11 healthy Ways to earn respect in relationships

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How SCOTUS shook things up

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The Court’s ruling in favor of First Choice could make it harder for states to investigate “crisis pregnancy centers” or impose disclosure requirements, indirectly expanding protections of these anti-abortion organizations.

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If this dual strategy—legislation and litigation—continues to succeed, the consequences for U.S. pregnancy care will be profound.

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Pregnant patients would have little recourse when they realize they’ve visited an unlicensed facility and suffered the health consequences of delayed care, misinformation, and coercion.

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Carving out an exception for anti-abortion centers creates a double standard that prioritizes an organization’s ideology over the very public safety laws designed to prevent medical deception.

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Editor’s note: This is an updated version of a story originally published on April 28, 2026. It was updated to reflect the Supreme Court’s decision in First Choice Women’s Resource Centers v. Platkin.

The post SCOTUS Made It Easier for Anti-Abortion Clinics to Mislead Pregnant Patients: Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Florida is at the front lines of a partisan battle over access to the ballot.

On April 29, 2026 the state legislature approved a redrawn congressional map designed to give Republicans four additional seats in the House of Representatives. The new map, submitted by Gov. Ron DeSantis just two days prior, was approved within hours of SCOTUS issuing its decision in Louisiana v. Callais, a case that eviscerated Section 2 of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, which prohibits voting practices that discriminate on the basis of race, among other things.

Historically, the Supreme Court had found that states had the right to create such districts to protect minority voting powers. But this Court’s conservative majority ruled 6-3 in favor of the plaintiffs, further gutting a landmark piece of legislation from the Civil Rights era and effectively enabling Florida’s gerrymandered map.

Florida also recently passed a voter ID law requiring not only proof of citizenship before registering to vote, but also radically restricting what types of photo ID can be used to verify one’s identity to election officials. Going forward, student IDs, those issued by retirement homes, and public assistance ID cards are no longer acceptable forms of identification at the polls.

Being a Black woman based in Florida’s capital, I’ve seen firsthand how my state has become a testing ground for far-right ideas that often become laws and almost invariably affect people like me.

Once a political battleground, Florida has been a solid Republican stronghold since 2020. Republicans now hold a supermajority in the state legislature, and since taking office in 2019, DeSantis has unleashed an assault on civil liberties.

The SAVE America Act

Florida’s new voter ID law is modeled on a Republican-sponsored federal bill. The SAVE America Act would require Americans to present proof of U.S. citizenship and a photo ID to register to vote or update their voter registration information.

“Your own driver’s license wouldn’t be sufficient to be able to cast your ballot. We’re talking passports or original birth certificates,” Sen. Alex Padilla, a Democrat representing California, told ABC7 in April 2026. “If you’re a woman who changed her name when she got married, good luck trying to meet the documentary requirements.”

The month before, Senate Majority Leader John Thune had signaled that the federal Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act, which passed the House in February 2026, would almost certainly die in the Senate.

The federal SAVE America Act would directly impact the more than 28 million people nationwide—roughly 12 percent of registered voters—who don’t have ready access to a passport or a certified birth certificate paired with a photo ID.

The legislation would disproportionately affect those who are already marginalized, particularly Black Americans and other people of color, who are less likely than white voters to possess acceptable forms of identification. Only about half of U.S. citizens have passports, and lower-income individuals are less likely to possess one.

Anybody whose current legal name does not match the name on their birth certificate could find themselves unable to vote. That includes approximately 69 million American women who took their spouse’s last name.

Name-matching requirements would also affect trans people who have legally changed their birth names. For a number of reasons, many elderly voters also lack an acceptable birth certificate.

States advance SAVE Acts

But while the public’s attention is focused on the federal battle over voting rights, Republican governors are quietly passing their own versions of this legislation as part of a continuing effort to restrict voting access.

In addition to Florida, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah have all all recently adopted legislation based on the federal bill, which will place additional, undue burdens on voters.

On March 25, 2026, Utah passed legislation requiring voters to provide proof of citizenship either at registration or prior to voting in state elections. Until their citizenship is confirmed, both new and existing registrants in Utah may only vote in federal elections under the law. Voters flagged as non-citizens face removal from voter rolls within 30 days but may cast a provisional ballot.

The following day, Gov. Larry Rhoden enacted South Dakota’s version of the SAVE Act, which requires new registrants—but not those already registered—to provide proof of U.S. citizenship before registering to vote in state elections.

Mississippi and Florida quickly followed suit.

Mississippi’s SHIELD Act requires the citizenship of every voter to be verified through state and federal databases. People flagged as potential noncitizens must provide proof of U.S. citizenship within 30 days of the notification. Alternatively, they may cast a provisional ballot, but must present proof of citizenship within five days of voting for it to count.

These laws ignore the fact that voter fraud is extremely rare, and has never affected an election outcome. Naturalized citizens, people of color, low-income individuals, the elderly, people from rural communities, disabled folks, and people experiencing housing insecurity are most likely to be impacted by the bills, which make it harder for voters to cast their ballots.

And what’s worse: They’re being enacted just months before the 2026 midterm elections.

Florida is a right-wing policy incubator

Over the past few years, Florida’s executive and legislative branches have attacked abortion access, the right to protest, LGBTQ+ rights, free speech, immigrants, and vaccine mandates. They’ve banned books, D.E.I initiatives, and critical race theory.

Their attacks on voting rights have been no less authoritarian. Measures passed prior to 2026 added new ID requirements for casting mail-in ballots and stifled third-party voter registration efforts by narrowing the window to file forms and creating more administrative burdens, among other changes.

DeSantis and other Republicans say that these laws are necessary to preserve Florida’s election security process, which they tout as exemplary.

“Since 2020, Florida has enacted more significant election integrity reforms than any other state in the country,” Florida Secretary of State Cord Byrd remarked after DeSantis signed the state’s version of the SAVE Act.

But the Republican view of “integrity” seems to exclude traditionally Democratic voting blocs.

In November 2018, for example, Florida residents voted to overturn the state’s strict felony disenfranchisement law, which dates back to its 1838 territorial constitution. Black and Latino people were disproportionately affected by this law.

Amendment 4, which allowed most Floridians with felony convictions to automatically regain voting rights after completing the terms of their sentence, passed with nearly 65 percent of the vote.

In June 2019, DeSantis responded to the enfranchisement of nearly 1.5 million people by signing a new law requiring those with felony convictions to pay the full amount of their court costs prior to voting. This is, in effect, a poll tax—a favored Southern voter-suppression method that the Supreme Court ruled unconstitutional in state elections in 1966. (The 24th Amendment, passed in 1964, prohibited poll taxes in federal elections.)

Because Florida has no centralized system for tracking financial obligations, many people with felony convictions have no idea how much they actually owe. Those with older cases may have trouble locating records of past payments.

Having once worked for a North Florida clerk of courts, I’ve witnessed challenges tracking payment of court fees and conviction-related fines across all 67 counties.

Florida Republicans have also previously employed gerrymandering to increase their political leverage. In 2022, DeSantis made the unprecedented move of vetoing congressional maps proposed by the state legislature and submitting his own. This gave Republicans 20 of Florida’s 28 congressional seats (one Democratic seat is currently vacant) and dismantled North Florida’s majority-minority District 5, which had been redrawn in 2015 to protect minority voting rights.

Ironically, the district was broken up on the grounds that it had been created through race-based gerrymandering—a practice the Supreme Court once supported.

SAVE Act could hurt Republican voters, too

Voter ID restrictions tend to hurt traditional Democratic voting blocs. But state-level SAVE Acts may inadvertently suppress Republican turnout, too.

Evidence suggests that Republicans are more likely than Democrats to rely on birth certificates. For example, about 10 percent of Republican women kept their last name after marriage compared to 20 percent of Democrats, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey.

Because they are less reliable than passports as proof of citizenship, state-level SAVE Acts could result in Republican voters having to clear additional administrative hurdles. In red states with large rural populations, for instance, many conservative voters (especially those who are lower-income) may not have the means or ability to travel to government offices or pay for the necessary documents.

But maybe Republicans have taken this into account. It’s possible they’ve decided that hurting their own voters a little—in hopes of hurting likely Democratic voters a lot—is worth the collateral damage.

The post The Federal SAVE Act Will Likely Die in the Senate. But in Florida, It’s Already Law: Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Federal, SAVE, Act, Will, Likely, Die, the, Senate., But, Florida, It’s, Already, Law:, Analysis", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/The-SAVE-Act-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/30/save-act-voting-rights-act-red-states-florida-gerrymandering/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-30 14:56:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184738", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Therapy: Why Human Services Require a Human Connection", "title_slug": "therapy-why-human-services-require-a-human-connection", "title_hash": "6a6d16f2b34f5b418168d4d12ebe0d57", "summary": "In most therapy, the connection that often matters most is the one with the therapist. In couples work, it may not be.\nThe post Therapy: Why Human Services Require a Human Connection appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

In most therapy, the connection that often matters most is the one with the therapist. In couples work, it may not be.

The post Therapy: Why Human Services Require a Human Connection appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Therapy:, Why, Human, Services, Require, Human, Connection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-1435001168-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/therapy-why-human-services-require-a-human-connection/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-30 14:21:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184737", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Finding the Right Online Therapy Format for Your Relationship", "title_slug": "finding-the-right-online-therapy-format-for-your-relationship", "title_hash": "1ea8482596c2d63839c5e32419033b72", "summary": "By now, most couples ask whether online therapy works. Fewer ask what kind of therapy they are actually getting.\nThe post Finding the Right Online Therapy Format for Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

By now, most couples ask whether online therapy works. Fewer ask what kind of therapy they are actually getting.

The post Finding the Right Online Therapy Format for Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Finding, the, Right, Online, Therapy, Format, for, Your, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "31", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-2261704721-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/finding-right-online-therapy-format/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-30 14:21:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184736", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Good and Bad of Resilience", "title_slug": "the-good-and-bad-of-resilience", "title_hash": "b38e0d96e228d0329d88156518f404d1", "summary": "Resilience can carry a couple through almost anything. The \"almost\" matters more than it sounds.\nThe post The Good and Bad of Resilience appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Resilience can carry a couple through almost anything. The \"almost\" matters more than it sounds.

The post The Good and Bad of Resilience appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Good, and, Bad, Resilience", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "31", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-2169724168-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/good-and-bad-of-resilience/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-30 14:21:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184573", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Picking Up Girls in Techno Clubs, Part 2: How to Get Into Selective Alternative Venues", "title_slug": "picking-up-girls-in-techno-clubs-part-2-how-to-get-into-selective-alternative-venues", "title_hash": "87cc762c57a679fbb01cd0027ddf3782", "summary": "The most selective alternative music & techno clubs can be HARD to get into. You’ll need to play by the ‘alternative venue rules’ to make it inside.\nWelcome back to my series on picking up girls in techno and alternative music clubs.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"getting$ The most selective alternative music & techno clubs can be HARD to get into. You’ll need to play by the ‘alternative venue rules’ to make it inside.

Welcome back to my series on picking up girls in techno and alternative music clubs.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Picking, Girls, Techno, Clubs, Part, How, Get, Into, Selective, Alternative, Venues", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/techno-club-entry-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/picking-girls-techno-clubs-part-2-how-get-selective-alternative-venues", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184574", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Getting Girls to Chase: Give Her a Taste, Then an Absence", "title_slug": "getting-girls-to-chase-give-her-a-taste-then-an-absence", "title_hash": "9fe0a709c52659efc9454d755471af11", "summary": "\n\n\n", "content": "

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", "keywords": "Getting, Girls, Chase:, Give, Her, Taste, Then, Absence", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/getting-girls-chase-give-her-taste-then-absence", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184572", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is She Testing You Or Is She Auto-Rejecting?", "title_slug": "is-she-testing-you-or-is-she-auto-rejecting", "title_hash": "7a706323cf5a13ce2fa97d952211977f", "summary": "Miss an escalation window, and girls start testing you – but due to auto-rejection, not other reasons. How you respond is critical IF you want the girl!\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"test$ Miss an escalation window, and girls start testing you – but due to auto-rejection, not other reasons. How you respond is critical IF you want the girl!

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", She, Testing, You, She, Auto-Rejecting", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/auto-rejection-test-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/she-testing-you-or-she-auto-rejecting", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184570", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Grooming Awards 2026: Shaving Products", "title_slug": "grooming-awards-2026-shaving-products", "title_hash": "9a724c42cf2e4c7edb8ec1a0403779cf", "summary": "Achieve a Closer Shave and Banish Unsightly Bumps for Good With These Top Shaving Essentials", "content": "Sick of nicks, cuts and unsightly razor burn? Eager for a shaving upgrade that will simultaneously look great in your bathroom and perform great on your face? Or maybe you've decided 2026 is the year you're finally going to grow out your facial hair, and you need the grooming tools necessary to get the most of your mustache?\r\nWhatever your shaving needs, our panel of judges has you covered, with the year's best creams, balms, after-shaves and razors.\r\nBest Shave Cream\r\nFur Shave Cream\r\n\r\nThe irony of its name takes nothing away from Fur’s satin-soft, lightweight shave cream. A guaranteed maximum glide with zero razor burn makes this a medicine cabinet staple that can also be used for the underarms, chest, and the notoriously sensitive pubic area.\r\n$34 at FurYou.com \r\nBest Shave Gel\r\nDavines Pasta & Love Softening Shave Gel\r\n\r\nThose obsessed with Davines’ iconic shampoo and conditioner line will also enjoy this softening shave gel-to-foam, complete with trendy Alkekengi extract for its optimal soothing properties. Its trademark citrus fragrance is also an added bonus — subtle enough to be appreciated while not overpowering other facial products.\r\n$32 at Davines.com \r\nBest Beard Balm\r\nFable Beard Co. The Hero Beard Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nIt’s no fable that Fable Beard Co. has emerged as one of the best beard balm makers on the market. The Hero, arguably its hero product, smells of warm tobacco and amber. But if it’s not your vibe, the company stands by a clever “worry-free scent exchange” so that you can swap it for something that better suits your preferences.\r\n$23.99 at FableBeardCo.com \r\nBest Beard Wash\r\nBeard Guyz 2-in-1 Beard 2-in-1 Wash and Tame\r\n\r\nBeard hair also deserves the shampoo treatment and Beard Guyz delivers with this 2-in-1 wash and tame solution. The powerful tube’s contents clean and condition while also removing build-up and softening coarseness, making it an essential first step in morning grooming.\r\n$7.49 at BeardGuyz.com \r\nBest After-Shave\r\nSolSoller Skinlit Bellini\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile it may not bring the same joy as a peach bellini during weekend brunch, SolSoller’s Skinlit Bellini serves as an excellent and sweet-smelling after-shave with its thoughtful blend of niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, coconut-derived ingredients, and vitamin C. Manufactured especially for sensitive skin, it’s also well-suited for those who may be prone to conditions like rosacea or acne.\r\n$62 at SolSoller.com \r\nBest Razor Bump Treatment\r\nThe Cut Buddy Bump Buddy Razor Bump Treatment\r\n\r\nThose most susceptible to ingrown hairs, razor burn, and pesky bumps will treasure this jar of The Cut Buddy’s Bump Buddy razor bump treatment. Apply the aloe, tea tree, and witch hazel cream to soothe the skin, calm redness, and ward off shaving’s many annoying side effects.\r\n$17.99 at TheCutBuddy.com \r\nBest Razor\r\nLeaf Single Edge Razor\r\n\r\nAny search online or in a store will prove that there are plenty of modern razors to choose from, yet Leaf has found a way to go back to basics with its single edge model that is as sleek as it is effective. Turn over a new leaf by ditching abrasive, mainstream varieties that irritate the face and opt for this eco-friendly, plastic-free tool that is designed for more skin contact and less build-up with disposable blades.\r\n$79 at LeafShave.com \r\nBest Trimmer\r\nDollar Shave Club 3-in-1 Freestyler\r\n\r\n\r\nWe love a tool that does it all and Dollar Shave Club’s 3-in-1 Freestyler excels at trimming, shaving, and shaping, making it a one-stop shop for neat and tidy beards. The built-in guard with ceramic blades can also be adjusted to three lengths to accommodate unique styles and individual stubble preferences.\r\n$37 at DollarShaveClub.com \r\nBest Body Groomer\r\nMeridian The Trimmer Original\r\n\r\nTrim the more sensitive areas of your body with care, precision, and confidence by using Meridian’s The Trimmer Original. It’s waterproof, designed to avoid nicks and tugs, and is powered by a battery with a whopping 90 minutes of life before requiring a recharge.\r\n$71 at MeridianGrooming.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nGrooming Awards 2026: Best Hair Care ProductsGrooming Awards 2026: Best Body Care ProductsGrooming Awards 2026: Best Face Care Products", "keywords": "Grooming, Awards, 2026:, Shaving, Products", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/grooming-awards-2026-shaving-products/shave-2x1-1776260420.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/grooming-awards-2026-shaving-products.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184571", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Grooming Awards 2026: Face Care Products", "title_slug": "grooming-awards-2026-face-care-products", "title_hash": "97010b7626c3011a570e4584be07e26e", "summary": "Upgrade Your Smile, Clear Up Your Skin, and Freshen Your Breath With the Year's Best Grooming Products", "content": "We've spent a quarter-century urging men to take better care of their faces, and we're not changing our tune in 2026. Most guys don't have much of a facial care routine, and when they do, it rarely consists of more than just a simple wash. We're here to tell you even a three-step, five-minute morning face care routine will help you fight off blemishes, tighten your pores and keep wrinkles at bay.\r\nInterested yet? Our panel of grooming experts made things even easier on you by picking out the year's best face care products, from washes and acne treatments to moisturizers and masks.\r\nBest Skincare Brand of the Year\r\nOSEA Malibu\r\n\r\nDebuting hit after consecutive hit, family-owned OSEA Malibu has evolved into one of the most celebrated beauty brands on the market. Its mission to incorporate seaweed-derived ingredients is one of a kind, touting the ocean plant’s vitamins, nutrients, and minerals that repair, restore, and replenish the skin from head to toe. Standouts include everything from an Undaria algae body oil to a lightweight, mattifying blemish balm that is the cure-all for an oily t-zone. OSEA Malibu constantly reinvents itself by introducing new products while always revamping its preexisting lineup, making it a company that is equal parts reliable and exciting.\r\nFind out more at OSEAMalibu.com \r\n \r\nBest New Skincare Brand\r\nStrive\r\n\r\nA skincare brand is only as good as the science that goes into it and Strive founder Angel Olavarria has dedicated his career to researching the ingredients that yield smoother, healthier, and compliment-worthy skin. The result is a line made for men who “strive” to be better versions of themselves, with products like a best-selling, plant oil-based miracle face moisturizer and a jojoba face scrub that have earned it staying power in a notoriously oversaturated industry. Needless to say, we’re excited to see what the company has in store as it continues to attract an already-impressive number of loyal customers.\r\nFind out more at StriveSkin.com \r\nBest Anti-Aging Treatment\r\nEonian 40+ Starter Edition\r\n\r\nThis dynamic duo with a daily moisturizer and night treatment keeps skin hydrated and protected during the day while supporting collagen and firmness as you sleep. It’s an effective two-step approach for the guy who wants to simplify his skincare routine and not navigate through a medicine cabinet full of products.\r\n$156 at EonianSkincare.com\r\nBest Face Cleanser\r\nLILFOX Tomato Milk Cleanser\r\n\r\nWe know the importance of a well-rounded diet of fruit and veggies. This extends to skincare products, as well, with LILFOX’s garden-forward tomato milk cleanser that smells as if you’ve extracted the oils of a peppery green tomato vine and rubbed it into your face. The formula is rounded out by papaya and pineapple enzymes that scrub away buildup while black willow-derived salicylic acid refines texture.\r\n$134 at LILFOX.miami \r\nBest Exfoliating Cleanser\r\nPlantkos Gentle Exfoliating Daily Gel Cleanser\r\n\r\nShed the day’s layer of dirt and grime with Plantkos’ Gentle Exfoliating Daily Gel Cleanser. The pH-balanced blend of turmeric, willow bark, bilberry, and panthenol can be used daily to remove impurities without over-drying, leaving your face feeling both clean and rejuvenated.\r\n$27 at Plantkos.co \r\nBest Toner\r\nGoshi Super Vitamin Elixir Toner\r\n\r\n \r\nTake your vitamins, but also rub them into your face with Goshi’s Super Vitamin Elixir toner that refines, smooths, and hydrates. The vitamin E, virgin sesame oil, wild thyme, and plant oil combo feels like a quick spritz of water, but leaves the skin feeling soft and bouncy to stand up to additional layers of products.\r\n$56.18 at Goshi.com \r\nBest Toner Pads\r\nJaxon Lane Glow Up Pad \r\n\r\nA skincare routine gamechanger, Jaxon Lane’s toner pads help to wipe away dead skin, dirt, sweat, and even makeup while exfoliating with PHAs and AHAs. Use the biodegradable rounds daily to reveal skin that glows and prepare the surface for the brand’s impressive arsenal of other dermis-strengthening topicals.\r\n$38 at JaxonLane.com \r\nBest Face Essence\r\nOrigins Plantscription Youth-Boosting Essence\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking to awaken and prep the skin before applying toners, serums, and creams, Origins’ Plantscription Youth-Boosting Essence is a good place to start. The shea butter and salicylic acid-based wonder has also been clinically proven to reduce the appearance of fine lines and rough skin texture in as little as two weeks.\r\n$76 at Origins.com \r\nBest Face Serum\r\nNassifMD Niacinamide Biopeptide Serum\r\n\r\nPeptides are all the rage and E!’s most famous plastic surgeon, Dr. Paul Nassif, has found a way to bottle the miracle ingredient in a serum that promotes anti-aging. Consider it a superfood for your face with the addition of antioxidant-rich cranberry extracts that enhance glow and radiance.\r\n$55 at NassifMDSkincare.com \r\nBest Face Oil\r\nMaya Chia The Super Couple Ultra Luxe Face Oil\r\n\r\n \r\nThe term “ultra luxe” isn’t hyperbolic after spreading Maya Chia’s The Super Couple Ultra Luxe face oil into your delicate dermis. Antioxidant astaxanthin, in tandem with chia, omega fatty-acids, antioxidants, and minerals, work together to combat inflammation while imparting an enviable dewy aura that will last all day.\r\n$86 at MayaChia.com \r\nBest Face Scrub\r\nMaelove The Exfoliator BHA + Clay Facial Scrub\r\n\r\nBuff away impurities with Maelove’s beloved The Exfoliator, formulated with BHA and clay to awaken rough, dull, and congested skin. Use it up to 2-3 times per week to notice long-lasting results in as little as a month.\r\n$40 at Maelove.com \r\nBest Face Moisturizer\r\nBeau Domaine The Cream\r\n\r\n \r\nWe’ll take any opportunity to look more like Brad Pitt. His uber-popular skincare line, Beau Domaine, will have to suffice in the meantime with its most talked-about product, The Cream. Its luxurious texture practically melts into your skin and is powered by a potent blend of patented actives and antioxidants to improve elasticity and combat free radicals.\r\n$99 at Beau-Domaine.com \r\nBest Face Moisturizer for Acne-Prone Skin\r\nStarface Star Cream + Salicylic Acid \r\n\r\nStarface is so much more than an acne-targeting line with fun and colorful packaging: It’s got products that work, including this salicylic acid-based moisturizer that can be a last step for practically any nightly skincare routine. We also love to rub it into pimple-prone areas of the body such as the back and shoulders for a featherweight, non-clogging layer of moisturization.\r\n$15.99 at Starface.world \r\nBest Moisturizing Stick\r\nDeinde Moisture-Locking Face Stick\r\n\r\nDeinde’s Moisture-Locking Face Stick is a convenient item to keep in a bag or pocket for an on-the-go burst of hydration. It’s also ideal for city dwellers in need of an extra layer of protection against environmental stressors such as pollution.\r\n$36 at Deinde.com \r\nBest Sheet Mask\r\nPatchology Serve Chilled On Ice Hydrogel Firming Face Mask\r\n\r\nIf you love the feeling of ice on your face, chill out with Patchology’s Serve Chilled on Ice hydrogel firming face masks. They reduce redness and inflammation while strengthening the skin with peptides, vitamin C-rich cloudberry extract, and plant-based retinol.\r\n$12 at Patchology.com \r\nBest Eye Cream\r\nDr. Barbara Sturm Super Anti-Aging Eye Cream\r\n\r\nEye creams often get a bad rep for being nothing more than high-priced moisturizers, but Dr. Barbara Sturm has broken through the noise with a product that actually works. This small yet mighty jar is jam-packed with puffiness- and dark shadow-reducing ingredients like Persian silk tree extract, red ginseng, and hyaluronic acid to make tired eyes look and feel alive again.\r\n$225 at DrSturm.com \r\nBest Night Cream\r\nSetú Moisturizer with Retinol, Maca & Açaí\r\n\r\n \r\nRetinol, maca, and acai team up as a p.m. power trio to smooth and refine skin overnight. A little goes a long way, making this vegan, science-backed, Latin America-inspired moisturizer a wise investment and perfect finisher to any evening skincare routine.\r\n$25 at SetuPersonalCare.com \r\nBest Sleeping Mask\r\nEmma Lewisham Supernatural Sleeping Mask\r\n\r\nThe body doesn’t just rest and recover while you sleep — it also restores the skin, and New Zealand-based Emma Lewisham debuted a sleeping mask that accelerates this process. Engineered using a proprietary Physiology Synchrony Unlock method, this bedtime essential combines 22 active ingredients to form a synergistic skin system that “mimics the cellular pathways of your skin” and “triggers the skin’s own restorative and preventative action.”\r\n$90 at EmmaLewisham.com \r\nBest Acne Treatment\r\nSkin Pharm Crystal Clear Clarifying Pads\r\n\r\n \r\nBlackheads and cysts don’t stand a chance against Skin Pharm’s Crystal Clear clarifying pads that not only clean and tighten pores, but also prime the surface of the face for the brand’s impressive line of other high-end, acne-fighting products. This can include bestsellers like the peptide-filled Youth Serum and High Beam brightening lotion.\r\n$50 at SkinPharm.com \r\nBest Acne Patches\r\nGood Molecules Pimple Patches\r\n\r\n \r\nDare we say that pimple patches are fun? Good Molecules’ stickers are as easy to use as they are effective, offering an ultra-thin, hydrocolloid-based product that will prevent notorious pickers from squeezing and irritating their faces.\r\nFrom $8 at GoodMolecules.com \r\nBest Acne Spray\r\nPersonal Day Trust Me On This Hypochlorous Acid Spray\r\n\r\nTrust us on this and spray away any impending bumps and pustules with Personal Day’s Trust Me On This hypochlorous acid spray. The bacteria-killing mist can be used for a quick refresh throughout the day, but especially during moments like post-gym where you may not have immediate access to a sink or shower.\r\n$27 at PersonalDay.com \r\nBest Face Sunscreen\r\nRound Lab Birch Moisturizing Sunscreen UVLock SPF 45+ Broad Spectrum\r\n\r\nMost dermatologists will argue that a good sunscreen is, perhaps, the most important anti-aging product you can put on your face each day and Round Lab has concocted a winning formula that is protective, moisturizing, and non-greasy. With over 10 million bottles sold worldwide, it’s also no surprise why this has been declared Korea’s number one sunscreen.\r\n$28 at RoundLab.com \r\nBest Toothbrush\r\nNimbus Regular Microfine Toothbrush\r\n\r\nThe Nimbus Regular Microfine toothbrush makes a wonderful addition to any oral hygiene routine, especially for those who are gum-sensitive. Its extra-soft, duo-sized bristles remove plaque while a full brush head and long handle allow users to get into all of the mouth’s nooks and crannies.\r\n$19 at NimbusDental.com \r\nBest Electric Toothbrush\r\nSupersmile Zina45 Sonic Toothbrush\r\n\r\nIt’s electric! And it’s not going to sit near a bathroom sink collecting dust. Supersmile’s Zina45 sonic toothbrush has redefined what it means to be a cutting-edge oral hygiene product with features like a one-of-a-kind polishing head and four distinct cleaning modes to help you effectively clean above and below the gum line. \r\n$175 at Supersmile.com \r\nBest Toothpaste\r\nTheraBreath Fresh Breath Toothpaste\r\n\r\nTherabreath quickly emerged as one of, if not the best mouthwashes on the market. As a result, we were obviously way too excited to see the brand’s highly anticipated foray into toothpaste. Unsurprisingly, it’s also a hit with a clinical-strength formula that successfully fights bad breath with a pleasant mild mint flavor.\r\n$10.99 at TheraBreath.com \r\nBest Mouthwash\r\nRiseWell Balancing Mouthwash\r\n\r\nRise up against bad breath with RiseWell's alcohol-free mouthwash that eliminates odor-causing bacteria with Xylitol and baking soda. The formula also supports a healthy microbiome by nurturing good bacteria which, in turn, balances the mouth’s pH level and leads to a minty-fresh smile.\r\n$26 at RiseWell.com \r\nBest Whitening Product\r\nLumineux Whitening Strips\r\n\r\nAttaining coveted pearly whites is easy and affordable with Lumineux’s whitening strips. Dead Sea salt, coconut oil, and lemon peel work overtime to whiten and brighten without the sensitivity that comes with more mainstream alternatives.\r\n$50 at LumineuxHealth.com \r\nBest Lip Balm\r\nHarry’s Black Lip Balm\r\n\r\nThis isn’t an invitation to relive high school days as a goth. Instead, Harry’s black lip balm goes on clear and matted, providing the utmost in hydration without feeling too heavy on the skin.\r\n$20 at Harrys.com \r\nBest Face Tool\r\nTherabody TheraFace Depuffing Wand\r\n\r\nEye bags? Swollen cheeks? Double chin? Kick them to the curb. Inflammation has met its match with Therabody’s beloved depuffing wand that cools, heats, and massages with precision and ease. Along with morning coffee, it’s become our favorite way to start the day.\r\n$169.99 at Therabody.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nGrooming Awards 2026: Best Hair Care ProductsGrooming Awards 2026: Best Shave ProductsGrooming Awards 2026: Best Body Care Products", "keywords": "Grooming, Awards, 2026:, Face, Care, Products", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/skin/grooming-awards-2026-face-care-products/face-2x1-1776257146.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/skin/grooming-awards-2026-face-care-products.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184568", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Spooning Sex Position, Explained", "title_slug": "the-spooning-sex-position-explained", "title_hash": "4020085c5adf6c2c251da946b059312f", "summary": "If you own more than one spoon, you can likely imagine the position and benefits of spoon sex. \r\nStacking two bodies beside one another is undoubtedly more involved than putting silverware away, but if you’re new to the spooning sex position, there are plenty of reasons to try it. \r\nLow-effort but still lots of fun, this classic position benefits both partners involved — and did we mention it's super easy to execute? \r\nRELATED: First-Time Sex Positions for Virgins \r\nThat being said, like any sex position, it does have a handful of downsides. Here's everything you need to know about the spoon position, as told by experts and enthusiasts: \r\n\r\nWhat Is the Spoon Sex Position?\r\n\r\nIf you're familiar with doggy style, the spoon sex position is a variation thereof, done lying down on your sides. \r\n“Like two spoons stacked together, the two bodies are stacked together with one person's butt pushed into the other person's groin region,” explains Dr. Jenni Skyler, LMFT, certified sex therapist fo", "content": "If you own more than one spoon, you can likely imagine the position and benefits of spoon sex. \r\nStacking two bodies beside one another is undoubtedly more involved than putting silverware away, but if you’re new to the spooning sex position, there are plenty of reasons to try it. \r\nLow-effort but still lots of fun, this classic position benefits both partners involved — and did we mention it's super easy to execute? \r\nRELATED: First-Time Sex Positions for Virgins \r\nThat being said, like any sex position, it does have a handful of downsides. Here's everything you need to know about the spoon position, as told by experts and enthusiasts: \r\n\r\nWhat Is the Spoon Sex Position?\r\n\r\nIf you're familiar with doggy style, the spoon sex position is a variation thereof, done lying down on your sides. \r\n“Like two spoons stacked together, the two bodies are stacked together with one person's butt pushed into the other person's groin region,” explains Dr. Jenni Skyler, LMFT, certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com. “The legs are typically bent, and heads are nestled close to each other.”\r\nIf you’re having trouble picturing it, here’s an illustration: \r\n\r\nIllustration by Carlee Ranger.\r\nIn any spooning scenario, there's someone who plays the role of the “big spoon” (the partner in the back), who cradles the “little spoon” in front. \r\nRELATED: Sexual Positions Women Enjoy \r\nWhen it comes to cuddling, which partner plays which role is largely up to preference (though the bigger partner may have to maneuver to curl themselves up more if they want to be the small spoon). \r\nIn a sexual scenario, the penetrating partner plays the big spoon so that they can enter from behind; hetero couples will often find this a familiar dynamic if the penetrating partner is a man and larger than his female partner, but queer couples or straight couples who want to explore pegging play may want to experiment with switching things up. \r\n\r\nBenefits of Spoon Sex\r\n\r\nSpoon sex is often a go-to position for morning sex, or for one of those days when both partners are feeling lazy and horny. \r\nRELATED: Low-Effort Sex Positions for When You're Feeling Lazy \r\n“This is a great position for those who are feeling tired, those who want the full-body closeness and intimacy, or those who have injuries or physical challenges,” Skyler explains. \r\nUnlike labor-intensive positions like reverse cowgirl, neither partner needs to do much in terms of mobility for spooning sex to work. \r\n\r\n“Any time I'm in the spoon position when I'm cuddling, I end up getting horny,” says Claire, 23. “My butt is right there pressed up against it, and it makes me want to do it, so usually we'll just stay in that position, strip down and do it that way.”\r\n\r\nThe little spoon can press their body into the big spoon to generate pressure and movement; the big spoon can slowly move their hips in and out, or a combination of both. \r\nSince both partners are cuddled up next to each other, this position also doesn't require a ton of space. If you're feeling horny while hanging out together on the couch and don't want to relocate, spoon sex can easily be done right then and there. \r\nRELATED: Sex Positions Best Performed on Your Couch \r\nThe spoon position offers maximum body-to-body contact, making it a strong option as a winter sex position when it’s chilly out, and for feeling more of a physical connection with your partner. \r\nSpoon sex also leaves your hands free to do other things with. \r\n“[Spoon sex] allows for easy access to the clitoris and perineum, making additional stimulation simple to incorporate,” explains Rachel Wright, licensed psychotherapist and sex expert for Zumio. \r\nPlus, it's super versatile. “Spooning can be adapted for vaginal intercourse, anal sex, assisted masturbation with hands or a toy,” Wright continues. \r\nSince the spoon position allows for more shallow penetration than others, it can help people with penises last longer, Skyler points out. \r\n“Spooning can be great for those in the last semester of pregnancy and need to be in a side-line position for comfort,” she adds. \r\nRELATED: Best Sex Positions to Try During Pregnancy \r\n\r\nDrawbacks of Spoon Sex\r\n\r\nWhile the closeness of both people’s torsos and heads makes for some degree of intimacy, if you're someone who likes to lock eyes with your partner during the act, you may be disappointed that the spoon sex position makes this all but impossible. \r\nRELATED: Relationship Between Eye Contact & Attraction, Explained \r\nAnd, if you're a visual person who likes to see your partner's body during sex, limited visibility is also something to consider here, especially if you’re spooning under the covers. \r\nAdditionally, the range of motion this position affords might not be for everyone. \r\n“The position can restrict the range of motion and thrusting power,” explains Wright, which may limit the ability of some people with penises to reach orgasm during spoon sex. \r\n“The penetration angle might not be ideal for everyone, and it might require adjustment to find what feels best,” she continues. \r\n\r\n“Having sex in this position seems like a good idea in theory, but I could never get the angle right with my ex,” says Jada, 27. “He'd always slip out, and I'd be afraid of crushing his [penis] with my [butt], so we'd just cuddle in the spoon and move on to other positions.”\r\n\r\nWays to Make Spoon Sex More Fun\r\n\r\nWant to get more creative in the spoon position? Here are a few expert tips.\r\nChange Up the Angles\r\n“The receiving partner can adjust their leg positioning (like raising or straightening the top leg) to allow for different penetration angles and depths,” Wright explains.\r\nRELATED: Sex Positions for Partners With Height Differences \r\nSwitch Who's in Control\r\n“Sometimes, the front partner can push back into the other, taking control of the rhythm and depth,” says Wright. \r\nThis can make it a great option if the penetrating partner’s got a big penis and needs to be careful not to injure the receiving partner. \r\nRELATED: The Best Big Penis Sex Positions, Revealed \r\nTry Anal Sex\r\nIf the receiving partner has a vagina, well, FYI that spooning can also be a solid anal sex position, too. Just don’t try to switch from vaginal to anal without warning — anal sex requires not only enthusiastic consent, but also some prep work. \r\n “This makes for easy-going, shallow anal sex for those beginning or for those who want it more shallow,” says Skyler.\r\nTry Adding Toys\r\nIf you’re comfortable with sex toys, try using a vibrator to introduce additional stimulation into the mix, particularly for the clit or perineum of the person in the little spoon position. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nPositions to Help You Last LongerStealthy Sex Positions That Don't Make Much Noise\r\nBest Sleep Positions for Couples", "keywords": "The, Spooning, Sex, Position, Explained", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/dating/love_tip/spooning-1097217-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/spooning.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184569", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?", "title_slug": "what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy", "title_hash": "043c5564ca26610a6036e7225df53a5a", "summary": "Should You Try CBT? The Benefits of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy", "content": "When you hear people say they go to therapy, most of them are likely referring to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It’s one of the most popular therapeutic approaches these days for a reason: It’s highly effective when it comes to treating a variety of mental health issues — or even simply managing stress. \r\n“First, it's incredibly versatile, effectively treating various disorders ranging from depression and anxiety to phobias and PTSD. This broad applicability makes it a go-to for many therapists,” according to Sal Raichbach, LCSW, PsyD, Chief Clinical Officer at Haven Health Management. “Secondly, CBT is evidence-based, meaning it has been rigorously tested in clinical trials and shown to be effective. This empirical support reassures both practitioners and patients of its validity and effectiveness.”\r\nRELATED: How Therapy Can Change Your Life\r\nBut what exactly is CBT? From unpacking what really happens in a one-on-one session with a therapist to understanding the benefits of the approach, here’s what you need to know to determine whether it’s right for you.\r\n \r\n\r\nWhat Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?\r\n\r\n \r\nCognitive Behavioral Therapy is based on the premise that your thoughts inform your feelings, which then drive your behavior and can therefore reinforce certain thoughts. When you frequently have unhelpful thoughts, you can get stuck in negative patterns of thinking, feeling and acting. \r\nCBT helps you break those patterns and create healthier ones by making you more aware of the way you think and behave — and how this affects your emotional well-being. “CBT is about empowering individuals to become their own therapists by understanding the connections between their actions, emotions, and outcomes. It's like having a toolbox for life's challenges,” says Dr. Shmaya Krinsky, founder of Anxiety and Behavioral Health Psychotherapy.\r\n \r\nWhile this may sound a little bit abstract at first, know that CBT is actually super structured and action-oriented. Through conversations with your therapist, you learn strategies and skills to manage issues like anxiety and improve your mental health based on personal goals. \r\nFor example, let’s say that you struggle with impostor syndrome at work. In therapy, you realize that this feeling of not being good enough has permeated your entire life. Your therapist helps you uncover thoughts that have become so automatic you don’t even realize you’re having them on a daily basis — thoughts like, “I am a failure” or “I am not as smart as other people.”\r\n\r\nChallenging Unhelpful Thought Patterns Through CBT\r\n\r\n \r\nThese continuous thoughts are called cognitive distortions. They create a filter through which you experience the world, but they’re not rooted in reality. Your therapist teaches you to first become aware of them, then gently challenge them with more rational thinking. \r\nFor instance, you may catch yourself thinking yet again that it’s only a matter of time before you get fired. This makes you feel terrible and leads you to work on evenings and weekends to try to make up for it. You overextend yourself and start making mistakes, which reinforces your fears of getting fired.\r\n \r\nIn this case, challenging unhelpful thoughts may look like gathering insights about what kind of feedback you’ve received from your boss or peers lately. Do you have reasons to believe that you are underperforming at work? \r\nWait a minute — you just received praise during a meeting a couple of weeks ago. And you keep being given more responsibilities, which is a good sign. You feel better. The next time you catch yourself beating yourself up, you repeat the process and remind yourself of the facts.\r\n \r\nNot only does this approach help you manage your feelings of anxiety about not measuring up, but it also leads you to adopt healthier behaviors like embracing a better work-life balance and being more focused at work. This feeds into a new positive loop of thoughts, feelings and actions. \r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy\r\n\r\n \r\n“One of the biggest benefits of CBT is that it empowers you to take control over your own thoughts and feelings. You learn to identify and challenge negative patterns of thinking that may be causing distress, and replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts,” says Raichbach. \r\nThe payoff? “Improved self-esteem, increased confidence, and better coping mechanisms for dealing with stress or anxiety,” adds Raichbach, who also notes that it’s possible to see results in a relatively short amount of time with CBT.\r\n \r\nKrinsky agrees: “CBT offers individuals the opportunity to experience significant improvement relatively quickly. With its focus on practical actions, CBT provides tangible steps for individuals to implement in their daily lives.” \r\nWhether you learn how to constructively work through relationship struggles or find better ways to cope with stress, one of the most powerful benefits of CBT lies in the fact that it equips you with tools that you can use for the rest of your life.\r\n \r\n\r\nShould You Try CBT?\r\n\r\n \r\nSo, should you try CBT? Both Raichbach and Krinsky say that it can benefit anyone who wants to improve their well-being and manage stress — in fact, CBT can be used as a preventative tool to help you develop healthy coping mechanisms before more serious issues arise. \r\nHowever, both experts also note that it’s essential to be motivated to actively participate in the process and embrace new ways of seeing and doing things. “Additionally, those with severe mental health conditions may require more intensive or specialized treatment,” says Raichbach.\r\n \r\nIf you want to invest in your emotional well-being and are willing to put in the work, CBT can be a wonderful option. If you are experiencing mental health struggles such as depression, it’s always best to consult a mental health professional to explore the best course of action for your unique needs. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Spot the Subtle Signs of DepressionWhat Is Confrontational Therapy?Misconceptions About Mental Health Guys Have", "keywords": "What, Cognitive, Behavioral, Therapy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/mental-health/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/askmen-lead-image-template-1-1715092549.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/mental-health/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "184567", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Set Up for the Classic Powerlifting Movements", "title_slug": "how-to-set-up-for-the-classic-powerlifting-movements", "title_hash": "8fcd670549e8e5410a22fb6fcd9f9974", "summary": "Expert Technique Advice for the Deadlift, Bench Press and Squat", "content": "Sun Tzu said that “every battle is won before it's ever fought.” Winning, in this case, means setting yourself up for success. You do this by finding positions where great mechanics happen automatically and where training stresses are directed into the places you want them most — like your quads, your glutes and your chest — without unnecessary wear and tear. It’s about efficiency, reproducibility and getting stronger over the long-term. And it all begins with a great setup.\r\nRELATED: What Is Resistance Training?\r\nWe’re going to look at the classic powerlifting movements — squat, bench press and deadlift. These aren’t the only ways to get strong but they’re popular, time-tested options. That’s why AskMen spoke to three seasoned coaches about how they set their clients up for success in the gym.\r\n\r\nDeadlift\r\n\r\nVivek Padhiar is the senior coach at Bang Personal Training in Toronto. “Just because you’re deadlifting, it doesn’t mean that you have to deadlift off the floor. You can lift from whatever height helps you be successful. If you’re a taller dude, you might want to lift from [mid]-shin height. The fact that the plate has a 9-inch diameter is pretty arbitrary,” says Padhiar.\r\nBegin with your feet under the bar. “If you’re wearing shoes, think about the knot of your shoelace being under the bar. If not, the front of the ankle joint. Breathe in to create abdominal pressure and hold most of it. From there, hinge back. Think about your bum pushing back to a wall behind you and your head pushing out to the wall in front of you. You’re going to get to a point where you can’t get your hips back any further — and you might be freaking out because you can’t reach the bar from there. At that point, bend at your knees (keep your butt behind you).” Breathe in fully, squeeze the bar and get ready for the hard part.\r\n“What most people have trouble with is coordinating the next part of the movement,” says Padhiar. “That’s where you [need] a little bit of pre-tension through the feet into the floor.” \r\nHe describes the muscular effort here as pushing instead of lifting — “As if you’re trying to leave permanent footprints in memory foam.” From there, he instructs you to “bend the bar” or “squeeze lemons under your armpits.\" Padhiar says that the key is to smoothly ramp up your output. “You’re not going from 0 to 100 right away.” \r\nHere, he points to an extra sensory cue: “You’ll notice there’s a bit of rattling when you pick a bar up. When you coordinate that movement of pushing your feet through the floor and taking the slack out of the bar with your lats and upper body, you’ll hear a click well before the bar moves,” says Padhiar. That’s when you know you’re in a good place.\r\n \r\n\r\nBench Press\r\n\r\nIordan Krouchev is a Montreal-based physiotherapist with a passion for strength and performance, so AskMen asked him for advice on how to perfect the setup for a bench press. \r\nFirst, you want the right amount of arch — not flat but not high. “So depending on your height — and the height of the bench — I might put a plate underneath your feet. What we'll do from there is place [your] eyes right under the bar. We need to make sure that the bar is at the end of the hooks as well. Those are important little things that sometimes we forget… we might hit the hooks on the way up — and with significant weight that can be a big issue,” says Krouchev.\r\n \r\nWhen it comes to grip width, “I usually start people with a medium grip… about between the knurling (the textured part of the bar) and the first ring… Now, you're in a good position: your feet are flat on the plates or floor; you are properly engaged through your trunk; there's no big arch, you're not rounded through your back; you have good contact with the soles of your feet.” Here, Krouchev wants you to feel stable on the bench — you should be able to hold the position against someone trying to push you off. \r\nRELATED: The Ultimate Bench Press Guide\r\n“Grip the bar hard,” says Krouchev. You can try to bend the bar or pull it apart. “I think those are all good ways to feel that we're very connected and contracted and engaged with the bar… So that's going to make us feel more engagement through the whole shoulder. From there, ensure that your arms are locked out as you lift it from the hooks or receive it from a spotter. Bring the bar forward until it’s in the most stable position possible — where you could hold it with straight arms for the longest amount of time. “Depending on the load, we're either going to inhale as we go down and exhale as we press — or, for a very heavy load, inhale, before the movement starts and hold the breath as the bar goes down.” As you lower the bar from above, “we'll see that [your elbows] are at about 45º angle. So it will look like an arrow.\r\n\r\nSquat\r\n\r\nMontreal-based trainer, Rich Thaw, knows a ton about strength training athletic performance. So, when AskMen asked him how he sets up the barbell squat, he immediately goes to movement.\r\n“The squat should be an elevator-type action of the pelvis… an up and down action.” For new exercisers, this typically means a goblet squat or front squat. Stronger lifters will go right to a front squat or Zercher squat (where the barbell sits in the crook of the elbows). “I front-load everyone to start,” says Thaw. “Usually, with a heel-lift because the more front-loaded someone is, the easier it is for them to stack their bodies vertically.” He’ll progress to a safety squat bar from there, which brings the weight further forward than a conventional back squat.\r\nRELATED: How to Squat\r\n“You can do more in a back squat than in most other lifts,” says Thaw, which makes it tempting to focus on it. However, he doesn’t typically prescribe a back squat unless you’re preparing for powerlifting competition. For everyone else, the priority is strength and muscular development. “The gym isn’t where they’re going to perform; they’re not barbell athletes. I want them to feel their legs and maybe their abs. Anything else doesn’t really matter. People will say, ‘My legs are fine but my abs are smoked.’ That’s good!” \r\nWhen it comes to other details, like hand position or foot width, Thaw says “it’s all secondary to vertical movement with a braced trunk.” Here, he refers to the feeling in your abdominals that comes from a hard exhale. “Head over heart over hips. Back it up! Get that exhale! You don’t have to maintain the exhale; you have to maintain the sensation of the exhale. Then go hard. Less thinking; more doing! If it’s too cerebral, you’re not ready for a good lift.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nStrength Training Accessories That Actually WorkHow to Start RunningBest Chest Workouts", "keywords": "How, Set, for, the, Classic, Powerlifting, Movements", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-set-up-for-the-classic-powerlifting-movements/askmen-lead-image-template-1715174539.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-set-up-for-the-classic-powerlifting-movements.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-29 03:54:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "183900", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Pushed Me Out Pregnant So He Could Be With His Pregnant Ex", "title_slug": "he-pushed-me-out-pregnant-so-he-could-be-with-his-pregnant-ex", "title_hash": "a9e455feefec9eb7798454190a32d93a", "summary": "I was three months pregnant when my husband asked me to go to my parents. According to him, our first pregnancy needed to be cared for like a seed, and …", "content": "

I was three months pregnant when my husband asked me to go to my parents. According to him, our first pregnancy needed to be cared for like a seed, and he wouldn’t be able to support me the way my experienced parents would. I told him, “It’s only three months—why should I go this early?”

I said no. He said yes. I stayed without leaving. From then on, he stopped helping with anything he used to help with. He would watch me fetch water and do heavy lifting. When I complained, he would say, “That’s why I told you to go to your mom.” I would wash and fold clothes, and he would sit and stare. I would be on my feet for several hours cooking, and he would sit and stare.

Those things didn’t bother me at all. I saw them as exercise, even though I needed his help like he used to give me. At seven months, he called my mom and told her to come for me. My mom called and asked if I was having a hard time. I said no.

I was very angry. I didn’t know why he wanted to send me away from my own matrimonial home because I was pregnant. I told him, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here, give birth, and spend my maternity here. At worst, my mom would come over—not me going to her.”

So he started coming home very late from work and said work was getting tighter and schedules were changing. He even said he would be traveling a lot because of the new schedule. His job didn’t involve any traveling, but all of a sudden, he started having assignments out of town and would go and spend two or three days away.

When I was eight going on nine months, I asked my mom to come over. Unfortunately, that was exactly when my dad started getting sick. When my mom couldn’t come, I had to go over so she could take care of me and my dad together. “You won,” I told my husband. “Whatever you needed my absence for, you have it now—but I hope it’s a good thing.”

He came to visit on weekends. When I delivered, he came around to spend two days with me and visited on weekends twice consecutively, then stopped coming. Again, it was work and how busy he was.

One evening, I called his phone several times and he didn’t pick up. I called a neighbor to check up on him. It was late, and he was alone. The neighbor told me he hadn’t seen my husband for over three days. I said, “Oh, I’ve been speaking to him and he’s always in the house. It’s only this evening that I can’t seem to reach him.”

When he finally answered the phone, he said he had been home the whole time and had heard the neighbor knocking but intentionally ignored her. It didn’t sit well with me, so I asked the neighbor to check on him again. Again, he wasn’t in the house, but he was on the phone telling me he was there. “Talk to the neighbor if you’re inside,” I said. He refused. “Okay, just turn on the light for her to see you’re inside.” He said he wasn’t obliged to do such a thing.

My child was one week old when I went there myself in the evening after my neighbor said he hadn’t seen him for days. I got home, opened the door, and went inside. It looked like the house hadn’t been occupied for days. I called him. Again, he said he was home. I said, “I’m here, so which part of the house are you in?”

He got angry that I was using the neighbor to monitor his movement. “Why are you doing this? Why are you involving the neighbor in your marriage?” I said, “I’m here personally. I didn’t send the neighbor, so let me see where you said you were.”

He cut the call and didn’t pick up again. The next day, he came home to see us. I was so angry I didn’t want to see his face. He still insisted I was using the neighbor and even tried to report me to my parents. My dad said, “She said she was coming to see you, so it’s true she came.” He even had the audacity to tell my father that I didn’t come because he was home all that while.

So I asked someone in the neighborhood to monitor him for real—when he came home and when he left. One day, the person came with a report that he had seen where my husband goes. “He goes to a lady’s house. The lady is heavily pregnant.”

I told my mom I wanted to go back home to take care of myself because another woman was in the picture. My mom said, “You going back won’t change anything. You’ll only stress yourself.” My dad supported her, but I wasn’t going to sit down and do nothing.

So I followed my informant and located the place. It’s a town away from us but not too far—about a thirty-minute drive. Guess who I saw? He was with his ex, the lady he left for me, and she was heavily pregnant.

They were dating when the lady had the chance to travel abroad to study. She stopped calling after a few months. The next thing he knew, she had gotten pregnant for a white man. I was dating him when this lady gave birth to her second child with the white man.

I don’t know when she came back to Ghana, but somehow she had reconnected with my husband, and they were building their own family. I was shocked to find them together that evening, but the lady got up and went into the bedroom, leaving the two of us there.

I asked, “So she’s the reason you were pushing me away? Was that your plan all along? Why didn’t you tell me you wanted her so we could break up? Fine—stay.”

I thought he would run after me. I thought he would call and apologize. None of that happened for days. I was broken while I fed my baby with sour breast milk. We waited and waited for an explanation. It came weeks later. He said, “I’m sorry I put you through all that, but if you think you can’t continue with the marriage, that is also fine. I will understand.”

I shook my head. My dad asked if that was all. My mom nearly insulted him. I said nothing for weeks until I decided I wouldn’t go on with the marriage. The divorce happened quickly so he could go ahead and marry his ex.

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

His ex gave birth and went back abroad and has not come back. Maybe he thought she was his ticket abroad since she is a U.S. citizen. She left the child with him and never looked back. He is now taking care of that child and mine. We’ve been to court when he tried to default on payments. I’m not giving him any space—not out of spite, but because he has to do what a man has to do.

Some days he tells me, “Don’t you have a little bit of empathy for me?” I smile and respond, “You don’t need sympathy. You only need to pay what you have to pay.”

—Daniella

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Pushed, Out, Pregnant, Could, With, His, Pregnant", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/2450.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-pushed-me-out-pregnant-so-he-could-be-with-his-pregnant-ex/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-28 04:04:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "183899", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Borrowed Money to Save a Friend, Now I Might Pay With My Life", "title_slug": "i-borrowed-money-to-save-a-friend-now-i-might-pay-with-my-life", "title_hash": "8ad0afd9c47b87cc369b75df0f1a4cf9", "summary": "He said the first person who came to mind when he entered trouble was me, because it was my name on his mind the entire time. He needed money to …", "content": "

He said the first person who came to mind when he entered trouble was me, because it was my name on his mind the entire time. He needed money to add up to what he had to spend as settlement to the family for taking their property without proper permission. He was speaking in parables, winding up and down. He then came to explain.

He had actually impregnated a lady, and the family was a no-nonsense type, so they wanted to lock this my friend up. He was fined 10,000 cedis, and he could gather some amount, but it was not enough. I screamed, “My guy, were you having unprotected sex when you don’t have money?”

He playfully brushed it off. He came to me to help him gather money. I was disappointed in myself that I could not help. I had just finished paying my fees, got a new laptop, and changed my wardrobe for the semester. I had nothing on me.

Before we ended the call, he said, “Bro, abeg, help me find something for me, I can’t sleep.”

I understood very well. His mother was not well, and he was the one supporting her, with all the bills that came with it. I understood the pressure on him. He said her family was not accepting pleas or anything. It was either he brought the money or they would go after him.

I even wondered, ah, because of one pregnancy? Was the lady a princess? But I understood their frustration to an extent. The way boys and men are leaving women to carry children alone these days, maybe they wanted to make him an example

Every morning and evening, I called to check up on his progress. Every time, it was the same old tale, nothing. When push came to shove, I went to one of the loan sharks for money. He is a friend of mine. My friend said he would pay in, give or take, a month. He would be able to source the money.

I relayed the information to the loan shark. He said he could work with it. I collected the money and sent it to my friend. The next day, he called to say thank you and said that he had a good night’s sleep after that. We even had a good laugh about the child and how we needed to reap harvest from the child who was on its way.

A month passed, and my friend was not picking up his calls. When he picked up, he came up with excuses. He was buying baby food, clothes, this and that. His excuses never ran out. The loan shark was on my neck for his money plus his interest. The loan shark is my friend, but when it was time for money, he said, “Money does not know friend.”

I secured the loan to help this my friend, and now the person I owe has been calling me day in and day out. I have always tried to calm him down, but he has lost his temper now and has given me one week to pay the remaining money, else I should prepare to pay with my life. I am not even working to get money to pay, so how does he expect me to pay?

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

The friend I took the money to help is not responding to my calls anymore, and I am really frustrated. My world is going to end very soon. I do not know what to do, because the guy I am owing, after hanging up the last call of threat, has not been answering my calls again, which means he means what he said. If I should die because of something I did with good intention, that is cool, but I want you to share my experience so others can learn not to always go beyond for people. Help if you can, but going beyond your limit might not end well.

I will scrape by here and there to gather the money and pay, but ultimately, I have learned my lesson.

—Enoch

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Borrowed, Money, Save, Friend, Now, Might, Pay, With, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/nigerian-man-counting-money-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-took-a-loan-for-my-friends-pregnant-baby-mama-and-he-disappeared/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-28 04:04:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "183898", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mom Hates Me And Hates My Wife Because of How I Live With My Wife", "title_slug": "my-mom-hates-me-and-hates-my-wife-because-of-how-i-live-with-my-wife", "title_hash": "7ad2b8ee0d5e2407c56077823a6e1057", "summary": "My mom doesn’t talk to my wife—actually, she hates her. She hates me too and calls me an embarrassment to my late father. I send her money every month. I …", "content": "

My mom doesn’t talk to my wife—actually, she hates her. She hates me too and calls me an embarrassment to my late father. I send her money every month. I do my bit as her eldest child, but nothing I do makes her want to accord me any respect. She respects my younger siblings, both women. She visits them and talks bitterly about me and my marriage, as if I’m the worst thing to ever happen.

It started when she visited me after I had been married for almost two years. When I met my wife, she had her life figured out. She had a good job, had a car, and was living in a bigger rented apartment than mine. After marriage, we decided that I would move into her apartment. Her landlord was super cool and very respectful, another reason it was a good idea to move in with her so we wouldn’t lose a good apartment and a good landlord.

Just a few days after my mom visited, she called me aside and whispered, “Herh, what’s happening? Is it because you’re living in her house that she’s treating you like that? Who’s the man, you or her?”

Her question caught me off guard, so I asked what the problem was. My mom dramatically lifted both hands into the air and said, “God save me, my son doesn’t even know there’s a problem with the way his wife treats him.” She stamped her foot twice and said, “Wake up from your slumber. If you’re sleeping, wake up and act like a man. Don’t let a woman treat you like a houseboy in your own marriage.”

She saw me helping my wife in the kitchen. When the tap stopped flowing, I was the one who took a bucket and stepped out to fetch water and carry it home. When my wife did the laundry, I took the clothes off the line and folded them. In my house and marriage, we do these things together all the time. We are only two people here, why should one person do everything while the other watches?

My mom said, “She’s treating you this way because you’re living in her house. Leave and find your own place and bring her along. She’ll stop disrespecting you.” I laughed, maybe too hard, but I was surprised she was surprised about how I was helping my wife. I told her, “Mom, she’s not the one making me do it. It’s just common sense that I do it with her because we are the only people in this house.”

The next morning, I was scrubbing the toilet, not knowing my mom was behind me watching. When I turned and met her eyes, with a sad face she said, “Aw, I gave birth to you just to waste my womb. You’re my only son, your father’s favorite, how come? How did we get here? No wonder she’s not giving birth for you. She’s the man and you’re the woman. Tell me, when are you going to carry the pregnancy too?”

Honestly, I got angry. My wife could hear her talk, and that hurt me deeply. That day, I decided I would never allow her into my house again. I didn’t tell her that, but I knew I would do everything not to welcome her again. My wife told me, “She’s right in her own way. She belongs to a different era. She won’t understand you no matter what. The best thing is to stop doing these things when she’s around.”

My mom left, and without my knowing, she had also decided not to come to my place again. Instead, she spread the story to my younger sisters, who are also married. She told them my wife uses me like a doormat and that my wife has no respect for me. They know my wife and had experienced her, so they were surprised.

When they called and I explained everything, they both said, “Is that all? Ah, Mom paa.”

But still, she is my mother, so I send her money every month and call often to ask about her health. Her responses are always short and dismissive. We went home for a cousin’s wedding, and my mom didn’t shake my wife’s hand when my wife extended it. To avoid embarrassment, my wife hugged her instead. I could see the expressions on my aunts’ and other relatives’ faces, they were quietly judging my wife because my mom had already told them her version of the story.

One even boldly told me they were praying for me. After the event, before I left, my mom said, “You see this big house? Since your dad died, I’ve been living here all alone. If your marriage isn’t working, have the sense to come back home. Don’t let your wife use you like tissue paper.”

I was very frank that day, almost to the point of warning her. “Leave my marriage alone. I’m not a child. I know what’s right for me. What’s all this?”

She opened her mouth wide, hit it with her fingers, and screamed, “Hooooh, okotobonku! When are you going to realize she’s making a fool out of you?”

That was the last straw for me. I decided to cut her off and live my life. I can love her from afar. I still send her monthly allowance, but I don’t call her anymore so she doesn’t get the chance to disrespect me. When I stopped calling, she told my younger sister that she wished it was my sisters who had the money I have so she wouldn’t have to take anything from me.

It still didn’t make me stop sending her money. I haven’t spoken to her in almost a year. She usually calls on my birthday, but last month she didn’t. It was fine with me, but my wife is worried. She says I shouldn’t allow this to separate me from my mom. But the truth is, I can’t keep being around someone who constantly disrespects me.

I also think this distance is healthy for both of us. She doesn’t have to see things that upset her, and I don’t have to endure her disrespect. She has lived her life and enjoyed it, especially when my dad was alive. She only has good things to say about him. You should see how she glows when she talks about their life together.

I want the same for me and my wife. One day, when I’m gone, I want my wife to glow when she talks about the life we shared. I want to have that same feeling when I think about her.

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

What my mom doesn’t understand is that people can have happy marriages in different ways. She wants it her way—she wants my wife to serve the way she served. She wants my wife to be like her to qualify as a virtuous wife. But times are not the same, and it hurts me that my mom doesn’t understand this simple truth.

—Danny

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I was looking for a place to stay, and he offered to pay my rent. I wanted to know why, and he said he wanted to do it because he liked me. He paid a one-year rent for me. Later, it turned into a relationship.

Before we started dating, he told me he had gotten another woman pregnant by mistake and wanted me to know before anything serious started between us. I felt he was being truthful by laying all his cards on the table. I didn’t like the idea, but his honesty made me say yes to him nonetheless.

He was always with me at my place and didn’t want to take me to his. It was one excuse after the other. Either his mother was living with him and he didn’t want to complicate things because of the other lady who was pregnant, or he wasn’t too sure about one or two things.

But one day, he took me home after I had stressed him over and over again. He said, “You see, there’s nothing to hide around here. You just have to believe me that I live alone.”

Then a pregnant woman entered, screaming, “So you have the guts to bring another woman into the house? What do you take me for? You think you can get away with it?”

Then this pregnant lady charged toward me to attack me. He jumped between us and pulled me away while the pregnant woman swung her hands, trying to hit me. He locked me up in the bedroom and went out to deal with her.

For several minutes, I could hear them arguing. The woman was loud, asking, “Who is she? Why are you bringing her home when you know I’m still pregnant for you?” He responded, “You know my stand, and I thought we both agreed that it won’t work between us.” She screamed, “I’m pregnant for you, Roland! I’m pregnant for you!”

Late in the night, he drove me back to my place. We sat quietly as he drove until he asked, “I hope this won’t change anything.”

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

I couldn’t give him an answer. I was conflicted. This is another woman we are talking about. It could have been me who was pregnant, and it could have been him bringing another woman into his house while I lived not too far away and could see everything.

I wish things were easier than this, but I’m going to ask you the same question he asked me: if you were in my shoes, would this change anything for you?

—Esi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My husband met me when I was young. I was 19. I knew that I loved him, and I believed our love would survive the test of time. And it did. Wherever he went, I went with him. We barely gave each other breathing space. I roamed with him and returned late at night, and no one scolded me. That was the kind of home I was raised in, careless in its own quiet way. My mother never sat me down to speak to me about life, and my father was barely around. He came at night and vanished before sunrise like the moon fading from the sky. The only advice my mother ever drummed into my ears was, “Don’t get pregnant. Otherwise, you will tie one wrapper for the rest of your life.” She said nothing about love, nothing about survival. I learnt it from friends, from the streets.

I was still young when he was about to move. I did not want him to go. I did not think I would survive the distance. I did not think my heart would survive it. So one night, I slipped into the dark, walked to his house, and relocated with him. No one knew my plan. No one knew where I was going. It felt like that declaration in the Bible, wherever you go, I will go. I believed it with everything in me. Wherever he had to be, I would be there.

I became his wife. We had two children. Then one day, he packed his bags and left for abroad in search of greener pastures. This time, I wished I could follow him too, but how? So I held on to the love we had shared for years and trusted that he would not break it.

For eight years, he stayed there. For eight years, our love stretched across the distance and survived the miles. He called every day, sent money home, and made sure we lacked nothing.

Then he passed away. That call I received will forever remain the saddest call of my life. The voice on the other end said, “We have very sad news to share. We are sorry to announce…” and everything after that dissolved into silence. I groaned in pain.

Because he had no proper documents, we received nothing after his death. Not a single support. He left us with responsibilities, heavy ones that bent my shoulders and made me feel small.

While he was alive, he was the man of the house. He provided for everything, even the smallest things like the underwear I wore, down to my pads. All I had to do was ask, though even that was rare. He would say, “You are the queen of my heart. Do the housekeeping. Let me do the hard work.” Anytime I tried to do something for myself, he refused. He wanted me to stay home and take care of the children. It was important, yes, but I wanted more. I wanted to work. I wanted to have something of my own. I knew, even then, how necessary it is for a woman to stand on her own in case life takes an unexpected turn.

After his death, everything became difficult.

My first son was about to write his WASSCE. It was not easy for him, but by God’s grace, he completed and gained admission to the University of Ghana, Legon.

Our youngest son also completed JHS last year with good grades. He was placed in a village day school, a place I am not familiar with. I tried to change it, but the alternative was still very far from where we live.

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Right now, life is hard. We are barely scraping by, but we have God. Before the day ends, He puts food on our table. I am writing this with tears, not because of myself, but because of my children. I am deeply worried about their future, about what will happen from here. I am troubled by the trouble I find myself in. I am heavy with anger at myself.

So, if and when you read this, please learn from my story. We are all different, and life may not treat you the same way it has treated me. But be wise. Do not depend entirely on a man. If you choose to stay at home, make sure you are supported in a way that allows you to save or build something for yourself. If not, find something to do so you can stand on your own if life changes suddenly.

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

When a man tells you to be a stay-at-home wife, ask for support. Ask for security. Ask for something that will stand even if he is no longer there. You do not know when death will come. You do not know when life will turn and the chair you are sitting on will be pulled from under you.

Do something. Be something.

—Betty

#SB<>

", "keywords": "This, What, Happens, When, You, Build, Your, World, Around, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/stress-headache-black-woman-office-night-with-finance-report-deadline-client-burnout-migraine-african-female-financial-manager-with-exhaustion-investment-proposal-mistake-1-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/this-is-what-happens-when-you-build-your-world-around-a-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-28 04:04:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "183591", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Culture of Silence Around Abortions for Active-Duty Military Intensifies, Researchers Say", "title_slug": "culture-of-silence-around-abortions-for-active-duty-military-intensifies-researchers-say", "title_hash": "c7cd9ee823bfb7545952c7d63f0ca26a", "summary": "A recent study about access for servicewomen couldn’t be completed because only 3 people agreed to participate.\nThe post Culture of Silence Around Abortions for Active-Duty Military Intensifies, Researchers Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Researcher Caitlin Gerdts planned to release a new study about abortion access for active-duty military service members, much like the one in 2019 that was published with input from 323 participants.

\n\n\n\n

But over a six-month period in 2024, in a new legal environment for abortion access, the research team was only able to find three service members who agreed to participate, even though their identities would be kept secret. With that few people, a study couldn’t be completed, and the group published an analytical essay instead.

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“It makes sense that this is a particularly difficult moment,” said Gerdts, vice president for research at international nonprofit Ibis Reproductive Health.

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Researchers say it’s important to understand what kinds of barriers active-duty service members are facing when living in any state—especially in states with strict abortion bans. But those who spoke with Stateline said it is becoming increasingly difficult to access that population because of chilling effects around state laws, the actions of the U.S. Department of Defense under its current leadership, and factors specific to the military that existed long before federal abortion protections were overturned.

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The Department of Defense did not respond to Stateline’s request for comment before publication.

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In many cases, research on abortion generally focuses on providers, especially with studies that involve interviews. But among organizations that talk often with civilian patients—including Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Francisco—researchers told Stateline they haven’t experienced the same problems with recruitment that Gerdts described, suggesting the issue is specific to the military.

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As of 2021, there were more than 230,000 women in active-duty roles in the U.S. military, according to the U.S. Department of Defense, and 95 percent are of reproductive age, between 18 and 44. The RAND Corporation found in 2022 that about 40 percent of women on active duty are in states with severely limited access to abortion or no access at all, including military-heavy states such as Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, and Texas.

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Kristen Jozkowski, senior scientist at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, said not being able to gather data from a specific population can make it more difficult to help them.

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“As a researcher and behavioral scientist, I think it is an issue when we cannot get access to any population, particularly ones who may be unique or at increased risk of something,” Jozkowski said. “It limits our ability to grow knowledge as a society and make empirically informed decisions and recommendations.”

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Change in policy

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After Department of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth assumed office in January 2025, one of the first directives his department issued rescinded a 2-year-old policy that allowed service members to seek abortion care no matter where they are stationed without having to use one of the 30 days of leave they are entitled to each year. It also had allowed members and their dependents to be reimbursed for related travel expenses such as transportation, lodging, and meals.

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That policy took effect shortly after the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2022 Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision, under Democratic President Joe Biden. Over a period of seven months from June through December 2023, it was used 12 times, and cost about $40,000 for out-of-state travel, The Associated Press reported, citing data from the Pentagon.

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Under the military’s TRICARE insurance, abortion itself has only ever been covered if the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest, or if it’s necessary to save the pregnant patient’s life. But the current policy also doesn’t allow out-of-state travel, related expenses, or special leave.

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More recently, the Trump administration has changed policies affecting military veterans.

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In December, the U.S. Department of Justice officially rescinded a 2022 policy that allowed the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs to provide abortions and related counseling, permitting them only in instances when the pregnant patient’s life is at risk. Estimates from the nonprofit National Partnership for Women & Families, which supports abortion access, showed that as of June 2023, nearly 400,000 women veterans lived in states that had already banned abortion or were likely to ban it.

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Scant research

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The topic of abortion related to active-duty servicewomen is chronically understudied, said researcher and U.S. Army veteran Caitlin Russell. A review of existing studies between 1991 and 2022 that Russell recently completed found that in those three decades, there were 15 studies or policy papers specifically focused on that subject.

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“I think even folks who are more sympathetic or evidence-based about protecting service members don’t realize the scope of the issue,” said Russell, researcher and track director for a nurse practitioner program at the University of Pennsylvania.

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During her time in service, Russell said, she was unaware of what the military’s policies around abortion were. In the years since, she has talked to dozens of military health care providers, leaders ,and personnel who also don’t know the existing policies. She helped create a website called Camo Care with information from military sources to help bridge that gap.

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As a veteran, Russell has been successful in finding participants for previous studies, but she said she has struggled more lately, in part because of limitations by social media companies. Russell paid for an advertisement to run on Facebook and Instagram in late 2024 seeking active-duty participants, and it was rejected because of a policy against ads about social issues, she said.

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Russell said the lack of engagement from military members makes sense given its culture of silence and discouragement around women’s issues in general. She served in the Army from 2006 to 2013, including a year and a half as a company commander at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and during two deployments to Afghanistan. Russell said the culture treated women like they were weak for things such as menstrual pain.

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“When I was at Bragg, you didn’t even talk about your period, let alone an abortion,” she said.

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That rings true for Joanna Sweatt, a former Marine Corps member who learned she was pregnant with a fourth child in 2002 while stationed in California, despite using contraception. She knew she would be deployed to Iraq soon, and couldn’t afford another child.

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She learned she was pregnant through a routine test at an on-base medical station largely staffed by nurses, after she told them she wasn’t feeling well. The possibility hadn’t crossed her mind when it came back positive, but she knew right then what her decision would be.

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“I was like, ‘I have to have an abortion.’ And I recall saying that out loud, and the person telling me, ‘Well, we can’t help you at all. That’s something you have to do on your own.’ And that was just it,” Sweatt said.

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Sweatt did her own research to find a clinic, and the only appointment she could get was on a Thursday, which meant she needed to ask for leave. That meant she had to detail the reason why she needed to take time off, where she would be, and how many miles away it was from the base, and she had to get the request approved. And after that, she said, it became part of the gossip on base that she’d had an abortion.

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“Your life is public once you join the service, basically,” Sweatt said.

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Sweatt is now the national organizing director for Common Defense, a veteran-led progressive advocacy organization, and said events that have been happening nationally can feel chilling for military members who work under strict chains of command that expect deference. She referred to the Trump administration deploying the National Guard to U.S. cities, to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security detaining veterans and family members of active-duty immigrants, and to recent reports that Hegseth has denied promotions to people in the military based on race and gender.

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She also cited the firing of more than a dozen senior military officers and the termination of multiple Judge Advocates General—better known as JAGs—in early 2025.

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All of those events add to a culture that was already known for retaliatory behavior, Sweatt said, and make service members unlikely to want to participate in any activities that might put a target on their back, even an anonymous survey.

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Russell said when she was in the Army, she wouldn’t have trusted that information she gave out would remain private either. She assumed her phone and computer were monitored.

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“It sounds a little paranoid, but that’s just the reality that you live in,” she said.

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As part of her organizing work, Sweatt said Common Defense conducts surveys and holds community meetings at places with large bases—such as Louisiana, North Carolina, and Texas—but many people ask for some of their information to be redacted on surveys, including their base. And at community events, including online Zoom meetings, some military members are sending a family member in their place to ask questions on their behalf.

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“They are being very careful as to who they engage with,” she said.

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This story was originally reported by Kelcie Moseley-Morris for Stateline. Stateline is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Stateline maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Scott S. Greenberger for questions: info@stateline.org.

The post Culture of Silence Around Abortions for Active-Duty Military Intensifies, Researchers Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Culture, Silence, Around, Abortions, for, Active-Duty, Military, Intensifies, Researchers, Say", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Active-duty-military-abortions-web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/23/culture-of-silence-around-abortions-for-active-duty-military-intensifies-researchers-say/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-28 03:46:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "183592", "lang_id": "1", "title": "New Autism Drug? Experts Debunk Federal Officials’ Claims of Leucovorin As Treatment", "title_slug": "new-autism-drug-experts-debunk-federal-officials-claims-of-leucovorin-as-treatment", "title_hash": "cc12547b5a596e491fdc9acc9ea46f71", "summary": "“There is really no evidence at all that these are meaningful treatments,\" one researcher said.\nThe post New Autism Drug? Experts Debunk Federal Officials’ Claims of Leucovorin As Treatment appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

During a White House press conference on autism, Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Marty Makary shared that the agency would be filing a federal register notice to label the drug leucovorin as treatment for autism.

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“Hundreds of thousands of kids, in my opinion, will benefit,” he claimed during the Sept. 22, 2025 event.

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Shortly after Makary’s announcement, prominent physician groups, including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychiatric Association, released statements debunking his dubious claims about the drug as treatment for autism.

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“It will require many more years of research before we know if leucovorin is an appropriate treatment for individuals with autism,” the American Psychiatric Association’s same-day statement read. “Autism spectrum disorders exist on a spectrum of neurodiversity. The country must focus its resources on expanding access to care and building the evidence-base for future treatments.”

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Rewire News Group asked three autism experts what parents need to know about the risks and benefits of leucovorin.

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What is leucovorin?

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Leucovorin is folinic acid, an active form of folate (also known as B9) that doesn’t need to be broken down by enzymes to be used in the body. It is available in pill or IV form. While most individuals can obtain the folate their bodies need through beans and leafy greens, or via vitamin supplements, some cannot properly metabolize folate and need prescription medication to maintain proper cell functioning.

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Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurological and developmental disorder that is characterized by differences in social communication; restrictive, repetitive behaviors that may manifest in motor movements, speech, or interests and challenges with transitioning from one activity or setting to another; and over- or under- reactivity to sensory input.

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These characteristics occur on a spectrum, meaning that each autistic individual has different areas in which they may need support, which may include behavioral, occupational, physical, and speech language therapies, along with accommodations to help manage sensory sensitivities and other needs in daily life.

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David Mandell, a professor and the director of the Penn Center for Mental Health who conducts autism research, told RNG he was shocked by Makary’s announcement.

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“The evidence for leucovorin was the same as for hyperbaric oxygen or mega doses of vitamin D,” Mandell said. “There is really no evidence at all that these are meaningful treatments.”

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As a double board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist who treats autism, Ritu Goel was especially concerned about the confusion and doubt this announcement caused for parents of autistic children, some of whom are desperate to find anything that may help their child connect and communicate with them.

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“Every … parent now has, suddenly, this hope that, ‘Oh, I give this tablet to my child, and they will be better,’” Goel said.

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The reality is far more complicated.

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“The major reason we prescribe leucovorin to people is because they’re in cancer treatment, usually chemotherapy, and the leucovorin helps protect healthy cells,” Mandell said.

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When taken with methotrexate, which prevents folate absorption, leucovorin helps prevent side effects from cancer treatment such as acute kidney injury or failure, and pulmonary toxicity, which can result when methotrexate destroys healthy cells as well as cancer cells. For cancers such as colorectal cancer, leucovorin can be added to a chemotherapy drug to enhance its ability to destroy cancer cells.

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In March 2026, the FDA approved the new labeling of leucovorin (previously labeled for use in cancer treatment and for certain anemias) as treatment for a rare disease called cerebral folate deficiency, which has less than 50 cases documented in medical literature.

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Patients with cerebral folate deficiency can’t metabolize folate, Mandell said.

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“They have symptoms that mirror those of autism,” he said.

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Some research on cerebral folate deficiency has claimed improvement in “autistic behaviors,” such as communication differences and irritability after taking folinic acid.

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But people with the deficiency can “also have severe epilepsy, lots of developmental regression,” Mandell added.

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Despite Makary’s September announcement, autism was not added to the FDA’s list of approved uses for leucovorin.

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Leucovorin and autism: the science

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Alycia Halladay, a biopsychologist who serves as the chief science officer of the Autism Science Foundation, said that the FDA’s September announcement felt concerning because the research on leucovorin as treatment for autism to date has been done outside the FDA clinical trial process. Those trials are how the agency typically determines a medication’s safety and efficacy, appropriate dosages, potential side effects, and adverse reactions linked to the medication.

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“[It meant] there was going to be no regulatory oversight, there was going to be no scientific review, that someone in the high ranks of the FDA had decided that this was going to be approved, and there was not going to be a process to evaluate it,” Halladay said.

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The evidence produced by this research linking leucovorin and improvements in autistic children is also weak, she added.

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The present discussion about autism and leucovorin originated from a 2005 study of 28 pediatric patients with cerebral folate deficiency. Folate-blocking autoantibodies were identified in most of these patients, and further studies determined up to 75.3 percent of the autistic children studied had these antibodies.

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Continued research included trials that seemed to indicate improvement in verbal communication after taking leucovorin.

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Mandell, too, identified several issues with the few trials published, including that they used small sample sizes. To test “medications that we give regularly to people” in the general population, he said, best practice would be to “have hundreds of people in each group.” The differences recorded in those taking leucovorin were unlikely to be statistically significant, Mandell added. Additionally, he said, the researchers relied heavily on measures of folate antibodies that he said don’t indicate folate deficiencies.

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Mandell, Halladay, and Goel all referenced the same highly scrutinized, now retracted, 2024 study often used to support a link between leucovorin and autism treatment. With 77 children studied, it was one of a handful of randomized clinical trials that have been completed to date. Just over a year later—and four months after Makary’s announcement—it was retracted due to data and statistical errors.

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For the experts RNG spoke to, the study’s retraction solidified the concern that the data resulting from research on the drug’s use for autistic children is not solid.

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“You have this drug that maybe made tiny improvements in a couple of studies but had not really been consistent,” Halladay said. “Some studies looked at language, another study looked at challenging behavior. So there wasn’t consistency there—it wasn’t reproduced, and there was no safety data.”

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How does leucovorin work?

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While using leucovorin for autistic patients has only recently received widespread attention in the nation’s capital, it has been prescribed off-label for more than a decade.

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Goel shared three cases in which she prescribed leucovorin to autistic children determined to have folate receptor autoantibodies, which some scientists believe prevent folate from crossing the blood-brain barrier.

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Two of the three children showed improvements in language after several months. In one case, she said, an autistic 6-year-old “responded with some language, a couple of words, phrases, and easier transitions.”

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“Some … might now start using a few more words … Maybe [be] more interested in making their needs known,” Goel added. “So, some language, that’s where we see the difference. But it is not a drastic change.”

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Goel also said that the children were also undergoing other therapies that might have contributed to their improvement, like intensive early intervention and speech therapy.

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Does leucovorin have side effects?

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Using the medication is not without risk, experts said.

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Leucovorin can cause side effects, including irritability and GI issues including diarrhea. Goel said this can be especially challenging for autistic children, who are very sensitive to side effects and often are already dealing with gut issues and restrictive diets.

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Doctors still know little about whether the drug is safe for children, Mandell added.

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“We have no data on what the medium or long-term safety profile of leucovorin in children is,” Mandell said. “[And] now we’re talking about giving this drug to children indefinitely, starting at a very young age.”

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Mandell, along with Halladay and Goel, also referenced the dangers of parents purchasing folinic acid supplements, which are not FDA-regulated and may contain potentially harmful ingredients.

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Goel said parents should always consult with their child’s doctor before using supplements because of possible interactions and side effects.

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“I can’t say enough that our children who are on [the] spectrum, their brains are very sensitive to the side effects,” Goel said.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Why is the MAHA movement interested in leucovorin?

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Mandell and Halladay said that the September announcement may have been Health and Human Services Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. delivering on his April 2025 promise that by September of the same year, HHS would “know what has caused the autism epidemic, and [will] be able to eliminate those exposures.”

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Many in the autism community were offended by Trump administration officials’ consistent framing of autism as a disease that needs a cure, rather than a neurotype and developmental disorder.

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“We are horrified by comments that call for ‘ending’ autism, a crude, yet plain, endorsement of eugenics demonstrating a callous lack of understanding of what autism is,” the nonprofit group Autism Self Advocacy Network said in a statement following the FDA announcement. “Autism is a natural part of human diversity. Autistic people usually enjoy a good quality of life when we have the supports we need.”

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But Kennedy’s background as a lawyer means that he approaches problems by looking for evidence that will prove his hypothesis and discarding any data that disproves it, rather than employing the scientific method, Mandell said.

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While autism has been a particular target of this administration, including repeated claims connecting vaccines and acetaminophen to autism, both of which have decades of scientific research proving the contrary, Halladay said the current administration has seemed intent on undermining the scientific method and “dismantling trust in science.”

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This has included budget cuts and criticisms leveled at federal health institutions such as the CDC, and placing blame on vaccines, environmental toxins, and processed foods for chronic conditions while making policy changes that widen health disparities.

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Impact of the FDA’s leucovorin announcement

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Beyond contributing to what many scientists view as the Trump administration’s undermining of trust in their work, the leucovorin announcement appears to already be impacting autistic children and their families—and the clinicians who care for them.

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In March 2026, the Lancet released a study reporting a 71 percent increase in outpatient prescriptions for leucovorin for patients aged 5 to 17 between Sept. 22 and Dec. 7, 2025.

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Halladay said she has spoken to clinicians who have been flooded with requests for leucovorin.

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“For every conversation that they have with [a] family about this, it’s 10 to 15 minutes away from another patient,” she said.

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Goel worries that parents may now forego other evidence-based treatments, either because they believe that leucovorin will help their child or because they’re spending their limited financial resources on the medication.

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“It is a complementary treatment,” Goel said. “It is not a replacement for speech therapy, behavioral therapy, education intervention. … They do need those early interventions, and they make a difference.”

The post New Autism Drug? Experts Debunk Federal Officials’ Claims of Leucovorin As Treatment appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In December 2025, the Food and Drug Administration added a warning to the label of the birth control shot Depo-Provera about a potential increased risk of meningioma, a tumor that starts in the thin layer of tissue covering the brain and spinal cord.

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The decision followed a lawsuit by more than 1,000 women against Pfizer, which claimed the manufacturer knew these risks and failed to warn consumers.

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Most meningiomas—up to 85 percent—are not cancerous. Some are small and symptomless, and just need careful monitoring; others require surgery to remove. Still, nobody wants a brain tumor, even if it’s benign. So the label change made headlines, and prompted alarmist posts on social media about the dangers of Depo.

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I was instantly suspicious of these stories.

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Misinformation about birth control runs rampant online, and influencers don’t often deliver nuanced messages about sexual health. My Google searches on Depo and brain tumors brought up tons of law firms with information about this link—but they were all soliciting new plaintiffs, presumably looking to make money off lawsuits.

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For the first time in my professional life, I also wasn’t sure I could trust the FDA because of the Trump administration’s anti-science and anti-contraception bent.

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So I dug into the research and gut-checked my findings with an expert.

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Depo-Provera has pros and cons

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Joely Pritzker is a family nurse practitioner and the senior director of health care at Power to Decide, a non-partisan, non-profit organization that provides information about contraception to both individuals and providers. Pritzker helps people make contraceptive decisions all the time.

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She pointed out that the FDA added this warning to the packaging information that comes with Depo-Provera in the same way that the IUD packaging mentions ectopic pregnancy as a rare but possible side effect.

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“That’s not a reason why someone wouldn’t choose [an IUD],” Pritzker said. “It’s a reason to be doing better counseling around what people should be aware of if they’re using that method.”

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The same should be true of this new information about Depo.

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All hormonal contraceptive methods essentially work the same way: They block ovulation and thicken cervical mucus. Without ovulation, there’s no egg to fertilize, so you can’t get pregnant. Thicker cervical mucus acts as extra protection by keeping sperm from getting into the reproductive tract.

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Picking the “best” birth control is really about choosing the kind that works best for you, as an individual. The pill may be right for someone who is good at remembering it every day; someone else might prefer the ring because they only have to change it once a month. With the birth control shot, you only have to think about it four times a year.

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Depo-Provera—which is the brand name for the medroxyprogesterone acetate injection—has other positives, too. It’s 96 to 99 percent effective—a little higher than the pill—and after about a year of use, about half to a majority of users get their period less often or not at all.

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There are also some negatives to Depo, including weight gain and irregular or heavy bleeding. Once you get the shot, it is effective for 12 weeks—and you’d just have to deal with the side effects of the injection during that period. This isn’t true of, say, the pill, which you can stop taking at any time.

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Also, Depo-Provera can stay in your system for up to 10 months, so it takes your fertility longer to rebound after you go off it. And long-term use (over two years) has also been linked to a loss in bone density that can increase the risk of osteoporosis, though the loss was reversible in most users when they stopped using Depo.

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What does recent research show?

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The birth control shot is not a commonly used form of contraception: Only 2 percent of people who use birth control take Depo-Provera, according to the latest available federal data. Two recent studies suggest that they may have an increased risk of developing meningiomas.

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The first was published in the British Journal of Medicine (BMJ) in 2024. It compared the health histories of women who needed surgery to treat meningiomas to a control group of women without meningioma. The researchers determined that women who had taken Depo-Provera for more than one year were at greater risk of developing meningiomas.

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No such “excess risk” was found for any of the other birth control methods used by the patients studied.

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The second study, published in 2025 in the medical journal JAMA Neurology, analyzed health records of more than 61 million women in the United States. It found that women who used Depo-Provera were more likely to develop meningioma compared to those who had never used the drug. The excess risk was most common in women who had taken the medication for more than four years and in those who had started it after age 31.

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These studies spurred the FDA to add a warning to the label. But a consumer advisory doesn’t necessarily mean everyone should stop using Depo-Provera.

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The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists advised health-care providers that “it is important to interpret the results of this study with caution,” citing the limitations of the research.

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To correctly interpret research, you must remember two lessons you probably learned in a high school science or statistics class.

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First, correlation is not causation. Observational studies like these can tell us that one thing is related to another, but they can’t tell us that one thing caused the other. For example, more flowers grow after the snow melts. But their buds aren’t the reason the snow melted.

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Second, relative risk is different than absolute risk. These studies tell us about relative risk, meaning they tell us who is more likely to get a certain disease. Between my next-door neighbor and me, he is statistically more likely to get colon cancer, because he’s older and male. But that doesn’t mean he will get colon cancer, and it doesn’t mean I won’t.

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In these studies, the researchers concluded that people on Depo-Provera have a higher risk of meningioma compared to people who haven’t taken it. Even so, the absolute risk—the real possibility that this happens to any one person—remains quite small. Think about it this way: Buying two Mega Millions lottery tickets might double your “risk” of winning, but you still just have a 2 in 300 million chance of hitting the jackpot.

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Only nine women in the BMJ study who needed surgery for meningioma were Depo-Provera users. Based on this, the researchers concluded that 5 out of 10,000 women using the shot may possibly develop meningioma compared to 1 out of 10,000 women who didn’t use the medication.

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This sounds really bad—especially if you say “five times the risk”—but it’s still a rare side effect.

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An expert assesses the data

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According to Power to Decide, there were 23 videos posted to TikTok and YouTube between mid-February and mid-March 2026 about Depo-Provera and brain tumors. Together, these videos have gotten a combined 11 million views.

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This statistic shows that patients have questions, but it also makes me worry that they’re getting the wrong information.

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As a sex educator who writes about contraception frequently, the new information about Depo-Provera presents a challenge: how to incorporate the risk of meningiomas when I talk about the birth control shot in a way that doesn’t unintentionally play into the broader, unscientific “birth control is dangerous” rhetoric.

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Pritzker, the nurse practitioner, told me that choosing a method is very personal and people make very different risk/benefit assessments.

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Some people love their Depo because it helps reduce the pain of endometriosis by suppressing their period. Among those patients, people who are not entirely risk averse might decide that a 5 out of 10,000 chance of a likely non-lethal brain tumor is a number they can live with, given the alternative of excruciating menstruation.

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Someone else might hear the words “brain tumor” and opt for a pack of pills instead.

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I’m risk averse, so my instinct might be to steer people toward other hormonal birth control that doesn’t increase the risk of meningioma. But it isn’t the role of a health-care provider or contraceptive counselor to tell people what to do, Pritzker said.

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“Informed consent doesn’t always mean that people pick exactly what you think they should pick,” she said. “It means that you lay out the options in a way that makes sense for them, and then let them decide what’s right for them.”

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In a media climate rife with misinformation and outright lies, nuanced discussions about novel research can be hard to have. You’re competing against influencers who draw sweeping conclusions from their own personal experience or issue orders like “tell your friends to get the f**k off of Depo.” In this case, you’re also competing against lawyers with something to gain.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Patients deserve honest answers

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Misinformation about birth control is flourishing right now because of the reach of social media, and some of these falsehoods could be seeded by organizations with anti-contraception and anti-abortion views.

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But it is understandable that people are primed to believe it. This country has a deep history of medical racism, coercive population control, and reproductive abuse. Pritzker said providers need to address patients’ concerns about birth control honestly—and not simply dismiss people when they cite TikTok or “the internet” as their information source.

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“That doesn’t do anything to build trust,” she said.

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Pritzker would advise clinicians to start from a positive place, saying something like, “I’m so glad you asked that, it’s something we’ve been hearing a lot lately.”

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Providers must also fight the temptation to avoid talking about potentially negative information, Pritzker said, because honesty is how we develop credibility.

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That applies to sex educators, too. I’m not your mother and I’m not your doctor, but I hope that I can explain new sexual health research in simple, honest ways—without hype, drama,or politics—that can help you make genuinely informed decisions about your health.

The post Does Depo-Provera Cause Brain Tumors? How To Read the Research appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Building on prior progress in addressing maternal health-care disparities and increasing support for new parents, Virginia Gov. Abigail Spanberger signed a slate of bills that have been part of the ongoing “Momnibus” package on April 22, 2026.

The move came just ahead of an annual Virginia March for Life rally around Capitol Square, where more than a thousand exhibited their support for anti-abortion legislation.

Both events tee up a reproductive rights fight later in the year as Virginians statewide can decide whether or not to enshrine abortion, contraception and fertility treatment access into the state’s constitution in November.

The new laws

As she cradled two-month-old Breydan Patterson, Spanberger signed bills to boost maternal health data collection, support mental health screenings of new parents, and remote monitoring devices for high-risk patients.

Alexis Patterson, Breydan’s mother and a doula with Birth in Color, said she was thrilled that her youngest son had the chance to be part of a historic moment.

“I’m excited to see the rest of the Momnibus bills be signed, not just as a doula, but as someone who has needed some of these services,” she said.

She said her mental health took a dip in past pregnancies and she relied on support from others to get through a rough postpartum period. Some parents experience depression during the massive hormone fluctuations of pregnancy and postpartum recovery, which one of the bills the governor signed into law was designed to address.

House Bill 1400 by Del. Magaret Franklin will now require health insurance carriers to provide coverage for maternal mental health screenings.

HB 1403, also by Franklin, renames Virginia’s Maternal Mortality Review Team as the Maternal Mortality and Severe Maternal Morbidity Review Team.

The shift represents an expansion of tasks for the cohort to include a focus on severe maternal morbidity. Like the previous team’s work, statistical data the group compiles will be made available on the Virginia Department of Health website as a public resource.

Spanberger also signed HB 1353 by Del. Laura Jane Cohen, which sets up a workgroup to explore establishing a statewide maternal health safety initiative, and HB 425 by Del. Destiny Levere Bolling. That bill directs Medicaid reimbursement to cover remote monitoring services for high-risk patients for up to a year postpartum.

Spanberger said last year’s and this year’s Momnibus legislation is a successful example of state lawmakers working together on bipartisan solutions to maternal health issues and thanked them for their work.

The March for Life

As Virginia’s governor, advocates and lawmakers celebrated the new maternal health laws inside the Patrick Henry Building Wednesday morning, about 1,000 people gathered outside for the Virginia March for Life.

Hosted with support from the Family Foundation, the annual event draws parents, children, political activists, and faith leaders from around the state. Featured speakers this year emphasized their opposition to a reproductive rights amendment that will appear on statewide ballots in November.

The proposal cleared the state legislature two years in a row and now needs voters’ final approval to pass. As the least restrictive Southern state when it comes to abortion access, approving the measure can make protections less subject to partisan turnover in the legislature, executive mansion, or federal authorities.

“Once it becomes enshrined in our constitution it becomes harder to fight,” Family Foundation president Victoria Cobb said. “We are not just fighting against something, we are fighting for something.”

Virginia’s pending amendment only advanced this far because of Democratic control of the legislature. Republicans, like several March For Life speakers, have countered that the amendment would erode parental consent laws for minors seeking the procedure and allow abortions late in pregnancy.

While the amendment does not address minors’ abilities to obtain abortions or contraception, existing state law allows minors to get contraception but prohibits them from getting any surgery, including abortions or sterilization, without approval from parents or guardians or a successful judicial grant. State lawmakers have emphasized how those state laws would still hold should the amendment pass.

Though third trimester abortions are rare, the amendment would allow limited access to them and would apply a legal structure called “strict scrutiny” for instances where challenges may arise.

Former Planned Parenthood employee Mayra Rodriguez fired up the crowd before they marched around Capitol Square. Rodriguez was fired from an Arizona clinic after lodging complaints against a particular doctor there and won a wrongful termination lawsuit. Now dubbed a “Planned Parenthood whistleblower” by the march’s organizers, she described working in the clinic as being more about profit than about health care.

Rodriquez also reflected on April 21’s redistricting referendum, which passed by narrow margins, making Virginia the latest state to redraw congressional maps ahead of this year’s midterm elections.

“What happened yesterday matters. Elections matter. Showing up to the polls matters,” she said. “So we cannot just march today, we must be ready for tomorrow.”

As congressional campaigns ramp up through the remainder of the year, so will campaigns both for and against the reproductive rights amendment.

Reproductive rights advocates Sarah Kolick and Clare Strahler came with an “abortion is healthcare” sign and marched alongside the opposing crowd. Whenever the crowd would chant “we love the babies, we love the mamas,” Kolick and Strahler would cite women who have died amid pregnancy complications in states with abortion bans.

As the demonstration concluded, organizers directed the crowd to an anti-abortion advocacy training session at the nearby Greater Richmond Convention Center following the march.

“Let’s be louder than the other side,” Rodriquez said.

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Virginia Mercury is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Virginia Mercury maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Samantha Willis for questions: info@virginiamercury.com.

The post Spanberger Signs ‘Momnibus’ Bills as Abortion Opponents Hit the Streets in Virginia March for Life appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Each week, Rewire News Group editors scour headlines nationwide—from lawsuits over abortion access to LGBTQ+ rights—to bring you the most urgent news in reproductive justice. Here’s this week’s latest.

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HHS acted “with cruelty” in targeting gender-affirming care, judge says

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A federal judge voided HHS Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s anti-trans funding policy that led an estimated 40 hospitals to halt gender-affirming care for trans youth. Nineteen states sued, arguing it’s federal overreach to deny Medicare and Medicaid money to hospitals that offer gender-affirming care to minors. “Unserious leaders are unsafe,” Judge Mustafa Kasubhai wrote in a scathing April 18 ruling siding with the plaintiffs. Kennedy, he added, showed “wanton disregard for the rule of law” and acted “with cruelty.”

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Pennsylvania court calls abortion a “fundamental right”

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A 1982 Pennsylvania law blocking Medicaid funds from being used to pay for abortion care except in cases of rape or incest violated the state’s constitution, a state appeals court ruled on April 20. In the 4-3 ruling, the majority decided that the old law constituted sex-based discrimination and said abortion is a “fundamental right.” “The state will face judicial scrutiny of its attempts to coerce reproductive choice,” Judge Matthew S. Wolf wrote in the opinion. “Those choices are the people’s, not the government’s.”

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Idaho advocates say abortion may soon be on the ballot

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Idahoans will likely see abortion rights on the ballot this year. Advocates for repealing the state’s abortion ban said last week that they had gathered 102,000 signatures—more than enough to put forward a constitutional amendment. The Reproductive Freedom and Privacy Act Initiative would allow abortion care until fetal viability (between 24 and 26 weeks of pregnancy) and later in medical emergencies. “We have a legislature that has failed to act for four sessions, so it’s time for this,” an organizer told the Idaho Statesman.

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The post Federal Judge Blocks Kennedy’s Anti-Trans Policy appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"will$ The trend of men going ‘monk mode’ – cutting off socializing to work on money & muscles – is exploding. But monk mode doesn’t lead to romantic success… quite the opposite, in fact.

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", "keywords": "Monk, Mode, Doesnt, Lead, Romantic, Success, Later., Leads, Loneliness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "27", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/monk-mode-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/monk-mode-doesnt-lead-romantic-success-later-it-leads-loneliness", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-22 02:38:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "182559", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Married Me to Prove a Point to Her Ex and Her Numerous Enemies", "title_slug": "my-wife-married-me-to-prove-a-point-to-her-ex-and-her-numerous-enemies", "title_hash": "c271bfed759bee815185d079cfd8bc94", "summary": "It looks like my wife married me just to shame her ex, some friends and some people in her family, and the more I think about this, the more I …", "content": "

It looks like my wife married me just to shame her ex, some friends and some people in her family, and the more I think about this, the more I ask myself how the future is going to be for both of us.

We got married a month ago after dating for less than a year. I met her prepared, and she told me she had no time to waste because of her age and what she had been through with her ex. She was the most helpful woman I’d come across, so I didn’t hesitate to see a wife in her. The only thing that annoyed me about her was her incessant mention of marriage, even when it was clear that we were going to get married.

She made things easier, to be honest. She came through for me financially during the wedding, to prove that she was indeed the helpmate I was looking for.

She started throwing shade with our save-the-date photos. She posted them every morning for two weeks leading up to the wedding, with captions that clearly threw shade.

“They said I was out of date, but today it is save the date.”
\n“The stone the builders refused is going to wear her wedding gown with pride.”

And then we got married. Since we got married one month ago, she has posted every photo the photographer took and has now started sharing the ones her friends took and sent to her. Each of them comes with subliminal insults meant for someone only she knows.

“They wanted me to wear black and mourn every day, but see me smiling in a snow-white dress. God is not human indeed.”
\n“It’s only God who knows why I sing praises every morning because He was with me when the enemies were laughing at me.”
\n“They watch and cry, but I see them and laugh because God is my light.”

One early morning, she was in bed typing on her phone when I said, “Araba, ɛyɛ! Let your enemies rest for just today, I beg you.”

She retorted, “Or you’re one of them? Is your body burning you? You didn’t hear them when they got me, so you won’t understand my praise.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

It’s been a month, ooo—back to back to back, her enemies are getting slaps left, right, and center every morning on her status. And I’m here thinking, after doing all this, then what? Will this marriage continue the way I anticipated it to be? Because I’ve read the stories before. Once the shades fade and the reason they got married is met, the texture changes, and the marriage becomes decrepit in their eyes. That’s my only fear because eiii.

—Collins

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******

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We dated for a year, and I got pregnant. I was thirty-three and had already seen him as my husband because he had promised me marriage in a year. When he suggested that we should get rid of it and get married properly before pregnancy, I told him, “We are getting married next year. Why don’t we do the knocking so we can keep it?”

He said his father would not agree to our union if he found out that I was pregnant. He would call me a cheap woman and would not allow him to get close to me again. I’d never been pregnant before, and I wouldn’t allow my first pregnancy to go down the drain. At my age, it wasn’t the most sensible thing to do, so I said no. The next day, he told me he was married.

“I’m married. Sorry I’m telling you this at this time, but it’s for our own good.”

Honestly, I thought he was lying to get me to do it, but he wasn’t. Both of us were strangers where we met. His family was in another town while he worked where we met.

I vowed never to date a married man, but this man made me break my vow and even made it worse by giving me a pregnancy. He promised to compensate me if I agreed to do it.

Days later, I asked him how much he was going to give me as compensation, and he said he could give me GHC5,000. I called it an insult, and he doubled it. I called it an insult again, and he said he would give me GHC10,000 and another GHC10,000 in a month’s time. I told him, “When you’re ready to pay in full, let me know.”

A few days later, he sent the money into my account and drove me to the facility to do it. On the table, while he was outside waiting for me, I told the doctor I had changed my mind. The doctor was happy for me. We talked extensively. I cried while telling him the story that had led me to his table. He asked, “Is he the one you came with?” I answered, “Yes, he’s here to ensure that I go through with it.”

He asked what I was going to do, and I told him to leave the rest to me. I waited inside for a while, long enough to convince him that I had done it. He took me home with fake assurances and apologies shrouded in smiles. When I walked into my room and he drove away, I didn’t see him again.

I called him to come and visit me. He told me he was busy and even said he was out of town visiting his family. In his mind, I had done it, and he didn’t need to stick around to care for me. I begged him to visit me. He said I had hurt him when I asked for that compensation. I said, “You can even come for the money if that’s the issue.”

I saw him two weeks later, and he came because I mentioned that he could have the money. When he came, he was all sweet and alluring, but during the weeks when he had been hard to reach, I did something. I wanted to hurt him the way he decided to hurt me. I looked for his wife online. I read about her. They had two kids, and the woman looked like someone who traveled a lot.

When I sent her a message, it took three days to get a response. I was patient. I wanted to get to the bottom of my plan. When she responded, she was very respectful to me, especially when I told her I wanted to speak to her about her husband. She gave me her number quickly and asked, “I hope he hasn’t hurt you in any way?”

I don’t know what kind of hurt she was talking about, but I called her and told her everything I’d been through with her husband, up to the point where I got pregnant. She said, “Please don’t tell me you aborted it.” I responded, “No, I didn’t. I’m still carrying his child.”

When he couldn’t find the money I was asking for, he went to his wife and asked for money to invest in a business he claimed he was running in the village. The wife said, “Do you know why I believe you? It’s the money you mentioned. He took that half from me.”

When I was calling him and begging him to come and see me, it wasn’t because he meant a lot to me or because I was desperate to see him. I wanted to see his face when I hit him at the exact place he had hit me with the news of his marriage.

He was with me, being nice and caring to get his money, when I called his wife and told him, “Someone wants to talk to you.”

He was reluctant to take the call. I was smiling. He kept asking who it was, and I told him she was someone he would be happy to talk to. When he took the phone and his wife said hello, I saw his face change. I nodded and stepped out. I needed to be at a safe distance and still listen to the conversation. He was mute throughout it all while his wife talked. I ran far away where I could see him come out but he wouldn’t see me.

Surprisingly, he was calm when he came outside looking for me and then eventually walked away. His wife called to thank me. She asked if I was ready to offer evidence when the time came. She said, “Don’t worry, he can’t do anything to you. I will protect you.”

But she didn’t call me again until weeks after I gave birth. She asked, “What did you have?” I told her. She said, “You’re not the first he has done that to. The first one got rid of it and later became bitter and made me aware. You’re a strong woman for keeping it.”

She asked if I had seen him, and I told her he hadn’t come around again since that day. She said, “We haven’t been together again since that day too. We are divorcing. Don’t be surprised if he comes back to ask for favors from you because he’s going to lose everything.”

Me? What do I have?

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

My child is three now. If you ask me to tell you a sad story, I will tell you how I came to get pregnant by a married man. If you ask me to tell you a happy story, I will tell you about my child and the joy he brings to my life. I’ve learned more from life while being a mother. I know I’m stronger than I ever thought, and I know, come rain or shine, I can take care of him all by myself and put him in a better place.

—Harriet

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I suspect my boyfriend is planning to get married behind my back. Then he will return to me and pretend, placing me in that situation where he says, “I love you, but my wife forced me to marry her.” He wants to look into one bottle with two eyes, and that makes him a very greedy person.

We started two years ago, and up until last year, everything felt right. My pastor said he wanted to see him. That is a good thing, isn’t it? I have been loud, if not proud, about him. I speak of him every chance I get. At church, with my parents, my siblings, my friends. His name sits on the tip of my tongue and rolls off easily, without effort.

He makes me happy. He makes the butterflies in my stomach dance for joy. He earns little, but he tries. He provides for my needs when I ask. Everything I have written here in my journal about my future husband, he has it.

So when I told him my pastor wanted to meet him, his face changed. It was like watching clouds gather before a storm. We had not even started talking seriously about the next step, not really, but still, what was there to fear? He asked what my pastor wanted. I told him the truth. I did not know exactly, but likely to ask about his intentions, his plans for me. My pastor is like a second father to me. There is nothing frightening about that.

That was last year. We went round and round that conversation, but he would not budge. I found myself fabricating excuses just to protect him, just to make sure my pastor would not see him as unserious.

There is also the issue of his mother. He does not want me to speak to her. I have asked, more than once. Each time, he says, “When the right time comes, you will speak with her, not now.” I ask him when the right time is, and he turns it on me. “Oh, you know, very soon.” But very soon never comes.

That is when my suspicions began to grow.

In December, he posted his friend’s wedding invitation, congratulating him. I imagined people asking him when it would be his turn. Then he posted on his status, “Oh me too, my own will come very soon.” When I saw it, it felt like cold water had been poured over me. Still, I stayed calm. I told myself he must be talking about us. Even though he plays hide and seek whenever marriage comes up.

My parents have been asking him to come and see them too. It is what they believe in. If you are dating their daughter, you come and show respect. There is nothing scary about that. But every time they ask, I make excuses for him. I say he is busy.

And when I ask him where he sees us in two years, he says he does not have money. When I bring up marriage, he says he does not have money.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

On his birthday, he posted, “Thank you all for the wishes. Soon to be Mr.”

Soon to be Mr. I feel it in my bones. I feel he is planning his marriage, just not with me. I feel he is lying to me. I do not know how I am going to find out. I do not even know if I will find out. But I am watching him now. Carefully.

I am keeping my eyes on him. And counting his steps.

So, if you have been in this situation before, tell me, how do I know there is someone else in the picture? How do I know I am just a placeholder, warming his bed and his food until the proper woman comes along?

—Brenda

#SB<>

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He had an accident and broke one leg. He was in the hospital for months before he was discharged, still unable to walk. He had to go through physiotherapy but because his wife was very busy working to take care of the family, she contracted me to take care of him while she was at work.

It was easy for me to do that because I lived very close. I had to help with his food and get him ready for physio. After that, I had to stick around and run errands for him. I was paid monthly to do that.

Just one week into my job, this man wanted to sleep with me. He couldn’t walk properly. I had to support his weight before he could take simple steps, but this man had the mouth and zeal to ask me to do crazy things with him.

He said because of his condition, his wife had abandoned his emotional needs and couldn’t remember the last time she made herself available to him. He was virtually begging me to accept and even offered money.

He threw the money at me and said, “Just this once and take it away.” I needed money, but I couldn’t bring myself to take it. I thanked him and said I couldn’t do that to the woman who employed me. He said, “So you want to lose your job?” I shook my head. He said if I didn’t do it, he would make his wife sack me.

True to his words, a few days later, the woman asked me to leave. She said her husband had been making complaints about how I would leave him alone and go to my house and only come when it was almost noon. I was hurt but didn’t say anything.

A few weeks later, the woman came back asking me what really happened, she wanted to know if her husband had ever tried to have his way with me. I shook my head. She begged me to tell the truth. I said there was no truth to be told.

She had brought in another woman, way older than I am, and the man had tried to do it to her too. The woman reported him to his wife, so it dawned on her that I might have suffered the same issue.

Dating A Narcissist: Lessons From Heartbreak And Abuse

Now she has sent her husband to his family. It looks like their marriage won’t be the same again. I’m asking, dear men, what is it about infidelity that makes you risk everything for it? What’s the pleasure when the consequences are this huge?

—Nhyira

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My wife thinks she has the safest marriage. Only that she is about to find out that I am about to cheat on her. I am certain it will break her before it kills her. But this is the only way I can keep myself alive for this marriage. Other than that, I will also die.

Even before I got a wife, I have always known that my wife was to be the most important part of my life, no less. She would be my guide, my shield. I promised to never cheat on her. When I heard men talk proudly about cheating on their wives, I scorned them and stopped being friends with them.

I met her and felt all the right things, just enough to know I was in love with her. On our wedding day, when I said the part of the vow, “forsaking all other women,” I meant it with every part of my heart.

I am still holding on to that promise like the woman with the issue of blood held on to Jesus’ cloak, but I do not know for how long.

I will tell you, I am that man who does not look at a woman twice. You can wear all the skimpy dresses and I would not even care. I was like that before marriage and especially after marriage. That is why what is happening to me feels like an out of body experience.

There is a voice I am hearing. It is fighting my body, my spirit, my passions, and whatever the flesh can think of. I am a staunch Christian, so when it started, I began praying about it, fasting it out, but nothing.

I have a high love for intimacy. She, on the other hand, does not. She can live without it. I feel like I would die without it, but I have compromised a lot in this marriage. So whenever she is ready, that is when we do the show. If not, then maybe two times in a month. Sometimes it feels like starvation, but compromise is compromise, so I endure.

In the midst of this turmoil, a woman came into my life. She is a white woman, almost looking like Snow White. She is behaving like a woman who wants something from me and she is not mincing any words. So I try as much as possible to avoid her calls, her texts, and spend more time with my wife.

But my wife is not seeing things the way I am. The sweat at night, the face I am putting on, the short answers I give just to get her attention. She is not seeing any of it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m at a 9 — fighting every devil, and fighting myself too not to force myself on her. I don’t know a better way to say it, so yes. Sometimes when I watch her, that’s the only thing that comes to mind.

A thought I never asked for, never invited. But as it comes, I chase it away with the Word of God and common sense. Common sense tells you, you will end up in jail. God tells you to resist all temptation. So I resist. Every single time.

If I’m not going to do that, then it means I may have to find a way to take care of myself. And the other lady is very much available. She’s only waiting for me to tell her when. I have delayed and stalled that visit because of my promise and my vow, but I don’t know anymore. The longer I wait, the heavier everything feels.

I don’t even know whether the wife I’m fighting all odds to be faithful to, is even faithful to me. And that question alone is enough to drive a man mad. How sure am I? If she’s not getting it from me, then where is she getting it? The woman is always on her phone, either laughing or guarding it. Like her life depends on it. And I sit there, watching, feeling something between jealousy and grief.

If only I had access to it, things would be clearer. But I don’t. And truthfully, I don’t want to. It’s better I don’t break my heart further with the feelings already wound up inside me. Some things you’re better off not knowing.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I just want to be a happy man. Is that too much to ask? To come home and feel wanted. To feel like the war I’m fighting daily actually means something. I am trying to hold this marriage together with both hands while it quietly slips through my fingers. I pray I don’t reach that point where the lid from the boiling pot finally falls, because when it does, I would have destroyed a marriage over small minutes of pleasure.

And that is not a trade I’m willing to make. Not today.

—Emmanuel

#SB<>

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Congressmen resign over sexual misconduct, assault cases

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) resigned from Congress on April 14 following multiple allegations of sexual misconduct, and at least two accusations of sexual assault. His resignation, along with that of Rep. Tony Gonzales (R-TX), came after the House of Representatives threatened to hold an expulsion vote. Swalwell also dropped his bid to be California’s next governor. “For me, justice won’t be until he can’t ever harm a woman ever again,” one accuser told CBS, “and he has faced the consequences for the women that he has harmed.”

DOJ fires prosecutors over FACE Act cases

The Justice Department fired at least four U.S. assistant attorneys who were involved in prosecuting anti-abortion protesters during the Biden administration. The DOJ now claims that these criminal prosecutions amounted to a “weaponization” of the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances (FACE) Act and targeted individuals based on their religion. President Donald Trump pardoned two dozen of the convicted demonstrators in 2025.

Sen. Josh Hawley goes after mifepristone (again)

Miffed that the FDA hasn’t begun a planned “review” of abortion drug mifepristone, the right is trying to enlist the DOJ. Mifepristone has been safely used for decades, but in an April 14 letter to Acting A.G. Todd Blanche, Sen. Josh Hawley called it “dangerous” and urged the DOJ to investigate its manufacturer, Danco Laboratories. In another letter, anti-abortion groups asked the DOJ to “stand with” the Republican states suing the FDA to stop the mailing of mifepristone—cases that could outlaw telehealth abortion care.

This news roundup first appeared in our newsletter, Rewire Weekly. Sign up here to get the latest reproductive rights news, expert analysis, and a peek into the RNG newsroom—fresh to your inbox.

The post Multiple Women Accuse Rep. Eric Swalwell of Sexual Misconduct appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Last year, when I discussed my continued struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome with my OB-GYN during my annual checkup, I was taken aback by the question he asked in response: Have you ever considered whether some of your symptoms are related to endometriosis?

I had not. I have irregular periods, and they’re extremely painful. I also had trouble getting pregnant, which I used to chalk up to the hormonal imbalance that gives me ovarian cysts, also called PCOS. But as it turns out, some of these symptoms also describe endometriosis, a condition that occurs when uterine lining-like tissue grows outside the uterus. Symptoms include chronic pain, fatigue, organ dysfunction, and infertility.

I was already seeing a pelvic floor therapist after giving birth. I brought up my doctor’s question to my therapist, who told me that pelvic floor therapy is sometimes recommended for endometriosis, too. But getting insurance to cover this treatment, along with other care like surgery to diagnose and remove endometriosis, can be difficult.

And sometimes, changing providers can mean having to take the time to form a new relationship, which means building trust in them to help with a sensitive matter. That matters in reproductive health care, which is intimate, and perhaps more so with a pelvic floor therapist. They are, after all, to quote a patient I spoke with, “medically fingering you.”

But when it is covered, affordable, and accessible, according to endometriosis patients that I spoke with, it is well worth it

How pelvic floor therapy can help with endometriosis

About 10 percent of menstruating people have endometriosis, and that is likely an underestimate, because many health plans do not cover the diagnostic testing that is required to receive a formal diagnosis (though that may soon change because of recent scientific breakthroughs identifying less invasive ways of diagnosing endometriosis).

I, like many patients both pelvic floor therapists that Rewire News Group spoke with see, did not even attribute symptoms to endometriosis. As a result, patients are also less likely to be formally diagnosed with this painful condition.

My experience with pelvic floor PT was multifaceted. It began with an exam, where my PT inserted her fingers into my vagina at different angles and in different areas, asking me to flex or hold certain muscles to gauge their strength or locate troublesome areas.

At the following appointments, we worked my pelvic floor muscles by doing stretches, mainly where I was on my hands and knees or laying on my back, or by having her insert her fingers to massage out pressure and tension.

Dr. Emily Mason, a pelvic floor physical therapist and women’s health coach, believes pelvic floor PT can help with certain symptoms that are directly associated with endometriosis.

“Pelvic floor PT is indicated if there is any pain around the pelvis including pain with periods, abdominal pain, low back pain, tailbone pain, hip pain, pain with sexual activity, and pain anywhere in the pelvic floor,” Mason explained. “It can also be very helpful if there are any bowel or bladder issues like constipation, IBS, pain with bowel movements, pain with urination, and urinary urgency and frequency.”

Mason has been working with people struggling with menstrual cycle issues and pelvic pain for a decade. Often, she finds, these patients also have some sort of underlying medical problem—like endometriosis or PCOS.

Annabelle B., a Californian who requested to keep her last name private in order to freely speak about her health struggles, sought out a pelvic floor therapist for her pelvic pain in 2025 after learning about it on a Reddit thread.

Physical therapists, like the one Annabelle saw, often do internal exams and massage to relieve pressure and tension in the pelvic floor. Annabelle said she was also sent home with a pelvic wand to do the exercises on her own.

“I have the nicest pelvic floor PT. She makes me feel very comfortable … I wish it was something more people knew about,” Annabelle said.

Like so many endometriosis patients, Annabelle learned that the provider did not take her insurance. But the treatment improved her pelvic pain—and helped her find methods to relieve other symptoms, too.

“My quality of life is a lot better now,” she said of her pelvic floor PT experience in an early 2026 Reddit post on the endometriosis subreddit. In another post from a similar time period, Annabelle said her doctor was working on referring her to another provider to weigh additional medication options and surgery.

In my reporting and personal experience, I identified cost as a significant barrier to relief for endometriosis patients. The price of a 45-minute pelvic floor therapy session for me, even with insurance, was nearly $150 out of pocket.

Stacy Alvarez, another endometriosis patient, was referred to pelvic floor therapy by an endometriosis specialist after other treatments, like yoga and stretching, didn’t work well enough. She said yoga did help more than other treatments, but she felt that she wanted to work on more “targeted” therapy specific to endometriosis.

She did pelvic floor therapy for 12 weeks and found that with discipline, it helped her symptoms improve.

“My advice would be [to start] with yoga/pilates and see if there’s some improvement,” Alvarez said. “I was doing that and I saw that I felt better so I decided to do the therapy. … You’ll have to be open to trying things to see if they give you relief. If they don’t, then move on to the next thing.”

While Alvarez no longer sees a pelvic floor therapist, she is able to use the exercises she learned there when she needs relief.

“It will reduce and help my symptoms,” she told RNG.

The kinds of symptoms commonly associated with endometriosis include pelvic pain, back pain, constipation, hypermobility, tailbone pain, pain with sex, leaking, and urgency, said Dr. Julianne Beck, a physical therapist who in May 2025 opened a clinic specializing in reproductive health issues like endometriosis and postpartum recovery.

Beck also provides post-op care for endometriosis patients that are recovering from excision surgery, which is the procedure that is used to remove endometriosis, or a hysterectomy.

“Recovery isn’t easy,” Beck said. “At the beginning, I think of it from two lenses. One, your body is recovering from a major surgery, and that takes some rehab. … And two, starting to correct and heal the impairments that happened as a result of the endometriosis—pelvic floor dysfunction, core weakness, back pain, bowel [and] bladder dysfunction.”

What happens in a session?

While pelvic floor PT can help with endometriosis symptoms, Beck said, it is not a cure.

“Physical therapy doesn’t specifically treat endometriosis, but it looks at how we can manage symptoms and heal some of the maladaptations that happen when your body is trying to protect against the pain and trauma that endo causes within,” she said.

Beck said she speaks with patients about their medical histories and helps identify patterns, since some people may not realize symptoms they thought were normal could actually be attributed to endometriosis. They also discuss the patient’s goals, as some want surgery eventually and others would prefer to try other methods.

Typically, Beck said, with endometriosis patients, she uses a combination of movement, exercise, and manual therapy techniques—meaning massaging—to help with pain. She also provides her patients with essential information.

“We do a lot of education on modifying the current environment the person lives in—how they sleep, work, perform regular daily activities—to really make sure we’re taking a holistic approach and leaving no stone unturned,” Beck said.

Mason uses manual therapy for pain and tension, too, saying this firm pressure on the pelvic floor is “essential for the endometriosis population as there are usually tons of restrictions in the areas surrounding the pain, including the [organs] for which we do therapy, myofascial release, soft tissue mobilization, and joint mobilization.”

“We can also do lymphatic massage for any areas with inflammation or swelling which is quite common in endometriosis,” she added.

Mason also likes to do dry needling, which uses a small, thin needle to help release muscles. She noted that cupping, which involves using a massage cup on the skin to help increase blood flow and circulation, can be a helpful tool for myofascial release. She also said Kinesio taping (literally sticking tape on painful areas) may help with pain and inflammation.

She emphasized that everyone could learn more about their pelvic floor.

“Patients are often never educated about this part of the body,” Mason said. “I educate my patients on bowel and bladder basics, norms and techniques, cycle basics and strategies, and pain science and ways to relieve pain.”

How the U.S. stacks up to Europe

Katie O., in Belgium, had a noticeably similar experience to my own and the other U.S.-based women I interviewed for this story. RNG is referring to Katie by her name and first initial because she is self-employed and fears talking about her chronic illnesses could harm her job security.

When Katie saw her gynecologist for an ultrasound, there were no big cysts or deep scarring.

But during a vaginal exam, her doctor found extreme tension and “listened to [her] own description of [her] symptoms” before prescribing a progesterone pill, Slinda. The doctor also prescribed 18 sessions of pelvic floor physiotherapy for pain.

In a Reddit post discussing her experience with pelvic floor PT, Katie said that she and her physical therapist spent a lot of the first session talking and reviewing her history, including a run down of her diet and lifestyle. Her PT did a vaginal exam with her fingers to evaluate how bad her tension was and where it was located. After that, they went through hip flexor stretches and how to unclench the vaginal canal, which she said then relaxes “everything else.”

The following session was similar, with an exam and the exercises again. But this time, her therapist added a special wand—like a “small dildo with metal bits on it, maybe the size of a large tampon, which uses electric waves to measure the tension.”

Katie wrote that her doctor said if she sees no improvement in three months, she will be referred for a laparoscopy.

All of this tracks with the American patients’ experiences, but for one big difference: It wasn’t expensive.

“In Belgium, health care is partly funded by taxes and partly by insurance,” Katie said. “Insurance is pretty cheap, so I pay about €12 per month—maybe $15 USD—for my cover.”

Katie estimated that the cost for pelvic floor PT would be about €30 per session, or about $35, of which one-third is due up front.

Katie also reported new developments with her treatment that Annabelle and Alvarez did not. Her PT is using a vaginal Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation machine—what Katie calls “the electric dildo.”

She said it feels fuzzy and tingly and helps for a couple of hours after sessions with the pain. Her PT also goes through each layer of her vagina with her fingers and tries to stretch out the muscles. This, she said, is uncomfortable, but she knows that it will help long term.

“Taxes are high in Belgium,” Katie said, “which people complain about.” But, she added, “I think I’d rather have it this way.”

The post Endometriosis Is Often Excruciating. Pelvic Floor Therapy Can Help Some Patients. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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For millions of U.S. women, July 4, 2025, wasn’t a day of independence or celebration. Instead, the date marked the beginning of their loss of health care.

On that date, President Donald Trump signed the One Big Beautiful Bill Act into law. The legislation delivered the largest Medicaid cuts in U.S. history and gutted subsidies.

By scaling back Medicaid expansion incentives and reducing financial assistance for marketplace plans, the law made coverage more expensive and harder to access—particularly for low-income people. As costs rise and eligibility pathways narrow, many are expected to switch to less expensive, worse coverage or be pushed out of the insurance market altogether.

The result: An estimated 2.1 million women between the ages of 19 and 49 are expected to lose their Medicaid coverage by 2034—which means preventive care, maternal health services, and treatment for chronic conditions could soon be out of reach.

Nine months later, these cuts have not been felt equally. Black women—already navigating systemic barriers to food access and health care—stand to lose critical support from programs like the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) and the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) while facing the brunt of poor outcomes in maternal and sexual health. Here’s how those impacts unfold.

The ‘big, beautiful bill’ restricts programs

Kavelle Christie, a health policy expert and director of the Center for Regulatory Policy and Health Innovation, said the bill’s restrictions on health care “[don’t] just affect the individual; [they] weaken the entire local care system, making it harder for everyone to access [maternal health] services.”

The “big, beautiful bill” slashed funding from SNAP and WIC, which provide critical nutrition assistance to low-income families across the United States.

Together, SNAP serves an estimated 40 million people each month, while WIC supports roughly 6 to 7 million pregnant women, new mothers, infants, and young children. The bill restricts these programs by tightening eligibility requirements and reducing federal funding contributions to state-administered benefits.

“The bill makes it harder for families to get the food support that keeps them healthy,” Christie added in a written response to Rewire News Group. “It tightens SNAP by adding more limits and work requirements, which will push people off the program or shorten how long they can receive help.”

Losing SNAP would be detrimental to many Black women and their families: According to the Pew Research Center, Black households made up just over 28 percent of SNAP recipients in 2023, and nearly one-third of child recipients were Black.

For some Black families, losing access to SNAP and WIC could mean having less consistent meals, limited access to infant formula and nutritional support for children, and more reliance on community food banks and informal support networks.

Disparities like these are rooted in structural inequities, which include historical redlining, underinvestment in predominantly Black neighborhoods, and limited access to affordable, healthy food options. Because of this, Black communities are both more likely to experience food insecurity and are more vulnerable to policy changes that reduce or restrict nutrition assistance.

How the cuts worsen Black maternal health outcomes

Dr. Faith Ohuoba, a board-certified OB-GYN based in Texas, explained that the bill created greater lapses and disparities in reproductive care.

“People will not only find it harder to get the care they need, but fetal conditions, infant mortality, and various reproductive health conditions like fibroids and cysts, will increase in those communities,” Ohuoba wrote to RNG through a representative.

These risks are particularly alarming given the structural disparities Black women already face in maternal health outcomes.

Medicaid covered 64 percent of Black births in 2021, and, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women. They’re also more likely to experience preterm labor, stillbirth, and postpartum complications.

“Statistically, Black women and women of color are more dependent on safety-net providers, given that we are already at higher risks for these various health conditions,” Ohuoba added.

At the same time, women are losing influence in the institutions that shape federal health research. An estimated 50 percent of Black and Hispanic women and 25 percent of all women who served on the Boards of Scientific Counselors—the main board responsible for evaluating scientific research across the National Institutes of Health—were fired in March 2025, compared to 6 percent among their white male counterparts. The shift raises concerns about whether diseases that uniquely or disproportionately affect women of color will continue to receive adequate attention and funding.

Gutting sexual health services

Planned Parenthood clinics have been blocked through mid-2026 from receiving Medicaid reimbursements for services like birth control, STI testing, and Pap smears.

The consequences go beyond clinic funding. The administration has also gutted CDC programs, eliminating roughly 2,400 jobs in April 2025; 460 roles were later reinstated. The reductions raise concerns about access to sexual health resources, especially in the Division of Reproductive Health, which develops research and clinical guidelines for contraception use to providers.

These changes come at a time when Black women already face disproportionate risks in sexual health outcomes. Black women accounted for a significantly higher share of new HIV and STI diagnoses compared to white women in 2022, according to the CDC, which also noted gaps in access to care.

Planned Parenthood plays a crucial role in closing those gaps: Nearly half of Black women in an April 2025 KFF poll reported having gone to a Planned Parenthood clinic.

Preparing for the future

Ohuoba suggested that all Black women need to be more hypervigilant now.

“We need to be understanding and listen to our bodies and seek immediate care for preventative services, contraception, and maternal care,” she said. “We must advocate for ourselves.”

Advocates have advised people to contact their elected officials in Congress to voice their concerns about the bill’s impact on health-care access. The Southern Poverty Law Center also recommended pushing state and local officials to fully fund basic-needs programs and submitting comments to federal agencies before they begin implementing many Medicaid provisions later in 2026.

Stacey B. Lee, a health-care law professor at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School, also suggested joining collectives that support reproductive justice organizations led by Black women, like SisterSong and Black Mamas Matter Alliance. These groups work to protect and advance bodily autonomy and Black maternal health.

“We can’t fight it alone, but we can fight it together,” Lee said.

The post Black Women’s Health Care Undermined by Trump Policies: Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Have you ever been told that you are too needy by your partner? Learn why this may be happening and why the idea of 'too needy' is a myth.

The post The Myth of Being “Too Needy” in Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Myth, Being, “Too, Needy”, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "31", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-1265099409.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-myth-of-being-too-needy-in-relationships/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-20 13:39:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "181756", "lang_id": "1", "title": "First Girls Chase Comic: Dating App Realities", "title_slug": "first-girls-chase-comic-dating-app-realities", "title_hash": "afef49ddc921c366dda0907ad3e5f37d", "summary": "I felt like having some fun so I created a comic as well as a subdomain to host comics on.\nI feel like dating is an area that is full of absurd scenarios, which for some reason get treated absurdly serious when they are really quite funny.\n\n\n\n\n", "content": "

I felt like having some fun so I created a comic as well as a subdomain to host comics on.

I feel like dating is an area that is full of absurd scenarios, which for some reason get treated absurdly serious when they are really quite funny.

$\"dating$

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "First, Girls, Chase, Comic:, Dating, App, Realities", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "29", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/dating-app-realities.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/first-girls-chase-comic-dating-app-realities", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-20 13:31:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "181757", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Picking Up Girls in Techno Clubs, Part 1: Are Techno Clubs Any Good?", "title_slug": "picking-up-girls-in-techno-clubs-part-1-are-techno-clubs-any-good", "title_hash": "638ba704748da4ccc7ee589c322b92ab", "summary": "House and techno clubs offer a unique environment for seduction. More open and friendlier than other venues – and ideal for introverts.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"are$ House and techno clubs offer a unique environment for seduction. More open and friendlier than other venues – and ideal for introverts.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Picking, Girls, Techno, Clubs, Part, Are, Techno, Clubs, Any, Good", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "33", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/techno-club-pickup-pt1-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/picking-girls-techno-clubs-part-1-are-techno-clubs-any-good", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-20 13:31:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "181755", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Right Way to Rock a Clean Shave", "title_slug": "the-right-way-to-rock-a-clean-shave", "title_hash": "e012a6d90cb9a065deb60e50b40279e3", "summary": "Ditching Your Low-Maintenance Facial Hair? Here's How to Rock the Beardless Look Like a Boss", "content": "Once upon a time, being clean-shaven was the standard in professional settings. Scruff was associated with being unkempt, while a clean shave sent the message that you were put-together and cared about your appearance. \r\nThanks to cultural and economic shifts, like the hipster beards of the 2010s that followed the Great Recession, attitudes about what’s considered appropriate and attractive have evolved. Stubble is now welcome, and men are expressing their individuality by embracing a wide variety of facial hair styles – the “Top Gun mustache,” for example, has recently spurred a ‘stache revival.\r\n \r\nRELATED: Best Razors for Men\r\n\r\nIs the Clean Shave Still in Style?\r\n\r\n \r\nBut is it still OK to wear a clean shave if you feel like it? While trends come and go, some looks remain timeless. Even though it decreased in popularity in the past couple of decades, the clean shave will never go out of fashion.“The total clean-shaven look has always been around, but with more men returning to the office as [remote work opportunities] decrease, many are now opting to remove their low-maintenance beards,” according to Tom Yates, founder of Cut Throat Club. \r\nSo, yes, the clean shave is still in style. It’s also practical. With warmer temps, more men are looking to knock off their facial hair, says professional groomer and barber Jovan Figueroa. If you feel inclined to try it out, here’s the right way to rock a clean shave.\r\n \r\n\r\nTips to Rock a Clean Shave\r\n\r\nMentally Prepare\r\nFirst, get mentally ready, says Figueroa: “This may not seem like a step for some, but for anyone with a full-grown beard, it could be intimidating.” \r\nIf you’re used to seeing yourself with a beard, you may want to ease into a clean shave by trying a shorter style first before fully taking the plunge.\r\n \r\nGet the Right Tools\r\n \r\nGetting your hands on the right tools and using the proper shaving technique is also crucial if you want to achieve a smooth, close shave (more on that below). You don’t need anything fancy, but your blades need to be sharp. \r\n“Dull blades not only provide an uneven shave, but can also pull hairs and cause skin irritation, leading to ingrown hairs,” says Yates.\r\n \r\nDon’t Neglect Post-Shave Care and Skincare\r\n \r\nWhat you do after you shave makes a big difference in terms of wearing the clean-shaved style well. Post-shave basics like rinsing with cold water and using an aftershave balm are more than soothing – they also protect your skin from irritation. \r\nNow that you’re going to showcase your skin, your skincare routine is that much more important. Look for products adapted to your skin type. Keep your face cleansed and moisturized while using sun protection daily. Exfoliating on a regular basis will also help prevent ingrown hairs.\r\n \r\nConsider Grooming Your Eyebrows\r\n \r\nYou certainly don’t need to groom your eyebrows to sport a clean shave. But if you were blessed with extra-bushy brows, you may find that they clash with your new sleek look. Trimming your brows can help balance the overall aesthetic. \r\nOwn Your Look\r\n \r\nIt could take you a couple of days to get used to seeing your bare face again. You may get comments from friends and family. Don’t let any of those initial reactions deter you. Have fun experimenting with outfits and hairstyles that make you feel confident and complement the sharpness of your clean shave. \r\n\r\nHow to Achieve a Perfect Clean Shave\r\n\r\nEager to shave off all your facial hair? If you’re working with a full beard, trim it down first. Once you’re ready to get started on the close shave, Figueroa recommends a straight-edge razor – think, your classic Gillette pick – or a safety razor, which features an extra-sharp single blade. Both options are equally effective and can be used in a similar manner, but the latter is a little more advanced if you’re not used to maneuvering a razor. \r\nNext, take a hot shower or apply a hot towel to your face to soften your hair and open your pores. The hot towel will enhance the whole experience if you have the time for the extra step. “Place a wet face towel in the microwave for about a minute and a half, open it up, and apply the steam towel to the face,” suggests Figueroa.\r\n \r\nThen, apply a pre-shave oil to your face. Oil and shaving cream work hand in hand, so use both. “Creating a good barrier between skin and razor is extremely important to limit any irritation, razor burns, or cuts,” adds Figueroa. \r\nThe way you hold and move your razor also matters. “Grip the razor comfortably with your thumb on the shoulder and fingers wrapped around the tang. Short, controlled strokes are key,” says Yates.\r\n \r\nAccording to Yates, you should tilt the razor slightly and pull your skin while moving the blade across your face. You may need multiple passes for a close shave, but with gentle pressure. Avoid shaving against the grain and follow the direction of your natural hair growth. “Although you may feel this gives a closer shave, it's often the culprit behind ingrown hairs and irritation,” says Yates. Take your time and prioritize safety and technique over speed. \r\nOnce you’re done, rinse off with cool water, apply a soothing aftershave balm and moisturize. Your skin should feel baby smooth at this point. Take good care of your skin, and show off your facial angles to the world with confidence.\r\n \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nOur Favorite Beard OilsBest Beard TrimmersBest Electric Shavers", "keywords": "The, Right, Way, Rock, Clean, Shave", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "33", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/the-right-way-to-rock-a-clean-shave/askmen-lead-image-template-1717764964.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/the-right-way-to-rock-a-clean-shave.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-20 13:31:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "181086", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Step-Siblings Are About to Start a War Because My Mother Died", "title_slug": "my-step-siblings-are-about-to-start-a-war-because-my-mother-died", "title_hash": "393d7eda16b25ce43bcdeafb7ef56c8b", "summary": "This story stretches all the way back to 1989, when my mother remarried my stepfather. If I remember correctly, she said it was God giving her another chance at love, …", "content": "

This story stretches all the way back to 1989, when my mother remarried my stepfather. If I remember correctly, she said it was God giving her another chance at love, and she held on to that belief like a promise she refused to let life break.

I grew up watching the two of them love each other the only way they knew how. It was quiet, deliberate, almost ritualistic. My mother would cook and serve him, then sit beside him while he ate, the two of them talking about everything and nothing at once. Sometimes she ate with him. Other times, he would feed her a morsel, small gestures that carried the weight of a full sentence.

Every day, my stepfather woke before the first crow of the cock, took his bag, and left for work. My mother would walk him to the door and stand there, waving until he disappeared from sight.

It was one of their small routines. Their love was different. An old kind of love. The kind this generation might mock, dismiss as old-fashioned, even foolish. But it worked for them. It held.

They built it, slowly, with intention. At some point, my stepfather wanted to start a business, but he did not have enough capital. My mother, a teacher, used her position to secure a loan for him. They put everything together and invested it into that business. Like most businesses, it crawled before it walked. The early days were slow, uncertain. But gradually, things began to change. It picked up. We started living more comfortably. My stepfather began building properties.

During school vacations, we would sometimes visit the construction sites to see how the work was progressing. In total, there were three properties.

Then in 2010, he died intestate, without a will.

After his funeral, the properties were shared among his family, his children, and my mother, who was his only surviving spouse. My mother did not have a child with him, but she was his wife. She was his partner. She received the three-bedroom section, with a hall, dining area, and kitchen. The rest was divided among his family and children.

Eight years later, my mother died.

For me, it did gladden my heart that she had lived long enough to enjoy the fruits of her labour. What I was not prepared for was the kind of problems her death would bring.

After her death, our step-siblings came to see us. We thought they had come to sympathise with us. They did not come empty-handed. They came with stiff shoulders, heavy egos, and a mission.

They said to us, “Since your mother is dead and the properties were our father’s before he died, it is only proper that you return them to the family. The connection between our families no longer exists. Inheritance is only meant for those who are family.”

My sister and I looked at each other before speaking. I remember the disbelief sitting heavy in my chest. Where were they when our mother showed up for that marriage with everything she had? Where were they when she stood beside him, gave her all, and helped build that life?

They built it together. We saw it. We lived in it. We watched love turn into labour, and labour turn into something solid enough to stand on.

We asked them to give us some time. To come back later, so we could think and respond properly. But it has not been easy. They have grown impatient. There are tantrums now. They have drawn in other family members, people ready to fight at the slightest signal.

Since they insist that, legally, we have no claim to the property, it has been one long, exhausting headache. We all know what inheritance does to families. It stretches small disagreements into endless wars. What begins in one room spreads through the whole house and refuses to end.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

But here is what I know. My mother earned that property. Not as a gift. Not as charity. Not as something handed to her because she was a widow. She earned it as a partner who gave her income, her credit, her years, and her devotion to building what became those three houses.

What she left my sisters and me is not a handout. It is inheritance in the truest sense. The yield of a life faithfully invested.

Is a widow’s sweat equity only valid while she’s alive

—Jaja

#SB<>

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I was very clear from the beginning that I didn’t want intimacy before marriage. I wasn’t a virgin, but I’d learned that what nearly killed me were the relationships I gave everything away in. I played the role of a wife when I didn’t even have an assurance of marriage. I thought giving everything away and doing it well secured a man’s heart for you. I was wrong, and I learned it the hard way.

The longest relationship I kept was three years. I nearly went under when it ended. The next tough one ended after a year. When you go through what I went through twice, you grow. You learn. You secure what’s left and protect it with everything you have. So I told Bright, “No sex, but I’ll love you the best way I can until we get to the top.”

He agreed. He said it was a distance relationship, so we wouldn’t have a problem. A month later, I went to visit him. He didn’t try to be intimate, but he asked a lot of questions about it. “What do you want to see before you let it go?” “Apart from marriage, you mean nothing will convince you to let it go?”

“I don’t know, but time will tell,” I said. “For now, only marriage will do.”

He came to visit too, and nothing happened. I liked that he wasn’t forcing it. I loved him more and more each day that he didn’t try to take it by force. So I let myself go around him. The distance was far, but I visited as often as I could. Because sex was off the menu, I had to find other non-intimate things to replace it. So I cooked. I washed. I bought gifts. I paid for dates sometimes. I sent him data he could hotspot to browse with.

He called it love. I called it love too. Very soon, we had done a year, and nothing had happened between us. The farthest had been a hug and sometimes a peck on the forehead when I woke up in the morning.

He initiated the marriage talks while I listened. He drew the roadmap. He said I had starved him for too long, and he couldn’t wait any longer, so he would marry me and I would pay for every round I owed through the years of abstinence. We laughed about it. I was ready. Once the ring was on, he could have it for breakfast, lunch, supper, and dinner.

He said he had a surprise for me, so I should come over for the weekend. He wouldn’t mention what it was, no matter how hard I tried. So Friday after work, I set off to see him. Immediately I walked through the door, he tied my eyes with a blindfold. I could hear him unwrapping something, then he said, “Stretch your fingers,” and I did. He placed it on my engagement finger, took the blindfold off, and asked, “Would you marry me?”

He didn’t finish asking the question when I said yes. We hugged. We kissed. He played with my ‘nyash,’ and I allowed it. He touched my chest, and I didn’t question him. He asked, “Does this score me a three-point?” I happily said it did.

Hmmm. That night I nearly gave it all away. I allowed him to do everything, but when it got to the point of entry, I said no. He said, “We are getting married in a few months, so what’s there to keep again?”

How he said it weakened my resistance and made me yearn to do it, but I replied, “It means in a few months’ time, you can ask me to pay what I owe, and there won’t be any resistance.”

He was very disappointed. It was the very first time I had seen him behave that way. He went quiet, faced the wall, and slept. I tried to revive his spirit with jokes and sweet talk, but it didn’t work out. He slept and left me hanging. All night, I was talking to myself. “I’ve given it to people who didn’t even deserve to hold my hands. What’s wrong if I give it to him? He has bought me a ring. Those I gave in to—did any of them even buy me a fake one?”

If he had come to ask again, I would have allowed him to do it, but he was so down and disappointed that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I apologized for treating him that way. I said sorry, thinking it would make him try again, but he didn’t.

I left on Sunday evening. I called to tell him I had reached. In the morning, I called to tell him how my day was going to go. His response wasn’t that good, but I knew with time he would come around. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. Not much changed. He was still a cloudy sky.

Then I had a call from a lady who identified herself as Edwina. She said, “Bright said I should meet you and collect the ring.” I asked, “Bright? Ring? What ring?” She answered, “He took it from me. He said he gave it to you to be given to me.”

I was like, “Bright didn’t give me any ring to be given to you, or he forgot to give it to me. Let me call him.”

He said, “Yeah, the one you’re wearing. It’s for her, so let her have it.” Very straightforward and cold. I asked if he was serious, and he said he wouldn’t joke about something like that. I said, “Then come for it yourself.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Days later, he was standing in front of me, asking me to give him back the ring. I did, without hesitation. He thanked me and turned around and left—so cold and without a word. I was shocked, like it was a dream. But why would he do that? I asked myself. I waited to hear from him, but when he didn’t call, I got the message. Nonetheless, I called to hear it from him. He didn’t go straight to the point. All he said was, “Maybe those you gave it to were better than me, and that’s fine.”

It still hurt, though we were not intimately engaged. It hurt just as badly as it did with those I gave in to. Now I don’t know what’s true and what’s worth it. They’ll still go regardless, and it will still hurt regardless, so what do we do?

—Natasha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Proposed, with, Ring, That, Belongs, Another, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/46075.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-proposed-with-a-ring-that-belongs-to-another-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-17 06:01:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "180913", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Anti-Choice Movement’s Obsession with Abortion Pills (Podcast)", "title_slug": "the-anti-choice-movements-obsession-with-abortion-pills-podcast", "title_hash": "75d76653d15ff142597dc4d744c8c8dc", "summary": "Conservatives are running a multi-layered campaign to try and ban abortion pills entirely.\nThe post The Anti-Choice Movement’s Obsession with Abortion Pills (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode, Imani and Jess unpack the conservative legal movement’s latest attacks on medication abortion, from courthouses to state legislatures across the country—including efforts to categorize mailing pills as “drug trafficking.”

For over a decade, Rewire News Group has been covering reproductive health, rights, and justice—for one reason: to watch out for you. And on Boom! Lawyered, that means helping you understand what’s happening in the courts and what it actually means.

We’ve had your back—now we need you to have ours. We’re raising $10,000 by April 30 to keep this show going. If you can, please support us here.

B*tch, Listen now has its own dedicated feed on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever else you get your podcasts. If you already subscribe to Boom! Lawyered, sign up for B*tch, Listen so you won’t miss it.

The post The Anti-Choice Movement’s Obsession with Abortion Pills (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Anti-Choice, Movement’s, Obsession, with, Abortion, Pills, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/BL-S09-E55-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/16/the-anti-choice-movements-obsession-with-abortion-pills-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-17 05:48:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "180134", "lang_id": "1", "title": "His “Destiny Helper” Was Wearing My Nightie", "title_slug": "his-destiny-helper-was-wearing-my-nightie", "title_hash": "e5a72d3de54e8ac26b2968be5f228dee", "summary": "I usually forgot my hairbrush whenever I visited him, so I used his shoe brush to brush my hair. I have natural hair. It’s always trimmed low. I went to …", "content": "

I usually forgot my hairbrush whenever I visited him, so I used his shoe brush to brush my hair. I have natural hair. It’s always trimmed low. I went to his house, took his shoe brush, and it had strands of long hair. There was also another toothbrush that looked like it had been used to apply gel—dark and with compact bristles.

Suddenly, I knew there was a woman involved. I asked if any of his female friends visited him. If he was smart, he would have known that question was born out of suspicion. He said, “What are you saying? What are my friends coming to do here?”

One weekend, he asked if I would come around. I told him I needed to go and help my mother. In the evening, I went to his place unannounced. Immediately he saw me, he asked, “Ah, didn’t you go to your mom’s place again? I was just about stepping out, so let’s go.”

He threw his hand around my shoulder and pulled me to follow him. I didn’t. I asked him to go and come back. He said he might not even come back. We were arguing when this lady, in my nightie, walked out of the bedroom, apparently to see what was going on.

I screamed, “I knew it! I knew there was a fire behind your actions.” The lady went back. Just when I was about to follow, he pulled me back and dragged me out of the room. He whispered, “Hey, hey, hey, don’t come and destroy the relationship between me and my destiny helper. She’s rich. She’s helping me with a business that will help me settle and marry you as soon as possible.”

I don’t know why he thought that was enough to calm me down. I wanted to talk to the girl and see who she really was. He didn’t allow me but rather pulled me out of the compound and stayed with me until, hours later, I told him it was over and that he should never ever come close to me again.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Of course, he came again. This time, he came with a master plan, that my behavior got the girl upset, so I should go and apologize so he would be able to get more help from her. The way I shut the door on his face, if he had stood an inch closer, the door would have hit his face and broken the lips he used to tell lies.

Why do some men behave like that? What will ever be enough for you? And what will a woman do to make a man not cheat on her? I’m tired of walking away because of cheating. Isn’t there one truthful man in the universe that is easy to find?

—Perpetual

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": "His, “Destiny, Helper”, Was, Wearing, Nightie", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/2149635024.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/his-destiny-helper-was-wearing-my-nightie/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-17 03:07:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "180133", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Three Days To Our Wedding Anniversary, I Received a Divorce Message From His Ex", "title_slug": "three-days-to-our-wedding-anniversary-i-received-a-divorce-message-from-his-ex", "title_hash": "db5da3c9cc7a70a762aea1ae58a7418f", "summary": "It was three days to our second wedding anniversary. My husband had traveled for days. I woke up early one morning to a text message from him. It said, “I’m …", "content": "

It was three days to our second wedding anniversary. My husband had traveled for days. I woke up early one morning to a text message from him. It said, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I can’t stay in this marriage any longer. I’m pretending to be happy, but nothing about this marriage smells of happiness. I’m sorry, but we have to end it before this drives me crazy.”

I read the message over and over again, checking every word and assessing every punctuation the way you’d inspect a product you suspect is fake. The message was sent at 12:06 a.m., a few hours after we had gotten off a video call.

I called his phone with a smile on my face because I knew that message might be a prank. His phone was off. I called the phone several times within a minute, as if I didn’t understand it when the feedback said it was off. I began to worry.

A call from a different number came through during midday. I picked up, and the first thing I heard was his voice. “Hello…” Before he could say anything else, I asked, “What happened to your phone? I’ve been calling you all morning. What’s the matter with you?”

He said his phone was stolen at night while he was sleeping. He woke up and the phone was not there, and that he suspected those guys who pick phones through windows at night.

“The same phone that sent me a text message is stolen? How? Did you send it before it was stolen, or was it the thief who sent me the message?” I asked. “My phone sent you a message? How? What did the message say?”

I recited the message line after line without reading it from my phone. He said, “Wow, how can I send you this message out of the blue? When was the last time I sent you a text message? I would have texted you on WhatsApp, but SMS? Now feel like it’s someone I know who stole my phone.”

I was confused, happy, angry, excited, and distracted. It was a cocktail of emotions—happy that I could finally hear his voice, angry that his phone was stolen, confused about how the person was able to know I was his wife and send me such a message, excited that the message wasn’t true, but then distracted by the little voice in my head that kept prompting me that there was more to it than he was telling me.

He returned with a new phone. I acted very cool and normal, but deep down I was burning to know the truth. I kept the message. I read it every now and then, hoping the way it was written would lead me to a clue. I went through his phone while he was asleep, hoping I would find something.

Weeks folded into months. My heart was gradually giving up on the issue when I had a call from a lady who said she was looking for my husband. I was like, “Did he give you my number to call him?” She answered, “He’s not picking up my calls. Give the phone to him if he’s close.”

I said, “My husband is not here. How did you even get my number?”

She got angry and cut the line. I showed the number that called to my husband, and immediately his demeanor changed. “What did she tell you, and why are you the one she’s calling if I wasn’t picking her calls?” I asked calmly and slowly, “Please, who is she?”

My husband swore he didn’t know the number from anywhere. I tried sending MoMo, and the name that came up was Abena Boadi. My husband swore he didn’t know anyone called Abena Boadi. He couldn’t look into my eyes or smile while he said it. I knew him too well to know his eyes were hiding the truth, which was why he couldn’t show them to me.

I called the number days later. I mentioned her name. “Abena Boadi, what do you want from my husband? He says he doesn’t want to hear from you or see you anywhere close to him, so why are you pushing yourself on him? Do you want him to marry you as a second wife?”

It was a hook with a worm, and it landed directly in her throat, and she swallowed it. “Oh, is that what he told you? Did he also tell you that I was with him long before you came into the picture? Or he’s keeping that truth for another day?”

“Liar!” I screamed. “You think you’ll destroy our marriage with lies? He has told me everything.”

Another hook with a bigger worm, and because she was a hungry fish, she kept swallowing and kept getting trapped.

That message that was sent at midnight came from her. She used my husband’s phone to send the message because she was with him that very night. She ranted a whole lot of truth that put my marriage in a dimension I had never seen it from. And then she said, “I’m not the only one. Before he married you, I was fighting off two other women. And he had the gut to tell you I’m the one pushing myself on him?”

When I started narrating what I heard to my husband, he got up, trying to leave the room. I held him down and forced him to listen. “You were with another woman all the while you were on a video call with me? And you went to buy a new phone just to complete the lie you started? What kind of human are you?”

He denied the truth, but guess what—there was a bigger truth I didn’t know, and I found out about it that very night on his phone. He was not picking Abena’s calls because she was pregnant and had collected money for an abortion from him and didn’t do it. That started their fight. This was the ultimate truth that nailed the coffin of our marriage.

I was ready to forgive the lies, though it was difficult. I was willing to overlook the fact that he went back to his ex when I was the one he married. I was trying to forgive the fact that he gave his ex access to me to insult me and call me names. I was willing to forgive all that until I realized this same ex was carrying his baby while, as a wife, I had no child for him.

I couldn’t stand the fact that my child was going to be the second child and also the fact that a woman like Abena Boadi was going to have a reason to stick to my husband until the end of time. I had the strength to bear it all, but this was beyond me.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I didn’t tell him when I was leaving, but when he called, I told him I was not coming back again. Yes, we are not fully divorced legally, but there’s nothing remaining that looks like the marriage we had before. We’ve lived apart for the past year, and the only time we talked was when we met in court. He has a baby girl now, and I wish him well.

—Natasha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My boyfriend came for a marriage list. He said it was expensive. Honestly, I don’t think it’s expensive at all, looking at his income and the kind of woman I am. I asked him to plead for a reduction from my dad. Even before he would call my dad and ask for the reduction, I spoke to my dad about it, and he said, “It’s not really about what’s stated. If he can’t afford it, he should bring what will show respect to the family.”

I didn’t tell him what my dad said. I was only waiting for him to call him and speak to him man to man. He hasn’t called my dad, but each day he tells me about the list and talks about how expensive the whole thing is. I said, “That’s fine, just call my dad. He’s not a difficult person. Just talk to him.”

Just yesterday, he took a photo of the list and posted it on his status and asked, “Would you pay this amount to marry a woman, or would you invest it in your business?”

I called him right away and asked what in the name of disrespect that was. He said he was only joking. He wanted to hear what his friends would say. I would have none of that, so I told him my mind—that if he was not ready to marry, he should leave me alone and stop being childish. Maybe what I said hurt him, and I don’t even mind. Now, according to him, I overreacted, and it meant I support what my family is asking as a bride price.

My father said he should bring what would show respect to the family, so if instead of negotiating, he’s on his status asking for the opinions of friends, do you think a man like this respects my family?

We have dated for two years. I’m not the one who pushed him to marry me. We had a conversation about it, and he said he was ready, but the way he’s handling the bride price is giving me a window to look through to see the future of our relationship, and what I see isn’t pretty.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I want to walk away. As a matter of fact, I feel he doesn’t have any respect for me as a woman and also doesn’t have respect for the family that raised me to become the woman he wants to marry. Is it too much of a haste if I walk out of this relationship and concentrate on my life?

—Obroni

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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The first fight we had, it was because I bought a rice cooker. He came to meet me cooking with it, and while I was excited about my first big purchase, he saw it as a “distraction.” I questioned what he meant by that.

“You are going to leave school soon. You don’t need a rice cooker.”

I lived in a hostel that didn’t allow gas cookers, so it only made sense that I would purchase an appliance I could make most meals in. He was screaming at the top of his voice that it was a useless purchase. Me too, I was screaming.

“Is it your money? Line nsu ben nie?”

My floor mates could hear us, and that was the only thing he cared about, so he begged that I should keep it down.

As he left, I looked at the back of his head and wondered how strange he was behaving. This was not the man I met on my first day of school. The man I met was gentle, one who always came to comfort me.

In the early days of our live, he would bring me food when he cooked and I will do same. We were in the same level in school, just two years apart in age, but we acted and moved like adults in love. I even introduced him to my church as my “beloved”

After that embarrassment of a fight, he started carrying himself strangely, so I was on the lookout. We stopped talking about our future. I know you would say we are young, but it was a risk we were both taking. Isn’t that what love is about? Risks?

Whenever I talked about our future, he shut his lips as if they had been superglued together.

He wouldn’t talk. He grew moody. Some days, when I pushed too far, he would burst out and tell me the things on his mind. And at last, he said the truth, just as I had been expecting.

“You smile too much with every man. Every day your mouth is going up and down. You don’t respect me. With the way things are going, I don’t think we can continue like this.”

I was so desperate to keep him that I started trying to fix things I hadn’t even broken. Some days after, when I thought we had made up, I went to surprise him, and he surprised me.

I went to his place and found the door locked. I knocked again and again, with no response. Just when I was about to call him, the door opened. When I peered into the room, there she was, guilty.

It was an uncomfortable situation, walking into my boyfriend’s room and finding him with his side piece. That moment stayed with me.

He spoke as if he didn’t do anything.

“She is nobody.”

Another time, I went to his house again and met her there. I couldn’t even go inside. I had to beg him to come out so we could talk.

Embarrassing, isn’t it?

After some time, he dragged himself out, when we talked, I left feeling completely broken.

That period was one of the hardest times of my life. He apologised, I accepted. Unfortunately, and somehow almost fortunately, it was almost working out, until he flipped the coin again.

He said he didn’t want me.

“I am going to have to choose between you and her, and I choose her. Me and her, we are two seeds in a pea. We make the best couple.”

I thought we made the best couple.

But I didn’t say it.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I thanked him for not keeping me in limbo, for days or for the rest of my life. It was two years, and it was one of the greatest times I had.

Maybe I really should have focused on my studies instead of falling in love with a man.

He says he would still like to be my friend.

But I am not going to give him that attention at all. I’m here, hurting and healing, and writing exams and asking God to take the wheel and lead me. It’s not easy.

But I will survive

—Angela

#SB<>

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To get AngryBlackLady Chronicles straight to your inbox, sign up for Imani’s bimonthly newsletter here.

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In the last episode of my podcast B*tch, Listen, I mused about a problem I can’t stop thinking about: Online progressives have built the most informed progressive public in U.S. history and it has not translated into any form of power or institutional change. Not even close.

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Anyone can explain anything to anyone now. That’s new. Twenty years ago if you wanted to understand how the Federalist Society was reshaping the federal judiciary in alignment with a Christofascist agenda, you needed a law degree or to browse a very specific corner of the internet.

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But now we are a nation of content creators with tiny microphones who are explaining everything and anything under the sun. When it comes to trying to make heads or tails of what the Supreme Court is doing, you don’t need a law degree. You just need a phone and 15 minutes.

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The information is everywhere. The podcasts, the newsletters, the Instagram carousels breaking down Supreme Court decisions in eight slides—everywhere.

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And we are still losing. Badly. Across the board. Because all the education in the world isn’t a replacement for actual power.

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(Listen: We Did the Reading. Fascism Came Anyway)

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I’ve been doing this work for 12 years. I have explained abortion jurisprudence in every format that exists. I have been on panels and podcasts and Twitter.

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Roe fell anyway. And voting rights have been slowly dismantled, with the Supreme Court set to stick the last knife in the belly of the Voting Rights Act later this term in Louisiana v. Callais. The Court that is supposed to interpret the Constitution is openly pursuing a political agenda, and a significant portion of the country either doesn’t know or can’t figure out what to do about it.

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I don’t think the problem is that progressives aren’t learning. I think they are learning more than they ever have. I think the problem is that we have confused the classroom for the whole project. We built an incredible apparatus for producing informed people and called it a movement. Somewhere along the way awareness became a substitute for power instead of a precursor to it.

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The right hasn’t made that mistake. The Federalist Society doesn’t just educate lawyers—it has built a pipeline that turned legal education into judicial appointments into a Supreme Court supermajority.

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It has treated the classroom as the beginning of something, not the end. The beginning was indoctrination in the classroom. The end was a seat on a federal court of appeals. And in the middle were networking events where young conservative lawyers hobknob with Washington’s conservative elite intent on molding those lawyers in conservatism’s image.

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The left built the American Constitution Society in 2001 as an explicit answer to that pipeline. The ACS still exists, but it never got the funding or coordination the Federalist Society did. Instead, it has become a networking organization for progressive lawyers instead of an institution that can counter the Federalist Society’s stranglehold on the federal judiciary.

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Instead of building infrastructure for power and then funding that power, think about what the left actually built instead. Beyond ACS conferences, there’s Netroots Nation, where progressive activists confer with each other. Even SXSW has become a kind of left-leaning hub. These are gatherings where smart progressive people sit on panels, talk to each other about the problems, and fly home.

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I’ve been to these conferences. I’ve been on those panels. They are valuable in the movement for social justice. But they are also, fundamentally, a way of getting the message out to people who already agree with you—of connecting progressive organizers and media with other progressive organizers and media.

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But the right didn’t get where they are by just holding meetings to deliberate about war. They were creating soldiers to fight it. Lawyers who came out of the Federalist Society pipeline knew exactly what their assignment was, which courts to target, which cases to bring, and which judges to cultivate.

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Why haven’t progressives successfully done that? What needs to happen for the blue donor class to get on board with court reform? Because the people already know. At least that’s what spending my mornings on Bluesky have taught me. People know the Supreme Court is captured. They know what court reform would require: Expansion. Term limits. Jurisdiction stripping.

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There are advocacy groups like Demand Justice and Fix the Court that are pushing for court reform. They do real work. Important work.

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But there’s a difference between organizations that advocate for court reform and a constituency that creates electoral consequences for politicians who ignore it.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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The NAACP didn’t just educate people about civil rights—it made it politically costly to oppose them. In 1930, for example, they launched a grassroots campaign against President Herbert Hoover’s Supreme Court nominee John J. Parker, a man known for opposing Black enfranchisement.

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The NAACP called on its members to contact senators and threaten electoral consequences directly as opposed to simply lobbying them. That killed the nomination, according to the Walter White Project, a project documenting the work of the former NAACP leader.

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No Democrat has lost a primary because they refused to support court expansion. No senator is afraid of a court-reform constituency the way they’re afraid of the gun lobby or AIPAC. That’s got to at least partly explain why Democrats won’t touch court reform—at least not in any meaningful way.

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In 2021, Biden convened a commission to look at court reform, including the possibility of expanding the Supreme Court. In a 288-page report, the commission came to the conclusion that reforms that would actually unfuck the courts would be too partisan—as if the current state of Supreme Court affairs isn’t nakedly partisan.

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Democrats aren’t against court reform. They’re for reforms that leave the Supreme Court exactly as it is. But as Elie Mystal of The Nation pointed out way back in 2020, there will be no progressive gains if the Supreme Court remains exactly as it is.

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Mystal then proceeded to suggest a court expansion that would involve adding 20 seats to the judiciary, arguing that this is the only way to dilute the ideological capture of the Federalist society-appointed judges. It sounds like a provocation, but it isn’t. It’s a sensible response to the realization that weak reforms won’t get progressive legislation that improves people’s lives passed.

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(Listen:The Constitution: A Scam by Rich White Men, for Rich White Men, with Elie Mystal)

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Term limits sound serious until you realize nobody is grandfathering out the six Supreme Court justices who already got there through a 40-year influence operation.

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An ethics code sounds serious until you ask what happens when Clarence Thomas ignores it. The answer is nothing. As of 2023, Thomas has been bound by a code of ethics, but that code of ethics is decorative because the Supreme Court has no way to enforce it. And neither does Congress. Because what can be done if Thomas continues receiving perks from his conservative donors, one of whom has a Nazi fetish?

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Impeachment? In your dreams.

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The only Supreme Court justice ever impeached is a guy named Samuel Chase—and that was 1804. The Senate acquitted him. Lawmakers have not tried to remove a justice since.

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Which brings us to what Democrats have been doing in this century. The political party that ran on abortion in 2020, won, and then did nothing to protect reproductive rights is the same party whose president watched six unelected lawyers dismantle 50 years of precedent.

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His response: issuing a toothless executive order purporting to “protect medication abortion access” with no action steps on how that was actually going to happen. (Jessica Mason Pieklo and I covered this on Boom! Lawyered back in 2022. We were not impressed.)

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(Listen: Biden Finally Did Something About Abortion! Or Did He?)

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The people are ahead of the politicians when it comes to court reform. That’s not nothing, but it’s also not power—not yet. And the gap between what people know needs to happen and what they’re able to make happen is exactly what I keep coming back to.

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I’m going to explore this problem with online educator Blair Imani in an upcoming episode of B*tch, Listen on April 23. (subscribe here)

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Extremely online progressives have more microphones than ever. (And, yes, they’re tinier than ever.) And every day, countless content creators pick them up to explain politics and policies to their audiences. One would think all that talking would translate into some sort of power: Power to keep the government out of our private lives, out of our health care decisions.

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But the truth is, we have less power than we did 50 years ago. At least in 1974 there was a legal right to abortion. Now you can get thrown in jail for looking an abortion pill in the eye.

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I don’t have a clean answer for why more education hasn’t led to more power. But I think it starts with being honest that education and power are not the same thing, and that focusing on one without building the other is how you end up exactly where we are.

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The post Court Reform Is the Only Real Exit from Today’s Political Hellscape appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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An estimated 7 in 10 women who’ve had an abortion identify as Christian. That statistic may surprise you, given the persistent public narrative that to be religious automatically equates to opposing abortion.

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But in fact, many faith traditions support legal abortion, including Christian Americans and the majority of Catholics.

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In March 2026, an Indiana Superior Court acknowledged that truth when it ruled in favor of five anonymous women, a court-approved class of potentially-impacted individuals, and Hoosier Jews for Choice, a grassroots group that supports abortion access, by granting them permanent injunction against the state’s restrictive abortion ban. Their 2022 lawsuit claimed that Indiana’s abortion law—which prohibited abortion with extremely narrow exceptions for rape, incest, severe fetal deformity, or maternal health—violated their religious freedom.

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I believe those women had strong constitutional grounds to sue.

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For a decade, I led the Faith and Progressive Policy Initiative at the Center for American Progress, an independent, non-partisan policy institute. Indiana’s abortion ban is based on a narrow theological belief that life begins at conception. The law ignores not only medical science but also the state’s rich diversity of religious beliefs by enshrining into law one religious doctrine and imposing it on everyone, regardless of their faith.

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Judaism allows abortion

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About one-third of Indianans identify as evangelical Christians, according to Pew Research. Another 16 percent are Catholic; 14 percent are mainline and/or Black Protestant; and 3 percent practice other faiths, including Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. One-third of people in Indiana claim no religious affiliation.

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Looking at these numbers, it’s not hard to see that Indiana’s abortion ban wrongfully imposed a particular theological belief on a religiously diverse population.

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Jewish law, for example, does not view the fetus as a person. A number of Protestant teachings hold that abortion is a personal decision. And many Islamic teachings suggest abortion in the first 120 days of pregnancy is allowable.

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The Indiana lawsuit emphasized this diversity and successfully argued that it’s unconstitutional for a state to pick one religious doctrine and harden it into law. Doing so denies Americans not just bodily autonomy, but also freedom of faith and conscience.

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A plain reading of the Constitution shows that the Indiana abortion ban violates both parts of the First Amendment. It violates the establishment clause, because it abandons the state’s neutrality concerning religion and, in essence, creates a state religion. It also violates the free exercise clause, because it disallows certain people from acting according to their religious faith and conscience.

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The Indiana case was deemed a class action lawsuit, which means that any Indiana resident whose religious beliefs direct them to have an abortion can now do so. The ruling makes clear that people should not be forced to choose between their health care and their religious beliefs.

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Yet the process for claiming an exemption is not clear.

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According to Liz Reiner Platt, who leads the Law, Rights and Religion Project at Union Theological Seminary, Indiana’s religious exemption applies to patients, not providers. Given the strict penalties imposed on providers by Indiana’s abortion ban, it’s unclear how willing they will be to treat patients who come to them for an abortion.

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Religious freedom cuts both ways

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In recent years, religious freedom lawsuits have mostly come from conservative groups, with the goal of restricting bodily autonomy.

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The Alliance Defending Freedom, a conservative Christian legal advocacy organization, represented a Colorado baker who refused to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding. The Supreme Court ruled in favor of the baker in 2018.

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A few years before that, the justices sided with the craft store Hobby Lobby, which refused to provide contraceptive health coverage for its employees because its owners believed providing coverage for contraception violated their “sincerely held” religious beliefs, including that “life begins at conception.”

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Today, Hobby Lobby’s estimated 26,000 female employees have to pay out of pocket if they want prescription birth control.

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In 2011, 12 anti-abortion nurses sued in federal court for the right to decline care for abortion patients in New Jersey hospitals. In this case, the nurses and hospital reached an agreement that allowed the nurses to opt out of providing even routine post-abortion care like taking temperatures and providing pain medication. The hospital had to hire more nurses to fulfill the nurses’ duties—at an estimated cost of about $280,000 a year.

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However, in the nearly four years since the Supreme Court ruled against its own decision in Roe v. Wade, which recognized afederal constitutional right to abortion, multi-faith coalitions, Jewish mothers, congregations, and others have filed more than a dozen lawsuits against strict abortion bans in eight states.

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These plaintiffs have argued their states’ abortion laws violate their right to freely practice their religion. Faith leaders are participating in these lawsuits, arguing that abortion bans hinder their ability to counsel those who come to them for guidance on reproductive health issues.

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Rev. Traci Blackmon of the United Church of Christ, for instance, is the lead plaintiff in a 2023 pending suit against Missouri’s abortion ban. “Integral to [Blackmon’s] faith is her belief that God is a God of choice,” the lawsuit argues, “that people are called on to wrestle with complex decisions, and that individuals should have the autonomy to determine what happens to their own bodies.“

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Pro-choice Christians

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Religious leaders have long supported abortion rights.

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In the 1970s, before abortion became legal nationwide, the Clergy Consultation Service—a network of ministers and Jewish rabbis—provided spiritual guidance and helped people find abortion care.

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One of those people was a teenage girl named Loey Powell, who was counseled by a minister who helped her get a legal abortion in New York. Powell later became a minister herself.

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“This is not an easy situation,” she told NPR in 2017. “There are reasons why we need to support the decision that women come to that we don’t have one religious view, one theological perspective on the issue of abortion.”

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The Southern Baptist convention passed a resolution in 1971 calling for abortion to be legal, based on the importance of individual conscience. In 1981, its leaders published a pamphlet that read in part, “It is questionable that Christian love and justice would be served by extremely restrictive laws which do not give conscientious people with proper medical advice the opportunity to choose when they are faced with very grave moral dilemmas related to abortion.”

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America was founded on the principle of religious freedom. It’s the First Amendment to the Constitution; one of our nation’s core values is freedom of conscience.

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Yet, lawsuits claiming a religious right to abortion are facing strong headwinds. In 2024, a Kentucky judge dismissed one such suit, ruling that because the plaintiffs weren’t pregnant when they sued, they couldn’t show they’d been harmed and therefore had no legal standing to pursue a case. However, an appeals court sent the case back to the judge, where it is now being argued again.

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Litigation is slow: A civil lawsuit usually takes between 1-3 years to make its way through the courts. If a person waits until they’re pregnant to sue for their right to abortion, odds are high they’ll give birth before a ruling is issued.

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Religion claims can crack open the door

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Being forced to sue for a religious exemption to a law is no way to get essential reproductive care. It stigmatizes abortion, making it an outlier in health care, when in truth it is basic care and part of a continuum of care for more than half of our nation’s people.

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Religious freedom claims also shine an unwanted spotlight on those who seek an abortion. For instance, the women suing the state of Indiana had to reveal intimate details about their sexual lives in order to legally prove to the court that their concerns were not hypothetical and that the ban had caused them real harm.

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One woman revealed she had refrained from sex with her husband out of fear she could have a medically difficult pregnancy that would endanger or end her life.

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Another woman revealed that she wanted another child but got an IUD because she was over 40 and worried about an unhealthy, dangerous pregnancy that she would not be allowed to terminate.

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“I don’t want to die and leave my other kids with no mom,” she said.

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Still, at a time when abortion care is virtually nonexistent in many states, any strategy that cracks open the door is welcome. In a pluralistic democracy like the United States, the Indiana ruling is a step in the right direction for both abortion rights and religious freedom.

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The post Abortion is a Religious Freedom: Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Abortion, Religious, Freedom:, Opinion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Abortion-is-a-Religious-Freedom-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/16/abortion-is-a-religious-freedom-opinion/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 10:05:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "179072", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Simplify Patient Management: Use Gottman Tools, Not Just EMR Systems", "title_slug": "simplify-patient-management-use-gottman-tools-not-just-emr-systems", "title_hash": "aa115cf467f3872a42213e160dc8e284", "summary": "Discover why Gottman's tools can be effective for patient management. \nThe post Simplify Patient Management: Use Gottman Tools, Not Just EMR Systems appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Discover why Gottman's tools can be effective for patient management.

The post Simplify Patient Management: Use Gottman Tools, Not Just EMR Systems appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Simplify, Patient, Management:, Use, Gottman, Tools, Not, Just, EMR, Systems", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Checkup_Pro_TherapistSingingUp.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/emr-systems-gottman-tools-patient-management/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 09:36:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "179071", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Coach: AI Relationship Advice", "title_slug": "dating-coach-ai-relationship-advice", "title_hash": "1ac482b47becf020784d2c6e4a9d4d10", "summary": "Can a dating coach powered by AI really help you find love? Explore what LLMs can get right about relationship advice, and what the science says works.\nThe post Dating Coach: AI Relationship Advice appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Can a dating coach powered by AI really help you find love? Explore what LLMs can get right about relationship advice, and what the science says works.

The post Dating Coach: AI Relationship Advice appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Dating, Coach:, Relationship, Advice", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "31", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-1192662638-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/dating-coach-ai-relationship-advice/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 09:36:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "178970", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Living with a Woman, Part 2: Moving Her In", "title_slug": "living-with-a-woman-part-2-moving-her-in", "title_hash": "a1f8a764f7c511739daf20f621f2fc49", "summary": "You’ll move in with your girl. But who moves in with whom? And how do you manage money, chores, and all the things? This guide lays it all sensibly out.\nThis is the second installment in my ‘living with a woman’ series.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"moving$ You’ll move in with your girl. But who moves in with whom? And how do you manage money, chores, and all the things? This guide lays it all sensibly out.

This is the second installment in my ‘living with a woman’ series.

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", "keywords": "Living, with, Woman, Part, Moving, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "32", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/living-with-a-woman-pt-2-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/living-woman-part-2-moving-her", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 09:23:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "178969", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Deal With Anxiety", "title_slug": "how-to-deal-with-anxiety", "title_hash": "4ce69be37bd07dc7ccd7eeed5f3c0452", "summary": "A Guy's Guide to Dealing With Anxiety — Everything You Need to Know", "content": "Racing thoughts. Trouble concentrating. Fear of the unknown. Fixating on the worst possible outcomes.\r\nSound familiar?\r\nIf so, you might just be experiencing symptoms of anxiety, a mental health issue that one in five men is affected by, according to Edward-Elmhurst Health.\r\nAnxiety can present in a variety of different intensities; it typically manifests as an overall feeling of uneasiness that can present itself in a slew of different ways.\r\nAccording to Vladimire Calixte, founder of Therapy For Black Men, anxiety in men can manifest in various physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms, often affecting their overall well-being and relationships.\r\nBut what does full-fledged anxiety look like for men and how does it impact one’s life?\r\n“When we hear the word ‘anxiety,’ we typically think about feeling afraid, nervous, or jumpy,” said Dr. Eran Magen, founder of Parenting for Humans and CEO of Early Alert. “While these elements can all be part of how people experience anxiety, it's important to realize anxiety can also show up in other, more subtle ways.”\r\nRELATED: The Mental Health Basics All Men Should Know \r\nGiven that anxiety is not the easiest thing to talk about — particularly amongst men — we’re using this space to review and discuss steps men can take to better identify anxiety’s symptoms and better manage it as they move forward to lead their best lives.\r\n\r\nHow Anxiety Shows Up in Men\r\n\r\nWe know anxiety can manifest itself within the body in a multitude of different ways — affecting mental, physical, and emotional health — and because its influence can be so consistent and pervasive, the “normalization” of anxiety within one’s body and mind can make it hard to detect as anxiety.\r\n“Anxiety often manifests as an inability to stay in the present moment, causing us to get stuck in loops of dwelling on the past or catastrophizing about the future,” says Shira Lazar, co-founder of Peace Inside Live. “When this happens, our brain shifts into the sympathetic ‘fight-or-flight’ mode rather than the parasympathetic ‘rest’ mode, making us more reactive, easily triggered, and easily distracted.”\r\nThese symptoms, Lazar says, “can lead to poor sleep, digestive issues, and difficulty concentrating. Over time, anxiety can impact our ability to work effectively, enjoy our relationships, and maintain overall happiness. It can also lead to nervous habits such as nail biting, jaw clenching, and chronic pain.”\r\nAccording to author and crisis counselor Lisa Sugarman, other physical effects of anxiety include increased heart rate and high blood pressure brought on by stress that can turn into hyperventilation or shortness of breath.\r\n“Prolonged stress of emotional pressure can also lead to stomach issues or loss of appetite along with muscle aches, tension, and headaches,” Sugarman says. “It can also cause a disruption in our sleep and can also — in some cases — lead to substance abuse as a way to cope, so there's a lot more attached to anxiety than meets the eye.”\r\nRELATED: Things We Do That Are Bad for Our Mental Health \r\nAnd that’s what can make anxiety all the more sinister: Not only does it affect different areas of one’s overall health, it can also lead to seemingly unrelated consequences that stem from men grappling with anxiety without realizing they’re experiencing anxiety.\r\n“In men, anxiety can also show up as anger or aggression, which can look like general agitation or a stormy mood,” Magen says. “But it can also look like explosive reactions to seemingly minor frustrations.”\r\nNow, if you experience any of these symptoms, does it mean you have anxiety? No — and to be clear — an anxiety diagnosis should be achieved by speaking with a therapist or another licensed medical professional.\r\nBut assuming you do identify with the symptoms, your identification can be the catalyst for you to put a magnifying glass over the areas of your life where the symptoms are bubbling up. From there, you can conduct a deeper dive of self to better understand the root of what you’re experiencing.\r\nRELATED: What to Do if You Think You Have a Mental Health Issue \r\nAccording to Calixte, the following is a breakdown of the different ways anxiety shows up in men and how it can affect them:\r\nPhysical Symptoms\r\nIncreased Heart Rate: Men may experience a racing heart or palpitations.Sweating: Excessive sweating, particularly in stressful situations.Trembling or Shaking: Noticeable physical tremors or shakes.Shortness of Breath: Difficulty breathing or a feeling of being suffocated.Muscle Tension: Persistent muscle aches and stiffness.Fatigue: Constant tiredness or exhaustion, despite adequate rest.Sleep Disturbances: Insomnia or restless sleep patterns.Digestive Issues: Stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea, or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).\r\nEmotional Symptoms\r\nExcessive Worry: Persistent and uncontrollable worrying about various aspects of life.Restlessness: Feeling on edge, irritable, or easily agitated.Fear and Panic: Experiencing intense fear or panic attacks.Difficulty Concentrating: Trouble focusing or maintaining attention.\r\nBehavioral Symptoms\r\nAvoidance: Avoiding social situations, work, or activities that trigger anxiety.Controlling Behavior: Attempting to control the environment and routines to reduce unpredictability.Rigid Thinking: Insisting on things being done a certain way to avoid anxiety triggers.Irritability: Quick to anger or frustration, especially when plans are disrupted.Social Withdrawal: Withdrawing from social interactions and relationships.Overcompensation: Overworking or engaging in excessive physical activity to distract from anxious thoughts.\r\nEffects on Personal Well-Being\r\nMental Health: Chronic anxiety can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and a sense of helplessness.Physical Health: Long-term anxiety increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases, chronic pain, and weakened immune system.Sleep Quality: Poor sleep exacerbates anxiety, creating a vicious cycle.\r\nEffects on Relationships\r\nCommunication Issues: Difficulty expressing feelings and fears can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.Intimacy Problems: Anxiety can cause sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, leading to strained intimate relationships.Isolation: Men may withdraw from partners, friends, and family, leading to loneliness and decreased social support.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk to a Partner About Your Mental Health\r\nEffects on Work and Productivity\r\nPerformance: Anxiety can impair concentration, decision-making, and productivity, leading to underperformance at work.Absenteeism: Increased sick days or avoidance of work-related tasks.Job Satisfaction: Chronic anxiety can reduce job satisfaction and motivation.\r\n“Most men believe — and are taught by society — that they must be tough no matter what and to not ask for help,” Calixte says. “It’s crucial for men to recognize the symptoms and effects of anxiety, to seek appropriate help, and develop effective coping strategies for managing anxiety and improving quality of life.”\r\n\r\nHow to Manage Anxiety Effectively\r\n\r\nWhile anxiety isn’t something that can be cured, its effects can be better navigated through therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and daily mindfulness exercises — all of which require a willingness and participation from the individual in order to be effective.\r\nDespite needing a prescription for medication or a referral for a therapist — if it’s determined you have anxiety — there are several free ways to work at better managing it. For many, those ways are simply getting back to the basics of what helps their minds and bodies function properly.\r\n“Getting enough sleep, eating well, staying hydrated, moving your body, and spending time outdoors are vital,” Lazar says. “For me, mindfulness practices like meditation are crucial for returning to the present moment when I feel overwhelmed. Breathing techniques, such as box breathing [breathing for specific timed intervals] have been scientifically proven to shift the brain from a fight-or-flight state to a more restful and calm state, and journaling helps me process my emotions and focus on gratitude, which is proven to create new neural pathways.”\r\nRELATED: Signs You're a Healthy Guy\r\nManaging anxiety is thus more about getting back to safety within the body. How to get there depends on the preferences of the individual, but one thing remains consistent: Anxiety is the body in a dysregulated state with its host searching for stability.\r\n“Anxiety can be managed by addressing root causes or by managing symptoms,” Magen says. “Possible root causes include genetics, unhelpful thinking habits, and exposure to too much stress. Genetics are hard to change, but thinking habits and exposure to stress can be changed.”\r\nFurther adding to anxiety’s complexities is that it can create what Magen calls a “self-reinforcing loop.”\r\n“Poor sleep — for example — can make us more emotionally reactive, which can hurt relationships, which can lead to loneliness or fear of loneliness, which can then circle back and hurt our sleep,” he says. “Poor sleep can be managed by improving sleep hygiene — going to sleep at a regular time, avoiding screens and caffeine before bedtime. Constant worrying can be managed through therapy or medication. Anger outbursts can be managed by learning anger-management techniques through classes or therapy. There exists a number of free resources available to help with most aspects of anxiety.”\r\nRELATED: How to Get Better Sleep \r\nIf you’re unsure where to start, Magen suggests focusing on the core elements of sleep, exercise, nutrition and socialization.\r\n“Start by doing what you can to get a good amount of sleep, moving vigorously at least a couple of times a week, eating reasonable amounts of food that is mostly unprocessed, drinking mostly water, and connecting with — or at least being near — other people,” he says.\r\nAccording to Sugarman, the following is a breakdown of the different techniques men can explore to better manage their anxiety:\r\nCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier ways of thinking and behaving.Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like mindfulness and meditation can help reduce anxiety by promoting relaxation and helping individuals stay present.Exercise & Movement: Regular physical activity can reduce anxiety levels by releasing endorphins and improving overall physical health.Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and reducing caffeine and alcohol intake can positively impact anxiety levels.Breathing Exercises: Techniques such as deep breathing or the 4-7-8 breathing method can help calm the nervous system.Medication: In some cases, medication prescribed by a healthcare provider can be effective in managing anxiety.Support Systems: Talking with friends, family, or joining a support group can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.Time Management: Effective time management can reduce stress and anxiety by preventing overwhelming situations.Professional Help: Seeking help from a therapist, counselor, or psychologist can provide tailored strategies and support.Limiting Exposure to Stressors: Identifying and reducing exposure to sources of stress, when possible, can help manage anxiety.\r\n“Combining these methods and finding what works best for each individual can significantly improve our ability to manage anxiety when life gets stressful,” Sugarman says.\r\nThe key is becoming aware of anxiety symptoms and having the courage to address them. Only then can we begin to normalize the idea of men having anxiety, and thus better treat those affected. The more men who can be vocal on the subject, the more we can collectively manage anxiety and overcome it with less stress on ourselves and those around us.\r\n\r\nNormalizing Anxiety in Men\r\n\r\nIt may come as a real shocker, but the best way to normalize anything is to talk about it regularly. There’s a reason psychopaths repeat lies until they themselves believe them: The more something is discussed, the more it becomes normalized. Normalizing anxiety in men abides by the same principles. \r\n“Social media can be a great place to find community for those who struggle with loneliness,” Della Mathew, executive creative director at 22Squared co-leading the NO PAUSE Project says. “It can be an amazing catalyst for important conversations that could spark healing and change.\"\r\nHealing and change that can come from any type of discourse — whether online or in person — by not shying away from the subject of anxiety.\r\nRELATED: Misconceptions About Mental Health Guys Have \r\n“Talking about our anxiety helps normalize both the experience of anxiety and the experience of talking about anxiety,” Magen says. “It can be hard to say ‘I'm feeling anxious’ for the first time, but it gets easier. It helps to remember that it doesn't have to be a big deal — you're not signing up for a diagnosis, rather you’re simply describing your experience. Just like you might say ‘My stomach’s been feeling funny,’ you could say ‘I've been feeling a little anxious these past couple of weeks.’ Most people feel anxious sometimes, and feeling anxious at one point doesn't mean we'll be feeling anxious forever — just like having a stomach ache doesn't mean we'll have poor digestion forever.”\r\nJust as anxiety can create a negative self-reinforcing loop, talking about anxiety in men can create a positive self-reinforcing loop that can help one man better address and manage his anxiety — and in doing so — encourage other men to do the same.\r\n“We can normalize and destigmatize anxiety by creating safe spaces for open discussions and sharing our experiences,” Lazar says. “Vulnerability is key because, although each of us is unique, our experiences are often more similar than we realize. By sharing and listening, we can see that we are not alone in our struggles.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nDos and Don'ts of Mental HealthWhat You Should Know About Having an Anxious Partner\r\nBest Workouts for Mental Health, Revealed", "keywords": "How, Deal, With, Anxiety", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-to-deal-with-anxiety/askmen-lead-image-template-1-1720205740.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-to-deal-with-anxiety.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 09:23:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "178968", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Back Strengthening Exercises", "title_slug": "best-back-strengthening-exercises", "title_hash": "8ff332ae217eb1017a92cec63ec3860a", "summary": "Most guys who frequent the gym have no issues working their mirror muscles. If you’ve ever been to a gym on a Monday, you know this. Dubbed the \"international chest day\" by the internet, Monday is the day when the weight room is full of guys camping out on the bench press (and likely following their bench session up with curls).\r\nBut there is almost always something interesting about the guys who spend so much time benching. They may be able to bench press a respectable amount of weight, but very few of them actually look like they lift.\r\nAnd that’s because most guys focus on training the wrong body parts.\r\nWhen it comes to developing a physique worth noticing — the kind that makes it known that you lift whether you’re wearing a tank top, a hoodie or a coat — you need to develop a big back.\r\nRELATED: Best Back Workout Routines\r\nFrom an aesthetic standpoint, a big, well-developed back is going to have the most dramatic impact — clothed and unclothed. It can fill out even the baggiest of", "content": "Most guys who frequent the gym have no issues working their mirror muscles. If you’ve ever been to a gym on a Monday, you know this. Dubbed the \"international chest day\" by the internet, Monday is the day when the weight room is full of guys camping out on the bench press (and likely following their bench session up with curls).\r\nBut there is almost always something interesting about the guys who spend so much time benching. They may be able to bench press a respectable amount of weight, but very few of them actually look like they lift.\r\nAnd that’s because most guys focus on training the wrong body parts.\r\nWhen it comes to developing a physique worth noticing — the kind that makes it known that you lift whether you’re wearing a tank top, a hoodie or a coat — you need to develop a big back.\r\nRELATED: Best Back Workout Routines\r\nFrom an aesthetic standpoint, a big, well-developed back is going to have the most dramatic impact — clothed and unclothed. It can fill out even the baggiest of clothes and add another dimension to your physique when you’re shirtless.\r\nA well-developed back shows the world that you’re strong, and not in the new age, hit-chest-every-single-day way either. It helps you develop that coveted V-taper look, which also happens to be pretty important when it comes to attracting ladies. A classic V-taper shape is associated with strength and virility.\r\nSo, how do you build your back?\r\nThe back is comprised of a large number of muscles, some of them rather large and some of them rather small. They all play a part in helping us move and lift things every single day, which means they’re used to taking a beating. While some muscle groups, like your arms, can respond to lesser volume, that isn’t the case with the back. You’ve got to treat it to a healthy dose of heavy lifting, and quite a bit of training volume. \r\nKnowing why you need an iron back, and having a vague idea of how to train your back isn’t enough. Which is why I’ve written up a back workout you can start using to blow up your back.\r\n\r\nA Step-by-Step Guide to Building Up Your Back Muscles\r\n\r\nEvery good back routine requires both a warmup, to properly prepare the muscles for what's coming, and a balanced workout comprised of exercises that target the back muscles in all their various planes of motion. In practice, that means both vertical and horizontal pulling exercises. Here's how to start:\r\nPre-Exhaust Superset\r\nWe’re doing these to get your blood flowing and cause a small amount of fatigue. Pre-fatiguing your muscles before heavy compound movements helps muscle growth by increasing the number of muscle fibers you’ll recruit during your workout. Do each exercise back-to-back, rest about 60 seconds and repeat for three rounds. \r\nA1) Band Pull-apart — 3x20A2) Dumbbell Pullover — 3x15\r\nThe Workout \r\nA) Barbell Row — 5x10B) Neutral-Grip Lat Pulldown — 5x12C) Single-Arm Dumbbell Row — 4x10 per sideD) Snatch-Grip Row — 3x8\r\nOn the rows, be sure to let your shoulders completely protract at the bottom of the movement for a bigger range of motion, and take about two minutes of rest between sets.\r\nFor the lat pulldowns, know playing with your hand positioning can dramatically alter the movement (and where you feel it). In this case, using a neutral grip will help you get a bigger stretch in your lats while also hitting your mid- back muscles more effectively. Keep your torso positioned properly: You don’t want to lean back too much and turn this exercise into a rowing variation.\r\nThe single-arm dumbbell row is a classic exercise to build a great back. Be sure to let your shoulders protract at the bottom of the movement for a bigger range of motion. \r\nRest about 90 seconds between each set. If your grip is limiting you, using lifting straps can help tremendously.\r\nWe started with the barbell row, and we’re ending with a variation of it. The snatch-grip row works especially well to widen the back because it places extra emphasis on the lats. Take an extra-wide grip and perform the movement as you would perform a traditional barbell row. Because of the widened grip, your back is going to be forced to work harder, which can lead to better overall growth. Rest about 90 seconds between each set. \r\nBear in mind that the back responds well to more volume. So it would be wise to start doing this back workout a couple of times a week, every single week. The more you train your back, the better your physique will get.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Dumbbell Back ExercisesEffective Arm Workouts for MenThe 10 Best Leg Exercises", "keywords": "Best, Back, Strengthening, Exercises", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-back-strengthening-exercises/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1749569912.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-back-strengthening-exercises.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 09:23:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "178532", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Am I a Fool for Loving a Woman Who Came Back With Another Man’s Child?", "title_slug": "am-i-a-fool-for-loving-a-woman-who-came-back-with-another-mans-child", "title_hash": "0ef253066d85219149527a76ae24f8df", "summary": "A few years ago, while on campus, I met a lady through a friend. We started as friends, and we were supposed to stay that way until feelings began to …", "content": "

A few years ago, while on campus, I met a lady through a friend. We started as friends, and we were supposed to stay that way until feelings began to grow. Feelings don’t usually ask for permission, so when I started wanting more, I told her.

If she had thrown a glass of water in my face instead of rejecting me, it would have felt better. She bluntly told me no. “I am not ready for a relationship,” she said. I asked when she would be, and we never spoke after that.

After someone rejects your proposal, it gets weird to talk to them or even be in the same space. That is exactly what happened to us. Our friendship faded away like it never existed. However, fate brought us back together, gave me the answers I needed, and placed me in a deep dilemma.

When I eventually asked why she had turned me down, she answered, “You don’t look serious with your life.” That one pained me. I was certain I was slowly doing great things, so her response shocked me. But because I liked her, I overlooked the comment and asked to try again.

“Forget about it, and let’s take it from where we left off.”

We were on a call when I heard a baby crying in the background. That was how I found out she had a three-month-old child

“The first time you asked me out, I was already pregnant; that’s why I didn’t accept,” she explained. I asked why she hadn’t told me then. “It’s not an award to announce that my boyfriend and I broke up, got back together, he got me pregnant, and has since gone missing.”

I’ve known heartbreak before. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, more than once. As an empath, instead of gloating at her downfall, I empathized with her. Some days, I stayed on the call and prayed with her for strength; other days, I was her therapist.

Some months later, and we can now joyfully say she is now beam of happiness in my life again. We have talked about it, and she is willing to marry me.

The problem is, I’m not sure about it myself. I have always had reservations about dating or marrying a single mother. Am I being a fool? What if she hasn’t really moved on from her child’s father? What if they reconcile? What if she is taking me for a ride and leaves? I’m not sure if she has romantic feelings for me or if she wants to be with me out of desperation. I don’t know what to do.

", "keywords": ", Fool, for, Loving, Woman, Who, Came, Back, With, Another, Man’s, Child", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "32", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/side-view-man-feeding-baby-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/am-i-a-fool-for-loving-a-woman-who-came-back-with-another-mans-child/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 08:50:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "178531", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Was Preparing to Marry Him While He Was Preparing to Marry Someone Else", "title_slug": "i-was-preparing-to-marry-him-while-he-was-preparing-to-marry-someone-else", "title_hash": "8e2410a1aac9500e3dbd1801ba6ad0ed", "summary": "I wasn’t feeling well, so that weekend I couldn’t go to his house to do chores. He drove to my place and dropped his laundry off and said his laundry …", "content": "

I wasn’t feeling well, so that weekend I couldn’t go to his house to do chores. He drove to my place and dropped his laundry off and said his laundry hadn’t been done for weeks. Yes, I hadn’t done it for two weeks, because I hadn’t been feeling well. He dropped money for detergent and told me he would come for them in the evening.

I was washing a shirt when I felt like I was washing more than just the shirt. “Money?” I asked myself. Slowly, I took it out, and it was a piece of A4 paper folded into six parts.

I carefully opened it so I wouldn’t destroy the paper. I started reading and suddenly felt the urge to sit down. I threw myself on the floor with my mouth open. “No, this can’t belong to him. Whaaat!”

When he got a job in Accra and didn’t have a place to sleep, I shared my room with him. It was just a single-bedroom apartment that I could barely fit in, but I squeezed myself for him to have a place to stay for almost a year. Because of him, my landlord wanted to eject me. When he couldn’t do it directly, he increased my rent just to push me out of the house.

He stayed with me for close to a year before getting his own place, but he didn’t pay utilities for a single month. He didn’t pay for what he ate or even give me any allowance for the things I was doing for him. He said he didn’t have money. He had come to Accra to start all over again, so I should be patient.

Whenever he talked about marriage, he said he would be the luckiest person ever because he was the one who got me. I won’t lie, he treated me very well, which is why I could do everything for him without complaining. When he finally got his place, I was the one who went there to clean it up and helped arrange the place. The landlord asked him, “Is she your wife?” He answered without any hesitation, “We are not married yet, but very soon we will be married.”

What I found in his pocket that day was a dowry list. I sat shaking. I read it over and over again, trying to see if I could find something that said the list belonged to him. I didn’t find any.

I didn’t ask any questions or act in a way that showed I had seen something. Weeks later, he called and asked in a sober voice, “Did you see any paper in my pocket while washing my clothes?” I asked, “Paper? What paper is that?” He answered, “No problem. I will look for it.”

He walked like a guilty man and talked with a voice that had lost its grace. He knew I knew something but wasn’t talking about it. One day, he told me he was traveling to his hometown, where he used to live before he got a job in Accra. His parents lived there. He said he was going to visit them. I told him, “I would like to go with you. Don’t you think it’s about time you introduced me to your parents?

He said no. “Not this one. Let me go and come back so we go the next time.”

While he slept that night, I picked up his phone and went through it—something I had sworn never to do in my love life. The lady was called Edith, but he had saved the number as “Eddie.” I shook my head in disbelief. I had seen calls from that number several times. I didn’t ask questions, and he didn’t explain, even when the number called at night while we were sleeping.

I woke him up, shaking with disappointment and fear of losing him. “Who’s Eddie? You’re doing all this with me while you have Eddie in the picture? What did I do wrong not to deserve to be your wife? Tell me.”

The night was calm and serene, so every little noise you made traveled far and wide. He tried to shush me, telling me to lower my voice. I screamed louder so the night could be a witness to what was going on. “Tell me! What did I do wrong?”

He said they were young when his parents and the lady’s parents entered into an agreement that their children were going to marry each other. “It was a family decision made when we were young,” he said. “I thought it was a joke until they told me I had no choice but to marry her.”

I screamed, “Liar!” He said, “You can speak to my mom and ask her about it.” I said calmly, “Great, exactly what I want to hear. Put your mom on the phone. She’s a woman. I want to ask what she would do if she were in my situation.”

For several minutes, he held his phone tightly without going through to find his mom’s number. I locked us inside the room and hid the keys. “You are not going anywhere until you let me talk to your mom.”

He slept while I sat in the chair, brooding over the death of the future I thought I had. Morning passed us by. He asked where I had placed the keys. I asked if it was time to talk to his mom. Afternoon passed us by; he was getting aggressive. I said, “You’ve killed me once. Do it again and finish me totally.” Evening came. He said I was killing him with hunger and that he was going to break the door. I said, “Eat your lies. It’s enough to feed you for ages.”

He started getting aggressive with me, but I had lost my fear of him. I didn’t care what he would do. I wished he could even hurt me so I could make a police case against him. I had nothing, and I wanted him to have nothing too. All day, his phone kept ringing. Eddie called. Others called. He switched off the phone.

In the evening, he started hitting the door, asking those outside to help break the lock. While he begged them to help, I also said I had the keys, so they shouldn’t bother. It was the landlord who eventually coerced me to open the door. I told him the whole story, and he asked, “Ah, how can you treat a woman like this? Do you want to kill her?”

I retorted, while in tears, “Daddy, I’m already dead. I can’t feel my heart, my body, everything. I’m not alive.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He asked me to let it go and said that God might have something greater for me. It was hard, but I walked out of that house and never turned back. The landlord didn’t lie. It took less than two years for God to restore everything I had lost. I got married just two years after he had gotten married to ‘Eddie.’

My first child is seven years old today, but guess what? They are still looking for their first child. I’m not happy or sad about it, but it’s part of my story, and I had to tell it.

—Joy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I’d been trying to learn how to drive for a very long time, though I didn’t have a car. My boyfriend had one, but I didn’t ask him to teach me. I only asked him to help me register for a driving school. He said, “What can they teach you that I can’t teach you? When I’m free, I will do it.”

He would say he would do it when he was free, but this guy was never free. I pushed and nagged and complained until he decided to teach me. The first day was scary, but I did my best. He trained me in a park, so it was just fun and vibes.

The fourth day didn’t go so well because we ended up fighting. He was never patient with me. A small mistake, and he would talk to me like he was talking to a child. On the fifth day, he stopped teaching me and drove home because I was annoying him.

I apologized to him and even gave him makeup sex the way he wanted it before he agreed to do it again. I should have stopped and found another way to learn. The next day, I hit the side of a container shop at the edge of the park and broke the light and sustained some minor scratches.

He quickly got out of the car while yelling as if it was his left kidney that had hit the container. “You see what you’ve done? What is wrong with you? Turn left and you’re turning right. Step on the brake and you’re stepping on the accelerator. You’ll pay!”

He made me pay every penny of the repairs and bought a new light. He said he was punishing me so that next time I would be careful. It wasn’t intentional. It was an accident, but the love of my life made me pay every penny with the little savings I made during my national service.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Can you tell me with all certainty that this relationship has a future? Because as I write this, I’m thinking of wishing him well in his next relationship. I’m hurt. I’m seriously damaged, more than the damage I caused to the car. How could he? Even when I said I didn’t have money, he nearly chewed me alive. And he says he loves me?

—Linda

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

Seven months ago, I shared my story about having a mother and not having a mother. I read almost every comment, and so many people asked me the same question: why wouldn’t I go and look for her, to hear what she had to say? Because maybe, just maybe, she was not at fault.

Right then, I decided for myself that I needed to hear my mother’s side of the story. There are always two sides. I discussed it with my close friends, and they encouraged me to go. I couldn’t talk to my siblings or my stepmother about it because I knew they wouldn’t let me. So I chose to hide it from them and take that risk.

First, I called one of my mother’s sisters. We had grown closer during my father’s burial. She actually liked me, and she was nothing like her sister. She asked me to visit, and I agreed. It was from her that I learned everything I know about my mother. Occasionally she would apologise on her sister’s behalf, “Ama, I don’t think your mother is normal. How can she neglect her own blood for 25 years? And if we ask her to look for you, she stops talking to us.” I was comforted that at least someone from my mother’s side was thinking of me.

She reminded me that when I came to Accra, I would have to see my mother. I resisted. She refused to listen to any excuse I had.

Around the time my father died, when everyone was calling to sympathize with me, I didn’t receive even one message or a phone call from her. Nothing.

So I called her and told her she was a very wicked woman. The conversation did not end well that day.

On the 6th of October, around 3:16 in the morning, I boarded a bus to Accra. I was filled with emotions I never saw coming. Somewhere in between that journey, I began to miss my dad and my grandmother so badly.

I got to Accra very exhausted, but sleep refused to come. I kept tossing and turning, wondering how my life would be the next morning when I finally came eye to eye with my mother after so many years. What kind of feeling would overwhelm me? Would I break down and beg her to hug me so I could finally feel the warmth of a mother’s embrace?

I was accompanied by my Aunt, her husband, and an elder woman. I remember my mother’s expression when she saw me. It was indifferent, as if I was the reason life had taken something from her. As tradition demanded, we greeted her and told her our mission.

She spoke first. “Your father didn’t treat me right when I was heavily pregnant and could barely move my legs. He was a very mean man. You are my daughter, I know deep in my heart,” she said, pointing to her chest. “That is all you need to know. I did not abandon you.”

She had remarried, and her husband spoke next. He blamed me. “Why didn’t you come to look for your mother when you were old enough, like 14 years old? Is it not your mates who go and look for their parents at that age?” I sat there, pained, while he tainted the image of my father. “In fact, you should beg your mother on behalf of your father for treating her badly when she was pregnant. It was you she was pregnant with after all.”

I pinched myself a thousand times, but I was still there. If there was any fight left in me, I gave it all out that day. It was a battle of words. He asked me who raised me.

I looked at him and said, “Your wife, who was supposed to raise me, ran away. So what do you think? I raised myself.” Before he could open his miuth to speak again, I interrupted “You are a bad elder and an even worse husband. If you were any good, you would have spoken sense into your wife.” I think that one riled him, he gave it to me, and I gave it right back. He was not my father after all, and I don’t know who even sent him.

In the midst of exchanging words, my mother interjected and asked me to leave her home before I caused any more trouble. “I don’t want you as my daughter. Ei, come and leave.”

The words hit me, then bounced, as I looked at her and then her husband. I told her, “Because you came here and God has given you three more children, that is why you are tough. If you don’t want me, me too, I do not want you.”

Even as I stumbled out of the compound and almost out of earshot, I could hear her hurl insults at me. The last one I heard broke my resolve. I felt like a walking dead person. I cried until my eyes hurt.

As I stepped out of her house, I deleted her contact and her pictures from my phone. We don’t need each other.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

God bless Aunt Aba. She hosted me for three weeks and, every day and night, she catered for me.

As for the womb donor, she didn’t attend any church activities during that period because I was still around. Maybe she thought I would question her faith as a Christian, or maybe she simply did not want to set her eyes on me again. Either way, God in heaven will take care of that.

Now I am back in my father’s house, the only place I feel loved. Maybe my father was that kind of devil. Maybe he was. But couldn’t she extend me some grace?

—Peace

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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I was dating a pastor when I was twenty years old. It started as prayers and later sauntered into, “God says you’re the one for me.” I didn’t hear God say that to me, but I agreed to date him, hoping what God had said would lead to a beautiful ending.

He was my first in everything—hugging, holding hands, kissing, and even sex. The day he broke me, we prayed together. He used the anointing oil on my private part and said God had opened the way for him to cross the Red Sea. It was hard watching him do that to me. I had a lot of thoughts about him as a man of God, but I had come to love him more than I ever could, so I didn’t question his actions.

He would come for me at school and take me to his place for the weekend. Sometimes he would be in church leading the service while I lay naked on his bed waiting for him. He would use the rest of the anointing oil he used for the service while we got intimate.

Sometimes he smeared it on his ‘thing’ and called it blessed. Sometimes he poured it into me and said the way had been parted for him to cross. I enjoyed it. I felt special. I felt like I was the only one on earth who could witness that part of him.

We dated secretly for three years when one day he introduced another lady to the church as the one he was going to marry. The lady belonged to the church from another city. I was devastated. I saw my world coming down on me. I couldn’t wait for the service to end. I went home and cried.

We met after the service and said I was too young and that, as the father of the church, the members had been yearning to see their mother. “That role needs a mature head and would be too much for you. That’s why I chose her.”

I listened. I looked into his eyes like I was searching for the connection to his soul. He said, “You’re the one I truly love. The only one I anoint before intimacy.”

I didn’t leave him. I stayed under his “anointing” for a reason I myself didn’t know. He had that woman he introduced to the church, but they barely went anywhere together. I was the one in his car. I was the one in his bed. I was the one watching from the corner of the room while he learned the Bible for the next sermons.

This went on until he finally got married and the lady moved in with him. It became difficult for us to meet like we used to, but once in a while, we escaped, and when we did, it felt like we belonged to the wilderness.

When I completed university and started my national service, it became very hard for the two of us to meet. It had to take careful planning and long travels between towns before we met. So we seldom met, and we hardly talked. It got to a point we could only talk once in several months, but the fire between us never died down.

When we met by chance or by serendipity, he “anointed” me in special places. Because of the distance between us and the difficulty in meeting often, my heart moved on and opened up to another person. We lost touch completely. The wind of life blew us in different directions.

Years later, Alfred made me his wife in a wedding that invited everyone from my past. The pastor also came. And because he was my childhood pastor, we gave him the honor to preach that day. I watched him as he did his thing. He had too much aura when he preached. His words came out with authority and anointing. You’ll laugh, you’ll listen, you’ll fall in love with his preaching.

We hugged after the service, and everything came back to me again. I yearned for the “anointing,” but I was no longer that single woman who could go to him at will.

Three years into my marriage, nothing was happening when it came to childbirth. I was frustrated. I was scared I would lose my husband. I started visiting places, wherever it promised to make conception very easy. One day, the pastor came to mind, and I texted him. He spoke like a changed man, soft and gentle. He asked about my marriage, and I told him all was well, but we were looking for a child.

He said, “I have the keys to your womb. You remember I was the first? When I anointed it, it became mine.”

He said it like a joke, but I knew him too well to believe that it wasn’t a joke. I asked him, “So what should I do?” He answered, “Seek the face of the key maker.”

A week later, I was in bed with him. He poured the anointing oil into me and smeared his ‘erected angle’ with it too. We had the moment of our lives. I wasn’t doing it because I believed him. I was doing it because I missed what we used to have. He said I was free. I said I hoped it was true.

Three months later, I was pregnant.

I was shocked and happy at the same time. I showed the results to my husband; his innocence showed through. He was happier. He gave the child a name that day. In my mind, I had received what I had been looking for, so there was no need to call the pastor again, but he called. He asked, “Are you telling me what I did for you didn’t work? Then you better come for a repeat if you really want the seed.”

I was thrown into fear. “Indeed, he has the key? What does that supposed to mean? That anytime I need a child, I have to go to him first?”

I lied to him. “No, it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe we need patience and see what the Lord can do.”

He insisted I should see him. I’m not going again. I’ve never been this sure about cutting the thread that runs through us than I am today. But my fear is this: what if it’s true? What if it’s not a coincidence, but my womb was opened because of him?

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

That’s the question that keeps me awake at night. I know I’ve committed a sin on several occasions. I’m ready to move away now, but what if he gets to know and he blocks my womb once again? Can a man have this power over a woman’s fertility this way? What is the way forward for me if that’s the case? Honestly, I’m scared!

—Perpetual

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Pastor, Dated, Years, Ago, Says, Has, The, Keys, Womb", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "32", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/194580.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/a-pastor-i-dated-years-ago-says-he-has-the-keys-to-my-womb/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-16 08:50:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "178289", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Doctors Can Refuse To Treat LGBTQ+ Patients in Several States—These Religious Exemption Laws Lead to Drops in HIV Testing", "title_slug": "doctors-can-refuse-to-treat-lgbtq-patients-in-several-statesthese-religious-exemption-laws-lead-to-drops-in-hivtesting", "title_hash": "6ddfccc2590136c89faee5a918085e71", "summary": "The laws compound existing health-care disparities queer communities disproportionately face. \nThe post Doctors Can Refuse To Treat LGBTQ+ Patients in Several States—These Religious Exemption Laws Lead to Drops in HIV Testing appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

An increasing number of U.S. states have passed laws that allow health-care providers—including doctors, nurses, and pharmacists—to refuse to treat patients based on their personal or religious beliefs. While these “conscientious objection” laws have long existed for issues such as abortion, their effects on LGBTQ+ people have not been well studied.

As of April 2026, 11 U.S. states have enacted “conscientious objection” laws specifically targeting LGBTQ+ people. As public health researchers who study the effects of public policies on the health of LGBTQ+ people, we wanted to examine how these laws have affected the roughly 1 in 5 LGBTQ+ Americans living in a state where a provider can legally refuse them care.

Specifically looking at sexual minorities, our research found that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer adults living in states that passed “conscientious objection” laws were 28 percent less likely to report receiving a first-time HIV test, compared to peers in states without “conscientious objection” laws. These laws did not affect HIV testing rates for heterosexual adults.

Similarly, LGBQ+ adults in affected states were 71 percent more likely to report being in fair or poor health after the laws passed, compared to those in states without the laws.

Measuring the harm

We analyzed data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on the health outcomes of more than 109,000 lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and heterosexual adults from 2016 to 2018. We focused on eight states, comparing two that enacted “conscientious objection” laws during that period (Illinois and Mississippi) and six that did not (Louisiana, Minnesota, Ohio, Texas, Wisconsin, and Virginia).

To isolate the effect of the laws themselves, we compared changes in health outcomes among LGBQ+ and heterosexual adults living in states with or without religious exemptions to health care, both before and after the laws passed. Making all these comparisons at once allowed us to identify differences in health outcomes due to the laws rather than preexisting differences between states.

We found that “conscientious objection” laws were associated with significant harms to LGBQ+ adults, including a decline in HIV testing and a worsening of self-rated health.

Our findings highlight how laws permitting clinicians to refuse to provide health care to LGBQ+ patients deepen existing health disparities. Notably, “conscientious objection” laws are just one type of policy restricting LGBTQ+ people’s access to health care.

The Trump administration has slashed budgets for the federal Ryan White HIV/AIDS program and state-level AIDS drugs assistance programs, reducing the availability of HIV prevention and treatment services. States have also moved to restrict access to gender-affirming care for both minors and adults, despite its additional benefit of helping to reduce new HIV infections. Employers have successfully declined to provide insurance coverage of highly effective HIV prevention medications under religious freedom laws.

Worsening disparities

LGBTQ+ people already face greater health challenges than their heterosexual peers, including higher rates of unmet health care needs and discrimination in medical settings.

HIV preexposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, can lower the risk of contracting HIV from sex by 99 percent. However, patients are required to receive an HIV test before PrEP can be prescribed. If providers are unwilling or unable to engage with LGBQ+ patients on their sexual health, people who could benefit most from HIV prevention tools, such as PrEP, may never receive them.

Moreover, since the risk of contracting HIV is closely linked to the social determinants of health, such as having safe and stable housing and employment, barriers to HIV testing could further widen health gaps.

Similarly, the worsening in self-rated health among LGBQ+ adults suggests that the cumulative effect of these laws on well-being is real and immediate. A person’s perception of their own health status is one of the strongest predictors of earlier death.

What can be done

Acknowledging the health consequences of “conscientious objection” laws could help policymakers and the public better understand their impact.

A 2026 national study found that Americans were more motivated to support policies that address LGBTQ+ inequality when these laws were framed as improving health inequality rather than economic inequality or sense of belonging. This finding suggests that people perceive health inequality as unjust and are less likely to blame LGBTQ+ individuals for those circumstances.

Health care systems can build more affirming environments that actively reassure LGBTQ+ patients will receive fair and equitable care. This can encourage more timely access to preventive services, such as vaccinations and cancer screenings.

For LGBTQ+ people, knowing your rights as a patient and seeking out LGBTQ+-affirming providers and community health centers can help mitigate some of the harms of restrictive laws. $\"The$

The post Doctors Can Refuse To Treat LGBTQ+ Patients in Several States—These Religious Exemption Laws Lead to Drops in HIV Testing appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Doctors, Can, Refuse, Treat, LGBTQ, Patients, Several, States—These, Religious, Exemption, Laws, Lead, Drops, HIV Testing", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/counter.theconversation.com/content/277828/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/14/doctors-can-refuse-to-treat-lgbtq-patients-in-several-states-these-religious-exemption-laws-lead-to-drops-in-hiv-testing/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-15 07:48:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "177854", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Overrated Workout Moves, According to Fitness Pros", "title_slug": "overrated-workout-moves-according-to-fitness-pros", "title_hash": "71c68ffdb63b47a24da90b01372cff1e", "summary": "These 7 Exercises Are More Hype Than Substance", "content": "If you’re on a health and fitness journey, you may turn to Instagram or TikTok for tips and inspiration. While it can be a source of helpful information, social media also highlights workout moves that may look good on camera but aren’t all that effective – or safe to try on your own without any extra context. \r\n“These platforms often show us flashy, visually appealing exercises that may prioritize aesthetics over proper form and functionality,” says Wendell Albarran, ISSA-certified fitness expert and nutritionist at Real Elevate Fitness. NASM-certified personal trainer, and fitness influencer Victoria Petrella agrees: “People want to try these trendy moves because they see their favorite fitness personalities doing them, but these exercises might not always be the best for achieving their fitness goals.”\r\nRELATED: The Best Shoulder Exercises\r\nCutting through the noise and focusing on the best exercises to get closer to your goals is key. Here are seven overrated workout moves you can skip, according to fitness pros.\r\n \r\n\r\n7 Seriously Overrated Exercises\r\n\r\n1. Bosu Ball Squats\r\nSquatting on a Bosu ball looks impressive at first glance. And challenging your balance can be great for engaging stabilizer muscles. But doing squats on a Bosu makes the actual squatting part less effective and reduces the amount of force you can generate, says Albarran. \r\nIt can also increase your risk of injury if you’re a beginner, and there are better ways to work on balance and stability. “If you want to work on balance and stability, try single-leg squats or lunges with a focus on control and depth,” recommends Albarran.\r\n \r\n2. Smith Machine Squats\r\n \r\nAdd Smith machine squats to your list of squat variations to ditch. This time, it’s for the opposite reason: They don’t engage the stabilizer muscles enough compared to free-weight squats, according to Petrella. \r\nPlus, the fixed bar can also lead to unnatural movement patterns and may lead you to adopt bad form habits over time. “I recommend focusing on free-weight squats or goblet squats for better muscle engagement and functional strength,” says Petrella.\r\n \r\n3. Bench Dips\r\nBoth Petrella and Albarran note that bench tricep dips are overrated, as they can put a lot of strain on your shoulders and wrists. “Bench dips are popular for targeting the triceps but often cause shoulder discomfort or injury because of the awkward angle and strain on the shoulders,” says Albarran, who adds that this move can stress the front of your shoulders too much and lead to discomfort and potential long-term issues if performed incorrectly. \r\nTry close-grip push-ups instead, which allow for a more natural range of motion while working both your triceps and chest muscles. Or go with moves like tricep pushdowns or skull crushers, which isolate your triceps without unnecessary strain.\r\n \r\n4. Burpees\r\nYou may be surprised to see burpees on the list. Sure, they’re great for your whole body and will improve your cardio. But they involve a lot of impact, which can be hard on the joints. Without proper form, it’s easy to get injured performing burpees. “I think there are better, safer ways to get a good cardio workout without the high impact,” says Petrella. \r\nAccording to Luke Jones, movement coach at HERO Movement, moves like burpees should be layered on top of a base of strength, coordination, and mobility: “Without that foundation, most people haven't developed the strength to absorb the impact.”\r\n \r\n5. Crunches\r\nIf you hate sit-ups, rejoice. Crunches are overrated, says Petrella. They only target a small portion of your abs. It’s more effective to focus on exercises that engage your entire core, like planks and leg raises.\r\n6. Russian Twists\r\nBut what about Russian twists, which target the obliques – the side of your ab muscles? \r\n“While Russian twists can be great for oblique strength, they are often done with poor form and too much weight, leading to back injuries,” adds Petrella. There are safer ways to train those muscles, like side plans or cable woodchoppers. \r\n7. Jefferson Curls\r\n \r\nAccording to Jones, exercises like Jefferson curls are often shown without context on social media, which can lead you to believe you should aim to try them right away. \r\nIf you’re unfamiliar with the Jefferson curl, it involves bending your entire spine forward while holding free weights. Unless you’re an athlete, this is an overrated exercise that you shouldn’t attempt without working up to it and being coached.\r\n \r\n“The truth is, it takes time to improve mobility and for joints and connective tissues to adapt. There's a very real risk of doing too much too soon. We don't want to fear-monger and make people feel fragile, but there needs to be a foundation and understanding of risks,” says Jones. \r\n\r\nWorkouts Moves That Are Actually Worth It\r\n\r\n \r\nSo, if movements like the ones above are overrated, what kind of moves should you rely on to gain strength and muscle? It depends on your goals and fitness level, but keeping it simple and building a solid foundation is a good idea, recommends Jones. \r\nPetrella recommends building your workout plan around compound movements that work multiple muscle groups at once – think, deadlifts, bench presses, squats and pull-ups.\r\n \r\n“Incorporating some form of mobility work is also crucial, taking the joints through a full range of motion with a combination of dynamic and more passive stretches,” adds Jones. \r\nThrow in some form of cardio-based training that gets your heart rate up for heart health, and you’ve got a recipe for success. It may not be flashy, but it’s tried-and-tested.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nBest Stretches for Men Over 30Best Back Strengthening ExercisesHow and When to Take Rest Days", "keywords": "Overrated, Workout, Moves, According, Fitness, Pros", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/overrated-workout-moves-according-to-fitness-pros/askmen-lead-image-template-1718976827.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/overrated-workout-moves-according-to-fitness-pros.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-15 06:50:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "177853", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Do Porn Stars Last So Long?", "title_slug": "how-do-porn-stars-last-so-long", "title_hash": "66985fb807f5aa3cbc6b4865178743b6", "summary": "Revealed: The Secret, Stamina-Enhancing Tricks of Male Porn Stars", "content": "We’ve already discussed at great length why porn is not a good or appropriate source of information for real-life sex, but if you spend enough time covering the conversation, you learn something kind of funny: most men realize that the average penis they’re seeing in porn is considerably longer and thicker than the average male penis, so they’re somewhat able to insulate their self-esteem from comparison, but they actually don’t realize one of the most unrealistic aspects of porn: how long the on-camera sex lasts!\r\nThe average porn scene is upwards of 20 minutes long, but study after study on heterosexual sex finds penetrative sex typically lasts a fraction of that time. The Society for Sex Therapy and Research, for example, polled their members on sex duration, and the most common response range was between three and seven minutes. Another, multinational survey conducted by the Journal of Sex Medicine found a median duration of just 5.4 minutes.\r\nAnd while it’s important to point out that porn isn’t exactly an honest representation of real-life sex, it’s also worth noting a serious problem: heterosexual sex typically lasts under ten minutes, but heterosexual women, on average, require about 14 minutes to achieve orgasm. The math, as the young people say, isn’t mathing. \r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nRELATED: How to Last Longer in Bed\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nSo what explains this massive discrepancy? Are male porn stars really just sexual gods walking among us, or is there another explanation? And what can men do to last a little bit longer and hopefully do a better job satisfying their female partners? We did some research into the tricks porn stars (and directors) use to both last longer in bed and appear to last longer in bed, and while some of these are best left to the professionals, the average guy can still learn a thing or two to help improve their (and their partner’s) experience during sex.\r\n\r\nHow Porn Stars Prolong On-Camera Sex\r\n\r\nCamera Trickery\r\nLet’s start with this one right away, so men everywhere can breathe a small sigh of relief: much of pornography’s outrageously lengthy sex duration can be explained by clever editing techniques. In actuality, the performers take breaks throughout the sex scene, masked by clever editing or camera work. Sometimes, what you think is penetrative sex is really just two people going through the motions (“faking it,” as they say), with the camera angles disguising the lack of penetration. At other times, the performers stop penetration at key moments of excitement (often the male performer will tap his female co-star repeatedly, signaling the need for a break) to prolong the scene, leaving it to the producers to edit out these lengthy transitions and give the viewer the appearance of a seamless sex scene.\r\nPerformance Enhancers\r\nIt’s not exactly a scoop to say that male porn stars use (and often abuse) erection-enhancing drugs like Viagra and Cialis, but millions of men out in the real world also rely on little blue pills to enhance their sex lives. The real secret weapon, and one we think should only be used sparingly (if at all) by average guys, is a numbing agent.\r\nNumbing agents work by dulling the nerves in the penis, helping you prolong the duration at the expense of the sensation. If you’re really suffering from premature ejaculation, a numbing agent can be a great aid, especially if you are eventually able to wean yourself off it, but male porn stars often abuse them, using not only creams but even more powerful injections that, if used incorrectly or too frequently, can cause scarring and other lasting damage to the penis.\r\nThe takeaway? If you think you suffer from premature ejaculation, an over-the-counter numbing cream can help you last a little longer and maybe help you build up your sexual self-confidence. \r\nSexual Variety\r\nOne key trick to prolonging the duration of penetrative sex is to vary your tempo. Sex shouldn’t be a race to the finish line, especially if you want the experience to be enjoyable for your partner, so remind yourself to take your time. If your excitement is building up in one particular position or with one particular pace, switch things up and slow things down.\r\nThis is actually one thing porn can teach men, as the average sex scene does tend to feature a lot of variety in terms of position. If you feel like you have more control over your orgasm in missionary than with your partner on top of you, begin with missionary and save the more exciting position for last. Or, if you really want to prolong the pleasure, don’t just vary the sex position; vary the sex act. There’s no law of sex that says that oral sex can only ever be foreplay; in fact, when you need to tamp down your excitement and give yourself a break from penetrative sex, going down on your woman is a great way to keep her excitement high while buying yourself more time.\r\nExperience Builds Self-Confidence\r\nThis isn’t really a trick, or even very surprising, but it’s still a truth about how male porn stars perform so well that you can actually incorporate into your own sex life. Practice really does make perfect, in sex as in all things, and male porn stars get a lot of practice. If you’re a regular Joe, and perhaps especially if you’re not in a relationship and only having sex sporadically, it’s only natural that you’d be incredibly, incredibly excited.\r\nInstead of judging yourself too harshly from a very small sample size, treat sex as a learning experience, something that you (and your partner) can get better at over time, especially as you learn more about each other’s wants and needs. The big mistake not to make is to think your orgasm has to put an end to the sexual fun. If you do orgasm early, that doesn’t give you a free pass to ignore your partner’s pleasure. Instead, show your gratitude by recommitting your attention to pleasuring her with your hands and mouth.\r\nMen tend to overestimate the importance of their penises (shocking!) and underestimate how much pleasure they can give by other means, and once you learn that you don’t have to rely on a single tool to get the job done, you’ll stop putting so much pressure on yourself to perform. Ditching the unrealistic expectations will make you a better lover and help you build the kind of sexual self-confidence that women find genuinely attractive. It just takes practice.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nAverage Penis Size by StateThe Ultimate Penis Grooming GuideHow to Not Cum So Fast", "keywords": "How, Porn, Stars, Last, Long", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-do-porn-stars-last-so-long/askmen-lead-image-template-1721222847.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-do-porn-stars-last-so-long.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-15 06:50:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "177463", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Sister and I Are Not on Talking Terms Because of a Man", "title_slug": "my-sister-and-i-are-not-on-talking-terms-because-of-a-man", "title_hash": "0b0ce9d2dd1b3c508f08f7138d4ae5fb", "summary": "The week after I got married and moved out, my parents called me over a hundred times to complain about my sister. It was always, “your sister did this” or …", "content": "

The week after I got married and moved out, my parents called me over a hundred times to complain about my sister. It was always, “your sister did this” or “your sister said that.” They claimed she does nothing at all, or if she does, it is only on her own schedule. On Saturdays, she sleeps until 9:00 or 10:00 AM before she finally picks up a broom.

She is the baby of the family and the only person I can truly call my sister. We have a stepsister, but she is not interested in our lives. After she moved abroad, she deliberately withdrew from us. In her own words, me and my younger sister “don’t have a problem.”

Because of that, my younger sister holds a special place in my heart. I pampered her. Growing up, I did all the chores while she slept until the sun was high. When I cooked, I only asked for her presence in the kitchen so we could talk and laugh. I had her back from primary school through university, at every stage of her life.

My sister is nearly thirty, and I believe I played a large part in the person she has become. She never listen to any of us, especially our parents. It is true that our parents lack a formal education, but those same people worked hard to put us through university. She does not see it that way. If you are not wearing a suit, she shuts her ears to you. Even with me, she treats me like a doormat. She asks for my advice only to do the opposite. She never calls unless she needs something. My children barely know her; they are closer to my friends than to their own aunt.

When my parents call to tell me about her lifestyle, regret washes over me. I feel I am the one to blame. I have vowed many times not to meddle in her life, but I always do. My husband calls her a narcissist, but I do not want to believe she is one.

Her constant argument is that our parents love me more, but that is far from the truth. After living with people for so long, you learn what upsets them. She refuses to learn, so she is always at odds with them. I believe it is only God’s wisdom helped me relate to them better.

My problem now is the man she’s dating. I have watched my sister go through friends like clothes in a boutique, picking them up and dropping them. It is the same with her dating life. A little over a year ago, she started dating a man. They were originally “friend with benefits.” Things turned sour and they broke things because the man hacked her WhatsApp to read her private messages.

This same man went to my parents to talk about it. After that talk, he dumped her. My parents felt used and insulted. They honestly thought he came to save the relationship, not to burn the bridge.

When she came to me crying, I told her to walk away from the toxicity. I was ready to be her rock while she healed. But then, two months later, she is back to him. Now they are everywhere together, and he is even back at the house helping her out. It is like they say: the love is “stronger than apartheid.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

We haven’t spoken since. We watch each other’s social media updates in silence. When I call my mother, I see my sister in the background, but I do not speak to her. It hurts that this is happening with my only full sibling. I pray for her and wish we could be close like other sisters. I wish she could be the aunt my children deserve. I wish she would humble herself and see how much our parents love her. Sadly, I feel these wishes may never come true because she is not ready to change.

—Noami

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Sister, and, Are, Not, Talking, Terms, Because, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/two-african-woman-friends-wear-eyeglasses-lying-bed-indoor-white-room-looking-mobile-phone-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-sister-and-i-are-not-on-talking-terms-because-of-a-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 06:03:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "177462", "lang_id": "1", "title": "We’ve Been Divorced For Ten Years But We Still Live Together", "title_slug": "weve-been-divorced-for-ten-years-but-we-still-live-together", "title_hash": "17fc1545494ae2d3ef688347ac5f83cb", "summary": "Right after SHS, he found me and made me fall in love with him. I was seventeen, going on eighteen. I knew about love, but I didn’t know how much …", "content": "

Right after SHS, he found me and made me fall in love with him. I was seventeen, going on eighteen. I knew about love, but I didn’t know how much it burned or how it led people astray from their future. He was mature, had a job, and had a business going on. I loved him because of everything he did for me and with me.

We dated for only a few months, and I got pregnant. While I was shaking and not knowing what to do, he was calm and almost unaffected. He said, “I’ll take you home and marry you. You don’t have to be scared.”

He did just that, but that didn’t stop my parents from calling me an embarrassment and a black sheep of the family. My mom almost shunned me. My dad said I’d stabbed him in the back and didn’t deserve to be called his daughter. I think they agreed for the man to marry me so they could get rid of me from the house.

My dad told my boyfriend, even before the marriage, that he should help me go to school after I delivered. He promised he was going to do exactly that, so we got married traditionally and I moved in to live with him, barely an eighteen-year-old wife. I didn’t know how to be a wife; I didn’t even know how to be myself, but I tried, though I made a lot of mistakes.

I had the first child, a girl, and two years later, another child arrived. I was home, not doing anything, because he didn’t want me to. He would go out there, pick women, do whatever he wanted to do with them, and come home to insult me—that I was good for nothing and a drain on his pocket.

I wanted to sell; he said no. I wanted to go back to school; he said his money wouldn’t do that. Later, he told his friends that he would not take me to school so I wouldn’t be better than him in life. I started regretting life. I was miserable, and my kids were sharing the misery with me. Sometimes it was hard for us to feed while he gave money to the women he dated.

He was dating one lady, Lucy. He was splashing money on her and didn’t even hide it from me. One day, I called Lucy on the phone and begged her to leave my husband alone. She listened to me talk, and then she said, “Oh wow, I didn’t know you could speak English. He said he picked you up from a village and your parents forced him to be with you. The way he painted you, I didn’t think you’d ever been to school.”

That day, I cried. I was still in my twenties but was looking like I’d crossed the forty line. I told him, “I want to go back to school, please help me.” Again, he told me he didn’t have the money. My family wasn’t well-to-do, and I knew that apart from education, there was no other way to make it in life, so I spoke to a man I knew who agreed to help me through school on one condition: that I would date him. I agreed.

So we were texting about plans to go back to school and plans to meet and have sex. My husband saw the change in me and started going through my phone. I knew it, but I intentionally left the messages so he could read them. By the time he read what was happening, I’d started sleeping with the man, and we were talking about it through chats.

He took screenshots and started spreading them. “I’ve caught her. You see, she’s sleeping around?” He sent the messages to everyone who had a phone. He was deeply hurt and was shaking anytime he talked about it with me. Honestly, I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was my parents and how they were going to think about me. The rest—hmmm.

Weeks later, when he had calmed down, he asked me how much I needed to start school. We did the maths, and he gave me half of the money, saying that was all he had. I spoke to my parents, and they also decided to help me.

I started university, and because of the kids, I had to go to school and return. It was quite a distance, but I was determined. After giving me half of the money, he didn’t add a pesewa to it. I was struggling and was thinking of dropping out. And then I met a lecturer who lived not far from my home. I would go to school with him in his car, and he would bring me back. My husband saw this and started his accusations again. He said I was cheating. He attacked the lecturer and warned him to stay away from me. Meanwhile, he had Lucy and other women in his life.

Slowly, I graduated. I met good men who helped me genuinely without asking for favors in return. I also met some who were honest enough to tell me they would help only if I agreed to date them. But in the end, these people contributed to helping me complete school.

While doing my national service, he asked for a divorce, saying I was sleeping with the men in my office. Meanwhile, those men didn’t even see me as beautiful. Once they knew I had kids and was married, they stayed away from me. I didn’t explain myself; I asked him to go ahead with the divorce. He couldn’t. We lived in the same house and slept in the same bed, but we said nothing to each other.

I finished national service and started working. I got a job in a different town. I stayed there working for three years. When I came back home, his women stopped coming. He left the kids on me the very day he talked about divorce. It didn’t bother me; I knew I could do my best.

After three years, I came back to town and still live with him. He asked for a divorce ten years ago, but he still hasn’t been able to carry it out. He doesn’t talk to me, and I don’t talk to him too, but I live in his house, taking care of the kids he has abandoned on me. He brings women home. I don’t mind. He would call someone a wife today; tomorrow that person is no longer there. But I’ve been here, living in the same house in separate rooms. We don’t talk. We cross each other’s paths daily but say nothing.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I’m not going anywhere. Taking care of the kids alone is too much for me, and I can’t add rent to it. Staying here without paying rent helps me save and also take care of the kids. I’ll be here until maybe I get a job that pays so much that rent wouldn’t be an issue. It’s crazy, but who said life isn’t crazy?

—Lydia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": "We’ve, Been, Divorced, For, Ten, Years, But, Still, Live, Together", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/8782.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/weve-been-divorced-for-ten-years-but-we-still-live-together/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 06:03:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "177461", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Boyfriend Slapped Me Because I Joked About His New Car", "title_slug": "my-boyfriend-slapped-me-because-i-joked-about-his-new-car", "title_hash": "e346f8fd7331ed581a17b5852da945a8", "summary": "My boyfriend bought a new car. He came to pick me up that very day so we could go and test the car. He came with instructions. I had to …", "content": "

My boyfriend bought a new car. He came to pick me up that very day so we could go and test the car. He came with instructions. I had to sit still like a statue in the car and not move my legs. Wherever I placed my legs, he complained that I was making the car dirty. “Can’t you let your legs stay on the floor?”

Right there, I knew my place in his life had been taken by the car. The way he polished it. The way he looked at it and, at night, the many times he would visit the car before going to sleep. I can admit without shame, I wished I were the car so he could look at me with the same eyes. He would wake up at dawn and go to pee, but judging by the time he spent out there, you could just tell he went to visit the car.

So one dawn, I woke up to pee too, and when I came back, I tapped him quickly and said, “Hey, wake up, wake up. Where did you park your car? It’s not there.”

He sprang out of the bed instantly and started shouting, “Ewurade, m’awu! Who has stolen my car? It’s not even registered!”

I was in bed laughing when this man opened the outside door and jumped out, only to see his car parked there peacefully and in all its glory. I heard the door bang and knew he was coming back. I was still laughing. Immediately he stepped in, he gave me a huge slap across the face, from left to right. Even when I tried to cover my face, he slapped my hand and slapped my face again.

“How dare you play that silly joke on me? You want to give me a heart attack?”

I remained in bed, shocked, with my hand covering my face, scared that he would strike me again. “The next time you play that silly joke on me, you’ll see what will happen to you.”

And then he walked out of the room, to the hall, to watch his car for the rest of the night. I was crying, but he didn’t care. In the morning, I left without saying goodbye, but he still didn’t mind me. I had always told myself that I wouldn’t stay for a man to hit me twice. I never thought my first hit would be because of a car.

In my mind, it was over. If he could hit me like this because of a car, then what would happen if he bought a plane?

He called in the night trying to apologize. Even the apology came with a warning. “I’m sorry, but next time don’t pull that silly joke on me. It will make me act worse.” I responded, “Dear, please go ahead and date your car. It’s the only thing that won’t pull such a prank on you.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He’s still in my inbox begging, and each day he refines his apology to make it better and more polished. But once bitten, twice shy—and if you receive slaps because of a car, then once bitten, several times shy. I’m not going back again. Never! The car is not even nice.

—Frema

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My boyfriend had issues with his landlord, and the landlord gave him his balance and asked him to vacate his room. The whole thing turned into a fight that threatened his life. While he sought to go legal, the landlord warned, “If by next week you’re still in my room, whatever happens to you, don’t blame me.”

We had started talking about marriage and had given ourselves one year. We had dated for a year. I asked him to move in with me for the meantime while he looked for his own place. He came to live with me and later decided we should live together, split rent so we could save more money, and marry the following year.

To me, it was a good idea as long as we stayed committed to it. I took him home to meet my parents as time went on, but I didn’t disclose that we were living together. You know our parents and the way they think. Before we could decide to go and meet his parents, his dad came to our town for a funeral and decided to spend the night with us.

My boyfriend explained the situation to his dad on the phone even before he came to town. The man refused to enter the house, telling my boyfriend that he didn’t know me, so I had no right to live with his son. Before he would enter to spend the night, I should vacate the house. He didn’t want to condone wrongdoing.

I didn’t fight it. I just told my boyfriend that I would spend the night with a friend while his dad stayed. He came on a Friday and said he would leave the next day. He ended up staying for almost a week. I was stranded. My boyfriend had to sneak clothes for me to wear to work. My friend also didn’t like the idea that I was overstaying. The whole thing was annoying, but I exercised patience, knowing it wouldn’t happen again.

Before this man left the house, he advised my boyfriend to sack me from the house and said that he hated me for the fact that I was living with a man I wasn’t married to. I expected my boyfriend to explain the situation that necessitated our living together, but he played it like it didn’t matter while his dad addressed me like I was a cheap whore. The introduction went so badly I wanted to disappear.

When his dad left, he promised me he would explain it to his dad and also make his dad apologize to me for getting it wrong. Weeks turned to months; the apology from his dad didn’t come, but he promised me he had explained everything to him and that he understood it perfectly.

His mom also came to town. She came purposely to visit her son. I told him it wasn’t right, looking at how his dad’s situation went. He said his mom was different and that she knew about me and understood the situation. When his mom came and met me, the first question she asked was, “Upon everything my husband told you, you’re still living with my son? Don’t you have home training?”

At this point, I couldn’t take it any longer, so I took it upon myself to let her know I’m the one helping her son have a place to live. I explained calmly, without any iota of anger. She listened and said, “It doesn’t matter who lives with who, what is wrong is wrong. Did your parents allow this? Do they know you live with a man who’s not married to you?”

I agreed with her that it was wrong, but I didn’t understand why she sought to blame me instead of blaming her son. Eventually, she told me I should vacate the place because she couldn’t live with me when she didn’t know me. My boyfriend tried to explain; she said no. She made it very obvious that she came to drive me out of the house.

“In that case, he has to leave and not me,” I retorted. She screamed, “Are you talking back at me when I’m trying to correct your waywardness?” I walked away, and she said, “You’re walking out on me when I’m talking to you?”

My boyfriend came inside and tried to calm me down. I told him I wasn’t going to live with them no matter what, so he should find a place to go with his mom. He asked me to go and spend the night with my friend while he settled it with his mother. I said, “I’m not moving an inch. I’m tired of the disrespect. You should move.”

It became a fight—his mother on one side and me on the other while he stood in the middle. I wasn’t going to go away, so his mother called me disrespectful and said she wouldn’t allow her son to marry me no matter what. Eventually, she spent the night with us, hoping she would see me gone. The next day, I was there. This woman would use songs to insult me, and each time I passed by, she’d sing a song that attacked my person.

I asked him when his mother was leaving, and he said he didn’t know. She had already spent four days. That day, I told him his mother should leave, and he should also leave with her. Honestly, I was tired and felt degraded in my own house. He said, “Remember, I paid half of the rent.” I said, “No problem, I can send your remaining rent to your MoMo so you can get a place to live with your mom.”

The woman started shouting, “You don’t listen to me. Is this a woman who’ll help your life? See how she’s talking to you. Or you’re no longer a man in this house.”

The next morning, she packed her things and left. I sighed. My boyfriend was angry that I had disrespected his mom because I wouldn’t do what I did to my own mother. We argued. We disagreed, but most importantly, I knew there was no way I would be accepted in his home, so I told him to leave the house and find his own place. He asked, “So you’re doing all this and still think we can marry?”

I answered, “No, I don’t think we’ll marry. That’s why I’m cutting this tree before it gains roots to bear poisonous fruits.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He’s looking for his own place, but the relationship between us looks broken beyond repair. We talk, but not as friends or people in love. It’s mostly one-word exchanges. Sometimes I feel I didn’t handle the situation well because he had been a good boyfriend. All was well with us until his parents came in. Sometimes I just want him to stay so we can correct our mistakes and continue the relationship. Looking at how far we’ve come, do you think it’s a good idea for us to rebuild, or should I let him go and start again from somewhere else?

—Emelia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend’s, Parents, Are, Trying, Evict, From, Own, House", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/519608.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriends-parents-want-me-out-of-my-house-because-of-my-boyfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 06:03:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "177228", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Black Maternal Health is Still in Crisis ", "title_slug": "black-maternal-health-is-still-in-crisis", "title_hash": "0ab31b7dbfb60b8752b6b56777dc0476", "summary": "During Black Maternal Health Week 2026, Rewire News Group is highlighting our reporting on the hurdles Black people face in getting adequate care during pregnancy and birth—and how communities are taking their health into their own hands.\nThe post Black Maternal Health is Still in Crisis appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

It’s Black Maternal Health Week 2026—the ninth annual week designated for amplifying the perspectives of Black pregnant people and bringing awareness to their high death rates before, during, and after birth.

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At Rewire News Group, these issues are core to our mission. Black women launched the reproductive justice movement; we cover Black maternal health year-round. This roundup features some of our recent reporting on Black maternal mortality, access to health-care, and birth justice.

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Uneven access

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Hundreds of thousands of Black women left the labor force in droves in 2025, in part due to mass layoffs.

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Writer Emma Akpan was one of them. In November of that year, after she lost her job, she explained how unemployment reshaped the health-care options of Black women like her. Losing private insurance, for example, can limit a person’s reproductive health-care choices.

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“My old gynecologist does not take Medicaid,” Akpan wrote. “I searched for a new one that provided shame-free medical care and accepted Medicaid, [but] many of them were in towns…about 30 minutes from where I live. … I knew I couldn’t be the only one in this predicament.”

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In addition to facing higher unemployment, Black women also have higher rates of infertility. Yet Black women are less likely to pursue IVF treatment, and they’re less likely to succeed when they do seek fertility assistance.

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Madeleine Aitken wanted to know why. Her October 2024 story explored how cultural stigma, high costs, and medical racism can prevent Black patients from receiving fertility treatment.

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“I just always thought I would get married and have babies the natural way,” Denise Hendricks told Aitken. “It didn’t even cross my mind that I might need to freeze my eggs or think about my fertility,” adding that infertility “never was discussed in my household, or even among my friends.”

\n\n\n\n

Abortion bans

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After the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, U.S. states rushed to impose abortion bans. A predictable consequence quickly became clear: More pregnant people started dying from preventable causes like known heart problems and infections, including from second-trimester miscarriages.

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By 2023, Stephanie Mitchell and Avital Norman Nathman wrote for Rewire News Group, pregnant people in states that outlawed abortion were found to be nearly three times more likely to die during pregnancy, birth, or within the first year postpartum.

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And Black women disproportionately have died.

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Abortion bans have been especially dangerous in Texas. As RNG legal analyst Imani Gandy wrote on the 160th anniversary of Juneteenth, Black women in Texas are still denied their full reproductive freedoms.

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“Control over reproduction in Texas didn’t end with emancipation on June 19, 1865; it simply evolved,” Gandy wrote. “For centuries, the Texas government has weaponized different laws to control and exploit Black women’s bodies—first through slavery, then through Jim Crow segregation, and now through abortion restrictions that disproportionately harm and control the lives of Black women.”

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Since Texas banned abortion in September 2021, before the overturn of Roe, dozens more pregnant and postpartum people in the state have died than in the years prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, according to ProPublica, which used pre-pandemic numbers as a baseline to avoid COVID-related anomalies.

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Yet in Texas and other states with abortion bans, the data on maternal mortality has become unreliable, reported Thalia Charles in 2025.

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State-run task forces, called maternal mortality committees, have been tasked with tracking severe birth complications and proposing strategies for limiting them in the future. But some of these committees have suffered from political meddling or narrowed mandates.

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In April 2026, the Florida Tribune revealed that Florida had not shared maternal mortality data since posting its 2020 report. (After the Trib asked questions, the state Department of Health published limited maternal mortality reports from 2021, 2022, and 2023.)

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In communities without adequate access to maternal care, people are taking matters into their own hands. Timberly Washington, a medical student in the South who has also worked as a doula, wrote for RNG about how doulas make birth safer—especially for Black and Hispanic patients.

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“In my view, a doula is an essential piece of the reproductive health care puzzle at a time when labor and delivery wards are closing nationwide,” she wrote. “This is especially true in places like my hometown in rural Alabama, which is home to historically marginalized communities and limited access to care. Doulas step in to provide culturally responsive support, a gap that many doctors cannot fill.”

\n\n\n\n

The post Black Maternal Health is Still in Crisis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Black, Maternal, Health, Still, Crisis ", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "35", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Black-Maternal-Health-Week-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/13/black-maternal-health-is-still-in-crisis/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 05:40:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176872", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Growth Mindset: Parenting for Possibility", "title_slug": "growth-mindset-parenting-for-possibility", "title_hash": "f868a760f89a617d89ff381fb3a5ce0b", "summary": "Learn how a growth mindset helps parents raise resilient kids through emotional coaching, effort, and everyday moments that build confidence.\nThe post Growth Mindset: Parenting for Possibility appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn how a growth mindset helps parents raise resilient kids through emotional coaching, effort, and everyday moments that build confidence.

The post Growth Mindset: Parenting for Possibility appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Growth, Mindset:, Parenting, for, Possibility", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-1678749087.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/growth-mindset-parenting/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:52:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176871", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is a Lavender Marriage? Can It Really Work?", "title_slug": "what-is-a-lavender-marriage-can-it-really-work", "title_hash": "a0a2bbc817578b28422bebfe5b9f9e3c", "summary": "Can a lavender marriage truly work? Discover the psychology, communication patterns, and trust factors that determine relationship success.\nThe post What Is a Lavender Marriage? Can It Really Work? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Can a lavender marriage truly work? Discover the psychology, communication patterns, and trust factors that determine relationship success.

The post What Is a Lavender Marriage? Can It Really Work? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "What, Lavender, Marriage, Can, Really, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "32", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-1333950647-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-a-lavender-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:52:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176870", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is a Superbill? And Can It Be Used for Therapy?", "title_slug": "what-is-a-superbill-and-can-it-be-used-for-therapy", "title_hash": "8f776c751baebb854a47e18f347ab536", "summary": "Learn what a superbill is, how therapists create one, and how clients use superbills to get reimbursed for out-of-network couples therapy and mental health services.\nThe post What Is a Superbill? And Can It Be Used for Therapy? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn what a superbill is, how therapists create one, and how clients use superbills to get reimbursed for out-of-network couples therapy and mental health services.

The post What Is a Superbill? And Can It Be Used for Therapy? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "What, Superbill, And, Can, Used, for, Therapy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/GettyImages-1827061102-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-a-superbill/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:52:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176758", "lang_id": "1", "title": "State of Girls Chase, April 2026: Attraction Book, AI, Social Gravity, & More", "title_slug": "state-of-girls-chase-april-2026-attraction-book-ai-social-gravity-more", "title_hash": "e5ac8475159a96c4aae919f2ac00992a", "summary": "How’s Girls Chase doing? My upcoming attraction book, some soon-to-release AI dating tools (actually useful!), the state of the biz, & more.\nIt’s been a while since I’ve updated you on the various ongoing Girls Chase projects.\nSo, today, let’s get you up-to-speed with our April 2026 update!\n \n\n\n", "content": "

$\"state$ How’s Girls Chase doing? My upcoming attraction book, some soon-to-release AI dating tools (actually useful!), the state of the biz, & more.

It’s been a while since I’ve updated you on the various ongoing Girls Chase projects.

So, today, let’s get you up-to-speed with our April 2026 update!

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "State, Girls, Chase, April, 2026:, Attraction, Book, Social, Gravity, More", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/state-of-girls-chase-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/state-girls-chase-april-2026-attraction-book-ai-social-gravity-more", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:37:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176759", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Conquer a High-End Club (Without Spending Money): The Social Circle Strategy That Gets You Free Drinks, VIP Access, and No Lines", "title_slug": "how-to-conquer-a-high-end-club-without-spending-money-the-social-circle-strategy-that-gets-you-free-drinks-vip-access-and-no-lines", "title_hash": "89505695d9b59a04a9b556f5e0493e11", "summary": "Build real connections with staff and regulars to conquer a high-end club without flashing cash. Free drinks, no lines, and true VIP status await.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"conquering$ Build real connections with staff and regulars to conquer a high-end club without flashing cash. Free drinks, no lines, and true VIP status await.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Conquer, High-End, Club, Without, Spending, Money:, The, Social, Circle, Strategy, That, Gets, You, Free, Drinks, VIP, Access, and, Lines", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "35", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/conquer-high-end-club-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-conquer-high-end-club-without-spending-money-social-circle-strategy-gets-you-free-drinks", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:37:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176757", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The MSM's Attacking One-Sided Monogamy. Are They Right?", "title_slug": "the-msms-attacking-one-sided-monogamy-are-they-right", "title_hash": "8aebf5a93a1f281e739c08c3ef2c5a44", "summary": "The MSM calls one-sided monogamy ‘toxic’, ‘misogynistic’, and ‘non-beneficial to women’. Do they have a point – or are they (as they often are) off-base?\nI was surprised recently to see the mainstream media running a series of broadsides against one-sided monogamy.\nApparently the furor kicked off a month ago, but because I don’t read the MSM I didn’t know.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"why's$ The MSM calls one-sided monogamy ‘toxic’, ‘misogynistic’, and ‘non-beneficial to women’. Do they have a point – or are they (as they often are) off-base?

I was surprised recently to see the mainstream media running a series of broadsides against one-sided monogamy.

Apparently the furor kicked off a month ago, but because I don’t read the MSM I didn’t know.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, MSMs, Attacking, One-Sided, Monogamy., Are, They, Right", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/msm-attacking-one-sided-monogamy-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/msms-attacking-one-sided-monogamy-are-they-right", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:37:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176756", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Use Face-Sitting as a Secret Sex Hack", "title_slug": "how-to-use-face-sitting-as-a-secret-sex-hack", "title_hash": "d12d4e101d8a0047c3726298e1b336b0", "summary": "Face-Sitting Is a Seriously Underrated Bedroom Tactic. Here's How to Use It to Your Advantage", "content": "With so much of the little sex education that people do get growing up devoted to mitigating negative outcomes like sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies, it's no surprise that the ins and outs of oral sex don’t exactly get their due.\r\nAnd while recent decades have seen shifts in the cultural perception of cunnilingus from something demeaning for a guy to do to something that it's manly to excel at, just like penetration, one aspect of oral that still feels under-discussed is the magic of face-sitting. \r\nRELATED: Why You Should Go Down on Her on Your Next Hookup \t\r\nDespite the fact that you almost certainly didn’t learn about it in sex ed class, face-sitting is hardly a new concept. Artistic depictions of it go back many hundreds of years, and it’s certainly plausible that people have been engaging in the practice for much, much longer than that. \r\nAnd why wouldn’t they? It’s a classic oral sex position that’s easily achievable if you have even a small bed. You don’t need to be crazy flexible or have tons of stamina. One person lies down, the other kneels on either side of their head. And the tongue gets to work. So what should you know about it? \r\n\r\nWhy Is Face-Sitting Under-Appreciated? \r\n\r\nFace-sitting isn’t for everyone, and some vagina-havers report preferring oral where they’re lying on their back to the experience of kneeling and straddling a partner’s face. \r\nHowever, one big reason I think face-sitting is underrated is that some guys may see it as being associated with femdom — picturing a dominant woman and a submissive man. \r\nSince being a sub in bed runs counter to many cultural narratives about male power, it’s understandable that some guys might not seek to explore sex acts associated with a submissive male role, even if it’s something they ultimately might find enjoyment in exploring. \r\nAnd it’s absolutely true that face-sitting can be used to great effect by sex partners who want to emphasize the power of the vagina-haver who’s sitting on their counterpart’s face. \r\nRELATED: How to Be Dominant in a Relationship (And in Bed) \r\nTechnically, the person riding can move and place their thighs, crotch and buttocks in such a way as to crush or smother their partner, as well as having their mouth and arms free to engage in degrading dirty talk or hitting, slapping or otherwise teasing the submissive with their hands. \r\nFurthermore, if there’s real kinky play in progress, the person on top can urinate, fart or defecate on the person below them, seriously adding to the Dom/sub dynamic. \r\nHowever, these possibilities also ignore the fact that, done right, the person receiving cunnilingus may find it hard to engage in more dominant, controlling behavior, and may even struggle to speak in coherent sentences.\r\nRELATED: Oral Sex Pro Tips to Make Her Scream \r\nThat’s because, with the top partner’s clitoris pressed directly on their partner’s mouth, the bottom partner has the ability to deliver powerful, ongoing pleasure from an extremely comfortable and non-physically demanding position. \r\nIt also gives the prostrate partner the ability to use their hands to grab or play with the other person’s breasts and nipples, buttocks or feet, and those with longer arms (or shorter partners) could also reach their partner’s face area, meaning choking play, finger-sucking, etc. are viable options. \r\nAlso fun? The prostrate partner can easily masturbate while they go down on the riding partner, meaning pleasure for both people simultaneously. \r\n\r\nA Massive Potential Benefit of Face-Sitting\r\n\r\nMost importantly perhaps for men who sleep with women? It’s an absolutely fantastic tool for post-climax pleasuring. \r\nAsk straight and bi women what their least favorite aspect of sex with cis men is and a lot of them will mention guys who cum and immediately assume the sex is over. \r\nRELATED: Worst Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex \r\nThere are a few different factors at play there — for one, it’s understandable for guys in a penetrating role in common positions — like, say, missionary and doggy style — to be exerting more energy than their counterparts. \r\nWhen their brains are flooded with feel-good sex chemicals like prolactin, serotonin and oxytocin, which help encourage relaxation, it’s only natural for them to feel sleepy. \r\nRELATED: Why Do Men Feel Sleepy After Sex? \r\nPlus, since people with penises typically experience much, much longer refractory periods than people with vaginas, it might be too sensitive to continue penetrative sex. \r\nAll this can combine to produce a physical reality where guys are no longer interested in continuing the action, and cultural scripts like scenes in TV, movies and porn clips where the male ejaculation is treated like the climactic moment of the sex scene reinforce this belief among many guys.\r\nRELATED: Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex \r\nBut suppose you’re in the woman’s shoes — you’re enjoying yourself, excited to have an orgasm at some point in the near future, your partner cums, and suddenly everything is over. Wouldn’t that feel pretty frustrating? Wouldn’t you feel disappointed and maybe even a bit resentful that the other person got to experience maximum pleasure and then essentially resigned from the game? \r\nThat’s where face-sitting comes in. Because it features a guy lying on his back, it requires functionally no energy from you. The only thing that really needs to keep moving is your tongue — your legs, arms and torso can be completely relaxed and motionless, and you don’t even have to hold your head up as you do when giving oral to a partner lying on their back. \r\nSo next time you climax before your partner’s ready for things to end, consider asking them to sit on your face. \r\nYou can go to town on them with your tongue while the rest of your body gets its much-desired post-coital bliss, and your partner will get to experience the good times continuing to roll. \r\nKeep at it long enough and you just might find yourself ready for another round of penetration with a thoroughly pleased partner ready to go, too. Now that’s a win-win-win situation. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat Is the Refractory Period? Signs You're Not Giving Good Oral SexUnique Ways to Go Down on Her", "keywords": "How, Use, Face-Sitting, Secret, Sex, Hack", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/the-under-appreciated-value-of-face-sitting/askmen-lead-image-2x1-18-1751462121.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/the-under-appreciated-value-of-face-sitting.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:37:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176755", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Should You Do Burpees Every Day? (Plus, the Best Burpee Variations to Try)", "title_slug": "should-you-do-burpees-every-day-plus-the-best-burpee-variations-to-try", "title_hash": "d6b8866f3fee222009e87cb97e2124b9", "summary": "This Simple Bodyweight Exercise Might Be the Secret to Torching Body Fat", "content": "Even people who work out regularly, who hit the gym daily, and who pride themselves on being strong and fit tend to avoid doing burpees. Pushups for strength, elliptical for cardio, right? Who wants or needs to be humbled by a humble bodyweight exercise? Thing is, avoiding burpees isn't doing your physique any favors.\r\nIt turns out that there's an unfortunate correlation between how much we dread an exercise and how good it is for us. Heavy squats, weighted dips, walking lunges and almost every ab exercise ever devised have two things in common: they feel awful while you're doing them but generate outsized returns on your effort. \r\nBut don't take our word for it: “A burpee is a full-body exercise that hits strength, cardio, and plyometrics for an all-out calorie torcher that will quickly test your limits,” says Mike Donavanik, C.S.C.S., founder and president of Sweat Factor, a fitness streaming platform.\r\nRELATED: Should You Work Out With Your Partner?\r\nHere, learn more about the beloved burpee, including why you should be doing them more often, how to actually perform a burpee the right way, and how to modify the move to make it easier or, dare we say, even more challenging. \r\n\r\nHow to Do a Burpee with Proper Form\r\n\r\nYou’ve likely seen the burpee performed a slew of different ways, and there are a ton of fun modifications and progressions (see below for inspiration), but there’s really only one way to do the traditional burpee exercise. Here’s how:\r\n\r\n\t\r\n\tStart in a high plank position with palms under shoulders, hips tucked, and core engaged.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tPerform a push-up, then immediately jump your feet wide to the outside of your hands.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tFrom this crouched position, push through heels to explode up, jumping into the air with arms to the sky. \r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tLand softly with knees slightly bent, then immediately reverse the movement, coming into the wide, low squat with feet outside of hands.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tJump feet back, returning to high, palm plank position. Repeat. \r\n\r\nCommon Burpee Mistakes\r\n\r\nUnsurprisingly, burpee no-nos tend to center around form rather than rep schemes or programming, says Donavanik. One of the biggest issues he sees is when someone “does the worm” during the push-up stage, by dipping their hips, arching and lowering their lower back instead of maintaining a tight core throughout the push pattern. \r\nAnother common burpee mistake is jumping your feet inside of your hands rather than outside, which might be tempting if you have limited hip mobility but it actually puts more pressure on your knee joints, says Donavanik. \r\nBottom line is that if your form is suffering, scale it back with burpee modifications that keep the exercise effective and efficient without sacrificing alignment.\r\nRELATED: It’s Time You Add Push-Ups to Your Workout Routine\r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Burpees\r\n\r\nBreaking down the burpee, it’s easy to see how there are a litany of advantages to this exercise, but there are a few burpee benefits that deserve the spotlight.\r\n\r\n\t\r\n\tIt’s a full-body exercise: Many exercises claim to be a total-body movement, but a lot are just wannabes. You’d be hard-pressed to find a singular exercise that tackles your upper body, core, and lower body as well as the burpee. “You’re working almost every muscle in your body,” says Donavanik.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tIt’s a complete workout: The burpee is essentially an entire workout crammed into one exercise. “You’re getting strength, cardio bursts, and explosive plyometrics in a single move,” says Donavanik. So, no matter what your fitness goal may be, say, power, strength, or stamina, the burpee can help you achieve it. \r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tIt won’t let you ignore weaknesses: At first glance, this might not sound like a bonus, but if you really want to level up your fitness, you have to target any current limitations, which a burpee can bring to light. Can’t get your feet to easily reach your hands? Your tight hips need mobility work. Lower back pain? Your core could be weak. Arms maxed out from the push-up before your endurance? Your upper body strength training could use some attention. \r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tYou’ll tap into mental toughness: You know those moments during a workout where you just want to throw in the towel but something in your head tells you to keep going even though your muscles are shaking? That’s mental resilience, and it has to be built. To know that you can get through hard things (i.e. a ton of burpees) you have to have previously proven to yourself you can do them.\r\n\t\r\n\r\n\r\nShould You Be Doing Burpees Daily?\r\n\r\nBy now you know that burpees are a demanding exercise. You don’t want to overdo it, especially without adequate rest. “I wouldn’t recommend doing burpees daily,” says Donavanik. For what it’s worth, that goes for any single, specific exercise, he explains, nodding to the importance of variety in your workouts. (However, you should start planking daily.)\r\nWhen programmed appropriately, burpees can be an integral part of your overall fitness routine. How you do them will depend on your specific fitness goals, says Donavanik. “For general fitness purposes, I’d say you can do them one to two times a week as part of a more cohesive program,” he says.\r\nTry this fun fitness challenge to test either your time or reps: See how many burpees you can accomplish in two minutes or how long it takes you to do 20 reps of burpees — all with proper form. Record your results, then start building burpees into your workouts once a week. “It’ll be a good test to see how you’re improving week-over-week,” explains Donavanik. \r\n\r\nBurpee Variations to Make Them Easier and More Difficult\r\n\r\nMastered the OG burpee exercise and looking for a challenge? Or maybe you’re new to strength training and want to ease into the burpee party? Either way, there are a surprising number of burpee variations that can help you modify or progress the move. Here’s some inspo courtesy of Donavanik:\r\n\r\n\t\r\n\tAdd a tuck jump: Instead of doing a regular jump at the end of the movement, turn it into a tuck jump. Explode up, tucking your knees up towards your chest as you lift off.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tAdd a pull-up: If you have access to a pull-up bar, grab it at the top of your jump, then perform one pull-up. \r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tWalk your feet in: Instead of jumping feet out wide to the sides of your hands and back out to plank, walk one foot in, then the other, and back out when returning to plank. This modification can be especially helpful for those with limited hip mobility, says Donavanik. \r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tDrop your knees: Performing the push-up with knees on the ground can help you achieve faster and more explosive burpees while you build your upper body strength. \r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tSkip the jump entirely: While you will lose out on the plyometric element to the burpee without the jump, if you’re rehabbing an injury or have joint issues, taking the jump out (and perhaps also utilizing the walk in/out modification above), may be best for you.\r\n\t\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Fitness Trackers and Smartwatches\r\n\tBest Mass Gainers for Skinny Guys\r\n\tHow Often Should You Work Out Your Legs", "keywords": "Should, You, Burpees, Every, Day, Plus, the, Best, Burpee, Variations, Try", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/should-you-do-burpees-every-day/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1750683156.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/should-you-do-burpees-every-day.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-14 04:37:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176257", "lang_id": "1", "title": "There is nothing like God's type of love ......", "title_slug": "there-is-nothing-like-gods-type-of-love", "title_hash": null, "summary": "There is nothing like God's type of love .....", "content": "

There is nothing like God's type of love, we have only the Love of God. Love is pure and monad. The world clothed desires, lust as love — which is not love. Love is one, (1 Corinthians 13). So you can see that what many think is love is not, it is actually strong desires or lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh.

\r\n

Someone with strong sexual desire, can tell you he loves you — but not from the heart, but to satisfy the flesh.

\r\n

For marriage and romantic relationship, love is not enough — the foundation: love, friendship and respect.

\r\n

Love, friendship and respect are the solid foundation for marriage and romantic relationship.

\r\n

Because when these three are present. Trust, care, boldness, openness — follow automatically.

\r\n

", "keywords": "", "user_id": "115", "category_id": "27", "image_big": "uploads/images/202604/image_750x_69dd05e991f29.jpg", "image_mid": "uploads/images/202604/image_750x415_69dd05e9c3a47.jpg", "image_small": "uploads/images/202604/image_100x75_69dd05e9dd94e.jpg", "image_slider": "uploads/images/202604/image_650x433_69dd05e9f2260.jpg", "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "0", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "0", "post_url": null, "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-13 10:07:10", "username": "Didi-Omah Diary", "user_slug": "didiomahdiary", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "176187", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When My Marriage Failed, My Best Friend Chose Another Husband For Me", "title_slug": "when-my-marriage-failed-my-best-friend-chose-another-husband-for-me", "title_hash": "ef0642c0fc815edc9a96f2e717ad292d", "summary": "Three years after divorce, Adwoa told me my two kids needed a father. I argued that after eleven years in a marriage that was turbulent at best, I didn’t need …", "content": "

Three years after divorce, Adwoa told me my two kids needed a father. I argued that after eleven years in a marriage that was turbulent at best, I didn’t need to love another man for him to be a father to my two kids. She said they were too young for me to carry the burden all alone. I told her that even when their father was around, I carried the burden all alone. “No new man will help me carry the burden of another man’s children,” I argued.

I grew up with Adwoa. She knew me better than anyone on this earth. When my marriage was failing and I ran to her, she gave me a shoulder, a room to escape the storm for days, and clarity, and said, “You deserve better than this. If he’s not going to change, then there’s no need.”

It was the third time I’d run to her with my kids in tow. She took care of us like we were in her asylum. When my marriage finally broke down, she hosted my kids for months, took them to school, paid their fees, and fed them until I found my feet to bring them in again. My kids call her Mom, sometimes “Big Mommy” because she’s bigger.

All the time she was telling me about a father figure, she had something or someone in mind for me. One day she called, “I’m coming around. I’m not coming alone.” She cut the call before I could ask who she was coming with. I heard a knock, I opened the door, and it was Adwoa and another man who looked like he’d lost his place on earth.

“Meet Max. Max, meet Wendy, my childhood friend,” she said.

We shook hands, and I let them in. The man sat in silence while we talked over him. Later, Adwoa said she had brought him to see me and felt we would be a good couple. Now Max smiled. I thought happiness looked good on him.

“No, you can’t do that,” I said. Max took over, “It’s my first time meeting you, but it feels like I’d known you for a very long time because Adwoa has told me everything. I came to confirm, and indeed she didn’t lie.”

He told me how he lost his wife three years ago and how he’d been looking for someone who would understand him and also be a good mother to his son. “You’ve done it before, and I would be happy if you do it again with me. I promise you, I’m not a troublesome person.”

The whole thing felt like a play—a play I’d been drafted into without a script. I was sitting there like a tree, watching them take turns to talk. I told Adwoa, “No, you can’t do this to me.” She responded, “I can do everything to you as far as it is for your own good.”

Max understood my need for time to think things through. He asked how long, and I said as long as I needed to see what I had to see. He called often. He came to check on us. Adwoa took the kids in when I needed to go out with Max. It took us a year, but one day we fell into each other’s arms, and we have remained there till today.

Our marriage ceremony was something small, just for the two families. We moved in immediately and started life together. I could see how he respected his late wife and placed her memory in a respectful place. I didn’t ask for the same or compete. I had come from the opposite side of marriage; rough, turbulent, emotionally draining. All I asked for was a quarter of what he gave his wife, but here I am, enjoying what looks like more than I asked for.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Marriage, when you’re mature and have been through a lot, feels different. It’s like eating the icing, knowing the cake will be better. This is what I prayed for while marrying my first husband, but it took a second attempt to have a childhood dream come true. And Adwoa, that girl, there’s no bigger love than hers. This story is about her. I shared it to celebrate the forever love I found in her.

—Wendy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I met her here under the comment section, and we both started building a friendship because we seemed to agree with each other’s opinions on the stories shared here. When we exchanged contacts, she would send the story to me and say, “I’m waiting for your comment.”

I would read and tell her what I thought of the story, and we would discuss. I didn’t know she was married until months later, when we’d talked and I had developed an interest in her, though I was also married. It was on my Facebook profile that I was married, but she didn’t state it anywhere that she was married.

When we talked about our status as married people, I asked her why she didn’t write it anywhere in her profile that she was married, and she answered, “Years ago, when marriage was good, I had it written everywhere, even on my forehead, that I was married, until it turned abusive and I’d tried to leave on several occasions.”

She asked about me, and I told her marriage had been one way and eventless. I had a wife who wouldn’t go out of her way to spice up the marriage, and the few times I tried, it didn’t yield any results, so we’d been going in circles. She asked if I wanted to have fun, and I answered that I was ready.

We planned to meet out of town one day and spend the weekend together and see what would happen afterward. Days before we met, she had an episode with her husband, and he beat her black and blue. She sent a voice note. She was crying while narrating the story to me. “I don’t think I can come. I don’t want you to see me like this. The face I was coming to show you is gone. I need time to heal.”

She sent me photos. Her lips were swollen, her left eye was bruised, and she had beaten marks on her cheeks. She’s fair, so every mark showed clearly on her skin. I consoled her. I asked why she wasn’t doing anything and told her I could help her leave if she wanted to.

She said the kids were her problem because anytime she’d tried to leave, he used the children as bait to make her stay. Her parents had also given up on her because they warned her about the marriage and she didn’t listen. To be honest, I was traumatized by the pictures she sent. All day I was thinking about her. She sent me a message, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

I’d come to love her. I’d come to see her as a person who would bring her own kind of fun into my boring life, but seeing her abused brought a different level of feelings. A few days later, I told her if she was ready to leave, I would help her. She answered, “If it’s easy, I will listen to you.”

I had a friend who was a police officer. I asked him to help, and he was willing to do it for me. The plan was to use the police to scare her husband into believing that the next time he touched her, she had a police friend to run to. She didn’t buy the idea. She said it would make matters worse.

“Then just run away,” I said. She responded, “That’s exactly what I want to do.”

She enumerated her plans to me. In the plans, she was saving money to rent a new place, and once she was able to get the place, she would quietly leave and never look back. We were supposed to be lovers who were planning to meet and have the moment of our lives, but once that happened and we were not able to meet, everything changed. We talked more about how to help her escape than how to meet and make love.

She was a nurse. She had a joint account with her husband, so most of the money she made went into the joint account. And because he was not taking care of her and the children, she resorted to borrowing to survive. She would ask me for a loan I knew she wouldn’t pay, and I would send her the money. When they fought and she reported to me, I became as aggrieved as if her skin was mine and she was misusing it.

For over a year and a half, we planned to meet but couldn’t. Most often, it was intentional on my part. I wanted her to have her freedom first, or maybe, just maybe, I was afraid her husband would find out about me and turn his attention to me instead.

She called one day and said she was looking for a place. She had saved enough and wanted to secure a place for herself and the kids. I gave her an agent friend to help her get the place.

Later, she called to ask for a top-up. I could feel the zeal in her voice that she really wanted to run. She needed GHC 3,000. I went into my savings and gave the money to my agent friend so he could pay the landlord directly.

She secured the place but was still scared to move. She gave excuses, “What if he ends up finding out where I live?” I answered, “Once you get a new place, start the divorce. You can also secure a police order against him so he doesn’t come close to you. If you need that level of protection, my police friend is available to help.”

She called one late afternoon. We had known each other for two years but hadn’t met physically. She asked, “When are you coming to see where I live?” I asked, “Have you moved?” She answered, “He traveled to his hometown yesterday, so I’ve picked what time would allow me. I will start afresh from here.”

Her husband returned and started throwing threats here and there. I asked her to talk to her parents about it and let them know she had run away from the house because she was no longer interested in the marriage. Once she did that, her parents took over the issue, demanding that her husband produce their daughter since they couldn’t find where she was.

While the drama unfolded, she floated over it. She said her husband called, and for the first time, he was pleading with her to return home. He went to the hospital not to cause chaos but to plead with her to return with the kids. She said, “Everything I’ve been through, if I go back, then I deserve everything that has happened to me.”

I think she’s happy now.

I went in trying to escape from the boredom of my marriage, but in the end, it became more than I bargained for. The emotional attachment shifted from her to her story. If she were my sister, I probably would have jumped into the middle of the fight and fought for her, but she wasn’t, so I had no right to do that. I had become her chief advisor, and the feelings I had for her completely changed. To date, we are yet to meet physically, meanwhile it wouldn’t take me an hour to go to where she lives.

From everything she had been through, I don’t think she still harbors the feelings we initially had. She doesn’t even talk about it. She calls me her soldier and a brother in crime. I think I enjoy that, and I also think my marriage isn’t the worst out there, so I can put in the energy and make it work. It’s a win-win for us both, though the intention was so wrong from the start.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I could have been here sharing the story of how I met a married woman under the comment section and cheated with her, but today, our story is different. Maybe that was how God wanted it, but as human as we were, we tried to complicate things. Thank God we didn’t.

—Amos

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******

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I was dating Diana when Francisca came along. She was different from Diana in many ways. She paid for dates, and when we took Uber or trotro, she paid for it. She was also calmer than Diana but was a bad cook and proud of it. That was the only side of her that made me pull the brakes on her. She loved me more than I thought Diana loved me, but then Diana also had her strengths, so I decided to keep them and see who would drop off and who would stay until the end of the race.

One day, I wanted to marry Diana; the next day, Francisca would do something so great it would sway my attention from Diana for a while. It was like they were in competition, and no one wanted to be edged out.

One late night, I was with Francisca when Diana called, saying she was coming to see me. I had to act quickly to deflect her from coming, but Francisca was with me, so I couldn’t talk very well on the phone. I excused myself and went outside to talk to her. About five minutes later, Francisca called through. I quickly picked it, but she realized it was a call waiting even before I could speak.

She was very angry and asked who I was talking to and why I’d taken the call outside. Eventually, I was able to convince Diana not to come. My mistake was thinking Francisca was too dumb not to know. I explained it was a family issue and I needed to be alone to talk about it.

From that night, anytime I was with Diana, Francisca would call and ask where I was and what I was doing. I thought it was a coincidence until Diana also started calling me anytime I was with Francisca. “Tell me where you are and what you’re doing,” she would say. “Are you sure you’re not with any woman?”

Again, I thought it was a coincidence until one evening, I went to Francisca’s place, sat in a chair relaxing. She said her sister had come to visit and she wanted to introduce her. I was like, “Ah, aren’t we supposed to spend the night? Why is your sister here?”

Then Diana stepped out from her bedroom. I pushed back a little. My heart was pounding. “This is my sister. I know you know her, but you should shake hands. Pretend you haven’t met before and introduce yourself.”

Diana stood there with her arms folded, looking at me. I looked back and immediately knew I was finished. “What do you have to say?” Francisca asked. “You’ve lost your tongue? Can’t you talk?” Diana added. I got up, wanting to walk out of the drama. Diana pushed me to sit back down. She took my phone. Francisca took my wallet and started going through it. She found only GHC 50, took it, and threw my wallet back at me.

I said, “How do you want me to go home now that you’ve taken my money?”

Diana bought that phone for me, and she took it. Francisca had given me money before, so she took what was in my wallet. Not that I couldn’t fight. I could have beaten them both, but it seems when you’re a sinner, you lose your strength too. I begged for my SIM so I could even use the MoMo on it. They pushed me out and laughed.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

That’s how I walked from Madina to Achimota Secondary School around 10 p.m. because I was too ashamed to beg. I was looking through two bottles with one eye, but I lost both. I thought I wouldn’t cheat again, but to be a man and not look at two women differently at the same time is hard but I’m trying my best.

—Abraham

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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After thirty years of marriage, my father kicked my mother out of our home and has left her with nothing. I’m struggling through National Service, but I have to send her money from the little I earn so she can survive. I hate how our lives are breaking apart.

Everything fell apart when we moved to our new house. When we first moved in, he was one of the few people in the neighborhood who came to say hi. His only “crime” was walking into our hall like he owned it. I was a witness; he stood at the door and asked my mother to call my father. I was there when my mom told him that my father does not drink alcohol and could not attend, but he jovially insisted on coming in and went to find my father himself.

It was a get-together they went to; my father returned that day and started throwing accusations around. We didn’t know it would turn into this.

Meanwhile, my mother rarely even speaks to that man beyond a quick, “How are you and the family?” Nothing more.

He even took my mom to a mallam and, according to him, asked the mallam to work some magic so my mom would admit she slept with the man. That way, my dad could charge the man and get money from him. He found it funny and expected me to take his side, but I refused to lie for him.

We were going round in circles about this matter, and for three months, we didn’t hear of these accusations. I would come home to my parents laughing at their jokes, and for once, it felt like peace had taken a seat in our home. I even became the third wheel, but at least it was for a good cause. For just three months, it lasted—and then it started again.

Accusing my mom of sleeping with that same man even though the man isn’t even in Ghana anymore.

The reason I’m back in this mess is that he’s now accusing me of planning with my mom to poison him. The “poison” he found was actually just medication for an infection my mom had.

He says he saw her put it in his food three months ago, but if he saw it, why did he still eat it? And why is he still alive? He didn’t even know what the medicine was until we looked it up for him, but he insists it’s poison. My dad is an illiterate soldier from the Rawlings era, and somehow he thinks his uniform makes him untouchable.

What do I do? I’m worried about his behavior and the curses he’s going to have those priests lay. My family has turned into something else. My dad has already kicked me out twice: first for not siding with him, and second for reporting him to the police. On days when the quarreling escalated, my father would get physical; this very day, he nearly killed her. So, I reported him to the military police, but they dismissed me and said, “It is a family matter; solve it at home.” I was pregnant at the time, and I lost the baby because of the stress.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He brags that he’s a soldier, so nothing can touch him. He brings girls home and sleeps with them. I heard he got one of them pregnant and then denied it. Even though I’d like to say it’s not my problem, I had a dream about her. That same woman came to me in a dream after I lost my own pregnancy, and she threatened that I would never give birth. The man who got me pregnant left me for no reason just one week after I miscarried.

What do I do? Do curses work on innocent people? I can promise you on my life that my mom is innocent, and so am I. I feel there’s something behind this—something that transcends the naked eye. Is there something I can do for protection? At this point, I’m tired of God. I need other options.

—Maame

#SB<>

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When my husband died and people were coming to the house to console me, a guy came too. He said his name was George, and we were in the same church together, so when he heard the news, he decided to come and “hug the sorrow away” from me.

He held my hand in a handshake and placed his left hand on my shoulder and started encouraging me. I was crying so hard I could only see rainbows. He said, “Don’t cry too hard, my dear. It’s difficult, but I will be by you whenever you need me.”

When he said that, I lifted up my head and looked into his face. He didn’t look like anybody I’d seen in church, but he mentioned a different branch and said he had been coming to our church often because of a friend. “Give me your number. I will call you.”

I mentioned my number through tears while he typed with a sharp thumb. After that, he hung around for hours, coming to me every now and then to ask if I needed help with something. He brought me water. He said I should drink because I was getting dehydrated through the tears I was shedding.

My mom and dad were with me on the first day. He spoke to them too and made sure my parents and siblings noticed him. He came back the next day, and the next, and the next. He was always the first to be there. I asked one day, “Don’t you go to work? I will be fine; just go about your business.” He told me he was on leave when the event happened.

My mom called him caring. My dad said he was exhibiting Christ in him for being there with me in my hardest moments. In the evenings, he would call and ask what I had to do the next day and if I needed him to run an errand for me.

My husband’s family started picking on me, calling me a witch and accusing me of killing my husband for his properties. Meanwhile, the only property my husband had in his own name was his car. He died very young, thirty-nine years old, so he didn’t have the time to build the world he dreamt of.

His family were on me, asking me to vacate our rented place so they could lock it. His junior brother came for the car keys. That day, George was there. My husband had died for only a week. George snatched the keys back from him and told him to go to hell.

It turned into an exchange of words. My brother-in-law fought fiercely to get the keys back. I called my dad. He shouted, “Don’t give it to him. I’m on my way.” George held him single-handedly until my dad got there and took over the issue. He didn’t give them the keys. My dad drove the car away that day.

That night, I stayed on the phone with George and cried my heart out. “I thought they loved me,” I said amid tears. “When my husband was alive, they were all laughing with me. I didn’t know they would behave this way towards me.”

He listened to me cry and be vulnerable. He encouraged me and even shared a story of how his family behaved towards him when his father died. “It’s normal, my dear. God is on your side, and I am always here for you. They can’t win.”

It took three weeks for them to do the one-week rite for my husband. George was there, carrying chairs and mounting canopies. I watched him from afar and asked myself, “What did I do right to deserve all this from him?”

After the one-week rite, I didn’t see him for a day, and I couldn’t sit still. He had been with me through it all, and I had grown used to his presence. He said he had resumed work. I joked, “Then my defense is cracked open now. What would I do if they attack?”

I’m not ashamed to admit that I started seeing him in romantic ways. I fantasized about being with him when all was said and done. One evening, he came to visit. Before he left, we kissed. My husband was still in the morgue. It felt so wrong. It felt like I was cheating on my husband on the eve of our wedding.

It didn’t stop there, though. It happened, I think, thrice more until I asked him what he thought of me. “Do you like me that much? Since when? Would you marry me after my widowhood rite?”

He answered yes to all my questions and told me he couldn’t wait for the storm to be over.

During the funeral, he became an integral part of everything. But one thing that kept occurring was that he would take money from me to do something, but later I would be told he didn’t pay for the things to be done. He came for money for extra chairs, but those chairs didn’t come. My dad went to buy meat with him, and he later went for extra. He didn’t pay for the extra but took money from me.

Then right after the funeral, in the deep of dawn, he visited my room when no one was watching. He said he wanted to be sure I was alright. I was scared he would be caught, but he wasn’t ready to go. He said until I kissed him, he wouldn’t. I did, for a few seconds, and then he left. As early as 6 a.m., he came to my place dressed for church.

He sat in the hall while I also got ready. I was in the bathroom when something told me I should stick my neck out and see what he was doing. The funeral contributions that people paid, I had put them in a big bowl and placed it behind the sofa. He was squatting there, opening the envelopes and stuffing the higher denominations into his trousers. I watched for a few seconds, shocked and unable to say anything. I went back in and bathed.

When I was ready and we were about to leave, I said, “Please put back the money you took from the bowl. I don’t want to have issues with the family head after church today.”

He swore he hadn’t taken anything. I said, “Oh, stop that. I saw you taking it and putting it in your trousers. If you needed money, you should have told me and not stolen from the Nsabɔdiɛ bowl.”

I asked if I should put my hand in his pocket before he, ashamedly, started to bring everything out. I checked every pocket and took everything to ensure he was empty. He said, “I don’t want you to think about it the wrong way. I was borrowing it. I was going to tell you about it. That’s not who I am.”

At church, I cried, not for my husband but for the second heartbreak. How could something this good end even before it started? Did he do all that so he could steal from me?

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

So many questions, but I didn’t see him in church, and neither did I see him again afterward. I wanted to call and ask questions. I was fighting against my own judgment, making him look like a victim of circumstances so I could forgive him, but sense prevailed, and I let him go. He didn’t reach out, and I didn’t go looking for him.

—Aubynette

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Found, Love, Husband’s, Funeral, But, Was, More, Than, Could, Take", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/160950.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-found-love-at-my-husbands-funeral-but-he-was-more-than-i-could-take/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-13 06:02:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175926", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Can You Share Sex Toys?", "title_slug": "can-you-share-sex-toys", "title_hash": "f7c06a6aae6ee4c52232dc645c0cf6ab", "summary": "Used vibrators, butt plugs, and dildos can spread infection. And some partners may find it sketchy to be offered a pre-loved toy. But there are safe and sexy ways to open the collective treasure chest.\nThe post Can You Share Sex Toys? appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

I was at a party recently where one of my friends started gossiping about someone they knew very tangentially, which happens to be one of my favorite kinds of gossip. He told me about this slutty guy, a friend’s co-worker or something like that, a subject so remotely connected to us that he may as well be a character from a folktale.

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But who cares about veracity when the goss starts like this: “His body count is in the hundreds and he owns an arsenal of sex toys that he’s reused with dozens of different women!”

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I didn’t think it was particularly scandalous to own a collection of high-mileage sex toys, but my fellow party goers seemed to think this guy’s bedroom behavior was a little sketchy. Isn’t it gross to use a dildo that’s been inside someone else, someone asked? Isn’t that kind of unsanitary?

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Is it?

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Outnumbered, I started to doubt my own nonchalance about sharing sex toys. I don’t think Emily Post’s Etiquette or any other social-decorum guides of yore had chapters about communal sex toy usage. As an intrepid sex writer, I feel it is my job to bring etiquette into the modern era and ask: Is it okay to put a butt plug in multiple anuses?

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First, let’s talk hygiene

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I talked to the employees at one of my favorite sex shops in Chicago, Early to Bed, to get the expert lowdown. Early to Bed recommended using toys made of 100 percent silicone, regardless of if you’re going for a solo masturbation sesh or if your bedroom is one of the city’s hottest clubs.

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Toys made of 100 percent silicone won’t absorb toxic materials like bacteria, and are therefore safer to use and easier to clean. Beware of silicone blends, which may be porous and more prone to carrying bacteria.

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Other non-porous sex-toy materials include hard plastic, aluminum, break-resistant glass, and stainless steel, according to Planned Parenthood.

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Generally speaking, you can use mild dish soap and warm water to keep your toys clean, but you can also use anti-bacterial cleansers—which you can buy as wipes or in bottles—designed specifically for sex toys. This method might be the best choice for non-penetrative toys like non-waterproof Hitachi wands, penis pumps, harnesses and other toys that can’t be submerged in water.

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Most silicone and glass toys can be boiled or put in the dishwasher if you want to be really thorough–-as long as they don’t have motors. Vibrators, auto-blowers, and electro play toys should never be fully submerged in water, because of the potential to damage the electronics inside.

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But cleaning practices vary slightly from toy to toy, so check the instructions or ask your friendly neighborhood sex shop employees.

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Cleaning your toys is an important factor in curbing infections, sexually transmitted and otherwise. According to a 2017 survey published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, women who reported having shared sex toys were more likely to report ever having bacterial vaginosis.

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One study found that the human papillomavirus persisted on vibrators, even 24 hours after being cleaned.

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“If someone who has an STD uses a sex toy,” Planned Parenthood warns on its website, “the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the next person who uses that toy.”

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Research into genital health and its relation to sex toy use is limited. But some bacteria, a common culprit of STIs, can be destroyed in boiling water or a hot dishwasher cycle.

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But just like any other kind of sex, one of the best ways to protect yourself and others from infection while playing with sex toys is to get tested regularly.

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“Getting a positive STI test back can be scary,” Caitlin Lloyd, communications and outreach lead at the CHOICES Center for Reproductive Health, told me in an email. “And it’s important to note that it does not make you a bad or ‘dirty’ person. Taking care of your body and informing your partner/s is sexy!”

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Besides communication, protective barriers like condoms are also useful for preventing infections. Yes, you can—and should—use protection on sex toys used with multiple partners, just as you would when having toy-less sex with multiple partners. Condoms can also help keep toys relatively clean if you’re using any that are made of potentially porous materials.

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It’s also important to consider what part of the body you’ve used a sex toy on. Inserting a sex toy that’s recently been in an anus into a vagina can cause vaginitis or other infections.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Now, let’s talk about feelings

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If you follow these best practices for keeping your chest of toys hygienic, you should feel safe enough to use them on yourself, your friends, lovers, and all the one-night-stands you fancy.

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But like all other aspects of sex, communication is important. Be transparent here, and ask your sexual partner if they feel comfortable using a toy that has been used on someone else. Maybe they’d prefer to use a condom or to bring a toy from their own personal collection. Buying a new toy together can even be fun and sexy in its own right!

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Back at the party, when my friends and I were discussing the remote acquaintance and his armory of dildos, massagers, and butt plugs, someone in the circle asked how the toys were stored. Was it a Fifty Shades situation, all the objects hung up on pegboards, a shiny, fully stocked and cleaned sex dungeon?

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No, the gossiper told us, all the items were stored neatly in a clear plastic storage box with locking side handles. This, everyone decided, was a green flag.

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Many sex shops also sell special bags and storage solutions specifically designed to keep sex toys clean, cute, and discreet in your bedside drawer or toy chest. I personally use a lacquered box covered in bear-ish gay hentai illustrations that an older boyfriend made for me while I was in high school.

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Still, even if everything seems in order visually, I think it’s worth asking about the maintenance regimen of your hook-up’s vibrating, double-ended dildo before it’s about to enter you.

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Ultimately, communication, protection, and getting regularly screened for STIs helps keep everyone safe. And safe practices mean everyone can have more fun—because it’s hard to come if you’re worried about getting a yeast infection from the 8-inch silicone tentacle inside you.

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The post Can You Share Sex Toys? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Can, You, Share, Sex, Toys", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "35", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Sharing-Sex-Toys-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/10/can-you-share-sex-toys/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-13 05:05:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175925", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Trump Administration Redirects Family-Planning Grants toward Fertility Awareness, ‘Family Formation’", "title_slug": "trump-administration-redirects-family-planning-grants-toward-fertility-awareness-family-formation", "title_hash": "54922be61137dc7b0a439f0a19b2e99c", "summary": "Plus: Birth workers in Georgia challenge state restrictions who can deliver care to pregnant patients, and Florida obfuscates maternal death data. \nThe post Trump Administration Redirects Family-Planning Grants toward Fertility Awareness, ‘Family Formation’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

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Title X takes undercuts contraception, promotes fertility

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A federal grant program that subsidizes family-planning services for low-income patients now overstates the risks of birth control while endorsing less effective methods like “fertility awareness.” In new guidance for applicants to Title X funding, the Trump administration claimed the program’s goal is to “strengthen family formation.” Historically, Title X grantees had to provide a “broad range” of FDA-approved contraceptives. Meanwhile, Virginia this week joined the ranks of states giving people a legal right to birth control.

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Georgia midwives say restrictive practice laws harm patients

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Three midwives sued Georgia last week, alleging that its restrictive midwifery laws, which require nurse-midwives to have expensive physician agreements and bar non-nurse midwives all together, endanger patients and limit personal autonomy. “In doing so, Georgia’s restrictions intrude on one of life’s most significant experiences: pregnancy and birth,” the suit alleges. Georgia is one of many Southern states where patients, especially Black patients, face poor maternal care access.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Sunshine state keeps maternal mortality data in the dark

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Florida hasn’t published data on deaths during pregnancy and childbirth since posting its 2020 report, the Florida Trib revealed this week. After a reporter asked the state Department of Health about the missing numbers, the agency updated its website with limited stats from 2021, 2022, and 2023. Florida passed a 15-week abortion ban in 2022 and a 6-week ban in 2023. Outlawing abortion makes pregnancy and birth more deadly, particularly in communities of color. As RNG has reported, Southern states that ban abortion are distorting or hiding maternal death data.

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This news roundup first appeared in our newsletter, Rewire Weekly. Sign up here to get the latest reproductive rights news, expert analysis, and a peek into the RNG newsroom—fresh to your inbox.

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The post Trump Administration Redirects Family-Planning Grants toward Fertility Awareness, ‘Family Formation’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Trump, Administration, Redirects, Family-Planning, Grants, toward, Fertility, Awareness, ‘Family, Formation’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "35", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/ReproRoundupPhoto-2_02.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/10/trump-administration-redirects-family-planning-grants-toward-fertility-awareness-family-formation/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-13 05:05:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175407", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Much REM Sleep Do You Need?", "title_slug": "how-much-rem-sleep-do-you-need", "title_hash": "49dada42ccb22399640d1fca10009cfa", "summary": "Wake Up Feeling Alert & Energized by Optimizing Your Sleep Cycle", "content": "When people think about their own sleep habits, they typically treat sleep quantity as synonymous with sleep quality, but we’re here to tell you that that’s a huge mistake. Yes, the number of hours you sleep each night is important, and more is generally better than less, but the amount of time you spend asleep isn’t a perfect measure of the quality of your rest.\r\nWhy is that, you might be wondering? Because your body enters different phases or stages of sleep (four, to be precise), during which time your mind slows down, your core body temperature drops, brain wave patterns change, and body recovery, from your muscles to your immune system, kicks into high gear.\r\nRELATED: How to Get Better Sleep\r\nThere’s a practical lesson to take away from this information: your sleep quality actually depends not just on how much time you’re unconscious but also how much time you’re allowed to spend cycling through the various sleep stages, and the final sleep stage, known as the rapid eye movement (REM) stage in particular.\r\nConfused? You’re not alone. But read on to learn what you need to know about REM sleep, including what it does for your body and how much you need each night to optimize your recovery.\r\n\r\nOptimizing Your REM Sleep\r\n\r\nBefore you can improve your sleep habits, you need to understand some basics about sleep cycles and what your body is going through while you snooze. \r\nWhat Is REM Sleep?\r\nREM stands for rapid eye movement, which describes the most visible sign of this fourth and final stage of the sleep cycle. No, your eyes won’t be open during REM sleep, but they will be moving so rapidly that, even with your eyelids shut, the underlying movement is noticeable. \r\nMore intriguing than the outward manifestation of REM sleep, however, is what’s going on inside your brain. During the REM stage of sleep, your brain activity actually increases dramatically, almost to the same levels seen when you’re wide awake. Dreams are much more common during REM sleep, and tend to be much more vivid, while neuroscientists have linked REM sleep to everything from improved memory retention to enhanced creativity. \r\nThe benefits don’t end at your brain, though. REM sleep helps regulate your hormonal balance, with sleep deficits having been linked to decreased testosterone levels, which in turn can impair your muscle growth or decrease your sex drive. Worse still, REM sleep has been shown to be especially important for muscle growth and recovery, so you could be sabotaging your hard work in the gym every time you cheat yourself out of some much needed rest. \r\nHow Much REM Sleep Do You Need?\r\nSleep needs are highly personal, and can vary quite a lot based on your age and activity levels, but most adults should aim for between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night, with 25% of that being REM sleep. In other words, you need between 1.25 to 2 hours of REM sleep a night to optimize your cognitive function and help ensure adequate muscle recovery. \r\nHow to Get More REM Sleep\r\nREM sleep occurs as the fourth and final stage of the sleep cycle, and lasts anywhere from a few minutes to over an hour. But because your body can’t immediately enter REM sleep, it’s imperative that you have enough snoozing time to get through the first three cycles of non-REM sleep, which can take up to 90 minutes. \r\nThere’s a catch, though: your body enters a deeper and longer sleep after multiple sleep cycles, so if you only have an hour or two to sleep, you’re never going to maximize your time in the REM stage. In fact, the longest REM cycles tend not to occur until the second half of a typical eight-hour snooze, so if you sleep only six hours, you’re not really getting ¾ of the REM sleep you need; you’re really getting about half as much. \r\nHow to Optimize Your Wake-Up Time\r\nOne really clever way to wake up feeling refreshed is to time your alarm to go off only when you’re in the lightest sleep cycles. Just a few years ago, this wasn’t possible outside of a dedicated sleep study with humans actively monitoring your sleep, but thanks to the ubiquity of smartphones and some very clever sleep apps, you can now experience a gentle wake-up every single morning. \r\nThese apps work by using your smartphone to monitor your body movement throughout the night. Because REM sleep shuts down almost all your bodily functions except breathing and eye movement, the apps can make a very educated guess about when you’re sleeping lightly and when you’re in deep sleep, activating the alarm only when you’re safely out of REM sleep.\r\nIn practice, this means that your sleep app might wake you up half an hour or more before your set alarm, but because it spares you the harsher wakeup from deep sleep, you’ll actually wake up feeling more rested and alert than if it woke you up thirty minutes later from a deeper sleep. Trust us: once you’ve experienced the benefits of a smart alarm, you’ll never go back.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Sleep Products for Hot SleepersDo You Need 8 Hours of Sleep?How to Deal If You & Your Partner Have Different Sleep Schedules", "keywords": "How, Much, REM, Sleep, You, Need", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "33", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-much-rem-sleep-do-you-need/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1719608881.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-much-rem-sleep-do-you-need.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-10 07:10:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175408", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship", "title_slug": "how-to-maintain-a-long-term-relationship", "title_hash": "94b3281af750e8dd07d241b673159c17", "summary": "It's smooth sailing for the two of you now, but how do you keep it that way?", "content": "The act of falling in love? That was easy for the two of you. \r\nIn what felt like instant chemistry, from the moment you laid eyes on your partner, it was meant to be. Even if your love story took some twists and turns before you decided to define the relationship and be ‘official’ — when it comes to imagining your life with anyone else? You simply can’t.\r\nWhile you don’t doubt your connection, your ability to communicate or the love you share, the hard truth of being in a long-term, committed relationship is that without rolling up your sleeves and putting in the hard work required to make it work, well, it just won’t.\r\nRELATED: How to Start a Relationship and More \r\nThough there might be times when you coast through the niceties and co-exist pleasantly together, a long-term relationship must be given constant, thoughtful attention to make the years pass happily. Here, experts share their best advice on how to ensure your love doesn’t suffer because you shy away from prioritizing the partner you’re lucky to have:\r\n\r\nThe Benefits of a Long-Term Relationship\r\n\r\nEspecially if you spent the vast majority of your youth (and maybe even most of your adulthood) as a single guy, you know how different it feels when you finally stumble into someone who makes you want to focus all of your attention and energy on them.\r\nFrom the way your partner holds themself in difficult discussions and how impressive their work ethic is to the effortless way they can rock both a fancy dress and sweatpants, spending time with your partner is more fulfilling than any one night stand could ever be. \r\nIn fact, according to couples therapist Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D., research indicates that men especially gain more from being in a long-term relationship than women gain from the same commitment.\r\n“After a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, men tend to get more depressed than women and get remarried faster because they experience so many benefits being in a relationship,” she explains. “Men in long-term relationships experience better physical health, more happiness, more emotional support and greater sexual satisfaction than those not in relationships.”\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Being in a Serious Relationship \r\nAnd apart from any research conducted by science, there’s an overall sense of fulfillment and happiness that derives from knowing you have a partner in crime. Not only does the stability inspire you to be bolder with your own choices outside of love and relationships, but it inspires you to dedicate yourself in a more selfless way than you would if you were a bachelor. \r\nLos Angeles-based psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. says in general, it’s a better idea to be in a withstanding relationship than to be alone.\r\n“The benefits of a long-term relationship are many,” she explains. She lists things like:\r\n“Feeling more happy and well-rounded,having a sense of emotional stability and security in which you know your partner's got your back and is there for you,experiencing a meaningful, deep connection in which each partner can feel known and understood by the other,sharing a unique history together,helping each other and being more motivated to stay physically and emotionally healthy, and more”\r\nAs a bonus? She also adds you’ll typically live longer if you’re paired up than if you aren’t.\r\n\r\nWhy Long-Term Relationships Require Maintenance\r\n\r\nConsider your closest friend. \r\nHe’s the one who is there through the thick and the thin, for when you need to make a smart, calculated decision and for when you want to let loose and booze all night. Even with all of the good times and memories you share, he’s also the guy who can tick at your annoyance levels the fastest.\r\nLuckily, you can call each other out without missing a beat, right? \r\nBut in a relationship, the ebbs and flows might be trickier to navigate. Schewitz says it’s a common misconception that ‘you shouldn’t have to try and make a relationship work’ — when in reality, without keeping up with your partner’s needs and the state of your personal union, you could lose them… fast.\r\nRELATED: How to Keep a Relationship Interesting, Explained\r\nThe solution is wading through the changes together. \r\n“Relationships go through many phases and the longer you are together, the more changes you will experience together,” Schewitz adds. “There will be times when things are easy and just seem to flow but there will also be times when you wonder if you can or want to do this anymore. Both are normal feelings in a long-term relationship.”\r\nThomas says oftentimes, a relationship will begin to lose its luster when one of the partners (or both of you) stop nurturing and attending to one another as much as needed to be happy and healthy.\r\nRELATED: Behaviors That Will Get You Dumped \r\n“As with any living entity, a relationship needs to be fed with care and attention to keep it not only alive, but growing and thriving emotionally and physically,” she says. “Without these elements, long-term relationships can become boring.”\r\nWhat does that look like, exactly? According to Thomas, it’s about things like taking the other person for granted, expecting the other person to know everything you’re thinking without communicating them, and the sex becoming “stale and routine.” \r\nFinally, she says, “unresolved issues between the couple can create problems such as build-up of walls, disconnection, grudges, resentment, upsetting feelings, acting out, withdrawing and more.”\r\n\r\nHow to Invest in Your Relationship\r\n\r\nIf you’re reading this, you probably are worrying about how much effort you’re putting into your relationship and if you’re headed for an unhappy, unwelcomed end. \r\nRELATED: The Best Ways to Improve Your Relationship \r\nTo ease your anxieties and bring you closer, psychologists share recommended ways to maintain the quality (and the love!) of your long-term twosome:\r\n1. Never Stop Pursuing Your Partner\r\nBeen dating for a year? Three years? Six? Married for ten? No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, Schewitz says it’s essential to always pursue them. \r\nWhile, sure, you might not have to go all out with courtship like you did when you first met, she does note that many people associate those initial butterflies with their contentment level throughout the duration of the relationship.\r\nIn other words, whatever you did to persuade your partner to fall in love with you when you weren’t officially a couple, you’ll need to be a little romantic and keep on reminding them of those flutters to keep them connected to you. \r\nMaybe it’s through unexpected ‘Good morning beautiful’ text messages or picking up the kind of orange juice they prefer or surprising them with concert tickets to an artist they love. Whatever the case that’s specific and unique to your relationship, schedule the time in your calendar so you never forget to keep wooing your partner.\r\n2. Put Your Partner First\r\nIf you’re in a relationship with a woman, there’s a good chance your partner might be more apt to take care of tasks like refilling the dog’s heartworm medication, sending your mother a birthday card or reminding you to pick up the dry cleaning. \r\nAnd while you value these qualities for sure, Schewitz says you might also take them for granted. That’s why it’s essential to turn your energy toward giving instead of getting, especially as a relationship matures and grows. \r\nRELATED: Boyfriend Mistakes You Don't Realize You're Making\r\n“Focus more on what you can give versus what you can get from the relationship. If both partners put each other’s needs and happiness first, you both will be taken care of and you both will feel like a priority,” she says.\r\n3. Try to Understand Before Responding\r\nIn her experience, Schewitz says one of the biggest rifts that pulls couples apart is their inability to communicate over time. Though disagreements are all part of the process of being with another person for an extended period of time, if you are merely bickering for the sake of it, without truly tuning in to your partner’s frustrations, you’re in trouble.\r\nRELATED: How to Handle a Relationship Argument \r\n“This is usually because they aren't truly listening to each other and trying to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. They’re just waiting until their partner is done talking so they can deliver the response they’ve been thinking of while their partner was talking,” she says.\r\n“Instead, get really present to what your partner is saying. Ask them questions like ‘How does that make you feel?’ and ‘What led to you thinking that?’ Then try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and really understand and repeat back their point of view before sharing your own.”\r\n4. Make Time Together a Priority\r\nHere are some ground rules of this quality time, according to Schewitz: no kids, no family, no distractions but lovingly gazing into one another’s eyes. Or, laughing until you nearly fall off of your patio furniture. Schewitz suggests having a designated date night at least once every two weeks, if not weekly.\r\nRELATED: Top 10 Date Ideas to Keep Things Fresh and Exciting \r\nThis is a time when you can let go of outside factors and truly focus on what’s happening individually and in your relationship. Regardless if you take a new class, make a reservation at your favorite restaurant, go for a run or steal away in a hotel room for uninterrupted sex, this is your time to reconnect.\r\n5. Talk for at Least 30 Minutes Every Day\r\nThough face-to-face is recommended by Thomas, if you can’t always swing that, she does say a phone call is essential. This is your time to hear their voice, understand the trembles or the peaks in their tone and zero in on your partner. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Your Future Together\r\n“This way, you can keep reinforcing the connection between the two of you and by doing so in these more personal ways than via email, text or social media,” she explains. “If it is hard to do this on some days, try to incorporate communicating with your significant other while making a meal together or doing the laundry or errands with each other,” she says. \r\n“When communicating, try to not focus on peripheral things like your cell phone, computer, or television,” Thomas adds. \r\n“Instead, show your partner that you are interested in and attentive to what they are saying by focusing as much as possible on them and by responding with questions, thoughts or feelings you have related to what they’ve just told you so they truly feel heard and cared for,” she says.\r\nThis kind of undivided attention is one of the most important things you can offer a partner, and along with the other aforementioned aspects, will set the two of you up for a long, healthy and successful relationship. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nUnconventional Ways to Build & Maintain Intimacy in RelationshipsReasons to Break Up That Shouldn't Lead to an Actual Breakup Best Books About Relationships for Further Reading", "keywords": "How, Maintain, Long-Term, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2018/08/31-014610-how_to_maintain_a_long_term_relationship.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-maintain-a-long-term-relationship.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-10 07:10:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175405", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Get Out of Credit Card Debt the Right Way, According to Financial Planners", "title_slug": "how-to-get-out-of-credit-card-debt-the-right-way-according-to-financial-planners", "title_hash": "274c5e5f6b8a867547cb58111bb2f721", "summary": "Don't Let Credit Card Debt Ruin Your Financial Future", "content": "Credit card debt is nothing to be ashamed of — over 60% of Americans carry some form of credit card debt month over month — but the high-interest debt can derail your financial goals if you’re not careful. \r\nIt’s easy to swipe plastic without really thinking much about where that money is coming from (and it was designed to be that way) but if you’ve found yourself in a pile of credit card debt, it might be time to put down the plastic and take a look at how you can adjust your spending and debt repayment plan.\r\nRELATED: 11 Things Wealthy People Never Waste Money On\r\nIf you want to handle your credit card debt once and for all, there’s a very clear way to do it, and it goes beyond just making minimum payments and hoping for the best. Below, we spoke to certified personal finance experts to get their step-by-step tips on how to work your way out of debt and the additional steps you might need to take if you feel like you might be in over your head:\r\nDon’t Skip Your Essentials\r\n“The number one priority is to take care of necessities (shelter, food, utilities). That includes paying the minimum on any secured debts, like a house (mortgage payment) or car (vehicle loan),” says Austin Kilgore, Analyst with the Achieve Center for Consumer Insights. “Between the two, pay the housing expense first. If you miss payments there, you risk losing your home and a place to live.”\r\nUnderstand Your Precise Debt Numbers\r\nIt can be tempting to bury your herd in the sand when you’re not exactly where you want to be financially — but taking control and accountability is the only way to move forward and start working your way out of debt once and for all. According to Bobbi Rebell, CFP and Personal Finance Expert, you should start with an information download. Rebell suggests going through all of your credit card statements and listing out exactly how much debt you carry on each card and what the interest rate is that you’re paying on the debt.\r\nMake the Minimum Payments on Everything\r\nRebell urges those trying to get out of debt to always make the minimum payments on every single card, no matter what. You’ll likely end up focusing more on one card at a time (more on that below) but ignoring a credit card statement will impact your credit score and can end up causing even more late payment fees on top of the already high interest rate you’re paying on the debt.\r\nConsider Focusing on High Interest First\r\nOnly then does Kilgore suggest working on paying down credit card and other debt — and possibly starting with your credit cards with the highest interest rate. “Paying off a card carrying a 20% interest rate (today’s average rate is over 20%) is effectively a 20% return — better than almost any other investment. Plus, you’ll then have that money to do something more productive with,” he explains.\r\nFigure out if there is any way you can pay down the debt on your own — using a good budget, and either the avalanche or snowball strategy. To do this, you must determine if you can pay the minimum on all your debts and then have additional money available to use strategically with the avalanche or snowball method.\r\nSnowball Method: According to Rebell, the snowball method involves paying off the smallest amount first to get a sense of accomplishment and motivation and then move on to the next smallest one. This can be a smart option if you find you lack the determination to tackle multiple debts and need to see the needle moving in order to keep going.Avalanche Method: The avalanche method will save you money in the long run — but it can be harder to keep motivated if your higher interest debts are some of your bigger debt loads. This method is basically starting with the credit card or debt that charges the highest interest rate and is costing you the most and paying that down before moving onto the next-highest interest rate.\r\nBe Communicative With Your Credit Card Issuer\r\n“You can also try contacting your card issuer and asking for help,” explains Kilgore. “They may be able to change credit terms, set up payment plans, defer payments or waive interest (not eliminate debt).” It doesn’t hurt to call and ask — the worst they can say is no.\r\nTake Advantage of Reminders and Accountability\r\nRebell suggests creating a system of reminders in your calendar, or using an app so you can stay consistent. “If you are comfortable, consider getting an accountability buddy to help you stay on track and to celebrate when the debt is finally paid off,” he adds.\r\nAvoid New Debt Like the Plague\r\nRebell strongly suggests avoiding going into new debt while trying to pay off your credit cards. It’s not going to be easy — but cutting back on your overall expenses is the only way to work your way out of the hole. This might mean deleting delivery apps off your phone, doing at-home date nights, or putting off buying unnecessary clothes, concert tickets, flights, and any other non-essential spending. He also urges those trying to get out of debt to switch to a cash-only budget to pay for purchases, which will make you think twice versus the ease of swiping a card.\r\n\r\nIf You’re Not Able to Keep Up With Debt From Your Income and Budget Alone…\r\n\r\nIf the aforementioned steps do not allow you to pay off debt on your own, it’s time to get outside help, which could come in the form of one of the following:\r\nConsider Finding New Streams of Income\r\nThis isn’t possible for everyone, but for some, it is. “Many people have taken well-paying part-time jobs or developed a side gig (anything from pet sitting to a creative business) to generate more money in order to pay off their debt and/or make ends meet,” explains Kilgore.\r\nLook Into a Personal Loan\r\n“A personal loan may offer a lower rate than your credit cards, depending on what you can qualify for (lower rates go to those with higher credit scores),” says Kilgore. “You then can use the funds from the personal loan to pay off the high-interest debt and be left with just one loan at the lower rate.”\r\nConsider a Home Equity Line of Credit\r\n“Some homeowners who are struggling with credit card debt are also sitting on a wealth of home equity,” says Kilgore. “If they can qualify, they may be able to access that equity and use the funds to pay off the debt.”\r\nShop Around for a Balance Transfer\r\nThese credit cards, with a low or zero interest rate, are usually available only to those with very good credit. According to Kilgore, the low promotional interest rate will expire, usually in 6-12 months (although there are cards with promotional periods as long as 21 months). “You MUST be able to pay off the balance in full before then,” points out Kilgore, noting that if you don’t, fees can be just as high. Carefully do the math to be sure that the fees won’t outweigh the savings from the transfer.\r\nUse a Debt Settlement Company\r\n“This can be an option for some people in some specific situations: when your income is such that you are having a hard time making even minimum payments, likely as a result of some type of major financial hardship (such as a job loss, major medical expenses, death of a loved one, divorce),” says Kilgore. “Debt settlement companies work on a consumer’s behalf to lower principal balances.”\r\nCreate a Debt Management Plan\r\nDebt management plans are provided by credit counseling firms, says Kilgore. Through arrangements they have with credit card companies, they can offer a slightly lower interest rate on a credit card but consumers also pay a monthly fee.\r\nFile for Bankruptcy\r\nThis is generally considered a last resort, as it negatively impacts credit rating for 7-10 years. According to Kilgore, Chapter 7 bankruptcy does eliminate most consumer debt — although this type of filing is hard to obtain and can be expensive. Chapter 13 bankruptcy, on the other hand, requires a debt repayment plan.\r\n“This filing is available to consumers whose state of residence determines, through its means test, to have sufficient income to repay some determined amount of the debt,” explains Kilgore.”Note that monthly payment amounts in a Chapter 13 filing are generally comparable to payments in debt settlement programs.”\r\nIn addition, Kilgore points out that bankruptcy filings are public, so anyone who wants to access the information can find it. It’s also worth noting that non-exempt assets (which could include a house or car) can be liquidated as part of a bankruptcy.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Start Building Up Your SavingsHow to Use the FIRE Method to Manage Your FinancesHow to Set a Budget", "keywords": "How, Get, Out, Credit, Card, Debt, the, Right, Way, According, Financial, Planners", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/career-money/money/how-to-get-out-of-credit-card-debt-the-right-way-according-to-financial-planners/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1749643056.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/career-money/money/how-to-get-out-of-credit-card-debt-the-right-way-according-to-financial-planners.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-10 07:10:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175406", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Are Digestive Enzymes? How These Supplements Can Benefit Your Health", "title_slug": "what-are-digestive-enzymes-how-these-supplements-can-benefit-your-health", "title_hash": "5a310e91ce0d1dee293476c788c94281", "summary": "If Meals Leave You Bloated and Gassy, This Supplement Might Be the Solution", "content": "If you feel bloated or gassy after meals — not just once in a while, but often — there’s a chance your body isn’t making enough digestive enzymes. These helpful little proteins help your body to break down and absorb nutrients from the food you eat. But when it doesn’t produce an adequate amount, you may struggle with some seriously unpleasant symptoms. So, what can you do about it? Fortunately, there are now digestive enzyme supplements you can take to help fill in the gap.\r\n“Digestive enzyme supplements help mimic the digestive enzymes your body normally produces to help break down nutrients like protein, carbohydrates, and fats,” says Kelsey Kunik, a registered dietitian and nutrition advisor for Fin vs Fin.\r\nDigestive enzyme supplements have a slew of potential benefits — but they’re not for everyone, and not every product is created equal.\r\nRELATED: Vitamin Buying Guide: What Men Need to Know\r\nBelow, experts share what to know about how and why digestive enzymes work, and what to look for when shopping for supplements.\r\n\r\nWhat Are Digestive Enzymes, and How Do They Work?\r\n\r\nThe main digestive enzymes — which are made primarily in the pancreas — include:\r\n\r\n\tProtease, which breaks down proteins\r\n\tLipase, which breaks down fats\r\n\tAmylase, which breaks down complex carbohydrates\r\n\r\nOthers, which are made in the small intestine, include:\r\n\r\n\tLactase, which breaks down lactose — or sugar from milk\r\n\tSucrase, which breaks down sucrose — or fruit sugar\r\n\r\nAccording to Jesse Feder, a certified personal trainer and registered dietitian contributing to HealthCanal, digestive enzymes break large food molecules down into smaller particles, so that it’s easier for your body to soak up all the complex nutrients the food contains.\r\n“In a healthy functioning digestive system, digestive enzymes are produced and released as soon as food enters your mouth and continues through the digestive tract,” explains Kunik. “If your body doesn't produce enough digestive enzymes, taking a supplement can help you absorb more of the nutrients you're eating and prevent unwanted digestive symptoms.”\r\n\r\nWhat Are the Benefits of Taking Digestive Enzymes?\r\n\r\nKieran McSorley, a registered dietitian and COO of Brentwood Physiotherapy Calgary, says digestive enzyme supplements can be beneficial for relieving the following after eating:\r\n\r\n\tAbdominal pain\r\n\tGas\r\n\tBloating\r\n\tCramping\r\n\tConstipation\r\n\tDiarrhea\r\n\r\nThat said, though, these supplements will only provide those benefits if your body isn’t making enough digestive enzymes. If your symptoms stem from a different issue entirely, then taking a digestive enzyme supplement won’t help.\r\nCatherine Gervacio, a registered dietitian and nutrition writer for Living.Fit, notes that digestive enzymes may also improve your body’s inflammatory response. For example, a supplement that contains protease can help your body break down protein into simpler amino acids.\r\n“These amino acids play a significant role in the immune system and inflammatory response,” Gervacio adds.\r\n\r\nDo You Need Digestive Enzymes?\r\n\r\nHere are some signs that you may want to consider taking a digestive enzyme supplement, according to Meghan Novoshielski, a registered dietitian nutritionist at Set For Set:\r\n\r\n\tYou frequently experience gas, bloating, cramping, diarrhea, or indigestion, after eating certain types of foods\r\n\tYou often feel overly full after meals, even when you don’t overeat\r\n\tYou experience unintentional weight loss, which may signal nutritional deficiencies\r\n\tYou regularly have oily, white, or floating stools\r\n\r\nIt’s crucial to note that all of these symptoms can be caused by other health conditions — some of which may be serious — which is why Novoshielski strongly advises talking with your healthcare provider before taking a digestive enzyme supplement. Your doctor can help to rule out any other possible underlying pancreatic or digestive issues and guide you in finding the best treatment for your specific symptoms.\r\nFeder often recommends digestive enzyme supplements for those with:\r\n\r\n\tLactose intolerance\r\n\tPancreatic problems\r\n\tFat sensitivity\r\n\tSmall intestinal bacterial overgrowth\r\n\tIrritable bowel syndrome\r\n\r\nEva De Angelis, a registered dietitian and nutrition writer at Health Canal, notes that digestive enzymes may also prove helpful for those with:\r\n\r\n\tCrohn's disease\r\n\tUlcerative colitis\r\n\tCeliac disease\r\n\tCystic fibrosis\r\n\r\nBy the way — De Angelis says your body naturally produces fewer digestive enzymes as you age. So, even if you don’t have any of these specific health issues, you may still benefit from these supplements in older age.\r\n\r\nWhat Should You Look for in a Digestive Enzyme?\r\n\r\nNovoshielski suggests keeping a log of your digestive symptoms after every meal. That way, you can pinpoint which types of foods your body is having trouble digesting — and look for supplements that contain the enzymes you need. For example, if you tend to experience gas and bloating after eating complex carbs like oatmeal and potatoes, you may benefit from a supplement with amylase.\r\nRELATED: How to Get Rid of Bloat in a Hurry, According to Experts\r\nHaving trouble pinpointing the specific types of foods that cause your symptoms? Then try a broad-spectrum product with a variety of digestive enzymes, says Novoshielski.\r\n“When choosing any supplement, make sure the brand you're purchasing is reputable,” adds Kunik. “Since supplements are not FDA-regulated like medications are, always look for third-party tested ones with a USP or NSF-certified seal on the label.”\r\nTry to find supplements that offer a certificate of analysis — which ensures lab testing that can guarantee purity and quality.\r\nFeder also recommends seeking out supplements that have an enteric coating — this means the enzymes are more likely to survive stomach acids and get used by your intestinal tract.\r\n“Additionally, look for products that contain ingredients from natural sources like papaya and pineapple, which are known to be rich in enzymes such as bromelain and papain,” adds McSorley.\r\nBefore you try taking a new digestive enzyme supplement, McSorley says it’s important to consult your doctor or dietitian to confirm that it’s safe and effective for your specific needs.\r\n“Your healthcare provider may also be able to recommend a specific supplement that would benefit your condition,” adds Feder.\r\n\r\nWhat Are the Best Digestive Enzyme Supplements?\r\n\r\nHere are some products that get the experts’ seal of approval:\r\nMy Girl Wellness\r\nReviewers call this supplement “pure magic” — and that may not be an overstatement, considering that it’s packed with a whopping 14 different digestive enzymes. It even contains some less common enzymes, like xylanase, which enhances your metabolism of fruits and veggies.\r\n$36 at MyGirlWellness.com\r\nNOW Foods Optimal Digestive System Full Spectrum Enzymes\r\nNOW Foods\r\nKunik says this broad-spectrum supplement includes all the essential digestive enzymes to help digest protein, fats, and carbohydrates. It even includes alpha-galactosidase to reduce gas and cramping from high-fiber foods like Beans.\r\n$12.18 at Amazon.com\r\nThorne Bio-Gest\r\nThorne\r\nThis product contains bile acids to help break down fats, Kunik says, making it an excellent option for anyone who’s had gallbladder surgery. It may also be helpful if you often deal with indigestion, gas, or bloating after eating red meat or other fat-heavy meals.\r\n$46.55 at Amazon.com\r\nPure Encapsulations Digestive Enzymes Ultra\r\nPure Encapsulations\r\nMary Sabat, a registered dietitian and ACE certified trainer, says this supplement is one of her top picks — and it’s easy to see why. It features a wide variety of vegetarian digestive enzymes, with no artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, coatings, GMOs, fillers, or preservatives.\r\n$59.80 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Best Food Supplements for Better Health\r\n\tBest Vitamins to Buy on Amazon\r\n\tThis Probiotic Helps You Improve Your Gut Health While Shaving Off a Few Pounds", "keywords": "What, Are, Digestive, Enzymes, How, These, Supplements, Can, Benefit, Your, Health", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "35", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2023/01/27-103844-what_are_digestive_enzymes_how_these_supplements_can_benefit_your_health.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/what-are-digestive-enzymes-how-these-supplements-can-benefit-your-health.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-10 07:10:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "175404", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Handle Having Different Political Views From Your Partner", "title_slug": "how-to-handle-having-different-political-views-from-your-partner", "title_hash": "0d44e629c933f2a1855b2f5f658c3826", "summary": "Disagree With Your Partner on Politics? Here’s How to Deal", "content": "In any relationship, there are bound to be a few things you disagree on — say, your feelings about pineapple on pizza, what show or movie to stream on a Friday night, or the “right” way to load the dishwasher. \r\nThese types of harmless disagreements are typically nothing more than a running joke or minor source of annoyance — they don’t really pose a risk to your bond. But what if you have different political views from your partner?\r\nRELATED: Can a Relationship Survive If You Have Different Political Views?\r\nAcross the board, experts agree that your relationship is not necessarily doomed just because you vote differently. In fact, they say these differences can actually lead to deeper conversations, and challenge your perspectives in ways that foster both compassion and personal growth. What matters, ultimately, is how you handle discussions about politics with each other. \r\n“It’s OK to have differing political views from your partner, as long as both people feel emotionally safe and respected,” explains Shelly Qualtieri, a registered social worker and therapist who works with couples. \r\n“Political beliefs are often shaped by personal experiences and values,” Qualtieri adds. “If each partner can recognize the other’s experiences without trying to change them, the relationship can remain healthy and grow stronger from those discussions.”\r\nWith that in mind, here are some tips to keep in mind when talking politics with your partner.\r\n1. Lead With Curiosity\r\nIt’s easy to make assumptions about your partner’s beliefs — how and why they developed them, for example — but doing so will probably only fuel misunderstandings and make it harder for you to empathize with them. \r\nThat’s why Qualtieri advises asking your partner how they arrived at their views, rather than jumping to conclusions. \r\n“This helps with understanding and lowers defensiveness,” she tells AskMen.\r\nIf your partner seems particularly passionate about a certain political topic, Katrina Gelazius, a licensed clinical professional counselor and owner of Feel Good Counseling Center, suggests asking something like “Can you help me understand why this matters to you?” \r\n2. Listen Actively\r\nAfter getting curious and posing questions to your partner, it’s important to actively listen to what they have to say. If you’re just mentally crafting your counterargument, you may not ever fully understand where they’re coming from.\r\n“Listening to your partner’s point of view without interrupting shows respect and willingness to understand their perspective,” says Matthew Glowiak, a licensed clinical professional counselor with Recovery.com. “Body language is also important here. Maintain eye contact as appropriate to show that you are truly paying attention to what is being said.”\r\n3. Set Boundaries\r\nSince politics can quickly become a charged topic, it’s a good idea to establish some ground rules around what you will and won’t accept during these conversations with each other.\r\n“Decide together when and where it’s okay to discuss politics,” says Qualtieri. \r\nRELATED: The Dos & Don'ts of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships \r\nFor example, you may decide that the subject is off-limits late at night, when you’re both tired or stressed, or after either or both of you have been drinking. Qualtieri also suggests limiting these talks during particularly heated seasons, like election cycles.\r\n“Boundaries prevent resentment and protect your emotional safety,” adds Rebecca Tenzer, a licensed clinical social worker also with Recovery.com. “Your partner’s birthday party, your child’s graduation, or a family event is not the time to bring up political differences.”\r\nIt’s also a good idea to have boundaries around when to pause — say, you start to raise your voices or you’re interrupting each other.\r\n4. Find Common Ground\r\nRather than fixating on all the things you and your partner don’t see eye to eye on, experts recommend trying to find areas of overlap.\r\n“When it truly comes down to it, when you ask individuals to share their personal views on a variety of topics, not all responses align with any one specific party,” explains Glowiak. “It’s actually common for many people to support some views that might be on the opposing side of the party they support.”\r\nTo find this common ground, Qualtieri suggests focusing on values to nurture a sense of unity and connection.\r\n“You may differ on policy but still care about fairness, safety, or opportunity,” she explains.\r\nRELATED: How to Respectfully Disagree With Your Partner During Tough Times\r\n5. Don’t Be a Dick About It\r\nThis may go without saying, but Qualtieri emphasizes that it’s important to avoid personal attacks, name-calling, or condescending language when talking to your partner about politics. Even a sarcastic tone can be destructive.\r\n“Say, ‘I see this differently,’ instead of ‘How can you possibly believe that?’” she explains. “And while you’re at it, avoid trying to ‘educate’ or shame your partner into changing their views. That power dynamic can be damaging if one person is more vocal or politically informed than the other.”\r\nBy the way, verbally mocking or criticizing your partner isn’t the only way to show disrespect during these conversations about politics — according to Gelazius, it’s crucial to be mindful of your nonverbal body language cues, too. \r\nRolling your eyes or pulling out your phone while they’re trying to express their thoughts and feelings can indicate that you don’t care to understand their point of view, and make them feel disrespected.\r\n“These types of behaviors damage trust,” says Gelazius.\r\nRemember, adds Tenzer — the aim here is not to “win,” it’s to reach a place of mutual understanding. \r\n6. Know When to Step Away\r\nTenzer also suggests having a plan for what to do when things start to escalate, such as taking a time out, or tabling the conversation.\r\n“This prevents saying things you might regret later,” says Glowiak. “People may forgive, but seldom do they forget. \r\nFor a helpful acronym, consider STAR: Stop, Think, And React. \r\nWhenever emotions run high, stop for a moment. Take some time to think, even if you need to step away for a while, and return to the conversation later when calmer and more coherent. \r\nFinally, Tenzer says you’ll likely just have to agree to disagree. If you keep trying to convince your partner of your beliefs or change their mind, the conversation may never end. Instead, work on accepting that you may never see eye to eye on certain things — and that’s OK.\r\n7. Build in a Debrief\r\n“After a political disagreement, take time to talk about how the conversation went,” says Tenzer. \r\n“It doesn’t have to be right away, but there should be some sort of discussion. What worked? What didn’t? What changes should be implemented so that both partners feel safe and heard?”\r\nTenzer suggests engaging in a light, neutral activity while having this debrief — like taking a walk around the neighborhood, cooking dinner together, or doing a puzzle. This is a great way to rebuild and repair after a potentially heated discussion.\r\n8. Limit Your Battles (And Choose Them Wisely)\r\nWhatever you do, don’t make politics a daily topic of conversation.\r\n“While it’s important to have meaningful discussions, political talk all the time can drain emotional energy and weaken your connection,” explains Tenzer. “Relationships are so much more than just debating policy.”\r\nIdeally, Tenzer says you should prioritize making time for date nights and opportunities to build intimacy.\r\n“That way, when you do have disagreements about politics or whatever else might come up, you’re more prepared to see the other person’s side, agree to disagree, and end with love and understanding,” she tells AskMen.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nRelationship Fights That Basically Every Couple HasWhat to Avoid Doing in an Argument With Your PartnerWhat Men Can Do to Help in a Post-Roe America", "keywords": "How, Handle, Having, Different, Political, Views, From, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-handle-having-different-political-views-from-your-partner/askmen-lead-image-2x1-10-1750446995.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-handle-having-different-political-views-from-your-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-10 07:10:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "174912", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everyone Marries the Love of Their Life. I Married the Enemy of My Progress", "title_slug": "everyone-marries-the-love-of-their-life-i-married-the-enemy-of-my-progress", "title_hash": "e5bb7a33d77d14c35884bd78216c02b2", "summary": "I met my husband at a movie audition. A friend of mine dragged me along. She wanted to become an actress, and I didn’t have the ambition or the skills. …", "content": "

I met my husband at a movie audition. A friend of mine dragged me along. She wanted to become an actress, and I didn’t have the ambition or the skills. But I went, and auditioned.

By the end of the day, one of the struggling actors became my friend. And eventually, we started dating. He was smart, creative, and he made me feel closer to him than anyone else ever had. He didn’t just say “I love you.” He showed it. We were everywhere together. There was no breathing space, no pause in between.

I had a pause, though. In spite of his creativity, he was a very broke man, barely making it through. I wanted to leave at that point, but I weighed the options. I always do. He was smart; I could make him rich. I also had skills, and I knew I could contribute. I wasn’t from a rich home either. I had struggled to pay my university fees, and I graduated with a first-class degree. Education was my ticket, my promise of a better lifeÄ.

A month into the relationship, he told me he had children with other women. He said he had made mistakes in the past but was now a changed man. “As long as you are a changed man, we are good to go.”

I was 28. My religion put marriage above everything, and I felt the pressure. I wanted to be married by 28, have my first child before 30. There was a script in my diary; I couldn’t deviate. So one day, I brought up marriage. He agreed to it, and six months later, we were legally married in a small ceremony, nothing extravagant, just love flying in the air.

At first, we moved into his parents’ house after the wedding. Then eventually, we had to rent our own place, which his siblings helped fund because we hadn’t saved enough. It was embarrassing, but I stayed. The dream was at the end of the tunnel, so I kept my eyes on it.

Around that time, he wrote a script for a television series. He was the main actor, and I became Production Manager. We were Executive Producers together. It was hard work with barely any resources, but we pushed through. And we got the show to be broadcast on a popular television station.

In the heat of all this, I got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy boy, and my presence on set gradually reduced. I had a baby to care for and a new job that allowed me to bring him along. The job helped supplement our household income. Slowly, we were getting by.

One day, he brought a set assistant home. “The woman has nowhere to sleep, can she stay here?” I agreed and treated her like family because, if you think about it, she was.

But one day, I went to set. It was meant to be a ta-da moment, only to discover my actor husband was sharing a room with her. Apparently, everyone on set knew except me. When I confronted him, of course he lied about it, but I didn’t back down until he handed the truth to me.

“You need to stop working with her, that’s all.” He called me wicked for saying that. I asked why. He retorted, “Can’t you see the poor girl needs help?” We never settled the matter, and it didn’t help matters because now he was cheating in my face, with no care in the world that I was his wife, or at least the mother of his child. There was a tingling pain in my chest every time I thought about it, so I tried, so much, to not think about it.

A few weeks later, she was in our home again. I was willing to put up a fight when he crossed me. “She’s staying, that’s all.” I had no choice but to agree. That morning, I left my husband and his girlfriend in my marital home.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I realized he had never changed. Everything I had endured, everything I had sacrificed, had been wasted. He had different goals, to be a sperm bank. I, too, had different goals, that is, to roar. So I packed my belongings while he was out and went to my mother’s house. I didn’t do it in his presence because I knew he wouldn’t allow it.

He came to my mother’s house the next day. He put up a show, pleaded, he kneeled, he wept more than Jesus did. Don’t worry, I didn’t move a step back to the place we called home.

Months later, I received a scholarship for my master’s degree. From there, my life transformed. I traveled, worked, built a house, bought a car, and saved enough to invest. I filed for divorce and finally closed that chapter of my life.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

My ex-husband’s life hasn’t changed much. He continues the same pattern, one woman, then the next. But I realized life is shaped by the choices we make. Leaving him was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I share my story as a warning and a lesson. Recognize when a situation doesn’t serve you. Don’t stay for fear, pressure, or tradition. You might lose yourself. I chose myself, and my life has been completely transformed. Always choose yourself.

—Sophie

#SB<>

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After marriage, my husband brought me to live in his father’s house. At first, his mother and his dad were living here with us. It was hard to live freely, but he promised me we were going to stay here for a few months while we looked for our own place. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months. He said a few months, but a year later, we were still living with his parents.

I was the one doing the domestic chores, and because I couldn’t do it for us alone, I added his parents’ household chores to ours. Weekends were slavery days. I washed, cleaned, swept, and cooked. I couldn’t go anywhere on weekends because of domestic chores. I didn’t complain. I only asked my husband when we were going to get a place of our own.

He lied to me about places he had gone to and landlords he had spoken with. When I found a place and showed him, he told me straight away the place was too expensive or too far or too small or too something. Even when we had a place similar to his father’s house, he kicked against it. His parents loved me, so that made it a little bit easier for me to stay with them.

Two years after marriage, his parents completed building their dream house and decided to move from the house we shared with them. You could imagine my joy and relief. The day they finally left, I threw myself on my bed and gave a very huge sigh. I slept and didn’t wake up until late dawn. I knew what it meant for my weekends and my life in general. For once in my marriage, I was going to live alone with my husband and make our own decisions. He told me, “I knew a day like this would come, that’s why I didn’t rush.”

I bought paint to repaint the master bedroom where his parents lived. We had to do a few fittings and plumbing work before moving there. I paid for all those works. This is how our finances worked: I earn more than my husband. When it comes to my 9-to-5 job, I don’t earn too much more than him, but I have a store and also another business that brings me money. I had all these before marriage, so I was expected to contribute financially too, which I didn’t have a problem with.

A few months after they left, I got pregnant. It was as if my system was shy of his parents and waited until they left before pregnancy. I had a boy, and two years later, I got pregnant again. I was six months pregnant when my husband told me, “My dad has retired and needs extra income, so he wants to rent out this place to get some extra income.”

I didn’t think twice about it. I said, “Then let’s rent it. It’s better than going out there looking for a place to live.” He agreed with me and said he was going to talk to his dad about it. When he came back, he said it was too expensive, so it was better we moved. His dad was going to charge GHC1,500 a month and needed two years’ advance.

I did the maths. In fact, it was expensive, but looking at other factors, we had no choice but to pay. It felt like a good deal considering the factors. My husband insisted it was too high, especially the two years’ advance. I asked how much he could contribute, and he said GHC10,000. Even that he had to borrow to top up. I said, “Fine, bring it, and I’ll add the rest.”

I was doing all that knowing very well that we had not paid rent since we got married, so that served as savings for us. When he was ready, I gave him GHC26,000 so he would add the rest to it. We paid. It was worth the peace and stability, and to be honest with you, looking at the location and size of the house, we were rather getting it at a good price.

Two years later, his dad adjusted the price upward and asked us to pay it yearly. That was also not bad. In fact, when it came to that house, everything was okay for me. I even teased that he should ensure he got that as his inheritance.

So one day, his dad got sick and we visited. His dad was not happy about a lot of things. He complained his children had abandoned him and they didn’t visit or call. He said, “And you, Bafi, you do not live far from me, but I’m seeing you today because I’m sick. You live in my house for free, but you won’t come around one day and say, ‘Dad, I got this for you.’ You’ll miss me when I’m dead.”

I turned to look at my husband, thinking he was going to remind his dad that we were not living in his house for free. Instead, he tried to change the topic or stop his dad mid-sentence, but the old man didn’t stop talking. “Your mom is weak now. You can even send your wife to cook something for us, but you’ve abandoned us.”

I was even embarrassed. We got home, and I asked about what his dad said, and he replied, “Are you taking what he said seriously? He’s too old and can’t remember a lot. He’s forgotten he rented this place to us for another stream of income.”

I’m not a child. My birth certificate says I wasn’t born yesterday. We argued. He was louder. He tried to use anger to make me stop talking. I told him I would get to the bottom of it and see who was lying. He huffed and puffed, but it didn’t stop me from asking his mother about it. The woman was surprised. “How can we rent our own house to our son? What for?”

His mom called to ask about it while I was home with him. All he said was, “Mom, don’t mind her. She’s just talking about what she doesn’t know. I’ll handle it.”

I said, “Go ahead and handle it. You’re stealing from your own wife because of what—greed? I only meant to support you, and you decided I was worth stealing from? Who’s supposed to provide a roof over our heads? Apart from all this, I’m still the one taking care of this home. How can you be this wicked?”

He walked away. I followed him from room to room until he walked out of the house, leaving me and my big belly with burning anger. He came back to listen to the final thing I had to say, and I did, thinking he would even apologize. He didn’t. I said, “My support in everything ends here. If you can make me buy what’s not for sale, then I’m keeping my money for something else.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He didn’t utter a word, so that’s how we live currently. I ask him for pesewas, and he pays everything, but I know the future can be very tricky, so I’ve started doing my own investments on the side, including investing in my own estate. He doesn’t know. Maybe one day, when I’m done, I can also rent it to us.

—Christy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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In 2022, my husband of nine years walked away. He abandoned the place we called home and refused to tell me why. He simply did not want to return. For two years, I gave him space, hoping for that one day he will return hom. Then, in 2024, he blocked me on every platform. He cut off all communication, intimacy, and support. There was no shelter provided and no money for food. Nothing.

After three years of silence, he showed up at the house by unexpectedly I was there nursing my mother, who had fallen seriously ill. I had brought her to stay with me so I could cater to her needs properly. I was stunned to see him after three whole years, but he barely spoke to me. He saw her condition and he left. I told myself that surely this would soften his heart. I expected him to unblock me and at least ask how she was doing.

Instead, my mother’s condition declined. While she was admitted at the hospital, I was running the house, raising my children, going to work, and reminding myself to stop and breathe. Eventually I had to stop going to work altogether because I could not keep up with everything at once.

Just as I believed that some sense of normal was returning to our lives, in September of that same year, my father fell sick too. I was now carrying the weight of two critically ill parents at the same time. The stress broke my own body, and I fell sick as well. My brother had to step in and become the one caring for all three of us. It was a horrible sight to see.

In October, I was rushed into emergency surgery. My pastor personally called my husband to tell him what had happened. Instead of calling to ask if I was okay, my husband happily told the pastor that God was punishing us. He did not say what sins we were being punished for.

Exactly two weeks after my surgery, my father passed away. As tradition demanded, a delegation informed my husband’s family, but not one of them came to offer condolences. During the one week observation, my husband showed up, but he acted like a stranger. He was not a son in law or a husband. He was nothing to us. He had to be forced to go and greet my mother. When he left, I was the one who called to check if he arrived safely. Despite everything, I felt he was still my husband.

I called hoping for answers to my many questions. He told me, “I am not under any pressure to call you or answer any of your questions.. I only came there because I was forced, and I wanted you to feel that.”

I was deeply hurt. This was a man I had clothed and fed. I had given him years of my life, yet he could not find a sliver of empathy for me. He gave 300 cedis as a donation, which I sent back to him. My family was furious with me and even forced me to apologize to him.

While we prepared for my father’s funeral, my mother passed away too. Both of them were gone at the same time. I broke down completely. I didn’t know how I would bury both parents or where I would find the money after millions had gone into their treatments. I was still healing from surgery and facing the biggest loss of my life. My only hope was in God.

My husband and his family skipped my mother’s one week observation. We traveled to Big Ada for my father’s burial, and they were absent there too, but his father showed up. A week before my mother’s funeral, a friend asked my husband why he hadn’t attended the burial. He answered boldly, without shame: “Yes, I didn’t come, and I won’t go to her mother’s funeral either.”

By the grace of God, my mother’s family and our loved ones rallied together. We gave both of my parents a befitting burial without him.

Exactly one week after my mother’s funeral, he unblocked me and called. He told me that Apostle Eric said I should call him. Because I respect the Apostle, I did. The Apostle is now encouraging me to forgive my husband.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Meanwhile, this man he is campaigning for has not said a single word of apology to me or my family. He has not visited or acknowledged his wickedness. This Easter Sunday, while we celebrated the rising of Christ, he called to ask how my conversation with the Apostle ended. I told him it did not end anywhere.

Because truly, where is there to go?

This is a man who moved away and cut me off. A man who watched me care for two dying parents while recovering from surgery. A man who called my suffering God’s punishment. A man who stood at my father’s one-week observation like a stranger and left without properly greeting my bedridden mother. A man who said he would not attend my mother’s funeral. A man who is calling now because a pastor told him to, not because his heart moved him.

The heart of man is truly wicked, and I am genuinely asking myself whether I am supposed to return to a marriage like this. I honestly do not know.

—Jacintha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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Anytime he starts giving me attitude in the morning, I know he might have gone through my phone during the night while I was sleeping and might have found something that doesn’t sit well with his spirit. He won’t find cheating on my phone or find me chatting inappropriately with another man. I’m not the one another man would call dear. I’m no one’s dear, so he wouldn’t find those things to get angry about, but by all means my husband will find something to swell about.

So that morning, after giving me the silent treatment for so long, and I was also trying not to engage him, he burst out, “How much did you send your father yesterday?”

We both have a joint account that we contribute to equally. He earns more, but that doesn’t prevent him from asking me to contribute the same amount as he does. The account is for emergencies and also for future projects. He doesn’t touch it, and I don’t touch it.

But after contributing that much, I’m left with very little. He complains that he’s the one who takes care of me, so I shouldn’t have the right to complain about how much I have left after contributing to the joint account.

But this is what he doesn’t understand: that I have parents who would call every now and then to ask me for favors. They are old and retired. Unfortunately for me, I belong to the generation where our parents used us as their retirement benefit, and I’m also the eldest, so whenever their wheels run dry, I’m the one they ask for oil.

I don’t have much, but I try to save something for my parents, and my husband has a problem with that. According to him, I should let him know when I’m sending money to my parents and how much. His parents are dead, but that doesn’t stop him from sending money to his aunts and uncles once in a while.

So that morning, when he asked about how much I sent to my dad, I decided to ignore him. He wouldn’t let me go, so he held me by the shoulders and talked over me in a raised voice, “I know how much you sent, but I want you to repeat it. So you have this much and you still tell me you don’t earn much?”

I still ignored him because we’d had that conversation over and over again. Everything I say gets him angrier. He started shouting, “Ever since we got married, all you think about is your family. When was the last time you bought something for me? When was the last time you took care of this house without me? But you’ll have money for your family.”

Not that I haven’t tried to do more. I tried. A friend of mine was selling kids’ items, and I decided to help her by posting on my status. That day, I couldn’t count the number of people who asked me if I had this or that in stock. It pricked my intuition that I could sell something and make money.

I started selling items on my status. I even discussed with him that I was going to take a loan from the office so I could buy more. He said, “You still want to take a loan with this your little income?” I asked him to give me a loan himself or let me borrow from the joint account. He said no.

I struggled bit by bit to buy and sell on my status and on Facebook. Just when I was picking up steam to buy more and sell more, this man said, “Why are you behaving like I don’t take good care of you, so you have to sell? You’re allowing this to take all your time, and I hate it.”

I tried to hide and do it, but he caught me because we live in the same house. He pushed me out of that trade and told me if that was what I wanted to do, I should go to my parents’ house to do it.

It hurt me so badly that I cried. He had done a lot of things to me that felt like bullying, but none made me cry until that day. I had to stop because I wanted my marriage to work. We were only two years in, and I didn’t want to be the one to wreck it.

My mom got sick. I tried with my other two siblings, but we needed more money as time went on. So out of frustration, I ended the standing order on my account so that month I could have my full salary. That was the only way for me to raise enough. When my husband realized my contribution didn’t hit the joint account, he asked why, and I told him I cancelled the standing order. He asked why. I told him, “My mom’s health was at stake here.”

He got triggered because I’d mentioned my family. I knew everything he would say, so I prepared for it. He didn’t say anything new apart from asking why I got married if my family was that important to me. I said, “You won’t give me when I ask you. Why did you marry me if you’re not ready to help me in any way?”

That got him livid, and he started acting like a possessed fetish. “Who feeds you in this house? The roof over your head, who made it possible? The utilities, who pays them? I wouldn’t have married you if I knew you would be this ungrateful.”

I’d had enough, and it was up to my neck. I responded, “Do you think I would have married you if I knew you would be this cold towards my needs?”

For the first time, I spoke back, and he didn’t enjoy it. He started packing my things and throwing them at me. “Then there’s no need to be here. Go back to your parents and leave me alone.”

I sat and watched. He held me by the shoulders and shoved me out. I didn’t take anything, but I left. I’m not from a rich home, but where he found me and married me, there was peace. I went home and slept without telling my parents the issue. They knew there was a problem, so they pushed until I let it all out. My dad screamed, “Wow!” My mom was dumbfounded.

They didn’t advise me to go back or tell me what to do. I went back and took a few things while he wasn’t home. We didn’t talk for four days. I called him and said, “I need the money I’ve contributed in the joint account, and I need it as soon as possible.” He cut the line on me.

I went back and took a few things while he wasn’t there. Little by little, I got the most important things I needed to live life normally. Three weeks later, he called to ask me when I was coming home and said I shouldn’t make him push me away completely. In his own words, he said, “Don’t make me decide that you shouldn’t come here again. You better come back before we get to that point.” I responded, “Oh, you’re still not at that point? You better get there fast because I’m not coming back.”

I didn’t talk back until I had to, and he realized I’d crossed a certain line. That was when he called my dad. My dad told him point-blank that he didn’t have any respect, so he wouldn’t like to engage with him. “Your wife is here; you can come and take her, but don’t bring me into this issue.”

Two months later, he’s here with his parents apologizing and asking me to go back home. Fortunately for me, I’ve learned to live without him, and I’ve been comfortable doing that, so I’m not going back again. It’s suffocating in there.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He’s begging through other people, but he hasn’t had the courage to look me in the face and say he’s sorry. I don’t mind. The next time he hears from me is going to be me asking for divorce and my savings so I can begin life again on my own terms. This won’t work for me. It’s too stifling, and I’m not made for that.

—Christabel

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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In January, my husband visited me in the UK for three weeks. At the time, I was moving out of a shared apartment because my housemates had relocated and I could not afford the rent alone. I stayed temporarily at a colleague’s place while waiting for checks to clear for my new job. Space was tight, so I had to put my belongings in storage unit and pay for the space.

During his visit, he spent about £1,850 on my credit card. He gave me £700 in cash and promised to repay the rest once his salary came in. Since then, it has been a cycle of excuses. He says, “I will pay you Monday,” but when Monday arrives, another reason follows. His latest line is, “I am investinf in a building project here in Ghana. I will sort you out when I am done.”

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Over the last three months, he has sent two partial payments of £550 and £400, but a balance remains. To protect my credit score, I have used my own salary to cover his spending. Balancing that against my own bills has been exhausting. Right now, I am trying to secure a new rental. Between the deposit, rent in advance, and moving costs, my savings are drained. To make matters worse, I have a period of unpaid leave coming up. This means I will have no income for several weeks.

I have gone over it again and again in my head. At some point, it starts to feel like I am waiting for money to fall from the sky. I feel the weight of it when I wake up and when I try to sleep. I have barely asked him for help before this, apart from what he spent during that visit. Still, I am left here, counting and stretching.

He earns over £ 5,000 a month. He pays no rent and has no bills because his company covers everything. Before this, I had never asked him for a single pound.

Because of my anger, I have said things I cannot take back. Words that should have been filtered came out without restraint.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

When I pick up the phone, I whisper to myself to stay calm and speak gently. I tell myself to just ask him for the money. I breathe in and breathe out, rehearsing patience. But the moment his voice comes through, my own rises. I am already shouting because he is being unreasonable. His words feel like walls, and I crash against them.

I do not know if I am asking too much or if my expectations are fair. All I know is that I need to find a way to ask him for the rest of the money.

—Denise

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
\n#SB<>

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This story was originally reported by Nadra Nittle of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

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The same battle is playing out in classrooms nationwide: an effort to blur the line between church and state. Especially in the South, from Texas to Tennessee, lawmakers are attempting to impose religion on public schools. They’re pushing the Ten Commandments, organized prayer sessions, and the use of taxpayer dollars to fund faith-based charter schools.

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The erosion of church-state boundaries in public education is worrisome enough on its own, critics of the trend contend—more so because states aren’t merely promoting benign Judeo-Christian values. Instead, critics say, these efforts reflect a White Christian nationalist agenda intended to marginalize students and families based on gender, sexuality, race, and religion. Moreover, legislative efforts to mandate religious displays or prayer often coincide with curriculum restrictions.

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“Look no further than the religious extremists that were restricting the curriculum in Florida,” said Rachel Laser, president and CEO of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. “‘Don’t say gay.’ No DEI. ‘Don’t teach about menstruation.’ Girls are implicated, right?”

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Florida has not passed laws requiring the Ten Commandments in classrooms, but it has taken other steps, such as allowing chaplains to counsel students in public schools. The state is currently considering a constitutional amendment on religious expression that could weaken the church-state boundary in public education there.

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Religious freedom advocates say their concern isn’t just the presence of religious texts in classrooms, but how school personnel may explain them to students. The Ten Commandments, for example, contains language that frames women in relation to men. Take the commandment against coveting, they say, which discusses a neighbor’s wife in the same context as property—a reflection of the patriarchal perspective of biblical times but one that can shape how children today understand gender roles.

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Laser said that when a narrow version of Christianity is injected into public schools, it is often used to single out students who are already vulnerable.

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“There is a very active crusade to ruin the line between church and state,” she said. “It’s unconstitutional, un-American, against the will of the people, and ultimately, will also be very dangerous for religion itself.”

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Over the past year, the mix of legal victories and new strategies employed by conservative lawmakers nationally has alarmed religious freedom advocates. They celebrated in 2024 when a federal judge blocked Louisiana’s Ten Commandments mandate for all public schools to display the scripture in classrooms. That same year, Louisiana passed a law requiring public school personnel to only use the names and pronouns on students’ birth certificates, unless they had parental permission to do otherwise. This February, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals reversed the decision to block the state’s Ten Commandments law. To date this year, over a dozen states have introduced legislation to post the religious text in classrooms.

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Imposing religion on schools—according to John C. Williams, legal director of the ACLU of Arkansas—tests the limits of the First Amendment during a time when the Supreme Court has taken an ultraconservative turn.

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“The First Amendment is often thought of as a speech amendment, but religious liberty is much part of that right,” Williams said. The amendment’s establishment and the free exercise clauses prohibit the government from instituting an official religion or infringing on individual religious practice.

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The Bible Belt is only part of the picture, experts and advocates say. Last year, about 20 states introduced Ten Commandments bills. They include Montana, Idaho, the Dakotas, Minnesota, and Ohio, but the legislation did not pass in most states where it was introduced.

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No matter their location, states attempting to copy Louisiana’s playbook—the Pelican State was the first to pass Ten Commandments legislation since Kentucky did in 1978—are encountering resistance from the courts and the public.

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In March, a federal court permanently blocked Act 573, an Arkansas law that would have mandated every public school classroom and library post a King James version of the Ten Commandments selected by the state government. Just a few years earlier, the state passed the LEARNS Act and Act 542, which restricted discussions of LGBTQ+ topics in public schools. The laws also prohibited public school employees from using students’ preferred pronouns without parental consent if they clash with those assigned at birth. In his ruling about Act 573, U.S. District Judge Timothy Brooks wrote that “the only reason to display a sacred, religious text in every classroom is to proselytize to children.”

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The ACLU of Arkansas represented families in the case. “I think the federal court recognized what was pretty clear from precedent already, which is that hanging the Ten Commandments in every public school classroom is unconstitutional,” Williams said.

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For the religious and nonreligious families who brought the suit, the issue was also deeply personal, since they felt that the requirement violated their right to direct their children’s religious upbringing, Williams said.

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But the win doesn’t mean Arkansas and other states will abandon efforts to smudge the lines between church and state in schools. The wave of Ten Commandments bills is part of a larger legal game plan, Laser contends. The aim is to prompt a “circuit split,” she said, which occurs when federal appeals courts rule differently on similar laws, forcing the Supreme Court to intervene and potentially reverse decades of precedent.

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That strategy recently saw some success. Although a federal court initially blocked Louisiana’s Ten Commandments law, the full 5th Circuit permitted its enforcement as the case goes forward—a procedural move that has concerned opponents. Meanwhile, a Texas Ten Commandments law remains in litigation.

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“They’re using every possible opening to get this case back before the Supreme Court,” Laser said.

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The Ten Commandments law isn’t the only policy sparking debates over religion in Texas. Last year, the state legislature passed Senate Bill 11, which requires every public school district to hold a vote on whether to adopt a “period of prayer and religious study” during the school day. The deadline for the votes was March 1.

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The outcome marked a win for religious freedom advocates thanks to grassroots organizing in the state’s 1,200 school districts.

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“An incredible number of school districts all across the state … voted to reject SB 11,” Caro Achar, engagement coordinator for free speech and pluralism at the ACLU of Texas, told The 19th. “That’s because inviting state-organized prayer into public schools would cause division and pressure students to conform.”

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Achar also questioned the need for the law, pointing out that Texas students—like their peers across the country—already have the right to practice their faith.

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“Texas students already have robust rights to voluntarily pray, to read religious literature, including the Bible, to engage in other religious activities during their free time,” she said. SB 11 instead serves to “hand over that practice of prayer to educators who neither wanted nor were qualified to guide that practice.” Last year, Texas also passed SB 12, which prohibits conversations about race, gender identity, and sexual orientation in K-12 schools.

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A 2025 poll by the Pew Research Center found that 61 percent of Texans support school-led Christian prayers, while 38 percent oppose them.

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Supporters of church-state separation warn that when schools take on a more active role in students’ religious lives, the consequences can extend beyond questions of constitutionality. It “can certainly open the door to mistreatment or exclusion or bullying, not just by educators but by other members of the school community,” Achar said.

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A diverse coalition—including the ACLU, the Texas Freedom Network, the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty, and the National Council of Jewish Women—swayed school districts to reject the measure. This indicates, Laser said, that support for church-state separation crosses partisan and religious lines.

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“Christians and non-theists and religious minorities are rising up across this entire country,” she said.

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Some conservative states have pushed the boundaries of church-state separation well beyond the Ten Commandments and school prayer. They’re attempting to make taxpayer funds available to launch religious charter schools. In 2024, Oklahoma officials attempted to open the nation’s first religious charter school, St. Isidore of Seville Catholic Virtual School, but the Oklahoma Supreme Court blocked that effort, a decision the Supreme Court let stand last year. But religious education proponents in Oklahoma remain undeterred.

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In February, the Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board rejected the application of yet another religious public charter school, Ben Gamla Jewish Charter School. On March 25, the founding group of the school filed suit against the state’s attorney general and the charter school board in federal court on religious discrimination grounds. On Wednesday, a group of predominantly Jewish Oklahoma parents filed a motion to join the lawsuit out of concern that Ben Gamla plans to select students and staff based on religious affiliation.

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The strategy behind the repeated attempts to establish religious charter schools is clear, Laser said, pointing out how Justice Amy Coney Barrett recused herself from the St. Isidore case due to her ties to the legal team representing the school.

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“The strategy is, use every possible opening to get this case back before the Supreme Court where Amy Coney Barrett doesn’t have to recuse herself again,” she said, “and then let’s try to allow religious public schools in America.”

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In Tennessee, a similar battle is underway over Wilberforce Academy, a proposed religious charter school in Knox County. The founders of that school sued the Knox County Board of Education on religious discrimination grounds in November when the agency prevented it from opening the institution. But a federal judge earlier this year allowed a team of parents and taxpayers to join the lawsuit. The group says they’re concerned about public funds being used to support Wilberforce should it open in an unprecedented move nationally.

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As legal battles continue to unfold, the outcome may ultimately hinge not just on the courts but on how much the public is willing to accept religion’s role in public education. Increasingly, advocates say, the answer is becoming clear.

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“Americans are awakening to what it looks like to live in a country without church-state separation, and they don’t like it,” Laser said.

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The post The Push to Include Religion in Classrooms Could Shape How Schools Treat Gender and Identity appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Push, Include, Religion, Classrooms, Could, Shape, How, Schools, Treat, Gender, and, Identity", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/gender-and-identity-students-web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/06/the-push-to-include-religion-in-classrooms-could-shape-how-schools-treat-gender-and-identity/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-09 10:07:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "174626", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Women’s Health Surgeries Reimbursed at Lower Rates, Doctors Say", "title_slug": "womens-health-surgeries-reimbursed-at-lower-rates-doctors-say", "title_hash": "17809d1325be61c541dca16071472f56", "summary": "A decades-old system for calculating insurance reimbursements can undervalue gynecological operations, delaying patient care and increasing out-of-pocket costs.\nThe post Women’s Health Surgeries Reimbursed at Lower Rates, Doctors Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Minna Lee Jamison spent years in pain waiting for a diagnosis. When a specialist finally approved her for surgery, she was forced to wait three more years.

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Lee Jamison has endometriosis, a chronic disease that occurs when tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside of the uterus. People with endometriosis can experience extreme pain, inflammation, scarring, and even infertility.

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Many people need excision surgery to remove the tissue—Lee Jamison included. But she had to battle insurance denials and long surgery waitlists, ultimately delaying her physician-recommended surgery from 2020 to 2023.

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“There are already few specialist surgeons out there, and fewer surgeons that accept insurance,” Lee Jamison told Rewire News Group in an email. “I was 96th on the waitlist for a consult appointment.”

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Lee Jamison is not alone. An estimated 11 percent of women of reproductive age in the U.S. suffer from endometriosis and many need surgery. But patients face exceedingly long wait times and high out-of-pocket costs. Now, gynecologic surgeons are speaking out about one factor they believe is contributing to the problem: inequitable distribution of surgical reimbursements.

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An antiquated system

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I will begin my training as a resident physician soon, and after four years of medical school, I have a deep understanding of who pays for health-care in the U.S., how—and of the many flaws built into this system.

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In the U.S., insurance reimbursements for surgical procedures are driven by a decades-old federal structure known as the relative value units (RVU) system. The system uses physician work, practice expenses, and malpractice insurance costs to determine physician reimbursement.

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Dr. Louise P. King, a gynecological surgeon, lawyer, and Harvard Medical School professor who teaches medical ethics, has been at the forefront of identifying and studying RVU disparities.

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“The RVU system was created in the 1980s through a portion of the Social Security Act,” she said. “Prior to that time, physicians would charge whatever they thought was the right amount of money.”

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To ensure procedures had an objective, standard cost, researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health in 1985 designed studies to decipher how much different procedures and clinical work would be worth in RVUs.

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Under the system Harvard developed, which first applied to Medicare in 1992, RVU values are assigned to the various diagnostic codes used by providers to bill for their services. To determine how much the provider is then paid, the RVU value is multiplied by a yearly dollar amount determined by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.

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For example, an office visit between a doctor and their existing patient has an assigned value of 1.96 RVUs. Multiplied by the 2026 CMS amount of $33.26, the provider can expect Medicare to reimburse about $65 for the visit.

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In theory, the longer and more complex a procedure was, the more RVUs would get assigned, leading to a higher payment for the surgery. But the system had some glaring omissions.

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“They did studies of cardiology and colorectal surgery … things that were for all people but were used disproportionately by men,” King said. “They ignored obstetrics and gynecology, and just slapped some numbers on it.”

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As a result, women’s health care was severely undervalued from the start of the RVU system’s implementation, King said.

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Under federal law, the RVU system is only required to be applied to Medicare payments. But many states have set Medicaid payments based on these rates. Private insurers have also followed suit, making the system a national standard for what patients pay for their health care.

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And while an updates committee has since been formed to allow for changes to RVU fees, the leading professional organization for OB-GYNs—the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology—has only one vote on the 32-member panel.

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“We don’t have enough voice to make the changes we need to see,” King said.

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That problem is exacerbated by regulations that cap the total number of RVUs that can be doled out for procedures. If gynecological surgeons need more RVUs allotted to endometriosis surgery, they have to be taken from other specialties.

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This problem doesn’t only impact endometriosis patients. Any patient needing gynecological surgery—fibroid removal, hysterectomies, prolapse repair—is impacted by the current RVU system. But the gynecological surgeons RNG interviewed said endometriosis is the most obvious and egregious example.

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Gynecologic surgery doesn’t carry ‘value’

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The RVU system’s undervaluation of gynecologic surgery ultimately leads to a disparity in patient care. When a gynecological surgeon operates on someone with female anatomy, their surgery is worth less to insurance and hospitals than a surgery for someone with male anatomy, urogynecologist and OB-GYN Dr. Jocelyn Fitzgerald told Rewire News Group.

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“Our patients just don’t carry the same level of value in the hospital,” Fitzgerald, who is vocal about disparities in RVU reimbursement on social media, said.

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In a 2025 study on reimbursements for surgeries on male versus female anatomies, RVUs for procedures on male patients were 30 percent higher on average. The study also found that the disparity has persisted for more than three decades, despite the continuous growth and development of gynecological surgery.

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“If I’m walking into the hospital alongside my husband—he has a male reproductive issue, and I have a female reproductive issue—already all the money that goes to the hospital is a third more to him,” King said. “Just because he has a penis and I have a vagina.”

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When Lee Jamison’s surgeon operated on her endometriosis—a complex surgery that can take up to eight hours to complete—her surgery was worth 12.15 RVUs. A shoulder-joint surgery that typically takes 30 minutes to 1 hour is worth 15 RVUs. That means a hospital can make ten times the amount of money in eight hours of an orthopedic surgery than it can for one eight-hour endometriosis surgery.

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As a result, endometriosis surgeons say, their cases are deprioritized by administrators. It also means facilities might have fewer surgeons and support staff, and those providers are given less time in the operating room, causing excision surgery wait times to go up.

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Many surgeons feel they cannot sustain their practice with in-network insurance billing alone. As a result, many leave to seek better pay in cash-based private practice where many patients pay out-of-pocket for their surgeries.

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“There has been a meteoric rise in cash-based endometriosis excision practices,” Fitzgerald said. “There are some who are really extorting women in pain for a cash-based surgery.”

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At the most recent national American Association of Gynecologic Laparoscopists conference, Fitzgerald noted there were exhibit halls of people trying to recruit specialist gynecological surgeons out of academia. A surgeon working at a public, academic institution gets paid a quarter of what a surgeon makes at a cash-based practice, said Fitzgerald.

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The cost eventually lands on the patient. Patients are funneled into paying out of pocket, waiting years for specialist surgery. In some cases, they may seek surgery from less experienced surgeons, risking harm.

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“Endometriosis is as common as diabetes, and it’s completely debilitating,” Fitzgerald said. “Women will do anything for high level excision … they are mortgaging their homes, and going into credit card debt.”

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Shifting incentives

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Gynecological surgeons say there are ways to get this problem addressed.

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Patients can petition their congressional representatives and tell their stories through letters, King said. Campaign fundraisers are a good place for congressional leaders running for office to listen to patient stories as well.

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King added that patients can call hospital administrations to ask them to hire surgeons who specialize in gynecological surgery to decrease wait times for patients who need to see endometriosis excision specialists and increase access to safe surgeries for complex patients.

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Physicians also have work to do, said King, who herself has extensively researched the RVU reimbursement system’s disparities. Her research and publications are featured in a 109-page article in the Emory Law Journal from 2024 that includes legal approaches to what patients, physicians, and the federal government can do to change this system.

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Currently, King is working with other physicians and lawyers on the Surgical Parity Project, a new advocacy group that raises awareness about sex discrimination in health-care reimbursement. The project is in its early stages, but it will help people engage and advocate for change.

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“We need to rethink the way we incentivize the care that we provide people,” King said. “If they don’t fix it within my lifetime, I will dust off my law degree and get out there, because it’s just got to change.”

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The post Women’s Health Surgeries Reimbursed at Lower Rates, Doctors Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Women’s, Health, Surgeries, Reimbursed, Lower, Rates, Doctors, Say", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Gynecologic-Surgeons-Billing-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/08/endometriosis-excision-surgery-reimbursement-inequality/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-09 10:07:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "174627", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Cancer Can Often Be Treated Safely During Pregnancy: New Expert Guidance", "title_slug": "cancer-can-often-be-treated-safely-during-pregnancy-new-expert-guidance", "title_hash": "a51d1eb3b970e4cd4361bf9455ed7aee", "summary": "Chemotherapy and surgery were long assumed to be dangerous for the fetus, but the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine now says that cancer treatment should not be withheld just because a patient is pregnant.\nThe post Cancer Can Often Be Treated Safely During Pregnancy: New Expert Guidance appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Historically, pregnant people diagnosed with cancer have faced the wrenching choice of deciding whether to terminate their pregnancies in order to undergo cancer treatment, or delay care until giving birth—in some cases, earlier than ideal for a healthy delivery. That’s because treatments like chemotherapy and surgery were often avoided out of fears that they could cause miscarriage or birth defects.

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But as cancer rates among people of reproductive age rise—including an uptick in pregnancy-associated breast cancer and cervical cancer—the leading professional organization for OB-GYNs who treat high-risk patients has issued its first-ever guidance for the treatment of people diagnosed with cancer during pregnancy. Cancer treatment should not be withheld solely because a patient is pregnant, the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine announced on March 12, 2026.

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Previously, there were no specific guidelines for OB-GYNS from the organization, meaning oncologists and other providers advised pregnant patients on their treatment options on a case-by-case basis. The new guidelines reflect more recent data that suggests cancer care is safe under certain conditions.

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The group further recommends that surgery for cancer should not be delayed or denied at any point in pregnancy; that chemotherapy can be given after 12 weeks’ gestation or earlier in consultation with oncology providers; and that pregnant people should have access to a full range of reproductive health options, including abortion care.

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“This document brings together the best available evidence to help manage pregnant patients with cancer while supporting both maternal health and pregnancy goals,” said Dr. Moti Gulersen, the lead author of the guidance, in a press release.

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The new guidance will affect the estimated 5,300 people in the U.S. diagnosed with cancer during pregnancy each year. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists in the U.K. released similar breast cancer-specific guidance last year.

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Rewire News Group spoke with maternal-fetal medicine specialist Dr. Elyce Cardonick, a co-author of the new guidance who tracks maternal and fetal outcomes related to cancer in pregnancy, to learn more about what these new guidelines mean for pregnant people with the disease.

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The following conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

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What’s the main takeaway of the new guidance?

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If you’re diagnosed with cancer, you don’t have to choose between your baby’s life and your own life in the sense that you don’t have to choose between getting cancer treatment or not getting cancer treatment, having your pregnancy or not having your pregnancy. You can have both, in most cases.

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I want pregnant women to … ask: “If I weren’t pregnant, how would you treat me?” And try to be treated as closely as possible.

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And if your doctor would wait when you’re not pregnant, fine. But if they’re saying they would wait only because you’re pregnant, then we need to look at what the treatment involves and if we can still give it while you’re pregnant. We just don’t want the knee-jerk reaction to be that you have to terminate or you can’t be treated.

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It may be that you don’t need treatment, but I just want to make sure pregnancy, for the sake of the first discussion, is taken out of the equation.

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Was there anything specific that spurred the guidance?

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I’ve been saying for a long time—[cancer in pregnancy] is becoming more common, and is something we really need to address.

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You could go through a whole obstetric career and never have a pregnant patient who has cancer, or go through a whole oncology career and never have a cancer patient who’s pregnant. … Each case was kind of handled one at a time, thinking, ‘Well, this is never going to happen again.’

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Now, it is becoming more common. And women getting pregnant older is a little bit of a risk factor for cancer in pregnancy. So as the population is getting pregnant later, the need for these guidelines came.

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How common is cancer in pregnancy? Are there certain cancers that you see more commonly in pregnant people?

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Cancer occurs in about 1 in 1,000 pregnancies. … The most common is breast. But we also see lymphoma, cervical cancer.

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For ovarian cancers, because we’re doing ultrasounds of the fetus, we can pick up ovarian cancers earlier than if the person wasn’t pregnant. … Or you’re looking at the cervix. So let’s say someone’s not due for a Pap smear but they come in with vaginal bleeding. You put a speculum in and you look at the cervix for the source of bleeding, and you see a tumor. So there’s certain things that get done in pregnancy that might pick it up earlier that may not have happened if you weren’t pregnant.

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On the contrary, sometimes things you might notice [are dismissed as symptoms] because you’re pregnant. … So if you have a breast mass someone might say, “oh, that might be due to pregnancy,” whereas if you weren’t pregnant, you’d go right to mammogram or ultrasound. … If you have rectal bleeding, constipation, they [may] say “oh that’s due to pregnancy,” while meanwhile, you have a tumor—or colon or rectal cancer—and because you’re pregnant, they think those symptoms are due to pregnancy.

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So sometimes pregnancy helps the diagnosis and sometimes the pregnancy hinders a diagnosis.

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You can say to your [provider], “If I wasn’t pregnant, what would you do with my rectal bleeding? What would you do with my breast mass? I want to be evaluated the same as if I weren’t pregnant.”

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That’s why I love the question: “How would you evaluate me if I weren’t pregnant?”

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What do we know about the kinds of cancer treatments that are safe in pregnancy?

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Surgery can be done at any time during pregnancy. General anesthesia, spinal anesthesia, epidural anesthesia. You don’t have to be second trimester—[it] can be done at any time.

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Radiation depends on the gestational age of the patient and the location of the tumor. So if there’s a brain tumor, and the [pregnancy is] only 12 weeks … the distance between the tumor and the uterus is such that you can safely give radiation in pregnancy. … If you have a pelvic tumor, it’s going to be hard to do radiation because the fetus is right there.

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We avoid chemotherapy in the first trimester, and we ideally would like to start it after the first trimester is finished. And some chemotherapy does cross the placenta. However, if you wait three weeks from the last chemotherapy to deliver, in most cases, the placenta has a chance to metabolize that chemotherapy.

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When we do developmental testing on children who have been exposed to chemotherapy…they performed just as well on developmental testing, learning testing [as other children who weren’t exposed]. There are some issues … with short-term memory. But the long-term memory is fine. And even though there was a difference, it still fell within normal range for what it should be. These babies do very well.

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In some cases of recurrent cancer—recurrent lymphoma or metastatic melanoma—we do have information that certain immunotherapies can be safe to give. But these are the sicker of the sickest patients. … We’re [still] learning more about immunotherapy and pregnancy.

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How do you think this guidance will impact the access to and quality of care that patients diagnosed with cancer in pregnancy get?

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I ask every pregnant person diagnosed with cancer if they were advised to terminate their pregnancy. Of all pregnant women who contacted the cancer and pregnancy [database] after a diagnosis of cancer in the first 15 years, 20 percent told me their physicians had recommended a termination. When I looked at the subsequent 15 years of the database collection, recommendation has decreased to 12 percent.

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So I hope that this guideline continues to have that decrease. It’s not that termination is never warranted. … But it shouldn’t be the first response, until you’ve investigated what your options are.

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The post Cancer Can Often Be Treated Safely During Pregnancy: New Expert Guidance appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This story was originally published by Uncloseted Media, an LGBTQ focused investigative news outlet.

This story contains mention of suicide and self-harm. If you or someone you know needs support, resources are available here.

At 12 years old, upon returning home from school, I saw my dad sitting in the living room. I immediately knew something was wrong.

“Come here,” he said, with my computer in his lap. He proceeded to show me the pictures of men kissing that he had found in my search history.

“If you live this way, either you’re gonna kill yourself or someone’s going to go out and kill you for it,” he told me. “And neither of those things matter because God will never love you again.”

I couldn’t say anything. In our world, my dad was the one with the answers. He was an elder in our church, the second-highest rung in authority and the highest form of control. If he said it, it had to be true.

For the next two years, I pretended like my feelings weren’t there. I felt like I was just waiting for the rest of my life to collapse. I knew being gay wasn’t an option.

So when I found conversion therapy at 15, it felt like the answer. I didn’t know it would cause me to spend the next seven years of my life undoing myself.

I became one of the nearly 700,000 Americans who have gone through conversion therapy. Though 23 states have implemented some bans on LGBTQ+ kids from receiving the discredited practice, the Supreme Court ruled on Tuesday that Colorado must relegalize it.

When I learned the news, my heart sank. The Supreme Court made the decision to side lawyers from Alliance Defending Freedom, a Southern Poverty Law Center-designated anti-LGBTQ+ hate group.

I was horrified. I understood the pain. I had experienced suicidal thoughts. And I knew that this decision would cost lives.

The program

I was raised in Seattle in the International Churches of Christ, a high-control religious organization that was founded in the 1970s and spread to over 130 countries.

Church was not just something we did on Sundays. It was our social life, our worldview, our moral code, our hierarchy, and our family reputation. It was the way we understood what was good and what was dangerous.

The messaging was constant: Church services, Bible talks, discipling times, camps, small groups, leadership meetings behind closed doors where I was told not to listen.

Everyone watched everyone. If you sinned, you confessed. Information traveled upward. Shame traveled downward.

So when a camp counselor told me in the ninth grade that he used to struggle with same-sex attraction and that he could help me, it felt like I had a way out.

He introduced me to Strength in Weakness, a conversion therapy ministry that would consume my life.

After telling my mom I had found a solution, I logged into their eerie-looking online community for people trying to resist homosexual thoughts.

In a section called “Help For All Christians,” there were articles titled “Are YOU Same Sex Attracted and Need Help? START HERE” and “HELP! My Roommate is Gay!” I paid the $55 membership fee and got going.

The expectation was up to an hour a day, sometimes alone and sometimes with other people. You read scripture. You catalogued your temptations. You prayed for strength. You reported back.

They framed homosexuality as a quick fix to a life of emptiness.

If I developed feelings for a boy, I was taught to cut the relationship off. If I found someone attractive, I was taught to confess, analyze it, and shut it down. Attraction was treated like a warning flare: not yet sin, but always only one step away.

The program turned my mind into a hostile environment. I was taught that my body would betray me and that a crush was a spiritual emergency. I monitored my eyes, my thoughts, my friendships, my fantasies, my posture, my tone, and my body. And because I had never been with a boy, I told myself it must be working. I was miserable and shrinking inside—but I was holding on. And in the eyes of Strength in Weakness, I was succeeding.

But it wasn’t working.

Anxiety became a permanent condition.

The loneliness it created

But the hardest thing was the loneliness.

Inside the church, I was the person with the secret defect. Outside of it, I was unbearably Christian. I didn’t belong anywhere.

I spent hours on the Strength in Weakness chat room waiting for just one friend who understood me. Nobody came.

By the time I was 17, I consistently thought about killing myself. More than once, I stood on top of a parking garage looking down onto the street, wishing for a breeze to take me.

The only thing that stopped me was my family. Even then, I was thinking in terms of what burden I could spare them.

Even though my strength began to falter, I stayed with the program through college.

The leader, Guy Hammond—who founded the organization and who had “lived an active gay life until he was 24 years old”—had taken me under his wing. He was likely attracted to my clean track record of having never kissed a boy.

I was flown to conferences. I began counseling older men who were struggling and making content promoting conversion therapy on social media.

Guy sung me his praise. He referred me to Exodus International, a Christian organization that promoted conversion therapy to hundreds of local ministries. The organization shut down in 2013 and has apologized for the harm it caused.

Being pulled deeper into the ministry made the performance more demanding. The more Guy trusted me, the more I felt I had to live up to the image they had built around me: the disciplined one, the faithful one, the proof that this could work. So I kept counseling people even as my own life was unlivable.

The beginning of escape

For years, I believed that if I held on, God might make a different life for me. But eventually, reality started outrunning doctrine. I remember I was at the supermarket and I thought the guy bagging my groceries was so cute. By the time I had gotten to my car, I had fantasized an entire relationship with him. At that moment, I realized I would never be attracted to women.

I also began to understand that celibacy, which I had promoted to myself and countless others as the noble solution, would be ineffective.

At the same time, cracks were forming in my family’s faith.

Little did I know, my dad was terrified for me. He sought counsel from the church. He started reading, questioning, and trying to understand what the Bible actually taught about homosexuality instead of what he had been told.

I remember the relief when the two of us were sitting in our old house, reading scripture, and arriving at the same conclusion: The condemnation we had built our lives around was not as clear, or as holy, as we had been taught. The Bible didn’t condemn homosexuality like the church said it did.

“I’m so sorry,” he told me. He took full accountability. To this day, he has been the number-one advocate for my health and healing. He is my best friend.

For years, I lived in terror that I would destroy my family’s reputation. But in the end, the church revealed itself.

In a meeting to discuss an ongoing issue with a struggling member, my parents attempted to show them forgiveness, but the church said they were too close to see clearly. Suddenly, my folks saw the hypocrisy, the cruelty, and the way power was protected and dissent was punished.

They stepped down from leadership, and over time, the church excommunicated our family, and members were told not to speak to us.

But it didn’t matter. The spell had broken and we felt free.

Shortly after, I stopped making content for Strength in Weakness.

As the distance between me and conversion therapy widened, I could finally breathe.

Leaving did not feel triumphant. It felt like standing in the ruins of my life. But I had one crucial thing before me: a future that belonged to me.

Reflection on the Supreme Court decision

Now, I am working hard to undo the trauma I endured. I am in intensive therapy. I still live with chronic anxiety and chronic pain. And I’m still figuring out how to be myself.

What makes the Supreme Court decision so painful is that I know exactly what kind of world it protects and what kind of pain it inflicts on LGBTQ+ kids.

People call it free speech. But it is abuse.

Words taught me to hate myself. Words made me suicidal.

So when I learned that the Supreme Court ruled that this kind of messaging should be protected, that adults should be free to tell children that queerness is sickness, dangerous, shameful, or sinful, I do not hear an abstract constitutional principle. I hear the beginning of a tragedy for kids like me.

And what hurts most is that I know the opposite is possible.

I’m 31 and managing a local cafe here in Denver. I have a queer community around me that is generous, visible, funny, messy, loving, and alive. I look around and see LGBTQ+ people building ordinary, beautiful lives. I get to belong to something that once would have been described to me as a death sentence.

There is nothing dangerous about this community. What was dangerous was the lie I was told about it. Ignorance made my world small. Education and compassion made life livable. And love gave me back a future.

That is why the SCOTUS decision feels so devastating. While LGBTQ+ people are some of the most resilient folks I know, I’m also acutely aware of how strong a child has to be to survive after being told, over and over, that who they are is unlovable.

Uncloseted Media reached out to Sami’s dad. In an email, he wrote that his past comments are “rough to read.”

“I don’t remember saying the specific words, but I completely trust Sami, and trust that the words would be painfully and accurately remembered,” he wrote.

He added that it was shame and fear that drove his remarks and that it’s “hard to describe the gratitude” he has for Sami’s willingness to forgive him.

“Sami has allowed for our relationship to continue to heal, grow, blossom, and flourish. I told Sami on the phone yesterday that I’m the president of their fan club.”

Sam Donndelinger assisted in the writing of this article.

The post I Live in Colorado. Conversion Therapy Destroyed My Life appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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What Gottman’s Early Parenting Research Can Teach Us About Parenting Adult Children People ask me all the time if parenting gets easier. I usually tell them the truth: no, it […]

The post It Doesn’t Get Easier. It Gets Different. appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

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\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Living, with, Woman, Part, When, Should, You, Move, with, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/living-woman-part-1-when-should-you-move-her", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-08 05:12:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "174124", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Using Compliance to Save a Dying Approach or Date", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-using-compliance-to-save-a-dying-approach-or-date", "title_hash": "8657b512a2cdd0d4c9609c386e8a3285", "summary": "When a girl you’re with starts to pull away, what do you do? Tease? Talk? Touch? None of that; instead, you need to get her to COMPLY.\nYou’ve approached a girl, or maybe you’re on a date.\nIt was going well at first. But now it’s just dying.\nIf you can’t do something to turn it around quick, this girl is going to go.\nYou need something to save the day. What should you do?\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"compliance$ When a girl you’re with starts to pull away, what do you do? Tease? Talk? Touch? None of that; instead, you need to get her to COMPLY.

You’ve approached a girl, or maybe you’re on a date.

It was going well at first. But now it’s just dying.

If you can’t do something to turn it around quick, this girl is going to go.

You need something to save the day. What should you do?

\n\n\n

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He was trying to send money to his dad and realized he didn’t have enough on his mobile wallet. He called out, “Babe, do you have money on your phone? I need like GHC1,000 ASAP.”

I showed him where I had placed my phone, and he went for it. He called out again, “Your PIN.” I screamed back, “The day and month we went on our first-ever date.”

My husband is so bad when it comes to keeping passwords in his head. That wasn’t the first time he had asked for my PIN, but each time I tell him, he forgets. I figured making it one of the anniversaries of our lives would make him remember. He asked, “What kind of mid-sem exams is that? Are you going to tell me or not?”

“It was a Saturday. It rained so heavily the date nearly didn’t happen, remember? When you sat down, you asked what today’s date was. When I told you, you said it was your aunt’s birthday and you forgot to wish her.”

He chuckled and restarted the whole process again. He didn’t ask for it this time. He sent the money and threw my phone at me.

Many weeks later, I was at the ATM holding his card in my hand. I texted him to send me the code because I’d forgotten. He said, “Oh, so you can also forget? The day and month of our first sex.”

Unlike him, I hardly forget dates, especially milestones. That day was very easy for me to remember because it was our honeymoon. We weren’t intimate while dating. We kept it until marriage. I could write a play of how everything happened that day, so how could I forget the date it happened?

I confidently inserted the card and punched in the numbers. The machine said it was the wrong PIN. I did it again, this time carefully and very focused. Again, it was wrong. I only had one attempt left before the machine would swallow the card. I texted him; he wasn’t online. I called, “Why are you lying? Or have you forgotten your own password again?”

He replied, “1.2.0.4. It was the first day you visited my house. Short white skirt with a black tight T-shirt. We’d promised not to do it until marriage, but I didn’t promise you I wouldn’t do it in my imagination. So yes, that was the first time for me. I wonder why you didn’t get pregnant.”

I was withdrawing the money and laughing like I’d lost my mind. I remember that day very clearly. I was scared something might happen, so I hesitated before visiting. I struggled to sit in a way that pleased the Lord because my skirt was so short. I could see hunger in his eyes when our eyes met, but he played it cool. From there, I could let myself go and be comfortable around him.

So now whenever I’m forming a password, I think about the dates of our lives. When the computer reminds me that my password isn’t strong, I say in my head, “It’s stronger in our lives because of how far we’ve come.” When it asks me to add more characters, I still choose characters that bring back memories.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Our lives are a series of dates. We met in time and moments, and these moments refined us. Even when they threatened to break us apart, they ended up molding us into who we’ve become now. Love, kisses, tears, childbirth, death—it all happens on dates, and they make us who we are.

—Nora

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We have three children: the first a boy, the second a girl, and the third another boy. They look carefully planned if you consider the age difference between them. It’s three years between all of them. The first child was very difficult to come by. We were married for four years before he came along. We visited hospitals, talked to doctors of all forms and specialties until one day he came along.

We named him Israel because we wrestled with God and fate before he came along. He’s my wife’s favorite, and I could understand why. He was the one who was at the tip of her breast the longest. He spent longer days in our bedroom even when his own room was fully furnished to receive him. When it came to the school he had to attend, my wife selected the fancy school for him.

What you suffer to gain, you suffer to protect, so my wife did everything within her power to seek the best protection for him. The next two children who came along felt normal. They were not special. Their births weren’t met with any fanfare. Don’t get me wrong, we were equally happy to have them, but they came when all had been said and done.

It got to a point when I felt my wife was doing too much for him at the detriment of the others, so I raised a concern. She called me a liar. According to her, I was the one seeing what wasn’t there. I gave her instances where she showed favoritism—where she gave him more food and attention than the others. I said, “They are kids, but they are not blind. They see what you’re doing, and you better stop it.”

One dawn, it was raining and thunder started roaring. It was loud and very consistent. Sometimes it hit right over our roof. None of the kids woke up, but Israel did. He ran to our room, telling us he was scared of the thunder. My wife bundled him up and gave him a place to sleep between us, all the while telling him not to be scared.

From that day on, anything that looked like rain would push this boy into our room, and my wife would give him space to sleep. He was gradually using our bedroom as his own when one day he entered, and I shouted at him to go back to his room. My wife woke up from her sleep to see him standing there. I kept shouting, “Go back to your room before I pick a belt.”

He was still standing there. My wife said, “Why are you shouting at a child who’s already scared? Come here, Israel. Come and sleep.”

I got up, held him by the arms, and pulled him to his room and placed him on his bed. “Look at your siblings,” I said, pointing at them. “Are they not sleeping peacefully? Why can’t you do the same? If you step into our room ever again, I will beat you.”

My wife got offended. She said I was maltreating him when he was only being a child who was scared of the rain. She left our bedroom and went to share a bed with Israel. That wasn’t the first or the last time. Each time it rained, because he couldn’t come to our room, my wife would get up and go to their room and spend the night with them.

This preferential treatment went on for so long it caused a separation between the children. Israel didn’t come to me when he had a problem. He would go to his mom even when I was the one who could solve his problem. The rest of the kids came to me naturally. Israel one day asked his mom why I hated him.

I heard and gave him the answer he was looking for. “I don’t hate you. You’re the first child, and you ought to behave like one instead of running to your mom at every little chance. If you don’t stop acting like a spoilt child, you’ll think I hate you.” His mom added, “Don’t worry, I’m always here for you.”

The school of the children did a carols service before they vacated for Christmas. All three kids were playing roles in their class, so when they came home, we took them through what they were supposed to do and how to memorize their Bible verses. On the day of the event, I couldn’t go. My wife went.

When they came back, I asked her how they did, and she said, “Oh, they did marvelously well…” And then she focused on what Israel did, saying nothing about what the others did. She showed me the videos she took. She didn’t capture a single moment of the two other kids. Every video was about Israel. I asked her, “The others didn’t perform? Where is the video of their performance?”

She twisted my question and concluded that because I didn’t like Israel, I was eager to see the others instead of him. “This is the reason I focus on Israel, because you like the rest and hate him. How can you have three children and choose to love only one?”

This issue escalated into a huge fight that defined our marriage and everything that came with it. Even deep into the night, my wife was still ranting, accusing me of what didn’t exist and shouting at me to change my perception toward the boy and love him equally. It didn’t make sense how she fought back to make a small issue turn into a furnace. All night, I kept asking myself, “Yes, we struggled to have him, but he’s ten years old now. Isn’t that enough time to relax about him?”

Before I was able to nap a little that night, I had concluded there was more to Israel than met the eye. “Maybe my wife got him from a special place, that’s why. Or he’s not mine. Look at the kids, he’s quite different physically—stout when the others are all slim. No, I have to find out.”

So I secretly carried out a DNA test. When the results came and I was called, I didn’t go for it immediately. By that time, our marriage was good, and we were laughing again, so I had rested my mind from the thoughts I was having when I did the test. But the facility didn’t stop calling me. They said they could deliver it to me if I was busy.

One day after work, I passed through and got it. I opened it right there, and it said the probability of paternity was zero. I asked the guy there to explain it to me. “Zero means I’m the real dad, right?” He gave a wry smile. I understood it even before he spoke.

I was shaking while walking home. I took my wife out of the house so the children wouldn’t know what was happening. I showed her the results, and her face changed immediately. “Does it mean he’s not our child?” she asked, pretending to be dumb about what was happening. I asked, “Where did you get him from? I knew it from the way you treated him. Who is the father? Say it before I start spreading the news.”

All she did was cry and accuse me of showing fake results. She did her own test too, and we did tests for all the kids. The other two were mine—Israel wasn’t.

While I was breaking apart and everything around me was a blur, I knew I was walking out of the marriage, but I wanted to know who was responsible first. She couldn’t say it, and to date, she hasn’t been able to pinpoint Israel’s father because the men involved were many.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I got the divorce I was looking for and rented a new place close to my parents’ house so my mom could help me raise the two kids who were mine. This didn’t happen yesterday but writing about it now makes the wounds feel raw, like I had the cut yesterday. We were frustrated, but nothing gave her the license to cheat and have a child. She’s the one carrying all the shame now, so she has left town to a place where no one knows her story.

—Eric

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******

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My wife is only thirty-three years old, and she’s already giving the vibe of a woman going through menopause. I know a woman going through menopause because I experienced my mom. It was terrible.

We got married five years ago, and we have two children. The last one is almost two years old. My wife talks non-stop. As I write this, she’s walking around insulting the cat because it didn’t eat its food last night. She talks about everything, and she does it angrily.

She wasn’t like that when we started. She wasn’t a calm person, but this new level of talking is beyond what we bargained for. If I signal her to tone it down, it gets worse. “What do you mean I should tone it down? I have to leave this house before you all turn me into a mad person.”

She forgets easily. Sometimes I think she forgets her own name because you would call her a thousand times before she realizes she’s the one you’re calling. We fought three days ago because she said I didn’t leave housekeeping money before I left for work. I did. She went to the market with it and came back with foodstuffs. She said she didn’t go to the market. Even when I was showing her what she bought, she said calmly, “James, are you telling me I’m losing my mind? How can I go to the market and not know it?”

She started talking, and she did until we went to bed. The only time she doesn’t talk is when she’s sleeping. She wakes up, and the whole world would know.

She also has anger issues. Terrible ones. I would breathe, and she would get angry that I’m breathing too much. “Can’t you hold your breath for even a minute?”

She cooked rice when I wanted something else. She complained I don’t eat her food because I might be having a girlfriend outside the house. I forced myself to eat the rice and left a little in the bowl. “Who should eat what you’ve left in the bowl?”

She came to the hall with the bowl, opened my mouth, and pushed the food into it. She said, “A glutton like you, but you want to behave like you don’t like food.”

I laughed so hard the food spilled out. Another anger episode that lasted all night. I did the cleaning, but she came back to do it again because, according to her, I hadn’t done anything right in my life.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

She’s only thirty-three, and she’s getting me scared. She didn’t use to be like this. She screams at the kids, and they shiver. She would later calm them and say, “Mom is sorry.” There’s a lot going on in this house that didn’t happen a few months ago. What can I do to help her, because this is clearly beyond me.

—Eric

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I made my mother-in-law my priority since I got married last year. From the day I stepped into that home as a daughter-in-law, I decided to be a good one.

I did not come into that house carrying baggage. I had heard the stories, seen the drama, watched how these mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships could sour. But I refused to let any of that poison what I was building. I came in with a clear heart and an open spirit, and I meant it.

My husband and I got married last May. He came home for the wedding, and then he left — back to his base abroad. And just like that, I was alone. Here, holding everything together by myself, in a home that was still new to me, in a family I was still finding my footing in. That loneliness, if I am honest, is part of what made me reach out to her so much. I needed family. I needed to feel like I belonged in this family.

So, I showed up. Whenever my mother-in-law called, I picked up at the first ring. When I sensed things were tough for her, I sent money. On Mother’s Day, I showed up with gifts, blessings, and prayers. I always went out of my way for her. I wanted her to feel seen, respected, valued.

Along the way, something was growing between us—maybe a mother-daughter bond, or at least a warm relationship. I was content. We had a family event, a baby outdooring. I traveled to attend, and they booked a hotel for me. While there, I came down with severe diarrhea. Alone and sick in that room, I was so weak I could barely manage the few steps to the washroom. No one brought me food or medicine. When I returned home to Kumasi, not one person called to check on me.

There is a particular sadness when you are sick and no one shows up. I felt that. Yet I gave them the benefit of the doubt. So I called her myself. Immediately, she got on the call “I will call you back when I get home.” She never called back.

Later, I started to hear rumors about the relationship between the two of us. Things I had no idea about, I heard. Things I hadn’t done, I did. It was utterly shocking because all I have done is love her. Telling a lie about me when it is not true irks me. I stood there thinking, is this real? Is this the same woman I sent money

In October, my world fell apart. My mother died. If you have lost your mother, you know there are no words. It is a pain that sits in your chest and does not move. I called my mother-in-law with shaking hands. I don’t know what I was looking for. Maybe just a kind voice. Instead, she yellled, “Why are you calling me to tell me your mother died? Did I kill your mother, huh? Please, let me be.” I did not know what to say. I just sat there with the phone against my ear and felt something inside me go very, very quiet. And then the tears came.

I told my husband what his mother said to me. He said to me “Pretend nothing happened.” When she showed up at the funeral, but they practically had to beg her to follow the Adesiedie traditions. Honestly, I was so consumed by my grief that it did not even matter to me anymore.

I have been sitting with this for months, turning it over, trying to be fair. Trying to find where she meant well. Where I misread it. But I keep coming back to the same truth — I was grieving my mother, and she could not find one kind word for me. Not one.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

My sister-in-law is sick, and I have not been able to visit her because of all of this. When I called to let her know I was coming, she called me back and told me not to come. She said, “My mother has been behaving strangely ever since I told her, so it is better you don’t come.”

My husbands says he supports me. But support is not just a word you say. I am not feeling it. I am not seeing it. And I am starting to wonder what exactly he is protecting; me or his mother.

To top it all off, I have been having strange dreams lately. I am scared. Not just of her. Of all of it. I came into this marriage with a willing heart. I did not sign up for this kind of trouble. I do not have the strength for it.

—Lizzy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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We got married just last week after dating for a year. I didn’t force my husband to marry me. He was the one who proposed marriage after six months of dating because, according to him, he had come of age and wanted to check marriage off his list.

We went through a traditional marriage and successfully went through the white wedding. He wasn’t the only one who paid the bills for the wedding. I did my best as a wife to help him where he needed help.

On our honeymoon, he told me, “I took a loan for the wedding. Don’t worry, it’s a safe loan, but what it means is that you’ll have to take up the financial role for a while.”

I was surprised because our wedding wasn’t elaborate. It’s something you wouldn’t call big. We didn’t even have a reception. We shared snacks and drinks right in the church. And I contributed too, so what loan was he talking about? When I asked, he said he took GHC20,000 to support his savings to be able to do the wedding.

I swear the wedding we did couldn’t cost GHC20,000 from him. I contributed a lot, so what did he do with that amount?

I’ve been angry since the honeymoon. It’s not about the loan alone but the fact that he told me on a day we should be happy and also the fact that he hid it from me. I told him I wasn’t going to take up any financial role because I didn’t know anything about the loan, and also I wasn’t sure he spent it on our wedding.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

We are only one week into this marital journey, and we are already fighting. We haven’t talked for days except through questions and answers. I’m so angry I want to leave this house and go where there is no loan hanging over my head. I’m asking, will it be too harsh if I decide not to contribute a penny into this house since I have nothing to do with the loan?

—Elsie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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GOP leadership investigates mifepristone drug makers

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The GOP is upping its attacks on medication abortion. Last week, five Republican senators, including Senate Health Committee Chair Bill Cassidy, sent demand letters to the three manufacturers of the abortion drug mifepristone, seeking information about the companies’ compliance with FDA oversight and adverse event reporting rules. The letters are the latest escalation by anti-choice lawmakers and advocates as the Trump administration reportedly slow-rolls efforts to limit access to abortion drugs.

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Idaho passes anti-trans bathroom ban

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Idaho Gov. Brad Little signed a law Tuesday that bans trans people from using the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity. The law applies to government buildings and places of “public accommodation,” including private businesses, and makes the first offense a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in jail. A second offense could result in a felony and up to five years of incarceration. Idaho is the fourth state to criminalize trans bathroom use.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

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Kansas lawmakers bar oversight of anti-choice pregnancy centers

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Kansas’ GOP-majority legislature overrided Gov. Laura Kelly’s veto this week to enact an anti-abortion law exempting “crisis pregnancy centers” from regulations about the childbirth, pregnancy, and parenting resources they can provide. In 2022, Kansas voters rejected a proposed constitutional amendment that would have paved the way for an abortion ban. Kelly said she vetoed the bill because Kansans don’t want the government in “women’s private medical decisions.”

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The post Republicans Probe Abortion Pill Manufacturers appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Republicans, Probe, Abortion, Pill, Manufacturers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "33", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/ReproRoundup_04.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/03/republicans-probe-abortion-pill-manufacturers/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-06 07:24:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172926", "lang_id": "1", "title": "High-End Club Game WITHOUT Bottle Service: How to Win with Social Value (Not Money)", "title_slug": "high-end-club-game-without-bottle-service-how-to-win-with-social-value-not-money", "title_hash": "1601cbf4526a29f09ac53ff20bf3b6a8", "summary": "Skip the bottle service trap. Learn high-end club game without bottle service by using social value, killer style, and social proof instead of cash.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"high-end$ Skip the bottle service trap. Learn high-end club game without bottle service by using social value, killer style, and social proof instead of cash.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

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", "keywords": "High-End, Club, Game, WITHOUT, Bottle, Service:, How, Win, with, Social, Value, Not, Money", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/high-end-club-game-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/high-end-club-game-without-bottle-service-how-win-social-value-not-money", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-06 06:53:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172925", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everything You Need to Know About Premature Ejaculation", "title_slug": "everything-you-need-to-know-about-premature-ejaculation", "title_hash": "6c0fac1abc14cf1e495c32ad8093c6b0", "summary": "You’re about to finally seal the deal with a new partner. Things are going beyond great — you two are totally feeling each other, and you can’t wait to get home to your place and finish what the two of you started at the bar. \r\nBut as soon as things get going, you realize that it’s all happening too fast — and you can’t stop yourself from finishing early. \r\n“I swear, this usually never happens,” you say, an apologetic look on your face. Not the end to the evening you were hoping for, right?\r\nRELATED: How to Cure Premature Ejaculation\r\nIt can feel embarrassing, but it’s far from uncommon. In fact, according to a 2016 study, premature ejaculation affects 20% to 30% of the U.S. population. \r\nIn the short term, PE can mean a disappointing night. But the longer the problem persists, the more likely it is to have a negative impact on your sex life, potentially affecting your romantic relationship(s), impact your self-esteem and cause long-term stress.\r\nHowever, PE is not a curse. It’s a prob", "content": "You’re about to finally seal the deal with a new partner. Things are going beyond great — you two are totally feeling each other, and you can’t wait to get home to your place and finish what the two of you started at the bar. \r\nBut as soon as things get going, you realize that it’s all happening too fast — and you can’t stop yourself from finishing early. \r\n“I swear, this usually never happens,” you say, an apologetic look on your face. Not the end to the evening you were hoping for, right?\r\nRELATED: How to Cure Premature Ejaculation\r\nIt can feel embarrassing, but it’s far from uncommon. In fact, according to a 2016 study, premature ejaculation affects 20% to 30% of the U.S. population. \r\nIn the short term, PE can mean a disappointing night. But the longer the problem persists, the more likely it is to have a negative impact on your sex life, potentially affecting your romantic relationship(s), impact your self-esteem and cause long-term stress.\r\nHowever, PE is not a curse. It’s a problem to which there are numerous solutions. The key to getting a handle on premature ejaculation is to understand what it is, what causes it and what can be done in order to prevent it from happening. So, with that in mind, here’s a guide to everything you need to know about premature ejaculation.\r\n\r\n\r\nContents\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\t1 What Is Premature Ejaculation?\r\n\t2 Why Does P.E. Happen?\r\n\t3 What Does It Mean About Your Masculinity?\r\n\t4 Techniques to Prevent Premature Ejaculation\r\n5 Products to Prevent P.E.\r\n\t6 Sex Positions to Prevent P.E.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n1. What Is Premature Ejaculation?\r\n\r\nMedically speaking, premature ejaculation is determined by two things — the lack of control you have over when you ejaculate, and whether or not you and your partner(s) are satisfied with the duration that the penetrative sex lasts for.\r\nAccording to urologist Dr. Peter Stahl, there are different varieties of this condition. \r\n“Premature ejaculation comes in two variants: lifelong and acquired, which have slightly different definitions,” he explains. “Lifelong premature ejaculation is generally defined as ejaculation that almost always occurs within one minute, is difficult or impossible to delay, and is associated with distress or bother.”\r\nLifelong premature ejaculation, on the other hand, Dr. Stahl says, “is a true neurobiological predisposition to ejaculate early.”\r\nAs far as the amount of time that qualifies as ejaculation being premature, sexual psychophysiologist Dr. Nicole Prause says that there isn’t a medically accepted amount of time that dictates this disorder. \r\n“There is no standard number of intromissions (intravaginal strokes) or latency (time to ejaculation) that is recognized as [premature],” she explains. “This definition is usually left to the male reporting distress. Of course, this is very problematic. A series of laboratory studies actually found most men who believe they have [premature ejaculation] actually did not orgasm more quickly to vibratory stimulation than men who did not believe that they had a problem in laboratory studies.” \r\nIn short, to a non-trivial degree, P.E. may be a question of perception rather than bodily or psychological issues. \r\nRELATED: Enhance Your Orgasm With These Simple Tips\r\nThere’s also no medical test for premature ejaculation currently available. But if both you and your partner(s) are unsatisfied with the amount of time that you’re lasting, this means that it’s a problem for all parties involved — so you’ll want to take the necessary steps to address it.\r\n\r\nWhat Real Women Say: “I dated a guy once who wouldn’t sleep with me for several months,” says Casey, 26. “While I usually don’t rush into things sexually with new partners, I did think that the behavior was strange — to the point that I questioned where things were going, and whether or not he was actually interested in me. When we finally did sleep together it became extremely clear that the reason why he wasn’t rushing to do the deed was that he finished very quickly. We did it again a few more times and the same thing kept happening — although I did find that the more we drank beforehand the longer he lasted, though it still wasn’t ever anywhere beyond a few minutes long. In retrospect, I should have said something — I would’ve been willing to try things that would have maybe helped. But instead we started to see less and less of each other until things ended.”\r\n\r\n2. Why Does P.E. Happen?\r\n\r\nAs Dr. Stahl explained, there are two different types of premature ejaculation.\r\nOne is caused by a neurobiological predisposition to ejaculate early. If you have this type of premature ejaculation, it’s likely something that you’ve experienced since you first became sexually active. But as for acquired premature ejaculation, there are plenty of factors that can cause this. \r\n“Acquired premature ejaculation, in contrast, can be caused by relationship anxiety, intensity of arousal, and other sexual dysfunction,” Dr. Stahl says. “Erectile dysfunction is actually commonly associated with acquired premature ejaculation, and treatment of the erection problem often cures the ejaculatory problem.”\r\nAnother factor that can cause premature ejaculation is when the body’s sympathetic response (our body’s “fight or flight\" reaction) is triggered during sex. \r\n“Sexual contact makes most everyone have some sympathetic arousal,” explains sex therapist Michael J. Salas. “However, for some, this can happen even more rapidly, with more intensity. With so much intensity, the body does what it needs to do to deactivate some of this arousal.”\r\n“It can come from a variety of sources,” Salas explains. “Sometimes the person has some hangups about sex. Sometimes it’s simply the type of touch that was offered. And it can even be below the surface issues and insecurities that the person isn’t even aware of.”\r\nRELATED: The Science Behind How Erections Work\r\nPremature ejaculation can also happen due to complications with feeling the physical signals that you’re going to ejaculate. \r\n“Some men who have premature ejaculation have difficulties with the sensations that tell most men that they may reach a point of sexual ‘no return,’” Salas explains. “Meaning that they have to ejaculate if they cross this point.”\r\n“Prevalence is slightly higher at younger age, but [premature ejaculation] tends to be pretty stable across age,” says Dr. Prause. “Most remarkably, men with [premature ejaculation] consistently report more problems with anxiety in general, including with their bedroom ‘performance.’ \r\nRELATED: Overcoming Performance Anxiety\r\n“Hyperthyroidism and some medications can contribute,” she adds. “With respect to partner factors, men with [premature ejaculation] are more likely to feel less informed about female sexuality and have a more sexually experienced female partner.”\r\nAccording to tantra instructor Helena Nista, personal masturbation habits also come into play with premature ejaculation. \r\n“Many men first learn to self-pleasure when they’re teenagers and they form a habit of touching themselves in a very quick, efficient way in order to avoid getting caught,” she says. “As they continue masturbating exactly the same way for many years, their nervous system becomes wired in a way that leads to a quick release, and they lose control over their arousal.”\r\nThe type of porn you watch — and the frequency at which you watch it — may also be contributing to the problem. \r\n“Porn is a great source of sexual stimulation and can lead to high levels of arousal,” says Nista. “When overstimulated, men become highly excited very quickly, leading them to a premature climax. When this process is repeated often, the body adopts it and performs the same way each time — whether the man wants to release quickly or not.”\r\n\r\n\r\nWhat Real Men Say: “I used to literally go for hours,” says James, 32. “Since I got Type 1 late-onset childhood diabetes it’s been, well, quite the opposite. I’ve tried Fluoxetine/Prozac in high doses, but to no avail. Cialis didn’t address the issue either. It’s really put a damper on my sex life. Especially when I’m used to it being a good one. I might try some lidocaine gel but then it would be only for my girlfriend — probably nothing but exercise followed by a poor excuse for an orgasm for me. I also may try another prescription.”\r\n\r\n3. What Does It Mean About Your Masculinity?\r\n\r\nYou know what it is and what causes it — but regardless of the facts, the social stigma that premature ejaculation somehow means you’re less of a man is still something that those who struggle with this problem have to deal with.\r\nWhat Real Men Say: “Premature ejaculation is definitely a rough thing to deal with, and while it shouldn’t really feel this way, it does have an affect on how masculine you feel,” says Sam, 29. “It makes you feel really terrible, because you think that a man should be able to last long enough to give adequate pleasure to the person he’s having sex with. It’s borderline impossible to feel ultra-manly if you’ve just gotten off way too quickly.”\r\nBut clinically speaking, premature ejaculation doesn’t mean that you’re any less masculine. \r\n“Premature ejaculation says nothing about masculinity at all,” says Salas. “Although, many men are shamed for it, and ashamed of it. In working with this, it’s important to help people understand that sex is a broad array of connections that is more than just intercourse. While working on premature ejaculation, people can still enjoy their sexual experiences.”\r\nRELATED: Penis Myths That Men Need to Stop Believing \r\nNista says that the amount of pressure that both society and men put on themselves can be very problematic for those suffering from premature ejaculation. \r\n“I have worked with men who have come to me in a state of depression, self-conscious and unable to approach women out of fear or embarrassment,” says Nista. “That fear is very telling about how we perceive masculinity and the pressure we put on men to perform in bed. We expect men to be great lovers and to satisfy their partners, however, society gives them no tools or education to create mind-blowing, long-lasting sex in the bedroom. Some men give up on relationships, unable to deal with shame and embarrassment.”\r\nExperiencing premature ejaculation delivers a blow to one’s self-esteem — and can have long term effects. \r\n“Men want to be known for their prowess,” says holistic practitioner Sheri Brown. “When a man feels he cannot perform or satisfy sexually they feel like a failure. This wreaks havoc with a man’s self confidence. Men start avoiding sex, feeling depressed and have anxiety when they think about sex. This can create a mental anxiety that lasts longer than the original cause of the symptoms.”\r\n\r\nWhat Real Women Say: “When we first met, my now husband was dealing with premature ejaculation,” says Krista, 31. “We worked in the same office building, and after the first night we had sex he didn’t speak to me for days afterward. I finally cornered him in the parking lot (which he still jokes about) being like what the hell? We had a straight up conversation about it, and he admitted that he hadn’t seen a doctor about it. It turns out it was actually a simple fix — switching the medication that he was on.”\r\n\r\n4. Techniques to Prevent Premature Ejaculation\r\n\r\nIf you’re experiencing premature ejaculation, your first move should be to pay a visit to your doctor in order to rule out any health issues that may be causing the problem. Once you’ve made sure there are no health-related complications, the next step would be to explore a few methods and techniques in order to prevent it.\r\nThe Squeeze\r\n“The ‘squeeze’ involves learning to identify when you are beginning to approach orgasm, withdrawing and putting pressure at the base of the head of the penis with the thumb on top and fingers underneath,” explains Dr. Prause. “This is not really known to do anything physically directly — rather, it is a strategy for learning to decrease/manage increasing sexual sensations with this distraction.”\r\nThe Stop-Start\r\n“The stop-start technique is the same idea without the squeeze,” says Dr. Prause. “We usually encourage men to start these long before their orgasm is imminent initially, just to get used to doing it and to experience some success in having it work. Then, they can wait later and later in the process to help identify when they need to inhibit their arousal to delay orgasm/ejaculation.”\r\nRELATED: How to Not Cum So Fast \r\n“These treatments to increase men’s control are actually very effective,” she adds. “The stop-start and squeeze techniques both have excellent data for treatment and are safe enough to be tried without oversight by a clinician initially. As with most interventions, it requires collaboration with the partner — understanding, agreeing to systematically stopping intercourse when he feels close, etc., and consistent practice.”\r\nTantric Practices\r\nAs far as holistic techniques go, Nista recommends tantric practices. \r\n“Men who apply tantric practices develop mastery over their erections and arousal, stay deeply mindful of their bodies and enjoy pleasure beyond anything that they’ve experienced before,” she says. “At the most basic level, these practices involve a conscious use of relaxation, breath and presence.”\r\nTaking time to consciously relax yourself is important in tantric practices, and can also help with premature ejaculation. \r\n“When we’re relaxed, our sexual energy and arousal can flow freely through the entire body instead of remaining stuck in the genital area,” Nista explains. “Men learn early to tense up the muscles in their bodies as they become aroused, and that tension is exactly what triggers the ejaculatory response.”\r\n“When the arousal is stuck in the genitals, held there by muscle tension, it cannot move and soon the pressure becomes too much for the body to hold,” she adds. “As the erotic charge is released, we reach an orgasmic climax and lose all arousal and sexual energy.”\r\nBreathing Techniques\r\nBreathing techniques can also be beneficial. \r\n“Men often constrict or hold their breath as they become aroused, which is another way to keep the erotic energy localized in the pelvis,” says Nista. “This is why tantric men use deep, abdominal breathing to pull their sexual charge out of their genitals and up through their entire bodies. As the arousal is carried by the breath through the entire system, it’s much easier to last longer, as the body doesn’t struggle to keep a significant amount of pressure in one spot.”\r\nMindfulness\r\nBeing mindful and in the moment can also help get premature ejaculation under control. \r\nRELATED: Mindfulness During Sex Means More Orgasms \r\n“Most men ejaculate early because they’re not aware of how aroused they are,” says Nista. “With our minds constantly racing, it’s challenging to remain mindful and aware of the sensations in the body. But when a man is deeply conscious and connected to his body, he will properly read the signals that his body is sending him and he’ll develop not only a better degree of control in bed, but also a deeper sensitivity and an ability to feel much more pleasure.”\r\n\r\nWhile these practices take time to master, Nista says putting in the work will be well worth it. \r\n“Working with relaxation, breath and presence in a consistent way during masturbation and partner sex will rewire the nervous system and teach the body to remain in the state of arousal for much longer,” she says. “This will create a beautiful, effortless experience of lovemaking, full of not only control and pleasure but also connection and deep intimacy. Tantra provides a wonderful alternative to quick, frustrating sexual encounters.”\r\n\r\n5. Products That Help Prevent P.E.\r\n\r\nAs with any sexual issue people experience, a number of products have cropped up to help guys deal with premature ejaculation, including numbing gels, creams and sprays, as well as some slightly outside-the-box options. \r\nRELATED: Best Products to Help Delay Your Orgasm\r\nWhile topical products do come with pros and cons, Dr. Stahl says they can be an effective method to use in preventing premature ejaculation. \r\n“Topical therapies are effective,” he says. “These products are anesthetic sprays or creams that are applied to the penis to reduce penile sensation. This is an effective therapy that is easy and safe.”\r\nThe potential downside, he notes, is that some of the topical solution may transfer from your penis to your partner’s orifice(s), which could result in numbness for them. \r\nWith that in mind, these options may be worth a look:\r\nPromescent Delay Spray\r\n\r\nPromescent’s Delay Spray has won an AskMen Dating Award for being a top product for dealing with P.E. for a reason, because it’s engineered to absorb quickly into your penis, meaning it’s less likely to rub off on the other person. $22.95 at Promescent.com\r\nRoman Swipes\r\n\r\nNot crazy about carrying a bottle around on dates? Take your P.E. control to go with a packet of Roman Swipes, which are lidocaine wipes that are discreet and easy to carry thanks to their condom package-like size and shape.From $22.00 at Ro.co\r\nSvakom Tyler\r\n\r\n\r\nWhat Real Men Say: “I’ve had some success with using cock rings to help me last longer,” says Dave, 24. “Oddly enough, the vibrating one that my girlfriend really likes to use has been the one that’s been most effective. You’d think the opposite, with the extra stimulation — but the buzzing is actually distracting in a good way, and has kept me from blowing it too soon a few times so far.”\r\n$110.00 at Svakom.com\r\n\r\n6. Sex Positions to Help Prevent P.E.\r\n\r\nChoosing the right sex position strategically can also help with premature ejaculation, as positions can impact the physical and psychological sensations we're experiencing during intercourse. That could mean the difference between a position that speeds up your climax and one that delays it. So which ones would work in your favor if you're trying to address your P.E.?\r\nYab Yum\r\n\r\nAccording to Brown, the Yab Yum position practiced in Tantra is one that’s well suited for this. \r\n“Yab Yum is where the male is sitting [criss-crossed], with the female partner facing the male sitting on top of him. Her legs are wrapped around his waist, giving both partners control of sensations.” \r\nBecause of the seated aspect, it can be tricky to achieve a steady thrusting stroke, which can slow down climax. \r\nReverse Cowgirl\r\n\r\nAccording to sex and relationship expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk, receiver-on-top positions are also ideal for men that are dealing with premature ejaculation. Because the receiver is in control, it takes the pressure of leading the effort off the giving partner. \r\nOne position that works particularly well is reverse cowgirl. Though it’s popular in porn for giving the camera a great view, the penetrating partner can’t see much, and the lack of erotic visuals may help delay the process. In reverse cowgirl, the giving partner lies flat on his back, the receiver is on top and facing away from him.\r\nBathtub Sex\r\n\r\n“Water-submerged positions where sensation is altered [also work],” says Dr. Van Kirk. \r\nIf you and your partner haven’t tried having sex in a bathtub yet, it might be time to give it a try to see if this method works for you. \r\nAs far as submerged water sex positions go, the simplest to execute is the “bathtub boogie.” To do this, the man sits in the tub with his legs stretched out (or bent if height is an issue). Facing away from him, the receiving partner straddles his lap. To keep the receiver from slipping too much, the giving partner can hold onto their butt or thighs during the act.\r\nSpoon Position\r\n\r\nAnother position that helps prevent premature ejaculation is the side-by-side, or spoon position. \r\n“This position doesn’t allow for full penetration and can slow response down,” Dr. Van Kirk explains. \r\nTo do this, both partners lay on their side next to each other, and the giving partner enters the receiver from behind — kind of like spooning, but you’re also having sex. Here, as with reverse cowgirl, the visuals aren’t spectacular, which may also aid some people in slowing down their climaxes. \r\nAll illustrations by Carlee Ranger.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHere’s What It’s Like to Prematurely EjaculateCan This Handy Wipe Fix Your P.E. Issues?How Kegel Exercises Can Fix Premature Orgasms", "keywords": "Everything, You, Need, Know, About, Premature, Ejaculation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2018/04/25-103355-everything_you_need_to_know_about_premature_ejaculation.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/premature-ejaculation.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-06 06:53:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172924", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Chest Workouts", "title_slug": "best-chest-workouts", "title_hash": "5f3326d805f88dca55d3d68bf077121b", "summary": "Like it or not, a strong chest is one of the most impressive, eye-catching features of a man's body. It helps you fill out shirts and suits, conveys strength, poise, and solidity, and signals to other people that you take your health and fitness seriously.\r\nAnd despite the existence of other important compound movements like the squat and the deadlift, the most common question you'll get inside the gym is \"how much do you bench?\" and we're not above admitting that training for vanity is a legitimate reason and major source of motivation for many men.\r\nRELATED: Effective Arm Workouts for Men\r\nBut what if you're stalling in your training? What if the numbers on the bar aren't going up, your chest isn't growing, and try as you might, you can't seem to make any progress?\r\nThe following guide is here to help you turn things around, break through plateaus, and build up your chest size and strength. We go through helpful tips and exercise queues to help maximize your muscle contractions, as w", "content": "Like it or not, a strong chest is one of the most impressive, eye-catching features of a man's body. It helps you fill out shirts and suits, conveys strength, poise, and solidity, and signals to other people that you take your health and fitness seriously.\r\nAnd despite the existence of other important compound movements like the squat and the deadlift, the most common question you'll get inside the gym is \"how much do you bench?\" and we're not above admitting that training for vanity is a legitimate reason and major source of motivation for many men.\r\nRELATED: Effective Arm Workouts for Men\r\nBut what if you're stalling in your training? What if the numbers on the bar aren't going up, your chest isn't growing, and try as you might, you can't seem to make any progress?\r\nThe following guide is here to help you turn things around, break through plateaus, and build up your chest size and strength. We go through helpful tips and exercise queues to help maximize your muscle contractions, as well as prevent injury, correct imbalances and build up your strength.\r\n\r\n\r\nContents\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\tHow to Train Your Chest \r\n\tBest Chest Exercises \r\n\t\r\n\t\tBench Press\r\n\t\tCable Fly\r\n\t\tPushups and Pushup Variants\r\n\t\tIncline Dumbbell Press\r\n\t\tFloor Press\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tChest Training Mistakes (and Fixes)\r\n\t\r\n\t\tUsing Too Much Weight \r\n\t\tNeglecting Rest and Recovery\r\n\t\tInconsistent Training Volume\r\n\t\tInjuries, Aches & Pains\r\n\t\tInadequate Diet\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nHow to Train Your Chest – Tips and Queues\r\n\r\nFor the best approach to training your chest, we spoke with Professor Nima Alamdari, Ph.D., the Chief Scientific Officer at Ritual and Honorary Professor of Sport Science at the University of Exeter in the United Kingdom. He is a Harvard-trained physiologist, extensively published in the fields of sports science, nutrition, metabolism, and physiology, so suffice to say he knows a thing or two about effective resistance training.\r\nDr. Alamdari's advice to us boiled down to two main concepts: train with purpose and variety.\r\nVariety: \"Exercises can be oriented to a variety of outcomes, including strength, power, stability, acceleration, change of direction, mobility, flexibility, recovery as well as muscle mass,\" he says.\r\nThe key to maximizing chest development is using these training modalities to your advantage. Vary the rep scheme, the weight, the exercise, the number of sets – even the speed at which you power through the movement.\r\nPurpose: The mind-muscle connection is also a very important concept to master. With the barbell bench press, for example, a lot of people do it with poor form, focusing only on moving the weight from point A to point B, and they neglect the actual purpose of the exercise, which is to maximize chest contraction. The weight is merely a tool to help you grow and strengthen your muscles.\r\nThe solution? Focus on proper form in every exercise and lower the weight as needed so that you can strictly adhere to the right technique.\r\nOne very helpful queue, applicable to most chest exercises, is to keep your scapula retracted throughout the movement. If that sounds like gibberish to you, here's a good queue: envision someone placing a credit card along your spine, high up on your back, and then try to squeeze that card in place using your shoulder blades. Doing so forces your shoulders to retract and pushes your chest forward, which serves to maximize muscle recruitment in the chest while protecting your shoulders.\r\n\r\n\r\nRELATED: Top Tricks to Build Muscle\r\n\r\nBest Chest Exercises\r\n\r\nThere's an endless variety of chest exercises and variants that you can opt to choose from, but some are more essential than others, offering a greater return on your investment. Below, we list the staple exercises as well as a few additional ones that can help shore up your weaknesses.\r\n\r\n1. Bench Press\r\nWhat else would be #1?\r\nIt might have a bad reputation thanks to ego-lifters putting too much weight on the bar or people focusing exclusively on this lift, but that doesn't change the fact that it's arguably the single best upper-body compound movement. It recruits major muscles like the pecs and the shoulders, while also taxing your triceps and lats, and because you can load the most weight onto the bar using the bench press, you'll find this one promotes chest growth better than any other exercise.\r\nTutorial Video:\r\n\r\n\r\n2. Cable Fly\r\nFun fact about the chest: it doesn't just activate when you push a weight away from you, but when you bring your arms across your body. Therefore, to properly train your chest muscles, you need to work them through their full range of motion.\r\nThe cable fly is our choice, as opposed to its banded and dumbbell variants, because you can increase the tension easily and keep that tension consistent through the full range of the movement.\r\nTutorial Video:\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n3. Pushups and Pushup Variants\r\nPushups are about as old school an exercise as exists, and that kind of longevity isn't an accident. They mimic the bench press in their ability to recruit muscle groups, from your chest to your shoulders, triceps, and even core, but because you don't have the bench to stabilize your shoulder girdle, you'll be training this more as well, giving pushups the added benefit of improving shoulder health and mobility.\r\nOnce you master the basic pushup, you can start attempting variants to add difficulty: these include close-grip/diamond pushups, staggered pushups (where your hands are unevenly spaced), and weighted or elevated pushups. The possibilities are endless.\r\nTutorial Video:\r\n\r\n\r\n4. Incline Dumbbell Press\r\nEven seasoned lifters often struggle with developing their upper pecs, which is why pressing in only a single plane of motion is disadvantageous. You can opt for an incline barbell press, but using dumbbells here increases your range of motion, allowing you to bring them to a greater depth than with a barbell.\r\nLower the weight and increase the reps to promote muscle growth, and remember to keep your form strict and your ego in check, since heavy weights and bad form are particularly dangerous with this exercise.\r\nTutorial Video:\r\n\r\n\r\n5. Floor Press\r\nIf you're looking to add serious weight to your bench press totals, you should consider incorporating this popular bench press variant. The setup and technique are identical to the barbell bench press, but instead of resting on a bench, your body will be on the floor. This position limits your range of motion (you won't be able to touch the bar to your chest) but enables you to overload the weight and work through the mid-point of the bench press, which is a major sticking area for many lifters.\r\nTutorial Video:\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nRELATED: Experts Reveal the Most Common Workout Mistakes\r\n\r\nChest Training Mistakes (and Fixes)\r\n\r\nWe asked Dr. Alamdari to describe the five most common errors lifters make when training their chests, and he came up with the following answers:\r\n\r\n1. Using Too Much Weight\r\nUsing too much weight – also known as ego lifting – is perhaps the most common mistake beginner lifters make, and it's purely a consequence of them putting their egos before their intellects. Too much weight leads to bad form, which leads to injuries or impaired muscle development.\r\nYou don't need a huge amount of weight to induce growth, especially in the smaller, isolation movements, so set your ego aside and lift with the heaviest weights that you can control with strict form.\r\n\r\n2. Neglecting Rest & Recovery\r\nTraining is only half the battle, as far as muscle growth is concerned. The actual growth happens when you're rested and recovering. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you making sure to rest adequately between sets or between chest days?\r\nThere really is such a thing as overtraining, and if you're working hard in the gym but neglecting your rest and recovery, you're setting yourself up for the worst kind of failure.\r\n\r\n3. Inconsistent Training Volume\r\nIf you're trying to build muscle, one of the most important variables is total training volume. If your weekly number of sets is all over the map, your body won't adequately adapt to your training regimen, and you won't see the growth you wanted. The solution is simple: track your workouts, including your reps, sets, and weight, and make sure that you're progressing across these dimensions, week after week.\r\n\r\n4. Injuries, Aches, and Pains\r\nOnce you start training at a high volume, with heavy weights, you put yourself at risk of injury, or at the very least regular soreness. Pain is an infallible sign that something is wrong somewhere, and that you need to scale back your weight and focus on perfecting your form, but soreness is an expected consequence of training, and needs to be managed. Stretch, foam roll, get regular massages – do whatever you need to do to keep yourself in the gym.\r\n\r\n5. Inadequate Diet\r\nToo many lifters think the results of their efforts come only from training, when the reality is training is merely a stimulus, and the actual magic happens with proper nutrition. You need to be consuming enough calories not only to maintain your current weight but to build muscle, and your protein intake should be sufficient to help repair damaged muscle tissue and, eventually, build new muscle tissue entirely.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tShould You Start Doing Push-ups Every Day?\r\n\tBest Workout Gear for Men\r\n\tHow Often Should You Work Out Your Arms", "keywords": "Best, Chest, Workouts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-chest-workout-routines/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1749210633.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-chest-workout-routines.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-06 06:53:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172923", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Start Drinking Less Alcohol", "title_slug": "how-to-start-drinking-less-alcohol", "title_hash": "3575a4ed51a248044059f2305ae7209a", "summary": "Giving Dry January a Try? Here Are 11 Ways to Make It Easier to Pull Off", "content": "The “sober curious” movement. Dry January. Mindful drinking apps. It’s clear that there is a growing interest in sober or sober-ish living. This trend can be explained by a few factors, from the impact of the pandemic on wellness habits to the fact there are more nuanced conversations happening about the topic of drinking. \r\nPeople are also more educated about the negative effects of alcohol thanks to social media and podcasts, notes certified health coach D'Yonna Riley, who started her own sober living journey in 2022.\r\n \r\nAll of this is normalizing the idea of not drinking or drinking less — and inspiring more people to redefine their relationship with alcohol. “As it becomes more normal for people to not drink for all sorts of reasons, other people feel more comfortable exploring the idea of not drinking,” says psychotherapist Sarah Chotkowski. \r\nIf you struggle with substance abuse, cutting down on drinking isn’t going to cut it — overcoming addiction requires professional support and abstinence. But if you’re looking to drink less because you want to feel healthier, having a game plan will help you stick to your new habits. \r\nRELATED: Best Non-Alcoholic Spirits & Cocktails\r\nReady to start your journey? Chotkowski and Riley shared 11 simple tips to help you successfully cut down on drinking below.\r\n \r\nDocument How Drinking Affects You\r\nRiley recommends tracking how you feel after drinking. Do you notice more brain fog and anxiety? Perhaps you get headaches or breakouts after a night out. Maybe you cringe when you think of some of your comments the night before. When you get honest with yourself about the impact that drinking has on you, you can make more informed decisions about alcohol’s place in your life. \r\nGet Clear on Your ‘Why’\r\n“A meaningful ‘why’ will help you stay committed to your goal, especially during challenging moments. Some people cut back on alcohol for health, to improve relationships, or to increase their mental clarity, among other reasons,” adds Riley. \r\nRespectfully Ask Others About Sobriety\r\n \r\nIf you need inspiration, Chotkowski says that respectfully asking others about sobriety can be a powerful motivator: “It can be hard to imagine what sobriety could do for you if you’ve never tried it, and if you have largely positive memories associated with drinking.” \r\nChances are, you know someone who is either sober by choice or necessity. Ask them about it. They’ll likely rave about benefits such as better sleep, weight loss, reduced anxiety, improved mood and relationships — and even better erections. \r\nRELATED: How to Tell If You Have a Drinking Problem\r\nSwap Half of Your Drinks\r\n \r\nNow onto more tactical tips. Swapping a non-alcoholic beverage for half of your drinks in a night can make a massive difference. “This way you can still have a drink in your hand and engage in the social activity of drinking with friends, but you’re slowing down the overall volume of alcohol you’re consuming,” according to Chotkowski. \r\nDelay Your First Drink\r\n \r\nYou can also delay your first drink to reduce your overall consumption. “Start with five minutes. When you have the urge to grab a drink, set a timer on your phone for five minutes and wait until the timer goes off before you grab the drink,” adds Chotkowski. Then, increase the time from five minutes to 20 minutes. You may be surprised to realize that your craving has passed and you don’t really want that drink after all. \r\nHave Fun with Mocktails\r\nMocktails are a great way to partake without consuming alcohol. “There's a social aspect of drinking that people often miss when first starting. Experimenting with mocktails can keep social gatherings enjoyable and make you feel included,” says Riley. Plus, sipping on an interesting mocktail can keep your hands busy and have you indulge in the ritual of drinking something cold and fizzy — minus the booze. \r\nSurround Yourself With Supportive People\r\nThe company you keep can also make a difference in your ability to cut down on drinking. “Spend time with friends and family who respect your choice to drink less (or not at all). If possible, find a friend willing to explore sobriety alongside you,” adds Riley. “Those who criticize or pressure you into old habits will make it more challenging to stay committed.” \r\nDownload an App\r\nRiley also recommends trying apps like Quit Drinking, which allow you to track how long you’ve been alcohol-free and how much money you’ve saved while celebrating your sobriety milestones. It’s a great way to stay accountable. \r\nTry New Activities\r\n \r\nAs Chotkowski puts it, if you’re in a bar, you’re probably going to want to drink. Now is the time to try a yoga class, get into hiking or learn how to play an instrument. “The more sober activities you schedule, the fewer opportunities to drink you’re going to have,” says Chotkowski. \r\nGet Booze Out of the House\r\n \r\nChotkowski also recommends getting rid of the alcohol in your house. It’s all about forming and reinforcing new habits. The sight of that bottle of wine or the beer in the fridge is only going to increase your likelihood of drinking. If you stock your fridge with sparkling water instead, you’ll get in the habit of grabbing one of those instead. \r\nDon’t Wait for a Major Milestone\r\n \r\nFinally, don’t wait for a major milestone or moment to start your efforts to drink less. “If you’re sober-curious, you don’t have to wait for ‘Dry January,’ hitting rock bottom, your birthday, or any other major milestone to decide to stop drinking,” adds Chotkowski. “Any random Wednesday afternoon is a good day to change your life, and you can start over any time.”\r\nThe tips above should help you transform your relationship with alcohol. The idea is to implement small, achievable steps that help you cement more mindful drinking habits. Once you start reaping the benefits of drinking less (hello, increased energy levels), you may even consider stopping altogether. And if you find yourself struggling to cut back, it may be worth reaching out to a therapist or counselor for extra support. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\nThe Benefits of Cognitive Behavioral TherapyHealthy Beer DrinkingIs Sex Addiction Real?", "keywords": "How, Start, Drinking, Less, Alcohol", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-to-start-drinking-less-alcohol/askmen-lead-image-template-1715351262.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-to-start-drinking-less-alcohol.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-06 06:53:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172397", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband Turned Our Marriage Upside Down With Alcohol", "title_slug": "my-husband-turned-our-marriage-upside-down-with-alcohol", "title_hash": "738df4e21c83fd4c97a77c3195d9f041", "summary": "It started subtly. Every day when he returned from work, he smelled of alcohol. He would say his friends offered it to him and he couldn’t refuse. But is it …", "content": "

It started subtly. Every day when he returned from work, he smelled of alcohol. He would say his friends offered it to him and he couldn’t refuse. But is it every day you go to the bar after work?

On Sundays, just before we set the table to eat our usual fufu, he would step out for something he called “for the road.” It didn’t stop there. Gradually, he moved from taking shots at the bar to buying alcohol and bringing it home, drinking in front of us, in front of the children.

I couldn’t have a proper conversation with my husband for more than ten minutes because I couldn’t hold my breath that long. Sleeping in the same bed became unbearable. I created distance, turned my back to him, leaving a wide space between us.

I complained. He said, “This is what men do. We drink our problems away. You can’t tell me what to do.” I cried. I begged. Still, he came home drunk. When I pushed further, he said all men were doing it, so what was the big fuss?

His drinking destroyed our finances. Anytime he had money, it went into feeding his addiction. Bills didn’t matter. School fees didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, only that he had alcohol by his side. What made it worse was that he didn’t even want me to work. The responsibility fell heavily on me, and I couldn’t carry it all.

If I tried to run small businesses behind his back to survive, it turned into a fight. He beat me blue and black. He beat me until I begged for my life. Some days, I tried to convince myself he beat me for comfort, like it made him feel like a man.

One day, before he returned from work, I left.

I came into the marriage with one child and had three more for him. I took all of them with me. I went back home, gathered money, and started a nursery. I went from house to house, encouraging parents to bring their children. I went to offices. Slowly, things began to work in my favor.

For five years after I left, he never reached out, not to me, not to the children. His family didn’t even call to check on them. I carried everything with grace. If you didn’t know my story, you would think I was born into comfort. I was the one who left, so I told myself this was the price to pay, and I accepted it.

Two months ago, I received a call from his sister.

“He is very sick. The doctors don’t think he will make it. Please bring the children to see him before he dies.”

I took the children, 19, 16, and 13. When we arrived, he couldn’t speak to them. It was as if it were a staring competition. I had seen him recover from alcohol-related illness before, but this time was different. Bad different. He died a week later. A failed kidney. Pancreatitis. A damaged liver. So many things in one body.

I later learned he used to come and park near my school just to watch us, then drive away. I don’t know why he never reached out. Maybe he knew how much he had hurt me, his infidelity, his drinking, even after doctors warned him he wouldn’t live long if he didn’t stop.

I mourned him, not as a husband, but as the father of my children, and once, my best friend. His family, especially his father, made sure the children received their inheritance.

But in those five years, I met someone. A gentleman. A friend. A good man. He set boundaries without even speaking, just through respect and understanding. We don’t live together yet. My children are grown, but I don’t think they are ready.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

When my ex died, I was asked to speak as his wife. I did it for old times’ sake and for the children. When I told the man I am with, he encouraged me. “Speak positively. Leave the past where it belongs.” And I did.

What shocked me more was that he told me he was coming to the burial to stand with me. And he was there.

So to the girl who shared about her ex being dead and not knowing whether to go to the funeral, let your partner know. His reaction may shock you. That is your daughter’s father and I know he knows she is important to you. That will be the reason he will respect how you feel.

—Bissiwah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Husband, Turned, Our, Marriage, Upside, Down, With, Alcohol", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/multiethnic-entrepreneurs-talk-business-whiskey-luxurious-social-club-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-husband-turned-our-marriage-upside-down-with-alcohol/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-03 08:10:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172396", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Gives 30% of Her Salary to the Church but Won’t Support Our Home", "title_slug": "my-wife-gives-30-of-her-salary-to-the-church-but-wont-support-our-home", "title_hash": "6bdc43a672dd75758d4856b3dc0d4a94", "summary": "My wife is in a special relationship with her church and whatever the pastor says. She listens to her pastor and does everything he says, but when it comes to …", "content": "

My wife is in a special relationship with her church and whatever the pastor says. She listens to her pastor and does everything he says, but when it comes to me, she turns into a lawyer, interrogating the rationality behind everything I say. She earns more than I do. In fact, my monthly salary is only 45% of hers, but she doesn’t do anything to help in the house because, according to the Bible, it’s a man’s duty to cater for the home.

What does she use her salary for?

Every month, apart from paying tithe, she also contributes 30% of her salary to church projects. According to what her pastor told her, doing that will secure her a better place in heaven because she helped build the church of the Lord on earth.

It didn’t make sense to me, so I argued with her. I even threatened that I would prevent her from going to church if she didn’t stop. She told me, “Daddy said that doing God’s work comes with issues like this, and I’m not surprised that you’re acting this way.”

We can lack everything in the house, and she will not lift a finger. Even for a toilet roll, she would ask me to give her money to buy it. She once slept in darkness because I wasn’t home to buy prepaid, but she sent money to the church so the house of the Lord would stay lit.

Anytime we talk about it, she makes it sound like I’m doing this just to have access to her money. She tells me to change my job if they are not paying me enough to take care of the home. She tells me to get extra gigs to earn more income. She talks about everything that would make our lives better, forgetting that she has the power to make things better for us.

So one dawn, after praying to God to provide us with our daily bread, I sat her down to talk about physical bread. I asked her, “How much do you have in your bank account?” She retorted, “At this hour, you want to talk about my bank account? I have nothing there.” I asked, “How much do you have in investments?”

She replied, “Investments here on earth, when I’ve been promised bigger and better ones up there? Haven’t you heard about people losing their investments recently? Have you ever heard of anyone losing their investment in heaven?”

She is the only one in her family who attends that church. Her parents are Presbyterian. All her siblings are still in the Presbyterian church. I am a Methodist. In the beginning, when I didn’t know much about her church, I agreed with her that we all worship one God, so after marriage we could remain in our individual churches. It’s after marriage that I’ve come to realize my wife worships two gods—her pastor and then God in heaven.

I tried to talk to her dad to make him understand what my wife was doing. He said, “Eiii, you want to speak to Paulina about her church? She won’t listen. What haven’t we done or said?”

She went to the university a Presbyterian and came back with that church tied behind her back. It’s like a cult to her. She doesn’t disobey anything said in that church but is willing to go toe-to-toe with everyone else.

Just recently, she bought a car on loan. I was happy for her, even though she didn’t tell me she was going to buy it. She said it was a surprise. We celebrated it as a new milestone in our lives. She drove the car to church on Sunday and came back home in a trotro. She said, “Pastor is praying over it to sanctify it.”

That was the last straw for me. I quickly rushed to the church and asked about the pastor. I stood there for hours before I got the chance to meet him. I told him my mission, and the first question he asked was, “Does Paulina know you’re here for the car?” I answered, “It’s my car. She doesn’t have to know about it. Can I have the keys?”

While we were talking, a gentleman drove in with the car. I asked him to hand over the keys, and he turned to look at the pastor, who was then on the phone, probably talking with my wife. I took the keys and drove the car home. By the time I got home, she already knew what had happened and was angrily waiting for me. “Take the car back. Did I send you to go for it? What’s wrong with you?”

Do you know she took the car back? For some reason, she went back for it and returned home, still angry with me throughout the week.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

From that day, I decided I wouldn’t talk about her church again but would rather take matters into my own hands. These days, when she asks for money, I tell her I’m broke. When she asks for money for housekeeping, I tell her she can also take care of the house. It’s a struggle, but I’m ready to go the extra mile to break her down. Last dawn, I heard her praying to God to change my heart and make me a better husband.

I smiled and pulled the cloth over my head. I knew I was marrying a God-centered person. I didn’t know it would get to this level of extremity.

—Josh

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Wife, Gives, 30, Her, Salary, the, Church, but, Won’t, Support, Our, Home", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/1149.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-gives-30-of-her-salary-to-the-church-but-wont-support-our-home/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-03 08:10:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172395", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Should Have Ended My Marriage on the Honeymoon Night", "title_slug": "i-should-have-ended-my-marriage-on-the-honeymoon-night", "title_hash": "1737badd41691d451df91f66b50fb97a", "summary": "On the first night of our honeymoon, my wife didn’t allow me to touch her. Instead, she made me get on my knees and beg to consummate our marriage. When …", "content": "

On the first night of our honeymoon, my wife didn’t allow me to touch her. Instead, she made me get on my knees and beg to consummate our marriage. When she finally gave in, she lay there like a log of wood. It felt as empty as the tomb where Jesus was buried.

We married after a year of dating. I met her on Facebook, where her profile was a shrine to her faith. “God is good” “God is not a man that He should lie.” It was as if her entire identity was built on her faith. That caught my attention, but it was her rare beauty that forced me to reach out.

When we started seeing each other, we felt it in our souls: we would stand at the altar and vow to be husband and wife until death.

That is why what happened on our honeymoon sent a shock down my spine. Still, I took it in good faith. I hoped that back home, the woman who spent her days preaching on social media would fulfill her marital duties. She didn’t even come close.

The one time she willingly allowed intimacy, she fell pregnant. Throughout the pregnancy, I stepped up. I washed clothes, cleaned the house, and cooked every meal. Before she could even reach for a pillow to adjust her back, I was there. My faith in us was slowly returning—until she gave birth and her mother moved in.

I didn’t know then that peace was about to become a visitor instead of a resident.

My mother-in-law came to help with the baby and stayed far longer than we agreed. Her excuse? She had been kicked out of her home and had nowhere to go. She asked her daughter, “Do you want to throw me onto the streets?” My wife fell for the bait and insisted she stay. At first, I didn’t mind. She was my wife’s mother, which made her mine, too.

But now, I often forget I’m even married in my own house.

Her mother makes every decision. She tells her daughter how to love me—and when not to. I even overheard her in the kitchen saying, “Why are you serving your husband first? This is the 21st century; haven’t you heard of the ‘change’?” It took me a moment to realize she was weaponizing feminism against our marriage.

The disrespect has become a pattern. When I buy groceries and they run out, they buy replacements and hide them and wouldn’t mind me going hungry. My wife has never helped with my chores. If I leave my laundry outside and forget it, she’ll let it rot in the rain before she lends a hand.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Once, she even accused me of stealing her money. When I told her I hadn’t seen it, she threatened me: “If I don’t find that money, I’ll take the matter to the gods.” That statement alone made me lose my temper.

Honestly, I feel like I’m watching a movie. My own house is on fire and I’m just standing there in shock. There’s zero respect, zero support, and zero partnership here. It’s wild watching my wife let her mother triumph over her. It’s like I’m being forced to pay for her husband’s sins.

How do I fix a marriage with no intimacy, no respect, and a mother-in-law running the show? I need to know how to build a healthy home from these ashes.

—JOB

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#SB<>

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I’ve worked for nine years in the same organization in the same position. I got a promotion a few weeks ago, and this promotion has become the little fox destroying the vine of our marriage.

I was working here even before I met my husband. I met him through an errand I was running for the company. He asked for my number after transacting with me, and from the very day he had my number, he started calling, trying to be my friend, and later tried to make me his girlfriend.

I remember that in one of our very first conversations, I expressed my frustration about my inability to be promoted at my workplace. I told him I was looking for another opportunity because it didn’t look like I was growing professionally where I was. He told me it was a good thing. At that time, I had worked for five years, and I had seen junior colleagues get promoted, even those I taught how to do their work.

Right after marriage three years ago, he started finding ways for me to secure a better job with a higher salary. He tried using his friend, and this same man he calls a friend tried to have an affair with me.

I didn’t hide it from him. I told him what was going on, and he said I was overthinking it. Maybe his friend was only trying to be nice. I wanted to get evidence to support my case, but that man hardly texted anything inappropriate. He only said those things unexpectedly when I was with him. After telling my husband, I thought he would confront his friend so I could defend my position in front of both of them. He didn’t do it until I pulled away from the said friend.

After that incident, he blamed me for not following up hard enough to get the job. I stopped looking for support from him and instead concentrated on my work.

I had an opportunity to travel to Nigeria with the owner of the company and two other colleagues. I didn’t deserve to be on that trip, but for some reason, four days before the trip, I was included. When I told my husband about it, his reaction didn’t reflect happiness but rather suspicion.

“Why did they tell you this late? Don’t they know you have a husband you ought to seek permission from?”

I explained everything to him, but he was still not at peace with it. He asked who I was going to share my room with. He asked about the relationship between me and the owner of the company who selected me. He asked if the man had tried making advances toward me. He even helped select the clothes I was supposed to travel with. He took away all my nighties and replaced them with jean shorts and bubu. He said, “You don’t know the people you’re traveling with, and you want to be in a nightie?”

While in Nigeria, he called me as though I had traveled with his eyesight. In the evenings, he called on video and asked me to give him a tour of my room. It was tough, but we came back a week later. A little over a month after our return, I got a promotion at work. The owner of the company was impressed by my numbers, so much so that he wanted me as part of his office team.

I told my husband, and he screamed, “I knew it. After nine years, you get promoted just after a trip with your boss. How poetic.”

I was shocked. That wasn’t what I expected to hear. I asked, “What do you mean? I impressed him on the trip. My numbers were through the roof.”

He retorted, “Yeah, you’ll impress him. Was it only your numbers that were through the roof?”

I ignored him, but the wound his words left went too deep. When I got my appointment letter, I didn’t tell him about it. He had to see it in my bag because he had been searching through my things for whatever he was looking for. He saw my salary, and that was the only thing that caught his attention because I’m going to earn more than him. He asked, “You really impressed that man. Can I also get the opportunity to impress him, or that role is reserved only for people’s wives?”

We’ve been fighting ceaselessly these days. He gets angry whenever anything related to my job comes up. The last time we argued, he said explicitly, “If I were you, I wouldn’t take this, knowing very well my husband doesn’t trust what I did to get the job.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I told him, “I would rather my husband leave me than lose something I’ve worked for nine years of my life.”

I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Maybe one of us will get tired and step back, or leave the marriage altogether. And the person who needs to get tired and step back is my husband or I will be the one to get tired and leave the marriage.

—Belinda

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I dated my boyfriend for nine years. We were only months into the relationship when he first told me about his marriage. It caught me completely off guard. I felt a wave of surprise, then guilt, and finally, a deep pity for him. I was surprised because he didn’t seem like the “married type.” I felt guilty because I couldn’t believe I was dating another woman’s husband. But then I felt sorry for him after hearing his side—how “bad” of a wife she supposedly was.

He told me “We are in the middle of a divorce right now. We are only separated, but there is no going back.”

I was 21 when we started dating. I stayed with him, believing that once everything ended with his wife, we would start our own family, new and fresh. He was good to me. He supported me whenever I needed it; all I had to do was ask. He was sweet, and our love felt pure, at least from every angle I chose to see it.

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One evening, I received a call from his wife. She was screaming. “Why do you want to destroy my family? Take my children’s father away from them? Three children—three! Are you not a woman like me? Woman to woman!”

Three children? “I thought you had only two?” I asked her. That was the part that shook me the most. He told me they had two. As it turned out, she was pregnant with their third child. When I tried to question her, she would not explain. She just kept shouting before ending the call.

That was the first time we had a big fight. I demanded answers, but he stuck to the same old story. “We are separated. We are separated.”

Our relationship grew deeper after that, and I convinced myself that the only thing standing in the way of our happy ending was his wife. I decided that if she would not leave him, then I would not leave either.

Years later, I now have two children with him. Long ago, he promised to come and see my family to perform the customary marriage rites, but he is still hiding behind excuses, even though he has the means to do it. We even pooled money together to buy land, intending to build something small for me and the children. Nothing has been done.

He rented a place for me and stays with me most of the time, but he still goes home to his family on weekends.

A few months ago, after I gave birth to my second child, I went through his phone. That was when I discovered that, aside from me and his wife, there are other women, one married woman and two others.

Now I find myself asking, why are we not enough for him? His wife and I, why are we not enough? I am sure his wife has already accepted that I am her rival and has come to terms with it. Why can he not do the same?

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I am heartbroken. I am angry, angry at life, angry at him, angry at the love I have for him. My hope in him is shattered. The belief that he was different is gone. I know I am a good person, but I feel lost. How did I get here? What do I do next? I feel so heartbroken and confused.

He has promised me so much, yet I still cannot leave him.

—Berthy

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This story was originally reported by Candice Norwood of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

Every survivor of sexual assault is forced to make a calculation: What are the repercussions if they speak out?

Dolores Huerta felt the weight of the entire labor rights movement, which she feared would crumble if she accused civil rights leader Cesar Chavez of sexual abuse.

“The weight of that calculation is the same weight for every single survivor in the farm worker industry,” attorney Karla Altmayer told The 19th. “They’re not thinking about the movement, but they’re thinking about: ‘Will my family be able to work next year?’ ‘Will I be abandoned in the field?’ ‘Will I be killed?’”

Huerta’s experience with sexual violence, and her reason for keeping it secret—first reported in a New York Times investigation — echos a current of fear running through the farmworkers she spent her life advocating for. An estimated 26 percent of U.S. farmworkers are women, and they face disproportionate risk of sexual harassment and assault in their workplaces. A majority of women farmworkers are Latina and foreign-born. Data capturing the full scope of sexual violence they experience is scarce.

One 2010 survey found that 80 percent of respondents—150 Mexican and Mexican-descent women working in the fields of California’s Central Valley—said they experienced some form of sexual harassment. A 2015 focus group with 49 Latina farmworkers in the Pacific Northwest found that a majority of participants experienced or witnessed sexual harassment or violence in the workplace.

Farms can hire workers directly for either permanent or seasonal work planting, tending, or harvesting crops. Other times, a crew leader or contractor, sometimes called a “foreman,” recruits and supervises workers who may travel together between farms for work. Another category of farmworkers are brought into the country under the H-2A program for seasonal work, and receive housing as part of their temporary work agreement.

“Migrant workers, specifically, are traveling throughout the seasons, following crops and harvest, and so they depend on everything—from a glass of water to where their housing is, where they’re going to sleep at night, to eat, whether they have the equipment to cook, or whether they can even go to the bathroom in the field,” said Altmayer, who began her career representing Illinois farm workers and later co-founded the organization Healing to Action, which focused on addressing gender-based violence. “So, it’s just the conditions are so specific and so dependent on the employer in a way that many other industries don’t experience.”

The result is a power structure where their ability to secure and maintain job opportunities can depend on a pool of men who have the power to fire them, target their family members, report them to immigration officials, or harass and follow them beyond the workplace.

For more than 15 years, Elizabeth Torres has worked to document the experiences of farm workers facing sexual violence in the Yakima Valley of Washington state. Torres told The 19th that some warehouse facilities have a space known as “the cold room,” a designated place where young women and girls are taken and assaulted. Many of the women on farms are mothers who bring their children to work because of lack of child care or a need for more family income.

What can happen next is often unexpected. Comments from a male supervisor complimenting a child’s appearance, or coaxing a mother to leave her child alone, according to Torres, who is director of operations at the Spanish-language public radio station KDNA.

If a woman is working in the fields with her husband or brother, for example, the foreman could assign the husband to one location and require the woman to work in a completely separate, more isolated spot where she can be assaulted.

Anali Cortez Bulosan and Josephine Weinberg, both attorneys with California Rural Legal Assistance, said that sexual harassment complaints from farmworkers are among the top three issues they handle in their work.

“The ones that come to us, generally, there’s been some shoddy investigation or attempt to resolve the matter, that basically didn’t resolve the matter. Or our client complained, and instead, the harassment continued or intensified until they couldn’t handle it anymore,” Weinberg said.

While some larger commercial farms have designated human resources teams that handle complaints, on other farms, the only person to complain to could be the abuser. Whether a large or small farm, workers have no guarantee that their complaints will lead to a remedy.

Accumulating enough evidence to prove a case is one of the biggest challenges, according to Cortez Bulosan and Weinberg. Farms and supervisors also punish the workers.

“Most of the time there are what we call it under the law, ‘constructive discharge,’ where the conditions have become so hostile that the worker is quitting, but it’s a forced quit,” Weinberg said. “In effect, it’s like a termination because the conditions have gotten so bad. It’s considered a firing.”

While a worker can be blacklisted from other jobs for being a “problem employee,” a violent supervisor or foreman often continues to work, sometimes traveling to farms throughout the country. Going directly to the police also comes with a high cost, on top of being fired. Law enforcement dismiss assault claims because of personal bias or lack of evidence, advocates said. They may also check a worker’s immigration status and report to federal immigration agents.

In the documentary “Rape in the Fields” by PBS Frontline, a former Iowa sheriff stated that it was their job “to do both,” meaning address reports of assault and also work with immigration enforcement. “Puts the victim in an almost impossible situation,” he acknowledged.

“If you see law enforcement coming in to the plant and taking your co-workers, you are not going to go to them the next day and say ‘by the way, can you help me?’” immigration lawyer Sonia Parras said in the documentary.

Since the release of “Rape in the Fields” in 2013, and since the viral #MeToo movement in 2017 put a spotlight on sexual harassment and assault happening in Hollywood, politics, and beyond, some states and farming companies have made modest changes. In 2018, California enacted a law to require farm labor contractors to provide regular sexual harassment training and to document that training. The state also expanded its law requiring more employers to provide sexual harassment training. Before 2018, California employers with fewer than 50 employees were exempt from these state requirements. That threshold was then lowered to five employees.

In Washington state, Torres and Jody Early, a professor at the University of Washington, Bothell, co-created Basta, a community-driven initiative. Basta provides sexual harassment training and resources like videos, guides, and even a comic book aimed at informing farmworkers of their rights and helping to change the workplace culture that enables abuse.

Torres said that while some farms have improved their resources, for example, by establishing an anonymous hotline, there are others where “they haven’t even started talking about sexual harassment or harassment in the workplace,” she said. “And so there is a huge variety within our community.”

Cortez Bulosan and Weinberg said they don’t believe broader systemic change will come from new laws.

“We have a lot of great laws,” Weinberg said. “It has more to do with how a woman or a man or whoever is received when they complain, how their complaints are treated.” That includes cultural competency training that meets the specific needs of individual workplaces. Basta is one community network pushing to change this culture.

“There are companies that want to do better. They want to do good by their employees, and we choose to work with them, and they can make a big difference in showing examples of creating that,” Early said. “Another thing to understand is that consumers have power. We’ve seen this happen even here: boycotts against certain growers that aren’t listening to the workers, that aren’t caring. That has a lot of power.”

$\"\"$

The post Dolores Huerta Feared Speaking About Her Abuse for Years. The Farmworkers She Advocates for Understand. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Dolores, Huerta, Feared, Speaking, About, Her, Abuse, for, Years., The, Farmworkers, She, Advocates, for, Understand.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/pixel.19thnews.org/2026/03/dolores-huerta-abuse-farmworkers-silence?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/30/dolores-huerta-abuse-farmworkers-silence/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-03 07:16:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172111", "lang_id": "1", "title": "For Trans Community, U.S. is Less Safe Under Trump", "title_slug": "for-trans-community-us-is-less-safe-under-trump", "title_hash": "e34f4934a4aac5cc2c938cda76ed5839", "summary": "On Trans Day of Visibility, Rewire News Group reviews the legal and political attacks faced by trans people in the U.S. over the past year.\nThe post For Trans Community, U.S. is Less Safe Under Trump appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The past year has seen the Trump administration systematically dismantle trans rights and autonomy, making the country a less safe place for trans people to live and thrive.

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Rewire News Group has followed these political and legal assaults, and documented their human consequences. This Trans Day of Visibility, we’re highlighting our coverage of the people and places most impacted.

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Laws targeting trans youth

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In June 2025, the Supreme Court ruled that Tennessee could stop transgender minors from receiving gender-affirming care via hormone therapy, puberty blockers, or surgery. The decision, United States v. Skrmetti, “blessed anti-trans discrimination,” wrote RNG Executive Producer Jessica Mason Pieklo. While the case narrowly focused on trans youth in one state, “conservative states across the U.S. now have permission from the highest court in the land to further crack down on health care for trans Americans,” Pieklo explained.

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The next month, as part of our TransMissives series, RNG published a letter from Daniel, a trans teen whose family had decided to leave the U.S. in hopes of finding a safer place to raise him. Between 2022 and the time Daniel’s story was published, more than 2,400 bills attempting to chip away at trans rights had been introduced across the United States. Many of them, like Tennessee’s gender-affirming care ban, target children and adolescents.

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Daniel is hardly the only student affected by the Trump administration’s anti-trans policies.

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In October 2025, a month into the first new school year since President Donald Trump took office for a second term, RNG contributor Rebecca Barker explained how his new higher education “compact” would put trans and nonbinary college students at risk. “The heavy-handed document promises federal funding in exchange for ideological compliance,” Barker wrote, requiring schools to “adhere to strict, binary definitions of sex and gender.”

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And on the Boom! Lawyered podcast, Pieklo and co-host Imani Gandy analyzed another Supreme Court ruling that erodes the rights of younger trans kids. With Mirabelli v. Bonta, they said after the March 2026 decision, the Supreme Court rewrote parental rights law at the expense of trans children.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Warning letters and bounty hunter laws

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In December 2025, the Food and Drug Administration sent a letter that unleashed chaos on at least 12 companies that make and sell chest binders, or compression garments resembling sports bras. It warned them that their products could be seized and their sales halted if they continued to market binders as a treatment for gender dysphoria.

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“We will not allow intimidation or targeting to deter us from that work,” one trans shop owner told reporter Hallie Lieberman for her February 2026 story on their scramble to comply.

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Just a few weeks later, legal analyst Mia Brett documented a disquieting legal trend: Bathroom laws in Kansas and beyond were incentivizing people to police public bathrooms and sue trans people who use restrooms that align with their gender identities. The incentive: a financial kickback. This tactic is modeled on Texas’ “bounty hunter” anti-abortion laws, Brett wrote. Earlier in March, we republished a story from Morgan Chilson at the Kansas Reflector about how the Kansas bathroom law puts trans people at even greater risk of verbal and physical harassment.

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Even amid all the bad news, we also found stories of trans resilience, normalcy, and joy. In August 2025, to conclude the TransMissives series, we published a letter by a young trans girl named Julia, who felt loved and supported by her family, teacher, and community.

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“We all get to decide who we want to be,” she wrote, “and I just want to be me.”

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This article was adapted from a Bluesky thread.

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The post For Trans Community, U.S. is Less Safe Under Trump appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "For, Trans, Community, U.S., Less, Safe, Under, Trump", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Trans-day-of-visibility-web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/31/for-trans-community-u-s-is-less-safe-under-trump/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-03 07:16:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "172110", "lang_id": "1", "title": "IVF is Pricey. Some Patients Are Crowdsourcing Their Fertility Medications ", "title_slug": "ivf-is-pricey-some-patients-are-crowdsourcing-their-fertility-medications", "title_hash": "c418ae0e75ca11e23ff49e5863fcc48e", "summary": "A single IVF cycle can cost around $30,000. Donated drugs can save patients thousands of dollars and create community around a grueling process—but experts have safety and quality concerns.\nThe post IVF is Pricey. Some Patients Are Crowdsourcing Their Fertility Medications appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

My wife and I sat in a Starbucks off the highway in Greenwich, Connecticut, waiting for a non-descript woman who said she would be holding a cardboard box.

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I didn’t see her car, her license plate, or even get her last name, but I knew she was a nurse. The handover was quick, and we lucked out on our first haul. She had hooked us up with extra needles, syringes and alcohol wipes. And she gave us a boost of confidence in our slightly unhinged plan to have a child without breaking the bank any further.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Our second stop was 30 minutes east, in a random carpark, where we scored two bags, iced appropriately. The contents of both pick-ups were still cold by the time we made it home.

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That six-hour tour of southeastern Connecticut made a dent in the list of medications we needed to start our in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle. In the process, we uncovered the ways in which patients are quietly finding ways to subsidize their fertility costs.

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A daunting $30,000 price tag

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My wife and I live in the New York City area. Once we were 35, we were ready to start a family. The plan was to use my eggs and for me to carry the pregnancy, so we chose a sperm donor who had features resembling my wife’s.

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In 2024, three failed attempts at intrauterine insemination—or IUI, where concentrated sperm is placed into the uterus during ovulation—led us to a fertility clinic in Manhattan. The clinic quoted us $17,850 for a single egg retrieval.

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An egg harvesting cycle spans approximately two weeks. This price tag didn’t include the consult, diagnostic and genetic testing, anesthesia, sperm injection, or embryo-testing parts of that process. It also didn’t include the vital medications that stimulate the ovaries to produce more eggs and help time ovulation, so they can be harvested. Just the monitoring appointments, egg retrieval procedure, and inseminating the oocytes, or egg cells, with sperm would clock in at $17,850, roughly half the $30,000 cost of the total IUI cycle.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Neither of us had fertility insurance. I’m self-employed and my wife works for a small business, so we had to pay all our IVF expenses out-of-pocket. New York is one of 15 states that have laws requiring insurance to cover IVF, but these rules tend to come with caveats, such as exempting employers with fewer than 100 employees.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Not willing to career jump just for benefits, I asked our doctor if there was anything we could do to reduce costs, especially the medication, which was quoted at $6,000 to $8,000. She said sometimes IVF patients donate their unused, unopened medications once they’re done with them.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It was game on.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I refreshed the r/IVF subreddit “Med Donation” tab every 30 minutes for weeks, so I could be the first to respond if I saw a post with a medication I needed. With 206,000 weekly visitors, I usually saw half a dozen medication donation posts per day.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I also turned to Facebook Groups like IVF Garage Sale, with around 27,000 members, and the more local NYC IVF/IUI Support Group. While the latter only has 2,700 members, it’s specific to my area.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Olena Kalo, a co-admin of the NYC IVF/IUI Support Group, took on the role because she wanted to give back to the community after experiencing challenges trying to conceive her second child. The group, which started in 2017, attracts between two and three new members per day, and Kalo sees a medication donation post about once a week.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Facebook bans the selling of prescription drugs on its platform.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Our group rules state that you can’t put full names of medications,” Kalo added.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“What I’ve seen is people say, ‘I have’ or ‘I have to DON,’” to avoid running afoul of the rules, Kalo said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

A teacher I met through this group, who was also a patient at my Midtown Manhattan clinic, gave me five boxes of Menopur, a medication that helps the ovaries produce more eggs in a retrieval. It’s one of the most expensive fertility medications we needed, and her donation saved my family around $2,250.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In our quest to save thousands more, we traveled to parts of New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut over two months, and met with around a dozen former IVF patients in unassuming locations like parking lots, outside of offices, and even inside their homes.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Those encounters were more than a medical exchange. Some of my sources were pregnant. Many of them, pregnant or not, shared their experiences, cheered us on, and gave us insider tips like medications to try, as we were embarking on the start of the countless shots, blood draws, bruises, and hormonal whiplash.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Discounters get into the IVF business

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Costco, the international wholesaler known for its bargain-bin prices, announced in March 2026 that it was getting into the fertility business and would offer its members IVF drugs at a steep discount of up to 80 percent—a signal of just how expensive the business of conceiving a child can be.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

According to GoodRx, an online prescription discount platform, the cost of IVF medications has surged by 84 percent since 2014. This vastly outpaces the 37 percent rise across all prescription drugs, a price hike experts say has been driven by surging demand and the limited insurance coverage of IVF medications.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The GoodRx report also found that there are few generic alternatives with IVF medications, leaving patients with more expensive, branded options.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

President Donald Trump made reducing prescription costs a key campaign promise in his 2024 presidential campaign platform. He also billed himself as the “fertilization president.” In February 2026, the administration launched TrumpRx, a discount drug platform, peddled in part as a way to reduce the cost of IVF.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Of the six medications I needed for my IVF cycle, TrumpRx only lists three, at moderately reduced prices. A 900 IU vial of Gonal-F, a common IVF drug that stimulates egg development, is $504 on TrumpRx and $780 at Alto Pharmacy, one of my clinic’s partner pharmacies.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Even with those savings, the rest of the fertility process would still cost a pretty penny.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Online IVF communities are a response to this problem.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Kalo, the co-admin of the NYC IVF/IUI Support Group, believes these online communities probably function better in some places than in others. There might be more availability of medication in New York due to the city’s size, she suggested, or because of the state’s mandated fertility coverage.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

People are also having children later, meaning they’re more likely to need IVF. According to CDC research, 2023 marked the first time in U.S. history that more women in their 40s are having babies than teenagers. The average age for first-time mothers in “urban cities” was about 28.5 years in 2023, compared to 24.8 years in rural areas.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

San Francisco had the oldest average age for first-time mothers—32.8—in 2023, according to the San Francisco Standard. New York came in third, at 31.9.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It’s not just self-pay patients who are turning to online groups. Patients might need more cycles than their insurance will cover, or their plan imposes rigid conditions on how coverage can be used. Then there are patients whose medication protocol gets extended mid-cycle, requiring them to source extra drugs on a tight timeline—sometimes before they can get insurance approval for it.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Kalo and other fertility patients DIYing their meds are grateful for these groups where people can find medications, answers, and emotional support.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Still, “if we found out that somebody was relying on a neighbor’s goodwill for their diabetes medication, we would be outraged,” Kalo said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

For her, the online IVF community is a band-aid for a problem that needs a permanent fix.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Things only happen in the medical field because we’ve banded together and demanded change,” she said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Medication exchanges are a symptom of a broken system that forces some patients to fill the gaps for others. While I’m grateful for the fellow patients and friends of friends whose donations helped my family do two IVF cycles, group chats shouldn’t have to be an access point for reproductive health care.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Online versus overseas IVF meds

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Overseas online pharmacies can offer another, cheaper alternative for some U.S. patients.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Fast IVF, for example, is an online pharmacy that sends IVF medications from their locations in Germany, Turkey, and Amsterdam. Europe caps what the medication can be purchased at, unlike the U.S. where there are no limits.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Mary Copperman, one of Fast IVF’s U.S.-based representatives, said they work directly with the manufacturer, which is how they’re able to get better rates.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If we take that 900 IU Gonal-F pen as an example again, it’s $439 through Fast IVF, compared to $504 at TrumpRx.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Kara, a former IVF patient based in California who asked not to use her last name for privacy reasons, was told she’d never get pregnant naturally, after they found stage 4 endometriosis and fallopian tubes “as large as sausages—filled with fluid.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Kara was quoted $5,000 to $6,000 for one cycle of medication. She ended up spending $1,750 per cycle at two overseas websites—IVF Pharmacy and Discount IVF Meds. She was one of the many patients who didn’t have success on the first round.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Customers who purchase their IVF drugs overseas need constant reassurance that it’s safe and that their meds will arrive on time, Copperman said—especially if they’ve found Fast IVF through a Google search.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Patients sometimes think it’s too good to be true,” she said. The FDA continues to warn consumers of safety and efficacy concerns as it relates to overseas pharmacies.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In the end, Kara needed three egg retrievals and four transfers to conceive her three children. Multiple IVF cycles is the norm—something I wish was made clearer at the start. Two years, two egg retrievals, and three embryo transfers on, my journey continues.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

My story isn’t rare.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

For IVF patients like me, with costs adding up, the international route may be more appealing to those who worry about taking donated meds from strangers.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I felt better about getting medication shipped than donated because it seemed like a more controlled process and safer,” Kara said. “Also, most people aren’t donating the amount that I needed, and I didn’t want to try to source from a bunch of different places.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“It was the same [medication] names, from the same manufacturer,” she continued. “They came on time. It was stressful to wonder if they’d come. But I had seen on some chat boards it worked for other people, so I went for it.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

IVF is ‘essential medicine’

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Dr. Serena H. Chen MD, director of advocacy at a New Jersey fertility clinic called CCRM, agrees that IVF patients shouldn’t depend on donated drugs, which may not be as safe or reliable.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“As a physician, it’s basically against the law. We really can’t condone that,” she said. “We get offers of donations all the time. And it’s a little heartbreaking because we know how much money people have paid for these meds and how much people need them.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

She hopes the new pricing from the federal government will cause other major companies that produce fertility drugs in the U.S. to price match, ultimately increasing accessibility.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Dr. Chen doesn’t recommend overseas pharmacies, either, “because it’s not going through the U.S. system and we can’t vouch for those medications.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Instead, she works with the patient to try to find discounts locally, based on their insurance plan and location.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Ultimately, she believes the game-changer for the industry would be if “fertility treatments including assisted reproduction” were added to the Centers for Medicare & Medicare Services (CMS) list of essential health care. That would mean IVF for all government and military employees would be covered, she said, prompting commercial insurance to recognize it as essential health-care too.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“If we can get this as an essential health benefit listed with CMS, then it has a ripple effect through the whole system,” she said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

IVF advocacy groups are also working to encourage states to pass more insurance mandates.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In 2026, California began requiring health plans to cover the diagnosis and treatment of infertility, the latest state to do so. An Oregon bill seeking to to impose a similar mandate didn’t make it out of committee, but lawmakers are expected to try again next year.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Reproduction is essential to the continuation of the human race,” Chen said. “It’s really, in many ways, a life-or-death situation.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\r\n\r\n\r\n

The post IVF is Pricey. Some Patients Are Crowdsourcing Their Fertility Medications appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In this episode, Imani and Jess dive into the Supreme Court’s conversion therapy decision, birthright citizenship oral arguments, and rumors that President Donald Trump has his eye on Texas Sen. Ted Cruz for his next Supreme Court nomination.

Independent journalism only exists because of you. Become a member today.

Listen up! Imani Gandy now has her own podcast feed. Subscribe to B*tch, Listen! on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts so you don’t miss an episode. And yes, you need to subscribe even if you’re already following the Boom! Lawyered channel.

The post Will Donald Trump Put Ted Cruz on the Supreme Court? (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Will, Donald, Trump, Put, Ted, Cruz, the, Supreme, Court, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "34", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/BL-S09-E54-YT.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/04/02/will-donald-trump-put-ted-cruz-on-the-supreme-court-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-03 07:16:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "171684", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everything You Need to Know about Therapy", "title_slug": "everything-you-need-to-know-about-therapy", "title_hash": "9b9ceaa3682361139fbcfd9800ae2d8f", "summary": "Are you wondering when to get therapy? Learn the Gottman signs of relationship distress, and take steps to improve communication, conflict resolution and more.\nThe post Everything You Need to Know about Therapy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Are you wondering when to get therapy? Learn the Gottman signs of relationship distress, and take steps to improve communication, conflict resolution and more.

The post Everything You Need to Know about Therapy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Everything, You, Need, Know, about, Therapy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-2232376646.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/everything-you-need-to-know-about-therapy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-01 09:51:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "171683", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Behavioral Health Is the Hidden Foundation of Your Relationship", "title_slug": "why-behavioral-health-is-the-hidden-foundation-of-your-relationship", "title_hash": "3b989fd62becaf0496facac666df79c4", "summary": "Explore the vital link between individual behavioral health and relationship success. Learn why professional guidance can be key to breaking unhelpful or toxic patterns and building a lasting bond.\nThe post Why Behavioral Health Is the Hidden Foundation of Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Explore the vital link between individual behavioral health and relationship success. Learn why professional guidance can be key to breaking unhelpful or toxic patterns and building a lasting bond.

The post Why Behavioral Health Is the Hidden Foundation of Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Why, Behavioral, Health, the, Hidden, Foundation, Your, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-1351965405-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-behavioral-health-is-the-hidden-foundation-of-your-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-01 09:51:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "171549", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Bypass the Status Game in High-End Venues", "title_slug": "how-to-bypass-the-status-game-in-high-end-venues", "title_hash": "47365377a26d021cd739ecd5e6b41240", "summary": "The typical guy in a high-end venue tries to woo women with status: tables, bottles, spend. Here’s how to bypass that entirely & get the girl.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"bypassing$ The typical guy in a high-end venue tries to woo women with status: tables, bottles, spend. Here’s how to bypass that entirely & get the girl.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Bypass, the, Status, Game, High-End, Venues", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/bypass-status-game-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-bypass-status-game-high-end-venues", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-01 09:43:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "171547", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Skilled Seducer of the Month, March 2026: Ratata", "title_slug": "skilled-seducer-of-the-month-march-2026-ratata", "title_hash": "aa7c28b124d8853d153ebfeb31c75bad", "summary": "Want to touch, kiss, and bed girls as fast as you can? Rapid escalation expert Ratata shares his methods in March 2026’s Skilled Seducer interview.\n\nNote: if this interview has an ‘AI style’, that is due to Ratata running his speech-to-text answers to my written interview questions (we didn’t do a call this time) through an LLM to clean up.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"Skilled$ Want to touch, kiss, and bed girls as fast as you can? Rapid escalation expert Ratata shares his methods in March 2026’s Skilled Seducer interview.

Note: if this interview has an ‘AI style’, that is due to Ratata running his speech-to-text answers to my written interview questions (we didn’t do a call this time) through an LLM to clean up.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Skilled, Seducer, the, Month, March, 2026:, Ratata", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/ssotm-ratata-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/skilled-seducer-month-march-2026-ratata", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-01 09:43:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "171548", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Some Girls Don't Text Back Because They're Just BAD at Texting!", "title_slug": "some-girls-dont-text-back-because-theyre-just-bad-at-texting", "title_hash": "c21e8a03d7987de61c436ae324c6e2be", "summary": "Some women are just not good texters. They don’t think to confirm dates or counteroffer an available time. Should you drop them… or should you LEAD?\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"is$ Some women are just not good texters. They don’t think to confirm dates or counteroffer an available time. Should you drop them… or should you LEAD?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Some, Girls, Dont, Text, Back, Because, Theyre, Just, BAD, Texting", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "32", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/bad-at-texting-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/some-girls-dont-text-back-because-theyre-just-bad-texting", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-01 09:43:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "171546", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Ways to Make Girls Like You a LOT (Zero-Risk Method)", "title_slug": "10-ways-to-make-girls-like-you-a-lot-zero-risk-method", "title_hash": "ec9af2b5c995c10691f86c1f7194d07d", "summary": "Much of what men do with women risks those women disliking them. Want girls to like you as much as humanly possible? Eliminate these 10 mistakes!\nIn recent articles, I’ve come down a bit hard on men who opt for trying to make girls like them instead of aiming to sleep with those women.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ Much of what men do with women risks those women disliking them. Want girls to like you as much as humanly possible? Eliminate these 10 mistakes!

In recent articles, I’ve come down a bit hard on men who opt for trying to make girls like them instead of aiming to sleep with those women.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Ways, Make, Girls, Like, You, LOT, Zero-Risk, Method", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/04/make-girls-like-you-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/10-ways-make-girls-you-lot-zero-risk-method", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-04-01 09:43:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "170645", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Telehealth Abortions Increased in States that Ban Abortion in 2025: Report", "title_slug": "telehealth-abortions-increased-in-states-that-ban-abortion-in-2025-report", "title_hash": "972362589ea776675d2ec599c1d36e05", "summary": "A new Guttmacher Institute report found that as more people accessed care virtually, fewer traveled across state lines for abortion access.\nThe post Telehealth Abortions Increased in States that Ban Abortion in 2025: Report appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

New data suggests that patients in states with total abortion bans are increasingly turning to telehealth and away from out-of-state travel for abortion care.

\n\n\n\n

A Guttmacher Institute report, published March 24, 2026, estimated the total number of clinician-provided abortions and incidence of cross-state travel for abortion care in 2025. Researchers found that in the 13 states with total abortion bans—which include Alabama, Idaho, and Texas—telehealth abortions increased from 72,000 in 2024 to 91,000 in 2025.

\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, fewer people crossed state lines to obtain abortion care, from approximately 74,000 in 2024 to 62,000 in 2025.

\n\n\n\n

The estimated total number of abortions provided by clinicians in 2025—1,126,000—remained largely unchanged from 2024, when an estimated 1,124,000 abortions were performed.

\n\n\n\n

“These data underscore what abortion advocates around the world have been saying for decades: Abortion bans and restrictions don’t stop people from needing and having abortions,” Kimya Forouzan, principal state policy adviser at Guttmacher Institute, said in an email to Rewire News Group.

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The Guttmacher report noted that its estimates likely undercount the total number of abortions provided last year, as they exclude abortion pills obtained in advance of a pregnancy, the limited number of abortions still provided under exceptions to total bans, and abortions that were not provided by U.S. health-care professionals.

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Since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, revoking federal abortion protections, 13 states have instituted total abortion bans. Another six have implemented bans on abortion care between six and 12 weeks. Still, many residents living under abortion bans have been able to receive abortion pills from clinicians located in pro-choice states thanks to protective shield laws, which allow providers to offer reproductive and gender-affirming care to patients through telehealth and by mail in states with restrictions.

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Eight states—California, Colorado, Massachusetts, Maine, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington—have extended these “shield law” protections to providers who prescribe medication abortion to patients remotely, according to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Anticipating the Supreme Court’s Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision, which overturned Roe, Connecticut became the first state to pass “shield” legislation in May 2022.

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The FDA finalized a rule allowing prescription of the drug mifepristone, one of the medications used for abortion, without an in-person appointment in 2023, increasing access across the country.

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“Telehealth is not a workaround,” Dr. Amy Potter, chief medical officer at telehealth medication abortion provider Hey Jane, told RNG in an email. “It’s an established model of care, and patients are choosing it because it works.”

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Since its founding in 2021, Hey Jane—one of a number of online women’s health companies that exploded in popularity after Roe was overturned—says it has cared for more than 100,000 patients across 23 states, albeit none with total bans. For many of those recipients, however, “telemedicine was not just a preference but often the most accessible way to get care,” Potter said.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Although telehealth abortions are increasingly becoming the primary way that residents of total-ban states get care—one in four abortions across the U.S. are facilitated via telehealth, Potter said—travel across state lines for in-person treatment is still more than double what it was prior to the Supreme Court’s 2022 decision reversing Roe. From 2013 to 2020, between 19,000 and 25,000 abortions were sought out of state on an annual basis, according to the Guttmacher report.

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In-person treatment is typically pursued by patients who are further along in their pregnancies—medication abortion pills are generally effective within the first 10 weeks—or for those who want a procedural abortion. Federal and state lawmakers are targeting the shield laws that protect out-of-state telehealth care, with the intention of criminalizing providers and, in some cases, their patients.

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“It’s important to note that none of the attacks against shield law provision or abortion via telehealth have been successful, a testament to the strength and legitimacy of these laws,” Fourozan said. “However, we know how relentless and cruel the anti-abortion movement can be, so it’s important to closely monitor these threats and take them seriously.”

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The post Telehealth Abortions Increased in States that Ban Abortion in 2025: Report appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Telehealth, Abortions, Increased, States, that, Ban, Abortion, 2025:, Report", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Mifepristone-pack.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/26/abortion-telehealth-travel-ban-guttmacher/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-30 07:22:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "170644", "lang_id": "1", "title": "No, Abortion Pills Are Not Poisoning Your Drinking Water", "title_slug": "no-abortion-pills-are-not-poisoning-your-drinking-water", "title_hash": "292d524f2ac55979ffd83a80e2cffb71", "summary": "Opinion: A new GOP bill would require patients to collect their “medical waste” after a medication abortion, supposedly to protect the environment. That’s deliberate, strategic disinformation.\nThe post No, Abortion Pills Are Not Poisoning Your Drinking Water appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The Clean Water for All Life Act, introduced last week by Illinois Republican Rep. Mary Miller, sounds like an environmental law. Its sponsors would like you to believe their goal is to protect our drinking water from contaminants. But the new bill is really just a thinly veiled attack on medication abortion.

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If passed, the law would put bizarre restrictions on medication abortion under the guise of addressing “environmental contamination” associated with “abortion-related medical waste.”

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Medication abortions would have to be completed in the “physical presence of a health-care provider,” according to a statement from Miller. (It’s unclear whether this means that the prescription would have to be written in-person, or whether the medication would need to be taken with the provider watching.)

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The legislation would also require a medical examination of the patients, and the health-care provider would have to provide “a medical waste ‘catch kit’ and red bag disposal system, along with instructions for returning the waste to a health-care provider for proper handling.”

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In effect, this bill would end telehealth abortion care and mail-order mifepristone. Anyone who somehow meets all those requirements would have to collect everything that comes out of their vagina after a medication abortion and return it in-person to their provider for disposal. All of this is purportedly to save our water supply from contamination.

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This is impractical, more than a little gross, and downright cruel. While the legislation might be wrapped in seemingly progressive environmental language, it’s clearly meant to punish abortion patients. Republicans in Congress have tried to use bogus environmental arguments to undermine abortion rights before, yet when it comes to actual, known sources of pollution and contamination, their party is all about deregulation. The GOP’s hypocrisy is showing.

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Mifepristone has no known environmental harms

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In a March 18, 2026 press release, Miller argued that “more than 50 tons of chemically tainted medical waste—including blood, placental tissue, and human remains—are flushed into U.S. water systems each year as a result of these drugs,” saying the statistic “raises serious concerns about environmental contamination.”

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Miller should know that this is untrue. The New York Times reported in October 2025 that scientists told Republican lawmakers that there is no Environmental Protection Agency-approved way to detect mifepristone in wastewater.

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As supposed evidence to back her claim, Miller cites Students for Life America, a youth group whose mission is to “abolish abortion,” linking to its webpage on so-called “chemical” abortion. The website is full of statistics and graphics about how medications can impact our groundwater.

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Some of that information may be true. Trace amounts of many medications—from antibiotics and antidepressants, to contraceptives and steroids—end up in our water supply. Endocrine disrupters like steroids have been found to decrease fertility in fish and even cause fish to change sexes. Scientists are evaluating concerns that antibiotics in water may increase antibiotic resistance in some bacteria.

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But as the Guttmacher Institute, a policy and research organization specializing in sexual and reproductive health and rights, explains, “there is no evidence to suggest that mifepristone is harming the environment or people’s health.”

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That likely explains why the anti-abortion organization Students for Life cites no sources for its claim that more than 50 tons of chemical waste from abortion ended up in our drinking water in 2024. One video mentions a “first of its kind national study” that found traces of mifepristone in wastewater in several major cities, but I could find no further information about this alleged “study”—not the year, the title, the authors, or anything else.

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That conveniently makes the assertion impossible to investigate or invalidate.

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Mifepristone helps thousands of people, hurts zero fish

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A medication abortion is an alternative to a procedural abortion, meaning either aspiration or dilation and evacuation (D&E). Both of these are typically performed by a health-care provider at a medical facility.

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A patient can also self-manage a medication abortion. There were roughly 642,700 medication abortions in the U.S. in 2023—making up nearly two-thirds of all U.S. abortions that year—according to Guttmacher.

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Here’s how they work: A pregnant person is generally prescribed two drugs. First, they take mifepristone, which stops the pregnancy by blocking progesterone. Between 12 and 24 hours later, they take misoprostol, which causes the uterine to contract so that it can expel the built-up blood and tissue.

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Typically, about one to four hours after taking the second medication, patients will feel cramps and start to bleed, according to Planned Parenthood. Some of what comes out may look like regular menstrual blood, but there will likely also be large blood clots that could be as big as a lemon. The bleeding may last anywhere from a few hours to a few days.

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The embryo will also come out as part of this, though it might not be distinguishable from other tissue depending on how far along the person was in their pregnancy. Medication abortions are only approved up to 10 weeks of pregnancy, so when Miller and her colleagues use phrases like “pre-born baby remains,” in their bill, it’s intentionally misleading. At ten weeks, a fetus weighs about 1.2 ounces and is roughly the size of a prune or small apricot. It is not a baby, and it does not look like a baby.

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A “catch kit,” which Miller wants to force patients to use, is, apparently, a receptacle for medical waste, but I admit I don’t know exactly what that would look like. I once had to collect all of my urine for 24 hours for a kidney test. I basically had to carry around a giant jug with a handle and pee into it whenever I had to go. Medication abortion patients might be given something similar, or they might use something more like the bed pans people use in hospitals. This would be a problem for doctors to solve, I suppose.

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Either way, patients would be required to sit on one of these things or hold it under their vagina for hours to comply with this legislative proposal. (It’s not clear what they would have to do for the next few days, when the bleeding slows but doesn’t entirely stop.) Then, they would have to transfer whatever they “caught” into a medical waste bag or multiple bags. And finally, they would have to take the bag(s) to their provider’s office.

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Don’t fall for it

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Medication abortions have become more popular in recent years as some states restricted abortion access following the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022. They now comprise about 63 percent percent of all abortions nationwide, up from 53 percent in 2020.

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Abortion opponents hate this statistic. But direct attacks on abortion are very unpopular, because as of March 2026, most people in the U.S. support legal abortion in “most” or “all” cases—60 percent nationwide, according to Pew Research. This figure includes 36 percent of Republicans, and with midterms coming, Republican lawmakers are trying to pursue their anti-abortion agenda without alienating voters.

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For years, Republicans have attacked mifepristone from every direction. Most of their assaults have been based on trumped-up safety concerns—false claims that the medication is dangerous, even though decades of research and millions of real world uses worldwide disprove that claim. (Statistically, It’s safer than both Tylenol and Viagra.)

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Now, they’re trying out this environmental tactic. I’m not buying it, and you shouldn’t either. (Friends don’t let friends get propagandized.)

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Historically, Republican lawmakers haven’t given a shit about climate change, species extinction, or air or water quality. And today’s Republican Party is about as intensely anti-environmental as it gets.

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In 2025, the Trump-appointed commissioner of the Environmental Protection Agency—the federal agency tasked with protecting the environment—cut more than 400 grants, including funding designated for improving drinking water in some areas. House GOP members have introduced the PERMIT Act, which would require states to lower water quality standards in the name of being “cost effective.”

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These are not people who care about your drinking water. They are, however, politicians who care very much what goes in—and comes out—of your vagina. And that’s none of their damn business.

The post No, Abortion Pills Are Not Poisoning Your Drinking Water appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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HHS to probe states for “discrimination” over abortion coverage

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The Trump administration announced last week it’s investigating more than a dozen states that require abortion services to be covered by health insurers. An HHS official framed the probe as an attempt to identify whether the states were “discriminating” against insurers by requiring them to cover the care “contrary to conscience.” The move comes amid GOP lawmakers’ escalating attacks on abortion access at the state and federal levels—all while an FDA “review” of the safety of abortion drug mifepristone is pending.

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Olympics officials ban trans women from women’s competitions

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Trans women cannot compete in women’s sports at the 2028 LA Olympics—or ever, the International Olympic Committee decreed yesterday. To ensure they bring only “biological females,” countries must now genetically test their female athletes (and not the men). The IOC said its new rule “protects fairness,” but in the two decades the IOC has allowed trans women athletes to compete, few have; none have medaled. “This is solving for a problem that doesn’t exist,” said Harvard Law Prof. Alejandra Caraballo.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Colorado lawsuit says parental notification law “punishes” girls

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Colorado might be at the epicenter of a creative new way for abortion rights advocates to expand abortion access, Carrie Baker wrote in Ms. Magazine this week. There, a doctor is challenging the state’s parental notification law for abortion care, arguing that it violates the state constitution’s equal rights amendment by disproportionately punishing young girls. “There is this fear … that young women are going to have sex for pleasure, and if [so] … they should pay a price for it,” an attorney from the law firm said.

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The post Government to Investigate States That Require Insurers to Cover Abortion Care appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Government, Investigate, States, That, Require, Insurers, Cover, Abortion, Care", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/reproroundupphoto_2_04.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/27/government-to-investigate-states-that-require-insurers-to-cover-abortion-care/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-30 07:22:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "170238", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The 777 Rule for Marriage: A Good Start — But Gottman’s Research Goes Deeper", "title_slug": "the-777-rule-for-marriage-a-good-start-but-gottmans-research-goes-deeper", "title_hash": "a51de358273dbcdb7344ed3dec34431d", "summary": "The 777 rule for marriage — couple spending intentional time together your marriage! \nThe post The 777 Rule for Marriage: A Good Start — But Gottman’s Research Goes Deeper appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

The 777 rule for marriage — couple spending intentional time together your marriage!

The post The 777 Rule for Marriage: A Good Start — But Gottman’s Research Goes Deeper appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, 777, Rule, for, Marriage:, Good, Start, —, But, Gottman’s, Research, Goes, Deeper", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-1472587968-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/777-rule-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-27 11:49:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "170142", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is Your Game Broken or Has the Market Changed? Navigating the New Era of Conservative Casual Dating", "title_slug": "is-your-game-broken-or-has-the-market-changed-navigating-the-new-era-of-conservative-casual-dating", "title_hash": "eabddff844caef7cac228eaba634f7ad", "summary": "If you’ve felt a shift since 2024, it’s because the market’s changed. The shift to conservative casual dating means younger crowds demand more social value & comfort than ever before.\nHey playas, I’m back! I was busy lurking infield ;) \n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ If you’ve felt a shift since 2024, it’s because the market’s changed. The shift to conservative casual dating means younger crowds demand more social value & comfort than ever before.

Hey playas, I’m back! I was busy lurking infield ;)

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Your, Game, Broken, Has, the, Market, Changed, Navigating, the, New, Era, Conservative, Casual, Dating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/conservative-casual-dating-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/your-game-broken-or-has-market-changed-navigating-new-era-conservative-casual-dating", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-27 11:28:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "169749", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Dated a Woman from the Church, and She Got Pregnant by Angel", "title_slug": "i-dated-a-woman-from-the-church-and-she-got-pregnant-by-angel", "title_hash": "67f72c95bcfb18baa618cd33bc689b02", "summary": "It took her a very long time to accept my proposal because I wasn’t attending her church. According to her, her pastor would be very angry if she went ahead …", "content": "

It took her a very long time to accept my proposal because I wasn’t attending her church. According to her, her pastor would be very angry if she went ahead to date a man outside the church. I loved her, so I persisted. I didn’t only use words to say that I loved her. I backed it with actions and also gifts. I even attended her church on different occasions before she finally said yes.

I understood why her pastor would insist that she marry someone in the church when I attended her church. She played about four roles the times I was there. She couldn’t even get time for me. After church, I had to wait for over an hour before she got the time to attend to me. The last time, she swore to me, but after church, I left with her.

Right from the onset, she wanted to introduce me to her pastor, but I asked her for time. Not that I wasn’t sure about her, but I wasn’t sure about what it would mean to be introduced to her pastor when I hadn’t even met her parents or family.

She insisted. I asked her to take it slowly. Several months after dating, she told me, “If you don’t come to meet Daddy, I would be forced to date someone in the church.” We laughed about it, and I even asked if there was a man in her church who could challenge my love for her. She answered, “No, there’s no one, but let’s do the right thing.”

One day, I attended her church, and she held me by the hand and pulled me to her pastor’s office. A very young and smallish pastor who looked like he was minted only yesterday. According to my girlfriend, the church belonged to his father, and because his father traveled a lot, he had become the overseer of the church. You know these one-man churches.

When she introduced me to the pastor, she said, “Daddy, this is the man I said had been chasing me around. I’m waiting for your blessings before I can start anything with him.”

We had dated for months. We’d had sex and dreams. There was nothing people in a relationship do that we hadn’t done. After the introduction, she winked at me to corroborate. He asked me, “Young man, are you serious about my daughter?” I nodded. He asked, “Are you following her to the church, or did you come to visit us?” I answered, “I haven’t decided, but I like it here, so maybe someday.”

He went on and on, telling me why they don’t allow their ladies to marry from outside and why it was important for the man and woman to belong to the same faith. While talking to us, another pastor joined. He was called Angel. He started asking hard questions about my life: “What work do you do?” “Don’t you have women in the church you belong to?” “Do you have kids with another woman that you didn’t accept responsibility for?”

When I finally left the office with her, I told her that was the last time she would see me in her church. I didn’t mind her being in that church, but there was no way I was going to join her.

Our relationship was close to a year old when she got pregnant. She was scared, but I was calm. She didn’t know what to do, but I knew what we were going to do. We had come a long way, and I was very sure about her. She had met my parents, and I also knew her parents. The two of us had agreed we would attend our individual churches when we got married. She even told me she was sure, along the line, she would join mine.

I told her, “Let’s get married. Let’s do something quickly before it begins to show.” She jumped and hugged me, thanking me for not putting her to shame.

We quickly met her parents and told them what had happened and added that we wanted to marry as soon as possible before the pregnancy began to show. They gave us their blessing and gave me a list of things to buy to marry her. It was very moderate, something I could stand on my feet and get in a day.

I think a week after the knocking rite, she spent a night at my place and forgot to take her phone. I didn’t notice it until I saw it ringing. When I picked it up, she said, “Yes, I wanted to be sure I left it there. I’m coming back for it.” I told her to go to the office and that I would pass by to deliver the phone to her. She said no, that she expected important calls.

Right after talking to her, a call came through from a name saved as Pastor Angel. I knew him, so I chuckled and put the phone down. He didn’t stop calling. Later, he started texting. In one of the notifications on her screen, he said, “Why are you not picking my calls? I hope it’s not because of that your silly boyfriend?”

“Is it me he’s calling silly?”

Another message in her notification read, “Since last night, I’ve been calling you. I’ll inform Daddy about your behavior.”

I waited for her to come to pick up her phone. When she arrived, I opened it and snatched it from her. It turned into a fight—a physical struggle—until I overpowered her and locked myself in the bathroom. She nearly broke the door, but by the time I came out, I had seen what I wanted to see. She stood there shaking. “Why are you reading my messages? Have I ever done that to you? Why would you do that?”

She could see clearly that I was shaking. In a conversation she had a day before, Pastor Angel was claiming the baby and had even threatened to collapse our marriage if we went ahead and got married without acknowledging him as the father of the baby she was carrying. My girlfriend sent a voice note telling him the baby had nothing to do with him, so he should stand aside before he embarrassed himself.

“Who is the pregnancy for?” I asked.

She burst into tears, saying I had read the messages out of context, so I should give her time to tell me the truth. She said Angel forced himself on her one day when she went to his house to serve him. He had wanted to marry her long ago, and she didn’t agree. It was the reason he did that, and she swore the baby was mine.

I told her father what I had discovered. I called Angel (I won’t add “pastor” to his name) and told him he could have her now that he had impregnated her.

Fast forward, we agreed on a DNA test to determine who the real father was. In February, everything came to an end. The child was indeed for Angel. It was also a lie when she said Angel forced himself on her. They had a thing going on even before I came into the picture, but she didn’t want to marry a pastor and also didn’t like Angel’s educational background. That’s why she allowed herself to sleep with him but didn’t want to marry him.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I sprayed powder on my heart for the victory and wished her well. I told myself, “I should have known.” In my next attempt at love, I will avoid every woman who is married to the church. They are married to the church for a reason.

—Sasraku

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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After four years of dating, he woke up one day and launched another woman who was heavily pregnant on his WhatsApp status and captioned it, “We just had a baby.”

My phone kept ringing consistently while I was bathing. I was angry that someone would keep calling when the calls were not being picked up. I came out and saw Sabina’s call. When I picked up, she screamed, “When did you break up with Don that he’s launching his pregnant wife?”

“Don? He was here just last night. What are you talking about?”

She quickly sent me the screenshot she took and said, “This is what I just saw on his status.”

I checked his status, and he hadn’t posted anything. I called Sabina. “But he hasn’t posted anything, so how did you see this?” She responded, “Oh, I just checked, and it has been deleted. Check the time I took the screenshot. That was less than fifteen minutes ago.”

I called Don, and I immediately knew something was wrong from the way he answered. I asked, “Who is that you posted on your status a moment ago, and why have you deleted it?” He answered, “I haven’t posted anything.” I sent the screenshot to him, and he never called back or picked up my calls.

Later in the evening, he called. He said, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I didn’t know how to say it. She got pregnant, and my parents are forcing me to marry her. That’s the problem.”

I screamed, “You didn’t know how to say it to me, but you decided to say it to the world that you had a baby with her?” He answered calmly, “I’m not the one who posted it. She took my phone and posted it herself. I didn’t know until you shared it with me.”

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

We’ve dated for four years, and I didn’t know his phone’s password, but another woman had it. That showed my place in his life and the fact that he didn’t take me seriously. I’ve been heartbroken since then. My family is asking him to pay nkwasiabuo sika to me, but I don’t want it. He didn’t make me a fool. I made myself that big fool. I’ll nurse this pain slowly until there’s nothing left, but I know one thing for sure: he won’t go unpunished.

—Agnes

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All through my life, I have been the kind of lover who held on to love even when it was over. It came naturally to me. I always went back.

I’ve been seriously dating Edwin for close to three years now. We’ve grown together, encouraged each other, fallen, risen, and held on to our love.

The constant reason we fought was that he never took me to where he lived. Anytime we wanted to spend time alone, he came to my place. When I asked why, he’d say, “My grandma doesn’t like you. Not you, but where you come from is a problem. So let’s keep this low-key till we figure a way.” It sounded reasonable, so I agreed. Then I spoke to his mom, but we lost contact after a month.

Edwin looked like a saint on the outside, but on the inside, when it was just me and him, he started growing abusive toward me. He called me names: “evil woman,” “witch,” “greedy.” All this because he found out I was still friends with Benedict, my ex-boyfriend. Benedict was just my friend. We outgrew each other and stayed friends. According to him, that’s why he never trusted me.

Then, I did a grave thing

So, he started dismissing my feelings. He ignored me until it suited him to talk. Every day felt like I was dating my enemy, an enemy who made a conscious effort to see me hurt. I cried to him. I prayed to God to give me patience and capacity, and I apologized for the smallest things, like calling him at a time he felt wasn’t right. I was weak and exhausted from what had become our routine.

One day, we had a huge argument. It triggered me to do one of the many things I had promised myself not to return to. I packed my bags, and I traveled to Kwesi’s place. He was also a friend. I went with the intention to talk to him. He knew men better than I did, could explain why Edwin was doing what he was doing to me. Before I knew it, the night passed, and we ended up sleeping together. I didn’t even realize when it was happening. It just happened.

Guilt ate me up so much I couldn’t sleep or eat until I told him. I told him about my daddy issues. Told him everything.

He wants a breakup, for us to part ways and pretend that we didn’t spend years loving and doting on each other.

I’ve been begging Edwin to forgive me. I didn’t stop loving him when I was in Kwesi’s bed. I was just emotionally exhausted. I needed a place to clear my head because I had been holding too much inside, especially against him. He kept dismissing our troubles even when they were right in front of him.

I know the relationship won’t be the same again, even if he gives us a chance. But I’ll take my chance. And even if we pass this test, what shows that his family will finally get to see past my tribe and accept me as his wife? But, when we get there we will cross the bridge.

I’m sorry for hurting him the way I did, and for hurting the other men I’ve been with. I’ve cheated almost every time I’ve had problems in a relationship, not because I love sex or anything like that, but because I crave the feeling of belonging to someone.

I have daddy issues, and that is why I don’t havr to feel ignored. Otherwise, it triggers the part of me that fears abandonment, and I go back to whoever is available for comfort.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

Edwin, if you read this, know that we have been through the worst and toughest times and always bounced back stronger. Remember our sacrifices. Don’t you remember what we’ve been through? Two terminations. I put my life on the line for you. After everything, surely you can’t just leave me hanging like this.

Please, do think about what it took for us to get here.

Hmm, maybe you can help me apologize to him. He may have a change of heart.

—Sheri

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#SB<>

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Six years into our relationship, my boyfriend traveled abroad. When he broke the news to me, I was flooded with so many emotions I couldn’t decipher what to call them. But it was his dream, so I blessed it and supported him in every way I could.

Then, six months ago, I drove Addo to the airport for his flight abroad. While I was happy for the opportunity he had, I was saddened by the fact that I couldn’t see him whenever I pleased. I was worried about what would become of us.

At the airport, he promised me “My parents will come to see yours by December. We’ll finalize things so that we get married.” I asked him if he meant it. He crossed his heart. He gave his word, and I held on to it tightly.

When he got there, he called. We talked all day that day and the days that followed. He started sending me some money. I have a job and had no need for his money, especially since he had just moved there, but he said it was no bother. After some time, I got comfortable and mocked the little voices in my head that said that was going to be the end of us.

He was happy. I was happy. I was smiling every day. Now, all I needed from him was marriage. I was scared to bring up the topic again since he had made the promise, but we never revisited it.

When I tried to talk about it, he said I was nagging too much. So one day, I told him, “I can’t put all my eggs in one basket. Do with that information what you want.” My intention was to rile him up and get him to fast-track our marriage process, but it did nothing except create a barrier whenever we talked about marriage.

We can talk about everything and anything, but mention marriage and he goes quiet or pretends the network is bad.

Addo is now telling me that I messed up his proposal plans. “I had everything planned, but what you said changed my mind.” What did I say? And then he refers me to the time I mentioned that I can’t put all my eggs in one basket.

I wasn’t even lying. I said what I said. Or am I wrong?

He’s coming down in March.“We’ll talk about it when I return, so let’s push the marriage topic aside. We’ll see the way forward when I come.”

Six years is a long time to know someone and do the right things. We are adults. He is 37 and I am 29 years old. We are both doing well in our fields, so if I may ask, what is the delay? After six years, if he has any intention of marrying me, this shouldn’t be his response. Besides, shouldn’t he be the one asking when he can meet my people?

Ask me, why don’t I just leave? But it’s not that easy. He makes it impossible for me to leave him. Throughout our years of dating, I have tried several times to leave him because even though I know he loves me by his actions, I don’t think he wants to marry me. And it breaks every inch of my heart that a man I have loved for so long is going to treat me like this.

I’m prepared for what may come. I fear it too. But I try to look at the bright side. Some men meet women and marry them within a month or two, while others find it hard to do so.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

So this is my question to the guys: Why do you hold on to someone you have no intention of marrying? What do you gain from wasting a woman’s time?

Hmm.

—Tabi

#SB<>

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The relationship was very toxic and sometimes abusive. He beat me twice and got my lips swollen, and then he gave me ice to place on my lips. That was his behavior—hot and cold every day. So one day, I called him on the phone and told him I couldn’t keep up with the relationship anymore.

He called to ask why, and I told him I was emotionally drained and scared in a place where love was supposed to be felt. He asked me to come home so we could talk about it. I didn’t go. Several days of begging later, I decided to go and listen to what he had to say, though I knew in my heart it was over.

I got there, and he told me it wasn’t over. Before I could say a word, he held me by the ribs, carried me, and threw me into his bedroom and locked the door. He screamed, “You’re not coming out until you tell me it’s not over.”

I was in there crying and begging him to open the door when I heard the sound of a door lock followed by the sound of his car engine. I was scared. Where was he going? Was he going to get something to come and hurt me? His window is the sliding type with burglar-proof bars that can be rolled and locked. I opened the burglar proof, pushed it aside, and contorted my body in a way I could pass through it.

Lucky for me, I succeeded. I quickly ran out of the house, leaving my phone and my bag there. I didn’t go home. I was scared he would come around, and my mom wouldn’t be able to protect me. I went to my elder brother’s house and told him everything. He said we should report it to the police. I begged him not to, at least for the time being.

Around 10 p.m., I used my brother’s phone to call my number, and he picked up. He was shouting, telling me he was on his way to my house. My brother said, “Let’s go and meet him there.”

He called my other brother, and a few minutes after we got there, he came and parked in front of my house. My mom couldn’t separate the fight. I couldn’t ask my brothers to stop. It took the whole community to stop my two brothers from finishing him, and then they later reported it to the police as self-defense.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

He spent three days at the hospital. His family came in to beg so we could take the issue from the police and settle it at home. Recently, we met at a shop. Immediately he saw me, he shivered, then went behind the next aisle and disappeared. I smiled. It felt good. Like I was the boss.

—Sarah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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Sometimes, a “routine” medical appointment is anything but.

A wheelchair-bound patient arrives for their annual mammogram, only to discover she must stand to complete the exam. A patient in a larger body makes an appointment with their gynecologist and is told the exam table is too small for them to sit on.

These are just some of the issues that disabled and bigger-bodied patients can have at medical appointments.

“I think [people without disabilities] would be shocked to see what we go through in … health-care spaces,” said Syanne Centeno-Bloom, a disability rights activist, adding, “That leads to a lot of people not seeking care.”

The updated Department of Justice guidelines—issued in August 2024—requiring accessible medical diagnostic equipment to be available in all government-funded health facilities; the deadline to fix these problems is August 9, 2026.

In practice, however, accessibility compliance is not heavily enforced at the federal level. Americans with Disabilities Act requirements often rely on private lawsuits or complaints filed by patients to enact, rather than on federal oversight. State governments are also tasked with enforcement.

Now, as the August deadline approaches, advocates say implementation is lagging. Some reproductive and sexual health clinics nationwide are adopting more inclusive equipment, if slowly. But weak enforcement mechanisms mean progress is uneven across states, and that could present a long-term problem for disabled patients’ reproductive health.

‘There’s a dignity issue’

According to a 2024 academic study published before the new accessibility rules were issued, fewer than 40 percent of medical offices had disability-accessible examination tables or weight scales.

Centeno-Bloom, a model and disability rights activist with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), endometriosis, osteoporosis, and several immunodeficiencies, has experienced the results firsthand.

“Most places don’t have the exam tables that you can be weighed on,” she told RNG, referring to dual-use tables that allow patients to be weighed and examined in the same place.

They eliminate the need for multiple transfers between different medical equipment, reducing patients’ potential for injury and embarrassment. Inaccessible equipment that does not cater to wheelchair patients can result in incorrect positioning during operations and positioning injuries that affect the skin, joints, ligaments, and bones.

In some instances, Centeno-Bloom said, staff have elevated adjustable exam tables for prior appointments and then “don’t put it back down for me … I end up having to climb up,” she said. “They don’t offer assistance.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports accessibility problems across the health-care industry. But reproductive health settings may be uniquely consequential due to the physically intimate nature of gynecological examinations.

For example, a lack of lift exam tables or adjustable tables can make it difficult for physicians to properly examine patients.

“You’ll start an exam and you’ll realize they’re too far up or … down,” one doctor told researchers in a 2023 study on gynecological care for disabled women, describing logistical difficulties during the gynecologic examination. “Patients who have contractures, it’s really hard to just get the legs to physically open up…”

Another study published that same year concluded that female patients with disabilities hit more stumbling blocks when trying to access reproductive health services than non-disabled patients. Inaccessible medical equipment can cause patients to miss or delay the routine appointments that both allow early detection of reproductive health issues and deepen the relationship between provider and patient.

“These limitations can slow down or delay care for people in need of contraception, prenatal care, abortion care, and routine screenings,” Dr. Michael Chichak, a physician at the online mental health treatment platform MEDvidi, told RNG.

Many patients experience anxiety at the doctor’s office. For disabled or larger patients, adding this kind of emotional distress from inaccessible equipment can leave them feeling like they’re being indirectly judged.

“There’s a dignity issue as well, in addition to the logistics issue,” Chichak said. “If the space feels like it was not created for patients to enjoy, that may discourage them from returning.”

Research from the National Institutes of Health suggests that assistive technology and medical equipment can significantly influence the psychological well-being of such patients.

As Centeno-Bloom put it: “Why would you want to go somewhere where you are caused more pain in a lot of cases than you are helped?”

Long road to disability justice

The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) has broadly prohibited disability discrimination in health care since 1990. In August 2024, the Department of Justice finalized its updated regulation for Title II of the ADA, a specific regulation of ADA implementation that requires nondiscrimination by all state and local government-run entities.

Following that Biden-era regulatory update, the ADA National Network—which provides guidance and training on implementing the landmark disability law—laid out specific medical diagnostic equipment standards.

All public health clinics, emergency rooms, and hospitals are among the places that must soon have at least one examination table that is adjustable, rather than traditional setups that can be difficult for patients with mobility limitations. These facilities must also offer a weight scale that allows patients to be weighed while in their wheelchairs, and mammography and X-ray equipment that accommodates patients who are unable to stand.

Government-run facilities can establish baseline standards for the rest of the industry to follow, and some private facilities are already beginning to implement more accessible equipment.

The Von Voigtlander Women’s Hospital, a part of University of Michigan Health, offers dedicated care for women with disabilities. It features height-adjustable exam tables and staff trained to assist patients with mobility challenges like safe transfers.

Other health systems have made similar improvements, including the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and the University of Alabama-Birmingham Medicine.

While these changes are not yet standard across the health-care system, they offer a glimpse into what the future of accessible health care could look like.

“There would be less friction, and access to care would just be more seamless,” Jillian MacLeod, a staff attorney at the Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund, said.

Two in 5 have disabilities

Such changes wouldn’t just benefit patients needing reproductive care, but many millions seeking all types of medical care in the U.S.

Two in 5 adults over the age of 65 have a disability, including mobility challenges, according to the CDC. Having readily available accessible medical equipment could help make routine appointments less traumatic for elderly patients.

Disability is also more common in certain demographic groups that already face acute barriers to health care, according to the CDC, including women, Native Americans, and people who live in poverty. Inaccessible medical equipment exacerbates these inequalities.

Without updated figures from the federal government, it’s unclear how many clinics nationwide will have acquired accessible medical equipment when the DOJ’s regulation timeline ends in August 2026.

There are many reasons why uptake might be slow beyond weak federal enforcement mechanisms, Chichak suggested, including cost. Accessible medical equipment like height-adjustable exam tables can cost thousands of dollars more than traditional, static exam tables.

“Even clinics that genuinely want to improve access face the pressures of limited budgets and space, and upgrading equipment is more complex than it appears,” Chichak said.

‘Big gap in awareness’ of disability health

MacLeod and Centeno-Bloom both linked the uneven implementation of the DOJ’s accessibility rule to not only the lack of federal oversight but also to generally poor knowledge of the rights and health needs of disabled and larger-bodied patients.

MacLeod recalled a training session she led for around 90 clinic staff who provided reproductive health care. When she polled the participants to find out their levels of familiarity with disability rights laws, nearly three-quarters said that they were not familiar at all. Twenty-eight percent said that they were somewhat familiar with the topic.

“There’s a really big gap in awareness and knowledge,” Macleod said.

Centeno-Bloom agrees that provider attitude and awareness are some of the biggest obstacles to implementation. But so is perspective, she said.

“They’re lacking input from the disabled community,” she said.

The updated federal rules mark a significant step toward reducing structural barriers to basic reproductive care. But their success depends on near-universal implementation..

For Centeno-Bloom, that success also means including disabled people in how their own health care is designed and delivered.

“If you’re out of sight and mind,” she said. “Nothing’s going to change if they’re speaking for us and not just giving us the ability to speak for ourselves—not only have a seat at the table—but actually be heard.”

The post As Deadline Looms, Many Public Health-Care Facilities Still Lack Accessible Medical Equipment appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", Deadline, Looms, Many, Public, Health-Care, Facilities, Still, Lack, Accessible, Medical, Equipment", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/2026-Accessibility-Deadline-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/25/disabled-patients-accessible-equipment/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-26 11:05:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "169405", "lang_id": "1", "title": "We Did the Reading. Fascism Came Anyway (Podcast)", "title_slug": "we-did-the-reading-fascism-came-anyway-podcast", "title_hash": "b5e8524bc532d530c819a767199c1863", "summary": "The education was real. The learning was real. So why didn't institutions move? Imani doesn't have a clean answer. That's the whole point.\nThe post We Did the Reading. Fascism Came Anyway (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The most informed progressive public in American history is watching a fascist takeover in real time. In her first solo episode, Imani Gandy wants to know why. From Black Twitter to the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act dying in the Senate twice, she builds the argument—and then pokes holes in it herself. She doesn’t have a clean answer. That’s why she’s asking.

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The post We Did the Reading. Fascism Came Anyway (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", Did, the, Reading., Fascism, Came, Anyway, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/B_L-Podcast-Web-Thumb-06.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/26/we-did-the-reading-fascism-came-anyway-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-26 11:05:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "169021", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is your partner experiencing cognitive overload?", "title_slug": "is-your-partner-experiencing-cognitive-overload", "title_hash": "1d2bd3fe51a43c81b7ded9e571e470c7", "summary": "Cognitive overload in relationships — when the brain shuts down during conflict\nThe post Is your partner experiencing cognitive overload? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Cognitive overload in relationships — when the brain shuts down during conflict

The post Is your partner experiencing cognitive overload? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", your, partner, experiencing, cognitive, overload", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-2228654231-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/cognitive-overload/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-26 10:41:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "168898", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Questioning Her Sexuality (for Frigid Girls)", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-questioning-her-sexuality-for-frigid-girls", "title_hash": "e05987ac2a300d597959a01774a64fc5", "summary": "Girl stays frigid despite your best efforts? Nothing you do seems to get her flirty or sexual? Time to break out the big guns: question her sexuality!\nI’m going to give you a slightly advanced routine here that you can use for sexually frigid girls, after you reach the point in the interaction where they should long have warmed up to you but they still have not.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"frigid$ Girl stays frigid despite your best efforts? Nothing you do seems to get her flirty or sexual? Time to break out the big guns: question her sexuality!

I’m going to give you a slightly advanced routine here that you can use for sexually frigid girls, after you reach the point in the interaction where they should long have warmed up to you but they still have not.

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", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Questioning, Her, Sexuality, for, Frigid, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/questioning-her-sexuality-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-questioning-her-sexuality-frigid-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-26 10:27:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "168609", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Every Woman I’ve Loved Left Me Because of My Size", "title_slug": "every-woman-ive-loved-left-me-because-of-my-size", "title_hash": "17ba203d69137071e62d6d3bc098f800", "summary": "All my relationships have ended because of my size. Some of the women didn’t say it, but from their demeanor and how the breakups happened, I could tell it was …", "content": "

All my relationships have ended because of my size. Some of the women didn’t say it, but from their demeanor and how the breakups happened, I could tell it was the reason. Even those who told me size didn’t matter found a way to leave me eventually.

I’m not a bad person. Yes, I have insecurities because of that, but I try to man up and face every challenge in my way. When it comes to relationships, I won’t brag that I do everything, but I do my best. I stay away from trouble, but when trouble comes, I find a way to resolve it.

I don’t have a girlfriend now, but a man has to be a man, so sometimes I go out there and pay to spend a night with a woman. Those girls don’t judge you. They get their money and off they go until a few weeks ago, when I met a lady with a typical Nigerian accent.

She mentioned twice the normal amount, and I negotiated fiercely with her. She said I would be a stingy boyfriend. I told her I pay what I ought to pay. We got inside, and immediately she saw it, she burst out laughing. She didn’t allow all the laughter to escape; she swallowed half of it and then coughed.

She said, amidst smiles, “I see why you insisted on paying half my charge. I see.”

I froze, even before I understood she was body-shaming me. I started putting my clothes back on. She was still laughing inside her throat, all the while apologizing. “I’m so sorry. I’m a bad person, I know. I’m so, so sorry. Oh God, why am I laughing?”

Before I walked out the door, she said I was throwing money away if that was all I had. “You pay to use this? Oga, why are you wasting money?”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

Now it looks like I’ve been abandoned by the earth and the skies. Girlfriends leave. Where I pay to have a little fun is also making a mockery of me. Maybe God gave me this so I could see it as a sign to become a Catholic priest, but I missed the call. Look at me now.

—Raynold

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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We are both twenty-eight. We are in love. We finish each other’s sentences. The world fades when we are together. It feels simple, like we were made for each other. I have known him since we were children, so loving him came easily, naturally.

We are planning to walk down the altar soon. I have been introduced to his family, his friends, his pastor. Everything I am supposed to know about him, I think I do. He has met my mother. That day, She welcomed him warmly, called him her son. But immediately he left, she squeezed her face the rest of the day. She called me at dawn interrogating me

“This man you want to marry, do you think you’d be happy?” she asked.

I have experienced him. He is kind. I nodded, and said yes.

“Okay, but you want to marry a man that does not have money? Can you see your mates? You want to wallow in poverty forever?”

She said all she had to say and left, asking me to think carefully about it.

My mother knows about the men who have been in life. The many men who have come into my life with money, some I did not even understand what they wanted from me. Clearly, I should not have been their spec, yet they came. So she does not understand why I am choosing to do life with AB. She does not see him the way I do. The man he is becoming, the man he intends to be, she doubts it.

And somehow she planted that doubt in me too.

AB is conservative. He is everything society wants. He stays in his father’s house, but there are plans, plans to move to a place of our own. He doesn’t have it all but he does have all my heart. Even with the little he earns, he gives me when necessary. He gives because he is.

He is trying. I am trying too. Trying not to see things from my mother’s view and just marry this man that I love very much.

My sisters want a wealthy brother-in-law. My mother wants a wealthy son-in-law. Everyone is expecting me to put an end to this charade of planning a marriage with a man who doesn’t have money. Expectations here and there. My head is heavy with decisions I need to make.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

Am I not wrong to choose love, right? Even when it feels heavy, even if he marries someone else one day, at the end of the day I loved. And it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I am not stupid for not listening to my mother, right? I mean her concerns are valid, but what about my happiness and my love? She can go and marry a wealthy man for herself. I’ll be fine, right?

Tell me will I be?

—Dzie

#SB<>

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A year ago, I met him at an event. Throughout the event, he chased me around asking for my number. I tried not to mind him, but then a friend I knew approached him and they spoke happily. It was that friend who convinced me to give my number to him because he wasn’t a bad man. He said he was Teddy and was from the UK.

He sounded like telling me he was from the UK should make me shiver and give him my number. It was the reason I didn’t want to, but this friend came along and said, “Don’t you know him? Check his Instagram. He’s a great philanthropist.”

After giving him my number and on my way home, I checked his Instagram. He was doing a marvelous job with communities in need. He had an NGO that sent relief items to villages to cater for the poor and the needy. Not only that, he fed street kids and was all about giving. I fell in love with that aspect of his life, so when he later called, I asked him what motivated him to do all that.

He talked about love for people and also said he had been poor and needy before, so he knew the pain and suffering those people go through. That was why he was giving back to them to reduce their suffering. I commended him greatly, and he even invited me to the next one, which I gladly attended with him.

It felt like home, talking to these people and seeing the happiness on their faces when you give them something small. It shifted my perspective about gratitude to God, and I cried on my way home. He put his hand around me and consoled me. He said it was okay—at least we tried to help them.

I could share their story because I also come from a place of need. I’d suffered and was still suffering. There had come a time when I relied heavily on the benevolence of friends and strangers to get by. When I was in school, I begged and even did crazier things just to be able to raise my school fees. Looking at them reminded me of myself, and it hurt so badly.

Teddy and I became lovers. It happened naturally because I was in love with what he was doing and what he stood for. I was happy to do it with him, so I went out with him often and did this work. Through it, he proposed, and I said yes. He said he realized how passionate I was about the work and said he would like to leave the NGO in my hands while he was away so I could continue the job for him.

We spent two months together. I was basically living with him in his house. The house belonged to a friend who was also in the UK, so anytime he came around, he used that house—a very nice, beautiful house.

After spending months with him and he had left, I realized I was pregnant. When I called to tell him, he sent me 100 pounds and asked me to get rid of it, which I did. The day I told him I had done it and was in pain, that very day he stopped talking to me. I sent him messages and voice notes, but he ignored all of them. Some of the people he helped had come to know me, so they called, giving me messages to pass to him, but this guy never responded. He read my messages and left me on blue tick.

I was in pain for several weeks—both physical and emotional. While I bled through severe cramps, my heart also bled through abandonment. For over a year, I didn’t hear from him. I had moved on and was living my life.

I hit a very hard patch in life where my landlord was threatening to eject me if I didn’t pay my rent that very week. I had owed him for three months, and he was no longer laughing with me. From my left to my right, I had no one to help me. I owed friends and family. Aside from that, the job I was doing didn’t pay much, yet they were deducting a loan I had taken from them. I was suffering.

I made a sad post on my WhatsApp status, asking God questions and asking myself why I was alive only to go through suffering. Teddy came to respond and asked what the problem was. I knew he would hear my problem and help me because he was that man who went to villages to help people. That aside, he owed me an apology for ghosting me after I had gone through a painful process for him.

I told him my problem, and he told me to get a loan from whoever I could get it from because he was on his way to Ghana the next week, and when he was in Ghana, he would settle that loan. Instead of looking for a loan, which I knew would be very difficult to get, I confidently went to my landlord and told him what Teddy had told me. When he didn’t believe me, I put Teddy on the line, and he spoke to him sweetly: “I would have sent you the money right now, but I’m on my way to Ghana and everything is arranged. Just next week and I will pay.”

After all that, he asked me to forgive him for the ghosting because he also hit a rough patch in the UK and needed to hide for his own mental health. My help cometh from him, so I forgave him as if what he did didn’t hurt.

A week later, he was in Ghana. I packed my things and went to live with him again. I made his meals and also became a meal to him. I warmed his water and also warmed his bed. I was his wife while he was here. Every evening, he would take me to expensive restaurants to eat, and I would complain, “Why are we wasting all this money when there’s food at home?”

He was in Ghana for three weeks, and I was with him through it all. Whenever I asked him about the money, he said tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I needed to go home for a few days to pack new clothes and come back. He told me he would be traveling the next day, so I should rather come two days later. The next thing I knew, he was back in the UK.

He has stopped picking up my calls, and my landlord is back at me again. Currently, I don’t sleep in that house. I move from one friend to another and back to the friend I started with, crashing on their couch or in their hall. I won’t be surprised if I go back to the house tomorrow and find my things outside the room.

My friends say I should call him out on social media. I am poor, but I am not shameless. One suggested I should follow her to her hometown; there’s a god who handles such issues, and within a week, Teddy would call and give me the money. I told her, “He doesn’t owe me. He only promised to give, and he didn’t. How can I take him that far?”

She asked, “Didn’t he sleep with you after the promise? Didn’t you cook for him? Didn’t you warm his bed and his food? My friend, he owes you—let’s go and collect it.”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I’m tempted to follow this friend out of spite and pain, and when I get there, I won’t only ask for the money. I would also seek his downfall. I believe I’m not the only one he has done this to. He does it to people in vulnerable situations. If he’s down and begging, he won’t have the time to prey on people like us.

—Lulu

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I got home from work and saw my mother-in-law sitting in the hall. I greeted her and entered the bedroom. While entering, I looked back and saw her picking something from the floor and pushing it under her bra. It just flashed in my view, so I didn’t think much of it until I was going to work the next morning and realized the money I brought home was no longer where I thought I had placed it.

I asked my wife about it, and she said she hadn’t seen the money. I started a mental journey backward from the time I was coming home from work just to see if I’d dropped the money somewhere. Then I landed at the exact moment I saw my wife’s mother picking something from the floor and pushing it down her bra.

I told my wife, “It might have fallen somewhere around here. Ask your mother if she has seen it.” She said she wasn’t sure because if she had, she would have notified any of us. I insisted, and she did. The woman shook her head aggressively while brushing her palms against each other and saying, “Me? Nooo, I haven’t seen anything around here. I would have told you if I did.”

I didn’t say anything. I went to the office and came back. When my mother-in-law was in the bath, I entered her room and did some searching. The money was exactly as I had arranged it and was tucked safely under her pillow. I took a photo of it and showed it to my wife. “This is the money she said she hadn’t seen.”

I thought my wife and I were allies, so telling her something like this wasn’t anything. She protested. “Where did you see the money?” I told her. She retorted, “And you think you’re the only one on earth who has money? My mom can’t have money because your money is missing?”

I defended myself. “Dear, this is my money, exactly the way I arranged it, and it’s the same amount I found under her pillow.”

She went out there and told her mother that I said she had stolen my money. The woman broke down in tears. “Kofi, I’ve been here for almost one year helping you take care of your baby, and you now say I’ve stolen your money?”

I got angry too and laid out the facts as I knew them. “This money was under your pillow, and it’s my money. I know my money and how it looks.”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

She said her son abroad sent her mobile money, and she went to withdraw it. Fine—show me the vendor you withdrew the money from. That was where the argument ended. She has packed out of the house, and now my wife is blaming me. She said I’ve disrespected and embarrassed her mom, and she’ll find it hard to forgive me.

Am I wrong for insisting on my right when both of them wanted to make my truth look like a lie?

", "keywords": ", Mother-in-Law, Stole, Money, and, Now, Marriage, Paying, for", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/freepik__expand__8604.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-mother-in-law-stole-my-money-and-my-marriage-is-paying-for-it/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-25 04:03:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "168605", "lang_id": "1", "title": "It’s My Wife’s Appearance That’s Destroying Our Marriage", "title_slug": "its-my-wifes-appearance-thats-destroying-our-marriage", "title_hash": "3b6c7cad9cdc6fcd9c1a08fde42e3dc6", "summary": "My wife thinks I’m cheating on her. I see her trying to sneak around, looking for evidence to back her claim, and I feel sorry for her—sorry that I’m putting …", "content": "

My wife thinks I’m cheating on her. I see her trying to sneak around, looking for evidence to back her claim, and I feel sorry for her—sorry that I’m putting her through all this stress when I could just communicate my feelings. But it’s not easy to say what is really bothering me. It’s a sensitive topic. It could crush her, maybe even ruin our marriage, and I’m not ready to take that kind of risk.

She is a very smart, beautiful woman, yet I can’t bring myself to be with her. It’s not her fault, but I can’t take all the blame either.

We are now in the fourth year of our marriage, and everything about my wife has changed. All the things I once admired, her beauty, her figure, the way she dressed, have changed. Nothing is the same. When I look at her now, I see a stranger, a faint shadow of the woman she used to be, and she is only in her thirties

I have a specific taste. We all do. There’s something I need to see and feel to feel complete as a man that I am. She didn’t exactly have it, but I looked at her and told myself, “You can’t lose a good woman because of one small thing.”

I am attracted to flat stomach. She didn’t have the kind of stomach I was drawn to, a flat one with abs that I could just easily fold my hands around, but she was amazing, and it didn’t make sense to let her slip through my fingers. I even convinced myself that maybe after childbirth, things would somehow fall into place.

We have our rainbow baby now, a beautiful baby girl, after losing a set of twins in our first pregnancy. They were almost in their third trimester when we lost them one hot afternoon. That period stretched us thin. It stretched her even more. Her stomach had grown so much it scared me, like it might burst open. After the D&C procedure, her body changed in ways I wasn’t prepared for. She looked like some of the women you see in the market, a stomach that seemed to have layers and full of wide stretch marks. I hated that I noticed it that way, but time passed, and slowly her body tried to return to what it used to be. Not the same thing but I worked with it.

Our child is almost three now, and my wife’s stomach is worse than it was. Bigger than I ever imagined, and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. She had a cesarean section, and we couldn’t even try certain things early on because of the healing. I understood that then. I really did.

But now, two years later, I keep asking myself—shouldn’t there have been some change? Some effort? I’m not saying I don’t love her. I loved her before all this, loved her through both pregnancies, gave her time to heal before even thinking about anything else. But I am attracted to a flat stomach. It does something to me.

Right now, I can’t even look at her properly. She walks into the living room, sits beside me, and I suddenly remember a call I need to take. At night, our intimacy is dead, quiet like a cemetery. I try, I really do, but nothing in me responds. And you know how attraction works.

I’ve encouraged myself so many times, but the truth is, my body doesn’t respond anymore. Not even a little.

I don’t know how to tell her. How do you even say something like that? “Your stomach is the reason I can’t be intimate with you.” It sounds cruel, even in my own head. Sometimes she asks questions: “Why am I not attractive anymore?” “Baby, is there anything wrong with me? Why have you not touched me? Is it my stomach?” And I dodge them because I don’t know how to confirm her worst fears.

At first, I thought maybe it was just me. Stress, maybe. But when I step outside and see women with flat stomachs, my body reacts immediately. And I don’t want to cheat on my wife. She’s a good woman. She went through surgery to give us a child. This is not her fault.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

But because of this, I can’t satisfy her. It’s affecting her, and now she thinks I’m cheating, when I can’t even bring myself to do it.

I’ve thought about solutions. The gym, but from what I’ve read, after a C-section it’s not always straightforward if not done carefully. Then there’s surgery, a tummy tuck, but that costs between 50,000 to 80,000 cedis. I don’t have that kind of money. If I did, I would take her there myself, just to have some peace. I’ve even seen her trying herbal medicines and drinking all sorts of concoctions, but nothing seems to be working

Because right now, I’m fighting something deep inside me. It’s frustrating. All this energy with nowhere to go. It’s eating me up slowly. I want my wife, I really do, but the moment I get close, everything in me just shuts down.

Anyone with real knowledge or experience, help me. I feel like I’m losing myself and my marriage. I am not the man who hates his wife, it is whatever it is that is wrong with me

—Taller

#SB<>

", "keywords": "It’s, Wife’s, Appearance, That’s, Destroying, Our, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/symptoms-jet-lag-african-american-couple-arriving-destination-feeling-sleepy-exhausted-tourists-man-woman-resting-sleeping-comfortable-sofa-hotel-lobby-waiting-check-time-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/its-my-wifes-appearance-thats-destroying-our-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-25 04:03:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "168356", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Contraception Services Dropped After ‘Defunding’ Provision Hit Clinics", "title_slug": "contraception-services-dropped-after-defunding-provision-hit-clinics", "title_hash": "7a7c915e0a4a8eced5d24b620701caf2", "summary": "Planned Parenthood closed 20 clinics in the months since the July 2025 budget reconciliation bill cut off Medicaid funding to some reproductive health-care clinics.\nThe post Contraception Services Dropped After ‘Defunding’ Provision Hit Clinics appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Visits for contraception and cancer screenings at Planned Parenthood clinics have dropped by double-digits after Congress passed a bill cutting off Medicaid funding to certain reproductive health-care providers last year, according to a new Democratic congressional report.

Between July 1 and the end of December, the report said emergency contraception distribution fell 10 percent, oral contraception distribution fell 27 percent, and IUD insertions fell 10 percent.

Republican members of the House and Senate passed a sweeping budget reconciliation bill in July that included a one-year provision barring clinics from receiving federal Medicaid reimbursement if they offered abortion services and billed Medicaid more than $800,000 in fiscal year 2023. The rule largely affected Planned Parenthood because of the high dollar amount, but some large independent clinics were also affected, such as Maine Family Planning and Health Imperatives in Massachusetts.

Since July, Planned Parenthood reported 20 clinics were forced to close because of the cuts. That was in addition to numerous clinics that had to close after the loss of Title X funds and other factors, bringing the total to 51 last year. The report said nearly 75 percent of those closures were in rural, medically underserved areas. About half were in the Midwest, including Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio, affecting about 25,000 patients.

“Almost all, 48 of 51, that closed between January and December offered primary care, and nearly half were in primary care shortage areas,” the report said.

In recent months, the decline in services grew. The report also notes there were 20 percent fewer visits for birth control pills in November, and a drop of 36 percent for intrauterine devices in December, the steepest decline out of all services measured. Some clinics have reported dropping their IUD offerings because it is a costly birth control device to obtain that was normally covered by Medicaid, but it is also the most popular and preferred form of birth control.

The number of visits for breast cancer screening exams fell by 25 percent in December, according to the report, and testing for sexually transmitted infections fell 11 percent in November, both of which could result in delayed treatment that increases overall health-care costs.

Twelve states have committed their own funding to help address the gap from federal Medicaid cuts, amounting to about $300 million, according to the report. That includes California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Massachusetts, Maine, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, and Washington. But advocates for Planned Parenthood say it still leaves a significant shortfall, because health centers nationwide provided an estimated $700 million in care annually to Medicaid patients before the law went into effect.

U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden, a Democrat who represents Oregon and a ranking member of the Senate Finance Committee, said at the March 19 press conference that he will vigorously oppose any reconciliation efforts to make the cuts permanent.

“We’re here to tell people who are opposing access to health care for women, no way. It’s not going to happen on my watch at the Finance Committee, period. Not going to happen,” Wyden said.

Federal law already prohibits providers from using federal dollars to pay for abortion care, with limited exceptions. Medicaid dollars paid for all of the other types of care that clinics provide, including contraception, testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections, and screenings for breast and cervical cancer. Maine Family Planning also provided primary care services to about 1,000 patients statewide, but had to halt that program in October because of the cuts.

“The report makes clear that it actually costs money to see all these Planned Parenthood offices or providers close, and once they’re closed, it’s not as though you can just bring them back up,” said U.S. Sen. Mazie Hirono, a Democrat who represents Hawaii, at a news conference on March 19, 2026. “But once they’re closed, people still need this kind of care, and so they’re going to go to other providers, or they will go without—which results in undiagnosed illnesses and health-care needs.”

Planned Parenthood Federation of America and two of its affiliates sued to block the law, but the effort was unsuccessful. Republicans in Congress have signaled a goal of extending the cuts and making them permanent, as outlined in the Republican Study Committee’s framework for the next budget reconciliation bill, released in January.

A coalition of major anti-abortion advocacy organizations, including Live Action, Heritage Action, National Right to Life, and Susan B. Anthony Pro-Life America, signed a letter sent to House Republican leadership urging them to immediately begin the reconciliation process and make the cuts permanent.

“Since the enactment of the 2025 reconciliation law, multiple abortion businesses have already closed facilities or scaled back operations, demonstrating the measurable impact of the defunding provision,” the letter said.

This article was republished from News From the States, part of States Newsroom. Read the original story by Kelcie Moseley-Morris here.

The post Contraception Services Dropped After ‘Defunding’ Provision Hit Clinics appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Contraception, Services, Dropped, After, ‘Defunding’, Provision, Hit, Clinics", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Contraception-calendar.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/24/contraception-services-dropped-after-defunding-provision-hit-clinics/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 12:13:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167985", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Vetted Gottman Training Matters in Online Therapy", "title_slug": "why-vetted-gottman-training-matters-in-online-therapy", "title_hash": "1b954cca2e550c42c509e361f64adee5", "summary": "Online therapy works. That’s no longer a question. The clinical evidence has been accumulating for years, and for couples therapy specifically, research shows that outcomes delivered through video are comparable […]\nThe post Why Vetted Gottman Training Matters in Online Therapy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Online therapy works. That’s no longer a question. The clinical evidence has been accumulating for years, and for couples therapy specifically, research shows that outcomes delivered through video are comparable […]

The post Why Vetted Gottman Training Matters in Online Therapy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Why, Vetted, Gottman, Training, Matters, Online, Therapy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-2156366162-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/gottman-online-therapy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:49:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167984", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Do Personality Traits Shape Gottman’s Four Horsemen?", "title_slug": "do-personality-traits-shape-gottmans-four-horsemen", "title_hash": "4dfdacf51ea2573799a914fc40abeef6", "summary": "Do your personality traits make you prone to conflict? Explore the link between individual character and Gottman's Four Horsemen\nThe post Do Personality Traits Shape Gottman’s Four Horsemen? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Do your personality traits make you prone to conflict? Explore the link between individual character and Gottman's Four Horsemen

The post Do Personality Traits Shape Gottman’s Four Horsemen? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Personality, Traits, Shape, Gottman’s, Four, Horsemen", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-2203788104-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/conflict-personality-traits/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:49:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167983", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Liminal Space: Maintaining Connection Through Life’s Major Transitions", "title_slug": "liminal-space-maintaining-connection-through-lifes-major-transitions", "title_hash": "c49db942e7df3835c5ecb0e366d81312", "summary": "Major life changes often lead to a disorienting liminal space. Discover how to overcome communication barriers and strengthen your relationships here.\nThe post Liminal Space: Maintaining Connection Through Life’s Major Transitions appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Major life changes often lead to a disorienting liminal space. Discover how to overcome communication barriers and strengthen your relationships here.

The post Liminal Space: Maintaining Connection Through Life’s Major Transitions appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Liminal, Space:, Maintaining, Connection, Through, Life’s, Major, Transitions", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-540382402.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/liminal-space-maintaining-connection-through-lifes-major-transitions/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:49:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167854", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Girl Does Not Have to Like You to Have Sex with You", "title_slug": "a-girl-does-not-have-to-like-you-to-have-sex-with-you", "title_hash": "b6a832504f7a047c62dce577d6901c65", "summary": "Many guys today are worried about their attractiveness to women. But they shouldn’t be: because girls don’t even need to like you to have sex with you.\nToday, let us shatter the central myth of Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) thinking:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"she$ Many guys today are worried about their attractiveness to women. But they shouldn’t be: because girls don’t even need to like you to have sex with you.

Today, let us shatter the central myth of Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) thinking:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Girl, Does, Not, Have, Like, You, Have, Sex, with, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/she-doesnt-need-to-like-you-to-have-sex-with-you-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/girl-does-not-have-you-have-sex-you", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:34:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167855", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Secret to Getting Into High End Clubs (Without Buying a Table)", "title_slug": "the-secret-to-getting-into-high-end-clubs-without-buying-a-table", "title_hash": "b946983a9f62a991159b9cc5809ebebd", "summary": "High-end clubs feel impossible to get into, but the secret isn't buying a table. Learn the real strategies for getting in without breaking the bank.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"getting$ High-end clubs feel impossible to get into, but the secret isn't buying a table. Learn the real strategies for getting in without breaking the bank.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Secret, Getting, Into, High, End, Clubs, Without, Buying, Table", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/getting-into-high-end-clubs-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/secret-getting-high-end-clubs-without-buying-table", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:34:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167853", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Some Guys Get Liked; Others Get Laid. Which Are You?", "title_slug": "some-guys-get-liked-others-get-laid-which-are-you", "title_hash": "b5875deebc4e4015ba7790991d347a0c", "summary": "You can make girls LIKE you or you can make girls LAY you. You can’t often do both. Which one are YOU more focused on trying to make happen with women?\nSomething has been bothering me about the whole AFC ‘looksmax’ fad that’s exploded all over the Internet.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"sexy$ You can make girls LIKE you or you can make girls LAY you. You can’t often do both. Which one are YOU more focused on trying to make happen with women?

Something has been bothering me about the whole AFC ‘looksmax’ fad that’s exploded all over the Internet.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Some, Guys, Get, Liked, Others, Get, Laid., Which, Are, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/get-liked-or-get-laid-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/some-guys-get-liked-others-get-laid-which-are-you", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:34:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167851", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Benefits of Exfoliating Your Scalp", "title_slug": "the-benefits-of-exfoliating-your-scalp", "title_hash": "c550221ecdd14b69994453c128ff28c3", "summary": "5 Key Reasons to Incorporate Scalp Exfoliation Into Your Grooming Routine", "content": "If you have a skincare routine, you’re probably aware of the importance of regular exfoliation. But did you know that your scalp is part of your skin too and could benefit from the same TLC? Scalp scrubs have been exploding in popularity in the past couple of years – and men are catching on to their benefits. \r\nAccording to celebrity hairstylist and PURA D'OR partner Clyde Haygood, a healthy scalp is the most important factor to having a healthy head of hair: “Scalp health is important to help promote hair growth and help prevent problems such as hair breakage, hair loss and even dandruff and flakiness.” As Haley Strickland, hair stylist and educator at Alter Ego Italy, puts it, “your scalp is like the soil for your hair to grow from.” \r\nSo, if you want thicker, stronger and healthier hair, you need to start treating your scalp as the foundation that it is. Just like a plant wouldn’t thrive in dry soil, you can’t expect your hair to do great if your scalp is clogged with buildup and dead skin cells. \r\nRELATED: Why Men Go Bald and What to Do About It\r\nSkeptical about adding yet another step and product to the mix? Here are five benefits of exfoliating your scalp – as well as tips to get started. \r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Exfoliating Your Scalp\r\n\r\n1. It Gets Rid of Buildup\r\nShampoo gets rid of some buildup, but it doesn’t finish the job like a scalp scrub. What exactly is buildup and why is it so bad? Think “dirt, debris, excessive oil, environmental toxins and pollution, old product [residue] and dead skin cells,” according to Haygood. Yikes. All of these sit on your scalp and clog hair follicles, which makes your hair look dull and unhealthy, weakens hair strands and eventually leads to hair loss and breakage. \r\n2. It Supports Hair Growth\r\n“Exfoliation also increases blood circulation to the scalp, helping with hair growth by delivering essential nutrients,” adds Haygood. This matters because healthy hair growth starts with your diet. “Healthy food means that less junk is expelled through your skin,” according to Strickland. Combining a nutrient-dense diet with scalp exfoliation boosts the benefits of both, giving your hair the fuel it needs from within and the right external conditions to grow. \r\n3. It Combats Dandruff\r\nA clinical trial conducted by hair care brand JuliArt revealed that treating the scalp with a combination of products including an exfoliating shampoo improved dandruff by nearly 75% after two weeks. \r\n4. It Feels Really Good\r\nPlus, let’s face it, another bonus is that exfoliating your scalp just feels good, adds Haygood. \r\nTaking the time to use a scalp scrub at home is like treating yourself to a mini spa moment – and research shows spa treatments have a positive effect on mental health and sleep. \r\n5. It Helps with Product Absorption\r\nIf you use products like hair serums, exfoliating your scalp before applying them boosts their efficacy. Otherwise, you’re just wasting expensive products by letting them sit on top of buildup instead of letting them sink in and do their job. \r\n\r\nScalp Exfoliation Tips\r\n\r\nNow that you understand the importance of scalp health and the benefits of exfoliating your scalp, here are a few things to keep in mind for best results. \r\nFirst, don’t overdo it. You don’t need to exfoliate your scalp more than once or twice a week. Strickland suggests using a scalp massager to scrub your hair while shampooing: “It’s a good way to gently exfoliate the scalp. It simultaneously stimulates the cells in your scalp to promote healthy circulation and ensures that any product buildup is fully removed.”\r\nWhen shopping for a scalp massager, look for soft silicone bristles – not hard plastic ones. Exfoliating your scalp shouldn’t hurt. As for scalp scrubs, gentle is the name of the game. Some products are too aggressive and can irritate your scalp, adds Strickland: “The beads that are often in exfoliation products can damage the cell walls and create scarring. Too raw of an environment is not ideal for hair growth. I gravitate toward natural products behind the chair.” \r\nSkip the rough scrubs with big exfoliating beads and look for clean, nourishing formulas that won’t strip your scalp. Ingredients such as apple cider vinegar (Haygood recommends it), salicylic acid, tea tree oil or charcoal help break down buildup without being too harsh.\r\nWhat you do before and after exfoliation also matters. Brush your hair before hopping in the shower, to remove tangles and prevent unnecessary breakage. Wash your hair with warm water and a gentle shampoo. Make sure your head is wet before scrubbing, as it helps soften the skin of your scalp and makes exfoliation less abrasive. \r\nOnce you’re done, it’s a great time to apply targeted treatments, such as a hair serum. The best products depend on your unique needs and hair type, but your scalp will be receptive to their effects post-scrub.\r\nScalp care truly is similar to skincare – cleanse, exfoliate and hydrate. And your hair will thank you for incorporating this ritual into your routine. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Best Shampoos for MenThe Bald Facts on Hair LossBest Products for Thinning Hair", "keywords": "The, Benefits, Exfoliating, Your, Scalp", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/hair/the-benefits-of-exfoliating-your-scalp/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1751291445.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/hair/the-benefits-of-exfoliating-your-scalp.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:34:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167852", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Overlooked Body Parts You Need to Be Training", "title_slug": "overlooked-body-parts-you-need-to-be-training", "title_hash": "7d69c3e838627459e37b033d09696897", "summary": "6 Neglected Muscle Groups You *Need* to be Targeting for Health & Longevity", "content": "Does your gym routine revolve around what you see in the mirror? While there’s nothing wrong with wanting a bigger chest, chiseled arms or strong legs, focusing only on the usual suspects means you’re probably neglecting some of the muscles that keep your body balanced and injury-free. \r\nAnd even if you care about functional fitness and train for mobility, you may still have blind spots. The truth is, the foundation of strength often relies on body parts that most people don’t think of training — until something starts to hurt. As Leon Veal, certified personal trainer and head of nutrition and innovation at Styrkr, puts it, “chasing aesthetics is common, but strength is about how well your body works overall.”\r\nGiving often-overlooked muscles some love can not only prevent injury, but it can also help you maximize your gains. For example, classical pilates educator and somatic coach Melody Morton-Buckleair calls your feet, diaphragm and pelvic floor (yes, that’s a thing for men too) the “unsung heroes of real strength.” \r\nRELATED: Shoulder Mobility Exercises\r\nHere are six body parts you’re not training — but should be. \r\n1. Shoulder Girdle Muscles\r\nYour shoulder girdle muscles include your rotator cuff and scapular stabilizer. They work in the background to anchor your shoulder blade and keep your shoulder joint stable as you move. \r\n“The big movers (chest, quads, biceps) get all the glory, but the stabilizers (rotator cuff, deep abdominals, pelvic and shoulder girdle muscles) are what keep you injury-free and powerful,” says Morton-Buckleair, who adds that you can’t have real strength without control.\r\nThat said, traditional training doesn’t often focus on your shoulder girdle muscles, which is why shoulder injuries are common. So, include moves like rotator cuff external rotations, wall slides and scapular push-ups in your warm-up. \r\n2. Pelvic Floor\r\nYes, you have a pelvic floor. And no, it’s not only important for women. It’s a sling of muscles at the base of your core. It supports everything above it, from your organs to your spine. \r\n“It stabilizes the pelvis, supports organ function and plays a huge role in performance — both in the gym and, well, elsewhere,” according to Morton-Buckleair. “It’s all part of what we call the powerhouse in Pilates — and no powerhouse is complete without training its foundation.”\r\nWondering how to keep your pelvic floor strong and healthy? Start with your breath: inhale to relax the pelvic floor, exhale to gently lift and engage it. Now perform a deep squat with that breathing pattern in mind. Or add a Pilates class to your weekly routine. \r\n3. Diaphragm\r\nLocated at the base of your rib cage between your chest and belly, your diaphragm is a thin, dome-shaped muscle. When you inhale, it contracts and moves downwards, making room for your lungs to expand. When you exhale, it relaxes back to its original shape. \r\nYou probably don’t think of all this very often, unless you’re doing specific breathwork. But you should. “The diaphragm isn’t just for breath — it’s your top core muscle, syncing breath with spinal support,” adds Morton-Buckleair.\r\nBasically, if your breathing mechanics are off, your core may not be doing its job properly — even if you’re doing moves like planks or leg raises. When you don’t engage your diaphragm effectively, you lose that deep core support. You may compensate in other ways or feel back pain. \r\nTo avoid this, practice deep belly breathing on your back or while sitting. As you inhale through your nose, think of expanding your rib cage. Exhale slowly and fully, then repeat.\r\n4. Feet\r\nEach one of your feet is made up of over 100 muscles, tendons and ligaments. Your foot is a complex structure — because it carries big responsibilities. “Having strong, mobile feet creates a stable base for every lift, sprint, or jump, and they’re essential for balance and stopping injury,” according to Veal. \r\nTo strengthen your feet, consider barefoot training in safe settings. It strengthens the stabilizer muscles in your feet. It makes your ankles stronger. And it enhances proprioception — your body’s ability to sense where it is in space. All of this translates into better balance, control and coordination.\r\n5. Neck\r\nThink of all the time you spend looking down at screens. Now consider all the upper body workout moves that engage the front side of your body, from bench pressing to bicep curls. These two factors can wreak havoc on your neck and upper back, which play a huge role in having good posture and staying pain-free. \r\nVeal notes that the deep neck flexors and lower trap muscles are often neglected — these are the muscles that help keep your head aligned over your spine and your shoulders pulled back.\r\nNo need to go heavy to strengthen these muscles. A small movement like a chin tuck can work wonders for your neck and upper back: Sit upright, look straight ahead and gently glide your chin straight back without tilting your head up or bending your neck. \r\n6. Hip Stabilizers\r\nYou know better than to skip leg day. But do you give enough attention to the muscles that stabilize your hips? “Hip stabilizers like the gluteus medius, adductors and hip flexors are often overshadowed by the bigger glutes and quads,” says Veal. “Weakness here can lead to knee pain, hip tightness, and reduced lower-body power.”\r\nTo give these muscles the attention they deserve, include single-leg moves such as step-ups and lateral band walks in your routine. They’ll help round out your lower-body workouts and make your bigger lifts more powerful, too.\r\nPrioritizing the areas above doesn’t have to take up hours every week. A few simple additions to your exercise schedule can pay off in terms of performance, injury prevention and overall well-being. It’s about investing in the foundation that keeps your body functioning at its best. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Leg-Building Workout RoutinesHow to Build a Bigger, Stronger ChestWhy You're Losing Muscle (and What to Do About It)", "keywords": "Overlooked, Body, Parts, You, Need, Training", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/overlooked-body-parts-you-need-to-be-training/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1749739113.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/overlooked-body-parts-you-need-to-be-training.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:34:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167477", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Cheats on Me With a Woman Who Can’t Even Hold a Candle to Me", "title_slug": "he-cheats-on-me-with-a-woman-who-cant-even-hold-a-candle-to-me", "title_hash": "335f075fcea668f4c535106af826b9a7", "summary": "Before he was my husband, he was my friend. A friend I trusted, a friend who didn’t like to see others hurt me. So when he proposed, I remembered what …", "content": "

Before he was my husband, he was my friend. A friend I trusted, a friend who didn’t like to see others hurt me. So when he proposed, I remembered what they said about marrying your friend being the best thing you could do. I gave it a go.

His family not wanting me to be his wife was not the hardest hurdle we had to overcome. There were many more. But we finally walked down the aisle. That particular Thursday, years ago, we danced to the glory of God. Finally, God did it. I was going to my husband’s house.

Right now, we are three years into this marriage, with a baby born into it. We survived 12 good years of knowing each other. I respected him, I loved him. I played my part as a woman, as a wife, even when it meant taking the back seat. I was glad to.

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I quietly noticed when things changed. His shirts didn’t smell like the afterwash I used. They smelled like a man who had been somewhere else. When he stopped coming home to eat my food, I knew he was getting it from somewhere. He thought he was playing it cool. The joke was on him. I wanted to find out who the girl was, and I did. I know his taste, I am his taste, but this one he is cheating on me with is very uneducated, not particularly attractive, and likely unemployed, but she is audacious. Imagine, she has the audacity to ask how his wife and child are doing and he too replies. Very impressive. I am not belittling her, but I would have expected him to choose someone who at least matched me.

It broke my heart when I finally pieced everything together.

I didn’t confront him immediately. I waited and watched him come home every day, smile at me and the child, and wondered how and why it was so easy for him to do this to us. One evening, I asked if he was cheating. He vehemently denied it and was about to swear on his life when I interrupted him. “Tell me the truth. I will forgive you.” He was still adamant, so one by one I laid out the evidence I had gathered and watched his face go blank.

cried with our baby boy in my arms and kept asking why. He had no answer.

“I will change. In fact, I will not see her again.” He looked at me and swore.

I forgave him, not entirely, but I did. Then I turned into a watchdog. It was exhausting. I questioned everywhere he went. I was constantly on edge, as if bracing myself to catch him again. And I did catch him again, in a worse situation than the first time. This time, I am learning that the man I married is not the same man I dated. He is involved in all kinds of flirting, chasing women, everything unsavoury. He is doing all of it.

Finding out this time did not hit me the way it did the first time. Maybe the shock has worn off. Maybe this is the part where I am losing feeling for a man I have known and loved for 15 years.

What makes it worse is that he is still in touch with this woman and is planning to meet her this weekend.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I am planning to show up at the place they have scheduled to meet and catch him in the act. But to what end? And then what? What is the worst that could happen? How will it help me?

Should I walk away from this marriage because I cannot stand the cheating, or should I confront him and see if we can salvage things? I still love my husband and I know he loves me too. I am also worried about my child if I leave. But I am losing my mind.

—Fatia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Cheats, With, Woman, Who, Can’t, Even, Hold, Candle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/young-hispanic-lady-psychotherapist-showing-cell-phone-patient-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-cheats-on-me-with-a-woman-who-cant-even-hold-a-candle-to-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:10:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167476", "lang_id": "1", "title": "We Used to Bathe Together, Now He Locks Me Out So He Can Bath Alone", "title_slug": "we-used-to-bathe-together-now-he-locks-me-out-so-he-can-bath-alone", "title_hash": "27d7b9c804d6dd70a5d0ae547f7ee0ed", "summary": "We used to bathe together. We started when we were dating. It was an intimate ritual that kept the bond going. We didn’t just bathe; we talked a lot and …", "content": "

We used to bathe together. We started when we were dating. It was an intimate ritual that kept the bond going. We didn’t just bathe; we talked a lot and fought about little things, and sometimes the little things went too far, too passionate and too steamy.

We would come from the bath not only refreshed but revived. We carried this behavior into our marriage, and it was always fun. I would wait for him until he got home so we could bathe together. He would do the same for me until lately, it doesn’t happen anymore.

I saw it when it started changing. His excuses were many; chief among the excuses was tiredness. “I was too tired, I couldn’t wait. I had to bathe so I could relax.”

Even when I was there and not done with my chores, he would enter to bathe first just to avoid us bathing together. He called it a little thing. He wondered why I would nag about something this small, but this meant a lot to me. It showed we hadn’t changed. It showed life hadn’t changed who we are.

Currently, it has come to zero. No bathing together at all, and our marriage is not even two years old. I hate that I’m the one complaining about it all the time, and I hate that he makes no effort to resolve it but rather complains about my complaining.

“If it’s a nuisance to you that I’m ranting every day, then why don’t we do it so you and I will be free?” I asked. He responded, “It’s the way you annoy me with the ranting, that’s why I don’t want to do it.”

Even if I don’t rant, he still gets up and bathes alone. To add salt to injury, he locks the bathroom so I don’t force my way through. He’s making me feel like he’s hiding something from me or, better still, that he’s doing it with someone else, that’s why he’s avoiding that moment with me. It sounds like it doesn’t make sense, but it’s something I can’t grasp.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I want us to go back to the way we used to be, so I’m sharing it here and will also share the link with him so he knows it worries me so much that he has switched off the light that lit our path. Please advise him to start again. I need all your support to get him to do it again because it means so much to me.

", "keywords": ", Used, Bathe, Together, Now, Locks, Out, Can, Bath, Alone", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/freepik__adjust__14382.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/we-used-to-bathe-together-now-he-locks-me-out-so-he-can-bath-alone/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:10:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167475", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Lives In Her Own House But I’m Not Invited To Live With Her", "title_slug": "my-wife-lives-in-her-own-house-but-im-not-invited-to-live-with-her", "title_hash": "d14ec8a804a9999e925ddc75534cb516", "summary": "The first time I met her, she was walking with a girl around six years old. It was the beauty of the girl that attracted me. I asked her if …", "content": "

The first time I met her, she was walking with a girl around six years old. It was the beauty of the girl that attracted me. I asked her if the girl was her sister, and she smiled without giving me an answer. She was waiting for someone and was alone, so I sat by and baited the girl to play with me. You know kids, she fell for it and ran to me. I asked her quietly, “Is that your sister?” And she answered, “No, she’s my mother.”

I was a little surprised because she looked younger than someone who could give birth to the girl I was playing with. She told me her mother’s name, and I shifted my attention to her mother instead. I got her to talk, and by the time she was leaving, I’d been able to get her number.

I called her the same evening, and she was very receptive. A week later, we were talking every day. When I asked her out, she said she wasn’t the outing type. Even when I pleaded, she said no to an outing and said she would rather stay home and enjoy a moment alone.

When I persisted for weeks, she finally invited me to visit her place. I got there, saw the house she was living in, and asked if she was living alone. She answered, “That’s my house.” I probed, “As in, you own the house?” She nodded and smiled.

That pushed me to ask about her age because it looked like she had lived a lot of life at her young age. She said she was thirty-five. As the day went by, I learned a lot about her and her story. I learned she married at a very young age to a man who was very rich. They had a daughter, and the marriage started decaying.

According to her, right from the beginning, the man abused her physically. She was only twenty-three and had dated the man for two years before they got married. When the abuse became consistent, she decided to leave the marriage but her parents wouldn’t allow her.

Anytime she ran home, they pushed her back into the house where she was constantly beaten and left to starve, even though she was the one cooking the meals. She said one day she ran away with her daughter and never looked back. The divorce lasted for over two years but she never went home until the divorce became final. The house and the car she was using were her divorce settlement.

I loved her and loved her story too. You could see what she had been through had made her stronger and very independent. I was consistent with her and with her daughter. Her daughter called me daddy even before she said yes to my proposal. It was hard. She didn’t trust me to be different. I told her, “Look at you and look at me, do you think I would have the courage to lay my hands on you?”

She trusted me enough to say yes to me, and we dated for a year before we got married. Before marriage, we talked about where to live and how to begin life afresh. She made it clear that she wouldn’t want us to live in her house because of obvious reasons, and I understood her. I was living in a single-room self-contained apartment. I was cutting my coat according to the material available. We agreed we would rent a place and move there.

We’ve been married for close to two years, and she’s currently pregnant, but we don’t live together. She lives in her house, and I live in my single-room self-contained apartment because we don’t seem to agree on where to live. We moved around looking for a house in the early days of our marriage. We got nice places. They were either too expensive or too far from our workplaces.

I go to her place and spend two to three weeks there, but she wouldn’t let me move in. I suggested she should let me move in until we got a place we could move to. She told me, “If you move in here, you’ll never want to leave again. So let’s get a new place and move in together.”

When my rent was due, I thought I was going to move soon, so I paid for only three months. Three months later, I had to pay for another three months until my landlord threatened to eject me, so I had to pay for two years. She doesn’t come here. She says this place is too small for her and her daughter, which I understand, but she wouldn’t also let me move in with her except for short stays.

She wants us to find our own place so she can sell the house and invest the money for her daughter’s future. To me, it’s a bad idea. To her, it’s the best idea because, according to her, she doesn’t want to keep anything that reminds her of her previous marriage in her current marriage.

When she got pregnant, we stopped looking for a place because she wants to be in a stable environment to have the child. I’m the one who goes out and comes in like I’m a stranger in the family. Everyone tells me my wife isn’t being reasonable. I don’t need them to tell me because I already know it. Her problem is her trust issues, but I believe we’ve come a long way for her to trust me.

I want to live with her now that she’s pregnant. I want to stay close and go through the whole process with her, but the longest I can stay at her place is two weeks. Anything beyond two weeks makes it feel like I’ve come to settle, and she starts complaining. I asked her if it’s her plan for us never to live together, and she answered, “Far from it, but I don’t want my ex-husband to feel I can’t live my married life without his house.”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

By law, the house belongs to her, but she still sees it as something that belongs to her ex-husband, and I don’t have a say in that matter. It hurts me. It confuses me, and I don’t seem to enjoy this marriage because of this issue. I’m not forcing my way into her house. All I’m asking is that we live together until something permanent comes along. Am I asking for too much?

—Junior

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Wife, Lives, Her, Own, House, But, I’m, Not, Invited, Live, With, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/274624.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-lives-in-her-own-house-but-im-not-invited-to-live-with-her/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-24 06:10:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167474", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Woman I Want to Marry Comes With a Past So Heavy My Mother Will Never Accept Her", "title_slug": "the-woman-i-want-to-marry-comes-with-a-past-so-heavy-my-mother-will-never-accept-her", "title_hash": "d6ecd4547f07538d17d8c6232a51a993", "summary": "I have been a Christian all my life. I played instruments, held mics, and sang songs that glorified God and caused goosebumps. I am that guy. I am the only …", "content": "

I have been a Christian all my life. I played instruments, held mics, and sang songs that glorified God and caused goosebumps. I am that guy. I am the only one son and child of my mother. And she has never failed to drum into my ears, “I want you to marry a good Christian woman, like me, who would also strengthen your faith in God like I have.” Only she does not know the number of times I have struggled with my faith, struggled with the church girls she keeps pushing my way. But this one I have found, she is different, very different from what others would like for a son like me.

It all started when I met Esther some years ago in the church. When she walked forward during the altar call by the pastor, I was tucked somewhere in the church. She looked sincere and actually looked like she needed God to take the wheel from her. After the service, I collected her number, started to call and check up, and keep her in the church. My first call to her, that call marked the beginning of everything

A few months later, it stopped being about getting her to stay in the church and fellowship. It became matters of the heart. I broke the news to her when I couldn’t contain the fire that was building in me. “I like you and want to get to know you more.” She retreated, coiled into a shell and started ignoring me, but I forged on till she broke loose. “If you knew the real me, you’d leave me.” “Love conquers all,” I told her. “We are a new creation, all things have passed away, we are new.” That did the trick, but it didn’t prepare me for what I heard next. I was shocked first, then felt the urge to protect her at all costs.

“I was 16 when I met him. He was all I knew.He introduced me to this world. I was smoking, drinking, getting high and doing everything just to stay there. Sex was our only source of entertainment, so we did that every day and night. We wanted to come back to God but every day we postponed it, until my body and soul couldn’t live that life anymore. So I left him there in the ghetto and came here with my children..”

As she narrated her story, I kept hearing the song, “He leaves the 99 always for the one.” This was it.

We took things slowly from there, and intentionally too.

It’s been two years of absolute bliss, of walking with God and Him being the third strand in our relationship. I have never been happier to go into the house of God than now, when the love of my life is also there. Stealing necessary glances at her. Holding her hands to pray and leaving the church with her. She’s all that I want, even with the children.

I know my mom would love her, carry her like a daughter, if we left things hanging and never told the entire truth. That she, Esther, is a mother of six. That she was a drunkard, a smoker. Exactly the opposite of what she wants for her only son. She’d make a whole scene. She’d fight it, fight my love, fight her and fight everything we have.

I know my mother.

How do I explain it to my mom, that it doesn’t take anything away from the great woman she is now and will be in the future? I don’t want to be the kind of man who gave her hope and slashes it into half after so much cushioning. I don’t want to be the man the children will remember as coming into their lives to make their mother happy and them happy, and then leave again. It creates a dent in their hearts, destroys their faith in humanity, even in love.

The children are awesome. All six of them. They love me, and I love them. I don’t even understand how easy it is for me to love all of them that much at once. Never did I imagine it, but here I am.

Esther is ever ready for more kids, our own little kids. She says anything for me. But I don’t know how to explain to my African mother that her only child has a girlfriend who has 6 children plus with her background and he plans to marry her soon. Maybe before the year ends, plans are still in motion

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I know and love my mom, and I need her in my corner if I want to take this path. Only she can bless it and make it glorious for the future I see with Esther. There are lots of things to consider, I know. But doesn’t love conquer all? It surely does, doesn’t it? Even if it doesn’t, doesn’t she deserve love after all that has happened to her?

We need to find a plan to get my mother on this thread I’m taking. Help a brother out.

—Samuel

#SB<>

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My wife asked for a divorce. It came out of nowhere. Yes, we’ve had some troubles after five years of marriage, but I didn’t think it was enough for my wife to ask for a divorce. In shock, I asked what had come over her, and she told me she was simply sick and tired of the marriage and wanted peace. I asked if she had consulted anyone before making that request, and she said she didn’t need anyone’s opinion as far as it was her choice.

I ignored her. Sometimes frustration can make us make such decisions, but if we allow time to run us through our decision in daylight, then we can change our minds. I decided not to talk about it again and see what she would do.

The next day, she said, “So how are we going to manage the house? Are you moving out, or should I move out with the child?” I didn’t honor that question with an answer, hoping it was all coming out of frustration and she would cage her mind. Another day she said, “I don’t want this to bring a fight and turn us into enemies. I want peace. You’re still the father of my child.”

I walked out of the scene so I wouldn’t hear what would make me angry. Every day came with another question, which I conveniently avoided. One day, I came home and she had left with our son. When I called her phone, she didn’t answer. She rather texted a few minutes later and told me she had moved out since I wasn’t listening to her.

That day, I went to her parents’ house and told them everything. I thought they knew. It was the first time they were hearing about it. They asked what had come over her, and right in front of me, they called her. She screamed, “He came to tell you what I’d done, but have you asked him what he did to make me want a divorce?”

Her dad asked her patiently to come home to explain what was going on. I left, but a few days later, her dad called me to come over, and I went. My wife was there. When her dad asked her to tell me her reasons for wanting the divorce, she ranted for several minutes, but she was saying only one thing—that her life had stagnated in the marriage and I wasn’t doing much to seek growth.

I didn’t have millions when we got married. I was starting life just as she was starting life. She had a job, and I had mine. We didn’t have big salaries, but we prayed to make life better. After we got married, every suggestion I made to her didn’t go far. She either objected or countered it. I wanted us to have a joint account; she said no. I wanted us to buy a piece of land; she said she didn’t have much. I got the opportunity to travel outside, but she kicked against it, and because I didn’t have the money to finance the travel, I couldn’t go.

Yes, our lives had stalled a little bit, but we were not struggling. We ate three square meals every day. We paid our rent without trouble. When our child was sick, we were able to pay the medical bills. I don’t call this struggling. We could do better, but it’s all a matter of time.

When I asked her to single out one moment in our married life that stagnated her life, she couldn’t mention any. She mentioned the fights we’d had years ago and the things I said that hurt her badly. Everything she said sounded like she had decided on the divorce but was looking for a reason to back her decision.

Her dad asked what I had to say, and I apologized for stalling her life and promised to work hard so she should come home. She still shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Her dad asked me to go as he handled the issue with her.

I came home and called her to reconsider and come home. She stopped picking up my calls. She texted often to tell me she was speaking to a lawyer, so I should get ready for the divorce. She said she wouldn’t reconsider. I told her one day, “That’s fine. Do whatever pleases you.”

I stopped calling and stopped answering her messages. For over a month, we didn’t talk. I called through her mother to talk to our son. I sent money through her mother too. Her mother often told me she was praying for us. For a month, I learned to live without her. I grew to accept she wasn’t coming back, so emotionally, I started the journey of healing even before the last hurdle, only for her to call one evening and say, “I’m coming back.”

“Back to where?”

That’s where we are currently—to accept her back or not. I’ve made a decision not to accept her, no matter what. And I’m also happy that no one is giving me pressure to bring her back to live with me. I asked her two questions, and she hasn’t been able to answer either of them satisfactorily: “What changed?” and “What did you see out there that you wanted to go and chase?”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

She tells me she has listened to the advice of her parents and wants to give it a try, and also for the fact that I didn’t give up on her. I was blunt. “Then you can’t come back when I’ve decided to give up. It doesn’t work that way.” Her dad says I should pray about it. My parents have been indifferent right from the start, and they still remain indifferent.

Until I get satisfactory answers to those questions, I don’t think there should be a way back for her. Or am I being unreasonable?

—Eugene

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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To get AngryBlackLady Chronicles straight to your inbox, sign up for Imani’s bimonthly newsletter here.

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Right now I’m wearing braiding hair that may be exposing me to lead.

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According to a new analysis from Consumer Reports, the braiding hair currently installed on my head—Ywigs Water Wave Bulk human hair—contained the highest lead levels of any braiding hair they tested.

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That doesn’t mean the braiding hair on my head is actively poisoning me. But it does raise some questions: How did potentially dangerous products like this make it onto store shelves in the first place? And why are millions of Black women buying hair products that are not being regulated by the Food and Drug Administration?

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If the lead and other chemicals detected in braiding hair pose a health risk, we deserve to know. And if it doesn’t, we deserve clear answers about that too.

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Black women shouldn’t have to figure it out ourselves while navigating beauty standards that have spent generations telling us the way our hair grows out of our heads needs to be changed to fit in.

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That’s certainly why I begged my mother for a relaxer for years.

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She finally relented when I was 12. I was ecstatic.

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Relaxers promise straight hair. Straight hair meant fewer questions, fewer stares, and fewer moments where your hair suddenly becomes the most interesting thing about you.

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“Can I touch it?”

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“Your hair is so cool.”

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White folks become amateur anthropologists, grasping at your hair, and studying you the way people once studied Black bodies in human zoos.

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As comedian Paul Mooney put it in the documentary Good Hair, “If your hair is relaxed, they are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they are not happy.”

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So for the next decade, I did what a lot of Black girls do: I relaxed my hair. It burned like hell which should have been a sign that I probably shouldn’t be using it. (It turns out that “creamy crack” is linked to uterine cancer, according to a 2022 study.)

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In 1996, I chopped my hair off and went natural. It wasn’t really a political statement. I also wasn’t concerned about cancer at the time. My decision was rooted in sheer frustration: I was living in Washington, D.C., I had started my first corporate job as a paralegal, and as any Black woman will tell you, relaxers and humid air do not mix.

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At the time, my options for hair styles were extremely limited.

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There was a quiet understanding among Black women professionals: If you wanted to be taken seriously, you relaxed your hair, wore wigs, or kept it cropped into the only natural style widely tolerated in professional environments—the teeny-weeny ’fro. (That’s what I opted for.)

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It wasn’t paranoia that drove us to relaxers and wigs and away from natural hair styles.

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It was societal expectations. In 2007, for example, a Glamour magazine editor told lawyers at a Manhattan law firm during a presentation to “just say no to the ’fro,” and said dreadlocks are “truly dreadful.”

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Her remarks set off a firestorm.

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In response to decades of discrimination like this, state lawmakers began passing bills that prohibit discrimination based on hair texture and protective styles like braids, locs, and twists. In 2019, California became the first state to pass a Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair Act, or CROWN Act, and since then, more than two dozen states have adopted similar laws.

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But passing a law doesn’t magically end the policing of Black hair.

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Just ask Darryl George, a Texas high school student who spent months in in-school suspension because his locs violated his school district’s grooming policy—even after Texas enacted its own CROWN Act in 2023. Courts ultimately allowed the school district to enforce its rule limiting the length of boys’ hair.

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This systemic disdain for Black hair also explains why so many Black women wear braids.

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If natural hair can still be treated as unprofessional—or simply “too much”—braids and extensions become the workaround. They allow natural hair to rest while producing a look white people are more comfortable with.

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Which brings us back to the braiding hair, that the FDA has thus far shown no interest in regulating.

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In 2025, Consumer Reports tested synthetic braiding hair and found potentially harmful chemicals. After many people began turning to supposedly safer alternatives, like human and plant-based hair made from banana fibers. Consumer Reports followed up in 2026 by testing those products as well—analyzing 30 braiding hair products from 29 brands, including human hair and plant-based options.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Lead was detected in 29 of the 30 products tested, and every product contained volatile organic compounds, or VOCs, which can irritate the eyes, nose, and throat.

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Those findings quickly spread across TikTok and other social media sites—and so did skepticism about how dangerous these products actually are.

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In a YouTube video responding to the magazine’s 2025 report on synthetic hair, Dr. Michelle Wong, an Australian scientist with a doctorate in chemistry, questioned how alarming the results actually are. Her critique wasn’t that the lead wasn’t present. It was that the levels Consumer Reports flagged as concerning were based on an ingestion model that doesn’t reflect how braiding hair is actually used.

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For most adults wearing braids, Wong argued, the amount of hair someone would have to eat to reach concerning levels would be extremely high—like a yarn ball’s worth of hair every day.

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Consumer Reports itself notes that ingestion is only one possible pathway for exposure. Braiding hair sits against the scalp and skin for weeks at a time, and stylists handle it constantly while installing it. Scientists say it’s difficult to determine how much contamination might be absorbed through skin contact or inhaled when hair is heated or manipulated.

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So it’s unclear how harmful braiding hair is.

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Maybe the chemicals detected in braiding hair are harmless. Maybe they’re not.

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But millions of Black women are wearing these products on our heads every day and the FDA is supposed to be the agency that answers questions like that.

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And so far, it hasn’t.

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Can’t get enough AngryBlackLady? In her monthly podcast, B*tch, Listen, Imani Gandy candidly discusses race, culture, and reproductive justice, with enough snark to keep the toughest conversations cool. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you get your podcasts.

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Update (March 18, 2026): The dek, or summary, of this story has been updated for clarity.

The post Black Women Deserve Answers About the Chemicals in Braiding Hair: Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Black, Women, Deserve, Answers, About, the, Chemicals, Braiding, Hair:, Opinion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Chemicals-in-Braiding-Hair-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/18/black-women-deserve-answers-about-the-chemicals-in-braiding-hair-opinion/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-23 11:43:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "167204", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Some Endometriosis Patients Are Changing Their Diets to Manage Symptoms ", "title_slug": "some-endometriosis-patients-are-changing-their-diets-to-manage-symptoms", "title_hash": "29136a93ababd2bb352ef789c10c53e9", "summary": "Endometriosis is underresearched and underdiagnosed. Providers and patients alike are trying a more holistic approach—but does it work?\nThe post Some Endometriosis Patients Are Changing Their Diets to Manage Symptoms appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Adanze Benjamin spent the end of 2024 feeling terrible. The lymph nodes in her armpits had swelled to the size of golf balls. Walking up the stairs left her winded. Every inch of her body ached.

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“ I literally would wake up in a pool of sweat in my bed, like soaked,” said Benjamin, now 24.

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All of her symptoms pointed to lymphoma, a type of cancer that affects the infection-fighting white blood cells in the body. But her biopsy showed no trace of cancer. Instead, she was diagnosed with stage-four lymphatic endometriosis.

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Endometriosis, commonly referred to as endo, is an inflammatory condition that occurs when tissue resembling the uterine lining grows as lesions outside of the uterus. Advancements in the diagnosis and treatment of endometriosis have improved the chronic pain and infertility associated with the condition, but the disease remains understudied, underdiagnosed, and underfunded, leaving some patients to turn to diet as a way to manage their symptoms.

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Endometriosis can spread through the body almost like cancer, clinging to organs like the bladder and stomach. When the lesions become inflamed, patients can experience debilitating pain. But it’s not just pain; research has found that people with endometriosis may also face a higher risk of heart disease and ovarian cancer.

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“ Endometriosis is a disease that we don’t understand a lot about,” said Dr. Ashley Davis, an OB-GYN and endometriosis excision specialist based in Atlanta.

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But what experts do know is that the condition is an inflammatory disease.

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“There’s tissue that’s not supposed to be there inside the, in general, pelvis,” said Dr. Jessica Opoku-Anane, a minimally invasive gynecologic surgeon at Rutgers Health/Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Jersey. “Your body knows it’s not supposed to be there, and it sends out its immune cells to clear out those cells. But those immune cells also secrete inflammatory chemicals that can cause pain, inflammation and scar tissue.”

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Common treatment options for endometriosis include laparoscopic excision surgery, which is considered the current standard for stabilizing endometriosis progression, and hormone therapy, which involves taking medications that decrease estrogen levels and increase progesterone levels, Opoku-Anane added. But with limited research, funding, and long waitlists to see surgeons, patients are often left feeling helpless about how to efficiently manage their symptoms.

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“Patients are just searching for something and we don’t have the answers to give them,” Opoku-Anane said.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Addressing an inflammatory disorder

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That uncertainty has some patients, like Benjamin, turning to diet to help manage their symptoms, despite a lack of clear evidence of its direct impact on the condition. She documents her endometriosis journey in viral TikTok videos—a journey that has meant changing her diet, exercising, and taking a slew of vitamins.

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In one video, Benjamin stands in a brightly lit kitchen with a row of supplements on the counter, including turmeric, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin D3 and K2, collagen, and inositol.

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“Do you take that whole bunch every single day?” I later asked. She nodded yes.

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“ The collagen and the lion’s mane I might take every other day,” she said. “But for the most part, yeah, I’m taking 40 supplements, 40 pills, a day.”

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The overall consideration of nutrition as a factor in endometriosis diagnosis and treatment is becoming increasingly common. Research into the possible effects of diet and anti-inflammatory foods on endometriosis symptoms remains scant and is still relatively new.

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A 2019 study conducted in Sweden on 12 endometriosis patients found that “the participants experienced decreased symptoms and increased well-being after adopting an individually-adapted diet.”

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Opoku-Anane said some supplements, like turmeric, capsaicin (the active component in chili peppers), and ginger, have anti-inflammatory properties.

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“ Endometriosis is very much an inflammatory disorder [and] that research is clear,” said Opoku-Anane. “In my practice, I offer an anti-inflammatory diet to every patient, and I do see a lot of patients do have improvement. This is just from my experience, not data, because we don’t have the resources to confirm it.”

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Feeding the fight

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Some patients might turn to nutrition experts to help alleviate symptoms. Alexis Brooks, a reproductive health dietitian based in Maryland, helps clients with endometriosis, among other health issues.

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Brooks said her process starts with “ a full intake.” She said she reviews everything: medical history, supplements, medications, lifestyle, fitness, sleep schedule, and menstrual cycle. Overwhelmingly, Brooks finds that most patients with endometriosis are undernourished.

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“The biggest macronutrient that’s missed is protein,” she said, as well as magnesium, potassium, zinc, selenium, and iron.

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As a specialist who curates personalized eating guides, Brooks often finds herself frustrated by generic endometriosis diet advice that circulates in online communities and groups. She finds that they tend to neglect the individual experience and lump everyone with the condition together, often suggesting restrictive diets or pushing all patients to cut out foods unnecessarily.

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Restrictive diets may be of particular harm to endometriosis patients, who have been found to have a higher risk of eating disorders than the general population.

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“My philosophy is: We should be able to eat as many things as possible that work with our bodies,” said Brooks. “So I don’t ever want to restrict anything that works for someone’s body.”

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Culturally competent care

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Nyquana Manning, who is in her early 40s, uses Mediterranean-style food habits to help manage her endometriosis. She focuses on getting in salmon, greens, and chickpeas, while avoiding fried or processed foods, which she has noticed worsen her endo symptoms.

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Manning said has a wall full of herbs at home that she frequently replenishes with trips to the botanical store, and she uses different blends to brew anti-inflammatory teas. It’s a practice that closely touches her heritage and roots.

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“I’m half Black, half Honduran,” she said. “There are medicine women in my family. So me learning about herbs is really an ancestral path.”

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Manning’s endometriosis journey started when she was experiencing heavy and painful periods in 2018. Before being diagnosed, she saw a doctor who attributed her pain to age, Manning said.

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It wasn’t until 2023 that she was diagnosed with endometriosis and uterine fibroids, which are noncancerous growths found in the uterus. Her doctor prescribed her progesterone, which stopped her period entirely. To Manning, something was wrong.

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“I didn’t like the way it made my body feel,” she said.

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Manning then asked her OB-GYN if holistic treatment options existed.

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They ran blood tests to evaluate her hormone levels, and then curated a treatment plan that included nutrition and supplements targeted to her specific needs. She regularly assesses how her body feels and whether her symptoms change based on the foods and herbs she consumes.

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Striking a balance

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Not all patients who want to manage their endometriosis with hormones and surgery are able to, according to Opoku-Anane. Some have progesterone-resistant endometriosis, meaning hormonal medication will not work for them. Others cannot take the medication because they are trying to get pregnant. There are also patients who have undergone multiple surgeries, and who have developed scar tissue or nerve pain, Opoku-Anane added.

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She said that she is a proponent of excision surgery for patients who require it, but also that anti-inflammatory diet changes are an option for long-term symptom management. Opoku-Anane added that she has noticed some of her own patients benefit clinically from it.

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“A lot of us are thinking about a more holistic approach to care that includes integrative medicine, largely because it’s very clear that endometriosis is no longer a pelvic disorder,” said Opoku-Anane. “It’s really a whole-body systemic disorder.”

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Opoku-Anane recommended patients consider taking a comprehensive approach to their care by seeing a team of specialists. According to Opoku-Anane, multidisciplinary medical centers with integrative endometriosis care—for example, ones that address endometriosis through surgery, nutrition, acupuncture, and pelvic floor therapy—can help patients with a variety of symptoms better treat their condition by using both traditional and holistic approaches.

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But not all patients can access that kind of comprehensive care.

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Manning said it was a daunting process to find a care team that would listen to her. She said she’s had to switch physicians multiple times until she felt that she was in the right hands.

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”It was important for me to make sure that I am amongst the team of people that will listen to me [and] will hear me,” Manning said.

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“I’ve been intentional with finding physicians that are like that,” she added.

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Opoku-Anane, who currently works at Rutgers University’s hospital system and previously built the Endometriosis and Chronic Pain Pelvic Center at Columbia University’s Irving Medical Center, said that the advantage of academic medicine is that multiple forms of care are available within the same institution already.

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“A patient can just make an appointment and see multiple providers that are at the very same center together,” Opoku-Anane said. “I think that that’s gonna be the future of [endometriosis] care.”

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The post Some Endometriosis Patients Are Changing Their Diets to Manage Symptoms appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This story was originally reported by Shefali Luthra of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

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Amanda Isabel Fanego Cardoso was about 11 weeks pregnant when she was detained in September 2025, then transferred between five immigration facilities over several months. Because her medical care was so limited, she said, it was only after her release in February 2026 that she learned she had developed potentially life-threatening pregnancy-related conditions.

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Cecil Elvir-Quinonez was about eight weeks pregnant and still breastfeeding her 5-month-old when she was detained in January 2026. She received emergency room care on Jan. 6, 2026, after experiencing heavy bleeding and cramps in federal custody. The next day, she was transferred to a detention facility in Louisiana, where, though her bleeding continued, she received no follow-up medical attention or prenatal visits, according to her family.

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A pregnant woman in Minnesota was pulled over by immigration officials on her way to work in January. 2026 While detained, she developed abdominal pain, according to her lawyer. She, her husband and two children were sent to a Texas detention facility that did not have an OB-GYN on staff. A nurse she saw took her blood pressure, but did not do anything to address the stomach pain, said her lawyer, who asked that The 19th not name her or her client, who fears retaliation for speaking about her experience in detention.

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Marianela Leon Espinoza, who was detained in July 2025 in California while pregnant, had only one medical visit during her detention—which was just shy of two months—according to court filings.

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Government detention standards say that when pregnant people are detained, they should receive comprehensive health care, including routine prenatal visits, specialized follow-ups if needed, prenatal vitamins, and proper nutrition and exercise. But court documents and interviews with pregnant detainees and immigration attorneys across the country paint a different picture: Pregnant people in detention facilities say they are receiving sporadic medical visits and slow or limited medical care even when they experience bleeding, pain, and other complications that could threaten their pregnancies. Some who have received medical visits say they were not given test results.

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Allegations of improper medical care for pregnant people are piling up. The 19th has spoken to two women who were pregnant while detained and four attorneys whose clients were pregnant while detained, and reviewed court records related to another similar case from summer 2025. A new report suggests that lack of medical care is endangering pregnant immigrants, who suffer complications in detention and do not receive timely treatment.

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For a report published March 18 from two advocacy groups, the Women’s Refugee Commission and Physicians for Human Rights, researchers traveled to Honduras to spend a week interviewing recently deported people, including three women who were “visibly pregnant” and four who said they were recently postpartum. All four postpartum women had been separated from their children, including one who was just two months old, according to the report. None of the women’s names were published.

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Three pregnant women said they had “little to no medical care, and lack of access to clean water or healthy food,” according to the report, which did not specify where they were detained. Only one said she was taken to a medical facility for prenatal care; she said she was shackled for the entire appointment and monitored by guards even when providing a urine sample.

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In the same report, Honduras-based medical personnel at a center that receives deported immigrants described additional instances of people arriving in the country after receiving limited care for pregnancy-related complications experienced in detention.

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Medical staff described a woman who was deported ten days after being diagnosed with a missed miscarriage—in which a pregnancy is lost but tissue remains in the uterus, raising the risk of infection. She did not receive treatment in the United States, and required emergency medical care upon arriving in Honduras, clinic staff said. Another medical worker described a pregnant woman who, like Elvir-Quinonez, experienced bleeding while in detention but said she did not receive medical care even after informing guards about her condition. She also required hospital care upon reaching Honduras, the worker said.

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The 19th was not able to speak with any of the women in the report or medical personnel referenced in it.

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“You’re putting large numbers of people who might suffer from all kinds of health or life-threatening conditions in this place and then not being attentive to how their bodies might be having health or life-threatening infections,” said Zain Lakhani, a lawyer and director of migrant rights and justice for the Women’s Refugee Commission and one of the report’s authors. “With pregnant people and lactating women, there’s an additional level to the fact that pregnancy is always dangerous.”

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A spokesperson for the Department of Homeland Security said that detention of pregnant people is “exceedingly rare,” and that as of February 16, .18 percent of detained people were pregnant.

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“Pregnant women receive regular prenatal visits, mental health services, nutritional support, and accommodations aligned with community standards of care,” the spokesperson said. “This includes medical, dental, and mental health intake screening within 12 hours of arriving at each detention facility, a full health assessment within 14 days of entering ICE custody or arrival at a facility, and access to necessary medical appointments and 24-hour emergency care. This is the best health care many of these individuals have received in their entire lives.”

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The same spokesperson said that use of restraints on a pregnant person only occurs “in the exceedingly rare situation where doing so would protect the life and safety of the detainee.”

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But the spokesperson did not specifically answer questions about how the agency responds to incidents such as missed miscarriage or bleeding, including in Elvir-Quinonez’s case. ICE said that Elvir-Quinonez received “full medical treatment” while in detention.

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Espinoza already knew about her pregnancy when she was detained in mid-July 2025, and per court filings, her doctors deemed her high-risk because of a previous miscarriage. While detained, her lawyers wrote, her only medical attention was a “summary visit with a clinician where she received vitamins and folic acid.”

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When asked about Espinoza’s prenatal care specifically, the DHS spokesperson said she was released 23 days after her pregnancy was confirmed. Women are supposed to be tested for pregnancy upon being detained.

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Espinoza first petitioned for release on August 29, 2025, and a judge ordered her release at the beginning of September.

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Some pregnant patients have received regular health care in detention facilities, including weekly prenatal visits, attorneys said. But just how common that is—versus how many are receiving limited medical care, at best—is difficult to ascertain.

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But under President Donald Trump, DHS has stopped providing reports tracking how many pregnant, postpartum, or nursing immigrants are in detention facilities, or detailing the conditions of facilities. Dating back to fall 2019, DHS used to release reports every six months. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has not responded to repeated requests from The 19th for detailed reports, including one filed through the federal Freedom of Information Act.

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“People do get taken for visits sometimes, and it depends on the whim of the officers taking care of them, whether or not the people working in the clinic inside the detention center advocate or push for it,” said Amanda Hefferman, a longtime nurse-midwife and professor of midwifery at Seattle University who has worked with many pregnant detainees and studied their treatment in government facilities. “It’s not set up for any type of consistency or regularity—which is exactly what prenatal care is.”

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Immigrant rights advocates have raised concerns about the conditions and the consequences for immigrants’ health. Multiple facilities have been forced to impose quarantines because of measles outbreaks. Last year, ICE reported 31 detainee deaths, the highest number since 2004 and more than over the entire course of the Biden administration. At least 11 have died so far this year. Most detainees died after experiencing medical complications, including one man whose family said he died because of an infection stemming from an untreated toothache. None of these people were pregnant or postpartum.

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“The extreme risk is clear,” Lakhani said.

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Cardoso, 22, said she received few medical visits over the several months she was detained, with visits under supervision of facility guards. Clinical staff would use a stethoscope to check for cardiac activity, but did not perform any ultrasounds. When she received blood tests, she said, she was never informed of the results. Her doctors have not received any medical records from when she was detained, despite repeated requests, according to her lawyer. People detained by ICE have a legal right to their medical records, but the process of obtaining them can be complicated and cumbersome, Lakhani said.

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The DHS spokesperson said that Cardoso saw an offsite OB-GYN “regularly” while detained, and that the agency provides medical records to any detainee who requests them.

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“One time I fainted and fell and I asked them to please make sure everything was good with the baby. And they only heard the heartbeat and they said everything’s OK,” Cardoso said in Spanish.

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Now back home in Florida, Cardoso is seeing a doctor who has diagnosed her with preeclampsia and gestational diabetes. She is not sure if she developed those conditions while detained or after her release. While detained, she received the same meals as everyone else: dishes like pasta, rice, and chicken.

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“The days would pass, and I wasn’t able to know how my baby was,” she said.

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Her doctors have given her a tentative due date of March 27, 2026. They are concerned about the health of her pregnancy, noting that the fetus has been losing weight. Cardoso said doctors are scheduling extra visits to ensure that her daughter is growing appropriately.

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ICE has abandoned a guidance that discouraged the detention of pregnant, postpartum and nursing individuals—putting more people into facilities that may not have onsite medical specialists who are equipped for pregnancy care. Research examining 21 detention facilities from 2019 to 2022 found that most did not have a continuous doctor on staff for at least a year. Detention centers have pushed to hire more medical providers in the past year.

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After being transferred to a Louisiana facility in early January 2026, Elvir-Quinonez waited until the end of February for her first doctors’ visit, according to her cousin Genesis Turcio. At that visit, she was found to have high blood pressure and to be at risk of preeclampsia. Days later, on March 5, she was deported to Honduras.

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Elvir-Quinonez is now about 16 weeks pregnant. She has not received any treatment for her blood pressure. Her brother is visiting her in an effort to help her find long-term housing and appropriate medical care.

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“They’re really providing no health care in there,” Turcio said. “She’s not really that good.”

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Her two sons are still in Florida, staying with her family. They have been told their mom is traveling for work. Elvir-Quinonez’s baby, less than a year old, still doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, Turcio said. But her 5-year-old often asks where his mom is, and when she’ll be home.

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“He still asks for his mommy every night,” she said.

The post Detained pregnant people are entitled to full medical care. They say it’s not happening appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Georgia woman charged with murder for alleged abortion

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Georgia’s abortion ban doesn’t allow people who end their pregnancies to be prosecuted. But that didn’t stop police from charging a woman with felony murder—or the news media from plastering her face online. The woman visited the ER for pain in late 2025, after she allegedly took the abortion drug misoprostol. She later delivered prematurely, and staff reported her to the police. The “unprecedented” murder charge, one advocate said to Jezebel, “will cause untold harm to this woman and the women of Georgia.”

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Will Title X funding lapse?

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Today is the last day reproductive health-care clinics can apply for federal Title X Family Planning Program funding grants, which currently provide more than $200 million for STI testing, breast cancer screening, birth control, and other health services. Clinics expected the Trump administration to issue application guidelines in late 2025, but they didn’t come until last week, creating a scramble to make deadline. Current funding runs out April 1. Since application review can take months, funding gaps are feared, POLITICO reported.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Judge temporarily bars new CDC vaccine policy, suspends RFK Jr.’s expert panel

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HHS Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. faced multiple setbacks in court this week. Declaring vaccines to be one of science’s “greatest achievements,” a Massachusetts federal judge temporarily blocked the CDC’s updated childhood vaccine schedule. The judge also suspended all members of the CDC vaccine panel picked by RFK Jr., scolding them for endorsing an unscientific plan. Yesterday, a federal judge in Oregon also sidelined RFK Jr.’s attempt to restrict gender-affirming care for minors, declaring he did not have the legal authority to decide that such care is “neither safe nor effective as a treatment.” The decision temporarily allows health-care providers to continue providing these services.

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The post Georgia Woman Charged With Murder in Apparent Self-Managed Abortion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or text “START” to 887888. Free and confidential resources are available 24/7 in Spanish and 290 other languages.

In the heart of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn stands Bethlehem Lutheran Church, built in 1929. Featuring a Gothic-style stained-glass window, a cross at the very top of the church’s right-side tower, and an American flag mounted on a tall silver flagpole on the left side. Inside, sunlight filters through the windows, one of which reads: “God is Love.”

The chapel is frequented by the primarily white congregants who attend the 10:30 a.m. Sunday service. But each week, some visitors from a different background come to Bethlehem Lutheran for a different reason.

Adjacent to the church, behind an unmarked door, is the Healing Center. It has a gray sofa, purple curtains, and a frame with positive affirmations in Spanish: “Soy valiente. Soy inteligente. Yo merezco amor y felicidad.”

“I am brave. I am intelligent. I deserve love and happiness.”

The Trump administration’s aggressive immigration operations have been keeping people away from houses of worship nationwide. But this Brooklyn parish’s congregation isn’t afraid—and they’ve joined forces with a local organization to ensure a vulnerable population in their community—immigrant survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault—gets the support it needs.

Everyone is welcome

From the moment visitors step inside Bethlehem Lutheran, the church makes clear that its doors are open to everyone, regardless of race or background.

Pastor Paul Knudsen has led services for 30 years, and in 2014, Tony Clemente joined him as deacon. To see a white pastor and a Puerto Rican deacon leading the service is welcoming, Knudsen said.

“It doesn’t matter who comes through the door,” he added. “We’re going to welcome whoever they are.”

That philosophy of openness is what inspired the partnership between a domestic violence nonprofit and the church.

The Healing Center was founded in 2000 by activist Antonia Clemente, a 72-year resident of nearby Sunset Park and the wife of Deacon Clemente. The idea came from her experience doing work with a support group in a domestic violence shelter. She remembers a woman who would not lift her head to make direct eye contact during a discussion on empowerment, no matter how much Clemente encouraged her.

When she finally did, she saw a scar on the woman’s face.

“I think at that point is where I began to feel a sense of [a] call,” Clemente said.

The New York State Department of Health defines domestic violence as a pattern of behaviors used to establish and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These can include physical, mental, financial, and verbal abuse, threats, and actions that may or may not constitute criminal acts such as isolation from family and friends, gaslighting, and controlling. Domestic violence can affect anyone—regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, class, or religion.

“[Domestic violence is] about power and control over another person, where they lose their own autonomy,” Clemente said.

For immigrant women, it can be even more complex. Studies show that Latina immigrants often confront silence and stigma around domestic violence, which research suggests may derive from a patriarchal cultural belief that women should maintain their roles as wives and mothers and prioritize their children and husband over their well-being.

Latina immigrants who experience domestic violence frequently run up against multiple obstacles when seeking help, including economic dependency on their partner, language barriers in courts and police stations, and other systemic failures.

Religion is known for being a key player in shaping values, social norms, and community life. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 70 percent of Latino adults identify with a religion. In some of these traditions, religious interpretations reflect patriarchal views limiting women.

That is not the image of God promoted at Bethlehem Lutheran, Knudsen said.

“We believe in a God who wants us to be our own people, that everybody’s on the same level together,” he said. “No one is to be lording it over anybody else here in this world.”

A study conducted at DePaul University in Chicago found that faith leaders’ approach to domestic violence is shaped by their religious beliefs. Psychologist Jaclyn Houston-Kolnik surveyed 20 Protestant religious leaders and learned that many had no training in the topic. That created uncertainty in responding, and they often referred cases to more experienced professionals, such as counselors.

New York State Assemblywoman Maritza Davila, who represents Brooklyn’s 53rd district, believes more churches should engage their communities in these kinds of difficult—and at times, dangerous—conversations.

“The church needs to do more in opening up the door and allowing professionals to come in and have this discussion with the parishioners,” Davila said. “Just giving them the information can be enough.”

Between 2015 and 2024, Hispanic women represented nearly 30 percent of New York City intimate partner homicides despite accounting for just under 15 percent of the city’s population.

Davila was instrumental in passing a 2018 state law requiring telephone and cable television companies to allow domestic violence victims to cancel contracts when a police report, protection order, or sworn affidavit is provided—without penalty. The National Network to End Domestic Violence found that 97 percent of survivors have been harassed, monitored, or threatened by perpetrators misusing technology.

‘You need to be doing God’s work seven days a week’

It took Clemente more than a year to bring her idea for the Healing Center to fruition.

When she first proposed the idea of opening a center to provide services and resources to Spanish-speaking survivors of domestic violence, both church leadership at Bethlehem Lutheran—then located in nearby Sunset Park—and the congregation had been skeptical.

People asked, “Who are the people that are coming? Was this going to be a shelter? What happens if a man comes? What happens? What are the things that we needed to have in place?” Clemente said. “They were, they were valid questions.”

By 2000, the congregation had come around. The church’s then-pastor at that time offered a small space in the church’s kitchen, and within months, the space was too small.

After struggling to navigate rising neighborhood rents in the search of a larger, more suitable location, Clemente eventually found a new home for the center at a fundraising event at her son’s Lutheran Elementary School. There, she spoke to Knudsen, who suggested an available space adjacent to the church.

In 2008, the center officially moved into its new home. The Healing Center is a social ministry—one of very few ministries in the country addressing gender-based violence affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.

That really shouldn’t be so rare, said Dr. Gina Foster, a professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice who has provided cross-cultural crisis counseling for survivors of domestic violence.

“A faith-based organization that understands community and the importance of embracing the whole human being … can work really well with a nonprofit,” Foster said.

Knudsen agreed.

“Any church that just worships on a Sunday morning and then doesn’t do anything all week long is completely off track,” he said. “Yes, worship is important for us, but you need to be doing God’s work seven days a week.”

Children witness domestic violence in nearly 1 in 4 cases filed in state courts, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

That knowledge informs the Center, which provides help for all family members affected by domestic abuse, as well as its holistic support system—which starts with Cafecito, a Tuesday program where mothers come together to support one another over coffee and pan dulce, or sweet bread.

“I take off work to go to Cafecito, after Cafecito I take the day for myself,” Fortaleza, a domestic abuse survivor and single mother whose name has been withheld for her safety, said in Spanish.

Fortaleza came across the Healing Center at a street fair one Sunday afternoon. She had sought support before, but hit so many barriers: transportation, time, and having to end her therapy sessions when her insurance became inactive.

Today, the Healing Center is a meaningful, “empowering” part of her life, and a source of friendship.

“Being heard is the most beautiful thing,” Fortaleza said.

The church also hosts the Hi-5 program, which provides therapy for children who have experienced and witnessed domestic violence. The program Daughters of the Lotus offers support to teenage girls.

“It’s [an] intergenerational approach,” Healing Center Executive Director Noeline Maldonado said. “We’re gonna continue to take care of the whole family, the unit, for however long it takes.”

The Center is also thoughtfully intercultural, as it serves a Brooklyn neighborhood where many residents come from Mexico and Central America.

“Culture plays a big part,” Maldonado said.

Faith and healing shape the relationship between the church and the center, she said.

“The congregation is so committed to the work that we’re doing … they put their money where their mouth is,” Maldonado said.

Davila pointed out that with comprehensive assistance, survivors can pursue new paths.

“Addressing domestic violence holistically can really make a difference,” Davila said. “We know women with doctorates right now who were once abused and helped this way.”

The Center is active on social media, participates in community tables, and receives referrals from schools, hospitals, precincts, nonprofits, and community organizations. For many survivors, these networks are often how they first learn that help exists.

Churches under ICE threat

Fear of deportation can prevent undocumented immigrants in violent situations from reporting the abuse to law enforcement.

Officially, abuse victims qualify for federal protection from deportation through the T and U visa programs. But in practice, schools and churches are frequent sources of refuge because of their longstanding status as government-free asylum spaces.

Since the Trump administration began aggressively abducting people on the streets of major U.S. cities and removed asylum protections from schools and churches in January 2025, however, church attendance nationwide has declined markedly. Dozens of religious groups are suing the government, saying the raids infringe on their religious freedom to minister to all their congregants—including undocumented migrants.

Still, Maldonado finds that even in this climate of fear, more people actually come to the Center for services.

“They’re relying on us even more, especially since we’ve pivoted and worked with local legislators,” Maldonado said. “They trust us, and … we help them know their rights.”

Today, some research, including a recent study from the Hunter College School of Social Work, suggests that immigration status—more than cultural or language barriers—is the biggest factor in whether and how domestic violence is responded to in immigrant households.

Despite ICE threats and cultural pressures within religious communities, the Latino immigrant community of South Brooklyn has a safe space to tell their stories and prioritize their well-being. Fortaleza wants every woman in a difficult situation who needs to hear that message of hope.

“If I can do it,” she said, “so can they.”

The post Immigrants Survivors of Domestic Abuse Find Refuge and Community at Brooklyn Church appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Immigrants, Survivors, Domestic, Abuse, Find, Refuge, and, Community, Brooklyn, Church", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Brooklyn-Church-Breaks-Stigma.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/23/abuse-immigrant-domestic-violence-healing-center-brooklyn/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-23 11:43:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166713", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is ASMR? The Science of Why Soft Sounds Calm Us Down", "title_slug": "what-is-asmr-the-science-of-why-soft-sounds-calm-us-down", "title_hash": "0931c120ba05ad23156917634223c322", "summary": "What is asmr? Get all your questions answered, and take steps to deepen the connection you and your partner share.\nThe post What Is ASMR? The Science of Why Soft Sounds Calm Us Down appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

What is asmr? Get all your questions answered, and take steps to deepen the connection you and your partner share.

The post What Is ASMR? The Science of Why Soft Sounds Calm Us Down appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "What, ASMR, The, Science, Why, Soft, Sounds, Calm, Down", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/goosebumps-1-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-asmr/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 12:11:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166712", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What is Gratitude? And is it the Antidote to Contempt", "title_slug": "what-is-gratitude-and-is-it-the-antidote-to-contempt", "title_hash": "47cbd91499fd7e3d41620d659e0245c3", "summary": "Gratitude can build stronger relationships. Learn about the Gottman principals and how to use them in your day to day relationships.\nThe post What is Gratitude? And is it the Antidote to Contempt appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Gratitude can build stronger relationships. Learn about the Gottman principals and how to use them in your day to day relationships.

The post What is Gratitude? And is it the Antidote to Contempt appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "What, Gratitude, And, the, Antidote, Contempt", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/gratitude-blog-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-gratitude/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 12:11:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166711", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Decoding the Roles of Therapist, Counselor and Psychiatrist", "title_slug": "decoding-the-roles-of-therapist-counselor-and-psychiatrist", "title_hash": "b39528b46132ded132bdf92a2ef779a4", "summary": "When you and your partner decide to seek help for your relationship, it’s a brave and meaningful first step. But it can quickly become confusing to navigate the different mental […]\nThe post Decoding the Roles of Therapist, Counselor and Psychiatrist appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

When you and your partner decide to seek help for your relationship, it’s a brave and meaningful first step. But it can quickly become confusing to navigate the different mental […]

The post Decoding the Roles of Therapist, Counselor and Psychiatrist appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Decoding, the, Roles, Therapist, Counselor, and, Psychiatrist", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-2229540862.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/decoding-the-roles-of-therapist-counselor-and-psychiatrist/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 12:11:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166551", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Girl Types: Clueless Girls", "title_slug": "girl-types-clueless-girls", "title_hash": "e9361d8c7cf3a747b5fc3911aaeaf6ad", "summary": "Clueless girls: those girls who don’t ‘get’ men, find men endlessly frustrating/mystifying, constantly complain about men, and date one man after the next. What’s their deal, anyway?\nThere’s a very special type of girl out there.\nShe doesn’t know why men do what they do.\nShe finds male behavior the most mystifying thing on Earth.\nShe stumbles again and again into relationships with men who are ‘all wrong’ for her.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"clueless$ Clueless girls: those girls who don’t ‘get’ men, find men endlessly frustrating/mystifying, constantly complain about men, and date one man after the next. What’s their deal, anyway?

There’s a very special type of girl out there.

She doesn’t know why men do what they do.

She finds male behavior the most mystifying thing on Earth.

She stumbles again and again into relationships with men who are ‘all wrong’ for her.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Girl, Types:, Clueless, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/clueless-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/girl-types-clueless-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166549", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Are \"High-End Venues\"? Are They Worth Going to for Girls?", "title_slug": "what-are-high-end-venues-are-they-worth-going-to-for-girls", "title_hash": "c9bff4973d6bec75daf0fe0d7baf7592", "summary": "Veteran seducer Alek Rolstad discusses why high-end venues are some of the best night spots to pick up: great ratios, low sex shields, high trust, & more.\nHey guys, welcome back.\nToday (as well as next week), I wish to discuss a nightgame-related subject – namely high-end venues.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"are$ Veteran seducer Alek Rolstad discusses why high-end venues are some of the best night spots to pick up: great ratios, low sex shields, high trust, & more.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today (as well as next week), I wish to discuss a nightgame-related subject – namely high-end venues.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "What, Are, High-End, Venues, Are, They, Worth, Going, for, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/high-end-venues-what-are-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/what-are-high-end-venues-are-they-worth-going-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166550", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Women Claim \"That Would Never Work on Me\" Then It Does", "title_slug": "why-women-claim-that-would-never-work-on-me-then-it-does", "title_hash": "95d8eb5c6d976b99f7cee7fb878c2286", "summary": "Women often claim “that would never work on me.” Except… the things they say don’t work on them DO. Why do they say it won’t work when it DOES?\nYou may have heard women say “That would never work on me” before.\nWomen generally say this about any kind of flirtation or seduction tactic they might hear about.\nThey say it about:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"when$ Women often claim “that would never work on me.” Except… the things they say don’t work on them DO. Why do they say it won’t work when it DOES?

You may have heard women say “That would never work on me” before.

Women generally say this about any kind of flirtation or seduction tactic they might hear about.

They say it about:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Women, Claim, That, Would, Never, Work, Me, Then, Does", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/that-would-never-work-on-me-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-women-claim-would-never-work-me-then-it-does", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166547", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: \"What Are You Even Saying?\"", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-what-are-you-even-saying", "title_hash": "1ca2a3137582c49ab881fe59e4a05bbc", "summary": "Girl resisting you in some annoying way? Is she haughty, self-important, or claiming you must follow her rules? Say this & knock her off her high horse!\nIt is time for another dastardly tactic from the master of dastardly tactics!\nSo dastardly it leaves women thrown for a loop each time you use it!\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"what$ Girl resisting you in some annoying way? Is she haughty, self-important, or claiming you must follow her rules? Say this & knock her off her high horse!

It is time for another dastardly tactic from the master of dastardly tactics!

So dastardly it leaves women thrown for a loop each time you use it!

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, What, Are, You, Even, Saying", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/what-are-you-even-saying-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-what-are-you-even-saying", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166548", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When It's Going Well with a Girl, Keep Spending Time with Her", "title_slug": "when-its-going-well-with-a-girl-keep-spending-time-with-her", "title_hash": "3b0b5bc602a2870c01a0344bfdefe7f6", "summary": "Many guys bail on girls it’s going well with… only to never see those girls again. Want to get those girls, not lose them? Keep spending time with them!\nI see guys do this a lot:\nThey have a girl they’ve met, or they’re on a date, and it’s going really well, and then at some point the guys end things on their own and leave.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"keep$ Many guys bail on girls it’s going well with… only to never see those girls again. Want to get those girls, not lose them? Keep spending time with them!

I see guys do this a lot:

They have a girl they’ve met, or they’re on a date, and it’s going really well, and then at some point the guys end things on their own and leave.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "When, Its, Going, Well, with, Girl, Keep, Spending, Time, with, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/keep-spending-time-with-her-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/when-its-going-well-girl-keep-spending-time-her", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166546", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Stop Falling for the Wrong People", "title_slug": "how-to-stop-falling-for-the-wrong-people", "title_hash": "dfdda277de0933c653249dec7652932c", "summary": "Life's Short. Here's How to Stop Falling for the Wrong People", "content": "Same heartbreak, different person. Maybe you keep chasing unavailable people, finding yourself being strung along, or trying to “rescue” someone. \r\nIf it feels like you always fall for the wrong people, it’s likely not just bad luck — it’s a pattern. The good news is, once you become aware of it, you can change it. \r\n“I've worked with men for close to a decade and I continuously find one common thread,” says Amalya Tagakchyan, LCSW, therapist and CEO at Untangled Path Therapy. \r\n“The sooner they recognize there is a [damaging] pattern and where it stems from — in other words, work on their self-awareness and unlock vulnerability, the sooner they can break it,” she explains. \r\nOf course, no one sets out to fall for the wrong person. It often starts with attraction and chemistry. Problematic relationship dynamics aren’t always obvious. You might just think you’re following your gut or have a “type.” \r\nRELATED: What It Means to Have a 'Type' in a Dating Context\r\nBut if the same disappointments keep showing up, it’s worth looking deeper. Here’s what it means if you keep falling for people who aren’t good for you, why you’re attracted to them in the first place and how to end the cycle. \r\n\r\nWhat Falling for the Wrong People Means\r\n\r\nIt’s going to sound surprising, but if you keep being attracted to people who end up breaking your heart, some unconscious part of you is afraid of real love, says Alyson Curtis, LMHC, therapist and owner of Attuned Therapy. It may mean that there’s an attachment wound that needs healing. \r\nWhat’s an attachment wound? It’s an emotional scar that stems from your early relationships, usually your family of origin. It doesn’t always mean that you had a bad childhood or caregivers. But if the love you received was conditional or unpredictable in any way, you may have learned a flawed version of what love and intimacy are supposed to feel like — even that it’s supposed to be painful. \r\nFor example, if your dad always criticized your hobbies or appearance, you end up in relationships with partners who put you down. If your mom was emotionally distant, you pursue women who don’t show much affection. These aren’t 100% predictive or locked in stone by any means — human beings are complex creatures, after all — but they can be a key to unhealthy dating and relationship patterns. \r\nRELATED: How Understanding Attachment Theory Can Help You \r\nThere are different types of attachment wounds that can manifest in many different ways. The key takeaway? Regardless of how the story plays out for you, falling for the wrong people is a sign that something unresolved deserves your attention. \r\n\r\nBeing Attracted to People Who Are Bad for You \r\n\r\nSo, why do we keep perpetuating childhood wounds as adults? \r\n“In adulthood, we unconsciously try to have a corrective experience from the messed-up version of love we witnessed while growing up,” says Curtis, who adds that the pattern goes something like, “If I could just convince this girl to like me, to treat me better, then I’d know I am lovable.” \r\nAgain, this isn’t typically conscious. Most people believe they want to find love. But you have to look at what’s going on in your relationships to get intel about your true underlying beliefs, adds Curtis. \r\nIf a pattern keeps happening, it’s because it’s oddly comfortable and familiar. \r\n“We all make choices in partners from a place of filling a need or a place of comfort,” says Tagakchyan. “We may recreate dynamics, even those that are unhealthy or dysfunctional, because it's the only way we know to feel safe.”\r\nRELATED: How to Know If You're in an Unhealthy Relationship \r\n\r\nHow to End the Cycle for Good \r\n\r\nReady to end the cycle? It can take time, introspection and professional help. But it doesn’t always need to feel heavy or overwhelming. The first step is to recognize that a pattern exists. \r\nHeal From Your Past \r\nThen, ask yourself if you’ve truly healed from past relationships. Are you over your ex? Be honest about your readiness to be in a healthy relationship, recommends Tagakchyan. Therapy can help with this step. \r\nRELATED: Benefits From Therapy That Change the Way You Live Life \r\nFigure Out What You Want \r\nNext, get clear about what you’re looking for: Are you ready to choose someone who matches the emotional maturity, values and qualities that you bring to the table? What are your non-negotiables? \r\nStart Choosing Differently \r\nBut here’s the thing: Even if you feel ready and know what you want and deserve, \r\nit doesn’t mean old patterns won’t show up. You may still feel drawn to people who reflect your past. Shifting your mindset and making different decisions is crucial. This is where real change happens. \r\nWhoever you’re telling yourself is your “type” might actually be your pattern. That subtle change in language matters. \r\nAs Curtis puts it, “that difference in word choice reminds you that who you think you’re attracted to is not set in stone, purely instinctual and unable to be changed— it’s merely a habitual pattern derived from your conditioned beliefs on love.” \r\nChallenge Your ‘Type’ \r\nSo, challenge your “type.” Instead, use instant attraction as a sign to proceed with caution. \r\n“Date people you’d normally not date. Give second and third dates to people you’d normally write off. You want to go against your instincts a bit, because your ‘instincts’ are telling you to go after people who are wrong for you,” says Curtis. \r\nRELATED: How to Stop Being a Snob About Who You Date \r\nIt isn’t about dating people you don’t feel attracted to, but staying open and curious. Don’t go swiping with a hardened view of who your person needs to be, adds Curtis: “You’ll set yourself up to play right back into your old pattern.” \r\nDate With Purpose \r\nUse dating as an opportunity to shift gears, because what feels familiar could be part of the problem — and what you immediately dismiss could be part of the solution. For example, if you tend to progress relationships quickly, practice taking your time. If dating someone kind and emotionally available feels boring, explore the connection before dismissing it. \r\nThat’s where the real growth begins. And you may just end up falling for the right person in the process. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow Men Can Work on Improving Their Emotional Intelligence Here's How to Communicate Your Needs While DatingLies Pop Culture Taught Us About Love & Romance", "keywords": "How, Stop, Falling, for, the, Wrong, People", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-to-stop-falling-for-the-wrong-people/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1746019791.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-to-stop-falling-for-the-wrong-people.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166545", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Relationship Fights — Everything You Need to Know", "title_slug": "relationship-fights-everything-you-need-to-know", "title_hash": "8f6e20a291f8d8725c525c717d6517e7", "summary": "You already know that every couple fights, but did you know that most couples fight about the same things?\r\nAs unique as your arguments may feel in the moment, couples’ therapists see the same issues all day long, from all sorts of people.\r\nWhile persistent discord is a sign that you should visit a therapist together, there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel when it comes to finding solutions to the fights everyone else is having.\r\nRELATED: The 5 Conflict Styles & When to Use Them in a Relationship\r\nHere are a few common fights couples have, and some quick tips on how to resolve them:\r\n\r\nWhat You Should Know About Fights in Relationships\r\n\r\nDisagreements happen in all human relationships, whether romantic or otherwise. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having different stances, opinions or beliefs from your partner, nor is there anything wrong with feeling angry or frustrated with them from time to time.\r\nIn fact, never fighting is actually a potential relationship issue — the healt", "content": "You already know that every couple fights, but did you know that most couples fight about the same things?\r\nAs unique as your arguments may feel in the moment, couples’ therapists see the same issues all day long, from all sorts of people.\r\nWhile persistent discord is a sign that you should visit a therapist together, there’s no reason to reinvent the wheel when it comes to finding solutions to the fights everyone else is having.\r\nRELATED: The 5 Conflict Styles & When to Use Them in a Relationship\r\nHere are a few common fights couples have, and some quick tips on how to resolve them:\r\n\r\nWhat You Should Know About Fights in Relationships\r\n\r\nDisagreements happen in all human relationships, whether romantic or otherwise. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having different stances, opinions or beliefs from your partner, nor is there anything wrong with feeling angry or frustrated with them from time to time.\r\nIn fact, never fighting is actually a potential relationship issue — the healthiest couples distinguish themselves not by a complete lack of disagreement, but by the way in which they handle their arguments.\r\nHowever, just because emotions running high can turn a disagreement into an argument into a fight doesn’t mean that there’s nothing wrong with fighting, ever.\r\nRELATED: How to Handle a Relationship Argument\r\nIf you or your partner take these opportunities to be cruel or to inflict physical or psychological harm on each other, or if they’re happening often enough that they’re dominating the emotional landscape of the relationship, that’s a problem.\r\nIf you find yourself talking to friends, family or loved ones often about the fights in your relationship, or seeking out advice online about them, that could be a sign that things have turned toxic. Which doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be saved, but it does mean that the issue of fighting needs to be addressed.\r\n\r\n5 Common Things That Almost All Couples Fight About\r\n\r\n1. Attention\r\nThis sounds like: “All you do is stare at your phone!”\r\nWith the 40-hour work week turning into a 24/7 battle with email and text notifications, it’s not surprising so many couples are facing the “just put down your phone” battle on a regular basis.\r\nFurthermore, it’s no secret that phones and apps are designed to be addictive. It’s no wonder that “phone snubbing” happens even when we’re around those we care about the most. How to deal: Total banishment of the phone isn’t practical. Instead, set a time period when both of your phones will be turned off that you can hang out and bond.\r\nYou can also make a pact not to look at your phones when you're out together. Set a consequence for the first person to break the rules, like having to do the dishes or take out the trash that week.\r\nOr make it fun — the first one to look at their phone owes the other the sexual favor of their choice. That should break some of the tension!Definitely don’t say: “I’m just really bored.” \r\nYou’re only bored if you allow yourself to be. This is the person you love, find something to talk about!\r\n2. Money\r\nThis sounds like: “You spend too much money!”\r\nIf you’re at the stage where you’re sharing expenses and a bank account, that’s a huge change from when you were single. If you spent too much money back then, there was no one to blame except yourself. But now you’re staring down shopping bags or surprising charges, and it’s someone else making those decisions.\r\nRELATED: Most Common Money Fights in Relationships, RevealedHow to deal: You might consider using a “yours, mine, ours” structure for your money so you don’t fight over personal spending.\r\nCouples therapist Jennifer Aull explains: “The shared expenses go into a central pool and are spent according to an agreed-upon method. The other two pools of money — mine and yours — represent some money each person has complete control over.”\r\nDefinitely don’t say: “What I spend is none of your business!”\r\nEven if you have separate accounts, or you make more than your partner, your spending patterns can impact both of you.\r\nIt may feel uncomfortable to be called out, but being able to talk through your habits when it comes to money now may save you a lot of trouble down the road, since budgeting and spending together is an important part of most long-term relationships.\r\n3. Sex\r\nThis sounds like: “We aren’t having enough sex!”\r\nThis is one of the toughest fights of all, because sex is a barometer for so much in our lives, from our physical health to our stress levels.\r\nDr. Adam Sheck, a clinical psychologist, explains that sex can be both the symptom and the cause: “Sex, on a basic physical, instinctual level, is about tension and release of tension.”\r\nTherefore, couples who aren’t getting what they need, sexually, may create conflict on an unconscious level in order to try to fabricate a deeper level of tension.\r\nRELATED: How to Ask Your Partner to Initiate Sex More\r\nWhat does all that mean? Something we already know: That sex (or lack thereof) can cause a lot of drama — and for good reason!How to deal: Have an honest talk where each of you expresses, in non-blaming words, why sex matters and what you get from it. Maybe your partner feels unattractive. Are there other ways to show that you’re into them physically? It’s possible your partner feels like you don’t even care that your libido has plummeted.\r\nVisiting your doctor for a hormone test, or seeing a sex therapist might show that you’re taking it seriously. One thing Dr. Sheck notes is that if both partners are willing to give it a try, sometimes just “doing it,” even when you’re not feeling hot and heavy, can help shift the mood.Definitely don’t say: “You’re my girlfriend, you have to have sex with me.”\r\nSorry, but even in relationships, nobody is ever owed sex. Coercion is not only illegal, it’s the last thing that’s going to make your partner want you.\r\n4. Housework & Domestic Labor\r\nThis sounds like: “You’re not doing enough around the house!”\r\nYou’d think we would’ve learned by now that fighting about chores is even more boring than the chores themselves!\r\nRELATED: Housework Can Have a Big Impact on Your Relationship\r\nHow to deal: Sit down together, each of you with your own pen and paper, and rank all of the work you do in a day with a number, as well as the work around the house that needs to get done.\r\nThis list will include everything from your day job to carpooling to cleaning up dishes. If a chore is fun for you, maybe you give it a 1. If something else is miserable, rank it a 10.\r\nWhen you’re done with the exercise, each of you should end up with about the same number for your total chore value. If not, do some shifting around until you both think your workload is fair.\r\nRELATED: The Danger of Treating Your Girlfriend Like Your Mother\r\nDefinitely don’t say: “You’re just lazy.” or “You’re a complete neat freak.”\r\nEveryone has different approaches to domestic labor and chores, but invalidating your partner’s is a path to more fights. Trying to understand their approach and find a compromise so that neither of you feels overwhelmed by mess or by work can go a long way.\r\n5. Feeling Loved\r\nThis sounds like: “You don’t appreciate me!”\r\nOne of the hardest conflicts to resolve happens when someone doesn’t feel valued. What makes this even tougher is that we often feel like if we have to ask for recognition, it doesn’t really count.\r\nRELATED: Compliments Women Can't ResistHow to deal: Say it out loud. Don’t assume your partner knows how much you appreciate them. Dr. Bill Cloke, a couples therapist and author of the book Happy Together, explains that men and women often need to hear totally different things to feel valued.\r\nAccording to Cloke, men, in general, need to hear that the work they do is appreciated, and that the sacrifices they make are recognized. Women, on the other hand, tend to need to hear that they are heard and understood, not to mention cherished.Definitely don’t say: “You should just know that I love you and appreciate you.”\r\nSorry, that’s simply not how it works. Say it loud, and say it proud: “I appreciate you!” Words of Affirmation is literally one of the five main love languages. For many people, not hearing reassuring and supportive words from a partner can feel like they’re being emotionally starved.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nProblematic Relationship Behaviors It's Time to Stop RomanticizingHere's How to Recover From a Bad Fight With Your PartnerFights Every Couple Has Before Breaking Up", "keywords": "Relationship, Fights, —, Everything, You, Need, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2018/05/02-044830-relationship_fights.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/relationship-fights.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166543", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Hookup Sites and Apps in 2026", "title_slug": "best-hookup-sites-and-apps-in-2026", "title_hash": "4a35af43b4fadb77483ad1a2025ade0b", "summary": "AskMen's Top 10 Best Hookup Sites and Apps\r\n\r\n\tAdultFriendFinder\r\n\tiHookUp\r\n\tFriendFinder-X\r\n\tPassion\r\n\tGet It On\r\n\tAshley Madison\r\n\tXMatch \r\n\tFriend Finder \r\n\tPlenty of Fish\r\n\tMatch\r\n\r\nSometimes you want to find lasting love, and sometimes you want to find some short-term thrills.\r\nIf that’s you right now, maybe it’s because you just got out of a long, serious relationship, and you’re in the mood for a one-night stand to help you put your breakup in the rearview mirror. Maybe you’ve been working yourself ragged at the office, too busy with other aspects of life to be a good partner to anyone, but you don’t want to sacrifice every aspect of dating. \r\nRegardless, you shouldn't feel guilty for your decision. It’s true that being a partner, boyfriend or husband can be deeply fulfilling, but if you’re not ready for it, no one can force you to be. The truth of the matter? There are lots of people out there more than willing to get involved in some no-strings-attached action with you. Despi", "content": "AskMen's Top 10 Best Hookup Sites and Apps\r\n\r\n\tAdultFriendFinder\r\n\tiHookUp\r\n\tFriendFinder-X\r\n\tPassion\r\n\tGet It On\r\n\tAshley Madison\r\n\tXMatch \r\n\tFriend Finder \r\n\tPlenty of Fish\r\n\tMatch\r\n\r\nSometimes you want to find lasting love, and sometimes you want to find some short-term thrills.\r\nIf that’s you right now, maybe it’s because you just got out of a long, serious relationship, and you’re in the mood for a one-night stand to help you put your breakup in the rearview mirror. Maybe you’ve been working yourself ragged at the office, too busy with other aspects of life to be a good partner to anyone, but you don’t want to sacrifice every aspect of dating. \r\nRegardless, you shouldn't feel guilty for your decision. It’s true that being a partner, boyfriend or husband can be deeply fulfilling, but if you’re not ready for it, no one can force you to be. The truth of the matter? There are lots of people out there more than willing to get involved in some no-strings-attached action with you. Despite any hesitation, you’re far from the only one who’s looking to only hook up. On that note, welcome to the wide world of online hookup sites and apps.\r\nRELATED: Best Online Dating Sites of 2025\r\nThese sexy (and sometimes X-rated) sites and apps have a different tone and approach from traditional dating services by bringing together open-minded types who are specifically interested casual relationships. While it might raise the eyebrow of your grandparents or that overly conservative cousin you hardly ever see, more and more people are adopting a casual mindset toward dating. Think about the rise of blockbuster movies and television shows that portray friends-with-benefits arrangements sympathetically, along with the growing use of terms like \"f**k buddy.\" It becomes clear that attitudes towards one-night stands, casual dating and even the whole \"sugar daddy\" concept are shifting.\r\nIf you find yourself a tad nervous about signing up for an app that allows you to explore your kinks and fetishes (or even your sexual orientation), remember to only do what you’re comfortable with. You don't have to link your Instagram account, for example, or make yourself discoverable to mutual friends. Depending on your level of curiosity, you might explore what turns you on by talking about it online, or in person, with others who are just as curious. \r\nIf you're wondering why you should focus attention on apps specific to hooking up, that's an easy one. Given your no-doubt busy work schedule, dedication to your fitness routine and hope of keeping a social life alive, spending time on other online dating sites means you’ll have to sort through more matches who are looking for something significant when you aren’t. By using hookup sites and apps, you avoid wasting each other's time.\r\nWhen you’re ready to find the right app or site for you, it’s vital to settle on an option that genuinely fits your personality. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of hookup sites and apps out there, from sketchy as hell to secure as a locked safe. If you really want to get the best bang for your buck, you should be looking for a site that genuinely caters to people like you, and who are also looking for what you’re looking for (in this case, casual, string-free sex). Ideally, you’ll be signing up for a site or app that’ll give you access to a plethora of fellow horny hookup-seekers without compromising your privacy or safety in any way.\r\nIf, for one reason or another, you don’t have the time or energy to go over what’s every single site and app out there has to offer, we’ve done just that already so you don’t have to. From the internationally acclaimed FriendFinderX to the X-rated AdultFriendFinder, the experience they provide is better than you might expect. \r\nClick below to see our 10 picks for the top hookup sites and apps on the market. They’ve been thoroughly tested, so you don’t need to go any further than these top-notch options.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Know if Hook-Ups Are Right for You\r\n\tThe Best Sexting Apps\r\n\tEverything You Need to Know About Hookup Etiquette\r\n Getting Started on XMatch.com\r\nAre you looking for a stimulating service that will push you outside your comfort zone without compromising on reliability and quality? Welcome to XMatch.com. It’s part of the Friend Finder network, which means it works similarly to other established sites like AdultFriendFinder.com and FriendFinder-X.com. Signing up takes about five minutes, and once you’ve confirmed your email, you can browse the top menu bar to find matches, interact with the XMatch community (via live cams or chatrooms), see what's trending, edit your profile, and more.\r\nXMatch has a fun, interactive community that you can interact with on whatever level you’re comfortable with. If you prefer to browse sexy profiles in private, that’s fine (you can flirt with or “hotlist” users you really like the look of), or you can take part in the erotic stories community. There are also explicit videos and tons of naked photos, so make sure you’re prepared for that.\r\nThe XMatch.com Experience\r\nAfter providing basic information about your location and gender, you’ll be asked to specify your body type, race, sexual orientation and marital status, but only if you want to divulge them (“prefer not to say” is a valid option). You then fill out a brief profile with tools provided to help you craft the best possible advertisement.\r\nThis dating site feels like one of the more legitimate options in the hook-up category. Despite the racy content, the interface is clean, and there is clearly a lot of activity going on. That said, XMatch caters mostly to extroverts. Don't expect the (good) dates to start rolling in unless you take the time to set up a decent profile. Make sure you post to the boards and community groups at least once in awhile, too.\r\nTakeaways\r\nXMatch.com offers users an intuitive, if not immediately familiar, service that's enjoyably to use and reasonable on cost. For all of these reasons, it provides a top-rate hookup seeking experience.\r\nBest feature: A huge member base and a slick interface make the overall experience one of the best available.\r\nBiggest drawback: Some profiles may be duplicated from other Friend Finder sites, which is fairly common practice, but nonetheless worth mentioning, and you may be shown profiles outside your region.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nSigning up to XMatch is free, but membership is required if you want full access to the site’s best features and hottest profiles. Gold Membership ($39.95 per month) is the best way to go to unlock everything, but if you want to send a single flirt, you can do so for the bargain price of $3. You can also unlock individual profiles for $6 to allow chatting with a specific hottie you have your eye on.\r\nLearn more at XMatch.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on iHookUp\r\nSigning up to iHookUp.com involves providing some basic biographical information before you'll be able to see other profiles. To get the most out of the service, you’ll need to create a detailed profile, which involves answering a mix of closed and open-ended questions (e.g. “hookups you’re open to” or whether you have any tattoos).\r\niHookUp’s layout is smooth, modern and very enjoyable to browse, and the uncluttered page design encourages members to begin interacting with others from the start. The page can get pretty raunchy, though, so make sure you’re ready for full-blown nudity.\r\nYou can meet cam girls, message other users, and even send fun icebreakers to each other if you’re struggling to decide on a flirtatious opener. Another great feature of iHookUp is that it generates personalized reports based on your data, helping you gain more insight into your own preferences and tendencies. It also compares your profile to other user profiles, and determines how spicy things are likely to be in the bedroom.\r\nThe iHookUp Experience\r\nJust like with Tinder’s origin story, iHookUp was created with horny singles in mind. Users can be added to a favorites tab, allowing you to keep track of all your matches. Another really great thing about iHookUp is that it offers a three-month guarantee. After three months as an active user, should you still not find a single date, you’ll receive a three-month membership extension, free of charge.\r\nTakeaways\r\nWith its smooth interface and unique features, iHookUp feels like a modern way for singles to find fun and casual relationships.\r\nBest feature: The Passion report is a great tool for people to see how well they connect with others. The use of data is clever and helpful for users. \r\nBiggest drawback: The pop-ups can be distracting and annoying.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nThough initially free, you’ll need to pay for access to the best features. You can upgrade from the free account to a one-day trial for only $1, while the full subscription service is $39.01 per month.\r\nLearn more at iHookup.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on Passion.com\r\nThe first thing you’ll notice about Passion.com is that it has an incredibly sleek design when you open the site’s landing page. Sign-up involves adding a few basic details about yourself to help the site generate the right type of singles for you, fill in a basic profile, and then you’re ready to start browsing through hundreds of member profiles in your area.\r\nAs one of the prime destinations for daters of a more sensual persuasion, Passion.com caters to singles, couples, and groups of any sexual orientation, and the site can be used to make both online and in-person connections. The layout is easy to navigate, putting all the emphasis on browsing erotic photos and mingling with online personals. Interactive features like adult chat rooms, direct and instant messaging, and a Facebook-like news feed for posting and commenting on status updates make it a high-caliber site with much more than meets the eye.\r\nUnlike some other sites in the adult category, Passion.com allows users to create very extensive profiles, which is useful for ensuring you’re on the same page with your matches. You can browse friend networks, read up on detailed Q&As, and even see what “sexual academy” courses others have completed.\r\nThe Passion.com Experience\r\nPassion.com is a simple and effective tool for finding the steamy hookups you’re looking for. You’ll find that Passion.com hits a sweet spot between the raunchier aspects of sites like FriendFinder-X.com and the slightly more work-friendly sites like Match.com. Let’s just say it’s for the type of people who have dirty minds, but clean consciences. Thanks to its 53 million active members, you’re going to find the hookup of your dreams in no time as those sort of numbers all but guarantee it!\r\nTakeaways\r\nSleek and visually stimulating, Passion.com is a higher-end dating site for those seeking fun and adventurous encounters.\r\nBest feature: From the attractiveness of members to the variety of features, the overall quality of the site is a pleasant change from other lower-caliber alternatives on the market.\r\nBiggest drawback: It’s important to remember that on sites like this, you’ll always get what you give. The more you engage on Passion.com, the better your results will be.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nPassion offers a variety of membership plans. Although the monthly rate isn’t cheap ($39.95 per month), signing up for three or 12 months greatly reduces the total cost.\r\nLearn more at Passion.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on Adult Friend Finder\r\nAdult Friend Finder is an easy site to use. Like Passion.com, joining involves adding in a few biographical details about yourself, filling in a basic profile, and then you’re ready to start browsing through the enormous number of profiles.\r\nOnce in, you’ll immediately notice the provocative profiles and banner ads that take up most of the homepage. From there, you can browse the top navigation bar for everything from \"What’s New\" (for finding the most recently added profiles) to live chat rooms (which speaks for itself).\r\nMembers can also customize their “Cupid preferences” in order to narrow down what profiles they wish to see. This can come in handy if you’re looking for a specific kind of match based on physical appearance, fetish, or location.\r\nThe Adult Friend Finder Experience\r\nThe most adult site on this list by far (and we say that in a good way), Adult Friend Finder has explicit pictures and user profiles. This is a platform full of people who have low inhibitions and are serious about getting busy ASAP. Despite its suggestive photos, Adult Friend Finder backs it up by having hundreds of profiles of genuinely hot women. The results? An Adult Friend Finder subscription is kind of like the online hookup equivalent of a mud fight. It's dirty, but you have a strange urge to do it anyway, and with girls involved, yes, it's pretty hot. Leave the romantic bouquets of flowers at the door on this one, fellas, because this isn't a vanilla dating site. \r\nTakeaways\r\nAs an industry leader, AFF is your one-stop shop for fulfilling your sexual desires. Whether it be online or in-person, it provides an engaging and stimulating environment to explore your own interests, as well as those less familiar to you.\r\nBest feature: Adult Friend Finder’s \"What’s Hot\" feature lets members interact over the hottest content currently trending on the site, and membership with AFF connects you to all of the Friend Finder networks.\r\nBiggest drawback: As a hookup site, AFF doesn’t offer any detailed questionnaire at sign-up, which means it’s harder to find a really compatible match.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nAdult Friend Finder offers a free account, but payment is required for access to any of the site’s interactive features. Plans start at $16.99 per month for a basic membership and $39.95 per month for a Gold membership, but the price can be reduced if you opt for a longer-term membership.\r\nLearn more at AdultFriendFinder.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on GetItOn\r\nWith a smooth, blue-and-white color scheme and simple sign up process, GetItOn.com opens with a bang. Three minutes and 11 questions is all it takes to get an account set up, and you’ll be pleased to see that the sexual compatibility survey covers everything from your own physical appearance to the type of relationship(s) you’re interested in pursuing.\r\nSpeaking of compatibility, member profiles are always accompanied by a percentage, which indicates how well any two given members should get along. Beyond that, the search function allows members to look for matches based on location, who’s online, most recently added profiles, and other variables that help you get the exact match you’re after.\r\nAs per usual, the top navigation bar is the best place to check out your browsing options, which include a live cam section and \"hot\" list. Once a match has been made, members have a couple of different ways to communicate, including GetItOn’s emailing system and ‘Flirt,’ which is a casual way to showing interest in someone’s profile.\r\nThe GetItOn Experience\r\n“Get It On” is Marvin Gaye’s best song, no argument. The classic tune is about getting busy in the bedroom, but compared to the dating website GetItOn.com, it might as well be about holding hands. Yes, GetItOn is clearly a raunchy site. Unlike sites that try to match people's personalities and interests for dating purposes, GetItOn prioritizes matching people who are sexually compatible, meaning there’s less of a chance you’ll end up struggling to get to first base on a date with someone who isn’t actually interested in casual sex. Everyone’s on the same page here, so you won’t be wasting your time.\r\nTakeaways\r\nLike the name suggests, GetItOn is all about helping people find their perfect sexual match, and it works really well.\r\nBest feature: GetItOn's sexual compatibility survey makes signing up well worth it, even if you don’t want to commit to a membership right away.\r\nBiggest drawback: Beyond emailing and sending ‘flirts,’ this site doesn’t offer many interactive features.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nA full membership with GetItOn.com is definitely one of the more cost-effective options on the market. Rates start at $29.95 per month, but drop to $19.93 per month if you opt for a three-month bundle.\r\nLearn more at GetItOn.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on Ashley Madison \r\nEveryone knows about the extramarital exploits of famous men, but the biggest name in affairs has to be the affair-focused dating site, Ashley Madison. The motto makes the site’s purpose crystal clear: “Life is short. Have an affair.”\r\nNow, we couldn’t talk about Ashley Madison without acknowledging the hack in 2015 that ended up exposing the details of more than 30 million users. It’s safe to say that Ashley Madison slipped up somewhere along the line, if not in its mission to normalize extramarital affairs. To be fair, online dating in general is associated with risks, but this site was specifically targeted for promoting cheating.\r\nAs we reported at the time of the Ashley Madison hack, the ramifications of the leak resulted in a lot of public shaming and personal drama for everyone involved. Suffice to say, the dating site has rapidly fallen from its seat at the top of the affairs dating category, and will likely never recover from the damage to its reputation.\r\nNow, you’ll be be hard-pressed finding anyone that recommends signing up to Ashley Madison, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t more legitimate alternatives. Whether you’re looking for some innocent fun or something a little more alternative, here are three other noteworthy sites to check out:\r\n\r\n\t1 - FriendFinder-X: Best value\r\n\t2 - XMatch.com: Best for casual hook-ups \r\n\t3 - AdultFriendFinder.com: Best quality of members\r\n\r\nThe Ashley Madison Experience\r\nFor those of you still interested in knowing what it’s like to have an account on this now notorious site, we found that, while most people associate Ashley Madison with infidelity due to its branding and motto, there appear to be a surprising number of singles on this site looking for more traditional kinds of romance. Plus, infidelity isn’t unique to Ashley Madison as there are people looking for extra-marital affairs exist on every site.\r\nNot unlike other sites in this category, signing up is easy, and only takes a minute. Once set up, members can search and bookmark profiles based on interest. What’s especially interesting is that profiles also display feedback rankings from other members they’ve interacted with, so you know what you’re in for.\r\nTakeaways\r\nThough it's a controversial brand, Ashley Madison is a site that offers services not so dissimilar to those found elsewhere. \r\nBest feature: 'My Perfect Match' is a great feature that lets members zero in on people best suited to fulfill their fantasies. Ashley Madison also doesn’t support ads, which makes the layout more visually appealing and less annoying.\r\nBiggest drawback: Membership is expensive. Oh yeah, and they got hacked pretty bad (duh). \r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nOn the steeper end, a basic Ashley Madison membership starts at $49 per month. The site also offers more specific memberships, including the 'Elite Package' and 'Affair Guarantee Package'.\r\nLearn more at AshleyMadison.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on Friend Finder\r\nFriend Finder positions itself as a fun place to be if you’re in the mood for fun, but not necessarily a fully-fledged relationship. If you're curious, you don’t actually have to sign up to start browsing profile thumbnails (a big plus for the casual dabbler), but you will have to create an account if you want to start chatting with sexy singles.\r\nGetting set up is a breeze, taking a little over five minutes. The Friend Finder questionnaire doesn’t hassle you with too many open-ended questions, but you can fill out more detailed sections about yourself once you’re in.\r\nThe site provides plenty of ways to interact within the Friend Finder community. Chat rooms let you spark conversations with groups of people, while IM helps you get to know people more intimately. Winks, on the other hand, are the subtlest way of getting someone’s attention.\r\nThe Friend Finder Experience\r\nYou could think of Friend Finder as the classier counterpart of AdultFriendFinder.com. Now, we know what you’re thinking, and no, Friend Finder isn’t just for platonic buddy-buddying with people. After all, you can be friends with the people you’re having sex with, right? Boasting award-winning content and close to half a million members (many of whom are active on their chat rooms), Friend Finder is the world’s largest personals website, so if you’re more of the old-school, place-an-ad-in-a-newspaper type when it comes to finding love (or making love), Friend Finder is definitely the place for you. Yes, sometimes when you’re looking for a hookup, what you’re really looking for is another heart to hook up with.\r\nTakeaways\r\nA platform that blends social network with dating service, Friend Finder is a great way to ease into the hookup scene.\r\nBest feature: Friend Finder Magazine provides tips and blog-like posts with online dating advice.\r\nBiggest drawback: Unless you upgrade to one of the paid memberships, you won't be able to send or reply to messages. \r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nFriend Finder offers three types of membership: basic, silver and, gold. As you can imagine, you get access to all the best features and a higher profile rank in search results if you go for gold, starting at $30.95 per month. The basic account is free, but we recommend at least trying the silver plan if you want to take advantage of the service.\r\nLearn more at FriendFinder.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on FriendFinder-X\r\nBy far one of the most visited adult sites out there, FriendFinder-X has quite the reputation for its X-rated personals service. With its extensive features, from free entertainment to intuitive messaging functions, we get why it’s such a popular choice.\r\nSigning up can be done in less that a minute. After selecting your sexual identity (all are welcome) and preferences, you’re asked to fill in a very basic questionnaire, like your birthday, location, and username. For those of you who are a little kinkier, FriendFinder-X also allows you to join as a couple or group.\r\nOnce you’re in, FriendFinder-X is borderline overwhelming with its fully loaded pages and broad browsing options. Members can also participate in live action forums, see what’s trending, and view adult content.\r\nThe FriendFinder-X Experience\r\nFriendFinder-X bills itself as “the world’s largest casual personals site” and advertises that it’s “where good girls do bad things.” That’s not for everyone, but if you’re this far down this list of hookup sites, we’re guessing it’s probably for you. The site encourages users to express their fantasies to each other and be open about what you’re looking for. There’s a wide range of people here looking to indulge in every fantasy imaginable, making it easy to find a kindred spirit. It boasts millions of members and, on top of sexy member videos and live chat, offers “intimate dating advice” in case you think you could benefit from that.\r\nTakeaways\r\nFriendFinder-X is geared toward people looking for X-rated encounters, in real life or online (or a mix of the two).\r\n\r\nBest feature: FriendFinder-X features some of the most detailed advanced search options we’ve ever seen. We’re talking cup size, consumption habits, and fetish curiosities here.\r\n\r\nBiggest drawback: If anything, the site could be considered overwhelming due to its dense page layout. \r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nAlthough signing up is free, upgrading to a paid account ($40 per month, with discounts offered for longer membership commitments) will get you access to the features that make FriendFinder-X all it’s cracked up to be.\r\nLearn more at FriendFinder-X.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on Plenty of Fish\r\nWhile its layout is simple, getting started on POF can take around half an hour depending on how much attention you pay to filling out the open-ended questions. On more than one occasion, the site will remind you not to include any inappropriate language - a clear sign that POF doesn't just focus on the raunchier end of the spectrum here.\r\nDespite having a bit more of a basic feel, POF manages to offer many features that aren’t dissimilar to those offered by competing sites like FriendFinder-X and Match. For example, \"Meet Me\" is a Tinder-esque function that allows you to scroll through individual photos, each time choosing to say ‘yes’, ‘no,’ or ‘maybe.’ \r\nThe Plenty of Fish Experience\r\nWith a pleasing color scheme, Plenty Of Fish isn’t hard on the eyes. It runs the gamut in terms of what men could be after, and it’s definitely a legit casual dating site (you can still find sex here). Because it’s free, it lacks the quality of potential companions that a site like Match.com or Passion.com can offer. Sometimes with hookup sites, you really do get what you pay for, and with Plenty of Fish, there can be quite a few people who aren’t really looking for casual sex, so it depends how much time you’ve got to filter through those types.\r\nTakeaways\r\nSlated somewhere between mainstream dating site and hookup venue, POF is ideal for those wanting to dip their toes into the dating pool without getting tied down to monthly payments.\r\nBest feature: Well, for starters, it’s free, which means you have nothing to lose by trying POF. The second thing is that POF has the largest member pool out of any other site in this category, by far.\r\nBiggest drawback: Since joining POF is free, it means that there’s less quality control in terms of members and site experience.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nPOF offers a standard account that’s completely free. That said, the site does offer a premium membership starting at $25 per month for a three-month plan, and dropping to $15 per month with a six-month commitment.\r\nLearn more at POF.com \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nGetting Started on Match\r\nSetting up an account on Match.com can take a wee bit of time, but you probably won’t regret doing it once you’re in because you’ll have provided enough information to get tailored matches. \r\nWith an emphasis on dating compatibility, Match highlights profiles of interest, and encourages in-person meetings through different features like \"Date Spark\" and \"Stir.\" Profiles are also fairly detailed and can display dozens of photos, which is way more than most other sites allow.\r\nThe Match Experience\r\nAs any guy who has visited Match.com looking for Mrs. Right or just Ms. Right Now can tell you, it offers plenty of opportunities for men to meet great women in real life, and tends to cater to a more mature audience than one of its main competitors, POF. Match.com is jam packed full of women who are looking for no-strings fun, and the whole community is open-minded and judgement-free. You don’t need to look any further than Match.com if you’re looking for a steamy weekend.\r\nTakeaways\r\nMatch.com is a well-rounded site that promises connections that are about more than just sex... although you can certainly find just sex, too!\r\nBest features: Match.com’s compatibility algorithm is one of the best out there, and the availability of a mobile app means you can match on the go.\r\nBiggest drawback: The sign-up questionnaire is a little long. It can also take up to 24 hours before your account is activated.\r\nMemberships and Pricing\r\nMatch.com offers several membership plans to choose from. As can be expected, the longer term you go, the cheaper your monthly rate will be. For example, basic membership costs $45.99 per month, but a six-month deal drops the cost to $22.99 per month.\r\nLearn more at Match.com", "keywords": "Best, Hookup, Sites, and, Apps, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/best-hookup-sites-and-apps/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1744381651.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/best-hookup-sites-and-apps.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166544", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Lifespan vs Healthspan? Here’s What to Know", "title_slug": "what-is-lifespan-vs-healthspan-heres-what-to-know", "title_hash": "cc0dc90e3e4c483d369399a03a9c3c0f", "summary": "Healthspan Is More Important Than Lifespan — Here’s How to Extend Yours", "content": "Nowadays, longevity is a hot topic — it seems everyone is hell-bent on increasing their lifespan. But what’s the point of adding a few years to your life if you’re dealing with cognitive decline or chronic pain during those years? That’s where the concept of healthspan comes into play. When you focus on extending your healthspan, you ensure that you can still actually enjoy the final stage of your life — whether that means continuing to join your buddies on the golf course, playing with grandkids in the backyard, or traveling around the world.\r\n“Lifespan is simply the number of years you live,” says Dr. Haleem Mohammed, MD, Chief Medical Officer at Gameday Men’s Health. “Healthspan is about how well you live during those years. It’s the length of time you remain physically, mentally, and functionally healthy — free of chronic disease, mobility issues, and cognitive decline.”\r\n“For men, increasing healthspan often means shifting the mindset toward actively preserving muscle mass, energy, mobility, cognitive function, and metabolic health,” says Dr. Leslie Golden, an obesity medicine physician at Weight In Gold. “These aren't vanity metrics — they’re the foundation of living with purpose and freedom. It’s the difference between just being alive and actually living. In the end, a longer life is good — but a longer, meaningful life is better.”\r\nRELATED: Biohackers Share the Secrets to Longevity\r\nSo, looking to make the most out of those final years? Ahead, experts share some practical tips that will extend not just your lifespan — but your healthspan.\r\nFocus on Supporting Your Gut Health\r\nHippocrates reportedly claimed that “all disease begins in the gut” — and increasingly, research is showing that there may be truth to this concept, given the gut-brain, gut-heart, and gut-immune connections. \r\nSo, it should come as no surprise that Dr. Joseph Mercola, a board-certified family physician and author of Your Guide to Cellular Health, strongly recommends focusing on supporting your gut for the sake of your healthspan.\r\n“A diverse microbiome helps control inflammation and strengthens your immune system,” he tells AskMen. “You can feed it by including fermented foods like kimchi, kefir, or sauerkraut a few times a week. For snacks, try carrots and hummus instead of crackers, or a small apple with raw cheese. These foods add fiber that nourish beneficial bacteria, which shape your long-term health from the inside out.”\r\nMake Time for Resistance Training\r\nYou already know exercise is good for you. But more specifically, Dr. Mohammed advises putting an emphasis on resistance training, and making an effort to move your body in some way every day.\r\n“Muscle isn’t just for looks, it’s a contributing factor to a longer life,” he explains. “Resistance training improves insulin sensitivity, strengthens bones, supports testosterone levels, and prevents injury.”\r\nDr. Mohammed recommends incorporating weightlifting into your workout regimen three times a week, focusing on foundational compound movements like squats, chest presses, and rows.\r\n“Starting in your 30s and 40s, you naturally begin to lose muscle mass — a process called sarcopenia,” explains Dr. Golden. “Resistance training is one of the most powerful tools we have to slow this down.”\r\nResistance training isn’t just for building muscle — it improves insulin sensitivity, boosts testosterone, protects bone density, and even helps cognitive function,” adds Dr. Mercola. “And you don’t need a gym. Start with bodyweight squats, push-ups, and planks at home. Add resistance bands or dumbbells as you go. Even two 20-minute sessions a week can reshape your future health.”\r\nPro tip: Research has shown there’s a direct link between grip strength and longevity as well as quality of life in later years, so focus on improving it via pull-ups, dead hangs, and farmer’s carries.\r\nDon’t Forget to Stretch\r\nIt’s all too easy to skimp on stretching, but experts agree this is just as important as engaging in actual physical activity. According to Dr. Mohammed, making time for stretching can improve your posture and joint health — both of which tend to suffer in the latter stage of life.\r\n“Stretching increases flexibility, improves mobility, and reduces pain —and it helps people do more, which is what healthspan is all about,” adds Dr. Dwight Fitch, MD, a board-certified cancer doctor and owner of StretchLab South Sarasota. “I see firsthand how consistent stretching allows people to move more, hurt less, and get back to the things they love.”\r\nKeep Up with Testing\r\nThe key to increasing your healthspan is taking a preventive approach so you can catch issues early before they snowball into more serious conditions. This has multiple advantages: it allows you access to more treatment options, and ensures that you have better outcomes in treatment. \r\n“You can’t optimize what you don’t track,” says Dr. Mercola. “That’s where testing comes in. It gives you the data to make smarter decisions and stay ahead of problems while you still have options.”\r\nDr. Mercola recommends digging into your family history when determining what kinds of tests and screening you need to stay on top of. \r\n“If you have a family history of heart disease, you should ask for a coronary artery calcium (CAC) score — it tells you your true risk better than cholesterol alone,” he tells AskMen. “If diabetes runs in your family, look at fasting insulin, not just fasting glucose. High insulin often shows up years before your blood sugar tips into prediabetes. For cognitive decline, consider early inflammatory markers and homocysteine, which can flag vascular and brain health risks before symptoms appear.”\r\nDr. Fitch and Dr. Mohammed also advise keeping up with:\r\nBlood pressure screeningsColonoscopies and prostate exams (based on your age)Bone density scansHormone level testing\r\n“Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death among men. While early detection can significantly improve outcomes, many men avoid discussing it until symptoms appear and often when the disease is more advanced,” says Dr. Mohammed. “A quick PSA blood test can help determine if a deeper look is needed. Prostate health is a key part of aging well, and the earlier you get a baseline, the better we can personalize your path forward.”\r\nIf you have the budget for it, you may consider looking into full-body MRI scans, like Prenuvo.\r\n“These are highly sensitive and capable of detecting small, asymptomatic lesions, lumps, or masses,” says Dr. Fitch. “If the cost isn’t a burden — since these scans can be quite expensive — they can provide helpful information that may aid in detecting disease earlier.”\r\nDr. Mercola recommends these types of scans for people with strong genetic risk — say, a sibling who developed cancer young. \r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Prenuvo\r\n“Just make sure you follow up with a practitioner who can interpret those results clearly and help you act on them strategically,” he adds.\r\nOptimize Your Sleep\r\nIn case you needed a solid reason to prioritize that shuteye: According to a large 2024 study, men who get enough sleep live about five years longer than men who don't. \r\n“You heal while you sleep,” says Dr. Fitch. “If you’re not sleeping enough, you’re shortchanging your healthspan.”\r\nDr. Fitch recommends aiming for seven to nine hours of sleep per night, and developing a consistent routine where you go to sleep and wake up at the same time daily.\r\n“Sleep isn’t a luxury, it’s the foundation of recovery, hormone production, immune strength, and cognitive health,” says Dr. Mohammed. “Chronic sleep loss is tied to a higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, depression, and Alzheimer’s.”\r\nTo regulate your circadian rhythms and get better sleep, Dr. Fitch and Dr. Mohammed advise avoiding screens for an hour before bed and using blue-light blocking glasses when necessary, using blackout curtains in your bedroom, and getting bright natural light in your eyes within 30 minutes of waking.\r\nDon’t Underestimate the Power of Vitamin D\r\nHalf of the world’s population is deficient in vitamin D. Experts say that’s a big problem, especially considering that falls are a leading cause of premature death and disability in older adults — who tend to have more fragile bones.\r\n“Vitamin D plays a major role in extending your healthspan,” says Dr. Mercola. “It supports your immune system, protects your bones, helps regulate testosterone, and lowers your risk of metabolic disease.”\r\nDid you know that your body naturally makes vitamin D when your skin gets sunlight? That’s why Dr. Mercola suggests spending very short spurts of time outside — say, 10 minutes — without sunscreen. Fatty fish like salmon, egg yolks, and Greek yogurt are just a few foods that can help you meet your vitamin D needs. You can also consult your healthcare provider about supplementing with vitamin D.\r\nEat Whole Foods\r\nWhile the jury is still out on the best diet for a long and healthy life, there’s one thing experts know for sure: your best bet is to opt for whole foods over processed ones. Not only are these foods typically higher in essential macronutrients, vitamins and minerals, but they also don’t contain added sugar, fat, preservatives, or other ingredients with no nutritional value.\r\n“Nutrition plays a huge role in long-term wellness,” says Dr. Fitch. “Instead of trying to change your entire diet overnight, start with a few easy swaps.”\r\nHere’s what that might look like: snacking on an apple or berries rather than buying a bottled juice with added sugar, substituting mashed avocado for mayo on your sandwich, or cooking rolled oats instead of having a bowl of sweetened cereal.\r\nNever Stop Learning\r\nDr. Chris Vercammen, a board certified internal medicine physician and medical director at Remo Health, insists that one of the secrets to aging well lies in being an eternal student.\r\n“Continuous learning builds a greater ‘cognitive reserve’ — the brain's ability to solve problems and adapt to new situations,” he explains. “Our brains are stimulated when we engage in earning activities, such as studying a new language or pursuing hobbies like gardening or woodworking.”\r\nAccording to Dr. Vercammen, one of the best ways to challenge your brain is simply to socialize, and engage in stimulating conversations with others.\r\n“In order to communicate with others, our brain has to be engaged in listening to others and coming up with the best response,” he tells AskMen. “Staying social and creating meaningful conversations and group activities can provide mental stimulation and boost brain health. Remember, consistency is key. Make these brain-boosting activities a regular part of your routine to reap the long-term benefits.”\r\nMaintain a Positive Attitude and Outlook\r\n“A strong body doesn’t mean much without a healthy mindset,” says Dr. Golden. “Your thoughts, habits, and stress response have real effects on your hormones, appetite, sleep, and inflammation.”\r\nFor that reason, Dr. Golden recommends limiting negative self-talk, and connecting with people who energize you and lift you up. Even the way you think about aging matters, says Dr. Golden — try to find the positives rather than focusing on the limitations that come with getting older.\r\n“Also, keep in mind that people who maintain a sense of meaning and direction as they age tend to live longer, healthier lives,” adds Dr. Golden. “Whether it’s through family, work, community, or personal growth, having a reason to get up each day supports physical and mental resilience. Ask yourself regularly: What do I want more of in my life, and what’s getting in the way? Healthspan isn't just about avoiding disease. It’s about building a life you actually want to keep living.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nA Guide to the Blue Zone Diet and LifestyleWhat to Know About Men's Heart Health at Every AgeIs Male Menopause a Real Thing That Guys Deal With?", "keywords": "What, Lifespan, Healthspan, Here’s, What, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/what-is-lifespan-vs-healthspan-heres-what-to-know/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1745416204.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/what-is-lifespan-vs-healthspan-heres-what-to-know.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166542", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Benefits for Men of Having Female Friends", "title_slug": "the-benefits-for-men-of-having-female-friends", "title_hash": "2ed4a077913c48b9d2dffc53d0d62c1f", "summary": "Did You Know? Having Female Friends as a Guy Comes With These 8 Massive Perks", "content": "By now, it’s clear that the age-old debate about whether men and women can be friends has been settled. Not only are guys perfectly capable of maintaining female friendships, but those friendships come with some serious perks you probably don’t want to miss out on. \r\nIf you don’t have many female friends, fret not — you’re definitely not alone. Lots of men feel discouraged from pursuing these friendships because they’re afraid of catching feelings, or they subconsciously believe that getting too close to women outside of a romantic context somehow threatens their masculinity.\r\n“Culturally, many of us are taught that men and women can’t be ‘just friends,’ which creates this subtle pressure or assumption that attraction has to be part of the equation,” says Jenny Maenpaa, LCSW, a licensed therapist in private practice. “On top of that, some men may worry about how others will perceive the friendship — or even struggle with emotional vulnerability, which female friendships often invite in a very genuine way.”\r\nAccording to Matthew Glowiak, LCPC, a licensed therapist with Recovery.com, some men may also avoid female friendships due to attachment issues that stem from childhood — or negative experiences with women in the past.\r\nRELATED: Here's What You Should Know About Attachment Theory\r\nBut one thing’s for sure: experts agree that avoiding these female friendships can lead to some major missed opportunities — and the rewards that come with having women friends far outweigh any risks.\r\nHere are just some of the benefits of female friendships worth considering.\r\nImproved Communication Skills & Emotional Intelligence\r\nAccording to Glowiak, building friendships with women can help you to cultivate empathy, and get more comfortable having an open dialogue about personal experiences. This allows you to relate to others more easily, and to foster even deeper connections.\r\n“It helps you develop better verbal communication skills and emotional expression, allowing you to engage more effectively in conversations,” he explains.\r\nNot only that, but Maenpaa notes that women are often socialized to be more attuned to emotional nuance, enabling them to read subtle social cues in conversations — a valuable skill that you may pick up by spending time with them.\r\n“Women are able to read body position, facial expression, and tone of voice — abilities that men can totally develop as well,” adds Vikas Keshri, a therapist, social worker, and clinical director at Bloom Clinical Care Counselling and Therapy Services.\r\nHealthier Conflict\r\nConflict is a normal and healthy part of any relationship. But some men could learn a thing or two from how women handle it.\r\n“Most male friendships aren’t built for rupture,” says Jenny Shields, a licensed psychologist in private practice and professor at Oklahoma State University. “Conflict often means distance — not conversation. In contrast, female friendships tend to normalize repair: naming tension, staying in the room, and working through it. That kind of repair doesn’t just change how men show up in friendships — it rewires how they handle conflict in dating, parenting, and leadership.”\r\nAccording to Maenpaa, female friends may help you learn how to handle conflict with more empathy, and less defensiveness — which can lead to better outcomes and ensure that the conflict strengthens the relationship rather than damaging it.\r\nRELATED: Why Never Fighting Is Actually a Red Flag\r\n“Female friends can also help teach you to listen, understand, validate, and navigate negative emotions,” says Keshri. “This can help you to be more understanding in emotional situations.”\r\nStronger Relationships\r\nWhether you know it or not, all of those aforementioned communication skills can also strengthen your other relationships — from friends and family to coworkers.\r\nThats partly because when you develop higher emotional intelligence, Maenpaa says you’ll likely be able to express yourself more clearly and authentically, and cultivate deeper trust with the people around you.\r\nRELATED: The Importance of Close Friendships for Men\r\n“High emotional intelligence is a huge predictor of success, not just in relationships but in leadership, problem-solving, and mental well-being,” adds Maenpaa. “Female friendships often create the perfect environment for this growth, offering emotional safety and honest feedback.\"\r\nBroadened Perspective\r\n“Friendships with women can expose you to experiences and perspectives you may not encounter in male-dominated spaces,” explains Maenpaa. “This can help you understand the world in a more layered, compassionate way, including insights into relationships, communication, and social challenges.”\r\nThere’s an added bonus to this widened perspective, too. According to Glowiak, it may help you question traditional gender norms and expectations, gain a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics and ultimately become a more inclusive person.In fact, spending time around women as equals, without any romantic intentions, naturally softens rigid ideas about “what women are like” or “how men should act,” says Maenpaa. Plus, as Keshri points out, close women friends can challenge sexist comments in a non-confrontational way, creating opportunities for educational moments.\r\nRELATED: Here's What You Should Know About Sexism\r\n“When you form close, respectful friendships with women, it becomes harder to hold onto stereotypes, biases, or generalized beliefs about them,” she tells AskMen. “Misogyny often grows from distance, misunderstanding, and lack of real human connection. Being close to women helps humanize them in your mind, not as ‘others’ or objects but as fully complex people — just like you. It replaces fear or resentment with curiosity and care.”\r\nIncreased Vulnerability (And Enhanced Mental Health)\r\nWomen are socialized to be more emotionally expressive, says Keshri. They may have an easier time identifying — and sharing — what they’re feeling. Spending more time around women may help you to feel safe doing the same.\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Emotional Vulnerability\r\n“Learning to acknowledge emotions of sadness or fear nonjudgmentally can reduce emotional isolation in men,” he tells AskMen. “Men's mental health is often, one of the most neglected niches and female friendships can help men be more emotionally available and self-accepting.”\r\nShields notes that women may have an expanded emotional vocabulary simply because they have more societal permission to practice sharing. \r\nRELATED: How Men Manage Stress by Disassociating From Their Feelings\r\n“Female friendships offer something rare: a place to learn the language of your own experience,” she tells AskMen. “Also, men are often raised to manage emotion through three settings: anger, humor, or silence. Female friendships gently stretch that range — not by forcing vulnerability, but by making space for it. They help men experience grief, confusion, tenderness — and learn that feeling more doesn’t have to mean falling apart.”\r\nA Source of Emotional Support\r\nEver feel like your guy friends struggle to say the right thing when you’re going through a hard time? Friendships with women may help to fill this gap.\r\n“Women tend to create space for your feelings, ask thoughtful questions, and listen deeply without rushing to ‘fix’ things,” says Maenpaa. “For guys who didn’t grow up encouraged to talk about emotions, this can be healing and eye-opening.”\r\nRELATED: Understanding the Power of 'Solve Languages'\r\nFurthermore, Glowiak points out that participating in these supportive female friendships may encourage you to prioritize self-care and seek out mental health assistance as needed — things that may still carry a stigma amongst men.\r\n“This emotional support can also lead to greater resilience in facing life’s challenges,” Glowiak adds.\r\nValuable Dating Insights\r\nWhat if having more women friends could actually enhance your love life? Experts say this is one of the most overlooked benefits of female friendships. \r\n“Female friends can help you to understand what women might appreciate in a partner,” says Glowiak. “They also serve as a positive sign to those you are dating. Having female friends indicates that the man understands and connects well with women, which is an attractive feature.”\r\nRELATED: Things You Only Know If Your Best Friend Is a Girl\r\nAccording to Maenpaa, female friends may be able to offer valuable and thoughtful feedback as you navigate the dating world. For example, they can help you to understand any accidental turn-offs in your behavior that prevented you from getting that second date with a woman.\r\n“Men with healthy female friendships often approach dating with more curiosity, more patience, and less entitlement,” says Shields. “They’re more used to listening and hearing feedback without defensiveness.”\r\nStronger Social Networks\r\nHaving female friends can expand your social circles since they tend to have wider networks, says Glowiak. Female friends may introduced you to new groups and experiences, expanding your community.\r\n“A more expansive social network can lead to enriched life experiences and opportunities, both personally and professionally,” he explains.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nEverything You Need to Know About the Friend ZoneHow Men Can Work on Improving Their Emotional IntelligenceHow to Recognize and Appreciate the Benefits of the Friend Zone", "keywords": "The, Benefits, for, Men, Having, Female, Friends", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/the-benefits-for-men-of-having-female-friends/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1745600559.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/the-benefits-for-men-of-having-female-friends.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-19 11:50:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "166091", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Aunt Called and Warned, “Your Girlfriend is Having an Affair With My Husband”", "title_slug": "my-aunt-called-and-warned-your-girlfriend-is-having-an-affair-with-my-husband", "title_hash": "cc0119f04e8ceb3d73ae73494bc8bb05", "summary": "When I was young, I knew very early that life was not going to hand me anything easily. My parents didn’t have much, so whenever an opportunity came to be …", "content": "

When I was young, I knew very early that life was not going to hand me anything easily. My parents didn’t have much, so whenever an opportunity came to be close to someone who had something, we grabbed it with both hands. That was how my aunt became a doorway to a different kind of life.

My aunt had married a wealthy man. In our eyes, that alone made her house a place of hope. So during vacations, we would go there, not just to visit, but to be useful. We knew that usefulness could translate into opportunity.

I became that boy. The one who woke up early to sweep the compound before anyone asked. The one who washed his car until it shined like a mirror. The one who weeded around the house, fixed things, ran errands, cleaned, and did anything that needed doing. I didn’t complain. I didn’t wait to be told twice. I made myself indispensable.

And he noticed. My aunt’s husband took a liking to me in a way that changed my life. He saw something in me and decided I was worth investing in. He paid my school fees. He spoke for me when it mattered. He treated me like one of his own sons. In a world where many doors were closed to people like me, he opened his. I never forgot that. Even when I went to the university, I carried that gratitude with me. And when I completed school, it was through him that I found a job.

At that point, I didn’t just see him as my aunt’s husband. I saw him as a father figure. A man who had shaped my path. So when I met a woman I was sure about, a woman I wanted to build my future with, there was no question who I would introduce her to. I introduced him to girlfriend as my father. That was how much I respected him and how much I trusted him.

My girlfriend needed a job. That was the only thing that was standing between me and marriage with this woman. Because she didn’t have a job, everything else felt shaky. So naturally, I turned to the one man who had never failed me. I went to see him with her. My aunt was there. She cooked for us that day and welcomed my girlfriend very nicely. I told my aunt’s husband about my girlfriend’s situation. I told him how important it was. He asked me to send her CV, and I did.

My girlfriend never told me my aunt’s husband had called her. She never told me they had met. She never mentioned anything that suggested there was ongoing communication between them. So at some point, I stopped thinking about it. I assumed maybe he couldn’t help this time. Maybe things were not working out. Life moved on.

Until that night.

It was late. Too late for a normal call. When my phone rang and I saw my aunt’s name, I was wondering why she would call at that time.

“Hello?”

Her voice didn’t sound like herself. She said, “Your girlfriend is having an affair with my husband. I just read it on his phone.”

For a moment, I laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it sounded impossible. My mind rejected it immediately. “How is that possible? Did you see the name very well?” I asked. She said, “I don’t know her name, but the photos I’m seeing in this chat are all hers, and they are not pictures you’ll love to see.”

Everything went quiet after that. My aunt’s husband was almost sixty. A man I called father. And my girlfriend, the woman I was planning to marry. My mind refused to connect the two. I still wanted to believe my aunt was mistaken. I needed to believe it. The next day, I went to my girlfriend. I didn’t shout. I didn’t accuse. I asked calmly, “I’ve seen the photos you’ve been sending to my aunt’s husband. My aunt is also aware and might come for you. Confess. What’s going on?”

Sometimes, truth doesn’t need words. Her face told me everything before her mouth opened. The denial came, but it came weak. First, she said he was the one chasing her, and she didn’t agree. I asked her, “You didn’t agree but sent those photos?” She tried to defend herself. She said I should show her the photos. She said she didn’t do it.

But I already knew. My aunt hadn’t sent me anything, but I believed her. I knew she wouldn’t lie about something like that. And more importantly, I could see the truth sitting right in front of me. I stopped answering her calls. For days, I stayed silent. I needed space to understand how everything I trusted had collapsed at once. The man who raised me. The woman I loved. Both of them standing on the same side of betrayal.

Then she called again. This time, she confessed. She said she had sent “crazy photos” but nothing else had happened. She said she was doing it to secure a job.

That was the reason she gave for tearing through my life like that. I didn’t argue. I didn’t shout. I didn’t ask more questions. I ended it just like that. She didn’t fight me. She didn’t try to hold on. Maybe she knew there was nothing left to hold. My aunt wanted to meet her. She wanted answers. She wanted to confront her. But I told her there was no need. Whatever needed to end had already ended. I stepped away.

I don’t know what happened between my aunt and her husband after that. But today, they are still together. They have found a way to move on while I moved differently. I don’t talk to him anymore. The man who once stood as my pillar now avoids me. We see each other sometimes, but there’s a distance that words cannot fix. I don’t hate him. That’s the confusing part. I remember the boy I used to be. The boy he helped. The life he changed. I cannot erase that.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

But I also cannot forgive him. Because some betrayals don’t just break your heart. They break your future. And that is what he did to me. He had only one job. Yes, I know my ex was very beautiful but it never crossed my mind that such beauty could also attract a man like my aunt’s husband. We no longer talk to each other but it’s alright.

—Eben

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My wife and I have a tradition that has kept us alive and going through the years we have been married. It is me picking her up from work.

It is a small gesture if you think too much about it, especially if you are single — I mean no shade, but yes.

Picking her up from work, sitting in the car and watching her strut in her heels as she walks toward me, it is calming and breathtaking at the same time.

Some days ago I went to pick her up and it was supposed to be the same thing. She was supposed to calm the noise in my head but something was different. I watched her walk with her head down like she was shy, and the few moments she lifted it, her eyes were reddish, like she had been crying.

She opened the door, sat down and did not leave a peck like she always does. No yapping about her day either. Just silence. I asked her what was wrong. She left a quiet peck on my cheek and said nothing.

So I asked the wife of my youth, “Wifey, what is wrong? Don’t you miss me?” Nothing. “Who offended you?” Nothing.

Now in our home, there is one rule that has been keeping us. We do not do silent treatment. Whatever it is, you speak it and we discuss it. She knows I do not like silence. She knows I like to hear her yap.

I was still waiting when she handed me her phone. It was a post from Fabrizio Romano on X, formerly Twitter. She said “read it and see if it makes sense .”

The post read: Rodrygo has torn his ACL and will miss the World Cup.

That was the reason for my wife’s sadness. I prayed quietly and asked God to let calm wash over me because if I had laughed, she would have had my head on a platter. So I kept my cool.

The wife of my youth is a big Real Madrid fan. A very big football fan. Me on the other hand, I enjoy it but it is not something I am particularly keen on. The argument of Ronaldo versus Messi does not concern me at all. But if you want to raise her temperature, say Messi is better than Ronaldo and watch the wife of my youth forget every composure she has ever owned. I love it for her. I sit comfortably and watch her make her argument and my heart swells with so much pride.

I have been asking her since 2020 to start something out of it, a content page, something. She always says football is emotional and she does not want people insulting her just because they disagree. She is also not very fond of social media.

Now ladies are doing it everywhere and she feels it no longer looks unique, so I have stopped forcing it. Maybe she will read this and start, because I think you all would encourage her.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I ended up spending good money on ice cream and aboki sausage to bring my yappy wife and guess what.

By the time we were halfway home, she was talking again. Laughing, even. Telling me things I had missed in her silence.

And just like that, my peace returned.

One day, I hope she lets go of that shyness and follows her heart. I will be there, rooting for her, loud and unapologetic, from wherever I stand. I will root for her and scream from the top of my lungs.

—Steven

#SB<>

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He was my friend’s brother. She came to me one day and said, “he is looking for a wife and I think you are a good woman, come, let’s go see him.” He lived in the city and I had nursed that dream for a while, of building a life with someone who stayed in the city. The few months that followed, we were preparing for marriage. I liked him, he liked me, we were not children. He had been married before, so his anthem was, “I don’t have to waste time, I know what I want.”

It was after the marriage that I found out about the kids. I was a new wife, bent on obtaining favour from my husband, so I let it go. I welcomed those children into my home anytime they wanted. Not that he was very present in their lives. He strolled in and out whenever he deemed fit. And I told myself I didn’t have to worry when our children started coming because it was me he chose. Me.

Our first child came and she was a girl. I was excited. He was not. There is a particular joy that comes with having a child with someone you love and I had that. My husband did not. He didn’t care for the dresses and onesies I got. He just stared at my face like I was a clown.

The second child was a girl too. I saw how his face turned when I gave him the news. By the third and fourth child who were girls, I was lost on him. I had lost my favor with my husband. It was subtle, quiet, but I am an attentive person so I knew it. Sometimes he did not mask it enough so he cussed out more often, created chaos. Other times when we were lucky he was calm about having to come home and see only females in the house and no male. No male to help pick up his bag, clean up the tank, basically do the heavy lifting in the house.

On the days he wasn’t calm, he beat me blue and black. No care for my eyes, no care for the pain he left in my body. “You will survive it,” he would say.

I endured it. He is my husband. He is a pastor. Nobody takes a woman’s word when she speaks against a man of God. Who was I going to report him to? The elders? Church members? The families who revere him like he is something sacred?

Then one day, he hit me in my left eye because the food wasn’t salty enough for his taste. He called me to the room and before I had a chance to answer him, I felt the blow. By the next morning, it was swollen, reddish, and weeping. I asked him for money for the hospital. He said, “don’t worry, you will heal.” I asked when. He said, “God will heal you. If you go to the hospital they will have me arrested and the ministry will collapse. If you love the work of God, let me take care of you.”

Foolishly, ignorantly, I agreed.

One month later, God hadn’t healed me. And that was how I slowly lost all vision in my left eye.

This same eye was now the reason he wanted a new secretary. He said my eyes were not good enough to work in the house of God, that I might see something that would cost them. So he has taken a young woman as his personal secretary and they do things together in that office. But he is a man of God, so it is fine, until it isn’t anymore. I had long accepted, twenty-six years ago, that I was never going to win with him. So I never drew a line, never thought of fighting.

But things have changed.

He is going to leave me penniless. Cast me away from the life I built alongside him. The secrets I kept for this pastor, the thankless things I did to keep the church running and the home afloat, none of it counts. He doesn’t believe I have added any value to his life. He has plans to take everything that should come to me and my girls and hand it to his other children, because my daughters are girls, and girls, according to him, will belong to some other man eventually. So he doesn’t owe them anything.

“You can leave if you want,” he told me.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

But I don’t want to leave with nothing. I have spent nearly three decades of my life with this man, poured everything I had into him, endured things that should have broken me. And now his other children who are men are going to inherit what I bled for while I go back to poverty with my girls?

Am I selfish for wanting to fight for what is ours? Am I too Christian to go out and find ways to hold him accountable for what he has done and what he plans to do? Is it wrong that I am tired of bowing my head and quietly absorbing a life full of pain?

I need to know how to end his career and the ministry he cherishes more than me. Not because I’m bitter, though God knows I am. But because if I don’t fight now, my girls will spend their lives watching their mother drown in regret. And I cannot let that happen. I will not.

Tell me what to do.

I don’t think it is.

—Patience Ozokwor

#SB<>

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We’ve been dating for three years, and I’ve gotten pregnant twice. Twice I wanted to give birth, but he said no, the situation wasn’t right. During the first pregnancy, he told me, “If you allow it to go, I will put my life in order and marry you within one year.”

I loved him and wanted to do his wish, so I let it go. The marriage didn’t happen. Each time I brought it up, he told me stories about why it wasn’t possible at the moment.

Then we got pregnant again. Because of the lessons I’d learned from the previous one, I didn’t want to listen to anything. I told him, “Come rain or shine, we should have this one. I can’t do it twice. It’s risky.”

He lay at my feet like an obedient dog and told me all the good things I needed to hear. I still shook my head and said, “We’ll have this one no matter what. You can even leave me, I don’t mind.”

But in the end, he was able to convince me to let it go and promised to give me GHC1,000 monthly allowance until we got married. I grudgingly followed him to the hospital for it to be done. That very month, he sent me GHC1,000 via mobile money, and since then, he hasn’t sent anything again.

We fight about this money like our lives depend on it, but all he does is make promises. I’m sick and tired of his lies and want to leave him, but I need the money he promised. I’m also scared that what we’ve done could cause issues in the future if I’m not able to give birth again. I don’t want to marry another man and be facing the shadows of the past with him. That’s why I continue to stay with this guy.

But how can I make him deliver on his promise of GHC1,000 monthly allowance? Apart from that, all is well between us, but I feel cheated and lied to. Is there anything I can do to get this guy to pay me the said amount monthly?

—Eme

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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George came to me to ask me to help him win my friend, Lizzy. He sounded desperate to have Lizzy as his girlfriend, but the truth was only one. Lizzy had a boyfriend she had been dating for over a year. I told George the truth—that Lizzy was in a serious relationship. Not just a boyfriend, but the kind you don’t interrupt. The kind that had been there for over a year. He went quiet for a moment, then thanked me.

A few weeks later, I found myself thinking about him more than I should—the way he spoke, the way he listened. The kind of man who asks for help instead of pretending he knows it all. So one evening, I sent him a message, “George, how about me? I’m single and would like to know you more.”

He didn’t reply immediately. When he finally did, it was careful and measured, almost like he was testing the ground before stepping on it. I understood him. I was the girl who had just told him I couldn’t help him get the woman he wanted. Now I was offering myself.

Days later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. The first person I told was Lizzy. She didn’t scream for joy. She didn’t look like I had told her happy news. She just paused and said, “I thought George liked me ooo… so it was you he rather wanted?”

I got confused. I asked her if he had ever made a move on her, and she said no. She added, “He used to call me very often. Then suddenly, the calls stopped. No explanation. No proposal. Just silence. I was wondering what had happened to him since.”

We both tried to make sense of it. Lizzy finally concluded, “Maybe he wanted to use me as a bridge to get to you. That’s also very possible.”

This conclusion sounded reasonable and clean, so we both agreed on it and let everything slide. I got George. Our relationship started very quietly. If we didn’t tell you about it, you wouldn’t know. No, we were not hiding. We were careful in love because we knew we had a long way to go.

Since we started dating, anytime the three of us are in the same space, something feels off for me. I can’t explain it, but I feel there’s something creeping around quietly. George would be talking to me, but his eyes would follow Lizzy. She would laugh, and he would pause. She would move, and his attention would move with her.

I started watching them intentionally, like someone looking for proof of a suspicion they’re afraid to confirm. The more I watched, the more I saw. I picked up signals that George really is in love with Lizzy and not me. He watches her every move and concentrates on her instead of me. When I asked him, he denied it calmly and convincingly. He said he felt nothing for her, that he was only being nice because she was my friend.

But kindness doesn’t look like that. Lizzy too, she isn’t innocent in it. There were moments when she did more than she should, like she was in a competition with me. I dismissed those moments because I wanted peace, but I didn’t feel peace. I felt replaced in my own relationship, like I was standing in the middle of something that belonged to two other people.

It made me feel small, like I had taken something that wasn’t mine and was trying to enjoy it quietly before the real owner returned.

George hasn’t done anything wrong since we started loving each other. He shows up. He cares. He keeps his word. On paper, he is everything I should want, but love is not paper. And every time Lizzy is around, what they have feels louder than what he has with me. The chemistry when Lizzy is around feels stronger than what he has with me, and it hurts me.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

It’s the reason I want to let the relationship go so I can have my peace of mind. But the question that rings in my head anytime I want to let go is, what if I’m wrong and it’s my mind that’s deceiving me? What if all of this is just in my head?

And that is the part that keeps me here.

—Lady

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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This story was originally reported by Jennifer Gerson of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

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One of the most commonly used forms of menopause hormone therapy is hard to find right now.

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This applies to estradiol patches, as two of the major manufacturers report being in shortage. Estradiol is a form of estrogen, and these patches are one way to deliver the hormone transdermally, or through the skin. Transdermal estrogen is often prescribed by menopause care specialists because the delivery keeps the estrogen from being processed by the liver, and thus does not increase the risk of blood clots or cardiac events.

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The reasons for the shortage aren’t entirely clear, though it is likely a combination of preexisting supply chain issues, the impacts of tariffs on overseas drug manufacturers, and an increased demand for the patches after a regulatory shift. In November, the Food and Drug Administration lifted the 20-year old black box warning on estrogen products used in menopausal hormone therapy warning of serious adverse effects, which likely has made these drugs feel more accessible.

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Systemic estrogen—the form of hormone therapy utilized via patch—treats some of the best-known, and most disruptive, symptoms of menopause: hot flashes, night sweats, heart palpitations, and mood changes.

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But experts say that if you can’t find the patch you’ve been prescribed to address these symptoms, there are other options.

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Dr. Lauren Streicher, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and author of a forthcoming AARP book on menopause, said there’s no need to panic.

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“It doesn’t matter how it gets in there, it’s going to help your hot flashes, it’s going to help your symptoms,” Streicher said.

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Patches are not the only form of transdermal estrogen available—and in fact, all transdermal estrogens use the same drug, often manufactured by the same company and then distributed to pharmaceutical companies. So, some end up in transdermal patches, but there are also gels, creams, and sprays that go on your skin and have the same active ingredient.

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Transdermal estrogen isn’t the only form of estrogen available for hormone therapy either, Streicher explained.

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Oral estrogen—taken via pill—is also a safe form of estrogen for many people, depending on their medical history. For someone who does not have a history of blood clots, it can be a great option. It also has been shown to lower cholesterol levels and reduce lipids, both great for heart health.

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Some patients may turn to oral estrogen because the non-patch transdermal options are often not covered by insurance.

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Streicher advises against going to compounding pharmacies to help bridge the gap, as it is impossible to know the exact dosing you are actually receiving in the products dispensed there.

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As the systemic dose of estrogen leaves your body, any symptoms you are experiencing will return—how long this takes will vary from person to person—but Streicher assured that the impacts of going off the patch won’t be more severe than that.

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“Your brain isn’t going to start eating itself,” she noted.

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But other than discomfort, there is no inherent danger in going off hormone therapy for a time. Likewise, there is no danger in resuming again once you have access to hormone therapy of choice—and yes, your symptoms will once again abate once you resume taking your estrogen.

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In the face of a shortage, Streicher advised that those wishing to continue on hormone therapy seek out the care of a gynecologist who is well-versed in menopause care and is very familiar with the various forms of estrogen used in menopausal hormone therapy and its dosing. Seeing someone who specializes in menopause care can help ensure you have options if you want to continue on hormone therapy, even if you can’t find patches. (Can’t find a menopause specialist by you? There are also many telehealth services that focus on hormone therapy specifically and connect patients with menopause specialists who can prescribe it.)

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“This is nuanced stuff,” Streicher said. “It takes an expert to be able to help somebody with that. and most people out there, especially if you have someone who only prescribes patches, is going to be scratching their head and saying, ‘I don’t know how to help you.’ So keep looking. Keep looking until you find a doctor who has expertise in hormone therapy.”

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Because whether it means finding a brand name versus a generic, another form of transdermal application, seeing if you’re a candidate for oral estrogen, or just waiting things out—options, and care, do exist.

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The post Impacted by the Estrogen Patch Shortage? Here Are Your Options. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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A Black landlord in Texas says that for two years, postal workers refused to deliver mail to her properties because she rented rooms to white tenants.

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Lebene Konan owns two rental properties in Euless, Texas, and according to her complaint in USPS v. Konan, the mail carrier servicing her rental properties simply stopped doing his job.

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For nearly three months, the United States Postal Service stopped delivering mail altogether. She wasn’t getting her mail, and neither were her tenants. Her mail carrier took it upon himself to decide which pieces of mail were delivered and which weren’t.

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He also marked important documents addressed to both Konan and her tenants as “undeliverable” and returned them to sender. At one point, he changed the mailbox lock so that only one tenant could access it. (And yes, that tenant was white.)

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In the age of instant gratification via text message and email, the importance of mail seems to be dwindling. But when a mail carrier refuses to deliver mail, they’re potentially deciding who gets access to paychecks, credit card statements, court notices, government benefits, and—critically, given the maniac in the White House—ballot and election information.

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Konan says the reason for this deplorable behavior was explicit: The postal workers objected to a Black woman owning property and renting said property to white tenants.

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So she filed a lawsuit against the United States Postal Service seeking money damages.

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And the Supreme Court’s response was simple: tough luck. The USPS doesn’t have to pay you a dime.

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Racial discrimination is still illegal … officially

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If that seems grossly unfair to you, that’s because it is. If the USPS refuses to deliver your mail because you’re Black, then you should be able to sue the USPS for discrimination and get financially compensated for emotional distress and any lost income the USPS’s deplorable behavior caused.

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But unfortunately for Konan, the government generally enjoys something called sovereign immunity. Sovereign immunity is the rule that says the government can’t be sued unless the government agrees to be sued—which is a very convenient system if you happen to be the government.

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Sometimes, however, the federal government throws us rubes a bone and allows lawsuits against them for certain types of misconduct thus waiving sovereign immunity. One such law is the Federal Tort Claims Act (FTCA). The FTCA allows people to recover damages for torts. (A tort is a negligent or intentionally wrongful act that causes harm to another person, their property, or reputation.) Through the FTCA, Congress has agreed that when federal employees cause harm on the job, the government can be forced to pay.

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But that didn’t matter in Konan’s case, because the FTCA includes an exception for any “claim arising out of the loss, miscarriage, or negligent transmission of letters or postal matter.” And in a 5-4 decision authored by Justice Clarence Thomas, the Supreme Court ruled that this exception includes the intentional withholding of mail, too.

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Even deliberate refusal to deliver mail triggers sovereign immunity under Thomas’s strained interpretation of the law.

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Apparently you can intentionally “lose” mail. When was the last time you intentionally lost anything?

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The Supreme Court’s ruling doesn’t endorse the racist conduct. It’s still against the law to discriminate against Black people—officially, at least.

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But if there’s no right to obtain damages when a racist postal worker refuses to deliver mail because he’s big mad that a Black woman owns a couple pieces of property, then the postal service has no financial incentives to stop racist employees from tossing Black people’s mail into a river.

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The vanishing right to damages

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Konan sits alongside a series of recent Supreme Court decisions narrowing the availability of damages when federal officials violate individual rights.

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In 2017’s Ziglar v. Abbasi, the Court refused to allow damages claims brought by Muslim men detained after the 9/11 terror attacks who alleged they were held in abusive conditions because of their religion and national origin.

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Three years later, in Hernandez v. Mesa, the Court refused to allow a damages suit against a border patrol agent who shot and killed a Mexican teenager who was on the Mexico side of the border. The majority pointed to national security and foreign relations concerns when it declined to recognize a remedy.

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(Read: Trump’s Racism Carries No Consequences—And That’s Scary)

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And in 2022’s Egbert v. Boule, the Court again rejected a damages claim after a border patrol agent allegedly used excessive force against a U.S. citizen—on the citizen’s own property—and retaliated against him for complaining.

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These cases involved different doctrines and different fact patterns. But they all add up to one truth: There aren’t a lot of ways to hold the federal government or its employees financially accountable for misconduct. And more doors slam shut every time the Supreme Court drops a ruling like Konan into the pile.

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Money damages are a deterrent

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Civil rights laws are much easier to ignore when violating them is free. Money damages are one of the few ways that can reliably get a government’s attention.

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Public institutions rarely decide to behave better because they’ve experienced a sudden burst of ethical clarity. Large organizations respond when they have to write large checks and then explain to taxpayers why they’re spending millions paying out settlements rather than implementing reforms to make sure federal employees treat the law as more than just a suggestion.

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Research on police misconduct settlements bears this out. A national database of settlements published by the NAACP Legal Defense Fund has identified hundreds of cases where payouts were followed by policy changes inside police departments.

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When the availability of money damages disappears, accountability starts to wane. Enforcement becomes dependent on internal disciplinary mechanisms within federal agencies or on prosecutorial discretion. Oftentimes, the institution accused of wrongdoing simply investigates itself to decide whether anything bad actually happened. (kind of like what the DOJ is doing right now with the Epstein files.)

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The Supreme Court’s decision in Konan did not legalize discrimination. But if federal employees can intentionally withhold someone’s mail and the federal government never has to pay damages for it, then incentives to behave lawfully disappear. The incentives to deliver mail to everyone, irrespective of their skin color or property ownership status, shrink.

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The law may say what they can’t do.

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But the budget tells them what they can get away with.

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Editor’s note (March 4, 2026): The dek, or summary, of this story has been updated for clarity.

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The post The Supreme Court Keeps Finding New Ways to Make Discrimination Free appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Religious freedom wins in Indianapolis

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An Indiana court permanently barred the state from enforcing its near-total abortion ban yesterday. The ACLU filed the class action lawsuit more than three years ago on the grounds that the state’s anti-abortion law violated the state Religious Freedom Restoration Act. The civil rights group argued that Judaism prioritizes the health of the pregnant person over that of the fetus. It’s unclear what yesterday’s decision means for abortion access in the state; Indiana currently completely bans abortion with limited exceptions.

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U.S. prenatal care falters

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Fewer Americans are getting early prenatal care, which is essential to detecting maternal or fetal health problems. A new CDC report shows that 75% of all pregnant people received first-trimester prenatal care between 2021 and 2024, a 3% drop from 2016-2021. One expert cited maternity care deserts as a potential cause. Rather than funding hospitals, though, state governments are directing millions of dollars to “crisis pregnancy centers,” reports News from the States. These anti-abortion faux clinics rarely provide prenatal care.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Court deals blow to Ohio fetal remains law

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An Ohio appeals court ruled this week that pregnant people who have procedural abortions—and the clinics that care for them—cannot be forced to bury or cremate the remains of their fetuses. The law was blocked by a county-level court after Ohio’s legislature passed it in 2020. Clinics said it would deter people from seeking abortions, and the three-justice panel agreed that the policy ran afoul of the abortion-rights amendment added into the state constitution in 2023. “Ohio voters said what they meant,” the justices wrote.

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Teachers can out trans kids, SCOTUS rules

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The Supreme Court this week blocked California from enforcing legislation that limited how schools notify parents about students coming out as trans. The majority opinion said the parents, who sought a religious exemption to the education policy, were exercising the First Amendment’s Free Exercise clause. In her dissent, Justice Elena Kagan said the ruling is at odds with the 2022 ruling that overturned Roe v. Wade by undercutting the substantive due process argument used to justify federal abortion protection.

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This news roundup first appeared in our newsletter, Rewire Weekly. Sign up here to get the latest reproductive rights news, expert analysis, and a peek into the RNG newsroom—fresh to your inbox.

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The post Indiana Court Blocks Near-Total Abortion Ban appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Indiana, Court, Blocks, Near-Total, Abortion, Ban", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/ReproRoundup_02.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/06/indiana-court-blocks-near-total-abortion-ban/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-10 03:01:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165785", "lang_id": "1", "title": "There’s More Drama at the Supreme Court (Podcast)", "title_slug": "theres-more-drama-at-the-supreme-court-podcast", "title_hash": "9836a7bea39767cc7d2b4c23bb6d21c8", "summary": "Can our democracy withstand much more infighting from the Justices?\nThe post There’s More Drama at the Supreme Court (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode! Imani and Jess spill the tea on the recent Supreme Court drama, from infighting among the justices in the Trump tariff decision, to retirement rumours, and why it is more than political theater when the president attacks the independence of the judiciary.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Episodes like this take time, research, and a commitment to the truth. If Boom! Lawyered helps you understand what’s at stake in our courts, chip in to keep our fearless legal analysis alive. Become a member today.

Imani’s column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles, is back in 2026! Sign up for her newsletter here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post There’s More Drama at the Supreme Court (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "There’s, More, Drama, the, Supreme, Court, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/BL-S09-E51-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/03/05/theres-more-drama-at-the-supreme-court-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-10 03:01:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165783", "lang_id": "1", "title": "New Kansas Bathroom Law Likely to Harm Mental Health, Increase Risks for Trans People, Experts Say", "title_slug": "new-kansas-bathroom-law-likely-to-harm-mental-health-increase-risks-for-trans-people-experts-say", "title_hash": "1c20e396b79c4b1c6eab9b227b0fac50", "summary": "“This type of stigmatizing treatment is associated with significant psychological harm,” one expert said.\nThe post New Kansas Bathroom Law Likely to Harm Mental Health, Increase Risks for Trans People, Experts Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Refusing to allow transgender Kansans the ability to use the bathroom of their choice or hold documents that match their gender affects their mental health and may open them to acts of violence, researchers and doctors say.

And claims that women are safer because of restrictive laws, as proponents said during Kansas legislative hearings, aren’t supported by evidence.

The situation frustrates and worries Susan Peach, who cried last week when her daughter turned in her Kansas driver’s license to comply with the state’s new law targeting transgender residents.

“They clipped the corner of the first license,” she wrote online. “It was as if someone had clipped her wings.”

The question now plaguing this Merriam mother is where her 20-year-old daughter, Elora Peach, will go to the restroom at the University of Kansas, where she is enrolled in the five-year Legal Education Accelerated Degree Program.

Early in her transition, Peach said, her daughter was kicked out of men’s restrooms twice.

“I’m worried that if she were to walk into a men’s room, they are absolutely going to send her away,” she said. “She does not look like a man. She’s a beautiful woman.”

National experts submitted testimony last week in a Douglas County District Court case filed by two Lawrence men who are challenging the new Kansas law, which forces transgender people to use private spaces and hold state documents that match the sex they were assigned at birth.

The two men, using pseudonyms of Daniel Doe and Matthew Moe, are suing the state to stop implementation of Senate Bill 244. On Friday, the court will hear arguments on whether to issue a temporary restraining order, which would delay enforcement of the law for up to 14 days, with a possible extension of another 14 days. That would give the two sides time to prepare arguments over a preliminary injunction, which would block enforcement until the lawsuit is resolved.

Experts in court filings

Ayden Scheim, an epidemiologist and biostatistician who is completing a systematic review on legal gender recognition for the World Health Organization, said in testimony that stigma, discrimination, and violence toward transgender people is widespread.

Transgender people report “high levels of discrimination and violence,” he wrote in a 57-page court filing for the Kansas case. In a 2022 survey of 92,000 transgender and nonbinary adults, 30 percent reported being verbally harassed the previous year, Scheim said.

The problems are made worse by documents that don’t match a person’s outward appearance, Scheim said.

“Transgender persons experience discrimination and poor treatment due specifically to identity documents that do not accurately reflect the sex they know themselves to be and that they live as,” he said.

The 2015 U.S. Trans Survey found nearly one-third of respondents who presented an identity document that did not match their gender presentation had at least one negative experience, including verbal harassment, denial of service, being asked to leave a venue, and assault.

Racial and ethnic minority responders were more likely to report harassment or violence, Scheim said.

Angela Turpin, a pediatric endocrinologist and medical director for the Gender Pathways Services Clinic at Children’s Mercy Kansas City, provided a 29-page court filing that said the impact of incongruent driver’s licenses on transgender people increases gender dysphoria.

Being transgender is not a mental health condition, she said. However, gender dysphoria, which is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual for Mental Health Disorders, occurs when someone is struggling with feeling a marked incongruence between one’s experienced or expressed gender and their assigned sex, Turpin said.

“From a medical perspective, denying access to facilities consistent with a person’s gender identity constitutes a form of social non-affirmation,” she said.

Social affirmation is an important component of treatment for gender dysphoria, Turpin said, and when transgender individuals are required to use facilities inconsistent with their gender identity, it separates them from others.

“This type of stigmatizing treatment is associated with significant psychological harm,” she said, adding that patients subjected to requirements and penalties outlined in Kansas’ new law expressed feelings of rejection, isolation, shame, and social stigma.

The result is elevated rates of anxiety, depressive symptoms, and suicidal ideation, Turpin said.

If the new Kansas law remains in place, transgender individuals in the state are more likely to experience diminished psychological well-being; decreased access to educational, employment and housing opportunities; and increased likelihood of harassment and violence, Turpin said.

No harm to women

Kansas Rep. Charlotte Esau, R-Olathe, supported the Kansas bill during House debate, saying that women who had been assaulted had told her they only feel safe in women-only private spaces.

“If they are in a place that they believe is for more than one person but only one gender, and it’s their gender, and they feel safe and they hear a male voice in the background, the trauma starts all over again,” she said. “I’ve had folks tell me they won’t go out in public, they won’t go to public pools, where they have to go to a locker room.”

Kansas Rep. Alexis Simmons, D-Topeka, disputed Esau’s argument. Simmons revealed that she had been sexually assaulted and said she never thought it was anyone else’s responsibility to manage her trauma.

“I spent years in therapy, “ she said. “I drained my savings to pay for therapy. I worked exceedingly hard to get to a place where I could do something like I am today, sharing it for the betterment of other people.”

“I do not appreciate my trauma being used to justify legislation that we know will cause harm to people,” she added.

Esau didn’t answer Kansas Reflector questions about how many women reached out to her about their concerns or how they will react to seeing and hearing transgender Kansans who look like men and have lower voices in the women’s restroom, which they are now required to use by law.

Experts who have studied the topic say there is no evidence that banning transgender people from spaces that match their gender identity makes anyone safer.

“This is a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist,” said Elana Redfield, federal policy director at the Williams Institute, a University of California, Los Angeles, think tank that tracks gender identity law and public policy.

“There’s no evidence that suggests that inclusion of transgender people in bathrooms or getting ideas that are affirming leads to any kind of negative consequence,” she said.

In a February 2025 report, institute researchers studied states that enacted bathroom bills and found no change in rates of violence or harassment in bathrooms, she said.

The study found incidents of violence or harassment in private spaces like bathrooms and locker rooms were rare and, in fact, negative incidents were more likely to occur if a transgender person tried to use a bathroom that matched their sex assigned at birth.

More people were denied access or verbally harassed in the latter situation, the study said.

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Kansas Reflector is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Kansas Reflector maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Sherman Smith for questions: info@kansasreflector.com.

The post New Kansas Bathroom Law Likely to Harm Mental Health, Increase Risks for Trans People, Experts Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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It can be easy for couple to fall into routines and feel like roommates. Is it possible to bring back the spark to become lovers again?

The post When You Feel Like Roommates But Want to Be Lovers Again appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "When, You, Feel, Like, Roommates, But, Want, Lovers, Again", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/GettyImages-1163764138.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/when-you-feel-like-roommates-but-want-to-be-lovers-again/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:43:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165321", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Deal With Anxiety in Relationships", "title_slug": "how-to-deal-with-anxiety-in-relationships", "title_hash": "f956c72c84cf83eacf85a57e6e6beacf", "summary": "Learn how couples can manage anxiety in relationships using Gottman principles, emotional safety, gentle communication, and daily positivity.\nThe post How to Deal With Anxiety in Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn how couples can manage anxiety in relationships using Gottman principles, emotional safety, gentle communication, and daily positivity.

The post How to Deal With Anxiety in Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Deal, With, Anxiety, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/GettyImages-1389745643.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-anxiety/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:43:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165172", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Delegating to Girls in Dating & Seduction", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-delegating-to-girls-in-dating-seduction", "title_hash": "dc2e5bca6500ff603d83b315fb6fa0ca", "summary": "What do you do when you encounter a situation mid-seduction that you aren’t sure how to solve? Well, assuming your girl is bought in, it’s time to delegate!\nThe man’s got to lead.\nYou have to take full responsibility for the seduction.\nYou’ve got to be the one calling the shots.\nExcept, sometimes, it’s actually better to let the girl handle some things.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"delegating$ What do you do when you encounter a situation mid-seduction that you aren’t sure how to solve? Well, assuming your girl is bought in, it’s time to delegate!

The man’s got to lead.

You have to take full responsibility for the seduction.

You’ve got to be the one calling the shots.

Except, sometimes, it’s actually better to let the girl handle some things.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Delegating, Girls, Dating, Seduction", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/delegating-to-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-delegating-girls-dating-seduction", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165170", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Beyond the Club: The 4 Best Places to Meet Women in the Late 2020s", "title_slug": "beyond-the-club-the-4-best-places-to-meet-women-in-the-late-2020s", "title_hash": "79b0027e40de3ff0d3b5993f00a3363a", "summary": "The old “club for clubbing’s sake” is dead. Discover the 4 best places to meet women in the late 2020s where the crowds actually are.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"best$ The old “club for clubbing’s sake” is dead. Discover the 4 best places to meet women in the late 2020s where the crowds actually are.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Beyond, the, Club:, The, Best, Places, Meet, Women, the, Late, 2020s", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/best-nightlife-places-to-meet-women-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/beyond-club-4-best-places-meet-women-late-2020s", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165171", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Keep a Female Friend Attracted WITHOUT Making a Move", "title_slug": "how-to-keep-a-female-friend-attracted-without-making-a-move", "title_hash": "2a05290b1ea3256febac1c3dd51e55d7", "summary": "The secret to keeping a female friend attracted to you without having to sleep with her: keep the flirtation and tension dialed UP… just not TOO much.\nCommenting on my article about how to turn a female friend into your girlfriend, jj9182 asks:\nHi Chase & Co.,\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"keeping$ The secret to keeping a female friend attracted to you without having to sleep with her: keep the flirtation and tension dialed UP… just not TOO much.

Commenting on my article about how to turn a female friend into your girlfriend, jj9182 asks:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Keep, Female, Friend, Attracted, WITHOUT, Making, Move", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/keep-female-friend-attracted-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-keep-female-friend-attracted-without-making-move", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165169", "lang_id": "1", "title": "\"I Never Loved Him\": Is Women's Love Ever Actually True (or Not)?", "title_slug": "i-never-loved-him-is-womens-love-ever-actually-true-or-not", "title_hash": "009f5956ad80a4b15b38db35ae1853e9", "summary": "Many women claim they never loved their exes. They may even claim to have never loved YOU. Is this true… and if so, is women’s love EVER ‘for real’?\nLet’s crack open a topic that threatens to blacken your soul and ruin your dreams!\nI kid, but it’s a relevant topic, and well worth discussing on Girls Chase.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"do$ Many women claim they never loved their exes. They may even claim to have never loved YOU. Is this true… and if so, is women’s love EVER ‘for real’?

Let’s crack open a topic that threatens to blacken your soul and ruin your dreams!

I kid, but it’s a relevant topic, and well worth discussing on Girls Chase.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Never, Loved, Him:, Womens, Love, Ever, Actually, True, or, Not", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/03/never-loved-him-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/i-never-loved-him-womens-love-ever-actually-true-or-not", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165167", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Dr. Harrison Lee Approaches Facial Rejuvenation", "title_slug": "how-dr-harrison-lee-approaches-facial-rejuvenation", "title_hash": "73935648fe36e35775e4b3580e257adb", "summary": "An Experienced Plastic Surgeon's Approach to Restoring Vitality to Your Face", "content": "Some are still adjusting to this new year; writing a bucket list or deciding on a resolution and ready for big changes — a renewed interest in life. Those who want to improve their self-esteem and regain a youthful appearance can choose facial rejuvenation surgery, now modernized to deliver incremental, long-lasting, and safe improvements. \nFacial plastic surgery has come a long way from its beginnings in 600 BCE in India, with unique procedures emerging in different countries around the world hundreds of years apart. Today, the medical procedure is centered around technical restraint and outcomes that help patients age well. Surgeons now approach the face as a dynamic structure, thanks to advances in imaging, instrumentation, and surgical education.\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Chin Enhancement Surgery\nIn 2026, innovation is not the headline for the facial plastic surgery field. It’s the pride of leadership. This role requires significant training and the ability to explain complex anatomy to patients in practical, straightforward terms. Dr. Harrison Lee is a key figure in this discussion because his career reflects a path leading to modern facial rejuvenation in a less-invasive form. His work exemplifies how structural science and aesthetic judgment fit together.\nThis generation of patients arrives at their consultation with greater expectations today than in past eras of plastic surgery. They expect clarity, realistic goals, and procedures that fit neatly into their lives and don’t interrupt their day-to-day schedules. \n\nA Leader Defined by Breadth of Expertise\n\nDr. Lee has 27 years of skilled experience in surgery and holds practices in Beverly Hills and New York City. His background is significant and is stellar within his field. He holds triple board certification in oral and maxillofacial surgery, otolaryngology with a head and neck surgery focus, and facial plastic and reconstructive surgery.\nHis combined certifications and surgical experience are unique and heavily influence how Dr. Lee plans and performs surgery. He considers the face as a complete structure, using a holistic eye to consider bone support, muscle position, and skin quality. These considerations all guide his decision-making. This approach supports a consistent take across all age groups and facial types.\nIn consultations, Dr. Lee emphasizes understanding both anatomical features and patients' goals and concerns. In each case, thanks to these considerations, it is, in his view, a collaboration. He makes an effort to balance structural possibilities with personal preferences, achieving results that are individualized and enduring.\n\nWhy Deep Plane and Endoscopic Facelifts Matter\n\nThe goal of a modern facelift is not just surface tightening. Today, deep plane facelifts restore contour and balance through a process of repositioning deeper facial layers. Longer-lasting results are achieved by reducing skin tension. \nFor patients who fear looking “overdone,” Dr. Lee focuses on continuing a person’s unique features with each surgical plan. Each procedure avoids covering up or overwriting identity. Satisfied patients are confident in their outcomes. Endoscopic techniques are based on the same principles. These procedures are performed with small incisions and specialized tools, resulting in less visible scarring and faster recovery times. \n\nStructural Knowledge as a Surgical Advantage\n\nDr. Lee’s training across dental, medical, and surgical disciplines includes an accelerated dental program at Tufts, residency training in oral and maxillofacial surgery, medical school, and a head and neck surgery residency at Mount Sinai.\nA facial plastic surgery fellowship in Beverly Hills completed this educational foundation. His path supports Dr. Lee’s ability to consider complex facial anatomy with knowledge and clarity. When patients discuss options, he explains how structure affects outcomes, helping create a team-directed, informed decision.\n\nEducation, Research, and the Road Ahead\n\nDr. Lee’s influence extends beyond the operating room. He teaches, publishes research, and speaks at national and international conferences. His work contributes to the evolution of standards in facial plastic surgery and to ongoing professional education. With the beginning of 2026, Dr. Lee’s focus remains on refinement and innovation, based on advanced minimally invasive techniques. \nThis article is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. If you are seeking medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, please consult a medical professional or healthcare provider.\nYou Might Also Dig: \nThe Most Popular Cosmetic Treatments for GuysHow to Make Yourself More DateableEverything You Need to Know About Cosmetic Height Surgery", "keywords": "How, Dr., Harrison, Lee, Approaches, Facial, Rejuvenation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/skin/how-dr-harrison-lee-approaches-facial-rejuvenation/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1772657489.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/skin/how-dr-harrison-lee-approaches-facial-rejuvenation.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165168", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Flirt", "title_slug": "how-to-flirt", "title_hash": "d699f24fe5a82dae698ab031ee9b1d71", "summary": "Most of us would like to be better at flirting. \nIt seems as though the most expert flirters among us mingle effortlessly with their crushes, while so many of us blush, stumble over our words and generally fail to make an impression. \nFlirting requires a few key ingredients blended to perfection, including confidence, wit, flattery and respect, but often it seems like a gargantuan task to work up the nerve to talk to someone you’re attracted to, let alone seal the deal by charming them. It can be particularly awkward for straight guys, since the sense that women are so different from men (in some cases true, in others less so) can make talking to them, period, feel daunting.\nThis difficulty helps to explain the meteoric rise of the self-styled pickup artist culture in the 2010s, which encouraged shy and/or nerdy men to approach women by providing a few paint-by-numbers rules for gaining their attention.\nUnfortunately, these rules were typically based on shredding the self-esteem of the", "content": "Most of us would like to be better at flirting. \nIt seems as though the most expert flirters among us mingle effortlessly with their crushes, while so many of us blush, stumble over our words and generally fail to make an impression. \nFlirting requires a few key ingredients blended to perfection, including confidence, wit, flattery and respect, but often it seems like a gargantuan task to work up the nerve to talk to someone you’re attracted to, let alone seal the deal by charming them. It can be particularly awkward for straight guys, since the sense that women are so different from men (in some cases true, in others less so) can make talking to them, period, feel daunting.\nThis difficulty helps to explain the meteoric rise of the self-styled pickup artist culture in the 2010s, which encouraged shy and/or nerdy men to approach women by providing a few paint-by-numbers rules for gaining their attention.\nUnfortunately, these rules were typically based on shredding the self-esteem of the person (typically woman) you’re flirting with, who is usually selected simply because they’re “a ten” (as in, scores 10/10 for looks.) The aim is to “neg” these women to bring them down a peg — issuing a kind of backhanded compliment calculated to unsettle her and make her insecure, and thus more grateful for your attention. \nThis is an awful way to think about women, relationships and yourself. Pickup artists rely on an outmoded, market-based and sexist model of gender relations, and use unethical and ultimately ineffective strategies.\nRELATED: 1 Thing Lots of Guys Forget About Picking Up Women\nYet some pickup artists’ strategies remain popular to this day because they tap into a desperate need for many men to find a way to confidently approach women. What we need, then, is an approach to flirting that contains some of the (few) useful ideas from pickup artist culture, but which isn't antisocial and rooted in damaging ideas about women and dating. \nBehold, then, some kinder, more effective flirting tips for the modern gentleman who doesn't condescend to or fear women, but would like to be better at flirting with them.\nLet’s break it down:\n\nWhat Is Flirting?\n\nIn the simplest possible terms, flirting is usually a form of conversation that reveals a sexual or romantic attraction to another person, but which is lighthearted rather than serious in tone. It’s usually the first step to elevating a platonic relationship into a romantic one, or to signal a romantic intention right off the bat.\n\nTwo of the best flirters in the game face off against each other.\nFlirting can be done in lots of different ways — in person, over texts or DMs, via emails or letters, and more. While it’s often primarily a case of using your words, it can also involve body language or gestures and, in some cases, physical touch. \nIt’s often an activity that occurs in a kind of excited mental state — when it’s going well, the rest of the world can melt away and all that’s left is you and the person you're flirting with. But it can also be super awkward when your jokes don't land, or the other person doesn't seem to be vibing with you — at which point it's best to beat a hasty retreat. \nFlirting can sometimes be mistaken for simple politeness, or vice-versa. Charismatic and charming people may seem like they’re flirting with everyone they talk to; the line between casual flirtation and genuine attraction can be blurry and shift depending on one’s perception.\nBut while flirtation can be mysterious and hard to pin down, it very much does exist. Want to get better at it? Keep reading. \n\nBasic Flirting Tips\n\nTo be good at flirting, and to engineer situations in which flirting is likely to be maximally effective, it’s important to consider the following points:\nChoose the Right Environment\nIt’s perfectly appropriate to flirt with single people in social environments where romantic approaches are customary, for example in bars and at parties. Of course, flirting on dating apps such as Tinder is appropriate, too.\nHowever, there are other circumstances where flirting is not appropriate and should generally not be initiated. Flirting at work is never appropriate if you are in a position of power over your coworker (for example, if you are her boss), and in general you should not try to flirt with a co-worker during work hours — she’s trying to be professional! \nRELATED: People You Shouldn’t Ask on a Date\nSituations when women are trying to go about their daily business, such as at the gym or on the bus or train, are not great times to approach her, either, as they are likely to be received as an annoyance rather than a compliment.\nWork to Your Own Strengths\nLots of us would love to have Don Draper-levels of effortless charm, but if you’re naturally a bit more goofy or shy than the smooth 1960s Mad Men (and women), forcing this persona is not going to work. \nBesides, it’s unnecessary. Plenty of women prefer down-to-earth, funny and self-deprecating men and find the calculated slickness of more traditional flirters off-putting, so make sure that you’re flirting in a way that’s natural to you and compatible with your personality type.\nRELATED: Dating Tips for Shy Guys\nShyness doesn’t preclude you from having a successful flirting encounter. If you are shy, you will clearly have to build up the nerve to approach women — almost everyone finds this part somewhat difficult, by the way, even if they don't seem to! \nFear not, though, because plenty of women find shy men endearing. Michael Cera is often used as a go-to example of an inept flirter — someone who’s hopelessly awkward and clueless with women — but some of my most dateable friends find find him irresistible. Somebody out there is bound to find your specific personality quirks endearing, so go for a funny, offbeat approach if that’s more your thing, rather than faking it.\nPay Attention to Body Language\nFlirting is an exercise that takes place non-verbally as well as verbally, so pay close attention to touch, body language and positioning. Often, women will signal that they’re interested in being approached in subtle, non-verbal ways: by smiling, touching you or their hair, or positioning themselves closer to you, for example. Don’t be oblivious to these signs, as they will give you crucial information about how well your encounter is going.\n\nHe’s waited for a sign she’s interested (“I see you glassin’ me, that's why I'm asking, B”); he's landed a few genuine, respectful compliments about her appearance (“you've made a real effort tonight and it shows”), and he's approached with a fun, casual, physical approach, which comes naturally to him. A solid flirt.\nDealing With Rejection\nRomantic rejection is an inevitable part of flirting and dating, and the best flirters know how to take it on the chin. This improves their ability to flirt because they come off as relaxed and unfazed, whereas a disproportionate fear of rejection makes you come off as insecure, and sometimes causes you to behave in controlling and preemptively-defensive ways (“I bet you’re sick of hearing how pretty you are, so I’m not going to say it.”)\nOne good thing about the pickup-artist community is that it promotes the idea that flirting opportunities are abundant, so you don’t need to be too devastated by any one particular rejection. \nUnfortunately this tends to be framed in terms of markets and statistical models that make women sound more like commodities than people, but the underlying principle is an old and sound one — think of your parents’ saying, “there are plenty more fish in the sea.” \nRELATED: 4 Ways Guys Are Often Accidentally Sexist\nBearing this in mind takes the pressure off any one particular encounter and helps you regain perspective when things don’t go as well as you hoped.\nCheck Your Level of Sexual Intensity\nJust because sex might be a goal for you doesn’t mean that you should bring it up right away. Immediately descending into explicit sexual territory is likely to make the woman you’re with feel uncomfortable, no matter how open-minded she is. \nThis will come across as creepy rather than smooth, so keep it above board, and at most allude to sex in a refined, low-key way once your conversation has been going very well for quite some time. \nBetter yet, let her take the lead on this. If she wants to make the situation sexually charged, she can, but there’s no sense in you trying to force it.\n\nDon't be like this guy.\nConsider the Conversation Topics\nConventional flirting advice recommends avoiding heavy topics such as religion and politics, which is generally sound for a first encounter, but if you want to make a lasting impression you’ll need to delve a bit deeper than safe topics like work or the weather. \nThese “water cooler” conversation starters run the risk of rendering you boring and forgettable, whereas bringing something more thoughtful and novel to the table will make a better impression. This is especially the case for online dating: While a confident, “Hello! How are you?” can be a decent start when delivered in the flesh, it’s a pretty entry-level opening on a dating app where women are inundated with identical approaches.\nThis is not to suggest, though, that you should be pointlessly controversial, deliberately offensive or play devil’s advocate for the sake of it. Flirting is meant to be light, engaging and convivial, so try to hit the sweet spot between banal small talk and heavy, debate-laden topics. \nRELATED: Best Tinder Conversation Starters to Get a Response With\nA good starting point could be a respectful, genuine compliment, followed by an interesting question (“what's your favorite book/movie/song?” is better than “so what do you do?”), before moving on to explore any mutual interests.\nKeep It a Two-Way Street\nWhen you’re flirting, it’s important to ask lots of questions and to be interested in the answers. Ask follow-up questions. Most human beings want to be thought of as interesting rather than always simply being in the presence of more interesting people. \nThat can lead to one of the biggest potential flirting pitfalls: if you try to be too confident or showy, you might leave her feeling as though your encounter was the \"you show,\" in which you paraded and peacocked at the expense of making her feel entertaining or interesting. \nRemember that flirting should be a mutually enjoyable encounter rather than a performance, and you should see the person you’re flirting with as a whole person, not simply a target.\nRELATED: The Official AskMen First-Date Guide\nFlirting is an art that most people approach with some sense of insecurity and hesitation. If you only compare yourself to the Don Drapers and Joan Harrises of the world, you’re going to feel as though you are uniquely bad at flirting, but you’re almost certainly not. \nThe fundamentals are simple: treat potential dates like people, not strange aliens from Planet Woman; pay attention to body language; approach in an appropriate environment; and keep the conversation interesting, flattering and convivial.\nArmed with the above tips, plus a philosophical approach to rejection and a healthy view on gender relations, you can't go too far wrong. Why not make today the day you finally approach your crush with some flirtatious banter: the worst they can say is “no,” so you’ve got everything to gain.\nDon’t Use A.I. \nLots of flirting happens digitally these days — over texts, social media DMs, and on dating apps. And the recent rise of so-called ‘artificial intelligence’ programs that can generate convincing text for people may have some guys seeking A.I. help for their flirting. \n“Using AI for flirting texts is the written equivalent of catfishing: it’s not you,” says Brian Franklin, co-founder of Vows and Speeches. “However you communicate, it should be consistent with who you are in the real world. Imagine reading these brilliant, flirty texts (powered by the world’s supercomputers) — only to find that the person is absolutely incapable of doing that. It’s a complete misrepresentation of your abilities and who you are.”\nIf you’re feeling anxious about your flirting skill level, there are better approaches than outsourcing your banter to software. For one, you may be surprised to learn that people who will like you for you may appreciate a down-to-Earth approach rather than pure suaveness. Everyone is different, and the ultra-smooth approach that works for some guys will actually fall flat with many dating app matches. \nRELATED: Can A.I. Actually Improve Your Dating Life?\nIn fact, one thing less-confident flirters can do is lean into their perceived shortcomings in that regard. For instance, Franklin says you could say something like,\n“There’s something you should know: When I’m actually attracted to someone, my ability to think of flirty texts goes way downhill. So if it seems like I’m really bad at the texting thing or not actually flirting with you, that’s the reason. I’m better in person.” \n“Beyond that, just be yourself the best you can,” Franklin says. “This is someone that potentially is someone you’d spend time with, who would quickly realize who you are and how good or bad of a texter you are in real life. Don’t start something that could be really fun or amazing with a lie.”\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n10 Simple Ways to Flirt Better\nFlirting Tips From Professionals\nWhat Guys Get Wrong About Flirting", "keywords": "How, Flirt", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/03/17-044352-how_to_flirt.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-flirt.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165165", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is AdultFriendFinder legit? Only if you can follow these 4 rules.", "title_slug": "is-adultfriendfinder-legit-only-if-you-can-follow-these-4-rules", "title_hash": "fd92e154900063391617447b801e5ebe", "summary": "Follow These Simple Rules to Get the Most Out of AFF", "content": "As one of the oldest and largest online dating sites, AdultFriendFinder has a massive community of singles and non-monogamous kinksters looking for fun, but that doesn’t mean using the site is easy. On the contrary, a lot of their web interface seems dated and counterintuitive, with key features or functions buried under multiple menus and sub-menus. \nGetting the most out of this site requires some trial and error, or at least an experienced guide, which is why we’ve got four essential tips to help you improve your AFF experience and connect with more people. That being said, it also helps to keep an open mind. If you enter your AFF experience with a narrow idea of exactly what you want, you’ll quickly find yourself disappointed. But if you start your search from a place of curiosity and allow yourself to be surprised, you may just discover new things about yourself in the process.\nHere are four essential steps for getting the most out of your AdultFriendFinder experience...\nThis content originally appeared on Mashable and has been adapted for AskMen's audience. To read the rest of the article, visit this page.", "keywords": ", AdultFriendFinder, legit, Only, you, can, follow, these, rules.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/is-adultfriendfinder-legit-only-if-you-can-follow-these-4-rules/christmas-gifts-500-x-500-px-500-x-500-px-1000-x-500-px-1-1772705864.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/is-adultfriendfinder-legit-only-if-you-can-follow-these-4-rules.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165166", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AdultFriendFinder features exclusive to paid users", "title_slug": "adultfriendfinder-features-exclusive-to-paid-users", "title_hash": "985e4850bd58dbc2d2dad41bcd314183", "summary": "Three AFF Perks Exclusive to Paid Users That Help Justify the Monthly Cost", "content": "Once you’ve made an account and explored what AdultFriendFinder has to offer, you’ll discover constant prompts to upgrade your account to a “Premium Gold Plan.” Before you reach for your credit card, it’s a good idea to consider the benefits of a paid membership. \nIf you’re on a tight budget, you can absolutely still have fun using AdultFriendFinder's free version, but the site does throw up some annoying barriers and limitations for free users. And an awful lot of content and quality-of-life stuff is waiting for you once you upgrade.\nThankfully, the site doesn’t make commitment difficult. You can test the waters with a one-month membership that will set you back $25.16, or you can commit to three months at a price of $20.95 per month. If the trial run goes well, you might opt to commit for the long term with a one-year membership at a monthly fee of just $14.95. Note, however, that you do have to manually cancel your Gold account after each membership period ends, as it does automatically renew your subscription by default. \nIntrigued but still need more information before you’re willing to commit? Here are three perks exclusive to paid users that help justify the monthly cost...\nThis content originally appeared on Mashable and has been adapted for AskMen's audience. To read the rest of the article, visit this page.", "keywords": "AdultFriendFinder, features, exclusive, paid, users", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/adultfriendfinder-features-exclusive-to-paid-users/christmas-gifts-500-x-500-px-500-x-500-px-1000-x-500-px-1772459968.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/adultfriendfinder-features-exclusive-to-paid-users.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "165164", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Bulk and Cut the Right Way, According to Fitness Pros", "title_slug": "how-to-bulk-and-cut-the-right-way-according-to-fitness-pros", "title_hash": "0404978070e031a2362b36d52c5459ba", "summary": "A Beginner’s Guide to Bulking and Cutting for Lean Gains", "content": "The bulk and cut has long been a staple strategy in the bodybuilding world — but fitness pros say many people aren’t doing it right. \nWhen done correctly, bulking and cutting can help you build a ton of muscle mass while also getting lean — a win-win. But making a few rookie mistakes could lead to putting on excess body fat while accidentally losing muscle.\n \nRELATED: How to Bulk Up \nBut don’t stress: We talked to three certified personal trainers to get the lowdown on exactly how to master bulking and cutting. Here’s how to tackle this age-old method the right way, with expert tips on both key components: diet and exercise.\n\nBulking\n\nThe bulking phase is all about building muscle mass — which means consuming more calories than your body technically needs while also lifting heavy weights. \nThis phase can last anywhere from three to six months, according to Dustin Simmons, a NCSF-certified personal trainer, NASM bodybuilding and physique coach, and VP of Fit Responder.\n“This is a good range for a lean bulk, allowing for solid muscle gain without excessive fat accumulation,” says Nick Olsen, a certified personal trainer and founder/CEO at X365 Fitness.\nDiet\nLet’s make one thing very clear: The bulking cycle doesn’t mean free rein to eat whatever you want, in whatever quantities you want. That’s what the bodybuilding world refers to as a “dirty bulk.”\nExperts advise ensuring you’re getting plenty of protein and fiber, and hydrating adequately. Most importantly, though, you should opt for high-quality whole foods over processed ones whenever possible, says Gunnar Peterson, a certified personal trainer and certified strength and conditioning coach who’s worked with a number of celebrities, and member of The Vitamin Shoppe’s Wellness Council.\nAnd don’t make any super drastic changes to your diet, either.\n“The key to avoiding weight swings is to make gradual adjustments,” says Simmons.\nIn order to bulk effectively, you’ll need to figure out your macro and calorie needs.\n“The best way to do this is to start with your maintenance calories (the amount needed to maintain your current weight) and then add 250 to 500 calories per day,” says Simmons.\n \nOlsen recommends using an online calculator to find out your total daily energy expenditure. From there, you’ll need to figure out how you up your intake by 250 to 500 calories — depending on your current size. According to Peterson, you should shoot for the lower end of that range if you weigh closer to 150 pounds, whereas you’ll want to aim for the higher end if you weigh closer to 250 pounds. \n“Your macronutrient split should prioritize protein (about 0.8 to 1.2 grams per pound of body weight),” adds Olsen. “Carbohydrates should make up 45 to 55 percent of your total calories, and healthy fats should make up 20 to 30 percent.”\nIt’s also helpful to start stepping on the scale daily. That way, Simmons says you can keep an eye on how much weight you’re gaining and at what rate, and then adjust your calorie intake accordingly.\n“Ideally, you want to aim for gaining about 0.5 to 1 pound per week,” he tells AskMen.\n \nPeterson also suggests keeping a food journal on an average week, being specific about what you’re consuming, and calculating your calories and macros accordingly. There are plenty of apps that can help you achieve this, like MyFitnessPal and Cronometer.\nExercise\nPetersen prioritizes compound lifts during the bulking cycle. \n“That means any exercise that involves more than one joint movement,” he explains. “Think chin-ups over biceps curls. Go for heavier loads and push until you reach technical failure.”\nOlsen agrees that while you can add some complementary isolation exercises into your training program, compound movements should be the focus.\nThe “Big Five” compound lifts are:\nSquatsDeadliftsBench pressesOverhead pressesBarbell rows\n“Progressive overload should be the priority in compound strength training exercises,” adds Olsen. “These movements maximize muscle fiber recruitment and stimulate hypertrophy. Keep reps in the six to 12 range with proper volume management (10 to 20 sets per muscle group per week).”\nAnd whatever you do, don’t neglect cardio — not only to support cardiovascular health but also to help with fat management. Additionally, Olsen and Simmons note that it’s important to have rest days so your body can rebuild and repair those microscopic tears in your muscle tissue, and do some mobility work to prevent injuries while lifting heavy.\nPro Tips\nPeterson notes that supplementation can be helpful during a bulk — but it’s important to remember that all the supplements in the world can’t compensate for an unhealthy diet or poor training program.\n“I’d recommend picking up the basics: a multivitamin, a quality protein powder/meal replacement powder, and an antioxidant to keep energy high and free radicals at bay,” he tells AskMen.\n \nRELATED: How to Create a Calorie Deficit Without Losing Muscle\nYou can always add to that list as you progress, but this is a solid starting point.\n\nCutting\n\nBy contrast, the cutting phase entails creating a calorie deficit via diet and exercise in order to reduce body fat while preserving muscle mass.\nThis phase typically lasts for six to 12 weeks, says Olsen, depending on how much fat needs to be lost.\n \nDiet\nDuring the cutting cycle, Olsen and Peterson advise finding your creating a moderate calorie deficit of about 300-500 calories per day (based on your maintenance calories). \n“Protein intake should stay high — around 1 to 1.2 grams per pound of body weight — to preserve muscle, while carbs and fats can be adjusted based on energy levels and personal preference,” adds Simmons.\nAgain, you may need to adjust your calorie and macro intake based on your progress, says Olsen — which is why it’s a good idea to keep weighing yourself regularly.\n“You’re aiming for slow but steady fat loss of about 0.5 to 1 percent of body weight per week,” he explains.\n \nShedding pounds any faster increases your risk of muscle loss, according to Simmons.\n\nExercise\n\nOne thing that remains the same as you transition from a bulk to a cut — aside from making high-quality protein a priority, of course — is that you should maintain your strength training intensity.\n“Continue lifting heavy to signal the body to keep muscle,” says Simmons. “The volume might decrease slightly to prevent burnout, but the intensity should stay high.\n \nOlsen suggests sticking mainly to compound movements with moderate rep ranges (around six to 12). He also notes that implementing low- to moderate-intensity cardio can promote fat loss while also increasing your calorie expenditure (thus helping you achieve that calorie deficit).\nAs for what types of cardio to try, Peterson recommends steady-state cardio (like jogging, cycling, rowing, or walking on an incline on the treadmill) and/or high-intensity interval training.\n \nPro Tips\nDon’t underestimate the importance of sleep and stress management when it comes to muscle building and retention, say Peterson and Simmons. According to Olsen, having consistently elevated levels of cortisol — the stress hormone — can take a toll on your results by hindering muscle growth and promoting muscle breakdown.\n“Put an almost unnatural emphasis on your sleep as well as other recovery protocols, and do your best to minimize outside stressors,” adds Peterson. “And make sure you stay hydrated. My good friend and nutritionist Philip Goglia says ‘water runs the show!’ and you have to keep that in mind no matter which way you are trying to move the needle.”\nAbove all, Simmons says it’s counterproductive to chase extreme deficits in the pursuit of quick results.\n“Too much cardio can backfire, and cutting calories too aggressively will burn muscle,” he explains. “Consistency always wins. The body changes gradually, so avoid drastic approaches that can hurt performance and long-term progress.”\nYou Might Also Dig:\nHow to Lose Weight With a Calorie DeficitHow to Get Lean Instead of BulkyHow to Bulk Up With Bodyweight Exercises", "keywords": "How, Bulk, and, Cut, the, Right, Way, According, Fitness, Pros", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-bulk-and-cut-the-right-way-according-to-fitness-pros/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1742306808.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-bulk-and-cut-the-right-way-according-to-fitness-pros.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-05 05:30:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "164729", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m Praying for My Husband to Cheat on Me to Make Things Easier", "title_slug": "im-praying-for-my-husband-to-cheat-on-me-to-make-things-easier", "title_hash": "7c2b3cc2b9d280ee52341401a4de715a", "summary": "My husband started doing well in life when he was young. Right after school, he had a very good job that paid him very well and also paid him big …", "content": "

My husband started doing well in life when he was young. Right after school, he had a very good job that paid him very well and also paid him big allowances. We married very early and set out to do great things together. He loved me, and I could see it. He provided for me and didn’t want me to do anything with my own money. The only problem I had with him was that he didn’t listen to me.

When the money was coming, I told him we should buy a piece of land wherever he wanted it. We lived in Bogoso then because of work. He told me he wouldn’t like to live in Bogoso, so there was no need to buy land over there. I said, “Fine, then buy it wherever you want it to be. Land is not perishable. Ages later, you can still go to it.” For three years, I watched my husband throw money around when we had nothing in our name.

He sent money home every month to build their family house. His dad would call and tell him what they needed for the family house, and he would send it. He would send money to pay his siblings’ children’s school fees. He had a sister who had three children from three different men. He was the one taking care of the children.

That didn’t bother me, but I wanted him to do something for himself—something we could call our own. I talked and talked until I sounded like a broken record. He gave money to his elder brother, who lived in Accra, to buy land there for him, and his brother did. We went there to see it and advised him to start building on it immediately. Even his own brother advised the same. He asked me, “Where are we going in life that we need to run this fast?”

It looked like I knew something was coming. I had lived in a family where we relied heavily on planning to get through. We used the vulture’s life as the example. They said every dry season the vulture said it was going to build its house, but it never did until the rain started and it began to suffer the harsh weather. It was my father’s favorite story on planning, so I learned that. But my husband believed life would stay the same for so long because we were young.

And then COVID happened. He was part of the first batch of people who were laid off because of COVID. He came home looking like he was attending his own funeral. He lost his voice for days. He fell sick to a point I thought he had contracted COVID. I encouraged him that better days were coming. Later, we had to move back to Accra.

I advised that we go and live with his parents, in the house he helped build, until we could figure out our lives together. Moving to Accra meant I wasn’t also going to work until I found a job. He didn’t listen. Instead, he rented a two-bedroom house for us, believing his experience would get us a better job very soon.

By 2023, he was still in the house without a job. I had a job that didn’t pay well. He even told me the job was beneath me, so I should wait for a better one, but I didn’t listen to him. I took the job. By 2023, we were relying solely on my income while a child was on the way. He had nothing going for him, so he decided to sell the land he bought to help him stay afloat.

I said, “No, you can’t sell it. We don’t sell land no matter what. That’s the investment for our children.” By the time I realized, he was counting proceeds from the sale. He said he was going to use the money to start a business, though he didn’t have any business in mind. I pleaded with him to put the money in the bank so we could slowly figure things out together. He bought a car he said he was going to do Uber with it.

My spirit took flight. I knew what was coming, but this man never listened to me. He worked like he had something to prove but came home with very little. He said he was learning the curves of the job, and later he would make it big. I watched him go out there and come home with disappointment. I told him, “You’re not doing badly. You’re only expecting too much. Keep going.”

I gave birth to twins. It meant we needed to buy everything twice. My salary wasn’t helping. His car business brought nothing. The pressure was too much; sometimes I hid in the bathroom and cried. Everyone he once helped turned their backs on him, including his own parents and siblings. I had to start a shop business with the little I had. By 2025, my shop had grown to a point that I had two ladies working for me.

My husband sold his car when he had a job. This job pays him close to GHC3,000 a month. I asked him to give the car to someone to work with, for at least a year, and we would see how much he would bring. He didn’t listen. He sold the car. To date, I don’t know what he did with the money. He said it was in the bank, but it’s all lies.

I’ve carried my husband on my shoulders since 2021. You’d think this new job would ground him to take care of the house with the little he earns. In his mind, I have money, so he doesn’t give me anything. He doesn’t provide for the house and doesn’t take care of the children. I’m doing everything. I need help. I need my husband to be the man I married, but the only time he proves to be a man is when he’s on top of me. He does nothing a man does apart from sex.

The saddest part of this is that he has settled in life. He has no ambition to start a business or even look for another lucrative job. He says he has tried enough already, and it’s time for him to appreciate and be content with what he has. How can a married man with twins and a home be content with GHC3,000 a month? That’s all he earns—no other money from anywhere. And this money doesn’t reach the house. I think it gets finished on the way before he gets to the house.

He takes from my shop and doesn’t pay. On weekends, if I tell him to visit the shop and check on the ladies, he would ask me what I’m doing that he has to go and do that job, forgetting I have meals to cook, I have a home to clean, and also kids to take care of. He does nothing but flex around with his shoulders high like he’s learning to fly.

I’m tired of carrying him. What’s a husband who has nothing apart from sex? He doesn’t even have dreams. A simple dream to buy a dress for the kids, he doesn’t have it. I can’t stand it any longer, so I’ve stopped giving in to intimacy. I’m scared another pregnancy would pop up and I would have to do everything on my own. In our last argument, he said, “I will get another woman, and you’ll be the one to have a heartbreak.”

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

I told him, “Even your current situation didn’t break my heart, and you think getting another woman will do that?” I’m praying very hard that he gets that woman. That would make my exit very easy and sweet. If I leave him now, they’ll say I’m leaving a man when he’s down. But if he gets another woman and I leave, my defense will be very simple: “I left him in the hands of another woman, so he’ll be fine.”

All I have left in my head is divorce. I know if nothing changes in his life, we won’t survive this year. It’s better alone than being with a man who makes you feel lonely.

—Sally

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": "I’m, Praying, for, Husband, Cheat, Make, Things, Easier", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/149617.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/im-praying-for-my-husband-to-cheat-on-me-to-make-things-easier/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-02 04:22:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "164730", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Didn’t Propose After 10 Years Together And I Just Found Out Why", "title_slug": "he-didnt-propose-after-10-years-together-and-i-just-found-out-why", "title_hash": "71121ae2a112835e105a8c863a8bbe62", "summary": "Fred and I have been friends since junior high school. As far back as I can remember, he has had a crush on me since then. Our friends always teased …", "content": "

Fred and I have been friends since junior high school. As far back as I can remember, he has had a crush on me since then. Our friends always teased us whenever they saw us together. Even the teachers heard the rumours that Claire and Fred might just be dating. Thankfully, they didn’t snitch on me, so my parents never knew why I came home late most of the time, or that their little girl wasn’t so little anymore and knew things.

I won’t tell you all the details, but we used to stay behind after the final bell and talk about quizzes and tests. Sometimes we gossiped about which teacher could be secretly dating whom while sharing ice cream or popcorn. There was a restaurant close to our school where we normally bought from. The owners even knew about us and expected us every day after school closed.

During the time of our BECE, we stayed awake to study together. We drank caffeine together and cuddled each other to sleep when we were too tired to keep our eyes open. Then another three years of senior high school came and went. I sent him money when he needed it, for food, for books, for something nice.

It was a simple dream that shouldn’t have cost much. That was the plan we had drawn together. He gave me all of him, and I gave him all of me. I mean from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet.

Close to a decade passed between us, and still he had not said anything about where we stood. Ten years together, but I never had the right to officially call him my boyfriend because he never asked. Still, he enjoyed all the benefits of being one. And I enjoyed the benefits of being his girlfriend too. But he never asked.

At first, I understood. We were just children who fell in love and ran with it. But we had grown now, and I believed he should just pop the question. It really needed to be asked.

Dear readers, remember when I said I gave him all of me? I meant it. If he asked on a whim, I gave it to him. So what exactly was I doing wrong?

Last month, I found out he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him, he did not deny it.

He said, “I have already prepared my family. She is the one I am going to marry.”

I asked, “So what happens to us then?”

He just said, “I don’t know.” But then he added, “At the end of the day, before God, she is the one I am marrying.”

I did not feel any better hearing his confession. I have been nothing but loyal to this man. I had no idea. I did not know when it happened. I sincerely thought we were an item, because he did not carry himself like a man who was playing girls as if we were some kind of game.

Fred is nice to me. He is not like the others. Maybe if there were a name for a well-mannered playboy, he would earn it. I believe he gave the same attention to both of us, which is something if you think about it. He could manage the two of us.

No boy has ever looked at me the way he does, especially when I am ill. He comes over. He cleans me up. He cleans after me when I vomit. He helps me when I cannot walk to the loo, and he feeds him. He literally nurses me back to health. He has done it more times than I can count. No one has ever shown me love the way he has. He buys me gifts. We talk regularly. I trusted him with all of me. And right now, yes, that trust is broken. But you yourself, just check the situation.

Sometimes I think about forgiving him and pretending it never happened. But the most annoying part is how sure he is about her. It does not look like he is changing his mind anytime soon.

I want to leave him. I want to pack my bags and go, for my own peace, my own sanity. I cannot keep a man who clearly belongs to another woman.

I do not know her, but she is clearly a lucky woman. I hope that one day she realises it.

I wish I could change his mind and have him stay with me. I wish that on our wedding day we could tell the story of how we conquered JHS and SHS rumours and even university. But here we are.

Please do not be too hard on me. I do not know whether I should leave or stay. After all, I have been in the background for many years now. Maybe I can still stay there.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

Or what do you think?

—Claire

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", "keywords": ", Didn’t, Propose, After, Years, Together, And, Just, Found, Out, Why", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/close-up-portrait-attractive-good-looking-young-africa-female-with-curly-haircut-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-didnt-propose-after-10-years-together-and-i-just-found-out-why/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-02 04:22:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "164728", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Whoever Said I Should Fall in Love in University Owes Me an Apology.", "title_slug": "whoever-said-i-should-fall-in-love-in-university-owes-me-an-apology", "title_hash": "b8605ae75dbffc6e7f7305405cc5f29f", "summary": "I was in my first year at KNUST when I met him. He was also a student at the University of Ghana, two years ahead of me, but it didn’t …", "content": "

I was in my first year at KNUST when I met him. He was also a student at the University of Ghana, two years ahead of me, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t know much about love, but I knew that I could trust him with all of my heart and still not get scared. I knew that when it came to Jordan, it didn’t matter what people said about inter-tertiary couples, that they never last. Jordan was sure, even when I was not. He was certain on our behalf, and that made a whole lot of difference.

By level 200, I was certain I was going to marry Jordan the way NPP was certain they were going to win the 2024 general elections, because a man as generous as Jordan I was not going to let slip through my fingers. He matched my energy and my sense of humour and understood me so well.

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He was living at home at the time because of UG, then he moved to campus to perch with a friend until he completed it. We thought about it carefully – the circumstances, the problems, the pros and cons – and decided it was for the best, especially because of the academic pressure. You know how tertiary is.

Then Legon girls happened. I say Legon girls happened because history has it recorded.

When we started, we were on fire, but we burned so intensely that we burned our hearts to ashes. It got to a point where things turned cold. My baby stopped texting me like he used to.

He started calling me a talker, and when I complained, he shut me up. “You don’t understand, abi KNUST diɛ it is child’s play,” before I could open my mouth to speak again, he added ” Small girl and you like talking too much, ei” and he hung up on me. All this just a month after he moved to stay on campus.

In the days after, he begged me. He said that everything that happened was because he was under pressure to submit a paper, and that was why he was frustrated.

One thing about him was that he made sure we were one of those couples who prayed together, because that’s what the Bible said, or am I lying? Every Thursday, we fasted. Every day like clockwork, and it was such a big deal for both of us. He fastened my belt as a Christian, preached to me about faith, love, and God. Even my roommates, who were used to us praying on the phone together, teased us.

Then all of a sudden, he forgot we had a fast. My prayers were too long. He had no time for simple devotions anymore and suggested I send them as a text, and even when I did, he wouldn’t read it.

We got to the point where Legon girls and their shenanigans had taken his soul, his mind, his thoughts until I didn’t matter anymore. After all, he had seen me finish. I had bared my heart to him so completely that there was nothing left to search for, not like in a Legon girl.

The breakup came from me. We broke up the first time, I went back to beg, but he didn’t change, so I called it quits. Our entire romantic relationship lasted only five months. He decided we should be friends, I obliged, the whole friendship situation became awkward, we fought, and then I had to block him to maintain my peace.

My experience with a Legon boy taught me a lot of lessons. I believe there shouldn’t be any sort of inter-tertiary relationships at all. Call me whatever you like, but those boys on that campus will break your heart, and those girls, those Legon girls. Ayoo.

I am now in my final year. The academic semester just started, and I do miss having a lover. Just a sweetheart, you know. Someone to do things with, talk with, laugh with, and also cuddle with, or cry in their arms when I become academically stressed.

I know some people might say I need to focus on my books, which is spot-on. Some might also say I should go talk to my friends or make new ones, and I understand that too. I do have friends, but there are certain things you simply cannot do with friends the way you would with a lover. I don’t know if you understand me. It’s all good.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

I’d like to ask, would this feeling of wanting a lover ever subside? And I hope that when love comes my way again, his demeanor doesn’t change towards me, and the relationship lasts.

—Candy

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", "keywords": "Whoever, Said, Should, Fall, Love, University, Owes, Apology.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/whatsapp-image-2025-11-20-at-11.15.08.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/whoever-said-i-should-fall-in-love-in-university-owes-me-an-apology/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-02 04:22:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "164727", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Parents Wants Me To Marry A Stranger For Marrying Sake", "title_slug": "my-parents-wants-me-to-marry-a-stranger-for-marrying-sake", "title_hash": "e244b1ea8e1ff5a130fb14d38b10c3bf", "summary": "In December, my parents introduced me to a man they think is good for me. I’m thirty-three and don’t even have a boyfriend, but I’m not desperate. It’s my parents …", "content": "

In December, my parents introduced me to a man they think is good for me. I’m thirty-three and don’t even have a boyfriend, but I’m not desperate. It’s my parents who are desperate for me to get married, and somehow I understand them. I didn’t argue with them when they asked me to come and meet a man.

I met him, and he was a nice gentleman. He came from abroad for the December holidays and wanted to use the opportunity to meet a woman he could marry. After the introduction, we started talking. He always wanted me to come to his house and visit him, though I hadn’t accepted his proposal. I told him, “I want to build things slowly.” He doesn’t understand why I want to build slowly when my parents had told me everything.

I didn’t like his rush, but there’s more I didn’t like about him—his level of education. He didn’t even complete SHS when he got the connection to travel abroad. I asked about the job he does abroad, and he couldn’t mention anything specific. He said, “I have a house and my own cars. That should tell you I’m doing well abroad.”

Those things are not my fancy. I have a car too, but I don’t have a house. I’m well educated. Next year, I will be going back to school to do my PhD. I want a man up there who will complement or shadow my dreams, not just a man who thinks houses and cars are everything.

We are not dating, but before he left the country, we fought four times. When he was going, he didn’t even tell me. He got there and sent me a photo telling me he had reached the airport. Today, he’s telling me if I understand him, he’ll take me abroad and make my life better with children. He’s in Romania. I have traveled to the US, Canada, and Australia, and I’m going to the UK in a month’s time. His “abroad” doesn’t make any difference.

I want to like him. I want to have a reason to study him, but this man is so hollow he won’t give me a stepping chance. But my parents are on me every day, asking me to give him a chance. It worries me that my parents are worried about me. It hurts me for them to think that I’m the one making it harder for the man abroad. They tell me, “You’re a woman. If you keep picking and choosing, you may go empty-handed,” but that also doesn’t mean I should settle for less.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

The way things are going, we are not getting anywhere. But I’m talking to him just to please my parents. It’s hard to love your parents to the extent of wanting to do everything for them, but this one, I can’t. I wish they would understand me, but how…?

", "keywords": ", Parents, Wants, Marry, Stranger, For, Marrying, Sake", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/freepik__adjust__53076.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-parents-wants-me-to-marry-a-stranger-for-marrying-sake/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-02 04:22:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "164726", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mom Drove Her Boyfriend Out Of The House But She Didn’t Know The Secret", "title_slug": "my-mom-drove-her-boyfriend-out-of-the-house-but-she-didnt-know-the-secret", "title_hash": "fd3f92fd79179c1acae5fa805a8da50a", "summary": "My mom had my elder sister when she was only eighteen years old. She hasn’t told us what happened, but from what we heard from those who knew, my mom …", "content": "

My mom had my elder sister when she was only eighteen years old. She hasn’t told us what happened, but from what we heard from those who knew, my mom was raped. My grandparents, instead of seeking justice, went for the money and left the man alone to flee. A few weeks later, my mom found herself pregnant, and the child that came out was my sister.

My mom pushed every man away when she was at the ripe age for marriage. She was still hurt and didn’t want a man next to her. My sister was eight years old when I was born. My father is there, but my mom didn’t marry him. I don’t know much about their story. My dad took care of me, sent money for my fees, and sometimes came for me to live with him and his wife.

I was fifteen years old when my mom found herself another man called Dawson. I don’t know where my mom picked him from, but he came to live in our house right from the start. He was trying to be a father to us, so he bought us gifts and took us out. I loved the attention he doled out on me, but my elder sister wasn’t that enthused. She told me often that she only tolerated him.

One evening, I was home alone with him when he entered my room. He came with a dress and new shoes for school. He asked me to try them on. I thought he would go outside so I could put the dress on, but he didn’t, so I wore the dress over the dress I was already wearing. He said, “What are you shy of? I’m your dad. Take it off and put the new one on.”

While my arms were up and taking my dress over my head, he touched my budding breasts and called them beautiful. For some reason unknown to me, I didn’t feel bad about it. I knew he loved me as a daughter, not knowing his intentions were not pure. From that day, he did everything to be alone with me whenever he was in town. He would take me and my elder sister to town, and all through, his attention would be on me.

He entered the bathroom once while I was bathing. He stood there and watched me. He asked if he could join me, and at that very moment, my body started to shiver. My mind hadn’t yet registered the danger, but my body had picked up on it. I said no. I asked him to leave because I was shy. I folded myself into my own arms. He stood there and watched.

I don’t know what happened, but one evening, I went into my room and saw my mom questioning my elder sister if Dawson had made any move on her. My sister said no. Mom insisted that she should tell her the truth, but my sister kept shaking her head. My mom told her, “If he does it at any point in time, tell me.”

Then she stormed out. My sister cried, and I stood there watching her cry but couldn’t say anything to her. Dawson had visited and left. After that conversation, it took months before we saw him in the house again. He came with gifts for us. My mom was there when he gave each of us our gifts. She left with him into her room.

One Saturday, when my mom left for the shop and my elder sister was out to play, he tried getting closer to me with motives, but my sister came back with her friend to diffuse the situation. At this time, I was scared to be alone with him but couldn’t tell anyone.

I was out playing when I saw my mom coming home from the shop. She asked me, “Where’s your sister?” I answered, “She’s in the house.” She screamed at me, “So why are you here when she’s in the house?”

My mom walked briskly, almost running to the house. I followed her. Dawson was watching TV. My mom didn’t even greet him; she went quickly into our room to see my elder sister sleeping. Her dress was off her body a little, so you could see her panties.

My mom woke her up and asked me to leave. She was with her for several minutes. When my mom came out, she went inside with Dawson, and we could hear them arguing very loudly. My sister started crying. She said, “He didn’t do anything to me. Why is mom doing this?”

That very evening, Dawson picked up his bag and left the house. That was the very last time we saw him. My mom suspected he was doing something with my elder sister. She didn’t have any evidence, only suspicion. It could have come from intuition or from her experience. She drove her man out of the house because she suspected the man had something to do with my sister, but the truth is, I was the one the man was chasing around.

I saw my sister defending herself, swearing by heaven and earth that nothing was going on. Even after Dawson had left, my mom still had suspicions. She didn’t hate my sister because of that. If anything, she drew her closer, going everywhere with her and telling her not to go after men. She thought I was too young to attract her man, but I was the one. I couldn’t say it until we grew up.

I confessed to my sister. She screamed, “Wow, so mom was right after all. Why didn’t you tell her when you knew she was accusing me wrongly?” I couldn’t answer that. She asked me if we should tell my mom about it, and I said no. But she told her anyway. My mom cried. She said, “All my life I thought I had driven a good man away because of my own insecurity. It haunted me often. I even wanted to go and apologize to him. So I was right.”

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

She didn’t ask me why, and she didn’t ask me how. She didn’t ask what happened and what didn’t happen. She was content to know that she drove him away before he could carry out his devilish intentions. Sometimes it haunts me too, for not saying it early, but I was only a child—a scared child, for that matter. I’m glad that it ended how it did, and mom could also know the truth eventually, and the truth would set her free.

—Frema

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******

", "keywords": ", Mom, Drove, Her, Boyfriend, Out, The, House, But, She, Didn’t, Know, The, Secret", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/freepik__expand__76594.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-mom-drove-her-boyfriend-out-of-the-house-but-she-didnt-know-the-secret/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-03-02 04:22:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "164456", "lang_id": "1", "title": "This Pill Treats Postpartum Depression. So Why Don’t More People Take It?", "title_slug": "this-pill-treats-postpartum-depression-so-why-dont-more-people-take-it", "title_hash": "fbda22abfa61e87f3928b89e121bd40f", "summary": "Some 500,000 new parents are diagnosed with PPD each year. Far fewer take Zurzurvae, the first pill specifically designed to treat the condition, three years after its approval.\nThe post This Pill Treats Postpartum Depression. So Why Don’t More People Take It? appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Amanda was no stranger to depressive moods. But after giving birth to her second child in four years, she felt worse than she’d ever felt in her life.

The pharmacist and mother of two from South Carolina, whose last name has been withheld to protect her privacy, had dealt with anxiety and depression on and off throughout adulthood. Amanda could usually manage her symptoms with an SSRI, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, the most prescribed type of antidepressant medication.

That worked even after the traumatizing birth of her first child. She had an unplanned cesarean section following a lengthy, painful, and unintentionally unmedicated labor. The way she felt after giving birth for a second time, however, was “unlike anything I’ve ever known,” Amanda told Rewire News Group.

The birth itself went smoothly. But afterward, Amanda said, she felt no joy whatsoever and sobbed constantly. She didn’t want to kiss her child or say his name out loud. She would go an entire day without eating, even though her postpartum body had higher nutritional needs than normal.

Alarmed, Amanda brought up her symptoms at her six-week check-up with her OB-GYN. She was prescribed Zoloft, an SSRI that had previously worked for her. This time, it didn’t. After a few more SSRI trials and meetings with different OB-GYN providers, she recalled being told, “I don’t know what else to do for you.”

But there is, in fact, a pill specifically designed to treat postpartum depression. Why didn’t anyone tell Amanda about it?

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression (PPD) affects at least 1 in 8 people nationwide. The brain and body undergo numerous changes after birth that can affect mental health.

One change is hormonal. Estrogen and progesterone plummet after pregnancy.

“Certain women have abnormal mood responses to changing levels of hormones,” psychiatrist Katie Unverferth, Medical Director of the UCLA Maternal Mental Health Program, told RNG in an email. “The large drop in estrogen and progesterone in the postpartum is such a time, and can trigger baby blues or the more severe postpartum depression.”

At the same time, other chemicals in the brain called neurosteroids are rapidly shifting in the postpartum period. These naturally occurring substances act on GABA receptors, which help the brain calm anxiety and help regulate mood. The key neurosteroid during pregnancy is “a very calming neurosteroid” called allopregnanolone, Dr. Sarah Oreck, reproductive psychiatrist and CEO of Mavida Health, told RNG via email.

“Allopregnanolone levels rise dramatically during pregnancy and then drop precipitously after delivery,” Oreck said. “This sudden decline is thought to be one mechanism underlying postpartum depression in vulnerable individuals.”

“PPD tends to be a very anxious depression,” added Unverferth.

People often feel sad and irritable, and experience obsessive thinking—especially disturbing thoughts around accidental harm happening to the infant, she added. A sense of overwhelm tends to be in the PPD mix, too.

Public awareness of PPD got a boost last year with the film Die My Love. The movie, released in November 2025, stars Jennifer Lawrence as a young mother with severe postpartum depression and psychosis. During the press tour for the film, Lawrence spoke openly about her own experience with postpartum anxiety after the birth of her second child. She described a disconnect and guilt around feeling like not being a good mother to her infant son.

“There’s not really anything like postpartum,” she told Variety. “It’s extremely isolating.”

Long road to PPD treatment

Until 2019, there were no confirmed FDA approved treatments for PPD beyond SSRIs, which won’t work for everyone and can take weeks to kick in if they do.

Then, in 2019, came brexanolone, the first-ever treatment approved by the FDA specifically for postpartum depression. While clinical trials suggested that the drug, marketed under the drug name Zulresso, could improve depression symptoms, logistical challenges dramatically limited its use.

Without insurance coverage, brexanolone was estimated to cost $34,000. It also needed to be administered via a 60-hour IV infusion in a hospital—a very long time for a new parent to be separated from their newborn and family.

In August 2023, the FDA approved zuranolone, prescribed under the brand name Zurzuvae, and the manufacturer discontinued brexanolone in 2025.

With her pharmaceutical background, Amanda had actually heard of zuranolone. She used her expertise to research the drug and couldn’t find much information online from other moms who had taken the treatment, even after posting in a social media group of 40,000 moms who are pharmacists.

“I got crickets. Nothing, not a single response,” Amanda said. “No one could give me any insight on what to do, how to obtain it, what it was like, side effects, no one.”

She convinced her psychiatrist to prescribe it anyway.

How zuranolone soothes the postpartum brain

Zuranolone is a synthetic version of allopregnanolone, the neurosteroid that declines post-pregnancy. Typically taken once daily for 14 days, psychiatrists believe that it likely works fast in the brain to restore levels of this mood-regulating neurosteroid, potentially within days.

This allows the nervous system to calm and emotions to stabilize, Oreck explained.

In a manufacturer-funded clinical trial for zuranolone, patients who were given the drug compared to the placebo had lower measures of clinical depression scores. Some saw mood improvement within three days.

Within the first week of taking zuranolone, Amanda said she felt a “hormonal reset.”

“It was like day one of giving birth started that day. I became a mother to my son that day. Because before that, I was not a mother. … I did nothing but keep this child alive for the first three months of his life. But once I took that medicine, it was like, reset,” said Amanda. “Okay, now we can restart our bonding.”

By day around three, her appetite returned. She doesn’t remember the first food she actually enjoyed—it was probably chicken nuggets or the Costco hotdogs that she was also feeding her toddler—but at some point, eating felt normal again.

Appetite loss was also what tipped off Karlee, a mother in Arkansas, that she might have PPD. Karlee spoke with RNG using her first name only to protect her daughter’s privacy.

Karlee had a history of anxiety symptoms that she had managed with prescription medication since adolescence. But when she brought her infant daughter home from the hospital in July 2024, her persistent anxiety became untenable.

“The very first night, I was terrified that she was going to stop breathing in the middle of the night … so I was like, someone has to stay up and stare at her,” Karlee told RNG.

“The anxiety and depression are so overwhelming,” she wrote on July 24, 2024, in a journal she kept to document her postpartum journey, recalling her third day home as “the most scared of my mental health I have ever been in my life.”

This anxiety and panic continued for more than a month. By that point, Karlee became used to her “meltdowns,” as she described them to RNG in an email. Exhaustion seeped into her bones; her milk supply was low. Breastfeeding parents may need to consume 500 additional calories per day, but Karlee said she was not taking in enough food.

Unlike Amanda, Karlee didn’t have to work to discover Zurzuvae; her psychiatrist recommended it immediately. She saw Karlee’s face in a telehealth call and knew something wasn’t right.

Karlee started the treatment about five-and-a-half weeks postpartum. It wasn’t an immediate “magic turning point,” Karlee said. But, slowly, by late summer, she felt herself climbing back to her baseline.

“I still have my moments, but they are manageable,” she remarked in her postpartum journal.

Zurzuvae is not currently FDA-approved to treat other mental health conditions of pregnancy, including postpartum psychosis and postpartum anxiety. Still, given that mental health conditions are a leading cause of death in postpartum and pregnant people in the U.S., the doctors RNG interviewed were willing to take a chance on the drug.

Oreck said she has prescribed the medication for patients with postpartum anxiety symptoms.

“I’m careful to counsel patients that this is an off-label use,” she said. “The medication hasn’t been specifically studied for anxiety in clinical trials, so we don’t have the same robust evidence base as we do for PPD.”

Challenges to widespread adoption

Some 500,000 people in the U.S. are diagnosed with PPD each year. Zurzuvae’s original manufacturer, Sage Therapeutics (later acquired by Supernus Pharmaceuticals), reported that 2,000 Zurzuvae prescriptions were shipped out in the last quarter of 2024, according to a 2025 Psychiatry Online article—up 40 percent from the second quarter of that year.

Those figures still fall well short of the potential market for this drug. If the treatment works, why do so few people use it?

Providers appear to be one part of the story. Initially, some insurance companies required zuranolone be prescribed by a psychiatrist, which experts said dramatically limited access to the drug. In practice, OB-GYNs are the most likely prescribers of any postpartum medication, since they are generally the only providers doing a dedicated postpartum mental health screening—at least for new parents who don’t have an existing psychiatric provider.

Even when an insurance company covers a zuranolone prescription from an OB-GYN, providers’ ability to gauge how someone is faring postpartum based on a series of routine questions is limited. That’s especially true if the doctor-patient relationship is new or if the patient isn’t open about or aware of their mental health challenges.

Karlee felt somewhat uncomfortable discussing her mental health in the sterile environment of her OB-GYN’s office. As a result, at a follow-up appointment two weeks after giving birth, she scored within the normal range on the postpartum mental health screening—even though she was in the throes of postpartum depression.

Unverferth also believes that many providers lack training and education around the medication.

“It is a very new medication that has a very unique way of dosing it,” she said, adding that some mental health providers may not be comfortable prescribing a 14-day dose of a calming, sedating medication.

Other providers—and some patients—could also be leery of Zurzurvae’s sedative nature. After taking a dose, patients cannot drive for 12 hours and may be too sleepy to properly care for an infant overnight. Breastfeeding is not advised during the 14-day treatment course.

These side effects didn’t bother Amanda. She had a supportive partner to pitch in if needed on night feedings, and she woke up nightly at 3 a.m. to feed her son. But she spoke with other moms who’d taken Zurzuvae and said they were too “zonked out” to fully function at night.

Yet as with so many health-care challenges in the United States, the main problem may be insurance, according to a 2025 article in Psychiatry Online about barriers to accessing this “innovative oral pharmacological treatment for postpartum depression.”

Without coverage, Zurzurvae costs about $15,000 for the two-week course.

The Policy Center for Maternal Mental Health reports that insured patients whose plans don’t automatically cover the medication won’t necessarily be shut out from the drug entirely. But they could be required to try other less-expensive treatments first, like SSRIs, delaying their recovery.

Zurzuvae also has a copay assistance program that can help ease the out-of-pocket costs. But it only applies to people who have commercial insurance. That won’t help uninsured PPD sufferers.

Amanda and Karlee understand these barriers, and they’re working to help more people with PPD get treatment. Amanda posts online about her experience with Zurzurvae and invites people to reach out to her with questions. So far, she’s walked two moms through the process of getting prior approval and copay assistance.

Karlee speaks out about zuranolone to any moms who will listen, she said. If doctors aren’t necessarily talking up the drug yet, it falls on patients to educate each other.

“I really wanted to put it out there that women need to trust themselves,” she said.

Editor’s note (Feb. 25, 2026): The dek, or teaser, of this article has been corrected to reflect that Zurzurvae is the first oral pill to be approved for postpartum depression, not the first medication. The first medication was Zulresso.

The post This Pill Treats Postpartum Depression. So Why Don’t More People Take It? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In part two of her series on true crime and disability, Imani Gandy interviews Dateline correspondent Josh Mankiewicz about true crime as a machine that decides whose stories get told—and whose don’t. From missing Black women, to missing and murdered Indigenous people, to the near invisibility of disabled victims, they talk about what true crime shows—and what it leaves out.

Because attention itself is a form of power.

(And yes, there’s a Bill Hader moment.)

Episodes like this take time, research, and a commitment to the truth. If you love B*tch, Listen, chip in to keep help Imani keep her podcast going. Become a supporter today.

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first.

The post ‘Dateline’s’ Josh Mankiewicz Takes You Inside the True Crime Machine (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The release of the Epstein files continues to dominate headlines for what is and isn’t included.

On Feb. 25, 2026, almost a month after the Jan. 30, 2026, document dump by the Department of Justice, both the New York Times and NPR reported on missing memos related to President Donald Trump’s relationship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

Earlier in February, members of the Congress were given access to unredacted versions of these documents. Rep. Cynthia Lummis, a Republican from Wyoming, had this to say when she emerged from the viewing room: “I’ve not been one of the members who has glommed on to this as an issue. … But 9-year-old victims … wow.”

“Well, initially, my reaction to all this was, ‘I don’t care. I don’t know what the big deal is,” she added. “But now I see what the big deal is, and it was worth investigating.”

Whether she meant to do this or not, Lummis’ comments suggested that an alleged global sex trafficking ring involving some of the world’s most powerful people—including, possibly, the president of the United States and several of his high-ranking officials, though they deny all allegations—was not such a big deal when she thought the survivors were teens and young adults.

This sentiment echoes something former Fox News host Megyn Kelly said about the survivors’ ages when a previous round of Epstein files was released in November 2025. On her podcast, Kelly expressed sympathy for the idea that Epstein was not really a pedophile because he was into 15-year-olds—not 8-year-olds. He didn’t like children, Kelly explained, so much as he liked them “barely legal.”

But “barely legal” isn’t a thing (I’ll get to that in a minute), and randomly nuancing the definition of pedophilia shouldn’t be either.

Age isn’t just a number

Let’s start by getting our terms straight: Pedophiles are people who have a sexual preference for children, usually prepubescent children or those who are around the age of puberty. Pedophilia is a psychiatric diagnosis. You can be a pedophile without sexually abusing children, and you can be a child abuser without meeting the diagnostic definition of a pedophile.

The word pedophile instantly conjures up abuse of small children, which makes our hearts break and our skin crawl. This visceral reaction is understandable, and it may explain why Lummis, Kelly, and other public figures have insisted on drawing a distinction between the abuse of young children and the rape of teenagers.

To be clear, the law does not distinguish between a 9-year-old and a 15-year-old—both minors—when it comes to sex. While age of consent laws vary by state, all states see 15 as too young to consent. With the possible rare exception of consenting couples who are close in age (for example, the 18-year-old high school senior dating a 15-year-old sophomore), any adult who has sex with someone 15 or younger has committed a crime.

In some cases that crime is statuatory rape. In others it might be rape or sexual assault. And in some states, teens having sex with teens is illegal, too.

As I said, there’s only legal and illegal—not “barely legal.”

When consent isn’t possible

I believe that teens should be experimenting with sex. I’ve spent much of my career as a sex educator arguing that sexual development and experimentation are natural parts of adolescence that help young people understand themselves and develop the relationship skills they’ll need as adults. Grown-ups should see high school students as capable of having consensual sexual relationships with each other.

But relationships can only be consensual if the couple is on equal footing. When one holds too much control because of their age, status, or position of authority over the other (think coach, teacher, or boss), true consent is rarely possible. Age is not the only power imbalance, but it seems obvious that a 51-year-old man looking for sex from a 14-year-old is a predator—not a partner.

The late financier Epstein has been accused of sexually abusing at least 1,000 young women and children. He had a pattern of offering teenage girls as young as 14 money for massages, during which he would masturbate and touch their genitals with his fingers or sex toys. He would offer these children more money if they would recruit other girls for the same thing.

Epstien has also been accused of forcibly raping girls as young as 14. (Epstein pled guilty to soliciting a minor for sex in Florida in 2008 and was indicted on sex trafficking charges in 2019, but died in jail before a trial could take place.)

Survivors have also said they were abused, assaulted, or raped by friends and acquaintances of Epstein; President Trump has been named in these allegations. The accusations against Trump have not been investigated or verified, but he has previously been found civilly liable for sexual abuse.

Let’s stop saying ‘underage women’

Questioning whether Epstein or others among his we-just-like-them-young buddies were “really pedophiles” as Megyn Kelly did is a twisted game of splitting hairs.

It opens the door for letting some perpetrators of sexual abuse off the hook by implying thatthe pedophile who goes after young children is a pervert, while the CEO who preys on teenagers is just misbehaving. It’s bad but not that bad.

I have to wonder whether this is what some of the men involved in Epstein’s sex ring have told themselves as well. When Trump embraced the QAnon conspiracy theory that there was a secret cabal of powerful pedophiles abusing children and made exposing it part of his 2024 campaign strategy, did he not remember partying with Epstein? Or did he think his name wouldn’t come up because he didn’t consider himself a pedophile?

For some people—and I’m betting that Trump, Lummis, and Kelly fall into this group–the distinction between an 8-year old and a 15-year-old likely seems important because 15-year-old girls can be sexual. Most have breasts and curves and pubic hair. They may wear make-up and short skirts. They probably think about boys or girls or both. They might read spicy books and have sexual fantasies.

Some 15-year-olds even have sex: In 2023, 16 percent of ninth graders and 25 percent of 10th graders reported they had had sexual intercourse. This is likely why we’ve seen so many people—including some legitimate news sources, like NPR—refer to the young girls as “underage women.” Again, that’s not a thing. Even in high heels and mascara, being “underage” means that you’re a child.

And children are children—not women. Suggesting otherwise could lead to blaming girls for wearing the wrong clothes, making bad choices, leading men on, or any number of other things that we tend to put on rape survivors after the fact.

It’s about power

We should stop talking about the age of Epstein’s victims and start talking about their sexual agency—that is, their ability to make conscious, informed, and empowered decisions. Agency is about having a voice and being able to negotiate what you want.

It seems clear to me that the men of this decades-long sex-ring were looking for those who had no agency. The girls and women were reportedly lied to, coerced, threatened, and possibly held against their will. The men didn’t want sexual partners; they wanted control.

None of this is meant to downplay the horror of 9-year-olds being trafficked. If anything, I want to up-play (I know that’s not a word, but I need it to be) the horror of 19-year-olds being trafficked, too. Even though the law may see them as adults, these young women were not empowered to make their own decisions about how they were treated or what they would and wouldn’t do.

The emerging revelations that young children suffered in Epstein’s crimes may make some people, like Lummis, start paying attention, and it may make others, like Kelly, shut up. My hope, though, is that we can stop debating whether the men were pedophiles and start focusing on the survivors.

We can give the survivors back some agency by listening to their stories and believing them—no matter how old they were at the time of their abuse.

The post Epstein Files Debate Gets Pedophilia and Power Wrong appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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A Feb. 7 protest at the Whipple Federal Building in Minneapolis became decidedly phallic when hundreds of protestors chucked purple and pink dildos at vehicles driving out of the gates of the facility that houses Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s (ICE) office.

“Fuck you” chants resounded as the dildos bounced off a sheriff’s SUV. Police scrambled to gather the dildos and toss them over a fence, away from the protestors screaming “eat a dick.”

Since early January, near daily protests in Minneapolis have demanded an end to the federal occupation of the city, where 3,000 immigration agents were deployed until a drawdown in late February. The protestors have been largely non-violent. The ICE agents have not, leading to the killings of two local residents, Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti.

This particular anti-ICE protest employed an unlikely projectile: the humble rubber shaft.

Operation Dildo Blitz

The Minneapolis dildo protest was the brainchild of Rook T. Winchester, a pseudonym for a man who declined to use his legal name for safety reasons.

Much like Portland’s inflatable “protest frogs” and Chicago’s speedo-clad demonstrator, the point of “Operation Dildo Blitz” is what’s known as tactical frivolity—that is, a funny form of protest meant to expose as absurd the government’s claims that protesters are dangerous or violent.

Protesting absurdly, Winchester believes, also irks the immigration agents in a particular way. Mockery, he told Rewire News Group, is “kryptonite for these fascists.”

He got the idea after meeting a young woman during a prayer vigil outside the Florida ICE detention facility known as “Alligator Alcatraz.” After her father was arrested by ICE and transported to that facility, she moved in with a conservative aunt who supports President Donald Trump.

The aunt later kicked her out for being outspoken about her political beliefs, Winchester recalled. In response, the woman “put a suction cup dildo on her aunt’s door as a message for her to … go fuck herself,” Winchester said. He decided dildos could send a similar signal in Minneapolis.

One of the anti-ICE protestors, Russell “Jolly” Ellis, nicknamed the action “Operation Dildo Blitz” in a nod to Operation Midway Blitz, the Trump administration’s aggressive September 2025 immigration enforcement operation in Chicago.

This is not the first time sex toys have been used as a political message.

A 1768 Japanese parody of a samurai etiquette book for women replaced pictures of origami gift wrap with dildos. The authors of the 2013 book Shunga: Sex and Pleasure in Japanese Art took that insertion to be a rebuke of the samurais’ pretensions.

In 2015, an artist inserted dildos in place of guns in Republican leadership’s photos in a bid for more gun control. And in 2016, students at the University of Texas staged a “Cocks Not Glocks” action, where they toted dildos around to protest a concealed carry law.

Five days after “Operation Dildo Blitz,” Border Czar Tom Homan announced that the Minneapolis “surge operation” concluded. As of Feb. 25, roughly 500 agents remained.

Joy is resistance

Winchester knew that Minneapolis-based sex toy store Smitten Kitten had transformed into a donation center that provides supplies to people affected by the ICE operation. So, he called the store to see if they had any dildos they could donate for a protest at the Graduate Hotel in Minneapolis in late January.

“Fuck ICE, how can I help you?” the Smitten Kitten clerk answered.

“We’re going to protest ICE. We’d like to bring some dildos with us. … Can we stop in and get some?” Winchester asked.

The store was game. Winchester and his friend swung by Smitten Kitten and left with dozens of discounted dildos. They then took a Lyft to the Graduate Hotel.

They arrived to a “couple hundred” protesters making noise and hoisting signs. Winchester and his friend distributed the dildos throughout the crowd.

“What people do with these dildos after we hand them out is on them,” Winchester said, recalling that protesters “juggle them, they attach them to their helmets, they wave them.”

The mood shifted from intense chanting and noisemaking to a lighter atmosphere—until a protester tossed a dildo at the feet of an ICE agent. It didn’t touch the agent, according to Winchester.

He claimed that, “No one was hurt, other than their egos.”

Nonetheless, Winchester said, he believes the agent retaliated by spraying pepper balls.

“I didn’t see the pepper ball get shot, but I certainly breathed it in,” Winchester said.

Natalie Johnson, CEO of Minneapolis-based sex toy manufacturer Like a Kitten, saw a video of the protester being pepper sprayed on social media. She said the violence shows “how much lack of control there is over these federal agents.”

“It’s that whole culture of fragile masculinity, and nothing puts a point on that as much as just throwing a dick at their feet,” Johnson added.

Dildos made another appearance at an anti-ICE protest about a week later outside the Whipple Federal Building. And this time, there were a lot more of them.

Johnson got connected to Winchester and asked if protest attendees would need more dildos. He said they did. She offered to donate 500 dildos. She purchased them for about $2 a piece from a local bank that was liquidating excess inventory from a recently shuttered Minneapolis adult store.

Winchester drove to Johnson’s warehouse and filled up his Subaru Crosstrek’s backseat and hatchback with boxes of eight-inch dildos, in colors ranging from clear to Day-Glo pink to purple. This time, he and a friend drove to the Whipple Federal Building in Minneapolis, wheeled the dildos out in a wagon. They passed them out to the crowd of protesters that the dildo distributors estimated to be in the hundreds.

Ellis arrived at the protest around 11:15 a.m. He was covering it for his Instagram and working as a “designated dildo retriever.” After protestors threw the dildos over the fence in front of the Whipple Building, he would gather them before police did.

“There’s this ridiculous juxtaposition of these agents that are armed to the teeth with masks on, and bulletproof vests, and AR-15s, and we were literally armed with rubber dicks,” Ellis told RNG.

Ellis said the protest felt different than the others he’d attended at Whipple.

“There was joy because people felt like they could express some of that righteous anger,” Ellis said. “Joy is resistance. Fascism wants you to be bitter and miserable and angry and wants you to just give up.”

After about nine cars had been pelted with dildos, Ellis said he was “certain” he’d be arrested, even though he wasn’t throwing any dildos. He’d previously seen protestors being arrested outside of Whipple for throwing bologna and snowballs.

“Then it occurred to me exactly why they’re not arresting nobody, because then they have to have an arrest report that says ‘arrested for throwing dildos,’ ” Ellis hypothesized.

Winchester and Ellis both left as tensions rose.

“When [the dildos] all started getting lobbed over the fence, and I heard a car get hit, then I was like, all right, well, I guess the distribution is done, because I’m not there to hurt anyone,” Winchester said. “We’re nonviolent.”

Eventually, at least 42 people were arrested at the Whipple protest for failure to disperse. The Hennepin County Sheriff reported that chunks of ice were thrown and that an officer was hit in the head. Winchester disputes that account.

When Johnson watched videos of the protests, she saw some commenters saying that the protest showed “how crazy and unhinged everyone on the left is.” But she thinks it’s absurd to be more upset about throwing dildos than about taking children from their parents and killing civilians.

“Why are you having this reaction to a dildo when you are not having this kind of reaction to human life?” Johnson asked.

The supply is cut off

When protestors from across the country contact Johnson to ask if she can supply sex toys, she suggests they go to their local sex toy store. Johnson’s dildo supply line has ended.

Recently, when she called her bank contact to purchase more of the liquidated supply, the man said he’d been informed that the bank could no longer sell dildos. He said management had expressed concern that its customers would be upset about their bank selling sex toys.

Johnson believes the decision was political—that the bank cut her off because the dildos were used to protest ICE. (The bank in question declined to comment on this matter.)

Though her supply in Minneapolis has been cut off, the anti-ICE dildo movement has spread nationwide, most recently at a State of the Swamp protest in Washington, D.C., on Feb. 24. Winchester brought a suitcase of dildos to distribute to protestors. The Portland protest frog also joined the demonstration in the capital.

“It’s in line with the spirit of the Merry Pranksters or Abbie Hoffman,” Winchester said, referring to some notoriously mischievous activists from U.S. history.

ICE defenders “want to have this narrative that we’re all a blood thirsty, violent mob. But once you stick dildos in our hands and we embrace that absurdity, it becomes harder for them to fight.”

The post How Minneapolis Fought ICE With Dildos appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Washington, D.C.

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During her Wednesday confirmation hearing, surgeon general nominee Casey Means claimed a “huge amount” of hormonal contraceptives have been prescribed without patients giving “informed consent.” Her statement contradicts federal medical guidelines. Means, who holds a medical degree but does not have a medical license, previously called birth control a “disrespect of life” and overstated hormonal contraception risks. When pushed, she said oral birth control should remain available to patients.

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Nashville

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Vanderbilt University Medical Center announced this week that it will no longer provide gender-affirming surgery to trans adults. In a statement to the Vanderbilt Hustler, VUMC blamed the change on “operational limitations” and said it will still provide non-surgical gender-affirming care to adults. NYU Langone Health and Mount Sinai Health System in New York City recently stopped offering gender-affirming care to minors. Vanderbilt’s refusal to serve trans adults comes amid a growing federal battle against trans health care.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Menlo Park, California

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Meta’s AI chatbots are trained to avoid discussing abortion and sexual health with users under 18, Mother Jones reported this week. Leaked documents show that Meta bans Facebook and WhatsApp AI from providing information “that helps a user obtain or carry out an abortion.” These AI also can’t offer advice to teens on the “physiology of reproductive organs,” puberty, menstruation, STI prevention, or contraception. Critics said the policies promote “censorship.” Meta said “age-appropriate” conversation is its goal.

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The post Surgeon General Nominee Flip-Flops on Birth Control appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"absolute$ Why do guys with general abundance struggle to reach absolute abundance? And does a high body count impair men’s ability to pair bond?

Commenting on my article about how to reach absolute abundance, Apex says

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Male, Body, Count, Pair, Bonding, and, Absolute, Abundance", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/absolute-abundance-pair-bonding-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/male-body-count-pair-bonding-and-absolute-abundance", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-24 08:32:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "163797", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Kept Saying She Doesn’t Ask Men for Money Then Continued Emptying My Wallet", "title_slug": "she-kept-saying-she-doesnt-ask-men-for-money-then-continued-emptying-my-wallet", "title_hash": "26f77ec9a955b4ab7f193bf5aea6b74f", "summary": "We met in a very posh office where she served at the inquiry desk. The first time we talked, I found her smile charming and her words very welcoming, but …", "content": "

We met in a very posh office where she served at the inquiry desk. The first time we talked, I found her smile charming and her words very welcoming, but I didn’t have the courage to ask for her number. I went there the next day and saw her, more beautiful than the way I found her. Again, we talked, and I pretended to go to the next office to transact business. On the third time, I asked her, “Is it possible to have your contact so I don’t come here every day? I will just call and make my enquiry on the phone before I come here?”

I think she knew I was lying, but she gave me her number anyway and flashed me a smile that said, I will be expecting your call soon. I called in the evening, and before I could introduce myself, she mentioned my name: “Nicholas, good to hear from you.”

She was on her way home, so we talked on the phone until she got home. I told her she was the reason I kept coming to the office. I told her I would love to see her again, so I would pass by the office very soon. I asked if we could be friends, and she answered in the affirmative. I saw her in her office three days later. I ordered lunch for her and told her, “If I asked you to go to lunch with me, you would have said no. Here, I brought the lunch to you.”

She was so happy she couldn’t stop flashing her signature smile. She called it thoughtful and called me kind. She asked when she would have the opportunity to repay my kindness. I told her friends do more for their friends, so she shouldn’t worry.

A week after the initial conversation, we were talking every day and making good plans to meet outside of her office. She mentioned a place, and we met there one Saturday afternoon. We had a very beautiful date, talking about life and how we’d lived it. When it was getting late, she called an Uber and left the scene, while I later looked for a trotro going my way and boarded it.

On the phone that night, I proposed to her. I could imagine her smiling that beautiful smile. She said, “So soon?” I answered, “When you love someone, soon is enough to let them know before you lose them.” She asked for time to think about it, which I agreed to.

We planned another date, and she chose the venue. I went there and met her seated in all her glory. It was such an expensive place, but I didn’t complain. I knew it happens at the initial dates, but once she accepted my proposal and we started making serious plans, those kinds of places wouldn’t feature in our plans. We ate, we drank, and again she called an Uber and left.

When she got home, she texted, “I’m not the kind of girl who will ask you for money. I find it very hard to do that, but this is the second time and you still didn’t give me money for my Uber.”

I apologized and told her I didn’t think of it that way. I asked how much, and she mentioned GHC300. I didn’t know if I was paying for that night’s Uber or if I was paying for both times we had met. I sent her MoMo and expected a thank you, but all she said was, “I’ve received it.”

A few days later, she called to accept my proposal, which honestly made me very happy. She said we should go out and celebrate it. She said she had taken her time, thought through many options, and had made the best choice in me, so we should go out and celebrate it.

Again, she selected the venue. Another expensive place, but this time I told her to change it to a more affordable place because of the period of the month we were in. There was surprise in her voice, but I didn’t mind. I selected a place I knew I could afford, and we met there. The food was good, and the music soothing. The drink was chilled enough to calm every raging heart. We had a swell night, and she ordered her Uber. This time I asked how much, and she mentioned GH¢95.

I went through my wallet and gave her GH¢100. Later, when she got home and we were talking, she told me, “I’m not the kind of girl to ask for money from my man. It’s very hard for me to do that, but I’m wondering why you gave me the exact amount I mentioned as my Uber fare. Kindly send me something for the week.”

I sent her GHC500, and all I got in return was, “I’ve received it.” No thank you. No God bless you. I was noticing the pattern and praying it wouldn’t happen again, or maybe not too soon. Just a week later, she asked for an outing, and I told her to come to my place instead. We had dated for a while, but she didn’t know where I lived, and I didn’t know where she lived.

She came, and for the first time we kissed. She asked for food, and I ordered it. She ate and slept. I tried to be touchy, but her body language and the reading of the room said she wasn’t comfortable with that, so I stopped. I allowed her to sleep until she ordered an Uber again, and I paid for the fare. The next day she texted, “I’m not the kind of woman who asks her boyfriend for money. It’s very hard for me to do that, but why do you always want me to ask before you give me something? I was with you, but you gave me only my Uber fare. Please send something to your girl for the week.”

I responded, “It’s very hard for me to say this to a woman I’m dating, but let me ask: is it all about money? I thought you were working?”

She was quiet for a while, breathed very hard, before telling me she was sorry to ask for money. She didn’t know asking for money would upset me. I asked, “So apart from Uber, you don’t do any kind of transportation?” She asked, “Does that also bother you?” I replied, “It doesn’t, as far as you’ll be paying for it going forward.”

She got triggered and said, “Fine. I won’t ask for anything from you again,” and then cut the call.

Since then, we haven’t had the best of relationships. She’s giving me attitude, which I don’t mind, because everything she’s doing is helping me to know the kind of woman she is. But what pains me most is the fact that we haven’t done anything intimate. She has taken from me but has given nothing back. If I allow the relationship to end this way, I’m the one who has lost.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

I don’t mind rebuilding the bridge that would lead to sex and later collapsing the bridge, because I’m also the kind of man who finds it very hard to let a woman spend my money without getting anything back. I have time. I can pursue. I can put money on the table just to get her excited and get what I want and later walk away, because it looks like she also came with a plan to just chop my money and walk away.

What do you think? Is she worth pursuing for any kind of serious relationship, or should I get my investment’s worth and walk away?

—Nicholas

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I started going to church after a family member passed, and I saw this handsome priest celebrating Mass. I didn’t know his name, but when I asked more about how to join the Church, I was told to do the OCIA program. So I joined.

I feel sorry to say that I was hoping I would see him there, but it was actually a different priest—young and very funny. I was partly relieved that the other one was not there. But the weeks passed, and I started becoming closer to this new priest. At first, I felt just happy when he would come and talk to me after Mass, but after a while, I became dependent on talking to him and wanting to see him.

I would take any opportunity I had to be involved in church if that meant having a chance to see him. People started to think that I was devoted. I fooled myself into thinking that it was actually God who was the reason I always wanted to be there. But I used to shake in anticipation and cry after seeing him because I knew I could never be with him.

I made comments implying attraction more than once, and I asked him for a hug once. He said he couldn’t hug me and is not allowed to feel anything towards me because he is a priest. Still, after that, he would be open, friendly, and kind toward me. I kept in my mind the time that he said I am amazing. I couldn’t take the heartbreak and frustration anymore.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

I was always in pain; I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I went to Mass only to see him and talk to him, and my heart used to break every time I didn’t. One day, I talked to a different priest and told him how I felt about the other priest. He recommended going to a different parish, but I saw no point in doing that. I left the church. I just left it all behind me. It’s been months, and I miss him, though I fear he probably doesn’t care at all, and that hurts.

—Nina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I met her at the university. She looked like what I had been searching for, for a very long time. It wasn’t hard to approach her because we took the same core courses. Every day, I stopped glancing at her from afar and started saying hello. Different programs but the same level, so we found ourselves in the same general courses at least twice every weekend.

That was where it started. Just greetings at first. Then jokes. Then sitting together. Then everything else.

We fell in love slowly and then all at once. We talked about the future and agreed on one thing: this was leading to marriage. I have two kids. She has one. The kids gave us even more reason to want to make it work. We weren’t just building a love story for ourselves; we were building a home for them too.

But love, as sweet as it is, doesn’t always make the path smooth.

Her father is the problem. He is Ashanti. I am Voltarian. He lives in the US, so our first conversation happened on the phone. The kind of tension that hits you when you are about to speak to your father-in-law for the first time it hit me hard. I was sweating profusely. Beads formed on my upper lip. My stomach was twitching in fear. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t like my voice and how shaky it will sound?

I introduced myself politely, told him my intentions, and waited for his response.

He said, “I don’t want my daughter marrying a Voltarian.”

I was quiet on the phone. My heart beat drastically. In this age and century? This issue? What could I say to change his mind? I mumbled, “We are different individuals. We are not marked by tribe.”

He was quiet on the phone so I continued ranting, “Please, please sir, I am willing to prove myself to you if that is what you want.” Did I know what it meant when I said it? No. But I knew I would go to the end of the ocean to bring a cup of water to my woman if she asked for it.

He said, “I’m coming to Ghana in December. We will talk when we meet.” Then we hung up.

I held onto that hope like a lifeline.

In December, he came down to Ghana. I dressed my best and said a lot of prayers on my way to meet him.

His eldest son and his wife were warm. They smiled at me, offered me water, asked if I needed anything while stealing glances at their father. They asked me questions like they were already accepting me.

But the father? He sat there with his arms folded. Like he was fighting me. Like I was an enemy who had walked into his camp. He listened to me but his face told me he had already made up his mind.

He said, “One of my daughters married a Voltarian. A Togolese man. And the treatment she got was absurd. I will not let it happen again.”

I begged him with my eyes. I begged him with my words. I said, “I am not that man. Please ask your wife. Ask your daughter. They know me. They can tell you who I am.”

He looked at me and said nothing for a long time. Then he said, “I will get back to you.” His time was limited so he traveled back to the US without giving me an answer.

The eldest son promised to talk to him. He said, “I will work on him. Give me time.”

I am still waiting.

Now I am thinking of involving his pastor. He is an elder at The Church of Pentecost. I am a presbyter at the Presbyterian Church of Ghana. We serve the same God. We believe in the same things. Maybe if a man of God talks to him, he will listen. Maybe he will see that tribe does not matter when two people love each other and want to build a home.

But I ask myself: Will I be wrong to involve his district pastor? Will he see it as me going behind his back? Will it make things worse?

We are in love. The peace we share, the way our children get along, the future we have planned it is all too beautiful to let go because of tribe. I am not giving up. I cannot give up. But I need to know if this step I want to take is the right one.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Is this that kind of desperate?

Should I involve the pastor or will I be making a mistake?

— Abednego

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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My current boyfriend is not happy because I don’t post him. One thing I was fond of was posting the men I dated. They didn’t last. I dated Kwame for months; I posted him on my WhatsApp status, followed by love songs.

Anytime I am in love, all my status viewers get a hint. One thing I missed out on was that I was just showing people how unlucky I was in relationships. I will post a boy today and tomorrow we are no more a thing. I will post the next one I find and then a few months later, he’s gone. My friends had dated for years; they stuck with their partners even when they cheated on them and were toxic. However, my case was different. I was very quick to end relationships that I knew had any bad impact on my mental health. This led me to date a number of guys at different times because I kept seeing red flags.

My current boyfriend wants me to post him and show him to the world just like I did for others. Even when he posts his picture on Facebook and I react with a love emoji but don’t leave any comment, he gets upset. I have my reasons for not posting him on WhatsApp, and that’s because I don’t want people reading my life over there. I want to work on my relationship secretly and bring out the results, which is “marriage,” at the right time. But this new guy doesn’t seem to understand. He says he understands me, but he gets moody when that happens.

I am tired of posting relationships on my status that never ended at the altar. I want to wait for the marriage invitation before I post him. We have been dating for just a month, and he has never posted me nor commented on my posts yet wants me to be the one to put him on billboards.

Am I wrong for deciding to keep my relationship private until my wedding invitations are ready? Does he have a point? Is posting your partner really a do-or-die affair?

", "keywords": "We’ve, Been, Dating, for, One, Month, And, He’s, Not, Happy, Because, Don’t, Post, Him", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/172454.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/weve-been-dating-for-one-month-and-hes-not-happy-because-i-dont-post-him/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-24 08:18:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "163793", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Girlfriend Can’t Visit Me Because I’m Not Rich Enough", "title_slug": "my-girlfriend-cant-visit-me-because-im-not-rich-enough", "title_hash": "d59f01196f0d238b364c718eac0f43db", "summary": "I have been talking to this lady since July 2025. We connected after I made a post saying I was ready to start a serious marriage journey and needed a …", "content": "

I have been talking to this lady since July 2025.

We connected after I made a post saying I was ready to start a serious marriage journey and needed a woman who was ready too. She commented. We exchanged contacts. That was how everything started.

The way she talks. The way she reasons. Her attitude. Everything I have seen about her made me like her. I honestly thought I had found someone I could build a future with.

But something has been bothering me.

Since July, she has never visited me. Not even once. She has never made the effort to see where I stay.

She told me she lives with her sister. According to her, she barely does anything in the house because they have two house helps.

Two weeks ago, she told me her sister would give her a break so she could come and spend three days with me. I was happy. Finally, I thought things were moving forward.

Then a day before she was supposed to come, she told me her sister was traveling to Dubai. So she cannot come again until her sister returns.

What confused me is this.

Before that, she told me the house helps had also gone on their break. So if the helps are away and the sister is traveling, who exactly is she staying back for?

I did not understand it.

Out of frustration, I told her maybe I should come and do the necessary things to get her out of that house because the whole arrangement does not make sense to me.

That was when she said her father and sister would ask a lot of questions about my financial background before allowing anything serious.

I opened my mouth “ahh” in shock

I told her that is unnecessary at this stage. They should first get to know me as a person.

Then I continued ranting out of frustration

I told her, “You are not even working or doing anything for yourself so we can build together and get married. You should be doing something.”

She is a professional fashion designer. She has her own industrial sewing machine and equipment. But she does not take outside jobs. She only sews for her sister.

Anytime I talk about her career, her sister, or her family, she gets angry. Those topics always cause tension between us.

After I made that statement about her working, she went quiet. About an hour later, she sent me a long message. The summary was simple.

She wants to quit the relationship. She wants to be single.

Now she is saying she wants to do everything on her own. She does not want me to be part of her journey anymore because I told her to find something doing.

I am confused.

She has a great attitude. She behaves well. But the issue of her family and career is something she does not want me to question at all.

Did I push too hard?

Was I wrong to expect her to be doing something for herself if we are planning marriage?

Or is there something about this situation that I am refusing to see?

—Burna

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Girlfriend, Can’t, Visit, Because, I’m, Not, Rich, Enough", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/30138.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-girlfriend-cant-visit-me-because-im-not-rich-enough/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-24 08:18:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "163571", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What’s Going On In the Fight Over Abortion Pills (Podcast)", "title_slug": "whats-going-on-in-the-fight-over-abortion-pills-podcast", "title_hash": "9bdd5b0b5ccb6cf3c8e5c20cd8a84a81", "summary": "Are conservatives about to get a national ban through the courts?\nThe post What’s Going On In the Fight Over Abortion Pills (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode, Imani and Jess walk through the current legal threats to medication abortion access and explain how the national abortion landscape could be reshaped entirely by spring.

Imani’s column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles, is back in 2026! Sign up for her newsletter here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post What’s Going On In the Fight Over Abortion Pills (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What’s, Going, the, Fight, Over, Abortion, Pills, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/BL-S09-E50-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/19/whats-going-on-in-the-fight-over-abortion-pills/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-24 07:32:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "163570", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Delayed and Turned Away: How Access to Abortion Can Depend on Your Weight", "title_slug": "delayed-and-turned-away-how-access-to-abortion-can-depend-on-your-weight", "title_hash": "00a0a0909ef1bc738886fdac52e34b85", "summary": "Research shows abortion is safe across body sizes. But BMI limits at clinics are still pushing some patients into different care and higher costs.\nThe post Delayed and Turned Away: How Access to Abortion Can Depend on Your Weight appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

\n\n\n\n

This story was originally reported by Gabriella Gladney of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

\n\n\n\n

When Elie Liakopoulos discovered she was pregnant, she knew immediately that she wanted to have an abortion. A surgical abortion to be specific—a prior distressing miscarriage experience made her wary of taking the abortion pill at home, since both miscarriage and medication abortion are managed using mifepristone. She lived in Portland, Oregon, where abortion access is legally protected by the state. She assumed that meant the hardest part of the process would be scheduling the appointment. She called the Lilith Clinic—an independent abortion provider in the city—completed the intake process and set her date.

\n\n\n\n

Then, a phone call changed the course of her plans.

\n\n\n\n

“They returned my phone call to tell me that they wouldn’t be able to perform the abortion. I had no idea at that time that you could be turned away from an abortion at any size for any reason,” Liakopoulos said. “They just said that they had a limit for BMI.”

\n\n\n\n

Body mass index (BMI) is a screening tool to estimate a patient’s body fat. Patients over a certain BMI seeking surgical abortions can face substantial limits and delays (medical abortions however, are not impacted by BMI). Those barriers can lead to a scramble to find alternative care, leaving patients with lingering frustration, physical discomfort, and emotional distress.

\n\n\n\n

The Lilith Clinic said that while they could not comment directly about Liakopoulos’s experience, citing health privacy laws, its policy was to “assess each patient from an anesthesia perspective, as well as a gynecological perspective, as to their eligibility for a safe outpatient procedure,” and to refer them to a hospital if they felt that was needed.

\n\n\n\n

For Liakopoulos, the denial meant she would have to remain pregnant longer, pushing her into the 12th week of her first trimester.

\n\n\n\n

“My first trimester was marred with horrific morning sickness that lasted all day,” Liakopoulos said. “Having to deal with another week and a half of not being able to eat anything or smell anything was really horrible.”

\n\n\n\n

She eventually secured care at Planned Parenthood Columbia Willamette, a northeast Portland location. But there, her body size also shaped her experience.

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“They did not sedate me the way they told me they would, nor did they manage my pain the way it was managed during my last abortion procedure,” Liakopoulos said. “They said this was because my neck was larger than 19 inches around and because my BMI is high.”

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Planned Parenthood Columbia Willamette does not comment on individual patient experiences, but a spokesperson did say “anesthesia and sedation policies are based on evidence‑based medical standards and designed to ensure patient safety. Clinicians assess each patient’s health needs, including factors such as BMI.”

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Her prior surgical abortion at a similar gestational stage had been painful but brief. This time, she said, she was sobbing. The difference in sedation meant she could feel much of the procedure.

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“My abortion was noticeably much worse, materially, much worse, because of my BMI,” she said. “The difference three years of getting a little fatter made.”

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Size as proxy

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There are no comprehensive statistics on how often patients are denied surgical abortions because of BMI or body size. Obesity is typically defined in medical research as a BMI of 30 or higher, but studies consistently show abortion is safe across weight categories. With medical abortions, BMI does not impact dosing or successful outcomes.

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“There’s nothing physiologically that should keep you from being able to perform these safe procedures or medications,” said Dr. Noora Siddiqui, a family medicine physician in Philadelphia and a fellow with Physicians for Reproductive Health.

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She added, “Strictly from a clinical standpoint, there is no difference in outcomes for someone over a BMI of 30 and someone under a BMI of 30.”

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Recent research backs that up. A 2025 study published in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology found that obesity was not associated with increased risk of complications from surgical abortion, even when accounting for age, gestational age, and prior cesarean delivery.

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An earlier 2019 study in Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health found that complication rates did not differ by BMI, yet patients with higher BMIs were more likely to be referred out of clinics, often resulting in delays and higher out-of-pocket costs.

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Yet BMI limits act as a proxy for other concerns. Clinics may turn away obese patients seeking abortions because of a lack of training or equipment, experts said.

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“The history behind BMI was based on white, Scandinavian, European men,” she said. “It wasn’t made for guiding medical management.”

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Siddiqui cited anesthesia as an example. Some anesthesia providers rely on insurance policies or older risk models that treat BMI as a disqualifier, even when evidence shows moderate sedation is safe.

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“If the person providing sedation is not educated or trained in caring for people with higher weights, that feeds into bias,” Siddiqui said.

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Another common reason is equipment.

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“That could be the bed that somebody lays on or the chairs that they are expected to sit in,” said Meghan Daniel, senior director of programs at the Chicago Abortion Fund, the largest abortion fund in the country. “Whether or not the literal physical structure of the clinic is made to accommodate their physical body.”

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Siddiqui said BMI cutoffs are not without consequences.

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“When we use these numbers to prevent folks from getting essential, safe, time-sensitive care, we’re causing delays,” she said. “We’re causing increasing costs like travel, child care, loss of work, or income.”

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Lexis Dotson-Dufault had an abortion years ago in Massachusetts while in college. Access was straightforward, even if emotionally difficult. Medicaid covered the cost. The clinic visit itself, she said, was the easiest part.

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Years later, living in California and working in reproductive justice, Lexis found out she was pregnant again.

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“I knew immediately that I wanted a surgical abortion,” she said. “I just wanted quick, in and out, done.”

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She scheduled an appointment at FPA Women’s Health in Long Beach, where she had previously gone for routine care. She took time off work and flew her best friend in from across the country because she would need someone to drive her home after sedation.

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During the appointment, after the ultrasound, a nurse returned to the room.

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“She was like, we can’t do it today,” Dotson-Dufault said. “We have a visiting doctor, and they’re not comfortable with doing a surgical abortion on you because of your BMI.”

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When Dotson-Dufault asked whether the regular doctor could perform the procedure later, the nurse left and returned again.

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“She just hands me a bunch of different papers with different hospitals on it,” Dotson-Dufault said. “I immediately black out. I’m like, what are you handing me?”

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She said she was later told the denial was not about the visiting physician, but rather that it was part of their policy.

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When asked for comment, FPA women’s health pointed to their guidelines listed on their website which says that individuals with a BMI above 60 are considered high risk and will be referred to hospitals for their safety. Dotson-Dufault says that at the time, her BMI was 53.

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“I wasn’t expecting it with abortion care, because abortion is just so low risk, so safe,” Dotson-Dufault said. “All you looked at was my weight and said, ‘That’s not OK.’”

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Barriers to care

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Abortion services are one area where size-based barriers surface, but not the only one.

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“The fatter I’ve gotten, the worse my care has gotten,” Liakopoulos said. “My fatness does not signify anything related to my health.”

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Christina Hughes, a size-inclusive doula who runs their company Big Fat Pregnancy out of Seattle, said these experiences mirror what many fat patients encounter throughout pregnancy and reproductive care.

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“We start at a disadvantage from chairs squeezing into us, gowns not being big enough, tables not fitting our bodies,” she said. “We’re physically uncomfortable and mentally being perceived as not enough.”

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They added that fear and shame shape how patients experience care.

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“When we’re scared that our body can’t do it, can’t have a baby, can’t be a parent, we are already physiologically signaling to our body that we can’t do this,” they said.

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That fear can make it harder for patients to ask questions or advocate for themselves when denied care.

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Abortion funds help connect patients with providers and coordinate care. Some are working to act as a buffer for patients by identifying clinic restrictions ahead of time. Daniel said the Chicago Abortion Fund surveys clinics about BMI limits, equipment constraints, and sedation policies so callers are directed to providers who can meet their needs. She said that among the dozens of clinics surveyed, a handful explicitly said they had restrictions about who they could serve.

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“Everything that we do is guided by our callers,” Daniel said. “We want to make sure that the place they’re going to get abortion care is truly the best fit for them.”

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Siddiqui said broader change requires provider education and accountability.

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“There should be more provider education around this, and more research done for all body sizes,” she said. “Safe, accessible, effective reproductive care.”

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Liakopoulos said what she wants is simpler.

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“I just want fat people to be included. Fat people make up more than a third of this country. If all of us are being treated more poorly simply because our bodies are larger, that’s obviously a systemic problem,” she said. “If for abortion access, you have to kick a few fatties off the medical table, I think in the grand scheme, I think people think that’s worth it. And you know, being in that statistical margin is not a fun place to be.”

The post Delayed and Turned Away: How Access to Abortion Can Depend on Your Weight appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Dear Paul,

Five years ago, on this day, I found out you were sleeping with your cousin. Five years later, the memory still cuts deep. Not just the act itself, but realizing that people I held in such high regard could disrespect me so completely..

I was nursing our one year old baby when you threw me into that dark place. I became a ghost of my former self, scared that my own sadness might somehow touch our child. You had so much, Paul. We had so much.

Let me take you back to the beginning. From the moment I met you, I knew I wanted to be the mother of your children. I dreamed of building a family with you. So when you finally proposed, I said yes with my whole heart. I was ready and willing to spend my life loving you and raising your kids. Even if that was all I ever did, it would have been enough for me.

But Paul, here’s what I still don’t understand. When I found the evidence that you were sleeping with your cousin, why did you make me feel like the crazy one?

How could you do this with your own blood cousin? Is it a curse? Were you possessed? What goes through your mind when you come home and sleep in our bed after that act with her?

Do you even think about the consequences—the spiritual weight, the curse, the effect on our family? How could you betray everything we built, everything I sacrificed, like this?

Do you even feel the shame, or is it just numbness inside you now?

Why did you delete those transaction records showing money you sent her?

Why did you erase your message thread with her? I read those messages with my own two eyes. I saw the words clear as day: “your pot is sweet, next time I will eat and drink from it”

Do you know how much weight I lost thinking about it? I looked like I had kwashiorkor. I wasted away trying to figure out what you wanted that I wasn’t giving you. Was it motherhood that changed me so much? Did having your baby make me less desirable in your eyes? Tell me, Paul. Was that it?

So you were having fun with your cousin, fine. But why? Why did you have to go after my cousin too? Are you connected to some dark blood curse, or is this just who you really are?

I never imagined I would find naked photos of my own cousin in your phone. But there they were. And you were asking for more. Sending her money. Buying her alcohol. You put me against my own family because this cousin and I were once so close. Do you have any idea what it felt like walking through our community, knowing people were whispering about how my cousin is sleeping my husband?

And I won’t even get into all the other nude photos I found in your phone. Remember Jackie’s photos? Remember the day I came home and you had just snapped a nude picture of yourself? Where you were sending it, only you know. When I confronted you, you demanded proof.

But I didn’t take a screenshot because my phone is accessible to our children. What would I say if they stumbled across something like that? But don’t insult me, Paul. Don’t pretend I’m too stupid to know what I saw.

If I wrote down every woman you’ve been involved with, it would fill a book. You’re no different from those men you read about, sticking it anywhere, except you’re the one living in my house, sleeping in my bed. Did you change after we married, or were you always like this? You call it flirting, but why do you tell them to meet you at hotels? Why do you spend long nights out partying and drinking with them, coming home drunk out of your mind, missing your steps, misbehaving in front of your own children? Sometimes you don’t even make it inside. Sometimes you sleep in your car.

It’s been five years ever since. And every December, it all comes rushing back. I dread going to your family’s house to celebrate with people who sided with you while I was breaking inside. My heart sinks each time you casually ask about my job schedule during Christmas, as if that day does not mark the beginning of my silent suffering.

But here’s what I want you to know, Paul. One day I will leave you. That day is coming. In your old age, when you need help with food, when you need someone to bring your medicines after that stroke that’s probably waiting for you, I won’t be there. I’ll leave when the kids are bigger: when the children are grown and no longer need me to hold everything together. For now, I’ll stay and close my eyes to what you’re doing. Not because I accept it, but because I have nowhere else to go right now. And the children need me here.

So know this. I am watching you. With two eyes. But one eye open, one eye closed. I see what you’re doing. I smell what you’re doing. And still, you continue.

You will also notice something else. I will stop forcing you to love me. I will stop begging you to take me on dates. I will stop pushing you to spend time with your children. It hurts me that they might grow up without speaking of their father with joy in their eyes, but I cannot manufacture fatherhood for you..

So here I am. Focusing on my own well being. Working on my own life. And no, I’m not cheating on you. I have no plans to. I will not fight with you anymore. I will not struggle with you anymore.

I’m just here. Waiting. And watching.

And one day, when the time is right, I’ll be gone.

–Asi

#SB<>

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NYU Langone to halt care for trans kids

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NYU Langone Health, a premier New York City hospital system, announced this week that it is halting gender-affirming care for trans youth. “These kids need care,” one parent of a teen who had been receiving care through the program, told Gothamist. She called the move “dangerous.” The announcement comes after a year of uncertainty about the program’s future. Patients began reporting cancelled visits in January 2025, following a Trump administration executive order banning the care for people under 19.

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New Hampshire lawmakers propose shield law

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Democratic lawmakers in New Hampshire introduced an abortion shield law this week that would protect people from being prosecuted by abortion-restrictive states for receiving legal care in New Hampshire. If passed, the bill would make it illegal for doctors to be extradited to other states for rendering health care. Abortion is legal up to 24 weeks gestation in the state. “We will continue fighting off attacks from those who want to strip away our bodily autonomy,” Sen. Debra Altschiller, the bill’s sponsor, said.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Queer federal workers allege discrimination

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Current and former LGBTQ+ federal workers are suing the Trump administration, alleging discrimination. After Trump signed a 2025 executive order declaring the federal government would only recognize two genders and that gender is assigned at birth, these government employees said they were forced to choose between their jobs and their basic human needs, including being unable to use the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity.

This news roundup first appeared in our newsletter, Rewire Weekly. Sign up here to get the latest reproductive rights news, expert analysis, and a peek into the RNG newsroom—fresh to your inbox.

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The post Gender-Affirming Care for Minors Axed at Major NYC Hospital appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This story was originally reported by Errin Haines of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

Leah Daughtry was 6 years old when she first met the Rev. Jesse Jackson at a boycott of a local grocery store that refused to hire Black workers.

Her father was a prominent civil rights activist and church leader long active in politics, and Jackson became a fixture in the Daughtry family’s home and church in Brooklyn. Later, when Daughtry was a student at Dartmouth College, Jackson introduced her to presidential politics when he recruited her to mobilize young voters in New Hampshire.

“It was incredibly empowering, incredibly weighty, but what I learned from that experience was that he trusted me,” Daughtry recalled. “He saw something in me and in all of us that said, ‘I believe you can do it and I’m going to give you the responsibility to help me win.’”

Part of the civil rights legacy of Jackson, who died Feb. 17 at 84, is the expansion of Black women’s political power at the voting booth and within Democratic Party politics.

Jackson, who worked with the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and led key organizations in the push for civil rights, including the Rainbow PUSH Coalition, also mounted two ultimately unsuccessful presidential bids, in 1984 and 1988. Through those runs, Jackson helped reshape American political power by building a diverse coalition centered on those long excluded from national leadership—including Black voters, women, young people, and the working class. It was a coalition that would become the foundation of modern Democratic Party politics.

As Jackson’s civil rights work evolved from the movement to political power, his campaigns registered millions of new voters—what became known as the Rainbow Coalition—and diverse voter participation would become part of his lifelong work. His campaigns helped to normalize Black women’s leadership beyond the ballot box as organizers, decision-makers, and strategists. In the years since his presidential campaigns, Black women have shaped party leadership and helped define the direction of American politics.

“He used to say, ‘Our patch ain’t big enough,’” Daughtry said of Jackson. “Any one community, there aren’t enough of us to make electoral change. We have to build a quilt that has bigger patches, and all of us together means we can get the change we all need. We are much stronger when we are together, and there are more of us—even if they may not come where you come from, or look like what you look like. There is common ground, if you look for it.”

Women were key to the Rainbow Coalition, said Melanie Campbell, who was a student at Clark College (now Clark-Atlanta University) when she volunteered on Jackson’s campaign, registering voters in Georgia.

“He had women around him politically. … He let us understand that we had the power of the vote,” said Campbell, now president of the National Coalition on Black Civic Participation. “I didn’t know I was going to end up working in civil rights. Being able to be around him and other civil rights leaders, men and women … it molded me to be what I am today.”

Donna Brazile was also among the young Black women who got her start in politics working with Jackson. In 1984, at the age of 23, she left a job with Coretta Scott King to work for Jackson, who tapped her Louisiana roots to focus on Southern voters.

She remembered him as someone who saw people as individuals, who never made her feel reduced or like she had to fight to get into rooms.

“He always included us,” said Brazile, who would become the first Black woman to manage a major party presidential campaign in 2000. “He gave me my wings. He understood I could organize and he gave me every opportunity. He rooted me in politics. He let me know that I could manage campaigns. … Practically every skill I learned, I learned standing on his shoulders.”

Chicago native Minyon Moore was a college student working at Encyclopedia Britannica when she was hired to work at Operation PUSH, the civil rights organization Jackson co-founded in her hometown. In 1988, Moore was tapped to be deputy field director for Jackson’s presidential campaign.

“Shirley Chisholm said, ‘If you don’t have a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.’ Reverend Jackson said, ‘You have a seat at the table—and it’s a hard chair,’”—a permanent spot, Moore said. He emphasized the importance of preparation and the value of serving other people and taking on any task, no matter how big or small, she added.

Moore’s career in politics includes becoming the first Black woman director of White House political affairs, under President Bill Clinton, and, later, leading the Democratic National Committee and the party’s convention.

Black women elected officials are also part of Jackson’s legacy. Democratic Rep. Maxine Waters co-chaired Jackson’s 1984 and 1988 campaigns. She was elected to Congress in 1990 and is serving her 18th term in California’s 43rd District.

In a tribute to Jackson, former Vice President Kamala Harris wrote: “He let us know our voices mattered. He instilled in us that we were somebody. And he widened the path for generations to follow in his footsteps and lead.”

In 1984, Jackson was only the second Black American to run for president as a major political party candidate, following Shirley Chisholm’s trailblazing run in 1972. While neither of them was elected, voters won important gains in political representation through Jackson’s candidacy. He pushed the Democratic Party to change its rules around rewarding delegates to end winner-take-all primaries, creating fairer, proportional representation.

In 2024 at the Democratic National Convention, where Harris accepted the party’s nomination for the presidency, Jackson appeared on the opening night to thunderous applause from the arena, a testament to his contribution to American politics. It was a full-circle moment for Moore, who said Jackson never stopped mentoring her over the decades.

“He trusted us to go out and work on behalf of the people,” Moore said. “He always wanted me to know exactly what our white counterparts knew. He felt like the only way to do that was to give us the experience to do it. There was never a place where we weren’t welcome.”

By inviting Black women into national politics, Jackson helped ensure they would help shape its future. His approach holds lessons for the Black women organizers and political strategists who carry his work forward, said Glynda Carr, president of Higher Heights for America.

“His two campaigns were built on this notion of coalition, to elevate the voices of the working poor, the working class, the middle class, and insisting that Black voters and our communities were centered in a national conversation,” said Carr, whose political action committee mobilizes Black women voters to elect Black women to office. “If we’re actually going to rebuild America, what does true coalition-building look like?”

$\"\"$

The post ‘He Gave Me My Wings’: Jesse Jackson Opened Doors for Black Women in Politics appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"is$ You see the headlines: nightlife is dying. Between inflation emptying wallets and Gen Z rewriting the rules of the club, many guys are struggling. Is the end of night game nigh?

Hey guys.

I hope you are all doing well.

Today I wish to discuss some of the latest nightlife changes and how they impact your game, and more importantly give you some direction on how you can best calibrate to this new era.

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Five years after marriage, my wife got pregnant. It was the happiest day in our lives as a married couple. We had gone through shame and name-calling. Friends made jokes about us right in front of us because of our inability to have a child, without thinking about how we would feel. Even those who asked why we were not able to have a child did so with a tone of malice. I didn’t cry, but my wife did. Almost every night, she had a reason to shed tears until finally we conceived.

We named him Isaiah. He was our happy song, the reason we could walk around with our shoulders high, telling the world that we too were capable of conceiving. He became the eye of our bond, and as new parents, we did all we could to love him and provide a conducive environment for him to grow.

During the lockdown, when the world was locked away by a plague, we experienced a special form of plague that snatched our happiness away. Isaiah was then crawling. He would hold anything and use the grip to stand on his feet. I was in the hall; my wife was in the bathroom when we heard a shrill scream followed by a baam sound from the kitchen. I quickly rushed to the kitchen to find him on the floor with hot water poured on him. I think the dadesain the water was in also hit his head because his tongue was sticking out of his mouth.

We quickly rushed him to the hospital with our hearts in our mouths. My wife blamed me for taking my eyes off him. I said I didn’t know how he got to the kitchen. All of a sudden, my wife turned into a beast, warning me to pray that he got better. “Pray nothing happens to him. Pray hard.” She was crying; I was crying too.

Describing what our baby went through before losing his life the next day would be too graphic. My heart can’t even stand it, but Isaiah suffered. He lost his skin. He fought hard, but in the end, death won. We came home empty-handed, and that was when our marriage started breaking apart. In my wife’s mind and soul, I was responsible. Yes, I accepted responsibility, but it didn’t make the pain go away. It made it worse.

She moved out of the house because she couldn’t stand the memories of what happened. Everyone said I should give her grace and space to heal, as if I didn’t need the same to heal. We were a couple in turmoil. We needed to heal together, but she saw me as the villain. She didn’t forgive me. My presence reminded her of my mistakes, so she moved back to her parents’ house.

I got a new place and moved our belongings to this new apartment. I thought that would make us better and help us heal quicker. I called her and told her I’d moved to a new place, so she should come back home. That was the day she told me she didn’t think she could continue with the marriage. The next hour, I was in her parents’ house. I told her dad what my wife had said. He responded, “She has informed us. I know it’s pain. Just allow a little time. She’ll run back to you.”

I spoke to our pastor, the one who counseled us before marriage. He dedicated four months of his time to praying and counseling us. Nothing changed. It rather gave my wife the perfect excuse to stay away from me. She would say, “I’m still waiting to hear what God will say.”

One day, our pastor told me, “Stop chasing her around. Cut all connections to her, and let’s see what will happen. I’m praying for you. Everything will be fine.”

I stopped calling. I stopped visiting. I cut all connections, but I couldn’t cut myself off from the fear that said I was losing my wife. I lived like a bachelor. We went to church in nose masks, so I would see my wife but wouldn’t see her full face. I missed her, but I had to pretend I didn’t see her.

We were separated for almost eight months. I woke up one late night and couldn’t sleep. My heart felt heavy, and memories of Isaiah rushed through my head. I walked from my house for almost an hour to where my wife was. When I knocked, it was her father who came to meet me. I told him, “I want to spend the night here.”

He let me in, and I walked to where she was sleeping and slept next to her. She was awake. She knew I was around. She could hear my voice where she was sleeping. She asked me, “What do you want?” I answered, “I came to spend the night with my wife.”

She shifted to give me space to sleep. I put my hand around her, and she didn’t fight it. We remained like that until I slept off. It was the deepest sleep I’d ever had since the incident. It was the sun that sneaked through the window to wake us up in the morning. I said, “What are you still waiting for? Shouldn’t we go through this hard time together?” She answered, “You go. I’ll come back.”

A week later, she was home with me. She apologized. I apologized too. She cried. I cried too. Starting all over again is always difficult, but we were determined. Three months later, she was pregnant. In March 2023, we had a girl. We named her Ayɛyi, a symbol of our gratitude to God.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

In 2025, before the bell would toll to usher us into 2026, we had another baby, a boy. We named him Isaiah. He’s our Isaiah, chapter two, verse two: “The mountain of the LORD’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills…”

We are the family the Lord showed mercy to. He picked us from the bottom of the hill and established us on top of the mountain so all shall see His goodness.

—Essel

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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We almost got married. While we were planning our wedding and buying the things we needed, he had an accident that almost cost him his life. He was at the hospital for two months, healing from broken bones and learning to be himself again.

At the hospital, we spent a lot of money getting him back to health. All the money he had saved was gone. As a supportive fiancée who wanted nothing more than to see my man healthy again, I spent what I had saved too and even took a loan at some point to be able to afford surgery and other medical care. It was hard, but the love we had for each other ensured we sailed through.

When he was discharged and brought home, I stood by him through it all. We were not married, but I went to live with him, nursing his wounds, massaging his body, and doing everything a wife was supposed to do for a husband.

His mother became my mother. His father became the father I didn’t have while growing up. They didn’t have much, but they had kind words and love. They came to visit. They called when they had to. They told me I was not alone and thanked me for the work I was doing for their child. For several months, I was with him until he was strong enough to start working again.

When he did, I was a woman on the moon, knowing that soon we would recover what we’d lost and return to normal again. After work every night, I went to see him. When I couldn’t go to his house after work, I went there early in the morning before I went to work. I gave him myself and dedicated the life I had to ensure we never missed each other.

While doing all that, my own parents were not happy, especially my mom. She didn’t understand why a woman would use her money to help heal a man she wanted to marry. I did my best for them. I didn’t neglect them in any way. I sent their monthly allowance even when it was hard, but she still didn’t understand why I was wasting my money on a man I wasn’t married to. “What if he doesn’t marry you after all this?” she asked me.

My dad, on the other hand, didn’t say much, but he was praying I would see sense and abandon my fiancé. I told him, “You were all here when he came to do the knocking rite. You all know we were planning to marry until he had the accident. What woman would I be if I abandoned him at the time he needed me the most?”

Dad responded, “I’m not saying you should abandon him. I’m only saying you should be careful.”

I couldn’t wait to prove them wrong, but time has a way of changing narratives and twisting the stories of our lives. Today, it’s my parents who have been proven right by time.

When he recovered and started working, everything was going very well. He even helped me pay the loan I took to help with his bills. Two years later, after we had dated for six years, we thought it was time to get our plans back on track. We fixed a date for our wedding and started counseling.

Along the way, we talked to a photographer we wanted to cover our wedding. He sent us a folder to go through to see his work and how much he charged. He downloaded the image folder onto his computer so I could also watch later and decide. One evening, after we had returned from counseling, I asked to see the photos, and he gave me his laptop.

He had already opened the folder the images were in, but I thought there was more, so I opened the next folder. There was a folder named “Photos.” When I opened that folder, there was another folder named “Videos.” When I opened the video folder, I met another folder named “Kingdom.” The Kingdom folder had another folder called “FYEO,” and inside the FYEO folder, there was another folder whose name I’ve forgotten. One after the other, I opened folders until I finally met a lot of videos with porn thumbnails.

I took my time to watch each and every one of them. Some of the videos were of white people, but many of them were videos he had recorded of himself with other women. His face and the faces of the women were clearly visible.

I watched with a broken heart, but I continued clicking through until I clicked on another one and saw me and him in bed. Eventually, I saw about four of our own videos. Some were old, and others were as recent as a few months ago. I could see myself and figure out when the videos were recorded, but with the other women, I couldn’t tell when the videos were recorded.

I left one of the videos playing and called him to come and see. Immediately he saw the video, he pushed the screen down to shut the laptop. “How did you get here? Is that the folder I opened for you?”

There were already tears in my eyes. “You have all these women in your life? Where were they when I was suffering with you at the hospital? When we needed money to make you better, where were they?”

He said the videos were recorded years before we met. We had dated for six years already, so I asked, “You mean these videos are over six or seven years old? What are you telling me?”

He still defended his stance and said I had no reason to be bothered because those were old videos. I said, “You recorded us too just a few months ago. How did you do it without me knowing?” He explained it as if he had every right to record us because we were dating and about to get married. I was expecting to hear him say sorry, but he defended himself until I left his place.

I was in bed thinking of what to do next when he texted me to say sorry. I read it and didn’t respond. My heart was breaking. I saw every minute of the videos in the folder. I knew what I was looking at, and those videos couldn’t have been that old. It was hard for me to tell anyone around me, so the next time we met at counseling, I decided to share what I’d seen with the counselor, even though he had pleaded with me not to bring it up.

The counselor was equally shocked. He spent the whole evening trying to understand my emotions and what I was going to do next. I said, “He said they were old videos. I know videos have dates just like photos. I want to see the dates each one was recorded before I will accept his apologies.”

He told us he deleted them the day I saw them. I told the counselor, “Then there’s no need for this. We end here.”

The counselor gave us time to go through our emotions and resolve our issues, but I told him there was nothing to resolve. Once those videos had been deleted, our journey to the altar should also be deleted.

It took me weeks and courage to be able to tell my parents what was going on. I knew they were happy to be right. Everything they said showed they were happy to be right, but that didn’t hurt me more than what I had seen with my own eyes. His parents called me. His mom was crying and kneeling to beg me to change my mind. I loved her—I still do—and it hurt my heart to see her crying and kneeling, but I told her there was no way I would change my mind without seeing the dates those videos were recorded.

We had made some financial moves toward our wedding. After two weeks without any proof from him, I started calling and canceling every arrangement we had made. I didn’t care about the money I’d spent. It’s better to waste money than to burn your heart on the altar of marriage. This happened in September last year. He is still begging for us to be together again.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’m no longer angry. I even laugh about it. This shows I’ve forgiven him and moved on to a state of no return, but he doesn’t see it that way. There’s no way I would marry a man who has such videos with other women. Even if he brought the videos and I saw the dates and he was right, what I saw would have still haunted me out of the relationship. It was better to leave than continue to suffer with the memories of those videos.

We are over, but life isn’t. I’m at a happy place, knowing I took the right decision to be where I am now.

—Letitia

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******

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A guy was hitting on my wife, and my wife said she was married. The guy asked if she was happily married, and my wife answered, “I don’t know, but I’m married.” The guy concluded, “You’ve answered my question. Thank you.”

The only reason I haven’t asked my wife about it is that I’m waiting to see how the conversation will end. They’re still talking. So far, nothing serious, but I think the guy hasn’t given up interest in her. My question is, what makes a marriage a happy marriage?

We’ve been married for two years. We don’t have a child. If you ask me if I’m happily married, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that I am happily married. I go home to a wife who is happy to meet me. She does her duties as a wife, and I also do mine. We have unwritten rules, and these rules don’t affect either of us negatively. I know my wife; she would have said it long ago because she’s that vocal.

Our bedroom life is good, as far as I know. Sometimes she runs from me because, in her own words, “Don’t come and break me down. Tomorrow I will go to work.” That means I’m doing my job very well as a man.

We don’t go hungry. Our bills are paid on time. We don’t owe anyone anything. When we are bored at home, we go to places where we can have fun. Currently, the only thing I can point to as missing is a child, which we are hoping to have in the near future. We are not bothered about it. I don’t think we’ve had a conversation where a child became an issue.

I have a car. I had it even before we got married. My wife doesn’t, and we are planning to get her one. We are saving towards it. We are far away from the target, but life is time and tides. I believe she will own a car someday.

I don’t think we have any problems. We haven’t fought in a long time. We settle issues before they generate into a fight, so to me, we are supposed to be happy. But my wife can’t answer the question of whether she’s happily married and is still entertaining a man whose intentions are clear as day.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I hope it doesn’t get to a point where it will jeopardize our marriage, but I’m asking the women here: what will make you hit your chest and say, “I’m happily married”? What should the color of the marriage look like before you believe your marriage is a happy color?

—Lesly

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******

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I met him on a bus. He was the conductor. I was on my way to a new job, early morning, nervous about the day ahead. He didn’t stand out much that first time, not really. But soon after, I started riding his bus every day to work until I lost that job. Funny thing is, it was actually the driver I had my eye on. For whatever reason though, it was John who ended up becoming the biggest mistake of my life.

John became my lover after so many life events brought us together. We had an amazing relationship going for a while. It felt so right, like my dream of getting married soon was finally about to come true. Everything was moving perfectly until I started asking him for money.

I was unemployed then, just lost my job, living from hand to mouth. I needed whatever support I could receive. He had traveled to Qatar by that time. He didn’t have money when I needed my hair done, even though he had promised me a new phone. I was yet to receive it. What I didn’t have though, his sister did.

He sent me pictures of his sister’s hair and added, “You know I paid for it.” But because I was in love, I let it go. Looking back now, their relationship was weird. The way they hovered around each other. How he put her first even before me. Because I loved him, I took it as a man who loved his sisters. A family man. Because his sister was the first person he spoke to each morning and before the sun set.

But I was begging him to talk to me. If I had any sense, I would have left. I was the kind of girl who advised other women to pack their bags and go, but I stood there. Love makes us this stupid.

I saw the distance between us as the problem. It was because I was thinking of how I felt lonely, how I had a problem, and then it clicked. Distance. Distance was the problem. So I decided to find a way to solve it. I was fighting so hard to go to Qatar to meet him, the love of my life. I told him everything. If I went to the passport office, I told him. If I found a job application, I told him. Unbeknownst to me, he was always looking for opportunities to take himself out of Qatar. Because as he put it, “I’m coming there and he really didn’t want to see me.”

One day I wrote him a text and he replied after three days. That’s when my senses returned to me. I thought about what I endured in the name of love, and right there and then I chose myself. I just wrote him a simple text. ” i hope you fall in love with a girl with your attitude.”

He didn’t write back. He wanted me out of his life long time ago. It was me who was forcing things.

I didn’t cry. I just went to the bathroom and took a two hour long shower. I stood under it, washed my hair, remembered when he didn’t want to pay for it. I rubbed and itched myself for believing that a conductor was the love of my life. Maybe the driver was, but I didn’t even get to experience that. I washed away my feelings for him. No bitterness. No regrets. I wish him well.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Now, I didn’t talk about when he impregnated some girl and told me it was his friend. Stupid me, I gave him some. Later after we broke up, that’s when I found out it was his girlfriend. The story was his, not his friend’s.

—Rita

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##SB<>

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I dated a married woman years ago and learned a lot from her when it comes to cheating women. She said she was unhappy in her marriage but loved her husband very much, the reason she couldn’t leave the marriage. I didn’t have any special reason for being with her, except that I enjoyed the intimacy I had with her and the thrilling nature of our affair.

Her husband was a struggling man when they met. According to her, she came from a wealthy family and had no business dating a man of his caliber, but it was love that made her decide to stay and grow their relationship even when a section of her family didn’t approve of it. She told me, “I’d spent all my life being a good girl and obeying my parents. For once, I decided to do things my own way, even if they didn’t approve.”

So she went ahead and married a man who couldn’t afford to rent a comfortable place for them to live in, so they were living in one of the houses that belonged to her mother. When they had their first child, the man also had his first financial breakthrough. He landed a great contract that changed the tune of his life. According to her, her husband changed when money started coming into his hands.

I asked if she caught him cheating, and she said, “No, I haven’t seen him cheating, but he’s a man. Everything is possible.”

I would be with her and her husband would call. Sometimes, during intimacy, her husband would call and she would look at the phone and continue doing it with me until she was done. She would then pick up the phone and say, “I’m working.” Her husband would innocently talk to her in a happy tone and say he couldn’t wait to have her home.

She would dress up and leave my place like a saint. While she was gone, I would be thinking about everything that happened and the fact that her husband didn’t know. She travelled with me to the Volta Region one weekend. She was attending a funeral, and I went with her. Their child fell sick and her husband called, telling her their child had been admitted. Right after the conversation ended, she jumped on me and started initiating intimacy.

She wanted us to do things she’d never done with her husband because her husband would object. Every day came with a new desire. She said her husband wasn’t half the man that I was. She didn’t give me money, and I also didn’t give her money. I didn’t even have a quarter of the money she had. Sometimes she gave me gifts, but the main thing between us was the intimacy.

One evening she called to ask me to meet her in a hotel, and I did. All night she ranted about her job, friends she had supported but who had turned their backs on her. She ranted about her marriage too and later fell asleep. In the middle of the night, she woke up and said, “At least you listened. The one in the house doesn’t have the time to listen to me.” We spent the rest of the night cuddling but nothing sexual. Early the next day, we parted.

I didn’t know that was going to be the last time for us. I would have savored the moment better than I did. She changed drastically after that day. She didn’t call and didn’t text for days. My messages were left hanging. At a point, I thought her husband had caught her, but months later she told me she was just going through a phase and decided to stay away.

I thought I knew women because of her. I thought I understood women better because of the experience I had with her and the things she complained about. I even boldly told my friends how they should handle their girlfriends so they wouldn’t cheat on them. When the married woman left, I started growing my own relationship with Martha, a lady I’d always had a thing for.

It was good, I thought, until a few months later she left me. Her reason was that I was suffocating her with calls and it looked like I didn’t trust her. All I did was call her every day and night, trying to understand how her day was. I wanted to be the one she talked to, so I opened my ears and heart to her, but that didn’t work. She wanted something different.

The next one was Erica. She cheated with a married man. When I caught her, she told me the man gave her more than I cared to give. Yes, I didn’t give her so much money, but emotionally I was present. I helped with her assignments, and sometimes I attended her online classes for her and taught her what was taught. When she needed money and asked, I gave her what I had. But to her, that wasn’t enough.

I invested two years of my time in that relationship. When it ended, I told myself never again would I invest that much in a woman. To me, women don’t know what they actually want. You’ll listen to them narrate everything they want and later see them doing exactly what they said they didn’t want.

I think that was what happened to the married woman I dated. I never spoke to her husband, but I believe him. The fault was from the wife. She cheated not because he didn’t do much. She cheated because she didn’t know what she actually wanted in a man.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

\nThat’s the theory I’m walking with in life now. I’m thirty-four and single. When I need intimacy, I get it some way, somehow, but with no commitment to where I get it from. I guess this is the only way a man can guard his heart because a woman will do what she wants to do and later blame it on you for pushing her to do what she didn’t want to do.

This is not advice to men or anyone. This is my lived experience, and I’m sharing it to see if any man here can relate. At this rate, I don’t think I will marry. It will be very hard for me to trust a woman.

—Lesly

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Thought, Knew, Why, Women, Cheat, After, Dating, Married, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/48219.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-thought-i-knew-why-women-cheat-after-dating-a-married-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-23 04:44:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "161286", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What’s Going On In the Fight Over Abortion Pills", "title_slug": "whats-going-on-in-the-fight-over-abortion-pills", "title_hash": "61a904da8d7354cc275fc6b5c6d43382", "summary": "Are conservatives about to get a national ban through the courts?\nThe post What’s Going On In the Fight Over Abortion Pills appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode, Imani and Jess walk through the current legal threats to medication abortion access and explain how the national abortion landscape could be reshaped entirely by spring.

Transcript (coming soon!)

Imani’s column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles, is back in 2026! Sign up for her newsletter here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post What’s Going On In the Fight Over Abortion Pills appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What’s, Going, the, Fight, Over, Abortion, Pills", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/BL-S09-E50-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/19/whats-going-on-in-the-fight-over-abortion-pills/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-19 10:46:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "161287", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Racism Stops Carrying Consequences", "title_slug": "when-racism-stops-carrying-consequences", "title_hash": "f332ea56543b5f618dfa7a4c046e2cd6", "summary": "Opinion: Trump’s attacks on the Obamas reveal what happens when open bigotry no longer disqualifies a president—and how that shift could endanger civil-rights protections.\nThe post When Racism Stops Carrying Consequences appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

\n\n

Donald Trump posted a video online depicting the Obamas as apes.

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This isn’t shocking—or at least it shouldn’t be. Trump has built an entire political career out of saying the quiet racist part out loud and then daring the country to do something about it.

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From housing discrimination in the 1970s and the Central Park Five ads to birtherism and comments about “shithole countries,” the man has been running the same racist playbook for decades. This is the same man who told congresswomen of color to go back where they came from and warned that immigrants are “poisoning the blood” of the nation. At this point, treating any of this as shocking requires a kind of practiced amnesia.

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Depicting the first Black president and first lady as apes is racist, dehumanizing, and offensive in ways that aren’t exactly subtle or remotely original.

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Still, the current president of the United States sharing this video matters—even if he ultimately deleted it.

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And what happened next matters more.

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Where’s the pushback?

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This latest episode, which occurred in the first week of February, is not just another entry in America’s long, ugly scrapbook of anti-Black dehumanization. It’s a stress test—a very simple one, really, of how much open anti-Black cruelty American institutions can sustain while still pretending this is a democracy.

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History suggests the answer is “quite a lot.”

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To be fair, a handful of Republicans objected to Trump’s racist AI slop. Eleven Republican members of Congress by my count, managed to locate both their conscience and a microphone. Some of them even managed to say the word “racist,” which in modern Republican politics is akin to setting yourself on fire.

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But here’s the problem: Nothing happened next. Nothing changed.

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As with so many past examples of outrageously deviant behavior by the chief executive, this moment was brushed aside as simply another example of Trump being Trump—filed away as background noise rather than as a political event with political consequences.

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But the relevant question after Trump posted the offensive video was never whether a few people could locate their conscience for long enough to issue a press release. The real question was whether any of it would produce consequences that meaningfully altered Trump’s standing inside the GOP.

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It did not.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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The mainstream media behaved as if a few Republicans who registered their disapproval became evidence that our democracy is healthy. We saw headlines about Republican “pushback” and stories about internal tension.

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The New York Times described an “unusually strong and public outcry,” as though a few sentences of disapproval from a tiny fraction of the GOP was meaningful. Al Jazeera called it an “outpouring of bipartisan condemnation,” which seems hyperbolic when 97 percent of Republican officials said nothing.

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Republican leaders absolutely know the imagery Trump shared is racist. They are not confused. They are not misinformed. They are making a calculation. And the calculation is simple: angering Trump’s base is more dangerous than tolerating Trump’s racism.

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So they tolerate it. Again and again.

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By the time you read this, the media will have likely moved on. After all, every day in the Trump administration brings a fresh hell and even open racism struggles to hold the public’s attention. Trump is historically extreme in both cruelty and contempt for the political norms that once constrained even the most harmful presidents. So why am I even writing about it? Shouldn’t I just move on?

\n\n\n\n

No. Because this is how normalization actually works. Not through silence, but through consequence so weak it barely registers. A little dissent. A few headlines. Some sternly worded tweets. And, in this case, a defiant president who once claimed he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose any voters actually being forced to delete a racist post (after first defending it and trying to shuffle the blame onto a White House aide).

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And then everybody goes back to pretending the restraints that once limited this behavior still hold.

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They do not.

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Cruelty is no longer bad politics

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Take former President Ronald Reagan. In 1971—nine years before he assumed the presidency—he was recorded on tape laughing with President Richard Nixon and describing a United Nations delegation from Tanzania as “monkeys.” The remark remained hidden for decades.

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The National Archives eventually released the tape in 2000, but the racist language was redacted. When the full remarks were finally released in 2019, Reagan’s daughter, Patti Davis, tearfully took to the pages of the Washington Post to defend her father, claiming that the language was an aberration rather than evidence of how power actually spoke behind closed doors. (I beg to differ.)

\n\n\n\n

Evidently, past presidents who used racist language were clearly forced into apology, distance, or damage control. Trump mostly avoids these pressures, beyond deleting a post and refusing to apologize for it.

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So, yes, everyone understands that depicting the Obamas as apes is racist. And still, only 11 congressional Republicans could be bothered to condemn it. Trump hasn’t lost any standing in the GOP as a result of it.

\n\n\n\n

That’s where the real danger lives—not in Trump’s cruelty, and not even in his contempt for rules or law, but in the steady erosion of the political norms that once made certain behavior disqualifying for any politician, much less for the president. American institutions have now demonstrated a willingness to treat even this level of norm violation as politically survivable.

\n\n\n\n

Racist leaders make racist policies

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Once cruelty becomes politically survivable, the consequences do not remain confined to spicy internet discourse and barbs thrown between elected officials. They migrate into policy—and eventually into law.

\n\n\n\n

For decades, civil-rights law has recognized a basic reality: Discrimination doesn’t always announce itself with a slur or a white hood. Sometimes it shows up as a “facially neutral” policy—one that does not mention race on its face—that just so happens to keep producing racially unequal outcomes. This is known in legalese as “disparate impact.”

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The Supreme Court established the concept of disparate impact in Griggs v. Duke Power in 1971, which concerned the legality of requiring written intelligence-and skills-based tests that effectively precluded Black employees from advancing beyond low-level jobs. (Yes, there was actually a time the Supreme Court behaved as if it understood how racism works.)

\n\n\n\n

Trump has now taken aim at that doctrine. In April 2025, he issued an executive order that tells federal agencies to stop enforcing disparate impact liability wherever possible. An executive order can’t magically erase statutes or Supreme Court precedent. But it can signal how aggressively—or whether at all—the law will be enforced.

\n\n\n\n

Taken together with Trump’s assault on school and workplace diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives—which he tried to outlaw in a January 2025 executive order—a pattern begins to emerge. If Trump’s policies on disparate impact liability become reality, Black plaintiffs—facing the kind of housing or employment discrimination that is rarely confessed out loud—will struggle to prove discriminatory intent in court.

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This has obvious disadvantages for Black people. And it has a corollary advantage for white people, because white plaintiffs can point to diversity or equity programs as affirmative evidence of intentional discrimination against them. The result is a civil-rights framework turned inside out, one that makes inequality harder to challenge and white grievance easier to vindicate. Meanwhile, Trump and his allies insist this inversion is what fairness actually looks like.

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This is what consequence-free racism looks like once it moves from speech into the law. And it becomes harder to fight once it gets there.

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Reconstruction rides again

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This isn’t an abstract legal debate. It’s happening right now. Reconstruction-era civil-rights statutes—written to guarantee Black Americans the same rights as white citizens—are now being used in ways that make it easier for inequality to continue against Black Americans.

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Examples include legal efforts to shut down programs intended to remedy racial exclusion, such as the successful legal challenges to investment programs like Fearless Fund, created to address the historic exclusion of Black women entrepreneurs from venture capital, as well as the re c ent prosecution of Black journalists covering protest, like Don Lemon.

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Laws designed to dismantle white supremacy are being repurposed to police the people still targeted by it. Because in the United States, even the laws designed to fight white supremacy can eventually be repurposed to defend it, provided you wait long enough and hire enough lawyers.

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None of this is unprecedented, of course. After Reconstruction, the Constitution technically promised equality, while Jim Crow and the KKK made a mockery of it. American history is full of moments where rights existed on paper while disappearing everywhere else.

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What feels different during Trump’s presidency is not necessarily the racism. It’s the shrug.

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A meaningful slice of the electorate keeps rewarding his racist behavior. Political leaders keep accommodating it. Media institutions keep normalizing it. And democracy—supposedly—keeps functioning.

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Which brings us to the uncomfortable truth at the center of all this: American democracy has always depended on voluntary restraint. On powerful people choosing not to do the worst thing they were technically allowed to do.

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What the Trump era has revealed is how fragile that arrangement really is.

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Because once abandoning restraint and trafficking in open racism carries no real consequence, the guardrails don’t fail dramatically. They just stop existing. And when the guardrails are gone, the law does not remain neutral. It reorganizes itself around the new reality. If that new reality is old racism, the question stops being whether the system is once again bending toward white supremacy.

\n\n\n\n

The question is whether anything in the system still exists that can bend it back.

\n\n

Update, February 18, 2026: This article has been updated to clarify how executive orders are enforced.

The post When Racism Stops Carrying Consequences appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "When, Racism, Stops, Carrying, Consequences", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Dump-is-a-Racist-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/18/trump-racism-truth-social-consequences/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-19 10:46:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "160913", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Six Second Kiss", "title_slug": "the-six-second-kiss", "title_hash": "71dbf85caab590c9cfa217a2f836bff4", "summary": "How long do you share a kiss with your partner? \nThe post The Six Second Kiss appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

How long do you share a kiss with your partner?

The post The Six Second Kiss appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Six, Second, Kiss", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-six-second-kiss/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-19 03:08:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "160793", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Secrets to Getting Girls: Triggering Passion in Women", "title_slug": "secrets-to-getting-girls-triggering-passion-in-women", "title_hash": "a7ef583fc21f206b2988bc95844c8885", "summary": "Passion in women is not triggered just by a man being ‘high value’. A man needs MORE than this. He must be rare, exciting, and, above all, an ‘evaluator’.\nIf you want women to do things with you – that is, to:\n\n\nTake interest in you\n\n\nHang around you\n\n\nChase you\n\n\nOpen windows for you\n\n\nComply with you\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"triggering$ Passion in women is not triggered just by a man being ‘high value’. A man needs MORE than this. He must be rare, exciting, and, above all, an ‘evaluator’.

If you want women to do things with you – that is, to:

\n
Take interest in you
\n
\n
Hang around you
\n
\n
Chase you
\n
\n
Open windows for you
\n
\n
Comply with you

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Secrets, Getting, Girls:, Triggering, Passion, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/triggering-passion-in-women-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/secrets-getting-girls-triggering-passion-women", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-19 02:54:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "160794", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Make Your Texts to Girls ENGAGING", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-make-your-texts-to-girls-engaging", "title_hash": "8c3c59592c8f2773ba1c883d5b8ee8c3", "summary": "If your texts are bland, their responses will be bland. You may get NO response! How do you get girls responding easily? By writing more ENGAGING texts!\nI had a chance to review the first texts and follow-up texts a mentorship student has sent to a variety of women (met via both cold approach and dating apps) over the past year.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"write$ If your texts are bland, their responses will be bland. You may get NO response! How do you get girls responding easily? By writing more ENGAGING texts!

I had a chance to review the first texts and follow-up texts a mentorship student has sent to a variety of women (met via both cold approach and dating apps) over the past year.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Make, Your, Texts, Girls, ENGAGING", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/engaging-text-messages-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-make-your-texts-girls-engaging", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-19 02:54:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "160452", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Drives Her Ex’s Car Because I Couldn’t Afford To Buy Her One", "title_slug": "my-wife-drives-her-exs-car-because-i-couldnt-afford-to-buy-her-one", "title_hash": "dcce1346c7b1c0976a06f9267dee6115", "summary": "I saw Theresa when we were young. I was friends with her family, so I went to their house anytime I wanted. It was obvious I liked Theresa, but I …", "content": "

I saw Theresa when we were young. I was friends with her family, so I went to their house anytime I wanted. It was obvious I liked Theresa, but I couldn’t say it to her. Her sisters saw it and started calling her my wife. She smiled anytime they told her, “Your husband is coming.” To me, that was enough. We were very young. I was in SHS, and she was in junior high.

After SHS, I left town to attend the university and didn’t come home again for a very long time. I must admit that I forgot about her. I fell in love with others and made a few of them girlfriends. One day, when I was all grown and had a job, I went back home and saw Theresa, still very beautiful, but this time around she had a son. She had a son with a man who didn’t marry her.

We talked. The love was still burning fresh in my heart. I made several attempts to let her know that I loved her, but she didn’t catch the clue, or she did and simply ignored it. It was her elder sister who later told me Theresa was dating Francis, and they looked like they would get married. I told her, “It looks like I will never have your sister.” She answered, “You could have had her when we called her your wife, but you didn’t do anything.”

I was young and naive. Love wasn’t meant for people like me and her during that time. If we did fall in love, we wouldn’t know how to handle it and maybe let it burn us. I travelled back to my base but this time kept in touch with Theresa and her sisters. A year or so later, I was on the phone with Theresa when she told me she had broken up with Francis.

I asked, “I thought you two were getting married, so what happened?”

She told me Francis didn’t marry her because she had a child.

I knew it was time. The stars had aligned on my behalf, and I didn’t have any excuse to let it happen. One day I asked her, “I’m very free this weekend. Can you come and visit me?”

She got here on Friday evening, and that very evening I proposed to her. I didn’t assume she knew, or that the fact that she came to visit me meant anything. She said yes to my proposal, and for the first time in ages, we had a relationship.

We dated for a year and a few months and got married in 2018. The only problem we faced in the beginning was how she could leave her job there and come to stay with me. We started looking for a job here for her. It was becoming an uphill battle each day, so finally I told her to pack and come while we still looked for a job for her.

For a whole year, she didn’t get a job, and fortunately and unfortunately, she got pregnant while we were looking for one. Our child was only seven months old when she got pregnant again. Life was becoming harder because we relied heavily on only my income.

I couldn’t save, I couldn’t build anything meaningful, but I didn’t blame anyone. My wife got a job five years after marriage, when both kids could walk and call us by name.

When she got a job, I thought she was going to help the house, but no. Her money was for her, and my money was for the family. She wouldn’t use her money for anything in the house but would still ask me for money for her personal use because she’s my wife. We fought about this every day. Our marriage was slowly becoming a battleground instead of a place where love and peace lived. She said I had enough and had done it alone for five years, so why would I rely on her money all of a sudden when her money wasn’t anything to write home about?

Eight years later, we don’t own land or a business we can call our own, all because I have a wife who wouldn’t support the growth of the family.

My wife travelled back home for Christmas last year and left the kids here with me. She said she was going for a few days but ended up spending over a week. One day an old friend called and said, “Come and see what your wife is doing here. It’s not fine at all. It even taints your marriage.” I asked what the problem was, and he said, “Do you know your wife has been driving Francis’s car ever since she came to town?”

I asked, “My wife? Does she know how to drive?” He said, “Oh, you don’t know? She drives Francis’s car, and I’ve seen her driving while Francis sits next to her twice. Everyone is talking. It’s looking some way, to be honest.”

I called her elder sister, who was also home for Christmas. I asked if it was true, and she sighed. She asked me to be patient because the family had been handling the issue. I said, “I just wanted to know if it was true. Thank you for confirming it.”

I called my wife and asked whose car she had been driving and since when she learned how to drive. She told me it was Francis who taught her how to drive when they were dating. “And you went home to drive his car? The same Francis who wouldn’t marry you because you had a child?”

“What is wrong with that? He realized I needed the car to do my rounds and freely offered it to me. He was rather helping me, so what’s wrong with that?”

I asked her to come home. She said her son needed her around, so she would come only when her son had had enough of her. Later I learned she sent the car back to him, but the impression had already been created, and to me, it was more than an impression. It was a stab in the heart of our marriage.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

When they were together in the car, where did they go? She said because she was using the car, she had to go and pick Francis when he needed her to. Just imagine. Finally, she told me the fact that I couldn’t afford a car for her didn’t mean she shouldn’t drive. This hurts me to date, and our already scarred marriage is now walking on a limp.

I feel like it’s time to walk away. I made a mistake marrying her in the first place, but we have kids. I love them with all my being and will do anything for them, which is the reason I’m still married to a woman I should have let go even before the new year arrived.

—Brethren

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I’m becoming more uncomfortable in my marriage because of how much my wife shares on social media. I didn’t have any problem with that when we were dating. She liked to post our outings and shared little stories about certain things we had done together. That was okay. It wasn’t too deep, and it wasn’t too far, until we got married late last year.

These days, everything we do in the house finds its way onto her social media feed. The food she cooked that I didn’t eat. The little things I say for fun. Even when I go out and don’t come home early, she posts a story about it.

We’ve talked about it. She tells me it’s what keeps her going, and she has fun with the comments people usually share on her posts. I think she’s doing too much. What is a photo of us in bed with the caption, “When your husband sleeps when all you want is a cuddle,” doing on her timeline? And someone will comment, “Wake him up to fulfill his duties,” as if all I do is sleep in this marriage.

I don’t want her to feel like I’m taking her fun away or that I’m being too rigid since we got married. She loves to share her life, and that’s fine, but can she leave certain details out? She asks me, “What details should I leave out?” And I’m like, “Just don’t go too deep.” She asks, “What’s too deep?” And I think she should know by this time what’s too deep.

When I’m late from work, she would post a photo of her sad face and say, “How life looks when he’s gone for years and not back from work.” Should the world know your husband doesn’t come home early after work? Isn’t that too deep information to be shared on her timeline? I even want to create a fake account and one day comment, “Are you the only woman on earth who’s married?”

Everybody on her timeline knows about my life—my favorite food, what I said when I was angry, my little jokes that are not funny. I’m a whole book on her timeline that people read and share funny comments about. So I’m careful what I say or do around her because it might find its way onto her feed. When something bad happens, I have to tell her, “Don’t let your online advisers hear of this.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

How deep is too deep? I don’t know, but I see deep when I see it. How do we handle this situation so it doesn’t become an albatross in our marriage? I don’t want to be the reason she can’t do what makes her happy, but then what’s the fine line between her happiness and my unhappiness?

—Ben

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School was never for me. I knew it from the very beginning. So about four years ago, I made a decision. I stepped away and decided to try business instead.

That decision is what led me to her.

Instead of focusing on building my customer base and growing sales, I found myself spending more time learning how to win her heart. And honestly, if you had seen her, you would have done the same. I studied her like a subject I wanted to pass with distinction. Within no time, things started looking promising. Her feelings were clearly growing, and at the same time, my business was doing very well.

Life felt like it was opening up for me.

After high school, we got pregnant. I say we because we truly carried it together. We were young. She was eighteen, and I was nineteen. Things felt uncertain and heavy, but we had enough money to take care of the pregnancy without asking anyone for help. We talked about whether to keep the baby or let it go, but when we asked ourselves why we should let it go, we could not find a real reason. Looking back now, I realize how childish and unprepared we were.

When it was time to inform her family, I went myself to announce that I was the father of the child. My own family, however, was not told immediately. That part was intentional. I was afraid of disappointing them. Just months before, I had been their pride, bringing in money from my business. Suddenly, I was about to become a father, and they did not even know I was sexually active.

She stayed with her grandparents at first. By the time my parents found out, she was already seven months pregnant. They were angry, shocked, and full of questions I could not answer. That was how Anissa came to live with us.

Her pregnancy lasted ten months. Seven of those months were spent with her grandparents, and the last three were with me. During those three months, we truly carried the pregnancy together. I was always by her side, every day, except on Saturdays when I personally delivered goods to my clients, and Sundays when I went to church and played football afterward.

Looking back, I realize I was selfish with her. I wanted her attention completely. I did not think about how much she needed time for herself or even time to just be a mother. I only saw her as mine.

Even before childbirth, I was possessive. After childbirth, it became worse. When men looked at her or called her, I became angry. I was violent. If I am being honest, the violence had always been there, but after the baby came, it intensified. I could not handle my insecurity. I thought that providing everything for her meant she should not need anything or anyone else. What I failed to understand was that happiness is not something you can provide for someone. It is something they create for themselves.

When we walked on the streets and men looked at her, my mind would burn. Even her friends became my enemies in my head. We fought during the day. We fought at night. Our home became a battlefield.

Eventually, we reached a point where neither of us was happy.

Around that same time, my business started collapsing. It did not happen slowly. It felt like watching something fall and shatter before your eyes. I withdrew into myself. I felt useless. I felt like I was losing my identity because in my mind, a man is defined by what he can provide. When I could no longer even put food on the table, the shame ate me alive.

She wanted to support me. She really did. But my pride could not accept it. She started selling fruits, and later we did it together. Still, it was not enough to meet our needs. I could see her growing tired and frustrated. Her anger increased day by day.

Eventually, she said she wanted to go back to her family. At that point, I was also exhausted, emotionally and mentally. I did not stop her. She packed her things and left. I locked the door behind her, not because I was tired of her, but because I was tired of feeling like I had failed as a man.

She left, but the love did not disappear.

We did not say “I love you” anymore, but our actions still spoke. She sent me money when I needed help, and I did the same for her. When life became heavy for her, she would call me, and I would go and sit with her, listening quietly, offering advice without any romantic words.

I genuinely wish her well. She is beautiful, hardworking, and she deserves everything good in this world, including a good man.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

We try to keep our distance most of the time, but the truth is we have a child together, so we can never completely stay out of each other’s lives. Somehow, life always brings us back into contact, whether we plan it or not.

I have not really moved on. Not because I am still hoping we will get back together, but because I am still trying to fix myself. I am trying to rebuild my life slowly, to become a better man, so I never go through that kind of experience again.

Yes, she left during one of the hardest periods of my life. But if I am being honest with myself, I know I played a big part in it. I loved her, but I loved her in the wrong way. She stopped being my partner and became something I was trying to hold onto like a possession. I was too possessive. Too insecure. I thought that as long as I was providing money, that was enough.

When the money disappeared, everything else I had been hiding behind also fell apart. My anger showed. My insecurity showed. The kind of man I had become during that time pushed her away more than poverty ever could.

So I do not blame her anymore.

Instead, I always ask people this simple question. If you were in her shoes, would you have stayed, or would you have left too?

—Reindolf

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I met my husband some years ago when I was working in Ghana. We dated for about two years before I travelled abroad. When I returned to Ghana, we got married. Because of the nature of his job, he preferred to stay back in Ghana and visit me frequently. At the time, that arrangement didn’t bother me. I trusted him, and I believed we were building something solid across distance.

We are now in our fourth year of marriage, and it was only last December that my world cracked open. I discovered that my so-called husband had been cheating on me, not with one or two women, but with at least five different ladies. I didn’t hear rumours. I didn’t guess. I saw the evidence myself. I read the chats. Every line felt like a slap. It was painful to the point of being unbearable.

What hurts even more is that I genuinely don’t understand what he was looking for. I am a beautiful woman. I’m intelligent, hardworking, and independent. I don’t pressure him financially. I work for my own money and still support him and his businesses whenever I can. I don’t nag. I don’t monitor him. I’ve always believed that marriage shouldn’t feel like a prison, so I never had issues with him going out with friends for drinks or socialising. I gave him freedom because I trusted him.

That trust is what makes everything feel so foolish now.

On his few visits, he often claimed he needed to travel home for a funeral and would leave early. I later realised those trips weren’t about funerals at all. They were carefully planned meetups with other women. Every excuse now feels dirty in hindsight.

His family has spoken to me. They have pleaded on his behalf. He himself has apologised. But I’m stuck in a place I don’t recognise. I don’t know if forgiveness is something I can genuinely offer, not because I want to punish him, but because something inside me feels permanently damaged.

Some of the messages I read still echo in my head. The way he spoke to those women, calling one of them “the love of my life.” He forgot my birthday completely but remembered the birthday of his ex-girlfriend. I keep asking myself how that happens in a marriage. How does a man forget his wife but remember another woman?

Last year, when I visited Ghana, he went out one night saying he was meeting friends and returned around 1 a.m. I later realised he was meeting women. Before anyone asks why I didn’t go with him, I had travelled with our six-month-old baby. I couldn’t be out late with a child. While I was home caring for our baby, he was out living another life.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I truly believe that when your partner cheats on you, it breaks something deep inside. It makes you question yourself, even when you know logically that you did nothing wrong. It creates a quiet insecurity that sits in your chest and refuses to leave. I find myself replaying conversations, moments, and decisions, wondering where I failed, even though I know his choices were his alone.

Now, when he calls, his voice doesn’t comfort me. It irritates me. It makes me angry. If not for our child, I don’t think I would answer his calls at all. Motherhood has forced me to pause where I would have walked away without looking back.

Looking back, so many things now make sense. Him guarding his phone, the secrecy, the late nights, the sudden changes in behaviour. All the signs were there. I just trusted too much to see them clearly.

I’m not writing this because I want sympathy or validation. I’m writing because I’m confused. I’m hurt. I’m standing at a crossroads I never imagined myself at. I don’t know what the right decision is. All I know is that the marriage I thought I had no longer exists in the form I believed in.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

If anyone thinks this pain is easy to navigate, it isn’t. It’s lonely. It’s heavy. And right now, I’m just trying to understand how to move forward without losing myself in the process.

—Amanda

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I keep checking my wife’s phone for the last six months. Not a single day passes without me secretly going through her phone. Each night, I get disappointed because I don’t find anything, but my gut feeling tells me she deletes her messages. I keep searching, hoping one day I might just be lucky and find what I’m looking for.

How did we get here?

My wife’s work takes a lot of her time, so sometimes she comes home very late. I didn’t suspect anything until one late night when I saw a car parked behind the wall of our house. I didn’t think much of it because it could have been any car. Several minutes later, the light inside the car turned on, and I saw my wife’s face in the car.

I quickly got out of the room and stepped outside to see who that was and why they were bringing my wife home late at night. By the time I got down to the ground floor, the car had moved, and my wife was already inside the compound. I asked her, “Who brought you home?”

I was not angry or harsh in my tone. “Who brought you home?” She answered, “Me? Were you expecting someone to bring me home? I came home by myself.” I said, “Ah, I was upstairs when I saw you inside a car.” She responded, “A car? Which car? I just got here and didn’t see any car here.”

I went out and checked. You could see fresh tyre prints on the ground, but my wife denied ever seeing a car or coming from inside one. I opened my mouth and watched her while she smiled and walked inside the house. I even questioned my sanity. So that very night, I picked up her phone and, for the first time in our marriage, went through it. I didn’t see anything, not even from a guy. I’ve done that religiously for six months and still found no evidence.

I can swear before a shrine that the face I saw was my wife’s face. The silhouette belonged to the woman I’ve shared my bed with for five years and whose naked figure I’ve seen for so many years.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

My happiness in this marriage is stolen while she struts and walks around like a free bird. Six months of sleepless nights. Six months of gauging her breath to see if she’s completely gone. Six months of sleeping with one eye open. What else should I do to catch a cheating wife?

—Freddie

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When a deadly virus spreads through a community, routine health care, including reproductive health care, may suffer.

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In North Carolina, the COVID-19 pandemic reshaped how and when residents got abortion care in unexpected ways, new research shows.

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A team of University of North Carolina researchers tracked abortions in the state between March 2020, when the World Health Organization declared a global coronavirus pandemic, and December 2021. They specifically evaluated impacts on reproductive health care among Latina patients.

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The resulting peer-reviewed study, published in the Women’s Health Issues journal in December 2025, found that there was no spike in abortion care in the first month of COVID-19 being declared a global pandemic. But as the pandemic continued, the number of abortions began to climb.

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“Despite all of the barriers that were in place during the pandemic, people in North Carolina were still able to obtain abortions,” said the paper’s lead author, Marissa Velarde, who is now a post-doctoral research fellow at San Diego State University. “And in fact, the number of abortions increased.”

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That increase in abortions, which occurred between April 2020 and December 2021, was more pronounced among Latina-identifying women, who had 6.3 more abortions per month than they did in March 2020. The white women who served as a comparison group for the research saw 4.1 more abortions per month between April 2020 and December 2021.

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The study also found an increase in medication abortion care and a decrease in abortions after the first trimester.

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Rewire News Group spoke with Velarde about what the COVID-19 pandemic revealed about abortion access—and how public health officials and policymakers can better prepare for the next public health emergency.

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The following conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

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What does the study tell you about why or how patients accessed abortion during the COVID-19 pandemic?

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The literature on family planning during the COVID-19 pandemic has indicated that people’s pregnancy intentions really changed due to the economic and social changes happening during COVID-19. And because of that, abortion increased—across the country, really—because people had more financial constraints and their systems of support just weren’t there anymore.

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This is particularly true for people who are marginalized. In my study, I really focused on comparing Latina patients to white patients. And you can see that even though abortion was increasing for both white patients and Latina patients, Latina patients saw a much steeper incline. The rate of increase was much greater for Latina patients who received abortions in North Carolina.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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To what do you attribute that difference?

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Prior research has indicated that women of color and people of color, in general, were impacted by the pandemic much greater than white, affluent patients. There are a number of reasons for that. One of them, for example, is that Latinas are more likely to work in service industry jobs. So they were more affected by the pandemic because they didn’t have work.

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So I think that’s one of the reasons for the steeper increase. …

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At the beginning, we all thought we would be home for a couple of weeks. We didn’t think we’d be home for months, or for some people, even a year.

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I think women started to realize that they had to deal with their impending [economic] situation. A lot of women didn’t have the economic or financial means to continue their pregnancies, so there was an increase in abortions.

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I also compared procedural and medication abortions. There was a huge jump in medication abortions(Editor’s note: Velarde’s research found that 64 percent of pandemic-era North Carolina abortions used medication, up from 43 percent pre-pandemic.) … That’s another reason for the increase. Health facilities were able to see a lot more patients [for medication abortion] than they normally were able to before the COVID-19 pandemic.

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You also saw a drop in abortions that occurred after the first trimester. What do you think explains that decrease?

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There are a couple of factors at play here.

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Patients were able to make their decisions a lot faster during the pandemic. Before the pandemic, a patient might have taken their time trying to decide whether or not they wanted to have an abortion. But because of the precarity of COVID-19, it seems that patients were much more eager to make a decision because they felt [they were] in a place of instability.

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And on top of that, they were able to have their abortions earlier, as indicated by the huge increase in medication abortions.

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The second piece to that is that there’s a specific demographic that is often associated with abortions in later pregnancy—and that’s adolescents. We saw that there was a decrease in adolescent abortions in general. …

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That is because their social lives surround school. And because of the pandemic stay-at-home order, [teens] weren’t having social lives. They weren’t convening with friends. And so they weren’t getting pregnant. And I think that was another driver of the decrease in the proportion of abortions after the first trimester.

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What can your research teach us about abortion care during pandemics?

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We absolutely have to consider abortion an essential health service. … In North Carolina, you still cannot have medication abortion dispensed remotely. You have to come in person to do it. I do think that there is a need to eliminate that stipulation.

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There are states that [allow for telehealth abortion] and patients can keep themselves safe. And health-care providers don’t have to interact with more people, thereby keeping themselves and future patients safer from viral illnesses.

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Is there anything else important for RNG readers to know?

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My study was before Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization came down. And I do think if we were to have [another] pandemic, that intersection of pandemic with Dobbs could potentially have devastating effects on access to abortion.

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[That] further amplifies the need for telehealth, for medication abortion, and … [for] shield laws for providers who continue to provide medication abortion for patients that are in ban states.

The post What the COVID-19 Pandemic Revealed About Abortion Access—Research appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, the, COVID-19, Pandemic, Revealed, About, Abortion, Access—Research", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Covid-QA-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/17/what-the-covid-19-pandemic-revealed-about-abortion-access-research/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-18 06:58:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "160068", "lang_id": "1", "title": "“I Can Never Call A Woman, The Love Of My Life” — Didi-Omah Hit Hard On Love", "title_slug": "i-can-never-call-a-woman-the-love-of-my-life-didi-omah-hit-hard-on-love", "title_hash": null, "summary": "I can never call a woman, the love of my life, because God is the creator of my life and he deserves my first love. Check out in Revelation of the Bible, I think from chapter two. I can not call a woman my strength, I can never call a woman or a man, my joy. The Lord is my strength and my joy. Human change but Adonay doesn't change. Man is unfaithful but Jesus Christ remains faithful. Woman can deny you but God will never forsake you. I cannot call anyone, my heart, my breathe — tufiakwa!!!", "content": "

I can never call a woman, the love of my life, because God is the creator of my life and he deserves my first love. Check out in Revelation of the Bible, I think from chapter two. I can not call a woman my strength, I can never call a woman or a man, my joy. The Lord is my strength and my joy. Human change but Adonay doesn't change. Man is unfaithful but Jesus Christ remains faithful. Woman can deny you but God will never forsake you. I cannot call anyone, my heart, my breathe — tufiakwa!!!

\r\n

Executive, I cannot rely on human be it a woman or a man because if I do, I am heading to frustration and disappointment. I can call my woman, my wife — my crown because I am a king and without her, my crown, my kingship is not complete. I may call my wife, my excellence because she is royal, heavy with dignity. I call my woman, my beloved — because in her I found love that birth my generation to the world.

\r\n

I can call the mother of my children,

\r\n

my dove — to calm her, makes her feel tenderly loved. Executive, I can call the sister of my body, my divine — to elevates her spiritually, because she is God-sent to me. I can call my wife, my unique — to secures her heart, makes her feel irreplaceable. Because no lady by God's grace can take her place in my heart. I can call my wife, my helper — because she is my assistant in home building and assisting me on the other side.

\r\n

I can call my woman, my flesh — because she is the flesh of my flesh, she is the bone of my bone. Song of Solomon revealed to us, the best names to give to our lover that will not counter the attributes of God. God forbid for me to attribute names I should render to God to a woman. God forbid I should give the thanks and gifts, I should give to God to any man. You are falling in love, why won't your heart breaks when the person just shift small from you. What a foolishness?

\r\n

From Warren Buffett, Others, and from the Bible — what I have discovered is loving and not falling in love. For God so loved the world.... Executive, not God falling in love with the world. That you may love one another as I have loved you, that was what Jesus Christ said. Husband love your wife as yourself. Let brotherly love continue.... Should I continue. So tell me, where is falling in love, coming from.

\r\n

Small silence from your alleged lover, you start feeling lonely, cheated and moody. Executive, you are an executive for Christ's sake. Don't let the confusion of the world control you. There is love, love is real, love is divine. So there is love. Most people are in lust, that is why they are lost, and you can never find them. You can never be lost in love. Never will you be loved and be lost. Only when you are in lust in disguise as love, that you will be lost. When you love, you grow and remain your original self.

\r\n

Executive, most people have not studied any book on relationships and marriages. They just jumped into relationship from the words of their friends or trends on social media. “Ehh! Chinaza, e get one lady wey dey always look at me”. Oya listen to Augustine's response, “she likes you....”, the rest is a story. And boom! They are in a relationship that is not leading to anywhere. I keep saying this, and thanks to God that many wise preachers and teachers do the same. Executive, because you are pregnant for Didi-Omah does not make you his legal and traditional wife.

\r\n

Let me draw near small, most people view of love is from Nigerian movies — when a world of only five people, how will they not love quickly. What a funny script right. Most people view for love are from Korean movies, Philippines movies, etc. What I am saying is that romantic movies are the source of view for many people about love. Sorry for them!

\r\n

Let me put it well for proper understanding. Because you as a lady, you are pregnant for a man, that does not automatically turns you to his wife. So stop deceiving yourself. And you as a man because she gave birth to your child, does not automatically turns her to your legal and traditional wife. Do the needful. I am pregnant for him, is not the gateway to his name. The truth is that, do not marry the wrong person because you are the mother or father of their child. Most young people out of ignorance and lack of fatherly love entered into this trap.

\r\n

Researches have shown that out of the total number of misbehaving and irresponsible ladies, even those showing nonsense on social media, posting videos with sex related text. 90% are those without fatherly love and guidance. They claimed mother is all, but yet with their mother, only few make up the women that command in the society. Lack of fatherly love, make a girl child to desperately seek a boy's arm for love. Quote me anywhere, thanks to Jesus Christ, I am a global citizen and a man of authority. So you are free to take me to even a court, by God's grace, my lawyers will represent me.

\r\n

Stop playing around, take responsibility for your life. Executive, stop attributing names and titles that should be to Adonay to a woman or to that man. You will regret it, when your so-called lover starts showing you the dark side. Praise your partner or lover with earthy attributes and with wisdom, not with what should be rendered to God. Thanks to Jesus Christ. Blessed Are You O' Adonay.

\r\n

(Businessman, Industrialist, Investor)

", "keywords": "", "user_id": "115", "category_id": "27", "image_big": "uploads/images/202512/image_750x_6941845a291a1.jpg", "image_mid": "uploads/images/202512/image_750x415_6941845b077af.jpg", "image_small": "uploads/images/202512/image_100x75_6941845bc9fce.jpg", "image_slider": "uploads/images/202512/image_650x433_6941845c85950.jpg", "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "0", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "0", "post_url": null, "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-17 07:20:21", "username": "Didi-Omah Diary", "user_slug": "didiomahdiary", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "159777", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Introduced My Christian Friend to My Crush It Became My Biggest Mistake", "title_slug": "i-introduced-my-christian-friend-to-my-crush-it-became-my-biggest-mistake", "title_hash": "bf4b090260f258134073ee9d04061a16", "summary": "Back in my second year, I went through something that almost finished me. Some girl broke my heart badly. I will not go into the full story now, but just …", "content": "

Back in my second year, I went through something that almost finished me.

Some girl broke my heart badly. I will not go into the full story now, but just know it was serious. My heart would beat like it wanted to jump out of my chest. My mind was always in a dark place. I could not focus on anything. At some point, I honestly felt like I would not survive it.

But somehow, I did.

And when I finally came out of that phase, I made a strong promise to myself. I said it with pain and confidence at the same time.

“Love is a scam. I will never love again.”

Famous last words.

By the time I reached my final year, things started looking different around me. Everywhere I turned, my colleagues were pairing up. People were not just graduating with degrees, they were graduating with partners. You would see couples walking around campus already planning their futures.

I looked at myself one day and thought, so why not me too?

That was how I decided that maybe it was time to try again.

Now, context is important. I was a serious member of the Christian Union, what we called CU. I was also very active in the Development Studies Students Association. So in my mind, if I was going to date, it had to be someone from one of those circles.

My heart was very clear on this. I wanted to honor God. I wanted a relationship that would please Him. So the person had to be someone who truly loved Christ too.

That decision pushed me to join a Bible study group within CU.

And that was where I met Jackie.

She was beautiful, yes, but it was not just about her looks. She had a very calm spirit. She was kind. She spoke about God with so much passion that you could see it in her eyes. Anytime she contributed during Bible discussions, she did it with so much sincerity.

From the very first day, I noticed her.

So I started making sure I showed up regularly. After church, during midweek services, I always found small ways to talk to her. Sometimes I would buy snacks and give her. Nothing big, just small gestures to show I cared.

Before long, our conversations started stretching into late nights. We would talk about everything, God, life, dreams, fears. And honestly, neither of us wanted those conversations to end.

Our friendship grew naturally, and feelings slowly started growing too.

Around that same period, I hosted my friend John. He had gotten an opportunity with a mission organization and was preparing to travel as a missionary. He needed somewhere to stay for a few days while sorting out his documents, so he asked if he could stay with me.

I did not even hesitate. That was my guy. I said yes immediately.

One day, I introduced him to two of my Bible study friends, Jackie and Elizabeth. John and I were very close, so I even told him about my feelings for Jackie. I told him plainly, “My mind dey for her.”

I trusted him fully.

Then something unexpected happened.

Without telling me anything, John went behind my back and started pursuing Elizabeth. He asked her to be his girlfriend quietly. I only found out later through their body language. The way they behaved around each other made it obvious.

When I finally asked him, he admitted it. They were already a couple.

At that point, everything still seemed fine. He was with Elizabeth, and I was getting closer to Jackie. Everybody had their lane.

Jackie started coming over to my place often. We would cook together, talk for hours about God, life, and our future. At some point, we were even joking about names for our future children and the kind of life we wanted to build.

She would sometimes stay late into the night, but one thing I was very firm about was purity. I made it clear from the beginning that sex before marriage was not an option for me. She respected that, and we kept things that way.

Then I started noticing small things.

John was always texting both Jackie and Elizabeth late at night. At first, I ignored it. I told myself he was just being friendly.

But as time went on, his closeness with Jackie started feeling strange. The way he spoke to her, the way he looked at her, it did not feel normal.

One evening, the tension inside me became too much. I asked him directly about his relationship with her. He brushed it off quickly and said they were just friends.

But deep down, I knew something was wrong.

Then Jackie herself started mentioning John a lot. She would complain about him, saying he was selfish and unreliable. The way she spoke about him, I could tell there was something deeper there.

So one day, I asked her straight, “What exactly is going on between you and John?”

She kept quiet for a moment.

She said to me that she and John had actually been secretly seeing each other behind my back. While I was sincerely trying to build something with her, he had also been pursuing her quietly.

Worse still, he had been telling her lies about me. He told her that I was actually interested in Elizabeth, while he was the one who truly cared about her.

At the same time, he told Elizabeth that I was the one chasing Jackie.

He had played all of us.

This was someone I called my brother. Someone I trusted enough to bring into my home. Someone I shared my heart with.

And he still played me.

I remember just sitting there, trying to process everything. It felt unreal. The level of manipulation, the lies, the double life he was living while smiling in my face.

That experience taught me something I will never forget.

Not everyone who calls you a friend truly has good intentions. Some people are only close to you because it benefits them.

Now I move differently. I trust carefully. I observe more.

Some friendships teach you about love. Others teach you about betrayal. But every single one leaves you with a lesson.

I learned that human hearts can be very unpredictable. But God is steady. He does not play games. He does not deceive. He remains faithful even when people fail you.

And that is where my trust is now.

–Gabby

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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It’s a small world, they say. I didn’t understand this statement until a few weeks ago when my sister called me. She said, “You can’t believe what happened. There’s this lady I’ve been working with on her engagement dress. Today she showed me her husband, and guess who I saw?”

I took a deep breath and answered, “Who did you see? Is he anyone we both know?” She said, “I say guess. I know you’ll get it wrong, but just try.”

My mind started wandering over all the men I knew who could be getting married. Before I could mention a name, a call came through. I checked, and it was Aboagye, my boyfriend. I told my sister, “Aboagye is calling. Let me talk to him and get back to you.” She responded, “It’s Aboagye. He’s the one getting married to the lady.”

That was cold. My heart stopped beating. I kept repeating, “Aboagye? Aboagye? You mean my own Aboagye? Aboagye?” My sister kept repeating, “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, he’s the one I saw. To be sure, I asked the lady about the name of her man, and she said Aboagye.”

My sister owns a shop in Takoradi. She’s a big name when it comes to dressmaking, especially traditional engagement wear. We are in Cape Coast. We’ve lived all our lives here. I met Aboagye here in Cape Coast three years ago, and we started dating. We’ve had our ups and downs as lovers, but nothing huge enough to break a heart.

I suspected he had someone else in the early days of our relationship. He wouldn’t take calls before me and wouldn’t answer certain calls when we were together. I didn’t keep quiet. I asked questions. He told me, “It’s my ex I told you about. She’s still fighting to keep the relationship going. She’s trying to involve my parents. It’s the reason I take the calls away from you. You might not understand something or take it wrongly.”

After that explanation, anytime he did that, he came back to tell me it was his ex. He told me his ex was in Nigeria working but ended up cheating on him, and he found out. The lady had been begging him for over a year for a comeback, and he wasn’t agreeing to that.

I even jovially asked him, “Then your family won’t like me ooo. Since they are all supporting her, how would they accept the fact that I’m the one you left your ex for?” He assured me that wouldn’t be a problem at all, so I shouldn’t worry.

I don’t worry in love, no matter what. I give myself away totally so in the end I can pat myself on the back and say I gave it all, but it didn’t happen. I asked my sister, “Are you sure of what you’re saying?” She answered, “The lady’s name is Emelia. Ask him if I’m lying.”

I breathed in and breathed out loudly to allow the trouble to settle in my spirit. I still didn’t believe my sister. I hoped I would meet him and he would tell me it was all lies. I called him. I said, “I missed your call.” He answered, “What guy were you talking to that you didn’t answer my call?” I told him, “I was on the phone with Bernice.” He said, “Oh, Bernice? That reminds me, I will be going to Takoradi this weekend. Will you give me a message for her?”

My heart started beating faster. I’d dated him for three years, but never had he mentioned Takoradi to me. He would travel to Kumasi, where he said his family was. He would travel to Accra. He would say Sunyani. Never in his speech did he mention Takoradi. So I asked him calmly, “What’s taking you to Takoradi?” He fumbled at first and then said, “A friend of mine is getting married there. He says I should come and measure my suit.”

So I called my sister later and asked her, “Are you sure of what you’re saying? He says his friend is rather getting married, and he’s coming to take his measurements for his suit.” My sister screamed out of shock and then asked why I was doubting her. She told me she would take a photo of the lady and send it to me when she came around. She did just that.

Aboagye went to Takoradi and came back. I showed him the photo of the lady and asked, “Is she the one you’re getting married to?” His face changed immediately, and then he forced a smile. “Me, getting married to who? Are you insane? Where did you get this information from?” I answered, “She’s sewing her kente at Bernice’s place. You still insist it’s a lie?”

Then he let himself fall on the chair. He buried his face in his palms. He said it was family pressure. The lady’s family has money, so his family didn’t allow him to break up with her, so he’s doing the wedding because his family said he should. “And you’ve hidden this from me from the day you agreed to do it until now? You see, it’s a small world. You’ll marry for us to see.”

Three days later, I was talking to his elder brother. A few days after that, a man called and said he was the uncle. Another day, a lady called and said she was his sister. I had dated this man all these years and hadn’t heard from any of these people, but they called to beg on his behalf and asked me to name whatever I wanted as compensation. Bernice said, “Tell them you want a house in heaven, right next to God’s mansion. What nonsense.”

Bernice wanted to bring the lady in. She gave me her number and asked me to tell her everything. I haven’t been able to call the lady. I feel she’s just a woman like me and a victim just like me. I shouldn’t spoil her heart before her big day. Aside from that, she’s not the one who owes me an explanation. It’s Aboagye. I’ve told him I would destroy his wedding. I’ve told him I would come and display there. I’ve given him all the threats in this world, but I know I can’t do any of that. I’m only buying myself time to heal, which I know will take forever, but that’s okay.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

He’s getting married this Saturday. He knows I will come there with men. He calls and cries to beg. He’s still telling me he would compensate me if that’s what I want. His mother was the last person to call me. She said, “If I were you, the world would have heard about it, but the fact that you haven’t said anything shows you love your dignity. Fight him by all means, but please don’t spoil it for us. It’s not only for him. It’s for us, the family, and the lady’s family too—friends and a lot more. Don’t hurt us for the mistake he did.”

I’ve prayed for myself. God will be the judge, but I will never forgive him.

—Bombo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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Life happened, and it happened in a way I didn’t expect. I lost everything due to a bad investment. Every bit of money I’d saved for now and my future disappeared one day because of just one bad decision. I was broken into pieces. I walked over a bridge, and the voice in my head said, “Jump.” I crossed the inner road, and the voice said, “A car is coming. Just wait a little, and all this pain will end.”

I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I looked into the sky and saw hope for a better day. I still had my job I could earn from. I still had friends I could ask for help from. I still had my girlfriend, whose love kept me grounded. The world wasn’t a bad place after all. But when troubles come, they come in droves. Mom started getting sick. Dad needed money. My siblings’ fees had to be paid. They all looked up to me.

So I took loans from people. It got to a point where no one was willing to help because I hadn’t paid what I already owed them. I ran to my girlfriend and asked for help. I asked her to give me GHC10,000 and said I would pay it back in five months. I knew it was going to be hard to pay, but I needed the money. She was skeptical at first, but slowly I was able to convince her to give me the money.

The first month, I wasn’t able to pay her the installment I promised. It turned into a fight. She was scared she had lost her money. I promised she hadn’t. I gave her my word that I was going to pay and even pay interest on it.

The next month, I paid something small. She wasn’t happy, but she took it as half a loaf, which is always better than none. Life didn’t stop being hard, so it was difficult to honor the promise. I started betting, hoping that would be the way to get the help I needed. I lost the little that I had. One bad decision after another, until later I decided to stay disciplined.

God being so good, I started paying all those I owed and started paying my girlfriend too. It took over a year, but I was able to pay. The day the last amount hit her MoMo, she asked me, “You promised to pay interest. When is that one coming?”

I asked her to give me another month. I was able to pay her GHC2,000 extra. Right after that payment, she sent a message: “I can’t continue this relationship anymore. I’m tired. I think I need rest.”

She blocked me after sending the message. I had to go to her place and ask why. She said she was tired, so I should give her a break. When I asked how long the break would last, she told me she didn’t know. I thought I had done my best, so why was she leaving me? Why was she leaving me when life was getting better?

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Erica Sarpomah, if you’re reading this, which I know you will, please don’t leave me. Life is getting better. You’ve suffered with me, and I want you to be the one I enjoy life with. Please say something. Kindly unblock me, and let’s talk again.

I was owing my girl a lot of money. I finished paying, and she left me. I don’t know how to feel about it.

—Justice

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******

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After our wedding, my husband’s finances went south. And I’m not talking about a small bump. I’m talking about the kind of fall that breaks the camel’s back, the kind that bruises a man’s ego so deep he doesn’t know how to talk about it. That one.

One morning I woke up to the realization that my husband could not afford to put down money for feeding in our home. Just let that sit for a moment. Here was a man who had stood tall on our wedding day, who had made promises and meant every single one of them, now unable to provide a basic meal. While he is out here trying to gain his feet back, I am carrying the house on my shoulders. And I don’t say that with bitterness. I say it because it’s the truth. We are a team. When one is down, the other holds.

We managed for a while. Stretched every coin, cut every corner, prayed every prayer. But then rent due caught up with us. We looked left. We looked right. We looked everywhere for help, even looked to the hills as the scripture says. But nothing. No one could help us. So I made a decision. I found a way for us to move back into my mother’s house. The plan was simple. Stay there, gather enough, and pack out as soon as we could stand on our own again.

I’m sure it buried him inside. A man moving into his mother in law’s house with his wife because he can’t afford rent? I know what that does to a person. I saw it in his eyes every night. But this is what we could do for now. And I believed then, as I believe now, that this season would pass.

But ever since we moved into my mother’s house, my younger sister has taken it upon herself to make life hard for my husband. And I mean hard. Whatever you have seen in the movies about toxic family dynamics, whatever drama you have watched and thought “that’s too much,” it is happening in my home right now. My home is on fire.

My dear husband tries. God knows he tries. He tries to compensate by buying little toiletries for the house, things you wouldn’t even expect a man to notice. Toothpaste when we run out. Sugar for the tea. Small small things. He even helps my siblings with money here and there when he has it. My sister? Oh yes, she accepts every single penny handed over to her. She takes it with a smile and then goes right back to disrespecting him.

I’ve confronted her so many times I’ve lost count. And most of those times ended in petty squabbles that went nowhere. She twists things, plays victim, makes me feel like I’m the one causing trouble. One would think I could report her to my mom, right? That’s what normal families do. Well, I once overheard my sister and my mother saying unkind things about my husband. Sitting right there in the kitchen like I didn’t exist in the next room. I heard my mother say, “Oh, that one too is not a man.” I heard my sister laugh and say, “Look at his bowl of food. Yet no money.” They said the meanest things about a man they once pretended to adore. And I’m still not over it. Even worse, I can’t even report to my mother now because I know where her heart truly lies.

What breaks the camel’s back though? What really sends me over the edge every single time? My kid sister eavesdrops on me and my husband when we’re alone in our room. She stands outside our door and listens. And if she hears us talking, laughing, or God forbid being intimate, she makes sure we know she’s there. She’ll start banging doors randomly. She’ll sing loudly along the corridor right outside our room. Or she’ll bang the door claiming she’s looking for her lost charger at the most inconvenient times. It’s like she has a radar for when we finally have a moment of peace.

I just don’t get it. I don’t understand where this hatred comes from. What did my husband ever do to her except be down on his luck? What did he do except marry her sister and try his best?

Here’s the complicated part. They can’t fully disrespect me because they know I would withdraw all forms of support I give them. I contribute in this house. They know that. But at the same time, I don’t know how to confront her or report to my mom because currently I am at their mercy too. We live in their home. Every time I think about speaking up, I remember that this roof belongs to them. And that silences me.

But I can’t keep silent forever. This is not sustainable. My husband is shrinking before my eyes. The man I married, the one with dreams and confidence and a future, is becoming a shadow of himself. And I refuse to let that happen.

So what do I do? How do I make this stop? What are my options when the people mistreating you are also the ones providing shelter? I need real answers. Practical ones. Because this is not the man I married. I know that life will get better for him. I believe that with everything in me. And I’m going to stand next to him through it all. But right now, in this moment, we need a way through this fire.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

If you have been here before, if you have navigated this kind of family toxicity while trying to hold your marriage together, please tell me. What did you do? How did you survive? How did you protect your husband and your peace without losing your family entirely? I’m waiting and I’m listening.

—Asiah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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I have been with Maame Yaa for three years now. We started dating in 2023, during my national service period, and from the beginning, our lives became deeply intertwined. We did almost everything together—plans, prayers, struggles, and dreams. Back then, I didn’t have much, especially financially. After completing my national service in 2023/2024, I was unemployed and unsure of my next step. What kept me afloat were friends and cousins abroad who supported me whenever they could.

Despite my instability, I tried my best to be a good partner. I never hid money from Maame Yaa whenever I had some. I wanted her to feel secure, loved, and supported. With the little savings I managed to put together, I gave her more than GHS 3,000 as capital to start a business of her choice. I was unemployed, yet I made sure she was comfortable, even when it meant sacrificing my own needs.

She decided to start a clothing and slipper business. I was hopeful for her, proud even. But a few months later, the business collapsed. She never really explained what went wrong or what the money was eventually used for. I didn’t push too much. I trusted her, and I believed relationships should be built on understanding, not constant interrogation.

Not long after we met, she opened up about something that deeply troubled her. She told me she believed she could not give birth. She feared she might be barren. I was surprised and asked her why she thought so, especially since she hadn’t gone to the hospital for any confirmation. She explained that she had been with her ex-boyfriend for over a year, and they had unprotected sex throughout that time, yet she never became pregnant. After they broke up, the man went on to impregnate another woman. On top of that, we were also having unprotected sex without any pregnancy. To her, the conclusion was obvious. The problem had to be from her side.

This fear weighed heavily on her. She cried often and worried that I might leave her someday because of it. I reassured her repeatedly. I told her that nothing was impossible with God and that we would face whatever came together. Eventually, we went to the hospital for laboratory tests. The results showed clearly that there was nothing wrong with her womb. I was relieved, and she was too.

Later on, she was introduced to some herbal treatment. Not long after that, she became pregnant. The pregnancy was not planned, but given everything we had been through, I accepted the responsibility wholeheartedly. In August last year, she gave birth. Today, our baby is six months old.

After the delivery, we did not resume sexual relations for some months. From my end, it was intentional. I felt she needed time to heal physically, emotionally, and mentally. I didn’t want to pressure her or make her feel like her worth to me was tied to sex. But she saw it differently. She began to believe I had lost interest in her because she had given birth.

That was when things began to change.

Her attitude shifted noticeably. Communication between us reduced drastically. Even when we were in the same room, it felt like we were worlds apart. She started posting sad and cryptic messages on her WhatsApp status. Whenever I asked what was wrong, she wouldn’t answer. I tried to be patient, telling myself it was postpartum emotions or stress.

Then last week, everything came crashing down.

I stepped out briefly and returned within an hour. As I approached the house, I heard her voice in the corridor. She was on a phone call, and it was on loudspeaker. I instinctively slowed down and listened. She was speaking with her ex-boyfriend. She was telling him that I had changed since she gave birth and that she never expected me to behave that way. What hurt even more was that they went on to discuss their past sexual encounters, casually, as if boundaries no longer existed.

When she noticed I had entered the room, she quickly lowered her voice and removed the call from loudspeaker. I watched her send him a message, informing him that I had come inside.

After the call ended, I asked what I had done to deserve such disrespect. At first, she denied everything. But I told her I had heard the conversation word for word. I even said I would inform her mother and my parents about what was going on.

Later, I asked her to unlock her phone so I could see the message she sent while I was outside. She handed it over. The message was exactly what I had seen. As I scrolled further through her WhatsApp chats, I found voice notes she had sent to another ex-boyfriend, someone she dated shortly before we met.

I played the voice notes.

In one, the man responded to her WhatsApp status, saying that our baby looked like him and that he would come to conduct a DNA test. She responded with laughter, saying the baby was not his but resembled him a little. In another voice note, she laughed again and said that if he claimed the child was his, he should come and pay all the expenses we had incurred and take his baby. She then added, clearly, “It is not your daughter, okay.”

I felt something tear inside me.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

When I confronted her with the audio, she said it was just a joke and nothing serious. She cried and begged me not to tell anyone, insisting it meant nothing. But to me, it meant everything. It showed a level of disrespect and carelessness I never imagined.

Since that day, I haven’t been on talking terms with her, even though she keeps begging. I am deeply hurt, confused, and emotionally exhausted. I gave my all, my money, my time, my trust, my heart. Now I’m left asking myself where I went wrong and what I’m supposed to do next.

—Marvin

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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New York City

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Officials reinstalled the Pride flag at the Stonewall National Monument after a Trump administration directive forced its removal this week. A White House memo had stated that the National Park Service can only fly approved flags at its sites. In response, the city council passed a resolution that urged Congress to respect the history of Stonewall. Hours later, officials returned the Pride flag to the mast. “The flag is up,” Brad Hoylman-Sigal, the Manhattan borough president, said. “The community should rejoice.”

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San Benito, Texas

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More than a dozen pregnant, unaccompanied minors have been sent to a south Texas immigration shelter that is not equipped to take care of them, according to new reporting from Houston Public Media. Advocates fear the teens were put there because of the state’s near-total abortion ban. “Putting pregnant kids in San Benito is not a decision you make when you care about children’s safety,” one official told the publication. At least half of the pregnancies reportedly resulted from rape. Some of the pregnant children are only 13.

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Sacramento

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Planned Parenthood will get a cash infusion after California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill this week allocating $90 million in emergency funds to it and other reproductive health-care providers. Planned Parenthood lost nearly all federal funding last July after being barred from receiving Medicaid payments; 23 of its clinics have since closed. It dropped a suit over the lost funding last week. Newsom said it was “a point of pride” for him to “address these assaults and attacks on women.”

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This news roundup first appeared in our newsletter, Rewire Weekly. Sign up here to get the latest reproductive rights news, expert analysis, and a peek into the RNG newsroom—fresh to your inbox.

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The post Pregnant Immigrant Teens in Detention Face Potentially Unsafe Conditions in Texas Shelter appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This story was originally reported by Marissa Martinez of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

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The House on Feb. 11, 2026 passed the SAVE America Act, which would implement strict limitations on voter registration and casting a ballot—including new rules that could make it more difficult for married women or LGBTQ+ people to register if they’ve changed their names.

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The vote passed on partisan lines, with only Texas Democrat Henry Cuellar voting for the legislation, and will face an uphill battle in the Senate.

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Stricter voter ID requirements are part of a more aggressive GOP strategy to question the validity of elections. The vote comes after the White House reopened investigations on an election office in Fulton County, Georgia, one of the central sites in President Donald Trump’s unfounded concerns of election fraud in 2020. Trump also recently said he wanted to “nationalize” voting, and while he has been vague on what that means, it could include a federal override on states’ abilities to run their own elections—particularly in places where he lost to former President Joe Biden.

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While voter ID requirements are popular among Americans across the political spectrum, critics say the provisions in the SAVE America Act would be overly burdensome on already eligible voters and dissuade new registration, particularly in rural areas.

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Voting rights groups have said the bill would pose a barrier for millions of American women and others who have changed their legal names because of marriage, assimilation or to better align with their gender identity. An estimated 69 million American women and 4 million men do not have a birth certificate that matches their current legal name.

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The SAVE America Act requires voters to provide documents proving their citizenship at the time of registration. Many otherwise eligible citizens do not have access to the required documents, such as an unexpired passport. Birth certificates are also one of the few options to prove a registrant’s identity, but they often do not reflect a married person’s or LGBTQ+ individual’s current legal name once they have changed it. While there are ways to further corroborate one’s identity, some experts warn the bureaucratic burden may turn people off registering altogether due to complications—preventing citizens from being able to cast a ballot.

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“A real solution would eliminate the provision that requires women to go around and gather all these documents only to then affirm their own identity,” said New Mexico Rep. Teresa Leger Fernandez, who chairs the Democratic Women’s Caucus, during a press conference.

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She added that as a Latina, she and others often have multiple documents with different legal names, which would add to confusion when registering: “This bill will make it harder, more expensive, for you to register and vote.”

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Proponents of the bill have scoffed at the idea that the act would meaningfully affect married people who have changed their names.

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GOP Rep. Tim Burchett, a vocal advocate of the bill from Tennessee, said the concept of married women not being able to vote under the act was “ridiculous.”

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“It’s an easy change—there’s no problem with that at all,” Burchett told The 19th. “That’s just like saying it’s Jim Crow. That’s an antiquated argument that nobody buys.”

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Republicans introduced its predecessor, the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act (SAVE), last year to purportedly block noncitizens from voting—something that is already illegal. That House-passed version still hasn’t been taken up in the Senate.

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Between the new SAVE America Act and its amendments, passed in the House Rules Committee on Feb. 10, 2026, the new version would have individuals present an eligible photo ID before voting, in addition to the former version’s requirement of proof of citizenship while registering. Mail-in ballots would also require voters to include a scanned copy of their identification, even in states that automatically send ballots to eligible individuals.

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The bill also mandates states to remove noncitizens from existing voter rolls—already an extremely rare occurrence—after submitting those logs to the Department of Homeland Security for review. Critics say on the state level, such voter roll reviews have in the past erroneously purged legal citizen voters.

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The voter ID provisions would be effective immediately, potentially affecting those who have already cast mail-in ballots for their primary elections, as well as the millions of people who would want to register to vote for the upcoming midterms. There are also logistical delays seen with voter overhauls over the last decade in states such as Texas or Kansas, when election officials and administrators faced confusing or conflicting information following the changes.

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“There’s absolutely no runway for this bill,” said Gréta Bedekovics, director of democracy policy at the left-leaning Center for American Progress. “Overnight, you would be changing the way that every single American registers to vote, and how millions of people actually vote at the ballot box, and elected officials would have to be doing all this education in real time.”

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Key Republican sponsors had gotten antsy about the delay in passing this voter legislation, going so far as to try to connect the measure to the wider spending package required for the government to run. That spending package already had been sidelined by debates over reforming and further funding the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) after federal officers killed two people during its ongoing anti-immigrant campaign in Minneapolis.

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To the chagrin of the bill’s staunchest advocates, House Speaker Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune punted on the issue to separate it from DHS funding last week, with Johnson saying, “I don’t think we need to be playing games with government funding.”

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Trying to find a guaranteed vehicle to force a Senate vote on the provisions didn’t work, showing that the GOP is still strained to pass the controversial SAVE Act and get it to President Donald Trump’s desk before midterm primary voting begins in earnest.

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While the majority of Republican senators are listed as co-sponsors, the bill would likely need 60 votes to overcome a filibuster, and House lawmakers are concerned that Democrats in the upper chamber would not be easy to divide over voting rights.

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Some Senate Republicans have also expressed hesitancy. Among them is Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski, who said the voter ID push is “not how we build trust.”

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“When Democrats attempted to advance sweeping election reform legislation in 2021, Republicans were unanimous in opposition because it would have federalized elections, something we have long opposed,” she said in a statement. “One-size-fits-all mandates from Washington, D.C., seldom work in places like Alaska.”The SAVE America Act faces an uphill battle in the Senate, where a handful of Republicans have expressed concern about implementing the provisions.

The post House Passes Elections Overhaul Bill That Could Make it Harder for Married Women to Vote appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This article was originally published by Truthout, and has only been edited to adhere to Rewire News Group’s style guide.

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Black knowledge production, Black self-understanding, and the power of Black people to represent ourselves is under attack, which means that Black identity and Black meaning-making practices are being erased. In The Mis-Education of the Negro, published in 1933, Black historian Carter G. Woodson wrote, “The education of the Negroes, then, the most important thing in the uplift of the Negroes, is almost entirely in the hands of those who have enslaved them and now segregate them.” Woodson is pointing to the assault on Black dignity and Black agency.

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Almost 100 years since the publication of Woodson’s indispensable text, the Trump administration has attacked the reality of Black existential dread and pain experienced in this country. In short, the president is attempting to whitewash U.S. history. Just think here of the removal of the Black Lives Matter Plaza and ground mural and the removal of Black history from museums, parks, and monuments. Think specifically of Donald Trump’s attack on the Smithsonian Institution, which he charges with focusing too much on “how horrible our Country is, how bad slavery was.” In his Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, Douglass described the horrible beating of his Aunt Hester as the “blood stained gate, the entrance to the hell of slavery.” Trump would have us believe that there is something “positive” about the hell of slavery.

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As Francine Prose writes, “The point is to create a national identity that mirrors the president’s own view of himself as a model of moral purity, an angelic being who has never made a mistake that merits an apology or even a moment of regret.”The fact of the matter is that Trump’s view of himself is a lie, a case of deep and destructive self-deception.

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Considering this systematic attempt to erase Black history and the history of Black pain and horror, I conducted this exclusive interview with Thomas A. Foster, a historian of early American gender and sexuality who is associate dean for faculty affairs and professor of history at Howard University, as well as the author or editor of seven books, including most recently, Rethinking Rufus: Sexual Violations of Enslaved Men. It is from this book that I approached Foster to discuss the overlooked, understudied, and undertheorized fact that Black men under slavery were sexually assaulted/raped. This reality speaks to just how bad slavery was, how pervasively sexually violent it was toward both enslaved Black women and men. It is a history that we must tell, and damned if Trump will control our narrative about our pain and our joy.

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George Yancy: Just last semester in the fall, I taught a course where I had my students read Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass. There is a very revealing description that Douglass provides regarding the white slave breaker, Covey. He is described as a poor white man, but he was able to purchase a Black woman, Caroline. Covey was excited to buy her specifically for the purpose of making her a “breeder,” which means that he had to hire an enslaved Black man to have sex with her. As a result of this forced union, Caroline had twins. Douglass says, “The children were regarded as being quite an addition to his wealth.” I pointed out to my students how Black bodies were exploited to produce more “chattel.” It is clear to me that Caroline was the victim of slavery’s dehumanizing practices, and that any sense of her sexual autonomy was deemed inconsequential. What is not necessarily clear is how the Black enslaved male was also stripped of his sexual autonomy. Both were clearly sexually assaulted by a white supremacist institution.

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This made me think about the paucity of work dealing with the sexual assault of enslaved Black men. In your significant historical text, Rethinking Rufus: Sexual Violations of Enslaved Men, you precisely and critically write about Rufus, an enslaved Black man who was forced to have sex with an enslaved Black woman, Rose Williams. In short, your work helps us to explore those cases where Black males were sexually assaulted during slavery. Given the paucity of work in this area, your work is so important and revealing. You recognize this paucity when you write, “But the academy has been slow to produce studies that verify oral traditions that include sexual violence against enslaved men.” Why do you think the academy has been slow in this regard?

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Thomas A. Foster: First, thank you for this opportunity to discuss Rethinking Rufus and for your interest in the book. As we know, historians study the past on its own terms, but the questions we ask about history are always informed by the present. We traditionally work from written sources, have an uneasy relationship with oral traditions and family lore, and the loudest voices in written sources tend to shape which topics are studied first.

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At the same time, our country is still working through the legacy of enslavement, and both in source material and in cultural awareness, sexual assault of men remains a poorly understood topic. The rape of men by other men is still frequently treated as a source of derisive humor. The rape of men by women is also deeply fraught. Consider how the legal system and the court of public opinion often view relationship violence perpetrated by women against men, or sexual intimacy between adult women and adolescent boys.

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This is not to say that our culture has a firm grip on sexual violence against women. We can see this clearly in the ongoing horrors revealed in the Epstein files and in the hypocrisy that shapes how the legal system and society respond to the sexual assault of Black women. Discourse about rape has deep legal and cultural roots in this country, and yet even today, with all of that awareness, rates of sexual assault remain high, and women and girls must fight for justice despite a legal and cultural apparatus that has existed for generations.

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Given all of this, it is not entirely surprising that sexual assault of enslaved Black men has failed to garner sustained scholarly attention. The sexual assault of white men and boys in colonial America and in U.S. history is also understudied.

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Gender roles have long defined sexual assault in ways that obscure an understanding of sexual violations of men. There were no legal protections against the rape of enslaved Black women or enslaved Black men. In both the legal system and the broader culture of colonial America and the early United States, sexual assault was most often framed through the racial and gender ideology of white womanhood, the ability of white men to protect their dependents, and the imagined criminality of perpetrators who were non-white and non-elite.

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As a result, sexual assaults committed by white men have also gone largely understudied, especially when scholars rely primarily on legal sources that rarely brought those men to justice. The imbalance in the sources has shaped our historical understandings, and that problem has only been compounded by cultural discomfort—especially when the gender, race, or class of the actors don’t fit familiar scripts.

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You argue that abolitionist literature would have intentionally avoided the issue of sexual violence against Black men. Say more about this. Was it fear? What was the white ideology driving such an avoidance narrative?

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Abolitionists were trying to persuade an audience about the atrocities of slavery and that enslavement was morally repugnant, and they often framed their arguments around concerns that resonated with white northern readers: the sanctity of the family, violations of gender roles such as the male “protector” and the “virtuous” woman, and their political opposition to the South.

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In that context, the sexual assault of enslaved Black men was not a particularly effective rhetorical strategy. There was only a very little conceptual framework through which such violence could be understood—no supportive biblical language, no legal recognition, and no widely shared way to imagine men as sexual victims. I don’t know that abolitionists were consciously afraid to address the issue so much as that it was not deemed a topic that would resonate with their intended audience.

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More broadly, I would speculate that the sexual assault of men was threatening to patriarchal systems because it holds the potential to expose male vulnerability and destabilize gender hierarchies.

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In your book, you cover the important historical work that shows just how brutal slavery was in terms of its economic and libidinal investment in the rape of Black enslaved women. From the example given by Douglass, and what happened to Rufus, however, both Black bodies were subjected to the “breeding” process, and hence both were victims. Elaborate on the process of forcing Black men to be “breeders.” Talk about how this is a manifestation of sexual assault.

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Black men and women were expected to produce children because of the financial incentives created by a system that defined the children of enslaved Black women as born into lifelong bondage and as the legal property of the person who enslaved the woman.

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Scholarly attention has rightly focused on the forced reproduction of enslaved Black women, but that focus need not come at the expense of understanding the position of enslaved Black men, who were also denied sexual autonomy, including the ability to choose with whom they would have children. When reproduction is compelled under threat of violence, sale, or punishment, it is a manifestation of sexual assault, even when it is not named as such in the sources.

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To begin to take seriously the claim that enslaved Black men were sexually assaulted on plantations, one must confront white supremacist assumptions and myths regarding the so-called “hypersexual Black male.” In your book you write, “In the era of slavery, Anglo-American culture already embraced a message about Black men as particularly sexual, prone to sensual indulgence, and desiring white women.” How does one cut through these myths to even begin to accept the view that Black men can be victims of sexual assault—victims of white male patriarchal oppression?

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One place to begin is by listening carefully to the voices of formerly enslaved Black men, as happens in Rethinking Rufus in a chapter that examines the importance of autonomy for enslaved and free Black men within family life and intimate relationships. The WPA Slave Narrative collection and other sources offer glimpses of how Black men resisted, adapted, and attempted to assert control over their intimate lives under extreme constraint.

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Formerly enslaved Black women also sometimes wrote about violations they witnessed. As scholars have noted, Harriet Jacobs’s autobiography, Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, contains an account that strongly suggests the sexual violation of an enslaved Black man by a white man. Jacobs never names the assault explicitly, but her coded language—typical of 19th-century moral discourse—points clearly in that direction. She describes Luke as being chained to his enslaver’s bed and depicts the enslaver as sexually degenerate, engaging in “freaks of despotism” and “of a nature too filthy to be repeated.”

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I situate this account within a broader discussion of Black men who were enslaved as valets or body servants, a group that one can view as having greater autonomy or improved living conditions than Black men who were forced to labor in fields. Similar to the understanding of field versus house conditions for enslaved women—where field labor provided harsher conditions, but somewhat removed from enslavers, and house labor, which carried the constant scrutiny of enslavers—Black men enslaved as body or man servants placed them within closer proximity to their enslavers, which increased their vulnerability and exposure to sexual scrutiny and likely abuse.

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In what ways does your book deal with the issue of rethinking Black male masculinity? I’m thinking about how difficult it would have been to nurture a sense of Black male masculinity under conditions of emasculation. Exposure to sexual assault—to the hegemonic power and sexual whims of white men and white women—had to shape how enslaved Black men understood their masculinity, especially when compared to 19th-century models of manhood that emphasized independence, patriarchal authority, and the ability to protect and provide.

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Many Black men expressed pride in fathering children and in seeking intimacy with women, especially in moments when some degree of choice or autonomy was possible. In some cases, accounts of forced reproduction—including situations in which enslaved men were rented out to impregnate women on other plantations—were described in relatively positive terms.

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Those descriptions, however, must be understood within a cultural and legal environment that systematically denigrated Black men and subjected them to wide-ranging violations. Expressions of pride or resilience do not negate coercion. Some men mobilized strategies of endurance to survive being objectified, violated, and controlled. Survival and adaptation should not be mistaken for emotional immunity; many enslaved men likely carried the psychic weight of these violations in ways the archive can only partially reveal.

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You state that your text “does not equate the sexual assault of women with that of men.” I would add that sexual assault experienced by Black enslaved men and Black enslaved women should not be seen as a zero-sum situation. Both experienced deep sexual terror. In your view, what has to shift in U.S. culture to avoid the assumption that Black men had it easy—or easier—under slavery when it comes to sexual exploitation, assault, and trauma? I ask this with no intention of downplaying the brutal sexual treatment of Black women.

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It requires a willingness to move beyond familiar narratives and to sit with the complexity of what it means to be a victim and what it means to be a perpetrator under slavery.

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In Rethinking Rufus, Rose was violated by Rufus and by the man who enslaved them both, who set the assault in motion. She endured pregnancy, likely ongoing violations, and physically punishing labor during pregnancy, which was not uncommon. Rufus was violated by the white man who enslaved them both, by being forced into that situation and used to fulfill the enslaver’s directive. Another example that illustrates multilayered victimhood and vulnerability comes from late 18th-century Maryland, whereby an enslaved Black man was forced at gunpoint to rape a free Black woman. Both were forced to have sexual intercourse by pistol-wielding white men, raising the issue of a definition of rape and sexual assault that until very recently had relied upon penetration and ignored forcing a man to penetrate. Yet one can imagine in the abstract that if you took a case of a woman wielding power to coerce or force a man to penetrate her, most would say that he was indeed sexually violated.

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Taking the vulnerability of enslaved men seriously also allows us to reread sexual relationships between white women and enslaved men through the lens of power rather than through transhistorical assumptions about desire across the color line. One vivid example in the book comes from a legal case in North Carolina around 1840 involving a white woman and a Black man who lived together. The court focused on property rights after the relationship ended, but neighbors’ testimony revealed the power imbalance, including accounts that when the couple fought, she threatened to sell him.

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By focusing on individuals and their lived experiences, we gain a clearer understanding of specific circumstances and of the additional pressures that the sexual vulnerability of enslaved Black men placed on their families and communities. It touched the lives of many others in addition to the men themselves. Thank you again for this opportunity to share a little about Rethinking Rufus.

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The post Black Men Endured Sexual Exploitation Under Slavery. Their Story Is Rarely Told. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Creating romance is easier than you think.

The post Your Recipe for a Perfect Valentine’s Date: The 3 Key Ingredients for Love and Passion appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Your, Recipe, for, Perfect, Valentine’s, Date:, The, Key, Ingredients, for, Love, and, Passion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/your-recipe-for-a-perfect-valentines-date-the-3-key-ingredients-for-love-and-passion/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-17 03:27:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "158975", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Every Pro's Key to Consistent Nightgame Results: His Venue List", "title_slug": "every-pros-key-to-consistent-nightgame-results-his-venue-list", "title_hash": "fcd4dbb21e472c087248a3f9e4c4a32b", "summary": "Most nightgame advice focuses on what to do or say, yet true consistency comes from where you GO. Learn why controlling your battlefield gives consistent nightgame results.\nHey guys and welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ Most nightgame advice focuses on what to do or say, yet true consistency comes from where you GO. Learn why controlling your battlefield gives consistent nightgame results.

Hey guys and welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Every, Pros, Key, Consistent, Nightgame, Results:, His, Venue, List", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/venue-choice-nightgame-consistency-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/every-pros-key-consistent-nightgame-results-his-venue-list", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-17 03:22:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "158976", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Pick Up a Girl at the Beach: 8 Sun-N-Fun Steps", "title_slug": "how-to-pick-up-a-girl-at-the-beach-8-sun-n-fun-steps", "title_hash": "0cc0aa903ee235d2ff0e9909f9eaa51f", "summary": "The complete guide to beach pickup: which girls to approach, how to make the approach, avoid rejection, & leave with a number (or the girl).\nI have a couple of mentorship students in Florida who have been cold approaching mostly at bars, but want to get into beach game. They asked if I could write a proper guide to it.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"8$ The complete guide to beach pickup: which girls to approach, how to make the approach, avoid rejection, & leave with a number (or the girl).

I have a couple of mentorship students in Florida who have been cold approaching mostly at bars, but want to get into beach game. They asked if I could write a proper guide to it.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Pick, Girl, the, Beach:, Sun-N-Fun, Steps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/how-to-pick-up-a-girl-at-the-beach-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-pick-girl-beach-8-sun-n-fun-steps", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-17 03:22:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "158555", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Gave Me His Ex-Girlfriend’s Waist Beads as a Gift", "title_slug": "he-gave-me-his-ex-girlfriends-waist-beads-as-a-gift", "title_hash": "cc28bca377cc22b9ac292895993bcd5c", "summary": "The first gift he gave me was a wristwatch. He had proposed to me, and I had asked him to give me some time to think about it. He called …", "content": "

The first gift he gave me was a wristwatch. He had proposed to me, and I had asked him to give me some time to think about it. He called every day wanting to know his stand in my life. I told him, “Please let me know you a little. I want to accept your proposal with the peace of mind that I know what I’m getting myself into.” Then he brought me a wristwatch. It wasn’t new. It wasn’t even in a box. It was in a small rubber that looked like it was picked just to put the watch inside.

I said thank you and turned the watch upside down. He said, “Yeah, it’s not new, but I loved the quality and figured it would look good on your wrist.” I hugged him and told him he was very thoughtful. He helped put the watch on my wrist, and it fit perfectly. He took a photo of my wrist and said, “That’s going to be my screensaver.”

A few days later, I said yes, and we became lovers. He was a little bit insecure, but I took it as love. A man who doesn’t care doesn’t have the time to be insecure. Whenever he asked questions about my whereabouts, I answered truthfully and respectfully. When he saw me with a guy and got jealous, I explained the relationship to him openly and transparently.

He got me a pair of dinner dresses—one red and the other blue. Again, these dresses were not new. They also didn’t smell like they were thrifted. They didn’t have the scent secondhand clothing carries. I smelled the dresses right in front of him. He confessed, “I bought them on a hanger, but I wanted to get rid of the scent, so I washed and ironed them.”

It’s the thought that counts, so I hugged him and said thank you. I pretended to be happy about it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the gesture on my way home. “Is he too stingy to get me something new, or what? What’s all this secondhand stuff?”

One day, we had a fight about an office colleague he wouldn’t stop asking me about. According to him, he was too much in my photos. I told him, “These photos you see are field photos, and I go to the field with him, so what do you expect?” He asked if he was the only one I could go to the field with and why the office would give me a man to do fieldwork with when there were other women around.

It was annoying the way he tried to shrink my world and make it all about him, but I counted it as love until it kept graduating from questions to collecting my phone and going through it. I kept telling him I had nothing to hide, but he wouldn’t believe me. One day, I got him a brand-new pair of shoes because I thought they would look good on his feet. Instead of appreciating the gesture, he asked where I got the money to buy the shoes and if I was sure it wasn’t a man who gave them to me.

It turned into a fight, and for days we didn’t talk. He knows how to say sorry and be sweet about it, so he came around and made it look like I was crazy to be angry with him. He joked, he cuddled, and I got carried away. That day in his room, he gave me waist beads he said he bought to calm my heart down. He said, “Lie straight; let me put it on you.”

I already had some on, and he didn’t know how to put the beads on me properly, so I told him to leave it for me to do later when I was free. I went home with the beads, took them out of the bag, and they didn’t feel brand new. I smelled them, and they smelled moldy. I’m a woman, so I know how these things work. I didn’t put them on. I just tied them and pushed them into a corner. The next day, I asked him, “The beads—are they new?”

“Oh, so now you’ve tagged me the father of secondhand things, so anything I buy for you is secondhand, right? Secondhand waist beads? What do you take me for?”

This nearly turned into another fight. Our relationship was just six months old, but we had fought battles and wars and squabbles. We’d done all forms of fighting. I was tired, so I let that go until he tried to emotionally blackmail me to put the beads on. He accused me of not appreciating what he got me. He said if I truly loved him, I would wear it. So many issues. Finally, he said, “Bring it back to me if you won’t wear it.”

Then it occurred to me that I should ask questions—questions I hadn’t asked since we started dating. I asked him why he left his ex, and he got hyper-angry, asking why I should bring his ex into our conversations. He has a friend I also know, Kobby. He was out of town but was the one guy who was very close to him. I called him and asked him to be honest with me. “Why did he leave his ex?”

He laughed and said, “It’s a long story ooo. He hasn’t told you?”

His ex cheated, and he caught her in the act. That very day, he collected everything he had ever bought her and told her to get them from the man she was cheating with. My heart skipped several beats as Kobby told me the story. I asked him, “So he collected the waist beads too?” He laughed. “I don’t know about waist beads, but he collected what he could take.”

That was my eureka moment. “Now I know why he gets me only secondhand gifts.” I burst out laughing. I called him on the phone. “Tell the truth. The beads you gave me were what you collected from your ex, right? Just be honest.”

The mention of his ex put him in a ready-to-fight mood. He ranted until it turned into insults—that I was belittling him and that I should count myself lucky that he fell in love with me. He said he didn’t know what he was thinking. I only laughed, feeling fulfilled. I knew I’d found the answer to a very deep question that had been plaguing our relationship.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

After throwing all those insults, he came back being sweet and pretending the fight didn’t happen. I told him, “Honestly, I’m not doing this relationship thing again. There’s too much fighting that I can fight. Let’s end this and be free. It’s okay.”

I had put everything he had ever bought me in a box, hoping he would ask for them so I could give them back to him without a fight, but he didn’t ask. He left and later told me he hoped we could resolve the fight someday. I didn’t go back. I had seen, heard, and touched enough to go back.

—Jane

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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Dear wife,

It’s been eleven days since you left to live with your parents. The pregnancy wasn’t easy for you, but you didn’t make it easy for me too. Many dawns, you would wake up and ask me to prepare banku and hot pepper for you because you felt like vomiting. I would make the banku while dozing off. I would make the pepper extra hot. I would come back to call you, and you would be deeply asleep.

I remember the fight we had because you complained that I didn’t wake you up to eat the food. I screamed at you, “But you said you couldn’t sleep. I came to see you sleeping, so why wake you up to struggle to sleep again?” You screamed back, “I slept with an empty stomach. Do you know how dangerous it is? What if the baby died because of hunger?”

Out of frustration, I answered, “If babies died this way, who would have a baby today?” You broke down and cried. You said I didn’t respect you and that I didn’t love you enough; that was why I wanted you to die in your sleep. God, it was difficult. This fight continued for days. You wouldn’t talk to me, and I was happy because, for days, I didn’t have to wake up to prepare banku for you.

Then it changed from banku to kyinkyinga at dawn because you wanted to taste their pepper. “At this time?” I asked you. “Who is selling kyinkyinga at this time?” You asked me to drive to Circle; there was a man there who stayed up all night selling kyinkyinga. You pushed me out, and I drove to the roadside, came back an hour later to see you snoring.

On my way home from work the next day, I bought kyinkyinga with plenty pepper and hid it, knowing very well you’d wake up and ask me for it. You didn’t disappoint. At 1 a.m., you woke up asking for kyinkyinga. I quickly went to the kitchen and warmed what I bought for you. You looked into my face and said, “Why did you warm the pepper with the kyinkyinga? You’ve spoiled the potency of the pepper. Go get me a new one.”

I walked past you and went to bed. At that moment, I knew you were playing suffering games with me. I believed you just wanted me to suffer, so I went to bed, covered my whole body with the cloth, and tried to sleep. You hit me. You pushed me. You said until I got kyinkyinga for you, I wouldn’t sleep. When I got up, you said you would like to go with me. A few minutes into the drive, you slept. I turned back and drove home, kept the engine on, and we both slept in the car until morning.

I called your mom and asked if what you were going through was normal. She said it wasn’t, and she never experienced that throughout her pregnancy journey. I asked my mom, and she laughed at me. I asked my elder sister, and she said, “Your wife is smart. She’s trying to carry the baby with you.”

So I stopped running errands and instead told you, “I’d rather you put the baby in my stomach than suffer this way. What is that? Am I the only man on earth who has impregnated a woman?”

These were difficult times for our marriage. You swore heaven and earth that you were not doing it intentionally but rather responding to your cravings. I swore you were doing it just to punish me because you hate my peace. And then one day, you told me you would like to go to your parents before delivery because they could take care of you without complaining. I did the sign of the cross. I was happy I was going to have my nights back. I was delighted because no one would ask me to prepare banku at dawn or go to Circle to buy kyinkyinga.

Regardless of all the trouble you gave me during the night, you were a splendid person during the day. I watched you make my food and serve me even when you were complaining of waist pains. When I said we should eat from outside, you protested. You cooked, you cleaned, you made our house a home, and rested so you could take it on me at dawn.

Just eleven days ago, you went into labour at dawn when you were planning to go to your parents the next day. When you complained of sharp pains, I thought it was one of your antics to get me suffering. I asked, “Why is it that all the troubles about this pregnancy come at dawn? Dawn, when we should be enjoying the night?” You screamed that the baby was coming. I asked, “How did you know?” You slapped the back of my head and screamed, “Because I’m the one carrying it.”

We had a baby boy, and when you were discharged, your parents took you home. It’s been eleven days since you’ve been away, and this house hasn’t been the same again. For some reason, I wake up at dawn and can’t sleep again, but there’s no one to prepare banku for. And there’s no one fighting me for kyinkyinga. I think about you and smile. I tell myself, “This girl has been a thorn in my flesh these few months.”

I make my own food, but it doesn’t taste the same way. I’ve cleaned the kitchen twice since you’ve been away, but for some reason, so many things look out of place. The floors don’t look shiny when I do them, and the bed these days doesn’t get laid because you’re not here to insist. We planned you’d be there until after your maternity leave, but dear wife, plans have changed. The day you read this letter, the next day I’m coming for you.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’ve been through fire when you were pregnant. What else can’t I go through? Baby bathing? Changing of diapers? Rocking a crying baby to sleep at night? Bring it on! We are not meant to live this way, and it’s been clearly obvious in your absence. So I write you this letter to tell you that I didn’t like it when you were here. I’ve tasted your absence too, and I think your presence is better. Get ready. I’m coming for you.

—Nathan

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My dad was sick for four years before he eventually died. All through those four years, I was the one who sat next to him and tried to nurse him back to health again. We are two children—my younger brother and me. He got married to a lady in Canada, and the lady came for him after marriage.

I’m also married and living with my husband, but when my dad got sick, I had to beg my husband so I could bring him in and take care of him. It affected my marriage a great deal, to the point that I nearly lost my marriage. I told my husband, “My dad is my dad, and there’s no family since my mom died years ago.”

One day, his sickness got worse. We took him to the hospital, and he didn’t come back home again. He died at the age of sixty-nine. My brother came for the funeral. We put resources together to give my dad a befitting burial.

When my dad’s will was read, he had given every property of note he owned to my brother. A house to my brother. A farm to my brother. Even a car he hadn’t driven for years and was spoiled was given to my brother. What did I get? Nothing.

At the reading of the will, I kept my composure, though everyone talked about how unfair my dad was. I thought my brother would say something to me after everything, but guess what, this guy pretended he hadn’t seen what was going on.

He has given the house to my uncle to take care of it and has given the land to another aunt of mine to work on it as the caretaker.

I’m very angry in my spirit. It’s like I’m not even the child of my father. It hurts even more the way my brother is treating me, as if because of the properties, we are no longer siblings. It hurts deeply. My husband tells me to forget about everything and live my life like I have no other family. I think he’s right, but it’s hard for me to forget.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I don’t want to talk to my brother about it for him to feel I’m jealous. The way he’s acting toward me doesn’t even give me the peace to open up to him, but I’m still hurting. What do you think I should do to get rid of this pain in my heart once and for all? I feel cheated. I feel ignored and unappreciated. I put my marriage on the line for my dad, and now look at my life.

My dad gave the best things in his properties to my brother when I was the one who took care of him for over two years before he died.

—Clara

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I met him in July 2024.

He is a nurse living in the UK, but when our paths crossed, he was in Ghana on a short visit. We met, and within a few days, he was gone again. Just like that. In and out of my life so quickly, or so I thought.

Honestly, when I met him, I had no plans of falling in love again. I was tired. Not just tired, but emotionally exhausted. The word relationship alone used to make my heart race in fear. I had been through enough to know how quickly love can turn into confusion and pain.

So I was guarded.

By the time he openly showed interest in me, I was already gone. Distance was never a barrier between us. We were miles apart, yes, but it never felt that way. Every morning, we spoke before stepping into our day. At night, we unwound by listening to each other breathe through our exhaustion. On days when work frustrated me or life felt heavy, he would just sit there on video call, looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered.

I was updated on every little thing he did. Cute pictures. Random selfies. Short videos of him cooking, stepping out, visiting places. As I write this, almost 40 percent of my gallery is still him. His face. His activities. His life. I carried him in my phone like proof that I was loved.

When he texted me about the small things bothering him, I was there. When his microwave stopped working, I listened. When he complained that people were using his land in Ghana as a car park, I offered suggestions. Communication between us was full. One hundred percent. That is what I believed. I hardly overthought anything. I had no reason to suspect him.

In return for what I thought was faithfulness and love, I gave him all of me. I held nothing back. I even customized waist beads with his name scripted into them. It was my way of saying I am yours. Even from afar, I am keeping myself for you. I am loyal to you.

He knew about the beads. When I got them, I sent him pictures. When I wore them, I sent him a video. He teased me and laughed, saying, “Look at you.” We shared intimate moments over the phone. Things I had never done before, I did with him. Sometimes he would send a video and ask me to do the same. And I did. We made love over the phone whenever he wanted, or whenever I wanted. It felt safe. It felt mutual. It felt like us.

Until January.

That was when he started getting angry over things that made no sense. It was unlike him to go two days without hearing from me, yet suddenly he could go that long without calling. My calls went unanswered. My texts were ignored. Sometimes he would pick up and quickly hang up. No updates. No pictures. No sweet check-ins.

One day he casually mentioned he was going to London after work. I asked what was happening in London because he usually told me his plans in advance. He said he had some days off and was going to Ike. I said okay. I did not want to seem suspicious.

I did not hear from him again until the next day. Very unusual. The following morning I called, and we spoke for about an hour on video like nothing was wrong.

But something was wrong.

His attitude began to affect me deeply. I could not eat. I could not concentrate at work. I started losing weight. When you make someone your everything and they begin to withdraw, it can feel like you are losing your mind. That was exactly what was happening to me. I was unraveling.

On the 16th of January, I called him and overheard background noise. People were speaking Twi. I distinctly heard someone mention Adenta, and another voice saying, “Let’s go to Adenta,” while someone else mentioned Birmingham.

I asked him about it. He said his cousin had come to visit and they were catching up.

The next day, the 17th, I had this terrible feeling. I told my best friend that something was not right. I said I did not know what was wrong, but I was not okay. That day he did not answer any of my calls.

The following morning, the only message he sent was, “I will call you this morning, okay.” The call never came. Not in the morning. Not in the afternoon. Not until evening, and even then, nothing.

On the 19th, I heard from the grapevine that he had been in town for the past two weeks and had gotten married over the weekend. It sounded unreal. Like a badly written movie where I was the main character. I almost expected to turn around and see cameras behind me. It did not feel possible.

I sent him the wedding invitation card that was circulating. He replied that his name was common, that it could be someone else. He dismissed it so easily.

I was confused. Deeply confused. So I called the RSVP number on the invitation. A woman answered. I told her I just wanted to confirm something. She asked for his name. I mentioned it. She asked for his middle name. I mentioned that too. She paused and said, “Wow. Do you have his picture? Can you send it to me on WhatsApp? I am confused as well.”

I sent the picture. She asked if I had any other proof. I sent screenshots of our chats.

After a few minutes, she confirmed it was the same person. The bride was her sister.

She kept saying, “Wow, wow, wow,” and I ended the call because I could not breathe.

Shortly after, he texted me, “Where are you?” and “What are you doing?”

I replied. The first thing I typed was, “Yaw, why?”

He replied, “You know I love you.”

Love.

He asked where I got the card from. I asked him if that was really important right now. He said yes because he had a lot to say. “Don’t believe whatever people are saying.”

I told him I was lost. I was in denial. I needed him to explain.

He begged me to come and see him. I was advised not to go. They said he would lie. They said I would leave more confused than before.

But I went anyway.

I went because I was anxious. I was in shock. I was still hoping this was somehow a misunderstanding.

I told him if it was true, he should come wearing his ring. The next day when he came to pick me up from the terminal, there was no wedding ring on his finger.

When we finally spoke, he said he did not want to lose me, so he did not tell me. He said he had his own plans. He said family pressure forced the wedding. He claimed he had spoken to the girl and that now they knew there was someone else in the picture. He kept talking about plans that made no sense.

So I asked him, if you knew you were getting married, why were you telling me in November to choose a school in or around Birmingham so I could stay home? When my admission came, where exactly was I supposed to stay?

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

He had no answer.

He just stood there, looking at my face.

And that was when it finally settled in. I had loved a man who was planning a wedding while planning a future with me.

—Heartie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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Right after national service, I had this job in Accra and had to quickly come to Accra to work. I didn’t have the money to rent a new place, so I called a friend who was kind enough to give me a place to stay for the meantime. I shared the same room with her and used everything together with her. After staying with her for two months, she asked me to help with the rent too.

Before that, I was splitting every bill with her and also trying to save a little to be able to afford my own place. The rent issue came up because she wanted me to date a man in the neighborhood who had money, and I told her I wouldn’t do such a thing. She said, “You’re here suffering, and I’m giving you a man who can help reduce your suffering, and you say no. Do you know what we do here to survive?”

I was angry that she wanted to dictate my life for me, but I didn’t fight her. I decided to starve and use the money to rent my own place, however small the place. After a few months, I decided to take a loan because it was too hard to raise the amount I needed. I had crossed my probation period, so the office decided to give me a loan.

I took the loan, got this place I’m currently living in, thanked my friend, and left her place. The landlord here has been very good to me since I came. He told me he was married and that his wife had traveled out of the country for school. When I got here first, he helped me to settle, and everything I needed around the house that I didn’t know where to find, he helped with it.

Right after I settled, I could hardly see him or even talk to him. Whenever we met outside my door, we would exchange greetings, and he would ask how I was doing. This happened once in many weeks because we didn’t cross paths often.

One evening, I came from work and met this woman in the house, and I greeted her. She responded with her head and asked what I was looking for. I said in my head, “I should ask you what you’re looking for.” I told her, “I live in this house.” She asked, “Since when? Who gave you a room here that I’m not aware of?”

She walked into the landlord’s room while I also walked into my room, thinking about what made her ask me those questions. The next day, I got to know she was the landlord’s wife who had returned from her trip. I greeted her respectfully and even added, “Welcome.” She asked, “Welcome from where? Did I tell you I was coming from anywhere that you’re welcoming me?”

I was struggling to understand her hostility toward me, but then the voice in my head said, “This too shall pass.” I tried as much as possible to avoid her. Sometimes, I would be in my room and hear her voice from outside. Because of her, I wouldn’t step outside until she left the compound.

One day, we crossed paths in the compound, and I greeted her again. She frowned and didn’t respond to my greeting. While walking away, she said, “Start looking for a new place because I’m coming to work on your room and give it out to a family member.”

I kept walking, and this time she called my name and asked if I heard what she said. I didn’t even think she knew my name. I responded, “Get a new place? As in, I should leave this place?” She got angry and started ranting while I walked away. The following day, the landlord called me, and she was also present. The landlord said, “I’m sorry, but I’ll need you to vacate your room as soon as possible.”

I responded, “Please, landlord, don’t do this to me. How do I get the money to rent a new place? I just started life. It’s very hard for me already. Please don’t add to my suffering.” He said he was going to give me the remainder of my rent to help me get a new place. I told him I couldn’t raise the rest of the money to get a new place, so he should at least let me live there until my rent expired.

His wife started shouting, “Who cares what happens to you and where you live after here? That’s all you girls do—breaking homes and sleeping with people’s husbands in the name of being tenants. I have eyes, and I can see what you can do. Go and sleep on the street; who cares?”

Listening to her got me so angry I wanted to insult her, but I was the girl who needed a place to sleep, so I told her firmly, “I wasn’t raised to break homes. Your husband can testify to my character. I’ve not even had a visitor since I came to live here. You can trust me on that.”

Everything got worse when I mentioned trust. She asked me to leave and start packing as soon as possible. I was looking at the man to say something, but he sat quietly while everything unfolded. When I left, he called me on the phone and said, “For your own peace, just leave. The way she has started, she will continue to make your life unbearable.”

According to the man, his wife believes I’m a temptation to her husband, so the best thing for me was to leave. I was crying on the phone, telling him that even the loan I took to rent the place, I haven’t finished paying it. All he said was, “Hmmm, let’s see what happens.”

I haven’t known peace in this house since that day. This woman has come to knock on my door three times to ask me when I’m leaving. The third time, we nearly had a physical fight. She called me a witch and a whore. I asked her to respect herself enough to leave me alone. “I should leave you alone in my own house? Do you know how this house came to be?”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Someone told me to take her to rent control, but my fear is what will happen after that. This woman isn’t going to rest until I leave this place, from the way everything is going. Apart from rent control, is there anything I can do to bring calm into this house? To assure her that her marriage is safe and that I wouldn’t interfere in any way?

Currently, the man isn’t forcing me to leave. He’s not even saying anything. It’s only the wife trying hard to push me out.

Where do I go from here?

—Christy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Landlord’s, Wife, Wants, Out, Because, I’m, Capable, Renting, Her, Husband", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/214224.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-landlords-wife-wants-me-out-because-im-capable-of-renting-her-husband/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-16 06:50:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "158322", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Workers Fear Border Patrol’s New Social Media Requirements Could Make U.S. Travel Off Limits", "title_slug": "sex-workers-fear-border-patrols-new-social-media-requirements-could-make-us-travel-off-limits", "title_hash": "b2603e6342a388b90d0f7d8b91edf9bd", "summary": "Certain travelers may soon have to disclose years of their online history to the U.S. government. The proposed policy could ensnare sex workers in its dragnet.\nThe post Sex Workers Fear Border Patrol’s New Social Media Requirements Could Make U.S. Travel Off Limits appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

A proposed Trump administration policy intended to screen tourists and identify potential threats to national security may have the unintended consequence of keeping porn stars and other sex trade workers out of the United States, too.

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If enacted, the proposal, which U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) posted on the Federal Register on Dec. 10, 2025, would require travelers coming from 42 countries whose residents do not currently require visas to visit the U.S. as tourists—such as the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Israel, and South Korea—to share additional personal information to be approved for entry.

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Public comments on the proposal were due by Feb. 9, 2026. If adopted with no changes, the new regulations could go into effect this summer—just in time for the nation’s peak tourist months.

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The new policy may uniquely impact sex workers and sex educators in an increasingly globalized business, experts and sex trade professionals told Rewire News Group.

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“Traveling is a big part of the business today, because you have to meet content creators, you should go, from time to time, to b2b events, and … you can meet a production company at an expo,” said Berlin-based adult performer Jason Steel.

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‘Mandatory’ social media disclosure

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Social media handles were first added to the Electronic System for Travel Authorization (ESTA) application, which determines a person’s eligibility to travel to the US without a visa, in 2016 as an optional section. The new proposal would require all applicants to list all social media accounts they’ve used in the past five years. The application, which takes the place of a formal visa, can be completed as little as 72 hours before departure to the U.S. But the U.S. Department of Homeland Security recommends travelers fill it out as soon as travel plans are made.

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The policy does not require that visitors literally upload their social media content to the application. Still, by listing the names of their social media accounts, visitors grant CBP access to review their profiles and historic activity on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, X, BlueSky, and other major social media networks.

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Under the new proposal, travelers may also be asked to provide a range of “high-value data elements,” including all telephone numbers used in the last five years, all email addresses used in the past ten years, and biometric information such as facial images, fingerprints, iris scans, and DNA. The proposal does not clarify whether sharing that information would be mandatory.

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ESTA applications are flagged primarily for security, immigration, or health risks, resulting in travel not being authorized. But what counts as “flagged” in terms of social media can be vague, causing confusion for many travelers planning to enter the U.S.

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For those who create online sex content, the uncertainty about their ability to visit the U.S. began to ramp up under President DonaldTrump’s first administration. In 2018, Trump signed a far-reaching anti-sex trafficking law. Combining two prior legislative efforts—the Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) and the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA)—FOSTA-SESTA was designed to hold websites and other online platforms legally accountable if they knowingly facilitated or supported sex trafficking or prostitution.

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However, FOSTA-SESTA has drawn criticism for its failure to distinguish sex trafficking from sex work. Sex trafficking is the sexual exploitation of people through force, fraud, or coercion for commercial purposes, and sex work is a consensual exchange of sexual services for money or other things of value. Performing in pornography, creating erotic content on OnlyFans, offering companionship as a sugar baby, or working as a phone sex operator are common types of sex work.

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For sex workers, the lack of distinction can have real-world consequences.

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One London-based dominatrix, who requested to remain anonymous for her security, has had concerns traveling to the U.S. for work in the past. The dominatrix said that in 2019, U.S. border agents questioned sex workers while traveling to the AVN Adult Entertainment expo, the largest trade show and award ceremony in the adult film industry, attracting more than 45,000 attendees annually.

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“Some people in the industry were turned away at the border when they stated they would be in Vegas to attend the expo, which raised some red flags with the customs agent,” she said. “I was lucky to get through, but I was asked additional questions about my travels.”

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“I used to advise that people delete their work-related social media apps from their phones,” she said. That preventive measure, she added, “wouldn’t be as effective if U.S. tourist visas require people to list their social media accounts ahead of time.”

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A ‘deeper and invasive look’

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The Trump-proposed social media check of travelers would be a “very concerning issue,” Robert Tsigler, a New York-based attorney specializing in immigration law, told RNG. “[The proposal] not only violates each individual’s right to privacy, but puts at risk those individuals involved in stigmatized occupations, including sex workers.”

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“Compared to past travel and entry regulations like travel history or criminal background checks, the new regulation calls for a much deeper and invasive look into the personal lives of individuals,” Tsigler added.

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Under the new policy, people who engage in sex work could be denied entry to the U.S. Some may avoid traveling to the U.S. altogether to avoid the heightened application process.

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But the policy could affect more than just sex workers, advocates told RNG. Sex educators, sex therapists, and any other professionals whose work involves discussing sex, sexual health, and sexuality online may also face heightened surveillance of their social media, they said.

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Policies like the one proposed “almost always have knock-off effects on the rest of the general public down the line,” said Janelle Toussaint, a somatic sexologist and technical product strategist.

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Laws and regulations that broadly target sex work or sexual content often fail to clearly separate consensual adult labor from education, therapy, or advocacy around sexuality. As a result, sex educators, therapists, and researchers can find their work flagged or monitored, even when the content violates no laws or policies.

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Sexuality professionals say these kinds of secondary consequences happen when lawmakers make decisions without input from the people most familiar with the work.

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“I’m concerned that policymakers, lacking the field-specific expertise that I and my colleagues have, will be unable to separate professional sexuality knowledge and practice from their personal beliefs on sexuality-related matters,” Gwen Walsh, a sex educator and confidential resource advisor for Maine’s community colleges, said.

\n\n\n\n

That concern extends to how border officials could interpret sexuality professionals’ online work. Canadian sex educator Ali Imperiale, who teaches about sexual health and relationships on YouTube for over 106,000 followers, said she worries that an opaque review of social media content could lead to a biased evaluation of complicated or controversial material.

\n\n\n\n

“Knowing that my ability to cross a border could depend on how someone interprets a podcast clip, an Instagram caption, or a YouTube thumbnail would likely push me toward self-censorship,” Imperiale said. “That’s a hard position to be in when your job is literally to talk openly about topics that already carry stigma.”

\n\n\n\n

For sex workers concerned that they could be denied entry to the U.S., Steel, the adult performer, recommends an alternative: Germany. His hometown of Berlin is a longtime hub for sexual freedom and expression, and the center-right government there has historically embraced tourism of all types.

\n\n\n\n

“We welcome everyone,” he said.

The post Sex Workers Fear Border Patrol’s New Social Media Requirements Could Make U.S. Travel Off Limits appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Sex, Workers, Fear, Border, Patrol’s, New, Social, Media, Requirements, Could, Make, U.S., Travel, Off, Limits", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/New-Tourist-Policy-Web1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/11/trump-cbp-immigration-policy-sex-work/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-13 02:55:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "158321", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why I Masturbate on Valentine’s Day", "title_slug": "why-i-masturbate-on-valentines-day", "title_hash": "9ef297638d115c9a3f7eb80c12120eff", "summary": "A guaranteed orgasm is better than waiting for a box of chocolates that may never arrive. \nThe post Why I Masturbate on Valentine’s Day appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a romantic holiday—but in my experience, it frequently inspires feelings of desperation, inadequacy, and loneliness.

\n\n\n\n

Whether you’re single or in that vaguely-erotic-and-amorous-yet-poorly-defined dynamic with someone we like to call a situationship, Valentine’s Day is a time where people who are expecting big romantic gestures, bouquets, and dates can become keenly aware of the lack of flower deliveries at their door.

\n\n\n\n

Instead of spending this Feb. 14 feeling sorry for yourself, envying the relationships of others, or planning an anti-Valentine’s Day celebration with your gal pals, spend the evening doing something healthier and more obviously pleasant: masturbating!

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Masturbation for stressful times

\n\n\n\n

I force myself to be completely unproductive for one day every week: no catching up on posters for my graphic design gig, no freelance emails to my managers about the podcast I’m editing, no work on my novel, no writing this column. I recently woke up on one such day feeling sort of aimless and vaguely horny, unmoored by the lack of work.

\n\n\n\n

I pulled out my phone on my couch and started to assume the classic posture of a singleton at 9 a.m. on a Saturday: one hand poised on my crotch while the other one went searching for internet pornography to mindlessly masturbate to.

\n\n\n\n

But, I decided I deserve better. Why jerk off mindlessly on the couch when I could roll out the red carpet for myself?

\n\n\n\n

I set the mood with the psychedelic rock playlist I usually play during hookups, pulled out all my lubes—from my trusty jar of Boy Butter to the tube of emergency AstroGlide usually lost under my bed—and dusted off my robotic blowjob machine and my dildo.

\n\n\n\n

I truly showed up for myself that day, and all by myself, I achieved the kind of full-body orgasm that I usually associate with a particularly good lay. I was equally surprised by both the fact that I could do that and the fact that I don’t do that more often.

\n\n\n\n

In stressful times like these, we’re all in desperate need of relief. Masturbation is a great release valve—and yes, I come wielding the science to prove it!

\n\n\n\n

Masturbating releases several hormones related to your brain’s reward system, like dopamine. It also triggers an avalanche of endorphins, which help your body feel less stressed. You don’t even have to climax—just rub. Research shows that clitoral stimulation helps boost mood and engender relaxation, and the literal act of self-soothing and self-pleasure reduces anxiety. Masturbation has also been found to improve cognitive function during ageing—just another great reason to touch yourself!

\n\n\n\n

Despite longstanding taboo around masturbation, research conducted by the International Society for Sex Medicine reports that people of all age groups—from adolescents to folks 70 and over—masturbate regularly.

\n\n\n\n

Another study found that for 46 percent of perimenopausal women and 32 percent of postmenopausal women, masturbation had a positive effect on at least one of their uncomfortable symptoms, from improving sleep or mood to reducing vaginal pain. And for some folks aged 50 and up, masturbation can give memory recall a boost.

\n\n\n\n

Finally, while the science isn’t conclusive, some research shows that, for men and other folks with a prostate, more frequent ejaculation is associated with a lower risk of prostate cancer.

\n\n\n\n

On Valentine’s Day, what could be more romantic than warding off cancer?

\n\n\n\n

To porn or not to porn

\n\n\n\n

I am a proponent of the adult entertainment industry.

\n\n\n\n

In my writing and my life, I talk about and celebrate all kinds of sex work because that’s one of many ways to destigmatize this field. I also believe that sex work should be decriminalized, and that censorial bills like the new online age-verification laws that have been enacted in roughly half of the U.S., which require users to share sensitive information, like biometric data, to access sexual content are dangerous.

\n\n\n\n

But all that said, some research has shown that excessive consumption of porn can change the chemistry in your brain, leading to poorer impulse control, difficulty focusing, and dopamine-hunting cycles of addiction. So, it could be fun to experiment with a little more mindful masturbation this Valentine’s Day, using nothing but your body, some toys if you have them, and your imagination.

\n\n\n\n

Mindful masturbation combines self-pleasure with meditation; it’s a tool that can be used to become more attuned to the body and help eliminate the dopamine hunt associated with swiping on apps or scrolling lots of pornography. Instead of setting goals for this masturbation session—I must come!—mindful masturbation is a practice that asks you to be in the present moment, notice the body, and see what happens.

\n\n\n\n

Similar to the practice of body scanning in meditation, you might start off gliding your hands across your entire body, exploring where a new and surprising erotic sensation may arise. As in traditional meditation, you can let your mind wander here and be surprised by the memories and emotions that come up. And then: Release them as you continue touching yourself, from the usual erotic zones you might already know to other areas you rarely pay attention to.

\n\n\n\n

What a totally psychedelic way to treat yourself on Valentine’s Day.

\n\n\n\n

If, instead, you’d still like to masturbate with some visual or audio support (I know I do!) but you find yourself distracted, worried, or alienated by the mainstream porn that comes across your feed on websites like PornHub, I have a couple of recommendations.

\n\n\n\n

The website Ersties has an all-woman production team that focuses on female pleasure and intimate moments. I find the production style of its videos, similar to the glossy made-to-go-viral aesthetics of internet gameshows and tutorials, to be comforting and weirdly erotic. There’s also Bellesa, a studio that makes porn “by women, for everyone that wants something real.”

\n\n\n\n

For example, the first Ersties video that caught my attention was “Orgy My Way,” from 2025, where 20 contestants of many genders compete in seven rounds of erotic games, revealing red flags, an oral sex contest, and a stripping challenge, all to join in an ultimate orgy. It felt like watching an entertaining game show on Netflix that also happened to be pornographic.

\n\n\n\n

Quinn, a very popular audio erotica platform, has more than 350k followers on Instagram. Quinn has an entire library of short and sexy stories you can listen to while you jerk off (or clean the house, commute, or whatever).

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Internet boyfriends are frequently cast to narrate their stories. Christopher Briney, from The Summer I Turned Pretty, plays the part of a man falling in love with his brother’s ex in one story. In another, Heated Rivalry’s Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams star as fey princes of opposing kingdoms who are in an erotic competition.

\n\n\n\n

If internet girlfriends are your thing, Kate Moennig (yes, Shane from The L Word) even plays a rock star that’s retired to a ranch in Montana. Sapphic sexiness ensues.

\n\n\n\n

With fantasies and sex toys like these at your finger tips, who needs a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day?

\n\n\n\n

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The post Why I Masturbate on Valentine’s Day appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Why, Masturbate, Valentine’s, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Just-masturbate-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/12/why-i-masturbate-on-valentines-day/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-13 02:55:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "157545", "lang_id": "1", "title": "This Is the Reason I Finally Hit My Boyfriend Back", "title_slug": "this-is-the-reason-i-finally-hit-my-boyfriend-back", "title_hash": "b04e4f5cdb906babd5b23e84f37e30a6", "summary": "I have always hated myself. I would look into the mirror and throw insults at my skin, at the way it looked patched and uneven. I hated my eyes, the …", "content": "

I have always hated myself. I would look into the mirror and throw insults at my skin, at the way it looked patched and uneven. I hated my eyes, the way they bulged, my ears, everything. School made it worse. School was where comparison lived. It was where I watched other girls, the ones the fine boys chased after, and I learned exactly where I stood. Far away from them. So I hated school.

Home did not feel better. At home, I felt unseen. I felt like an outcast, standing outside the favour that seemed to come so easily to my siblings. I carried a deep belief that I was ugly, unworthy of love, and fundamentally unfavoured. Nobody could change it. It felt etched into my very being, carved there by my own thoughts. Maybe adolescence played a part. Maybe it was all in my head. But I was convinced my mother favoured my brother and sister.

Major must have smelled my insecurity from afar. That is the only way I can explain what happened next.

After class one day, I tried to rush away as usual. Major was there, standing in my way, smiling. Over time, I grew attached to him. I loved the way he held my hand while talking to other students in class, like I belonged to him. I loved how he sat beside me, how he looked at me like there was no other girl in the room. Every time he told me I was beautiful, something inside me softened. When he said things like, “I bought this dress for you. It will look so pretty on you when we go for dinner,” I believed him.

With Major, I felt alive in ways I never had before. So when he asked me to date him, I jumped at it. In my head, I had won the jackpot. I thought I had found a man who made me feel loved, who made me feel beautiful, even just through his eyes.

Six months in, Major started asking that we do adult things. He used the same line every time. “If you loved me as you say, it would be easy.” I could not counter it. I had given him so much already, so my body felt like the next thing he was entitled to. He had made me love it, so it became his.

It happened in his apartment.

Does it count as being lured when someone says all the right things but your spirit does not feel right about it? Because that was how it felt. I did not feel settled on my end. Afterward, the shame came crashing down. I imagine it was how Adam and Eve felt when God came looking for them in the garden after they ate the forbidden fruit.

I felt dirty. I felt shame, pain, and anger all at once. It felt like work. It felt wrong. I kept asking myself why it had to feel that way when I loved Major. Somewhere inside me, I think I knew I had done it with the wrong person.

Not long after, I broke things off with him. I could not live with the nightmares anymore.

What I did not know was that he had taken photos. Photos of me naked. Photos of me in his bathroom, on his bed, sleeping in a shirt. I did not know he had them. I did not even know when he took them.

The day he sent those photos to me, something inside me shattered again. It hit me, painfully, that I did not fit society’s idea of beauty.

Then the threats started. He told me that if I did not return to him, he would post them. He said he would tell the world how I slept, how I was not even a sleeping beauty. He said he would post them in our department group, ask his friends to forward them, and soon I would be everywhere. Blogs. Snapchat. Telegram. He swore he would make everyone see me naked before he let me go.

So I stayed.

I thought about it over and over. My parents seeing those photos. My siblings. My neighbours. What people would say. What I would become afterward. I knew I could not survive it. I knew it would kill something in me, if not all of me. I told him, “The only reason I am with you is because of those photos. Nothing else.”

That was when the beating started.

He said he owned me now because of those photos. “Whatever I want to do with you, I will,” he told me. He said he could beat me as long as he liked and no one would do anything to him. He threatened my existence. He controlled where I went, who I spoke to. I could not even be seen with a colleague. If he got angry, he beat me. Afterward, he begged for forgiveness and blamed the devil, said an evil spirit had entered him.

That was my entire life in school.

Until one day, the last time he raised his hand to hit me, I fought back. I beat him. I stood my ground. He never raised his hand to me again. I still do not know where that strength came from. Maybe hitting him knocked something loose in his head. Maybe he finally saw that I was not as powerless as he thought.

The day I collected my certificate from school, I blocked him everywhere. I left all our group chats. I sent him one message. “Post the pictures if you like. I’m done.”

That did not stop him.

He begged from different numbers. Every morning I woke up scared. Sometimes he begged. Sometimes he sent videos of himself crying, on his knees, rolling on the floor, sliding down the wall. “If you leave me, something will happen to me. I will die,” he said.

When I did not respond, he turned to threats again. This time he said he would send the photos to my workplace’s social media pages. And he tried. He actually did it, not knowing I had already left that job. That failed attempt exposed his IP address, and the manager connected me to a helpful police officer.

That was when I finally told someone.

I told my mother. I finally told my mom, and finally, I could breathe again. It was like the world’s weight had been lifted from my chest. I could sleep without waking to anxiety, even though telling her felt like risking my last shred of dignity.

When I told her, everything changed. She looked at me calmly and asked, “What do we need to do?”

When Major realised I was serious about going to the police, and that I had kept every message he sent as evidence, he disappeared. He took his slippers and ran. Right now, I do not know if he is alive, dead, or hiding somewhere out of fear of arrest.

But I am alive.

And that is what matters.

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": "This, the, Reason, Finally, Hit, Boyfriend, Back", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/IMG_4860.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/this-is-the-reason-i-finally-hit-my-boyfriend-back/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-11 08:43:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "157544", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Got a Life-Changing Promotion at Work But My Husband Says No, I Can’t Take it.", "title_slug": "i-got-a-life-changing-promotion-at-work-but-my-husband-says-no-i-cant-take-it", "title_hash": "99a0e7155f394b332b563d5fc841c910", "summary": "For two years, our marriage has felt like a well-watered garden. No storms, no drought, no raised voices echoing through the night. Sometimes I try to remember the last time …", "content": "

For two years, our marriage has felt like a well-watered garden. No storms, no drought, no raised voices echoing through the night. Sometimes I try to remember the last time we truly fought, and I fail. We have disagreed, yes, but never in a way that left wounds. It has been gentle, almost effortless. The only thing missing from our picture-perfect frame was a child. We both believed that, in time, that blessing would come.

Then life shifted.

A few weeks ago, I got the promotion I have prayed for since I started my career. The kind that changes the trajectory of your life. I was to manage a branch in another city. It came with a bungalow, a company car, and a salary that would finally place me above what my husband earns. I had imagined this moment so many times; how I would scream, cry, fall on my knees in gratitude. Instead, I walked around the office glowing like someone who had swallowed sunlight.

I couldn’t wait to tell him. I got home smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. “Babe, look at what the Lord has done,” I said. “Your wife is now at the high table.” He stood up and hugged me. His joy felt real. He asked questions, congratulated me, and said he was proud. For a few beautiful seconds, I thought this was how the rest of the night would go.

Then I mentioned the transfer. “I’ll have to move to manage another branch,” I said, still smiling. His face shifted. “Permanently?” “That’s what it looks like,” I answered. “Until maybe something changes along the line.”

Silence fell between us like a curtain.

“No,” he said slowly. “That will be too much distraction to the flow of this marriage. You mean you’ll live there and I will live here? What will be the essence of this marriage that we just started?” His words startled me. I had been thinking about the house, the car, the new responsibilities. He had been thinking about distance, absence, disruption. We had both been looking at the same opportunity, but we were seeing different futures.

“You can’t take it,” he said firmly. “Tell them you’re grateful, but for personal reasons you can’t accept.” I stared at him. “This comes once in a lifetime. If someone else takes it, I don’t know when an opportunity like this will arise again. Let me take it. We’ll think through things as we go along.”

“And what will the answers be?” he asked. “That I follow you?”
\n“We can do weekend visits,” I suggested. “Four hours is not the end of the world. Something might change along the line. Let’s not kill it before we try.”

He shook his head. I could see the resistance settling in him like cement hardening. The next day, I wrote to accept the promotion. I have a few weeks before I move. In my mind, it is settled. In his, I am not going anywhere. We are living in the same house but planning two different realities. He says things now that sting. “Maybe you don’t want this marriage,” he told me one night. “Just say it and stop hiding behind an empty promotion. Is that the only good thing that will ever happen to you? Blame yourself for whatever happens to us.”

He has made it clear that he will not be driving four hours to see me on weekends and four hours back to start a stressful week. “I’m not ready for such a stressful life,” he insists. “So you won’t sacrifice anything to make this work?” I asked. That question opened another door. He went back in time, listing sacrifices like receipts pulled from a drawer. He paid for my master’s degree when we were not even married. He supported me when my salary barely covered my transport. “How many men will do that?” he asked. “You’re asking me about sacrifice? What have you sacrificed? Name it.”

His words pierce me because they are not entirely false. He did invest in me. He believed in my potential when I doubted myself. But did he invest so I would grow only within the radius of his comfort? I don’t see this promotion as something that benefits only me. My salary increase will reflect in our joint account. Our savings will grow. We can travel the places we have dreamed about. We can build the house we have sketched on paper countless times. Yet he sees it as a wedge driven into the heart of our marriage.

He has changed these past weeks. He gets angry easily. He keeps to himself. The easy laughter we once shared has disappeared. He goes out more often now than he ever did in our two years of marriage. Sometimes I sit beside him on the couch and feel like a stranger. It feels as though my ambition has become a bad scent pushing him away.

I ask myself questions I never imagined asking. Am I a bad wife? Is choosing growth the same as choosing selfishness? Are we the only couple who has faced this crossroads?

When we were dating, we did not foresee this conversation. We met here. We planned to raise our family here. His job anchors him here. Mine is asking me to move. Is marriage about staying rooted in one place, or is it about moving together even when the terrain changes? It feels like I am holding a golden key in one hand and the fragile glass of my marriage in the other. If I reach for one, will I shatter the other?

This is what I worked for. This is why I stayed up nights studying. This is why I pushed through exhaustion to complete my master’s degree, the same master’s he paid for. How do I not reap the benefit now? How do I shrink myself after expanding so deliberately?

It seems like love complicates everything. I did not marry him to live parallel lives. I married him to share mornings and build a family under one roof. I don’t want to become the wife who chose career over companionship. But I also don’t want to become the woman who buried her dreams to keep peace.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

We are standing at a crossroads neither of us prepared for. The promotion has not moved me yet, but it has already shifted the atmosphere in our home. Every conversation feels loaded. Every silence feels heavy. And the hardest part is not the transfer or the four-hour distance. It is the fear that I might be destroying my marriage with my own hands, even while reaching for something I have prayed for all my life.

—Georgina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I read the story about a woman who was angry with her mother for going back to the man who abandoned them. It stirred something in me, because I have lived a similar story. So let me share mine.

All four of us depended on her for everything. When we needed textbooks, it was Mama. When our shoes were worn and torn, it was Mama. When there was food on the table, it was Mama. Growing up was tough. We stared poverty in the face, and it stared right back at us, smiling.

I hated the hardship Mama went through for our sake. I hated the early mornings when she left the house before the sun was fully awake. I hated the late nights when she returned with a frown, her back aching, her body exhausted. Some nights she came home empty-handed. Those nights, we slept with growling stomachs. We would look at each other in the dark, eyes heavy with tears, listening to the sound of hunger between us. There were countless nights like that.

I remember so much from my childhood. I remember when we started selling small items to support Mama. You could argue that it is common, so why talk about it. But for us, if we did not make sales, there was no school the next day and no food that evening. It was that simple.

I remember going to funerals of people we did not know, just so we could survive on food. I remember Saturdays when Mama would dress up and walk out the door. A few hours later, she would return with food for us. I remember Mama watching the four of us fight over the last small portion of food left on the plate. I remember the many times we went to school without money or food and returned home to hunger. I remember praying to God, asking where our next meal would come from. I remember watching Mama pray too, asking God for a way, even if it was a small one. I remember it vividly.

Daddy left us to be with another woman, a woman he called better than my mother. Every time we got access to his number, he changed it, or he simply recognized our voice and blocked it. When I completed junior secondary school, I had no hope of going to senior high school, let alone university, and certainly not of earning two master’s degrees one day. But the resilient woman I call my mother came through.

I was in university when I called home. I was told my father came visiting my mother. The word “father” sounded strange in my ears, seeing that it was only my mother who did all the work. “My mom said he came to apologize to us for leaving us like that. He said it won’t happen again,” my sister told me.

“It won’t happen again? Where was he when we needed him? My father is dead. That is all I know. Do not let him in the house again,” I told my mother, and expected the issue of my father returning back home dead until I heard his grace-to-grass story.

The other woman he left us for had also abandoned him for someone else. She had sold most of the properties they had made together and run away with her new lover abroad. Worst of all, he had lost his job, so he returned home like the prodigal son in the Bible.

All the anger I felt when I heard he visited Mom at the house did not amount to when I later found out my mother was contemplating taking him back into the house as her husband.

“Efua, whatever you do, he is your father and I can’t let him sleep outside, in hunger. He is my husband whether you like it or not,” she said to me.

I appreciated my mother’s benevolence. She is compassionate to a fault, but I would not stand an inch with a man who abandoned his family to be with someone else, only to come back to the same family he abandoned when things turned sour for him.

During those days, together with my siblings, we had a mission. Call Mama every day and frustrate her about receiving Daddy with open arms. Every day we called to recount one of the many nights we slept without food, or had no new clothes for a year while he slept in the comfort of his mistress. But none of it worked. So we decided to remind her that once a cheating man, always a cheating man. But Mama said that love conquers all.

And maybe she was right, because the kind of glow I saw in my mother’s eyes was incomparable to nothing. Her smiles were wider. She looked healthy, alive. Every day I went home, I saw the change. My siblings saw it too. We would have been happier if that glow had nothing to do with my absentee father, but we were at the bridge where we understood that it was only Father who was the reason for that kind of joyfulness in her heart, so we buried the hatchet.

Over time, I have also learned to let it go. He was an absent father. I have daddy issues because of his abandonment. We live, we forgive.

It has been eleven years now since he returned home, eating from our labor, making decisions as a man, the head of the house, calling things to order, laughing and farting in the same house he abandoned. Sometimes I really hope that he sits to imagine what our life was like before he left us. Sometimes the odds may not be too much on our side because the person we are trying to protect and fight for might not see it that way.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

For the sake of your mother’s happiness and wellbeing, please accept her decision and be the good daughter she brought you up to be.

—Nina
\n

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#SB<>

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I used to be very prayerful. I was the girl you would find where the deepest tongues were spoken. I told myself I could interpret tongues and hear the voice of God. I was the example in church. I was the girl your mother advised you to emulate. But life hit me very hard when my dad died. One day I asked myself, “Is God really there? Or do we pretend He’s there when good things are happening to us, only for Him to disappear when trouble happens?”

My dad died. His family took over his properties and left us with nothing. Even my mom looked up to me when it came to prayers. “Adwoa, pray. Those after us are too strong.” I prayed, but I still couldn’t pay my fees. I prayed, but those who were willing to help wanted a pound of my flesh. I prayed, but I saw my dad’s family succeeding at hurting us.

When I stopped going to school because I couldn’t pay my fees and my two brothers were out on the street trying to make it on their own, I told myself, “I’m wasting my time. There’s no God.”

I left the church and stopped picking up calls from people associated with it because even they, in my hardest moment, turned their backs on me. I hit the streets too. I found ways and means on my own, some good, some bad, some illegal, but in the end, they put food on the table and promised a better tomorrow.

I went back to school to complete my course. I sent money home so my brothers could go to school again. Mom was fed and rested. When I started my national service, I met Joshua. He was my supervisor, but he became a friend. We talked about everything. I told him how I didn’t believe in God and how He was a figment of our imagination.

He screamed, “What are you saying? It’s only a fool—”

“—who says in his heart that there’s no God,” I completed the quotation for him. He looked at me and smiled. I told him my journey through the church, and he was shocked. He said he would lead me back to Christ again. He said, “It’s God who brought you here because He knew you’d meet me.” I answered, “It’s because I was able to do bad things to afford education that I’m able to meet you. If I had followed God, I wouldn’t have met you.”

I liked him so much, so I listened to him preach to me every day. I did what he asked and even followed him to church, where I met his pastor. He introduced me as a friend he was bringing to Christ. He called every morning for quiet time, even before I got to the office. In the evening, he would call and pray with me before I slept. He would even come to my place on weekends for Bible studies. I was doing all that because I liked him.

One day he proposed. I was about to finish service. I was expecting it, but I asked him, “Is that what God asked you to do?” He answered, “He didn’t ask me, but I feel within my spirit that it’s the right thing to do.”

We started dating, but the prayers became intense. He was bent on leading me back to Christ. We fasted every Saturday, except that I ate secretly and told him I was doing it. He met my mom. He took me to meet his people too, and they all loved me. He gave two conditions for marriage: 1) No sex before marriage. 2) I would have to give my life back to Christ and worship with him for a year before marriage. “If you do this for me, then I’ll know God’s hand is on our relationship.”

Two months later, he spent the night with me, and we got intimate. First rule broken. We prayed while having sex. It got to a point where we responded to the urgings of our flesh more than we even prayed. Then I got pregnant. When I told him, he quivered. I said, “What’s there to fear? Are we kids?”

He started ranting about what the world would say and how the church would reprimand him and take his position from him. I told him, “Then let’s get married quickly to save your religious career.” He said he wasn’t ready and that I hadn’t been able to obey the second rule. I asked, “So what do we do?” He answered, “We can’t have it.” I responded, “That’s fine. I don’t have issues.”

He gave me money, and I got rid of it. Intimacy didn’t stop, just like our pretentious prayer lives. I didn’t follow him to church like he wanted me to. I didn’t give my life to Christ the way he wanted. We dated for two years, and he still told me I’d broken rule number two, so we couldn’t get married. “Let’s go to church consistently for a year. Accept Christ truthfully, and that’s all. What’s hard about this?”

I answered, “You broke rule number one and had a baby out of it, a baby you didn’t agree to have but I’m breaking number two, so you can’t marry me? That’s fine.”

So I accepted a proposal from a man I met on my way to work. I sent Joshua a screenshot and said, “I’ve replaced you. Maybe this one will marry me with no strings attached.”

Since that message, he has been on my neck, crying and telling me not to do that to him. He said he’ll marry me in a few months. I told him I’m no longer interested in marrying him because I have another man in my life. Joshua is now looking for every opportunity to meet my new boyfriend and destroy what we’ve started.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Honestly, I have no feelings for him again. I’m trying to focus on the new one. I want to give him a chance, not because of marriage, but to see if he can make my life any better than this church rat is doing with my life. But Joshua won’t leave me alone, and I’m scared of what he’ll do to my new relationship. What’s the way forward for me? He’s very persistent and sometimes aggressive, especially when I refuse him intimacy.

—Freda

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I grew up believing my father was the greatest in the world. When my mom said no, he would give a big yes and carry me around. He took me to school, and if he couldn’t pick me up, he’d always bring me biscuits on his way back. I loved the way he doted on my mother. I prayed for a husband just like him.

That was until I started uncovering secrets buried under the covers. When I found out, I begged God to reverse whatever curse I’d brought upon myself. It turns out my father was what some in our community called a “sperm donor.”

There were many cases I heard my mum talk about with her friends concerning my dad’s behaviour. I never minded it because, well, “he is a man.” I thought that was all there was to it. I usually didn’t get to hear the full story. Until I did.

I was 30 when I found out.

My father had a 15-year-old daughter from one of his usual escapades. The girl was seated at the far end of our room, close to the door, while my dad was having breakfast. The father that he was to me, he was running away from being a father to her. The day I found her sitting there, she had come for school fees because my father had been playing hide and seek. She had travelled all the way to see him. When I returned home that day, nothing was said about her. My mother didn’t speak of it, and my father pretended it never happened.

Years later, I want to find her.

Now I’m thinking of looking for her, and maybe others who were fathered by my dad. My question is, does it make sense that I do this now, having known of her existence for almost 20 years? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

Twenty years is a long time. From where we come from, girls often marry young. That girl is probably married and living her own life. Will I be interfering? What if she had a tough upbringing because of my father’s neglect? Will I be reminding her of a painful past? Will she hate me for being his chosen daughter, the one he kept? So many questions fill my mind as I type this.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you approach it?

A part of me tells me to go for it. Another part says no.

Aside from getting to know her and others, could this quest hurt my mother? What will my father say when he finds out what I am up to?

And if I should go ahead, how do I even trace her? Will I need to go back to my parents and ask about her family?

I am sitting with all of this, turning it over in my heart.

–Dabem

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Dad, Was, Family, Man, Home, and, Baby, Factory, Outside", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "36", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/44694.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-dad-was-a-family-man-at-home-and-a-baby-factory-outside/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-11 08:43:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "157324", "lang_id": "1", "title": "As EPA Weakens Air Pollution Regulations, Black Women Stand to Face the Greatest Health Risks", "title_slug": "as-epa-weakens-air-pollution-regulations-black-women-stand-to-face-the-greatest-health-risks", "title_hash": "acd133cf932ef0b9d606e5506a19b5d1", "summary": "They already face the highest rates of asthma-related mortality in the nation. Dirtier air will make that worse.\nThe post As EPA Weakens Air Pollution Regulations, Black Women Stand to Face the Greatest Health Risks appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This story was originally reported by Jessica Kutz of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with the 19th News Network.

Rhonda Anderson has spent nearly three decades fighting for clean air and water in Detroit. As an environmental justice organizer with the Sierra Club, she led campaigns to raise awareness about lead poisoning of babies and children in the vicinity of steel mills and is part of a Clean Air Act lawsuit against the EES Coke Battery, a local industrial facility.

So watching the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) taking one step after another to weaken air pollution regulations over the last year has felt “really, pretty much devastating,” she said.

“Just looking at my little world, we’ve worked so hard to get a lot of these things recognized,” Anderson said. Most of her work has been in southwest Detroit, which has over 150 industrial facilities and some of the worst air quality in Michigan. Just a year ago, “we had a fifth grader who passed from an asthma attack,” she said.

In addition to overturning dozens of regulations aimed at reducing air pollution to save lives, the EPA has also exempted over 100 industrial facilities, including the Coke Battery plant Anderson has been fighting, from more rigorous rules to reduce pollution, created under the Biden administration.

Experts say all these moves combined favor industry while sacrificing public health—and it is Black women like Anderson, as well as their families, who stand to be harmed the most.

Black women already have the highest death rates due to asthma, a condition caused and exacerbated by air pollution. They are four times as likely to die of an asthma-related death as white men, according to a report from the Asthma and Allergy Foundation. Black children are also eight times more likely to die from an asthma attack than white children.

One of the reasons is that these women and their children also disproportionately live in medical deserts with limited health-care infrastructure and insurance. Cuts to Medicaid stand to make the risks of asthma even worse.

“We know that half of the children with asthma in the U.S. are covered by Medicaid or CHIP,” said Lynne Bosma, health equity director with the Asthma and Allergy Foundation. “If individuals that need that access lose it, they are going to struggle to get medication, specialty care access, and then emergency care as well.”

Due to their physiology, women are more likely to develop asthma in adulthood compared to men—and their asthma is also more likely to be severe. Some studies show a connection between the estrogen hormone and asthma, with girls after puberty experiencing higher rates of asthma diagnosis compared to boys. A study from 2025 found that asthma risk is also linked to pregnancy, menopause, and even the menstrual cycle.

Because women typically take on caregiving responsibilities, they are also more likely to be tasked with taking care of sick kids when their asthma flares up. This leads to more days of lost work compared to men, and a greater financial burden for women-led households.

Most recently, the EPA made headlines after the New York Times reported it would no longer calculate the cost to human health when making new regulations on particle and ozone pollution, and instead would only calculate the benefits to industry, further burdening women and their households.

An agency spokesperson told The 19th the EPA is not stopping the calculation, but simply pausing it “until our models can better reflect the smaller, more complex changes seen as these pollutants continue to decline nationwide.” The spokesperson did not respond to a follow-up question asking when the agency would release a new calculation, nor what steps it was taking to monetize the health costs.

Sarah Vogel, a senior vice president of healthy communities with the Environmental Defense Fund, doesn’t buy the explanation.

“The reason they eliminated it is because air pollution has a huge impact on our health,” she said. Industries don’t like that because it shows the benefit of stricter regulations, which are more costly for polluters, she said.

The country had been slowly moving toward cleaning up the air that both causes and exacerbates this life-threatening diagnosis since the passage of the Clean Air Act in 1970, which resulted in an 80 percent drop in air pollution.

“That legislation saved more lives than any doctor could,” said Dr. Panagis Galiatsatos, a spokesperson for the American Lung Association. “It allowed people to enjoy capitalism without feeling like their lives and health are being sacrificed for it.”

Since then, he said, newer regulations have been about fine-tuning that law to better reflect the science that shows the impact pollution has on health. But by overturning those newer standards, and no longer calculating the cost to human health,

“American lives will be the cost,” he said bluntly.

While the air is no longer as toxic as it once was, air pollution is still heavily concentrated in communities of color, like Anderson’s. Across the country, majority Black and low-income communities have a disproportionately high concentration of industries and freeways that result in poor air quality, which has been linked to a higher risk for their residents of asthma and other diseases.

Anderson said that in her community, “I see Black women dying at a rate that I would only describe as shameful.” She believes the pollution she grew up with may be the reason she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy. Others in her family have also been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Her observation aligns with research showing that higher rates of particle pollution have been associated with higher rates of certain kinds of breast cancer in Black women living in the Midwest. Air pollution has also been associated with a higher risk of strokes, dementia and heart disease.

For Vogel, the EPA’s latest moves are all about putting polluters’ pocketbooks ahead of people’s health.

“You’re shifting the burden of all this pollution—and they’re doing it with toxic chemicals—literally onto our bodies,” she said. “And it’s really pretty despicable when you really get down to like, who is actually benefiting here.”

$\"\"$

The post As EPA Weakens Air Pollution Regulations, Black Women Stand to Face the Greatest Health Risks appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", EPA, Weakens, Air, Pollution, Regulations, Black, Women, Stand, Face, the, Greatest, Health, Risks", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/pixel.19thnews.org/2026/02/epa-air-pollution-black-women-health?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/10/epa-air-pollution-black-women-health/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-11 07:03:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "156983", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fondness, Admiration, and Intimacy", "title_slug": "fondness-admiration-and-intimacy", "title_hash": "9b4d45a8d31ff24fee66861bb41da474", "summary": "If you feel like the honeymoon phase is over, you can bring back the magic.\nThe post Fondness, Admiration, and Intimacy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

If you feel like the honeymoon phase is over, you can bring back the magic.

The post Fondness, Admiration, and Intimacy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Fondness, Admiration, and, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Blog_Fondness-and-Admiration-Builds-Intimacy.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/fondness-admiration-and-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-11 06:35:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "156875", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Transitioning to the Kiss with a Compliment", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-transitioning-to-the-kiss-with-a-compliment", "title_hash": "dd582e0bd2010824c9da5ad70d34709a", "summary": "Easy way to transition into a kiss: let it get quiet, hold eye contact, & compliment her… THEN pull her in for a kiss. However: you must watch her signals!\nA lot of guys have a hard time transitioning into kissing girls because it feels like there’s no smooth lead-in for it.\nSo they end up just ‘going for it’.\nSometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"compliment$ Easy way to transition into a kiss: let it get quiet, hold eye contact, & compliment her… THEN pull her in for a kiss. However: you must watch her signals!

A lot of guys have a hard time transitioning into kissing girls because it feels like there’s no smooth lead-in for it.

So they end up just ‘going for it’.

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Transitioning, the, Kiss, with, Compliment", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/kiss-compliment-transition-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-transitioning-kiss-compliment", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-11 06:27:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "156662", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Left When I Went To Live in My Father’s House, Now She Wants Me Back", "title_slug": "she-left-when-i-went-to-live-in-my-fathers-house-now-she-wants-me-back", "title_hash": "cff1a626d1db11145463d6effc898aaa", "summary": "I met Freda in 2019, and we started dating that same year. At the time, my life was simple and structured. I lived alone, worked a decent job, and earned …", "content": "

I met Freda in 2019, and we started dating that same year. At the time, my life was simple and structured. I lived alone, worked a decent job, and earned a salary that didn’t make me rich but kept me afloat. It paid my bills, allowed me to support my family, and still left room for me to support my girlfriend. I was content. I believed stability, not excess, was enough to build a future.

Freda had an HND at the time, and one evening she told me she wanted to do a top-up program on weekends so she could earn a degree and qualify for better job opportunities. I didn’t hesitate. I encouraged her fully. I bought the forms, filled them out for her, and when she gained admission, I paid her first semester’s fees without her asking. It felt natural. I was invested, not just in her, but in the version of her she wanted to become.

To her, I was the ideal man. She said I was thoughtful, calm, caring, and generous. She often mentioned that even though I didn’t earn much, the little I had, I shared freely with her. That mattered to her. She also liked to say I was the only Ga man she had met who was calm and collected. Those words meant something to me then. I felt seen. I felt appreciated.

Then 2020 came, and with it, COVID.

The lockdown changed everything. Midway through 2020, I lost my job. Just like that. Months later, in early 2021, my landlord increased the rent when it was time for renewal. By then, I had exhausted my savings trying to survive. I had no option but to move back to my father’s house temporarily, just to breathe and regroup.

That was when Freda began to change.

She grew distant, colder, less responsive. The warmth that once flowed effortlessly between us started to dry up. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she didn’t like the fact that I had moved back to my parents’ house. I explained that it was only temporary, that I was working on getting back on my feet. She said she understood, but her actions told a different story.

The calls reduced. The messages slowed. The affection disappeared.

I refused to sit idle, so I started using my accounting degree to consult for small and medium-scale businesses. The money wasn’t much, but it gave me something to hold on to. I had purpose, dignity, hope. Even then, I still supported her when I could, until one day she withdrew completely. My calls went unanswered for days. My messages were met with delayed replies and excuses like, “I’m busy with work and school.”

I saw the signs clearly. And instead of begging, I began withdrawing emotionally too.

When she could no longer wait for me to leave on my own, she ended the relationship herself. Her words were calm and detached:
\n“You did nothing wrong. You’re a good person, but at this point, I don’t feel the vibe anymore, so I want to leave.”

I had already prepared myself. The pain existed, but it wasn’t overwhelming. I accepted it quietly and focused on rebuilding my life.

Then something changed. I met a man named Mr. Appiah, who owned a large supermarket. That meeting altered my trajectory. He offered me a contract to prepare his monthly financials and tax returns. The pay wasn’t great, but he believed in me. He took my CV and promised to help me find something better.

A week later, I received a call from an accounting consulting firm in Accra. They needed a chartered accountant. I wasn’t fully qualified yet, but I was at my final level. Because of Mr. Appiah’s recommendation, they hired me and gave me one year to complete my qualification. I didn’t disappoint. When I qualified, I was confirmed as a full-time employee. The salary was good. There was a rent allowance. I was given a company car. For the first time in a long while, life felt balanced again.

One day, I visited my younger brother at his hostel. As he came to meet me at the car park, he recorded a video of me in the car and posted it on his status. That single post reopened a chapter I thought was closed. Freda saw it. Two years after our breakup, she reached out for the first time. She told me how proud she was of me, how she hadn’t been able to move on since she left, how she regretted her decision. I listened quietly. Then she asked if we could get back together.

I left her on blue-tick.

Early last year, I received a partial scholarship to study for my master’s degree in the United States. I posted my first class presentation on my status, and once again, she resurfaced. This time with complaints: “So, are we now enemies that you travelled out of the country and could not tell me?”

I replied calmly, “Tell you as my what? My mother or my wife?”

She said I was rude. I told her I was avoiding gold diggers in my life. Her reply was, “Wow.” I left it there.

I didn’t block her. She can keep watching. When I was down and struggling, I didn’t monitor her life. I focused on rebuilding myself. If watching my progress is all she has now, she’s welcome to it.

I’m currently completing my program, and a Fintech company where I interned is waiting for me to join them full-time. Looking back, I’m grateful to God, for the tough days that taught me gratitude; for the little wins that restored my confidence; and for the unmerited favour that placed helpers like Mr. Appiah in my path.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’m sharing this story for any brother going through something similar. If someone goes cold on you because of your current situation, let them go. Focus on your grind. Win quietly. Build steadily. When the light comes, people will be attracted—but remember, don’t pull back those who abandoned you in the darkness.

—Nii

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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$\"how$ You don’t want gold diggers and you don’t want to simp. But you must look successful to girls to attract the choicest women. These 5 rules show you how to pull off the balancing act.

Women are attracted to successful guys.

\n\n\n

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My father died a few weeks ago in Togo, and ever since that phone call, I have felt like grief has been competing with rage inside my chest. Some days, grief wins. Other days, it is anger that refuses to sit quietly. I am thirty years old, and until the last two years of my father’s life, Togo was almost a foreign country to us, even though part of him hailed from there.

My dad was born and raised in Ghana. His life was here. His friends were here. His children were born here. If you asked him where home was, he never hesitated to mention Accra. In all my years of growing up, I can count on one hand how many times he ever mentioned going to his hometown in Togo. It was never a place he spoke about with longing or attachment. His world revolved around his three daughters, all girls, all hopelessly devoted to him.

My father was not a great husband. That truth sits plainly on the table. My mother and he divorced years ago. But as a father, he was exceptional. He lived sacrificially for us. He made sure we lacked nothing. He showed up. He loved loudly. If “daddy’s girl” had a textbook definition, my sisters and I were it. He adored us, and we adored him right back.

When he fell ill, everything in our lives rearranged itself around his condition. Hospital visits became routine. Expensive medications became normal. Conversations revolved around test results, specialists, and next steps. Two of us lived abroad, and the third was still in school and later doing her national service. We did what we could from where we were, pouring money, time, and emotional energy into making sure he got better.

Eventually, reality forced a hard decision. He needed full-time care, the kind we could not provide in Ghana given our circumstances. That was how he ended up living with his sister in Togo about two and a half years ago. It was never meant to be permanent. It was meant to be care, nothing more.

His sister surprised me. In fact, she humbled me. She took care of him in ways I will forever be grateful for. She was meticulous with his medications, diligent with his hospital appointments, and patient with the indignities illness sometimes brings, including incontinence. Her husband, her mother, and a few cousins from her maternal side also supported. For all those years, it was us; the children, handling the finances, and them handling the daily care.

What still haunts me is this: in those two and a half years, not a single person from my father’s paternal family reached out. No phone calls. No messages. No concern. Nothing. Silence so loud it now rings in my ears. Then my father died. And suddenly, the silence broke.

Now they have appeared in full force, armed with opinions, authority, and demands. They want to control his funeral. They want to dictate every detail. They want to do it with our money, yet they have contributed nothing. The audacity alone is painful, but what has broken us completely is their insistence that my father must be buried in Togo.

Their explanation is culture. Ewe culture, they say. A man who dies in his hometown cannot be taken elsewhere for burial. To do so is taboo. They insist this rule is absolute. That if we defy it, four people will be sacrificed. They say it calmly, as though they are talking about weather. What they refuse to hear is my father’s voice.

My father begged us, several times, to bring him back to Accra. Even on the very day he died, he said he wanted to come home. We were already making arrangements for him to return that weekend. He missed his home. He missed his friends. He missed familiarity. It had nothing to do with mistreatment. He said it himself that there was a language barrier, food differences, and a deep loneliness that sickness made worse.

We explained all this to his paternal family. We told them his wishes. We told them our pain. We told them that my sister and I cannot even make it to Togo. That his friends, his church, and the people who truly loved him cannot attend a funeral there. That we want to be close to his grave so we can visit him, talk to him, and grieve properly. They refused to budge.

I have never regretted being associated with a family the way I do now. People who never cared for my father while he was alive are now obsessed with controlling him in death. They have caused us more pain than his illness ever did. I haven’t seen my father in over five years, and now they want to deny us even a dignified farewell.

It has made me ask questions I never thought I would ask. Why do extended families, especially those who barely cared, suddenly adore the dead? Why does death awaken a sense of ownership that life never inspired? And is there any legal or traditional way in Ghana to denounce family ties when those ties do nothing but harm?

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

My mother is not part of this story. They divorced long ago. And for those wondering why I hadn’t seen my father in so many years, life happened. School happened. Immigration happened. I had planned to come home this December. Death arrived before I could.

Now I am left with grief, anger, and a desperate need for justice, not revenge, not war, just respect for the man my father was and the life he lived. All I want is to bury my father with dignity, love, and truth.

—Sandy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My husband doesn’t want to hear anything about my mom. He says my mother is a witch and that she is the reason for his current predicament. What did my mom do?

My husband likes motorbikes. He’s been riding ever since I met him. He gave me my first-ever motor ride. I didn’t like the experience, so I didn’t do it twice. He can travel from Accra to Kumasi on a bike. To him, that’s life.

My mom was a little bit concerned, and she spoke to me about it. She asked me to tell my husband to buy a car instead of riding bikes around town. I didn’t tell him until my mom came to me saying she had a dream in which my husband had a serious accident that led to his death. She asked me to tell him. That too, I didn’t tell him.

I knew how my husband behaved when it came to him and his bikes. Unbeknownst to me, my mom had told my husband about the dream and had warned him to stop riding. My husband didn’t mind her.

One early morning, I was sitting with my mom when my husband walked by with his helmet in his hands. He told us he was going to town and would come back later in the evening. My mom said, “Kwabena, listen to me and park the bike ooo. Your kids are too young.”

My husband didn’t return home in one piece that day. We got the news and went to the hospital to see him badly damaged and almost mangled. I cried. I thought he wouldn’t make it through the night, but as each day passed slowly, the broken bones healed. The bruises grew scabs and, slowly, he got back on his feet again. He could walk but was never the same again.

He walked with a limp while carrying the scars of that day around his face and all over his body. He started fighting with my mom while he was at the hospital. He sacked my mom from the ward once and warned her never to come back again. He told me, “You can follow her if you don’t understand.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

My mom doesn’t come to us again, but anytime I tell my husband I’m going home, it turns into a fight. To the extent that one day, he asked me to go and come back no more. He locked me out. Had it not been for the kids, we would have slept outside. How can I manage a situation like this without breaking my home and without abandoning my mom?

—Beatrice

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I finally walked out of my eight-year relationship. He was my first boyfriend, and my heart beat for him. Whenever I saw him, a smile would form on my face. He was my muse, the sugar in my tea. I had pictured a future where I could tell anyone who cared to know that we had been together for this long, and still, I loved him. I loved him with everything in me—my heart, my mind, my very soul. Every part of me belonged to that man.

I could not support him financially, but I was there for him emotionally and physically. I gave him my shoulder to lean on and my chest to lay his head on. Sometimes I would cook with my own money and invite him over. He would eat, use me, and then say, “Adjoa, I’m going,” throwing his shirt over his shoulder as he wiped his mouth and walked out the door.

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He started building his house because I encouraged him to. He had found a good job and was earning well, so I told him he should build his own home instead of living in a family house. In a way, I was preparing my own path to become his wife. He got a piece of land and began the project. Because of that, I never asked him for anything. I believed all his money was going into the building, so I learned to manage on my own.

He had promised to marry me before he started the project, but he finished it without even telling me when he began or when it was completed.

My boyfriend loved money. Everything was about money. He was the type of man who would write on his social media status, “We left home to feed home.” Everything about him smelled of money. If it was not about money, then anything I did was senseless to him. But I did everything anyway.

After the building project was completed, I asked him when he would come to see my family. Guess what he said. He said he did not know. I told him I did not understand his answer, and he said he could not promise me anything. I even involved some of his family members, but they were afraid of him. All they could say was, “If he says he will come to see your parents, relax. He will come.”

He cheated on me. I forgave him and stayed. Once, he slapped me because I had a call and did not answer it. I forgave him. The cheating felt like it happened every day and night. I was treating infections constantly, like I was changing diapers. Whenever I went to the hospital to get treated, I had to beg him to come with me so we could both get help.

I was getting so frustrated. I was emotionally drained because I was the only one carrying the relationship in my heart and on my shoulders.

Because he had introduced me to his mother, when he went back to cheating, I told her. Guess what she said. She told me I was listening to other people too much. She said I was the woman he had introduced to her, so I should keep quiet and not worry. Even if he goes, she said, he will come back.

He was a man I had always prayed for, always gone on my knees for. Whenever things were not going well for him and I tried to encourage him, he would say, “Shut up. What do you know? You don’t know what you’re saying. I need money, and look at what you’re saying.” That day, I felt so sad. I told him that even if what I was saying was nonsense, he could at least say thank you.

I do not know the right word to describe him, but he did not care about how I felt or what I did. It was draining. I would call and he would not answer. He would not call back or offer any explanation. I would text him on WhatsApp, he would read it, and he would not respond. I kept complaining about how it was affecting me. I was always begging him to love me.

Whenever I asked him if he did not want me anymore, he would say, “Oh, I love you.” When I tried to talk things through, he would tell me he was not the talking type. But with his friends and female friends, he was so lovely and full of conversation.

People thought he was taking care of me. Whenever they saw me, they would say, “Ei, Kwesi is really taking care of you.” I covered up for him. I introduced him to my uncle, and whenever my uncle asked when he would come to our house, I made excuses. I said he was busy with his project and would come later. I made so many excuses for him that I began to feel like a fool.

Two years ago, I decided to choose myself because I was losing my mind. Whenever I texted and he did not respond, I would rant, cry, and fall asleep. It started small. Then I reached a point where I stopped complaining. I would text, he would not respond, and slowly I stopped texting altogether. We could go a whole week without hearing from each other. It was not easy for me. I always cried when I was alone. But I was getting tired, and that tiredness became my motivation.

One day, I asked him to help me get a wardrobe. I did not even finish talking before he said no. Just like that. That is how it had been all those years. No. I did not see anything wrong with it at first because I told myself I was not his responsibility, but I believed I at least deserved some kindness. Whenever he was sick, he would come to me to take care of him. I gave him all the care and love I had, even the love I never received myself. He did not care. Everything was about him.

Today, I am here, and I can confidently say that I have walked out of that eight-year relationship for good. We had bought necessary items for marriage, but I asked him to come pick them up. I took my spare keys back from him that same day. It has been four months now, and not a single day have I thought about him. I am done, and I am done for good.

He lost his job recently. I am not entirely happy for this misfortune, but I pray and hope that he meets someone who is exactly like him. Someone who behaves the way he did, so he feels what I felt—what it means to love and not be loved back—and finally understands what it means not to value what you have until it is lost.

His mother has been calling me a lot, telling me stories. She says, “When you met my son, he was not working. You stayed and nurtured him. Now he has been able to build a big house, and just as things are getting better, you want to leave so another woman can come and enjoy? My son is this, my son is that. Nowhere is perfect. Be hopeful and pray. Do not listen to what people will say, because the moment you leave, another woman will come and enjoy your labor.”

My answer is simple: “Ma, I have heard all you have said, but I have made up my mind. If another woman comes and does not have to beg for the things I have been begging for, I will be happy for her. But for me, I am no longer interested.”

This was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I was just tired. Now I understand why some women do not want to be with struggling men. Not all men are like that, but when this man started making money, I truly saw who he was.

I am free now. I do not cry about him anymore. I am not waiting for his calls. His contact is blocked and unsaved. It is so funny that this same man, who treated me like a calamity for months, can now remember all the things I used to do for him. Now that I have stopped, he is using every possible way to reach me. I am not in any new relationship, but I am never going back.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I am a good woman. A truly good one. I was there for him. He did not value me, so I have left. It is his loss.

I am out of here.

—Adjoa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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I was on a call with my husband. He was on a trip and was calling to check on me and the kids. He called late every night, but this night, he said he was very tired, so he was calling early so he could sleep early. We talked for about ten minutes. He talked to the kids too and said goodnight, and I also did.

He didn’t cut the call. I also didn’t cut it. For several minutes, it was quiet on the phone. Just when I was about to cut it, I heard a lady’s voice. She spoke Ewe. I didn’t understand Ewe, but I hung on to listen to what was going on. For three minutes, these people kept talking in a language I didn’t understand, so I decided to record it.

My husband hadn’t been innocent when it came to cheating. Twice in our marriage, we’ve had arguments about one lady or another I suspected he was cheating with. He called me insecure and said it was in my head. In one of those instances, he told me I was suffocating him with marriage. “Because I’m married to you, I shouldn’t talk to any woman? I shouldn’t be friends with any woman because you’re my wife?”

The lady in question wasn’t just any woman. I’d seen messages that suggested their relationship wasn’t just normal, but because there was nothing explicit in the messages, he denied it and called me a jealous wife. And then there was another lady called Fafa. My husband is an Ewe, and I’m an Ashanti. I don’t speak Ewe, so whenever I heard him speaking on the phone, he told me he was talking to his mother.

Facial expressions and tone of voice didn’t sound like he was talking to his mother, but my husband insisted he was talking to his mother or an uncle or even his sister. He would then carry the call outside and later come and tell me it was a family matter. One day, I got angry and snatched his phone to check the number to see if it was his mother indeed. It turned into a struggle between us. He won and took his phone from me.

The next person he called was my dad. “Come and see what your daughter is doing here. I don’t know what has come over her. If he doesn’t take care, this marriage will collapse because of her witchcraft.”

He called me a witch in front of my own dad. My dad called me later and asked what was going on. I hadn’t discussed my marriage with any soul, but that day, I told my dad everything in tears. “I know he’s cheating. He’s cheating in his language so I don’t get to hear or see it.” My dad said, “You don’t fight a cheating man who’s trying to hide his sins. You wait. Time reveals everything. The truth will come to you when you least expect it.”

Close to a year later, my husband had forgotten to cut the call after talking to me. I put my phone on charge, put my earpiece in my ears, and listened to my own heartbreak. They would speak English and later turn to Ewe. The lady brought food and told him she was putting it in the fridge. She asked my husband, “Aren’t you feeling cold without a shirt on in this weather?” My husband responded, “You’re here, how would I feel cold?”

I think my husband entered the bath, so the room was very quiet for a while. When he returned, he said something like, “That’s a good view. You see why you drive me crazy?” I don’t know what he was seeing that was a good view. The next thing I heard was the lady moaning and my husband speaking to her in Ewe in hushed tones.

For an hour and six minutes, I was on the phone listening and crying. It was like eating sweet but pepperish food. It burns and you cry but can’t stop eating it. I was crying but couldn’t cut the line. I wanted him to know I was on the line. I even shouted on the phone, “Hello, hello, you see God has removed your cloth?” He didn’t hear me talk. When he finally picked up his phone and realized it was still ringing, he shouted in Ewe and cut the call.

I had the whole recording and cried the whole night. It was like I was in the same room witnessing what was going on. I replayed what happened. My intention was to send the audio to a friend to interpret the Ewe part for me, but it was not needed. The little English part and the moaning told the whole story.

In the morning, he called me, and I played it cool like I didn’t know what happened. He asked if I slept early last night, and I told him I slept immediately after we finished talking. He was probing to see if I heard anything, if I would ask any question about what I’d found out, but I played my innocence before him while holding on to the evidence.

When he returned, I didn’t even wait for him to sit, and I started playing his audio back to him through a Bluetooth speaker. He shook his head and left the hall to the bedroom. I followed him with the speaker. I said, “You can’t listen to your own voice again? Call me insecure. Go ahead, tell me it’s in my head.”

He moved to the bathroom and I followed. He went to the kitchen and I followed. He went outside and I followed. He left through the main gate, and I came back home because of the kids. He came back around 12 a.m. to meet me in the hall waiting. Immediately he sat down, I put on the speaker. He asked, “What’s that for?” I answered, “Answer to your sins. Is that also in my head?”

I was expecting an apology or a man who would break down and cry because he’d been found out. He didn’t do that but rather got angry that I was pursuing him around. The next day, I called his dad and told him everything. Do you know what he told his dad? He said what I recorded wasn’t him but the TV he was watching, and the moaning was coming from the adult movie he was watching.

When his dad told me, I laughed. I traveled to their home with my speaker to play it to his dad and mom. They could understand the Ewe part. I didn’t need to hear them say anything. What was in their heads was clearly written on their faces. They apologized to me and told me they would call him to order.

A week later, my husband hadn’t apologized or said anything to me. He was acting as if it didn’t matter. So I locked the door one evening and asked him to go back to the lady he made moan. He knocked a thousand times; I didn’t open. He left, and I saw him two days later. I asked, “Are you coming for your things? Don’t worry, I’ve folded the ones I could fold. It’s easy. Carry them away.”

When he stepped out later, I locked the door again. His dad called. I talked to his mom. My dad also called to ask me to open the door. I said to them, “I no longer need him in this house. He should go and marry that lady. Obviously, he wants a woman who can moan in his language.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

It all sounded like I was just angry, but one day, he packed out and hasn’t come back. He calls to talk to the children. He offered some lousy apology that sounded like he was talking to a child. In my mind, heart, and soul, this marriage is over. The fact that I’ve had the courage to share it here, where I know he can read it, tells me I’ve let him go. Too much disrespect for my feelings. This gaslighting from him is meant for a fool and not me, with all my wisdom. I’m not a bad woman. I don’t deserve this at all, and I won’t take it even from the man I’ve loved with all my heart.

—Alberta

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I’ve been following recent stories about taboo relationships and the belief that these actions automatically bring spiritual consequences. In many societies, there’s a strong conviction that certain personal choices lead to inevitable, unseen punishments.

I read the story of the woman whose man slept with both her and her sister. It made me think, and I want to share my own story. An adventure.
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In our part of the world, many people believe these things have deep repercussions. Others do not. I count myself among those who do not, because I engaged in similar acts years ago without witnessing any supernatural effects. That’s not to say I’m proud of it, or that I encourage anyone to do the same. I’m simply sharing an observation from my own life.

I’m almost fifty now. Back then, I was quite a catch, so I had women at my fingertips. I was confident, had a good job, and knew how to talk to women. Looking back, I think it was equal parts charm and recklessness.

About nineteen years ago, I did something that started it all. I had an affair with a girl and her sister. It started with the eldest, who was my muse. We’d been dating for about six months when I met her younger sister at a family gathering. Then I set eyes on the youngest one. She was a different kind of muse, one I couldn’t let go of, so I chased after her. The attraction was instant, almost magnetic. She was aware that her elder sister and I were dating, but she still agreed to be with me. I remember the first time we were alone together. There was this tension in the air, this unspoken understanding that we were crossing a line. But neither of us stopped it.

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I had even more encounters with the younger sister than with the older one. We’d meet at odd hours, at different locations, always careful not to get caught. All these years later, both women are doing fine in their lives. They have husbands, children, stable finances. I’m doing fine too. There have been no repercussions that I can see. No mysterious illnesses, no financial ruin, no family tragedies. Just normal life continuing.

Then, twelve years ago, I had another affair, this time with two sisters who were our neighbors. Again, it started with the older one before it included the younger. We lived in the same compound, so it was easy to create opportunities. Neither was aware I was involved with the other. I’d visit the older one on weekdays, claiming to borrow something or drop off something. The younger one, I’d see on weekends when she came home from university. To my knowledge, there have been no repercussions for any of us. They both got married, moved away, started families.

Somewhere in the 1990s, I had a relationship with a woman in her mid-forties. Her first son was my age, but she didn’t care. We were actually friends, played football together on weekends. The irony wasn’t lost on me, but it didn’t stop me either. She was lonely, her husband was always traveling for work, and I was young and available. I didn’t care either. Age was just a number, after all. She was lonely, her husband traveled a lot for work, and I was young and eager.

Later, I liked her daughters and went after them too. There were two of them, all in their twenties. I had all of them in my bed at different times. We had several encounters over the course of about two years. It sounds impossible, I know, but when you live in close proximity and there’s mutual attraction, these things happen more easily than you’d think.

Eventually, their mother discovered my relationship with one of the daughters. I think she saw a text message on the girl’s phone. She complained. She nagged. She threatened to tell my family. But in the end, she took no real action, and so my affairs with all three of them continued. I think part of her didn’t want the scandal to come out. That was many years ago, and I don’t know of any ill effects on any of us. I haven’t heard that anything has happened to any of them either. The daughters are all married now with children of their own.

A fourth instance happened around twenty years ago, with another set of two sisters. This one was briefer, lasting maybe eight months total. Today, I’m fine, and from what I know, the women are fine too. One of them runs a successful business. The other married and moved abroad.

There were other instances involving relatives who were not direct sisters, cousins mostly, and again, everyone involved has carried on with their lives without any mysterious fallout.

I’m only citing these instances to make a point. In my experience, the idea of automatic spiritual punishment depends entirely on what you choose to believe. If you believe strongly that these actions will bring curses or bad luck, maybe they will, through the power of your own mind and guilt. But if you don’t believe it, if you simply see it as choices people make, then life goes on. I share this not out of pride, but because my reality has simply been different from the common warning.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’m not saying what I did was right. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt people, because I’m sure it did in ways I never saw or understood. But I am saying that the automatic spiritual consequences people talk about, the curses and mysterious punishments, I haven’t seen them. Not in my life, and not in the lives of the women involved, as far as I know.

Make of that what you will.

—Theo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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Little Rock

Four Arkansas women and an OB-GYN filed a lawsuit this week challenging the state’s near-total abortion ban. The case’s lead plaintiff, Emily Waldorf, was denied antibiotics and abortion care after her cervix dilated when she was 17 weeks pregnant. She was likely to develop an infection, so she was driven 240 miles by ambulance to receive miscarriage care in Kansas. The filing, which calls Arkansas’ bans “vague, confusing, and … extremely dangerous,” is one of at least four lawsuits filed by people denied care in their states.

Boston

Planned Parenthood is dropping its lawsuit against the Trump administration over the 2025 “big, beautiful bill” provision that prevented the reproductive health nonprofit from getting federal Medicaid funding. Planned Parenthood has said that nearly half its patients are insured through Medicaid, and 23 of its clinics closed as a result of the spending bill. The provision blocking Medicaid funding to Planned Parenthood and other clinics that provide family planning services and abortion care is set to expire in early July.

Galveston, Texas

A Texas man wants a California doctor to pay him at least $75,000 for allegedly sending abortion pills to his ex-girlfriend, who used them to end two pregnancies. Jerry Rodriguez initially sued Dr. Remy Coeytaux in July under a Texas law against assisting in a self-managed abortion. He amended his suit this week to cite a new bounty hunter law, HB 7, which offers up to $100,000 to plaintiffs related to the fetus who sue abortion providers. This is the first time the law, which took effect in December, will be tested in court.

This news roundup first appeared in our newsletter, Rewire Weekly. Sign up here to get the latest reproductive rights news, expert analysis, and a peek into the RNG newsroom—fresh to your inbox.

The post Planned Parenthood Drops Lawsuit Against Trump Administration Over Medicaid Funding appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The U.S. has seen a massive expansion in private equity-linked fertility clinics since 2013, new research shows.

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The peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in December 2025 found that more than half of IVF cycles in the U.S. in 2023 were done at clinics affiliated with private equity firms, or investment funds that raise capital to acquire and manage companies.

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Researchers examined the relationship between private equity firms and fertility clinics in the U.S. between 2013 and 2023. They found that in 2013, less than 4 percent of fertility clinics were affiliated with private equity firms, but in the decade that followed, private equity-linked clinics soared. By the end of 2023, 32 percent of the roughly 500 clinics that shared data with the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2022 were affiliated with private equity firms. In 14 states and Washington, D.C., 50 percent of fertility clinics studied had ties to private equity by the end of 2023.

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This uptick in private equity involvement comes amid an increased focus on U.S. fertility rates.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Fertility rates have been on the decline in the U.S. since the early 2000s. In 2024, the U.S. reached its lowest-ever fertility rate, with about 1.6 kids per woman. And on the 2024 campaign trail, now-President Donald Trump said he would expand IVF (in vitro fertilization) access—a promise that remains unfulfilled.

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Research on private equity affiliations in other medical specialities has shown mixed impacts on quality of care, including poorer nurse staffing and the hiring of less experienced providers. Private equity has also been linked to increased costs for patients and insurance companies.

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Rewire News Group spoke with one of the paper’s authors, University of Michigan infertility specialist Dr. James Dupree, about private equity’s growing role in U.S. reproductive care and the impact it could have on fertility patients.

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The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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What was your most significant finding?

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What stood out to me most was that, at least using data from 2022 and 2023, it appears that now over half of the IVF cycles in the U.S. are done at clinics that are affiliated with private equity firms. We had a sense that private equity firms were affiliated with many clinics that perform IVF, but I do not think we knew exactly how many in the current state were affiliating, nor did we have a sense for the volume of IVF care that was being done at those clinics.

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Your research mentions the potential for private equity involvement in fertility care to influence costs to patients and insurers, and quality of care. What would that look like?

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We do not know in the fertility space about that balance between benefits and risks for patients. That research has not been done, to my knowledge. That’s very important research to be performed, but I haven’t seen any results speaking to that in the fertility space yet.

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Other researchers, looking in other parts of medicine … have found that cost of care might increase—either for the patient or for the insurer. There’s some limited research suggesting that there might be certain benefits to the patients—quality of care, outcomes of care. A somewhat larger body of research suggests either mixed or potentially harmful outcomes for patients associated with these types of affiliations. But again, it is important to emphasize that research has been done outside of fertility care in other parts of medicine.

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Incentives may change when ownership of the medical practice changes, and those incentives could encourage doctors and other folks in the clinic to maybe update or improve the way they practice for the betterment of patients. It is unlikely that any incentives are put in place that directly or [are] intended to harm patients. I think that’s very unlikely. But it’s possible that incentives could be put in place that might have unintended consequences, or unintended effects on patients.

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What should patients already getting fertility care know, consider, or be worried about if a private equity firm acquires their clinic?

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I don’t think we’ve seen research yet that tells us that patients need to be worried about [private equity ownership] at their clinic. It’s important to acknowledge there could be benefits associated with private equity firms affiliating with fertility clinics as well. That’s certainly possible.

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It is, for example, expensive to run a laboratory that does IVF. There’s a lot of very expensive equipment, a lot of training, and a lot of quality improvement efforts that are necessary to run an IVF lab. You can imagine that … when [a private equity firm] comes in and affiliates with a clinic, it will invest capital, and that capital could be used to improve the laboratory equipment. It could be used to implement quality improvement structures or do additional training for the staff.

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So there absolutely could be benefits as well. I’m not ready to say that there’s anything that patients should worry about, because I just don’t think that that has been shown yet.. I think it needs to be studied. It’s important to look at, given what has been seen in other parts of medicine. But it’s too soon for me to say that there are worries there.

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If you could do further research on an aspect of this issue that you weren’t able to account for, what would it be and why?

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I personally have a strong belief that patients should be able to access [fertility] care. I’d like to know, after a clinic affiliates with a private equity firm, does that improve their access, or in any way limit their access? That research hasn’t been done. You could imagine that with the capital that comes from a private equity firm, clinics may be able to open satellite clinics that are able to reach patients further away that were struggling to access their care before. Or maybe it allows them to hire additional health-care providers that are able to help see more patients. We don’t know.

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I’d love to look at costs for the patient, costs for the insurer. And especially given what has been found in other fields, look and see if costs increase, which has been found in several other parts of medicine.

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And the most important thing that I’d like to look at, if budget was no limitation, is outcomes for patients. Patients that are doing IVF care are hoping to have a baby—hoping to build their family—which is a really powerful and really important outcome that they are seeking. It’s really important to know: Do those outcomes improve?

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What should patients think about when deciding where to go for fertility care based on your research findings?

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It’s important for them to look for clinics that are members of the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. A lot of those clinics are dedicated to quality improvement. I would encourage patients to look for clinics that have experience doing IVF.

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[And] this is more about the actual health-care providers than the clinic broadly, but that [patients] end up getting cared for with a provider that they feel like they mesh well with, and that they can establish trust with.

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Going through IVF is really difficult. It’s difficult financially, emotionally, physically. It’s not necessarily an easy treatment for patients to receive. The connection between the patient and their health-care provider is really important.

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The post Fertility Clinics See Explosive Growth in Private Equity Money: Study appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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“Did you know sx isn’t supposed to hurt?” read the words on an Instagram reel posted by the sexual health and wellness company The Pelvic People in early 2025.

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At first glance, the missing “e” looks like a typo. But it’s not. A scroll through the Pelvic People’s Instagram page and others like it on the social media platform reveals videos littered with words like “s*x,” “lub3,” and “c00chie.”

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Commonly referred to as “algospeak,” this popular form of online lingo exists to sidestep algorithms employed by tech companies like Meta, TikTok, and X that penalize or even remove posts for discussing sensitive topics like sex, mental health, or substance use.

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Posts perform better with “a little bit of censorship,” said Emily Tran, social media manager at the Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center, who uses the center’s Instagram, @pelvichealth, to share evidence-based information about sexual health.

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“If I were to write something about female anatomy and use the correct terms, [the algorithm] might flag it and say that it’s inappropriate,” Tran added.

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The algorithm would then reduce the post’s visibility, leading to a decline in engagement—something Tran said happened to the account before she started using algospeak.

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Creators who discuss sensitive topics often see this kind of self-censorship as essential to posting freely without losing engagement. But, experts said in interviews with Rewire News Group, censored language like algospeak can feed the stigma around these topics and even pose threats to sexual health. And recent research has cast doubt on whether using algospeak actually improves their social media visibility.

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Censorship begets censorship

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Researchers at the University of St. Cyril and Methodius in Slovakia gathered the most recent 50 Instagram posts from nine sex education accounts that post in English, Slovak, or Czech. They analyzed the likes, comments, and shares on a total of 450 posts to understand overall engagement.

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The resulting study, which was published in the journal Media Literacy and Academic Research in June 2025, found no statistically significant decrease in likes and shares between posts that did not use algospeak compared with those that did.

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Researchers also found a slightly lower number of comments on posts not using algospeak, which they attributed to other potential factors, such as uncensored videos having a more academic tone.

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Another limiting factor, the study’s lead author, Michal Kabát said in an interview with Rewire News Group, was that “the accounts don’t use the algospeak consistently.” Still, because a given account often posts content both with and without algospeak, it’s unlikely that his study’s findings are simply explained by more popular accounts using less algospeak.

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Ultimately, algospeak is probably an unnecessary precaution for sex education accounts, Kabát said.

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“[People] feel this obligation to fit in some unwritten rules somehow,” Kabát said.

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Promoting censorship of sexual language reinforces taboos about sex and frames sexual organs as inappropriate to acknowledge, Kabát said.

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“This is not helping to establish open, clear, and taboo-less communication,” Kabát added.

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If a topic is portrayed online as forbidden to talk about openly, Kabát said, “[viewers] won’t talk about it either, they won’t use the words, or they’ll also start auto-censoring themselves.”

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It’s a phenomenon he said he’s already observed in comment sections, where users, despite having no need to worry about engagement, parrot back the same algospeak used in a post.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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Why language matters

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Sex education is lacking in many school systems in the United States and around the world. Often, the curriculum centers on teaching people to avoid sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies without much discussion of anatomy and sexual health.

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Social media can fill in these gaps for many young people by making reliable sexual health information accessible. However, censoring language around these topics online can obstruct clear communication and lead to feelings of shame around uncensored sexual language.

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This practice may be especially harmful to those assigned female at birth. People with female anatomy more commonly report experiencing feelings of shame about their genitalia than those with male anatomy,, and studies show that parents often use euphemisms like “down there” and “private parts” when talking about the female genitalia to their children. As a result, even young children are more likely to know the actual names for male genitalia than female genitalia.

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This linguistic discomfort with the female anatomy is visible even on TV. For example, a 2023 review of the censorship of the word “vagina” found that network broadcasting officials required the show Grey’s Anatomy to replace the word “vagina” with “vajayjay.” Meanwhile, the word “penis” was said 17 times in a single episode.

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That kind of censorship can have real-world impacts on sexual health: “Cryptic language can unintentionally reinforce the idea that sexuality and genital anatomy is shameful,” said Taylor Roebotham, a gynecologist at London Health Sciences Centre in Ontario, Canada. Many of her patients already struggle to explain their symptoms, she added, often because patients lack the language to do so.

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“I’ve had patients say that they had a problem with their vagina, using the only word that they know for that area of the body,” Roebotham said. “But on exam, they actually had a more musculoskeletal problem with their pubic bone.”

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Communication issues like this can delay care because clinicians may refer patients to the wrong specialist or investigate the incorrect area of the body.

\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, stigma can stop patients from seeking care at all.

\n\n\n\n

A 2024 study using interviews with patients with vulvar lichen sclerosus, a chronic skin condition that causes pain, itching, and discoloration to the genitals, found that many participants experienced diagnostic delays because they were uncomfortable talking about their genitals with providers or didn’t even notice there was an issue in the first place.

\n\n\n\n

“Some of the women in my study said that they didn’t even think they were supposed to … acknowledge the existence of their vulva,” said Sophie Rees, a social scientist at the University of Bristol who co-authored the 2024 study.

\n\n\n\n

How to avoid algospeak

\n\n\n\n

It might seem like Kabát’s study points to ending algospeak altogether as the obvious solution.

\n\n\n\n

But for many sex education creators, getting rid of algospeak completely may not feel like a real possibility. Social media companies are often vague about their content restriction policies, and it’s never quite clear what kind of posts will get them flagged, downvoted, or even banned. For those who earn a living creating content, the threat of financial loss can make uncensored language too great of a risk without clearer content guidelines.

\n\n\n\n

Meta, the company that owns Instagram and Facebook, has also been criticized for enforcing its policies inconsistently and failing to provide explanations when posts are restricted. The company has promised to communicate the reasons for restrictions to content, Kabát said, but users themselves claim this doesn’t always happen. Research shows that “shadowbanning,” where a platform reduces the visibility of a user’s posts without notifying them, leaving them aware only of the sudden drop in engagement that results, is prevalent on Instagram.

\n\n\n\n

Tran, whose job it is to get evidence-based information about sexual health to the public, tries to use algospeak that looks as similar as possible to the language it’s replacing, she said, to avoid making the censorship distracting. “We just want to push out information that we think should be accessible to all,” Tran said, “while creating a community that wants to engage and have conversations.”

\n\n\n\n

Even so, experts warn that in the long run, the risks of using algospeak may outweigh the benefits.

\n\n\n\n

“If creators collectively returned to medically accurate terminology, would sexual health content disappear entirely? Probably not,” Roebotham said. “Even if algorithms prefer censored language, they still need content, and we should be flooding them with thoughtful information.”

\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n\n

The post Sex Educators Are Self-Censoring Online to Avoid Content Bans. Does it Work? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Sex, Educators, Are, Self-Censoring, Online, Avoid, Content, Bans., Does, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Unnecessary-Algospeak-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/09/sex-educators-are-self-censoring-online-to-avoid-content-bans-does-it-work/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-10 03:05:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155160", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Have Low Conflict Conversations about Money and Enhance Intimacy", "title_slug": "have-low-conflict-conversations-about-money-and-enhance-intimacy", "title_hash": "eaad10b0ffd7f6644fa9ac1da327c453", "summary": "Money doesn’t have to cause tension. Discover how low-conflict money conversations can build trust, emotional safety, and deeper intimacy.\nThe post Have Low Conflict Conversations about Money and Enhance Intimacy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Money doesn’t have to cause tension. Discover how low-conflict money conversations can build trust, emotional safety, and deeper intimacy.

The post Have Low Conflict Conversations about Money and Enhance Intimacy appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Have, Low, Conflict, Conversations, about, Money, and, Enhance, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/large-Lets-Talk-About-Money_Green-BG_1200x800-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/have-low-conflict-conversations-about-money-and-enhance-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:57:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155159", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Butterflies Are For Beginners", "title_slug": "butterflies-are-for-beginners", "title_hash": "cfef2792a590f5a05246f21f2ac80d96", "summary": "Feeling butterflies is an exciting part of new love, but lasting love doesn't just happen. It is something you build as a couple.\nThe post Butterflies Are For Beginners appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Feeling butterflies is an exciting part of new love, but lasting love doesn't just happen. It is something you build as a couple.

The post Butterflies Are For Beginners appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Butterflies, Are, For, Beginners", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/GettyImages-2235188584.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/butterflies-are-for-beginners/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:57:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155032", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Master Chaotic Night Game & Avoid Common Pitfalls", "title_slug": "how-to-master-chaotic-night-game-avoid-common-pitfalls", "title_hash": "656d29e687f086145f340550d8547b67", "summary": "Chaotic night game can be a minefield or a goldmine. This advanced guide reveals how to control the chaos for consistent success while dodging its major pitfalls.\nHey guys.\nWelcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"navigating$ Chaotic night game can be a minefield or a goldmine. This advanced guide reveals how to control the chaos for consistent success while dodging its major pitfalls.

Hey guys.

Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Master, Chaotic, Night, Game, Avoid, Common, Pitfalls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/chaotic-nightlife-pickup-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-master-chaotic-night-game-avoid-common-pitfalls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:47:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155033", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Girls Will Auto-Reject You If You Don't Move Fast Enough", "title_slug": "girls-will-auto-reject-you-if-you-dont-move-fast-enough", "title_hash": "6836f25394300af55e697f2e7abeff66", "summary": "You might be nervous or you might be trying to be ‘respectful’. Yet fail to move fast enough with girls and they can feel DISrespected – then auto-reject.\nI feel like this topic is covered fairly well in various articles already, but I really want to drive home the ‘missed escalation window’ and ‘auto-rejection’ connection, just so it is extra clear.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"women$ You might be nervous or you might be trying to be ‘respectful’. Yet fail to move fast enough with girls and they can feel DISrespected – then auto-reject.

I feel like this topic is covered fairly well in various articles already, but I really want to drive home the ‘missed escalation window’ and ‘auto-rejection’ connection, just so it is extra clear.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Girls, Will, Auto-Reject, You, You, Dont, Move, Fast, Enough", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/move-slow-auto-reject-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/girls-will-auto-reject-you-if-you-dont-move-fast-enough", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:47:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155031", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Locating Game Leverage Points: Where Things Drop Off w/ Girls", "title_slug": "locating-game-leverage-points-where-things-drop-off-w-girls", "title_hash": "2e0340b7bbe314a8e6d78fe5f4308063", "summary": "A leverage point is any stage in interacting with girls where – by adding the right lever – you stand to be able to dramatically improve your romantic outcomes.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"finding$ A leverage point is any stage in interacting with girls where – by adding the right lever – you stand to be able to dramatically improve your romantic outcomes.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Locating, Game, Leverage, Points:, Where, Things, Drop, Off, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/leverage-points-seduction-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/locating-game-leverage-points-where-things-drop-w-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:47:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155029", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her", "title_slug": "last-minute-valentines-day-gifts-for-her", "title_hash": "25ff4c9e045ffaaffc25be97cb2ebab5", "summary": "You know what's a terrible feeling? Waking up a few days before Valentine's Day, or even on the day itself, and realizing you've completely dropped the ball: you forgot to get your girlfriend a present. You'll instantly feel guilty (and maybe even a touch of shame) as you realize you're on the verge of letting down someone you truly care about.\nThankfully, it doesn't have to go down that way. There are plenty of ways to make up for lost time, even at the last minute.\nIf you’re in a hurry to purchase a V-Day gift, consider a subscription service. Think of subscription services as the gifts that keep on giving. Instead of receiving just one present on the 14th, a package will arrive on their doorstep every month or two.\nAs for your classic retailers, many of them understand the struggle, and offer programs that aim to take the hassle out of shopping. For example, Amazon Prime offers members free two-day delivery (free two-hour, same-day, and one-day delivery are also available in certain", "content": "You know what's a terrible feeling? Waking up a few days before Valentine's Day, or even on the day itself, and realizing you've completely dropped the ball: you forgot to get your girlfriend a present. You'll instantly feel guilty (and maybe even a touch of shame) as you realize you're on the verge of letting down someone you truly care about.\nThankfully, it doesn't have to go down that way. There are plenty of ways to make up for lost time, even at the last minute.\nIf you’re in a hurry to purchase a V-Day gift, consider a subscription service. Think of subscription services as the gifts that keep on giving. Instead of receiving just one present on the 14th, a package will arrive on their doorstep every month or two.\nAs for your classic retailers, many of them understand the struggle, and offer programs that aim to take the hassle out of shopping. For example, Amazon Prime offers members free two-day delivery (free two-hour, same-day, and one-day delivery are also available in certain areas).\nRELATED: Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\nSo, with this all said, here are some of the best last-minute Valentine's Day gifts. From casual sweet nothings to gifts of the more serious variety, get ready to knock her socks off.\n\nBest Last-Minute Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\n\nEP Jewels Heartline Ring\n\nThere's basically never a good time to give her jewelry, but finding something classy, well made, and reasonably affordable can be difficult. We love EP Jewels, as their catalogue is basically full of romantic necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings, like this elegant heart ring.\n$115 at EPJewels.com\nLe Labo Shower Gel, Mandarin\n\nWhile spring still feels a ways away, you can give your S.O. that fresh spring feeling with this plant-based shower gel from Le Labo. Featuring a light mandarin scent and a rich lather, this gel invigorates the senses and leaves skin feeling silky smooth.\n$39 at Nordstrom.com\nUGG Coquette Slippers\n\nIf she’s constantly sticking her freezing cold toes onto you during your wintertime cuddle sessions, there’s no question that she’ll appreciate a pair of hyper warm slippers. The UGG Coquette slippers are crafted from Australian wool with a sheepskin upper and lining, which ensures her feet will stay warm without getting too hot and sweaty.\nFrom $129.95 at Amazon.com\nApple AirPods 4 with Noise Cancellation\n\n\nWhether she tunes into podcasts regularly, or just likes to jam to her favorite tunes while getting in a sweat, a pair of Bluetooth earbuds will go a long way. The Apple AirPods 4 are among the very best ever, especially now that they include active noise cancellation (once reserved for the much more expensive Pro model).\n$179 at Amazon.com.com\nOui the People's Golden Hour Bundle\n\n\nLooking for a guaranteed-to-please, intimate grooming gift to show her that you care? Pick up the Golden Hour bundle from Oui the People. It includes their award-winning Hydrating Body Gloss in Orange Blossom as well as their intoxicating SOUK HONEY Eau de Parfum, a floral gourmand with notes of neroli nectar, orange blossom and cardamom.\n$182 at OuiThePeople.com \nThe Bouqs Bouquet\n\nYes, a bouquet of flowers is a cliché Valentine’s choice, however, you can easily give your gift a thoughtful touch by selecting a bouquet of her favorite blooms. From sunflowers to tulips, Bouqs has a wide array of floral arrangements to choose from, all of which are hand-picked and sustainably sourced.\nFind out more at Bouqs.com\n\nRELATED: How to Buy Her Flowers\n\nNespresso Inissia Machine\n\nHere’s a pro tip: there’s nothing more romantic than being brought coffee in bed – and if she’s a caffeine fiend like the rest of us, this small gesture will go a very long way. The Nespresso Inissia makes quick, single-serve coffee easy; but the best part is that Nespresso somehow captures cafe-quality espresso in convenient, recyclable pods. She’ll never have to spend money on a latte again.\n$179 at Amazon.com\nSalt & Straw Cookbook - Malek & Goode\n\nWhile ice cream might not be the most common treat to indulge in in the middle of February, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy a scoop or two of the good stuff. This cookbook, based on the offerings at the Portland, OR ice cream shop of the same name, is packed with incredibly unique and always delicious ice cream flavors. \n$28 at Amazon.com\nAudible\n\nWhile she might love curling up on the couch with a great page-turner, a subscription to Audible will allow her to take her love of a great read out on the road. With a vast library of audiobooks available in all genres, and many captivating narrators, Audible provides users with a unique new outlet to soak in a piece of literature on-the-go. \nFind out more at Audible.com\nSoma Water Bottle with Silicone Sleeve\n\nStaying hydrated never looked so good. Soma’s bottles not only keep 17 ounces of water cold throughout the day, but the durable glass structure is shatter-resistant. Plus, the stylish bottle looks damn good perched on her desk or next to her yoga mat.\n$34.99 at Amazon.com\nKodak Step Touch\n\n\nThink of the Kodak Step Touch as a real-life Instagram feed. This unique little camera is reminiscent of the Polaroid pictures of yesteryear, but it's easier to use than ever and even allows her to save digital copies of the photos you take.\n$129.99 at Amazon.com\n\nRELATED: Unique Valentine's Day Gift Ideas\n\nAmazon Echo (5th Gen)\n\n\n\nHonestly, smart devices have been all the rage for a few years now – but for good reason. If she doesn’t have her own Echo yet, fix that immediately. Soon enough, she’ll be so used to asking Alexa for the weather or to play her favorite tunes, that she’ll wonder how she ever lived without her.\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\nClick & Grow Smart Planter\n\nIf she’s missing her community garden come wintertime, or curious to see how strong of a green thumb she has, consider picking up the Click & Grow Smart Planter. This innovative planter will allow her to grow herbs inside, even if she doesn’t have access to natural light; the energy-efficient LED grow lights ensure her plants will thrive no matter the weather.\n$124.95 at Amazon.com\nHome Body - Joanna Gaines\n\nLifestyle meets home decor in this vibrant coffee table book by HGTV heroine Joanna Gaines. If she spends hours creating the perfect cottage vision board on Pinterest, or she’s proudly watched every season of Fixer Upper, Home Body will be right up her alley.\n$21.53 at Amazon.com\nEparé Champagne Flutes, Set of 4\n\nWhat’s more romantic than a bottle of champagne? A bottle of champagne and two wine flutes to toast to your relationship. These stemless champagne flutes are double-walled, so they’ll keep your wine chilled for longer than a traditional flute, while the premium quality borosilicate glass allows the flutes to feel light in-hand without the stress of trying to wash delicate crystal.\n$39.95 at Amazon.com\nClassPass Membership\n\nIs your Valentine a fitness enthusiast? Help her switch up her routine with a ClassPass membership. Even if she can't attend studios in-person at the moment, this membership will give her access to an extensive list of at-home workouts, ranging from barre to boxing. \nFind out more at ClassPass.com\nHI-CHEW Fantasy Mix\n\nShe has a sweet tooth but chocolate isn't her thing? No problem. Toss HI-Chew's Fantasy Mix into your curated candy gift basket, the brand's newest release just in time for the romantic day of the year. With three flavors in the pack — Rainbow Sherbet, Blue Hawaii, and Blue Raspberry — it's the double-layered delight that no other candy can match, courtesy of full and distinct flavor profiles that will make for an even sweeter Valentine's Day celebration.\n$6.99 at Walmart.com\nYnM Weighted Blanket\n\n\n\nWeighted blankets have exploded in popularity, and for good reason: they're super comforting sleep-aids, and in these trying times, who couldn't some added comfort or better sleep? Bonus: it'll help keep her comfortable and secure when you're not around to put an arm around her.\n$79.99 at Amazon.com\nGravity Chunk Knit Blanket\n\n\nSpeaking of weighted blankets, you can even take it a step further. With its therapeutic weighted qualities and chunk knitting, this blanket hugs the body like no other, while the bamboo fleece construction does an excellent job preventing heat buildup.\n$115 at GravityBlankets.com\nSo there you have it. You might be tight on time, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice gifting quality. These items are sure to impress the leading lady in your life.\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tCheap Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\n\tValentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tBest Valentine's Day Experience Gifts", "keywords": "Last-Minute, Valentine’s, Day, Gifts, for, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/valentines_day/gifts_to_get/last-minute-valentine-s-day-gifts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1770393509.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/valentines_day/gifts_to_get/last-minute-valentine-s-day-gifts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:47:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "155030", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Relationship Advice for Common Marriage Problems", "title_slug": "relationship-advice-for-common-marriage-problems", "title_hash": "e5efc0667684f148462b336857ee6534", "summary": "6 Mistakes Both Men & Women Make That Slowly Destroy a Marriage", "content": "Today, about 40% of marriages end in divorce — a grim statistic that sheds light on just how hard it is to make a relationship last, even when you vow to spend the rest of your lives together. Fortunately, experts agree that marriages can usually be saved — as long as issues are addressed before they snowball.\n“All couples will hit a snag from time to time, and it doesn't mean things are doomed,” says Antoinette Bonafede Shine, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at Everybody’s Place Psychotherapy. “Each of us brings baggage into our relationships that can affect how we love a person. If you're willing to show vulnerability, admit when wrong, and still seek each other out and reconnect, and realign, even if it takes a few tries, these are key factors that make a relationship salvageable.”\nAccording to Sanya Bari, a licensed psychotherapist, most relationship problems don’t stem from a lack of love — but rather, unclear expectations, unspoken resentment, and emotional overload that “builds quietly over time.”\n“Many couples wait until things have gotten so dire that they are on the verge of losing hope altogether before they reach out for help,” adds Shine.\nBelow, couples therapists share the most common marriage problems — and more importantly, how to prevent and address them to ensure you have a happy, healthy relationship for years to come.\nRELATED: Relationship Counseling Lessons\nMistake #1: Avoiding Vulnerable Conversations\nAccording to Kaitlin Kindman, a licensed therapist in private practice, many couples avoid important but challenging conversations due to fears that they’ll create distance — when in actuality, it’s the avoidance that causes the issues. Not communicating about the factors that are sabotaging their feelings of security, satisfaction, or fulfillment in the relationship creates distance, says Kindman.\n“A lot of men learn early that conflict leads to blowups or shutdown, so they avoid it. Unfortunately, avoidance doesn’t prevent conflict — it delays it,” explains Bari.\nNot only does avoiding vulnerable conversations lead to increased tension, but it also erodes security and trust within the partnership, according to Kindman. Then, when a confrontation inevitably does happen, it’s far more likely to escalate.\nThe best way to prevent this issue is to schedule a weekly relationship check-in, so that both partners have an opportunity to air out their fears, concerns, needs, desires, etc.\nMistake #2: Drifting Into Roommate Mode\nLisa Chen, a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice, says she sees this issue all the time: Married couples spend most of their time together figuring out the day-to-day logistics of managing and sharing responsibilities — caring for kids, completing housework, paying bills, and running errands. That doesn’t leave any room for romance.\nThat doesn’t mean you need to make sweeping grand gestures, says Chen. Instead, the best way to keep the spark alive is consistency — say, scheduling a weekly or monthly date night, or having an intimate ritual you share every evening like snuggling on the couch with a movie or cooking dinner together.\nRELATED: How to Know If You Should Try Couple’s Therapy\nMistake #3: Refusing to Accept Your Partner As-Is\nWhile you and your partner will certainly change over the course of your marriage, expecting them to become an entirely different person is setting you up for never-ending disappointment and frustration.\n“Part of the commitment in a relationship is being willing to accept what cannot be changed and to love the person anyway,” explains Shine. “Acceptance often begins with seeing and accepting both the good and the bad in a person, without feeling resentful about what their partner is unable to provide.”\nStill, if there are specific things you’d like them to work on, Shine says it’s still worth sharing those in a gentle, non-accusatory way.\n“These conversations can also help us see what is changeable and what isn't,” she explains. “This then gives us a chance to take stock of what is a dealbreaker and whether a partner's quirks can be tolerated.”\nMistake #4: Ineffective Apologies\nApologizing is an art — and one that all married couples must master. Unfortunately, Kindman says many people never learned how to sincerely take accountability when they slip up — even if unintentionally — and instead end up brushing their faults under the rug or getting defensive about them.\n“Inevitably, you will make mistakes, unintentionally hurt your partner, or leave them feeling dropped,” Kindman explains. “The key that’s missing for many people is how to meaningfully repair when this happens, so that trust and security are fostered.”\nIn order to truly repair after a conflict, Kindman advises focusing on identifying the impact of your actions, verbally taking responsibility for that impact, and offering a solution for how you’ll handle things in the future.\n“This helps your partner feel that you fully understand the rupture and supports them to feel at ease by knowing it will happen differently next time,” she adds.\nMistake #5: Unequal Distribution of Labor and Mental Load\nWhen one person in the marriage feels they are the default household manager or parent — and their partner isn’t pulling their weight or supporting them — that’s bound to cause bitterness.\nCharity Hagains, a licensed professional counselor and co-founder of NOYAU Wellness Center, suggests addressing this issue by making a list of all the tasks that must be done to sustain your lifestyle — like grocery shopping, taking out the trash, and feeding the pets — and then assigning specific duties to ensure the labor is distributed fairly.\n“Even when chores are split, one partner often carries more of the planning, remembering, and emotional tracking,” says Bari.\nThis imbalance can quickly lead to mounting resentment.\n“So, make sure to also talk about responsibilities beyond tasks — decision-making, follow-through, and emotional presence matter just as much.”\nCouples can also schedule regular check-ins, says Hagains, to assess how both partners are feeling about their physical and mental load, and whether any shifts need to be made.\nMistake #6: Lack of Appreciation\n“Many men come into couple’s therapy saying, ‘I’m trying, but it’s never right,’” Bari tells AskMen.\nUsually, though, this is simply because they don’t understand how to make their partner feel supported and appreciated — and often the only way to clarify this is to ask.\n“Take stock of what ‘lights your partner up,’” adds Shine. “What I mean by this is, show up for your partner in their preferred love language… not your preferred language. For example, if your partner gets really excited by the prospect of baked goods from the bakery down the street, surprise them with a sweet treat, even if maybe you'd prefer pizza. Or if physical contact in the form of hugs, kisses, or caresses makes them feel loved, incorporate this into even mundane moments in your day. These small acts can make a person feel cared for, even if you wouldn't look at them the same way.”\nAnd when your partner makes these efforts to ensure you feel cared for, make it a point to express appreciation for those acts. That appreciation will make your partner want to continue doing those things, which will in turn breed more positive feelings that encourage you to do the same. This creates a feedback loop where you both feel valued, and motivated to make the other feel valued.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nApps for Couples Looking to Fix Their Relationship ProblemsHow to Use 'Solve Languages' to Improve Your RelationshipCouples Exercises to Build Intimacy & Improve Communication", "keywords": "Relationship, Advice, for, Common, Marriage, Problems", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/relationship-advice-for-common-marriage-problems/askmen-lead-image-2x1-6-1769788100.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/relationship-advice-for-common-marriage-problems.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-09 02:47:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "154687", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Sister Died in February, Forever Changing What the Month of Love Means to Me", "title_slug": "my-sister-died-in-february-forever-changing-what-the-month-of-love-means-to-me", "title_hash": "56752c280d1f77d7fa01e8e050e38d3c", "summary": "My elder sister died in February. A month the world labels for love has, for me, been forever changed in the way I see it. . This past Sunday, when …", "content": "

My elder sister died in February. A month the world labels for love has, for me, been forever changed in the way I see it. . This past Sunday, when the pastor asked members to go around shaking hands and welcoming each other to the new month, my stomach tightened into a knot. A wave of grief washed over me all over again.

She was only four years older than me, but it never felt that way. When she needed to be a disciplinarian, she was. When she needed to be my best friend, she stepped into that role effortlessly. She was the one who taught me so much about life. I remember her reading fairy tales and telling me stories when we were little. She would dress me, feed me, fight with me, and basically train me in wisdom. We could fight one minute and be best friends the next. Anyone who tried to come between us just became the third party, so even our parents did not dare.

In our teens we squabbled a lot, but we always forgave each other, and we grew even closer in the love bond we shared. My sister paved the way for me in life. When I was ready to go to secondary school, all the support came from her. I chose the university I went to because she was there, and she made my life comfortable in every way possible. She was a fashionista with magic hands for beauty and creativity. Every nice thing I owned, she bought. The first braids on my head, she did. Movies at SilverBird, eating at fine restaurants, my first birthday cake as an adult… every life decision went to her table, to be discussed, moulded, and corrected. From buying items, to food, to relationships, I went to her.

I did not need a boyfriend in school because I had my sister. She was my support system, navigating her own path and pointing out her mistakes so I would not fall into the same errors.

Unfortunately, my sister was not so lucky in love. She fell into the wrong man’s hands and became a single mother. But she still lived her life to the full, enjoyed the good moments and prayed through the bad, always keeping her head above water. We were once duped by scammers together, and we lamented and laughed through it all. We have so many stories to tell.

I remember when she was pregnant. I stood behind the window of the labour ward listening to my sister cry out for mercy from God. I was in tears, praying hard, and more than overjoyed when her baby boy was born. I would tease her with that birth story many times after.

Last year, my sister was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, stage 3C. We had entered the new year with so many glorious plans, and everything came to a standstill. It became a time of prayer, surgeries, and chemotherapy. My sister spent months in the hospital and became a shell of herself. I watched her turn into someone else, the way her eyes would twitch in pain when they poked her with needles, the constant medicines, the endless days in that bed. I saw her bubbly spirit become trapped in a body that refused to fight the cancer. We believed with our whole hearts she would be healed. We believed God would come through for her, and we even imagined how we would dance and testify when it was our turn. But God healed her in His own special way by calling her to rest. We were heartbroken. For me, a part of me died too. And for her son, he never got to experience the amazing mother she would have been.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

This coming Valentine’s Day, I cannot help but think about my lovely, lovely sister—her amazing smile, her tender heart, her love for adventure. I believe she is in a better place, but I miss her so much. I wish more awareness could be raised for ovarian cancer. It is a terrible thing that creeps in with no warning and cuts love short.

—HAZEL

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When I look back at how my marriage began, I sometimes wonder if the seeds of our current struggles were planted even before we said “I do.” Two years ago, when I told my parents I wanted to marry her, they almost rejected the idea outright. It was not because she was a bad woman. It was because she had a seven-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

My mother, especially, was relentless. She called me every morning and every night, pleading with me to reconsider. “Don’t you want peace?” she would ask. “I’m your mother and I’m a woman. I’ve seen marriages like this before. Most of them end in trouble. Find another woman.” She spoke from experience, from fear, and from love, but at the time, it felt like she was questioning my judgment.

My father was quieter, but his words carried weight. Whenever he met me in person, he would sit me down and speak slowly. “Some problems in life can be avoided,” he said once. “And this marriage might be one of them. Don’t you want a fresh beginning? A land you discovered yourself? I’m not saying don’t marry her, but think twice.”

I listened. I really did. But I had been with her for over two years. I knew her heart. I knew her discipline. I knew her strength. She was hardworking and independent. She did not depend on me financially. The father of her child was responsible and involved. Boundaries had been set from the beginning, and he respected them. There was no drama, no intrusion, no confusion. I felt safe in the relationship.

I understood my parents’ fears, but I also knew what was best for me. In the end, I stood my ground. I told them she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with. After some resistance, they gave us their blessing. They never treated her badly. In fact, till today, she and my mother are very close. She has no idea about the battles I fought behind the scenes to marry her.

On her side of the family, life had never been easy. Her elder sister had two children with two different men. The first child’s father fell sick for years and eventually died. The second man disappeared when she was pregnant. According to my wife, he got into serious financial trouble at work and became wanted. He ran away and never returned. Her sister became both mother and father to her children.

A year after my wife and I got married, her sister fell seriously ill. She was diagnosed with kidney failure and went through dialysis for months before she passed away. We all saw it coming, but death still arrived too soon. When she finally passed away, it shattered the family. Death has a way of reminding us that no matter how much we love someone, we cannot hold them back forever.

During the funeral preparations, her sister’s children stayed with us for a while. They were still with us when she was buried. After that, they went to live with my mother-in-law. My wife explained that her siblings were sending money every month to support their mother in caring for the children.

For a while, life returned to normal. Then one evening, my wife sat beside me and said quietly, “My mom wants me to take the children to live with us.”

I looked at her, surprised. “Why?” I asked. “She’s not well,” she replied. “And the children are becoming stubborn. She can’t control them anymore.” She asked for my opinion, and I answered honestly. “No. That can’t happen. They can visit us anytime, but they cannot come to stay. We haven’t even started our own family yet.”

I saw the disappointment in her eyes, but I did not change my mind. To me, it was a practical decision. Days later, she brought it up again. This time, she had a plan. “We can rent a three-bedroom house,” she said. “I’ll pay for it. We’ll have enough space.” My wife earns good money. Sometimes, even more than I do. To her, money solves most problems. But to me, this was not just about rent and food. It was about time, emotions, energy, and balance.

I asked her, “What happens when you’re not around? What happens when I’m the only one home? Who handles school issues, discipline, moods, sickness?” She didn’t answer immediately. “I wanted two children,” I continued. “A boy and a girl. I still do. You already have one. That makes three. I accepted that. But five? Children I didn’t raise from the beginning? That’s too much.”

From that day, the argument never ended. The boy is twelve. The girl is eight. They are not small children. They come with habits, attitudes, and emotional baggage. Bringing them into our home permanently means reshaping our entire life. It means sacrificing privacy, routine, and peace. It means postponing our own plans. It means stretching ourselves in ways I never prepared for.

My wife sees it differently. To her, they are family. Blood. Responsibility. She believes love should be enough. She believes we can adjust. I believe love alone is not enough. She says I have a stone heart. I say I am being realistic. She says I am selfish. I say I am being cautious. She says God will provide. I say God also gave us wisdom to plan.

We fight about it often. Sometimes in silence. Sometimes in raised voices. Each time, we walk away wounded. Each time, nothing changes. In my mind, the discussion ended long ago. I made my position clear. I am not ready to raise five children. Not now. Maybe not ever. If that makes her unhappy, then I will learn to live with an unhappy wife. It sounds cruel, but it is my truth.

Yet, sometimes, late at night, when she is asleep beside me, I wonder if I am wrong. I wonder if this is what my parents warned me about. I wonder if this is the “trouble” they saw from afar. I wonder if love sometimes requires sacrifices I am not ready to make.

I love my wife. I admire her compassion. I respect her loyalty to her family. But I am afraid of losing myself in the process. I am afraid of becoming bitter. I am afraid of resenting children who did nothing wrong.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I want peace in my home. I want balance. I want a future that does not feel overwhelming. So now, I stand at this crossroads, torn between logic and compassion, between self-preservation and sacrifice. I have chosen my side, but my heart is still unsettled. Am I being heartless for saying no? Am I simply trying not to bite more than I can chew? Sometimes, I don’t even know the answer myself.

—Abu

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******

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In my late teens, I was working in a restaurant when he walked in. He sat down and called for the waitress. Before I even reached his table to take his order, his fragrance hit me. It smelled of money, style, wealth, and audacity. “Hi sir, can I take your order?” I asked him with so much confidence.

After that, it was always me who got to serve him whenever he visited, which was almost every day. So every day, I found myself waiting for his arrival. It did not take long before we became acquainted. He asked for my number, just in case he was in a hurry, so he could send his order ahead and have it ready for pickup. It sounded like a practical plan. We agreed, and shared a smile.

Like any girl with a new crush, I waited for his call.When my phone finally vibrated, I jolted awake from a nap. But it took almost a week before he actually called. It was my off day, so I had plenty of time. He asked about my family, my school, my future plans. Then he casually added, “And how is your boyfriend too? I hope he will not come and beat me.”

I laughed. I understood the question beneath the joke. He was asking if I had a boyfriend.

He told me he liked me. “I will spoil you silly and make you happy,” he said. While I was excited by the idea of being his girlfriend, I was also anxious. If there was one thing I feared, it was married men. So, I did my own quiet digging and found out he was a divorced man with no children. I agreed to be with him. He would be what you could call a sugar daddy.

I kept it hidden from my sister, who was also a close friend of his. She had no idea that I was dating one of her biggest clients. Even to this day, she does not know. When he visited the restaurant, we did not act like anything was between us. I served him, we exchanged small talk, and I returned to my station. To my sister, he was just a friend to us both. After a year, I left the restaurant and found a different job.

Fast forward to last year, when I saw how close he and my sister had grown. It was not the kind of closeness that says “just friends.” It was clearly more than that. I noticed the constant visits, the private laughs when she was on the phone with him, the random gifts she started bringing home. It became obvious that something was happening behind my back.

Ever since, my parents have been asking questions and raising eyebrows. Because if what we were all thinking was true, then it was an abomination. Even as I denied ever having anything to do with him, I grew restless. Every time I confronted him, he said, “No,” and insisted he only had eyes for me.

The truth came out one evening in his car.

I asked him for the umpteenth time if he had anything to do with my sister. I was angry, shaking, digging my nails into my thighs just to keep myself from slapping him. That was when he finally confessed. My sugar daddy, the man who promised to care for me, was involved with my sister too. He said he was sorry. But the damage was done.

Now I am caught between truths. My parents’ minds are already uneasy. If this comes out—that he was seeing both me and my sister—they will demand we go for a spiritual cleansing in our hometown. That means our whole family will know. My sister will know. Our reputations will be ruined. People will talk. Worst of all, he will either have to choose between us, or we will both lose him. That is the price we will have to pay.

I am willing to pay a price, but I want to pay it alone, without my parents or my sister ever finding out. I want to take a different path, to travel to Benin. I will cleanse myself of any abominations in my past and any that might touch my future and that of my generation.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

And while I am there, I want to lay a curse upon him. In my anger and pain, I want him to feel the weight of what he has caused. I want him to understand the damage, the stress, and the confusion he has brought into two sisters’ lives. All he had to do was show me care and keep his word. Instead, he left us broken.

And now, I am left to carry the consequences of his choices.

—Sugar baby

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#SB<>

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He’s not the kind of man I would have loved to date, but I was a girl in need, so when he proposed and I realized he could pay, I said yes. When I said yes, he sent me MoMo and said, “This is an appreciation MoMo. Get yourself something you haven’t been able to get for yourself.”

Whenever we talked, he asked me if I needed something. I usually told him, “I’m not comfortable asking for things, so whatever your heart says you should give me, I’m ready to accept.”

He would either send MoMo because he said he wasn’t a good picker of gifts. If I told him what I wanted, he also bought them for me.

I realized he wasn’t often in town. He was traveling in and out, so in a week I could see him just once. I wasn’t worried, but he was rather worried. He was worried I would fall for someone or even cheat on him. I’m a loyal girl. I don’t do another man until what I have is gone. I kept telling him I was there for him.

He would call on video and ask us to get naughty. He would send a message out of the blue and ask me to send him something crazy. I did, and in return, he sent me money or bought me something I needed. I was in school and trying to also sell something so I could afford my own lifestyle. He said he was willing to invest.

When he was gone for over a month and I hadn’t seen him, I got angry. He wouldn’t pick up my calls like he used to or even answer my text messages. So one morning, I sent him a message: “Whatever is making you ignore me is very important, I’m sure. But trust me, by the time you get the time to talk to me, I would be gone.”

He called back, giving me plenty of excuses about work and about his boss being demanding and the area not having strong network. Because he sensed anger in me, he sent me money and said, “Get something to calm your raging heart. I’ll come with more to cool it down.”

He was back in a week, and a few days later, I had a call from a woman who said she was the wife of the man I was dating. I was stunned. “You mean Andrews? Or you’re mistaking me for another person?” I asked. She said, “I’m talking about the same person. He was home with me when he was ignoring you.”

This woman was too calm for a woman who had discovered the woman her husband was cheating with. She said she didn’t call to attack me but rather because she needed my help, and that I shouldn’t tell her husband that she called.

I got scared and started thinking about the worst. “What help, if I may know?” I asked her. She told me she was going to call back later because their last child was calling for attention. I’m a very tough girl. Yes, I didn’t know he was married, but even if I knew and he was ready to spend on me, I don’t think I would have said no. It wasn’t love that brought us together. I needed what he had, and he also needed what I could give.

I didn’t tell him anything while waiting for what the wife would say. She called four days later. She said she needed money. “I’ve read your messages, and one thing I realized was he gives you whatever you want. Unfortunately, it’s not the same with me. We have three kids, but he cares less. I need to beg him for ages before he drops a penny in my bowl.”

She said she needed GHC5,000 and didn’t mind if I could get her half of it. She needed that much to sort her life out and probably leave the marriage. I thought she was joking. Andrews could give me GHC5,000 in a day and couldn’t do the same for his wife? I asked her to give me one month to collect GHC10,000 for her.

I was dealing with two issues: the fact that he lied to me and the pain I experienced knowing he didn’t care about his own wife. I started making demands. He sent me the GHC5,000 in one week, and I sent it to his wife. As I kept making demands, he became suspicious. When he needed intimacy, I gave him excuses. He knew me enough to know I wasn’t the same girl, but when he asked questions, I told him, “Get me the money and see if I won’t be happy again. There’s fire in my house. How can I be happy?”

It took him a month to give me the extra GHC5,000 in two installments. I sent them to the woman, and she called every day to say thank you. The only legal wife in Ghana who blesses her husband’s side chick.

I asked him, “When are you going to tell me you’re married?”

He swore heaven and earth he wasn’t married. He even made me feel the woman had lied to me to get money from me. I was confused. I nearly told him what had happened when he asked who told me. Fortunately for me, he broke down and confessed right at the point I was about to tell him what had happened.

He said he was married, but he was getting a divorce very soon. That was why he didn’t tell me. I told him, “I can’t forgive you for lying to me, but if you say you’re getting a divorce, show me proof, and I may reconsider.”

He spun all the balls of lies he could muster, begging me not to leave and saying he was about to do more in my life because I was truly the woman he loved. When all was well, he could be gone for weeks and I would not hear from him. When the tables turned, I saw him every day, begging me to change my mind. “I have nothing to change. It’s you who has to show me proof.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

It’s been months now. No single proof has come from him, but he keeps coming. Meanwhile, his wife calls to say thank you and asks me what is happening with him. She would then say, “He doesn’t know what’s about to hit him. He would have worn a metal helmet by now.” I don’t know what is about to hit him either, but whatever it is, I hope it breaks his legs and makes him walk with a limp so that by his walk, we shall know the kind of man he is.

—Dufie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend’s, Wife, Called, Not, Fight, But, Ask, for, Money", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/10628.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriends-wife-called-me-not-to-fight-but-to-ask-for-money/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-06 05:59:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "154041", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Screening Girls' Recent Sexual Histories", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-screening-girls-recent-sexual-histories", "title_hash": "cce35bcc0ce3092a8172afa0566585e7", "summary": "When’s the last time she had sex before you? There’s a right way and a wrong way to find this out – especially if you want to know the TRUTH.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"finding$ When’s the last time she had sex before you? There’s a right way and a wrong way to find this out – especially if you want to know the TRUTH.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Screening, Girls, Recent, Sexual, Histories", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/screening-girls-recent-sexual-histories-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-screening-girls-recent-sexual-histories", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-05 09:11:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "154040", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her 2026", "title_slug": "valentines-day-gift-ideas-for-her-2026", "title_hash": "7a58a1be939dc1f1c8abb808417439d3", "summary": "Make this year's Valentine's Day stand out with these exquisite gift ideas for her.", "content": "Let's face it: Valentine's Day can be stressful. You don't want to show up to your V-Day date empty-handed, but maybe you also don't want to rely on the tried-and-true flowers-and-chocolates approach either. You're in the market for a gift that shows you care, that maybe indicates you know something about your significant other, and that you're the type of sensitive, thoughtful guy who can give a great gift. And, let's be honest, that can be very difficult for a lot of guys.\nRELATED: Valentine's Day Gifts for Him\nWhether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been with your boo for awhile, V-Day is a day to spoil your gal with gifts that truly reflect what she loves and what you love about her. To help get you started with a more intimate approach to Valentine’s Day gifting, we’ve curated a range of gift ideas, ranging from the luxe to the sentimental to the practical –because sometimes receiving an item you really need is the sexiest thing ever. And don’t worry if your wallet’s feeling a little at the moment. We’ve included a range of price points to ensure your budget stays on track.\n\nBest Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\n\nUrban Stems Flowers\n\nSure, fresh flowers might be a cliché Valentine’s Day gift, but that doesn’t mean she won’t enjoy them. Whether you want a classic bouquet of roses, an elegant orchid, or a sweet air plant, Urban Stems is the place to go. Fast to order, always fresh, and beautifully arranged – you can't go wrong.\nFind out more at UrbanStems.com\nModern Love, Revised and Updated, Edited by Daniel Jones\n\n\nWhether she binge-watched Amazon Prime’s Modern Love series upon its release or she’s yet to see it, she’ll pour over every page of this at times touching, hilarious, and tear-jerking compilation. It features some of the best essays from the past 15 years of the NYT's Modern Love column, including the eight featured in the streaming series.\n$25.99 at Amazon.com\nAuvere Big Love Diamond Hoop Earrings\n\n\nIf you feel like splurging this Valentine's Day, invest in a statement piece of jewelry, something she'll proudly wear for the rest of her life. The Big Love Diamond Hoop Earrings, designed by Auvere co-founder Gina Feldman Love, are crafted from 18 karat polished gold with embossed diamonds, guaranteeing your partner will be the center of attention every time she enters a room. \n$6,000 at Auvere.com\nBrooklinen Super-Plush Robe\n\nGive her that hotel spa experience at home every day with this super-plush robe from Brooklinen. Made in Turkey from 100 percent Turkish cotton, it has a nice weight to it and offers excellent absorption after a shower or bath.\n$119 at Brooklinen.com\nEcoslay Chai Latte Hair Cleanser\n\n\nAtlanta-based, Black-owned Ecoslay crafts eco-friendly, plant-powered haircare products for women who want to rock their natural hair and their Chai Latte Hair Cleanser has earned rave reviews for its use of peppermint, cloves and burdock root to clear away buildup and residue without damaging, stripping or drying out your hair, leaving your follicles' foundations ready to thrive. \n$28 at Amazon.com\nElizée Adriana Sandal\n\n\nTrust us: you don't have to know much about women's fashion in general or shoes in particular to put a massive, ear-to-ear grin on her face with the Adriana Sandals from Elizée. Handmade in Italy from buttery-soft Italian leather, and deceptively comfortable despite their thin design, these are the kind of shoes that deserve to be shown off, so for bonus points, book a fancy restaurant and let your lady strut. \n$630 at ElizeeShoes.com\nCorkcicle Champagne Flutes\n\nToast to love on the 14th with these modern stainless steel champagne flutes. They have the benefit of being shatterproof and easy to grip, but will also keep bubbly perfectly chilled.\n$25 at Corkcicle.com\nlululemon Double Roller\n\nHelp her give her muscles some love this V-Day with this double roller. Supportive and durable, the interior roller is great for the back while the exterior is ideal for the arms and legs.\n$64 at lululemon.com\nMcBride Sisters Wine Club\n\nFrom relaxing evenings at home with her main squeeze (aka you) to Zoom cocktail parties with the girls, it’s always handy to have a few great bottles of wine on hand. Through the McBride Sisters Seasonal Wine Club, she will receive new bottles of wine each season of the year, with options catered to match the season and her taste.\nFind out more at McBrideSisters.com\nSweet Water Decor Candle Care Kit\n\nThis unique gift idea serves as the perfect companion to a new candle, but it is equally impressive on its own. With a wick trimmer, wick dipper, and bell snuffer, it will prolong the life of candles and improve their scent impact as well.\n$46.01 at Amazon.com\nEverlane The Boxy Crew in Cashmere\n\n\nIt’s a common refrain that women are always colder than men, and, surprise surprise, that probably has to do with the fact that your (on average) greater body mass produces more body heat, meaning you want the temperature lower. But if you’ve turned the heat up a little bit and she’s still feeling chilly? A quality sweater is the move. This one from Everlane brings form and function to the fore with an understated look that still pops with color.\n$215 at Everlane.com\nVitruvi Diffuser\n\nDiffusers are all the rage these days – and for good reason. On top of promoting a relaxing vibe, they hydrate the air, offer a light fragrance, and carry the properties of an essential oil to the room. Not just a pretty face, this diffuser from Vitruvi can run for up to 7 hours and features an automatic turn-off setting.\n$159.99 at Amazon.com\nSmitten Kitchen Keepers Cookbook by Deb Perelman\n\nDoes your Valentine love to cook and bake? One of the tastiest food sites around is now available in cookbook form, distilling its host of recipes down to the best of the best. This is technically a gift for her, but if she starts making any of these, it’s also a gift for you and your tastebuds.\n$36 at Amazon.com\nLego Icons Orchid\n\nDoes your Valentine love to work with your hands but also appreciate beautiful things? Lego’s Orchid set might be the exact center of that Venn diagram. You got her flowers, but she gets to have fun building them herself (or with you, if she’s generous). Then they can brighten up her space without slowly wilting and withering or requiring any upkeep. Win, win, win.\n$39.99 at Amazon.com\nOverland Emma Classic Australian Merino Sheepskin Slippers\n\nHelp her kick off her V-Day in comfort with these slippers from Overland. Lined with a plush sheepskin interior, featuring a memory foam insole, and sturdy rubber outsole, they will have her feeling like she's walking on clouds – no matter if she's indoors or out.\n$129 at Overland.com\n\nRELATED: Budget Valentine's Day Gifts for Her\n\nThe Sill Live Plant\n\nBring some greenery and flair to her pad with the thoughtful gift of a potted plant. Within The Sill’s extensive list of options, you’re sure to find a plant that suits her space and her green thumb capabilities – bonus, they all come in a stylish planter of your color choice.\nFrom $49 at TheSill.com\nScentbird Perfume Subscription\n\nIf she’s fascinated by the power of perfumes, why not give a gift that keeps on giving with a Scentbird subscription? Scentbird will send her mini versions of new scents every month (for three, six or twelve months) so she can explore the wide world of fragrances without committing to buying a fortune’s worth of perfume bottles.\nFrom $50 at Scentbird.com\nAll About Love by bell hooks\n\nIf she’s a bookworm, celebrate her love of literature with one of the best contemporary books about love, All About Love by bell hooks. Inside its oh-so-Valentine’s-y cover lie hooks’ meditations on love in its many forms, romantic and (especially) otherwise, and how its absence informs so much of our lives.\n$17.99 at Amazon.com\nBroadway HD Streaming\n\nSince you can’t go out to see a show in-person, why not shake up your streaming options at home with the gift of a BroadwayHD subscription? Featuring classics and newcomers alike, the selection of content within the platform is seemingly endless.\nFrom $9.99 per month at BroadwayHD.com\nMinted Poem/Quote Print\n\nWhether it’s your wedding vows or her favorite poem, in your handwriting or typography, this framed quote print is a guaranteed gifting hit. All you need to do is upload your text or a photo of your writing, select the frame and color scheme, and Minted will send your custom print right to her door.\nFrom $32 at Minted.com\nFarmHouse Fresh Vitamin Berry Facial Tonic\n\nDon’t be surprised if she ends up reaching for this toner throughout the day. On top of being nourishing and moisturizing for the skin, a spritz or two feels incredibly refreshing.\n$40 at FarmhouseFreshGoods.com\n\nRELATED: Last-Minute Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\n\n'The Regulator' My Sheets Rock\n\nLet’s be honest, the best V-Day celebrations take place between the sheets, so why not elevate the experience with a buttery-smooth new set made from the highest-grade of bamboo rayon?\nFrom $199 at MySheetsRock.com\nFetch the Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple\n\nIf she’s an audiophile or music nerd, why not treat her to a vinyl album of one of the best records to come out in the past few years, Fiona Apple’s instant-classic Fetch the Bolt Cutters? At once personal and political, it’s endlessly relistenable, and catchy in deeply unexpected ways.\n$27.97 at Amazon.com\nBirchbox\n\nMeet Birchbox, the subscription service that curates a selection of beauty products for her each month and ships them straight to her door. Not only will she think of you every time her package arrives, but all you have to do is enter her address and your credit card info for payment.\nFind out more at Birchbox.com\n\nRELATED: How to Treat Yourself as a Single Guy on Valentine's Day\n\nDyson Supersonic Hair Dryer\n\n\nPrepare to blow her away on Feb 14 with this top-of-the-line hair dryer. Offering the same standard of excellence customers have found in Dyson’s vacuums and air purifiers for years, this beauty tool will leave her locks feeling full and refreshed after every use.\n$519.99 at Amazon.com\nGalison Anne Bentley Jigsaw Puzzle, Cocktail Map\n\nLooking for a gift that doubles as a date-night activity? A puzzle is the way to go. This design from Galison will not only inspire the two of you to take a cross-country road trip – when it’s safe to do so – but to shake up your at-home cocktail routine.\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\nLove Lingual Card Game\n\nStuck on how to make the 14th feel special when you’re stuck at home? Gift her this game and take turns answering the prompts on the cards. Intimacy guaranteed.\n$26.95 at Amazon.com\nClick & Grow Smart Garden\n\nHere’s a gift that you might want to consider getting two of — One for her and one for yourself. Trust us when we say it'll help you make it through the long, cold winter. This Click & Grow unit comes with everything needed to grow herbs year-round, from mint and basil to rosemary and parsley.\n$118.69 at Amazon.com\nGreat Jones The Dutchess Dutch Oven\n\nNothing says long-term commitment like a quality Dutch oven. And while Le Creuset has this aspect of kitchenware on lockdown for many people, culinary up-and-comers Great Jones have a lovely take on the concept that’s gorgeous and dishwasher-safe, and we think that's also worth celebrating. Now — get ready for some delicious stews.\n$205 at GreatJones.com\nAerangis Secret Garden Candle\n\nWhether you matched on Tinder or lit the spark of your love IRL, a candle is a cute way to let your lover know they really light your fire. This one from Aerangis is all about a soothing energy, with notes of geranium, green tea and incense, while eucalyptus, pine and cedarwood poke through.\nFrom $38 at Aerangis.com\nMark and Graham Italian Herringbone Throw\n\nYou can never have too many blankets. Made in Italy, this throw blanket is light enough to be used in all seasons, but soft enough to offer comfort. P.S. It can be monogrammed for an extra $12.\nFrom $119 at MarkAndGraham.com\nJuniper Books Classic Set\n\nIf you’re having a hard time keeping tabs on the bestsellers she’s been reading, look to the classics. From Nancy Drew to Jane Austen, these collections will allow her to revisit old favorites and they look super chic on the bookshelf.\nFrom $147.35 at JuniperBooks.com\nIcons: 50 Heroines by Micaela Heekin\n\nYour favorite heroine deserves a coffee table book that keeps up. Featuring colorful portraits of everyone from Michelle Obama to Dolly Parton, this book will serve as an aesthetically pleasing addition to her space and a source of inspiration.\n$24.95 at Amazon.com\nAtlas Coffee Subscription\n\nPerk the interest of your Valentine with a coffee subscription, offering unique roasts from across the globe. Each month, she’ll receive a new 12-ounce bag of freshly roasted coffee beans/or grinds, along with a postcard from its destination and some brewing tips.\nFind out more at AtlasCoffeeClub.com\nShutterfly Photo Coasters\n\nNo matter if it's photos from a vacation, snaps of the two of you, or pictures of her pup, this personalized gift will bring a touch of joy to her day whenever she spies them.\nFrom $24.98 at Shutterfly.com\nTeabloom All-Purpose Beverage Tumbler\n\nIf she’s ‘team tea’ over coffee, this tumbler is sure to be put to good use. With the infuser/filter, she can add loose leaf tea to the tumbler and enjoy it at home or on the go.\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tValentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tCheap Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tLast-Minute Valentine's Day Gifts", "keywords": "Valentines, Day, Gift, Ideas, for, Her, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/home/47-valentine-s-day-gift-ideas-for-her/askmen-lead-image-2x1-8-1769801900.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/home/47-valentine-s-day-gift-ideas-for-her.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-05 09:11:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "153702", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m About to Rebel Against My Husband, and He Won’t Know What Hit Him", "title_slug": "im-about-to-rebel-against-my-husband-and-he-wont-know-what-hit-him", "title_hash": "646ab9c6e3b9e4e5412d668afcfdba66", "summary": "We met in May of last year, and by November we were married. They say when you know, you know. Clearly, we did not date for very long, but we …", "content": "

We met in May of last year, and by November we were married. They say when you know, you know. Clearly, we did not date for very long, but we were sure. We were two grown adults who had found love and companionship in each other. He is in his forties, and I am in my early thirties.

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While I was not in any rush for a husband, he seemed like the perfect man when our paths crossed. It felt as though when God was shaping me, He already had Nii in mind. He thought of Nii, then shaped my nose, my body, and gently placed one of his ribs inside me with a smile. When He was done, He said, “This is the bone of Nii’s bone, the flesh of his flesh. Their marriage will be beautiful.” So, we wasted no time in tying the knot. He asked all the right questions, and I gave answers that felt worthy. His parents came to meet mine, they handled the formalities, and soon I was sent to live with him. It felt like an absolute dream come true.

When we were dating, he was helpful in ways that felt rare. When I visited and cooked, he would hover around the kitchen asking, “What do you need?” “Should I slice the onions?” “Wait, let me clean that for you.” He knew his way around the kitchen, the house, the laundry. He was thoughtful. He noticed things. He helped without being asked.

Amazingly, all those skills have suddenly disappeared into thin air. I do not see that man in him anymore. He has changed, and we are talking about a big change here, like a wolf finally removing its sheep’s clothing. He is now the kind of man who still thinks like the patriarchal men of old, that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, and only there should she live, serve, and honor. He does not believe I have a place sitting at his right side at the dining table. He does not believe that after all my education and learning, I deserve to go to work and earn money. According to him, my responsibility as a wife and a woman is to serve him, worship the ground he walks on, cry if he asks on a whim, and jump when he tells me to. It is a whole new revelation. I will be cleaning, and he will just sit there, even if I call for help while doing the chores. He really does not care.

The truth is, he does not really care about me like that. Now I can see it clearly, like a mask has fallen from my eyes. He has four children from three different women, and that history feels part of a pattern I am only now understanding.

Right now, we are quarreling for a simple reason, because I did not make breakfast for him. We work on shifts. This week, he is working mornings while I am working late. I get home around 12:30 AM; he is home by 3:30 PM. He expects me to come home in the middle of the night and fry eggs and plantain for him, even though he could easily do it himself when he gets home earlier. I have refused.

He says a lot of things: “You are a lazy woman who is just using work as an excuse not to cook for your husband,” “Your job is to make me happy, am I happy?”

My work is tedious. I am always on my feet, moving from one point to another, and all I want when I finally get home is to sleep. But instead, all I do is fight, quarrel, and talk with the man I married. None of this mattered when we were dating, so why now? What happened?

If he appreciated the little things I did, maybe this marriage would be easier to work with. But he does not. He shoots them down. He is mean to me. If I cook him a meal because I notice he has a cold, he tells me he did not ask me to. He does not say thank you, please, or I am sorry. He is just so mannerless. According to him, I am his wife, so everything I do is expected. It is my responsibility. He bought me; he owns me now. I am his subordinate.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

He is right about one thing. I am his wife.

But I am not his slave.

I am not going to sit and pity myself into thinking I am doing something wrong. I will not ask, “Am I a bad wife?” I will not beg God to make me better so my husband can love me more. That will not be my prayer.

I am going to rebel.

The way Israel rebelled against God.

I will let him know that one plus one will always equal two. I am his wife, and wife is not a synonym for slave. I am not my grandmother. At the end of this trial, he will make his decision.

If he wants me to do anything for him, he should pay me, hire someone, or do it himself.

I believe I am taking the right course of action. Yes or yes?

—Acolor

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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Reading through the comments, I realized a lot of people were calling the story a lie because they felt there were inconsistencies in the story, especially between the time frame I should have gotten the prophylaxis. I don’t blame them for having doubt. They were not there with me and didn’t experience what I went through with me, so it will be hard for them to understand. Let me set you up from the beginning of things, even before the pregnant woman arrived.

As I indicated in my first story, the health center was new in a village far away. Before the hospital could operate, I had to go there and help scrub the floors so they could have clean rooms. We had to help paint the place and mount a signpost that said the place was a health center. I was then made the head of my unit. So I was a new person in a place that was just about to operate as a health center. I knew very little of the village itself and the people I could talk to when I found myself in trouble.

And there’s something most people don’t know when it comes to working in the hospital. We preach against stigmatization and even run adverts on our screens encouraging people not to stigmatize people who carry certain diseases. You might think health workers would know better, but the place where the highest stigmatization happens is in the hospital among health workers.

If you’re a nurse and it becomes apparent that you’ve been exposed to certain diseases like HIV, you’ll walk by and your colleagues will be talking about you. You sit next to them and they push away from you. You’ll hold a pen and no other person will touch the same pen again. You’ll become the news in the facility, and if you don’t take care, you’ll either be suicidal or stop working.

So when the issue happened, I was careful who I talked to. It was the reason I didn’t talk to my in charge. If that woman got to hear of it, everyone around and in the village would have heard what had happened to me. I couldn’t have also left my post and gone around looking for prophylaxis because I’d just delivered a baby who needed care. I was the only qualified midwife on duty. Leaving my post would have brought a lot of questions I wasn’t ready to answer, so I called a nurse friend from a nearby facility. She was shocked and disturbed at the same time, so she told me, “I’m out of the clinic, but I will call someone there and ask if they have stock of prophylaxis.”

A few minutes later, she got back to me and said they were not having stock. My spirit took flight. I asked her, “So where do you think is the best place to get some?” She answered, “Unless we contact the main hospital, but unfortunately, I don’t know anyone to call from there.” Then I asked her, “Can I just walk in there and ask them to give me the drug?” She answered, “I don’t even believe they have stock because if they did, we would have also had stock.”

Later, we agreed she was going to check anyway and get back to me on what the situation was. I lived in the village and was even sleeping in the hospital facility. It wasn’t easy getting transportation out of the village, so I wanted to be sure of where to go first before I left, since every hour counted.

I called a nurse I worked with in another facility I once worked at, hoping to hear good news. I called several times and she wouldn’t answer. I had to call another midwife I trusted I could share the news with in the same hospital, but she also wouldn’t answer her phone. So my options were either to wait for feedback from the first person I called or wait for the other two people I called to call back. Time was still going. It didn’t wait, knowing I was in a situation and I needed it to stop or slow down. It kept tick-tocking away.

Hours later, they called. They listened to my situation and they were also in dismay. The midwife said, “Give me a few minutes. Let me call someone and ask them if they have it in stock.” The nurse also said the same thing. I had to wait while time kept moving. It happened on a Friday. Twelve hours later, when evening was just approaching and I hadn’t heard anything from those I called, I decided to move to the facility in the city where I once worked.

I got there and spoke to the doctor on duty. He said, “ART works only during the day, so the nurse you called should have informed us that you were on your way so we could keep the drug at the pharmacy for you.”

Prophylaxis doesn’t go to the main pharmacy. It’s mostly kept at designated places. I was desperate. I asked the doctor if there was a patient who had it and if it was possible I could take hers. He shook his head. “You can’t do that, and it’s not like we have clients every day here who have their drugs with them.”

Eventually, it turned out they also didn’t have prophylaxis, even in a huge facility like that. You’ll be shocked if I mentioned the name of this hospital. Very popular.

There was no hope for me, so I had to travel back to the village and think of another plan since my contacts had been exhausted. Eventually, the first lady I called was able to organize some of the drug for me. Apart from the fact that I was getting the drugs late, the drug I had was expiring.

Usually, the drug is taken within a month, but if you’re able to take it within seventy-two hours of the exposure, then two weeks is enough to get you better. The one I had was expiring in two or three weeks. It was as if the universe was conspiring against me. I took it all the same, but it didn’t work, and I ended up being infected.

A lot of people were also asking why I was working without PPE. We see health workers in movies fully geared up, and it’s a beauty to behold. Sometimes these scenes can even make you have an appetite for health work. Unfortunately, in Ghana, what we see in the movies is starkly different from what we experience. The only PPE I had that day was hand gloves. The health center didn’t have anything. Even the fetal heart monitor at the clinic was my personal one, and it’s what they still use today.

I wasn’t surprised when many people didn’t believe my story. You have to be there and experience it to know. Some called me careless. Others said I already had it before the event because what happened was very unlikely to have caused me to have HIV. Trust me, I read all these comments laughing because I understand. And the good thing is, I’m no longer that same girl that went through the ordeal.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’ve grown. I’ve matured. I’ve come to understand that life happens. You might hear, “This happens in one in a million” and think you can’t be that one in a million it happens to, but guess what? Life has a way of having the last laugh. This is my story. I’ve come to own it, but it’s also understandable if you don’t believe me or judge me or call me who I am not. It doesn’t change anything. It happened, and I’m the one it happened to. I can’t change that.

—Maame Nurse

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Somewhere in December of 2023, on a Sunday, I was in church. I was praying into the new year, asking for financial breakthrough, for unlimited favor, for grace and mercy. But most importantly, I asked God to give me a husband, a bone of my bone. It was the sight of a couple with their arms locked, speaking words of love to each other, that prompted me. It reminded me that I deserved love too. So, I looked up toward the altar, raised my hands, and asked God, “Oh Lord, please give me a man who will spoil me silly and love me this way.” It was simple, straightforward. He had a lot of prayers coming His way that day, so I had to go straight to the point.

Days later, my sister texted me asking for my photos. She rejected every picture I thought looked nice, then started asking for specific ones. My sister never asks for pictures of me, so it was weird. But with all her demands, I did as she asked. After that, she casually mentioned, “Someone is going to text you. Be nice to him.” I thought it was a questionnaire she wanted me to help fill out for a friend.

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Later, a man named Henri texted me. He was a colleague of my sister’s, and I remembered him because she used to speak so highly of him whenever his name came up.

We became friends, and when it became obvious that feelings were growing, we took a step further and started dating. Henri is good people. He has an amazing personality, tells the funniest jokes, and is so gentlemanly. He supports my dreams, urges me on, and carries me through. He is one of the few good men out there.

I am getting older, the age where society labels women as old, and my parents are on my neck. My mother passes comments, and I am supposed to take the lead on that. “If you looked good in your husband’s house, it would be better.” “Is this man you are posting your husband?” “When is your husband coming to see us?” “You are growing old.” Recently, my father has been trying to match me with his friend’s son. He is angry with me because I rejected that idea.

I understand where they are coming from as parents, but I am so much in love with Henri.

Henri is still studying for his Mphil. He is promising me that as soon as he graduates, he will come see my parents. I have talked about him. I trust him. But I am thirty-two. My clock is ticking, my parents are on my neck, and I have a biological clock to consider. Will he truly come? What if he delays? What if he falls in love with the graduate assistant? Worse case, he falls in love with a colleague.

Henri sounds like the prayer God answered, but what if he does not keep his word and I am left heartbroken, back to square one, and lonely?

I have discussed my fears with him. He says he understands, and he reassures me it will not happen. He tells me I should trust him. I want to trust him, but the voices in my head are laughing at me. History has shown that about most of the time, some men promise you a canoe ride on the ocean and then leave you there, scared, lonely, and heartbroken.

No matter how hard I try, I am afraid that he will leave me. And when that happens, I do not know how I am going to bounce back.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I want to know: is he worth it? Do you think that if he fails to honor his promise, I will be fine in the end? Do you think that after two years, I can trust him and hold on to his word?

—Ayeyi

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I had a son when I was seventeen years old. It affected my growth and slowed down my life. My dad became my enemy, and he stopped taking care of me. The man I had the child with ran away. He was older. He feared the repercussions. I saw my mates going to school and having dreams, and it pained my heart, but I told myself, “God gave me a child, and that’s fine.”

I went back to complete SHS through the help of my aunt, and after SHS, I started hating my son. I’d come to accept he was the reason my life had stalled. I’d come to hate what his father did to me and the fact that he’d run away. I hated to see his face, so I did everything to stay away from him.

After SHS, my mom called me to come home for the child, and I went. He was five years then. I put everything he had together, went to the compound of his father’s house, and left him there. I traveled back to my aunt because, from all indications, she was going to help me through tertiary. My parents heard what I’d done and went back for the boy, but this time, they didn’t ask me to come for him.

My dad died when I was in my first year in training school. When I went home, I saw my son and couldn’t look at him in the face. He recognized me and tried coming to me. I avoided him until I finally left town without telling anyone.

I completed training school and started working. My mom sent me a message to come for the boy so he could attend a good school. I had no choice, so I went for him. He lives with me now, and I’ve looked for every opportunity to dump him somewhere. I’ve visited his father’s home several times asking where the man is. They tell me they also don’t know his whereabouts.

I’m currently thirty years old but have no love life because of my son. I’ll meet a man today and tell him I have a son, and the next moment, he’ll ghost me. I’ve met great people. Those with money and those with big hearts. They all vanished because they didn’t want a woman with a child.

So I stopped telling them I had a child. That’s how I dated Samson for two years, and all that while he thought my son was the last-born of my mother. I warned him not to call me mom. I asked him to call me by my name, and he learned to. But the truth does come out eventually, right? Samson got to know about it, and currently, he’s also ghosting me.

I regret this life already. I yearn to belong to a man. I yearn to have a life that’s only mine and not a child in it. Unfortunately, he’s tied to the hip of my story, and I can’t tell the story without him coming up. My aunt wants me to send him to her. She wants me to have a man first, settle with him, and later come for him. Sending him away doesn’t change the story, and I’m scared I will continue to hate him if I send him away, so he’s with me and currently learning to love him each passing day.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

It’s not his fault, but it’s also his fault. It’s not his doing, but he’s the one doing me—the reason I can’t find love. And then I had this thought recently that maybe the love I’m looking for is in him, and once I learn to love him, the rest will fall in place. So I’m learning. It gets better each day. Yesterday we looked at each other and we smiled. It felt genuine. It felt deep. Night by night, growth will happen in the dark, but we’ll definitely see it when the day comes. He’s mine. I’ll learn to treat him like he actually is.

—Debby

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******

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My relationships with men have been a rollercoaster. They mostly will love me at first until I let down my guard, and they’ll take everything away from me and run without telling me what made them run. I told myself I would never help any man I dated until maybe we got married. I met Eric after being disappointed by many men. I’d even had a boyfriend called Eric who stole from me and disappeared.

So when this Eric mentioned his name first, I told him the story of that Eric who stole from me. He laughed and said, “That Eric is not a true Eric. We don’t do that. We are more passionate and kind than that.”

We started as friends. We were friends for over two years because he knew so much about the kind of business I was in and decided to help me grow the business. I trusted him so much I let him in on many things concerning my business. It got to a point where we were inseparable. He could even spend the night with me working online on the business. He would fall asleep on the couch, and I would throw a cloth on him.

Actually, I fell in love with him even before he told me he had come to love me. I was cautious even though I’d known him for that long and he was a good guy. I didn’t go all out for him like I did with the men I dated first. I took my time to study him and fell in love with him properly. I used to tell him, “Of all the men I’ve dated, you’re the one who really had a tough time with me. Please forgive me.”

We became lovers and unofficial business partners. He had his own job he was doing. He was in the IT field and was working for an organization that didn’t pay him well enough.

A year as lovers came to pass peacefully and lovingly. We celebrated it as kids in love, but right after that, Eric hit a financial situation. At first, it was his father’s surgery. Then it was his mother’s drugs. Later, he asked for a loan—GHC5,000—which I gladly gave him. He started paying until I told him not to bother after he had paid GHC1,000.

He never stopped collecting loans from me, so it got to a point where I was concerned. He showed me his payslip and the loan he had taken from the office, which was being deducted. Apart from that, he had also taken a loan from apps that grant instant loans, including MTN Kwikloan. I decided to support him anyway because he was my boyfriend and also very helpful.

He told me a story about some money he needed, but the story didn’t add up, so I was triggered to be cautious. He took a loan to buy a drug for his dad. He came again asking for money to buy the same drug, so I asked how many times he was going to buy that same drug, and he said, “Oh, this is the first time I’m buying this for my dad.”

They say it’s hard to keep track of lies you’ve told, and that’s exactly what happened. I started looking around him for evidence of what he did with money. At first, I suspected betting. Then I felt he was owing something bigger than he told me, or he was in some addiction I wasn’t aware of.

I started going through his laptop whenever he was busy with something else. One day, I saw an email from a lady called Julia. The email came with an attachment, so I checked it. It was details of fees the lady was supposed to pay. She was schooling in Norway and had sent her fees to Eric to pay. I was like, “Who is this one too?”

I searched her name in his inbox, and every mail she had sent popped up. Most of them were either accommodation fees or something that had to do with her school. I marked that down as exhibit one. One day, he asked for money, and I said, “No, it’s becoming too much. I’m suspecting you’re doing betting. Open your phone and let me see the betting apps on your phone.”

He laughed and started typing his password slowly, trying to prove me wrong. I watched and committed the movement of his fingers to memory quickly. When he was happy that he’d proven me wrong, I was also very happy that I’d gotten his password. A few days later, I went into his phone.

Julia is his girlfriend. Not just a girlfriend—the lady was in school, but they were talking about marriage. The lady had sent photos of wedding gowns and suits and had asked him to give her money to purchase them. The most hurtful thing was that Julia knew about me. He told Julia I was his business partner and that he owned shares in my business.

I won’t even go into the kind of naughty videos and photos they exchanged. Even some of the videos he sent to her were taken in my bedroom. My heart was burning, but I couldn’t cry. Eii! What did I do to deserve this? I didn’t know how to address it without crying in front of him. A few days later, he asked for money, and I said, “Julia is looking for money again?”

He looked at me like he was looking at a ghost. I told him everything I’d read from his laptop and from his phone, and this guy knelt down and begged me, all the while telling me it’s not the way I think. “Tell me what the truth is, then. Who is Julia?”

He could never explain until I asked him to leave and never come back into my life again. To be honest, even when I sacked him, I was waiting for him to come back with a clear apology so we could have a proper conversation. I was hurting, but I was willing to forgive him if only he could prove that Julia was no longer in the picture. He never came back again, and it took me weeks to heal.

Just late last year, I heard Julia married a Ghanaian guy she met in Norway. My money went into that girl’s education, and I was hurt all over again that she got what was better for her. A few weeks after hearing that news from his own friends, Eric sent me a message asking, “Can we talk? I think I owe you an apology.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

The voice note I sent him, and the thunder and curses that followed my voice, I knew he wouldn’t dare say a word again, and truly, he didn’t. I haven’t stopped cursing him. May any woman who comes into his life disappoint him the way he disappointed me. Not only that, may his good intentions be met with stone-cold wickedness just as he did to me. We all ought to reap what we once sowed.

—Harriet

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******

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Vera Swanson is like many 5-year-olds.

Her favorite colors are purple and sparkly blue. She loves strawberries. Art is her favorite subject in school. She really likes drawing axolotls.

“They’re so cute. I made them today,” Vera said while sitting on her couch in St. Paul with her parents nearby, just days after federal immigration agents shot and killed 37-year-old Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.

She’s bubbly and extroverted. She can’t help but say hello to everyone she sees while running errands with her mom, Stacy.

She’s well-liked at her French immersion school and is proud she can count to 20. Her teachers enjoy having her in class. Other parents come up to Stacy Swanson instantly knowing who she is by hearing their children’s stories of Vera, even if their kids aren’t in Vera’s class.

Since President Donald Trump’s surge of Border Patrol and Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents became a constant presence in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Vera’s heard her friends say something is happening.

And Vera’s taken up a new hobby: setting traps at home.

“I do need to make one because the bad guys are taking mommies and daddies,” she said.

Vera and Stacy, like thousands of other children and parents in the Minneapolis metro area, are grappling with the reality of the Trump administration’s aggressive immigration enforcement operation. Since December 2025, ICE, whose campaign, Trump has said, is ostensibly about combating fraud, has not only resulted in fear, mass protests, unlikely community organizing, and two deaths—it has also wreaked havoc on school-age children, parents, and teachers in the Twin Cities.

Parents are figuring out on the fly how to tell their children about and protect them against armed federal agents, who are occupying the city and ripping people haphazardly off the street. Teachers are scrambling to instruct half-empty classrooms and keep students sheltering at home caught up. Students are facing an “unprecedented” disruption to their education for the second time in six years. And kids are wondering when they might see their friends again.

Talking to children about ICE

In an upheaval reminiscent of the coronavirus pandemic, federal agents have completely upended schooling in the Minneapolis-St. Paul metro area, which has a combined population of more than 3 million people. Local news outlet MPR News has reported that in districts with significant Border Patrol presence, as many as 40 percent of students have been absent in recent weeks.

Some teachers are instructing half-empty classrooms as students attend online for fear of going outside. Parents worry their child might be taken, especially after ICE grabbed 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos on Jan. 20 from his Columbia Heights driveway and used him as bait to capture his father.

The two were shipped to a detention center in Texas before a federal judge ordered them released. They returned to Minnesota on Feb. 1, though the Columbia Heights school district said four more children are still likely being held in a Dilley, Texas, detention center. On Feb. 2, the district canceled classes after a “credible” bomb threat was emailed to their schools.

The Columbia Heights Police Department said in a statement that they didn’t find any suspicious packages or devices. Classes resumed Feb. 3.

Swanson, 40, doesn’t sugarcoat what is going on and has tried to instill in her child a sense of duty to help those around her. She pulls from the stories her father, who retired as a sergeant in Benton County, told her when she was younger.

“I grew up listening to good guy, bad guy stories from my dad,” Swanson said. “I do the same for Vera. In our situation, ICE is not the good guys.”

Vera’s 5 and doesn’t fully comprehend what’s happening, but she knows she wants to help.

“All bad guys are trying to take dark skin people like my friend,” Vera said in an interview with Rewire News Group. “A lot of people have dark skin, so I try to keep them safe.”

Swanson is proud of her daughter’s conviction at such a young age, but it still weighs on her.

“I’m sure she’ll look back at this time in 20, 40, 60 years and say, ‘Wow, I lived through that,’” Swanson said. “I’m hoping that she won’t remember how stressed mom and dad were, or that it was a scary time. I hope she just remembers, like, ‘Oh, we went to a protest or we yelled because we wanted the bad guys to get out.’”

School disruptions

Mike Vestal, a third-grade teacher at Northport Elementary in Robbinsdale, a northwest suburb that borders Minneapolis, said the immediate chaos is apparent. Around 85 percent of the students at Northport are Black, Hispanic, or Asian and Pacific Islander.

“We’re sitting there trying to teach a class that is basically half here,” said Vestal, 61, who’s taught in the district for more than 30 years. “That makes it really difficult as a teacher.”

He worries, too, about what ICE’s disruption might mean in the long term. Robbinsdale, like most school districts in the metro—including Minneapolis and St. Paul—has switched to mixed modality, or hybrid, teaching. As of January 14, students in his district can come to class in-person or attend online for safety.

Around half of his 23 students are regularly not in the classroom.

“You can’t say to this student everything is going to be OK, because it’s not. Her mom did go to the detention center.”

– Mike Vestal, a third-grade teacher in Robbinsdale, Minnesota

Vestal said what pains him most is the cruelty of ICE’s violent campaign and the indifference some outside the Twin Cities have shown to their efforts. School is supposed to be a safe, fun environment for students. He still tries to make it that way, but fears the impending performance drop-off among students who switched to online learning or have simply been absent. Student performance declined during the switch to online learning during the coronavirus pandemic.

“Online learning is not great,” Vestal said. “It will never be the same as here.”

Vestal said he has at least been through the drill of preparing curriculum for online students, back in 2020 and 2021. But he struggles knowing he cannot reassure his students that everything will work out.

One day while Vestal was in the school office, a 9-year-old student who wasn’t in his class came running in. She said she was at the bus stop when armed, masked officers came up and started asking questions. Her mom came out and the officers went straight to her while the girl bolted onto the bus.

“She comes to school not knowing what’s going on with her mom,” Vestal said. “She’s breaking down and crying. We’re emotional. What do you say? How do you react to that? This is all new territory. That day was a blur to me. You can’t say to this student everything is going to be OK, because it’s not. Her mom did go to the detention center.”

‘No one wanted to go to school’

Luca, a 15-year-old Roosevelt High School student from Minneapolis who asked to only be identified by his first name, said school felt somewhat hollow in the aftermath of the death of 37-year-old Renee Good, an observer whom an ICE agent shot and killed on Jan. 7. Minneapolis Public Schools closed for safety reasons and canceled two more days of class when agents showed up and used tear gas against his classmates, a claim which DHS has denied.

“When I came to school, I found lots of friends and classmates missing. It felt scary,” Luca said. “I understood that no one wanted to go to school because of how scared they felt and about being abducted.”

Adriana Adams, a 16-year-old 11th grader at Johnson High School in St. Paul, said ICE’s chaos has jaded her. She already missed important formative school years during the pandemic. She should be playing softball and gearing up to hopefully go to the University of Minnesota.

Instead, she’s watching her classmates and their families live in constant terror.

“I just see kids constantly, basically just fearing for their lives,” Adriana said. “My classes are really empty now because students are scared to go to school or leave their houses. My life is just less humorous as it was before, and less content.”

Adriana, who is multiracial, wanted to join the hundreds of students at the state Capitol Jan. 14 for a walkout protest—partly planned by Luca—but knew her parents would worry. ICE might terrorize the gathering or, worse, abduct her.

“I don’t know how these kids are doing it,” said Adriana’s mom, Shannon. “I don’t think my generation could have held up as well as they are. Both my kids have taken it very well.”

Community groups have organized school patrols throughout the day to make sure ICE agents don’t harass or take children. The groups, largely made up of parents like Victoria Downey, 42, of St. Paul, clad in high-vis vests and armed with whistles, use social media groups or encrypted chats and pay special attention during pick-up and drop-off.

“I never thought I’d do this,” said Downey. “Frankly, I didn’t think I’d become a community organizer in this way, but that’s the role I’m playing now.”

Downey said her son, 5-year-old Otis, is still pretty upbeat. He was especially excited during the recent cold snap when his kindergarten class got to do indoor Harry Potter yoga for recess.

“But he’s a little more clingy than normal,” Downey said. “He needs more hugs. He definitely seemed upset at bedtime a few nights ago and wanted to sleep with me.”

Otis was especially inquisitive after Pretti’s shooting. Downey teaches a yoga class about a block away and was caught in the post-shooting chaos.

“Otis has asked questions about, ‘Were there ten ICE agents?’ And I said, ‘No,’” Downey said. “‘Twenty?’ ‘No, there were more.’ I’ve tried to keep some of the level of violence of what I saw away from him because I don’t think it’s good for him to see. I’ve talked to other parents about this. Our nervous systems are on high alert all the time. It makes it really difficult to be a good parent, to not react.”

She’s noticed her son is a bit more reactive as well, especially when he sees she is upset.

“I’ve had a tendency to just cry a lot,” she said. “I’ll see something or hear something—I’m OK with crying in front of him, but he’s come up to me a couple times and said, ‘It’s OK mama, I’ll protect you.’ That’s my job as a mom. I need to protect you.”

‘They could come back at any moment’

But the biggest stressor ICE has brought to the Twin Cities is uncertainty, parents told RNG. Uncertainty over whether they might abduct you or your child. Uncertainty over how to tell your children what the armed, masked men in the street are doing. Uncertainty over when they’ll leave. And uncertainty over how to rebuild once—or if—they’re gone.

“Even if they packed up tomorrow and left, I think that everyone would still be on edge for a long time,” Shannon Adams said. “Whether it’s a month, a couple months, a year, they could come back at any moment. And we all know that. At the drop of a hat, they could come back and start it all over again.”

Vera, too, didn’t know how long the bad guys or “naughties,” as she calls them, might be a presence in her life. It could take a year because she wants to make sure all the bad guys go away. She gets to see her friends, but is looking forward to seeing them more once ICE isn’t in her life.

She was happy to hear a “big, big, meanie bad guy goed somewhere else”—referring to Border Patrol commander Greg Bovino’s reassignment. If she were president and had her way, Vera said, she’d reassign the rest of the agents as well.

“I’d tell them, ‘Go and clean the house.’”

The post ‘Bad Guys Are Taking Mommies and Daddies’: ICE Upends Minneapolis Kids’ Lives appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "‘Bad, Guys, Are, Taking, Mommies, and, Daddies’:, ICE, Upends, Minneapolis, Kids’, Lives", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/ICEs-presence-in-Minnesota-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/03/ice-minneapolis-kids-immigration-parents/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-05 08:21:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "153425", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Bills Cracking Down on Abortion Pills Advance in States That Already Ban Most Abortions", "title_slug": "bills-cracking-down-on-abortion-pills-advance-in-states-that-already-ban-most-abortions", "title_hash": "0677e0de545c7ccbb903c36e5295a7a3", "summary": "State lawmakers in Indiana, South Carolina, Florida, and Wisconsin have introduced bills that would restrict abortion pill access. \nThe post Bills Cracking Down on Abortion Pills Advance in States That Already Ban Most Abortions appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Even though many legislative sessions only just convened across the country this month, efforts to restrict access to abortion pills are in full swing, particularly in states that already ban abortion.

Nearly 200 anti-abortion bills have been introduced in 29 states, according to an estimate by the Guttmacher Institute, a reproductive health research organization.

“In 2026, medication abortion remains one of the central battlegrounds in the fight over reproductive autonomy, with policymakers in several states pushing bills that would criminalize patients, restrict telehealth and mailing, and even misclassify abortion pills as controlled substances or environmental hazards,” Kimya Forouzan, Guttmacher’s principal policy adviser for state issues, said in a statement.

Some measures targeting abortion medication, including proposals in Arizona and Missouri, have not moved past introduction or beyond referral to initial committees. But lawmakers in Republican strongholds like Indiana and South Carolina have advanced bills that would allow residents to sue providers and manufacturers of mifepristone and misoprostol, key abortion drugs, for sending abortion pills into the state.

Those efforts echo laws passed in Texas and Louisiana that come with $100,000 payouts if plaintiffs are successful in court. Leaders in states that ban abortions have been clear that the intent behind these measures is to thwart the availability of abortion drugs, States Newsroom reported.

Our reproductive rights reporting team will be tracking abortion-related bills through biweekly roundups as sessions continue this winter and into the spring. Depending on the partisan makeup of a state’s legislature and other state government officials, some bills have a higher chance of passing and becoming law than others.

Efforts to restrict abortion pills in GOP-led states

Indiana

Senate Bill 236: The proposal would allow Indiana residents to sue anyone—providers, manufacturers, and distributors—involved in sending abortion medication into the state and let plaintiffs collect at least $100,000 if a claim proves successful in court. If a claimant cannot identify the manufacturer of the abortion drug, that person can sue all abortion drugmakers by pursuing wrongful death or injury claims for fetuses and pregnant people, Indiana Capital Chronicle reported.

The law would carry a 20-year statute of limitations. Women who took abortion pills and mail carriers could not be sued, and the use of the medication in other scenarios, such as miscarriage, would be permitted under the law. The bill also empowers the state’s attorney general to pursue litigation for violating the legislation.

Other abortion-related provisions in the bill include legally redefining abortion—treatment for miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies would no longer be considered abortion procedures. The measure would require providers to submit to the state health department information about the age, race, sex, and location of patients who sought care after abortions. The main sponsor of the bill tweaked language that would have originally made that information publicly available, Capital Chronicle reported.

Status: Approved by the Senate on Jan. 27 and referred to the House on Jan. 29

Sponsor: Republican Sen. Tyler Johnson

South Carolina

House Bill 4760: This bill would classify mifepristone and misoprostol as controlled dangerous substances, making them legal only by prescription. People who violate the law could face up to five years in prison, a $5,000 fine, or both, SC Daily Gazette reported. Pregnant women would be exempted from prosecution.

The legislation would also allow prospective parents and other relatives to sue manufacturers, providers, and distributors of abortion pills if use of the drug causes harm to the mother or fetus. Relatives have three years to bring that claim, but a specific payout isn’t mentioned.

Sponsor: Republican Rep. Weston Newton

Status: In House Judiciary Committee

Fetal ‘personhood’ proposal clears Florida House

House Bill 289/Senate Bill 164: The legislation would allow prospective parents to sue providers for the wrongful death of fetuses, embryos, and fertilized eggs, Florida Phoenix reported. Would-be parents could seek monetary damages for emotional distress and the fetuses’ potential salary if they had been born.

Sponsors: Rep. Sam Greco and Sen. Erin Grall, Republicans

Status: House approved on Jan. 15, in the Senate Rules committee

Bills requiring students to watch fetal development videos advance

Florida

House Bill 1071: An education bill that bans schools from spending money on diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives would also require students to learn about “human embryological and fetal development,” Florida Phoenix reported. Children in grades six through 12 would view a video about the development of fetal organs and another video about conception and human development.

Sponsor: Republican Rep. Dana Trabulsy

Status: Advanced in the House PreK-12 Budget Subcommittee on Jan. 29, in the chamber’s Education and Employment Committee

Wisconsin

Senate Bill 371: The measure would require school districts to screen videos about human growth and development, particularly the fertilization process, Wisconsin Examiner reported. The bill is backed by the state’s major anti-abortion groups, including Wisconsin Catholic Conference, Pro-Life Wisconsin, and Wisconsin Right to Life.

Sponsor: Republican Sen. Mary Felzkowski

Status: The Senate approved the bill on Jan. 21, and the Assembly concurred on Jan. 22; on Democratic Gov. Tony Evers’ desk

This article was republished from News From the States, part of States Newsroom. Read the original story by Elisha Brown here.

The post Bills Cracking Down on Abortion Pills Advance in States That Already Ban Most Abortions appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In this episode, Imani Gandy and Jess Pieklo unpack the federal charges brought against Black journalists and advocates in connection to an anti-ICE protest at a Minnesota church.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Imani’s column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles, is back in 2026! Sign up for her newsletter here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post The Justice Department Tries to Prosecute Black Journalists (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Justice, Department, Tries, Prosecute, Black, Journalists, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/BL-S09-E49-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/02/05/the-justice-department-tries-to-prosecute-black-journalists/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-05 08:21:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "153019", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Recognize Your F*ckability: A new mother’s guide to reclaiming pleasure", "title_slug": "recognize-your-fckability-a-new-mothers-guide-to-reclaiming-pleasure", "title_hash": "9e8205b4f77d372f32252da3d0833794", "summary": "Reclaiming pleasure after having a child is about embracing your new self and your desirability.\nThe post Recognize Your F*ckability: A new mother’s guide to reclaiming pleasure appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Reclaiming pleasure after having a child is about embracing your new self and your desirability.

The post Recognize Your F*ckability: A new mother’s guide to reclaiming pleasure appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Recognize, Your, Fckability:, new, mother’s, guide, reclaiming, pleasure", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/GettyImages-2247462964.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/recognize-your-fckability-a-new-mothers-guide-to-reclaiming-pleasure/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-04 02:22:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "152916", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Running Shoes", "title_slug": "best-running-shoes", "title_hash": "99e3a46f30b5ce1e47891f4c58e4629d", "summary": "Whether you're a seasoned marathoner or just starting to lace up your sneakers, the importance of selecting the right running shoe cannot be overstated. \nThe running shoe market has exploded, so you have a ton of options to find the right shoe for your needs, whether that’s something that’s low and adaptable for quick turns or something with more cushion for joint support.\nDo you suffer from knee pain, do you have flatter feet, need more stability, or are you pretty typical compared to the majority? Look at the shoe terms below to help gauge what you need, but note that every shoe is different, so it may take a few tries to get it right. \nStability: Designed for someone who, because of their gait, needs a little extra support. For some, that could mean you’re flat-footed and need arch support. For others, that could mean you overpronate while running — meaning you tend to put weight on the inside of your foot or roll your foot inward.Trail: Almost a hybrid of the running shoe and hikin", "content": "Whether you're a seasoned marathoner or just starting to lace up your sneakers, the importance of selecting the right running shoe cannot be overstated. \nThe running shoe market has exploded, so you have a ton of options to find the right shoe for your needs, whether that’s something that’s low and adaptable for quick turns or something with more cushion for joint support.\nDo you suffer from knee pain, do you have flatter feet, need more stability, or are you pretty typical compared to the majority? Look at the shoe terms below to help gauge what you need, but note that every shoe is different, so it may take a few tries to get it right. \nStability: Designed for someone who, because of their gait, needs a little extra support. For some, that could mean you’re flat-footed and need arch support. For others, that could mean you overpronate while running — meaning you tend to put weight on the inside of your foot or roll your foot inward.Trail: Almost a hybrid of the running shoe and hiking boot. These will have a sole that is thicker, to protect the wearer from uneven terrain, they are typically lugged to assist in better overall traction control, and should be made with weather-proof materials.Max-Cushion: These offer the wearer just that — a high plush ride. Typically, fans of high-cushion sneakers tend to have joint issues, including bad knees and are looking for a little extra something to make their run not only enjoyable, but bearable. Minimalist: These have barely any cushion. They are a great tool for those who want to increase the strength in their feet and lower leg muscles, but not necessarily ideal for everyday runs.Zero Drop: This style offers a ‘zero drop’ from heel to toe, which means that the cushion is the exact same height as your toes. Some zero drop options will have cushioning, but these do give the feeling of a barefoot running experience.\nNow that you’re acquainted with some terminology, browse through some of the best running shoes on the market to take you from neighborhood walks to full-fledged marathons.\nRELATED: Best Walking Shoes for Men\n\nThe Year's Best Running Shoes\n\nBrooks Glycerin 23\n\nThe brand-new Glycerin 23 is the latest high-cushion running shoe from the beloved Brooks brand. The upper features a new engineered knit that manages to be both durable and flexible, adding comfort to an already-comfortable shoe. If you’re looking for super softness and support in a shoe designed for road runs, this is your new go-to.\n$175 at BrooksRunning.com \nPuma Velocity NITRO™ 4\n\nPuma uses advanced NITRO™ technology in these shoes, offering superior responsiveness and cushioning in a lightweight package, so you’ll be able to beat your previous pace while feeling like you’re running on clouds. The rubber outsole has plenty of grip, and the heel spoiler offers a sleek look but also enhanced stability for confident strides.\n$140 at Puma.com \nNew Balance 1080v15\n\nFor the brand new 1080v15, New Balance went back to the drawing board, developing an entirely new cushioning technology, known internally as Infinion, to optimize energy return while still enhancing cushioning. A full rubber outsole delivers fantastic traction while a perforated mesh upper prevents heat from building up, keeping your feet cool even when your run intensity ramps up.\n$169.99 at NewBalance.com \nMerrell ProMorph\n\nThough designed for trail running specifically, the ProMorph is actually versatile enough to take on the road as well, especially if you prize a cushioned ride. Their premium FlaotPro+ midsole paired with the Vibram outsole deliver fantastic impact protection and traction, while the breathable mesh upper keeps air flowing.\n$160 at Merrell.com \nNike Vaporfly 4\n\nNike’s Vaporfly 4 took the winning formula of the Vaporfly 3 and shed weight across the board, resulting a lighter, faster shoe. A carbon fiber Flyplate and ZoomX foam midsole deliver incredible responsiveness and energy transfer, making this a go-to shoe for race days or when you're trying to break a personal best time.\n$280 at Nike.com \nHOKA Mach X 3\n\nHOKA’s Mach X 3 more than lives up to its name, emphasizing speed through the Pebax midsole plate that delivers a snappy, responsive ride and excellent energy transfer. The harder you push, the harder the shoe works to deliver acceleration through every stride. A combination of both PEBA and EVA foam in the midsole delivers high-rebound cushioning, while the sleek foot collar does a great job dialing in the fit.\n$190 at Hoka.com \nOn Cloudeclipse\n\nThe On brand has been going viral lately for their extremely comfortable shoes. They have a ton of shoes to choose from, but the Cloudeclipse offers max cushioning, with Helion™ superfoam to absorb impact and an ultra-thick midsole for a comfortable, cushioned ride. The built-in tongue connects to the upper to lock your feet in place while the mesh upper keeps your feet cool in the hottest of weather. On has gone viral for good reason; join the club for some incredible running shoes.\n$180 at On.com \nSaucony Kinvara 16\n\nThis shoe from Saucony is a daily runner’s choice thanks to its versatile PWRRUN cushioning, delivering both bounce and durability in a shoe that is notably more affordable than most of its direct competitors. A 3D-molded heel cup keeps your foot in place, adding stability to the shoe and minimizing energy loss, while the breathable upper does a fantastic job keeping your forefoot cool.\n$130 at Saucony.com \nKeen Roam Trail Running Shoe\n\nLooking for a great trail running shoe? Keen’s got your back (or rather, your feet). This speed shoe is an athletic hiker to take you from the gym to the trail. The KEEN.ALL-TERRAIN rubber outsole provides a higher-traction grip while the mesh upper is lightweight to speed up any incline. It has a removable, resilient foam insole for long-lasting cushioning so you can easily replace it for a longer shoe life. Keen also has a fully waterproof version of this shoe if you need one for more adverse conditions.\n$165 at KeenFootwear.com \n\nRunning Shoe Shopping Tips\n\nThe Fit: There should always be about one thumb’s width between your toe and the end of the shoe. The toe box and the shoe should fit comfortably without feeling restrictive or like it will start to chafe against your skin.Sizing: Don’t assume your running shoe size is the same as your walking shoe size, or the same from brand to brand. Measure your foot and check size guides, but also reviews as many will note if they find the fit to be more narrow than expected etc.Over- or Under-Pronate?: A good way to figure out if you over- or under-pronate when you run is to pull out an old pair of running shoes and see where the sole is the most worn. If all the wear and tear is on the inside of your heel and below your big toe, you likely overpronate. If the threading is worn until the balls of your feet and the small part of your heel, you're probably a neutral striker.Trying On: Try on your shoes later in the afternoon when your feet are a bit swollen from the day.Drop: The drop is the difference in millimeters between the thickness of the midsole under the heel to the thickness at the ball of the foot. If you have a strong heel strike and tight calves, you might look for a model with a higher drop, but if you have knee problems you might want to go for a lower drop, and if you have no injuries you shouldn’t be too concerned about the drop.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nHow to Prevent Running InjuriesBest Running WatchesBest Fitness Trackers for Runners", "keywords": "Best, Running, Shoes", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-running-shoes/askmen-lead-image-2x1-7-1769796515.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-running-shoes.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-04 01:37:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "152588", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why I Called Off My Wedding Just Four Days Before the Big Day", "title_slug": "why-i-called-off-my-wedding-just-four-days-before-the-big-day", "title_hash": "030e02c146182e6b7b0c5e873a3a2633", "summary": "When we started dating, our dream was to get married at some point. We didn’t set terms and conditions or even set a time and year we were going to …", "content": "

When we started dating, our dream was to get married at some point. We didn’t set terms and conditions or even set a time and year we were going to get married. We knew we had to be in a better situation in life before marriage would follow.

I was working for a company on a contract basis. Apart from the salary that wasn’t good, the job also didn’t promise any stability. The company owners could wake up one day and tell you that they no longer needed your service, and you would have to leave. I saw it with my eyes every day. All those who were told to leave left empty-handed. So each day when I woke up, I prayed to God to give me a new job that was stable.

My girlfriend was also a pupils’ teacher. After completing her national service, there was no job for her, so she started teaching while waiting for an opening. Nothing was going for us financially except that we had love for each other and were determined to make good things come from what we had.

A year after dating, she got pregnant. She panicked. I also panicked. The whole night, we couldn’t sleep. We were on the phone chatting, charting a course for our lives and the pregnancy. She asked me, “So what are we going to do?” I also asked the same question, “What do you think we should do?”

She asked how much I had saved, and I told her, “I think GHC 989.” She sighed. I asked how much she had, and she answered, “Please don’t let me make you cry. It’s nothing to write home about.” Our savings were miserable, just like us, but we were convinced we could make something happen. She said, “Let’s keep it. We can make it. Life changes, and ours can change too.”

So we decided to keep the pregnancy. In our minds, we would continue to save while keeping the pregnancy. After delivery, when we’d saved enough, we would get married. But she told her parents about it, and her father got angry. He called her names, including “a disappointment to the family.” He asked to see me, and I went. He said, “I don’t want to hear any excuses. You will marry my daughter before the pregnancy begins to show.”

I loved her and wanted to honor her, so I told myself even if I had to take a loan to marry her, I would. I told my family about it, and they were disappointed, but they didn’t cast me aside. They gave me their blessing and asked me to go ahead with the marriage.

We planned how we could get married with the little that we had. In our minds, we were going to have a small traditional wedding, where only family members were invited to the occasion, and later go to the court to sign. When we presented the idea to her father, he said no. “How could you marry my daughter as if you are marrying a chicken? When I say marriage, I want witnesses. It should be at home and before the church. What do you want the church to think of me?”

I told him I didn’t have the money. He told me I didn’t need to do everything with my own money. “You can take a loan. Aren’t you a man?”

My family went to meet my girlfriend’s family for a dowry list, which I thought would be cheap. If I tell you what was on the list, you’ll be shocked. I screamed. My family was shocked. We pleaded for him to reduce the items, and he removed a few of them, but said the money for the father-in-law and mother-in-law couldn’t be reduced. They deserved acknowledgment for the role they had played in their daughter’s life.

Yes, I took the loan. Yes, I started buying the things on the list. We fixed a date for the wedding, but nothing felt right. It was like I was being forced into debt and depression. I sat my girlfriend down, and we talked about it. She agreed with me but was afraid to go against her father’s wishes. Time was not on our side. We had only two weeks left for the wedding, but I woke up each morning a sad person.

I called my girlfriend one morning and said, “The wedding cannot come on. Your father should come and kill me. Look at all the money we are going to waste. Money we don’t have. No, I can’t do it.”

She pleaded with me that I’d already taken the loan, so I should go ahead with it. I told her I was returning what was left of the money. She asked what we were going to do, and I told her, “I’m very sure of us. It’s you I want to marry. I will come home and do the knocking rite. Once you give birth and God blesses my hand, I will marry you.”

Her father called me on the phone and insulted me like I was not a human being. “Look at how far we’ve come. Why did you make us announce the wedding when you knew you were not going to do it? Don’t step here with anyone. If you do, I swear you might not leave here alive.”

In my mind, I’d canceled the wedding. But her father held on to hope, thinking I would change my mind. It was four days to the wedding date when I continued saying no, that they finally sent a message across that the wedding had been canceled. The only person I needed on my side was my girlfriend, but she was also tired, angry, and frustrated about everything that was going on. She blamed me a little and got angry for days.

Her father didn’t allow me to their house, but I didn’t give up. I supported her throughout the pregnancy. I attended antenatal with her every day.

She was eight months pregnant when I got a new job. I told her, “The baby doesn’t want to fall into poverty, so look at what it brought us. This is pure luck.”

The new job came with new confidence. I approached her father, and he nearly hit me. “You can become the richest person in the world, and I still will not forgive you for the embarrassment you caused the family. Leave here before I commit a murder.”

She gave birth peacefully, a boy who looked like me. Still, her father wouldn’t allow me into her house, so when the boy was about six months old, I rented a two-bedroom house and asked her to move into it so she would have her own place I could visit. Her father said no. His daughter wasn’t leaving until she was married. I told him, “I’m ready. I can marry her the way you want tomorrow.”

The man simply didn’t like me. He was doing everything to frustrate me out of his daughter’s life, but thanks to sensible family members, they interfered. Even his own wife was against him. His church elders also intervened until finally he said, “I’m doing it because of God and not you.”

We still didn’t have a big wedding. Our baby was almost two years old when we had our traditional wedding. It wasn’t small like we wanted to do it the first time. Everyone was invited. We went to court and signed and later went to their church and thanked them for their support.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

To date, my father-in-law doesn’t talk to me, though he said he’d forgiven me. We’ve been married for seven years, but I’ve never talked to her father in these seven years. He wouldn’t even take anything from me, but I don’t blame him. He’s doing what his heart says he should do, just as I also listened to my heart and married his daughter. We both won.

—Dawson

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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My boyfriend is always claiming to be broke. He says he has no money at all. But when it comes to his family, he is willing to do anything. He would swim to the sea and bring them the moon if they asked. He is not even financially stable himself, but he still tries so hard for them.

When it comes to me, it is completely different. He does not give me money willingly. I have to ask, and even then it takes him a very long time. It feels like I am begging. I have to keep reminding him, and it is exhausting.

He does not like to comment on my pictures. Even when he does, it feels like he is forcing himself. He never uses pet names for me. He does not post my pictures. He says if I do not post him, then he will not post me. Is that really how a relationship is supposed to work?

This past Christmas, while other girls were receiving letters and gifts from their boyfriends, he did not give me anything. He did not even apologise for it.

Whenever I complain, he apologises so quickly that my anger just fades away. The worst part is that I like him so much, I always end up going back to him. But it has been two years now, and the same things keep happening over and over again.

Honestly, do you think he truly loves me? Maybe his love comes with conditions. He seems to like impressing people on the outside, but he forgets that he has a girlfriend he should be taking care of. He can buy a new phone for himself while I am stuck with a local phone, and it does not seem to bother him at all.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

He focuses only on what concerns him. It feels selfish. I have stayed away from every other man because he is a very jealous lover, he still does not take care of me. And he always tries to justify it.

What do you do with this kind of Lover?

—Maya

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Growing up, I didn’t see my father. The first time I asked about him, my mom threatened me with death, saying that the next time I asked about my father, I wouldn’t see the next morning sun. I was a child. I kept quiet while she talked about the evils of my dad. But the story kept changing.

One day she said she was happy my dad died the time he did. The next time she said wherever my dad was, she wished him nothing but curses. Another time, she said my dad should never find peace in the grave he’d be placed in. So I asked, “Is Dad dead or alive?”

She answered, “He’s dead to us. That’s the most important thing.”

I asked my aunts and uncles. I asked my grandparents, and they all didn’t have anything positive to say about my dad. They talked about him with angst in their eyes, like he was the worst devil to ever live. My grandfather, before he died, told me, “You’re a woman. Pray you find a good father in your husband.”

Two years ago, the feeling of getting to know my dad grew so strong I couldn’t go a day without thinking about him. So I called one of my aunts whom I got to know later in life. I begged her to tell me the truth. I promised to give her anything she wanted if she told me where my dad was. She said, “Your dad doesn’t know you exist. Your mom told him she got you aborted. It was your grandfather’s idea. I won’t go far into it, but that’s what happened.”

She was the one who showed me my father’s family house and where I could go and find him. One early morning, I set off to find my father. I spent three days in the village. No one could believe my story. They called him, and he laughed on the phone. He asked, “Are you sure she’s of sound mind?”

I took the phone and narrated everything my aunt said. He said, “Let me call you on a video call.” He saw my face and burst into tears. He kept repeating, “Wow, wow, wow… Is your mom aware you’re going around looking for me?”

He invited me to his place and had a DNA test done. He said, “I’m not doubting you, but I want to be very sure.” When he saw the results, he smiled and asked, “So why would Agatha do this to me? Her parents didn’t like me, but I thought she loved me. Did your aunt tell you why?”

My dad has four male children. He said he tried having a girl, but it didn’t happen. He’s a renowned contractor and has his life figured out. I didn’t look for him to be part of his family. I wanted to meet him, and I did. When I finally told my mom I’d met my dad, she asked, “You were able to locate his grave? Who took you there?”

I asked why she lied to me and why she lied to my dad. Instead of telling me the truth, she screamed at me, threatening me with a curse just to kill off my questions. I told her, “It’s okay. It’s your own story, so keep it to yourself, but don’t you ever dare try to steal my own story from me.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Today, I talk to my dad every day. He has come to visit me twice and has asked me if I need anything. I’ve met my other siblings and have met his beautiful wife. Dad is eager to fill the lost years. I see it in his eyes, and the fact that I’m a woman also gladdens his heart so much that he said, “I didn’t die without a girl child. Thank God!”

—Doreen

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My first day at work felt strange, like being a new student joining a school in the middle of the term. Everyone already had their people and inside jokes I didn’t get. I felt eyes on my outfit, my lunch, even my shoes. Then, one of the men in the office caught my eye.

He was the first person to ever compliment me there. “You smell nice,” he said. If you know, you know—being complimented on your scent is one of the most pleasant things ever. It makes you feel seen. Human. Later, he told me he was happy to see me, with a smile that actually felt warm. After that, we just started talking.

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He moved in certain ways, the way a man does when he likes you. I understood what he meant when he tucked my hair behind my ear. Between conversations, he’d lick his lips, or his eyes would linger on mine. I concluded he was one of the playboys, a woman’s man. Self-aware of his charm, and it showed in how he carried himself.

I knew all about his type. I’d heard the stories. The ones who promise love and leave you with a child, scars, trauma, and then disappear. The ones who make you hit the gym after the breakup. I knew he was a Mike. I knew his kind. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him after that first conversation. He filled my mind while I was just going about my day. It felt warm.

We started following each other on social media, which made it easier to, well, keep up with him in a harmless way. I could check where he went on weekends, see his photos from before I joined the office. Then he started commenting on my pictures. Not once, but a few times. It mesmerized me.

Then, I got a text from him: “Can I see you after work today?” I read it over and over. Another message followed, saying it was a matter of life and death. So I agreed.

We talked about his business. He’d made an investment that went wrong and lost millions. “You’re the only one who came to mind that I could speak freely to,” he said. While I was trying to soothe and encourage him, I felt his mouth on mine. He kissed me.

It happened again. A few weeks later he came to see me, this time all clingy. I asked him why, and he started confessing. He said he’d had deep feelings for me for months, that he tried to ignore them but they wouldn’t go away.

He keeps stealing kisses from me. Sometimes he calls it casual talk, but before we part, he takes one. Sometimes he goes quiet, then returns. Sometimes he sleeps at my place, not for the whole night, just an hour or two.

The signal here is mixed. He says he understands if I don’t want anything with him, and I’ve told him I don’t want anything that isn’t leading to marriage, at least not anytime soon.

But what’s confusing me is this: am I naive? Is my heart deceiving me? Is this guy serious about me, or does he only miss me when it’s convenient? Is he taking advantage of my kindness? Because he hasn’t dared to ask me to be his girlfriend. Am I just a fling to him?

I’m honestly confused, because I like him.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

And now, I find myself jealous when he talks to other coworkers. What is he saying to them? Is he turning to them because I’m holding back? If I was your sister, would you advise me to date my coworker? I can always find another job, but love like this, where you feel like you’re the only one who matters… that’s harder to find.

—Cara

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
\n
\n#SB<>

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I was the nurse on duty when a man brought a woman who had suffered a severe stroke and was unable to walk or talk. I called for help before we were able to carry the woman inside.

When the woman was finally admitted, my shift ended, and I left the hospital. The next day, when I came on duty, I saw him. You don’t usually see men taking care of women this way, so I assumed the woman was his wife. In fact, everyone assumed the same until I gave a prescription to him and said, “Your wife needs these drugs, and you have to get them from the pharmacy.”

He smiled and asked, “Why is everyone around here turning my elder brother’s wife into my wife?” He showed me his hand and asked if he was wearing a ring. I apologized for the mistake, and he said, “Don’t worry. Everyone says it, so I had to clarify.”

One day after my shift, he asked for my number. I gave it to him without asking why he needed it. In the evening, he called to say thank you. I asked for what, and he answered, “For taking care of my sister-in-law this way. You’re the only nurse with such patience.”

He told me his brother was abroad and that he was living with his brother’s wife when she suffered the stroke. We talked for a long while. I asked questions, and he answered.

This continued until one day, on my off day, I think, he called to tell me they had been discharged. Again, he thanked me and said he wanted us to be friends, which I accepted.

On my next off day, we met. He bought me food and drinks, and while at it, he proposed. I said, “You don’t know much about me. What if I have a boyfriend?” He asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

I didn’t have one, so I asked for time to think about it. I’d already been impressed by the way he stood by his brother’s wife at the hospital. I said in my head, “Only a man with a good heart will do that.”

It took me a few days, but I said yes to his proposal. He had made me understand that he was living with his brother’s wife and kids, so I didn’t ask him to take me home, especially when I knew the woman was sick. He would come for me when my shift was over and would bring me to my house. He wouldn’t enter my room until I begged him to, and he did.

We had our first kiss that day. He wanted to go all the way, but anytime he stretched his hand to the sacred area, my body froze and all feelings disappeared. I begged for time to prepare my body, and he understood me. That was also one thing I liked about him. He never forced anything. You tell him to stop, and he stops. You tell him you don’t like one thing, and he stops doing it.

I had a dream one day and saw him and his brother’s wife fighting. The woman called him husband in the dream. The surprising thing was, I didn’t see myself in the dream. When I woke up, I asked myself, “Why did they decide to come and fight in my dream? What’s the essence?” Then the tiny voice in my head said, “She called him husband in your dream. Don’t you think you need to investigate?”

It sounded silly, but I took it seriously and started asking him questions about his brother’s wife. Some days he would answer, but often he pushed the question aside and asked why I was worried about someone we shouldn’t worry about. One day I said I wanted to visit her. He said no. I said, “We’ve been dating for over three months. Let her be the first person from your side to know about us. She will be happy for us.”

He told me the woman was sick and didn’t want to worry her with his love issues. He never spent a night with me, even though I pushed him to. Each time we were together, a message would come, and after that message, his mood would change and he would later tell me he was leaving. I didn’t know his house, so when he left, I didn’t know where he went. I told him one day to at least take me to where he lived, show me the house, and bring me back. He said, “That’s not my house. Once he’s back, I’ll leave.”

I asked, “So who takes care of her when you’re with me?” He told me his brother had employed a caregiver who came in during the day and left in the evening.

I wanted to trust him, but my body said no. I allowed sex, but it didn’t feel right. My body rejected the pleasure and replaced it with questions.

I spoke to an okada guy in my area. I told him to follow his car and know where he went from my house.

It was a Saturday morning. He told me he was going to a funeral outside town, but he would return that same day. I asked the okada guy to take me to his place, and he did. I met a young lady at the main entrance whom I figured was the person he told me his brother had hired. I asked her, “Is Obed in the house?” She shook her head. I asked, “How about his brother’s wife?”

She asked, “His brother’s wife or his wife?” I answered, “His brother’s wife. The one who fell sick recently?” She replied, “That’s his wife. I’m the one who takes care of her. Obed is out of town, but his wife can’t speak to you because of her situation.”

When I stepped outside, I screamed, “Eiii, men! I didn’t listen oooo when they told me to fear men. Men!”

I called him and told him I was in his house. He asked me, “Which house?” I answered, “Where your wife is. There’s a lady here. She corrected my mistake when I called her your brother’s wife.” He went silent and then asked, “Who took you to my house, and why should you do that behind me? Who are you talking to?”

I said, “You haven’t answered my question. Is she your wife?” He went silent for a while before saying, “Okay, she’s my wife. What do you expect me to say or do?”

I cut the call, and that was it. Another story of a married man who didn’t tell the truth. Yes, he came back again, but I chased him out like a thief in the night and warned, “You try that again, and I will organize okada guys for you.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

My intuition was right. My body warned me, but I wouldn’t listen. My body showed me a film of the truth at night when I was asleep, but I still doubted. I wasn’t that hurt, but I still curse him wherever he is for lying to me the way he did.

—Shantel

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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Gender-affirming shapewear is the latest target of the Trump administration’s attacks on trans communities.

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In late 2025, the Food and Drug Administration warned companies that make and sell chest binders—compression garments resembling sports bras—that their products could be seized and their sales could be halted if they continued to market them as a treatment for gender dysphoria. Chest binders are commonly used by trans men and nonbinary people to minimize the look of breast tissue.

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The FDA classifies certain products as class 1 medical devices if they are marketed for medical uses. The Dec. 16, 2025 letter, which was sent to at least ten manufacturers and two chest binder retailers, stated that companies must register with the FDA because their devices “are intended for use in the diagnosis of disease” when marketed to “reduce gender dysphoria.” FDA registration costs $11,423, plus subsequent annual fees and the expense of developing federally compliant procedures and plans.

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Companies were given 15 days to explain how they’d correct these “violations.”

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More than a month later, many of the businesses that received the letter are still scrambling to respond—and worrying that the government will continue targeting them if they do.

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Who uses chest binders?

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Binders are not just used by trans people; cis men with gynecomastia, a hormone imbalance that causes enlarged breasts, also use them.

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But the FDA seems to primarily be concerned about their use among trans people, particularly trans kids. At a Dec. 18, 2025 press conference, FDA Commissioner Marty Makary said the agency was sanctioning companies “for the illegal marketing of breast binders to children for the purposes of treating gender dysphoria.”

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Makary also claimed that long-term use of chest binders has been associated with “pain, compromised lung function” and “difficulty breastfeeding later in life.”

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A 2025 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that some transgender young adults did experience back pain, chest pain, or shortness of breath while using binders. However, researchers found no long-term ill health effects.

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Rewire News Group spoke to three manufacturers and one retailer across the country who received the FDA’s letters. The letters were custom tailored to each business, but they all elicited a similar panicked reaction.

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Xander Shephard, founder of GenderBender, a gender-affirming clothing company based in California, said he was “freaked out” when he received the letter. It said that GenderBender’s chest binders were considered medical devices because the company’s website says binders could be used after top surgery and for gynecomastia.

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“Failure to adequately address this matter may result in regulatory action being initiated by the FDA without further notice,” the letter warned. “These actions include, but are not limited to, seizure and injunction.”

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“I’m not sure by business would survive if we only stopped selling chest binders,” Shephard said in an interview with Rewire News Group. “That’s our most popular category,” he added.

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In Shephard’s view, binders are only being classified as medical devices because they are marketed to trans people.

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“Push-up bras, which can be a gender-affirming garment and also temporarily shift breast tissue into one’s desired shape, would never get called a medical device,” Shephard said.

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Meanwhile, Shephard said, a sports bra carries similar compression-related risks.

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“There’s tons of shapewear that is being sold with no restrictions, including no age restrictions,” Shephard said. “It’s not about the compression. It’s about who it’s being marketed toward.”

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Shephard emphasized that his company does not market to children and “very few people under the age of 18 purchase binders.” However, parents and guardians do purchase binders for their children. He said he knows that because many thank the company for helping their kids.

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For trans teens, finding a garment that allows them to feel more at home in their body can be life-changing.

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“Binders are a temporary way to flatten the chest until someone decides [if] they would like to get top surgery,” Kevin, a transgender 19-year-old, told RNG. Kevin is using a pseudonym to protect his privacy because he is newly out.

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Kevin first purchased a binder when he was 14 from gc2b, a gender-affirming garment company that also received an FDA letter. He doesn’t think the legislation is really about consumer safety.

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Restricting binders to adult use only “would be detrimental to transgender youth,” Kevin said, adding: “I think they are simply trying to further oppress transgender people, and [it] is part of the plan to eventually erase us.”

\n\n\n\n

Though Shephard disagreed with the government’s assessment of his binders, he has tried to comply with the FDA’s demands. Days after receiving the letter, he removed two mentions of “gender dysphoria” on GenderBender’s website, even though they were not in reference to binders.

\n\n\n\n

For good measure, he also added a legal disclaimer that the company’s products “are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or physical health condition.”

\n\n\n\n

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‘Dumped in the deep end’

\n\n\n\n

Transguy Supply, which describes itself as a “trans-owned gender-affirming marketplace & community hub,” altered its website after receiving the FDA letter, too.

\n\n\n\n

“We updated our language to clearly reflect that binders are compression garments, similar to shapewear or athletic compression apparel,” owner Auston Bjorkman told RNG.

\n\n\n\n

Though Transguy’s website verbiage changed, Bjorkman said, “we are deeply committed to supporting trans, nonbinary, gender-nonconforming, and gender-expansive people through affirming apparel and gear.”

\n\n\n\n

“We will not allow intimidation or targeting to deter us from that work,” he added.

\n\n\n\n

Shapeshifters, a Vermont binder company, has taken a different tactic, refusing to remove mentions of gender dysphoria from its website. After receiving the FDA’s letter, its owners consulted with a regulatory expert and decided that binders are not medical devices and that the regulatory change is discriminatory.

\n\n\n\n

“The mere fact that other companies that do not market to trans folks … did not receive a warning letter [shows] this was transphobia driven,” said Shapeshifters co-owner Gwen, whose last name RNG is withholding for privacy. “Pulling out the trans-focused language that we have would really be gutting the core of who we are.”

\n\n\n\n

Gwen and her spouse, Bryce, bought Shapeshifters from the company’s founder on Dec. 18—a day before learning about the FDA’s letter.

\n\n\n\n

“Literally day one, we were dumped in the deep end,” Gwen said.

\n\n\n\n

Though it was an inauspicious start to their new endeavor, Gwen and Bryce say they aren’t demoralized. They see their work as an essential service for teenagers with gender dysphoria.

\n\n\n\n

During our interview, Bryce and Gwen pointed the camera at the thank you notes from parents tacked to the wall of the company’s office.

\n\n\n\n

If teens are prevented from getting binders, Bryce warned, “people aren’t going to stop binding. They’re going to go back to unsafe methods and get hurt.”

\n\n\n\n

Before commercial binders existed, people often layered sports bras or used fabric, ACE bandages, or even duct tape to bind their breast tissue.

\n\n\n\n

‘It’s a bra, you know?’

\n\n\n\n

The FDA is also going after small retailers that sell chest binders directly to customers. Tara, an adult toy store owner in a Midwest city who received an FDA letter, said she thought it was a scam—until she saw the binders campaign in the news.

\n\n\n\n

“I really freaked out,” said Tara, who asked to use a pseudonym due to fear of backlash. “We never marketed it as a piece of medical equipment.”

\n\n\n\n

Her store has been selling binders for at least 15 years, she said, including to veterans’ hospitals. There are an estimated 134,400 transgender veterans, according to the Williams Institute, a research center.

\n\n\n\n

“We have been paid by the U.S. government to provide these items for veterans with no issues for years,” she said, adding that those orders stopped coming in after Donald Trump election to a second term as president.

\n\n\n\n

Following advice from the store’s lawyer, she has unhappily removed binders from its website. Tara doesn’t understand why her store was singled out.

\n\n\n\n

“Literally dozens of retail stores” sell these products, she said. “TomboyX binders were sold at Target.”

\n\n\n\n

Drea Walker’s lingerie store, Up4Drea Lingerie and Romance Boutique in Fayetteville, North Carolina, also sells binders, among many other products. She hasn’t heard from the FDA, but she’s worried she will—and that she will no longer be able to carry what she sees as basic shapewear.

\n\n\n\n

“It’s a bra, you know? It just keeps your boobs under wraps,” Walker said.

\n\n\n\n

The binder company whose products she stocks, Gender Fluid, is on the FDA’s target list.

\n\n\n\n

Walker sees her store as a safe space for trans people in the Fayetteville area, which is home to Fort Bragg. Many of her trans customers are members of the military. Some come on their lunch break to try on gender-affirming clothing. Some servicemembers purchase binders for their children.

\n\n\n\n

Tara also sees her work as a kind of public service. Binders are a small percentage of what her store sells; she would not take a huge financial hit if the FDA stopped her from offering them. But it would hurt her community.

\n\n\n\n

“It seems directly targeted as an anti-trans attack,” Tara said. “It really puts at risk the accessibility of gender-affirming gear” that she sees as potentially “lifesaving.”

\n\n\n\n

Since the FDA’s anti-binders campaign began, several trans customers have told Tara as much. One sent a handwritten letter describing “the joy and the wholeness that they felt when putting on a binder for the first time,” she recalled. “And I started just bawling.”

\n\n\n\n

Tara worries that the FDA’s letter is only the beginning of a broader government campaign against gender-affirming garments.

\n\n\n\n

“They’re going to come after everybody eventually,” she said.

\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n

The post FDA Targets Gender-Affirming Garments, Warning Companies that Serve Trans Customers appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"you$ Enroll in a 1-on-1 mentorship with Chase Amante. Make serious upgrades to your girl skills, girl caliber, and what you are able to pull off in dating.

Are you ready to start getting the results with girls you know you SHOULD get?

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", "keywords": "Your, Chance, Work, LEVEL, with, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/02/chase-mentorship-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/your-chance-work-w-me-level-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-03 01:44:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151988", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Low-Effort Wins to Reset Your Mind and Body", "title_slug": "low-effort-wins-to-reset-your-mind-and-body", "title_hash": "532d56ecf1438813373718560ffbf54b", "summary": "Why Focusing on Small Victories in 2026 Will Set You Up for a Major Positive Transformation", "content": "Do you feel a little ..meh – like you could use a health and fitness reset? It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that you need to make drastic changes to reach your goals, but success often comes from starting small and building momentum. \nEnter small, low-effort wins. Instead of aiming to lose 20 pounds or run a marathon, there’s power in celebrating tiny victories on a regular basis.\n \n“Small, low-effort wins help us in two ways: by making our goals attainable via breaking them down into achievable goals, and by cultivating a sense of completion and success from the start,” says Jonathan Levine, LCSW and therapy lead at Equip. “Hard work becomes fun when you find success. These small wins create a small sense of mastery and give us fuel to keep working towards larger goals.” \nRELATED: Best Workouts to Boost Your Mental Health\nNeed inspiration? Here are a few small wins that only require a little bit of effort but can have a huge impact on your energy, well-being and motivation. \n1. Go to Bed an Hour Earlier\n \nYou know that sleep is important, but you also enjoy having time to decompress after work. The good news is, even going to bed an hour earlier can be game-changing for your body and mind. \n“Getting extra shut-eye allows you to reset your system and feel rejuvenated in the morning,” says certified personal trainer Fredrick Hahn of SlowBurn Personal Training Studios. \n2. Drink Half a Gallon of Water a Day\n \nGet an extra-large bottle of water, fill it up in the morning and aim to finish it by the end of the day. Drinking half a gallon of water daily is another simple win that can enhance muscular strength and improve your overall health, adds Hahn. \nThis is especially true in the winter, when breathing in cold, dry air can dehydrate you without the obvious thirst signals that come with being hot.\n \n3. Swap Out One Processed Snack for Real Food\n \n \nThere’s no need to go on an extreme diet to eat more mindfully and feel better in your body. Swapping out one sugary or processed snack with a healthier, nutrient-dense one is a low-effort win that can pay off in the long run. “For example, instead of having pretzels and popcorn as a snack while watching TV, have cheese and a piece of fruit,” recommends Hahn. \n4. Embrace Body Neutrality\n \nMaybe you don’t love what you see in the mirror right now – and that’s OK. Body neutrality can be a win too. “If you've been struggling with body image, don't try to jump to body positivity and radical self-love. Try to slowly move towards body neutrality. That can look like saying, ‘I see that my body is keeping me warm today’ instead of ‘I feel so fat,’” says Levine. \nOver time, shifting your self-talk from negative to neutral creates the space for a healthier relationship with your body.\n \n5. Make Your Bed Daily\n \nMaking your bed may almost seem like too easy of a win, but it can have a ripple effect on the rest of your day – and the rest of your year if you do it daily. “It gives you a sense of accomplishment and of doing something good for yourself first thing in the morning,” says Hahn. \n6. Meditate for a Few Minutes at a Time\n \nOne study revealed that four shorter, five-minute mindfulness practices were as effective as four 20-minute ones for improving mental health. Other research shows that five minutes of mindfulness meditation is enough to have a positive impact on stress levels. Even a few minutes of meditation can go a long way – and that’s a totally doable win. \n7. Journal One Page a Day\nLevine recommends writing one page in your journal daily as a low-effort win that can help build momentum and set you up for success: “Releasing pent-up thoughts makes space in our brains for something new. Plus, by completing one page a day (especially a small one) you are cultivating that sense of mastery, completion and success by hitting an attainable goal.” \n8. Get Into Strength Training\nGoals like mastering powerlifting or competing in a HYROX race can be great, but they can also feel daunting and prevent you from getting into strength training at all. \nThe truth is, even a low-effort strength workout on a day when you’re not feeling 100% still produces benefits, says Hahn, who adds that it will boost your mood, lift your spirits and increase your confidence even if you don’t push your muscles that hard.\n \nGetting started always trumps having a perfect plan that you never end up acting on. So, let the small wins above inspire your efforts and daily rituals. 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She was my course mate, and from the beginning, there was something special about the way we connected. What started as …", "content": "

I met her in Level 100 at the university. She was my course mate, and from the beginning, there was something special about the way we connected. What started as simple friendship gradually turned into something deeper. By 2023, we were officially together, and from that moment, we built our relationship with purpose. We were not just dating to pass time. We were dating with a future in mind. We talked about marriage, about life after graduation, about building something meaningful together.

Now, we are about to complete school, and instead of celebrating our journey, we are facing a problem that feels bigger than both of us.

Her family belongs to a church whose doctrine does not allow members to marry outside the denomination. Her father takes this rule very seriously. When she told him about me, he refused to listen. She tried everything. She spoke to him herself. She involved her siblings. She pleaded. Nothing worked. He made it clear that if she married outside the church, he would disown her. He even said she would not be allowed to attend his funeral when he dies. Hearing that broke my heart.

Because I love her, I was willing to sacrifice. I decided to join her church so we could be together. I thought that would solve the problem. Instead, it made things worse. She had told her father that I hope to become a pastor one day, which is true. But he believes that if I become a pastor, I will eventually influence her to leave their church. That fear made him oppose us even more.

Slowly, I began to feel like I was standing between a daughter and her father. Every argument they had because of me felt like a knife in my chest. I never wanted to be the reason for conflict in her family. So, with a heavy heart, I chose to walk away.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

Ending the relationship was the hardest decision of my life. I love her deeply, and my feelings did not disappear just because I said goodbye. Now, I am left confused, heartbroken, and unsure of what the future holds, wondering if love is sometimes not enough.

—Adu

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I met him four years ago, at a time when I wasn’t looking for anything serious. We became friends first, the kind that grows quietly through conversations that stretch late into the night. I liked him early on, and I could feel the connection, but I kept it to myself. Six months into the friendship, our conversations began to change. The tone softened. The questions became personal. The pauses carried meaning. I knew then that he liked me too.

We stayed friends for almost a year before we started dating. When we finally crossed that line, it felt natural, like something that had been waiting patiently for us. We’ve been together for three years now, and it hasn’t been easy. We’ve fought many battles, argued over small and big things, tested each other’s patience, and hurt each other in ways we didn’t always intend. Still, love somehow found a way to conquer each time.

One thing I noticed early in the relationship was how we handled conflict. Whenever we had issues and I went silent, hoping he would notice my pain and come to apologize, he did the opposite. He ignored me too. He could go days without saying a word, unmoved by my silence. Eventually, I would get tired of my own attitude and reach out to him just to end the tension. Even when I felt deeply wronged and wanted him to take the first step, he would stay angry, offended that I chose silence. Over time, I learned that silent treatment was never going to work with him. It wouldn’t soften him or make him reflect. So I changed. Whenever we had issues, I tried to talk immediately, even when I was hurt, because ignoring him only pushed us further apart.

Then came the bigger problem, the one that now has me questioning everything. He has been unlucky with jobs. For as long as I’ve known him, he hasn’t been able to secure a stable, well-paying job. His salary was always small, barely enough to survive on, leaving him with nothing to save at the end of the month. It was hand-to-mouth living, and I could see the toll it was taking on him and, by extension, on us. We were both growing older, and I started to worry about our future. With his current job, we were going nowhere.

He tried to get better opportunities, but nothing worked. Rejections became normal. Frustration settled in. At some point, I suggested he move to my region, where I believed there were better opportunities. I also talked to him about online jobs and other ways to make money through the internet. We discussed it, agreed on a plan, and he moved.

But after he arrived, something changed. It was as if all the conversations we had, all the plans we made, had vanished into thin air. He didn’t send his CV to the places I suggested. He made little to no effort to explore online opportunities. Days passed, then weeks, and nothing changed. I watched him settle into comfort while my frustration grew quietly. I spoke to him again, carefully, trying not to sound like I was nagging. That was when we decided to try Dubai.

He complained that even if he found a job here, the salary might not be any better. So we contacted someone who could help with the Dubai process. From the moment he came to my region, I supported him in every possible way. I didn’t hold back. I trusted him completely. He had access to my phone, my mobile money, even my bank account. That’s how much I believed in him.

He took money from my mobile money wallet often, and I never complained. He took money from my bank account twice, and I spoke up, calmly but firmly. I told him that account was strictly for savings. I had just started working there, trying to build my life. I also take care of my parents and siblings. My responsibilities are heavy, and that savings account meant security to me.

A few days ago, he took money from that same account again without telling me. I only found out when I tried to make a transfer and was told there was insufficient balance. He was in the room with me, watching as I struggled to call customer service, confused and stressed, trying to understand what was wrong. He said nothing. Not a word. After the call, it dawned on me that he had taken the money.

I asked him what he used it for. Deep down, I suspected it was for betting, something he had struggled with before, but he didn’t admit it. I was angry, hurt, and disappointed. I decided to stay quiet, hoping that this time he would realize how wrong he was and come to me to explain or apologize. It’s been almost a week. He hasn’t said a word. No explanation. No apology. Nothing.

I’m tired. Tired of the drama. Tired of carrying the weight of this relationship alone. I was even willing to take a loan in my name to help him travel for work. I have done everything a supportive girlfriend could possibly do, and still, this is how he treats me.

I want to break up with him, but I am scared. I don’t keep male friends. I have never cheated, never even thought about it. For three years, my world has revolved around him. I’m in a region far from my family and friends, working alone, building a life that feels increasingly lonely. The thought of starting over terrifies me. The loneliness. The heartbreak. The depression. All of it feels overwhelming.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

This situation is so embarrassing that I can’t even bring myself to tell my friends. I’m almost thirty. How do I start dating again? How do I open my heart after pouring everything into one person? He doesn’t seem like he plans to apologize or explain himself anytime soon. Meanwhile, I’ve been hurting in silence, questioning my worth, my choices, my future.

I’m exhausted. I’ve loved deeply. I’ve given generously. And now, I’m standing at a crossroads, afraid of both staying and leaving, wondering how loving someone so much brought me here.

—Beatrice

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I am a midwife with close to fourteen years of experience. I studied midwifery directly, so I went to school specifically for that and have been working as one ever since. About four years ago, I took a transfer from my previous hospital to work at a new health centre. Unlike the district hospital I came from, this was a smaller facility, and I was placed in charge of the maternity unit.

Things were going well. We were getting more members of the community to come in, and we even went into town to let people know the centre was open. Then I met a client during her labour. She had been attending antenatal care elsewhere but had moved to be near her mother, so she came to us. Of course, when a patient arrives, the first thing you do is check their antenatal book to review their labs and make sure everything is in order.

As I looked through her book, I noticed her HIV status had not been recorded. I asked her about it, and she explained that at her previous clinic, one test came back negative and another positive. It left her confused, and with all the back and forth, it seems her former midwife forgot to repeat the test. Now she was in labour and at my facility.

Since she was due for delivery, I repeated the HIV test right away. The result was positive. This was especially difficult because if she had been on medication earlier, it could have suppressed the viral load and allowed her baby to be born HIV free. But now, during labour, the risk was very high.

A lot happened during her delivery. When the baby’s head began to crown, I asked her to stop pushing, to calm down and allow me to check if the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck. It is a standard procedure. But in that moment, the woman raised her buttocks off the bed. I am quite short, and as she lifted herself, her lower body was positioned directly above my face. Without warning, she pushed with all her strength. The amniotic fluid, blood, and the baby itself rushed out straight toward me. There was no warning whatsoever. I stood there trying to understand what had just happened. These things happen, yes. But in her case, she was HIV positive, and what just happened could turn my life upside down.

I was drenched from head to toe. It entered my mouth, my eyes, even through my scrubs. Although I tried to spit it out, I knew I had swallowed some of her blood.

After such an exposure, medication needs to be taken immediately, within 72 hours. But because I was in a new health centre without those drugs on hand, I had to go to another facility. By the time I was able to access the first dose, it was already too late. The woman’s viral load was very high, and I became infected.

Three years ago, I started taking ARVs. Since then, it has been difficult. When I disclose my status to people, many simply withdraw. The men, they do not look at me the same way anymore. They look at me as if I am cursed, an abomination, a thing. And when men change, you know how mean they can get. I have had to endure it most of the time. They do not say why, but of course I know why. They just disappear, until you get the message and move on.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I often wonder if there is anyone out there willing to understand, to see beyond my diagnosis, and to be with me. It would mean so much to be loved for who I am, not limited by being HIV positive.

Right now, I feel stuck. I am tempted to settle for someone who knows my status but is disrespectful, unkind, or emotionally unavailable, because I am afraid I may never find a partner who will genuinely love me and walk through life with me.

—Maame Nurse

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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We started dating four months ago. It’s a long-distance relationship, so within these months, we’ve met only three times. We talk every day, both by voice and video.

I woke up one day, and she had put up my photo on her WhatsApp status, saying she was blessed the day she met me. I responded, “Awww, that’s sweet. I feel blessed having you too.”

Another day, she took a screenshot of us on a video call and posted it on her status, captioning it, “Every second with him is full of vibes and love.” I also responded and told her how much I loved her and how I couldn’t wait to see her again.

A few days ago, I woke up to a meme on her WhatsApp status that said, “I don’t trust a man who doesn’t show his girlfriend online. What is he hiding?” I thought it was just a meme, so I responded, “Ask again, what is he hiding?” She retorted, “You tell me what you’re hiding because I’ve never seen you post me.”

This turned into a huge argument about love language, insecurity, secrecy in relationships, etc., so I said, “I didn’t know it mattered to you that much, so I’ll do it.”

I posted her photo one early morning, and she saw it and didn’t say anything. Later in the day, I thought she had seen it, so there was no need to keep it, and I deleted it. A few moments later, she said, “You couldn’t even keep me up there for twenty-four hours. What do you gain when your status is empty, or do you want me to pay for the extra hours?”

I posted her again. Later in the night, she sent a message: “Let me see how many people viewed the status. Take a screenshot and send it.”

In her mind, I had excluded everyone on my contact list from viewing my status, so she was the only one seeing it. I said, “Who did this to you? Why don’t you have a little bit of trust left in you?”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

After arguing for several minutes, I sent the screenshot. Only thirty-seven people had viewed it, and she had a problem with that. She asked me to explain why only thirty-seven people viewed it.

This is a huge red flag of insecurity and lack of trust. Is it too early to run away from this relationship?

—Godwin

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": "Our, Relationship, Hasn’t, Been, The, Same, Again, Just, Because, WhatsApp, Status", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/freepik__expand__95814.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/our-relationship-hasnt-been-the-same-again-just-because-of-whatsapp-status/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-03 01:22:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151681", "lang_id": "1", "title": "God Moved in Mysterious Ways to Show My Best Friends Fighting Over My Boyfriend", "title_slug": "god-moved-in-mysterious-ways-to-show-my-best-friends-fighting-over-my-boyfriend", "title_hash": "37610abf2bed3ce3d532b086d501bd41", "summary": "My favorite hymn is in MHB 503. The first stanza says, God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform He plants His footsteps in the sea And rides …", "content": "

My favorite hymn is in MHB 503. The first stanza says,

God moves in a mysterious way
\nHis wonders to perform
\nHe plants His footsteps in the sea
\nAnd rides upon the storm.

This hymn became my favorite because it summed up what I went through in 2024. Adwoa was a friend I grew up with. We lived in the same area when we were kids, and we still live in the same area. Along the line, Adwoa introduced Mina into our friendship, and she became part of us. We were the three musketeers; if you offended one, you offended us all.

We went to battles for each other. We inherited each other’s enemies and bonded over conversations about our victories as friends. I started dating David before he traveled abroad. I loved him and decided to wait for him no matter what. So when Adwoa and Mina were chilling in love, I stayed lonely, committed to a relationship that existed online and in the air.

Adwoa advised me not to put all my eggs in one basket. “Do you know what he’s doing there with other women? And you’re here staying loyal?” I answered, “As far as my eyes don’t see it, I’m fine.” Mina called me the best girlfriend of the century. “You’re the only woman alive who is waiting for a boyfriend who may never come.”

I took all that in good faith, waiting for David to come so we could prove them wrong. At some point, David started asking me questions about things I never thought he would know. He knew the places I went and asked questions about them. He knew the men coming into my life to propose and asked why I was still talking to them if I didn’t accept their proposals.

It felt strange, but none of my friends had his contact, so I asked myself, “Then who could be telling this guy stories about me?” He later told me he’d set spies on me, and they watched my every step. I believed him, so I became very watchful of the places I went and who I talked to. I told my friends everything David told me, and they even said it was someone from my house who was giving David information.

David was away for two years. Within these two years, my friends kept many relationships while I stayed lonely. When David returned, it was a fanfare in town. Finally, what was mine was close to me. What was love that we didn’t celebrate? What was fun that we didn’t have? What was sex that we didn’t have?

He was going to stay for only a month, so I decided to take him all in and build beautiful memories before he left. Then Mina and Adwoa started having issues with each other. Neither of them could tell me about it, but they always fought around me. Mina would say, “It’s fine,” but wouldn’t talk to Adwoa. Adwoa would say she wasn’t fighting with Mina but would stay away from her.

One afternoon, I went to see Adwoa and met her throwing punches with Mina. They were physically fighting, removing wigs and biting each other. Men were there but couldn’t separate the fight. I kept screaming, “What has come over you? Stop it. You girls should stop.”

It felt like my voice was gasoline to a fire. The more I screamed, the more the fight continued. When they finally separated, they started insulting each other and accusing each other of things that happened in the dark.

Why were they fighting? Let me tell you.

So, Adwoa was sleeping with David. David was sleeping with Mina and also with me. Mina was the one giving David all the information he said a spy was giving him. She was trying hard to destroy our relationship even before David came back. Adwoa was also talking to David on the side, doing video calls and sending nudes. David was busy enjoying my friends and also enjoying me.

Mina suspected Adwoa was having an affair with David, so she took David’s phone, and that was when she saw the nudes. But the fight that day started because Mina went to tell Adwoa to stay off David, or else she would tell me everything that was going on. Not knowing this, Adwoa also knew Mina was in the picture with David, so the fight started. Mina was cheating with my boyfriend and yet had the audacity to be jealous because my boyfriend was cheating on me and her with Adwoa.

They confessed while they fought, forgetting I was there watching them. According to those there, David was also around when the fight started, but he ran away. I was so shocked I wanted to cry, but when I opened my mouth, it was laughter that came out. I kept screaming, “What? Am I dreaming or what?”

When they finally kept quiet and saw me standing and watching them, they parted shamefully without saying a word to me. I called Mina, but she didn’t look back. Adwoa entered her room, and I was left standing there. The only thing that came to my head was this hymn: “God moves in mysterious ways.”

If it wasn’t mystery that led me to the truth, then what pushed me to Adwoa’s house in the first place? I went to buy my favorite street food, but the woman hadn’t finished setting up, so I decided to go to Adwoa’s and while away time since she lived closer. All the time they were telling me David was cheating abroad, I believed them, but I prayed and said to God, “Show me if that’s true. You know I’m being faithful. If he’s not and he’s only wasting my time, please show me a sign.”

When I went to Adwoa’s room to ask questions, she told me she was not ready to talk and even went as far as telling me she didn’t owe me any explanation, so I should talk to my David. When I walked out of her room, the fifth stanza of the hymn entered my head:

His purposes will ripen fast
\nUnfolding every hour
\nThe bud may have a bitter taste
\nBut sweet will be the flower

See how His purpose unfolded before my very eyes, telling me the enemy wasn’t the snake in the forest but the sheep I dined with. What I saw left a bitter taste in my mouth, but guess what? It was meant for my good, so it tasted sweet afterward.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

David was supposed to leave the country in a week’s time, but he disappeared that very day, and I didn’t see him again until he left the country. The only explanation he gave me was, “Were you also not cheating when I was away? Who didn’t know?”

I lost my best friends and lost my boyfriend. I was back to being alone, but it was worth it. Who needs friends if these two could be called friends?

—Wendy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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$\"once$ You’ve pulled a girl, you’re out of the venue, but now she wants to go back. Should you take her back inside or find a way to get her to stay out with you?

Commenting on my article “Kissed a Girl But Now She Won't See You Again? You Messed Up”, Eugene says

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Dont, Take, Girls, Back, Places, AFTER, Youve, Left, with, Them", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/dont-go-back-after-pulling-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/dont-take-girls-back-places-after-youve-left-them", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-02 02:30:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151049", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Women Love Chaotic Clubs (And How to Use It to Your Advantage)", "title_slug": "why-women-love-chaotic-clubs-and-how-to-use-it-to-your-advantage", "title_hash": "fede1d8fd433bff2bbd4541e3433559b", "summary": "Chaos defines nightgame. Discover why chaotic clubs attract women and how this double-edged sword can be strategically used to your advantage.\nHey guys and welcome back.\nToday I want to discuss a nightgame theory that will, I believe, help you make sense of nightgame and its overall dynamic, and more importantly, help you navigate it.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"chaos$ Chaos defines nightgame. Discover why chaotic clubs attract women and how this double-edged sword can be strategically used to your advantage.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today I want to discuss a nightgame theory that will, I believe, help you make sense of nightgame and its overall dynamic, and more importantly, help you navigate it.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Women, Love, Chaotic, Clubs, And, How, Use, Your, Advantage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/chaos-nightgame-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-women-love-chaotic-clubs-and-how-use-it-your-advantage", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-02 02:30:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151047", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Cheap & DIY Valentine's Day Gifts for Her", "title_slug": "cheap-diy-valentines-day-gifts-for-her", "title_hash": "9d086b5c30d9456b7270bf4ee8344b4c", "summary": "Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and while it's definitely a positive holiday designed to celebrate your love for another person, it can also cause all kinds of stress. There's the obvious stress about picking a restaurant or activity, or the stress of choosing the right gift, but there's also financial stress: Valentine's Day can get expensive, fast. \nIn fact, according to the National Retail Federation, people celebrating Valentine's Day last year spent an average of almost $200 between flowers, gifts and food, which is a whole lot of money when times are tough.\nNevertheless, where there’s a will there’s a way. Despite what you might have heard, Valentine's Day gifts don’t have to come with a triple-digit price tag to make an impact. In fact, we’d argue it’s the thoughtful, non-flashy items that get the best response.\nRELATED: Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Her\nWhether you’re in a new relationship or you’re one matching sweatsuit away from becoming an old married couple, we’ve got a ", "content": "Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and while it's definitely a positive holiday designed to celebrate your love for another person, it can also cause all kinds of stress. There's the obvious stress about picking a restaurant or activity, or the stress of choosing the right gift, but there's also financial stress: Valentine's Day can get expensive, fast. \nIn fact, according to the National Retail Federation, people celebrating Valentine's Day last year spent an average of almost $200 between flowers, gifts and food, which is a whole lot of money when times are tough.\nNevertheless, where there’s a will there’s a way. Despite what you might have heard, Valentine's Day gifts don’t have to come with a triple-digit price tag to make an impact. In fact, we’d argue it’s the thoughtful, non-flashy items that get the best response.\nRELATED: Valentine’s Gift Ideas for Her\nWhether you’re in a new relationship or you’re one matching sweatsuit away from becoming an old married couple, we’ve got a huge range of gift ideas for you that won't break the bank. These thoughtful gifts and DIY ideas are just as impactful (or even more so) than that big-ticket item you may have been eyeing. In fact, we have a feeling that she’ll appreciate your thoughtful gesture, no matter what you get for her.\n\nBest Affordable Valentine's Day Gifts for Her\n\nThe Pearl Source Freshwater Cultured Pearl Pendant\n\n\nLooking for a fresh way to say “I love you”? This affordable necklace combines elegance and sophistication, centered around the cultured freshwater pearl (available in pink or white) clutched by the clasp. Add to that a sterling silver chain and you get a beautiful necklace at an affordable price. \n$60 at Amazon.com\nCanvas Tote Bag\n\n\nGreat gifts don't have to be expensive, especially if they're practical, and we guarantee she'll get a lot of use out of this canvas tote bag, available in 17 distinct color combinations. Its extra-large design makes it easy for her to carry all her daily essentials, while the comfy shoulder straps and dense threading ensure it can stand up to the toughest of challenges. We especially love the handy zippered enclosure and handy side pocket.\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\nMeUndies V Day Undies Gifting Bundle\n\nMeUndies has cracked the code for making affordable, stylish and quality underwear for both men and women, and there are fewer better bargains in the category than their V-Day bundle. You can choose from three different cuts and multiple color and pattern combinations, making it easy to find your girl her ideal pair.\n$46 at MeUndies.com \nThe Hair Edit Sleek Chignon French Hair Pin\n\n\nIf your girl likes to wear her hair up, whether in a bun, updo, top knot or half-up style, she'll definitely appreciate a good hair pin, like this soft gold model from The Hair Edit. Its smooth finish helps it glide easily through her hair without pinching or catching, while the extra-long design offers lasting hold. \n$12.99 at Amazon.com\nLavanila Vanilla Grapefruit Perfume for Women\n\n\nPerfume is a perennial good choice for a Valentine's Day gift, and we're in love with this option from Lavanila. Featuring uplifting citrus notes provided by pink grapefruit and fresh lime, tempered by a hint of vanilla and warm cedarwood, this a long-lasting, subtle and versatile scent that can be worn day or night.\n$52 at Amazon.com\nBrooklyn Candle \"Love Potion\" Limited Edition Boxed Candle\n\nThere's no better way to set the mood this Valentine's Day than by lighting up the \"Love Potion\" candle from the Brooklyn Candle Studio. With notes of soothing lavender, exciting jasmine, and refreshing mandarin, this candle will make your living room smell like a bouquet of flowers. Even the packaging is on point, with a textured box featuring a simple red heart, and you can feel good about your purchase, since Brooklyn Candle donates 10% of their Love Potion proceeds to a public charity devoted to caring for cardiac surgery patients and their families. \n$36 at BrooklynCandleStudio.com\nAppointed Notebooks & Notepads\n\nWhether your girlfriend is a student, diarist, budding artist or obsessive note-taker, she'll absolutely love Appointed's notebooks and notepads. This is the perfect gift to show her that you support her hobbies, and she'll be reminded of you every time she uses it. Get it monogrammed for an extra special touch.\nFrom $25 at Appointed.co\nBonsai Starter Kit\n\nWhether you pick up a bonsai starter kit to work on together, or you choose to get a head start and give it to her in lieu of flowers, this comprehensive starter kit makes it super easy to grow your own indoor bonsai tree. The step-by-step guide makes it pretty much fail-safe, even if your thumb isn’t necessarily green.\n$26.99 at Amazon.com\nRELATED: Valentine's Day Gifts for Him\nApril Soderstrom Featherweight Omega Earrings\n\nThese simple but striking earrings will complement just about any ensemble. They're great for formal affairs and business dealings alike. What's more, they're made from 14K-filled gold, so they won't irritate her ears.\n$25 at AprilSoderstrom.com\nHerbivore Coconut Bath Soak\n\nThe ultimate cure for whatever ails, Herbivore’s coconut bath soak is designed to hydrate and soften the skin while releasing a relaxing aroma of natural coconut and vanilla. \n$24 at Amazon.com\nMinnetonka ‘Cally’ Slipper\n\nThere’s nothing quite like a gift that will pamper her for years to come. This Minnetonka super soft moccasin features a rubber sole so she can keep her feet warm and cozy while padding around the house or out running errands.\n$59.95 at Amazon.com\nSpark Romance Matches\n\nSelf-described as “romance in a box,” this box of “matches” is filled with sweet, and slightly sexy conversation starters, date ideas, and ways to express love that will deepen your connection and “spark” romance.\n$12.95 at Amazon.com\nRELATED: Best Jewelry for Her\nSoma Brew Bottle\n\nFor the gal who loves a cold brew any time of year, Soma’s Brew Bottle is a simple (and affordable) way to elevate her morning routine. Featuring ultra-simple mechanics and a solid build, this bottle can prepare cold brew, pour-over coffee and loose leaf tea — at home or on the go.\n$40 at Amazon.com\nKate Spade Love Ring Dish\n\nSmall but stunning, this metal ring dish will ensure she never misplaces her precious jewels. Whether set by the kitchen sink, on her nightstand or her desk at work, it's a constant cute reminder of your sweet relationship.\n$50 at Amazon.com\n'Our Soppy Love Story: A Journal About Us'\n\nOur Soppy Love Story follows illustrator Philippa Rice's everyday romance with her partner; but the charming comics are so relatable, it could easily be chronicling the ups and downs and mundanities of any long term relationship. The Soppy Journal allows couples to come together and fill out fun journaling prompts meant to bring them closer together by way of sparking silly conversations.\n$8.98 at Amazon.com\nGlossier Lip Gloss\n\nIf she hasn't joined the cult of Glossier yet, she's about to become a convert. The thoughtfully created beauty products are not only killing it in the packaging department, but the no-fuss makeup is made to feel as if you’re not wearing any at all. Glossier’s Bomb Dot Com trio includes three of the brand’s top-selling products. Flavors range from birthday cake and mint to cherry and berry. \n$42 at Glossier.com\n‘I Like You, I Love You’ - Carissa Potter\n\nHead over heels for your girl and looking for a gift that has a little romance? Carissa Potter’s I Like You, I Love You has all the butterfly feelings of an over-the-top romantic gesture but without the over-the-top price tag. The adorable book perfectly illustrates all the little stages of falling in love.\n$12.95 at Amazon.com\nRELATED: Cheap Valentine's Day Gifts for Him\nCasio Classic Round Analog Watch\n\nFor the gal who’s less into glitz, this Casio number is a happy compromise. Its simple black silicone band and sleek white dial give it a streamlined look, while its dainty size lends it femininity.\n$29.95 at Amazon.com\nBAIMEI Jade Roller\n\nYou might not understand it, but trust us, she’ll be impressed with your in-the-know gift selection with this one. Made of 100 percent jade, this beauty tool is designed to cool the face and reduce puffiness.\n$15.99 at Amazon.com\nPersonalized Pet Portrait Necklace\n\nIf her one true love is her dog, you may as well accept and embrace it. The personalized pet portrait necklace takes a photo of her beloved Fido and translates it into a piece of wearable art. What’s more, it’s delicate enough for her to wear every day, so she can always have her pup with her.\nFrom $11.50 at Etsy.com\n'Our Adventure Book'\n\nGive your endless photo roll memories a home with this easy-to-use scrapbook. Our Adventure Book touts 80 double-sided, fade-proof pages, stickers, lace, and everything else you’ll need to pull together a thoughtful book of memories. We have a sneaking suspicion this DIY project will find a happy home on her coffee table for years to come.\n$13.99 at Amazon.com\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tUnique Valentine's Day Gifts\n\tLast-Minute Valentine's Day Gifts for Him\n\tLast-Minutes Valentine's Day Gifts for Her", "keywords": "Cheap, DIY, Valentines, Day, Gifts, for, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/home/cheap-valentine-s-day-gifts-for-her/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1769629015.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/home/cheap-valentine-s-day-gifts-for-her.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-02 02:30:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151048", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Premium Deodorants for Men", "title_slug": "best-premium-deodorants-for-men", "title_hash": "b4d0ba7bbd10099c95e8289a046f1ecd", "summary": "Level Up Your Daily Grooming Routine With These Sweet-Smelling, Odor-Fighting Deodorants", "content": "As detailed as a man’s grooming routine can get, there are certain basic steps not to be overlooked: Applying your pick of deodorant or anti-perspirant is one of those basic steps that can feel like muscle memory. Date nights, major days at the office and really, all 365 days a year call for at least a swipe of deodorant, right? But there are levels to this men’s grooming staple, and the best premium deodorants unlock a world of luxury, performance and outstanding quality.\nIt might seem funny at first to splurge on one of the best premium deodorants for men, but the logic applies that if you’re wearing something every single day, shouldn’t you invest a bit more into the process?\n \nThat also means continuing to pay attention to natural ingredients, and, ideally, deodorants made without parabens or sulfates. Finding your signature scent is another consideration: Want a clean, ocean-like or floral aroma? Or something more woodsy and deep, not unlike a cologne? The world of premium deodorants awaits. \nRELATED: Best Solid Colognes for Men\nWhile drug store staples get the job done handily, leveling up your deodorant delivers results right away – results that just might keep you coming back. Be it in matters of ingredients, performance, packaging or scent quality, the top men’s premium deodorants on the market will change the way you think about this step in your daily routine, not to mention the way you smell (in a positive, head-turning way).\n \nPatricks ND1 High Performance Made in the USA Deodorant\n\nFrom the futuristic packaging to the scientific level of care, scent quality and performance packed into one luxe package, Patricks is changing the game for men’s grooming at every single level. And if “made in the USA” is a rarity in the apparel world, it’s even more rare in the world of men’s grooming. This might just be the best premium deodorant on the market.\n$60 at Patricks.co \nMalin + Goetz Deodorant\n\nMalin + Goetz is both a trending name in the grooming landscape and a surefire sign of quality (note the brand’s presence in boutique hotels worldwide). Its deodorant gets down to business, promising 12-plus hours of odor protection with a residue-free finish. Remember to allow your body time (up to two weeks) to adjust to this premium natural deodorant.\nFrom $15 at Nordstrom.com \nMurdock London Black Tea Deodorant\n\nMurdock London treats its aluminum-free deodorant not unlike a fine fragrance, focusing on notes like cedarwood and lemon in addition to its spritz of black tea scent. The result is an engaging, versatile scent offering consistent protection in a natural package. What more could you ask for out of a premium deodorant?\n \n$26 at Nordstrom.com \nChanel Bleu de Chanel Deodorant Stick\n\nYes, Chanel makes deodorant – and it comes in a scent for which the design house has become known. This deodorant stick was designed to invigorate and uplift, and honestly, there might not be a more luxurious form of deodorant on the market, and certainly none bearing a name quite like Chanel.\n \n$47 at Nordstrom.com \nEvery Man Jack 48-Hour Premium Deodorant\n\nNFL star and Tampa Bay QB Baker Mayfield trusts Every Man Jack, and it doesn’t hurt that the brand has leveled up everything from its packaging to the ingredients in its Premium Deodorant. The use of innovative ingredients like postbiotics (to balance your skin) and tapioca starch (to absorb moisture) elevate this deodorant at an exceptionally fair price tag.\n$9.99 at Target.com \nJack Black Pit Boss Anti-Perspirant and Deodorant\n\nJack Black’s Pit Boss deodorant does exactly what it says it does, and then some. The refined packaging is a bonus for the modern man, while a range of rich scents add diversity to your grooming routine, and the easy-glide design leaves behind no residue, so you needn’t sweat high-pressure moments.\n$22 at Amazon.com \nMANSCAPED Ultra-Premium Deodorant\n\nMANSCAPED has been on an impressive mission in recent years to change the way guys approach grooming below the belt, and that extends above the belt with its Ultra-Premium Deodorant. The company boasts its deodorant uses a cologne-quality scent, all the while offering a clear and aluminum-free formula.\n$12.99 at Amazon.com \nYves St. Laurent Y Deodorant\n\nThe same refinement signaled by Yves St. Laurent’s runway-ready collections can carry over to a deodorant in matters of both luxurious scent and quality. It’s the small details in your routine that make a difference day to day, and you assuredly won’t forget a swipe or two of this surprisingly high-end deodorant before you dash out the door.\n$34 at Amazon.com \nHygieneLab Men’s Deodorant\n\n \nThere’s both an art and a science behind the best men’s deodorants, and HygieneLab’s offering boasts 24-hour-plus scent protection in an appealing Sandalwood scent. This product also takes a verified approach to the chemical-free process: It’s Environmental Working Group-certified, so you can feel great about this luxe-smelling deodorant (at least, we think so).\n$26 at Amazon.com \nBaxter of California Deodorant\n\n \nAdd some West Coast inspiration to your medicine cabinet with this remarkably well-reviewed, fan-favorite deodorant from a company also known for its stellar pomade. This gel stick deodorant packs plenty in a compact, vivid blue package, featuring a pleasing cedarwood and oakmoss scent while remaining free from aluminum and harmful chemicals.\n$22 at Amazon.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\n Best Beard OilsWhy You Should Switch to a Solid CologneBest Natural Deodorants for Men", "keywords": "Best, Premium, Deodorants, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-premium-deodorants-for-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1769613702.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-premium-deodorants-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-02 02:30:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151045", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him 2026", "title_slug": "best-valentines-day-gift-ideas-for-him-2026", "title_hash": "6b8fe0c6e3fc4465d1244aa49e2d7fa2", "summary": "She is getting you something in return for the flowers and chocolate, right? Well, maybe you should show her this list.", "content": "Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and that means millions of people all over the world will be scrambling to find the perfect gift for their significant other. If you're feeling lazy or uninspired, or if you're only just started dating someone and don't know enough about them yet to pick out a really personal gift, it's of course always acceptable to opt for the standard box of chocolates or bouquet of flowers, but if you're looking to take things up a notch or just want to impress with the gift you give, you need to put some energy into choosing the right present.\nAnd if you happen to be shopping for a man, well, that can be downright annoying. Us guys are notorious for being tight-lipped about what we want, which can make it difficult to shop for us. \nRELATED: The Best Valentine’s Day Gifts for Women\nThat's why we scoured the web high and low to bring you the best Valentine’s Day gifts for him. From budget-friendly buys to investment items, gadgets and gear to clothing and games, it’s all here; there are even a few kinky surprises thrown in for good measure.\n\nBest Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\nMVMT Chrono Watch\n\n\nSure, he might not need to keep tabs on the time lately, but a watch serves as a timeless accessory and great gift nevertheless. This sleek, blacked out model from MVMT checks all the boxes and is guaranteed to turn heads.\n$143.20 at Amazon.com\nGrowlerWerks Stainless Steel Growler\n\n\nGive your man an oversized growler to help him keep his favorite beverages at their ideal temperature for longer. This stainless steel growler with double-wall, vacuum-insulated paneling keeps cold drinks cold for longer or hot drinks piping hot for longer, making it the perfect gift option for men who are on the go often.\n$49.50 at Amazon.com\nBraun Series 9 PRO+ Electric Shaver\n\nWant to give him a shaving experience fit for a king? The Brain Series 9 PRO+ uses five synchronized shaving elements to deliver the smoothest, closest shave you can get in the shortest amount of time. We love the one-touch operation, the made-in-Germany build quality that's evident every time you hold it in your hand, and the inclusion of handy accessories like a travel case and cleaning brush.\n$449.99 at Amazon.com\nHawthorne The Shower Starter Set\n\n\nIf you're shopping for someone whose shower routine consists of using a single, sad bar of soap or an all-in-one body wash and shampoo, give them the gift of a grooming upgrade. The Shower Starter Set from Hawthorne combines their exfoliating body soap, in extra-large format, with their All-Day Shampoo and All-Day Conditioner, scented with their most refreshing scents. This is the gift he doesn't even know he needs, but will nonetheless appreciate.\n$37 at Hawthorne.co\nPort Products Beard Oil\n\nMustache, goatee, or full-on beard, facial hair is at its finest when it’s well-conditioned. This oil's pleasant woodsy scent is just an added bonus.\n$31 at PortProducts.com\nGillette Heated Razor\n\n\nEvery guy needs to keep his beard in check, and this tool will help him do just that and more. While the heated sensation of the Gillette razor might take some getting used to, once he’s adapted he’ll wonder what he ever did without this bad boy.\n$149.99 at Amazon.com\nThe Sill Live Plants\n\nValentine with a green thumb? Help his hobby grow with a new plant. From the Island Pine Tree to the Parlor Palm, The Sill has a plant to fit his horticulture skill level and environment.\nFind out more at TheSill.com\n\nRELATED: Cheap Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\nBowflex SelectTech 840 Adjustable Kettlebell\n\nSure, this might not seem like the most romantic gift idea, but giving him something he will put to good use and enjoy is pretty romantic if you ask us. In addition, to having a comfortable grip for the hands, this adjustable kettlebell can go 8 to 40 lbs at the twist of a dial.\n$149 at Amazon.com\nMinted Map Print\n\nPersonal without being kitschy, this foil-pressed map will look great in his office or in your home. Options range from cities and states to countries, so you can opt for anything be it his home state, his favorite travel destination, or your current city.\nFind out more at Minted.com\nLululemon Zeroed-In Slim Fit Joggers\n\n\nIf your Valentine’s Day plans include cuddling up on the couch with a glass of wine in hand and Netflix on deck, help him dress for the occasion with these super-soft joggers from lululemon. With a slim fit and stretchy fabric, these are sure to be an upgrade from his tattered gym sweats.\n$118 at lululemon.com\nTheragun Mini Massage Gun\n\nEven if you’re not a great masseuse you can give him the gift of a massage with this handy gadget. The Thergaun Mini is small but powerful and uses rapid percussion to soothe and release tension in muscles big and small.\n$219.99 at Amazon.com\nFjällräven Travel Toiletry Bag\n\n\nEven when at home, a quality dopp kit is essential. If he's still opting for a floppy nylon number, or worse, a Ziploc bag, this durable model from Fjällräven will serve as a definite upgrade for grooming storage.\n$60 at Amazon.com\nChuao Chocolatier Mini Chocolate Bars\n\nSweets for your sweet. Chocolatier goes above and beyond the standard drugstore candy options with flavors like baconluxious and potato chip.\n$35.99 at Amazon.com\nRumpl Outdoor Blanket\n\nAll the cozy qualities of a sleeping bag but in a format that’s better for two, the Rumpl will upgrade your camping cuddle experience – even in 40°F temps. On top of its heat-locking design, this blanket is easily packable, water-resistant, and machine washable.From $99 at Rumpl.com\n\nRELATED: Last-Minute Valentine's Day Gifts for Him\n\nSan Francisco Salt Co. Black Truffle Sea Salt\n\n\n\nWhile you might typically be the one on the receiving end of bath salts, now, it’s his turn. No matter if he’s unwinding from a tough weight training session or a day at his desk, he can ease his pain and relax his muscles with this Epsom salt soak. It’s 100 percent natural and features a refreshing blend of eucalyptus and peppermint essential oils.\n$13.79 at Amazon.com\nMagnanni Carbon Leather Belt\n\n\nEvery man needs a high-quality black belt, whether that's for the office or for a formal dinner, and this elegant model from Magnanni ticks all the boxes. It's made from premium leather and stitched in Spain to the highest standards, so you can expect this to look great years from now.\n$160 at Nordstrom.com\nWhiskey Peaks Grand Canyon Glasses - Set of Two\n\nPerfect for the guy who loves a stiff drink, these innovative glasses will add a touch of spice to his nightcap routine. The set includes two hand-blown glasses with topographic impressions of the Grand Canyon.\n$25 at Huckberry.com\nCarhartt Knit Beanie\n\nSpotted on everyone from Nas to Rihanna, the classic Carhartt has seen a resurgence over the past few years — and for good reason. With an eight-gage knit designed for optimal warmth, this beanie is simple, yet functional, and the budget-friendly price doesn’t hurt either.\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\n\nRELATED: Unique Valentine's Day Gifts\n\nThe Cocktail Box Co. Old Fashioned Cocktail Kit\n\n\nIf your special man loves whipping out his mixology skills at-home, he'll make great use of this gift set.\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\nDriftaway Coffee Subscription\n\nFor a gift that keeps on giving, look to the coffee subscription. Driftaway Coffee has built up a loyal following thanks to its fresh roasts (coffee is shipped within six hours of roasting) and user-friendly process.\nFind out more at Driftaway.coffee\nAerangis Aging Spirits Candle\n\nRare is the guy who doesn’t appreciate the smell of a good whiskey. Give him just that with the stunningly scented Aging Spirits candle from Aerangis, which expertly conjures maple and bourbon and a rug by the hearth. Just make sure he doesn’t try to drink the thing.\nFrom $38 at Aerangis.com\nNest Weighted Blanket\n\nSleep quality is one of the biggest factors in how a person feels day to day, and sometimes all it takes to take your sleep up a notch is a weighted blanket. These genius inventions help people relax by mimicking the slight pressure of body contact — meaning he can feel cuddled even when you’re not there to cuddle him — and we think Nest’s sleek and stylish entry might be the best one of the bunch.\n$149 at NestBedding.com\nTeku 3.0 Beer Glasses, Set of 4\n\n\nBorn from a collaboration between an Italian brewer and a sensory analysis expert, the German-made Teku glasses from Rastal are for the true beer aficionado. Features include an angular bowl to build aroma, a slightly flared rim to accentuate your beverage as you sip, and a stem to keep your hands from warming the contents.\n$64.99 at Amazon.com\nPhilips SmartSleep\n\n\nGive him the gift of better sleep for V-Day with this Philips SmartSleep light. Not only does it simulate a sunset to help you fall asleep with ease, but it creates a sunrise in the a.m. to awaken the body naturally in the morning.\n$146.42 at Amazon.com\nGoldbelly Food\n\nEven if you can’t take him out for a special meal, you can still have some deliciousness delivered right to his door. Whether it’s desserts, pizza, or bagels, Goldbelly makes it easy to enjoy some of your favorite dishes from across the country right at home.\nPrices vary at Goldbelly.com\nTop 100 Movies Scratch Poster\n\n\nHome decor and date night activity all in one. This poster features 100 of the best movies of all time, curated from AFI & IMDb’s top 100 lists. You two can work your way through the poster and scratch off a square each time you’ve finished a flick.\n$21.99 at Amazon.com\nBevel Skin Essentials Bundle\n\nGive your guy a serious grooming upgrade with Bevel’s Skin Essentials Bundle. Featuring a face wash, an exfoliating toner and a moisturizing face gel, this set will have him looking and feeling fresh every day. He might not even believe how nice his face feels — reward him with kisses.\n$34.95 at GetBevel.com\nFellow Stagg EKG, Electric Pour-Over Kettle\n\nIf he’s been missing his usual cafe visits lately bring the experience and enjoyment of a great brew home with this Fellow Pour-Over Kettle. While the long spout is optimal for preparing pour-over coffee, the heating element and temperature toggle ensure water reaches just the right temp.\n$179.95 at Amazon.com\nBritBox Streaming\n\nShopping for the Anglophile? Look no further. This streaming service will allow him to enjoy all his favorite TV and movie content from across the pond on his regular devices – think Apple TV, Fire Stick, Chromecast, etc. From Mr. Bean to The Fall, it’s got it all.\nFind out more at Britbox.com\nIntimacy Deck by BestSelf\n\nIt can be hard to come up with romantic Valentine’s Day plans when you need to stay home, that’s where this card game comes in. Filled with a variety of cards, all geared to spark conversation, this deck will allow you to learn new things about one another and grow even closer.\n$27.99 at Amazon.com\nHeadSpace Meditation\n\nIf he’s been trying to get into meditation this year, give him a boost with a membership to HeadSpace. In addition to providing an ample selection of guided meditations, it offers workout routines to follow, as well.\nFind out more at HeadSpace.com\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tKinky Valentine's Day Gifts\n\tBudget Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\n\tHow to Enjoy Valentine's Day as a Single Guy", "keywords": "Best, Valentines, Day, Gift, Ideas, for, Him, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/mrtech/34_tech_gadgets/askmen-lead-image-2x1-5-1769780852.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/mrtech/34_tech_gadgets.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-02 02:30:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "151046", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Avoid Awkward Moments After Sex", "title_slug": "how-to-avoid-awkward-moments-after-sex", "title_hash": "dec5009c192c444e04d1ea5e0cce777b", "summary": "You had fun, she had fun, and now it's daytime and you're both naked. Here's your next move.", "content": "It's kind of crazy how the most awkward part of sex can be the moments (and morning) after. You've just joined your most intimate body part with a new or casual acquaintance, and somehow the silence after it's over feels more clumsy to stumble through than any of the (hopefully many) positions you both managed to get yourselves into.\nIf the post-sex part of sex feels awkward to navigate, you're not alone. Trying to figure out what to do next when the thing you both wanted to do the most is over can be tricky and potentially pretty awkward. If you're looking for a post-coital pep talk on how to make a smooth exit, you've come to the right place.\nRELATED: The AskMen Guide to Safer Sex\nHere's what a few real folks have to say about making the moments after sex less awkward and, dare we say, even enjoyable for you and whoever you're sharing them with.\nDon't Leave Immediately (But Don't Overstay, Either)\nHow long should you stay after sex with a casual acquaintance? While it really depends, most folks agree that instantly getting up, dressed and out the door as if the building is on fire is not a good look. \"Give it a beat before you start gathering yourself up to leave — even if it's just a hook up,\" says Claire, 23. She recommends giving some kind of indication that you just enjoyed what happened — \"a 'that was fun' goes a long way,\" she adds.\nIf they seem into cuddling go for it, then ask what they have going on the next day, which Claire says can help you determine how long they want you to stay for. \"If they go on about how jam packed their day is, it's probably best you head out,\" she says. If the action is happening at your place, you can choose to invite them to stay over (if that's what you want), or employ the same tactic of letting them know what your morning looks like the next day.\nIf you're looking for bonus points and are hoping to see them again (or just want to be a gentleman) offering to order them an Uber home will go a long way.\nMake Light Conversation\nIf you're someone who just can't resist filling awkward silences with, well, anything except silence, having some light conversation starters in mind can be helpful. \"I love when someone compliments my space or asks questions about any of the art I have,\" says Raven, 26. Asking questions about what they may have going on that weekend or how long they've lived where they're at can help build some rapport so that your eventual exit doesn't feel super awkward or abrupt. \"One time I had a guy smile at me and say, 'Usually this is the awkward part, but I feel like we're doing okay,' and it was so genuine that it also put me at ease,\" says Kate, 33.\nResist the Urge to Grab Your Phone\nHaving your phone in hand might make you feel less awkward in the moment, but you're creating an awkward and potentially insulting environment for the person you just had sex with. \"Nothing pisses me off more than hooking up with someone who has to immediately get back on their phone the minute we finish,\" says Sam, 27. Lean on the conversation starters above and genuinely try to give it a beat or two before you reach for your phone. The person lying next to you will appreciate it.\nTune In to the Morning After Energy\nEven a no-strings attached situation deserves some basic decency. Offer your guest some water or coffee in the morning if they're at your place. If you're at theirs, pay attention to any cues they're giving about how long they may want you there. Alternatively, it's fine to be direct when you have to go; just thank them for the hospitality and remind them that you have commitments you need to get to that morning. \"I always appreciate it when someone is direct about how long they want to stay or want me to stay,\" says Kayla, 30. \"If the person starts talking about what plans they have that morning, that's usually an obvious cue to get going.\"\nBe Clear About Your Future Intentions\nA big part of the post-sex awkwardness can stem from one or both parties wondering \"what this is.\" Making your intentions clear after sex clears up the ambiguity. Justine, 32, says there are plenty of tactful ways to make your future intentions known. \"If you're interested in seeing them again, a simple — 'that was fun, I'd be down to do it again sometime' is a no-pressure way to leave the door open,\" she says. \"If this was a one-and-done thing, a 'nice meeting you' or 'glad we crossed paths' feels polite and gets the message across that we won't be doing this again.\"\nRELATED: What Is Future Faking?\nAvoiding awkward moments after sex is really about reading the room and being respectful. Treat the person you just hooked up with the way you'd want to be treated, keep things light and pay attention to cues that signal you should get going in order not to overstay your welcome. Do all of the above, and those awkward after sex moments will feel like no sweat.\nYou Might Also Dig: \nHow to Turn Her OnWhat Is Kink-Shaming?The 6 Worst Things to Say After Sex", "keywords": "How, Avoid, Awkward, Moments, After, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/558_how-to-avoid-awkward-moments-after-sex/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1769629608.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/558_how-to-avoid-awkward-moments-after-sex.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-02 02:30:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "150731", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Dated Five Different Men Simultaneously While in a Serious Relationship", "title_slug": "i-dated-five-different-men-simultaneously-while-in-a-serious-relationship", "title_hash": "7f38a91d0380f28eb820949f97e65c37", "summary": "When I think back to my childhood, it feels like I am looking at the life of another person. A time that should have been filled with safety, laughter, and …", "content": "

When I think back to my childhood, it feels like I am looking at the life of another person. A time that should have been filled with safety, laughter, and innocence was quietly taken from me. Back then, I did not have the language to explain what was happening, and I did not even know that something was wrong. My cousin, someone I trusted, crossed boundaries that should never be crossed. His hands went where they had no right to go. He disguised it as play, as something harmless, and I believed him. I kept it a secret, buried under layers of confusion and shame, because I did not understand it myself. It was only much later, as an adult, that I realized I had been sexually abused. By then, the damage had already been done.

As I grew older, I carried this weight with me, though I didn’t understand its full impact until much later. The first man I truly dated was Martin, whom I met when I was in University. He was kind, loving, and everything I could have asked for, but there was a part of me that was still lost. I was promiscuous, unable to be faithful even when I had a good man by my side. Despite all the love and care Martin showed me, I cheated on him. It happened often, sometimes with five different men at once. I kept lying, convincing myself it was normal, that I didn’t deserve better. We stayed together for three years until one day, my secret was finally exposed. He found the messages, the texts, the truth. He left, and it hit me hard.

Then, there was Dave. He was the first man I truly thought I had fallen in love with. He was older, much older, ten years, to be exact. He had everything: money, cars, a beautiful home in Accra. When I moved to the city for my national service, he gave me a place to stay and took care of me. We had a strange relationship. He wasn’t the kind of guy who called every day or kept in constant touch. Instead, he’d send a message when he wanted to see me. We’d hang out, have fun, and then go our separate ways for weeks, sometimes months, without any communication. But still, I called him my boyfriend. It was painful, though. I wanted more from him, more attention, more affection, but the relationship just wasn’t that way. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. After a couple of years, I walked away, realizing that even though I loved him, it wasn’t enough for me to stay in a relationship that left me feeling so empty.

After Dave, I found myself once again looking for love in all the wrong places. I met Kwesi, the man who would bring me back into a pattern I couldn’t break. With him, I was unfaithful again, and this time, it wasn’t just a few encounters. I had multiple relationships behind his back, all while calling him my boyfriend. The lies piled up, and for four years, I kept deceiving him. But in January, the truth came crashing down when Kwesi found all the messages, texts, and evidence on my phone. He left, and this time, he wasn’t coming back. He hated me, and the weight of what I had done hit me harder than ever before.

Now, as I sit here reflecting on everything, I realize just how deep the roots of my pain go. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I don’t want to be a cheater, a liar, or someone trapped in unhealthy relationships. I see now that my past, what I experienced as a child, has shaped the way I behave in relationships. And I need help to change. But the truth is, I don’t have the resources to pay for therapy, and that’s why I’m reaching out.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I want to be a better person. I want to heal from the trauma that’s haunted me for years. I want to stop the cycle of promiscuity and find real, meaningful connections. If there’s anyone out there who can help me, I’m ready to take the first step toward change.

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He was my dream husband, until I moved into his parents’ house

When I brought him to meet my father, I was scared of what would happen. My father rarely likes the men I bring home, not even my male friends. So when I introduced them and my father actually took a liking to him, I knew he had to be the one. The man for me.

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When I met my husband, he was everything I ever wanted. Fine, smart. We could not keep our hands off each other, which led to our first pregnancy, even before we got married. But we knew we were going to marry anyway, so we kept it. I had my first child before the wedding.

We moved to his parents’ house during the later stage of my pregnancy because my parents had to travel far to my hometown for my grandmother’s funeral. I couldn’t go. I was heavily pregnant, always tired, sweaty, and uncomfortable. That first pregnancy journey was difficult for me, but it seemed worth it at the beginning. The joy, after all, comes when you finally see the baby. The initial plan was for a natural birth, but in the end they had to perform an emergency C-section. The complications from that birth were so severe that I couldn’t return to my job. My position was taken by someone else. Since then, I have been managing my sister’s shop for her.

We got married, and we had another child.

Now, years later, we are still in his parents’ house. My husband refused to move out after the marriage, saying he is saving to build a house. We have two kids together. The elder one is in school, but my husband doesn’t pay his fees, or for food, or for the little things required at school. It’s all on me, including feeding them at home, and I am slowly collapsing my sister’s shop trying to keep up.

Living in his parents’ house was not what I bargained for. When we moved in during that first pregnancy, it was supposed to be temporary. That was our unspoken agreement. I thought men loved their privacy, a place where they could enjoy their wives, come home to their own family.

There is always someone watching me. When I cook for the family, someone says, “Hmm, the salt is too much.” When I train my children, I hear, “That is not the way to bathe a toddler. You’re doing too much.” How I do everything is questioned. “Why did you leave the broom there?” There are always people in my face.

If you are a private person, maybe you will see things from my point of view. It is an awful feeling, knowing there is a shadow hovering over you.

He is capable, but he is reluctant. Maybe I didn’t see it before, but deep down he might have always been a mama’s boy.

But here is what I know. My husband owns a car that he could use for work, but he has given it out. When he gets money from sales, that is when he uses it to fund his partying lifestyle. He uses it to go out. But when I complain or try to take action, my mother-in-law will have my head. She says I am weak. She calls me a witch, a bringer of bad luck who just brought problems after childbirth.

And ever since I lost my Dad, they have made it a point to make things hard for me. Things have only gotten worse.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I can’t go to my mom’s because my elder brother has been sick since last year, and his wife came and left him with my mom, saying she is tired. There is no room for me there.

—Mansah

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My mom died when she was sixty-two years old. She died a few days before their thirty-seventh wedding anniversary. My dad didn’t cry, but he lost his voice. He said a few words and nodded to the rest. It got worse when my mom was buried. We were all scared that my dad wouldn’t live long after losing someone like my mom, his only true companion.

At seventy-eight, ten clear years after my mom died, Dad got sick and was immobile. He was in a wheelchair and needed someone with him all the time. We hired someone to take care of him, but I was always with him. When he was alone, he would be whispering to himself, saying things you would only hear if you gave him your ears.

He called my mom’s name every minute and talked to her as if she was sitting close to him. He would ask, “Where’s my food?” A few minutes later, he would say something like, “You didn’t put salt in the soup?” I looked at him and said to myself, “Awww, he’s missed his wife.”

In his mind, he was still living with his wife and talked to her every day. Doctors said I shouldn’t worry; it was normal. He was living through memories, and that was fine.

Some days, he would laugh out loud and say, “Oh, that was too funny. I wonder why Agya Adu allowed you to do that.” Agya Adu was my mom’s dad.

One evening, he started shouting and trying to get on his feet and walk. He got up and fell, but he kept shouting, “You better run, because if I get you, you won’t laugh again in your life.”

He hardly recognized my presence or called me by name, but that day he said, “Abena, you better talk to your mom. If not, all of you will pack your things and leave my house.”

I sat next to him and pretended I was advising my mom. “Don’t do that, Mom. If Dad sacks us, where will we go?” He retorted, “Tell her. Without me, she has nobody.”

A few minutes later, he calmed down and dozed off. He died the next day. I woke up and saw him relaxed, with almost a smile on his face. You might think he was dreaming, but he had been dead for hours.

My mom was an orphan when my dad brought her in to have a place to live. They had my elder brother before they got married. All my life, I never saw them fighting or even exchanging harsh words. Mom always had a smile on, and Dad always was a dad.

The first fight I witnessed was the one he had with her before he died the next day. If indeed he was living off his memories, then that fight indeed happened, but where were we that we didn’t see it?

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

It taught me only one lesson: that no marriage is without fights and misunderstandings, but it’s how you handle them that counts. Because of my dad and mom, I know what love is, and I understand how marriage ought to be lived. I might not end up with a man like my dad, and I might not be like my mom in marriage, but the understanding I have about marriage and the side of marriage I witnessed with my own eyes give me a solid foundation to stand on, and this will help with the choices I make when the time comes.

why do men refuse help even when they’re breaking?

—Abena

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My husband went through my phone and found what he had been looking for. It was a chat between me and my ex, the one I left to marry my husband. Before we go into what he saw in the chat, let me give a little background of our marriage.

Our marriage hasn’t been a happy one. Everything he promised seven years ago, he has broken. We have two kids, six and four years old. Since these kids came into the family, my husband hasn’t lifted a finger to help raise them. I would be cooking and carrying them at my back while my husband watches TV. When they cry, he pushes them to come to me. When they are sick, it’s on me; even homework, he doesn’t help.

We’ve had several conversations about these things, but each one turned into a fight. I’ve been tired and broken, but he doesn’t care. He’s always having fun, creating the life he wants while I do everything around here.

That aside, he’s very stingy with money. He chooses what to pay and what not to pay. He could pay school fees today and tomorrow tell me, “I can’t give housekeeping money because I paid fees.” When the kids are sick or we have to buy drugs, he would tell me, “I didn’t plan for this, so take care of it. I will pay later.” He would never pay.

We’ve fought about these things too. He doesn’t understand what communication means. When you talk to him about issues, he takes offense and starts a fight, so every conversation we’ve had since we got married turns into a fight. I stopped talking.

I’m not the kind of woman who will go about talking to people about my marriage. I prefer we resolve things ourselves. If we are not able to, we just move on and hope for a better day.

When it comes to the bedroom, romance is dead. He could go for weeks without intimacy. When I want it and approach him, he would shove me off using all the excuses in the world. When he wants it, he jumps on me without any foreplay and starts taking it. I end up very sore, to a point I had to fight about this. After a fight one day, he told me, “If you don’t want it, fine. I won’t come to you again.”

I told him, “It’s not a matter of whether I want it or not. It’s the way you do it. How can you start digging when I’m asleep? Can’t you wake me up and prepare my mind for it?” He responded, “What were you expecting when you decided to get married?”

As I write this, it’s been over two months since he got close to me. Each time I’ve tried, he shoves me off, saying he’s not in the mood.

I don’t talk to my ex. I hadn’t spoken to him for over five years before he contacted me out of the blue. The conversation was casual, but it got to a point where I realized he was bringing up old memories. He asked me about marriage, and I told him the truth. “Marriage has not been good. I’m mostly unhappy, but what can I do?”

He asked me about the kids, and he said, “If you didn’t leave me, they would have been my kids, and we would’ve been in a happier place than you are.” I responded, “God knows best, so you can’t blame me for what happened.”

Honestly, when he brought up conversation about sex, I fell deeply into the discussion, telling him how we used to do it and what he did that made me happy. I hadn’t been intimate for so long that the conversation felt like a hole through the intimacy I craved. He also said what he missed about me and told me he wished we could go back to those times and begin again. I responded, “Wishes are not horses, so let’s keep things the way they are.”

After that long chat, he threw me into a state of confusion. Honestly, I thought of looking for him. I thought of having a night with him so I could remember how happiness feels. I slept very well that night because of that conversation. A day or two later, he said hello again. I didn’t respond. I realized if I didn’t take care, he could cause me to sin, so I blocked him that day.

After the block, I should have deleted the messages, but guess what? I loved what we talked about so much, I went back to read them at night so I could be in a calm mood and sleep well. I fantasized about it and dreamed about how we used to be when we were together. Those messages kept me company better than the man I called a husband. Maybe it was the reason I didn’t delete them until my husband picked up the phone and read the messages.

He was very angry when he asked me why I was talking to my ex about my marriage. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel anything. No anger, no remorse. Nothing at all. I was indifferent when he was fuming and calling me a slut. He screamed, “So you’ve started sleeping with him again, right? No wonder you’re not bothered whether we do it or not.”

I asked, “Where in the messages did you see what you’re talking about?” He answered, “How will I know what happened after you had this conversation?” I told him, “He has been blocked, and you saw it, right? You can unblock him and ask what happened. I told him about my marriage because he was ready to listen to me. Did I say anything you don’t already know?”

He screamed, “You missed doing it with him. It’s clear in the messages. He offered it, and I’m sure you took it and later got disappointed; that’s why you blocked him. I have to do a DNA test on my kids. You’re not a woman to be trusted.” I told him, “When do you want us to go and do the test? I know you won’t carry them, but I will, so we go together.”

Again, we had a long fight where he accused me of worse things and called me a whore. I understood his anger; I would have been angry too. I kept quiet along the line and watched him rant and rant until he kept quiet. I was expecting him to call my parents to tell them or call my elder brother, his favorite person to complain to, and tell him what had happened. For days now, he’s been quiet, going about his life as if nothing has happened.

We are back to who we used to be, unhappy and dry, but he’s still here. He eats what I cook, he sleeps next to me, he watches TV while I cook with the children in the kitchen. He still directs them to me when they cry or need something. He goes out and comes when he likes. He’s still that same husband who makes our marriage unhappy.

It makes me wonder if he’s secretly planning a divorce or planning to hurt me back in a way I can’t imagine. Or maybe he’s decided the marriage is already dead, so there’s no need to mourn again.

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’m not scared of losing him. I don’t even have him to lose, but the fact that he’s not doing anything about what he saw makes me confused. Or has he accepted my explanation as the truth and let things go? I don’t know, but what I know is this: this marriage only exists on paper, and one day, even if he doesn’t leave, I have to leave before he causes me to sin.

—Cindy

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******

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I’m very hairy, so the hair I cut grows back very fast, and it itches while it grows. I have hair on my legs and on my hands. I have a few between my boobs. I used to be very insecure about them until I grew to accept them for what they are. I couldn’t control them. I couldn’t make them disappear. I couldn’t order them not to grow, so I lived peacefully with it until Nat came along.

He met me hairy and still thought I was his choice of woman, so he proposed to me. I’m not the kind to play hard to get, so I said yes. It was a long-distance relationship at first because he was working out of town. For three months, we only met twice, and that was the initial stage of the relationship, so we built instead of outpacing ourselves.

Then he came home after the contract, and we started meeting often. Finally, he found me in his bed, and we were ready to let ourselves go. Immediately he saw the hair down there, he stopped and asked, “Is it always like this, or do you get to cut it off at some point?”

He stopped midway, looked down there, and looked into my eyes, asking this question. I answered, “Ah, but is this question necessary at this point?” He answered, “I’m asking because I don’t see any flesh. It’s all covered, and I don’t eat what I don’t see.”

He got up, went through his drawer, picked up a shaving stick, and threw it at me. “Go and shave that forest off before a snake in there bites me.”

I quickly got up and started dressing up. I said, “Fine. I don’t even want to do it again.” I thought he would stop me. While I dressed up, he stood there watching me. He watched me dress up without a fight, and when I said I was leaving, he told me, “Or you don’t want to shave here? No problem, do it before you come next time.”

When I left, I knew I was not entering his room again. Even if he didn’t want it bushy, he could have been discreet about it, but this guy went ahead and embarrassed me as if all I had was hair and no beauty or anything that makes up a good girlfriend.

I’ve had no desire to try again with him, but he keeps talking about it. Just yesterday, he told me I should shave the hair on my legs because that’s what women do to keep smooth and mirror-like skin. “Even me, a man,” he said, “I don’t have this much hair.” I asked him, “Did you come into my life to love me, or did you come to hate my hair? Love me, love my hair.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

He insists that if I also love him, I would listen to him and do the little things he asks me to do. Do you think this relationship is going somewhere? I’ve fought my own hair and lost; what makes him think he can win over my hair?

—Gold

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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Changes to the childhood vaccination schedule are sowing confusion nationwide.

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New vaccine recommendations issued in recent months by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) under the leadership of Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.—who is notoriously anti-vaccine—suggest fewer shots for most kids. The updated guidelines also changed when some vaccines should be given.

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Many of these policies are not based on science, and major medical organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics have urged parents and doctors to continue vaccinating their children per previous guidance, in an unusual break with the CDC.

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But one change is actually based on valid research: The suggestion that people may only need one shot of the HPV vaccine.

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I am an ardent supporter of vaccines (thank you science for protecting us from diseases that killed our ancestors) and a sex educator who has been writing about the HPV vaccine for decades. But I know that many parents—like the one I recently sat next to in the pediatrician’s waiting room who said she wasn’t antivax, but was skipping that shot—just don’t know enough about HPV to make an informed decision.

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This column answers some common questions you may have about the HPV vaccine, whether you’re a parent considering the shot for your kids or an adult wondering if it’s too late to get it yourself.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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What is HPV?

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There are more than 200 types of HPV, or human papillomavirus. The virus is easily transmitted from skin-to-skin. Some types cause the warts you might get on your hands or feet.

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Other types of HPV are known to infect the sensitive, wetter skin—or mucosal membranes—found in our genitals, anus, and throat. These roughly 40 kinds of HPV are sexually transmitted. HPV is so contagious that most sexually active people will get it at some point in their lives.

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Is HPV dangerous?

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Usually, no. In most cases, our immune systems clear the virus without us ever knowing we had it.

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But some people get persistent infections that the body can’t vanquish. There are 12 “high risk” types of the virus. Persistent infections with these types can lead to cancer of the cervix, vulva, vagina, penis, anus, or throat.

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What is the HPV vaccine?

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The HPV vaccine was first introduced in 2006. The version available in the United States today, Gardasil 9, protects against nine high-risk types of the virus, including the two that cause most cases of genital warts and the two that cause most cases of cervical cancer.

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Twenty years of research shows that Gardasil works to prevent not only HPV infection but also cervical cell changes that can cause cancer. Scientists believe that widespread vaccination could prevent 90 percent of HPV-related cancers.

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Who should get the HPV vaccine?

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Almost everyone.

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Major medical organizations and health centers like the Cleveland Clinic recommend that all young people—regardless of sex or gender—get the HPV shot at age 11 or 12, though they can get it as young as 9. The goal is to vaccinate everyone before they become sexually active.

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The vaccine is recommended for anyone 26 or younger who didn’t get vaccinated as a tween, and approved up to age 45. Unvaccinated people between 27 and 45 should ask their health-care provider about it.

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How many HPV shots do I need?

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When Gardasil was first introduced, everyone was advised to get three shots a few months apart. Then research suggested two doses were probably enough, especially for young teens.

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In its new recommendations, the CDC suggests everyone should now just get one shot. This change is based on December 2025 research from the National Institutes of Health that found one shot provides as much protection as two.

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Some doctors remain skeptical of these new federal guidelines, given that they were released alongside other big changes to vaccine recommendations based on faulty science. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Cancer Society, for example, still recommend more shots. As always, ask your health provider what is best for you.

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If I got vaccinated for HPV, do I still need to get screened for cervical cancer?

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Yep. Everyone who has a cervix needs to get screened every three to five years either starting at 21 or 25 (guidelines vary).

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Depending on your age and medical history, your screening might involve either a Pap test or an HPV test. Both tests use a brush or tiny spatula to collect cells from on or near the cervix. The HPV test looks for high-risk types of the virus. The Pap test looks for precancerous changes to cervical cells called “dysplasia,” which can be treated before they become cancer.

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These tests are usually done by a health-care provider, but the FDA recently approved HPV test kits that let you collect your own sample. The samples are then sent to a lab for analysis. If that test comes back positive, you need to follow up with a provider.

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I’m not your mom, but if I were…

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When my daughters got their HPV shots, I posted pictures of each of them online despite the fact that they were dressed only in paper gowns.

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They weren’t on social media yet—both got their shots at the CDC-recommended age of 11—so I could get away with it, and I was just that excited. I know how easily HPV spreads. I know it causes cancer. A vaccine that can prevent my kids from getting cancer felt like something to celebrate.

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I realize not all parents feel that way. Some may have bought into the growing anti-vax movement that uses junk science to paint all vaccines as more dangerous than helpful. Others may believe the misconception that vaccinating young people against a sexually transmitted infection will encourage them to have more sex. (Spoiler alert: Tons of research shows this doesn’t happen.)

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From its launch, the HPV vaccine has been caught in a perfect storm of anti-vaccine and anti-sex politics. In 2011, Republican presidential candidates even traded jabs about it during a debate.

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By the time my oldest got the vaccine in 2017, health-care providers and sex educators like me had learned some important lessons about HPV messaging for parents: Talk more about cancer and less about sex.

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My pediatrician, for example, simply told me that my kid was eligible for the “cervical cancer shot.” Obviously, he didn’t need to convince me. But I’m hoping the C-word is enough to persuade other parents that their kids need the HPV shot—and maybe you do, too.

\n\n\n

The post The HPV Vaccine, Explained appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, HPV, Vaccine, Explained", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/hpv-biopsy-web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/30/hpv-vaccine-explained/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-02-01 12:30:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149778", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How ‘Bridgerton’ and Other Romances Have Evolved in Their Depictions of Consent", "title_slug": "how-bridgerton-and-other-romances-have-evolved-in-their-depictions-of-consent", "title_hash": "b4301b6d00cd6317544dfba879cf2655", "summary": "Will they get it right in Season 4? \nThe post How ‘Bridgerton’ and Other Romances Have Evolved in Their Depictions of Consent appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

As Bridgerton lovers prepare to jump back into another Regency England romance on Jan. 29, viewers will be thrust into a world of lavish parties, beautiful gowns, and Lady Whistledown’s gossip. While Benedict Bridgerton and Sophie Baek’s story unfolds on the screen, there could also be expanding questions about how the show handles consent.

Based on Julia Quinn’s popular historical romance novels, every season of the Netflix adaptation follows the love story of one of the eight Bridgerton siblings. Each of the first three seasons raked in more than 90 million views during their first 91 days on the streaming platform.

But while the love stories have captivated viewers, the show’s portrayals of consent—which the National Sexual Violence Resource Center defines as meaning “everyone involved has agreed to what they are doing and has given their permission”—have varied.

Season 1, in particular, drew controversy for a marital rape scene in which the protagonist, Daphne Bridgerton, forces her husband to ejaculate inside her after he repeatedly made it clear during other sexual encounters that he didn’t want to. Bridgerton fans criticized showrunners for including the scene from the original book when it premiered in 2020.

In the years since, the show has evolved in its portrayals of consent. Season 3 is perhaps the season with the best depiction of consent, with Colin Bridgerton asking Penelope Featherington for consent during different sexual encounters.

But there’s still room for improvement when it comes to informed consent—meaning that there’s open communication about boundaries before, during, and after the activities being engaged in, and what may result from their actions. Season 4 is an opportunity for Bridgerton, a show which mixes the historical and the modern, to improve how it depicts consent for a contemporary audience.

Evolution of consent in modern romance novels

While the Bridgerton series has reached new heights for book-based adaptations, the romance genre’s popularity is nothing new.

The concept of the romance novel as we know it today dates back to the romantic fiction of the 18th and 19th centuries, according to the New York Public Library. While the early days of romance novels mostly explored the stories of heterosexual, white women, the genre has slowly evolved to become more inclusive. New subgenres—like new adult romance and romance-fantasy (better known as romantasy)—have also emerged. Tropes such as friends to lovers, forced proximity, and fake dating have established certain frameworks that give structure to the stories.

Consent appears to be increasingly important to romance-enjoyers. As recently as this winter, the Heated Rivalry TV series—based on Rachel Reid’s best-selling Game Changers novel series—was praised for its portrayal of affirmative consent.

And the books we read, fictional or otherwise, can shape our real lives. Aashna Avachat, a literary agent and young adult romance author, said in an interview with Rewire News Group that growing up, her expectations of what romance would be like were based, in part, on the books she was reading.

“I remember when I was growing up, the romance books that I was reading, whether for teenagers or for adults, rarely had explicit consent,” Avachat said. “It always seemed to be sort of implied. And that was, I think, considered quite romantic.”

But as she began her writing and agent career, she noticed a shift: Books, especially in the young adult novel space, included more direct consent.

“[I] started noticing even for first kiss scenes, characters would ask, ‘Can I kiss you? Do you want me to kiss you?’” Avachat added. “And I think that that started to feel like sort of an important shift, and I think a positive shift, where we were seeing consent as a romantic gesture.”

The concept of consent has changed over time in American society, as has how it’s explored in literature. Given that romance novels are published at distinct times when the definitions of consent have varied, discussions about consent can be complicated.

In addition to romantasy and new adult romances, contemporary romance (taking place after World War II), historical romance (taking place before World War II), and romantic suspense (mixing mystery, thriller, and romance elements) are popular romance subgenres. Dark romance is growing in popularity and has faced criticism over what some readers consider to be romanticized portrayals of abuse and lack of consent.

According to Options Domestic & Sexual Violence Services, the subgenre can become harmful when it reinforces harmful myths about assault, blurs the lines of consent, and may not have proper context that can be important for younger readers. (It’s worth noting that not all readers and critics see dark romance as negative: It can help some people process their emotions and raise awareness about harmful behaviors.)

Historical context

Dr. Jayashree Kamblé, an English professor at LaGuardia Community College in New York City who teaches about romance narratives in fiction, popular culture, and literature, explained that “readers grow up under the politics of their times,” and that the time period in which readers come to romance novels can impact the lens through which they read them.

“Commercial romance novels have a 100-plus year history, and ones where sexual violence was more common, as were scenes of dubious consent or manufactured consent, can be most often found in examples from the 1970s,” Kamblé said. “By the 1980s, both readers and editors were asking writers to change that.”

She added that when examining texts through a cultural studies lens, especially those written in the past, it’s necessary to look at them from two time periods: when the text was written, and the current moment.

“You always have to be wearing both hats … because otherwise, everything else will fail based on your current yardstick,” she said.

“I don’t think we let anybody off the hook,” Kamblé added. “But we also don’t necessarily say, ‘Oh my God, can you believe that they were doing this and thought it was acceptable?’”

Kathleen E. Woodiwiss’ 1972 book The Flame and the Flower is often cited as a prominent example of the historical, “bodice ripper” style of romance novels, that tend to include sexual violence or questionable portrayals of consent. This particular book was a bestseller at the time, and the New York Times reported that it helped to grow historical romances in paperback form.

Since then, however, the story has been criticized because of the relationship between the main characters, Heather Simmons and Brandon Birmingham. During the unfolding of the story, he rapes her, resulting in a pregnancy. And they are forced to marry before eventually living happily ever after.

Older romance novels often depicted “rapist heroes.” As Salon reported, “In early 1970s romance novels ‘no’ sometimes meant ‘yes’ and a rapist could figure as a hero.”

Kamblé explained that the current cultural conversation around consent is fairly new and shaped by different factors, including feminist movements, the increasing awareness about bodily autonomy, and “the practice of sexual activity as having different stages.”

Different decades saw different phenomena: In the late 1960s and 1970s, during the women’s liberation movement, romance readers understood women’s rights—including the right to sexual sovereignty—far differently than the Baby Boomers, who linked sex and consent to marital responsibilities, Kamblé explained. And 1990s-era romance readers viewed consent through “the larger ideology of consumer-culture feminism, which equated initiating sex as a marker of one’s independence and with an implicit idea that such initiation made consent plain,” Kamblé said.

“The notion of consent itself is something that has evolved out of that new way of thinking about sexual engagement and one’s body,” she added. “We’ve also, especially in the United States, had changing laws about when and if you get to say no.”

What constitutes consent and marital rape, for example, is a concept that’s ever changing in the U.S. But, as the National Domestic Violence Hotline reports, the “perception of women seen as objects of property by common law, unable to handle their own legal affairs, continues to influence the perception of men, police officers, prosecutors, and judges.”

They report that it was only in July of 1993 that marital rape was considered a crime in all of the U.S. states, although how that is defined and its associated consequences differ from state to state.

The future of the romance genre

Figures suggest that the audience for romance novels will continue to shape dialogue, as readers continue to influence demand. The Guardian reported that “annual print sales of romance novels more than doubled” from $18 million in 2020 to $36 million in 2023.

The number of bookstores dedicated to selling romance novels has increased internationally, including the U.S., Canada, and Australia. The Romancing the Data database estimates that there are now 218 brick-and-mortar romance bookstores all over the world. More than a dozen have opened internationally in the last few years alone, including Books Ever After in Australia, Saucy Books in the United Kingdom, Dear Reader in Germany, and Perfect Match in Canada.

There is no one way to be a romance reader, Dr. Kamblé stated, meaning that what romance readers take away from a book—like if their ideas about consent are reinforced or challenged—is different for each person. A reader comes to a text with particular lived experiences, which are influenced by their culture and family, to name a few factors.

On the agenting side, Avachat mentioned that healthy depictions of consent are on her mind when she works editorially on her clients’ books. She believes in the positive possibilities of romance novels.

“I hope that consent continues to be explored more directly, in romance novels,” Avachat said. “But I do think that the industry sort of ebbs and flows with the type of content that it’s interested in. So I’m not quite sure what’s ahead.”

The post How ‘Bridgerton’ and Other Romances Have Evolved in Their Depictions of Consent appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "How, ‘Bridgerton’, and, Other, Romances, Have, Evolved, Their, Depictions, Consent", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Love-on-the-Brain-Romance-Novels-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/28/bridgerton-season-4-consent-romance/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 02:25:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149777", "lang_id": "1", "title": "In Mercy’s Shadow: The Mercy Narrative in True Crime (Podcast)", "title_slug": "in-mercys-shadow-the-mercy-narrative-in-true-crime-podcast", "title_hash": "f133f8aeb34b76b44c40b86cfee072e6", "summary": "Vilissa Thompson on erasure, ableism, and the stories true crime refuses to tell.\nThe post In Mercy’s Shadow: The Mercy Narrative in True Crime (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

True crime is everywhere—but crimes against disabled people are rarely treated as “true crime” at all. Imani Gandy talks with disability justice advocate Vilissa Thompson about why disabled victims are erased from true crime, how ableism shapes which stories get told, and what ethical storytelling requires when disability is involved.

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Episodes like this take time, research, and a commitment to the truth. If you love B*tch, Listen, chip in to keep help Imani keep her podcast going. Become a supporter today.

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The post In Mercy’s Shadow: The Mercy Narrative in True Crime (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", Mercy’s, Shadow:, The, Mercy, Narrative, True, Crime, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/B_L-Podcast-Web-Thumb-04.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/29/in-mercys-shadow-the-mercy-narrative-in-true-crime-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 02:25:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149389", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Navigating Perimenopause Together – How to Strengthen Your Relationship in Midlife", "title_slug": "navigating-perimenopause-together-how-to-strengthen-your-relationship-in-midlife", "title_hash": "ac0e259fa3d1447959052855a22404a9", "summary": "Learn how perimenopause can be an opportunity for couples to support one another’s health and improve the relationship.\nThe post Navigating Perimenopause Together – How to Strengthen Your Relationship in Midlife appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn how perimenopause can be an opportunity for couples to support one another’s health and improve the relationship.

The post Navigating Perimenopause Together – How to Strengthen Your Relationship in Midlife appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Navigating, Perimenopause, Together, –, How, Strengthen, Your, Relationship, Midlife", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/GettyImages-2196239512.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/navigating-perimenopause-together-how-to-strengthen-your-relationship-in-midlife/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 02:04:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149272", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Do When Girls Ignore Your Approach", "title_slug": "what-to-do-when-girls-ignore-your-approach", "title_hash": "b784f25bd7df8cf7b09de4e72a478904", "summary": "Getting rejected is one thing. But what do you do when you approach a girl and she straight-up ignores you? First off: DON’T do what women or red pill men say.\nI originally had this titled “what do you do if you can’t break into a set?” but I figured the seduction term ‘set’ (denoting a single girl or group you approach) was too vague for the uninitiated.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"when$ Getting rejected is one thing. But what do you do when you approach a girl and she straight-up ignores you? First off: DON’T do what women or red pill men say.

I originally had this titled “what do you do if you can’t break into a set?” but I figured the seduction term ‘set’ (denoting a single girl or group you approach) was too vague for the uninitiated.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "What, When, Girls, Ignore, Your, Approach", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/girl-ignores-your-approach-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/what-do-when-girls-ignore-your-approach", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 01:57:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149271", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fitness Awards 2026: Best Workout Clothing", "title_slug": "fitness-awards-2026-best-workout-clothing", "title_hash": "2bf5ea83ddff53cd4fb53bb8ac57742e", "summary": "The Best Apparel, Shoes, Gears and Accessories to Elevate Your Training in the New Year", "content": "Our annual AskMen Fitness Awards are back for 2026, and we’ve spent months testing and comparing the best home gym equipment, fitness tech, supplements and gear to separate the best from the rest and declare our winners. \nIn our most competitive categories, more than a dozen products vied for the top spot, while our panel of judges, encompassing current and former college athletes, weekend warriors and personal trainers, worked overtime to generate feedback and vote on winners.\nBefore we get to business, we’d like to thank not only our hard-working judges for their efforts but also all of the brand reps who battled bad weather, delays and postal worker strikes to ensure our judges got their hands-on testing experience.\nFinally, here are our favorite products of 2026 in the category of Best Workout Clothing:\n\nBest Workout Clothing\n\nBest Workout Shirt\nOn Train-T\n\nA classic silhouette built with modern technology, the Train-T from On is a fantastic training shirt for all varieties of workouts. Flatlock stitching throughout the shirt and a ribbed neckline eliminates chafing, while the angled shoulder seam unlocks more mobility in overhead movements like presses and pull-ups. The blended fabric also does a great job wicking away moisture and promoting airflow, so even heavy sweaters can wear this shirt with confidence. \n$80 at On.com \nBest Workout Hoodie\nFabletics The Cloud Jersey Hoodie\n\nThe ultra-lightweight and aptly-named The Cloud Jersey Hoodie from Fabletics was our consensus choice for best workout hoodie. It offers the coverage of a hoodie with the feel of a shirt, never impeding movements or trapping heat, and looking good both in and out of the gym. The fabric is both breathable and anti-static, so you won’t have to dread the switch from the ab mats to the elliptical ever again, and it dries amazingly quickly, which is a huge plus if you have errands to run after your workout\n$94.95 at Fabletics.com \nBest Workout Tank\nNike Dri-FIT Training Tank Top\n\nThere’s something undeniably iconic about a Nike training tank top, and the faded lettering and relaxed fit are a clear throwback to a time when Michael Jackson dominated the pop charts and Michael Jordan dominated the courts. There’s substance to this style, though: Nike’s Dri-FIT technology is still equal or better to any competing fabric for sweat-wicking and breathability, while the knit fabric withstands everything from a pickup basketball game to HIIT workouts with ease.\n$60 at Nike.com \nBest Walking Shoes\nKizik Athens\n\nWalking went from a pastime for poets, philosophers and tourists to a fantastic way to burn calories without adding fatigue and stress to your muscles and joints, but you need a comfortable, durable pair of shoes that can handle 10,000+ steps a day, every day, and the Athens from Kizik are exactly that. Their hands-free technology, allowing you to slip your feet in over the heel without damaging it, is simply the best in the business, while the molded EVA foam midsole and rubber pods on the outsole add comfort and reduce ground forces.\n$129.95 at Kizik.com \nBest Compression Shirt\nUnder Armour HeatGear Compression Shirt\n\nThe OG of compression apparel still makes fantastic performance clothing, especially if you prize durability and warmth. The HeatGear Compression shirt will allow you to train at the highest intensity, even when temps fall to their lowest, while keeping you not only warm but also dry. Strategically placed mesh panels at the underarms and back promote airflow, while the faux-turtleneck design helps keep your core temperature that much higher.\n$30 at UnderArmour.com \nBest Workout Pants\nLululemon Pace Breaker Pant\n\nIf you prefer to train in pants, you need a lightweight, breathable and sweat-wicking option that won’t tear in two the second you decide to do some lunges or Romanian deadlifts. Lululemon’s Pace Breaker pants incorporate ultra-stretchy Lycra to improve the fabric’s four-way stretch, hugely enhancing mobility, and a mesh yoke at the rear to promote airflow. Zippered hems and an internal drawcord at the waistband add customizability, while zippered side pockets keep your valuables secure, even when you’re stretching or doing floor work.\n$128 at Lululemon.com \nBest Workout Joggers\nFabletics The One Jogger\n\nEngineered for both indoor and outdoor workouts, The One Jogger from Fabletics uses a high-stretch, quick-drying fabric to withstand your most dynamic, high-intensity workouts, while convenience features like reflective detailing along the pant legs and hidden zip pockets make these pants easy to live with, whether you’re pushing the pace on an outdoor run or grabbing groceries. And with more than 10 color options, nine waist sizes and three different lengths, it’s easy to dial in your fit. \n$109.95 at Fabletics.com \nBest Compression Tights\nOn Performance Tights\n\nBoasting a sleek, form-fitting design with minimal seams to offer the maximum range of motion, the Performance Tights from On do a fantastic job both wicking away sweat (their DryTec moisture-wicking tech has to be experienced to be understood) and insulating your legs against the cold. A zippered back pocket keeps your keys secure, even on fast-paced runs, while side pockets can store your phone or wallet safely. \n$120 at On.com \nBest Workout Shorts\nReigning Champ 4-Way Stretch Nylon Training Short\n\nBuilt from ultra-durable, lightweight nylon designed specifically to wick away moisture and resist pilling and abrasion, these Nylon Training Shorts from Reigning Champ come with a built-in compression liner to protect your skin from chafing as your workout intensity ramps up. Mesh side panels promote air circulation and improve dry times, while a sweat-resistant zip pocket ensures your phone will never smell like it went through a workout too.\n$88 at ReigningChamp.com \nBest Workout Underwear\nWoolx Reaction Boxer Briefs\n\nEngineered from a combination of Australian merino wool and Woolx’s proprietary DuraLite fabric to be both quick-drying and odor-repelling, these ultra-comfy boxer briefs offer support where you need it most and room to breathe and move when you run, walk or jump. The no-roll waistband stood up to everything from squats to high-knees, while the concealed fly keeps the looks of these boxers sleek.\n$50 at Woolx.com \nBest Workout Socks\nBalega Ultraglide No Show Socks\n\nTough enough to wear on hikes but equally capable of keeping up with your most dynamic workouts, these ultra-versatile socks from Balega use a seamless construction to reduce friction and a yarn-based fabric to promote airflow and wick away moisture. The heel and toe box are reinforced with additional cushioning, to protect against impact and promote durability, while the contoured knitting ensures a solid fit conforming to your foot shape.\n$21 at Amazon.com \nBest Workout Shoes\nReebok Nano X5 Edge\n\nAs a special, updated variant of Reebok’s best-selling Nano X5 training shoe, the Edge lives up to its name with aggressive styling and performance to match. A durable Flexweave upper and DualResponse midsole offer fantastic responsiveness without compromising on comfort, while the rubber outsole and wave-like traction pattern deliver confidence-inspiring grip whether you’re running or doing agility drills.\n$150 at Reebok.com \nBest Squat Shoes\nNike Romaleos 4\n\nForgot Air Force 1s and Jordans. For gym rats, the Romaleos are the iconic Nike shoe, and the fourth iteration of the design only adds to the legend. These are fierce, with a design that somehow manages to be both functional and menacing at the same time. The ultra-wide base, rigid midsole and straps-over-laces design gives you total confidence in the shoe’s stability, which is a major asset when you’re squatting hundreds of pounds to depth, while the raised heel makes it that much easier to get a full range of motion.\n$200 at Nike.com \nBest Gym Bag\nAer Gym Duffel 3\n\nSurprisingly spacious on the inside despite its diminutive looks on the outside, the Gym Duffel 3 from Aer offers refined good looks, multiple carry points, an ultra-durable 1680D ballistic nylon exterior and multiple compartments to separate your gym shoes from your clothes or your sweat-stained shirt from your valuables. An extra-large water bottle pocket accommodates your biggest water bottles, while a quick-access back pocket keeps your valuables (including your gym pass!) secured but close at hand.\n$169 at AerSF.com \nBest Yoga Bag\nLululemon Adjustable Yoga Mat Bag\n\nIf you’re in the market for a minimalist yoga bag to carry your necessities, including your keys, wallet, yoga mat and towel, the Adjustable Yoga Mat Bag from Lululemon does a fantastic job. The water-repellent fabric keeps your mat safe, even in heavy rain, while the easy-access pockets, including a dedicated water bottle slot, ensure all your essentials are always within reach.\n$68 at Lululemon.com \nBest Insoles\nVKTRY Gold Carbon Fiber Performance Insoles\n\nIf you’re going to replace your worn out insoles, opt for an actual upgrade like the VKTRY Golf Carbon Fiber Performance Insoles. These customizable insoles ask you to specify not only your shoe size but also your weight and the sport you’ll play most often while wearing them, allowing VKTRY to offer you the most tailormade experience possible. The insole baseplate is made from aerospace-grade carbon fiber while a low-density closed cell foam midsole adds both comfort and responsiveness — small wonder, then, that these insoles are favorites of some of the most prestigious college athletic programs. \n$149 at VKTRY.com \nBest Hiking Jacket\nIbex Shak Jacket\n\nIbex are the absolute masters of merino wool, managing to spin this cozy fabric into performance apparel that stands the test of time, and their Shak Jacket is a great demonstration. The soft wool fabric is gentle on your skin, even late in a hike, while also providing reliable warmth. A bevy of pockets, at the sides, front and chest, add practicality, while standout design features like the stand collar adding wind protection and the gusseted underarms adding mobility all testify to the thought that went into this hiking jacket’s construction. \n$265 at Amazon.com \nBest Running Shirt\nThe North Face Summit Series High Trail Short-Sleeve Shirt\n\nIf you want a high-performance running shirt that doesn’t sacrifice style, look no further than the Summit Series High Trail Short-Sleeve from The North Face. Ultra-lightweight and moisture-wicking recycled polyester provides excellent performance, undiminished by heavy sweat, while the split hem design on the side seams increases mobility. The side and underarm seams are also bonded to eliminate friction, while reflective elements on the rear ensure cyclists and motorists will see you far ahead come nighttime.\n$75 at TheNorthFace.com \nBest Long Sleeve Running Shirt\nInjinji Long Sleeve Shirt\n\nLightweight and impossibly soft, the Long-Sleeve Shirt from Injinji deploys moisture-wicking threads to keep you dry on longer runs, while the relaxed fit and soft-stretching fabric give you excellent range of motion. In addition, an anti-chafe neckline helps to protect your skin when you layer or wear a backpack.\n$45 at Injinji.com \nBest Running Jacket\nSalomon Mountain Flex Hybrid Jacket\n\nIf you’re an all-weather runner, never deterred by rain or cold temperatures, you’ll want a running jacket as tough as you are. Solomon’s Mountain Flex Hybrid Jacket does a fantastic job regulating your body temperature, using their proprietary Strategic PrimaLoft synthetic insulation to keep you warm when the temperatures drop while HexaFlow ventilation panels allow for airflow in likely hot pockets, preventing you from overheating. Finally, the water-repellent exterior does a good job keeping you dry during light rain and a fantastic job shielding your core from cold winds.\n$200 at Salomon.com \nBest Running Singlet\nTracksmith Van Cortlandt Singlet\n\nIn looks, performance and comfort, the Van Cortlandt Singlet from Tracksmith, the brand’s signature racing top, is an absolute standout. Made from their proprietary 2:09 Mesh fabric, it’s ultra-lightweight and breathable, with innate anti-microbial and moisture-wicking properties that will hold up through even the longest races. It’s also available in six different sizes and 12 different color and pattern options, so finding the perfect fit and style for you is a breeze.\n$75 at Tracksmith.com \nBest Running Hat\nBUFF 5 Panel Go Cap\n\nLightweight and so breathable you would think it was made out of clouds, the 5 Panel Go Cap from BUFF keeps your head protected from the elements (including sunlight, thanks to its built-in UPF 50 sun protection) and your hair out of your eyes, with a moisture-wicking fabric that also dries rapidly. It’s available in three solid colors, as well as a variety of fun patterns and designs, allowing you to personalize your fit for each run.\n$35 at BUFF.com \nBest Running Shoes\nReebok FloatZig Double\n\nThe latest iteration in Reebok’s best-selling FloatZig lineup of running shoes, the Double offers a very strong cushioning setup, deploying Reebok’s SuperFloat+ technology, paired with a dual-density midsole, to offer a plush ride that doesn’t sacrifice stability, while a built-in forefoot rocker helps improve energy transfer on every stride. The result is a highly capable running shoe suitable for new and advanced runners looking for a combination of comfort and confidence.\n$140 at Reebok.com \nBest Racing Shoes\nSaucony Endorphine Elite 2\n\nWhen race day finally arrives, you need to upgrade your footwear to meet the moment, and of all the race shoes we’ve tested, nothing felt as good or as fast as the Endorphone Elite 2 from Saucony. They’re ultra-light, at just 7 ounces/199 grams, but still manage to offer excellent cushioning thanks to their proprietary IncrediRUN foam, while a full-length carbon fiber plate runs the full length of the shoe, adding stability and improving responsiveness for more explosive strides. In short, when you’re aiming for a podium finish, these are the shoes you should put in the bag.\n$290 at Saucony.com \nBest Trail Running Shoes\nThe North Face Altamesa 500\n\nTrust the outdoor experts at The North Face to engineer a trail running shoe that inspires confidence in every stride, even when the terrain gets dicey. The Altamesa 500 pairs a nitrogen-EVA foam midsole with high rebound to an ultra-durable rubber outsole with 4 mm lugs, giving you comfort and traction even on wet, uneven ground. The Ghillie lacing system also allows you to perfect the fit, neither too tight nor too loose, while the reinforced heel counter not only adds stability but protects you from the odd rock or pebble. \n$155 at TheNorthFace.com \nBest Recovery Shoes\nVKTRY Recovery Clogs\n\nWhen you’ve put your body through a grueling workout, you probably make a point of focusing on recovery: you might hit the sauna or spend a few minutes stretching and foam rolling. But your feet bear the brunt of the impact from training and they also need some love, which is where the VKTRY Recovery Clogs come in. They use a dual-density EVA footbed with contoured arch support paired with a rocker sole and deep heel cup to support your stride while simultaneously shifting pressure away from your foot and into the shoe, allowing your feet some much-needed rest. Built-in ventilation holes also dissipate heat buildup and give your skin a chance to dry and breathe. The end result is like a vacation for your tired and beat-up feet.\n$99 at VKTRY.com \nBest Running Shorts\nThe North Face Summit Series Pacesetter Shorts\n\nMade from recycled materials and designed to be both extremely lightweight and water repellent, with an effortless stretch built into the fabric, the Summit Series Pacesetter Shorts from The North Face were designed for people who love to run, all day, every day. No detail was left unthought of, from the internal liner to eliminate chaffing to the reflective elements to promote nighttime visibility or the multiple storage pockets, including mesh options for keeping your house key safely stored.\n$80 at TheNorthFace.com \nBest Compression Shorts\n2XU Core Compression Shorts\n\n2XU has built their entire brand around compression clothing, and it shows. Their Core Compression Shorts offer superior support from your waist to your knees, with a recycled nylon-lycra fabric blend (known internally as PWX, for Power, Weight and Flexibility) that conforms to your body’s movements without losing its hold. Perfect the fit with the drawstring waistband and you get the best possible compression experience that won’t in any way impede or restrict your movements during exercise.\n$55 at 2XU.com \nBest Running Socks\nInjinji Ultra Run Mini-Crew\n\nIn 2026, we’re urging you to embrace the toe sock! Injinji’s Ultra Run Mini-Crew Socks were engineered for runners, with a mesh top panel allowing ventilation and extra cushioning at the footbed to guard against impact. But the standout feature is definitely the individual toe boxes, which allow for natural foot splay and help your feet more evenly distribute your body’s weight. Try them for a week and tell us you don’t notice reduced foot fatigue after longer runs.\n$19 at Injinji.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\nFitness Awards 2026: Best Home Gym EquipmentFitness Awards 2026: Best Fitness TechFitness Awards 2026: Best Supplements", "keywords": "Fitness, Awards, 2026:, Best, Workout, Clothing", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fitness-awards-2026-best-workout-clothing/workout-clothing-2x1-1769480182.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fitness-awards-2026-best-workout-clothing.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 01:57:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149269", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fitness Awards 2026: Best Supplements", "title_slug": "fitness-awards-2026-best-supplements", "title_hash": "4bc594bdeaf3ddfe5e616e61c546b7ad", "summary": "Build Muscle, Burn Fat & Enhance Performance With the Year's Best Supplements for Men", "content": "Our annual AskMen Fitness Awards are back for 2026, and we’ve spent months testing and comparing the best home gym equipment, fitness tech, supplements and gear to separate the best from the rest and declare our winners. \nIn our most competitive categories, more than a dozen products vied for the top spot, while our panel of judges, encompassing current and former college athletes, weekend warriors and personal trainers, worked overtime to generate feedback and vote on winners.\nBefore we get to business, we’d like to thank not only our hard-working judges for their efforts but also all of the brand reps who battled bad weather, delays and postal worker strikes to ensure our judges got their hands-on testing experience.\nFinally, here are our favorite products of 2026 in the category of Best Supplements:\n\nBest Supplements\n\nBest Protein Powder\nOptimum Nutrition Gold Standard 100% Whey\n\nTo go off of customer reviews or reputation, you really would think Optimum Nutrition’s classic whey is the “gold standard.” Famous both for its delicious taste and easy blending in milk or water, this powder uses nothing but extremely clean ingredients, including a blend of whey protein isolate, concentrate and hydrolyzed whey that even those with sensitive stomachs can generally handle with ease. Best of all, though: each 31-gram serving packs in 24 grams of protein with just 120 calories and 3 grams of carbs, making it an extremely flexible protein option, whether you’re bulking or cutting.\n$39.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Casein Protein Powder\nMyProtein Slow-Release Casein\n\nIf you really want to get clever, you’ll make your late-night protein shake consist mainly of casein protein, feeding your body a steady supply of protein throughout the night. MyProteni’s Slow-Release Casein, available in either Vanilla or Chocolate Smooth flavors, delivers 23 grams of protein per serving, with a complete amino acid profile. It’s also fantastic to bake with, for those of you who prefer to eat your protein.\n$40.99 at MyProtein.com \nBest Plant-Based Protein Powder\nHuel Black Edition\n\nMade from vegan ingredients like peas, flaxseed, coconut and brown rice, and delivering over 27 vitamins and minerals per serving, not to mention 40 grams of protein, Huel is that rare protein powder that can double as a healthy meal replacement. It’s available in six delicious flavors, from Cookies and Cream to Strawberry Shortcake, all of which are 100% vegan and free of any artificial sweeteners, GMOs and gluten. And because of the heavy dose of flax and brown rice, it also serves up between 9 and 11 grams of fiber per serving, which not only helps with digestion but also promotes satiety. \n$59.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Clear Protein\nBelieve Protein Refresher\n\nClear proteins are nothing short of miraculous, ditching the taste and consistency of old-school whey protein for something closer to a delicious juice, but it was Believe’s Protein Refresher that really showed us the possibilities of the category. Whether you opt for the Pineapple Punch or Strawberry Lemonade variant, you’ll never believe this delicious, refreshing cocktail is also delivering 20 grams of protein with each thirst-quenching scoop. Pro tip from our judges: drink it with ice for an even more satisfying sipping experience. \n$44.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Protein Soda\nBucked Up Lightly Carbonated Protein Soda\n\nOne day in the not-too-distant future, sodas will no longer be stigmatized as sugary, cavity-causing indulgences, and Bucked Up will be responsible. Their Lightly Carbonated Protein Soda might be a mouthful to pronounce but trust us when we say it goes down easy. Each 16-ounce can delivers 25 grams of protein in just 100 calories, which, as those amateur chemists among you have already figured out, means that this drink is basically pure protein. It has no right to taste as good as it does, either, because we would drink these like water.\n$39.95 at Amazon.com \nBest Protein Shake\nVital Proteins Collagen & Protein Shake\n\nFrothy, thick and flavored like a chocolate milkshake, these readymade protein drinks from Vital Proteins not only pack a whopping 30 grams of protein into every serving but also manage to include 10 grams of high-quality collagen peptides, helping to promote healthy skin, nail and hair growth while simultaneously alleviating joint pain. \n$9.98 at Walmart.com \nBest Plant-Based Protein Shake\nKoia Plant Based Protein Shake\n\nFor all you vegans equally interested in readymade shakes, Koia’s Plant Based Protein Shake offers a fantastic dairy-, gluten- and GMO-free alternative to whey-based drinks. Every serving not only packs 20 grams of plant protein and 6 grams of prebiotic fiber, but also a bevy of vitamins and minerals, including iodine, magnesium and zinc, making this a much more nutritious alternative to the typical protein shake. \n$46.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Mass Gainer\nNAKED MASS\n\nIf your mantra for 2026 is “go big or go home” and your perma-bulk is about to begin, opt for NAKED MASS, an all-natural weight gainer that will put size on even the most skinny, twig-shaped of men. Each serving boasts a whopping 1,360 calories, including 251 grams of carbs, 50 grams of protein and 11.6 grams of BCAAs. Not only does NAKED exclude gluten, soy and GMOs from their ingredient list, but they also go the extra mile by sourcing their whey exclusively from free roaming, grass-fed cows.\n$89.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Creatine Supplement\nOptimum Nutrition Micronized Creatine\n\nAs far as we’re concerned, creatine is a super supplement, something that absolutely everyone should take, not just people concerned about building size and strength. In fact, all of the latest research around creatine touts its cognitive benefits more than its benefits for athletic performance. But you do need a high-quality, unadulterated powder, which is why we love Optimum Nutrition’s Micronized Creatine. It’s unflavored and easy to mix, so you can put in your protein shake, morning smoothie or electrolyte drink, with each scoop delivering five grams of high-quality micronized creatine for maximum absorbency.\n$27.43 at Amazon.com \nBest Pre-Workout\nCellucor C4 Sport\n\nCellucor is almost synonymous with the pre-workout, as their best-selling C4 lineup has been running the game for more than a decade at this point, but it was their C4 Sport variant that most impressed our judges this year. Available in three delicious flavors (Watermelon, Fruit Punch and Blue Raspberry), C4 Sport includes 135mg of caffeine in each serving, as well as magnesium, sodium, potassium and creatine, all of which will help you push your body to new limits in your training. \n$24.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Stim-Free Pre-Workout\nTransparent Labs Stim-Free Pre-Workout\n\nAs much as we love to advocate the “wake up and grind” lifestyle, the reality is that some people are only able to train after work, when their focus and energy levels are both at a low point. If that’s you, and you don’t want to risk losing out on sleep with a caffeinated pre-workout, check out this Stim-Free Pre-Workout from Transparent Labs. True to their policy, it contains all the key ingredients on the label, including 8 grams of citrulline malate, four grams of beta alanine, and 2.5 grams of betaine anhydrous, all of which improve blood flow and muscle contractions without throwing off your circadian rhythm for hours after.\n$49.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Intra-Workout\nTailwind Nutrition High Carb Fuel\n\nIf your training sessions last over an hour, and definitely if they last over two hours, your body will require an intra-workout fuel of some kind to keep performance high. We recommend Tailwind Nutrition’s High Carb Fuel for exactly those mid-workout moments when energy and motivation starts to dip but there’s still work to be done. Each serving contains 360 fast-digesting calories, as well as key electrolytes to fuel performance like sodium, potassium and calcium. And because these come in single-serving packs, you can take them wherever your workouts take you, whether that’s the track or a hiking trail. \n$25.50 at TailwindNutrition.com \nBest Post-Workout\nTransparent Labs Post\n\nWhen it comes to fitness nutrition, what you fuel your body with after a workout is every bit as important as what you consume prior to training. Dial in your post-workout nutrition with Post from Transparent Labs, a recovery-promoting supplement with 5 grams of creatine and 5 grams of glutamine in every serving, helping to speed up glycogen replenishment, restoring energy to tired muscles, repairing damaged tissue and alleviating muscle soreness. It even includes gut-healing ingredients like L-Glutamine and Astragin, aiding in nutrient absorption and promoting whole-body wellness. \n$49.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Electrolyte Mix\nThread Performance Daily Hydration\n\nWith over 1,500mg of total electrolytes, including a super-dose of potassium to improve absorption, Thread’s Daily Hydration electrolyte mix combines the necessary minerals you need to replenish your body after exercise without artificial sweeteners or sugars. Simple, clean and delicious, and available in four distinct flavors (Blue Rush, Electric Lemon Lime, Watermelon Wave and Peach Mango Punch) delivered monthly, right to your door, Daily Hydration should be a staple in every athlete’s supplement stack.\n$29.95 at ThreadPerformance.com \nBest Greens Supplement\nHuel Daily Greens\n\nWhile we’re definitely proponents of the “eat your vegetables” approach to eating, it’s also true that absolutely no one, however careful, is covering all of their nutritional bases, which is why consuming a regular greens supplement makes so much sense. Huel’s Daily Greens includes 91 vitamins and minerals, all sourced from whole-food ingredients, balanced in such a way as to maximally promote brain function and immune system support, as well as to give your hair, skin and nails the basic ingredients they need to grow and heal as they should. And unlike a lot of greens supplements, Huel also offers flavor variety: choose from either Lemon & Ginger, Peach Passionfruit, Watermelon or their Original flavors. \n$49.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Collagen Supplement\nVital Proteins Collagen Peptides\n\nThe word is finally out about collagen. From celebrities defying aging to fitness influencers touting its ability to promote bone density and reduce joint pain, everyone is hopping on the collagen train, but let us be the first to warn you that quality and purity matter. Vital Proteins sources all of its collagen from grass-fed, pasture-raised cattle, delivering 20 grams of high-quality collagen in every serving, without artificial sweeteners, gluten or dairy. And because it’s unflavored and mixes easily, you can take it in a smoothie, protein shake, oatmeal bowl or even your morning coffee. It’s also available in single-serving sticks, for those of you who prefer to take your collagen with your post-gym shake. \n$27 at VitalProteins.com \nBest BCAA\nBSN Amino X\n\nAmino acids are the building blocks of proteins, which makes a complete BCAA supplement an excellent addition to any supplement stack, particularly for those operating on a limited calorie budget. BSN’s Amino X offers 10 grams of micronized amino acids (in the desired 2:1:1 ratio of leucine, isoleucine and valine, naturally) in every serving, unadulterated by sugar or caffeine, in any of four flavor varieties: Blue Raz, Fruit Punch, Grape and Watermelon, all of which mix well in water or sports drinks.\n$24.84 at Amazon.com \nBest Recovery Supplement\nTailwind Nutrition Recovery Mix\n\nCombining hydrating electrolytes, 20 grams of muscle-repairing protein and 34 grams of fast-digesting carbs in a single serving, Tailwind Nutrition’s delicious Recovery Mix (available in Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla and Salted Caramel flavors) is the perfect recovery option to take you “from wrecked to ready” after a particularly grueling workout. The consistency is similar to that of a milkshake, smooth and delicious, while the single-serving packs make on-the-go consumption effortless.\n$55.99 at TailwindNutrition.com \nBest Protein Bar\nGHOST Protein Bars\n\nIt was only a matter of time before the protein chefs over at GHOST tried their hand at creating a bar, and we’re happy to report the result is both delicious and satisfying. Each individual serving actually contains two bars, with the kind of crunchy texture you’re used to in your favorite chocolate bars, but these pack 20 grams of protein with just two grams of sugar. Pro tip, for those dieters operating on poverty macros: split the bar up into two separate snacks to help you combat your sweet cravings whenever they appear. \n$29.99 at GhostLifestyle.com \nBest Vegan Protein Bar\nNo Cow Vegan Protein Bars\n\nAs the vegan lifestyle continues to grow in popularity, the number of healthy food options catering to vegans has skyrocketed, which has resulted in some genuinely creative and delicious protein-rich snacks. The Now Cow Vegan Protein Bars blew our judges away with their fantastic macros (20 grams of protein and a whopping 14 grams of fiber for just 200 calories) and eight delicious flavor options.\n$28.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Energy Gel\nGU Energy Sports Nutrition Gel\n\nIf you’re an endurance athlete or your sport is pushing you to the absolute limits of your physical capacity, it helps to have a quick-digesting gel to give yourself a calorie boost when you need it most. The Sports Nutrition Gel from GU Energy combines both 100 calories of rapidly-absorbed carbohydrates with a cocktail of electrolytes and BCAAs. And with more than 16 flavor varieties, some including and some excluding caffeine, it’s really easy to find your go-to mid-race energy boost.\n$48 at Amazon.com \nBest Energy Drink\nRYSE Fuel Energy Drink\n\nThere’s no shortage of fantastic energy drink options out there, but for our money, you can’t do any better than the Fuel Energy Drink from RYSE, especially if you opt for the variety pack that includes their Sunny D and Kool-Aid inspired flavors. Each can contains just 5 calories while delivering a whopping 200mg of natural caffeine, as well as 500mg of taurine and 200mg of choline for added focus, but all the beneficial ingredients in the world won’t matter if you don’t enjoy the taste, and on this subject in particular our judges were unanimous: these bad boys are delicious.\n$29.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Multivitamin\nGarden of Life Organics Multi Berry\n\nAlmost no one manages to reach their daily nutritional requirements these days, but athletes and fitness fanatics in particular should reach for a daily multivitamin, because the strain of training puts an even greater nutrient demand on your body. Our judges fell in love with Garden of Life’s Organics Multi Berry, not only for the huge list of included vitamins and minerals, or the 9 organic, whole fruits in every bottle, but the delicious chewable format that made daily consumption a joy.\n$30.39 at GardenOfLife.com \nBest Low-Calorie Condiment\nG Hughes Sugar-Free Asian Sauces\n\nIf you’re on the health-and-fitness bandwagon, you know that finding new and creative ways to make bland foods like chicken, rice and broccoli taste delicious is a huge part of the battle. The entire G Hughes line of sugar-free sauces deserves your attention, adding flavor and variety to your daily meals without loading them up with calories. \n$24.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Focus Supplement\nFor Wellness Focus Gummies\n\nContinuing the gummy trend, For Wellness impressed our judges with their Focus Gummies, delicious, tangerine-flavored chewables loaded with ingredients like Vitamin A, Lutein and Cordyceps Militaris, clinically proven to support vision, block blue light, and enhance cognitive function. Unsurprisingly, they’re particularly popular with professional golfers, whose on-course decision making under pressure can make or break their round. \n$44.99 at ForWellness.com \nBest Sleep Supplement\nTHORNE Melaton-5\n\nNew research into the science of recovery constantly reaffirms what we all know intuitively: sleep is important — for hormone production, muscle tissue repair, cognitive function, athletic performance. If you’re struggling to get adequate rest, it’s time to reach for the big guns, and THORNE’s Melaton-5 packs a potent, sleep-inducing punch. Each capsule delivers 5mg of fast-acting melatonin, helping you not only fall asleep but re-establish a healthy circadian rhythm, setting you up for future nighttime rest. \n$22 at Amazon.com \nBest Gut Health Supplement\nAlkamind Gut Punch\n\nApart from being both embarrassing and incredibly uncomfortable, digestive issues are also a serious health liability, limiting your body’s ability to extract vital nutrients from the food you eat. If gut inflammation is a problem, Alkamind’s Gut Punch is the solution, combining dairy-free colostrum with collagen peptides specially formulated to heal and seal your stomach lining, kill off harmful pathogens and restore your gut health.\n$75 at GetOffYourAcid.com \nBest Hydration Supplement\nOptimum Nutrition Pro Quench\n\nCombining collagen peptides with electrolytes, this powdery mix from Optimum Nutrition more than fulfills the promise of its name, quenching your thirst when you’re at your most dehydrated. There’s even 10 grams of clear protein isolate in each serving, making Pro Quench a comprehensive solution to thirst that also promotes recovery from strength-based training exercises. And because taste is every bit as important, let’s reassure you: both the Strawberry Splash and Tropical Orange flavors are delicious. \n$34.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Supplement for Hair\nNutrafol\n\nWhile there are two FDA-approved drugs to treat male pattern baldness, there is also a raft of scientific evidence linking certain vitamins and minerals to healthier hair. Whether you’re balding, thinning or just chasing more luscious locks, you owe it to yourself to give Nutrafol a try. Their 21-ingredient hair complex throws the kitchen sink at hair health, from selenium and zinc to biotin and black pepper, resulting in thicker, denser and healthier follicles.\n$88 at Amazon.com \nBest Supplement for Skin\nTRU NIAGEN\n\nA new coenzyme, nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide, better known by the acronym NAD+, has caught fire in health communities when its gradual decline in the human cell was positively linked to signs of aging. Now, everyone from athletes chasing better performance to celebrities trying to stay young are supplementing with NAD+. TRU NIAGEN has been clinically proven to boost NAD+ levels over 50% above baseline in just two weeks of daily usage, which for our judges resulted in noticeably more supple facial skin, as well as deeper sleep and improved energy levels. \n$49 at Amazon.com \nBest Immune Boosting Supplement\nAirborne Immune Support\n\nYou can’t train if you’re feeling sick, and dodging illness during flu season can feel like playing Minesweeper. Thankfully, you can give your immune system a boost with Airborne, a vitamin-and-mineral complex containing everything you need to support your immune system: vitamins C, D, and E plus zinc. Best of all, the delivery vehicle for all this immune-boosting goodness is an elderberry-flavored chewable gummy.\n$14.49 at Amazon.com \nBest Probiotic Supplement\nGarden of Life Dr. Formulated Once Daily Probiotics\n\nAs we come to learn more and more about the importance of gut health and its incredible connection to brain function, not to mention the vital role it plays in extracting nutrients from the food we eat, probiotics look less like a curiosity for the few and more like a necessity for the many. Garden of Life’s Dr. Formulated Once Daily Probiotics offer 15 live probiotic strains in every capsule, improving digestive function, reducing bloating and gas, and promoting better colon health. And a word to those of you on high-protein diets: you’re definitely going to want to add this to your supplement stack, not only for your gut’s sake, but for the well-being of anyone sharing a confined space with you. \n$36.79 at GardenOfLife.com \nBest Omega-3 Supplement\nAlkamind Acid-Kicking Omega-3\n\nThere are so many benefits to omega-3s that it would almost be faster to tell you what they don’t do for you, but the quality of your omega-3 supplement matters a lot. Lots of inferior options offer omega-3s sourced from rancid fish, or in insufficient quantities to make a difference, or, most sneaky of all, in an inferior EPA:DHA ratio. Alkamind’s Acid-Kicking Omega-3 sources only deep-water, cold-water ocean and wild-caught fish before their fish oil undergoes a triple-purification process to ensure that what you’re consuming is free of mercury, cadmium, lead and 400+ other potential fish contaminants. The end product is a potent, pure and optimally balanced omega-3 supplement that will fight inflammation, improve cardiovascular and cognitive function, and even slow down the signs of aging. \n$59.99 at GetOffYourAcid.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\nFitness Awards 2026: Best Workout ClothingFitness Awards 2026: Best Fitness TechFitness Awards 2026: Best Home Gym Equipment", "keywords": "Fitness, Awards, 2026:, Best, Supplements", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/fitness-awards-2026-best-supplements/fitness-supplements-2x1-1769434435.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/fitness-awards-2026-best-supplements.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 01:57:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149270", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What You Need to Know About Mitochondrial Health", "title_slug": "what-you-need-to-know-about-mitochondrial-health", "title_hash": "39661a6c803a42a1f81d81df69253a0d", "summary": "How One Tiny Cellular Structure Holds the Key to Better Health & Longevity — and How You Can Harness It", "content": "You might remember mitochondria from biology class. Often touted as “the powerhouses of the cell,” these specialized parts of your cells are responsible for generating energy – among other key functions. They’re now having a moment in longevity and wellness circles, as some experts and researchers are exploring their potential role in aging and disease. \nBut what should the average man keep in mind about mitochondrial health? Here’s what you need to know – and what to focus on to help every mitochondrion (yes, that’s the singular of the word) perform at its best.\nRELATED: A Beginner's Guide to Peptides\n\nWhat Are Mitochondria?\n\n \nMitochondria are tiny structures inside cells that have a specific job: Generate the energy needed for the cell to function. “They take the food you eat and the oxygen you breathe and turn them into energy your body can actually use,” says Dr. Pablo Prichard, board-certified reconstructive surgeon, longevity expert, and host of NBC’s Forever Young. “Every muscle movement, hormone signal, brain function and repair process depends on them.” \nMitochondria also play a role in calcium storage, heat production, cell signaling (how cells communicate to make sure everything is running smoothly in your body) and regulating programmed cell death.\n \nThey even have their own DNA, which is passed down exclusively from the mother. Some researchers believe that protecting mitochondrial DNA through habits like sleep, diet, exercise and stress management may help support healthy aging. \n\nThe Importance of Mitochondria\n\nIn recent years, research has shown a link between various diseases and mitochondrial dysfunction, from neurodegenerative disorders like Alzheimer’s to type 2 diabetes. \nThis connection becomes relevant as we talk about aging, since mitochondrial performance naturally starts to drop with time. “As we get older, mitochondria naturally decline. We tend to have fewer of them, they don’t produce energy as efficiently, and they generate more oxidative stress,” says Prichard.\n \nAnd while aging is a natural part of life, you can influence your biological age – how old your body is at a cellular level and how good you feel in it – with lifestyle choices such as habits that may protect your mitochondria. \n“Because mitochondria play a central role in how cells produce energy, supporting their function can help men maintain overall physical and mental resilience over time,” notes David Jan, Ph.D., staff scientist at Aonic.\n \nFor men, mitochondrial health is tied to things like strength, muscle mass, testosterone levels, heart health and mental sharpness and metabolism, adds Prichard – all things you’ll likely care about more as you age.\nStill, it’s important to keep the conversation grounded. Yes, science shows a relationship between mitochondrial function and disease. But the bigger picture is more nuanced. \nWhile, as science communicator Jonathan Jarry puts it, it’s tempting to conclude that “every noninfectious disease results from our mitochondria malfunctioning, and anything that can restore mitochondrial function will heal us from these diseases,” it’s important not to treat mitochondria like a magic bullet of health, but a piece of the wellness and longevity puzzle that’s worth paying attention to. \n\n7 Habits that Boost Mitochondrial Health\n\n \nWondering what you can do to help foster healthy mitochondria? From regular movement to sleep hygiene, here are seven habits to embrace: \nExercise: One of the most powerful things you can do for your mitochondria is exercise, as “movement is the strongest signal your body has to make new, healthier mitochondria,” notes Prichard: “Aerobic training, especially steady Zone 2 cardio, increases both the number and efficiency of mitochondria. High-intensity intervals improve how much power they can produce. Strength training protects the mitochondria in your muscles.” Sleep: Sleep hygiene is also at the top of the list, as most cellular maintenance processes happen while you snooze – and this includes giving your mitochondria time to reset. Mitochondria actually have circadian rhythms, which may be one more reason why consistent sleep and wake times are so important for long-term health.Manage your stress: What you do for your mental health also protects your mitochondria. “Chronic stress and constant overexertion can negatively affect mitochondrial efficiency because it creates oxidative stress, so recovery, stress management and time outdoors matter more than most people think,” says Jan. \n\nTry intermittent fasting: Some research also shows that intermittent fasting may help promote mitochondrial health by stimulating a process called mitophagy, which is your body’s way of “cleaning up” damaged mitochondria. \n\nEat a Mediterranean diet: This eating style naturally includes plenty of the nutrients that mitochondria thrive on. “A diet built around whole foods rich in minerals and antioxidants, like leafy greens, berries, quality proteins and healthy fats, provides the foundational nutrients mitochondria rely on,” says Jan. Reduce toxic load: “Environmental exposures add up,” says Prichard. “Things like heavy metals, pesticides, air pollution, and excess alcohol directly damage mitochondrial membranes and DNA. Mitochondria are some of the most toxin-sensitive structures in the body, which is why reducing exposure wherever possible matters.” Consider supplements: As Jan puts it, supplements are most effective when used to support an already healthy lifestyle. According to Prichard, nutrients like CoQ10, which plays a key role in energy production; magnesium, which is required to activate ATP, your body’s energy currency; B-vitamins, which are essential for mitochondrial energy cycles; Omega-3s, which improve membrane efficiency; and creatine, which helps buffer energy demand in muscles, can all help.\n \nThat said, it's always wise to check with a healthcare professional before starting a new supplement regimen. And, again, going crazy with supplements won’t do anything if you’re not covering bases like eating nutrient-dense foods, moving your body and sleeping well. \nThe good news is, you don’t need to do anything extreme to support your mitochondria as you age. It’s all about the small habits you should already be prioritizing for overall health.\nYou Might Also Dig: \nHealthspan vs Lifespan10 Foods That Lower TestosteroneHow to Hack Your Body for Better Sleep", "keywords": "What, You, Need, Know, About, Mitochondrial, Health", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/what-you-need-to-know-about-mitochondrial-health/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1769440145.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/what-you-need-to-know-about-mitochondrial-health.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 01:57:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149267", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fitness Awards 2026: Home Gym Equipment", "title_slug": "fitness-awards-2026-home-gym-equipment", "title_hash": "cd4ad05cab5ef883fbb02b79bbdaeb1e", "summary": "Kit Out Your Home Gym With the Year's Best Treadmills, Racks, Weight Plates & More", "content": "Our annual AskMen Fitness Awards are back for 2026, and we’ve spent months testing and comparing the best home gym equipment, fitness tech, supplements and gear to separate the best from the rest and declare our winners. \nIn our most competitive categories, more than a dozen products vied for the top spot, while our panel of judges, encompassing current and former college athletes, weekend warriors and personal trainers, worked overtime to generate feedback and vote on winners.\nBefore we get to business, we’d like to thank not only our hard-working judges for their efforts but also all of the brand reps who battled bad weather, delays and postal worker strikes to ensure our judges got their hands-on testing experience.\nFinally, here are our favorite products of 2026 in the category of Best Home Gym Equipment:\n\nBest Home Gym Equipment\n\nBest Walking Pad\nGOYOUTH Walking Pad\n\nReliable, quiet and deceptively powerful despite its easy-to-store design, this walking pad from GOYOUTH checks all the boxes, allowing you to get your steps in while you work, watch TV or surf the net. A built-in LED display gives key metrics like pace, time, distance and step count, while superior shock absorption together with a 300-pound maximum weight capacity ensures comfort, even at higher speeds. The included remote control also makes it easy to ramp up the intensity, from 0.5 km/h up to 6 km/h with the press of a button.\n$289.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Treadmill\nNordicTrack T Series\n\nWith an unlimited budget, you can go pretty wild kitting out an expensive, top-of-the-line treadmill, but if you’re working with limited funds and limited space but still want a versatile, durable and feature-rich option you can use every day of your life, the T Series from NordicTrack deserves your attention. Our testers especially loved the tilting 10” touchscreen, 0-12% incline and foldable design of the T Series 9, as well as the fact that, even during faster runs, it operated at reasonably low volume, which is a pretty significant upside for people who don’t want to wake up their kids or spouse.\nFrom $599 at Amazon.com \nBest Rowing Machine\nHydrow Origin Rowing Machine\n\nFor their low profile and small footprint and the minimal strain they place on your joints, rowing machines have become a home gym staple, so competition for the top spot in the market is fiercer than ever. The Hydrow Origin was our standout rowing machine thanks to its slick, sturdy and foldable design, highly-detailed 22” rotating touchscreen display, and above all their proprietary electromagnetic drag technology, which does a much better job than most belt-based systems at mimicking the feel of rowing through actual water. If you’re an avid rower, it’s also well worth springing for the monthly membership, which will unlock more than 5,000 workouts as well as access to personalized instruction to help guide your progress. \n$2,195 at Amazon.com \nBest Stationary Bike\nSchwinn Fitness IC4\n\nSimple, functional and amazingly well built, with a footprint small enough to fit in the most modest apartments, the Schwinn Fitness IC4 delivers exceptional performance, adjustable resistance, and a racing-style setup that will help avid cyclists translate their indoor work into road performance. Eschewing a built-in screen to cut down on costs, the IC4 nevertheless includes a built-in phone and tablet holder, allowing you to use your preferred workout app or just watch your favorite Netflix series as you get your sweat on. \n$799 at Amazon.com \nBest Air Bike\nRogue Echo Bike V3.0\n\nIt’s tough to write about Rogue’s Echo Bike without repeating compliments. First, it’s nearly indestructible, giving the feeling of stability even when 250-pound men are pushing the pedal as hard as they can, as fast as they can. And even at high speeds, that heavy-duty fan and belt-drive system never make much noise, making it safe to use at all hours of the day or night. With the V3.0 release, Rogue added enhanced Bluetooth connectivity, allowing you to hook the Echo Bike up to the most popular cycling apps. If we had to name a downside, it’s probably weight: the bike weighs more than 120 pounds, but we promise you’ll be more focused on the killer workouts it delivers. \n$895 at RogueFitness.com \nBest Elliptical\nBowflex Max Total 16\n\nEllipticals were slower to hit the home gym market than bikes, treadmills and rowing machines, but that extra delay just gave manufacturers more time to perfect the design for home use. Case in point: the Bowflex Max Total 16. Boasting 20 different resistance levels, a 16” HD touchscreen (with WiFi connectivity, naturally), and a compact footprint, it offers a near-perfect replica of the elliptical workout you can get at a commercial gym. And thanks to its magnetic disc resistance system, cleverly tucked away inside a fan casing, it does a fantastic job minimizing noise, allowing you to push the intensity level day or night. \n$2,899 at Bowflex.com \nBest Workout Hub\nTonal 2\n\nFully kitted out, the Tonal 2 workout hub is a compact, comprehensive solution to your home gym needs, offering you personalized training in the privacy of your living room. With the upgraded Tonal 2, you gain up to 250 pounds of cable resistance in the adjustable arms, as well as key accessories like a bar, rope and bench to unlock over 300 distinct movements. And thanks to that vibrant, extra-large display paired to a built-in camera and speakers, you can communicate directly with your personal trainer, receiving live feedback as you complete your personalized workout. \n$4,295 at Tonal.com \nBest Cable Machine\nRogue CTM-1 Cable Tower\n\nIf you want to unlock cable movements but don’t have the space for a full functional trainer, Rogue has an elegant solution: their CTM-1 Cable Tower comfortably fits in the corner of any room, unlocking vertical rowing movements and a wide array of single-arm cable exercises, especially if you add some of their fantastic accessories. The 250-pound weight stack (upgradeable to 300 pounds) suffices for even the strongest fitness buffs, while Rogue’s cable pulley system functions with a buttery-smoothness that has to be experienced to be believed. And most importantly, while the pulley system uses a 2:1 ratio for the lower connection, it operates at a true 1:1 ratio for the lat pulldown, giving your larger muscles access to greater resistance. \n$2,995 at RogueFitness.com \nBest Bench\nMajor Fitness Adjustable Bench\n\nMajor Fitness has made major strides in the home gym market, earning a reputation for ingenuity and affordability that helps to make it the sensible option for the average home gym owner, and their Adjustable Bench is no exception. At a fraction of the price of its higher-end competition, it offers a 1300-pound weight capacity, eight separate angles of incline and a decline option, as well as a clever wheel-and-handle system that makes moving it into place or storing it out of sight totally painless.\n$259.99 at MajorFitness.com \nBest Squat Rack\nFringe Sport Garage Series Squat Cage\n\nEver since the great home gym explosion of the COVID era, squat racks have done nothing but shoot up in price, making it genuinely hard to find a bargain rack. Fringe Sport have answered the call with their Garage Series Squat Cage, cleverly designed to maximize value while cutting down on costs. Its 2x2-inch uprights and sturdy base allow for a maximum weight capacity of 600 pounds, far above even most strong lifters’ capacity, while the base price includes things that most other brands treat as optional extras, such as spotter arms and weight horns. This model even comes with two pull-up bars, one standard and one “fat.” \n$349 at FringeSport.com \nBest Squat Stand\nRogue SM-1 Monster Squat Stand 2.0\n\nWhen size, space and budget are all limited, a squat stand is a great alternative to a full squat rack, offering most of the same functionality of a full rack at a fraction of the cost. Rogue’s SM-1 squat stand has basically been setting the industry standard since its release owing to its narrow width (just 50”) and shorter height (73”) that nonetheless boasts their ultra-sturdy 3x3, 11-gauge steel uprights and luxurious powder coat finishing. For something so compact, it’s remarkable how little it wobbles, even when you’re pushing seriously heavy weight.\n$605 at RogueFitness.com \nBest Folding Squat Rack\nTitan T-3 Series Folding Power Rack\n\nFolding squat racks are probably the single best innovation in the home gym market, radically expanding the possibilities for the great majority of people working with serious space constraints, and Titan has absolutely hit it out of the park with their T3 series of folding racks. You can customize both the rack height (82” or 91”) and depth (21” or 41”), allowing you to keep a car parked in your garage, for example, when the rack isn’t in use, while the cleverly designed pin-and-hinge system allows for fast assembly/disassembly. Add to that the top-notch construction, centered around Titan’s 2x3-inch, 11-gauge steel uprights, and you have an extremely capable rack for a bargain price. \n$524.99 at Titan.fitness\nBest Functional Trainer\nREP Ares Arcadia Max\n\nIt may have gone up in price recently, like almost all home gym equipment, but it’s still hard not to think of the Arcadia Max functional trainer from REP as a bargain. Build quality is absolutely top notch, with extremely smooth cable travel, expertly-constructed trolleys, and superior knurling on all the handles. The base weight stacks offer 220 pounds of resistance (270 pounds with an upgrade) in a 2:1 ratio, adjustable in ten-pound increments, though they’ve also included a five-pound drop-down weight for even more minute adjustments; and with 36 different cable positions and a dozen or so optional attachments, you can do an endless variety of exercises from this one machine. \n$2,699.99 at REPFitness.com\nBest Fixed Weight Barbell\nTitan Fitness Rubber Fixed Barbells\n\nThe right fixed weight barbell adds convenience and flexibility to your home gym. We love both the straight and EZ curl options from Titan Fitness, available from 20 to 110 pounds of weight, or in a convenient, all-in-one set. The 30mm, medium-knurled grip holds true, even when you’re sweating profusely, while the rubber coating on the weights does a fantastic job protecting them from drops and impact, while the matte black coloring looks snazzy in any style of home gym. \nFrom $84.99 at Amazon.com\nBest Dumbbells\nCAP Barbell Rubber Hex Dumbbells\n\nCAP Barbell have cleverly positioned themselves in the home gym sweet spot, offering the maximum quality for the lowest cost, and their Rubber Hex Dumbbells are evidence of that. Available in as little as 10 pounds and as much as 120 pounds, these hexagonal dumbbells boast coated heads, to protect from drop damage, and contoured chrome handles that conform to your hand shape, making them easier to grip even when your hands are sweating.\nFrom $21 at CAPBarbell.com\nBest Kettlebell\nYes4All Powder Coated Kettlebell\n\nKettlebells are incredible, versatile training tools, but as solid pieces of metal, they don’t need to be super expensive to be effective. We fell in love with Yes4All’s range of power-coated, non-slip kettlebells built around a dense iron core. The flat base ensures they never wobble, while the thick handle allows easy maneuverability whether you’re gripping them with one or two hands.\nFrom $37.15 at Amazon.com\nBest Weight Plates\nRogue 6-Shooter Urethane Plates\n\nYou don’t need to spend extra money on fancy weight plates; after all, 45 pounds is 45 pounds. But if you care about aesthetics in your home gym, or just want plates that look and feel great and are easy to handle, the 6-Shooter Urethane Plates from Rogue are obvious standouts. The precision-cut holes and raised-lip edges make them easy to hold and handle, while the 5MM-thick PU coating ensures they’re going to last for the long haul.\nFrom $31 at RogueFitness.com\nBest Bumper Plates\nBells of Steel Dead Bounce Conflict Bumper Plates\n\nAffordable, durable and dense enough to minimize bounce (hence “dead bounce”), these bumper plates from Bells of Steel are all upside. Build quality deserves a mention, as Bells of Steel strictly source virgin rubber and guarantee weight accuracy to +/-1% of claimed weight, while an extra-thick stainless steel insert ring with three distinct anchor points prevents the donut hole from collapsing over time, a common problem among budget bumper plate brands. \nFrom $429.99 at BellsOfSteel.us\nBest Barbell Collar\nRogue HG 3.0 Collar\n\nToo many people sleep on barbell collars, but they’re the one gym accessory you likely use every time you work out. The newly-released HG 3.0 collars from Rogue boast a spring-loaded collar lock and rubberized interior to protect your precious barbell even as it clamps to it, as well as powerful N52 magnets, recessed within the collar frame to prevent metal-on-metal contact, that make it easy to store the collars on your rack when not in use.\n$62 at RogueFitness.com\nBest Sandbag\nREP Fitness Sandbag\n\nSandbags offer a fantastic alternative to larger, more costly traditional home gym equipment, so if you’re short on space or operating on a limited budget, check out REP’s Fitness Sandbag, available in two different sizes and weight capacities. Build quality is top-notch, as you would expect from REP, with a durable cross-stitched 1000D Cordura shell paired to extra-soft handles reinforced with seven rivets. Be advised, though: to cut down on shipping costs, these do not ship with sand included; you will have to provide your own. \nFrom $44.99 at Amazon.com\nBest Battle Ropes\nAmazon Basics Battle Rope\n\nThe most overlooked and underrated piece of cardio equipment is both cheap, versatile and portable. We’re speaking, of course, of battle ropes. And while there are some very high-end options out there, we’re really enthusiastic about this ultra-affordable model from Amazon Basics, available in 1.5” and 2” diameters, with a 600D waterproof sleeve and heat-shrunk end caps to maximize durability and extend the rope’s lifespan.\nForm $44.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Olympic Bar\nEleiko Hybrid Bar\n\nEleiko have been at the forefront of barbell technology for almost as long as people have been buying barbells; it is no exaggeration to say they are the standard-bearers in the category. In other words, it’s no surprise that their Hybrid Bar is the year’s most versatile Olympic barbell, equally at ease with standard barbell movements or explosive Olympic lifts. The 1.0 Standard, volcano-style knurling provides exactly the right amount of grip to help you feel secure without ripping skin off, while the graphite-infused bronze bushings and needle bearings offer incredible rotational performance. Best of all, Eleiko stands by their craftsmanship with a lifetime warranty, so if you take care of this barbell, it will take care of you.\n$830 at Eleiko.com\nBest Resistance Bands\nLEEKEY Resistance Bands\n\nResistance bands are cheap, compact and incredibly versatile, which means they merit a spot in every home gym, from the most humble to the most expensive. We love these color-coordinated sets from LEEKEY, available in a wide variety of resistance levels. They’re perfect for stretching, flossing, and strength and mobility work, and while they’re durable enough to last, they’re also affordable enough to replace when the inevitable wear and tear shows up.\nFrom $29.99 at Amazon.com\nBest Foam Roller\nTriggerPoint Grid 1.0 Foam Roller\n\nSometimes, simplicity is best. The Grid 1.0 foam roller from TriggerPoint is just 13” long and 6” wide, making it ultra-portable and easy to store, but its small size never prevents it from offering a versatile deep-tissue massage. The hollow core and EVA-wrapped exterior, combined with the contrasting patterns of the grid, offer a fantastic deep-tissue massage, promoting blood flow while helping you work out knots and sore spots. It’s just long enough to offer great relief to your larger muscle groups in your back and legs, while compact enough to accurately target smaller muscles like your calves, triceps and forearms.\n$39.99 at Amazon.com\nBest Recovery Aid\nWOD Nation Floss Bands\n\nDespite more attention finally being paid to the importance of training recovery, flossing, as a technique, is still woefully neglected. With regular use, these Floss Bands from WOD Nation allow you to compress and release tense, sore muscle fibers, promote blood flow, and improve joint mobility and flexibility. The extra-long, extra-thick bands make it easy to apply, even in harder-to-reach areas, while the included carrying case ensures they never get damaged in your gym bag.\n$28.93 at Amazon.com \nBest Yoga Mat\nLululemon The (Big) Mat\n\nIt stands to reason that Lululemon, a company built around yoga, would produce a great yoga mat, but their (Big) Mat really needs to be experienced to understand just how much it stands apart from its more generic competitors. The extra-grippy flat layers lend confidence to all your movements, even when you’re dripping in sweat, while an antimicrobial additive holds off mold, mildew and bad odors. The cushioning is also fantastic, protecting your more delicate joints and bones without compromising on support, so you can hit your next Warrior Pose with confidence. \n$128 at Lululemon.com \nBest Gym Fan\nVyper Turbo Fan\n\nIf you live closer to the equator, your home gym might feel more like a home sauna in the summer months, and while you can always go the ultra-luxe route and add air conditioning to your space, a powerful gym fan is a much more cost-effective alternative. Enter the Vyper Turbo Fan, boasting four 24” blades, a brushless DC motor and a sturdy aluminum base that keeps the fan steady through 70 degrees of oscillation. It even comes with a wall-mounting kit, if you prefer to save on floor space.\n$495 at VyperIndustrial.com\nBest Home Gym Accessory Under $20\nGymreapers Wrist Wraps\n\nWho knew you could stabilize your presses and protect your wrists with a single accessory under $20? If you’ve ever sprained or broken your wrist but still want to safely overhead press or bench heavy weight, you owe it to yourself to pick up this heavy-duty, IPF-approved pair of wraps. The simple hook-and-loop design makes it easy to put them on and secure them, while the 18” length provides maximum support.\n$19.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Home Gym Accessory Under $50\nKensui Swissies\n\nLike everyone who has been fortunate enough to discover Swissies, we’re totally blown away by them. These versatile, portable handles fit easily inside a gym bag or store easily out of sight, but they’re mighty enough to hold up to 800 pounds of weight, so whether you’re attaching them to a standard barbell or a weightlifting bar on a cable machine, you can dramatically alter your grip and thereby target entirely different muscles. You can even pair them with bands, pull-up bars and many machines.\n$29 at KensuiFitness.com\nBest Home Gym Accessory Under $100\nREP x Kleva Built Genesis Jack 2.0\n\nIf you do a lot of barbell movements off the floor, then you know the hassle of having to constantly add and remove plates, especially as the weight total creeps up. The REP x Kleva Built Genesis Jack 2.0 takes the pain out of that process using its clever design to give you the needed leverage to raise a bar weighing up to 1,000 pounds. The handle is comfortable to use, while the foot of the device is designed to protect your gym flooring. \n$79.99 at REPFitness.com\nYou Might Also Dig:\nFitness Awards 2026: Best Workout ClothingFitness Awards 2026: Best Fitness TechFitness Awards 2026: Best Supplements", "keywords": "Fitness, Awards, 2026:, Home, Gym, Equipment", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fitness-awards-2026-home-gym-equipment/home-gym-equipment-2x1-1769179680.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fitness-awards-2026-home-gym-equipment.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 01:57:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149268", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fitness Awards 2026: Best Fitness Tech", "title_slug": "fitness-awards-2026-best-fitness-tech", "title_hash": "5de04ded072221fc558f0de86bc75dc4", "summary": "The Most Advanced Gadgets to Improve Your Training, Track Your Health & Prepare Yourself for Competition", "content": "Our annual AskMen Fitness Awards are back for 2026, and we’ve spent months testing and comparing home gym equipment, fitness tech, supplements and gear to separate the best from the rest and declare our winners. \nIn our most competitive categories, more than a dozen products vied for the top spot, while our panel of judges, encompassing current and former college athletes, weekend warriors and personal trainers, worked overtime to generate feedback and vote on winners.\nBefore we get to business, we’d like to thank not only our hard-working judges for their efforts but also all of the brand reps who battled bad weather, delays and postal worker strikes to ensure our judges got their hands-on testing experience.\nFinally, here are our favorite products of 2026 in the category of Best Fitness Tech:\n\nBest Fitness Tech\n\nBest Smartwatch\nGoogle Pixel Watch 4\n\nSmartwatches went from a niche tech category to a must-have fitness accessory in the blink of an eye, with the market getting more competitive and more saturated each year, but in 2026, it was Google’s Pixel Watch 4 that stood above the competition. Our judges loved its sleek good looks, extra-large and vibrant display, and integrated Google Gemini functionality, which can automate common fitness tasks like creating a workout playlist or mapping out a running route. Battery life was also a standout, with the Pixel Watch 4 continuing to run and keep up with longer workouts long after other watches required a charging break. Google has also been heavily leaning into fitness tech of late, and this watch feels like the perfect showcase: there’s dual-band GPS for the most precise possible run mapping, as well as granular data on running dynamics, from stride length to cadence. And for all you outdoor adventurers, Google has included a potentially life-saving feature: satellite connectivity to contact emergency services, where no cellular or WiFi signal can reach. \n$399.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Kids Smartwatch\nGarmin Bounce 2\n\nThere’s a growing movement against giving kids access to tablets and smartphones that might be harming their cognitive development, but there’s a very strong case for gifting your child a smartwatch like the Bounce 2 from Garmin. Not only does it have built-in GPS, so you can enjoy peace of mind when they’re out roaming the neighborhood (the Bounce 2 allows parents to set up geolocation boundaries, sending out an alert if they go farther than you would like), but it also gamifies health and fitness, helping your child build healthy habits and rewarding them for completing chores or reaching health milestones. There’s even a “school mode” to turn off notifications and other distractions when your kid is in class.\n$299.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Fitness Tracker\nFitbit Inspire 3\n\nIf you want most of the functionality of a high-end smartwatch without either the heavy price premium or the added weight on your wrist, the Inspire 3 from Fitbit deserves your attention. With 24/7 heart rate monitoring, automatic exercise tracking, incredibly detailed sleep analysis, and a design so lightweight and unobtrusive that you’ll quickly forget you’re even wearing it, the Inspire 3 goes where you go, effortlessly keeping up with your most demanding workouts while simultaneously providing you the most granular data on everything from your breathing to your heart rhythms to your blood oxygen saturation. And with up to ten days of battery life on a single charge, you can spend less time remembering to charge it and more time running, biking or hiking far from home.\n$99.95 at Amazon.com\nBest Sleep Tracker\nWHOOP 5.0 Life\n\nEasily one of the best-looking wearables, the WHOOP 5.0 is also one of the most advanced, and we were particularly impressed by its sleep tracking capabilities. First, and most important, its SuperKnit Luxe band actually makes it comfortable for all-night wear, while its extra-long, 14-day battery life ensures it won’t lose a charge midway through your shuteye. Their continuous monitoring system analyzes a wide range of physiological data, from quantifiable metrics like blood pressure and heart rate to more esoteric but equally important variables like stress and recovery status, giving you constant feedback such as sleep quality assessments and even behavioral analysis to help you assess which of your habits may be contributing to your sleep problems.\n$359 at Amazon.com \nBest Metabolism Tracker\nLumen\n\nDespite the incredible advancements in wearable technology, there’s no easy way for a watch, ring or wristband to accurately track your metabolism. That’s where Lumen comes in. Using a breathalyzer with a built-in CO₂ sensor and flow meter, Lumen can determine whether or not you’re burning carbs or fat for energy, giving you incredible insight into not only your metabolism from moment to moment but also the efficacy of your diet. Using that information, Lumen will not only give you greater insight into your habits and body rhythms, but will also give you personalized advice based on your own goals, helping you know what to eat and when to achieve the best results. \n$199.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Heart Rate Monitor\nPolar H10\n\nIf you’re looking for the most accurate heart rate information possible, a chest strat will always beat a wrist-worn device, which is why we keep returning to the Polar H10. The strap is easy to adjust and sits comfortably across your chest, becoming barely noticeable on longer runs, while battery life, build quality and durability are all top-notch. Polar’s heart rate monitoring sensors and software are second to none, comparable to the accuracy provided by medical-grade equipment, and constantly improving via Bluetooth software updates. You can even use the Polar Beat app to estimate your Vo2 max on the basis of your run data, an incredibly useful feature for anyone interested in upgrading their cardiovascular health. \n$104.95 at Amazon.com \nBest Running Watch\nGarmin Forerunner 55\n\nThe Forerunner 55 from Garmin isn’t the most expensive runner’s watch, even in Garmin’s own lineup, but it manages to be both a feature-rich, capable run tracking watch and a fantastic value proposition. With up to two weeks of battery life off a single charge (or 20 hours if you keep GPS on the whole time), its got the staying power for even the most elite of ultra-marathon runners and Iron Man competitors, while its host of activity tracking features, including yoga and pilates, guarantees it will keep up with you between runs as well. This watch also has the ability to make run suggestions for you, tailoring your workouts to your level of progress and desired goals. \n$199.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Running Headlamp\nBioLite Dash 450\n\nReflective clothing might be a night run essential, making you much more visible to drivers, but it’s often not sufficient for your safety, because if you can’t see in front of you, you’re inviting a pulled muscle or twisted ankle and the weeks of rehab that come along with it. The solution is a running headlamp, and we can’t recommend the BioLite Dash 450 highly enough. First off, it’s comfortable, with an adjustable head strap that never bounces or jostles, even as your pace quickens. The light itself delivers 450 lumens or brightness in a variety of lighting modes, from white spotlight and flood lights to a dimmable red light, while a tilting function allows you to adjust the angle. There’s even a rear red light to make sure you’re visible to cyclists or motorists coming up behind you. Add to that IPX4 water resistance, USB-C charging and excellent battery life and you’ve got a convenient, reliable running light to brighten up your nightly run. \n$69.95 at BioLiteEnergy.com \nBest Hiking Watch\nCOROS APEX 2\n\nIf you’’re an avid hiker, hunter, trail runner or camper, or if it’s in any way likely that you’ll be spending multiple days and nights in the wilderness, you have to ditch the standard smartwatch in favor of something with not only significantly more battery power but with a more rugged design and outdoor-appropriate feature set. The COROS APEX 2 is built from a combination of sapphire glass and titanium alloy, with a nylon watch strap, so you won’t have to worry about it when you’re hiking, kayaking or swimming. It offers an astonishing 75 hours of battery life with the GPS turned on, more than triple the GPS lifetime of consumer-grade smartwatches, while the downloadable maps can help you locate safety or chart a route home, even when you’re far from satellite towers and signal ranges. \n$449 at Amazon.com \nBest Smart Ring\nOura Ring 4\n\nIf watches and wristbands are too obtrusive for you, especially in a professional setting, you can opt for a smart ring to keep a low profile without sacrificing that granular health data we all crave. The Oura Ring 4, available in six different color choices and 12 sizes for easy personalization, delivers constant tracking of over 50 health metrics, including sleep, stress and activity, while operating for up to eight days off a single charge. And the lack of a screen, speaker or vibration mechanism means you’ll never be distracted by it while you work, read or spend time with your family. With the Oura Membership, you get access to comprehensive logs of all of your data, making it easy to visualize where you’re doing well and where you could stand to improve.\n$499 at Amazon.com \nBest Massage Gun\nTheraGun Prime\n\nUnless you’re a professional athlete who can afford a daily, hands-on massage from an experienced masseuse, the best deep-tissue you’re going to get is from a massage gun. The TheraGun Prime checked all our boxes, offering a powerful deep tissue massage at a reasonable price. With five different intensity settings and two included attachments to help you reach different muscle surfaces, it offers a comprehensive relief package in a portable form factor, and with up to two hours of operation off a single charge, you’ll rarely run out of juice.\n$329.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Running Earbuds\nAnker Soundcore Sport X20\n\nRunning places unique and contradictory demands on earbuds: they need to be simultaneously lightweight and unobtrusive, so as not to bother you on longer runs, but they also need a generous battery life, so they don’t die before you reach the finish line. The Soundcore Sport X20 from Anker, with their IP68 water- and sweat-resistance, extendable ear hooks for a secure hold, and adaptive active noise cancellation, manage to compete on equal footing with earbuds double their price, while the battery life is incredible, lasting up to 12 hours off a single charge or 48 hours if you include the charging case boost. \n$79.99 at Amazon.com \nBest Workout Earbuds\nGoogle Pixel Buds 2a\n\nWith the Pixel Buds 2a, Google has taken square aim at its earbud competitors and fired one heck of a warning shot. The buds themselves are lightweight and durable, both sweat- and water-resistant, but it’s their fit that instantly makes them stand out. Earbuds are notorious for not being a one-size-fits-all affair, as everyone’s ears are uniquely shaped, but the Google engineers have designed these with an adjustable fit: just twist the earbuds counterclockwise to get a snugger fit, or clockwise to loosen them up. Sound quality, as you’d expect, is absolutely top-notch, clear and balanced across music genres, while the buds seamlessly pair with multiple devices, so you can go from listening to colleagues on a work call to listening to your gym playlist from your phone without having to dig through screen menus or fuss with Bluetooth settings.\n \n$129 at Google.com \nBest Workout Headphones\nSony ULT WEAR\n\nIf you prefer to rock over-the-ear headphones to the gym, you can’t do better than the Sony ULT WEAR. Their dual-noise cancelling technology, taken directly from their award-winning 1000X series headphones, helps shut out the sound of cardio machines and generic commercial gym music, allowing you to concentrate on your favorite workout tunes, while the 30-hour battery life paired with a quick charge feature that gets you to 1.5 hours of playback in three minutes ensures you’ll never curse yourself for forgetting to charge your headphones again. The cans themselves are supremely comfortable, with a thermo-foam interior that conforms to your ears without crushing them. \n$248 at Amazon.com \nBest Bone-Conducting Headphones\nSHOKZ OpenRun Pro 2\n\nIf you regularly run in a city or train in an area where you need to be aware of your surroundings, traditional headphones and earbuds can be more of a liability than an asset. Bone-conducting headphones allow for an open-ear design, keeping you better aware of the world around you while still delivering excellent audio quality. Our judges loved the OpenRun Pro 2 from SHOKZ for their deep bass, 3D sound, and light weight, made possible by their uni-body design and Ni-Ti alloy memory wire construction. Call quality is also excellent, even mid-run, thanks to an AI-based noise reduction filter that removes 96.5% of disruptive background noise.\n$179.95 at Amazon.com \nBest Workout App\nFuture\n\nNo, Future isn’t cheap, but it’s somehow still a bargain, mostly because it combines the expertise of a dozen different coaches with a combined 1,700+ years of experience, from college-level strength and conditioning coaches to former professional athletes. Future even does the leg work for you, assessing your fitness level, goals and desired training style and helpfully suggesting the best coach for your needs. You’ll get everything from training templates, form critiques and nutritional advice, all tailored to your needs and the equipment you have available to train with, but best of all for the mere mortals among us, you’ll have someone motivating you and holding you accountable, reminding you of your goals when you need it most.\n$199/month at Future.co \nBest Workout Tracking App\nStrong\n\nYou can definitely still track your workouts the old-school way, with pencil and paper, but nothing beats the speed and convenience of a smartphone, and of all the workout trackers we’ve tested, we keep coming back to Strong. You can create and modify workout templates, draw from their massive assortment of exercises or create your own, and quickly and easily log your sets, reps, rest times and even RPE (rate of perceived exertion — IYKYK). Best of all, Strong keeps comprehensive logs of your progress, showing you, across multiple graphs, how your lifts are progressing over time, or how your body weight fluctuated throughout the year. In its latest iteration, it even added excellent smartwatch integration, making it that much easier to track your lifts while you rest.\nFind out more at Strong.app \nBest Pilates App\nBetterMe\n\nBetterMe isn’t exclusively a Pilates app; rather, it’s a holistic health app with easy-to-follow workout templates, meal plans and a habit tracker tailored to your goals. But its Pilates workouts have become internet-famous, and for good reason: they offer both mat-based and wall-based Pilates workouts, with very detailed instructions and helpful progressions that will take you from beginner to intermediate to advanced in no time. Clear video guides help instruct you through the more difficult or complicated movements, while additional templates for strength and flexibility have great carryover towards your goals. \nFind out more at BetterMe.world \nBest Running App\nStrava\n\nStrava has been around for nearly two decades, which is both a testament to its longevity and to its ability to adapt to the times. It isn't just a running app, of course — you can track up to 30 different activities through the app — but its primary focus is on running and cycling, and it has built up a community of enthusiasts who share times, run routes and advice. The app itself keeps a full log of your training history, allows you to find, build and save preferred running routes, and uses artificial intelligence to generate running advice based on your own metrics. For people who intend to compete, there's even a cool predictive feature that can extrapolate from your current run times to predict how you would finish in a competitive 5K, 10K, half marathon or marathon. In short, Strava does it all, making it an invaluable tool for runners of all experience levels.\nFind out more at Strave.com\nBest Golf Launch Monitor\nRapsodo MLM2PRO\n\nNo sport has embraced technology to the same extent as golf, and for good reason: it’s now possible for people living north of the equator to play golf all year round, in the warmth of their own home, using a launch monitor. And while, in the past, the average launch monitor was prohibitively expensive, today their prices have become much more consumer-friendly. The Rapsodo MLM2PRO is our choice for the average consumer on a budget, offering both dual-camera and radar processing to assess 15 shot metrics, from spin rate and angle of attack to club path and ball speed. Best of all, you can use it as a simulator, with access to more than 30,000 courses and two virtual driving ranges, whether you pair it with a full projector-and-screen setup or just a tablet. \n$699.99 at Rapsodo.com \nBest Nutrition App\nMacroFactor\n\nFor ease of use, convenience, and the unbelievable assortment of insights it unlocks, MacroFactor was our consensus pick for the year’s best nutrition app. Unlike many of its competitors, it is not available for free, but the cost of the subscription is more than justified by the ad-free user experience, intuitive interface, and AI-driven diet planning. Simply tell MacroFactor your current weight and goal weight and it will create a curated diet plan to take you to your destination, adjusting itself along the way with weekly check-ins. Best of all, for those of us who can’t always weigh and cook all our own food, there’s an AI calorie estimating feature: simply take a picture of your meal and let artificial intelligence do its best to break down the likely macros. \nFind out more at MacroFactorApp.com \nBest Sleep App\nCalm\n\nIf getting enough sleep has been a consistent problem for you, and especially if you attribute your troubles to stress or anxiety, you owe it to yourself to try Calm. The app works by helping you establish a pre-sleep routine, using music, soundscapes, meditations and their extremely popular Sleep Stories to lull you into a state of relaxation and prime your body for rest. A Calm subscription also unlocks their in-the-moment calming meditations, breathing exercises and Body Scan program, which helps you get better attuned to your own body.\nFind out more at Calm.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\nFitness Awards 2026: Best Workout ClothingFitness Awards 2026: Best SupplementsFitness Awards 2026: Best Home Gym Equipment", "keywords": "Fitness, Awards, 2026:, Best, Fitness, Tech", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fitness-awards-2026-best-fitness-tech/fitness-tech-2x1-1769202660.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fitness-awards-2026-best-fitness-tech.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-30 01:57:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "149064", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Until I Went to the Hospital, I Never Thought I Played a Part in the Infertility in My Marriage", "title_slug": "until-i-went-to-the-hospital-i-never-thought-i-played-a-part-in-the-infertility-in-my-marriage", "title_hash": "14ff2cb8b5a207e0ec977fce9b5a5e28", "summary": "Since we’re talking about infertility in marriage, and how it’s not always the woman’s issue, I might as well tell my side of the story. Even before we got married …", "content": "

Since we’re talking about infertility in marriage, and how it’s not always the woman’s issue, I might as well tell my side of the story.

Even before we got married in 2023, we were already trying to get pregnant. Yes, we were trying often. But most times, her period would come anyway. It was troubling. You hear of people who get pregnant without even trying, but that was never us. We knew something wasn’t right.

When my wife went for a checkup, she was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst. The doctors explained it was a fluid-filled sac, usually harmless, but sometimes it can make things harder. They put her on medication and encouraged us to keep trying. So we did.

We got married, and even though we were living apart for a while, we hoped that the times we were together would be enough. But it wasn’t. I would call her and sense that change in her mood, you know, when her period came. And quietly, it broke me.

In 2024, my wife suggested I see a urologist. Maybe the problem was from me? The first time, only she had gone to the doctor, and that felt normal. We usually don’t see men as the reason for infertility in marriage. It’s always the woman, right?

Well, I went. And it turned out I had been going up and down for no reason. My sperm count was low because of something called a varicocele. Let me break it down. A varicocele is like a varicose vein, but in the scrotum. It’s common and usually harmless, but it’s also a leading cause of male infertility. Yes, it can cause low sperm count, poor movement, and even affect the shape of the sperm.

The first thing that goes through your head when the doctor tells you your sperm count is low is, “Am I even a man?” The feeling is wild. Devastating, in fact.

The doctor looked me in the face and said, “Your issue cannot be corrected with prayers or medication. It only requires surgery. And even the surgery isn’t certain. It could fail, or it could work. It depends.”

We raised the money, and I went in for the surgery. My wife moved in with me to care for me afterward. During all of this, none of our family knew what we were facing. Maybe they had questions—why weren’t we giving birth?—but they kept it to themselves.

On the day of the surgery, my blood pressure was high. My wife was crying, probably from fear—what if it didn’t work? And I was scared, too. I mean, this is one of the things that makes you feel like a man.

While I was recovering from the surgery, and from the high blood pressure caused by all that fear, my wife took absolute good care of me. Marry a nurse, I tell you. She handled my food, my medicine, the little exercises. Then she would lay out a mat and exercise, too, while I watched and enjoyed the scene.

After three months, we tried again. Nothing. We followed the calendar, lived healthy, did everything by the book, but we didn’t understand what was happening. So I went back to the hospital, did another semen analysis. This time, they said I was good. My results were above the normal range.

On the fourth month, we tried again, and she conceived. Today, we are blessed with our beautiful princess.

Infertility in marriage is not always the woman’s issue. Sometimes the problem is from us, the men. Couples should both get checked and see professionals. Some conditions go beyond prayers. Medical intervention is necessary, and God works through doctors, too.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

Go to the hospital with your wife. Seek professional help, and do what needs to be done.

My wife always calls me “Husband of my Youth.” My beautiful wife, thank you so much. You are more than I asked for. You make me a good husband, and an amazing father, too.

—Senior

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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I met him two years ago in church, in the choir. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t planned. It didn’t begin with sparks or long conversations about love. It began with jokes, laughter after rehearsals, and small moments that slowly grew into something bigger than I ever intended. At first, he was just “that brother in choir.” Friendly, helpful and easy to talk to. One day, out of pure playfulness, we started spending more time together. Sitting closer. Walking out together after practice and sharing little stories. Before I knew it, he had become part of my everyday life.

The first time I entered his house, I noticed a framed picture of a little girl on the wall. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t need to. I understood immediately that he had a child. Which meant there was a woman somewhere in his life. That day, I told myself firmly, “We can never be anything.” I had rules. I had boundaries. I respected myself.

Later, he was honest with me or so I thought. He told me he had someone in his life, but that the relationship was ending. I didn’t believe him. I had heard that story too many times. Men always say that when they want to keep you around. Still, I kept my distance. I stayed in the “friend” zone.

Eventually, he broke up with that woman. The woman wasn’t even the mother of his child like I suspected. We remained close. We visited each other often. We talked every day. We supported each other. Slowly, without any clear conversation, we drifted into something that looked like a relationship but had no name.

He never asked me to be his girlfriend. He never made it official. But the way he treated me felt like love. He cared. He checked on me. He told me he loved me. He said it many times. And I believed him. Yet, deep down, I was never comfortable. This “relationship” kept pushing me to break my own rules over and over again. As a Christian, I had principles I promised myself I would never cross until marriage. But for him, I kept bending them. Not completely. I still had limits. But even bending them made me feel guilty. It made me feel like I was losing myself.

Several times, I ended things. I walked away silently and told myself, “This is not what I want.” But each time, he came back. With apologies. With promises. With sweet words. And each time, I gave in. I kept telling myself, “I expect nothing from him.” That was my shield. My lie and my way of surviving a relationship that didn’t have a name.

He was seeing other girls. I found out more than once. Every time, he apologized. Every time, I pretended it was fine. After all, we had no label. He owed me nothing. That was what I told myself. But every time, I cried alone in silence. For two years, I gave him my loyalty. I never gave any other man a chance. Not once. While he explored, I stayed. While he made mistakes, I forgave. While he wandered, I remained rooted.

He praised me for it. He called me peaceful. Faithful and understanding. He even once asked me to bear a child for him. I didn’t respond because I couldn’t. That crossed every line I had left. I was 26. He was ten years older. An adult. Experienced. He knew better.

A few days ago, my world collapsed. I discovered that another woman was pregnant for him. Not just any woman but a lady from our choir. The same girl I had warned him about. The shock wasn’t only the pregnancy. It was her. She is my direct opposite in character, in temperament, even in beauty. I don’t say this from arrogance, but from disbelief. It made me question everything about myself. Was I not enough? Was I too quiet? Too patient? Too “good”? I confronted him immediately. He lied. He said it wasn’t true. I insisted. I told him everything I knew. Only then did he admit it.

He apologized. He said it was an accident. He said he wasn’t even sure the child was his. He told me he planned to do a DNA test after the baby was born before telling me. In that moment, I heard his words, but I also heard the lies hiding behind them. I knew. When you’ve loved someone deeply, your spirit recognizes dishonesty before your mind can explain it.

Since that day, I have not been the same.

I cannot get him out of my mind. Unfortunately, I love him so deeply that I am dying in silence. My heart feels heavy, like it carries a weight too large for my chest. Almost every night, I cry myself to sleep. Mornings are worse. Waking up feels like punishment. Some days, I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, gathering strength just to stand. Once, I found myself crying in a taxi on my way to work. I couldn’t stop it. The tears came without permission.

The painful truth is this: all along, I was lying to myself when I said I expected nothing. I expected everything. I expected loyalty. I expected honesty. I expected to be chosen.

I feel unbearably lonely. He is literally the only friend I have. I live alone, far away from my family. The one close friend I had from university recently traveled abroad. My world has shrunk into a quiet space where grief echoes loudly and there is no one to hear it.

I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. I meant it. I still mean it. Yet he keeps coming back, finding ways to appear, to talk, to apologize, to hold on. And though it hurts, I am certain I do not want him in my life again. Love should not feel like this. Love should not reduce a woman to tears in public places or make her question her worth in silence.

I am tired of being strong alone. Tired of forgiving without change. Tired of loving someone who says the right things but lives a different truth.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

So now I ask: what can I do to make him let me be? How do you detach from someone who has become your emotional home? Has any woman here faced something like this before? And how—how does a man profess love to you while continuing to give himself to other women?

I am not asking because I am weak. I am asking because I am human. And because somewhere inside this pain, I am still hoping to find my way back to myself.

—Princess

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We’ve been married for a little over a year, but my husband lives in his parents’ house, and I also live in my parents’ house. That wasn’t the plan when we started talking about marriage. My husband was living in his own place, but the rent was almost due, so we agreed we would get a bigger place instead and move in right after marriage.

Right after our wedding, we got a new place and paid for it. The landlord told us he was going to fix the fittings and do some minor plumbing work so we could move in within a few weeks. We both agreed and used the money we received as gifts during our wedding to make a half payment for the rent.

A week later, my husband called to tell me the landlord said he was short of money and would be happy if we paid the rest of the rent. I sent him half of the money, and later in the evening, he said he had gone to pay. Weeks passed, but whenever I asked my husband about the progress of the apartment, he gave me excuses. I was surprised he accepted such excuses from the landlord. I kept asking him, “Don’t you think this landlord is just messing around with us?”

He responded, “Let’s give him some time so he doesn’t do a shoddy job for us.” One afternoon, I passed by the place to see the progress for myself, and to my surprise, there were new tenants in the building. I asked the landlord why, and he said, “I thought you guys said you’d changed your mind, so I gave it to other people so I could refund your payment.”

Unbeknownst to me, a few days after I visited the place, my husband went back to tell the landlord that we wanted a refund. The landlord gave him back the money even before he came to tell me that the landlord was asking for the rest of the money.

I went to see him at his parents’ house, and he told me, “I needed the money for something important, so I had to use it.” To date, I don’t know what that important thing was. He said I should give him only a month and he would raise more money to rent a new place. When the month was up and I asked about it, he told me, “Is where we are going to rent better than my father’s house? Just stop talking and move in with me.”

I felt stupid. I felt betrayed and used. That was the plan all along, and he still went ahead to collect money from me. The most annoying part is what his father told me. He said, “A wife stays where her husband is. Because he has used your money, you won’t live with him again? Will we eat you if you come to live here?”

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I’ve given myself another year, and that will make it two years since we got married. I will sue him for my money and later file for a divorce due to irreconcilable differences. When a man lies and later tries to gaslight and manipulate you to accept his lies, yes, it’s irreconcilable.

—Nhira

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******

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We are planning to walk down the aisle very soon, but something I found out has me deeply worried.

A few months ago, early in 2024, I accidentally saw a conversation on my fiancée’s phone. It was with a male friend. The tone of their messages did not sit right with me at all. To be honest, it felt flirtatious. I am a man, and I know how men think. I could see through the casual words. This was a man who clearly knew how to get a woman’s attention.

His messages were always checking in: “Have you eaten?” “What did you eat?” “Do you need help getting anything from the supermarket?” He even asked, “How is Mum?” That one really got to me. Since when is her mother his business?

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What troubled me more was how she responded. She was very warm and receptive to his attention. This did not feel like a normal, harmless friendship between a man and a woman.

I was upset and I confronted her. Her response was to dismiss it. She said, “Oh, he is just a friend.” Right there in front of me, she blocked him on her phone. She promised me she would not interact with him again. I felt a wave of relief. This woman is the love of my life. I want her to be the mother of my children. I was not willing to risk losing her to some man who sees how amazing she is. I thought the issue was over.

Then, recently, I borrowed her phone to make a call. It was a message from that same man. The very same one she had blocked and promised to avoid.

My heart sank. I looked over at her, busy with her own things, completely unaware. I opened the message. What I discovered was that she had unblocked him and they had been talking for some time. The man was still deeply flirtatious with her. He was inviting her to his house to “Netflix and chill,” which, let’s be honest, rarely just means watching movies. He called her “love” and other sweet nicknames. He wrote her little poems. There were good morning messages, good night messages, have-a-nice-day messages.

What I cannot understand is why my fiancée is not shutting this down. Why has she not told him clearly, “I am engaged to be married”? Why does she owe him any explanations? At one point in the chat, she was explaining herself to him because he was upset with her. In another message, she was asking him how long he was going to keep ignoring her.

Why would an engaged woman be so concerned about another man ignoring her?

The most telling detail was finding their entire chat history archived in WhatsApp. She was hiding it. She told me she blocked him, but that was a lie. She archived the chats so they would not be easily seen.

From what I read, it seems this man has been sending her money and promising her gifts. They even have video calls together. I am trying hard not to imagine what happens when they see each other in person.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I have never been an overprotective or controlling boyfriend. I provide for her and give her what she asks for when I am able. So why would she lie about this one specific man? The way she talks to him, the time and energy in their conversation, is unlike anything she has with any other friend.

Could this be more than friendship?

I am supposed to marry this woman soon. But now, I do not know what to think or what to believe. My trust is broken.

—Bedihene

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#SB<>

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She’s the last child of our parents, and currently, my parents are too old and not financially sound, so she has become our responsibility. We are six children. I’m the eldest, and because I’m a woman, my parents sent her to live with me. She was with me from junior high school until she completed and went to SHS.

She came home for vacation, and I was in the kitchen cooking when I heard her talking angrily to someone on the phone. It was a money conversation. I heard her threatening the person, “If by evening you don’t send the money, I swear I will keep it. I’m not even interested in education again. I’d rather stay home and make babies.”

I was shocked and confused at the same time, but I played it cool so I wouldn’t scare the truth away from her. A few minutes later, the money landed on my phone, which she was using to make the call. The person sent GHC 1,500. She came to tell me, “Sis, someone has sent my money to your number. Can you withdraw it for me?”

I asked her, “Who sent you money? What work did you do for him that he sent you this much money?” She answered, “Oh, he’s a kind man who said he would help me anytime I needed help.” I asked where she met him and what she told him to make him send her that much money. She wasn’t forthcoming with information. So I burst the bubble, “Adwoa, are you pregnant? I heard everything you said on the phone.”

This time, she mellowed. She shook her head to tell me she wasn’t pregnant. I got angry. I screamed, “Do you think I’m a child you can deceive? Didn’t he send the money for you to get rid of it?” She fought back, “Nooo, that’s not what it is. I’m not pregnant, but I lied to him that I was so he would send me money.”

I stayed quiet for a while. “You’re only seventeen, and you’re sleeping around already? If you told him you were pregnant and he agreed to send you money, then it means he has done something with you.”

She stood there tapping her feet and said nothing. I took her to the hospital to check. I wanted to be sure. The test came back negative. It was true that she was lying for the money. I felt very disappointed that a girl her age had started dealing with men this way. So I took the person’s number to do my own investigation.

The man who sent the money was a teacher in her school. When I confronted her with what I’d found, she told the truth—that the man was indeed her teacher, and they started dating when she went to his house to deliver something and he said he liked her.

I don’t have money. I struggle to even save because of her. I won’t say I give her everything, but I give her enough to be content. Since she came to me, there has been no need I haven’t satisfied.

School was still on vacation when I held her hand and went to see the teacher she was dating. I warned him that the next time I got a hint that he was talking to my sister, I would report him to a higher authority to get him sacked. He thanked me and promised not to get close to her again.

If you think that was shocking, then wait for the next episode.

She’s back home from school. Because of what happened, anytime she’s around, I search for signs. Until yesterday, I found wonders.

She had a positive pregnancy test kit in her bag. She had tied it in a handkerchief and placed it at the side of her bag. You can imagine the shock when I saw it. I asked myself if it was new. I wondered if she was still carrying a pregnancy. I waved the test kit in her face and said, “Talk to me about this. Are you pregnant? You got pregnant and let it go? What is this doing in your bag?”

She said she had never been pregnant in her life and that she got the kit from a friend. I shouted, “For what? What do you need this for if it didn’t come from you?” She responded nasally, “I needed it to get money from someone.”

I collapsed onto the sofa. I felt deflated, like I had wasted my investment on a girl who didn’t want to do well in her own life.

“Who is this one too? Where did you meet him, and why are you even getting involved with men at your age, huh? Adwoa!”

Again, I held her hand and went straight to the person she was lying to, and guess what—the guy was a young pastor in a church she visited with the same friend who procured the pregnancy test kit for her. I asked the pastor, “So you were the one who got my sister ‘pregnant’? Your congregation will hear about this.”

Clearly, the pastor was my sister’s victim, according to the story he told, which my sister didn’t contest. My sister pushed to be friends with him and took his number. She even called to ask him to pray for her. Then one afternoon, she went to see the pastor and carried out an act of seduction to get him to do it. Just once, and a few weeks later, she called to tell him she was pregnant.

When he doubted it, she took a photo of the kit and sent it to him. The pastor sent her GHC 2,000 through MoMo.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

It was that day I got to know my sister had a hidden phone I didn’t know about. She used that line to carry out those operations. When we got home and I shouted at her to bring the phone, she took it from a box under her bed. There were four men she had sent the same photo of the pregnancy kit to. There was GHC 5,317 in her mobile wallet.

All this, and she still takes money from me. In a way, I’m also a victim of her smooth operations. She turned eighteen a few months ago, and she’s able to do all this. Brothers and sisters, what do you do with a sister like this?

—Afra

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******

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After North Carolina’s two largest medical providers halted gender-affirming care for patients below the age of 19, trans youth in the state are left with few options for treatment.

Ahead of a looming Trump administration crackdown on treatments like hormone replacement therapy—which substitutes sex-related hormones like estrogen or testosterone to physically transition patients’ bodies to align with their gender identity—for patients 18 and younger, Advocate Health and University of North Carolina Health have ended such gender-affirming care for anyone under 19.

“It’s very disappointing that they would do this,” said Ivy Johnson, an attorney with the ACLU of North Carolina. “It’s completely ignoring the fact that 18-year-olds are adults in this country, and I think it’s irresponsible to discontinue care for people who’ve already been under a certain course of treatment.”

The restrictions adopted by UNC Health and Advocate Health exceed a North Carolina law passed in 2023 over then-Gov. Roy Cooper’s veto that barred minors from receiving gender-affirming care, but exempted patients already undergoing treatment due to health risks associated with halting care.

Just eight days into his second term, President Donald Trump issued an executive order directing the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to crack down on medical interventions such as puberty blockers, hormone replacement therapy, and other treatments aimed at facilitating gender transition for patients under 19.

That manifested in December as a set of HHS regulations that would condition Medicare, Medicaid, and Children’s Health Insurance Program for hospitals on compliance with federal restrictions on gender-affirming care, among other measures intended to pressure health-care providers.

Now, trans youth in North Carolina who are not yet 19 will be forced to halt their care, find alternate providers in a state with dwindling options, or leave the state for treatment.

Heron Greenesmith, deputy director of policy at the Transgender Law Center, stressed that the proposed HHS restrictions are not set to take effect for months, and that hospitals choosing to end care early are doing so voluntarily. “Right now, there is no ban.”

“Pre-compliance has been a problem for trans-supporting, trans-inclusive organizations and agencies across the country, not just for trans-affirming care,” Greenesmith said. “It could be fear for funding or for retribution from the federal government.”

While federal opposition to gender-affirming care focuses on health risks of procedures—with Trump’s executive order warning that some recipients “will never be able to conceive children of their own or nurture their children through breastfeeding”—Johnson and Greenesmith both warned of complications from suddenly stopping gender-affirming care.

“You’ll have physical changes that can be rapid,” Greenesmith said. “The return of dysphoria is going to be a big impact and that obviously has mental health impacts, including an increased risk of suicidality and suicidal ideation, and then the other kind of emotional and mental health crises, anxiety, depression, PTSD.”

Advocate Health, which oversees state provider Atrium Health, implemented the restrictions in August. UNC Health began notifying patients in September that care would be discontinued, though no public announcement accompanied the policy shift. Both hospital systems have been connecting affected patients with support resources, including a newly established 24/7 hotline at Advocate aimed at providing counseling.

UNC Health spokesman Alan Wolf said in a statement that concerns over the federal regulatory environment prompted the decision to restrict care.

“UNC Health follows state and federal law related to medical services around gender transition. While state law limits these services to patients 18 and older, given the unsettled state of federal guidelines, last year we began limiting these services to individuals age 19 or older,” Wolf said. “UNC Health remains committed to caring and treating all patients.”

In comments to NC Health News last year, Advocate Health raised similar concerns: “This new policy allows our hospitals, clinics, and pharmacies to continue caring for all patients’ health needs in the changing federal environment.”

Duke Health, whose policy on gender-affirming care for minors remains unchanged according to their website, now has a several-months wait for those wishing to switch to their services.

“Due to increasing demand, we are currently booking new patient appointments several months out,” the page for the Duke Child and Adolescent Gender Care Clinic reads. “We are working on strategies to accommodate this increased demand. Thank you for your patience.”

Duke Health did not respond to multiple requests for comment on their gender-affirming care policies or whether patients who have lost access to care from other providers may receive expedited appointments.

The HHS restrictions are the subject of a federal lawsuit led by Oregon and joined by 18 other states, including the District of Columbia. At the state level, hospitals themselves are facing litigation. In Colorado, several families sued Children’s Hospital Colorado in state court over its suspension of gender-affirming care for minors, which has halted treatment for around 800 patients.

But North Carolina officials have declined to take action. Attorney General Jeff Jackson did not join the challenge to the administration’s policies, despite participating in a series of high-profile lawsuits against Trump executive actions last year, meaning state providers will not benefit from any injunction against the HHS restrictions.

North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services spokeswoman Summer Tonizzo said in a statement that “gender dysphoria care is not covered by any NC Medicaid plans,” citing the 2023 state law, when asked about the department’s response to hospital restrictions.

Johnson, the ACLU of North Carolina attorney, said she believes hospitals may be illegally discriminating against patients on the basis of sex by suspending gender-affirming care.

“This seems unconstitutional and dangerous on the part of these hospitals, whose functions are otherwise supposed to be to provide medically necessary care to their patients,” Johnson said. “I would encourage people to reach out to us.”

This story was originally reported by Brandon Kingdollar for NC Newsline. NC Newsline is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. NC Newsline maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Laura Leslie for questions: info@ncnewsline.com.

The post Trans Youth Under 19 Left With Few Options for Gender-Affirming Care in North Carolina appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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A series of shootings by federal immigration agents, including two deaths in Minneapolis, have galvanized intense local and national protests against the Trump administration’s immigration enforcement operations. Federal immigration agents in Minneapolis killed Renee Nicole Good—a 37-year-old woman and mother of three—and Alex Pretti, a 37-year-old nurse, weeks apart in January 2026.

\n\n\n\n

Since Donald Trump assumed the presidency on Jan. 20, 2025, Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents have detained thousands of people across the country, including U.S. citizens and legal residents. At least 11 people have been shot, including a Venezuelan migrant in Minneapolis on Jan. 14, 2026. Children and babies have been teargassed.

\n\n\n\n

I am a political scientist who studies authoritarian regimes. I also lived through Argentina’s brutal military junta of the 1970s and 1980s. When I consider today’s ICE violence, I think of the state terror that tore Argentina apart—and how mothers became a potent force in resisting authoritarianism and ultimately restoring democracy.

\n\n\n\n

Masked agents and the ‘Trump effect’

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U.S. federal immigration enforcement actions began raising human rights concerns starting in April 2025, when masked federal agents in plain clothes began detaining international students.

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Historically in the U.S., police and other official state security forces have used face coverings almost exclusively during undercover operations to protect agent safety and the integrity of ongoing investigations, according to federal law enforcement sources.

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The global human rights group Amnesty International has begun using the phrase “the Trump effect” to describe masking and other administration actions that it believes violate global human rights standards.

\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, violence by ICE agents also runs counter to international law—as does police violence more broadly.

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Several United Nations principles require that police action be guided at all times by legality, necessity, proportionality, and non-discrimination. Any use of force that does not comply with these principles violates international law.

\n\n\n\n

Amnesty International’s policing guidance is based on these standards. It explains that police must attempt to use non-violent means first, like verbal commands, negotiation, and warnings.

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When force is necessary, officers must use “the least harmful means likely to be effective.” In such cases, proportionality requires that “the harm caused by the use of force may never outweigh the damage it seeks to prevent.”

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Good’s and Pretti’s killings both occurred in broad daylight. Video analysis suggests that Good was attempting to turn her vehicle away from the scene when an ICE agent shot her three times. Pretti had a holstered weapon, but witnesses and videos show he had been disarmed before a federal agent fatally shot him.

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As non-immigrant local community members, neither victim would be the apparent target of immigration enforcement operations in Minneapolis.

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Argentina’s dictatorship

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In both its use of masks and its brazen disregard for proportionality, ICE evokes in me unsettling memories of all-powerful, authoritarian governments that exercise control over life and death.

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In March 1976, the Argentine armed forces overthrew a weak and chaotic government—that of María Estela Martínez de Perón, widow of Juan Domingo Perón—claiming the need to restore order in a country engulfed in political violence. So began one of the darkest periods in contemporary Argentine history.

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Between 1976 and 1983, approximat e ly 30,000 people were forcibly “disappeared,” meaning secretly kidnapped, never to be seen again. The vast majority were young men and women involved in labor unions, political organizations, or student movements with left-wing ideologies, including Catholic priests and nuns who embraced Liberation Theology, a movement within the church that interprets the gospel of Jesus Christ through the experiences of poor people and the oppressed.

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In April 1977, roughly a year after young Argentines first began vanishing, 14 women gathered in the Plaza de Mayo, a central square in Buenos Aires that faces the presidential palace. They were searching for their sons and daughters, who had been detained by the police or the military.

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Some of these arrests had taken place at night, in the homes where these young victims lived with their families. In those cases, the women — who would come to be known as the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo — knew their children had been taken by security forces. In other cases, their children had simply failed to return home. Nothing was known of their whereabouts. They had disappeared.

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Even those who had been detained at home had disappeared, too, as their location remained unknown.

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Later, the nation would learn that many of the regime’s victims were tortured, then flown in airplanes over the nearby River Plate and dropped into the water on so-called “death flights.” All this information was compiled in a 1984 report written during the first democratic government after military rule and published under the name “Nunca Mas”: Never again.

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The Mothers didn’t know that yet. They wanted their children back—alive.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Demonize, deny, discredit

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The dictatorship had imposed a state of siege prohibiting all forms of assembly. To technically evade this restriction, the Mothers walked in circles around the plaza, avoiding the concentration of people in any single location, demanding truth and justice.

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The regime reacted by systematically attempting to discredit the grieving women. To weaken their moral authority, state-controlled media labeled them as emotionally unstable “mad women.” The were called Las Locas de Plaza de Mayo instead of the Madres de Plaza de Mayo.

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Regime media also suggested the Mothers were political subversives with links to guerrilla groups and members of foreign organizations out to damage Argentina’s international reputation.

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Officials accused the women of exaggerating or inventing kidnappings, and sometimes mocked their ever-growing weekly marches. By attacking their credibility and dignity, the dictatorship sought to undermine public sympathy and maintain a climate of fear.

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At first, this narrative worked. Early in the dictatorship, many Argentines saw the Mothers with ambivalence, skepticism, or even fear. Others, while privately sympathetic, avoided expressing support due to fear of repression and social consequences.

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The government’s attacks were not only rhetorical. In 1977, three of the founding Mothers—Esther de Balestrino, Azucena Villaflor, and Mary Ponce de Bianco—disappeared when a group of military personnel stormed the Church of the Holy Cross in Buenos Aires. Twelve other people were abducted. None have ever been found.

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The Mothers received substantial support from abroad. International human rights organizations, foreign journalists, and religious institutions all played a crucial role in legitimizing their claims and broadcasting their struggle to the world.

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France, in particular, helped publicize the Mothers’ cause in Europe, which put diplomatic pressure on the Argentine regime. This international solidarity contributed significantly to breaking the dictatorship’s silence and exposing its crimes.

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Over time, as evidence of systematic forced disappearances became undeniable, public perception of the Mothers gradually shifted in Argentina, too. The Mothers came to be seen as a brave force for moral resistance.

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A democracy built in part by mothers

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In 1982, the military dictatorship invaded the South Atlantic islands known in Argentina as the Malvinas, or Falklands. The land has been British since 1833, but Argentina’s generals claimed sovereignty. Argentina was quickly defeated, and the military government fell.

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After democratic elections were held in October 1983, the Mothers continued their efforts to uncover the histories of their children, and to find and bury their remains. Many also started working to locate their grandchildren who had been born in captivity and illegally adopted after their parents were disappeared.

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Their dedication to recovering their loved ones exposed the full extent of the regime’s atrocities.

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In 1983, President Raúl Alfonsín, who re-established Argentine democracy, established the National Genetic Data Bank to identify kinship between the parents and children of the disappeared. Thousands of analyses were conducted on children suspected of being born in captivity and illegally adopted by military families.

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More than 120 grandchildren have since been identified.

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The Mothers and children of the disappeared have also played a fundamental role in convicting dozens of military officials for crimes against humanity. As direct witnesses to the long-term consequences of forced disappearance, they have repeatedly testified against military officials.

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The Mothers’ activism, which continues today, has helped sustain public pressure in Argentina for accountability and to transform private trauma into collective political action.

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The killings in Minneapolis inspired me to recount this story for a simple reason: The government can protect, condemn, or kill. Argentine history shows that it matters how society reacts to state terror.

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This story was produced in collaboration with The Conversation, a nonprofit newsroom dedicated to unlocking the knowledge of experts for the public good.

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The post Government Killings and Kidnappings in Argentina Drove Mothers to Revolt—And Eventually Win appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"do$ People claim pickup artistry doesn’t work for all sorts of reasons. Those reasons range from being clueless, to Dunning-Kruger, to social blind spots, to even being an ‘unconscious player’.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Pickup, Artist, Techniques, Actually, Work, Spoiler:, Yes, They, Do", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/pickup-artist-techniques-work-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/do-pickup-artist-techniques-actually-work-spoiler-yes-they-do", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 06:13:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148417", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everything You Need to Know About Chin Enhancement Surgery", "title_slug": "everything-you-need-to-know-about-chin-enhancement-surgery", "title_hash": "50bfc6cf5df223861473977776d0ea9c", "summary": "Why More and More Men Are Opting for Plastic Surgery to Enhance Their Jawlines", "content": "Though men may be notoriously more reluctant to divulge a history of or even an interest in plastic surgery, cosmetic procedures among males are on the rise. ABC’s Nightline recently delved into this trend, highlighting the changing faces of public figures such as Andy Cohen and Bradley Cooper, with the former admitting to Botox and the wider-eyed latter denying any work done altogether. \nRegardless of whether or not our favorite celebrities choose to be honest about their changing appearances, the numbers don’t lie: Nearly 1.6 million men went under the knife for cosmetic surgical procedures of the face in 2024, while over 28 million reaped the benefits of minimally invasive alternatives such as filler and skin resurfacing treatments. This data, as provided by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), also reveals a particular interest in chin augmentation.\n \nLarger chins and defined jawlines are often associated with more masculine features which, in turn, has been widely documented as a common trait among those in positions of wealth and power. As a result, many men have opted to imitate this look by eliminating their double chin, increasing projection and sharpness, or relying on a combination of both. \nAs one of the leading facial plastic surgeons in the country, Chicago-based Dr. Benjamin Caughlin, MD, FACS, of Many Faces of Chicago, has treated his fair share of chin-seeking male patients. The self-described “not your mom’s plastic surgeon” takes a more humorous and unorthodox, though educational approach to his clientele, often trending on social media with viral videos that not only delve into popular procedures, but also destigmatize the decision to partake in these personal and life-changing alterations.\nRELATED: How to Make Yourself More Dateable\n“My goal is to take hot people and make them just a little bit hotter,” he tells AskMen. “If you can grab a little confidence from the procedure and feel better, look better, play better—that’s what it’s all about.\n \n“Nobody needs this, but if you want it, we can do it right,” he adds. \nWe chatted with Dr. Caughlin to get his expert take on what men, in particular, are considering and ultimately doing after visiting his office.\n \n\nWho Is a Good Candidate for Chin Enhancement?\n \n\nPatients come from all walks of life and there is no ideal demographic, at least according to Caughlin.\n“I get probably 40% men and 60% female with a little trans population, as well,” he shares. “There's [also] gay, straight, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, old, young. That's the beauty of a jawline. Everybody likes a good jawline.”\n\nWhat to Consider Before Chin Enhancement Procedures\n \n\nIt’s important to keep in mind that everyone’s medical history and face anatomy are different. Individual goals will ultimately dictate a surgeon’s personalized recommendations and there is never a one-size-fits-all approach. \n“If you don’t like your jawline or neck, I have ways I can make it better,” stresses Caughlin. “We first do cephalometrics (the measurement of the head to analyze unique features such as craniofacial growth, nose to chin ratios, and skeletal patterns) and line things up. If you can tolerate projection, we give you projection. If it’s fat, we sculpt the fat. If it’s muscle, we tighten the muscle. If it’s skin, we can even tighten the skin.”\n \n“Many guys also don’t want to put up with a scar,” he shares. “I do my best to make that happen, but it’s very individualized. That’s really the key. There’s not a cookie-cutter approach to this type of stuff.” \n\nThe Most Popular Chin Enhancement Procedures\n\nWhile procedures will be customized and often performed in tandem, here is a breakdown of the most popular, their average cost per RealSelf, as well as Caughlin’s general thoughts on efficacy and who may be a good fit. \nKeep in mind that the above factors, especially price, will differ depending on the doctor’s unique approach, education, experience, and location. Additional fees such as general anesthesia, hospital costs, surgeon’s fees, pre-op tests, and even follow-up visits can also drastically increase the overall price.\n \nShould you decide to book a consultation with any plastic surgeon, request before and after photos and research their certifications to get a sense of what they are capable of. \nChin Implant\nAverage Cost: $5,175\nOften regarded as the gold standard in chin augmentation, a chin implant is a sculpted piece of material (typically silicone) that is inserted under the chin through a small incision and molded around the chin bone. They’re now also completely customizable and can come with wings that create additional volume to the sides of the chin.\n \n“Men can get away with more projections than women, typically,” adds Caughlin. “It's a little more masculine to have a projected mandible.” \nChin Liposuction\nAverage Cost: $3,275\nWhile this procedure will remove submental fat, most commonly known as a “double chin,” it won’t improve a recessive chin bone. This is, however, an ideal option for those who only want to permanently and quickly remove fat via a cannula and small incisions to yield a slimmer, more defined jawline.\n \n“Neck lipo is great for a young person with thick skin and a decent fat content,” says Caughlin. \nLower Facelift\n \nAverage Cost: $9,900\nGenerally recommended for older patients to combat facial aging, a lower facelift will aim to lift sagging skin along the entire neck and tighten the platysma muscle to eliminate what’s been dubbed as the “turkey neck.”\nCaughlin is generally not a fan of this procedure in younger patients, particularly the popular deep plane varieties that go deeper into the neck to release and reposition ligaments rather than just pulling the skin. \n“I think deep plane can be complicated for many people,” he argues. “There's probably a role—typically somebody over the age of 60 or 70 with thin skin, ptotic submandibular glands, and a widened muscle plane. I'm a little bit more of an anti-deep plane person, to be completely honest, but there's likely a role in the right person.”\nInstead, Caughlin looks to change the structure first or touts what he’s coined “the sneaky lift”: a specialized, minimally invasive procedure designed for middle-aged patients who have mild skin laxity but are not yet candidates for a full deep plane facelift. \nDermal Fillers\n \nAverage Cost: $1,175\nThe benefit of dermal fillers is that they’re not permanent, providing a temporary glimpse at what a larger jawline or chin may look like without committing to a surgery that requires downtime and a larger upfront payment.\n \nWhile popular hyaluronic acid-based fillers like Juvederm tend to be more inexpensive, versatile, and easier to dissolve, they don’t last as long as Radiesse (generally one year vs. two years). Radiesse contains calcium hydroxylapatite microspheres: a biocompatible substance that stimulates natural collagen production. \nNo matter the preference, annual or biannual maintenance alone can eventually exceed the cost of a permanent implant.\n \n“Filler is for the person who doesn't want surgery but can tolerate a little projection and volume,” advises Caughlin. “It's a great product for the right person, if done properly.” \nKybella\n \nAverage Cost: $1,261 \nKybella is an injectable treatment that uses synthetic deoxycholic acid to destroy fat cells under the chin. That said, results are often hard to predict and preceded by extreme swelling, and it can require multiple treatments before a patient is completely satisfied.\n \n“If you have just a little isolated fat pocket, Kybella can be effective,” says Caughlin. “It does take four to six treatments, and you still swell up each time.”\nSkin Rejuvenation Treatments\nAverage Cost: $225-$4,975 per treatment \nThough used primarily for tightening skin and not removing fat or increasing projection, the robust number of skin rejuvenation treatments (including lasers, microneedling, peels, ultrasound technology, and radiofrequency therapy) are encouraged for practically everyone at any stage of their adult life. \n \n“I think everybody can probably tolerate those at one point,” says Caughlin. “It just depends on the skin type, melanin content, and the level of outcome you want to get. But lasers are also great in the right hands and the right patient done properly.” \nMany plastic surgeons are also performing laser treatments in combination with surgical procedures, as numbed skin and/or anesthetized patients can withstand higher power levels and, as a result, reduce the number of future treatments and subsequent costs.\n \n\nKeep Your Chin Up\n \n\nShould you find yourself among the millions of men who are insecure about their chins or jawlines: fear not. There are plenty of treatment options to consider. \nThe first step is finding a medical professional that you can trust to offer their recommendations and tailor a plan to your unique goals and anatomy. Once you decide what is best, you’ll be well on your way to a face that would give Michelangelo’s David a run for his money.\nYou Might Also Dig: \nCan Chewing Gum Sharpen Your Jawline?The Cosmetic Treatments Most Popular With MenHow Botox Can Help Men Stop Sweating ", "keywords": "Everything, You, Need, Know, About, Chin, Enhancement, Surgery", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/everything-you-need-to-know-about-chin-enhancement-surgery/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1769192790.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/everything-you-need-to-know-about-chin-enhancement-surgery.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 06:13:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148415", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Cope With Hair Loss", "title_slug": "how-to-cope-with-hair-loss", "title_hash": "5486eab74822623b5683bffc2736795c", "summary": "Male Pattern Baldness May Take Your Hair But It Doesn't Have to Take Your Self-Esteem", "content": "At this point, it's no secret that male pattern baldness takes a serious psychological toll on men, and perhaps young men in particular. And since about 70% of men will lose hair with age, according to the Cleveland Clinic, it's a struggle most men are destined to experience at some point. \nIf you’re one of them and you’re struggling to come to terms with it, you’re not alone.\nA study on the psychosocial impact of hair loss among men revealed that losing hair caused 43% of respondents with hair loss to worry about losing an important part of personal attractiveness, while 21% of respondents with hair loss reported feelings of depression. These worries are fueling the growth of the global hair restoration services market, which is projected to reach $12,119.4 million by 2026, according to Allied Market Research.\nRELATED: Should You Shave Your Head? Here's What You Need to Know\n“Hair loss can affect men in a number of ways beyond the physical. For many men, hair loss can lead to lowered self-esteem and confidence. In a society that values youth and vigor, hair loss can be a hard thing to come to terms with,” says Dr. Cory Gaskins, a dermatologist and the resident medical expert at BestBotox. “It can make men feel less attractive and masculine. Hair loss can also be a source of great anxiety. Some men even avoid social situations altogether because they are so embarrassed by their hair loss. If you are a man struggling with hair loss, know that you are not alone.”\nPerhaps you’re looking into hair loss solutions, and that may help. But before Googling terms like Rogaine and PRP therapy, why not use your feelings about your hair as an invitation to gain a deeper level of self-love? You don’t have to love the fact that your hair is thinning, but maybe you can get to a place of acceptance you didn’t think was possible — and boost your mental well-being in the process.\n\nReflect on the Impact of Society on Your Body Image\n\nHair loss is a natural process for most men, yet most men feel terrible about it. That shame comes from unrealistic social ideals and their impact on self-image.\n“We are a society that highly values one’s physical appearance, and are simultaneously a society that fears and demonizes aging. As such, we place significant value and importance on our physical appearance and are conditioned to fear, fight and delay signs of aging in both men and women,” says life and confidence coach Savanna Schiavo. “Recognize the impossible standards society places on ‘maintaining youth’ and the expectations placed on both men and women. Reflect on the expectations of men and their appearances, and how hair loss relates to these unrealistic expectations,” adds Schiavo.\nThis is also a good time to get honest with yourself about how much value you’ve placed on your appearance. According to licensed psychologist Dr. Kristi K. Phillips, men who are very invested in their looks can have a particularly difficult time accepting hair loss.\n“When men start to lose their hair, they can have significant self-esteem issues related to how much they attribute their appearance to be an important part of their overall attractiveness and self-worth. Men who are very invested in looking young can have a particularly difficult time accepting hair loss, which can impact self-esteem negatively,” she says.\n\nConsider Who You Are Outside of Your Appearance\n\nFor that reason, it’s a good idea to take inventory of who you are beyond your looks. “If losing your hair feels like losing a part of your identity, map out who you are outside of your appearance,” recommends Schiavo. “How else would you define your identity if you couldn’t define it by looks? Consider what kind of person you are, and let yourself reflect on the aspects of your identity that never had to do with your physical appearance.”\nIt helps to surround yourself with people who support you, love you, and make you feel good about yourself no matter what, says Gaskins.\n\nGive Yourself Space to Feel Your Grief\n\nThat being said, even with all those perspective shifts and reflections, it’s normal to grieve the loss of your hair, and you should allow that grief to take place. “Give yourself space to grieve the vision of yourself that you have carried with you for years,” says Schiavo. “Allow for all of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.”\nShe also recommends processing your hair loss by looking at yourself in the mirror and looking at pictures of yourself even if it feels uncomfortable: “When we’re uncomfortable or insecure, our tendency is to avoid the cause of the discomfort. It then makes seeing ourselves in pictures or in the mirror feel much more triggering, because we haven’t had the chance to process and adapt to our physical changes.”\n\nTry Meditation and Positive Affirmations\n\nAccording to Gaskins, one of the best things you can do to cope with those physical changes is to meditate for a few minutes a day. “This can help clear your mind and allows you to focus on positive affirmations about yourself,” he says. Focus on mantras that anchor a positive belief you have about yourself, such as “I am amazing at what I do” or “I am perfectly imperfect.”\n\nFind New Things to Appreciate About Your Looks\n\nFinally, Schiavo also recommends focusing on the other things that you appreciate about your appearance. “When you look in the mirror, make it a practice to find one thing you enjoy about yourself. Do you like the way your teeth look when you smile? Can you notice the shape of your nose with admiration? What do you enjoy about your shoulders, or skin, or neck? This is a neurological rewiring process of learning to enjoy the way you look, even with hair loss.”\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Supplements for Hair Growth\n\tHow to Get Hair Loss Medicine Without a Doctor's Visit\n\tCan PRP Injections Treat Hair Loss? We Investigate", "keywords": "How, Cope, With, Hair, Loss", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/hair/how-to-cope-with-hair-loss/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1769457167.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/hair/how-to-cope-with-hair-loss.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 06:13:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148416", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Greens Powders to Supercharge Your Health", "title_slug": "best-greens-powders-to-supercharge-your-health", "title_hash": "59f4a2c15bd6c23a9e3850a93ab7fe70", "summary": "Cover Your Nutritional Bases & Supercharge Your Health With a Single Daily Supplement", "content": "“Eat your vegetables” — it’s one of the oldest and perhaps most obvious pieces of nutritional advice, and with good reason: a diet high in veggies can help reduce your risk of many chronic diseases (and leading causes of death). Yet only 9% of American adults manage to eat the recommended amount of veggies, according to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. \nEspecially men, it turns out, are slacking in this regard. Enter greens powders, which are chock-full of nutrient-dense vegetables like chlorella, spirulina, wheatgrass, spinach, barley sprouts, and kale. Are they a substitute for whole foods? No. But can they help you fill some nutritional gaps in your diet? Definitely.\nIn an ideal world, you'd get a dose of greens daily at your meals — say, by having a spinach salad at lunch, tossing some sprouts in your egg sandwich, or snacking on some kale chips. But if that doesn’t seem realistic, greens powders are a convenient alternative. Just toss them into your water bottle or add them to your smoothie and you’re good to go.\nThat said, not all greens powders are equally nutritious. According to registered dietitians, it’s worth taking a close look at the nutrition label to make sure a product offers all the health perks without any potential pitfalls.\nRELATED: The Benefits of Spore-Based Probiotics\nWith all that in mind, here’s what to know about how and why greens powders can be beneficial, what to look for when buying one, and some expert-recommended picks.\n\nHealth Benefits of Greens Powders\n\nAccording to Sherie Nelson, MBA, RDN, the Director of Wellness at Elior North America, greens powders should not be viewed as a replacement for whole foods.\n“They cannot mimic all the healthful properties found in whole foods, such as fiber and phytonutrients,” she explains. “Nutrients found in whole foods work synergistically to promote health and are often not replicated in powder form.”\nStill, there are some potential benefits to supplementing with these powders — particularly if you’re unable to eat a wide variety of veggies in your daily diet.\n“Green powders offer a simple and convenient way to enhance your nutritional intake,” says Wendimere Reilly, RDN, LDN, a member of Nature's Sunshine scientific advisory board. “Leafy greens and other green vegetables are a good source of chlorophyll, which according to research, is associated with brain health and improved cognitive function, and may even offer protection against neurodegenerative disorders. They are also high in antioxidants, dietary nitrates, vitamin K, magnesium, potassium, and folate which support cardiovascular health. If we want to repair and build, we need these nutrients at a cellular level.”\n\nShould You Take Greens Powders?\n\nSo, do you need a greens powder? That all comes down to your diet.\nIf you’re already consuming at least two to three servings of vegetables a day — and just as importantly, you’re able to eat a wide variety of veggies in your diet — you may already be meeting your nutritional needs. In that case, you probably don’t need a greens powder. But you may want to consider one if you:\nAre a picky eaterHave a tendency to eat the same veggies week after weekHave limited access to fresh produceGravitate towards only non-green vegetables like bell peppers, carrots, and cauliflower\n“The fact that many individuals don’t eat their greens daily doesn’t necessarily reflect a disregard for their nutritional value,\" says Reilly. “Let’s be real, our lives are hectic. Many simply lack the time or inclination to prepare and cook them. Moreover, taste and texture preferences are another potential barrier. Green powders provide a more realistic solution for some individuals.”\nDr. Christina Rahm MS, PhD, a scientific researcher who specializes in nutritional science, founder of DRC VENTURES, and Chief Science Officer at The ROOT Brands, also notes that people with digestive issues or restrictive diets (like low FODMAP) may find greens powders to be a helpful supplement.\n“With ingredients known for their detoxifying properties, greens powders can also support individuals seeking to aid their body's natural cleansing processes,” she adds. “However, it's crucial to choose a high-quality product and consult with a healthcare professional to ensure suitability, especially for those with specific health concerns or dietary restrictions.”\nRELATED: Best-Tasting Protein Powders\nKeep in mind, says Nelson, that greens powders will be most beneficial if you’re taking other steps to live a healthy lifestyle. That means drinking enough water, getting regular physical activity, and eating a balanced diet.\n\nTips for Using Greens Powders\n\nGreens powders can be added to plain old water — but if you can’t get past the earthy taste, consider adding them to smoothies and shakes.\n“One way is to mix them with flavored liquids like fruit juice or coconut water,” says Rahm. “Adding fresh or frozen fruit, nut butters, natural sweeteners, or yogurt can also improve the flavor and texture. Experimenting with spices, herbs, and flavor masks like vanilla extract can further enhance the taste. Additionally, adjusting the texture by adding ice cubes or oats can create a more satisfying drink.”\nPro tip: Fruits that are naturally high in sugar like pineapple, mango, and banana are more effective at covering up the bitterness of the greens.\nReilly also suggests adding greens powders to egg muffins — add a splash of lemon to help counteract the grassy flavor. They also blend well into homemade energy balls made with dates, oats, and nut butter. Or, sprinkle them into hummus, guac, oatmeal, or Greek yogurt bowls. \nIf you struggle to choke down a full beverage with greens powders, take a cue from Rahm and blend the powder with a small amount of orange juice for a quick and easy superfood shot.\n\nHow to Choose a Greens Powder\n\nWhen shopping for a greens powder, Ana Reisdorf, RD, founder of The Food Trends, recommends looking for a product that:\nContains no added sugar or very littleHas a wide variety of nutrient-dense ingredients, including dark leafy greens, algae, antioxidant-rich fruits, and other vegetablesIs free of artificial flavors, dyes, and other questionable additives\n“Try to find some that are more transparent with exactly what is in their product, rather than listing proprietary ‘blends,’” she tells AskMen. “Organic ingredients can also be a plus.”\nRahm also suggests opting for products that undergo rigorous testing for purity and potency — and ideally, that have transparent labeling to ensure product quality and integrity.\n“Look for a third-party certification or verification such as USP, NSF, or Consumer Labs,” says Nelson. “Green powders are a supplement and are regulated like other dietary supplements, which is not the same as the pharmaceutical industry. The FDA does not approve dietary supplements for safety and effectiveness, but a third party can provide some assurance that the product adheres to various safety and quality standards.”\nOne final tip: Reilly advises paying particular attention to the fiber. Ideally, the product should come from whole food sources like berries, flax seeds and chia seeds, barley, broccoli, and artichoke —rather than additives.\n\nBest Greens Powders\n\nGiven the advice from experts above, here are some of our favorite greens powders based on their nutritional content, taste, and overall quality.\nHuel Daily Greens\n\nCombining 91 superfoods, greens and essential nutrients into a single, easy-to-digest and delicious powder, available in four distinct flavor profiles (including Watermelon, Lemon & Ginger, and Peach & Passionfruit), Huel's Daily Greens manages to pack the maximum amount of green-based goodness into each serving without leaving you feeling like you've drank down blended grass. Every serving is also 100% vegan, free of artificial sweeteners, coloring agents, gluten and GMOs.\n$56.50 at Huel.com\nNature’s Sunshine Power Greens Wholefood Performance Supplement\n\n\nAccording to Reilly, this product contains four times more vegetables and fiber than many of the leading greens powders. She also notes that they require minimal mixing, dissolve super well in liquids, and even taste good with water alone.\n“These greens have two full servings of vegetables, 200+ plant-based nutrients, prebiotic fiber, enzymes, adaptogens, nootropics, and immune-boosting herbs,” she says. “My husband and I are avid stand-up paddleboarders and for a long day on the river we like the added nutritional boost.”\n$40 at NaturesSunshine.com \nAG1\n\nA list of the best greens powders wouldn’t be complete without AG1 — which, it’s worth noting, is backed by research and third-party tests. This multitasking supplement doesn’t just contain greens — it also boasts stress-fighting adaptogens, prebiotics and probiotics, digestive enzymes, and nutrients for immune and cognitive support. For added peace of mind, it’s also been tested for 950 contaminants and impurities like pesticides and heavy metals and is free from harmful levels of over 280 banned substances.\nThat might help to explain why it’s recommended by a slew of pro athletes and health experts, including Formula 1 champion Sir Lewis Hamilton, seven-time Olympic gold medalist Allyson Felix, and neuroscientist Andrew Huberman.\n$99 at DrinkAG1.com \nAlkamind Acid Kicking Greens\n\nThis greens powder comes from a line launched by Dr. Daryl Gioffre, a celebrity nutritionist who specializes in gut health and inflammation. So, it should come as no surprise that the focus here is on alkaline superfoods — like whole-leaf wheatgrass, spinach, broccoli, kale, and barley grass. Each scoop contains five servings of raw, organic greens. Better yet, there are no artificial flavors, soy, added sugar, or GMOs in this product. While there’s a raw, unflavored option, we love the citrus version — which is naturally flavored with real lemon, orange, and monk fruit extract. \n$44.95 at GetOffYourAcid.com \nThorne Daily Greens Plus\n\nThis greens powder is packed with 28 different powerhouse nutrients, including nutrient-dense greens like matcha, spirulina, and moringa; adaptogens to support a healthy stress response and adrenal function; an immune-boosting mushroom blend, and antioxidants to help protect the body from oxidative damage. \nWe recommend taking this in the morning — the added matcha leaf powder gives you a low dose (35 milligrams) of jitter-free caffeine for energy and focus.\n$72 at Thorne.com \nBloom Nutrition Greens & Superfoods\n\nIf you’re new to greens powders and concerned about whether or not you’ll be able to handle the — ahem, acquired taste — this one is a great one to start with because it comes in seven different flavors. (We’re partial to the mango, orange passion fruit, and strawberry kiwi, but coconut seems to be popular as well.)\nOdds are, you’ve probably come across this influencer-favorite product on TikTok or Instagram, and that’s not surprising when you consider that it contains five different organic greens, pre and probiotics, digestive enzymes, 10 antioxidant-rich fruits, and other plant extracts, and a fiber blend from whole foods like flaxseed and apple fruit powder. This product is also non-GMO, has no added sugar, and is naturally flavored and sweetened with stevia leaf extract.\n \nThe tubs are great for home use, but if you like to take your greens on the go, you can also opt for the convenient stick packs to keep in your work bag, gym bag, office desk, or car.\n \nFrom $39.99 at BloomNu.com \nKroma Wellness Supergreens Elixir\n\nKroma Wellness is a brand you can trust — the company prides itself on keeping added sugar, artificial flavors, fillers, GMOs, and gluten out of their products. Better yet, all the ingredients are organic whenever possible. Their greens powder is no exception here: it offers more than 20 plant-based ingredients with a whopping 81 functional nutrients to support your energy and metabolism. In addition to the fruits and veggies; adaptogenic mushrooms, roots, and herbs; this powder also contains digestive enzymes and dairy-free probiotics. \nAnother factor that sets this product apart is the inclusion of chocho plant protein, which provides all nine essential amino acids and supports lean muscle growth.\nDid we mention it has a surprisingly pleasant pineapple-meets-vanilla flavor?\n$75 at KromaWellness.com \nROOT Wellness ReLive Greens\n\nThere are no suspicious ingredients in sight on the label for this potent greens powder, which is third-party certified by the Banned Substances Control Group — meaning it’s been tested for heavy metals, pesticides, and other harmful substances.\nIn addition to nutritious greens like wheat grass, barley grass, spirulina, chlorella, broccoli, kale, and alfalfa leaf, the formula also contains blueberry powder and pomegranate seed powder — which are chock full of antioxidants — prebiotic/probiotic strains to support the microbiome, and fiber-rich green banana powder and psyllium husk powder.\n$79 at TheRootBrands.com \nSolluna Glowing Greens Powder\n\nSolluna is a wellness brand founded by Kimberly Snyder, a nutritionist who’s worked with a slew of celebs — including Channing Tatum. Snyder was blending up green juices way before it was popular, and the newest Solluna product is inspired by her ever-popular Glowing Green Smoothie recipe — which, by the way, has been enjoyed by Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, and other health-conscious A-listers. (If that’s not an endorsement, we don’t know what is.)\nThe recently launched greens powder offers beneficial amounts of seven different essential ingredients, including moringa, which is high in cell-protective phytochemicals and vitamins A, B, and C; amalaki, a superfruit and Ayurvedic herb with adaptogenic properties; and ashitaba, an herb that offers vitamins E and K as well as trace minerals. It’s 100% vegan, sweetened with monk fruit, and free of any shady artificial additives.\n$47 at MySolluna.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\nWhy Liposomal Supplements Are the Way of the FutureVitamin Buying Guide: What Men Need to KnowWhat Is a Green Mediterranean Diet and Should You Try It?", "keywords": "Best, Greens, Powders, Supercharge, Your, Health", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/best-greens-powders-to-supercharge-your-health/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1769451279.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/best-greens-powders-to-supercharge-your-health.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 06:13:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148204", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Called Me a Curse and I Haven’t Been the Same Since", "title_slug": "my-wife-called-me-a-curse-and-i-havent-been-the-same-since", "title_hash": "e7cd2c45209626575a9bb2668f3623cd", "summary": "Married life has been difficult for some time now. My wife gets angry easily, and I understand her. It’s not her fault, and I won’t also say it’s totally my …", "content": "

Married life has been difficult for some time now. My wife gets angry easily, and I understand her. It’s not her fault, and I won’t also say it’s totally my fault. Life happened, and I lost a great job. What I have currently isn’t great. The salary is small, and I can go for two months without being paid. When they finally decide to pay, they give us half and hope that the other half comes before we eventually die.

My wife knows this, but when she needs something and I’m not able to provide, or I ask her to be patient, she throws a fit and acts like the world is coming to an end. She picks fights when we only need to talk. She talks at the top of her voice when a whisper would have sufficed. She won’t talk to me for hours and coils within herself.

As I said, it’s not her fault. Life used to be better than this, and I’m also the one who brought us to this point. If I hadn’t done what I did to lose that job, this family would have been better off.

All the times my wife has been angry, she never said anything that hurt my heart as much as what she said to me a few days ago. After the usual fight over money, she walked past me and said, “My greatest mistake in life is marrying a man like you. A curse is better than this if this is the kind of life we are going to live for the rest of our lives.”

I’m not a bad person, ooo. I’m not a bad husband like that. Even as a father, I go beyond myself, but because I don’t support it with money, my efforts are usually not seen. What she said hurt me so much that I don’t want to do anything except walk out of the door and not come back again. For the first time in our marriage, she isn’t talking to me, and I’m not making any effort to get her to talk to me.

I sleep in the hall, where I can think without her snores. I wake up, dress up, and go to work, which, regardless of everything, still feels more like home than the place I call home. I thought time would fade the pain, but it still hurts, and all I think about is leaving the marriage. Maybe there’s a place better for her than with me, so she should go and find that place. Or maybe when I’m gone, the curse will be lifted so she can have a better life.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

It’s 9 p.m., and I’m still in the office writing this. The security man just walked in to ask if I’m not going home today. I wish I could tell him there’s no home for me. I’ll go today, but one day, I might not go again. Me? Worse than a curse? SMH.

—Ebo

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", "keywords": ", Wife, Called, Curse, and, Haven’t, Been, the, Same, Since", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/118999.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-called-me-a-curse-and-i-havent-been-the-same-since/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 04:23:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148203", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Would You Continue to Stay Married If Your Wife Said This About You to Her Friend?", "title_slug": "would-you-continue-to-stay-married-if-your-wife-said-this-about-you-to-her-friend", "title_hash": "57b0b4f9ba6afd22f27f0a6ba533ed25", "summary": "I saw my wife in June 2023. In August 2024, we were married. She was thirty-one when we met, and she made it clear what she wanted in a relationship …", "content": "

I saw my wife in June 2023. In August 2024, we were married. She was thirty-one when we met, and she made it clear what she wanted in a relationship even before she said yes to me. She told me she didn’t have time to date for long, so it was better I knew what I wanted in a woman so she could see if she could provide that.

I was blunt with her, “I’m not looking for something extraordinary. I need a woman who can be a companion in every shape of the word and who also understands what it takes to be a wife.”

When we dated, there was something I found genuine about the way she lived her life. She didn’t stay angry for long. She talked about it and asked, “I hope you understand what I’m saying, or I’m asking too much?” Immediately I said I understood, she moved forward and was fine. The few times I said I didn’t understand, she told me, “Tell me where you don’t understand. Let me explain, or tell me how you can make things better going forward.”

You see, she was up there when it came to emotional intelligence. And she was ready to walk through every problem, so I said to myself, “What am I waiting for? Why don’t I make her a wife?”

Four months after dating, I said I was going to marry her. She told me, “Isn’t it too early to think about marriage?” I answered, “When you see what you want in a woman, you don’t waste time.”

I took her home to meet my old folks. They congratulated her for making me bring a woman home. My parents had been on me for so long about marriage, but I always told them I hadn’t found the right woman and didn’t want to do marriage more than once, so it was better I took my time.

On the 31st of August, 2024, we both walked the aisle in a wedding that she said was the happiest day of her life, and I also said the same thing. Our marital journey was smooth. I didn’t experience anything I didn’t expect to experience in marriage. Today we would laugh and play; tomorrow, when we ought to fight, we put all the anger cards on the table so we could assess it and know how to resolve the issues. As a matter of principle, we don’t go to bed angry.

Not long ago, I picked her phone just to do nothing with it. I was just scrolling through her photos and moving around inside the phone because I was bored. When I saw the WhatsApp app, I said to myself, “Let me check and see how she’s living her life with friends.”

I didn’t read any messages between herself and a man. I was going through the girls-girls messages because I knew that was where the gossip would be. Then I got to a name she had saved as Rose. What made me read the message was that I didn’t know she had a friend called Rose. I was like, “Who is this one too, and what are they saying?”

The messages between them were very few. The lady obviously wasn’t in Ghana, and looking at what they said before they entered the crust of the chat, they hadn’t met in ages, but they were very good friends when Rose was in Ghana. Rose said, “And you married a fair man. You who rejected Akwesi because he was fair. What changed?”

I was expecting her to say she grew to realize that the complexion of a man didn’t matter, but it was the complexion of his heart that made the difference. Even if not that, I expected her to say something good about me—the reason she changed her stance on dating fair guys—but my wife said, and I’m quoting this because every line of what she said is stuck in my memory and creating a painful hole in my heart, “Oh, this one, I married him because there was none available, ooo. All the girls were getting married, and I was growing old, so I couldn’t afford to be picky.”

Rose sent laughing emojis and later said, “But that’s dangerous. I hope you don’t regret the choice. He’s a good man, right?”

My wife responded, “What can we do? I’m only managing. He’s all that I have, but if you get a dark one in the UK, please link me. Who knows, my soulmate might be in the UK.”

Rose sent “hahahah” and said, “You can’t be serious.”

My wife replied, “Get the man first for me, and let’s see if I’m serious or not.”

Rose also shared the story of her own marriage in the UK. She said the way my wife was feeling was normal, and choosing me was a smart move because she also married a guy she wouldn’t have looked twice at if they had met in Ghana. She married him because in the UK, men were scarce and living alone was expensive, so she had to marry anyone who was ready so life could be easier. She even told my wife there was a guy she was crushing on.

My wife saw me with her phone and didn’t bother. Those messages were months old, so maybe she had forgotten about them. I asked her, “Do you mean everything you said to Rose about me?”

She asked, “What?”

I gave her the phone, and her face changed. She asked, “But why would you go that far in my messages? What were you looking for?”

We don’t go to bed angry, so I needed to resolve the issue before sunset. I repeated my question twice. I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t showing any sign of hurt on my face when I asked the questions. She said, “We were just fooling around. This is just girls-girls gossip. You can’t take it seriously.”

We analyzed what she said one after the other. The more she tried to explain the intention behind those words, the more I got angry. She didn’t have any explanation apart from, “It was girls-girls talk.”

We don’t go to bed angry, but since I read those messages and the conversation afterward, I’ve been very angry. I feel very small, but I’m taller than her. I feel I’m in a place where, anytime soon, I would be left alone. I’m not the choice a woman makes because it’s the right choice, but a choice she makes because there was nothing left on the table for her.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I think about it, and I want to disappear. She has apologized and accepted that she went too far, but it doesn’t erase the feelings I have in my gut. I don’t know for how long, but I don’t think I will ever be happy in this marriage, knowing I was just an afterthought. I haven’t discussed this with anyone because it’s not a pleasant thing to let anyone know, but I want the opinions of others too, so I’m putting it here anonymously. How would you feel if your wife said this about you? What would you do going forward in such a marriage?

—Paa Kow

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", "keywords": "Would, You, Continue, Stay, Married, Your, Wife, Said, This, About, You, Her, Friend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/7044.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/would-you-continue-to-stay-married-if-your-wife-said-this-about-you-to-her-friend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 04:23:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148202", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband’s Girlfriend Called Me and I Chose Silence", "title_slug": "my-husbands-girlfriend-called-me-and-i-chose-silence", "title_hash": "f0dfdf1d2c0e4b0353939020ece32984", "summary": "My husband’s girlfriend contacted me. She said she wanted me to know what my husband was doing behind my back. She said she wasn’t the only girl and that currently, …", "content": "

My husband’s girlfriend contacted me. She said she wanted me to know what my husband was doing behind my back. She said she wasn’t the only girl and that currently, there was another girl who was pregnant for him. She found out about it on his phone, so she was telling me to be careful. I asked her, “Do you care this much about me? And you went ahead to date my husband?” She replied, “I didn’t know he was married from the start, but that doesn’t matter. Just be careful.”

When my husband came, I told him, “Tell your girlfriends to stop calling me. If they don’t know their boundaries, teach them, especially the one you got pregnant.”

I wasn’t angry. I said it casually, like the way you would talk to a friend who is messing up. He shrank suddenly, and since then, he has been apologizing to me, telling me the devil came over him. I asked what he was going to do about the one who was pregnant, and he answered, “I don’t believe I’m the one responsible. She has another man.”

I’m not fighting him. I’m rather fighting against myself. I’m not surprised this is happening. I’ve always known it, talked about it, and fought about it, but he always denied the truth.

Now that the truth is on my lap, I know what to do, and it’s going to be very silent. When our girl is on vacation, I’ll leave with her and go to a place I’m renting very soon. He wouldn’t even know where I am to come and apologize. I’ll tell my dad to send the drink back to my husband’s family because our marriage is over.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I know if I try anything right now, it will be loud. Families will meet and tell me not to leave. Respectable people will decide for me and tell me he has regretted it, so I should forgive him. That’s too loud and too hectic. I don’t want to go through all that. I’m a peaceful woman, and I want to maintain that, even through the divorce process.

—Maame Bee

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", "keywords": ", Husband’s, Girlfriend, Called, and, Chose, Silence", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/106242.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-husbands-girlfriend-called-me-and-i-chose-silence/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 04:23:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "148201", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Happened With a Pastor Years Ago Is Still Ruining My Sister’s Love Life", "title_slug": "what-happened-with-a-pastor-years-ago-is-still-ruining-my-sisters-love-life", "title_hash": "7ed926d805a7c91f015b2043bdeebd3c", "summary": "As a sister, I have done my part, but I cannot carry it anymore, and that is why I am here. For my sister, Yaa. My sister is one of …", "content": "

As a sister, I have done my part, but I cannot carry it anymore, and that is why I am here. For my sister, Yaa. My sister is one of the most beautiful girls I know, and I am not just saying that because she is my sister. I am utterly stating the truth. She is so talented that I can only envy her, envy her strength and her grit.

I am here because of her, because I understand that reality hit her as early as it could, and our family didn’t try to shield her from it. Sometimes it gets to a point where you do not blame your parents for how your life turns out, but if you know how much your foundation affects you in the most fundamental way… it is almost like, I brought you into this life, now it is your turn to make a life for yourself. That was how it was.

A pastor assaulted her. She and my mom had gone to him for prayers for healing, and that is how it happened. He told her that if she told anyone, he would come for her. So, she kept it a secret until she couldn’t anymore. When we finally decided to let the cat out of the bag, it was hard. My mom cried. We cried. She says that is the reason her life has turned out the way it is.

Most dawns, I can hear her cry. She says she is mourning her life, the life she lost. My sister is not a harlot. It is just unfortunate that the men she comes across are not serious with her. They just come and go. Some do not go well. Some leave as early as two months. She is doing very well for herself. She works, lives alone, and earns her own money. But that is not the mentality of the men she meets. Some even take advantage of her because of her kindness and good heart. I can beat my chest and write a book about her. My sister is so kind, has a good heart, and loves all, but her relationship life is so terrible.

People say she is young and should wait, but she is battling with fertility issues. She has never gotten pregnant and has those never-ending menstrual problems, although she is seeking medical attention. But how long should she wait to settle?

I know it is not her fault. I have been assuring her to forget about the past, pray, and move on. Before you come for my mum, she is a single mum who has been the best mother. Because of her hard work, we are all okay in life. She nurtures us, although she is not fully aware of all this. She sits us down, talks to us about life and men, but we are not bold enough to tell her everything.

We were having a conversation and she told me she thinks it is because of what the pastor did to her that is causing all this, because she cannot seem to make sense of it any other way. Now she does not want to hear anything about men. She has even told my mom to forget about her settling down and having a family of her own. She says she will just try IVF when she is ready, if it is even possible with her fertility issues, or maybe just relocate abroad.

As a sister, I am deeply worried. This whole issue has turned her into something else. She detests men, hates them now because she thinks they are all the same. Every time she decides to try, it backfires. Now she labels herself: one woman, a thousand men. And it breaks my heart for her.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

We have tried everything. We talk to each other. We have gone to God. We join all the online prayers you know of, but to no avail. I do not understand the kind of guilt eating her soul up. Maybe I am not in her shoes.

Kindly advise Yaa as a daughter, a sister, a friend.

—Sedi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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She was going through a divorce when we met. She was broken. She said she married a man she didn’t have any business marrying. Some days she cried in my arms. Other times, she would call me in the evening and ask me to meet her somewhere because she needed a place to cool off her head. One day, we kissed in her car, and it became a relationship.

What was not working in her marriage?

She said her husband didn’t contribute financially in the house because he thought she had money. She was earning more than her husband, but she didn’t think all the financial burden should be on her. So they fought about almost everything, all because the man wouldn’t support her financially.

That aside, she was the one doing all the domestic chores while her husband sat on the couch and farted. So she stopped giving him sex and sought that from me. She stopped cooking and bought food from outside and ate alone. They had a daughter. She was the only one she cared about.

When we met, she talked about divorce but hadn’t initiated it. We were a couple of months into our relationship when she told me she had initiated the divorce and they were going through it. I asked why the man was still living with her, because she had told me the house belonged to her. She answered, “We are not enemies, so he can stay there until he gets his own place.”

The divorce dragged on for over a year. We were still together, building a relationship that would last. I had come to love her so deeply that I started getting jealous because her ex was still there. She told me, “He’s the father of my daughter. I can’t push him into the street. Let him take all the time he wants, but one day he will leave.”

Then she got pregnant. I thought the pregnancy was for me because she had told me she hadn’t been intimate with her husband for ages. I asked what she was going to do, and she told me point blank, “I can’t have it.” I thought it was because the divorce wasn’t finalized, but when I asked why, she said, “Because I don’t know if it’s yours or his.”

I screamed, “So you lied when you said you were not doing it with him?”
\nShe answered, “I didn’t lie entirely. One of those days, he sneaked up on me. I didn’t want him to get violent, so I gave it to him. And remember, he’s not the one leaving me. I’m the one forcing my way out of the marriage because he wouldn’t raise a finger financially.”

I was very hurt and decided to leave the relationship. I didn’t tell her, but I was leaving. I stopped calling. When she said we should meet somewhere so she could cool her head, I gave her excuses. I was sick and tired of being used for cruise. She got the message and decided to talk about it. She apologized and told me she took me seriously, but life happens, so I should forgive her.

A couple of months after getting rid of the pregnancy, she got the divorce she wanted. By then, the man had gotten a new place and was moving, though I thought the way he was moving out was too slow. Eventually, he left. Naturally, I was supposed to take his place. Anytime I wanted to visit her, she used her daughter as a shield: “She’s too young. She shouldn’t see her father replaced this way.”

We kept meeting outside, or she would come to my place. I asked about the way forward for us, and she assured me it was just a matter of time and then we would get married. I was hopeful. I placed all my plans aside, waiting for my time to love a woman I had loved in the dark in the light.

Then she traveled to South Africa once and spent three weeks there. We talked every day on the phone and made plans, but her attitude toward me changed when she came back to Ghana. She wouldn’t call unless I called. She would cancel little plans about our happiness. She said it was about work and motherhood. I even said I would move in with her so I could help with her daughter. She said no.

She traveled to South Africa again and sent me a message that she was getting married. I thought my eyes were not seeing well. “Getting married to who? How about me? Like how?” All she said was sorry and later talked about my age as the reason she couldn’t think of marrying me. She is only four years older than me, but I’m taller and bigger, so you wouldn’t know.

Just last December, she got married in South Africa to a South African white man and hasn’t returned since. I have been nursing this heartbreak and pain, but the more I apply balm to numb the pain, the more it grows out of the soil as if the balm is water. I want to move on, but it’s not easy. I didn’t see Christmas. I stayed indoors throughout. Nothing made sense. I feel used. I feel pain in all my joints, as if those were the places love emanates from. I throw up even when I haven’t eaten anything.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

Some days, I want to do something to hurt her so she feels the pain I’m going through. I wrote a long message and called our relationship an abuse of my emotions and a blatant waste of my love and time. I wanted to send it to her on her wedding day. I couldn’t. I saved it in my drafts, and it’s still there. Where do people like me go for healing? I think of dark things these days, but I’m a man. I ought to be stronger, right?

—Jackson

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Helped, Her, Survive, Divorce, But, She, Repaid, With, Marriage, Another, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/worried-man-sitting-sofa-with-hand-forehead-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-helped-her-survive-divorce-but-she-repaid-me-with-marriage-to-another-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-28 04:23:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147941", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Native Americans Are Dying From Pregnancy. They Want a Voice To Stop the Trend.", "title_slug": "native-americans-are-dying-from-pregnancy-they-want-a-voice-to-stop-the-trend", "title_hash": "9e09ffd4212c97d59221994d90dd8754", "summary": "State and federal officials are working with Native American groups to better track and address pregnancy-related deaths in their communities through maternal mortality review boards.\nThe post Native Americans Are Dying From Pregnancy. They Want a Voice To Stop the Trend. appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Just hours after Rhonda Swaney left a prenatal appointment for her first pregnancy, she felt severe pain in her stomach and started vomiting.

Then 25 years old and six months pregnant, she drove herself to the emergency room in Ronan, Montana, on the Flathead Indian Reservation, where an ambulance transferred her to a larger hospital 60 miles away in Missoula. Once she arrived, the staff couldn’t detect her baby’s heartbeat. Swaney began to bleed heavily. She delivered a stillborn baby and was hospitalized for several days. At one point, doctors told her to call her family. They didn’t expect her to survive.

“It certainly changed my life—the experience—but my life has not been a bad life,” she told KFF Health News.

Though her experiences were nearly 50 years ago, Swaney, a member of the Confederated Salish and Kootenai Tribes, said Native Americans continue to receive inadequate maternal care. The data appears to support that belief.

In 2024, the most recent year for which data for the population is available, Native American and Alaska Native people had the highest pregnancy-related mortality ratio among major demographic groups, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

In response to this disparity, Native organizations, the CDC, and some states are working to boost tribal participation in state maternal mortality review committees to better track and address pregnancy-related deaths in their communities. Native organizations are also considering ways tribes could create their own committees.

State maternal mortality review committees investigate deaths that occur during pregnancy or within a year after pregnancy, analyze data, and issue policy recommendations to lower death rates.

According to 2021 CDC data, compiled from 46 maternal mortality review committees, 87 percent of maternal deaths in the U.S. were deemed preventable. Committees reported that most, if not all , deaths among Native American and Alaska Native people were considered preventable.

State committees have received federal money through the Preventing Maternal Deaths Act, which President Donald Trump signed in 2018.

But the money is scheduled to dry up on Jan. 31, when the short-term spending bill that ended the government shutdown expires.

Funding for the committees is included in the Labor, Health and Human Services, Education, and Related Agencies appropriations bill for fiscal year 2026. That bill must be approved by the House, Senate, and president to take effect.

Native American leaders said including members of their communities in maternal mortality review committee activities is an important step in addressing mortality disparities.

In 2023, tribal leaders and federal officials met to discuss four models: a mortality review committee for each tribe, a committee for each of the 12 Indian Health Service administrative regions, a national committee to review all Native American maternal deaths, and the addition of Native American subcommittees to state committees.

Whatever the model, tribal sovereignty, experience, and traditional knowledge are important factors, said Kim Moore-Salas, a co-chair of the Arizona Maternal Mortality Review Committee. She’s also the chairperson of the panel’s American Indian/Alaska Native mortality review subcommittee and a member of the Navajo Nation.

“Our matriarchs, our moms, are what carries a nation forward,” she said.

Mental health conditions and infection were the leading underlying causes of pregnancy-related death among Native American and Alaska Native women as of 2021, according to the CDC report analyzing data from 46 states.

The CDC found an estimated 68 percent of pregnancy-related deaths among Native American and Alaska Native people happened within a week of delivery to a year postpartum. The majority of those happened between 43 days and a year after birth.

The federal government has a responsibility under signed treaties to provide health care to the 575 federally recognized tribes in the U.S. through the Indian Health Service. Tribal members can receive limited services at no cost, but the agency is underfunded and understaffed.

A study published in 2024 that analyzed data from 2016 to 2020 found that approximately 75 percent of Native American and Alaska Native pregnant people didn’t have access to care through the Indian Health Service around the time of giving birth, meaning many likely sought care elsewhere. More than 90 percent of Native American and Alaska Native births occur outside of IHS facilities, according to the agency. For those who did deliver at IHS facilities, a 2020 report from the Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Inspector General found that 56 percent of labor and delivery patients received care that did not follow national clinical guidelines.

The 2024 study’s authors also found that members of the population were less likely to have stable insurance coverage and more likely to have a lapse in coverage during the period close to birth than non-Hispanic white people.

Cindy Gamble, who is Tlingit and a tribal community health consultant for the American Indian Health Commission in Washington, has been a member of the state’s maternal mortality review panel for about eight years. In the time she’s been on the state panel, she said, its composition has broadened to include more people of color and community members.

The panel also began to include suicide, overdose, and homicide deaths in its data analysis and added racism and discrimination to the risk factors considered during its case review process.

Solutions need to be tailored to the tribe’s identity and needs, Gamble said.

“It’s not a one-size-fits-all,” Gamble said, “because of all the beliefs and different cultures and languages that different tribes have.”

Gamble’s tenure on the state committee is distinctive. Few states have tribal representation on maternal mortality review committees, according to the National Indian Health Board, a nonprofit organization that advocates for tribal health.

The National Council of Urban Indian Health is also working to increase the participation of Urban Indian health organizations, which provide care for Native American people who live outside of reservations, in state maternal mortality review processes. As of 2025, the council had connected Urban Indian health organizations to state review committees in California, Kansas, Oklahoma, and South Dakota.

Native leaders such as Moore-Salas find the current efforts encouraging.

“It shows that state and tribes can work together,” she said.

In March 2024, Moore-Salas became the first Native American co-chair of Arizona’s Maternal Mortality Review Committee. In 2025 she and other Native American members of the committee developed guidelines for the American Indian/Alaska Native subcommittee and reviewed the group’s first cases.

The subcommittee is exploring ways to make the data collection and analysis process more culturally relevant to their population, Moore-Salas said.

But it takes time for policy changes to create widespread change in the health of a population, Gamble said. Despite efforts around the country, other factors may hinder the pace of progress. For example, maternity care deserts are growing nationally, caused by rapid hospital and labor and delivery unit closures. Health experts have raised concerns that upcoming cuts to Medicaid will hasten these closures.

Despite her experience and the ongoing crisis among Native American and Alaska Native people, Swaney hopes for change.

She had a second complicated pregnancy soon after her stillbirth. She went into labor about three months early, and the doctors said her son wouldn’t live to the next morning. But he did, and he was transferred about 525 miles away from Missoula to the nearest advanced neonatal unit, in Salt Lake City.

Her son, Kelly Camel, is now 48. He has severe cerebral palsy and profound deafness. He lives alone but has caregivers to help with cooking and other tasks, said Swaney, 73.

He “has a good sense of humor. He’s kind to other people. We couldn’t ask for a more complete child.”

KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues and is one of the core operating programs at KFF—an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. Learn more about KFF.

This article first appeared on KFF Health News and is republished here under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

The post Native Americans Are Dying From Pregnancy. They Want a Voice To Stop the Trend. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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\n\n\n\n

This story was originally reported by Amanda Becker of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group’s partnership with The 19th News Network

\n\n\n\n

A transgender worker is repeatedly and intentionally misgendered by their coworker. A workplace bars an employee from using facilities that match their gender identity. A supervisor suggests a transgender subordinate shouldn’t be in public-facing work.

\n\n\n\n

Going forward, it will be more difficult, timely, and costly for LGBTQ+ workers to seek justice for these and other workplace harassment issues related to their gender identities and sexualities.

\n\n\n\n

The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, or EEOC, on Jan. 22, 2026 voted 2-to-1 to rescind years-in-the-making guidance that the agency released in 2024 on applying current civil rights laws to workplace harassment. The 200-page document included more than 75 examples of harassment scenarios that employers might encounter and explained the agency’s thinking.

\n\n\n\n

The EEOC’s move to toss the guidance out will be most immediately felt by LGBTQ+ workers, experts told The 19th, but it will also have broader implications for anyone who experiences harassment related to their gender, race or ethnicity while they’re at work—and for employers trying to comply with the underlying law.

\n\n\n\n

“One of the main services that the EEOC provides to employees is a free investigation and a free resolution of their complaint,” explained Chai Feldblum, who served as one of the civil rights agency’s five commissioners during the Obama administration and into the beginning of President Donald Trump’s first term.

\n\n\n\n

“But we should not conflate the EEOC rescinding guidance with rescinding the law that’s in place. Even though it does not change the law, it will still have an adverse, tangible, harmful effect on LGBTQ+ employees, because it will be expensive and time consuming” to pursue these cases in court, she added.

\n\n\n\n

In the earliest days of his second White House term, Trump fired two of the three Democratic EEOC commissioners before their terms ended—a first by a president in the agency’s 60-year history. He elevated Andrea Lucas, who had served on the commission since the end of his first term, to chair the agency on an interim basis. Without a quorum, the EEOC was limited in what it could do, though Lucas signaled early on that one of her top priorities was impeding the ability for gender-diverse people to lodge harassment complaints. Lucas was confirmed as chair in July, and then Trump pick Brittany Bull Panuccio was confirmed in October. Kalpana Kotagal is the only remaining Democratic commissioner.

\n\n\n\n

Once a quorum was in place, the EEOC announced that it would meet to consider rescinding the 2024 guidance, which Lucas said protected LGBTQ+ people at the expense of women. The agency developed much of the guidance related to LGBTQ+ workers—and the examples of how employers should apply it—after the Supreme Court’s 2020 decision in Bostock v. Clayton County, a landmark ruling that found the Civil Rights Act of 1964 protected workers from discrimination on the basis of their gender identity or sexuality.

\n\n\n\n

“Women’s sex-based rights in the workplace are under attack—and from the EEOC, the very federal agency charged with protecting women from sexual harassment and sex-based discrimination at work,” Lucas wrote at the time the guidance was released.

\n\n\n\n

In December, Lucas released a video in which she urged white men to report workplace harassment related to their race or gender, signaling that the EEOC’s enforcement priorities going forward will be related to the administration’s broader focus on curtailing efforts related to diversity, equity, and inclusion, or DEI.

\n\n\n\n

The EEOC did not pick and choose which portions of the harassment guidance to rescind, instead nullifying the 200-page document altogether. Picking and choosing, Feldblum suggested, might have required a lengthier comment period, and drawn attention to the reasons behind the push to rescind it. The EEOC skipped the traditional 30-day notice-and-comment period for the public to weigh in.

\n\n\n\n

“The guidance addresses harassment on all protected bases—race, color, sex, national origin, religion, age, disability, and genetic information,” Kotagal, the Democratic commissioner, said during the meeting.

\n\n\n\n

She noted that the EEOC is often the “only opportunity” for many workers to “vindicate their civil rights.” She said she was “proud” to support the EEOC’s guidance, because it “empowers workers to know their rights and enables employers, particularly small businesses, to know their responsibilities.”

\n\n\n\n

Panuccio said Thursday that the “private sector is filled with resources” about how employers should apply workplace harassment law.

\n\n\n\n

The EEOC’s decision to rescind the guidance was widely criticized by advocacy organizations supporting women and LGBTQ+ people. The National Women’s Law Center said it was “yet another example of the EEOC straying from its core mission … leaving workers without the protections they deserve—especially women, Black people, and other people of color, LGBTQIA+ people, and other workers that face harassment and violence at disproportionately high rates.” The Human Rights Campaign said it would “destabilize our understanding of civil rights protections—for communities across the board—that generations of Americans have fought for, demanded and defended.

\n\n\n

The post It Just Got Harder for LGBTQ+ People to Address Harassment at Work appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", Just, Got, Harder, for, LGBTQ, People, Address, Harassment, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/shutterstock_2247892893-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/23/it-just-got-harder-for-lgbtq-people-to-address-harassment-at-work/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 13:59:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147555", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What is ‘Gray Divorce’?", "title_slug": "what-is-gray-divorce", "title_hash": "bba5cb5cb38aaedc2f2edc88fe6ff51d", "summary": "When couples split after decades together\nThe post What is ‘Gray Divorce’? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

When couples split after decades together

The post What is ‘Gray Divorce’? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "What, ‘Gray, Divorce’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/GettyImages-1439771200.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-gray-divorce/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 13:39:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147554", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Broken Up But Not Forgotten", "title_slug": "broken-up-but-not-forgotten", "title_hash": "83290bef02eb4bfa4ac5e89ba7ba4a0d", "summary": "An excerpt from The Intimate Animal by Kinsey Institute Director Dr. Justin Garcia where he illuminates the mysteries of how we date, mate and navigate our love lives.\nThe post Broken Up But Not Forgotten appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

An excerpt from The Intimate Animal by Kinsey Institute Director Dr. Justin Garcia where he illuminates the mysteries of how we date, mate and navigate our love lives.

The post Broken Up But Not Forgotten appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Broken, But, Not, Forgotten", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/TheIntimateAnimal_lifestyle1.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/broken-up-but-not-forgotten/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 13:39:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147429", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Do You Need Social Media to Get Girls? The Honest Pros and Cons", "title_slug": "do-you-need-social-media-to-get-girls-the-honest-pros-and-cons", "title_hash": "ecba52f8d456358eecc4521869a40da7", "summary": "Discover the honest pros and cons of using social media to get girls. Learn why a bad profile can hurt you and when it's better to skip it entirely.\nHey all. I hope you are doing well.\nToday I wanted to share a reflection on a subject that has been discussed in this community for quite a while, but which I have not really expressed myself about – until now.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"do$ Discover the honest pros and cons of using social media to get girls. Learn why a bad profile can hurt you and when it's better to skip it entirely.

Hey all. I hope you are doing well.

Today I wanted to share a reflection on a subject that has been discussed in this community for quite a while, but which I have not really expressed myself about – until now.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", You, Need, Social, Media, Get, Girls, The, Honest, Pros, and, Cons", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/social-media-get-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/do-you-need-social-media-get-girls-honest-pros-and-cons", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147430", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Rewards & Punishments Only Work on Women Who Value Your Approval", "title_slug": "rewards-punishments-only-work-on-women-who-value-your-approval", "title_hash": "fc539a866e328b2251a5e0d0bf245f50", "summary": "A girl’s ignoring you and doesn’t seem to care. If you disapprove of her, will that get her chasing? Often not; she needs to value your approval FIRST!\nI want to discuss a concept that is very important for any man hoping to wield any influence over a woman in any kind of romantic or social context.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"approval$ A girl’s ignoring you and doesn’t seem to care. If you disapprove of her, will that get her chasing? Often not; she needs to value your approval FIRST!

I want to discuss a concept that is very important for any man hoping to wield any influence over a woman in any kind of romantic or social context.

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", "keywords": "Rewards, Punishments, Only, Work, Women, Who, Value, Your, Approval", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/value-approval-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/rewards-punishments-only-work-women-who-value-your-approval", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147428", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Your Go-To Guide for Safer Sex", "title_slug": "your-go-to-guide-for-safer-sex", "title_hash": "f33f1b293c7dcfab5d7cc29cf7d5f98c", "summary": "Everything You Need to Know to Protect You & Your Partner From Unwanted Pregnancy & STDs", "content": "Even with all the sex education in the world, there are still aspects of proper safe sex practices that that many men are still unaware of, regardless of experience.\nIt might not seem important to you right now, but the consequences of taking your sexual health for granted and not having an informed, proactive approach can be the difference between a life-or-death situation.\nRELATED: The Best Sex Positions to Try Tonight (With Illustrations)\nHopefully, it won’t come to anything as serious as that. The potential benefits of knowing how to have safe sex are both serious and far ranging, so whether you’ve been having sex for years or are a virgin who’s only dreamt of it, you should know the ins and outs of how safe sex truly works as soon as possible.\n\nWhat Is Safe Sex?\n\nYou might think the conversation begins and ends with an image of a condom wrapper, but it’s more complex (and more interesting) than that.\nSafe sex is sexual intercourse that takes into account the possibility of negative outcomes — like sexually transmitted infections (STIs, formerly known as STDs), unwanted pregnancies, and violations of consent — and attempts to guard against them.\nAs well, some experts prefer the the term “safer sex,” as you can never be 100 percent sure that a sexual act won’t transmit an infection (or cause a pregnancy, if both a penis and a vagina are involved).\nWhile condom usage is a cornerstone of safe sex for men, using a barrier like a condom isn’t the only way to engage in safer sex.\n“Safer sex is important for all types of sex, not just [penis-vagina] intercourse,” says Jess O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast. “Many people still believe that oral sex doesn’t ‘count’ as sex, but all types of oral sex include some degree of risk.”\nIt’s also important to remember that condoms aren’t a foolproof method of protection. “Just because you’re using a condom doesn’t mean you are fully protected,” says Laurel House, dating and relationship coach and host of the Man Whisperer podcast. “You can still give and get Herpes Simplex 2 (genital herpes) if you or they have an outbreak on your skin (or even if you are shedding the infection but didn’t see the outbreak).”\nA person carrying the Herpes Simplex 1 virus — also known as oral herpes, which manifests as cold sores near the mouth and lips — can transfer it to another person’s genitals. That’s more commonly known as displaced oral herpes.\n“So if your partner has a cold sore, don’t have oral sex,” House cautions. “In fact, probably good idea not to make out at all with your mouth.”\nShe also adds that it’s important to get tested for STIs regularly. “After every sexual partner. Even if you both swear that you are clean and that you never cheated, people lie,” House points out. “Take responsibility for your health and the health of your partner.”\nOn a much deeper level, if you care about engaging in physically safer sex, you should also be concerned about emotionally safer sex, too.\n“Safer sex isn’t just about lube, condoms and other barrier methods,” notes O’Reilly. “You also want to consider emotional safety in all sexual interactions.All sex involves some emotional reaction, and whether you’re playing by yourself, with a partner, or with multiple partners, you want to prioritize your emotional health.”\nShe adds that “the best treatment is prevention, so learning to be emotionally honest (with yourself and your partner) is an essential life and relationship skill. Prior to engaging in sexual activity, consider a range of scenarios and interactions that might occur and think (and talk) about how you might respond emotionally.”\n\nHow Do You Use a Condom?\n\nIf you want to engage in safer sex, proper condom usage is a must. While condoms can be very effective when used correctly, carelessness or mistaken assumptions can completely negate that effectiveness.\nAlways make sure the condom hasn’t expired by checking the date printed on the wrapper. If it’s already passed, the condom isn’t guaranteed to be effective, so don’t use it (even if it’s your last one). “Open it carefully to ensure you don’t damage it,” says O’Reilly. “Check to make sure it’s right-side-out (the rim should be on the outside, like a little hat). Place it on the top of the head and pinch the tip to leave a little space for the semen to collect.”\nOnce it’s on the tip of your penis, roll it all the way down to the base. “If you’re uncircumcised, you might want to pull the foreskin back before putting it on the head and rolling it down,” she notes.\nIt’s important that you don’t try to double your protection by using two condoms. “The friction from two condoms can cause breakage,” notes O’Reilly. “This rule also applies to combining an external condom (the kind that fit over the penis) with an internal condom (often referred to as a female condom) which is worn inside the vagina or anus. Only use one condom.”\n“If you find the condom is uncomfortably tight or a little loose or if it's too short [or too] long, you might want to try a different size to reduce the likelihood of slippage or breakage,” she adds.\nOne way to approach that is by testing out a bunch of different models. Rather than quickly grabbing a single pack from the shelf and sticking with that brand and model forever, consider switching it up on a regular basis and possibly buying smaller packs or variety packs so you can find the condom that works best for you.\nRELATED: How to Choose the Best Condom for You\n“[You should] become a condom connoisseur,” agrees Candice Smith, co-founder of The Kink Kit. “Many men avoid using condoms because they find that they can’t perform or lose their erection when they put on a condom. That’s because the only time they use condoms is when they are going to have penetrative sex.”\n“To gain comfort with condom usage, men should practice masturbating with different condoms to see which brand provides the best fit and preferred sensitivity.”\n\nHow Do You Use a Dental Dam?\n\nWhile condoms can be used for both penetrative sex and fellatio, they’re not designed to provide protection when you’re engaging in cunnilingus or anilingus. In those situations, you should use a dental dam — a thin, square piece of latex that you drape over the vulva or anus. This allows you to transmit licking and sucking sensations through the dam while still being protected from direct genital contact.\n“Dental dams create a barrier for oral sex — on a vulva or on an anus,” says O’Reilly. “Use lube between the skin and the dental dam for added pleasure.”\nSince dental dams are such simple tools, you you can handcraft one from other latex materials on your own.\n“You can create a dental dam by cutting the top off the condom and cutting down one side,” notes O’Reilly. “Or you can create a fun dental dam with a latex glove: Cut off all the fingers, but leave the thumb intact. Cut down the opposite end to create a dental dam that you can also insert into the orifice of your choice.”\n\nThe Importance of Consent Education When It Comes to Safe Sex\n\nDepending on your experience, your version of sex education might not have covered much about sexual consent. Unfortunately, that means engaging in safer sex might be trickier for you, since consent education focuses on being able to talk about sex in a healthy and open way.\n“Consent is a language, and we all speak different dialects. A conversation with your partner about how you communicate during sex will make sure you both recognize red lights and green lights during a sexual encounter,” says Sarah Beaulieu, founder of The Uncomfortable Conversation. “Without full, enthusiastic consent, sex is unsafe for both you and your partner. Consent isn't the absence of no, it's the presence of yes. Find out what your partner's ‘yes’ looks and sounds like before things get heated.”\nNot only are the goals of consent education and sex education so similar, they also get at an important point: No matter how physically safe a sexual encounter is, if it leaves one or both participants feeling emotionally scarred, how can it count as safe sex?\n“While it's definitely important to be able to talk to partners about contraception and safer sex, the other conversation that needs to happen is one around physical and emotional safety,” says Tara Struyk, co-founder and editor-in-chief of sex-education website Kinkly. “Are both partners on the same page about having sex? Are they talking through what they want and listening for their partner's words (and cues) about what they don't want? Are they asking for details about what's OK and what isn't as things progress?”\n“Avoiding unwanted pregnancy and STIs is important, but so is avoiding hurt feelings, crossed boundaries, and sexual assault,” Struyk adds. “The safest sex (and the best sex!) takes partners' physical and emotional safety in mind. Because most sex education deals with the dangers of sex and avoiding them, it fails to cover how to actually have sex, including how to have it in a way that is pleasurable for all involved.”\n\nSafe Sex Pro Tips You Might Not Know\n\nWhile being able to talk to your partner about having safer sex is important, it doesn’t hurt to have a little expert knowledge in your back pocket, either. Here are 10 pro tips from sexperts to help ensure your love-making is safe, smooth and fun.\nRELATED: The Best Lubricants for Sex, Revealed\n1. Be Careful When Removing the Condom\n“Putting the condom on properly is important, but you also want to remove it safely. Pull away from your partner while you’re still erect and remove it carefully before discarding of it,” says O’Reilly.\n2. Use Your Mouth\n“You can use your mouth to put a condom on a penis (or dildo) by placing the tip just inside your mouth (avoid the teeth) so that the rolled up rim sits on the outside of your pursed lips,” notes O’Reilly. “Pop it on the head and use your tongue and lips to roll it down the sides. This is much easier than it sounds, but you’ll likely need your fingers to roll it down to the base.” Jess.\n3. Make Sure Your Condom Is Lube-Friendly\n“Use a lube that is condom-tested per ASTM condom compatibility guidelines as laid out by the FDA. Oil-based lubes and lotions are not designed to be used with condoms and can weaken latex, causing it to break. Do not use Vaseline, baby oil, coconut or other body lotions that contain oil as lubricant,” says O’Reilly.\n4. Store Your Condoms Properly\n“Condoms should be stored in a cool, dry place,” says O’Reilly. “If you keep them in your wallet or in your car, the heat that compromise the integrity of the (latex) material and increase the likelihood of breakage.”\n5. Check for Air\n“Check your condom wrappers to make sure there is a little bit of air in the condom package before you open it and use the condom,” says Stewart. “If the foil package is completely deflated, get another condom. That means the seal has been broken and the integrity of your barrier has been compromised!”\n6. Try an Internal Condom\n“[An internal condom] isn’t dependent on your penis size and will sit inside the vagina, warm to body temperature, can be used with any type of lube, and doesn’t have to be removed right away,” says Stewart, who advocates for the ones made by FC2. “You can also use it for water sex, and can be inserted up to eight hour before sex so you can still be spontaneous.”\n7. Don’t Rely on Pulling Out\n“Pre-cum is just as potent with sperm as regular ejaculate,” adds Mackenzie Riel of romance and adult novelty company TooTimid.com. “Always use some form of protection like a condom, even if you plan to pull out. It's proven that pre-cum has just as much a likelihood of getting a woman pregnant as regularly finishing.”\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Pre-Cum\n8. Don’t Go From Anal to Vaginal\n“When you switch from anal penetration back to vaginal penetration, you have to clean your penis first,” notes Riel. “The anal cavity is not always the cleanest for obvious reasons. A woman's vagina is extremely sensitive, and the bacteria from that transition can cause major infection if not cleaned properly. Besides, it's more hygienic that way in general, and less ... well, gross.”\n9. Don’t Rely on the Presence or Absence of Symptoms\n“You can have an STI and not exhibit obvious symptoms or know it until you've been tested,” says Kayla Lords, writer and sexpert for sex toy retailer JackandJillAdult.com. “Get tested frequently if you have multiple partners or you don't always use protection.”\n10. Take an Active Role in Making Your Sex Safer\n“Birth control and STI prevention isn't just the responsibility of your partner,” says Lords. “You can start the conversation, and you can make sure you've got condoms. There's no need to rely on your partner to handle all the details or leave them to worry about it by themselves.”\nKnowledge is power, and knowing why safer sex is important and the basics of how to approach it won’t just mean you’ll be much less likely to contract STIs or cause unwanted pregnancies; knowing that you’ve got a solid grounding in safer-sex basics will also mean you can relax and enjoy yourself more. After all, isn’t that what sex is supposed to be all about?\nYou Might Also Dig: \n\n\t4 Key Tips for Preventing STIs\n\tThe Ultimate Guide to Dating With STIs\n\tBest Sex Positions for Virgins, Revealed", "keywords": "Your, Go-To, Guide, for, Safer, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/your-go-to-guide-for-safer-sex/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1769003652.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/your-go-to-guide-for-safer-sex.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147426", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Benefits of Spore-Based Probiotics", "title_slug": "benefits-of-spore-based-probiotics", "title_hash": "2e4ea2cab63add5ddaa0bb47dcf5ce90", "summary": "Doctors & Dietitians Explain the Difference Between Spore-Based Probiotics and Regular Probiotics", "content": "As far as supplements go, probiotics may be the most ubiquitous these days — with nearly one in three Americans taking one daily. Unfortunately, studies show that many of these beneficial bacteria are wiped out by stomach acid en route to the gut, rendering them ineffective. That explains why up to two-thirds of people say they don't see results from taking probiotics. Does that mean they’re a waste of money? Definitely not — because not all probiotics are created equal. More specifically, experts say that spore-based probiotics have a few key advantages that make them worth considering.\nSo, what are spore-based probiotics? Are they really better than regular probiotics? And if so, why? We spoke with two gut health experts to get the lowdown on these increasingly popular supplements.\nRELATED: Best Probiotic Supplements\n\nWhat Are Spore-Based Probiotics?\n\nSpore-based probiotics are a specific class of bacteria found in soil. As their name suggests, they boast hardy protective shells known as spores.\nSome examples of spore-based probiotic strains include:\nBacillus clausiiBacillus subtilisBacillus coagulansBacillus indicusBacillus licheniformis\n\nAre Spore-Based Probiotics Better Than Probiotics?\n\nBecause of these outer shells, research has shown that they’re less fragile and more likely to survive the long, harsh journey through your digestive tract — until they eventually reach the large intestine where they can colonize.\n“This structure makes them far more resilient,” says Dr. Will Bulsiewicz, a board-certified gastroenterologist and founder of 38TERA. “Spores can survive stomach acid, bile, heat, and time on a shelf much better than many traditional probiotic strains. That means they’re more likely to reach the intestines intact.”\nHowever, as Bulsiewicz points out, this doesn’t automatically guarantee better health outcomes. \n“Survival is just the first step — the real question is whether a specific strain produces a measurable benefit in humans,” he tells AskMen.\nAlicia Glavins, a registered dietitian, functional nutrition certified practitioner, and Clinical Science Liaison for Microbiome Labs, has recommended spore-based probiotics in her practice for years. Not only are they more resilient than traditional probiotics, according to Glavins, but they also have a more powerful mechanism of action once they reach the intestines.\n“Spores have a very different mechanism of action when they reach the intestines from other probiotics,” explains Glavins. “Spores are very effective at reconditioning the gut microbiome, meaning they interact with the gut environment in a way that supports the microbiome rather than simply passing through. This can lead to long-lasting health benefits instead of only short-term effects.”\n\nThe Benefits of Spore-Based Probiotics\n\nAs for the benefits you might experience with taking spore-based probiotics, Bulsiewicz says they tend to be modest and symptom-specific. In other words, don’t expect a radical and permanent “fix” to all your gut issues.\n“Some people may notice improvements in bloating, gas, abdominal discomfort, or stool consistency, depending on the strain and the condition being targeted,” he tells AskMen. “In certain cases, spore-based probiotics may help shorten the duration of diarrhea.”\nAccording to Bulsiewicz, most people will notice any benefits within a few weeks of starting a spore-based probiotic.\nThe specific product that Glavins recommends to clients is MegaSporeBiotic, a blend of five Bacillus spores made by Microbiome Labs. Research has shown that using MegaSporeBiotic consistently for at least 30 to 120 days can:\nSupport liver and immune functionReduce levels of fat in your blood (triglycerides) for improved heart healthRelieve occasional abdominal discomfortPromote microbial diversity Increase gut production of short-chain fatty acids (acetate, propionate, butyrate) — which regulate appetite, reduce inflammation, and fortify the gut barrier to keep toxins and pathogens out\n“In a study of over 270 people who used MegaSporeBiotic for four weeks, 13 different self-reported wellness and digestive-experience measures were evaluated,” says Glavins. “Across those measures, a majority of participants reported positive changes, including over 80% reporting improvements in digestive comfort and energy, nearly 80% in overall digestion, and about 75% in physical comfort.”\nAdditionally, research has shown that spore-based probiotics may have other perks, too, thanks to the gut-skin connection. A small 2023 study in people with acne suggested that taking spore-based probiotics for four weeks can reduce sebum production in the skin by up to 28%, while also improving skin hydration and decreasing the number of lesions by 37%. \nOf course, the benefits you get from a spore-based probiotic will depend on the specific formula. Bulsiewicz strongly advises seeking out products that:\nClearly identify the exact genius, species, and strains usedFeature doses supported by human clinical studiesAre manufactured with rigorous quality controls, including third-party testing\nRELATED: Are Probiotics Actually Bad for Your Gut?\n\nAre There Any Risks or Side Effects with Spore-Based Probiotics?\n\nAs with any probiotic, you may experience some side effects as your digestive tract adapts to the introduction of these new bacteria. \n“Some people may notice temporary changes in stool or digestive sensations, such as mild bloating or shifts in regularity,” says Glavins.\n \nThat said, experts agree that these side effects are mild and short-lived. However, if the symptoms persist or worsen, Bulsiewicz says that’s a sign you should stop. Starting low and slow with your dose — say, only one capsule instead of the recommended two — can help to minimize these side effects.\nAnother thing to keep in mind? There are some people who should avoid probiotics in general — regardless of whether they’re spore based. For example, while it’s super uncommon, occasional cases of probiotic-related bloodstream infections have been reported in vulnerable populations, and that’s a risk that needs to be taken seriously, says Bulsiewicz.\n“While probiotics are generally safe for healthy individuals, I’m cautious in people who are immunocompromised, critically ill, or have medical conditions that increase the risk of bacteria crossing the gut barrier,” he explains. “That includes people undergoing chemotherapy with low white blood cell counts, transplant recipients on immunosuppressive medications, and certain hospitalized or ICU patients.”\nRemember: probiotics aren’t necessary for everyone. Bulsiewicz views them as targeted, short-term tools that may help certain people with very specific symptoms. Instead of just investing in supplements, he advises focusing on foundational habits relating to diet and lifestyle.\n“For most people, the biggest gains in gut health come from food quality, fiber diversity, sleep, stress regulation, movement, and consistent daily rhythms,” he explains. “If those pieces aren’t in place, no probiotic — spore-based or otherwise — is going to deliver meaningful or lasting benefits. I do believe supplements can play a supportive role, but my bias is toward approaches that nourish the existing microbiome rather than trying to add new organisms.”\nYou Might Also Dig:\nFitness Awards 2025: Best SupplementsDoes ZBiotics Work? Here’s How It Helps Reduce Your Misery After DrinkingIs TikTok’s 'Fibermaxxing' Trend Legit - Or Will It Ruin Your Gut Health?", "keywords": "Benefits, Spore-Based, Probiotics", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/benefits-of-spore-based-probiotics/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1769105410.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/benefits-of-spore-based-probiotics.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147427", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Workout Mirrors", "title_slug": "best-workout-mirrors", "title_hash": "b1f3c66eaac717c72a3dca77cc691ffe", "summary": "The Ultimate All-in-One Home Gym Option", "content": "Ever since the pandemic, home gym sales have been skyrocketing. In fact, for a short time, you probably had an easier time finding a Playstation 5 than a set of dumbbells or a squat rack. But as much as we champion the classic home gym, built around an exercise bike, treadmill or squat rack, we do have to acknowledge a major downside: they take up an awful lot of space.\nIf you're lucky enough to own a garage (and a significant other who can be persuaded to let you transform it), you can swing the traditional barbell-and-plates setup, but if you're short on space, you need to get creative. Thankfully, that's exactly what some of the most innovative and cutting edge companies have done lately, and the result is transforming home – and particularly apartment – gyms: the workout mirror.\nRELATED: How to Build a Home Gym\nUsing minimalist designs, sleek engineering, and built-in resistance, these workout mirrors connect to the Internet to offer you guided workouts that can target every muscle group in your body, or lead you through a lung-burning cardio session. \nDon't believe us? Check out these five leading workout mirrors and prepare to have your mind blown. \nTonal 2\n\nDon’t let the sticker shock cause you to overlook one of the most capable and beautifully designed workout mirrors on the market. Tonal offers a 24” touchscreen with 15W stereo speakers, making it easy to see and hear your workout instructions, even from a distance, while the adjustable arms offer hundreds of potential workouts, both upper and lower body, and a total of 250 pounds of tension. Tonal also offers a subscription-based workout regimen (required for your first year after purchasing the mirror) that unlocks a massive library of workouts and programs, as well as allowing multiple accounts to be registered to one mirror, so your partner and children can each have their own profiles. Through the app, you’ll get fitness assessments, intuitive resistance adjustments, and automatic tracking and reporting of your progress.\n$4,295 at Tonal.com\nFORME Studio\n\nIf the big attractionof a home gym mirror is personalized training, you owe it to yourself to check out FORME's Studio. It boasts an extra-large, 43\" crystal-clear 4K screen with built-in camera, microphone and speakers, allowing any of their huge variety of personal trainers to take you through the workout or health routine of your choice: strength training, recovery work, yoga, Pilates, barre, and mindfulness exercises. Prices vary depending on the optional extras you choose (the Barre training bundle, for example, the recovery bundle or the strength bundle) as well as the cost of installation, but the final product looks gorgeous and offers performance to match.\nFind out more at FORMELife.com\nProForm Vue\n\nLeave it to Costco to supply one of the best value options: the ProForm Vue. The mirror is noticeably heavier and bulkier than much of the competition, but it also supplies its own swivel stand, making it easy to set up in the ideal spot in any room. The 22\" smart touchscreen display makes navigating through workouts, manipulating intensity settings and interacting with the included iFIT membership simple and intuitive. You can either stream a group workout and follow along or connect with an iFIT-certified trainer to receive live feedback and suggestions on your form and progress. \n$299.99 at Costco.com\nAEKE Smart Home Gym K1\n\nIf your focus is more on strength training than mobility or HIIT, you owe it to yourself to check out the AEKE Smart Home Gym Kit. It's one of the higher-end options out there, with a commensurate sticker price, but it also comes with some incredible perks, including a massive 4K UHD touchscreen, multiple user profiles (so the whole family can use it), real-time coaching with precision form correction, and a six-point body assessment to help you personalize a training plan to attack your weak points. \n$3,498 at AEKE.comYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Olympic Barbells\n\tHow to Master Fat Loss via Calories\n\tOur Favorite Garmin Fitness Trackers", "keywords": "Best, Workout, Mirrors", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-workout-mirrors/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1769006789.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-workout-mirrors.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147424", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Should You Start Doing Push-Ups Every Day? And How to Get the Proper Form", "title_slug": "should-you-start-doing-push-ups-every-day-and-how-to-get-the-proper-form", "title_hash": "4193767ed810427d5c5d07b4d9cca9c5", "summary": "A Daily Dose of Push-Ups Will Help You Correct Your Posture, Build Strength & Torch Body Fat", "content": "When it comes to workout moves push-ups are about as basic and old school as it gets. But you know what they say, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ right? As tough as they can be, push-ups remain a staple in many a fitness routine for a reason. They work. And not just the arms, as you might have been led to believe.\nSure, the push-up might not be as flashy and exciting as some other fitness fads, but if you commit to doing them on the reg, you’re guaranteed to see results. And bonus, you don’t need any extra equipment or a ton of experience to get started.\nRELATED: How to Get Better at Pull-ups\nBut before you get down on the ground and give us 20, we caught up with Max Castrogaleas MA, CSCS, TSAC-F, EP-C, FMS, FRC ms, exercise physiologist at HSS to get the inside scoop on just how the push-up benefits your body, when and how often you should be partaking in a round, how to mix up your push-up routine to fit your fitness level, and – something too many of us forget – how to ensure you’re using proper form from start to finish.\n\nBenefits of Push-ups\n\nBuild upper body strength: If you’re hoping to build strength in your upper body, push-ups are a great place to start. According to Castrogaleas, “the main muscle groups or body areas targeted are the chest, shoulders, serratus anterior, and triceps.” While you could work on developing muscle in those areas by lifting weights, as well, using your own bodyweight for resistance, means that a) you don’t need any extra tools and b) you can easily adapt your training to fit your abilities.\nAnd work the rest of the body, too: Sure, the guys you see doing 100 reps of push-ups in one go might have a lot of upper-body bulk, but the push-up is actually considered to be a full-body workout move. Castrogaleas shares that everything from the muscles around the rotator cuff, to the muscles in your core, and the muscles around the hips play an important role in helping your body complete a push-up with proper form.\nCan be easily adjusted to suit fitness levels: Push-ups are a great equalizer. Whether you’re a fitness enthusiast or a novice, there is a push-up style out there that matches your abilities. “Depending on [your] fitness level, [you] may start performing a push-up against a wall, while others may be able to progress to a feet-elevated push-up. Regardless of where you start, similar muscle groups are involved due to its relative movement pattern,” adds Castrogaleas.\nNo equipment necessary: As mentioned above, the push-up can be done without the use of extra equipment. While you might choose to complete your push-up round on a yoga or exercise mat, you could just as easily do them on any hard, smooth surface.\n\nShould You Do Push-Ups Every Day?\n\nSo, we’ve determined that push-ups are great for your bod, but does that mean you should be doing them every day? Perhaps, surprisingly, the answer is no. In Castrogaleas’ opinion, you can have too much of a good thing and rest time shouldn’t be ignored. “In order for your body to recover and get stronger, you need to include rest time. Without proper rest and recovery, you will end up overtraining and potentially getting injured,” he says. He adds that since you are using your body weight as a form of a load, you should think of push-ups as a resistance training exercise. With resistance training, a 48-hour rest between workouts is recommended.\nStill, this doesn’t mean all physical training needs to be off the table during those rest days. “Multiple muscle groups are involved during the push-up, so instead of doing push-ups every day, you can utilize some days to work on your core stability, hip stability, and scapula stability, as improvements in these areas will transfer over to your push-up technique,” he notes.\nRELATED: 7 Overrated Workout Moves\n\nHow Many Reps Should You Aim for?\n\nNo matter where you’re at in your push-up experience, your focus should always be on movement quality and not quantity. Castrogaleas recommends beginners start out with a set of five complete push-ups, using proper technique. From there, you can try going up by two to five repetitions on the next set, and if you are performing multiple sets “try to leave at least two push-ups in the tank and avoid going to failure,” he says.\n\nWhen to Incorporate Push-Ups in Your Workout\n\nWhile you could complete your push-up reps, at the beginning, middle, or end of your workout, you might want to consider checking them off your list before you tackle anything else. “At the start of the workout your body will still be fresh, so you can really focus on maintaining good technique while trying to complete a higher number of repetitions,” says Castrogaleas. Attempting push-ups post-sweat sesh will be more challenging since your muscles will be fatigued, you will need to focus more on maintaining proper form and you likely won’t squeeze as many reps in.\nCastrogaleas likes to incorporate push-up-like moves into his warm-ups, too. “I like to include yoga push-ups, where you end up in a downward-facing dog position to my warm-ups on those days where I’m performing overhead resistance training exercises,” he says.\n\nWhat Is the Proper Push-Up Form?\n\nIf it wasn’t made clear already, proper form when doing push-ups is key. Not only will it ensure you engage the right muscles and get the most out of your push-up workout, but it’s critical for avoiding injury and strains, too. Castrogaleas recommends you think of your push-up as a moving plank. “Aim to keep your core and glutes engaged throughout the full range of motion. This will help you maintain a stable and neutral spine position,” he says.\n\nTo start, “place your hands under your shoulders – slightly wider than shoulder-width apart – and keep your elbows at a 45-degree angle, or closer, to your body with the elbows pointing back. Avoid letting your elbows flare out as this will put unwanted stress around the shoulders,” says Castrogaleas.\nIt might be tempting to move quickly and try to build up momentum right away, but Castrogaleas warns this can cause you to lose control. “Performing the movement too fast, without having awareness of the core and hips, will most likely result in poor movement quality. Develop your body awareness before picking up your speed,” he says.\n\nHow to Adjust Your Push-up to Your Fitness Level\n\nDepending on where you’re at in your fitness journey, or even where you’re at on a given day, your push up routine can be adapted to fit what your body is capable of. Castrogaleas notes that performing a push-up on your knees or even standing with your hands pushing off a couch or kitchen counter are great alternatives for beginners focusing on nailing their form and they will involve the same muscle groups as the classic position.\nAlternatively, if you want to increase the difficulty of your push-up, once you’ve nailed your form, you can always add more reps and increase your speed, attempt a military-style push-up with a clap in between each rep, try doing your push-ups with one arm, or try doing them with one or both legs lifted or elevated.\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tEffective Arm Workouts for Men\n\tHow to Get Lean Instead of Bulky\n\tBest Shoulder Exercises", "keywords": "Should, You, Start, Doing, Push-Ups, Every, Day, And, How, Get, the, Proper, Form", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/should-you-start-doing-push-ups-every-day/askmen-lead-image-2x1-3-1769203239.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/should-you-start-doing-push-ups-every-day.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147425", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Kinky Valentine's Day Ideas", "title_slug": "kinky-valentines-day-ideas", "title_hash": "1e8042430e59acbc84e61c0c340ba6ed", "summary": "Sweet evenings of love are overrated; this Valentine's Day, make your lady's wildest fantasies come true... for both of you.", "content": "Valentine's Day is absolutely, first and foremost, about romance. If you've got a significant other, you definitely should plan a fun, intimate outing, whether it's a romantic dinner for two or a fun couples activity, and you have our permission to be completely cliché and show up with chocolates and/or flowers. But what if you also want to add a little kink factor to the festivities?\nRomance and sexual tension often go hand in hand, after all, so why not use Valentine's Day as a springboard to fun new bedroom activities or as an opportunity to explore each other's fantasies? \nRELATED: 12 Sexy Valentine's Day Gifts Great for Him or Her\nWhether you embrace the day with a new toy, game, or other gift that can be used in the bedroom, it’s all about sharing the love and staying naughty, too. Valentine’s Day provides the opportunity to do something that’ll bring your relationship to a whole new level. With this handy guide, you’ll have 10 different ideas to choose from.\n\nTop 10 Ways to Bring the Kink on Valentine's Day\n\n1. Try Bondage\nBondage can be a wonderful way to connect with your partner (even if they are tied down). “If you're not adept at rope play, purchase bed restraints or bondage tape,” suggests Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert, and the award-winning author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. “Be sure to communicate prior to play with your partner, have a safe word, and watch your partner to ensure their safety.”\nIf you’re new to BDSM, Adam & Eve’s Beginner Bondage Kit ($30.09) is always a go-to. The addition of its softly padded restraints will kick things up a notch if you’re looking to try out a more dominant-submissive approach to sex. Not to mention, it comes with a blindfold to intensify all those surprise sensations.\n2. Be Flexible\nThe best sex positions have the dominant partner on top. If you’re trying to be a little more ferocious, be the one to take the initiative. \n“Take control and pace between slow and faster rhythms to make your partner ache for more,” says Hall. “Lie on your partner in missionary to remind them who's boss, or take them from behind, which is a great position for some spankings and clitoris play.”\n3. Feel the Heat\nPick up some massage candles that are made of soy wax. With their melt temperature lower than conventional wax candles, they’ll keep a strong glow going in even the darkest of bedrooms. Plus, the longer-lasting flame gives you a chance to use that candle wax for a much sexier purpose.\n“You can do the kinky ‘pour hot wax on your boo’ thing much more safely, and then, voila — it becomes warm massage oil! Sensual and sexual exploration may proceed,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D., and Good Vibrations staff sexologist. (Need a suggestion? Try the Flickering Touch Massage Candle, which is $34.90 at Lelo.com.)\n\nA blindfold used along with this is even kinkier. Notes Queen: “This helps the recipient of the hot wax and massage focus on sensory input and makes the experience that much more sexy and intense.”\n4. Try a New Toy\nWho says you can’t treat yourself on Valentine’s Day? Spice up your sex life with a brand new, shiny toy that’ll hit satisfy all of your needs. While you can give it to your partner to use on you, there’s certainly nothing wrong with playing by yourself.\nNot sure what to try out? Not to worry. AskMen has you covered with great options for toys for him, toys for her and couple toys.\n5. Watch Yourselves Play\nWe're living in the golden age of amateur photography, with everyone walking around with high-definition cameras and video recorders in their pockets, so why not turn that high-powered lens on your bedroom fun? You can, of course, delete the video right after, but we recommend you at least watch it first. Who knows, it might inspire a second round.\n\n6. Write Your Partner a Sexy Love Letter\nYou may not be a Shakespearean poet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use the power of words to great effect. If you’ve ever sexted before, you might have a sense of what your partner is into when it comes to lusty language.\nAmp up your sexts to the next level with a full-on love note — ideally handwritten, but at least printed out and sealed in a nice envelope. Use your letter to describe something your partner will find sexy — whether it’s a promise of future sex, a recollection of a past hookup you had together, or a combination of the two. \n7. Snap Some Professional Naughty Photos\nWhile your iPhone is probably equipped with a great camera, it’s better to let the masters handle this one.\n \"A boudoir photo shoot is a triple threat gift!” says Laurel House, an author, spokesperson, and dating coach. “It's amazing foreplay — posing in sexy lingerie and feeling sexy, an opportunity to push your limits and play up your ‘Fifty Shades’ fantasies in your naughtiest lingerie, and you get to keep the photos and relive the fantasy time and time again!\"\n8. Embrace Good Butt Play\nIn the past half-decade, people have finally realized that it’s fun to play with your butt. No matter your gender, diddling around back there with a finger, a tongue, or a toy is just another way to up the pleasure factor with your partner.\nWhile you may be a bit apprehensive due to the cleanliness factor, Studio Ready is ready to put your mind at ease. Its Hot Coffee Scrub ($65on its website) aims to leave you feeling fresh, invigorated, and ready for all the ass-eating you can handle. Who wouldn’t want a “younger, fresher more moisturized appearance” for their butt? Give it the love it deserves!\n\n9. Get a Hotel Room for the Night\nOf course, this depends on your budget — a motel room or cramped Airbnb may not bring the same sexy vibes — but if you can afford a nice hotel room, it can be a very sexy option. \nSpending the night somewhere else can give things the flair of vacation sex without the hassle of, you know, actually going on vacation, and it can allow for some sexy roleplay (pretend you’re meeting up for a tryst) or simply the satisfaction of knowing you won’t have to wash the sheets or make the bed. Order some nice wine via room service — or BYOB — put on some sensual music, and you’re golden. \n\n10. Warm It Up\nWe all know the power of lube, but warmed lube is so much better. You can’t go wrong when adding an extra heat-filled sensation into foreplay, penetration, or any other clothes-free interaction that may take place. It’s easy to opt for generic lube bottles that can leave you with a messy cleanup, but since it’s the 21st century, why not go for the dispenser that doles out the lube for you? Pulse ($199 on Nordstrom.com) transforms your lubricant experience with one simple motion of the hand. Warm lubricant is dispensed at 90 degrees, the perfect temperature to enhance your pleasure.\nIt’s important to remember the most important rule of this holiday: There are no rules. Just have fun — and while you’re at it, be a little kinky, too.\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tTop Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tValentine’s Day Travel Ideas\n\tBest Valentine's Gift Ideas for Her", "keywords": "Kinky, Valentines, Day, Ideas", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_60/84_love_secrets/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1769194913.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_60/84_love_secrets.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:20:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147417", "lang_id": "1", "title": "PIZZA-OFF DATE NIGHT", "title_slug": "pizza-off-date-night", "title_hash": "c349cc70985836dc2a128ba46d4aca9c", "summary": "This Valentine’s Day all you need is… love and pizza! ", "content": "

This Valentine’s Day all you need is… love and pizza! ", "keywords": "PIZZA-OFF, DATE, NIGHT", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Pizza-Date-Night.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/pizza-off-date-night/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:19:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147418", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Naughty Coupons for Valentine’s day", "title_slug": "naughty-coupons-for-valentines-day", "title_hash": "f660cb42760d1d8b405ca4c0bb2b4afc", "summary": "It’s almost the month of love! Have you made plans for Valentine’s Day yet? Whether you answered “yes” or “no,” you’re going to want to leave some room for this fun & free activity… Trust us, it’s good! ", "content": "

It’s almost the month of love! Have you made plans for Valentine’s Day yet? Whether you answered “yes” or “no,” you’re going to want to leave some room for this fun & free activity… Trust us, it’s good! ", "keywords": "Naughty, Coupons, for, Valentine’s, day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Naughty-Coupons.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/naughty-coupons-for-valentines-day/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:19:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147415", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Intimately Us App For Couples", "title_slug": "intimately-us-app-for-couples", "title_hash": "ed125ac8f9787cfe221c733d23666117", "summary": "Intimately Us is a fun and sexy app for couples. It is full of games, activities and resources to bust bedroom boredom! Best of all the app is clean (not vulgar, crass or raunchy)\nThe post Intimately Us App For Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Intimately Us is a fun and sexy app for couples. It is full of games, activities and resources to bust bedroom boredom! Best of all the app is clean (not vulgar, crass or raunchy)

The post Intimately Us App For Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Intimately, App, For, Couples", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Intimately-Us-App-For-Couples.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/intimately-us-app-for-couples/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:19:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147416", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sexy, Sweet, and Spicy: Your New Favorite Sex Bucket List", "title_slug": "sexy-sweet-and-spicy-your-new-favorite-sex-bucket-list", "title_hash": "bd438e4ee46cb7aacf01522224c09c4c", "summary": "Spice things up with this sexy bucket list for couples—plus tips for building trust, talking consent, and creating deeper intimacy. Let the fun begin!\nThe post Sexy, Sweet, and Spicy: Your New Favorite Sex Bucket List appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Spice things up with this sexy bucket list for couples—plus tips for building trust, talking consent, and creating deeper intimacy. Let the fun begin!

The post Sexy, Sweet, and Spicy: Your New Favorite Sex Bucket List appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Sexy, Sweet, and, Spicy:, Your, New, Favorite, Sex, Bucket, List", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Sex-Bucket-List-Ideas.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/a-steamy-bucket-list/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 12:19:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147198", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Should Be Bonding With My Baby, But I’m Falling Apart Because of My Husband", "title_slug": "i-should-be-bonding-with-my-baby-but-im-falling-apart-because-of-my-husband", "title_hash": "3ca1a0507903f38e9e29e131fb6b15e1", "summary": "I have a four-month-old baby. Just two weeks after she was born, when we were still wrapping our heads around her, wrapped up in the beauty of having her in …", "content": "

I have a four-month-old baby. Just two weeks after she was born, when we were still wrapping our heads around her, wrapped up in the beauty of having her in our lives, my father-in-law died. It was sudden. Not expected. And as a result, we couldn’t have a normal birth naming ceremony. You wouldn’t want to seem inconsiderate while we were all still mourning that pivotal man who held the family down.

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Then, my husband travelled to his village. He said that he was going to check on his father’s farm. But information reaching me is that he is gallivanting around like he is not a married man. Sometimes, he is at the bar with lots of women. Sometimes, it is a hotel. People see him enter and come out like it is a bathroom, and he is living there. I learnt all of this two weeks into his stay there. He doesn’t even call often, and when you ask him what the reason is, he comes up with the excuse that his phone is giving him issues. I mean, so many things.

I was already fighting with him over it until this past Saturday, when his elder brother caught him in the act. Apparently, his brother was always informing people about his brother’s behaviour, and one of those people called to tell me. I had already heard the news, but his brother seeing it with his own eyes and spreading it shatters me in ways I still can’t understand. Worst of all, this same man is denying the truth. So what is he trying to say, that his brother is lying to me?

I feel hurt and disappointed to the extent that I don’t know what to do. Now this is my worry: I don’t have peace within me. I can’t eat properly. My heart beats faster than normal. I’m scared I might get pressure. I’m a breastfeeding mum and I can’t even eat well. What do I do to get my sanity back? I don’t think I can forgive him. Right now, I’m worried about myself. I don’t want to get sick, but I can’t stop thinking. I’m fighting a battle within myself.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

His mum has called to apologise. She said that I should be calm for the sake of the kids, we have two together, so that after the funeral, which is in March, we can have a conversation about it. Calm is not what I need. My mum is aware, but she too is advising me to calm down because it might not be true. His own brother is saying that it is true? They are trying to get me to forgive him, but no, I can’t. And it’s really haunting me. What do I do now, because I’m worried about my sanity? Why is this affecting me more than it should? I mean, I should be focusing on my baby, right?

—Stella

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", "keywords": ", Should, Bonding, With, Baby, But, I’m, Falling, Apart, Because, Husband", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "37", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/cropped-IMG_7361.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-should-be-bonding-with-my-baby-but-im-falling-apart-because-of-my-husband/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-26 03:07:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "147197", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After 7 Years of Dating, My Mom Brought Another Man and Said He Was My Husband", "title_slug": "after-7-years-of-dating-my-mom-brought-another-man-and-said-he-was-my-husband", "title_hash": "b39edf36c1352034ced5296217fa1cda", "summary": "My mom walked into my room one early morning around 5 a.m. She woke me up from my sleep and asked my age. I was confused. “You woke me up …", "content": "

My mom walked into my room one early morning around 5 a.m. She woke me up from my sleep and asked my age. I was confused. “You woke me up just to ask my age? Who born me—myself or you?” She started, “My point is, you’re not growing any younger. Next year, you’ll be thirty. At this age, you shouldn’t have a boyfriend. You should have a husband.”

I retorted, “But Mom, I’m still with Kobby. We are getting there little by little. It takes patience.” She answered, “Over five years is not patience. It’s a waste of time. If he would marry you, he would have.”

Me and Kobby hadn’t dated for five years. It was actually seven years. We started when we were both in the university. We had dreams. We loved. We played. We hoped we were meant for each other. Right after school, we made promises that after we found jobs, the next thing would be marriage.

I found a job first. It took Kobby two years to find a job that made him feel like a man. Throughout the two years when he was in the wilderness of unemployment, I was the one who sent honey and bread. When he needed silver or gold or shillings, I was the one who provided. He suffered, especially when the home he came from wasn’t good. I was with him through it all.

When he had a job, he said he was going to save for a year and we would get married. But all of his family depended on his salary. Today, it is about the fees of his siblings. The next day, Mom will be sick. Days later, he has to pay rent. It was very hard for him to save, so our intention of getting married was always going to take time.

That morning, my mom came with a request. She said, “A man isn’t necessarily the one you suffer with. Some come ready to make things right, and I have one of such men for you.”

I said no. She said yes. I said never. She said tomorrow. One day, I came to meet a man waiting for me in the house. He looked very respectable and calm. My mom said, “So she’s here. I will leave the two of you to take it from here.”

I was so angry it showed in my voice. He started, “I’m the one who found you and talked to your mom about marriage. I’m thirty-eight years old. I’m at a point in life where I need an educated woman to love and help me grow. You don’t know me yet, but every member of my family knows you, and they are praying for you to say yes to me.”

He sounded firm and resolute. He carried this self-assurance that smelled like he came from a place where people know what they want. I said, “You’re talking about marriage, right? What about me makes you feel I fit to be your wife?” He answered, “I’ve come to your office as a customer. I’ve seen you talk to men like me. I’ve spoken to people who know you. No one said one bad thing about you. I know your mom. If you’re her child, then she raised you well.”

I said in my head, “When a man wants you, he says all the right things. Where from this one too?”

The only thing that would make him leave me alone was God’s name, so I told him, “Let me pray to God about it. I will get back to you.”

Every morning, my mom asked how far with my prayers, even though she knew I wasn’t praying about anything. I told her, “You paid thousands to take me to school but will allow me to marry a man who didn’t go to school? What for?” Mom replied, “Kobby went to school, right? Apart from excuses, what does he have? This man didn’t go to school but has no excuse. What do you want, excuses?”

At this point, I knew I couldn’t argue with my mom, so I had to find a way to swerve her. I told her, “If you force me, I will hate the man because of you. He’s giving me time, so you too give me time to think about it.”

I went to Kobby and told him, “My mom is on me. She wants to see action from you. You don’t have to be rich to marry me. Whatever you have, bring it, and let me also bring what I have. We can do it.”

I didn’t tell Kobby that my mom had someone she was pushing on me, but Kobby, in the end, told me, “When a mother does this, it means she has someone in the picture. If that’s the case, then stick to your mom’s choice. I don’t want to do it when I’m not ready.”

I was shocked. “Did I tell you she’s giving me someone? What do you mean by I should go for my mom’s choice? It’s okay. You tell me when you think you’ll be ready.” He answered, “I’m not God to know the future. You’re my girlfriend. That’s what’s important now. Let’s leave the rest to God.”

I spent several days thinking about what he told me. I even cried about it. So I started entertaining the man Mom brought home. He was Akyin. I visited him one day. I asked what he needed help with. He showed me his businesses and took me to places he owned. He said, “With someone like you and your education, we can grow this into a big thing.” I responded, “But you don’t need me as a wife to do all that. You can even employ me to help you build.”

He responded, “You’ll suffer to build for someone else to gain? My dear, it’s you I want to do this life with.”

Each day when we talked, it helped me draw the parallel lines between a man who knew what he wanted and would go for it and a man who was Kobby. Kobby was so relaxed. I was the one doing everything in the relationship, but when it was his family, he went through hell for them.

One day, I told him he should decide once and for all, and he told me I didn’t have patience because I already had someone I was cheating with. I quoted what my mom said, “Patience doesn’t mean waste of time. I’ll wait. Whenever you’re ready to marry, call my phone.”

I stopped calling, and he never did until weeks later. He came accusing me of finding someone else. I didn’t even entertain him. I’d used all that weeks to know Akyin better. I was growing to like him, especially when I asked if he was willing to at least learn how to read and write, and he shouted, “That will be a dream come true. I’m ready even today.”

When I said yes to him, I helped him enroll in adult education. The humility he used to learn and the fact that he accepted everything I said as truth won me over. I went to school with him every day when I had the time. I spoke to one of the teachers who was willing to offer home tuition. We hired her.

One early morning, before 5 a.m., I walked to my mom’s room and tapped her to wake up. She looked at me and asked if I was being chased out of my bed. I said, “Thank you very much for Akyin and the lesson you taught me about patience. I’ve said yes to him. We are getting married in three months.”

She buried her cheek in her palm and looked at me for a while. She said, “Am I not the one who raised you? I know you’ll make a good choice.”

We got married on June 1, 2013, and to date, he’s the best decision my mom has ever helped me make. The way he’s been present in everything, helping with house chores and providing for the family. The way he submits to my opinions just as I submit to his. The way he brings me in on every decision of his. The way I struggle to sleep when he travels. Today, he reads, writes, and speaks good English. You should see him talking to the kids in English. If I tell them Dad couldn’t say a word in English a few years ago, they wouldn’t believe me.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I know you’ll be wondering what happened to Kobby. Nine months after I got married, he also got married. It actually confirmed my mom’s lesson in patience. I was only wasting my time. He’s currently divorced and on Facebook, talking bitterly about marriage and women only for the applause of the brotherhood.

—Tina

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I was very young when I met him. He was older—ten years older, I think. I was helping him to secure land in our village when our working relationship turned into love. I didn’t love him at first. I saw him as a mature man who didn’t have time for love until one day he proposed to me. He was so straight to the point that I thought he was joking, but then his consistency, care, and love broke my defenses. I said yes. He promised to make life easy for me.

He didn’t do anything he didn’t promise. The one problem I had with him was time. He didn’t have time for me the way I wanted him to, and in the evenings especially, when I was ready to talk to him, he would tell me he was too tired and wanted to sleep. I should have known he was married. A man of his age and experience shouldn’t have been single, but it was a question I failed to ask until he told me very late in the relationship.

I got pregnant and wanted to abort it. He convinced me to keep it. I said, “I can’t give birth when I’m not married. My family will be very disappointed in me.” He kept telling me to keep it, so I said, “Then when are you going to marry me?” That was when he told me he was married. I was broken into pieces. I wanted to hit him where it hurt. He said, “You’re right to be angry. Go on, hit me, but also know that it wouldn’t change anything.”

While I cried, he kept comforting me, telling me the baby was God’s gift and that I couldn’t take it out. He said a lot of things and made a lot of promises. He was a man who kept his promises, so I mellowed and decided to do what he wanted. Later, I asked him why he wanted me to keep the pregnancy so badly, and he told me it might be a boy. “A boy?” I asked. “What has a boy got to do with it?”

He told me he had four children and they were all girls, but he wanted a boy in his line. His wife wasn’t ready to give birth again, which was why he decided to get it elsewhere. I asked if his wife knew about me, and he told me she didn’t, but she would soon know.

He came home to introduce himself as the man responsible for the pregnancy. Everything my parents asked him to do culturally, he did. They asked him to set me up after delivery. They asked him to pay a huge amount even my heart skipped a beat when I heard it but he didn’t shake his head. I fell deeply in love with him that day.

I gave birth to a boy, and this man brought his brother and sister to come and name the child. He was all over the baby, not wanting to leave. After the naming, he spent two weeks with me, the longest time we had ever spent together. When he left, he called every day, planning how we were going to raise the baby and everything we were going to do for him.

The boy was three years old when I got pregnant again. Again, he preached to me about keeping it and the probability of it being another boy. I kept it. By this time, he had rented a place for me, opened a hair salon for me, and was on his way to opening another shop. When this pregnancy happened, it slowed everything down.

I gave birth again, and it was another boy. While he was happy, I was thinking about my life and the lives of my children. Yes, some of his siblings and family members knew me, but his wife didn’t, and most people in his life didn’t know what was going on. I was his little secret, and I didn’t like it.

He was present in our lives and provided for us until one day he told me his wife had caught him. I was happy and scared at the same time. I asked what he was going to do. He said he would handle it. I asked if I should stop calling him for a while. He told me not to, because everything was under control.

I didn’t see him for over a year, but he kept sending money and paying school fees and medical bills. Everything about me and the children, he stayed on top of. When I finally saw him, he promised me the struggle was over and the issue had been resolved. I asked if he was going to marry me as a second wife, and he said it wasn’t possible. When I asked if I could go ahead and marry someone else, he told me to be patient.

Everything went smoothly for a long time until one day he suffered a stroke. My first boy was nine years old and the second was five. It was very hard for me to reach him. In fact, it was impossible. The only person I could talk to was his sister. I would ask her what was going on and how he was, and she would tell me everything.

For close to a year, he didn’t recover fully. Even when he improved, he couldn’t talk as well as he used to. Throughout his sickness, he talked to me only once. That call lasted about forty seconds. A few months later, he died.

I went home to meet his people. My dad and my dad’s elder brother were with me. The widow denied ever hearing about us and even threatened to pour hot water on us if we didn’t leave. I was shocked to see the same people he had brought for the naming ceremony staying quiet and watching. The widow screamed at the top of her voice, creating a storm around the house: “If you don’t leave my house, I swear I will place a curse on you and your family. You will never recover unless the gods of my land are not gods.”

I couldn’t attend the funeral. Even my father turned his back on me. He said he didn’t send me into the arms of a married man. Yet when the man was alive, my father received the gifts that came his way. He never warned me. All he did was collect and sing the man’s praises.

After he was buried, I contacted his sister and asked if there was something left for us in his will. She said he didn’t leave a will, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have a claim to his property. She advised me to look for a lawyer.

I spoke to a lawyer. He said I had a good case, but the amount he mentioned was more than I could afford. He said if the woman denied us our share, it would go to court and DNA tests would be requested. He asked if I knew the man’s properties, and I said no. He asked if any family member could help. I called his sister again, and the way she spoke to me was as if she had never met me.
\n“So that was your plan all along, right? To have kids with him and take his properties. It’s there, go and take it.”

No one is willing to help me. I have a salon that is not doing well. The children’s fees have to be paid. When they are sick, it’s on me. I struggle every day. I can work for a month and save nothing because everything goes into childcare. I’m tired now and want to face the man’s wife. I’m not asking for the world. I’m asking for what is due my children. I know there is something for them.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I don’t want court issues. It is a long battle I don’t have the resources to fight. How do I approach this situation to get the family to take care of the children? They are very young. Because of them, it is hard for me to do anything. A man comes into my life, sees them, and disappears. Life is hard. I need help from the family but how?

—Afriyie

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Our second child is not normal. Right from birth, we have suffered to make him a normal child, but it hasn’t worked. We have become broke and desperate because all we have has gone into his care. Currently, he has cerebral palsy and is also blind. He is over one year old but can’t even sit or crawl, and he drools. Writing about this brings a lot of pain into my heart, but I have to.

We are not rich or doing anything that brings a lot of money into our family. We are a young couple who fell in love and decided to have children, but this came upon us. My mother lives with us permanently because without her, we can’t move around or even go to work. Who will take care of this child?

Days before the New Year, my wife woke up at dawn crying. It wasn’t the first time she had done that. I lay quietly and listened to her sob for several minutes. I couldn’t even say it was all right because I was also sobbing inside. She said, “I’m tired. If we don’t do anything, we’ll die and he’ll live.”

I asked what we could do, and she said, “We should see him off.” There was dead silence in the room. I wasn’t shocked or hurt or scared. I felt nothing, because some dawns, I had woken up to check his breath, hoping he was gone. I asked her, “Who is going to do that?” She answered, “Won’t the hospital do it for us? We can talk to one of these doctors. They might have pity on us.”

We both sat on the bed, looking in his direction while thinking. In the morning, when I lifted him up, a rush of guilt engulfed me. I wanted to cry, but even tears wouldn’t come. I asked myself, “Can we do this forever? If he outlives us, who will be there to continue this struggle?”

I agree with my wife on all levels. My mom told me long ago when I went to her for a loan. My dad has given up on me because I didn’t listen to him when he suggested it. Some people in my family have thought about this for a long time but haven’t been able to voice it out, though their actions show it. They want it done, but they want it to come from us.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

“Thou shall not kill,” the Bible says, but is this child not already dead? We owe rent, we owe friends, we owe at work, and we owe our parents and siblings. Has he not already killed us? Hmmm.

—Brew

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******

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I have two dads. One is the runaway, and the other is the man who wore the shoes and did right by me. My mom said that when she told Kweku, my biological father, that she was pregnant, it was the last she heard of him.

He vanished from the surface of the earth. They searched the whole town and could not find a single trace. She was left alone to go through the nine months alone, with eyes watching and fingers pointing at her.

Then Mr. Opanyin came into the picture. My knight in saving armour. The man who wore the shoes. He cared for me as his own. I took his surname because, even though we did not share the same blood, he did what my own father could not do. Even when my mother and Mr. Opanyin later broke up, he was still there for me, steady as a father. I promise you, forever I am indebted to that man. He is no more, but forever I am grateful he existed.

Then, a few years ago, like most absent men do, my biological father reappeared. He slipped back into the picture and now, he is making a mountain out of a molehill. I am about to get married, and he is trying to make things hard.

When he returned, the family elders said that since he ran away and now wanted to claim me, he had to perform some rites to finally be my father. Mr. Opanyin’s family knew all about this. My absentee father did a part of it, a small part, and left the rest unfinished. For whom? I still do not know.

Now, marriage is here. I went to see my father, as tradition demands, and he gave me the marriage list. But my mother’s family are standing firm. They say he must finish the rites before he can act as my father for this wedding. If not, then Mr. Opanyin’s family are the ones who will marry for me. My biological father has never taken care of me. He never bought me ice cream, not even after he reappeared. Not a single textbook. He never took care, because by then I was grown and had finished senior high. It was my Opanyin siblings who enrolled me in university while my father watched from the sidelines like a spectator.

Now he says they have disrespected him. He asks why they did not tell him all this while, why wait until I have to marry before they say he must pay some money to complete it. But the truth is, he was told. He just did not listen.

It has been seven months now. Seven months of me literally begging my father to make time to see my fiancé. His excuses are endless. Tomorrow, today, always shifting. Now he tells me I cannot marry without him, that he does not know the man in question.

Me, I just want to marry the man I love as soon as I can. So I have asked my biological father to step aside. I have asked him to let my Mr. Opanyin’s people marry for me.

So I ask you, am I being ungrateful? Am I being mean to my father?

–Vida

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#SB<>

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\n\n\n\n

Hotels across the country are housing ICE agents as they carry out violent raids, detention operations, and street abductions.

\n\n\n\n

Of course people are pushing back. Activists have been calling for boycotts of hotel chains like Marriott and Hilton that cooperate with ICE, arguing that businesses should not be providing material support for an enforcement regime built on mass detention, deportation, and brutality.

\n\n\n\n

The government seems offended that anyone would even object. When one Hilton-branded hotel reportedly refused to host ICE agents, the backlash from the government was unhinged, with the Department of Homeland Security yelling on social media that it was “unacceptable.”

\n\n\n\n

As if private businesses are obligated to support armed state violence. As if saying no to ICE is somehow unreasonable or even traitorous.

\n\n\n\n

It’s easy to dismiss the backlash as ideological, performative, or just another episode of internet outrage. But underneath it is a much older and much more serious question—one that sounds dusty until you think about how modern law enforcement actually works: What are the limits on the government’s ability to force private space into service for coercive state power?

\n\n\n\n

That question sits at the heart of the Third Amendment—the one most people have forgotten about if they ever knew what it was at all.

\n\n\n\n

Dusting off the Third Amendment

\n\n\n\n

The Third Amendment prohibits the government from forcing people to “quarter,” or house, soldiers in their homes during peacetime without consent.

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The Founders were responding to very specific British abuses in the decades leading up to the American Revolution. The British Parliament’s Quartering Acts required colonists to house troops and provide them with supplies, including, specifically “with diet, and small beer, cyder [sic], or rum mixed with water.”

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The 1765 Quartering Act prevented British troops from being housed in private homes, but it also required colonial legislatures to provide quarters for soldiers to be lodged in, including barracks, inns, and ale houses—basically the Marriotts of the day. Later, in 1774, Parliament enacted another quartering act that required private homes to quarter British soldiers and allowed royal governors—the Crown’s appointed executive officials in the new colonies—to find places to house British soldiers in “uninhabited houses, outhouses, barns, or other buildings.”

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And, according to the National Constitution Center, a nonpartisan organization for constitutional education, there were reports of the British military forcing their way into private homes during the French and Indian War.

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The colonists hated it, of course. They were deeply suspicious of standing armies operating among civilians and relying on civilians for housing, supplies, and logistics: George Washington, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton all loudly opposed it. Standing armies were invasive, expensive, and coercive. They hated it so much that they listed it as a grievance in the Declaration of Independence—and then enshrined their objection in the Bill of Rights.

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The Third Amendment reflects a simple principle: The government does not get to commandeer private space for enforcement just because it’s convenient. (The fact that the newly formed United States promptly ignored this principle when it came to Native Americans is deeply relevant hypocrisy.)

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It’s easy to dismiss the Third Amendment as irrelevant today: No one is stuffing ICE agents into your mom’s spare bedroom and demanding that she serve them weak mojitos—yet.

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This particular amendment has never been the basis of a Supreme Court decision, and modern lower courts have waved it away as inapplicable to modern policing. (As recently as 2015, a federal court in Mitchell v. City of Henderson ruled that Third Amendment protections didn’t apply because local police officers are not soldiers.)

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But that dismissal depends upon pretending that modern law enforcement bears no resemblance to a standing domestic army—a pretense that gets harder to maintain given the ongoing events in Minnesota.

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ICE is a paramilitary force, full stop

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ICE is formally a civilian—not military—agency with a law enforcement component tasked with enforcing immigration laws. In reality, it operates as a paramilitary force. Agents conduct coordinated raids, deploy tactical units, carry military-style weapons, and work hand-in-hand with local police departments that have themselves been heavily militarized over the last several decades.

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These aren’t rogue actions: They’re protocol. The Trump administration has framed this work not as immigration or law enforcement, but as combat—against “invasion,” “criminal aliens,” and “alien enemies“—and ICE agents are behaving accordingly.

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In Minnesota, that posture has resulted in extraordinary violence. The ICE agent who killed Renee Good earlier this month was immediately shielded from public accountability while the administration smeared her and her wife to justify the killing.

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A 21-year-old said he was left blinded in one eye after agents fired a projectile into his face at close range. That same week, agents threw flash-bang grenades into a car carrying six children, including a six-month-old baby who reportedly stopped breathing and had to be revived by his mother, who performed CPR.

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So when ICE agents operating this way need “quartering,” the relevant question is not whether they technically qualify as “soldiers.” It’s whether the function they serve—as armed agents of the state deployed against civilian populations—triggers the same constitutional concerns the Third Amendment was designed to prevent.

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Hotels can say no

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Housing ICE agents is not a neutral act. It is part of the logistical spine of Trump’s detention-and-deportation machine. ICE does not operate in isolation; it relies on a vast network of private contractors, detention centers, transportation providers, and lodging to function at scale.

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Hotels provide staging ground, proximity, and rest and resupply for agents conducting raids that funnel people into detention facilities. Lodging is infrastructure. And when that infrastructure is treated as something civilians or private businesses are expected to provide automatically, the consent that the Third Amendment requires has already been abandoned.

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Which brings us to the Hilton mess.

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When Hilton stripped a local hotel of its franchise following reports that the property declined to host ICE agents in early January, individuals reportedly began canceling Hilton Honors accounts in protest. It sent a clear message: Declining to provide private space for armed federal agents is no longer treated as a neutral business choice—it’s a provocation.

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That framing mirrors the government’s response.

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The Department of Homeland Security melted down on social media accusing Hilton of siding with “murderers and rapists” and deliberately undermining federal law enforcement.

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Setting aside that most of the people DHS is detaining aren’t murderers and rapists—indeed, 73 percent have no criminal conviction, according to the TRAC Immigration database—in what world is a private business required to cooperate with law enforcement by housing them?

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That is precisely the dynamic the Third Amendment was written to reject.

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Private actors are not obligated to materially support state violence. Hotels are private businesses. They get to decide who they lodge and under what conditions. Declining to house ICE isn’t sabotage or resistance—not really. It’s the ordinary exercise of property and contract rights in the face of an increasingly aggressive immigration enforcement apparatus.

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The reason the Third Amendment feels outdated is because we’ve normalized everything it warned against: heavily armed agents operating inside communities, private space pressed into service for enforcement, and government officials acting offended when anyone refuses.

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It’s also impossible to ignore how selective this alarm has been. Law enforcement operating aggressively inside Black and brown communities has been normalized for decades—raids, checkpoints, militarized policing treated as background noise rather than the constitutional crisis it is. That reality has rarely triggered serious concern about standing armies or coerced cooperation.

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But when those same tactics show up in places like Minnesota, where the people affected are more likely to be white—with the visibility and connections to power that can bring—the discomfort suddenly sharpens.

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What’s changed isn’t the conduct. It’s who is being subjected to it—and who is now being asked to quietly accommodate it.

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The Third Amendment was not written for a world in which federal agents routinely move through civilian communities battering and brutalizing them, supported by infrastructure that private actors are not permitted to refuse to provide.

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What we are seeing now is not the law being enforced, but yet another constitutional boundary being worn down through normalization—first in Black and brown communities, and now everywhere else. Hotels are not required to help that happen any more than private citizens are.

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And the government doesn’t get to act offended when hotels—and the Constitution—tell it no.

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The post Opinion: Hotels Have a Constitutional Right Not To House ICE Agents appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Opinion:, Hotels, Have, Constitutional, Right, Not, House, ICE, Agents", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/ABLC-3rd-amemendment-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/21/opinion-hotels-have-a-constitutional-right-not-to-house-ice-agents/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-23 04:01:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146930", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Conservatives Want to Ban Trans Girls from Sports (Podcast)", "title_slug": "why-conservatives-want-to-ban-trans-girls-from-sports-podcast", "title_hash": "4caf1558b5746187c397d2049e65dcfa", "summary": "Here’s a hint: It’s about opening the door to keeping all women and girls out of public life.\nThe post Why Conservatives Want to Ban Trans Girls from Sports (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode, Imani Gandy and Jess Pieklo discuss the ICE raids in Minnesota, Trump’s threats to “buy” Greenland, and explain how a ruling in favor of state bans on trans girls playing sports could lead to boys-only chess clubs.

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Together, we make reproductive justice visible.

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Rewire News Group is a reader-supported, independent nonprofit newsroom. Membership keeps this reporting accessible to all.

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FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

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Imani’s column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles, is back in 2026! Sign up for her newsletter here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

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The post Why Conservatives Want to Ban Trans Girls from Sports (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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During my first pregnancy, I was rushed into an emergency cesarean section because my daughter became trapped inside my birth canal after 45 minutes of pushing. My OB-GYN sarcastically refers to it as “the best of both worlds,” because I got to labor until she was crowning before being rushed into surgery.

My pelvic floor doesn’t see it that way. As an added bonus to the physical trauma that I endured, the night after I gave birth, the swaddle my newborn daughter was tightly wrapped in loosened and covered up her face. She was crying—screaming, actually—but my sleep apnea-afflicted partner snoozed away. I thanked my lifelong ability to wake at the sound of a pin drop for helping me snap to consciousness in that moment. Before I could remember that I had a fresh 14-inch long incision across my waistline, I lurched forward to aid my newborn.

Days later, I woke up covered in blood with a split c-section incision. My mom puked at the sight of my partner cleaning up the wound. That’s when I realized I had retraumatized the location when I adjusted my daughter’s swaddle. After a 6 a.m. ambulance to the emergency room, a return trip to the ER a week later due to more bleeding, a subsequent infection, drainage appointments, and two weeks of motherhood, I finally began the journey to physical healing. For more than six years after, though, I suffered from incontinence.

Since giving birth, laughing, sneezing, coughing, jumping on the trampoline with my children, or even screaming along to my favorite song in the car has left me leaking. Sex with my husband was often so painful that we had to stop. When these issues began, I had not yet begun my sexual and reproductive health graduate course and did not know that a c-section could cause a pelvic floor injury.

I thought pelvic floor dysfunction only happened to those who gave birth vaginally. I was wrong.

I know now that pelvic floor therapy, which involves working with a physical therapist to perform exercises like Kegels, squats, and stretching, and using other techniques like hands-on massaging and vaginal dilation, could have helped me with this issue long ago.

The problem did not get better as time went on but in fact, got worse. Over the course of a few months, a childfree friend of mine urged me to tell my OB-GYN that I was struggling with pelvic issues—and to use the information I had gleaned from my graduate training to help me advocate for myself. My OB-GYN happily obliged without a second thought. With private medical insurance backing me, I was ready to get my pelvic floor right.

The first session with a pelvic floor therapist can be the most intimidating. It consists of analyzing the pelvic floor’s response to various stimuli to create a treatment plan. There are “homework” exercises to do outside of therapy sessions, too, like those Kegels and stretches.

I was shocked when, only after the first week, my urgency to urinate decreased from an average of 12 (yes, 12) times in a 24-hour period to an average of nine in the same timespan. (People typically urinate six to seven times in 24 hours, on average.) As an added bonus, for the first time since those witching hours with a newborn seven years ago, I slept for more than six hours without waking up with the urgent need to go.

I was hooked on this therapy that I had previously been so misinformed about, even though I’ve spent nearly a decade researching and advocating for sexual health. Equipped with my personal experience, I spoke with Ruth Macy, a pelvic health physical therapist and co-author of Your Postpartum Body, to clear up some common myths and misconceptions about pelvic floor therapy for others who may be in a similar position.

Is pelvic floor therapy only helpful for postpartum people who had a vaginal birth?

Pelvic floor therapy is helpful for anyone who is pre- or postpartum—and for people who haven’t given birth, too. Pelvic floor therapists can help those with concerns about their bladder health, bowel health, pain or changes in sexual function, gynecological or urological cancers, and bowel cancer. People in gender transition also may need pelvic floor therapy, Macy said.

Is pelvic floor therapy traumatizing?

While pelvic floor therapy can be difficult for survivors of sexual abuse or those who have suffered labor and postpartum injury, history of trauma typically comes up during the consents done at the initial intake session. Patients can opt out of having internal vaginal exams, for example. Oftentimes, my therapist would check my pain as we were completing exercises and always asked my consent before trying anything new. Pelvic floor therapists are trained to treat their patients with care and respect and affirm consent throughout treatment. Macy also told RNG that providers should honor patient autonomy and have “safeguards for stopping a treatment if the patient becomes unresponsive or appears to be fawning to ‘get through it.’”

Is pelvic floor therapy based in science?

Pelvic floor therapy has been used since the days of ancient Greece, and the field has come a long way even since the mid-1900s. Pelvic health care is one of the fastest growing areas of clinical research, and has a strong and growing body of evidence behind it.

In the 1940s, “Margaret Morris [a ballet dancer and choreographer] and Minnie Randell [her mentor and a midwife/physiotherapist] identified that pelvic floor strengthening helped reduce leakage in dancers,” Macy said. “There have been many decades of ‘how to influence the pelvic floor’ since that time.”

Macy added pelvic floor therapists can receive board certification through the American Physical Therapy Association, but it’s not required to practice.

Are women the only people who can benefit from pelvic floor therapy?

Nope! Children and men may find pelvic floor therapy helpful if they are struggling with pelvic floor or related problems. Macy says men most often seek pelvic floor therapy for incontinence after radical prostatectomy. But men could also benefit if they are struggling with sexual dysfunction, any disruption related to the prostate, and testicle pain.

In children, pelvic floor therapy is often recommended when there is bedwetting, urgency, daytime incontinence, or constipation. The difference for children is that they do not receive internal exams. Therapy consists of either behavior modification and/or exercise.

Is pelvic floor therapy only helpful for pelvic floor issues?

One of the biggest misconceptions fails to consider the ways that the pelvic floor is linked to other parts of the body.

“The pelvic floor is a tattle tale, as it reports to different parts of your nervous system,” Macy said. “It will be dysfunctional before other muscular systems. It should be considered in [unmanageable] back, pelvic, sacroiliac joint, and hip pain that is not responding to conventional treatments. It can help with any deficit in walking, transfers, running, and more. It functions as a part of many systems, so I see it involved in a lot of musculoskeletal problems.”

For me, the benefits of pelvic floor therapy were immense. They helped my quality of living, my posture, my sleep, and my sex life. The myths are just that—myths.

The post What Is Pelvic Floor Therapy? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Here’s What Doctors Say", "title_slug": "how-do-you-know-which-peptide-is-right-for-you-heres-what-doctors-say", "title_hash": "ec43ef84c89f22b8a78c1263976f6b97", "summary": "A Beginner’s Guide to Peptides: The Types to Know & the Benefits to Expect", "content": "Fueled by emerging research, countless celebrity endorsements, and influencer hype, peptides are one wellness trend that’s impossible to ignore moving into 2026. The proof is in the Google Trends data: Searches for the term “peptides” grew 194% from early January 2025 to the top of this year. And no, we're not just talking about GLP-1s for weight loss — other peptides are being praised for benefitting the body in myriad ways, from boosting energy and supporting brain health to strengthening the immune system and promoting longevity. \n\"Peptides are trending for a reason,” says Dr. Daniel Ghiyam, MD, a longevity expert at MedPodLA. “Many peptides mimic naturally occurring compounds in the body, which is why clinicians are paying attention. It’s like the body's internal text messaging system. While not all peptides are FDA approved, the science behind them is expanding, and clinicians are becoming more comfortable using them thoughtfully and conservatively.”\nAccording to longevity and chronic pain specialist Dr. Hany Demian, MD, the rise of peptide therapy reflects a broader frustration among patients who feel stuck managing their symptoms rather than optimizing how their bodies function.\n“Traditional medications often work by suppressing or compensating for a problem,” he explains. “Peptides take a different approach. They act as signaling molecules, helping guide cellular behavior — supporting repair, regulation, and recovery at a more fundamental level. Their popularity reflects a broader shift toward therapies designed to work with the body rather than override it.\"\nAs for when to expect results with peptides, Dr. Demian says most of his patients start noticing changes within just a few weeks to a few months. \nSo, how do you know which peptides are the best fit for your specific health goals and concerns? To find out, we spoke with doctors who regularly use peptides in their practices. In this beginner’s guide, MDs share the peptides they’re most excited about, and what to know about the benefits and risks before you consider trying them.\nRELATED: What Is Peptide Therapy?\nBPC-157\nWithout a doubt, BPC-157 is one of the most popular peptides right now, according to Demian and Ghiyam — and with good reason: Research suggests that it can help to support tissue healing by boosting growth factors while reducing inflammation. \n“Clinically, it is often used in patients with tendon or ligament injuries, joint pain, or gastrointestinal issues,” he tells AskMen.\nDemian recommends this peptide for anyone struggling with slow recovery from surgery or an injury. \n\"I’ve been using BPC-157 consistently, twice daily, for roughly five years, which gives me a unique perspective on its effects,” adds Demian. “I originally turned to it when I noticed my recovery slowing down. Workouts lingered longer, small injuries took more time to heal, and long days were harder to bounce back from. Within about two months, the change was clear. Recovery improved significantly, to the point where I could train twice a day with minimal downtime, better than I had in my twenties.”\nBPC-157 seems to be surprisingly versatile: because it’s also shown promise for promoting gut healing, this peptide is also often used to help treat ulcers, inflammatory bowel diseases, and damage to the gut lining — say, from overuse of NSAIDs (like aspirin and ibuprofen).\n“I’ve also seen meaningful outcomes in patients and family members, including significant osteoarthritis relief, resolution of chronic pelvic pain post-childbirth, and marked improvement in severe post-surgical and post-radiation pain,” adds Demian.\nIt’s important to note that not all products are created equal — some brands are capitalizing on the buzz around this peptide, and making false claims about the potency or purity of their BPC-157. Look for products that have been third-party tested by certified labs, and have a published certificate of analysis, like Limitless Biotech BPC-157.\nFinally, keep in mind that BPC-157 still exists in a legal gray area since it’s a synthetic peptide that isn’t technically FDA approved.\n“BPC-157 has interesting preclinical data for gut healing and connective tissue repair — however, under current regulations, it cannot legally be prescribed or compounded for human use in the United States,” explains Dr. Joseph Mercola, DO, a board-certified family physician.\nTB-500\nAnother peptide touted for its healing powers is TB-500.\n“It’s known for improving mobility and supporting tissue repair, particularly in musculoskeletal injuries,” Demian says.\nFor these reasons, this peptide is often recommended for people who are highly active, or frequently rehabilitating persistent soft-tissue issues.\nTB-500 is frequently used in combination with BPC-157 — together, these two peptides can have an even stronger synergistic effect that reduces pain and inflammation and enhances tissue regeneration.\nThymosin Alpha-1\nConsidering how many people are living with weakened or dysfunctional immune systems, it’s no surprise that this particular peptide is gaining interest.\n“This peptide plays a role in immune modulation and inflammation regulation,” says Ghiyam. “It’s increasingly being used for patients who experience frequent illness, chronic inflammation, or immune imbalance.”\nThymosin Alpha-1 is a peptide that’s naturally produced by the thymus gland, and it can help your body fight off infections as well as strengthen your response to vaccines by stimulating immune cells, like T-cells. Some studies have even suggested that this peptide could be beneficial in treating severe cases of COVID-19. Other use cases have included treating HIV, acute pancreatitis and hepatitis infections, as well as sepsis, and mold toxicity. \nEarly animal studies indicate that thymosin alpha-1 may also be useful for supporting hair growth.\nRELATED: Fitness Awards 2025: Best Supplements\nCJC-1295 with Ipamorelin\nIt’s next to impossible to discuss one of these peptides without mentioning the other — more often than not, they’re used in combination to stimulate the production and release of human growth hormone (HGH), says Ghiyam. \nGrowth hormone plays a role in increasing muscle mass and strength, regulating your metabolism and breaking down fat, and maintaining bone mass. A small trial in men over the age of 50 found that after six months of HGH therapy, they experienced a noteworthy improvement in muscle strength.\nTraditional synthetic injections are more likely to cause side effects because they flood your body with constant HGH, whereas ipamorelin works with the body’s endocrine system to increase HGH more naturally. Another advantage? Unlike synthetic HGH injections, ipamorelin has no impact on cortisol levels.\nAccording to experts, this peptide may be recommended if you’re currently struggling with — or trying to stave off — a decline in metabolism or muscle mass as you age.\nSS-31\nAlso known by the brand names Forzinity and Bendavia, as well as the generic name elamipretide, Dr. Mercola highlights this peptide because it recently got FDA approval in September 2025.\n“While it's currently approved specifically for Barth syndrome, research suggests potential applications for age-related decline, heart function, and kidney protection,” he explains.\nResearch has proven that SS-31 can be considered an antioxidant, and may have anti-aging benefits by reversing skeletal muscle deficits and improving cellular energy.\nRemember, though: For FDA-approved peptide drugs like SS-31, you need a prescription from a licensed physician, says Dr. Mercola.\n\nAre Peptides Safe and Legal?\n\nMany peptides are approved for medical use, while others may or may not be safe and effective, but only under the guidance of a qualified healthcare provider.\n“The biggest risks I see come from self-prescribing, improper dosing, and products sourced outside of regulated compounding pharmacies,” says Ghiyam.\nAs peptides have grown in popularity, so has the number of low-quality, unregulated products on the market, warns Demian. And some peptides are sold as supplements rather than drugs, which means they aren’t regulated by the FDA for safety and effectiveness. \n“Be skeptical of anything sold as ‘research use only’ — that's often a legal workaround,” says Dr. Mercola.\n \nAccording to Dr. Mercola, these disclaimers exist because the products can't legally be sold for the uses they're being marketed for.\n\"The best entry point into peptide therapy is through a qualified longevity or regenerative medicine specialist working with accredited compounding pharmacies that meet FDA standards,” he tells AskMen.\nWorking with a healthcare provider also means you get a more personalized approach to peptide therapy. Rather than wasting money on products that may or may not benefit you, you’ll receive specific recommendations that align with your health issues, lifestyle, and goals.\n“Before starting advanced protocols, I typically conduct comprehensive lab work and, in many cases, genetic screening to identify risks or contraindications,” says Demian. “This helps guide which peptides may be appropriate and which should be avoided.”\nPeptide injections are typically well tolerated — the most common adverse effects found in recent research are redness, irritation, or discomfort at the injection site. That said, peptide therapy isn’t for everyone. According to Ghiyam, you may not be a good candidate if you have a complex autoimmune condition, or active or suspected cancer.\n“I don’t recommend peptide therapy for individuals under 21, as natural growth and hormonal development are still underway,” adds Demian.\nUltimately, experts agree that peptides can be a powerful tool when used responsibly — but they’re not magic fixes, nor are they substitutes for foundational health habits.\n“They work best when used as part of a broader medical plan that includes proper nutrition, sleep, movement, and lab-guided care,” explains Ghiyam.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nIs Ozempic Safe for Weight Loss? Experts Weigh InBiohackers Share the Secrets to LongevityFitness Experts Share 10 Biohacks", "keywords": "How, You, Know, Which, Peptide, Right, for, You, Here’s, What, Doctors, Say", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-do-you-know-which-peptide-is-right-for-you-heres-what-doctors-say/askmen-lead-image-2x1-10-1768833600.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-do-you-know-which-peptide-is-right-for-you-heres-what-doctors-say.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-21 02:28:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146470", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Cheap Valentine's Day Gifts for Him Under $50", "title_slug": "cheap-valentines-day-gifts-for-him-under-50", "title_hash": "87299420bb9f3bdbdf3cefc6fc293c4a", "summary": "You might be on the hunt for the most expensive Valentine's Day gift out there for your partner, but the perfect present doesn't have to come with a hefty price tag.\nNo matter the type of guy you're celebrating with, there are plenty of options you can surprise him with that won’t break your budget (and will still leave 'em with a smile on their face).\nTo assist you in your gifting adventure, we scoured the web for the latest and greatest V-Day gifts for guys — all of which cost $50 or less.\nRELATED: Best Cheap Valentine's Day Gifts for Women\n\nValentine's Day Gifts for Him Under $50\n\n‘Beastie Boys Book’ - Michael Diamond and Adam Horovitz\n\nIf he’s a Beastie Boys fan, he’ll love this one. Written by Adam “ADROCK” Horovitz and Michael “Mike D” Diamond, this memoir has the perfect blend of sincerity and humor. Featuring comical anecdotes, rare photos, and a mini themed cookbook from famed chef Roy Choi, it will provide hours of entertainment.\n$23.04 at Amazon.com\nSTEEZY Studio Subscriptio", "content": "You might be on the hunt for the most expensive Valentine's Day gift out there for your partner, but the perfect present doesn't have to come with a hefty price tag.\nNo matter the type of guy you're celebrating with, there are plenty of options you can surprise him with that won’t break your budget (and will still leave 'em with a smile on their face).\nTo assist you in your gifting adventure, we scoured the web for the latest and greatest V-Day gifts for guys — all of which cost $50 or less.\nRELATED: Best Cheap Valentine's Day Gifts for Women\n\nValentine's Day Gifts for Him Under $50\n\n‘Beastie Boys Book’ - Michael Diamond and Adam Horovitz\n\nIf he’s a Beastie Boys fan, he’ll love this one. Written by Adam “ADROCK” Horovitz and Michael “Mike D” Diamond, this memoir has the perfect blend of sincerity and humor. Featuring comical anecdotes, rare photos, and a mini themed cookbook from famed chef Roy Choi, it will provide hours of entertainment.\n$23.04 at Amazon.com\nSTEEZY Studio Subscription\n\nFor the antsy guy who can't keep still during quarantine, gift him an easy-to-follow monthly subscription to STEEZY. Filled with tutorials from highly sought after choreographers, it gives the dance fanatic (or music lover, fitness enthusiast) an outlet for all that pent-up energy. And with 1000+ classes, there's plenty of opportunities — with little room for excuses — to get off the couch, too. \n$20/month at Steezy.co\nJambys\n\nWith most of our time spent at home these days, comfortability is key. Jambys are the latest piece of inactivewear to hit the market, meant to be worn casually just about anywhere you choose. Although they come off looking like boxers, the French Terry fabric and chic colorway gives them a level of sophistication you wouldn't find in your average pair of underwear. Any guy would be more than happy to be on the receiving end of a gift that screams \"Please, stay in these all day!\"\nFrom $35.20 at Jambys.com\nJawzrsize Face Exerciser\n\n\nA workout for your face? This gift doesn't exactly scream love and romance, but if your guy's a fitness buff looking to tone up that jawline, it'll be right up his alley. Meant to target your facial muscles with the ultimate goal of giving you \"a more defined jawline, a slimmer face, and increased muscle strength in the neck,\" the Jawzrsize is the handsfree exercise tool that can help shift your appearance in places you wouldn't necessarily think you'd have such control over.\n$35.99 at Amazon.com\nMophie Wireless Charging Pad, Gen 3\n\n\nA wireless charging pad will keep his phone battery in the green and reduce his cord clutter, too. Compatible with various versions of the iPhone, it is designed to charge a phone 50 percent faster than the standard charger.\n$34.99 at Amazon.com\nPhilips OneBlade Trimmer\n\nHalf beard trimmer, half shaver, the Philips OneBlade Trimmer is the secret weapon for the shaving kit. Each blade lasts four months, and can trim, edge or shave any length of hair for the perfect clean-cut shave.\n$37.96 at Amazon.com\nRhone Origin Tee\n\n\nIf your guy's gym wardrobe consists of ratty shirts and pants with holes where they shouldn't be, introduce him to something a little more refined. This workout tee from Rhone will allow him to get his swole on without feeling too bunched up. Plus, the cotton blend will help in keeping him cool and dry even after the longest of workouts. Just make sure you tell him that a shower is still necessary.\n$43.20 at Rhone.com\n\nRELATED: Unique Valentine's Day Gifts\n\nNike Dri-FIT Challenger Athletic Shorts\n\n\nThere is absolutely no scenario in which a man won't be thrilled to receive a comfortable, stylish and performance-enhancing pair of shorts, and at just $40, these Dri-FIT Challenger shorts from Nike are a total bargain. The moisture-wicking fabric keeps you dry, even through your most strenuous sweat sessions, while the cleverly placed reflective elements make running at night much safer. \n$40 at Nordstrom.com\nTriggerPoint Foam Roller\n\nIf you want to go the fitness route without purchasing apparel, contribute to his workout wind down with this TriggerPoint foam roller. Designed to improve flexibility, alleviate pain and soothe the muscles, this gadget can be used on everything from his back to his calves.\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\nTruff Original Hot Sauce\n\nAdvertised as the world \"first black truffle-infused\" hot sauce, Truff has bottled a fiery concoction unlike any other. With a salty, spicy and sweet flavor profile, a few drops are the perfect addition to any dish if you're looking for that nice kick. It's developed with just the right amount of truffle, but still manages to retain its roots as a member of the classic hot sauce family that you know and love. Plus, the bottle is really, really pretty.\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\nDuke Cannon Big Ass Brick of Soap\n\nSoap may not be the most exciting gift, but this isn’t an ordinary bar of suds. Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick is meant for the guy whose idea of relaxing is kicking back with a nice cold one, so naturally, he requires something more than your basic white soap to bring with him into the shower. The 10 oz bar is made with steel cut grains for maximum gripability, and it has an endearing wood-meets-scotch fragrance.\nFrom $31.99 for 3 at Amazon.com\nBurroughs Beard Oil\n\nThis deluxe beard oil by Burroughs is made from natural ingredients and 100 percent pure essential oils. The blend helps to soften and moisturize the beard and keep his face feeling smooth.\n$30 at Amazon.com\nPaddywax Impressions Candle \n\nWhile he might not shop for candles himself, he may appreciate one to mask any odors stuck in his apartment. This candle aim to bring the fragrance and feeling of comfort into the home with scents of leather and oakmoss. And don't be alarmed if its \"sign of the horns\" symbol brings out a \"Rock on!\" each time he lights it. Just let him live his life.\n$24 at Paddywax.com\nSKYN Elite Condoms\n\nCondoms? As a gift? As it is Valentine's Day and your odds of sexy time have increased drastically, best to be prepared with 36 pieces non-latex soft protection. He'll be grateful you thought about it ahead of time because he definitely forgot to pick more up anyway.\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\nHerschel Supply Chapter Toiletry Kit\n\n\nHave travel plans on the horizon? Help him keep his grooming essentials organized and protected in this sleek dopp kit. With a waterproof main compartment and an internal mesh sleeve, this kit is easy to clean with ample storage.\nFrom $38 at Amazon.com\nMercator Black Cat Carbon Knife\n\nFrom pocket knives to hunting knives, Best Made Co. offers some of the most beautiful outdoor tools of the highest quality and craftsmanship. The Mercator Cat knife, for example, is handmade in Germany from fine carbon steel.\n$48.45 at Amazon.com\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tValentine’s Gift Ideas for Her\n\tUnique Valentine's Day Gifts\n\tLast-Minute Valentine's Day Gifts", "keywords": "Cheap, Valentines, Day, Gifts, for, Him, Under, 50", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/valentines_day/gifts_to_get/cheap-valentine-s-day-gifts-for-him/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1768918501.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/valentines_day/gifts_to_get/cheap-valentine-s-day-gifts-for-him.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-21 02:28:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146337", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Ignored the Baby Food Red Flag and Lost 11 Years of My Life to One Man", "title_slug": "i-ignored-the-baby-food-red-flag-and-lost-11-years-of-my-life-to-one-man", "title_hash": "f6a804e6d484a1a7bc6a1f8505cd004f", "summary": "I was twenty-one when Cyril entered my life, quietly and almost accidentally, the way storms often begin with harmless clouds. I didn’t meet him through romance or intention. I met …", "content": "

I was twenty-one when Cyril entered my life, quietly and almost accidentally, the way storms often begin with harmless clouds. I didn’t meet him through romance or intention. I met him through food. He had just reconnected with his stepbrother, who was in nursing school and living in a rented room at Kwashieman. While his brother was away at school, Cyril came to stay there for a break. Somehow, in the middle of their reunion, my name came up. I was known for one thing then; my cooking, especially my shito. His brother asked him to call me and ask if I could cook for him.

That phone call changed the direction of my life.

Cyril asked for shito and jollof. I cooked at my place, packed everything neatly, and headed to Kwashieman to deliver it. Traffic delayed me, and by the time I arrived, the sky had already started threatening rain. Before I could leave, it poured—heavy, stubborn rain, the kind that traps you exactly where you are. Cyril asked me to sleep over and leave in the morning.

I didn’t want to. But the rain didn’t negotiate so I stayed. We ate the jollof together because I was hungry, then watched a series on his laptop. I think it was The Big Bang Theory. Later, he asked if I played games. I told him I only knew racing games, so we played Need for Speed. He beat me mercilessly, laughing the whole time. Somewhere between the laughter and the game over screens, we started talking about life, about ourselves, about nothing and everything.

Cyril was fun. Or at least, that’s how he felt then. We played truth or dare. One moment blurred into another, and before I fully understood how it happened, we were kissing. We slept in each other’s arms that night, wrapped in comfort that felt sudden but convincing.

The next morning, Cyril proposed. And I accepted. Not because it made sense, but because I felt safe. Comfortable. Certain in a way young people often mistake for destiny.

The first crack appeared quietly. One day, I went to visit him and noticed baby food in the fridge. I asked about it casually. He said a visitor had come with a baby and he’d bought it for them. I believed him. I wanted to believe him.

That night, I dreamed of Cyril with a woman and a baby. The dream clung to me even after I woke up. I told him about it, half-joking, half-uneasy. He laughed it off and said he didn’t have a child. Two months later, he invited me to his actual family home. I met his mother and sisters. I was trying to take everything in when a woman arrived with a baby, almost a year old. Cyril introduced her as his cousin. I smiled, played along, carried the baby and played with him until they left.

But I noticed something. A flicker. A subtle shift on his older sister’s face. It was small, but it stayed with me. Later, I had the same dream again. This time, it refused to let me sleep. I woke Cyril and pressed him until he finally said, “You’ve already met the baby.”

And just like that, everything clicked. The cousin wasn’t a cousin. The baby wasn’t a nephew. I was hurt, but I didn’t leave. I asked questions instead. Why weren’t they together? Why was the child so young and already without a home? He told me it was a fling. That the woman hid the pregnancy until it was too late to abort. He sounded convincing. Vulnerable.

I believed him again. I even started treating the baby like my own. But the woman was always around, always present in his space. When I complained, he said her house was only three houses away. That explanation somehow felt reasonable at the time.

Two years later, I couldn’t take the chaos in my family home anymore and decided to move out. When I told Cyril, he said he wanted the same thing. We agreed to live together. We got a place at Tetegu in Accra. Life felt blissful. Normal. Almost happy.

Then I got pregnant. That’s when everything unraveled. I had already aborted once for him, so when I got pregnant again, fear sat heavier than joy. Cyril began emotionally blackmailing me. He said he was still in school, working at the same time. He said his father in the UK couldn’t know, or he would stop paying his final-year fees, especially because of the other child.

I decided to keep the pregnancy after he promised to support me. When I told my mother, she called me a fool. She wanted to see Cyril’s mother so they could discuss the way forward, but I kept avoiding it, worried about his fees, worried about rocking the boat. I carried that burden quietly until I gave birth.

Only his best friend and his uncle came for the naming ceremony. After childbirth, I moved back home. Two years later, I found out the other woman was pregnant again. That made two children with her. He hid it from me until I discovered it myself when I went to cook for him.

I was shattered. I asked to end things. He explained. He begged. He convinced. I stayed, this time with a half-heart. For six years, he juggled us. Then one Friday night, he called me and said he was getting married the next day.

I congratulated him and that was the end. I was too tired to fight. I gave eleven years of my life to Cyril. Eleven years. Today, I have three children and no husband. I don’t love men anymore. I keep things casual. One casual fling and I jilt them. I leave first. I don’t attach. But now, at thirty-four, loneliness sits beside me more often than I’d like to admit. I want to settle down. I want peace. I want companionship that doesn’t feel like survival.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

Sometimes I look back and wonder why I didn’t leave at the first red flag. But hindsight is cruel and honesty is late. Still, I tell my story because maybe someone else will recognize their storm while it’s still just a cloud.

—Obaa Yaa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Ignored, the, Baby, Food, Red, Flag, and, Lost, Years, Life, One, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "40", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/149355.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-ignored-the-baby-food-red-flag-and-lost-11-years-of-my-life-to-one-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 10:19:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146336", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Boyfriend Wears a Wedding Ring But He’s Not Married", "title_slug": "my-boyfriend-wears-a-wedding-ring-but-hes-not-married", "title_hash": "3ce8dd6a849f3d55ee06d32e6cd86cbe", "summary": "rew He was wearing a wedding ring when we met. I asked if he was married, and he said it was a long story. When our friendship settled, I asked …", "content": "

rew He was wearing a wedding ring when we met. I asked if he was married, and he said it was a long story. When our friendship settled, I asked him to tell the story. “Why are you wearing a wedding ring when you’re not married?”

His wife died when their marriage was only two years old. She died from cancer, and that episode of his life traumatized him in a way he never thought it would. It had been four years since his wife died. I asked if he had worn the ring every day since his wife died, and he said no. “I wear it sometimes just to remember where I used to be in life.”

I asked if he had moved on, and he said he had, but the memory still lingered. I had come to like him and was waiting for him to propose. Along the line, he took off the ring and didn’t wear it again for a very long time. I knew he was coming around. He proposed one day. I believed in his love, so I said yes.

Three weeks after dating, he went back to wearing the ring. I thought it was their anniversary or maybe an occasion to remember. He answered, “Oh no, it’s not an occasion. I miss wearing it. For some reason, I feel lighter when it’s on.” I jokingly said, “Then let’s marry so you can keep wearing it.”

He smiled and said, “Very soon.”

We’ve dated for over a year. He still wears that ring, sometimes longer than he used to. I complained. I pleaded with him. I said it the way we send supplication to a god: “Please let this ring rest. You make me feel like I’m dating a married man. I know I’m being judged right now by those who see us together. I beg you.”

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

He’ll take it off today and wear it another day. Sometimes he’ll try to hide it from me so I won’t see him while he wears it. Please tell me, is this a relationship you think will lead somewhere? I like the depth of his love, but I only wish that love were for me now and not for his dead wife.

—Bridgit

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend, Wears, Wedding, Ring, But, He’s, Not, Married", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/19441.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriend-wears-a-wedding-ring-but-hes-not-married/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 10:19:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146335", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Pastor Poured Oil On Me And I Ended Up Selling Everything I Had For a Boyfriend", "title_slug": "a-pastor-poured-oil-on-me-and-i-ended-up-selling-everything-i-had-for-a-boyfriend", "title_hash": "594e675d3290c2ce77595277a66da87b", "summary": "I came to campus and decided to take God seriously. I always told myself I would go to church, commit to a group in church, and take God seriously, but …", "content": "

I came to campus and decided to take God seriously. I always told myself I would go to church, commit to a group in church, and take God seriously, but I never did. I gave myself excuses on Sundays. I used lectures as an excuse and told myself, “God is there for me always. I can run to Him when I’m ready.”

But one Sunday, I dressed up and decided to attend church. I belong to a church, but it was far from campus, so I decided to attend this student-oriented big church on campus. It’s a very popular church and very fashionable. Their members stay colorful and proud so everyone will know they belong to that church.

The day I went there, I was enjoying the service, dancing up and down and praying like I’d been sent to the Jericho wall. I was all over the place, so when they said new members should come to the front, I couldn’t hide. I went. I introduced myself and said I was there to worship with them.

A gentleman I later came to know as Bernard came to take my details and right there said, “Newcomers attend a meeting with the pastor before they leave, so you’ll have to wait.”

I waited until much later. We had to meet the pastor. The pastor was so young you would mistake him for a student. He welcomed us, about five of us, and gave us the word of God and prayed for us. He would put his hand on your head, say a few prayers, and move on to another person. When it got to my turn, he stayed longer. He shouted the loudest. The intensity of his prayer was not like the others. When he was done, he said, “Wait. God has something to tell you.”

I waited when everyone else had left. I was left with Bernard and the pastor. He sat next to me and said, “God has good things for you—good things that will send the fragrance of heaven into your life but you have to sow a seed to tempt God. Let God know you’re ready. The bigger the seed, the bigger the grace. If you have to sell something precious to activate the grace, sell it. God gives, but you have to give to prove your readiness to receive.”

Brother Bernard took my number before I left the church. When I got to the hostel, I thought deeply about what he had said. “What do I have to give to God? God knows I’m empty. Must I give from nothing before He will pour into me?”

Bernard started calling and encouraging me about the church and asked me to join a group. He would talk sweetly about wanting to see more of me in church, and I told him I wouldn’t fail him. On Saturday, he came to my hostel and picked me up to attend a group meeting. He introduced me as their new member. About seventy percent of the members were students, some of whom I already knew.

On Sunday, I went to church and a lot of people came with a lot of money to sow as seed. They would mention the amount and the church would scream, “Activation!” (That’s not the exact word because I don’t want to give the church away.) All the money they gave was in thousands. Most of them were also students. Again, after church, the pastor came to me and said, “Don’t harden your heart. God is ready for you.”

Bernard started telling me what people do to be able to afford the kind of seed they sowed. “They sell their personal properties ooo because they know what God can give in return.”

By the third week, Bernard proposed. He said he wanted a godly relationship. I accepted. I found a boyfriend in the same church where I hadn’t even sown a seed. I was busy loving Bernard while the pastor was also busy looking at me somehow anytime we met. One day after church, the pastor prayed for me again and poured oil on my head, and I never felt the same again.

I went to my hostel and asked my roommate, “How much will I get if I sell my laptop?” She told me she had a friend who could help me sell it and get enough money. We called him to come and check the laptop. He said he could sell it for GHC1,500. I asked, “How about my phone? How much will I get?”

It was an iPhone 13 Pro Max. He said I could get GHC7,000. I told him, “Sell both.” A few days later, he brought me GHC9,000 as the total amount from the sales. I put everything in an envelope and the next Sunday, I went to church and sowed a seed with the money. The pastor was so happy. The prophecies kept coming and coming and he concluded, “Take an umbrella. It’s going to rain.”

Bernard also started taking money from me. Our relationship had grown to a point where the pastor was even aware of it. He advised us to be chaste and committed. If I told Bernard I had received money from my parents, that very week he would run into a problem and need a certain amount urgently. I gave him whatever he asked for.

I was in the church for the whole semester and was so committed my friends couldn’t even recognize me. I woke up one dawn to pray and I couldn’t open my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, nothing could come out. I burst into tears, not knowing what was happening to me. I slept, woke up, and felt lighter.

I started looking for my laptop and my phone. Meanwhile, I had been using a yam phone after selling those things ooo. My roommate said I was crazy. “Have you forgotten when you sold them?” Then I stopped and asked myself, “What made me do such a thing?”

I went down memory lane and everything started coming back to me afresh—the first day at church, the prayer, the anointing that changed everything. I cried and swore never to go there again. That evening, Bernard came asking me to lend him some money. He said GHC500 and promised to give it back the next day.

All the money he had asked from me was always supposed to be paid the next day, but it never came, and I didn’t ask questions. But that day I asked, “What happened to the ones you took? You never paid. No, I don’t have any money to give.”

He looked at me in shock. The next morning, he was asking me to go and see the pastor with him. I didn’t go. I stopped going to church and attending meetings, all the while feeling hurt about selling those things. I spoke to a friend who had been to that church before and had also stopped attending. Immediately I finished telling her my story, she burst out laughing. She said, “Leave that guy you call your boyfriend or else he’ll lead you back to them again.”

I haven’t left Bernard. That guy loves me, and it shows. He’s the only guy I’ve dated who has never asked for sex. I’m sharing this story to seek wider clarity. Is it possible to be spiritually manipulated into doing all that for a church? I swear if he had asked for more seed, I would have sold other things just to raise the money. That was how high and far I was in faith, yet the real me doesn’t even pay tithe or go beyond GHC5 when it’s time for collection.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I’ve asked Bernard to give me space while I think through all this. The feeling I had for the church is no longer there. Now the name of the pastor annoys me. The name of the church makes me feel triggered. And Bernard, I don’t know where to place him. Maybe after this pilgrimage of self-finding, I will tell him to leave me alone.

—Bridgit

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", "keywords": ", Pastor, Poured, Oil, And, Ended, Selling, Everything, Had, For, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/32214.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/a-pastor-poured-oil-on-me-and-i-ended-up-selling-everything-i-had-for-a-boyfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 10:19:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146334", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Seventeen Years Later, It Is Only Clear My Wife Hates Me", "title_slug": "seventeen-years-later-it-is-only-clear-my-wife-hates-me", "title_hash": "c4193d7a7545b009ed4b30b6cce8fa5f", "summary": "Seventeen years ago, my wife and I took a solemn vow. We stood in front of families, friends, and strangers. Before that, we had been dating for three good years. …", "content": "

Seventeen years ago, my wife and I took a solemn vow. We stood in front of families, friends, and strangers. Before that, we had been dating for three good years. So, three years of dating and now fourteen years of marriage. I am a teacher and she is a nurse.

When we stood before our families, I imagined the greatest love story. One where we would fight and make up before the sun set. One where we would laugh so much our stomachs would hurt. I imagined us standing in the kitchen, loving and doting on each other while the food burnt. For a while, it was like that. And trust me, we basked in that glory.

But right now, hmm. Things are going a bit south. It is really hurting my soul.

I saw the red flags early on. I knew there were things about her that could make marriage difficult, but I silenced my instincts. I spoke to myself as if it was the devil. “Oh, get away from me, you Satan. Get away, I rebuke you.” I knew and trusted that my love was enough. More so, the pastors I revered urged me to go forward. It felt like God was telling me, “I’ve got you.” They reminded me of the many who looked up to me. And so, I obeyed.

We got married on a beautiful Saturday, but by Sunday, I stood and watched my world begin to crumble. I stood face to face with what I had ignored. Our first argument started over the simplest thing ever. It made no sense. She was going to meet an unknown person who had called her. When I did not agree, it was not because I am your husband and supposed to dictate your movement. From the bottom of my heart, it was just a genuine concern for my new bride. How are you going to meet someone you barely know? Just that. She ignored it. She chuckled, dragged her feet, and walked out the door. That was just the beginning.

We started small. We agreed to live in a single room in a compound house, believing the discomfort of the place would push us to work harder and build our own home. So, the following year, we bought a piece of land. She paid for it from her savings while I used my earnings to fund my degree. It was an agreement both of us understood. Even aside from the clear financial strain, we found joy in our growing family. From the day we found out we were pregnant to the delivery, the journey was beautiful, even for me. Watching a woman risk her life for my child was surreal, and I was overwhelmed with happiness.

I gave my all as a father. When her maternity leave ended, I took over full-time childcare duties, becoming a stay-at-home husband while she resumed work. I was doing it for my family, so it was no bother. Besides, I loved taking care of my daughter. Later on, I juggled my teaching job with fatherhood, taking our daughter to my mother’s place during the day and bringing her back home after school. When our second child was born, I continued to be the supportive husband. Cooking, cleaning, washing, and caring for the children. Everything that society says belongs to the African woman, everything they say is a woman’s duty, I did dutifully. I did it all because I loved my family.

When we started building our home, I funded it mostly through loans I took from the bank. A roof over the head was better than moving from one apartment to the other in these times when house owners behave like they own the world. My wife then decided to take loans, not to support our building project, but to start businesses. I supported and agreed. We could not depend on the salaries we earned, so I stood by my wife, and she flourished. From the bottom of my heart, I was genuinely happy for her.

Maybe it was the devil trying to test me or show me something, but somehow things changed on my side. Things were not going well for me financially. I was stretched so thin that I was unable to contribute much to household expenses beyond paying the bills and my children’s school fees.

I am overwhelmed and sad to announce that in that moment, she turned into a stranger. It started small. She started denying me access to her body. She started coming home late at night, and who was I to complain? I could not recognize her anymore. She grew distant. I am not allowed to even touch her subtly. Then and even now, when I look deep into her eyes, I fear what is going on in her head because it is clearly not love.

Still, I remained patient, because patience is key, right? I have seen you people say it here a lot: be patient.

Then, when we finally moved into our half-completed house, she decided to further her education. I fully supported her decision. She later proposed that we start a block-making business. She said it would be a good investment. I suggested we wait and use her savings for school fees instead. But she ignored my advice, went ahead with the business, and ended up with nothing. When her fees were due, she had no money and had to take a loan elsewhere.

That was when things spiraled out of control. Sometimes I think, does she blame me for it? Does she think because I did not support it, that is why it failed?

She has told everyone who cares to know that I have refused to support her education, as if I am one of those men who behave like the wife’s growth is a crime. And you know how lies go. Before I could explain myself, the lie was everywhere. People started to look at me differently. The respect I once had in the community vanished into thin air. I am sure, when parents saw me, they prayed that their daughter did not marry a man like me.

For three years now, she has refused to share a bedroom with me. She has chosen instead to sleep in the children’s room. So, you can imagine how long I have been denied. Denied the simple act of watching my wife fall asleep and wake up beside me. For three years now. And I have begged, pleaded, and tried everything possible under the sun to restore what we once had, to make her happy, to make her see me as her husband, a man she loves. But she has shut me out completely. I am standing outside the door, locked out, just here counting days and watching my heart break. I am so sore. My heart hurts, my chest, this feeling… oww.

We no longer share meals. I cook for myself and the children while she prepares hers separately, sometimes at home, sometimes at her shop.

But what hurts me the most is how she treats the children. She has become abusive, physically, emotionally, and verbally. I see the fear in their eyes. I hear their silent cries. I feel their pain.

I have carried this burden alone for years. I have endured the shame, the false accusations, the emotional neglect, and the destruction of our family.

She tells people I am cheating on her with my students, that is the biggest, fattest lie. She tells them I do not take care of the home, another lie. She tells them I refuse to support her business, yet another lie. My wife hates me, right? What is the problem?

Whenever she watches movies where men mistreat their wives, she projects that anger onto me as if I were the villain in the story.

I have tried everything. Prayers. Patience. Counselling. Conversations. Nothing works. Anyone who attempts to mediate is immediately seen as an enemy.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Now, I am exhausted.

I cannot keep fighting a battle where I am the only one who wants peace. I cannot allow my mental health to deteriorate any further. And I cannot watch my children grow up in this toxic environment.

For the first time in seventeen years, I have accepted that maybe, just maybe, letting go is the only way to save myself and my children.

And so, I stand at the crossroads of love and survival, torn between the vows I made and the reality that is breaking me.

I never imagined my marriage would end like this, but at this point, I see no other way.

—Peter

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If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

I was going to let everything pass, to let it fade as quietly as it began. But then I saw what you wrote. I know you understand what I am talking about.

I also understand that for a fair judgment, both sides need to be heard. That is why I am here.

Let me start with the facts. We dated for four months and one week. That is the full length of our relationship. Before that, we had known each other for only three months.

I have to respect the way you crafted your story to fit the narrative in your head. You claimed I walked away as if you did not matter, as though there was not a major incident long before that day. An incident that shattered my trust and nearly ended things between us right then. Perhaps you forgot. Or perhaps you believed trust, once broken, could be rebuilt in seconds.

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You said I made you question your sanity. But truthfully, you had me doing the same. This happened every time you repeated mistakes you promised to leave behind, every time your words and actions did not align. Were my emotions and mental health supposed to remain untouched? Still, I stayed. I stayed through it all.

You even suggested it was partly my fault that you kept doing things I disliked, that I was somehow responsible for your own choices. How often did I actually wrong you? And when I did, did I not apologize sincerely once you pointed it out? Did I not always encourage you to speak your mind? I respected you. I valued your thoughts and your feelings. So I find it hard to believe that having standards, knowing what I will and will not accept, makes me the villain in this story.

But you know what? I accept the title. I also accept being called a coward. If choosing to walk away from a relationship that drained me, that left me with headaches and a tight chest, makes me a coward, then I accept it fully. Maybe it was simply God redirecting my path.

You implied I was sarcastic, clinging to some moral high ground. Let me be clear. I have never claimed to be perfect. I would be the first to tell you I am flawed. I was not perfect in our relationship, but I can say I never made you feel worthless. You, however, made me feel that way more than once.

When we talked about me being tough on you during arguments, I reminded you of how we began. You can choose not to remember. You have your version of events fixed in your mind. What I find both funny and sad is that no one stopped to ask why I, the same man who asked her to be my girlfriend, chose to leave. I thought it was understood. Men do not just walk away without a heavy reason. It seems everyone was content to ignore my side of the story.

On the day I asked her to be my girlfriend, we sat and talked about what we each wanted in a partner. We spoke of kindness, loyalty, communication, understanding, honesty, and transparency. Looking back, I held up my end of those values. I made mistakes, yes. I am not perfect, and I never pretended to be. But when I hurt her, I apologized quickly and worked not to repeat the same error.

The same could not be said for her.

Communication and understanding matter deeply to me. Since this was her first real relationship, she made mistakes, big and serious mistakes. I was patient. I told myself it was inexperience, and I gave her grace.

But when she messed up, she would grow moody and withdrawn if I expressed my hurt. It felt like emotional blackmail, especially remembering how she once told me she cried when things did not go her way. So I would feel guilty for being upset over her actions, and I would end up comforting her. I carried the weight of making things “normal” again, just to keep peace.

This went on for months, until I finally told her I would no longer be the one to repair what she broke. It was exhausting, managing the aftermath of her mistakes. I wanted her to learn accountability. She agreed in the moment, but in practice, nothing changed. Even then, I still stepped in sometimes to mend what was frayed.

A day and a half before I sent the breakup text, we had a misunderstanding late at night. It was about her tone, and something I said that she took as sarcasm. She was convinced I thought she was lying, but the truth is, I was not being sarcastic. I was choosing my words carefully, trying to understand why she seemed so distant. We both went to sleep angry.

I believe you should never go to bed angry with someone you love. I tried to teach her that. But in our relationship, anger often lasted into the next day. I hated that.

The following day, I had work. My phone has a known issue, and she is well aware of it. It has disrupted our communication before. That day, it would not work at all, so I left it at home. I was offline until late evening. Once I finally got it working, I saw there were no messages from her. Not one.

Two things stood out to me. First, she made no effort to restore closeness after our fight. Second, she gave me space during a conflict, something that felt deliberate, not kind. After thinking it over, I realized I could not continue.

It was draining. Beyond the honesty issues, there was the pattern of repeated mistakes, saying one thing and doing another, and the subtle emotional pressure. It gave me headaches. It weighed on my heart. But I stayed because I loved her. I even stayed after a particular incident that destroyed my trust entirely. Maybe I should have ended it then. Maybe it would have been better for us both.

Now I have been called a coward by the woman I once loved and by a member of her family. That same person called me a manipulator and a bad person. And you know what? I accept those labels. If leaving a relationship that was toxic and draining, something many of you would also do, makes me those things, then I accept them gladly. I simply could not keep going.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

As I reflected on my year, I even wrote about her. “One good thing, I think it is good, is that I got into a relationship. I will not lie. She is nice, intelligent, and beautiful. But she still has a lot of growing to do. Through all our ups and downs, I can say yes, I fell in love again. I did not think I was still capable of feeling this way.”

I have no regrets. I will always stand by that. I hope you can say the same.

Thank you, and good riddance.

—Isaiah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "REACTION:, I’m, Afraid, This, Breakup, Will, Cost, More, Than, Heart", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/412270.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/reaction-im-afraid-this-breakup-will-cost-me-more-than-my-heart/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 10:19:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "146120", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Trials Show Successful Ballot Initiatives Are Only the Beginning of Restoring Abortion Access", "title_slug": "trials-show-successful-ballot-initiatives-are-only-the-beginning-of-restoring-abortion-access", "title_hash": "994629de45f99a274446084e2a3de568", "summary": "“Ballot measures are not the silver bullet,\" Center for Reproductive Rights senior counsel Amy Myrick said.\nThe post Trials Show Successful Ballot Initiatives Are Only the Beginning of Restoring Abortion Access appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The outcome of two trials in the coming weeks could shape what it will look like when voters overturn state abortion bans through future ballot initiatives.

Arizona and Missouri voters in November 2024 struck down their respective near-total abortion bans. Both states added abortion access up to fetal viability as a right in their constitutions, although Arizonans approved the amendment by a much wider margin than Missouri voters.

That was just the beginning of protracted legal battles.

Amy Myrick, senior counsel at the Center for Reproductive Rights, said ballot measures are a powerful and important step in returning abortion access to a state, but success on Election Day doesn’t mean the fight is over.

“State constitutions don’t automatically repeal laws,” Myrick said. “Sometimes, even if the state isn’t doing it, other groups or legislators will jump in to try to retain these restrictions.”

The trial over Arizona’s abortion restrictions wrapped up this week, Arizona Mirror reported. Maricopa County Superior Court Judge Gregory Como seemed unconvinced of the argument that certain laws around how abortion medication can be prescribed, waiting periods, and bans on abortions in cases of fetal abnormalities should remain enforceable.

A similar trial in Missouri will wrap up on Jan. 26 after hours of testimony about more than a dozen abortion restrictions state officials are seeking to preserve. The Republican supermajority state legislature is also putting a countermeasure to reinstate the abortion ban on the ballot in November, paired with a ban on gender-affirming care for minors.

Arizona and Missouri have what are known by abortion-rights advocates as Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers, or TRAP, laws passed by legislatures before the U.S. Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision in 2022. Even states without bans, like Connecticut, Maryland, and Rhode Island, have statutes in place that the Guttmacher Institute considers TRAP laws. Abortion providers are subject to state licensing and other medical requirements, but as of December 2025, 25 states still have laws that impose additional regulations for clinics, according to Guttmacher, such as facility size and transfer agreement requirements, or admitting privileges at local hospitals within 30 miles.

Officials and legislators usually argue in the statehouse and in court that the extra parameters increase the safety of abortion procedures, but the safety record is strong under existing medical requirements and is safer than childbirth, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Studies show the risk of maternal death associated with childbirth is about 14 times higher than the risk associated with abortion.

But there are also other laws that advocates say are meant to discourage or frustrate those seeking abortion care, such as mandatory vaginal exams, waiting periods, or a requirement that the same physician must see an abortion medication patient over two subsequent visits. Some of those laws were passed over decades and helped drive abortion providers away, including in Missouri.

As a result, even though Missourians overturned the ban, abortion care remains difficult to obtain, and many are still leaving the state to get it, according to Missouri Independent.

“Because constitutional amendments don’t overturn conflicting laws, people can still experience injuries under these laws,” said Prachi Dave, senior managing legal and policy director at If/When/How, a reproductive rights legal services and advocacy organization. “For example, if a waiting period is interfering with my ability to access the care I am guaranteed under the newly passed amendment, then I would ask a judge to affirm that the law is getting in the way of my right. In doing so, lawsuits give practical effect to constitutional amendments.”

In a Michigan lawsuit led by advocacy groups, a judge ruled in May that a mandatory waiting period was unconstitutional after voters approved an initiative codifying reproductive rights.

Wendy Heipt, attorney for advocacy organization Legal Voice in Washington, said even if some laws were ruled unconstitutional, they may have to be litigated again because the basis for the unconstitutional argument relied on the Roe v. Wade case that the U.S. Supreme Court overturned almost four years ago.

Heipt frequently works on cases in Idaho, where many lawsuits over the state’s near-total abortion ban have taken place in the past three years. Though still in effect, there is an effort to overturn the ban via ballot in November.

The initiative is different from those approved in Arizona and Missouri because people in Idaho cannot submit constitutional amendments—only proposed state laws—for ballot consideration directly.

Melanie Folwell, lead organizer of the reproductive rights initiative in Idaho, said even if successful, it’s only one leg of a long race in restoring access. The initiative group, Idahoans United for Women and Families, drafted a bill that would have repealed existing abortion laws, but it was too long and legally complicated for the ballot. Instead, what they’ve come up with for voters is meant to establish a right to reproductive health privacy without undue government interference and override existing laws.

The outcome of Missouri’s trial could be instructive for Idaho abortion-rights advocates, because the political environments are similar. Idaho has a lengthy list of its own waiting periods for abortion care, mandatory counseling, and ultrasound requirements, and elected officials in the Republican-led state have repeatedly signaled their opposition to abortion access, including the attorney general. The legislature also has a Republican supermajority.

And since it can’t be a constitutional amendment, any new law may be more vulnerable to legal challenges.

“There are things to learn from every one of the states that have reproductive access on the ballot, which is 17 states at this point,” Folwell said. “It is always instructive for us to see what plays out in that state’s legislature, what plays out with their courts.”

Myrick said the legal battles can feel discouraging, but voters shouldn’t let it stop them from using their voices to make their policy preferences known.

“Ballot measures are not the silver bullet. We need a lot of follow-up to make these rights real. And the attempts to keep these restrictions after the voters have spoken are blatantly anti-democratic, but they’re still happening,” Myrick said.

This story was originally reported by Kelcie Moseley-Morris for News From the States. News From the States is a part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity.

The post Trials Show Successful Ballot Initiatives Are Only the Beginning of Restoring Abortion Access appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Trials, Show, Successful, Ballot, Initiatives, Are, Only, the, Beginning, Restoring, Abortion, Access", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/successful-ballot-initiatives-web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/20/trials-show-successful-ballot-initiatives-are-only-the-beginning-of-restoring-abortion-access/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 09:56:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "145810", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The 6 Things That Predict Divorce", "title_slug": "the-6-things-that-predict-divorce", "title_hash": "de2f0a9797da9309d83005b9d58c2ebc", "summary": "The first step to improving your marriage is understanding why relationships fail.\nThe post The 6 Things That Predict Divorce appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

The first step to improving your marriage is understanding why relationships fail.

The post The 6 Things That Predict Divorce appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Things, That, Predict, Divorce", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/fall.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-6-things-that-predict-divorce/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 09:35:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "145724", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Picking Up Girls Who (Think They) Don't Want to Be Picked Up, Part 1: Girls in Big Groups", "title_slug": "picking-up-girls-who-think-they-dont-want-to-be-picked-up-part-1-girls-in-big-groups", "title_hash": "d0d3a5e2601495206b43dc0bdbe31042", "summary": "How do you pick up a girl in a big group when she isn’t interested? Well, you’re going to have to win over her group, while IGNORING her, first.\nThere are men of various persuasions when it comes to seduction.\nThe majority of men fall into the camp known as ‘satisficers’:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"picking$ How do you pick up a girl in a big group when she isn’t interested? Well, you’re going to have to win over her group, while IGNORING her, first.

There are men of various persuasions when it comes to seduction.

The majority of men fall into the camp known as ‘satisficers’:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Picking, Girls, Who, Think, They, Dont, Want, Picked, Part, Girls, Big, Groups", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/picking-up-girls-who-dont-want-to-be-picked-up-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/picking-girls-who-think-they-dont-want-be-picked-part-1-girls-big-groups", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 09:15:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "145722", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Unique Valentine's Day Gifts 2026", "title_slug": "unique-valentines-day-gifts-2026", "title_hash": "ea1d005e2efb62424e24c090a15fbe9f", "summary": "Stray from the typical Valentine's Day path with these original gifts for him and her.", "content": "If you're someone who struggles to come up with personalized gifts, or even struggles to remember significant holidays (February 14th, every darn year, but Valentine's Day still manages to surprise us!), we've got a proposition for you: ditch the conventional, cliché gifts and pick out something truly unique.\nWhether your significant other underplays the occasion or has high expectations when it comes to gifts for Valentine's Day, you'd be well off having a little something special ready when the day of love rolls around. That said, typical Valentine's Day gifts for her tend to be really predictable: flowers, chocolates, and a boring piece of jewelry again? And hardly anyone is even paying attention to the market for Valentine's Day gifts for him, which is really unfortunate.\nBut in the effort to show your affection for that special someone, it seems there's an increasing amount of pressure to give the \"perfect\" gift. On the one hand, you could go too small and risk facing disappointment. On the other, you could go too big and wind up spending your rent money on fancy jewelry that may totally miss the mark. And that's definitely not in the spirit of Cupid's holiday.\nRELATED: Let the Sparks Fly With These Romantic AF Valentine's Day Presents\nSo what's the solution? Well, readjusting that arrow and aiming for something that's thoughtful and unique is sure to go a long way. And with that in mind, we've put together a list of the best unique Valentine's Day gifts. Whether you've been together for years or you just started dating and haven't yet taken the relationship plunge, there's bound to be a cool Valentine's gift below that they're going to love.\n\nUnique Valentine's Day Gift Ideas\n\nWildFlower x For Love & Lemons Cupid Dot iPhone Case\n\nThe gorgeous iPhone case, the product of a collaboration between casemakers WildFlower and fashion label For Love & Lemons, famous for their frilly dresses and sexy lingerie, is both practical and visually stunning, a tribute to love and Valentine's Day featuring hearts, roses, cherubs and cherries. And don't think that they neglected functionality, either: the sandblasted polyurethane outer shell does a fantastic job keeping your iPhone safe and scratch-free.\n$53 at WildFlowerCases.com \nFirstleaf Subscription\n\nWhether they're a wine connoisseur or simply have an appreciation for a good glass of pinot noir, a gift from Firstleaf is sure to make 'em cheer(s). A personalized subscription service based on members’ \"wineprint\" (individual taste preferences based on your answers to a quick quiz), Firstleaf offers access to under-the-radar, high-quality wines sourced from around the world. \nFind out more at Firstleaf.com\nThe Million Roses Single White Suede Box Red Rose\n\nWant to give her flowers but don't want to show up with a conventional bouquet? This rose-in-a-box concept is a great alternative, with more than 20 different color options and the option to add a customizable message. Elegant, simple & romantic — we guarantee she'll love it.\n$82 at TheMillionRoses.com \nCustom Couple Portrait\n\n\nPossibly the most thoughtful gift on the list, this custom couple portrait is hand-drawn using photos you provide to capture the unique characteristics of you and your significant other (and pets, if you want). Once completed, the high-resolution digital file will be sent to your email so you can print it at home — or someplace like Staples — and present it in a special frame.\n\n\nFrom $5.20 at Etsy.com\nLa Boule Dinnerware Set\n\nPart work of art and part porcelain kitchenware, this dinnerware set from La Boule looks equally elegant when stacked on a side table or set out for a romantic dinner for two. It's available in 7 different color varieties, with each set including two bowls, two pasta bowls, two dinner plates and a serving tray.\n$479.99 at Villeroy-Boch.com\nThe Kissing Mugs\n\nWhat better way to start your morning than with a kiss? Maybe a hot cup of coffee sipped in bed from this affectionate pair would step things up a notch. Separately, each porcelain mug looks like a friendly face, but they just so happen to fit together perfectly, like you and your love.\n$50 at UncommonGoods.com\nHerschel Chapter Toiletry Kit\n\nPlanning a weekend getaway for your Valentine? Make the big reveal by slipping tickets or reservation details into this attractive travel pouch that can stash all their necessities when you whisk them away. The gender-neutral design is available in a ton of colors and prints to suit their style, and it could also serve as a not-so-subtle invitation if you'd like them to spend some more \"overnights\" (wink, wink) at your place.\n$45 at Amazon.com\nSereneScent Amalfi Bliss \n\n\nThe Amalfi Coast is one of the most beautiful places on earth, combining unforgettable coastal scenery with the natural beauty of Italy, so it stands to reason that a scent inspired that location would be equally spectacular. SereneScents Amalfi Bliss bottles up the sea breeze, with notes of citrusy lemon groves, magnolia and rose geranium for good measure, livening up any room or office.\n$59.99 at HoMedics.com\nWarmies Microwavable Slippers\n\nAnyone with chronically cold feet knows the struggle, especially during those cold winter nights. These cozy, lavender-scented slippers can be popped right in the microwave to warm up their toes in a hurry. What’s more, the soothing scent will lull them into a state of bliss after a long, stressful day.\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\nThe Challenge Book for Couples\n\n\nWe get it. It's hard to come up with new and interesting stuff to do these days. So if your relationship could use an infusion of spontaneity and romance, this interactive book is packed with 132 creative dates to keep that spark alive, no matter your age or how long you've been dating. \n$12.90 at Amazon.com\nPersonalized Custom Engraved Wood Guitar Pick\n\nIf your partner is a guitarist, this personalized pick is a sweet and simple gift to show your love. You can have it engraved with their initials or a loving message like \"I pick you,\" and you can add a significant date or even the coordinates of where you met (or \"picked\") each other. Feel free to make it as sentimental as you want.\nFrom $9.50 at Etsy.com\nCheese of the World Sampler\n\nYou might think this one's a little cheesy, but anyone who loves a good charcuterie board will certainly find this gift to be a welcome surprise (especially if you pair it with a great bottle of red). You can also opt for the Cheese of the Month subscription, which will curate and deliver a new selection of cheese to their door on a monthly basis.\n$85 at MurraysCheese.com\nRent the Runway\n\nWhile a designer handbag or dress might be way outside of your Valentine's Day budget, you can still give them the gift of luxury with a subscription to Rent the Runway. After your partner sets up their profile, they can browse through the thousands of designer products and select items to rent for a limited period of time. It's especially thoughtful if there’s a special event coming up or a milestone birthday celebration, or maybe even fancy dinner plans that you'd be keen to arrange.\nFind out more at RentTheRunway.com\nSur La Table Cooking Classes\n\nYou can't go wrong with the gift of quality time together... or food. (After all, everyone has to eat, right?) Whether you two are dedicated foodies or novices in the kitchen, you're sure to have a blast whipping up a new dish in one of Sur la Table's interactive cooking classes taught by experienced chefs and teachers. From sushi to Sicilian cuisine, breakfast to dessert, there are a number of classes to choose from both in-store and online.\nFind out more at SurLaTable.com\nBook of the Month Club Subscription\n\nInstead of wracking your brain trying to remember whether or not they've already read the book or seen its movie, sign 'em up for a Book of the Month Club subscription. Each month, your partner will be able to pick one read from five options (they put an emphasis on picking fresh perspectives and new releases), and they can opt to skip a month at any time.\nFind out more at BookOfTheMonth.com\nFor Love & Lemons Glitter Slip Dress\n\n\nNot every present has to be just for her, right? The Glitter Slip Dress from For Love & Lemons might not be work-appropriate, but it's guaranteed to make her and you smile, and that's what Valentine's Day is all about. We especially love the rhinestone embellishments and keyhole cutouts, both of which add a sense of sultry playfulness to the dress. \n$169 at ForLoveAndLemons.com\nKodak Luma 350 Projector\n\n\nAt-home movie nights just got better. This pocket-sized projector comes packed with 4K picture quality, vibrant color quality, and bright LED lighting, with a maximum screen size of 150\". Whether he's trying to play something from a phone (iOS or Android), tablet, laptop, HDMI, or USB, this projector will connect effortlessly, and its built-in speakers will take care of the sound.\n$349.98 at Amazon.com\nWhere Should We Begin Card Game\n\nIf you’re a couple who likes to play games — board games, we mean, not mind games — then podcaster and author Esther Perel’s card game might be just the ticket this V-Day. It’s a means of helping romantic partners open up with each other, with 30 prompt cards and 250 story cards to get the words (and possibly the juices) flowing.\n$40 at EstherPerel.com\nMasterClass All-Access Pass\n\nIf one of their New Year's resolutions was to learn something new, the gift of an all-access pass to MasterClass will be welcomed with open arms. From cooking with Gordon Ramsay to basketball techniques with Steph Curry to movies with Martin Scorsese, there is a class to suit all hobbies and interests.\nFind out more at MasterClass.com\nTinggly Experiences\n\nWhat’s better than a great Valentine’s Day gift? A great Valentine’s Day memory. Surprise your special someone with an experience of your choosing through Tinggly, which lets you pick from a smorgasbord of different options (for couples or for your partner) to explore, like hotels, city getaways, and more.\nFind out more at Tinggly.com\nBouqs Succulents\n\nSkip the standard bouquet and get your special someone something that will last for years to come. Bouqs offers a range of romantic succulents for you to choose from, so you can pick the perfect plant for your partner. Best of all, they require very little maintenance, so no worries if your love happens to lack a green thumb.\nFrom $59 at Bouqs.com\nAesop Resurrection Aromatique Hand Wash\n\nStep into any trendy restaurant bathroom and you’ll probably notice they all have the same apothecary-style hand wash: Aesop. This Australian hand wash is well-loved for its earthy scent and luxurious ingredients that lock in moisture, even through the dry winter months. The best part? If the two of you live together, you’ll get the benefit of super soft hands as well.\n$46 at Nordstrom.com\nRELATED: Valentine's Day Gifts for Him\nBespoke Post Subscription\n\nFeaturing monthly themed boxes stuffed with unique products collected from local and international hot spots, the men's lifestyle membership grants access to limited-edition goodies (think cocktail and cooking sets) at a discounted rate and advanced previews of new releases. Members can pause or opt out at any time, and shipping is always free.\n$59 at BespokePost.com\nCustom Starry Maps Print\n\nIt’s been said that we’re all under the same sky, but that’s not quite true — every place on Earth gets a different view of the stars. So why not celebrate your love together with a custom map of the night sky from one of your special nights together? It’s a beautiful and poetic way of marking your relationship’s place in the vastness of the universe.\nFrom $60 at StarryMaps.com\nAeropress Coffee Maker\n\nWhile it looks like a detailed process, an Aeropress is a surprisingly low-maintenance way to brew espresso or regular coffee. The microfiltered immersion process makes completely bitter-free, flavorful coffee, so it's perfect for the man or woman who just can't start their day without a great cup o' Joe.\n$34.96 at Amazon.com\nUpko F*ck Me Leather Handcuffs\n\nHave you been meaning to get into the rough stuff a little in the bedroom? Make good on your promise in a way that’s both classy and also sexy with this gorgeous pair of leather cuffs from Upko. They’re chic, they’re expensive, and they’re begging to be put on someone’s wrists after they’ve been naughty.\n$211.03 at UpkoUSA.com\nINFMETRY Capsule Letters\n\nThis may look like a doctor’s prescription on the outside, but it’s actually a prescription for love. (OK, we admit, that was even cheesier than the Cheese of the World Sampler.) But seriously, this sweet and sentimental collection of capsules allows you to write micro-sized love letters in each one. So, whenever they’re feeling down, all they have to do is pull one out for a reminder of how much they’re loved.\n$12.99 at Amazon.com\nSaje Aroma Om Diffuser\n\nEssential oil diffusers are a subtle, beautiful way to seriously enhance your life by adding a dose of olfactory beauty to your day. This one from Saje is not only easy to use and capable of adding a little je-ne-sais-quoi to the mood but it also looks beautiful — like a little modern art sculpture.\n$124 at Saje.com\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tValentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\n\t15 Ways to Treat Yourself on Valentine's Day\n\tCheap Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him", "keywords": "Unique, Valentines, Day, Gifts, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/valentines_day/gifts_to_get/unique-valentine-s-day-gifts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-14-1768842415.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/valentines_day/gifts_to_get/unique-valentine-s-day-gifts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 09:15:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "145723", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Are Stomach Vacuums the Secret to Sculpted Abs - or Just Hype?", "title_slug": "are-stomach-vacuums-the-secret-to-sculpted-abs-or-just-hype", "title_hash": "c1e48267e1082eb58cce7076bdac9ddd", "summary": "It Turns Out That There's More Than Mere Vanity Backing Up This Classic Bodybuilding Move", "content": "Every once in a while, an exercise move goes viral due to its visually arresting nature, whether that’s a pistol squat, a plyometric push-up – or, more recently, a stomach vacuum. \nIf you’re unfamiliar with the term, stomach vacuums involve drawing your abs in until your stomach looks concave. You may have seen bodybuilders perform them on stage to showcase their physique.\nRELATED: 5 Fat Loss Principles to Help You Drop Weight Fast\nBut what exactly does a stomach vacuum entail? Can incorporating the move into your routine really shrink your waistline, or is that claim more hype than substance? Here’s what you need to know about the core exercise.\n \n\nWhat Is a Stomach Vacuum?\n\n \nDenise Chakoian, certified trainer and founder of CORE Cycle and Fitness LaGree, describes the stomach vacuum as a “breathing-based training movement that targets the transverse abdominis (TVA), the internal ‘corset’ that supports your spine and stabilizes your torso.” \nThe TVA is the deepest layer of your core and sits beneath the superficial ab muscles that give the appearance of a six-pack. It wraps around your abdomen and spans from your lower ribs to your pelvis. A stomach vacuum engages the TVA through the use of intentional breathing. It’s an isometric exercise, which means you’re contracting the muscle statically.\n \n“There’s no crunching or moving. You’re exhaling all the way, gently pulling the belly button inward toward your spine, and bracing in that contraction while breathing calmly and regularly,” adds Chakoian. \nThe principles behind the stomach vacuum exercise are foundational in Pilates and often used by pelvic floor physiotherapists. The stomach vacuum is sometimes called abdominal hollowing, abdominal drawing-in maneuver (ADIM) or hypopressive breathing. There’s also a type of yogic breathing called Uddiyana Bandha, or the abdominal lock, which is very similar.\n \n\nDo Stomach Vacuums Shrink Your Waist?\n\n \nBut can stomach vacuums give you a flatter stomach like some TikTokers claim? Anouska Shenn, founder at The Office Yoga Company, says it depends on your expectations. “Stomach vacuums alone aren’t going to shrink your waist or flatten your stomach, and they won’t give you a six-pack, either. But they will teach you to strongly activate your deep core muscles.” \nResearch shows moves like stomach vacuums strengthen the TVA, which improves strength and stability. This gives you the foundation to use your core more effectively, whether you’re training or just going about your day.\n \n“By working your internal abdominal muscles and pelvic floor, stomach vacuums help improve core stability and posture, and can give your stomach a slimmer look,” notes Megan Hely, owner and lead personal trainer at Hustle N Muscles. \nUltimately, losing belly fat requires more than core engagement – it’s about losing overall body fat through your lifestyle, which includes a healthy diet and exercise. But when stomach vacuums are paired with other efforts, they can contribute to the appearance of a trim waist.\n\nHow to Perform the Stomach Vacuum Correctly\n\nTo do stomach vacuums correctly, you first have to master your breathing. You need to learn how to breathe “laterally,” says Shenn, referring to a Pilates breathing technique that involves using your diaphragm to direct breath into the sides of your ribcage. \nTo get the hang of what that feels like in your body, close your eyes and visualize your TVA being a corset that wraps around your sides and midsection. Place your hands on your ribs and think of them expanding to the side as you inhale and going back in as you exhale.\n \n“Try to keep your front ribs soft as you do this. As you exhale, the feeling is like you're tightening a belt, or trying to squeeze into a small pair of jeans,” says Shenn. Once you feel comfortable with that part of the movement, you can try the exhaling part of a stomach vacuum, which is what gives the exercise its distinct look. \nTake an inhale using the lateral breathing mentioned above, and, this time, pull your abs in and up as you exhale fully. “Create a seal by not letting any air enter or leave your nose or mouth. Try to relax your muscles, and the vacuum effect should happen on its own,” adds Shen. When you need to take another breath in, just release the seal and allow the inhale to occur.”\n \nYou can do the stomach vacuum exercise lying down, sitting down, kneeling on all fours or face down, according to MedicalNewsToday. “If you're just starting out, lying down will be the easiest place to begin,” notes Shenn. \n\nPotential Risks of Stomach Vacuums\n\n \nYou may be wondering if stomach vacuums are safe. For the most part, they are, but because performing them effectively involves breathwork, there are potential risks to consider. \n“Certain pre-existing health conditions such as high blood pressure, glaucoma and hernias can be contraindications for breathwork,” says Shenn, who adds that performing stomach vacuums can also cause lightheadedness.\n \nFor that reason, it’s a good idea to sit or lie down while trying them for the first time. Hely notes that you should also be mindful of not holding your breath while performing them, which is a common mistake. \nHow often should you do stomach vacuums? Both Hely and Shenn agree that three times a week is a good starting point.\n \nThat said, if you’re still unsure about doing them at all, it’s OK. Stomach vacuums aren’t essential to having a well-rounded fitness routine. There’s a lot of hype around them – and while it’s not all fluff and they come with benefits for your core, they won’t magically give you six-pack abs either.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nHow to Get Six-Pack AbsWhy You Struggle to Lose WeightHow to Get Ripped", "keywords": "Are, Stomach, Vacuums, the, Secret, Sculpted, Abs, Just, Hype", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/are-stomach-vacuums-the-secret-to-sculpted-abs-or-just-hype/askmen-lead-image-2x1-8-1768592054.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/are-stomach-vacuums-the-secret-to-sculpted-abs-or-just-hype.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-20 09:15:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "145341", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Lose Weight With a Calorie Deficit", "title_slug": "how-to-lose-weight-with-a-calorie-deficit", "title_hash": "d18dfdd1e007d956c1d5fc9adb3567d4", "summary": "Resolved to Lose Weight? Here's How to Manipulate Your Diet for the Fastest Results", "content": "Losing fat is simple (in theory). If you use more calories than you eat you will eventually lower your body fat. It’s called a “Calorie Deficit” and it really is that simple.\nBut why are gyms the world over not filled with men walking around with 9% body fat and visible six-pack abs? What part of the plan goes wrong? To answer this we must delve into the Laws of Thermodynamics — the branch of physics that relates to “energy” — along with tips and tricks from one of the best fitness models in the world...\nRELATED: How to Lose Weight by Walking\n\nWe Have Always Known How to Lose Fat\n\nBack in 1937, the great Benjamin Franklin was quoted as saying, “To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.” Fast forward to the present and scientists from the University of Colorado wrote an article that expanded on Mr. Franklin's quote.\nThe research concluded that an understanding of calorie deficits and energy balances may help to reduce obesity rates. But what’s interesting is that they add, “Behavior changes are needed to produce and maintain reductions in body weight.\" Basically, they are stating the obvious — that the world’s best diet (with the perfect caloric equation) is useless unless you can stick to it.\nIt's an idea echoed by the International Journal of Obesity, which found there was no perfect nutrition plan. Instead they concluded that regardless of the diet, the dieters who saw the most improvement were the ones who were better at sticking to it. “These results suggest that strategies to increase adherence may deserve more emphasis than the specific diet.”\nAgain, your diet and calorie deficit doesn’t matter, but enjoying it and adhering to it does.\nSo how do we “increase adherence”? I decided to fuse nutritional science with the teachings of a friend and celebrated fitness expert Shaun Stafford to find out. Shaun is the only athlete to win the WBFF Pro Fitness Model World Championship multiple times — basically, there aren’t many humans with less body fat than Shaun. He's perfected and turned the calorie deficit into an art form over the years.\n\nYour Maintenance Calorie Number Explained\n\nThe number of calories you need per day is known as your maintenance calorie number. It’s often quoted that men need 2,500 calories per day and women need 2,000 calories. But the truth is that there are so many variables to take into account which means this is far from accurate. Yes, there are online tools that will help to calculate yours, but this is a theoretical number and will vary a lot depending on your daily activity levels, age, height, weight, food choices and far more.\nBasically the Law of Biological Individuality teaches us that we are all different shapes, therefore the size of our calorie intake should be different.\nTaking me and Shaun as an example, he’s 30 years old, stands 6'0\" and weighs 195 lbs. He is also the founder of City Athletic, a gym in central London where he trains clients. His maintenance calorie number is 2,925 per day, which works out to 15 calories per pound of his bodyweight. On top of that, Shaun will aim for a 500 calorie deficit per day, but stresses, “I prefer to work off 3,500 calories per week.”\nIn contrast, I am like a calorie-hungry hobbit. That’s because I’m 30 years old but stand 5’9” and weigh 210 lbs. I have also just finished running 30 marathons in 30 days, during which my maintenance calorie number was 6,454 calories per day. Although I had no intention of creating a calorie deficit, the sheer amount of calories I was burning while doing my challenge meant that I was nevertheless losing fat. This is why I often say, “Be calorie conscious, but don’t count them.”\nDespite mine and Shaun’s different lifestyles and dietary needs, we’ve both learnt to practice the words preached by Benjamin Franklin, the University of Colorado and the International Journal of Obesity. We both knew our theoretical maintenance calorie number and we're able to use it to create a calorie deficit.\n\nYour Calorie Deficit Explained\n\nSo what calorie deficit should you be aiming for? There are two different approaches you could use. \n1) Pick a Number (500 Calories) and Stick to It\nThis is how most people set a deficit. According to the International Journal of Obesity this is where you decide you want to lose a certain amount of fat per week. Typically this is around 1 pound per week, and since 1 pound of fat has about 3,500 calories you’d need to be in a calorie deficit of 500 per day.\nFor most people this works because it’s simple and achievable.\nThe problem is that this size deficit might be too aggressive for some and too slow for others. If you’re already maintaining your weight at 2,000 calories per day, cutting your food intake by 25% might be too drastic. In contrast, if you maintain your weight at 4,000 calories per day, you might be able to achieve a faster rate of fat loss with a larger calorie deficit.\n2) Pick a Number Based on a Percentage (20%)\nTake your maintenance calorie number and subtract 20%. If your maintenance calorie number works out at 2,000 per day and you cut this by 20%, it means you’ll be slashing your calorie intake by 400 calories a day (giving you a calorie intake of 1,600). Many believe this is a better approach since it scales your calorie intake to your energy needs.\nPeople with a higher maintenance calorie number will be able to eat more and lose fat. People with a lower maintenance calorie number will have a smaller deficit that’s more appropriate for their calorie intake.\n\nFour Important Things to Consider for Optimal Fat Loss\n\nWhichever method you choose to set your calorie deficit, there are four things to consider:\n1. Fast vs. Slow\nA larger calorie deficit will produce the highest rates of fat loss. Therefore, severely cutting calories will mean you reach your body fat goal quicker. But the problem is that people often cut too many calories which, according to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, can actually slow down your metabolism. \n2. Big vs. Small Deficits\nSome people are better at sticking to small deficits and some people prefer large ones. Smaller deficits are usually easier to maintain as, according to the Journal of American Dietetic Association, they’re “kinder” on the body, not as severe and allow you to better manage your appetite and hunger.\nLarger deficits are thought to be harder to stick to as they require more exercise and/or food restriction and are generally harder to achieve. But to offer a different perspective, the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that because larger deficits help you lose weight faster, for some people they’re more effective because of the more obvious and rapid results. Ask yourself (again, honestly) what suits your needs and lifestyle limitations.\n3. Performace vs. Fat Loss\nAccording to the Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, large deficits make it harder to train and recover from workouts. In some cases, the negative effects of a calorie deficit aren’t worth the dip in performance. Even if you’re not a performance athlete, maintaining the intensity of your strength workouts is essential for preserving your lean muscle mass while dieting — which is why I conclude this article with point 4, perhaps the most valuable of them all.\n4. Mix Up Your Calorie Deficit \nYou don’t need to use the same deficit for your entire diet.\nIt’s one thing that Shaun and I have learnt to do. In fact, if Shaun ever feels he’s created to high a calorie deficit he will use the opportunity to “re-feed” with his favorite food: ice cream. For me, depending on what I’m training for, I’ll jump between a low, moderate and high calorie deficit and might:\n\n\tStart with a larger deficit and move toward a smaller deficit\n\tStart with a smaller deficit and move toward a larger deficit\n\tHave some days where you’re in a much larger deficit and other days with less severe deficits.\n\nBasically Shaun and I use whatever size deficit suits our lifestyles at the time.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nEverything You Need to Know About Heart Rate ZonesBest Fitness Trackers & WatchesHow Often Should You Do Cardio?", "keywords": "How, Lose, Weight, With, Calorie, Deficit", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/mastering-the-law-of-fat-loss/askmen-lead-image-2x1-11-1768835984.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/mastering-the-law-of-fat-loss.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 10:26:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "145109", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Detroit Heard King’s Dream First. These Black Women Are Carrying It Forward.", "title_slug": "detroit-heard-kings-dream-first-these-black-women-are-carrying-it-forward", "title_hash": "963e0e5d02c262549c43378cb18ba2f7", "summary": "Alpha Kappa Alpha's Lambda Pi Omega chapter folds Martin Luther King Jr.'s civil rights history into a day of service that stretches far beyond the federal holiday.\nThe post Detroit Heard King’s Dream First. These Black Women Are Carrying It Forward. appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This story was originally reported by Ebony JJ Curry of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with The 19th News Network.

Detroit was the first place Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered an early version of what would become his “I Have a Dream” speech. He recited it on June 23, 1963, at the end of Detroit’s Walk to Freedom, a march that happened weeks before he spoke on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.

This piece of Detroit-first history sharpens what Martin Luther King Jr. Day asks of the city. It’s harder to treat the holiday, celebrated on Monday, as a slogan when the dream was first spoken aloud in Detroit. It’s also harder to see it as a day off when a lot of people choose to mark it every year as a day on.

The Lambda Pi Omega (LPO) chapter of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated, is one of the Detroit institutions built around that belief.

Their members measure the weeks before Martin Luther King Jr. Day in labor. They assemble toiletry kits for Detroiters without stable housing, volunteer their time to youth programs focused on combating hunger and fostering leadership skills, and step into the gaps families are already navigating, like hunger and lack of resources. Crystal Sewell, the chapter’s president, said the work is rooted in service that isn’t just a once-a-year thing.

“Our work really is about uplifting our community; that is really at the heart of what we do,” Sewell said. “It is sisterhood and service for the betterment of our local community, that’s really the essence and the spirit of our chapter.”

This year, LPO will spend Martin Luther King Jr. Day at Third New Hope Baptist Church on Detroit’s west side for its annual “We Are One” AKA Day of Service. Sorority members plan to assemble 1,908 toiletry bags for Detroit Rescue Mission Ministries, a local nonprofit that provides emergency shelter and support services, including housing programs for families and people working toward recovery. The specificity in the number of kits is intentional: 1,908 reflects AKA’s founding year, 1908. After the event, the bags will be delivered to the rescue mission’s family shelter and recovery housing sites.

The chapter’s service calendar stays full throughout the year, Sewell said.

“If I were to add it up, I would say we participate in at least 10 volunteer opportunities per month,” she said. “So, you’re talking 100 to 150 volunteer service opportunities per year. There are several hours that go into our volunteerism, over 2,000 hours per year.”

LPO is part of the Divine Nine—nine historically Black fraternities and sororities under the National Pan-Hellenic Council, founded when Black students, excluded from White Greek systems, created their own organizations around scholarship, leadership, and service.

Dr. King was part of that tradition.

He was initiated into Boston’s Sigma chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha in June 1952. Alpha Phi Alpha (APA) was founded in 1906 as the first Black Greek-letter fraternity; AKA is the first Black Greek-letter sorority.

AKA’s purpose statement includes a directive members repeat as a standard: to be of “service to all mankind.”

Jacqueline Newman has spent decades living by that. She became an AKA member in 1970 at Wayne State University. When the sorority’s LPO chapter was chartered in Detroit in 1977, she became a founding charter member. She now serves as the chapter historian.

“What we do is we try to help, whenever we can, wherever we can,” Newman said. “We love children, so we are in different schools to help feed students. We’ve clothed students. We’ve given Thanksgiving baskets. We’ve given scholarships, and it was not only to women or girls. It has been to men also. And no matter your race. That’s what I look at as service to all mankind, to all people that are in need. That’s what we do.”

Newman’s own timeline begins in the South. She was 13 and living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, when Dr. King spoke in Detroit in 1963.

“I was part of the South that he was trying to free from civil rights injustices,” she said.

She moved to Detroit in 1965 with her family. “My mom and my dad were teachers and the employment was better here in Detroit,” Newman said. Her mother became a member of AKA in 1962; Newman described her own membership as legacy. “So, it was mainly a legacy for me. I followed in my mom’s footsteps.”

Her history of service began before she joined AKA. In the South, she said, “I saw so many injustices done, especially to our people. I was marching and doing civil rights things when I was 11, 12, 13 years old before I came here to Michigan.”

Those experiences compelled her to action—“you don’t want anybody else to have to go through what you went through,” Newman said.

“When you have seen a man hung on a tree, it hits you a little more,” Newman said. “If you have lived through it, it’s different.”

Detroit remembers Dr. King’s dream speech because it heard it early. Lambda Pi Omega is betting its Martin Luther King Jr. Day on a simpler goal: what gets done, who gets served, and whether the work continues when the holiday ends.

As Sewell said, service is about direct support and long-term civic work.

“Service for me is about uplifting others within our community who are of greatest need,” she said. “It is advocating for social justice, making sure our community is informed and educated and registered to vote and getting out to vote, thinking about the whole of the individual, from cradle to senior.”

$\"\"$

The post Detroit Heard King’s Dream First. These Black Women Are Carrying It Forward. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Detroit, Heard, King’s, Dream, First., These, Black, Women, Are, Carrying, Forward.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/pixel.19thnews.org/2026/01/martin-luther-king-jr-black-women-sorority-service?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/19/detroit-heard-kings-dream-first-these-black-women-are-carrying-it-forward/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 10:03:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144634", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Calibration Sweet Spot: How to Avoid Undergaming and Overgaming", "title_slug": "the-calibration-sweet-spot-how-to-avoid-undergaming-and-overgaming", "title_hash": "6ed9efa5607954f42e67c3a55bc10e2c", "summary": "Finding the precise balance in your approach is the key to consistent results. This guide helps you diagnose and correct the common pitfalls of both undergaming and overgaming.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"finding$ Finding the precise balance in your approach is the key to consistent results. This guide helps you diagnose and correct the common pitfalls of both undergaming and overgaming.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Calibration, Sweet, Spot:, How, Avoid, Undergaming, and, Overgaming", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/avoid-undergaming-overgaming-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/calibration-sweet-spot-how-avoid-undergaming-and-overgaming", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:16:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144632", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Boxing Apps", "title_slug": "best-boxing-apps", "title_hash": "d64db064d0a8d313aa93bc6ccf299a17", "summary": "Build a Fighter's Physique From the Comfort of Home With These Top Boxing Workout Apps", "content": "I made my professional boxing debut over a decade ago, but not only do I still use boxing as an exercise tool, I also utilize the lessons it teaches to help guide me throughout my life. And because of major advancements in technology, you don't actually have to step into a boxing gym or ring to get most of the benefits. \nRELATED: How to Get Ripped\nA lesson you will learn from boxing is to roll with the punches, something we all have to do to get on in life, and as many of us continue to look for new, creative ways to get or stay fit, I wanted to share a way to do an at-home boxing workout. \nBoxing is a great workout option because it can be done with minimal equipment, by yourself or with a partner, and it works your entire body. A boxing workout will not only reduce stress and increase self-defense skills, but also help you to reach those New Year's resolutions in a fun and interactive way. \nWith that being said, the following are my top five recommendations for apps that will help you to gain or build boxing and self-defense skills: \nKickboxing Fitness Workout\n\n\nThis app teaches martial arts skills to improve self-defense, stamina, and coordination, among others, in a group class setting. It features beginner, intermediate, and advanced levels with 3D models that were developed by a certified personal trainer.\nThis free app offers a bevy of useful features and instruction, making it a great place for anyone to get in a total-body workout, but you can upgrade and personalize your experience with some of the paid extras. \nCheck it out here\nPunchLab: Boxing Workouts \n\n\nPunchLab tracks your punches during combat or martial arts workouts that were designed for boxing, MMA, Muay Thai, and kickboxing training. With a new workout added every week, you can continuously better yourself and learn new techniques.\nSubscriptions range from $10 per month with a quarterly commitment to $4 per month with a yearly commitment, and allow access to many features including: punch counter, punch meter, and a boxing timer. \nCheck it out here\nClassPass: Fitness Workout App \n\nWith choices including boxing, cycling, yoga, and more, this app gives you access to more than 25,000 studios and gyms. You can stream unlimited workouts, take classes with your friends, and track fitness goals along the way.\nClassPass gives you a free trial to get going and see if you like it, but after that, you can choose from a variety of monthly subscription packages starting at just $19/month. \nCheck it out here\nFightCamp Boxing Workouts\n\nFightCamp is a tool that will help you “hit your punch goals,” and climb up a leaderboard that will allow you to visualize your success with the push of competitiveness. With six trainers and new workouts added every week, the various and ever-changing workouts give you a chance to not only perfect your form but target different areas of your body.\nWhile this app may be on the pricier end, around $39 per month, there are various financing options available. \nCheck it out here\nHeavy Bag Pro \n\n\nAlthough not just a boxing app, Heavy Bag Pro is a phenomenal tool for aspiring boxers, punchers, kickboxers, and Muay Thai fighters, or just the everyday man or woman looking to use these fighting styles to get in the best shape of their life. The app asks you to choose your preferred training style and then gives you the option of doing drills, HIIT workouts, partner workouts, or specific skill training focused on defense, offense, power, speed and mobility. The basic workouts are all free, but if you choose to upgrade, you can unlock workouts tailored by real-life boxing professionals and coaches.\nCheck it out here\nThese apps are a great place for someone who is beginning their boxing, exercise, or fitness journey. Now, I’m not saying you will become a professional boxer by using these apps, but if you are looking to get into boxing or change up your workout routine, give these a download. If you end up liking it, make your way to your local boxing ring once it's safe to do so and show off your new skills! \n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Workouts for Mental Health\n\tThe Top Garmin Fitness Trackers\n\tHow Nervous System Training Can Make You More Athletic", "keywords": "Best, Boxing, Apps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-boxing-apps/askmen-lead-image-2x1-4-1768579823.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-boxing-apps.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:16:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144633", "lang_id": "1", "title": "15 Ways to Treat Yo'self on Valentine's Day", "title_slug": "15-ways-to-treat-yoself-on-valentines-day", "title_hash": "d71a11448565d989401ae6e522a992aa", "summary": "Single on February 14th? Here's How to Show Yourself Some Love", "content": "Valentine's Day can be stressful for guys. There's a lot of pressure to find your significant other a great gift, something romantic and/or touching, plus plan a fun evening together. And figuring out how extravagant that gift should be, or how romantic and intimate that evening out should be, isn't easy and typically depends on the length of the relationship. But it's also stressful for single guys, who have to watch from the sidelines as couples everywhere have a good time. \nThere's no shame at all in being single on V-Day, but there is shame in wallowing in your singleness. Sure, you could spend the evening inside re-watching your favorite action movie with a bag of Doritos, or playing hours of your favorite computer game (also probably with a bag of Doritos), but we're here to bring your best self out, and that means celebrating the fact that you're single rather than bemoaning it. \nThat's right: we're giving you permission to spend on yourself, book yourself a day out, even pamper yourself. \nRELATED: What to Do Right After a Breakup, According to Experts\nThere's no shortage of fun, self-celebrating things you could do on February 14th, but to help spur your imagination. we've picked out 15 of our favorite ways to \"treat yo'self.\" Have at it!\n\n15 Different Things to Do When You're By Yourself on Valentine's Day\n\nTake a Spa Day\n\nMore and more men are going to spas every year. Women have been enjoying the facial and massage way of life for years, solo or with friends, so why shouldn't you pamper yourself in the most luxurious way possible? Look for a spa that offers not only massages but steam rooms, saunas and even cold plunges, and you can extend your stay after the massage, turning your trip into a mini wellness vacation.\nBreakfast in Bed\nWhat could be better than resting in bed while chowing down on breakfast? Whether it’s cooking up your favorite pancakes or calling your favorite local eatery for a decadent, delicious brunch of your choosing, take the time to stay cozy under the covers before, after, and most importantly, during your most important meal of the day.\nSee a Movie\nContrary to popular belief, there's absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a movie by yourself. Pick a movie you want to see, find the ideal seats, and then take the extra cash you would have spent on a second ticket to splurge on your favorite movie theater treats.\nTake a Cooking Class\n\nLearning to cook is one of the best skills a man can possess, making it easier to save money, improve your health and impress friends and romantic partners, so why not take those amateur skills you’ve been working on to the next level in 2024 by taking a cooking class?\nIn the past, this option was limited to men who lived in cities, but thanks to the wonders of the internet, there are now an endless array of online chefs willing to show you how to cook (we highly recommend the fun and engaging skills of New York Times’ author Alison Roman) via recorded lessons, or there are sophisticated MasterClass courses designed for your specific level of expertise.\nOrder In\nIf all of that cooking seems like the exact opposite of what treating yourself on Valentine’s Day should be, screw it. Find your favorite local restaurant, whether it's sushi or pizza or something fancy, and design your perfect menu. Because February 14th is a high-volume day for restaurants, we especially encourage you to schedule your order in advance, to avoid any delays.\nGet Out of Town\nIf you're stuck in a rut and tired of the same old, same old, this might be a perfect time to book yourself a mini trip. You can do an overnighter if you're really pressed for time, but we recommend taking a full weekend to leave your ordinary life behind. You might choose to go camping or you might want to head to the nearest hotel-and-casino to try your luck at the tables. Have it your way, baby. \nWork Out With the Boys\nPampering yourself doesn't have to mean eating and lounging. In fact, few things will make you feel as good after the fact as a vigorous workout. You can do this solo, of course, but we recommend calling up your friends or training buddies and tackling a group workout together. This could mean hitting up your local CrossFit gym or finding an experienced personal trainer to take you through an exhausting routine or even just doing a spin class. Whatever you do, we recommend you steer clear of your usual workout routine: if you normally lift weights, find a calisthenics option, and if you normally prefer to do cardio, get out of your comfort zone and lift some weights. \nDrink the Good Stuff\n\nIf you love a quality drink but find yourself going for the well liquor or the house wine, use Valentine’s Day as your opportunity to crack open the Reserve. Good scotch and cigars, small batch beer and pizza, or red wine and red meat — any one of these could be well worth the risk of a hangover in the morning.\nSplurge on Something Special\nSingle or not, there are some gifts you just want to get for yourself. It could be a made-to-measure suit, a luxury travel bag — hell, it could even be a car. Whatever it is, make Valentine’s Day the day you take the plunge and invest in whatever it is you want — within reason. You only live once, and if we had to guess, you are going to end up happy with your decision.\nPamper Your Pet\nLet’s be real here, sometimes a pet is the best Valentine a man could ask for. Take advantage of the day meant for your true love by pampering yours with a bubble bath, a blow out, and a bunch of play time. In recent years, almost 20 percent of all Valentine’s Day spending went toward a significant other of the furry persuasion. If you need some pet-friendly ideas, we have plenty of those too.\nGo on an Adventure\nWorking out is definitely fun but you can combine the physical aspect of the gym with an adventure component if you opt to go kayaking, hiking, rock climbing, sailing, etc. You'll get all the endorphin-based goodness of a gym session while also getting out of your routine and into the unexpected — sounds like a win-win to us. \nTurn Off Your Phone (Not Just to Vibrate)\n\nThis one may be easier said than done. Most of us remember a time when cell phones were there for our convenience instead of being the ones that called all the shots. Take the time to walk outside and hear the sounds of nature, find a new book, or dig out one you love and read it again, or start that meditating you’ve heard so much about. One study published by the Harvard Business Review states that just having your phone nearby can affect your brain in negative ways. Who knows? Valentine’s Day may be the start of a mind-altering tradition for the better.\nCatch Up on Sleep\nNo one gets enough sleep. Ever. If pomp and circumstance typically associated with Valentine's Day is a big turnoff, then why not just sleep? Turn off the TV, put away the snacks, and call it a night at an absurdly early hour. It sounds good already, doesn’t it?\nRent an Exotic Car\nOwning a high-end vehicle like a Ferrari or Lamborghini is absurdly expensive. It's not just the sticker price, which is exorbitant, or the cost of filling up the tank, which is eye-popping; it's mundane things like the monthly insurance premiums or the high cost of repairs. So what's a car lover to do? Rent one, for a day. It's surprisingly affordable, depending on the make and model and where you live, and we guarantee that revving that beauty up at a red light will put a smile on your face, girlfriend or no girlfriend.\nVisit a Museum or Art Gallery\n\nYou may be single, but that doesn't mean you can't experience some culture or expand your horizons. Wherever you live, we bet you're within driving distance of a natural history or art museum or gallery or some cultural equivalent, and we bet you've ignored this fact for years. Well, now is the time to expand your horizons. You can book a guided tour, if you want to really be informed, but we also recommend you take your time perusing the exhibits, reading about each display or work of art, and letting yourself get lost in the whole experience. \nValentine’s Day can be a drag when you're single, but it doesn't have to be. You are ultimately responsible for your mood, so switch up the script on yourself and choose to do something awesome this February 14th. We guarantee you'll be grateful you did, not only the next day but the next year. \nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tTop 7 Things to Do When You're a Single Guy\n\tThese V-Day Gifts for Him All Cost Less Than $50\n\tTips for Getting Over Your Ex", "keywords": ", Ways, Treat, Yoself, Valentines, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/15-ways-to-treat-yo-self-on-valentine-s-day/askmen-lead-image-2x1-5-1768576037.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/15-ways-to-treat-yo-self-on-valentine-s-day.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:16:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144630", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Kink-Shaming? (And Why You Should Avoid Doing It)", "title_slug": "what-is-kink-shaming-and-why-you-should-avoid-doing-it", "title_hash": "0710417a5d07a3958fe6b3772ae8010e", "summary": "How Lingering Taboos About Human Sexuality Do More Harm Than Good", "content": "You’re hooking up with someone for the first time — or the second, the tenth or the hundredth — and you think you know what to expect, but then they ask if you can try something new. \nImmediately, you’re a little cautious. What if it’s weird? They blush a little bit. “Well, you see, I’ve always wanted to try this thing … but it’s a little kinky…” You gulp as they lean in and whisper the secret desire into your ear. You want to make them happy because you’re not a jerk, but this fetish is way out there, and not at all something you’re used to. \nRELATED: AskMen’s List of the Top 10 Fetishes\n“Gross,” you say. “You’re really into that?” Your hookup buddy looks embarrassed. “Never mind,” they say, grabbing their clothes from the floor. “I should probably get going.” \nWhat just happened? Well, there’s a name for it: kink-shaming. And even if you don’t think you’re doing it, you probably are.\nWhat Is Kink-Shaming?\n\n“This girl I met on Tinder told me she wanted to try this thing called ‘caking’ — spreading cake batter all over your naked self. I was like, ‘Hmmmm, no.’ Very unsanitary, and I don't like wasting food.” - Miguel, 28\n\nKink-shaming is basically exactly that — shaming someone for their sexual desires when they don’t line up with what you think is normal. \n“Kink-shaming is when you embarrass someone for their sexual preferences and believe something is wrong with them because of their sexual interests,” says Dr. Janet Brito, a sex therapist based in Hawaii. \nThis could be about a fetish, a kink, a preference, a history of certain behaviors, or even just an openness or willingness to try something that the other person considers unconventional.\n“I would define kink-shaming as the negative judgment and criticism of all sexual contact that isn't considered vanilla or ‘mainstream,’” says Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness. \nBrito notes that some common targets of kink-shaming include “fetishes that are uncommon, such as titillagnia (arousal to tickling other people) or urophilia (arousal to urine or urinating on others), dressing up as a furry or a desire to be choked or spanked.”\nHowever, there are some that are gender-focused — men, for instance, often kink-shame “their girlfriend’s/wife's interest in group sex, public sex, threesomes, double penetration, having a rape fantasy, masochist or sadist interestsl,” notes Brito. Or when talking to other men, they might be judgmental toward things like “same-sex attraction, same-sex fantasies, autogynephilia, men attracted to transwomen or non-binary folks.” \nThis kind of thing can play out in all different ways. It could be as simple as making fun of your friend for a hookup story with an unexpected detail in it, or it could be your long-term significant other trying to make you feel dirty for asking for something new in bed. \nWhile it might not be coming from a place of hurtfulness — it’s as often a sense of surprise or shock rather than outright cruelty — it can still be incredibly demeaning. \nHow Does Kink-Shaming Negatively Impact People?\n\n“I had a man recoil and tell me he ‘doesn’t do that weird sh*t’ when I placed his hand closer to my neck. It made me feel super uncomfortable for the rest of that interaction.” - Maria, 29\n\n“Kink-shaming really only serves to make people live in silence and fear of judgment,” says Caraballo. “It creates negative internal emotional consequences, leaving the receiver to question the validity of their own desires. This could exacerbate any lingering questions of self-worth, depression or anxiety that the receiver already has about their sexuality and identity. It can negatively impact their ability to have and enjoy sex, and might kill desire altogether.”\nIt can also have a serious impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being, ultimately causing psychological harm in the end.\n“They may feel invalidated, dismissed, misunderstood,” says Brito. “It can negatively impact their relationship with their significant other, cause someone to withhold information or hide their kink from them. [And] at its worst, kink shaming can be used as a weapon against someone, and can cause someone to lose their job or their family.” \nRELATED: What Is Slut-Shaming? (And Why It Could Be Harming Your Sex Life)\nThat might sound extreme, but instances of people’s sex lives becoming public knowledge are often weaponized against them in some form; the belief that a certain non-conformist sexual interest is unacceptable or somehow indicative of a person’s core moral character lives on in popular thought. \nAs a result, it’s worth thinking about how kink-shaming functions on a greater societal level, rather than just instances of one person shaming another. When we normalize kink-shaming and general sex-negative attitudes, people grow up feeling ashamed of desires they cannot control.\nHow Can You Stop Kink-Shaming?\n\n“When I was in my teens (and probably even into my early 20s), I thought it was really funny to make fun of furries. But at some point, I realized that I was belittling people for sexual desire that I didn’t understand, even though it was being practiced by consenting adults. There was no real justification for it other than that it felt good in a shallow, sh*tty way to mock outsiders and people who don’t conform. I never tried to shame anyone directly, but I definitely carried that prejudice for many years.” - Ian, 30\n\nConsidering the widespread societal consequences of kink-shaming attitudes, and the seriously negative consequences it can have on a person’s wellbeing, it’s worth considering how we can move away from kink-shaming in general. \nTo that end, sex education — not just about the physical ins and outs of sex, but how desire works — can be a huge factor. \n“I think that education is the biggest way to combat kink-shame,” says Caraballo. “There are a lot of misconceptions about why people enjoy kink (or certain forms of kink) and getting exposure to accurate information helps combat negative, internalized puritanical views about sex and kink.”\nBrito agrees that education is important, but notes that there are lots of ways we can help shift our culture away from its current kink-shaming state. \nShe suggests “being willing to learn more about the diversity of human sexuality by being exposed to more sex-positive messages, by de-stigmatizing sex and knowing how to distinguish the difference between a sexual fantasy and reality, [and] by speaking up when someone is shaming someone’s kink.” \nBrito also notes that some of the most common kink-shaming occurs within the self, meaning people shaming themselves for their own desires. If you struggle with that kind of thing, it’s worth putting in the effort to shift gears “by practicing self-acceptance, since working on embracing one’s interests is the first step toward accepting others.”\nRELATED: Every Guy With a Foot Fetish Dreams of This Experience\nFinally, she adds, you can make a difference “by embracing the notion that everyone is different, and that having unique or non-traditional sexual interests does not mean something is wrong with you.”\nExperiencing sexual desire is normal, and what exactly turns you on is often largely out of your control. Until you recognize that your desires alone don’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it’ll likely be a struggle for you to genuinely accept yourself and your sexuality. \nBut if you commit yourself to working through these issues — with a partner, perhaps, or in therapy — it’s absolutely possible to arrive at a healthier, more confident place where your own comfort with your sexual desires means you’re not looking to ridicule, diminish or shame others for theirs. \nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\t26 Wild Fetishes You Probably Didn’t Know Existed\n\tWhat Your Sex & Dating History Says About You\n\tThe Top 5 Wildest Online Dating Sites, Revealed", "keywords": "What, Kink-Shaming, And, Why, You, Should, Avoid, Doing, It", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/what-is-kink-shaming-and-why-you-should-avoid-doing-it/askmen-lead-image-2x1-7-1768583292.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/what-is-kink-shaming-and-why-you-should-avoid-doing-it.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:16:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144631", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: I Want to Explore Fisting... But I'm Anxious", "title_slug": "str8curious-i-want-to-explore-fisting-but-im-anxious", "title_hash": "503b774f68ce9ec2d3d0cf1df6becc68", "summary": "I'm Curious About Fisting... But Also Scared. What Should I Know About It?", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\nThe Question\n“I am pretty new to gay terminology, sex acts, and kinks. While I have a firm grasp on most things, I can’t seem to understand the concept of fisting. Is it pleasurable? Is it painful? Is it a combo of both, much like BDSM? Can you please explain why people partake in this type of activity? I’m open-minded and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit curious.” - Jerry, Gainesville, FL \nThe Answer\nI hope “firm grasp” was intentional because that’s precisely what the anal sphincter does around a wrist while being fisted. \nAdmittedly, as someone who’s never participated and cringes at the mere thought of a finger going up the bum (I’m a #side), your guess is as good as mine when it comes to the pleasure aspect. But I’m never here to kink-shame and I applaud you for respectfully exercising curiosity.\n \nTo educate the both of us, I hit up a dear friend who does take part in frequent fisting sessions as the top. But as a corporate executive with a buttoned-up image (quite the contradiction!), he has requested complete and total anonymity.\nAllegedly, the thrill of being the fister is more psychological than physical. Aside from penetration with a penis, there is no sexual experience more intimate and these special tops enjoy being 100% responsible for their partner’s pleasure. There is also an element of power, connection, control, and fantasy that can provide a surge of endorphins that is “unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.” (A direct quote from my friend.)\n \nFor bottoms, fisting orgasms are apparently even more intense when that area feels “full.” While I’d much prefer the rush of a Beyoncé concert instead of an arm up my ass, I’m certainly in no place to knock something until I’ve tried it. My kinky friend says that these “ultimate size queens” tend to take on a more submissive role in the bedroom and even enjoy the thrill and challenge of seeing how far up a limb can go and/or how far an asshole can stretch. I’d be curious to get a psychiatrist’s thoughts on whether or not this falls in the same category as extreme body modifiers. \nWhile it’s certainly a boner kill, I’d be remiss to not mention the inherent risks associated with fisting. The act requires a lot of lube, patience, and trust. Rectal perforation is a real possibility, as well as tears, hemorrhaging, and permanent sphincter damage that can only be corrected with surgery. Fisting also increases the chances of HIV and STI contractions due to tears in the delicate lining and tissue. And anal trauma can lead to incontinence, as well as a prolapse that contributes to blockage and constipation. It’s important to keep all of this in mind, especially when first starting out.\n \nIf you’re looking to dive right in, quite literally, either as a top or bottom, my advice is to peruse a gay sex app and seek those with mutual interests. You’ll likely find someone willing to show you the ropes or at least offer their tips and tricks. After all, if what my friend says is true, nothing is more of a turn-on for fisters and fistees than maximizing gratification, pushing limits, and sharing this hedonism with others. \nYou Might Also Dig:\nTop Christian Dating Sites, RevealedBest Dating Apps for the LGBTQ+ CommunityHere’s How to Know If You're Gay", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, Want, Explore, Fisting..., But, Im, Anxious", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/str8curious-i-want-to-explore-fisting-but-im-anxious/askmen-lead-image-2x1-6-1768582136.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/str8curious-i-want-to-explore-fisting-but-im-anxious.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:16:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144629", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Valentine's Day Gifts for Her Based on the Length of Your Relationship", "title_slug": "valentines-day-gifts-for-her-based-on-the-length-of-your-relationship", "title_hash": "de689595effdc5cd8159ed174ba40eaf", "summary": "A Curated V-Day Gift Guide for the Men Unsure of How Much to Spend on Their Partner", "content": "As February 14 swiftly approaches, you’ve got one job, gents: Convince her that you basically invented romance.\nBut there is a catch: expectations tend to change depending on how long you and your partner have been dating. To give an extreme example, your wife of 20 years probably expects a bit more for Valentine's Day than just a generic Hallmark card, while your girlfriend of 20 days probably shouldn't get an expensive gold necklace. \nYou want your Valentine to know how much you value and appreciate her, but you also don't want to scare her away with a gift that's too over-the-top, especially if you've only been together a few months.\nRELATED: Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Her\nYes, you could always just pick up a bouquet of roses or a box of chocolates and call it a day, but that's awfully basic and predictable, and could even come off as uncaring or offensive if you've been with your girlfriend for quite a while.\nFortunately for you, we’ve rounded up a slew of gifts for Valentine’s Day that are anything but ordinary. Better yet, the guide is organized by ideas that are tailored to the length of your relationship, whether you’ve been together for a few months or a few years. With our guidance, you can properly aim your Cupid's arrow and really hit the mark with this year's Valentine's Day gift for your girlfriend.\n\nLess Than 3 Months\n\nIf you happen to be in the awkwardly unfortunate circumstance of dating your partner for less than, say, three months by the time Valentine's Day rolls around, just try to keep it chill. You don't want anything that screams too \"lovey dovey\" or is covered in too many hearts if you haven't dropped the 'L' bomb on each other yet. Instead, take this as a good opportunity to show her that you've been paying attention to her interests. (You have been paying attention, right?). \nZodiac-Themed Bracelet\n\nIf she's remotely interested in astrology and has already both asked you for your Zodiac sign and spontaneously told you hers, be assured she'll be thrilled to receive a piece of jewelry that shows you took notice. We love these Zodiac-themed bracelets from Alex + Ani because you would never be able to guess their cost from their quality and good looks/ \nFrom $27.20 at AlexAndAni.com\nCoffee + Chocolate Tasting Box\n\nIf she's always reaching for a fresh brew as an afternoon pick-me-up, give her this caffeinated twist on the standard box of chocolates. It includes four small bags of artisan coffees (whole bean or freshly ground) and four culinary-inspired chocolate bars to pair with them for a sweet treat that's sure to brighten up her day. Don't be surprised if it inspires her to send you a midday \"thinking of you\" text, too.\nFrom $62 at BeanBox.com\nDEARFOAMS Libby Quilted Terry Slippers\n\n\nFor the gal who can't seem to choose between cozy and stylish, these cute slippers make it so that she'll never have to compromise. Available in seven different colors and boasting a memory foam insole and temperature-regulating footbed, they're every bit as plush and comfortable as they look.\n$27 at Nordstrom.com\n\n3 to 6 Months\n\nIf you've been dating for about three months or so, then it’s likely that you’ve already successfully navigated gifting around the end-of-year holidays. Congrats! However, now is the time to step things up a notch and get a little more sentimental and thoughtful with your gifts for Valentine's Day. Now is the perfect time in your relationship to ease out of the “honeymoon phase” and get to know each other on a deeper level. So let your Valentine's gift shine a light on quality time and fostering connection, and let it show that you intend to stick around a while longer.\nDo One Thing Every Day Together: A Journal for Two\n\nIf your partner is the sentimental type, this journal is sure to be a hit. It’s chock full of questions that prompt both of you to answer about your relationship. Beyond the fun you’ll both have filling it out, you’re also bound to learn more about each other in the process. Plus, as you add more and more to the journal, it gradually becomes a time capsule for you to revisit whenever you’re feeling nostalgic (like, say, on your anniversary).\n$12.95 at Amazon.com\nBetsey Johnson \"Confetti\" Heart Pendant Necklace\n\nIt’s no secret that jewelry is one of the most popular gift categories on Valentine’s Day. Luckily, adorning your partner with something sparkly doesn’t have to mean draining your checking account. This charming heart-shaped necklace, decorated in playful multi-colored stones, is not only budget-friendly, but perfectly fitting for the theme of Valentine's Day.\n$52 at Amazon.com\nThe Date Night Cookbook - Rebecca Warbis\n\nGet ready to upgrade your date night meals with this handy book, which contains a ton of delicious recipes meant for two that can be prepared in less than an hour. It’s the gift that keeps on giving because there’s hardly a better bonding experience than cooking together. Armed with recipes like Couple’s Kebabs, Under-the-Covers Pancakes, and Sweethearts’ Caramel Pears, you’ll be a #powercouple in the kitchen in no time.\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\n\n6 Months to a Year\n\nAfter the six-month mark, things are surely getting pretty serious, so feel free to boost the sweetness (or sexiness!) factor of your Valentine’s Day gift without worrying that you’ll come on too strong. This is a great opportunity to gift a modest piece of jewelry — if she’s into that — or give her something equally significant that she can either show off or cherish for (hopefully) years to come.\nFlickering Touch Massage Candle\n\nGoing the sensual route this Valentine’s Day? Look no further than this best-selling massage candle, which is available in three different scents. It’s made from all-natural soy wax, shea butter, and apricot kernel oil, which melts into an oil that you can use to give your lady a sensual rub-down — a gift you can both enjoy.\n$34.90 at LELO.com\nFoil-Pressed Love Note\n\nWho needs a drugstore card when you can turn a handwritten love note into a memorable piece of art? Send in your words and Minted will transform them into a foil-pressed and framed masterpiece that your partner can hang up to enjoy for years to come.\nFrom $128 at Minted.com\nVictoria's Secret Gift Card\n\n\n\nWho said you shouldn't benefit from your own generosity? Buying lingerie is always tricky, even if you think you know her measurements, so let her do the difficult part so that you can appreciate her choices down the line. Victoria's Secret gift cards are an easy and appreciated option for couples looking to add some glamour to their love lives.\n$100 at VictoriasSecret.com\nCustom Coordinates Bracelet\n\nSimply enter the coordinates where you met (or any other meaningful location), and they'll be engraved onto this trendy bangle in your choice of silver, gold, or rose gold. The bracelet is versatile enough for her to wear with any of her other jewelry, but more importantly, every time she glances down at it, she’ll think of you.\n$99 at BrookAndYork.com\n\nLonger Than a Year \n\nIf you’ve been together a year or longer, you’ve already hit at least one huge relationship milestone, so a Valentine’s Day gift that commemorates that is a great idea. Consider personalized gifts that highlight your relationship and your love for each other, as well as sexier gift choices now that you have some confidence when it comes to knowing what she likes.\nWashable Silk Robe\n\nNothing says luxury quite like a silk robe, but this one stands out among the rest because it’s machine washable, has pockets, and is made with naturally thermoregulating material to ensure she always stays comfy. All of those factors make it an ideal pick for the laid-back lady who also appreciates the lavish things in life. Regardless of which color you choose (there are seven stunning options), you can bet it’ll become her go-to item to lounge around in.\n$278 at Lunya.co\nHandwriting Bracelet\n\nYou know how people sometimes get a loved one's handwritten message tattooed on their body? Well, that level of dedication may be a little extreme, but the next best thing is to gift your Valentine a gorgeous bracelet with a custom message in your handwriting. Whether it's a simple \"I love you\" or \"Yours Always,\" or a pet name or some other word or phrase that has meaning for the two of you, she's sure to find this a truly unique and sentimental gesture. Hey, it may even bring a tear to her eye.\n$37 at Etsy.com\nThe Million Roses Classic Black Box Red Roses\n\n\nThere's basically never a bad time to buy your partner flowers, but if your relationship has lasted more than a year, a single rose probably won't cut it. This collection of 14 preserved roses from The Million Roses is an elegant way to make a statement. Every single rose was selected for its physical beauty before a team of floral experts set out to preserve them for up to three years, making this gift a long-lasting adornment and reminder of your love.\n$276 at TheMillionRoses.com\nDiamond Heart Necklace\n\nIf you've got the budget to go big, this gorgeous heart-shaped pendant necklace is studded with 51 light-catching diamonds that are sure to sparkle almost as bright as her smile when she unwraps it. Choose from a rose gold, white gold, or yellow gold chain to suit her style.\n$2,137 at Noemie.com\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tUnique Valentine's Day Gifts\n\tValentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tNaughty Valentine's Day Gifts She'll Love", "keywords": "Valentines, Day, Gifts, for, Her, Based, the, Length, Your, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gifting/valentines_day/valentine-s-day-gifts-for-her-based-on-the-length-of-your-relationship/askmen-lead-image-2x1-9-1768596219.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gifting/valentines_day/valentine-s-day-gifts-for-her-based-on-the-length-of-your-relationship.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:16:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144427", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Owes Me Money and Doesn’t Want To Pay. I Want a Divorce!", "title_slug": "my-wife-owes-me-money-and-doesnt-want-to-pay-i-want-a-divorce", "title_hash": "f511f2f3648d43c61c72fd29d2443847", "summary": "My wife is owing me a lot of money. I’m not talking about the kind of money wives take and pretend to have forgotten they borrowed from you. This one …", "content": "

My wife is owing me a lot of money. I’m not talking about the kind of money wives take and pretend to have forgotten they borrowed from you. This one was a loan she took from me.

Her brother was traveling abroad and needed something to top up. She came to me and asked for money first, and I said I wasn’t in a position to give out any amount to support his travel because I have a home to take care of. Later, she came asking for a loan. She said, “When he gets there, he would start paying.”

I gave her the money in the presence of her mother and her brother. I gave them GHC10,000, and they agreed to start paying three months after he got there. A year later, I haven’t received a dime from her. Whenever I ask for it, she gives me excuses that her brother has suffered, that he hasn’t gotten a job, and all those excuses.

Out of frustration and anger, I asked her mother about it, and she told me her son had sent the money long ago. In fact, her son paid the money just as we agreed, but it was my wife who didn’t give the money to me.

I got so angry when I asked her about it, and she confirmed that indeed she had received the money but had used it to resolve some issues. I asked what those issues were, and she said she wouldn’t tell me. Fine. Then give me my money. Instead, all she does is blackmail me, telling me, “Are you not ashamed that you’re demanding money from your wife as if she were an outsider?”

It’s not fair, and because of that, I harbor anger in this house. Immediately I see her face, the little smile on my face vanishes. Our rent is due very soon. I won’t pay the rent unless she pays it. If she doesn’t pay, I’ll pack my things and leave the house to my parents so she also finds a place to go. And once that happens, that will be the end of our marriage. Wherever she goes will be where she stays forever. I don’t mind going for the kids and leaving her to live her life.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

What do you think about this idea? Honestly, I’m sick and tired of her deceit and the way she gaslights me whenever the issue of the money comes up. I need a place to cool my head.

—Danny

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Wife, Owes, Money, and, Doesn’t, Want, Pay., Want, Divorce", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/18190.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-owes-me-money-and-doesnt-want-to-pay-i-want-a-divorce/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-19 09:08:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144426", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Am Married and Have a Child, but All I Want Now Is to Go Back to My Ex", "title_slug": "i-am-married-and-have-a-child-but-all-i-want-now-is-to-go-back-to-my-ex", "title_hash": "8e646df07e0852f251a95413e9bc63a4", "summary": "A few years ago, during my national service days, I met a young man called Tee at the institution where I was posted. I still remember our very first conversation …", "content": "

A few years ago, during my national service days, I met a young man called Tee at the institution where I was posted. I still remember our very first conversation because it came with shock, laughter, and a deep blush I couldn’t hide. Tee proposed marriage the very first day we spoke. Just like that. No long preamble. No hesitation. What made it even more unforgettable was the setting. He asked me out right in front of an elderly man I worked closely with and often spent time with. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me whole, but at the same time, something about his confidence stayed with me.

We exchanged contacts that day. At first, it was casual conversations; small talk, laughter, harmless teasing. Then it slowly became intentional. Somewhere between texts and phone calls, we began dating. Tee was certain about me from the beginning. Five months into the relationship, he was already talking seriously about marriage. I, however, wasn’t in a hurry. I had just completed my national service and was unemployed. I didn’t feel settled enough to take such a big step, so I asked him to hold on.

Before Tee came into my life, I had been in a relationship during school with another young man, Fii. He travelled out of the country, and over time we lost touch. A whole year passed with no communication, no clarity, no promises. I assumed life had simply moved on for both of us. That was why, when Tee came along, I allowed myself to open my heart again.

Along the line, I got employed. Life felt like it was finally aligning. With a job came confidence, and with confidence came renewed conversations about marriage between Tee and me. We revisited the topic seriously. Then, just as everything seemed to be falling into place, Fii returned to the country unexpectedly and unannounced. He came back wanting us to continue exactly where we had stopped, as if time had frozen for over a year.

I explained to him that I was already seeing someone and asked him to respectfully step aside. Instead, he went straight to my parents to ask for a marriage list. My parents already knew Fii from before. I had not yet introduced Tee to them because the relationship was less than a year old, and I was taking my time.

My parents called me. We live in different regions, so the conversation was long and heavy. I explained everything, the gap with Fii, meeting Tee, and my intentions. That was when everything changed. When they realised that Tee had albinism, their support vanished instantly. Their concern shifted to fear, fear about genetics, fear about children, fear about what society would say. I had done my reading. I tried to educate them, explain things scientifically and calmly, but they never accepted it.

Tee and I tried everything. Conversations. Pleas. Explanations. Patience. We hoped time would soften their stance, but it never did. Eventually, reality caught up with us. Love alone was not enough to stand against the weight of family resistance. With heavy hearts, we went our separate ways.

I later married Fii.

But the truth, one I rarely say out loud, is that the feeling was never mutual. I didn’t marry out of love. I married out of fear. I have a medical condition that makes it risky for me to have a child after the age of 30, and at the time, I was already in my late twenties. My priority became having a child before time ran out. Today, I have a child, and for that, I am grateful.

But gratitude does not erase emptiness.

I work and provide about 90% of what runs our home. My husband does not appreciate it. When I reduced my contributions, hoping he would step up or at least acknowledge my efforts, he became unhappy. There is no partnership, no friendship, no emotional connection. We are not chat buddies. We are not friends. We are roommates sharing responsibilities under the same roof.

Tee, on the other hand, was my best friend. He was my brother, my safe place, my laughter. With him, conversations flowed naturally. With him, silence was comfortable. With him, I felt seen. These days, he is always on my mind. Not in a reckless way, but in a quiet, aching way that asks, What if?

I recently thought of messaging him on Facebook just to check up on him. I no longer have his phone number. I heard he is currently out of the country. I don’t know what his life looks like now. I don’t know if he is happy. I don’t know if he ever fully healed from how things ended between us.

I ask myself many questions. Is it wrong to check up on someone who once meant everything to you? Is it selfish? Is it dangerous? Or is it simply human? I am not seeking to rekindle anything. I am married. I have a child. But there is a part of my heart that never got closure, a part that still remembers the man who chose me so boldly, so publicly, and so completely.

Sometimes, I wonder if choosing safety over love was truly the right decision. Other times, I remind myself that I made the best choice I could with the information and pressure I had at the time. Still, the thoughts remain. Tee remains.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

So now I stand at a crossroads, not between two men, but between my past and my present. Do I let sleeping memories lie, or do I send a simple message that says, “Hi, I hope you’re doing well”?

I don’t know the answer yet. All I know is that some people come into our lives not to stay forever, but to mark us permanently. And Tee, whether I like it or not, is one of those people.

—Elizabeth

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If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

I recently read a story by a man named Nana, who was in a relationship with a Jehovah’s Witness and ended up with a broken heart after several years. He said a lot of things that made me wonder: how? why? what? So, here I am. I would like to address some of the points he raised, because certain aspects of his telling could be misleading or seen as demeaning.

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I understand this is tied to his personal experience in love, and I respect his emotional perspective. However, as an Elder in the Jehovah’s Witness organisation, and as someone who holds a four-year bachelor’s degree and plans to pursue an MSc abroad soon, I feel it is important to begin with the topic of education.

First, nowhere in the Bible is higher education labelled a sin. We can all acknowledge that university life can be highly influential. Jehovah’s Witnesses do not condemn higher education, as there is no biblical basis to do so. Ultimately, each individual is responsible for their own decisions and will account for them, as referenced in Galatians 5:6. I personally have many friends in our faith who are pharmacists, doctors, and lecturers. This alone demonstrates that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not oppose higher learning.

Second, regarding blood, I want to make clear that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not condemn proper healthcare. We view blood as sacred. When faced with illness requiring blood, we seek alternative treatments, such as medications like erythropoietin or albumin. We do not accept the four primary components of blood, but individual Witnesses may prayerfully decide whether to accept certain blood fractions based on their own conscience. Our position is grounded in scriptures such as Acts 15:29, which instructs believers to abstain from blood. I respect that others may interpret this differently, and I simply ask that they extend the same respect to us.

From my personal experience over the last two years, dealing with leukaemia and sickle cell, I do not believe blood transfusion is always the best option, even though it can save lives. The potential complications afterward can be severe. These are my personal views. I know individuals who have refused blood transfusions and remain alive and in good health today.

Third, Nana wrote, “the same person that was moaning my name with every thrust and touch for five years.” If this refers to a sexual relationship with the young woman in question, that is a serious matter. Nana appears to see no issue with premarital sex, yet he labels an entire organisation an occult based on his personal feelings. This is worth reflecting on. If the woman is a baptised Witness, she understands the gravity of such actions and knows what is required to restore her relationship with Jehovah. If this occurred over five years, it suggests she may not have been fully committed to her faith.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Finally, to Nana, who seems to place more trust in Google and other search engines than in the Bible, I am sorry for the loss of your relationship. But I encourage you to be more careful when characterizing an entire religious community as a cult. Jehovah’s Witnesses are transparent in our beliefs and practices. You are welcome to visit our official website for accurate information about us. We do not challenge or disrespect the beliefs of others, nor does the Bible instruct us to become agitated when asked about our faith. We only ask that others show us the same respect we strive to show them.

Thank you.

—Ernesto

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I’ve been dating this guy for the last five months. He’s been very kind and committed to our relationship, even more than I thought he would be. On Friday nights, he takes me out to meet friends and chill. On some Saturdays, he comes to my place and helps me do my chores. He even goes out to fetch water and carries it on his head for me. I love him so much for the little things, but for some reason, he thinks he has to do more to convince me to love him. So he brags about everything.

He said he bought a car and that the car got stolen, so he’s been saving money to buy a better one. He mentions big cars and big brands, but looking at the kind of work he does, it’s obvious he can’t afford such cars, and the car he said was stolen is a lie he tells to make himself feel better about not owning a car.

We were watching a video and a popular restaurant came on the screen. He said, “Oh, these people, don’t mind them. They appear flashy, but their food is not nice.” He went on and on about how he has been eating there and how each day their food got worse. I intentionally asked which of their branches he visits, and he mentioned Spintex, meanwhile this restaurant doesn’t have any other branch in Accra.

There’s this popular Kumawood actress that I admire. My guy says when he was in Kumasi, he was friends with the actress’s brother and that the actress pushed herself on him, but he rejected her. I don’t know much about the actress, but it’s an obvious lie he told to make himself feel important. And I’ve noticed a trend: whenever he’s lying about something, he tries so hard, adding unnecessary details just to convince you that what he’s saying is true.

Sometimes I’m embarrassed. And it looks like his friends know this about him, so when he starts, they make a certain sound, like clearing their throats or something. We were talking about how the dollar rate keeps going down. We were with one of his friends. My boyfriend said, “The way I’m hot about this dollar depreciation. When the dollar was GHC14, I bought $15,000 and saved it, hoping it would go up, but now see.”

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

To be honest, I helped his friend make that sound together. He can lie. He can brag for Ghana, but he’s a good person at heart. He understands what partnership in a relationship is. He extends a helping hand willingly. He’s always there—except he’s there to lie or brag. How do I tackle this in a way that’s not embarrassing or demeaning?

If he’s able to work that out, he’ll be the sweetest person I’ve ever known. Please help.

—Brenda

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******

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I am a nurse, a good one, and I am here because my heart is in shatters. Here is the thing. I am currently dating two men who are both amazing in their own ways. Oh, so amazing. However, I am facing a dilemma. A big one.

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The man I actually want to marry has not proposed yet. I really do not know why he is sulking and dragging his feet like some reluctant bride. The other man is someone I am not truly interested in starting a serious relationship with. At all. No. He will be thirty-seven soon, and I am approaching my thirties, which makes me very anxious. Usually, all these things are supposed to be planned out. I was supposed to be married by twenty-five, have a child and a darling husband by thirty. Only then would the sun orbit properly around the planet.

The man I am considering is great overall, but I feel a lack of attraction because he is quite short, and I am tall. So you see the imbalance. Whenever we are intimate, there is a physical mismatch that makes things awkward. I am tall, he is short, and I find myself faking enthusiasm. I worry that my friends will laugh at me for being with someone shorter. I mean, they all know the plan was never to marry a short man. Besides this, he does not have a good sense of style. I have tried sending him videos and pictures of how I would like him to dress, but he has not changed. It is not that he cannot afford it. He earns over ten thousand dollars and comes from a financially stable background, and his parents sometimes support him.

Additionally, I do not agree with his religion, but we manage to get along. He is generous, kind, and a peacemaker, which are wonderful qualities. However, I am feeling pressured because of my age. Being close to thirty, I feel my options may be limited.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Another concern is that if this shorter man were to cheat on me, it would be incredibly painful. I cannot bear the thought of it. Let us say I consider you, walk down the aisle, agree to be your wife, and you cheat on me? Me? Me, who has considered you? That is an abomination. I know it sounds strange, but I think it would be easier to handle if a tall, handsome man were unfaithful instead. I am not trying to discriminate—we all have our preferences.

I know it sounds strange, but I think it would be easier to handle if a tall, handsome man were unfaithful instead. I am not trying to discriminate. We all have our preferences. Some want a partner who is plus size, some want someone short, and some want someone tall. Some want to marry a pastor, and some would rather die than marry one. Some want a poor man, some want a rich man. You see? Choices. So do not judge.

But sometimes it gets to the point where we settle, and the truth is, I do not want to settle for less and regret it all at the end.

Yet, I also wonder if I could grow to love him after marriage because he truly is a good man, and I believe his love for me is genuine.

But I am afraid that if I lose him, I might not find anyone else like him. Please, what should I do? I need to get this matter settled.

—Cathy

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This story was originally reported by Candice Norwood of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with The 19th News Network.

A mother shoved to the ground in front of her children in the hallways of a immigration courthouse in New York. A young woman pulled from her car and handcuffed on a busy street in Key Largo, Florida. A child-care worker dragged out of her workplace in Chicago, in front of parents and children. A pregnant woman yanked by one arm through the snowy streets of Minneapolis.

In each of these cases, the aggressors were men working for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and their actions were caught on video widely shared online.

Then came Renee Nicole Good.

Last Wednesday, the 37-year-old mother of three and her wife had dropped off their 6-year-old son at school and were blocks away from home when they stopped by an ICE protest to “support their neighbors,” according to Good’s wife, Becca. People had gathered to blow whistles and shout to alert nearby residents about ICE’s presence in Minneapolis’ Central neighborhood.

Video taken at the scene from different angles and analyzed by multiple news outlets shows Good trying to leave as an ICE agent grasps at the driver-side door handle of her car. A second agent, later identified as Jonathan Ross, was standing toward the front of the car. He fired at least three shots aimed at Good as she attempted to drive away. An agent can be heard saying in one of the videos, “Fucking bitch” after the shots were fired.

Good was killed.

President Trump and Vice President JD Vance have, without evidence, accused Good of attacking Ross and justified his actions as self-defense.

There is no database tracking when ICE agents use force against women. But a growing number of videos captured throughout the first year of the second Trump administration offer some insight into the violent encounters that women have experienced: broken car windows, yanking, shoving, pepper-spraying, and shootings, all of them out in the open and available on social media.

ICE agents’ history of violence against men, women, and transgender people in detention facilities has been documented. Gender-based violence researchers told The 19th that the widespread visibility of physical violence against women in public spaces does not happen in a vacuum and goes hand-in-hand with the policies and messaging coming from the administration.

The visible attacks shared online come on the heels of President Donald Trump insulting women reporters as “piggy” and “ugly” and downplaying the severity of domestic violence. They also come at a time when reproductive rights and access to gender-affirming care have been significantly restricted, and as funding for gender-based violence services and research centering women and LGBTQ+ people has been stripped.

“All of these things converge to entrap women and make more violence in their lives and have fewer ways for them to escape the violence,” said Dr. Carolyn West, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington Tacoma. “So, it’s not just the violence in your home, it’s the violence in your workplace, it’s the violence in the larger community. It’s state-sponsored violence; all of these things converging together.”

“State-sponsored violence,” as West refers to it, is a term used by researchers to discuss violence perpetrated by government authorities, including local and federal police and ICE agents.

Between 1999 and 2015, the percentage of women who made up the population of people experiencing police use of force increased from 13 percent to 25 percent, according to an analysis by the nonprofit think tank Prison Policy Initiative. A study published in the journal for the National Academy of Sciences, based on data from 2013 to 2018, found that Indigenous women and girls experienced a lifetime risk of 4 per 100,000 potentially being killed by police, while the rate for Black women and girls ranged from 2.4 to 5.4 per 100,000; the rate for White women and girls was 2 deaths per 100,000. A 2022 survey of LGBTQ+ people found that 25 percent said they were verbally assaulted during their most recent encounter with police, 13.4 percent said they were sexually harassed and 12.8 percent said they were physically assaulted.

Data tracking use of force by members of law enforcement is underreported and not standardized across the thousands of law enforcement agencies throughout the country, so what is available does not fully reflect the scope of the issue.

For example, the most recent data from government sources, news and academic analysis do not capture specific rates of force among immigration officials against women. One report, by the American Immigration Council, indicates that ICE encounters and arrests with women increased from the end of the Obama administration through the beginning of Trump’s first term. Scenes of Latinas on the receiving end of violence by ICE agents are more common among recent online videos, in part because about half of all immigrants in the United States are from Latin America.

This dearth of more complete data is more apparent in the current Trump administration, researchers said. Over the course of the last year, executive orders on gender and diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility banned the use of certain words. As a result, federal departments and some advocacy groups that cater to marginalized populations removed these words from information in their grant applications and on their websites.

“I’m writing something now and I’ve got seven configurations of the word gender that can’t be used in a grant application,” said Dr. Earl Smith, a professor of women and gender studies at the University of Delaware.

West stated that the lagging research and support for data create a vicious cycle: without updated data, it becomes impossible to show there is a problem, she said.

“It’s almost like a willful ignorance,” West said. “If we can not collect the data, if we defund all these programs, and if nobody’s counting, then there’s the gaslighting that says, ‘Well, there’s no data to say there’s a problem.’”

This has been part of the challenge when speaking about violence by ICE agents since the start of the second Trump administration, researchers said. Without comprehensive tracking, it is difficult to demonstrate a pattern of behavior and its effects. Still, as immigration enforcement escalates to unprecedented levels during the second Trump administration, unbothered by objections and court challenges by state and city leaders, the increasing presence of online videos depicting violent ICE encounters with women has caught public attention, fueling outrage and protest that, at times, has led to more violence.

Six days after the fatal shooting of Good, a video shared and liked by thousands on the social media site Bluesky shows ICE agents in Minneapolis breaking the car window, cutting the seatbelt and forcibly removing a woman of color from her car as she screams, “I’m disabled.”

In another video, a woman can be heard saying “shame on you” to an ICE agent in Minneapolis. In response, the officer says, “Have you all not learned from the past couple of days?” presumably referring to Good’s killing. He then appears to grab the woman’s phone out of her hand.

Reflecting on this dynamic, Hillary Potter, an associate professor of Women and Gender Studies at the University of Colorado Boulder, said, “I wonder how much of that culture of machismo, toxic masculinity, whatever you want to call it, is impacting how ICE agents are treating women in the field.”

Potter and other researchers agreed that violence against Black, Brown and LGBTQ+ women has been normalized for years. Good was a White queer woman who was killed while participating in a neighborhood protest to show solidarity with immigrant communities. In Minneapolis, Latinos, Somalis, and Hmong people have been the main targets of ICE enforcement actions.

“This is new to the current generation of folks looking in,” Smith said. “But Black folks for sure, Somalis, for sure, Hmong people in Minneapolis—they know the deal. They’ve been abused for years.”

Trump, meanwhile, has called Good “very violent” and “very radical,” and said she was “very, very disrespectful to law enforcement” before she was shot dead. It is a similar kind of language he has used to vilify immigrants of color and justify his administration’s pursuit.

“We’ve seen countless numbers of marginalized women, transgender women, who have been brutalized by law enforcement,” West said. “So it’s really interesting to me at this time that white people are seeing that they’re not going to be protected either. Your whiteness and your femaleness is not going to protect you, not from these systems.”

$\"\"$

The post ICE Violence Against Women Is Increasingly Visible—and Largely Untracked appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Dr. Heather Skanes opened Alabama’s first freestanding birth center in 2022 in her hometown of Birmingham. Skanes, an OB-GYN, wanted to improve access to maternal health care in a state that’s long had one of the nation’s highest rates of maternal and infant mortality.

\n\n\n\n

Those rates are especially high among Black women and infants. Skanes’ Oasis Family Birthing Center opened in a majority-Black neighborhood, offering midwifery services as well as medical care.

\n\n\n\n

But about six months after the center’s first delivery—a girl who was Alabama’s first baby born in a freestanding birth center—the state health department ordered Skanes to shut it down. A department representative informed her that by holding deliveries at the birth center, she was operating an “unlicensed hospital,” she said.

\n\n\n\n

Hospital labor and delivery units are shuttering across the nation—including more than two dozen in 2025 alone. Freestanding birth centers like Skanes’ could help fill the gaps, but they too are struggling to stay open.

\n\n\n\n

They face some of the same financial pressures that bedevil hospitals’ labor and delivery units, including payments from insurers that don’t cover the full cost of providing maternity care.

\n\n\n\n

Birth center owners also must contend with arcane state rules and antipathy from politically powerful hospitals that view them as competition, especially in rural areas with few births.

\n\n\n\n

Nationwide, the number of freestanding birth centers doubled between 2012 and 2022, but more recently the pressures have taken a toll: About two dozen centers have closed since 2023, bringing the total number down to about 395, according to the most recent data from the American Association of Birth Centers.

\n\n\n\n

In November 2025, Pennsylvania Lifecycle Wellness and Birth Center announced it would shut down birth center services, citing pressure from regulatory challenges and sharp surges in malpractice premiums. It had served Philadelphia for 47 years. And New Mexico’s longest-operating freestanding birth center stopped delivering babies in December 2025.

\n\n\n\n

“When a new business opens, within the first three to five years you expect a certain number will close,” said Kate Bauer, executive director of the American Association of Birth Centers. “But we’ve had several long-standing birth centers close [in 2025] and that hits particularly hard.”

\n\n\n\n

In California, which has some of the strictest birth center licensing rules in the country, concern over the closure of at least 19 birth centers between 2020 and 2024 prompted the state legislature to pass a law in October 2025 to streamline birth center licensure.

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An appealing alternative

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Freestanding birth centers are not attached to hospitals and aim to provide a more homelike, less traditional medical setting. They employ midwives and focus on low-risk pregnancies and births. Some also have an OB-GYN or family medicine doctor on staff, and they often have partnerships with nearby hospitals and doctors if more specialized care is required.

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Some Black and Indigenous midwives and doulas say birth centers can be helpful alternatives to their community members, many of whom have had experiences in more medicalized settings that left them feeling marginalized, dismissed, or unsafe.

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Midwife Jamarah Amani, executive director of Southern Birth Justice Network, runs a mobile midwifery clinic serving majority-Black and Latino neighborhoods in Miami-Dade County, Florida. The nonprofit, which aims to make midwife and doula care more accessible, recently bought a building for a freestanding birth center it aims to open in 2027.

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“[Midwifery] presents like a luxury concierge-type of service, and our goal is to really change that and to bring it back to the community in a very grassroots way,” Amani said. She added that expanding access to prenatal care could help address inequities in maternal health, as maternal death rates among Black women are three times higher than those among white women.

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Freestanding birth centers also can be a solution for communities without a hospital nearby.

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The closest hospital to the Colville Indian Reservation, located in northern Washington state, is half an hour away, said Faith Zacherle-Tonasket, founder of the nonprofit xa?xa? Indigenous Birth Justice.

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So far, the group has trained nearly a dozen tribal doulas and midwives to serve the area. In the next few years, it plans to open a freestanding birth center. Zacherle-Tonasket said Indigenous-run birth centers are crucial alternatives for tribal women, who also have some of the highest maternal mortality rates in the nation and often face prejudice in clinical settings.

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“They don’t feel safe. So a lot of them just don’t get prenatal care,” said Zacherle-Tonasket. “Bringing traditional midwives that are from our own communities, that were born and raised in our communities, that know the families—we know that those babies will be birthed with love.”

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Regulatory hurdles

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When the Georgia legislature relaxed state health care regulations in 2024, it felt like a long-awaited win for Katie Chubb. A registered nurse and mother of three who’s worked in health and nonprofits, Chubb has spent years trying to open a birth center in Augusta.

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The state denied her application to open the center in 2021. Georgia, like many states, requires health-care providers to get state approval, called a certificate of need, before they can build a new facility or expand services. Rival providers, like other hospitals, can challenge an application, effectively vetoing their local competition.

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That happened in Chubb’s case: Two local hospitals filed letters of opposition against her and refused to say they’d accept emergency transfers from her birth center, another requirement for opening.

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Georgia currently has three freestanding birth centers, a fraction of the more than two dozen that operate in neighboring Florida.

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“We’re seeing women giving birth in hospital hallways or at home unassisted, because there’s no in-between option like a birth center,” Chubb said. In October 2025, Georgia lost another labor and delivery unit at a rural hospital two hours north of Augusta.

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“Women are just left to figure things out.”

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In Kentucky, the Republican-controlled legislature passed a bill in March 2025 that aimed to clear the way for freestanding birth centers by exempting them from the certificate of need process.

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But Republican lawmakers attached a last-minute anti-abortion amendment to the bill, prompting Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear to veto it. The legislature eventually overrode his veto. Midwifery advocates hope the new law will help make it easier to open a birth center in the state.

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Georgia legislators similarly revised Georgia’s certificate of need rules in 2024, exempting freestanding birth centers. Chubb, who championed the new law, hoped it would clear the path for herself and others.

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But they hit another roadblock. The state still requires birth centers to secure a written agreement with a local hospital to accept transfers of clients in emergencies. Chubb and at least one other prospective birth center owner have been unable to get their local hospitals to sign such transfer agreements.

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“We’re still fighting,” Chubb said. “Behind closed doors we’re still working very hard on getting legislation and regulations changed to make opening birth centers more equitable.”

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Some hospitals view birth centers as a threat to the viability of their labor and delivery units, siphoning off patients and revenue from a service that’s already unprofitable for most hospitals.

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Daniel Grigg, CEO of Wallowa Memorial Hospital, a 25-bed critical access hospital in northeast Oregon, said there aren’t enough births in the area for both hospitals and birth centers.

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“When you’ve got a small-volume community like we have, every birth helps the providers keep their skills up and their competency,” he said. “When you’ve got a midwife taking, say, ten patients out of that pool,” it can have an impact on physicians and hospitals.

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Alabama lawsuit

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After the Alabama Department of Public Health shut down Skanes’ birth center in 2023, she joined with two other women who had also been attempting to open birth centers in Alabama: Dr. Yashica Robinson, an OB-GYN in North Alabama, and Stephanie Mitchell, a licensed midwife in Alabama’s rural and economically disadvantaged Black Belt region. Together they sued the Alabama Department of Public Health over what they called a de facto ban on birth centers.

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The state insisted its tighter regulations would ensure that birth center facilities are safe. The birth center owners said the state’s rules were overly burdensome and clinically unnecessary for the low-risk, nonsurgical births that are attended by midwives. And, they said, the rules prevented more families from accessing care where it’s desperately needed. The state has lost at least three hospital labor and delivery units since 2020.

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“Entire swaths of the state are maternity-care deserts without access to essential health care,” said Whitney White, a staff attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union, which is representing the birth center owners and their co-plaintiff, the Alabama affiliate of the American College of Nurse-Midwives.

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“Hospital labor and delivery units are closing, and pregnant folks are reporting they’re really struggling to access the care they need, struggling to get appointments, struggling to find a provider,” White said.

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Last May, an Alabama trial court permanently blocked the state from regulating freestanding birth centers as hospitals. Birth center staff are still overseen by state boards of midwifery and nursing.

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All three Alabama centers are now open. But their licensed midwives are delivering babies under a cloud of uncertainty about the future.

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The state appealed the ruling in November 2025. The case is ongoing.

\n\n\n\n

Struggles and solutions

\n\n\n\n

Bauer, of the American Association of Birth Centers, said many centers face the same financial barriers. Uncomplicated births at freestanding birth centers cost less than they do at hospitals, but research has shown that insurers, including Medicaid, reimburse centers at lower rates. Some state Medicaid programs don’t cover some of the nonclinical services, such as lactation consultants and doulas, that birth centers may provide. And malpractice premiums are rising.

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“We’re volunteering our time, essentially, to keep the birth center open as a service to the community,” said Sarah Simmons, co-owner of Maple Street Birth Center in rural Okanogan County, Washington. The center can’t afford to hire a front-desk staffer or another midwife, Simmons said. She added that on average, the center makes less than a third of what the local hospital makes for providing the same obstetric service.

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But there may be solutions to some of these financial problems. For example, the Center for Healthcare Quality and Payment Reform, a national health-care policy center, has recommended that health insurance plans, both Medicaid and commercial, pay hospitals and birth centers monthly or quarterly “standby capacity payments” per woman of childbearing age covered by that health plan in the facility’s service area. It also recommends that plans pay a separate delivery fee for each birth.

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In 2024, Democratic U.S. senators proposed a bill to allow for a similar payment model.

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Standby payments could help freestanding birth centers, especially those that fill gaps in maternity care deserts—but not unless centers receive payments that are comparable to those that hospitals get, said Simmons, whose center serves four sparsely populated counties along with the Colville tribal communities.

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“This would be most beneficial to freestanding birth centers if pay parity laws were enforced, so rural freestanding birth centers were paid the same rates for the same services as rural hospitals, ” she said.

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State grants also can help, but birth centers say a one-time infusion won’t be enough. In 2024, Washington opened grant applications for distressed hospital labor and delivery units and freestanding birth centers.

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Ashley Jones, of True North Birth Center and president of the Washington chapter of the American Association of Birth Centers, said the grant has helped keep their doors open.

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Meanwhile, Chubb, the Georgia nurse, recently had to take another job to support her family while her birth center remains in legal limbo.

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“I’m just waiting until the government figures out what they’re doing.”

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This story was originally reported by Anna Claire Vollers and Nada Hassanein of Stateline. Stateline is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Stateline maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Scott S. Greenberger for questions: info@stateline.org.

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The post Freestanding Birth Centers Are Closing as Maternity Care Gaps Grow appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Freestanding, Birth, Centers, Are, Closing, Maternity, Care, Gaps, Grow", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/birth-centers-Simmons.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/15/freestanding-birth-centers-are-closing-as-maternity-care-gaps-grow/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-18 06:55:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "144200", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Virginia to Put Abortion Access On the Ballot", "title_slug": "virginia-to-put-abortion-access-on-the-ballot", "title_hash": "5edd69f1a1532758e52aabdfff6e8444", "summary": "Virginia’s General Assembly passed a constitutional amendment that would permanently protect reproductive rights in the state. Voters will decide whether to enshrine it into the state constitution later this year.\nThe post Virginia to Put Abortion Access On the Ballot appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Virginia lawmakers have approved a constitutional amendment that would protect reproductive rights in the Commonwealth. The proposed amendment—which passed 64-34 in the House of Delegates on Jan. 14, 2026, and 21-18 in the state Senate two days later—will be presented to voters later this year.

\n\n\n\n

“Residents of the Commonwealth of Virginia can no longer allow politicians to dominate their bodies and their personal decisions,” said House of Delegates Majority Leader Charniele Herring, the resolution’s sponsor, during a committee debate before the final vote.

\n\n\n\n

The Democrat-led state senate first passed the measure in January 2025. The House of Delegates followed a few weeks later. Virginia law requires an identical proposal to pass in two consecutive legislative sessions before a constitutional amendment can be put to voters.

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Virginia currently allows abortion through the second trimester of pregnancy, or until about 27 weeks. Later abortions are allowed if the pregnancy is life-threatening. It is the only Southern state that has not passed any new abortion restrictions since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022.

\n\n\n\n

Abigail Spanberger, the state’s Democratic governor-elect, made protecting reproductive rights a centerpiece of her 2025 campaign. In an Oct. 9 gubernatorial debate, Spanberger accused her anti-abortion opponent Republican Winsome Earle-Sears, of wanting to “inflict upon Virginia” the kind of extreme abortion restrictions passed in nearby states.

\n\n\n\n

“Women have died,” she said of those laws.

\n\n\n\n

Dems prioritize civil rights

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Virginia, a onetime Republican stronghold that swung Democratic in 2008’s election of Barack Obama, is often called a “purple” state. The governor’s mansion has swapped party hands regularly in the past 30 years, and in 2017, the House of Delegates became evenly split at 50-50.

\n\n\n\n

In the 2025 election, Democrats won a historic 64 seats, all but ensuring voters the opportunity to enshrine reproductive rights into their state constitution. In addition to codifying the state’s current abortion access laws, the legislature is expected to pass proposals to permanently enshrine same-sex marriage and restore voting rights to formerly incarcerated people who completed their sentences for felony convictions into the state constitution.

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A fourth proposed constitutional amendment would allow Democrats to redraw the state’s congressional districts to add up to four blue seats in Virginia, potentially in time for the 2026 midterm elections.

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If voters ultimately approve these measures at the polls, they would all become constitutional law in Virginia.

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With a Democratic governor and Democrat-majority legislature, Virginia could also join the growing ranks of blue states passing “shield” laws. These laws protect providers from prosecution or civil penalties for prescribing medication abortion to patients in states with restrictions or bans.

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Regional destination

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“Virginians have been loud and clear about their support for reproductive freedom,” said Autumn Celeste, Blue Ridge Abortion Fund’s communications director, in a statement to RNG.

\n\n\n\n

Abortion funds help patients find clinics and pay for their abortion care. They also sometimes arrange child care and support patients’ care following the procedure. The Blue Ridge Abortion Fund serves both Virginians seeking abortions and a growing number of out-of-state patients traveling to Virginia for care.

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After Roe fell, Celeste said, most other Southern states soon enacted restrictive abortion laws.

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Neighboring North Carolina now bans abortion at 12 weeks. Florida and Georgia both outlaw it after six weeks, with a few exceptions. Tennessee has a total abortion ban with limited exceptions.

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In 2024, people traveling from other states made up a quarter of all Blue Ridge Abortion Fund callers, up from 13 percent just before Roe was overturned in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. North Carolina, Florida, and Georgia topped the group’s patient list, Celeste told RNG in late 2025.

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Other research backs this observation. Virginia clinics performed 6,600 more abortions in 2024 than in 2023, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization aiming to improve reproductive rights. The number of out-of-state patients increased by about 4,400. A Guttmacher policy advisor attributed that spike mainly to Florida’s May 2024 six-week abortion ban.

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“Enshrining the right to abortion care within our state is a necessary—and popular—step in the ongoing effort to protect reproductive freedom in Virginia, not just for today, but for generations to come,” Celeste said.

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Editor’s note: This story is an updated and condensed version of a story originally published on Oct. 20, 2025.

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The post Virginia to Put Abortion Access On the Ballot appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Virginia, Put, Abortion, Access, the, Ballot", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/VA-abortion-on-the-ballot-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/16/virginia-abortion-constitutional-amendment/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-18 06:55:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "143820", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Little Things That Keep Love Strong", "title_slug": "the-little-things-that-keep-love-strong", "title_hash": "8c0c5a94893492f876054f29341396ed", "summary": "Learn how small, meaningful rituals of connection help couples build trust, stay close, and keep love strong over time\n.\nThe post The Little Things That Keep Love Strong appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn how small, meaningful rituals of connection help couples build trust, stay close, and keep love strong over time
\n.

The post The Little Things That Keep Love Strong appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Little, Things, That, Keep, Love, Strong", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/GettyImages-892657970.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-little-things-that-keep-love-strong/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-16 11:20:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "143710", "lang_id": "1", "title": "\"Women Are Boring!\" It's Up to the Man to Make a Woman Interesting", "title_slug": "women-are-boring-its-up-to-the-man-to-make-a-woman-interesting", "title_hash": "0452210006bfd1f6a16ecf9eb8ec392c", "summary": "Women are only as boring as a man allows them to be. A good conversationalist knows how to draw the interesting bits out of her and avoid it being boring.\nSheath your daggers! This will make a lot more sense in just a moment.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ Women are only as boring as a man allows them to be. A good conversationalist knows how to draw the interesting bits out of her and avoid it being boring.

Sheath your daggers! This will make a lot more sense in just a moment.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Women, Are, Boring, Its, the, Man, Make, Woman, Interesting", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/women-are-boring-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/women-are-boring-its-man-make-woman-interesting", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-16 11:16:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "143709", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Olympic Bars", "title_slug": "the-best-olympic-bars", "title_hash": "7c143dce173d4df184188604a401962b", "summary": "9 of the Best Barbells to Help You Upgrade Your Home Gym", "content": "Perfect for doing squats, deadlifts, shrugs, and power pulls, Olympic bars are a great addition to any home gym – even if you only have a small amount of space to work out.\nAlthough regular barbells tend to be less expensive, if you’re serious about lifting, you’ll want to upgrade your standard barbells to an Olympic variety. Olympic bars are generally higher quality and can also hold much more weight than your typical bar. If you’re considering investing in bars for your home gym, we recommend going straight to the Olympic standard.\nRELATED: How to Get Better at Pull-Ups\nWhile professional-level Olympic barbells can easily cost more than $1,000, there are a handful of great options for every price range. Here, we’ve rounded up some of the best Olympic bars you can buy – there’s something for every budget and need.\nREP Fitness Colorado Bar\n\n\nREP has won a reputation for both quality and affordability, an increasingly difficult spot to fill in the era of tariffs and inflation, but their Colorado Bar is the perfect case-in-point. Ten years of testing, innovating and taking customer feedback went into the construction of this bar, and it shows. It has two knurl markings (both IPF and IWF) for maximum versatility as well as a proprietary Duracoat finish to harden the exterior and prevent rust and decay. The bar also comes in six different Cerakote finishes, so it's easy to personalize it to your own aesthetic preferences. \n$299.99 at REPFitness.com\nCap Barbell Olympic Super Curl Bar\n\nMade of solid steel with a chrome finish, this heavy-duty Olympic barbell boasts a medium-depth diamond knurling for non-slip grip (even if your palms sweat during a heavy workout), as well as smooth rotating sleeves, which help to reduce any pressure or pain points on the hands and wrists. The Super Curl Bar is also available in a matte black if you’re looking for a more muted home gym design.\n$33.99 at Amazon.com\nHulkFit Olympic 2-Inch Hex Weight Lifting Trap Bar\n\nThe HulkFit Olympic Bar is the number one best selling barbell on Amazon – and for good reason. Made of solid, heavy-duty steel, this weight lifting bar can comfortably hold up to 1,000 pounds without giving out while the extra-long loadable sleeves allow for generous space for loading and unloading weights – it also allows for additional bumper plates for anyone working out in an apartment or at home with a baby where the noise level is important. “I searched everywhere until I found this thing,” one reviewer said. “This hex bar is a BEAST!!! It lets me fit six, 55-pound bumpers on each side for a total weight of 735 pounds!”\n$130 at Amazon.com\nMarcy Solid Steel Olympic Weight Bar\n\nMade from sturdy, reliable, and durable steel, the Marcy Solid Steel will last you for years. In fact, it’s particularly well-loved by Amazon reviewers for its evident durable feel. “The bar was exactly the shape you would find in any gym,” said one reviewer. “It was well made and balanced. Mine came with spring clamps, which is awesome and they work great.” It’s also a great option for anyone looking for quick and seamless execution – this curl bar secures the weight plates effectively, which gives you a hassle-free workout experience every time.\n$59.99 at Amazon.com\nSynergee Black Olympic Hex Barbell Trap Bar\n\nThis Olympic hex barbell by Synergee is a great option for anyone who regularly pulls from the ground and doesn't want to run the risk of lower back injury or strain. Thanks to the hexagonal design, the bar keeps the weight evenly distributed through your body’s midline, allowing for a linear bar path while targeting your quadriceps, and a significantly decreased risk of injury (which means more gains!). The Synergee bar also allows you to choose between either raised or flat handles depending on your personal preference.\n$149.95 at Amazon.com\nSunny Health & Fitness Olympic Hex Bar\n\n\nIf you’re looking for a lighter weight hex bar that won’t hurt a pre-existing condition, look no further than the Sunny Health & Fitness bar. “This bar is extremely helpful as I have a compressed disc in my back and heavy deadlifts with a standard bar always seem to cause pain,” explained one reviewer. “This allows me to lift heavy with no pain.”\n$119.99 at Amazon.com\nTitan Fitness Hex Trap Bar\n\nLooking for a big-and-tall hex bar? Consider the Titan. “Long story short, this is a great quality hex bar for a reasonable price,” explained one reviewer. “The bar also allows even the biggest and tallest people to use it comfortably – you actually do fit inside.” Like the other hex bars on the list, the six-sided style allows you to regulate the amount of weight you’re lifting so it’s more evenly distributed than when you use a regular deadlift bar or dumbbells for deadlifts.\n$174.99 at Amazon.com\nGymax Olympic Hex Bar, Folding Trap Bar\n\nCrafted from heavy-duty steel construction with handsome chrome finishing, the Gymax Olympic hex bar is sturdy and durable – and won’t get rusty if you tend to sweat a lot during a workout. It can hold up to 800 pounds at capacity and is well-loved by both individuals building a home gym and gym owners alike.\n$125.99 at Amazon.com\nRogue Olympic Weightlifting Bar\n\nIf you're an actual competitor in a weight lifting sport, you need the very best bar you can find, something that can handle incredibly heavy loads and the daily grind of your training. Rogue's Olympic Weightlifting Bar isn't cheap, but it's built to the highest standards, and if well maintained will last you a lifetime. \n$620 at RogueFitness.com\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tThe 11 Best Home Exercise Equipment Options\n\tHow to Get Ripped\n\tBest Garmin Devices", "keywords": "The, Best, Olympic, Bars", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/hobby/the-best-olympic-bars/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1768408548.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/hobby/the-best-olympic-bars.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-16 11:16:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "143708", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Nutrition Impacts Mood", "title_slug": "how-nutrition-impacts-mood", "title_hash": "59a96cec4411670ceb0bb87074392a02", "summary": "We Promise You'll Never Look at Food the Same Way Again", "content": "Happy, sad, anxious, angry? Whatever your mood may be, it’s likely being impacted by your diet and nutrition. Sure, if you’re feeling down, that unpaid parking ticket and coffee you spilled on your shirt earlier aren’t likely helping matters but lack of vitamin D, for example, could be a culprit, too. According to Dani Levy-Wolins, an in-house registered dietitian at Thistle, nutrition impacts our mood in a number of different ways – for better and worse. \nRELATED: Ultimate Vitamin Buying Guide\nRight off the bat, she says “having a healthy balance of fiber-rich carbohydrates, healthy fats, and complete proteins can help us feel energized throughout the day, which in turn enhances our mood.”\nMeanwhile, “other key nutrients that may support improvements in mood include anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids, zinc, vitamin D, and folate.” In addition, there is research that supports a connection between consuming more plant-based meals (less meat and poultry) and an improvement in mood.\nBut how do you determine which moods might be tied to nutrient deficiencies and what foods or supplements to reach for in an effort to regulate or boost your mood? To help you break it down we called in a few of our favorite experts. \n\nAre Nutrient Deficiencies Tied to Moods?\n\nDr. Lisa R Young, Ph.D., RDN, author of Finally Full, Finally Slim, shares that deficiencies in vitamin D and omega-3 have often been linked to depression and anxiety – although this is an association as opposed to cause and effect. \n\n\tVitamin D: “This fat-soluble vitamin is involved in regulating mood as well as sleep. Called the sunshine vitamin, as its precursor is sunlight, many people are deficient in vitamin D. Low levels have been linked to anxiety and depression,” she says. \n\n\tOmega-3 Fatty Acids: Levy-Wolins adds that “the most researched connection between mood disorders (depression and anxiety, for example) and nutrient deficiencies are found in the intake and balance of omega-3 fatty acids (O3) and omega-6 fatty acids (O6).”\n\n\tFolate and Vitamin B12: Kristin Kirkpatrick, RD, best-selling author, award-winning dietitian, and Quest brand partner shares that “deficiencies of folate and B12 have [also] been linked to worsening mental health outcomes.” \n\n\nWhat Foods or Supplements Are Best for Regulating Moods?\n\nAccording to Young, a Mediterranean-style diet can be good for mood regulation. “The Mediterranean diet is rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, olive oil, and lean sources of protein like fish, beans, and chicken. It is low in red meat and unhealthy saturated fats,” she says.\n“Eating a meal combining complex carbohydrates with lean proteins and vegetables is best to enhance mood. For example, enjoying grilled salmon with brown rice and broccoli contains a blend of nutrients to keep your blood sugar and your mood steady.” \nAs for supplements, she says \"if you are deficient in a nutrient, then supplementing can help ( ie- vitamin D or omega-3’s).” Levy-Wolins agrees, “Vitamin D [supplementation], in particular, has been studied with [mood regulation] in mind,” she says. \n“While research is still providing mixed results (likely due to the difficult nature of controlling every element participants experience or consume during trials), there is some research that endorses the impact of adequate vitamin D intake and mood improvement. This correlation may be due to vitamin D’s impact on serotonin production (a hormone that controls our mood).”\nRELATED: Best Foods to Eat for Every Vitamin Deficiency\n\nDo Any Nutrients Have a Negative Impact on Mood?\n\nLevy-Wolins shares that negative symptoms can arise from micronutrient toxicity (an overdose of vitamins and/or minerals), but notes that this is rare. “Taking 60,000 international units (IU) a day for months, for example, can lead to symptoms like nausea, a buildup of calcium in the blood, generalized weakness, and bone pain,\" she says.\n\"Other research points to negative health consequences from taking in too many minerals, with symptoms ranging from GI distress to stress on the immune system.” \nShe adds that it’s important to remember that supplements are supplemental. You may not need some if you are following a healthy, balanced diet. Routine blood work can help you determine if there are gaps in your nutrition that require supplementation.\nNutrients aside, according to Kirkpatrick, high carb / high sugar foods are some of the worst things to reach for when you are feeling down. “A 2019 study found that high sugar diets had the potential to 'trigger metabolic, inflammatory and neurobiological processes' tied to depressive illness,\" she says. \n\nDoes the Time of Day You Take in Nutrients Impact Mood?\n\nKirkpatrick shares that the time of day you consume nutrients, either through supplements or food, has not shown to have a large impact on your mood. However, “swings in blood sugar can alter mood as sluggishness,” she says. \n“A 2018 animal study found that as blood sugar drops (which can occur when we enter into the cycle of eating low nutrient, high-sugar foods) negative mood may follow. This was seen in humans as well in a 2021 study showing that high blood sugar in type 2 diabetic patients was associated with an increase in the stress hormone cortisol.”\n\n You Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Omega-3 Supplements\n\tCan a Plant-Based Diet Benefit Your Athletic Performance?\n\tTop Immune Boosting Vitamins", "keywords": "How, Nutrition, Impacts, Mood", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-nutrition-impacts-mood/askmen-lead-image-2x1-3-1768488580.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-nutrition-impacts-mood.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-16 11:16:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "143521", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why I Didn’t Leave My Husband When He Cheated", "title_slug": "why-i-didnt-leave-my-husband-when-he-cheated", "title_hash": "25c7e2ca397c1b38c92a30acd502201d", "summary": "The worst form of cheating comes from the one you didn’t see coming. And the one that kills everything in you is the kind everyone gets to know about before …", "content": "

The worst form of cheating comes from the one you didn’t see coming. And the one that kills everything in you is the kind everyone gets to know about before you do. My husband’s cheating came in these two forms: I didn’t see it coming because I trusted him so much, and everyone got to know about it before me because I was too blind to see what was going on. Love isn’t blind. It’s the deception from people we love that blinds us.

Martin and I started life from nothing. We were both unemployed and in love, but because love wouldn’t feed us or bring our dreams to reality, we both set out to make life better. I got a great job with a good salary, so I had to leave town and move to Accra to work.

A few months after I left, he called to tell me, “Why don’t I come and live with you so I can start looking for work in Accra? If I stay here, nothing will work for me.”

At the time, I was living in a single-room self-contained apartment. I said, “Why not? That’s a great idea, but no one should know you’re living with me.”

He came to Accra and lived with me for over a year before getting a job through my connections. Because of him, I had to entertain a married man who wanted to sleep with me for a very long time. The man was influential and could help Martin get a job, so I didn’t push him away. Instead, I pleaded with him to help “my brother” get a job. He said, “You want something from me, but you won’t give me what I want.”

Once he helped Martin get a job, I disappeared. I used his marriage as the reason I couldn’t be with him. He was very angry, but by then Martin already had a job, and he couldn’t blame him for my refusal to sleep with him.

Once Martin got a job, I exhaled loudly. I slept better. When I dreamed, I dreamed of meadows instead of dry land. It was tough taking care of a boyfriend for more than a year, but that was what I did without complaint.

We lived together until we saved enough to move into a bigger apartment. A year after moving into that apartment, we got married. Martin was my first boyfriend. That means all my life, he’s the only man I’ve ever known.

Fifteen years into the marriage and three children later, I discovered Martin had two children with another woman from our hometown. His first child with that woman is five months older than our first child. Every time he told me he was going home to see his parents or attend a family meeting, he was busy raising another family. His parents and relatives were aware of these two children. When the secret came out, they told me they thought I already knew.

Two children with the same woman can’t be an accident, right? When the truth finally came out, Martin broke down at my feet, crying and asking for forgiveness. He even blamed demons for possessing him to do such a thing. He said, “Looking at all the things you’ve done for me, what would push me to do this if it’s not the devil himself?”

Our families called a meeting and asked for the way forward. I said, “Way forward? No, there’s no way forward.” His father asked, “Does this mean you’re leaving the marriage?” My dad added, “Consider the kids and their future before you make a decision.” I said, “I didn’t say I was leaving the marriage. Of course I’m not. He has asked for forgiveness, and I have forgiven him.”

Everyone present jubilated. “This is a woman who loves her husband,” one man said. “A woman like you is what society needs. You have wisdom,” another woman said. Martin’s mother added, “Thank you for doing the right thing. It’s not easy to forgive, but with God on your side, everything will be fine.”

Martin got up, hugged me, and thanked me. We came back home as husband and wife, but there’s something no one knows. I didn’t forgive my husband. I left the marriage the day I found out he was cheating. I’ve known only him all my life, but he chose another woman over me.

When people say divorce is a bad thing, they are right, because divorce changes your life completely. It changes where you live, it can change the school your children attend, it changes your neighborhood and community, and it changes who you are. I love the life I’m living with him, where he carries the bigger part of the financial burden and I carry the bigger part of the domestic burden. He pays the children’s school fees and pays for the home we live in. For the house we are building, he pays the larger part of the cost. When any of us is sick, he pays the medical bills. He is useful, and I know that once divorce happens, he will stop doing all that.

He would be bitter and might even stop sending child support. We would have to go through court processes to settle who gets what. If he doesn’t pay child support, I would have to go through the same court process again to force him to pay. It’s exhausting, but that’s what divorce brings. So instead of leaving this marriage, I decided to stay and watch him do all that every day. Once the children grow and leave home, I’ll leave the marriage and go to the life I’ve carefully planned for myself over the years.

Our marriage is now divided into two parts: B.C. and A.C. That’s Before Cheating and After Cheating. I was a supportive wife in B.C. In A.C., there is no kindness, no support, no care. What’s mine is mine, and what’s his is ours. I want to live and make him pay for my existence. Leaving will expose me and the children to many unfavorable situations, and I won’t do that. I will stay and control those situations.

Someone will say, “Why don’t you forgive him? When you forgive, it helps you more than the person you’re forgiving.”

No, I can’t forgive him. When someone you trust, the only man you’ve ever been with, the man you sacrificed so much for does this to you, you can’t just wake up and forgive. It stays with you forever. It affects your relationships with other people and changes how you see the world. He destroyed everything for me, and you think such a person deserves forgiveness? No.

I’ve learned to detach from everything we once had. The emotional connection is gone. There’s no love or care for him, but I don’t hate him. I’m simply indifferent toward him. I will give him sex only when I want to, and when it happens, I will give it my all, knowing very well it may be weeks or months before another time.

He’ll notice the change and ask why, and I’ll tell him, “Don’t worry. Everything is fine.”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I don’t know who taught me this or where I learned it from, but I believe it’s better for me. I’m emotionally divorced, but everyone thinks I stayed because I’m a “virtuous” woman. I only stayed so I can leave when it suits me. After all, what’s out there to take? Children? I already have them. A fulfilling job? I have it. Christ? He lives in me. And besides, it’s the same cheating men out there.

—Aurora

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*****

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He’s my dad’s friend. He comes to our house often and, along the line, took a special interest in me. Right from the onset, he told me my dad shouldn’t know that we were talking because he would be angry. I agreed. So when he came to our house to visit, I put my acting skills on so no one would know, but once he left, we talked and laughed about it.

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He was kind to me, I must say, so the first time he asked me to escort him to a program, I happily agreed. He bought the dress I wore that day. Instead of a program, we ended up in a hotel. I figured what was going to happen, but I needed time and space to think it through and take it all in. This man wouldn’t wait for my consent. Once I said no, he locked me in his embrace and started kissing me until he forced his way through.

I was broken, and he saw it. I was shivering. He said he was sorry and said he couldn’t resist my charm. He asked if I’d forgiven him, and I nodded. He got me a bottle of Coke and later got me medicine to numb the pain.

I didn’t leave because I’d come to love him. So we started having a full-blown relationship until he started using his wife as an excuse to ignore me. I wouldn’t have that because I needed his attention the way he gave it to me from the onset. The more he pulled away from me, the more I grew violent, so I started blackmailing him.

“If I don’t see you today, I will come to your house and tell your wife what’s going on.” He would come and meet me where I was. A few days later, I would tell him, “I have our chat about the first time you forced it. Do you want me to show it to my father?”

We’ve been through this for several months, and he’s tired. He now wants to pay me off. He said I should mention something and he will give me that so I will leave him alone. At first, I was angry, but thinking about it deeply, I think it makes sense. He’s going to leave someday anyway, so I’d better get compensation. I want to ask for something substantial. What do you think will be enough compensation for this?

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I’m twenty-two years old and looking for something that will benefit me for a long time, not something that looks sufficient today but will be gone tomorrow. Kindly tell me what you think will be enough.

—Efe

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*****

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I have been married to my husband for ten years. Five years ago, his mother’s rent was due, and because my husband is her only child and we already had our own house, we decided it would be best to bring her to live with us. The arrangement made sense. She would no longer struggle with rent, and she could also help us with the children whenever we were not around.

When she moved in, I braced myself for trouble. I had heard too many stories about difficult mothers-in-law who interfered, competed, or quietly turned homes upside down. But that was not my reality. She was calm, helpful, and respectful. She cooked, scrubbed, and took care of the children without complaint. She never questioned how I ran my home. In return, I did my best to respect her as a daughter-in-law should. There was peace in the house, and for that, I was grateful.

One ordinary day changed everything. That morning, the land tax officers came around to collect the yearly property tax, as they always did. I was running late for work, so I handed the money to my mother-in-law and asked her to settle it for me. She agreed, and I left without another thought.

Months passed. One day, while going through my records, I realized I didn’t have the receipt for the last payment. I went to her room to ask for it. She took a long time searching through her bedroom, moving slowly, muttering to herself. Eventually, I followed her inside to help. She said that because of her age, she might have misplaced it. She handed me a black poly bag filled with old papers and asked me to go through it.

As we searched together, her phone rang. She stepped outside to answer the call. While waiting, my eyes wandered around the room. That was when I noticed another black poly bag hidden under some clothes in her wardrobe. Thinking it might contain the receipt, I pulled it out and opened it.

I found the receipt almost immediately. But beneath it was something else. An old photograph. It was the picture of a man who looked exactly like my husband. Same face. Same posture. Same presence. It was like a photocopy faded with time. This man in the photo looked like my husband from another moment in history but it was not the man I knew as my father-in-law.

Confused and shaken, I quickly took a picture of the photograph with my phone. That was when I realized she was standing behind me. Without a word, she snatched the photos from my hand and told me to leave her room. Her voice was firm, but her hands were trembling.

The next morning, she told my husband she wanted to return to her hometown immediately. The urgency shocked him. My husband asked me if something had happened between us. I told him no. I wanted to tell him the truth, but something held me back. I thought maybe she had her reasons. Maybe this was not my story to tell.

I went to her room and she was crying. Before I could say a word, she knelt before me and said, “I beg you in the name of God, don’t make mention of the photo you saw to my son or even his father. It will bring a huge problem that will affect all of us.” I asked her to tell me what was going on with the photo and then she told me the truth.

She said she was never married to my father-in-law. When she was young, she had been dating a man, her true love. A month before her true love traveled abroad, she discovered she was pregnant. At the same time, she was also seeing my father-in-law, who was older and already married. His wife could not have children. Faced with fear and uncertainty, she made a decision she believed would protect her unborn child. The man she truly loved had traveled, and she did not know when or if he would return. The older married man was present, stable, and desperate for a child. She chose him as the father of her baby.

My father-in-law accepted the pregnancy. He raised my husband as his own. To this day, he has no other children. He loves my husband deeply. Even now, if my husband falls sick, his father becomes restless with worry.

Physically, there is no reason to suspect anything. My husband is tall, and so is my father-in-law. But if you stand my husband next to the man abroad you won’t need a DNA test.

The man abroad, my husband’s biological father, has always known he has a son. Years ago, he reached out to my mother-in-law and quietly supported my husband through his university education. My husband never knew the source of that help.

Then came the part that trapped me. She said, This is why you need to keep this a secret. Someday if your father-in-law dies, all his properties would go to your husband. The man abroad, too, would leave something behind. Your children will benefit twice.”

December last year, the man abroad sent three hundred dollars. My mother-in-law gave me one hundred and fifty. Since then, I have not known peace. Doesn’t my husband have the right to know who he truly is? Am I the right person to tell him? What will happen when he discovers that I knew all along?

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

If my father-in-law finds out, it will destroy him. His first wife is dead. He remarried three years ago, and his new wife came into the marriage with her own children and grandchildren—none of them his. If the truth comes out, everything he worked for could slip away from my husband. Every day, I live with this burden. Every smile feels heavy. Every family gathering feels like a lie waiting to be exposed. Until when can a secret like this survive? And when it finally breaks, who will it destroy first—my husband, his father, or me?

—Barbara

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*****

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I read the story you posted concerning the guy who wants to marry the Jehovah’s Witness lady. I read patiently till I got to where he said it will break Judy’s heart, and I laughed.

Well, this is my story too.

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I met Naa in SHS. Like most stories, it all started with a ‘hello’ and a ‘hi’ every time I passed by her class to go see one of my friends. She was an Art student while I was a science student. I remember borrowing a friend’s phone to text her after school hours. I proposed to her with my friend’s phone. She accepted, only to break up with me six days later. Her reason was that her church doesn’t allow dating people from any church aside from theirs. Ah, so why did you accept then, only to break up with me? I accepted my fate and moved on, but we were still friends. Then a week later we found ourselves in each other’s arms again.

We were young, but our love and bond was the talk of all. We both completed SHS and gained admission to different universities. Trust me, we were both happy. There was no day we didn’t talk on the phone.

Just after our first semester in school, she mentioned that she’s dropping out of school to study nursing. I was surprised, because she’s never mentioned in any of our conversations that she wanted to be a nurse or that she had a passion for it. I’m that kind of person who’s against doing something you have no passion for, so I tried to find the reason she wanted to drop out of the university. Then she dropped the bomb.

According to her, her dad went to one of their church meetings, and they were taught how J.W.s go to the university and indulge in all forms of immorality, so the father advised she should drop out of the university to pursue nursing instead. I’m not in any way against nursing; no nurse should come after me. I am not against nursing, please.

I was shocked by this revelation so much that it triggered me to go into Christian apologetics. For one whole year, I was diligently studying Christian apologetics, specifically the origin of the Watchtower and the Jehovah’s Witness Society, and what it entails. I’m not here to condemn anyone’s belief, but that church has deep-rooted cultic tendencies.

I remember giving her details of all my findings to give her an idea of the bigger picture, but for some reason it looked like she just couldn’t see it. We were together for almost six years. When we were two years away from completing school, I asked her what the fate of our relationship was, because there seems to be a hanging issue above our heads which needs to be resolved. We ignored it for years when in fact we knew that soon we would have to kill the cat in the bag, but we were pretending.

She gave the same reply that Judy gave to the young man. We’ll both go to our individual churches. Funny enough, that was the reply I was expecting. In my mind, I pictured how we were going to raise the children. What beliefs are they going to adopt? This was my major concern, so I brought it up in one of our conversations, and I realised how hesitant she was. One thing you should know about J.W.s is they get agitated when you challenge their beliefs.

When I did my research on them, I found out they don’t give or accept blood transfusions, amongst many other beliefs. So I posed two questions to her. You could ask the same.

1. Suppose we only have one child after years of trying to conceive, and due to a medical emergency, she needs to donate blood to save the life of our child because her blood is compatible. Will she do it? She flatly said no. Then I asked if she’ll refuse blood to the innocent child so he dies; she said yes. … Ei, you will let my child die?

2. I asked her, ‘What if I was also in need of blood for a medical emergency and she was willing to donate for me to live? Would she?’ She looked me in the eye and boldly said no, because it was a sin and against the word of Jehovah…. What a wow!

This same person that was moaning my name with every thrust and touch for five years knew when to draw the line when it came to saving a life, because blood transfusion, according to the Watchtower is a sin. Okay…

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Chale, that was the beginning of the end of that relationship. It was painful, but I had to let it go. She was good, she was kind, beautiful, and perhaps more than all you’ve mentioned about Judy, but trust me, bro. This one is some bro to brother advice. Some battles are best not fought. Just drop your weapons and leave the battlefield.

Brother to brother, her love for you ends where her faith begins.

I wish you all the best.

—Nana

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", "keywords": ", Fell, Love, With, Witness, and, Learned, Too, Late, That, Love, Couldn’t, Change, Belief", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2150124861.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-fell-in-love-with-a-witness-and-learned-too-late-that-love-couldnt-change-belief/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-16 11:06:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "143517", "lang_id": "1", "title": "REACTION: I Love Her, But I Have Concerns About Her Stretch Marks and Chin Hair", "title_slug": "reaction-i-love-her-but-i-have-concerns-about-her-stretch-marks-and-chin-hair", "title_hash": "a1521fc1ac60a3a692d9cf5807eee2ff", "summary": "I read the story about the man whose girlfriend has stretch marks and who wanted advice on how to tell her to find a way to handle it. That story …", "content": "

I read the story about the man whose girlfriend has stretch marks and who wanted advice on how to tell her to find a way to handle it. That story struck a chord and brought back some painful memories, so here I am to share my own. Because I have been on the other side of that kind of “concern.”

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Once upon a time, I dated a man. He was someone I liked, obviously, and who saw me, sized me up, and found a way to become my boyfriend. One day, he told me about my stretch marks. He said I should “do something about it.” At the time, they weren’t even very pronounced. They were quiet, beautiful, like my body’s own secret scars of stretching from within. Still, that comment alone made me sad in a deep way. I took a pause and thought deeply about us and the so-called love I claimed to have for him. I imagined what a future would be like with him. How would he react when I gave birth to his own child, and my body stretched, my stomach changed, and my skin changed? What if pregnancy showed me pepper and turned my body upside down for life? What would happen then?

There were other moments too. In a group conversation, this same person tried to make an example and said something along the lines of, “For example, if we got married…” then immediately added, “Actually no, we can’t get married because she’s fat; otherwise, all our kids will be fat.” Everyone laughed. That moment was so humiliating, painful, harsh, and sad. It took a toll on me. What made it worse was that we weren’t even in a serious relationship at the time. We were testing the waters, or should I say he wasn’t man enough to say exactly what he wanted, and I always took the little crumbs he gave me.

Later on, when he eventually proposed… yes, I know, I accepted. I said yes to him as in agreeing to walk with God. I did not say yes because I was okay with the comments he was throwing about my body, no. But because repeated teasing and body-focused criticism slowly erode your self-worth. Looking back now, I understand how easily someone can begin to tolerate things they shouldn’t when they’ve been made to feel like their body is a problem.

That relationship didn’t last. It should not have even started. The red flags were too many. I realized that if someone already views normal body features as defects, those “concerns” don’t disappear. They usually grow louder with time, pregnancy, aging, or any physical change that can’t be controlled. They compare you with others, they treat you less human, they make life almost unbearable, and they hate you enough to make you hate yourself.

Now, years have passed. I met a man, who is currently my sweet, sweet husband. By then, my stretch marks were more visible. I had even developed stretch marks on my belly, and no, I didn’t have children. They just came. My self-esteem at that time was very low. Yet he didn’t see my body as an issue. He didn’t try to manage, fix, or warn me about my future body. He loved me for who I was then, not for who I might become after changing myself. Today, we are married.

I am currently on a weight loss journey, not to please my husband. I am doing it for me, for my health, for myself. When I say a prayer, I often thank God that I met someone who loved me before any of that, someone who chose me when I wasn’t at my “best” by societal standards. That love made all the difference, because it wasn’t conditional.

So to respond honestly to the original question: stretch marks, chin hair, weight changes, and similar traits are not flaws. They are common, normal human features, especially for women. When these are framed as “genuine concerns,” it’s often less about health or solutions and more about discomfort with natural bodies.

You can speak calmly and still cause harm. And when someone reacts strongly to comments about their body, it isn’t them overreacting. It’s them protecting their dignity and their mental health, because when they stand in front of the mirror the things you say echo in their head. Sometimes, it gets so bad that they avoid mirrors and pictures altogether. It becomes a quiet form of self-hate.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

In my experience, the real question isn’t how to talk about these things without hurting someone. It’s whether you’re truly prepared to love a person whose body will inevitably change. Because bodies do change.

Sometimes, the body someone has doesn’t disqualify them from love. It simply filters out those who love conditionally and makes room for those who don’t.

—Claudia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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Twenty-seven states have passed laws banning transgender youth from participating on sports teams that align with their gender identity. And while these bans may vary in scope, each one relies on the same spurious claim that trans athletes pose a uniquely dire “threat” to women’s sports.

\n\n\n\n

Those claims were on full display on Jan. 13, 2026, as the Supreme Court justices heard oral arguments in two cases challenging laws in West Virginia and Idaho that categorically ban transgender women and girls from playing in athletic programs alongside other women and girls.

\n\n\n\n

Both cases together ask whether such bans violate federal and constitutional law. After nearly four hours of arguments in the two cases, the conservative majority on the Supreme Court appear ready to rule that they do not.

\n\n\n\n

Little v. Hecox

\n\n\n\n

The first case heard on Jan. 13 was Little v. Hecox, a case brought by Lindsay Hecox, a transgender athlete who was banned under a 2020 Idaho law from trying out for and competing on the women’s track and cross-country teams at Boise State University.

\n\n\n\n

The law categorically bars transgender girls and women from participating in girls’ and women’s sports at all ages and levels of competition. It also requires invasive testing—for example, a health-care provider examining a student’s reproductive anatomy—if an athlete’s sex is questioned.

\n\n\n\n

Both the district court and the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals have blocked the Idaho law. Despite winning in the lower courts, Hecox asked the Supreme Court in September to dismiss her case as moot and moved to voluntarily dismiss her case in the lower court, citing concerns over the intense public scrutiny surrounding the litigation. Hecox also pledged to not participate in women’s sports while in Idaho.

\n\n\n\n

West Virginia v. B.P.J.

\n\n\n\n

The justices also heard arguments in West Virginia v. B.P.J., a case that challenges West Virginia’s categorical ban on allowing transgender girls to participate in girls and women’s sports from middle school through college.

\n\n\n\n

Imani Gandy and I covered the case on Boom! Lawyered, but here’s a quick overview. Becky Pepper-Jackson is a transgender student who wanted to be a part of her middle school’s track team but was prohibited. Pepper-Jackson, who is now in high school, challenged West Virginia’s 2021 anti-trans athletes Save Women’s Sports Act, arguing it violated Title IX of the Civil Rights Act (that’s the federal law that bans sex discrimination in education programs that receive federal funding), as well as the equal protection clause of the U.S. Constitution.

\n\n\n\n

West Virginia’s law was blocked in 2024, when the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals held that it does violate Title IX. West Virginia’s Republican Attorney General appealed Pepper-Jackson’s win with the Supreme Court.

\n\n\n\n

Calcifying rigid gender norms

\n\n\n\n

A ruling is not expected on these cases until June, when the Court typically releases its highest-profile opinions. But I’m not optimistic that the decisions, whenever they are released, will support the trans students who brought them. The Court’s conservative majority made its hostility to transgender minors apparent last June when it upheld Tennessee’s ban on gender-affirming health care in United States v. Skrmetti.

\n\n\n\n

The risk in these sports-related cases goes beyond the very real and damaging harm that the students at the center of them—and other trans athletes—have faced and will continue to face. Conservative advocates are using arguments against trans participation in sports to calcify the right’s damaging, essentialist gender norms into law.

\n\n\n\n

That’s likely why Chief Justice John Roberts, alongside Justice Sam Alito, pressed lawyer Joshua Block of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), the organization representing the minor Pepper-Jackson, to create a rigid definition of sex as under Title IX based solely—or at least predominately—on biological sex at birth.

\n\n\n\n

Roberts insinuated that the ACLU wanted to define sex discrimination as “whatever characteristic you think should be included in the definition of sex.”

\n\n\n\n

“I’m not sure you have that kind of flexibility,” added Roberts, who I suspect may write the majority opinion endorsing these kinds of bans.

“The question then would be instead,” he continued, “What does Congress think the words mean?”

\n\n\n\n

Block smartly did not take the bait. He pointed out that comparable federal statutes like— Title IV, which bans race discrimination—do not define race but still set out to remedy racial discrimination. And so, Block argued, the Court does not need to define sex for Title IX to tackle sex discrimination.

\n\n\n\n

It was one of the sharpest exchanges of the day.

\n\n\n\n

As we saw in Skrmetti, the conservative legal movement wants to enshrine into law a specific and deeply conservative belief that biological sex fundamentally defines not just personal identity, but a constitutional one as well where the state decides who is or is not a woman—and legislates their access to opportunities accordingly.

\n\n\n\n

It’s clear to me that the only strategy progressive legal advocates can take before the Roberts Court at this point is a strategy of harm mitigation. Grind the gears of justice as slowly as possible. Work towards narrow decisions that effectively leave big questions like whether trans athlete sports bans are sex discrimination unanswered for another term. The conservative, ideological capture of the Court leaves them no real alternative.

\n\n\n\n

Quite frankly, that’s the best advocates representing the trans students in these cases can accomplish given the current ideological makeup of the Court.

This story is a condensed and updated version of an article originally published on Dec. 12, 2025.

\n\n\n

The post Supreme Court Appears Likely to Uphold Trans Athlete Bans: Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"how$ How do you have sex with a girl you like? Step 1: get her one-on-one. Step 2: create sexual tension. Step 3: build compliance. Step 4-9: seal the deal.

Going for sex the first time with a girl you’ve never slept with always feels like a risk.

What if you read her wrong and she doesn’t like you like that?

What if you move too fast and she isn’t ready for intimacy yet?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Have, Sex, with, Girl, You, Like, Straightforward, Steps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/how-to-have-sex-with-a-girl-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-have-sex-girl-you-9-straightforward-steps", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-15 04:38:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "142841", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Experience Gifts for Valentine’s Day", "title_slug": "best-experience-gifts-for-valentines-day", "title_hash": "12915520d628f277eb9dbba8e7bb9167", "summary": "Ditch the Flowers & Treat Your Partner to an Unforgettable V-Day Experience Instead", "content": "Flowers and chocolates are cliché; jewelry is expensive and easily lost (plus, be honest: you have no idea what your partner wants); presents are for birthdays and religious holidays. Want to standout from all the other couples? Take the money you would have spent on a gift and find a fun, creative or out-of-the-ordinary experience that the two of you can share. \nThere’s a slew of reasons why an experience gift is ideal for shaking things up. For one, it doubles as a bonding opportunity for you and your partner, allowing you to learn new things about each other and make new meaningful memories together. Not only that, but trying something new can push you out of your comfort zones as a couple — which, let’s be honest, is key to keeping things interesting in a long-term relationship. \nRELATED: Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Every Phase of Dating\nThe keyword here is novelty. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that couples who engage in fun activities together that are outside of the “norm” for them (something other than dinner out or a Netflix binge session), are more likely to report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. \nNeed some inspiration? Here’s a handful of experience gifts that are guaranteed to re-ignite the spark this Valentine’s Day.\nBook a Spa Day\nMost spas will happily accommodate couples, but this is definitely one gift you'll have to book in advance, as Valentine's Day slots are limited and will fill up quickly. Enjoy a relaxing massage, sweat out your stress in a sauna, and then cool down in a plunge pool. \nAlternatively, you can recreate the spa experience at home and offer your partner a sensuous and relaxing massage. Watch some YouTube tutorials ahead of time, pick up some essential tools (we recommend, at a minimum, picking up some massage oil, but if you want to go all-out you can also add a massage table and some heating stones).\nThis is a great option because it's tactile and relaxing, and in stressful times, few things are better than proximity to a loved one. It's also scalable: you can spend $0 and just rely on your massage skills, or you can go all-out and book the full spa experience.\nTake a Cooking Class Together\nWhether you’re foodies who just appreciate a quality home-cooked meal or novice chefs who are seeking to enhance your skills in the kitchen, a cooking class is a fun alternative to dining out. Not only will you leave with new recipes to remake at home, but the dishes will no doubt taste even better given that you made them yourselves. Cozymeal offers a range of cooking classes in cities all over the U.S., as well as online classes if you can't find one in your city. You can opt to have the chef lead the class in your own home for maximum safety & convenience. \nFrom traditional Italian and gluten-free Indian to Asian street food, there’s a wide variety of cuisines to choose from, and chefs can accommodate most dietary needs as well. Scope out the menus and book your class ahead of time, or you can buy a gift card and choose a class together at a later date.\nBuild a Puzzle Together\nDon't laugh or dismiss this out of hand! Your relationship is fundamentally a partnership, and there's no better way to renew your bonds than to target your partnership towards a shared goal. Puzzles are fun to build, but they take time and teamwork, and cooperation. We recommend this 1000-piece adult jigsaw puzzle from Flame Tree Studio, or if you're feeling really ambitious, this 598-piece LEGO NY Skyline. Bonus: the Empire State Building LEGO can double as a sculpture in your apartment or home, a permanent testament to the good you can both two when you put your minds together.\nTake a (Master)class Together\nIf your partner is all about self-improvement, Masterclass is the ultimate gift of education. Collect some cooking tips and tricks from Gordon Ramsay, delve into the world of jazz with Herbie Hancock, or take guitar lessons from Carlos Santana. From filmmaking, acting, and music production, to poker strategy and photography, the possibilities are endless for picking up new skills via online videos and supplemental materials. You can either choose a single class to take together or purchase an all-access pass to keep the learning going all year long.\nHost a Wine & Cheese Night\nElevate your typical get-together by visiting your nearest cheese shop and liquor retailer and offering a selection of stinky cheeses and fine wines. Not only is this a great way to indulge, there's something sensuous about this food & drink pairing. If you really want to go all-in, pick up a wooden cheese platter (for style points) and light some candles to set the mood. \nEscape Room\nThink of this like a stress test for your relationship. Find the nearest fun escape room (ideally something with a romantic theme, given the day!), and test your teamwork as you try to solve the puzzle or follow the clues to win the game. If you happen to have a second couple on hand, this would make for an ideal double-date, \nCultivate Your (Mutual) Garden with Plant Nite\nMove over, Paint Nite, there’s a new boozy class in town — and you don’t need to have a green thumb to enjoy arranging Instagram-worthy succulent terrariums. Did we mention that you can down a drink or three to help get the creative juices flowing? Best of all, you’ll have a souvenir to take home as a reminder of your shared experience. Scope out The Sipping Plant and Yaymaker to find a Plant Nite near you. If you can't find a location near you, never fear: they also offer virtual classes – just make sure you place your order early enough to give them time to ship you your plants.\nDo a Workout Together\nCouples who sweat together, stay together. Give your endorphins a boost by choosing a workout class – in-person or via a workout app or service – that gets both your bodies moving. You can opt for tried-and-true favorites like calisthenics or yoga, or you could take things up a notch with a fun dance workout.\nWe recommend scheduling your workout through the Peleton app, but there's no shortage of options out there.\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tValentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tTop 10 Things to Do on Valentine's Day\n\tHow to Have the Perfect Valentine's Day", "keywords": "Best, Experience, Gifts, for, Valentine’s, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_experiences/9-experience-gifts-for-valentine-s-day-to-keep-the-spark-alive/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1768404672.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_experiences/9-experience-gifts-for-valentine-s-day-to-keep-the-spark-alive.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-15 04:38:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "142659", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Keep Getting Rejected and It Is Killing My Self-Esteem", "title_slug": "i-keep-getting-rejected-and-it-is-killing-my-self-esteem", "title_hash": "b1f51081578144554a7757d3d912fc2f", "summary": "I am a young man of 25. This is my seventh year at the university, and I am currently a 600 level student here in Bambili. FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP …", "content": "

I am a young man of 25. This is my seventh year at the university, and I am currently a 600 level student here in Bambili.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

I am the squeaky-clean type. I am always clean, neat, welcoming, and very calm. But my problem is this: I have never been in a relationship. All I have ever gotten from women is rejection, and I am already tired of it.

Even friendship is a problem. I do not really have anyone I can call a friend to hang out with. I have two male friends, but I have noticed that I am always the one checking on them. It feels like I am forcing it. I go the extra mile, even visiting them sometimes, and they do not extend the same courtesy back to me. It is not that I have high expectations. I just think I should be considered, too. If they consider me a friend, I wish it felt more mutual.

The worst part is that many people do not believe I do not have a woman in my life. No matter how much I try to convince them, it is the truth. Some say a good-looking guy like me could never be single. It is frustrating.

Sometimes I sit and ask myself so many questions. I check my character. I am someone who is very caring and understanding. But things are still moving in a negative direction.

Even in my class, building friendship is difficult. Most of my classmates are like my big brothers and sisters. They are back in school to further their education, and it creates a distance.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Right now, my self-esteem is almost zero. It has been worn down by too much rejection.

—Moses

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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When my mother came to live with us, our home finally felt stable. She came to help with the children, but she ended up becoming the quiet pillar holding everything together. She cooked while my wife slept. She cleaned while my wife sat on her phone. At night, when our one-and-a-half-year-old couldn’t sleep, my mother walked him around until he slept so my wife could rest. She did all this willingly, without complaints, and for a long time, the relationship between my wife and my mother was peaceful, even warm.

But that peace created a problem I didn’t notice early enough: my wife slowly stopped doing anything at all. On the few occasions my mother wasn’t around, I noticed something unsettling. Things fell apart quickly. Food delays. The house in disarray. The baby unattended longer than he should be. My wife had unconsciously handed over almost everything to my mother. I noticed it, but I didn’t confront it. Maybe I enjoyed the calm too much to question the cost.

Then one afternoon changed everything.

I wasn’t home that day. My mother was in the kitchen cooking. The baby was on the floor in the hall, playing. My wife was on the sofa with her phone. According to my mother, everything was normal until it wasn’t. The baby pushed a small bookshelf in the hall. It wasn’t heavy, but it wasn’t fixed either. The shelf tipped over. Books came crashing down on him. His cry was loud, sharp, terrifying.

My mother rushed from the kitchen and met the boy under a pile of books, crying uncontrollably. His face was swollen. His lips were broken. My wife was trying to pick him up. That was when my mother exploded. “Can’t you put the phone down for a minute and watch your baby?” she screamed. “What kind of mother are you? Or you didn’t suffer to give birth to him that’s why you’re this careless?”

Harsh words. Words that cut deep. Words no woman wants to hear, especially not from her mother-in-law. My wife didn’t take it quietly. She went straight into defense mode. Her words were just as sharp. What started as anger quickly turned into a full-blown fight between the two women I love the most. I walked in as the argument was winding down. The tension was thick. My mother pulled me aside and told me everything that had happened. My wife, shaking with anger, shouted, “How is that my fault that you have to insult me?”

I looked at my son. There was blood in his mouth. The left side of his face was swollen. All I could think of was how hard those books must have fallen on him. I took my mother’s side and I won’t lie, I went too hard. So hard that my mother eventually left us alone to go and find balm for the baby. I added my own accusations. I spoke from fear, from shock, from anger.

When the dust settled, the baby calmed down. Life, in theory, was supposed to move on. But it didn’t. My wife has been angry with me ever since. She says I took my mother’s side without knowing the full story. I asked her, “What’s the full story? Didn’t you stay on your phone while the baby walked into danger?” That only made things worse.

She said I ganged up with my mother to tear her apart. She reported everything to her own mother, looking for support. Her mother’s advice was simple and one-sided: ” Tell your husband to send his mother away.”

When my wife told me this, I asked her calmly, “Will your mom come and do what my mom is doing when she leaves?” She replied, “Can’t you get a house help?” That question got me livid, looking at our financial situation. I said, quietly but firmly, “Shame to the lips you use to say that. Go and get your own house help and pay her with your own money.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have said it that way. Maybe I should have softened it. But at that moment, it felt unfair. My mother uprooted herself to help us, not to be treated like a disposable solution.

Now my mother is fine or at least she acts fine. She goes about her duties like nothing happened. She doesn’t complain. She doesn’t fight back. She pretends everything is normal. But my wife is fighting a silent war. She no longer eats the food my mother cooks. She won’t drink water my mother fetches. She doesn’t sit with us to watch TV anymore. She would rather leave the baby with us and press her phone alone. The same phone that started all this.

I’m scared. I’m scared because resentment grows quietly. I’m scared because my house, once peaceful, now feels divided into invisible camps. I’m scared because I’m being forced to choose between the woman who gave me life and the woman I chose to build a life with.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I don’t feel like the villain here. I feel like a man trapped in the middle, punished for reacting to his child’s pain, punished for appreciating help, punished for not pretending everything is okay when it clearly isn’t.

So I’m asking, what do I do to bring peace back into my house before something breaks beyond repair?

—Bossu

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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All of a sudden, we started arguing about money, something we never did as a married couple. Nothing I gave my wife was enough. She complained about market money and even complained about our kids’ canteen fees, an amount that was fixed. She said the canteen money wasn’t enough. That was when I knew something was wrong.

I asked if she was living with dwarfs who stole money from her at night, because I didn’t understand why, all of a sudden, whenever she had to give money to help the house, she would complain. She said her salary was not enough and that her family had started taxing her. We both send a portion of our salaries home every month. It wasn’t a new thing.

One day, I sent her mobile money to pay for some items she had to buy for me. She came home without the items. She told me she was busy at work, so she couldn’t go out to get them. Five days later, we were still arguing about the items. She then said, “Let me be honest with you, Momo fraudsters stole the money from me, but I was too embarrassed to say it.”

That sounded like the eighth wonder of the world—Momo fraudsters succeeding in defrauding my wife? Imposicant!

So I started putting my eyes on the ground to see what was going on.

One dawn, I woke up and saw her entering the washroom. I turned to my side and slept again. I woke up later to see she wasn’t there by my side. I tiptoed to the washroom and eavesdropped. I could hear the sound of a game from her phone and moaning in her voice. I pushed the door open, and she was seated on the toilet playing Aviator.

I snatched the phone from her, and that was when the truth came out. Her Momo notifications were all about betting. She had lost almost GHC 600 that dawn when I snatched the phone. What could she do apart from saying sorry? I asked when it started and how.

She had been doing it for close to a year, and I didn’t notice. A colleague at her office introduced her to it.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I deleted the apps, about four of them, and closed her accounts. I am currently monitoring her finances, including her salary. It’s hard work, but I have to before the worst happens. So guys, when you check your wife’s phone looking for evidence of cheating, please look out for evidence of betting too. Our women are not as innocent as we presume them to be.

—Godsway

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I met him on campus on a day I wasn’t even looking for anything serious. I was visiting the poolside, minding my business, enjoying the noise and laughter around me, when he struck up a conversation. It felt effortless. Natural. Before I knew it, we had exchanged contacts, and what started as casual chats slowly grew into friendship. From friendship, love crept in quietly, without announcement.

We dated for about seven months before he began doing things that made me believe this was heading somewhere real. He didn’t hide me. Instead, he introduced me to the most important people in his life. I met his mother. I met his pastor. I met his mentors. Each introduction came with meaning. Each handshake felt like a promise. In my heart, I said to myself, “No man does this if he is not serious.”

He would say things like, “I want the people who matter to me to know you, because you’re part of my future.” Those words settled deep inside me. They planted hope. They built certainty. We spoke openly about marriage, not as a distant dream, but as something we would plan when the time was right.

About a year and a half into our relationship, he got the opportunity to travel to the UK. It wasn’t easy watching him leave, but we both agreed it was for a better future—for our future. We promised each other consistency, honesty, and patience. And to be fair, communication continued well. We talked often. We prayed together. We made plans across distance.

One year after he relocated, he told me he wanted to marry me. I remember how my heart leapt when he said it. He said, “Once we marry, you’ll join me here. We’ll finally be together.”

But then reality hit us hard. His family refused. No matter how much he tried to convince them, they stood their ground. They told him instead of taking me abroad with him, he should rather take his cousin instead. According to them, it was more convenient. More acceptable. Easier for paperwork. Easier for family structure. I watched from afar as decisions about my life were being made without me. Eventually, they “worked things out.” His cousin traveled to the UK and joined him not as a visitor, not as a temporary arrangement but as his legal wife.

He has now been gone for almost four years. Yet he keeps saying, “I will come and marry you. I’m just working on my stay extension.” Every time he says it, my heart wants to believe him, but my mind keeps asking questions my heart is tired of answering.

In these years, I’ve met good men. Men who came properly. Men who spoke to my family. Men who asked for my hand in marriage without conditions or delays. But I turned them all away. Not because they weren’t good enough but because I believed in faithfulness. I believed that waiting was proof of love.

My family is worried. They ask questions I don’t have answers to. They remind me that he has never been introduced to them, even after all these years. My mother once asked gently, “My daughter, are you sure you are not waiting for someone who has already moved on?”

I had no reply. My family suggests suitors to me. They bring names. They bring proposals. And each time, I say no. Not because I enjoy waiting, but because I don’t want to be unfaithful. I don’t want to betray the years I’ve already invested. I keep telling myself, “He will come. He promised.”

But promises don’t hug you at night. Promises don’t silence family pressure. Promises don’t stop time. This year, I’m in my 30s. That fact sits heavy in my spirit. I ask myself questions I’m scared to answer. How do I know he will truly marry me? What assurance do I really have after almost five years? What can he possibly do now to prove that I’m not just an option waiting on the sidelines of his life?

Sometimes I replay everything from the beginning and wonder if I misunderstood love for intention. I wonder if meeting his mother and pastor meant as much to him as it did to me. I wonder if I’m being faithful or simply afraid to let go.

He says, “Just be patient with me.” But patience without clarity feels like punishment. I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for certainty. I’m asking for action. I’m asking for something tangible, something that tells me my life is not on pause for nothing. I don’t know what hurts more: the thought that he might never come, or the fear that I may wake up one day and realize I waited too long.

Does Your Boyfriend Know Shoe Size?

\nSo here I am, standing between loyalty and self-preservation. Between love and reality. Between the woman I promised to be and the woman time is forcing me to become. Am I waiting for marriage or I’m slowly being written out of the story? What do I do? Keep waiting or listen to my family and move on?

—Martha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "How, Long, Too, Long, Wait, for, Man, Who, Has, Married, His, Cousin", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/214242.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/how-long-is-too-long-to-wait-for-a-man-who-has-married-his-cousin/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-15 04:26:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "142102", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Communication Reset", "title_slug": "communication-reset", "title_hash": "705124fed565e8e3f1b4744f47f0440e", "summary": "Reset your communication and strengthen connection with practical, research-based steps for building a healthier, more resilient relationship.\nThe post Communication Reset appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Reset your communication and strengthen connection with practical, research-based steps for building a healthier, more resilient relationship.

The post Communication Reset appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Communication, Reset", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/GettyImages-1625501432.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/communication-reset/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-14 06:44:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "142010", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Nerdy Men Are Winning on Dating Apps", "title_slug": "why-nerdy-men-are-winning-on-dating-apps", "title_hash": "dbc03dac9b53f93018b14af6dd855697", "summary": "4 Reasons Nerdy Men Are Hot Right Now, and What You Can Do to Capitalize on It", "content": "If you consider yourself nerdy, it’s your time to shine on dating apps. \nA recent survey by Dating.com revealed that 71% of millennials think that nerds are sexy. This insight signals more than a passing trend — it’s part of a broader shift in the way people date and what is considered attractive. \n“The swiping, superficial interactions and curated profiles are exhausting. People are searching for deeper connections, which is why emotional intelligence is becoming non-negotiable,” says Jaime Bronstein, LCSW and resident therapist at Dating.com. “Priorities have shifted, and authentic, intentional bonds are now taking center stage in romantic choices.” \nRELATED: Dating Sites for Nerds & Geeks \nWondering how exactly being a nerd aligns with those changes? Here are all the factors that make nerds attractive, along with tips on successfully embracing your nerdiness while dating. \n\n4 Reasons Nerdy Men Are Hot Right Now\n\n1. Being Nerdy Signals Authenticity \nWhether it’s a love of collectible figurines or a passion for quantum physics, being nerdy is a sign that a man is comfortable with himself, quirks and all. This is a plus for a couple of reasons. \nFirst, people can sense when someone is being inauthentic, whether they’re doing it to impress others or because of insecurity. On the other hand, authenticity signals a deep-rooted confidence. It says “I accept myself and have nothing to prove. I don’t need to fit a mold.” And what’s sexier than that? \nRELATED: What Are Beige Flags and Do They Actually Matter?\nPlus, authenticity is the foundation of genuine connection, and more people are aware of this when dating. “[Daters] understand that when they show up as their authentic self, they attract people who are aligned with them, which is the foundation for a strong, long-lasting relationship,” notes Bronstein. \n2. Nerdy Men Give Off Emotionally Safe Vibes \nAccording to dating coach Laurence Houde, singles are also tired of swiping through dating profiles that feel performative even though they’re showing and saying all the right things — think, perfectly curated travel photos and mentions of therapy. \nRELATED: Dating Mistakes That Make Women Question Your Intentions \nPeople are looking for matches that feel “emotionally steady and real,” and nerdy men tend to give off that vibe. “They tend to communicate more clearly and show genuine interest,” says Houde. “That mix of consistency and showing up actually feels refreshing in a dating world that’s been impersonal for a long time.” \n3. Intelligence and a Love of Learning Are Intriguing \nNerdy men value intelligence. They’re lifelong learners. They enjoy talking about their interests. And in a world where small talk on first dates has become draining, that’s appealing. \nAs Bronstein puts it, being a nerd is a reflection of passion, consistency and curiosity, which is an attractive combo: “Intelligence and a love of learning are intriguing to many people.” \nRELATED: Qualities Women Look for in a Man \n4. Looks Are No Longer Enough to Sustain Relationships \nLet’s face it: Good looks might get you more matches. But they can only take you so far if you’re not showing up with self-awareness, good communication skills and emotional maturity. \n“Men who receive a lot of matches often don’t need to try as hard, and it shows in their interactions,” says Houde, who adds that straight women are becoming more flexible about surface-level traits like appearance but far more selective about behavior. \nOf course, you can be both nerdy and physically attractive. But what’s becoming clear is that substance matters more than ever — and nerds typically showcase plenty of green flags on that front. \n\nOnline Dating Tips for Nerdy Men\n\nIf you love the idea of proudly showing off your nerdiness while dating, Bronstein and Houde shared a few tips to help you succeed:\nLean into intelligence and authenticity: Instead of toning down your quirks, lean into them as much as possible. Houde recommends using prompts to show not just what you think, but how you think. “A little wit and curiosity land much better than trying to sound overly smooth.”Communicate thoughtfully: Houde stresses the importance of communicating thoughtfully, whether you’re crafting your profile or DMing a new match: “Effort is attractive and often what makes you stand out.” Ask thoughtful questions to get a deeper conversation going, recommends Bronstein: “Don’t settle for surface. Focus on building a connection where interest and intention are clearly shared.”Show your passion: Having niche interests and deep-diving into topics is a hallmark nerdy trait, and you should show it. “Listing hobbies isn’t enough,” adds Bronstein. “Talk about your interests in a way that draws people into your world, even if it’s not their usual beat. When passion is real, it’s attractive. Let it shine in your profile.”Don’t be afraid of being multifaceted: Finally, there’s no one-size-fits-all definition of being nerdy, so it’s OK — and encouraged — to be multifaceted “Don’t be afraid to show other sides of who you are, your sense of humor, what you find interesting, how you tell stories and what you’re looking for in a relationship. You’re not just a nerd; you’re a whole person,” says Bronstein.\nNerdy guys may have grown up feeling overlooked, but the dating world’s current shift towards authenticity and deeper connection is playing to their strengths. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nHow to Optimize Your Dating App ProfileStruggles Only Shy Guys UnderstandOvercoming the Fear of Rejection", "keywords": "Why, Nerdy, Men, Are, Winning, Dating, Apps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/why-nerdy-men-are-winning-on-dating-apps/askmen-lead-image-2x1-81-1768342797.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/why-nerdy-men-are-winning-on-dating-apps.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-14 06:39:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "142011", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Top 8 Things to Do on Valentine’s Day", "title_slug": "top-8-things-to-do-on-valentines-day", "title_hash": "70e69c2ac7065cf0b2765ab0114cec66", "summary": "Here's how to put a smile on her face.", "content": "Let's paint a picture we bet will be familiar to you fellas in relationships out there: Valentine’s Day is coming on February 14, same as it does every year, and you probably feel a lot of pressure to make the day special for your special person.\nValentine's Day is the calendar's first significant for couples new and old, and figuring out how you're going to make the day memorable will create some serious stress for you over the coming days and weeks. Part of the trouble is that it isn't just about what to do, where to eat and drink, and what to give your significant other; it's also about making choices that are appropriate to your specific relationship.\nIf you've just started dating in the last few weeks or months, you have our permission to keep it fairly casual: a dinner reservation, some flowers or chocolates, a movie. But what if you've been dating for a year, or five, or ten? What if you've been fighting or drifting apart? \nRELATED: Best Valentine's Day Ideas Based on Your Partner's Love Language\nTo help de-stress V-Day and simplify your life, we picked eight common scenarios you might face this year and offered up suggestions, solutions, date ideas and more.\n\n1. When You've Just Started Dating\n\nYou’re at the point where you haven’t made it official, but you could see it heading that way. The beginning stages of a new relationship are both filled with excitement and anxiety, where you're trying not to say either too much or too little. If you’ve already been intimate, a good way to turn up the heat and move things forward is by organizing a thoughtful, romantic dinner.\nWhether dining in at a restaurant is an option or not, a nice meal together is a good approach. If your cooking skills aren't up to snuff yet and you don't feel confident preparing something yourself, opt for a reservation at a local place, or delivery or takeout from their favorite spot.\nAfterwards, if you're both into a few drinks, why not indulge in some Valentine's Day cocktails? This is your opportunity to work on building your intimacy and passion together, which will help solidify your connection.\n\n2. When You're Going Through a Rough Patch\n\nRegardless of how long you’ve been together, sometimes, things just aren’t easy in a relationship. If you’re going through a tough time with your partner, consider taking it old school with a long, open love note. \nHere, you can detail all of the unique, impressive qualities that made you attracted to them in the first place, along with the reasons why you’re fully committed to improving your bond in the years to come.\nRELATED: Here's How to Write a Knockout Love Letter\nWithin these pages, you can suggest a date at one of their favorite restaurants, followed by a nice wine bar — once they open, of course. A little spontaneity to get you out of the routine that’s messing with your relationship may help to open up the dialogue to set things back on track.\n\n3. When You've Just Said ‘I Love You’\n\nIf you’re at the point where you’re uttering those three simple words every chance you get, Valentine’s Day is likely a holiday you and your partner are excited about. While Cupid’s busiest day of the year might have felt over-commercialized in the past, when you’re smothered in those feel-good vibes, Valentine’s Day might take on a rosier meaning now.\nLet your gushy heart be your guide and go all out on the romantic gestures, starting with flowers. \nRELATED: How to Buy Your Partner Flowers, Explained\nMany people enjoy a surprise bouquet (especially if you remember their preferences) delivered to their home, so they can brag to their friends about the wonderful partner who was thoughtful enough to send them. \nP.S. According to OrganicBouquet.com, the majority of flower orders are placed on February 11, so beat the rush and order some now.\n\n3. When You've Been Dating Over a Year\n\nThe honeymoon stage has passed, and at this point, you’re learning to settle into one another. \nUse the holiday as an opportunity to book a getaway just for the two of you, whether you're flying across the globe or just hopping in a car and escaping to somewhere rural and romantic. \nAnd as a bonus, getting out of your normal routine will often bring some of that gotta-have-you kind of sex that’s undeniable.\n\n3. When They're Really Stressed Out\n\nEven in the happiest of relationships, outside stresses — such as issues with work or health or family or ongoing global pandemics — can put a damper on things. If things are rough around Valentine’s Day, your partner might want to do something low-key to avoid adding more to their plate.\nRELATED: How to Support a Partner Through a Difficult Time\nYou ready for the challenge? Here’s where getting creative and considering their preferences is the best option. You want them to know you’re aware of how busy they have been, and that your relationship and their happiness are a priority. \nRemember, it's not about racking up the most on your credit card — a cheap Valentine's Day gift can be good! Instead, it's about showing them you remembered and that you care.\n\n4. When You Want to Spice Up Your Sex Life\n\nThe longer couples are together, the more comfortable they get with everything, from date nights to household chores, and of course, sex. \nBy now, you already know the right amount of pressure to apply to their most sensitive areas, where they like to be kissed, and what position makes them orgasm. While this is all part of understanding your partner from the inside out, there’s more to be done to turn up the intensity of your love life.\nFor your Valentine’s Day celebration, you should cook dinner at home. Then, focus on making the evening all about them. Whether that involves drawing a bubble bath for two, giving a hot oil massage, or gifting her a new, sexy bathrobe, the more comfortable and loved they feel, the more likely they’ll be to explore things with you.\nWhen it’s time to have sex, take your time going down on them. By initiating oral sex and making sure they're warmed up and ready to go, you’ll make the sex hotter. From here, suggest a new position you want to try, or bring out a toy you’ve purchased. They’ll be impressed by your bedroom efforts.\n\n5. When You're Broke Newlyweds\n\nIf you just got married within the last year, you’re likely still working on getting your savings back to where they were before tying the knot. This can cause stress in your relationship as many couples argue over finances and their plans for the future.\nThe week of Valentine’s Day, put the money chat on hold and instead, focus on the point of the holiday. Make it your mission to recreate a smaller version of the magic from the day you said “I do.” Start by bringing out those wedding photos, picking up a cake similar to the one you had at your reception, and grabbing a nice bottle of champagne. \nThey'll love the sweet attention to detail, and might even be inspired to recreate some of that super hot, gotta-have-my-husband-right-now honeymoon sex, too.\nThere are also a number of cheap Valentine's Day gifts to choose from if you're feeling a little uninspired, bouquet-wise.\n\n6. When You're Recently Single\n\nMost men (78 percent to be exact) don’t mind if they’re dateless on Valentine’s Day. Considering the stakes become instantly lower and your expenses significantly cheaper, being omitted from any celebratory gifts or obligations might feel refreshing. On the other hand, if you’re just out of a relationship, you might be missing the experience of being with someone you care about. This is a normal part of a recovery process that teaches you how to understand, process, and express your feelings in a healthy way.\nTo help make the love-oriented holiday pass less painfully, round up your single guy friends and coordinate a game night. Maybe that means some cooperative online gaming or tackling a board game over a Zoom call. Whatever you go with, the important thing is to reconnect with your closest buddies.\n\n7. When They're Not a Fan of V-Day\n\nIf your partner has casually mentioned that they don't need to celebrate V-Day, take their word for it, but suggest doing something fun anyway with no rose petals or champagne required.\nTry something neither of you have ever done before, whether that’s cooking a gourmet meal or starting a new Netflix series together. Whatever it might be, you don’t have to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to do something exciting. Instead, you’ll remember together the most exciting gift of all is the company of a partner in crime who says “yes” to your every whim and bright idea, no matter how crazy it might be.\n\n8. When You’ve Been Together So Long That You Forgot to Plan Anything\n\nBefore you put yourself in the dog house, remember that there are plenty of last-minute romantic things and last-minute Valentine's Day gifts for those who let the holiday slip their mind. Unless you confess to your tardiness, you don’t even have to concoct a little white lie to cover up your forgetfulness.\nAn easy solution when you’ve been dating someone for so long is opting to buy rose petals at the florist and make a scavenger hunt around the apartment, all with reasons they are wonderful, hot, sexy, and smart. The biggest thing to remember about this holiday is to just make it special for them. Show off your love!\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Valentine's Day Gifts for Her\n\tTop Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Him\n\tValentine's Day Travel Ideas", "keywords": "Top, Things, Valentine’s, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_experiences/top-10-things-to-do-on-valentine-s-day/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1768315823.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_experiences/top-10-things-to-do-on-valentine-s-day.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-14 06:39:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141821", "lang_id": "1", "title": "This Marriage Offer Gives Me Peace and Terrifies Me at the Same Time", "title_slug": "this-marriage-offer-gives-me-peace-and-terrifies-me-at-the-same-time", "title_hash": "f3caa1becf035c46aa870a69c350e692", "summary": "About six months ago, I had a call from one of my bosses. I’m a teacher, so it was from one of our officers. That day, he called me to …", "content": "

About six months ago, I had a call from one of my bosses. I’m a teacher, so it was from one of our officers. That day, he called me to his office. It was actually my birthday. He told me he wanted to have a discussion with me.

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He said he has a friend who wants to get married soon. He has been vouching for me, that I was the only one who came to mind. I am 34 and very much single. Men have shown me the difference between the red, green, and yellow ones. I have fumbled some good ones, truth be told, and now I am just focusing on my life and what is there for me. I don’t know if I’m just tired.

He said we should pray about it, and that when I decided, we would go to meet this mystery man. It was a hard decision to make. Should I go meet this man? Maybe he is the love of my life. I mean, these things have happened before; we have all heard the stories. So I took the mantle. I agreed.

Early this year, I dressed up in my best outfit and walked out my door to meet the man who wanted to get married. This man, his friend, is a very, very respectable man in Accra. A very humble man. And we had the talk.

The man who is outside the country and wants a wife… is still married. As in, married to a woman. Apparently, he can’t leave the wife because they have two autistic children, and it has been very stressful for them. And he was honest about it. He is not one who would tell me he would leave his wife for me and build castles in the air. The children are grown now, and they want to have more children who can help their older siblings manage their funds and take care of them. According to him, that is where I come in, if I agree.

We’ve been talking for almost four months now, and I don’t know what to do. Should I take this chance? Is this the bare minimum? Or is this the best out there for me?

I’m so confused about what my final decision should be. Today I want it, tomorrow I don’t. I am sure my mom would have agreed to this arrangement, but she’s late. I have this mom’s friend who has been acting as my mommy, and I don’t know if she’ll agree or not.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

The man wants to come to Ghana in June. I’ve prayed over it, and I feel a strange sense of peace about it, but I don’t know if this mom’s friend will allow us to get married.

For me, I believe even if I should just get pregnant, it should be with a responsible man. That’s all I ask. But right now, I just don’t know what to do.

-Lucia

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", "keywords": "This, Marriage, Offer, Gives, Peace, and, Terrifies, the, Same, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/8873.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/this-marriage-offer-gives-me-peace-and-terrifies-me-at-the-same-time/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-14 06:29:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141820", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m a Responsible Man Ready for Marriage but Women Run From Me Because of Where I Live", "title_slug": "im-a-responsible-man-ready-for-marriage-but-women-run-from-me-because-of-where-i-live", "title_hash": "6468531aec77de4468d8b31762506878", "summary": "I am thirty-five years old, and I still live in my parents’ house. That sentence alone has ended relationships for me. Not arguments. Not fights. Just that one fact, sitting …", "content": "

I am thirty-five years old, and I still live in my parents’ house.

That sentence alone has ended relationships for me. Not arguments. Not fights. Just that one fact, sitting quietly between me and a woman, eventually grows teeth and bites the relationship to death.

I didn’t plan my life this way. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide that at thirty-five, I would still be answering, “Yes, I live with my parents,” with a mix of embarrassment and forced confidence. Life simply unfolded this way, and in Ghana, life has a way of doing that without asking for your consent.

I have a job. Not a glamorous one, not one that makes people whistle when they hear the salary, but a decent one. I earn enough to eat well, contribute at home, help my parents when they need it, and still have something small left at the end of the month. I float. I’m not drowning, but I’m not sailing either.

After school, I came back home. At first, it was temporary. Just until I got on my feet. Then my father fell ill briefly. Then my younger siblings needed support. Then rent prices started behaving like they were chasing dollars instead of cedis. Before I knew it, temporary had quietly turned into permanent.

My father’s house is big. Not mansion-big, but big enough. There are free rooms. Empty rooms that echo at night. Rooms that have held cousins, uncles, visitors from the village, and friends who needed a place to stay “for a short while.” No one ever questioned their presence. But when it’s me, suddenly it’s a character flaw.

The first woman I lost because of this hurt the most. I loved her genuinely. We connected deeply. We laughed easily. I thought I had finally found someone who saw me beyond surface things. Then one day she asked to visit. I hesitated, not because I was hiding anything, but because I knew what was coming.

She came anyway. She was polite. She greeted my parents respectfully. She smiled. She even ate the food my mother served. But after that day, something changed. She didn’t want to visit again. Her calls became shorter. Eventually, she told me the truth, “I’m not comfortable dating a man who still lives with his parents,” she said. “I can’t picture myself coming here all the time. It makes me feel like I’m dating a boy, not a man.”

I tried to explain. I talked about money. About responsibility. About how living with my parents didn’t mean I was irresponsible or dependent. She listened, nodded, and still walked away.

After her, I told myself I wouldn’t let it hurt me again. I met another lady. This one didn’t even last long enough for emotions to fully form. We were talking, laughing, almost there. Then she casually asked where I lived. I answered honestly. She didn’t argue. She didn’t insult me. She simply disappeared. No explanation. No closure. Just silence.

That silence was loud.

By then, I had already saved some money to move out. Not a fortune, but something. When I started looking at rent prices in Accra, my heart sank. One year advance. Two years in some places. Agency fees. Utility deposits. Suddenly, the money I had saved looked like a joke.

I asked myself hard questions. Should I really empty my entire savings just to prove adulthood? Should I struggle every month, stressing over rent, just to meet a social expectation, when I have a roof over my head and responsibilities already waiting for me at home? So I stayed.

Then I met Lucy. This one felt different. She was intelligent, grounded, and clear about what she wanted in life. We talked about marriage openly. About timelines. About values. For once, I allowed myself to imagine settling down. I told her everything upfront. I didn’t hide my living situation.

She listened. Then she said something that has been ringing in my ears ever since.

“I like you,” she said. “But we can’t start anything serious until you’re ready to leave your parents’ house and be a man.”

I told her I loved her. I told her I wanted to settle. I promised that once we got serious, I would move out. That I just needed time, planning, and stability. She shook her head.

“No,” she said. “You move out first. Then we get serious.”

That was the condition.

Since then, I’ve been torn in two. One part of me understands her. Independence is loudly equated with manhood. A man should have his own place. A man should not bring a woman into his parents’ home. Society repeats this so often that it starts to sound like law.

But another part of me feels deeply misunderstood.

I am not lazy. I am not irresponsible. I am not hiding behind my parents. I contribute to the house. I support my family. I plan carefully. I think long-term. I don’t want to rush into poverty just to look independent on the outside.

Does it really make economic sense to leave a house with free rooms, emotional support, and shared responsibilities, just to satisfy a label? Looking at how salaries crawl and rent runs, is it wisdom or pride to move out before you are ready?

I feel like a victim of timing. A victim of expectations that don’t consider context. Sometimes, I listen to the sounds of the house, my mother moving about, my father coughing softly, the familiar creaks of a place that has held my life together. I ask myself if love should really demand that I abandon this stability before it even begins.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I want to love and be loved. I want to marry. I want a home of my own one day. But I also want to make decisions that won’t break me financially just to prove a point. So I’m asking you, should I rent for love? Or you say I should let her go and wait for another woman who will understand my situation?

—Asabir

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*****

", "keywords": "I’m, Responsible, Man, Ready, for, Marriage, but, Women, Run, From, Because, Where, Live", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/139825.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/im-a-responsible-man-ready-for-marriage-but-women-run-from-me-because-of-where-i-live/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-14 06:29:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141819", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Man Who Loves Me Genuinely is Also Ashamed to Be Seen With Me", "title_slug": "the-man-who-loves-me-genuinely-is-also-ashamed-to-be-seen-with-me", "title_hash": "d2511a8a16a29c803926e0b937052bf2", "summary": "I’ve struggled with love because of my size. They call me fat, but I see that as a compliment because I have everything in excess: body, kindness, love, patience, and …", "content": "

I’ve struggled with love because of my size. They call me fat, but I see that as a compliment because I have everything in excess: body, kindness, love, patience, and understanding. I’ve dated men and loved them genuinely, but they all end up leaving when I start asking when we are getting married. They don’t see themselves getting married to a woman my size. Three years after being single, I met Andy.

He loves me so much, and it shows in everything he does for me, in secrecy. I say secrecy because that’s the only place his love for me shines. We’ve been dating for nine months, but no one knows about it. Not his friends, not his family, or anyone for that matter. He tells me that when anyone gets to know about our relationship, it will come to an end, so I should give him time to do things slowly.

He’s the only man I’ve dated who doesn’t take money from me or ask me to do crazy things just because I love him. He supports me financially, buys me gifts, and is always there for me, but he won’t take me out on a date because people will see us.

I’m not a girl. I’m not about to start life. I’m thirty, and that means this is the time for me to start something serious. I love marriage. I love companionship, and I want to see all these in Andy. Yes, I see all that but only when we are alone. I go through our messages, and I always smile to myself. He’s poetic with words and naughty with phrases. I like them just like that, but my problem now is that he won’t show me to anyone and won’t allow me to show him to anyone.

What do I do in this situation? Should I keep trusting that one day he will unfurl our love for the world to see, or should I start getting scared and probably walk away? How long is too long to stay hidden?

—Samantha

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", "keywords": "The, Man, Who, Loves, Genuinely, Also, Ashamed, Seen, With", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/427445.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-man-who-loves-me-genuinely-is-also-ashamed-to-be-seen-with-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-14 06:29:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141818", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Gave Me a Fake Ring, Met My Parents, Took the Dowry List, Then Disappeared", "title_slug": "he-gave-me-a-fake-ring-met-my-parents-took-the-dowry-list-then-disappeared", "title_hash": "7b9b40a1292f73914f689873662a4ac6", "summary": "We met on a platform on WhatsApp, and he took a special interest in me. He came into my inbox one day, asking questions about me and asking if I …", "content": "

We met on a platform on WhatsApp, and he took a special interest in me. He came into my inbox one day, asking questions about me and asking if I could be his special friend. I asked the meaning of “special friend,” and he said, “Someone who can call you at any time and talk about everything freely.” I told him, “My guy, please go straight to the point and stop beating about the bush. Are you looking for a relationship?” He answered, “Maybe one day we’ll get there, but for a start, we should be friends.”

I agreed to be friends with him, so we chatted often, and he called me on WhatsApp video very frequently too. I suspected he wasn’t in Ghana, but I didn’t ask questions. He was always inside a room, but you could still see foreign signs. He was using a local number, so I got confused somehow until he said he was in New Jersey.

A few months later, he started talking about a relationship. I asked him, “So you mean to tell me that there are no women in New Jersey?” He talked about how difficult it was to meet a woman and how you had to meet people on dating apps, and why he didn’t like that idea. He said, “I want a home woman. A woman well raised with culture and the fear of God.”

I also told him what I expected from a man I wanted to date. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the distance, and he said he came home often and even promised that if everything went according to plan, we would be together as soon as we got married. I told him when I date, I don’t expect intimacy to happen until we are married. Then he asked, “It means you’re a virgin.” I answered, “No, I’m not, but I’ve learned my lessons, so for the past three relationships I’ve been in, I didn’t give the men sex.”

He applauded my stand and said he wanted a woman as strong as me. I asked if he had kids. He said no. I asked if he hadn’t given the same promise he was giving to me to another woman in Ghana, and he laughed. He said, “You’ll believe me when you see me.”

So a relationship started. I didn’t ask him to give me anything or ship anything to me, but he would wake up one morning and ask me, “There are some TVs I want to ship to you. Five of them. You can even sell them. Do you want them?” I would say I wanted them, and I wouldn’t hear of the TVs again. He mentioned phones that never came. He mentioned a set of sofas. He mentioned clothes. They all didn’t come. What came were excuses.

I wasn’t expecting him to take care of me or do anything extra, so I was surprised at how he felt pressured to promise what he couldn’t deliver. After nine months of dating and consistently talking on the phone, he sent me only $100. He sent it to me on my birthday. I was so happy, I thanked him consistently for days. He said, “Oh, this is even small. You’ll see big things coming.”

Then he started talking about coming to Ghana. Anytime he talked about that, he mentioned that he couldn’t wait to be with me and do things to me. I reminded him of my stand. “I told you not to expect intimacy, remember?” He asked, “Oh, you mean forever and ever you’re not going to give it to me?” I answered, “Of course that’s not what I mean. If we become serious and I see concrete commitment, why not?”

He came to Ghana in November, and the very day we met, he asked me to close my eyes. I closed them and opened them and saw him kneeling on one leg. I was shocked. That wasn’t part of the conversation at all. I said yes, and he put the ring on my finger. The ring looked very expensive, looking at the packaging it came with. He said it was rose gold—sparkling pink.

That night, he expected something to happen, and I actually wanted to give in, but the voice in my head whispered, “Patience. Not too fast.” He tried, but I kept saying no, telling him it was too soon. “We just met. Let’s get to know each other very well,” I told him.

He was in Ghana on November 7th. On November 13th, he said he wanted to meet my parents and introduce himself. Another milestone that got me very excited, and I loved the fact that it came from his own initiative and not mine. I took him home to see everyone who mattered in my life. He told my dad he would like to get the dowry list before he went back because he was going to marry me the next time he returned.

Everything was moving too fast, but I’ve come to learn that when God is in your boat, everything happens very fast: the storm goes quiet very fast. You throw a net, and quickly it’s full of fish. The stormy seas lay low very fast. Fast is the doing of the Lord, so I was never scared.

Because everything was moving too fast, my heart followed, and my defenses crashed down very fast too. That same night, I spread myself wide so he could dig for gold. He called it a beautiful night and even thanked me for believing in him. It happened again and again while I cooked for him with my own money and cleaned after him like a king. I thought he was going to celebrate Christmas, but he said his break was ending and he had to leave.

He left on the 11th of December with smiles and contentment, but since he got to New Jersey, everything changed. Whenever we had a video call, he wanted to see me intimately. I told him I wasn’t comfortable. He asked that I send intimate photos. I said no. He retorted, “It looks like you came into this relationship only to say no. Do you know the kind of cold I suffer here? Just photos to keep me warm too, you say no. How are we going to keep this relationship going then?”

After that, he went silent on me. My last message to him was last week. He has read it but hasn’t responded. I go out and send him beautiful photos, but he says nothing. One morning, I looked at the ring and realized it was fading. I’m not an expert in gold, but does rose gold fade just within weeks?

This makes me feel the whole thing was a plan just to get me to keep him company while he was here in Ghana. How can someone who did everything right while here all of a sudden can’t reply to my messages just because I won’t send him crazy photos? But then, I’m also not shocked because I know the length some men will go just to get sex. And it’s not about how early or how late you give it to them—they are the ones carrying the plans, so they know exactly how to make it work.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I’ve stopped trying to get him to talk to me. I’ve taken off the ring. I took a photo of it and sent it to him: “Your rose gold has faded, just like the love you said you have for me. You won, champ.”

—Asantewaa

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*****

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My husband and I dated for two years before we tied the knot. In our dating period, we didn’t see much of each other, even though we were in neighboring cities. He was in Town A and I was in Town B. We only saw each other a few times, and also because we were bent on doing things the Christian way, no temptations whatsoever. So not seeing each other was an unspoken boundary in our relationship.

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When we got married, it was glorious. We finally had the chance to do all the things we had been trying not to do. Then my husband convinced me to relocate to his city so we could live together as husband and wife. I knew I would be tired commuting every day to my workplace because it was quite a distance, but he promised he would handle the house chores. And I nodded and agreed. If he said he would, then he would.

We also agreed to join our finances, as husband and wife. So every month, on payday, the money didn’t sit comfortably in my account. I would send it to him almost immediately, like clockwork. In return, he would allocate the money for our various household expenses. He is the man. Did I have a problem with it? No. He is the head of the family, so I let him take his responsibilities.

However, my experience of being married these last couple of months has been far from pleasant.

I am constantly tired when I get home. My husband only helps me when I ask him to, but it is made clear that it is solely my responsibility. He tells me, “You’re the wife, your responsibility is to take care of me and the house. It is your duty only.”

Worst of it, he usually takes several days to send me money that I have asked for. I always disclose my expenditures, but he doesn’t always share his financial decisions. I just went from being an independent woman to someone who is begging for her own money. Money I worked for.

I feel deceived. I gave up my life, and I have made too many sacrifices. Now I don’t know whether I made a good decision moving in with my husband, or if I should have maintained our separate lives.

I have tried every means I know to talk to him. I have used the womanly prowess I know, but it’s as if he is immune to it. We always end up fighting. And when we do, he goes mute. He won’t talk to me for days. I thought it was women who used these tactics. Why are the men taking it up? I want us to address our issues, but it always ends the same.

These days, I am also vexed. Angry. Frustrated. I am angry with myself for what I am going through. Angry that I walked into this fire with my shoulders high and my eyes on the prize. And even though he has acknowledged that he has a problem with communication, it doesn’t make my life better because he is not making any effort to change or do better.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

It has even affected our bedroom life. I thought the early years of marriage were going to be about finally doing the deed so much you’d run from it. But now, if we fight in the morning, that’s it. I know and I am certain that the ‘do’ at night is off the table. I often feel starved. I didn’t get it when we were dating, and even now being married, girl is still not getting it. I have also pointed this out, and he said to me that he is not like most men and doesn’t need sex a lot.

Someone said when a man says this, he is either cheating, getting it from somewhere, or he doesn’t like you.

Perhaps I am overthinking, so I would like to hear the thoughts of married men and women from this platform.

—Beatrice

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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When our first child was born in 2010, my husband and I didn’t understand how profoundly disability would shape our lives.

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As our son grew, he missed milestones and had frequent, epic meltdowns that left us both exhausted. At age 8, Owen was diagnosed as autistic (Owen is a pseudonym I’m using to protect his privacy).

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A year later, our daughter—born four years after Owen—received the same diagnosis.

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The medical picture grew more complex for both of them: Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, hearing loss, vision issues, and migraines.

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Like many families of disabled children, one parent had to step away from paid work to manage their care. For us, that was me. I’ve never felt like I was “just” my kids’ mom. I’m their case manager, care coordinator, teacher, chaos tamer, and nervous system soother. The repairer of drywall and hurt feelings. No one paid me for this labor. It was just what a “good mom” was expected to do.

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Until, that is, a transformative Idaho program changed everything.

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Recognizing—and compensating—unpaid labor

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In 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic, Idaho expanded its Medicaid-funded Personal Care Service (PCS) Program to allow parents and spouses—so-called “legally responsible individuals”—to serve as paid caregivers for their disabled loved ones.

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Traditionally, the PCS program provides helpers to assist with non-medical tasks like bathing, grooming, doing laundry, and prepping meals. Idaho’s pandemic-era expansion was designed to support the medically vulnerable by allowing family members—who were previously barred from receiving federal funds for providing those services—to be paid.

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And when the federal public health emergency ended in 2023, the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare extended the Family Personal Care Services (FPCS) initiative, which is funded by Medicaid.

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My family applied in 2024 after both of my children’s support needs increased significantly. Each child was approved for 25 hours per week of government-funded personal care support. By the state’s calculations, I provided 50 hours of care each week beyond what parents of non-disabled kids do.

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For the first time, the hidden work I’d done for more than a decade was visible.

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But that acknowledgement came to an end when the state requested permission to cancel the program on Dec. 6, 2024. After approval by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the program was officially terminated on July 15, 2025.

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Thousands of caretakers like me are now waiting to see how the Idaho Legislature responds to the resulting crisis when their session begins in mid-January 2026.

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‘We want to know our child is safe.’

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Across the country, Medicaid-funded home and community-based service programs struggle to recruit and retain workers. This chronic workforce shortage, coupled with the high cost of institutionalized care, has prompted many states—among them Colorado, Arizona, and California—to allow family members to serve as Medicaid-paid caregivers.

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Research shows programs like these may improve continuity of care and reduce unnecessary hospitalizations. They can also help disabled people remain safely in their homes, as reported by Fair Care Idaho, a nonprofit I cofounded in 2025.

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Idaho’s caregiver shortage is particularly severe. Medicaid reimbursement rates only allow caregivers to earn around $12 to $16 an hour. MIT estimates Idaho’s basic living wage for a childless adult to be $23 an hour. There simply aren’t enough trained workers willing or able to travel long distances to provide in-home care for so little money.

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Todd Achilles, a former Idaho lawmaker and current independent U.S. Senate candidate, said the Family Personal Care Services program was created to solve precisely this problem.

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“There are not enough caregivers in the state, and the compensation is so low,” Achilles said. “This is a good, small government program that is efficient when the families do it.”

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He argued that allowing parents and spouses to serve as paid caregivers recognizes both families’ right to care for their loved ones, and the state’s obligation to support that care in the most cost-effective way possible.

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“It’s basic economics,” Achilles added.

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Even for families approved for government-paid services, there is often no one available to deliver them. That’s how I got approved by a home care agency at the rate of $16.50 an hour to take care of my own children.

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Becoming their full-time caregiver allowed me to focus on them, rather than juggling the multiple freelance contracts I held to make ends meet while my caregiving duties were unpaid.

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Prioritizing their daily care enabled me to identify worsening health issues before they escalated, consistently follow through on therapies, and help my kids practice independent self-care skills.

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Their care became proactive instead of reactive. For the first time, we went more than a year without a hospitalization, emergency room visit, or surgery.

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Trixy Wade, a mother and disability rights advocate from Idaho’s Treasure Valley, saw similar results when her husband became their child’s paid caregiver. Wade’s 10-year-old daughter, Harper, doesn’t speak, uses a wheelchair, and relies on a surgically placed feeding tube in her small intestine to eat.

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When her husband was Harper’s paid caregiver, Wade told me in an email, the family didn’t have to “worry she’s being mistreated and can’t tell us,” fear that “she’s being touched inappropriately,” or wonder whether “her feeds are being administered properly.”

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Families face impossible choices

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On July 15, 2025, the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare terminated the Family Personal Care Service program, citing concerns about suspected fraud and limited oversight capacity. Disability advocates have been unable to verify these claims despite multiple public records (disclosure: those requests were filed primarily by a parents group that I am loosely affiliated with).

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At the time, the state projected that the program would cost Idaho around $10 million a year. Approximately 55 to 65 percent of those funds went directly to caregivers’ wages, according to research by Fair Care Idaho.

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The remaining costs covered state-required administrative and nursing oversight provided by the home care agencies that serve as an intermediary between families and Medicaid.

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This change left approximately thousands across Idaho without caregiving support—again. The state hasn’t publicly reported the exact number of participants, but estimates indicate some 1,200 children and over 200 adults with disabilities lost a lifeline.

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Like mine, Wade’s family now faces impossible choices.

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“We’re expected to work, parent, teach, and be full-time caregivers without support—and that’s not sustainable,” she said. “There are still no caregivers available, so the responsibility falls back on my husband and me.”

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“It’s exhausting,” she added, “but what choice do we have?”

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Lara Goers lives in Emmett, Idaho, a small town outside Boise. She tried for years to find reliable caregivers for her son, Pete.

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“It’s a huge challenge to get people to drive over the hill between Boise and Emmett, especially in the winter,” she told me.

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Even when she found candidates, they couldn’t meet Pete’s substantial needs.

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“I have never had a caregiver I could fully trust with Pete. Either they aren’t strong enough to lift him, can’t manage his behavior, can’t read him properly, or can’t be there for all the time we need support,” she said.

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In January 2025, Idaho was cited by the U.S. Department of Justice for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act, finding that the state’s long-term care system unnecessarily segregates people with disabilities in nursing facilities and places others at serious risk of institutionalization. Federal investigators concluded Idaho had failed to provide adequate access to home and community-based services.

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Just months after this citation, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services approved the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare’s request to eliminate the Family Personal Care Services program—one of the few ways disabled Idahoans could consistently receive care in their homes.

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A ‘solution’ that fails families

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Since the program’s termination, Idaho families are back to cobbling together unsustainable and oftentimes unsafe care arrangements for their disabled loved ones.

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Survey research conducted by Fair Care Idaho finds that when care is delayed or inconsistent, medical costs increase, and health outcomes worsen. It also shows that families with one parent serving as an unpaid caregiver are more likely to rely on federal food, housing, and disability programs to make ends meet. All this is costly to the state.

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Other research, both from the U.S. and abroad, has determined that rates of hospitalization, emergency care, and institutionalization rise. These outcomes also cost governments money.

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Ultimately, all of this increases pressure on Idaho’s already-strained medical and financial resources.

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“We need a system that balances oversight with flexibility, so people aren’t left without safe, dependable care simply because they live in a small town or on a back road,” Jeremy Maxand, executive director of Idaho’s Living Independence Network Corporation, a nonprofit serving people with disabilities, told Rewire News Group in an email.

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“Choice matters, and families must remain part of the solution.”

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The state’s proposed solution to ending FPCS is that non-legally responsible relatives—such as grandparents, aunts, or siblings—can step in as paid caregivers. For many families, that solution doesn’t exist.

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Goers has no nearby family. Neither do I.

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“I never get a break,” Goers said.

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I know the feeling. Idaho’s FPCS program made it possible to shoulder.

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Caregiving and the gender wage gap

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The economics of disability care have gendered consequences.

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More than 60 percent of unpaid care in the United States is done by women. A 2023 U.S. Department of Labor analysis found that unpaid family caregiving reduces a mother’s lifetime earnings by an average of 15 percent, and limits retirement savings—both factors that increase her lifetime risk of poverty.

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In Idaho, there is hope that legislators may restore some safety and stability to families of people with disabilities in 2026.

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A Democrat-sponsored bill with bipartisan support will be introduced during the next Idaho legislative session, which begins Jan. 12, 2026. The bill would allow legally responsible individuals to once again serve as paid caregivers under Medicaid.

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We are already doing the work. Many of us are the only ones qualified and willing to provide it.

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I wish I could just be a mom to my children. But for them to thrive, I have to be much more than that. For a brief period, Idaho’s government recognized how much the state relies on the labor of parents like me.

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Compensating us for that work isn’t charity. It is, as Achilles said, basic economics.

The post Raising Children With Disabilities Is Hard Work. Why Did Idaho Abandon Parents Like Me? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The stillbirth rate in the United States may be higher than previously known, recently published research has found.

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A team at Harvard University reviewed more than 18,800 instances of stillbirth, which is defined as fetal death at or after 20 weeks of gestation. In more than 27 percent of these cases, the researchers could not identify a clinical risk factor like high blood pressure during pregnancy, gestational diabetes, or decreased fetal movement.

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The study, which looked at private health insurance claims for births from 2016-2022 found that there are about 6.8 stillbirths per every 1,000 deliveries—roughly 18 percent higher than federal data from a similar time period, which estimated 5.73 stillbirths per every 1,000 deliveries. The rate was double for Black patients, who had a stillbirth rate of 10.34 for every 1,000 deliveries.

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The peer-reviewed research, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in October 2025, also showed that nearly 30 percent of the documented cases occurred in people with no personal health condition, life circumstance, or fetal medical problem that would have put them at a higher risk for a stillbirth.

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“The fact that we aren’t able to fully reconcile these numbers suggests a need for better data on stillbirth, and infrastructure and resources to collect better data,” Haley Sullivan, the paper’s primary author, told Rewire News Group.

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RNG spoke with Sullivan, a doctoral student in health policy at Harvard University, about the surprising gap between federal and commercial insurance data revealed by the study, and what these findings mean for pregnant people.

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The following conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

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What would you say was the main discovery of your study?

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The first is that stillbirth rates in the United States are high. In our study, we find that they’re higher than have been previously reported. The second main finding we see is that a lot of stillbirths, especially stillbirths late in pregnancy, are happening without an identified clinical risk factor. Overall, over the entire course of pregnancy, most stillbirths do have a clinical risk factor. But later in pregnancy, we find that nearly 30 percent don’t.

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What should patients take away from these findings?

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Many people think of stillbirth as something that is incredibly, incredibly rare, and not something that we need to devote resources to fixing. What we want people to take away from this study is that stillbirth still happens. It can happen early in pregnancy, it can happen late in pregnancy. It can happen with clinical risk factors, without the presence of clinical risk factors.

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We just don’t know enough about stillbirth, generally. And we need more resources, more research, more attention on the issue of stillbirth to be able to make progress on stillbirth prevention.

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It’s also important to highlight that the U.S. is generally doing worse than other comparable countries in terms of their stillbirth rate. And so a lot of clinicians, a lot of researchers, a lot of advocates feel that there’s a lot more that the U.S. medical system, generally, and policy system, and epidemiological monitoring system could be doing to help identify where the stillbirth burden is highest and target efforts to reduce stillbirth.

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Are the risk factors you’ve identified things that pregnant people can control?

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It’s not a helpful framework for people who have had a stillbirth—or people in general—to think about the pregnant person as being to blame for a stillbirth. … Clinical risk factors are difficult to control in the same way that it’s difficult to control many health conditions. And we don’t necessarily blame other health outcomes of someone having hypertension on them having hypertension.

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We also look at sociodemographic factors, like area-level measures of income and race. And we see significant differences there, and those are not things that people are able to control about themselves.

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Similarly, we see significant differences across age, and that’s not something someone can control about themselves.

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What risk factors were most closely related to stillbirths?

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Fetal anomaly was the top one, and that’s 15.4 per 1,000 births. The next one is oligohydramnios, [or too little amniotic fluid], which has 15.15 stillbirths per 1,000 births. And the next highest clinical risk factor is chronic hypertension, which is 10.51 per 1,000 births.

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In terms of the lack of identifiable risk factors, do you have a sense of why?

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That 30 percent number is for pregnancies happening at 40 or more weeks gestation. And 40 weeks is considered the regular length of a pregnancy. For these later stillbirths, there might need to be more research done on exactly what the cause of those still births was, and potentially if there are risk factors that we’re missing, that might be harder to sort of measure, or that we’re not measuring right now.

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Is there another conclusion you’d particularly want to highlight for other researchers?

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It’s always important to think about stillbirth as a [pregnancy] outcome. And oftentimes, some studies—for various reasons—only look at live births. I think stillbirths are very much worth studying.

The post Stillbirths May Be More Common in U.S. Than Previously Known—Study appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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I had been with my pregnant client for hours at our local hospital—breathing with intention through each contraction, performing hip squeezes through the night, when, finally, it was time to help her pivot when her birth plan no longer matched her birth reality.

My client was tired. She was powerful. She was doing it. And I was there to remind her, with every surge of pain, that she wasn’t doing it alone.

Our relationship had been growing for months. We met for the first time during her second trimester at a coffee shop. We talked about her past birth experiences, what she expected of me as her doula, and her ideal birth plan. Over the next few weeks, we continued our communication virtually. She would check in after prenatal appointments, and I would provide her with resources on breastfeeding and anything else that would help her thrive.

Later in the pregnancy, I paid her a home visit. For days, she’d been more uncomfortable, dealing with the “growing pains” of pregnancy. My client’s partner and I explored how he could support her during this stage by helping with stretches and by using a Rebozo cloth to ease her discomfort. This was the perfect setting to then explore with him how he wanted to support her during labor, whether that be communicating her preferences to her care team if she wasn’t able to, making sure her favorite music was playing, or tag-teaming hip squeezes with me.

Like any pregnant person, she would continue to have unique and specific needs after giving birth. Together, we crafted a postpartum plan that included who would visit, how she’d get rest, and even who would make dinner while she recovered.

In my view, a doula is an essential piece of the reproductive health care puzzle at a time when labor and delivery wards are closing nationwide. This is especially true in places like my hometown in rural Alabama, which is home to historically marginalized communities and limited access to care. Doulas step in to provide culturally responsive support, a gap that many doctors cannot fill. Yet many people don’t quite understand what it is we do.

What does a doula do?

Doulas’ work is often misunderstood. Some people see us as luxury add-ons or “birth hippies,” fringe figures in labor and delivery. Alternatively, we’re often mistaken for midwives, who provide clinical care on top of offering emotional and physical support.

Our role is different: Doulas traditionally offer emotional, physical, and informational support during pregnancy and up to three months postpartum. Some doulas offer support up to one year after birth. We are trained professionals who provide continuous, personalized support. Our role is to walk with birthing people through one of life’s most vulnerable transitions, offering guidance, reassurance, and a grounded presence every step of the way.

My journey with parents was an ordinary part of my work as a doula. Now, as a fourth-year medical student with plans to become an OB-GYN, my medical training has only deepened my understanding and appreciation for the unique care doulas provide patients.

The word “doula” means “female servant ” and comes from Greek origin. They provide pregnancy, birth, and postpartum support, and almost always work alongside doctors or midwives. Many states don’t have mandatory training or certification requirements, and doulas aren’t licensed. But many doulas elect to undergo hours of professional training provided by a doula training organization. This training is then followed by the option to become certified, which entails readings, examinations, and continuing education.

Doulas meet pregnant people where they are. That might mean discussing past trauma that could affect their labor experience, role-playing how to communicate boundaries with family, or talking through fears about pain, control, or judgment. We explore how a parent wants to feel in their birth space—generally, a hospital, birthing center, or at home. We write into their birth plan the elements that would help them feel most at ease—whether that’s soft music, quiet encouragement, or dim lights and warmth.

During labor, I might guide a client through Spinning Babies techniques—gentle movements and positions to help the baby achieve the optimal position for an easier birth—or translate medical terminology in real-time. I might encourage a partner to step in and help advocate for the birthing person’s needs when things get overwhelming.

After birth, I help people recognize signs of postpartum depression, discuss infant feeding options, and create practical plans for daily life—who’s doing laundry, who’s cooking dinner, who’s checking in.

Doulas support single parents and couples. We help people with supportive families and people with no family. Our patients are PhDs and people without diplomas. Birth doesn’t discriminate in its intensity, its unpredictability, or its vulnerability.

Different kinds of doulas

There are several types of doulas.

Fertility doulas help families on the journey to parenthood, while birth and postpartum doulas specialize in support during pregnancy, birth, and after delivery, including lactation. Abortion doulas provide support before and after pregnancy termination and after miscarriage.

Despite what TikTok or social media might suggest, most doulas aren’t anti-medicine, anti-hospital, or anti-intervention. Quite the contrary: We work alongside nurses, midwives, and physicians.

And we recognize that some birthing people require complex or high-intervention medical care. For instance, someone with a heart condition may require early epidural anesthesia to prevent further heart strain caused by an increase in heart rate. Furthermore, they may also require an assisted delivery with forceps or a vacuum for the same reason.

We support thoughtful, collaborative decision-making that allows them to feel both safe and autonomous throughout pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Still, many people carry trauma from previous birth experiences, especially in medical settings where they felt powerless or dismissed. Some communities are impacted by unsavory historical events, which have led to well-earned mistrust in the medical system.

Many doulas, too, carry similar burdens. Our profession is burdened by outdated stereotypes, and we know some doctors see us as combative, overly emotional, or unnecessary. We manage these challenges while supporting clients who are often dealing with their own layers of judgment and racial bias.

Offsetting this racial bias is especially critical in places like the Deep South, where I am in medical school. In states like Alabama, the maternal mortality rate is among the country’s highest. Black birthing people experience significantly worse maternal and infant outcomes than their white counterparts. This is true regardless of income or education; it reflects entrenched racism in the medical system, in access to care, and in how people are treated by providers.

Doulas make birth safer

Research from Evidence Based Birth, an organization working to help people make informed decisions about birth, shows that continuous labor support from doulas is associated with a 39 percent decrease in cesarean-section births, a 15 percent increase in spontaneous vaginal births, and a 10 percent decrease in the use of pain medication.

Having a doula present can also shorten labor by an average of 41 minutes and decrease birth dissatisfaction by 31 percent.

Culturally competent doula support, especially for Black and Hispanic and Latinx birthing people, can play a critical role in reducing disparities, such as pre-term and low-birth weight births, as well as maternal mortality. Yet doula care remains out of reach for many of the people who need it most. About half of states require Medicaid to cover doula care. Rhode Island and Louisiana are the only states that require both Medicaid and private insurance plans to cover doula services.

That’s why New York City in 2022 started the Citywide Doula Initiative (CDI), a pilot to provide free doula care in historically underserved communities, in an effort to increase doula access and utilization in neighborhoods, including the Bronx, the borough with the worst maternal mortality.

Initial results show CDI doulas attended 884 births in 2024, and doula support among NYC residents increased from 4.9 percent in 2022 to 6.1 percent in 2024. Of the people who reported having a doula in the Bronx, only 83 percent reported receiving that support during childbirth—which highlights the ongoing disparities the community faces.

We know doula care works. It may even save money and improve birth outcomes by reducing costly preterm and cesarean births.

We know that expecting parents deserve more than a hospital room and a rotating set of staff. We believe they deserve someone who learns your story, your fears, your values, and your joys. Birth should be safe, but it can be so much more than that. It needs to be supported, honored, and equitable.

That’s what doulas do.

The post What Is a Doula? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, Doula", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/The-Doula-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/09/what-is-a-doula/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-13 08:54:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141577", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Women and Children Are Being Digitally Undressed on Social Media", "title_slug": "women-and-children-are-being-digitally-undressed-on-social-media", "title_hash": "ebb6c15d45f79648e1e67b184d183091", "summary": "X users are asking the platform's AI chatbot, Grok, to create sexualized images before new legal protections take effect.\nThe post Women and Children Are Being Digitally Undressed on Social Media appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This story was originally reported by Mariel Padilla of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with The 19th News Network.

The social media platform X has been flooded with AI-generated sexualized images of women and children in recent weeks—months before a new law aiming to ban the spread of nonconsensual intimate imagery goes into effect.

Elon Musk, the owner of X, announced a new feature with a post on Christmas Eve encouraging users to try editing images and videos with Grok, the app’s chatbot. Then, a few weeks later, as the new year began, many women noticed something disturbing online: a flood of AI-generated sexualized images of them on the social media platform X. Users on X were able to ask Grok’s latest feature to digitally remove clothing from posted photos and recirculate them.

Grok won’t show people naked, but it follows directions to show women wearing strings and dental floss. Some X users asked Grok to manipulate photos with prompts like “put her into a very transparent mini-bikini,” “remove her school outfit,” and “spread her legs.”

Musk appeared to make light of the situation when he posted laughing emojis in response to AI edits of famous people, including himself, in bikinis. But Musk might have to take the problem more seriously soon—according to federal law.

In May 2025, President Donald Trump signed the bipartisan Take It Down Act, which criminalizes the distribution of nonconsensual intimate imagery, including AI-generated deepfakes and so-called “revenge porn.” Platforms have until May 2026 to implement a request-and-removal system where victims can have their pictures taken down within 48 hours.

On Saturday, Musk warned X users in a post: “Anyone using Grok to make illegal content will suffer the same consequences as if they upload illegal content.”

The question is: Which of these Grok-generated images are considered illegal?

The law defines “intimate visual depiction” as any that show uncovered genitals, pubic area, anus or women’s nipples.

Riana Pfefferkorn, a policy fellow at the Stanford Institute for Human-Centered AI, said she thinks many of these skimpy bikini photos could be considered illegal. She urged people to submit requests for removal because the law incentivizes media companies to take down questionable content to avoid penalties from the Federal Trade Commission.

Pfefferkorn said it might take more public pressure to end this latest Grok feature. If X was serious about not allowing nonconsensual imagery, Pfefferkorn said, the company would have taken the tool offline weeks ago.

“There was no reason why they couldn’t just disable that feature,” Pfefferkorn said. “Any time any other company has a feature that goes terribly, badly wrong, they can just stop it and then try and lick their wounds and figure out what happened. But Elon Musk is the richest man in the world, and he has acted repeatedly as though he is above the law and has gotten away with it.”

It’s not clear how many of these photos were circulated in what Reuters called a “mass digital undressing spree,” but the news outlet’s review of public requests sent to Grok found at least 102 attempts in a 10-minute period.

The flood of nearly nude images—predominantly of young women and in some cases children – sparked international fury: Ministers in France have reported X to regulators; the United Kingdom’s communication regulator reached out to the media company; and India’s Ministry of Electronics and Information Technology wrote a condemning letter.

In allowing these images, X is breaking with AI competitors like OpenAI and Google, which have stricter rules about what their AI chatbots will generate.

$\"\"$

The post Women and Children Are Being Digitally Undressed on Social Media appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Women, and, Children, Are, Being, Digitally, Undressed, Social, Media", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/pixel.19thnews.org/2026/01/women-children-digitally-undressed-grok-ai?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2026/01/13/women-and-children-are-being-digitally-undressed-on-social-media/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-13 08:54:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141120", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Attraction Preservation: Extending Attraction's Expiration Date", "title_slug": "attraction-preservation-extending-attractions-expiration-date", "title_hash": "6ba04e5bdadc16b0284c46e0bd041704", "summary": "Wait too long to make a move on a girl, and attraction expires. But what if you want to preserve a woman’s attraction without making a move? Here’s how.\nEvery regular Girls Chase reader knows attraction has an expiration date.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"attraction$ Wait too long to make a move on a girl, and attraction expires. But what if you want to preserve a woman’s attraction without making a move? Here’s how.

Every regular Girls Chase reader knows attraction has an expiration date.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Attraction, Preservation:, Extending, Attractions, Expiration, Date", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/attraction-preservation-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/attraction-preservation-extending-attractions-expiration-date", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-13 08:30:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141118", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Little Habits That Instantly Make You More Dateable", "title_slug": "little-habits-that-instantly-make-you-more-dateable", "title_hash": "35734fca8946ee961bcb2351177036c1", "summary": "7 Things Every Guy Could Start Doing Now to Help Him Have More Dating Success", "content": "You exchanged a few playful messages. You went on a great first date… or so you thought. What started off as a promising connection suddenly turns into nothing. You never hear back from them. \nIf this scenario happens to you on a regular basis, you may start getting discouraged or think that it’s because of factors like your looks or height. But it’s often little habits that impact how you’re perceived by dates. \n“I wish men understood that there is so much they can do to influence their dateability in terms of how they show up,” says psychotherapist Madeleine Phelan. “So many of my male clients beat themselves up over things they cannot control or change, like their height or appearance, instead of focusing on things they can influence.”\nColette Jane Fehr, LMFT and author of the book The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love, adds that your habits signal emotional stability and respect: “If they’re not consistent, or worse, don’t portray you in the best way possible, a relationship isn’t going to go very far – even if there is that initial chemistry.” \nRELATED: Understanding the Difference Between Attraction and Compatibility\nSo, what should you focus on to maximize your dateability? From how you treat the waiter to how you carry yourself in conversations, here are seven little habits that make you instantly more dateable, according to dating and relationship experts. \n1. Being Consistent \nChemistry might be important, but many daters won’t settle for sparks without consistency. What does being consistent mean in practice and what kind of habits can you embrace? \nSimply put, it’s when your words and actions align and you do the things you say you will, says Phelan, who adds that tangible ways to show consistency while dating include checking in regularly, calling or texting when you say you will, and following up within 24 hours to plan the next date. \n2. Caring About Your Appearance \n \nResearch shows that people form snap judgements just by looking at your face — and this happens as quickly as within the first 39 milliseconds of an interaction. \nSimple habits like showering, brushing your teeth, combing your hair and grooming your facial hair can make or break that very first impression, even if it’s unconscious. So, don’t skip those rituals before a date. \n3. Treating Others Kindly \nYou’re probably not trying to be rude, but some moments can send the wrong message and lower your dateability. \nRELATED: What Women Notice on a First Date\nMaybe you’re short with the waiter because you’re nervous and trying to focus on your date, or you start venting about a coworker and sounding mean without realizing it. Dates take note of the way you treat others, and kindness is always attractive, regardless of who you’re speaking to or about. \n4. Having Good Manners \nGood manners aren’t old-fashioned. According to a survey commissioned by the Marriage Foundation, almost 60% of women aged 18-35 rate bad manners as a red flag.\n“Basic manners go a long way,” says Fehr. “When you say please and thank you, ask how someone is doing, hold the door for others or wait to eat your meal until everyone at the table receives their food, it says a lot about you and makes you more dateable.”\nRELATED: Red Flags in a Relationship \n5. Talking About Feelings \nWhile habits like good hygiene are more surface-level, matches and dates also pay attention to the way you deal (or don’t deal) with the realm of deeper emotions. As Fehr puts it, a man is more dateable when he can talk about his feelings. \nHabits like being vulnerable, staying open when conversations get emotional and carrying yourself with maturity will generally be treated as green flags. If you struggle talking about feelings, even sharing that fact is better than shutting down or changing the subject when a conversation gets more intimate. \n6. Asking Thoughtful Questions\nEric Resnick, online dating coach and founder of ProfileHelper, says that many straight women complain about men not truly listening to them. \n“If you’re someone who can't focus and contribute to a conversation, it makes women feel like you are really only there for what you might get at the end of the date. It's a habit that gives off an extremely unlikable vibe,” says Resnick. \nRELATED: How Asking Questions & Listening Make You Way Sexier \nGet into the habit of asking follow-up questions and being genuinely interested in the answer — it’ll go a long way to increase your dateability. \n7. Not Trying Too Hard \nCaring about making a good impression is human. It means you’re actually invested in the outcome of a conversation or a date, and that’s a good thing. But trying too hard to look cool can backfire and come across as performative.\nRELATED: Dating Mistakes That Make Men Seem 'Thirsty'\n“Women can smell it a mile away, and it smells like desperation and false bravado. Be yourself. Smile. Don't worry about trying to impress her,” adds Resnick. \nThe best part? None of these habits are about changing who you are. They’re tweaks that can make a big difference in the momentum you build while dating — all while staying true to yourself. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nThe Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love This YearNon-Sexual Things That Women Find Wildly Erotic", "keywords": "Little, Habits, That, Instantly, Make, You, More, Dateable", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "39", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/little-habits-than-instantly-make-you-more-dateable/askmen-lead-image-2x1-80-1767993467.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/little-habits-that-instantly-make-you-more-dateable.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-13 08:30:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141119", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Workouts for Mental Health", "title_slug": "best-workouts-for-mental-health", "title_hash": "62f20e76b7485f4b2da3598bde815a47", "summary": "How Your Training Can Help You Beat Depression, Anxiety & Stress", "content": "Everybody knows the physical benefits of regular exercise. It can help you gain strength, keep off excess weight, improve stamina, and keep your heart and lungs in top shape, but what about the mental benefits? It turns out there are plenty of those, too.\nRELATED: How to Meditate\nOne study, published in The Lancet Psychiatry Journal, looking at 1.2 million people in the U.S., found that people who exercise report having 1.5 fewer days of poor mental health a month, compared to people who do not exercise. Max Castrogaleas MA, CSCS,*D, TSAC-F,*D, EP-C, FRCMS, an exercise physiologist at HSS, too, says “exercise is an important contributor to mental health.” \n“Research shows that regular participation in exercise and physical activity can help reduce the risk of developing mood and anxiety disorders. In addition, individuals who report higher levels of physical activity have a lower risk of experiencing depression or anxiety,” he adds.\nBut are all forms of exercise and fitness equal when it comes to benefiting your mental health? To get the answer we checked in with a few of our favorite fitness pros.\n\nMental Health Benefits of Working Out\n\nBoosts your mood: When you move your body you release endorphins – the positive chemicals in your brain that boost your mood and help you feel relaxed. “Endorphins are chemicals released by the body that provide a sense of euphoria, boost confidence, combat stress, and depression,\" says Keith Hodges, certified personal trainer, performance coach, and founder of Mind In Muscle Coaching. \"These positive side effects are spawned after the endorphins interact with the receptors in the brain, providing an increased sense of well-being.” \nWhile it’s certainly not the case for all people, studies have found that exercise can be as effective as antidepressants in reducing symptoms of depression.\nImprove cognitive function: Working out can also help your mind stay sharp and clear. Hodges notes that consistent exercise has been proven to decrease the risk of dementia and studies have confirmed this as well. “Consistent exercise also helps with our cognitive function, which is important as the front part of our brains, associated with executive function, begins to atrophy after the age of 21,” adds Manoj Dias, VP of Mindfulness + Co-founder at Open. “Combined with a mindfulness practice, you can care for your brain and ensure it’s healthy well into old age.”\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out?\n\nWhat Workouts Are Good for Mental Health?\n\nAnything you enjoy is a good option: Fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it – there isn’t one specific activity that is deemed the best workout for mental health. This really varies from person to person and depends on your day-to-day preferences and needs as well. “I recommend choosing in the form of exercise or a hobby that you enjoy the most,” says Hodges. “Something as simple as going for a 10-minute walk as an outlet goes a long way. If you enjoy boxing or MMA, try hitting the heavy bag or take a self-defense class as a stress reliever. If you enjoy basketball, go shoot some hoops. The key is to find a physical activity that brings you the most satisfaction.”\nSwitch things up: You don’t need to stick to one activity exclusively – in terms of fitness goals, it’s best if you switch things up. You want to make sure you have options, so you don’t end up skipping the workout or activity altogether. “Try to think of multiple exercises or physical activities that you enjoy, this way you always have a backup plan,” says Castrogaleas.\nGet those minutes in: If you’re new to the workout world and trying to get a sense of what you like, Castrogaleas suggests you “start by engaging in various forms of exercise or physical activities that can help you meet the physical activity guidelines of [minimum] 150 minutes of moderate or 75 minutes vigorous-intensity aerobic activity per week.” He recommends aiming for two to three days of resistance training and leaving the other two to three days flexible. \nTry social settings and getting outside: Whatever you decide to do for a workout, keep your setting and surroundings in mind, too. The Lancet Psychiatry Journal study, mentioned above, also found that those who participated in team sports, cycling, aerobics, and going to the gym were associated with the biggest reductions in poor mental health days. Multiple studies have found ties between improved mental health and working out in a social setting or as a team. And researchers have found mental health improves when people tackle their workouts in the great outdoors as well. \nRELATED: Underrated Benefits of Yoga for Men\n\nGood Workouts to Start With\n\nOf course, the workout that best benefits your mental health will be unique to your interests and needs. However, when it comes to relaxing and reducing anxiety and stress, there are a couple of workouts that remain popular picks among the masses.\nYoga: “Yoga is a great exercise that allows the individual to connect the mind and the body throughout various poses that are performed with controlled movement and breathing,” says Castrogaleas. \nRunning: “Running helps release ‘feel good’ hormones resulting in a runner’s high. When the run is completed you feel like so much weight has been lifted off your shoulders and there is a decreased level of stress,” he adds.\nDias notes that at his training center Open, you can experience the perfect blend of mindfulness and aerobics. “Some of our most popular classes are our signature Open experiences which combine the best of yoga, Pilates, cardio, and mindfulness. I would recommend these practices to anyone hoping to start centering self-care and mindfulness rituals,” he says.\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\t9 Ways to Stress-Proof Your Brain\n\tHow the Fittest Men Set Health & Fitness Goals\n\tBest Workout Tactics for Productivity", "keywords": "Best, Workouts, for, Mental, Health", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-workouts-for-mental-health/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1768233001.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-workouts-for-mental-health.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-13 08:30:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "141117", "lang_id": "1", "title": "High-Protein Food Swaps", "title_slug": "high-protein-food-swaps", "title_hash": "849d23e8131b92853b88b707660cf3b4", "summary": "10 Macro-Friendly Food Substitutes to Help Make Dieting a Breeze", "content": "Here’s a common hurdle to achieving weight loss success. You’re full of motivation and eager to make some drastic life changes, including eating healthier foods, eating fewer unhealthy foods, and hitting the gym. The first week or two go great, just smooth sailing the whole way through, but right around the third week, diet fatigue strikes. Those chicken-and-broccoli dinners no longer seem so appetizing, and you start to miss some of your favorite foods that, in your haste to drop weight, you cut out entirely.\nThis initial misgiving isn’t going to go away. The longer you withhold, the harder you try to resist, the stronger the cravings get. Some people can go two or three months like this, willing their way to weight loss, but many people (probably most people) are liable to crack.\n \nRELATED: How to Add More Protein to Your Diet\nThankfully, there’s a better way. You don’t need to exclusively eat steamed vegetables and lean meats to lose weight. In fact, you can even find ways to incorporate some of your favorite foods in a diet and still lose weight or build muscle. The trick is to find healthier alternatives, or what we like to call “high-protein swaps,” that will help satisfy your cravings while still fitting into your dietary plans.\nTo help you out, we’ve picked out some easy, diet-friendly substitutes for common food staples that will make your weightloss journey far less painful.\n\nHigh-Protein Breakfast Swaps\n\nBreakfast may or may not be the day’s most important meal, but it definitely does set the tone, so ditch the sugar-loaded cereals or faux-healthy granola bars and grab one of these high-protein breakfast alternatives instead.\nGHOST PROTEIN CEREAL\n\nGHOST has been on a hot streak basically since their inception, and their latest foray into the world of cereals — no doubt building off the success of their cereal milk protein powders — is no exception. Their PROTEIN CEREAL is currently available in two flavors, peanut butter and marshmallow, and trust us when we say the flavor of both is perfect. Your taste buds won’t believe the macros (the PB flavor, for example, packs 18 grams of protein and just 6 grams of sugar in a serving), and with the right low-cal, high-protein milk, you can enjoy a healthy, delicious breakfast cereal without sacrificing your fitness goals.\n$9.99 at GhostLifestyle.com \nKodiak Oatmeal Power Cups\n\nEasy and fast to prepare, delicious and packed with both protein and fiber, these Power Cups from Kodiak are a breakfast no-brainer for anyone in a morning rush who still wants to chase their macro goals. Best of all, they come in a wide variety of delicious flavors, so it’s easy to mix it up throughout the week.\n$23.88 for 12 at Amazon.com \nDave's Killer Bread Epic Everything Organic Bagels\n\nWant to make gains but unwilling to sacrifice your morning bagel? We feel you. Pick up these Epic Everything Bagels from Dave’s Killer Bread and you’ll never look back. Boasting 13 grams of protein per bagel, and just 260 calories, it’s easy to fit these into your morning macros, especially if you load them up with meat or a fried egg. These even contain some added iron and omega-3s, not to mention five grams of fiber.\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \nBirch Benders Protein Pancake and Waffle Mix\n\nPancakes aren’t exactly the typical healthy breakfast meal, but they’re so iconic and so delicious that they’re tough to give up, especially on Sunday mornings. Thankfully, Birch Benders have served up a high-protein pancake and waffle mix that tastes almost indistinguishable from the source material, while still managing to offer 10 grams of protein and just 130 calories per serving.\n$12.99 at Amazon.com \n\nHigh-Protein Food Swaps\n\nSometimes, transforming a delicious and high-calorie, low-protein meal into a delicious, low-calorie, high-protein meal can be as simple as swapping a single ingredient or recipe component. Here are some of our favorite high-protein food swaps to make preparing a healthy, macro-friendly meal easier than ever before.\nEQUII Complete Protein Bread\n\nLots of online dieting gurus want you to give up bread, but the truth is, you just need to be smart about the bread you eat. Ditch the high-sugar white breads and opt for something like EQUII’s Complete Protein Bread, especially its multigrain offering. Each slice contains 8 grams of protein and 4 grams of fiber, while clocking in at just 120 calories, and because bread is easy to freeze, you can keep these on hand for long periods of time. \nFrom $7.99 at EQUII.com \nBFree High Protein Carb Savvy Tortillas\n\nSubstituting a wrap or flatbread for regular bread in a sandwich is already a low-calorie hack, but BFree's High Protein Carb Savvy Tortilla salso make it a high-protein hack as well. Each flatbread contains 11 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber and just 100 calories, which allows you to have a low-calorie wrap or use those saved calories to add a bit more flavor via mayonnaise or BBQ sauce — a win either way, if you ask us! \n$22.98 for 3 at Amazon.com \nGOODLES Cheddy Mac\n\nWhat if you could take a classic comfort food and make it healthy? That was the approach GOODLES took with their Cheddy Mac macaroni and cheese, and the result is both creamy and delicious, with a generous 14 grams of protein and 7 grams of fiber per serving. And, despite the fact that they use real cheese, Cheddy Mac is low on the glycemic index, helping to stabilize your blood sugar levels.\n$25.32 for 6 at Goodles.com \nBanza Chickpea Pasta\n\nTraditional pasta isn’t unhealthy per se, but it can be deceptively high in calories and most likely low in protein. Thankfully, there are workarounds, like Banza’s Chickpea Pasta. A single serving offers 11 grams of protein and just 190 calories, while both the taste and texture of the chickpea-based pasta are on point. We’re especially big fans of the shell design, as it allows each individual piece of pasta to hold sauce well.\n$23.08 at Amazon.com \n\nHigh-Protein Snack Swaps\n\nMany people have no trouble eating clean for three meals throughout the day, but they get into trouble between meals, or late at night, when those hunger pangs haven’t fully subsided. Thankfully, there’s a way you can indulge your cravings without sabotaging your diet thanks to these high-protein snack swaps.\nQuest Protein Chips\n\nChips are incredibly tough to give up. First, they’re convenient and fun to eat, and second, they’re the perfect TV/movie-watching snack. Thanks to Quest, though, you can now indulge guilt-free in some chip munching, as their Protein Chips are both lower in calories and higher in protein than typical chips. Take this Chili Lime variety, for example: not only does it taste great, but each bag contains a whopping 20 grams of protein and just 140 calories, which is pretty much like eating a protein shake in chip form. \n$29.99 for 12 at Amazon.com \nQuest Peanut Butter Cups\n\nChocolate and peanut butter are a match made in heaven, so it stands to reason that any diet or nutrition plan that forbids this combo is doomed to fail. Thankfully, Quest struck gold again with their high-protein Peanut Butter Cups. One packet of two cups serves up just 200 calories and 11 grams of protein, so you can get your delicious PB-and-chocolate fix guilt-free.\n$29.99 for 12 at Amazon.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\nBest Protein PowdersHow Upping Your Protein Intake Can Speed Up Fat LossBest Energy and Protein Bars", "keywords": "High-Protein, Food, Swaps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/high-protein-food-swaps/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1768251732.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/high-protein-food-swaps.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-13 08:30:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "140436", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Our Marriage Died the Day I Found a Positive Pregnancy Kit in Her Bag", "title_slug": "our-marriage-died-the-day-i-found-a-positive-pregnancy-kit-in-her-bag", "title_hash": "a165b94720c13b05f1bbd5f9b1114a07", "summary": "My son was six years old when I married my wife. My wife also had a daughter. Her daughter was seven years old when we got married. Our dreams were …", "content": "

My son was six years old when I married my wife. My wife also had a daughter. Her daughter was seven years old when we got married. Our dreams were the same. She was looking for a responsible man who would love her and also love her daughter. I was looking for a woman with a mother’s heart to love me and my son, because I knew that at some point, I would bring my son to live with whoever I married.

The father of my wife’s daughter is abroad. According to her, once she got pregnant, the man asked her to abort the baby so the child would not become a distraction to his dream of traveling abroad. She refused, and because of that, the man left her. She was eight months pregnant when the man traveled abroad.

The woman I had a baby with actually didn’t want me or my baby. I later came to learn that she was waiting for another man to marry her. When she got pregnant, she didn’t tell me. She wanted to secretly get rid of it, but it didn’t work. In the process, she nearly died. She took medicine, and the medicine knocked her down instead of the baby. That was when I found out she was pregnant. Right there in the hospital, I knew our relationship had come to an end.

The two of us came into this marriage bruised from our pasts and were looking for comfort and safety in love. I loved her genuinely, and the love from her was also genuine. We wanted to get pregnant immediately after marriage so we could have our own child to cement the marriage.

We worked hard after our wedding—day, night, and dawn. We were always awake, trying our best to get a child as soon as possible. One year passed silently without a pregnancy. Then another year, and then another. One day, we woke up and realized it had been five years without a child. Within these years, it had always been about my wife’s daughter. I loved her so much that I took her to places. I bought her new things every week. I helped with her homework and taught her a thing or two about life. I was always by her side while I struggled to bring my son into our house.

Her mother said she wouldn’t agree for me to take my son, even though she didn’t have the time to take care of him. My wife did very well. We went to my baby mama together. She spoke to her woman to woman, promising that she would be a better mother to the boy. My ex didn’t agree.

The first fight between me and my wife happened when I realized she had started talking to her daughter’s father. I saw a foreign call on her phone, and she told me it was him. I asked myself, “Oh, since when—without my knowledge?”

That day, I checked her phone and saw that they had been chatting for over a year. According to the chats, the man’s family had met her family and brought drinks to apologize so they could accept the child. The man abroad had been sending her money every month for the upkeep of the child.

Meanwhile, I was the one paying for everything concerning the girl’s life. I showed the messages to her. She said she didn’t know how to tell me because she didn’t want to hurt me, knowing how much I loved the girl. I was still angry. “You’ve been taking money from him all this while and I didn’t know? What have you been using the money for?” She answered, “I’m saving it for the child’s future. I know one day he will stop sending us money.”

This issue weighed so heavily on my heart that I called her parents and questioned them about why none of them had officially told me. They said they thought I knew about it. I asked, “How would I know when no one talks to me about these things?”

That suspicion took away the trust I had for her, so I started monitoring her ways. When I suggested we seek the help of a doctor to get pregnant, she told me, “You have one and I have one too. What could be wrong with us? It’s God who gives. Let’s wait for the appointed time.”

We talked about it. We fought about it. I knew we needed help, or at least we needed to see a doctor. She always resisted until one day she grudgingly agreed for us to go. The tests showed that we were fine and at our fertile best. The doctor was surprised that we were struggling. He asked if we lived together, and we said yes. He asked how many times we had sex in a week. When we told him, he said, “That should be enough.”

One day, I decided to go into her bag. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I felt I had to look for something. I found a pregnancy test kit wrapped in paper. I opened it, and it had been used. Two red stripes were clearly showing. I asked myself, “Oh, she’s pregnant and not telling me? Is she trying to surprise me?”

I folded it carefully and placed it back in the bag exactly the way I had found it. Happiness filled my heart, but I had to act normal so she wouldn’t get a hint that I knew the secret she was hiding from me.

A week passed. Then another. She didn’t say anything. So I asked her calmly, with all the love in my heart, “So when are you going to tell me that we are pregnant?” She responded sharply, “You and who? Who is pregnant for who?” I confessed, “I saw it in your bag. The evidence was very clear. Why are you not telling me?”

She acted confused, so I told her I had found the kit in her bag. She asked, “A kit in whose bag? And the kit told you I was pregnant?” At that point, my joy turned into anger. I took her bag and searched through every corner, but there was no kit. I swore I had seen it. She swore she had never had anything like that. I screamed, “You’re pregnant.” She retorted, “I’m not pregnant.” I said, “Let’s go to the hospital to check.”

I regret wasting time when I first saw it. I don’t know how long she had kept it in her bag, but if I had acted swiftly, maybe I would have seen some signs. We went to the hospital, and the result was negative. To date, my wife still denies that she ever had a used pregnancy test kit in her bag. The way she makes me feel like a fool is what hurts me the most.

I have conspiracy theories. I believe she got pregnant and secretly got rid of it. If she did that, then it means she’s responsible for our inability to get pregnant. But why? That’s where the biggest conspiracy theory comes in. Maybe she’s preventing pregnancy, hoping her man abroad will return one day and marry her.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

We are medically fine, so why are we struggling to have a child? Or does she not want us to have a child, thinking our child would compete for affection with her daughter? Things don’t add up, and currently, I am a wrecked man. I told her, “If this year ends without a pregnancy, our marriage is over.”

Truth be told, this marriage is spiritually over. There is no happiness here, and it is affecting everything. Even her daughter now annoys me. Maybe we won’t last a year. It is too toxic here for anything to grow—especially a marriage.

—Obed

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*****

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I married a man whose first wife died in a car accident. They had a daughter who was ten years old when we got married. I knew his story and knew how much he loved his wife, but I didn’t think that was how marriage was going to be with him.

After his wife died, he left the house they were living in and rented a new place. He said he was running away from the memories and also running from everything they shared in that house, but he carried every photo they had together—from their framed wedding photos to the ones they took on their phones.

He has these photos on the walls of the house, on his phone, and in his wallet. When I moved in, I suggested he remove those pictures from the wall so we could create memories of our own. We had a traditional wedding and took beautiful photos too. I framed them and, while placing them on the wall, asked him to remove the old ones. He asked, “What’s wrong if they both stay on the wall?” I answered, “It’s our home now. We should make it wholly ours.”

He took it the wrong way and sulked all day because of that. I explained myself, telling him I didn’t say it with bad intentions. I told him it was okay if he wanted to have them there and that I was not going to talk about them again. We’ve been married for two years now, and those photos are still on the wall. Some mornings, you see him standing under one of the photos, looking at it with fixed, focused eyes.

It hurts me so much how he hasn’t moved on but pretends he has. Our marriage is living in the shadows of his previous marriage. He sees everything through the eyes of his dead wife. If I cook something I think he would love, he would say, “Alice made this dish some time ago, and it was divine. Thank you for making it too.” If I wear a dress I think is beautiful, he looks at me and tells me how I remind him of his wife and the day she wore something similar.

So I asked him, “Is it always going to be like this? You won’t compliment me unless I look like your ex-wife? When will this come to an end?” He apologized and told me he didn’t know he was doing that. That apology wasn’t even genuine because afterward, my husband coiled into himself and didn’t talk to me for days. I take such attitude with grace and pray that it will soon end, but it keeps getting worse.

When it comes to his daughter, it’s a nightmare. The girl resembles her father more than her mother, but for sentimental reasons, my husband sees his wife in her more than he sees himself. I like the girl genuinely. Right from the onset, I decided to be a mother to her. I didn’t set out to replace her mom but rather to provide a breast she could suck from.

It was all going well, and with the way I brought this girl close to me, if her father didn’t constantly remind her of her mom, she would have moved on by now. He keeps talking to her about her mother in heaven and how she loves her so much. Every night before the girl goes to sleep, he reminds her to “pray for your mother in heaven. Ask her to look over you.”

He tells me he has moved on, but clearly he hasn’t—and he also won’t allow others to move on. He constantly rants about how his daughter looks like his wife and will grow up to be exceptional like her mom. Here, I don’t have any right to reprimand the girl. If I do it softly, he has problems. If I talk loudly to correct her, he tells me, “Be careful you don’t break her. She’s fragile because of her mom’s death. Handle her the way her mom would have.”

I don’t even know her mom to know how she would have handled her. I want to handle her my way—softly, gently, and sometimes, when she goes overboard, I also go overboard with the correction. A girl needs to be laced with morals early before it’s too late, but my husband is in the way, dictating how she should breathe and fart just the way her mom would have done.

December 19th is the birthday of his dead wife. I woke up and saw him under the photos, wishing her a happy birthday in heaven. I walked past him to the kitchen without saying a word. A few minutes later, he went for his daughter, and they both came under the photo, instructing his daughter to “wish mommy happy birthday in heaven.”

I had tolerated that for so long, and that day I decided to act. I withdrew into myself and went cold. All day, I didn’t talk to him the way I used to. I cooked, served, and walked away. I avoided him like the plague. When he was in the hall, I was in the bedroom. He noticed and started asking questions. I ignored him. I carried malice for days, thinking about how to stop all that nonsense.

I took all the photos from the wall, placed them in a box, and pushed them under the bed. When he entered the house, that was the first thing he noticed. Minutes later, the photos were back on the wall. I told him, “Continue marrying her. I’m going where I’m also loved.”

I left the house and went to my parents. I told them what was going on. They said I was overreacting. I told them they’re not close to the fire, so they wouldn’t know how it burns. I had two things in mind: divorce or making him change everything before I returned to the house. Divorce sounded easier, but I wasn’t scared anymore. When he came here, I told him my options. My parents and his parents were present when I said it. He promised to make those changes.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I haven’t returned yet. He tells me the photos are gone. I asked, “How about the ones on your phone?” He asked, “Are those part of the problem?”

That question is the reason I haven’t gone back. Everyone thinks I’m being too hard on him. I think I’m the one he’s being hard on—emotionally and physically. I’m determined not to go back until I feel safe in my own skin that it’s time to go.

Am I being too hard on him?

—Regina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I read a story on your page about a man who begs his wife and pays before he gets intimacy. It is something that happens in some marriages, and I was once in such a marriage.

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She was a virgin when I met her. When we dated, we had no intimacy. It was one of my promises to her that I was not going to touch her. After all, it was going to be mine to enjoy, so there was no need to rush. We had a wedding; it was joyful. I was happy; she was happy. Then night came and everyone left us, and we also packed our bags for our honeymoon. The day I had been joyfully waiting for, so to say.

On the honeymoon, no action took place. I didn’t see the heaven gate. It was just having fun and sleeping and looking at each other with love and grace. And when we returned home, I still didn’t see the promised land until four months later. Four good months later before I could break her. I was experiencing what they call ‘what I ordered versus what I got,’ because when she promised a fun life filled with intimacy, this is not what I was expecting.

See, I am not an intimacy addict. But you should see her. My ex has a very seductive body and shape, small waist with big round nyash and portable standing breasts. I am a man, I couldn’t stand seeing her every day without wanting some. Sometimes, I had to beg her for weeks before she would allow me to touch her, and that one had to be fast fast, finished before she blinked. Otherwise, it was either that she was tired from work or not in the mood.

I was not happy with how our marital bed was going. I was tired, drained. So I told her elder sister’s husband, who is a pastor, to talk to her. I also spoke to her about my displeasure with how she acted and reacted when I wanted us to have intimacy. The response she gave me is that she doesn’t feel like having it, and she sometimes gets scared, but if I feel I cannot control myself, she gave me the go-ahead. I could get a side chick, and that was my own cup of tea.

In the sixth year of our marriage, we visited a gynecologist because at that time we still had no child. The gynecologist encouraged her to have more intimacy with me if she wanted a child, especially on her ovulation date, continually, and we could hope to conceive soon. That day, I left the office a happy man. I rejoiced that day and thanked the doctor.

After that, we tried but lost it, and I lost my wife too. She didn’t die. She just returned to her shell again, quiet, moving around the house like a ghost who was mourning. I did all the house chores and provided for the family. I provided for her, watching her like a hawk so that she didn’t try anything crazy. I respected her, and you would always see us together. So many people were jealous of our marriage and wished to have one like ours, but they never knew how unpleasant it was inside.

I was thinking one day when I remembered that my wife gave me permission to cheat. In her words, “it is your own cup of tea.” So I went in for one. I didn’t just go for just any. I wanted a mistress who understood me and knew what I wanted, and in return I took care of her as well. I was intentional when it came to me cheating. I made sure she saw the trails I left behind. The kiss on the collar of my shirt, the condoms, the messages, and how I saved her name. When I received a call at midnight, it was not Kweku the repairman that was calling. She knew who it was.

I think she was tired of it, so one day she decided to confront me about it. She cried about it and told me I was hurting her and I was breaking her heart. But she too was breaking my heart and starving me. Life isn’t all about sex, but come on, she was starving me. Her denial of intimacy was too much, and she promised to change.

While she was on her ‘new me’ resolutions, I was also on my mistress. I rented an apartment and furnished it for my mistress and gave her money to do a business. Then I told her I wanted my marriage to work, so I would have to leave. It was my parting gift to her.

Amazingly, my wife changed. She was initiating intimacy, and for the first time in eight years of marriage, my wife started to change positions for me. All glory to God. I would wake up a happy man and go to work with a smile. Everything was fine in my marriage for the first time in eight years. Then she fell pregnant, and we had a beautiful baby. Our intimacy life was getting better, plus a baby—what more could I ask for?

When the baby was about nine months old, my wife requested a divorce. I laughed at it. She was joking, of course. What is wrong with her? We were finally in a good place; what did she mean by divorce? I hoped that she was joking, but she was not. When my daughter turned one year old, she left and packed her goods to her mum’s house with my child, and her family brought my drink with the Bible and ring back to me. It was then I knew that she was, in fact, not joking with me.

My ex-wife got married to her job. Maybe she heard one of those women say that your job is more important than staying with a man. I still don’t know what happened to her, truly. She was always busy at work and never had time to cater to me and to our child.

Right now, as I am saying this, our child is staying with her aunty, my wife’s sister, because of my wife’s unavailability. And I have told them I will come for my child when she turns eight. She is seven now, and I am always in her life. I make sure of that.

So you see, some women don’t like intimacy but choose to marry anyway. My ex-wife never cheated on me, but in a way, she left me long before she actually did.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I learnt she is now dating someone and will get married soon. When I heard, I sent her a text. I told her to perform her wifely duties this time around. I said it just like that. Maybe it was harsh, but it’s how I feel. She has a second chance now, and I hope she gets it right.

-Elolo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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$\"be$ You need to do more than just approach girls to seduce them. You need to be able to come in with INTENT – not social intent, but the SEXUAL type.

I’ve been in the game for a few years now. I’ve seen wasted approaches. I think a couple of factors are in play: you’ve approached too much recently (tired), you're not familiar with the venue or area, or you're not able to communicate too well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Dont, Social, with, Girls, You, Want, SEXUAL", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/approach-show-intent-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/dont-be-social-girls-you-want-be-sexual", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 11:04:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139834", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Married Men and the Audacity I Will Never Understand", "title_slug": "married-men-and-the-audacity-i-will-never-understand", "title_hash": "23f2722a243081dc9cd71867e19a2e99", "summary": "What is it about married men and their audacity that I just cannot understand? It all started like this. I was a cleaner at a company for three months. When …", "content": "

What is it about married men and their audacity that I just cannot understand?

It all started like this. I was a cleaner at a company for three months. When my contract ended, I had to leave and look for other jobs. It is hard, you know, to start all over again. One day, as I was looking, I just passed by the place I used to work. Just for old times’ sake, I went in.

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There was a man in that same company who was surprised to see me. He asked why it had been so long since he last saw me. I smiled and told him I was done with my contract, so I had to look for something else. I went around saying hello to the workers there, to those who liked me and even to those who never liked to see me coming with my mop. When I was done and walking out, he asked for my contact. I did not hesitate to give it to him. Maybe, I thought, he could help me get another contract or some work somewhere.

He tried to beep me so I could save his number, but the beep did not go through. So I was unable to get his contact.

Now, in that same place where I used to work, there is a driver for the company. He is my best friend. We are very good friends. It is a bit confusing, but let me explain. The man who asked about me in the office later asked my driver friend if he knew anyone who was looking for a job. He said he could recommend someone. And my friend recommended me.

I mean, God really works in mysterious ways. Can you imagine? He wasn’t able to get my contact himself, and then, boom, he got it through my friend. It felt like it was meant to be, like it was God’s plan for us to meet again.”

So the driver gave him my name and gave me his number so we could talk about the way forward. Up to now, it still surprises me. We all have friends in our inboxes looking for jobs, but the driver thought of me first. I suppose you never know. Anyway, it felt like fate.

So we started chatting, and then we started dating. That was around February. Up until December, everything was okay. I knew my place. I was the side, and I accepted that. I knew when to call and when not to. It worked. But then December came, when almost everyone was going home, and families and friends were making plans for reunions. That is when things changed.

My boyfriend travelled to Kenya without letting me know. That is what hurt me—just because he did not bother to tell me. That is when it became clear: his family comes first. He is married, after all. And this is a man who takes all his salary home to his family.

I am not money-oriented, but what I know is that men at least leave something for their girlfriends during the Christmas season. I was hurt that he travelled without a word. It meant I was nothing to him in all those months we spent together. I had to find out from the driver.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Dear brothers and sisters, He is coming back this January to South Sudan from Kenya. I am afraid I won’t be able to love him like I used to because of this disappointment. I feel like I was just a small part of a life he never really shared with me.

—Katie

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", "keywords": "Married, Men, and, the, Audacity, Will, Never, Understand", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/424583.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/married-men-and-the-audacity-i-will-never-understand/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 10:49:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139833", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Man From the UK May Have Just Scammed My Work Colleague", "title_slug": "a-man-from-the-uk-may-have-just-scammed-my-work-colleague", "title_hash": "bfcf36fee065dc87cff5ceca686aa129", "summary": "I think my friend, my colleague, may have just been defrauded. Or jazzed, whichever word you prefer. Let me tell you what happened. So there is this work colleague of …", "content": "

I think my friend, my colleague, may have just been defrauded. Or jazzed, whichever word you prefer. Let me tell you what happened.

So there is this work colleague of mine. Just this past Wednesday, I was in a meeting with her when she got a call and stepped out. When she came back after some minutes, she asked me if I had any cash in my bank account or mobile money that I could lend her for something urgent. Unfortunately, I did not have any at that moment.

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Then she told me about her friend. She said he had just returned from the UK and went to clear some goods of his from the Takoradi port. On his way back, he was stopped by some policemen because, according to him, he was using a foreign license to drive in the country. Before they would let him go, you know how it is, you have to appease them. The police were demanding 3,400 cedis from him.

The guy told my colleague that the money he had on him was in pounds, and it had not been changed into cedis, so he could not pay them and needed help. I was thinking, ah, how? Because I know most people change their currency immediately when they land at the airport. So how come he is telling her this? Well.

She was in a rush to send the money to the man. She was restless, as if her life depended on it. That was on Wednesday. I did not hear anything more about it until the next day.

I woke up on Thursday morning, and she told me she had sent the money to the guy on Wednesday, but he had not been picking up her calls. The guy finally called her back around 9am and told her he had gone to lodge at a hotel, and his phones were seized because he had no money to settle the hotel bill. The money he had was in pounds.

On that same Thursday, he called her again. He said he was coming from Obuasi and his car had developed a fault, so he was stuck on the road and needed some money to move the car. He told her he had consulted a mechanic, but the car was in the middle of the road and was also short of fuel, so he needed to top up before it could be moved. The supposed car is a Range Rover. He then said the fault would cost about 2,000 cedis, plus workmanship, totalling about 2,200 cedis. She sent the money to him again.

Yesterday, around 2pm, the lady called me and said the guy was at the bank, trying to withdraw some money from his ABSA foreign bank account, but the bank told him he would be charged 6.8% of the amount. I told her I did not know of any bank that charges such a rate. He told her they were taking the charges in physical cash. I have worked in a bank before, and I told her no bank in the world collects charges by physical cash. Charges are deducted electronically from the account. I visited the ABSA website and checked their tariffs. I saw a 5% charge on foreign account withdrawals, not 6.8%. But by then, she had already sent him 2,040 cedis.

I asked her, “Do you really know this guy?” She told me yes.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

According to her, the guy offered to send the money to her bank after the withdrawal, but she told him to find an MTN office and deposit it into her wallet instead.

The guy has not been picking up her calls since yesterday evening. This girl, my friend, may have just been scammed. Is this fraud, or is it real? What do you think?

—Gabby

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", "keywords": ", Man, From, the, May, Have, Just, Scammed, Work, Colleague", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/40457.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/a-man-from-the-uk-may-have-just-scammed-my-work-colleague/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 10:49:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139832", "lang_id": "1", "title": "While My Friends Were Fighting Me to Stick With My ex, My Husband Was Knocking", "title_slug": "while-my-friends-were-fighting-me-to-stick-with-my-ex-my-husband-was-knocking", "title_hash": "1b4e4719b33746acbc9aada00cfca5cc", "summary": "I grew up with Frances and Lucy. Back in Dormaa, the three of us were inseparable. We went to the same school and entered the university the same year. After …", "content": "

I grew up with Frances and Lucy. Back in Dormaa, the three of us were inseparable. We went to the same school and entered the university the same year. After university, Lucy stayed in Accra because, by then, her family had moved there.

I was dating Jordan, a guy I had dated when I was seventeen and still in school. The two of us were the standard when it came to relationships. Frances wanted something like ours. Lucy said the next guy she would meet should be someone in the category of Jordan. We both said our love was forever. We were young when we started dating, but there was a sneaky maturity to our relationship. I still don’t know where it came from.

After our national service, Frances and I packed our bags and went to visit Lucy in Accra. We didn’t know how long we were going to stay. We prayed we would get jobs while in Accra so we wouldn’t have to go back to Dormaa. It was a big house, but our presence made it look small. We were always happy and all over the place. If there was a party nearby, you could count on us to be there, rain or shine.

A few weeks later, Frances met a guy and fell in love with him. Lucy and I knew the guy was a fuck boy, but Frances was so in love she wouldn’t listen to us. Lucy was also dating Kobby. I was dating Jordan, who was in Dormaa, so anytime we went out and the two of them were with their boyfriends, I became very lonely. It got to a point where I wasn’t even happy going out with them because they left me alone and enjoyed the moment with their boyfriends.

I was always on the phone with Jordan, from morning till evening, telling him how much I missed him and how I wished he could be there so the three of us could go out with our boyfriends and I wouldn’t be lonely. Those were wishes, and they were not like horses a poor dreamer could ride on.

One evening, while the two of them were busy enjoying their boyfriends in a bar not far from home, a gentleman came to sit next to me and asked my name. He said he was Derrick. He really wanted to talk to me but didn’t have time, so he preferred that I give him my number. I did, believing he would call and I wouldn’t pick up. But he came like a storm, shattering all my defenses with beautiful conversations and an irresistible aura.

I told him I had a boyfriend but didn’t mind being friends with him. I said that so that if he had an ulterior motive, he would let go. He said, “I know you do. Who in his right mind wouldn’t know that a beautiful girl like you has a boyfriend?”

We were on the phone often, to the extent that Lucy and Frances got to know who he was. They started warning me to stay away or they would tell Jordan. I assured them nothing was going to happen. Derrick came for me often, especially after work. He asked me to stay in Accra, and I told him if only he would find me and my friend jobs.

Each time I came back from seeing Derrick, my friends got angry that I had a boyfriend and was also seeing another guy. I explained myself. I swore on my mother’s grave that nothing was going on. They hated Derrick because they thought he was crossing a line. They didn’t even want to meet him to see the kind of person he was. I kept him to myself and met him whenever he wanted to see me.

We spent over two months in Accra. A few days before leaving, Derrick took me out and I didn’t come back until dawn. We moved from one interesting place to another, as if he was showing me the whole of Accra in one night. When I got home, my friends said I had gone to spend the night with Derrick. They asked what happened in bed with him. “You want to tell us he didn’t touch you?” they asked. I replied, “I don’t even know his house. We were just roaming.”

Opinions had already been formed, so nothing I said worked. Lucy said I wasn’t being honest. Frances said I had betrayed Jordan and that it hurt her to know she had contributed by bringing me to Accra. I got very angry, and this issue nearly broke us apart.

I went to Jordan’s house to surprise him, and I saw a lady’s slippers under his bed. He said they were for a neighbor and later said, “Oh, it’s for Kwabena’s girlfriend. They came here just yesterday.”

There was also a wig cap trapped at the side of his bed. Obviously, a woman had been around. He swore heaven and earth that those things belonged to his friend’s girlfriend. I didn’t argue. I took photos of them without his knowledge, showed them to Kwabena’s girlfriend, and asked if they belonged to her. She answered, “No, I’ve never owned anything like this.” She also confirmed she had never been in Jordan’s room. When he realized I had gone that far for the truth, he confessed that he had been lonely while I was away and the lady had seduced him.

That was the end of our relationship. Even with all the evidence, Frances and Lucy accused me of leaving Jordan because of Derrick. At that moment, I realized I needed to live my own life without their opinions.

I spoke to Derrick every day, but I never told him what had happened. One day, he sent me a job link to apply for with Frances. I sent it to Frances, and she asked where I got it from. When I told her, she said, “He can’t use this to buy my support. He should leave you alone for Jordan.”

I applied and was called for an interview. Frances didn’t apply. Months later, I was back in Accra working. I stayed with Lucy for a while before getting my own place. For over a year, I spoke to Derrick every day, and he still believed I had a boyfriend. He was kind to me. He respected boundaries and showed me great respect as a woman in a relationship.

One day, I opened up and told him everything about Jordan. “We broke up long ago. I didn’t even get time to mourn the relationship because I needed to fix my own life.”

He said, “Sorry for everything.” I answered, “Oh, a year-old story? I moved on long ago.”

One morning, I woke up to a text message from him. He said, “What about me? Do I stand a chance? I promise I will do better.”

Within seven months, we were getting married. That was exactly what I told him when I accepted his proposal. I said, I’ve dated since I was seventeen and don’t know what else dating can teach me. I can’t go on for more than a year. If it wouldn’t work for you, that’s fine.” He answered, “A year? A lot can happen in a year. Trust me.”

Lucy and Frances stood by me during our wedding. A lifetime of friendship was celebrated that day. Dating Derrick made them believe what they had thought was true, but I was too old to explain. A day before my wedding, Frances called me lucky. She said, “The men we dated when you found Derrick are nowhere to be found, but you walked from Jordan to this. I’m very happy for you, and I’m also happy you didn’t listen to us.”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Today, they are both godmothers to my two daughters and very proud of our journey. Maybe what Frances said was true. I am one lucky girl, and finding Derrick when and where I did proves exactly that.

—Rosalinda

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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For nearly ten years, my husband and I have been the perfect picture from a distance. The kind of couple people look at and say, “Goals!”And yes, we’ve had good years. We’ve built something solid. Reliable. Think plain rice with stew: nothing flashy, but it fills you up and keeps you going.

But recently, I noticed something different. He was glowing. Not the fresh-out-of-a-prayer-meeting type of glow, no. This was a sparkle. A bounce. The man who used to grumble his way through Monday mornings was suddenly humming Highlife tunes and asking where I put his “nice shirt.” The one who always said, “I don’t do long talks,” was suddenly full of stories. Laughing loudly. Smiling easily. And the name that kept popping up in all those stories?

A woman.

A new friend, as he called her. Now, depending on your temperament, this is the point where you’d either pray fire or call your cousin who knows someone who knows someone. But I didn’t do that. I listened. I watched. I squinted hard enough to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. He was genuinely happy.

I had tried for years to bring out that version of him. The lighthearted, free, joyful man. I had cooked, prayed, cuddled, argued, sacrificed, even tried surprise date nights that ended with both of us sleeping in front of the TV. Nothing brought the sparkle back. But this woman shows up, and suddenly he’s beaming like a rechargeable lantern after a full night’s charge.

At first, I was jealous. Not of her, but of the him she’d uncovered. The version I hadn’t seen in so long, I almost forgot it existed. Then something unexpected happened. I started to enjoy this new version of him too. His happiness began to lift the air around the house. He laughed with me again. He teased. He kissed my forehead in the kitchen. We weren’t perfect, we’re still not, but for the first time in a long while, we felt alive again.

Should I be worried? Maybe.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I still lie awake sometimes and wonder if he’s drifting, if the name of that woman will one day become the headline of a heartbreak. But strangely, I’m not angry. Because for the first time in a long time, I feel like we’re both in the same room again and not just passing by.

And if she helped bring him back to that, then maybe I owe her a thank-you. Or at least a polite smile from a safe emotional distance.

—Juliana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "Should, Worried, About, The, Woman, Who, Brings, Happiness, Into, Husband’s, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/242622.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/should-i-be-worried-about-the-woman-who-brings-happiness-into-my-husbands-life/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 10:49:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139830", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Sent Another Woman to Test Me And I Didn’t Know", "title_slug": "she-sent-another-woman-to-test-me-and-i-didnt-know", "title_hash": "e98234ed0b23983a9fc053d2dfcb90fa", "summary": "This relationship is only five months old, but I’ve been tested three times to see if my love for her is real. Maybe it’s her age, because I don’t know …", "content": "

This relationship is only five months old, but I’ve been tested three times to see if my love for her is real. Maybe it’s her age, because I don’t know why anyone would go to such lengths to test a man’s love.

The first test came one late night around 12 a.m. She called me, her voice very feeble, like she was in pain. She said, “I’m suffering. The pain is too much. Can you…” and the phone went dead. I called her several times, but there was no response. I dressed up, jumped into a taxi, and rushed to her place, fearing something was happening to her. When I got there, she was sleeping peacefully. She said, “I thought you wouldn’t come. You passed.”

I got angry. I warned her to play with everything but not matters of health and death. She said, “You can continue standing there angry or join me in bed. Your choice.” The fun we had was worth the hustle, so I let it go.

The second test came from a lady I met at the mall while waiting for my girlfriend. The lady asked me to help with her load, and I did. A beautiful lady by all standards. We got to her car, and she thanked me profusely and asked us to exchange numbers. She said she wanted to meet me again and pay for my kindness.

She called that day, and we talked, and that was all. I didn’t call her back because, to be honest, I don’t have the energy for chit-chat that goes nowhere. Her last message to me was, “How have you been? Long time.”

I didn’t respond.

Later, my girlfriend confessed that she sent her to test me, and I passed.

In the third test, she asked for money I didn’t have to do something she wouldn’t explain. “I will tell you what I’m using it for later. Just get me the money. I’ll pay at the end of the month.”

I asked friends for a soft loan, and they came through for me. I gave her the money, and two weeks later she returned the same amount, arranged exactly the way I had handed it over to her. She said, “I didn’t need it, but thanks so much for coming through.” I asked, “Is that one of your crazy tests?” She answered, “I didn’t say that, but you can think it the way you want.”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

She’s twenty-four. I’m thirty-one. Look at the age gap, but she’s the one testing me. She had better be a billionaire’s daughter in disguise who’s looking for a faithful man to marry, because when these series of tests are over and she doesn’t take me to a mansion in front of her dad and say, “I was testing to see if you can love me for who I am,” I will be very disappointed.

—Osei

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "She, Sent, Another, Woman, Test, And, Didn’t, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/20672817.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/she-sent-another-woman-to-test-me-and-i-didnt-know/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 10:49:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139170", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Power of Everyday Connection: Why Family Rituals Matter", "title_slug": "the-power-of-everyday-connection-why-family-rituals-matter", "title_hash": "7f4feace4d76db4846be1693977e5884", "summary": "Discover how small family rituals build emotional connection, security, and trust. Learn how everyday moments strengthen parent-child relationships.\nThe post The Power of Everyday Connection: Why Family Rituals Matter appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Discover how small family rituals build emotional connection, security, and trust. Learn how everyday moments strengthen parent-child relationships.

The post The Power of Everyday Connection: Why Family Rituals Matter appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Power, Everyday, Connection:, Why, Family, Rituals, Matter", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/GettyImages-2116804796.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-power-of-everyday-connection-why-family-rituals-matter/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 09:38:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139033", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Problem with Overgaming Girls You Like", "title_slug": "the-problem-with-overgaming-girls-you-like", "title_hash": "0f969fb6b9f2fed296f148a708df00f6", "summary": "Most girls require game to get. But start overgaming them, and you risk doing too much of a good thing – and may bore, frustrate, or even lose the girl.\nHey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing well. \n\n\n", "content": "

$\"are$ Most girls require game to get. But start overgaming them, and you risk doing too much of a good thing – and may bore, frustrate, or even lose the girl.

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Problem, with, Overgaming, Girls, You, Like", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/overgaming-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/problem-overgaming-girls-you", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139034", "lang_id": "1", "title": "\"She Never Wants to Have Sex!\" You're Probably Not F*cking Her Long Enough", "title_slug": "she-never-wants-to-have-sex-youre-probably-not-fcking-her-long-enough", "title_hash": "d78565a2f8cc594e65c6ee05a9527ac6", "summary": "Women avoid sex that feels obligatory. If it’s just another chore, like doing laundry, it’s not fun. If you want her DESIRE, sex needs to LAST LONG and be very PLEASURABLE for her.\nThe #1 complaint I see from men in very long-term relationships is about the sex drying up.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"if$ Women avoid sex that feels obligatory. If it’s just another chore, like doing laundry, it’s not fun. If you want her DESIRE, sex needs to LAST LONG and be very PLEASURABLE for her.

The #1 complaint I see from men in very long-term relationships is about the sex drying up.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "She, Never, Wants, Have, Sex, Youre, Probably, Not, Fcking, Her, Long, Enough", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/she-never-wants-to-have-sex-1-ii.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/she-never-wants-have-sex-youre-probably-not-fcking-her-long-enough", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139035", "lang_id": "1", "title": "[WATCH] 2 New Videos on the (Dreaded!) \"Age Gap Dating\"", "title_slug": "watch-2-new-videos-on-the-dreaded-age-gap-dating", "title_hash": "644756032cc306e75d7027165c621d64", "summary": "If you’re a single man over the age of 23, there’s an excellent chance you’re attracted to women younger than you.\nBut: is it POSSIBLE to date women who are your juniors?\nDo you have to be a “Mr. Moneybags” to even have a shot with such girls?\nHaven’t women stopped going for older men altogether in our day and age of social media shaming and height-, looks-, and age-regimented online dating?\nI break down these topics in a pair of new videos, live now on GirlsChase.TV.\n \n\n\n", "content": "

If you’re a single man over the age of 23, there’s an excellent chance you’re attracted to women younger than you.

But: is it POSSIBLE to date women who are your juniors?

Do you have to be a “Mr. Moneybags” to even have a shot with such girls?

Haven’t women stopped going for older men altogether in our day and age of social media shaming and height-, looks-, and age-regimented online dating?

I break down these topics in a pair of new videos, live now on GirlsChase.TV.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "WATCH, New, Videos, the, Dreaded, Age, Gap, Dating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/watch-2-new-videos-dreaded-age-gap-dating", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139032", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Little Habits Than Instantly Make You More Dateable", "title_slug": "little-habits-than-instantly-make-you-more-dateable", "title_hash": "268236835cbb94a933906c89513218cd", "summary": "7 Things Every Guy Could Start Doing Now to Help Him Have More Dating Success", "content": "You exchanged a few playful messages. You went on a great first date… or so you thought. What started off as a promising connection suddenly turns into nothing. You never hear back from them. \nIf this scenario happens to you on a regular basis, you may start getting discouraged or think that it’s because of factors like your looks or height. But it’s often little habits that impact how you’re perceived by dates. \n“I wish men understood that there is so much they can do to influence their dateability in terms of how they show up,” says psychotherapist Madeleine Phelan. “So many of my male clients beat themselves up over things they cannot control or change, like their height or appearance, instead of focusing on things they can influence.”\nColette Jane Fehr, LMFT and author of the book The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love, adds that your habits signal emotional stability and respect: “If they’re not consistent, or worse, don’t portray you in the best way possible, a relationship isn’t going to go very far – even if there is that initial chemistry.” \nRELATED: Understanding the Difference Between Attraction and Compatibility\nSo, what should you focus on to maximize your dateability? From how you treat the waiter to how you carry yourself in conversations, here are seven little habits that make you instantly more dateable, according to dating and relationship experts. \n1. Being Consistent \nChemistry might be important, but many daters won’t settle for sparks without consistency. What does being consistent mean in practice and what kind of habits can you embrace? \nSimply put, it’s when your words and actions align and you do the things you say you will, says Phelan, who adds that tangible ways to show consistency while dating include checking in regularly, calling or texting when you say you will, and following up within 24 hours to plan the next date. \n2. Caring About Your Appearance \n \nResearch shows that people form snap judgements just by looking at your face — and this happens as quickly as within the first 39 milliseconds of an interaction. \nSimple habits like showering, brushing your teeth, combing your hair and grooming your facial hair can make or break that very first impression, even if it’s unconscious. So, don’t skip those rituals before a date. \n3. Treating Others Kindly \nYou’re probably not trying to be rude, but some moments can send the wrong message and lower your dateability. \nRELATED: What Women Notice on a First Date\nMaybe you’re short with the waiter because you’re nervous and trying to focus on your date, or you start venting about a coworker and sounding mean without realizing it. Dates take note of the way you treat others, and kindness is always attractive, regardless of who you’re speaking to or about. \n4. Having Good Manners \nGood manners aren’t old-fashioned. According to a survey commissioned by the Marriage Foundation, almost 60% of women aged 18-35 rate bad manners as a red flag.\n“Basic manners go a long way,” says Fehr. “When you say please and thank you, ask how someone is doing, hold the door for others or wait to eat your meal until everyone at the table receives their food, it says a lot about you and makes you more dateable.”\nRELATED: Red Flags in a Relationship \n5. Talking About Feelings \nWhile habits like good hygiene are more surface-level, matches and dates also pay attention to the way you deal (or don’t deal) with the realm of deeper emotions. As Fehr puts it, a man is more dateable when he can talk about his feelings. \nHabits like being vulnerable, staying open when conversations get emotional and carrying yourself with maturity will generally be treated as green flags. If you struggle talking about feelings, even sharing that fact is better than shutting down or changing the subject when a conversation gets more intimate. \n6. Asking Thoughtful Questions\nEric Resnick, online dating coach and founder of ProfileHelper, says that many straight women complain about men not truly listening to them. \n“If you’re someone who can't focus and contribute to a conversation, it makes women feel like you are really only there for what you might get at the end of the date. It's a habit that gives off an extremely unlikable vibe,” says Resnick. \nRELATED: How Asking Questions & Listening Make You Way Sexier \nGet into the habit of asking follow-up questions and being genuinely interested in the answer — it’ll go a long way to increase your dateability. \n7. Not Trying Too Hard \nCaring about making a good impression is human. It means you’re actually invested in the outcome of a conversation or a date, and that’s a good thing. But trying too hard to look cool can backfire and come across as performative.\nRELATED: Dating Mistakes That Make Men Seem 'Thirsty'\n“Women can smell it a mile away, and it smells like desperation and false bravado. Be yourself. Smile. Don't worry about trying to impress her,” adds Resnick. \nThe best part? None of these habits are about changing who you are. They’re tweaks that can make a big difference in the momentum you build while dating — all while staying true to yourself. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nThe Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love This YearNon-Sexual Things That Women Find Wildly Erotic", "keywords": "Little, Habits, Than, Instantly, Make, You, More, Dateable", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/little-habits-than-instantly-make-you-more-dateable/askmen-lead-image-2x1-80-1767993467.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/little-habits-than-instantly-make-you-more-dateable.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139030", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Art of Good Morning Sex: Benefits, Positions & More", "title_slug": "the-art-of-good-morning-sex-benefits-positions-more", "title_hash": "fd0ba7830ed21e66d74dea2285b76a6d", "summary": "Waking up with morning wood is as good a reason as any to initiate some morning action. Here's how to go about it.", "content": "Have you ever woken up in a deep state of arousal? Not just experiencing morning wood, but actually turned on? \nWhether it was a seriously sexy dream you just woke up from or sprang up seemingly out of nowhere as soon as you became conscious, it might be the only thing you can think about. \nAnd if you slept in bed with someone else, whether a spouse, a long-term partner or a hookup, your first instinct might be to try to initiate what’s commonly known as morning sex.\nThere is something special about getting it on in the morning: sex that’s not preceded by a hot date, flirty banter, drinking, or a day’s worth of sexual tension building up. \nIt’s sex without taking off layers of clothes, sex without makeup or grooming products, sex without brushed teeth, mouthwash or breath mints. It’s sex au naturel without pretense, and instead, it’s just bodies, sensations and desire.\nRELATED: Different Types of Sex Women Enjoy\nTo help get to the bottom of why getting lucky before lunch is special, and what you need to do to make it happen, AskMen spoke with three different sexperts to put together everything you need to know about morning sex.\n\nWhat Is Morning Sex?\n\nFor starters, there’s no exact time limit on what constitutes morning sex. It’s usually before noon, but late risers can technically enjoy morning sex in the early afternoon. It’s really more about waking up and having sex before you do anything else than it is about whatever numbers are showing on the clock.\n“Morning sex is, typically, sex you have first thing in the morning before getting out of bed or starting your day,” says Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com. “For some people, it’s sex before sun-up or before your alarm goes off. For others, it might be the sex you have when you first wake up, regardless of the time of day.”\nAnd there’s a biological reason why morning sex just makes so much sense.\nRELATED: The Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life\n“Testosterone and energy levels can be higher in the morning, so many people report that they feel more primed for sex,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast.\n“If you have a penis, morning wood, also known as nocturnal penile tumescence, is part of your regular sleep pattern, and you likely get erections several times per night,” she adds. “When you’re awake, the neurotransmitter norepinephrine constricts the blood vessels of the penis to restrict blood flow and prevent erections.”\nWhile you sleep, however, O'Reilly notes, “your levels of norepinephrine drop and allow extra blood to flow to the penis, resulting in the morning wood — which you can put to good use during morning sex.”\nRELATED: The Science Behind How Erections Work\nApart from the fact that there’s a decent chance you wake up already physically read to go — aroused, relaxed and with little to no clothing on — morning sex also differs from afternoon or nighttime sex in other ways.\n“Morning sex is different from the sex you have when you first go to bed because it’s more relaxed,” says Lords. “One or both partners are usually still sleepy. You’re groggy and primarily going on instinct.”\nWhile that might not sound like the stuff of sexual fantasy for everyone, lots of people do find it really hot.\n“For the partner being woken up this way, it can feel good to know that your partner wants you first thing in the morning before you’ve brushed your teeth, showered or even had a cup of coffee,” notes Lords. “Morning sex often feels more intimate than sex at other times of the day because just waking up and being sleepy is a vulnerable moment in the day.”\nRELATED: 69 Sex Things Every Guy Should Try at Least Once\nBut while some are big fans of getting it on in the early hours, that doesn’t mean everyone’s going to be in love with the idea.\n“Different people have different sex time preferences, which may change over time, so make sure to chat about it with your partner,” advises sex educator Kenneth Play. “The preference may be from conditioning (do they always masturbate in the morning?) or from their personal circadian rhythm.”\n“Most of the difference is dependent on the person, and how they feel about morning sex, but there can also be some fun to having a morning quickie as a sort of ‘special event’ or when you know you have to head somewhere soon,” Play adds. \nMorning sex before something — a regular work day, or a special occasion of some kind — can be an extremely pleasant experience.\n“Morning sex can help you to start the day on the right foot thanks to the endorphin release associated with arousal and orgasm,” says O’Reilly. “From a practical perspective, morning may be the right time because it sets the tone for the day.\nShe also points out that morning sex can be a great option for couples who find they don’t have any energy left in the evenings.\nRELATED: Best Lazy Bedroom Sex Positions, Illustrated\n“By the end of the day, you can be both emotionally and physically exhausted, so if you love sex, get it out of the way before breakfast,” she adds. “Increased levels of oxytocin may also help you to maintain the connection with your partner throughout the day. Good sex can also lead to reduced tension and stress in your relationship as your body and mind reset after orgasm.”\n\nHow to Have Morning Sex: Dos & Don’ts\n\nSo what does good morning sex consist of? Let’s break it down:\nDo Get Consent\nMorning sex, like any sex, should be fully consensual for everyone involved. If one of you wakes up horny and the other one isn’t, you can obviously make the suggestion, but if they’re not feeling it, you’ll need to know when to give up. \n‘Playfully’ trying to bully them into it is not a good strategy, and, unless that’s a kink you've explicitly discussed before, trying to start things off when they’re still asleep is an outright horrible one.\n“Before you wake a partner up with sex, make sure it’s OK,” says Lords. “If they’re giving a signal that they don’t want it or aren’t responding, stop. Wait until they’re fully awake and ask them.”\nNot only is sexual consent paramount, it also suggests that discussing the matter the night before is also a good idea. “Get consent beforehand and negotiate before you go to bed, especially if they are not a morning person,” notes Play, since not everyone will feel up to having a discussion about what they do and don’t want immediately upon being awoken.\nThat being said, if they are into it, here’s how to proceed:\nDon’t Make It Complicated\nOne of the joys of morning sex is how simple it can be. You’re likely only half-awake when it begins, meaning there probably aren’t a lot of things to keep track of. \nThere’s a time and a place for sex that incorporates a lot of toys, a lot of position changes, role-play and so forth, but morning sex is probably not it. Instead, focus on a simple position, like spooning, and lean into the fact that this can be fun in a different way from night-time (or even day-time) sex. \n“Don’t overcomplicate things,” says Lords. “Pull the covers back. Pick a position that’s most comfortable for both of you. You can push your partner’s clothes to the side or help them get naked (assuming you don’t already sleep naked).”\nDo Use Foreplay\nWhile the sex doesn’t need to be an hours-long marathon, that doesn’t mean you can skip the basics. \nHelping to get your partner in the mood is a necessity if you want to have genuinely enjoyable sex, particularly if your partner’s a woman. In that case, she’ll likely need extra time to get in the mood.\n“Morning sex can be a softer, gentler kind of quickie,” says Lords. “But if your partner wants and needs the warm-up of ‘foreplay,’ give it to them.”\nDon’t Just Wait Until You’re in the Mood\nIf morning sex is something you crave that never seems to magically materialize, it might be because you need to plan for it a little more.\n“Don’t wait until you’re in the mood (if you want to want sex),” says O’Reilly. “Most of us aren’t spontaneously in the mood — we have to get ourselves aroused, and then the desire follows.”\nRELATED: Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire\nLords has a practical solution for this: “If you want morning sex to be a part of your life, talk to your partner about sleeping naked to make it even easier.”\nRegardless, talking to your partner about the idea of morning sex in advance can go a long way towards opening them up to the idea.\nDo Practice Safe Sex\nIf you’re used to using condoms, that obligation doesn’t disappear just because it’s before noon.\n“Always remember to follow whatever safer sex protocol you’ve both agreed to,” says Lords. “If that means wearing condoms and/or using lube, do it. It would be a major violation of trust to pretend you ‘forgot’ that part.”\nPlay agrees that having lube on hand is a key move. In case you aren’t already, consider keeping whatever you need for sex close at hand, such as on a nightstand next to the bed or at least somewhere in the bedroom, so you’re not tempted to go on without it in the heat of the moment.Don’t Fixate on Penetration\n\n\n\nAs much fun as penetrative sex can be, it’s not the be-all end-all of sexual pleasure. Whether you’re trying for anal or vaginal sex, penetration on demand can be a whole lot trickier to pull off than oral sex, manual stimulation or even mutual masturbation.\nEven if you find other forms of sex less exciting, being flexible on what the sex looks like can mean the difference between both of you cuddling post-orgasm and the disappointment of a morning sex rejection.\nRELATED: Why Every Guy Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex \n\nMorning Sex Pro Tips\n\nNow that you know the basics, how do you take your morning sex from good to great?\nPlan Around Lazy Mornings\nIf you know you or your partner has to jump out of bed at 7 a.m. to make an early work meeting, or bring the kids to school, don’t expect much. Instead, whether you discuss it in advance or not, you should give morning sex a shot on stress-free mornings.\nRELATED: Understanding Maintenance Sex\n“Take into consideration your plans for the morning,” notes Play. “If one of you has to really make a meeting, maybe don't schedule it for then. Sleepy Sunday with plenty of time? Enjoy yourselves!”\nNot only will this make things easier from a pure scheduling perspective, less stress will make it easier for both of you to get aroused.\nKeep Water and Mints by the Bed\nIs bad breath a concern? There are ways around that, too.\n“Check in about morning breath preferences, or just don't kiss,” suggests Play. “Also, have a glass or bottle of water (bottles especially are great cause they won't spill) on the nightstand because everyone's dehydrated in the morning.”\nMorning Sex Can Still Be Dark\nYou or your partner might feel more at ease with late-night sex because it’s dark out and you prefer to have sex with the lights off. If that’s the case, morning sex can present a hurdle if your bedroom is flooded with sunshine.\n“If you feel self conscious in the morning while you’re still waking up, keep a few sleep masks (to use as blindfolds) or do it under the covers,” suggests O’Reilly. If that doesn’t work, you can always invest in some heavy-duty blackout curtains.\nThe Moment Doesn’t Have to End With Sex\nAfter things have ended, whether that’s with orgasms or not, don’t forget to let the intimacy of the moment extend a little bit.\n“Spoon and snuggle to stay connected for a few minutes afterwards,” suggests O’Reilly. While that might not be an option, if it is, a good post-coital cuddle can help end the moment on a high note. And one last thing?\nRELATED: Best Cuddling Positions, Illustrated\n“Remember to pee after sex, even if you're sleepy,” advises Play. Doing so will help both of you avoid infection by clearing bacteria out of your urethral tracts. No matter how hot or intimate your morning sex is, a UTI is not something you want to wake up to the day after.\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tWhy Hotel Sex Is Super Hot, Explained\n\tThe Giant AskMen Guide to Foreplay\n\tHow to Talk About Your Unsatisfying Sex Life", "keywords": "The, Art, Good, Morning, Sex:, Benefits, Positions, More", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2019/10/11-022156-the_art_of_good_morning_sex_benefits_positions_more.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/the-art-of-good-morning-sex-benefits-positions-more.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139031", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Find a Relationship in 2026", "title_slug": "how-to-find-a-relationship-in-2026", "title_hash": "f48c8e0730104002edad2b46da72c53d", "summary": "6 Pro Tips for (Finally) Finding a Real Relationship in 2026", "content": "Even if January isn’t the most exciting month on its own, on some level, each new year is an exciting opportunity — a clean slate, a fresh start, a blank page.\nSure, it’s just the same life you’d been leading before with a different number on the calendar, but the starting over that it suggests is symbolic: You can take it as an opportunity to approach things with a new mindset, and (as so many people do with their new year’s resolutions), to set goals for themselves. \nIt’s no secret that lots of people start the year looking to achieve concrete goals that’ll make them happier — losing weight, drinking or smoking less, going new places, completing personal projects. \nBut what about resolving to find a relationship? Even if they’re hoping for one, you may not see as many people list that as a goal. For starters, since starting a relationship involves the participation of another person, it’s not wholly under your control. \nBut it’s also worth considering the many ways in which getting into a relationship is under your control. That is to say, there are things you can do that will affect how easy it is for you to find a romantic partner.\nRELATED: How to Find Love This Year, Explained\nSo, whether you’ve been single for too long or have just struggled to turn dating and situationships into something more, well, read on. With the right attitude, 2026 could be your year.\n\n6 Tips for Finding a Relationship in 2026\n\n1. Work on Yourself First\nThis could mean taking your physical fitness more seriously, working on your wardrobe and grooming routine, cultivating your talents and interests, or (stay with me here) going to therapy. \nWhatever it is that you do, if you’re working on making yourself the best version of yourself, you’ll build confidence and people will start to notice you more and think of you differently. \nIt’s true that not everyone has charm, money, good looks, or the other stereotypical qualities many men think they need in order to find someone, but it’s also true that if you’re feeling unlovable, unattractive or simply undateable, it’s important to remember that the you you are now isn’t a permanent state and that everyone’s tastes are different.\nRELATED: Myths About Women & What They Want \nWhatever angle you choose to work on (and you can choose several), there’s not much that’s more attractive than a guy with the humility to recognize his faults and the ambition to improve himself.\n2. Think About How You Approach Women\nIf you’re gay or just not interested in dating women, you can probably skip this section, but for the many guys out there who are, this is crucial info: A lot of women find men who don’t respect them to be a huge turnoff. \nIf you put in some work to check — and maybe change — your perception of women and treat them as fellow humans who deserve equal rights and to be taken seriously, you’d be surprised at how much easier it’ll be to find someone who wants to be in a relationship with you. \nTry talking to women you know or are close to about their experiences with sexism and misogynistic men. Try reading books or online advice about how to be a better feminist, and put into practice what you learn. You’ll be grateful… and so will the women you go on dates with. \n3. Sign Up for a Dating App\nThis might be a gimme, but seriously, if you’re not signed up for an online dating app of any kind, you’re doing your chances of finding a relationship an immense disservice. \nOver the past decade or two, online dating has skyrocketed in terms of popularity, and these days you’re much more likely to find a date through digital means than by, say, asking the cutie you ran into at the grocery store out for dinner. \nIf you’re genuinely looking for a relationship in 2026, sign up for at least one online dating option. If you’re wary of more hookup-oriented apps, there are a lot of online dating destinations tailored for basically every interest, demographic category, and niche subculture out there. \nYou can check out the below article for some relationship-oriented dating apps, for instance, where you’re more likely to meet people with similar dating goals as yours:\nRELATED: Best Dating Apps for Relationships \n4. Put Yourself Out There\nIf you’re shy when it comes to dating, set a goal and do your darnedest to hit it. Whether it’s swiping right on more people, messaging more people, or asking people out more, you should be shooting to reach out more. \nRELATED: Great First-Date Ideas Single Guys Should Memorize\nOpportunities to be in relationships stem from making connections, and if you’re not doing the basic stuff like saying, “Hey, let’s go see a movie” or “Want to grab drinks?”, unfortunately, you might never end up at a point where you have the “Let’s be exclusive” conversation. \nFeeling anxious about making that move? That’s relatable, but it’s also something you can push through if you’re willing to be brave. For more on that, keep on reading — point no. 6 in this list addresses it. \n5. Be Honest About Your Feelings\nMaybe the thing holding you back from success is that you haven’t tried. This is a long shot, but if you have someone you’re attracted to who you’re too scared to ask out, it might be time to give it a try and be honest about your feelings. \nIt’s easy to find yourself trapped in a cycle of “Now’s not the right time to bring it up,” but the truth is that if you really want to make something happen with someone, it’s better to shoot your shot. \nRELATED: The Secret Benefits of the Friend Zone Most Guys Don't Know About\nMake this year the one you find out if your crush likes you back. It’s a win/win — either they do (win) or they don’t, but you’re no longer trapped in a state of emotional suspended animation (also win) and you can start to move on and find someone new. \n6. Don’t Fear Failure\nAt its core, struggling to find a long-term relationship often involves the fear of failure. If you skipped through all the above advice (no judgment), take this to heart: Try your best not to let fear of failure prevent you from seeking happiness. \nRELATED: How to Handle Romantic Rejection Like a Boss\nA lot of people are content to go through life without pursuing their dreams because they fear trying and failing more than never trying at all. If your goal in life is to never share any beautiful moments of love and passion, then that’s fine! You do you. Aromantic and asexual people exist, and their experiences are just as valid as any one else’s. \nBut if you’re pretending you’re OK with being alone because it’s easier than trying to find someone and getting shot down, you’re doing yourself an immense disservice. \nWhatever it takes, remember and repeat to yourself: “2026 is the year I try to find a relationship.” Sure, you might fail. You might find yourself reading an article just like this one a year from now. But it won’t be for lack of trying.\nYou Might Also Dig: \nThe Top Traits Women Look for in a Guy, RevealedWomen Reveal How They Like to Be ApproachedSigns She Actually Likes You and Is Not Just Being Polite", "keywords": "How, Find, Relationship, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2021/11/01-014535-how_to_find_a_relationship_in_2022.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-find-a-relationship-in-2019.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "139029", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Improve Your Sex Life in the New Year", "title_slug": "how-to-improve-your-sex-life-in-the-new-year", "title_hash": "5505f33bd9a0e9c587216100e1b7d548", "summary": "A Renowned Sex Expert Shares 7 Tips to Help You Prioritize Pleasure in 2026", "content": "As 2026 gets into full swing, now is the perfect time to set some resolutions that bring excitement, anticipation, and even more intimacy into the bedroom. A fulfilling sex life isn’t just about physical connection. It’s also about communication, trust, pleasure and self-discovery. \nRenowned sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight is working with classified ad site, Vivastreet to help people prioritize pleasure this year. Here, Anabelle shares her top sexual resolutions you could make to help transform your year.\nRELATED: Sex Resolutions for 2026\n1. Prioritize Open Communication\nTalking about sex can be daunting, but it’s essential for a healthy relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Honest communication strengthens emotional bonds and helps you understand one another better. If conversations feel awkward, start small (like discussing what you enjoy during intimacy) and build from there.\n2. Explore New Experiences\nThey say that variety is the spice of life, and this is even more true in the bedroom. Experimenting with something new, whether it’s trying different positions, introducing sex toys, or exploring role-play, can reignite the spark in your relationship. If you can approach these experiences with curiosity and a sense of adventure then you’re bound to have a good time with your partner, even if what you try doesn’t end up floating your boat.\n3. Schedule Time for Intimacy\nIt’s easy for intimacy to take a back seat, especially when you factor in juggling work, family, and social obligations. However, quality time with your partner should be just as important as any other life commitment. Setting specific time aside for regular date nights or “us time” creates positive anticipation and can help you to keep the connection alive. It’s important to remember that true intimacy isn’t just about sex; it can also mean cuddling, deep conversations, or simply being present with each other.\n4. Focus on Self-Care\nYour overall well-being is deeply connected to your sex life. Prioritize enjoying a well-balanced lifestyle; regular exercise, eating nourishing foods, and finding ways to manage stress, whether through meditation, journaling, or therapy, is all really important. Feeling good in your own skin is one of the best ways to show up for yourself, your partner and your relationship.\n5. Educate Yourself\nSexuality is a journey, and there’s always more to learn. Reading books, listening to podcasts, attending workshops, or even following sex educators online, are all ways in which you can explore new perspectives and techniques. You might learn about anatomy, the science of arousal, or ways you and your partner can deepen emotional intimacy. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions and create more meaningful experiences in your sex life.\n6. Break the Taboo of Self-Love\nSolo pleasure is a natural and healthy way to explore your body and understand your preferences. Knowing what you find pleasurable allows you to communicate your needs confidently to your partner. Make time for yourself without guilt or shame and remember that masturbation is actually just another form of self-care. \n7. Advocate for Mutual Pleasure\nA truly satisfying sexual relationship is about give and take. Try to make mutual pleasure a priority during intimate moments. It’s important to understand what your partner enjoys and communicate your own needs as well. Mutual pleasure isn’t just about physical satisfaction — it’s about feeling valued, respected, and emotionally connected. This year, focus on creating a partnership where both of you feel fulfilled and appreciated.\nBy committing to these resolutions, you’re not just enhancing your sex life, you’re investing in your relationship, self-confidence, and overall happiness as well.\nYou Might Also Dig:\n How to Find and Stimulate the Male G-SpotThe Benefits of Sex TherapyHow and Where to Buy a Sex Toy Online", "keywords": "How, Improve, Your, Sex, Life, the, New, Year", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "38", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-to-improve-your-sex-life-in-the-new-year/am-2x1-1738674746.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-to-improve-your-sex-life-in-the-new-year.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-11 05:52:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "138831", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’ve Been in the Talking Stage for Too Long", "title_slug": "ive-been-in-the-talking-stage-for-too-long", "title_hash": "89dd33c2a78fd75566e1688c957af99f", "summary": "Two years ago, I chopped my last breakfast. That messy, symbolic end of a relationship feels like a lifetime away now. Yes, two full years later, I can finally say …", "content": "

Two years ago, I chopped my last breakfast. That messy, symbolic end of a relationship feels like a lifetime away now. Yes, two full years later, I can finally say it: my heart is open. I’m ready to move on, to find love, or perhaps, to let love find me.

Since then, there have been offers. A lot of them. Men make advances, ask me out, but I always find a polite way to decline. The truth is, they’re just not what I want. My ‘what I want’ has a name, and it’s Ken.

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I met him on a sunny afternoon, rushing to work. He offered a lift, and in that short drive, something shifted. He asked for my number, and since then, he has woven himself into the fabric of my days. He is the first good morning and the last goodnight. I spend nearly half my waking hours talking to him. When his work allows it, he’s my almost-constant companion, who notices the smallest details—a pair of sandals I admired online, my favorite lunch order. He remembers everything.

He has introduced me to new worlds, patiently teaching me how to play video games on his couch. We’ve explored fun places, tried outdoor adventures, and I’ve met the important people in his life. For four months, it has been this beautiful, dizzying routine of near-perfection.

But yet.

He hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. Not a word.

This undefined space is where my mind starts to race. I feel a pinch of jealousy when his line is busy, or when he’s online and silent. We haven’t been intimate; he hasn’t even tried. The closest we get is a warm, lingering hug. And still, the simple sight of his name on my caller ID can turn my entire day around, from zero to a hundred. I have liked him that much, fiercely and completely, from the very first moment.

A friend says I should just ask him what he wants. But the idea feels too forward, like I’d be spoiling a delicate spell. I’m not desperate. But, I know what to do. I just want to know where I stand so I can play my part correctly. Should I give him more time? Could there be someone else? Or maybe, and this thought aches, he simply enjoys my company and wants me just as a friend.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

So here I am, two years healed, with a heart ready to love, caught in the silent question of a man who feels like everything but says nothing. The wait is its own kind of heartbreak, beautiful and confusing all at once.

—Israel

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", "keywords": "I’ve, Been, the, Talking, Stage, for, Too, Long", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/international-women-s-day-concept-happy-african-american-young-woman-with-bunch-peony-flowers.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/ive-been-in-the-talking-stage-for-too-long/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-08 06:04:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "138830", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Sister is Angry Because I Asked Her Boyfriend to Take Care of Her", "title_slug": "my-sister-is-angry-because-i-asked-her-boyfriend-to-take-care-of-her", "title_hash": "a365672577f150ead471c3e719c7b991", "summary": "My sister takes everything from me, even money to fix her hair. She’s twenty-five and working. Her job doesn’t pay much, so I could understand her need for assistance, and …", "content": "

My sister takes everything from me, even money to fix her hair. She’s twenty-five and working. Her job doesn’t pay much, so I could understand her need for assistance, and I assisted her without thinking twice about it.

She lives with my mom and dad, so anytime I went home and she saw me, she would tax me. She would call and ask me to send her MoMo. She would send a photo of a dress and say, “Just imagine me in this dress. Just imagine.” I would send her the money to buy it.

One day a guy followed her home and she introduced the guy as her boyfriend. Surprisingly, my parents already knew the guy because he had been visiting her very often. I asked her, “You have a boyfriend? Since when?” She boldly told me they had dated for over a year.” Out of shock I said, “And I’m still the one giving you money to fix your hair?”

I turned to the guy and jovially told him, “Please do your job so she would leave me alone.” My parents laughed and I also laughed, but the two of them wore a serious face. Later in the evening, she texted me and said, “What was that embarrassment for? Do you know what you said hurt him that bad? Now he’s not talking to me.”

I was so angry but I controlled the anger. I said, “Call him on the phone and let me apologize to him. I was only joking.” She replied, “This response is enough. I will send a screenshot to him.”

I insisted I wanted to even apologize in person, but she declined and said she would handle the rest.

A few days later, she was asking me to send her money because she was broke. I didn’t hold back. “You’re not even ashamed that you’re telling me this? You’re broke? Where’s the guy I hurt? This is the time for him to show his krakye powers. Never in your life ask for anything from me again. I have a girlfriend. When she’s broke, I sort her out. I can’t do that job twice when you also have a boyfriend.”

The two of us haven’t talked again since then. I think this time she’s the one I hurt and not her boyfriend. She took the rest of the fight to her WhatsApp status saying, “Don’t allow them to control you because of the little favor they do for you,” and later also said, “They want you to worship them just because they are ahead. Life is not a race.”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I read such things and I laugh. She can sing from all the chapters of Songs of Solomon or recite all the poetic motivation speeches in the world; I don’t care. She has a man she carries on her head. That man should carry her on his head too. Or am I being too hard on her for nothing?

—Charles

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*****

", "keywords": ", Sister, Angry, Because, Asked, Her, Boyfriend, Take, Care, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/298524.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-sister-is-angry-because-i-asked-her-boyfriend-to-take-care-of-her/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-08 06:04:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "138829", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Asked Me to Stop Drinking. Since I Did, the Love Has Faded", "title_slug": "she-asked-me-to-stop-drinking-since-i-did-the-love-has-faded", "title_hash": "58d339b7eb4ded3384d19d76700a0ba8", "summary": "I didn’t ask her to be my girlfriend. I told her I wanted her to be my wife. “Say yes today and tomorrow we are married,” I told her. She …", "content": "

I didn’t ask her to be my girlfriend. I told her I wanted her to be my wife. “Say yes today and tomorrow we are married,” I told her. She didn’t take me seriously. She laughed every word I said off, but I was serious. I hadn’t seen any woman as beautiful as her. The connection was instant. My heart beat awkwardly, without a rhythm. She said, “I hear you, but leave it alone for now. One day I will give you a response.”

She said yes. It took me three months of consistently reminding her of my love before I got a yes from her. I introduced her to my friends as my wifey. They called her beautiful. I told them we were getting married tomorrow.

She didn’t like my friends very much. She said they were a bad influence on me. “They take you to a bar to drink. They make you so loud, but when I’m alone with you, you’re such a quiet gentleman.”

It was hard, but one after the other, I let my friends go. Those I watched football with. Those I went out to chill with. Those who discovered new alcohol combinations and told me about it. I let all of them go.

I took her home to meet my dad and mom. I said, “Meet my wife.” My dad said he was proud of my choice. He asked about her work and the house she came from. She spoke carefully, picking her words from respect and humility. My dad told me to marry her as soon as possible. My mom supported my dad.

On our way going, I asked her, “When are we going to get married?” She answered, “When you stop drinking. I love you so much, but it looks like you love your alcohol more than me. Stop it and there will be no walls between us.”

I started drinking before I turned eighteen. I learned it from friends I met in high school. I wanted to belong. I was a shy person, but I realized whenever I drank something, the shyness disappeared. I drank so I could perform on stage. I drank heavily so I could propose to my SHS crush. Whenever there was a difficult task to be done, I took courage and vim from alcohol.

I told her, “I’ve been drinking for the past thirteen years. It would be very difficult to stop it at once, but because of you, I will try.”

I set goals for myself. I wouldn’t drink when I knew I was going to meet her. I wouldn’t drink on weekends, though it was very hard. My social life had become so small, so it helped me stay sober. She was observing. Sometimes my throat itched so hard I hid and drank something. When she caught me, I was honest about my weakness. She understood me and requested more transparency.

It took me over a year before I could go a whole month without drinking anything. I knew I was winning. I was resolute. Life was boring. The world couldn’t spin like a carousel to give me joy again, but looking at my girlfriend was enough for me. One day, I realized I’d gone a whole three months without drinking. I told myself, “I’ve won. This is it. I will make it six months, then I know I’m whole.”

While I was going through all these changes, my heart was also changing. There were a lot of things that brought me joy when I got drunk. Once I was no longer drinking, those things no longer brought joy. Unfortunately for me, those things included my girlfriend. I no longer find her beautiful. She doesn’t excite me the way she used to. I asked myself why I was determined to marry her. “She’s not that great? Why am I allowing her to take my joy from me?”

The whole love I have for her is gone. What was pushing me to marry her as soon as possible has relented, leaving me and my head to decide for myself. Some days I want to tell her she should give me space to think through things, but I know that will break her into pieces. She has invested a lot in me: trust, dedication, love, and her hope. She sees me and she’s proud of what she has been able to achieve. She sees a successful project in me.

I have her to thank for everything I am now. I’ve stopped drinking for now. I don’t know what will take me back, but what I know is that she’s not the one I want.

If there was another lady in the picture, I would have blamed myself for looking at another woman. There’s no one on the horizon. She’s the only one I call a girlfriend, but the love is no longer there. Everything is ordinary now, and I need to take a break from it all.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

How do I communicate this so it wouldn’t break her into pieces? She has plans, and in the plans, she’s going to say yes to marriage, and we are going to marry before this year ends. How do I look at her innocent face and tell her, “No, I’m no longer into this marriage project. I need a break?” Please tell me how.

—Obed

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*****

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My loving husband and I have been married for some time now, and together we have four amazing children. They are so important to us. Four kids. Biologically, I have three with him. The fourth is his daughter from a previous relationship. He and his ex-girlfriend, the baby mama, broke up a long time ago.

You know how exes sometimes try to weave their way back into your life? Well, she tried. But it didn’t succeed, because what God cannot do simply doesn’t exist. I hear she has moved on, married, and is building her own family now. But her child, my husband’s daughter, stays with us, alongside my own children. We are a loving family; no trouble there.

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My problem, however, is a different kind of trouble. It lives in the small, daily moments of our home. My husband is always…well, raw around the edges. Naked, to be plain. He walks around the house completely naked. When he’s going to bathe, he’s naked. When he brushes his teeth, he’s naked. On the toilet? You guessed right, naked. We live in a self-contained apartment with two bedrooms, but we all share one washroom. The building only has one. He is naked in the bedroom, in the hall, and when bathing. And when he baths, he doesn’t even close the bathroom door. So if you pass by, you see literally everything.

Now, another layer has been added to this worry. My stepdaughter is fourteen years old, and she is walking in the same character. Like father, like daughter. She goes to the bathroom naked too. Around the house, she often wears only pants and a bra. I have told her several times to use a cloth, a robe, anything to cover herself when she goes to the bathhouse, but she doesn’t listen. She prefers to go naked. This scares me. My other children are watching, and they may learn from this. I am so worried it has given me sleepless nights.

A little more context: ours is a distance marriage because of my work as a nurse. When I am away, I send my three younger children to my mom’s place for care, while my stepdaughter stays here with her dad. This arrangement, paired with the nudity, makes me deeply uncomfortable when I’m gone. I don’t want to think the worst. Maybe there is nothing going on at all. But should a father see his teenage daughter’s nakedness? Should she see his? Shouldn’t there be some sort of boundaries? I ask myself, is my husband that kind of man? I don’t know. The wondering is a heavy weight.

I have spoken to my husband about this several times. He turns a deaf ear. I even asked his brother to talk to him, but it proved futile. The silence on his end is a wall.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

So here I am, asking not just as a wife but as a mother protecting her nest: How do I solve this? How do I speak to him in a way that finally makes him hear me, without it shaking the foundation of our family? How do I guard my children’s sense of modesty and safety? How do I install boundaries where the doors themselves have been left open?

—Mavis

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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Three weeks after we broke up, my phone rang and I saw her name. I almost did not pick it, but curiosity got the better of me. When I answered, her voice was calm in a way that made me suspicious. She said she was pregnant. According to her, it might have come from our last encounter before the breakup.

We broke up because she cheated. Not rumors. Not assumptions. I had evidence. I saw messages and timelines that did not add up. I confronted her and she denied it like her life depended on it, but I knew what I saw. I knew what I read. I knew the truth. I walked away angry, hurt, and humiliated, telling myself I was done for good. So when she called to say she was pregnant, my first reaction was disbelief. My second was anger.

I told her plainly that I did not believe the pregnancy was mine. She insisted it was. She said, “You can do a DNA if you want to be sure, but it’s yours.”

That sentence alone burnt every hope I had in me. Everything feels like a setup. It feels like I am being dragged back into something I escaped from with my sanity barely intact.

I told her the truth as I knew it then. I was not ready to be a father. I said it clearly and without sugarcoating. I told her that even if the child turned out to be mine, I would not be available to take care of it. I told her she should decide for herself and also be ready to bear the consequences alone.

I did not promise marriage. I did not promise support. I did not promise presence. I told her exactly where I stood. In my mind, honesty was the least cruel thing I could offer in that moment. Then days later she called again, this time sounding distressed, saying she needed money to get rid of it. I paused. I hated myself for even being in that position. But fear has a way of loosening principles. I gave her the money. Not because I wanted her back. Not because I trusted her. But because I wanted the situation to end. I wanted peace. I wanted finality.

After collecting the money, she called again and said, “I’ve changed my mind. I’m keeping it.” At that point, something inside me snapped. I felt played. I felt used. I felt trapped. I had done what she asked, only for the goalpost to be shifted again.

I told her, “Keep it, but don’t later come and accuse me of being a deadbeat father. I don’t want to be close to you or anything that’s close to you, so you can keep the baby and be solely responsible.”

Those words did not come from cruelty, but from a man who felt cornered by a situation he did not create but was now being forced to own. She is determined to have the child. She says it with conviction, like this is her final card. And I know how things work here. If the child is proven to be mine, the law will not care about how the pregnancy happened or the emotional mess behind it. I might be pushed to take care of the child regardless of my readiness or my consent.

That thought terrifies me. I hate the idea that my first experience of fatherhood could be tied forever to someone I consider manipulative, a cheat, and very selfish. I know those words sound harsh, but they come from lived experience, not bitterness alone. I saw how she lied with ease. I saw how she twisted narratives. I saw how she took no responsibility until it suited her. The idea that this person might be permanently connected to my life through a child makes my skin crawl.

I replay everything in my head again and again. Our last encounter. The breakup. The timing. The confidence with which she insists the child is mine. The casual way she talks about DNA as if it is just another bargaining chip. I ask myself if this is punishment for loving the wrong person or for staying longer than I should have.

A man is already judged the moment a pregnancy is mentioned. You are guilty first, explanations later. If I walk away, I am heartless. If I stay, I am trapped. If I wait for DNA, I am irresponsible. If I demand peace, I am selfish. There is no version of this story where I come out clean in the eyes of people who were not there when the betrayal happened.

I am angry, yes, but I am also scared. Scared of being tied for life to chaos. Scared of losing control over my future. Scared of waking up one day and realizing that one bad relationship determined the rest of my life.

I hate that she gets to change her mind so easily while my own choices feel like they are being erased. I hate that I tried to be honest and was still cast as the villain. I hate that I gave money in good faith and it was turned into another weapon. Above all, I hate that I am now forced to think about fatherhood in the middle of emotional wreckage instead of joy, stability, and love.

This is not how I imagined my life. This is not how I wanted my story to begin. And yet here I am, asking myself a lot of questions. What options do I have now regarding this issue? Because walking away feels impossible, staying feels like a trap, and trusting her feels like self-betrayal. I know I will forever hate myself if this girl bears my first child, not because the child would be unwanted, but because the situation is poisoned at the root.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I do not want her anywhere close to my life, yet the law, society, and circumstance may decide otherwise. So I ask you reading this, what do I do going forward? I wish I didn’t have to wait to do a DNA test. I wish it ends here so I don’t have to be tied to her in even just a day.

—Osibo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "She, Got, Pregnant, After, Broke, and, Now, Says, the, Baby, Mine", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/80934.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/she-got-pregnant-after-we-broke-up-and-now-says-the-baby-is-mine/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-08 06:04:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "138592", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Abortion Remains Legal in Wyoming After State High Court Strikes Down Bans", "title_slug": "abortion-remains-legal-in-wyoming-after-state-high-court-strikes-down-bans", "title_hash": "a7a8b8e4831918b22f8317e6aacea6a0", "summary": "Wyoming Supreme Court rules two bans passed by state lawmakers are unconstitutional.\nThe post Abortion Remains Legal in Wyoming After State High Court Strikes Down Bans appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The Wyoming Supreme Court on Tuesday ruled that the state’s two abortion bans are unconstitutional, preserving a hotly contested right amid a push by legislators to end the practice in the Equality State.

In a 4-1 decision, the court agreed the bans conflict with a 2012 amendment to the Wyoming Constitution that protects individuals’ rights to make their own health-care decisions. That amendment, ironically, was enacted by voters after a push by conservatives in the same legislature that’s since made repeated attempts to curtail abortion.

“A woman has a fundamental right to make her own health-care decisions, including the decision to have an abortion,” the ruling states.

“The State did not meet its burden of demonstrating the Abortion Laws further the compelling interest of protecting unborn life without unduly infringing upon the woman’s fundamental right to make her own health care decisions. As such, the Abortion Laws do not constitute reasonable and necessary restrictions on a pregnant woman’s right to make her own health care decisions.”

The ruling represents a victory for abortion rights advocates in one of the nation’s reddest states. They contend abortion bans conflict with the state’s long history of skepticism toward government involvement in medical and other personal decisions.

“This ruling is a victory for the fundamental right of people across Wyoming to make decisions about their own lives and health,” Julie Burkhart, president of Wyoming’s only facility that provides abortions, Wellspring Health Access in Casper, said in a statement. “Our clinic will remain open and ready to provide compassionate reproductive health care, including abortion, and our patients in Wyoming will be able to obtain this care without having to travel out of state.”

For abortion opponents, the decision is a bitter setback that indicates an abortion ban would require changes to the Wyoming Constitution—a more difficult hurdle than a simple majority vote in the Republican-dominated statehouse.

Constitutional amendment

Even so, Gov. Mark Gordon immediately called on the Wyoming legislature to set a constitutional amendment into motion during the upcoming budget session, which begins next month.

“It is time for this issue to go before the people for a vote, and I believe it should go before them this fall. A constitutional amendment taken to the people of Wyoming would trump any and all judicial decisions,” Gordon said in a Tuesday statement lamenting the high court’s decision.

If lawmakers pass a resolution to amend the constitution, it would be up to voters to approve it in the 2026 election. Speaker of the House Chip Neiman, R-Hulett, told WyoFile on Tuesday that he and Sen. Cheri Steinmetz, R-Torrington, have already begun working on legislation that would pave the way for voters to decide on a constitutional amendment.

Gordon reiterated his disappointment with the decision in a Tuesday interview with WyoFile.

While the ruling “happened probably a few years later than I would have hoped it would have,” Gordon said, he said he was also relieved that it came ahead of the session, so that lawmakers will have the opportunity to place a constitutional amendment on the ballot.

“Ultimately, I feel that it’s important to put in front of the voters,” Gordon said.

The governor also responded to some lawmakers and other public officials who, in the wake of the decision, attacked the judicial branch and questioned its legitimacy because the justices are appointed.

“If all you have is a hammer, you know, everything is going to look like a nail,” Gordon said.

In recent years, lawmakers have expressed an increasing interest in changing the process for choosing the state’s judges.

“Obviously people are going to have strong views about it. I get that, and I understand that. But there’s more that the judicial system does than just abortion issues,” Gordon said.

The governor also announced Tuesday afternoon that the Attorney General’s office, per his request, will file a petition for rehearing on the decision.

Legislative history

Wyoming’s once vaunted live-and-let-live political ethos for years thwarted legislative attempts to restrict abortion. That began to change in the years before the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark 2022 decision overturning Roe v. Wade, which had guaranteed abortion rights in the U.S. since 1973.

In early 2022, Wyoming lawmakers passed a trigger law that banned abortion with Roe’s fall. But that ban did not go into effect due to a court challenge that centered, in part, on Wyoming’s 2012 constitutional amendment.

In 2023, Republican lawmakers in the legislature tried again, this time succeeding in passing two abortion bans. One was a fairly comprehensive prohibition that included only a few notable exceptions, such as in the case of rape or incest. A second law banned medication in abortions—the first law of its kind in the nation.

A group of abortion providers and advocates challenged the constitutionality of the bans, and Teton County District Judge Melissa Owens temporarily blocked them as the case played out.

Finally in November 2024, Owens ruled the bans were unconstitutional. The state, which was represented by the Wyoming Attorney General’s Office, appealed the decision to the Wyoming Supreme Court. The justices heard arguments on the case in April.

In the meantime, Wellspring Health Access in Casper has provided abortions for women in Wyoming and neighboring states. The facility was targeted by an arsonist before it opened and later became a plaintiff in the legal challenges to the growing number of abortion restrictions passed by state lawmakers, including mandatory ultrasounds and a 48-hour waiting period passed earlier this year.

A state judge in April halted enforcement of those two laws while a separate challenge proceeds, concluding they “affect a fundamental right expressly provided for by the Wyoming Constitution.” It remains to be seen what bearing, if any, the high court’s ruling will have in the ongoing case.

Justice Kari Gray was the dissenting vote in the case while Justice John Fenn authored a concurring opinion. Meanwhile, retired Justice Kate Fox participated in the case’s consideration and decision since she heard the case, per state law and the Wyoming Constitution.

The Supreme Court’s decision

Like the district court, the high court “focused on a single issue,” the ruling states.

The question at hand: “Do the Wyoming laws restricting abortions unjustifiably limit a woman’s state constitutional right to make her own health-care decisions?”

Article 1, Section 38 of the Wyoming Constitution—the health-care-related amendment—stood at the heart of that question. And there were two ideas the court was unanimous on.

“All five Wyoming Supreme Court justices agreed that the decision whether to terminate or continue a pregnancy is a woman’s own health-care decision protected by Article 1, Section 38,” the ruling states.

The court unanimously concluded that an adult’s right to make his or her own health-care decisions is a “fundamental right because of the very specific language used and because that language was put in a section of the Wyoming Constitution called the ‘Declaration of Rights.’”

The justices, however, “took different paths in analyzing the case,” the ruling states. The majority opinion, for example, was reached two different ways.

Three of the court’s justices—Lynne J. Boomgaarden, Robert C. Jarosh, and Kate M. Fox—set out to determine whether the state proved the 2023 abortion laws “were written as narrowly as possible to achieve the State’s interest in protecting prenatal life” and whether “the abortion laws were the least burdensome way the State could achieve that goal without unjustifiably restricting a woman’s constitutional right to decide whether to terminate or continue a pregnancy.”

Those justices concluded that Wyoming did not present sufficient evidence to indicate that the laws met that threshold and therefore “the majority held that those laws are unconstitutional.”

Justice Fenn agreed with that conclusion. However, he “arrived there by relying on a different test using only the words from Article 1, Section 38.” Ultimately, Fenn concluded that Wyoming failed to prove the abortion bans were “reasonable and necessary restrictions” on the constitutional right to make one’s own health-care decisions.

Meanwhile, Justice Gray relied on that same language, but wrote that she would refer to the Wyoming legislature when deciding whether the abortion restrictions were “reasonable and necessary.”

Ultimately, the court voted 4-1 to strike down the 2023 abortion laws.

“The court recognized it cannot add words to the Wyoming Constitution, that’s not its job,” the ruling states. “But lawmakers could ask Wyoming voters to consider a constitutional amendment that would more clearly address this issue.”

WyoFile is an independent nonprofit news organization focused on Wyoming people, places, and policy.

The post Abortion Remains Legal in Wyoming After State High Court Strikes Down Bans appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"future$ Pulling girls home can be dicey. What do you discuss? How do you avoid cold feet? Future projection & role-plays to the rescue for all your pulling needs!

Last year, in the first installment of my dogged follow-up series, Robby requested the following:

\n\n\n

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They may not be as popular as Apple or Samsung, but they’ve got a roster of devices that cover a wide variety of needs, and they tend to be both less expensive and just as capable as their better-known rivals – and they also won’t lock you into a single ecosystem, but allow you to use both Apple and Google phones with equal ease.\nRELATED: Best Running Watches\nGarmin’s devices also have one major advantage over their better-known competitors: they’re not afraid to specialize. The Apple Watch is great, don’t get us wrong, but it’s also very large and heavy, even in its smallest form factor, and especially when compared to the lightest Garmin trackers. Assuming you’re going for a long distance run, which would you rather have on you: the device that does everything you need but weighs more than it needs to, or the lightweight device with the same great feature set?\nIt doesn’t stop at the form factor, either. Garmin makes specialized devices for distance runners, outdoor adventurers, swimmers and even golfers. Read on to discover some of the best Garmin devices available today.\nGarmin fēnix 7X Pro\n\nHybrid athletes, fitness junkies, and endurance runners, the Garmin fēnix 7X Pro might be the ideal watch for you. Featuring a large, bright 1.4\" display with a built-in Power Sapphire solar charging lens to maximize battery life and energy return, this beauty runs 24/7, comprehensive health and wellness monitoring, tabulating multiple variables to give you a concise and accurate picture of your wellbeing, covering everything from your sleep quality to how well your body is acclimating to altitude changes.\n$999.99 at Amazon.com \nGarmin Forerunner 255 (Music Edition)\n\nIf money is no object and you want a hyper-capable smartwatch with excellent build quality and a full feature set, pick up the music-enabled version of the Garmin Forerunner 255. You’ll pay a bit more for the ability to download up to 500 songs straight to your watch, allowing you to ditch your smartphone without sacrificing your favorite tunes, but we think that trade is totally worth it. Additional features include an always-on, full-color display, contactless payments, excellent GPS tracker, heart rate variability and sleep tracker, and adaptive workout suggestions to help you successfully balance your training and rest.\n$399.99 at Amazon.com \nGarmin vivosmart 5\n\nIf you’re working on a tighter budget or just want a more compact, simplified fitness tracker, something that will take up a lot less wrist real estate, check out the vivosmart 5. It doesn’t have built-in GPS but can piggyback off of your phone’s GPS to help you track runs and walks, while its fitness and health monitoring features are all top-drawer, including the standard workout & sleep assessments, plus respiration, hydration and menstrual cycle tracking. The whole process is also gamified, so you can “level up” by beating your previous scores – improving your health and fitness in the process.\n$149.99 at Amazon.com \nGarmin Approach S62\n\nIf you’re a golfer, you know how important a good caddy can be. Club selection, distance gauging, wind readings, course layout info – the Garmin Approach S62 may not be able to carry your clubs for you, but it can do just about everything else a caddy can do. We love the vibrant, 1.3” color display, excellent battery life, and more than 41,000 pre-loaded course maps. And when you’ve completed your 18 holes and want a post-game drink at the clubhouse, the contactless payment system will help you take care of the bill.\n$499.99 at Amazon.com \nGarmin Forerunner 55\n\nIf you’re an outdoor runner and want an inexpensive way to track and map your runs, we strongly recommend the entry level Garmin Forerunner 55. It’s got incredible battery life (up to 20 hours with the GPS activated), dedicated workout tracking, respiration tracking, and even active pace guidance, so you can use the watch to help you discover your ideal speed to complete a run.\n$199.99 at Amazon.com \nGarmin epix Gen 2\n\nIf you’re really an avid outdoorsman, and not some weekend casual, forget the Apple Watch Ultra and pick up the Garmin epix Gen 2. You’ll get an always-on AMOLED display, a massive battery capable of up to 30 hours of GPS service or 16 days of minimal use, and multi-band GNSS connectivity to deliver pinpoint accuracy, wherever you are. Skiers and hikers can take advantage of the preloaded maps of over 2,000 ski runs and hiking systems, \n$629.99 at Amazon.com \nGarmin tactix\n\nIf you have the coin to spare and want absolutely every bell and whistle packed into a nigh-indestructible form factor, the aptly-named tactix is the smartwatch for you. Built-in solar charging enables up to 48 days of battery life, while a pin-point-precise GPS ensures you'll never get lost, even in the deep wilderness. Outdoor adventurers, this is the Garmin for you.\n$1,399.99 at Amazon.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\nBest Cheap SmartwatchesBest Fitness TrackersBest Watches Under $500", "keywords": "Best, Garmin, Devices", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-garmin-devices/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1767711088.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-garmin-devices.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-07 04:53:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "138164", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What the Hell Is Ashwagandha and Why Are Men Swearing By Its Health Benefits?", "title_slug": "what-the-hell-is-ashwagandha-and-why-are-men-swearing-by-its-health-benefits", "title_hash": "8103bc57cbac1bc98f40f41f1e681661", "summary": "Clearer Thinking, Stronger Muscle Contractions & Enhanced Libido? Sign Us Up", "content": "If you’re anything like most people, your medicine cabinet has slowly evolved from a collection of skin and hair care products into something resembling a witch’s potion cupboard, filled with trendy (and hard-to-pronounce) herbs, vitamins, roots, enzymes, and minerals, all offering the hope of improved wellness. Nutritional supplements like elderberry and echinacea have long been the rage in a multi-billion dollar industry that touts immunity-boosting, metabolism-enhancing, and anxiety-reducing health benefits, but every year, a different ingredient, promising something amazing, takes the spotlight. And 2023 is, unsurprisingly, no different. \nRELATED: Best Vitamins for Men With Low Sex Drive\nEnter ashwagandha: the latest “it” product to burst onto the scene, popular especially among men thanks to its bold claims to not only combat anxiety, but also increase testosterone levels and improve semen quality. \nTo break down the miracle that is the ashwagandha plant and its impact on nutrition and your overall well-being, we chatted with Jackie Topol, MS, RD, a registered dietitian who works with clients virtually across the country. Topol has integrated ashwagandha into some of her patients’ diets and all for good reason. Here’s why.\n\nWhat Is Ashwagandha?\n\n\nWithania somnifera, marketed with the much-sexier name of “ashwagandha,” is an evergreen shrub that grows in India, the Middle East, and Africa. In the health world, it is classified as an “adaptogen,” meaning its primary purpose is to reduce stress levels and anxiety. Through studies, these “herbal medicines” have also proven to be “neuroprotective, anti-fatigue, and antidepressive,” making it a great all-natural supplement to support overall mental health. \nAshwagandha supplementation has been used as a form of alternative medicine for thousands of years. It is safe to consume, though anyone should “speak with a dietitian or doctor to discuss the right dosage” prior to incorporating it into your daily routine, advises Topol. \n\nGeneral Benefits of Ashwagandha\n\nReduce Stress and Anxiety \n“People are turning towards more holistic remedies to manage stress and anxiety,” says Topol. “Studies suggest that ashwagandha may help reduce stress and may also reduce stress-related weight gain through decreasing cortisol levels.” This win-win has made it an ideal alternative to prescription antidepressants and benzodiazepines, which aim to either balance emotions or calm your brain. In fact, results are so promising that its sales make it the third most popular herbal supplement in the country, only after CBD and elderberry. \nPotentially Decrease Tumors\nWhen evaluated as a chemopreventive agent with anti-tumorigenic properties, ashwagandha shows somewhat promising signs; though this study is the first to divulge that more research is needed before making such swift assumptions, especially since most positive outcomes came from lab rats as test subjects. \nBoost Brain Function\nIf you’re looking to fine-tune your motor skills without crossword puzzles and eating salmon, some studies are proving that ashwagandha may provide a bump in cognitive performance. “For focus, concentration, and memory, ashwagandha has been shown in many studies to enhance all aspects of cognitive function,” reveals Robin DiPasquale, ND, in her Natural Medicine Journal study. \nLower Blood Sugar Levels\nWhile many studies are still in exploratory stages, there’s hope that ashwagandha may be able to lower blood sugar levels. This was particularly relevant when the extract was derived from the ashwagandha root and not the leaf, due to its high flavonoid content. Flavonoids, found mostly in fruits and vegetables, are naturally-occurring phenolic compounds that help to lower blood sugar levels and reduce the chance of developing diabetes. \n\nRELATED: Best Fertility Vitamins and Supplements for Men\n\nAshwagandha Benefits for Men\n\nIncrease Testosterone and Sperm Quality\n“Small studies have found that ashwagandha can increase testosterone levels and improve sperm count, volume, and motility,” says Topol. For men looking to start a family, this could have positive implications when it comes to fertility and conception. For men who are more concerned about the sex and less concerned about fatherhood, it may boost libido and assist in treating erectile dysfunction. \nIncrease Muscle Mass and Lower Body Fat\nLooking for #gainz in the gym? You may actually be in luck. Ashwagandha has also shown to increase muscle mass, reduce body fat percentages, and even lower cholesterol, making it one of the go-to supplements for athletes, especially bodybuilders. \n\nBest Ashwagandha Products\n\nWhile you should always consult a medical professional before integrating any new product or supplement into your diet, these high-quality Amazon products boast both positive reviews and positive results, making them some of our personal favorites. \nKOS Organic Ashwagandha Powder\n\n\nFor those who want ashwagandha in its purest root form, opt for powder, which can easily be added to smoothies, oatmeal, and protein shakes. KOS is a proven industry leader and, in partnership with Feeding America, will donate one meal to someone in need with every purchase. Now that’s an investment you can feel even more good about. \n$23.66 at Amazon.com\nCalm Gummies\n\n\nA gummy vitamin or dietary supplement is not only beneficial for your health, but delicious, especially in Calm's mixed berry formula. Add GABA, B6 and L-Theanine to your ashwagandha and you've got a winning combo in lowering stress over time. Pop a couple in your mouth throughout the day, as needed, and take a few deep inhales and exhales. You should feel at least a bit more relaxed and ready to tackle whatever is on your busy agenda. \n$27.95 at Amazon.com\nAgobi Organic Ashwagandha Capsules\n\n\nYou may not want another dietary supplement to add to your medicine cabinet, but at 5200mg, this ashwagandha supplement packs a punch and only requires one serving a day. As with any new supplement, remember to always ask your doctor about proper dosages. Too much or too little may ultimately prove to be ineffective, though the presence of ginger and black pepper in this iteration of an ashwagandha supplement should assist with absorption.\n$15.99 on Amazon.com\nOrganic India Calming Tulsi Herbal Ashwagandha Tea\n\nCaffeine-free, this ashwagandha tea is the optimal beverage to sip on when you want to settle your body and mind before catching some Zzzs. Thanks to its blend, including organic Tulsi (holy basil) this tea has a nicely balanced flavor, mild a little earthy and a touch of citrus.\n$9.99 at Amazon.com\nHERBAMAMA Ashwagandha Root Extract\n\n\nAlcohol-free and an excellent sleep aid, there is something to be said about this potent ashwagandha extract that only requires a few drops on the tongue before bed. In fact, many customers have been swapping the ever-so-reliable CBD and melatonin for the “nutty, sweet” stuff to ensure more restful nights. \n$25.99 at Amazon.com \nRELATED: How to Boost Your Immune System\n\nWhat Are Ashwaghanda’s Side Effects?\n\nIt's important to only purchase ashwagandha root extract, ashwagandha tablets, or any other product you come across from trusted distributors and determine a dosage that's right for you. Side effects can include “nausea, headache, drowsiness, stomach ache, and diarrhea or loose bowel movements,” warns Topol, though it is generally considered safe. \n\nAshwagandha Alternatives\n\nStill not convinced? If for whatever reason you're not on board with consuming ashwagandha extract, ashwagandha powder, or an ashwagandha capsule, Topol is a huge fan of magnesium, which can also help in managing stress levels. Luckily for you, there are several foods that are jam-packed with the magnesium and it happens to be vital for maintaining normal blood pressure, fortifying bone strength, and keeping your heart rate steady. These include dark chocolate, avocado, nuts, and tofu.\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Multivitamins for Men\n\tBest Melatonin Supplements\n\tFoods That Fight Stress", "keywords": "What, the, Hell, Ashwagandha, and, Why, Are, Men, Swearing, Its, Health, Benefits", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/what-the-hell-is-ashwagandha-and-why-are-men-swearing-by-its-health-benefits/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1767725131.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/what-the-hell-is-ashwagandha-and-why-are-men-swearing-by-its-health-benefits.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-07 04:53:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "137972", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Another Man’s Girlfriend Is Asking Me to Fornicate This Easter", "title_slug": "another-mans-girlfriend-is-asking-me-to-fornicate-this-easter", "title_hash": "d981169192e04aacf49add0f67342e46", "summary": "The girl I am talking to wants us to fornicate this Easter. I met a final-year Nursing student through my sister. We became friends and I even went ahead to …", "content": "

The girl I am talking to wants us to fornicate this Easter.

I met a final-year Nursing student through my sister. We became friends and I even went ahead to propose to her. She has told me a lot of things. Her name, of course. Her favourite colour, favourite shoe, favourite course, which is even giving her trouble, all of that. She also mentioned that she is in a relationship with a man. The man barely calls. According to her, it can take days before she finally hears from him.

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Sometimes, she says it can be two to three weeks and they do not talk on phone or chats. He does not know the things that I know. He does not even know how her days go, like I ask her. She says that even when they finally do talk, it does not last long. Like some men in bed, it barely lasts longer than three minutes. She has said a lot of things. He is a very nonchalant man, and that if there was an association for such men, he would be their vice president. And she says she is not ready to give up on that relationship for us to start.

See, I like her. I even love her. I have been very transparent about what I want with her. I want her to take me seriously. But every time, she overtakes our talks with small talk about her relationship. I do not even know how she thinks that is still a relationship. She plants her relationship in our talks.

From her narrative, if you barely communicate and there is no sign of viability, that means there is no relationship. But this madam cannot see things like that. Okay, I agree love is blind, even crazy sometimes. I told her, let me book a relationship counselling session for you with my own money. You talk to someone, a therapist, make your case clear and see what they say. She also declined.

I am a generous person who gives to her most times. I suppose I want to show that I am very capable, right? Last month was her birthday. Even though I live in Accra and she lives far in the north in Bolga, I made orders of gifts and sent money to celebrate her. This month, the 4th, was my birthday. I told her she could act as the birthday girl by talking to my friends at the party. I mean, it is going to be soon so it is better she starts her responsibilities soon. But she declined.

Now she wants us to meet this Easter in a hotel and do everything that lovers do. When I asked her what this was, if it was her way of saying yes to my proposal, she said no, we are still friends.

I told her not to feel entitled to give me her body as a compensation for my kindness. I do what I do because of my genuine care for her. But she said that is not a reason. She is taking notice of the things she wants in her man, she says, and she will not let me know what they are.

We talk throughout the day. Video calls, voice calls and chatting on WhatsApp.

I have not done *it* before, which she is aware of, and I am bent on getting married as soon as possible.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Yesterday, I was trying to decline the offer of going to meet at the hotel but she insisted we meet. She talks a lot about how the bedroom would be fun.

Now I am confused. What at all is this leading to?

—Sterling

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My girlfriend, Alice, is by all standards the kind of woman a man dreams of when he imagines a good wife. She is fair, cute, and truly beautiful. Alice has a brilliant sense of style, always knowing the latest in fashion, which is how she earned the nickname I gave her, “the perfect wife.” She is full of surprises, constantly doing extraordinary things that amaze you, especially for her age. Her mind is filled with wisdom and good ideas, and she speaks with a grace you would expect from someone much older, like the Proverbs 31 woman. In fact, you could say she is one.

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She is amazingly intelligent. And even more, she cooks wonderfully, is never lazy, and is always ready to do anything to make me happy. She is hardworking, preferring to earn her own money rather than depend on anyone. Yet she is incredibly supportive, so much so that she would give me whatever she has if I needed it urgently. Sometimes her generosity is so great that others take advantage until she senses the danger and quietly steps back.

With all of this, it should be easy to love her and to marry her without a second thought, right? Any man would be in a hurry to make her his. But here is the sad thing. I only pretend to love her. And she has bought that lie so completely that she looks at me with stars in her eyes. I act it so well she hardly notices. I am a very good actor. I play the part of a man in love. I call her often, I initiate all the sweet things, I say the right words.

I have a fair idea why I am playing this game. It might trace back to my first heartbreak as a teenager. Maybe I have not healed as much as I told myself, because I have seen how it has tainted every relationship since. Sadly, Alice is just another victim. I have even tried to force myself to feel something. I have tried to like everything she does, I have read about love, I have prayed over it, but still, nothing. Not an iota of real feeling.

I have faked love for too long. I want to love again, but my heart seems locked, unable to welcome the pure love offered by women I meet, even the good ones. It makes me feel like crying. I would not wish this emptiness on my own sister.

Alice does not deserve this. She deserves my whole heart. I feel ashamed when she tells me she loves me and I say it back, even during our most intimate moments, knowing very well my heart does not beat for her. Fortunately, she does not suspect a thing.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

We have plans to marry this year. How do I get out of this dilemma? How do I find even a speck of genuine love for her? I do not want to lose this good woman. But should I just keep acting?

—Israel

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We started from nothing. We didn’t even have a job when we started dating, but we had love that kept us going each day. We talked a lot about our dreams; get married, have three children, build a three-bedroom house, and be the best parents to our children. We knew these dreams wouldn’t happen on a platter unless we worked at it and also saved a lot of money.

That led us to financial discussions on how we were going to manage our finances when we marry. We discussed everything to a T and even put some of them into writing so we don’t forget easily. I had a job first, and then a year later, he also had a job. All that while he wasn’t working, I was giving him allowances weekly. Something small to help him buy certain things for himself.

When he had a job, we celebrated it the way a country celebrates the winning of a World Cup. He brought his first salary to me to say thank you for being there for him. I said, “Let’s use this to open a joint account and save towards our wedding.”

We did exactly that for a little over a year, but when the time came for us to marry, we didn’t even touch that money because our individual savings could easily help us walk the aisle. A few months after marriage, my husband got a new job that brought him three times his previous salary apart from other numerous benefits.

Life was going to be better than it used to be, we both thought, but right after getting that job, my husband changed. He stopped contributing to the joint account and pushed aside all the financial plans that brought us to where we are now. He takes care of the basic things like rent, utilities, food, and fees for the two kids. When it comes to me, he says I should use my salary to take care of myself.

We had plans to start building, so we bought a piece of land together. Now he’s telling me he’s no longer interested in building in that area, so he’s saving to buy a house in a prime area. That would take him years to do, but in our initial plan, we would build our own house and move in as soon as possible so we stop paying rent.

He’s left me in limbo when it comes to the plans we’ve had for years, even before marriage. Days ago I showed him the ones we put on paper. He said, “That was then. Things are different now.”

He currently doesn’t involve me in anything. He’s buying a new car when our land is growing weeds. He bought the latest iPhone when his phone didn’t have a problem. He came home with an Apple laptop when the office had already given him a new one. The decisions he’s taking these days are very scary, and it feels like he’s driving the whole family into a ditch. But you can’t advise a rich man, so he doesn’t use my opinions for anything.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

What do I do in this situation? I don’t want to take a different financial route when we both had a solid plan. It will take me years to do it alone. I need him to revert to the original plan, but he doesn’t listen to me no matter how I say it.

—Adjovi

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*****

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I ended the year in a hotel room with a man and his wife. For the first time in my life, I kissed a woman while a man was watching us. She kept whispering in my ears, “Can he join?”

I found Annette in an all-female WhatsApp group. For some reason, she always supported everything I said in the group. When she wanted to pick on someone, she would send me a message and say, “Are you online? I need backing. I’m going to fight so-and-so.” I was always ready to support her, just as she was also always ready to support me.

She said she loved my spirit. I said I loved the way she loved me. I never knew she was married. I never knew she was way older than I was—eight years older. I thought I’d found my age mate so I could play silly online games with.

She invited me out one evening and paid for everything. It was an expensive place, so I was shocked at how she could easily afford it. I told myself, “Is that my destiny helper I’ve been fooling with?” When we were about to depart, she told me her husband was coming to pick her up. I was like, “You’re married?” She nodded.

“You’re springing up surprises at me today. Where’s your ring?” I asked. She said we had a lot to talk about, but soon, one sleek car parked outside and she told me, “My husband is here. Would you like to meet him?” “Of course I would like to,” I answered.

She texted for the man to come in and this young-looking man walked in. If you compare the two, you might say Annette was older. He kissed her on the cheeks before saying hello to me. Annette introduced me as, “The friend I was telling you about, Kuukua.” He shook my hand and we called it a night. She ordered Bolt for me and paid for it.

I was so happy with what I discovered. I needed help in life and I thought—in fact, I believed—the help would come from this couple. I’d completed school without a job. I was relying on my boyfriend for everything, and because of that, he treated me anyhow, knowing I couldn’t leave him. He even told me, “If you leave me, you would starve to death.”

It hurt my pride and broke my confidence into pieces, but he was right. When I met Annette and her husband, I knew I was going to ride on their favor to get a job. Annette has always been free-spirited. She talked to me freely about the crazy things she did with her husband. I would call her in the morning and she would tell me, “I can’t get up. My legs are frozen. Philip didn’t take it easy on me last night. A marathon, paa.”

She invited me to also share my sex life: who I was dating and the dynamics of our relationship. I told her about my boyfriend and how he couldn’t do the things I desired as a woman. She asked, “So why are you still with him?” I answered, “I will starve if I leave him.”

We both burst out laughing, but it helped. It changed the conversation to jobs and why every woman should have her own. I told her I was looking for a job seriously and she told me she would tell her husband about it and see if he could help.

One morning, Annette called. She gave the phone to her husband and we talked for over thirty minutes. I understood why the two were a great couple. He had the same crazy mind Annette had, very jovial and made every situation look funny. He said, “I will help you find a job. A beautiful lady like you shouldn’t starve. Not at all.”

Annette would send me GHC1,000 and say, “It’s from Philip. He says you shouldn’t starve.” I would escort her to town to shop and she would tell me to pick whatever I wanted. If I told her I hadn’t eaten, she would order food and send it to me. Because of them, I walked with my shoulders high, without an iota of respect. They were doing more than my boyfriend could ever do and still didn’t shame me or tell me I would starve without them.

I jumped whenever Annette asked me to jump. She could ask me to cross the road and I wouldn’t watch left or right. I would just cross, believing no car was coming. She told me, “My husband has a crazy thing on his bucket list he wants to cross out before the year ends. He says he wants to watch me get intimate with another woman.”

I was like, “How? How is that something to put on a bucket list?” She answered, “As if you don’t know Philip. He’s always looking to do the crazy things.” I asked if she was going to do it and she whispered, “It sounds like fun, don’t you think so?”

I didn’t think so, but I responded, “It will look weird, especially when he’s there watching you do it.”

I was being recruited, but I didn’t know it. Each time we talked about it, it sounded more normal than it had the previous day, until I began feeling it was a normal demand. She said, “I think Philip likes you. The way he talks about you, he wouldn’t mind if I do it with you while he watches.”

Annette would tell me to jump and I would ask how high, but this one sounded far-fetched. I asked, “And you’ll also agree to do it with me?” She answered, “Why not? You’re beautiful and the only person I can trust under the sun. It would be better with you than anyone else.”

She sent me money and sent photos of lingeries I should shop for, and even showed me the perfume I should wear that day. I was going to do it for her because she had become everything I had, and because of her, I could let my boyfriend go and still not starve. She picked me up on the 31st of December night when I should have been in church thanking God for another year. She drove us to the hotel where Philip was already waiting.

She kept whispering in my ears, “Can he join?”

I looked at Philip sitting in a chair a few inches away from the bed. He was ready for us. He was only waiting for me to say yes. I nodded, and before the sound of fireworks went up to welcome the new year, we had already welcomed ourselves into the most ungodly thing I’ve ever done in my twenty-five years of existence.

They were so happy they started drinking after the act. I crawled slowly out of bed looking for something to cover myself and maybe my shame. I entered the bathroom, trying so hard to arrest my conscience so it wouldn’t come at me. Philip sent me money my bank account has never seen before and thanked me for making a dream come true.

I’m starting a new job tomorrow. Yeah, he made that possible too, but I don’t know if I’m happy about anything currently. The way I’d looked for a job for this long, this opportunity should blow me to the moon, or I should be all over social media talking about it, but I can’t even tell my parents that I have a new job. It’s something that came from something. I didn’t work to get it on merit. I don’t even know if I will do well, but the salary is good and it’s a new start for me.

I still have Annette. She’s still a good friend. We talk as if nothing happened, but I don’t know what the future has for us—that’s what scares me. What will be the next crazy thing to do? Would I have the courage to say no when the time comes? What happened on the 31st won’t happen again—that I’m very sure of—but what next?

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

That’s what keeps me awake at night, and since I can’t share this story with anyone in my life, I’m putting it here in the wild to free some space in my head so I can breathe again. Feel free to judge me. Call me any name. Put my name in the same sentence as the devil. I deserve it. It will help my next step a lot and maybe shape my decisions for the next step in life.

—Laura

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*****

", "keywords": "How, Ended, The, Year, Hotel, Room, With, Man, and, His, Wife", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/33035.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/how-i-ended-the-year-in-a-hotel-room-with-a-man-and-his-wife/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-07 04:39:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "137968", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m Dating a Married Woman Because it’s My Fault She Married the Wrong Person", "title_slug": "im-dating-a-married-woman-because-its-my-fault-she-married-the-wrong-person", "title_hash": "d77de6fcc2112eae89061b463193f283", "summary": "Years ago, Alby was a lady I liked, but I couldn’t tell her because she was way out of my league. She dressed like a woman I couldn’t afford. The …", "content": "

Years ago, Alby was a lady I liked, but I couldn’t tell her because she was way out of my league. She dressed like a woman I couldn’t afford. The places she went, the food she ate, the kind of people she moved with were all scary. I looked so small when I thought about her life and mine, but I liked her. I was crushing on her from a distance.

We talked when we met in church. At home, we didn’t say much to each other. One day, Nicholas, a friend of mine, snitched on me to her that I said I loved her. She came to ask if it was true. She wasn’t even smiling. I said, “Don’t mind Nicholas. He’s lying.”

From that point on she called me “my husband” and I also responded, “my wife.” The relationship between us was better than before, but I couldn’t lose my fear of her, so I didn’t propose. Years went by, we grew up in different directions and traveled to different places. I heard she was getting married. My friends teased that I’d allowed my wife to marry someone else. I wasn’t there, but I wished her well.

Five years later I went back home and saw Alby again. She still looked beautiful but mature. She has a daughter and is very much married. She was very happy to see me and I was too. We started talking again; how she called me ‘my husband’ and how I called her my wife. We are older now and nothing to fear, so I told her, “What Nicholas said was true. I was madly in love with you but couldn’t say it. You were way beyond my budget.”

I thought she was going to find it amusing, but she texted back, “It’s all your fault I’m in this terrible marriage. Why didn’t you say it? When I asked you, I was ready to say yes to you but you lied.”

We talked all night. I told her it was for the best that we didn’t end up together. “I didn’t have anything, so it was not likely we would have been together.” She answered, “Even if we didn’t, I could have used you to avoid what I’m in now.”

She called her marriage terrible and abusive in every way. The man she married is way older and because of that, she doesn’t have a say and a life in her marriage. They’ve tried to divorce twice and are just hanging by a thread.

One evening we agreed to go out. It was a bad idea, but I wanted to do something to make her happy. She asked if she was still beautiful. I said yes. She asked if I would consider her if she wasn’t married. I wanted her to be happy, so I said yes. She responded, “It’s not a good marriage I’m in, so we can start something if you’re serious. Maybe you’ll help me to leave.”

I said no. I said I didn’t like to share. I told her she should get her divorce first and be ready for whatever comes her way. She told me, “He hasn’t touched me in almost a year. I’m here with you all night. Why hasn’t he called? That should tell you the kind of marriage I’m in.”

I tried my best that night. I even blamed her action on the alcohol, but days later, she was in my room. She didn’t tell me she was coming. I tried my best to disarm the situation, but it didn’t work. She got me. She was stronger. She knew where to touch and what to show me to get me to act. I told her, “Please let’s not allow this to continue. You’re a married woman. It ends here.”

Currently, I’m the one calling for it. I’ve left town for my permanent place. As I write this, she’s been here twice in two months and whenever she was here, it was fireworks. She’s the socket and I’m the plug. We fit perfectly, and when we hug, we don’t want to separate. She tells me she wants to divorce. I tell her she can’t divorce because of me.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

The way things are going, and the way the fire is growing wild between us, I’m scared we will burn. So I’m pulling away gradually. It hurts her and it hurts me too, but it’s the best for the two of us. I’m going to leave this place when my rent is due soon. I’m going to change my number if possible. One of us has to hide so the other can’t find them. I have to be the one, so I’m doing just that.

—Fabian

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "I’m, Dating, Married, Woman, Because, it’s, Fault, She, Married, the, Wrong, Person", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2560.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/im-dating-a-married-woman-because-its-my-fault-she-married-the-wrong-person/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-07 04:39:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "137742", "lang_id": "1", "title": "BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide to Consensual Erotic Violence", "title_slug": "bdsm-a-beginners-guide-to-consensual-erotic-violence", "title_hash": "953fb74ae0ec63d25b67c0b97482a285", "summary": "How to get kinky in 2026.\nThe post BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide to Consensual Erotic Violence appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

If your New Year’s resolution is to expand your sexual horizons in 2026, then BDSM may be for you.

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Perhaps streaming the steamy hit romance Heated Rivalry on HBO has piqued your interest in exploring the subtle sub/dom dynamic of hockey babes Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. Maybe you’ve been reading a romantasy like Sarah J. Maas’ A Court of Thorns and Roses series—with its explicit scenes of abduction and rough sex—and feeling naughty.

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Human sexuality has long included elements of physical aggression and consensual erotic violence.

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“No human society has been found in which violence is absent from sexual relations,” writes psychoanalyst Darian Leader in his book Is It Ever Just Sex?

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Citing several foundational surveys on human sexuality across cultures, Leader concludes: “The word ‘force’ is the single most common verb to describe sexual acts.” Even the ancient Hindu text the Kama Sutra describes several forms of erotic violence.

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All this consensual violence and roleplay can sound ingriguing—and intimidating. So I’ve compiled a handy guide to BDSM for beginners, based on expert advice and my own experiences.

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Step 1: Figure out what you like

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Many people associate kink and BDSM with taboo—as some kind of maladaptive response to trauma. But that’s not necessarily the case, said Nora Gross, a licensed therapist in California who studied BDSM and kink in graduate school.

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Full disclosure: Gross is my friend. She’s also an expert on this subject, so I called her to gain some insight on why people get into violent sex in the first place.

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“First of all, there doesn’t have to be a dark origin story,” Gross told me. “You can like what you like and it doesn’t necessarily mean you experienced something traumatic.”

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In other words, it’s OK to want to add something new into your sex life. To figure out what might meet that need, Gross suggested getting started by “microdosing” kinky, sex-positive creators online.

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Lina Dune is one such sexpert. The creator of Ask A Sub—a podcast, newsletter, and Discord community—suggests wading into BDSM slowly. As you trawl forums, watch videos, listen to stories, tune in to your body. Is something giving you a tingle or a tummy ache?

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“You don’t need to be an expert on every single facet of [BDSM],” Dune says in one podcast episode, “But you do need to be an expert on yourself … you know what bad feels like for you … And at the same time, you know what good feels like for you.”

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Remember: Negative reactions to any particular story of BDSM doesn’t mean the entire BDSM universe is closed to you. That queasy feeling might just be telling you to skip a specific act or context.

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Step 2: Do your research

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Evie Lupine’s YouTube series BDSM 101 demystifies topics like BDSM contracts, the ins and outs of sexual punishment, and what a female-led relationship is.

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For bookworms, S&M 101: A Realistic Introduction, the New Topping Book, and New Bottoming Book are frequently cited on kink forums as useful how-to guidebooks. There’s also Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose, if you’re interested in the why of what drives people towards sadomasochism.

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Many people, including myself, see the 2002 movie Secretary as a romantic and healthy depiction of a dom/sub relationship.

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Step 3: Find a safe play partner

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Finding someone else to explore kink with you may seem paralyzingly daunting. It’s hard to know who you can trust to be your play partner in such intimate scenes—and no one wants to feel the imperious leers of normies judging your desires.

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The sex educator and BDSM lifestyle expert Miss Angela Valentine suggests joining a space dedicated to connecting people who are interested in fetish, kink, and BDSM.

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For her, it was Fetlife, the self-described “most popular social network for the BDSM, kink, and fetish community.” Fetlife is a place for likeminded people to find each other, talk about their interests and adventures in kinky sex, and attend munches—meet-ups between kinksters. Typically, these take place in public, “vanilla” settings like pubs or bars—not sex clubs.

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Feeld is another dating app dedicated to creating “more inclusive spaces online and IRL, where everyone can feel safe to express and explore gender, sexuality, and desire outside of existing blueprints.”

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The app allows you to choose desire tags to help you find people with similar interests, like #BDSM, #Being a Brat, #Being dominant, or #Threeway. I recently used Feeld to meet a sexy Irish man who roleplayed some of my rather satisfying but taboo dom/sub dynamics over iMessage.

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Miss Angela Valentine also recommends finding IRL lifestyle and kink clubs. Many cities, big and small, have spaces dedicated to kink and lifestyle.

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Galleria Domain 2, in my hometown of Chicago, helps maintain a culture of safety by vetting its new members. Prospective inductees must attend a newcomer social and an informational session.

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While BDSM may have a mainstream reputation for being full of scary, leatherclad freaks, my experience is that those immersed in the lifestyle have high sexual literacy and value consent, knowledge, and liberation. For beginners, these “pro kinksters”—Miss Angela Valentine’s term—can serve as BDSM mentors.

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When negotiating and starting a BDSM dynamic with a new person, you can always ask for references from previous partners.

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Step 4: Give it a go

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BDSM can start with something as simple as the classic blindfold and handcuffs set—toys that help you relinquish (or gain!) control to a partner.

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Play with a simple spank on the rear end, using either your palm or a leather paddle. See how many strikes you can take before you feel the sweaty euphoria of subspace.

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As you play, remember that negotiation, hard limits, and open communication are essential. Discuss what you want and what you’re curious about. Flag off-limits acts that you’re pretty sure will be triggering or unpleasant.

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For instance, you might be interested in spanking, slapping, and other kinds of roughhousing—but definitely not interested in being cut or bleeding.

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Once you’ve established trust and boundaries with your play partner, you can let loose within the scaffolding you’ve set up together. The wide world of latex vacbeds, human cages, and electroshock toys awaits!

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Step 5: Check in with yourself

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Once you’ve given BDSM a go, check in on your feelings.

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“Healthy practices demand that you’re connected to your body, your safety, your desires,” Gross said.

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You may find that BDSM isn’t for you. Or you may find that consensual violence has unlocked something inside you.

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Kink is play. Roleplaying necessitates imagination, and it is often kind of silly. Research shows most adults don’t have enough play in their lives, and that more play reduces cortisol levels, triggers the release of endorphins, and sharpens mental acuity.

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Playing is particularly biochemically curative if you’re neurodivergent.

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Autistic people who have sensory issues might experience the sort of light, feathery touch that is normalized in vanilla sex as extremely unpleasant. The heavy touch experienced while engaging in impact play—like spanking or slapping, etc—could feel much more pleasurable.

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Meanwhile, accessing sub space and dom space can put your mind into a flow state. As many Reddit users will attest, it is essentially a meditating practice, which is medicinal for people who have ADHD.

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There’s even some evidence that BDSM practices can be therapeutic for trauma survivors, Gross said. Research on this topic is limited. But the act of reclaiming the feeling of objectification that may have happened during moments of trauma, especially within the safe “container” of a BDSM scene, is “transformative for people who have experienced assault or trauma of all different kinds,” Gross said.

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Whatever your reason for considering BDSM, getting a little naughtier in 2026 could make your life a little nicer.

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The post BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide to Consensual Erotic Violence appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Protecting your peace is more than just a trendy phrase, it’s a meaningful approach to self-care. Here’s what it really means and how to practice it in healthy, grounded ways.

The post Are You Protecting Your Peace or Just Avoiding Hard Situations? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Are, You, Protecting, Your, Peace, Just, Avoiding, Hard, Situations", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/GettyImages-1388343875.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/are-you-protecting-your-peace-or-just-avoiding-hard-situations/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-07 03:31:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136922", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Mingle Like a Pro: 5 Foolproof Steps", "title_slug": "how-to-mingle-like-a-pro-5-foolproof-steps", "title_hash": "9ca51d4adf443abf5da83603d490f9b1", "summary": "How do you move between groups, mingling, and make a big splash in a short amount of conversation? The mini deep dive + 4 more steps are THE way.\nCommenting on my article about finding the most interesting woman (rather than, necessarily, the hottest), Laurent asks:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ How do you move between groups, mingling, and make a big splash in a short amount of conversation? The mini deep dive + 4 more steps are THE way.

Commenting on my article about finding the most interesting woman (rather than, necessarily, the hottest), Laurent asks:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Mingle, Like, Pro:, Foolproof, Steps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/how-to-mingle-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-mingle-pro-5-foolproof-steps", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:19:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136920", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Kitchen Gadgets to Help You Eat Healthier", "title_slug": "kitchen-gadgets-to-help-you-eat-healthier", "title_hash": "cdd46f886b0ea3f32abf3390931776f5", "summary": "9 Essential Kitchen Tools to Help You Clean Up Your Diet & Reach Your Fitness Goals", "content": "Your kitchen plays a pretty serious role in your overall health. Just think about it: If your fridge and cupboards are loaded with junk food, what’s going to keep you from eating it? And if it’s a space you despise being in, you’re probably going to keep ordering takeout. Well, that’s where spicing things up in your kitchen with some new gadgets can really make a difference.\nRELATED: How to Lose Weight by Walking\nHaving the right tools at your fingertips to create healthier meals doesn’t just make the meal prep process easier, it also makes it a lot more fun and can turn it into a routine you’ll actually look forward to. While there are plenty of different tools and gadgets to choose from, you have to be picky: As great as that panini press is, how often are you really going to use it? Instead, focus on creating a space that’s filled with things you’ll use on a regular basis, gadgets that make eating healthy a breeze.\nWhether you want to start with a $20 rice cooker or grab a premium $400 juicer, these are some great options to go with to help you eat better faster.\n\nThe Best Kitchen Gadgets to Support a Healthy Diet\n\nSecura 6.3 Qt. Air Fryer\n\nOne of the easiest ways for any fried-food lover to give their diet a healthier tweak is by purchasing an air fryer. Instead of letting your food soak in a bath of oil, you can get the same crispy texture you love with only a splash: It’s the circulating hot air that perfectly cooks your food. That not only lowers the number of calories and trans fats you’re taking in, but also helps out your health — especially since fried food could put you at an increased risk of diabetes and heart disease.\nWhat to make: You can still make your beloved wings and French fries in an air fryer. But you can also get yourself to eat more healthy food by tossing Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, and other veggies in there, too. You can even make a healthier dessert by trying your hand at making doughnuts.\n\n$43.50 at Amazon.com\nVitamix 5200 Blender\n\n\nA blender is an essential item in any healthy kitchen, but it’s hard to beat something as versatile as a Vitamix. With a more powerful machine, like this model, your options are nearly endless: You can make your typical smoothies as well as dishes like nut butter and soup. In fact, you don't even need to heat your healthy soups up after blending: The friction from the blades will make soup steamy in less than 10 minutes.\nWhat to make: Because of the different speeds that allow for different textures, this kitchen appliance makes it easy to create liquids — such as nut milk and green juice — or whip up a super-smooth dessert, such as a healthy “nice” cream made from frozen fruit. You can even make a healthier pizza at home: The blender is able to knead even the thickest of dough.\n\n$478 at Amazon.com\nHamilton Beach 12-Cup Food Processor\n\nA food processor might not seem like the most important kitchen gadget, but once you have one you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it. The processor can do it all, including helping you majorly cut down on time spent meal prepping, and in the kitchen in general. This option in particular slices, shreds, chops, mixes, and purées produce, is easy to clean, and has a touchpad that makes the process effortless.\nWhat to make: Aside from helping you prep veggies for certain dishes, you can also use your food processor to make homemade nut butters, hummus, oat balls, sauces, salad dressings, and creamy desserts. Basically, it does way more than just chop up produce.\n\n$120.06 at Amazon.com\nHurom H400 Easy Clean Slow Juicer\n\n\nAdding some green juice into your diet — whether that's for a morning snack or a mid-afternoon pick-me-up — is a great way to amp up your daily intake of fruit and veg. (Even the healthiest of people know getting in the recommended daily amount isn’t always easy.) This juicer is a catch for a few different reasons: It's easier to clean and less messy than other models, it’s nice and quiet, and it can juice tricky options such as leafy greens and nuts.\nWhat to make: When you're making juice, stick mainly to vegetables — such as kale and spinach — with a little fruit (perhaps apples or pineapples) if you want to sweeten things up. Or make your own nut milk to use for lattes, your morning oatmeal, pasta sauces, and other foods you love. You can even make pesto, hummus, and ice cream.\n\n$699 at Amazon.com\nRELATED: Best Low-Carb Breads\nPaderno World Cuisine 3-Blade Vegetable Spiralizer\n\n\nThe zoodles – aka zucchini noodles – craze isn’t as strong as it used to be, but that’s no reason to forget about spiralizers. This kitchen tool lets you make your own veggie noodles in just a couple minutes. All you have to do is fasten your produce of choice and turn the handle. If you're trying to add more vegetables into your diet — or you are cutting back on carbs — it's a tool that can help spearhead your healthy cooking routine.\nWhat to make: Veggie noodles work great for low-carb spaghetti or Alfredo nights, and you can also toss them into salads, pad thai, and lo mein. You can even use those veggies to add texture to stuffed peppers, casseroles, and healthy desserts.\n\n$50 at Amazon.com\nInstant Pot Duo Pressure Cooker\n\nIt seems as if everyone has jumped on the Instant Pot bandwagon, and it's easy to see why. This machine can cook meals much quicker than other methods — sometimes up to 70 percent faster, in fact. Plus, you have a lot of options at your fingertips: It's a pressure cooker, slow cooker, and rice cooker, and it can also sauté and steam your food.\nWhat to make: Start with your favorite soups, a healthy recipe take on your go-to takeout order, and one-pot pasta. Also, use it to amp up your plant-based protein intake. It's great with beans, lentils, and chickpea-based dishes.\n\n$109.99 at Amazon.com\nAroma Housewares Rice Cooker and Food Steamer\n\n\nWhile the Instant Pot is great at making fluffy rice, sometimes it’s nice to keep things simple. And that’s where this super-affordable gadget comes in. This rice cooker can cook up to six cups of rice and keep it warm for hours. There's also the option to steam some veggies on top, giving you all the tools you need to cook up a quick and healthy meal with hardly any effort.\nWhat to make: To give your rice some flavor, add in some low-sodium vegetable broth and spices. You can also use it to cook a big portion of oatmeal so you'll have a nourishing breakfast option all week long. It’s also good with other grains, including quinoa, barley, and millet.\n\n$35.19 at Amazon.com\nSodaStream\n\n\nHomemade soda is a delicious, low- or zero-calorie alternative to carbonated, sugary, high-calorie drinks that so many of us are helplessly addicted to. The SodaStream is powered by a 60L CO2 cylinder, allowing you to carbonate one liter of water at a time, to your preferred level of carbonation. It will save you money, calories, and reduce your use of single-use recyclable footprint, too.\nWhat to make: Replace all your unhealthy, sugar-filled sodas with delicious, homemade sparkling water at the press of a button.\n$69.99 at Amazon.com\nNinja CREAMi Deluxe\n\nYou know what's a classic diet killer? Ice cream. Know what else is delicious and difficult to live without? Ice cream. For decades, this was an unsolvable conundrum, but the good folks at Ninja have finally cracked the problem. The CREAMi was made famous by viral TikTok videos showcasing the low-calorie, high-protein ice creams this thing can churn out, which caused people to compete against each other to concoct the most delicious, best-tasting ice creams that are somehow still diet-friendly. Once you buy a CREAMi, you'll never want to drink your protein powder again; you'll want to eat it thick, with a spoon.\nWhat to make: High-protein ice creams, smoothie bowls and milkshakes, of course! Use pre-made protein shakes or add protein powder, milk and low-fat pudding powder to create your own delicious recipes.\n$249.99 at Amazon.com\nPreparing healthy meals doesn’t have to be difficult or time-consuming when you’ve got the right kitchen gadgets by your side. Now, all that’s left is to clear some counter space.\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tHow to Make Veggies Taste Better\n\tBenefits of Sodium Bicarbonate Supplements\n\tBest Energy Drinks", "keywords": "Kitchen, Gadgets, Help, You, Eat, Healthier", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt/kitchen-gadgets-to-help-you-eat-healthier/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1767627663.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt/kitchen-gadgets-to-help-you-eat-healthier.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:19:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136921", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Get Better at Pull-Ups", "title_slug": "how-to-get-better-at-pull-ups", "title_hash": "0086b0bf6c25464336329dd70fea862a", "summary": "What is it about pull-ups that makes them so impressive, and why do so many lifters judge themselves based on how many they can crank out in a row?\nUnlike the squat, bench press, and deadlift – the “big three” of the weightlifting world – pull-ups require a good strength-to-bodyweight ratio. You might be able to squat 500 lbs, but if you weigh 300 lbs, you probably won’t be a pull-up master as well.\nRELATED: How to Get Ripped\nIn other words, total body fitness is a key contributor to your proficiency with pull-ups. It’s not just about how strong your lats are, or how wide, or even how great your grip strength is – although all of these things play a role. It’s also about your body fat percentage, your muscular endurance, and of course your mental grit and tenacity, since pull-up training is grueling work.\nTo help you improve your form and increase your pull-up output, we consulted Brock Armstrong, a certified personal trainer and coach, as well as the host of the Get-Fit Guy Podcast.\nB", "content": "What is it about pull-ups that makes them so impressive, and why do so many lifters judge themselves based on how many they can crank out in a row?\nUnlike the squat, bench press, and deadlift – the “big three” of the weightlifting world – pull-ups require a good strength-to-bodyweight ratio. You might be able to squat 500 lbs, but if you weigh 300 lbs, you probably won’t be a pull-up master as well.\nRELATED: How to Get Ripped\nIn other words, total body fitness is a key contributor to your proficiency with pull-ups. It’s not just about how strong your lats are, or how wide, or even how great your grip strength is – although all of these things play a role. It’s also about your body fat percentage, your muscular endurance, and of course your mental grit and tenacity, since pull-up training is grueling work.\nTo help you improve your form and increase your pull-up output, we consulted Brock Armstrong, a certified personal trainer and coach, as well as the host of the Get-Fit Guy Podcast.\nBrock has an excellent pull-up progression video worth watching:\n\nBut for more in-depth information, read on.\n\nBenefits of Pull-Ups\n\nBrock is extremely enthusiastic about pull-ups, and we don’t blame him. They’re extremely good compound movements that recruit a whole lot of muscle to perform well. As he put it:\n”We, modern-day humans, have lost the need and ability to truly manipulate our body weight on the vertical plane. Regularly doing some pullups (or chin-ups) is the most effective way to regain that ability, not to mention sculpting us some great-looking lats. Pull-ups make us strong enough to climb ropes, scale fences and trees, and of course pull things toward us with ease. In some extreme cases, being able to pull your body up and over something can even save your life!”\n\nHow Can You Get Better at Pull-Ups?\n\nAccording to Brock, the key to perfecting your pull-up is repetition, repetition, repetition:\n“One of the best tactics to use is to install your pull-up bar somewhere convenient and in plain sight so you can do what is called Greasing the Groove with it. This basically means that several times a day you do a few (no more than 5) pull-ups and then move on with your day. This allows your body to get better at pull-ups faster than if you only do them \"to failure\" as part of your upper body workout twice a week. For example, I keep my pull-up bar right outside my office door and make sure to do 5 pull-ups most times that I go by it.”\n\nWhat Are Some Cues for Proper Pull-Up Form?\n\nWe’ve seen some pretty funky-looking pull-ups in commercial gyms, Crossfit boxes, and even playgrounds. Brock shared some helpful tips to correct your form and make sure that your back is doing more of the work:\n\n\t“Always aim to get your chin over the bar (not just by straining your neck) at the top of the movement and then lower all the way down to a dead arm hang on each rep.\"\n\t\"Always try to keep your body in a neutral position.\"\n\t\"And a strict pull-up (or chin-up) does not include any swinging to generate momentum.”\n\nRELATED: What Is Eccentric Training - and Why You Should Start It\n\nHow to Progress If You Can’t do a Single Pull-Up\n\nOne of the things that makes pull-ups so infuriatingly humbling is that many, many people can’t do a single darn one. But that’s OK. Just because you can’t get one rep now doesn’t mean you can’t get one rep one week or one month from now.\nBrock recommends you concentrate your efforts on perfecting the eccentric portion of the lift: “Start with the bar low enough to allow you to keep your toes on the ground can be helpful until you master the movement. Then you can practice the lowering (or eccentric) part of the pull-up movement with your feet off the ground. Doing some pull-up holds can also help you on the road to doing your first pull-up. Remember that part of learning to do a pull-up is neuromuscular (teaching your brain to communicate with the correct muscles) it’s not just about strength, so be patient.”\nAnother option is to use a training partner or band attachments to help reduce your effective bodyweight. A band around your legs or feet will have the same effect as a person holding you up ever so slightly, reducing the movement difficulty while still allowing you to maintain strict form and tax the right muscle groups. \n\nThe Best Pull-Up Bars\n\nWith the right equipment, you can practice your pull-ups almost anywhere, from the inside of a garage to the doorway separating your living room and bedroom – the possibilities are endless.\nSportsroyal Power Tower\n\n\nIf you have room in your garage or barn or basement, this standalone pull-up tower is a great option, enabling both close- and wide-grip pull-ups, as well as a variety of other exercises.\n\n$154.98 at Amazon.com\nPerfect Fitness Multi-Gym Doorway Bar\n\n\nDoorway bars are the cheapest, most accessible option, and this one doesn't require any screws to install. It's also sturdy, well-made, and wide enough to enable a variety of pull-up grip positions.\n$59.99 at Amazon.com\nRogue Monster Flying Pull-Up Bar\n\nIf you already own a rack and want to really upgrade your pull-up capabilities, this offering from Rogue dramatically extends what you can do, including wide-grip pull-ups, flying pull-ups, and handle-bar pull-ups.\n$575 at RogueFitness.com\n\nThe Best Pull-Up Accessories\n\nSUNPOW Pull-Up Assistance Bands\n\nAssistance bands help reduce your effective bodyweight during a pull-up, making the movement easier without compromising your form. They're also easy to progress with, since you can just use a less powerful band as you get more and more proficient with your current option. \nFrom $29.99 at Amazon.com\nGymreapers Steel Chain Weight Belt\n\nOnce you start to be able to do five or more pull-ups with strict form, it might be time to add difficulty, and the best way to do that is with a weighted belt. This model from Gymreapers is both comfortable and sturdy, allowing you to add lots of extra weight without discomfort. \n$39.99 at Amazon.com \nAPEXUP Weighted Vest\n\nAs you get better and better at pull-ups, one of the challenges becomes, uh, finding new ways to make them challenging. \"Progressive overload\" is the name of the game in strength training, and that's difficult to achieve if the only weight you have to work with is your bodyweight. Thankfully, this weighted vest from APEXUP makes it easy to add weight in five-pound increments, so you can keep forcing your body to adapt and eventually make mere bodyweight pull-ups easy.\nFrom $23.76 at Amazon.com\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tBest Dumbbell Back Exercises\n\tBuild a Bigger Chest\n\tBest Exercise Equipment Under $100", "keywords": "How, Get, Better, Pull-Ups", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-get-better-at-pull-ups/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1741097525.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-get-better-at-pull-ups.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:19:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136743", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Think My Girlfriend is hiding National Secrets on Her Phone and It’s Driving Me Crazy", "title_slug": "i-think-my-girlfriend-is-hiding-national-secrets-on-her-phone-and-its-driving-me-crazy", "title_hash": "6ef87893753e164a826ab4e374ec6b8b", "summary": "I started dating her in June of 2025. We met online, right after I moved to her state. With no friends and the quiet depression that can come with a …", "content": "

I started dating her in June of 2025. We met online, right after I moved to her state. With no friends and the quiet depression that can come with a fresh start, I turned online to find a connection. That is where I met her.

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We talked for a long time before finally meeting in person. When we did, she opened up even more. I already knew bits and pieces about her life. I knew she was a baby mama to a man who was completely unreliable.

One day he is a present father, loving his daughter and taking responsibility. The next, he vanishes into thin air. Maybe it was seeing her that made my feelings real, or just all the time we had spent talking. But I knew I liked her. I pursued her, and she said yes.

I am the kind of partner who usually has a habit of checking phones. I have heard too many stories. But with her, I did not even think about it at first. She was so good to me, so open, that it felt wrong to doubt. She knows my phone password, but I never asked for hers.

The problem is, she is secretive with her phone. It is as if she is hiding the country’s national secrets on it.

When she needs to open it and I am nearby, she either walks away, hides the screen, or acts like she wants to crawl under the bed just to type in her password. Sometimes it is a funny sight. Sometimes it is troubling.

Her place is just a stone’s throw from mine, so she is always at my place or I am at hers. If not, she is at work. I find it hard to believe she is cheating. But then why the secrecy?

She has told me everything about her past. She is not on good terms with her baby’s father. I think she is a good girl, unless she is just a very good actress. So what is she hiding? It drives me nuts.

We had an issue one night, and I asked her to please just open her phone for me. To see is to believe the truth. She refused. The next day, she changed her password. I know that very well.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I hate this feeling. Apart from the phone secrecy, everything else checks out for me. She ticks all the other boxes. I have my own plans to figure out her password, but till then for now, I have to just stay calm.

—John

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", "keywords": ", Think, Girlfriend, hiding, National, Secrets, Her, Phone, and, It’s, Driving, Crazy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/9444.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-think-my-girlfriend-is-hiding-national-secrets-on-her-phone-and-its-driving-me-crazymy-girlfriend-is-hiding-national-secrets-on-her-phone-and-its-driving-me-crazy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:05:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136742", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When I Proposed, She Handed Me Her Friend Instead", "title_slug": "when-i-proposed-she-handed-me-her-friend-instead", "title_hash": "9373217ef3fdd53223f833851b72c159", "summary": "I proposed to Vivian because my heart wouldn’t stop beating for her. I’d seen her around. I made her a friend. I called her every day and even went out …", "content": "

I proposed to Vivian because my heart wouldn’t stop beating for her. I’d seen her around. I made her a friend. I called her every day and even went out with her sometimes. When she needed help I was there for her. As time went on, I slowly made it obvious that I was in love with her, but she didn’t catch the bait, so I had to propose.

She said no. It was respectful and calm. She gave me a reason and said she would rather we remained friends than date. I said I could give her time. I would wait until she was ready. She told me it wasn’t ideal and that it was worth my time to look for someone else rather than wait for her.

After that conversation, we couldn’t remain the same though she said we should be friends. We didn’t talk as often as we used to. Once in a long while she would say hello and I would respond. Our WhatsApp conversations didn’t go beyond three threads. Always short.

Days ago she reached out and asked if I’d found someone. I gleefully responded, “No, I haven’t,” thinking she had changed her mind and was coming back to begin a love life with me. She said, “That’s perfect. A friend of mine is looking for a boyfriend. I showed her your photo and she said she would date you in a blink of an eye. Maybe you should consider her. She’s a better person than I am.”

She sent me her photos. She ticked the boxes physically, but I don’t know her and don’t know her character. I asked, “You told her I’m also looking for a girlfriend?” She said yes. I said, “I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I found one and she said no, but I’m not looking.”

Since then, she reaches out each day convincing me to give the other lady a chance and that she would be a better girlfriend to me than she could ever be. I haven’t given her an ear and I haven’t said anything to show I’m interested because, honestly, I’m confused.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Is she testing me? Is she genuinely looking for my interest or the interest of her friend? What’s in it for her that she’s pursuing this agenda harder than she ever pursued what we had? I wish I got to meet that lady under any other circumstances than this. Maybe it would have been different, but this…I don’t know what to think and how to handle it.

—Godfred

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", "keywords": "When, Proposed, She, Handed, Her, Friend, Instead", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/13917.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-i-proposed-she-handed-me-her-friend-instead/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:05:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136741", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Wedding Is Close, but 5 Reasons Are Making Me Want to Pull Back", "title_slug": "the-wedding-is-close-but-5-reasons-are-making-me-want-to-pull-back", "title_hash": "815f8f85eb0c27fcb10af382bc7270d3", "summary": "I met Amoako when I was in the US doing my master’s. No, we didn’t meet in the US. I needed something urgently in Ghana and a friend recommended him …", "content": "

I met Amoako when I was in the US doing my master’s. No, we didn’t meet in the US. I needed something urgently in Ghana and a friend recommended him to me. He was a great help and through that we became good friends who talked on the phone every day. On the video call he was nice and sweet. He cared about me and it felt genuine. So when I realized I was falling in love with him, I called that friend who linked us and asked, “Is he a good man?” She responded, “I know him as a great guy but I don’t know who he would be in a relationship.”

What’s love without some risk, so I decided to give it a try when the time was right. Just when I was about to move to Ghana, he proposed to me. I was very happy for two reasons: that he proposed and the fact that I was on my way to Ghana. I said yes immediately and a couple of months later, I was in Ghana.

He was at the airport waiting for me. He drove me home and that very day, I introduced him to my parents as a boyfriend I met while away. They all embraced him and even advised us on ways to love and keep the relationship going. I’ve been in Ghana for over a year and the relationship had grown to a stage where the next step is marriage.

He hinted at a knocking rite this year and a wedding in the middle of the year, but I can’t help but notice a few things that are waving in my face like a victory flag—except this is not that kind of flag, but a red flag.

Five things…

#1. I get cramps when it’s the time of the month. Nothing I do helps. Painkillers bow before my cramp and medicines that have helped others look at my situation and take to their heels. What helps is a bottle of warm water placed below my abdomen. Many times Amoako has been here when I was going through this severe pain, but he refused to help. Even when I asked him to boil water and put it in a bottle for me he said, “Tell me you want pampering and stop acting like your menses is killing you. Are you the only woman on earth who experiences menses?” He wouldn’t do it. Even when I tell him I’m in pain, he treats it as something normal and even goes ahead to ask me to do stuff for him. Could this be love?

#2. He came home to meet me moody. My mom had said something to hurt my feelings and I was dying to pour it out, but he saw my face, entered the room, and didn’t ask any questions. I acted moody around him all day but he didn’t ask a single question. I could have been angry with him or something he did, but he didn’t bother to ask what was wrong with me. That brought my mind to something I’d ignored in our relationship since it started. He had never asked me how my day was, though I ask him every evening. Am I going to live the rest of my life with a man who doesn’t care about what I’m going through?

#3. He came to visit and saw me in bed. He said, “You’re still in bed at this time of the day? You’re lazy ooo.” I’m never a lazy woman, especially on weekends. I’m more than a machine. I told him, “I woke up with a severe headache and body pains so I’m relaxing for a while.” He went to the fridge and started opening bowls. When he saw the stew he said, “Get up and put some rice on fire for me.” This is a man I told a few minutes ago that I was not feeling well. I didn’t get up. He called me lazy and said I was over exaggerating. “You’re in so much pain you can’t cook rice?” That was his question.

#4. This happened not long ago. I’m still hurting and it’s the last straw that’s breaking the camel’s back. He spent the night at my place and wanted sex, but I had to stay up all night to prepare for an interview the next morning. This was an interview I’d talked about all week because it was so important to me. It would change my career and bring many good things into my life, including a huge salary and off-the-roof benefits. I told him I wasn’t in the mood to give him what he wanted. He asked what I was doing and I told him. He said, “All you care about is work. What about my feelings?” I still didn’t do it. He woke up the next morning wearing a frown, but I was too busy to notice. He was angry I didn’t give him sex.

#5. I went for the interview and this guy to date hasn’t asked me how the interview went. Whether I did well or fluffed my lines. This is the most important step I’ve taken in my career, and he doesn’t care to know how well or bad I did. I expect a loving boyfriend to ask, “Babe, how did it go?” so I could rant my joy or disappointment to him. I expect a loving boyfriend to ask, “So what’s the next step forward?” But the boyfriend I have only cares about himself and wants sex whenever and wherever.

Since we started dating, all I’ve done is love him—love him so much that I made excuses for him. When he said he would call and didn’t call, I made excuses for him. When he’s angry about something I did wrong and doesn’t talk to me for days, I make excuses for him because he’s the man I love and want to spend my future with. I’ve allowed love to cloud my judgment until recently, when I started looking at him in a whole new light.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I know how I want my life. I know the kind of partner I want in my life—not the partner I love but wouldn’t love me back with the same intensity. So I’ve started developing cold feet and asking myself if this is what I want in my home. Definitely no, or I’m overthinking this?

—Melody

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", "keywords": "The, Wedding, Close, but, Reasons, Are, Making, Want, Pull, Back", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2149415985.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-wedding-is-close-but-5-reasons-are-making-me-want-to-pull-back/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:05:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136740", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Live With My Boyfriend’s Daughter but He Doesn’t Act Like Her Father", "title_slug": "i-live-with-my-boyfriends-daughter-but-he-doesnt-act-like-her-father", "title_hash": "42cff75c68704305ae2b5ba886433438", "summary": "My boyfriend called me one late night and told me, “Kira is here. Her mother came to throw her on me and left. She said she was traveling and can’t …", "content": "

My boyfriend called me one late night and told me, “Kira is here. Her mother came to throw her on me and left. She said she was traveling and can’t go with her.” I asked what he was going to do and he said, “I don’t know. She has been crying since.”

Kira is my boyfriend’s five-year-old daughter. He had her with his immediate ex, who had been giving him problems since she was pregnant. They broke up due to her hyper behavior whenever she was angry. She could throw a knife at him without thinking twice whenever she was angry.

When we met, Ato told me about Kira and also told me about Kira’s mom and why they broke up. He told me he was very much involved with his daughter but not with the mother. If I had known right from the start that he had a child, I would have pulled away immediately, but I didn’t know. I only got to know about it when I’d come to love him so much. It wasn’t easy for me to detach myself from him, so as bad as it looked, I kept dating him.

In our relationship over the year, whenever Ato was moody it meant his baby mama was stressing him. It could be about money, it could be about his presence, and when she was angry, she would visit Ato and leave the daughter there. I love kids, so whenever that happened, my heart broke into pieces. I even told him in future when we marry, we would bring Kira in to live with us.

When he called that night to tell me what had happened and said the girl had been crying, I took a taxi and went to his place. I ended up spending the night at his place so I could keep Kira company. The next morning, I got her ready and sent her to school before I went to work.

At work he texted me and said pleadingly, “I want you to keep Kira at your end until her mother returns. She would be safe and sound with you than here with me.”

Actually, I’d already thought about it, so when he said it, I agreed immediately. I went for her from school and brought her to my place. Later in the evening, Ato brought her bag and everything her mother added when she threw her there. He left without giving me any money for her upkeep, but I was hoping he was going to send money the next day.

Since Kira has been here, Ato hasn’t called once to ask, “How is Kira?” If I called him, he would talk to me normally as if Kira didn’t exist. If I found a way to bring her into the conversation, he would find another topic to kill the one we were having about Kira. As if to say, “She’s bad news so don’t bring her up in our conversations.” If Kira was my daughter and he did that, I would be mad, let alone doing it to his own daughter.

He would come here empty-handed and pretend he didn’t know he had to bring something to his daughter. She has been here for three weeks and I haven’t received a penny. I take her to school with breakfast and then also pay her canteen fee. I’m doing it not because of him, but because Kira is a little girl and doesn’t have to go through the kind of hardship her parents are subjecting her to.

When he’s around, he won’t engage his own daughter. He treats her like Kira is my daughter and he’s trying to avoid her. One day I thought, “So if I was the one, is that the way he would have treated my daughter?” That day, I thought about him differently as a man and also assessed the choice of dating a man of his caliber. I asked him, “Are you really sure Kira is your daughter? Maybe you’ve accepted fatherhood responsibilities but you don’t believe she’s yours.”

He asked why I was saying that, and I told him everything. “When did you call to ask about her? I’m a stranger to this kid. You should worry about her enough to know how she’s doing under my roof.” He answered, “I know you’re a good woman and won’t hurt her. Do you think I would give her to you if you were a bad person?”

I asked, “How about money for her upkeep? Have you ever wondered how she’s fed since she’s been here?” He answered, “Ah, but why are you talking as if you regret having her here? You can give her to me if you can’t take care of her. Why all these questions?”

I continued, “You’re emotionally distant from her. Does she come to you when you’re here? Does she even know you’re her father? If you think she’s not yours, do a DNA to confirm your suspicion and stop treating this little girl like she’s an enemy.”

I was so pissed I wasn’t going to let him off the hook. He held the girl’s hand and said, “Bring me her things. I will take her away.”

My motherly instinct couldn’t allow me to do what he asked for. I knew the girl would be worse off with him or wherever he takes her, so I calmly said, “I’m not asking you to take her away. Her mom will come soon and she can leave. I’m only telling you what you ought to do and are not doing. Just change your ways toward her.”

He left my house and I didn’t hear from him for two days. He was angry with me, so he wouldn’t check on me, but what about his daughter? These few weeks have revealed more about him than I’d learned since our relationship started. I now don’t believe anything he has said about his baby mama. He’s the problem. Because of how he treats Kira, I know the kind of man he is, the kind of husband he would be, and the kind of father he will be to our kids. He will be the kind who’s far removed from fatherly responsibilities and emotionally detached from his own children.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Kira’s mom will come very soon. It’s already been a month. If she’s not lying, she should be here in a few days. Once Kira walks out of my door, our relationship ends and I will thank my stars for bringing Kira to live with me so I can witness the future of our present. He’s a bad father. He will be a bad husband, and a man of his kind is not worth any emotional commitment from a woman.

—Nana Akua

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*****

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My boyfriend and his baby mama showed me shege. Whenever I remember how everything happened… mea me tumi hu s3 m’agyimi paa… I know that I am a fool.

I met Emmanuel, also known as Manuel, in 2021 on that blue app called Facebook. He said hi. I responded. If I could turn back the clock? I would have blocked him and hissed at the message. But nooooo, I responded.

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Fast forward, I visited him after six months of talking. I took my time, or? Anyway, six months is enough time to visit someone. Everything was smooth until one day he called to tell me he had gotten someone pregnant and was being forced into marriage. I took the phone from my ear, looked at the name, blinked twice, and put it back to hear what he was saying. I only asked how long he had known the lady. Guess his answer? I was shocked when he said, “Dinah, I’m sorry, I have been with her since UNI.” I didn’t wait for him to continue. I hung up, deleted him, and blocked him.

Then, somewhere around September 2024, this same guy hit me up on Facebook again. And I responded. He was like, “Dinah, I have been trying to reach out to you for years now to explain.” I said, no need, I’m cool! He asked how I was doing, if I had started working, and where I was. I told him, “By God’s Grace I’m working now and I’m somewhere in the Eastern region.”

About a month later, he started making plans to visit me in the East. I didn’t think much of it. Or maybe some pint of love I had for him was still in me. So I allowed him. I gave him directions, and he came.

Immediately he entered my room and saw me; he looked from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet, smiled a half smile, and said, “Eeeiii, you are now a big girl, look at you, you have everything.” Then he looked around the room like some senior on duty checking a dormitory. He told me my things were too much for a lady. He said as a lady working in a different region, I shouldn’t buy lots of things. All I should get is a mattress, a small fridge, and a few clothes. After all that, I told him, “Mr. Man, I have already bought them; there’s nothing to do, and I like how my room looks.” He kept quiet for some time, just looking around.

I asked about his child and the lady. He told me, “Oh, that? It was a lie. The lady lied to me.” I just nodded and said, “Okay.”

Then he started yapping. Or maybe it wasn’t yapping. Maybe it was me thinking that lost love had found me again. He went ahead to tell me he has an eight-month-old child, but they are no longer together with the mum due to certain reasons.

Initially, I didn’t ask for the reasons because I never really cared. He wasn’t my guy. But later I started asking questions because he really wanted to be with me again. This guy told me the lady cheated on him countless times and he had evidence. He played some call records for me to listen. Most of them were awful. The lady was telling another guy he was better in bed than Manuel. I mean, who wouldn’t listen to that voice note and feel sympathy? After listening, I believed him and decided to give it a try.

We started in December. By February, I got to know the said lady stays together with Manuel. How? The lady, Afia, messaged me. She said she’d been seeing my chats with Manuel and wanted me to know they hadn’t broken up, so I should let him be.

I called Manuel immediately to question him. He was like, “Yeah, she is staying with me because I haven’t rented a place for them yet due to high rental prices in Accra, bla bla bla.” Then me, too, foolishly agreed to help him rent a place for the lady. That day, if he could have rolled himself on the road from joy, he would have. He thanked me from morning to evening. “Thank you, thank you, you’re a good woman, thank you.” Oh, and it didn’t stop there. He was telling me how much he loves me. “I love you, I love you so much, more than life itself, more than myself. You’re God’s gift to me,” the whole day.

I was home one Wednesday afternoon when he called to say he had found a room, chamber and hall self-contained. I asked how much he needed to top up, then sent it to him. I didn’t think twice. They say love is blind, but mine was stupidity. Because a few months after the rent, I asked him for 3000 GH to add to my money for a project. He sent it but later asked me to pay back. I did, without complaining.

My company transferred me to Accra. I was so happy because that meant I would be close to him. The long-distance thing was hard. I thought being in Accra meant we would be together a lot. When I would go out with my siblings, I would slip money into his pocket so he could pay. He only paid for outings that were less expensive, while I paid for the expensive ones. I never complained because I was taking almost thrice his salary. I always got him gifts. Agye, a girl in love di3, let me spend on my man.

One day, I went to spend my leave at his place. That was where everything started to reveal itself.

First, I noticed all the shirts and shorts I got for him were nowhere. I asked. His response? “They are in the wardrobe somewhere.” Meanwhile, early that morning I had removed everything from his wardrobe and rearranged them. Oh yes, I forgot to add, I was doing wife material things. So I asked him again. He repeated the same response.

The next day, I saw a children’s iPad and wanted to buy one for his child. I called to inform him. He was like, “Oh, the lady had already bought some for the child.” Later that day, I was cleaning and saw the receipt for the iPad. Do you know the name on the receipt? Emmanuel!

I called him. “Why would you lie about something you bought for your child? How do you think of me? Am I that bad you have to lie about gifting your child?” He said he didn’t know how I would take it because he had been complaining about not having money. I allowed it to slide.

Then I started noticing secret movements. When I visited, he could sit outside for more than two hours. When the lady called, he took the call away. His phone was always on silent. You know that iPhone vibration you don’t even hear when you’re close? That’s what he used.

So I started to ask questions. I was persistent. Until he held his balls, felt they were heavy enough, and told me the truth himself.

“The truth is I am dating both you and Afia, and I have told her I’m dating you both, and she is okay with it.”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I was so shocked I couldn’t utter a word. I was expecting him to say he was cheating, but not with the same person who cheated on him countless times and threatened him with a knife. I asked him, “So who do you really want to be with?” He tells me both of us. He loves us equally and can’t choose, so I should agree. Just imagine!

That was when I realized I was just a tool for him. I told him I can’t deal with such a relationship, so goodbye. He agreed. The funny part? Afia is the same lady he was dating from his uni days.

I really wish I could pay him back. But for my peace, I prefer to just walk away.

—Dinah

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", "keywords": ", Boyfriend, and, His, Baby, Mama, Used, and, Didn’t, See, Coming", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/23921.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriend-and-his-baby-mama-used-me-and-i-didnt-see-it-coming/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-06 05:05:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136524", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sleep Problems and Depression Can Be a Vicious Cycle, Especially During pregnancy—Here’s Why It’s Important To Get Help", "title_slug": "sleep-problems-and-depression-can-be-a-vicious-cycle-especially-during-pregnancyheres-why-its-important-to-gethelp", "title_hash": "745dbb587679f4ffe9193fe38ddf3d96", "summary": "\"Healthy sleep is a necessity for improving your mental health during pregnancy and at all times of life.\"\nThe post Sleep Problems and Depression Can Be a Vicious Cycle, Especially During pregnancy—Here’s Why It’s Important To Get Help appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Imagine you got a rough night of sleep. Perhaps you went to bed too late, needed to wake up early, or still felt tired when you woke up from what should have been a full night’s sleep.

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For the rest of the day, you feel groggy and unfocused. Things that are usually fun or exciting don’t give you the same level of pleasure. You don’t have energy to exercise, so you avoid it. You don’t feel motivated to see friends, so you cancel plans with them. You focus on your rough day as you try to fall asleep that night and start to have anxiety about the next day. Instead of getting the restful night of sleep you need, you have another night of poor sleep. You become caught in a vicious cycle of poor sleep and depressed mood.

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Sleep and mental health problems often go hand in hand. Sleep problems are a core symptom of depression. In addition, there is strong evidence that sleep problems contribute to many mental health disorders, including schizophrenia and post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

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Yet our mental health also affects how well we sleep. Issues such as distressing thoughts and trouble relaxing can make it difficult for people to fall asleep or stay asleep, exacerbating sleep problems.

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These issues are particularly pronounced during pregnancy, when the circular effects of inadequate sleep and mental health challenges can have harmful effects for mothers and their offspring.

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We are a developmental psychologist and a doctoral student in psychology who study sleep and mental health from pregnancy through adulthood. As researchers in this field, we see the impacts of sleep and mental health problems firsthand.

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Sleep and mental health problems are so entangled that it is unsurprising that they can each make the other worse. But it does make treating them more challenging.

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Biology of sleep and mental health

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Researchers and medical professionals know that sleep is essential for the body and brain to function properly.

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Sleep is important for establishing circadian rhythms, which optimize alertness during the day and rest at night. When sunlight fades in the evening, the brain produces more of the hormone melatonin, and your core body temperature drops to promote sleep. When the brain detects sunlight, it reduces melatonin production, and body temperature increases to promote wakefulness.

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Although light and dark are the most important signals to the brain about when you should be awake and when you should be sleeping, other things such as stress, disruptions in daily routines, and social interactions can also throw off your circadian rhythm.

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Circadian rhythms affect other important biological processes, including the body’s production of the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol follows a daily rhythm where it is highest soon after waking in the morning and lowest in the middle of the night. Disruptions in normal sleep can lead to difficulties in daily regulation of cortisol levels, which can have negative effects on mental health and the ability to effectively manage stress.

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Sleep is central to the proper functioning of the immune system, which in turn has implications for mental and physical health. Sleep disturbances have been linked to poorer immune responses against viruses and other challenges to the immune system, making it harder to stay healthy and to recover after getting sick.

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Sleep disturbances also lead to greater inflammation, which is when the immune system’s natural responses become overactive. Inflammation underlies mental and physical health problems, including depression, heart disease, and cancer.

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How poor sleep leads to behavior changes

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Chronic disruptions to a person’s natural circadian rhythm—such as people who work night shifts or who switch between day and night shifts—lead to greater risk for both depression and anxiety.

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Shift work is an extreme example of disrupting the natural pattern of sleeping at night. However, less severe types of sleep problems, such as not getting enough sleep or waking up feeling tired, are also bad for mental health.

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Sleep disruptions make it more difficult to regulate emotions. Having too little or poor-quality sleep make handling everyday stressors more difficult. This is because sufficient sleep is necessary for effective problem-solving, memory, and focusing. The combination of impaired emotion regulation and stress management abilities are a recipe for greater mental health difficulties.

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One key reason why poor sleep and mental health struggles can become so problematic and difficult to treat is that without adequate sleep, it’s challenging to muster energy for healthy activities such as exercise and maintaining social relationships.

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What’s more, when decision-making is impaired by poor sleep and negative emotions, people are more likely to reach for alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy foods to cope with stress. These unhealthy behaviors can, in turn, reinforce the cycle by interfering with sleep.

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Sleep and mental health problems in pregnancy

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These cycles between poor sleep and mental health challenges can be especially problematic during pregnancy.

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Common pregnancy symptoms include nausea, heartburn, back and joint pain, cramps, a frequent urge to pee, and contractions, all of which can make it more difficult to get restful sleep.

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Sadly, around 76 percent of pregnant women report having sleep problems at some point in their pregnancy, compared with only 33 percent in the general population. Relatedly, about 1 in 5 pregnant women in the U.S. struggle with mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

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Our team’s new research, published in December 2025, further establishes these links between sleep and mental health. We found that during pregnancy, mental health problems contribute to sleep problems over time and that sleep problems in turn can exacerbate mental health problems.

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This cycle can also have negative effects on the fetus and on the child after birth.

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Prenatal sleep problems such as short sleep, sleep apnea and restless sleep can lead to preterm births and low birth weight in newborns.

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A large study in Sweden in 2021 found that pregnant women who frequently worked the night shift or quickly shifted between night and day work in early pregnancy showed a three-to-four times greater risk for having a preterm birth. Preterm birth and low birthweight are associated with greater cardiovascular risk in both pregnant people and their offspring.

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Prenatal maternal sleep problems can also lead to problems later in the child’s development. A review we also published in 2025 found that children of mothers who had sleep problems in pregnancy tend to have more sleep problems themselves. Our review also reported that children of mothers with prenatal sleep problems are more likely to develop obesity and have more behavioral problems in childhood.

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Talking to your doctor about these concerns

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In our opinion, it should be standard to screen for sleep problems at medical visits, given the potential implications of inadequate sleep for both pregnant people and their babies.

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If you’re close to someone who is pregnant, consider asking how their sleep is and how they’re feeling. If they note ongoing sleep issues, or emotional or behavior changes, you can ask if they have talked to their doctor.

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They may feel overwhelmed and need support in talking to their doctor or help finding resources. The Sleep Foundation’s website has a list of sleeping tips for pregnant women as well as guidelines for when to speak with a doctor.

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If you are the person experiencing these issues, you can report sleep problems to your doctor and ask for guidance for improving sleep.

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If you’re experiencing difficulties with depression or anxiety, tell your doctor and ask for resources. There are mental health resources specific to pregnancy that can help. You can also find mental health professionals through Psychology Today’s find-a-therapist tool.

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Healthy sleep is a necessity for improving your mental health during pregnancy and at all times of life. $\"The$

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This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Rewire News Group changed some of the language in this article to reflect in-house style guidelines. Read the original article by Jenalee Doom, Associate Professor of Psychology, University of Denver and Melissa Nevarez-Brewster, Ph.D. student in Developmental Psychology, University of Denver. Jenalee Doom and Melissa Nevarez-Brewster receive funding from the National Institutes of Health.

The post Sleep Problems and Depression Can Be a Vicious Cycle, Especially During pregnancy—Here’s Why It’s Important To Get Help appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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We’ve dated for over a year and finally decided we would go and meet her parents so she does the formal introduction to them. She sent me a list of things we should buy, which I understood because we can’t go and visit them empty handed.

I had my own budget of GHC1,000, which I was not going to overspend. Now, she’s trying to make me buy all the things on the list, which are way beyond my budget. That aside, she wants me to put GHC500 in an envelope and give to them when we get there.

I told her my budget and told her I couldn’t spend more than that. She got angry, saying, “You’re visiting your future in-laws and all you’re planning to spend is GHC1,000?”

Nanka, how much should I spend?

This is not knocking, ooo. It’s not the engagement. It’s just a visit to say hello to them and introduce myself as the one dating her. That’s all. Now she’s telling me I’m not ready for the visit so I should hold on until I’m properly ready.

I told her, “I’m fully ready. We go now or never.” She answered, “So be it.”

Because of this, she’s giving me attitude. What’s wrong with me cutting my coat according to my material? Or am I being stingy?

—Alfred

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Stingy, For, Not, Overspending, Her, Parents", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/freepik__adjust__29744.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/am-i-stingy-for-not-overspending-on-her-parents/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-05 08:36:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "136115", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Christian Girlfriend Only Loves Me When I Give Her Money, Otherwise Things Fall Apart", "title_slug": "my-christian-girlfriend-only-loves-me-when-i-give-her-money-otherwise-things-fall-apart", "title_hash": "faba1b086dd90c2449f31ce9ccc776c1", "summary": "For the past two years, I have been dating this amazing woman. It has been a good experience. We have our good days and our bad days, but all in …", "content": "

For the past two years, I have been dating this amazing woman. It has been a good experience. We have our good days and our bad days, but all in all, we thank God. We are both Christians and have been praying earnestly about the issue of marriage. So far, so good.

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But there is an issue that makes me very uncomfortable. It is how she is financially unable to sort herself out. I do not know if she is being stingy; you know, some people can be like that, or if it is something else. She comes from a family with about seven older siblings, who I believe should ordinarily share the responsibility for her upkeep. But honestly, I do not know what truly goes on in her family.

The main concern is this. Whenever she asks me for money and I am unable to give it to her, she goes deaf and dumb. My madam will not talk for days. She will not respond to calls or texts. Sometimes it can last for weeks. And when the silence finally breaks, she acts as though she does not owe me an apology for disappearing. She behaves like she is actually entitled to a percentage of the money I make.

On some occasions, I am the one who has to call just to make sure she is okay.

This behavior has happened more times than I can count. We can be getting all loved up, looking into each other’s eyes with so much light, being lovers, and then bam, as if some spirit enters her. When she asks for money and I do not provide it, all her power buttons switch off for me. She withdraws emotionally.

Meanwhile, if I dare surprise her with gifts or give her money, she joins the angels in heaven to sing Hail God. She is happy, all sweet and everything.

Recently, she did it again. Just recently. On the 30th of December 2025, she asked me urgently for money for something she needed. You know how money vanishes during this festive season. I was unable to give it to her. People, up till now, let me even count the days, six days now, she has not responded to any of my messages or calls. Not even one.

I am also a young man still trying to build my life. I am 28, going on 29. I do not come from a wealthy background, and I am working very hard to run away from poverty. I wish with everything in my heart that she would understand and work with me on this.

She is a tertiary student, and while I understand her needs, university can be pretty expensive. I believe her financial responsibility should fall heavily on her parents, the ones who brought her onto this earth, or even her elder siblings. Not with me, a child of God hustling, especially since I am not married to her yet.

I am very uncomfortable and confused at the same time. It feels like this relationship is based solely on what I am able to provide for her. It feels very transactional, rather than built on mutual support and understanding. Apart from our commitment and the promise we share as Christians, there seems to be little contribution or effort from her side.

As Christians, we maintain our boundaries. We do not engage in physical intimacy, and I respect that deeply.

However, it troubles me that when financial support is not available, she steps back and acts like a stranger.

I am struggling to understand whether this behavior is a serious red flag or simply one of those challenges that can occur in relationships.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I am probably thinking I am the wrong guy for her right now.

I am torn between staying and hoping things will improve with time and guidance, or walking away to protect my peace and future.

Please, I sincerely seek your counsel on this matter. Is this a red flag? Should I stay and deal with it with her? I mean, we are humans with flaws, right, or should I go?

—One

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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$\"direct$ Should you approach women direct? Or indirect? This guide breaks it down – and gives you heaps of tools to sniff out girls ready to go then and there.

This post by Ratata, our post of the month for January 2026, originally appeared on our forum here.

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", "keywords": "Direct, vs., Indirect:, How, Turn", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/direct-vs-indirect-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/direct-vs-indirect-how-turn-it-11", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-05 06:21:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135673", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fast Workout Formats for Big Results in Less Time", "title_slug": "fast-workout-formats-for-big-results-in-less-time", "title_hash": "d2b71cad0019ea03cddc987ca4d8169d", "summary": "Chase Your New Years' Goals Without Spending Hours in the Gym With These 6 Workout Templates", "content": "Short on time? You don’t need an hour-long block on your calendar to work out. You don’t even need a gym membership. But you do need a plan. Bench-pressing for half an hour isn’t the best use of your limited time to exercise. Instead, focus on short, intentional workouts. They can be as — or more — effective than longer sweat sessions. And they help you stay consistent with your workout routine. \nAskMen asked elite trainers to share their favorite fast-yet-impactful workout formats to help you build muscle, burn fat and get in great shape. Whether you’ve got less than 10 minutes or 30-40 minutes to spare, the following workouts are designed to help you train smarter when life is busy.\nRELATED: How Often Should You Be Weight Training Each Week?\n\n1. Full-Body AMRAP (As Many Rounds As Possible)\n\nTrainer: Nic Wilson, F45 athlete\nWhat it is: A high-intensity circuit format that has you repeating a set of movements for as many rounds as possible within a certain timeframe. There’s no official rest period, so you’re just giving it your all while the clock is on.\nWhy it works: “It hits all major muscle groups, blends strength with cardio and keeps your heart rate up the entire time. The AMRAP format creates built-in intensity. Your body doesn't have time to coast, and your mind stays engaged,” says Wilson. \nHow to do it:\nSet a timer for 20 minutes. Cycle through the following exercises and complete as many rounds as possible. \n10 push-ups15 air squats10 dumbbell rows (each arm)20 mountain climbers10 burpees\n\n2. EMOM (Every Minute on the Minute)\n\nTrainer: Ashley Parker Angel, co-founder and head coach of High Level Science\nWhat it is: One move per minute. You do your reps, then get to rest for the remainder of the minute. It’s a great format for beginners who want to build stamina.\nWhy it works: “These build focus and stamina and can be done in just 20 minutes.They can be done with no equipment at all so you can hit them standing next to your desk at the office,” says Angel. Plus, the format encourages a good balance between rest and effort, which helps you progress over time. \nHow to do it:\nEach minute, perform one movement, like squats or push-ups. Do a specific amount of reps — say, 12 reps if you’re training for strength. Whatever time you have left in the minute is your rest time. Continue for 20 minutes. \n\n3. Superset-Based Circuit\n\nTrainer: Ashley Parker Angel \nWhat it is: Two or three exercises performed back-to-back. You usually combine upper and lower body moves or push and pull ones, which complement each other.\nWhy it works: Supersetting maximizes your time in the gym (or at home). You’re working multiple muscle groups back-to-back without getting overtired. It’s a great strategy to build muscle and lose fat. \nHow to do it:\nPair compound moves like rows and presses or squats and lunges. Perform them in a circuit-style format with minimal rest. Aim for three to four rounds. \n\n4. Tabata Intervals\n\nTrainer: Ashley Parker Angel\nWhat it is: Tabata is a classic form of high-intensity interval training (HIIT). The interval is short and intense, which helps you stay motivated when you’re tempted to give up.\nWhy it works: Tabata training improves conditioning and spikes metabolism in just four minutes. “This is my favorite way to torch body fat quickly and effectively. These [intervals] will build conditioning fast and put your body in fat-burning hyperdrive,” adds Angel. \nHow to do it:\nChoose a movement like jump squats, burpees or mountain climbers. Perform 8 rounds of 20 seconds of work, followed by 10 seconds of rest. Total time? Four minutes. But you’ll feel it afterwards. \n\n5. Compound-Unilateral-Isolation Move Circuit\n\nTrainer: Charles Toliver, certified personal trainer at Planet Fitness\nWhat it is: Toliver’s signature strength-training format. It mixes and matches various types of lifts to get you more results in less time.\nWhy it works: “This style of training is so effective because it hits the three critical pillars of success: Volume, intensity and consistency,” says Toliver. “There are enough total reps and sets to drive growth. It’s focused effort, not wasted movement. And it’s short enough to stay consistent, even on a busy schedule.” \nHow to do it:\nThis 30-40 minute workout is structured in four purposeful phases. Do 3-4 rounds of 10-12 reps per move.\nCore Activation (e.g., planks, leg raises or bird dogs): Activating the core improves posture, stability and overall performance.Main Compound Movement (e.g., dumbbell press, goblet squat): This is where you build strength and power with the most bang-for-your-buck exercises.Unilateral Strength Movement (e.g., Bulgarian split squats, single-leg RDLs, single-arm rows): These fix imbalances, challenge stability and help prevent injury.Accessory Isolation Exercise (e.g., flys, curls, glute bridges): A focused finisher that zeroes in on specific muscles to build definition and endurance.\n\n6. Seven-Minute Full-Body Circuit\n\nTrainer: Jesse Ramos Jr., NASM-Certified Personal Trainer and ISSA-Certified Health Coach\nWhat it is: A short circuit with minimal rest that keeps your heart rate up and works your entire body. It makes for a great hotel room workout too.\nWhy it works: “This format keeps your heart rate up and hits multiple muscle groups efficiently. It’s great when you’re short on time, especially in a fast-paced city environment. You can scale it by increasing rounds or intensity, and using a timer ensures structure and accountability. It’s simple, effective and powerful. And it creates an afterburn effect that keeps you burning calories long after.” \nHow to do it:\nPerform 30 seconds of work, followed by 10 seconds of rest. \n4 sets of squats4 sets of burpees or lunges4 sets of high knees\nThese trainer-backed workout formats prove that you don’t need long workouts to stay fit. They’re flexible enough to adapt to your routine, preferences and the equipment you have access to. The best workout is the one you’re going to stick with, and they give you the tools to do just that. \nYou Might Also Dig:\n The Right Way to Bulk and CutHow to Get Ripped in 2025How Stretching Can Make You Stronger", "keywords": "Fast, Workout, Formats, for, Big, Results, Less, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fast-workout-formats-for-big-results-in-less-time/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1767372299.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/fast-workout-formats-for-big-results-in-less-time.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-05 06:21:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135500", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Was Meant to Stay For Only One Night But Now She Owns My World", "title_slug": "she-was-meant-to-stay-for-only-one-night-but-now-she-owns-my-world", "title_hash": "705df57af1cb74f7474c3ed17275e3cc", "summary": "She’s a hookup girl I patronized when loneliness wanted to kill me. There were four girls there that night, but immediately I saw her the connection was instant. I asked …", "content": "

She’s a hookup girl I patronized when loneliness wanted to kill me. There were four girls there that night, but immediately I saw her the connection was instant. I asked how much for a short time and she mentioned it, but I ended up engaging her all night. I got her number and started calling her whenever loneliness wanted to finish me.

One day she told me, “It’s different with you.” I responded, “Yeah, it feels the same way with me. There’s a connection when it comes to you.”

I patronized her until she stopped charging me. She would come when I hadn’t called her. She would spend the night and loneliness would be far from me. One day she asked if she could cook something for us to eat. Another day she stayed to make the house a home. She told me, “If you could support me, I would stop going out and be a better person.”

She wants to sell. She has saved something and needs a push. She also wants to learn event organizing. She said she was once with an ushering agency, so she knows a little about that. I don’t have so much, but my spirit tells me I should dig deep and help.

Yesterday, I asked her to make enquiries. I promised her that I don’t have it all, but I would do my best. She understands me and has also promised to work hard. Now my problem is trust and the many ‘what ifs’ that come to a man whenever he wants to commit to something: “What if she goes back to business and wastes my money?” “What if after everything she finds another man?” “What if one day when all is well, we meet a former customer of hers?” What if…

Feelings are pushing me in this direction, I know, but I’m asking, what are the pros and cons of keeping a woman to yourself when she once belonged to the world? Do they stay? Do they keep their words? Would these feelings one day disappear and make me feel like I’ve wasted my time and money? A fish and a bird in love—will it ever work?

—Babylon

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*****

", "keywords": "She, Was, Meant, Stay, For, Only, One, Night, But, Now, She, Owns, World", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/109110.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/she-was-meant-to-stay-for-only-one-night-but-now-she-owns-my-world/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-05 06:07:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135499", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Sister and Brother Plotted to End My Life Because of My Business", "title_slug": "my-sister-and-brother-plotted-to-end-my-life-because-of-my-business", "title_hash": "12a9fe391bca99950203e5097119637e", "summary": "I traveled to China to study. While here, a friend from Ghana reached out that she was buying wigs from China but wasn’t sure of the suppliers, so I should …", "content": "

I traveled to China to study. While here, a friend from Ghana reached out that she was buying wigs from China but wasn’t sure of the suppliers, so I should help. I laughed at her. “Do you think China is like Makola? From my place to Xuchang where the suppliers are is like making a pilgrimage to heaven.”

But she didn’t stop pestering me, so I agreed to help her. When I got there, I discovered how cheap wigs are. I took my time to get the explanation so I could deliver exactly what she wanted. Right after that transaction with my friend, a business idea was born in me. I started making noise on my WhatsApp status, telling my friends I could ship whatever they wanted for cheap prices.

I got people asking for cosmetics, kitchen wares, kids’ stuff, and even auto parts. Business was good, but I didn’t want to end there. I wanted to own my own shop in Ghana and run it for extra money, so I called a friend and asked him to do a business registration for me. When he was done, I called my elder sister to look for a shop for me. The idea was to get a shop, hire attendants, and run the shop through them.

My sister said, “Are you crazy? Why am I your sister? I can run the shop for you.”

Whenever I shipped containers for people, I added my own, and my sister received them into the shop. When she sold them, she sent the money through an account so I could buy new stock. From 2023, I shipped a lot of things to her, and she accounted for each of them. I was paying her, but later decided to share ownership with her. After all, what are sisters for?

When I decided to branch into selling auto parts, I involved my elder brother. I came to Ghana and looked for the shop with him. I paid for everything and handed the shop over to him. It started slowly, but by 2024, that side of the business had also picked up. My brother was even giving me pressure and disturbing my sleep because of customer demands.

I was living in China but doing business in Ghana. I had completed schooling long ago, so I decided I would eventually go home and manage my businesses. It was better for me to travel to China once in a while than live in China and do business in Ghana. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming to settle. They all thought it was one of the visits I do and later go back.

I didn’t want to interfere with the flow of business. I asked questions. I did the order online when I needed to restock. I started handling the money myself. That was when things started changing. My brother kept asking when I was going back. When I asked about sales, the answers were not straight to the point, especially from my brother. I was mostly at the shop my sister managed, so I got to see everything that happened and also interacted very well with the two ladies there.

Later, the ladies also started hiding information from me. My brother was the first to report me to my parents, saying I’m taking his business from him and that that wasn’t the agreement we entered when the business started. I was so angry when my dad called to talk about it. “Agreement? He said we went into an agreement? What agreement?”

Then my sister followed, challenging my decisions and setting aside my opinions. “What’s happening?” I asked her. She answered, “What do you mean what’s happening?”

So I decided to kick them out and start everything afresh. These two now have money. My brother owns his own house and drives a Benz. My sister too has two cars she runs as Uber and is now building a house. But ask me what I have? Nothing. All I’ve done is invest my money into the business they are running.

One morning, I went to work and saw a trace of some whitish substance like powder. It looked like someone poured a powder on my seat and later cleaned it but couldn’t clean everything. I didn’t sit in the chair that day. My sister acted jittery around me all day. I saw the same thing around my car and a few days later, at the entrance of my house.

I thought I was becoming paranoid. I went to sleep and saw nightmares. It was either I was being chased by a mob while my siblings stood aside and watched, or in the dream, I had eaten something and was vomiting blood. My mom has that divine instinct when it comes to these issues. I told her about it and she said, “Come home. It doesn’t look good.”

My mom said the enemy was close, but she didn’t mention anyone’s name. I knew it was those two siblings of mine. She said, “Don’t go ahead of yourself. You’ll make a mistake.”

My dad took me to his pastor, and the man didn’t mince words. He told my father, “You should know where the problem is coming from. It’s your other kids who are ganging up against her. Young lady, don’t go back to where they are. You might lose your life.”

A week later, I traveled back to China, and ever since I’ve been here, none of my siblings have called to ask my whereabouts. One day, I got so sad and angry and confused I stayed in bed and cried like a baby. “My own siblings want to end my life because of a shop?”

I called my dad and told him, “Those two will die before me. They should wait and see.” My mom called to tell me she was talking to them and we had to come together again, blah blah blah.

I sent guys to close the shops. My brother was screaming, “Who told her the shop belongs to her? Where was she when I was sweating to build this?”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

My sister didn’t say much. She didn’t even put up a fight when I told her I was taking her to court. She vacated the shop and gave the keys to my dad. It’s my brother who is fighting and telling people that I’m trying to end his livelihood. He’s determined to fight, so he hired a lawyer. I’ve also hired one. He doesn’t know what is coming from the skies; he would have worn a metal helmet. You want to kill your own blood because of a shop.

—Godwina

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*****

", "keywords": ", Sister, and, Brother, Plotted, End, Life, Because, Business", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/214228.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-sister-and-brother-plotted-to-end-my-life-because-of-my-business/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-05 06:07:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135498", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Read My Wife’s Chat With Our Pastor’s Wife—Our Marriage Has Never Been the Same", "title_slug": "i-read-my-wifes-chat-with-our-pastors-wifeour-marriage-has-never-been-the-same", "title_hash": "6b6a753c3b52c9c1d705c7f67b332cd3", "summary": "My wife used to work with our pastor’s wife until she got a new job and left. They’ve been very close since then. I know my wife talks to her …", "content": "

My wife used to work with our pastor’s wife until she got a new job and left. They’ve been very close since then. I know my wife talks to her on spiritual matters and they pray together. There have been times when we had issues and my wife invited her in to resolve the issue. I respect the woman a lot. She’s not too older than I am. Maybe three or four years older, but I look up to her like a son looks up to his mother. We call her Mommy out of respect. Not only me and my wife, but everyone.

Not long ago, I realized my wife was talking to her a lot more than usual. I would see her on the phone and she would say, “It’s Mommy.” I would see her laughing while chatting and she would say, “It’s Mommy who’s making me laugh.” After church, she would be with her while I go home alone.

Yes, they were close, but it wasn’t this kind of close. If we were having marital problems, I would have concluded it was because of that. But our marriage had been stable. No fight. No quarrel. No suspicion. What we used to fight about, we no longer did, so what were they talking about?

One night, I picked up my wife’s phone and went straight to the messages between them. It was about my wife’s boss. My wife said, “I didn’t know I was this weak emotionally to look at another man this way.” Mommy responded, “You’re human, so weakness is part of the package. You need to intensify your prayers.”

“Her boss? She started working there a few months ago, so what’s the issue with her boss?” I went further and further until I read where she said, “Today, it was very close in his office. Mommy, I think I have to resign and look for a new job.”

My wife had fallen for her boss and their relationship was beyond professional. Mommy asked her to list the things she found in him that she didn’t find in me. She later wrote, “Nothing except he looks better physically.” Mommy responded, “So you see, it’s the spirit of infatuation pushing you to sin and later lose the beautiful things God has given you in your marriage.”

While reading all that, my heart was aching. My hands were trembling. I dreaded finding out later that my wife had slept with her boss. That would have killed me. Luckily, I didn’t read that. But I couldn’t help the anger. Why would my wife of six years, the mother of my two children, act this childish in front of her boss? I lost a little grace for her and the pastor’s wife.

I could see Mommy was trying her best, but I believe she should have brought me in at some point, especially when my wife said she nearly did the unthinkable in his office. I was fuming because I, as a man, have not gone through anything like that since we got married. I have a wife at home, and this notion ends everything even before it starts.

I placed the phone down but couldn’t sleep. All night I was angry and conflicted. The little voice in my head whispered, “Do you think if it happened she would be bold enough to tell Mommy? Who knows, she’s already sleeping with him.”

This got me more furious, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I’ve read her messages. Today I want to. Tomorrow I tell myself it wouldn’t solve the problem. The result now is insecurity. When my wife is late from work, I call and query her until she’s home. No excuse matters. Nothing she says changes my mind. One day I told her, “Tell your boss to stop misbehaving or else you’ll stop the job.”

She asked, “What do you mean? Did I say he’s misbehaving?” I had to think fast and respond, “Is he not the one giving you extra work to delay your closing time?” She responded, “I haven’t mentioned my boss here, but you, it’s OK.”

Insecurity is eating me up, and because of that, everything annoys me these days. Last Sunday after church, I followed her to see Mommy. I told her, “Today I want to be part of the counseling and prayer sessions. I also need God.” They laughed, but what I said wasn’t a joke. Eventually I had to excuse them, but my heart was so angry I wanted to scream, “I know what you two are about.”

The last message I read before my wife deleted her messages between herself and Mommy, she told Mommy she was going to resign because it was like fighting temptations in the midst of temptations. Mommy agreed and told her she should block every access to him right after resigning, and she said OK.

What tickles my curiosity in this whole issue is that my wife doesn’t have a single chat between herself and her boss. That only means she deletes them. If she does, then why? What is she hiding?

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

It’s been over a month since she agreed on resigning, but she hasn’t. Maybe she’s looking for a new job first, but my question is, should I come in at this point? Don’t you think my wife knowing that I know will speed up her actions to resolve the issue?

I feel Mommy is over-pampering her. I expect some insults and reprimanding here and there, but that doesn’t happen. It’s the reason my wife is not acting fast to solve the problem.

What do you think? Should I?

—Johnson

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I spent four full years at university, and not once did a guy ever approach me on my way to class to ask for my number. Not the boys in my classes. Not the guys from my hostel. When they did talk to me, it was to ask me to link them with my friends, or my course mates wanted information for an assignment.

I am 31 now, and the currency is still the same.

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I do not think I have ever been in a real relationship. I have watched people around me fall in love, break up, move on, and start all over again. But that kind of experience has never been mine. While others were exploring love, I was just existing on the sidelines, being the one who gave advice or acted as the go-between. It bothered me. I would see my coursemates dating, some even juggling two or three relationships, and I could not even get one. I often felt invisible. It was really hard, always feeling like the odd one out.

During my national service, a friend introduced me to a dating site. It felt like a sure bet for me, at last. I joined out of curiosity, and maybe a little hope. Surprisingly, within a month, I met someone. We started talking, and eventually, we started calling it a relationship. It was long-distance, and he had a lot of personal issues going on. Still, I liked him. Maybe because I had been starved of love for so long, I took whatever was offered. We talked about the future. We made plans and dreamed together. We named our children, decided how many we would have, chose our wedding colors, and planned our dream house. But after three years, when we should have started living all those dreams, he said he still had not dealt with his problems and did not want to keep dragging me along. I was the understanding girlfriend. If I left him then, what man would love me after him? It had been so hard just to find this one. I understood, even though it hurt.

Looking back now, I realize we were not really in a relationship. It was more like a friendship with feelings. We only met twice in those three years. That should have said a lot. And it does.

Sometimes, I feel like I have never truly been loved by anyone. Not deeply. Not genuinely. I can go for days without a single call or message from anyone. No one checks on me. It often feels like I could disappear and nobody would notice.

Friendship has not come easy for me either. In SHS, I had friends, but it was mostly because they were getting something from me. After school, they all moved on. I would reach out now and then, but it was always one-sided. University was not much different. I tried to be friendly, to open up, to be kind, but it was like people just did not see me. Even at church, I would try to connect with someone, have a conversation, be nice. But the next time we met, they would act like I did not exist. So I stopped trying. I barely attend social events anymore. It is exhausting to always show up and still feel completely alone.

It is not that I have a bad attitude. I actually go out of my way to treat people well, the way I would want to be treated. I have always believed in being kind and respectful, but somehow, it never seems to be enough.

Right now, I cannot say I have even one person I can confidently call a friend.

And there is something else. My face. My mother gave me two tribal marks on my cheeks when I was younger. Ever since, I have struggled with self-confidence. I look in the mirror, and I do not see someone who is ugly, not really, but I also do not feel beautiful. Sometimes people say I am pretty, but I cannot let myself believe them. I keep thinking the marks are why people stay away from me, why no one wants to be close to me.

I have had moments, dark ones, where I have thought of ending it all. Life is already hard, but going through it without support, without someone to lean on, is even harder. I am tired of pretending to be okay. Tired of always being the one who reaches out, who tries, who gives, and still ends up alone.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Some days, I wish I were not here at all. I wish I did not exist.

But here I am. Still breathing. Still hoping, somehow, that maybe things will change.

I do not know what the future holds. I just know that this, this is my life so far.

—Mercy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Believe, the, Tribal, Mark, Mother, Gave, Chases, Men, Away, From", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/98613.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-believe-the-tribal-mark-my-mother-gave-me-chases-men-away-from-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-05 06:07:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135135", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Kissed a Girl But Now She Won't See You Again? You Messed Up", "title_slug": "kissed-a-girl-but-now-she-wont-see-you-again-you-messed-up", "title_hash": "5fd32b2538b6669d3ac7da5b5fb6f5e2", "summary": "You kissed her, made out with her, it was magic, but now she’s gone. That was your mistake: you made out with her, but you failed to CLOSE.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"made$ You kissed her, made out with her, it was magic, but now she’s gone. That was your mistake: you made out with her, but you failed to CLOSE.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Kissed, Girl, But, Now, She, Wont, See, You, Again, You, Messed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/made-out-but-didnt-close-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/kissed-girl-now-she-wont-see-you-again-you-messed", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135133", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Skilled Seducer of the Month, December 2025: Topcat", "title_slug": "skilled-seducer-of-the-month-december-2025-topcat", "title_hash": "2e5a7a5b0ebf2e954d29449fd256b09f", "summary": "Topcat, a talented online gamer with 160+ lays, details his online process, his attitude toward relationships, and his transition into cold approach.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"Skilled$ Topcat, a talented online gamer with 160+ lays, details his online process, his attitude toward relationships, and his transition into cold approach.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Skilled, Seducer, the, Month, December, 2025:, Topcat", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/ssotm-topcat-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/skilled-seducer-month-december-2025-topcat", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135134", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: \"You're Not on Instagram?\" & Other 'Sudden Dealbreakers'", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-youre-not-on-instagram-other-sudden-dealbreakers", "title_hash": "c21757707e8ab536e3f11388e29cbcd4", "summary": "She seems interested, you go for her number, then – she asks for your IG. And you never hear from her again. What’s with ‘dealbreakers’ at the #-close?\n", "content": "

$\"wait,$ She seems interested, you go for her number, then – she asks for your IG. And you never hear from her again. What’s with ‘dealbreakers’ at the #-close?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Youre, Not, Instagram, Other, Sudden, Dealbreakers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/not-on-instagram-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-youre-not-instagram-other-sudden-dealbreakers", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135131", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Problem with Minimalist \"Just Look Good & Escalate\" Game", "title_slug": "the-problem-with-minimalist-just-look-good-escalate-game", "title_hash": "1f124f954635a275295997299cfca621", "summary": "Minimalist game: “just look good & find the girl who wants you then escalate!” Sounds great in theory but rarely will you ‘get lucky’ like this. Here’s WHY.\nHey all. Welcome back.\nOver the years, I have seen this recurring theme showing up: guys who promote the whole “minimalist” or “less is more” type of approach to pick up and seduction.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"is$ Minimalist game: “just look good & find the girl who wants you then escalate!” Sounds great in theory but rarely will you ‘get lucky’ like this. Here’s WHY.

Hey all. Welcome back.

Over the years, I have seen this recurring theme showing up: guys who promote the whole “minimalist” or “less is more” type of approach to pick up and seduction.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Problem, with, Minimalist, Just, Look, Good, Escalate, Game", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/minimalist-game-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/problem-minimalist-just-look-good-escalate-game", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135132", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Approaching Girls in Groups, Let Girls Make Their Interest KNOWN", "title_slug": "when-approaching-girls-in-groups-let-girls-make-their-interest-known", "title_hash": "c2a989d38efb6c07e7f8ad42fede0da4", "summary": "When you approach girls in groups, don’t just laser in on the hottest girl. Feel the group out first, and check each girl’s interest level in you FIRST.\nCommenting on my article on the spotlight effect, AspiringCASANOVA notes his difficulty finding girls who are out alone:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"watch$ When you approach girls in groups, don’t just laser in on the hottest girl. Feel the group out first, and check each girl’s interest level in you FIRST.

Commenting on my article on the spotlight effect, AspiringCASANOVA notes his difficulty finding girls who are out alone:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "When, Approaching, Girls, Groups, Let, Girls, Make, Their, Interest, KNOWN", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2026/01/approach-girls-groups-interest-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/when-approaching-girls-groups-let-girls-make-their-interest-known", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135130", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Relationship Counseling Lessons", "title_slug": "relationship-counseling-lessons", "title_hash": "ba55490a36e35c1ffe263728f3b0b206", "summary": "The past few decades have seen a massive shift in terms of how people view therapy, and couples therapy has benefited from a similar improvement in public opinion. \nWhere it used to be something of a death knell for a relationship, signifying that things had gone horribly awry and the relationship was most likely on its last legs, today, couples might feel comfortable telling friends they’ve gotten into therapy together relatively early on in a relationship, confident that they’ll be recognized as engaging in healthy, proactive behavior. \nRELATED: What to Know About Couples Therapy \nIf you’ve never explored couples therapy before, you might wonder what it’s like, who it’s for, or how to tell if your relationship could benefit from some. In order to help give you a clearer portrait of what it can (and can’t) do, AskMen spoke to a psychiatrist, as well as some real men who’ve been in couples therapy about lessons they’ve learned from it. Here’s what they had to say: \n\nCouples Therapy Les", "content": "The past few decades have seen a massive shift in terms of how people view therapy, and couples therapy has benefited from a similar improvement in public opinion. \nWhere it used to be something of a death knell for a relationship, signifying that things had gone horribly awry and the relationship was most likely on its last legs, today, couples might feel comfortable telling friends they’ve gotten into therapy together relatively early on in a relationship, confident that they’ll be recognized as engaging in healthy, proactive behavior. \nRELATED: What to Know About Couples Therapy \nIf you’ve never explored couples therapy before, you might wonder what it’s like, who it’s for, or how to tell if your relationship could benefit from some. In order to help give you a clearer portrait of what it can (and can’t) do, AskMen spoke to a psychiatrist, as well as some real men who’ve been in couples therapy about lessons they’ve learned from it. Here’s what they had to say: \n\nCouples Therapy Lessons\n\n1. Navigating Relationship Issues Requires Conversation\nWhatever the nature of the issue (or issues) plaguing your relationship, it’s unlikely that it (or they) will go away without you having to do anything. Though they may begin with a new relationship energy that allows everything to feel fun and easy, maintaining a relationship over years and decades tends to require work — and that work almost always includes genuine conversations about the relationship. \nRELATED: How to Know If You Should Try Couples Therapy \nIf you’re a guy, talking about relationships might not be something you have a ton of experience with, which means it can take some time to get practiced enough to be good at it. But as that practice gives you the skill it takes to have serious, soul-searching conversations about real issues in your relationship(s), it will benefit you and your partner(s) both. \nArguably the most important skill here is active and intentional listening. \n“One meaningful lesson I’ve learned from couples therapy, both as a psychiatrist and through personal reflection, is the importance of truly listening to your partner without immediately trying to fix or defend,” says Dr. Sham Singh, MD, a psychiatrist at WINIT Clinic. “Often, when people feel unheard or misunderstood, the problem isn’t the conflict itself but the disconnection that comes from feeling invalidated. I’ve realized how crucial it is to create space for vulnerability and understanding, even when emotions run high.\nRELATED: How to Use 'Solve Languages' to Improve Your Relationship \n2. You Won’t Make Progress Without Vulnerability\nThat being said, listening to your partner (and therapist) and internalizing what they’re saying is only part of a conversation; what you say is also super important. And in couples therapy, as with solo therapy, if you’re not getting real, you’re not going to be able to reap the real benefits of the process — but in this case you’re not just cheating yourself, you’re also robbing your partner of the time and energy they’re putting in. \n“Couples therapy for me has underscored self-awareness and accountability, for it is only when both partners are willing to take responsibility for their contributions that real healing and growth can take place,” says Singh. \nUltimately what that means is you need to get more comfortable with being vulnerable. \nWhile that may feel unpleasant for lots of guys given the way boys are taught to be strong and tough growing up rather than exploring ‘sissy’ emotions like fear, sadness, anxiety and disappointment, getting comfortable recognizing, naming and sharing these feelings will help you and your partner immensely when it comes to navigating whatever relationship issue(s) you’re dealing with. \nRELATED: Understanding Emotional Vocabulary \n3. Starting Earlier Is Better Than Starting Later\n“When I was in my 20s my then-girlfriend of three-plus years and I started to see a couples sex therapist to address our mismatched sexual selves. It felt like a last-ditch effort — I’d tried, unsuccessfully, to end the relationship more than once before that, mostly because I felt deeply sexually unsatisfied. Therapy helped us talk about this stuff more easily and it did help give us tools to address some of our issues, but ultimately it couldn’t bridge the gap between us. However, that experience was an eye-opener for me, and I broached the idea of therapy in my current relationship much earlier in the process so we could use it to navigate exploring non-monogamy together in the early going rather than using it as a band-aid later when things were already difficult.” - Ian, 37\nBecause therapy can be somewhat stigmatized for some people, jumping to it as a first resort is a relatively rare approach. People may see it as a ‘serious’ thing to only consider once the relationship problems feel dire. \nHowever, as Ian’s story points out, waiting until you’re already considering ending the relationship to start couples therapy is doing you and your partner (and probably the therapist) a disservice. It’s like seeing someone suffer a serious injury and waiting a few hours before calling an ambulance. \nRELATED: How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Try Couples Therapy \nEven though it may go against your instincts, if you believe in the relationship and want to make it work, considering therapy earlier in the process, before a problem starts to feel dire, won’t just give you an opportunity to nip it in the bud, it’ll also equip you and your partner with the skills to navigate other problems as they arise. \n4. Not All Relationship Problems Are Solvable…\nThere’s a perception for some people that couples therapy is a last resort approach to relationship problems, one that only people in dire straits would turn to. \nHopefully, this is changing as therapy becomes more normalized in society, but it’s true that if a problem is serious enough to prompt a couple to seek out professional help, it may ultimately be too big to overcome. \nAnd the data will then reflect that — lots of people who seek out couples counseling do end up breaking up. But that doesn’t mean it can’t help people, just that a) the majority of relationships end in breakups anyway and b) relationships where people are acknowledging there are serious issues may be statistically more likely to lead to a breakup in short order than ones where that’s not the case. \nAfter all, people are complex animals, and in a relationship you necessarily have more than one of such creatures. Even if there’s a lot of the good parts (chemistry, compatibility, investment in the relationship), a significant mismatch or hurdle can sometimes prove to be unsurmountable, and sometimes couples therapy is a process of confronting that reality. \nRELATED: Why Every Guy Should Seriously Consider Therapy \nAs Singh puts it, “both partners bring along their respective histories and unmet needs into the relationship,” says Singh. These “underlying dynamics” may ultimately not be things you can work past, even with a highly qualified therapist who’s adept at guiding your conversations and bringing you to helpful realizations. \n5. …But Couples Therapy Now Can Help You With Future Relationships\n“Counseling with my ex was a really productive process that helped me become a lot more self-aware and reflective about my own habits, patterns, and behaviors and gave me a lot of language to process and understand my own feelings. I’ve been surprised about how useful the insights from therapy have been. Seeing yourself reflected back by a neutral third party is just remarkably helpful in terms of understanding your own actions and feelings in a new light. Even though it didn’t prevent the dissolution of the relationship, I think this counselling helped me become a better person and led me to think much more deeply about how I want to be and what I can do to deal with my neurodivergence. I also think it has, to some extent, made me a better parent, a better partner in my current relationship, and maybe even (I hope) a better friend to my friends.” - Simon, 43\nOne of the beautiful things about therapy is that it isn’t a short-term fix. Whether seeing a couples counselor can help your current relationship go from surviving to thriving or not, the techniques and approaches you learn in your sessions can help you throughout your life. \nWhile couples therapy is typically more expensive than solo therapy, splitting the cost with your partner means it’s usually a bit more manageable, and it is covered by some insurers. \nHowever, even if you’re paying out of pocket, some of what you’re paying for is being able to use what you learn in those sessions throughout your life. Being a thoughtful, emotionally mature partner will make your life easier, your partners’ lives easier and your relationships happier and healthier. Hard to put a price tag on that! \nYou Might Also Dig: \nThe Types of Therapy That Are Best for Men, RevealedThe Dangers of Turning to AI for Mental Health SupportWhat It’s Like to Do Solo Sex Therapy", "keywords": "Relationship, Counseling, Lessons", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/relationship-counselling-lessons/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1742430345.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/relationship-counselling-lessons.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135128", "lang_id": "1", "title": "20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in 2026", "title_slug": "20-different-ways-to-successfully-find-love-in-2026", "title_hash": "9782a39daa7d763f549acc2bef8ed211", "summary": "New Year, New Love Life: Here's How to Make It Happen", "content": "There’s this common belief that falling in love is something that just happens to us. Despite all our efforts, there’s nothing we can truly do except hope that the next person we meet is “the one.”\nSure, it might just be a type of “right place, right time” situation when it comes to meeting the person you’ll end up spending the rest of your life with, or at least the next few years with, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stack the deck in your favor.\nThe truth is, like most things in life, there are plenty of ways to give yourself a better shot at a long-term relationship and cast yourself in the best light, increasing your chances for meeting the person who completes you. \nThat doesn’t mean being dishonest or behaving in a shady manner in order to attract or retain a partner, but rather taking advantage of the opportunities that exist rather than sitting back and hoping for the best. \nRELATED: How to Optimize Your Dating App Profile Without Being Inauthentic \nSo, if one of your New Year’s resolutions is to finally find the right person, you've come to the right place. AskMen put together 20 tips drawing on advice from over half a dozen experts on how to find love this year:\n\n20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in 2026\n\n1. Put Yourself Out There\nThis might be the most common advice people doled out when it comes to finding love. In fact, you may be reading this thinking, “How much more could I possibly be out there?” Well, putting yourself out there goes beyond just simple things like visibility on dating apps or frequenting your corner bar.\n“Create more opportunities for you to meet other people, learn new things, and generally improve and expand your life,” says relationship expert Amy Hartle. “These should be things you actually want to do; activities you actually have an interest in.”\nRELATED: Best Dating Apps for Relationships\n“When you focus on doing the things you love, the right person will come into your life — not only because you're putting yourself out there and taking chances, but because when you’re focused on the things you love, you become the best version of yourself,” Hartle adds. “A potential partner gets to see you in your element.”\n2. Take a Class\n“Education improves who you are and exposes you to not only potential partners who may be in the class, but many others who are around the educational facility,” says relationship therapist Andrew Aaron. “Those who value education also share many other good values and thereby increasing the chance to meet someone special of high quality.”\nRELATED: Ways to Meet Women Outside of Bars & Clubs\n \n3. Do Some Volunteer Work\nWhat's a cause you truly care about? Volunteering helps to improve your overall mood and self-esteem, and connects you with others who share the same values.\n“Unlike on a dating website or Tinder where deception and distortion are easy, participating in a group effort actually takes a commitment — something that separates those who are low in motivation from those who are vital, ambitious and determined,” says Aaron.\nRELATED: How to Meet New People Organically\n\n4. Be Open to Finding Love in All Different Places\nOpportunity waits for no man, so don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with a potential match at the grocery store, on an airplane or anywhere you meet someone who catches your eye.\n“Being open can mean something as simple as making eye contact with others,” says therapist Lauren Cook. “As you enter [the new year], commit to actually ‘seeing’ other people in the new year by looking at those around you.”\n5. Network With Dates Who Didn’t Work Out\nThis may seem like strange advice, but according to marriage and family therapist Dana McNeil, the more you expand your social circle, the more likely it is you’ll meet someone.\n“If you and a date don’t work out having a love match, but you really like the person and their character, there is no reason you can’t help each other to network your prospective groups of friends or family members,” she says.\nRELATED: Staying Friends With Someone You Met on a Dating App\n“If you are both able to be mature and acknowledge that a love connection isn’t happening for the two of you,” McNeil adds, “why not put your collective network to good use and consider if there is someone that either of you knows who might be a good match?”\n\n6. Ask People in Your Life to Set You Up\n“It is very likely the people you admire and genuinely care for in your world hang out with and have a close relationship with other admirable and quality people who may also be looking for a new love,” says McNeil.\nRELATED: Is Speed Dating Making a Comeback? \n“Letting your network (coworkers, neighbors, colleagues, etc.) know you are open to and interested in meeting some new people this year is just reinforcing your efforts with help from a community who probably has your back, and wants to help you find the best match,” she adds.\n \n7. Improve the Quality of Your Dating Profile Pics\nSpeaking of online dating profiles, unfortunately, if you’re on a dating app, the quality of your pictures will play a big role in how much success you have. \nWhile that might make some people reach for a filter, a Photoshop job or even A.I., misrepresenting how you look will not benefit you in the long run at all. \nRELATED: The Problem With Using A.I. for Your Dating Life\nInstead, you should look at how you can optimize your pictures without being dishonest. That means high-quality pictures, good lighting, some variety, and some insight into your personality. \nFor instance, “dating profiles that are filled with selfies make that person look like they have no social life, or like they love themselves more than anyone else ever could,” says dating profile writer Eric Resnick, are not exactly a turn-on for most people who date men. \n“You don't need a ton of group shots in your profile, but have your friends take some pics for you,” he adds. “You are going to have a much more natural smile when you are relaxing with your friends than when you are trying to look at the screen with one eye and at the lens with the other.”\n8. Send Intentional Messages\nWhether you’re sliding into a crush’s DMs or messaging someone on an app, there are few things worse than the ‘spray and pray’ approach. \nSending out the same message (or lots of different generic ones) to lots of potential matches online could make your inbox more full, but most likely it’ll lead to a lot of non-responses. \nIf you’re serious about finding a meaningful relationship this year, Resnick says to go for quality over quantity.\nDon’t message someone, he says, “unless there’s some evidence in [their] profile that [they’re] looking for someone like you,” he says.\nOtherwise, you’re wasting everyone’s time. \n9. Don’t Be Afraid to Take a Break\nDating apps can be great tools to help you find love, but they can also burn you out. If it’s too much to handle, it’s alright if you want to take a breather.\n“Online dating should not be a part-time job,” says Resnick. “If you’re spending more than 20 minutes of your day on it” now, he says, it's “time to limit yourself” going forward.\n“FOMO isn’t real here, but [online dating] burnout is. The people you don’t see today will still be there tomorrow, but your will to find them might not be.”\n10. Know What You Value\nWhat actually matters to you in a relationship? Getting clear on what you value most in a potential partner will help make it clear when you’ve found the right one for you.\nRELATED: Understanding the Difference Between Attraction and Compatibility \n“When you are unsure what matters to you in a relationship, it can be easy to be swayed purely by chemistry rather than an actual character-traits connection,” says Cook. “Does your ideal life include adventure, safety, achievement, connection, creativity? From this, you can begin identifying what matters most to you.”\n11. Be Vulnerable Where It Matters\n“Many of us either operate in a space where we are totally closed off or share too much,” says Cook. “Find a happy medium where you are willing to connect in a safe and open way that allows you to get to know someone.”\n“You can still protect your heart without appearing guarded and defensive,” she adds. “If you notice that your partner has a wall up as well, carefully consider if they are at a place in their lives where they are willing to be thoughtfully vulnerable as well. In other words: Don’t date someone who is not open to love at this time.”\n12. Own Who You Are and What You Want in a Relationship\nIf you really want to be in a serious relationship, why pretend you don’t to appease someone else? It’s okay to make that known.\n“Pretending to be interested in only casually dating or portraying yourself as someone who is willing to hook up without a commitment when that isn’t who you are is not going to serve you in relationships,” says McNeil. “You send mixed messages to both the new partner and yourself by accepting less than you want.”\n“The right person for you will find it refreshing and attractive that you are willing to own who you are, and state your expectations about what you are looking for regardless of whether or not the other person agrees or validates you,” she adds. \n13. Stop Being So Rigid in Your Expectations\nYou may have a prepared plan as to what you want out of the person you date, but make sure you’re focused on the right things.\nRELATED: How to Stop Being an Online Dating Snob \n“So many of my clients shoot people down before they ever have a chance to meet because of their ‘requirements’ for a new partner,” says McNeil. “Not every woman has to be a perfect size two in order to be a fit.” \nInstead, make a list of must-haves based on what a potential new person values — “their character, their ability to take personal responsibility for their behaviors, and sense of genuine concern for their needs,” continues McNeil. “Then you are more likely to find someone who is actually a good long-term fit.”\n14. Consider Therapy to Address Confidence Issues\nIf you’ve been single for longer than you’d like and you’re feeling depressed about your prospects, it might be time to give therapy a try. \nWhile it’s far from an easy magic button to solve all your self-confidence issues, spending time in therapy is a great way to retrain your thought patterns away from unhealthy self-blame and negative self-talk and towards acceptance. \nWhile the “no one will love you until you love yourself” maxim isn’t universally accurate, there is a grain of truth to it. It’s easier to find love when you radiate the kind of confidence that comes with loving yourself, and navigating the early relationship stages is likely to prove less difficult if you’re not constantly doubting yourself and feeling afraid of things falling apart. \nRELATED: Benefits From Therapy That Change the Way You Live Life \nDoing some research into finding a mode and a therapist that are right for you may feel daunting, time-consuming and/or expensive in the short term, but it can pay incredible dividends in the long run if it helps you become someone who likes himself. As they say, confidence is sexy! \n15. Evaluate Your Beliefs About Dating\nYour beliefs about the dating landscape you’re in can impact whether or not you’ll be successful. Meaning, if your internal monologue consists of feeling like the people you’re attracted to never notice you, that you have to be a bodybuilder in order to get any attention or that all the good ones are taken, it’s time to challenge that thought process.\nRELATED: What Guys Get Wrong About Love \n“Our beliefs create our reality, so really examine what thoughts you think on a regular basis about dating,” says relationship expert Kat Trimarco. “What if these beliefs weren’t true?”\n“As you choose different thoughts that are more in alignment with what you want to experience, these new thoughts over time become your beliefs and shape the new experiences you’ll have,” Trimarco adds. “Your willingness to see things differently will open up doors to meeting new people.”\n16. Have a First-Date Plan\nWhen you’re going on a first date with someone you barely know, it can be tempting to leave the date up to chance. And for some people, that kind of approach may work well. \nBut, as Aaron explains, taking initiative to thoughtfully plan out a first date can really work to your advantage — and the average woman absolutely loves a guy who’s putting some effort into making the date a nice one. \n“Having planned for the date shows forethought; it signals to your date that [they’re] important and worthy of your time,” he says. “Pre-planning also shows leadership, a fine strength to demonstrate.”\nRELATED: How to Prepare for a First Date \nIt is possible to overdo your planning, of course, but being able to navigate this will make you an exciting catch for many people. Tell your match or would-be date your prospective plan, and see whether it appeals to them or not. \nIf there are any concerns, you can tweak the plan together — but knowing that you put some time into coming up with a plan is a turn-on for most.\n17. Incorporate an Activity Into Your Next Date\nIf firing questions back and forth at a bar on first dates isn’t getting you anywhere, Aaron suggests planning a date that focuses on an activity both of you enjoy.\nRELATED: Fun Date Ideas to Take Your Next Date to the Next Level \n“A date that incorporates a physical element adds a source of conversation,” says Aaron. “Taking a walk, riding bikes, going bowling, exploring a location, dancing, and climbing stairs to see a beautiful view are all examples.”\n18. Listen More Than Talk on Your First Few Dates\nGuys are often taught, explicitly or not, that they have to seem impressive in order to find a partner. One thing this leads to is dates where guys talk a lot and don’t ask a lot of questions, which can make for some very unpleasant dates for the people they’re out with. \nRELATED: Why Listening Is a Dating Hack That’ll Make You Way Sexier\nFlip the script and instead consider prioritizing asking your date questions and seriously paying attention to their answers. \n“I often tell my clients that the people you date will generally tell you who they are within the first few dates,” says McNeil.\n“Allow yourself to have potentially uncomfortable silences without rushing to fill the void,” she adds. “Let the other person share the responsibility of creating a space that feels mutually acceptable, and see if the other person is aware of your needs during conversations.”\nIt might not fit with your understanding of the world, but as it turns out, listening is a seriously sexy skill.\n19. Believe There Will Be a Second Date\nThe goal of any first date is to get to a second date, but going into a first date with that pressure hanging over your head can actually work against you.\n“The best way to get a second date after a first date? Decide that there’s going to be a second date before that first date even starts,” says relationship expert Jenny Block. “Instead, enjoy the date. Look for the positive.”\n“Remember that love at first sight is mostly in the movies, and love that grows is the kind of love that lasts,” Block adds. “You just might be surprised by what you discover about a person when you’re looking for their best instead of their worst.”\n20. Go On a Second Date Even If the First One Wasn’t “Perfect”\n“Many of my clients tell me they give someone just one date to get it right, and if they don’t feel a spark, then they move on,” says McNeil. “Have you ever considered that maybe you should give someone a few dates to get comfortable, and allow some of the nerves to die down so they can show you who they really are?”\nRELATED: How to Deal With First-Date Nervousness \n“Give this person a few dates to get comfortable with you and you with them,” she suggests. “There is no rush to get to the finish line, and sometimes a person grows on you once you get to see them in a relaxed space.”\nYou Might Also Dig:\nThe Best Dating Sites & Apps for ProfessionalsAre These the Best Free-to-Use Dating Apps? We Think SoPresenting the Best Dating Apps for College Students", "keywords": ", Different, Ways, Successfully, Find, Love, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2021/12/08-031429-20_different_ways_to_successfully_find_love_in_2022.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/20-different-ways-to-successfully-find-love-in-2020.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "135129", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Resolutions for 2026", "title_slug": "sex-resolutions-for-2026", "title_hash": "ac9996dddc4886693fc82a37237abcba", "summary": "9 Bedroom Resolutions to Make 2026 Unforgettable", "content": "Congratulations! You made it to the new year. While everyone’s dusting off their “go to the gym more often,” “travel more,” and “nail down that promotion” resolutions that get trotted out every year, here’s a novel idea: Why not come up with some resolutions for your sex life?\nThere’s no actual truth to that old saying that men think about sex every seven or eight seconds, but if we’re all being honest with each other, there’s a good chance you’ll spend a lot of time this year thinking about sex and its adjacent subjects.\n(If you’re asexual or demisexual or for any reason don’t plan to think about sex much this year, that’s fine too!)\nBut for those of us for whom our sex lives are an important consideration, it’s worth taking at least a little bit seriously.\nConsidering how much space sex can occupy in our lives between pursuing it, having it, thinking about it, watching videos of other people having it, and so forth (and how much of an impact good sex (or the absence thereof) can have on our overall sense of self), it makes sense to try to think about it in a bit more of a conscious way.\nRELATED: How to Find Love This Year, Revealed\nSo with that in mind, here are some sex resolutions for the new year. Some (or maybe all) of these won’t feel right for you for one reason or another, and that’s fine. But if any of these resonates with you, why not make it something to work on this year?\n1. Try Something You’ve Been Meaning to Try\nRare is the person without some kind of sex act they’re curious about.\nWhether it’s a threesome, anal sex, sex in public, having a one-night stand or something else entirely, finally getting to do something you’ve been dreaming about can be incredibly fulfilling.\nAnd checking something off a list (or even a bucket list) can make you feel sexy, confident, accomplished, and all kinds of other positive adjectives.\nAs for how to actually accomplish them, that one might be a little trickier. It’ll depend on a lot of different factors, but if you set out to make something happen and tell yourself it’s possible, you might be surprised by what you can accomplish.\nWhether that means opening up to a partner, signing up for a dating app, finally asking your crush out or buying a sex toy, taking your desire seriously and working backward from there might be all you need to do to make your dreams come true.\nOn the flip side, though, sometimes, the power of our fantasies lies more in how we imagine them than in their being realized. Finally experiencing one can also simply be a way to realize that the sex you’ve been having already is pretty good after all.\n2. Try Something Your Partner’s Been Meaning to Try\nIf you’re in a long-term relationship or you’re sleeping with someone who feels comfortable telling you about their sexual fantasies, try asking them if there’s anything they want to try.\nDepending on how closely their vision aligns with your own desires, it could be anything from a dream experience to something you couldn’t be paid a million dollars to do.\nRELATED: How to Make Use of a Sexual Yes/No/Maybe List\nMost likely, though, it’ll be somewhere in the middle. But if it’s closer to a yes than a no, this could be a fun opportunity to try something new together.\nBeing the type of person who helps others fulfill their sexual dreams is worth its weight in gold. Just think: If not for those types of people, you wouldn’t be getting a chance to realize your fantasies, either.\n3. Have an Honest Conversation About Kink With a Partner\nBecause of all the sex negativity most of us grow up surrounded by, any kind of sex that’s more taboo than vanilla is often seen as gross, dirty, shameful or even sinful.\nWhen you realize that you find something like that hot, it can feel incredibly scary for a lot of people. If you were taught that sex is bad or something to feel ashamed of, being open and honest about what turns you on might be something you struggle with, and talking about sex can be hard for many people regardless of whether the sex is taboo or not.\nIt can be easy to fall into a pattern of silence and waiting rather than admitting how you feel. This year, if there’s a desire that feels illicit or taboo but that is a central part of your fantasies, consider opening up about it to a partner.\nRELATED: How to Get Your Partner to Try Something Unconventional in Bed\n4. Reflect on Your Relationship to Porn\nThere’s nothing wrong with porn conceptually, but the sex you see in adult films is a narrow and distorted version of what actual sex is like. The participants tend to look and be groomed in very similar ways, the storylines hew to similar beats, and a lot of what goes on is meant to look good rather than feel good.\nMeaning, if you’re watching a lot of porn you might be losing touch a little bit with what it’s like to have sex with another human being who has their own body and their own desires.\nIf you ever feel uncomfortable about how much porn you’re watching, maybe this year is the year you experiment with quitting watching porn. If not altogether, then perhaps just for a little while, or just holding yourself to a certain number of times or time limit per week.\n5. Have More Sex...\nRare is the guy who complains that he’s having too much sex. If you’re one of the many feeling like he’s simply not seizing the day (or night), maybe this year is the year you try to come into your own as a sexual being.\nRejection is definitely a daunting thing, but if you can push yourself a little bit, you’ll realize that getting rejected a few times isn’t a sign that you’re undesirable or disgusting or hopeless… it’s simply a byproduct of being someone who’s trying to succeed.\nSo ask people on dates! Sign up for dating sites or hookup apps! Just put yourself out there a little bit more and see what happens! The world is full of horny people looking to have their fantasies fulfilled. With a little confidence and effort, you could be the person fulfilling some of them.\n6. ...or Have Less Sex\nIf you’re in a position where you’re having a non-zero amount of sex and you can confidently say that’ll continue this year, congratulations! However, it’s worth considering that, as with all kinds of behaviors, sometimes people use sex as a means of covering up deeper emotional problems or issues.\nRELATED: Are You Having Too Much Sex? Here's How to Tell\nMaybe you’re hurting from a breakup, lonely, or simply bored and unfulfilled. Seeking out sex with new partners can be incredibly thrilling, but it can also be a Band-Aid solution, and if you’re treating these partners like a means to an end rather than as real people, the chances that someone gets hurt are high.\nBecause of the way men are socialized to see sexual prowess as proof of manliness and power, it can be hard for a guy to take a step back from sex. But this year, it’s worth considering taking a step back from having hookups left, right, and center for a bit and contemplating who you are — and how you feel — without them.\n7. Explore Your Butt\nIf what we know about ancient Greek society is to be believed, human beings have been having anal sex for thousands of years, and for every pitcher, there’s necessarily a catcher.\nRELATED: Anal Sex Dos & Don'ts You Should Know\nThe fact that anyone consents to have their anus penetrated is a pretty good sign that it’s a fun thing to engage in, but because of taboos, prejudices, and fears, many guys feel like their buttholes are completely off-limits despite being the source of great potential pleasure. Male G-spot, anyone?\nThis year, consider playing with your butt a little bit (or letting someone else do it). You might confirm that it’s not for you, or be surprised by how much you like it.\n8. Explore Your Sexuality\nRelatedly, not only do prejudices, fears and kink-shaming attitudes turn many men off from experiencing anal pleasure, they also turn many men off exploring their sexualities.\nThe idea that everyone is straight is a relic of the past, and increasingly, the idea that everyone is either fully straight or fully gay is also falling by the wayside.\nRELATED: How to Tell If You're Bisexual\nThis year, try opening up to the possibility that your sexuality exists somewhere in the middle. That might mean reading some new erotica, watching some new porn, or going on dates with some new people. Regardless, you might learn something new about yourself.\n9. Try Out a Sex Toy\nMost likely you got your start masturbating using just your hand — or perhaps something within arm’s reach in your bed. Regardless, sex toys aren’t necessarily the first thing you think of when it comes to sexual pleasure.\nRELATED: The Best Masturbation Toys for Men, Revealed\nBut humans evolved to use tools in other aspects of their lives for a reason. Just as your hand doesn’t make the greatest hammer, it’s worth acknowledging that whether giving or receiving pleasure, sex toys can do certain things better than we can.\nThis year, try buying a sex toy and seeing what it’s like, whether you’re using it on yourself, a partner, or both. (At the very, very least you should buy some lube.)\nYou Might Also Dig:\nBest Sex Positions to Spice Up Your Sex LifeThe Best Masturbation Techniques to TryHow to Find a Third Partner for a Threesome", "keywords": "Sex, Resolutions, for, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_fantasies/sex-resolutions/askmen-lead-image-template-1736270481.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_fantasies/sex-resolutions.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:26:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134922", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Girlfriend’s Side Guy Poured it in Her Mouth and She Swallowed it", "title_slug": "my-girlfriends-side-guy-poured-it-in-her-mouth-and-she-swallowed-it", "title_hash": "4bcee7f22d091c59fcaa75b85a531ccb", "summary": "I just read a story here about a woman saying she cheated on her husband and the husband has given her eleven questions to answer. Two years ago, I was …", "content": "

I just read a story here about a woman saying she cheated on her husband and the husband has given her eleven questions to answer. Two years ago, I was in the shoes of that woman’s husband. She wasn’t my wife. She was my girlfriend. We had dated for a year and were planning marriage. We had fixed a date for the knocking rite and I’d already started buying the things I suspected would be on the marriage list.

Something didn’t feel right for about a month. Her excuses didn’t make sense. I would go to her place and she wouldn’t be there. It was always difficult for her to explain where she was. I would wake up late at dawn and see her online on WhatsApp.

She came to me one day smelling like a stranger. The perfume on her smelled like it was called “Oud De Cheating.” It was so masculine it began hurting my nose. I asked where she got the perfume from and she said she visited her sister and used her perfume. No woman would buy that scent for herself.

So I investigated. One night she didn’t sleep at her place. I was there all night until the morning arrived. She didn’t come home. Meanwhile, she had sent me goodnight messages and kisses before sleeping. I stayed around the area until I saw her going inside her room. A few minutes later, I followed. She was tapping on her phone when I got in. I snatched the phone and ran with it.

She chased me like an Olympian but I was faster. My finger was on the screen so it didn’t go off and request a password. She was texting the man she spent the night with. She was asking if the man poured it inside her. The man asked, “Don’t you want to have my baby?” She answered, “Unless you put a ring on my finger.”

I broke down totally but I loved her so much all I wanted was to forgive her. We talked about it for days. I wanted to know everything. I felt maybe I was the one who fell short somewhere in the relationship so she sought fulfillment elsewhere. I asked how many times they had done it. I asked if the man’s ‘load’ was bigger than mine. I asked if she loved him. I asked what the man did that I wasn’t doing.

I asked any question that came to mind and she answered. I don’t know if she was being honest with me but the answers were sweet and sour. The sour ones made me feel so small but I knew healing would come since I was determined to forgive. Every answer she gave, she followed it with an apology and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

One night I asked her, “So tell me, what’s the craziest thing you did with him that you haven’t done with me?” She looked deep in my eyes and said, “Why don’t you stop asking these questions? Don’t the answers hurt you?” I insisted. I told her it was making me learn to do better.

She was quiet for a while and said, “One day in his car, we were going oral when he poured it in my mouth. I swallowed it.”

When she mentioned ‘swallow’ my Adam’s apple went up and down, like I was swallowing invisible food. Maybe it was my shame I swallowed, because that day I told myself, “I can’t. No, I shouldn’t forgive all these noises in the name of love. The mouth that I kiss is swallowing things from the street?”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

I didn’t talk again until the next morning when I saw her off. The knocking rite didn’t happen. The love died. The marriage plans got burned. Reading the story this morning reminded me of my own situation so I asked myself, “Why do we want to know all that when the answers don’t make us any better?” So Claudia, either walk away or lie. Whatever you say would one day be used against you at the divorce court.

—Pieroo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Girlfriend’s, Side, Guy, Poured, Her, Mouth, and, She, Swallowed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/64219.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-girlfriends-side-guy-poured-it-in-her-mouth-and-she-swallowed-it/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:14:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134921", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Defied My Father and Married the Tribe He Warned Me Against", "title_slug": "i-defied-my-father-and-married-the-tribe-he-warned-me-against", "title_hash": "5f708c87ff2187d25b97b7584defd269", "summary": "Here is my story, in response to the lady who genuinely wanted to hear from Akan women married to Ewe men. My parents had eight children: six girls and two …", "content": "

Here is my story, in response to the lady who genuinely wanted to hear from Akan women married to Ewe men.

My parents had eight children: six girls and two boys. The first four girls all married men from the Ashanti region, Akan men. I think I know why. Maybe they genuinely fell in love, but I believe they were also subconsciously picky, filtering their hearts through an unspoken rule. You see, growing up, my parents made one thing crystal clear: the Ewe tribe was a no-go zone. Do not indulge in “I love you.” Do not dream of “let’s marry; tell your parents mine are coming.” Don’t even try it.

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According to my father, all the trouble he had ever faced in life, especially at work, was caused by someone from that tribe. I don’t know how true it was, but it was his truth. I never let it bother me. When I met someone I liked, I didn’t care about their surname, their hometown, or their tribe. In fact, while my father was going on and on about “don’t marry an Ewe,” my first boyfriend was an Ewe. So were a few other guys I dated.

Then it was time for the fifth girl, my sister, to get married. The person she brought home was Ewe. I remember how all hell broke loose that day. It was not funny. My father sacked the man and warned him never to get close to my sister again, not to even smell the air she breathed or use the same path she used. He was furious. Nothing could stop him. Out of frustration, and probably to spite our parents, my sister got pregnant out of wedlock. She went on to have three more children without ever getting married.

I didn’t just sit in the corner with my hands folded. I tried. I talked to my parents about it. I always fought them on that stereotype. I told them they were the reason my sister never got married. And I warned them. I wasn’t going to allow them to do the same thing to me. If I brought a fine, educated Ewe man home, they were going to sit on that sofa in the living room and talk to him. They were going to see him as a human being, not just his tribe. I wasn’t going to allow it.

My father would later tell one of my sisters that I once said to him, “Even if there is only one good person among that tribe, he is the one I am going to marry.” This was after he told me, “If you take about a hundred of them, you’ll only find one good one.”

Then I met my husband. I always say it was love at first sight for me. He was well educated. He didn’t exhibit any of the stereotypes my parents had cautioned us about. He was smart, fine, resourceful, and very independent. I loved how resourceful he was. And how he treated children! If you saw how much he loved children, you would have his children a hundred times. Maybe I am on a mission to do that. Maybe not.

When I finally introduced him to my father and mentioned his tribe, my father just smiled. He said he wasn’t surprised. He said even from a young age, I had always said I was going to marry from the Ewe tribe.

If there is any one good thing I can shout about my husband, it is that he is hands-on with our children. He changes nappies. He feeds them. He baths them. He is present.

When it comes to being a husband, I don’t know if all that fighting with my parents was worth it. But all I can say for certain is this: marriage is not about tribe.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

\nIt is about the person. I will repeat it until I am breathless. It is about the individual, not the tribe. Come on now, if they say all Ashanti men run from responsibility, do you think it is all of them? Of course not.

My marriage is going well, not because I married an Ewe man, but because I married a good man. And that is the story I wanted to share.

—Yaa Yaa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Defied, Father, and, Married, the, Tribe, Warned, Against", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "42", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/2148960586.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-defied-my-father-and-married-the-tribe-he-warned-me-against/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 13:14:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134920", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband Has a Secret Child and He Has No Idea I Know", "title_slug": "my-husband-has-a-secret-child-and-he-has-no-idea-i-know", "title_hash": "b860df477cfaaeb29c93cbe1d991269f", "summary": "My husband has a secret child. Currently the child is two years old but no one knows about it, not even his own family. I got to know about it …", "content": "

My husband has a secret child. Currently the child is two years old but no one knows about it, not even his own family. I got to know about it months ago but I decided to keep quiet and observe. He’s suffering at the hands of that baby mama and I’m sitting here enjoying the drama without him knowing that I know about the storm going on in his life.

He traveled to work in another town for only one month and yet was able to get a girlfriend. I remember when he was there, I asked to visit. I pleaded actually. The town he went to was a place I’d always wanted to visit but because I had no reason to go there, it only remained a dream.

I told him, “I haven’t been there before. I want to use this opportunity to see the town so I can say something when others are talking about it.” He flatly denied me the visit as if he had the visa to the town. He said, “What is in this town that you would allow pressure to push you to visit? It’s only one month. I sleep in a hotel. How do you visit?”

So I didn’t until he completed the work and returned. I didn’t suspect him of anything because he gave me no reason to suspect him. Even after the job was done, he would still visit the town under the pretext of checking up on the job they did there. I’m a peace-loving woman. If there’s nothing there, or if I don’t see anything there, I won’t force something to be there to cause myself a headache.

Since I discovered the truth about that illicit child, everything that happened years ago started to make sense. I kept having an *ahaa* moment as though today’s moment was an explanation to yesterday’s history. There was a time my husband got very restless. He couldn’t even eat his meals. He would stay on the phone for hours. When I asked questions, he told me it was an office issue.

It was either someone had stolen something and was being sacked or one of their bosses had been caught in illicit operations. I calculated back to those days and it fit perfectly when the lady was pregnant. I don’t know that fact but I can imagine my husband fighting with the lady to abort the pregnancy. That restlessness. The quick tenderness he developed towards me and the children all of a sudden had meaning. He was going through a lot.

How did I get to know about the child?

The lady sent a voice note to him on WhatsApp. She was shouting as if my husband was standing next to her, “How can you do that to your own child on his birthday? Do you think your children there are more important than him? He’s two and you couldn’t come to his birthday and you also didn’t send the money. Wait until I visit you and that your wife.”

I listened to that voice note over and over again, with a trembling heart, and then with a calm heart, and then with a racing heart. I was going through emotions while I listened. It wasn’t the only voice note. The lady’s English is not that good so she struggles with writing. She always prefers to send voice notes instead. I listened to three or four of them. They were all threats and fights about money or promises my husband didn’t keep.

I wanted to fight him. I wanted to call him a cheat and threaten divorce. I wanted to cause a huge family tsunami where our families would come together to solve the problem. I wanted to add to his trouble but I sat in my chair and thought about it for days and told myself, “If I cause a scene and the issue is settled, it will give him peace. No, I won’t give him that peace.”

The fact that he thinks I don’t know is the reason the lady can treat him the way she treats him. She uses the fact that I don’t know as a weapon. Whenever she needs money and my husband doesn’t send it, she tells him, “Wait, I’m coming there. Your wife will know about us today.”

I think it works so she uses it often. And I can also see how restless and unhappy he gets sometimes when the lady starts causing him problems. He could talk in his sleep. He would talk to me and call me “Efua,” meanwhile I’m not Efua. I don’t ask who Efua is. I just play along.

What I do these days is also cause him trouble. Previously he would tell me he doesn’t have money and I would be an understanding wife. These days, no. I demand it. I stand on my right as a wife and demand he does his duties. If I accept he doesn’t have it, he would send it to the other woman. Then it would be my loss. That woman doesn’t give him breathing space so it’s not with me that he’s going to get that space.

How long am I going to do that?

I don’t know. I think about it each day. I pray about it and ask God what I should do. I don’t have the answers. I don’t believe what I have currently is the right answer because if I follow the answers I have, I will leave this marriage and not look back.

All I’ve done in this marriage is be a good wife and a mother. I don’t demand when I know there’s none. I put my money on the line for the family. I support his dreams. I helped him pay fees for his master’s so we can both reap the benefit.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

What reason does he have to have another woman? What reason does he have to have another child apart from the three that we already have? All he ought to do was be a good husband. The kind who brings resources home to build what we have. He’s out there spreading his resources abroad. No, I won’t give him that peace. For now and until further notice, I will help the other woman to cause him trouble until he confesses. If not, the play goes on.

—Emme

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I was six months pregnant when my husband had an accident and died. I was devastated. I thought my world was coming to an end. He was a good man who became a good husband to me. I’d never known a man with his kind of heart. At one point, he was like a father to me. “Esi, do it this way and it will work.” I would do it and it would work massively. When I was down and confused, I ran to him. There was no problem he couldn’t help me solve, but on that fateful day, when he was returning after visiting his parents, he died.

No goodbye. No “Take care of yourself.” Nothing. One day he was with me. The next day he was gone. I had a series of dreams where I was dead with him. In another dream, my child had been born prematurely and was struggling to live. Prayer was my friend. My family and friends came together to help me face the darkness that had fallen on me.

At his graveside, I made a promise. I promised I would never marry anyone else but rather raise our kid into the kind of man he would be proud of. “There’s no love without you, Eben,” I said. “There’s no need trying again when you’re not here. No one is like you.”

I gave birth to a boy. I named him after him. I was determined to do it all. We had a house we didn’t complete. My dream was to build it and move into it as soon as possible. I met men who promised me heaven on earth. I said no. Ben asked me, “Why don’t you want to love again? You’re young and deserve to move on.”

The thought of moving on felt like an insult to the memory of my husband. “Move on? If you were my husband and you died, would you want me to move on in this short period?” He got me angry just because he asked me to move on. I cut the little friendship I had with him and even blocked his number.

Pressure came from far and near, especially after my widowhood rite. My dad said it subtly; “Get a man for the child. Later he would give your child siblings to play with.” My mom shrouded her request in prayers; “Esi, I prayed for you last night. God says you should not harden your heart because he has good things coming your way.”

I would say amen and still go out there to push those God has sent my way away. I found love tiring. I found starting all over again a chore I didn’t have the engine for. Some nights I cried when I missed my husband. I would sleep with his photo at the headboard of my bed. I would ask why he left so soon. Tears would drop on the frame but no answer would come from him.

I went to the building site one day and saw, “Stop work and produce permit” boldly written with red paint on my building. I had to go to the Assembly to talk to someone for help. I entered an office and saw this man who smiled warmly to welcome me. I told him my problem and he said, “Oh, you’re in the wrong office. Come, let me show you.”

He pointed at the right office and mentioned the name I should mention when I get there. I knocked at the door and no one responded. I came back to him and told him no one was there. He told me to wait for a while or I could go and come next time. I waited for over an hour until I was told they had gone to the field and the boss was also at a meeting outside the office.

He asked me to give him my number. He said, “I’ll talk to the boss when he comes. I’ll call you afterwards.”

That very night when I went to sleep, I had a dream and saw my husband smiling. He said, “Marry him. He’s a good man.” “Who are you talking about?” I asked. “The man you met today in that office. Have I ever told you something that didn’t work? Trust me.”

My eyes opened and I slapped myself for waking up from such a dream. It was the first time I was seeing him after he died three years ago. “Marry who? That man didn’t even look like someone who was interested in me. How?”

Three days later, the man called. I asked his name and he said Elvis. He told me I could come the next day to see the boss and that he had already told him everything. “I even told him you were my sister so he would make things easier,” he told me.

I went to the assembly again and spoke to the man in charge. He was indeed helpful. He led me through the corridors of the office and showed me where I should pay what and what to do next. When I was leaving, I went to Elvis’ office and said thank you. I was looking for a sign that said he might be interested in me but saw nothing. I told myself, “It was just a dream.”

Weeks later, I asked myself, “What if it isn’t?”

I called Elvis again and said thank you. He asked, “How many times do you want to say thank you? It’s fine. I’m happy you’re happy.” We talked for a while and before he hung up I asked, “But why are you not married? Pardon my intrusiveness.”

He asked, “Do you have someone for me?” he asked while laughing. This led us into territories where two people who just met shouldn’t go. I hung up knowing he would call me again in a few days. It wasn’t a few days. He called back that same day.

We met one day. I told him my story: how my husband died when I was six months pregnant. He was sad for me and was trying hard to console me. I said, “The funny thing is, the last time I saw him in a dream, he said I should marry you. I’d only known you for a few hours.”

He thought I was joking so he asked me, jokingly, “How did he know my plans even before I did?”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Today, we have two more kids and have been married for eleven years. It hurts my heart every day when I have to admit that what I have now is everything I ever dreamed of when I was with Eben. I don’t know if I could have attained this level of happiness with him if he lived longer than he did, so I’ve learned not to compare but rather enjoy each day as it unfolds.

It’s very hard to erase Eben from my memory because no matter how I choose to tell my story, whether from the beginning to the end or from the end to the beginning, he will still be there, at the center where he belongs.

—Esi Bilson

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*****

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She travelled on the 22nd of December. She said she was going to spend Christmas with her parents, so I gave her some money and she left. We were talking, not constantly, but we talked sufficiently enough for two people in a relationship.

I went to church on the 31st night. Before I went, I called and we talked. She told me she wasn’t feeling well so she wouldn’t go to church. After service, I called to wish her a happy new year, but she didn’t pick up. I called several times before I got home, but she didn’t pick up.

I texted, “Are you alright? Please call back.” She didn’t respond. I went to sleep, woke up around 5 a.m., and called again. She picked up, sounding like I’d woken her up from the dead. “Yes, what is it?”

“I’ve been calling you since last night. I was going to wish you a happy ne…”

She screamed, “All those calls because of a happy new year wish? Was I not going to wake up, that you had to disturb my night with those silly calls? What’s wrong with you?”

And then she cut the call.

I was stunned. I looked at my phone wondering if she was the one I was talking to. I checked the number. I went through our text messages. I was looking for something that said, “You called the wrong line.” The shock turned to anger. I decided I was never going to call her again until she calls to apologize.

I texted in the afternoon, “So you’re feeling too big to apologize, right?” She was typing. After several minutes of typing, she sent, “I forgot to block you here.” And bam, I was blocked.

That’s how I lost a one-year relationship on New Year’s Day. Diana, Diana, Diana…how many times did I call you? God is the judge, and you won’t escape His judgment for the way you treated me.

—Denis

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I was a daily rituals skeptic for a long time—probably because I couldn’t find one that worked for me. But during the summer of 2025, I needed help to center myself. Congressional Republicans were voting to defund public media, where I had worked for the last ten years, and my position at PBS was under threat. I was angry and scared.

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Over the years, friends, and mentors had suggested meditation. As someone who had yet-undiagnosed ADHD and chronic pain, sitting still for an hour seemed an impossible task at the time. (And it still does!) So I started small, with bite-sized guided meditation and then “hacked it,” as the kids say, to work for me.

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At first, I chose a quick, guided meditation video on YouTube after I woke up, listening and breathing deeply for just five minutes. Guided meditation helped me refocus if my brain got distracted by, say, sorting through my never-ending to-do list.

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I regret to inform you that after doing this a few times across two weeks, I could tell the difference. Now, on the days I meditate—I’m up to 10 minutes a day, plus some stretching—I feel my nervous system noticeably calm. With my body relaxed, I can more thoughtfully tend to my pain.

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Research backs up this perception.

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Studies have shown that people who meditate can better focus on the present and are less likely to ruminate anxiously on negative experiences and thoughts. Because anxiety triggers the production of stress hormones, it makes it difficult to feel settled, keeping the body and mind in a dysregulated state. For people with ADHD and chronic illness, mindfulness meditation can improve emotional regulation, attention, and executive function.

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RNG reporting and analysis indicates the U.S. will see big, anxiety-producing changes to reproductive health care and civil liberties in 2026; many people will need ways to cope in these turbulent times. Because what works for me may not work for you, I asked my colleagues and the broader RNG community to share the rituals they rely on to stay sane. We hope you’ll find something that can help you get through this year in a better state of mind, too.

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Are you doing your part to keep this reporting alive?

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We need to raise $40,000 by the end of the year, and we are falling short. To help out, a generous donor has agreed to EXTEND their match.

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So here it is: Every donation we receive before the end of the year will be doubled for the next six months.

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Giving monthly is ideal. But if you can make a one-time gift today, it will also be doubled.

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Help us close the gap.

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Read: The Official 2025 Rewire Book List

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RNG’s Other Top Rituals

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Reading

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Instead of grabbing my phone as soon as I wake up, I now pick up a novel and read for a few minutes while I drink my morning coffee. This small behavioral change, which I adopted in January 2025 to get literature back in my life following the convulsions of new motherhood, has also boosted my mental health. As a journalist, I’m drowning in bad news all day. Morning reading provides a relaxing transition into the day. Plus, I’ve discovered that reading begets reading: If I get engrossed in my book in the morning, I’m more likely to continue it at night—again, instead of doomscrolling. – Catesby Holmes, Editorial Director

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Therapy

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A career as a nonprofit media executive is not for the faint of heart. One way to manage the stressful situations I navigate daily is with a strong, mental health practice—specifically, therapy. Removing the stigma around therapy, especially for leaders and executives, is something that I take very seriously. And I approach therapy as part of my weekly toolkit to be a more empathetic leader. Modeling this habit for my staff is one small way I can reframe the narrative around mental health care. My therapy appointments are visible on my calendar, and I encourage everyone on my team to make time for self care. Therapy does not make you weak. On the contrary, being vulnerable can be extremely fulfilling. – Mallory Johns, Executive Director

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Daily walks

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In 2020, I was a recent college grad living in my parents’ house when I should have been on campus celebrating huge milestones. I felt so listless. My therapist suggested I get into a routine, even if it felt silly. The one that stuck was taking a mental health walk daily, since the combination of getting some exercise and being outside—especially in sunlight—can boost your mood by releasing endorphins and providing some social interaction. My strolls quickly became my favorite part of the day. And five years later, I still make a pot of coffee and go for a long walk with my dog every morning. – Natasha Roy, Staff Editor

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Read: College Students Struggle With Mental Health Under Trump

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Coloring

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Thanks to the Instagram account @cozy.gamer, I fell in love with large-print coloring books last year. At least once a week, I cuddle under my warmest blanket, select a seasonally-appropriate YouTube ambience to set the mood, and spend about 30 minutes coloring. — Emma H., RNG supporter

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Boxing

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I’m someone who has historically struggled to feel anger—much less express it. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there, bubbling beneath the surface and taking its toll. I started boxing in college to shut off my brain and force my angry feelings out. And let me tell you: Making space for channeling your ugliest feelings and frustration is super cathartic. That’s true whether you ’re someone who goes from zero to raging in three seconds flat, or takes weeks and months to even sort out that you’re mad. Boxing gave me a newfound sense of power and agency. Plus, the cardio and muscle fatigue combo boxing creates makes for a lovely post-workout high. – Cameron Oakes, Staff Editor

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Read: Trans Fighters Wrestle to Take Down Discrimination in Mainstream Martial Arts

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Why rituals and practices matter

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Historically, rituals like harvest festivals, haka dances, or communion at church were a way to bring a community together—spiritually, emotionally, physically, or intellectually. That togetherness leads to more trust. By extension, neuroscientists say, it helps people feel safer.

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Today, we may associate rituals with religious practices and in the traditions teams undertake before major sporting competitions. Quietly, however, in private, millions of people are using rituals and practices to process grief or traumatic events, manage their health, and better their mental health.

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Rituals can take many forms beyond those listed above. Any physical activity or positive social interaction can release feel-good hormones—whether that’s doing chair yoga, or saying a quick “hello” to your neighbor.

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I’ll be the first to admit: There are days I barely hear the meditation guide speaking because I’m repeatedly distracted. And there are days when I repeatedly check my phone to see, “Am I done yet?!” But I always feel better ready to start my day having set aside those few minutes to ground myself.

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Any ritual becomes a practice by showing up consistently, no matter your state of mind. This year, I encourage people to fully embrace the adage, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”

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The post Six Rituals and Daily Practices To Help You Survive 2026 appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Over the busy past year here at Rewire News Group, our team has brought you breaking news, enterprise reporting, and sharp analysis on the latest in reproductive justice, from vaccine policy changes to state elections that shape abortion access.

It is my hope that our stories have armed you with the information you need to make sense of the world and be an informed voter. RNG’s journalism is designed to give readers a sense of agency. Even as the Supreme Court’s conservative majority aligns with state and federal lawmakers to gut basic civil rights and democratic protections, you still have power.

As RNG‘s resident reporter-editor, I’m sharing the 2025 reporting I’m proudest of, where my attention will be in 2026, and how you can help RNG continue to serve as a watchdog of democracy.

Let’s jump in.

From the “big, beautiful” bill to ICE: 2025 in review

President Donald Trump’s massive July 2025 budget package, dubbed the “big, beautiful bill,” featured sweeping cuts to federal spending, including a provision largely reported as an effort to strip Planned Parenthood of its Medicaid dollars.

That was certainly the most obvious consequence of the law’s anti-abortion provision; Planned Parenthood has been battling to get its funding back since. But I spied another potential consequence of Trump’s BBB: The wording of the measure could easily sweep smaller, independent reproductive health-care clinics up in its anti-choice dragnet.

After working the phones and parsing through thousands of pages, I identified two indie clinic networks whose bottom lines would be hit hard by the “big, beautiful” bill, and informed RNG readers. One, Maine Family Planning, was eventually forced to close its primary care operation because of Trump’s new law—and when it did, I covered that story, too.

Read: Federal Cuts Force Maine Family Planning To End Primary Care; Abortion Services Will Continue

In the fall, I turned to immigration. The aggressive contours of Trump’s immigration priorities had sharpened, and I wanted to understand how ICE raids were affecting reproductive health across the country. I spent months interviewing advocates, experts, and front-line health-care workers, and poring over academic research and clinical guidance.

This month, we published the first story to emerge from those efforts: A look at the physical and mental health problems that immigration enforcement can cause in pregnant people and their babies. Doctors are seeing high blood pressure, sleep disruptions, and heart palpitations. Some patients, fearful of going outside, are missing the prenatal appointments where those conditions might be treated.

Read: Pregnant Immigrants and Their Babies May Suffer Complications from Chronic Stress of ICE Raids, Experts Warn

It’s not all doom and gloom. Several good-news stories in 2025 have punctuated RNG’s coverage. One of those stories came from reporter Priyanka Bansal, who wrote about LGBTQ+ groups feeding their communities—communities that are more prone to hunger than the general U.S. population—this holiday season.

Editing the story brought me so much joy. It served as a much-needed reminder that community can unite people despite seemingly insurmountable hardship. And it brought me a little extra hope in this dark winter. I hope it will do the same for you.

Read: How Queer Organizers Feed Their People, from New York to Atlanta

What I’m watching in 2026: Abortion laws

Abortion access will continue to be in flux throughout 2026. The biggest threats will likely come from the federal government, as law professor Rachel Rebouché wrote for RNG on Dec. 10, 2025.

Read: 2026’s Abortion Battles Will Be Fought More in Courts and FDA Offices Than at the Polls—Analysis

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration plans to reassess the safety of abortion medication mifepristone, in what many experts worry amounts to a sham review with a predetermined outcome: less abortion access. Bloomberg Law recently reported that FDA Commissioner Marty Makary is pushing the process until after the 2026 midterms—presumably because abortion is a losing issue for Republicans.

The Department of Health and Human Services disputes the allegation that pushing the review amounts to a deliberate delay for political gain. As a journalist on this beat, I’m dubious that denial indicates any meaningful change to the administration’s plans for abortion access.

Attorney General Pam Bondi has also signaled an openness to enforcing the Comstock Act, a dormant 19th century anti-vice law that could be used to effectively ban abortion by making it illegal to mail abortion pills. Prominent anti-abortion lawyers have been confirmed to positions in Bondi’s Department of Justice, opening the possibility that the nation’s highest law enforcement agency could deploy its might against reproductive health care.

Immigration will remain a newsroom priority in 2026.

All evidence indicates that the Trump administration’s mass deportation campaign will continue in the coming year. Experts and providers I’ve spoken to said we’re only just beginning to see the physical impact, on both pregnant people and their babies.

Coupled with a web of state-level abortion restrictions, Medicaid cuts, and the expected lapse of Affordable Care Act tax credits at the end of this year, I anticipate that the government’s ongoing attacks on immigrants will have measurable harms to people’s reproductive health.

Whatever happens next year, RNG will be watching. Along with my colleagues Imani Gandy and Jessica Mason Pieklo, both expert SCOTUS watchers, I will be keeping close tabs on the courts and federal public health agencies in 2026. And we won’t just bring you the news—we’ll go behind the headlines to explain what new laws, policies, and rulings mean for reproductive justice and bodily autonomy in the U.S.

I will also be monitoring stories at the intersection of reproductive health, disability justice, and science in 2026. Think news on cutting-edge research on endometriosis, undercovered accessibility issues in reproductive health, and how changes to federal regulations will impact people with disabilities, both visible and invisible.

I see this kind of reporting as essential in 2026. Both Trump and Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. have spoken disparagingly of disability, using slurs and suggesting some disabled people be put in “wellness farms.”

And since Trump took office, hundreds of millions of health-care research dollars—money that was meant to fund investigations into breast cancer, HIV, autism, and ways to make health care more accessible to disabled folks—have been either frozen, threatened, or stripped from institutions altogether.

How you can help

Fuel reporting like mine by becoming a Rewire member or subscribing to RNG’s newsletters in 2026. Our new membership tiers come with cool benefits, including exclusive access to Gandy’s private Discord community. And our revamped newsletters deliver our latest reporting straight to your inbox, fresh and spicy every week.

My final ask is to keep in touch! I’m always looking to speak with people who have reproductive justice expertise, as well as those who bring revelatory lived experiences and relevant perspectives to my reporting. You can follow me and my work Bluesky, LinkedIn, and on our site.

The post I Am a Reproductive Justice Reporter. These Are My Favorite Stories from 2025. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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To our Rewire community:

When I joined Rewire News Group shortly after the 2024 election, I did so with the strong belief that independent journalism—and particularly journalism that provides accurate information about reproductive rights and justice—is essential to a healthy democracy.

The same forces that we’ve seen undermine reproductive freedom leading to the Supreme Court’s Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision ending federal abortion protections in 2022 have been attacking press freedom throughout 2025. I see these attacks —on reproductive rights, the press and beyond—as part of the Trump administration’s broader efforts to dismantle democratic institutions, silence marginalized communities, and restrict many people’s right to, quite frankly, exist in the world.

I’ve spent the majority of my media career using digital platforms to reach new audiences and build community. But in recent years, I found myself feeling more and more uneasy with the way legacy outlets were covering the intersectional issues that speak to someone like me: a Black woman of reproductive age. We’re all familiar with how this can play out in traditional mainstream newsrooms: a dearth of dedicated reporters covering reproductive health; a neglect of how race, class, and geography affect access; an overall lack of expertise on the subject or strapped resources; or all of the above.

Rewire News Group is that expertise. We don’t just cover abortion; we provide essential, intersectional journalism, analysis, and commentary that connects reproductive rights to democracy, racial justice, immigration, disability justice, LGBTQ+ rights, and more.

Over the past year as RNG’s executive director, I’ve been extremely humbled by and proud of the body of work produced by our small but mighty team. We’ve produced deeply-reported pieces, including this recent story on the rippling effects that ICE raids can have on pregnant immigrants and their newborns, and profiled Hope Walz, daughter of former Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Tim Walz.

Our award-winning podcast Boom! Lawyered returned to video for its ninth season (subscribe to our YouTube channel here)! We debuted a brand-new interview podcast from Co-Chief Content Officer Imani Gandy, called B*tch, Listen. And we reimagined Rewire’s newsletters—including by launching our flagship newsletter product, Rewire Weekly.

Today, we are bringing you more of the stories, analysis, and insights that matter most in reproductive justice, in both print and audio formats deliberately designed to fit your news needs.

Our journalism has always been fueled by our community. Thank you for the support you’ve shown us over the years. We’re continuously honing our work based on feedback, research, and what readers like you said you’d like to see more of from us, so please, keep your feedback and notes of support coming.

Journalism is the connective thread that ties us together, especially during turbulent eras like today. My final ask to you would be to please consider becoming a Rewire News Group member! In case you missed it, last month we launched our new membership program. This isn’t a paywall. Our stories will always be free.

Membership means something deeper: It keeps our journalism independent, protects truth from disinformation, and ensures that authoritarian movements don’t get to reality.

Your contribution keeps our journalism independent, protects truth from disinformation, and ensures our reproductive justice reporting remains free, fearless, and accessible to everyone.

Thank you for being a part of our community.

With gratitude,
\nMallory

The post A Holiday Message from Rewire’s Executive Director appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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2025 was a huge year for Rewire News Group. We welcomed new colleagues, chased bigger stories, and even launched a new podcast. We said goodbye to one of our newsletters, Executive Dysfunction (RIP), and built two (beautiful!) brand-new ones from scratch.

It’s also been a huge year for news: The U.S. government is dismantling the nation’s health systems, hunting down immigrants, and attacking LGBTQ+ people—particularly, trans people. The 2026 midterm elections could determine whether these anti-democratic assaults, all outlined in the right-wing Project 2025 roadmap, marches on.

RNG covered it all. As the year winds down, we’re looking back on some of our best work this year. Thanks for trusting us to keep you informed in 2025. We’re excited to serve you with more crucial journalism in the new year.

TransMissives

One of President Donald Trump’s first moves in his second administration was to issue executive orders with strict, binary definitions of sex that prohibited trans people from using restrooms and playing on sports teams that align with their gender identities.

While there was much mainstream media debate over policy and science, few outlets actually asked how young trans people felt about the attacks on their very existence. So RNG did. Our audience team partnered with the youth education site Scarleteen to produce TransMissives, a series of letters from trans kids and their families explaining how they were faring in this political moment. My personal favorite was from an elementary schooler, who wrote, “We all get to decide who we want to be, and I just want to be me.”

Read: I’m a Trans Girl in Elementary School—My Family and Teacher Support Me

Elie Mystal on B*tch, Listen

The Nation’s justice correspondent, Elie Mystal, is a Rewire favorite! He joined Co-Chief Content Officer Imani Gandy in October on her new podcast, B*tch, Listen, to talk about why the Constitution isn’t working, and what it would look like to overhaul it.

Listen: The Constitution: A Scam by Rich White Men, for Rich White Men

Sit-down with Hope Walz

Just months after the 2024 election, one of my writers emailed me asking if I was interested in an interview she’d recently done with Hope Walz—the daughter of former Vice Presidential candidate, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz—for a class assignment. Walz, 24, had built a TikTok following based on political hope and sharing her everyday life. Obviously I was interested.

The profile, published on March 11, is a delightful portrait of a young woman who wants to see ground-level change, and of the “servant leadership” mindset that inspired her desire to work in public policy.

Read: Exclusive: Hope Walz Never Planned for TikTok Fame. Now Her Platform Inspires Change.

‘Deconstruction Era’

Boom! Lawyered returned for its ninth (!) season this fall, and co-hosts Gandy and Jessica Mason Pieklo started off with a bang. In the first episode of the season, they argued that the Trump administration has ushered in a “deconstruction era”—like the post-Civil War Reconstruction Era, only in reverse. The episode breaks down what the current dismantling of the U.S. government means for public institutions and the American understanding of the rule of law.

Listen: We’re in the Deconstruction Era

OB-GYNs are staying in Texas

Texas lawmakers are making the Lone Star State an increasingly more difficult place to be pregnant—and to be a doctor who treats pregnant patients. In the next five years, Texas is expected to have 15 percent fewer OB-GYNs than it needs. But some are staying put, even though they feel overworked, angry, and afraid. RNG talked to three of them.

“We can’t all just move to very blue states,” one Houston-born OB-GYN said in our Aug. 19 story. “We have our community ties here, and these communities still deserve strong OB-GYNs.”

Read: These Three OB-GYNS Won’t Leave Texas—Even As Abortion Bans Threaten Their Work

RNG membership launch

On a personal note, I’ve been a Rewire staffer for more than three years now (it’s my second full-time job out of college!). Year after year, I’ve seen what a difference reader support makes for our work. Yes, we’re a nonprofit and inherently rely on donations, but it’s still true—you make a huge difference in the journalism we’re able to produce. We’re incredibly grateful.

Our amazing development team launched a membership program this year, with different tiers that offer benefits like exclusive access to the Boom! Lawyered Facebook group and a private Discord with Gandy. If you’d like, you can check it out to help sustain our work for years to come.

The post Rewire Wrapped: RNG’s Best of 2025 appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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30+ Dark Aesthetic Home Theater Ideas for 2025: Moody Gothic, Minimalist, and Modern Cinema Room Designs

$\"30+$

There's something undeniably captivating about sinking into a dark, moody home theater as the lights dim and the screen flickers to life. In 2025, the dark aesthetic trend isn't fading , it's evolving, pulling in elements of gothic drama, sleek minimalism, and tech-savvy modern vibes to create spaces that feel like personal escapes.

Forget bright, clinical rooms; these moody cinema setups embrace shadows, rich textures, and subtle glows to heighten every scene. I've always been drawn to these designs because they turn movie nights into events. Drawing from real inspirations across Pinterest, Houzz, and designer portfolios, this guide packs over 30 ideas tailored for various tastes and spaces.

Why Dark Aesthetics Are Dominating Home Theaters in 2025

Dark rooms aren't just trendy, they are practical. Deep hues absorb light, boosting contrast and reducing glare for better picture quality.

Intimacy: Dark colors make large rooms feel cozy and enveloping.

Atmosphere: With the rise of high-quality streaming, homeowners want a space that feels like an \"escape\" from the outside world.

Acoustics: Many dark materials (like velvet and heavy drapes) naturally improve sound quality by reducing echoes.

Gothic-Inspired Moody Cinema Rooms: Drama and Elegance

Gothic vibes bring Victorian grandeur with a dark twist, perfect for that \"haunted mansion\" feel. Start with deep plum or burgundy walls, accented by ornate molding or faux arches in black wood.

Top Gothic Ideas:

$\"30+$

Starry Ceiling Murals: Use fiber-optic lights for a night-sky illusion.

Heavy Theater Drapes: Frame the screen with thick, velvet curtains.

Antique-Inspired Mirrors: Place them strategically to amplify visual depth.

Battery-Powered Sconces: Flicker LED \"candles\" along the walls for a safe, eerie glow.

DIY Gothic Arches: Build arches from affordable foam and paint to add architectural interest.

Intricate Plush Rugs: Use patterns that dampen echoes while adding luxury.

Gilded Frames: Display vintage film posters in heavy, ornate gold or silver frames.

Minimalist Dark Home Theater Designs: Sleek and Serene

For those who prefer understated elegance, minimalist dark aesthetics strip things back to the essentials. Matte black or charcoal walls create a void-like backdrop, making the screen the undisputed star of the room.

Top Minimalist Ideas:

$\"30+$

Idea 8: Hidden storage behind flush, handle-less wall panels.

Idea 9: Recessed \"can\" lighting for subtle, invisible illumination.

Idea 10: Asymmetrical shelving for a few select pieces of minimal decor.

Idea 11: Concrete accents or exposed brick treated with dark stains.

Idea 12: Floor-to-ceiling blackout curtains in neutral charcoal grays.

Idea 13: A single statement piece, such as an oversized abstract art print.

Modern Moody Home Theaters: Tech Meets Atmosphere

Modern takes fuse cutting-edge technology with moody charm. This style is all about smart integration and clean lines.

Top Modern Ideas:

$\"30+$

Idea 14: Voice-controlled motorized curtains that reveal a hidden screen.

Idea 15: Custom neon accents spelling out iconic movie quotes.

Idea 16: Modular furniture that allows for flexible seating layouts.

Idea 17: Acoustic panels disguised as geometric wall art.

Idea 18: Floating media consoles to hide messy cables and keep floors clea Idea 19: RGB ceiling lights that sync color to the cont

Idea 20: Navy or indigo accents to add a sophisticated pop of color.

Essential Elements: Colors, Lighting, and Textures

To pull off the dark aesthetic, you need to balance three core pillars:

Core Color Palettes

Stick to Blacks, Navies, and Plums, using metallic hints like gold or silver to prevent the room from feeling \"flat.\"

Lighting Layers

Never rely on a single overhead light. Instead, layer:

Idea 21: Mix matte walls with glossy finishes for texture.

Idea 22: Use subtle patterns in wallpaper to catch the light.

Idea 23: Add faux fur throws for cozy, tactile warmth.

Seating and Layout Ideas for Immersion

Your seating choice defines the \"vibe\" of your theater. Whether you want a formal row or a cozy pit, prioritize comfort.

Idea 24: Tiered Platforms: Build a simple riser for the back row to ensure everyone has a perfect view.

Idea 25: Swivel Chairs: Great for multi-purpose rooms where you might want to pivot toward a bar or social area.

Acoustic Treatments That Blend In

Don't sacrifice sound for style. You can treat your room without it looking like a recording studio.

Idea 26: Functional Bass Traps: Use corner bass traps that double as upholstered

Idea 27: Artistic Diffusers: Use wooden sound diffusers that look like modern wall sculptures.

Decor Touches: Posters, Neon, and Personal Flair

The final 5% of the design is what makes the room yours.

Idea 28: Backlit shelving to highlight movie collectibles.

Idea 29: Thematic props, such as a vintage 35mm projector in the corner.

Idea 30: Live plants (like Snake Plants) in dark matte pots to add a touch of life.

Idea 31: Custom marquee letters spelling \"CINEMA.\"

Idea 32: Large floor mirrors to create the illusion of a larger room.

Final Tips for Your 2025 Home Theater

Don't be afraid to create a hybrid design. You can hang a Gothic chandelier in a minimalist room or put modern RGB tech inside a Gothic-style frame.

Pro Tip: Start small. Paint your walls a dark shade first, you will be surprised how much that alone changes the atmosphere. Budget wisely by prioritizing lighting and acoustics, then fill in the decor over time.

In 2025, these dark aesthetic ideas prove that moody spaces can transform movie watching into magic. Pick what resonates, tweak it to your space, and enjoy the drama. Your perfect shadowy cinema is waiting.

Would you like me to generate a meta-description or some social media captions to help promote this blog post?

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Find sliding door moments in your holiday season.

The post Sliding Door Moments: The Holidays appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

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Make your relationship your New Year's resolution and reap the benefits of a happy, healthy, and meaningful year!

The post How to Have a New Year’s Relationship Check-in appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Have, New, Year’s, Relationship, Check-in", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-1366025138.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-have-a-new-years-relationship-check-in/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2026-01-04 12:06:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134094", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is 'Authenticity' Killing Your Game? Why Congruence is the REAL Secret", "title_slug": "is-authenticity-killing-your-game-why-congruence-is-the-real-secret", "title_hash": "1af984540c92e771828bb8b4cd1cbb67", "summary": "Forget the debate between \"natural\" and \"canned\" game. Lasting success in pickup requires mastering congruence—the art of making any technique authentically yours.\nHey guys and welcome back. The year is coming to an end – and what better way to end this year than with a bit of a self-reflective post?\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"does$ Forget the debate between \"natural\" and \"canned\" game. Lasting success in pickup requires mastering congruence—the art of making any technique authentically yours.

Hey guys and welcome back. The year is coming to an end – and what better way to end this year than with a bit of a self-reflective post?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Authenticity, Killing, Your, Game, Why, Congruence, the, REAL, Secret", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/authenticity-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/authenticity-killing-your-game-why-congruence-real-secret", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 08:09:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134092", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Worst Things to Say After Sex", "title_slug": "worst-things-to-say-after-sex", "title_hash": "d5983a4863673a83d584e2889502d5a4", "summary": "You’ve done the deed (congrats!) and are enjoying the sweet, sweet post-coital cuddle. \nThat is, until your mind starts to race. The weight of the silence between the two of you becomes too much, and you start thinking about ways to fill it. But, with what? \nShould you ask if she enjoyed it? Crack a joke? Wax philosophical about some highbrow topic? Chat about the weather? If you’re at your place, should you ask if they want to stay over? Or offer to call a ride?\nRELATED: Common Sex Mistakes Men Make \nIf this situation sounds familiar, you’ve come to the right place. It’s more than common to want to fill that awkward post-sex silence with conversation. But not all topics of conversation are exactly appropriate — or wanted — in this type of moment. \nTo help you out, we asked some real people to share what they definitely don’t want to hear after having sex with you. Here’s what they said about the worst things you could possibly say after sex. \n“Are you on the pill?”\nTalking about safer", "content": "You’ve done the deed (congrats!) and are enjoying the sweet, sweet post-coital cuddle. \nThat is, until your mind starts to race. The weight of the silence between the two of you becomes too much, and you start thinking about ways to fill it. But, with what? \nShould you ask if she enjoyed it? Crack a joke? Wax philosophical about some highbrow topic? Chat about the weather? If you’re at your place, should you ask if they want to stay over? Or offer to call a ride?\nRELATED: Common Sex Mistakes Men Make \nIf this situation sounds familiar, you’ve come to the right place. It’s more than common to want to fill that awkward post-sex silence with conversation. But not all topics of conversation are exactly appropriate — or wanted — in this type of moment. \nTo help you out, we asked some real people to share what they definitely don’t want to hear after having sex with you. Here’s what they said about the worst things you could possibly say after sex. \n“Are you on the pill?”\nTalking about safer sex after you’ve already done the deed is never OK. While it can be easy to get caught up in the excitement of getting laid, but that doesn’t let you off the hook for talking to your partner about protection proactively. \nSure, bringing it up after sex isn’t as bad as not bringing it up at all — but this should never be the default. There are plenty of ways to ask for consent without killing the vibe. Read up and be prepared so that you never have to ask post-sex. \n“Oh, I just got a text…”\nImmediately reaching for your phone to start texting with your pals is bad form all around. If you have time to have sex, you have time to give the person who had it with you the attention they deserve before the two of you get back out of bed. \nRELATED: Why Do Men Get Tired After Sex? \n“Nothing makes me feel worse than having sex with someone who reaches for their phone right after it’s over,\" says Kate, 33. “I would rather sit in silence than next to someone who’s so addicted to their phone that they have to look at it as soon as we’re done.”\nGrabbing your phone the second you’re bored might be perfectly normal when you’re alone, but in the company of someone else, it’s sort of like telling them they’re failing at keeping your attention. In a hookup context, that’s not likely to go over super well. \n“Did you shower today?”\nIf you can’t be nice, be quiet. If there’s something that happened during sex that you want to address, doing so immediately after when your partner is in their most vulnerable state is not only unkind, it’s unacceptable. \n“I’m a big guy and was asked this once by a guy I had met while I was out at a bar,” said Kai, 28. “It was hot in there and I knew I had been sweating throughout the night, but he initially made me feel so comfortable that I ended up leaving with him anyway. He asked me this right after we finished, and it felt terrible. I’ve avoided that bar ever since, I hope I never run into him again.”\nUnless this is someone you’ve been seeing regularly in a friends-with-benefits scenario and there’s a certain amount of trust when it comes to feedback, pointed negative feedback about their grooming is not something you should offer in the aftermath of sex. \nJust think — you wouldn’t want someone to tell you you smell bad, would you? \n“Was it good for you?”\nThough it is a staple of pop culture sex scenes, that moment afterward when you’re both still in bed is not a great time to ask for a performance review. \nIf you’re genuinely looking to know whether or not your partner was satisfied, do it at a time where you’re both fully clothed and some time has passed for your partner to be able to gather their thoughts. \nOtherwise, it just ends up putting pressure on the other person to say yes, when that may not be accurate. \n“I hate this question, because if it wasn’t great, you’re asking me to look you in the eyes after you gave me your best effort and tell you it didn’t do it for me, which is such a bad position to put someone in,” says Claire, 23.\n“Wow, I can’t believe you’re into [insert kink here]”\nIt can’t be stressed enough how important consent is, and that includes performing whatever kinks you and your partner are into. \nRELATED: Things That You Shouldn’t Try in Bed Without Asking \nIf the person you’re having sex with asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with, it’s completely OK to say no. Going through with it when you’re uncomfortable is going to be bad for both parties. Doing this and then kink-shaming them about it is even worse. \n“I once had a partner ask me what I wanted and told him to put his tongue in my ear,\" said Natalie, 29. “He did it, but then asked me a million questions about it after we were done having sex, not really understanding or believing that it was something I enjoyed, which made me super self conscious about the whole thing.”\n“Do you know your way home?”\nIt’s OK if you don’t want your partner to stay over — or if you don’t want to, depending on where the two of you are. It’s not great, however, to make a comment like this without giving them the benefit of some context as to why you would like them to leave or are leaving. \nRELATED: What Women Want After Sex \n“Tell me you have a big day at work or even that you don’t sleep well with someone else in your bed, but don’t just kick me out,\" says Justine, 32. “As long as you’re not saying this 30 seconds after we’ve finished and have spent some time together, I’ll take it well. If you want to go above and beyond, offer to call me an Uber.”\nCalling your hookup partner a cab or rideshare is a classy move and if you can afford it, we do recommend it, especially in booty-call situations where you didn’t spend any money on a date beforehand. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nWorst Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex Most Common Sexting Mistakes That Guys Make Porn Moves You Shouldn’t Try IRL", "keywords": "Worst, Things, Say, After, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2015/09/09-060524-worst_things_to_say_after_sex.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/worst-things-to-say-after-sex.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 08:09:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134093", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Will Dating Look Like in 2026?", "title_slug": "what-will-dating-look-like-in-2026", "title_hash": "307320b8a230aa811b20008a3cd8b0d0", "summary": "A New Study Breaks Down the Future of Our Love Lives", "content": "The Story\nThough it may not be possible to know the future with certainty, smart people can sometimes get a sense of where things are moving when they cast their eyes on specific areas. \nThat’s the idea behind trend forecasting, which we here at AskMen are sometimes curious about when it comes to the core topic areas that we cover in our articles, like sex and dating. \nWell, good news, everyone! Dating.com has just released a new report on their predictions for dating trends in 2026, particularly when it comes to millennials, a core part of the dating cohort at the moment. \nRELATED: Internet Dating Slang Terms You Need to Know \nThe Snapshot\nWhile the report explores a variety of different predictions, as seen in the below screenshot, there’s one big one they call a “macro-trend”: emotional outsourcing. \n\nRELATED: Understanding Emotional Vocabulary \nIn plain language, “emotional outsourcing” means the perception that your primary (or sole) romantic partner should be someone who meets all your emotional needs and is someone to whom you confide all your deepest feelings is something we may be shifting away from, as people prioritize sharing things with friends, or dividing their romantic and sexual needs among multiple partners. \nThe report also explores trends like “ick regret,” where people who’ve dropped a potential partner over getting the ick are now wondering whether that was a premature judgment call. \nThe Lesson\nWhile a complex study like this one offers many different data points that you could run with to justify your decisions, there’s another lesson lurking under the surface: While things like love and romance sometimes feel massive and monumental, they’re also subject to the winds of change as social beliefs and focuses shift over time. \nYour love or dating style may feel out of step with your peers’, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it. In a few years you might be right back on trend. \nRELATED: The Best and Worst TikTok Dating Trends & Advice \nUntil then, we think that recognizing that one person can’t be every single thing to you isn’t a bad move. Having friends and family (and maybe a therapist) you can talk to about things means your partner won’t feel overloaded when you do need them. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nExploring the \"Living Together Apart\" Trend in Modern Relationships 20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love in the Coming Year 25 Ways Sex & Dating Have Changed Since AskMen Was Founded", "keywords": "What, Will, Dating, Look, Like, 2026", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating/what-will-dating-look-like-in-2026/askmen-lead-image-2x1-79-1766780674.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating/what-will-dating-look-like-in-2026.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 08:09:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134090", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What You Should Know About PrEP", "title_slug": "what-you-should-know-about-prep", "title_hash": "fa769b5571d3323b24db2cefab1bd52e", "summary": "She's in bed waiting, and you can't track down where on your body that smell is coming from. Make sure you're clean for her in 5 flat.", "content": "Whether you’re engaging in high-risk sexual activity or simply want peace of mind, pre-exposure prophylaxis, most commonly known as PrEP, may be prescribed to prevent HIV (human immunodeficiency virus), which is the cause of AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome). \nThis medication, taken as a pill often prescribed in the form of brands like Truvada, Descovy, Apretude, and Yeztugo, works by blocking the virus’s life cycle by protecting your immune system’s T-cells (white blood cells that defend and protect the body). It essentially forms a protective shield and, when taken daily, can reduce transmission risk by a whopping 99%. \nWhile the breakthrough drug has become a constant in the lives of those who identify as gay or bisexual, there is still much that can be learned by the general public and those who may be interested in PrEP’s benefits and efficacy. \nWe chatted with two experts in their respective fields, PA and sexual health expert, Jonathan Baker, as well as Tristan Schukraft, CEO and founder of telemedicine provider and PrEP distributor MISTR, for a complete breakdown. \n\nWho Should Take PrEP?\n\nWhile the medication is primarily prescribed and marketed towards gay and bisexual men (due to anal sex being the easiest way to transmit HIV — almost 20 times more likely while bottoming than through vaginal sex, according to Baker), anyone who might be exposed, regardless of sex, gender, sexual preference, or relationship status and structure, could benefit from PrEP. \n“Most people accessing PrEP are sexual minority men (gay and bisexual men) and transgender women and that’s likely stemming from our community awareness and education around HIV,” explains Baker. “Previous public health estimates have suggested, by number, [that] there are actually more heterosexual-identified folks in the U.S. who would benefit from PrEP than sexual minority men and transgender women.”\nRELATED: Safer Sex Mistakes That Can Lead to STIs\n“About 30% of heterosexual-identified folks engage in anal sex, so it’s important that we consider the impact PrEP could have in these communities, as well,” he adds. \n\nHow Accessible Is PrEP? \n\nObtaining a PrEP prescription starts with a doctor’s appointment, followed by a series of blood tests to ensure that your overall health remains in good standing. \n“Most people get a prescription through their primary care provider after some basic blood work and then repeat that testing every 2-3 months,” says Baker. This is to test for HIV, STIs, as well as kidney and liver function. \nRELATED: 3 Reasons You Should Get an STI Test (and Where to Do It)\nUnfortunately, access to PrEP will vary by one’s geographical location. That said, organizations like MISTR have made it a mission to provide easy, safe, and confidential avenues to get the medication into the hands of those who need it most. \n“Access to PrEP still varies widely depending on where someone lives, but MISTR’s telehealth model has changed what’s possible,” reiterates Schukraft. “In fact, now one in five people on PrEP in the U.S. get their PrEP through MISTR. With MISTR, everything can be done online and through the mail anywhere in the United States. Patients don’t need to find a local specialist, visit a clinic, or navigate a complicated healthcare system.”\n \n“This is especially important in smaller communities, where privacy can be a real concern,” he adds. “Many people don’t feel comfortable picking up PrEP at a local pharmacy or visiting the same doctor they might run into socially. MISTR allows patients to access care discreetly, without awkward conversations or fear of being outed, while still receiving high-quality medical care.”\nRELATED: What to Do When You Have a Sexually Transmitted Infection \nAdditionally, MISTR and similar organizations will also provide remote access to health questionnaires, required testing, and doctor consultations. Lab work can also be completed in-person or via home testing kits. \nFor those in larger cities, PrEP should generally be free or severely discounted. This also includes the associated medical visits and labs. \n“Nearly every insurance carrier, Medicaid, and Medicare cover at least some version of PrEP,” shares Baker. “Uninsured and underinsured folks can often access PrEP through community organizations. While some of the brand name PrEP options are quite expensive (around $2,000/month), daily generic PrEP medication’s out-of-pocket costs are often around only $30.” \n\nHow Is PrEP Administered?\n\nThus far, PrEP has primarily been known as a daily pill that people can take. However, while this method can fold into a daily routine, there are some who shy away from the commitment. \nLuckily, FDA-approved injectables are already on the market and a long-term vaccine continues to be tested and researched among the medical community. \n“The future of HIV prevention goes well beyond daily pills,” reveals Schukraft. “While human trials for an HIV vaccine are underway, a widely available vaccine is still years away. What is already changing the game is long-acting injectable PrEP.”\nRELATED: Debunking Common Misconceptions About Gay Men \n“Injectable PrEP provides full HIV protection with just two shots per year, eliminating the need for daily pills. This is a major breakthrough for people who struggle with remembering to take a daily pill, have limited access to pharmacies, or simply want a more convenient option,” he adds. \n“There are two injectable PrEP options: Apretude injection every two months and Yeztugo injection every six months,” adds Baker. “I use these most in my patients who don’t take other daily oral medications. One of my patients this afternoon reflected on how freeing it is to not take a pill daily and that they feel much safer knowing they have the shot since they would miss some doses of the daily oral medication prior.”\nOrganizations like MISTR are already preparing for this shift in preference, having built storefronts in gayborhoods such as West Hollywood (Los Angeles), Hell’s Kitchen (NYC), The Castro (San Francisco), North Halstead (Chicago), and Wilton Manors (Fort Lauderdale). \nRELATED: What Gay Men Could Teach Straight Men About Sexual Health \n“Patients can receive injections quickly and discreetly. The process is designed to be simpler than a traditional doctor’s visit: Patients complete everything online in advance, arrive for their appointment, scan a QR code, receive their injection, and leave,” explains Schukraft. “Once insurance coverage is finalized, injectable PrEP will be available for free through MISTR.”\n \nWhile injectable PrEP is FDA-approved, access still depends on insurance coverage and state-by-state implementation, which is why the rollout varies across the country. \nEven so, long-acting injectable PrEP represents the most significant advancement in HIV prevention available today, with the potential to dramatically expand protection for communities that have historically been left behind.\n\nWhat Are Alternatives to PrEP?\n\nIt is important to note that PrEP’s primary function is the prevention of HIV transmission. \nFor common sexually transmitted infections such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, engaging in safe sex practices or the introduction of antibiotic DoxyPEP (doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis) are the only proven ways to significantly reduce risk. \nRELATED: DoxyPEP Is a 'Morning-After Pill' for STIs \n“Sexual health is not a single-risk issue,” stresses Schukraft. “HIV prevention often sits alongside concerns about other STIs, routine testing, and overall sexual wellness. That is why bundling PrEP with free DoxyPEP matters.”\n \nMISTR, as well as other organizations, typically offer DoxyPEP at no additional cost alongside PrEP. DoxyPEP is a single dose of doxycycline taken after sex. When combined with PrEP, it provides broader, proactive protection and gives people more control over their sexual health. Since introducing DoxyPEP, the STI positivity rate among MISTR patients alone has dropped more than 50%. \n\nAre There Risks to Taking PrEP? \n\nWhile there is often talk of PrEP’s potentially harmful effects on the liver and kidneys, it is FDA-approved and can be taken safely under the guidance of a medical professional. \n“PrEP is an extremely safe group of drugs and bloodwork is done in advance to make sure there are no underlying issues,” notes Baker. \nThat said, there are a few risks associated with the injectable versions. \n“These injectable PrEP options have different side effects and drug interactions, so you can discuss if they are right for you with your healthcare team,” he says. “Although the six-month injection sounds like it might be a better option, the most common side effect is a nodule which can often be seen or felt in the abdomen where it is injected. For some people this is fine, others don't like it. The two-month injection is usually just sore for a few days but doesn’t leave any lasting bumps.”\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Homophobia \nAs well, while not a risk per se, some may see taking PrEP as somewhat stigmatized thanks to its association with HIV. \nWhen it comes to sexual health, taking proactive measures to prevent HIV transmission should never be stigmatized. Instead, it should be praised. \nIf you find yourself in a position where PrEP accessibility is limited and/or considered taboo, consider an organization like MISTR to assist. Nobody should deprive themselves of an active and, most importantly, safe sex life, especially with medical advancements like these to make it all possible. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nHow Easy Is It for Me to Contract HIV If I Have Gay Sex? What Are the Risks of Having Anal Sex? The Best Gay Sex Positions, Illustrated", "keywords": "What, You, Should, Know, About, PrEP", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/137_love_secrets/askmen-lead-image-2x1-78-1766779435.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/137_love_secrets.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 08:09:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "134091", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Breaking Down the Basics of Sex Education", "title_slug": "breaking-down-the-basics-of-sex-education", "title_hash": "d62131032ad9da3ea95df7f37ef43baa", "summary": "9 Things Everyone Should Know About Sex", "content": "The past century has seen unbelievably and unimaginably impressive leaps forward in the realm of human knowledge and achievement. We’ve mapped human DNA, sent satellites far into the reaches of space, and built a communication network capable of connecting people instantaneously from anywhere on the planet.\nYet teenagers today sometimes seem to be no more sexually educated than teenagers in the 1920s were. Misinformation, myths, urban legends, bigoted assumptions, and lies remain all too common pieces of data that teens pick up regarding sex long before they become legal adults. When we know so much about the human body and are so good at transmitting information, why is sex education still in the dark ages?\nMuch of the problem is cultural. As Jonathan Zimmerman writes in Too Hot to Handle: A Global History of Sex Education, all over the world, for decades, people have pushed for comprehensive, easily available sex ed for young people.\nBut in every country, from the most to least sex-positive, other people have pushed back against these ideas, claiming they are dangerous ones, even when the young people themselves are clamoring for this information.\nRELATED: What Does Sex Feel Like?\nIn the internet age, sites like our own are often in a position to pick up the slack from parents and schools when they can’t, won’t, or don’t educate their kids about the basics of sex. Naturally, that's what we're going to do here.\nAskMen spoke to a handful of experts about what they considered the most important things for people to know about sex. Welcome to your sex education basics.\n\nWhy Sex Education Matters\n\nParticularly if you’ve never had sex before, sex might seem like it’s not such a big deal. Even the people who have the most sex spend a relatively small percentage of their life actually engaging in the act, and some people go their whole lives without ever having sex. To the average person, it’s likely to amount to under 1% of your life. That leaves us with the important question: why is sex education so important?\nRELATED: How Often Do People Have Sex?\n“Comprehensive sex education is vital for society to make informed decisions about their bodies,” says clinical sexologist Valerie Poppel, co-founder of The Swann Center and founder of the Integrated Social & Sexual Health Institute. “Sexual education must include how individuals can protect themselves from sexual transmitted disease and unwanted pregnancies.”\nIn short, it matters because what happens during sex can stay with us. The people who create sex education programs recognize sex's life-changing potential, and their focuses are often on preventing STI transmission and pregnancy as a result. However, Poppel notes, there’s much more to good sex education than that.\nRELATED: What You'd Learn in Sex Ed Today That You Wouldn't 20 Years Ago\nPeople “need to understand how their bodies work and how to give pleasure to their partners,” she says. “Studies have shown sex education reduces teen pregnancy, sexual violence and STI [rates].”\nIf bad (or no) information can lead to these terrible outcomes, it’s all the more important to get educated.\n\nSex Education Basics\n\nConsent\nThere might be no aspect of sex education more important than sexual consent. An incomplete or inaccurate understanding of how consent functions can, in a worst-case scenario, cause lasting and highly damaging trauma to a person. Not only that, but its effects can ripple out through time and place like a curse as that trauma impacts others second-hand.\n“Research has shown sex education that teaches sexual consent basics aids in preventing sexual abuse and assault, especially in high school and college,” says Poppel. “It is imperative that [...] students receive full sexual education and not just sexual risk-avoidance education.”\nRELATED: What Consent Does & Doesn't Look Like\nHow does consent work? It means you don’t do something to someone unless they want you to, and you stop doing it if they stop wanting it.\nIt also means you do your best to make sure they do want it, and are in a position to tell you honestly. That means people who are conscious and sober, not being implicitly or explicitly pressured, and old enough to legally consent.\nComfort\nBy then time they’ve started having actual sex with other people, most people have already internalized some form of shame or negative emotion about sex.\nWhether they’re subtle or very clear, we often pick up messages from the people around us or from the media that sex is bad. Experiencing desire can feel shameful, wanting to express desire can feel gross, and certain kinds of sex might seem more ‘right’ than others.\nNone of these things are true, but hearing them before you’ve heard anyone say otherwise can mean the impression sticks around for a long time. What we don’t hear are messages like this:\nSexual arousal, desire and attraction are all normal and healthy.People often begin experiencing them quite young, and there’s nothing wrong with that.Whatever your level of sexual desire — whether it’s very high, medium, or essentially non-existent, that’s not a sign that there’s something wrong with you.People have been aroused by all kinds of things throughout human history, and it’s perfectly OK to be aroused by something that other people don’t find sexy, or vice versa, so long as you’re not using it as an excuse to violate someone’s consent.Every kind of body can be desirable, and you can be sexy no matter what you look like.It’s normal and fine to be attracted to any gender of person, for your attractions to not be related to gender or gender presentation, and for your attractions to shift and change over time.\nAfter consent, perhaps the next most important thing to hear is that, no, you’re not weird. Not for that, or that, or even for thinking about nothing at all.\nAnatomy\nAnatomy is an aspect of sex that often gets covered, to some extent, in sex education. Knowing what body parts are called and what they do, however, is really more a medical education than a sex one.\nHowever, what many people don’t hear is that their bodies are attractive even when they don’t conform to a narrow set of standards shown on screens and billboards.\nFor male-presenting people, these standards are usually enforced less rigorously, but they can still give people unhealthy and unpleasant relationships with their bodies that can carry over to sex — like, for instance, a misplaced focus on the importance of penis size.\nRELATED: Why Penis Size Doesn't Really Matter\nAnother thing that’s often glossed over is the pleasure potential in people’s parts.\nMost guys recognize relatively young that it’s a lot of fun to touch their penis and to feel it touched by other people. What they might not realize is the importance of the clitoris, which cis women, trans men, and non-binary people assigned female at birth have.\n“Learning that the clitoris is equivalent to the penis is important,” says Kenneth Play, a sex educator and author of Beyond Satisfied. “Expecting a woman to cum without touching her clit is like expecting a man to cum without ever touching the head of his penis.”\nAnother anatomical aspect that gets overshadowed in sex education discussions is the anus.\nParticularly if you’re a man who’s attracted to men, giving and/or receiving anal pleasure can be a big part of your sexual experience.\nRegardless of sexual orientation or gender, some people find having their anus played with — with fingers, tongue, sex toys, or a penis — can be immensely pleasurable.\nNipples, too, can be intensely erogenous, but really, touching almost any body part can feel erotic when done in the right way by the right person.\nSafer Sex and Testing\nFor many people, sex education boils down to teaching young people how not to contract STIs, which is often a case of preaching abstinence or handing out condoms.\nAnd while proper condom usage is important, and highly effective preventing unwanted pregnancies and/or infection transmission, there’s more to safer sex than simply putting on a fresh condom every time you engage in penetration.\n“When we think about safer sex, we often think about condoms, but don’t consider testing,” says Jess O’Reilly, sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “The stigma that surrounds STIs is a significant barrier to safer sex. It holds us back from having important conversations. But if you’re willing to strip down and get as physically close as possible, shouldn’t you be able to talk about it?”\nShe suggests the following approaches for discussing getting an STI test with a sexual or romantic partner:\n“Combine it with the condom talk: ‘Do you have a condom? I have these, but if you prefer another, let me know. And when were you last tested? I was tested two months ago.’”“Share your own testing status first: ‘I was tested last month. How about you?’”“Do it together: ‘I’m going to get tested next month. Do you want to join me or were you tested more recently?’”\nLubrication\nWhile free condoms (and information about them) are a hallmark of basic sex ed, because risk-reduction is seen as more important than pleasure education, lubrication isn’t given the same kind of focus.\nRELATED: What Is Lube Shaming?\nBut under-lubricated sex can, in fact, be more dangerous, as it can lead to tearing in the anus or vagina, which can increase a person’s risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, or simply a bacterial infection.\n“Regardless of age, gender identity, sexual orientation or body type, lube can make sex safer and much hotter,” says O’Reilly. “The possibilities for sex play, pleasure, techniques, positions and orgasms multiply when you add the slippery stuff.”\nBecause vaginas typically self-lubricate, the perception often becomes that using lube for sex is a sign that the person who’s being penetrated isn’t turned on enough. But there are lots of reasons besides psychological arousal levels that might lead to insufficient lubrication, and there’s really no harm in adding a dash of lube to the mix, says O’Reilly.\nRELATED: The Best Lubricants for Anal Sex\n“Many people use water-based lube for penetrative vaginal sex and oral while using silicone for hand jobs, shower sex and anal — but it’s really a matter of personal preference,” she explains. “Silicone tends to be slicker and longer lasting, whereas water-based formulas will wash away more easily. Just don’t use silicone lube with silicone toys (use a water-based formula instead).”\nPleasure\nPerhaps the most special aspect of sex and sexual interactions is how good they can feel, both physically and psychologically.\nRELATED: How to Enhance the Male Orgasm\nMany young people start having sex without understanding either their own pleasure or their partner's pleasure, and thus are sometimes willing to put up with unpleasant, or even painful sex, because they’ve never been taught that, done right, sex should feel incredible.\nThis is a particular issue for women who sleep with straight men, as they’re often experiencing intimacy with people who haven’t been taught to know how to (or care about) giving them orgasms. This leads to something called the “orgasm gap,” a term for the disparity between how often men and women orgasm during sex with each other.\n“There’s an abundance of sexual health-related topics out there already, but pleasure education is truly lacking,” says Play. “I believe the orgasm gap is a skills gap, and if we don’t educate people on how to develop sexual skills, they will get their education elsewhere, like from porn. Porn sex is not good sex.”\nRELATED: The Difference Between Porn Sex & Real Sex\nPornography\nIn the midst of all the silence, secrecy, and euphemisms around how people discuss sex, it’s no surprise that Internet porn — free, readily available, and extremely graphic — has become a kind of de facto sex education for many young people, often the better part of a decade before they’re old enough to legally access such content.\nWhile porn may be able to show people what sex can look like up close and personal, mainstream pornography provides a very narrow and often misleading view of sex, over-emphasizing some aspects while leaving others completely out of the picture.\nRELATED: Why Porn Is a Terrible Form of Sex Education\n“Porn is entertainment — not education. You don’t learn to drive watching race car movies and you don’t learn how to navigate relationships watching reality television (hopefully),” says O’Reilly. “The same applies to porn. Enjoy it for what it is and accept any reaction you may have to it — from being put off to feeling neutral to being highly aroused. But don’t use it as a model for how you ought to have sex.”\n“Not only do you not see all the prep they do beforehand off-camera (e.g. conversations about consent, STI testing, discussions of boundaries and preferences, prepping their bodies, warming up, connecting with their on-screen partners),” she adds, “but much of what they do on-camera is for the camera — not for their own pleasure.”\nRELATED: Can Porn Be Bad for You?\nKink/BDSM\nOne thing that’s almost never explored in sex education is how desire functions in a real way.\nPeople often develop sexual proclivities for different things at quite young ages, and, looking back, adults are often able to trace their sexual kinks and fetishes to early erotic experiences.\nIt’s both useful and important to recognize early on that there’s no one way to be a sexual being, and that things that fall outside of what’s considered ‘mainstream’ or ‘vanilla’ sex aren’t anything to be ashamed of. If anything, they can connect you in meaningful ways to other people who feel aroused by the same or similar things.\n“The thing I wish everyone understood about kink — whether that’s kinky sex or living a BDSM lifestyle — is that there is no standard about what it looks like or what you can do,” says Kayla Lords, kink educator and co-host of the Loving BDSM podcast.\n“Not everyone,” Lords says, “is into choking. Not everyone is into bondage. Not everyone wears latex or leather. The stereotype of kink does everyone a disservice.”\nInstead, she says this: “The very first thing you should do in kink [is] start talking about it with your partner and learning what it is.”\nRELATED: How to Explain Your Fetish to Your Partner\nCommunication\nInformation on anatomy, comfort, lube, and kink can also be super useful when it comes to masturbation. But when it comes to engaging in sex acts with other people, however, you need to be able to talk to them about what’s happening between you.\n“Unfortunately, telling people to just ‘communicate’ is not specific enough advice to be useful,” says Play. “We have to give people a framework and then have them practice until they demonstrate that they have the skills to effectively communicate.”\nRELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner\nPart of good communication means dropping whatever scripts you may be holding onto and genuinely sharing and listening. That’s why O’Reilly advises you to forget gender roles when it comes to sex.\n“They’re highly likely to limit pleasure, expression and connection,” she says. “Instead of doing what you think you ought to do based on gender, do what feels good for you. This might involve considering multiple aspects of sex — the emotional, physical, relational, spiritual and practical. When we allow gender stereotypes to guide us, we often miss out on pleasure and connection and we can do harm in the process.”\nThat doesn’t mean you should drop to your knees and ask to be pegged (unless that’s what you want) but rather that you should consider whether the idea of the in-charge, dominant male sexual performer lines up with what you actually desire from sex.\nRELATED: Sexual Health & Sex Education Resources to Check Out\nBeing brave enough to be vulnerable, and sharing your authentic sexual self with someone can be scary, and it might not always lead to the acceptance you’re looking for. But if you never communicate your genuine desires to your sex partners, you might never get to experience the magic of genuine sexual connection.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nWhat to Do When You Have a Sexually Transmitted InfectionThe Science Behind How Erections Work, ExplainedBest Gay Sex Positions, Illustrated", "keywords": "Breaking, Down, the, Basics, Sex, Education", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2022/03/15-110538-breaking_down_the_basics_of_sex_education.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/breaking-down-the-basics-of-sex-education.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 08:09:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "133886", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Is Torturing My Life Because I Had An Affair That Brought Twins", "title_slug": "my-wife-is-torturing-my-life-because-i-had-an-affair-that-brought-twins", "title_hash": "a12b737c3740165c1cb328f9c7ae830b", "summary": "I am a man in my early forties, married for fifteen years, alive by breathing but dead in every other way. Some days I walk through Accra traffic like a …", "content": "

I am a man in my early forties, married for fifteen years, alive by breathing but dead in every other way. Some days I walk through Accra traffic like a ghost—seen, unseen, existing, but not living. My emotions are frozen and my spirit worn thin by years of waiting for a love that no longer answers me.

I did not come into marriage as a careless man. I came into it wounded. I lost my parents early and grew up learning survival before joy. Love, for me, was something I had to build from scratch. When I met my wife, she felt like home. She felt like the family I never really had. I gave her everything I didn’t receive growing up: affection, loyalty, protection, sacrifice. I wanted to love deeply, and I wanted to be loved back with the same intensity.

Our marriage was never perfect. We had arguments, misunderstandings, seasons of silence. But I stayed. I apologized even when I felt wronged. I bent because I believed marriage was not about winning, but about holding the home together. I believed endurance was love.

I supported my wife through university and then her master’s degree because I wanted her to rise. I wanted her to stand tall in the world, to be respected, to never feel limited because of marriage. Today, she is a senior manager, flying across borders, attending meetings in cities I only hear about afterward. Sometimes she leaves Ghana without telling me. I find out from my children when I go to visit them. That is how distant we have become. A husband and wife reduced to strangers sharing history.

When she lived with me, the home often felt empty even when she was present. This is a woman who wouldn’t cook and wouldn’t do anything at home, and I had to hold the fort for her because of her busy schedule. Even intimacy at times was a challenge. I complained, spoke to her, had heart-to-heart talks with her, but she wouldn’t change. Everything felt like a negotiation or a burden to her. I held the fort alone, emotionally and practically, telling myself that love means patience.

Then I made the mistake that changed everything.

I had an affair. Not out of pride or rebellion, but out of weakness and loneliness I didn’t know how to name. That affair produced twins. I did not hide it. I confessed. I was remorseful. At first, she seemed calm and understanding. I thought my sins had been forgiven. I was wrong.

What followed felt like war. She left our matrimonial home with our four children, then aged 13, 11, 8, and 6, and moved to her parents’ house. Families intervened. Pastors came. Counselors spoke. Elders pleaded. Even her own family was shocked when she refused every attempt at reconciliation and drove everyone away. That was five years ago.

Five good years have elapsed.

Five years of sleeping alone. Five years of calling a woman I still call my wife and waiting weeks for a reply to a simple “good morning.” Five years of watching my children grow from a distance. Five years of carrying guilt, shame, longing, and hope all at once. Five years of being judged silently while trying to hold myself together.

I have begged. I have apologized until my pride disappeared. I have accepted blame without excuses. I have asked for peace, not even perfection. But she will not come back. She will not sit down to talk. She will not forgive.

What hurts most is that I am judged by one mistake, while all the times I swallowed pain for the sake of peace are forgotten. I am treated as if my entire identity is that failure, as if fifteen years of commitment, provision, and love never happened. I am still providing. I am still a present father as much as I’m allowed to be. I am still standing.

Loneliness is not just being alone. It is being married and abandoned. It is loving someone who refuses to see you. It is waking up every day hoping today might be different, and every day realizing it is not. I have not touched another woman in five years. Desire is not my problem. My heart is. All I want is my wife. All I want is my family back.

I have seen counselors. I have prayed prayers that dried up in my mouth. I have asked God questions that echo without answers. Some days, the thought of giving up whispers to me, not loudly, but persistently. It tells me rest might be easier than waiting. It tells me maybe my children would forget. But deep down, I know that voice is lying. I know ending my life would only transfer my pain to the people I love most.

I ask myself questions that have no clear answers. Can one mistake define a man forever? Can love exist without forgiveness? At what point does waiting become self-destruction?

I am a very caring dad and always providing for my family. I want my family back, but this woman is just tormenting me. This was someone who was really desperate for marriage when we met, and I gave her my all. I am not a happy person. At times, I get suicidal, and it’s not funny. I have built all my happiness and love around her, and it’s difficult to move on.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I am not asking to be excused. I am not perfect. I failed. But I am also a man who loved deeply, sacrificed willingly, and stayed when leaving would have been easier. I am a man who still believes in marriage, even when it has broken him.

I am still here, still waiting for the day all this will end. I don’t know how much longer my heart can hold on. All I can do is do my best for the kids and hope she comes home one day.

—Steve

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*****

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A few days before Christmas, I fell sick and got admitted to the hospital. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but my dad assured me that we would go home soon. From morning till afternoon, dad would be at the hospital with me, and from late afternoon till the next morning, mom would also be with me.

Each dawn I would ask my mom, “Are we going home today?” Mom would respond, “Let’s wait and see what the doctor would say.” I didn’t even know the difference between a doctor and a nurse. I thought nurses were female doctors.

One afternoon, my two other siblings and a few kids we lived with in the same neighborhood came to visit. I had spent over a week in the hospital, some days too weak to even talk. When these guys came around, I don’t know where the energy came from, but all of a sudden, I was talking loudly and wanted to get down and walk.

They talked about everything that had been happening in the house and around the neighborhood while I was away. I missed home. I missed my friends. I wanted to be as healthy as them so I could go home. Then they brought Christmas into the conversation. Fiifi said, “I got my Christmas shoes and clothes yesterday. I’m wearing them to church tomorrow.”

Everyone talked about what they were excited about: food, parties, chicken, and soft drinks. I yearned for home immediately. When they left and I was alone, I started crying. Deep tears and sobs. One of the nurses I thought was a doctor, Aunt Beatrice, saw me crying and drew closer. “Andrews, what’s wrong with you? Why are you in tears?” I responded, “I want to go home for Christmas. My friends will have fun without me.”

She sat on my bed and tried to make me feel better. She said, “There’s Christmas everywhere. There will be Christmas here too tomorrow. Don’t be sad, OK? You’ll go home once you’re better.”

I still didn’t stop crying, but honestly, as a child growing up, I only stood aside and watched Christmas from the corner of my eyes. We were not bought new clothes and shoes because my parents couldn’t afford them. Dad was a carpenter. Mom sold little things in season. We hardly ate chicken or drank anything fancy unless, by grace, a neighbor brought us something fancy to eat.

When I woke up the next day, I knew it was Christmas, but nothing was happening at the hospital. I started imagining what my friends were doing in their Christmas hats and glasses. I imagined them jumping and playing in merry while I was stuck in a hospital bed.

When the sun came up, I saw Aunt Beatrice walk into the ward. There was a new kid who had been admitted at dawn, so we were only two in the ward then. The other kid was too sick to even know his own name. Aunt Beatrice shouted, “Merry Christmas.” I responded, “Same to you.”

My mom entered the ward. The mother of the other child also entered. My dad surprisingly appeared with my two other siblings. They wore smiles, as if they had good news to share. Aunt Beatrice went out and came back with a big basket of different things: biscuits, Fanta, fried chicken, a bowl of Jollof, and toffees.

She served me first and served my siblings. She asked us to sing Christmas songs while she shared food, drinks, and happiness. It felt like two things in one: Christmas and my birthday. I was at the center of the occasion. Everything was mine to share. My siblings were so happy and jealous, they wished they were the ones sick.

It lasted like forever. Afterward, Aunt Beatrice asked me, “I hope you enjoyed this Christmas?” I nodded. My mom added, “He’s lucky he’s sick. Where would he have gotten these to eat?”

My siblings took some of the food and drinks home, but there was still enough left for me to eat and drink the next day. To this day, the only Christmas I remember is that day. I never had anything better than that. Every Christmas throughout my younger days, I wished I was sick and admitted to the hospital.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I never saw Aunt Beatrice again after I was discharged. Maybe she’s not alive now, but if she is, merry Christmas to her wherever she is. She planted a beautiful memory in my heart, and I’ve carried it through the years.

—Andy

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*****

", "keywords": ", Was, Lucky, Sick, Christmas, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "41", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/337866.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-was-lucky-to-be-sick-on-christmas-day/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 07:51:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "133885", "lang_id": "1", "title": "On Christmas Eve, I Snuck Out to See My Boyfriend and My Father Found Out", "title_slug": "on-christmas-eve-i-snuck-out-to-see-my-boyfriend-and-my-father-found-out", "title_hash": "d2bc1cc26cac09636a884815e4487aae", "summary": "It was Christmas Eve in Nkawkaw, Eastern Region, and the air was buzzing with festive vibes. Red and green decorations were everywhere. I was in the kitchen, elbow-deep in cooking …", "content": "

It was Christmas Eve in Nkawkaw, Eastern Region, and the air was buzzing with festive vibes. Red and green decorations were everywhere. I was in the kitchen, elbow-deep in cooking prep with my stepmom, when Dad called out to me. “Hey, let’s roll! We’re getting drinks for the house!” He was taking me alone, leaving my siblings behind. I bounced out to the car, excitement bubbling inside me. It was 7:30 in the morning, and the sun was bright.

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But as we drove, I got confused. I knew the road to the mall, and this was not it. We pulled into the Ghana National Fire Service yard at Hotel Junction. My eyes widened in shock. This was not the grocery shop. Dad signalled for me to stay put, saying he would be back. Next thing I knew, we were in the GNFS office.

The officers there… if you should see their faces, eh. They looked like they had sucked on sour lemons. Even on Christmas, they had no joy at all. They frowned hard. One said to me, “We’re going to eat you for Christmas!”

If you knew my dad, you would understand. He was the “no-nonsense” type, with a reputation for being strict. We were the infamous “Cat and Mouse” duo in our neighbourhood. He would chase, and I would run. Punishments were usually canings or slaps. Everyone knew better than to mess with us.

The night before, I had been out gallivanting. I was a teenager in love with a boy, obviously. Dad had stopped by my room and found it empty because I had slipped out to see him, the love of my life at the time. Unbeknownst to me, my punishment was already booked.

Those officers? They were going to “drill” me. For my punishment, I had to kneel, crawl through broken palm kernel shells, and get whipped too. Trust me when I tell you, it was my nightmare. I crawled, sobbing, for thirty minutes, with sores forming on my knees. And my dad watched, showing no mercy. He did not give a hoot.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Afterward, I staggered, limping to the car, completely humiliated. We did not go to buy the drinks we were supposed to get. Nobody asked why. My guess is they were already part of the plan. It was not my Christmas vibe.

Now, it is Christmas, and I have a newborn. I am happy. But when I think of Dad, I can only shake my head and laugh.

Ama

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", "keywords": ", Christmas, Eve, Snuck, Out, See, Boyfriend, and, Father, Found, Out", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "43", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/44733.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/on-christmas-eve-i-snuck-out-to-see-my-boyfriend-and-my-father-found-out/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-28 07:51:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "133884", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Made Me Feel Like the Only Woman Alive Then He Ghosted Me", "title_slug": "he-made-me-feel-like-the-only-woman-alive-then-he-ghosted-me", "title_hash": "ff03a3ae1e96fea38ebcd355bfd762c5", "summary": "I think ghosting is the worst form of avoidance. It is the worst thing you can do to someone. FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR …", "content": "

I think ghosting is the worst form of avoidance. It is the worst thing you can do to someone.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

I met Albert, and he made me feel like I was the only woman on earth. Obviously I am not, but that is how he made me feel. Even without words, I felt like the queen in his kingdom. He bought me a phone the moment he saw mine giving me trouble. He did things for me without my asking, and I appreciated that so much. In this life I am living, I had never experienced such care. I was so happy. Instantly, I knew I trusted him.

Then his father passed away. Albert was preparing for the funeral, so we hardly talked or even texted. I understood. I was the one putting in the effort, going the extra mile, calling and checking in. When I asked if everything was okay, he said yes. I wondered if it was because I could not attend the funeral. He said no, far from it. I had sent him proof that my sister had been admitted to the hospital the day before, and I was the only one who could care for her. I could not have left her.

But the ghosting started weeks before the funeral. He went back to work afterwards, and still he was silent. My birthday came. He watched all my stories but did not wish me. When I asked, all he said was sorry. I tried so hard. I even apologized in case I had done something wrong. He said no, and that he was very sorry for the inconvenience.

We had spoken for nine months. So you should understand my emotional attachment to this man. And it hurts me so much, the silent treatment. Even now, since I stopped, everything has ended. But he still wishes other people happy birthday.

I had been single for so long. I had begun to believe it was all over for me, that the kind of connection which makes you feel seen was something I would never feel.
\nAnd then I did.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

He made me believe the fairy tale was real, just so he could write the cruelest ending. I am really hurting.

—Tina

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During Christmas in the early 90s, kids came together to build huts with palm fronds. In our community, that was when leadership skills were displayed. You went about recruiting other kids to help you put up a Christmas hut so they could have free entertainment in the hut.

One of these Christmases, I gathered four boys of my age group and we went into the bush to cut palm fronds to erect our Christmas hut. Ebo and his group also did the same. In our community, what happened was, when the hut was erected, on the eve of Christmas and throughout Christmas, you would organize a kids’ concert, where every kid was required to present a basket of palm kernel as an entry ticket.

Kids would only come to your hut if it was big and well constructed with decorations. So throughout, I told my guys we were going to build the biggest hut, and we did. Ours was bigger and stronger than Ebo’s, but he beat us with decorations and amenities. He was so clever he designed a portion where you’d pour your palm kernel and someone would open the gate once the kernel was sufficient.

He got all the praises while our hut stood miserably alone and uncared for. Everyone made it clear that they would rather attend the concert in Ebo’s hut than mine. I was hurt. My ego was bruised, especially when the girl I was crushing on chose Ebo’s hut.

So I did what jealous people do. The night before the concert, when everyone was asleep, I woke up in the cold harmattan weather and secretly destroyed Ebo’s hut. I broke down the section where he would receive the palm kernel, I removed the decorations and tore them to pieces. Piece by piece, I stayed up until dawn and brought Ebo’s hut to its knees, washed my hands clean, and went back to sleep.

I was the last to wake up. I was in bed listening to the wails coming from the disaster. Ebo was crying. Mothers were asking who could do such a thing. Fathers were blaming it on kids from the next neighborhood. I stayed in bed laughing in my head until someone asked, “Why is Ato’s hut still standing? Didn’t the destroyers see that one?”

I went out and saw Ebo’s defeated face. His friends who helped him build it were seated on the floor, feeling dejected and lost. My dad held my hand and dragged me inside. He said, “I’m asking you only one question. If you don’t tell the truth, I’ll beat you and lock you in this room until Christmas is over. When you woke up at dawn, where did you go?”

Unbeknownst to me, my dad had seen me walk out of the door, but he thought I was going to urinate. When I kept longer than normal, he thought I might have gone to the toilet. He didn’t see me come in because he fell asleep. He gripped both my hands together with just one hand and lifted the other and screamed, “Say the truth or else…”

I started singing my confession like a canary. “It’s true, I did it. Everyone liked his and I was hurt. I’m sorry; I won’t do it again.”

Dad left me inside and went out to talk to Ebo. I didn’t hear what he told him, but later, Dad organized all the boys around, including the boys on my team, to help rebuild Ebo’s hut. When they were done, it looked more glorious than what I’d destroyed. In the evening, my dad came home with decorations: proper Christmas lights in many colors and stickers.

My own team left me to join Ebo. My hut was a ghost town all through Christmas. The elders knew I was the destroyer because my dad told them, but the kids didn’t know, else they would have ganged up against me. I was alone and lonely all Christmas. I was so ashamed I couldn’t join the storytelling and fun activities happening in Ebo’s hut.

My dad told me, “There’s always going to be something bigger than yours. More beautiful than what you have. More liked by everyone than what you hold dear. You don’t go about destroying them. You either learn from them or join them.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

He didn’t say it exactly like I’ve said here, but it was something along the same line. I was ashamed and deflated, but I learned a lesson, and the lesson is in what my dad said. It’s been with me until this day. It’s guided my relationship with others, my choices in life, and even the kind of woman I married. I’ve never cheated on my wife because there’s always going to be a woman who has what my wife doesn’t have.

That’s how a lesson at Christmas became a life lesson.

—Frank

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*****

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Not long ago, my wife said something that pinched my ego. She sat me down one evening and told me, “My husband, please don’t be angry, but sometimes I feel your manhood is a little small for me.”

It was not easy to hear. But I respected her honesty. I just nodded and kept quiet.

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A few days later, something very unexpected happened. I came home tired one afternoon and relaxed on the couch. Just as sleep was catching me, I felt a sharp, painful sting.

I jumped up shouting, “Aww! What is this again?”

Only to realize it was an ant. Yes, an ant had passed all other places and decided to bite my manhood.

I scratched it thoroughly. Within minutes, I started to realize it was paining me more than any usual ant bite. It became hot. The head started swelling bigger and bigger.

I panicked and rushed to the clinic. The nurse told me the swelling would go down and that I should not worry.

True be told, the swelling reduced. But the shape did not return to normal. It stayed bigger.

At first, I thought maybe this would even help with my wife’s complaint. But the shape did not look right. It worried me.

When I told my wife, instead of being excited, she said, “Please, go and treat it properly. I do not want any strange shape near me. Bring it back to normal before we do anything.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I tried to get treatment again, but it has still not returned to normal. The head is still bigger than it was before the bite.

Now I am stuck between two things. My wife is clear. She wants it back the way it was. And me, I just do not understand what is happening.

—Kofi

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We live in a very small house, just a chamber and a hall, and yet since we got married, my in-laws have practically turned it into a transit station. My mother-in-law comes today, stays for a week, then leaves. Almost immediately after, my sister-in-law arrives and also stays for one or two weeks. Sometimes, before one leaves, the other joins. Since the day we married, my husband and I have barely had time alone as a couple in our own home.

They don’t come because there is an emergency. They don’t come because they have nowhere else to stay. They come simply to visit my husband. And while I understand that they are his family, I don’t understand why our small space has to constantly accommodate them. When they are around, they sleep in the hall. Our entire house becomes crowded. Privacy disappears. Peace disappears. Comfort disappears.

I tried to talk to my husband about it calmly. I explained how uncomfortable I felt, not because they are bad people, but because of the size of the space and how overwhelming it becomes when extra people are added. His response shocked me. He said, “They are not complaining about where they sleep, so why are you complaining for them?”

That wasn’t even my point. I told him, “It’s not about them complaining. It’s about us. This house is small. It becomes too full for no reason.” He brushed it off and said I was exaggerating, that I shouldn’t expect his family to stay away from him just because he’s married.

Then reality started hitting harder. One early morning, I rushed to the toilet only to find my sister-in-law inside. She stayed there for over fifteen minutes while I stood outside, my body clenched, sweating and uncomfortable. Other times, the same thing happens with the bathroom, especially when you are late for work or somewhere important. In your own house, you are queuing like a visitor.

I realized something then. If I stayed quiet, resentment would grow. I was just starting my marriage, and I didn’t want anger to poison it. So I made a decision. Anytime they came around, I would go to my parents’ house. They don’t live far, and the room I left there is still intact. There, I have space. I can breathe. I don’t have to rush or wait behind anyone in my own home.

When I told my husband my plan, he accused me of blowing the issue out of proportion. He said, “You’re behaving as if they take your breath away when they here. What’s wrong with you?”

I didn’t argue. I waited.

A few days later, his sister came again. I quietly packed some clothes. When he saw me leaving, he was so angry he couldn’t even speak. His sister asked where I was going, and I told her plainly, “To my parents’ house.” If she paid attention to my tone, she would have known I wasn’t pleased with her presence.

She stayed for two weeks. Their mother joined later, and suddenly our small house became their family house again. Meanwhile, I was at my parents’ home, enjoying calm, space, and peace. My husband called me, asking me to come back. I told him I would return after they left. I said, “They are your people. One day, when we live in a bigger house, they can come and take rooms. I won’t complain. But this situation, I can’t do it.”

When they finally left and I returned home, my husband turned the issue around on me. He said, “It’s not about space. You just hate them and trying every means to make me kick them out of my life but remember they were in my life long before you came.”

That hurt deeply because it wasn’t true. I don’t hate them. I hate the lack of boundaries. I hate feeling like a guest in my own marriage. I hate that my need for space is being twisted into hatred. He knows this, but he keeps pushing that narrative, hoping I will accept his version of the truth and surrender.

We are a young couple. We need space to bond, space to love, space to plan, space to grow. Space without constant interference. But instead of seeing that, he paints me as the villain.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I’ve done this three times now. Each time his mother or sister comes and stays for weeks, I leave. Isn’t that message loud enough? Maybe my husband tells them something else about my absence, but I am sticking to this plan until this issue is addressed.

So I’m asking you honestly, am I blowing this out of proportion? And the way I’m handling it, is it wrong to choose peace over constant discomfort in my own home?

—Natasha

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*****

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My wife complains a lot about what I don’t buy for her. According to her, I don’t buy clothes, wigs, shoes, or give her “wife allowance” the way other husbands do for their wives. Almost every argument we’ve had in recent times traces back to this same issue. She talks about her friends and how their husbands buy them things, spoil them, and give them money just because they are wives. Each time she brings it up, I feel smaller in my own house, like I am failing as a man even though I wake up every day and do my best.

I have never denied my responsibilities. I pay rent. I take care of utilities. I handle food in the house. When emergencies come up, I am the one who steps up. But according to her, that is not enough. She believes a good husband must still dip into his pocket to fund her personal lifestyle. I tried to explain my position calmly. I told her that I believe support should go both ways. “I will give you these things naturally if you support me. I won’t do everything financially around the house and still give you my money.”

She didn’t see it that way. To her, I was being stingy. She started comparing our home to her friends’ homes. She would say things like, “If I had married this one or that one, my life would be better.” Each comparison cut me deeply. I started feeling like I wasn’t enough, like no matter what I did, I would never measure up to the imaginary standard she had built from other people’s marriages. I kept quiet many times just to avoid arguments, but the resentment kept building.

One day, it all exploded. We had another argument about money and comparisons. She said things that made me feel useless. I lost my temper. I won’t pretend I handled it well. In a moment of anger and wounded pride, I pushed her out of the house and locked the door. Even as I write this, I know it sounds terrible, but at that moment, all I could feel was rage and humiliation.

I told her, “If you think your friends have better husbands, go and marry their kind and leave me in peace.” I left her outside for hours. At some point, I stopped hearing her voice. When I opened the door later, she was gone. That was when fear replaced anger. I called her phone repeatedly. No answer. I went to her parents’ house. She wasn’t there. Her father later told me she had called and said she was with a friend but refused to say where or which friend. Even her parents were worried.

I didn’t sleep that night. By morning, the weight of what I had done crashed on me. This is my wife. The woman I promised to protect. No matter how angry I was, I knew I had crossed a line. When she finally came home the next day, I apologized. I told her clearly that pushing her out would never happen again. I owned my mistake. I also told her how her constant comparisons hurt me and made me feel inadequate. I asked her to apologize too, not to win an argument, but so we could both acknowledge our wrongs.

She refused. She said she had nothing to apologise for. I didn’t force it because I was trying to keep the peace. Weeks have passed since then, and the house has not returned to normal. My wife is physically present but emotionally absent. She doesn’t talk to me unless it’s absolutely necessary. She moves around the house like a stranger. There is no warmth, no laughter, no companionship.

Even intimacy has become painful in its own way. She doesn’t participate. She just lies there, silent, detached, and afterwards turns her back to me and sleeps. No words. No affection. No connection. Each time, I feel rejected all over again. It feels like I am being punished endlessly even after apologizing.

Yes, I hurt her. I admit that. But I also feel like my pain doesn’t matter in this marriage. Her words, her comparisons, her constant dissatisfaction pushed me to a breaking point. Yet now, it feels like I am the only one expected to beg, bend, and fix everything alone. She refuses to acknowledge her role in how things escalated.

I want to make things right. I genuinely do. I don’t want my marriage to turn into a cold war where we just exist under the same roof. I want peace. I want understanding. I want us to talk, to heal, and to rebuild whatever was broken. But she won’t give me the chance. She has shut me out completely, and I don’t know how to reach her anymore.

I keep asking myself what else I should do. I’ve apologized. I’ve promised change. I’ve tried to be patient. Yet every day feels heavier than the last. I am beginning to feel like the villain in her story while my own wounds are ignored. I am not perfect, but I am not the monster she seems to see now.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So I’m asking, honestly and humbly, what should I do next? How do you fix a marriage when one person is ready to talk and the other has gone silent? How do you heal when accountability feels one-sided? I am tired of being compared, tired of feeling small, and tired of being punished even after saying sorry. I want my wife back, not this quiet stranger who sleeps beside me.

—Freddie

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*****

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I have been with him since I started university in 2021. He was a young man who drank, and I chose to look past it. I told myself it was just a phase. I believed that marriage and time would change him. We lived together, and I would clean his mess, the scattered bottles, the vomit on the floor, all while believing this was temporary.

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When a scandal kept him from graduating, when he was told to redo an exam, I stood by him. I held his hand and swore, “By fire, by thunder, you and I will die together.”

In my final year, I became pregnant. We decided to keep our baby. School was almost done. By my last exam, I was eight months along. After graduation, he took me to live with his sister. He had no job, but she promised to support us until we found our footing. She kept her word.

All that time, the drinking never stopped. Then came the violence. He would hit me and hurt me. Afterwards, his family would step in to apologize for him. Slowly, I would let my guard down and forgive. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was the certainty they sold me that it would never happen again. It happened twice before he seemed to change. He started going to church. I thought his transformation had truly come.

Then our son arrived, handsome and perfect. For a while, things were solid. But he returned to the drinking spots, worse than before. The violence grew so bad I fled to my sister’s. I did not tell my parents. I only returned after his family helped us settle it.

His sister helped us open a small hotel. We were managing it well until one day, for a reason I still do not know, he came home and knocked me so hard on the eye I could not see. He beat me brutally, cutting me with iron sheets. I was rushed to the hospital. My eye was saved, but I lost blood and it needed time to heal.

This time, when my parents came, they were not there to talk. They came to take me home. They took my son, my things, and me. I heard later that when he woke up sober, he sold items from the hotel and even the blender I bought for our son. Then he disappeared.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

It has been three weeks. Now he calls to confess. He has asked everyone we know to plead for him. He says he will never do it again. He came to my home, knelt down, and begged me to come back.

But I have not healed. Inside, I am still broken. I know I should not go back. Yet his remorse makes me rethink everything. Please, I need help.

—Julie

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One day, my sister mentioned a friend of hers. She said this friend, named Fred, used to live in Ghana but had also relocated to the United Kingdom. My sister said Fred had asked for my phone number. You know those kinds of situations and what they usually mean, but I agreed anyway and told her she could share my number.

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Not long after that, I received a notification on my phone. It was Fred, texting me. I don’t know if I would call him persistent, but that’s the word I would use. Fred started calling me almost all the time. It was too much, if you ask me. One day he would say, “I like you.” The next day, “I like you.” And the day after, you guessed it, “I like you.”

Sometimes I got really angry because he called too much. Every time he called, he tried to act like a player, a bad boy, or whatever you call it. He always said naughty things. On video calls, he made me take off my wig, then told me to stand up so he could see my body shape. After that, he asked if I had big hips or a big butt. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

Let’s say I was sleeping and he called. If I told him I was sleeping, he still wanted me to talk and listen to him. It was so hard to deal with him.

Recently, I got very sick. I had a bad cold, the flu, and body pains everywhere. When I told him on the phone, he didn’t care or show any kindness. He just said he missed me and asked me to show him my room on video. I thought that was too much, because I was so tired and weak.

I was in the kitchen on the video call when he insisted I show him my room. It felt like he just wanted to see if I was rich or poor. This is a guy who was poor in Ghana and only just got the chance to go to the UK.

I told him I was tired and needed rest, but he said, “Don’t say you’re tired… keep talking to me.” He didn’t care that I was sick. In the end, I lied and said my aunt was calling me so I could stop the call and rest.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Now my sickness is even worse. I can’t even walk properly, and the cold and flu are getting stronger. This boy hasn’t called to check on me at all. He hasn’t spoken to me since. But my friends are sending messages to wish me well.

My mom has spoken to him on the phone before, and she says he’s not a correct person. I think she’s right.

—Mimi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "When, Asked, Remove, Wig, Video, Call, Should, Have, Ended, There", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/43369.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-he-asked-me-to-remove-my-wig-on-video-call-i-should-have-ended-it-there/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-24 10:32:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "133043", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Boys Are Taught Not to Feel: The Cost of ‘Being a Man’", "title_slug": "when-boys-are-taught-not-to-feel-the-cost-of-being-a-man", "title_hash": "3c847c859973062e84ce1881eebc2fff", "summary": "Teaching boys that certain emotions are not acceptable is destructive to them and those around them. Learn what boys actually need to thrive.\nThe post When Boys Are Taught Not to Feel: The Cost of ‘Being a Man’ appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Teaching boys that certain emotions are not acceptable is destructive to them and those around them. Learn what boys actually need to thrive.

The post When Boys Are Taught Not to Feel: The Cost of ‘Being a Man’ appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "When, Boys, Are, Taught, Not, Feel:, The, Cost, ‘Being, Man’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-1485688689.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/when-boys-are-taught-not-to-feel-the-cost-of-being-a-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-24 10:02:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "132935", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Raise Your Value as a Man (Sexually and Otherwise)", "title_slug": "how-to-raise-your-value-as-a-man-sexually-and-otherwise", "title_hash": "b40457c38c1b8342658e88160a729dee", "summary": "To get more & better girls, you must be a better MAN. How? By raising your VALUE as a man along five (5) key paths: desirability, dominance, status, appearance, & trust.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"what$ To get more & better girls, you must be a better MAN. How? By raising your VALUE as a man along five (5) key paths: desirability, dominance, status, appearance, & trust.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Raise, Your, Value, Man, Sexually, and, Otherwise", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/how-to-raise-your-value-as-a-man-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-raise-your-value-man-sexually-and-otherwise", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-24 09:55:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "132934", "lang_id": "1", "title": "47 Last-Minute Christmas Gifts 2025", "title_slug": "47-last-minute-christmas-gifts-2025", "title_hash": "f87f30c0afb83abb67490d1c5b753b9d", "summary": "Fifteen great X-Mas gift ideas for men.", "content": "OK, there's only a week (or less) to go until Christmas and you’re still sans gift for several of your family and friends. No judgment –we’ve all been there once or twice. The holidays just seem to sneak up on you. Whether you made a gift list and got distracted or just kept putting it off till tomorrow, we’ve got you.\nRELATED: Top Christmas Gift Ideas for Men\nEven if you are down to the bitter last second, never fear. There are still a ton great Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers out there for your loved ones that didn’t come from that 24-hour corner store on Christmas Eve — especially if you’re on the hunt for the perfect gift for that special someone in your life. TRUST US, they will know if you didn’t put any thought into your present.\nSo even if you’re frantically shopping the night before the big day, take a peek at this handy last-minute gift guide, take a deep breath, and know that it'll all work out in the end. \n\nLast-Minute Christmas Gift Ideas\n\nAmazon Kindle Paperwhite\n\n\nThere's basically no scenario where a Kindle doesn't make a perfect gift, since disliking reading is a bit like disliking music — crazy, right? The Kindle Paperwhite can hold more digital books than anyone could hope to read in a lifetime, while its vibrant, 7\" display and 12-week battery life make it nearly indistinguishable from its non-digital alternative, while taking up a whole lot less space.\n$159.99 at Amazon.com\nSamsung Galaxy Buds 3\n\n\nIf they are still using wired headphones, a Bluetooth earbud set is a fail-safe holiday gift choice. This model from Samsung fits nicely into the ears and provides an immersive sound experience thanks to its built-in noise cancellation.\n$249.99 at Amazon.com\n...I should have known that! Trivia Game\n\nThe great thing about gifting a game is that it provides built-in entertainment for the holiday season. Suitable for all ages of the family, this trivia game, centered around questions that you really should know the answer to, is set to bring an evening of laughter.\n$19.82 at Amazon.com\nNational Parks Pass\n\nTraveling isn’t easy in 2020, but if they are going to safely take an adventure, one that’s outdoors is the way to go. With an annual pass to the National Parks, they can hit up their neighboring park throughout the year, or visit others on road trips in months to come. \nFind out more at USParkPass.com\nSakara Meal Program\n\nIf their goals for the new year are set around making healthier eating choices, this gift might be the catalyst they need to actually tackle their resolution. Through Sakara’s meal program, they will have fresh meals, supplements, and teas sent right to their door. You can coordinate when and how often packages are sent to suit their lifestyle and your budget. \nFrom $161/week at Sakara.com\nAudible Subscription\n\nWhen it comes to last-minute gifting, a fully digital, no-wrapping-required gift can’t be beaten. Enter Audible. Not only are the audiobook subscriptions affordable (30-days free trial, followed by one book credit per month for $14.95), but it allows readers to experience books in a new way. \nFind out more at Audible.com\nPolaroid Lab - Digital to Analog Polaroid Photo Printer\n\nNo matter if you're shopping for your sister, mom, best friend, or boyfriend, odds are they have a ton of great photos on their phone that they haven't got around to printing. This innovative gadget is set to change that. All they have to do is pop their phone on top and at the push of a button their selected image will come out as a high-quality Polaroid print.\n$139.99 at Amazon.com\nAmazon Echo Dot\n\n\nTechy or not, there aren’t many people who wouldn’t love finding an Amazon Echo Dot under the Christmas tree. Think of it as the go-to present for anyone on your list. Not only can this gadget play tunes but it can control smart home devices, call an Uber, or even order a pizza – all through voice commands.\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\n\nRELATED: Christmas Gift Ideas for Women\n\nRidge Wallet\n\n\nHoliday shopping for multiple people at once? Look to the Ridge wallet. Sure, they might have a wallet already, but it likely doesn't provide durability and RFID blocking like the Ridge. Not to mention, Ridge wallets come with a lifetime warranty. \n$95 at Amazon.com\nBook of the Month Club Subscription\n\nShopping for bookworms can be tricky. You know they love nothing more than hunkering down with a good read, but keeping tabs on what they’ve read can be challenging. That's where Book of the Month Club comes in. Each month your giftee can have their pick of the lit from BOTMC’s five selected reads for the period. \nFind out more at BookOfTheMonthClub.com\n23andMe Ancestry\n\nEveryone has a DNA story, or so this ancestry service claims. 23andMe helps people tap deeper into their family tree by offering direct-to-consumer genetic testing to determine their genealogy. No blood. No needles. All safe and secure. It accomplishes this by analyzing a subject’s saliva and sharing the results in six to eight weeks. \n$99 at Amazon.com\nGlerups Slippers\n\nWhen it comes to selecting the perfect Christmas gift, you can't go wrong with something cozy. And these boot-slipper hybrids have coziness in spades. Composed of 100 percent pure, natural wool, which naturally wicks away moisture, they are designed to keep feet warm and dry in any condition. \nFrom $104.95 at Amazon.com\nBouqs Flowers\n\nBouqs offers two options for the last-minute gifter. A) You can hit up the Next-Day Flower Delivery tab and select one of the many gorgeous floral arrangements to send their way or B) You can give them a subscription so they can receive beautiful blooms throughout the year.\nPrices vary at Bouqs.com\n\nRELATED: Stocking Stuffers for Men\n\nPeloton App\n\nWhile the Peloton bike itself might be out of your budget and time restraints, the app alone makes for a pretty stellar gift. Through the app, they will have access to thousands of classes, ranging from strength training and yoga to running, that they can complete on any piece of equipment.\n$12.99/month (first 30 days free) at Onepeloton.com\nMasterClass\n\nVia an annual MasterClass all-access pass, they can dabble in a variety of disciplines and literally, learn something new every day. From Serena Williams teaching tennis to David Sedaris teaching storytelling, the caliber of teachers and range of disciplines available on this platform is truly impressive – and it only continues to grow. \nFind out more at Masterclass.com\nMcBride Sisters Wine Club\n \nWith red, white, rose, and sparkling wines sourced from California and New Zealand, the McBride Sisters’ Wine Club will guarantee that they have a top-notch bottle ready for celebrations big and small for months to come. \nFrom $125 at McBrideSisters.com\nCathy's Concepts Personalized Slate and Acacia Wood Cheese Board Set\n\nThe great thing about a gift like this personalized cheese board set is that it feels very planned out, even if it was purchased at the last minute. If you will be seeing your giftee in person, pair this with some of their favorite cheeses or charcuterie to take it to the next level.\n $49.99 at Amazon.com\nCraft Beer Club \n\nGive the gift of a great brew and they’ll have no idea you snagged this at the last minute. A membership to Craft Beer Club won’t only guarantee that there’s always a beer in the fridge when they need one, but it will introduce them to new small-batch varieties from all over the world.\n$44.75 for 12 beers/month at CraftBeerClub.com\nRavensburger Puzzle\n\nPuzzles have had a resurgence in popularity this year, as people look for more ways to stay entertained sans devices while staying safe at home. While there are a ton of puzzle brands on the market, Ravensburger’s options are always high quality and the brand has an extensive array of options to choose from.\nFrom $6.40 at Walmart.com\nBig Island Coffee Roasters Subscription \n\nA coffee subscription is a gift that keeps on giving. And when it’s as tasty as Big Island Coffee Roaster's unique Hawaiian freshly-roasted options, you’re golden. \nFrom $35 at BigIslandCoffeeRoasters.com\nVinyl Records\n\nIf you know your giftee has a record player, new vinyl records always serve as a perfect present. \n From $9.99 at Walmart.com\n\nRELATED: Stocking Stuffers for Women\n\nHerbivore Detox Soaking Salts\n\n\nAfter the stressful year we’ve had, a relaxing, quiet bath feels like a gift in itself. Still, you can upgrade the at-home spa time with this bath soak. In addition to having a pleasant tropical coconut scent, it leaves skin feeling soft and moisturized.\n$22 at Amazon.com\nEnno Vatti 100 Movies Scratch Off Poster\n\nThis affordable gift not only serves as a unique decorative print for their wall, but a challenge to tackle for the new year. Featuring 100 of the most iconic movies of the past several decades, each square is meant to be scratched off after the film has been watched.\n$17.99 at Amazon.com\nSur la Table Online Cooking Class\n\nCooking classes are a ton of fun for avid home chefs and inexperienced novices alike. While they can’t attend one in person right now, through Sur la Table, you can set them up for an interactive online course to be completed from the comfort of their kitchen. \nFrom $29 per household at Surlatable.com\nTile Black & White (4-Pack)\n\n\nSo you have your main gift but your behind on stocking stuffers? Look to the Tile. Purchase a set and pop one in every loved one's stocking. They all have belongings they should be keeping tabs on, right?\n$99.99 at Amazon.com\nBirchbox & Birchbox Man\n\nDoes your recipient like makeup or have a thing for grooming? A Birchbox subscription will be right up their alley. Every month, a curated box of beauty and grooming products will show up on their doorstep, jam-packed with the hottest items on the market.\nFind out more at Birchbox.com\nThe North Face Etip Glove\n\nOK, let’s face it. It gets really cold in the winter. The worst part of that is, even in the frigid months, we make our hands face the frigid temps in order to answer a text or request an Uber. The North Face’s ETip gloves are here to save their digits, thanks to a special finger pad with touchscreen capabilities.\n$45 at Amazon.com\n\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Golfers\n\nBrüMate Hopsulator Juggernaut Can Cooler\n\n\nA good gift is often one that solves a problem, and there are few problems more annoying than lukewarm beer. This high-quality can cooler from BrüMate uses a combination of copper and stainless steel to keep drinks 20x colder than standard neoprene can coolers, and because of its extra-large size, it can even fit \"tall boy\" cans of up to 25oz in volume. The push-lock system holds the can steady while the insulated exterior prevents condensation buildup, which also makes it a lot more comfortable to hold in the hand.\n$24.99 at Amazon.com\nAmazon Fire TV Stick 4K\n\n\nOne of the best media streaming devices to hit the market, the Fire Stick is definitely one to watch out for. It plugs into a TV's HDMI port and allows them to tune into practically any streaming service – via remote or voice command.\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\nHeadSpace Subscription\n\nHelp your giftee get their zen on in the new year with a subscription to Headspace. Their membership includes new meditations daily, in addition to sleeping sounds, bedtime exercises, and access to a library of themed courses.\nFrom $69.99 for the year at Headspace.com\nThemed Monopoly\n\nMost people have played Monopoly, but how many actually have their own game at home? Upgrade their game closet this holiday season and show you've been paying attention with a themed Monopoly that calls out to their interests and personality. From The Avengers and Nintendo to National Parks, the board themes are seemingly endless.\nFrom $9.97 at Amazon.com\nBreville Vertuo Coffee and Espresso Machine\n\nPrepare to be crowned gifting king when you present this gift in the early waking hours on Christmas morning. Not only does this espresso machine prepare cafe-quality espresso at the click of a button, but it comes with a milk frother so they can serve up delicious lattes and cappuccinos. \n$169.95 at Amazon.com\nUGG Bliss Oversized Blanket\n\n\nYou can never have too many cozy blankets, right? The perfect cure for winter blues, this Christmas gift idea is best for warming up on chilly weekend mornings or tossing on the back of the couch as a sharp accent piece.\n$91.95 at Amazon.com\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tChristmas Gift Ideas for Parents\n\tBest Fitness-Themed Gift Ideas\n\tBest Christmas Gift Ideas for Boyfriends", "keywords": ", Last-Minute, Christmas, Gifts, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/last-minute-christmas-gifts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1765210157.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/last-minute-christmas-gifts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-24 09:55:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "132752", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Think Marriage and Responsibility Turned My Husband Into a Monster.", "title_slug": "i-think-marriage-and-responsibility-turned-my-husband-into-a-monster", "title_hash": "81f0c48df8c77d315d1abc236535da10", "summary": "When I married my husband, I never for once thought he would turn into a monster. All I saw when I set my eyes on him was love, care, and …", "content": "

When I married my husband, I never for once thought he would turn into a monster. All I saw when I set my eyes on him was love, care, and protection. The man who was going to father my babies. I didn’t think he would turn into a monster towards me, his own wife, and my family.

We got married and everything was going well, like husband and wife, until my husband changed. But honestly, I thought he would change for the better.

One evening, I closed from work, and a neighbour saw me and said my husband doesn’t greet him when he is passing. He asked me to talk to him so he would greet him. When my husband came home, I told him everything jokingly, not knowing he would be offended. He pushed me out of the room and locked the door. I was only three months pregnant with our first child. In fact, that day was the day I saw the real behaviour of my husband. I was crying and knocking for him to open, but he wouldn’t, not until he was satisfied to open the door for me to enter.

Later, he apologized, and yes, I decided to forgive him.

Three months later, he came to my shop to ask for the money I was owing him. I gave him the money calmly. I did not know that some of it had fallen down. I did not see it. He also did not tell me.

I only found out the next morning when I came to open the shop. I had to call someone to help me open it. I went out briefly to buy something, and when I came back, he had returned and locked the shop again. He told me I had no right to open it. He warned me that if I dared to open it again, he would deal with me.

This was the shop I opened with my own savings from my national service.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

\n>

After he closed from his own work, I opened the shop. So he came and destroyed everything inside, which caused people to come around and look at him. I cried that day.

I gave birth last December. I came to my parents, and nothing is pushing me to go to him again.

Am I making the right decision? I need advice.

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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My mom wonders why, at my age, I still ‘steal’ meat in my own house. She lives with me now. When she’s cooking and I enter the kitchen, she knows I need something. So she would ask, “What do you want?” I would walk around, stare at the meat she is frying, and leave the kitchen. Once she leaves the kitchen for a little moment, I would sneak in, take a piece of meat, and use the back door out of the house.

Recently she asked me, “You’re stealing your own meat in your own house? Something that you paid for? It’s yours, and I don’t have any problem if you take it, so why hide and take it?”

I haven’t forgotten what she did to me on Christmas Day in the nineties. She had fried chicken, and the aroma was blasting through the whole house. At night, she covered the meat nicely and placed it on a table so that the next day, she would cook jollof with it.

I waited until everyone had slept and stealthily entered the kitchen. I took a thigh and started eating in the kitchen. A few minutes later, I heard footsteps approaching. I quickly threw the bone behind the cupboard and cleaned my mouth. I picked up a cup, fetched water, and pretended I was drinking. When my mom entered and saw me, she asked, “What are you doing in the dark?” I responded with a voice that sounded like I was sleeping and had just woken up, “I came to drink water.”

I left the kitchen before she did and went to sleep.

The next day, I leaned my ears against the walls, trying to listen through the grapevine if I would hear that a piece of meat was missing. No one mentioned that. I smiled in my head for the victory I’d claimed.

Later in the afternoon, the jollof was ready. We were about six children in the house, so when your name was called, you would go to the kitchen and collect your food. One after the other, everyone entered and came out with a large piece of chicken on their jollof. I was seated waiting for my turn, but Mom came to where I was seated with a bowl of jollof and placed it in front of me and said, “Finish what you started last night.”

I looked on top of my food, and all I saw was the dry bone I threw behind the cupboard. She should have at least dipped the bone in stew, but she didn’t. She placed it on top, dry and miserable. I could even see marks of ant bites on the bone. My siblings looked at my food and didn’t understand what was going on, but I ate with grace, thinking I deserved the punishment. But that wasn’t the end of it.

At night, before I went to bed, Dad was waiting for me with his belt. “So you got the guts to steal the meat meant for the whole house?” he asked. “I can’t raise a thief under my roof.” The belt landed haphazardly behind my back and all over my body.

The next morning was Christmas Sunday. I wore my Christmas dress over broken skin and walked stiffly to church. I couldn’t even lean my back on the chair because of the body pain. I sat stiff until church closed and we came back home.

When my siblings went out to play and went to neighbors’ houses for parties, I couldn’t go because of body pains. They came back with bottles of Fanta and a lot of biscuits. They didn’t give me any. I swore I would never steal again.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So even in my adult age, picking meat that’s not on top of my own food feels like stealing. So I wait until my wife or my mom leaves the kitchen before I take a piece. Yes, it’s mine, but I still take it when eyes are not watching. Just last night, I did the same thing. When my mom saw me, we both smiled and walked past each other. I don’t know what was going through her head, but in my head, I remembered the bone story from the nineties.
\n#OurChristmasStories

—Dave

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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My best friend dated my brother for over a year before they broke up. The relationship ended badly after a fight that happened right in front of me. My brother screamed, “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to my life.” Eunice responded, “Do you think you’re a better man? You’re a curse I carried gracefully, and I’m happy I get to put it down today.”

I saw their relationship. It was occasionally turbulent. Eunice would run to me and complain about my brother. I would tell her, “Leave him, or don’t come and complain to me again.” They would fight, but none of their fights was physically or verbally venomous. So when no one was watching, both of them coiled back into love and pretended nothing happened.

Even after the last fight, I had a little bit of hope that they would come back again, but looking at what they said to each other and the details of the fight, they didn’t. They moved on with their lives, and two years later, Eunice got married. I was her maid of honor that day because no one could do it better than me.

I always told Eunice she got a better man. Her husband is a very cool man who travels out of the country to buy stuff and comes back to sell it. So most often he’s out of the country. He has money and is comfortable in life. He’s not someone who would give Eunice trouble. Even Eunice herself told me one day, “My husband is the best thing that ever happened to me. It looks like God took me away from the storm and placed me quietly in his garden of peace.”

These were her own words at the beginning of the marriage, but not long afterwards, Eunice started cheating on the same man she said was the best thing that ever happened to her. And guess who she’s cheating with…my brother! The same person she called a curse. It all made sense to me when people say women don’t know what they want.

They tried to hide it from me at the beginning, but immediately I found out that the two of them were talking again, I was like, “What in the name of hell would these two talk about?” I asked Eunice. She told me, “Oh, but you know both of us are not enemies?” I told her, “Even when you were not married, you didn’t talk to him the way you do currently. Please stop it before flames rekindle.”

As if I was a prophet, one evening, my brother posted a photo on his status from a place that looked like he was having fun. A few minutes later, Eunice also posted a photo of herself from the same background. I texted her, “Where are you and who are you with?” She responded, “Ah, why are you asking me a question like I was a kid?” I said, “You’re with my brother; say the truth.”

She denied it until I sent a screenshot of my brother’s status to her. Even then, she still denied it and later pulled down the photo she had posted. I went to see her the next day. I told her, “I know what’s going on, and you know I know the truth. Hear me out. Don’t use the past to destroy the beautiful thing you have going on in life. Remember what you yourself told me about your husband. Eunice, stop it!”

That day, she gave me her word that she would stop. She told me sometimes she felt lonely because her husband wasn’t around often. I told her, “I’m still your friend. I can be with you when you’re lonely.” She smiled and jokingly said, “Can you give me that one too when I need it? Leave there!”

Six months later, she still sees my brother. I decided to tackle the issue from my brother’s side since she was not listening to me. When I spoke to my brother about it, he snarled at me, “Mind your business. Who are you to advise me? A kettle calling the pot black.”

I was resolute because what the two of them were doing hurt every fiber in me, especially when I know the kind of man Eunice’s husband is. I told my brother, “If you don’t stop chasing married women, I would tell Mom and Dad about it.” He laughed and said, “You think I’m still a baby? Go and tell them.”

I called my dad and told him everything. He asked, “You mean your own friend Eunice?” My dad called my brother and went crazy on the phone, “Herh Kweku Baah, do you know the curses you’re bringing upon yourself by sleeping with someone else’s wife? You’re unknowingly reducing your time here on earth, but you don’t know. I promise you, if you don’t stop, I’ll personally look for Eunice’s husband and tell him everything.”

That did not stop my brother from chasing Eunice. I was like, “If he loved her that much, then why did he leave her?” I’ve stopped talking to Eunice. She annoys me and shames the friendship we both have. Because I don’t talk to her, she has no other reason to care, so she does it boldly now.

My dad has been calling to ask about them. “Are they still doing it? Have you spoken to your friend?”

I tell him they are still at it and are even getting stronger and bolder. He said, “Get me the man’s number. If you can’t tell him, I will do it myself.” I told him, “But Dad, why don’t you talk to Eunice first?” He answered, “A woman of her kind doesn’t deserve that kind of respect. You’ve talked to her. That’s enough.”

Now, I’m in a tight corner, thinking whether I should get the number for my dad or not. My friend’s marriage is at stake. Regardless of everything, I feel she loves her husband. Whenever they are together, she posts photos of their outings and trips and gives them alluring captions. She looks happy in the marriage, and I don’t want to be the girl whose name would be attached to their divorce.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Some days, I want to mind my business. It looks like I’m getting too worried about a life that isn’t mine. But other times, I want to do something about it because when the shame comes, my name will go with it. I was the bridesmaid but watched on as my brother slept around with the bride. What a story that would be. It’s the reason sometimes I want to do something about their relationship. The bigger picture doesn’t look good. The smaller one is even worse, so what should I do?

—Philo

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*****

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My mom died last year. On her obituary poster, they wrote her name as Rosemary Ansah Aka, Maame Nti. I looked at the poster and smiled to myself. I said, “So this woman died with this name?”

Nti wasn’t her name. I was there the day she got that name. I was fourteen going on fifteen. That day I cried, but today, I remember and smile and feel grateful for how far the Lord has brought me.

Nti means “So.” It’s a Twi word, like saying “Nti diɛn?” meaning, “So what?”

My mom’s Nti is that kind of Nti. She got that name during Christmas. Now, let me tell you how it happened. Life was very hard growing up. Dad wasn’t doing very well in life. My mom prepared banku in a big pot and sold it in front of our house. We didn’t have to tell anyone we were poor. It showed in the way we talked, the way we dressed, the way we ate. Poverty was our culture.

Along the line, Dad died. He was sick for a year and then left us peacefully one dawn. He died poor, or you could say he died out of poverty. That’s a nice way of saying poverty killed my dad. My mom became a one-man band. She played all the instruments of life alone to produce the music her kids would enjoy.

My mom had a friend, a farmer who liked my mom for no reason. He was called Bentil. He would bring my mom maize from his farm and end up spending a whole night with my mom talking and laughing. When he caught a grasscutter on his farm, he brought my mom half. If he caught a bird, he brought it to my mom.

One Christmas morning, my mom rushed home holding a huge fowl and singing songs of gratitude to God. I understood her happiness quickly because of the fowl in her hand. She said, “Look at what Bentil brought us for Christmas. Get up, look for cassava. We also deserve a good aroma from our kitchen.”

A few minutes later, the head of the fowl was gone and it had been dipped into hot water. Mom placed it in a tray and told me, “Pluck off the feathers. Make sure not a single tiny bit of hair is left on the skin.”

I set to work, and a few minutes later, the chicken went completely bald in my hand. Mom placed it on a wooden table to begin cutting it to pieces. Before the first slice, a woman cried out from the outside: “My fowl is missing. It’s white and grey on the chest. If you know it accidentally entered your house, kindly release it. But if you’ve stolen it, rest assured that you won’t live to see the new year.”

I plucked the feathers, so I knew the color of the fowl we had fit exactly what the woman was describing. Mom stopped the cutting and looked at my face. I also looked at her. I saw guilt and worry on her face, but she went on cutting the chicken to pieces. Several minutes later, the woman passed by again, carrying the same message: “My chicken is missing. It’s white with grey on the chest. If you’ve stolen it, you won’t live to see the new year.”

I was scared. Curses were not something you joked with in those days. She said, almost in whispers, “Do you think Bentil would steal a fowl and give it to me as a gift?” I responded, almost in whispers, “But the colors are the same as the woman is describing. Why don’t you talk to her?”

She didn’t mind me. She continued making the soup with the chicken. I started getting scared when the aroma of the soup started flying out. I wish I had the power to arrest the aroma and throw away the keys. Everyone in the neighborhood knew we couldn’t afford chicken, so for chicken aroma to escape from our kitchen meant we were the first suspect of the crime.

The soup was almost ready when the woman passed by again; this time she stood in front of our house for a while, announcing the calamity that would befall anyone who stole her fowl. My mom quickly dashed out of the kitchen, held the woman’s cloth, and asked, “Nti akokɔ yɛtɔ ne sɛn aa wopɛsɛ wo bɔ dua kum abusua?” To wit, “So how much is a fowl that you want to kill a whole family because of it?”

Everyone around started jeering, calling my mom a thief and teasing me as the child of a thief. By the time my mom got the chance to explain how she got the fowl, the story had already gone viral that my mom had stolen another woman’s fowl. That was the day her name changed. They’d see my mom and whisper within themselves, “Nti akokɔ yɛtɔ ne sɛn?”

My mom didn’t rest. She used all her energy to clear her name. Bentil accepted responsibility and was made to pay for the fowl, but my mom’s new name stuck like scarlet in wool. With time, they shortened her name to “Nti.” Comfort eventually becomes Connie. Agnes becomes Aggie. Every name has its short form, so ‘Nti akokɔ yɛtɔ ne sɛn’ eventually became Nti. Short and simple. Those who wanted to add respect to her name called her Maame Nti.

She stopped fighting the name. She became at peace with it, knowing they were never going to stop. In her playful mood, when you called her Nti, she added, “Akokɔ yɛ sɛn?”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Chicken was a delicacy we saw only during Christmas. Every home, no matter how poor, slaughtered a chicken, and once Christmas was over, chicken season was also over. Today, what’s chicken? What food joint doesn’t sell chicken? Who can’t afford chicken? Akokɔ nam yɛ sɛn? Thankfully, Mom lived long enough to see chicken meat as something that’s not worth dying for.

—Maame Nti’s Daughter

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*****

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I read a story here about a lady who sold her land to help her husband travel abroad, only for him to divorce her. That story has pushed me to share my own.

I met my ex-boyfriend when I was in secondary school. At first, he was not my type at all. But one day, I had a conversation with him. I saw from the way he talked that he had a dream. He was ambitious, and by all means, I wanted to be part of it. So, I followed his vision and said yes to him.

We started our relationship on a good note. I completed secondary school the same year he completed university. He wasn’t originally from Accra, but I was. So he stayed in Accra for his national service, and later got a job there.

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I knew he was cheating on me back then, but I was gullible. Anytime he cheated and apologized, I forgave him. Love is not only blind sometimes, it makes you stupid.

He urged me to get a job after school, so I did. I earned well. As a sort of appreciation for him pushing me, I paid for his graduation suit, cooked for him, bought him groceries. I took care of him like he was my child.

One of his biggest visions was to travel abroad for his master’s degree. He applied and got a scholarship. One day, his friend called me. “Your boyfriend needs help with going abroad. He is your husband, so help the boy now. I beg you.” He said my boyfriend was desperate for money to travel, that none of his family members were willing to help, so he was begging me to assist him.

I told his friend I was scared. He had been cheating on me while in Ghana, so what showed he wouldn’t leave me once he travelled? His friend assured me he wouldn’t. I still don’t know how he planned to make sure, but I took his word for it. I spoke to a few people in my circle, and one person urged me to help him. That was my biggest mistake. I should have played deaf.

First, I asked him how much he needed, went to my account, and withdrew the money. I even went to West Hills Mall to buy a medium suitcase and filled it with groceries for him to travel with. My parents didn’t know I had such money because it wasn’t even evident that I was earning that well.

At that time, I had also gained admission to school, so I was busy with my own preparations. Later, he told me he needed more money. It was time for me to leave for school, so I gave him my ATM card and told him to withdraw what he needed. I didn’t think far. I didn’t think of the worst scenarios.

I left for school before he left Ghana. Do you know that when he was leaving, a lady I had caught him cheating with, someone he promised me he was no longer seeing, was among the three friends who saw him off at the airport?

His friend sent me the picture and wrote, “See the man you’ve given your money to travel.” I was shocked, but I stayed calm.

When he got there, things changed. For the first few months, if he called and heard my colleagues making noise in the background, he would get angry and hang up. Then suddenly, he became busy. One day, the same friend who had asked me to help him called. He said, “Maame, my friend will start misbehaving very soon. He says he has met someone there. But I’m begging you, be patient with him.” I said okay.

A few days later, the drama started. He told me he wasn’t coming back to Ghana anytime soon and didn’t want to waste my time. If I met someone interested in me, I was free to go.

I nearly collapsed. But for love’s sake, I told him I would wait.

Then something happened. I came home from school and collected my ATM card from his friend. My friend and I went to withdraw ten cedis just to check the balance. Brethren, the ten cedis didn’t come. My friend asked who I gave my ATM to. When I told her, she asked for my phone, and without my knowing, she took his number, went behind my back, and gave him the insults of his life.

One afternoon, I started getting messages from him insulting me. He said I had given his number to my friend so she could insult him. I tried to explain, but he wouldn’t listen. He threw insults at me and officially broke up with me.

I still thought he was joking at first. I spoke to his friends, his mother, and his siblings to plead on my behalf. The insults only got worse. He told me point blank that nobody could influence him to marry me, not even his mother.

It was then I realized it was truly over.

Since there was once love between us, I asked him to pay back the money I gave him to travel. He told me I didn’t loan it to him, so he wouldn’t pay. He said, “Do you know what other women do for their boyfriends?” Then he blocked me everywhere.

Brethren, I died inside and outside. I deferred four papers that semester and couldn’t go to school. It was then my mother found out. She consoled me, and my friends tried encouraging me to return to school.

One friend even told her mother about my ordeal, and the woman came to my house. She said she wanted to take me somewhere to destroy him. I told my mother, and she said, “Leave him to God.” So I prayed. I prayed hard for God to deal with him, left, right, and centre. I asked karma to show his power.

Years later, in church, a pastor asked me to let it go so my own blessings could come. I forgave him in my heart.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Then, a year or two ago, I can’t quite remember, he contacted me again. He said if there was anyone in Ghana he should have a baby with, it should be me. He wanted to have a baby with me, but he couldn’t promise marriage.

According to him, if he had a baby with me, the child would be a U.S. citizen, and I would automatically become one too. I thanked him and told him I wasn’t interested.

The respect he gives me now… err.

One thing I always ask myself is, what if I hadn’t bettered myself? What if I still needed help from him all the time?

I’ve learned this: better yourself and love yourself first before you help someone. Because when they don’t need your help anymore, nobody truly cares about you.
\n
\n_Eunice

#SB<>

", "keywords": "When, You, Fall, Love, With, Man, Who, Dreams, Travelling, Abroad, Don’t, Fund", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/3487.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-you-fall-in-love-with-a-man-who-dreams-of-travelling-abroad-dont-fund-it/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-23 09:47:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "132528", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Clitoris Researcher Wants You to Know Everything This Sex Organ Can Do", "title_slug": "clitoris-researcher-wants-you-to-know-everything-this-sex-organ-can-do", "title_hash": "d9f3136bb5d927c125abc6eeab965fe8", "summary": "Pleasure is only the tip of the clitoral iceberg, says Dr. Angela Towne.\nThe post Clitoris Researcher Wants You to Know Everything This Sex Organ Can Do appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The clitoris does a lot more than make sex feel good. And Angela Towne wants it to get the respect it deserves.

\n\n\n\n

Mainstream understanding of the clitoris has come a long way in recent decades. In the 1960s and 1970s, feminists worked to destigmatize sexual pleasure involving the clitoris.

\n\n\n\n

“It was really important to do that during second wave feminism,” Towne, a sexuality researcher and educator who teaches at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine, told Rewire News Group, but “now what I see is that it’s being used as a reason to disregard” the clitoris. “‘Oh it’s for pleasure, it has no other purpose, so who cares?’”

\n\n\n\n

Towne’s research on the many functions of the clitoris sheds light on how U.S. society’s male-centered take on sex and gender has affected the traditional dynamics of whose pleasure gets prioritized during sex. That perspective has also skewed what the science shows—biologically—about the clitoris.

\n\n\n\n

RNG sat down with Towne to set the clitoral record straight.

\n\n\n\n

This interview was conducted by phone and email, and has been edited for length and clarity.

\n\n\n\n

What else is the clitoris used for, beyond pleasure?

\n\n\n\n

The clitoris has important safety functions. Greater vaginal lubrication lessens the likelihood of micro-tears and abrasion in the vaginal canal or in the outer vulva, which are potential inroads into the body for sexually transmitted infections.

\n\n\n\n

So if I stimulate a clitoris, that stimulation causes greater vaginal lubrication that lessens the likelihood of…viruses and bacteria. … We could include clitoral stimulation in sex education aimed at reducing STI risk because communicating with someone about how they like their clitoris to be touched is going to be protective.

\n\n\n\n

The clitoris has reproductive support functions as well. So along with creating a safer bodily state for the main reproductive method—which is penile vaginal intercourse—there’s also clitoral stimulation, we find, changes the chemical makeup of vaginal fluid.

\n\n\n\n

For example, vaginal fluid with clitoral stimulation: The vaginal fluid has increased oxygenation. That’s just a way of saying oxygen in vaginal fluid increases … but it decreases the vaginal acidity. And both of these things increase sperm longevity and motility. In other words, it increases fertility.

\n\n\n\n

Why do you think it’s important to make people more aware that the clitoris doesn’t have to solely function for pleasure?

\n\n\n\n

There’s this [perceived] danger of essentializing reproduction in sexual activity with a partner. I don’t see it that way. What I see is that the clitoris fully functions without penetrative sex at all, without a penis inserted. It’s functional in all stages of sexual response and when somebody chooses to also have reproductive sex, it supports reproduction as well.

\n\n\n\n

So, it quite literally gives a clitoris-haver a choice in that I can use my clitoris in ways that are non-reproductive without any loss in functionality, and I can also use my clitoris in ways that are reproductive and get reproductive support. …

\n\n\n\n

We’re living in a culture that discourages female pleasure-seeking. This knowledge has been covered up. But if we include the accurate safety features of the clitoris it could potentially legitimize including the clitoris in more disciplines and more areas of study and health care.

\n\n\n\n

You’ve done a lot of research on the “patriarchal lens” through which we view the clitoris and sexuality. How has this gendered perspective of the clitoris and clitorial anatomy affected how we understand pleasure?

\n\n\n\n

There’s really not some official or objective definition of what a clitoris is. It’s so understudied that different disciplines and sources define the clitoris differently. We may assume that we’re talking about the same thing when we use the word “clitoris,” but in my experience conducting in-depth and interdisciplinary research, that’s not the case.

\n\n\n\n

(Editor’s note: Ongoing debate over the language used to describe the clitoris and disagreement over which parts of the genitalia should be considered part of the clitoris’ anatomy means, for example, that Towne includes an area called the “perineal sponge,” while other biologists might exclude that region.)

\n\n\n\n

The patriarchal lens means that female anatomy is viewed from the perspective of the male. Because there is such disagreement about what anatomical sites can be included in what we call a “clitoris,” one rationale that has been used to [answer this question] … is to use the penis as the standard for comparison.

\n\n\n\n

The thinking goes: Because the clitoris and penis arise from the same embryo and fetus anatomy, the sites that we define as the “penis” can be included in what we consider to be the “clitoris.”

\n\n\n\n

The sexism [here] is that the penis is already considered to be a valid structure, as it has been defined, whereas the clitoris has a validity problem.

\n\n\n\n

And what this does is it takes certain anatomical sites, that from my research are used for pleasure, and says these are not part of the clitoris because they’re not part of the penis. …

\n\n\n\n

So, if the penis is the standard of comparison it actually erases anatomical sites that we can consider scientifically, biologically, interpersonally, and during masturbation for pleasure purposes. It erases things. It erases knowledge.

\n\n\n\n

Why is it important for people to have inclusive and anatomically correct information about their bodies?

\n\n\n\n

It helps us to make informed decisions in so many different realms—our body, our health, our safety, sex, relationships, reproduction, and pleasure-seeking. We can better communicate about our bodies to health-care providers, to sex partners, to friends in conversation, to sex researchers like me.

\n\n\n\n

As a sex researcher, I’m thinking about how [when] I encounter a lack of knowledge, it can cut off information because people don’t have a language to describe their experience. … And there is likely so much information that we’re not accessing as a result of not acknowledging the clitoris at all. …

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And so, [saying the clitoris is only for pleasure has] become a way to put it under the rug and stigmatize it, because female pleasure as a whole is stigmatized. So, to get back to your question, it’s important to have more pleasure, more choice, and less pathologizing.

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What do you hope is in store for the future of sexual pleasure research?

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I would love to see more theory and research about the clitoris. It’s left out of a lot of academic disciplines, it’s even often left out of sex education. I worked as a professor of gender and sexuality studies and it’s left out there. I have so many stories of my research being actively censored in gender and sexuality studies departments.

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There’s a lot more embrace in academic spaces of discussing the removal of the clitoris [than there is of looking at what we don’t know yet]… A lot of the sexuality research in academic spaces that gets done is about the vaginal canal … but there’s not an equivalent interest in the clitoris.

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But also, what about theory? What about looking at the clitoris using an intersectional lens? What about looking at psychology and mental representation of the clitoris? I’m talking about wide-view theorizing of the clitoris. (Editor’s note: Towne uses the term called “clitorality” to describe this broad, intersectional focus on the clitoris.) And I would love to see a ton more research done into intersex, trans, and gender non-conforming experiences of sex and pleasure.

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What do people not talk about when it comes to sex, gender, and pleasure, but you wish they would?

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I wish that people talked more about how to communicate with partners about how they like their clitoris touched throughout sexual contact. I would love to see realistic media depictions of that. What I see, and what we see, at least in movies and TV, is people running towards each other and then it flips to the day after. … There’s very little representation of how we communicate with partners about how we want our clitorises touched.

\n\n\n\n

I asked that question in my dissertation research … and there were no two people who liked the exact same thing.

\n\n\n\n

So, how does that get communicated to sex partners? I think if it was spoken about more, represented more, and normalized, the pleasure that would be an outcome of that would be transformative.

\n\n\n

The post Clitoris Researcher Wants You to Know Everything This Sex Organ Can Do appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The racist and misogynistic origins of gynecology in the United States are well documented. But this legacy is at risk of erasure.

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In March 2025, President Donald Trump issued an executive order decreeing that museums stop “rewriting history” by promoting “divisive, race-centered ideology.” Trump specifically criticized the Smithsonian Institution for portraying “American and Western values as inherently harmful and oppressive.”

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Then, in August, the president wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Smithsonian, Dr. Lonnie G. Bunch III, calling for a “comprehensive review” of eight of its 21 museums. NPR reported at the time that the process would include a thorough analysis of the organization’s exhibition texts, social media content, curatorial process, and exhibition planning.

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The Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, D.C. was on the list of facilities designated for scrutiny. One of its digital exhibits, “To Be a Woman,” features the notorious gynecologist James Marion Sims, who used enslaved Black women as guinea pigs for his medical innovations.

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Between 1845 and 1849, Sims performed nonconsensual, painful surgeries on at least three such women later identified by historians—though there are likely up to a dozen more cases.

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The Smithsonian Institution, which was closed during the 45-day federal government shutdown in October and November of 2025, has not responded to multiple requests for comment about whether it is under pressure to shutter or alter its Sims exhibits.

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But Black activists and historians are worried. In interviews with Rewire News Group, they expressed that this history, whose echoes are still visible in medicine today, must be remembered—so they’re telling it.

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Medical experimentation was common in the 19th century

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Dr. Deirdre Cooper Owens documented an extensive history of racist medical experiments in her 2017 Book Medical Bondage.

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Cooper Owens told RNG she is “concerned” about the sanitation of history under the Trump administration.

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“For a political agenda to be attached to the ways we understand the past really undercuts a lot of the work historians have done,” she said.

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That work includes the documentation of decades of medical abuse and exploitation that enslaved people endured under the guise of scientific advancement.

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In 1807, the importation of enslaved people into the United States was outlawed. As a result, existing enslaved people became more valuable to their enslavers, as did their offspring. This situation intensified slave owners’ existing hyperfixation on the fertility of the Black women they enslaved.

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White Southern doctors, too, became increasingly fascinated with Black women’s bodies. Countless cases of medically exploitative experiments were inflicted on enslaved Black women during the 19th century, according to Cooper Owens’ research.

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Many involved their reproductive health. During the 19th century antebellum era, Cooper Owens documented four doctors and two medical students performing ovarian surgery on a 35-year-old enslaved Black woman, after which she never menstruated again.

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A decade later, Georgia physician Dr. Raymond Harris operated on a 36-year-old enslaved mother experiencing an aggressive ovarian pregnancy, which happens when a fertilized egg grows inside the ovary. She died shortly after Harris prescribed her medication for tumor-like symptoms she manifested years before the surgery.

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Sim’s professional goal was to cure vesicovaginal fistula, an abnormal opening that forms between the bladder and the wall of the vagina. Back in the mid-19th century, Sims was designated as “the Father of Modern Gynecology,” a moniker frequently applied today. But in modern terms, he was more like a willfully unethical surgeon.

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Sims’ work reflects a broader legacy of medical exploitation, Cooper Owens’ research shows. It was common for white doctors to operate on enslaved Black women, robbing them of their humanity.

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In that sense, Owens argues, Sims’ historic prominence may be overstated. He was just one “part of a structure or a system where the medical legacy of these men continue,” she said.

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Still, it’s important to document that whole history, she added, because “history is really about understanding change over time.”

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The mothers of modern gynecology

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The artist and civil rights activist Michelle Browder has been documenting Sims’ abuses for over 30 years—well before there were museum exhibitions critical of him that could be whitewashed. She is known for her work memorializing the women who endured Sims’ torture.

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Browder first learned of the doctor as a student at the Art Institute of Atlanta. She saw a painting by Robert Thom that depicted three white, male doctors surrounding a young Black girl on what appears to be a white-sheeted operating table. Two Black girls peer behind another white sheet, their inquisitive eyes fixated on the girl atop the table. One doctor wears a black coat while holding a speculum.

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“I saw this postcard of the painting that he created to honor James Marion Sims, and it was very popular,” Browder told RNG.

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When Browder approached her white professor about the underlying meaning of the postcard, “He told me: ‘You go figure it out.’”

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Browder felt dismissed—and activated.

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Eventually, she learned about the untold history of Anarcha Westcott, Betsey, and Lucy—the three identified enslaved Black girls who were subjected to Sims’ experimental surgeries without anesthesia.

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Browder also learned that Sims went on to open a medical practice that treated predominantly white women—with the use of anesthesia, a fairly new drug at the time. Sim’s experimentation on enslaved Black women without any pain relief caused “extreme agony,” as the doctor himself acknowledged in his 1884 autobiography, The Story of My Life.

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She crafted an art project featuring Anarcha, Betsey, and Lucy—a kind of “ad campaign” to publicize them that included handmade t-shirts, mugs, and mouse pads in her portfolio.

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“When it was time for me to graduate, that professor wouldn’t allow me to because [my art] was considered offensive,” Browder told RNG.

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So, she dropped out of college.

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Browder was prompted to revisit her Sims drawings in 2020, after viewing the J. Marion Sims statue in Montgomery, Alabama, which depicts the man on a stone podium, overlooking the Capitol grounds.

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“If Sims is ‘the father of modern gynecology,’ then what about the mothers?” Browder recalled asking herself.

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In 2021, Browder unveiled her own welded metal monument, “Mothers of Gynecology,” in Montgomery, where Sims practiced medicine, to honor the lives of Anarcha, Betsey, and Lucy. The red pops of color on the statue are handmade glass, and symbolize blood.

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“I immediately thought of what they went through with it being glass and the cutting,” Browder said. “Everything [on the statue] is intentional.”

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So is the statue’s location. Besides Sims practicing in Montgomery, Browder’s drive to preserve maternal history there stems from the historical importance of the Southern state capital. Montgomery is often associated with the Confederacy and the Civil Rights Movement, Browder said, but the city also had “Black infirmaries where people were able to find help and medical care.”

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Learning this, she thought: “We need to teach this history to people about maternal health.”

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Browder hopes the “Mothers of Gynecology” statue will change the narrative around Black reproductive health-care in the U.S. And she hopes Montgomery will be a permanent home that history, no matter what happens in Washington, D.C.

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Since 2022, Browder has run an annual conference called “Day of Reckoning” to educate attendees on this topic.

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“When we were organizing the first conference, I called the owner of the [hospital] site where J. Marion Sims experimented…to arrange a convening” in the exact place where so much horror had transpired, she said.

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When Browder visited the site, the owner told her that he was about to sell the building, which had been sitting empty. The structure was steps from where the 1965 Selma to Montgomery marches took place; it’s a historical landmark.

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So Browder bought the building and the grounds where Sims had experimented on a dozen enslaved Black women. And she constructed the “Mothers of Gynecology” statue there to honor its full legacy.

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“Instead of erasing history, as [the Trump administration] is trying to do, we’re bringing it out of the basement and into the light so we can learn from it and better understand how we got here and where we’re going,” Browder said.

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The fifth and final Day of Reckoning conference is scheduled for February 2026. Browder still hosts educational tours in Montgomery.

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Black history remains at a standstill

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The kinds of medical malpractice Sims was guilty of have long since been prohibited. However, the disparagement of Black women’s bodily autonomy in medicine remains; it just takes different forms.

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According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, about 1 in 5 Black women say a health-care provider or their staff has mistreated them due to their racial background. Additionally, in a series of interviews conducted at UNC Chapel Hill in 2024, researchers found that all of the 32 Black women they surveyed preferred Black OB-GYNs. Some of the women, who ranged in age from 27 to 34, worried about discrimination by non-Black providers. Some feared dying during pregnancy or childbirth.

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The history behind these fears is still on display at the Smithsonian—at least for now. The National Museum of African American History and Culture’s “Racism in Medicine and Healthcare” digital collection, unveiled in 2024, remains online. The Smithsonian National Museum of American History has Sims’ medical tools, but they are not currently on display.

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It tells not just Sims’ story but also that of Henrietta Lacks, whose cells were quietly taken from her cervical cancer tumor to produce the HeLa cell line, a population of cells that can be infinitely multiplied and which are still used in cancer research today. In 2023, the Lacks family came to an undisclosed financial settlement with Thermo Fisher Scientific for commercializing Lacks’ cells without her consent.

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The internet archive also documents the 40-year-long Tuskegee Syphilis Study, in which the U.S. Public Health Service conducted a clinical experiment to observe the progression of untreated syphilis in 600 African American men from Macon County, Alabama. After a whistleblower exposed the experiment in 1972, the victims’ families won $10 million in a class-action lawsuit.

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Whatever happens under Trump, historian Cooper Owens believes this history can’t ever truly disappear. Total erasure is nearly impossible in the digital era.

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“I think there are ways that we can still get the information,” the medical historian said. People may “just have to be more creative and steadfast about it.”

The post The Trump Administration Wants To Whitewash History. These Black Historians and Activists are Memorializing the Sins of an Infamous Gynecologist appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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I am 27 years old. I am a community health nurse working in one of the CHPS compounds in the Bono Region. I just completed my BSc in Nursing this past October.

I grew up in a health household. Both my mom and dad were in the health space. My mum was a nurse at Effia Nkwanta Regional Hospital before she passed away. Growing up, I watched her care for people in our neighborhood whenever they came to her with their sickness. Everyone knew me as Auntie Nurse’s daughter. Maybe that is what ignited my love for caring for people. I do not know, I cannot tell. She took me everywhere with her, since I am the only girl and the last born of four boys. I even used to go on night shifts with her. I never once saw my mum fight or exchange words with anyone. My dad had a pharmacy shop in Sekondi, so I spent time with him after school sometimes too.

At my workplace, I am the youngest. Unmarried, with no kids, and now with a degree. I am as free as a bird. There are ten of us, all ladies. Every one of them is married with children. So when I was posted there, I decided I was just going to do my work and leave. No need poking my nose into people’s business. I worked diligently, with no issues. I had already started my degree before the posting came, and I did not want anyone to complain that because I was schooling, I was not doing the work I was being paid for.

Plus, I was not on study leave. So I stayed very focused on my job as a nurse.

Because of that, my In Charge likes me a lot. And I know that has started creating problems for me. I was not only doing my department duties. I was also helping in other departments because I wanted to learn so much. I was thinking, since they have kids, I could do the work to help relieve their burden. I had no intention of overriding or invading their spaces.

They started disliking me because every now and then, the In Charge kept praising me in front of them. To the point that one of them said, “One day a patient will die in your hands and you will be in trouble.” That day, the words were pronounced on me. I went to church. I prayed. And I revoked every evil word spoken against me in my line of duty.

What makes it even harder is how the community members behave when they see me at work or in the community. They are very loud with their praises. Loud enough for my colleagues to hear. I recently went for my annual leave, and when I came back, one of the staff asked me to talk to my In Charge.

Because even in my absence, she keeps mentioning my name. As if the clinic was shut down while I was away. And she said, “If someone has an evil eye, the person will target you.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Yesterday, I went to work and thankfully met my In Charge there. I asked her to stop mentioning or praising my name since it has started creating problems for me. And from next year onwards, I will stop doing most of the extra things I do at the workplace. I will stay in my lane. I will sit without working. Even if a patient comes and my colleagues are feeding their babies, I will tell the patient to sit and wait for them to finish and attend to them.

We will have our last meeting for the year next week. And I have decided to say this in front of everyone on that day.

—Nana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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When Rita and her husband reached out to me, they did not sound like people who wanted to borrow money casually. They sounded desperate. Their third child was sick and they said it was urgent. They said they had tried all options and I was the last person they could call. I remember the exact tone of Rita’s voice. It was shaky and low, the kind of voice that makes you feel wicked if you say no. I did not want to give them money. I am not rich. I work hard for every cedi I earn and I budget tightly. But when sickness enters the picture, especially involving a child, your heart stops listening to your head.

They asked for help and promised they would pay back at the end of the month. We discussed it clearly. We agreed on a specific date. Not “end of the month” in a vague way but a particular day. I asked them repeatedly if they were sure. They assured me. Rita’s husband even said, “Sister, we won’t disgrace you. This one is sure.” I transferred GHC6,000 that same day. They thanked me over and over. They prayed for me on the phone. They said God would bless me for saving their child’s life. I felt at peace. I thought I had done a good thing.

The agreed date came and passed like it was just another normal day. No message. No call. Nothing. I waited the whole day, telling myself they might be busy or sorting something out. The next day, still nothing. That was when uneasiness started creeping in. I did not want to jump to conclusions so I sent a calm message. Just a gentle reminder. Rita replied hours later saying things had not gone as planned and life had been hard. She asked for more time.

I asked how long. She said one month. I did not argue. I agreed, even though that money was part of what I planned to use for my rent. I rearranged my life again and waited. One month passed. Nothing. One week after the new deadline, still silence. I reached out again, this time to her husband. He replied casually, like we were discussing football. He said, “Oh I thought my wife has told you ooo. We were expecting some money but it disappointed us. Kindly give us a few weeks.”

That was when it started to hurt. Not just the money, but the attitude. Every single time a deadline reached, I was the one who had to ask. They never once came to me before time to say they were struggling. They never once apologized sincerely. It was always stories after stories, excuses stacked on excuses. This went on for over six months. Six months of begging for my own money. Six months of patience. Six months of swallowing my anger and pretending to be understanding while my own problems were piling up.

One morning, I woke up angry, tired, and ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I had allowed people to treat me like this. I went straight to their house. I told myself I was not leaving without my money. When they opened the door and started with their usual explanations, I cut them short. I said I was not interested in any story. I raised my voice because I was angry and because I was tired of being polite to people who clearly did not respect me.

Tenants started gathering. I did not call them. I did not invite them. They came because of the noise. Rita started explaining to them that I had come to disgrace her over money. The tenants begged me to calm down and give them one more chance. That was when I told them everything. I told them it had been over six months. I told them I needed the money to pay my rent. I said clearly that I was not leaving until I got my money.

One of the tenants went inside his room and came back with GHC3,000. He gave it to me and said I should take it and leave, that he would make sure they paid the rest. I was shocked. A stranger had more sense of responsibility than the people who owed me. I took the money because I was desperate and because I was tired. They promised to pay the rest in one month.

When the time came again, I did not even bother calling Rita or her husband. I called the neighbor who had helped. I explained that I did not want trouble again. I just wanted my money. He sighed and told me the truth. He said they had borrowed extra GHC1,000 from him and promised to pay in a week. Now they were also avoiding him. He told me plainly to get my money however I could.

So I went back there again. That evening. Same house. Same faces. Same excuses. The husband even said, “Oh we were even going to call you.” I did not know whether to laugh or cry. I raised my voice again. People gathered again. This time, nobody defended them. Nobody came to rescue them. I left without my money.

Not long after, I saw messages flying on our church WhatsApp platform. According to them, I had disgraced my best friend over money. They said I was unchristian. They said because of me, Rita and her husband could not stay in their house due to shame. Nobody asked about the money they owed me. Nobody asked how long I had waited. Nobody asked if I was okay.

I was in that group reading everything. I did not defend myself or try to explain. I did not insult anyone. I quietly exited the group. I still go to church but I do not talk to those people. I do not attend meetings anymore. Sometimes I sit in church and feel like everyone is looking at me like I am the wicked one.

Recently, I started questioning myself. I started wondering if I was fighting everyone instead of listening. I asked myself what would happen if one day I also needed help. Who would help me. I thought deeply about everything. I examined my actions again and again. And honestly, I still do not see where I went wrong. They still owe me money. They have not apologized. They have not paid.

What hurt me the most was seeing their WhatsApp status recently. They were dressed in matching outfits at a wedding. Freshly sewn clothes. Smiling. Happy. They have money to sew new clothes and attend weddings, but not money to pay what they owe me. That was when anger rose in me again.

I have stopped asking them to pay because of what people are saying. But inside me, the injustice is loud. I feel cheated. I feel used. I feel punished for being kind. And sometimes I ask myself if keeping quiet is the right thing or if silence is just another way of allowing people to disrespect you.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I helped them when they cried. I trusted them when they promised. I waited when they delayed and nd somehow, I became the villain in the story. If this is what kindness brings, then maybe people should stop blaming those who harden their hearts.

—Mavis

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*****

", "keywords": "Was, Wrong, Attack, Friend, and, Her, Husband, Over, the, GH₵6,000, They, Owed, Me", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/47206.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/was-i-wrong-to-attack-my-friend-and-her-husband-over-the-gh%E2%82%B56000-they-owed-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 08:43:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131639", "lang_id": "1", "title": "2025 Ultimate Home Theater Guide: Best Projectors, Screens, and Sound Systems for Epic Viewing", "title_slug": "2025-ultimate-home-theater-guide-best-projectors-screens-and-sound-systems-for-epic-viewing", "title_hash": "262fd64058ce8d60b8b3f1dc6b645af5", "summary": "2025 Ultimate Home Theater Guide: Best Projectors, Screens, and Sound Systems for Epic Viewing In 2025, home theaters have evolved beyond simple setups into immersive entertainment hubs that rival commercial cinemas. With advancements in laser technology, ambient light rejection, and spatial audio, creating a cinematic experience at home is more accessible and exciting than ever. Whether you're binge-watching the latest series, hosting movie nights, or diving into high-octane gaming, the right combination of projector, screen, and sound system can transform any room. This guide dives into the top picks for 2025, based on expert reviews and real-world performance, to help you build a setup that's both cutting-edge and practical. We'll cover key features, pros, cons, and tips to get the most out of your investment, ensuring your home theater delivers stunning visuals and heart-pounding audio.Why Upgrade Your Home Theater in 2025?The pandemic-era surge in home entertainment has stuck arou", "content": "

$\"2025$

2025 Ultimate Home Theater Guide: Best Projectors, Screens, and Sound Systems for Epic Viewing

In 2025, home theaters have evolved beyond simple setups into immersive entertainment hubs that rival commercial cinemas. With advancements in laser technology, ambient light rejection, and spatial audio, creating a cinematic experience at home is more accessible and exciting than ever. Whether you're binge-watching the latest series, hosting movie nights, or diving into high-octane gaming, the right combination of projector, screen, and sound system can transform any room. This guide dives into the top picks for 2025, based on expert reviews and real-world performance, to help you build a setup that's both cutting-edge and practical. We'll cover key features, pros, cons, and tips to get the most out of your investment, ensuring your home theater delivers stunning visuals and heart-pounding audio.

Why Upgrade Your Home Theater in 2025?

$\"2025$

The pandemic-era surge in home entertainment has stuck around, and 2025 brings even more innovations. Projectors now boast brighter lasers for daytime viewing, screens reject ambient light like never before, and sound systems integrate seamless Dolby Atmos for overhead effects. According to industry trends, laser projectors dominate for their longevity—up to 20,000 hours without bulb changes—while soundbars with wireless subwoofers simplify setups without sacrificing power. Budgets vary, but you can start with entry-level gear under $1,000 or go premium for $5,000+. The key is matching components to your room: dark basements suit high-contrast setups, while living rooms need light-rejecting tech. Let's break it down by category.

Best Home Theater Projectors for 2025: Bright, Sharp, and Versatile

$\"2025$

Projectors are the heart of any home theater, projecting images up to 150 inches or more for that big-screen feel. In 2025, laser and LED sources rule, offering vibrant colors, high brightness, and low maintenance. Look for 4K resolution (native or pixel-shifted), HDR support for dynamic range, and low input lag for gaming. Brightness is measured in lumens—aim for 2,000+ for versatile use.

Topping the lists is the Sony VPL-XW5000ES, a native 4K laser projector that's praised for its balance of performance and value. With 2,000 lumens, infinite contrast, and a 20,000-hour laser life, it delivers sharp, colorful images even in moderately lit rooms. Features like lens shift and 1.6:1 zoom make installation flexible. Pros: Outstanding HDR handling and natural colors; cons: At around $6,000, it's not budget-friendly, and it lacks built-in smart features. It's ideal for dedicated theaters where you want cinema-grade blacks and detail.

For a high-end alternative, the Epson Pro Cinema LS12000 stands out with its 2,700 lumens and 2,500,000:1 dynamic contrast. Using pixel-shifting for 4K, it excels in HDR movies and gaming, with a laser source lasting 20,000 hours. Priced at about $5,000, it's great for family rooms. Pros: Bright enough for ambient light; smooth motion processing; cons: Native resolution is 1080p before shifting, which might bother purists.

If versatility is key, check out the XGIMI HORIZON 20 Max, rated as the best all-around projector. This DLP model hits 9.2/10 for brightness with laser tech, supporting 4K pixel shift and a wide color gamut. At under $2,000, it's portable yet powerful. Pros: Excellent for movies (8.9 score) and gaming; built-in speakers; cons: Contrast dips in bright scenes.

On the budget end, the BenQ HT3650 offers 2,200 lumens and HDR10+ for $1,700. It's lamp-based but delivers natural images. Pros: Affordable 4K entry; dynamic iris for contrast; cons: Requires occasional lamp replacements.

When choosing, consider room size—ultra-short-throw (UST) models like the Hisense PX3-PRO work for tight spaces, projecting 100-inch images from inches away. Always calibrate for your environment to maximize performance.

Top Projection Screens for 2025: Enhancing Clarity and Contrast

$\"2025$

A great projector needs a quality screen to shine. In 2025, ambient light rejecting (ALR) and ceiling light rejecting (CLR) screens are game-changers, bouncing off overhead lights for brighter, crisper images. Materials range from matte white (for dark rooms) to gray (for contrast in lit spaces). Fixed frames provide the best tension, while pull-downs save space.

The Formovie Fresnel 100\" ALR takes the crown for UST setups, with a gain of 1.54 and exceptional light rejection (70% at 15° angles). Priced at $999, it's fixed-frame with a Fresnel design that focuses light toward viewers. Pros: Brightest images in ambient light; uniform blacks; cons: Limited viewing angles (best within 45°).

For budget-conscious buyers, the Silver Ticket STR Series (100-inch) is a fixed-frame standout at $230. With a 1.1 gain and velvet borders, it offers sharp colors and wide angles. Pros: Easy assembly; minimal tint; cons: Not ideal for heavy ambient light without ALR.

If you prefer retractable, the Elite Screens Manual Series (100-inch) at $196 pulls down smoothly with a neutral surface. Pros: Space-saving; good color accuracy; cons: Manual operation lacks automation.

For UST fans, lenticular CLR options like the Nothing Projector CLR (fixed or floor-rising) provide wide angles and 80% rejection at 45°. At $686-$1,479, they're versatile. Match screen size to projector throw ratio—100-120 inches is popular for living rooms. Pro tip: ALR screens boost contrast by 50% in lit environments.

Best Home Theater Sound Systems for 2025: Immersive Audio That Surrounds You

$\"2025$

Sound brings visuals to life, and 2025 emphasizes Dolby Atmos and DTS:X for 3D audio. Soundbars are easy for beginners, while speaker packages offer customization. Look for wireless options to reduce clutter and power ratings over 500W for impact.

The Samsung HW-Q990F soundbar system leads as the best overall, with 11.1.4 channels, wireless rears, and subwoofer for 756W of power. It supports HDMI 2.1 and Alexa. Pros: Dynamic Atmos effects; easy setup; cons: Small display; around $1,500.

For traditional speakers, the Bowers & Wilkins 606 and 607 S3 package delivers 5.1 channels with detailed, warm sound. Includes a 200W sub; pair with an AVR. Pros: Energetic dynamics; cons: Needs stands.

Budget pick: Klipsch Reference Theater Pack (5.1) at $500, with horn-loaded tech for clarity. Pros: Compact; punchy bass; cons: No Atmos without upgrades.

Premium wireless: Sony Bravia Theatre Quad (4.0.4) at higher cost, with sleek speakers and HDMI hub. Pros: Immersive without wires; cons: Bass needs a sub add-on.

Sonos Arc Ultra shines for smart homes, with 9.1.4 channels and app control. Pros: Precise bass; cons: No DTS:X.

Calibrate with room acoustics—use apps like Audyssey for optimal balance.

Integrating Your Home Theater Setup: Tips for Maximum Impact

Pair a bright projector like the Sony with an ALR screen for lit rooms, and add a Dolby Atmos system for height effects. Room prep: Blackout curtains, acoustic panels, and a central seat. Budget: $3,000-10,000 total. Trends include AI calibration and 8K readiness. Test in-store if possible.

Final Thoughts:

Build Your Dream Theater Today

2025 makes home theaters more thrilling with these top picks. Whether it's the Sony VPL-XW5000ES for visuals, Formovie screen for clarity, or Samsung Q990F for sound, you'll create unforgettable experiences. Start small, upgrade as needed, and enjoy the show!

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$\"cold$ There’re many misconceptions about the art of cold approach: it’s a bother… the opener is key… that it only works for ‘Chad’. These and more DEBUNKED in this guide to cold approach reality.

A member of our forum recently posted asking about cold approach misconceptions.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Common, Misconceptions, About, Cold, Approach", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/cold-approach-misconceptions-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/10-common-misconceptions-about-cold-approach", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:52:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131343", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Talk Gambit (Comfort Edition): Body Image", "title_slug": "sex-talk-gambit-comfort-edition-body-image", "title_hash": "b04207865a1b5a274e99cfef694079c0", "summary": "Pull a woman into not just a sexual frame, but one in which she feels very COMFORTABLE being sexual with you, with Alek Rolstad’s ‘body image’ gambit.\nHey guys. Welcome back\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"sex$ Pull a woman into not just a sexual frame, but one in which she feels very COMFORTABLE being sexual with you, with Alek Rolstad’s ‘body image’ gambit.

Hey guys. Welcome back

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Gambit, Comfort, Edition:, Body, Image", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/body-image-gambit-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-gambit-comfort-edition-body-image", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:52:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131340", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Coach: I Sent a Sexual Voice Note to a Woman by Accident", "title_slug": "dating-coach-i-sent-a-sexual-voice-note-to-a-woman-by-accident", "title_hash": "e62963f6dda2be17f4c28501cf112d84", "summary": "I Sent a Vulgar Voice Note About a Woman to *Her*… Instead of My Buddy. What Now?", "content": "Welcome to AskMen’s latest column, Dating Coach, a monthly exploration of the difficulties guys face when it comes to modern dating. We’ve got a real, actual dating coach in Connell Barrett walking guys like you through everything from the most basic of the basics to the most pro of the pro tips.\nThe Question: \nI just had a great first date. I was so excited that I recorded an audio message for my trainer that said, “Bro, her boobs are ridiculous. I just want to nom, nom, nom on them, like a toddler.” But I accidentally sent it to her! I’m mortified. How do I apologize and not lose her?\n—Vexed by Voice Note\nThe Answer: \nYou know how you can unsend a text message? Well, Apple should really add a “reclaim your dignity” button to the iPhone. \nBut sometimes a goof turns into a gift.\nI was once on a sushi date with Laura, a witty, stylish blonde. After excusing myself to the men’s room, I returned to what I thought was our booth, slid in, and said, “I’m back, hotness”... only to realize the baffled blonde across from me was not my date. My face turned red as her burly boyfriend appeared, his look screaming, “WTF?”\nMeanwhile, Laura, at our actual table, gleefully watched this disaster movie unfold. “You’re as smooth as sandpaper,” she said with a laugh as I slunk back to the right booth.\nRELATED: Flirting Techniques That Can Backfire \nTo my surprise, my screw-up didn’t sink me. “It made me more into you,” Laura later confessed. “The way you owned it and laughed it off was so impressive.” We dated for several months. \nVexed (and any guys reading this who are going to end up making similar mistakes in the future), your embarrassing voice note isn’t the issue. How you handle it is everything. Here’s your 3-step game plan to salvage things. \n1: Remember: It’s Not the Mistake, It’s the Recovery\nYour audio note didn’t say anything vulgar. Now, you did home in on her body (more on that in a second), but you were just making guy talk and expressing your physical attraction for her. That’s OK. \nWomen don’t judge men for having sexual desire. They judge men based on how that desire is expressed. Yours came off as dorky — almost innocent. I mean, nom, nom, nom? You sounded less like a creep and more like Cookie Monster let loose in a bakery.\n2: Own It With Humor, Then Shut Up\nDon’t grovel. Just own the mistake with good humor. A man who can laugh at himself and take responsibility is attractive to women.\nSend her a self-effacing, lighthearted message. Important: Mention that you like her for more than her body. Being attracted to someone is fine. Reducing a person to their physical parts is not. So write something like this: \n“Well, that was meant for my trainer, not for you. I’m embarrassed! I’m sorry for the screw-up. Yes, I’m attracted to you, but I also know there’s much more to you than just your body. I hope you’re still up for date #2. I promise: No more voice memos of me making baby talk.” \nThen, stop. Don’t follow up with, “Did you get my text?” Don’t send a PowerPoint explaining yourself. Send one message and see how, or if, she replies.\n3: Cheer Up… This Could Actually Help \nHear me out. Your accidental audio shows that you’re genuinely into her. You’re not trying to seem mysterious or feign indifference, two ploys that women hate. \nI never teach my clients to pretend to be mysterious. My first rule of showing romantic interest is clarity. Let her know you like her. And brother, she knows!\nDumb dating mistakes like this, that are awkward, real and human, often create more sparks than straining to be perfect. \nOnce at Whole Foods, I approached a woman in the produce section, and I knocked over an entire pyramid of oranges. \nWe both cracked up at my klutziness, and she later told me, “That moment made me want to go out with you. It was like something out of a rom-com.” \nIf a woman likes you, she won’t ghost you over a small blunder. She may even find it charming.\nThe men who succeed in dating aren’t the guys who never make mistakes. They’re the guys who handle messy, human moments with honesty and a steady hand.\nIf the two of you end up together, this will become a story you’ll both laugh about for years. And if you don’t see her again, it won’t be because of the voice note… it will be because the two of you aren’t a match.\nThat might sting, but you’ll be fine. And hey, at least you didn’t send it to your mother.\nYou Might Also Dig: \nDating Coach: Do Women Actually Want Good Guys?Dating Coach: Why Do Women Ghost Me as Soon as We Start Talking?Dating Coach: Understanding Creepiness and the \"Six Icks\"", "keywords": "Dating, Coach:, Sent, Sexual, Voice, Note, Woman, Accident", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/dating-coach-i-sent-a-sexual-voice-note-to-a-woman-by-accident/askmen-lead-image-2x1-74-1766173511.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/dating-coach-i-sent-a-sexual-voice-note-to-a-woman-by-accident.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:52:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131341", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Female Pleasure Mistakes Guys Make", "title_slug": "female-pleasure-mistakes-guys-make", "title_hash": "cef27b7fb844c3ee8a39e47e86cf77cc", "summary": "5 Things Lots of Guys Get Wrong When It Comes to Pleasuring Women", "content": "Whether you’re straight, bi, pan or self-describe some other way, if you’re a guy who’s attracted to women, you probably care at least a little bit about being good in bed. \nOf course, not everyone does — but if you’re reading this article, I’m going to assume you do at least a little bit. And one of the best ways to get better at something (besides practice) is to learn from your mistakes. \nRELATED: Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing \nSo what are some common mistakes that guys make when it comes to female pleasure? Let’s dig in. \n1. Assuming All Women Want the Same Things\nIf you’ve been with more than one partner before, you might be tempted to try certain moves that worked with one person to your play with another person. And there’s nothing wrong with that impulse, but in practice, carrying it out could have a variety of less-than-pleasant consequences.\nRELATED: Things You Shouldn't Try in Bed Without Asking \nFor one, everyone’s body is a little bit different, and everyone’s desires and fantasies are a little bit different, which means that the techniques (whether it’s a certain kind of dirty talk or a certain move) that get one person off will feel boringly neutral to another person and actively unpleasant to yet another person. \nJust because one move made a given partner go crazy with pleasure is not guarantee that someone else will enjoy it, and anything that’s a bit more kinky — like spanking, slapping, choking, or spitting, for instance — should be discussed beforehand. \nJust because porn performers jump into a certain act or use certain words without asking for consent first doesn’t mean that real-life women want those things done to them. \nRELATED: Porn Moves You Shouldn't Try IRL \n2. Not Caring at All About Her Pleasure\nUnfortunately, something called the orgasm gap exists. It’s a term to describe the fact that women cum a lot less from partnered hetero sex than men do, which is a bit of a bummer when you think about it. \nIt’s not because they can’t cum, it’s because their partners aren’t making them cum. And that’s more than a skill issue — that’s a caring issue. \nIf you’re not very sexually experienced, you could be forgiven for being so excited (and/or freaked out) once penetration starts to think about the other person’s pleasure a ton. But beyond your first few times, that stops being a good excuse. \nRELATED: Why You Should Go Down on Her on Your Next Hookup \nAs you gain experience, hopefully you’re spending more time thinking about your partners’ pleasure. Asking questions about what they like, trying different things, and being open to feedback can go a long way towards making you an incredible lover. \n3. Over-Focusing on Orgasm\nParadoxically, getting too focused on your partner’s orgasm is also a negative trait that some guys possess. If you act like it’s a matter of life and death whether your partner came or not, that can make sex a tense, pressure-filled affair for them that can in fact make it harder to cum. \nOf course, making your partner cum is awesome, and it can be a kind of badge of honor. There’s nothing wrong with being super proud of making someone orgasm, nor is there anything wrong with being disappointed if you don’t. But if you’re vocal and/or insistent about it enough, you can make it into too big of a deal — to the point where it becomes unpleasant for the other person. \nRELATED: Why You Need to Care Less About the Female Orgasm \nThe solution? Focus on pleasure generally, not orgasm specifically. If you tell your partner(s), “I want to make you feel really good,” that can be less fraught than making them feel like they have to cum, or else. Lots of pleasure without much pressure is the recipe for orgasms. \n4. Ignoring the Clit\nOne really great way to make your partner(s) feel a lot of pleasure? Spend a good amount of time getting to know the clitoris. \nTo drastically simplify a complex situation, as human embryos develop and begin to develop sexual characteristics, the tissue that turns into a penis in male fetuses turns into a clitoris in female ones. \nMeaning, a similar nerve-ending density exists in both parts, and if you have either one, you probably enjoy having it touched by people you’re attracted to. And what that means is that, while penetrative sex is all well and good, if you have a vagina, your most sensitive sex organ is missing most of the action. \nRELATED: Why You Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex \nBeing a good lover means spending time (assuming this is desired — as noted earlier, not all women like the same things!) lavishing pleasant touch on the clit. \nWhether your partner likes slow, or fast, hard or soft, or different things at different times, using your fingers, tongue, erection or sex toys to play with their clitoris is highly likely to produce a lot of pleasure. Treating it as an afterthought, on the other hand, is highly likely to disappoint. \n5. Ignoring the G-Spot\nWhile the clit appears from the outside to be a little button-like thing at the top of the vaginal entrance, it actually extends deeply into the body, and recent research into female sexual anatomy has led sexologists to begin discussing it in terms of the “clitero-urethro-vaginal complex.” In short, the whole thing is interconnected. \nThat’s likely an explanation for the existence of the infamous G-spot, which may just be the inside portion of the extended clitoris. It’s located on the front wall of the vagina, meaning you access it by inserting fingers (or a sex toy) into the opening and then curling them up and in. \nProper stimulation will cause an erection-like engorgement, and the G-spot itself will begin to feel somewhat raised compared to the rest of the tissues around it. G-spot stimulation can be a great way to make her cum, and it’s also typically the best way to make her squirt, too. \n(Though, like climaxes generally, getting over-focused on making someone squirt can also make it less likely to occur.) \nSo while outer stimulation of the clit is often preferred, G-spot stimulation is another powerful way to make people with vaginas feel good, and incorporating stimulation of each will make you an even better lover. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nWomen Reveal What Finally Made Them OrgasmUnderstanding the Female OrgasmThings Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex", "keywords": "Female, Pleasure, Mistakes, Guys, Make", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/female-pleasure-mistakes-guys-make/askmen-lead-image-2x1-75-1766173629.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/female-pleasure-mistakes-guys-make.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:52:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131342", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is 'Stack Dating' and Should You Try It?", "title_slug": "what-is-stack-dating-and-should-you-try-it", "title_hash": "a3c680060d08aa1b8840a3d6c9638b35", "summary": "Young People Are Exploring the Possibilities of \"Stack Dating.\" What Is It, Really?", "content": "You start your day by meeting a cute fellow runner for a jog followed by coffee. Later, you grab lunch with a dating app match near work. You also have drinks at 6 p.m. with a promising connection, which you’ve conveniently scheduled right before heading to a friend’s house in the area. \nThis is stack dating in action. The idea is to schedule back-to-back dates, often on the same day or intertwined with errands, to maximize efficiency and take the pressure off dating. \nRELATED: The Best and Worst TikTok Dating Trends & Advice \n“Stack dating offers faster feedback and less emotional investment per date,” says psychotherapist Lisa Chen. \nBut is stacking dates the key to finding love or yet another recipe for dating burnout? Here’s what you need to know about the dating trend, what experts have to say about it and whether it’s the right approach for you. \n\nWhat Is Stack Dating? \n\nStack dating, sometimes called “errand dating,” is about treating dating like any other task on your to-do list. Instead of dedicating several hours to an elaborate date and feeling all the anticipation that comes with it, you squeeze several quick dates into your existing schedule without overthinking it. \nRELATED: Is Speed Dating Making a Comeback? \nSome singles choose to combine dates and errands, like going to IKEA or walking the dog, while others book short dates during pockets of free time. There are even people who go on multiple dates in a row in the same evening to be more efficient. \nIt’s not the most romantic premise, but that’s sort of the point. You can think of stack dating like “a series of back-to-back meetings, but instead of different business conversations, you're trading awkward chatter and cocktails,” says Brie Temple, chief matchmaker at Tawkify. \n\nThe Pros and Cons of Stack Dating \n\nBefore booking five dates in a row, consider the benefits and downsides of stack dating. While some daters might thrive embracing the approach, others may feel numb or experience emotional exhaustion. \nPros of Stack Dating:\nBuilds positive momentum: Stack dating can help you feel like your love life is going somewhere. “You're going from one date to the next. You stay confident, limit your emotional investment and don't spiral after one date,” says Chen. As Temple puts it, you stay “in the zone.”Maximizes time: Stacking dates can also help make the most of the time you spend dating. “You can quickly see who you click with,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Kayla Crane. “My [clients], a couple who met via stack dating, are both busy professionals with little time throughout the week, so stack dating was perfect for them.”Lower-pressure way of dating: In a dating culture where it’s easy to get excited about someone only to feel disappointed when you meet in person or things don’t work out, stack dating keeps expectations in check. Dates are more relaxed check-ins instead of high-stakes events.\n Cons of Stack Dating: \nDisengagement: It’s easy to disconnect when you can’t remember who you’re meeting or which one of your dates talked about their love of photography. “All these dates can blur together, and attraction can get flattened. Everyone starts to feel the same,” says Chen.Emotional fatigue: Meeting new people takes effort and emotional energy. Going on several dates in a row can leave you feeling emotionally drained, especially if you’re an introvert.Not for everyone: Even if you’re on board with the idea, your matches may prefer a more conventional approach and feel disappointed or even disrespected by the stack dating concept.\n\nIs Stack Dating Right for You? \n\nOn the fence about stack dating? According to dating coach Monica Wadwa, it might be the right approach for you if you tend to fall in love fast and hard: “If you are someone with an anxious attachment style who gets obsessed with dates quickly, it can be a strategy to alleviate some of that hyper-focus on one particular person.” \nThat said, Temple warns that stack dating can be problematic for empathetic people. If you empathize deeply, it might leave you feeling exhausted from social interaction and less able to connect with your dates. \n\nStack Dating Tips \n\nTo successfully give stack dating a shot, always prioritize presence more than volume, suggests Chen. Take at least 30 minutes between dates and switch up your environment — it will help you reset and slow down even if the day is flying by, which gives chemistry a chance to blossom. \nAlso, resist the urge to compare dates in the moment, as it can be distracting and prevent you from giving each person a fair chance. \nRELATED: How to Conduct a ‘Dating Audit’ \nFinally, do what you need to do to remember names and interesting facts about each person you meet. Take notes after a date if you have to. \n“It’s a matter of basic respect and a massive help in creating a connection,” notes Temple. \nThe point of stack dating isn’t to go on one date after the next mindlessly, but to be present during each interaction. If you can stay intentional and open, it might help you meet the right one faster than using more conventional approaches. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nInternet Dating Slang Terms You Need to KnowUnderstanding the 3-6-9 Rule in RelationshipsHow to Find a Relationship in the Coming Year", "keywords": "What, Stack, Dating, and, Should, You, Try, It", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-is-stack-dating-and-should-you-try-it/askmen-lead-image-2x1-76-1766173745.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-is-stack-dating-and-should-you-try-it.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:52:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131339", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Guy's Guide To Birth Control", "title_slug": "guys-guide-to-birth-control", "title_hash": "a63d85acb67b988b924b49fcb119e223", "summary": "Your 101 Guide to Understanding Birth Control in All Its Forms", "content": "Birth control. Of course you’ve heard of the term, but do you really know anything about it?\nYou might have a slight clue about how your semen can get someone pregnant, and how birth control can help prevent that, but you’re probably left in the dark when it comes to the actual ins and outs of contraceptives.\nIf you’re having sex, chances are you’re already engaging in some birth control practices. (If not, you need to get on that!) You and your partner might be using regular condoms, female condoms, spermicide, or a diaphragm. So if you’re aware of these contraceptive methods already, congrats, you’re doing the responsibility thing well.\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Ejaculation Etiquette \nBut what if they’re using a different birth control method? It could be birth control pills or an IUD (intrauterine device), and you might not really get how they work. But, as long as your partner says you’re protected and having amazing sex, you’re probably good to go, right?\nSadly, this isn’t always the case. Yes, you want to enjoy your time in the sheets, but you also have to think about the benefits of having protected sex, and what it can mean for both of you. Hint: It’s much more than just avoiding unexpected parenthood.\nWhile all birth control methods focus on preventing pregnancy, which is a major plus, some varieties also come with additional sexual health benefits. For example, condoms and female condoms (also known as internal condoms) can help protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), while hormonal IUDs can help ease your partner’s period symptoms. But each birth control method has its own drawbacks, too. \nIf your partner is using hormonal birth control, they might struggle with headaches, nausea, and heavy bleeding. And while you want to be supportive, you might not know how to make them feel better.\nRELATED: How to Talk to Your Partner About Birth Control\nTo get up to speed on the pros and cons of each, it’s worth taking a few moments to school yourself on birth control. You don’t have to be a female contraceptive expert, but knowing about the types available, how they work, the precautions you might need to take, and their potential side effects can help improve your relationship with your partner. Don’t worry: we’ve got your easy birth control cheat sheet right here.\nNew to female contraceptives? It’s important to first understand the different types of birth control methods. Major female contraceptive groups are barrier methods, hormonal methods, long-acting reversible contraception (LARC), and emergency contraception, according to the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD). This might seem like a lot of information to process, so let’s break it down.\n\nBarrier Methods of Birth Control\n\nIf you’re thinking that the barrier must equal “stop pregnancy,” you’re on the right track. These are among the most popular birth control methods on the market.\nHowever, condoms aren’t perfect, and improper usage can lead to pregnancies, so being knowledgeable about them is important. \nRELATED: Common Condom Mistakes\nThe Products: You might already have some of these over-the-counter birth control items in your nightstand or wallet, including condoms and spermicide. Or your partner may prefer using a diaphragm or female condom when you have sex.\nEffectiveness When Used Properly: Condoms (85 percent), female condoms (79 percent), diaphragm (88 percent), spermicide (71 percent)\nHow They Work: According to the NICHD, barrier methods are designed to prevent sperm from entering the female body. Condoms and female condoms can help reduce the risk of STIs when used during sex. Barrier methods can also be birth control options if your partner doesn’t want to use hormonal methods (we’ll get to those soon).\nPrecautions: Using two condoms at the same time is a bad idea. Instead, pair a condom with another method, so you’re extra protected in the event of a malfunction (using a condom and diaphragm at the same time, for example, or condom and hormonal birth control). If your condom breaks, at least there’s another method keeping you safe. “The efficacy of condoms relies on user technique,” says Jennifer Wu, MD, a board-certified OBGYN at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. “Pregnancy can result if the condom is not used from the beginning of intercourse, if there is a rupture in the condom, or if the condom is not used at all,” she says.\nPotential Side Effects: Make sure you or your partner are not allergic to certain materials, like latex, because that could cause an unwanted trip to the ER. If you or your partner is allergic to latex, Wu recommends opting for another type of barrier method, like a lambskin condom, to prevent reactions.\n\nHormonal Methods of Birth Control\n\nHormones, which are responsible for things like menstrual periods, sex drive, and random food cravings, actually play a large role in preventing pregnancy, and involve a birth control group called hormonal methods.\nThe Products: Ovulation is the process of the ovary releasing an egg, so it can be fertilized by sperm. If you’re not ready to have a baby, your partner can use a hormonal method to prevent ovulation. Hormonal methods include birth control implants, birth control pills, birth control injections, and vaginal rings.\nEffectiveness When Used Properly Birth control implants (99 percent), birth control pills (91 percent), birth control injections (94 percent), vaginal rings (91 percent)\nHow They Work: Hormonal methods can help block ovulation by thinning the uterine lining or thickening the cervical mucus. Because these contraceptives can change your partner’s menstrual cycles, they are only available with a prescription; others have to be inserted by a certified health care provider. Some hormonal methods, including birth control pills and vaginal rings, can help lighten cramps and periods.\nPrecautions: Some hormonal methods need to be taken daily or changed frequently, meaning your partner must keep up on maintenance. Wu advises using a barrier method as a backup, such as condoms, during your partner’s first month on a birth control pill, vaginal ring, or birth control injections. Important to note: Hormonal methods do not protect you from STDs, so if that’s a concern, use a condom or female condom during sex.\nPotential Side Effects: Some people using hormonal methods might experience irregular bleeding, nausea, headaches, and in rare cases, develop Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) or a stroke, says Wu.\n\nLong-Acting Reversible Methods of Birth Control\n\nThis birth control group has a wicked long name (long-acting reversible contraception), but it primarily involves a small object called an IUD, short for intrauterine device. For long-term couples, particularly monogamous ones, IUDs can be a great go-to option as they allow for comparatively low-risk internal ejaculation, if that’s something both partners desire.\nThe Products: Copper IUDs and hormonal IUDs\nEffectiveness When Used Properly: 99 percent\nHow They Work: According to the NICHD, IUDs are tiny T-shaped devices placed in the uterus to prevent pregnancy. These devices are available in two different types, copper and hormonal. Copper IUDs help block sperm from fertilizing the egg. Hormonal IUDs release levonorgestrel, a progesterone hormone that thickens the cervical mucus, thins the uterine lining, and can help prevent ovulation. Plus, hormonal IUDs can help ease menstrual symptoms, including cramping and heavy bleeding.\nPrecautions: A major plus of both types of IUDs is that they are good for a few years, unlike other birth control methods that need to be taken daily or changed frequently. Your partner should have the IUD inserted by a certified health care provider, such as an OBGYN, to make sure it’s placed properly and won’t fall out during sex. Further, IUDs won’t protect you or your partner from sexually transmitted infections, however, so use a condom or internal condom during intercourse as needed.\nPotential Side Effects: Some people with IUDs experience irregular bleeding, lack of periods, painful cramping, and perforation of the uterus, says Wu.\n\nEmergency Contraception Options\n\nSo… about last night. The sex was great but you’re freaking out because of a major problem, such as your condom broke or your partner forgot to take their birth control pill. \nKeep calm and get to your nearest pharmacy or drugstore for emergency contraceptives — aka the “morning after pill,” stat. After all, even if you didn’t ejaculate inside them, pre-cum carries sperm and can cause pregnancies as well.\nThe Products: NICHD defines emergency contraceptive pills (ECPs) as hormonal pills that can be taken after unprotected sex. This group includes Plan B One-Step and Ella ECPs. Plan B One-Step is available at pharmacies and drugstores without a prescription, while Ella is only available with a prescription.\nEffectiveness When Used Properly: 79 percent to 89 percent\nHow They Work: These pills can help delay ovulation by thickening the cervical mucus and making sperm inactive.\nPrecautions: It’s important to take Plan B-One Step or other ECPs right away, because waiting might decrease effectiveness. Wu said Plan B-One Step is most effective when taken in the first 12 hours after unprotected sex, but it has some efficiency up to five days after. It could also depend on where your partner is in their menstrual cycle. ECPs can help reduce the risk of pregnancy in a similar way. Because they are taken after the fact, they obviously don’t provide STI protection.\nPotential Side Effects: These pills may cause cramps, headaches, irregular bleeding, nausea, and vomiting.\n\nWhat to Know About Birth Control in a Post-Roe America\n\nUpdate by Alex Manley\nMost of the above advice still holds for American readers in the aftermath of the U.S. Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade on June 24, 2022. But being knowledgeable about birth control is now more important than ever, particularly for those living in a state that has banned abortion recently. \n“For cis men, learning about birth control has always been an important display of respect for their partners who can get pregnant,” says activist and sex educator Nora Langknecht, a former abortion doula and current marketing manager for sex toy brand FUN FACTORY. “But, more than that, birth control helps prevent unwanted pregnancies for everyone involved.”\n“While we tend to focus on its use for the person with a uterus, it is just as much of a resource for the people co-creating that potential pregnancy,” says Langknecht. “I recommend the site Bedsider.org to learn about different methods of birth control.”\n“Withdrawal and condom use are both methods where cis men can take additional control of their own pregnancy prevention,” she notes. “Or, if your partner is buying hormonal birth control, you can always offer to help pay!”\n\nThe Importance of Communication\n\nTalking about birth control, baby-making, or menstruation may be uncomfortable for some people, but preventing pregnancy when you’re not ready for a baby is a two-way street.\nYou might use a condom and your partner might have an IUD, but birth control is a joint effort. Make sure you’re always communicating about potential health concerns and contraceptive choices.\n“Depending on the birth control she uses, your partner may experience side effects, such as spotting or irregular periods, mood changes, heavier periods, cramping, sore breasts, and headaches,” says Dr. Gillian Dean, senior director of medical services at Planned Parenthood Federation of America. \nIf that’s the case, let your partner know that they can talk with you about what they’re experiencing, and if they need to change birth control methods, talk about options together, Dean adds.\nEven though birth control might feel like new territory for you, remember that you’re not just partners in the bedroom — you’re in this together, too. By working together to prevent unplanned or unwanted pregnancies, you can both have safe, enjoyable, and super hot sex.\nYou Might Also Dig\nChoosing the Best CondomWhat to Do If You Hate Wearing CondomsHow to Handle a Pregnancy Scare", "keywords": "Guys, Guide, Birth, Control", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2018/09/13-043419-guy_s_guide_to_birth_control.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/health/guy-s-guide-to-birth-control.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:52:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131151", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Was Burying My Mother When a Ghost Walked Up to Me at the Cemetery", "title_slug": "i-was-burying-my-mother-when-a-ghost-walked-up-to-me-at-the-cemetery", "title_hash": "ee45ac5fdbdaaa82578f3c27a15ea456", "summary": "I lost my boyfriend on Christmas in 2018. He went out with friends at night. He doesn’t drink, but surprisingly he found himself among friends who drank and smoked. On …", "content": "

I lost my boyfriend on Christmas in 2018. He went out with friends at night. He doesn’t drink, but surprisingly he found himself among friends who drank and smoked. On Christmas Day in 2018, he went out with these same friends, they got drunk, and drove their car into a parked tipper truck. He was the only one who lost his life. He never tasted alcohol all his life, but he lost his life because of alcohol. We had dated for three years and were talking about getting married in 2017.

From that day, my heart always felt heavy when Christmas was coming. I would cry for no reason. Friends would wish me merry Christmas, and I would respond with a merry face but a crying heart.

And then on the 24th of December, 2020, another disaster struck. It was at the height of COVID, and the world was already a sad place. I was on the phone with my mom on the morning of the 23rd of December when she told me her chest felt heavy and she was finding it hard to breathe sometimes. She had been complaining of headaches and catarrh all week, but that day she talked about her chest. I asked her to go to the hospital. She told me she was waiting for another day to see if things would be better. The other day was the 24th of December, 2020, when I got a call that my mom had died.

She might have died of COVID but wasn’t counted as part of the statistics because hers happened at home even before she was diagnosed. I cried behind my nose mask for days. “Why do bad things only happen to me in December when we should all be merry?” I asked myself. My boyfriend died on the 25th of December. My mom died on the 24th. Every day of Christmas had been replaced with sadness for me.

During the burial of my mother in January 2021, which almost did not happen because of national restrictions on gatherings, I met a gentleman at the cemetery. He was part of another family who were also burying their dead a few meters away from us. I didn’t get close to my mom’s grave because my heart was hurting and pounding. I was leaning against a tree a few feet away when this gentleman approached. He was wearing a nose mask and dark spectacles, so ninety percent of his face was covered.

He asked, “Who is dead?” I blew my nose before saying, “My mom.” He said, “Get close to the grave. Pray. Say goodbye. Watch her go underneath. It’s a memory you don’t have to lose.” I burst out crying, and he held my hand and took me to the graveside and stood by me. My brother was standing next to us and wondering if I’d found a new brother.

He was with me until we were done and were leaving the cemetery. I said thank you to him, and he took my number. I didn’t even ask who he was or his name. Weeks after the burial, he came to mind. I was like, “Eiii, that guy who took my number, what happened to him?”

That day, he was all over my thoughts. I said to myself, “I wouldn’t even recognize him if he stood here today. I didn’t see his face.” And then another thought flashed, “Or it’s the ghost of my boyfriend who came to comfort me? If not, why hasn’t he called?”

Almost two months after the burial, a foreign number called. The voice didn’t sound familiar. He said he was Francis. I asked, “Francis from where?” He responded, “Francis from the cemetery.” Then it clicked. “Oh yeah, you. What happened to you? You came to mind not long ago. I thought you were a ghost.”

So we talked every day from that day. I learned a lot about him. He was at the cemetery that day to bury a friend’s mother. He told me he had come to Ghana in March 2020 to bury his father. Before he could go back, the world went on lockdown, so he got stuck in Ghana attending more funerals than weddings. After he met me, a little way opened for him to travel back, so he dedicated all his attention to that until he was able to fly back.

He made it obvious he liked me. He made it obvious he wanted a relationship with me, but I was in a place where I didn’t trust myself to be in a long-distance relationship. So whenever he tried to talk about love, I deflected until he cornered me and said, “I need an honest answer today. Look into my eyes on the screen and give me your answer. Are we in a relationship?”

I said yes, and we took it from there. He was supposed to come to Ghana in December 2023, but he didn’t come. I told him, “December is a month of sorrow for me. You’ve added to it. If you had come, I might have had a reason to smile, but look at you. You decided to take the smiles away.”

So during Christmas, we both dressed up and had a digital date. We had a glass of wine and pretended we were together. When I went to church, I put my camera on while he was also in church. We pretended we were worshipping together. It wasn’t the same, but it was something to relish. I loved him more, and the more we did that, the more I needed him close.

In November 2024, I had a call from my mother’s elder brother. He said a man was with him and asking to marry me. “Why didn’t you tell me such a man was coming?” he asked me. I was confused. He said, “He came with Joe.” “Joe? My elder brother? Has he found a man for me?” So I asked him to give him the phone. “Joe, what kind of sick joke is that?” He answered, “The man is here. He said he had been dreaming of marrying you since day one. He came prepared.”

He asked me to talk to the man, and I screamed, “I’m not talking to anyone. Why would you do such a thing without telling me? Don’t you know I have a man I’m seeing? Why should I marry a man I haven’t even seen?” He answered, “Just say a word to him. You’ll know he’s someone you know and love.” He handed the phone over to the man. He said, “Hello Obaa.”

My heart jumped out of my chest. I knew the only person on earth who called me Obaa. I spoke softly, “Francis?” He answered, “I would have left you today if you didn’t know it was me.”

I screamed my lungs out, “How could you do this to me? Are you alright? When did you come? Why are you there and not here?”

A whole lot of silly questions. He had planned our marriage without telling me about it. He got a dowry list from my uncle that day. He said, “Get ready. We are getting married in December.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So on December 21st, 2024, we got married. I said, “Thank you for giving me something good to remember in December.” He responded, “That’s the plan. To make new memories in December.”

We are expecting our first child. I got here in May. In June, I found out I was pregnant. He asked me, “Will the baby arrive in December?” I answered, “Too bad babies are not made in six months. We didn’t plan well.”

—Bridget

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Was, Burying, Mother, When, Ghost, Walked, the, Cemetery", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/66535.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-was-burying-my-mother-when-a-ghost-walked-up-to-me-at-the-cemetery/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-22 03:07:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "131150", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Was Made For Rainy Day", "title_slug": "my-wife-was-made-for-rainy-day", "title_hash": "e5aaa1ac9ed2e642bde308d836868b46", "summary": "For a long time, I believed my wife was doing everything a good wife should do except one thing: contributing financially at home. Whenever I asked about it, she would …", "content": "

For a long time, I believed my wife was doing everything a good wife should do except one thing: contributing financially at home. Whenever I asked about it, she would smile and say she was saving for a rainy day. She promised that when the time came and I truly needed her help, she would not fail me. I always replied that I needed her help every day. She tried, but in my mind, I felt she could do more.

One afternoon, without warning, our landlord told us to move out in one month. We still had about six months left on our rent, but he said he would refund it when we left. From that day, peace left our home. He started picking unnecessary fights, and the pressure became unbearable. We had two children to think about, their school, our workplaces, and the reality of starting all over again.

Finding a house was not the problem. Paying for it was.

Every decent place we saw demanded an amount far beyond what I could raise at short notice. I was frustrated, tired, and quietly afraid. The deadline was closing in, and I felt the weight of being a husband and a father pressing heavily on my chest.

One day, my wife joined me in the search. We entered a beautiful house. The moment I stepped inside, I liked it, but reality checked me immediately. I said, “It’s nice oo, but can we afford it?” After the inspection, my wife turned to me and said calmly, “My spirit finds peace here. Let’s take it.” I answered, “Did you hear the amount they mentioned? Where’s the money?”

When we got home, she brought out a small black polythene bag and placed it in my hands. “Pay and let’s move in tomorrow,” she said. I opened it and froze. It was money. I asked her where she stole it from, half joking, half in shock. She smiled and said, “This is the rainy day. And this is the umbrella I’ve been quietly building.”

What she gave me paid two years’ rent in advance. That day, a burden left my chest. And this was not the first time she had done something like this. Over the years, she has shown up for us in ways I never saw coming, as if she had anticipated our problems long before they arrived.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So today, I say this publicly. Thank you, Matilda Buabeng, for being the wife I needed for this journey. I promise to also be the husband you have always prayed for.

—Bright

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I dated him for four years. Four full years of my life, my youth, my emotions, my body, my hope. Four years of believing we were building something that would eventually become marriage. I was loyal. I was committed. I was certain of him. And in the end, he married someone else and told me I was too young.

What makes it worse is that even a few days before his wedding, we spent the night together. There was no warning or sign that said he was getting married in a few days. He didn’t give me any distance. No hesitation. He held me the same way he always had. He kissed me the same way. He slept with me like a man who had nothing to hide. I never suspected anything. Not once. Then, a few days later, I saw his wedding photos.

I saw pictures of him smiling in traditional cloth, standing beside another woman, surrounded by family and joy. My world felt like it had collapsed inward. I could not breathe properly. I kept closing my eyes and opening them, hoping it was a lie, a prank, or a misunderstanding. It wasn’t. I was witnessing a grand prestidigitation.

I called him immediately. That same night, he came to see me. He apologized endlessly. He said he didn’t know how to tell me without hurting me. He told me, “I wanted to wait for you, but you’re only twenty-two. There are too many years ahead of you.”

He made it sound like my youth was a disease. As if it hadn’t been good enough to marry me, but good enough to sleep with me.

I didn’t forgive him. I was angry in a way I had never known before. I threatened to curse him. I told him he had taken everything from me. My innocence. My belief in love. My brightness. My colors. He said he wanted to compensate me, but I refused. What could compensate for betrayal wrapped in marriage?

A year later, I’m still dating him.

I don’t even know when it became normal. When the pain turned into routine. When seeing him became both my poison and my relief. Sometimes, out of bitterness, I tried to destroy the peace in his house. I wanted to collapse his marriage, so I placed evidence of his cheating ways everywhere, hoping his wife would find it. I secretly slipped used condoms into his back pocket. I left my panty in the backseat of his car. I left earrings, lipstick, everything to cause problems in his house, but his wife never found them. He rather found them and brought them to me.

Each time, he brought them back to me quietly, like a man cleaning his own mess. No confrontation. No fear. No consequences. That hurt even more. It meant I was fighting alone. It meant I was invisible to the person I wanted to hurt the most.

Now I am tired. Tired of sneaking. Tired of sharing a man I knew before everyone else. Tired of hating myself every time I spend time with him. I want to walk away, but I keep going back. All he has to do is call and say, “I’ve missed you.” Or use the pet name only he knows. And suddenly, my resolve disappears. My legs carry me back to him before my mind can catch up.

On his part, he does everything to keep me bound. He gives me money. He buys me things. He fixes my problems. He shows up when I am stuck. And then he gives me headaches that no painkiller can touch. He holds me just enough to keep me hopeful, but never enough to set me free.

I tried to seek God’s intervention to break free. I went to a pastor I trusted and told him everything. I cried. I begged him to pray for me and break whatever bond tied me to this man. He asked me to fast for three days. I obeyed. I was weak, hungry, desperate for deliverance. On the day I was to break the fast, the same pastor almost used me to break his own carnal fast. That alone shattered my trust, safety, and the faith I had in him.

Now guess who I reported the pastor to…the same man I was trying to escape. That is how deep this thing has gone. He has become the center of my being. My default. My escape. My prison. If he tells me today that he wants me as a second wife, my head will scream no. I know it will. But my heart? My silly heart will soften. It always does when it comes to him.

I am not proud of this. I am ashamed. I hate that I am sleeping with another woman’s husband. I hate that I feel manipulated but still stay. I hate that my willpower feels like paper in fire. I want to leave. I want to disappear. I want to reclaim myself. But I don’t know how to do it alone.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

That is why I am asking. Is there anything legal, anything practical, anything real I can do to break free from this shackle he has placed me in? I am not happy. I am not fulfilled. I am not whole. I feel trapped in a love that was never meant to survive.

I hope that by telling this story, something in me will finally stand up and walk away. But if it doesn’t, I will need to rely on your kind words to break free. Please help. I want my life back.

—Princess

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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My friend is getting married and she posted it in our squad WhatsApp group. I was genuinely happy for her. We are five girls who have shared secrets, tears, and laughter for years, so I expected the usual excitement and planning chatter. What I did not expect was a bill.

She said, “Now you girls should prepare to send me some money. I need help.”

If she had left it there, I would have understood her, but she didn’t. She didn’t only ask for help—she actually stated an amount each of us must pay to help her. She announced that every lady should pay GHC1,200 each. She just dropped a figure in the group like an invoice. I reread the message three times, hoping I misunderstood.

A year ago, I got married. My friends showed up for me in many ways, and I am grateful for that, but none of them bought me gifts. I paid for the dresses they wore as bridesmaids. I never once fixed an amount and demanded payment because I believed marriage is a personal decision, not a group project funded by pressure.

Just yesterday, she shouted in the group, “No one has paid. Please start paying before it’s too late.” It sounded less like a friend and more like a creditor chasing debtors. I felt she’s emotionally blackmailing us to fund something we have no business funding. I’ve told individual members in the group that I’m not going to pay. Quietly, they all agreed with me, but loudly, they stayed silent. They are scared or don’t want to be judged.

Now I am the “difficult one.” The black sheep of the family. They know the truth, but no one is asking if it is fair to demand GHC1,200 from friends without discussion. No one is talking about the entitlement that came with the announcement.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So I am asking you. Is it right for me to open up a discussion in the group, addressing all the issues I’ve raised here? I want to do it, but it’s a wedding we are talking about here. I don’t want to sound like I’m ruining the joy of her happy moment. Or I’m the one taking things too far and personally?

—Edith

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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I met her when we were both young and foolish enough to believe that love alone could outgrow circumstance. I was twenty. She was seventeen. At that age, love feels like destiny, not emotion. She was the girl I went to bed thinking about and woke up planning a future with. In my head, marriage was not a question; it was an eventual conclusion.

We behaved like two people borrowing time from the future. She would carry her books and lie to her parents that she was attending evening classes, and we would meet in empty classrooms where silence felt like permission. We stayed late, kissed recklessly, whispered promises we were too young to keep, and pretended the world was not waiting to test us. My parents were strict, and my house was off-limits, so our love learned to survive in shadows. We didn’t have sex, not because desire was absent but because fear was louder. Kissing was our rebellion.

When I entered the university, we tried to keep the thread alive. Calls turned into texts. Texts turned into silence. One day, we spoke for the last time as lovers without knowing it was the last time. There was no fight, no betrayal, no dramatic ending. We simply faded. Time did what it always does. We grew up. I got married. She did not hear about it immediately, but when she did, she congratulated me. Later, she got married too. Life moved on quietly.

Years passed. Sometimes she would text me on WhatsApp. I would reply. Nothing heavy. Nothing dangerous. One day, I was passing through her town and called her. We met at her house because her husband was away. Nostalgia sat between us like an old friend. We laughed at our teenage dreams and the seriousness with which we once loved. By then, she had a child. I touched her cheek and joked, “This one could have been mine if we followed our childhood dreams.” It was a careless sentence, but it meant nothing beyond memory.

Then the tone of our conversations changed. Slowly, carefully, she began to tell me about her marriage. Her husband had been unemployed for three years. They were surviving solely on her salary. She spoke about emotional abuse and sometimes physical violence. Even when he was not providing, he was still breaking her spirit. I pitied her. I helped where I could. I sent money. I connected her to a friend with a boutique and told her to take what she needed for herself and her daughter. I told myself this was kindness to a friend I once loved and cared about.

One day she told me her husband had left the house because he could not pay rent and felt like a burden. I was angry on her behalf. I said things I should not have said. I questioned his manhood. “Why won’t he stay and fight until he gets the money? What is he going to do at his parents’ house? Is he no longer a man?” I helped her pay the rent. Looking back now, I see how easily sympathy turns into involvement when boundaries are weak.

We would go months without talking. Then she would resurface with updates of pain, survival, and endurance. One day she told me she was getting a divorce. I advised patience, not because I believed in her marriage, but because I knew exhaustion can speak louder than wisdom. She told me she was tired, that life had worn her down. She said, “Dave, how long can I stay like this? Look at me now. Was I not a beautiful girl? Now I’m almost tattered. I’m tired.” I listened. I absorbed. I carried weight that was not mine.

For almost a year, we didn’t speak. I avoided her deliberately. Not out of hatred, but self-preservation. I was tired of emotional emergencies that had no resolution. I wondered if the divorce happened. I wondered if she was okay. Then she sent a message accusing me of abandoning her in her hardest times. I apologized. I explained that life had been tight for me too. Then she casually told me to prepare something for her little boy.

That sentence stopped me. I asked, “A little boy?” She answered, “Yeah, I had a boy a few months ago.” She went ahead to send me a photo of the boy. I asked, “You got married again and had a boy, or you had him with the same husband you were divorcing?”

She sent laughing emojis and said, “You’re married, so you should understand the highs and lows in marriage. We are back together again.”

In that moment, a light went off in my head. It was not jealousy or regret but clarity. I realized I had been emotionally manipulated under the disguise of vulnerability. She made me resent her husband, despise her marriage, and carry anger that was not mine, while she stayed, reconciled, and had another child with the same man. I felt foolish. I felt she had only reduced me to an emotional ATM and a temporary shoulder.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Marriage comes with highs and lows, as she said, so she should deal with it without bringing me into her story. I haven’t blocked her yet, but the last two messages she sent haven’t been answered. I hope she gets the message and leaves me alone. Silence is my boundary. If she understands it, good. If she doesn’t, that is no longer my burden.

Love from the past does not give anyone access to your present, and sometimes the most mature thing you can do is step away quietly and let people live with the choices they keep making.

—Dave

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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U.S. immigration enforcement is taking a toll on Dr. Daisy León-Martínez’s patients. The California OB-GYN primarily cares for Latina-identifying pregnant people and those with a Spanish-language preference.

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In the months since President Donald Trump began his mass deportation campaign, some of her patients’ partners have been detained by immigration officials or were removed from the country, she said. Others have left their jobs out of fear of being identified. Some are too scared to travel to essential prenatal and specialist appointments.

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“They don’t feel safe in their communities any longer,” León-Martínez told Rewire News Group. “This is leading people to feel afraid to leave their homes, which, in and of itself, is a very stressful situation.”

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Stress is bad for human health, and that’s particularly true during pregnancy. As the Trump administration’s immigration enforcement raids continue to expand to include both new cities and more violent tactics, medical providers and public health experts are growing more concerned about maternal “weathering”—the increasingly supported theory that the chronic stress from discrimination causes health decline.

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Coupled with accounts of patients who are delaying or avoiding essential prenatal and birthing care, experts worry pregnant people who feel targeted by the administration’s actions—including documented immigrants whose race, jobs, or neighborhood expose them to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)—and their developing fetuses will face more complications before, during, and after birth.

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León-Martínez, who specializes in high-risk care, said some of her patients with no history of anxiety or depression in previous pregnancies are now experiencing “severe symptoms,” like disrupted sleep, heart palpitations, chest pains, and depression, that make caring for themselves and their children nearly impossible. She added that some patients are “requiring significant care,” including hospitalization, as a result.

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“That tells me that these policies are having very deep effects on our patients,” she said.

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How chronic stress impacts pregnancy, newborns

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The concept of maternal weathering dates back to the early 1990s, when public health researcher Arline Geronimus hypothesized that the stress of being exposed to racism, discrimination, and systemic inequality over time could explain why researchers were seeing better birth outcomes in younger Black women compared to those who were older.

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Since then, decades of research have linked stress to poor maternal health outcomes.

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People who experience higher levels of stress in pregnancy are at greater risk of developing conditions like preeclampsia, a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure, and pre-term birth, where a pregnant person delivers before 37 weeks’ of pregnancy, León-Martínez said. Research has also linked stress in pregnancy to low birth weight in infants.

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Those outcomes can be serious for both infants and their parents, experts said.

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“People who develop preeclampsia in pregnancy have a higher risk over the course of their life of stroke, heart failure, and premature death due to cardiovascular disease,” León-Martínez explained. In that case, providers may recommend a pregnant person deliver before their due date to protect them, she said.

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For newborns, pre-term birth is a predictor of chronic diseases later in life, said Goleen Samari, an associate professor of population and public health sciences at the University of Southern California.

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“So if we can prevent issues in childbirth and we can prevent issues around maternal health, we can ultimately help the next generation have less disease burden overall,” Samari added.

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How immigration policy ‘weathers’ pregnant people

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Racism and discrimination can cause chronic stress, which can “accumulate over time and cause the health of the person that it’s impacting to ‘weather,’ or deteriorate,” Samari explained. “Matneral weathering is referring to that process—that leads to accelerated aging, as well as poor health outcomes during pregnancy and childbirth.”

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In the last decade, a handful of researchers, including Samari, have linked specific immigration policies and actions to complications that impact both pregnant people and their newborns.

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A 2017 study published in the International Journal of Epidemiology followed Latina women’s newborns in Iowa after a 2008 immigration raid at a meat-processing plant in the northeast part of the state. Researchers found they had a 24 percent higher risk of being born with a low birth weight than those born a year earlier. White Iowan mothers’ infants did not see a similar increase in risk.

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In 2019, researchers at the University of California, San Francisco identified about 2,300 more pre-term births to Latina women than expected in the nine months following Donald Trump’s election in 2016. Trump’s first campaign and presidency were marked by anti-immigrant rhetoric and a slew of related policies, including family separation at the border, travel bans on Muslim-majority countries, and harsher asylum rules.

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And research published in Social Science & Medicine in 2020 found “significantly elevated odds” of pre-term birth among Latina women living in California who were exposed to high levels of immigration apprehensions in their county of residence.

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Samari’s research followed pregnant women who were born in one of the majority-Muslim countries affected by the first Trump administration’s 2017 travel ban but resided in the U.S. when the policy was announced. The women had a 6.8 percent increase in their risk of pre-term birth compared to their white counterparts.

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‘Complete and utter fear’

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There’s little academic research that looks at this issue since Trump’s second election victory in 2024, experts said—in part because of lags in the availability of maternal health data. But anecdotally, providers told RNG that their pregnant patients are stressed. Some are delaying and avoiding care.

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Dr. Josephine Urbina saw the impact almost immediately.

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Urbina, an OB-GYN and complex family planning specialist in northern California, has a large number of immigrant patients. She said many of her patients are living “complete and utter fear” of the Trump administration’s immigration enforcement operations since the president’s January inauguration.

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That kind of worry compounds with other stressors, like traumatic childhood experiences and poverty, explained León-Martínez. “It’s that cumulative effect of those short-term and long-term stressors that lead to this weathering kind of negatively affecting or breaking down the health of the pregnant person.”

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Pregnancy is a “very vulnerable physiological state,” Urbina added. “Add the chronic stress of, say, being fearful of being detained by ICE … we have definitely seen more pre-term births, more hypertension complications, and more postpartum depression. The stress translates into those complications.”

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And prevention and detection of those complications may be delayed or missed altogether because some patients are avoiding essential care out of fear they’ll be targeted, Urbina said.

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Urbina said more of her pregnant patients are missing prenatal appointments or are not following up on referrals to specialists who manage more complicated pregnancies. León-Martínez noted similar trends in the pregnant people she cares for.

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Some of Urbina’s patients have delayed coming to the hospital.

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“Pregnant patients aren’t avoiding seeking care by choice,” Urbina said. “They’re having to take into consideration the risk of being detained by ICE, as well as trying to navigate a system that’s telling them that they’re not welcome.”

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Sweeping raids make research difficult

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Making the connection between immigration raids and maternal weathering-related health problems may be harder during Trump’s second term.

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Previous research on stress-related pregnancy complications relied on distinct events that targeted a specific population of people—like the meat-packing raid in Postville, Iowa or the California counties with high rates of immigration arrests.

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But the Trump administration’s immigration enforcement this time around is much larger in scale. Major cities—from Los Angeles and Chicago to Minneapolis and New Orleans—have been swarmed by armed and masked immigration enforcement agents, leaving communities petrified. (The Trump administration is reportedly seeking to deport 1 million people in the span of one year.)

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The widespread operations may impact such a broad swath of people—including U.S. citizens—over such an extended period of time that it could be hard to identify a clear association between immigration policies and pregnancy complications in specific immigrant or other minority groups, experts told RNG.

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Researchers also said that controversial policies that affect many people’s reproductive health care and overall sense of well-being—like abortion bans, Medicaid cuts, and Trump’s battle over birthright citizenship—could muddy the relationship between immigration raids, stress, and pregnancy complications.

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And at least three experts expressed concern about future access to federal data and funding for these kinds of projects.

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“My main takeaway is it’s going to be harder to study the impact of this election,” said Alison Gemmill, an associate professor of epidemiology at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Public Health whose research linked poor birth outcomes in pregnant Latinx people to the 2016 election.

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‘It’s only going to get worse’

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Though raids are taking place in immigrant communities nationwide, Latinx groups have been a consistent focus of the Trump administration’s efforts. People from Latin American countries made up 90 percent of ICE arrestees in the first six months of the second Trump administration, according to a report from UC Berkeley’s Deportation Data Project.

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Pregnant Latinx people could see more pregnancy complications as a result, experts said.

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“This is a group that historically has good birth outcomes,” said Annie Ro, an associate professor at the University of California, Irvine’s Wen School of Public Health. “And then to add these kinds of stressors, we don’t know how that’ll change—at the population level—what kinds of birth complications and poor birth outcomes they’ll have.”

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For frontline providers like León-Martínez, it’s not a matter of if, but when those fears come to fruition.

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“As people experience loss of family members and separation from family, they’re becoming more acutely aware and more afraid,” said León-Martínez.

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That’s making them more likely to avoid coming in for care—even when they know they need it, she said.

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“It’s already manifesting,” Leon-Martinez added. “And it’s only going to get worse.”

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The post Pregnant Immigrants and Their Babies May Suffer Complications from Chronic Stress of ICE Raids, Experts Warn appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The abortion drug mifepristone has transformed abortion care in the U.S. since its approval by the Food and Drug Administration 25 years ago.

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When combined with misoprostol, a drug that was originally used to prevent stomach ulcers but that can also trigger uterine contractions, mifepristone makes medication abortions more effective, with fewer side effects. That, in turn, allows people to largely manage their care at home—even in states where abortion is illegal.

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Its surge in popularity following the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2022 decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, which overturned Roe v. Wade and gutted federal abortion rights, has made it a target of anti-abortion groups. The FDA is planning to “review” mifepristone based on those groups’ trumped-up claim of safety concerns, which could potentially lead to new restrictions on the drug.

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Journalist Rebecca Kelliher’s recent book, Just Pills, traces the history of abortion medications, starting with misoprostol’s whispered origins among Brazilian women in the 1980s as a “pill that makes your period back” through decades of clinical trials and widespread use in almost 100 countries.

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Rewire News Group spoke with Kelliher about abortion politics, the disinformation that swirls around reproductive rights, and inspiration from abroad.

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The following conversation has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

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The development of the abortion pill, as you tell it, includes quite a bit of chance: Brazilian women realize that a cheap ulcer medication causes uterine contractions, an American scientist hoping to treat Cushing’s disease discovers that mifepristone blocks progesterone. Does new drug development typically hinge on happenstance or is there something about an abortion pill that required a fair dose of luck?

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I think both are true. A lot of science, in general, is trial and error, which is kind of a degree of chance.

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But when we’re talking about misoprostol and mifepristone’s development in the ‘70s and ‘80s, we’re talking about a time when the pharmaceutical industry was even more male-dominated than it is today. There was just, at that time, a lot of stigma and also not a good understanding of abortion or much interest in pursuing an abortion medication. So I think there’s a degree of chance that was needed in order to get these medications out in the world. It’s kind of amazing that it even happened.

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What restrictions does mifepristone still have, and what restrictions do anti-abortion forces want to impose?

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Mifepristone is still under what’s called the REMS, or Risk Evaluation and Mitigation Strategy, a program that the FDA started for medications that it deemed needed more controls … even though it has a very strong and consistent safety profile.

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We have so much information about its safety, not just in the United States, but around the world, where mifepristone has been approved now in nearly 100 countries.

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What [the anti-abortion movement] is trying to do right now is to put back in place one component of the REMS that the FDA had first removed temporarily in 2021 [during] the COVID-19 pandemic … called an “in-person dispensing requirement,” which meant that … people had to physically go in person to pick-up mifepristone from their provider.

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That was first a temporary removal, and then the FDA made that removal permanent in 2023. That really opened the doors to telehealth abortion in the U.S., which has become such a huge lifeline in a post-Dobbs U.S. We just got the latest numbers from the Society of Family Planning, which found that now nearly 30 percent of abortions in the U.S. are provided via telehealth.

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And for people who are living in states under abortion bans, if they’re seeking abortion in the formal health-care system, we know that they’re getting abortions through what are called telehealth abortion “shield law” providers, [who are] mailing pills directly to people.

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This is infuriating the anti-abortion movement, which is why they want to reinstate the in-person dispensing requirement on mifepristone. If the FDA did that, it would have nationwide consequences.

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This is not the first time the U.S. government is trying to restrict mifepristone—but it’s the first iteration post-Dobbs. Does this feel like familiar territory or a new threat?

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What’s familiar is the underlying false claim from the anti-abortion movement that mifepristone harms women, which is not true. The anti-abortion movement has been pushing this disinformation about mifepristone since the beginning. There are early congressional hearings that I write about in the book that take place in 1990 and 1991 where … American anti-abortion activists [were] spreading this disinformation.

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But the stakes are just so much higher now, because unlike back in the ‘80s and the ‘90s, today we have a post-Dobbs U.S. where huge swaths of the country people are living under abortion bans, and their only route to access might be getting abortion pills through telehealth abortion services.

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What would you tell Congress if called to testify about the FDA “review” of mifepristone’s safety?

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I would say: If this is an honest, fair review of the evidence of medication abortion, then the restrictions that currently exist on mifepristone should be loosened.

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You write in the book that “women in Brazil today have less access to misoprostol than they did three decades ago—and the post-Dobbs U.S. should pay close attention.” What did you mean by that?

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Brazil’s restrictions on misoprostol include restrictions on the spread of … information online about misoprostol use for abortions. And that’s an area that I think we really need to pay attention to in the U.S.

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I think a lot of this is going to come down … to: Do people know that these pills are safe, that they exist, and that there are ways to get them?

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Because if you don’t even have that basic knowledge, then how can you get the care you need or help other people get the care that they need?

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Elsewhere in Latin America, reproductive rights are expanding. In recent years, Chile, Argentina, Mexico, and Colombia have all decriminalized or legalized abortion. What could the U.S. could learn from the strategies used in those countries?

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I spent quite a bit of time in the book writing about this one network called the Socorristas en Red [Aid Workers’ Network]. They formed in the early 2010s under a near-total abortion ban at that time in Argentina.

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They formed because they kept getting calls from people in their community who needed abortion care, and they realized that they actually could safely support people through abortions with pills, specifically with misoprostol. At that time, you could still find [misoprostol] in some pharmacies in Argentina over the counter.

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What’s amazing to me about the Socorristas and other “accompaniment” groups like this is these people … were not licensed clinicians. But they did this work very carefully, and they created strategic alliances with feminists in the health-care sector and in the legal sector, all trying to better protect themselves, their network and the people that they were supporting, while still pushing for changes in the law.

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And they did succeed, as you mentioned. In late 2020, Argentina did legalize abortion, though only up until about 14 weeks in pregnancy.

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What I find inspiring about this for folks in the United States, especially for people who are trying to support those or already are living in states under near-total abortion bans, is it speaks to the importance of community and of keeping each other safe in a moment of serious crisis

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What specific examples could you imagine being applied from abroad to a U.S. state with a very stringent ban?

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Spreading information is still legal, right? Giving good information about abortion pills and their safety and their efficacy—it’s still protected, as far as I understand, under freedom of speech. That’s a pillar of how networks in Argentina … operated [and it’s] something that people can do here.

The post New Book Outlines Medication Abortion’s Origins—From ‘Chance’ Discovery to Decades of Clinical Tests and Global Approval appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Imani Gandy interviews Portia Burch about what it means to get through the holidays when you don’t love them. Together, they talk about companionship, Black joy without the performance or obligation, and building a season that feels steadier and more survivable.

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Episodes like this take time, research, and a commitment to the truth. If you love B*tch, Listen, chip in to keep help Imani keep her podcast going. Become a supporter today.

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Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first.

The post My Holidays Look a Little Different This Year (Thanks, Portia)—Podcast appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", Holidays, Look, Little, Different, This, Year, Thanks, Portia—Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Website-Image.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/12/18/my-holidays-look-a-little-different-this-year-thanks-portia-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 11:08:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130855", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m Not a Fan of the Holidays—But This Year It’s Different", "title_slug": "im-not-a-fan-of-the-holidaysbut-this-year-its-different", "title_hash": "7aaaaa64cfad0ec6efab047b3c50cc8e", "summary": "Imani Gandy used to spend December fighting on the internet. “Arguing was easier than admitting that this time of year made me feel untethered while everyone else seemed firmly rooted in family.” \nThe post I’m Not a Fan of the Holidays—But This Year It’s Different appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The holidays have never been cozy for me. Quite the opposite: I used to fight my way through them. Literally. December became a season of what in the olden days of Twitter we dubbed “discourse”—a time to yell at people online just to feel something.

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My mom is Jewish and my Dad grew up Catholic, but by the time they adopted me, neither of them were particularly religious. We didn’t have a Christmas tree or menorah, and gift giving was pretty low-key. Sometimes we did some Kwanzaa-adjacent celebrations, but it was all fairly tame.

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The holidays weren’t traumatic or sad in our family—they just weren’t a big deal. When I got older, I found that modern holiday culture, with its hyper-commercial focus, leaves very little room for anything other than visible happiness. That can be brutal if you’re single, far from family, or grieving someone who’s no longer there.

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For most of my adult life, the stretch between Thanksgiving and January has been something to endure, not enjoy. It was a seasonal exercise in survival, punctuated by Twitter fights.

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The topic didn’t really matter; the motivation was always the same. I was lonely. I was tired. I was bored. And arguing was easier than admitting that this time of year made me feel untethered while everyone else seemed firmly rooted in family, plans, and belonging somewhere.

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Are you doing your part to keep this reporting alive?

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We need to raise $40,000 by the end of the year, and we are falling short. To help out, a generous donor has agreed to EXTEND their match.

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So here it is: Every donation we receive before the end of the year will be doubled for the next six months.

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Giving monthly is ideal. But if you can make a one-time gift today, it will also be doubled.

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Fighting to fill the void

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Not knowing where I belong has been a theme throughout my life. For too many years, this feeling defined the holidays for me.

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Other people disappeared into their December lives of travel and tradition, and I stayed behind on Twitter—back when it was somewhat fun, before the Nazis took over—convincing myself that jumping into the day’s discourse and batting down bad takes from people who were loud and wrong meant I wasn’t alone.

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Sometimes the arguments were about real things—racism, abortion rights, the slow moral decay of this country. Other times they were about nothing at all, like which Winchester brother on Supernatural is best. (The answer is Dean, obviously.).

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Twitter gave me a feeling of purpose during a stretch of the year when I didn’t have much of one. It offered instant community, instant engagement, and a way to express my boredom through digital fisticuffs with other people who were probably equally bored. I was posting, people were responding, and for a few hours at a time, that felt like doing something.

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Maybe occasionally it was. But mostly, I was just avoiding the quiet of my empty home.

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I don’t think this is unusual, by the way. I think a lot of people use the internet this way during the holidays—not because they’re addicted to discourse, but because it can stand in for presence.

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It fills the hours when other people are busy being with someone else. It gives shape—purpose, even—to days that might otherwise stretch out, quiet and unclaimed. And sometimes that sort of engagement is community. Online spaces can be real, sustaining, and meaningful.

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But for me, it was mostly a way to avoid noticing how alone I felt at a time of year that is designed very loudly to remind you of what you’re supposed to have.

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An online connection turned real

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But this December feels different—not because the holidays themselves have changed, but because my life has.

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For the first time, I’m moving through the holiday season with a partner. And it turns out having someone to be with, someone to talk with, sit with, share the silence with, and sometimes be miserable with changes the shape of December in ways that I couldn’t fully appreciate until it happened to me.

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That shift didn’t come from abandoning the internet or logging off for good. It came from an unexpected connection that started right there.

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During Christmas week 2023, I got into a particularly ugly online argument with some aggressively stupid people. It was one of the rare times I let an internet fight actually get to me, to the point where I couldn’t sit in my empty house and let it go.

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So I messaged a woman I’d had a crush on—someone who seemed like she would get it without a lot of explanation. Someone who understood both the argument and the exhaustion underneath it.

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Portia Burch was someone I’d noticed on Twitter and TikTok, where she had amassed nearly a quarter of a million followers. One of the first things I noticed is how gorgeous she is. (It’s hard not to.)

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But I also noticed that Portia has a real grace about her, particularly when she’s educating her followers on ways to reassess their relationships to whiteness and anti-Blackness. I’ve seen her change how white women think about themselves and the world, and then they teach other white women to rethink those relationships. It’s remarkable.

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Now this was someone I knew would understand the moment. I was irritated, amped up, full of energy with nowhere productive to put it. So I slid into her DMs.

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That conversation gave my restless, buzzing energy somewhere else to go. Here was a person who was as politically-minded as I am, who suffered the same racism and microaggressions that I did, and who understood what I was talking about without me having to defend myself or explain why the racist thing someone said to me was actually racist.

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I stopped focusing so much of my energy fighting online and focused more of it on her—developing our budding connection.

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And over time, as our relationship deepened, the urge to be online all the time—to argue for the sake of arguing—started to fade. I went to a friend’s 50th birthday in Chicago in February 2023 and met Portia, who had recently moved to Chicago, for a drink. And that sparked months of texting and watching TV shows together. (We bonded over Vampire Diaries, and I introduced her to Doctor Who.)

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The point is: When I wasn’t lonely, I didn’t need the internet in the same way. The need to be right, or loud, or constantly present just wasn’t there.

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Happy holidays, even with the world on fire

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Two years later, Portia lives in Colorado with me and we’re celebrating our first holiday season as life partners. We put up our tree together. We’ve spent many nights by its glowing light watching Doctor Who. We bought matching onesies and took cheesy photos. We hung stockings on the mantle for our four dogs. We’re building traditions that we hope will last a lifetime.

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That’s why this December hits different.

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Not because I like the winter season more. It still seems forced and hyper-commercial. But the holidays no longer feel like something I have to push through by force. For the first time in a long time, December isn’t an emotional obstacle course. It feels manageable. Good-ish, even. Which, for me, is notable.

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To be clear: the world is still a mess. This country is still a mess. The Supreme Court is going to continue the deconstruction of democracy and human rights. The social media takes are still bad—worse, even. There is no shortage of people eager to argue on the internet.

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I just don’t feel compelled to join them.

The post I’m Not a Fan of the Holidays—But This Year It’s Different appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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If you are pregnant or a new mother who is struggling with depression or anxiety, you can call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, 24/7: 833-TLC-MAMA (833-852-6262). Postpartum Support International can help connect you with a local mental health provider at 800-944-4773 or psidirectory.com.

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Before giving birth to her second child, Heidi DiLorenzo was anxious. She worried about her blood pressure, and the preeclampsia that prompted her to be hospitalized twice during the pregnancy. She worried that some terrible, unnamed harm would come to her 3-year-old daughter. She worried about her ability to love another baby as much as she loved her first.

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But DiLorenzo, an attorney in Birmingham, Alabama, did not worry about taking Zoloft. She had used the medication to treat anxiety before she had her first child, and she continued it throughout that pregnancy and this latest one.

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And since having her second daughter, in September, she credits an increased dosage with pulling her out of the “dark hole” of sadness she felt postpartum. “I wouldn’t be as good of a mom to my girls if I didn’t take it,” DiLorenzo said. “I wouldn’t have the energy.”

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She is among the estimated 20 percent of women in the U.S. who have depression or anxiety during or after pregnancy. Yet only half of those mothers receive adequate treatment, according to Kay Roussos-Ross, who runs the perinatal mood disorders program at the University of Florida. And just 5 percent take a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, a class of medications commonly used to treat both conditions.

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Now medical experts are concerned that a July panel discussion convened by the Food and Drug Administration could lead to more cases of untreated depression. Many of the ten members of the panel expressed concern about the use of SSRIs, such as Zoloft, during pregnancy. They included Josef Witt-Doerring, a psychiatrist who owns clinics aimed at helping people wean themselves off antidepressants, and Adam Urato, an OB-GYN who recently petitioned the FDA to put stronger warnings on SSRIs.

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While the discussion did not represent any official FDA guidance, the panelists—in claims the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists called “outlandish and unfounded”—linked the drugs to increased risks of miscarriage, birth defects, and autism in children exposed to them in utero. The Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine said its members were “alarmed by the unsubstantiated and inaccurate claims made by FDA panelists.”

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Antidepressants are a safe, “lifesaving” tool, given that mental health issues such as suicide and overdoses are the leading cause of maternal death in the country, ACOG President Steven Fleischman said in a statement on the group’s website.

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Christena Raines, a nurse practitioner who in 2011 helped found the nation’s first inpatient perinatal psychiatric unit, in North Carolina, said SSRIs are “probably the most well-studied medicine in pregnancy.” In long-term studies of children exposed to the drugs in utero, she said, researchers haven’t seen problems.

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It’s too soon to know whether the panel discussion has affected prescribing rates—or whether those who are pregnant are avoiding the drugs more. But Raines, who teaches at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill School of Medicine, said she’s already fielding questions from patients. She said the misinformation the panelists spread—along with President Donald Trump’s distort e d claims about taking Tylenol during pregnancy—is making her job harder.

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Dorothy DeGuzman is a family medicine physician who treats high-risk pregnancies in California. “There’s already so much stigma around taking antidepressants in pregnancy,” she said. “This will just add to the fear.”

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The panel

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The July panel discussion was one of four the FDA has convened since May. In the past, the agency vetted members of advisory committees to avoid conflicts of interest. Yet these panels were chosen in private and the events were held with scant public notice. In a July investigative report by MedPage Today, researchers and consultants raised questions about the events’ ethics and legality.

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Department of Health and Human Services spokesperson Emily Hilliard did not directly answer when asked about the panelist selection process. She called the panel events “roundtable discussions” in which experts review the latest scientific evidence, evaluate potential health risks, and “explore safer alternatives.”

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The July panel appeared to be following an executive order Trump issued in February establishing the Make America Healthy Again Commission and directing it to “assess the prevalence of and threat posed by the prescription of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors” and other medications.

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Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who oversees the FDA, is a frequent critic of such drugs. He has claimed, without evidence, that they might be contributing to school shootings.

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In opening remarks at the July panel discussion, FDA Commissioner Marty Makary also voiced concerns about the medications. “From a national standpoint, the more antidepressants we prescribe, the more depression there is,” he said.

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‘Not a luxury’

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The sole member of the panel who was both a board-certified psychiatrist and an OB-GYN—the University of Florida’s Roussos-Ross—raised a different concern. “Research shows that in women who stop their medications in pregnancy, they are five times more likely to experience a relapse,” she said.

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Mothers with moderate to severe depression and anxiety during pregnancy are more likely to give birth early and have low-birth-weight infants, she added. If they don’t receive treatment, she said, they are more likely to misuse drugs or alcohol and are at risk of suicide. They can have trouble bonding with their babies, Roussos-Ross said, and those children are at higher risk for problems such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, depression, or anxiety—due to their mother’s mental health challenges, not the SSRIs.

\n\n\n\n

“I want to stress that treating mental illness in pregnancy is not a luxury,” she told the panel. “It’s a necessity.”

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Overall, about 19 percent of U.S. women in their 20s and 30s experience depression, according to the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and roughly 10 percent take SSRIs. But studies show that half of women decide to stop taking antidepressants before or during their pregnancies.

\n\n\n\n

One reason so few expectant mothers receive depression treatment, doctors say, is that they are already afraid to take any medications during pregnancy. The majority of DeGuzman’s patients rely on Medicaid, the government health coverage for those with low incomes or disabilities. Half are Latina. She often prescribes SSRIs, she said, but her patients rarely take them.

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The issue is especially urgent for Black and Latina mothers, who experience higher rates of depression and anxiety than white, non-Latina mothers but are less likely to receive adequate treatment. Many factors contribute to this disparity, including systemic racism, exposure to violence, misdiagnosis, and a lack of access to care.

\n\n\n\n

Shanna Williams, a perinatal mental health therapist who treats African American mothers in Philadelphia, said many of her clients were already more likely to trust friends and family over their doctors when it comes to whether antidepressants are safe to take while pregnant or breastfeeding. The FDA panel is “one other voice that’s saying you shouldn’t do this,” Williams said. “And that does not help.”

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Judite Blanc, who studies perinatal mental health in women of color, said universal child care and paid parental leave would help. “My research showed that the most important thing we can offer is social support,” said Blanc, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine. “We need the village to step up.”

\n\n\n\n

Kellyn Haight experienced debilitating depression after she moved to the mountain town of Brevard, North Carolina. The former labor and delivery nurse had no child care for her then-2-year-old daughter and no family or friends nearby as her husband was traveling for work.

\n\n\n\n

Her doctor prescribed Prozac—it didn’t help. She called her husband to return home, but her insomnia just got worse. One morning, she begged him to end her suffering. He took her to the emergency room, and staffers sent her to the psychiatric unit of a local hospital. She said she was stripped of her clothing and put in a locked room. “I felt like a creature, like an animal,” said Haight, now 37. “One of my biggest fears is that happening again.”

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After she was released, Haight found a psychiatrist and started taking Zoloft. She built a community of friends and began to feel stable.

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Now that her daughter is 5, she’s trying to have another child—and plans to keep taking Zoloft throughout the pregnancy. “I would rather be safe and present for my child,” she said. “I’m OK with assuming the risk, because I know what the alternative looks like, and I’m not going there.”

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This article first appeared on KFF Health News and is republished here under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues and is one of the core operating programs at KFF—an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. Learn more about KFF.

The post FDA Panelists Questioned Antidepressants in Pregnancy. But Doctors Call Them a Lifeline. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Leave the holiday stress behind and use the time to reconnect as a couple developing your own meaningful rituals.

The post Ditch the Holiday Stress and Reconnect appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Ditch, the, Holiday, Stress, and, Reconnect", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-1424097621.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/ditch-the-holiday-stress-and-reconnect/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:43:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130426", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Love, Loss, and Holidays: Staying Connected When Hearts are Broken", "title_slug": "love-loss-and-holidays-staying-connected-when-hearts-are-broken", "title_hash": "0bbc5eb646969afea084dd7ca3a545f5", "summary": "Understand why grief hits harder during the holidays and how to connect with loved one when you are in pain. \nThe post Love, Loss, and Holidays: Staying Connected When Hearts are Broken appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Understand why grief hits harder during the holidays and how to connect with loved one when you are in pain.

The post Love, Loss, and Holidays: Staying Connected When Hearts are Broken appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Love, Loss, and, Holidays:, Staying, Connected, When, Hearts, are, Broken", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-2182999002.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/love-loss-and-holidays/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:43:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130293", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Picking Up Girls When You're Short on Time", "title_slug": "picking-up-girls-when-youre-short-on-time", "title_hash": "7d84cbb52b222b7b89e16ea239e58cd6", "summary": "When you’re short on time, or she is, you won’t have time to waste. If you want to pick a girl up under time crunch conditions, you must do it faster!\nLet’s talk about a fun subject: expeditious pickups!\nIn a normal seduction, things unfold over a normal amount of time.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"picking$ When you’re short on time, or she is, you won’t have time to waste. If you want to pick a girl up under time crunch conditions, you must do it faster!

Let’s talk about a fun subject: expeditious pickups!

In a normal seduction, things unfold over a normal amount of time.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Picking, Girls, When, Youre, Short, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/expedited-pickup-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/picking-girls-when-youre-short-time", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:36:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130291", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Build a Bigger Chest", "title_slug": "build-a-bigger-chest", "title_hash": "74f70f666f3bf9380269289297f05c72", "summary": "Here’s one of the most common fitness questions I get:\n“How do I build a bigger chest?”\nThen I ask for their current upper-body workout and they proceed to tell me about their barbell and machine potpourri, how they constantly train to failure, and, oh, how they finish every workout with a protein shake. \nOK… let’s address a few things here:\nDoing everything to failure is a recipe for disaster. Muscles grow when you’re away from the gym, not when you’re beating them to death. If you want a barrel chest, you need to add mass all over. You’ll never build a “big chest” if you’re 6'0\" and 160 pounds — add another 20 pounds and then we can talk about sculpting a huge upper-body. (And don’t forget leg day!).Muscle growth isn’t about the exercises you choose; it’s about consistently adding strength and using set/rep/rest schemes that deliver results.\nThese three points are enough to blow the minds of most guys — now it’s time to put it together for a program. \nRELATED: The AskMen Guide to a B", "content": "Here’s one of the most common fitness questions I get:\n“How do I build a bigger chest?”\nThen I ask for their current upper-body workout and they proceed to tell me about their barbell and machine potpourri, how they constantly train to failure, and, oh, how they finish every workout with a protein shake. \nOK… let’s address a few things here:\nDoing everything to failure is a recipe for disaster. Muscles grow when you’re away from the gym, not when you’re beating them to death. If you want a barrel chest, you need to add mass all over. You’ll never build a “big chest” if you’re 6'0\" and 160 pounds — add another 20 pounds and then we can talk about sculpting a huge upper-body. (And don’t forget leg day!).Muscle growth isn’t about the exercises you choose; it’s about consistently adding strength and using set/rep/rest schemes that deliver results.\nThese three points are enough to blow the minds of most guys — now it’s time to put it together for a program. \nRELATED: The AskMen Guide to a Bigger Bench Press\nToday, I’ll show you the 29-day guide to add size and strength to your chest. This might not look like anything you’ve ever seen before, but that’s okay. “Everything popular is wrong,” said Oscar Wilde. \nHappy lifting. \nP.S. Don’t forget to add an inch to your arms too. \n\nHow This Workout Works\n\nThis program is designed to build a bigger and stronger chest without the bullsh*t. You won’t see 20 different chest exercises here — just bread-and-butter moves guaranteedto add mass to your upper body. \nYou’ll also target the muscles you CAN’T see in the mirror (i.e. your back and lats). Why? Because it’s impossible to build a massive chest without having a correspondingly massive back. In fact, too many pec exercises can actually ruin your posture and cause injuries. \nThat’s why this workout involves lots of pulling exercises to keep your shoulders balanced and develop a strong foundation for you to push from. \nNow… a few addendums:\nEat. If you want to add an inch to your chest, you have to do more than chug a kale shake for breakfast. Eat, eat a lot, and eat a lot of good, whole foods. Go heavy. (You shouldn’t fail, but you should be pushing pretty hard.) Also, focus on doing more each time you lift. If during Week 1 you do a barbell bench press with 200lbs, next time do it with 205lbs. If that’s too much, you can even invest in microplates and do 202.5lbs. There’s only two workouts: Workout A and Workout B. Alternate between workouts and do ONLY two chest workouts per week. Note that some reps are listed “3,3” — those are called “clusters.” You’ll do three reps, take a 5 second break, and do another three reps. This way, you’ll squeeze out more reps with a very heavy weight and get more muscle-building stimulus. \n\nThe Ultimate Chest-Building Routine\n\nWorkout A\nA1) Barbell Bench Press\nSets: 6, Reps: 3, 3, Rest: 60s\nLie on a bench with your chest up, shoulders squeezed together, and feet flat on the ground. Grip a barbell shoulder-width apart and press, keeping your shoulders together. Drive through your heels as well, keeping your glutes on the bench.\nA2) Chest Supported Row\nSets: 6, Reps: 3, 3, Rest: 60s \nStart the movement by squeezing your shoulder blades together and row. Don’t let your elbow pull past your ribcage.\nB1) Dips\nSets: 5, Reps: 10, Rest: 30s\nGet on a dip bar, keep your chest out, and lower yourself until your elbows make a 90-degree angle. At the bottom, drive back up. To keep pressure off your neck, look at a spot on the ground a few feet in front of you. \nC1) Bear Crawl\nSets: 2-3, Reps: 20 yards, Rest: 30s\nGet on all fours with your hands under your shoulders and your knees under your hips; keep your knees an inch above the ground. Crawl forward by taking a small step with your right arm and left leg at the same time and alternate. Keep your hips low and your head up.\nC2) Wide-Grip Pushups\nSets: 2-3, Reps: 15, Rest: 30s\nGet in a pushup position with your hands WIDER THAN shoulder-width apart. Keep your lower back flat and don’t let your hips sag. Lower yourself and keep your elbows close to your body as you descend.\nWorkout B\nA1) TRX Pushups\nSets: 12 minutes, Reps: 2-3 every 10 seconds, Rest: 0s\nHold TRX straps and get in a pushup position with your hands about shoulder-width apart. Keep your lower back flat and don’t let your hips sag. Lower yourself and keep your elbows close to your body as you descend. KEEP YOUR HEART RATE BETWEEN 130 – 150 BPM!\nB1) Wide-grip pullups\nSets: 5, Reps: 5, Rest: 30s\nHang from a chinup bar with palms facing away from you and wider than shoulder-width apart. Squeeze your shoulder blades together and pull yourself up until your chest touches the bar. Go heavy. Use a weight belt or vest if you can. \nB2) Dumbbell Bench Press\nSets: 5, Reps: 5, Rest: 30s\nLie on a bench with your chest up, shoulders squeezed together, and feet flat on the ground. Drive the dumbbells upward, keeping your shoulders back. Drive through your heels, as well, keeping your glutes on the bench.\nC1) Slideboard Chest Flyes\nSets: 2 – 3, Reps: 10, Rest: 30s\nPlace both palms on a slideboard or separate Valslides. While in a pushup position, lower yourself by spreading your elbows and hands far apart. Once you get to the bottom, slide those arms together to drive yourself up. To make it harder, elevate your feet, throw on a weighted vest, or put a plate on your back. \nC2) Double Waiters Walk\nSets: 2-3, Reps: 30 yards, Rest: 30s\nGrab a heavy kettlebell in each hand and hold both overhead. Keep your shoulders down and back and walk while keeping your hips and shoulders level. Keep your wrists and elbows as straight as you can.\nAnthony J. Yeung, CSCS, is a regular contributor featured in Golf Digest and Men's Fitness and the founder of GroomBuilder, the 8-week fitness program to transform the way you look for your wedding. \nYou Might Also Dig:\nFitness Awards 2023: Best Home Gym EquipmentBest Mass Gainers for Skinny Guys50 Muscle-Building Foods", "keywords": "Build, Bigger, Chest", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/build-a-bigger-chest/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1765996247.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/build-a-bigger-chest.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:36:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130292", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Exercise Reduces Anxiety Differently Than Meditation", "title_slug": "how-exercise-reduces-anxiety-differently-than-meditation", "title_hash": "0755885db44c896c8e9bab793355d3d3", "summary": "Channel Your \"Restless Energy\" Into a Killer Workout to Help Get a Handle on Your Anxiety", "content": "If you struggle with anxiety, you may know that exercise and mindfulness meditation can help. \nThese habits are gaining traction as tools to improve overall well-being, in part because of a growing awareness of the mind-body connection — 79% of Americans believe that mental health has an impact on physical health, according to the American Psychiatric Association (APA).\n \nBut while both working out and meditating can be effective to combat anxiety (in combination with the treatment plan suggested by a healthcare professional), they help in different ways. And if you don’t like sitting still, you may be wondering if you can skip the meditation practice in favor of a sweat session.\nRELATED: How to Spot Depression in Men\nTo help you tailor your routine to your unique needs, here’s what you need to know about the anxiety-busting benefits of exercise versus meditation. \n\nThe Anxiety-Reducing Benefits of Exercise\n \n\nYou’ve likely heard of — or experienced first-hand — runner’s high, the positive feelings brought on by the endorphin release during a workout. \nAccording to Dr. Earl J. Campazzi, Jr., physician and author of Better Health With AI, endorphin is a natural painkiller, and there are other physiological changes happening during exercise that have an impact on your mood, from an increase in feel-good brain chemicals like serotonin and dopamine to a decrease in cortisol, the stress hormone.\n \nRecent research also revealed that breaking a sweat triggers the release of endocannabinoids, naturally produced chemicals that are very similar to the THC in cannabis — so the expression “runner’s high” can now be taken quite literally. \nWhen you’re stressed out or anxious, you also produce adrenaline, which gives you that jittery feeling that isn’t pleasant but is part of your fight-or-flight response and meant to help you spring into action. Studies show that aerobic exercise can lower stress hormones like adrenaline and improve well-being.\n \n\nHow Exercise and Meditation Help Relieve Anxiety In Different Ways\n\n \nSo, what’s the difference between exercise and meditation for anxiety relief? “You can think of exercise as a bottom-up approach — the body affecting the brain. Meditation is a top-down approach — the brain affecting itself and the body,” says Campazzi. \nMindfulness-based techniques reduce stress by helping you change your thoughts and emotions. That said, it would be reductive to view meditation purely as a mental and emotional mechanism and exercise as a physical one.\n \nWhen you meditate, for example, you slow down your breathing, which can help regulate your nervous system and make you feel calmer. And, on a psychological level, exercise “helps the mind move away from rumination,” when you play negative thoughts on repeat, says Karol Ward, LCSW and author of “Worried Sick: Break Free From Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental & Physical Health.” \n\nExercise vs Meditation: Which One Is Best for You?\n\n \nBoth habits come with benefits, and it certainly doesn’t hurt to adopt both. But which one is best for you if you had to start with one? It depends on your unique personality. \n“Being trapped in a sedentary situation [can make some people] more anxious. While it’s an oversimplification, there are doers and thinkers. For doers, meditation can feel like fighting against their nature. Exercise works with their restless energy,” says Campazzi.\n \nAs Campazzi puts it, that restless energy has to go somewhere. “While meditation does help the body shift into the relaxation response, for some people there is too much adrenaline (due to stress and anxiety) to be able to sit still,” adds Ward. “This person needs to discharge the adrenaline. You know this has occurred when there is a feeling of calmness after an activity.” \nIf you recognize yourself, you may be wondering whether some workouts are better at reducing anxiety than others. Campazzi recommends a sustained, moderate-intensity workout of at least 30 minutes to trigger positive biochemical changes.\n\nThe Best Workouts for Anxiety Relief\n \n\nThat said, different moods may call for different types of movements, according to Ward. “Psychologically speaking, I have found that if someone's mood is anxious, agitated, nervous, angry or irritated, the best physical activities are aerobic and anaerobic; expending high energy over different lengths of time,” says Ward. “If someone's mood is sadness combined with anxiety such as feeling fearful, tearful, low-energy or needing comfort, then the best physical activities are easy and relaxed.” \nIn other words, activities like running or boxing may feel better if your anxiety is paired with agitation, but if you’re feeling low, a walk or a gentle yoga session may be more effective.\n \nDon’t overthink it though. Regular movement is the most important. “The key is to form a new habit,” says Campazzi. If you don’t know where to start, just go for a walk the next time your anxiety gets the best of you. \n“With walking, you'll discover if you want to do more or less movement and can adjust accordingly. It also will allow your mind to focus on something else, which, in turn, will disrupt anxious thoughts,” notes Ward.\n \nAs always, it’s important to consult a healthcare professional if you’re struggling with anxiety, as exercise or meditation alone may not be enough to manage your symptoms. But these habits never hurt, and if you’re someone who struggles with sitting still, you may as well embrace a routine you’ll stick with. \nYou Might Also Dig:\n How to Deal With AnxietyDos and Don'ts of Mental HealthMental Health Basics All Men Should Know", "keywords": "How, Exercise, Reduces, Anxiety, Differently, Than, Meditation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-exercise-reduces-anxiety-differently-than-meditation/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1765988003.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-exercise-reduces-anxiety-differently-than-meditation.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:36:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130289", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Walmart Live Holiday Gift Guide for Her", "title_slug": "walmart-live-holiday-gift-guide-for-her", "title_hash": "230afba45a355cebe2781f2e71d8bbbc", "summary": "Don't Have a Gift for Her Yet? Don't Worry, We've Got You Covered With This Guide", "content": "Product photos from retailer site.\nStill searching for the perfect, last-minute holiday gifts? Yeah, me too. Fortunately, Peta Murgatroyd and Maksim Chmerkovskiy — fan-favorite professional dancers from \"Dancing With the Stars\" fame — had a ton of great gift ideas to share during their Walmart Live x TalkShopLive holiday gift guide. \nThe pair's carefully curated picks hit the perfect balance of style, practicality and just a bit of indulgence for everyone on your list. They're thoughtful yet totally uncomplicated, making these easy wins for both you and your giftee. There are also lots of options to fit every budget, from under-$25 picks to splurges to spoil your loved ones. So be sure to check out the video above for dozens of top gift ideas so you can finally close out your holiday gift list — then kick back and enjoy the rest of the season. You just might find something great to gift yourself for the holidays, too.\nPeta and Maks are also a real-life couple — married since 2017, with three young sons — so it's safe to say they know a thing or two if you're still looking for a great gift for your wife or girlfriend. If that sounds familiar, we're highlighting some of our favorite gift ideas for her from the duo's list below. Peta, in particular, has partnered with Walmart to share her favorite fashion, beauty and wellness products for a while now, so I definitely trust her guidance in this realm!\n\nPeta and Maks' Best Gift Ideas for Her From Walmart\n\nGood Molecules Skin Prep Essentials Kit\n\nNo matter her skin type, this trio of skin prep essentials from Good Molecules will transform her daily skincare regimen with simple, clean ingredients and a quick and effective 1-2-3 routine. The kit includes Hyaluronic Acid Serum for deep hydration, Yerba Mate Wake Up Eye Gel to reduce any under-eye puffiness (not that she has any, of course!) and a Lightweight Daily Moisturizer to nourish her skin. I can personally attest to the greatness of Good Molecules' Hyaluronic Acid Serum — it's a must-have for hydrated skin, especially in these cold, dry winter months. And the best part is that the brand is very budget-friendly, so when she runs out and wants to buy more (and she will), it won't cost an arm and a leg like other brands.$17.97 at Walmart.com \nAvia Women's ScubaKnit Quarter-Zip Pullover\n\nThis quarter-zip pullover delivers the ideal combination of a cozy feel with a polished look. The elevated loungewear is made from soft, smooth, double-knit scuba fabric, which is both structured and a little stretchy to provide comfort for any activity (or inactivity, for that matter). Plus, the neutral color and banded hem keep things sleek and easy to pair with matching joggers and sneakers, or denim and boots. Whether she's headed to the gym, to brunch with friends or just working from home, this is bound to become an everyday staple in her closet. $19.98 at Walmart.com \nNintendo Switch 2 + Mario Kart World Bundle\n\nThere's a high chance that some of your girlfriend's favorite Gen-Z and millennial content creators have been singing the praises of relaxing hobbies like \"cozy gaming\" in recent years. Whether she grew up with a Game Boy and never looked back, or you've noticed she may be interested in picking up gaming as a new hobby, the Switch 2 would make an epic gift this holiday season. From co-op and party games you can play together to narrative games she can curl up with like a good book, there are tons of Switch 2 games to suit her play style when she needs to unwind from a long week. This bundle even comes with one of the best, and it's a smart buy too; the brand-new Switch 2 sells for $449 and the Switch 2-exclusive \"Mario Kart World\" goes for $80, so getting them both here saves you about $30.$499 at Walmart.com \nJoyspun Women's Suede Moccasin Slippers\n\nWho couldn't use a cozy moccasin to shuffle around the house during these cold winter months? The memory foam interior is soft and cushy for maximum comfort, and they have durable rubber outsoles for solid traction, both indoors and out. It also doesn't hurt that this pair is super stylish, so she can pop out and get the mail without worrying about the neighbors spotting her in some silly or unfashionable slipper.$20.98 at Walmart.com \nKitchenAid Deluxe Series 4.5-Quart Tilt-Head Stand Mixer\n\nIf she loves to bake, the iconic KitchenAid Stand Mixer is a pivotal upgrade to her kitchen setup. The durable metal mixers are designed to hit a whopping 59 touch points around the included stainless steel bowl, saving time and frustration as she doesn't have to keep stopping to make sure every last bit gets incorporated into her dough or batter. The dishwasher-safe, 4.5-quart bowl can also mix up enough dough for eight dozen cookies at once (so yes, you can probably sneak a few without her noticing). It also has thoughtful details like 10 different speeds, a convenient tilting head and the ability to add attachments to increase functionality in the future. It's still a bit of a splurge, but the current sale brings the price way down — making this a smart buy that will really impress this holiday season.$279 at Walmart.com \nNeed more gift ideas for everyone on your list this holiday season? Check out all of Peta and Maks’ picks in the TalkShopLive x Walmart video above.", "keywords": "Walmart, Live, Holiday, Gift, Guide, for, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/talkshoplive-holiday-gift-guide-for-her/askmen-lead-image-2x1-71-1765987964.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/walmart-live-holiday-gift-guide-for-her.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:36:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130290", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Should You Propose to Your Partner at Christmas?", "title_slug": "should-you-propose-to-your-partner-at-christmas", "title_hash": "9a178498e39f1e96f6c857e9d9a7870b", "summary": "Is the (In)Famous Holiday Proposal Romantic or Cringe? We Found Out", "content": "It can be hard to know when, exactly, to pop the question to your partner. \nIf you’re a guy, your chances of getting proposed to are fairly low; taking into account all the different gender configurations of relationships out there, most proposals are initiated by a guy. So when do you finally do it? \nA lot of people choose to do it in wintertime, and yet more choose to do it around the holidays. But what about doing it, well, on Christmas? \nThe Christmas proposal does make a certain kind of sense. It’s a special day, why not add a special moment to it? It’s about gift-giving, why not give someone an engagement ring? It’s about family; why not ask someone to officially, legally join your family? \nHowever, not everyone appreciates those synergistic aspects. Many see the Christmas proposal as tacky; and it brings with it a host of potential issues that standalone proposals don’t carry. \nRELATED: Guys Reveal the Mistakes They Made When Getting Married\nSo who’s right? In order to get a better idea of whether the Christmas proposal is a good idea or not, AskMen spoke to a couple of relationship experts, as well as polling some regular folks on their opinions. Here’s what they had to say: \n\nHow Common Are Christmas Proposals?\n\n“Many wedding industry surveys show that the holiday season, specifically November through Valentine's Day, tends to show an uptick in proposals,” says Marisa T. Cohen, marriage and family therapist. “Proposals are often clustered around family gatherings during the holidays.”\n“According to Statista, in 2020, 19% of all proposals happened in the month of December,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D, psychotherapist and author of 52 Weeks to Better Mental Health: A Guided Workbook for Self-Exploration and Growth. “I experience that with my clients, many of whom ask for guidance about proposing, especially during the holiday season. My own husband proposed to me on the Sunday after Christmas, at his housewarming party.”\nThat being said, data on proposals that occur on Christmas Day itself is harder to come by. However, it is a familiar trope and, anecdotally, seems like a fairly common pick. It makes sense — as noted above, Christmas is already a time associated with gift-giving, special moments, family and surprises. However, that doesn't mean it's a perfect fit by any means. So let's dive into the pros and cons: \n\nThe Pros & Cons of Proposing at Christmas\n\nPro: Celebrate With Family\nIf you’re celebrating the holidays with family, hopefully you have a good relationship with them, which means extra people you love who will be excited about the proposal. \n“Many people are drawn to proposing during the holiday season because it naturally lends itself to shared celebration, as your loved ones are already gathered,” says Cohen. “This makes it easy to include family and friends in the moment.”\nEspecially if those family members live far away or aren’t often around, a Christmas proposal can be a great way to make them part of the excitement. \nRELATED: How to Plan Spending Christmas With Loved Ones \nCon: Less Intimacy\nThe flip-side of the family thing, however, is that family members aren’t always fun to be around. \n“Because gatherings are already planned around a different purpose, the proposal may not feel as special to everyone involved,” says Cohen. “If someone was hoping for a quieter, more intimate moment, proposing in the middle of a large family gathering can shift the focus and experience.”\n“There’s a trend, especially with social media, of doing big, splashy proposals (on the scoreboard at a game; with a flyover banner; at a fancy restaurant with everyone watching),” says Tessina. “I don’t recommend doing that.” \n“In the first place, if the answer happens to be ‘no’ you’ll be both heartbroken and mortified,” she explains. “Even if the answer is yes, your intended can feel embarrassed and overwhelmed by the public nature of the event.”\nThat still applies for asking at a family gathering; the mere presence of other people, even if they’re relatives, can change the way the moment feels, and not always for the better. \nPro: Holidays Are a Special Time of Year\nThanks in part to many people having time off from work, the approach of the new year and the closeness of the winter solstice, Christmastime can feel like it’s its own thing entirely, separated from regular life, which can work to your advantage. \n“The holidays can also be a reflective time of year, when people slow down and focus on what matters most to them, including connection, commitment, and the future they are building with their partner,” Cohen says. “Taking the next step in a relationship can feel especially meaningful.”\nEven if it’s not as visually impressive, “It is much more romantic to be simple about it,” Tessa says. “Bring your intended to a place where you two have enjoyed being alone together, and ask there. Your odds of success will increase if the location is romantic and meaningful to both of you. Then you can make the social media splash when you announce your engagement and show off the ring.”\nWhether it’s picturesquely snowy or (more likely) not, going for a moonlit walk together on Christmas night could be the exact right moment to kneel down and pop the question. \nCon: Extra Stressors\nWhile the holidays are often seen as a joyful time, they can also be stressful for that same reason as people’s expectations run sky-high. \n“Depending on where the holiday is being celebrated and who is hosting, travel, preparation, and family dynamics can add stress, which may dampen what is meant to be a joyful moment,” says Cohen. \nIf your partner, for instance, is a major part of the holiday planning and is feeling overwhelmed and overworked, they might not be in the right state of mind to properly appreciate a big romantic gesture with life-changing implications, even if it comes from a place of love. \nPro: There’s Cover for Your Secrecy \nIf you need time alone to purchase a ring or plan the proposal out, it won’t seem as suspicious, since pre-holiday gift planning often requires a degree of deception. In fact, if your story doesn’t add up at any point, you can (truthfully) tell your partner you’re planning their surprise gift, without revealing what it is. \n(Speaking of sneaking, you may want to do some surreptitious work to figure out how big your partner’s ring finger is before you make any big purchases…) \nCon: It May Be Seen as Tacky\nMultiple women AskMen spoke with on the matter essentially said the same thing: Christmas proposals are kind of… well, tacky. \nThat’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean every person sees the matter that way, but it is something to keep in mind. If your partner is often particular about things and dismissive of fads, trends or popular things, there’s a chance they might see a Christmas proposal as falling into that and prefer something more original. \nRELATED: Unique Christmas Gift Ideas\nUltimately, it’s a question of what works best for you and (especially) for your partner, since you have more control as the asker. \n“I would recommend a holiday proposal if you are both close with your families and genuinely want them to be part of the celebration,” says Cohen. “It can be especially meaningful if your relationship has been shaped by a shared love of the holidays or a deep appreciation for seasonal traditions. \nHowever, she notes, if you and/or your partner are more about privacy and intimacy, you may prefer to focus on moments less associated with family togetherness. \n“There is no one-size-fits-all approach,” Cohen says. “Preferences vary; some people dream of something small and private; others want something big and celebratory. Some people prefer to be involved in the planning, while others hope for a complete surprise.”\nUltimately, she says, it’s about knowing your partner well enough to have a clear sense of what they’d like. \n\nChristmas Proposal Dos & Don’ts\n\nIf you feel like the Christmas proposal is right, how can you make it work for you and your partner? \nThink About What Your Partner Would Want\n“Consider the type of proposal your partner wants,” says Cohen. “For example, do they want their family (or yours) to be involved in the actual proposal itself, or would they rather keep that moment private and invite loved ones in to celebrate afterward? These distinctions matter, as they shape how the experience will feel.”\nHopefully, you have a sense of what your partner likes and dislikes, and you may even know what kind of proposals they find tacky vs. romantic. Ideally, you’ve talked in the past year or so about marriage and proposals at least a little bit, whether straightforwardly or in a roundabout way, so as to get a clearer sense of how to approach the situation. \nAnd, if you ultimately realize you’re not 100% confident your partner would be stoked by a Christmas proposal, or if you realize it’s just not realistic to afford the kind of ring you’d want to give by Christmas, there’s no harm in waiting a little longer and popping the question further down the road. \nDon’t Treat the Ring Like an Afterthought\nSpeaking of the ring, if you’re giving your partner a ring for Christmas, put some thought into it, the way you would into a very expensive and meaningful gift… particularly with regards to what they would want in a ring. \nIf you haven’t already talked about it — which, realistically, you should before proposing — you should “do your best to get some information about what your intended would like” when it comes to a ring, says Tessina: “Window shop with her at jewelry stores to get an idea of what she’d like for a ring; unless you have a family heirloom to use.”\nThe idea is for your partner to wear the ring for the rest of their life, so it’s important to get something they like, she adds. \n“Most jewelry stores will let you exchange a ring for something she likes better,” says Tessina, but lots of people might be reluctant to complain about a ring they don’t like for fear of hurting their partner’s feelings, particularly if you pop the question in front of a bunch of family members. \nBe Thoughtful About When You Ask\nThough jaw-droppingly intricate proposal ideas are probably not the move, that doesn’t mean it has to be humdrum. One approach Cohen recommends for a Christmas proposal is to incorporate it into an aspect of the Christmas celebration that holds special meaning for your partner or for the two of you. \n“For instance, if you’re visiting family for the holidays and your partner often talks about how much they love caroling with the neighbors, that familiar and joyful tradition might be the perfect, meaningful moment to get down on one knee.” \nThat being said, if you haven’t discussed it much, or at all, doing it privately is a better bet. \nIf it’s going to be a big surprise, keeping at just the two of you means your partner won’t feel pressured by the presence of others to respond a certain way, which can mean you’ll get a more genuine response. \nThen, if they say yes, you can celebrate together with family afterward. \nHowever, if you’ve talked about it enough to know your partner will say yes and that they’ll be into a Christmas proposal, doing it during the present-opening portion of the day — whether that’s first thing in the morning, the night before, or some other part of the day — can still be the right move. \nJust make sure you ask someone else who’ll be present to surreptitiously film the thing so you can get the look on your partner’s face when they realize. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nWhat to Do If You’re Feeling Pressure to ProposeTop 10 Reasons to Get MarriedBad Reasons to Get Married", "keywords": "Should, You, Propose, Your, Partner, Christmas", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/should-you-propose-to-your-partner-at-christmas/askmen-lead-image-2x1-72-1766041448.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/should-you-propose-to-your-partner-at-christmas.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:36:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130288", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Leg Exercises", "title_slug": "best-leg-exercises", "title_hash": "24e80432e729a421800ef4564b241fef", "summary": "Forget abs and biceps for a change and focus on sumo squats, dead lifts and lunges with these 10 leg exercises.", "content": "Your legs are, quite literally, your body’s foundation. They have the difficult job of carrying the weight of the rest of your body, and everything from standing up to jumping requires a coordinated effort from multiple lower-body muscle groups.\nThe benefits of strong legs don't just accrue to athletes, though. They’ll help you injury-proof your body, correct your gait, and improve your posture. And let’s not forget about the aesthetic benefits. A strong chest, boulder shoulders, and bulging biceps are great and all, but if they’re attached to a pair of stick legs, you’ll find yourself wearing pants all year.\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out Your Legs?\nNow that you’re resolved to train your legs, though, where do you start? We’ve picked out the ten best leg exercises for muscular growth, strength, and athletic performance. You don’t have to do all of them; feel free to mix and match. We promise, if you focus on progressing in these movements, you’ll grow a pair of legs to be proud of, and you’ll never again be ashamed to wear shorts.\n\nBarbell Back Squat\n\nWhat’s good about it: The barbell back squat is not only the single best leg exercise, but possibly the best single exercise, period. It recruits a huge amount of your musculature, enabling you to lift heavy weights and progress quickly, and the strength you build in this exercise directly translates into athletic performance. There’s also something deeply satisfying about heavy, full-range squats; they’re a marker not only of your strength but of your flexibility.\nWhat muscles it works: Quads, glutes, hamstrings, and core\nTechnique tips: With your feet shoulder-width apart and the barbell resting on your shoulders (not on your neck), and while keeping a tight core, descend to the ground by dropping your hips. Maintain core tightness and a neutral spine, and descend until your quads are roughly parallel to the ground. Pause for a split second at depth, and then drive through your heels to return to the starting position.\n\nLunges\n\nWhat’s good about it: To properly train your legs, you need to work them in tandem and in isolation, and lunges are a painful, willpower-testing way to torch those muscle fibers. Many athletes happily take to the squat rack but shy away from lunges – and we can understand. These require good core stability, strong and flexible hips, and good muscular endurance. You don’t need to use very heavy weights. What you need to do is concentrate on perfecting your form and lunging to your full range of motion.\nWhat muscles it works: Quadriceps, glutes, hamstrings, calves, and core\nTechnique tips: While holding two dumbbells or a barbell over your shoulders (as in the back squat), lunge forward until the knee of the lunging leg is roughly over your foot, making your upper leg parallel to the floor. From this position, push through your front foot, driving yourself back to the starting position. Repeat these exact motions with the other leg.\nRELATED: Should You Do Squats Every Day?\n\nBarbell Front Squat\n\nWhat’s good about it: The front squat is the often-neglected baby brother of the back squat. You won’t be able to use as much weight or recruit as much muscle fiber, but that doesn’t mean front squats don’t belong in every self-respecting leg routine. They emphasize the anterior chain, especially the quadriceps, and athletes – whose movements are often quad-dominant – need to pay particular attention to their front squat strength, since this movement also has high applicability to all kinds of sports. Another big benefit to the front squat is the barbell position: if you can get the requisite flexibility in your shoulders to hold the bar in front of you, you’ll take a lot of stress off your back and spine. Many people recovering from back injuries find front squats much easier to perform.\nWhat muscles it works: Quadriceps and upper backTechnique tips: With your feet shoulder-width apart, rest the barbell on your front delts, while keeping it in place with your fingers under the bar and your elbows at shoulder-height (this might require some work on your flexibility). Descend by lowering your hips, while preventing your knees from caving inward. Stop when your quads are parallel to the ground, and then return to the starting position by pushing into the floor. Make sure your elbows don’t drop, as that will cause the bar to roll out of position and possibly fall.\n\nLeg Press\n\nWhat’s good about it: The leg press is a safe and effective way to train your legs at a high volume. For this reason, they’re a staple exercise among bodybuilders, who are always seeking to maximize time under tension, but athletes shouldn’t neglect it, either. A bigger leg is, generally, a stronger leg, and few exercises contribute to leg growth quite like the leg press.\nWhat muscles it works: Quadriceps, glutes, and hamstrings\nTechnique tips: The leg press requires a leg press machine, in which you sit with your back tight against the pad. Place your legs on the leg press platform at roughly shoulder-width distance, then, when you’re ready, disengage the safety mechanism (these vary by machine) and push into the platform, driving through your heels, until your legs are almost straight. Then descend slowly, controlling the weight, until your quads are parallel to the platform. If this is your first time doing the leg press, deliberately lower the weight until you’re familiar with your limits.\n\nStiff-Legged Deadlifts\n\nWhat’s good about it: If you live in the modern world, there’s a good chance your posterior chain is weak and underdeveloped. Why? Because you probably spend an inordinate amount of time sitting in a chair. Here’s an iron law of human musculature: muscle imbalances lead to injuries, and one of the more common imbalances is overdeveloped quadriceps and underdeveloped hamstrings. Stiff-legged deadlifts directly address that weakness, enabling you to fortify your posterior chain.\nWhat muscles it works: Glutes, hamstrings and lower back\nTechnique tips: Stand tall, while holding either a barbell or a pair of dumbbells in front of your quads. Lower the weight by sticking your butt out and bending at the weight, doing your best to keep your hamstrings straight. Your flexibility will determine your range of motion, so stop when you begin to feel a slight discomfort, and then rise up with a straight back to the starting position.\n\nHip Thrust\n\nWhat’s good about it: Hip thrusts are an old-school exercise that fell out of favor until very recently, when some Instagram influencers discovered that they’re extremely effective at building up the glutes.\nWhat muscles it works: Glutes, hamstrings, hip adductors\nTechnique tips: Hip thrusts can be done with or without weights, and with or without the assistance of a machine. The basic setup involves you on your back, with your knees raised and your butt and feet flat on the floor. Contract your glutes to drive your butt up until your quads and your torso form a straight line. That’s the end point. From there, descend slowly to the original position. That’s one rep. A more common variation involves using a barbell, as demonstrated below.\n\nDeadlift\n\nWhat’s good about it: The deadlift competes with the barbell back squat for the title of “single best exercise,” and for good reason. It recruits muscles from across the entire body, and enables you to work with very heavy weights. Making progress in the deadlift will directly translate into athletic performance, and help you see strength gains across your body, from larger muscle groups like the hamstrings and glutes to smaller groups like your forearms.\nWhat muscles it works: Hamstrings, glutes, back, core, traps, forearms\nTechnique tips: Approach a loaded barbell on the floor, with your feet shoulder-width apart, until the bar is over the midpoint of your feet. Use a hip hinge to lower your hands until they can grasp the bar, and then pull the slack out of the bar, while keeping your back straight. You’re now “locked in” and ready to lift. Push into the floor, engaging the quads, to get the initial lift off, and then use your hamstrings and glutes to “unhinge” until you’re standing straight, with the bar at your thighs.\n\nLeg Extension\n\nWhat’s good about it: Leg extensions get a bad reputation, mostly because if done incorrectly they can be dangerous, but if used correctly, they’re a great way to tax your leg muscles safely and stimulate growth, particularly in the quadriceps. Keep the weights low, control your tempo, and don’t fully lock out your legs at the conclusion of each rep. Do that and you’ll see tear-drop-shaped quads in no time.\nWhat muscles it works: Quadriceps\nTechnique tips: This exercise requires a machine. You’ll be seated, with your legs beneath a padded lever that you can only move by contracting your quadriceps until your legs are straight. One important point: don’t fully lock out your legs at the extension point. You’ll save your knees a lot of stress and keep stress where you want it, on your quads.\n\nPower Clean\n\nWhat’s good about it: If the benefits of an exercise were the only consideration, power cleans would be up there with squats and deadlifts: they’re that beneficial. We’re talking increased strength and increased explosive power, all of which directly translate into better athletic performance.\nWhat muscles it works: Quads, hamstrings, glutes, core, traps\nTechnique tips: Here’s an immediate caveat: the power clean is an Olympic lift, and like all Olympic lifts, it’s extremely technical. That means you almost certainly need a coach or veteran Olympic lifter to observe and critique your form, because as a beginner, you will make mistakes, and if you make mistakes while attempting a heavy or even moderately heavy lift, you can do real damage to your back. So what follows are instructions, but consider purchasing some in-person coaching before you attempt this lift with anything heavier than a broomstick.\nThe power clean begins like a deadlift, with the bar on the floor and your stance and address identical to the deadlift. The initial “pull” is identical to the deadlift as well, but because the weight is lighter and because you’re training explosiveness, you’ll be able to “get under” the bar once it reaches its apex, at which point you “catch it” as if you’re doing a front squat.\n\nCalf Raise\n\nWhat’s good about it: Calves are a common weak point (see early Arnold Schwarzenegger), requiring high volume and high frequency to grow. Calf raises isolate your calves, making them a great finishing move at the conclusion of a leg routine. They’re also easy to perform with bodyweight, even outside of a gym, so feel free to crank a few sets out at the office or in your home.\nWhat muscles it works: Calves\nTechnique tips: Standing tall, simply shift your weight to the front of your toes, until you’re up on your tippy-toes, then descend to flat feet again. One time up and down is a single repetition. You can increase the degree of difficulty by holding on to a weight or by increasing the range of motion by standing on a plate.\n\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tHow to Weight Train at Home\n\tThe Dumbbell Death March for Leg Growth\n\tThe Best Shoulder Workouts", "keywords": "Best, Leg, Exercises", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-leg-exercises/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1766149699.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-leg-exercises.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-19 10:36:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "130066", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Wants Marriage But I Don’t Want Anything Serious With Him Because I Don’t Love Him", "title_slug": "he-wants-marriage-but-i-dont-want-anything-serious-with-him-because-i-dont-love-him", "title_hash": "80280f201ad147e6124c8a323ce79ba0", "summary": "It all started last December when I met Yaw and he proposed to me. The proposal didn’t come alone. It came with a lot of goodies; talk about money, gifts, …", "content": "

It all started last December when I met Yaw and he proposed to me. The proposal didn’t come alone. It came with a lot of goodies; talk about money, gifts, groceries, constant support. As a fresh graduate still living with my mother, it was hard not to notice the security he represented. I didn’t feel anything for him—not love, not excitement, nothing close to desire. Still, I said yes to his proposal. I thought the relationship would be temporary. I was only going to chop his money and go.

From the beginning, he made his intentions clear. He wanted marriage, not games. I was equally clear that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. He was worried, but it didn’t stop him from spending on me. He spent on me like a man determined to prove something. If you saw a grown man carrying groceries on his head through the neighborhood, just know it was coming to my house.

Two months into the relationship, I told him the truth. I told him plainly that I did not love him. “I’m trying everything possible to develop feelings for you, but the more I try, the more it feels impossible,” I said. He responded, “It’s not a woman’s place to love. Your role is to submit.”

But how do you submit to someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally? How do you submit when your spirit is rejecting the situation? When it comes to argument, he’s the woman in the relationship and I’m the man. You’ll see him all over the floor apologizing for what he hasn’t even done. Everything about me screams that I don’t love this man, yet he refuses to hear it.

What scares me most is this: I know men like him don’t come easily. A man who spends, who shows up, who is ready for marriage is not sold at the shop. In just six months, both families are already aware and are involved in our relationship. The last serious conversation we had, we were talking about the knocking rite. Marriage plans are forming around me, but my heart is far away. No one is willing to listen to my fears and understand me. My mother tells me to endure. She tells me, “As far as a man is ready to take care of you and call you his own, there’s nothing more to fear.”

I feel like I’m signing a death contract with a smile. When it comes to intimacy between us, I don’t want to go there. It feels like I’m doing it under captivity, something I endure instead of enjoy. I’m pretending everything is fine just so he won’t break, just so my family won’t accuse me of foolishness.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So now, I’m asking with all honesty, is there hope that feelings can grow from nothing? That one day I will wake up to find myself in love with him? Or I’m only deceiving him and destroying myself in the process? Right now, I feel like the villain in everyone’s eyes, while slowly becoming the victim of my own silence.

—Bridget

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*****

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The most painful part is that it was done by someone within my own family.

Someone who was supposed to protect me.

My parents saw it. They knew. But because the abuser was also their child, they felt powerless. And so I grew up carrying wounds no child should ever have to bear. Wounds that were never treated, never understood, never given space to heal. They followed me into my teenage years, into adulthood, into my relationships, and into my own body.

That pain shaped me in ways I am still trying to understand.

It shaped how I see men.

How I trtrust. How I love. How I respond to touch.

Whenever a man tries to come close, my entire body reacts. I don’t just get scared, I get severe body cramps that tighten every part of me. The pain comes in waves and only fades after a while. It’s as though my body remembers everything my mind is trying so hard to forget. My trauma lives in my muscles, my nerves, my silence, and my fears.

When I got to campus, I met someone, Felix.

At first, I never imagined myself falling for him. I don’t even know what drew me in, maybe his hairline, maybe something deeper. But over time, I began to care for him in a way I didn’t expect. And loving someone when you carry trauma is not easy.

The first time he tried to be intimate with me, my body shut down. The memories returned, fresh and overwhelming. Fear took over. The cramps came. I couldn’t allow him close. And because of that, he ghosted me.

Later, after some time had passed, we talked and tried to fix things. We decided to take it slowly.

But the cycle didn’t end.

Again, If I didn’t allow intimacy. He would get angry. Then he’d vanish into thin air.

Whenever we disagree, he doesn’t give me space to express myself. He dominates the conversation, insists that only his side is right, and then blocks me everywhere, leaving no room for understanding or explanation. He pushes his needs to the front while ignoring mine. He never pauses to ask why I react the way I do, or why my body shuts down. To him, it looks like rejection. To me, it is survival.

The truth is that even though I love him, my trauma creates boundaries I cannot ignore. My reactions are not about a lack of love or care, they are about protecting myself while I heal. I want him to understand that my struggle with closeness is real, and that my love exists alongside the work I still need to do on myself.

But his behaviour hurts me. His silence. His blocking. His refusal to listen. His need to dominate.

All of it breaks me in ways he doesn’t see. It makes me feel invisible, unheard, unimportant. It takes me back to the same helplessness I felt as a child. And I find myself torn, between wanting to heal for my own sake, and wanting to keep him close, because despite everything, I still hope he cares enough to try to understand.

I was not violated as a child only once.

It didn’t end there.

It continues to affect my life, my relationships, my trust, my emotions, my body, my ability to feel safe. Sometimes I ask myself if I will ever fully heal. If I will ever stop flinching at touch. If I will ever feel whole again.

I want healing so badly.

I want freedom from the shadows of my past.

I want to reclaim my body.

I want peace.

I am sharing this because I am tired of carrying the weight alone. I am tired of suffering in silence. I am seeking help, guidance, and understanding. Will I ever heal? Can someone like me truly recover? Is there help for people whose trauma lives inside their bodies?

I hope someone hears me, and shows me the way to healing.

And finally, I hope he reads this.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I hope he sees the depth of my pain and the truth behind my reactions.

I hope he understands that my love for him was real, even when my trauma stood in the way.

I hope he knows that all I ever wanted was patience, understanding, and a chance to feel safe with him.

My heart wanted him.

My trauma is still learning how to let love in.

—Sarah

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#SB<>

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I’m dating one of our lecturers, and I’m doing it to pass his course. He’s very strict with marks and teaches one of the subjects I find very difficult, so I got close to him to make him a friend. But along the line, he proposed. I know the stories of this kind: lecturers and students. So when he proposed, I took it as one of those stories—a lecturer dates a student and, in exchange, helps her pass with flying colors. I said yes to him, thinking it’s one of those stories.

The truth is, I don’t like him. He’s not the kind of man I would look at twice on a normal day. If he didn’t have what I needed, I wouldn’t be here. But he had power over my grades, my progress, my future, so I agreed and convinced myself it was a calculated move.

Just two months into our relationship, and he’s talking about marriage. He wants to meet my parents. He wants me to call them so he could talk to them and introduce himself. “Right after school, I want us to get married, so it’s better I prepare the grounds,” he told me.

Prepare what grounds? Doesn’t he know the script?

I’ve been giving him excuses, but these days he’s becoming insistent. Persistent. Intentional. I don’t want to drop him now because he has a huge influence in our department. He can hurt my grades even from afar, so I’m being careful, keeping the excuses fresh and potent. But it looks like I can’t go on with the lies for too long. He might see through the excuses and decide I’m taking him for a ride, and that would be dangerous. So I’m asking, what should I do to fix this problem I find myself in? I’m not proud of it, but something has to be done. Please help.

—Beauty

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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My friend’s marriage is in trouble. This is their story.

My friend and her husband dated for four years before getting married. According to her, their sex life was anything but boring. It was massive. They both enjoyed each other to the fullest.

When they got married, it was the best. She got pregnant when their marriage was two years old. Even during the pregnancy, their intimacy was good. The husband liked it more, and she also liked it more.

Everything changed when she gave birth. She no longer feels any desire for intimacy with her husband.

She said that having her baby was difficult for her. They had to wait four months before they were together in bed, but she feels nothing. Like zero. Nothing is there. She says it has been more than a year, and still she does not feel anything. When her husband is busy going up and down, doing all he can to please her, she feels nothing. But she pretends to moan. She pretends to praise him, you know, just to boost his ego.

She does this because she sees the mood her husband is in. He knows what she is capable of, and she does not want him to have doubts or feel sad.

It is not that they do not romance. They do everything they have been doing since they started dating, but still she feels nothing at all. She has tried different kinds of medicines and herbal remedies, but nothing works.

Now she wants to tell her husband that she has been pretending to enjoy the act. Faking the sounds, the words, and the moans, ever since she gave birth. I think this will shatter her husband as a man. To know that all his effort is fruitless. But she also says she has tried different things. She has sacrificed her happiness for her husband for more than a year. So she thinks it is time for her husband to know so they can both find solutions to help her rise on her feet.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

We want to know. Will it help if she tells her husband? Or should she still find solutions by herself? Anyone with a similar story, please help by sharing what happened. And what helped that person?

_ Joyce
\n
\nThis story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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I grew up knowing very early that my father was not the kind of man people prayed to marry their daughters to. As a child, I did not have the language for neglect or emotional abuse, but I felt it in my bones. I watched my mother shrink year after year while my father grew louder, prouder, and more entitled. He never paid our school fees. He never brought food home. He would leave the house and disappear for days without a word, leaving my mother to invent explanations for neighbors and relatives. When we needed money for shoes or clothes, he would look us straight in the eye and say, “When I was your age, I walked barefoot. What do you need shoes for?” Meanwhile, he bought new clothes for himself almost every week. Shiny shoes. Well-ironed shirts. A man who looked like a king in public and behaved like a stranger at home. The only time he truly acted like our father was when he beat us. That was his love language.

As if that was not enough, my father cheated openly and proudly. He fathered two children outside his marriage and brought them into our lives without shame, without apology, and without discussion. We were forced to accept them as our siblings while our own needs were ignored. I remember the anger boiling inside me as a child, the helplessness, the confusion. I went to my mother to complain, to cry, to beg her to fight back. She never did. She would touch my head and say, “Pray you don’t meet his kind, but leave him to me.”

My mother always looked tired. Her clothes were old and faded. Her shoes were worn out. Her face carried a sadness she could not wash away. Meanwhile, my father dressed sharply, smelled good, and moved around town like a free man with no responsibilities. He did not care how we fed or how we survived school. When I was in class six, my school organized an excursion to the airport. It was not a luxury trip. It was educational. I came home excited and told my parents. Around the same time, my elder brother’s BECE registration fees were due. We approached our father with hope, the kind of hope children still have before life beats it out of them. He said he had no money. He said my brother could stop school for all he cared.

That was the day something in my childhood got seared. My mother did not argue with him. She did not shout. She simply held my hand and told me we were going out. I did not understand where we were going or why she brought me along. Maybe she wanted me as cover. Maybe she did not want my father to suspect anything. We went to a man’s house. I still remember the room, the television, the way my mother asked me to sit and watch TV while she went into the next room with that tall and dark-looking man. They were gone for only a few minutes. When she came back, her face was calm but her eyes were distant. The following Monday, my excursion fee was paid. My brother’s exam registration was paid. My father looked at her and said, “So you have money to do all this but expect me to be the one to pay.”

I have replayed that memory more times than I can count. I was a child. Looking back, I know what likely happened in that room. I know what my mother probably had to trade to give us a future. The thought of it still makes my heart boil with rage and grief. How much was that excursion to the airport that my father could not pay? How much was BECE registration? Knowing what my mother may have had to do because of his irresponsibility traumatized me in ways I am still unpacking. That moment planted a hatred for my father that has only grown with time.

Today, my mother lives with me. She is older and tired now. At sixty-two, my father is still out there cheating with women my age. The most painful part is not even his behavior. It is my mother’s response to it. She still goes back to him. She still checks on him. She still sleeps in that house sometimes, only to return to mine in tears because she caught him with another woman young enough to be his daughter. I have begged her to leave him. I have shouted. I have cried, but she never listens. Instead, she looks at me with sad eyes and says, “I pray you don’t marry a man like him.”

Sometimes, I wish my father was dead. I know that sounds terrible, but it is my truth. I wish he would disappear from the face of the earth so my mother would finally be free. I pray he dies a shameful death, maybe die on top of one of the women he cheats with. I am not proud of these thoughts, but they come from years of watching my mother suffer quietly while he lived loudly. My brother has cut him off completely. They do not speak. My father says it is our mother who poisoned us against him. He takes responsibility for nothing. He believes he is the victim. My brother says he will not attend his funeral when he dies. I understand him because I feel the same.

To me, despite all of this, there is something powerful that came out of our story. I learned what I never want to become. I learned what love should not look like. I learned that authority without care is abuse, and that silence can sometimes be louder than shouting. I promised myself when I was young that I would do better in life so I could take good care of my mother. I promised myself that I would build a life where my mother would finally find rest in her final days. I promised myself that my children, if I ever have them, would never fear their father or wonder if school fees would be paid.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

My story is painful, but it is also a warning and a mirror to me. It is a reminder that children see everything, that the wounds parents inflict do not disappear with time. If there is any motivation in this, it is this: My father failed us, but he did not define us. And even in her suffering, my mother taught me resilience, sacrifice, and the quiet strength of a woman who endured more than she should have had to. This is why my brother and I want to do everything for her now.

—Bridget

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*****

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I call Alice a sister because when the world turned its back against me, she was the one who stood by my side and gave me a place to sleep. I lost my job. My rent was due. The man I was dating at that time promised he was going to help me settle the rent, but just when the landlord started pressing for the rent, my boyfriend used a year-old story that we had settled long ago to break up with me.

He screamed, “When it comes to money issues I’m the one you run to. Where’s Felix when you needed him the most? I can’t do the paying while he stays behind and enjoys you.”

Felix was just a friend. A year ago, it became a fight and he warned me to stay away from Felix or lose my relationship with him. Because I loved him to bits, I let Felix go so I could keep my relationship. When it got to the time to pay the rent, my boyfriend used this year-old story to break up with me.

Finally, I had to move my things and go live with Alice, who opened her door wide for me to enter. My job didn’t pay much, but from the very day Alice opened her doors for me, I decided to work my head off and get a new place for myself.

We shared everything as sisters would. There was no “My food” or “Her stew.” Whatever she had was mine and whatever I had was hers. Alice would listen to everything I said except when it came to her boyfriend, Kojo. That guy is the most narcissistic person I’ve ever known.

Right from the start, I saw how he disrespected Alice, but I didn’t want to interfere. Alice would prepare three meals and carry them to his house, and this guy would not even say thank you. Alice would complain to me, but when I told her to talk to him about it, she never did. She told me, “I don’t want him to feel that I’m nagging.” I responded, “What’s wrong if you’re nagging? If he doesn’t want you to nag, then he should change his ways.”

She would listen to me and yet would not do what I asked her to do. It was fine. To me, love sometimes brings out the foolishness in us. It doesn’t happen to one person. It happens to the best of us.

Kojo was also abusing her physically and emotionally. Alice would never tell me when Kojo laid hands on her, but I could see it. I could see the fight and the marks on her face, but she would tell me a story different from what actually happened.

One day, the cut on her lip went deeper than normal. She tried covering it with lipstick, but it didn’t work. I asked her, “What happened to your lip?” She said, “Oh nothing. I bit it by mistake.” I retorted, “You bit your lip by mistake and it affected your mood this way? It’s Kojo, right?” She didn’t answer. “What happened? What did you do this time that he couldn’t be a man who is emotionally measured?”

She opened up like a floodgate, crying and narrating everything that happened to the point where Kojo head-butted her lip. I told her, “You don’t have to hide the wounds. Look at it in the mirror and allow it to teach you a lesson. Why are you with him? Do you want him to kill you before your corpse runs from him to the grave?”

That day, Alice told me she was walking away from the relationship. I knew it was a lie, but I still urged her on and told her to do everything within her power and leave. “Look at it this way. What has he done for you lately that you have to risk your life to be with him? You give him money. You cook for him. You clean after him. You do all that, and all you receive in return are wounds?”

After that long sermon, she told me days later they were back together again because he had promised not to hurt her again. I was there when Kojo came in. I was in the bedroom when I heard them laughing and playing. I cursed my stars and told myself, “Never will I give a word of wisdom to a fool in love.”

For so many months, I stayed away from their issues. I saw swollen eyes, but I never asked what happened. I saw her moody more often than she was happy, but I never asked why. She didn’t eat for days, but I happily ate everything without asking why she didn’t eat. Even when she opened up willingly to tell me what happened, all I did was nod and listen without uttering a word. It annoyed her, but I was teaching her a lesson.

I was at work one Monday morning when she called my phone. She didn’t sleep in the house the previous night and had just returned to the house. When I picked up the phone, I heard her sobbing. She screamed, “I’ve been a fool for so long, but this time, it’s over! Kojo is a monster. I don’t know why I still go back to him after everything.”

I was so happy to hear those words from her mouth that I didn’t even ask what happened. I said, “I’m very happy for you for seeing the light. That monster does not deserve you. Look at a beautiful woman like you—is Kojo the kind of man you should date? I swear, if you go back to him again, I will be the one to lash you.”

When I was going home that day, I bought champagne and we both celebrated the death of her relationship.

Less than a week later, she was back in love with Kojo. One morning, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and it was Kojo. I thought he was looking for Alice, so I told him she wasn’t around. He shouted, “Are you the one to tell me Alice is not around? Are you the one who called me a monster? A caricature of a woman like you called me a monster?”

Before I could say a word to defend myself, he grabbed the collar of my dress and said, “What happens between me and Alice is our business. Stay out, or else the next one will be bloody.”

I was shaking. I told him I hadn’t called him a monster. I even swore that word had never escaped from my mouth. He took out his phone and played the recording where I was proudly and loudly insulting him and calling him a monster. He asked, “Whose voice is that? Your mother’s?”

I started begging him to forgive me. I peed in my pants, but he didn’t see it. When he left me, I cried like a baby. Why would Alice record our conversation and give it to her boyfriend because things are good between them now? When she came, I told her what happened, how her boyfriend nearly broke my neck because of her. She was shocked. She swore she didn’t record anything.

When we went through her phone settings, unknown to her, Kojo had put the phone on automatic recorder so her phone records every conversation she has with people. She said slowly, “This guy is dangerous.” I said nothing. I was still healing from the horror I’d experienced.

I looked for a new place without telling her. When everything was ready, I told her I was leaving. She said no. She called it a betrayal. I called it safety. “Why are you leaving me when I need you the most?”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

She followed me to my place and she has never left. She’s staying with me now, but every day, I wake up scared. What if Kojo finds us and blames me for running away with the love of his life? Yet I can’t ask her to leave, because when I had nothing and had no pillow, she was the one who gave me a home.

How do I deal with a problem like that? I don’t feel safe. I wake up scared. I walk around while looking over my shoulder. She says she’s using my place to run from him, but I doubt it. From what I’ve witnessed, it wouldn’t be long before she brings him into my room. Hmmmm…

—Hannah

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*****

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All jokes aside, it is about time we told men to get serious. This thing is no longer funny. If laws have to be made, let them be made. If prayers have to be said, let them be said. If libation has to be poured at crossroads, pour it. Whatever it takes, something must be done. Because what some men are doing to women’s emotions is reckless, careless, and deeply unfair.

I had been talking to this man for a while. Not talking-talking, not that intense daily phone call kind of thing. We were friends. The kind who checked in once in a while, replied to status updates, and laughed in comment sections. There was no rush, no pressure, and no drama. Just two adults coexisting in each other’s digital space.

One day, I posted a picture on my WhatsApp status. It was a simple picture, nothing dramatic. A few minutes later, he replied, “What will a man like me do to win a woman like you?”

I laughed when I read it. It sounded like one of those lines men use when they want to sound humble and deep at the same time. I asked him, “A man like you? What is wrong with you that you cannot win a woman like me?” He responded almost immediately. “You know women these days want a man with mansions, cars, and fat pockets. As you see me, I do not have all that, but my heart is pure.”

I did not fall for the line. I am not new to this world. I have heard the “pure heart” speech enough times to know it does not automatically translate to honesty or responsibility. But I found the approach interesting. It was different from the usual aggressive advances. So I decided to give him a chance to talk. Just to see where his mind was.

We started talking more. Conversations became longer. We laughed. We shared stories. Eventually, he asked me out on a date, and I agreed.

He came to my house often. At some point, there was a funeral in his village, and he asked me to go with him so he could introduce me to his family. I was actually willing to go. That alone made me feel like maybe he was serious. Unfortunately, something urgent came up, and I could not make the trip.

On his friend’s birthday, he invited me. That night, we ended up at his place. When it got late, he asked me to spend the night. I told him clearly that it would not be proper since I had not accepted his proposal. He requested a Bolt ride for me and ensured I got home safely. That was the moment I fell for him.

Not because of money or sweet words, but because he respected my boundary. In a world where many men think persistence means forcing themselves on you, he did not. That single act made me feel safe with him. When he officially proposed, I said yes. But I also told him we should take things slowly. He agreed. We went on several dates after that. Sometimes he paid, sometimes I did. It felt balanced and adult. There was no sense of burden or competition.

A week before his birthday, he suggested we go on a trip together. I was excited. I chose the place, and he gave me money to make the booking. I planned everything carefully. I imagined quiet conversations, laughter, and time to bond properly. Everything was set until the day he showed up. He arrived with four children. Four.

They were lined up from the tallest to the shortest, standing there like a full choir rehearsal. For a moment, I honestly thought I was dreaming. I looked at him, then at them, then back at him again. “Where are these children coming from?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. He smiled awkwardly and said, “Oh, it is a long story. Let’s go. I will explain on the way.”

The oldest child was staring at me in a way that made my spirit uneasy. I do not know how else to explain it. So I held my boyfriend’s hand and pulled him aside. “Please explain,” I said firmly. “Who are they? Where are they going to sleep? I thought this was a trip for the two of us.” He said, “I will get them a room. I promise they will not interfere. They are well-behaved children.”

I told him clearly that I was not moving an inch until he explained what was going on. That was when the truth started coming out, piece by piece. He said their mother had an emergency the night before and had to travel. So she brought the children to him to keep until she returned.

“Their mother?” I asked. “Who are they to you? Why would their mother bring them to you?”

He looked down and finally said, “They are my children.”

Four children. With a woman he claimed he could not marry because of family issues. He said he had always been involved in their lives, which was why their mother felt comfortable leaving them with him. I felt like the ground had shifted under my feet. I thanked him for being a responsible father. I even encouraged him to continue being present in his children’s lives. That part was not the problem. The problem was the deception.

“You have four children and you never told me?” I asked. There was nothing else to discuss. I cancelled the trip immediately. He went home with his children, and I went back to my house. That was the end of our relationship.

Later, I found out that he had actually married the woman traditionally, but it was a long-distance marriage. When I confronted him, he denied it. At that point, I did not even have the energy to chase the truth. I had already walked away. What hurt the most was not that he had children. It was that he had built a relationship on half-truths and silence. He had watched me plan a future in my head while knowing very well that he had a whole family he had not disclosed.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

So yes, men need to be serious. Do you people think heartbreak heals overnight? Do you think mental health is a joke? Do you know how much emotional labour it takes to trust someone again after something like this? It is not funny anymore. Stop playing with people’s hearts. Stop presenting half of your life and hiding the rest. If you come with baggage, say it early so people can decide what they are willing to carry. Some of us are tired. And we deserve honesty.

—Abrefa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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Our marriage is still very young, yet problems found us almost immediately. From the very beginning, we fought. Not every day, but often enough. To me, it felt normal. I believed disagreements were part of marriage, part of learning each other. I never imagined they would become weapons.

Every time we had a misunderstanding, my wife would remove her wedding ring. At first, I thought it was childish. Later, it became painful. Each fight came with the same routine. She would take off the ring, stop talking to me, and sometimes refuse to cook or even acknowledge my presence. Days would pass. I would apologize, beg, explain, and try to resolve the issue, but nothing worked until she decided she was ready.

I kept telling her, “This shouldn’t make you remove your ring. What is wrong with you?” But my words meant nothing. No matter what I did, the ring always came off. Weeks ago, I noticed something strange. Things between us were calm. No fights. No tension. Yet she was still not wearing her ring. When I asked her about it, she casually said she didn’t know where it was. Later, the story changed. “It’s missing. I’ve searched everywhere but I can’t find it.”

That ring is not just jewelry to me. It represents commitment, pride, and the promise we made to each other. Seeing her without it feels like seeing my marriage stripped bare. I tried to talk about how it made me feel, but instead of understanding, it turned into another fight.

She snapped at me and said, “If you’re that worried about me not wearing a ring, then buy a new one for me. If not, keep quiet.”

That response scared me. It wasn’t just anger. It was indifference. It sounded like someone who no longer cared what the ring meant or what I felt. Since then, I have been asking myself hard questions. Is she already out of love and doesn’t know how to say it? Or does she simply not want to wear the ring so she can live freely without questions?

She is a nurse. She meets influential people every day because of where she works. I try not to let my thoughts run wild, but the silence, the missing ring, and her attitude give my fears room to grow.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I feel like I am the only one still holding this marriage with both hands. I feel like I am fighting for something she has already dropped. If marriage is a partnership, then why does it feel like I am alone in this?

Would I be wrong to walk away if she was the first to let go? Because to me, the moment that ring came off and stayed off, something sacred was already broken.

—Sammy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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A year after our marriage, my wife got pregnant. I remember that period vividly because it felt like the first real peace we had experienced since we said our vows. I was genuinely happy. I was over the moon. In my mind, this child was not just a baby. He was hope. He was the glue that would finally hold our shaky marriage together.

That night, I lay beside my wife and placed my head on her tummy, pretending I could hear the baby speak. I imagined him telling me he was happy to be coming into our home, happy to be ours. I smiled like a child myself. For the first time in a long while, I felt settled.

But the truth is, even before the pregnancy, our marriage had been struggling. Most of our problems came from expectations we had of each other. I was the one providing for the house. I paid the rent, covered the bills, handled groceries, emergencies, and anything that came up. I did it willingly. I never complained about money, and I never asked my wife to contribute financially. I believed that as a man, that was my responsibility.

However, my wife expected something else from me. She expected me to help with household chores. I did not have a problem helping. I made that clear. What I told her was simple. I could help when my hands were free or when I had time, but she should not expect me to do chores all the time. I felt that was fair. After all, I was carrying the financial burden of the home.

She did not see it that way. She would intentionally cook cassava and wait for me to come and pound the fufu. She would light fire in the coal pot and expect me to fan it while she cooked the banku. If I refused or delayed, it would turn into a fight. Sometimes, she would wash clothes and wait for me to fold them. If I did not, it became another argument.

There were times she went further. She would intentionally wear jeans and a belt to bed just to deny me intimacy because I did not help in the kitchen or because I did not fold laundry. That hurt me deeply. I felt punished in my own home.

I fought back with words too. I told her, “I put money on the table for everything in this house, and you still expect me to do chores?” She would reply angrily, “Do you think money on the table can get up and go to the market? Do you think money on the table can cook or clean this house?”

This became a permanent issue between us. No matter how long we talked about it, we never truly understood each other. We argued, cooled down, adjusted, and continued living somewhere in the middle. It was not peaceful, but it was manageable.

Then she got pregnant. In my mind, that pregnancy would calm everything down. I believed having a child would soften her heart and help her understand my sacrifices. I believed it would unite us.

Three months into the pregnancy, she complained of severe stomach pain early one morning. She went to the hospital and came back later that day with news that shattered me. She had miscarried. I was shocked. I was in pain. I felt empty. I asked questions like a confused man who had just lost something precious. “What did the doctor say? Would we be able to get pregnant again?”

She cried. Sometimes uncontrollably. She said the pain was unbearable and she could not understand why she should lose a baby. I mourned with her. I held her. I comforted her. I never once imagined that the story I was being told was incomplete.

God was kind to us. A little over a year later, she got pregnant again. This time, she carried the pregnancy to term. We now have a son who is one year old.

But even with a child in the house, the fighting did not stop. I honestly believe I tried my best. I helped with the baby. I washed clothes. I cleaned the house sometimes while she focused on the child. I did what I could without neglecting my responsibilities outside the home. One evening, I returned from a trip tired and exhausted. When I asked her where my food was, she expected me to come and help in the kitchen. I was tired. I said, “I am exhausted. Can you not do a simple thing without involving me?”

That sentence changed everything. She got angry, carried the baby inside, and refused to give me food. According to her, she was also tired because she had been carrying the baby all day. What made it more painful was that we had a lady who helped with the baby during the day. She was a distant relative of hers and left when we both returned from work. I thought the help was sufficient.

That night, we had a serious fight in the bedroom. I was frustrated and angry. I told her I was tired of what I saw as laziness. That was when she screamed at me, “Do you think carrying a baby for nine months is an easy job? Do you think feeding a baby throughout the night is a job for the faint hearted? If you’re not heartless, you would pity me.”

Of course I fought back and asked if she expected me to carry the baby for nine months and then she said, “I knew this would happen. I knew you would leave me to suffer the consequences of child birth alone that’s why I aborted the first one when I was not ready. I swear this will be our last if that’s how you’re going to behave.”

At first, I thought I misheard her. She repeated it. She said it clearly. She said she aborted our first child intentionally.

My head went blank. Her words echoed in my mind over and over. I asked her how she could do that and still cry with me. How she could pretend to mourn something she destroyed. She told me she knew the kind of husband and father I would be. She said what she was experiencing now was exactly what she feared, and she was done having children.

I reported the issue to her parents. I told my parents too. They said she was only angry and probably did not mean what she said. I knew she meant every word. When her parents came to address the issue, she told them she said it only to hurt me because my words were hurting her. She repeated the same thing to my parents. Everyone believed her.

They sat with her for hours advising her on the way forward. She apologized to my parents but not to me. According to my parents, the problem is resolved but when it comes to me and her, she makes me feel what she said was the truth and she doesn’t regret it.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Now I am confused. I am tired. I am scared. I provide everything in this house and I am still expected to do chores as though my effort means nothing. On top of that, I am living with the belief that my wife intentionally killed our first child. My mind cannot rest.

Are my fears valid? Or am I overthinking? Sometimes, I lie awake at night and ask myself if this woman was sent into my life to destroy my happiness. And for the first time since I got married, I am seriously questioning whether this marriage is worth holding onto.

—Sammy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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My mother was fifteen years old when she was raped. A few months before her sixteenth birthday, she said it was by a friend at the time. She said it happened again, within the space of a week, by my father. She said he was in his mid-thirties.

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She became pregnant and informed my father about it. She asked to end the pregnancy, but he refused. He said he wanted to marry her and start a family. That was the circumstance under which my mother and father married. There was no love story you would hope for. So, my mother married him at age fifteen.

She continued to have six children for him. At first, this story was not known to us. We were living as a happy family. We had our bitter-sweet moments, but that is family. It stayed like that for a while, until our step-siblings—my father’s other children—started spreading rumours that my eldest sister did not belong to our dad. That she was a bastard. During that time, the rumour was spreading, my father was almost dying. I did not worry about it. I thought it was one of those sibling quarrels, you know how we used to mock our siblings that they are not our parents? Yes, I thought it was one of those fights.

I can’t really remember, but it was during or after our dad’s burial that the same issue came up again. That was when I began searching for an answer. I suggested a DNA test be conducted among us. My sister refused, saying there was no need for it now that our dad was gone. More so, she said our dad had explicitly told her she was not his daughter.

Years later, everyone was moving on with life. But I noticed a particular behaviour in my sister. Any chance, any misunderstanding she had with our mother, she would tell us and tell people around our family history. She would tell people how she doesn’t know her father and that our mum should first show her her own father before advising her or her children. The whole thing was becoming so embarrassing, to the point that we had to call our mum and ask her to tell us what exactly happened over forty years ago.

That was when she opened up to us about the story. But she insisted that our dad is the father of our sister. She was certain it had to be my father. So we sat down and explained things to her. We educated her, letting her know it is highly possible it could be the other guy.

We explained to our mum that since the two incidents happened within the space of one week, it is highly possible that the other man could be the father of our sister.

We found him after some days of our search. When she finally told him why she had called and the need to conduct a DNA test, that her children wanted a test to be conducted between him and our sister. According to him, he said he remembered. He said our mum had to stress him and struggle with him before he was able to have his way. And that he did not really do the thing as he desired, so he can never be the father of our sister.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

My mum called me on the phone to talk to him. After talking to him, he still insisted he is not and can never be, and that his God will not disgrace him. Mind you, he is now a pastor. He also said only women know the true father of their children. I let him know our mum was not a woman then; she was just a girl. I told him I would foot the bill for the DNA test, and more so, my sister doesn’t need anything from him. We just want to know the truth, to give us the upper hand to face our step-siblings.

This man said he would think about it, and that if our sister happened not to be his daughter, he would milk us—take huge money from us. I did not want to drag him, to let him know that what he did years ago, which was confirmed by himself, was called rape. We are patiently waiting for him to get back to us for the test.

My question now is, should he finally refuse, what should we do? Since they were both minors. Do we have a case?

—Loretta

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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Learn how to maintain connection and intimacy even when you and your partner have different sex drives.

The post The Perpetual Problem of Mismatched Sex Drives appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Perpetual, Problem, Mismatched, Sex, Drives", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-157606595.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-perpetual-problem-of-mismatched-sex-drives/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 04:07:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128945", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Can a Relationship Survive an Affair?", "title_slug": "can-a-relationship-survive-an-affair", "title_hash": "0d43e9cc9d643ffe59c287c58d90f98c", "summary": "When your partner has an affair, it can feel like the end of the world. Is it possible to heal from the trauma of infidelity?\nThe post Can a Relationship Survive an Affair? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

When your partner has an affair, it can feel like the end of the world. Is it possible to heal from the trauma of infidelity?

The post Can a Relationship Survive an Affair? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Can, Relationship, Survive, Affair", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-180821659.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/can-a-relationship-survive-an-affair/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 04:06:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128793", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Find the Most Interesting Woman", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-find-the-most-interesting-woman", "title_hash": "d92b6a494adebb3b8fc110cd38302e61", "summary": "If you ever drool over hot girls (then fail to land them), here’s the reframe: rather than go out to meet hot girls, go out to meet INTERESTING ones.\nThis is a tactic I quite like from the old school seducer Lifeguard, which I recently came across in the archives.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"is$ If you ever drool over hot girls (then fail to land them), here’s the reframe: rather than go out to meet hot girls, go out to meet INTERESTING ones.

This is a tactic I quite like from the old school seducer Lifeguard, which I recently came across in the archives.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Find, the, Most, Interesting, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/most-interesting-woman-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-find-most-interesting-woman", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128794", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Forget Pickup Lines: How to Approach a Girl with Confidence", "title_slug": "forget-pickup-lines-how-to-approach-a-girl-with-confidence", "title_hash": "77311698595c6dcc8cd7b42d34da3b33", "summary": "Curate the unspoken skill of a confident approach: this guide reveals why your delivery, NOT your opener, is the key to approaching a girl successfully.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"making$ Curate the unspoken skill of a confident approach: this guide reveals why your delivery, NOT your opener, is the key to approaching a girl successfully.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Forget, Pickup, Lines:, How, Approach, Girl, with, Confidence", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/approach-girl-with-confidence-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/forget-pickup-lines-how-approach-girl-confidence", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128791", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Picking Up Girls as You Get Older: It's More Attractive to Act Your Age!", "title_slug": "picking-up-girls-as-you-get-older-its-more-attractive-to-act-your-age", "title_hash": "e9f4fcde7e1c41a2e8280eefd1797732", "summary": "Men going out to pick up as they age often try acting hipper & younger. But this is not as attractive to women as a confident man who acts his own age.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"acting$ Men going out to pick up as they age often try acting hipper & younger. But this is not as attractive to women as a confident man who acts his own age.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Picking, Girls, You, Get, Older:, Its, More, Attractive, Act, Your, Age", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/picking-up-girls-as-you-get-older-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/picking-girls-you-get-older-its-more-attractive-act-your-age", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128792", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Is Women's Advice for Men SO Bad?", "title_slug": "why-is-womens-advice-for-men-so-bad", "title_hash": "c3acd663bdd57048701e50fbed175e7a", "summary": "Women give men the worst dating advice. Why so? It’s due (in part) to one major flaw: women aren’t able to grasp that men can improve their mate value.\nWomen consistently offer men the most terrible dating advice they can manage.\nWomen’s advice for men includes horrifying tidbits like:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"why's$ Women give men the worst dating advice. Why so? It’s due (in part) to one major flaw: women aren’t able to grasp that men can improve their mate value.

Women consistently offer men the most terrible dating advice they can manage.

Women’s advice for men includes horrifying tidbits like:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Womens, Advice, for, Men, Bad", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/women-advice-bad-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-womens-advice-men-so-bad", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128790", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Unique Date Ideas", "title_slug": "unique-date-ideas", "title_hash": "0942843663f349f264d8ad9a0c4b7242", "summary": "Forget Dinner and a Movie. These Are 8 Unique Date Ideas Your Crush Will Love", "content": "Forget Dinner and a Movie. These Are 8 Unique Date Ideas Your Crush Will Love", "keywords": "Unique, Date, Ideas", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/unique-date-ideas/askmen-lead-image-2x1-70-1765612891.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/unique-date-ideas/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128788", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: I Had an Anal 'Accident' and I'm Mortified. What Do I Do?", "title_slug": "str8curious-i-had-an-anal-accident-and-im-mortified-what-do-i-do", "title_hash": "e715fcc9085b90a51c76dac7b6917d7e", "summary": "I Had an Accident the Second Time I Bottomed. How Do I Stop Feeling So Ashamed?", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\nThe Question\n“I bottomed for the second time in my life and had an accident. My sexual partner was really chill about it but I can’t stop feeling embarrassed. How do I get over this shame so that I can build up the courage to try again?” - Darren, Akron, OH\nThe Answer\nShit happens. Plain and simple. The expectation that anal sex will always go off without a hitch is unrealistic. You can’t assume things won’t come out of an area where things usually… come out. This is so common there’s even a slang term for it — “paint.”\nThat said, there are certainly steps you can take to lower the odds of this happening and turn that Hershey Highway into a greased and squeaky-clean bowling lane. \nOur complete guide to bottoming is chock-full of helpful advice on how to mentally and physically prepare for anal sex, though there are three top—err—bottom tips that our experts put forth for a potentially (again, nothing is a guarantee) feces-free experience: \n1. Avoid Eating Within 1-2 Hours of Play\nEating stimulates your body’s astrocolic reflex, which gets rid of waste. Save the romantic dinner for after sex. \n2. Use Only Lukewarm Water in an Enema Bottle\nNow, for some douching — to clear and clean out anything lingering in your sphincter. The process is to insert the tip in your butt and squeeze all the water in. Let it sit for 15 seconds, release, and repeat until all of the water is clear. \nDon’t overdo it, though. Jonathan Baker, PA-C, otherwise known as Rectal Rockstar on social media, often warns against overdouching, as it can irritate and/or eliminate the natural lining of your anus and rectum that are necessary for normal bowel movements \n3. Test With a (Well-Lubricated) Dildo\nIt’s A-OK to stick something up your ass before a partner’s penis, to test whether or not it comes out clean. Foreplay with toys can be just as fun, after all. \nAlso, while you can partake in safer sex practices using PrEP, a condom will always create a barrier between flesh. A dirty rubber can easily snap off and be disposed of with no showering required. \nLet’s also eliminate the stigma that humans don’t poop. Not every sexual experience is meant to model a studio porn film, which is unrealistic and only showcases the hottest (and often unrealistic) parts of fornication. \nRELATED: Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing \n“In the likely case that there is a visualization or scent of feces during the experience, try to avoid stigmatizing it,” Baker suggested in the aforementioned guide. “You may choose to end the experience and that is OK.”\nThe fact that your partner has already brushed the incident off as normal shows that he is a keeper, at least from a sexual compatibility standpoint. Be grateful that it was met without judgment. No harm, no foul! \nThat being said, should you find intrusive thoughts debilitating enough to prevent you from becoming intimate again, you may want to consider the advice of a gay or gay-friendly sex therapist, who could help you process these thoughts and make your way to a more comfortable approach to bottoming. \nIt’s also OK to take a breather from bottoming altogether. As a self-proclaimed side, I can assure you that there are plenty of other ways (and other orifices) to maximize pleasure and get you off…no ifs, ands, or butts. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nAnal Sex Dos & Don'ts Every Guy Should KnowButt Sex Pro Tips to Make You a Backdoor MasterThe Best Gay Sex Positions, Illustrated", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, Had, Anal, Accident, and, Im, Mortified., What, Do", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/str8curious-i-had-an-anal-accident-and-im-mortified-what-do-i-do/askmen-lead-image-2x1-68-1765570482.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/str8curious-i-had-an-anal-accident-and-im-mortified-what-do-i-do.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128789", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Long Should You Wait Before Asking for a Date on a Dating App?", "title_slug": "how-long-should-you-wait-before-asking-for-a-date-on-a-dating-app", "title_hash": "aab51fabdca1c9f215b6f8dde76897f3", "summary": "New Data Shows When Exactly You Should Ask Your Matches Out", "content": "The Story\nAre men and women operating on different clocks when it comes to first dates? \nThat’s a question that arises when you take a peek at a recent dating survey from Hily, a dating app that asked 1,600 Gen Z and millennial Americans about their preferences when it comes to how much conversation they want to have before a first date. \nRELATED: When Should I Ask For A Date Online? \nThe Snapshot\nThe study turned up a pretty interesting trend: It appears that men and women have distinctly different expectations of how long you should keep messaging a match before asking them out. \nRELATED: Golden Rules for Asking Women Out\nWhile guys were raring to go, women were definitely a bit more cautious. While just 8 percent of guys (about 1 in 12) would want to talk for over a week before asking for a date, 32 percent of women (about 1 in 3) felt that that was a sensible amount of time — meaning that response was 4 times as popular with women as with men. \n\n\nMeanwhile “I ask them out right after matching” also picked up 8 percent with the men, while for women it came in at only 1 percent of responses. The trend seemed to hold across the board — men preferred the three shorter options, and women the three longer ones. \nThe Lesson\nWhile guys often feel like they’re expected to move dating conversations forward towards an in-person meeting, that sense can sometimes translate into pushing for a date before any conversational chemistry has taken root. \nFor some women, that can feel like they’re being rushed and asked to pass judgment on something too hastily. Of course, that’s not the case for everyone, but those who prefer to meet sooner rather than later might express that in their profiles with a line in their bio or a prompt response. \nRELATED: Common Online Dating Mistakes \nOtherwise, this data suggests — and our anecdotal experiences back this up — chatting for a little bit longer and establishing a somewhat more solid textual connection could end up working out for you in the long run. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nHow to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)Why You Should Wait to Have SexHow Long Should You Wait Before Asking for a Second Date?", "keywords": "How, Long, Should, You, Wait, Before, Asking, for, Date, Dating, App", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/how-long-should-you-wait-before-asking-for-a-date-on-a-dating-app/askmen-lead-image-2x1-62-1764344942.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/how-long-should-you-wait-before-asking-for-a-date-on-a-dating-app.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128786", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Spice Up Your Sex Life", "title_slug": "how-to-spice-up-your-sex-life", "title_hash": "fc135516468b882914fac4d705e78fbf", "summary": "3 Helpful Tips to Spice Up a Struggling Sex Life", "content": "As time passes in a relationship, it’s normal for a couple’s sex life to become a little bit less exciting, or even go stale altogether.\nSlowly but surely, the heated passion of when you couldn’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off in the early stages of the relationship can find itself replaced by the desire to stay in and have little interaction other than some cuddling and a kiss goodnight once you’re a few years in. \nRELATED: What to Know About Long-Term Relationship Sex \nWhether that’s been your experience for some time now, you’ve recently found the sexual passion drying up in your relationship, or you’re worried that it someday might, you might be wondering what you can do about it. To bring that spark back to life, use these crucial tips for spicing up your sex life. \n\n\n1. Engage in Open and Honest Communication\n\nOne of the most important and fundamental ways to approach spicing up your sex life is by talking about it.\nOften, the real issue isn’t that you aren’t having sex — that’s just a symptom of some other issue in the relationship. Perhaps one (or both) of you are experiencing a lot of stress, or one of you is feeling less sexy than usual because of body image issues.\nRELATED: How to Talk About Your Unsatisfying Sex Life\nWhatever it is, you won’t be able to get at the root of it, or find a solution, until you have a serious conversation about your sex life .\nAccording to Laurel House, dating and relationship coach and host of the Man Whisperer podcast, that conversation should involve you talking about everything.\n“Your likes, dislikes, fantasies, what feels good, what you want them to do, what you are open to try, what you don’t like that much, your favorite position, where and how to move … talk about it!” says House. “I’m not saying to lecture or give a speech.” \nInstead, she says, “Have a fun back-and-forth conversation about sex. Don’t be insecure or nervous about it. If you’re old enough and mature enough to have sex, you should be old enough and mature enough to talk about sex too.”\nIf you’re not sure how and when to initiate that kind of conversation, that’s totally understandable. House suggests bringing up the sex talk when the two of you are in bed together, ideally cuddling, maybe after a sexual moment.\n“When you’re totally emotionally open and still in the sex mindset, go a little deeper,” she says. “This is when you talk about what you might like to try that’s different. If there’s something that you really like that [your partner] does, but you’d like it even more if [they] did it like this, or if you’ve always wanted to try [a specific thing],” she says now would be a good time to bring it up.\nThe setting means you’re probably both not far removed from thinking sexual thoughts, so there’s a natural segue.\nRELATED: Every Classic Way to Spice Sex Up, Ranked \n“This is also the time to ask them what they like, what they would like even more if you did something a little different/more/less, what they have always wanted to try,” adds House. “Be careful not to put them down or criticize.”\nShe also notes that “it’s best to not generalize. By asking focused questions and giving focused information, you will be able to make this conversation constructive and encouraging, even fun and exciting.”\n\n\n2. Try New Things\n\nHaving a good, healthy conversation about your sex life is just the first step to spicing things up. The meat of the action is almost always going to be changing what you do with each other.\nThat might mean approaching the old sex you’d been having with renewed vigor and passion, or it might mean changing things up entirely.\nRELATED: How a Yes/No/Maybe List Can Turn Your Sex Life Around\nIf you’re not sure where to go beyond just wanting to try something new, here are some suggestions. They won’t necessarily work for every couple — and if any (or all) of them seem like they’re not for you, that’s fine — but if even one of them piques your interest, well, try giving it a shot!\nTry Dirty Talk and Sexting\nIf you want to spice things up without spending money, step one, according to House, should be using your words in new ways by talking dirty to each other.\n“Dirty talk is the easiest way to immediately improve your sex life,” she says. “Yes, it can feel scary for people who aren’t used to doing it, but [it’s actually] easy! You don’t have to come up with anything clever to say. Simply say what you’re doing, what you’re feeling, what your partner is feeling, and more than that, what you want your partner to be feeling. It will instantly change your sex life.”\nRELATED: The Official AskMen Guide for Sexting Like a Champ\nSexting is basically just taking your dirty-talk dynamic and applying it to your digital interactions. However, if you’re not sure you’re up for all that typing, there are other options.\n“If you are using [some form of text] messaging as your form of cybersex, up your game by activating the audio element of your messages,” suggests House. “Even better than having your words transcribed, send actual audio messages, letting your partner hear your voice, so that they can feel your escalating excitement.”\nOne of the thrilling aspects of sexting is its portability, meaning you can get your sext on in all kinds of otherwise non-sexual situations.\n“Use text sex to create anticipation,” adds House. “Maybe you’re at a family gathering and sitting on opposite sides of the dinner table. A few sexts or DMs (as long as no one is looking over your shoulder) can make the otherwise boring event more exciting, and may even lead to you both slipping into the bathroom together for a quickie before dessert. You can even do it when you and your partner are in the same house, just in different rooms.”\nTry Watching Porn Together\nThis can be a tricky one, since often the guy in a heterosexual relationship will be the one who’s more comfortable with watching porn. However, if your partner is already a seasoned porn aficionado or simply curious and willing to explore it with you, it can be a great way to add some much-needed spice to the relationship.\nIf you are the more experienced porn watcher, however, you should hand the reins over to your less-experienced partner and let them decide what you watch or don’t watch so they don’t feel yanked out of their comfort zone too quickly. \nIn that scenario, it’s better to start slowly — maybe even with soft-corn porn, where there’s no penetration — and work your way up to more intense content.\nRELATED: How to Watch Porn Together, Explained\nRegardless, the focus should be on scenes, story lines, or pairings that turn you both on.\n“You aren't watching because you want to get turned on by someone hotter,” says House. “You’re watching it because it's hot to watch others get it on. When you see them licking, biting, teasing, sweating, talking dirty ... suddenly you'll feel turned on, too. (Plus, you might get some ideas as to new moves to try.)”\nIf actually watching porn together seems like a daunting proposition for either of you, you can also give this pro tip a go, notes House: Try listening to porn without actually watching it.\nIn addition to giving you the erotic thrill of hearing sex sounds (moans, gasps, and “Oh, God, yes!”) — without having to look at the porn stars themselves , it’s also a sneaky way to improve at dirty talking, according to House.\nRELATED: How Figuring Out Your 'Lust Language' Can Improve Your Sex Life \n“This is one of the best ways to learn how to dirty talk! Turn on a talk-heavy porn, and turn the TV or computer around. Then, turn off the lights.” she says.\n“Now you and your partner will just repeat after the [performers’] voices. This gives you permission to say dirty, nasty, limit-pushing things that you never had the courage or inclination to say before. But once you get those words in your ears and hear them come out of your mouth, you have broken that barrier, and you can now introduce them into your regular routine.”\nTry Sex Toys\nOn the other hand, sex toys are one area where men, despite all the stereotypes about their sex drives, lag far behind women. If you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom, expanding your sex toy repertoire could be in order.\n“Whatever your reason to spice up your sex life (and by the way, you really don’t need a ‘reason’ to get a sex toy), get one!” suggests House. “As a matter of fact,, get three: one that you know you will like, one that is highly rated but you don’t exactly know how it will work, and one that is dancing the line of intriguing/intimidating.”\nThat way, you’ll get to explore different options, and if one or two aren’t exactly your cup of tea, chances are the third one will be. Whereas if you buy a single one and come to regret it, it could be easy to write the whole concept of sex toys off in one go.\n“If you try one and it wasn’t right for you, you [never have to] try it again if you don’t want to,” notes House.\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Couples, Revealed\n“Even those experiences when you as a couple try something new and share an explorative experience together — even if it flops, it can bring you closer and make you feel more connected because shared new experiences are an essential ingredient to deepening and strengthening relationships — as long as you are both open to being open, vulnerable, and playful.”\n“Plus,” she adds, “you just might feel more aroused than you could have even imagined. [Sex toys] give you new opportunities to play, explore, and enjoy both yourself and your partner. They get you out of your normal routine and can transform your average pump and grind into a playground of fun.”\nTry New (and Exciting) Locations\nExhibitionism can be super hot. Whether you’re in a secluded area out in the wild, outdoors in your backyard after dark, or pressed up against a window in a hotel or office building, having sex outside of the traditional confines of the bedroom can be hugely exhilarating.\n“There's a naughty, dirty, exciting element to having sex in clear view of a stranger's eye,” says House. “But sometimes, the desire stops at being visually accessible, and not physically accessible.”\nIt’s one thing to know you might be seen during sex, but it’s another thing entirely if someone could actually walk in on you. Before you propose an erotic adventure, it’s a good idea to know what your partner’s comfort level is when it comes to this kind of thing.\nRELATED: How to Have Public Sex Without Getting Caught\n“Sex in public or semi-public spaces feels like role play. Literally, it feels like you are playing a role, which gives you permission to act and therefore feel like you are ‘someone else,’ when really what you are doing is exploring another secret side of yourself,” notes House.\n“It might feel like young love, remembering those high school or college makeout sessions in the back of the car or behind a bush in the park,” she says. Think of it like a form of sensual time-travel that could be just the thing to ignite a spark in your sex life.\n(That being said, you should familiarize yourself with any laws in place surrounding public nudity or indecency before getting it on outside or in public, as this can carry legal complications if you’re caught.)\n\n\n3. Consider Couples Therapy\n\nIf you’ve tried proposing a bunch of new things to fix your sex life but nothing much has come of it, it can be easy to feel discouraged. If you’re still committed to your partner and to the relationship, though, it might be worth seeing a couples therapist who focuses on sex therapy.\nIf you’re someone who doesn’t have any therapy experience, this could feel daunting, or like a sign that the relationship is a failure in some way. However, if you’re routinely feeling frustrated, hurt, or hopeless about your sex life, you need to recognize that you’re confronting a serious relationship issue, and only a serious approach will be able to resolve things.\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Sex Therapy\n“Sex therapy can be really helpful for couples because often there has been a moratorium on sex and no one feels comfortable bringing it up to talk about it, much less to do something about it,” says Dr. Paulette Sherman, a psychologist and author of the book Facebook Dating: From First Date to Soulmate.\n“So, a therapist can catalyze the conversation without judgment. They can explore ways to increase intimacy, frequency, types of sex, any sexual issues and their possible sources.”\nIt might take a bit of trying before you find the right person to help you both, but the right couples therapist will be someone who can talk to you and your partner about your sexual histories, your sexual dynamic together, what your sex life has been like so far, and where you’d like to take it. \nRELATED: Reasons She Stopped Having Sex \nThen, they should be able to suggest different ways to work together on building a sex life that you both find satisfying, erotic, and fresh without taking either of you out of your comfort zone.\nRealizing that you’re in a sex rut is a difficult moment, but whatever you do, don’t panic or pretend the problem isn’t there. If you’re willing to be open, honest, and proactive about the issue, with some hard work and the right approach, you and your partner can completely revolutionize your sex life.\n\nYou Might Also Dig: \n\n\tThe Best Sex Games to Play\n\tHow to Prepare to Have Anal Sex \n\tThe Best Sex Positions You’ll Ever Try", "keywords": "How, Spice, Your, Sex, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2019/02/12-014312-fun_ideas_to_spice_up_your_sex_life.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/fun-ideas-to-spice-up-your-sex-life.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128787", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Here’s What You Should Know About BDSM", "title_slug": "heres-what-you-should-know-about-bdsm", "title_hash": "8a549039f7698ebaa680f51b7df2b75c", "summary": "More or less everyone has different sexual fetishes and kinks that turn them on, and that’s OK.\nBut societally, people often agree that some are more common and deem these “normal” while others are seen as more risqué, strange or intense… even thought there’s nothing objectively bad about them. \nThat’s often the case with sex acts that fall under the banner of BDSM, an approach to sex that’s gotten more visible in the past few decades thanks in no small part to the success of the Fifty Shades of Grey books and movies.\nThese days, the idea that handcuffs, blindfolds and rope might be part of someone’s sex life isn’t as surprising as it might have been before. But BDSM is much more than just a list of products you can buy — and in fact, you don’t need any special toys or gadgets at all in order to participate in it.\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Bondage Sex\nSo what is BDSM really? In order to get to the truth of the matter, AskMen spoke with a number of sex experts. Here’s w", "content": "More or less everyone has different sexual fetishes and kinks that turn them on, and that’s OK.\nBut societally, people often agree that some are more common and deem these “normal” while others are seen as more risqué, strange or intense… even thought there’s nothing objectively bad about them. \nThat’s often the case with sex acts that fall under the banner of BDSM, an approach to sex that’s gotten more visible in the past few decades thanks in no small part to the success of the Fifty Shades of Grey books and movies.\nThese days, the idea that handcuffs, blindfolds and rope might be part of someone’s sex life isn’t as surprising as it might have been before. But BDSM is much more than just a list of products you can buy — and in fact, you don’t need any special toys or gadgets at all in order to participate in it.\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Bondage Sex\nSo what is BDSM really? In order to get to the truth of the matter, AskMen spoke with a number of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say:\n\nWhat Is BDSM?\n\n“BDSM is an umbrella turn for a variety of kinky activities and fetishes,” says Kayla Lords, co-host of the Loving BDSM podcast. “The letters stand for multiple things: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism.”\n“Within each of those are a variety of acts that exist on a spectrum from a little to a lot, from not very intense to extremely intense,” Lords adds. “In general, within all parts of BDSM, someone gives or provides the action, sensation, or moment while someone else receives. Depending on the type of role you take on, you may be known as a Top or Dominant or a bottom or submissive.”\nFrom this perspective, BDSM is “a type of sexual play that involves the use of power dynamics between two or more participants,” says Stephen Quaderer, creator of Headero, a sexuality and gender-inclusive connection app for people who love oral pleasure. \nHe says it can involve things like:\nphysical restraint,sensory deprivation,role-playing,and “other activities to create sensations of pain, pleasure, and control.”\n“BDSM has become increasingly prominent in recent years, as it is a way to explore and express our sexual selves in a consensual and safe manner,” Quaderer notes. “For those into these dynamics, BDSM can be a sexual wonderland — where all manner of sexual fantasies can be explored in a shame-free, safe, and consensual space (unless shame is your and your partners’ kink — then shame away!).”\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Sexual Shame \nWhile BDSM may have a reputation or perception as shocking, extreme or twisted, that’s not how it feels to participants, Quaderer says.\n“To many in the BDSM space, the core of BDSM is trust,” he explains. “It’s a dynamic where a person allows themselves to become vulnerable to their partner, with the trust that their partner will reciprocate with trust in turn. For BDSM participants, it is a genuinely affirming act of care and love. Mixed in with all manner of kink and sex. What’s not to like!?”\n\nThe History of BDSM\n\n“The history of the dynamics underpinning BDSM goes back a long way,” says Quaderer. “Using sex to toy with (and challenge!) societal conventions of power, humiliation, pain and pleasure has been recorded throughout history in many different societies and civilizations (everything from medieval manuscripts, to Grecian urns and the Kama Sutra).”\nRELATED: How People Jerked Off Before Internet Porn \n“However,” Quaderer notes, “the grouping of these related concepts under a single umbrella was popularized in the 1970s, as many people began to explore and experiment with different types of sexual activities, and forming communities and clubs around these ideas.”\n“The term BDSM itself was first recorded in 1991 (on, of course, the internet),” he adds. “Since then, the BDSM community has blossomed, both online and in-real life — allowing kinksters and those in the BDSM ‘lifestyle’ the ability to connect and support one another, and of course explore their sexual selves!”\nStill, despite progress in how it’s seen, BDSM hasn’t ever been mainstream — which sexologist Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, believes is a core part of how it’s developed.\n“Kinky sex and BDSM have been relegated to the margins,” she says. “BDSM has long been judged and even pathologized. Accordingly, folks who enjoy BDSM have come together to form a community of support (and friendship, pleasure, camaraderie, etc.). I think this has played a significant role in BDSM becoming a specific ‘thing.’”\n\nKnowing If You Might Be Into BDSM\n\nGiven the fact that it’s so often portrayed as outside the mainstream or not normal, getting into BDSM is often a process where you need to push through negative messages you’ve heard about BDSM first.\nRELATED: BDSM Toys You Should Check Out \nThis can mean that it takes some time to recognize that you are into BDSM after all. So if you’ve never explored it before, how can you know if BDSM is right for you?\n“BDSM spans a broad spectrum of desires, fantasies and activities,” says O’Reilly. “Most people likely enjoy some form of BDSM.”\nSo let’s explore some possibilities:\nIf You’re Curious About BDSM\nMaybe the fact that you’re reading this article to begin with is a sign. That’s because “Curiosity around BDSM is itself a great sign you might be into BDSM,” says Quaderer.\nIf You Find Vanilla Sex Boring\n“If you find ‘typical’ sex boring or unsatisfying, you may be into BDSM, although sex isn’t required to enjoy or engage in BDSM,” says Lords. “However, many people realize they’re kinky when what mainstream culture tells them they ‘should’ be into and enjoy sexually just doesn’t work for them.”\nRELATED: What Is Vanilla Sex?\nIf You Get Aroused by Situations of Control\n“You might also realize you’re into BDSM (outside of a sexual situation) if you find yourself intrigued or aroused by seeing people tied up or controlled in some way or fantasizing about being in situations where you have all the control or give it all up,” says Lords.\nRELATED: How to Understand Your Lust Language\n“While some people figure out they might be kinky and into BDSM by watching kinky porn or reading erotica, some realize their kinks by wishing they were in the place of a fictional character in a movie or book that isn’t erotic at all,” she adds.\nIf You Get Off on Some or All of the Below\n“If you’re into spanking, bondage, role-play or physical sensation play during sex,” says Quaderer, “you’ve got some pretty strong signals that BDSM might be right up your alley.”\nTo this list, O’Reilly adds:\nIf you like sensation play (e.g. with temperature or textures)If you enjoy a little rough playIf you like soft, gentle teasingIf you enjoy sensory deprivation (e.g. blindfolds) or sensory overloadIf you like to talk dirtyIf you like to play different roles and/or dress up\nBasically, O’Reilly says, “If you fantasize about scenarios that go beyond monogamous intercourse in the dark, you may be into BDSM.”\n“I’d say most people are into some form of BDSM,” she says. “Not everyone will identify as kinky, but it;’s likely that almost everyone can enjoy some form of kink and BDSM.”\n\nBDSM Dos and Don’ts\n\nDon’t Pressure Anyone Else Into BDSM\n“Definitely do not pressure your partner (or anyone for that matter) to engage in BDSM or in any related activities or practices,” Quaderer says. “Enthusiastic consent is the way here — if they’re not eager to give it a go, don’t push them.”\n…and Don’t Pressure Yourself Into BDSM\n“On the flip side,” Quaderer says, “don’t engage in activities that you don’t want to! It’s your body, your sexual autonomy and your experience — do what you love (or lust). Don’t feel pressure to do something that you’re not comfortable with!”\nDo Talk About It (A Lot)\n“Make sure to establish and communicate clear boundaries, limits, and expectations,” says Quaderer. “Communicate before, during and after the scene (including using your safe word) to make sure you are respecting your partner(s)’ boundaries and are meeting their needs and expectations.”\nRELATED: Here's How to Talk About Sex With a Partner\nDon’t Just Assume You’re on the Same Page\nIt can be a bad idea to “assume that other people know what you mean when you talk about kinks,” Lords says. “Every aspect of BDSM is extremely personal and individualized. Labels, titles, and kinks can mean different things to different people.”\nDo Research Kink Activities Before You Try Them\n“There are tons of videos, books, podcasts, and blogs out there,” says Lords. “Fetlife can be a good resource, too.” \nO’Reilly, meanwhile, suggests this course on kinky skills.\nDon’t Presume Consent\n“Don’t assume you have consent just because someone agreed to get kinky previously,” says Lords. “Always check in, make sure everyone involved knows what you plan to do, and make sure everyone’s into it.”\nRELATED: What Consent & Non-Consent Can Look Like in Practice\nDo Use Safe Words… But Don’t Over-Rely on Them\n“Talk about safe words and how BDSM play can stop — but don’t rely on a safe word alone,” says Lords. “In the heat of the moment, a partner might forget the safe word or be unable to speak. When in doubt, stop all play to check in with each other.”\nDon’t Believe Fictional Representations of BDSM\n“Don’t assume that what you see on TV or in the movies is what BDSM looks like in real life,” O’Reilly cautions. “There are so many ways to explore BDSM, and oftentimes pop culture representations are laden with harmful stereotypes.”\nRELATED: What Is Kink-Shaming? (And Why You Should Avoid Doing It)\nDo Get Intersectional\nBecause racial dynamics often involve not just power imbalances but also histories of trauma, it’s a good idea to “consider the ways in which identity can affect experiences of BDSM,” O’Reilly notes. \nShe suggests checking out this resource on the intersection of race and kink for more.\nDon’t Assume That BDSM Veterans Know Better Than You\nJust “because someone has been practicing BDSM for longer than you,” O’Reilly notes, doesn’t mean “that they’re inevitably more learned.”\n“They may have more experience,” she says, “but you know your body, needs and boundaries best.”\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Sexual Boundaries \nDo Go Slow\n“You don’t have to do everything at once,” says O’Reilly. “So take your time to learn, experiment and add new elements a little at a time.”\n“BDSM isn’t a race and there is no finish line,” Lords agrees. “You don’t have to do all the things at once, so take your time and make sure you have an idea of what you’re doing — and that you understand the risks — before you begin.”\nDon’t Be Ashamed of Your Desires\n“Whatever you desire — from sensual play to degradation,” O’Reilly says, “give yourself permission to fantasize and explore without inhibition. You don't have to understand and explain the root of every desire — you can simply indulge in all your desires for the sake of pleasure itself.”\nYou Might Also Dig:\n\n\tSexual Fetishes Every Guy Should Try Once\n\tThe Couples' Guide to Getting Kinky\n\tExploring Different Kinds of Taboo Sex", "keywords": "Here’s, What, You, Should, Know, About, BDSM", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2022/12/22-012226-keys_to_bdsm.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/naughty_sex/keys-to-bdsm.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:51:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128780", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Merry Marriage Challenge", "title_slug": "the-merry-marriage-challenge", "title_hash": "a381573aa4ef15f3b0167ad51df388c0", "summary": "A simple, flirty 7-day marriage challenge to help busy couples stay connected during the holiday season.\nThe post The Merry Marriage Challenge appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

A simple, flirty 7-day marriage challenge to help busy couples stay connected during the holiday season.

The post The Merry Marriage Challenge appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "The, Merry, Marriage, Challenge", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Screenshot-2025-12-05-at-9.57.51-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/merry-marriage-challenge-7-day-connection/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:49:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128779", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Sexy Escape Room for Two", "title_slug": "a-sexy-escape-room-for-two", "title_hash": "0268694d81b6aa7808e4ca28201253b1", "summary": "Embark on this sexy escape room to complete a series of clues and puzzles until you FINALLY reach your FANTASY SUITE…the bedroom!\nThe post A Sexy Escape Room for Two appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Embark on this sexy escape room to complete a series of clues and puzzles until you FINALLY reach your FANTASY SUITE…the bedroom!

The post A Sexy Escape Room for Two appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": ", Sexy, Escape, Room, for, Two", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/14.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/a-sexy-escape-room-for-two/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-15 03:49:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "128551", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Was Only Fourteen When She Said My Brother Had Gotten Her Pregnant", "title_slug": "she-was-only-fourteen-when-she-said-my-brother-had-gotten-her-pregnant", "title_hash": "c0f8594dae4477b44c0aa3ffe89e6e1c", "summary": "We live in what people like to call “a good home.” A big house. Several cars. Businesses running. By God’s grace, we are comfortable. We are educated. Our family name …", "content": "

We live in what people like to call “a good home.” A big house. Several cars. Businesses running. By God’s grace, we are comfortable. We are educated. Our family name carries weight, and from childhood we were raised to protect it. Still, despite all this, each of us children was taught to build something for ourselves. Nothing was handed to us freely.

After I completed SHS and was waiting for my results, I didn’t want to sit idle. I applied to teach in a private school nearby. That was where I met the girl.

She was much younger than me, but she admired me deeply. When my results came out and I left for the university after about three months, I thought that chapter had ended. But it didn’t. Anytime she saw me in the neighbourhood, she called me “madam” or “sister.” I felt responsible for her. I took it upon myself to groom her the way older sisters do. Some days she followed me around, and I bought food for her or gave her small money. I never hesitated. When I went to her mother’s provision shop, she would ask me to buy her something, and I always did.

She kept saying she wanted to visit me in our house, but I never allowed it. Something about it didn’t sit right with me.

Later, my younger brother told me this girl had also been approaching him, saying she wanted to be his friend. He ignored her completely. What disturbed him was her behaviour. She would call him “mekunu” whenever she saw him in town. My brother was only about seventeen then. He was confused and uncomfortable. According to him, he always tried to avoid the girl

Then the unimaginable happened. At fourteen, the girl got pregnant.

When my mother called to tell me, I was shocked to my bones. The girl mentioned no name except my brother’s. I couldn’t even defend him properly because, in our culture, accusation alone from a woman or a girl is enough to stain a person. When it comes to pregnancy, they say only mothers know so we worship what a woman says when it comes to who gets her pregnant. Still, I knew my brother. He had never even held her hand.

My father was away at the time. When he returned, the girl’s mother came with the news formally: her daughter was pregnant and had named my brother. We questioned him. He said plainly it was false. He dipped his index finger in his mouth, touched the earth with it and showed it to the heavens and said, “I swear I know nothing about what this girl is saying. I’ve never spoken to her intimately, never proposed to her, never seen her naked. Nothing.”

My father was quiet. Perhaps because of our family name. Perhaps because silence is sometimes used to buy peace.

He agreed to take responsibility temporarily on one condition: when the baby turned six months, a DNA test would be done. Everyone agreed. Until then, my father provided monthly money, foodstuffs, and paid for antenatal care. Not because he believed my brother was guilty, but because he was protecting our family name.

My brother suffered quietly. He would confide in me constantly, telling me they were wasting our father’s money, that the child was not his. There were even rumours in town that another man had claimed responsibility, but because our family was well-known, the pregnancy had been conveniently pinned on my brother. The rumour said the real father planned to resurface after we had finished caring for the child.

Still, my father honoured his word. When the girl delivered a baby girl, my father bought clothes, food, baby items, everything. Then he asked them to name the child after me. And they did. My name followed that child everywhere. That alone broke me.

At six months, I pushed relentlessly for the DNA test. My father had grown reluctant, perhaps emotionally invested, perhaps tired. But I insisted. My brother’s mental health was deteriorating. This accusation was killing him slowly.

The test was done. Two weeks later, the results came. 99.99999% NOT my brother.

When we showed him the paper, he exhaled like someone released from chains. I physically saw weight leave his body. Our entire family rejoiced. My grandmother wore white that morning when she heard the news. She was that relieved. I laughed, but my laughter carried pain.

My father immediately stopped supporting the girl’s family. Nothing was taken back. Not the many gifts and not money spent on her. Later, My dad told me the girl’s mother came with elders to beg for forgiveness. My father told them he held no grudge and sent them away peacefully.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

But till today, I think about how quietly trouble can locate you. How you can be sitting innocently in your house, and falsehood will come and tie you so tightly that even the truth struggles to breathe. My brother was innocent but our family was dragged. My name was carried by a lie. And that is something no DNA result can completely erase.

—Maame A.K

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*****

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I have been with my wife for about eight years. Out of those eight years, we have been married for three. When I look back now, I sometimes wonder at what point love quietly turned into endurance, and partnership slowly became a one-man project. This is not a story of hatred. It is a story of a man who loved deeply, gave honestly, and is now standing at the crossroads of doubt and responsibility.

I met her in 2017, shortly after graduating from school. I had completed my studies and was waiting for my National Service posting. I returned to my hometown to spend time with my mother while waiting for the next phase of life to begin. I planned to stay for about a month. I did not know that within that month, my entire future would quietly change.

One morning, I stepped out early. On my way, I passed by a pipe stand. That was where I saw her for the first time. She was dark-skinned, with white teeth and a smile that felt effortless and sincere. It was love at first sight, at least from my end. I stood there for a moment, scratching my head and trying to find the courage and the right words to approach her. Then something happened that still feels like divine alignment to this day. She looked at me calmly and said, “Bra, can you help me carry my pan?”

That was all I needed.

From that morning, I made sure I passed by the pipe stand every day. The tap was conveniently close to my house, and I convinced myself that this was destiny doing the hard work for me. We exchanged greetings, small smiles, and eventually familiarity. I later got her number through my younger sister, and that was how our conversations truly began.

I proposed not long after, and she said yes.

At the time, she was nearing the end of her training as a seamstress. I was not rich. I was not even comfortable. But I believed in partnership. I supported her in every small way I could. I helped her get a table and chairs so she could start sewing on her veranda. We talked about saving together so we could eventually put up a shop for her. It was not just talk. By the grace of God, we achieved it. We put up the shop. I even bought an industrial sewing machine for her. I was proud of her, and proud of us.

In 2020, she got pregnant. In February 2021, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Our plan was to do a small traditional marriage alongside the naming ceremony after she delivered. But life had other plans. Around that same period, I was posted to my current station. I had to gather the little money I had to secure accommodation there. Choices had to be made so I chose stability over celebration.

We eventually married in 2022. That was when things began to change. Slowly at first. Quietly. Almost unnoticeably.

Bad friends entered the picture. The kind of friends who speak boldly but build nothing. Friends who plant ideas without responsibility. Every plan I suggested to safeguard our family was met with resistance. If I suggested buying land together, she would withdraw. I once asked her to add something small to what I had so we could purchase a plot of land. Her response stunned me. She said, “A woman’s money does not buy land.”

I swallowed it. Another time, I suggested that we start saving towards our children’s future. Her reply was even colder. She said, “They are your children. You are the one responsible for their needs.”

Again, I swallowed it.

I did not complain. I did not involve anyone. I told myself that marriage requires patience. I reminded myself that I am the man. I carried the weight quietly and continued to provide the best I could.

What finally broke something inside me was not money or words. It was behavior.

After being away at my station for about three months, I returned home. That very night, she went out drinking with a so-called male friend. The same night I returned. I tried to understand it, to rationalize it, to not look like an insecure man. But my heart was heavy.

Then, about a week ago, something else happened. She told me she was travelling to Takoradi to purchase materials for her work. I did not suspect anything. Later, I found out she had gone with that same male friend. When I confronted her, she said she only went with him so he could guide her to buy items for his wedding.

That explanation left me more confused than relieved. Why lie in the first place? If nothing was wrong, why not speak the truth from the beginning? Why involve another man in plans she deliberately hid from me? Why return home and act like everything was normal?

I love my wife. That truth still stands. But love alone cannot silence doubt forever. Certain attitudes have settled uneasily in my mind, and I find myself questioning things I never imagined I would question. Am I being insecure, or am I responding to repeated red flags I chose to ignore for too long?

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I am tired of pretending everything is fine when my spirit is unsettled. I am tired of swallowing my concerns to keep peace that feels one-sided. I have reached the point where I am considering involving her parents, not to disgrace her, but to save what we have left. Family still matters. Elders still speak where emotions fail. But I don’t want to make things worse so I am asking whether to involve her parents or leave things as they are and hope time will soften what words could not.

A lot has changed, and pretending otherwise will not protect my marriage, my peace, or my children.

—Kwabena

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*****

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Maybe I’m mad, but hear me out. My husband’s elder sister lives not too far from us, so she visits often and sometimes comes to spend the night with us. I started noticing a pattern that didn’t sit well with me, but I had to reluctantly brush it off. For instance, Baaba, my husband’s sister, came to our house one morning and I told her my husband was bathing. She pushed the bathroom door open and stood at the entrance talking to my husband while he was bathing.

I was like, “What’s happening? Why is she looking at my husband’s nakedness?” When she left, I asked my husband about it and he answered, “Haven’t you noticed that Baaba is not normal?”

Just a few days ago, my husband called and said he was at Baaba’s house, so I should bring his laptop to him to work on something. I got there and Baaba was standing stark naked in front of my husband while wiping herself with a towel. She had walked out of the bathroom to wipe herself in front of my husband.

I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t look at her twice, but she was so comfortable cleaning herself, adjusting her ass and wiping there with her towel. I didn’t stay more than three minutes and left. My husband has two other sisters, but they are not like that with my husband. They are very discreet and respectful of space, but not Baaba.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I’ve also noticed that Baaba is not like that with even her own sisters. That’s what baffles me. She tries to act like the big sister when they are together, throwing her weight around for everyone to know she’s the elder, but when it comes to my husband, she lets herself go and acts like they are the only two people in the world. Is this normal? Are any of you like this with your siblings of the opposite gender?

—Efe

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My ex-wife/wife and I are divorced, but the paper we signed says otherwise. It has been seven years, and I have asked her time and again to meet me in court and finish this. She was the one who asked for the divorce. She made it plain when she returned my drinks to my family, saying she was done with me for good.

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Seven years is a long time. Long enough to move on, and I have. I found a woman who is everything I ever asked for. Yet whenever I tell my ex-wife to have the papers sent, to finish this, she acts as if I am speaking into the wind. She does not hear me.

This is the story.

When I met my ex-wife, I was a man with almost nothing. A small salary and big dreams. She saw me. She believed in me when I had nothing. But she would not cook for me, or clean. When she visited, she did nothing. She said those were wifely duties, and I had not yet put a ring on her finger. So I did. I married a woman who came to me pure, who knew nothing of men. I was her first and I intended to be her last too. I taught her about intimacy with words. I didn’t touch her, not until our wedding night.

Things were good, for a time. Then I saved and got her a shop of her own. I set her up, my wife, like any other man. Not long after, she changed. I told myself it was the business. She needed to find her footing. I gave advice, I gave money, I gave patience. But all the house chores became mine. I would leave work early, stop at the market for what was needed, and rush home to cook. On weekends, I cooked, I scrubbed, I washed, and I cleaned, while she slept or went to work. Even sex became a problem, something I sometimes got on my knees to beg for.

Then, one day, I cheated. I needed to find the joy I was not getting from her. I seriously needed the release. But she caught me. I begged and I begged, but she did not want to hear me out. She only wanted out. She wanted the divorce, and she left.

It was painful. I tried to bring her back. I begged. I promised to do everything, to be her errands boy even. For a while, we were getting somewhere. It was like we were dating again, a slow step toward coming home. Then she changed. She moved on. I hear she is with someone now.

Now, I have moved on too. This new lady is younger, and she loves me. She does everything for me. I am building myself up again, and money is not plentiful, but she helps with the bills without complaint. She is down to earth. She is not like my ex-wife, whom I had to beg to lift a hand in our home. This woman does it all willingly.

But here is my problem. This lady is the answer to all my old prayers, yet I still feel love for my ex-wife burning inside me. I think of her all the time. When I call just to hear her voice, she shouts. She tells me not to call unless it is about our child.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

I want to kill that old love. I want to pressure her to go to court, or go myself, and finally cut this last string. But something in me always stops. Then I turn and see this good woman, this beautiful person who makes me feel safe. And I feel another kind of pain, because I do not love her the way she deserves.

I am a man standing in two worlds, and I am completely confused.

—Fo. Yaw

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2025 has been my worst year on this earth so far. We are all fighting a silent battle, one that a lot of people don’t know about.

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I am a 35-year-old guy, and I am still searching for his purpose in life. I am the last of four, very vibrant, energetic, and hardworking. But this year has been filled with misfortunes and bad luck that could have made anyone give up. When I look around me, all the friends I grew up with have made it in life, often with help from someone or from their parents. Except me. I am still roaming around like a headless chicken.

I have set up businesses, but you know what? They collapse in a short time. Yet, if I help anyone else set up a business, it flourishes. My mum, on the other hand, keeps pressuring me to stand on my feet. It is not like I am a stay-at-home person. Laziness is not my middle name. It fears me to the core. But things are just not working.

I help people book appointments for Schengen visas. I apply for them, and more than half get approved. But when it is my turn, I either get denied or deported even after getting the visa to travel. I have prayed. I have fasted. I have done everything religiously. But it seems like I have sinned more than anyone else in this world for God to ignore my prayers.

It is really hard. And trust me, people see me as if there is nothing wrong. But I alone know what I am going through.

I thank God that I don’t gamble, smoke, womanise, drink, or do anything unwanted. It is just that things are very hard for me at this moment. Nieces and nephews look up to me for support to go to school. Friends promised to help me, but none of them pick up my calls. Some owe me huge sums of money and they are not willing to pay.

I am just lost in life. Sometimes I lock myself inside and cry just to get some relief.

When you read this, remember me in your prayers. I don’t want anything else. Just to be remembered in prayers. It is so hard for me now.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

But I look up to the hills from where my help comes. My help comes from the Lord, the one who made heaven and earth. He will make a way when there seems to be no way. I pray for God to look at me and send help along the way.

—Bismark

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Whether you’re celebrating the holidays with loved ones or just enjoying some quiet time off, this time of year is prime for curling up under a blanket and catching up on all the reading you wish you’d done during the year. The Rewire News Group staff is, unsurprisingly, made up of a bunch of book nerds, and we rounded up some of our favorites for all ages. Here are the books we think you should add to your shelf this year.

For adults

The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World by Robin Wall Kimmerer (non-fiction)

This is a quick read, but it resonated with me all year. It’s a book about the economy of nature, a gift economy. Finishing this book gave me so much hope. I borrowed it from the library, but a physical copy is necessary for home. -Cage Rivera, Senior Graphic Designer

Bitch: On the Female of the Species by Lucy Cooke (comedic science)

This book takes a critical—and comedic—look at evolution and the role sex and sexual pleasure plays in the animal kingdom. Cooke, through intriguing interviews with animal experts, challenges the idea that our cultural beliefs about the role of evolution in gender roles, sex, and sexual choice have firm footing in evolutionary science. -Cameron Oakes, Staff Editor

Easy Beauty by Chloé Cooper Jones (memoir)

This is a provocative and honest memoir exploring disability, motherhood, and the perception of beauty. It challenged me with difficult feelings that begged me to reconsider my own understanding of beauty differently. -Ashley Guckert, RNG consultant from the News Revenue Hub

Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley (fiction)

I was skeptical when I saw Bradley’s debut novel promoted as “recommended reading for literally everyone” at my local bookseller. Science fiction isn’t normally my genre, and Ministry of Time is about time travel. But it’s also about a lot more than that, including imperialism, spy intrigue, forbidden love, climate change, and more. I tore through this page-turner in a few days. -Catesby Holmes, Editorial Director

Bad Summer People by Emma Rosenblum (fiction)

Set on Fire Island, New York, Bad Summer People is one-part rich people behaving badly, and one-part murder mystery. This book was delicious—it follows several wealthy couples and singles whose summers are dictated by tennis, the beach, and mind games. It’s scandalous and at times enraging, and the mysterious death at the center of it all keeps you flipping the pages. What more could you ask for? (Plus, the movie adaptation is set to star Sarah Michelle Gellar!) -Natasha Roy, Staff Editor

Second Chances in New Port Stephen by T.J. Alexander (queer fiction)

Though the romance market is diversifying, there are still not enough romance novels about trans people, especially trans men, so I jumped at the chance to read this gem. When TV writer Eli Ward returns to his Florida hometown for the holidays, he doesn’t know what to expect. He’s sober, post-transition, and unsure if his small town will welcome him. But then he runs into his high school ex, Nick, and their magical love story propels the plot forward and really makes the book shine. I love reading about trans folks being properly cared for and loved! -Evette Dionne, Newsletter Editor

For young children

Grump Groan Growl by bell hooks

My sneaky way of inserting anti-racism into my nephew’s formative years has been buying bell hooks’ children’s books. Grump Groan Growl is a humorous exploration of moods. -A.G.

Pride Puppy by Robin Stevenson

After the Supreme Court heard a case about banishing this board book from schools, I knew I would buy it. What I didn’t know is that my 2-year-old, knowing nothing of anti-rights politics, would adore Pride Puppy. It’s now a favorite on heavy rotation in my house. It’s not about bondage, as Justice Neil Gorsuch seemingly suggested during oral arguments. It’s a colorful, joyful lesson on ABCs. “K is for kindness and friends that we’re keeping.” -C.H.

On the Day You Were Born by Debra Frasier

It’s a win if I can get through this book without crying. As my baby approaches 18 months, I’m feeling all the feelings about the transition from babyhood into toddler life. I love to read this book to my baby at bedtime, all cozied up, and marveling at how it tells the story of how the whole universe anticipated and welcomed her. It takes me back to the life-changing moment of her arrival and puts it in a beautiful context of the wider world and all other living things. -Sarah Frank, RNG consultant from the News Revenue Hub

Santa’s Diaries: A Year of Mayhem, Merriment, and Miracles at the North Pole by Nicholas F. Christmas, J.M. Tannenbaum, and V.C. Tannenbaum

Ask not what Santa can do for you, but what you can do for Santa. In this delightful, cute little novel, we witness a year in the life of the big man himself in the form of diary entries. I used to reread this around the holidays for years, and it never failed to make me laugh out loud. From Mrs. Claus trying to help Santa stay healthy to maintaining the sleigh, Santa’s Diaries is a fun read for adults and kids alike. -N.R.

For teens, young adults, and adults who are young at heart

Joy to the Girls by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick (YA sapphic fiction)

Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick are my favorite married writing duo. Joy to the Girls, a novella follow-up to She Gets the Girl, follows our graduating seniors Alex and Molly to Barnwich, Massachusetts, a fictional Christmas-obsessed town, during their winter break. They’re enjoying all the town’s fun holiday activities while also trying to get two of their friends to realize they like each other. This quick read will get you into the holiday spirit. -E.D.

Only This Beautiful Moment by Abdi Nazemian (YA gay fiction)

If you, like me, largely learned about Iran through American aughts propaganda, political thriller TV shows, or any other inaccurate or Islamophobic source, I encourage you to read this sweet, poignant novel on Iranian and American boyhood, queerness, and family. Split across three generations, Moud and his distant father, Saeed, travel from Los Angeles to Tehran to see his dying grandfather. Tender, poignant, and contemporary, Nazemian invites you into a portion of Iranian history, culture, and queer identity with compassion and love. -Diana Fraser, Head of Operations

Loudmouth by Deborah Heiligman (YA feminist history)

U.S. textbooks often give American anarchism short shrift. The political activist Emma Goldman, who envisioned a less capitalist, more communal U.S., was a big player in that movement. Goldman, born in Lithuania, was a complex, volatile character who fought mercilessly to change the adopted homeland she loved. Heiligman doesn’t attempt to whitewash Goldman’s complicated and sex-filled life for young readers, and her story reads more like a novel than a biography. -C.H.

Only for the Holidays by Abiola Bello (YA holiday romance)

Tia Solanké is a London girl who loves the hustle and bustle of the city. Quincy Parker is a country boy who loves his family’s farm and inn. Their worlds collide when Tia’s mother surprises her daughters with a trip to Quincy’s farm. When Quincy needs a date to the town’s biggest ball of the year, the pair agree to fake-date. This classic romance trope has been done countless times, but there’s something endearing about Black teens in the United Kingdom unwittingly falling in love during the holidays. -E.D.

The Afterlife of Holly Chase by Cynthia Hand (YA holiday novel)

For those who enjoy innovative reimaginings of A Christmas Carol. Spoiled and selfish teen Holly Chase was visited by the three classic Ghosts on Christmas Eve five years ago. Unlike Ebenezer Scrooge, Holly dies because her behavior didn’t improve after her haunting. Now, unable to move fully to the afterlife, she works for Project Scrooge, the top-secret company that selects a Scrooge to haunt every holiday season. But this year’s Scrooge is also a teenager who may die if he doesn’t change his ways, and Holly might just be falling for him. I read this book two years ago and the twist still stays with me! -E.D.

The post The Official Rewire 2025 Book List appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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About half to three-quarters of expectant parents experience pain during pregnancy that is largely untreated, contributing to preventable suffering and harm. Many people avoid medications and treatments during pregnancy for fear that they may cause harm to their unborn baby. Yet, most are unaware of the harms that untreated pain in pregnancy may cause.

Like many women, I experienced severe pain in pregnancy. As a nurse researcher, I listen to women’s stories and analyze data from across the United States. I share these findings through publications, presentations, and the media to raise awareness and reduce the suffering of untreated pregnancy pain.

Not just minor ‘discomfort’

People are often told that the pain that comes with pregnancy is a temporary discomfort that comes with the territory—and ends as soon as the baby is born.

But when pain and discomfort persist to the point that pregnant people cannot sleep, work, and care for their other children, that pain needs to be addressed. And for some pregnant people, the pain does not just eventually fade. Back pain and headaches, for example, can last longer than three months, becoming a chronic condition that affects overall health.

Normal changes that occur during pregnancy often lead to pain. Pregnancy pain normally occurs from hormonal changes that can cause headaches and loosening of pelvic joints. The loosening of joints and the weight of the fetus contribute to back and pelvic pain. The weight of the developing baby also causes the spine to abnormally curve, a experience pain during pregnancy.

Back and pelvic pain increase in the third trimester of pregnancy when the weight of the baby is at its greatest. This is why it’s incredibly important for doctors and loved ones to believe pregnant people when they report pain. However, one meta-analysis, meaning an in-depth review of existing research, found that more than 50 percent of mothers who reported their pain received little to no treatment from their doctors.

Inadequacy of current treatments

Current treatments for pain during pregnancy are highly limited.

Tylenol, though safe—despite the current controversy—treats only mild pain and is ineffective for moderate to severe muscle pain.

Alternative treatments that are also recommended and can be effective, such as heat or cold applications, massage, chiropractic adjustments, exercise, and physical therapy, may need to be used in unison and on an ongoing basis. These treatments are not always covered by insurance.

The most effective approach combines several treatments, including exercise that may be provided through physical therapy. Unfortunately, this care may be costly for pregnant people without adequate insurance, and awareness of these options varies among providers.

The harms of untreated pregnancy pain

My team’s research reveals that when mothers report pain during pregnancy to their health-care providers and loved ones, they are typically instructed to go home, rest, take Tylenol, go on parental leave, or a combination of these. However, this does not meet the needs of pregnant people who must work or care for other children. In addition, going on leave early is not an option for many pregnant people who desire to save their limited parental leave for after the baby is born.

Pregnant people will almost always continue to take care of their children or work at the expense of their health if they feel there are no other choices. However, when expectations from their work, family or themselves are not met, pregnant people may feel guilty about not being a good enough parent or employee. This cycle can contribute to mental health challenges.

When pain is left untreated, pregnant people may feel minimized, unheard and overwhelmed. In turn, they can start to feel helpless and hopeless, which are symptoms of depression. My colleagues and I found that approximately 44 percent of women with severe pain report moderate to severe depressive symptoms during the third trimester of pregnancy.

Untreated depression can also lead to suicide, which is responsible for 5 percent to 20 percent of maternal deaths in the U.S.

Equally important, opioid or narcotic pain relievers may be prescribed for pregnant people experiencing severe pain. Yet, 1 in 5 women with pain report misusing these prescribed medications during pregnancy to relieve pain. In turn, this increases the risk of newborns experiencing withdrawal from these medications after birth, causing significant suffering. Sadly, neonatal opioid withdrawal syndrome is becoming more common, costing the country over $462 million annually.

With suicide and drug overdoses now the leading causes of death in the year after childbirth, effective pain management in pregnancy is urgently needed.

Being assertive about pregnancy pain

Managing pregnancy pain starts with open communication between the pregnant person and their health-care provider. Our studies reveal that by gently adjusting expectations, sharing how they feel, and asking about available treatments, pregnant people can take an active role in ensuring their pain is understood and addressed.

Pregnant people are strong, but it’s natural to slow down. Pregnancy is a time to listen to your body and adjust expectations. I believe that balance matters. If pain prevents you from lifting your toddler, that’s OK. What your child will remember the most are the moments you snuggled with them on the couch.

My team’s studies reveal that talking to loved ones about pain may be a challenge. So choose a calm, quiet time without distractions—when everyone can listen and respond thoughtfully. Be open about how you feel and clear about the help you need. Using “I” statements such as “I feel …” also helps. Allow for questions.

Share reliable articles or invite loved ones to a medical appointment so they can better understand what you are experiencing. If someone dismisses your pain, reach out to others who are more supportive.

It is also important to start the conversation with your doctor, midwife, or nurse practitioner. Before your appointment, jot down your main concerns and any questions you would like to ask.

Be honest about your pain, especially if it is preventing you from sleeping or doing your usual activities. Tell your provider whether the pain is constant or comes and goes, and describe what it feels like—achy, throbbing, sharp, or dull. Even mild ongoing pain that disrupts rest or daily life is important.

Share what you’ve already tried and how well those treatments have worked. If your pain is not improving, reach out to discuss other options, such as prescription medications or a referral to physical therapy. Sometimes, it takes more than one conversation to find relief.

If your pain continues, ask about consulting with a specialist or another health-care provider for a different perspective. If your pain improves with treatment but your insurance requests you stop, ask your provider to help appeal the decision. Ongoing treatment throughout pregnancy may be necessary to control your pain.

Relief is possible when pain is taken seriously, not dismissed as an unavoidable harm of pregnancy. $\"The$

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Rewire News Group changed some of the language in this article to reflect in-house style guidelines. Read the original article by Julie Vignato, Assistant Professor of Nursing, University of Iowa. Julie Vignato received funding from the National Institutes of Health. She is a member and Leadership Scholar with the United States Association for the Study of Pain.

The post Back Pain During Pregnancy Is Often Dismissed as a Passing Discomfort−A Nurse Explains Why it Should Be Taken Seriously and Treated appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Not to brag, but I’m an Olympic gold medalist in gift-giving—at least, I think so. I love noodling over the perfect birthday or holiday present for my friends and family, and it’s fun to get creative. One of my all-time greatest Secret Santa gifts was a Cameo from an artist specializing in tingling sensations from specific triggers for an ASMR-obsessed friend.

It’s one thing to nail down the perfect gift for one person. But having to nail down the perfect gift for your friends, family, in-laws, neighbors, and whoever else is on your list can get hectic. Enter: the Rewire News Group holiday gift guide. My colleagues and I picked out some of our favorite present ideas based on our own gift-giving experiences and research (we don’t get any money if you buy them). Happy gifting!

For activists

Hydro Flask water bottle ($28.50-$41.25)

The pro-choice protestors need to stay hydrated. These Hydro Flask water bottles are insulated and dishwasher-safe. Plus, you can customize the size (choose from 20-ounce, 24-ounce, 32-ounce, 32-ounce travel bottle, or 40-ounce) and cap (choose from an insulated cap, leakproof sip lid meant for hot drinks, a cap with a straw, and a chug cap). And to top it off, you can choose from multiple bottle, cap, colors and boot colors; engravings cost extra.

Donate to an abortion fund (amount up to you)

It’s easy! It’s simple! And it’s a gift that supports the folks who need it the most. You can find your local abortion fund through the National Network of Abortion Funds’ “Find a Fund” page.

For pregnant friends

Lila labor and delivery gown ($69.99)

RNG Head of Operations Diana Fraser recommends Lila’s labor and delivery gown, designed by a L&D nurse. It’ll help to make their hospital stay more comfortable, and let the nurses get pregnant patients hooked up to everything they need without their bums hanging out in the cold hospital gown! It’s available in more than a dozen colors and patterns, as well as five different styles.

Gift card (amount up to you)

While becoming a parent is super exciting and joyful, it’s really easy for parent gifts to become all about the kids—especially for moms. Fraser recommends getting post-partum parents a gift card to something they’re interested in, since they can often miss doing their hobbies on their own. So love up on your friends as you know them!

For moms

Anthropologie candle ($15.40-$85.40—sale prices)

I will die on this hill: Anthropologie makes the greatest candles of all time. When the powers that be create a Candle Hall of Fame, Capri Blue Woody Fir & Firewood should be the first inductee. It’s criminal that Anthropologie only sells this scent during the holiday season. Yes I hoard the small ones, and yes I paid more than $120 for the 50-ounce candle this year. (It’s already sold out!) My best friend recently informed me that there is, indeed, a 130-ounce Capri Blue Volcano candle—it’s usually $228, but it’s on sale right now for $159.60. It’s cozy, warms your home, and serves as a beautiful centerpiece.

For dads

Personalized coffee bar sign (starts at $19.88)

Why are dads so hard to shop for? Every year, my sister and I ask our dad what he might want. And every year, he asks us to just write him a nice letter. Last year, though, my sister knocked it out of the park. She found a customizable light-up sign for my dad’s little coffee station on Etsy, and he’s obsessed with it. I’d recommend this sign for dads who see themselves as bartenders, and this one for your favorite grill master.

For in-laws

Framed family photo ($12.49)

My partner’s parents are major sweetie pies who, like my dad, would literally be happy with a nice card. Instead of just the card, I’m printing out a nice photo of their family and framing it with this picture frame from Michael’s. I like this frame in particular because it comes in multiple sizes, and they can choose to either hang it on a wall or prop it up on a desk or table. It’s simple, neutral, and personal. And if you want to get really fancy, you can get your in-laws an Aura Frame, which allows you to upload photos digitally and switch them out as you’d like. Grandparents really like this gift, too, since you can link it to your kids’ photostream and give them a non-stop slideshow of their favorite little ones.

For kids

Chunky Deli food board books ($12.99)

Fraser’s 2-year-old nephew is really into food and cooking as his palate expands. He asked his parents to read the Chunky Deli books nightly, and then gave each one a hug good night for months. From books like the Little Book of Pasta, to Seafood Rainbow—and themed bundles—you’ll be able to find the right reading for your little one’s taste.

Pottery Barn Kids mini play kitchen ($79)

It’s probably a little too early for your favorite youngin’ to be playing with fire, but they can get some practice with this mini play kitchen. Its “oven” has three knobs, a window, and a fixed shelf, and it comes with an eggbeater, gloves, and heat-insulated pad. For extra fun, you can tack on this wooden pizza set ($49).

Beautiful Oops! by Barney Saltzberg ($16.99)

Sometimes, what seems like a mistake is actually an opportunity to make something beautiful. That’s the message of this interactive children’s book, recommended by RNG Editorial Director Catesby Holmes. This board book teaches accident-prone tots to get creative with drips, drops, smudges, smears, spills, rips, and holes.

For a teen

PlayerLux portable CD player ($85)

Holmes also chimed in to say: Analog is not dead! Remember the tactile pleasure of leafing through your giant Caselogic CD book to pick exactly the album you wanted to hear, then listening all the way through? Young music nerds, it turns out, are craving the curation that comes from scoping out bands and building their own library after a decade with unlimited digital music access. Help them get started on their musical journey with this sleek, modern version of the Discman.

For a college student

Fujifilm Instax Mini camera ($93.35)

When I was in college, I loved carrying around my Fujifilm Instax camera to parties, movie nights, you name it. I still have all my little photos from [redacted number] years ago. I used to have the Fujifilm Instax Mini (which comes in a bunch of cute pastel colors), but I have since upgraded to the Instax Square SQ1 ($159.95), which offers the more traditional square film images. Each camera requires different film sizes, so make sure you grab the right one for your giftee.

iPad ($349-$999)

OK, yes, it’s a splurge. But an iPad—or other tablet of your choice—is also the perfect way for a college kid to have (basically) everything they need for school in one lightweight device. They can download their textbooks, access their syllabi, and sneak in some Netflix breaks between classes and studying. Plus, they can even take notes by hand when an ornery professor bans laptops in class. (And in the ornery professor’s defense, I did do way better in classes where I had to take notes by hand.)

For self-care

Zyllion Shiatsu Back and Neck Massager with Heat ($69.95)

Our senior graphic designer, Cage Rivera, loves this massager. Even though it’s for the neck, they say it’s amazing for period cramps, with the heat and the massage aspect of it. They especially recommend it as a life-saver for those with endometriosis.

Ouai St. Barts Cleansing Scalp & Body Sugar Scrub ($42)

Rivera also shouted out Ouai’s scalp and body scrub, paired with any dandruff shampoo, to remove any and all flakes. It has helped with itchy scalp, too, and they say it would work nicely in a self-care gift basket.

For a White Elephant exchange

LEGO flower and plant set ($14.99-$109.99)

White Elephant parties are a blessing and a curse. You’re saved from having to get something for every single person at a gathering, but you also have to find just the right gift for relative strangers. Luckily, these LEGO floral sets rock—you can bring out your inner child and make an evening out of building one. They’re also beautiful and can be displayed in your house after building. These crowd pleasers are especially perfect for your friends with less-than-green thumbs. My personal favorites are the plum blossom and the hibiscus.

The post The Official 2025 Rewire Holiday Gift Guide appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In 2026, the biggest battles over abortion will not be at the polls.

There will be a few contested measures on state ballots. Next year, Nevada’s government will ask residents to approve constitutional protection for abortion rights for the second time, as required by state law. The same measure passed in 2024 with just over 64 percent of the vote.

Virginians will likely see a similar ballot initiative. In November 2025, voters there cemented a majority for Democrats in the state legislature, and the House of Delegates is expected to put forth an abortion rights ballot measure to voters in 2026.

Anti-abortion proponents in Missouri want to undo an amendment protecting abortion rights that voters passed in 2024. They’re advancing a new measure that could strip residents of the reproductive rights that are now constitutionally enshrined.

However, the most consequential questions about abortion in 2026 could be answered at the federal level, by the Trump administration or in the courts. As a scholar of reproductive health law, I’m watching how federal judges and agencies respond to conservative efforts to restrict or end people’s access to mailed abortion medication.

Medication abortion in the courts

Over 25 years ago, the Food and Drug Administration approved mifepristone—one of two drugs commonly paired together to end a pregnancy. Since that time, medication abortion has been closely regulated by the FDA and is under attack.

In 2022, the Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine, a coalition of anti-abortion physicians, sued the FDA for approving mifepristone in 2000 and for each time the agency eased a restriction on mifepristone thereafter, in 2016 and 2021. The complaint argued that the FDA failed to consider evidence establishing the harm caused by medication abortion—claims roundly rejected by decades of rigorous, peer-reviewed research.

The Supreme Court in 2024 ruled that the Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine lacked standing to sue because FDA regulation of medication abortion caused no actual injury to the doctors it represented, who do not prescribe mifepristone or perform abortions.

Yet the case lives on in lower federal courts. There is ongoing litigation, and politicians are taking up the fight over mailed medication abortion.

Kansas, Missouri, and Idaho intervened in the Alliance lawsuit in 2023, seeking to establish standing, and Louisiana sued the FDA in a separate case challenging the FDA’s regulation of mifepristone.

The pending actions focus on the FDA’s decision, in 2021, to lift the requirement that patients pick up mifepristone in person, which has permitted patients to receive medication abortion by mail. These states claim this development is dangerous and threatens their right to enforce their abortion bans.

In October 2025, a federal court in Hawaii came to a different conclusion. The court concluded that because mifepristone is very safe, the FDA must reconsider whether the drug necessitates any restrictions at all.

The politics of medication abortion

The dispute over medication abortion is playing out in Washington, D.C., too.

In 2025, 51 Republican senators and 22 Republican attorneys general asked the FDA to reinstate the 2021 in-person restriction and upend the transit of abortion pills.

In response to Republicans’ push to restrict or withdraw the availability of mifepristone, 47 Democratic senators and 20 attorneys general issued letters supporting mifepristone’s safety. The letters questioned a pledge by Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and his FDA chief to commence a “review” of the drug. The Democratic senators’ letter pressed the agency to remove all remaining restrictions on mifepristone.

In early December, Bloomberg reported that the FDA had quietly postponed its planned mifepristone “review” until after the 2026 midterm elections.

The battle over telehealth abortion care

Decades of research demonstrate that medication abortion is safe and effective. When commenced before ten weeks’ gestation, the two-drug method is effective about 98 percent of the time.

Complications like infection or hemorrhage are rare; they occur in perhaps a fraction of a percent of all medication abortions.

Yet courts and legislators cannot agree on basic facts, in part due to widespread disinformation around abortion care, and anti-abortion forces have waged a concerted national campaign to stop mailed abortion pills.

Today, no part of the medication abortion process needs to be done in person: The patient, provider, and pharmacy can all interact virtually.

Mailed medication abortion is popular nationwide, particularly in states with abortion bans. Because of mailed medication abortion, the average number of abortions nationwide has actually increased since the U.S. Supreme Court in 2022 overturned Roe v. Wade, ending abortion protections under the U.S. Constitution.

Providers in so-called “shield” states are a key reason for this. Eight U.S. states have laws that shield providers from civil, criminal, and professional consequences for delivering reproductive health care to out-of-state patients.

In these shield states, doctors may prescribe abortion medication no matter where the patient lives, so long as that care is delivered by a provider licensed and located in the shield state, complying with the shield state’s laws.

These laws are the subject of legal conflicts between anti-abortion states and shield states.

Late in 2024, Texas sued a doctor in New York, a shield state, for violating Texas abortion and licensure laws. In early 2025, Louisiana indicted the same New York physician.

Texas won its case in a Texas court and then asked New York to enforce the judgment—$100,000 in fines and fees. A New York court has refused to do so, citing its shield law. New York also rejected Louisiana’s request to extradite the doctor to stand trial for the same reason.

On Dec. 4, 2025, Texas officially enacted the first bill in the country that explicitly targets shield laws. Passed in September 2025, HB 7 allows private citizens to file lawsuits against a person or entity for attempting or intending to mail abortion pills into the state.

Watch the courts and the FDA

Having written about shield laws extensively, I believe these interstate conflicts will land, sooner or later, before the Supreme Court. Right now, state and federal courts are deciding the issues.

If judges determine that shield laws are unconstitutional or that the FDA acted illegally, courts could substantially alter people’s ability to gain access to medication abortion.

So could the FDA. If it reimposes an unnecessary restriction on mifepristone, meaning the drug would no longer be widely available through telehealth, that decision would curb how 1 in 4 people in the U.S. receive abortion care today.

But opinion polls indicate that the majority of Americans do not think abortion should be illegal in all circumstances, and they vote accordingly.

In November 2025, Democrats won significant elections, for example, in New Jersey, Virginia, and Pennsylvania. Abortion was absent from ballots in these states this year, but these races still held significance for abortion rights.

The election of a pro-choice governor and legislature in Virginia, for example, all but guarantees that abortion will continue to be legal in the last Southern state to protect broader abortion rights. Likewise, Pennsylvanians opted to keep the state supreme court’s liberal majority, which struck down the state prohibition on Medicaid payment for abortion.

In 2024, two years after the fall of Roe, 14 states put forth ballot initiatives to enshrine abortion as a state constitutional right. Eleven passed.

With little political support to pass a nationwide abortion ban, making it illegal to mail abortion pills is the most immediate way to obstruct reproductive health care in states with abortion bans.

The question for abortion in 2026, then, is: Will courts or federal forces do what democratic processes cannot?

This story was published in collaboration with The Conversation U.S., a nonprofit news organization dedicated to unlocking the knowledge of experts for the public good.

The post 2026’s Abortion Battles Will Be Fought More in Courts and FDA Offices Than at the Polls—Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Conservatives on the Supreme Court seem intent on sending a clear message to the American public this 2025-2026 term: A new age of American authoritarianism is here.

Four cases in particular underscore how the Court’s six conservative justices are an integral piece in the Republican project to upend the democratic norms that underpin U.S. society.

The outcome of these cases in 2026 will determine how successful the GOP and their Supreme Court enablers are in their project to deconstruct basic civil rights and liberties.

Texas redistricting and looming national abortion bans

On Dec. 4, 2025, the Supreme Court handed Republicans a significant victory, ruling Texas’ brand-new congressional map can take effect while a case challenging the legality of its partisan redistricting advances in the lower courts.

Texas Republicans redrew their congressional map over the summer after President Donald Trump urged them to try and increase Republican electoral margins in the U.S. House of Representatives in 2026. The new map creates up to five new likely Republican House seats while moving several Democratically-held incumbent seats, like the one currently occupied by vocal Trump critic Rep. Jasmine Crockett. This forces Democrats to either run against each other in newly drawn districts or to retire.

Crockett, who recently announced a run for the U.S. Senate in 2026, has joined a challenge, which now has multiple intervenors, to the new map which argues it’s an illegal racial gerrymander. On Nov. 18, two federal judges agreed with the plaintiffs, ruling there was evidence state lawmakers had racially gerrymandered in redrawing district lines. They barred Texas from using the new map for the 2026 midterm elections.

The Supreme Court’s Dec. 4 order pauses that lower court ruling and allows Texas’ new, more Republican-friendly map to take effect. Resolution of that challenge could take months, if not years, meaning Texas is likely to use its newly drawn congressional districts in the 2026 midterms.

In the meantime, California Democrats have responded with their own revamped congressional map. California’s Proposition 50, which voters passed handily at the polls in November, was a direct effort to neutralize any gains Republicans may see from the new Texas map.

California’s redistricting also faces legal challenges. Both the Trump administration and the conservative legal advocacy organization the Public Interest Legal Foundation have sued to block Prop 50, arguing the new map is an unconstitutional racial gerrymander. Those lawsuits are ongoing and, unless blocked by the courts, will be used in 2026, when Californians will vote in both national and state-level races.

The fight over congressional maps and the 2026 midterm elections may feel several steps removed from the fight for bodily autonomy that’s underway right now. That fight includes efforts by attorneys general in states like Texas and Missouri to resurrect the Comstock Act and bar the mailing of abortion pills and Republican efforts to undermine insurance coverage of IVF for military families.

Yet these struggles are very much connected.

Take the current fight over extending tax subsidies for the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Congressional Republicans are trying to add a poison pill to negotiations to ban any federal ACA dollars from being used to subsidize insurance plans that cover abortion. This would effectively extend the Hyde Amendment, which bars almost all federal dollars from being directly spent on abortion care, to any ACA marketplace plan that covers abortion at all. Many private insurance plans could soon follow.

Polls show the vast majority of Americans support access to abortion. But if congressional Republicans are comfortable pushing that kind of abortion restriction with only the slimmest of majorities, then it’s reasonable to think they’d barrel forward supporting a broader national abortion ban in 2026 should the GOP retain control of both the House and Senate.

Birthright citizenship and the push to rewrite the 14th Amendment

The Supreme Court announced on Dec. 5, 2025 that it will hear a challenge to President Trump’s birthright citizenship executive order in a case called Trump v. Barbara.

Birthright citizenship is the straightforward legal principle, guaranteed by the 14th Amendment of the Constitution, that grants every person born in the United States full U.S. citizenship. President Trump, via executive order, wants to deny that citizenship to babies born in the U.S. unless one of their parents is either a U.S. citizen or has permanent legal status.

The order also seeks to exclude citizenship to children born to parents on temporary work, student, or other visas.

So far, lower courts have repeatedly blocked the administration’s order. That could all change when the Supreme Court fully steps into this case in 2026.

I’m going to put this bluntly: The push to end birthright citizenship is a manufactured fight by conservative legal advocates and detailed in this sharp July 2025 takedown written by immigration and constitutional law scholars and published in the Cornell Law Review.

I won’t get into all the legal weeds on their arguments, but one point made by one of the authors, Evan Bernick, is worth underscoring here. He argues, in effect, that the “scholarship” supporting Trump’s challenge to birthright citizenship—whether presented in the form of law review articles, opinion pieces, or social media discourse—is manufactured to reverse-engineer a Supreme Court ruling in conservatives’ favor.

This is hardly a new tactic. It’s part-and-parcel part of the anti-choice playbook, as Imani Gandy and I discussed with Lourdes Rivera of Pregnancy Justice on our Boom! Lawyered podcast’s Summer Sessions. In it, we explain how we’ve seen conservatives use this tactic of manufacturing scholarship to craft policy outcomes through the courts—like the possible erasure of birthright citizenship—that they cannot enact via traditional democratic means.

Republicans have launched a project to redefine who the law considers to be a person and who it excludes by rewriting the 14th Amendment of the Constitution. This right-wing project in one breath declares that unborn fetuses should have full rights under the 14th Amendment, while babies born to parents on a student visa should not.

Of course, as the administration’s devastating ICE raids across the country have demonstrated time and again, U.S. citizenship is no guarantee that this government will recognize a person’s rights or autonomy if they happen to be Black, brown, or Indigenous.

Transgender athletes and who gets access to sports

On Jan. 13, 2026, the Supreme Court will hear arguments in two cases challenging laws in West Virginia and Idaho that categorically ban transgender women and girls from athletic programs based on their gender identity.

First is Little v. Hecox, a case brought by Lindsay Hecox, a transgender athlete who was banned under a 2020 Idaho law from trying out for and competing on the women’s track and cross-country teams at Boise State University. The law categorically bars transgender girls and women from participating in girls’ and women’s sports—at all ages and levels of competition. It also requires invasive testing—for example, a health-care provider examining a student’s reproductive anatomy—if an athlete’s sex is questioned.

She said she was moving to voluntarily dismiss her case in the lower court, expressed concerns over the intense public scrutiny surrounding the litigation, and pledged to not participate in women’s sports while in Idaho.

The justices declined to decide Hecox’s request until arguments on Jan. 13. compelling Hecox to stay in litigation. Despite her request to the contrary, the Court will rule on the constitutionality of the Idaho ban.

That same day, the justices will also hear arguments in West Virginia v. B.P.J., a case that challenges West Virginia’s categorical ban on allowing transgender girls to participate in girls and women’s sports from middle school through college.

West Virginia’s law was blocked in 2024, when the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals held that it does violate Title IX. West Virginia’s Republican Attorney General is appealing Pepper-Jackson’s win with the Supreme Court.

Though the justices will hear arguments in both of these cases in January, I do not expect a ruling on them until June, when the Court typically releases its highest-profile opinions.

And I’m not optimistic that the rulings, whenever they are released, will support the trans students who brought them. The Court’s conservative majority made its hostility to transgender minors apparent last June when it upheld Tennessee’s ban on gender-affirming care in United States v. Skrmetti.

Similar to the death-by-a-thousand-cuts strategy the anti-choice movement applied to undermining abortion rights before reversing them all together in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the anti-trans movement is targeting minors’ rights first then applying those restrictions to adults as well.

That familiar playbook will be transparently evident should the Court rule against Hecox and Pepper-Jackson later this summer.

These cases are by no means the only threats to democracy Republicans have teed up for the conservative justices at the Court. But they are among the most dire. If the Supreme Court hands the Trump administration and its Republican allies wins in each of them, the damage to democracy and human rights will take lifetimes to repair.

The post These Four Supreme Court Cases Could Upend U.S. Democracy and Human Rights (Opinion) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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I met Abi last year at a time when I wasn’t even searching for love. She took my number from her brother’s phone, and that was how we started talking. She was 24. I was 31. And Abi… Abi was beautiful in a quiet, innocent way. The kind of girl you protect. The kind of girl you don’t want to spoil. She fell in love with me first, and I won’t lie, it felt good. It felt like I had finally met someone who saw me differently.

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It was a long-distance relationship. We met in Accra when she came to stay briefly with her brother. He was overprotective, so most of our conversations happened only when she got back to school. Still, we grew close. Close enough that when I proposed, she said yes. Close enough that when I told her that proving her love meant giving me her virginity, she gave it to me wholeheartedly.

I met her family. They welcomed me, told me she was their jewel, and begged me to take care of her. I took her home too. My family loved her. And for a moment, I thought this story had already written its happy ending.

Then January came.

She sent me a screenshot of a conversation with her friend’s boss. He was inviting her to a church program. In their chat, he asked for her picture. After she sent one, he asked for more. Abi replied, “I will flood your phone with my pictures till your storage gets full.”

I’m a man. I know when another man has spotted a prey. And I know when a woman is giving him an open door. I confronted her. I asked her whether she was desperate for attention. “Cut him off,” I warned her.

She pretended to listen to me but things only got worse between us. Her messages became dry. Her calls became short. The girl who used to talk to me for five hours suddenly had nothing to say for one minute. I tried to talk to her about it. She responded with indirect insults. It shook me. In almost two years, I had never seen that side of her.

Then her brother called me.

He said his sister had been seeing a guy who picked her up every Sunday morning for church and brought her home at 10:30 pm… sometimes 11 pm. He came to the house on weekdays. When he mentioned the guy’s name, it was the same man I told her to avoid.

Her friend—the one who introduced her boss to Abi—left the church and even resigned from the job because the same boss was dating her until Abi came into the picture. She told me she had warned Abi that the man was a flirt. Abi didn’t listen. Instead, she told him everything her friend confided in her.

Abi’s mother stepped in and settled things. I asked her to come to Accra so we could talk and try again. She postponed it to February. February to March. March to April. Always pushing me away gently, like someone packing a suitcase but pretending they aren’t leaving.

During Easter break, I travelled to Kumasi. We planned to spend three days together. She came for only one night. She arrived dressed differently. She wore a scarf on her head, and a long straight dress, which gave her the look of someone who had been attending a church she claimed not to go to.

I checked her phone. She had cleared her chats and call logs. But WhatsApp call history doesn’t lie. Video calls. Audio calls. And the painful part? She was the one calling him more than he called her.

I asked her what exactly this man meant to her. She said she calls him whenever she reads the Bible and needs clarification.

The next day she went to “church” and said she would come to my place afterwards. She never came. Her family called me, asking why their daughter wasn’t answering her phone. I wasn’t shocked. I had already accepted that she could lie with ease, even to people she claimed to love.

When she finally returned home, she faced a family meeting. Her father asked her to quit the church. She refused. He asked her to choose between the church and her family. She said she wouldn’t choose. The man said he would go to the church himself and ask them if salvation now includes kissing people’s daughters and asking them for nudes.

Still, she didn’t choose me. That is what haunts me.

Why would a woman throw away almost two years of love, loyalty, and investment… for a man she just met? A man who never proposed. A man she pursued. A man living in a mission house, raised by a pastor. Why?

I set her up after nursing school. I supported her. I was there in ways that drained me. And after everything exploded, she didn’t call. Not even once. It took five days for her to send a long apology on WhatsApp. I read it and left it there. She sent another one. Same response.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

What do I have to say to her? She chose her path. I am just wondering if giving her virginity to me was of no value to her. Well… I can only wish her well. It is well with me as well.

—Nubi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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I don’t know if I’m overreacting or finally seeing the truth, but everything in me is beginning to fear the woman I’m dating. We’ve been together barely a year, yet I’ve seen enough to question whether she’s someone I can build a future with. It’s not her beauty, her behaviour, or her attitude that scares me. It’s her stinginess. And maybe “stingy” is even a polite word for what she does.

Since we started dating, I’ve been the only one planning dates and trips because according to her, “It’s your money so you should decide where to spend it.” At first, I laughed and thought she was joking. But it became a pattern. I would buy her thoughtful gifts hoping she’d one day surprise me with something too. Instead, anytime she wanted to “buy” me something, she would only show me a picture of it and say, “Don’t you think this would look nice on you?” If I said yes, she would follow with, “Then give me money let me buy it for you.” How does someone claim to love you yet refuse to spend even a little on you?

She’s not broke. She earns well enough to buy a GHC1,000 gift if she wants to. But it’s like her money is holy and my money is public property.

The day I lost my Apple Watch during a trip with her was the day I realized just how far she could go. I was really worried because I had bought that watch only a few months earlier. She touched my shoulder and said, “Don’t worry. I will buy some for you.” I was shocked. Something in me wanted to believe she truly cared. A week later, she sent me a photo of the Apple Watch online and asked, “Is this the one you lost?” When I confirmed, she said, “It’s expensive o. Why don’t you pay half and I also pay half?”

I didn’t argue. I just paid my half. Only for her to show up with a fake, cheap knockoff watch. She used my money to buy nonsense and pocketed the rest. When I confronted her, she said, “It looks the same. No one will know unless you tell them.”

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

That day, anger pushed me to go into her purse. I took everything I saw to cover my loss. She’s now angry and acting like I’m the villain.

But how do you stay with a woman who won’t spend on you, who manipulates you financially, and who steals from you with a straight face? People say a woman in love spends on her man. This one? She spends my money on herself and calls it love.

Isn’t this enough reason to walk away before she finishes me completely?

—Mavin

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*****

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From the very first day I met Afi, there was something soft and fragile about her spirit. She wasn’t the type who rushed into things or jumped into love with open arms. For over three months I chased her, called her, sent her messages, visited her, and gave her every reason to trust me. But she kept saying one thing over and over, almost like a warning carved deep into her mind: “You love me now, but once you get to know me, I know you won’t love me again.” I thought she was only afraid of heartbreak. I had no idea it was something more. Something that had chased away every man before me.

When she finally said yes, you would think everything would become easy, but it didn’t. After another three months of dating, she still would not sleep at my place. We could sit together until 3am, talking about dreams, childhood memories, and what we wanted in life. But the moment I suggested she should sleep over, even when I promised not to touch her, she would pack her bag, call a taxi, and vanish into the night. I didn’t understand. I thought maybe she was shy, or maybe her parents wanted her home early, but even that didn’t make sense because she stayed out late with me anyway.

One night, after begging her again to stay and watching her still prepare to leave, I got frustrated and locked the door. I told her she wouldn’t die if she slept over, and she should stop the unnecessary fear. I slept in the hall and gave her the bedroom, thinking that would make her feel safe. At dawn, a strange sound woke me. Water running, clothes being scrubbed. I rushed to the bathroom and there she was, washing the bedsheet. The moment I stepped closer, the smell hit me. Her eyes told me everything before she opened her mouth. Afi was a bedwetter.

“Is this what you’ve been hiding?” I asked softly. “Is this what made you think I’ll stop loving you?” She nodded slowly, ashamed, her head down like a child caught doing something wrong. She couldn’t even speak. I washed with her, and reassured her. That day, I promised to help her seek proper medical care. But Afi had her own ideas.

She told me about a herbal doctor she had heard on radio who claims he can cure anything, from spiritual attacks to addiction to bedwetting. She insisted we should go there. I didn’t believe in the place, but she begged so much that I allowed myself to follow her. We paid over GHC1,200 for one month’s treatment. But halfway through, she stopped using the medicine. “I don’t see any improvement,” she told me. “Why should I continue?”

I begged her to complete the full month so we could go back for the follow-up. She refused. Instead, she started sleeping with a huge rubber sheet under the bedsheet anytime she visited. Watching her do that broke me. I wanted her to find healing. I wanted our future to be free from fear and shame. But instead of trying the hospital or a specialist, she said something that crushed me even more: “It’s not medical. It’s spiritual. My family witches don’t want me to have a good marriage.”

From there, everything went downhill. She would stay up all night joining online prayer sessions. She paid pastors for “direction”, bought oils, sowed seeds, joined fasting programs, and still nothing changed. She would do anything except seek medical help. Anything except listen to logic.

Now I’ve stopped inviting her to spend the night. Not because I don’t care, but because I am tired. She says I am giving up on her. That I promised her undying love and now I’m withdrawing. But I’m human. How can I love someone more than they love themselves? How can I fight for someone who won’t even meet me halfway? I’ve tried, but she’s pushing me away with her refusal to embrace real help.

She is genuinely a good woman. Sweet, loving, humble. But even in the daytime, she sometimes pees on herself. She tells me she doesn’t feel the urge until the urine is already at the edge. She says her body betrays her without warning. And all I see is someone who needs a hospital. Someone who needs science. Someone who needs professional care. But she sees demons and witches instead.

I am worn out. Emotionally. Mentally. Even spiritually. I want to stay, but I am breaking. I want to help her, but I am drowning in the process. Part of me wonders if I’m a terrible person for thinking of leaving. Another part asks if I’m foolish for staying when every other man before me quietly walked away.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

So is it my fault if I leave? Am I wicked for wanting her to try what will work?Love alone cannot fix everything. Prayers work but there’s science for a reason. Afi won’t listen to me but will listen to a pastor who promises to have heard from God. I am tired for holding on to a woman who refuses to hold on to herself but also can’t leave because it feels like I’m breaking a promise I made to her.

—Eugene

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

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Federal health officials shook up longstanding childhood immunization guidance on Dec. 5, leaving decisions about when and whether to vaccinate infants for hepatitis B to parents and health-care providers.

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The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) expert panel determined that the vaccine, a three-shot series that previously included a dose at birth, is effectively discretionary.

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The panel previously recommended a newborn dose of the vaccine—regardless of the birth parent’s hepatitis B status—followed by a second dose between 1 and 2 months of age. A final dose was recommended between 6 and 18 months of age.

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The new guidance also says that infants who are not vaccinated at birth but whose parents wish to vaccinate them eventually should not receive their first inoculation against hepatitis B until they are at least 2 months old. The CDC continues to recommend that children born to a hepatitis B-positive parent—or to a parent whose hepatitis B status is unknown—be vaccinated at birth.

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The panel also voted to alter existing guidelines in a way that calls into question whether all children need the full three-dose series of the hepatitis B vaccines. The new guidance recommends that parents consult with providers to decide whether to test for hepatitis B immunity levels before proceeding with a second or third dose of the vaccine. Several participants at the meeting, including a CDC expert, expressed concern that scientific data does not support this approach.

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The recommendations will become final once adopted by the CDC director.

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Why vaccinate newborns for hepatitis B?

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The two-day meeting of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) held on Dec. 4 and 5, 2025—which included heated arguments among panelists and outside experts over some members’ unsupported beliefs about vaccination—multiple panelists suggested that the hepatitis B vaccine poses significant health and safety risks to newborns. But the available science shows the opposite is true.

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Inoculation right after birth “maximizes the effectiveness of the vaccine in preventing newborn infection,” according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

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Hepatitis B is transmitted through blood and sexual fluids, and can spread from a pregnant person to their infant both in utero and during childbirth. If untreated, the inflammation caused by chronic hepatitis B infection can lead to scarring of the liver that causes the organ to fail.

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People infected at birth with chronic hepatitis B who never received treatment face up to a 25 percent lifetime risk of developing liver cancer, according to the Hepatitis B Foundation. Those infected with hepatitis B face up to a 4 percent annual risk of liver cancer, depending on whether they have cirrhosis.

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Endangering public health gains of last 34 years

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Before 1991, when the U.S. launched a vaccination program designed to stamp out hepatitis B infections acquired during pregnancy and childbirth, roughly 18,000 to 20,000 babies were diagnosed each year, said Dr. James Campbell, the vice chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ committee on infectious diseases. Today, only 20 to 30 are.

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Most hepatitis B infections can be linked to a specific risk factor, like intravenous drug use, sex with an infected person, or being born to a hepatitis B-positive individual. But up to one-third can’t be, Campbell said.

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“We don’t know where everybody gets it from,” Campbell added. “Giving all babies the vaccine protects them from both known and unknown risks for getting hepatitis B.”

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The panel is also expected to debate the remainder of the childhood vaccine schedule on Dec. 5. ACIP already altered federal vaccine guidance for measles, mumps, rubella, varicella, and COVID-19, in September 2025.

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Editor’s note: This is an updated and condensed version of a story originally published on Sept. 19, 2025.

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The post CDC Committee Changes Newborn Hepatitis B Vaccine Guidance appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "CDC, Committee, Changes, Newborn, Hepatitis, Vaccine, Guidance", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "44", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/shutterstock_2416028877-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/12/05/vaccine-cdc-hepatitis-b-acip/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 10:04:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "127171", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Anti-Abortion Pregnancy Centers Take Case Against New Jersey to U.S. Supreme Court", "title_slug": "anti-abortion-pregnancy-centers-take-case-against-new-jersey-to-us-supreme-court", "title_hash": "fafaf34921a91a8926bb73bcf80fc0e5", "summary": "A decision is expected by the summer.\nThe post Anti-Abortion Pregnancy Centers Take Case Against New Jersey to U.S. Supreme Court appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

New Jersey officials’ three-year effort to investigate a network of Christian anti-abortion pregnancy centers accused of using deceptive practices landed before the U.S. Supreme Court on Dec. 2, 2025, when justices heard arguments over the narrow jurisdictional question of whether the case belongs in state or federal court.

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Since 2023, lawyers for First Choice Women’s Resource Centers have been fighting a subpoena New Jersey Attorney General Matt Platkin issued for a wide array of the nonprofit’s records and communications, including donors’ names.

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In New Jersey, state courts have the power to handle subpoena disputes. But First Choice sued in federal court to block enforcement, saying that the subpoena unconstitutionally chills its free-speech and free-association rights and that federal courts should decide constitutional challenges.

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On Dec. 2, First Choice’s attorney Erin Morrow Hawley urged the justices to protect donor privacy, consider Platkin’s motives, and consider his “coercive” subpoena a violation of the First Amendment. Such a ruling would reverse earlier decisions by a U.S. federal judge and a federal appeals panel that the case should remain in state court, at least until a state judge decides whether First Choice’s noncompliance warrants sanctions.

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“The attorney general of New Jersey issued a sweeping subpoena commanding—on pain of contempt—that First Choice produced donor names, addresses, and phone numbers so his office could contact and question them,” said Hawley, adding, “This is the context of a hostile attorney general who has issued a consumer alert, urged New Jerseyans to beware of pregnancy centers, and assembled a strike force against them.”

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Hawley is a former law clerk of Chief Justice John Roberts. Vivek Suri, assistant to the Solicitor General in the U.S. Department of Justice, joined Hawley in arguing on First Choice’s behalf, saying people with a constitutional challenge always have standing in federal court.

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Sundeep Iyer, the New Jersey Attorney General Platkin’s chief counsel, warned that restricting constitutional challenges solely to federal judges would clog the courts and represent “a pretty dramatic sea change in historical practice.” Platkin’s office alone has issued more than 500 subpoenas this year to people and companies it’s investigating, while Google got about 50,000 subpoenas last year, Iyer added.

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“State and local governments issue tens of thousands of subpoenas every year, but the federal government’s theory would risk turning many of these ordinary subpoena disputes into federal cases,” Iyer said. “Even without a First Amendment claim, that would be a remarkable break from history and tradition. No court has accepted that theory, and this court should not be the first.”

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The case made for unusual allies, with groups like the American Civil Liberties Union and the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression siding with the Alliance Defending Freedom, the Christian legal advocacy group where Hawley works. In an August 2025 amicus brief, the ACLU and the foundation fretted about “censorship by intimidation” and warned that authorities of all political persuasions increasingly are using their powers, including subpoenas, to squelch disfavored speech as society grows more polarized.

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Over 90 minutes of arguments Dec. 2, both sides strayed far from the jurisdictional issue and the justices peppered attorneys with a steady stream of questions.

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The justices mulled the purpose of New Jersey Attorney General Platkin’s request for donor details (to see if donors thought their contributions were going to an abortion-rights group) and whether compliance with subpoenas is mandatory (no, unless a judge orders compliance). The jurists also debated the “degree of chill” that might deter donors and if a letter of request instead of a subpoena would have sparked the same court fight.

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They wrangled with whether the mere receipt of a subpoena can cause “imminent injury” or pose a “credible threat,” if courts have not yet sanctioned—and might not ever—a noncompliant recipient. First Choice attorneys argued that they suffered harms in the cost of the legal fight, anticipated losses of charitable contributions from donors who fear public disclosure, and possible regulatory retaliation if they don’t comply with the subpoena. New Jersey Attorney General Platkin’s team had called claims of such harms speculative.

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Some justices’ opinions seemed clear in their questioning.

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Justice Clarence Thomas asked Iyer whether investigators had received any reports of deceptive practices by First Choice, and Iyer conceded they had not.

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“You say you have no complaints. But rather you looked at the website and their materials, and you think it could have been misleading,” Thomas said.

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Subpoenaing donor information “just seems to be a burdensome way to find out whether someone has a confusing website,” he added.

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Tax law requires charitable organizations to identify major donors in tax filings in order to retain their tax-exempt status. That law also is being challenged in federal court in Ohio.

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Hawley urged the justices to reject Iyer’s claim that subpoenas are voluntary, negotiable, and not intimidating.

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Subpoenas “would terrify normal donors, mom-and-pop donors,” Hawley said. “If you look at the allegations in this case, some donors gave as little as $10. Those folks are going to be worried about a state attorney general, the highest law enforcement officer in the country, demanding their names, phone numbers, addresses, places of employment so that he can contact them about a donor website.”

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First Choice has five centers in Jersey City, Montclair, Morristown, Newark, and New Brunswick, New Jersey.

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A decision is expected by the summer.

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This story was originally reported by Dana DiFilippo for the New Jersey Monitor on Dec. 2, 2025. New Jersey Monitor is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. New Jersey Monitor maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Terrence T. McDonald for questions: info@newjerseymonitor.com.

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The post Anti-Abortion Pregnancy Centers Take Case Against New Jersey to U.S. Supreme Court appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Anti-Abortion, Pregnancy, Centers, Take, Case, Against, New, Jersey, U.S., Supreme, Court", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/NJ-to-US-Supreme-Court-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/12/05/anti-abortion-pregnancy-centers-take-case-against-new-jersey-to-u-s-supreme-court/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 10:04:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126842", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex After 50: What the Research Says", "title_slug": "sex-after-50-what-the-research-says", "title_hash": "de41885a759c132ba2d33033c5e212b1", "summary": "There are benefits to staying sexually active as you age. Learn the barriers to sex after 50 and strategies to improve your connection.\nThe post Sex After 50: What the Research Says appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

There are benefits to staying sexually active as you age. Learn the barriers to sex after 50 and strategies to improve your connection.

The post Sex After 50: What the Research Says appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Sex, After, 50:, What, the, Research, Says", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/GettyImages-1188887827.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/stay-sexually-active-as-you-age/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:45:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126729", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Things to AVOID to Not End Up \"Jaded About\" Women & Love", "title_slug": "9-things-to-avoid-to-not-end-up-jaded-about-women-love", "title_hash": "a189eca8c4acab221e83c3a3da56b521", "summary": "Many men end up jaded about women. What they don’t realize is they walked INTO their jading. Avoid these 9 things & you’ll avoid jading yourself on girls.\n\nContents\n1. Why NOT Be Jaded?\n2. How AWALT Jades Men\n3. 9 Things to Avoid\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ Many men end up jaded about women. What they don’t realize is they walked INTO their jading. Avoid these 9 things & you’ll avoid jading yourself on girls.

Contents

1. Why NOT Be Jaded?

2. How AWALT Jades Men

3. 9 Things to Avoid

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Things, AVOID, Not, End, Jaded, About, Women, Love", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/jaded-about-women-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/9-things-avoid-not-end-jaded-about-women-love", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:38:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126730", "lang_id": "1", "title": "[VIDEOS] When She's Into You, Escalation Ladders, & Good Vibe on Approach", "title_slug": "videos-when-shes-into-you-escalation-ladders-good-vibe-on-approach", "title_hash": "f203f6672c869255df34667d3b65190c", "summary": "If you haven’t kept tabs on GirlsChase.TV (or the YouTube channel, where 2 out of 3 of these are also posted), let me rope you in on the latest video content.\nAfter something of a hiatus, I am back creating video content. I’d like to be getting a video a week out… we’ll see how realistic that is though! (I am a bit slammed.)\nAnyway, here’re our three latest videos, now live on GirlsChase.TV.\n \n\n\n", "content": "

If you haven’t kept tabs on GirlsChase.TV (or the YouTube channel, where 2 out of 3 of these are also posted), let me rope you in on the latest video content.

After something of a hiatus, I am back creating video content. I’d like to be getting a video a week out… we’ll see how realistic that is though! (I am a bit slammed.)

Anyway, here’re our three latest videos, now live on GirlsChase.TV.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "VIDEOS, When, Shes, Into, You, Escalation, Ladders, Good, Vibe, Approach", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/videos-when-shes-you-escalation-ladders-good-vibe-approach", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:38:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126728", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Lower STI Transmission Risk With a Positive Partner", "title_slug": "how-to-lower-sti-transmission-risk-with-a-positive-partner", "title_hash": "1c0206b82268789b80a6a8b2fd17fbbe", "summary": "So Your Crush Has a Sexually Transmitted Infection. Here’s What You Should Know", "content": "In the past decade or so, sex educators have sought to shift the way people think about sexually transmitted diseases.\nFor starters, we don’t call them STDs anymore, we call them STIs, or, sexually transmitted infections. It’s a subtle shift meant to denote that these are conditions that can be passed from person to person, but not necessarily long-lasting or life-altering ones, which the word disease may connote. Further, calling them infections can help people see them as more akin to colds or flus — not necessarily fraught with the moral baggage they used to carry. \nFor lots of people, and for many STIs, the process from infection to treatment to recovery can be a fairly straightforward medical process, not freighted with the burden of sexual shame and regret that STIs had long been associated with.\nRELATED: What to Do When You Have a Sexually Transmitted Infection\nAs such, the stigma for people with infections has lessened significantly. And thankfully, they can go about their lives (romantic, sexual, or otherwise) without as much fear of judgment, rejection, and isolation.\nBut what happens if you want to sleep with someone and find out they have an STI? \nSexual health advice given to young people focuses around risk mitigation when you cannot be sure that a given sexual partner does not have a given infection. But what about when you’re sure that they do? Is it possible to have no-risk sex by taking the appropriate steps? \nIn order to get a better handle on this question, AskMen spoke to a number of experts in the field. Here’s what they had to say:\n\nHaving Sex With Someone With an STI\n\nWhile it may not be possible to be 100% confident that sex with an STI-positive partner won’t lead to transmission, to some degree, the same issue exists when having sex with someone whose STI status you don’t know (or who you believe to be STI-free). \nMany people who think they don’t have an STI are mistaken, and some people who do have one and know it may lie about it. Unless someone tells you they’re positive, sex is an exercise in trust; on the other hand, knowing someone has an STI removes that guessing game from the equation. \nRELATED: How to Tell a Partner You Have an STI\nSo, if you decide to proceed, sex with someone who has an STI becomes a question of risk minimization and mitigation while also navigating the other basics when it comes to sex: desire, boundaries, consent, and comfort. \n“There are a lot of things you can do to reduce risk of transmission when one partner has an STI but the other does not,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Lovehoney Scientific Advisor and Kinsey Institute Researcher. “Condoms can significantly lower the risk of transmitting most infections, but there are many other tools that can assist in further lowering risk.”\nWhile condoms are an important tool in the toolbox of preventing STI transmission, unfortunately wearing a condom alone won’t offer you 100% protection. \n“It's possible to have sex with someone with an STI without catching it, though there will always be a risk,” says Vicki, sexual wellness expert at Bodyjoys. “The most common preventatives are thick condoms or dental dams. However, some of the most contagious STIs such as herpes and syphilis can even be transmitted whilst wearing these, because they can be transmitted from skin-on-skin contact in the surrounding area not covered by the condom.”\nThat reality is one of the reasons that sexual health experts don’t use the term “safe sex” anymore, but instead, “safer sex.” \nUnfortunately, “there is always a risk of contracting a STI if having sex with an infected partner,” says Rhiannon John, sexologist at Bedbible.com. “As there are many variables, it's always best practice to speak to your healthcare professional about your individual needs to protect yourself and your partner.”\nRELATED: Safer Sex Mistakes That Can Lead to STIs\nThat being said, having sex with an STI-positive partner isn’t a completely unique form of risk-taking behavior. \n“It’s also worth noting that that risk is inherent to all activities and interactions,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “When you eat, you could potentially come into contact with bacteria that can lead to infections. When you socialize, you could (and will) come into contact with viruses.”\n“In some cases, testing and treating for STIs is, in fact, simpler than dealing with colds and flus, but we treat STIs as unduly catastrophic due to sexual shame,” she adds. \nRELATED: What Is Sex Negativity and Why Is It a Harmful Concept? \nWhile the possibility of transmission may make things more complicated, it also means there’s room for more experimentation, rather than relying on traditional sexual scripts. \n“It takes a bit of strategy, honesty, and a little creativity in the bedroom,” says Emily May, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and writer for Private Sugar Club. “This is one of those topics I talk about all the time with clients who come to me worried about their sex life after contracting an STI.”\n\nStrategies for Minimizing Transmission Risk\n\nExplore Your Medical Options\nIf the person you want to sleep with is able to, numerous medications may help reduce the transmissibility of their infection — and certain medical treatments could make you more immune to catching it. \n“If you have an STI, managing your infection may help reduce the risk of transmission, depending on your STI,” says John. “It’s always best to speak to your healthcare provider to assess your individual circumstances.”\n“Depending on the infection, you might also explore other tools like PrEP for HIV prevention, vaccines for hepatitis and HPV, or DoxyPep for preventing bacterial infections,” says Lehmiller. “For example, in the case of HIV, if the infection is effectively managed (i.e., viral load is suppressed to undetectable levels) and the HIV-negative partner is on PrEP, the risk of transmission is near zero.” \n“Likewise, if one partner has HPV but the other does not, the uninfected partner can lower their risk by getting the HPV vaccine,” he adds. “Further, if one partner has herpes, they can reduce risk of transmission by taking anti-viral medication and by avoiding sexual activity during outbreaks.”\nTalk About It\n“Having sex with a partner who has an STI is based on trust, more than usual,” says May. “It's up to them to explain the nature of their STI and full transparency of where and how it can be contracted. There's a lot more at stake, so it's important to educate yourself and not engage until you're fully informed and understand all of the risks involved.”\nWant to know more about this and other aspects of sexual health? Lehmiller recommends checking out Lovehoney’s STI Education guide. \nHowever, being prepared and aware of the risks involved doesn’t mean things can’t stay sexy. \n“Talk about your concerns, so that all parties involved feel equipped to reduce risk. And focus on pleasure,” says O’Reilly. “Chip away at sexual shame. The shame of STIs is often considered the most difficult symptom to treat.”\nAvoiding Unprotected Oral\nLots of people see oral sex as a ‘lesser’ form of sex compared to vaginal or anal penetration, and following that thinking, they may imagine that it’s also less risky when it comes to STI transmission — but that’s not the case. \n“What you should not do is engage in [unprotected] oral sex, something many people think is safe but actually isn’t,” says licensed sexologist Sofie Roos. “Almost all STIs can transmit via oral sex.”\nDepending on the STI in question and its relative transmissibility, using a condom or a dental dam can significantly reduce the risk, however, possibly down to near-zero. \nOn the flip side, however, some people may find that barrier protection methods impact the experience of oral sex more than penetrative sex — but that’s a question of personal preference.\nGet Tested\n“First, know your status by getting tested regularly and communicate about this with your partners,” says Lehmiller. \nIf you have contracted an STI from a partner, catching it before symptoms start showing, via testing, is the best way to prevent further spread — as well as giving you a chance to treat it yourself before its effects worsen. \n“If an STI can be treated, consider taking meds to reduce viral load and outbreaks,” says O’Reilly. “If an STI can be cured (e.g. chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and trichomoniasis), you can take antibiotics.”\n\nLower-Risk Alternatives to Penetrative Sex\n\nIn some cases, someone’s STI status may mean that penetrative sex just doesn’t make sense for you, even factoring condom use and other preventative approaches. While that can be disappointing, it doesn’t mean that you can’t explore any kind of erotic connection in person. \nA number of options exist that either significantly lower or remove the danger of transmission entirely, largely in the realm of things that fall under the umbrella of non-penetrative sex, or outercourse. \nHand Play\n“There are so many ways to keep things sexy without worrying about STI transmission,” says Emily May. “Manual stimulation, for example, is highly underrated.”\n“Using your hands reduces the risk of fluid exchange, which can reduce the risk of transmission of STIs that require fluids to enter the bloodstream for transmission,” says O’Reilly. \nActivities like vaginal fingering, anal fingering and handjobs can be a fun, lower-risk option in that case. \n“Non-penetrative sex can potentially reduce infection risk,” Lehmiller agrees. “However, it depends what you do with your hands. For example, if you touch your partner's genitals with your hands and then touch your own, you’re still creating opportunities for infections to spread.”\nUsing medical gloves could be an option here, however — like a condom or dental dam for your hands. \nRELATED: Common Condom Mistakes \n“One couple I worked with got really into exploring touch in ways they hadn’t before,” says May. “Gloves and dental dams both allow you to stimulate your partner safely. It's a little underrated but versatile. These tools don’t just reduce risk; they can add some playful curiosity to your sex life.”\nThis is a great approach “for STIs that are transmitted through bodily fluids like blood and semen,” says John. “STIs like gonorrhea are transmitted through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex. So sexual practices outside of those, like manual stimulation, will greatly reduce the risk of transmission.”\nHowever, Roos says, “STIs that still can transmit via sexual stimulation that’s not involving penetration are herpes, syphilis, HPV and scabies.”\nMutual Masturbation\nWhat about both of you pleasuring yourselves, rather than each other, simultaneously? \n“Mutual masturbation as an alternative can lower the risk of transmitting an STI in certain cases,” says Vicki. \nShe notes that you can use sex toys in this case — but that sharing sex toys could lead to transmission, so you should each stick to your own. \n“For the truly risk-averse, mutual masturbation can be incredibly intimate,” May agrees. “Adding intense eye contact during that moment can crank up the connection like nothing else. Add in a little dirty talk, and you might not even miss the penetration.”\nNipple Play\nStimulating non-genital erogenous zones, like the nipples, neck and ears, is generally safe, says Roos. Here, too, this could be paired with dirty talk to help make the moment feel more erotic. \nRELATED: How to Play With Her Breasts\nDry Humping \n“You might also decide to avoid certain activities that are higher risk,” says Lehmiller. “There are all kinds of ways to be sexual and intimate without penetration,” he says, including the infamous act of dry humping, or grinding your genitals against each other while still wearing clothes.\nWhile this is often associated with young or inexperienced lovers who aren’t yet ready for ‘full penetration,’ it can be an incredibly intimate and sexy form of foreplay as you build sexual tension without reaching a conclusion. Dry humping for a bit followed by a mutual masturbation session? Low risk, high reward. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nThe Best Proven At-Home STI Test KitsWhat Are Sexual Boundaries?Here’s What It’s Like to Take a Home STI Test", "keywords": "How, Lower, STI, Transmission, Risk, With, Positive, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-health/how-to-lower-sti-transmission-risk-with-a-positive-partner/askmen-lead-image-2x1-63-1764777777.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-health/how-to-lower-sti-transmission-risk-with-a-positive-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:38:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126727", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Workout for Bigger Arms", "title_slug": "best-workout-for-bigger-arms", "title_hash": "7e077529c06e0ec3eecf269d9cca881b", "summary": "You want bigger arms. And why not?\nWhile a 500-pound squat or 315-pound power clean may be more impressive to experienced lifters, nothing beats a set of beefy triceps and muscular biceps to make a striking first impression. They’re classic trademarks of a strong and capable man. No wonder guys love training them.\nBut how many are getting the results they seek? Because for all the bicep and tricep exercises being performed every day (not to mention the thousands of arm-training workouts available), you’d think there would be a lot more overstretched shirtsleeves. So what’s the problem?\nFor most guys, the biggest stumbling block is time. Not many have over ten hours a week to dedicate to the gym. Fact is, the average guy is lucky to squeeze in just three, one-hour sessions a week (four if he’s really lucky).\nRELATED: 10 Best Exercises for Bigger Biceps\nAnd those precious few gym hours can’t just be for arm training – try chest, back, shoulders, legs, core, AND arms. And maybe a little c", "content": "You want bigger arms. And why not?\nWhile a 500-pound squat or 315-pound power clean may be more impressive to experienced lifters, nothing beats a set of beefy triceps and muscular biceps to make a striking first impression. They’re classic trademarks of a strong and capable man. No wonder guys love training them.\nBut how many are getting the results they seek? Because for all the bicep and tricep exercises being performed every day (not to mention the thousands of arm-training workouts available), you’d think there would be a lot more overstretched shirtsleeves. So what’s the problem?\nFor most guys, the biggest stumbling block is time. Not many have over ten hours a week to dedicate to the gym. Fact is, the average guy is lucky to squeeze in just three, one-hour sessions a week (four if he’s really lucky).\nRELATED: 10 Best Exercises for Bigger Biceps\nAnd those precious few gym hours can’t just be for arm training – try chest, back, shoulders, legs, core, AND arms. And maybe a little cardio and calves for good measure.\nFor that reason, most take the sensible route and focus on big multi-joint exercises like presses, squats, deadlifts, and chin-ups, and hope the arms get some indirect stimulation along the way.\nThis practice is called training economy and it’s smart from both a programming and time management perspective. When funds are limited, you want investments that offer the biggest return.\nIt works because the body tends to grow best in proportion — how many 160-pound guys with legs like matchsticks do you see sporting 19-inch pythons? Getting stronger in the big movements that recruit a lot of muscles (bench press, chin-ups, dips, rows, shoulder press, squats, and deadlifts) just makes sense.\nBut the truth is, most guys need both basic multi-joint work and direct isolation work to get anywhere near their arm size potential.\nAccording to fitness expert Brad Schoenfeld, you can thank basic physiology: The length/tension relationship of the biceps and triceps is suboptimal during multi-joint movements. So you can’t fully develop the upper arm musculature just through variations of presses and chins. \nYou need to include some isolation work — specifically exercises that change the position of the upper arm in relation to the torso — such as incline curls for the biceps (elbows positioned behind the body to target more of the long head of the bicep) and overhead tricep extensions (elbows positioned overhead to work the long head of the tricep).\nThe good news? You don’t need extra hours in the gym or an all-out “gun show day.” It’s all in the programming.\n\nHow This Workout Works\n\nThis workout assumes that you have three days a week to train and that, like any smart lifter, you want to make improvements to your whole body.\nBut it also assumes that bigger arms are on your personal meathead bucket list and that you’d be willing to forgo perfectly “balanced” training for a little while if it meant looking better in a tank top.\n\nThe Workout\n\nNote: If alternating numbered exercises (A1 & A2), rest about 90 seconds between each set. If performing the workout in straight sets, just rest around 2-3 minutes between bigger lifts, and around 90 seconds between smaller exercises.\nDay 1: Monday\nA1) Back Squats – 3 x 3-5\nA2) Lying Leg Curl – 3 x 3-5\nB1) Mid Grip Bench Press — 3 x 5\nB2) Medium Grip Palms Facing Chin Up — 3 x 5\nC1) Overhead DB Triceps Extension — 3 x 6-8\nC2) DB Hammer Curl – 3 x 6-8\nD1) Wrist Curl with Barbell – 2 x 12\nD2) Barbell Rollouts – 2 x 12\nDay 2: Wednesday\nA1) Trap Bar Deadlift – 3 x 6-8\nA2) DB Split Squat – 3 x 6-8\nB1) Seated DB Shoulder Press, Neutral Grip — 3 x 8-10\nB2) Chest Supported Row — 3 x 8-10\nC1) 45-degree Incline DB Tricep Extension — 3 x 10-12\nC2) 45-degree Incline DB Bicep Curl – 3 x 10-12\nD1) Reverse Wrist Curl with EZ bar – 2 x 12-15\nD2) Reverse Crunch – 2 x 12-15\nDay 3: Friday\nA) Leg Press – 3 x 10-12\nB1) Back Extension – 3 x 12-15\nB2) Leg Extension – 3 x 15-20\nC1) Slight Incline DB Press, Neutral Grip — 3 x 12-15\nC2) Seated Rope Row To Neck — 3 x 12-15\nD1) Rope Tricep Pushdown — 3 x 12-15\nD2) Machine Preacher Bicep Curl – 3 x 12-15\nE) DB Farmers walks with 50% of bodyweight per DB — 5 x 20 yards\n\nPutting It All Together\n\n\n\tGet strong everywhere – squatting and deadlifting, but especially pushing and pulling. \n\tAdd in a variety of arm isolation exercises, ideally ones that change the position of the upper arm in relation to the torso.\n\tEmphasize good form and feeling the muscle work. While you should always try to lift more weight or do more reps, there are no prizes for the heaviest “cheat tricep pushdown.”\n\tEat! Determine your maintenance calories and add an extra 200-400 quality calories a day to your daily intake.\n\nStop lying to yourself that big arms aren’t important to you. You know you want bigger guns, and the answer isn’t marathon workouts or making the gym your second home. Just follow the above program for six weeks and watch your sleeves get a little tighter.\nBryan Krahn, CSCS, is a personal trainer, online coach, and fitness writer. He helps ordinary guys get what they really want from their fitness programs — to build muscle, lose fat, and feel great. He blogs about muscle, manhood, and lifestyle at bryankrahn.com . You can follow him on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. \nYou Might Also Dig: \nTop 10 Tricep ExercisesBest Leg Workouts for Men5 Stretches All Men Over 30 Should Do Regularly", "keywords": "Best, Workout, for, Bigger, Arms", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-workout-for-bigger-arms/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1764777578.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-workout-for-bigger-arms.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:38:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126516", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m In a Relationship With My Boyfriend and His Girlfriend", "title_slug": "im-in-a-relationship-with-my-boyfriend-and-his-girlfriend", "title_hash": "74c946fbf6f32c86dfd1cbe8d9abed21", "summary": "I met Darius during my national service. He was one of the big guys—the sort of man whose presence alone changed the temperature in a room. Tall, confident, always smelling …", "content": "

I met Darius during my national service. He was one of the big guys—the sort of man whose presence alone changed the temperature in a room. Tall, confident, always smelling like good decisions and expensive perfume. From the beginning, I knew he liked me. He never said it outright, but everything he did screamed, “Efua, I want you.”

He would buy me lunch and also offer to drive me home. When he drove me home, he did not even complain about the traffic like other men do. Sometimes I would get home, open my bag, and see crisp notes tucked inside with a small handwritten message: “In case you want free money to buy something. – Darius”

My colleagues would tease me endlessly. “What have you done to that man?” “Ei, Efua, teach us your charm. We, too, want somebody’s son to put money in our bag o!” Honestly, I had not done anything. I did not flirt, did not dress provocatively, did not even encourage him. I was just doing my national service, but Darius made it seem like I had saved his life in a previous world.

Then one day, he walked to my desk after work, leaned forward slightly, and said, “I am going to Nigeria for a four-day conference. Would you like to go with me?” My heart skipped two beats and did a somersault. But I kept my cool. I answered that I would want to go but did not know the excuse to give to my boss to let me not come to work for a whole week.

He smiled like he owned the world and said, “Leave that one to me.” Before I could blink, he had arranged everything. So I followed Darius to Nigeria. We slept in the same hotel room for four nights. Same bed. Same air. Same silence. And he never touched me.

I kept wondering: Does he not like me like that? Is he impotent? Married? Gay? What exactly is happening? On the flight back to Ghana, I finally asked, “So what was the point of bringing me along?” He chuckled, “Just to be with you here so those hungry men in the office would not have you while I was away. They think I do not see how they look at you.”

I laughed, but confusion was eating me alive. Back home, he sent a message days later, “I really love you. But there is a problem and I do not know if you will accept me that way.” I did not hesitate. I called immediately. “What problem?”

His voice dropped serious. “I want you as my girlfriend but I cannot keep only you as a girlfriend. There is Sophia. We have dated for almost a year. She does not mind me having another girlfriend. But I do not know about you.”

For a moment, I went blank. Who says this kind of thing? What kind of man announces his infidelity like a lecture? But instead of feeling disgusted, I felt disoriented and weirdly impressed by his honesty. He could have easily hidden Sophia. Most men do. But he laid it bare. I asked if he was very sure that Sophia loved him and he answered that he was very sure. I asked, “How can a woman love you and still want to share you with another woman?” And he answered, “She accepts polygamy, that is why.”

I accepted to date him with the intention to work hard and snatch him from Sophia. I was going to be the obedient girlfriend and study what he lacked from Sophia and give him just that. I will love him, handle him right, and eventually, he will choose me over Sophia. I did not know I was entering a battle I was not prepared for.

After I agreed, Darius said, “I want you to meet Sophia. I want both of you to get along.” I choked on my own saliva.

“What?! Why?”
\n“So there is no misunderstanding. I want peace.”

For the next three months, he persuaded me through gifts and beautiful messages to meet Sophia. He would send me screenshots of their chat where Sophia was expressing eagerness to meet me. So finally, I agreed to meet her. He gave her my number. She called. And that very weekend, she came to visit me at home.

This is Sophia…
\nBeautiful, confident, curvy, polished.
\nFace card—10/10.
\nBody—God took His time.
\nJob—excellent.
\nDegree—solid.
\nConfidence—unmatched.

I sat there wondering: So what does Darius want from me that he does not already have in Sophia? What do men even want? Sophia was surprisingly sweet. She admitted she was not comfortable either but was trying. I respected her honesty. We started getting close. We talked about life, womanhood, careers, everything except the giant elephant called Darius.

When Darius is with us, it feels like emotional gymnastics. He will rest his head on my lap while stroking Sophia’s hair. He will play with Sophia’s fingers then try to kiss me. He will call her “Babe” and then turn around and call me “Babe” too. I started resisting, almost flinching whenever he touched me. So we talked and agreed on boundaries. That we will never be intimate in front of the other person. Sophia had desires I could not wrap my mind around. She wanted the three of us together. Doing it. I shut that down immediately.

I have come to love Darius so much but my spirit wants to run from the relationship. I like Sophia as a person too. She could have been a very great friend had it not been for Darius. When I confessed to Sophia that I wanted to leave the relationship because it does not get comfortable, she begged me to stay. She said, “Please do not leave. It will break Darius. He loves you more than me.”

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Her words wrapped around my neck like a rope. I feel trapped between two people who genuinely care for me but in ways that tear my soul apart. I want to leave but I also want to win. I want Darius to myself but I do not want to lose Sophia either. I want peace but all I get is chaos dressed as love.

I want to know: Apart from walking away, what can I do to win in this situation? How does a woman win when the game was rigged from the start? I am losing myself softly. Slowly. Quietly. And no one, not even Darius, can see it.

—Efua

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*****

", "keywords": "I’m, Relationship, With, Boyfriend, and, His, Girlfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/32772.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/im-in-a-relationship-with-my-boyfriend-and-his-girlfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:16:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126515", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Married Another Woman While We Were Still Together", "title_slug": "he-married-another-woman-while-we-were-still-together", "title_hash": "5c5fc51c64852908f070ceacd0b937d1", "summary": "Joel was married when I met him. I was barely 18 years old and in SHS 1. I didn’t know much about men. I was the kind of girl who …", "content": "

Joel was married when I met him. I was barely 18 years old and in SHS 1. I didn’t know much about men. I was the kind of girl who avoided anything that had to do with boyfriend-girlfriend. He told me, “You seem to be a good girl. I want to be your friend.”

Although I didn’t understand anything about marriage, he confided in me about his marital problems. From everything he said, they were on shaky ground. His wife’s family never supported their union. And when her mother died, they pushed even harder for her to leave him. Unfortunately for them, she kept having miscarriages.

Her family used the pregnancy losses to push for the dissolution of their marriage. Eventually, they won. They went to his house and helped her pack her belongings. It broke him. I watched it happen. I didn’t know what to do to comfort him but I stayed by his side and listened to his problems.

As I am sharing this story, the woman is now happily married to another man and they have a child together.

My closeness and constant communication with Joel got to me. I was young, and naïve. I didn’t realise what was happening until I woke up one day and realised I had fallen in love with him.

He was the first person who really taught me what a relationship was, how to love, how to communicate, and how to fight and solve problems with someone you love. He was generous. Whenever I needed cash for school, he provided. There were times he talked about marriage. I was still too young for that kind of talk so I didn’t pay him any mind.

When I completed SHS, he spoke about marriage again. I responded, “You know I don’t have a stable job to take such a step. I want to attend nursing training first before I start thinking about that.” He said he would wait.

We were happy. We went out together, I visited him often, and even though we had issues, we always found a way to settle everything.

One Monday evening I went to see him. We talked, laughed, and had fun like we always do. I left thinking everything was normal. The next morning, I woke up to a message from him saying, “I want to get married, but I don’t want to lose you too.”

As vague as the message was, I understood what it meant. He wanted to marry at a time when I was not ready to get married.

Unbeknownst to me, he had already made plans to marry someone else. His marriage was two weeks away when he sent me that vague text message.

He was my first love. Needless to say, his betrayal was my first heartbreak. That pain nearly finished me. I lost so much weight that people couldn’t even recognise me. After he got married, he was acting as if nothing had changed. I asked him a simple question: “So what am I to you now? A girlfriend? A second wife in waiting? Or a mistress?”

He refused to answer. He said none of the answers would make me happy. And honestly… it was true. But he also said he wasn’t leaving me, that he still wanted to be with me. And like a fool in love, I accepted it and continued the relationship.

Recently, things have changed. He has started avoiding me whenever school issues come up. He keeps saying he doesn’t want to take the risk of supporting me because after I complete, I might refuse to marry him. I told him I’m not that kind of girl, but he keeps insisting no.

That means from day one, he never trusted me. He only pretended.

At this point, I feel like he’s happy in his marriage and is slowly trying to let me go. I’ve accepted it. He even said that if I complete and still want to marry him, then fine.
\n

My dearies, I have learned my lessons the bitter way. He promised me the world yet he married another woman after everything. I started from scratch with him, stood by him, rejected every man who came my way because I wanted to remain faithful, and this is what I get.

—Koryor

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", "keywords": ", Married, Another, Woman, While, Were, Still, Together", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/IMG-20251204-WA0069.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-married-another-woman-while-we-were-still-together/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:16:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126514", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Please, Help Me Close This Door My Ex Opened in My Life", "title_slug": "please-help-me-close-this-door-my-ex-opened-in-my-life", "title_hash": "62f47a485cea08f5959c3f4598fc9736", "summary": "I was nineteen when my ex opened a door I didn’t even know existed. He was twenty-seven, older, and experienced. I was a blank page he scribbled anything on. He …", "content": "

I was nineteen when my ex opened a door I didn’t even know existed. He was twenty-seven, older, and experienced. I was a blank page he scribbled anything on. He introduced me to po*n like it was a textbook. He would show it to me and say, “This is how it’s done. Can you do it the same way?” We would watch. Then try to copy. Then watch again. By the time the relationship collapsed, I knew websites, categories, keywords and things I had no business knowing at that age.

At twenty-two, I met Ken. I wanted to impress him. I wanted to be the girl no man could leave. So I went deeper into po*n. The hardcore, graphic ones, thinking if I learned everything, he would stay forever. And he loved it. He couldn’t keep his hands off me. I became his fantasy, his addiction. I thought that meant security. Instead, it meant bondage.

We dated for five years. I would break up today and go crawling back tomorrow. He cheated, I cried, he apologized and I stayed. I stayed because I thought all I had to offer was what I had learned. I stayed because I was scared no one else would want me. Then one day, out of nowhere, he told me he was getting married to another woman.

I begged. I cried. I offered to change. When everything failed, I whispered the most humiliating sentence of my life: “Go and marry her but don’t leave me. I’ll be your side chick.”

He left.

That was last year and that’s when po*n stopped being about intimacy and became my medicine. A painkiller. A distraction. Whenever the heartbreak felt like a stone pressing on my chest, I watched something. Anything. The darker ones. The rougher ones where women are treated like slaves. The more degrading, the better. It numbed me. It drowned the ache. Soon I was watching it in trotro, taxis, even in church.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Now I cannot go a few hours without watching it. It has become a chain wrapped around my neck, dragging me lower and lower. I tried seeking help from a man I trusted until he tried to sleep with me too. That broke something in me. It told me that even people who claim to help are only hunting for my weakness.

My life is fragile. I know I am standing on the edge of something dangerous. A ditch I might never return from. I want to stop watching. I want to breathe again. I want freedom. I am begging you, please help me. Just tell me something. A few sentences that will pull me away from this addiction.

—Ewuraa

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*****

", "keywords": "Please, Help, Close, This, Door, Opened, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/2148977286.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/please-help-me-close-this-door-my-ex-opened-in-my-life/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:16:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126513", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Got Pregnant When My Two Side Chicks Were Already Pregnant!", "title_slug": "my-wife-got-pregnant-when-my-two-side-chicks-were-already-pregnant", "title_hash": "f62731a7d73f1d31d2d3b46e48c7545a", "summary": "Three years ago, when I married my wife, I thought I had finally found stability. We created routines that made us feel like the perfect couple. Every Friday night we …", "content": "

Three years ago, when I married my wife, I thought I had finally found stability. We created routines that made us feel like the perfect couple. Every Friday night we went out on dates, sometimes to try new restaurants, other times just walking around town holding hands. Saturday nights were for movies, cuddling on the couch, and laughing at old jokes we’d shared since dating. Sundays were our favourite: church in the morning, lunch afterwards, then both of us writing three lessons from the sermon and discussing them like two best friends doing homework together.

Everything felt easy. Everything felt right. Our intimate life wasn’t fireworks, but it was enough to keep the bond alive. I went to bed every night grateful for my wife.

But a year later, something changed. It didn’t happen suddenly; it happened silently, slowly, like water dripping into a bucket until it spills over. She became tired all the time. Not normal tired, but too tired for everything that made our marriage vibrant. Too tired for Friday nights out. Too tired for Saturday movie nights. Too tired for intimacy week after week.

When I begged her for just one night out, she would say, “I’m exhausted. Maybe next week.” And “next week” became “next month,” until we stopped going anywhere altogether. The rejection began to wear a hole in my heart.

One Friday, after reminding her all week about our date, she looked at me and said, “You can go alone. I’m too tired.”

Out of anger, and maybe sadness, I went alone just so my mind wouldn’t explode. That night, I met people who made me feel seen again. Women laughed with me, joked with me, flirted with me. One woman stayed by my side the whole night talking. For a second, I wanted to ask for her number. But I forced myself to remember I had a wife at home, and that I still wanted my marriage to work.

When I returned at midnight, the sight of her wide awake watching TV annoyed me. “So you’re not tired?” I asked. “If it was me watching a movie with you, you would have slept.” She calmly said, “I’m distracting myself while waiting for you.”

We talked that night. Real deep conversation. I expressed how neglected I felt. She said, “But if I’m tired, I should force myself to do things that you want me to do? Don’t you care about my health?” I thought the chores were part of the stress, so I began doing more, cleaning, washing, cooking and hoping she’d feel lighter and return to me emotionally. But nothing changed. Our intimacy grew worse. She rejected me constantly.

I started feeling invisible in my own home. One month passed with no intimacy and no affection. Every attempt I made was met with “I’m tired.” Eventually, I stepped into the world looking for something, anything that felt like love.

I called old exes just to test if there was still a spark. Nothing. Then I met Felicia, a nurse I knew from the hospital. She was warm, easy to talk to, and surprisingly affectionate. Before long, we were dating. After a few months of dating, I still was not fulfilled the way I thought I would so I got another lady, Frema. She was younger and creative in bed.

I stopped demanding intimacy from my wife. I stopped arguing. Emotionally, I checked out and allowed myself to be celebrated elsewhere. Then my world exploded.

Frema told me she was pregnant. She refused every suggestion of aborting. She said she had already had one abortion and would never do another. I panicked and begged but she was firm. I pleaded with her and even promised her money I didn’t have. She still said no.

While I was on Frema begging her to let the pregnancy go, Felicia texted one early morning, “I tested. I’m pregnant. We need to talk.”

When I rushed to see her, she told me she was keeping her baby because she was over thirty and didn’t know if she’d ever conceive again. These two women refused to listen. They kept the pregnancies.

For months I couldn’t sleep. I was constantly afraid my phone would ring when my wife was near. I tried pushing the women away with anger and threats. I even threw around DNA threats, but they still held on.

Today, both pregnancies are five months in.

Then yesterday, my wife came dancing to me singing, “The Lord has done it finally, finally, finally!” She was glowing, holding her pregnancy test like a trophy. I forced a smile and pretended to be happy but inside I felt my world collapsing. In my mind, I was calling the year a bad year because tell me how I could get three women pregnant in the same year?

My wife is excited. Planning names. Calling relatives. Meanwhile, I’m drowning silently. I know when the babies arrive, everything will scatter. I won’t be able to hide or lie anymore. My wife will break. My marriage will shatter. My reputation will burn.

My elder brother knows everything. He says I should tell our mother but I’m terrified. That woman cannot keep a secret. If she hears it today, the whole church, neighbourhood, and extended family will hear it tomorrow.

Now I’m stuck. Should I tell my wife now? Or wait until the babies come and confess then?

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Either way, my life is heading toward destruction and I don’t know how to stop it. I feel like a man trapped in a burning building with no exit. Yes, I made wrong choices but I also feel like loneliness and rejection pushed me there.

How do I handle this without destroying myself completely? How do I tell my wife I have two more babies coming when she is celebrating the one she’s carrying? I feel like I’m already living in hell.

—Owura

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*****

", "keywords": ", Wife, Got, Pregnant, When, Two, Side, Chicks, Were, Already, Pregnant", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/122753.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-got-pregnant-when-my-two-side-chicks-were-already-pregnant/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:16:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126512", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Son’s Father Built His Life on Lies, and I Believed All of Them", "title_slug": "my-sons-father-built-his-life-on-lies-and-i-believed-all-of-them", "title_hash": "6f4ec94d30b524987f8df401e764214a", "summary": "I thought I knew the man I was so familiar with, but it turned out he was a master manipulator. Honestly, I believed I knew him more than he knew …", "content": "

I thought I knew the man I was so familiar with, but it turned out he was a master manipulator. Honestly, I believed I knew him more than he knew himself. It turns out all I knew about him was a lie. He lied about his job, where he came from, his relationship status, everything.

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When I got pregnant, he disappeared for seven months. I do not know where he went. But when he showed up, he came with a woman he called his aunt. Later, I would learn that she was one of those self-proclaimed spiritual mothers from Kasoa, on my baby daddy’s payroll. From what I understand, he was buying her silence with cash to keep his relationship with the woman he is currently living with in East Legon. Apparently, he went to do a knocking ceremony just two months after I told him I was pregnant in 2023. All while carrying on with his normal life as a football agent. Let us call him Otinkorang.

When I was in the labour ward fighting for my life to birth his baby, he was absent. His family was nowhere to be found. The thing is, he was trying so hard to keep it quiet that he was having a baby with me. He was hiding the truth. I struggled to pick up the pieces of my life while caring for my son financially, physically, and emotionally. There were times he gave support, but it was always met with insults from me. As a woman, I know I should not insult a man, but that was the only language he truly understood, so I gave it to him. He knew how to provoke me. When I was silent, he never sent a dime. When I screamed and made noise, that was the only time he sent money for his son, so I also resorted to that. He played into that, always pushing me to act out of character, then using it to tell others I was mean, that I had trapped him with a baby. When I would confront him about the truths I discovered, he would swear heaven and earth and deny everything.

So here is the thing. According to sources, the name I know him by is a lie. He is using a mobile wallet name as his real name. Everyone around him, including my family, knew him by that name. The worst of it all is that we named our child using the fake surname he presented, a name he approved, but he was absent during the child’s christening. It was as if he had planned everything to the core. When I confronted him, he denied it, saying we all just assumed it was his real name. The truth is, he played me and my entire family for fools.

The man he introduced as his father eight months after my C-section was not his real father. He was his uncle, who also played me for a fool. I only found out when the old man died recently. I had my suspicions, but fate exposed the truth in the harshest way.

When push came to shove, I finally met his real family, his mother and sister. They still have not informed his biological father, for reasons known best to them. According to them, they want to make amends for his actions, but his behaviour has not changed. He still is not taking responsibility for his son the way he should. This man does not know how to love his son. No empathy, no conscience, and no accountability. He has not even taken our son in his arms to play with him or shown any fatherly love. He tells pathological lies that make your soul shiver. Everything he has done, he acted like he was forced.

I already walked away seven months ago, until the truth about his uncle’s passing came out recently. That brought a lot of ugly, bitter truths to light.

His sister and I had a heart-to-heart conversation concerning her nephew. From all that she said, it is clear to me she just does not want to get on her brother’s bad side. That is all. So I have also decided to withdraw myself entirely. She said that they have not told anyone from either side of their family what has happened in the last few years, that their son has a child with me.

Now I am torn. They have offered to send my son to school and help with his birth certificate. I already turned down the birth certificate offer. It is my job as a mother to do it once the names are finalised and approved. I want to protect my son from further hurt. I have been hurt terribly, and I will not let him be hurt all over again. I am shielding him from emotional imbalance.

The worst of it is, I know why this man is behaving this way toward me and his son. He is only protecting his relationship with the woman he is living with because he benefits financially from her. She takes good care of him, and his family benefits as well. Hence the reason he is hiding the fact that he has a son with me from her. They have no children together.

A few people who know the truth have told me to expose him. If he can do this to me, he can do it to someone else’s daughter. But I know I cannot do that. It is even crazy how I still defend this man regardless, countless times, even when news flew in about his secret lifestyle. His family has zero idea. At the end of the day, he is still my son’s father.

But I constantly ask myself, to what extent do I endure nonsense in the name of patience, forgiveness, and understanding? Especially with his family claiming to be in shock and wanting to right his wrongs?

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I have decided to focus on my son’s future. I will be getting his birth certificate done with my last name. He will start school soon. I will not wait on any family. I will start a new job I got in January, and I will foot every bill for him and myself. I have a side gig that helps. If the family decides in the future what is best for my son, they can always go change his last name, provided his father is sincere about his actions. I want nothing forced.

I am physically and mentally drained, but I am holding on to my faith and spiritual support. I am not perfect, but I have been grounded firmly in prayer.

Am I doing the right thing? Am I rushing the wait period for his family to do right by him? What is the way forward? Do I call a spade a spade, go to court for sole custody, a child support plan, and reimbursement for back payments, and then move on? Or do I continue quietly as a single mom, forgive, forget, and cut off ties completely? Or do I move on and allow only visitation rights for his aunt and grandmother, the only two who showed some care and love?

—Maryam

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Son’s, Father, Built, His, Life, Lies, and, Believed, All, Them", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/img_1188.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-sons-father-built-his-life-on-lies-and-i-believed-all-of-them/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-05 04:16:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "126284", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Texas Ups the Ante on Its Fight Against Abortion Pills (Podcast)", "title_slug": "texas-ups-the-ante-on-its-fight-against-abortion-pills-podcast", "title_hash": "cd729c4601ec52f18b71ccd9eb949586", "summary": "What you need to know about who the legislation targets, and what it could mean for the future of abortion access nationwide. \nThe post Texas Ups the Ante on Its Fight Against Abortion Pills (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode of Boom! Lawyered, Imani and Jess break down HB 7, a Texas law that attacks medication abortion and could set the stage for a nationwide abortion ban. They also discuss how the legislation, which went into effect on Dec. 4, 2025, incentivizes community members to snitch on one another using financial rewards.

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Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post Texas Ups the Ante on Its Fight Against Abortion Pills (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Texas, Ups, the, Ante, Its, Fight, Against, Abortion, Pills, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/BL-S09-Ep46-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/12/04/texas-ups-ante-on-fight-against-abortion-pills/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-04 11:47:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125352", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Telling Her You'd Better Stop / Are Getting \"Too Turned On\"", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-telling-her-youd-better-stop-are-getting-too-turned-on", "title_hash": "4aab64d8ec4ece305e5ee6643708bee6", "summary": "When she shows interest, AMPLIFY that interest by telling her to stop… because she’s turning you on! Frame her as a naughty minx, & you turn her into one!\nHere’s a tactic that will raise attainability with girls even as it gets them to chase you and even make moves on you.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"the$ When she shows interest, AMPLIFY that interest by telling her to stop… because she’s turning you on! Frame her as a naughty minx, & you turn her into one!

Here’s a tactic that will raise attainability with girls even as it gets them to chase you and even make moves on you.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Telling, Her, Youd, Better, Stop, Are, Getting, Too, Turned, On", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/12/getting-too-turned-on-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-telling-her-youd-better-stop-are-getting-too-turned", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:18:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125351", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is PP405 the Miracle Hair Loss Drug We've Been Promised?", "title_slug": "is-pp405-the-miracle-hair-loss-drug-weve-been-promised", "title_hash": "daab546d26bc2531a6dd4581d9608351", "summary": "A New Hair Loss Treatment Backed by Google Ventures Might Finally Make Baldness a Thing of the Past", "content": "If you’ve been even vaguely following the developments around hair loss treatments for the last few decades, then you’re no stranger to false hope. Every few years, a new drug or treatment option is hyped up, typically for its remarkable ability to regrow hair in bald mice, and after dominating the news cycle for 24 or 48 hours, it is never heard from again.\nSo, when Pelage Pharmaceuticals began touting its novel hair loss drug, PP405, and the fawning headlines started to roll in (“Did UCLA Just Cure Baldness?” and “The Great Unbalding” were standouts), I barely took notice. And then they received $120 million dollars in series B funding from Google Ventures. And then Time Magazine named PP405 one of their “best inventions of 2025.” And then, dear reader, I took notice. \nUnlike most of the promised cures of yore, most of which were touted by a combination of mystics, fraudsters and quacks, PP405 is the brainchild of three prominent UCLA scientists, each of whom is a professor in either molecular biology or chemistry. And unlike most of those pretender companies of the past, Pelage is generating real results in the present. Their first human trials were conducted in 2023, and their Phase 2 trials demonstrating both safety and efficacy are happening right now, concluding some time in December 2025.\n \nIn other words, this is simultaneously the most exciting new hair loss treatment and the one most likely to be available to the average person in the near future. \nRELATED: Why Men Go Bald and What to Do About It\nNeedless to say, then, the hype is now off the charts, with some ambitious hair loss sufferers even turning to black market chemists in a desperate attempt to preempt FDA approval and create the compound themselves (note: don’t do this — seriously, it’s a terrible idea). But the question remains: is PP405 more hype than promise? Are bald and balding men and women destined to be disappointed yet again? Or is this, at long last, the scientific miracle everyone has been waiting for? \nHow PP405 Works\nBefore we get to predictions, let’s take a look at the science, because it’s downright fascinating. Hair loss drugs of the past focused on two main pathways for treating hair loss: blocking DHT via an oral compound called finasteride in the hopes of staving off hair follicle miniaturization or promoting blood flow in the scalp via a topical compound called minoxidil. Under their respective brand names, Propecia and Rogaine, these two drugs dominated the hair loss market for decades, but the results, for most people, were imperfect at best. For some people, Rogaine could regrow a lot of hair, though typically more on the crown than on the temples, and for some people, Propecia could prevent or at least delay hair loss, though also more on the crown than on the temples. \n \nPP405 takes a different approach, eschewing the potential side effects of hormonal changes by targeting cellular metabolism. Specifically, it inhibits the mitochondrial pyruvate carrier (MPC) of the hair follicle, forcing it to switch from a mitochondrial-based metabolism to an energy pathway known as aerobic glycolysis, which happens to be the preferred pathway for rapid growth. In layman’s terms, PP405 operates by targeting dormant and even long-dormant hair follicles and bombarding them with signals to enter their anagen (growth) phase, thus producing long, terminal hairs, the kind you long to run your fingers through when you’re bored. \nWhat Makes PP405 Different?\nExisting hair loss treatments all operate well downstream of PP405, and have shown almost no ability to re-awaken dormant hair follicles. Worse, still, they have severe limitations: finasteride operates on your hormones, with some people experiencing disruptive symptoms to their sexual health, while minoxidil can aggravate scalp skin and cause dandruff. Together, they’ve been the best we’ve had for a long time now, but, as evidenced by the huge number of bald and balding people walking around, they’re at best a band-aid solution awaiting a more permanent fix. \nGranted, PP405 isn’t widely available yet, and we only have the company’s own data to go off of, so take what follows with the tiniest grain of salt, but already there are major reasons for optimism. First, it’s a topical solution that doesn’t target your hormones, so the potential for side effects is very low, and the early testing results confirm that. Second, because it operates upstream of the existing treatments, it has the potential to awaken dormant hair follicles, meaning even men who’ve been shiny bald for a long time might reasonably expect to see regrowth.\nIf the hype is real, the worst case scenario is that we’ve now added a third potent anti-hair loss drug to our arsenal, one that could easily work in tandem with existing treatments to help us achieve better results. In a best case scenario, we have on our hands a drug with the potential to reverse hair loss and regrow thick, terminal hairs, especially in people in the earlier stages of hair loss. \nWhat’s the PP405 Timeline?\nAt this point, it’s more a question of “when” rather than “if,” and that by itself is very exciting news. We’ll have a much clearer picture of their status at the conclusion of their Phase 2 trials, the results of which will be announced imminently, but assuming those are positive, 2026 will be the year of Phase 3, after which it’s a matter of FDA approval, which will be contingent on the drug’s safety. \nIn a best case scenario, PP405 will be available in late 2027, but the smart money will be on a 2028 release to the general consumer. For people desperate to regain their lost locks, that can seem like an intolerable wait, but in a field dominated for centuries by snake oil salesmen and only in the past 40 years amenable to scientific treatment, PP405 should be considered a triumph. At long last, the end of hair loss is truly in sight.\nYou Might Also Dig:\nBest Shampoos for MenTips to Prevent Hair LossThe Benefits of Scalp Exfoliation", "keywords": ", PP405, the, Miracle, Hair, Loss, Drug, Weve, Been, Promised", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/hair/is-pp405-the-miracle-hair-loss-drug-weve-been-promised/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1764621369.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/hair/is-pp405-the-miracle-hair-loss-drug-weve-been-promised.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:17:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125168", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What’s My Friend’s Ghost Planning Against Me?", "title_slug": "whats-my-friends-ghost-planning-against-me", "title_hash": "29615029d94cbbfb671937b057b0ac46", "summary": "Gina and I were inseparable when she was alive. We were sisters in everything but blood. When she met Arthur, I was the first person she told. So when the …", "content": "

Gina and I were inseparable when she was alive. We were sisters in everything but blood. When she met Arthur, I was the first person she told. So when the accident happened, when she fought for her life for a week and left this world, I didn’t only lose a friend; I lost a part of myself.

Exactly a week after she was buried, she came into my dream. She wasn’t ghostly or frightening. She appeared the same way she looked when she was alive. She gave me a message for Arthur. I woke up trembling, but I delivered it.

She came again. And again. Sometimes she asked me to tell Arthur to visit her. Other times she’d simply tell him things meant only for his heart. It became a strange ritual. Gina would come to me, I would pass the message, Arthur and I would talk. Comfort became familiarity. Familiarity became connection.

Then one evening, one conversation lingered too long, one stare held too much meaning, and one touch lasted longer than it should have. Before we realized it, we had crossed a line. We were intimate.

The guilt hit me immediately. I felt like I had stabbed the memory of my best friend in the back. But Arthur, whispered, “It was bound to happen. No regret. No fear.”

That very night, I saw her.

She didn’t speak. She didn’t smile. She didn’t even blink. She only stood there, staring at me with an expression I still cannot interpret. I woke up sweating and scared I had to switch on every light in my room.

Since that night, I have not seen Gina again.

I used to see her often but now, nothing. Just silence. Emptiness.

Sometimes I imagine she is angry with me. In my darkest thoughts, I wonder if her spirit is planning something I cannot defend myself against. I have asked myself a thousand times what I should do to escape this feeling. Pray? Apologize into the air? Visit her grave? Or should I cut Arthur off completely and beg her spirit for peace?

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The truth is, I don’t know.

All I know is that sleep no longer comforts me. Dreams no longer feel safe. And every night, I brace myself, half fearing that Gina will return and half fearing that she take me away in my sleep.

What do I do to escape this feeling? I pray everyday. What else should I do aside prayers?

—Jenny

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "What’s, Friend’s, Ghost, Planning, Against, Me", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/29874.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/whats-my-friends-ghost-planning-against-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:08:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125167", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband Has Two Side Chicks But I’m Looking For Just One Affair Partner", "title_slug": "my-husband-has-two-side-chicks-but-im-looking-for-just-one-affair-partner", "title_hash": "fc9ae26dfa0fe535f13916b48249b0f9", "summary": "I used to believe that a woman’s purity was her greatest treasure. That is what my parents drilled into me from childhood, sometimes gently, sometimes violently. My father especially, he …", "content": "

I used to believe that a woman’s purity was her greatest treasure. That is what my parents drilled into me from childhood, sometimes gently, sometimes violently. My father especially, he guarded me like a fragile artifact he didn’t trust the world to see. If a boy came close to me, he would appear out of nowhere, like a vigilante of chastity, ready to pounce. If I so much as greeted a man, I could expect a lecture or a slap. Friends? No. Parties? Never. The world, according to my father, was a dangerous place designed to corrupt good girls. So I grew up with no social skills, no taste of the world, and absolutely no idea who I was beyond the “good girl” they carved me into.

By twenty-six, when I married Aboagye, I was a virgin, emotionally inexperienced, and socially handicapped. My father gave a long speech on my wedding day, the kind guests clap for without actually listening. But I listened. His words followed me like a shadow: “Don’t make friends. Don’t become what we didn’t teach you.”

So when I entered marriage, I entered it alone. And I stayed alone. Meanwhile, Aboagye lived like a man who rented his joy to the entire city. Friends everywhere. Friends who called him late at night. Friends who could make him laugh until he gasped for air. Friends who dropped by unannounced to play video games and eat my food. Friends for drinking, for outings, for advice, for business—friends for every chapter of his day and night.

And then there was me, his wife, sitting quietly at home, crocheting my loneliness into something tolerable. At first, I admired him. His social energy. His laughter. His ability to pick the world up and shake fun out of it. But admiration slowly turned into envy. And envy quietly curdled into suspicion. Why was he always on the phone at odd hours? Who were these people who could keep my husband awake and smiling at 1AM?

One night, after months of observing his fingers dance across his screen, I finally cracked his password. I should have been scared. But all I felt was relief. Relief that I could finally understand the man I married. After going through his phone, my entire worldview shattered like a cheap glass cup. He wasn’t just talking to friends. He was entertaining women. Women he called “sweetheart,” “my sunshine,” “my peace.” Two of them were his girlfriends. Actual girlfriends. With dates, outings, hotels, places he had never taken me to, places I didn’t even know he knew.

Scrolling further, I found a voice note he sent a friend: “Bro, I’m home with Madam BB.” Madam BB? I read further to understand what BB meant. “Madam Boring Beauty.” I read it twice. Three times. Four times. BB. Just like that, my entire life story was summarized into two alphabets. Imagine your husband calling you beautiful and boring in the same breath.

I didn’t cry. I wasn’t disappointed. The sadness came later. But what hit me first was clarity. A sharp, painful clarity. Like someone turned on all the lights in a room where I had been stumbling in the dark for years. I saw my life for what it was: a cage. A miserable, lonely cage built with my father’s rules and sealed with my own ignorance.

I wasn’t even angry at Aboagye. I was angry at myself. Angry at how small my world had been. Angry that at twenty-six, I entered marriage without ever tasting life. Angry that my entire identity had been built around being a “good woman” while my husband was out there living like a man who owed nobody loyalty. A thought whispered to me, soft at first, but soon becoming a roar: “You’re still young. You’re still in your twenties. You have no child. You can still live.”

For the first time in my life, I believed it. What had I been doing? Waiting for a cheating man to become faithful? Chasing women out of my husband’s life when he would simply replace them like changing TV channels? Reading stories here has taught me something. That cheating men don’t reform. They just upgrade their cheating techniques.

So I made a decision. A firm one. Next year, Sandra will live. Not the timid Sandra my father built. Not the shadow of a wife waiting for crumbs of affection. Not the lonely woman sitting in a room praying for her husband’s attention. No. I will build my own life. I will make friends. Yes, actual friends. A squad. People who will laugh with me, drag me out to try new things, show me joy I never tasted, teach me the world my father hid from me.

I will go places I’ve only seen on Instagram. Visit lounges, beaches, restaurants. Take trips. Laugh loudly. Dance badly. Wear clothes I’ve always been scared to wear. And if push comes to shove. If loneliness dares me, I might even get myself a boyfriend. Someone who will show me everything I missed while I was busy being the perfect woman for a man who didn’t know how to be a husband.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Life is short. Youth is shorter. I refuse to waste it. Where do I start? How do I build friendships from scratch when I’m practically a newborn in social life? I guess that’s the question I’m asking the world now. Where does a woman like me begin when she’s finally ready to live? Because I am ready. Ready to step out of the cage. Ready to taste the world. Ready to learn who Sandra actually is, beyond chastity, beyond obedience, beyond being “Madam Boring Beauty.”

Next year, my life begins.

—Sandra

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Husband, Has, Two, Side, Chicks, But, I’m, Looking, For, Just, One, Affair, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/105018.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-husband-has-two-side-chicks-but-im-looking-for-just-one-affair-partner/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:08:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125166", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After Eleven Years, He Is Still Not Ready For Marriage", "title_slug": "after-eleven-years-he-is-still-not-ready-for-marriage", "title_hash": "2686d1dab98923a345104ca27baa4ec4", "summary": "We were both young when we started dating eleven years ago. He didn’t have money, but he showed me love in ways that made me believe in us. He was …", "content": "

We were both young when we started dating eleven years ago. He didn’t have money, but he showed me love in ways that made me believe in us. He was the sweetest person I knew. So I was determined to stick with him through thick and thin. Today, we have an eight-year-old son together.

We went through so much over the years. I remember back in the days. He had to move to Accra because there was nothing in the village for him. His mother refused to invest money in his education. Even when he wanted to travel to Accra, she didn’t give him money. He called me in tears.

“At this point, you are all I have,” he said as he begged me never to abandon him.

He had to live with his friends when he got to Accra and started working. I stayed by his side through everything he experienced. When it was his turn to stand by me, he was quick to jump out the door.

I had just found out I was pregnant. He said he didn’t want to be a father. He wanted me to get rid of it but I refused. Because of that he abandoned me throughout the pregnancy. The mistake I made was to forgive him when he showed up after the baby was born.

He swore he was back to stay but, slowly, his presence faded. His excuse was, “I am busy working to provide for my son.” I watched him drift away from me and towards friends and money. I found myself begging for the smallest form of affection.

When I kept pushing, he broke up with me. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else enjoying the man I had sacrificed so much for, so I begged him to take me back. It took months before he finally did. Even that, I didn’t get the man I once knew back. I got someone who would call me only when he wanted me to spend weekends with him.

Anytime I mentioned marriage, he would say he wasn’t ready. One time he told me plainly, “This is not a relationship. It’s just an arrangement for me to have sex when I am in the mood.”

Recently when the subject came up again, he asked me, “What have you even sacrificed for me, apart from giving birth?” After everything I had stayed through, those words were painful to hear. Being there in his hardest years should have been enough for him to value me.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The happy part of our relationship lasted only five years. The last six years have been nothing but ghosting, excuses, using our son as a bridge to see me, weekends filled with intimacy and then silence afterwards.

I’ve thought of blocking him from everywhere. But each time I consider it, I remember my son. He lives with me. His father needs to reach me to provide for him.

I feel like I’m losing myself. Some pastors say it’s spiritual. I don’t always want to believe that, but sometimes I ask myself—what makes a man chase you fiercely today, and the moment you give him a chance, he becomes cold and distant again?

I don’t think I will be free of him if I still talk to him. It seems to me the only way out of this mess is to block him and delete his number. Should I do it even if it affects my son’s relationship with his father? At least, until I am completely healed from the toxic relationship I am struggling to let go of.

—Sandy

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#SB

", "keywords": "After, Eleven, Years, Still, Not, Ready, For, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/1309.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/after-eleven-years-he-is-still-not-ready-for-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:08:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125165", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Since I Told Him My Secret, He Hasn’t Been the Same", "title_slug": "since-i-told-him-my-secret-he-hasnt-been-the-same", "title_hash": "5bf38657fd789f008695cfd7ed461339", "summary": "I cannot believe I am here today writing my story. People always say what belongs to you will find you. For me, it came back after seven years. When he …", "content": "

I cannot believe I am here today writing my story. People always say what belongs to you will find you. For me, it came back after seven years.

When he proposed to me in 2018, I looked at him and said no. My reason was simple. He had dated a friend of ours. You know I keep to the girls’ code. You do not eat your friend’s leftovers. His response was just okay. And that was it. We still kept our friendship, but it was not the same. It was not comfortable like before.

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In 2025, fate reconnected us. A lot had happened to me during all those years. I had messed up. I made wrong choices, took wrong paths, and made wrong decisions in my love life. It was wrong men at the right time and right men at the wrong time. It was all mixed up in those years.

After seven years, love came back to me with his arms fully open to embrace me. The day he asked the question every woman loves to hear, “Will you marry me?”, my heart melted. Without thinking twice, I said yes. When I asked him, “Why me?” He answered by saying, Why not you?.

At that very moment, a lot was going through my mind. All the wrong things I had done in the past. What if he finds out? Later that evening we were chatting, and he told me he would be waiting for my testimony. I responded by saying I would be waiting for his too. The reply I got triggered so many emotions. “You will be my testimony,” was what he said. I cried that night.

About a week ago, he met with a friend and introduced me as Mrs. I was worried because I did not know what would happen after he found out about my past. I did not know if that Mrs would become a reality.

Any time I am with him, I am happy, but I have been bottling up a lot of things. I would not want him to find out from someone else. As the saying goes, we live in a small world. So I decided to tell him myself.

I was finding it difficult to start, so he started with his story first. After he finished, he asked if I would want to be with him. I told him to let me finish, and then he could ask me that question. I started my story. He took the whole conversation much cooler than I expected. Then I asked my question. Would you want to be with me? His response was yes. He said we have all made mistakes.

A part of my life I could not confess to a man of God, I confessed to a man who has feelings for me. I knew it could change everything about us, and that scared me, but I had already done it.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I felt lighter after telling him. But now I feel very heavy, not knowing what I will wake up to. These last few days have been the longest I have ever had. He seems calm, but I know he is not. He came to visit me yesterday, a day after I spilled everything. I wanted to kiss him, but he thought I was just giving him a hug. That kiss gave me the answer he could not say. He is not the same person after hearing all that.

Did I make a mistake by telling him? I am currently waiting for a time bomb to explode. I do not know when, and that scares me.

Today happens to be exactly seven years since he first proposed. But this time, did I destroy it with my own hands?

I love him, and I want to be with him.

—Divine

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#SB<>

", "keywords": "Since, Told, Him, Secret, Hasn’t, Been, the, Same", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/274958.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/since-i-told-him-my-secret-he-hasnt-been-the-same/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:08:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "125164", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Saved Him From Court Issues But Our Love Story Became a Crime Scene", "title_slug": "i-saved-him-from-court-issues-but-our-love-story-became-a-crime-scene", "title_hash": "5328a27624a66a5c4548b83d19edbaa1", "summary": "When you wear a police uniform in Ghana, people think the badge makes your skin tougher, your heart colder, and your emotions fireproof. They imagine that the same way you …", "content": "

When you wear a police uniform in Ghana, people think the badge makes your skin tougher, your heart colder, and your emotions fireproof. They imagine that the same way you keep a straight face when dealing with stubborn drivers at the barrier, you must also keep a straight heart when dealing with matters of love. But I now know that heartbreak does not respect rank, uniform, or the number of years you have spent in service.

That morning had been bright, the sun too loud for my liking, the wind carrying dust that had settled on everything, even people’s moods. I was inside the station when I heard a man insisting, pleading, “Abain, please. I beg you. I didn’t do it intentionally.”

I stepped out to see him, a man in neat office wear, sweating as if the sun had singled him out for roasting. Later, I would learn his name was Ben. I asked him what the matter was, and the officers explained that he had committed a traffic offense but refused to accept responsibility earlier. I turned to look at him again. Something in his eyes, the fear, the humility, and the confusion, softened me. So I asked him one simple question: “Did you tell them you were sorry?”

“I’ve said everything,” he replied, looking drained. “But they still brought me here.” I took his number and asked him to go home. I told him I would call. And I did. We spoke several times that day. I assured him I would try to help him get his keys and save him from court embarrassment. Early the next morning, I asked him to meet me outside the station. When he arrived, I placed his keys in his palm and told him he was free to go.

The excitement on his face. Ei, I felt it inside my own chest. He asked, “What did I do to deserve this kindness?” I told him, “You look like a good man.” Later that day, he called again to thank me. The call lasted 40 minutes. Then later, another call. The next day, another. Before I realized it, my fingers were always ready to pick up his calls even before the phone finished ringing.

Food started tasting sweeter. Work became lighter. And suddenly, love, the kind I had prayed for, seemed to be finding me. He proposed and I said yes. We became inseparable. The whole community even nicknamed him “Papa Police.”

He came to the station with food for me. He supported me when my younger brother fell sick. He came to my house with groceries sometimes, saying, “A woman who works as hard as you shouldn’t stress too much.” Though he earned more than I did, I still supported him financially because that is what love is: two people helping each other.

One year passed. My heart was at peace. I felt I had finally met the man who saw me beyond the uniform. One evening, I remember the evening very clearly, we were sitting outside his place when I asked casually, “Do you have plans of marrying soon?” His answer was, “I’m waiting for what God will say.” I laughed lightly, but something inside me knotted. I brushed it aside.

Then two weeks later he told me, “My younger sister is facing marital problems. She’s coming to stay with me for a while to escape from her abusive husband. Because of that, you’ll have to stop visiting for some time.”

It did not sit well with me. But because I loved him, I agreed. One week passed. No problem. Second week, fine. By the fourth week, he was practically ignoring my calls, sending short text answers like “I’m busy,” “She needs help,” “I can’t talk now.” Something in me began to rise, a discomfort I could not swallow, so I reached out to some mutual friends, casually asking what they knew. One of them, after hesitating for a long time, finally said: “She is not his sister. That’s his ex. And the child she came with is Ben’s.”

“Really?”
\n“Yes, that’s the truth, but please don’t quote me.”

My whole body went cold. This wasn’t heartbreak. It was an earthquake. I rushed to his place without thinking. When he saw me, he begged, “Barbara, please don’t make a scene. Let’s talk outside.” While outside, he confessed. “Yes, she’s my ex. The child is mine. We broke up. But our families say we should marry. That’s why she’s here.”

I felt the world tilt. My tongue went dry. All I could say was, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He looked down. “I didn’t want to lose you. Plus, I thought we were over long ago until family entered the frame.” I laughed that painful kind of laughter.

I walked away from him that day with my heart burning. Back home, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t think straight. I stayed indoors for days. My colleagues kept asking what was wrong. When they found out, some got angry and said, “Should we go and teach him a lesson? Just say the word.” I shook my head. “Leave him to God. He will answer for this hurt.”

I meant it. He made me believe I was safe with him. He made me bend, open up, trust, love without fear, only to leave me wounded and humiliated. He took advantage of my kindness the same way a thief takes advantage of an unlocked door. But here is what I know now:

Some disappointments are lessons.
\nSome heartbreaks are redirections.
\nAnd some losses are actually God’s protection.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Maybe Ben did not break me. He freed me from a future that would have destroyed me. Just imagine if we had gotten married and this happened. So I count it all joy, though it hurts. Now I’m healing slowly. I’ve returned to work. I laugh sometimes. I know I will rise again, because women like me, women with good hearts, always rise. And when I do, I’ll look back at this story not with bitterness, but with gratitude, knowing that God saved me from a lifetime of sitting in the shadows of a man who never deserved me.

—Barbara

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Saved, Him, From, Court, Issues, But, Our, Love, Story, Became, Crime, Scene", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/9929432.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-saved-him-from-court-issues-but-our-love-story-became-a-crime-scene/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-03 10:08:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "124928", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Her Baby Was In The NICU. She Was In ICE Detention", "title_slug": "her-baby-was-in-the-nicu-she-was-in-ice-detention", "title_hash": "3b170c549ba1d9a8815f3865faa1ec00", "summary": "Nayra Guzmán was arrested 15 days after her daughter’s difficult birth. Before Trump took office, postpartum immigrants were rarely detained by ICE.\nThe post Her Baby Was In The NICU. She Was In ICE Detention appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This story was originally reported by Mel Leonor Barclay and Shefali Luthra of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with The 19th News Network.

\n\n\n\n

Nayra Guzmán knew there was something wrong with her daughter within hours of her birth—a long and complicated delivery that included a diagnosis of preeclampsia and ended in a cesarean section. In the haze of recovery, the first-time mom noticed her daughter was struggling to breathe. When the baby started turning blue, Guzmán watched as doctors whisked her away to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

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In the days that followed, the 22-year-old’s sole focus was her daughter’s recovery, even as their home, the greater Chicago area, became the latest target of President Donald Trump’s immigration enforcement agenda in a campaign titled Operation Midway Blitz.

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“We weren’t worried about the immigration raids,” said Guzmán, an immigrant from Mexico who has a pending petition for asylum and a pending application for a visa for victims of crime. “Our worry was, ‘How are we going to get this baby home and out of the hospital?’ That was our number one priority, that she would be safe and healthy, and everything else had fallen to the background.”

\n\n\n\n

That changed on the morning of Monday, October 20. Just 15 days after her daughter’s birth, as Guzmán, her mom and younger brother loaded into their car for their daily drive to the NICU, they were surrounded by immigration enforcement agents and whisked away to detention.

\n\n\n\n

Since Trump took office in January, the administration has abandoned Department of Homeland Security policies restricting the arrest and detention of immigrants who have recently given birth, are pregnant or are nursing. As a result, the administration has taken into custody immigrants like Guzmán, who are medically vulnerable and whose detention threatens not only their own health but also that of their newborn children—typically U.S. citizens—by depriving them of early bonding beneficial to a baby’s lifelong wellbeing.

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The administration’s sudden expansion of immigration arrests in Chicago meant Guzmán was in the government’s custody for about 34 hours. She was kept in a holding facility that was intended to house people for only a small fraction of that time—one that has come under intense scrutiny amid allegations of overcrowding, unsanitary conditions and limited medical care. Even though she was still trying to produce breast milk for her daughter, Guzmán had limited access to food and water at the Broadview Processing Center and was never provided a breast pump. She said she was never assessed by a medical professional while in the government’s custody. Guzmán was left to manage the pain of her C-section recovery as well as her Type 1 diabetes with the supplies she had in her backpack at the time of her arrest.

\n\n\n\n

ICE did not respond to a request for comment on Guzmán’s detention or the general conditions at Broadview for immigrants who have recently given birth.

\n\n\n\n

Medical professionals say the conditions of many detention facilities—crowded, dirty and with inconsistent access to health care, food and water—are a threat to most people’s health. They pose particularly acute concerns for people who are still navigating the physical and psychological weight of postpartum recovery like Guzmán.

\n\n\n\n

News reports, lawyers, Democratic lawmakers and immigration rights activists have identified dozens of cases of pregnant, postpartum, and nursing individuals who have been detained and whose health has suffered as a result. But the total amount remains unknown: In March, the Republican-led Congress let lapse a requirement that Homeland Security report twice a year on the number of pregnant, postpartum, and nursing individuals who have been detained. The Trump administration has declined to provide that information despite repeated requests from lawmakers, The 19th, and others.

\n\n\n\n

Now, as the administration expands its immigration enforcement campaign, exporting its Chicago strategy to Charlotte and New Orleans, Guzmán’s case offers a rare window into detention for pregnant and postpartum immigrants. Guzmán is also among the growing number of immigrants who are being detained despite having no criminal record, even as the administration insists its immigration enforcement agenda targets criminals and people who pose a safety threat to the country.

\n\n\n\n

The family had finished breakfast and was loading into the car with some urgency. Guzmán’s daughter was still in the NICU, unable to eat or breathe independently. The doctors had planned a meeting to review the baby’s prognosis and care plans—and Guzmán also wanted to be there for her daughter’s noon feeding.

\n\n\n\n

As Guzmán went to buckle her seatbelt, she looked out the window and noticed they were surrounded. By the look of the white SUVs, Guzmán said, the family knew immediately that they were being detained by immigration agents.

\n\n\n\n

Guzmán remembers the agents asking where they were born and what paperwork they could show. The family, who arrived in the country three years ago, showed the agents their work permits and explained their pending asylum application. The family also explained that they were on their way to the NICU, and an agent approached Guzmán to ask how long it had been since the birth. With that information, they did not handcuff her as she was being detained.

\n\n\n\n

Guzmán asked if she could please call the hospital to let them know she wouldn’t be coming in that day. Guzmán remembers an agent saying she’d have to talk about that with a judge, who would decide whether she would be released or go back to Mexico. The agents explained that after processing, she’d likely be going to a longer-term detention facility in Kentucky.

\n\n\n\n

“In that moment, I just felt fear,” Guzmán said. “I thought, ‘The government is going to take custody of my daughter. I’m going to be in detention and I won’t be able to do anything for my daughter.’ If my daughter isn’t recovering with me there, I thought, then much less so if I’m arrested.”

\n\n\n\n

Up to that point, Guzmán said the pain and difficulty of her own recovery had been overshadowed by her daughter’s. When she was with her, it all faded away. As she was being detained, it came into focus.

\n\n\n\n

Guzmán’s c-section incision was throbbing on the ride to Broadview. The agent behind the wheel was driving fast over potholes, she said, despite pleas from her brother that Guzmán was in a fragile state following her surgery, which involved cutting through seven layers of tissue.

\n\n\n\n

“How is it possible that I’m going all the way to Kentucky, in this state, six hours away? My scar is burning. I’m supposed to be resting,” she thought.

\n\n\n\n

Once she arrived at Broadview, Guzmán said, she was taken to a room and examined by two immigration agents. They asked Guzmán to explain how her insulin pump and monitor worked and what medications she had in her backpack. One agent asked Guzmán to take off her belly binder, a stretchy garment that supports the abdomen after surgery. She declined, explaining that without it, she’d have a hard time managing the pain.

\n\n\n\n

“I overheard another agent say, ‘Leave it. They’ll take it at the detention center,’” Guzmán recalled.

\n\n\n\n

Eventually, she was transferred to a holding cell for women alongside her mom. They were given water and a sandwich at around 3 p.m., Guzmán said, her first meal since they were detained around 10 a.m.

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The only places for rest inside the holding cell were small benches. Guzmán spent the night on one without a blanket or anything but what she had on her body.

\n\n\n\n

“It was really uncomfortable. I was wearing two layers of leggings, two layers of socks, my sweatshirt, and I was still freezing,” Guzmán said. “Once I was laying down, I couldn’t really move because of the pain. And then I started to feel cramping in my uterus.”

\n\n\n\n

C-section recovery typically involves six to eight weeks of rest, gentle movement, wound care and pain management. At a minimum, patients only 15 days out from a c-section require a bed, access to a breast pump, clean water, and a sanitary restroom to change menstrual pads, said Dr. Beth Cronin, an OB-GYN in Rhode Island and chair of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecology’s Committee of Advancing Equity in Obstetric and Gynecologic Health Care. They need access to a shower, and they need extra food—especially if they are breastfeeding.

\n\n\n\n

“Those are medical necessities. You would never take anybody else who just had major surgery and give them a bench,” Cronin said upon learning about Guzmán’s case. The risk of infection is heightened for patients with Type 1 diabetes, she added.

\n\n\n\n

Guzmán’s detention was made more difficult by the fact that she was held in a temporary ICE processing facility lacking the services of longer-term detention centers.

\n\n\n\n

In a class-action suit filed October 30, nine days after Guzmán’s release, people who had been detained at Broadview described overcrowded and dirty cells; limited food and water; no access to showers, soap or menstrual supplies; inadequate medical care; and freezing conditions at night. Multiple people with diabetes said they were given only a sandwich at every meal, though bread can cause blood sugar spikes. Days later, a judge said he found the accounts “highly credible,” and described the conditions as “unnecessarily cruel.”

\n\n\n\n

In another case, filed by a nursing woman detained October 30 and released a day later, government officials conceded that they were not aware of any accommodations at Broadview—such as a lactation room or breast pump—that would allow detained immigrants to express breastmilk.

\n\n\n\n

“Oversight of this facility is desperately needed as legal service providers and our constituents have raised concerns about the poor conditions at Broadview,” read s a letter signed by the state’s two senators and its 14 Democratic representatives, who have been denied entry to assess the conditions of the facility. “These reports allege unsanitary bathroom facilities; spreading illness; continued overcrowding; detainees sleeping on the floor or in chairs; a lack of access to food, water or hygiene products; restricted communications to family members and attorneys; and an inability to access medication.”

\n\n\n\n

“Whether it’s a detention center, whether it’s any federal building under the Department of Homeland Security, we have to make sure that we are enacting and enforcing the policies to protect people,” said Rep. Delia Ramirez, who represents a Chicago-area district and has been pushing for more transparency around conditions at Broadview.

\n\n\n\n

Under any circumstances, Cronin said, having a newborn requiring intensive care can be deeply traumatizing for someone who has just given birth. A large body of medical research suggests that early bonding between a parent and newborn can help nurture an infant’s brain development—fostering social, emotional, and cognitive development—and can alleviate anxiety in someone newly postpartum.

\n\n\n\n

Guzmán said that prior to her arrest, she was at the hospital daily, and would often get time “piel a piel,” or skin-to-skin, with her daughter. While in custody, Guzmán had no access to any information about her daughter. A relative had contacted immigration attorneys to sue for Guzmán’s release; the same lawyers had Guzmán’s father appointed as a temporary guardian for her daughter. Her father and uncle drove to the hospital—risking detention themselves—to visit the baby while Guzmán was in detention.

\n\n\n\n

“Even if she had an uncomplicated vaginal birth without an incision, it’s still the fact that you’re separating a newly postpartum person from their baby in this way and putting them at personal risk to contract infection and get sick and not be appropriately nourished and be able to empty their breasts,” Cronin said. “And all of that is terrifying.”

\n\n\n\n

Citing Guzmán’s health and that of her newborn daughter, her lawyers successfully petitioned a judge to order the family’s release. The three of them left Broadview at around 8 p.m. on October 21, avoiding a transfer to a long-term detention facility, such as the one in Kentucky. It was too late to visit the hospital that day. The family waited for close to 30 minutes in the rain before their attorneys could pick them up, said Laura Smith, a lawyer who argued for the release of Guzmán and her family. Their first stop was for a meal at Portillo’s, a local fast food chain that specializes in Chicago-style hot dogs.

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Even climbing a flight of stairs was difficult for Guzmán, Smith recalled: She had to walk backward, relying on her family for support.

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After her release, Guzmán fell ill with flu-like symptoms, which kept her separated from her daughter for almost a week. After going almost two days with little food or water and without access to a breast pump, Guzmán said, her breastmilk dried up.

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While her daughter has made significant strides, she continues to need NICU care. Guzmán said her daughter still relies on a feeding tube, and doctors have ordered more tests to arrive at a diagnosis. Going outside—even to see her daughter—feels dangerous in a way it didn’t before.

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“When I first got home, I felt relieved. But the next day, I had to face reality. I was telling myself, ‘You have to leave the house and see your baby.’ But I had this horrible fear that they would detain me again,” Guzmán said.

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There is no active deportation case against Guzmán, and her visa application is still pending. She keeps having flashbacks to her arrest and detention: the sound of chains and handcuffs being thrown around by immigration agents, the screaming, the way the men arrive at the detention facility “all beat up and dirty.”

\n\n\n\n

“It’s a deep fear and this feeling that there are eyes watching you everywhere.”

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The post Her Baby Was In The NICU. She Was In ICE Detention appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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More unvaccinated or undervaccinated children may soon start attending class in Florida.

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On Dec. 3, the state will end many of the vaccine mandates required to enroll in public school. The state’s surgeon general, Joseph Ladapo, announced the plan, implemented in conjunction with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, in September 2025.

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Vaccines that protect against hepatitis B, chickenpox, and pneumonia will no longer be required for K-12 students in Florida. Protection against haemophilus influenza Type B, a bacteria that can cause meningitis and pneumonia, will also become optional for students. Vaccines for polio, diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, measles, mumps, and rubella are still required for now.

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The most immediate consequence of Florida’s new policy is expected to be a statewide decrease in vaccinations during early childhood, which is when most Americans get the bulk of their shots. But the effects will be felt well beyond the classroom.

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Why vaccinating young children protects everyone

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Academic research shows that strict vaccine mandates for school enrollment increase overall childhood inoculation rates. That, in turn, improves community protection against infectious disease.

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Children—with their underdeveloped immune systems and physical proximity to others—are major germ spreaders. By preventing some illnesses among young kids, early childhood vaccination also keeps family members, teachers, and others healthier.

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That reality may impact some more than others, as critics of Florida’s new policy have pointed out. Evidence shows that children who live in rural areas, are low-income, or whose families lack health insurance are less likely to get vaccinated, even when vaccination is obligatory.

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Working parents without the time or means to take their children to get vaccinated may skip the shots that are no longer required Alok Patel, a pediatrician at Stanford Children’s Health, told ABC News.

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“If you have parents who have barriers to getting those vaccines … and then all of a sudden, they’re told you don’t need to get them, sometimes the pathway of least resistance is not getting your kid vaccinated,” Patel said.

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Florida offers free vaccines to children 18 and under who are uninsured, underinsured, Medicaid-eligible, Medicaid-enrolled, American Indian, or Alaska Native. But their caretakers may have to pay up to $24.01 per vaccine in administration fees, and could still be charged for other care related to the visit.

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A CDC report released in 2024 found that vaccinating children born between 1994 and 2023 prevented 508 million infections, 32 million hospitalizations, and 1.1 million deaths. The result was $540 billion in direct medical and nonmedical savings, and $2.7 trillion in associated societal savings.

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Vaccination, in other words, may save money in copayments, medicine purchases, and days off work for illness or child care.

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Some experts warn that the state’s decision could also increase vaccine hesitancy in Black communities. Black Americans have documented historical justification for mistrust in the medical establishment following centuries of racism and unethical medical research, such as the Tuskegee Syphilis Study.

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Declaring once-essential vaccines to be optional may add to their overall skepticism of the health establishment, Dr. Nelson Adams, an OB-GYN in Miami and a board member for the nonprofit Health Foundation of South Florida, told CNN in September, following Ladapo’s announcement.

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“The trust issue is compounded when the messaging is not clear, it’s inconsistent and the messengers are folks who have positions of authority,” Adams said.

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Deadly diseases can spread fast

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History shows that any decrease in vaccination rates, among any demographic group, will quickly result in an increase in preventable infections.

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Children, babies who are too young for immunization, and individuals who are immunocompromised or otherwise unable to be vaccinated will be most vulnerable as preventable diseases spread.

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As a result, vaccine-preventable diseases will likely rise in Florida in the coming months and years—specifically measles, which is now exploding worldwide after being nearly eradicated. The U.S. is currently experiencing its largest measles outbreak since 1992 and is in danger of losing its status as having eradicated the disease.

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Measles is a highly-infectious respiratory disease that typically causes high fever, cough, and rash, though it can lead to pneumonia, blindness, and brain damage. While most people’s symptoms improve, 1 in 5 unvaccinated people in the U.S. who contract it will be hospitalized. Roughly 1-to-3 of every 1,000 people who contract the disease will die, according to the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases.

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Florida had 11 confirmed measles cases in 2024 and seven so far in 2025.

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Nursing homes and hospitals are acutely at risk when infectious diseases are allowed to spread.

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Florida is home to nearly 5 million residents aged 65 or older. According to the Florida Health Care Association, there are approximately 71,000 people being cared for at the 691 licensed nursing homes in the state.

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Florida’s long-term care facilities were hit hard by COVID, with staff vaccination rates consistently falling below the industry standard of 75 percent. In August 2021—eight months after the vaccine was first offered to older Americans, Florida was tied with Alaska for the nation’s highest rate of death in nursing home residents.

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If vaccination rates for measles fall below herd immunity thresholds of 95 percent, this population and others will again be highly exposed to a deadly illness.

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Increased health disparities

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Florida Surgeon General Ladapo, a vaccine skeptic, framed the state’s rollback of public health protections as a matter of bodily autonomy, at one point comparing vaccine mandates to human bondage.

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“Every last one of them is wrong and drips with disdain and slavery,” Ladapo, who is Black, said at a Sept. 3 press conference.

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But recent national polling shows that nearly 4 in 5 Americans support requiring vaccination for children—including 68 percent of Republicans. Florida’s abrupt policy change, enacted despite having no basis in science, has drawn criticism even from members of Ladapo’s own party.

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“Florida already has a good system that allows families to opt out based on religious and personal beliefs, which balances our children’s health and parents’ rights,” U.S. Sen. Rick Scott, a Republican whose funding cuts to many state public health initiatives as Florida’s governor from 2011 to 2019 made him a foe of public health proponents, said in a statement.

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Florida, like all 50 U.S. states, already allows medical exemptions from required student vaccinations. It also allows parents to exempt their children from inoculation on religious grounds.

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In the 2024-2025 school year, Florida was among 16 states where more than 5 percent of students were unvaccinated. It already falls below the federal government’s 2030 target of 95 percent MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) immunization, with just 89 percent of kindergartners receiving routine immunizations for 2024-2025.

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If Florida classrooms become incubators of disease, working-class families could face a tough decision: Do we send our child to school with unvaccinated and undervaccinated peers?

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If the child is vaccinated, mingling with children who are not fully vaccinated may pose an acceptable risk. But what if the child—or one of their parents—is immunocompromised?

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Upper-income families have more options. To avoid disease exposure, some will withdraw their children from the public education system, as private schools can set their own vaccine policies.

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And many of these families will opt to use school vouchers to offset their new tuition costs.

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Prior to 2022, voucher programs—which Republicans have pushed since the 1980s as a way for parents to choose the best schools for their children—were usually limited to low-income families. In recent years, however, some states—including Florida—have expanded their programs to include all students, regardless of income. Florida expanded its voucher program in 2023, and 44 percent of new applicants came from households that make $120,000 or more annually.

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Poor and working class families can use vouchers too, but they must still cover costs that the vouchers do not. In Florida, for example, the average voucher was $8,833 for the 2024-2025 school year, while recent estimates put the average cost of private school tuition at about $14,000.

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As a result, it’s likely that the families who decide to take their children out of public schools to reduce their disease exposure, whether using vouchers or paying out of pocket, will be affluent. This sort of exodus of upper-income parents has negative outcomes for public schools, which educate 90 percent of students nationwide, as well as for the community, and the education system as a whole.

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Spinoff effects

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And when diseases break out in Florida following the end of mandates, they will not stay within state borders.

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Florida’s tourism industry, which brought a record 143 million people to the state in 2024, will exacerbate this ripple effect. Travelers infected with measles in Florida could appear healthy for up to two weeks before showing symptoms of the disease, and they may spread it to many others during that period.

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Additionally, other states with anti-vaccine leadership—for example, Louisiana and Texas—could soon follow suit, removing their own vaccine mandates and creating a larger pool of susceptible unvaccinated and undervaccinated people nationwide.

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The fallout of Florida’s anti-vaccine policy will have far-reaching consequences, harming households even if they don’t have young children, raising healthcare costs, and increasing health disparities nationwide.

The post As Florida Schools Admit Unvaccinated Students, Working Families May Feel the Worst Consequences: Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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My heart is filled with a fear. The fear that I might one day end my life. I am tired of carrying everything. I am tired of carrying the evil I have been through, the bad, the ugly and all of it.

I fear I might end my life without anyone knowing why. No one would hear about the silent battles I have fought or the extreme pain I have endured my entire life. I am a young Christian lady who has believed and trusted God since I was a little child.

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One of the most painful things is having faith in God and seeing nothing good happen. You trust God and no good thing comes your way. You pray, fast, sow seeds, and declare God’s goodness, yet you have nothing to show for it. You seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, yet the other things are never added unto you.

The truth is, I followed God not because I wanted earthly things, but because I wanted Him to save me. Over the years, it seems I have been on my own. It seems God never cared about that little girl of eight who sincerely loved Him. That little girl who would refuse to eat until she walked the long distance to church to sweep, clean, and arrange chairs. She would sit humbly at the back, waiting for the other kids to show up.

I grew up believing that faith, humility, respect, and hard work would bring blessings. But if you look at my life, you would never want to be any of those things. There is nothing good about my life that proves God cares about me, or ever has.

I came from a poor, broken home and lived with an abusive, aggressive father. I have had my fair share of what this ugly, wicked life has to offer. I am 34 now and I am tired. I am so tired. I wish I could scream right now.

For many years, I have tried my hand at many things. I pray and commit everything into God’s hands, yet it fails. I am hardworking. I serve people and take care of their business as if it were my own, yet nothing good comes my way. The more I serve others, the more I move backwards.

I have prayed. God knows I have prayed to no one else but Him. I have sown seeds secretly and openly. I do charity work. My mother was a humble servant and I learned that from her. But I feel stuck.

I once wrote a book to motivate others, but it failed. No matter how hard I advertised, it did not sell. I even lowered the price. I ended up giving it away for free and ran at a loss. I had to take a loan from my office to cover my debts. At this age, I feel stuck. It is hard to believe that someone who believed in God from an early age could grow up to become a nobody.

Where is God? Where is my God?

One day, I traveled to Accra because that is where the money is. I just wanted a better place for myself. But for seven years, nothing good has come from it.

The worst part is what happened on my way there. I had even said a word of prayer to God for my journey. But then the worst thing happened; I was graped. I have never felt so much shame in my entire life

I want to know, is this how everybody’s life is? Am I the only one who did not get lucky as a Christian?

When I open my mouth, I speak life. I believe there is power in the tongue, so I speak positively into other people’s lives. I motivate and encourage them, and they become better. People see me as a woman of God, an Osofo Maame.

But unfortunately, I have become nothing. I constantly borrow or beg my younger siblings and friends for financial help. I am always happy for others, but I do not know when people will be happy for me.

When I was 15, I was attacked by a strange sickness. I battled it for almost 10 years, but I did not give up on God. I kept holding on to my faith, believing He would take care of all my needs.

I was diagnosed with depression at 17 at Ankaful Psychiatric Hospital. Then, I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder at 30. I have a very painful sore in my stomach that I have lived with for about 8 years. This illness keeps me broke. I live on drugs. I have tried every medication, foreign and local, yet it does not get better. I have prayed about this illness, sown seeds for it, declared healing, yet it acts as if it does not fear God. I fear I might die from this sickness. God might never heal me. I buy drugs with the little money I make from my private teaching job.

Where is God? Where is the God of Israel? Why is my life like this?

I completed tertiary school 10 years ago, but you would not believe how many times I have been rejected for good jobs. I have dealt with a lot of disappointments. The most recent one is a managerial position I just lost. I thought it was God saying “this is your time,” but once again, I lost it.

The most painful part is the loss of my mother. She didn’t have much but, she was a caring woman, my only source of inspiration. She believed in me, prayed for me, and wished me well. She supported me when I had nothing. She fed me and gave me a place to lay my head. But she died.

I wonder what else life wants to throw at me. This time, I am tired.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The pain and disappointments are becoming my everyday life. I feel so overwhelmed.

I feel disappointed, but I do not know if I am disappointed in my life, in life itself, or in God.

I am not perfect. I know God loves every sinner, but I feel like I am the only sinner God hates the most. I laugh a lot, but behind my smile is a story you will never understand. I just want to let my pain out and let my tears flow. I am a broken Christian. My smile hides a thousand tears.

I am so broken that I am no longer sure what I want in this life. All I want from God is for him to give me a better life. Not situations that keep breaking me and messing my life up. But that is what I always get.

—Martha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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When I found out I was pregnant, I told Richard I would have the baby. “I am not going to force you to take responsibility if you don’t want to be a part of this.” He said, “I am not going anywhere. We had this baby together so we will deal with the aftermath as a team.” He asked me to come and stay with him. Out of love and hope that we would someday get married, I did.

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Along the line, he started having second thoughts. We would get into arguments and he would tell me to go and remove the pregnancy. I refused to listen to him. I felt he was only reacting to the pressure of unplanned parenthood.

By the time I had the baby, he had lost his job. All the financial responsibilities of taking care of the home fell on me. I also took care of the hospital bills and everything our newborn needed. Despite the challenges, we had a fairly peaceful family. We were happy when he was in a good mood.

By that I mean, one day we had a heated argument. It wasn’t the first time we argued. It also wasn’t the first time he insulted me. Definitely not the first time he hit me. This time though, he hit me in the eye. The impact was hard enough to knock me out.

I kept telling myself he was frustrated, because he was broke and lost. I didn’t want to leave while he was down. I wanted him to stand on his feet before I would decide whether or not to leave him.

Three years have passed. He’s getting back on his feet now, but the insults and the abuse still creep in. I used to love him regardless but this year something inside me has changed. I know I deserve better than to be treated as a punching bag.

One other thing that contributed to my waning interest in him was how often he told me he was not going to marry me. Sometimes he would say, “You don’t make me happy. Pack your things and leave my life.”

There is a guy I went to school with. He reached out to me out of the blue. Because of the emotional toll of my relationship, I engaged him. There was nothing amorous about our conversations. Just regular friendly conversations that made me smile and reminded me that there are people out there who care about me.

Richard went through my phone one night and saw our chat. He woke me up and initiated intimacy. When we finished and lay down panting for breath, he asked why I was entertaining another man. Before I could even speak, a punch landed on my eye. I didn’t get space to regain my composure before another one followed. When he landed the third punch, I bled through my nose.

I couldn’t see for three days. Even after one month, I was still in pain. He came begging for forgiveness when he recovered but I want nothing to do with him anymore. Every time he touches me, that night flashes before my eyes like it just happened.

Now, leaving is the problem. My daughter is attached to him. She loves her father, and it breaks my heart when I think about taking her away. He provides for food, but every little misunderstanding turns into complaints about how he does everything for us.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I’m not trying to paint him as a monster. He has tried in his own way. But living with him now feels like living inside a wound that refuses to close. I have my own job. I’ve contributed financially to the household and I still do that. If I leave, I would be fine without his support.

I just happen to feel stuck because I don’t want to separate our little girl from her father. Is this a good reason to stay with such a man? I just feel so guilty when the thought crosses my mind.

—Sarah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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When Cosmos first asked me out, I was hesitant. We worked in the same office so I didn’t like the idea. We all enter relationships hoping it will end in a happily ever after but in the event that it doesn’t, what do you do when you have to share the same space with your ex? That’s why I turned him down the first time.

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He was relentless though. He kept talking about how his intentions toward me were honourable. “I won’t do you dirty,” he promised. He would take me to lunch and spend time getting me to open up to him about my life. Before I knew it, my resolve had thawed. I said yes to his proposal, all my what-ifs out of the window.

The red flags started popping up when we had our first fight. Instead of resolving issues peacefully, he blocked me. It took days before he got out of his feelings and began talking to me again. He didn’t explain or apologise for his silence. He just picked up the relationship as if nothing had happened.

I wasn’t happy with his attitude but I considered all the times he was good and decided not to make a big deal out of his behaviour. If only I knew it was just the tip of the iceberg.

Our relationship for over two years followed the tune. He blocked me every single time we fought. Sometimes he was gone for weeks and other times he was gone for months.

I held on because when he was good, he was really good. He could be caring. He could be present. Those moments kept me believing that maybe he just needed time to learn how to love me right.

But this year, things got worse.

A small argument happened not long ago. Nothing serious. But he reacted in a way that shocked me. He denied knowing me to a lady who asked about us. He accused me of things I had never done. Then he blocked me again.

This time, he even went a step further and cut off every way I could reach him. I called him through different means. I sent him several messages but through different avenues but he ignored all of them.

Around the same time, I started hearing stories from other women in the office. They spoke about how he broke their hearts after they got involved with him. I wouldn’t have believed them if I too was not nursing the heartbreak he gave me.

One week after our misunderstanding, I saw him making advances at a new girl in the company. She has been here for less than five months. She is also my junior. I trained her myself.

I confronted him when I saw them together but he denied everything. He said they were not even friends. “Then stay away from her. You are getting a bad reputation in the workplace.”

He didn’t listen to me. In fact, things got worse. One day, I saw them with my own eyes. They stood close to each other laughing, talking in undertones as if they were lovers. In that moment, my heart dropped.

I broke down. I sent him messages asking why he would do this to me. I expected at least a conversation. Cosmos ignored me completely.

Now we work in the same space, and I have to see him all the time. I watch him chat and laugh with other ladies like I never meant anything to him. I watch him live his life while I’m here trying to hold myself together. It hurts more than I can explain.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I want to walk away. I want to heal. But how do you heal when the person who hurt you is in your building every day? How do you move on when you can’t avoid seeing him?

I feel foolish for loving him when all the signs were there. This whole thing is breaking me down paa. I just want advice on how to let go of a man who promised me forever, only to jump to another woman after two years. Seeing him every day is so unbearable.
\n

—Cookie

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", "keywords": ", Hate, That, Have, See, Everyday, With, Other, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "46", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/IMG_1921.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-hate-that-i-have-to-see-my-ex-everyday-with-other-women/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-02 03:47:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "124193", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Was 8 Months Pregnant, Married For 5 Months When I Discovered My Husband Was Married", "title_slug": "i-was-8-months-pregnant-married-for-5-months-when-i-discovered-my-husband-was-married", "title_hash": "99404e940de60469f70bae74ffc89990", "summary": "I met Tony at a time in my life when I was not even looking for love. I was twenty-seven, young, focused on building myself, and very sure I didn’t …", "content": "

I met Tony at a time in my life when I was not even looking for love. I was twenty-seven, young, focused on building myself, and very sure I didn’t want anything to do with an older man. But Tony was persistent, alarmingly persistent. Every day after our mutual friend gave him my number, he called. Morning, afternoon, evening. Sometimes he would text, “Please, just one date,” as if his entire future depended on it.

He was forty. I kept telling myself, “Frema, this man is too old for you,” but something about the way he spoke—calm, mature, gentle—made me soften. So when I finally said yes to one date, I wasn’t expecting anything magical. But that day changed everything. He was funny, attentive, charming. He carried my bag without asking. He spoke as though he had lived many lives and learned from all of them. I went home thinking, “Maybe age is just a number after all.”

Before I agreed to date him officially, I asked the friend who introduced us, “Are you sure Tony is a good guy?” She answered, “I haven’t known him for that long. So you have to decide for yourself.”

Maybe I should have taken that as a warning, but I was in love now, or so I believed. It was when we started dating that Tony told me he had lived in the UK for ten years and finally returned home to settle. I admired him for that. When I asked why he came back, he responded with a patriotic grin, “Home sweet home. Ghana is where my soul rests.” Right there, I knew I had found a good man, someone who had traveled, seen the world, and still chose family and simplicity.

Five months later, I got pregnant. I was terrified. Not because I didn’t love him, but because I was raised in a home where you don’t give birth before marriage. I thought Tony would panic. But when I told him, he said, “Keep it. In my family, we don’t abort.” I told him, “In my family, we don’t give birth outside marriage.” So we agreed to have a traditional wedding and later sign in court. The pregnancy was less than three months when we rushed through a traditional marriage. When it got to the court signing, Tony kept postponing it. “Work is stressing me,” he would say. “Let me sort out a few things.” I agreed. After all, men think differently. I didn’t want to appear nagging.

Then one day, everything shattered. I found out by accident that Tony had a wife and a child in the UK. I felt my heart stop. My vision blurred. I was eight months pregnant and five months married. I couldn’t breathe. I asked him calmly, too calmly for the storm inside me, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He answered, “We broke up three years ago. I didn’t mention it because the marriage didn’t exist when I met you.”

I screamed until I thought the baby would fall out. “Show me the divorce papers!” I yelled. And Tony, without shame, replied, “It’s in court. By the end of the year everything will be finished.”

That was three years ago.

The divorce “is still in court.” His wife still wears her ring. She still uses his surname on social media. She still speaks to him freely and comfortably. When I contacted her on the phone to know the truth from her own mouth, she told me that she knew about our marriage before I walked into it. She said, “We are divorcing but not divorced yet. Don’t worry, dear.”

That was also three years ago, but today, her TikTok account boldly shows Tony’s surname, and my husband—or I should say our husband—talks to her like nothing is wrong.

When I complain, he says, “We share a child. I send child support. That’s why we talk a lot.”
\nWhen I ask why she’s still using his surname, he says, “It takes time to change documents in the UK.”
\nWhen I ask why she still wears her ring, he says, “I can’t explain that. She’s the only one who can explain.”

Every answer makes me feel like a fool.

We sleep in separate rooms now. For over a month, I’ve refused his touch, but he’s calm, relaxed, unbothered, as if the entire marriage is on pause until I “get over it.” Meanwhile, I’m burning inside. Angry every day. Bitter every morning. Crying quietly at night. I feel like the second wife, the placeholder, the woman who married a man who belongs to someone else.

Just a few days ago he said, “I want us to have a second child, but you’re keeping yourself away from me.” I told him, “Not until I see divorce evidence. No ring on her finger, no surname on her page, no court excuses. Until then, nothing.” He didn’t argue. He simply shrugged. The same shrug that breaks me more than any insult ever could.

Sometimes I stare at him asleep and wonder, “Does he still love her? Does he wish he never left? Am I living with a man whose heart is still in the UK?” I keep asking myself what more I am supposed to do. I’ve confronted him, prayed about it, begged him, fought him, reasoned with him, even involved family members. Nothing changes. He lives in comfort, while I live in emotional chaos.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I want my marriage to work, God knows I do. I didn’t come into a married man’s life willingly. I entered believing I was the only woman. I entered with trust, innocence, and hope. And now I’m stuck between staying with a man whose past is still active, and leaving a marriage I built with pain and sacrifice.

I ask myself every day: How do I get my husband? How do I become the only woman? How do I stop this ghost marriage from overshadowing my own? The truth is, I don’t know. But I know I’m tired of being the wife who is fighting a woman who never left.

—Frema

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*****

", "keywords": ", Was, Months, Pregnant, Married, For, Months, When, Discovered, Husband, Was, Married", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/46758.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-was-8-months-pregnant-married-for-5-months-when-i-discovered-my-husband-was-married/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-02 03:47:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "124192", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Keep Loving Women With Haunted Bodies", "title_slug": "i-keep-loving-women-with-haunted-bodies", "title_hash": "0863d2e8a24d0fe7ea0b81ea51957927", "summary": "In 2014, I lost my girlfriend to mental illness. That girl… she was the best relationship I ever had. We had big dreams for our future until she experienced an …", "content": "

In 2014, I lost my girlfriend to mental illness. That girl… she was the best relationship I ever had. We had big dreams for our future until she experienced an episode. It wasn’t easy to handle.

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Despite her happy and bubbly personality, she had a lot of demons. Before our relationship began, she opened up to me about her past. She said she was violated twice. “I am talking about it now because I am fine. I have healed.”

I believed her until her PTSD was triggered. I became a stranger to her. She wanted nothing to do with me. “It’s me, babe. I have been by your side all this time. Let me hold your hand through this too,” I said as I tried to hold on to the love we shared. It didn’t work. It was as if she did not recognize me.

It was one of the toughest seasons of my life. As much as I cared, I eventually had to pick myself up and move on. Till today, she still struggles to maintain relationships because of her episodes.

Over a decade after my relationship with her, I’m about to marry a wonderful woman. A truly beautiful soul who has stood by me, lifted me, and brought me peace in places I didn’t even know were wounded. My family loves her. I’ve even gone for the dowry list—everything is set.

But then something happened when we agreed to get intimate for the first time. We had gone through foreplay and were ready to go all the way. The moment I got close, she clamped her legs shut. At first, I thought it was just first-time shyness so I left her alone.

When we tried it another time, she did the thing with her legs again. I asked what was wrong but she wouldn’t say. The whole thing kept happening over and over again until she finally gathered the courage to tell me the truth.

“The only sexual experience I ever had was forced on me by someone I trusted. I try to bury the memories but they come alive when you touch me. It disgusts me to remember his touch.”

She says she sees him. She feels everything all over again.

I don’t know how to help her. This is the second time I have loved a woman who is haunted by the ghost of another man’s cruelty. I lost the battle the first time. I would hate to lose again a second time.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

She keeps saying she’s fine, but clearly, she’s not. I don’t want to abandon her, but I’m scared. What if she gets triggered and shuts me out like my ex did. I don’t want to relive the same heartbreak I went through years ago.

People talk about therapy in these situations. I want to know if therapy can actually help her. If I am going to marry her, then I need to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

—Potiphar

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#SB

", "keywords": ", Keep, Loving, Women, With, Haunted, Bodies", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/IMG_1936.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-keep-loving-women-with-haunted-bodies/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-02 03:47:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "123588", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Golfers", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-golfers", "title_hash": "a149619573f77c329f1a1aa90b435ee4", "summary": "Everything You Need to Put a Smile on Your Golfer Friend's Face", "content": "If you’re shopping for a golfer and you aren’t one yourself, picking the right gift can be tricky. Golf is an unusual sport, with its own unique language, fashion style, and culture, and golfers are notoriously particular (sometimes even superstitious), which can make finding them the perfect gift unnecessarily tricky.\nDon’t worry, though: we’ve put together a comprehensive list of golfer gifts for every budget, chosen specifically to please the avid golfer who keeps up with the latest trends and takes his game seriously. Big note here, though: we’ve deliberately not chosen any golf clubs, since picking out the right brand, let alone specifics like shaft whip or club loft, is something best done in conversation with the golfer.\nRELATED: Best Christmas Gifts for Him\nWhat follows, then, are the best golf gear, equipment and course accessories across a wide variety of styles and price points. You’ll find smaller items that are perfect for a stocking stuffer, or larger, big ticket items that will make your golfer boyfriend, husband or father light up with delight.\n\n The Best Golf Gear, Training Aids & Accessories\n\nDivot Board Mini\n\nThe original Divot Board is one of the most popular golf training aids ever created, a simple way to check your club path, whether or not you hit a ball, that works both indoors and outdoors. The newly-released Divot Board Mini takes that same great concept and miniaturizes it, adding portability while cutting cost. It's the perfect under-the-tree gift for the golfer looking for way to improve his game in the offseason. \n$59.99 at DivotBoard.com \nRapsodo MLM2PRO\n\nLaunch monitors are notoriously expensive, but they’re also rapidly dropping in price, even as their quality improves year after year. Rapsodo has been nailing that sweet spot between affordability and performance for years, and the MLM2PRO is the latest evidence. Featuring a dual optical setup with radar processing, the MLM2PRO tracks 15 swing metrics, simulates upwards of 30,000 golf courses and two virtual ranges, and even offers multi-angle swing replays, so you can dial in your technique. \n$699.99 at Rapsodo.com \nHeathlander Golf Shoe\n\nSimultaneously eye-catchingly good looking and supremely comfortable, the Heathlander Golf Shoe takes the classic golf shoe silhouette and adds a touch of flair, using a combination of contrasting colors to liven up its look. Tech-wise, there's a proprietary rubber outsole with 9mm tread that offers stability in all lies and weather conditions, a shock-absorbing Pebax insole that will have you feel like you're walking on a cloud, even deep into the back nine, and excellent weather-proofing, to ensure your feet stay dry. Instead of a drab cardboard box, these shoes even come with their own zip-up nylon bag, making them stylish even in transport. \n$294 at Heathlander.com \nForesight Sport GC3S Launch Monitor\n\nIf you're looking to splurge on your golfing friend (or husband?), especially as part of a home golf sim setup, the GC3S from Foresight Sports is a dream launch monitor. With precision ball-reading technology, you get crucial ball data like carry, ball speed, launch angle and spin axis, as well as extremely useful club data like path and angle of attack. As a simulator, the GC3S comes with a one-year Gold subscription, granting you access to 25 courses meticulously ported to the virtual world.\n$3,799 at ForesightSports.com \nWearSPF Tee Time Bundle\n\nOn the best of days, when the weather is calm and the sun is shining, golf is a joy to play, but your 4+ hours in the sun can do serious damage to your skin, in the short and the long term, which is why we recommend WearSPF, created by PGA legend Justin Thomas to help golfers enjoy a round in the sun responsibly. Their Tee Time Bundle includes lip balm, a 30 SPF sunscreen and 30 SPF sunscreen stick, and a WearSPF-branded sleeve of Titleist Pro V1 balls, making it the ideal gift for any golfer this holiday season. \n$62 at WearSPF.com \nVice The Four Forces Variety Pack\n\nTired of confusing your ball with a playing partner’s ball? Sick of having a hard time spotting your ball in the rough? Or maybe you just want to personalize your gear with unique golf balls that not only look great but play great too? Vice’s Four Forces Variety Pack offers four special edition golf balls in vibrant, distinctive colors. Even better, this limited edition collector’s set is currently 13% off for Black Friday. \n$165.28 at ViceGolf.com \nBalanced Co. Tap It In Mallet Cover\n\nHeadcovers are a great way to show a little personality, and who doesn’t love Adam Sandler’s beloved character Happy Gilmore? And since the sequel has finished filming, this is a gift that’s about to become very topical. \n$34.95 at Amazon.com \nSKLZ Golf Grip Trainer\n\nWorld #1 Scottie Scheffler still regularly goes back to basics with a grip training aid, so rest assured, no matter what your skill or experience level, you can always benefit from improving your grip. This club attachment from SKLZ helps develop your muscle memory for the perfect grip, so you have less to think about when you’re out on the course. \n$17.99 at Amazon.com \nPuttOUT Premium Pressure Putt Trainer\n\nAs the saying goes, you drive for show but you putt for dough. If you or a friend need to hone their skills with the short stick, this portable pressure trainer from PuttOUT is an excellent, inexpensive option, helping you work on not only accuracy but distance control as well. \n$29.99 at Amazon.com \nTitleist Pro V1x Golf Balls (24-Pack)\n\nThe Pro V1 is the quintessential pro golf ball, far and away the most popular option on the PGA tour, but trust us: golfers of all abilities will be thrilled to unwrap a box of these. They manage to offer both excellent distance off the tee and outrageous bite on the greens, which makes these balls basically flawless, and well worth the high price tag.\n$109.98 at Amazon.com \nCaddy Splash Golf Club Brush Cleaner\n\nIf you’re after a stocking stuffer or just want an inexpensive gift for a friend or colleague who golfs, pick up this cleaning brush from Caddy Splash. It’s extremely useful, guaranteed to be used multiple times per round, and also well made, with a 4-ounce squeeze bottle offering an easy cleaning solution for dirty, divot-ridden irons.\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \nFootJoy Pure Touch Golf Gloves\n\nWhen it comes to golf gloves, there’s a funny sweet spot: you want something well-made enough to protect your hands and improve your grip, but inexpensive enough not to bother you when it inevitably falls apart from all the wear and tear. For years, FootJoy have made the gloves that best strike this balance, and their Pure Touch line is no exception. \nFrom $32.95 at Amazon.com \nPride Professional Tee System Standard, 75 Count\n\nAnother great stocking stuffer option, these tees from Pride Professional made from 100% natural hardwood, offering great feel and excellent durability. They’re also long enough to tee high, for those golfers who really like to go for broke off the tee box.\n$7.99 at Amazon.com \nShip Sticks Gift Card\n\nEvery golfer dreams of the perfect golf vacation, to a faraway resort or a top-100 dream course like Pebble Beach or St Andrews, but the logistics of traveling with your expensive, easily damaged, easily stolen bag of clubs can border on the nightmarish, which is exactly why Ship Sticks is so fantastic. Their door-to-door service will take all of the hassle and anxiety out of shipping your clubs to your destination, with both insurance and tracking info to give you the maximum peace of mind, which makes their gift cards an easy, fantastic and much-appreciated gift this holiday season. \nFrom $50 at ShipSticks.com \nClean Flight Premium Golf Ball Washer\n\nFile this one under the category of practical, which is something all golfers appreciate. Most but not all courses have ball cleaners, and even those that supply them often do a poor job keeping them in good working order, so having a portable ball cleaner to call your own is a great way to improve your putting or hit purer, straighter drives. \n$37.99 at Amazon.com \nPins & Aces Santa Degenerate Driver Cover\n\nRemember how we said headcovers are a great way to show off your personality? Well, if you’re shopping for a friend with a sense of humor (or a drinking problem?), they’ll love this gag cover from Pins & Aces.\n$85 at PinsAndAces.com \nArccos Smart Sensors\n\nGolf has been absolutely revolutionized by technology, from launch monitors to range finders, but if you’re looking to get granular data about your game and precise numbers on all your irons, there’s no better option than the Arccos Smart Sensor system. Each kit includes 14 convenient sensors that easily plug into the top of each of your golf club handles, allowing their AI-powered technology to track your shots, measure your distances, and offer helpful suggestions about where you should focus your training to shave the most strokes off your score. \n$159 at Amazon.com \nREDTIGER Rangefinder\n\nRangefinders went from expensive luxuries to affordable necessities in a few short years, and our favorite for the vast majority of golfers, of every skill level, is the REDTIGER Rangefinder. It boasts a crazy, 1200-yard range, 7x magnification, and a flag pole locking technology that helps you get accurate reads quickly and effortlessly. We also love the provided hardshell carrying case and magnetic strip, allowing you to attach this rangefinder to your golf cart for easy access.\n$159.99 at Amazon.com \nYETI Roadie 15 Hard Cooler\n\nGranted, a cooler isn’t exactly a golf-specific gift, but it’s basically an open secret that many amateur golfers use their three-to-five hours on the course as a great opportunity to crack a few brews with the boys, and that requires a cooler. YETI’s Roadie is the perfect size for the rear of a golf cart, while still offering ample carrying capacity for water, soft drinks or beer.\n$200 at Amazon.com \nSun Day Red Pioneer Cypress Shoes\n\nWhen the greatest to ever play the sport of golf creates his own brand, you better believe people take notice. Sun Day Red is a luxury golf brand, with each item commanding an appropriately high price, but their golf shoes are the closest item they have to a value option. Yes, they’re pricey, but the quality is evident from the moment you open the box. Full-grain, waterproof leather keeps your feet dry, while calfskin leather on the inside helps prevent blisters, even after a full day on the course. And the looks? Yeah, pure Tiger Woods. We dig them, and so will whoever you buy them for, guaranteed.\n$250 at SunDayRed.com \nReebok Nano Golf\n\nBuilt from the DNA of Reebok’s best-selling Nano training shoe and repped by one of golf’s most dynamic and explosive athletes, Bryson DeChambeau, the Nano Golf brings comfort and style to the links, using their proprietary Floatride performance foam to cushion your feet as you walk 18 or 36 holes, while a TPU shank and raised lugs help stabilize your foot, even in wet bunkers.\n$99.99 at Reebok.com \nBag Boy Nitron Push Cart\n\nIf your golfer likes to walk the course rather than take a ride, they’re sure to appreciate the Bag Boy Nitron. This full-featured push cart packs up easily, making it easy to take to the course, but once unfolded it offers a ton of useful on-course features, including extra storage, an umbrella holder, a scorecard and pencil holder, a dedicated space to keep your phone, and a deep cupholder. The three-wheel design is extremely easy to navigate, even uphill, while the brakes are secure and easy to activate. \n$299.95 at Amazon.com \nGhost Golf Anyday Oreo Bag\n\nGhost is one of the “little guys” competing against more established brands like Callaway, TaylorMade and Titleist, but whereas those brands focus on clubs and make golf bags an afterthought, Ghost has put its entire heart and soul into crafting the most practical, good looking golf bags they can. The Anyday Oreo Bag is a perfect case-in-point, offering both striking aesthetics and a wide array of convenience features, from your choice of a 7- or 14-way club divider to a magnetic pocket for faster access to your rangefinder and a velcro glove holder. \n$415 at GhostGolf.com \nGarmin Approach R10\n\nLaunch monitors have absolutely revolutionized golf, giving average golfers and instructors alike the kind of granular data that helps people gain an intimate knowledge of their swing’s strengths and weaknesses, but for a very long time, they were prohibitively expensive. Garmin has helped bring golf data to the masses with the Approach R10, an affordable, portable launch monitor that gives you all the important data, from club head speed to launch angle and ball spin. Combine it with the Garmin app and you’ll be able to track your progress as your narrow your dispersion or strive to increase your carry distance. \n$599.99 at Amazon.com \nVessel Player V Pro Stand Bag\n\nThe Vessel Player V Pro was arguably the most beloved golf bag of last year, improving on its predecessor in basically every way. Yes, it’s pricey, but the premium materials and design more than justify the price tag. It’s presently available in seven gorgeous colorways, as well as your choice of a 7-way or 14-way club divider, but no matter which version you go with, you’ll get carbon fiber stand legs, a dedicated cart strap pass-through to keep your bag in pristine condition, multiple quick-access, magnetic pockets, and two cooler-lined sleeves to keep your on-course beverages chilled through your entire round. \n$489 at VesselGolf.com \nYou Might Also Dig:\n \nBest Stocking Stuffers for MenUnique Christmas Gift IdeasBest Books to Buy Men for the Holidays", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Golfers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gifting/holidays/best-gifts-for-golfers/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764600482.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gifting/holidays/best-gifts-for-golfers.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-02 03:13:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "123319", "lang_id": "1", "title": "America’s Most Basic HIV Protections are in Danger as a Decade of Progress Unravels", "title_slug": "americas-most-basic-hiv-protections-are-in-danger-as-a-decade-of-progress-unravels", "title_hash": "d34819e0897663c08a96e76ad015474d", "summary": "Health experts are alarmed as Republicans degrade the country’s pivotal HIV programs—and break promises made during Trump’s first term. \nThe post America’s Most Basic HIV Protections are in Danger as a Decade of Progress Unravels appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This story was originally reported by Orion Rummler of The 19th, and republished through Rewire News Group‘s partnership with The 19th News Network.

\n\n\n\n

Decades of progress in HIV treatment and prevention in the United States is being derailed by the Trump administration, public health experts say—and without reversing course, the damage will be devastating.

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Threats to key federal programs are unfolding just as science has significantly advanced how easily patients can treat and manage HIV—leaving experts deeply frustrated. The development of a vaccine, which researchers believed was closer than ever to becoming a reality, is now dead in its tracks. A twice-yearly dose of PrEP to prevent HIV, approved by the Food and Drug Administration this year, is expected to have significant benefits—but experts are concerned about who will be able to afford this drug. Millions of Americans are expected to lose health-care coverage due to Trump’s federal spending cuts.

\n\n\n\n

Employees at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have reportedly been tasked with dismantling their own work at the agency’s HIV prevention division. Researchers at the state level are also struggling. At one of the country’s oldest and largest historically Black medical schools in Tennessee, $2 million in federal HIV research funding has been scrapped. Federal programs funding the country’s pivotal HIV services are in danger of being defunded or eliminated completely.

\n\n\n\n

On top of these cuts, Medicaid, the single largest source of insurance coverage for adults with HIV in the country, has been slashed—creating a dire situation for HIV-positive Americans. About 4 in 10 Americans living with HIV rely on Medicaid. New paperwork requirements go into effect in 2027, which advocates expect will keep many people from renewing their coverage or enrolling at all.

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“For HIV-positive people right now, I think this is a very depressing moment,” said Perry Halkitis, dean of the Rutgers School of Public Health. “All of the energy and all of the excitement we’ve had about bringing an end to the AIDS epidemic … that has just completely had the wind taken out of its sails.”

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Health experts are watching with fear and confusion as Republicans are undermining the country’s baseline HIV prevention infrastructure. Without key federal programs, they say, the system will collapse. In particular, the CDC performs certain functions that cannot be replaced or replicated anywhere else—like monitoring for new HIV cases on a national scale, getting funds to state health agencies, and promoting HIV testing on a large scale. If these services lose funding, then outbreaks will go unchecked, experts say.

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“There will be more consequences. There will be people who get diagnosed later, perhaps already with opportunistic infections and showing up into emergency rooms already sick, harkening back to a much darker and more visible and more deadly version of the epidemic, and that will be directly because these services have been cut,” said Jeremiah Johnson, executive director of PrEP4All. “It really threatens to undermine everything.”

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Opportunistic infections target people with weakened immune systems, including those with HIV. These conditions can lead to an AIDS diagnosis, the most serious stage of an HIV infection. Some of the most common opportunistic infections are thrush, lung infections, and tuberculosis.

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The White House has proposed shutting down HIV prevention and surveillance at the CDC as part of its federal budget proposal. In Congress, House Republicans have gone even further. Their budget proposal would eliminate the federal program launched during President Donald Trump’s first term that has strived to significantly reduce new HIV infections. House Republicans also want to axe core parts of the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Program, which is considered the fallback option when people with HIV lose access to their health-care coverage. The breadth of these proposed cuts, which would strip the country’s most foundational HIV programs of nearly $2 billion, have shocked longtime advocates and experts.

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“The vitriol and hostility they have towards HIV prevention work is unprecedented,” said Matthew Rose, senior public policy advocate at the Human Rights Campaign. “It is breaking with a time-honored Washington consensus that HIV is a bipartisan issue.”

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During his first term, Trump struck a deal to get free PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, to uninsured Americans living with HIV. At his State of the Union address in 2019, he pledged to end the HIV epidemic in the United States by 2030—largely through the program that House Republicans are currently looking to shutter. Now, these promises seem to be forgotten.

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Some attribute this abrupt change to the stark difference in staffing between Trump’s first and second terms. There are more loyalists, more newcomers to government, and less of the old conservative guard. During his first term, Bush-era staffers who cared about this issue were still around, Rose said; but in his view, that same compassion is just not evident in the MAGA crowd.

\n\n\n\n

“They are sort of scarred and hostile towards public health after the whole COVID situation,” said Rose, who has worked as a health equity and HIV patient advocate for over a decade. “There’s not a nicer way to say it, they just seem to be hostile to the concept of public health.”

\n\n\n\n

The Trump administration is also newly fixated on rolling back the rights of transgender people and immigrants in ways that will hurt health-care access across the board, Rose and other experts said. Trans and gender non-conforming people are at a high risk of acquiring HIV and are disproportionately impacted by the virus, due to economic discrimination that leaves many without health care. But trans people are being excluded and erased from government websites, from health grant research, and now from official communication about groundbreaking HIV prevention.

\n\n\n\n

The CDC’s endorsement of a new PrEP drug, which is available in a twice-yearly dose instead of a daily pill or an injection every three months, does not mention transgender people at all. This absence struck Lindsey Dawson, director of LGBTQ+ health policy at KFF, as odd. Clinical trials for this drug included trans and nonbinary people to ensure that it would be tested by those most likely to use and need it. Now that context is missing.

\n\n\n\n

This exclusion is likely a result of the White House executive order stating that the government recognizes only two sexes, Dawson said. That order signaled the Trump administration’s opposition to gender diversity and tasked federal agencies with excluding trans people from laws that protect against sex discrimination. The order also equates being transgender to an ideology, or belief system, instead of an identity that is protected by state and federal law.

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The twice-yearly PrEP drug has a lot of potential to expand access to HIV prevention, Dawson said, but the CDC’s endorsement could thwart that access by limiting it for a high-risk group. The White House is creating an environment of fear for transgender patients and their doctors, experts say—and if trans people are too afraid to be honest with their doctor, then they won’t access the treatments they need.

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“Politically, the communities that we serve are under direct attack on so many fronts,” Johnson of PrEP4All said. At the same time, public health is facing unprecedented trust issues and politicization, he said. Ending the HIV epidemic is still possible, he said, but amid all these factors, so is the likelihood of a resurgence of the epidemic.

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“You don’t really appreciate just how protected you are, so long as you have the infrastructure there,” Johnson said. “We don’t want to learn the hard way what happens when you take that away.”

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Americans living with HIV face high medical costs—which most can’t afford. One 2021 study estimated the average lifetime HIV-related medical costs for a single person to be over $420,000. Without lifelines like the Ryan White program or Medicaid coverage, HIV-positive people will be on their own; and nonprofits and state programs will have to fill in the gaps where they can.

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Lyndel Urbano, senior director of public policy and government relations at Amida Care, a Medicaid health insurance plan in New York, has already felt some of this pressure. His job has been especially hard this year. Mounting pressures threaten how Americans are able to access health care overall, he said, including how they can access HIV treatment and prevention—which is the main focus of his organization.

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“Not that long ago, HIV was really a death sentence,” Urbano said. “We’ve gotten to the point where you can treat HIV, you can prevent HIV relatively easily with medical and behavioral interventions. We have right now the kind of tools that can get us to the end of HIV … the challenge is, people need to access those mechanisms.”

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Without that access, experts expect more Americans to suffer and get needlessly sick, despite readily available treatments and preventative measures that could help them.

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The post America’s Most Basic HIV Protections are in Danger as a Decade of Progress Unravels appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "America’s, Most, Basic, HIV, Protections, are, Danger, Decade, Progress, Unravels", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/shutterstock_2452807617-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/12/01/americas-most-basic-hiv-protections-are-in-danger-as-a-decade-of-progress-unravels/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 10:39:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122855", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Talk Gambit: Leaving Her Room to Breathe", "title_slug": "sex-talk-gambit-leaving-her-room-to-breathe", "title_hash": "7e9978e6bd1ea8653e3054c6062bae6b", "summary": "Turn a girl on by contrasting yourself with other, possessive men (whom she has surely encountered). Frame yourself as the confident alternative & SEDUCE.\nHey guys.\nToday, back to sex talk gambits. I know they make popular posts, especially for the more advanced readership.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"leaving$ Turn a girl on by contrasting yourself with other, possessive men (whom she has surely encountered). Frame yourself as the confident alternative & SEDUCE.

Hey guys.

Today, back to sex talk gambits. I know they make popular posts, especially for the more advanced readership.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Gambit:, Leaving, Her, Room, Breathe", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/sex-talk-room-to-breathe-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-gambit-leaving-her-room-breathe", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:55:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122852", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Cities for Singles", "title_slug": "best-cities-for-singles", "title_hash": "7fc577c013460ed53e50b775fb0eee3d", "summary": "Here are the 10 best cities to live if you're single.", "content": "Dating can be tough, it’s true. Rejection, mixed messages, ghosting… don’t even get us started on situationships. \r\nBut what if your romantic struggles aren’t your fault, but where you’re living? New survey data shows that certain cities are, well, just more dater-friendly than others. \r\nWalletHub recently compared more than 180 U.S. cities across 35 key indicators of dating-friendliness. \r\nThe categories included economics (everything from the cost of a two-person meal at a restaurant to the average cost for a haircut), fun and recreation (access to attractions, restaurants, coffee and tea shops, etc.) and population statistics (like the number of single people living in said city, plus how active that population is on dating apps). \r\nThe top-ranking cities on this list were interestingly spread out across the country and couldn't be more different from one another. \r\nRELATED: AskMen's Ultimate First-Date Guide\r\nSo if you’re considering a move to give your love life a jumpstart, here's a look at the top five best U.S. cities for singles, and why they made the cut. \r\n5. Tampa, Florida\r\nTampa's large population of single people, combined with easy access to fun and a moderate cost of living, earns it the number five spot on this list. \r\nRecent data shows that around 42% of Tampa's residents are currently single. Access to free beaches and public parks helps set the scene for affordable dating. Think romantic sunset strolls on the beach, or a picnic in one of Tampa's 2,000 acres of green space. Walkable attractions like the Riverwalk or the historic streets of Ybor City increase your chances of meeting someone out in the wild. \r\nTampa's economy is stable and growing, according to recent reports, which means many daters here have the leeway to spend money on hobbies and attractions that this city affords. \r\nWhether you prefer to bond over water-based sports like paddleboarding, fall in love dancing the night away at one of Tampa's many nightclubs or enjoy live music at a festival hosted by this city, there are no shortage of date options for singles in Tampa to partake in. \r\nThe French call love at first sight a “coup de foudre” — like being hit by lightning. With the local pro hockey team being called the Lightning, maybe Tampa’s where you’ll find yourself truly thunderstruck by that loving feeling…\r\n4. Pittsburgh, PA\r\nPittsburgh's combination of economic affordability, high single population and wide variety of recreational offerings makes it a strong option, ranking fourth on this list. \r\nThe average one-bedroom in Pittsburgh rents for around $1,500 per month, with median incomes averaging around $70,000 per household. \r\nPair the low cost of living with access to plenty of fun and activities that won't break the bank, and it's easy to see why dating in Pittsburgh earns high marks. \r\nThe city's parks and green spaces offer cash-strapped singles a variety of free romantic date options. For instance, Pittsburgh's Three Rivers Park spans over 800 acres, offering numerous interconnected trails for exploration. \r\nDowntown, the cultural district offers theatres, restaurants, art galleries and wine bars that cost noticeably less than other cities on this list. Plus, Over 50% of Pittsburgh's residents are single, with a high population of daters who are active on online dating platforms. \r\n3. Seattle, WA\r\nSeattle comes in strong at number three, boasting a standout number of attractions, restaurants, and fun activities for daters. There's kayaking on Lake Union, hiking in Discovery Park and plenty of live music in Capitol Hill, to name a few. \r\nWith plenty of parks, social clubs and music festivals, there's a wide variety of date locations no matter what you're into. \r\nOn the flip-side from Pittsburgh’s low-cost vibes, Seattle is a fast-growing city that attracts high earners, with the average household income exceeding $120,000 per year. Access to transportation and public health options make it an attractive city that draws in young professionals — particularly those working in the tech sector. \r\nThis city ranked highly on the list of virtual daters, coming in as the third-best mobile dating opportunity and the 15th-best online dating opportunity in the country, according to WalletHub. \r\n2. Las Vegas, NV\r\nLas Vegas may seem like an unexpected city to find at the top of this list, which is fair given its reputation as “Sin City.” While many people do get married here, it’s not necessarily seen as a conventional place to start a serious relationship so much as a location to indulge in drunken debauchery. \r\nBut don’t sleep on Vegas. In reality, the cost of dating here ranks in the lower half of the country in terms of love life-related expenses. \r\nRELATED: How Much Should You Spend On a First Date? \r\nFor instance, it's surprisingly affordable to get yourself date-ready in Las Vegas. This city has the sixth-lowest haircut cost, 13th-lowest fitness club membership cost, and 45th-lowest beauty salon cost out of the more than 180 cities WalletHub's study. \r\nIt goes without saying that access to fun is no challenge in Las Vegas. Singles have their pick of some of the most enticing nightlife date options in the country, from comedy to concerts to the local pro sports teams, plus their pick of the best restaurants and exciting attractions, along with music festivals and social clubs. \r\nWhile vacationing in Las Vegas is undoubtedly expensive, staying here is less so — the average cost for a one-bedroom clocks in at around $1,895 per month. \r\n1. Atlanta, GA\r\nAhh, the Big Peach… It’s not just a naughty emoji, you know. Atlanta offers one of the deepest dating pools in the country. \r\nAccording to WalletHub, over 69% of the city’s population are single, making it the eighth-highest percentage in the country. \r\nAccess to fun dating activities abounds in Atlanta, from food festivals to live music, art walks, brewery patios, and a thriving nightlife scene, spanning from Buckhead to East Atlanta Village. \r\nGetting around Atlanta is also a breeze. It ranks as the 22nd most accessible city on WalletHub's list, making it easy to travel to and from the numerous activities and restaurants this city has to offer. \r\nAtlanta's above-average median household income (around $80,000) and decently affordable cost of living (about $1,700 for a one-bedroom) also make it an enticing place to live for single professionals. \r\nSad you didn’t see your own hometown — or at least something nearby? Portland, OR, Madison, WI, and Cincinnati, OH, also rank highly on WalletHub's list. \r\nOn the other hand, Brownsville, TX, Port St. Lucie, FL, and Pearl City, HI, make up the bottom three, so if you’re from any of those, we’d understand if you were just about ready to pack your bags. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nMap Shows the Average Cost of a Date In Every U.S. StateHere’s How You’re Going to Find Love in the Next Year Worst Online Dating Profile Mistakes to Make", "keywords": "Best, Cities, for, Singles", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/best-cities-for-singles/askmen-lead-image-2x1-59-1764191853.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/best-cities-for-singles.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:55:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122853", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Future-Proofing in Dating?", "title_slug": "what-is-future-proofing-in-dating", "title_hash": "95d344a869fe990a74b8e0946a1e8ed8", "summary": "Here's How to Date With Intention to Spare Yourself From Pointless Breakups", "content": "Dating with intention is a great start. But future-proofing can be an even smarter way to approach your love life – and, it turns out, it’s more of a timeless approach than a passing trend. \r\nAccording to Bumble, 95% of singles say that their worries about the future are impacting who and how they date. \r\nRELATED: Dating Mistakes That Make Women Question Your Intentions \r\n“Future-proofing is focusing on values, shared visions and goals as well as making emotional security a top priority in a relationship,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Aimee Evnin-Bingham. \r\nSo, what does future-proofing actually mean while dating, and how can it help improve your love life? Here’s what you need to know. \r\n\r\nWhat Is Future-Proofing In Dating? \r\n\r\n“In my work with high-achieving men, I define future-proofing as dating from a place of deeper compatibility rather than just ego or survival instinct,” says relationship coach Katarina Polonska. “It means you’re aware of what markers dictate a long-term relationship's success, and you optimize for those. And yes, they may be incompatible with your typical 'wants'.” \r\nPractically speaking, future-proofing is about getting clear on what you need, having vulnerable conversations early on and making intentional choices while dating, like ending a relationship early because of communication struggles. \r\n\r\nBenefits of Future-Proofing Your Relationships\r\n\r\nFrom breaking patterns that hold you back to learning to learning to prioritize the right things, the process of future-proofing your relationships can benefit you for years to come. \r\nClarifies your long-term vision: Future-proofing forces you to consider what long-term success looks like for you in a relationship. “Future proofing can be a helpful tool to help men focus on what they really want in a relationship,” says Evnin-Bingham. Maybe you realize that what you really want is healthy communication and emotional availability, for example. Breaks unconscious patterns: If you’ve been drawn to the wrong people because of attachment struggles like a fear of intimacy, future-proofing helps you break the cycle. What’s familiar isn’t always good for you. When you focus on your long-term goals instead of your default type, you start making better choices. Shifts focus to emotional compatibility: Are you guilty of prioritizing attraction over compatibility? Future-proofing helps you move past that tendency by shifting the focus to emotional compatibility. “It helps identify when chemistry and looks are getting in the way of something deeper,” says Polonska. Creates a framework to assess what matters: If you like frameworks at work or in the gym, you’ll enjoy the concept of future-proofing while dating. It gives you guiding principles you can rely on to make decisions. Lays the foundation for true partnership: By future-proofing your relationships, you’re also future-proofing yourself as a partner. The process encourages self-awareness, emotional maturity and honest communication. Even if you don’t immediately meet the one, your efforts aren’t going to waste. When the right person comes along, you’ll be ready to build something real together. \r\n\r\nFuture-Proofing Tips to Start Embracing \r\n\r\nReady to start future-proofing your love life? Here’s how to go about it to make the most of the process. \r\n1. Know Your Needs \r\nBefore you date anyone, turn your focus to yourself. \r\n“Spend time creating a list of personal values, goals and visions you have for your future,” suggests Evnin-Bingham. Then, make a new list where you separate needs like craving autonomy in a relationship versus preferences, such as having a similar sense of humor. \r\n“Being able to discern whether something is a need — meaning a boundary or dealbreaker — versus a preference, something that you’d like but don't need to be fulfilled, can help you categorize what you want in a long-term relationship,” adds Evnin-Bingham.\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Communicate Your Needs While Dating\r\nKeep in mind that preferences can change, says Polonska, whether needs tend to be more static: “For example, do you need emotional depth? Reassurance? Until you identify these clearly, you’ll miss the mark of what you're really seeking in a relationship and what makes you happy long-term.” \r\n2. Prepare Yourself for Dating \r\n“Clear your own baggage and date for the right reasons,” Polonska says. \r\nIf you’re still reeling from your last breakup or you haven’t addressed your fears of abandonment in therapy, it will be harder to date consciously and you might end up choosing partners who feel familiar for the wrong reasons. \r\nRELATED: Benefits From Therapy That Change the Way You Live Life \r\nAlso, get honest with yourself about your reasons for dating. Are you truly looking for partnership? \r\n“Don’t date because you’re bored, burnt out or needing escape,” Polonska adds. \r\nFuture-proofing your relationships isn’t only a means of protecting yourself from romantic hurt. It’s a means of creating a relationship that’s built to last, and that only works if you’re entering dating from the right state of mind. \r\nRELATED: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Dating Again After a Breakup\r\n3. Assess Potential Connections \r\nOnce you start going on dates, it’s time to assess potential connections with a future-proofing lens. \r\n“Ask deep meaningful questions — don't be afraid to ask questions that align with your values or goals,” suggests Evnin-Bingham. \r\nQuestions like, “What does a great relationship look like to you long-term?” or “How do you usually handle conflict in relationships?” can take the conversation to a deeper place and lead to enlightening answers. \r\nRELATED: The Role of Different Conflict Styles in Relationships \r\nYou can also ask yourself questions to determine if a relationship is future-proof. Polonska recommends reflecting on the following ones: \r\n\r\n“How do I feel after spending time with them – regulated or anxious? Safe and seen or like I have to perform?”\"Does this person show a growth mindset, and if so, how does it show up?\"“When we disagree, do I feel respected by them?”\r\n\r\nHowever, Evnin-Bingham says that you shouldn’t be surprised if nobody meets all requirements: ”No one is perfect! Try to focus on three values, one goal and one shared vision that you want a person to align with.” \r\nThe goal isn’t to find perfection as much as to focus on what truly matters. Do a bit of inner work, lead with vulnerability and you’ll give yourself the best shot at finding a connection that stands the test of time. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Be Happy Single (And Why It Matters) Early Signs Your Relationship Will LastHow to Recognize Unhealthy Relationship Patterns", "keywords": "What, Future-Proofing, Dating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-is-future-proofing-in-dating/askmen-lead-image-2x1-60-1764344271.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-is-future-proofing-in-dating.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:55:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122854", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Cross-Training Shoes for Men", "title_slug": "best-cross-training-shoes-for-men", "title_hash": "6326eb4f242094e882b6e3941d1e489e", "summary": "More and more people are hybrid athletes, whether they think of themselves that way or not. One day they might hop on the elliptical for a slow, lengthy cardio session, while the next day they hit the weight room for squats, box jumps and burpees. Or they hit the pavement for a morning jog before their workday begins, only to wind down with a post-work yoga session.\r\nWhat this means, in practical terms, is that very few people need hyper-specialized footwear purpose-built for only one kind of workout. Instead, they need cross-training shoes, built tough enough to withstand a ballistic HIIT workout session while still being light and supportive enough to be comfortable to wear on a run.\r\nRELATED: 5 Workouts That Take 20 Minutes or Less to Complete\r\nThankfully, basically every shoe manufacturer has kept up with this demand, offering at least one and in some cases multiple models designed with maximum versatility in mind. Here are our five favorite cross-training shoes: \r\nOn Cloudpulse\r\n\r", "content": "More and more people are hybrid athletes, whether they think of themselves that way or not. One day they might hop on the elliptical for a slow, lengthy cardio session, while the next day they hit the weight room for squats, box jumps and burpees. Or they hit the pavement for a morning jog before their workday begins, only to wind down with a post-work yoga session.\r\nWhat this means, in practical terms, is that very few people need hyper-specialized footwear purpose-built for only one kind of workout. Instead, they need cross-training shoes, built tough enough to withstand a ballistic HIIT workout session while still being light and supportive enough to be comfortable to wear on a run.\r\nRELATED: 5 Workouts That Take 20 Minutes or Less to Complete\r\nThankfully, basically every shoe manufacturer has kept up with this demand, offering at least one and in some cases multiple models designed with maximum versatility in mind. Here are our five favorite cross-training shoes: \r\nOn Cloudpulse\r\n\r\nWhat better proof of the growing popularity of cross-training shoes than that On, a company built for dedicated runners, has not only made a cross-trainer but a great one at that? Featuring a widened toe box for added stability and a reinforced mesh upper to increase durability, the Cloudpulse doesn’t just travel fast in straight lines; it will handle your most dynamic workouts without breaking a sweat.\r\n$160 at On.com\r\nNike Metcon 10\r\n\r\nIf you regularly do explosive Olympic lifts or heavy squats, but still want a shoe that can keep up with your most strenuous conditioning circuits, the Metcon 10 fits the bill. It has a flat, ultra-firm Hyperlift plate at the base that not only adds stability on heavier lifts but also optimizes energy return for sprints and jumps. \r\n$155 at Nike.com \r\nNOBULL Drive Mesh\r\n\r\nNOBULL was already a star performer and cult favorite among gym addicts before NFL superstar Tom Brady signed on as a brand ambassador, but his endorsement has helped catapult the brand into the stratosphere. Thankfully, their new-found popularity hasn’t slowed down their engineering department, because the Drive Mesh perfectly threads the needle between good looks, tank-like durability and agility. A rubber outsole gives confidence on every plant and change of direction, while the engineered mesh upper adds breathability without sacrificing durability.\r\n$225 at NOBULLProject.com\r\nTYR CXT-2 Trainer\r\n\r\nTYR have been killing it lately, creating high-performance footwear for athletes and weight lifters, and their CXT-2 Trainer might be their best creation yet, a no-compromise shoe that can handle every style of workout you throw at it. The reinforced heel cup and enhanced lace loops ensure perfect lockdown, while dense foam and a TPU stability wrap around the outsole make this shoe unbelievably responsive, with no wasted energy in dynamic movements.\r\n$160 at TYR.com \r\nReebok Nano X5\r\n\r\nA full year into its lifecycle and the Nano X5 is still a top-performing cross-trainer, with eye-catching good looks to boot. Compared to previous models, the X5 boasts more room in the toe box, adding both comfort and stability, as well as a dual-response midsole with a slightly softer forefoot, reducing impact forces and sparing your joints in the process.\r\nFrom $140 at Reebok.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\nBest Running ShoesThe Pros and Cons of Barefoot WorkoutsHow to Run a Faster 10K", "keywords": "Best, Cross-Training, Shoes, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-cross-training-shoes-for-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764346630.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-cross-training-shoes-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:55:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122850", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Going for a Walk in Nature Can Help Make You More Productive", "title_slug": "how-going-for-a-walk-in-nature-can-help-make-you-more-productive", "title_hash": "6825bd8e2adeff63e3aaf5c92dbd6335", "summary": "Why Nature Walks Are an Underrated Tool for Sharpening Your Mind", "content": "The Japanese concept of “forest bathing” has risen to prominence in North America over the past few years due to its promise of improving an individual’s physical and mental health by simply spending time outdoors under the trees. But, as it turns out, the benefits of going for a walk in nature — or even just to the park around the block from your home — could span far beyond just physical wellness.\r\nIn fact, according to a recent study from Stanford University, walking outdoors has been proven to boost creativity and help increase the flow of new ideas by nearly 60 percent, while a study from the University of Melbourne suggests that even simply looking outside for just 40 seconds at a time helped boost employee productivity throughout the workday.\r\nThink about it like this: if just glancing outside is proven to boost our productivity, it should come as no surprise that heading outside to walk in nature supercharges productivity and overall mindset!\r\nWhen you are close to your problems it is difficult to see the solutions. The mind is a powerful tool, but if it is over-exercised, it loses its efficacy and can lead to poor decisions and lower productivity. Helping the mind step down from its state of endless frenzy can do wonders for your focus, productivity, and efficacy.RELATED: The Benefits of Therapy for Men\r\nAccording to Ravi Kathuria, bestselling author of Happy Soul. Hungry Mind, spending time in nature is an excellent way to allow the mind to back off from its stress, anxiety, and pressures of daily life. Nature allows the mind to breathe. It soothes the mind both at the conscious level and at the subconscious level. Nature is a great remedy for stress and once the stress subsides productivity increases. Short-term stress can increase productivity, long-term stress is devastating to productivity. Nature grounds us and allows us to regain the upper hand on our stress. \r\nIn order to further fuel the concept of going for a walk in nature as a way to naturally boost your productivity and success, we spoke to a handful of wellness experts and life coaches to get their insights on exactly how going for a walk in nature can help make you more productive — both at work and at home. \r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Walking Outdoors\r\n\r\nIt Gets the Creative Juices Flowing\r\n“Many people do not realize this, but walking is a great way to let the creative juices flow,” says Kathuria. “Many of us work tied to our chairs and our electronic devices. Extended periods of sitting down puts the body in a clamped-down mode. Blood flows slowly. Walking is a gentle exercise, which increases blood circulation.”\r\nIt Lowers Cortisol Levels\r\n“The positive benefits of spending time in the woods lowers the levels of cortisol, the hormone that rises when we’re under stress and is the root of many serious illnesses,” explains Milana Perepyolkina, international bestselling author of Dark Chocolate for the Soul. “Spending time with trees also lowers blood pressure and pulse rate. Lowering stress increases productivity.” \r\nCreates Space for Time Away from Technology\r\nEspecially with the digital age we are in today, being disconnected from the world around us is becoming increasingly important for mental clarity and health. Being in the moment and calming the voices in your head is important for a healthy mind and a nature walk is one of the most traditional ways to accomplish this.\r\n“While enjoying nature, the wilderness is a great place to get away from technology and one of the most important things that can be done in nature is to look at its beauty,” says Sunil Murthy, founder of The Devoted Yogi. “Take time to take in the way a tree is way up high, or the leaves blowing in the wind. Nature always offers us beauty, but when we are paying attention, it offers us so much more.”\r\nRELATED: How to Stress-Proof Your Brain\r\nBoosts Serotonin and Vitamin D Levels\r\nDon’t underestimate the power of the positive thoughts that come with a good brisk walk through nature! This is because they can have profound effects on how we feel and think about ourselves. “When we exercise, our body increases the secretion of feel-good hormones, making physical activity one of the most effective mood-boosting methods,” says Torben Lonne, CEO of DIVEIN.\r\nIf you walk outside in nature early in the day, you’ll also be getting a dose of vitamin D, which increases serotonin levels in the brain. “The combination of all the good things that happen to your body and mind when you go on a nature walk positively affects your productivity on every level,” adds Lonne. “Walking in nature allows you to clear your mind so that you can engage in your daily tasks with a clearer focus and more physical energy for your job.” \r\nIt Will Increase Mindfulness\r\n“Walking in nature is a king of walking mindfulness meditation,” says Yoel Farkas, mentor and coach specializing in divorce recovery for men. “Mindfulness allows one to redirect the mind and control emotional impulses that often distract one from taking action.”\r\nGood Habits Create More Good Habits\r\nHabit stacking has become a trendy personal development term for a reason — once you start making time for one healthy daily activity, it increases the chances of picking up even more good habits — both at home and in the workplace. “Once one starts taking action by a simple nature walk, he will continue to find other positive habits and when one is increasing positive habits, that means he is increasing his productivity,” adds Farkas.\r\nIt Helps Evoke Your Inner Child\r\n“I think that having a walk in nature helps me to be productive as it allows me to connect myself to a part of my brain that is still a child and wants to see things in a new and exciting light,” says Ethan Taub, CEO of Goalry and Loanry. “When you write or work on a project, you need that inner child to come out and help you with the creativity of it.”\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Spot Depression in Men\r\n\tWhy You Should Add Mindfulness to Your Fitness Routine\r\n\tWhat You Should Know About Having ADHD", "keywords": "How, Going, for, Walk, Nature, Can, Help, Make, You, More, Productive", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/mental_health/how-going-for-a-walk-in-nature-can-help-make-you-more-productive/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764601100.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/mental_health/how-going-for-a-walk-in-nature-can-help-make-you-more-productive.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:55:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122851", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What You Should Know About Mixing Sex and Alcohol", "title_slug": "what-you-should-know-about-mixing-sex-and-alcohol", "title_hash": "af8cfa3c73bd2e59ca83336bbebd96ec", "summary": "Did you know that alcohol and sex actually do mix well together?", "content": "If you’ve ever had sex under someone’s bright overhead light, you can probably understand the appeal of having sex by candlelight, or with a nice warm lamp light instead. \r\nEven when you’re very attracted to the person you’re sleeping with, too much clarity isn’t always sexy. That’s why bars and nightclubs usually use low light — it retains a little air of mystery. \r\nA somewhat similar principle applies for many people when it comes to being sober: given the option, lots of people prefer to have sex under the influence of something, and alcohol is the top option for most people. \r\nRELATED: People Like Mixing These Drugs With Sex, Says Study \r\nIt’s legal to purchase as an adult almost everywhere in the world, it comes in a variety of different potencies and flavors, it’s fairly easy to estimate how much to take in order to achieve a desired effect, and it can produce a simultaneous relaxing and energizing effect that helps things like socializing, flirting, kissing, and having sex just feel great. \r\nHowever, as with all things, booze has its downsides, and in the case of mixing it with sex, there are more than just a few. In order to get a better sense of the positives and negatives of mixing alcohol with sex, AskMen spoke to a number of experts. Here’s what they had to say:\r\n\r\nWhy People Mix Alcohol & Sex\r\n\r\nHaving sex and drinking alcohol are both human activities with many thousands of years of history, so it’s likely that people have been mixing them for much longer than the existence of recorded history — likely as of the discovery of alcohol, frankly. But why do they so often go together? \r\n“The reason some people like to mix alcohol and sex is that it can reduce their inhibitions,” says Zachary Zane, sex & relationship expert for #LubeLife. “Often, people feel nervous about sex and can overthink during intimacy. Alcohol helps you feel less shame and can make you less self-conscious.”\r\n“Alcohol often acts as a shortcut to disinhibition — it quiets self-consciousness and helps people relax,” says sex educator and counselor Inka Winter, director at ForPlay Films. But while it may make it easier to “get in the mood,” she notes, it does have drawbacks, too. \r\n\r\nDrawbacks of Mixing Alcohol & Sex\r\n\r\n1. Consent Becomes Less Clear \r\nBy far the most important thing to keep in mind about mixing alcohol and sex is that excessive consumption seriously impacts your awareness and decision-making abilities, which are crucial components when it comes to navigating consent. \r\n“Be very careful about combining alcohol and sex,” says Zane. “Sure, having one or two drinks might be OK — a little liquid courage — but getting very drunk before sex puts you in risky situations. It’s harder, and sometimes impossible, to give proper consent when you're intoxicated, and you might end up doing things you regret or get taken advantage of.” \r\nToo much alcohol can mean you lose your own ability to consent, and it can also mean you lose your ability to determine if someone else is consenting. \r\n“It also becomes more difficult to read your partner's social cues and nonverbal signals, including what they like or dislike,” says Zane. “You might accidentally cross a boundary.”\r\nRELATED: The Different Things That Do & Don’t Look Like Consent\r\nEither way, excessive alcohol consumption before sex significantly ups the chances that something bad will happen, which could have lasting consequences for one or all parties involved. \r\n2. It Can Dull Sensation\r\nEven if neither you nor a sexual partner crosses anyone’s boundaries, too much booze can also make sex less pleasurable in its own right by dulling the physical sensation and your emotional awareness, Winter notes. \r\n“From a mindful perspective, this means alcohol disconnects us from the very body wisdom that allows for authentic intimacy,” she says. “Research supports this nuance. A review published in the Journal of Sex Research found that moderate alcohol consumption can increase sexual desire for some individuals, but higher levels of intoxication significantly impair sexual arousal, physical pleasure, and consent clarity.”\r\n“In other words,” Winter continues, “alcohol may lower the brakes temporarily, but it also weakens the body’s ability to feel fully and respond authentically.”\r\nFor some people, that sense of remove may be part of the appeal, but at a certain point, robbing yourself of the ability to genuinely enjoy sex can make the whole experience a waste of time. It would be like eating a delicious meal that you can’t taste at all. \r\n3. It Can Impact Your Erection\r\nThanks to its properties as a depressant, certain quantities of alcohol can also negatively impact erectile function in people who have penises, causing what’s colloquially known as “whiskey dick” — which Zane notes means penetrative sex will be difficult to have. \r\nHowever, if you’re struggling to achieve or maintain an erection, blowjobs and handjobs may be similarly impacted. It’s true that you can engage in lots of pleasurable sexual activities without an erection, but the feeling of realizing that your drinking has made it hard to get hard can be a real disappointment that can negatively impact the mood in a big way. \r\nAs with so many other things in life, moderation is key. Having a few drinks, enough to genuinely feel a buzz from the alcohol, may make sex a bit more fun, but pushing past that and getting seriously drunk is unlikely to be a good move for anyone involved. \r\n\r\nWhat to Do If Your Drinking Is Affecting Your Sex Life\r\n\r\nLots of people start having sex around the time they start drinking alcohol — between their mid- to late-teens and early 20s. As such, the two can become significantly intertwined for some people, and some will essentially only ever have sex if they’ve also been drinking. \r\nIn America, college hookup culture may encourage or normalize getting wasted as part of everyday socializing, and it may feel weird or unusual for some people to have sober sex at all. Sex with excessive drinking may just feel like the way everyone does it — but it isn’t. \r\nFor starters, if your alcohol consumption is impacting other aspects of your life besides your sex life, there’s a good chance that it might be alcoholism. \r\nRELATED: What Men Should Know About Addiction & Recovery\r\nLike many other drugs, alcohol can create both physiological and psychological dependences, and this addiction can lead to devastating consequences, up to and including death, if it’s not addressed.\r\nBut even if your overall alcohol consumption is relatively limited, if you’re seriously drunk a lot of the time you have sex, negative consequences are going to appear at some point. \r\nIn that case, you should seriously consider trying therapy in order to “tackle the root of your sexual fears,” says Zane. “Why do you feel the need to be inebriated to have sex? How can you reach a place of security and safety where you don’t need to get drunk to have sex?”\r\n“If someone needs alcohol to feel sexual, it’s worth asking what that drink is compensating for,” says Winter. “Often, it’s soothing performance anxiety, shame, or fear of vulnerability.”\r\n“Building somatic safety — through breathwork, body awareness, and slow touch — can help recreate that sense of freedom without substances,” she adds. “True erotic confidence comes from being able to stay present with one’s sensations and emotions, not from numbing them.”\r\nFurther research might also be helpful, Zane says. \r\nHe recommends Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze by Tawny Lara, aka the Sober Sexpert, as well as his own memoir, Boyslut, which explores overcoming sexual shame and not relying on substances in order to have sex. \r\nRELATED: How to Kick Sexual Shame \r\nFor some people, numbing or dulling things a little bit is part of the appeal. They may feel vulnerable and anxious in a sexual context and prefer to experience it at a remove. \r\nWhich, if you go back to the analogy of lighting from the beginning of the article, may make sense — but having sex in low light is one thing, and having sex in pure, pitch-black darkness that’s so dark you can’t see a single thing is another. \r\nThat not only robs you of the fun of actually seeing what’s going on, it also means the participants are more likely to do something they didn’t mean to or accidentally hurt the other person. In order to have good, safe, healthy sex, you need to know what’s going on — which means you need to be relatively sober. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Start Drinking Less AlcoholThe Benefits of Embracing VulnerabilitySex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing", "keywords": "What, You, Should, Know, About, Mixing, Sex, and, Alcohol", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/sextip19/askmen-lead-image-2x1-61-1764344492.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/sextip19.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:55:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122648", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Was a Good Father to Me, But He Was Terrible at Being a Husband", "title_slug": "he-was-a-good-father-to-me-but-he-was-terrible-at-being-a-husband", "title_hash": "8ccdfe98a3839d0812aa57af824958ac", "summary": "Growing up, when I looked at my daddy, I saw a superhero. He was my Superman and my Spiderman, the man who wore my caps backwards and made me feel …", "content": "

Growing up, when I looked at my daddy, I saw a superhero. He was my Superman and my Spiderman, the man who wore my caps backwards and made me feel like the centre of his world. To me, he was a good father. But he was a terrible husband.

I am my father’s firstborn, his handbag. Wherever you saw Daddy, you saw me trailing right behind. We were a package deal. Because of this, I saw my parents’ story from the front row.

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My mum met my dad when she came to Accra after senior high school. He was the only one who helped her, the first and only man she ever knew. He never hid how much he hated her, not even from us children. The hatred was blaring, right in our eyes. He would beat her, but more than that, he abused her verbally, constantly. Maybe he saw her as his enemy instead of his helper. I will never know.

But, he treated me with so much love and care, always pampering me, I started to see my mother as the villain. The things I would do that Daddy would laugh off, Mama would punish me for. It got to a point where I did not even like her. A part of me was even happy that Daddy was treating her that way. I saw her as the bad person.

I thank God for what my mum did, but I remember when it all started. The abuse began when my dad got a job in Cape Coast and had to relocate. We were supposed to join him, but Mum had work in Accra, so they devised a plan: he would come to us every weekend.

That was when it started, small, small. He would shout at her if the sugar in his tea was too much, if the salt was too little, if a light was on in the afternoon, or if the radio was a little too loud. Then the shouting turned to throwing his hands.

My mother was one of those women who left their battles to God. “God will change him,” she would say. “God will bring his heart home again.” Every single day, she left it in the hands of God, until she realized that if she did not leave, she would die. It was evident he was going to kill her. So one morning, she called for the marriage to be dissolved.

And I hated her even more for it. She was leaving my father, who was a good father to me. I automatically thought that meant he was a good husband. I prayed for them to get back together.

Somewhere in 2009, they buried the hatchet and came back together. That was when my baby brother was born. But Mama left my daddy again because, this time around too, things did not work out.

READ ALSO: What if I Dated a Ghost?

I need to talk about my mother’s strength, because even now, it’s hard for me to understand.

Throughout everything, my mum never once turned us against our father. She never painted him as the villain, even when he was one to her. For instance, the woman he left her for in Cape Coast, Adowa, had a child for him in 2011. The funny thing is, when it also didn’t work out between them, the breakup was not easy. They were throwing curses at each other, at each other’s throats, ready to devour themselves. It got so bad my dad’s family had to step in.

And that’s the surprising part: my dad’s family, especially his elder sister, always defended my mum. This aunt loved my mother so much that she once had my own father arrested for beating my mum terribly. I will always be grateful for that.

My father moved on to other women, one named Mansa, and then finally, to Esi. The strange thing is, I knew all these women. My mum knew I knew them. Another woman might have forbidden me from speaking to them, but not my mother. She would even ask about their wellbeing and encourage me to call them. To this day, I cannot understand this kind of forgiveness. It is a mystery to me.

Then, in 2021, we heard through the grapevine that my dad was about to marry Esi. The whole thing was in motion. He was formally asking for her hand, invitations were being sent out, but not to us. We were not on the list.

By that point in my life, I wasn’t the little girl who saw her dad as a superhero anymore. I had seen the deep pain he caused my mother, and I had grown to resent him for it. He knew exactly how I felt. He knew I saw his flaws, all of them. So his solution was to just write us out of his new story. He deliberately left us out of the wedding and even told his family not to tell us. The message was clear: we were part of a past he was ready to leave behind.

He married Esi in November 2021. And then, tragically, he died exactly one month later, at our family house in Dansoman.

His death is all tangled up with one of my biggest regrets. At the time, I was trying to get into nursing school. Let’s just say my mind was very hot, and I was counting on my dad’s connection at 37 Military Hospital to secure my admission.

The day before he died, my mum had a strong feeling. She was on my neck all day, pestering me to call him and check on my application. I was still so angry I refused, but that evening, she forced my hand.

It was the last time I ever spoke to him. “Will you not forgive me for not inviting you to my engagement?” that was he asked me, but I was too angry at him and at the whole situation. For God’s sake, I am your daughter. We were a dream when he carried me on his arms when he walked through town, so what happened? All I cared about in that moment was my school application. I know it was selfish of me. When he promised to handle it in the morning, I just hung up.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The next morning, I called him a thousand times and he did not pick up. So, I told my mother, convinced he was too angry to help his own daughter. On her way to check on him, she heard the news. He was gone.

And even now, after his death, my mum still wants me to be family with my father’s wife.

My mum is a very good woman, and my dad did not deserve her. I feel he wasted her time. She has not been in any relationship since their separation, and she is 47. To be honest, my mum is very beautiful and looks nothing like her age. She looks much younger. But I feel she is still traumatized by her experience with him.

God bless my mom and make her happy, because Auntie Florence has really suffered.

—Juliet

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Was, Good, Father, But, Was, Terrible, Being, Husband", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/2149186209.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-was-a-good-father-to-me-but-he-was-terrible-at-being-a-husband/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:09:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122647", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Loved Her With My Whole Heart And She Broke It", "title_slug": "i-loved-her-with-my-whole-heart-and-she-broke-it", "title_hash": "37e77f5daad51b9177526efe84778171", "summary": "Three months ago, I walked away from the mother of my child after I learned she cheated on me. In my brokenness, I told myself I would never let love …", "content": "

Three months ago, I walked away from the mother of my child after I learned she cheated on me. In my brokenness, I told myself I would never let love wound me like that again. Since then, I kept every conversation with my baby mama strictly about parenting.

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In July, I met a young woman. She is an apprentice at a sewing shop. She opened up to me about her past. Just like me, her heart has been broken too. We bonded over our heartbreaks.

As time went on, I found myself feeling things I was sure I wouldn’t feel for another woman anytime soon. I fell in love with Aba. When she agreed to be my girlfriend, I was so excited that I made it my mission to love her well.

She brought me a kind of peace I hadn’t felt in years. Her only fear was that I might return to my child’s mother. I understood why she felt that way. So I constantly reassured her that I wouldn’t go back. My baby mama tried to get back together with me the first week in my new relationship. I shut it down. I made my boundaries clear. I wanted only to co-parent. Nothing more.

I was transparent with Aba. She had access to my phone. She knew who I spoke to and why. I put her first. Every night, I waited for her with food because she came home tired. Whenever we ate, she would eat her egg and still take mine without asking. It never bothered me. I always smiled in amusement. I held those little moments close to my heart.

I’m a teacher. When I had exams to mark, she stayed up with me. She marked the objectives while I handled the theory. Not once did she complain when we worked deep into the night. I thought I had found a woman I could build a life with.

When school went on break, I wanted to go to Kumasi. My parents and grandmother live there. My ex lives there too, but far from them. She was uncomfortable with my plans. So I didn’t go. I stayed in town for her sake. She, on the other hand, travelled to her village to harvest maize.

When she returned, something was different. She grew distant. She got upset easily. She held back her affection. I didn’t understand what changed. When I asked her, she said everything was fine. Usually, these signs mean the love is gone. It made me uneasy to think what we had could easily fizzle out. One evening when she visited me, I kissed her. The fact that she kissed me back gave me hope that she still wanted me.

I wanted to know where I stood with her. So I told a lie. I said I had travelled to Kumasi when I hadn’t. When she found out, she got upset. She said she didn’t like being tested. I apologised. I explained that I only wanted to understand her new behaviour.

That night, I asked again what had changed. She was quiet for a long time before saying, “I want to end the relationship.” She said she couldn’t focus at work because she thought about me too much. This wasn’t the first time she had said that. “I also think about you all the time but I don’t want us to end because of it,” I pleaded. After everything I said, Aba stood her ground and left me.

I couldn’t believe our relationship could end just like that. I stayed in town during the whole break because of her. Didn’t that mean anything to her? In all my years here, she is the only woman who has ever entered my room. I meant every word when I said I loved her. But she let go.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

What choice do I have but to accept it even though it hurts? I don’t go back once something ends. That’s why I didn’t take my ex back, even when she tried. Why do women keep doing this to me? I love them with a clean heart, only for them to break my heart.

Aba once told me she had a dream where I left her, and when she returned, I didn’t take her back. If that day ever comes, I won’t. It won’t be out of bitterness but because I gave her my best, and she still walked away.

—Appiah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Loved, Her, With, Whole, Heart, And, She, Broke", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/IMG_1911.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-loved-her-with-my-whole-heart-and-she-broke-it/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:09:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122646", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Says Her Immediate Ex is The Love of Her Life", "title_slug": "my-wife-says-her-immediate-ex-is-the-love-of-her-life", "title_hash": "0200194306aab8a14a31a7685ddb4f05", "summary": "My wife has always said her childhood could fill a whole library—pain, survival, resilience, betrayal, everything. She carries a quiet strength wrapped in softness, the kind of woman who turns …", "content": "

My wife has always said her childhood could fill a whole library—pain, survival, resilience, betrayal, everything. She carries a quiet strength wrapped in softness, the kind of woman who turns scars into wisdom. From the day we married, I’ve been telling her, “Write the book. Your story will change our lives.” It wasn’t about money; it was about legacy. For six years, I urged her to start.

A few months ago, she finally said, “Okay, I’ll write it. But promise me you won’t read anything until I’m finished.”
\nI smiled and raised my hand like a scout. “I promise.”

She began writing, but I kept wondering if she was truly putting in the work. That’s how I found myself sneaking to her laptop at night—opening the manuscript, skimming pages, just to reassure myself she was writing.

But last night, I read something I shouldn’t have seen. A chapter titled: “When Love Refuses to Die.”

The first line reads, “He is the love of my life, and ten years later, I still haven’t moved on.”

My heart sank. *Is she writing fiction now?* I kept reading, even though my chest felt like someone was sitting on it.

She was talking about her ex. The one she left before she met me. The one whose name she never mentions. The one she blocked “to move on.” The one I assumed was long forgotten. But according to her manuscript, she still checks up on him “to see if he’s happy.” She still feels as if something was stolen from her rather than ending naturally. And the part that broke me is where she confessed they met three times after we were married. Meetings she described as “moments I wished time could freeze.”

She didn’t say she cheated. She didn’t say they touched. But the emotional intimacy feels like betrayal all the same.

I don’t know how long I sat there staring at the screen. All I know is something inside me broke. The certainty that I was her chosen one disappeared.

This morning, she woke up smiling, stretching, asking what I wanted for breakfast. And I couldn’t look at her.
\nYet I can’t ask her about it because to ask is to confess. And to confess is to admit I broke my promise.

So here I am, trapped between guilt and heartbreak. Wondering if I have the right to feel this wounded. Asking whether loving an ex emotionally is a wound that can heal, or a shadow that will always hover over our marriage.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Part of me wants to pretend I never saw it. But the larger part of me still loves this marriage and everything we’ve built. Should I talk to her? How do I start a conversation I was never supposed to overhear? I deserve to know the truth, don’t you think? But right now, the truth is what’s killing me the most.

—Eddy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Wife, Says, Her, Immediate, The, Love, Her, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/2148991308.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-says-her-immediate-ex-is-the-love-of-her-life/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:09:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122645", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Nature Says We are Not Compatible But We Want to Defy Nature and Get Married", "title_slug": "nature-says-we-are-not-compatible-but-we-want-to-defy-nature-and-get-married", "title_hash": "5461c72d117a2ddb9afd3e445b8d1ead", "summary": "We’re both AS. We found out after three years of dating, just as we started talking about marriage. I cried the day we learned that nature, no matter how much …", "content": "

We’re both AS. We found out after three years of dating, just as we started talking about marriage. I cried the day we learned that nature, no matter how much we loved each other, seemed to have other plans.

We talked. We disagreed. We even fought about it. Eventually, we decided to let go, so we could each find something that could work with other people.

But love like this isn’t easy to let go. We fell back into each other’s arms a few times. Each time, the intimacy was so passionate it felt like our last days on earth. We just didn’t want to let go.

A year after agreeing to part ways, I found out I was pregnant.

It broke me into pieces. It broke him, too. He wanted me to keep it. Part of me wanted to as well, but the potential consequences terrified me. I said, “We shouldn’t have it. We are troubled enough without bringing more trouble into our lives.”

Days later, it was gone. The pain was immense, but I told myself, “It’s better than what we would have faced if I’d kept it.”

He came and stayed with me. He helped me through the physical and emotional pain. He gave me his shoulder to cry on. When I needed warmth on my abdomen, he said, “Let me handle that.”

We’ve moved past that moment, but we’re still clinging to the love we share. He recently asked me, “Would it be too much if we married and didn’t have children?”

I answered, “I don’t know. But I want to have children.”

He goes away, and then he comes back, knocking on my heart to give him another chance. Nothing has fundamentally changed. We still get intimate, only now we tell ourselves we’re not officially dating.

Now, I’m starting to consider his proposal. That we should marry and accept a life without children of our own. What if I’m meant to find love but not motherhood? What if I have children with someone else who doesn’t love me a quarter as much as this man does? I ask myself these questions every day.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I want it all—love, children, a happy home, everything. So I’m asking: what’s the worst that could happen if I marry him? AS to AS. Uncertainties piled on more uncertainties. What would you have done? Let go completely? Or stay, and build a life without children?

—Becky

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "Nature, Says, are, Not, Compatible, But, Want, Defy, Nature, and, Get, Married", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/20149.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/nature-says-we-are-not-compatible-but-we-want-to-defy-nature-and-get-married/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:09:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "122644", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Cleared All His Loans, But He Took More Just When We Were About to Marry", "title_slug": "i-cleared-all-his-loans-but-he-took-more-just-when-we-were-about-to-marry", "title_hash": "5707978c151071fe03f9954cbd253463", "summary": "I didn’t fall in love with Isaac slowly. It wasn’t one of those loves that tiptoe into your life until you suddenly realize you care. No, Isaac arrived like a …", "content": "

I didn’t fall in love with Isaac slowly. It wasn’t one of those loves that tiptoe into your life until you suddenly realize you care. No, Isaac arrived like a kindness I didn’t know I needed, like a balm over a wound I didn’t even realize was there. From the first month we met, he carried himself with a softness that made me feel safe, seen, and chosen.

He was the kind of man who would help me cook when he visited, who would stand beside me as we washed dishes while teasing me, “Madam corporate woman, you’re just acting soft because I’m here.” On Sundays, he would iron my work clothes for the entire week, and wash my car as if it was his duty to make my life easier. I had dated before, but nobody had ever served me with genuine love like that. So yes, loving him came naturally.

Because I earn far more than him, I promised myself never to make him feel small with money. I stopped asking for things. I avoided putting financial pressure on him. If we went out, I paid. If something needed fixing, I covered it. I felt proud doing it, as though I had been given the chance to be a blessing to a good man.

Then one day, I accidentally discovered Isaac owed people money. Not small money. Plenty money. He owed friends, colleagues, and had even taken loans from financial institutions. Deductions swallowed his salary and left him with almost nothing. He told me it happened during a difficult period of his life and that he was doing his best to manage.

I won’t lie, my heart squeezed painfully, but instead of running, I told myself love meant helping your partner rise. So slowly, carefully, and quietly, I helped him clear everything. I paid off the loans. I settled the debts. And in less than a year, Isaac was debt-free, thanks to me.

I didn’t complain. I didn’t monitor him. I just loved and supported the man I thought was my future. Two years into dating, he said he was ready to marry me. He claimed he had saved enough. He came home one evening with excitement written all over his face and said, “Erica, let’s do the knocking. I’m ready.”

My heart danced. Finally, someone who chose me boldly. His family came for the knocking, we started buying the items, and as usual, I helped financially because I believed marriage was teamwork. Then the storm found me.

Just a few weeks ago, a man barged into our space, shouting Isaac’s name like someone chasing a thief. Before I could even process the drama, the man hurled insults, claiming Isaac owed him and had refused to pick his calls. I stood there trembling, not because of the insults, but because this felt like déjà vu. When the man finally left, Isaac stood there looking guilty.

I asked quietly, “Isaac, what’s going on? I thought we cleared everything.” He sighed. “He helped me with money for my sister’s school and hostel fees. I owe him GHC 8,300.”

I asked again, still calm but dying inside, “Is that all?” “No. There’s also a loan I took for my mother’s surgery. That one is GHC 17,450.”

“Isaac, when your mom was sick, why didn’t you tell me she needed surgery? Why didn’t you say you didn’t have money?” He said, “You’ve done too much for me already. I didn’t want to burden you again.”

Burden. That word hit me harder than anything else. So he owed again. Quietly. Secretly. Comfortably. After everything we had been through. After everything I had paid.

That night, when I lay down, my conscience whispered, “Erica, are you sure you want to bind your future to a man who treats debt like oxygen? A man who hides things? A man you will spend your life rescuing?”

It felt like a slap, because I knew it was true. I love Isaac but I’m scared of his relationship with debt. I’m scared of his silence each time he takes a new loan and I’m scared of living a life where every knock on my door could be another creditor.

I told him we should pause the marriage plans until he clears every debt on his own. He agreed, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. Now I’m sitting in my room, staring at the list of items we bought, staring at the fabric for the bridesmaids, staring at the ring I’m going to wear and wondering what exactly I’m marrying. A man I love? Or a lifelong financial burden disguised as romance?

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The fear creeps in slowly but powerfully: What if this never ends? What if debt is his addiction? What if I spend the rest of my life paying for his mistakes? I still love him. I still want the softness of the Isaac I met. But love does not pay loans. Love does not erase patterns. Love does not fix someone who refuses to change. So now I’m standing at the edge of a cliff with three options:

Continue with the marriage and hope he becomes financially responsible.
\nPause everything until I’m sure.
\nOr walk away before I sign a lifetime contract of rescuing.

My heart is fighting my mind. My mind is fighting for my future. And I’m stuck between love and regret—terrified of choosing wrong.

", "keywords": ", Cleared, All, His, Loans, But, Took, More, Just, When, Were, About, Marry", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/480431.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-cleared-all-his-loans-but-he-took-more-just-when-we-were-about-to-marry/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-12-01 09:09:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121891", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Getting Past the \"Spotlight Effect\" When Approaching Girls: 4 Steps", "title_slug": "getting-past-the-spotlight-effect-when-approaching-girls-4-steps", "title_hash": "bc345b95fa3d8f44848eef85b37b0451", "summary": "If you feel like “everyone’s watching” you talk to girls, that’s the spotlight effect. Use these 4 steps to beat it and it’ll hamper you with women no more.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"the$ If you feel like “everyone’s watching” you talk to girls, that’s the spotlight effect. Use these 4 steps to beat it and it’ll hamper you with women no more.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Getting, Past, the, Spotlight, Effect, When, Approaching, Girls:, Steps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/spotlight-effect-approach-anxiety-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/getting-past-spotlight-effect-when-approaching-girls-4-steps", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:37:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121888", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Black Friday Style Deals", "title_slug": "best-black-friday-style-deals", "title_hash": "89a7c83767be4e7ef8ee7da093fb36e5", "summary": "Save Big on Stylish Clothing, Watches & Accessories With These Black Friday Sales", "content": "For many retailers, Black Friday has morphed from a single day into a multi-day sales experience, with different deals going live at different times. To help you stay on top of things and score the best deals, we've launched our Black Friday series across key categories, from Tech and Fitness to Style, Grooming and Sex/Dating.\r\nLooking good isn't cheap, especially these days, but luckily there are tons of great Black Friday deals on stylish shirts, pants, jeans, and shoes, not to mention fancy accessories like dress watches and leather wallets. Whether you already have a style piece in mind or need a little inspiration to upgrade your wardrobe, we've got the best Black Friday deals on everything from stylish outfits for a night on the town to rugged athletic wear.\r\nSo without further ado, we've rounded up all the best Black Friday style deals below, but keep checking back as we'll be adding more deals as they roll in. And, be sure to follow @AskMen on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook for all the latest updates.\r\n\r\nClothing Deals\r\n\r\nLevi's Men's 501 Original Fit Jeans\r\n$79.50 $27.83 at Walmart.com \r\nWrangler Regular Fit Jeans\r\n$20.98 $13 at Walmart.com \r\nHanes EcoSmart Jersey Short Sleeve Polo\r\n$30 $21 at Walmart.com \r\nU.S. Polo Assn. Fleece Quarter Zip\r\n$24 $14.98 at Walmart.com \r\nLands' End Super-T Cotton-Blend Turtleneck\r\n$44.95 $24 at Amazon.com \r\nLands' End Long Sleeve Supima Cotton Polo Shirt\r\n$69.95 $34 at Walmart.com \r\nRussell Stock Core Performance Tee\r\n$27.89 $13.75 at Walmart.com \r\nRussell Cotton Muscle Tank Top\r\n$12 $10.23 at Walmart.com \r\nFruit of the Loom EverSoft Fleece Sweatshirt\r\n$16.99 $7.44 at Walmart.com \r\nDockers Straight Fit Casual Chino Pants\r\n$58 $19.98 at Walmart.com \r\nQDG Henley Shirt\r\n$32.99 $13.88 at Walmart.com \r\nHanes ComfortSoft Crew Neck T-Shirt, 4-Pack\r\n$30 $21 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nFootwear Deals\r\n\r\nWolverine Trade Wedge 6\" Moc-Toe Boot\r\n$139.95 $97.97 at Walmart.com \r\nPortland Boot Company Chelsea Boots\r\n$70 $15.29 at Walmart.com \r\nReebok NFX TRAINER Shoe\r\n$75 $54.99 at Walmart.com \r\nSkechers Vigor Cross-Training Shoe\r\n$74 $40 at Walmart.com \r\nDockers Castaway Leather Boat Shoe\r\n$80 $49.99 at Walmart.com \r\nDockers Thames Boot\r\n$85 $39.90 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nWatch Deals\r\n\r\nCitizen Eco-Drive Sea Land\r\n$425 $255 at Walmart.com \r\nCitizen Eco-Drive Peyten Classic\r\n$395 $235.99 at Walmart.com \r\nMichael Kors Slim Runway Black Dial Watch\r\n$200 $108 at Walmart.com \r\nTissot T-Race Chronograph Black Dial Watch\r\n$625 $514 at Walmart.com \r\nSeiko 5 Automatic Silver Dial Watch\r\n$1038.40 $220.12 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nWallets & Accessories Deals\r\n\r\nSatchel & Page Slim Bifold Wallet\r\n$109 $87 at Satchel-Page.com \r\nGenuine Dickies Wallet\r\n$23.24 $19 at Amazon.com \r\nAursear RFID Wallet with Money Clip\r\n$24.99 $12.99 at Walmart.com \r\nCshidworld RFID Wallet\r\n$16.99 $8.79 at Walmart.com \r\nThe Ridge Wallet\r\n$76 $64 at Amazon.com \r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Black Friday Fitness DealsBest Black Friday Grooming DealsBest Black Friday Tech Deals", "keywords": "Best, Black, Friday, Style, Deals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/style-deals/best-black-friday-style-deals/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764269702.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/style-deals/best-black-friday-style-deals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:37:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121889", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Black Friday Fitness Deals", "title_slug": "best-black-friday-fitness-deals", "title_hash": "ef20066d6e34b5147241bee3e97c1224", "summary": "These Black Friday Health & Fitness Discounts Will Help You Smash Your PRs & Not Your Budget", "content": "For many retailers, Black Friday has morphed from a single day into a multi-day sales experience, with different deals going live at different times. To help you stay on top of things and score the best deals, we've launched our Black Friday series across key categories, from Tech and Fitness to Style, Grooming and Sex/Dating.\r\nFitness is fantastic and all, but it's also expensive, and getting more expensive all the time. Supplements aren't cheap; workout clothing isn't cheap; home gym equipment isn't cheap. Heck, even gym memberships are rising in price these days, especially if you favor group classes or supervised training. That's why Black Friday is such a big deal: you can stock up on a few months' worth of supplements and a year's worth of clothing while shaving huge percentages off the usual MSRP. \r\nSo without further ado, we've rounded up all the best Black Friday health & fitness deals below, but keep checking back as we'll be adding more deals as they roll in. And, be sure to follow @AskMen on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook for all the latest updates.\r\n\r\nExercise Gear Deals\r\n\r\nPowerBlock Elite EXP Adjustable Dumbbells\r\n$449 $339.14 at Amazon.com \r\nCAP Barbell Coated Hex Dumbbell Weight\r\n$51.99 $43.99 at Amazon.com \r\nCAP Barbell Dumbbell Set with Rack\r\n$139.99 $125.66 at Amazon.com \r\nCAP Barbell Rubber Olympic Bumper Plate\r\n17% off at Amazon.com \r\nNordicTrack T Series 5 Treadmill\r\n$599 $449 at Amazon.com \r\nMaxKare Treadmill\r\n$285.99 $265.99 at Walmart.com \r\nPeloton Indoor Exercise Bike\r\n$2,695 $1,995 at Amazon.com \r\nPeloton Treadmill\r\n$3,295 $2,795 at Amazon.com \r\nLifepro Adjustable Dumbbells\r\n$230 $146.70 at Amazon.com \r\nReebok FR30z Floatride Treadmill\r\n$1,299.99 $924.99 at Walmart.com \r\nGIKPAL 6-in-1 Adjustable Weight Bench\r\n$207.33 $129.98 at Walmart.com \r\nBalanceFrom Olympic Bumper Plate Set\r\n$294.99 $206.44 at Walmart.com \r\nBalanceFrom Rubber Hex Dumbbells, Pair\r\n$55.90 $36 at Walmart.com \r\nSyedee Chest Fly & Reverse Delt Machine\r\n$409.99 $219.99 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nSupplement Deals\r\n\r\nKirkland Signature Protein Bar\r\n$45.49 $39.90 at Amazon.com \r\nCellucor C4 Energy Drink, 12 Pack\r\n$31.34 $27.99 at Walmart.com \r\nCellucor C4 Sport Pre-Workout\r\n$24.99 $18.49 at Amazon.com \r\nCellucor C4 Ripped Pre-Workout\r\n$25.49 $21.66 at Amazon.com \r\nCellucor C4 Original Pre-Workout\r\n$49.99 $42.99 at Amazon.com \r\nJocko GO Energy Drink\r\n$29.59 $20.71 at Amazon.com \r\nREDCON1 Total War Pre-Workout\r\n$44.99 $18.99 at Walmart.com \r\nBeyond Raw Lit Pre-Workout\r\n$44.99 $31.49 at Amazon.com \r\nMusclePharm Pro Series Pre-Workout\r\n$49.99 $39.99 at Walmart.com \r\nJocko Molk Protein Powder\r\n$44.95 $29.97 at Walmart.com \r\nOptimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey\r\n$43.20 $35.99 at Amazon.com \r\nOptimum Nutrition Pro Quench\r\n$34.99 $26.30 at Amazon.com \r\nVital Proteins Collagen Peptides\r\n$31.99 $22.60 at Amazon.com \r\nLevels Grass Fed Whey Protein Powder\r\n$79.99 $59.99 at Amazon.com \r\nVega Premium Protein\r\n$31.61 $19.23 at Amazon.com \r\n\r\nFitness Tracker Deals\r\n\r\nApple Watch Series 11\r\n$429 $369 at Walmart.com \r\nFitbit Charge 2\r\n$149.95 $114.99 at Walmart.com \r\nFitbit Charge HR\r\n$120.70 $60 at Walmart.com \r\nFitbit Charge 6\r\n$159.95 $99.95 at Walmart.com \r\nFitbit Alta HR\r\n$149.95 $99.99 at Walmart.com \r\nOura Ring 4 \r\n$499 $349 at Walmart.com \r\nSamsung Galaxy Watch 8\r\n$379.88 $279.99 at Amazon.com \r\nWHOOP 5.0 Activity Tracker\r\n$239 $199 at Amazon.com \r\nFitbit Google Ace LTE\r\n$179.95 $99.95 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Black Friday Style DealsBest Black Friday Tech DealsBest Black Friday Grooming Deals", "keywords": "Best, Black, Friday, Fitness, Deals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/health-deals/best-black-friday-fitness-deals/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764097303.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/health-deals/best-black-friday-fitness-deals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:37:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121890", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Black Friday Sex/Dating Deals", "title_slug": "best-black-friday-sexdating-deals", "title_hash": "1bcbd2aa75d0e81007a90ea5abd9d55d", "summary": "Stock Up on Flowers, Kinky Toys, Romantic Gifts & More With These Sexy Black Friday Sales", "content": "For many retailers, Black Friday has morphed from a single day into a multi-day sales experience, with different deals going live at different times. To help you stay on top of things and score the best deals, we've launched our Black Friday series across key categories, from Tech and Fitness to Style, Grooming and Sex/Dating.\r\nLove may not cost a thing, but that doesn't mean that it's never worth spending a few bucks on your love life. \r\nWhether it's sending your special someone (or someones) some gorgeous flowers, investing in some sensual (or downright sexy) bedroom toys, or subscribing to some premium artsy porn, all of these can be done for less around Black Friday and Cyber Monday. \r\nWhatever kinks and fantasies you have, we've got the deals you need to make magic happen in the bedroom (or in the living room, or in the kitchen, or in a hotel room, or... you get the idea) listed below. \r\n\r\nFlower Deals\r\n\r\nThe Bouqs - 30% off with code BLACKFRIDAYThe Million Roses - 40% off\r\n\r\nSite-Wide Sales\r\n\r\nAdultVibeToys - 30% off\r\nLavaJoy - Up to 50% off\r\nLovers - 20% off sitewide with code JUST4U\r\nZALO - Up to 20% off with code EXTRA20\r\n\r\nSex Toy, Condom & Lubricant Deals\r\n\r\nAYIYUN Automatic Male Masturbator\r\n$149 $23.99 at Walmart.com\r\nFunCu-K Personal Massager\r\n$18.99 $11.99 at Walmart.com\r\nb-Vibe ASStronaut Glow-in-the-Dark Butt Play Set\r\n$185 $111 at LoversStores.com\r\nObsession Passion G-Spot Vibrator\r\n$89 $53.40 at LoversStores.com\r\nObsession Fantasy Flickering Rabbit Vibrator\r\n$99 $39.60 at LoversStores.com\r\nJust the Tip Vibrator Kit\r\n$49 $19.60 at LoversStores.com\r\nCenterel Rabbit Vibrator\r\n$39.99 $12.99 at Walmart.com\r\nObgado Vibrating Anal Plug \r\n$25.99 $16.19 at Walmart.com\r\nSecret Lovers Vibrator\r\n$59 $21.60 at LoversStores.com\r\nStrap U Urge Remote Controlled Strapless Strap-On\r\n$145 $58 at LoversStores.com\r\nKERERO Thrusting Vibrator \r\n$29.99 $20.69 at Walmart.com\r\nCosmopolitan X plusOne Main Character Vibrator \r\n$32.99 $25.49 at Walmart.com\r\nLubeLife Water Based Personal Lubricant, 32oz \r\n$25.99 $16.19 at Walmart.com\r\nHIMS Clockstopper PEJ Condoms \r\n$36.90 $29.52 at Amazon.com\r\nJO Original Water-Based Personal Lubricant, 4oz \r\n$14.99 $11.99 at Walmart.com\r\nOKAMOTO 004 Condoms \r\n$29.99 $24.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Black Friday Fitness DealsBest Black Friday Grooming DealsBest Black Friday Tech Deals", "keywords": "Best, Black, Friday, SexDating, Deals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-toys-games/best-black-friday-sexdating-deals/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1764168305.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-toys-games/best-black-friday-sexdating-deals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:37:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121887", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Black Friday Deals 2025", "title_slug": "best-black-friday-deals-2025", "title_hash": "3ba4ef6b1a376d935aa2d52c16f18488", "summary": "The Best Deals on Computers, TVs, Video Games, Tech Gadgets & Smart Home Gear", "content": "For many retailers, Black Friday has morphed from a single day into a multi-day sales experience, with different deals going live at different times. To help you stay on top of things and score the best deals, we've launched our Black Friday series across key categories, from Tech and Fitness to Style, Grooming and Sex/Dating.\r\nLooking to upgrade your home theater setup or fill out your holiday gift list ahead of schedule? Black Friday deals are live today, well in advance of Black Friday itself, and we're bringing you our favorite options in the technology space, from big-screen TVs and streaming gear to high-end headphones, triple-A video game titles, and the latest and greatest smart home upgrades like video doorbells and WiFi-based security systems.\r\nSo without further ado, we've rounded up all the best Black Friday tech deals below, but keep checking back as we'll be adding more deals as they roll in. And, be sure to follow @AskMen on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook for all the latest updates.\r\n\r\nComputer & Tablet Deals\r\n\r\nApple 2025 MacBook Air, 13-inch\r\n$999 $749 at Amazon.com \r\nApple 2025 MacBook Air, 15-inch\r\n$1,199 $949 at Amazon.com \r\nAlienware 16 Aurora Gaming Laptop\r\n$1,249.99 $899.99 at Amazon.com \r\nASUS ROG Strix G16 (2025) Gaming Laptop\r\n$1,499.99 $1,199.99 at Amazon.com \r\nSamsung Galaxy Tab A9+\r\n$219.99 $139.99 at Amazon.com \r\nSAMSUNG Galaxy Tab S10 FE\r\n$499.99 $324.30 at Amazon.com \r\n\r\nTelevision & Home Theater Deals\r\n\r\nLG C3 Series 65\" Smart TV\r\n$1,499.99 $1,246.95 at Amazon.com \r\nINSIGNIA 50\" F50 Smart TV\r\n$299.99 $169.99 at Amazon.com \r\nINSIGNIA 65\" F50 Smart TV\r\n$449.99 $299.99 at Amazon.com \r\nSAMSUNG 65\" QLED 4K Q60D Smart TV\r\n$897.95 $797.95 at Amazon.com \r\nSAMSUNG 65\" The Frame 4K Smart TV\r\n$1,297.99 $995 at Amazon.com \r\nTCL 75\" Class QM6K 4K Smart TV\r\n$999.99 $697.99 at Amazon.com \r\nRoku 50\" Select 4K Smart TV\r\n$299.99 $228 at Amazon.com \r\nAmazon Fire 40\" 2-Series Smart TV\r\n$249.99 $149.99 at Amazon.com \r\nSony 85\" BRAVIA 3 4K Smart TV\r\n$1,599.99 $1,098 at Amazon.com \r\nAmazon Fire 50\" 4K UHD Smart TV\r\n$469.99 $279.99 at Amazon.com \r\nLG 86” 4K UHD Smart TV\r\n$798 $598 at Walmart.com \r\nLG B3 55\" Class 4K UHD Smart TV\r\n$1,199 $939 at Walmart.com \r\nLG 75\" Class 4K UHD Smart TV\r\n$698 $538 at Walmart.com \r\nLG C4 83\" Class 4K UHD Smart TV\r\n$3,999.99 $3,296.99 at Walmart.com \r\nSony 75” Class BRAVIA 3 Smart TV\r\n$1,098 $998 at Walmart.com \r\nSony 65” class BRAVIA 7 Mini LED Smart TV\r\n$1,498 $1,298 at Walmart.com \r\nSony K75XR70 75 Inch 4K Smart TV\r\n$1,998 $1,798 at Walmart.com \r\nSony 77” Class BRAVIA XR A95L Smart TV\r\n$4,498 $3,798 at Walmart.com \r\nSAMSUNG 75\" Class Q60DB Smart TV\r\n$1,198 $697.99 at Walmart.com \r\nSAMSUNG 65” Class LS03D The Frame TV\r\n$1,177.95 $1,098 at Walmart.com \r\nSAMSUNG 75” Class LS03D The Frame TV\r\n$2,999.99 $1,697.99 at Walmart.com \r\nSAMSUNG 85\" Class LS03B The Frame TV\r\n$4,297 $2,197 at Walmart.com \r\nSAMSUNG 85\" Class QN900C Neo QLED 8K Smart TV\r\n$7,999 $2,897 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nHeadphones & Audio Deals\r\n\r\nBeats Studio Pro\r\n$349.99 $169.95 at Amazon.com \r\nBeats Solo 4\r\n$199.95 $129.95 at Amazon.com \r\nBose QuietComfort Wireless Headphones\r\n$349 $199 at Amazon.com \r\nBeats Studio Buds\r\n$169.95 $149.95 at Amazon.com \r\nBose QuietComfort Ultra Wireless Headphones\r\n$429 $299 at Amazon.com \r\nSony WH-1000XM5 Wireless Headphones\r\n$399.99 $248 at Amazon.com \r\nSony WH-CH520 Wireless Headphones\r\n$69.99 $38 at Amazon.com \r\n\r\nVideo Game Deals\r\n\r\nXbox Series S, 512GB Digital Edition\r\n$489.99 $384.98 at Walmart.com \r\nPlayStation 5 Digital Edition (Slim)\r\n$549.99 $449 at Amazon.com \r\nSony PS5 DualSense Wireless Controller\r\n$74.99 $54 at Walmart.com \r\nMadden NFL 25 (PS5)\r\n$69.99 $25 at Walmart.com \r\nMadden NFL 26 (PS5)\r\n$69.99 $27.99 at Walmart.com \r\nNHL 26 (PS5)\r\n$65 $34.96 at Walmart.com \r\nNBA 2K26 (PS5)\r\n$69.99 $30 at Walmart.com \r\nMetal Gear Solid: Snake Eater Tactical Edition (PS5)\r\n$69 $30 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nCamera Deals\r\n\r\nNikon Coolpix P950\r\n$899.99 $769.95 at Walmart.com \r\nCanon EOS R100\r\n$529 $481.99 at Walmart.com \r\nNikon Z6III Mirrorless Camera\r\n$2,696.95 $2,096.95 at Walmart.com \r\nSony a7 III \r\n$1,999 $1,389.95 at Walmart.com \r\nNBD 5K Digital Camera\r\n$469 $242.25 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nSmart Home Deals\r\n\r\nRoku Wire-Free Video Doorbell\r\n$99 $49.99 at Walmart.com \r\nGoogle Nest Learning Thermostat\r\n$249 $179.99 at Walmart.com \r\nGPED Fingerprint Door Lock\r\n$129.99 $59.99 at Walmart.com \r\nGoogle Nest Hello Smart Wi-Fi Video Doorbell\r\n$119.76 $99.99 at Walmart.com \r\nPhilips Smart Wi-Fi Connected LED Light Bulb\r\n$25.97 $19.24 at Walmart.com \r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Black Friday Style DealsBest Black Friday Grooming DealsBest Black Friday Fitness Deals", "keywords": "Best, Black, Friday, Deals, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/home_deals/best-black-friday-and-cyber-monday-deals/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764099992.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/home_deals/best-black-friday-and-cyber-monday-deals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:37:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121696", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Parents Fought The World To Give Us A Family", "title_slug": "my-parents-fought-the-world-to-give-us-a-family", "title_hash": "4f4e0fecf865938201f23b18b49d837e", "summary": "I’ve read many stories on this page. Stories that made me laugh, pause, rethink my life, and even wipe tears quietly when no one was watching. But today, I want …", "content": "

I’ve read many stories on this page. Stories that made me laugh, pause, rethink my life, and even wipe tears quietly when no one was watching. But today, I want to share the one story that shaped everything about who I am. Not because it is dramatic or perfect, but because it is the very foundation of my existence. It is the love story that brought me into this world.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

According to my mother, my father was the kind of man who could make any woman lose her sense of direction. He was tall, calm, and handsome. Even now, when she talks about him, she smiles like she’s still that young girl who didn’t know what to do with the butterflies he caused in her stomach. But as charming as he seemed to her, her family didn’t like him.

To them, he was poor. A dreamer with no foundation. A man who didn’t look like he would become anything meaningful. They thought my mother deserved someone with wealth, comfort, and a future that was already assured. But love doesn’t listen to logic. It doesn’t follow calculations. My mother loved him, and that love was stronger than every warning her family issued.

Eventually, the pressure became unbearable. One day, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she made a decision that would change all their lives. She told my father she would like to get pregnant. He panicked, begged her to think of the consequences. She insisted it was what she wanted until he agreed.

And then it happened.

When her family found out, their reaction was nothing short of an explosion.

“It’s an abomination!”

“It won’t be accepted in this house!”

“This cannot be allowed!”

It was too late. Life had already begun its quiet journey inside her. And that life was me.

Eventually, her family accepted the reality. Whether they approved or not, they had to prepare for a child they never asked for but could not deny.

My father did not run. He did not complain. He worked harder than he had ever done, just to make sure she and the baby were fine.

A few years after I was born, my mother was practically forced to move to Accra to stay with her elder sister. Unknown to her, the plan was to separate her from her baby father and erase him from her life completely.

“Forget him.”

“Look for an Accra man.”

“Those your hometown men are good for nothing.”

Every day she heard the same words, but my mother wasn’t the type to be easily thrown off by pressure. She held on to what she believed. She held on to the man she loved. Deep down, she had her own quiet wisdom—the kind that whispers that sometimes, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t.

Years later, when she finally returned home and saw my father again, her heart chose him all over, without hesitation. She even got pregnant again for him.

Their anger this time was on a different level. But my mother didn’t care anymore. She knew what she wanted. She knew who her heart belonged to.

At some point, she packed her things and left her parents’ home. She moved in with my father. They started their life together in a small rented place. My father worked in Tema. My mother supported him. They struggled together. Fought for each other. Held on to hope even when there was barely anything to hold on to.

Against every obstacle, every insult, every discouragement, they survived. Their adversities did not tear them apart. This year, they celebrated twenty-five years of marriage.

Twenty-five years of weathering storms.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Twenty-five years of proving that love is not measured in currency. Twenty-five years of loyalty, patience, sacrifice, and faith.

Today, they have four children, two boys and two girls. We are all grateful they chose each other. Their story is not just a love story. It is a testimony. A reminder that when love is real.

—Edem

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", "keywords": ", Parents, Fought, The, World, Give, Family", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "47", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_1789.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-parents-fought-the-world-to-give-us-a-family/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:26:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121695", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband Brought Home Another ‘Husband’ To Take His Place", "title_slug": "my-husband-brought-home-another-husband-to-take-his-place", "title_hash": "4ad9ba0c1297f366ac1750a150a82543", "summary": "I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I think about how everything started. Sometimes I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if this is how …", "content": "

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I think about how everything started. Sometimes I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if this is how marriages lose their spark, not through cheating, not through fights, not through disrespect, but through a tiny pink machine sitting quietly in my bedside drawer like an obedient choir member.

After our first child, something changed in my husband. It wasn’t visible at first. It was subtle. The kind of change that sneaks in through the crack under the door. My husband stopped touching me the way he used to. Those early morning cuddles disappeared. The playful taps on my backside vanished. Even at night, he slept like a log suddenly afraid of being touched.

I thought maybe I was overthinking. Maybe childbirth had changed me. Maybe my body wasn’t as “appealing” as before. Maybe the stress of parenting was wearing him down. But after months of begging, hinting, seducing, bribing, threatening, crying and receiving nothing but excuses, I realized we had crossed into dangerous territory.

One night, I told him point blank: “Ebo, have you forgotten who we are? When we were dating, you used to do it as if you were competing in an Olympic sport. But now I have to practically book an appointment to even hug my own husband.”

He sighed the sigh of a man carrying Ghana on his head and said, “Araba, we’re no longer dating and we are no longer who we used to be when dating. Why are you expecting young people’s energy at this time when we have old people problems?”

My husband is 40. Not 78.

We argued so much we decided to create a timetable for intimacy thinking that would resolve our problems. He took a pen a nd a sheet and asked, “Which days do you want it? Be realistic.” I answered, “Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, I want three rounds there because we will be home and relaxed. On Sunday, we can cuddle and when I’m in the mood, I will give you head.” He looked at me as if realizing he married a dragon. He said, “I asked you to be realistic. This isn’t realistic. Two times a week is fine.”

He wanted it twice a week. I wanted it as many as the soul would demand. We couldn’t agree on the timetable so we couldn’t resolve our problems. The neglect continued. The tension grew. The arguments intensified. Sometimes we could go a whole week without speaking simply because he refused to “perform his duties.”

I started suspecting he was giving the energy to someone else. And he started suspecting that if he didn’t act fast, I would cheat. I wasn’t going to cheat. I wasn’t designed to get it from anywhere just because I wanted it. I’m very faithful to the core. The reason I always demand what’s due me.

So one day he said: “What if I buy you a ‘sezz’ toy?”

I almost fainted. “How can you replace yourself with plastic?” I protested. “Me, I want you, a living human being, not a rechargeable thing.” We fought about that too. Everything became a fight. I even went to buy herbal medicine—ginger, honey, powdered roots—everything that promised “revival.” Ebo refused to take those medicines. He said nothing was physically wrong with him.

I thought he was lying. He thought I was desperate. We both feared we were losing something essential. And then one evening, Ebo came home holding a small paper bag with the confidence of a man returning from war with a trophy. He placed it on the bed. “I bought it,” he said.

Bought what, please?

Before I could complain, he added gently, “Let’s learn how to use it together. I’ll help you.” And something in my spirit softened. So I accepted the “intruder” into my home. That very night, we tried it together. My God. Oh. My. God. The sensations! I wasn’t prepared. Even Ebo wasn’t prepared. He held the toy like a man holding a remote control, fully invested, fully present, fully committed. And when it worked, oh, it worked too well. We both looked at each other, stunned, as if we’ve discovered something new.

The next night, we used it again. And again. And again. Suddenly, the fights stopped. The tension melted. Even my skin started glowing. You can ask anybody. And that’s how trouble began.

One afternoon when Ebo was not home, I decided to try the toy by myself “just to see.” That was the beginning of the end. The more I used it, the more I realized something terrifying. The toy never got tired. It never had excuses. It never said “I’m stressed.” It never rolled over to sleep. It delivered. Every time and on time. It has become my second husband without asking to be.

Now, whenever I try to initiate intimacy and Ebo says, “I’m tired,” I simply smile, open my drawer, and bring out my faithful companion. When he tries to join me, I raise my palm gently, “Please, you’re distracting me.”

Do you know what it means for a wife to tell her husband he’s distracting her from pleasure? Even I shocked myself. Ebo now looks like a man fighting for a position he created himself. He’s trying to be more active. He’s trying to reclaim his throne but the sad truth is that he has never been able to give me what that tiny device gives. Never. And therein lies the danger.

Slowly, without knowing, I started choosing the toy over him. I started preferring the certainty of plastic to the unpredictability of flesh. Ebo became the one chasing. I became the one making excuses. We switched roles and the marriage quietly shifted under our noses.

Recently, when Ebo touches me, I feel nothing. No spark. No heat. No interest. Sometimes, when he kisses me, my mind drifts to the drawer and that scares me. It scares me because I love my husband. Truly. I love the father of my child. I love the man who once made me feel like I was his whole world. But the emotional connection we once had is slipping, and I fear one day the only thing tying us together will be just the child.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The toy has solved one problem but created a bigger one. Now I lie awake wondering: “How do I choose my husband again? How do I turn off this new attachment before it ruins my marriage completely?” I still laugh sometimes at the irony. Ebo brought the toy to save us and now, I’m fighting to save Ebo from the toy.

", "keywords": ", Husband, Brought, Home, Another, ‘Husband’, Take, His, Place", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "45", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/496066.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-husband-brought-home-another-husband-to-take-his-place/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:26:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121693", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Love Life Has Been Bad Since I Lost My First Love", "title_slug": "my-love-life-has-been-bad-since-i-lost-my-first-love", "title_hash": "db8fea008f8ee92aed398435976be480", "summary": "I am a Christian woman. I don’t know when love became so difficult for me, but I can tell you when I first noticed the shift. It was after my …", "content": "

I am a Christian woman. I don’t know when love became so difficult for me, but I can tell you when I first noticed the shift. It was after my first love and I ended things two years ago. We had dated for six years. Even though we were young, we thought we knew what love meant. Maybe we did. Maybe we didn’t. All I know is that ever since that breakup, nothing has been the same.

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I’ve had a few relationships after him, but none lasted more than three or four months. The reason is always the same: intimacy. He and I had our first sexual experience in the second year of our relationship, but it never sat right with me. Every time we met, he wanted it, and every time we did it, I felt something inside me shrink. I felt dirty. I told him, but he didn’t understand. He thought once you loved someone, your body automatically followed. Mine didn’t.

We were in a long-distance relationship, so we didn’t even see each other often. Sometimes once in three months, sometimes once in a month. But anytime we met, he wanted us to be intimate. I always felt bad afterwards but I never found the courage to say, “No more.”

My problem is that I don’t like being touched. The thought of sex frightens me. It makes me shiver in a way that has nothing to do with pleasure. Because of this, I don’t ask men I date for things. I don’t take things from them either. That way I wouldn’t be in a position where I feel indebted to them. I’ve lost several relationships because of it.

Last month, I entered a new relationship. I really like this man. He is calm, gentle, and intentional about me. But he has already begun talking about intimacy. I tried my best to open up to him about my struggles. I told him how sex makes me feel dirty afterward. How the thought alone can make me anxious for days. But he brushed it off and said, “Those are just single excuses. You will be fine when we do it.”

It hurt to hear that, because for once, I wanted someone to listen to me. I have always dreamed of a relationship full of life. I am talking about dates, long conversations, laughter, playfulness, and companionship. I’ve never imagined it as something fueled by sɛx. I want a partner who sees me, not just my body.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Sometimes I sit alone and ask myself: when a woman says yes to a man, does it automatically mean she has said yes with her body too? I am yet to experience a fun relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I am the one men don’t think deserves to be wooed or courted. No dates. No companionship. They just want to eat me.

My heart wants love, but men don’t offer love without expecting a pound of flesh. And every time a man walks away from me, I wonder if I will ever find someone who understands that intimacy is not the same as love—at least not for me. Are there men out there who can love a woman who isn’t sexual?

—Nina

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", "keywords": ", Love, Life, Has, Been, Bad, Since, Lost, First, Love", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_1812.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-love-life-has-been-bad-since-i-lost-my-first-love/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-28 10:26:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "121694", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Now That My Husband Is Finally Behaving Well, He Annoys Me Even More", "title_slug": "now-that-my-husband-is-finally-behaving-well-he-annoys-me-even-more", "title_hash": "6ed458bde5ce3fdba5777ffa031b2ad0", "summary": "My husband is behaving well now. He is doing all the right things. He is open with his phone, he comes home on time, his words are gentle. But here …", "content": "

My husband is behaving well now. He is doing all the right things. He is open with his phone, he comes home on time, his words are gentle.

But here is my truth: I’ve forgiven him, but I am pained by what he has done.

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We got married last December, and it has been a beautiful dream of a marriage. He is a good husband, and I am a good wife too. I’m not one to blow my own horn, but I’ve been a good wife. Food? Check. In the bedroom? Double check. Taking care of the house? I am up there, check.

On July 1st, my husband was careless with his phone for the first time, and it fell into my hands by the grace of God. Of course, I went snooping to see what was there. I found out that my husband is actually behaving like a baby again in front of his junior colleague. This girl is serving the nation in Ghana, and my own husband is using all the tricks under the sun, the one under Pluto, to get her to say yes to him. He wants her to serve under him, hm. But I want to give it up for the lady; she is doing the Lord’s work for me. She is literally ignoring this man. One day she’s passing corners, today something, tomorrow something else. She knows how to be cautious and was dragging the conversation out.

Had I seen certain signs before? Ah, yes! I saw the way he wouldn’t pick up the calls when I was around. He would let it ring and ring, his face looking like he’d seen a ghost. And then, the night messages. He would sometimes wake up at night, the phone light glowing on his face, tapping away replies while he thought I was deep in sleep.

I saw chats where my husband told the lady how much he wanted to sleep with her if she would allow it. Something in me broke that day. Maybe it was my heart, or my ribs, but something did break. When I confronted him, he stepped out of the house. The way he rushed out. Thank God no car threw him off the road.

So, me too, I picked up the lady’s number and called her. I didn’t call to fight her. I just told her, “I have left my husband for you, come and take him and be the woman he wants.” It was then she told me she didn’t know she was involved with a married man. The lie my husband told her! This man said I am dead, as in dead, and he is a widower, still nursing his wounds. That was why he still wore his wedding ring. My mouth was left open, ajar, but I had nothing more to say after that.

When he returned, he was on his knees, apologising profusely. “I’m sorry, I beg you.” Oh, what kind of apology did I not hear from this man? The only thing he didn’t do was promise me heaven. He even confessed to our counselor, which surprised me because he never likes others to know about our issues. The counselor called both of us, apologized on his behalf, and warned him.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

My husband has since taken serious steps to be more open with me. From the way I am seeing things, he doesn’t seem to want to hide anything from me anymore. At least to the best of my knowledge. Or maybe he has gotten better at hiding it.

The problem now is that something feels off with me. I’ve realized I get moody easily when he’s around. Sometimes, I just shut him out and prefer to stay in my corner. If he breathes, I hate it. If he walks past me, I dislike him even more. Everything about that man pisses me off. I’ve tried talking to him about it, and all he does is apologize, which is very annoying now. I want to be myself again. To the best of my knowledge, I’ve forgiven him, but I am pained by what he has done.

I honestly don’t know how to deal with it. I want to let go and not feel sad or angry anymore, because that isn’t me.

—Esther

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I am a responsible father of three children. The woman I am currently with is my second wife. She had a daughter before she came into the marriage, and I also brought a son from my previous marriage. It’s been two years since we got married and God has blessed us with a daughter who just turned one. All three children are thriving in the happy home we’ve created for them.

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In many ways, we are living fine. We don’t have serious fights, we communicate fairly well, and we try our best to support each other as partners and as parents. When it comes to intimacy, I have always taken pride in the fact that I satisfy her. I prioritise her pleasure. I make sure she feels loved, desired, and appreciated.

Recently though, there is one problem that has become so heavy on my heart that I don’t even know how to talk about it without feeling uncomfortable. The issue is that I am always the one initiating intimacy—every single time.

At first, I made excuses for her.

“Maybe she is shy.”

“Maybe she is tired.”

“Maybe she is adjusting to motherhood again, because breastfeeding and taking care of a baby is not easy.”

I expected things to improve when circumstances change but as time goes on, the situation is getting worse.

Anytime I try to talk about it, the conversation ends with me feeling more confused. She often tells me she is tired. She complains that motherhood drains her. “My body is exhausted. I need rest.”

I understand her struggles but what about our marriage? These days she has lost interest in our bedroom affairs completely.

One thing that adds to this is my work schedule. I am usually home during the day, but at night I am always at work. So the little time we have together are supposed to be the few hours when I am off work and she is free. These are the only opportunities we have to connect intimately as a couple. But that is exactly when she says she is tired, or stressed, or not in the mood. I feel frustrated.

There are moments when I feel like she is intentionally pushing me away without saying it directly. Even when we finally get intimate, it always feels like I am the one who forced myself to initiate everything. I don’t want a situation where I feel like I am pressuring her or making her do something she does not want to do. Forcing a woman into sex is something I hate with my whole heart. It goes against everything I believe in. Nonetheless, the way things are now, it is becoming harder and harder to ignore the feeling that I am unwanted.

This situation is slowly affecting me emotionally and mentally. Sometimes I lie awake thinking, Why is it always me trying? Why can’t she show desire on her own? Why can’t she reach for me, touch me, or make me feel wanted too? I don’t think a man should always be the one starting everything in the bedroom.

I know myself, and I don’t want to get to a place where I start losing interest in my wife. But that is exactly what is happening. The more she pulls away, the more I find myself thinking thoughts I don’t want to think. Thoughts like, Maybe I should look for intimacy outside. Maybe someone else will appreciate me. And as much as those thoughts scare me, I can’t deny that they are coming.

I don’t want to cheat. I never wanted that for myself, my family, or my marriage. Cheating destroys trust, breaks homes, and complicates lives. But when a man feels unwanted for too long, the temptation becomes real.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

That is why I am here asking for advice. I want to understand what is happening. Is it breastfeeding? Is it stress? Is it depression? Is it something I am doing wrong? Is she losing interest in me? Or is this just a phase in marriage that many couples go through?

I want my wife. I desire her. I want intimacy that is mutual, not one-sided. I want her to touch me, kiss me, hold me, not just wait for me to initiate everything. I want to feel like her husband, not a stranger begging for attention.

But I also don’t want to force her, pressure her, or make her uncomfortable. I need to know how to approach this situation in a way that is healthy and respectful.

—Simpson

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I still remember the morning everything changed. Kojo woke up, stretched lazily on the bed, and said, almost casually, “I want to travel and when I do, I don’t think I’ll come back to this life again.”

I laughed. After nine years of marriage and four children, how could a man say such a thing with a straight face? But when I asked, “So what happens to me and the children?” he didn’t even blink. He said, “You can find another husband while I take care of my kids.”

My heart skipped but foolish hope told me he was joking. I laughed again, touched his shoulder, and said, “Wherever you go, we go with you.” He didn’t respond. He just got up and walked out.

For the next few days, his behavior started changing in ways I couldn’t understand. My husband, who used to tell me every movement he made even if he only stepped out to buy bread, suddenly turned into a stranger. He traveled without warning. He disappeared for days. He switched off his phone. And anytime I complained, he fought me as if I had become his enemy.

One day he left for an entire week—no call, no message. My heart was in my throat every day. I imagined him dead, kidnapped, gone forever. Out of desperation, I called his parents. But when Kojo returned home, instead of being relieved or apologizing, he shouted at me, “Do you think I am a child that you’ll send my parents after me? Don’t worry. This marriage is over.”

He walked away. I stood there, stunned, because how do you process the end of a marriage when you don’t even know why it’s ending But then, he started acting it out. He stopped buying food. Stopped supporting the home. Stopped giving school money. Anytime I asked, he said coldly, “I only provide for a woman who is my wife. You are not my wife.”

It shocked me how a man could be so cruel to the woman who bore his four children. For weeks I begged, cried, pleaded. My pride was completely gone. I called his elders, thinking maybe authority would help. They came, sat him down, and asked what I had done.

All he said was, “Ever since I married her, I haven’t progressed in life.” I cried that day silently. I didn’t shout. I didn’t defend myself. I just sat there and let the pain run through me like water down a gutter. Those elders couldn’t help us. They left with the matter unresolved. Then came the emotional torture, the kind that leaves scars you cannot show anyone.

Late at night Kojo would sit on the verandah talking loudly to women. He would flirt, laugh, say sweet things, even exchange I love you, all loud enough for me to hear from inside the hall. Sometimes he put the phone on loudspeaker, almost deliberately, so I could hear every filthy detail. I stopped sleeping. I stopped eating. I would sit on the edge of the bed, listening to my husband tell another woman, “I miss you.” I would stare at the wall and wonder, What happened to the man who once held my waist and promised me forever?

One day, after he spent the whole night talking to a woman, I broke down. I called the elders again. This time they instructed him to move out if he wanted to continue living his new lifestyle. Two weeks later, he packed his things and left the house for me and the children. For seven months, I lived alone with the children. I learned how to fix things Kojo used to fix. I learned how to balance the household finances without expecting help. I learned how to sleep without crying myself into a headache. But most importantly, I learned that life moves on even when love fails.

Sometimes I called him. Sometimes I begged him. I used the children as a bridge, because somehow, even after everything, my heart still longed for him. But Kojo didn’t look back. He was out there living his best life with women of all shapes and sizes while I was home praying and hoping for restoration. Then one morning, everything changed again. He came home. He knelt and said, “Nina, I’ve seen my mistakes. The demons I fought have released me. I want to come home. I’m sorry.”

I looked at him and all I felt was emptiness. Not anger. Just emptiness. I told him to go to the elders and inform them himself. When they came and pleaded, something inside me whispered: “It’s too late.”

I looked at the man who broke me, the man who taught me loneliness inside a marriage, and I said, “I’ve moved on. I wanted the marriage yesterday but not today. Go ahead and divorce me.”

Kojo threw himself on the floor, crying, begging, pleading. But just as he had moved out of the marriage long before he physically left, I had emotionally moved out long before he returned. Sometimes healing looks like letting go. Sometimes strength looks like turning your back on the person you once couldn’t live without. Sometimes survival looks like saying, “Enough is enough”

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

I’ve given him time to proceed with the divorce. If he delays, I will initiate it myself. I don’t hate him. I don’t wish him bad but I refuse to go back into the fire that almost burned me alive. I’m choosing peace. I’m choosing my children. Ultimately, I’m choosing myself and strangely that choice finally feels like home.

—Nina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Months, After, Telling, the, World, He’s, Divorced, Husband, Back, His, Knees", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/2151073992.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/7-months-after-telling-the-world-hes-divorced-me-my-husband-is-back-on-his-knees/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-27 08:08:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "120436", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Partnership Over Power: Why Accepting Influence Is So Important", "title_slug": "partnership-over-power-why-accepting-influence-is-so-important", "title_hash": "6f729c12d7504e7d130c8451919ced57", "summary": "Accepting influence means taking your partner into consideration when you make decisions. It is a defining feature of happy couples. \nThe post Partnership Over Power: Why Accepting Influence Is So Important appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Accepting influence means taking your partner into consideration when you make decisions. It is a defining feature of happy couples.

The post Partnership Over Power: Why Accepting Influence Is So Important appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Partnership, Over, Power:, Why, Accepting, Influence, Important", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/GettyImages-1355479739.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/partnership-over-power-why-accepting-influence-is-so-important/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-27 06:56:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "120359", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Girlfriend 2025", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-girlfriend-2025", "title_hash": "77c231594cec31ea366250372567b4e1", "summary": "This could also be called \"How Not To Screw Up And End Up Breaking Her Heart With A Blender.\"", "content": "There are all kinds of relationships out there: casual ones, passionate ones, and ones destined to last a lifetime. But regardless of whether you've been together six months or six years, the holidays are a time to show your girlfriend a little affection (and no, not just the physical kind).\r\nRELATED: Gift Ideas for Your Loving Boyfriend\r\nFor some, shopping for Christmas gifts for their girlfriends — or just gifting for her in general — is a terrifying prospect. We get it. Figuring out exactly what she’d like while navigating what's appropriate for your stage in the relationship and staying within budget isn’t easy. Luckily, we’re here to help.\r\nFrom indulgent holiday treats to sentimental jewelry, we’ve curated a selection of the best Christmas gift ideas for girlfriends.\r\n\r\nThe Best Gift Ideas for Girlfriends\r\n\r\nVintner’s Daughter Active Treatment Essence\r\n\r\n\r\nWant to hear your girlfriend shriek and/or squeal with glee when she opens her gift? Something from skincare-brand-to-the-stars Vintner’s Daughter is a good bet. Their Active Treatment Essence, for instance, which is a whole bathroom’s worth of skincare products in one bottle and is suitable for all kinds of different skin types. You’re welcome for the pro tip. \r\n$230 at VintnersDaughter.com\r\nVilebrequin Madrague Backless One-Piece Swimsuit\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're planning on escaping to somewhere sunny during the winter months, surprise her with this vibrant one-piece swimsuit from Vilebrequin. Its '70s-inspired aesthetic will turn heads, while the backless design adds a bit of sizzle.$325 at Vilebrequin.com\r\nPop Song by Larissa Pham\r\n\r\nIf your girlfriend is a reader and an appreciator of things like beauty, emotion, and introspection, we think she'll love this piercing essay collection by Larissa Pham. Pop Song: Adventures in Art & Intimacy is a journey through the writer's life that's at once lyrical, sharply rendered, deeply felt and not infrequently funny. It's a portrait of an author in rare form and sure to be appreciated by many a bookworm girlfriend. $26 at Amazon.com\r\nTheragun Prime Plus Massager\r\n\r\nModern living can be pretty stressful, and you might not always be around to give her the much-needed shoulder rubs she deserves. Help her have a less tense time with the beauty of technology, and get her the latest massage gun from Theragun. Not only does it vibrate and pound away tense knots, it's got a useful variety of modes and different head attachments to serve all of her anti-stress needs. $369.99 at Therabody.com\r\n2025 Phases of the Moon Calendar\r\n\r\nLet's face it — the moon has an ineffable poetic beauty that's hard to resist. If your girlfriend has a bit of the poetic spirit — or a bit of astronomical curiosity — she'll love this gorgeous piece of wall art from the MOMA, which shows off the year 2025 according to the cycles of the moon. She'll know when it's waxing, when it's waning, and most importantly, when it's full — for illuminated romantic night-time strolls with you. $28.39 at Pinkoi.com \r\nCrane & Canopy Monogrammed Plush Cotton Bathrobe\r\n\r\nAn easy gift idea can be combining something useful with something personal, and this plush cotton bathrobe from Crane & Canopy offers the perfect example. It's an extremely cozy robe, made from 100% Turkish cotton with a shawl collar and turn-back cuffs for extra comfort, but you can elevate this gift by opting to have it monogrammed for some added personalization. From $119 at CraneAndCanopy.com\r\nFlint and Tinder Women's Flannel-Lined Waxed Trucker Jacket\r\n\r\nIf your girlfriend’s got a little country to her, she might not want a stereotypical pink and frilly gift. She might, for instance, want something that’s a little, well, tough. Luckily for you, the good folks at Huckberry are now making a women’s version of their iconic waxed trucker jacket, made to fit her body rather than yours. Congrats — now you can both look badass.\r\n$298 at Huckberry.com\r\nSleep Reset 12-Week Subscription\r\n\r\nWant to win Boyfriend of the Year? Don't just give her a gift she'll enjoy – give her a gift that will make her life better. Sleep Reset is the digital sleep clinic she didn't know she needed, offering personalized coaching to help her get better, deeper and higher quality sleep. Trust us: she'll be eternally grateful.From $225 for a 12-week subscription at TheSleepReset.com\r\nJoey Double-Wall Ceramic Mugs\r\n\r\nIs she still drinking out of chipped cups that she's had since her college years? Show her what a little bit of adulting feels like with a pair of Joey Double-Wall Ceramic Mugs from Fellow. Not only are they super chic with a shiny copper bottom, but the the matte black or white exterior is double-walled to ensure you don't burn yourself on a scalding cup of coffee as you rush to get ready for work.$30 at FellowProducts.com\r\nAppointed – The Notebook\r\n\r\nWho doesn't love stationery, especially when it's beautifully made (in America, no less!) and personalized with a monogram? Appointed is a female-founded company that specializes in \"elevated paper products\" that help boost creativity and aid inspiration, and their beautiful Notebook comes in a variety of colors and customizable options (lined, grid, or blank). Give your girlfriend the gift of productivity and she'll be reminded of you every time she opens this gorgeous notebook.$25 at Appointed.co\r\nBillecart-Salmon Brut Sous Bois\r\n\r\nThe holidays are a perfect excuse to pop a bottle or two. A blend of three different grape varieties — Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Meunier — the Billecart-Salmon Brut Sous Bois is absolutely perfect to sip on over a special date night meal or wrapped up in blankets on the couch. Don't forget to cheers!From $99.98 at UberEats.com\r\nTicket Stub Book\r\n\r\nLooking for a Christmas gift for your girlfriend that strikes a sentimental chord? Mission accomplished. From concerts to sporting events, you can fill this Ticket Stub diary with tickets from all special events you’ve attended together.$17 at UncommonGoods.com\r\n\"Daisy Jones and the Six\" by Taylor Jenkins Reid\r\n\r\nA 2019 bestseller, this book tells the story of a fictional band in the ‘70s in a really unique format. Romance, drama rock 'n' roll, it’s got it all.$30 at Amazon.com\r\nLuca + Danni Candy Cane Bracelet\r\n\r\nHolidays but make it fashion. Handmade in the U.S.A from brass and artisan metals, this bracelet is sure to hit the sweet spot.\r\n$39 at LucaDanni.com\r\n\"All About Cake\" by Christina Tosi\r\n\r\nYou might love David Chang, but odds are bae is more of a Christina Tosi fan. Filled with Tosi’s signature cake and truffle recipes, you’ll also find how-tos for simpler sweets like two-minute microwave mug cakes.\r\n$35 at Amazon.com\r\nNespresso VertuoPlus\r\n\r\nThe newest launch from Nespresso offers five-cup sizes at the touch of a button. Everyone deserves a double espresso with the touch of a button. \r\n$219 at Amazon.com\r\nVenus et Fleur\r\n\r\nFleur is the best when it comes to “forever” flowers. Even hues like gold or silver that you might think would be tacky look fantastic. While these flowers are a big upfront investment, you’ll save a ton on buying flowers throughout the year. \r\nPrices vary at VenusEtFleur.com\r\nSatchel & Page Apple Watch Strap\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Apple Watch, in every iteration, is a fantastic piece of tech, but almost all of its proprietary bands and straps are more suited to a day on the beach or a at the gym than time spent at the office or in the boardroom. Upgrade her watch's aesthetic by giving it a more professional appearance with Satchel & Page's leather Apple Watch Strap, made from vegetable-tanned Italian leather that feels as good as it looks.\r\nFrom $99 at Satchel-Page.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tStocking Stuffers for Women\r\n\tChristmas Gifts for Parents\r\n\tLast-Minute Christmas Gift Ideas", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Girlfriend, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gifting/holidays/christmas-gifts-for-your-girlfriend/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1764172792.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gifting/holidays/christmas-gifts-for-your-girlfriend.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-27 06:50:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "120353", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Bad Marriage Advice Series: “Never Go To Bed Angry”", "title_slug": "the-bad-marriage-advice-series-never-go-to-bed-angry", "title_hash": "b3fc7fdb146a51d26af7a4d546ba8858", "summary": "“Never go to bed angry” sounds wise — but research says otherwise. Learn healthier ways to pause conflict, protect connection, and communicate with love.\nThe post The Bad Marriage Advice Series: “Never Go To Bed Angry” appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

“Never go to bed angry” sounds wise — but research says otherwise. Learn healthier ways to pause conflict, protect connection, and communicate with love.

The post The Bad Marriage Advice Series: “Never Go To Bed Angry” appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "The, Bad, Marriage, Advice, Series:, “Never, Bed, Angry”", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/ChatGPT-Image-Nov-26-2025-03_57_44-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/the-bad-marriage-advice-series-never-go-to-bed-angry/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-27 06:50:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "120177", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When I Realized My Boyfriend Was a Married Man, I Texted His Wife", "title_slug": "when-i-realized-my-boyfriend-was-a-married-man-i-texted-his-wife", "title_hash": "b3b340c377b9e48b18d5fd35f5a597e7", "summary": "I always thought heartbreak was something distant—a storm that happened to other people, on other timelines, in stories told by friends over drinks. I never thought it would find me, …", "content": "

I always thought heartbreak was something distant—a storm that happened to other people, on other timelines, in stories told by friends over drinks. I never thought it would find me, slowly, gently, and then all at once.

When I met Opong, he looked nothing like a man who carried a whole family behind him. The first time I saw him in town, he was working on a project for a few months. He wasn’t even living in my city permanently. Something about him made me think he was focused, serious, a man with direction. He introduced himself with that deep, calm voice of his, the kind that makes you feel safe without even trying. We talked a bit, exchanged numbers, and just like that, a small spark ignited.

That spark grew into a relationship. A distant one, yes, but it felt warm and real. When he traveled back home, we talked until dawn. Video calls at night, laughter about little things, long conversations about the future, about how “our home” would look one day. Opong was incredibly consistent with me, too consistent for a married man, if you ask me now. But hindsight is the devil’s mirror. When you’re in love, all you see is what your heart wants you to see.

For a whole year, we dated. I had no clue he was married. Absolutely none. A married man should carry some evidence—a ring mark, a certain level of guilt, a behavioral glitch. But Opong carried none.

If he was away and I called, he picked up. If I wanted video calls, he never refused. If I texted late at night, he responded. Nothing, absolutely nothing, pointed to a wife and children waiting somewhere. And he wasn’t sloppy. Even the devil studies his tactics before he lies. Opong was smooth.

Then one random day, Facebook decided to play God and expose hidden things.

I saw a Facebook account with his face on it, but a different name. At first, I laughed. I thought, “Ah, so now people are using my boyfriend’s picture to catfish?” Something told me to open it. I wish that something had minded its business that day.

The profile looked abandoned. The last post was from over five years ago. But it was a wedding photo. My Opong was in a suit, holding hands with a beautiful bride. My heart sank so fast I thought I was going to faint. I clicked the photo. The bride was tagged: “Celestina.”

I tapped the tag. Her page opened. Her bio said, “Wife & Mother of boys.” And there were pictures; birthday parties, family outings, anniversary photos. His face was in all of them. My whole world spun. Everything inside me collapsed. You know that dizzy feeling where your throat dries up but your eyes start leaking uncontrollably? That was me.

My hands were trembling when I called him.
\n“Why didn’t you tell me you were married?” I asked.
\nHe laughed. “Are you joking? Me? Married?”
\nI asked again, this time calmer. “Who is Celestina?”

Silence. Then stuttering. Then the useless apologies started pouring like rain in June.
\n“I was going to tell you. I loved you too much I didn’t want to lose you.”
\nI shouted, “You promised me marriage while you had a wife and children already! I swear I’m going to let your wife know the kind of life you live in the dark.”

He started begging. “Please don’t tell her. Don’t destroy my home.”

Destroy his home? A home he didn’t think about while building another one with me? I went straight back to Facebook and messaged Celestina: “Your husband has been lying to you and me. I’ve dated him for over a year. I only found out here yesterday that he was married to you.”

The next day, she replied. And her reaction shocked me to the marrow.
\nNo anger. No surprise. She asked, “So why are you telling me this? Did he take you to his house? Did he introduce you to his family? Why did you believe him when he promised you marriage? Your relationship failed, so now you’re reporting to me?”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I told her it was a long-distance relationship so how was I supposed to know all that? And then she dropped the line that slapped me into silence:
\n“I pray you didn’t give him any disease to bring to my home. If I check and see anything suspicious, I’ll find you wherever you are and beat you.”

She hung up. I sat there, stunned. Frozen. After all that emotional damage, this was her conclusion? That I was the problem?

I cried. Not for Opong, and not for Celestina. I cried for myself, for the silly girl who believed promises from a married man who had perfected the art of lying. I felt used. Played. Embarrassed. And worst of all, blamed for something I didn’t even know I was in.

And now, instead of sitting quietly and healing, I’m burning inside. I want justice and accountability. I want Opong to feel some fraction of this humiliation. People say, “Leave it to God,” but right now, I swear even God understands why I want to embarrass him publicly.

I keep asking myself what I did wrong. Why was his wife acting like I was the one who broke vows? Why was she talking to me like I was auditioning to replace her? It hurts that even in their drama, I’m the villain.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

But there’s one thing I know for sure: I won’t end this story quietly. And I won’t. Opong will know pain. Not physical pain, but the kind of shame that cracks a liar’s confidence. If loving him was a mistake, then exposing him will be my correction.

And I promise myself this: never again will I let a man’s words blind me. I will go into the next one with an open heart and eyes wide open. Even at night, I will sleep with one eye open because a man is capable of things that surprise even the devil.

—Suzzy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "When, Realized, Boyfriend, Was, Married, Man, Texted, His, Wife", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/108360.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-i-realized-my-boyfriend-was-a-married-man-i-texted-his-wife/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-27 06:37:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "120176", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Want to Give Him a Chance but He Is Rushing Me", "title_slug": "i-want-to-give-him-a-chance-but-he-is-rushing-me", "title_hash": "13647d0ca4c02b45ed8601a6ad90c7bd", "summary": "I think I am in the same dilemma as the man who lost his first love because of distance and excuses. In my case, he has been on my case …", "content": "

I think I am in the same dilemma as the man who lost his first love because of distance and excuses. In my case, he has been on my case for a chance for the longest time. Now I am wondering if I should give him the chance or continue pulling his legs. I do not know if it is because I am almost clocking 30 and marriage is knocking loudly, or if it is just one of those sweet romantic situationships that end in nothing.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

There are two men on the battlefield. Eric and Samuel.

I met Eric on Snapchat this year in March. We started talking, then moved to WhatsApp where everything got intense. Later in May, I told him to leave me alone because I was in a relationship. He kept pressuring me to choose, and eventually I chose my then boyfriend. My then boyfriend left me in September and Eric came back into the picture. We picked up from where we left off and things have been good. No drama. He is calm, friendly and funny. Sometimes he makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

The biggest problem between us is intimacy. I have been on a celibacy journey because I cannot afford to add a child to my problems. Someone might say protect yourself, but condoms break and contraceptives fail. And beyond that, I am trying to uphold my faith. Not long ago he asked when I would be ready to settle down and I told him I need to be free from something I am dealing with. It will take about 36 months. I also want to settle in marriage when I know we will live under the same roof. He is in Manchester. I am in London. The sex issue and the early settling down have turned our daily conversations into a war zone. He wants something I do not want. I want something we cannot agree on. No middle line.

Now let me talk about Samuel. The man of the show.

I met Samuel in 2015 when I was in senior high school. From the day I met him until now, I have never given him proper attention. He comes with his “I like you” and disappears again. We have been on and off for years. We can go many years without speaking. In 2015 after school, we did not talk again until 2019 when I ran into him in Cape Coast. He was an uncle visiting his nephew. We chatted by the school gate and then disappeared again until this year. He found me on Facebook, and we exchanged numbers. This man still claims he loves me. He says I am the only woman who will complete him as a man. He has been on my case again with “let me love you and treat you well, I will treat you like a queen.”

I am afraid that if I accept him now, he will play me. Maybe as payback for the years of hide and seek. In July, he came to London for a project and we hung out. I could see how happy he was, like a child with a balloon. The love was written on his face and joy filled his laughter.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Recently he told me he has given himself up to December. If I do not accept him by then, he will stop pursuing me. I told him about my military problem that will take three years and my issue with intimacy. His answer touched my heart. He said, “Do you know I have never asked for that thing since I met you? I just want your love. I want you to love me and let me treat you like a queen. I want to marry you next year and relocate you to Canada.” He reminded me that he never touched me or even asked for a kiss when we met at the hotel. I said yes I remember.

I asked if we can be there for three years and then settle down. He said it is too long. He is only willing to wait until next year.

Now I am confused. I feel like I might lose good men because of the situation I am in. I do not know who to choose, what to prioritise or whether to pause everything and breathe.

Advise me. What should I do?

—Joan

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Want, Give, Him, Chance, but, Rushing", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2657.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-want-to-give-him-a-chance-but-he-is-rushing-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-27 06:37:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119342", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Unique Christmas Gift Ideas 2025", "title_slug": "unique-christmas-gift-ideas-2025", "title_hash": "df14ad77e0e01176e57638fb23fdf25b", "summary": "Bored of wine and ties? So are we. Here's what to buy instead.", "content": "Although holiday shopping sounds pleasant months ahead of time, it can quickly turn into a scramble when trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on your list. Maybe you have a large family or limited time, or perhaps you're just scratching your head as to what to get. And, of course, there's always that one friend or relative that's especially challenging to shop for. Whether they have hobbies that just seem abstract to you or they already own everything you could think of, it's time to pull a few unique Christmas gift ideas out of your sleeve. \r\nRELATED: Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Men\r\nWe're here to help. Consider us the call-a-friend option of the holiday gifting season: we've scoured the web for the most unexpected Christmas gifts on the market. These aren't simple monogrammed mugs, either: think unique subscription services, innovative gadgets, at-home fitness tools, and anything-but-ordinary brewing kits. All items that they might not think to buy for themselves, but can be put to great use – even during these crazy, unprecedented times.\r\nRegardless of your budget or time limit (yes, we've included a few last-minute options, as well), we guarantee you'll find a unique Christmas gift for him, her, them, or anyone else on your list below.\r\n\r\nBest Unique Christmas Gifts\r\n\r\nPhilips SmartSleep Wake-Up Light\r\n\r\n\r\nGive the gift of relaxing wake-up calls for 2021 and beyond with the Philips SmartSleep Light. Proven to help with sleep, energy levels, and overall wellbeing, this multifunctional gadget includes breathing and relaxation exercises, five different sunrise color schemes, and seven natural sounds to wake up to.\r\n$148.75 at Amazon.com\r\nNanoleaf Shapes\r\n\r\nNanoleaf have done the impossible: they've made the average guy interested in interior decorating. Every year, thousands of movie fans, music enthusiasts and gamers of every stripe spend hours of their time optimizing their space for \"RGB\" lighting, and Nanoleaf has been at the forefront of that trend for years. Their Shapes kit offers dimmable wall lights in fun, connectable tiles that you can arrange and personalize as you see fit, whether you're setting up a gaming nook or trying to set off your home theater setup.\r\n$289.97 at Amazon.me\r\nBrooklyn Brew Shop Bruxelles Blond Brew Kit\r\n\r\n\r\nSo maybe they’ve attempted to brew an IPA in the past, but have they tried their hand at a Bruxelles Blond? Didn’t think so. \r\n$18 at Amazon.com\r\nMinted Custom Art Prints\r\n\r\nShopping for the person who seems to have everything? Custom is the way to go. Through Minted you can get everything from kids’ drawings to old family recipes and notes made into stylish, modern pieces of foil art that they’ll hang proudly in the home or office.\r\nPrices vary at Minted.com\r\nApple TV+ Streaming \r\n\r\nAt this point in the pandemic, they have likely exhausted their list of must-watch shows on Netflix, but that doesn’t mean they’ve seen all there is to see. An Apple TV + subscription will give them access to a wide range of new docs, TV series, and movies.\r\n$12.99/month after 7-day free trial at Apple.com\r\nNational Parks Pass\r\n\r\nWhile they might not be keen to travel to big cities at the moment, the National Parks of America could be a safe and secluded getaway option. Whether they're into Yosemite, Yellowstone, or both, this gift will give them full access to parks across the country for the entire year. \r\n$80 at store.USGS.gov\r\nGrounds & Hounds Coffee\r\n\r\nAlmost anyone on your list will likely appreciate the gift of a great cup of coffee. And while it might not seem like such a unique choice, in the case of Grounds & Hounds, 20 percent of all profits are deployed to dog rescue funds across the country, which makes these tasty hot chocolates, cold brews, and dark roasts extra special.\r\nFind out more at GroundsandHoundsCoffee.com\r\nEmber Temperature Control Smart Mug\r\n\r\nAnyone who loves a warm beverage knows that the sweet spot temperature is short-lived. With this ceramic coffee mug, that’s a problem of the past: This Ember mug is designed to keep coffee, tea, or whatever else they enjoy sipping optimally heated all the time. \r\n$129.95 at Amazon.com\r\nHome Alone -Themed Sweatshirt \r\n\r\n\r\nThe holiday season wouldn’t be complete without a viewing of Home Alone. Give their movie-watching wardrobe an on-theme upgrade with this sweatshirt – that also happens to be very soft and cozy. \r\nFrom $29.99 at Amazon.com\r\nFantasy Floor Plans Print\r\n\r\nA creative twist on the typical home or office decor print, Fantasy Floor Plans features blueprints from the sets of more than 150 famous TV homes and offices. From Gilmore Girls to Breaking Bad they’ve got ‘em all.\r\nFrom $25.20 at Etsy.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Christmas Gift Ideas for Her\r\n\r\nDeluxe Millennium Falcon Waffle Maker \r\n\r\nWaffles from a galaxy far, far away? Say no more.\r\n$59.95 at Amazon.com\r\nScribd Membership\r\n\r\nIf your giftee is trying to limit the amount of physical ‘stuff’ in their life, look to the digital subscription. With a Scribd membership, they will have access to an extensive library of books, audiobooks, and magazines, but also sheet music.\r\nFrom $11.99 per month at Scribd.com\r\nMcBride Sisters Wine Club\r\n\r\nOne of the largest Black-owned wine companies in the country, McBride Sisters produces incredibly delectable white, rose, sparkling, and red wines from California and New Zealand grapes. Wine club memberships range from two bottles or four bottles per month to six of 12 bottles per season.\r\nFrom $40 at McBrideSisters.com\r\nRuffwear Stumptown™ Quilted Dog Coat\r\n\r\nIf you're purchasing gifts for the whole family, don't forget man's best friend. This Stumptown coat from Ruffwear will ensure your cuddly canine stays nice and warm on your walks through the winter and beyond. Not only does it slide on easily and feature a leash portal that makes it compatible with most harnesses, but its abrasion-resistant exterior might keep them a little cleaner after an outdoor adventure, too.\r\n$79.95 at Ruffwear.com\r\nMeta Quest 3S VR Headset, 128GB\r\n\r\n\r\nHave a gamer on your list? Upgrade their experience for 2024 with this Oculus Quest 3 VR headset. Featuring immersive sound, a comfortable design, and vivid visual display, it allows users to truly \"get into\" the game. \r\n$299.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMSR Evo Trail Snowshoes\r\n\r\n\r\nThere’s no time like the present to embrace activities in the great outdoors. Help them embrace all winter has to offer this year with a fresh pair of snowshoes – capable of fitting a wide range of shoes.\r\n$169.95 at REI.com\r\nMasterClass\r\n\r\nCooking, photography, writing, basketball ... they can learn it all – and from the best in the biz – with the gift of MasterClass. With an annual all-access pass, they can take and revisit as many courses as they'd like, with as many experts (think Gordon Ramsay, Steph Curry, Shonda Rhimes, and more) as they'd like. \r\nFind out more at MasterClass.com\r\nMerry Maids Cleaning Service\r\n\r\nFor the parent on your list who’s perpetually busy, or the friend who hasn’t quite discovered Marie Kondo: give the gift of a clean home. Whether they need a little tidying or a full cleaning overhaul, the Merry Maids team is ready to help. They've added all the necessary health and safety precautions to their service, too.\r\nFind out more at MerryMaids.com\r\nPaddywax La Playa Candles\r\n\r\n\r\nThe only downside of a candle is that once the wax is all melted, there’s nothing left to do with it. Luckily, that’s not the case with this present. Once the candle has brought its delightful scent to the home (scents range from orange blossom to vanilla rosa), its vessel can be used as a tequila glass.\r\n$35 at Amazon.com\r\nWall-Mounted Ski Bottle Opener\r\n\r\nWhat's better? A day on the slopes or the satisfaction of cracking open a cold beer after the day on the slopes? They can decide while cracking open a cold one on this innovative bottle wall-mounted bottle opener made from recycled skis.\r\n$50 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nAuKing Mini Projector\r\n\r\nIf your giftee typically loves going to the movies, let them recreate the experience at home with this projector. This tool easily connects to a smartphone and they can use it to watch everything from videos and TV series to photos and sports games. \r\n$87.99 at Amazon.com\r\nKohler Moxie Wireless Showerhead with Speaker\r\n\r\n\r\nFor the friend who rules the Karaoke game: turn the shower into a stage with this showerhead speaker. Sixty angled nozzles give a full spray and the speaker links up to a Bluetooth-enabled device to deliver a full sensory experience. Plus, it pops in and out with ease for easy installation.\r\n$123.14 at Amazon.com\r\nYnM Weighted Blanket\r\n\r\nThese blankets have grown in popularity as of late, thanks to their ability to reduce stress, improve sleep, and provide a sense of comfort and security. Something we could all use more of right now. It is composed of 100 percent cotton material for breathability, so they don't have to worry about overheating.\r\n\r\n$79.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Christmas Gift Ideas for Parents\r\n\r\nGalison Houseplant Jungle Puzzle\r\n\r\n\r\nLooking to impress your puzzle pro with a jigsaw that will test their skills to the limit? Galison has got you covered. This elegant jungle plant puzzle is challenging, to be sure, but also incredibly fun and rewarding to put together.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBook of the Month Club Subscription\r\n\r\nWith this thoughtful gift, which lets you choose from five new reads every month and have them delivered, you’re doing more than indulging a loved one’s hobby or distraction, you’re helping them invest in their long-term wellbeing!\r\nFind out more at BookOfTheMonth.com\r\nPolaroid Now+ I-Type Instant Film Camera\r\n\r\n\r\nLow-tech meets high-tech in this Polaroid camera. It works just like your classic point-and-shoot analog instant camera, but, thanks to Bluetooth, it connects to the Polaroid Originals app, allowing them to use features like putting two shots in one frame and noise triggered photo taking.\r\n$159.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTUSHY Classic 3.0 Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment\r\n\r\n\r\nOK, so this probably isn’t ideal as a first gift to give say your in-laws or your boss, but it is a killer gift idea for the people you can share anything with. All they have to do is attach the Tushy to their toilet and voila, they have a built-in bidet to give that just showered feeling.\r\n$129 at Amazon.com\r\nKombucha Brewing Kit\r\n\r\nFor those looking to garner some serious Instagram oohs and ahhs, start brewing your own kombucha. The probiotic-rich beverage, which has naturally occurring alcohol, can easily be brewed using this kit’s foolproof step-by-step instructions.\r\n$54.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPet-Shaped Pillow\r\n\r\nShopping for the perfect present for a pet owner? This unique gift idea is a sure-fire win – and it’s effortless, too. All you need to do is upload a picture of their pet, select the pillow style and size, and their life-like pillow will be shipped right to their door. \r\nFrom $60 at Pillows.com\r\nMedify MA-15 Air Purifier\r\n\r\nWhile an air purifier isn’t something you typically think of as the perfect Christmas gift, our wants and priorities have shifted a little this year. This sleek gadget removes up to 99.9% of germs, odors, mold, smoke, dust, or pollen from the air, and it does so quietly!\r\n$69.99 at Amazon.com\r\nOnline Cooking Classes - Sur La Table\r\n\r\nGiving the gift of an experience is more difficult during these trying times. However, it isn’t impossible. Bringing the experience of a cooking class right to their kitchen via Sur la Table. Whether it’s Thai Takeout or Rustic Italian, the 60- to 90-minute course will allow them to expand their recipe repertoire and provide entertainment for the night, too. \r\nFrom $29/per household at SurLaTable.com\r\nDaily Harvest\r\n\r\nThey may have all the latest tech gadgets, but do they have a fridge full of healthy snacks and dishes? Give them a daily harvest box or gift card Christmas morning and they’ll be set with a supply of nutritious smoothies, bowls, flatbreads, bites, and more.\r\nFrom $50 at Daily-Harvest.com\r\nLevain Cookies \r\n\r\nIf they’ve yet to experience the deliciousness that is a Levain cookie, it’s time you sent a batch their way. Made from the beloved bakery recipe and frozen for freshness, cookies are available in four different flavors.\r\nFind out more at LevainBakery.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Men\r\n\tBest Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Women\r\n\tBest Christmas Gifts for Boyfriends", "keywords": "Unique, Christmas, Gift, Ideas, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/unique-christmas-gifts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764083841.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/unique-christmas-gifts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:22:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119341", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Orgasm Gap: What It Is and Why You Should Care About It", "title_slug": "the-orgasm-gap-what-it-is-and-why-you-should-care-about-it", "title_hash": "46a8d258fd3acb272c1874a84ce6da9c", "summary": "Have You Heard of the Orgasm Gap? It’s Real (And It’s Ruining Sex for Everyone)", "content": "There’s a term to describe an aspect of the ways men and women experience sex with each other: the “orgasm gap.”\r\nIt arises not from ideological conceptions of sex, but rather from hard data. Study after study after study shows that in sexual interactions between men and women, a much higher percentage of men achieve orgasm — whether it’s a first-time hookup or a long-term relationship. \r\nIn other words? There is a pronounced orgasm gap in play, and female orgasms are on the losing side in a big way. \r\nOf course, this data alone is not enough to tell us the answers to other associated questions: Where does the orgasm gap come from? Is it a result of biological differences between men and women, or social factors? Can we bridge it? And if so, how?\r\nRELATED: How to Make a Woman Orgasm\r\nIn order to explore what the orgasm gap means for you and your sex life, we spoke with three sex experts to chat a little more about it. Here’s what they had to say:\r\n\r\nWhat Is the Orgasm Gap?\r\n\r\n So what is the orgasm gap, really? \r\n“Researchers have found that a gap exists between the frequency with which men and women experience orgasm, especially during heterosexual sex,” says Coleen Singer, sexpert at Sssh.com. “Specifically, women consistently have fewer orgasms than their male partners in general. In one study, only 39 percent of female college students compared to 91 percent of male students reported that they always experienced an orgasm from partnered sex.”\r\nErika Lust, a porn director, screenwriter and producer, chimes in with statistics of her own. \r\n“A 2016 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 95 percent of heterosexual men always orgasm during sex compared to 65 percent of heterosexual women,” she notes.\r\nWhen men and women have sex, the women aren’t orgasming nearly as much as the men — 30 percent to 50 percent less often, to be exact. That’s a lot of missing orgasms, particularly when you consider that women have the ability to be multi-orgasmic in a way that most men don’t. \r\n\r\nWhere Does the Orgasm Gap Come From? \r\n\r\nThe gap, Lust says, “has developed from a number of factors, which ultimately stem from a great misunderstanding and misconception of female pleasure.” \r\nRELATED: Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex\r\n\r\nThis list is by no means comprehensive, but it will give you an idea of why the orgasm gap is so big (and so pervasive). \r\n1. Men Misunderstand Female Desire\r\nSex educator Kenneth Play believes there’s a deep misunderstanding entangled into the roots of the orgasm gap. \r\n“To quote Dr. Wednesday Martin, we have this cultural myth that women want sex less than men, when really women crave sex as much as if not more than men,” he says. “The problem is that the sex they receive (especially in hookups) isn't satisfying, orgasmic or pleasurable. If we make a metaphor here, women aren't avoiding your restaurant because they aren't hungry, they aren't going because the food isn't good. Trust me, women are hungry! You just need to serve something better to find out.”\r\n2. Men Over-Focus on Penetration\r\nAs Lust points out, what men are used to serving is penis-in-vagina penetrative sex. \r\n“Mainstream media and pornography have historically glorified penetrative sex and ignored other means of pleasure, such as the clitoris,” she says. “There is a warped hierarchy within sexual relationships that deems that women should climax solely from penetrative intercourse, and where clitoral orgasms are rated ‘second-class.’ Most women need direct clitoral stimulation from oral sex or touching to orgasm, yet this is very rarely depicted in porn or mass media. Instead, we see women having these big orgasms from penetration alone.”\r\nUnfortunately, this kind of misunderstanding about female desire and pleasure isn’t an accident.\r\nRELATED: Here’s Why You Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex\r\n“There is a huge anatomical lack of understanding about the clitoris,” adds Lust. “In sex ed, young people are shown illustrations of the female reproductive system which are usually focused on the internal parts of the vagina instead of the external genitals, including the clitoris. Therefore most people are really shocked when they see what a clitoris actually looks like. It's not this small bulb on the outside of your body — it’s a large internal organ, similar in scale to a penis.”\r\nCarlee Ranger\r\n3. Women Aren’t Taught About Their Own Pleasure\r\nWhile poor sex ed prevents boys from knowing which parts of their partners to touch, girls lose out on knowing the specifics of their own bodies, and their own pleasure. And how can you teach your partner how to pleasure you if you’re not 100 percent clear on the subject yourself? \r\n“Boys are taught about sex through erections, ejaculations and masturbation,” notes Lust, “whereas young girls’ sex education is focused on what they don’t want, whether it’s pregnancy or an STI.”\r\nThe upshot of that? \r\n“When the time comes for their first sexual experience, [many girls] don't know what they like or what to ask for,” explains Lust. “Whereas most boys have their first sexual experience alone through masturbation, most girls have it with someone else.”\r\n“This means that from the very beginning of their sexual lives, [many] girls are taught to understand their sexuality and pleasure in relation to someone else,” she continues. “We grow up not knowing what we like, how to pleasure ourselves or how to ask for what we want.”\r\n4. Porn Gives Us a Warped Perspective\r\nMainstream porn, which acts as a form of sex ed for a lot of young people, is also bad at prioritizing female pleasure because it’s rarely shown in a real way. \r\nRELATED: 6 Reasons Porn Is a Horrible Form of Sex Ed\r\nAccording to Lust, it “glorifies penetrative sex that ends in male ejaculation.”\r\n“Comprehensive sex education in school is lacking pretty much everywhere, and when this happens, porn steps in as the de-facto educator,” says Lust. “The issue is that when most young people type ‘sex’ into a search engine, they will be answered by the free tube sites, and a lot of the type of sex they will see on these sites is male-centric. A combination of early exposure to this type of porn and inadequate sex education fails to teach young people anything about female pleasure.”\r\n\r\nWhy Should Guys Care About the Orgasm Gap?\r\n\r\nIt might be obvious why you should care, but for some guys, it’s not. \r\nNot only is it a deeply selfish approach to sex — imagine your partner focusing primarily on their own orgasm and telling you sex was over as soon as they were done — it’s also a pretty short-sighted one. \r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Being an Unselfish Lover\r\nAs Singer puts it, “If a guy doesn't care that his sexual partner has an orgasm or not, she will become frustrated, and a dark cloud will come over the relationship, oftentimes ending it.” \r\nBeing a giving, awesome lover isn’t rocket science — it’s basically just asking the other person what they like, and then doing it to the best of your abilities. Even if you don’t make them finish the first time, your enthusiasm and good manners are likely to earn you a second shot (and possibly a third, fourth and so on). \r\nNot to mention, every time a guy treats a woman’s pleasure as unimportant, he’s making her that much less likely to want to hookup again with him or anyone else. \r\nRELATED: Best Female-Pleasure Sex Positions, Illustrated\r\nWhen men treat women badly over and over, women are going to be more likely to regard men with suspicion. That applies in all kinds of facets of life, and it’s particularly apt in the case of casual sex. \r\nFor that matter, couples in long-term relationships are also impacted by this kind of thing. Spend less time pleasuring a partner? Maybe she won’t leave you, but maybe she’ll initiate sex less and less as time goes by. On the flip side, if you make her orgasms as big of a priority as your own, she’s likely to be more enthusiastic about your time in bed together.\r\n“Men have the power to help revolutionize the way they pleasure women in bed by making themselves aware of the fact women need more than penetrative sex to reach an orgasm,” says Lust. “If couples can open up the conversation with each other and find out what makes them tick and be open to exploration, they create a whole new exciting world for themselves to become better lovers.”\r\nThat being said, getting over-focused on the orgasm specifically can actually backfire. If your partner can sense that you’re really obsessed with making them cum, in some cases that can become its own barrier to getting there, if they feel pressured to climax instead of simply allowed to enjoy themselves. \r\nInstead of seeing the orgasm as the be-all and end-all, instead, focus on pure pleasure itself. As you become better at giving your partner(s) pleasure, orgasms will follow, and any orgasm gap will lessen as a result. \r\n\r\nHow You Can Help Close the Orgasm Gap\r\n\r\nSo where to begin? Glad you asked. \r\nIf You’re a Single Guy\r\nThe bad rap that single guys get when it comes to the orgasm gap may have a slight silver lining. With expectations this low, you can only go up from here. \r\nRELATED: Why You Should Offer to Go Down on Her on Your Next Hookup\r\nNext time you hook up with a woman, focus on her pleasure as much as yours. For Play, a huge part is that focusing on penetrative sex only is the wrong type of stimulation for most women. \r\n“Imagine if every sexual encounter you had only touched the bottom third of your penis,” he says. “That isn't enough stimulation to properly have a good time.”\r\nInstead, as Singer puts it, female pleasure is “all about clitoral stimulation.”\r\n“By taking your time to properly stimulate that area either through cunnilingus, fingering or vibrating sex toys, it is often fairly achievable to bring a woman to orgasm if you listen to her signals of what is working for her,” she says. “Many women already have a collection of vibrators that they use for masturbation and to achieve climax on their own. Take advantage of that!”\r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Women’s Pleasure, Revealed\r\nHowever, toys or no toys, what’s most important is “to take your time and respond to her verbal and non-verbal cues.”\r\nIf You’re in a Relationship\r\nAs much as it might seem like the orgasm gap is mostly a problem for those engaging in casual sex, it also impacts long-term couples' sex lives. \r\nNonetheless, couples who care, trust each other and are capable of talking about their sex lives are in a great position to seriously close the gap. \r\n“Great orgasms are a product of great relationships,” says Singer. “As with so many other aspects of relationship-building, it all comes down to exploration and communication to cultivate healthy relationships. This then has the benefit of enhancing sexual relationships and helping close the orgasm gap.”\r\nPlay agrees, noting that while much of the advice that works for hookups also works for long-term relationships, people in the latter have a significant advantage: communication. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner\r\n“Start the foreplay early in the day before y'all are even home together,” he says. “Ask her what gets her hot and bothered, what's her favorite way to be touched or if she wants to try a new technique you just learned.\r\n“Novelty and excitement gets the arousal for sex higher, learning new techniques that trigger different pleasure nerves keeps the arousal building, and communication and feedback helps you pinpoint exactly where the switch for climax happens and how to encourage it,” Play concludes. “If you learn all of this, you’ll help close the orgasm gap, [and] also help your partner tap into the multi-orgasmic potential of women.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tWomen Reveal What Finally Made Them Orgasm\r\n\tWorst Sex Mistakes Guys Make\r\n\tUnderstanding Hookup Culture\r\n\r\nIllustration by Carlee Ranger.", "keywords": "The, Orgasm, Gap:, What, and, Why, You, Should, Care, About", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2020/01/17-054927-the_orgasm_gap_what_it_is_and_why_you_should_care_about_it.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/the-orgasm-gap-what-it-is-and-why-you-should-care-about-it.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:22:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119140", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Cousin Doesn’t Have A Man Because Of Her Drooling Problem", "title_slug": "my-cousin-doesnt-have-a-man-because-of-her-drooling-problem", "title_hash": "c559c2b19c9cdf73f8c36c3162b40760", "summary": "I am sharing this story after I had a heart-to-heart conversation with my cousin. I knew she had issues but I didn’t know how badly it affected her social life …", "content": "

I am sharing this story after I had a heart-to-heart conversation with my cousin. I knew she had issues but I didn’t know how badly it affected her social life until she opened up to me about it. “I don’t even have a man in my life at my age because of this thing,” she lamented.

I can understand how hard it must be for a man to be with a woman who drools. Yes, I know everyone drools and it’s a natural happening of the human body. However, I am not talking about the cute and adorable kind babies even do. My cousin drools heavily whenever she sleeps. Morning, afternoon, or night.

It soaks her pillow to the point where it leaves patterns like a map. And it leaves an unpleasant smell wherever she sleeps. It doesn’t help matters that she has severe mouth odour.

Because of this, she avoids talking to people. She has no friends and doesn’t attend public events. On the few occasions that she has no choice but to attend a social gathering, she won’t speak until the programme ends and she leaves.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

She told me, “Sis, I have roamed everywhere with this problem.” I have gone to hospitals and seen specialists but nothing came of it.” When I suggested herbal remedies, she said she had tried different herbal medicines but none yielded results. “I have even consulted spiritualists. Erm… I saw a mallam. When his concoctions didn’t work, I went to see a fetish priest. He also gave me directions and concoctions but here we are. All these people took my money but my situation hasn’t changed.”

She is almost thirty but doesn’t have a man in her life because of this issue. The few men who come into her life leave when she tells them about it. Those who discover it on their own still leave.

Please, is there anyone here who has experienced this or knows someone who has — and found a solution? Help a sister who is in dire need.

—Louise

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Cousin, Doesn’t, Have, Man, Because, Her, Drooling, Problem", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-25-at-18.00.15.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-cousin-doesnt-have-a-man-because-of-her-drooling-problem/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:15:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119138", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Introduced Fire Into My Marriage And The Fire Is Burning My Marriage Down", "title_slug": "i-introduced-fire-into-my-marriage-and-the-fire-is-burning-my-marriage-down", "title_hash": "292af484e4fbe6c82975e27dfdfc7a6c", "summary": "It didn’t start badly. It started with me noticing how low the fire had become in our marriage. Our marriage felt like a pot on a dying coal stove: barely …", "content": "

It didn’t start badly. It started with me noticing how low the fire had become in our marriage. Our marriage felt like a pot on a dying coal stove: barely warm, barely cooking anything, and requiring constant blowing just to stay alive. We were good partners, yes. We were responsible parents. We were loyal companions who shared bills and raised a child. Everything was fine with our marriage except the spark we started with was dead and buried.

We could go weeks without intimacy. Even when one person initiated something, it felt like a chore. Like we needed to tick “adulting” off the to-do list. Gone were the days we traveled to Takoradi on a whim. Gone were the nights we lit candles for no reason. Gone were the kisses that made the world tilt. Gone was the fire. I mourned it quietly until one day I gathered courage and asked him, “Kumi, are you happy with how things are between us?” “There’s nothing to complain about,” he said.

Nothing? No spark, no fire, no playful teasing but nothing to complain about? Men can be dangerously comfortable. I pressed further. “Don’t you miss how things used to be?” He sighed the sigh of a 90-year-old man who has seen life. “Yeah, I miss it but it’s normal. We’re not young anymore. And we’re parents.”

Something about that statement pained me. As if becoming parents meant burying passion alive. As if marriage was a contract to forget pleasure. As if love only mattered when you were young. That night, I lay in bed and thought about our early days how Kumi used to lift me up playfully; how he used to whisper sweet nonsense in my ears; how he used to kiss me until my head spun. I realized those days weren’t magic. We made them happen. We created the spark through effort.

So I decided to make effort again. I sat down one evening with a notebook and wrote two lists: Short-term things we could do: more dates, intentional affection, playful teasing, small surprises. Long-term things: trips, shared hobbies, counseling, couples’ retreats. Then I went online and read essays about intimacy, desire, and how to revive the spark. I even watched videos. I wanted my husband back. Not the roommate version, not the co-parent, but the lover I married. I learned new ways to spice things up. Fresh techniques. Creative ideas. Things I was excited to try.

Then one night, I put them to use. Ei. My husband turned into a whole different human being. Kumi was speechless. He was mesmerized. He was moaning from corners he didn’t know existed. The man was glowing like he had discovered secret gold. I felt proud. I felt accomplished. I felt like I had done something powerful. Like I had opened a long-shut door in our marriage.

But then Kumi, still panting, turned to me and asked: “Who taught you all these? Have you found a younger boyfriend?”

At first, I laughed. I thought it was a joke. I even saw it as a compliment. As in, he was impressed. But the more I replayed it in my mind, the more I realized it wasn’t a joke. It was suspicion. And that one question opened the floodgates of paranoia. Suddenly, if I was ten minutes late from work, he was calling, “Where are you? Why aren’t you home yet? Let’s video call.”

Afternoons, he would call out of nowhere to check if I was “indeed at the office.” One day, he appeared in my office unannounced with the excuse, “I was passing by and wanted to check on you.”

Passing by? My office is in a corner of town nobody “passes by.”

At home, he began checking my phone at dawn. One day he found a number I hadn’t saved, a colleague I spoke to about a project. Kumi picked up the number and called the man, demanding to know his relationship with me.

My heart sank. When I told him I was going to the market one Saturday morning, he boldly said: “You should be home in the next one hour. If you’re one minute late, it means you went to someone else.”

I’m going through all this all because I tried to spice up our marriage? At this point, the irony was choking me. I had gone looking for fire, and instead I found smoke that’s suffocating me. I stopped everything. No more romantic experiments. No more spice. No more techniques. I shut down the very flame I was trying to ignite.

Now here I am, stuck in a marriage where the man I love sees me as a suspect. A stranger. A woman he must monitor. A woman he thinks is too “improved” to be innocent. And I keep asking myself two painful questions: Did I do something wrong?
\nAnd how do I restore trust I never intended to break?

How does one regret trying to breathe life into love that used to feel like fire dancing on dry grass? But now Regret washes over me. Not because I tried but because my effort was misinterpreted as guilt. I know I didn’t do wrong. I know I meant well and my intention was pure.

The sad part is that now, because of Kumi’s insecurities, I no longer feel safe expressing love creatively. I don’t feel free to be romantic. I feel like any spark I try to ignite will be treated like evidence against me. And yet, I still want my marriage. I still want the spark. I still want the man I fell in love with. I just don’t want to be punished for trying. I want Kumi to understand that love doesn’t grow by accident. It grows by effort. By intention. By two people watering the same seed.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Right now, I’m afraid. Afraid the trust is too broken. It hurts that my husband prefers comfort over connection. But I’m hopeful, stubbornly hopeful, that someday he will see my heart clearly again. That someday he will realize I wasn’t trying to stray; I was trying to stay. I didn’t want a new man. I wanted my husband.

And I’m praying deeply that one day, he will believe that again.

—Serwaa

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*****

", "keywords": ", Introduced, Fire, Into, Marriage, And, The, Fire, Burning, Marriage, Down", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/169269.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-introduced-fire-into-my-marriage-and-the-fire-is-burning-my-marriage-down/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:15:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119139", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Woman I Want to Marry is Marrying Another Man", "title_slug": "the-woman-i-want-to-marry-is-marrying-another-man", "title_hash": "44f36b83e9286c4cf0dea0a32c8bb4c8", "summary": "Less than twenty days ago, I lost my first love and only love. She is a doctor, a poet, and a writer who graduated from a university in Cairo two …", "content": "

Less than twenty days ago, I lost my first love and only love. She is a doctor, a poet, and a writer who graduated from a university in Cairo two years ago. I have known her for seven years. And right from the beginning, I told myself I would marry her. I was just waiting for the circumstances to be right.

For the first four years, we spoke every day. She felt my love, and I knew she felt something for me too. I often hinted that I would soon visit her father to ask for her hand in marriage. I wanted her to know I was serious about her and she did, however, I never took the final step. Over time, she became tired of waiting.

She kept asking me, “What is the point of all this talk?” She repeated this question over and over again, getting to the end of our talking stage. At the time, I was not ready to perform the marriage rites. So I always responded with vague reassurances, “Things will be fine tomorrow.” Tomorrow would come and I would point to another tomorrow. Then she would ask, “What is the use of our talking?” My answers were always silly and evasive, as if I was running away from committing.

Eventually, I told her she could do whatever she wanted. It was at the point that we agreed to stop talking. Two weeks later, she blocked me. That block lasted for a year. Then she unblocked me. We barely spoke and after a month, she blocked me again—this time for three years.

During all that time, I thought about her constantly. No woman could replace her in my heart.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Two months ago, I finally decided to look for her again. I created a new account under the name Jounieh Zidane. This is her name and mine combined. I then reached out to her. She responded politely. The only problem is that while I was pouring out my heart to her, she was busy telling me about her life. She said she was engaged. “I am also waiting for the results of my medical specialisation.”

I was happy that she was advancing in her career. The news of her engagement, on the other hand, did not fill me with joy. I told her the truth. “I came back to marry you. I hid the truth from you because I wasn’t ready but I have always wanted to marry you.”

She said I was more than three years too late. I had been absent too long, and naturally, life had moved on for her. She said she was content with what life had brought her and fully convinced about the man she was engaged to.

I didn’t want to give up easily. I insisted I wanted to visit her father or at least meet her. After some hesitation, she agreed to see me, but not take me to her father. We met at the subway. We talked for more than an hour and a half. Her eyes were filled with tears, as if I had disappointed her, and I truly had.

She told me the man she is now engaged to came to her six months ago and spoke with her family. “What can I do now?” she said. “There is nothing I can do to change things.”

So it is over. How do I accept this? I love her deeply. I can’t even blame anyone for my suffering because I know it was my silence and my distance that caused this. I never told her plainly that I loved her or that I wanted to marry her. She said she still keeps my manuscripts and the messages I sent to her.

What I do not understand is why she agreed to meet me. For years, she refused to see me, but now that she is engaged to someone else she made it easy. Does that mean I am still in her heart and mind?

I have never found anyone like her. Even though I work in a prestigious place surrounded by wonderful women, I cannot open my heart to anyone but her. She is the only woman I ever truly saw as my future wife.

Now, I am at the height of my grief and I do not know what to do.

#SB

", "keywords": "The, Woman, Want, Marry, Marrying, Another, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/WhatsApp-Image-2025-11-25-at-18.00.15.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-woman-i-want-to-marry-is-marrying-another-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:15:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119137", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Should Have Ignored That Message in the Group Chat", "title_slug": "i-should-have-ignored-that-message-in-the-group-chat", "title_hash": "566c3caace33af298b9e5dcbc9515545", "summary": "I met Akos in our class group chat. Everyone ignored her message. I almost did too, but something in me refused. She was lost, confused, behind in everything. I didn’t …", "content": "

I met Akos in our class group chat. Everyone ignored her message. I almost did too, but something in me refused. She was lost, confused, behind in everything. I didn’t know that one small act of kindness would drag me into a storm I never saw coming.

From the moment we met, she drew me in without trying. She had reported late to school in our first year, clueless about labs, clueless about lectures, and somehow, she trusted me instantly to take her through and I did too. We studied together for a quiz she didn’t even know existed. Soon after, I started walking her home after class. It became normal, though it shouldn’t have.

Akos sat next to me in class. She held my hand after lectures like it belonged to her. She rested her head on my shoulder during study nights. People whispered, teased, gave us nicknames. That should have been my sign to stop. But I didn’t. Because Akos was my addiction.

When exams came, she studied at my place. One afternoon, after a paper, she slept beside me. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. I fell asleep too. When I woke, her hand was on mine. Her eyes met mine, and everything I’d been holding back broke. It felt like a scene from a movie—slow motion, her eyes like heaven, her lips soft. I couldn’t resist. I touched her gently, looked into her eyes again, and kissed her.

After that, there was no going back. I confessed, I was shy but very honest: “Akos, I like you.” She smiled and said she liked me too. From then, it felt right when people teased us.

But soon, I noticed she was always on the phone. Long calls filled with laughter, private jokes, soft voices. She told me it was “just someone disturbing her.” Yet whenever he called, she made keep quiet so that he didn’t know she had company. She even lied to him that she was alone.

By second semester, my Akos had changed. She became jealous of every voice near me. She would accused me, doubted me, watched me like I was the cheat, when she was the one disappearing at night.

Her uncles lived close to her hostel, and she often visited them late. One evening, I caught her returning with a guy beside her. She said she was helping him with herbal medicine, something she knew because her father was a herbal doctor. But instead of explaining, she tried to provoke me. Later she called, saying she had gone out to “find a girl” for me. I told her I had gone out to look for one myself. I know my reply wasn’t one she saw coming, because she was audibly shocked.

Then her old iPhone stopped supporting WhatsApp. So, she went home, got a new phone, and came back with a new attitude, suddenly attentive, suddenly sweet, suddenly wanting my eyes on her again. As if she was trying to erase everything.

I do not know if it is was my mother’s praying working or what but oneday she told wanted to confess something. She had a boyfriend before she met me. When she went home, she found out he had been talking to another girl, and now they were having problems, hence her change in behaviour towards me.

So all this time I was… what? A distraction? A replacement? A bandage for wounds I didn’t cause?

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

It crushed me. She drained my mind, my energy, my peace. But, in the middle of all that chaos, she helped me pull through the semester when I was at my lowest. And that’s the worst part, because I feel indebted to her too.

Because I still love her.

She is using her woman prowess to get me back, but every time I look at her, one question burns in me:

Some days I really wonder… was any of this real, or was I just another thing she told herself so she wouldn’t fall apart?

–Kudjo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Should, Have, Ignored, That, Message, the, Group, Chat", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/27122039.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-should-have-ignored-that-message-in-the-group-chat/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:15:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "119136", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Wants a Confession for a Sin I Never Committed", "title_slug": "my-wife-wants-a-confession-for-a-sin-i-never-committed", "title_hash": "ba20e797d40e4cf94ab01289ec66d430", "summary": "Last night, my wife went through my phone while I was asleep. She read my chats with her younger sister, Julianna, and with Lucy, a National Service person at my …", "content": "

Last night, my wife went through my phone while I was asleep. She read my chats with her younger sister, Julianna, and with Lucy, a National Service person at my office.

I have a very cordial relationship with Julianna. She calls me “husband,” and I jokingly respond, “my little wifee.” She used to live with us, and even when my wife and I were dating, Julianna was instrumental in our relationship. I’ve visited her at school before, which my wife knew about.

In the chat, my wife read where Julianna said she missed me and I promised to visit her. Julianna replied, “Come early so you don’t have to rush and leave early like you did the other time.”

The chat with Lucy was, in reality, much worse. We have a vibe because she’s from my hometown and we attended the same school. We’ve gone on several dates, and in our chats, we discussed them openly. On one date, we nearly kissed, and we even talked about letting it happen the next time. We eventually realized how dangerous this was and drew boundaries.

After reading these chats, I expected my wife’s anger to be directed at Lucy. Instead, she barely mentioned it and focused entirely on her sister.

“Why are you talking to Julianna like that?” she demanded. “When did you visit her without telling me?”

Her anger escalated until she broke down crying. “Tell me you’re not sleeping with Juliana, and make it the truth. Have you kissed her? Where did you take her that you had to rush out? Since when has this been going on behind my back?”

I was shocked and thought she had confused the chats. “You mean Lucy?” I asked.
\nShe screamed, “I mean Juliana! Speak the truth!”

We argued all evening, and she still didn’t believe me. The next morning, she called her sister. “Say the truth. What is going on with you and my husband?” I was mortified and kept saying, “Stop embarrassing yourself! What could I possibly be doing with your sister?”

Then she called her father. “Juliana is taking my husband from me,” she reported. “They’ve been sneaking around. I read it on his phone.”

Even her father was shocked. He asked me, “Is this true?”
\nI answered, “Dad, you can take me anywhere to swear on any deity. Nothing is going on. We just have a playful relationship, that’s all.”

He called a family meeting. Julianna cried throughout. I couldn’t even look her in the eye. “Dad, I could never do that, I swear!” she said. “I thought she knew her husband had visited me before.”

My wife didn’t say a word about Lucy’s chat, apart from mentioning her name once in anger. There was a kiss we discussed as if it had happened, and we even planned for a “next time.” My wife wasn’t bothered by that. It was her sister she went after.

Now, she doesn’t speak to Julianna, and it hurts me that, because of me, she has accused her sister of something that never happened. I’ve been begging for forgiveness, but she says she can only forgive me if I “admit” I’ve had something with her sister.

How can I admit to something I haven’t done?

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

Maybe my relationship with Julianna was too familiar, but isn’t there a way to make amends and rebuild trust? It feels like I’ve started a fire in her family. I don’t even know if her parents believe us anymore.

Is there a way to regain her trust and prove that my relationship with her sister was just an inappropriate friendship?

—Jeffery

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Wife, Wants, Confession, for, Sin, Never, Committed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/freepik__expand__64723.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-wants-a-confession-for-a-sin-i-never-committed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:15:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "118910", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Queer Organizers Feed Their People, from New York to Atlanta", "title_slug": "how-queer-organizers-feed-their-people-from-new-york-to-atlanta", "title_hash": "4d084add072b23ecb1e44fff1fba4b40", "summary": "A Lesbian bar in New York City. A sapphic society in the South. Food insecurity is high in queer communities. And this holiday season, LGBTQ+ groups are stepping in.\nThe post How Queer Organizers Feed Their People, from New York to Atlanta appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

By Nov. 6, 2025, hunger was in the headlines and on the streets. SNAP benefits had just expired in the government shutdown, and cupboards were running bare for millions of Americans. That night, Ginger’s, Brooklyn’s oldest lesbian bar, hosted an event organized by NYC Queers 4 Food Justice to distribute food, Covid-19 tests, Narcan, tampons, and more.

\n\n\n\n

With Ginger’s usual Thursday karaoke night as backdrop, some 70 bar-goers perused the venue’s back room.

\n\n\n\n

Some came out with Lululemon-donated tote bags filled with cans of soup, loaves of bread, jars of peanut butter, packs of period pads sponsored by sexual wellness company LOLA, and bushels of apples, potatoes, or greens from a local Hudson Valley farm.

\n\n\n\n

Paper proof of hunger was not required. Ginger’s bouncer did not check SNAP benefits or EBT cards at the door; as usual, scanning IDs to make sure attendees were at least 21.

\n\n\n\n

The government has since reopened, but the government-driven food insecurity and economic upheaval remains for many—especially with food-centric gatherings like Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Christmas ahead. This holiday season, LGBTQ+ groups—like NYC Queers 4 Food Justice in New York, Peach City Sapphics in Atlanta, the Brave Space Alliance in Chicago, and the Okra Project, which operates nationwide—are supplying their communities with much-needed essentials.

\n\n\n\n

An ‘inspiring’ turnout

\n\n\n\n

NYC Queers 4 Food Justice was started by two community-minded New Yorkers, Kadie Radics, 29, and London Dejarnette, 24, in October 2025. In anticipation of federal SNAP cuts, Radics—the director of supportive housing at the mental health nonprofit Fountain House—sought help from queer groups to get a food distribution event off the ground, including the lesbian social club Butch Monthly.

\n\n\n\n

Dejarnette, a program coordinator at a nonprofit working to end student food insecurity, answered Radics’ call-out. They’d never met, but within a month, they’d planned and scheduled the first NYC Queers 4 Food Justice event: Nov. 6 at Ginger’s.

\n\n\n\n

“When I walked into that space on Thursday, every single butch or masc in there was ready to work and just wanted to know what they could do,” recalled Dejarnette.

\n\n\n\n

“The turnout that we had, and also the turnout of first-time food pantry-goers, I think, was really telling,” they added. Dejarnette found it “really inspiring to see that these people, who have been needing food assistance for a really long time [but] have not felt comfortable” getting help from a trusted source.

\n\n\n\n

NYC Queers 4 Food Justice’s inaugural event at Ginger’s fed dozens of people and raised more than $5,000 in donations, Radics said. On Nov. 19, the group raised more than $1,000 at Cubbyhole, a lesbian bar in Manhattan’s West Village neighborhood.

\n\n\n\n

“We want our food to be reaching people who need it most, because the people that need it most are the ones that have been left in the dust by the federal government,” Dejarnette said. “What we ultimately want to do is utilize this organizing power that queer people have had for generations.”

\n\n\n\n

On hunger’s ‘edge’

\n\n\n\n

The need for food is on the rise everywhere in the U.S.

\n\n\n\n

A years-long affordability crisis has grown acute. The longest federal shutdown in U.S. history worsened chronic food insecurity.

\n\n\n\n

Approximately 42 million Americans depend on monthly SNAP benefits, and the average recipient receives $187 a month, or about $6 a day. Halting those electronic payments created a ripple effect that hurt childhood nutrition and student learning, distressed family budgets, and sapped grocery stores of shoppers.

\n\n\n\n

SNAP “was supposed to just be a supplemental resource, but because we are so deep in a food emergency, it has become a lifeline for so many Americans,” said Dejarnette, who has run food pantry and redistribution programs since college.

\n\n\n\n

The government reopened on Nov. 13, but some SNAP recipients may have to reapply to the program to have their benefits reinstated, further delaying food access.

\n\n\n\n

Queer communities may be feeling that pressure more acutely. Research suggests queer adults are more likely than others to experience food insecurity. Nationwide, 1 in 4 queer adults between 18 and 44 years old rely on SNAP benefits to access food.

\n\n\n\n

Socioeconomic gaps are highest in the Midwest, where 35 percent of queer people make less than $24,000 per year, according to the University of California, Los Angeles’ Williams Institute which studies sexual orientation and gender identity law and policy. For non-LGBT people in the region, it’s 24 percent. The income gap between LGBT and non-LGBT residents of Rocky Mountain states is similar.

\n\n\n\n

Queer people in the South, which is home to the largest LGBTQ+ population of any U.S. region, face higher rates of discrimination, poverty, and homelessness. In Georgia, for example, 26 percent of LGBT people are food insecure compared to 17 percent of people who don’t identify as queer.

\n\n\n\n

In Atlanta, a group called Peach City Sapphics is trying to spotlight the particular food needs of queer people in some of Georgia’s biggest cities who are struggling to pay their bills, find housing and transportation.

\n\n\n\n

“Queer people get pushed to the edge fastest because the safety net is already thin,” Peach City Sapphics organizer Ciara Peebles said in a written statement to Rewire News Group.

\n\n\n\n

Many members of the southern LGBTQ+ community don’t have “supportive families,” she explained, so “when benefits get pulled back, the consequences are immediate.”

\n\n\n\n

Peach City Sapphics—which hosts not only mutual aid events but also community book swaps, reality TV watch parties, and crafting nights—saw the government shutdown hit its community in Atlanta and Athens hard.

\n\n\n\n

“Food pantries were already stretched, but now the demand is constant. People are showing up earlier, lines are longer, and we’re seeing folks who’ve never had to ask for help before,” Peebles wrote. “Going into the holidays without those benefits has made things a lot harder—people are literally choosing between groceries, bills, and gas. There’s just no cushion anymore.”

\n\n\n\n

Households across the country are making these kinds of difficult decisions. And queer organizations in cities across the country are stepping in to help.

\n\n\n\n

In Chicago, the Brave Space Alliance is partnering with a network of local organizations as part of a Community Resource Day, offering free clothing, baby essentials, social services, and more. And nationwide, the Okra Project has launched a number of mutual aid funds to help Black trans folks meet their basic needs.

\n\n\n\n

‘It felt safe’

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Many people who need help may feel uncomfortable asking for or receiving aid, including those in the queer community, according to NYC Queers 4 Food Justice.

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That’s why having queer-run food programs with few restrictions—like not asking for ID or requiring online signup in advance—is so important, said Dejarnette, who said they grew up on food benefit programs, including SNAP.

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“I had been aware that there were food pantries and options like that, but I didn’t think they were for me,” said Pierce Bartman, 24, who juggles multiple jobs, from social media and photography to restaurant work.

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“I think part of that is ego. Part of that is worrying that someone else needs it more than me.”

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But when Bartman went to Ginger’s in early November, seeing so many familiar faces put them at ease.

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“My friends were the ones handing me the rice, and my friends were the ones organizing the event, and it was at my favorite bar,” Bartman said. “It felt safe.”

\n\n\n\n

Bartman left with enough food to last the rest of the month.

\n\n\n\n

“We will always take care of one another,” Radics said, of the LGBTQ+ community. “There’s just something about that inherent oppression as a queer person, where we just have this shared understanding of love and consideration.”

The post How Queer Organizers Feed Their People, from New York to Atlanta appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "How, Queer, Organizers, Feed, Their, People, from, New, York, Atlanta", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/queer-groups-feed-community-07.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/26/food-snap-lesbian-hunger-queer-mutual-aid/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:03:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "118911", "lang_id": "1", "title": "‘Scrubs’ Alum Judy Reyes on ICE Raids, Humanity, and the Power of Storytelling (Podcast)", "title_slug": "scrubs-alum-judy-reyes-on-ice-raids-humanity-and-the-power-of-storytelling-podcast", "title_hash": "7e972655ebbb09e3095daf0b67eedae9", "summary": "Reyes explains how community is keeping people whole amid federal immigration raids.\nThe post ‘Scrubs’ Alum Judy Reyes on ICE Raids, Humanity, and the Power of Storytelling (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Imani Gandy interviews actor Judy Reyes about the handling of immigration policy in Trump 2.0, what she learned playing an immigration lawyer on TV, and why storytelling cuts through political nonsense in ways policy and punditry never will. They also discuss the importance of community, culture, and what it means to stay human in a country determined to see you as anything but—plus a little “Scrubs” reboot gossip for longtime fans.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Episodes like this take time, research, and a commitment to the truth. If you love B*tch, Listen, chip in to keep help Imani keep her podcast going. Become a supporter today.

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The post ‘Scrubs’ Alum Judy Reyes on ICE Raids, Humanity, and the Power of Storytelling (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "‘Scrubs’, Alum, Judy, Reyes, ICE, Raids, Humanity, and, the, Power, Storytelling, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Website-Image.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/25/scrubs-alum-judy-reyes-on-ice-raids-humanity-and-the-power-of-storytelling/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:03:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "118912", "lang_id": "1", "title": "North Dakota Abortion Ban Deemed Constitutional in Split Opinion From State Supreme Court", "title_slug": "north-dakota-abortion-ban-deemed-constitutional-in-split-opinion-from-state-supreme-court", "title_hash": "74181734509780a73fb073ca27244c7e", "summary": "Three of the five justices found the law unconstitutional, but four were needed to overturn the law.\nThe post North Dakota Abortion Ban Deemed Constitutional in Split Opinion From State Supreme Court appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

North Dakota’s abortion ban survived a court challenge after the state Supreme Court failed to meet the supermajority required to overturn the law.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The Nov. 21, 2025 d ecision reverses a lower court’s ruling from last fall that struck down the law as unconstitutionally vague and found that women have a right to seek abortions until the point of fetal viability.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Three of the five justices found the law unconstitutional: Daniel Crothers, Lisa Fair McEvers, and Daniel Narum, a North Dakota district court judge who sat on the case in place of Douglas Bahr, who recused. Chief Justice Jon Jensen and Justice Jerod Tufte found the law constitutional. A vote of at least four justices is needed to find a law unconstitutional.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The ruling follows more than two years of litigation over the statute, which was signed by former North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum in April 2023, just weeks after the state Supreme Court struck down a previous abortion ban.

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The law bars abortion in all cases except rape or incest if the mother has been pregnant less than six weeks, or when the pregnancy would be considered a serious physical health threat under “reasonable medical judgment.” Psychological conditions do not count as serious health risks under the ban.

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The abortion ban establishes penalties of up to five years in prison and a maximum $10,000 fine for anyone found in violation of the law.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

A group of reproductive health-care doctors and an abortion clinic sued the North Dakota over the policy, arguing that it does not fix any of the problems the high court identified with the prior ban. The plaintiffs said the law endangers the lives of pregnant people and denies doctors due process by not specifying when an abortion may be performed for health reasons.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The state of North Dakota maintained that the ban is not vague and is necessary to protect “unborn children.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Crothers, Fair McEvers, and Narum in their majority opinion agreed with the district court’s finding that the law is unconstitutionally vague.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The justices highlighted several pages of testimony from doctors who testified for North Dakota and appeared to have different opinions about how the law works, including what counts as a “serious health risk” and what “reasonable medical judgment” means.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“The State’s expert witnesses all testified they understood the law, but when asked about the meaning of essential terms the experts provided unclear and often conflicting responses,” they wrote.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The justices also noted that the statute appears to conflict with laws related to self-defense and the defense of others.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If ordinary citizens cannot understand how a law works, they have no way of following it, the justices wrote. This also runs the risk of “discriminatory and arbitrary” enforcement of the law by North Dakota, they added.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“It is the legislature’s responsibility to clearly define the bounds for the executive branch’s exercise of the State’s police power,” the majority opinion states.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The three justices concluded that the district court ruled correctly in striking down the law, but declined to take a position on the lower court’s finding that abortion is legal until the point of fetal viability.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In their dissent, Tufte and Jensen disagreed that the law is unconstitutionally vague.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

They wrote that in order to demonstrate the law is vague, the plaintiffs should have provided evidence of it being enforced unequally. Instead, the plaintiffs were basing their case on “hypothetical future conduct” instead of reality, they wrote.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“The serious health risk exception does not present a clear answer to every imaginable situation,” Tufte and Jensen wrote. “No statute can. This statute provides minimum guidelines to avoid arbitrary and discriminatory enforcement, and also provides fair warning to a reasonable person about what conduct is prohibited.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The dissenting justices wrote that when North Dakota adopted its constitution in 1889, abortion was illegal except when necessary to save the life of the mother. They said there is no evidence that the authors of the North Dakota Constitution intended to provide more expansive abortion rights.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The state constitution “does not imply a right to abortion as such, and evolving public opinion on abortion cannot create one—only a constitutional amendment can do that,” they wrote.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

North Dakota’s Republican-dominated Legislature passed the 2023 law with overwhelming support from both chambers.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

State Sen. Janne Myrdal, a Republican and anti-abortion advocate who sponsored the legislation, said she was grateful for the ruling.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“What it settled was that North Dakota believes in the life of the mother and the child, unborn or born, and we’re going to continue to do that,” Myrdal said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The North Dakota Catholic Conference, which lobbied in support of the law, said it was pleased the decision overturns what it called a “radical decision” by the district court judge.

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State Rep. Karla Rose Hanson, a Democrat who has sponsored bills promoting reproductive rights, said she was “deeply disappointed” with the decision.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“My concern remains that women’s lives and doctor’s livelihoods are at risk with this law,” Hanson said. “Abortion bans make it more dangerous to be pregnant because doctors are worried about legal consequences.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

She pointed out that the rape and incest exceptions are only for the first six weeks of pregnancy, before many women know they’re pregnant.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

North Dakota Attorney General Drew Wrigley in a Friday statement called the law “important pro-life legislation, enacted by the people’s Legislature.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

North Dakota Gov. Kelly Armstrong said late Friday he supported the U.S. Supreme Court decision that allowed states to set their own laws related to abortion.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I appreciate the North Dakota Supreme Court’s ruling upholding current state law, which protects life while including exceptions for rape, incest, and health of the mother,” Armstrong, a Republican, said in a statement.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Christina Sambor, a Bismarck, North Dakota attorney who represented the plaintiffs, said the dissenting justices are wrong to frame their analysis of the law on how North Dakotans viewed women’ s rights in 1889.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

She also disagreed with Jensen and Tufte’s conclusion that the plaintiffs based their arguments on hypothetical scenarios.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“The unnecessary increased dangers experienced in childbirth in our state due to this law are in no way hypothetical,” she said. “It is extraordinarily disappointing that this law will be allowed to stand and continue to cause harm.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In its 2023 ruling that declared the state’s previous abortion ban unconstitutional, the North Dakota Supreme Court found North Dakota women have a right to obtain abortions for health reasons. The state Supreme Court also found that the state may pass laws that restrict access to abortion to protect fetuses so long as the laws avoid needlessly infringing on other fundamental rights.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

North Dakota does not have an abortion provider. Red River Women’s Clinic—one of the plaintiffs that challenged the abortion ban—previously operated in Fargo, North Dakota but then moved to Moorhead, Minnesota. Executive Director Tammi Kromenaker said most of the clinic’s patients are from North Dakota.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“We know people will always need and seek this care, and making it illegal just makes it harder—and in some cases, less safe—to get,” she said in a statement. “We will keep fighting for the freedom and dignity of North Dakotans.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Reporter Michael Achterling contributed to this report.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

This story was written by Mary Steurer and originally published by North Dakota Monitor. North Dakota Monitor is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. North Dakota Monitor maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Amy Dalrymple for questions: info@northdakotamonitor.com.

\r\n\r\n\r\n

The post North Dakota Abortion Ban Deemed Constitutional in Split Opinion From State Supreme Court appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "North, Dakota, Abortion, Ban, Deemed, Constitutional, Split, Opinion, From, State, Supreme, Court", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/shutterstock_701574880-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/25/north-dakota-abortion-ban-deemed-constitutional-in-split-opinion-from-state-supreme-court/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-26 10:03:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "118351", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Still Can’t Forgive My Husband For What He Told That Hotel Lady", "title_slug": "i-still-cant-forgive-my-husband-for-what-he-told-that-hotel-lady", "title_hash": "17af3c1ad3b38d0591d6184cdbbcb362", "summary": "I had a daughter before I married my husband. Now we have a son together, by God’s grace. We’ve been living together for the past three years as one loving …", "content": "

I had a daughter before I married my husband. Now we have a son together, by God’s grace. We’ve been living together for the past three years as one loving family. When we were preparing to get a place together, he let me know that there was room in his life for my daughter. He accepted her as his own. He knows my daughter’s biological father is no longer in the picture, so he stepped up to fulfil every fatherly duty my little girl would need.

Six months ago, we had a misunderstanding as a couple. It was bad enough for me to consider moving out, but on second thought I decided not to.

We usually buy food from a local hotel near our workplace because our home is far. Sometimes I would buy for myself and the kids and the woman who sells the food would put it on my husband’s tab. One day, the woman told me something that broke my heart. I had gone there to eat with my daughter. After she served us and we were about to leave, she called me aside.

She said, “I am not supposed to tell you this but you are my friend. Your husband says that going forward if I give your daughter anything, I should collect the money from you. He says he will only pay for your son’s bills, even if it costs 1000.”

I became so angry. I confronted my husband when I got home. I asked why he was suddenly bringing division into our family. Mind you, he doesn’t even know the prices of their clothes or anything; I’m the one who handles everything.

Instead of responding maturely, he said that from now on, he would provide only for his son. I reminded him that he married me and accepted my child, but he said that was none of his business. His words hit me so hard I couldn’t breathe. I tried to pray, but I couldn’t. Out of anger, I left with my daughter and left him with his son.

I was at church crying and praying when the woman from the hotel called me to say, “Mama, your son is crying and dirty because his father has left with a customer.” I rushed to work, found my son, washed him, fed him, and we all slept until his father returned in the evening.

We resolved our problems and he stopped that divisive behaviour, but I haven’t forgiven him. I don’t think I can. I’ve tried having sex with him, but I no longer feel anything when he touches me.

Recently, I caught him cheating. I confronted him because our son is about to start school, and I know he isn’t saving anything for him; he is spending the money on the side chick.

Since he said he will provide only for his son, I’ve stepped back from everything. I know he will take the boy to a cheap school. I can afford a better school, but I don’t want to separate the siblings. As for me, the love is gone. It’s been almost two months without intimacy. He sleeps in the living room, and I sleep in the bedroom.

My daughter turns 11 this month. She told him she wants a birthday cake because they communicate very well. But when it comes to me, I’m just like a stranger in my own house. I hear he complains to the hotel woman that I don’t talk to him like I used to. I’ve been so quiet that now he is planning to move out. He thought I would react because he knew the woman would tell me everything, but I told her he can move out.

I don’t want to go to court for child support because he will only pay for his son. So I have decided to put up with him as he is. If he decides to leave, that’s fine with me. Am I taking things too far?

—Joana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Still, Can’t, Forgive, Husband, For, What, Told, That, Hotel, Lady", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/whatsapp-image-2025-11-25-at-10.07.14.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-still-cant-forgive-my-husband-for-what-he-told-that-hotel-lady/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 05:16:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "118024", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Relationship Burnout", "title_slug": "relationship-burnout", "title_hash": "504b65e5e032f0a55dbd616b6adf5250", "summary": "Learn the signs of relationship burnout and how to recover from it. You may feel stuck, but there are proven ways to reconnect.\nThe post Relationship Burnout appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn the signs of relationship burnout and how to recover from it. You may feel stuck, but there are proven ways to reconnect.

The post Relationship Burnout appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Relationship, Burnout", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/GettyImages-1333003595.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/relationship-burnout/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 04:27:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117950", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Proud Men Fail with Women (& Why Arrogant Men Succeed)", "title_slug": "why-proud-men-fail-with-women-why-arrogant-men-succeed", "title_hash": "d848d150e61a5ba04a3b76c2eef209cd", "summary": "Some men are too proud to succeed with women. But not the arrogant man. He succeeds with women in spades. What separates futile pride from triumphant arrogance?\nThe world is littered with men far too proud to ever succeed with women.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"'I'm$ Some men are too proud to succeed with women. But not the arrogant man. He succeeds with women in spades. What separates futile pride from triumphant arrogance?

The world is littered with men far too proud to ever succeed with women.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Proud, Men, Fail, with, Women, Why, Arrogant, Men, Succeed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/pride-arrogance-success-with-women-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-proud-men-fail-women-why-arrogant-men-succeed", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 04:15:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117948", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Lubricants for Sex", "title_slug": "the-best-lubricants-for-sex", "title_hash": "e1bb2cad6ad894e866422eb5feface0a", "summary": "Whether you're looking to smooth out your couple's sex life or are just interested in making your personal activities more enjoyable, here is the lowdown on lube.", "content": "In TV and movies, sex scenes typically go off without a hitch (unless you're watching some romantic comedy where it's purposely awkward). \r\nThe same applies in most pornography: No one ever reaches for a bottle of lube mid-act — but the truth of the matter is that lube is an important and necessary addition to good sex a lot of the time, and it does get used often in porn (just not on camera). \r\nIn real life, adding the right lube to whatever sex act you're doing can be the difference between a mediocre encounter and a mutually gratifying sexual experience. (And, if you’re the one being penetrated, it can mean the difference between a pleasurable hookup and a seriously painful experience.)\r\nSure, there's something that feels slightly awkward about pausing things right in the middle in order to lube up — but regardless of whether you’re giving or taking, it's totally worth it.\r\n“Lube is often overlooked, but it’s essential to a healthy and active sex life,” explains Dr. Lee Phillips, psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist. \r\n“It helps keep everything moving smoothly and comfortably for all kinds of salacious fun and supplements your body’s natural moisture for longer-lasting and more enjoyable sex.” \r\nBut before you hit your local drugstore and choose whatever bottle happens to be on sale that week, you'll want to educate yourself on the different formulas available, what they're best used for and why that is. \r\nHere's a look at the best lubricants to use for whatever kind of sex you're having — plus recommendations for the best one to get the job done.\r\nRELATED: How to Have Better Sex Tonight\r\nThat being said, when you're on the market for a new lube, keep in mind that while these formulas work well for certain acts, personal preference acts as the trump card. \r\nAs Phillips says, “It's an experiment to see what works best for you.” If your budget allows for it, test drive a few options to see what works best for you and your partner(s). \r\n\r\nThe Best Water-Based Lubricants\r\n\r\nAs the name suggests, water-based lubes are water-based. While this makes for a versatile formula, it may not be the best choice if you're looking for long-lasting lube.\r\nThe pros: Water-based lubes are “great with toys, as they won't compromise the integrity of the material,” Phillips explains. Water-based lubes cost less than other types of lube, making them easy on the wallet. And there’s a vast selection to choose from, including vegan-friendly and organic options. Another benefit is that water-based lubes clean up quickly and easily, with just a little soapy water and a towel.The cons: As Dr. Jenni Skyler, an LMFT- and AASECT-certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com explains, the versatility of water-based lubes is also their biggest drawback. “As the ultimate jack-of-all-trades, water-based lubes are the master of none as they dry up more quickly than others and need more frequent re-application,” she explains.\r\nSlippery Stuff Lubricant Gel\r\n\r\nIf you're opting for a water-based lube, this long-lasting formula is worth tracking down — even though it's not as easy to find as the other staples you might come across at the drugstore. And although the price point might be steep, a better-quality water-based lube means less time spent reapplying, which will save you money in the long run. Not to mention a more effective shag session. And a little bit goes a long way — just a pump, and you're in business.\r\n$18.59 at Amazon.com\r\nSliquid H2O Original Water-Based Lubricant\r\n\r\nThis formula from Sliquid is a classic. Though it's water-based, the formula is long-lasting, can be used safely with all sex toys and condoms and won't stain your sheets for easy cleanup.\r\n$17.60 at Amazon.com\r\nLovehoney Discover Water-Based Lubricant\r\n\r\nThis thicker water-based formula is ideal for anal play and can be used safely with any anal toy. It's safe for condoms and makes for easy clean-up while providing that much-needed extra glide for your anal endeavors.\r\n$16.99 at LoveHoney.com\r\nSatisfyer Neutral Lubricant\r\n\r\nA little bit goes a long way, which is one of the many things that makes this neutral lubricant from Satisfyer a great pick. Keep things slippery with a grease and oil-free formula — at a very satisfying price point.\r\n$19.95 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nThe Best Silicone-Based Lubes\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for the slickest formula on the market, silicone-based lubes will get the job done. \r\nRELATED: How to Have Sex in Water \r\n“These lubes are made from silicone, a versatile substance used in everything from medical equipment to cooking utensils,” Skyler explains. \r\nThe pros: “Silicone lubes are actually waterproof, so you can use them in the shower and anywhere you might get wet and wild,” says Skyler. They're also long-lasting. Since your body doesn't absorb silicone like it does the water in water-based lubes, you won't need to reapply as frequently. Because of their slickness and longevity, silicone lubes are most recommended for anal play — without toys, though. The cons: Using a silicone lube with your silicone-based sex toy may damage it and is not recommended. As Phillips points out, silicone lubricants often come at a higher price point than water-based lubes. But when considering their longevity, it may be more economical to use silicone-based lubes. \r\nSwiss Navy Silicone-Based Lubricant\r\n\r\nThis formula will make you appreciate Swiss efficiency. This one comes in water and silicone-based formulas in a leakproof bottle, so rest assured if you and your lady get so hooked that you end up carrying your bottle back and forth between your two places. The Swiss don't mess around — made from the highest-grade silicone. This formula will make both anal and vaginal penetration more pleasurable. \r\n$37.99 at Amazon.com\r\npjur Original Silicone Lubricant\r\n\r\nNeed something thicker and more long-lasting? Give the pjur Original Silicone Lubricant a try. Though this formula is more expensive, it lasts longer and requires less frequent reapplication. This is a solid option for adding extra lubrication to any shower sex act. \r\n$24.49 at Amazon.com\r\nÜberlube Silicone Lubricant\r\n\r\nÜberlube first launched in 2004, making it a relatively recent entrant into the sex products space, but it’s clear that they know what they’re doing. Silky smooth and incredibly long-lasting, it’s easy to see why so many reviewers note that a little goes a long way. \r\n$21.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSliquid Silver Silicone-Based Lube\r\n\r\nNot content to make a great water-based lube, liquid also boasts a strong entry in the silicone game. Made from medical-grade silicone and “formulated by sensitive women,” it’s long-lasting and has a great overall feel. \r\n$16 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nOil-Based Lubricants\r\n\r\nOut of all types of lubes, oil-based wins for longevity. \r\n“Oil-based lubes (or just oil, like coconut oil) have a luxuriously longer shelf life than all of the above,” explains Phillips. However, there are some factors to consider when opting for oil-based.\r\nThe pros: Oil-based lubricants and oils like coconut oil take the cake for longevity and are often the most natural lubricant option. “I find that since all other water-based, silicone, and/or hybrids are not FDA approved and come with their own pros and cons, oil-based is a good option for those who want to avoid any chemicals,” says Phillips.The cons: “Oil-based lubes are not safe to use with condoms and can damage sex toys made from rubber-based materials like TPE, TPR or jelly,” says Skyler. They can also permanently stain sheets and clothing. “On rare occasions, they can also cause some health complications, such as urinary tract and yeast infections,” Skyler adds.\r\nAH! Yes OB Natural Plant Oil Based Lubricant\r\n\r\nThis all-natural plant oil lubricant feels luxurious to apply. It can be used as a personal lubricant or to get things started with a full-body massage. As with other oil-based lubricants, it should not be used with condoms. However, this formula is compatible with sex toys that are made from silicone for long-lasting, damage-free play. \r\n$34.99 at Amazon.com\r\nOrganic Glide Natural Personal Lubricant\r\n\r\nWant long-lasting lube that's all-natural and edible? This formula from Organic Glide checks all the boxes. It is engineered to be gentle on vaginas and includes probiotics that prevent yeast infections and UTIs. \r\n$22.95 at Amazon.com\r\nBeia Body and Intimacy Serum\r\n\r\nThis all-natural oil-based lubricant feels like a luxury experience. Don't let the price tag put you off. This innovative lube provides long-lasting, lightweight moisture where you need it without any harmful ingredients. It also smells incredible.\r\n$43 at BeiaBeauty.com\r\n\r\nThe Best Flavored Lubricants\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for a fun way to improve oral sex, flavored lubes keep things slippery while providing a fun burst of flavor. Made in a wide variety of fun flavors, there's no shortage of options for edible lube for those who are interested in having a taste.\r\nThe pros: “Flavored lubes come in a wide assortment of yummy options and can lead to a lot of tongue play,” says Skyler. They can also make oral sex last longer; thanks to the additional slippage they provide. The cons: “Flavored lubes are only great for oral sex, primarily fellatio,” Phillips explains. “They tend to be flavored because of sugar or sugar substitutes, which can be dangerous for the vagina when it comes to yeast infections.” This means it's important to use only during oral sex with a penis, or to select a sugar-free option that won't irritate vaginas. \r\n#LubeLife Water-Based Piña Colada Flavored Lubricant\r\n\r\nThirsty for a taste of something tropical? #LubeLife’s delicious piña colada lube is just what you need. An unbeatable price meets a fantastic flavor that’ll have you coming back for more. What’s not to like? \r\n$9.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSliquid Swirl Green Apple Flavoured Lubricant\r\n\r\nIf you’re environmentally conscious, the Sliquid Swirl Green Apple Flavoured Lubricant is vegan-friendly and contains no glycerin or parabens.\r\n$16.99 at LoveHoney.com\r\nDoc Johnson Hot Motion Flavored Lubricant\r\n\r\nNot sure which flavor will do it for you? Why not try a selection of lubes? This multipack of Hot Motion lubes from Doc Johnson contains five different flavors to tickle your taste buds at a price you can't beat.\r\n$16.99 at LoveHoney.com\r\nA&E Flavored Glide\r\n\r\nA tried-and-true option, Adam & Eve flavored lubricants come in a variety of flavors, from traditional fruit options like strawberry and watermelon to inventive flavors like cotton candy. They're all sugar-free, which makes them vagina-friendly. \r\n$14.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThe Best Lubricants for Anal SexThe Best Cock Rings to Help Your Erections (and How to Choose the Right Size)Best Fertility-Friendly Lubricants When Trying to Get Pregnant", "keywords": "The, Best, Lubricants, for, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_150/188_love_tip/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764006641.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_150/188_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 04:15:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117949", "lang_id": "1", "title": "20 Best Christmas Gifts Under $20", "title_slug": "20-best-christmas-gifts-under-20", "title_hash": "6f0e164ae57e7b6976de2327f17496e6", "summary": "Proof the Best Gifts Aren't Necessarily the Most Expensive", "content": "So you've got your list, you're checking it twice and you're all set to treat your loved ones to gifts worthy of how wonderful they are. But, then you remember your neighbor who recently helped you out with a couple of grocery runs; you should probably get them a little something to show your gratitude this holiday season. Oh, and what about that coworker who was always so great about helping you with technical stuff while working from home? He definitely deserves a small token of appreciation, too. As more and more gift ideas start rolling in, it's easy to see how quickly your list can take a turn for the expensive. But don't worry, we've got your back.\r\nRELATED: Christmas Gift Ideas for Men\r\nWhen shopping for Christmas gifts for those who aren't the closest to you — such as acquaintances, coworkers, or family friends — you really don't need to blow your budget. Yes, you should probably pick up a small present to show that you care, but you certainly don’t need to spend more than $20 to give them something they'll really appreciate. That's why we've rounded up our favorite don't-break-the-bank gifts that are designed to delight just about everyone on your list. Check 'em all out below.\r\n\r\nBest Christmas Gift Ideas Under $20\r\n\r\nCarhartt Cuffed Beanie\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Carhartt brand is always a great gift option, especially when you're operating on a tight budget, as they thread the needle to deliver quality products at reasonable prices, and their Cuffed Beanie is a perfect case-in-point. Warm, stylish and available in a wide range of colors, this will be your giftee's go-to headwear option all winter long.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nElectric Wine Opener\r\n\r\n\r\nFile this under the \"classy gifts that look more expensive than they actually are\" category. An electric wine opener takes away all the pain of de-corking your vino, which makes it a practical gift for anyone who loves to host or raise a glass during the holiday season, and this model simultaneously looks sleek and operates quietly and efficiently, making it a bargain at even double the price.\r\n$13.09 at Amazon.com\r\nACOHICE Vinyl Record Drink Coasters\r\n\r\nThese sets of six coasters in the shape of mini vinyl records would make the perfect addition to any music lover's home. They feature an anti-skid cushion and no-slip design, so you won't be casually spilling drinks, while each individual coaster features unique artwork. \r\n$8.99 at Amazon.com\r\nRotten Tomatoes: The Ultimate Binge Guide\r\n\r\nIf they're someone who's always looking for a great show to binge, this Kindle book covers all of the best shows ever made, to date. It's the first ever TV-focused book from Rotten Tomatoes, the most trusted measurement of quality entertainment, and it purports to cover the \"296 must-see shows that changed the way we watch TV.\" Part tome, part binge-watching challenge, they'll never again be left scratching their head wondering what to watch next.\r\n$15.96 at Amazon.com\r\nThoughtfully Gourmet Luchador Hot Sauce Gift Set\r\n\r\n\r\nIf they’re the type of person that knows everything's a little better with a dash (or four) of hot sauce, they'll love this \"emergency\" kit of tongue-tingling flavors in perfectly pocket-sized bottles. It includes hot sauces with varying levels of heat on the Scoville scale, from chipotle and garlic del fuego to jalapeno and smoky bourbon.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCleverfy Shower Steamers\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile they may not be the type to indulge in a bubble bath, that doesn't mean that he can't enjoy the invigorating effects of aromatherapy! These shower steamers are meant to be placed on the tub floor during a hot shower, allowing them to release their scent and the benefits that go along with it. Depending on the scent, they can ease congestion, stress, or muscle soreness, or be energizing or relaxing.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nHidden Games Crime Scene: The Midnight Crown\r\n\r\n\r\nShopping for a true crime lover? This fun game, for between 1 and 6 players, forces you to examine a crime scene and check and re-check alibis to determine who the perpetrator is, offering endless fun for just under $20.\r\n$19.90 at Amazon.com\r\nUNBORED Games: Serious Fun for Everyone\r\n\r\nThis book is ultimately great for all ages, but it's an especially helpful tool for any Gen Z-er you've heard whine about being \"sooo bored!\" It's jam-packed with 70 games that run the gamut from indoor to outdoor, online to offline. It's not Tik Tok, but it is essentially a gold mine of creative, constructive fun that'll test their skills, stretch their imagination, or simply help them get through a rainy weekend stuck at home without WiFi.\r\n$16 at Amazon.com\r\nJack Black Industrial Strength Hand Healer\r\n\r\nWinter is undoubtedly tough on the skin. Dry air, cold winds and forced heat can leave hands cracked, dry, and dying for summer. Fortunately, Jack Black's cruelty-free rescue salve is here to change that. Made with luxurious ingredients like softening macadamia nut oil and the fresh and invigorating scent of eucalyptus essential oil, this rich and restorative salve will help soothe, moisturize, and protect their skin throughout the cold months ahead without leaving their skin feeling greasy.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCompartes Chocolate Bars\r\n\r\nYou might be thinking, \"Seriously, a chocolate bar? Isn’t that a pretty lackluster gift choice?\" Ordinarily, we’d agree; but when it comes to Compartes, you simply cannot go wrong. Between the holiday flavors (think gingerbread dark chocolate) and innovative staples (donuts and coffee in the form of a chocolate bar!), there's a flavor to suit any sweet tooth's tastes.\r\nFrom $9.95 at Compartes.com\r\nViking Revolution Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nViking Revolution has been killing it in the world of men's grooming, and this beard oil is no exception. Made from all-natural, vegan, and cruelty-free ingredients, it'll moisturize your face, promote a healthier beard, and leave behind an intoxicating spiced vanilla fragrance. \r\n$9.88 at Amazon.com\r\nField Notes Notebooks - National Park 3-Pack\r\n\r\nResistant to almost anything (apart from fire), these notebooks are ideal for the adventurer making plans or jotting down notes on the road, around the campfire, or along the hiking trail. Best of all, they're made with waterproof and tearproof paper so they really can stand up to just about any conditions your outdoorsy recipient might find themselves in.\r\n$15 at Huckberry.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Christmas Gift Ideas for Women\r\n\r\nBeatles Guitar Picks\r\n\r\nIf you've got a Beatles-loving musician on your list, consider your hunt for the perfect present complete. This set of 15 high-quality guitar picks features images from a number of the band's legendary albums, including Abbey Road and Rubber Soul, and they all come packaged in a collectible tin that's perfect for gifting.\r\n$13.25 at Amazon.com\r\nDo You Know Me? Game\r\n\r\nIf your giftee loves 'What Do You Meme?' then they're sure to love this game from the same creators. To play, each participant takes a turn in the hot seat with another player reading out question cards. The remaining players are then tasked with the choice of answering 'yes' or 'no' to each statement depending on how much it does or does not describe the player in the hot seat. (For example, one card reads, \"Does _____'s last text contain an Emoji?\" while another asks \"Is ____'s Uber rating over a 4.6?\".) Whoever winds up with the most correct guesses is then crowned the winner.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\n'Humans of New York' by Brandon Stanton\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile it's not a new release by any means, this read still remains a standout in the book world. Based on the Humans of New York blog that started in 2010, this book provides readers with a brief, but intimate sneak peek into the lives of numerous New Yorkers. It's especially poignant now, given how much has happened in the world in the decade-plus since the blog was launched.\r\n$14.45 at Amazon.com\r\n'Star Wars' Han Solo in Carbonite Ice Tray\r\n\r\nGot a big Star Wars fan on your gifting list this holiday season? This silicone ice tray is able to make several simultaneous molds of Han Solo (frozen in carbonite, of course) at the same time, and in two different sizes. And it's not just for ice, either! They can also use it as a chocolate mold or jello mold, too.\r\n$16.77 at Amazon.com\r\nMonopoly Deal\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're shopping for someone with a family, they'll be too grateful for your thoughtful gift to notice or care how little you paid for it. Monopoly Deal is an easy-to-learn, fast-to-play card game that the whole family can enjoy. Monopoly Deal can be played with up to five players, with minimal setup and clean-up time. \r\n$7.99 at Amazon.com \r\nLemome Thick Classic Notebook\r\n\r\nA classy notebook for jotting down grocery lists, reminders, to-do lists and important thoughts is an essential for every student or working person, and this option punches way above its price range, offering six eye-catching color choices, a 180-degree spine swivel, a dedicated pen loop, and high-quality ruled paper that holds ink well. \r\n$15.99 at Amazon.com \r\nOnetop Wallet Case for iPhone\r\n\r\n\r\nThe iPhone is still king of the smartphone world, so you'll probably have plenty of friends who will appreciate this beautiful and practical wallet case, available in 12 distinct color choices. It has slots for three cards, including one ID card, as well as space for loose cash.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com \r\nbodum Cold Brew Coffee Maker\r\n\r\n\r\nEveryone's favorite addiction comes in multiple forms, but lovers of cold brew coffee will appreciate this beautiful and well-made press. It has an oversized, 51-ounce capacity, and two different lids: one with a plunger pass-through and another for storing your coffee overnight in the fridge. \r\n$17.39 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig\r\n\r\n\tStocking Stuffers for Men\r\n\tUnique Christmas Gifts\r\n\tBest Stocking Stuffers for Her", "keywords": ", Best, Christmas, Gifts, Under, 20", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/20-best-christmas-gifts-under-20/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1764000292.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/20-best-christmas-gifts-under-20.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 04:15:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117947", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Optimize Your Dating App Profile", "title_slug": "how-to-optimize-your-dating-app-profile", "title_hash": "c94bd02a37f5383fb5a7361e26e06eb5", "summary": "5 Tips for Improving Your Online Dating Profile Without Being Inauthentic", "content": "Tired of swiping? You’re not alone: 78% of users report dating app burnout, and daters spend about 51 minutes a day on apps, according to a Forbes Health Survey. But before giving up altogether, it’s worth refreshing your profile to make the most of your time. \r\n“If you're endlessly swiping and receiving hardly any matches, it's time to update your profile. A lack of matches indicates that you need better photos or better writing in order to attract matches,” says matchmaker Dara Rahill. \r\nIf you feel turned off about the idea of being strategic or “selling” yourself, know that the right approach can help you get more aligned matches and increase your chances of finding genuine connection. It’s about conveying who you truly are effectively, not pretending to be someone you’re not. \r\nRELATED: Worst Online Dating Profile Mistakes to Make \r\nHere are five steps to optimize your dating profile without feeling inauthentic. \r\n1. Start With Strong Photos \r\n“I wish all men knew that using great photos is key to optimizing their dating profile in 2025,” says professional online dating app profile photographer Christopher Todd. “Competition is fierce and the algorithm can hinder your experience, meaning you won't be seen.” \r\nTodd recommends using five to seven high-quality photos. Don’t know where to start? They should reflect your real life and show both your appearance and lifestyle, says Rahill. “Photos of you traveling, at an event, enjoying a hobby or simply looking relaxed and confident will encourage women to engage in conversations.” \r\nRELATED: 5 Dating App Photos Women Are Sick of Seeing \r\n“Only use current photos of yourself – no selfies (mirror shots, gym selfies, etc.), no group shots,” adds Todd, who also suggests including one full-length photo. Keep in mind that your first photo is the most important one to grab attention in a sea of profiles. Todd suggests picking a shot where you’re smiling and showing your teeth. Stay away from hats, sunglasses and poorly lit or blurry pics. \r\n2. Avoid Common Writing Pitfalls \r\nThere’s limited space to share information about yourself, so it’s important to be intentional about what you include. Here are some tips to write an online dating profile without feeling disingenuous:\r\nKeep your tone positive: Your dating profile isn’t the place to vent about the state of your love life. “Any negativity will be interpreted as emotional immaturity or unavailability. It’s OK to be frustrated with dating and the apps, but don’t express that on your profile,” says Rahill.Avoid dating-profile jargon: According to Rahill, phrases like “sarcasm is my love language” or “work hard, play hard” feel generic and low effort. Use words you would use in real-life conversations instead.Don’t embellish the truth: If you don’t want to feel inauthentic, don’t embellish the truth in an attempt to make your profile look better. There’s no need to pretend you love the outdoors if you don’t, for instance. As Rahill puts it, the real you will attract the right partner.Say what you want – not what you don’t: Some daters fall into the trap of stating what they don’t want on their profile, but it can make you come off as defensive. “Avoid statements like, ‘Don't message me if you just want to hook up.’ Instead, try looking for opportunities to explain who you are and what you want,” says Todd. It signals more confidence and openness.State your intentions clearly: Your matches are typically looking for two things when going through your profile: “They want to learn about you and they want to know if you're genuinely seeking a relationship,” says Rahill. So, state your intentions clearly, whether you want to start a family ASAP or meet someone to travel the world with.Don’t just get an AI to write your profile: Lots of people turn to AI to generate text when they feel uncertain about what to say, but while it may feel like a convenient solution, it’s also making true connection less likely. Not only will obvious AI-style phrasings turn off many people, but incorporating generated text into your dating approach will only make it less personal, even if it does end up sounding more professional.\r\nRELATED: Here’s Why Adding A.I. to Your Dating Life Is a Bad Idea \r\n3. Share Details That Reflect Your Interests and Values \r\nSharing details that reflect your interests and values gives potential matches a glimpse into the deeper, more intricate aspects of your personality and starts good conversations. \r\nFor example, instead of saying, “I like art” and leaving it at that, Todd suggests going with something more specific, such as \"I’m always on the lookout for the next art piece for my collection. My favorite one, which is currently hanging on my wall, is from a local art exhibit.\" \r\nRELATED: Best Dating Apps for Relationships \r\nRahill recommends saving at least one line to give insight into your values: “You can communicate your character without bragging or coming off as phony. For example, instead of saying, ‘I’m intellectually curious,’ you can say ‘If a topic sparks my interest, I’m the person who goes down the rabbit hole to learn more.’\" \r\n4. Fill Out Prompts Thoughtfully \r\nIf you’re using an app with prompts, like Hinge, don’t skip them. It’s an extra opportunity to be thoughtful and showcase who you are. “Use the prompts to share what you love about your life – big or small! This helps matches get to know you and picture what a life could look like with you,” says Rahill. \r\n“Avoid a low-effort profile. Pretending that you don’t care is an instant turn-off. So many profiles say ‘I’m terrible at this’ or ‘If you want to know, just ask.’ Put in the effort to show that you’re there for a reason.” \r\n5. Get a Second Opinion \r\nWhy not ask the people who know you best whether your profile reflects your personality and vibe? “Your friends know you best, they will be able to point out positive attributes you might not think of. They can offer advice on which photo looks best or outfit advice. You will have a leg up on the competition, since most people don't ask for profile reviews,” says Todd. \r\nRELATED: Here's How to Conduct a Dating Audit\r\nIt’s impossible to fully encapsulate the complexity of a person on a dating profile. And people do form judgments quickly online. But by embracing the advice above, you can feel confident that your dating profile reflects your genuine self while making a good virtual impression. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nBehaviors That Will Get You Banned From Dating AppsMyths About Women & What They WantWhat to Know About AI-Driven Online Dating Scams", "keywords": "How, Optimize, Your, Dating, App, Profile", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-to-optimize-your-dating-app-profile/askmen-lead-image-2x1-58-1764026184.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-to-optimize-your-dating-app-profile.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 04:15:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117787", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Married Me Only to Run Back Into the Arms of His Ex-Wife", "title_slug": "he-married-me-only-to-run-back-into-the-arms-of-his-ex-wife", "title_hash": "eb810a0cf0b9de2b3c9532895d0589ba", "summary": "When I left my first marriage, I left with trauma stitched into my skin. My husband cheated repeatedly, denied it boldly, and made me feel like I was imagining things. …", "content": "

When I left my first marriage, I left with trauma stitched into my skin. My husband cheated repeatedly, denied it boldly, and made me feel like I was imagining things. Anytime I caught him talking to that woman, he’d say, “It’s all in your mind. Can’t I talk to anyone because I’m married? Stop seeing what isn’t there.”

The day the other woman got pregnant and he could no longer hide it, he said, “I’m sorry. I went too far, but please forgive me.” It was too late to forgive what I’d always complained about. So I picked up myself, my five-year-old daughter, and the little dignity I had left, and walked out.

It took months to stop waking up with pain in my chest. Divorce wasn’t something I wanted—it was something I needed to survive. I went through with it, even when everyone told me to give him one more chance.

Two years later, when I met Akurugu, it felt like healing had finally taken human form. He was gentle, attentive, and wounded like me. He was a divorcee, too. He told me his ex-wife had destroyed his pride because she earned more than him—that she mocked him daily, treated him like the “wife” in the marriage, and eventually left him. His story softened me. I understood what pain looked like, what disrespect could do to a man’s soul. I saw him as a man trying to rebuild, just like I was.

We bonded. Two broken hearts finding warmth in each other’s shadows. It felt divine. Destined.

A year later, we married. I brought my daughter into our new home, and he embraced her easily. His children visited often. The house felt full again—full of second chances.

But peace doesn’t last long in my life. I don’t know why. It’s as if God gives me a glimpse of happiness just to remind me not to get too comfortable.

The first red flag was how he talked to his ex-wife. Long phone calls that felt too friendly for people who’d supposedly grown apart. Anytime she called, his whole demeanor changed. His voice softened, he laughed more, he took his time ending the call. When I mentioned it, he said, “You’re seeing what’s not there. Trust me this once. I’m doing all this for the children.”

Those words sounded familiar, but I didn’t push. I didn’t want to be the nagging wife. I didn’t want to repeat the mistakes his ex made—the ones he’d told me about. So I swallowed my discomfort.

Then came the food. He’d visit his kids and return with bowls of okro stew and banku—his favorite. “Why are you bringing food from another home?” I asked. “Don’t I cook in this house?”

He laughed. “Ah, Benedicta, it’s only food. You know I couldn’t reject it when she offered. That would have been disrespectful.”

Only food? Why did “only food” make him so happy? Why did he lick the bowl clean in a way he never did with my meals? Was I overthinking things that didn’t deserve my attention?

But the day everything shattered was when I finally asked, “If you love your ex this much, why did you marry me?”

He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t blink. He went straight for the kill. “Do you think you would find me here if she didn’t divorce me?”

I had known pain before, but this one had teeth. It bit into my bones. That one sentence rewrote our entire marriage. Suddenly, everything made sense. I wasn’t his first choice. I was the woman he settled for because the one he truly wanted no longer wanted him.

His words haunted me every night. They played in my mind at dawn like a broken hymn: “If she didn’t divorce me…”

Out of desperation, I picked up his ex-wife’s number from his phone and called her. I wasn’t rude. I wasn’t confrontational. I was a woman begging for clarity. I said, “Please, be honest with me. Do you want him back? If you do, I will leave quietly. I don’t want to fight for a man whose heart isn’t mine.”

She was shocked. She apologized, said she didn’t mean to overstep, that she was just being friendly for the children.

But before my heart could even process that, Akurugu came home like a storm. “How dare you call the mother of my children?” he yelled. “Who set those boundaries you’re talking about? Where are they? Show me so I can jump over them!”

That day, my voice disappeared. My body became air. And right before my eyes, he called his ex-wife and apologized to *her*. He told her, “I’ll make her call you and apologize.”

“You want *me* to apologize? For what?” I refused. I had taken enough insults in my life.

From that day, he stopped talking to me. We live in the same house like strangers. No greetings. No conversation. Just silence and a coldness that cuts deeper than insults.

We’ve been married for two years, yet I feel more single than I ever did. I lie beside him at night and feel like I’m next to a wall. He uses his children as excuses to spend time with his ex-wife. He praises her cooking, her parenting, her kindness. He compares me to her—sometimes subtly, sometimes loudly.

He left me emotionally long ago. Divorce would just make it official.

Now I lie awake at night wondering if I should pack my things and leave. But fear grips me. In Ghana, a woman who leaves two marriages is automatically labeled a problem. They won’t ask what happened. They won’t ask if I was loved or respected. They’ll say, “Her character isn’t good. That’s why no man can keep her.”

And those words scare me more than loneliness. More than heartbreak. More than divorce.

But I’m slowly realizing one thing: staying in a place where I’m unwanted will break me faster than society’s judgment. I don’t want to keep fighting for space in a man’s heart that’s already occupied. I don’t want to be the woman who stays because she fears the opinions of people who don’t even know her pain.

Maybe leaving will make people talk but staying is making me disappear. And I don’t want to disappear anymore.

If anyone had told me that after surviving the humiliation of my first marriage, I’d walk into a second one only to feel even more invisible, I would have argued with them. I truly believed God was giving me a second chance. I thought I had healed, learned, grown. I thought love had finally remembered me.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

But tonight, as I sit here staring at my wedding ring, all I feel is shame, rejection, and the heavy fear of what society will call me if I dare to walk away again.

The right time will come. And when it does, I won’t look back.

—Benedicta

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": ", Married, Only, Run, Back, Into, the, Arms, His, Ex-Wife", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/355644.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-married-me-only-to-run-back-into-the-arms-of-his-ex-wife/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-25 04:03:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117786", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mother’s Secret Is About to Shame Two Families and I’m the One in the Middle", "title_slug": "my-mothers-secret-is-about-to-shame-two-families-and-im-the-one-in-the-middle", "title_hash": "5671ed4a35f582c113e89a48301dd03a", "summary": "I never grew up with my mother the way most children do. While other kids had their mothers, I was always with other people. Always. Even for the short while …", "content": "

I never grew up with my mother the way most children do. While other kids had their mothers, I was always with other people. Always. Even for the short while I lived with her, she gave me away again at age six, this time to her younger sister. Her excuse was that I would have company there with my cousins. My aunt took me in as one of her own, and her husband, my uncle, God bless him, always did his best to be a father to me. He tried. But it was my mother who paid my school fees and the bills. It seemed that was the arrangement they had.

I never cared about who my father was. It didn’t bother me. When other children talked about their daddies picking them up from school, I felt nothing. Even when I saw, right under my own nose, how my uncle doted on his daughter, how protective he was, how he rushed to her, and the way his smile reached his ears when it was for her, it didn’t affect me. Not until I was a teenager.

That is when the questions started. I wanted to ask my mother, “Where is my father? What is his name? When can I see him? Do you have a picture?” I asked every question I needed to, hoping to cure my curiosity. She just looked at me, quiet, as if I had pressed her mute button. After a while, she stood up, pulled a picture from a drawer, and said, “His name is Ampofo.” She told me he was from Akuapem.

“Okay,” I said. “So what happened? Where is he now? Does he know about me?”

According to her, they were engaged to be married. She fell pregnant, but when she told him, he denied all responsibility. His family backed him up. She said there was some back and forth until her family finally drew a line. They told his family, “We will take her and the child. Do not return to claim responsibility when the child is grown and of benefit.” And that, she said, was how things ended with the man she had been willing to love for a lifetime.

It was hard to understand. How could a man you were engaged to deny a pregnancy? It didn’t make sense, but I didn’t care about who was wrong or right. I just wanted to know him for myself. To be honest, my mother could be aggressive sometimes, and in my head, I even wondered if she was the reason for the breakup.

Life went on. Then, one day, our neighbour’s daughter was having an engagement ceremony. I went to represent our family. While I was there, our neighbour recognised me. A man hugged me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe, and he was crying. He said, “This is the child my brother Ampofo abandoned and denied.” I later learned he was the eldest brother of my supposed father, Ampofo. The neighbour was their cousin, which was why my uncle was there. My father was not.

That was how I started building a relationship with my father’s side of the family. They invited me to spend holidays with them, and I enjoyed it so much. There was lots of food, freedom, and memories. My uncle told his brothers he had found their lost niece, and they welcomed me. Only my father did not.

My uncle took me and my mother to the family house so she could tell her side of the story. He wanted to hear both sides. He was a man set on making his family accept me. My mother went inside to sit with the family elder while I waited outside, so I never heard what was said. My uncle took us there twice.

The family elder summoned my father to tell his side. I don’t know the details, but his position was clear. He said I was not his child and he would not accept responsibility.

Still, I kept in touch with my uncle and his children. I even went to stay with my uncle for a short time. I used that chance to try to get closer to my father, since he lived nearby. I even wrote him a letter.

Then, one day, he called me. He was screaming on the phone, “You’re embarrassing me! I am not your father! Go and look for your own and leave me alone! Don’t call me or send me a message ever again!” I had to pull the phone away from my ear. I looked at the number. It was really him, the same man my mother had pointed out as my father. It was hard. I felt so unloved. By then, it was clear how much I wanted him in my life. I was that desperate.

I went to live with my uncle again after that. I had re-enrolled in a cosmetology school, and whenever we passed my so-called father’s house, he would see me and frown. He would drive past and roll up his window. He even stopped being on good terms with my uncle because of me.

Remember the engagement? Well, when my uncle’s daughter was getting married in the UK, my uncle made me stand in for her at a small engagement ceremony here in Ghana. That is how far he went to make sure his family knew me and accepted me as one of their own.

Now, I no longer live with my aunt. I have moved in with my mother. I stay with her and take care of her while working at a reputable organisation.

A long time ago, she bought a piece of land at Pokuase. I knew about it, but the land developed issues with property taxes and land guards. We still haven’t been able to access it. We had moved on, or so I thought.

Then, about three months ago, my mother started speaking frequently with the landowner, who is also a reverend minister. I thought it was about getting the land back. She would hand me the phone and say, “Say hi to the Rev.” I would say a quick hello. Later, he took my number and started calling me himself. His calls became frequent, and I grew suspicious.

I asked my mother, “Was he your boyfriend before?” She would just laugh and not answer.

One day, I came back from work and he had visited. They had cooked and eaten lunch together. I thought to myself, okay then. He visited again. That time, I came home early and met him. He hugged me so tightly I thought, what is up with this man? But I said nothing.

He said, “Do you remember me? I was the one who christened you at birth.” I said, “Oh, okay.” But my mother said she couldn’t remember, and that I should check my baptismal certificate. He kept insisting, so I said I would.

He began calling me at work, saying, “You have kept too long at work, go home.” He became overbearing, telling me I should do this course and that course and that he would get me a scholarship. I finally told him, “I’m already doing other courses. I’m not interested.” He apologised, but the check-up calls kept coming. Some days I picked up; other days I ignored him.

Then he called and said, “Your mother has to tell you something. Has she told you?” I said no. Last week, he mustered his courage and said, “I am your father. Do you know that? Do you want me to be your father?”

I was stunned. I said, “I have to ask my mum first.” I cut the call and asked her. She said, “It’s possible.”

I said, “Possible what?”

Then she told me they were together, but they couldn’t be together because he was going to a theological institute at the time, and it wasn’t permissible for him to be in a romantic relationship. I asked her, “But why didn’t you say so long ago?” I was shaking as I spoke to her.

The Reverend called again the next morning. He asked me what my mother said. I told him, “She is not sure. When I was young, she told me who my father was, and it’s unfortunately not you.” He started asking questions, wanting to know who he was and where he came from. I said, “Their family has already accepted me. I can’t just take your word for it. We have to do a DNA test.” He agreed and said he would let me know when he was ready. I agreed.

I sat my mother down and gave her my piece of mind: “Mummy, why all this confusion and embarrassment? Look at how my uncle fought for me to be part of their family. Now you’re saying someone else is my dad? How will I face my cousins and the rest of my father’s family? My father never accepted me, but his brothers did. If he insisted from the beginning that he wasn’t responsible, maybe it was true. You will make my uncle a laughing stock, and he will never forgive you.”

She got angry and started ranting. “Why is the Rev saying you are his child when I have not said that? I took care of you all alone! Why didn’t he show up before? He lived so close by and never bought anything for you. Why is he coming now to cause confusion?” She even attacked his tribe, saying, “That’s how all their men are. They don’t take care of their children, then wait till they’re grown to claim them.”

Listening to her rant, it dawned on me that this might be true. She kept attacking him with her words, accusing him of neglect, saying he should have come forward sooner.

Now, I am torn between my mother’s deception and facing my father’s family. I’m afraid to do the DNA test. I’m afraid of the results. I look at my pictures and then at the Reverend’s, and I see it. I have his nose, his eyes, his complexion. I spend my days comparing photos, trying to find the linkage.

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

What sort of shame is this? Why would mothers not be truthful about the paternity of their children for once?

It is true that I have yearned for a father, but not one that comes with confusion and shame. I am in my mid-thirties, and all this is draining me. This man calls and says “my daughter”, and I cringe. If the DNA test confirms it, he says we shall start with a naming ceremony, and he will own up to his mistakes in front of his family and ours. I am only taking things slowly and treading cautiously because of his title, Reverend Minister.

If it is really true, please, someone help me on how to move on and make amends with my other family, the one I’ve known since I was a teen.

—Joan

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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$\"sex$ Sex talk should work well on sexually experienced girls – right? Well, not the basic stuff on positions (they’ve heard & done it all before). But: there is a branch that works GREAT.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Girl, Type, Calibration:, Sexually, Experienced, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/sex-talk-sexually-experienced-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-sexually-experienced-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-24 11:42:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117238", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Reebok Announces the Upcoming Nano X5 Edge", "title_slug": "reebok-announces-the-upcoming-nano-x5-edge", "title_hash": "4ebb248a571b5ae5c7c97dda86ea5402", "summary": "Revealed: The Latest Iteration of Reebok's Award-Winning Training Shoe", "content": "As saturated as the training shoe market has become in recent years, there are a few select shoes that act as benchmarks and trendsetters, putting the rest of the industry on notice every time a new model emerges. Reebok’s award-winning Nano training shoe is one such model — just visit any commercial gym, CrossFit box or college athletic program in the country and you’ll see what we mean. \r\nThe X5 Edge is at the vanguard of Reebok’s New Look of Sport design language, set to appear across their entire range of running and training shoes, and represents a bold break from their previous aesthetic. The aptly-named Edge is noticeably more aggressive than its predecessors, with jagged and swerving lines dominating the forefoot and midfoot and a vertical speed stripe emblazoned on the heel cup. \r\n\r\n“The Nano X5 Edge champions Reebok’s monumental Return to Sport,” said Tal Short, Product Director at Reebok. “We’ve evolved Reebok’s beloved performance footwear franchises to be bolder, edgier and more cutting edge - designed for the athlete seeking innovative performance tech and sport style.”\r\nOn the technology front, the X5 Edge boasts an upgraded FLEXWEAVE Upper to deliver greater durability during dynamic movements, while the DUALRESPONSE midsole gives you the stability and confidence you need to perform quick cuts and sudden stops. Even the shoe collar has been redesigned to enhance the shoe’s locked-in fit and deliver superior comfort, especially during longer workouts.\r\n\r\nThe brand-new Nano X5 Edge will be available for sale starting on December 5th, both on Reebok.com and at select retailers worldwide, but the launch colorways are sure to sell out fast, so if you like the aggressive design, act fast.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThe Benefits of Proper Weight Lifting ShoesBest Gym Shoes for MenStrength Training Accessories That Actually Work", "keywords": "Reebok, Announces, the, Upcoming, Nano, Edge", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/style-fashion/reebok-announces-the-upcoming-nano-x5-edge/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1763740249.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/style-fashion/reebok-announces-the-upcoming-nano-x5-edge.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-24 11:42:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117239", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Choose the Best Condoms", "title_slug": "how-to-choose-the-best-condoms", "title_hash": "2170f7fc8f764a054ee977dafa37ab67", "summary": "From the right material to putting it on and sustaining the mood, we've got all your condom queries covered.", "content": "The most successful form of birth control and STI prevention may be abstinence, but it’s also … not a lot of fun. For those of you who want to have sex without worry, condoms are a great option for ensuring your sexual escapades don’t lead to a pregnancy or to the transmission of an infection. But there’s more to the equation than just knowing that condoms exist; you also have to know how to use them — and just as importantly, you need to have some at your disposal.\r\nBut which condoms, exactly? That can be a bit trickier. For starters, penis size can vary wildly between men, depending on all kinds of factors — length, width, and shape, for instance. As well, different people want different things from their condoms. Are you looking for thin-as-can-be condoms? Or studded? Ribbed, colorful, or flavorful? Something that produces a specific sensation? Maybe you’re allergic to latex and need a different material? Or you and your partner want to try a female condom?\r\nAll these questions and more are important ones to ask yourself when in the market for condoms. Luckily, we’ve put together this handy guide to help you choose the right condom — or condoms — for you. Keep reading to get an idea of what options are out there, which brands we think are the best, and what the different options are like depending on what you’re looking for.\r\nRELATED: What to Do If You Hate Wearing Condoms\r\n\r\nHow to Pick the Right Condom\r\n\r\nNow, the question of picking the right condom raises the question: Is it possible to pick the wrong condom? Unfortunately, the answer is yes. If you or your partner should be using non-latex condoms and you don’t, you might be looking at a painful allergic reaction. Choosing a condom that’s the wrong size could lead to the condom breaking (if it’s too small), or slipping off (if it’s too large), too. A condom that’s too thick could leave you feeling, well, underwhelmed, while a condom with special features you’re not crazy about could leave you feeling overwhelmed.\r\nAt the end of the day, you want a condom that maximizes your enjoyment of the sex you’re having while doing its best to ensure that you’re having the safest sex you can. It’s certainly possible to have a fine experience with just any old condom, but why settle for second-best? With a little bit of research, you can find the right condom for you — and the great sex you’ll have won’t be something you regret.\r\nSo how do you find that condom? Before we get to your options, here are some helpful pointers:\r\nRead Product Reviews\r\nBefore you book a hotel room at a luxury resort for your honeymoon or vacation, what’s the first thing you do? Read reviews of other travelers to ensure you’re getting the best experience for your buck. Why not apply the same logic to condom shopping? As sexpert Coleen Singer says, customer comments can be a powerful tool to decide on how a condom feels and performs. She suggests reading through Amazon before adding anything to your cart -- or ahem, your penis.\r\nTry the Variety Pack\r\nIt’s the spice of life — and, well, the best way to figure out what you like and what doesn’t suit you. Singer says it’s always a smart idea to buy an assortment of options so you can test them and receive feedback from your partner, too. From ribbed and flavored to extra lubrication to thin texture, it can be a fun experience to dive in together and figure out what works best for your sex life.\r\nOnly Opt for High-Quality Products\r\nTo ensure you keep the best physique, you only choose organic ingredients for your meals at home. And when you’re applying facial cream or any slew of beard products, you pick natural solutions to avoid breakouts. With condoms, the same idea applies. “Only use products that can give you full peace of mind before, during, and after the intercourse. That is the primary reason why many users stay with only the big brands. These brands guarantee that their products passed strict quality controls and that they work fully as designed,” Singer explains.\r\nHow do know what you’re using? Certified sex coach and educator Gigi Engle suggests taking a look at the back label and studying up on brands. “Believe it or not, condoms are considered a class 2 medical device by the FDA, and are therefore are more highly regulated than other pleasure products,” she explains. Before you opt into a specific line, decide what you want to use — organic or synthetic products, for example. This is a personal preference, but regardless of what you use, reading up on the effectiveness and FDA-approval of the product is essential. As Engle says, “Some condoms are made with organic materials, which don’t include gross silicone lubes that can contains glycerin, parabens, and other gnarly chemicals.”\r\nThink of Your Partner\r\nEven if you aren’t in a committed, monogamous relationship, it takes two to tango — and to have an exciting, fulfilling sexual experience. This is where communication is important. As Engle says, choosing quality ingredients are better for your partner’s body, which could be sensitive to certain products. And if you’re in doubt? Ask them! This ensures you both are satisfying yourselves to the maximum potential.\r\nFocus on Fit\r\nBottom line though? You need a condom that fits. “When it comes to condoms, it is of utmost importance to choose ones that are safe and comfortable. The most important factor in choosing the right condom is whether it’s the correct size for the penis: too large and it may slip off, and too small and it can become uncomfortable or even break,” Singer notes.\r\nBefore you make a decision and purchase a pack of condoms, you’ll need to think of what purpose you’d like them to fulfill. Here are some of the most common uses:\r\n\r\nCondoms for Everyday Use\r\n\r\nHEX Condoms\r\n\r\nIdeal for a more sensitive and more intimate sexual sensation, the HEX condom by Lelo boasts a 250 interconnected hexagon structure to allow for body warmth to be transmitted between partners for a closer, more comfortable feel. These ultra-thin yet uber-strong condoms are perfectly smooth on the outside and textured on the inside.\r\n$28.90 for 36 at LELO.com\r\nOkamoto Crown Skinless Skin\r\n\r\nIf anybody knows a thing or two about condoms, it has to be those who have sex professionally. According to online testimonies, these super thin yet strong condoms from Japan are the choice prophylactic among adult actors thanks to its world-renowned “bareback” feel.\r\n$12.99 for 50 at Amazon.com\r\nDurex Invisible Ultra Thin Condoms\r\n\r\n\r\nDurex is one of the largest condom manufacturers on this planet and has been enjoyed by millions of sex-havers everyday for over 80 years. On average, these ultra thin rubbers are 20 percent thinner than the standard Durex condom, providing the most authentic sensation from a reputable brand.\r\n$14.50 for 10 at Amazon.com\r\nKimono MicroThin\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nIf reliability is your main concern, the Kimono MicroThin won’t let you down. At the top of most “best condom” lists, the Japanese-made condom exceeds U.S. and international standards for strength, meaning it won't tear when you least expect it. An added benefit: they’re vegan-friendly.\r\n$17.95 for 24 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nCondoms That Feel the Best\r\n\r\nLifestyles SKYN Snug Fit \r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for condoms that win on feel, Lifestyles’ SKYN Snug Fit ones are hard to beat. For starters, they’re made from a sturdy non-latex material, so even those with allergies or sensitivities to latex won’t have an issue. They’re just as sturdy as regular latex condoms, however, while allowing you incredible sensitivity. The standout feature of these condoms is their extra-snug fit (hence the name), which gives you maximum sensation without sacrificing safety.\r\n$8.99 for 12 at Amazon.com\r\nOne Condoms Mixed Pleasures Adventure Pack\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nOne Condoms are made of Sensatex, marketed as a safer, smoother and clearer form of latex, and come in a slew of textured styles and sizes to fit the widest penile demographic. “Legend” is for larger penises. “Zero” features a 25 percent thinner condom for increased sensation. “Tantric Pleasure” features a roomier base and tip for added comfort. Also, One Condoms donate a percentage of each purchase toward efforts to treat and prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS in Africa.\r\n$14.98 for 24 at Walmart.com\r\nTrojan Sensitivity Bareskin Lubricated\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for the sweet spot between a brand name you can trust and a thinness you can feel, the Trojan Bareskins are a good bet. At 40 percent thinner than Trojan's standard condom, the brand boasts that the Bareskin is its thinnest ever. Other than that, it's a pretty standard-issue condom, whether you see that as a positive or negative: It's made from latex, comes lubricated, features a reservoir tip and is rigorously tested so you know it's reliable.\r\n$14.42 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nCondoms to Last Longer\r\n\r\nDurex Performax Intense \r\n\r\n\r\nOne of the first to create a condom using benzocaine, Durex is definitely an industry leader. Their Performax line contains 5 percent of the numbing agent, which is heat-activated to turn from a cream-like substance within the condom into a liquid substance that applies itself easily in action. With Performax Intense, the goal is to prolong the time to male orgasm time while shortening the time until hers with an added ribbed and dotted texture. Intense also has a slight, added scent rather than the standard, odorless option.\r\n$6.77 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\nSkyn Elite Extra Lube Condoms\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nAccording to reviews, if you’re allergic to latex, Skyn manufactures some of the best non-latex condoms currently on the market. All condoms from Skyn are made with a polyisoprene (non-latex) material, so users don't have to worry about getting an allergic reaction in the heat of the moment. Skyn’s extra lube condom contains 40 percent more lube than their other models, which means you shouldn't have to worry about applying anything extra.\r\n$16.99 for 36 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nCondoms Perfect for Your Size\r\n\r\nTrojan Bareskin Magnum\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you are generously endowed, the Magnum Bareskin condom is one of the best products available for the most natural feel. It's the thinnest condom in the line (20 percent thinner, to be exact) and boasts a new contoured shape as well as premium lubricant for added comfort and sensitivity.\r\n$15.97 for 24 at Amazon.com\r\nCaution Wear Iron Grip Condoms\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you have a smaller penis, don't be fooled into thinking you can't still have great sex. That said, getting a condom that fits you just right is essential to getting comfortable and enjoying every minute of intercourse instead of stressing about your condom falling off. The Iron Grip latex condoms from Caution Wear are designed to fit snug due to their parallel shape and smaller width.\r\n$19.98 for 100 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nCondoms to Spice Things Up\r\n\r\nBeyond Seven Studded\r\n\r\nIn addition to being one of the thinnest on the market, Beyond Seven studded condoms provide maximum sensation courtesy of three generous inches of raised studs which make for optimal textural stimulation. Most studded rubbers on the market come nowhere close to three inches, meaning with Beyond Seven’s superior stud lengths, you can bet she’ll feel the difference.\r\n$15.30 for 15 at Amazon.com\r\nGlyde Flavored Condoms\r\n\r\n\r\nMost flavored condoms are more of a distraction than anything else, but here's an option that we've actually come to enjoy. Glyde condoms are ethically made, vegan, fair trade, and feature 100 percent organic fruit flavors. Essentially, it’s more organic than most fruit juices in supermarkets. Available flavors include blueberry, wildberry, vanilla, black licorice, and strawberry. If oral sex with condoms isn’t quite your thing, Glyde also offers non-flavored condoms, including their ultra, maxi, and slim-fit sizes.\r\n$6.99 for pack of 4 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nAll-Natural Condoms\r\n\r\nTrojan NaturaLamb\r\n\r\n\r\nNever heard of natural skin condoms? Not surprising, although they're one of the oldest methods for pregnancy prevention. Traditionally made from a thin layer of sheep secum (part of the intestine), it’s thin, malleable and shares a great likeliness to going bareback. Its porous nature, however, means that it doesn’t protect against STIs, so natural skin condoms are not recommended for non-couples. Here, the Trojan NaturaLamb is a latex-free, luxury condom that’s one of the best on the market, which explains its slightly elevated cost. Some advice? Apply water-based lubricant for optimal comfort.\r\n$29.55 for 10 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nCondoms for Anal Sex\r\n\r\nTrojan Supra BareSkin\r\n\r\n\r\nA friendly option for those with latex allergies, the Trojan Supra condom is America’s thinnest non-latex condom. Made from latex-free, ultra-thin polyurethane, Trojan Supra boasts the rare benefit of hand-in-hand compatibility with oil-based lubricants, which tend to be much longer lasting than water-based, and is actually the recommended lube for anal sex.\r\n$7.99 for 6 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nThe Female Condom\r\n\r\nFC2\r\n\r\n\r\nAlthough equally effective, the female condom could take some getting used to. It's a different feel and applying it means a bit of a role reversal, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. A nice thing about the FC2 is that size is irrelevant and it's made from nitrile, which is three times stronger than latex. It can also be used with all lubes.\r\n$52.99 for 12 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nKey Factors to Consider When Choosing a Condom\r\n\r\n\r\n\t\r\n\tSize: This is probably the most important element to consider when buying a condom. Shoot too big and it will be likely to slip off, yet too small and it will squeeze in an unpleasant way and could break. Thankfully, there are a lot of models made to suit a variety of sizes, from very small to very big. Snugger fit condoms are great for smaller members, while larger ones can find comfort in king size condoms. Note: If you don’t know your size, pull out a ruler and check out our Giant Guide to Penis Size to see how you measure up.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tMaterial: Most people are OK with the typical latex condom, but now there’s a greater variety of options for those with latex allergies, or for those who simply prefer a different feel. Especially if you have a steady partner, discussing and finding the options that suit both of you is important, and a good act of respect and communication. Alternatives include polyurethane condoms, polyisoprene condoms, natural skin, and FC2 condoms.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tThickness & strength: Some condoms are made thinner to provide more sensitivity (i.e. more sensation), but these are also more fragile and more probable to snapping in action. On the other hand, thicker condoms ensure safer sex, even when it gets rough. In general, condom thickness varies between 0.044 and 0.114 mm, with the average being somewhere around 0.07 mm.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tTexture: A lot of condoms out there come in a variety of textures, like studded or ribbed. Although these options could provide some added excitement to your sex life, don’t assume your partner shares the same preference as you — especially since if you’re the one wearing the condom, they’ll be the ones feeling it most.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tFlavor: Sometimes paired with a matching flavored lube, flavored condoms should also be treated with similar reservation as textured condoms. If it helps, compare flavored sex paraphernalia to a perfume or cologne — it’s an intimate addition to the senses that could be off putting for someone who prefers going au natural.\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tClimax control: These are condoms made with a tiny amount of benzocaine, a local anesthetic designed to delay orgasm by slightly numbing the nerve endings on the penis. Usually recommended for those with premature ejaculation anxieties, especially since it’s a discreet and easy-to-use solution that only affects the wearer.\r\n\t\r\n\tThe female condom (FC1 & FC2): Like it sounds, female condoms are like regular condoms, except they’re worn by women. They are just as effective in avoiding pregnancy and in protecting against STIs, fitting inside the vagina like a bag to trap sperm and keep it from entering the baby-making zone (mainly, the uterus). They can also be used for anal sex, and the second generation female condom is made of a latex alternative called nitrile — great for those with latex allergies.\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Best Lubricants for Sex\r\n\tHow to Prevent Yourself From Getting an STI\r\n\tThe Best Sex Toys for Couples", "keywords": "How, Choose, the, Best, Condoms", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/241_love_tip/askmen-lead-image-2x1-3-1763745094.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/241_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-24 11:42:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117236", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskFemme: I Think She's Faking Her Orgasms. What Do I Do?", "title_slug": "askfemme-i-think-shes-faking-her-orgasms-what-do-i-do", "title_hash": "cd3a88dc97bbd925616d4a433f33ebc7", "summary": "I Think My Partner Might Be Faking It in Bed. How Can I Talk to Her About It?", "content": "Welcome to AskFemme, our new sex column that’s all about demystifying female desire. My name is Sophie Saint Thomas, and I’m going to be answering all your sex questions — because for all the men who sleep with women, the best advice for getting better in bed is going to come from a woman. I will do my best to be nice, but one thing I won’t be is dishonest. Women still aren’t having enough orgasms, and men still seem super confused about that, so the point of this column is to help bridge that gap with some genuine openness and clarity about the nitty-gritty of sex.\r\nThe Question:\r\n“Dear AskFemme, \r\nI think she's faking orgasms. How can I tell or talk to her about it?” - Jake, 38, Washington D.C.\r\nThe Answer:\r\nDear Jake, \r\nFirst off, I want you to relax and take a deep breath. Research from 2019 indicates that 58.8 percent of female respondents reported having ever faked an orgasm. And honestly, that figure seems low.\r\nThe common fear is that if your partner is faking orgasms, you must be bad in bed. She will surely leave you, or cheat on you. The 2024 Nicole Kidman movie Babygirl is basically entirely about that premise.\r\nBut the truth of the matter is that, regardless of gender or anatomy, someone faking their orgasms is not a sign that their partner isn’t sexy, or skilled in bed, or even aware of their kinks and fantasies.\r\nBut the truth is, some people, often women or people with vaginas, struggle to cum even with thoughtful, caring and attentive partners. If they feel like they have to cum in order to make a partner happy, faking it can often seem like the easiest route. \r\nFor everyone, but especially for women, sex isn’t just about the physical — things like your oral sex technique, how you move your hips, or use your hands. It’s also mental. The biggest sex organ truly is the brain.\r\nIt’s why in highly aroused situations, such as at a sex party or while watching porn, it’s so much easier to cum. Long-term relationships provide deep love, security, and emotional support, but having sex with the same person every night, no matter how cozy and wonderful, just isn’t the most high-octane experience.\r\nSometimes women ake orgasms because they do like what’s happening, and want you to know that. Someone once told me that she thought faking orgasms even made it easier to actually have one, as it took the pressure off. As a woman, it can be hard to cum if your partner is obviously waiting for it, even if they mean well.\r\nRELATED: Why You Need to Care Less About the Female Orgasm \r\nSo how to talk to her about it? I would advise against sitting down and sternly, and likely insecurely, blabbering: “Are you faking it?” The majority of people in this situation would get scared, defensive, and might double down by lying to you. \r\nIf you don’t have a lot of experience with it, talking about sex can be awkward, so it’s typically best to approach it from a positive mindset. Rather, say something like, “Are there any fantasies you’d like to explore?” or “What’s something exciting you’d like to try in bed?”\r\nOnce you start having sex that really, truly turns her on, she won’t need to fake it.\r\nI also highly suggest watching porn together. It offers a way for her to show you, visually, what turns her on, and as an added bonus, she will be so turned on from watching porn that she won’t need to fake it. I’m not saying you need to do this every time, but it can help to get the ball rolling.\r\nLet’s say, like Nicole Kidman's Babygirl character, she yearns to be submissive and is harboring secret BDSM fantasies. You figure that out, and add spanking, degradation, and dirty talk, and she starts cumming more easily.\r\nHowever, realistically, in long-term relationships, a full kink scene is unrealistic every time you have sex. For nights when you just want cozy under-the-covers missionary sex, just add a vibrator.\r\nRELATED: How to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship\r\nAgain, I would not frame this as “I know you’re faking it, so let’s use a vibrator,” but frame it as, “I care about you, your pleasure is important to me, I know it can be harder for people with your anatomy to orgasm than mine, so here’s a little vibrator to make it easier.” There’s no shame in this.\r\nThat 2019 study I mentioned earlier has a happy ending. Just because a woman has faked orgasms, doesn’t mean she will for life. 67.3 percent of those who had ever faked orgasm no longer did!\r\nThat means that if you’re able to find out what really turns her on, and add a vibrator for the nights when you’re both feeling lazy, this likely won’t be an ongoing issue. Which is a win for you, but most importantly, a win for her.\r\nThe fact that you’re asking this shows you care about her pleasure, which is why I know you’ll be able to talk to her. Just keep it positive and solution-based, rather than calling her out, and you’ll solve this.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Buy Her a Sex ToyHow to Make a Woman OrgasmFake vs. Real Orgasms", "keywords": "AskFemme:, Think, Shes, Faking, Her, Orgasms., What, Do", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/askfemme-i-think-shes-faking-her-orgasms-what-do-i-do/askmen-lead-image-template-2x1-1763760836.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/askfemme-i-think-shes-faking-her-orgasms-what-do-i-do.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-24 11:42:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117237", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Gay Threesomes: Best Positions & What to Know Beforehand", "title_slug": "gay-threesomes-best-positions-what-to-know-beforehand", "title_hash": "79aeff0339ff2efb8534d46898ec319c", "summary": "All-Male Threesomes Can Be Seriously Awesome, But Read This Before You Try One", "content": "The expression “two’s company, three’s a crowd,” may be applicable in most social situations, especially for the introverted, but it holds no bearing in the bedroom. \r\nAs couples challenge tradition and test the boundaries of monogamy, many look towards threesomes as a way to spice up their relationship or expand one’s sexual repertoire, if single. \r\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Threesomes\r\nThis option is particularly common among gay men, especially open couples who enjoy a bit of erotic adventure. \r\nAside from the thrill of incorporating a third participant into the mix, “you get to do things sexually that are physically impossible when having partnered sex,” says Zachary Zane, Grindr's sex and relationship expert. “Additionally, for bi people, like myself, threesomes can be particularly affirming.” \r\nInterested in making this iconic sexual fantasy into a reality? We chatted with Zane, as well as Ken Howard, founder and director of Gay Therapy LA, and Jonzu Jones, adult content creator, artist, and model about what to know about gay threesomes. \r\n\r\nWhy Do People Seek Out Threesomes?\r\n\r\nThere is no one-size-fits-all (literally) reason when it comes to couples and individuals desiring to partake in a steamy threesome, and people of all sexual orientations can find the idea hot, though Howard certainly has his thoughts about why gay guys today are going for them:\r\n“I think sometimes married gay male couples might indulge in threesomes as a way to ‘balance’ being heteronormative as married people with keeping their ‘edge’ as gay men and thinking out of the box,” he explains. “Things like the COVID pandemic and the political polarization of America and maybe even a certain nihilism (such as we had during the Cold War) may have created a certain fatalism that ‘life is short’ and we should do all we can to squeeze the juice out of it while we can.” \r\n“This might include ‘adventures’ like having a threesome, especially on gay male vacations where the couples I've worked with have often had their first, “ he adds. “It’s a safe distance from their normal life at home and there is less chance that they would run into their third trick locally, which might feel awkward.” \r\nOn the flip side, Howard also brings attention to the fact that there has been an increase in polyamory where three men commit to each other romantically for the long haul. \r\nWithout the trappings of straight cis life to worry about, queer people have long been open to non-monogamous relationships, so having sex with more than just one person at a time may fall into that exploratory and expansive mode. \r\n\r\n What to Keep in Mind Before Having a Threesome\r\n\r\nWhile the dynamics of every relationship are different, here are a few tips to keep in mind before couples decide to engage in a threesome. \r\n1. Establish Boundaries\r\n“I would say boundary check first and foremost. Both should definitely express desires but also what they might like or dislike and also openly express this all with the third,” advises Jones. \r\nHoward echoes this sentiment, adding that it’s also essential to consider factors like safer sex practices, allowing the third to stay the night and sleep over, as well as the incorporation of mind-altering substances. While a cocktail or two can lighten the mood, it can also blur the line between fantasy and reality. \r\n2. Stay in Tune With Your Emotions\r\n“Emotions, particularly jealousy, may arise when you have a threesome,” warns Zane. “People often think they're going to be the star of the show, that the other two folks' focus and energy will all be directed at them.” \r\nIn reality, it’s important to keep in mind that there will be moments where you may feel left out. \r\nRELATED: How to Have a Threesome in a Relationship \r\n“It doesn't mean you need to pout or freak out,” Zane stresses. “Give the other two people a chance to connect for a moment, and then jump back into the threesome. But don't have a threesome if you only find yourself attracted to one person in the couple. You should be attracted to both people.”\r\n3. Don’t Shy Away From Being Vocal\r\n“Additionally, don't be greedy!” says Zane. “I know this may sound obvious, but in the heat of the moment, we’re not thinking the most logically. Sharing is caring. If you’re fucking someone for five minutes straight in missionary, take a goddamn break to let your partner join. Say, ‘I need a break; can you swap in with me?’ Or better yet, you can say, ‘come here! I want to switch to a position with you in it.’”\r\nJones agrees, stressing the importance of everyone mutually enjoying the experience. “It’s OK to break the fourth wall during play and do check-ins, ask for more or less, even laugh to break tension,” he proposes. \r\n4. Have an Out\r\nPerhaps most crucial is the option to tap out. Threesomes are a very common sex fantasy, but in practice, they can be complicated, and they're not for everyone. \r\n“Agree that either partner can end the session with your guest at any time, for any reason,” recommends Howard. “Sometimes things you think would be ‘hot’ to see your partner do with someone else don’t feel right in the actual moment. Feelings of jealousy or even emotional or physical safety issues can arise suddenly.”\r\nTo ensure that you can navigate this kind of thing in the moment, Howard suggests pre-planning an exit strategy. \r\n“Agree on a secret hand signal or secret keyword that you can use with your partner that signals, ‘OK, let’s finish this, I’m done, get this guy out of here.’” \r\n\r\nThe Best Gay Threesome Sex Positions\r\n\r\nThe Daisy Chain\r\nAll three of our experts mentioned the daisy chain, where each participant simultaneously gives and receives oral sex, as one of the most sexually gratifying gay threesome positions — and an easy one to start with. \r\nIt’s sort of like a 69 but for three people, best done on your sides while lying down, so you’ll want a fairly large bed to pull it off. Position yourselves in a sort of circle, with each participant’s head near another person’s genitals, then get to work! \r\nRELATED: The Best Gay Sex Positions, Illustrated \r\nThe Train\r\nIf you’ve got a top, a bottom and a vers all participating, the train might be right for you. \r\n“I also love where I'm in the middle, penetrating a man and being penetrated at the same time. It feels incredible and simply something you cannot do with one other person,” Zane says, with Jones on the same page. \r\nYou can do this in a standing position, though lying down and spooning may be easier if your heights don’t all align. \r\nThe Cowboy Plus One\r\nSome threesome positions are just adaptations of two-person options, like this variation of the Cowgirl or Cowboy, “where the ‘rider’ is also sucking the third person's dick (who's usually standing on the bed),” says Zane. \r\nThe Spit-Roast\r\nAnother classic threesome position is one where two people are simultaneously penetrating the third — one from each end. This one, also known as an Eiffel Tower, features one person “in the middle getting penetrated, and also sucking the dick of the person in front of them.” \r\nFor additional ideas and inspiration, Grindr has created a comprehensive list of 11 threesome positions for “triumphant trios.” \r\nThreesomes are certainly not for everyone and every couple, but with a little preparation and open communication, they can be a new and exciting addition to any relationship. After all, as the famed Mae West quote goes: \"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nPossible Negative Consequences of a Threesome How Do I Tell My GF I Want to Explore Sex With Men After Our Threesome?Will Having a Threesome With a Friend Ruin Our Friendship?", "keywords": "Gay, Threesomes:, Best, Positions, What, Know, Beforehand", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-positions/gay-threesomes-best-positions-what-to-know-beforehand/askmen-lead-image-template-2x1-1-1763761131.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-positions/gay-threesomes-best-positions-what-to-know-beforehand.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-24 11:42:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "117056", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband’s Friend Acts Like The Second Wife In Our Home", "title_slug": "my-husbands-friend-acts-like-the-second-wife-in-our-home", "title_hash": "0693f5cb07998821ce1b7ba0c3bb4e59", "summary": "My husband and I have been married for five years, and we have three children. For the first three years of our marriage, I lived with my husband’s mother and …", "content": "

My husband and I have been married for five years, and we have three children. For the first three years of our marriage, I lived with my husband’s mother and his three siblings in a two-bedroom apartment. It wasn’t easy being crammed into such a small space with in-laws, but I survived.

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We are not broke; we can afford our own place and could even rent out my husband’s mother and siblings’ apartment. But for three years, my husband refused to move. It took a lot — raining fire and brimstone after my second child, even threatening him with lawyers — before he finally moved his family out. We then maintained the former apartment for ourselves.

One thing I am grateful for is that I never quarreled with my in-laws. We’re still on very good terms, even after they relocated. Interestingly, his mother also wanted space but couldn’t speak up because she has no income and doesn’t work.

Living with my in-laws meant my family never visited or stayed over, not even for a night. I felt especially ashamed when my mother came and couldn’t stay. I knew my family was disgruntled, but no one ever said anything directly to me.

Even now, my mother rarely visits. When I deliver a baby, my husband always has an excuse for why she shouldn’t come. And when she does show up, I have to ignore my husband and call her over myself.

Meanwhile, his family continues to show up unannounced, even after moving out. His younger brother once stayed for a month without notice, his grandmother for a week, and one of his colleagues for three days.

I have excellent people skills, and everyone who visits always remarks that I’m a good woman. But inside, I’m dying. I don’t want to be just a good woman. I want to own my space and mentally prepare for visitors before they arrive.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

My husband has a particular junior colleague who is notorious for staying over unannounced. He doesn’t bathe, doesn’t help with anything, eats and drinks all the mineral water in the house, is loud and nosy, and spends 3–5 days on our couch, telling my kids to stop playing, turn off the cartoons, and go to bed because he doesn’t want noise.

I have asked my husband several times to tell him to stop coming over, but he seems too timid to act like the man of the house. And the truth is, he too is fed up with this guy. I can confront him myself, but my big question is this: is it my place to tell this person he is no longer welcome in my home?

—Miracle

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When I finish telling my story, I know some people will ask why I stayed so long or why I kept trying to make him choose me. All I can say is that unless something happens to you, it’s easy to think you would make all the wise decisions.

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My story began in 2015 when a friend of mine used my picture as her display photo. A gentleman saw it, and took an interest in me. Back then it seemed like a good thing when my friend called and said, “I have this friend called Boss. He wants your number. Should I give it to him?”

I was warm and receptive when he contacted me. We spoke briefly before he proposed love to me. I didn’t turn him down. Shortly into the relationship, he travelled to another African country to play football. We kept trying to make the long-distance work until he started changing.

He left my messages on blue tick, and always missed my calls. I did some investigation and confirmed that he was involved with another woman over there. They were in a committed relationship. I had no other choice but to move on.

Around 2018, he fell sick and returned to Ghana. That was when I stooped low—because when he came back with apologies, I accepted him back.

We resumed our relationship but he continued to be inconsistent with me. Whenever I sensed something was wrong and tried to talk about it, he would say everything was fine. Then turn around and make me out to be the problem. During this period, I visited his home often. His mother was always happy to see me around. Sometimes she would sit me down and chat with me for hours. This gave me the impression that we were building something real.

Last year, my mum passed away. Before her death, Boss had travelled again. It was also around the same time that I experienced a miscarriage. He didn’t even try to visit or check on me. I had to bring it up before he showed up. Even that, I could tell his heart wasn’t with me. He insisted he loved me but I couldn’t see it because I complained too much.

The same year my mother died, one day while I was trying to distract myself from grief, something pushed me to check a friend’s WhatsApp status. There, I saw my boyfriend’s wedding photos. Boss had gotten married to someone else in the country he travelled to.

I had spent ten years of my life with this man. Did it all mean nothing? I was shattered but I didn’t confront him with anger. I just peacefully sent him a message: “Congratulations on your marriage. God be with you.”

He responded with a long message, not to apologise, but to justify his actions. I didn’t respond.

As if that wasn’t enough, one of his friends abroad told me that if Boss had been smart about his moves, he would have kept me as his woman in Ghana so that whenever he was away from his wife, I would still be there for him. That was the height of disrespect I was accorded.

Even his mother turned against me. The same woman I used to visit told me bluntly that she didn’t know me and that her son already had a child with the woman he married.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

This is what life put me through from 2023 to 2024 and even this year. They say the woman he married has money. I am an unemployed nurse so I can understand why he chose her over me. My biggest fear now is whether I will be able to give birth. I’m 35, turning 36 soon.

I shed tears as I write this but I have decided to trust God to restore my lost years. I hold no resentment against anyone. I have forgiven myself for everything I allowed. I have forgiven Boss too for his deception and betrayal.

—Enam

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I’ve never been the type to demand things from a man. I wasn’t raised that way. If you love me, show it. If you want to give me something, let it come from your heart not because I asked for it. So naturally, since Tony came into my life, I haven’t asked him for anything. Not food, not airtime, not mobile money. Nothing.

He’s present. Supportive. Caring. He calls every morning, checks up if I cough twice, and is always encouraging me. But the problem lies in what he says.

Whenever he compliments me, it comes out like: “You’re the best woman I’ve ever dated. You don’t ask for anything. My ex almost finished my bank account.” Or something along the lines of, “If I hadn’t met you, I’d be poor by now. These days, what woman isn’t materialistic? Except you.”

Every time he says things like that, my heart takes a little offense. Is that really a compliment? Or is it just a thank you for being the cheapest girlfriend on the market?

And the truth is, he doesn’t give willingly, either. No surprise gifts, no chocolates, no “I saw this and thought of you.” Nothing. He gives emotionally, yes but materially, he holds back as if the money itself has threatened him.

And that’s where my fear begins.

What if Tony is with me not because he loves me, but because I’m low maintenance?
\nWhat if one day he gets money and suddenly remembers that women who ask for things are also human beings?
\nWhat if it’s simply in his character not to give at all?

Are my feelings valid?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m overthinking, but feelings don’t lie. Every time he repeats, “You don’t ask for anything,” something inside me whispers, “Yes, and that’s exactly why he chose you.” Part of me wants to shake him and say, “Tony, you can give small. Nobody will arrest you.”

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know this: love shouldn’t feel like a discount. And I don’t like feeling like a buy-one-get-one-free promotion.

So I’m asking the house—am I wrong for feeling the way I feel?

—Mabel

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******

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I grew up in a middle-class family. We weren’t rich, but we were never poor either. The one thing we were sure of was at least two meals a day. I am the fourth of five children. My three elder siblings had the same father, but me and the lastborn had another father. Even so, we all lived with our mother in a single room somewhere in Accra. It was difficult, all six of us cramped in one room, but we survived.

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Then one morning, we woke up and life took our mother from us. It was the hardest turning point for us. She was the breadwinner, the one holding us steady. When she was gone, our grandmother took over the wheel. She came to play the role of our mother, but she too played it difficult. Life with her was hard. She didn’t make it any better for us like we had expected, so I ran away.

I ran away to my father. I thought it was going to be peaceful, better than staying with Grandma. That man was strict and straight as a ruler—a no-nonsense man. You do wrong, you go and collect. But he took responsibility for me. He catered for my school, he fed me and clothed me. He did so much that I almost forgot my mother and my elder siblings.

Then I got into the university. I felt like I had arrived. I was determined, by all means, to run away from poverty. I knew the family I was from was messed up, so I was going to choose how my future would be. I started looking around for a girl to date. You know those beautiful love stories that begin in the tertiary? I wanted the same thing. I wanted that kind of love.

And I met Dzidor. Oh, you should taste her meals—like heaven on earth. More than that, she was a good lover. She loved love, and she gave it to me. One day, I was introduced to Emma, Dzidor’s friend. And I hated him. I knew I had to be on guard before something took my woman, but apparently, they had a working relationship, so I couldn’t do more than that.

As it turns out, Emma had created a dating profile for her online. She would chat with different men in Dzidor’s name, book a meeting, and give the details to my girlfriend, who would go to meet them. She claimed she met the men in open places, they gave her money after meeting her, and she sometimes split it with Emma. I was shook to the core. Is that not fraud? My girlfriend was a scammer? Anyway, I told her to stop it, to put an end to it. She agreed. She said that for the love she has for me, she wouldn’t do it again.

But Dzidor lied to me. Dzidor was one of those girls who didn’t like to go home during vacations; she stayed on campus, and at times, I was the one paying for the hostel. One week, Dzidor said she was going for a party on Wednesday. On Thursday morning, I wanted to see her. I asked her about her whereabouts, about the party, if she had fun. Unbeknownst to her, I had installed a tracker on her phone, so I knew where she went. When she started lying to me, I knew it. I simply asked her to open her handbag. And guess what? An extra pair of panties, an extra bra, and a nightie. Who goes to a party with those?

Then I met Adzo. When I met her, I was the only one responsible for my fees and hostel, so I didn’t have much to give her. But Adzo lit up rooms when she walked in, and she was self-aware of that. Everyone from my department wanted to be with her, even the lecturers, especially the big, big men. So I was glad when Adzo chose me. We were good, had a good thing going on, until I started noticing a pattern of lies. Adzo didn’t know I had the ability to spot lies. If I thought Dzidor was a skillful liar, Adzo made her look like an angel. It was always a source of constant fights between us.

When I finished with my second degree, life became tough. I was home, a card-carrying member of the Unemployed Association of Ghana. I was laying around, and each passing day, failure got the worst of me. I saw the disappointment in my father’s eyes. It showed in the way he spoke and behaved towards me. I was determined not to just sit at home, so I started driving Uber. The car belonged to my brother-in-law, but it was bad. It consumed a lot of fuel, and at the end of the day, I got nothing.

While I was slaving away trying to make ends meet, Adzo, who was also unemployed and at her house, would make video calls and show intimate parts of her body to one of the men she had told me not to worry about because he was ‘just a friend’. Don’t ask me how I know this. Past experiences had turned me into an FBI agent. I could be in my house but know everything she was doing in hers. I broke up with her several times, but she just wouldn’t leave. One day she even told me, “If you dare leave me, I’ll take you to Nogokpo.” When I heard it, my heart was beating so fast. I was scared, so I took it to the Lord in prayer. I went down on my knees and asked God to take this burden away from me. And He did.

You would think after being shown pepper by these two women, I would move away from that side of town. But nooooo. Women from that side are very pleasing to the eyes. They are good cooks and really know how to love when they do love you. They know how to pamper a man and make him feel loved. So when I met Elorm, I didn’t hesitate to let her know how I felt. She agreed, and we started dating. Along the line, she told me she had never been with a man before. She was young and naïve, so full of laughter and joy. I saw it as an opportunity to groom and nurture her into a woman I would be proud to call my wife. I didn’t touch her.

By then, I had started working, but it was a temporary contract that required me to travel around the country. I supported Elorm in every way I could—financially, emotionally, even with her studies. One day, after dating for over a year, Elorm visited and said she felt ready to be intimate. I asked her if she was sure, and she said she was. Indeed, she hadn’t been touched by any man before. I was proud. I knew I would one day make her mine. It became a thing we did often, but I felt guilty every time because we are both Christians. My conscience kept eating at me, so I told Elorm we needed to stop. She said she couldn’t and wouldn’t. We went back and forth until she reluctantly agreed.

Then I started noticing changes in her, and my FBI skills kicked in. I found out she was arranging to meet a guy who had shown interest in her at a movie house. My own Elorm? The one I was nurturing to be mine someday? Meeting another guy? I was devastated. We ended things amicably.

Around that same time, my contract ended, and I was back with the unemployed association. I attended a workshop one day after staying home for years without a stable job. After the workshop, I befriended one of the resource persons, a man called Dr. Afriyie. I befriended him because he had studied the same course I took for my second degree, and I felt he could help me land a job with his connections.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

One day, I joined him for a birthday party. While sitting in his car, he turned to me and said, ‘Kweku, take your Christian life seriously. It is only God who can open doors of opportunities for you.’ That day, I wept a little. And then I decided to take his advice.

The Bible says, *‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.’*

When I did, my life turned around miraculously. I never even imagined I would find a woman I would settle down with, but I did. I found Adwoa, a virgin at the age of thirty-two, and we got married. We are now settled in the United States, and our love story is still being written.

So I’m giving you the same advice I got from Dr. Afriyie… ‘Kweku, if you are a Christian, take your Christian life seriously. It is only God who can open doors of opportunities for you.’

—A. Kweku

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Grief is strange. It doesn’t always come from death. Sometimes it comes from abandonment, from betrayal, from the slow, painful tearing apart of a life you built with someone you thought would stay forever.

When I fell in love with Diana years ago, we dated for two years before marrying. We were the happiest couple on earth. Nothing could come between us except laughter, joy, and what felt like pure love. Our first child came just a year after marriage, so soon that people thought we’d been pregnant before the wedding. The second came a year later. Just when we thought we were God’s favorites, I had an accident that took everything away, including my leg.

Five years ago, when I lost my leg, I thought the world had ended. From that hospital bed, everything looked different. I was no longer the strong man who could run, work long hours, and provide for his family without flinching. I felt like a burden. The only reason I didn’t collapse into full despair was Diana. My wife.

She bathed me when I couldn’t stand. She fed me when my hands shook too much to hold a spoon. She lifted my body, wiped my tears, and told me every day, “You’re still my husband. Disability doesn’t make you less.”

She worked twice as hard to keep this family running. She paid the children’s school fees and our rent so we wouldn’t be homeless. She handled chores, picked up side jobs, and smiled through exhaustion. She acted as if the vows—for better or worse, in sickness and in health—were written for her alone. I admired her. I loved her more for it. I told myself that if God gave me a second chance, I’d spend every day making her happy.

So, imagine the pain when the woman you credit with saving your life becomes the one to break it apart.

It started with the late nights. Diana would come home tired, sometimes glowing in a way that didn’t look like exhaustion. Then came the lifts home. A strange car dropping her off late every evening. When I asked, she’d say, “It’s just a Good Samaritan.” But how many Good Samaritans drive the same car? How many drop a married woman home almost every night?

Suspicion ate at me until the night her phone rang. She was sleeping beside me, breathing softly, her back turned. I picked up. A man’s voice said, “Hello, babe.”

My heart stopped. I asked quietly, “Why are you calling my wife ‘babe’?” He hung up immediately. That was the night I went through her phone. Every disabled man knows the internal battle you dread confirming what your heart already suspects. I opened her messages, and the truth slapped me until I felt my heart leaking from my chest.

They had met that evening. She had kissed him. She told him she wished she could stay longer. My wife. The woman who held my crutches. The woman who wiped me when my hands were too weak to reach. She had been coming home late because she was with another man. A married man, for that matter.

My shoulders shook as I woke Diana. When she saw my swollen eyes and her phone in my hand, she knew. She didn’t deny it. She said she was sorry. She said she’d made a mistake. That loneliness and stress had clouded her judgment. She begged me not to leave her. And like a man who still believed love was enough, I forgave her.

We rebuilt from scratch. We never raised our voices. We never disrespected each other in front of the kids. We buried the cheating like a corpse and hoped it would decompose quietly. I believed we were healing. I believed we were moving forward.

Until one afternoon, Diana said, “It’s not working for me. I’m too tired. I need a rest.” I asked, “Rest from what?” She answered, “From this marriage. I don’t remember the last time I was happy.”

My crutch almost slipped. “Why? When did you become unhappy?” I asked. She said, “You won’t understand, even if I explain for days.” I thought it was a moment of depression, or a plea for me to try harder. But she was serious. She wanted a divorce, and she wanted it as soon as possible.

I called both families. Nothing changed. I took her to our pastor. For the first time, I mentioned the cheating. Diana flared up like fire touching petrol. When we got home, she snapped: “We agreed no one would ever hear about this. Why did you embarrass me?”

A week later, she packed her clothes, took our children, and left.

Now I am here alone, listening to the sound of my crutch tapping on an empty floor. I brought in a relative to help me move around, but she is not Diana. She is not the woman I built a life with. She is not the mother of my children, whose laughter once filled this house.

Every night, I cry on the inside. Not because I lost her, people leave all the time, but because I don’t understand why. How do you heal with someone, only for them to walk away as if healing was just the warm-up to a final heartbreak?

I am fighting the divorce because my heart is still stuck in the past. But every passing day shows me that Diana is already gone. Not just physically, but emotionally. Spiritually. Permanently.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

I survived losing a leg, but losing her is the worse pain. My leg allowed me to walk, but Diana allowed me to live. And now I am standing here on one leg, with one heart, and neither of them feels enough anymore.

—Afrifa

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*****

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Ah, Thanksgiving: the annual American tradition in which we sanitize the violent colonization used to found our country and travel home to dine with drunk parents, aunts, uncles, and all the other riffraff.

\n\n\n\n

But before Thanksgiving comes another sacred tradition: Blackout Wednesday—when Americans return to their hometown bars to catch up with old friends, mingle with other singles, and maybe even reconnect with a high school flame.

\n\n\n\n

At least, so I’ve heard. I’m not culturally heterosexual enough to have participated in that tradition. And my family left Las Vegas, where I grew up, half a decade ago.

\n\n\n\n

Still, I’m fascinated with the rituals we have around relationships and sex, especially those that predate smartphones and dating apps. It seems like everyone I know in a relationship met their significant other on Tinder or Hinge.

\n\n\n\n

According to Pew Research, 10 percent of partnered adults met on an app, and that number is even higher for younger and queer people. Twenty percent of partnered adults under 30 years old and 24 percent of lesbian, gay, and bisexual partnered adults met their significant other on an app.

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The messy, sexy, IRL ways we meet people, like Blackout Wednesday, are increasingly becoming a thing of the past. And if the classic traditions of going out to dance, being set up by a friend-of-a-friend, or attending a house party are over, what dating traditions have replaced them?

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Love in the chronically-online era

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While a significant portion of young adults and queer adults seem to be finding each other on apps like Tinder and Hinge, it seems like public opinion on the apps might be souring.

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A class-action lawsuit filed in 2024 even alleges that the dating apps produced by Match Group are not designed to help you find love, as advertised. Instead, the complaint claims, apps like Tinder and OKCupid are designed to “erode users’ ability to disengage from the Platforms” so that they will “purchase ever-more expensive subscriptions to unlock unlimited and other ‘special’ features” that merely serve to “forever entrench users in the app.”

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But if the dating apps are on their way out, what is replacing them?

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I asked my friends what they consider to be contemporary dating traditions, and it seems like we still haven’t broken up with our phones.

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Shana—one of my best friends and my 25-year-old Gen Z correspondent—says the only real tradition she can think of is the “group chat review.” Whereas the women on Sex and The City discussed their dating lives over brunch, the two of us share a text thread with two other femmes that we have ironically named Toxic Male Groupchat.

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The group chat review is where we suss out the character of whatever stranger we recently matched with on Hinge. We screenshot profiles and message exchanges, and share them—yes, without the consent of the other person—with our friends to be critiqued, analyzed, and judged for their dating potential.

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I’m definitely guilty of indulging in sharing Tinder profiles with friends. “Is this person cute enough to go on a date with?” I might ask. Or, “is it a red-flag that their passion in life is pogo sticking?”

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And there’s another new contemporary dating tradition: the DM slide.

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When I asked my slutty Millenial and Gen X friends about navigating dating in 2025, they both mentioned that they liked seeing sexy friends-of-friends online and sending a harmless DM.

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Swiping up on someone’s Instagram story to direct-message them can be read as platonic or flirty. It carries a bit of cultural baggage—sliding into someone’s DMs can be associated with creepy, pervy, or unwanted advances by strange men on the internet—but done right, it feels a lot like the internet equivalent of striking up a conversation with someone at a house party.

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And it can really work: The relationship I was in for seven years started with a DM slide on Twitter (RIP)!

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Long live the run club?

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The positive feelings I personally have about forging relationships online contrasts with a broad opinion that the Dating App is kind of dying.

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My friend Avery, 27, one of the aforementioned Toxic Male Groupchat members, suffers from Tinder burnout. After a summer of dating around, she recently got off “the apps” because she found that across all the genders and ages that she dated, there was a disparity between the types of relationships people said they wanted and what they actually wanted.

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Another pal Ben, 55, is taking a break from the apps, too. Ben, like me, considers dating almost a hobby; it’s a fun way to learn more about the world and the people in it. So when he said that even he is feeling a little exhausted by constantly being on the hunt and the dopamine casino of swiping, I felt a bit shocked.

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Perhaps burnout on the apps helps explain why more adults than ever are celibate. Nearly one-quarter of people aged 18 to 29 had no sex in the past year, according to the General Social Survey, a federally-funded national opinion poll.

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That’s double the rate of sexlessness a decade ago.

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But if Tinder is dying, are we building new ways to meet our soulmates?

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The good news is: yes. We haven’t given up on love just yet.

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Where I live, several new spaces and groups have popped up for meeting people in person, both platonically and romantically. Chicago Girls Who Walk and Chicago Gents Who Stroll popped up to bring lonely people in the city together and create real-life friendships.

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And if you’re less interested in a friends-to-lovers connection, you can turn up the heat at a run club, the sweaty, endorphin-laden jogging alternative to the sterility of swiping through Tinder profiles on your phone. While some veterans resented the horny newcomers joining the fray, other run clubs leaned into the vibe, explicitly billing themselves as a place for singles to mingle.

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There are many other fora for meeting people IRL, and not all of them are so curated.

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In the last couple of years, my friends and I have attended the monthly “celebrity lookalike” contests. Beside the fact that at least a dozen people there will look like bizarro versions of Jeremy Allen White, Timothée Chalamet, and other honorees from the “White Boy of the Month” meme, plenty more strangers who don’t look like these men will appear to watch them compete. And they will probably be hot, young, single, and eager to talk to other hot, young singles.

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Seeking: Wild, random, exciting connections

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To me, all of these supposed real-world alternatives to dating apps indicate that we’re not done with the internet; we just need to use it differently.

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The reason why lookalike contests are huge events is the same reason why the octogenarian influencer Olivia Salomone advises young people to participate in Sit-At-A-Bar September and NeverHomeNovember (her own inventions). And the reason is because these ideas resonate with people who spend plenty of time connecting with others on the internet and are eager to connect in the fleshy meatspace.

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Wild, random, exciting connections happen in places where social boundaries between strangers are a bit more porous and these viral memes can attract a big enough pool for you to shoot your shot once or twice with a couple of sexy strangers.

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If dating apps are casinos designed to keep you spinning, advertising these events—these parties, really—where the goal is to meet new people is like shuffling the deck. It’s a bit more random. IRL mingling takes some control away from our tech overlords and gives it back to the people.

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The answer, I think, is not a complete abandonment of the internet and of the apps, but perhaps a recalibration. We need to find the right combination of analog and digital methods of connection—that is, use the internet to bring people together in the meatspace.

\n\n\n\n

The internet is a beautiful tool for connecting people across time and space, and hopefully, for Gen Z, to have much, much more sex—including on Blackout Wednesday.

The post Gen Z Wants To Ditch Tinder. But Can They Find Love IRL? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"25+$

25+ Creative Ways to Manifest Your Dream Adventures in 2025

Have you ever felt that magnetic pull toward far-off destinations but struggled to turn those dreams into reality? You're not alone. Creating travel vision board ideas is one of the most powerful ways to transform wanderlust into actual plane tickets, passport stamps, and unforgettable memories.

A travel vision board is more than just a pretty collage of places you'd like to visit. It's a visual manifestation tool that keeps your travel goals front and center, helping you stay motivated, save intentionally, and make concrete plans. With Pinterest feeds overflowing with dreamy destinations and travel content at an all-time high, vision boards have become the secret weapon for travelers who actually achieve their bucket list goals.

Whether you're planning a solo backpacking adventure across Southeast Asia, a luxury European getaway, or a budget-friendly road trip, the right travel vision board ideas can turn your \"someday\" into \"this year.\"

What Is a Travel Vision Board?

A travel vision board is a curated collection of images, quotes, destinations, and goals that represent your ideal travel experiences. Think of it as a visual roadmap for your adventures, combining inspiration with intention.

Unlike a simple Pinterest board you scroll past and forget, a physical or digital travel vision board lives in your daily space. It serves as a constant reminder of where you want to go, what you want to experience, and why travel matters to you. This visual representation connects directly to goal-setting psychology and manifestation principles, where seeing your goals regularly increases the likelihood of achieving them.

Modern travelers create these boards using cork boards and magazine cutouts, digital platforms like Canva, or even dedicated apps. The format matters less than the practice: regularly visualizing your travel dreams trains your brain to spot opportunities, save money more intentionally, and prioritize experiences that align with your true desires.

Why You Should Create a Travel Vision Board

Clarifies Your Travel Priorities
When you sort through hundreds of potential destinations, you quickly discover what genuinely excites you versus what looks good on Instagram. This clarity helps you invest time and money into trips that truly matter.

Increases Motivation to Save Money
Seeing that Santorini sunset or Bali rice terrace every morning makes skipping the daily latte feel purposeful rather than restrictive. Your vision board becomes your financial cheerleader.

Turns Abstract Dreams Into Concrete Plans
A vague desire to \"travel more\" transforms into specific goals like \"visit three national parks by September\" or \"learn basic Spanish before Mexico.\" Specificity drives action.

Boosts Manifestation and Positive Visualization
Regularly viewing your travel goals activates the reticular activating system in your brain, which filters information to highlight relevant opportunities. You'll naturally notice flight deals, travel articles, and connections that support your vision.

Creates Accountability
When your travel mood board hangs in your bedroom or appears as your phone wallpaper, it's harder to let another year pass without progress. Visual accountability works.

Provides Inspiration During Difficult Times
Travel plans give us something to look forward to during challenging seasons. Your board becomes a source of hope and motivation when life feels heavy.

$\"25+$

25+ Creative Travel Vision Board Ideas

Aesthetic Travel Vision Board Ideas

Sunset and Golden Hour Theme: Curate images featuring warm, glowy sunsets from different destinations—think Santorini, Maldives, and California coast
Boho Wanderer Style: Mix earthy tones, macramé textures, vintage vans, and desert landscapes for a free-spirited aesthetic
Luxury Travel Elegance: Feature five-star resorts, infinity pools, champagne flights, and sophisticated cityscapes in refined color palettes
Coastal Blues Collection: Create a calming board with ocean views, beach scenes, and aqua-toned destinations from the Mediterranean to the Caribbean
Vintage Travel Nostalgia: Use retro airline posters, old passport stamps, antique maps, and sepia-toned destination photos
Floral Paradise Theme: Incorporate destinations known for blooms—Japanese cherry blossoms, Dutch tulip fields, lavender fields in Provence

Minimalist Travel Vision Board Ideas

One Country Deep Dive: Focus your entire board on a single destination you're committed to visiting, exploring different regions and experiences
Twelve Stamps Board: Feature exactly twelve destinations representing one trip per month, keeping it simple and achievable
Black and White Photography: Use monochrome travel images for a clean, sophisticated look that emphasizes shapes and moments over colors
Word-Based Board: Minimize images and focus on powerful travel words and short phrases like \"explore,\" \"wander,\" \"discover,\" \"go\"
Grid Layout with Purpose: Create a perfectly symmetrical 3x3 or 4x4 grid where each square represents a specific travel goal

Digital Travel Vision Board Ideas

Canva Template Customization: Use pre-made Canva templates you can edit monthly, adding new destinations as you complete old ones
Pinterest Secret Board: Create a private, organized Pinterest board with categories for different trip types and refer to it regularly
Phone Wallpaper Rotation: Design monthly rotating phone backgrounds featuring your next travel priority
Google Slides Vision Journal: Build a multi-slide presentation where each slide represents a different trip with details, budget, and timeline
Instagram Story Highlights: Create saved story highlights for different travel themes that you review weekly
Notion Travel Dashboard: Build an interactive Notion page combining vision board images with travel planning checklists and budget trackers

Vision Board Ideas for Solo Travelers

Empowerment Imagery: Feature solo female travelers, independence quotes, and destinations known for safe solo travel experiences
Personal Growth Destinations: Highlight places that offer retreats, workshops, volunteering opportunities, or spiritual experiences
Skill-Building Adventures: Include images of cooking classes in Italy, surf lessons in Portugal, or language immersion in Spain
Connected Solo Travel: Show co-working spaces, hostels with community vibes, and group tour options for solo travelers seeking connection
Challenge-Based Goals: Feature hiking trails, marathon destinations, or adventure activities you'll conquer independently

Travel Vision Board Ideas for Women

Girls Trip Gallery: Dedicate space to group travel goals with your best friends—wine country, beach resorts, city adventures
Solo Female Empowerment: Showcase women traveling independently in empowering, safe destinations
Wellness and Retreat Focus: Include yoga retreats in Bali, spa getaways in Iceland, meditation centers in India
Fashion and Travel Combined: Feature stylish travel outfits, packing capsule wardrobes, and aesthetically pleasing luggage
Mother-Daughter Journeys: Create a board celebrating multi-generational travel with special bonding destinations

Budget Travel Vision Board Ideas

Free Walking Tour Destinations: Feature cities known for excellent free tours—Berlin, Prague, Buenos Aires
House Sitting Adventures: Include images of house sitting opportunities where accommodation is free in exchange for pet care
Road Trip Routes: Map out affordable driving adventures with camping spots and scenic byways
Shoulder Season Savings: Highlight destinations in their off-peak seasons when prices drop but weather remains pleasant
Regional Exploration: Focus on underrated destinations within your home country or neighboring areas requiring minimal flights
Volunteer Travel Opportunities: Showcase WWOOF farms, teach abroad programs, or conservation projects that offset costs

Year-Specific Themes

2025 Travel Vision Board: Include specific dates, upcoming events in destination cities, and realistic quarterly travel goals
Decade Goals (2025-2035): Create a long-term board featuring ambitious trips you'll work toward over ten years
Seasonal Adventures: Divide your board into four sections representing trips for each season—winter skiing, spring flowers, summer beaches, fall foliage
Age Milestone Travel: Plan trips around significant birthdays or life events—30th birthday in Paris, retirement trip to New Zealand

$\"25+$ How to Make a Travel Vision Board (Step-by-Step Guide)

1. Define Your Travel Goals
Before touching scissors or opening Canva, spend time journaling about what you truly want. Ask yourself: What type of traveler am I? Do I crave adventure, relaxation, culture, or nature? What's realistic for my current budget and schedule? Write down 3-5 specific travel goals for the year.

2. Choose Your Board Format
Decide between physical (cork board, poster board, foam core) or digital (Canva, Pinterest, phone wallpaper). Physical boards work beautifully in bedrooms or offices where you'll see them daily. Digital options offer flexibility and easy updating. Consider creating both—a physical main board and a digital version for on-the-go motivation.

3. Collect Images and Materials
Gather travel magazines, print Pinterest images, search Google for high-quality destination photos, or take screenshots from travel blogs. For a travel bucket list board, include maps, currency, famous landmarks, and local food. Don't forget lifestyle images—people experiencing joy, adventure activities, and cultural moments.

4. Add Quotes and Affirmations
Layer in inspiring travel quotes that resonate with your journey. Examples: \"She needed adventure so she booked a flight,\" \"Collect moments not things,\" \"The world is a book and those who don't travel read only one page.\" Add personal affirmations like \"I am worthy of adventure\" or \"I attract amazing travel opportunities.\"

5. Arrange Your Layout
Experiment with placement before permanently attaching anything. Many creators prefer a central focal point (your number one destination) with supporting images radiating outward. Others like organized sections by continent, trip type, or timeline. There's no wrong approach—choose what visually appeals to you and makes sense for your goals.

6. Display Your Board Prominently
Place your physical board somewhere you'll see it every single day—facing your bed, above your desk, or near your coffee maker. For digital boards, set them as phone or computer wallpapers, or create a morning ritual of viewing them. Visibility equals effectiveness.

7. Review and Update Monthly
Schedule a monthly vision board date with yourself. Add new discoveries, remove destinations you've visited or no longer interest you, and adjust timelines. This practice keeps your board alive and relevant rather than becoming stale decoration. Celebrate progress by marking off completed goals.

What to Put on a Travel Vision Board

Your manifestation travel board should include these powerful elements:

Bucket List Destination Photos: High-quality images of your must-visit places showing iconic landmarks and hidden gems
Detailed Maps: World maps, regional maps, or hand-drawn routes showing your planned journey paths
Inspirational Travel Quotes: Words that motivate you to book flights and embrace adventure
Financial Goals: Specific savings numbers, visual representations of your travel fund growth, or investment goals
Packing Inspiration: Images of efficient packing, capsule wardrobe ideas, or your dream luggage
Destination Aesthetics: Colors, textures, and vibes of places you want to experience
Local Experiences: Food you want to taste, festivals to attend, activities to try
Travel Dates: Specific months or seasons when you plan to travel
Accommodation Dreams: Hotels, Airbnbs, hostels, or camping spots that excite you
Transportation Vibes: Train journeys through Europe, road trips on coastal highways, domestic flights, boat adventures
Personal Why Statement: A written reminder of why travel matters to you specifically
Progress Tracker: A visual way to mark off destinations as you visit them

Travel Vision Board Examples for Inspiration

The Digital Nomad Board: This aesthetic travel vision board features co-working spaces in Bali and Lisbon, laptop-friendly cafés in Chiang Mai, inspiring remote work setups with ocean views, and a color palette of productive blues and energizing oranges. It includes Wi-Fi speed ratings, cost of living comparisons, and time zones. This board blends work and wanderlust seamlessly for location-independent professionals.

The European Classics Collection: Focused on timeless destinations, this board showcases the Eiffel Tower at sunrise, Venice canals at golden hour, Barcelona's Gaudí architecture, Swiss Alps hiking trails, and Greek island white buildings. The color scheme emphasizes romantic pastels and Mediterranean blues. It includes train route maps connecting cities and estimated costs for a two-month European adventure.

The Adventure Seeker Board: This wanderlust vision board bursts with adrenaline—skydiving over Swiss Alps, surfing in Bali, hiking Patagonia, diving the Great Barrier Reef, and zip-lining through Costa Rican rainforests. Bold, energetic colors dominate with action shots of real travelers mid-adventure. It includes fitness goals needed to prepare for these activities and gear checklists.

The Cultural Immersion Journey: This travel goal board emphasizes authentic experiences over tourist attractions. It features home-cooked meals with local families, traditional festivals, language learning milestones, artisan workshops, and market scenes. Earthy, warm tones create an inviting aesthetic. Cultural sensitivity reminders and basic phrases in target languages surround the images.

The Budget Backpacker Board: Practical and inspiring, this board highlights affordable destinations like Southeast Asia, Central America, and Eastern Europe. It includes hostel vibes, street food imagery, public transportation, free walking tours, and camping adventures. A prominent savings tracker shows monthly progress toward a $3,000 six-month travel fund. Tips for earning money while traveling appear throughout.

The Luxury Wellness Retreat: Soft, spa-like aesthetics dominate this board with images of Maldives overwater bungalows, Bali yoga shalas, Iceland hot springs, and Japanese onsens. Meditation spaces, healthy cuisine, and peaceful nature scenes create a calming visual experience. Self-care affirmations and mindfulness quotes complement the imagery. This board emphasizes rest and rejuvenation over constant movement.

Tips for Making Your Travel Vision Board Actually Work

Review Your Board During Morning and Evening Routines: Spend two minutes each day visualizing yourself in these destinations. Feel the emotions, imagine the sounds and smells, and connect deeply with the experience. This practice activates manifestation principles more powerfully than passive viewing.

Connect Each Image to Concrete Action Steps: Every destination should have an associated action—research flights, save X amount monthly, apply for necessary visas, or book accommodations. Without action, vision boards remain pretty decorations rather than transformation tools.

Set Specific Financial Goals: Calculate exactly how much your dream trips cost. Break that number into monthly savings targets. Add these figures to your board. When you can see \"Save $250/month for a trip to Greece\" rather than just \"Greece,\" you create accountability.

Share Your Board with Accountability Partners: Send photos to friends who support your travel goals. When people know your plans, you're more likely to follow through. Plus, they might want to join you or connect you with helpful resources.

Celebrate Small Wins Visually: Add stickers, checkmarks, or move images to a \"completed\" section as you make progress. Booked your flight? Mark it. Reached a savings milestone? Celebrate on your board. These visual celebrations maintain momentum.

Update Your Board Quarterly: As life changes, so should your board. Don't feel guilty about removing destinations that no longer excite you or adding spontaneous new dreams. Your board should evolve with you, reflecting your current authentic desires rather than outdated expectations.

Pair Vision with Planning: Keep a travel planning journal or spreadsheet alongside your vision board. The board provides inspiration and motivation, while detailed planning documents handle logistics. Together, they transform dreams into booked trips.

Final Thoughts

Creating travel vision board ideas isn't just about making something pretty to post on Pinterest—though that's a delightful bonus. It's about taking your scattered travel dreams and giving them structure, visibility, and intention. When you transform vague wanderlust into specific visual goals, you activate your brain's natural goal-seeking mechanisms.

Your aesthetic travel vision board becomes a daily reminder that adventure isn't something that happens to other people—it's something you're actively creating for yourself. Whether you're designing a digital travel vision board on your laptop or spreading magazine cutouts across your living room floor, you're taking the crucial first step from dreaming to doing.

So grab your scissors, open Canva, or start that Pinterest board. Your future travel self is waiting, and they're counting on you to start planning today. Where will your travel vision board ideas take you this year?

FAQ Section

What should I put on my travel vision board?
Include destination photos, travel quotes, maps, financial goals, bucket list activities, accommodation inspiration, and specific travel dates. Add personal affirmations and elements that represent your unique travel style, whether that's luxury resorts, backpacking adventures, or cultural immersion experiences.

How do I make a digital travel vision board?
Use free tools like Canva, Pinterest, or Google Slides to create a digital travel vision board. Collect images from travel websites and Pinterest, arrange them in your chosen platform, and save the final design as your phone wallpaper, computer background, or a file you review regularly.

Do travel vision boards really work for manifestation?

Vision boards work by keeping goals visible and top-of-mind, which increases motivation and helps you recognize relevant opportunities. When combined with concrete action steps like saving money and researching destinations, travel vision boards significantly increase the likelihood of achieving your travel goals.

What's the difference between a travel vision board and a bucket list?
A bucket list is typically a written list of destinations or experiences. A travel vision board is a visual representation that includes images, colors, textures, and emotions associated with your travel goals. Vision boards engage your visual senses more powerfully and serve as daily inspiration, while bucket lists function more as planning documents.

How often should I update my travel vision board?
Review your board daily for manifestation benefits, but update it quarterly or whenever your travel goals significantly change. Remove destinations you've visited, add new discoveries, adjust timelines, and refresh images that no longer inspire you to keep your board current and motivating.

Can I create a travel vision board on a budget?
Absolutely! Use free digital tools like Canva or Pinterest, print images from your home printer, or create a phone wallpaper version. For physical boards, use old magazines, free postcards from travel agencies, or printed screenshots. A cork board and pushpins from the dollar store work perfectly for budget-friendly creation.

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Belinda and I dated for a year before marrying. She was calm, quiet, and respectful—the kind of woman who carried grace naturally. She told me she had never been with any man and wanted her first time to be with her husband. She said she didn’t want to “test the waters and later lose the relationship,” so she wanted us to wait until marriage. I respected that. Intimacy wasn’t a top priority for me anyway, so it was easy to agree.

After our wedding, the honeymoon was our first time. It was gentle, sweet, and full of giggles and shy glances. We were like teenagers discovering something new. After that, our intimate life settled into something quiet but healthy—once or twice a week, mostly when I initiated it. Belinda never initiates intimacy. She would wait, respond, and then cuddle afterward. I assumed she was shy because she was inexperienced, and that with time she would grow comfortable enough to initiate it too.

But things didn’t go that way.

At some point, I started noticing mood swings. Belinda would wake up with a frown, slam doors, refuse to talk to me, and sometimes refuse to cook. It was strange because the night before, everything would have been fine. I tried to talk to her, asking calmly, “What’s wrong? Did I do something?” She would reply, “Nothing.” But her anger would hang in the room like heat.

One morning she burst out screaming, “When was the last time you initiated it? Who are you giving it to? Because it’s not me!”

I stood there blinking, shocked. So all this anger was because I hadn’t initiated intimacy for a little over a week? “But Belinda,” I said calmly, “why don’t you also start if you want it that much? Why must it always be me?” That question triggered something in her. She got even angrier, calling me names, throwing accusations in the air. I was stunned. In my confusion and maybe out of desperation to calm the storm, I held her waist gently and carried her inside. We had a very long and good session. Immediately afterward, her whole mood changed. The anger? Gone. Her silence? Gone. It was like sunshine replaced storm clouds instantly.

She was smiling, humming, talking sweetly, behaving like the same calm, loving woman I married. That day something clicked in my mind. Her anger wasn’t random. It was tied to intimacy. So anytime she started acting cold, I would initiate just to restore peace. And it worked. For a while.

But the truth is, I’m human. I get tired. I get stressed. Some days I just want to sleep or relax. On those days, Belinda becomes a different person entirely. When I’m too tired to initiate, she becomes hostile. When I say, “I’m tired,” she says I’m cheating. When I don’t touch her at night, she turns her back dramatically and breathes loudly, making sure I know she’s angry. Sometimes she picks fights so aggressively that my heart starts racing. I walk on eggshells in my own home. A simple “I’m tired” can lead to shouting, name-calling, and sometimes physical aggression.

One dawn, I felt her tugging at something. The next thing I knew, she pulled the sheet under me so hard I fell off the bed and hit the floor. I gasped, “Belinda! Why? Why would you do that?” She said calmly, “I’m going to wash it. What is your problem?”

I was sitting on the floor, confused and my heart pounding. She could have simply said, “Get up, let me remove the sheet.” But she didn’t. She yanked it with force. As if I was an object. As if my body didn’t matter. That moment scared me. For the first time I asked myself, “What else is she capable of?”

Lately, the violence is building. Little pushes. Harsh grips. Sudden slaps on my shoulder when she’s angry. And she always apologizes afterward. Always cries. Always promises to be better. Then two days later, it happens again. Belinda is truly loving when she’s calm. She cooks with care, laughs sweetly, supports me emotionally, even rubs my head when I’m stressed. But when she wants intimacy and I don’t initiate it, a switch flips in her. She becomes angry, hostile, aggressive—as if she’s fighting an invisible battle only she understands.

And the hardest part? She refuses to initiate. No matter what I say, she says, “A woman shouldn’t ask for it. The man should know.” But I’m tired. I feel manipulated, pressured, and emotionally drained. I didn’t sign up for a marriage where intimacy becomes a weapon. Where peace depends on whether I’m in the mood or not. Where my “no” becomes a reason for war.

I’ve tried everything: talking calmly, reassuring her, scheduling intimacy, asking her to initiate, suggesting counseling. But she shuts everything down. “So now you want us to go and tell a stranger about our bedroom matter?” she fired at me one day.

Recently, I’ve started sleeping with one eye open. Not because she will kill me—no, I don’t believe that—but because I don’t know what her anger might lead to. I’m walking on fragile glass. One wrong step and everything shatters. I love her and she knows it, and it amazes me that love isn’t able to fix this. I want her calmness back. I want our marriage to work. But I’m also afraid that one day, one mood swing will go too far.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

How do I calm a woman like Belinda? How do I help her without losing myself? How do I pull her out of this anger mode when she refuses to meet me halfway? How do I restore peace and calm even when I’m not in the mood?

—Kodak

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Wife, Turns, Violent, Whenever, Say, “I’m, Tired”", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/245056.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-wife-turns-violent-whenever-i-say-im-tired/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 09:43:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "116212", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After Abortion, Some People Report Worsening Mental Health. It’s Not About Regret, Experts Say", "title_slug": "after-abortion-some-people-report-worsening-mental-health-its-not-about-regret-experts-say", "title_hash": "50c65e3ed409c712f399b9a403ff22fe", "summary": "The feelings of depression may come from hormonal and physical changes that can follow pregnancy's end, but researchers say more research is needed.\nThe post After Abortion, Some People Report Worsening Mental Health. It’s Not About Regret, Experts Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This article contains discussions about mental health, including suicidal ideation. For confidential post-abortion support, contact Exhale Pro Voice via text at 617-749-2948. If you experience suicidal ideation, contact 988 via phone, text, or online chat.

\n\n\n\n

When Melanie walked out of the abortion clinic in her city, it felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. The 32-year-old, who is using a pseudonym to protect her privacy, had a procedural abortion at ten weeks of gestation after unintentionally getting pregnant with her then-partner.

\n\n\n\n

But a week later, Melanie said, fatigue and listlessness set in. She lost interest in certain life activities, like caring for her beloved cat. They were the familiar symptoms of depression, which Melanie recognized because she’s experienced depressive episodes in the past.

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“This was such an intense phase of depression—all of those coping skills and resources, everything that I do normally went out the window,” Melanie told Rewire News Group.

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Still, she said, she didn’t regret the abortion care.

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Research shows that most people do not have emotional distress after getting an abortion. Yet Reddit message boards are filled with threads written by people with similar experiences as Melanie, who are seeking information about the negative emotions they felt after getting an abortions. Their posts have titles like, “crazy mood swings after abortion?,” “hormones after abortion,” and “is postpartum depression a thing if you got an abortion?”

\n\n\n\n

To better understand the experiences of such patients, Rewire News Group spoke with both patients and mental health experts. Mental health symptom exacerbation after abortion, experts said, has little to do with the decision to end a pregnancy and is more likely linked to social and medical factors, including previous mental health history.

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Assessing for mental health risks

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Researchers who spoke to RNG confirmed that most people do not have emotional distress after an abortion. Still, they said it’s still crucial for providers to evaluate these patients’ mental health.

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Abortion providers should continue to assess for “preexisting mental health concerns that may be related to the pregnancy and abortion decision,” said Lawrence University psychologist Rachel Dyer, who contributed a chapter about post-abortion emotions for a clinical guide called, The Handbook of Abortion Care for Mental Health Professionals.

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Preexisting mental health concerns don’t preclude someone from having an abortion, Dyer emphasized. And because abortion access is already so restricted in many places, experts who spoke to RNG say, adding more barriers to care, like a mandated mental health screening, would do more harm than good.

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But in a perfect world, there would be more research on the abortion for people who have preexisting mental health conditions and stronger networks of emotional support in the medical system.

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Anti-abortion rhetoric can cloud real mental health concerns

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Spreading the false idea that abortions cause mental illness is a common tactic of anti-choice groups.

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Anti-abortion organizations like Care Net and Heartbeat International started to promote this claim in the 1970s, with the rise of conservative Christian anti-choice pregnancy centers that offered psychological counseling for people who had or were considering abortions. Coined “post-abortion syndrome,” these groups have claimed that having an abortion is associated with a trauma response like post-traumatic stress disorder.

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But medical experts confirm that there is not any mental health diagnosis linked to having an abortion.

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The concept of “post-abortion syndrome” has been “widely debunked”, said Dr. Sarah Oreck, a reproductive psychiatrist and co-founder of the Los Angeles-based virtual reproductive mental health clinic Mavida Health. It “falsely suggests that abortion inherently leads to regret or mental illness,” she added.

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Most people do not experience regret or significant mental health changes after an abortion, Oreck said, citing multiple studies. A 2011 article in the New England Journal of Medicine found that 1.5 percent of people who had a first-trimester abortion sought psychiatric care in the year after their abortion.

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This and other research has also found that stressful circumstances surrounding the unwanted pregnancy—economic, interpersonal, or otherwise—could contribute to mental health distress.

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The physiological changes that happen after pregnancy termination may also contribute to symptoms like fatigue, mood swings, and sadness for some people.

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“In early pregnancy, the body undergoes major hormonal shifts … when a pregnancy ends, whether naturally, by medication, or procedure, hormone levels drop suddenly, which can trigger mood instability and depressive symptoms,” said Oreck.

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That’s true “even when the decision feels right,” Oreck added.

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The risk of that could potentially be higher for people with a history of mood disorders, Oreck said, but emphasized that everyone’s experience with abortion is different.

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“Pre-existing vulnerabilities, such as anxiety, trauma, or lack of support, can intensify distress,” Oreck added.

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But sound scientific data on how a history of mental illness could impact post-abortion mental health is limited, according to experts who spoke to RNG. That makes it hard to improve care and identify those most at risk.

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“What we need is better research on supporting people who already have mental health conditions when seeking abortion care, and how to identify those at higher risk during unwanted pregnancy, regardless of outcome,” Oreck said.

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Dyer, the Wisconsin-based psychologist, agrees. She would like to see more “quality research” on the complex relationships between mental health history and emotional experiences following abortion, particularly for patients already accessing psychological care.

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“We need to … account for their whole history and not just assume that … if a person has had abortion and they are depressed or experiencing some other mental health concerns, it must be because of the abortion,” Dyer said.

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Because of limited data, researchers are left to extrapolate on some of abortion’s potential hormonal and emotional effects based on what they know about other reproductive experiences, like spontaneous miscarriage, and postpartum hormones.

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According to Dyer, the dip in estrogen and progesterone that occurs after an abortion or miscarriage may be similar to the hormonal changes that cause postpartum “baby blues,” a short phase after birth where a new parent may experience heightened emotional distress, tearfulness, and sadness for a few weeks after birth.

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For some people, these symptoms, combined with other factors, could progress to a more severe mood disorder akin to postpartum depression. But there’s not enough data to confirm that, Dyer said.

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More commonly, hormonal changes after an abortion could trigger some short-term symptoms similar to mental health conditions associated with the immediate time period of pregnancy ending.

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“Our bodies do not know why we are not pregnant anymore; they merely act accordingly,” Dyer said.

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Abortion stigma affects mental health

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It can be difficult to separate the hormonal changes that come from ending a pregnancy from the social factors that may exacerbate mental health problems, said Danika Severino Wynn, a certified nurse midwife and the vice president of care and access for Planned Parenthood Federation of America. These external stressors include logistical and financial stress, social stigma, and shame around abortion.

\n\n\n\n

The three abortion patients RNG interviewed did have a prior history of mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression, before having an abortion.

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J., who requested only her first initial be used to protect her privacy, had experienced prior mental health difficulties and said her mental health deteriorated after a medication abortion.

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She had gotten pregnant by a then-partner she was not proud to be involved with, and decided to end the pregnancy with a self-managed abortion. J. said she had her abortion alone, without anyone she felt she could turn to for support.

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That experience took a toll on her.

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“When I laid in bed and had my body go through the pill’s bloody aftermath, the depressive mental and physical state truly proved to me that I was on my own in my suffering,” J. said.

\n\n\n\n

But, she said, her mental health was worse than her baseline prior to abortion.

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“Shame, guilt, and depression, anxiety do follow me,” J. said, explaining that she had palpable thoughts of no longer wanting to be alive and of attempting to end her life. “The abortion elevated it and turned it physical.”

\n\n\n\n

Melanie, too, has a history of mental health challenges. She has a diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder—which includes major depression—and has experienced suicidal ideation. And she still undergoes regular mental health treatment.

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Immediately after she had her abortion, Melanie said she felt nothing but relief. But within a week of the procedure, a deep depression set in. In this period, she felt the closest she ever felt to acting on those thoughts of self-harm.

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“I have experience with suicidal ideation and depression—it was so powerful that my suicidal ideation turned to planning,” Melanie said. “[I] was looking to rehome my cat.”

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Yet both Melanie and J. emphasized that they don’t regret their decisions to end their pregnancies; both definitely did not want to be parents. Research has repeatedly found that people who have had abortions overwhelmingly report feeling relieved, both immediately after and in the years that follow.

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There’s also evidence that carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term can be associated with poor mental health outcomes, including depression during the pregnancy, postpartum depression, and even years after birth.

\n\n\n\n

Even with the feeling of relief, social stigma around abortion for some still contributes to significant psychological distress. Synclaire Warren, a writer, speaker, and content creator, grew her social media following her decision to share her abortion story publicly after the overturn of Roe v. Wade in June 2022. Before that, she had barely told anyone.

\n\n\n\n

Warren and a former partner got pregnant completely by surprise: Her intrauterine device didn’t work, and it led to an unplanned pregnancy in the winter of 2021. Warren said she went to the doctor after feeling sick, and found out she was pregnant at the doctor’s office.

\n\n\n\n

In a state of shock, Warren described “rocking back and forth” all night, before coming to the decision to have a medication abortion.

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It was “indescribable how alone and scared and painful it was for me,” Warren told RNG. She recalled “feeling like your body isn’t yours” while going through the process. She said she felt isolated and was paranoid that people would find out. Not telling her loved ones about her decision weighed on her.

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At the same time, Warren said ending the pregnancy was the right choice for her.

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“All the joy I have in my life is because I made that choice: finishing my master’s at Fordham, working freelance, having a partner I live with, and living in New York City,” Warren said.

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J. echoed the sentiment of internalizing societal stigma about abortion.

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“I wish I was stronger to ask my sisters for help, but I was so riddled with shame and guilt that I wanted to do it on my own.”

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Still, J. said she’s grateful abortion was an option in Pennsylvania, where she lived at the time. Because of a combination of life stressors, it took some time for her to finally feel more like herself; after a few years, she saw larger improvements in her mental health.

\n\n\n\n

Abortion bans impede research and care improvements

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Abortion restrictions further complicate attempts to better understand how abortion affects mental health. As of November 2025, 12 U.S. states have total abortion bans.

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“What we know for sure is that denying abortion care can have long-term negative effects on mental and physical health,” Severino Wynn said.

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She pointed to research like The Turnaway Study by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, which found a link between a lack of access to abortion care and the risk of pregnancy complications like eclampsia, anxiety, and staying in abusive relationships as a result of continuing an unwanted pregnancy.

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“Better research should examine how existing psychiatric conditions interact with abortion access and timing, barriers to mental health care for people seeking abortion in restrictive states, and evidence-based screening approaches for those with known mental health histories,” Oreck said.

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If people have a mental health condition history and are considering an abortion, a pre-procedure screening that can connect someone to psychiatric support they may need afterward is appropriate, according to Oreck.

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“We’re supporting them through a stressful time, not because the procedure causes mental illness,” she said.

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But in the current abortion access landscape, it won’t be logistically feasible, nor would it be good practice to mandate universal mental health screening, Oreck added.

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It may be possible for some people with a history of mental health issues who wish to get support to do so at a reproductive health clinic.

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“Many providers, including some Planned Parenthood health centers, offer mental or behavioral health counseling,” Severino Wynn added. “They may also be able to refer you to expert, judgment-free care through platforms like Pro-Choice Therapists.”

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Mental health providers can also do their part to create an open space for discussing abortion experiences in standard clinical encounters.

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“This means validating a range of emotions, addressing fears or uncertainties, and integrating abortion care into routine mental health conversations—just as we do with pregnancy, miscarriage, or postpartum experiences,” Oreck said.

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Other resources that Severino Wynn directs Planned Parenthood clients toward for processing any emotions, including anxiety and depression, after an abortion include the Miscarriage+Abortion Hotline for medical provider-led guidance, Reprocare for anonymous peer-based support during an abortion, The Doula Project for text-based medication abortion help, and Exhale ProVoice, which offers free post-abortion text support and support groups.

\n\n\n\n

‘I’m so glad you told me’

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Anti-choice groups have tried to weaponize the mental health effects of abortion as a reason to justify bans. But that logic, experts say, does not hold up.

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“The bottom line is abortion is a very safe and common form of health care,” Severino Wynn said. “Each person’s experience can be different, and there are resources available for those who need them.”

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That’s one of the reasons why Melanie emphasized sharing abortion experiences and support with her own personal network.

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After her abortion, Melanie spoke with a friend who also decided to have one. Because her friend struggled with her mental health, Melanie felt compelled to warn her and remind her to take extra care of herself after her abortion.

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Melanie checked in with her friend on her experience months later. The first thing her friend said was, “Thank God you told me.”

The post After Abortion, Some People Report Worsening Mental Health. It’s Not About Regret, Experts Say appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "After, Abortion, Some, People, Report, Worsening, Mental, Health., It’s, Not, About, Regret, Experts, Say", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "137", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Post-Abortion-Depression-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/21/abortion-depression-mental-health/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 09:24:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115866", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Becoming ‘Our Kids’: The Journey of Blending Families", "title_slug": "becoming-our-kids-the-journey-of-blending-families", "title_hash": "e8c58ace5d99076fa62fb30f4d96084c", "summary": "Blending a family is one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences a parent can go through. Even with the best intentions, bias can naturally show up. You may avoid […]\nThe post Becoming ‘Our Kids’: The Journey of Blending Families appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Blending a family is one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences a parent can go through. Even with the best intentions, bias can naturally show up. You may avoid […]

The post Becoming ‘Our Kids’: The Journey of Blending Families appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Becoming, ‘Our, Kids’:, The, Journey, Blending, Families", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/GettyImages-1422252330.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/becoming-our-kids-the-journey-of-blending-families/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 09:03:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115781", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Butt Workouts and Glute Exercises for Men", "title_slug": "best-butt-workouts-and-glute-exercises-for-men", "title_hash": "47e04f8000d8f780f605bea6f4485df9", "summary": "In recent years, there's been a marked trend towards butt workouts and glute exercises, no doubt sparked by the popularity of Instagram models. But the infamous peach butt isn't just a status symbol reserved for women. Men, too, can benefit from bigger glutes, not only for the athletic and strength advantages they provide, but because women appreciate a well-sculpted posterior just as much as men do. In addition, bigger, stronger glutes will help correct your posture, protect your spine and even help you run faster and jump higher.\r\nRELATED: Best Leg Workouts for Men\r\nBut don't take it from us. We asked the experts: \"Strengthening your glutes provides numerous functional and aesthetic benefits,\" says Barry's instructor Erick Wilson. \"Your glutes help power your acceleration for running or sprinting, provide stability for your lower body, and create a strong foundation for proper posture. If you’re looking to up your fitness game, your glutes are a great place to start.\"\r\nMatt Sauerhoff", "content": "In recent years, there's been a marked trend towards butt workouts and glute exercises, no doubt sparked by the popularity of Instagram models. But the infamous peach butt isn't just a status symbol reserved for women. Men, too, can benefit from bigger glutes, not only for the athletic and strength advantages they provide, but because women appreciate a well-sculpted posterior just as much as men do. In addition, bigger, stronger glutes will help correct your posture, protect your spine and even help you run faster and jump higher.\r\nRELATED: Best Leg Workouts for Men\r\nBut don't take it from us. We asked the experts: \"Strengthening your glutes provides numerous functional and aesthetic benefits,\" says Barry's instructor Erick Wilson. \"Your glutes help power your acceleration for running or sprinting, provide stability for your lower body, and create a strong foundation for proper posture. If you’re looking to up your fitness game, your glutes are a great place to start.\"\r\nMatt Sauerhoff, founder of The LIV Method, a New York City-based personal training service, adds that the average American's sitting-centric lifestyle makes training the glutes all the more important, since sitting for too long can make hips and glutes tighter and weaker, leading to an increased risk of injury. “If you sit on one of your most valuable resources most of the day, [it leaves you] with what I like to call ‘dead ass,’” he says.\r\nWhen it comes to working your glutes, \"take your time, restore balance and move intelligently,\" he adds. The next time you roll up to the gym for leg day – or even if you’re just looking for a lower-body workout that you can do at home – pull up this list of butt workouts and glute exercises for men.\r\n\r\nBenefits of Strong Glutes\r\n\r\nThe glutes are the largest and strongest muscles in your body and are responsible for the extension, abduction, and external rotation of the hips, as well as posterior pelvic tilt. Bigger, stronger glutes can help improve posture, movement, and athletic performance – while reducing the risk for a wide array of injuries. \r\n\r\n\tImprove posture and movement: Larger glute muscles are one of the main reasons that humans can stand upright. They help us walk, run, sprint, jump, change directions, and much more. They play an \"important role in keeping the whole body functioning strongly throughout most daily activities and keeping us upright and balanced,\" says iFit trainer Zac Marion.\r\n\tDecrease injury risk: Glutes also play a key role in overall health, as strong glutes decrease the risk for injuries in the knees, lower back, hamstrings, groin, and hips. “Strengthening this area will help the hips and take pressure off the knees,” says Daniel Giordano, D.P.T., C.S.C.S., co-founder of Bespoke Treatments. \r\n\r\nSo not only is a nice set of glutes aesthetically pleasing, but it's better for your body. Let’s take a look at the best exercises to improve glute strength, size, and function.\r\n\r\nThe Best Butt Exercises: Squats\r\n\r\nIt should come as no surprise that squats are the first on this list. You’d be hard-pressed to find a better exercise for building a great ass than squatting. The fact that you don't necessarily need equipment or a lot of fitness experience to get started doesn't hurt, too. \"The classic squat is an essential move that strengthens your glutes,\" says Wilson. \r\nRELATED: Should You Do Squats Every Day? And How to Nail the Perfect Form\r\n\"The correct form of keeping your chest up and your abs braced puts your glutes in a great position for driving the hips forward and enabling your glutes to activate properly. Squats are an essential movement for the lower gluteal region. With proper form and activation, squats build the foundation for posture and lower back support.\"\r\nThere are a ton of different squat variations to use to help sculpt the perfect posterior. Let’s take a look at each of them.\r\nBarbell Back Squat\r\nFew exercises allow you to hit the glutes and hamstrings with more volume than the barbell back squat. This is what makes it so effective for building a great ass.\r\n\r\nA few notes on barbell back squats:\r\n\r\n\tA common debate when it comes to squats is whether you should use a high or low bar position. A high bar allows you to squat deeper, which will hit the glutes harder, while a low bar position causes more forward lean, which also lets you hit the glutes and hamstrings more. So bar position is really a matter of personal preference.\r\n\tYour stance also affects how much the glutes and hamstrings are worked. A wider stance (further than shoulder-width) will target them more.\r\n\r\nGoblet Squat\r\nThe goblet squat is done with a dumbbell, kettlebell, or medicine ball held at your chest. While you can’t use real heavy loads with this variation, the goblet squat allows you to get a lot of depth, further targeting the glutes and hamstrings.\r\n\r\nBottoms-Up Squat\r\nThis variation goes by a few different names, including the Anderson Squat. Basically, you’re only doing the second half of a squat.\r\nTo do this variation, set the bar up in a rack on the pins, equal to where it would be at the bottom of your squat. Position yourself under the bar, and explode up. Lower the bar back onto the pins, and reset. No bouncing.\r\nThis variation is great because it eliminates the stretch-shortening cycle between the eccentric and concentric portions of the squat and isolates the glutes and hamstrings.\r\n\r\nSplit Squat\r\nAlso known as the rear-foot elevated split squat, the split squat targets the glutes, as well as the quads. This variation can be done with your bodyweight alone, or you can add in dumbbells, a kettlebell, or a barbell.\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Best Butt Exercises: Deadlifts\r\n\r\nLike the squat, there are a number of deadlift variations that allow you to really hammer the glutes. \"Deadlifts are the ideal movement for strength and power gains specifically for the hips,\" says Marion. \"By eliminating some of the lower body joints involved in a traditional squat, less muscle group compensation takes place and more focus is shifted back into the butt muscles.\"\r\nRELATED: Deadlifting: The One Move Every Guy Should Be Doing\r\nJust remember this isn't a functional movement. \"They require an advanced form that might need to be learned in order to prevent injuries.\"\r\nConventional Deadlift\r\nResearch shows that conventional and sumo deadlifts are both equally effective for training the glutes. The important thing to remember when deadlifting is to really squeeze the glutes hard at the top part of the movement.\r\n\r\nSingle-Leg Deadlift\r\nThere’s no better way to build strength and stability than with unilateral movements. The single-leg RDL will really set the glutes and hammies on fire by providing a ton of isolation.\r\n\r\nDumbbell Romanian Deadlift\r\nThis option is similar to the conventional deadlift above however it has a different range of motion, which will likely involve lighter weights than the conventional. \r\n\r\nKettlebell Swings \r\nSimilar to the deadlift in movement terms, the kettlebell swing is great for hitting the glutes, as well as the entire posterior chain, and teaching the hip hinge.\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Best Butt Exercises: Hip Thrusts\r\n\r\nDespite its somewhat sexual nature, the hip thrust is a fantastic exercise for butt-building, and should not be left out of your training program. \"If I had to choose one butt exercise to perform for the rest of my life, I would choose the hip thrust,\" says Wilson. \r\nRELATED: Lunges Deserve a Spot in Your Workout Routine ASAP\r\n\"They target the larger muscles of the glutes: the gluteus maximus and gluteus medius. Build strength and size to your glutes in ways that many other exercises may not and they can help stabilize your core, pelvis, and complete lower body.\" Just remember to squeeze. \r\nBarbell Hip Thrust\r\nWhile you can do hip thrusts without weight. For extra resistance, you can hold the barbell around your waist area, moving it with you as you thrust. \"Hip thrusts are very dynamic in their range of weight loads so they can target power, strength, or endurance,\" says Marion.\r\n\r\nSingle-Leg Hip Thrust\r\nLike the barbell hip thrust, with a single-leg hip thrust, your shoulders are placed on a bench, with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Extend one leg straight out and thrust your hips into the air, driving your one planted foot into the ground, and squeezing your glutes at the top.\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Best Butt Exercises: Lunges\r\n\r\nWhile lunges are primarily thought of as a quad-dominant exercise, the glutes are heavily involved in helping you return to the standing position. \"I love lunges for so many reasons. They do not isolate the glutes, but they provide ancillary support and proprioceptive qualities that are key to daily functions,\" says Marion.\r\nLunges can be done forward, or in reverse, with bodyweight alone or with kettlebells, a barbell, or dumbbells in the mix. Marion recommends to \"make sure to focus on bodyweight only until you’re able to gain an appreciation for the form and then work weight-load up appropriately.\"\r\nDumbbell Lunge\r\nThe basic version of the lunge targets the quads more than the glutes, but this exercise is still a great addition to any solid glutes workout because it trains single-leg stability.\r\n\r\nReverse Lunge\r\nPerforming reverse lunges will emphasize your glutes, and put your knees in a safer position, so if you have a history of knee injuries or are just dealing with some knee soreness, opt for this glute-building variation. Wilson adds \"reverse lunges are just as effective and less prone to putting tension on the knee when performed correctly.\"\r\n\r\n\r\nBest Activation Exercises to Target the Glutes\r\n\r\n\"Activation exercises aren’t only good, they’re necessary in order to fully engage the glutes and gain the most muscle recruitment possible for each rep,\" says Marion. He adds that these exercises are particularly great for those starting to work out or warming up.\r\n\"Activation exercises and corrective movements that isolate muscles used in the workout are key to engaging the neuro-muscular (brain to body) connection that determines what muscles are engaged the most and how strong they’re able to contract during the workout. This also improves form and reduces injury opportunity.\"\r\nGood Mornings\r\nGood mornings are great as part of a warm-up to really prime the glutes and hammies for work.\r\n\r\nBanded X-Walk\r\nBanded X-walks will help activate your gluteus medius, which has a tendency to go dormant from too much sitting. This can be done with or without a weight in the hands.\r\n\r\nQuadruped Hip Extension\r\nA simple exercise to get your glutes, hamstrings, and spinal erectors firing in the correct pattern.\r\n\r\nQuadruped Fire Hydrant\r\nPicture a dog about to urinate (hence this exercise's name), and you'll get in the right position to open up your hips.\r\n\r\nBird-dogs\r\nThis exercise serves a double purpose, both strengthening your core and activating your glutes and spinal erectors.\r\n\r\nYouTube clips from Functional Bodybuilding\r\n\r\nSample Glute-Building Workout\r\n\r\nPerform the following glutes workout three times per week for four to eight weeks, resting at least one day in between workouts.\r\nGlute Workout A\r\n\r\n\tBarbell Back Squat: 4 sets, 4-6 reps, 120 seconds rest\r\n\tBarbell Hip Thrust: 4 sets, 8 reps, 90 seconds rest\r\n\tBarbell Deadlift: 3 sets, 12 to 15 reps, 45 seconds rest\r\n\tDumbbell Split Squat: 3 sets, 10 to 12 reps per leg, 60 seconds rest\r\n\tKettlebell Swings: 3 sets, 20 reps, 30 seconds rest\r\n\r\nGlute Workout B\r\n\r\n\tBarbell Deadlift: 4 sets, 4 reps, 3 minutes rest\r\n\tGoblet Squat: 3 sets, 12 reps, 45 seconds rest\r\n\tSingle-Leg Dumbbell Deadlift: 3 sets, 8 reps per leg, 60 seconds rest\r\n\tBarbell Hip Thrust: 3 sets, 10 reps, 30 seconds rest\r\n\tBarbell Lunges: 3 sets, 12 reps per leg, 60 seconds rest\r\n\r\nGlute Workout C\r\n\r\n\tBottoms-Up Squat: 3 sets, 6 reps, 90 to 120 seconds rest\r\n\tBarbell Hip Thrust: 4 sets, 12 reps, 60 seconds rest\r\n\tBarbell Split Squat: 4 sets, 8 reps per leg, 60 seconds rest\r\n\tDumbbell Deadlift: 3 sets, 15 reps, 30 seconds rest\r\n\tDumbbell Reverse Lunge: 3 sets, 10 reps per leg, 60 seconds rest\r\n\r\nGlute Workout D\r\n\r\n\tSingle-Leg Hip Thrust: 12 reps per leg\r\n\tQuadruped Fire Hydrants: 8 reps per leg\r\n\tQuadruped Hip Extension: 8 reps per leg\r\n\tBirddogs: 6 reps per side\r\n\tBanded X Walk: 8 reps per side\r\n\tBarbell Good Morning: 12 to 15 slow reps\r\n\r\n\r\nEssential Gear to Build Up Your Glutes\r\n\r\nFit Simplify Resistance Bands\r\n\r\n\r\nBang out the banded butt exercises shown above with a high-quality resistance band that travels better than arguably any other piece of fitness gear. Why not sneak in a few biceps curls while you’re at it? The band will force your muscles to spend more time under tension, engaging your biceps more effectively than a dumbbell.\r\n$9.98 at Amazon.com\r\nCap Barbell Medicine Ball\r\n\r\nThis is your classic medicine ball, made for developing strength and coordination. It is a great tool to have on hand for goblet squats, but can also be used in the place of a kettlebell or dumbbells if you don't have other weights on hand.\r\nFrom $17.99 at Amazon.com\r\nRubber Encased Hex Dumbbell\r\n\r\n\r\nDumbbells are a versatile tool that come into play in a number of the exercises shared above. This set starts at 10 lbs and ends at 50 lbs, so you can find a weight that suits your fitness level.\r\nFrom $21.41 at Amazon.com\r\nKettle Gryp\r\n\r\nWhether you can’t find the specific kettlebell you’re looking for or you only have access to dumbbells, use this attachment to turn any dumbbell (up to 55 pounds) into a fully functional kettlebell. Barely tipping the scales at less than one pound, it won’t weigh you down if you're taking your workout on the road.\r\n$34.95 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Build Bigger Arms in No Time\r\n\tA Step-by-Step Guide to Beating Low Self-Esteem\r\n\tThe Best Protein Powders", "keywords": "Best, Butt, Workouts, and, Glute, Exercises, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/butt-exercises-for-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763730325.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/butt-exercises-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 09:00:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115782", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Problem With 'Date Them Until You Hate Them'", "title_slug": "the-problem-with-date-them-until-you-hate-them", "title_hash": "b74e4ddfa3f1ed0903f6e9f56645549c", "summary": "Surprise, Surprise, TikTok's Latest Dating Advice Is, Well, Bad Advice", "content": "Dating trends come and go — but just because something is trending on TikTok doesn’t mean it's necessarily the best way to approach your own personal relationship or breakups. \r\nCase in point: the concept of ‘date them til you hate them.’ The trend might be catchy, but according to relationship experts, this dismissive approach to dating and breaking up can cause issues far beyond the end of your current relationship.\r\nRELATED: The Best and Worst TikTok Dating Trends & Advice \r\n“‘Date them til you hate them’ is an online idea/trend where you stay in a problematic relationship but never talk about or try to work out the problems for the purpose of eroding any positive feelings you have about your partner,” explains Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine. \r\n“It leads to developing feelings of disgust about them, thus ensuring that eventually, after too much time, you will break up with them and supposedly not feel bad at all because you don't even like them,” she adds. \r\n\r\nWhy This Dating Trend Isn’t the Best Idea\r\n\r\n“When something becomes viral, you have online people recommending self-destructive trends to others, and plenty of people are susceptible to being drawn in because in fact they don't like confrontation, or they have avoidance in relationships,” explains Saltz. “But sadly, this pattern of behavior hurts both the one doing it and the one being on the terrible receiving end.”\r\n“‘Date them til you hate them,’ for example, never makes sense,” says Saltz. “No relationship can do well, improve or sustain even without communicating about differences and problems large and small.”\r\nAccording to Saltz, all relationships have issues along the way, and never addressing them does actually doom the relationship, even if it’s a relationship that could have been improved and thrived.\r\nRELATED: Early Signs Your Relationship Will Last \r\n“‘Date them til you hate them’ raises clear problems in dating that I wish we did not need to experience as a culture to find a good partner,” adds Nicole Prause, Ph.D, licensed psychologist specializing in sexual physiology. Here’s why it’s not the best idea to opt into this break-up trend:\r\n1. It Sets a Negative Expectation\r\n“‘Date them 'til you hate them’ sets the expectation that negativity is always just around the corner to derail the relationship at any moment,” says Prause. “Dating is, by definition, a hopeful activity where someone tries over and over with the hope that there is a positive partner and experience imminent.” \r\nWhile this hope is, by definition, somewhat delusional (every date “fails” until it does not), Prause says it is necessary to maintain motivation to continue dating. \r\n2. It Encourages Impulsive Overcommitment\r\n“‘Date them til you hate them’ can encourage impulsive overcommitment, where people may accelerate the relationship prematurely, believing ‘no hate’ is evidence of relationship success,” explains Prause. “While there are ongoing cultural and scientific debates about ‘good enough’ dating, sex, and similar topics, there is always a need for balance.”\r\nRELATED: Signs You're In a Healthy Relationship \r\nAccording to Prause, just like partners need to be willing to trust someone new to have a romantic relationship, they also need to be sufficiently skeptical not to rush in trusting every claim without healthy skepticism.\r\n3. It Wastes Time for Both of You\r\n“This idea is designed not only to create a slow death for the relationship, but it also wastes a lot more time with someone you won't end up with,” says Saltz.\r\n4. It Hurts Communication Style\r\nAccording to Saltz, opting into ‘date them til you hate them’ can actually harm healthy communication styles for future relationships — both for you and your ex-partner.\r\n5. It Decreases Self-Esteem \r\n“This trend can decrease self-esteem because you and your ex-partner will end up feeling yucky about both yourselves and the other person,” explains Saltz.\r\n6. It Can Feel Like a Betrayal\r\n“‘Date them til you hate them’ harms trust because being frozen out of your partner's emotional life feels like a real betrayal,” adds Saltz. “Someone who is extremely scared of feelings person or who’s extremely narcissistic may feel the benefit to them is dodging confrontation, so they may see that as a benefit, but I would argue dodging all confrontation is self-sabotaging for a poor and undeniably unsuccessful way of relating to people.”\r\nRELATED: Why Never Fighting Is Actually a Red Flag \r\n“If something is a problem in your relationship, talk about it, nicely, calmly, constructively and early instead,” urges Saltz. “See if you can make changes in yourself and in your partner by discussing it such that you both find a way.”\r\nIf there is no way after much discussion and some time, and it’s a deal breaker… then break the deal. \r\n“Staying in a bad relationship that cannot change helps neither of you,” says Saltz.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nUnderstanding TikTok's '10 Date Rule'Experts Break Down Gen Z's Dating SlangUnderstanding the 3-6-9 Rule in Relationships", "keywords": "The, Problem, With, Date, Them, Until, You, Hate, Them", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/the-problem-with-date-them-until-you-hate-them/askmen-lead-image-2x1-57-1763659054.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/the-problem-with-date-them-until-you-hate-them.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 09:00:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115609", "lang_id": "1", "title": "His Mother Was Lying in State When We Did It for the First Time", "title_slug": "his-mother-was-lying-in-state-when-we-did-it-for-the-first-time", "title_hash": "18340e5baf5cde4aabdec48616a9107f", "summary": "In October, I started doing a countdown to my birthday on my Facebook status. Each time I checked the number of people who had viewed my status, I saw Amankwah’s …", "content": "

In October, I started doing a countdown to my birthday on my Facebook status. Each time I checked the number of people who had viewed my status, I saw Amankwah’s name there. We hadn’t spoken to each other since we broke up two years ago. If I say “broke up,” it sounds more dignifying than what actually happened. We didn’t break up. He simply ghosted me until I got the message that he was no longer interested in the relationship.

He lives in the UK. He came home two years ago for his mother’s funeral. That was when we met. I lived not too far from their house, so I saw him every day, and through that, we became friends. When he needed to buy things for the funeral, he took me with him to help.

I was with him throughout the funeral preparations, and he said I was a good girl and had been very helpful. He introduced me to his other siblings and said, “Barbie has been a great help to me. Had it not been for her, I would have suffered terribly.”

His sister suggested he should marry me. His brother said, “There are a lot of good women like this at home, but you’ll later marry a witch from the UK who will make your life difficult.”

Later he told me, “I think I will have to listen to my siblings. When will you take me home to see your parents?”

When he proposed and I accepted, we agreed to go and see my parents after the funeral. His mom had been laid in state when we had our first intimacy. At dawn, after he had cried all night, he told me, “Give me comfort, I’m dying.” We did it again and again until morning.

In my mind, I’d found my husband, the one whose rib was used to mold me. I called my parents and told them about him. I asked them to get ready for our arrival. A few days after the funeral, he said, “I’ve had an emergency call from the UK and have to go back.”

That was the last time I saw him or had a meaningful conversation with him. He got to the UK and didn’t bother about me again. I didn’t have his UK number. His siblings, who had been loudly convincing him to marry me, refused to give me his number when I asked them.

I sent messages every day on Facebook, but Amankwah read them and ignored them. This continued until I started seeing him watching my status. Three days before my birthday, I posted a photo and said, “Get your gift ready; I don’t want the ‘the queen was born today’ messages.”

He responded with a laughing emoji and said, “We’ve heard you. We know you deserve better, so we’ll give you good things.”

I read it and didn’t respond. On my birthday, I received GHC 5,000 from him. I was shocked. He later sent me a message: “You deserve better in life. Happy birthday.” I said, “Thank you for everything.”

It ended there, but three days later, he came again trying to have a conversation. I played nice and we went on and on. After that, I received GHC 2,000 from him again. He said, “Thanks for forgiving me.” I only laughed and said in my head, *“If you keep them coming, I will have nothing against you.”*

So whenever he called, we talked nicely. He called one day on video and we talked for over thirty minutes. He couldn’t stop talking about my body and how I’d grown nicely, and how the devil had closed his mind to good things like me. I smiled and went along with it. When he said my skin was looking good, I told him, “My cream is finished, ooo.”

After the conversation, I received GHC 1,000. He said, “Buy yourself a new cream. I want to come and see your skin radiating.” I asked, “Are you coming anytime soon?” He responded quickly, “Oh yeah, I’m coming home this Christmas.” I screamed in my head, *“I knew it! All this wouldn’t be for nothing.”*

He says he’s bringing me a phone. He’s even asked me to choose the kind of phone I want. He’s asked me to send him a list of things I want for Christmas. He says he’s doing all that as a way of saying sorry for his bad behavior. I only smile and say, “Oh, don’t worry. It’s fine.”

He will come and meet me here. I was raised a fool who doesn’t know what heartbreak is, so I will lie like a lamb at his feet and watch him sacrifice me this Christmas.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

Let me use this opportunity to remind the sisterhood that Christmas is coming and THEY are also coming. You know them. Those who will come to look for a wife and those who will see you today and call you ‘wifey’ tomorrow. The season is here, sisters! Be vigilant and don’t forget to attend the sisterhood meetings daily. Else, you won’t get all the memos.

—Barbie

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******

", "keywords": "His, Mother, Was, Lying, State, When, Did, for, the, First, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/3651.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/his-mother-was-lying-in-state-when-we-did-it-for-the-first-time/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 08:52:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115608", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband Is Disrespecting Me Because Of His Nephew", "title_slug": "my-husband-is-disrespecting-me-because-of-his-nephew", "title_hash": "4ee0f4c52b3fcd6b0ee27ca3ce773364", "summary": "A while ago, my husband’s nephew, who had been away hustling for almost three years, called him. He said life was very difficult for him and he needed transport money …", "content": "

A while ago, my husband’s nephew, who had been away hustling for almost three years, called him. He said life was very difficult for him and he needed transport money to come and see us. My husband sent him the money. I didn’t think much of it because helping a family member in need is normal. I also didn’t know that the boy intended to stay with us.

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When he arrived and I noticed he was settling in, I asked my husband about it. His response was very casual, “The boy is just passing through.” But weeks have passed, and he is still here.

One evening, I asked my husband again about the situation. Instead of giving me a simple explanation, he became angry and walked out of the room. I was shocked because all I wanted was clarity. Later, when he went to the hall, I texted him to continue the conversation. I thought communicating via text would calm things down.

My heart nearly stopped when I saw the replies. These are some of the things he sent:

“You have very bad fashion and am not going to continue like that so you better think twice. I was with my brother before I know you, so you will not be the one to tell me what to do. I don’t live with greedy woman. You will never be the one to separate my family.”

I knew it wasn’t my husband typing because my husband has a very distinct way of spelling, and he is not good at spelling or constructing proper sentences. Also, the tone was nothing like him. It was so obvious the nephew was the one sending those messages, but what hurts me most is that my husband allowed it. He gave his phone to the boy to speak to me like that.

I am dying inside.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

Right now, my husband is behaving as if I did something wrong. All I asked for was communication and basic respect as a wife. I am not telling him to send his nephew away. I just wanted him to talk to me first before making decisions about who stays in our home, even if it’s family. It’s our home, not just his.

I don’t know how to address this. I feel disrespected that he keeps dismissing my feelings on the matter. How should I handle this situation?

—Ama

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", "keywords": ", Husband, Disrespecting, Because, His, Nephew", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/img_1461.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-husband-is-disrespecting-me-because-of-his-nephew/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 08:52:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115607", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m Always in Police Trouble I Don’t Know What Is Following Me", "title_slug": "im-always-in-police-trouble-i-dont-know-what-is-following-me", "title_hash": "a1cf75fa1077297799f42f4ad06ef1f1", "summary": "I believe my problem is not just bad luck. I think it is spiritual. I come from a good family. I am married, and I have a child. Right now, …", "content": "

I believe my problem is not just bad luck. I think it is spiritual. I come from a good family. I am married, and I have a child. Right now, I have a police case pending against me. And this is not my first time.

Here is my story.

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I grew up with my dad and mum. Our life was good. Even when money was tight, it did not matter. We were always laughing, finding happiness in the small blessings God gave us. My mum is good people, a truly amazing woman. I remember her tying her wrapper tight around her waist and facing the world head on. She made sure we had everything we needed. Then life changed. My father passed away before I finished senior high school. In that moment, my mother became my entire world.

My first trouble with the police was here in Ghana. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time during a raid. They arrested me, and I spent one night in custody before I was released.

The second time, I was in the USA. I was with some Ghanaian friends who were involved in receiving illegal packages through the mail. Because I was with them, I was arrested again. This time, I stayed in jail for three weeks. It was a heavy burden on my family, especially my poor mum. She suffered so much because of me. Her finances took a deep dive because of my case, and it took her a long time to recover. The case was eventually dismissed, but my name was already tarnished.

This third arrest is the one that hurts the most. Hmmm. The man I work with trusted me completely. He let me lead his business. He put his faith in me. And I cannot explain why I ended up taking from him. I do not know why I did it. If you ask me about the money, all I can say is this: I don’t know where it went. This pain is deep. It hurts me so much.

My life feels like a drama now. It is a mess, and it is draining me. I need all the help I can get, both physical and spiritual. I am starting to believe it is mostly spiritual because of how often I find myself tangled with the law.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

You might think I have done nothing to help myself. That is not true. I have kept to myself. I have tried to live a good life. I have consulted men of God and even some powerful spiritual people. But I cannot seem to find the solution to this heavy thing sitting on my soul.

I am a smart person. I am a good person. I help others. I give freely. I adore nature. I have a good education. There is no excuse for me not to be a better person.

So I ask you and those who read this: if you have faced a similar situation, how did you come out of it? How did you know it was not a spiritual attack? Is there a spiritual person out there who can truly help me identify and solve this problem that follows me?

—Yaw

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "I’m, Always, Police, Trouble, Don’t, Know, What, Following", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "49", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/12625.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/im-always-in-police-trouble-i-dont-know-what-is-following-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 08:52:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115606", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Is Living With Another Woman But He Is Holding Me Captive", "title_slug": "he-is-living-with-another-woman-but-he-is-holding-me-captive", "title_hash": "e37394dd6a6b477a17af6b72d3a85691", "summary": "I met my fiancé when I was in my final year at the university. At that time, he was everything I thought I wanted in a man. I was 23 …", "content": "

I met my fiancé when I was in my final year at the university. At that time, he was everything I thought I wanted in a man. I was 23 years old. After school, I got pregnant while doing my national service. He was abroad then, and when I told him, he encouraged me to keep the pregnancy. I had our first child, and when he returned to the country, we lived together as a married couple.

Along the line, I began seeing hints of infidelity — messages and pictures. I didn’t take them seriously because my father always advised me that nowhere is perfect, so I overlooked everything. He travelled again, and during his stay abroad, I saw even more signs of cheating. Again, I ignored it, convincing myself that he was a man with needs and I wasn’t there.

When he came back, I got pregnant with our second child. This time, the cheating became intense. I was so stressed and depressed that I eventually had a miscarriage. We separated after that. He moved in with his new girlfriend, and I went back to my parents’ house. Our families tried to reconcile us, but it didn’t work. Because of our daughter, we still had occasional contact.

Both families later agreed that he should rent a place for me and our child, and he did. I didn’t know he kept a spare key. One evening, while I was taking my bath, I heard someone unlocking my door. I rushed out to check on my daughter and shouted to ask who it was. He replied that it was him. He entered, and we argued. I didn’t understand why he would invade my privacy.

He told me he came to check if I had brought another man there. I was wearing only a towel, so I went back to the washroom to put on clothes. He followed me, came at me and forced himself on me. When he finished he said, “I will never allow any man near you.” He scared me.

Early the next morning, I left and went back to my mother’s house and remained there. When they asked me why, I couldn’t tell them that my husband broke into my apartment and violated me.

Two months later, I found out I was pregnant again. I told him, and he said it was good news. I didn’t want to keep it initially, but because of what he said, I did. When I later asked for upkeep money, he told me that if I wouldn’t allow him to sleep with me, he wouldn’t give me anything. I was working at the time, so I managed on my own. He supported only when he felt like it.

When I finally gave birth, he split the hospital bills with me. A few months later, he repeated that he would never allow another man near me. “Now you even have two children so no man will take you seriously.”

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

He was clearly trying to use the children to control me. Even now, he shows up unannounced. Sometimes he comes to my workplace , hoping to catch me with another man even though he is living with another woman.

I reported all this to my dad and his family, but both sides told me that because of the children, I cannot stop him from coming around. I’m not interested in another relationship at the moment, but I can feel he is holding me down and trying to control my life. How can I stop him before it gets worse than this?

—Melly

#SB

", "keywords": ", Living, With, Another, Woman, But, Holding, Captive", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/224565.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-is-living-with-another-woman-but-he-is-holding-me-captive/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-21 08:52:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115458", "lang_id": "1", "title": "From Marriage Equality to SCOTUS Reform: Imani and Jess Answer Your Questions (Podcast)", "title_slug": "from-marriage-equality-to-scotus-reform-imani-and-jess-answer-your-questions-podcast", "title_hash": "921a6c07782427f30f39a28f8666cf7b", "summary": "Imani and Jess (mostly) answer audience questions about the biggest legal news story of the day.\nThe post From Marriage Equality to SCOTUS Reform: Imani and Jess Answer Your Questions (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode of Boom! Lawyered Imani and Jess answer audience questions on everything from threats to same-sex marriage, how to reform the federal courts, and what should be kept and what should be scrapped if we rewrote the Constitution.

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Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post From Marriage Equality to SCOTUS Reform: Imani and Jess Answer Your Questions (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "From, Marriage, Equality, SCOTUS, Reform:, Imani, and, Jess, Answer, Your, Questions, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/BL-S09-Ep45-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/20/from-marriage-equality-to-scotus-reform-imani-and-jess-answer-your-questions-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 12:07:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115123", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Navigating the Holidays With Your In-Laws", "title_slug": "navigating-the-holidays-with-your-in-laws", "title_hash": "bf375b55ed6fbbf6ca2c492b5e02db8f", "summary": "Are you nervous about the holidays this year? These therapist-approved tips can help. \nThe post Navigating the Holidays With Your In-Laws appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Are you nervous about the holidays this year? These therapist-approved tips can help.

The post Navigating the Holidays With Your In-Laws appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Navigating, the, Holidays, With, Your, In-Laws", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Holidays-with-In-Laws.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-navigate-holidays-with-your-in-laws/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 11:41:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115031", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Things You Should Never Say in a Moment of Closeness", "title_slug": "10-things-you-should-never-say-in-a-moment-of-closeness", "title_hash": "f195cc48d0167825ea8d8c4625a6864e", "summary": "It’s strange how a few words can change everything.In those quiet, close moments, what you say — or…", "content": "It’s strange how a few words can change everything.In those quiet, close moments, what you say — or…", "keywords": ", Things, You, Should, Never, Say, Moment, Closeness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/during-3.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-things-you-should-never-say-in-a-moment-of-closeness/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 11:37:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "115025", "lang_id": "1", "title": "100+ Fun Paint Night Ideas for Couples", "title_slug": "100-fun-paint-night-ideas-for-couples", "title_hash": "bf70f6c2f2098d8c30dbe0794b3318c9", "summary": "Bring your at-home Paint Night to life with 100+ ideas, fun variations, and our free “What Should We Paint?” generator for couples.\nThe post 100+ Fun Paint Night Ideas for Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Bring your at-home Paint Night to life with 100+ ideas, fun variations, and our free “What Should We Paint?” generator for couples.

The post 100+ Fun Paint Night Ideas for Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "100, Fun, Paint, Night, Ideas, for, Couples", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/75F1DC80-00C8-4224-A01F-AED4A871D43E.mp4?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/100-fun-paint-night-ideas-for-couples/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 11:37:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "114836", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dear Doctors, Leave Our Women Alone", "title_slug": "dear-doctors-leave-our-women-alone", "title_hash": "7a93905580c0467a6d1e812766ddeea7", "summary": "Dear Doctors in Our Hospitals, I write this letter on behalf of many young men, boyfriends, fiancés, and even husbands who are silently battling a concern that has become both …", "content": "

Dear Doctors in Our Hospitals,

I write this letter on behalf of many young men, boyfriends, fiancés, and even husbands who are silently battling a concern that has become both troubling and heartbreaking. This letter is not meant to attack, disrespect, or generalise all doctors, but to humbly and honestly express a plea from those of us at home who trust our partners and expect them to return from school with dignity, focus, and loyalty.

We would like you to kindly leave our beloveds alone when they come to the hospital to do their clinicals. They are not yours. As you leave your wives at home and come to the hospital to work, we also wait at home believing that the women we love will complete their training successfully and come back to build a future with us. Some of us have been supporting them faithfully from the very beginning of their academic journey.

Unfortunately, what is supposed to be a place of learning has slowly become a place of emotional battles for us. When these ladies go for their clinical rotations, we begin to notice a change. Phone calls reduce, messages delay, priorities shift—and we are forced to ask ourselves: What exactly is happening during these clinicals?

The truth is, some doctors spend more time chasing these young ladies than supervising their training. Instead of focusing on teaching medical or nursing skills, they shift into full charm mode. They offer money here and there. Sometimes they make promises of securing them good positions in reputable hospitals. Other times it’s outings in their cars, complete with expensive food and comfort.

We all know that most of these actions are not driven by genuine love or long-term intentions. At the end of the day, these doctors return home to their wives or girlfriends, while we—the men at home—are left heartbroken. It’s hard to become outsiders in relationships we have built with sacrifice.

I know that as much as we address the doctors, we also acknowledge that the blame is not entirely one-sided. Some of our ladies have simply refused to be mature and value what they have. They fall too easily for material things and the illusion of a comfortable life. A little money, a free meal, or a ride in an air-conditioned car is all it takes to weaken their loyalty. In this era where many ladies choose luxury over commitment, what should we expect?

We are not asking our partners to reject mentorship or professional guidance. All we ask is that they remember the love, respect, and sacrifices of the men who have stood by them from the beginning. And we also ask that doctors, in their positions of influence, exercise discipline and respect for their profession.

The hospital is a place meant for healing, growth, learning, and service. It should not become a battleground for temptation or emotional manipulation. We plead with you: teach them, guide them, mentor them—but leave it there.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

\nTo our dear ladies, remember the partners who have supported you, encouraged you, and sacrificed for you. Not every man who spoils you with food or promises you a job has good intentions. Some simply want what they want and will move on without looking back.

May God help us all. May He guide our doctors to uphold their professional ethics and personal integrity. May He strengthen our partners to stay focused and loyal. And may He give us, the men at home, patience and peace as we continue urging our women to pursue careers.

Sincerely,

—Ajax

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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In 2023, I moved to Accra for a new job. They gave us a shared house, and one of my housemates had a younger sister. She was a student nurse, sweet and quiet. Whenever she visited, we would just say “hi” and “how are you?” That was it. I never thought much of it.

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Then one day, my phone rang. It was her. She had taken my number from her brother’s phone. She was on her way back to school and just decided to call. I could hear in her voice that she liked me. And honestly, I was lonely. So we started talking, and just like that, we were dating.

Two weeks in, she told me she was a virgin. A “pure farm,” as we say. My own heart had been broken before, so I was scared. I opened up to her. I told her I was afraid to love her unless I was sure she loved me too. She understood. And when we finally took that step, it felt like I had given her every part of me, my body, my mind, and my soul. After that, I was all in

I wanted to take care of her. If she needed money for school, I sent it. If she needed something for herself, I made sure she had it, even before she asked. I loved providing for her. It made me feel like I was building something with her.

But her brother was not having it. He was ready to fight her over me. And she was ready to fight him right back. It was her mother who finally calmed things down and gave us her blessing. Meeting her family was a big step. They welcomed me with just one firm warning. They said, “Do not get her pregnant before marriage.” My family loved her too. It felt like we were building something real, you know. Something special.

For two years, we did the long-distance thing. I was in Accra, and she was in Kumasi. It was hard, but we made it work. She only visited when she was traveling back to school, which I understood. I missed her, but I believed in us.

Then, my health started to fail. I would get tired just walking a short distance. When the doctors told me my kidneys were failing, my whole world shrank. I was sick and scared, and it changed me. I was not the man I used to be, and I told her everything. There were nights I lay in bed, truly believing I might not see the morning.

So when the doctor sat me down early this year and told me my kidneys had recovered, I felt a relief I cannot describe. The first person I called was her. Not my mom, not my brother. Her. She was my first thought.

One evening, she sent me screenshots of a chat with her friend’s boss. He invited her to church, then asked for her pictures. Instead of shutting him down, she promised to ‘flood his phone’ with more. I was so angry. I asked her what was wrong with her and why she was so desperate for attention. I know that hurt her, and I regret how I said it, but it was like my heart was breaking in real time.

Instead of stopping, she just got better at hiding it. Her own brother called me to warn me she was still talking to the man. He was now on my side, begging her to be faithful, but she would not listen.

This man started picking her up for “church” early in the morning and bringing her back late at night. That was their routine.

With her brother’s help, we talked to her friend. And the friend told us everything. She said my girlfriend had let this man kiss her and that she had kissed him back. The friend was just as confused as I was. She said the man was a known flirt who had even hit on her first.

But what hurt most was what happened next. As soon as her friend left, my girlfriend ran to call this man and told him everything. Her friend was so betrayed she quit her job and left that church for good.

I was done. I told myself it was over. But how do you just turn off your heart. How do you unfavorite the person who was your whole world.

I could not. So I took her back, clinging to the hope that maybe it was just a kiss. We involved her mother again, and things seemed calm on the surface. But deep down, something between us had broken. Our conversations felt stiff. Our connection was like a weak phone signal, cutting in and out.

I begged her to come to Accra so we could try to fix things. Her mother agreed. But suddenly, there was always an excuse. “My period is in,” she would say. Or, “My eyes hurt, I cannot see well enough to travel.” Every day, a new reason not to come.

So I went to Kumasi myself. I needed to see her and to look into her eyes and know the truth. When she arrived, I took her phone. I know it sounds controlling, but my trust was so shattered I felt I had no other choice.

I checked her call log and found nothing. I checked her WhatsApp chats and they were all cleared. But then I opened her WhatsApp call history, and my heart just dropped. There they were. Multiple video calls with that same man. The last one was from less than a week ago.

In that moment, I felt my soul leave my body.

I asked her, “What is it about this man that you cannot let go.”

She said, “You would not understand.”

When I pushed, she told me, “Sometimes when I read the Bible and do not understand, he explains it to me. He is a pastor’s son.”

That night, when I tried to hold her, she told me she was “born again” now and that we could only be intimate after marriage.

The next morning, I took her to the bus stop. She promised she would come to see me at my place by 4:30, after church. I waited and waited. She never came.

Instead, her sister called me around 7 p.m., asking if she was with me. Then her brother called. She had told them she was coming to see me, but she never did.

That is when I knew. It was over.

I went back to Accra the next day, my heart in pieces. She never even called to see if I got home safe.

Her family held a meeting. They were afraid I might try to hurt her. They offered to pay me back for all I had spent on her.

But I told them no. Everything I did, I did out of love. The only thing I asked for was the 5,000 GHS I had recently invested in her business. I had told her from the start that it was an investment and not a gift because I was already feeling us slip away. The truth is, I had already spent nearly 9,000 GHS setting her up. That 5,000 meant nothing if we were together. But after everything, I could not let my money go into a lie.

Of course, she kept postponing paying me back. She set the dates herself and broke every single one.

One night, feeling completely broken, I joined a relationship coach’s live session on TikTok. I shared my story because I was at my lowest. I honestly thought about walking into her church and causing a scene.

But the people there saved me. They told me to let it go. To take the lesson and not the pain.

So I decided to call her brother and tell him I was letting the debt go. But before I could, a notification popped up on my phone.

She had sent 2,000 GHS with the message, “I am sorry.”

I still called her brother. I told him I was done chasing the rest. If she pays, fine. If not, I am letting it be.

I also told him the truth. I did not fall for her because she was beautiful. I fell for her because she trusted me with her first time. Because she fought her own family for me when I was ready to walk away.

I had planned a whole future with her. My dream was to live abroad, and I wanted her by my side. It did not matter how we got there, as long as we were together.

All of this heartbreak happened between January and April.

But God’s timing is not our own.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

In August, my UK visa was approved. Today, I am writing this from a place I once dreamed we would share. It is not perfect, but I am here. And I know now that God had a different plan for me.

I am sharing this for anyone who has ever poured their heart, time, and money into someone, only to be left feeling empty. Please remember that your love is an investment. Your time is an investment. Do not let someone take it for granted.

Accept what happened. Learn from it. People do not really change. They just learn to hide it better.

Stop chasing them. Chase your purpose. If you do not have one, find it. Build your own dream.

And never forget that God always has a plan.

—P.S

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Man, Took, Her, Church, and, Took, Woman, but, God, Had, His, Own, Plan", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/17649.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/a-man-took-her-to-church-and-took-my-woman-but-god-had-his-own-plan/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 11:25:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "114835", "lang_id": "1", "title": "We Broke Up a Day Before Our Wedding But I Dressed Up and Went to Church Anyway", "title_slug": "we-broke-up-a-day-before-our-wedding-but-i-dressed-up-and-went-to-church-anyway", "title_hash": "6fb8feab37ff262a47d77d836e6a56e6", "summary": "When Fiifi and I started dating, it felt like our kind of love was forged in heaven. It doesn’t mean everything was rosy—no. We fought often, but for two years, …", "content": "

When Fiifi and I started dating, it felt like our kind of love was forged in heaven. It doesn’t mean everything was rosy—no. We fought often, but for two years, we always found our way back, convincing ourselves that our differences were just the fire that forged a stronger love. Our friends said, “As for you two, no one can handle your issues. If we try, we will become a third person.” We believed we were meant for each other, but for some reason, we couldn’t stop fighting over little things. He used to say we loved each other more than our differences showed, and I believed him with my whole heart. So after two years, when we agreed to get married, I thought the worst was behind us.

The wedding preparations brought out a side of us I didn’t even know existed. Every little thing became a battlefield—vendors, colors, venue, outfits. I’m naturally the type who speaks her mind, and Fiifi also doesn’t joke with his mother. I knew he loved his mother, but I didn’t know it was only his mother’s opinion that mattered to him. Every single decision had to pass his mother’s inspection first. Because of that, his mother wanted to control everything—what food we should serve, which decorator we should use, even the design of my own dress.

I didn’t understand why she should dictate our wedding. Meanwhile, when my mother suggested something small, Fiifi immediately rejected it. It felt unfair. It felt disrespectful. So of course, I talked. I talked plenty. Maybe too much. But I didn’t know how to swallow things quietly. Even during counseling, we fought. The pastor asked if we had unresolved issues, and before I knew it, we were arguing right there in front of him. Looking back, I see the red flags clearly, but at that time, I kept telling myself love would fix everything.

Then came the day before the wedding. The day everything exploded. Fiifi’s mother accused me of being overbearing, all because I wanted to make my case. And I won’t lie, the way she said it pained me. I responded immediately. I told her flat out, “Mom, with all due respect, this is our wedding. I should have a say, and you won’t deny me that.” Fiifi jumped in, shouting at me to shut up. While I kept my cool, his mother didn’t stop hurling words at me. I responded, “You can wait for your daughter’s wedding to do that.”

I was angry. I had had to accept everything she said about my wedding until that moment. It was an explosion from a place of deep-seated frustration. Fiifi and his mom didn’t hold back. While his mom called me the most disrespectful person she’d met, Fiifi added, “You can get away with everything but not this. I can’t marry a woman who has zero respect for my mother.”

He stormed off, and I also left, shaking with anger and confusion. We didn’t talk again after that. Not that night. Not even at dawn. I wanted to call and ask if the wedding was still on, but I felt it was a silly question to ask. We had been through many problems and had gotten back together, so I thought we were going to be just fine.

I woke up in the morning and started dressing up. My makeup artist kept asking if I was okay. My mom called and asked if everything was alright because she had called Fiifi’s mom and she had refused to pick up her calls. I lied. I told her all was well so she shouldn’t bother. I wore my gown with tears threatening behind my lashes. I checked my phone every second to see if he had said something, but there was nothing. I got to the church premises before him. I had to wait in my car to see if he would turn up. The pastor came to ask, “Is everything alright? Where is your husband?”

While the pastor was talking to me, we saw his car coming. He got out and didn’t even look my way. He hurriedly went inside the church, and I later followed. We both went through the process without saying a word to each other. We forced the pictures, the vows, the rings. Everything felt like acting. At the reception, he left early. No explanation. No goodbye. And he never came back. We didn’t even get the chance to do the couple dance. It didn’t take a clever person to know all was not well.

Three months later, nothing has changed. He’s still living with his mother, and I’m in my house alone. The house we both rented to turn into our home is empty and abandoned. We’ve never lived together as husband and wife. Fiifi insists he’s not going to move in. Our families keep trying to fix things, but if I’m being honest, I feel my heart is letting go. Yes, I’m confrontational. Yes, I should have kept quiet sometimes. I know I pushed too hard, and maybe I didn’t show enough respect to the woman he loves the most. But Fiifi also chose his mother’s voice over mine every single time. He never defended me. He never balanced the scales. And his temper, my God! The smallest thing could set him off.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

He wants a wife who is quiet. I want a husband who is a man, not an extension of his mother. My regret is not that I spoke my mind; it’s the fact that I still went through with the wedding thinking we could put this one too behind us. I’m tired of fighting. Maybe, just maybe, I’m finally done. Well, not that I believe he would change his mind and come back for us to *be* married, but even if he should, he would meet a woman who has nothing left in her heart for him. Maybe we’ll use that period when we are both calm to tell each other that it’s over, so we can find our way out of this thing we call marriage.

—Sister

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Broke, Day, Before, Our, Wedding, But, Dressed, and, Went, Church, Anyway", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/39164.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/we-broke-up-a-day-before-our-wedding-but-i-dressed-up-and-went-to-church-anyway/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 11:25:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "114593", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Mifepristone on Trial: Where Lawsuits About a Key Abortion Medication Stand", "title_slug": "mifepristone-on-trial-where-lawsuits-about-a-key-abortion-medication-stand", "title_hash": "52300ce0b1f770b1b26694c637ee405a", "summary": "Federal regulations around mifepristone, which has provided abortion access across the United States, are being challenged in multiple lawsuits from opposing directions.\nThe post Mifepristone on Trial: Where Lawsuits About a Key Abortion Medication Stand appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Despite its strong safety record, the abortion and miscarriage drug mifepristone has been taken to court in several conflicting lawsuits, where some plaintiffs argue the drug should be easier to access, and others say it should be more restricted.

The medication, sometimes prescribed through telehealth and sent to patients by mail, has provided abortion access across the United States and become a prime target for abortion opponents.

A group of ongoing federal lawsuits challenges the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s 2023 decision to maintain special requirements for the abortion pill, with a federal court in Washington upholding the FDA’s decision, a federal court in Hawaii asking the FDA to justify its decision, and a court in Virginia still to rule. Yet another lawsuit, filed Nov. 13 by the American Civil Liberties Union, challenges the FDA under the Freedom of Information Act, alleging the agency has, without giving a reason, refused to disclose the parameters of its mifepristone review and related communications with outside groups.

Heidi Purcell et al. v. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. et al.

Court: U.S. District Court for the District of Hawaii

Claims: Originally named Chelius v. Wright and filed Oct. 3, 2017, by the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of a family doctor and several medical associations, this lawsuit challenges the FDA’s mifepristone restrictions as unduly burdensome and arbitrarily restrictive, in violation of the Administrative Procedure Act.

Stakes: This case could determine whether the FDA can continue requiring special certifications for patients and providers, which plaintiffs argue deter and delay care, and present privacy risks for patients and providers post-Roe. If plaintiffs succeed, mifepristone could become easier to dispense and access throughout the country.

Status: On Oct. 30, Judge Jill Otake, nominated by Republican President Donald Trump, ruled the FDA did not properly justify its 2023 decision or consider all of the evidence when it decided to maintain current restrictions on mifepristone. She ordered the agency to reconsider its decision. Plaintiffs did not seek to vacate the regulations in its lawsuit, so for now they remain in place pending the outcome of the FDA’s review and response to the court. A joint status report from plaintiffs and defendants on how the case should proceed is due Dec. 4.

Whole Woman’s Health Alliance et al. v. U.S. Food and Drug Administration et al.

Court: U.S. District Court for the Western District of Virginia

Claims: On May 8, 2023, abortion providers in Virginia, Montana, and Kansas challenged the FDA’s mifepristone rules as unduly burdensome and arbitrarily restrictive, similar to the claims in Purcell v. Kennedy.

Stakes: If plaintiffs succeed in this case, mifepristone could become easier to dispense and access.

Status: U.S. District Judge Robert S. Ballou, nominated by Democratic President Joe Biden, heard oral arguments on the motions for summary judgment in May but has not yet issued a decision.

Washington et al. v. FDA et al.

Court: U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Washington

Claims: On Feb. 23, 2023, Washington and initially 11 other states challenged the FDA’s mifepristone regulations as burdensome and unnecessary.

Stakes: Expanding mifepristone access was on the line in this case.

Status: Terminated. Judge Thomas O. Rice, nominated by former Democratic President Barack Obama, ruled this summer that the FDA’s review and decision regarding the mifepristone restrictions was reasonable, not arbitrary or capricious.

American Civil Liberties Union v. FDA

Court: U.S. District Court for the District of Maryland

Claims: On Nov. 13, 2025, the ACLU sued the FDA arguing it has not complied with the Freedom of Information Act. The nonprofit law firm in August sought expedited records around the parameters of the FDA’s ongoing review of mifepristone and communications with outside groups. The ACLU alleges the agency has failed to provide a determination regarding the request.

Stakes: Records released as part of this lawsuit could bring transparency to HHS’ review of the abortion pill.

Status: The government has not yet filed a brief in response to the lawsuit, which has been assigned to Magistrate Judge Timothy J. Sullivan.

Another group of lawsuits challenge state abortion pill restrictions, arguing that federal law, which allows medication abortions to be prescribed via telehealth and by the mail up to ten weeks’ gestation, supersedes state laws.

GenBioPro v. Kristina Raynes et al.

Court: U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit (on appeal from U.S. District Court for the Southern District of West Virginia)

Claims: In 2023, mifepristone generic manufacturer GenBioPro sued West Virginia after the state criminalized abortion and explicitly banned prescription of mifepristone by telemedicine. The company argued federal law preempts West Virginia law and that Congress authorized only the FDA to impose restrictions on access to mifepristone.

Stakes: A ruling in plaintiffs’ favor could have made abortion drugs easier to access in a state that has cut off access to pregnancy termination in most circumstances.

Status: Terminated. District court Judge Robert C. Chambers, nominated by former Democratic President Bill Clinton, found in 2023 that the Food and Drug Administration Amendments Act did not preempt West Virginia’s abortion regulation. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit affirmed the lower court’s decision in July.

Amy Bryant v. Timothy Moore et al.

Court: U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit (on appeal from U.S. District Court for the Middle District of North Carolina)

Claims: In 2023, North Carolina Dr. Amy Bryant sued her state over medication abortion restrictions, arguing the FDA’s mifepristone policy preempts state restrictions, which require in-person prescribing, dispensing and administering; prohibit providers other than physicians from prescribing mifepristone; mandate the scheduling of an in-person follow-up appointment; and require non-fatal adverse events reported to the FDA.

Stakes: The case could limit states’ ability to restrict medication abortion.

Status: Chief Judge Catherine C. Eagles, nominated by Obama, found that some restrictions were preempted by federal law but upheld other state requirements, including mandatory ultrasounds and waiting periods. The case is pending appeal.

Birthmark Doula Collective et al. v. Louisiana et al.

Court: Louisiana’s 19th Judicial District Court

Claims: On Oct. 31, 2024, birth workers, medical professionals, and a pregnant woman challenged a Louisiana law that classifies mifepristone and misoprostol as controlled dangerous substances, even though the FDA does not. They argue the classification delays access to these medications during emergencies, risking the health and safety of patients experiencing miscarriages.

Stakes: Drugs used for emergencies during pregnancy could become easier for providers to access if plaintiffs prevail.

Status: Pending in state trial court. In May, the court held a hearing on a motion to dismiss and ruled the challenge can proceed.

Another group of lawsuits seek to reimpose more restrictions on mifepristone and argue the FDA erred in its decision to allow abortion medication prescribed through telehealth and sent through the mail. Both cases cite anecdotes of women being coerced or drugged by partners to argue in-person visits are in the best interest of abortion patients.

Missouri et al. v. FDA et al.

Court: U.S. District Court of Eastern District of Missouri

Claims: Originally filed Nov. 18, 2022 by a group of anti-abortion doctors and groups that claimed that mifepristone is highly dangerous and the FDA unlawfully loosened restrictions. The U.S. Supreme Court rejected the case last summer, determining plaintiffs did not have standing to sue and remanded it to lower courts.

Stakes: If plaintiffs prevail, the FDA could bar telehealth and mail delivery of medication abortion, which would curtail access throughout the country.

Status: The lawsuit was resurrected by attorneys general in Idaho, Kansas, and Missouri. It was transferred last month from Trump appointee Matthew Kascmaryk’s court in Texas to Trump appointee Cristian Stevens’ court in Missouri.

Louisiana et al. v. FDA et al.

Court: U.S. District Court for the Western District of Louisiana Lafayette Division

Claims: Filed Oct. 6, 2025, the state of Louisiana and resident Rosalie Markezich are suing to vacate the FDA’s 2023 decision to remove the in-person dispensing requirement. Markezich says she was coerced by a former partner to take the abortion pill, which she says he ordered in her name and received by mail.

Stakes: If plaintiffs prevail, the FDA could bar telehealth and mail delivery for abortion medication, which could curtail access throughout the country.

Status: The case is pending in district court before Trump appointee Judge David C. Joseph.

This article was republished from News From the States, part of States Newsroom. Read the original story by Sofia Resnick here.

The post Mifepristone on Trial: Where Lawsuits About a Key Abortion Medication Stand appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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\r\n\r\n

Democrats blinked. Again.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

After six weeks of a Republican-manufactured government shutdown—the longest in U.S. history—Democrats folded. They agreed to reopen the government without securing the one thing they swore they wouldn’t budge on: extending the federal insurance subsidies that millions of people rely on to keep their Affordable Care Act (ACA) health insurance even marginally affordable.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Even though Republicans were taking the blame for the shutdown, Democrats caved first. With Democrats backed into a corner of their own making, once Senate Republicans saw the collapse coming, they did what Republicans always do: They started talking about abortion.

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Democrats made their bed

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Republicans offered to extend the federal subsidies—but only if ACA plans have more stringent restrictions on abortion coverage.

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‘But wait,’ you may be thinking. ‘The Hyde Amendment already bans federal funding for abortion (even though banning public funding is discriminatory).’

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

You’re right, it does. But Republicans are now trying to extend Hyde restrictions to private insurance beneficiaries. In other words, they now want to ban private funds from being used for abortions, too—not just public funds.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

So now, Democrats face a dilemma of their own creation: When the insurance issue comes back up for a vote in December, do they side against the subsidies they demanded to end the shutdown or accept a nationwide rollback of abortion coverage?

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The latter would pose an obvious problem for states that require insurers to offer abortion coverage. Colorado, for example, constitutionally requires it. Other states, including California and New York, mandate it by state law.

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If Republicans are successful in barring ACA plans from covering abortion, these states would have limited options. They could comply with state law and risk losing ACA subsidies; ignore state law and eliminate abortion coverage; or try to subsidize abortion coverage with insurance riders, if insurance companies are even willing to offer such provisions. (Evidence suggests they are not.)

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The offer is a “nonstarter,” according to Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), one of the seven Democrats who crossed the aisle to vote with Republicans to reopen the government. She argued the ACA already has guardrails against funding abortion.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

But do you know what else was ostensibly a nonstarter? Reopening the government without securing an extension of the ACA subsidies.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And I’m not convinced Democrats won’t find a way to make this situation worse in the name of saving face in 2026—especially when influential “liberal” voices like Ezra Klein want the party to run “pro-life Democrats” in states like Kansas, Missouri, and Ohio, where voters literally just passed pro-choice ballot initiatives.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Republicans have the power

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Democrats keep fumbling the bag. And the best-case scenario in the subsidies extension fight is a Republican win, because Democrats wasted six weeks on a shutdown before voting against the very thing they claimed was non-negotiable in order to protect abortion coverage.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It’s yet another unforced error by Democrats who keep acting as if Republicans will negotiate in good faith, even though they never do.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Republicans see shutdowns as opportunities.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Democrats see shutdowns as catastrophes.

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Republicans are willing to break the government to get ideological wins.

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Democrats are terrified of being blamed for disruption.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And that difference in posture and resolve is why we’re again watching Democrats surrender their leverage—the very leverage Republicans will now use to try to force Democrats to cave on reproductive rights.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Republicans love legislating abortion through appropriations riders. That’s why the Hyde Amendment has been a thorn in abortion advocates’ side since Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL) first added it to an appropriations bill in 1976. Republicans realize the easiest way to ban something is to attach a condition to some of the federal dollars people can’t live without.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

For congressional Republicans, every continuing resolution is a chance to add a new restriction on yet another right. Every funding deadline is a point of pressure to exploit. Every potential shutdown is a bargaining chip in their relentless pursuit of Christian theocracy.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

And it’s not like Democrats don’t know this: More than 40 Senate Democrats sent a letter last year urging the Senate Appropriations Committee to stop packing must-pass bills with discriminatory anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ+ riders.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It turns out that Republicans don’t need 60 votes to pass a federal abortion restriction. They just need Democrats to keep caving—or to start shutdowns they don’t have the stones to see through.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

So here we are: Six weeks after their pointless shutdown, Republicans are dictating the terms of negotiation while Democrats scramble to avoid yet another shutdown and protect insurance coverage for millions.

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But at this point, how can Democrats expect Republicans—or anyone else—to take them seriously?

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Time to draw the line—and hold it

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Democrats keep governing as if Republicans still care about governance.

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Sen. Tina Smith (D-MN), for example, said “To think that they would use this as the demand, which they know is not ever going to get Democratic support—what it tells me is that they’re not serious about extending these tax credits,” according to the Washington Post.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Of course they’re not serious about helping Americans pay for health care. Republicans have spent more than a decade trying to weaken or repeal the ACA.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

They’re serious about using every procedural choke point to cement policy wins that will outlast them. They’re serious about turning every funding fight into another opportunity to strip away rights. They’re serious about embedding their agenda into the fine print of federal budgets because they know Democrats will blink first.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

That’s the part I can’t get past. Republicans aren’t being coy about their plans. They’re doing this out loud! And Democrats—whether out of fear, caution, or delusion that Republicans will negotiate in good faith—keep letting them while issuing bland statements on social media about how they’re going to “keep fighting.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Keep fighting whom? How?

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Democrats already used the one weapon they had to defend both affordable health care and abortion rights. That was the shutdown, and they caved. The ACA subsidies expire at the end of the year. At this point, there’s nothing Democrats can do to stop it.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The best we can hope for now is that they won’t allow Republicans to dismantle abortion coverage the way they’ve dismantled so many other reproductive rights protections.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It’s a low bar. And I don’t know if they’ll pass it.

\r\n

The post Democrats Picked an Insurance Fight They Weren’t Willing to Win. Now Abortion Is On the Line—Again (Opinion) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Democrats, Picked, Insurance, Fight, They, Weren’t, Willing, Win., Now, Abortion, the, Line—Again, Opinion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "48", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Subsidies-or-Abortion-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/19/shutdown-abortion-democrats-aca-subsidies/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-20 11:09:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113857", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Transitioning Into a Role-Play", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-transitioning-into-a-role-play", "title_hash": "bdaf596ac56b1c652a9628125b7f936d", "summary": "A few stock transitions are all you need to move into role-playing with women in any courtship. Use my 5 role-play transitions for easy-peasy role-plays.\nCommenting on my guide to ‘little leaving’ (a kind of mini-takeaway), Appollo77 asks:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"transitioning$ A few stock transitions are all you need to move into role-playing with women in any courtship. Use my 5 role-play transitions for easy-peasy role-plays.

Commenting on my guide to ‘little leaving’ (a kind of mini-takeaway), Appollo77 asks:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Transitioning, Into, Role-Play", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/role-play-transition-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-transitioning-role-play", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113858", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Sleep with Girls Who 'Want Something Serious' (Without Lying)", "title_slug": "how-to-sleep-with-girls-who-want-something-serious-without-lying", "title_hash": "86d926f902cfb30f1741c3878282e007", "summary": "There are 3 kinds of ‘agenda mode’ / husband hunter type girls. Two of them you can sleep with; one, however, you must SCREEN OUT (to not waste time)!\nLots of guys right now are troubled over women in ‘agenda mode’:\nThose girls who are hunting for husbands, screening out the players, looking for commitment.\nHow do you, y’know, get it on with such girls?\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"hooking$ There are 3 kinds of ‘agenda mode’ / husband hunter type girls. Two of them you can sleep with; one, however, you must SCREEN OUT (to not waste time)!

Lots of guys right now are troubled over women in ‘agenda mode’:

Those girls who are hunting for husbands, screening out the players, looking for commitment.

How do you, y’know, get it on with such girls?

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", "keywords": "How, Sleep, with, Girls, Who, Want, Something, Serious, Without, Lying", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/girl-wants-something-serious-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-sleep-girls-who-want-something-serious-without-lying", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113856", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Fascinating Reasons Younger Men Find Older Women Irresistible", "title_slug": "10-fascinating-reasons-younger-men-find-older-women-irresistible", "title_hash": "44c99c9f9a588054711ee71a87533e85", "summary": "It’s not just attraction. It’s the way she makes things feel slower. The kind of slow that feels…", "content": "It’s not just attraction. It’s the way she makes things feel slower. The kind of slow that feels…", "keywords": ", Fascinating, Reasons, Younger, Men, Find, Older, Women, Irresistible", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/women-2-min.webp?strip=all&lossy=1&ssl=1", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-fascinating-reasons-younger-men-find-older-women-irresistible/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113855", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Reasons Why Women Get Turned On by a Man Who Can Say ‘No’", "title_slug": "10-reasons-why-women-get-turned-on-by-a-man-who-can-say-no", "title_hash": "203603cdef1ac4ae36b7b53170565975", "summary": "It’s not the word itself. It’s how he says it. That quiet confidence, the kind that makes you…", "content": "It’s not the word itself. It’s how he says it. That quiet confidence, the kind that makes you…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Why, Women, Get, Turned, Man, Who, Can, Say, ‘No’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/firstmove-1.webp?strip=all&lossy=1&ssl=1", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-reasons-why-women-get-turned-on-by-a-man-who-can-say-no/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113853", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Become a Better Listener in Your Relationship", "title_slug": "how-to-become-a-better-listener-in-your-relationship", "title_hash": "aff97abf80b6bb2deb626f1d1088cd07", "summary": "Miscommunication leads to misunderstanding, which can lead to grief for you. Learn how to be a better listener and spare yourself the woe.", "content": "At the risk of stating the obvious, communication is one of the main pillars of a healthy, successful relationship — and you can’t have quality communication without listening skills. \r\nUnfortunately, these skills are (to put it delicately) lacking in a lot of men. When you don’t listen effectively, your partner is more likely to feel misunderstood and uncared for. \r\nBut we’ll go out on a limb and assume you do care. So, where’s the disconnect? Well, according to experts, some guys just don’t grasp that there’s a difference between hearing and listening.\r\nBecoming a better listener is one of the best ways to become a better partner. In fact, we’ll go so far as to say that it could be the thing that helps your relationship go the distance. \r\nRELATED: Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship \r\nNot sure where to start? Here are some expert-approved tips for sharpening those listening skills.\r\n1. Resist the Urge to “Fix” Things\r\nIt’s one of the top things guys misunderstand about communicating: When their partner is venting, they immediately propose a “solution.” Sound familiar? \r\nIt’s important to acknowledge that there are typically good intentions behind this. It can be tough to see your partner sad, frustrated, anxious, or angry, and your instinct is probably to try and squash their discomfort (and yours). \r\nRELATED: How to Use 'Solve Languages' to Improve Your Relationship\r\nThe problem with this approach, though, is that your partner may not be looking for a solution at all — and your response may leave them feeling invalidated. \r\nAccording to therapists, this all-too-common mistake has evolutionary and societal roots.\r\n“From a young age, many men are taught that strength means finding solutions, not sitting in discomfort,” explains Daniel Moultrie, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of California Couples Counseling.\r\nAccording to Amalya Tagakchyan, LCSW, a therapist and CEO at Untangled Path Therapy, the issue with acting before understanding is it becomes a missed opportunity to really connect with your partner.\r\n“The need to fix can unintentionally send the message, ‘Your feelings make me uncomfortable,’ or ‘You shouldn’t feel that way’” adds Moultrie. “What most partners actually want in those moments is validation. Listening, without rushing to a solution, creates safety and trust, which is far more powerful than advice.”\r\nThat’s not to say there might not be occasions when your partner does want help fixing something. According to Caleb Birkhoff, a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice, your best bet is to simply ask: “Are you looking for ideas on how to handle this, or would you rather I just listen right now?”\r\n“This keeps you from inflicting help, checks assumptions, and helps your partner feel seen,” says Birkhoff. “You provide opportunities for them to use their agency to choose the kind of support they need.”\r\n2. Eliminate Distractions\r\nNo matter how good you may think you are at multitasking, the truth is it’s impossible to fully hear your partner if your attention is divided. That’s why David Hawkins, a clinical psychologist at Marriage Recovery Center, strongly advises putting away your phone and turning off the TV when your partner is trying to talk to you so you can be fully present.\r\nBetter yet, face them and make eye contact so they know they have your full, undivided focus.\r\nAnd if you’re right in the middle of sending a work email or completing a task when your partner starts talking, just say: “Hey, I really want to be able to fully listen to you, mind waiting a minute while I finish this?”\r\n3. Lean Into Curiosity\r\nWhether your partner is unloading some gripes about their manager at work, expressing nerves about an upcoming event, or sharing their grief about a recent loss, asking open-ended questions can go a long way.\r\nRELATED: How Asking Questions Is a Dating Hack That’ll Make You Sexier\r\n“Being interested in your partner’s life and the things they care about is a genuine demonstration of your love,” says Hawkins.\r\nNot only does asking questions show that you care, but it can also reveal more valuable information that enables you to understand where your partner is coming from. Here are some examples of open-ended questions to try:\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nCan you tell me more about what that felt like?\r\nWhat’s the hardest thing about this situation for you?\r\nIn an ideal world, how would you like this to play out?\r\nWhat’s your biggest fear about this right now?\r\nIs there something I can do to support you better through this?\r\n\r\n4. Listen With All Your Senses\r\nExperts say when you listen with your whole body, rather than just your ears, you pick up on a lot more subtle but significant cues from your partner.\r\n“Tone of voice, eye contact, and body language often communicate more than words,” explains Moultrie. \r\nFor example, if your partner has their arms crossed, they may be taking a self-defensive or protective posture because they’re feeling vulnerable. Or, if they avert their eyes when you ask them a question, that can signal discomfort or anxiety. When you pick up on this kind of information, you’re far better prepared to respond in an empathetic and helpful way.\r\nBy the way — you can show that you’re listening with your whole body, too. Angling yourself to face your partner and nodding at what they’re saying can go a long way in reassuring them that they have your attention.\r\nRELATED: How Men Can Work on Improving Their Emotional Intelligence\r\n5. Reflect & Clarify\r\nSummarizing or restating the key points of what your partner is saying and asking clarifying questions are both super effective ways to show them that you’re listening, and more importantly, that you want to make sure you understand correctly.\r\n“This doesn’t mean parroting,” says Moultrie. “It means capturing the essence.”\r\nFor example, you might respond by saying: “So, let me make sure I’ve got this. When I didn’t call, it made you feel like you weren’t a priority. Is that right?” \r\nThis technique, known as reflection, shows empathy and accountability, according to Moultrie.\r\n6. Don’t Underestimate the Power of a Pause\r\nIf you start to notice that you unintentionally invalidate your partner when they’re sharing something with you, experts advise working on simply pausing for a couple of seconds before you respond. \r\nTake a breath, replay what you just heard in your head, and notice it’s landing in your brain and in your body. \r\nYou can even say to your partner: “Hold on a sec, I’m still taking in what you said.”\r\nGiving yourself a few moments to process means you’re less likely to go into autopilot — which may mean “fix it” or defense mode. Instead, you can respond thoughtfully and with intention.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nCouples Exercises to Build Intimacy & Improve CommunicationHere's How to Communicate Your Needs While DatingHow to Talk to Women & Communicate Effectively", "keywords": "How, Become, Better, Listener, Your, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind/11_better_living/askmen-lead-image-2x1-55-1763444564.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind/11_better_living.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113854", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Grow a Mustache", "title_slug": "how-to-grow-a-mustache", "title_hash": "d8649463e8fb47875cf647e82dea5e0a", "summary": "The Ultimate Guide to Growing Out Your Stache", "content": "Mine had a great five-year run. It started as the end result of an ill-fated Halloween costume, shaving down my beard, leaving what was left behind to grow in its own fury.\r\nI’m talking about my mustache, of course. It grew in over time, really becoming its own person and a major talking point everywhere I went. \r\nRELATED: Best Beard Oils \r\nThis particular piece of facial hair makes a grand statement when done right (and a very different statement when not).\r\nAs the popularity of facial hair continues to grow, you may be considering your own “Tom Selleck,” “Burt Reynolds” or “Aaron Feld,” and it’s not as easy as just letting it grow out on its own. Beyond this writer’s own expertise, we spoke with a couple of grooming experts to get the inside scoop on what it really takes to grow, maintain and make your mustache a memorable one. \r\n\r\nShould I Grow a Mustache?\r\n\r\nThis is the big question. Mustaches aren’t suited for everyone and your facial hair needs to be the right consistency and thickness to build a well-suited upper lip. \r\n“I’d recommend that they grow everything out for three-to-four weeks without touching it,” says Michael Haar, owner and operator at Haar & Co. Barbershop in New York City. \r\nIf your beard is coming nicely and there’s enough hair above the lip to warrant a mustache after week four, you can start looking at shaving the excess and see how things look. Along the way, don’t forget to use a beard oil to help soothe the inevitable beard itch. \r\n\r\nDifferent Styles of Mustaches\r\n\r\n\r\nWe’re all familiar with the handlebar, curly and more straightforward chevron style, but there are a lot of mustache variations out there, some more outlandish than others, and choosing which one to opt for can be daunting. \r\nHaar suggests that you try to use your mustache to complement the shape of your face. Here are the three most common facial shapes, and how you should trim your mustache to work with your natural look. \r\nPear-Shaped Faces \r\nThose with traditional pear-shaped faces may want to go with something a little more triangular that broadens the face and offers a nice contrast. For men like this, a goatee is also a great option.\r\n\r\nRound Faces \r\nRounder faces tend to benefit from thinner mustaches, as well as mustaches that have greater verticality. You don't have to go full Hulk Hogan and extend the tips of your mustache to your chin, but even a slight downward slope at the tips can do wonders. \r\n\r\nRectangular and Oval Faces\r\nRectangular and oval faces are what Haar calls the “Brad Pitt” because this is a general shape that looks good with any sort of hair. If you're feeling saucy, opt for a more outlandish styling, but even the more discreet options will look great on you.\r\n\r\n\r\nHow to Trim Your Mustache\r\n\r\n“It’s all a question of what you want and what you want it to achieve,” says GROOM co-founder Julien Blanchard. \r\nHe has a full beard now, but notes that as he was growing it, there was some trimming involved. He used just a pair of small grooming scissors to keep things in line. \r\nSpeaking from this writer’s personal experience, those with thick, bushy facial hair run into two problems with overgrowth: the hair grows below the lip line, and it grows outward so much that it looks overbearing.\r\nBeyond scissors, I found that using the lightest blade on an electric razor was a great way to keep wiry hairs in line. Just a gentle push over the mustache often was all that was needed. Every one-to-two weeks, five minutes with the scissors and a razor made a world of difference. \r\n\r\nGrowing and Maintaining a Thicker Mustache\r\n\r\nUnless you’re getting into wax (more on that shortly), key maintenance is just keeping your whole face clean with a good wash, especially in the region where your mustache is growing. \r\n“Washing the dead skin cells away helps the hair grow faster and stronger,” Haar notes. \r\nAs far as mustache wax, Blanchard says there’s a particular way to do if you’re going for a certain shape.\r\n“You need to choose one that will fit your needs and it’s not always clear what your needs are,” he says. “You could use a softer one to keep hairs together, but you also may need one to keep hairs stiffer. Keep in mind that a stiffer wax will be harder to apply.” \r\nHe adds that sometimes he’ll apply a softer wax to start with, then a stiffer layer later on, and mix them both at the end to create a hybrid. \r\nAs mine grew and evolved, I never did use wax as the hair was so thick, it was going to do what it wanted anyway. And if you’re wondering when I knew it was time to shave it off? Haar puts it better than I could.\r\n“When it becomes its own entity and you’re paying too much attention to it. When it’s wearing you [rather] than the other way around.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Beard Trimmers\r\n\tBest Beard Oils at Walmart\r\n\tHow to Treat Razor Nicks and Cuts", "keywords": "How, Grow, Mustache", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/how-to-grow-a-mustache/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763416913.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/how-to-grow-a-mustache.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113851", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The 5 Foods That Kill Your Erection", "title_slug": "the-5-foods-that-kill-your-erection", "title_hash": "9917e8b4e7cc9ad41032a8c80bec72c4", "summary": "Why Diet Might Be the Sneaky Culprit Behind Your Bedroom Performance Problems", "content": "Ask any guy about his performance level in the bedroom and you’ll likely hear a similar answer. Whether closer to fact or fiction, each and every single one would tell you he is an absolute stud between the sheets. And the reason why is certainly no mystery — what man would openly profess his lack of sexual prowess?\r\nWhat a guy is infinitely less likely to admit is that he occasionally deals with bouts of a condition that may or may not affect large segments of the global male population. That condition, erectile dysfunction, has historically proven difficult for experts to put an exact number on (a recent meta-study found prevalence rates ranging anywhere from 3 to 76.5 percent worldwide), but researchers at the University of Wisconsin say mild and moderate cases of ED affect “approximately 10 percent of men per decade of life,” which is to say 20 percent of men in their 20s, 30 percent of men in their 30s, and so on.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Erectile Dysfunction\r\nWhatever the numbers, whatever the prevalence, ED — that is, the inability to either produce or maintain an erection firm enough to do the dirty deed — is something guys simply don’t like talking about. Here’s the thing, though: your erection, or lack thereof, actually has a lot to say about your overall health.\r\nWhile a man’s age typically has something to say about it, the Urology Care Foundation says other causes of ED include high blood sugar, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol, and obesity. So, if your member is not feeling up to the task, that could very well be a sign of a much bigger problem.\r\nIf you’re experiencing symptoms of erectile dysfunction, it could be time to reexamine your diet, which oftentimes is one of the main culprits.\r\n“There’s a significant correlation between our (body mass index) and erections,” says Dr. James Ulchaker, a urologist with the Cleveland Clinic. “High-fat diets can lead to blockages in the coronary arteries, and decrease the size of the iliac and other arteries supplying blood flow to your penis.”\r\nFor that reason, Ulchaker says a heart-healthy diet is also a penile-healthy diet. And if penile health is what you’re after, these are some of the foods you should avoid eating.\r\n\r\n5 Types of Food That Can Be Detrimental to Your Boner\r\n\r\nFrom shrimp to Oreos, you can fry just about anything these days. And while that may sound like a good thing for your taste buds, it doesn’t pan out quite the same when it comes to your Johnson.\r\n\r\nFried food in small doses isn’t the end of the world, but regularly consuming those calories and trans fats will increase the amount of plaque in your circulatory system, which could spell disaster not only for your sexual functioning, but also for your heart.\r\nThe long and short of it? Fried foods lead to weight gain, which can result in both hormonal imbalance and an inability to get your little soldier standing tall (not to mention a litany of other health problems associated with obesity). The next time you’re reaching for a doughnut or craving some French fries, maybe go for a piece of fruit instead?\r\n\r\nAs many a food expert could tell you, there are numerous benefits to eating soy. According to Amy Gorin, a New York City-based dietitian nutritionist, soy products such as tempeh and tofu contain all nine essential amino acids that our bodies are incapable of producing. On top of this, soy has no cholesterol, is low in saturated fats and is a good source of other nutrients, like Vitamin C.\r\nWhat’s the catch? Well, one of soy’s active ingredients — these little buggers called isoflavones — comes packaged with estrogen-like properties, meaning that consuming them can also affect your hormonal balance.\r\nA case study conducted some years back by researchers at Harvard Medical School and the Albert Einstein College of Medicine (yes, that’s a real place) concluded that eating soy is indeed associated with erectile dysfunction. The 19-year-old man involved in that study experienced a “sudden onset of loss of libido and erectile dysfunction after the ingestion of large quantities of soy-based products in a vegan-style diet.”\r\nBut again, all things in moderation, right? As long as you don’t overdo it on edamame or miso soup, you ought to be fine.\r\n\r\nEver hear that phrase, “The whiter the bread, the sooner you’re dead?” It’s a cute way for manufacturers of whole wheat products to sell their stuff, sure, but there’s also quite a bit of truth behind those words.Many grain-based items found on grocery store shelves, white bread included, are made with what are called refined grains, which are essentially pared down whole grains that have been “relieved” of most of their nutritional value. Accordingly, refined grains and products made from them can actually be harmful to your health, as they are excessively starchy, high in gluten, devoid of natural fiber and generally contain lots of chemicals.Why does all of this matter when it comes to your sexual health? Let’s look at the numbers: the average person eats about 100 pounds of commercial bread each year, which is equivalent to your body taking in two pounds of salt, three pounds of sugar and an unhealthy amount of food additives. Higher levels of sodium can result in higher blood pressure, which is definitely not good for your main man below the belt, while an oversupply of sugar has also been linked to ED. Bottom line: you’re better off sticking to those non-refined, unaltered whole grains.\r\nIt shouldn’t come as a surprise that fresh food is healthier for you (and, by extension, your member) than canned food, but the exact reason why may not be so clear. If you’re wondering, it’s because inside nearly every can is a lining that contains a chemical called Bisphenol-A, or BPA.\r\n\r\nWhether BPA causes sexual dysfunction in men or not has long been up for debate, but a study widely reported on in 2009 found that men exposed to high levels of the chemical were four times as likely to report suffering from erectile dysfunction, and seven times as likely to report issues with ejaculation.\r\n\r\nEven if BPA hasn’t been definitively proven to cause ED or other sexual health problems (and it hasn’t), why take that risk? Other than canned foods, the chemical can also be found in many reusable plastic water bottles, as well as other plastic containers. To be safe, look for products labeled “BPA-Free.It may pain you to read these words, but your precious red meat has betrayed you. It’s true: that juicy, two-inch-thick, medium rare steak on your plate is the arch nemesis of your boner. Why, you ask? Well, let’s just say that animal fat and cholesterol are not exactly heart-healthy, and if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll remember that whatever is bad for your heart is also bad for your pecker.\r\n\r\n“High-fat diets and higher cholesterol levels are correlated with ED, which is largely caused by clogs in the small blood vessels,” says Dr. Edmund Sabanegh, president of the Main Campus Hospital of the Cleveland Clinic. “Meats in general are high in fat … (and) processed meats are higher in nitrates, which we believe can also affect the sperm.”\r\n\r\nWe’re not saying you need to boycott red meat entirely, of course, just that cutting back slightly is never a bad call — especially if you’re concerned about ED. Healthier alternatives include lean meats like turkey and chicken, and plant-based sources of protein, such as beans, quinoa and split peas.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tCan Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction? \r\n\tThe Science Behind How Erections Work, Explained\r\n\tHow to Have Better Sex (Tonight)", "keywords": "The, Foods, That, Kill, Your, Erection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt/foods-that-kill-your-erection/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763488858.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt/foods-that-kill-your-erection.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113852", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Women", "title_slug": "best-stocking-stuffer-ideas-for-women", "title_hash": "516c99ab059c13e528d0178818accebb", "summary": "Here are stocking stuffers so impressive, you might not have to get her anything else - but we don't recommend that.", "content": "Shopping for Christmas gifts for women can be a head-scratching, mind-boggling affair. Between trying to decipher hints and/or navigate clothing sizes and current trends, the opportunity for error looms large. But when it comes to stocking stuffers, however, fun is of the essence. \r\nRELATED: Stocking Stuffers for Men\r\nStocking stuffers don’t often substitute for the 'actual present' — think of them more as an opening act to the big show, or the cherry on top of the sundae that is Christmas morning. They provide an opportunity to inflect a little personality and maybe even frivolity into her Christmas gift. No matter if you're shopping for your significant other, your sister, or your mom, a little tchotchke, a piece of jewelry, or a pampering item is sure to be well received.\r\nTo ensure you spend wisely this Christmas, we rounded up a selection of stocking stuffer ideas for women to appeal to all different personalities, interests, and budgets. So without further ado, it’s time to stuff that stocking!\r\n\r\nStocking Stuffer Ideas for Women\r\n\r\nsara happ The Lip Slip One Luxe Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nHelp her rid her lips of winter’s harsh drying effects with this cashmere-soft lip balm. Hydrating and conditioning with oils derived from almonds, macadamias and jojoba seeds, its rich and restorative formula will having her waking up to a renewed and softly plump pout.\r\n$30 at Amazon.com\r\nAromaTech Aromadream Diffuser\r\n\r\n\r\nThis compact diffuser from the specialists at AromaTech can hold up to 60ml of oil, which it can diffuse in rooms as large as 600 square feet. The design is compact and sleek, with whimsical LED lights that add to the aesthetic and enhance the ambience.\r\n$125 at AromaTechScent.com \r\nCharm America Clover Necklace\r\n\r\n\r\nLooking for a great stocking stuffer that'll prove you know just how lucky you are to have her in your life? This 14-karat yellow gold four-leaf clover pendant necklace should do the trick.\r\n$119.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMinute Mimosa Sugar Cube Trio\r\n\r\nDrop one of these flavor-infused sugar cubes into a glass of bubbly and it'll instantly elevate the drink's status — no juice mixers required. You get six sugar cubes of each flavor: Arcadia Orange, Grapefruit, and Lemon. Pair ‘em with some mini bottles of champagne and you've got yourself the simplest Christmas morning mimosas!\r\n$30 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nEdens Garden Worry Less Essential Oil Synergy Blend Roll-On\r\n\r\nThe holiday season (and, you know, these past few years) can bring upon a lot of stress, so you really can’t go wrong with a holiday gift that promotes some all-natural relaxation. This sweet and slightly minty aromatherapy oil is pre-diluted, so it can be safely rolled right onto her wrists for a quick hit of peace and serenity with each inhale. Even better, she's sure to appreciate that it's from an eco-conscious, quality-driven, women-owned brand.\r\n$17.95 at Amazon.com\r\n925 Sterling Silver 18K Gold Plated Huggie Ear Cuffs\r\n\r\nThere's no reason to get a real piercing when you have these stylish, 18K gold-plated ear cuffs. If she's pretty indecisive, it's the perfect gift since it allows her to rock three different dainty options, or stack them together for a bolder look.\r\n$26.99 at Amazon.com\r\nRenoj Exercise Resistance Bands \r\n\r\nResistance bands might not look like much at first glance, but incorporate one into a fitness routine and you’ll see what all the hype is about. This set includes three bands with varying intensity levels so she can adjust her selection to fit the workout. \r\n$20.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCoach Essential Cosmetic Pouch\r\n\r\n\r\nShe might splurge on her everyday bag and luggage, but if she’s yet to give her cosmetic case a luxe upgrade, now’s the time. This one, made with polished pebble leather and a secure zipper closure, will last her years to come.\r\n$95 at Coach.com\r\nPolice Society Recipe Tin\r\n\r\n\r\nWhether she's just learning to cook or she's a seasoned pro, any home chef could use a stylish place to stash their recipes. This beautiful floral tin, for instance, includes 24 recipe cards for her to jot down the details of all her favorite dishes, plus 12 dividers to keep them organized.\r\n$16 at Amazon.com\r\nMystic Mondays Tarot: A Deck for the Modern Mystic\r\n\r\nIf she's been trying to hone her intuition lately, gift her this beautiful tarot deck with vibrantly colored illustrations and eye-catching holographic edges. It also comes with a full-color guidebook to help turn her practice into an even more enjoyable experience.\r\n$24.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTruffleHunter Black Truffle Seasoning\r\n\r\n\r\nIf she's a bit of a self-confessed foodie, help her add that little something extra to her homemade meals with this mini bottle of delectable black truffle seasoning. It has an earthy aroma that's perfect for drizzling on salad, pizza, pasta, veggies... anything that could use a bit of elevation to inspire a more sophisticated palate.\r\n$14.95 at Amazon.com\r\nlululemon Alpaca Wool-Blend Mittens With String\r\n\r\n\r\nIt's cold outside, and it's only going to get colder the closer we get to the New Year, so show the woman in your life that you care by taking care of her hands. These alpaca wool-blend gloves from lululemon are both stylish and cozy, the perfect stocking stuffer for the winter months. \r\n$62 at lululemon.com\r\nZulay Original Handheld Milk Frother\r\n\r\nGift her the ability to make a cafe-quality latte or cappuccino at home with this handheld milk frother. It's perfect for adding that extra, creamy element to hot beverages, and efficiently whisks together matcha lattes and protein powders, too.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAesop Elso Aromatique Hand Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nMade with oil-free hydrating botanicals, this hand balm is ready to save her palms from winter’s harsh embrace – while smelling like cedar, patchouli and clove. \r\nFrom $35 at Aesop.com\r\nBenevolence LA Matchsticks in Apothecary Glass Jar\r\n\r\nIf she appreciates the fine ambiance of a lit candle, why not gift her a stylish place to stash her matches, too? This reusable glass jar arrives pre-filled with 80 long, pine wood matches, and boasts a strike pad on the bottom to help light her fire — quite literally.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Jewelry for Her\r\n\r\nNewward Wine Cool Wine Chiller Stick\r\n\r\nKeep whites chilled and reds at the optimal temperature with this ingenious iceless wine chiller. All she has to do is place it in the freezer for at least two hours, pop it in the bottle, and pour. (Bonus: It simultaneously aerates the wine to maximize its flavor.) And, if the two of your prefer to kick back with some beers instead, there's even a two-pack beer Chillsner from Corkcicle.\r\n$12.99 at Amazon.com\r\nZojirushi Travel Thermos \r\n\r\nEnsure her coffee stays in its tumbler (and not all over her bag) with this top-rated, leakproof travel mug from Zojirushi. Featuring stainless steel vacuum insulation, it maintains a drink's temperature — hot or cold — for hours.\r\nFrom $33.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTriggerPoint Textured Massage Ball\r\n\r\nSmall but mighty, this massage ball will give her body the attention it needs after a day on the slopes or a long week typing away at her desk. Its two-inch diameter is perfect for applying targeted pressure to hands and feet, effectively relieving soreness and tightness.\r\n$13.99 at Amazon.com\r\nL'Occitane Lavender Foaming Bath\r\n\r\nPamper her with a bubble bath that’ll transport her to the lavender fields in Provence. This fragrant and supple bath soap will stimulate the senses and allow her to relax her body as well as her mind.\r\n$42 at Amazon.com\r\nPopSockets\r\n\r\nPhones keep getting bigger and harder to hold onto, but her need for #content won’t be diminished. Help her get a grip on her phone while texting or filming Tik Toks with a pretty Pop Socket.\r\n$34.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Personalized Gifts\r\n\r\nSummer Fridays Jet Lag Face Mask\r\n\r\nDon’t be fooled by the name; this mask isn’t strictly reserved for jetsetters. Rather, anyone feeling like their dull, dry skin could use a hydrating boost will relish in this nourishing, skin-calming, fragrance-free formula.\r\n$35 at Sephora.com\r\nGorjana Power Gemstone Bracelet\r\n\r\n\r\nSimple yet sweet, this gemstone bracelet can easily be worn alone or with other pieces. Choose the gemstone that speaks to her personality to give the stocking stuffer a personalized touch. \r\n$50 at Amazon.com\r\nlululemon Energy Bra\r\n\r\nNo matter if she’s a runner or a yogi, a great sport’s bra is an essential part of a woman’s activewear wardrobe. This one, in particular, is breathable, supportive, sweat-wicking, and available in a variety of fun prints and colors.\r\n$58 at lululemon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Tech Gift Ideas\r\n\r\nRaaka Chocolate Best Sellers Trio Gift Box\r\n\r\nSweet treats are a guaranteed hit in any stocking – as long as they’re good quality, that is. This bestselling trio includes unique flavors like coconut milk dark chocolate, pink sea salt unroasted dark chocolate, and bourbon cask-aged dark chocolate, all made from scratch in Raaka’s Brooklyn factory.\r\n$22.95 at Amazon.com\r\nBan.do GraphitePencils\r\n\r\nThis is the perfect Christmas stocking stuffer for the gal who still enjoys putting pencil to paper. Designed with fun complimentary and motivational phrases — like \"You're Straight-Up Magic\" and \"Yes, You Totally Can\" — they’ll serve as a gentle reminder of just how awesome she is as she journals or takes notes.\r\n$9.95 at Amazon.com\r\nBala Bangles Wearable Weights\r\n\r\nSmall but mighty, this set of weights is ready to take her at-home workouts to the next level. No matter if she’s doing Pilates or HIIT, she can pop the 1-pound weights on her wrists or ankles for some extra resistance.\r\nFrom $55 at Amazon.com\r\nMeUndies Undie Packs\r\n\r\nGive her undergarment drawer a refresh with a pack of super-soft undies from MeUndies. From boxer briefs to thongs, the style options are plentiful.\r\nFrom $29.50 at MeUndies.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Gifts for Music Lovers\r\n\r\nVitamin Berry Facial Tonic\r\n\r\nIn addition to giving the skin a moisture boost, offering exfoliation, and reducing the look of fine lines, this vitamin berry facial tonic feels incredibly refreshing against the skin. Don’t be surprised if she starts spritzing it on throughout the day.\r\n$40 at FarmhouseFreshGoods.com\r\nMoon Juice Brain Dust\r\n\r\nEveryone could use a little boost every now and then, and this adaptogenic dust is the perfect way to do it. It's full of herbs and mushrooms — like ashwagandha and lion's mane — that have been used for centuries to help combat stress, promote concentration, and serve as a mood-booster. \r\n$38 at Amazon.com\r\nKitchenAid Hand Blender\r\n\r\nWhether she enjoys preparing soups or sauces, this handy little gadget will quickly become her go-to in the kitchen. \r\n$69.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tUnique Christmas Gifts\r\n\tBest Christmas Gifts Under $20\r\n\tChristmas Gifts for Your Girlfriend", "keywords": "Best, Stocking, Stuffer, Ideas, for, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gifting/holidays/stocking-stuffers-for-her/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763480144.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gifting/holidays/stocking-stuffers-for-her.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113850", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Signs You're More Emotionally Invested Than Your Partner", "title_slug": "signs-youre-more-emotionally-invested-than-your-partner", "title_hash": "8681253376b1bc475e2805aed16d1b45", "summary": "6 Subtle Signs They Just Don't Care as Much About the Relationship as You Do", "content": "Being in a healthy, balanced relationship can be one of the most fulfilling experiences that life has to offer. \r\nYour feelings are mutual. Your needs are equally prioritized. You approach conflict as a team. You don’t constantly wonder where you stand or why they haven’t reached out in three days because you communicate frequently and transparently. \r\nMost of all, you feel loved and cared for. \r\nIf reading this makes you feel a little uneasy about the state of your current relationship, it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to break up. But it’s important to understand whether you’re more emotionally invested than your partner to address any issues head-on. \r\nRELATED: How to Respectfully Disagree With Your Partner \r\nHere are six subtle signs that you’re showing up more fully than your significant other, according to mental health professionals. \r\n1. They Don’t Automatically Consider You in Their Plans\r\nMaybe your partner hasn’t done something as obviously concerning as booking a trip with friends during your birthday weekend. But they still don’t consider you in their plans when you hear them talk about the future. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Your Future Together \r\nIt can be as big as discussing relocation without any mention of you or your relationship, or as small as booking a weekend trip without checking in with you first. \r\nWhen your partner doesn’t incorporate your needs and wants into future plans, it can be a sign that you’re not as big of a priority to them, according to LCSW Brooke Pomerantz. \r\n“When your partner lives their life in a way that is more aligned with being single and unpartnered than part of a unit, it suggests that they have not internalized or prioritized your needs and wants as a couple,” says Pomerantz. \r\n2. They Lack Empathy for What You’re Feeling \r\nIt’s impossible to always be perfectly attuned to each other. But ideally, you feel empathized with on a regular basis, especially if you’re going through a stressful week at work or your pet needs surgery. \r\nIf you feel like your partner doesn’t even notice when you’re going through challenges or rarely asks questions about what’s going on with you, it can be a sign that they’re more focused on their own needs than yours, according to Pomerantz. \r\n3. You’re Often Analyzing Them \r\nAre you often analyzing your partner’s behavior? Kaitlyn Steel, LMFT at Keystone Therapy Group, says that it can be a sign that you’re doing all the emotional labor in the relationship. \r\nIt can look like saying “I think you snap at our kids so much because it’s bringing up things from your childhood” or “You tend to fight back for a few minutes and then you just shut down and won’t engage with me when things get tense between us.” \r\nThat kind of emotional work can become exhausting, says Steel, who adds that it also creates a lot of room for misinterpretation and can leave your partner feeling “less than” because they don’t know how to do the emotional work for themselves. \r\nBesides, if you don’t take a step back, your partner has no incentive to learn how to carry their share of the work. \r\n4. They Avoid Vulnerable Conversations \r\nAvoiding vulnerable conversations can be another red flag, according to Pomerantz. \r\nIf your partner is unable or unwilling to share their thoughts and feelings on a regular basis, it means that they’re not contributing to one of the most crucial elements of a healthy relationship: honest communication. \r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability \r\nOver time, this lack of sharing creates distance between you, sabotages intimacy and leaves you feeling lonely even though you’re coupled up. \r\n5. They Get Defensive When You Share Feelings and Thoughts \r\nWhat happens when you open up is also telling. \r\nIf they “minimize, get defensive or gaslight,” it can signal a lack of emotional investment on their end, says Steel, especially if they never end up following up about what you shared and taking ownership for their actions. \r\n“If only one person is willing to engage, you will eventually burn out,” she notes. “Imagine throwing a tennis ball at a brick wall with all your force over and over again. Eventually, you will get tired, you will stop throwing as hard, and you may even give up.” \r\n6. You Try to Encourage Growth But They Don’t Seem Into It \r\nYou want to grow as a couple. You bring up ways to improve the relationship, like having a phone-free date night once a week, reading a relationship book or even going to couples therapy. Your partner may go along with it, but they don’t seem genuinely engaged. \r\n“Or they want you to read the book or listen to the podcast and then ask you to ‘tell them about it’ but when you do, they don’t actively engage with what you share,” adds Steel. If you recognize yourself in this scenario, you may be in an imbalanced relationship, as your desire to invest in positive change is met with minimal commitment. \r\nRELATED: Warning Signs You're About to Break Up \r\nRealizing that you’re putting more heart in the relationship than your partner can be disheartening. It doesn’t mean that your partner is a bad person or doesn’t care about you, but it’s OK to want more. \r\nAs Pomerantz puts it, “being in a balanced relationship in which both individuals are emotionally invested requires a consistent and ongoing commitment to considering the needs and wants of your partner and the health of your relationship as a whole.” \r\nEvery relationship has imbalances at times, but the question to ask yourself is whether you can get to that place as a couple – or whether it’s time to move on. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHabits to Prevent Divorce Later in LifeCommon Phrases That Cheaters UseHabits That Erode Trust in Relationships", "keywords": "Signs, Youre, More, Emotionally, Invested, Than, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/signs-youre-more-emotionally-invested-than-your-partner/askmen-lead-image-2x1-56-1763499065.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/signs-youre-more-emotionally-invested-than-your-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 07:07:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113641", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Am I Right to Do a DNA Test Because My Wife Cheated Before?", "title_slug": "am-i-right-to-do-a-dna-test-because-my-wife-cheated-before", "title_hash": "96f30f95ca2f60a3655e1a559ae2c41c", "summary": "Three days ago, my guy, my friend, came to see me. His girlfriend had caught him red-handed with another woman. He was explaining everything to me. My wife was sitting …", "content": "

Three days ago, my guy, my friend, came to see me. His girlfriend had caught him red-handed with another woman. He was explaining everything to me. My wife was sitting right there, so she heard the whole story, the whole show.

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As soon as my friend left, my wife opened her mouth. She said if that girl forgives my friend and stays with him, then she is a fool. A big fool! A complete fool!

She talked and talked and even added “chai”. At one point, she was even pressuring me to call the girl and convince her to break up with my friend.

She was saying, “How can she allow a cheating man to marry her? He will never change!”

Me, I just kept quiet. My mind was not at rest. I was just there regretting.

Because…

Before we married, this same wife, when she was my girlfriend, cheated on me, but I forgave her. A year later, we married.

So, by her own mouth, does it mean I was a fool to have forgiven her. This thing is paining me too much. Since that day, I haven’t been talking to her.

The part that hurts the most? She keeps asking me, “Why are you giving me attitude because of your friend’s problem?”

So she has forgotten what she did to me? Has she wiped it from her memory?

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

To be honest, my brother, my heart is broken. I have lost all interest in this marriage.

I want to walk away. But before I do that, I must do one thing.

I want to conduct a DNA test on our child. Am I right to do this?

—Mark

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Right, DNA, Test, Because, Wife, Cheated, Before", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/4631.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/am-i-right-to-do-a-dna-test-because-my-wife-cheated-before/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-19 06:57:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "113640", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Chose School Over Love And Now I’m Lonely", "title_slug": "i-chose-school-over-love-and-now-im-lonely", "title_hash": "44ee84ba343c7001e948b4d6cc5ccdfb", "summary": "I am at a place in my life where I want to get married. Loneliness is beginning to make me regret turning down the man who wanted to marry me …", "content": "

I am at a place in my life where I want to get married. Loneliness is beginning to make me regret turning down the man who wanted to marry me when I was in school. I have a boyfriend but it is Emil I think about when I envision myself with a husband and children. Now, I want everything he wanted from me but it seems it’s too late. He has moved on, but I am still here pining for him.

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I know he has been patient with me. He held out hope that I would choose him right from the moment we met in 2022. At the time, I was working in a hardware retail shop to save money for university. He came to buy something from the shop and we became friends.

He was always present for me. Although we were just friends he would stay with me at the hospital whenever I was sick, until I got better and was discharged. The first time he proposed that we take our friendship to a romantic level, I turned him down. I told him, “I don’t know if I gave you the wrong impression but I already have a boyfriend.” That didn’t discourage him. He stuck around and hoped I would change my mind.

When I got a scholarship to study midwifery outside the capital city, Emil wasn’t happy about it. He wanted me to stay with him and build a family, not leave for school. I didn’t mind him. I still went ahead with my education.

While I was away at school, the guy I was calling my boyfriend stopped calling me. That was when I accepted Emil as my boyfriend. We dated for two months long-distance. He supported me financially but he didn’t like that I was in school. Quite often, he pressured me to leave school and come back to him in the city. My refusal led to our first breakup.

We met again in 2024 when I returned home for holidays. We picked up from where we left off, dated again, and everything felt good. He had improved so much. He had an excellent job, and was more stable. It rekindled my love for him. He loved me too. He visited my home, and my mum and everyone knew him.

As I prepared to go back for my final year, he asked me to get pregnant for him. He said I didn’t have to go to school because he would take care of me and my family. Honestly, I knew he could. But that was not the life I wanted. I wanted my own career, my own money, and my independence. When I explained this to him he left me again.

I returned to school, but I felt like I had made a huge mistake choosing school over a man I truly loved. I have never loved anyone as deeply as I loved him. We never ran out of things to talk about. We were perfect together.

Towards my final exams, he happened to come to the town where I was doing my fieldwork. Although we were broken up, we met and spent some quality time together before he left again.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

I graduated, came back home, and got a good job that earns me decent money. I have gotten everything I want. Nonetheless, I feel lonely. I’m currently dating someone else, yet my mind goes back to Emil. I know he has moved on, but I can’t stop thinking about him.

I’m 23 years old now. I really want to get married and settle down. I want to focus on my boyfriend so that we can make it happen. I’ve tried everything, but it’s still Emil I see.

—Esther

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

\n#SB

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I’m not in a hurry to enter a relationship, but I won’t lie, I’m beginning to feel lonely at times. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I’m still pursuing my degree. I’m also a mother who is doing all the parenting alone. It hasn’t been a walk in the park but God has been faithful. Whenever I felt like all hope is lost, things always got better.

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I am not the kind of woman people call beautiful outright. They get to know me better before they say I am beautiful. So I have often said that I am not so beautiful but I am beautiful in my own way. When it comes to men, I have never felt inadequate. I get lots of attention from them. Some I entertain, others I ignore completely.

I think the reason I can’t hold any serious relationship is because I grew up in a broken home. Somehow that experience shaped my mindset when it comes to relationships with men. For years, I never believed in marriage or relationships. I thought love and stability were simply not meant for someone like me.

However, as I grew older I realized that life works differently for everyone. What looks impossible in one family blooms beautifully in another. So I opened my mind to the possibility that I, too, could experience a healthy relationship someday.

My first relationship happened in 2019 when I met a guy who caught my interest. We had a little attachment, nothing too deep, but one thing led to another and I found myself pregnant. He didn’t deny the pregnancy, but he also didn’t take responsibility beyond acknowledging that the child was his.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t have been responsible if he was determined to be. He was a smart young man who was full of potential, but extremely lazy and unambitious. He wanted the perfect opportunity to fall into his lap without any effort. He didn’t like to hustle. He refused to build anything from scratch.

I talked to him several times, hoping he would change, but he didn’t. We argued until I got tired and walked away from him. Lack of ambition is a huge red flag for me. I value peace of mind, and being with someone who wasn’t willing to work or improve his life drained me mentally and emotionally.

Although I didn’t love him, I liked him enough to try. I’ve never truly understood what being in love feels like. I always tell myself that if there’s physical attraction and the man ticks most of my boxes, we can work things out. I am willing to learn someone and grow together. But the relationship ended long before I gave birth.

Now my son is 5 years old. I’ve gone back to school to pursue my degree, and even though his father is not involved at all—no child support, nothing—I don’t complain. My family has been incredibly supportive, and I am grateful.

However, I don’t seem to have patience for men. I don’t know why. It’s like my spirit withdraws from them, and once that happens, the connection is gone. Even when I try to force myself to continue talking to someone, it never ends well. I emotionally disconnect instantly.

Since my son’s father, I didn’t date anyone until this year, 2025. I tried talking to four different men, but not a single one made it past the talking stage. I would get close, feel something was off, and then I’d ghost them without drama. Every time, I find something that kills my interest: a comment, a behavior, a habit, their communication pattern—anything. And once that switch goes off in me, there’s no turning back.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

It’s beginning to worry me. I want to date again. I want to meet a good man. They do come my way; the problem is me. I don’t understand why I can’t choose someone or allow myself to settle. Maybe there’s something I am doing wrong that I can’t pinpoint. Maybe my past has built a wall around me.

I don’t know if anyone has experienced something similar or knows someone who has. I don’t know how to break this cycle. I want love, but something keeps holding me back. And I don’t know how to fix it.

—Everlie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

\n#SB

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Before I married Ebo, I had a daughter, a beautiful, innocent, cheerful little girl who was just five when Ebo entered my life. Her father and I weren’t together anymore, but he was still very involved in her life. He called to talk to her. He sent money. He bought gifts. He picked her up for weekends. He was simply being a father. But Ebo didn’t like that. He questioned everything my ex did even the little things involving my daughter;

“Why is he calling you at night?”
\n“Why must you meet him to collect things?”
\n“Why is he still coming around?”

He asked and asked until I felt guilty for allowing my own child’s father to be present. We argued about it so many times that finally, for peace, I said, “Okay. Let me set boundaries.” I spoke to my ex, and luckily, he understood. He agreed to reduce the calls. He sent money through bank transfers. He sent items through dispatch riders. When he wanted to pick our daughter, I would send her to my mother’s house so he would collect her from there, just so Ebo wouldn’t feel threatened.

I changed my entire co-parenting structure for Ebo and that was when he finally said yes to marrying me. Sometimes I look back and wonder if that was the first warning sign.

Our wedding was beautiful or at least, it looked beautiful in photos. I walked into that marriage believing I had chosen a good man. A man who wanted me. A man who wanted my daughter and a man who wanted peace. But it didn’t take long to realize something painful: Ebo wanted control and not partnership. The moment we got married, everything changed. I started seeing things I never saw when we were dating or maybe I saw them, but I didn’t understand them then.

Ebo had two children with another woman, Mavis. Before we married, he acted like he wasn’t close to her. He made me believe his kids were the only connection and that he understood boundaries. He acted like he wanted the same peace he demanded from me. But after marriage, he threw every boundary out of the window. He called Mavis anytime he wanted; morning, afternoon, night. She called him anytime she wanted, even at midnight, even when we were lying in bed and I was beside him.

I would ask, “Why is she calling this late?” He would reply coldly, “She’s the mother of my kids. Are you jealous?” Meanwhile, I had cut ties with my ex just to make him feel secure. He would sleep out because “the kids needed him.” He would spend whole weekends away because “the kids wanted time.” Sometimes he even took the kids and Mavis to the pool, to events, to outings together. A whole family outing with me replaced.

I asked, gently, respectfully, “Ebo, you made rules for me. Why aren’t you following the same rules for yourself?”

His response was a slap to my heart. “You are a woman; I am a man. It is easier for your ex to sleep with you than it is for me to sleep with Mavis.” I stood there wondering if marriage had two sets of commandments, one for the husband and one for the wife. The night everything broke was the night that still haunts me till today.

We were in bed. It was around 8pm. Mavis called. She said one of the kids wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t an emergency. No fever. No crisis. Just “not feeling well.” Before I could even ask what was wrong, Ebo had jumped up, worn his shirt, and was heading to the door.

“Ebo, is it serious?”
\n“We’ll see,” he replied.

He left. He didn’t come back that night and didn’t answer my calls and also didn’t reply to my messages. My heart was pounding, my mind spinning. I didn’t sleep. I stayed awake wondering what kind of marriage I had entered. The next morning, he returned claiming they had taken the child to the hospital. I asked for the hospital name. He couldn’t give it. I asked for the medical receipt. He couldn’t provide it. I reminded him that his company reimburses hospital fees so he would have collected it. Still, nothing.

Eventually, with pressure, he confessed that he spent the night in Mavis’ house. He said he slept in the same room as the children. “The child slept on me and wouldn’t allow me to leave,” he said, “I didn’t even remove my clothes all night. I slept in my jeans and T-shirt.”

The lies were too many, too thick, too insulting. In that moment, I felt myself break in places I didn’t know were breakable. Part of me wanted to be angry. Another part wanted to scream but a bigger part of me felt something worse: I felt foolish. Foolish for believing him. Foolish for bending over backwards for a man who refused to bend an inch for me. Foolish for sacrificing my daughter’s connection with her father because he felt threatened only for him to do worse with his ex.

I confronted Mavis, woman to woman, something I shouldn’t have done but I was desperate for change. She looked me in the face and said, “I’m not the one you should talk to. Talk to your husband.” And she was right. The betrayal wasn’t hers. It was Ebo’s. His insecurity and double standards, his need to control me while giving himself full freedom. His dishonesty and disrespect. All of it was sitting on my chest like a heavy stone.

We’ve been married just a little over a year. Everyone says it’s too early to leave. Everyone says marriage requires endurance. My family says I should pray, beg, adjust, shrink, do something, anything, to keep the home. Nobody talks about me or my peace or my child. Marrying him feels like slow emotional suicide. Sometimes when he’s away and I call and hear the voices of the kids in the background, I cry quietly asking God: Is this all there is in this marriage for me? Is this what marriage is supposed to feel like?”

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

\nI want the marriage to work. I want to raise a family that looks at the sun and smile and dream. I want peace and stability. I want my husband to be my husband and not feel like I’m sharing him. But Ebo’s actions are telling me something his words never will: He is not willing to choose me and every day when I stay I’m choosing pain. So I sit here now, asking, not out of anger, but out of exhaustion, is it too early to leave? Will staying only break me deeper than I already am?

Because right now, my heart is torn between saving a marriage and saving myself.

—Cynthia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I met you back in SHS 2, somewhere in 2015, during an interschool competition at Persco. You were in SHS 1 then; you were radiant and so full of laughter and effortlessly beautiful. From that moment, something in me changed, in a good way. You had this calm energy, this glow that made everything around you seem softer, brighter. I didn’t know it then, but meeting you would become one of the most unforgettable moments of my life.

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We started as friends, innocent, curious, and genuine. We wrote letters filled with young dreams, secrets, and emotions too deep for our age. Each letter felt like a heartbeat on paper. You quickly became my everything, Selassie. My first real love. The one who made me understand what it means to truly care for someone beyond words.

Back then, love was pure. It wasn’t about what we had, but what we felt. I was always looking for new ways to show you how much you meant to me. Every vacation was a reason to smile, every call was something I waited for all week, and every time I saw you, the world felt right again amidst all the evil. I remember sneaking out of school just to visit you. I’d walk for miles with a small gift in hand, all just to see that smile of yours that could melt every worry away. Back then, it never felt wrong.

There was one day I’ll never forget; I was sacked for trying to see you. I had brought an envelope full of cash as a surprise gift. I handed it to a lady passing by, asking her to deliver it to you, but I never knew if she did. I never even asked her name. That was how far my heart could go for you, not out of obsession, but out of pure, selfless love.

You told me once you weren’t ready for a committed relationship, and I understood. I never forced it. I simply held on quietly because you were worth waiting for. Your intelligence, your sense of humour, your strength – everything about you inspired me. I even considered becoming a Sabbath observer because I wanted to walk your path, to become the kind of man who could fit into your world. That’s how deep my love for you ran.

After school, we kept in touch for a while. Life began pulling us in different directions, and though time passed, something in me refused to move on completely. My heart stayed where it met yours. I still miss you, Selassie. I really do. You were the best part of my story, the chapter I never wanted to end.

Do you remember the novels we shared? The random calls that came out of nowhere, yet always came right when I needed to hear your voice? The laughter that lingered long after we said goodbye? I remember it all. The memories never faded; they only grew softer, like an old song I never stopped humming. Your name is still my password, a secret I carry quietly. I still keep the hymn book you gave me — a piece of you I’ve never been able to let go of.

I often find myself wondering how you are. How life has been treating you. Are you happy? Are you where you hoped to be? Have you found someone who cherishes you the way you deserve? I ask myself these questions not out of jealousy, but out of genuine care. If you ever needed anything, anything at all, I’d still be there without a second thought.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

To be honest, love hasn’t been gentle with me. I’ve met people who saw my kindness as weakness, who came only to take without giving, who made me doubt the worth of my own heart. But through it all, my mind always drifts back to you, to the girl who made me believe that love could be innocent, patient, and real.

If you’ve moved on, I’ll understand. Life goes on, and people change. But I’ll always be thankful that I met you. You were the light that taught me how to love without fear, without expectation. And if fate ever lets our paths cross again, I promise I won’t hesitate this time. I’ll look into your eyes and tell you what I’ve carried all these years: that I never stopped loving you.

Forever yours..

—Junior

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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In this episode of Boom! Lawyered, Imani has the week off, so Jess is joined by President and CEO of Democracy Forward Skye Perryman to talk about fighting the Trump administration in court and how building community is the antidote to authoritarian rule.

Transcript (coming soon!)

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post Fighting Back During Trump’s Most Chaotic Era (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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When Samira was still in the throes of postpartum depression seven months after giving birth, she turned to ChatGPT for advice.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Her mom and friends in the Bay Area had told Samira, 34, that her misery was normal. Samira, who asked to use a pseudonym for privacy, started opening up to the computer about her marriage of five years, writing that her husband didn’t value her labor as a stay-at-home mom.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

ChatGPT told her she should be treated better.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I had no idea that my husband [was] playing mental chess with me,” she told Rewire News Group. ChatGPT, Samira said, helped her see “this is literally a manipulative line of reasoning.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

She also told ChatGPT she’d found secret bank accounts that she believed her husband used for gambling. Soon after, OpenAI’s chatbot suggested it was time to make her move.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“This is financial abuse,” it said, according to Samira. “You need to get out.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Samira’s mother disagreed, saying Samira’s marriage had been blessed by the Pakistani Muslim community. Samira plans on filing for divorce anyway.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I feel so grateful for her … being a hand on my shoulder when I really need one,” Samira said of the AI chatbot.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

New generative artificial intelligence tools like OpenAI’s ChatGPT, Google Gemini, and Anthropic’s Claude have been roundly criticized for their environmental impact, uncompensated use of writers’ work, and links to suicide deaths.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

These criticisms, like lurid tales of women abandoning their marriages for AI boyfriends, make for good headlines. But there is a potentially positive and much less documented use for AI: Women, both cisgender and trans, are employing chatbots to analyze their relationships for abuse and incompatibility—and are finding actionable advice.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Can AI do marriage counseling?

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It’s unclear just how many women nationwide are using AI to work through tough relationships.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

One AI bot, AimeeSays, was designed to help people navigate and safely extricate themselves from abusive relationships. Launched in 2023, it has 40,000 users; roughly 90 percent of them are women, AimeeSays Co-Founder and CEO Anne Wintemut told Rewire News Group.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I gave a voice to 40,000 other people because I didn’t have one,” Wintemute said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

AimeeSays doesn’t train their models based on chat conversations with users. But when the company surveyed past users of the platform, Wintemute said it found that about 46 percent of respondents had already left their relationship when they started using AimeeSays. Just under 20 percent were questioning the health of an active relationship and almost 16 percent said they knew their partner was abusive.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The demand for AI relationship support exists. Whether AI offers the best marriage counseling is another matter.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

West Virginia University sociology professor Walter DeKeseredy, who is an expert in domestic violence, believes AI should not be seen as a resource for people who need extrication from a violent relationship.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“What women need is a victim’s advocate,” he told RNG. “People who work for rape crisis centers and battered women’s organizations, that’s who they should be reaching out to,” DeKeseredy said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“[These organizations] would provide survivors with advice about economic assistance [and] housing,” DeKeseredy added.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Ying Zhang, an assistant professor of psychology at Clarkston University, has studied ChatGPT’s reliability when it comes to detecting intimate partner violence. She and her research team input 500 posts about domestic violence from two online forums: the Britain-based Women’s Aid Survivors Forum for abuse survivors and WEAVE, a U.S. organization that supports victims of domestic violence and sex trafficking.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Zhang chose these forums because they were public and anonymous, and anyone could post without providing personal, identifying information. ChatGPT correctly identified intimate partner violence in the posts 91 percent of the time.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The team also uploaded 80 posts from people in difficult but non-abusive relationships, described as “family tension.” The AI correctly identified those situations as non-violent about 91 percent of the time.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I didn’t expect that it would perform this well, to be honest,” Zhang said. “I felt like, from my academic training, if you want to build an [intimate partner violence] identifier that you have to … [have] human coding.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

ChatGPT 3.5, an older version used by Zhang, did have some blind spots. It failed to identify some cases of physical violence “that were either infrequent or occurred in past relationships,” Zhang wrote in a March 2025 peer-reviewed journal article about the study.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The article reveals a key limitation to ChatGPT as a marriage counselor: The domestic violence must be described in ways the bot can accurately parse.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

AI divorce

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

When Kylie Ochoa, 47, began using AimeeSays in August 2024, she suspected that things between her and her husband had become toxic. Recently, she said, he had yelled at her at a conference for hackers, a community they both belong to. The incident prompted another attendee to post his concerns about her welfare on X.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Ochoa and her husband had separated briefly multiple times over their 13 years of marriage, but she had her reasons for staying in the relationship—namely their two young children and her immigration status as a temporary green card holder.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

But the incident at the hacker event was the tipping point that got her to use a chatbot to confirm the abuse.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

As a member of the hacker group Anonymous, famous for their ideologically-based cyberattacks, Ochoa is a tech-forward person. She turned to AI. Ochoa also had a lot of information she wanted to analyze—at least a decade’s worth of critical and even explosive text messages—and AI excels at culling through large data sets.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Ochoa told AimeeSays that her husband accused her of being a bad parent and allegedly threw her down the stairs. The chatbot assessed Ochoa’s claims, and pulled examples of abuse from the messages she provided it.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Rewire News Group has reviewed images of injuries consistent with Ochoa’s description of domestic abuse, as well as testimony from a neighbor who reported witnessing such violence in their household, but cannot independently verify the alleged abuse.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Aimee was like talking to a friend that was always there and was supportive and not judgmental,” Ochoa said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Ochoa and her husband are now getting a divorce. She is currently couch surfing in Los Vegas and can’t afford a lawyer, so she’s been using ChatGPT to help her with the paperwork. She hopes AI will help her get shared custody of the kids back.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“It’s making me feel like there is hope,” Ochoa said. “I know it’s a robot … [but] it makes you feel loved.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

‘Very warm and supportive’

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

After 23 years and three children, Crystal, a 42-year-old mom from central Texas, still considered her husband her soulmate, but his name-calling and controlling behavior made her contemplate divorce.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In July 2025, Crystal turned to ChatGPT, wondering if she was overreacting.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I honestly thought this is how husbands were, and so I just wanted to gauge my feelings in an unbiased way,” she said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Crystal, who also asked that RNG not use her real name for privacy reasons, told ChatGPT her husband dictated who she hung out with, what she wore, and where she worked.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

One example she cited: The couple was taking their son to a pet store on his 18th birthday, and her husband insisted she change clothes because her sleeveless dress would be “a distraction.” She put on his extra-large T-shirt and jeans.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

At the pet store, Crystal bent to look at a bearded dragon on a low shelf. When they got home, her husband claimed she had done so to be seductive. He wagged his butt at her, and she pushed him away.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I ended up with a black eye,” she said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Crystal said she was honest with the platform. She said she shared incidents where she contributed to conflict, too—for example, admitting to feeling hurt when she found out he was watching porn.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Crystal also said she told ChatGPT about a time she said her husband drunkenly grabbed her by the neck and threw her onto the floor.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“The way he’s responding to your pain is an abusive pattern,” ChatGPT said, according to Crystal.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The chatbot responded to her in a way that was “very warm and supportive,” Crystal said, and assured her she would get through the ordeal.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Although it’s AI, it does feel like you’re actually talking to a person,” Crystal said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Don’t blame the victim

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Zhang’s research found that ChatGPT validated people’s feelings and responded with “encouragement and reassurance, as well as informational support including safety planning.” That can’t always be said about friends, family, and therapists.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“People ask, ‘Why didn’t you leave?’” Zhang said. “That’s a victim-blaming sentence, but that’s the question a lot of people have.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Like Ochoa, Crystal had documented interactions with her husband—in this case, she recorded their conversations—and uploaded them to ChatGPT for analysis. It pointed out abusive patterns.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Sometimes I feel like, maybe I’m just crazy,” she said, adding, ”And every time [it confirms] I am in an emotionally abusive relationship, and that he is likely to not ever change.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Crystal filed for divorce in mid-2025, a month after consulting ChatGPT the first time. The bot is now helping her fill out the paperwork.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Find a family lawyer

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Not all people turning to ChatGPT for relationship advice are in abusive partnerships. Sophia, 47, needed help coming out as trans to her wife.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I was very devout Mormon,” said Sophia, who asked that RNG use only her first name because she didn’t want her comments to affect her divorce proceedings. “I repressed [my trans identity] for decades.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In August 2024, Sophia’s doctor told her that she may have prostate cancer. If so, estrogen could be part of the treatment, and learning this changed something for Sophia. Estrogen felt like the answer to more than just her cancer.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

She turned to ChatGPT, telling it that she felt a painful sense of dysphoria and needed help processing her thoughts.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The bot quickly offered some ideas for embracing her new identity as a woman. One was to speak her new name out loud while looking in the mirror. She didn’t have one, so she asked ChatGPT for a Greek Orthodox Saint name, and it came up with Sophia.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Soon after she realized that she was trans, she asked ChatGPT what would happen if she came out to her wife.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“Won’t she take the kids?” she asked ChatGPT. “And it told me, legally, she can’t just take the kids and disappear.”

\r\n\r\n

ChatGPT also told her to find a family lawyer.

\r\n

She asked ChatGPT to help her write a letter.

\r\n

“I prepared [for] all eventualities,” Sophia said. “I thought she would be angry, or she’d be sad and start crying, that she would just, you know, go into shock.”

\r\n

When she finally came out on Feb. 15, 2025, she couldn’t get halfway through the letter before her wife said she wasn’t transgender, stormed out of the room, gathered the kids, and spent the night at her parent’s house, according to Sophia.

\r\n

“ChatGPT didn’t prepare me for that,” Sophia said.

\r\n\r\n

Still, she held out hope that the marriage could work. Her wife, seemingly, did not.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“[My wife] would say that trans people are the biggest narcissists and we only think about ourselves,” Sophia said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In April 2025, her prostate cancer diagnosis was confirmed. Sophia began treatment, had surgery, and has since moved to Virginia to start a new job. This past August, she and her wife decided to divorce.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Sophia also came out to her kids, and she asked ChatGPT to write a script for that conversation, too.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Her four children, aged 7 to 13 years old, took the news well.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

‘A bubble of self-validation’

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

When Rachel, 39, first used ChatGPT, she found it fawning and overly yielding.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“No matter what I said, ChatGPT would agree with me,” said Rachel, who is using her first name only for privacy.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

This made her reluctant to turn to it with her marital troubles. Plus, Rachel’s relationship with her husband “wasn’t toxic in the obvious ways,” she wrote in an email to RNG. “We got along well, didn’t argue, and generally respected each other.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Yet he wasn’t the partner she wanted.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“He’d never come to my friend group BBQs … He’d never come with me hiking, wouldn’t try new restaurants with me,” she wrote.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

He wouldn’t ask her questions, and when she’d tell him how her day went, he’d quickly cut her off.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“He gradually became more and more emotionally distant. He’d come home from work and start watching TV right away until he went to bed,” she wrote. “It got to the point … where my friends knew me better than my own husband.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

About three years after her marriage began going downhill, she turned to ChatGPT.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“I vented to ChatGPT about my frustrations in my marriage from a biased point of view,” she told me. For example, she would prompt it with, “Can you believe what this jerk said!?”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The machine, unsurprisingly, “leaned into this idea that I was right about everything … It was like a bubble of self-validation,” Rachel wrote.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

ChatGPT is programmed to be affirming. When it comes to relationship advice, this can be a major flaw. ChatGPT told Rachel to get a divorce.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Recognizing that her inputs had skewed ChatGPT’s analysis, Rachel added information about her husband’s positive traits—but, she said, “the output was the same.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

So she turned to a licensed counselor, who confirmed to Rachel that ChatGPT’s assessment was in fact correct: She was in an unhealthy relationship.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

OpenAI recently said it has tweaked the newer versions of ChatGPT to be less agreeable. AimeeSays, for its part, has been tested using messages from healthy relationships to make sure it doesn’t incorrectly classify healthy messages as abusive.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Listening to AI’s gut

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

AI can point those people to resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is free and open 24/7, and websites that list nearby domestic violence shelters.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

In this sense, AimeeSays is, among the bots I’ve assessed, best equipped to the task. Because the tool is tailored to the needs of domestic violence victims, it is programmed with information that victim advocates typically share.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

For example, AimmeSays doesn’t recommend that users contact child protective services because those agencies have a documented history of “causing increased harm to families where domestic violence is present, especially families of color,” Wintemute said.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If a woman does turn to ChatGPT for help, DeKeseredy, the domestic abuse expert, advises that she do so at a public library—not at home, where her abuser may well be monitoring her devices.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Zhang, the researcher, agrees that ChatGPT is no substitute for human intervention. But, Zhang said, it “helps people make sense of the relationship when … their gut feeling is off.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Rachel, for her part, is happy with her decision to consult ChatGPT. Her divorce was finalized in September.

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

“ChatGPT,” she said, “reaffirmed what I already felt in my gut.”

\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential assistance 24/7 online or via phone at 1-800-799-7233.

\r\n\r\n\r\n

The post Artificial Intelligence Told These Women To Divorce Their Abusive Husbands appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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At 3:30 on a July morning, Emily Meyers’ water broke. Her son was coming five weeks early. Meyers and her husband jumped in the car and raced from their home in Greenville, California, population 387, to Reno, Nevada where they had planned to deliver. It was a two-hour drive along mostly narrow, two-lane highways shared with logging trucks.

They didn’t make it in time. Their son, Grant, was born in the car 13 minutes from the hospital to two stunned parents.

Along the way they had passed two other hospitals—Plumas District Hospital in Quincy, California and Eastern Plumas Health Care in Portola, California—neither of which have maternity wards. Meyers’ husband had asked if she wanted to stop at either one, but she told him to keep driving.

“At that point I didn’t know how intense things were going to be,” Meyers said. “I didn’t feel like I could stop in the little towns if something was wrong.”

Meyers’ frantic experience exemplifies the challenges that have become commonplace for pregnant patients in rural California: Dozens of hospitals have stopped delivering babies across the state, leaving many families with no option other than to drive for hours and hope for the best.

But in the remote Sierra Nevada community where Meyers lives, hospital executives have a plan to change things.

Plumas District Hospital, one of the hospitals Meyers sped past during labor, closed its maternity ward in 2022 after costs grew and birth rates declined. This year, it helped pass two state laws that give rural hospitals the ability to reimagine birth services.

One of the laws, authored by Senate President Pro Tem Mike McGuire, creates a 10-year pilot program allowing hospitals such as Plumas District Hospital to create “standby” maternity units that operate only when needed, rather than offering standard 24/7 service.

The unit must have the ability to do surgical deliveries, blood transfusions, resuscitation and life-support measures. The California Department of Public Health will monitor and evaluate safety outcomes with the new model.

A related law relaxes some of the licensing requirements for birth centers, which are typically run by midwives and accept low-risk pregnancies.

“Expecting moms and their families in rural California deserve better,” said McGuire, a Democrat from Santa Rosa whose district stretches north to the Oregon border, in a statement to CalMatters.

Dr. Robert Moore, chief medical officer for Partnership HealthPlan, a health insurer that covers the state’s northernmost counties, said it’s not realistic for some rural hospitals to offer maternity care 24 hours a day. The numerous closures prove that. Emergency maternity services are better than none at all, he added.

“It’s not acceptable for someone to travel two hours to the nearest hospital. The outcomes are not worth it,” Moore said. “We owe it to the rural areas of the state to fix it.”

A new birth center for Plumas County

Next year, as a result of the legislation, Plumas District Hospital plans to open a birth center and standby maternity ward. Women who qualify and do not want an epidural will be able to give birth locally. The hospital’s on-call obstetrics team will be available to take transfers from the birth center should any complications arise that require a doctor.

Darren Beatty, chief operating and government affairs officer for the hospital, said maternity care is part of what makes a rural community vibrant, and it’s why facility leadership pushed hard to change state law over the past few years.

“We’re experiencing multiple threats in and outside of health care to maintain[ing] a rural lifestyle,” Beatty said. “We need to do our part so that Quincy, [California] can be an outlier and not continue to shrink and go away like many rural communities have.”

Nearly 60 hospitals have stopped labor and delivery services since 2012 in rural and urban areas alike, according to a CalMatters database. But in rural areas, when a hospital stops delivering babies, it is often the last option left to a community. The closest hospitals to Plumas with maternity wards are a 70-mile drive north to Susanville or south to Truckee through winding mountain roads. Many families, like the Meyers family, choose to go east to Nevada where the hospitals are farther but larger.

The Plumas District Hospital chose to open a birth center because families in the county want something different: Home births have trended upward since 2020.

A community midwife delivered more babies at people’s homes in 2022 than the hospital did in its labor and delivery ward, said Tiffany Leonhardt, director of business development.

“That was just really a huge eye opener to us,” Leonhardt said. “There’s so many women in our community who, number one, they want it, and number two, they actually qualify for it—it’s safe for them.”

Emily Meyers said if those resources had been in place three months ago, she would have elected to give birth locally at the birth center. She and her husband likely also would have stopped at the Plumas District Hospital emergency room in Quincy.

“A birthing center that’s 30 minutes from my house—that would be a huge relief,” Meyers said. “It was very miserable to be in labor in the car for an hour and a half. It would be nice if there were a few more options for people, and it would give me more peace of mind knowing there was more care available.”

Rural hospitals struggle to maintain labor and delivery

In 2022, the last year that Plumas District Hospital operated a maternity ward, it delivered 64 babies, barely more than one per week. When the number of births drops below 200, that’s usually a sign of trouble, Moore, with Partnership Health Plan, said.

Low volume is a common problem in rural California and one that comes with a hefty price tag. Maternity wards are often the second most expensive hospital units to run after the emergency room because they require around-the-clock staffing, and without enough births there’s no revenue to cover the service.

Plumas’ hospital also struggled with staffing issues. As a rural hospital, it needed nurses who could work in multiple areas of the hospital when women weren’t in labor; modern training has encouraged most medical professionals to specialize in a single area.

Open nursing positions with sign-on and housing bonuses would go months without applicants, hospital leaders said. Temporary traveling nurses hired to fill on the maternity ward were unwilling to work in other areas of the hospital.

“We couldn’t throw enough money at it,” Beatty said. “We were willing to spend whatever it took to get the staffing we needed, but that wasn’t the problem.”

Still, hospital leaders vowed to bring some birth services back to the area after closing the maternity ward.

Plumas District Hospital kept its 24-hour operating room open and retained anesthesiologists, obstetricians and respiratory therapists on staff. Typically, when a rural hospital ends labor and delivery, it stops related services; but doctors and midwives have continued prenatal care and follow-up with moms who deliver in other cities.

“Obstetrics really forces an organization to be very, very excellent across the board,” Beatty said.

Birth centers gain popularity

Emily Meyers’ sister-in-law, Mary Ann Meyers, remembers when Plumas District Hospital closed its maternity ward. She had been planning on delivering her first child there in 2021 when the Dixie Fire swept through the region, burning nearly 1 million acres. The hospital was spared, but she transferred her care to a hospital in Nevada instead because of the smoke. Months later, Plumas District Hospital shut the doors to its maternity ward.

That loss complicated the birth of her second child. Mary Ann drove five hours round trip between Greenville and Reno for those prenatal appointments.

Then, the same July day that Emily gave birth, Mary Ann found herself in labor with her third child, speeding to the same hospital. Her water broke at 2:30 a.m. She and her husband drove to Reno and had just checked into a hotel when they got a call saying Emily had delivered in the car and was also in Reno – in the Sierra Medical Center emergency room.

Mary Ann started feeling stronger contractions herself, so she and her husband rushed over to Sierra Medical too. By the time she made it up four flights of stairs to the maternity ward, Mary Ann was 9 centimeters dilated and nearly ready to push.

“We made it but I am definitely worried about next time,” Mary Ann Meyers said. “It went from zero to 100 in 40 minutes.”

Moms in the area will be excited about the new birth center, Mary Ann said. Many of her friends want natural births. Though she delivered in a hospital, she did it without an epidural.

Planned out-of-hospital births in California increased by 30% over the past decade even as birth rates overall declined, according to data from the Medical Board of California.

“If there is an emergency it’s still a little risky, but it’s good to know that there are people who are capable and knowledgeable if you need help,” Mary Ann Myers said.

Lori Link, a certified nurse midwife with Plumas District Hospital, said the plan is for obstetrics staff to routinely spend time at larger institutions, to keep up their skills.

Link, too, is optimistic about the future of maternity care in Plumas. Many of her current patients ask about the birth center and when it will open. The plan wouldn’t be sustainable if the community didn’t want it, she said.

“I think this is a testimony to the power of listening to women,” Link said.

Supported by the California Health Care Foundation (CHCF), which works to ensure that people have access to the care they need, when they need it, at a price they can afford. Visit www.chcf.org to learn more.

The post She Drove a Hundred Miles to Give Birth. New California Laws Are Bringing Maternity Care Closer to Home. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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You have enormous influence to create change and save your marriage.

The post 5 Things Men Can Do to Strengthen Their Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Things, Men, Can, Strengthen, Their, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Five-Things-Men-Can-Do-to-Strengthen-Their-Relationship-min.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/five-things-men-can-do-to-strengthen-their-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:51:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112949", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Talk Girl Type Calibration: Sexually Liberated Girls", "title_slug": "sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-sexually-liberated-girls", "title_hash": "5af53f71437196de716fae8166634d70", "summary": "Sexually liberated girls – women with sex positive attitudes – can be very open to sexual frames. But watch out for ‘true believers’; frame control required!\nHey guys,\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"sex$ Sexually liberated girls – women with sex positive attitudes – can be very open to sexual frames. But watch out for ‘true believers’; frame control required!

Hey guys,

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Girl, Type, Calibration:, Sexually, Liberated, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/sex-talk-sexually-liberated-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-sexually-liberated-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112950", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Elicit a Woman's Romantic & Sexual Values (and BECOME Her \"Type\")", "title_slug": "elicit-a-womans-romantic-sexual-values-and-become-her-type", "title_hash": "ce3b101593f84a3b15d39f32f5553243", "summary": "What do you do if you’re not a woman’s type? Simple enough: just elicit her romantic and sexual values – then build yourself as her type.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"values$ What do you do if you’re not a woman’s type? Simple enough: just elicit her romantic and sexual values – then build yourself as her type.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Elicit, Womans, Romantic, Sexual, Values, and, BECOME, Her, Type", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/values-elicitation-romantic-sexual-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/elicit-womans-romantic-sexual-values-and-become-her-type", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112948", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Things Men Do When They’re Deeply Into You", "title_slug": "9-things-men-do-when-theyre-deeply-into-you", "title_hash": "00dfefaa11ff56a51e1c2516c2b8678d", "summary": "When a man is truly into you, it shows, not in the big words, but in the quiet…", "content": "When a man is truly into you, it shows, not in the big words, but in the quiet…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, When, They’re, Deeply, Into, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/things-e1763066596984.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&ssl=1", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-things-men-do-when-theyre-deeply-into-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112947", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Signs She’s Waiting For The Right Moment To Be Close", "title_slug": "8-signs-shes-waiting-for-the-right-moment-to-be-close", "title_hash": "27f8d3e261526b128e0d6daab0e42307", "summary": "Not every woman rushes into closeness. Sometimes, she slows down, not because she’s unsure, but because she wants…", "content": "Not every woman rushes into closeness. Sometimes, she slows down, not because she’s unsure, but because she wants…", "keywords": ", Signs, She’s, Waiting, For, The, Right, Moment, Close", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/waiting-1-e1763069401976.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&ssl=1", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-signs-shes-waiting-for-the-right-moment-to-be-close/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112946", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Strangest Things Men Secretly Desire More Than You Think", "title_slug": "9-strangest-things-men-secretly-desire-more-than-you-think", "title_hash": "efc2d03feaad46fc42ad3bacfcdb3a5b", "summary": "People think men are simple. That they only care about the obvious things. But the truth is, most…", "content": "People think men are simple. That they only care about the obvious things. But the truth is, most…", "keywords": ", Strangest, Things, Men, Secretly, Desire, More, Than, You, Think", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Strangest-3.avif", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-strangest-things-men-secretly-desire-more-than-you-think/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112945", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Things Men Look for in a Woman According to Science", "title_slug": "8-things-men-look-for-in-a-woman-according-to-science", "title_hash": "863120a2e63300cca67ddac45fd36c35", "summary": "People say men are simple, but science paints a different picture. Beneath the surface, men are wired to…", "content": "People say men are simple, but science paints a different picture. Beneath the surface, men are wired to…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, Look, for, Woman, According, Science", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/thumbnail.avif", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-things-men-look-for-in-a-woman-according-to-science/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112944", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Magnetic Appeal Secrets Every Guy Must Know", "title_slug": "9-magnetic-appeal-secrets-every-guy-must-know", "title_hash": "696fc2d0f1a7bee48da3566b7b52507c", "summary": "Seduction isn’t about looks. It’s not about lines, tricks, or trying too hard. Real seduction is quiet. It’s…", "content": "Seduction isn’t about looks. It’s not about lines, tricks, or trying too hard. Real seduction is quiet. It’s…", "keywords": ", Magnetic, Appeal, Secrets, Every, Guy, Must, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://editu4xbkqr.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/bb0f3495-e551-4465-a492-13e6749a0e75-e1762405725649.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&ssl=1", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-magnetic-appeal-secrets-every-guy-must-know/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112942", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everything You Need to Know About Zone 2 Training", "title_slug": "everything-you-need-to-know-about-zone-2-training", "title_hash": "3cd1200703b21b4bedaf0da66b23812d", "summary": "Here's Why Everyone Is Suddenly Paying Attention to Their Heart Rate During Cardio Sessions", "content": "Not all cardio is created equal. And if you’ve been scrolling through social media or having conversations with avid runners or cyclists, you might have heard the term “zone 2 training” thrown around, which refers to lower-intensity endurance exercise performed for a sustained period of time. \r\nIf you’re wondering what it actually entails and how it can benefit you, here’s what you need to know about the fitness buzzword.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Heart Rate Zones \r\n\r\nWhat Is Zone 2 Training?\r\n\r\n \r\nZone 2 training means that you’re working out just hard enough to feel your heart and lungs pumping, but not so hard that you can’t sustain the effort. \r\n“There are five heart rate zones used to gauge how hard your body is working during exercise. It’s a scale, with zone 1 being the easiest heart rate zone, typically reached during gentle walking, up to zone 5, which represents the maximum effort you can exert,” according to Alex Kirkup-Lee, personal trainer and content writer at Gymshark.\r\n \r\n“Zone 2 sits on the easier end of that spectrum, and is performed at around 60 to 70% of your maximum heart rate. It's seen as slow and steady, with runners sometimes referring to it as an 'easy pace’, but it could also be a casual bike ride or steady swim.” \r\nUsing a heart rate monitor while you train is the best way to gauge your zone, but people often describe zone 2 as a workout intensity level where you’d still be able to maintain a conversation.\r\n \r\nThat said, it isn’t just about how hard a workout feels, but about reaching and maintaining a specific physiological state. “It is the highest intensity at which a true metabolic steady state can be maintained. This would be shown by a stable heart rate with little to no drift, plateaus in oxygen consumption and blood lactate being cleared as quickly as it is produced,” says Henry Latimer, performance cycling coach and Vekta coaching partner. \r\nIn simpler terms, anytime you work out, you are producing energy. Lactate is a byproduct of energy production. If it builds faster than your body can clear it, you’re pushing close to your max. In zone 2, that process stays balanced and you clear lactate as you produce it, which helps you maintain a steady rhythm.\r\n \r\n\r\nBenefits of Zone 2 Training\r\n\r\n \r\nZone 2 training is more than a fad — it’s an accessible form of training that comes with several health benefits: \r\nBuilds Aerobic Endurance\r\nYour VO2 max is the maximum rate at which your body can use oxygen during exercise, and it’s a measure of aerobic endurance. High-intensity workouts like interval training aim to improve that threshold. But when you do steady cardio in zone 2, you build the foundation needed to reach new performance heights. “Zone 2 training can have a huge impact on your aerobic endurance, which builds a base upon which you can increase your VO2 max,” notes Latimer. \r\nThink about it this way: If you can barely jog, your top sprint will look different than if running feels like walking to you. With zone 2 training, your baseline improves over time and you can train longer and push harder with more ease.\r\n \r\nCan Encourage Fat Burning\r\nBesides making you fitter, training in zone 2 can also encourage your body to burn fat for energy instead of heavily relying on carbs, says Latimer. That’s because your body needs oxygen to burn fat. \r\nWhen you’re in zone 2, your breathing and heart rate may be elevated, but you can still take in enough oxygen to support aerobic energy production, which means that you’re steadily breaking down fat for fuel. But when you’re pushing harder and need energy faster, your body switches to using carbs for energy, which are quicker to break down without oxygen.\r\n \r\nThis is why people sometimes refer to zone 2 training as the “fat-burning zone.” Just keep in mind that it doesn’t mean that you’ll automatically get a six-pack from zone 2 training, as body composition is influenced by several factors, including your diet. \r\nSupports Recovery and Long-Term Fitness\r\n \r\nThe beauty of zone 2 training is that it allows you to train more often without burning out. “Over time, [zone 2 training] can help you recover faster and feel less worn out between workouts,” says Kirkup-Lee. \r\nIf you’re a cyclist or a runner, it’s a smart way to increase your weekly mileage safely and effectively. “Providing you focus on effective nutrition and hydration after longer zone 2 rides, you should be able to train effectively again the following day as part of a broader training program,” adds Latimer.\r\n \r\nReduces Risk of Disease\r\nZone 2 training isn’t just good for your athletic performance. It supports your health. Research consistently shows that increased physical activity is associated with a lower risk of chronic diseases such as type 2 diabetes and has a positive impact on stress levels, blood pressure, weight and other factors that impact your well-being. And engaging in aerobic exercise at a moderate intensity can greatly decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease and overall mortality. \r\nEasy to Stick With and Accessible\r\n \r\nBecause zone 2 is steady, low-intensity cardio, it’s something you can do for longer periods, and repeat several times a week, which helps you hit your physical activity targets. The American Heart Association currently recommends doing at least 150 minutes a week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity — and 300 minutes a week if you want to maximize health benefits. \r\n\r\nHow to Incorporate Zone 2 Training Into Your Routine\r\n\r\n \r\nIf you’re ready to add zone 2 workouts to your routine, Lee-Kirkup shares a simple framework to get started: Aim for three to four 45- to 60-minute cardio sessions a week. “Wearing comfortable gear that supports movement and breathability, like a good pair of performance leggings, is essential as it helps minimize distractions, allowing you to focus on building your aerobic capacity and settling into a good rhythm,” adds Kirkup-Lee. \r\nAlso, there’s a time and place for higher-intensity workouts, and you shouldn’t forego them completely provided that you’re in good health and injury-free. “While zone 2 training is important, you should supplement it with occasional high-intensity sessions that will stress your body in a different way,” recommends Latimer. “One to two high-intensity sessions in addition [to zone 2 training] will really help you progress quickly with your training.”\r\n \r\nWhether you’re a beginner or an experienced athlete looking to optimize your performance, making space for zone 2 training can help you train smarter — not just harder. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\nWhat’s a Good Resting Heart Rate?Best Heart Rate Trackers and WatchesWhat’s a Dangerous Heart Rate?", "keywords": "Everything, You, Need, Know, About, Zone, Training", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/everything-you-need-to-know-about-zone-2-training/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763065087.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/everything-you-need-to-know-about-zone-2-training.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112943", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: What Do Gay Guys Think About Pubic Hair?", "title_slug": "str8curious-what-do-gay-guys-think-about-pubic-hair", "title_hash": "50acf9e4c64babd67015abbd80b19391", "summary": "Do Gay Guys Care More About Men Manscaping Than Women Do?", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\r\nThe Question\r\n“I’m a pretty hairy guy and I have a particularly hairy pubic area. When I was dating women, they didn’t seem to mind, but it seems like most guys on gay sex apps keep their groins trimmed and tidy...and prefer the same. Is this a common preference among gay men or am I looking for fun in all the wrong places?” - Nelson, Tulsa, OK\r\nThe Answer\r\nAdmittedly, I’m not particularly fond of nosediving into a rat’s nest when going down on a dude. Unkempt pubes often harbor foul-smelling bacteria and the hairs can literally tickle the nose like a wad of bristly feathers. \r\nRELATED: The Giant AskMen Guide to Manscaping \r\nIt’s not a dealbreaker or a complete boner killer, but I much prefer easy access to a penis instead of partaking in a Where’s Waldo of the groin area while trying to find it. \r\nThat said, I often feel like *I* may be in the minority when it comes to grooming preferences. \r\nSure, there are many gays who love to keep things neat and tidy, especially if it’s an extension of bodies that are clean-shaven (often to showcase the shadows of muscles), but I’d argue that there are a lot of gay men who love an au naturel bush, including the “manly,” often sweaty scents that come with it. \r\nThe problem is that an app like Grindr may not be the right fit for you, or at least with your current settings. \r\nTry searching for tags like “bear” or “hairy” or even “furry” (though that may yield an entirely different result than anticipated, as explained here). There are also Tribe filters that include Bear, Otter, and Rugged that should present hairier dudes. \r\nIf that fails, experiment with other apps like Scruff that tend to attract guys who not only don’t care about trimming (it’s in app’s name!), but embrace those who come with a bit of extra fuzz. \r\nAnd if you’re *really* self-conscious, then I say start with a happy medium. Don’t go completely bare, but do go through with an electric body trimmer and keep at least half an inch of hair in tact. This will shave away the unruly hairs that may be aesthetically displeasing for guys like me. \r\nNot sure where to start? Every year, AskMen releases a comprehensive list of Grooming Awards with a dedicated Shave category. This houses the best of the best when it comes to creams, devices, and aftercare so that your junk looks more like a piece of art instead of a war zone riddled with nicks, redness, and ingrown hairs. \r\nAt the end of the day, you should only do what makes you comfortable. Rock out with your pubic hair out and the right man will certainly come along to appreciate it. Guaranteed. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\nWhat Women Really Think of Guys' PubesHow to Trim Your Pubic Hair, ExplainedI Got a Brazilian Wax for Men and This Is What I Learned", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, What, Gay, Guys, Think, About, Pubic, Hair", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/str8curious-what-do-gay-guys-think-about-pubic-hair/image-embeds-17-1763053052.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/str8curious-what-do-gay-guys-think-about-pubic-hair.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112939", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Shave Your Balls", "title_slug": "how-to-shave-your-balls", "title_hash": "c7e98379a68559816b08915f3f9910d6", "summary": "Welcome to the dawn of a new grooming era. One where the modern gent takes pride in shaving his balls without succumbing to the public ridicule of coming off less manly. You know this better as manscaping, and yes, it’s become an “it” trend's transcending the male grooming landscape and redefining our views of masculinity.\r\n \r\nNowadays, women are finding guys with smooth packages hot. Think differently? Peep it. A study conducted between two public universities in the U.S., documented in an issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, provided these intriguing stats:\r\n\r\n\t49% percent of guys shaved off pubic hair at some point in a month\r\n\t38% of all study participants claimed they were “typically hair free”\r\n\tRoughly the same percentage of both sexes (76% women and 74% men) claim to shave their pubes\r\n\t32% of men agreed that shaving down their made them feel cleaner\r\n\r\nThose numbers should sway you to perform some deforestation in the groin area. Still on the fence? OK. Another survey done", "content": "Welcome to the dawn of a new grooming era. One where the modern gent takes pride in shaving his balls without succumbing to the public ridicule of coming off less manly. You know this better as manscaping, and yes, it’s become an “it” trend's transcending the male grooming landscape and redefining our views of masculinity.\r\n \r\nNowadays, women are finding guys with smooth packages hot. Think differently? Peep it. A study conducted between two public universities in the U.S., documented in an issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, provided these intriguing stats:\r\n\r\n\t49% percent of guys shaved off pubic hair at some point in a month\r\n\t38% of all study participants claimed they were “typically hair free”\r\n\tRoughly the same percentage of both sexes (76% women and 74% men) claim to shave their pubes\r\n\t32% of men agreed that shaving down their made them feel cleaner\r\n\r\nThose numbers should sway you to perform some deforestation in the groin area. Still on the fence? OK. Another survey done by Gillette showed that 92% of women prefer a guy who keeps it “nice and tidy” down under.\r\nRELATED: AskMen's Ultimate Guide to Manscaping\r\nIt’s understandable that you're frightened about using a sharp razor on such a delicate area or refuse to deal with the extra maintenance that comes with properly buzzing your grapefruits. But, hey, it’s time to get with the program. Doing so leads to less sweaty testes, provides for a more sensual oral experience, and results in an enticing bikini line, if you’re all about the David Beckham, Euro-beach look.\r\n \r\nSo, why shouldn’t your nuts receive the same treatment as, say, your face, head, back, or nose? Here’s an in-depth guide on how to shave your balls in style.\r\n\r\n\r\nProceed With Caution\r\n\r\n\r\nYour balls harbor bacteria and yeast, which can spread across the body when performing other manscaping duties that require the same tools. Even the slightest laceration can lead to abscesses, cellulitis or Fournier gangrene: a necrotizing infection that causes some pretty disgusting side effects.\r\n \r\nFeel your scrotum and shaft for a second. Notice the several skin folds and grooves? The sensitivity of both areas makes them susceptible to cuts. That’s scary, especially when seeing how most self-inflicted common genital injuries often lead to visits to the American emergency rooms. Play nice down there.\r\nAny proper shave starts with providing a smooth-cutting surface. Be sure to use your non-cutting hand to pull the skin back tight. The odds of nipping your jewels will be less frequent because you’re preventing the skin from rolling underneath the blade. So, tug that sack.\r\n \r\nMaintaining a steady hand is vital for shaving your balls successfully. You might want to take a razor to the face first to calm your nerves and practice precise strokes. This should build confidence when heading down there. Shave in the direction of your hair and not against it, for this will prevent irritation and any post-shave stubble. Lastly, implement a cleaning routine such as wiping down your grooming tools with rubbing alcohol. Wash your hands too before proceeding.\r\n\r\n\r\nBallscaping Pre-Ritual\r\n\r\n\r\nCommon sense tells you to never shave any body part under dry conditions. That’s just begging for a bloody outcome. Hopping in the shower is the most effective way to soften crotch fur, as it will stimulate every pube and allow for a smoother pass of the blade. Warm water opens your pores and lubricates your skin. Once out the tub, it’s all about prepping your sack with the right pre-shave and shaving solutions. The following three products fit the bill.\r\nBravo Sierra Hair & Body Cleansing Bar\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nThis all-in-one hair and body soap is fit for purpose, producing a rich, satisfying lather that makes it easy to shave hair down to the roots on the first pass, reducing the risk of razor burn or skin irritation. It's also enriched with coconut as well as shea and ooat butter, giving you a refreshing feeling as it heals your newly-shaved skin.\r\n\r\n$22 at BravoSierra.com\r\nProraso Pre-Shave Cream\r\n\r\n\r\nA pre-shave cream carries much of the same qualities as a pre-shave oil. Both improve razor glide, pre-condition skin, and soften hair. The only reason difference lies in protection, as a pre-shave cream offers more cushioning to decrease the risk of nicks. Proraso’s cream is formulated with healing agents to treat, tone and revitalize skin, ensuring little-to-no skin irritation.\r\n\r\n$13 at Amazon.com\r\nRecipe for Men Clear Shaving Gel\r\n\r\nA shave gel is amazing for shaving your balls. Its translucent appearance makes it easier to see where you're shaving, plus it comes loaded with healing and moisturizing properties. Nothing compares to Recipe For Men’s foam-free offering, which gives forth maximum comfort by softening and lifting fur for slicker shaves. Aloe Vera, lemon extract, and menthol tame inflammation and nourish the nards to prevent bacterial attacks and excess sebum from developing.\r\n\r\n$26 at RecipeForMen.com\r\n\r\n\r\nPick the Best Grooming Tools\r\n\r\n\r\nNo well-groomed man enters the jungle without the necessary equipment to tame a hairy beast. Some guys prefer a razor blade over a body trimmer, some may even prefer an electric shaver. Others favor a more old-fashioned instrument such as scissors. Don’t ask why. All these tools complement each other when nipping hair off your balls. It just depends on how close of a shave or trim you desire.\r\nHair growth patterns are genetic and some guys experience it near the base or lower shaft of their magic stick, which is considered normal. Shaving this form of pubic hair is a quick fix. However, it must be shaved constantly, as stubble regrowth can cause itching, as well as trigger irritation in a sex partner. Tweezers are known as the most popular solution, especially since plucking the hair out of the follicle slows down the growth process. However, it is very time-consuming. So why bother. Also, refrain from using any hair wax removal system because it can cause serious damage to your penis skin.\r\nThat being said, let’s see how some of these other tools are beneficial when shaving your testicles. \r\n\r\n\r\nBody Trimmers\r\n\r\n\r\nImagine your nut sack is your chin, only with a full-grown beard. No way you’re going to take a straight razor and shave your face before trimming it down. Before putting in any skin-level blade work, use an electric groomer to shorten pubic hair to a manageable length. This will ensure you don’t feel any hair pulling when getting closer to the skin surface.\r\nInvesting in one of these is a must. Guys with a bushy sack require the hardware to shorten their way through the weeds for a more intimate cut. A body groomer won’t fully rid your privates of hair, but it’s the quickest and most useful way to achieve a basic shave.\r\nThe market has a variety of options available, some with multi-purpose features that come in handy for other manscaping needs.\r\nPhilips Norelco Bodygroom 7000 Series\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nAskMen’s pick for Best Body Hair Trimmer lives up to its hype with a skin-protecting shaving head made from hypoallergenic materials, plus five built-in trim options for precise trimming and a waterproof design. The premium foil design captures loose hair with every stroke. The self-sharpening blades also account for low maintenance care.\r\n$69.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBraun All-in-One Grooming Kit & Trimmer\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nShaggy crotches are disgusting. And even if you’re not up for shaving it, at least make the effort to keep it well groomed. Braun’s 9-in-1 grooming kit offers all the necessary attachments to trim down tough bushes. The trimmer itself is worthy of handling any task, though the real value comes in the extras. By that we mean the 40 precision length settings (0.5-21mm), six precision attachments including a detail trimmer, if you’re ever inspired to get creative with pelvic presentation.\r\n$84.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMANGROOMER Lithium Max Plus Body Groomer\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nMangroomer is well known for its innovatively designed back shaver. But don’t overlook its more dynamic body groomer. Advanced shaving performance is guaranteed with the company’s patented Shock Absorber Flex Head that adapts to the contours of your balls to trim to precision. It comes kitted with a built-in trimmer, seven trimming options, separate button for thick body hair, and a waterproof shell to take into the shower. We don't necessarily a wet shave to your sensitive skin sack area is a good idea, but an electric trimmer like this one means you can safely shave a step in the shower. (See what we did there?)\r\n$89.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nManual Razors\r\n\r\n\r\nThe bolder route, cartridge-based razors deliver the cleanest and closest shave possible. But shaving like that requires more time and paying special attention to your testicles. No one wants a slashed up scrotum. Right? These selections just might encourage you to move forward.\r\nGillette Fusion5\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nThis isn't your dad's old school disposable razor blade. Flexibility is everything when it comes to manscaping. Gillette makes one of the most resilient razors with anti-friction blades and \"Lubastrip\" technology to minimize discomfort. The cartridge is capable of pivoting in multiple directions and opens the lane for longer strokes to lessen the shaving time. Thinner blades are used for decreased facial resistance, which translates well on the balls. Choose a bold color to give your bathroom countertop some flare.\r\n$22 at Amazon.com\r\nHarry’s The Truman Razor\r\n\r\nHarry’s signature razor blade isn't as pliable as Gillette’s top models, but it has the upper hand in two categories: control and durability. The lightweight, rubberized handle provides optimal grip to easily navigate the razor around delicate spots. The German-engineered blades guarantee a smooth shave and come built to last. In other words, you’ll get a handful of shaves out of one cartridge with proper care.\r\n$15 at Harrys.com\r\nWilkinson Sword Hydro 5 Groomer\r\n\r\nAs a razor, this 4-in-1 styling tool gets the job done. Though it’s biggest selling point is not the blade. It’s the built-in power trimmer with three adjustable settings that executes trims at most lengths with finesse. Granted we’re not talking a Norelco machine here by any means, the product is powerful enough to mow through pubes.\r\n$32 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nScissors\r\n\r\n\r\nHairdressing clippers come in handy when looking to tame excessive hair growth. They prove to be incredibly useful for snipping through longer hair strands. Just don’t expect a uniform finish or to complete a full trim in fast succession. If you’re feeling that adventurous, wrap your fingers around these sharp sheers.\r\nTweezerman GEAR Stainless Steel Scissors\r\n\r\nA trusted name in facial hair shearing, Tweezerman’s cutters are serviceable enough to double as a pair of pubic hair scissors. Sharpness is guaranteed along the blades, whereas the curved tip guides the blades away from skin to reduce the risk of wounds. Men with coarse hair might need a more durable option, but those with more malleable threads will find cutting action to be reliable.\r\n\r\n$21 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nClean-Up Time\r\n\r\n\r\nThought the nightmare was over? Oh no. Just like your face, your balls deserve the same post-shave love. One word: Aftershave. The antiseptic agent keeps ingrown hairs and razor burn at bay. Don’t settle for a splash-based formula. Why? Well, most liquid aftershaves contain alcohol. So unless you want your them burning up, look into an aftershave balm to hydrate and soothe the skin. Bonus: it provides a relaxing sensation during application.\r\nTake other post-shave remedies into account, for some, if not all will be needed to take care of common skincare issues. Lacerations. Ingrown hairs. Razor burn. Common stuff basically. Add these to your virtual cart.\r\nManscaped Crop Preserver\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nNothing better than an all-in-one.This unique moisturizing deodorant is designed to keep you both fresh and hydrated all day long. The Crop Preserver is residue and oil-free, and is formulated with natural herbs that work to soften coarse hair in your most sensitive areas. Manscaping just got interesting.\r\n$12.97 at Amazon.com\r\nBaxter of California Shave Tonic\r\n\r\n\r\nShaving any part of the body messes with your skin’s pH levels. Spraying this post-shave mist down there won’t just put pH back into balance, but it'll also provide instant relief thanks to the cooling effects of aloe, eucalyptus and spearmint. A host of vitamins are infused into the complex to keep your balls hydrated and boost elasticity.\r\n\r\n$20 at Amazon.com\r\nGrooming Lounge The Shavior\r\n\r\n\r\nA razor burn, razor bump, and ingrown hair remedy all in one, the Shavior is a post-shave stunner that covers all skincare tracks. Exfoliate dead skin cells. Disinfect and heal skin. Uplift ingrown hairs. Heal your bark. Is there anything this product doesn’t do? Even crazier is how Grooming Lounge formulated The Shavior to double as a “spot treatment for often-irritated areas.”\r\n\r\n$28 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nThere Will Be Blood, But Don’t Panic\r\n\r\n\r\nIf it’s your first rodeo, anticipate some slip-ups along the way. Keep a box of tissues on hand. In case you notice some minor bleeding, don’t trip, just take a damp piece of bounty or toilet paper and apply pressure onto the cut. Hold it there for up to 10 minutes and it should stop the wound from leaking.\r\n \r\nFollow these steps, practice patience, use quality products and your boys will be breathing hair-free going into the summer, no problem.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tPubic Hair Removal for Men\r\n\tBest Classic Razors for Men\r\n\tBest Body Hair Trimmers", "keywords": "How, Shave, Your, Balls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/how-to-shave-your-balls/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763144776.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/how-to-shave-your-balls.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112940", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Shearling Jackets for Men", "title_slug": "best-shearling-jackets-for-men", "title_hash": "5b98fd4f95e96e76c80756a06adcaf5f", "summary": "These 10 Shearling Jackets Blend Warmth with Striking, Vintage Good Looks", "content": "Look through a timeline of the most formidable gear and menswear on the planet, and a recurring theme comes up: Utility tends to go hand in hand with style, and rugged performance can set the tone nicely for a functional staple to turn into a fashion icon. Take the shearling jacket: A wise and warm choice for pilots in World War I (and a material used eons ago to keep warm in brisk conditions), the best shearling jackets tell a tale of history, heritage and now, modern luxury. \r\nThe best shearling jackets are a style statement that goes well beyond Bane’s one-of-a-kind coat in 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises. They make the case that blending rich leather with handsome, warm shearling is quite simply badass, with runway-ready good looks that also lend you an air of movie star cool (think of Ryan Gosling or Daniel Craig wearing a shearling jacket, and there you have it).\r\nRELATED: Best Rugby Shirts\r\nThe best shearling jackets are often modeled in the form of old-school military jackets and pilot jackets, with designations to match (the aptly named B-3 bomber, made by various brands both new and historic, is one that comes up a great deal when it comes to the best shearling jackets). Whether worn over a henley with blue jeans or styled with charcoal corduroy trousers and a chambray dress shirt, the best men’s shearling jackets are undeniably tough, premium and ready for winter’s worst: Layer up accordingly.\r\n \r\nQuince Shearling Collar Leather Flight Jacket\r\n\r\n \r\nPay homage to history in a surprisingly affordable way with this Quince flight jacket, an expertly crafted layer practically made to be paired with the company’s famously cost-conscious, stylish sweaters. The design nods to 1900s pilot jackets, while a special pre-wash gives this jacket a vintage appeal right out of the box. Gold-finish YKK zippers and the handsome shearling collar itself deliver a luxe finish, one this writer assuredly appreciates when worn on brisk Brooklyn days.\r\n$350 at Quince.com \r\nThursday Boots Bronco Shearling Jacket\r\n\r\nThursday Boots’ stylish lineup of Chelsea and chukka boots deserves the right supporting cast, like this distinctive and bold shearling jacket. Yosemite Spanish shearling meets Napa leather trim at an approachable price, with the good looks and durability to rival Bane’s covetable and cinematic shearling jacket. For best results, pair with a thermal henley and dark blue jeans (and yes, a pair of Thursday Boots).\r\n$689 at ThursdayBoots.com \r\nDockers Shearling Mid-Length Overcoat\r\n\r\n \r\nThe best shearling jackets deliver luxe style with an attitude (think of Robert Redford famously rocking a shearling jacket at the Sundance Film Festival, for instance). And Dockers delivers a highly approachable spin on a classic, turning the mid-length overcoat into an affordable (faux) shearling marvel with eye-catching individual style.\r\n$169.99 at Amazon.com \r\nCalvin Klein Shearling Bomber Jacket\r\n\r\nWhile Calvin Klein basics are always a winning choice in any season, don’t overlook the famed designer’s outerwear options for the colder months. This bomber jacket plays off timeless bomber jacket style details like collar buckles, while fashionable touches like contrasting leather trims deliver a shot of runway-inspired style that won’t cost you an arm and a leg.\r\n$109.99 at Amazon.com \r\nrag & bone Trent Shearling Jacket\r\n\r\nShearling is nothing if not an ultra-luxurious material, the kind that gives a certain sex appeal to many silhouettes, including this ultra-cool bomber jacket silhouette. The best shearling jackets have a sense of heritage to them, but this one also boasts a dash of rock n’roll attitude.\r\n$2,398 at rag-bone.com\r\nBuck Mason Polar Shearling Deck Jacket\r\n\r\nShearling has proven its mettle as a trusted material in the worst conditions, like on the blustery high seas. It meets the classic design of a naval-inspired deck jacket in a silhouette that’s tinged with rugged Americana cool from style purveyors Buck Mason. Look for this jacket available for pre-order ahead of inclement winter weather.\r\n$1,298 at BuckMason.com \r\nFlint and Tinder Sherpa-Lined Trucker Jacket\r\n\r\nNot every single one of the best shearling jackets needs to feature the build of a flight jacket. This Flint and Tinder number plays off the brand’s famed trucker jacket silhouette while upping the ante with luxe Whiskey corduroy (and a denim version delivers road-ready appeal, too).\r\n$248 at Huckberry.com \r\nBrandsLock B-3 Bomber Jacket\r\n\r\nThere’s a reason pilots dating back to World War I trusted the hard-working style of the B-3 silhouette: The style was as functional as it gets, with shearling delivering ultra-warm performance high in the skies. The same historical approach makes the jacket a winning style move in modern times, as the shearling collar and cuffs contrast in fine form with this richly crafted leather jacket silhouette.\r\n$349.99 at Amazon.com \r\nMarco Enzolani B-3 Bomber Jacket\r\n\r\nLike other reliable menswear staples (the blue jean, the chore coat or the trusty henley shirt), the best menswear of today owes a debt of gratitude to throwback style and performance of days gone by. The B-3 bomber jacket is a prime example of a reliable favorite done up in modern fashion, this time to great effect — and with real-life pilot jacket inspiration — by Marco Enzolani.\r\n$289.99 at Amazon.com\r\nGUESS Shearling Coat\r\n\r\nThe very best men’s shearling coats show that you mean business, with their ability to lend a dash of flair to even the most minimal outfits. This stylish number from GUESS (which would pair perfectly with the brand’s classic-meets-modern denim) takes the traditional overcoat and flips it on its head with richly crafted shearling at a fine price.\r\n \r\n$88.88 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\r\nWinter Scarves for Men\r\n\r\nBest Full-Zip Sweaters for MenLightweight Long-Sleeve Shirts for Men", "keywords": "Best, Shearling, Jackets, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-shearling-jackets-for-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1763136984.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-shearling-jackets-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112941", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Know About Long-Term Relationship Sex", "title_slug": "what-to-know-about-long-term-relationship-sex", "title_hash": "0e1e314ddd5068d60970b7431debe015", "summary": "It’s incredibly common for new relationships to be marked (or heralded) by a surge in sexual passion. As two people develop a new intimacy together, they often feel drawn to express it with their bodies. \r\nThe feel-good brain chemicals emitted by all that sex help make early relationship experiences feel tinged with a pleasant glow of happiness, and disagreements, fights, and resentment often don’t begin to appear until around a year in. However, the honeymoon phase can’t last forever.\r\n \r\nRELATED: The Honeymoon Phase: What Is It, Exactly? \r\nAs you get to know each other better, familiarity replaces novelty, and passion gives way to companionship. That doesn’t mean that your sex life as a couple is over once you reach long-term relationship status, though — far from it. However, it does mean that it’s going to be different.\r\n \r\nIn order to help you understand how and why this happens, and to help you navigate how to have a pleasurable sex life with your long-term partner once the new r", "content": "It’s incredibly common for new relationships to be marked (or heralded) by a surge in sexual passion. As two people develop a new intimacy together, they often feel drawn to express it with their bodies. \r\nThe feel-good brain chemicals emitted by all that sex help make early relationship experiences feel tinged with a pleasant glow of happiness, and disagreements, fights, and resentment often don’t begin to appear until around a year in. However, the honeymoon phase can’t last forever.\r\n \r\nRELATED: The Honeymoon Phase: What Is It, Exactly? \r\nAs you get to know each other better, familiarity replaces novelty, and passion gives way to companionship. That doesn’t mean that your sex life as a couple is over once you reach long-term relationship status, though — far from it. However, it does mean that it’s going to be different.\r\n \r\nIn order to help you understand how and why this happens, and to help you navigate how to have a pleasurable sex life with your long-term partner once the new relationship energy has dissipated, AskMen spoke to the experts. Here’s what they had to say:\r\n\r\nWhy Sex Often Loses Its Intensity in Long-Term Relationships\r\n\r\n“When a relationship is new, you are actively discovering your partner’s body, desires, little signals and odd quirks,” says certified intimacy coach and sex educator Sarah Tomchesson, marketing director at Magic Wand. “That state of alertness naturally invites exploration. Over time, people can feel ‘known’ — which is lovely — but that sense of familiarity often goes hand-in-hand with less curiosity. If you stop looking for newness, your sexual connection can drift toward predictable or stale patterns.”\r\n“As a relationship progresses, we move from the ‘passionate phase’ characterized by excitement and intense sexual desire to the ‘companionate stage,’ which blends passion with a strong sense of friendship and security,” says Zachary Zane, sex and relationship expert for #LubeLife. “The passionate phase usually lasts a year or two and then transitions into the companionate stage, which should last the rest of your time together.”\r\n“This shift from the passion stage (limerence) to the attachment phase is normal and involves a balancing of some of the neuro-chemicals that are activated with novelty (e.g. dopamine, adrenaline),” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “As mystery and risk fade, oftentimes passion follows.”\r\n“Shared life demands, routine and stress can also accumulate over time,” she explains. “This might include kids, money, family responsibilities, health issues, emotional load, sleep deprivation (or sleep debt); all of these can dampen desire, distract from eroticism and presence and reduce the time and energy you have for passion and sex, more generally.”\r\nRELATED: How to Break Out of Your Stale Sex Routine\r\nShifts in your day-to-day routines also play a role, O’Reilly says.\r\n \r\n“Early relationship dynamics often include more unstructured times and more of a focus on one another, as you really dedicate time to dates, exploration and getting to know one another,” she explains. “As you settle into the relationship, your focus can shift to other things.”\r\nWhile this shift is typically one that takes place slowly over a period of months, it can feel disappointing or sad for some. That being said, it’s not just a bad thing. \r\n\r\n\r\n“Honestly, we wouldn’t be able to focus or live our lives if we perpetually stayed in the passionate phase and were constantly physiologically elevated and having sex,” says Zane. “It’s good to transition to the companionate stage and necessary for a healthy, long-term relationship.”\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nRELATED: How Couples’ Sex Lives Change Over Time\r\n \r\n\r\nDoes Stale Sex Mean the Relationship Is in Trouble?\r\n\r\nBecause this shift is so ubiquitous, in and of itself, it’s almost certainly not a sign that there’s anything wrong with the relationship. In fact, it may simply be a sign that things are working out well enough for you to have stayed together longer than the honeymoon period allows for. \r\n“If the passion dips in your relationship or sexual frequency tapers off to some extent, don’t panic,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Lovehoney Scientific Advisor and Kinsey Institute Researcher. “It doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship. This is pretty normal.”\r\nIn fact, some people may be worried about it because they perceive that it’s a bad change that reflects poorly on them or the relationship, rather than missing the sex per se. \r\nA decrease in quantity or change in quality only signals a problem if it causes distress for you or your partner,” says Tomchesson. “There are many meaningful ways to be intimate that aren’t limited to sex. If you do feel disconnected, though, it’s worth addressing — curiosity and small, consistent rituals can help you reconnect.”\r\n“A dip in quantity is only an issue if you deem it so,” O’Reilly agrees. “Some people are happy with amazing sex once a month and others want to be having it every day. It’s really a matter of personal desires, which will also shift (and often decline) over time.”\r\nRELATED: How Often Do People Have Sex?\r\n \r\nThat being said, she notes, “A dip in quality represents an opportunity to get curious, explore and experiment to see how you might reignite passion and pleasure. Of course, a decline in passion doesn’t inevitably equate to a decline in pleasure. Pleasure can be cultivated even in the absence of spontaneous passion.”\r\n\r\nHow to Keep Long-Term Relationship Sex Hot\r\n\r\nBut what if the decline in quantity, or quality, really does bother one or both of you? Short of wiping both your memories, there’s not much you can do to rekindle the same conditions you had when you were first starting out. \r\nAnd while it’s OK to mourn the hot, passionate sex you had back in the day, that doesn’t mean you should give up on building a new kind of physical connection with your partner that doesn’t simply rely on the sparking sexual chemistry between new lovers.\r\n \r\nSo here are seven ways to keep your sex hot, passionate and fun even as you’re growing older together: \r\n1. Talk About Your Sex\r\nRarely are people taught how to talk about sex, so it’s no surprise that so many of us struggle with it. \r\nAnd when pop culture shows couples having sex, conversations about who likes what and who doesn’t like what rarely factor into the scenes, meaning people rarely have cultural scripts for navigating these interactions.\r\n \r\nCombine that with growing up in a sex-negative culture that makes shame rampant and you have a lot of people who simply would rather not talk about sex with a partner — even if that’s the thing their sex life needs most. \r\nA “big predictor of keeping passion alive is sexual communication,” says Lehmiller “If you can’t really talk about what you want when it comes to sex, it’s really hard to maintain a sexual connection when you transition out of the passion phase.”\r\n“Ask one another how you feel, what you dream about, how often you want sex, why you want sex, what you want to try and more,” O’Reilly says. “Just talking about sex can increase passion and frequency.”\r\n“Talk about the feelings you attach to sex,” she suggests. “How do you need to feel to get in the mood? How do you feel in your hottest fantasies?”\r\n“Curiosity is a daily habit that enhances intimacy,” Tomchesson explains. “Ask your partner questions like, ‘Tell me more about what you liked there,’ or ‘What was exciting about that?’ Then really listen. Questions are the simplest tool for noticing and attuning to your partner’s evolving interests and desires.”\r\nAnd no, this isn’t just a one-time thing. Even if the first go feels awkward, frustrating or unproductive, that’s a reason to keep going, not to back off.\r\n \r\n2. Create a Sexy Atmosphere\r\nOne of the nice parts of a relationship slowly becoming a long-term one is that you settle into comfortable familiarity. However, that’s not necessarily… sexy. Thinking about creating a more intentional and sexy ambiance can be a useful step in injecting some passion back into your dynamic together. \r\nRELATED: How to Make Your Bedroom Sexier\r\n \r\n“People who take more time to set the scene or mood before sex are more likely to keep passion alive,” says Lehmiller. “This is because they’re helping to cultivate the right kind of environment for desire to set in and for everyone to feel relaxed and in the mood.”\r\n“In other words, we’re talking about changing your environment in ways that are going to cultivate the right headspace,” he notes, “which might include paying attention to things like music and lighting, keeping your bedroom clean and comfortable, planning date nights, and getting rid of distractions during sex (like turning off or silencing your phones).”\r\n3. Make a Rule Together\r\nTwo people holding each other accountable can help them go a long way, whether it’s a gym buddy or a study buddy. Tomchesson advocates for couples trying out something called the 7-7-7 rule in order to create a semblance of structure when it comes to the relationship. \r\n“Build predictable rhythm around novelty,” she explains. That means you have “a date night every 7 days, try something new or take a quick getaway every 7 weeks, and travel together every 7 months.”\r\n“Regular, planned new experiences reset your relationship’s novelty meter, which in turn benefits your sex life,” Tomchesson argues. \r\nPlus, more travel means more vacation sex, which can often turn out to be surprisingly hot even though the only thing that’s changing is the physical location.\r\n \r\nIf you’re not in a place financially where you can take smaller or larger trips with that kind of regularity, instead try brainstorming ways to experience new things together that don’t break your budget. \r\n4. Map Pleasure Intentionally\r\nBeing intentional about your desire to have a mutually satisfying sex life can be a useful step in the process. If things are feeling stuck and you have the budget (or insurance) for it, seeing a sex therapist could be a useful approach, but you may be able to make good progress between just the two of you by committing to improving your sex life together. \r\nWhat might that look like?\r\n \r\n“Carve out time (even small windows) to connect through conversation, touch and presence. It may not always lead to sex, but it makes space for the possibility of eroticism,” says O’Reilly. \r\n“Flirt, touch and have fun together. I call this ‘eroticizing daily interactions;’ you (likely) can’t go from talking about your dog’s bowel movements to tearing one another’s clothes off, so make time for personal and intimate conversations.”\r\nOr, try some sensual touch that feels lightly erotic rather than simply cute or comforting. \r\n“Make exploration a slow, playful practice,” Tomchesson suggests. “Starting at the feet and moving up to the head, explore every area with different types of touch — caress, squeeze, tickle, light spanking, vibration, scratching — and note reactions. Take your time; the goal is discovery, not a checklist. Over time you’ll build a shared ‘pleasure map’ you can return to and expand.”\r\n5. Pursue New Experiences\r\nAre things feeling stale? This may surprise you, but the opposite of stale is fresh. Trying new things together (even if they seem a little silly at first) can go a long way towards helping you liven things up. \r\n“Continually trying new and different things can help to keep the sex exciting, whether that’s sharing or acting on fantasies, introducing sex toys, or having sex in new positions or locations,” says Lehmiller.\r\n \r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life \r\n“If you’re trying new things (and they feel a little risky or uncomfortable), you’re more likely to turn off autopilot and pay attention with curiosity, which can heighten passion and pleasure,” says O’Reilly.\r\n \r\n6. Explore Non-Vanilla Options\r\nLots of people have their kinks figured out early on, but that’s not the case for everyone, and many more people experience their kinks as secret fantasies they don’t share with their partners. \r\nWhile it’s true that exploration and not list-making can be a great approach, for other couples, doing something like a yes/no/maybe list can help shine a light on potential areas to break new ground in.\r\n \r\nIf your sex life has been fairly vanilla thus far, or you’ve found one particular kinky thing you both like and have stuck with it, trying some more out-there stuff that one or both of you have been meaning to try, whether it’s BDSM, role-playing, fetishes or any of the other traditional ways to spice things up, could genuinely yield positive results. \r\nRELATED: How to Spice Up Your Sex Life\r\n \r\n7. Make Each Other Feel Appreciated\r\nThere are lots of reasons a person’s sex drive may be flagging that don’t have anything to do with their sense of attraction to a partner. One big thing on that list is making sure your partner feels appreciated, an issue that women in particular have flagged as something they need from their partners. \r\n“A person may not have a sex drive because they’re stressed outside the bedroom,” says Zane. “After doing laundry, cooking dinner, picking up the kids, and just living a hectic life, the last thing they want to do is have sex.”\r\n“So what if you, their partner, picked up some of the chores? Made her life easier so she’s less stressed?” he suggests. “What if you picked up dinner on your way home from work instead of having her cook? What if you did the dishes? What if you did things that make your partner’s life easier and make her feel appreciated? That could really help your partner’s sex drive return.”\r\nRELATED: Reasons She Stopped Having Sex, Revealed\r\n \r\nIt may sound corny, but there’s a reason people joke about men doing chores as being “porn for women.” Lowering your partner’s mental load by taking things off their plate can help them de-stress and get back into a nice, sexy frame of mind. \r\nAnd of course, feeling appreciated yourself can also help rekindle things. That’s not to say that one of you doing the laundry one time or giving the other cooing compliments will instantly rejuvenate your sex life, but every journey begins with a single step.\r\n \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThis Is How to Keep a Relationship InterestingHow to Talk About Your Unsatisfying Sex Life Understanding the Most Common Female Libido Killers", "keywords": "What, Know, About, Long-Term, Relationship, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/long-term-relationship-sex/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1763131301.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/long-term-relationship-sex.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112933", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Pocket-Sized Dates for the Holidays", "title_slug": "pocket-sized-dates-for-the-holidays", "title_hash": "2500a23e5ffaa1e2acdc848a396b1064", "summary": "Stay connected this holiday season with pocket-sized games and activities you can toss in your purse. Perfect for flirty date moments on the go!\nThe post Pocket-Sized Dates for the Holidays appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Stay connected this holiday season with pocket-sized games and activities you can toss in your purse. Perfect for flirty date moments on the go!

The post Pocket-Sized Dates for the Holidays appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Pocket-Sized, Dates, for, the, Holidays", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Screenshot-2025-11-13-at-7.22.05-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/pocket-sized-dates-for-the-holidays/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-17 07:45:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "112708", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m Losing My Daughter Because Of My Wife’s Deception", "title_slug": "im-losing-my-daughter-because-of-my-wifes-deception", "title_hash": "c0caaaf00d4f380006bd5dffa3a126f1", "summary": "If there is one thing fatherhood has taught me, it is that the people who are supposed to stay sometimes don’t. And the ones who promise to stay sometimes change …", "content": "

If there is one thing fatherhood has taught me, it is that the people who are supposed to stay sometimes don’t. And the ones who promise to stay sometimes change their minds when it matters most. I have come to learn this because of my daughter, Baaba. She is six years old now, a little glow of sunshine who calls me Daddy Davi because, according to her, “it sounds nicer.” I always laugh when she says that. Children have a way of healing you without even knowing what they’re fixing.

I didn’t have the best relationship with her mother, Maabena. In fact, the relationship died immediately after Baaba was born. We disagreed on everything; parenting, finances, family. It was like we were two people trying to love from different planets. When she was ready to move on with her life and marry another man, she dropped Baaba on me like a task she no longer wanted to do.“This is your child too. I’ve done my best for three years. It’s your turn now,” she said.

I will never forget that day. Baaba was barely three, holding a small pink school bag and clutching a teddy bear. She didn’t understand what was happening. She just kept looking between us, confused. I took her to my mother, who took to her instantly. My mother raised me alone after my father died, so she knows how to love with everything inside her.

But I visited Baaba every chance I got. I took her to playgrounds, bought her toys and sweets and dresses, braided her hair myself sometimes when my mother was tired, helped her with homework, and taught her to pray before she slept. She loved seeing me. Every time she heard my voice, I would hear her tiny feet hitting the floor as she ran toward the door. “Daddy Davi! You’ve come!” she would shout. Those were my healing moments.

Two years later, I met Louisa. Beautiful, soft-spoken, God-fearing or at least she looked it. She had that kind of gentleness that made you want to treat her like glass. I fell fast, I fell deep, and I fell believing that this was the woman God had finally sent to me after all the storms. From the very beginning, I told her about Baaba. I didn’t want secrets. I didn’t want drama. I didn’t want problems in my new chapter. Louisa smiled and said, “It’s okay. Once we are together, your child becomes my child too.”

I should have known that some sentences are easier said than lived.

When I took her home to meet my mother and Baaba, it was like a dream. Baaba bonded with her immediately. She kept sitting on Louisa’s lap, playing with her hair, asking her to draw butterflies for her. Louisa responded with warmth or at least that’s how it looked. She bought gifts, sweets, toys, small dresses. Every weekend she asked me, “Are you bringing Baaba? I want to see her.”

I was convinced I had found the perfect woman, someone who would love my daughter like her own. I started thanking God for restoring the joy I thought I had lost. Even during our two-year courtship, Baaba was always part of our plans. We promised each other we would bring her home as soon as we married.

Then we got married and everything changed. The first time I said, “It’s time to bring Baaba home,” Louisa smiled and said,
\n“We just started. Why don’t we wait a little while?”

I didn’t argue. Relationships require patience. So I waited. A year passed. When I brought it up again, she said,
\n“Why don’t we wait until we have our own child first? It will help Baaba bond easily if she comes to meet her sibling.”

It sounded reasonable. And because I wanted peace in my home, I agreed again. Then another year passed. And another. We’ve been married four years now, and there is no child. My heart aches, not because of the empty womb, but because of the empty promises. Every time I mention Baaba, Louisa finds a new excuse. A new delay. A new gentle, sweet-sounding reason to keep my daughter away.

But this last argument broke something inside me. I told her I couldn’t wait anymore. I needed my daughter. I was losing her because she was growing without me. And I couldn’t keep showing up at my mother’s house like a visitor. Louisa looked me straight in the eye and said, “It’s because you already have a child that’s why you’re not serious about giving me mine. If you bring Baaba in, you will forget me.”

Forget her? How? How do I forget the woman I moved heaven and earth for? How do I forget the woman I chose after heartbreak?
\nForget the woman I prayed over? I was hurt. Deeply.Painfully. Because she didn’t see how much this was killing me, that Baaba had already been abandoned once and now she was being abandoned again. This time, by me., her father.

Baaba doesn’t know what’s happening. She still calls me every night and says, “Daddy, when will I sleep in your house? When will I come and stay with you and mommy? I want to watch cartoons on your big TV.”

Each question slices me open like a knife. She doesn’t understand why the man who used to show up every weekend now comes once in a while. She doesn’t know why I hesitate when she asks if she can visit me. She doesn’t know I am choosing between the daughter who didn’t choose her pain and the wife who wants everything her way.

Louisa is sweet but beneath that sweetness is a cunningness I refused to see. She always gets what she wants. She knows how to twist her voice to make her selfishness sound like wisdom. But now I’m tired. I lie awake at night staring at the ceiling and asking myself: How long can a father wait to be a father? Why must I choose between marriage and my own child? Is this what love is supposed to look like?

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

Baaba deserves better than this. I deserve better than this. But right now, I’m stuck, confused, hurting, and scared that if I force the issue, Louisa might treat Baaba with the same resentment she hides behind her polite smile. And I cannot bring my child into a home where she won’t be loved. So I am asking…

What am I supposed to do? Because right now, it feels like I’m losing my daughter and losing myself too.

—David

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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Some time ago, I found out that my man was cheating on me but that’s not the problem. I admit, discovering he was living a double life broke me in ways I can’t even explain. On top of that, when the issue came up, he said some very hurtful things to me. I found myself questioning my worth, and everything we had built together over the years.

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Earlier in our relationship, I got pregnant but we agreed not to keep it. It was a difficult and emotional experience for me, something I carried heavily in my spirit. So when I found out he was unfaithful, something in me snapped.

In my anger and heartbreak, I said things I shouldn’t have said. I pronounced some curses over his life. I mentioned the aborti(o)n and it happened that I was on my period that day. I used the blood for the curses.

I did not summon any deity, I don’t know any. It was just raw pain and anger speaking through me. But now that the emotions have settled, I deeply regret everything I said.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

I have verbally revoked all the curses. I have prayed and used my own mouth to cancel every negative word I uttered. But my worry is that I don’t know if revoking it by myself is enough.

I keep thinking about it. I panic when I wonder whether the words I said in my moment of rage can still have an effect. I don’t want bad things to happen to him because of my words. I don’t want to feel spiritually responsible for however his life turns out.

What else can I do? Is there a proper way to ensure that everything I said out of pain no longer holds any power?

—Shishi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

\n#SB

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I have been carrying this burden for twelve years, always in silence. What finally gave me the courage to speak was reading another man’s story on this page. His account of a wife with a sense of entitlement felt like I was looking into a mirror. I have been married for twelve years now, and we have three children with the oldest being ten years old.

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To be perfectly honest, I married my wife because of her beauty. She was only nineteen then, and I truly believed she was the most beautiful girl in the world. The fear that I would lose her if I delayed, or that someone else would “chop” her before me, was a constant worry in my mind. I had just finished my degree and was doing my national service, surviving on that small NSS allowance. But the fear was stronger than the struggle, and so we married.

For years, I have endured this marriage, but the real trouble started about six years ago. It is as if she now believes she deserves much more than what I am providing. This whole situation has weighed on me so heavily that there have been times I have had thoughts of ending my own life.

The painful irony is that I might be the one who caused this change. After our first child, she suffered from serious spinal and joint pain. We tried everything, even bone setters, but nothing worked. My solution was to register her at a fitness club. The training helped her pain, yes, but it also exposed her to a new circle of people. The woman who came back from that place was different. She became arrogant and disrespectful and started with this habit of subtly comparing me to other men, saying I do not care for her enough or love her properly. Her gratitude vanished, replaced by a sense of entitlement that I cannot seem to satisfy.

The truth is, I entered this marriage unprepared. Just like in that other story, she was an SHS graduate with poor results. I tried to help her; I registered her for NOV/DEC classes. When those results were even worse, I took it upon myself to tutor her. Still, the results were not good.

We finally agreed that trading was the best path for her. We started a roadside business selling Ghana-made sandals. I was fully committed. I would leave the house as early as 5 am to set up the spot for her. She would come and take over around 7:30 am, and then I would go to my own work. We did this for almost three years, and things were good. She was transparent with the money, showing me everything. By God’s grace, we were able to build our own house.

But just one month after we moved in, we were robbed in broad daylight because the house was empty. To prevent this from happening again, I decided to set up a provision shop for her right at home. I invested heavily. I bought a double-decker fridge and a deep freezer and gave her a cash amount of 10,000 Ghc. This was six years ago, my people, not in today’s inflated economy.

Ever since that shop started, everything changed. My wife has never once told me if the business is making a profit or loss. I have tried to give her ideas because trading is my field, but she will not listen. Her method is to buy one bar of soap, sell it, remove her profit, and then go and buy another single bar. Meanwhile, she could buy ten at once. A proper business does not run out of stock when customers come, but my wife seems to think that if she keeps 10 cedis for 10 years without using it, the value remains the same. Now, she hides everything from me. I do not know the worth of the business, and she always claims she has no money. How can I put more money into a venture shrouded in such secrecy?

This secrecy even extends to her family. Last month, I overheard her phone conversation with her mother. She had sent money and was trying to tell her mother the amount by saying “2, 2, 2,” while her mother, who is illiterate, kept asking, “How much?” Let me be clear, I am not against her helping her family. In fact, if she had told me and the amount was small, I could have added to it. I have done many things for her family from a pure heart, without seeking praise.

I am the one who buys everything in this house, from the roof over our heads to the food we eat, even down to her underwear. I want her business to grow because no one knows tomorrow, but her concealment of finances leaves me pained and disappointed.

The problem is, I am not a man who likes to rant. I keep my troubles to myself and die slowly inside, all because of what people might say. To outsiders, she looks quiet and gentle. But at home, she is more vocal than a cricket, also known as “Tiger.” For every one word I say, she has ten ready. My other weakness is that my own spirit falls when I see her sad.

Lately, my blood pressure has been giving me serious trouble because of all this emotional stress. Our sex life is almost dead. I am always the one to initiate, and she only agrees when she is in the mood, which means she just lies there like a piece of wood. The sad part is, I never know when that mood will come. She can go for months without sex, and it does not bother her. I am the direct opposite. I cannot go a week without it, but she does not care. This neglect once led me to cheat, something I deeply regret and stopped because it is not in my character. The temptation still comes, but the guilt always holds me back. After four years of this, it is clear to me that her love for me is gone. She is only here for the financial security.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

Now, I am considering travelling abroad for greener pastures. I feel I need to build a safety net for myself and my children because I do not believe my wife will be there for me if I ever fall on hard times. There are times we are both at home, and she will prepare breakfast only for herself, without even asking if I will eat. Mind you, she uses the foodstuffs I bought. Meanwhile, I cannot do the same to her. When I cook, I always call her name and make sure she has a share.

Beyond how she treats me, I am very concerned about our children. She is abusive with them. She is the type who believes children have no feelings. They must agree with everything she says and eat whatever is given to them, even when they desire something else. She is that domineering. I am the complete opposite.

My people, I am tired. I am stressed. I am running out of hope. Please, I need your ideas. What should I do?

—Melvin

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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If being handsome was a curse, then God used me as the example. When God was giving people wisdom, money, and talent, He gave me beauty. Fresh boy. The type that makes girls forget their own names. Growing up, people kept telling me, “Yaw, your face will take you far.” But nobody told me that “far” could also mean the hospital bed.

I’ve been broke most of my life. The kind of broke where having gari in my room felt like a huge blessing. I kept applying for office jobs, but nobody was taking me. One day, the owner of a company looked at my face, shook his head and said: “Young man, we can’t employ you here. If we do, you’ll finish the ladies for us.”

I smiled, but something hit—that at least someone had finally admitted what I always suspected. That women liked me a lot. That’s when I decided to diversify my romantic portfolio. I went for the kind of women who could take care of me, and I got them easily. Even when I had nothing, these women always found a way to take care of me. They bought me food, clothes, shoes, even paid my transport. I told myself, “Ah, so this is my gift. Let me use it well.”

Before I knew it, I was dating eight women. Don’t judge me. Life was hard. The economy was harder, but my looks were free. Two of the women, I didn’t even know their real names. I saved them as “Fair Girl Shoprite” and “Ama Spanner” because I met her at Spanner junction. Three others owned shops where I could walk in and eat like a king. The other three? They provided money, airtime, and emotional support depending on the day.

My life was set. Breakfast with one. Lunch with another. Supper with the third, and compliments from all eight. I was unstoppable until God decided it was time to humble me. One morning, I woke up and couldn’t stand properly. My legs were shaking, my body was hot, my stomach was fighting, my head was spinning. I panicked. With my history of “community service,” I thought it was one of those STDs. Then the worst happened.

I was in bed for weeks, so the women started visiting, but they started coming in pairs. Before I knew it, two of them had collided in my small room. Then confusion started. One shouted, “Who are you?” The other answered, “Who are you too?” It turned into a fight. I couldn’t take care of my own self, let alone shout at them to stop. They pulled wigs. Screamed. Threw hands. I was lying in my bed like a vegetable exposed to fire.

Then something happened that I will never forget. They began pushing each other, and in the process, they pushed me. I fell from my bed and landed on the floor like a bag of rice. Nobody even helped me up. They were too busy insulting each other. By the time the dust settled, all of them left with their gifts, their food, and their affection. Even the one who brought me waakye took her spoon back.

It was my parents and siblings who stood by me. When I got better, the sickness had humbled me so much that even my cheekbones resigned from their duties. My “fine boy glow” had vanished. That was when I learned my lesson: “When you play with people’s hearts for fun, the punishment that comes will humble your ancestors.”

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

Now I’ve gotten a job, a real one. Not because of my looks but because of my CV and seriousness. Now I tell myself: “When you play with people’s hearts for fun, the punishment that comes will humble not only you but your ancestors too.”

—Yaw

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I met Patricia when I was in the university. We became like sisters. Our families got to know each other. Because of that, I attended funerals in her family and she reciprocated the gesture. After school, we did our national service in the same company. Only that she was in another region while I was in the Greater Accra region. The distance didn’t tear us apart.

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After national service, I took a transfer to the region she was in. We were both retained by the company after service. While I was preparing to move she proposed that I move in with her. I agreed. We were sisters, after all. This was around 2014 – 2015. In 2016, I got married. Patricia was my made of honour.

After marriage, we lived in a two-bedroom apartment, me and Patricia. My husband used to go and come, because of the distance between us. When I got pregnant, it was my sister who took care of me. Hospital appointments, she was by my side. Morning sickness, she was my nurse. Everything that had to do with my wellbeing, she was there to take care of me.

My mother was constantly praying for her, that just as she was doing it for me, God should give her a good man and a family of her own. Even when I gave birth, our friendship was still strong. At some point, we lived in different towns within the same region but our friendship was unaffected.

Eventually, I moved back to Accra when I gave birth to my second born. Then in 2021, she married a guy she had been dating since our university days. My mother and siblings all showed up to support her. I was as happy as I was on my wedding day.

She wanted me to be her maid of honour but I had a big role in wedding planning so another one of colleagues had to do it. Nonetheless, my daughter was one of her flower girls. The night before the wedding she called to tell me she needed GHS800 urgently to pay for her gown. I asked my husband to send her the money.

Another time, she asked for GHS2,000. This time around I didn’t say yes. I told her that I would have to ask my husband to help her. A few minutes later she called to say she had gotten the money.

After the ceremony, she made a post on her WhatsApp status about friends who disappoint you. I replied asking, “Madam, is everything okay? Who has done you dirty?” She told me I was not her only friend and that if the cap fits me, I should wear it. I was surprised.

After some back and forth she accused me of badmouthing her at her wedding. I did no such thing. But according to her, somebody overheard me saying she (Patricia) married a man who was only after her money. First of all, why would I say such a thing about my own sister? Even if I would, why say it at her wedding?

I tried to defend myself but she cut me off. I think she even blocked me and then changed her number. I got her new number and asked my husband to call her for me. She still acted as if I am someone she didn’t want to talk to. So I sent word to her that I would like my money back, the one she borrowed for the gown. Her response suggested she didn’t want to pay the money. So that was how our friendship ended in 2021.

Somewhere in 2023, she called my siblings and asked them to beg for my forgiveness. I told her I had forgiven her but we could never be as close as we were. She said she was sorry. “Whoever gossiped about you to me on my wedding day just wanted to ruin our friendship. I should have known better that you wouldn’t do that to me.” Despite all the time that has passed since we last spoke, I chose to give her another chance.

When my father passed, she called and asked that we plan the funeral. She listed activities she would like to do to help. I agreed and put my hopes on her. Just a week to the funeral she told me she wouldn’t make it and that she was heavily.

The only I asked myself was, “If she knew she was pregnant then why did she put me in a position where I would have to count on her? Is she playing with my emotions? She even called on the day of the funeral that her husband would show up. He didn’t.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

After the funeral, I just had to accept that sometimes people change when they get married. Their focus becomes their husband and their children, that’s fine with me. In case you are wondering, I never did that to her. She could visit me and spend days in my house. My children called her their godmother.

We were close until she got married. At first, losing her was painful but now I have decided to let her go. I don’t pick her calls as often as I used to. We are barely even friends now. She goes about telling people that I have detached from her and that’s fine with me. I have made peace with the fact that even strongest friendships can break when seasons change.

—Harriet

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

\n#SB

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Republicans want Americans to have more babies. But in practice, more people than ever are trying to prevent pregnancy by seeking out long-acting birth control. Requests for intrauterine devices (IUDs) and sterilization, in particular, surged among women after President Donald Trump was elected to a second term in 2024.

Around the world, about 1 in 5 women of reproductive age use either a hormonal or copper IUD, which can prevent pregnancy for 8-to-12 years, depending on the device. This birth control method has become quite popular in the U.S. in recent years. In one 2022 study, participants were more likely to pick long-acting contraception like IUDs over options like pills when cost and access weren’t barriers.

Still, many people associate IUDs with pain. For years, medical providers have underestimated the pain of forcibly dilating the cervix and sticking a T-shaped device into the uterus.

This has translated into insufficient pain management. As of 2025, roughly 5 percent of patients get any type of anesthetic or other medication during IUD insertion. That’s up from about 2 percent in 2018, but it still means pain is part of the process for many people.

I didn’t even know I could ask for pain management when I got my first IUD at age 20 in Florida. Ten years later, I’ve had three IUDs put in, each in a different country, and I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to hurt—or be filled with anxiety.

In hopes of helping other IUD patients advocate for themselves, I talked to two patients, a researcher, and an OB-GYN about what makes for a successful IUD insertion. They all agree: The provider’s attitude towards the patient is essential—and research backs this up.

The U.S. in 2014: $50 and some mild cramping

I remember my mom shushing me in embarrassment when, at age 17, I told her in a restaurant that I wanted to go on birth control. The gynecologist she eventually sent me to didn’t inform me that there were different options I could choose from. Instead, I was given a prescription for hormonal birth control pills.

Three years later, a classmate in college told me the IUD was better at preventing pregnancy; it’s over 99 percent effective, whereas birth control pills are about 93 percent effective. I decided to make the switch.

Again, I didn’t choose from a menu of options here: I was offered the Mirena, a plastic IUD that releases a very low level of progesterone into the body to prevent pregnancy. My gynecologist said the copper IUD was for people who had already had kids. (This is a common misconception, and, for what it’s worth, it’s a false one. Anyone can get a copper IUD, which prevents pregnancy without hormones.)

I went to a clinic in Florida, where my family lived, and paid $50. Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, I was still on my mother’s insurance. Without coverage, the procedure can cost up to about $2,000.

I had mild cramping during the procedure, and for three days after. I wasn’t given any pain management, nor was I counseled on pain relief. I was just told someone should drive me home after, and that I should rest. I couldn’t take ibuprofen, a medication commonly recommended to ease IUD insertion pain, because I’m allergic. I stayed on the couch with a heating pad for the rest of the day.

My experience of mild, manageable pain is hardly universal. I spoke with two women whose IUD stories reveal how much patient care can vary.

Katie, 32, had her IUD placed in Illinois this past summer. Katie does not want to use her last name because she fears sharing her reproductive health information (in September, the Trump administration referred to IUDs as “abortifacient birth control”—falsely claiming that these devices cause abortions—and a South Carolina Senate bill could outlaw most contraception, including IUDs).

Katie’s procedure was scheduled after the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) echoed May 2025 guidance issued by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommending local anesthetic as an option for IUD insertion.

She said the new guidelines didn’t noticeably affect her care. She described the process as largely physician-directed, with little discussion of the differences between hormonal and copper devices.

Anxiety about pain led her to cancel her first appointment.

“I’ve seen so many women and girls online expressing a very serious, very real fear of going to a gynecologist,” she said, adding, ”I find it very disturbing that nothing is being done to address the fear.”

Katie eventually had her IUD placed while undergoing another gynecological procedure under general anesthesia.

Costa Rica in 2020: $400 and pinching pain

I got my second IUD in Costa Rica during the COVID-19 pandemic. As a university student there, I had access to national health insurance.

Theoretically, that would make birth control free. But a school nurse told me that the public health system would only cover birth control pills. If I wanted another IUD, I’d have to pay 200,000 colones, or about $400.

That’s still true in Costa Rica today. Dr. Adam Paer, a gynecologist in San José, Costa Rica’s capital city, confirmed that the national health insurance only covers IUDs for certain health reasons, like heavy bleeding.

Back in 2020, I wanted an IUD no matter the cost. I made an appointment with an English-speaking doctor at a Catholic hospital. I asked for the Mirena again, and the consultation took less than ten minutes before I was up on the plastic table with my legs spread.

Yet again, the gynecologist didn’t explore whether other IUDs would have been more appropriate or talk about the possible side effects.

This second Mirena experience was a bit more intense than my first. My current IUD was “stuck” and wouldn’t come out the normal way—by pulling on the strings with forceps. The doctor brought in a scarier-looking metal device, called grasping forceps, and those thankfully worked.

Again, after this procedure, I had a few days of moderate cramping and bed rest. I also felt intense mood swings in the following weeks from hormonal shifts. None of my gynecologists have talked to me about this potential side effect, but dozens of IUD patients have documented similar symptoms online.

And, again, I wasn’t offered any pain management in Costa Rica—even when things got complicated. And I felt dismissed when I asked questions. For example, I asked what I could do if the pain got worse, and the doctor told me that most women don’t even need painkillers. (Maybe that’s because he never thought to offer them.)

Paer told me he provides pain management for IUD insertions—ranging from an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen to local anesthesia, and will even consider sedation “in extreme cases,” though he said the anesthesia fees lead to an increased cost. Paer finds that the main barrier to getting an IUD for private patients is affordability: roughly $500 in Costa Rica, all told. But pain is an issue, too.

“A lot of women come in for the IUD and they’re really scared of the pain,” he said, adding, “Some doctors don’t take that into account.”

Research shows that fear can make the experience worse.

Belgium in 2023: $0 and a breeze

At age 29, I decided to get off the hormones and switch to a copper IUD. Again, I was living abroad, in Belgium, while pursuing my studies in global health at Ghent University. My university hospital was doing a study on IUD placement, so I enrolled and got the device for free.

That doesn’t make me particularly lucky in Belgium. As of 2025, the copper IUD is free for all patients under 25; for patients above that age, with most Belgian private health insurances, it costs up to €150, or about $173.

Before my IUD insertion was scheduled, I got an ultrasound, and my uterine cavity was measured. That’s standard procedure in Belgium, and it should be everywhere else, too, said Rina Wildemeersch, a Belgian IUD researcher.

“It’s all about the size of the cavity and getting the right device,” she explained.

This time, too, I was given misoprostol—the same cervix-softening drug that is frequently used in medication abortions—to help dilate my cervix, as well as local anesthesia.

The whole process was efficient. For the first time, I felt like I was properly prepared—both mentally and emotionally. If there was going to be pain or discomfort, there was a plan in place.

I was told I could ask for anesthesia at any time. I remember digging my nails into the side of the exam table while I rated my pain a seven out of ten, at the gynecologist’s request. He quickly stopped and came back with a needle.

I don’t know how much the local anesthesia helped with the pain, but I felt empowered by asking for help and receiving it. I remember thinking I could scream in pain if I wanted to, and I did. I could communicate how I felt while a piece of metal was thrust inside of me as medical students observed.

The Belgium procedure epitomizes what’s called “patient-centered care”—that is, health care that prioritizes the patient’s particular needs, preferences, values, and experiences.

This is the kind of care that seems to be largely missing in the U.S.

Aria Bercovich, a 44-year-old mother in California, has had two IUDs, one in 2005 and another in 2010. Both experiences went badly. The first, a copper device, was removed after three years because Bercovich experienced extreme pain when it became twisted.

“It was so painful,” she recalled. “It was awful.”

She tried a hormonal IUD five years after the first insertion. The insertion, she said, was “far worse than giving birth.”

In the days that followed, Bercovich experienced intense cramping, vomiting, and fatigue. She went to the hospital multiple times.

“I kept saying something was wrong, but they told me to just take ibuprofen,” she said.

After ten days of severe pain and repeated visits, the device was finally removed.

IUDS in the news

As a group, IUD users do not need either zero pain management or complete sedation.

Most of us fall somewhere in between: A Dutch study from 2025 found that half of all respondents felt “unbearable” or “severe” pain with IUD insertion; about one-quarter had “average” pain; and the rest reported minimal or no pain.

In addition to pain-management recommendations, the new CDC guidelines also promote individualizing the informed consent conversation.

Many American OB-GYNs, in other words, could learn a lot just by asking IUD patients what they want—and then listening. Because there are better and worse ways to feel “just a pinch.”

The post I Got Birth Control in Three Different Countries—Here’s How the U.S. Stacks Up appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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When doctors talk about breast cancer risk, they tend to focus on genetics, age, and certain lifestyle factors like smoking or drinking—not work. But a new peer-reviewed study suggests that U.S. immigrant women’s jobs may compound their risk of breast cancer.

\n\n\n\n

Researchers at the Silent Spring Institute, a Massachusetts-based lab, cross-referenced national labor data with findings from the Women’s Occupational Risk from Chemicals Project, to identify which jobs carry the greatest risks of exposure to “breast cancer-relevant chemicals” (BCRCs). These chemicals are known to interfere with hormones or damage DNA in ways that can raise breast cancer risk.

\n\n\n\n

The study, published in October 2025 in the Journal of Exposure Science & Environmental Epidemiology, found that immigrant women are disproportionately employed in occupations with a high potential of exposure to BCRCs. These include roles where people come into more frequent contact with antimicrobials, phthalates, and other cleaning and maintenance products linked to cancer.

\n\n\n\n

The researchers found that immigrant women with less education and limited English proficiency are more likely to work in the kind of lower-wage, physically demanding jobs where exposure to BCRCs is higher. These are the very roles that keep hospitals, homes, and communities running—and they’re putting workers’ lives at risk.

\n\n\n\n

The paper marks what the lead author, Kristin Knox, described to Rewire News Group as a “pilot.” The Silent Spring Institute—which was founded in 1994 by activists from the Massachusetts Breast Cancer Coalition following their discovery of a local breast cancer cluster on Cape Cod, Mass.—has now identified more than 900 “mammary toxicants” that may be linked to breast cancer, which will inform its future research on occupation-specific chemical exposures.

\n\n\n\n

RNG spoke with Knox, a data scientist who studies health hazards, to learn more about what the study means for the millions of immigrant women working in the U.S., and how it will shape the organization’s future research on job-related breast cancer risks.

\n\n\n\n

The original interview was conducted via video. It has been edited for length and clarity, and includes information from emailed follow-ups.

\n\n\n\n

What is your main takeaway from what you’ve found so far?

\n\n\n\n

The most common jobs held by immigrant women include house cleaners, nurses, cashiers, janitors, and care aides. Among those jobs, house cleaners and nurses face the highest potential chemical exposures. …

\n\n\n\n

[This study] was an attempt to figure out what occupations we should focus on more. …

\n\n\n\n

The other thing I want to point out—we’re highlighting occupations that are relevant for immigrant women and that have a high likelihood of breast cancer-relevant exposures. But those breast cancer exposures are not just relevant for immigrant women in those occupations, they’re relevant for all women in those occupations.

\n\n\n\n

What do you think this means for these workers?

\n\n\n\n

One of the authors on the paper, Jenny Ohayon, has a background in qualitative research … She was conducting focus groups and interviews trying to understand how much control these women have in their workplace. How much training are they getting in terms of wearing the right personal protective equipment and what procedure they should be following if they need to use a certain hazardous substance?

\n\n\n\n

We’re most worried about the occupations where there are exposures that are bad, and the workers aren’t really empowered to try and change them. Part of that is a worker power issue, but part of it is also an education issue.

\n\n\n\n

Why are so many toxic chemicals being used in the first place?

\n\n\n\n

In the United States, you don’t test [many] chemicals [for potential toxicity] before you put them into products. It’s very different than Europe.

\n\n\n\n

The EU takes a precautionary approach to chemicals, whereas the U.S. takes a more reactionary approach. More specifically, in the EU, generally, companies have to submit results from safety testing before they can use a chemical in a product, whereas in the U.S., companies aren’t required to demonstrate safety before use.

\n\n\n\n

Why do you feel like this is important research to be doing right now?

\n\n\n\n

Women’s occupational exposures, like much of women’s health, is completely understudied. … All the early occupational studies were only on men … and although they can get breast cancer, it’s very rare. For me, this is just focusing research on [women]. …We think that many of these chemicals are relevant for breast cancer because they do things to our hormone levels, and obviously women’s hormones are very different from men’s hormones.

\n\n\n\n

Is there anything I haven’t asked that you think is important to let people know about this study?

\n\n\n\n

My hope is that people will start to educate themselves, and rather than just assume that the world around us and the products on our shelves are safe, accept that this isn’t always the case.

\n\n\n\n

Not that the onus should be on the individual, but at least there are things you can do to educate yourself and lower your exposures.

\n\n\n

The post Immigrant Women More Exposed to Breast Cancer Risks At Work appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Transcript (coming soon!)

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post What It’s Like Suing Trump in Court Over SNAP Funding (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The day my husband’s pastor preached at our wedding, I knew he wasn’t a good man and ought to be avoided. He preached about marriage and said all the archaic things some elders would say about marriage, making me, the woman, the sole person to carry the marriage on my head if it was going to be successful. But you see, I forgave him because I believed that was the only time he would have the opportunity to speak into our marriage.

I’m not the kind to carry my marital issues out there for all to see that I’m having marital issues, so right from the beginning, when things were not working, I tried to be vocal about it. The first thing was the number of hours my husband spent in church during the week. He’s the head of many committees in the church, so from Monday to Sunday, the church requires his presence. He would leave work, go to church, and then come to the house late in the evening.

I told him, “You’re not the only man in the church. You have a family now. Give some of the positions away so you can have time for your family.” He told me he wouldn’t allow marriage to come between him and his God.

When I was in the hospital giving birth, my husband was in church for a youth retreat program. I saw him hours later when I’d delivered. His mom was with me. I complained to her. My mother-in-law took the matter up and rebuked him when he came to the hospital. He accused me of selling him out to his mother.

I thought the presence of the baby would change him. Maybe he didn’t know how to be a husband but would know how to be a father. I was wrong. He left all the work for me. He wouldn’t even wash the plate he’d eaten from. I told him, “Sometimes I need help around the house. You can help me do the laundry. You can take the laundry off the line or fold it for me. You can pick the baby up so I can have free hands.”

According to him, when a baby cries, he needs breast milk, and since he doesn’t have milk in his breast, he couldn’t be of help. The only time I had proper rest was when his mother was around. Four years and two kids later, nothing changed. When he needed help financially, I lent a hand. Not only that, but because I earn more than him, he looked up to me to take up certain financial responsibilities, which to me is fair, but he wouldn’t lend a hand in anything because he’s a man. A husband.

I confided in the wife of our pastor and told her the problems I was facing in my marriage when she asked why I didn’t come to church often but my husband was always there. I told her everything. I did that because my husband respected that woman a lot. I knew if she said something to him, there would be a change in my husband. The woman saw my problem and told me she would work on it. I was very happy about it.

One day, the woman told me to wait after church because she had a meeting with me and my husband. Immediately we sat down and I realized our pastor was going to sit in the meeting, I knew nothing would be resolved. The mother of the church asked me to repeat the issues I spoke to her about, and I did. My husband wouldn’t let me finish my story. Every step of the way he interjected, and because I wanted to make my point, I pushed through his interjection and at some point asked him, “Won’t you let me speak?”

Our pastor took over: “I can see a marriage where a wife wants to usurp the role of the husband. The little I’ve seen here shows the bigger problem you two are facing in the house.”

This man painted me as the worst wife he’d come across for asking my husband to help around the house. “Why do you want your husband to do chores? What’s your use as a wife? You want your husband to sweep the house while you sleep? Cook for you and serve you in bed? That’s the kind of nonsense you women of today learn from social media.”

According to him, that is not God’s intention for the man. A man has to lead, and a leader can’t concern himself with chores when he’s busy leading. His wife wanted to talk, but this pastor wouldn’t cede the floor to her. After holding the floor for what looked like forever, he prayed for us and charged us to go home and continue being who we were, playing our roles as a husband and a wife.

That very day, I stopped going to church. The only reason I sat through the meeting was because of the respect I had for his wife. I told my husband, “I’m no longer a member of your church if that’s what your pastor thinks about marriage.” “You’re leaving the church because he told you the truth?” he asked me. I answered, “I’m leaving the church because a man like him might end our marriage for us.”

For over four months I didn’t go to church. The pastor’s wife called and asked why. I respect that woman so much I couldn’t tell her the truth. I told her I’d been busy with work and school stuff but would come very soon. My husband had already told the pastor the truth behind why I wasn’t going to church, so one day the pastor’s wife called and asked me to be in church by all means.

I went with my husband and we met them again after church. The pastor asked why I hadn’t been coming to church. I knew my husband had told him the truth, so there was no need to lie. I told him, “I don’t come to church because I’ve left. I’m looking for a new place where they preach a better concept of marriage.”

He got angry and started ranting. Again, he blamed my generation and what we’ve picked up from social media. He warned that if I don’t take care, the devil would use me to destroy the marriage. “Why do you want to belong to a different church from that of your husband? Haven’t you read that you should not be unequally yoked?”

While his wife spoke to me pleadingly, he spoke to me like he was ordering his child around. I repeated, “I’ve left the church. You can keep my husband here because he loves it so much here. This is the only place he’s elevated for being a bad husband and a father.”

The pastor looked at my husband and said, “You see the reason I always tell you men to pray fervently about the choice of spouse? I don’t believe you did that, Dave. But it’s not too hard for God. We’ll pray again.” I responded, “Wei…” and walked away.

These days, I don’t complain about what he does. He’s content and happy about being that kind of husband and father. Instead of talking and being worked up emotionally, I do what I can in the time I can do it and leave the rest for another day. I’m not being intentionally lazy as a response to his character. I’m only choosing my battles according to my strength. I cook for him. I cook enough to have some in the fridge. When he’s hungry, he can warm it and eat.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

He asked for financial help recently. I told him it’s not a battle I could fight, so he could look elsewhere for help. Calm. No questions. No shouting. If my God is providing for my needs according to His riches, the God that he worships twenty-four-seven should be able to do the same for him. I don’t remember the last time we even fought. I’ve realized that my problem was expecting so much from him as a husband. Once I dropped my expectations, there’s peace, but I don’t think he’s happy. That’s his own problem.

—Anna

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I haven’t been with a man intimately before but I have a boyfriend. I chose him because he was the one person who agreed to wait until marriage. All the other men I have met walked away from me when I said I wasn’t ready to give myself to them. No matter how much I liked them, my Christian upbringing wouldn’t let me bend my principles.

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Peter was not like the others. He said he would wait for as long as it would take for us to finally make it to the altar. I loved him for that.

Throughout the relationship, he has never pressured me for anything intimate. He shows up for me whenever I need him. I’ve never asked him for money, but once in a while, he sends me money. It means a lot to me because I know he doesn’t have much.

He has introduced me to his family and friends. The other he asked me, “When can I meet your family so we can start preparing for marriage?” I told him, “Hold on, I am not ready for marriage yet. Let me get my degree first.” As always, he understood.

I was sure of my place in his life but now I don’t know. Our relationship has changed. I caught him cheating on me with another lady. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it or try to gaslight me. He was remorseful.

“Forgive me,” he pleaded, “I am only with her to fulfil my sexual needs. That’s all. There are no emotions involved.”

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

I find it hard to believe his reasons for cheating because I’ve suspected the two of them for a while, even when he kept insisting she was just a friend. I feel betrayed and hurt.

I want to end things but he is always begging me for another chance. He says he would change. He has promised to focus on only me going forward. This is my first relationship. Should I believe him?

—Kabiyesi

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So, back on campus, there was this boy.

He told me he liked me and wanted us to be together. I said no. And then, as a joke, I asked him to “link” me up with his friend, because honestly, it was the friend I had my eye on.

He actually did it. He gave me his friend’s number.

I called. I played my shot. We talked, and one thing led to another. We started dating.

The funny part is that the first boy wasn’t even angry. We stayed friends. He even introduced me to his new girlfriend later on, and I was genuinely happy for him. He had moved on, and I was in a relationship with his friend for about two years. When it ended, it was peaceful. No fighting, no hard feelings. I thought that chapter was closed.

Life after school is its own story. I ran into that first boy again—the one who had proposed all those years ago. We started talking. He told me he still wanted me. He proposed again, and this time, I said yes.

I asked about his girlfriend. He told me they were still together, but it wasn’t working. He blamed the distance. I believed him, because sometimes distance does not make the heart grow fonder.

Along the way, I got pregnant.

When I told him, he said he wasn’t ready. He asked me to end the pregnancy, but I refused. I told him he was free to walk away if he wanted to. When he saw I wouldn’t change my mind, he agreed to stay. But he told me to my face, “The love I have for you is finished.”

He meant it.

Those nine months were filled with the hottest pepper you can imagine. Insults. Neglect. He showed me in every way that he wanted nothing to do with me.

And then I found the messages. I saw his chats with his “ex.” She was asking him when they would get married. It was clear they were still very much together. When I confronted him, he swore they weren’t serious. I was tired but decided to stay calm and just focus on having my baby. By God’s grace, I gave birth safely.

A couple of years later, my curiosity got the better of me. I reached out to the other woman. I had to know the truth.

She told me everything. They had never broken up. Not once. He visited her; she visited him. Then she started telling me private things about myself, details he had shared with her. I was shattered. For two days, I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I started the slow, painful work of trying to move on.

But here is my truth, the one I’m almost ashamed to admit: I still love him.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

Now he’s back. He says he wants to work things out. I even heard he told a friend he would never marry me, though he later said it was just anger talking. And a part of me, a big part, wants to give him another chance.

But the other part of me is terrified. What if I go through all that pain again? What if the insults and the neglect come back?

My heart is pulling me in one direction, but my memory is holding me back. I’m stuck right in the middle, and I don’t know which way to go.

—Evelyn

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My dad had an accident on Christmas Eve in 2007. That unfortunate event changed my family and the course of my life. One of my uncles came home and took me away to live with him. He looked like wealth and smelled like riches. He had a kind smile too. Despite his countenance, he spoke to me softly. He said, “I am your father’s brother so that makes you my son. I will take good care of you.” I believed him. I expected to live a good life wherever he was taking me.

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My uncle, indeed, was a father to me. It was his wife who treated me like a stray cat she didn’t want in her life. All my life, I saw myself as a strong person. Despite the challenges I faced living with my parents and siblings, nothing could keep me down. I always had a positive outlook on life. My uncle’s wife took that childlike hope in the world away from me.

Piece by piece, she broke me. I no longer knew who I was. I lost my self-confidence completely. I could never do anything right in that woman’s life. She criticised me for just existing.

My uncle was a contractor so he was rarely home. Sometimes he could be gone for a whole year. All I had was his wife and she made sure I knew I didn’t belong in their home. It was hell.

Her favourite punishment was starving me. It got so bad that I developed ulcers. The pain whenever I managed to eat was unbearable. So sometimes I rejected food altogether. Instead of showing concern, she accused me of eating from our neighbours — that’s why, according to her, I refused to eat her food.

She was against anyone offering me help. It was as if she wanted to see me miserable.

By JHS 2, my school uniform had turned into rags, so I borrowed one from a senior who had completed school. My uncle’s wife got angry when she saw the attire. She ranted and raved and insisted I return it. Meanwhile, my shorts were patched all over. Even seamstresses didn’t know how to mend them anymore.

The maltreatment got worse when she turned our neighbours against me. They reported everything I did, whether true or false, she didn’t care to listen to me. She would just punish me. She even started hitting my head with wood. According to her, my brain was too dull so she was activating it. If I cried, she would hit me harder. “I don’t want to see one tear drop from your eyes,” she would warn.

The only places I found peace were at church and school. I used to dread weekends and vacations because I knew what awaited me at home.

After my BECE, I worked for four months, but she took all my earnings. When I asked for my money after the results were released, she told me she used it to buy medicine for her sick daughter. That was how I lost everything I had worked for.

What hurt me most was how she pretended to be an angel whenever others shared stories of being mistreated. She played the “Holy Mary” role so convincingly that no one suspected her true nature.

Now, I’m grown and working. I earn a decent pay. By all standards, I should be a happy man but I know I am not right. That woman took something from me that no amount of money can replace — my self-confidence.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

Back in school, I used to represent my class in quizzes, but I stopped because I struggled with body odour and was constantly mocked by my classmates. I used to borrow shoes and uniforms just to participate, but the ridicule pushed me away. Sometimes I think about it and wonder if someone could have noticed me and changed my story if I had continued.

It still drains me whenever I remember how much harm she caused me. I hold nothing against her, but I can’t help asking: Why is it often that women play the cruellest roles when it comes to raising children?

—Alfred

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", "keywords": "Why, Are, Women, Cruel, Children", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/img_0660.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/why-are-women-so-cruel-to-children/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:46:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111927", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife Can’t Cook But Wants Her Mom To Cook For Us So We Pay Her", "title_slug": "my-wife-cant-cook-but-wants-her-mom-to-cook-for-us-so-we-pay-her", "title_hash": "049766979eb3c459fcd1971e78b0db97", "summary": "We’ve been married for a little less than a year. In our house, we do a lot together. We are only two, so we don’t have a lot going on …", "content": "

We’ve been married for a little less than a year. In our house, we do a lot together. We are only two, so we don’t have a lot going on here. We clean together, wash together, and have a lot of fun doing it. My wife doesn’t like cooking. Of all the strengths she has as a woman, cooking isn’t one. That is the reason she doesn’t like cooking.

If the food doesn’t burn, it will be undercooked. If it isn’t overly soggy, it will be so dry you’ll choke on it. But I don’t complain. She’s all I have.

Her mom came to visit and has spent a month here already. She was only passing through, but her health failed and she had to stay a little bit longer. Her mom cooked for us and cleaned up after us. Because her mom was around, my wife asked me to stop doing all the things I did around the house so her mom wouldn’t think her daughter was being lazy and overusing me. You know mothers and the conclusions they can draw.

Now it is time for her mom to leave, and my wife is telling me we should make her mom stay with us for a while and pay her. As for how long, she didn’t say. “See all the meals she cooks around here since she’s been around. Who’s going to handle that when she’s gone?”

Now it’s no longer a plea. It’s a whole demand; “My mom stays and helps,” she says. And since her mom is also not showing any sign of leaving, I’m beginning to believe it’s a plan she hatched with her.

I’m not angry. It’s her mom. If she wants to stay, I have no problem. At least we’ve been eating well-cooked meals. But to pay her to stay with us? Naaaa. We were doing just fine before her arrival. That won’t happen.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

I used to think I could handle her inefficiencies and take her as all I have, but the fact that she’s making this look like a major issue is also making me have a little regret for marrying a woman like her.

Her mom can stay and I won’t pay a dime, or she can leave with her mom and I still won’t pay a dime.

—Josh

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******

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Recent private-sector data indicates rising unemployment across the United States. Of all of life’s challenges, unemployment is the most stressful for me, because a steady income alleviates other worries. With a regular paycheck, I can handle grocery shopping, paying bills, and purchasing necessities like DC Metro fare and toiletries.

\n\n\n\n

The job search only adds to that stress because it feels impossible. I’ve submitted more than 100 job applications, and I am not alone. Many companies simply aren’t hiring. The ones that are hiring also rely on AI to manage job applications, and our resumes are lost in the shuffle.

\n\n\n\n

And for some Black women, basic reproductive health care is unaffordable.

\n\n\n\n

I would know. I am one of the 300,000 Black women who left the labor force between February and April 2025 this year. I became unemployed after my temporary contract as a campaign worker at a Latinx civic engagement organization ended in December 2025. In the months that followed, 300,000 more Black women left the labor force. As a result of my job loss, I lost my health insurance. And my intrauterine device (IUD)—the extremely effective birth control method I have relied on for the past decade—expires this year. I’m not sure I will be able to get a new one.

\n\n\n\n

I’m not sure I will be able to get a new one.

\n\n\n\n

Finding birth control without health insurance

\n\n\n\n

I got my current IUD, called Mirena, seven years ago because of the Obama-era Affordable Care Act (ACA). It’s my second one. My employer at the time, a tech company in Washington, D.C., provided health insurance through the D.C. marketplace, and thanks to the ACA, the IUD was covered at no cost to me.

\n\n\n\n

But it wasn’t free for me to get it. This was my second IUD, so I knew I would need to take the afternoon off from work and rest after the procedure. I also had to pay for an Uber from the doctor’s office, because pairing the discomfort of getting an IUD with being packed into a steaming D.C. Metro Center to take the Red Line back home is a bad idea. Back then, I was also able to treat myself to a nice meal after the procedure—a chicken sandwich and fries from Royal, a Bib Gourmand-winning restaurant that makes the best spuds.

\n\n\n\n

Now, I cannot afford those comforts. Since my temporary work ended early this year, I have forgone ride shares and dining out.

\n\n\n\n

One thing I cannot go without is health insurance. I have been able to get coverage through Medicaid. But in August, I realized I would need to search for a new doctor and make an appointment for IUD removal and insertion on top of my ongoing job hunt. It felt overwhelming.

\n\n\n\n

My old gynecologist does not take Medicaid. I searched for a new one that provided shame-free medical care and accepted Medicaid, many of them were in towns in Maryland—about 30 minutes from where I live. I have visited Planned Parenthood for STI testing in the past and considered returning to get my IUD replaced. But my closest Planned Parenthood clinic was defunded and no longer accepts Medicaid.

\n\n\n\n

While I was worried, I knew I couldn’t be the only one in this predicament. As of September 2025, the unemployment rate for Black women was 6.7 percent. The overall unemployment rate is 4.3 percent. Black women as a group are suffering the most from the current U.S. economic downturn.

\n\n\n\n

So I posed this question online, on LinkedIn, and in a private communications listserv: Are there any Black women out there making significant changes to their reproductive health-care plans due to being laid off?

\n\n\n\n

I heard back from five people, all of whom were Black women. These women suffering from job losses let me know that they cannot access a wide range of reproductive health-care services, including replacing an IUD and treating endometriosis.

\n\n\n\n

Planned Parenthood, which provides these kinds of services to more than 2 million people nationwide, is facing ongoing threats to its federal funding. Last month, a federal appeals court allowed President Donald Trump’s administration to enact the “big, beautiful bill”, which revoked Medicaid funding from Planned Parenthood.

\n\n\n\n

I talked to people who were as concerned as I was about changing doctors. One woman finally found a provider who correctly treated her endometriosis, but she can no longer afford her co-pays. And because she has endometriosis, a painful condition where uterine-like tissue grows outside of the uterus, she needs someone who knows her history and will treat her with dignity.

\n\n\n\n

I also talked to two women who were putting off having children. Child care is extraordinarily expensive, 12 states have near total abortion bans, and ten more have heavily restricted abortion. Additionally, as abortion is crucial medical care in case of emergency, some pregnant people in states with abortion bans don’t want to put their health at risk because they could be denied treatment.

\n\n\n\n

Even menstrual products have become difficult for some to afford. Inflation has caused pads and tampon prices to increase by 41 percent and 36 percent, respectively, since 2019.

\n\n\n\n

In September, I received a letter from the D.C. Department of Health Care Finance telling me that I will be losing my Medicaid coverage on January 1.

\n\n\n\n

The Trump administration’s recent cuts to Medicaid and federal ACA subsidies could leave up to 11.8 million more people without insurance coverage by 2034, according to health policy research nonprofit KFF. Restoring the ACA subsidies has become a key sticking point between Democrats and Republicans in the ong o ing government shutdown negotiations.

\n\n\n\n

These stressors affect many people who are unemployed. But they are perhaps most acutely affecting Black women as a population.

\n\n\n\n

At least one member of Congress has sounded the alarm.

\n\n\n\n

“Nearly 70 percent of Black women are the primary breadwinners in their households, providing for children, parents, and elders,” said Rep. Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts in a Sept. 25 press conference.

\n\n\n\n

“Economists estimated that just 2 percent of Black women being fired this year has cost our economy $37 billion,” Pressley added.

\n\n\n\n

But lawmakers have largely been silent on the issue.

\n\n\n\n

Layoffs are coming—call the gynecologist

\n\n\n\n

The Black women I talked to, who I found on LinkedIn and the communications listserv, are preparing for layoffs by scheduling medical appointments in advance, or requesting months worth of birth control pills.

\n\n\n\n

Monica, who requested a pseudonym to protect her privacy, is no stranger to navigating reproductive health through job loss. A writer in Washington, D.C., she was fired a few years ago from a federal job after taking time off for surgery and recovery to remove a two-pound uterine fibroid from her uterus.

\n\n\n\n

She eventually found work as a federal contractor at the Office of Veteran Affairs.

\n\n\n\n

So this time, when Monica got the notice that she would be among the roughly 60,000 federal workers to be fired by the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), taking care of her reproductive health needs were top on her priority list.

\n\n\n\n

“I made all my doctor’s appointments in August and had a pap smear,” she said.

\n\n\n\n

She also stockpiled a year’s worth of birth control pills, which she takes to help with heavy bleeding.

\n\n\n\n

Aaliyah Bailey, who moved from St. Louis to southern Illinois in 2025, also had to alter her health-care plans when she lost her job in January 2025.

\n\n\n\n

Bailey had an IUD inserted seven years ago and needed to consider getting a new one. (Hormonal IUDs like the Mirena may be used for up to 8 years; for copper IUDs like Paragard, the range is up to 10 years, according to Yale Medicine.) But she couldn’t get in with her St. Louis, Missouri gynecologist to replace it in time.

\n\n\n\n

“By the time I was able to make an appointment with my regular gynecologist, I didn’t have the time to schedule an appointment for a new IUD,” she said, “so the doctor wrote the prescription for the pill.”

\n\n\n\n

She took her previous IUD out in 2023 and went without birth control for a couple of years, until she visited this doctor in January of 2025.

\n\n\n\n

Now Bailey is self-employed—making about $1,000 a month—and cannot afford the cheapest option insurance through the Illinois marketplace. She uses GoodRx to get her birth control for about $10 each month.

\n\n\n\n

But she hasn’t found a new gynecologist in Illinois she’s comfortable enough with to get a new IUD. The procedure requires a lot of care and sensitivity; it can be painful to have the device inserted into the uterus, so patients often feel most comfortable having their IUD inserted by a provider with whom they have rapport.

\n\n\n\n

Bailey recently tried to get a longer-term supply of birth control to relieve the burden of having to remember to visit the pharmacy monthly, but she said her doctor’s prescription for a three-month supply was denied because Medicaid wouldn’t cover it.

\n\n\n\n

Bailey, who has a 7-year-old child from a previous relationship, considered in vitro fertilization (IVF) in early 2024 to have additional children with her current partner.

\n\n\n\n

“That is absolutely on hold now,” she said, because IVF can cost between $15,000 and $30,000 for a single cycle.

\n\n\n\n

Pregnancy is a risk some can’t afford to take

\n\n\n\n

More kids aren’t just on pause for Nikki, a Black mom in Virginia. She’s done.

\n\n\n\n

After getting laid off in February, Nikki, who asked to be identified only by her first name to protect her privacy, had a hysterectomy.

\n\n\n\n

Children are expensive. Nikki already had two. She said she had considered a tubal ligation a few years ago, but wasn’t sure if she was actually done having kids. Now, between unemployment, a costly separation from her partner, and Trump’s 2024 election to a second term, she felt like she couldn’t risk another pregnancy.

\n\n\n\n

Nikki lives in the swing state of Virginia. Abortion is legal there, but she was concerned that at some point she might not be allowed to terminate a pregnancy if needed.

\n\n\n\n

She said she felt like the circumstances forced her hand.

\n\n\n\n

“I don’t regret the decision to have the hysterectomy,” Nikki said. She added that she resents that uncertainty about the economy amidst massive job losses, and the ripple effects on her finances for the future forced her choice. She may not have elected to take extreme measures in a less volatile political and economic climate.

\n\n\n\n

Many Black women are putting off care

\n\n\n\n

Some people rush to get care before their benefits run out. Without health insurance, others are delaying essential health care or foregoing it altogether, including me.

\n\n\n\n

To save money, I have decided to not see my primary care doctor and psychiatrist unless absolutely necessary.

\n\n\n\n

When I was employed and well insured, I was at my healthiest. I was able to see the same regular providers and build rapport with them; they understood my medical history. Illness was prevented. Illness was treated.

\n\n\n\n

Now, I will be on my own if I get sick.

\n\n\n\n

Michelle White of New York City can relate. Earlier this year, White was working in nonprofit public relations in New York.

\n\n\n\n

“For the first time in my life, I had good insurance,’” she said. With her health insurance, she was finally able to meet with a doctor that specialized in endometriosis.

\n\n\n\n

She went all-in on her health.

\n\n\n\n

“I met with a gynecologist that specialized in endometriosis,” she said. “I also met with an endocrinologist that did a full panel that I always wanted for my hormonal health.”

\n\n\n\n

She had the tests done, then lost her job. In March 2025, her company restructured and eliminated 40 percent of its staff. White was among them.

\n\n\n\n

White said that continuing to see those doctors without insurance would cost up to $500 per visit.

\n\n\n\n

“And when you’re on a fixed income, that is not feasible,” she said, referring to the unemployment benefits she collected weekly from April to August 2025. Her benefits have since run out, and she is relying on savings and the generosity of her loved ones to get by.

\n\n\n\n

Finding ways to help others

\n\n\n\n

Some Black women who joined the ranks of the unemployed against their will have found an opportunity to help others in their situation.

\n\n\n\n

After Taylor DeBerry of Las Vegas was laid off in mid-2024 from her job as a social media manager at a marketing company, her first period stressed her out. It was time to purchase maxipads, but her regular brand, L. Pads, was too expensive.

\n\n\n\n

“I drove to the dollar store to see if they had another brand that was cheaper, but switching brands is difficult,” she said in an interview with Rewire News Group. “I trust the brand I like.”

\n\n\n\n

She ended up purchasing a cheaper brand, called B Pure, which is about $1.25 for ten pads from the Dollar Tree. She wondered if other unemployed people struggled with the same dilemma of whether to buy the brand they trust or the brand they can afford.

\n\n\n\n

“If I’m stressed about going to the dollar store,” DeBerry said, “I can’t be the only one experiencing this.”

\n\n\n\n

In September, DeBerry started a nonprofit called Periods of Transition to provide people who have been laid off with free menstrual products. In less than two months, DeBerry has raised more than $5,700 on GoFundMe and Threads, and has provided period products to 140 people.

\n\n\n\n

Government intervention could help

\n\n\n\n

Like Pressley, the lawmaker who has spoken out about the alarming unemployment numbers, Black women are hoping Congress intervenes to ensure their health-care coverage and improve employment rates.

\n\n\n\n

White, of New York, wants more sweeping, top-down change.

\n\n\n\n

“My hope is that we see a completely different health-care system in my lifetime,” White said.

\n\n\n\n

“I hope that the administration can look at the numbers,” she added, referring to the over 300,000 Black women who have lost their jobs this year. “There’s gotta be some form of relief.”

\n\n\n

The post How Unemployment Shaped My Reproductive Health Care—Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "How, Unemployment, Shaped, Reproductive, Health, Care—Analysis", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "50", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/period-products-affordability1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/10/how-unemployment-shaped-my-reproductive-health-care-analysis/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:34:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111680", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Democrats Responded to Anti-Trans Attacks This Year—and Won", "title_slug": "democrats-responded-to-anti-trans-attacks-this-yearand-won", "title_hash": "14775449596b06b4e99f57bdda037aa0", "summary": "LGBTQ+ rights organizations and party strategists point to wins in gubernatorial races in Virginia and New Jersey as a template heading into the 2026 midterms.\nThe post Democrats Responded to Anti-Trans Attacks This Year—and Won appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

One of the earliest signs of trouble for Kamala Harris’ Democratic presidential campaign on election night 2024 was in a state she went on to win: Virginia. Specifically, in Northern Virginia, in places like Loudoun County, a wealthy, bucolic community outside Washington, D.C.

In last week’s elections, though, as families were still finishing late dinners and returns from Virginia’s gubernatorial contest started to come in, Loudoun was an early sign that Democrat Abigail Spanberger was on the cusp of having a really good night: She ended up beating Republican Winsome Earle-Sears by 29 points in Loudoun and did 12 points better there than Harris did just a year ago. Northern Virginia accounted for nearly 90 percent of Spanberger’s victory margin in the race.

A conclusion arrived at quickly was that Spanberger deftly figured out how to respond to anti-trans attacks from her opponent and Republican interest groups in a way that Harris’ campaign never did—and she did so without throwing the vulnerable population, which has seen their protections eroded by the Trump administration, under the bus.

Earle-Sears spent between $7 million and $9 million attacking Spanberger’s record on trans rights, according to analyses of Virginia media markets. Spanberger addressed her GOP opponent’s claims in multiple interviews, as well as running a response ad of her own.

Democrats are desperate to regain the White House in 2028 and are looking for actionable strategies as they attempt to take back one or both chambers of Congress next year. So immediately after Spanberger’s victory, along with Democrat Mikie Sherrill’s 13-point win over Republican Jack Ciattarelli in New Jersey’s gubernatorial race, political strategists and progressive groups started dissecting the women’s successes for clues about how to prevail in competitive statewide contests next year.

“Abigail Spanberger made history defeating Winsome Earle-Sears—and more than $9 million of anti-trans attack ads. She did not flinch. She didn’t hide from her values. She led with them, and Virginians rewarded that courage,” Human Rights Campaign President Kelley Robinson said on a Nov. 5 call with reporters.

Human Rights Campaign, an LGBTQ+ rights organization, will be releasing a “playbook” for 2026 candidates about how to effectively respond to anti-trans attacks, based in part upon lessons drawn from the Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial contests.

Northern Virginia, for a variety of reasons—and for better or worse—is a place where national political strategy is tested and tea leaves are read. It’s commuting distance to Washington, where much of the country’s political apparatus is based. It has off-year state elections that can function as a reaction to or harbinger of federal contests the years prior and next. And it has suburbs and exurbs like Loudoun that determine the fate of statewide races.

For a long time, Virginia was a reliably Republican state. In 2008, former President Barack Obama was the first Democrat to win Virginia since a single election in the 1960s, and his victory was driven by the state’s northern suburbs. Virginia has stayed blue in White House races since, and Loudoun County became a sort-of Virginia-specific bellwether, turning even bluer than the state overall. It’s the type of place parents move for good public schools and travel sports leagues for their teens. There are vineyards and horse farms. In recent years, Loudoun households reported one of the highest median incomes in the country.

But last year, after the polls closed, Harris was trailing the margins by which then-President Joe Biden had won four years before in much of Northern Virginia, including Loudoun. Pundits wondered what it meant for suburban and exurban areas in states like Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, which had historically leaned Democratic but where President Donald Trump had shown in 2016 that he could win.

Harris still won Loudoun, along with Virginia. But the county’s swing in Trump’s favor portended trouble for the former vice president in swing-state suburbs. Harris lost Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin by less than two percentage points. In each of these states, suburban voters were determinative. Suburbs are a politically powerful place: Since 1980, the White House contender who won the suburbs has usually won the presidency. Suburban voters cast more than half of the votes last year — and Trump carried the suburbs nationally by several points.

After Harris’ defeat, analysts pointed to a dynamic in the closing weeks of the race, when Trump’s campaign and allied political groups blanketed key suburbs, including Loudoun, with tens of millions worth of anti-trans ads. Known as the they/them ads, they often ran during high-visibility events like NFL games and highlighted Harris’ past support for transgender rights. Radio show host Charlamagne Tha God’s response became another Trump ad. The ads ended with the line: “Kamala is for they/them; President Trump is for you.”

Harris struggled to figure out how to respond. Her campaign tested ads, but none did particularly well, so they never aired. Research from the top super PAC supporting Harris showed that the they/them ads, on average, moved viewers 2.7 points in Trump’s favor, and they were particularly effective with Black and Latino men and White, suburban women. The post-election takeaway by many high-profile Democrats was that the party should focus less on supporting transgender people’s rights.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom, who was and is eyeing a 2028 White House bid, said on his podcast with since-slain conservative provocateur Charlie Kirk that it was “deeply unfair” for trans women to compete in women’s sports. Biden Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, who competed in the 2020 Democratic presidential primary and is thought to be weighing another attempt at the White House in 2028, told NPR that there were “serious fairness issues” when trans athletes compete in women’s sports. Massachusetts Rep. Seth Moulton told the New York Times: “I have two little girls, I don’t want them getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete, but as a Democrat, I’m supposed to be afraid to say that.” Moulton, now running for Senate, has since softened his rhetoric.

But Spanberger and Sherrill took a different tack than Harris, engaging when their opponents launched a barrage of attacks concerning their support for trans and LGBTQ+ rights more broadly. Particularly in Virginia, where Earle-Sears put millions behind her own they/them ads, which focused on the issue of trans athletes in women’s and girls’ sports and bathrooms. Spanberger swiftly responded, highlighting that she has three daughters in public schools, so the issue is a personal one.

“Nothing matters more to me than the safety of all our kids. And as a law enforcement officer I went after child predators. So it really angers me to hear these lies about who I am. I believe we need to get politics out of our schools and trust parents and local communities,” she narrates in one.

Spanberger won 95 percent of voters who said support for trans rights in society had not gone far enough and 89 percent who said it has been about right, according to CNN exit polls—but she also won nearly a quarter of the half of Virginia voters who said support for trans rights has “gone too far.”

Forty-eight percent of Virginia voters chose the economy as the most pressing issue facing the state, followed by health care (21 percent) and education (11 percent)—Spanberger won all three groups of voters, by 63 percent, 81 percent, and 55 percent, respectively, the CNN exit polls showed.

Only 7 percent of Virginians picked transgender issues as a top concern, according to a post-election analysis conducted by The Global Strategy Group, a Democratic polling firm.

Narissa Rahaman, the executive director of Equality Virginia, said on the Human Rights Campaign call that Spanberger’s response was effective in neutralizing Earle-Sears’ attacks in part because she kept the issue local. Spanberger’s response pointed to a state policy that had been in place for roughly 12 years, under which trans athletes in school sports were decided on a case-by-case basis at the local level. Virginia Republicans are attempting to rewrite the policy.

“We have 18,000 trans youth who live in Virginia and over the decade of that high school policy, we had less than 50, I think, kids trying out for sports. So it was done on a case-by-case basis, and it was working,” Rahaman said.

Rep. Sarah McBride, a Democrat from Delaware who is the first openly transgender member of Congress, added: “We can maintain two truths: One is that every single person, including LGBTQ+ people, deserve and need protections from discrimination across their lives and across sectors of society in every corner of this country. And, that government doesn’t need to micromanage third grade soccer. … That is a reasonable position.”

McBride said that Spanberger’s victory showed the efficacy of keeping the conversation specific to the community and showed how the GOP’s anti-trans attacks are an attempt at division as well as a diversion from issues that voters rank more important like the economy.

“The other lesson that we can take from the wins yesterday is that when candidates hold true to their values and meet voters where they are when they respond to these attacks, voters listen and they come to their side,” McBride said. “We saw her meet voters with respect and grace, and we saw them engage in an effective campaign that had a conversation with voters that serves to open hearts and change minds. That is the future of our politics. That is how we win.”

The post Democrats Responded to Anti-Trans Attacks This Year—and Won appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Democrats, Responded, Anti-Trans, Attacks, This, Year—and, Won", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/shutterstock_2616667867_copy.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/11/democrats-responded-to-anti-trans-attacks-this-year-and-won/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:34:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111309", "lang_id": "1", "title": "High Sensitivity and Its Impact on Relationships", "title_slug": "high-sensitivity-and-its-impact-on-relationships", "title_hash": "547617d253a71a5f3c736e82a6610bda", "summary": "Understand what it means to be a highly sensitive person and how to build emotionally secure relationships using Gottman insights.\nThe post High Sensitivity and Its Impact on Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Understand what it means to be a highly sensitive person and how to build emotionally secure relationships using Gottman insights.

The post High Sensitivity and Its Impact on Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "High, Sensitivity, and, Its, Impact, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/GettyImages-1391148902.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/high-sensitivity-and-its-impact-on-relationships/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:14:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111310", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Talk to Teens About Difficult Topics", "title_slug": "how-to-talk-to-teens-about-difficult-topics", "title_hash": "3b2570be53f4b8599536abc64896fc91", "summary": "Talking with your teen without them shutting down or tuning out can feel impossible. Learn some strategies to engage them effectively.\nThe post How to Talk to Teens About Difficult Topics appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Talking with your teen without them shutting down or tuning out can feel impossible. Learn some strategies to engage them effectively.

The post How to Talk to Teens About Difficult Topics appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Talk, Teens, About, Difficult, Topics", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/GettyImages-1502350230.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-difficult-topics/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:14:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111308", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Is My Wife Yelling At Me?", "title_slug": "why-is-my-wife-yelling-at-me", "title_hash": "4a0d5cfcf514c62cefc90e17c3d02d52", "summary": "Yelling within a relationship often stems from underlying issues such as feeling unheard, overwhelmed by responsibilities, or emotional disconnection. Understand the reasons behind it to address the root causes and improve communication. \nThe post Why Is My Wife Yelling At Me? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Yelling within a relationship often stems from underlying issues such as feeling unheard, overwhelmed by responsibilities, or emotional disconnection. Understand the reasons behind it to address the root causes and improve communication.

The post Why Is My Wife Yelling At Me? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Why, Wife, Yelling, Me", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/GettyImages-2199831459.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-is-my-wife-yelling-at-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:14:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111204", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Do Women Say \"I Never Do This\" Before Sleeping with You?", "title_slug": "why-do-women-say-i-never-do-this-before-sleeping-with-you", "title_hash": "66101bc7a62c5649b3553539b97740ff", "summary": "She’s at your place, clothes are coming off, then she says, “I don’t usually do this.” Why’s she say it? What’s it mean? And exactly what should YOU do?\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"why$ She’s at your place, clothes are coming off, then she says, “I don’t usually do this.” Why’s she say it? What’s it mean? And exactly what should YOU do?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Women, Say, Never, This, Before, Sleeping, with, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/i-never-do-this-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-do-women-say-i-never-do-sleeping-you", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:04:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111205", "lang_id": "1", "title": "You Might Be Too Much of a \"Nice Girl\" for Me", "title_slug": "you-might-be-too-much-of-a-nice-girl-for-me", "title_hash": "e569edcdb16d815ad595cdf5a4d7491b", "summary": "Want her chasing you to prove her naughtiness? Use a little reverse psychology: once she’s hooked into you, accuse her of being “too nice/good” for you.\nThis post by NarrowJ originally appeared on our forum here.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"she's$ Want her chasing you to prove her naughtiness? Use a little reverse psychology: once she’s hooked into you, accuse her of being “too nice/good” for you.

This post by NarrowJ originally appeared on our forum here.

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", "keywords": "You, Might, Too, Much, Nice, Girl, for", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/too-much-nice-girl-for-me-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/you-might-be-too-much-nice-girl-me", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:04:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111203", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs She Feels Ashamed Being Intimate With You", "title_slug": "10-signs-she-feels-ashamed-being-intimate-with-you", "title_hash": "819a668fb27f5201850ffafd77360ddd", "summary": "You can feel it before you even understand it. She’s right there beside you, but something feels… distant.…", "content": "You can feel it before you even understand it. She’s right there beside you, but something feels… distant.…", "keywords": ", Signs, She, Feels, Ashamed, Being, Intimate, With, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/shutterstock_408945325.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-he-feels-ashamed-being-intimate-with-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:04:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111202", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Ab Exercise Mistakes and Their Impact", "title_slug": "ab-exercise-mistakes-and-their-impact", "title_hash": "b00b86665a648fd6d3592d6baa4c1415", "summary": "The 7 Most Common Core Training Mistakes Holding Back Your Progress", "content": "Want chiseled abs? You’re probably aware of the importance of both training and nutrition for achieving that goal. But there’s a third crucial piece of the puzzle to consider: proper form during your workouts. Unfortunately, ab-training mistakes are rampant — and they can cause an array of issues. \r\n“Proper ab engagement is the biggest and easiest way to prevent injury to the low back,” says strength coach, certified personal trainer and licensed massage therapist David Hric, who has seen his fair share of clients complaining of lower-back pain.\r\nWhen you use your core muscles properly while performing an exercise, you benefit from extra stability and support. This protects your back. It also means that you’ll be more likely to activate your core properly while moving around throughout the day. As a result, you will be less likely to overcompensate with other muscles or hurt yourself while putting a suitcase in the trunk of your car. \r\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out Your Abs?\r\nNot only will avoiding common ab-training mistakes help prevent injury, but it will also maximize your results. “If there isn’t proper ab engagement during your workouts, then you will not get nearly as much out of your ab exercises,” adds Hric. You don’t want your efforts to go to waste because of a slight tweak in the position of your hips and pelvis. Here are eight ab-training mistakes to avoid — and what to focus on instead.\r\nPerforming Moves Too Fast\r\nPeople often focus on quantity over quality when performing workout moves. Wanting to get your set over with leads to short, rapid movements instead of slow and controlled ones — and it also means that you’re sacrificing the full range of motion of the exercise performed. \r\n“This [limits] muscle engagement and development. Full movements ensure complete muscle activation, which is crucial for building stronger abs,” notes Olivier Poirier-Leroy, certified personal trainer and owner of YourWorkoutBook.\r\nPlus, if you’re performing a move like leg swings too fast, you can hurt your spine, warns Hric: “If these are not performed with a lot of control, it can cause much damage to the spine through aggressive flexion and extension. Leg swings need to be done slower and more controlled.” \r\nImproper Breathing\r\nBreathing also matters when it comes to ab training, and holding your breath is a common mishap. “Proper breathing ensures adequate muscle oxygen flow and maintains intra-abdominal pressure, which is essential for core stability and effective training,” Poirier-Leroy. So, be mindful of your breathing during ab workouts. Aim to inhale while your muscles are relaxing and to exhale while contracting them. \r\nOveremphasizing the Frontal Abs\r\n“A common mistake is focusing solely on frontal abs while neglecting other core muscles,” adds Olivier Poirier-Leroy. “This imbalance can lead to poor posture and lower back pain. A comprehensive core workout should include obliques and lower back muscles.” \r\nThe muscle that makes up the top layer of your abs is called the rectus abdominis (it’s also what gives you a six-pack look if your body fat percentage is low enough). Lots of popular ab moves target this muscle, but it’s not the be-all-end-all of core training.\r\nKeeping your routine varied is important. Don’t forget to train your obliques through exercises like side planks and make sure to target your entire core by performing moves like the bird-dog crunch. \r\nRelying on Momentum\r\nYou’ve seen it at the gym: Someone swinging their entire body really fast while doing sit-ups. And hey, if you’ve been that person, it’s OK. Both Poirier-Leroy and Hric agree that relying on momentum is a common ab-training mistake. \r\nThe key is using your core muscles while lifting yourself up or doing something like bicycle crunches — it’s all about resisting the temptation to depend on momentum and thinking about the muscles you want to activate. “Cultivate a strong mind-muscle connection. Being mentally present during workouts enhances muscle activation and effectiveness,” recommends Poirier-Leroy.\r\nHips Sagging or Not Being Tucked Enough\r\nThe position of your hips and pelvis can make or break your ab workout. Hric says he spends a lot of time coaching people to tuck their pelvis in while performing lying ab moves: “If you can imagine a rubber band attaching from your pubic bone to your breastbone, you want to imagine trying to tuck your hips underneath your rib cage.” \r\nAlso, it’s critical to avoid letting your hips sag while doing planks, as this can put a ton of strain on your lower back and lead to possible slipped discs, adds Hric. The fix is making sure your hips are parallel with the floor, maybe even slightly higher.\r\nStraining Your Neck While Doing Sit-Ups\r\nStraining your neck while performing sit-ups is another common no-no. “A lot of people will crank their neck forward and not focus on the movement through their abdomen. The cue is to press the low back into the ground,” says Hric. If your neck hurts when you do crunches, it’s a sign you need to adjust its position and contract your ab muscles further. \r\nExaggerated Rotations\r\nIf moves like the Russian twist are part of your fitness routine, avoid exaggerated rotations. Hric says that a common mistake is focusing too much on the rotation through the mid-low spine: “The responsibility of your abs is to prevent movement through the spine. These exercises need to be done with the lower spine remaining still and the upper body slightly rotating.” \r\nInstead of thinking of your abs twisting, think of them resisting the torsion while doing Russian twists. You’ll protect your spinal discs and work your core more effectively that way.\r\nDon’t be surprised if your ab workouts feel harder when you implement the knowledge above. It’s a good thing — it means that you’re engaging your muscles more effectively and getting closer to that six-pack if that’s your goal. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nWhy You Should Start Planking DailyFitness Pros Reveal How to Get Abs at HomeHow to Set Realistic Weight Loss Goals", "keywords": ", Exercise, Mistakes, and, Their, Impact", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/ab-exercise-mistakes-and-their-impact/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1762783796.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/ab-exercise-mistakes-and-their-impact.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:04:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111200", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Not to Do on a First Date", "title_slug": "what-not-to-do-on-a-first-date", "title_hash": "a5c99bc9de5a4d457efbb7f9edc0d122", "summary": "What should you be most worried about on a first date? Yourself.", "content": "You’ve got everything planned out: what to wear, dinner reservations, suggestions for where to go for a drink afterward, a few witty anecdotes — this is going to be the best first date in the history of first dates. \r\nBut then, as you’re waiting for dessert, you go on a 15-minute rant about your ex. Crash and burn.\r\nRELATED: The AskMen Guide for How to Prepare for a First Date\r\nSometimes we spend so much time thinking about what to get right on a first date, we forget to plan for what could go wrong. And what could go wrong is you.\r\n1. Don’t Be Late\r\nIf you want to impress on the first date, make sure you’re prepared. Give yourself ample time to finish work, do errands and get ready for your night out. You don’t want to be that person who has to send “just one last email for work,” or show up with your gym bag. \r\nRELATED: First Date Mistakes To Avoid \r\nIf you’re running late, chances are you won’t be looking your best either and you definitely want to be dressed your best. When people are late, they tend to get flustered, and the reality is that your date is going to be judging and evaluating every little thing — so you don’t want to do something out of character.\r\n2. Don’t Overdo It\r\nEverything in moderation, right? You might be hungry, but it isn't the best idea to try and get to the bottom of an Olive Garden’s bottomless bowl of pasta (bonus tip: don’t go to the Olive Garden on a first date). \r\nRELATED: Worst Food to Order and Eat on a First Date \r\nYou also don’t want to overdo the booze. A drink or two to calm the nerves can often help the night go smoother, but once you’ve polished off your sixth vodka soda, chances are things are going to get sloppy (and not in a good way).And while you want the conversation to progress naturally, also make sure not to dwell on any one conversation topic for too long. Sure, you may the biggest Game of Thrones fan, but maybe your date is just being polite and doesn’t really want to hear about which Lannister you hate the most. \r\nA good rule of thumb is to periodically ask your date a question or two, making sure they have the opportunity to share their own thoughts and experiences. Never getting an opportunity to share on a date can be draining and it’s actually something lots of women complain about when it comes to dating men. \r\nRELATED: Best Questions to Ask Your Date \t\r\n3. Don’t Spend the Night on Your Phone\r\nJust don’t. Checking your phone, even if you feel like it’s relatively brief, will be seen by a lot of people as a sign of disrespect. Do yourself and your date a solid and put it on “do not disturb” and keep it in your pocket. \r\nUnless you’re using it to show your date something or check a germane thing like public transit, a rideshare or what time something opens or closes (and even then these should be kept to a minimum) it should stay out of sight for the date. \r\n4. Don’t Be Rude\r\nSeems simple enough. But sometimes we don’t notice when we’re being rude. Be careful not to interrupt too much or talk down to your date. \r\nRELATED: Things You Shouldn't Say on a First Date\r\nBonus advice? Tons of guys stumble and rob themselves of a chance at a second date by being rude to their servers or other employees they’re interacting with on a date. Women regularly \r\n5. Don’t Talk About Anything Too Serious\r\nHaving the same interests and life views is incredibly important, and some topics will need to be debated eventually, but the first date isn’t the right time. \r\nRELATED: First-Date Conversation Tips That Actually Work \r\nOnce you’re more comfortable with each other, it will be easier to have honest conversations. You also don’t want to bring up all the bad things that have happened to you recently. You’re on a date with a person you're interested in — don’t be a downer. \r\nIn fact, if you’re worried about accidentally going on a lengthy rant, brainstorming some fun conversation topics ahead of time isn’t a terrible idea. \r\n6. Don’t Try to Force the Situation\r\nYou might have planned to go from dinner to a great cocktail bar (that happens to be right around the corner from your place), but maybe a great dinner was the right first step. If the first date looks to be ending early, though, do bring up seeing each other again. \r\nRELATED: Signs Your First Date Was a Success\r\nAnd if you felt like there was genuine chemistry, asking if they want to kiss is a reasonable approach — you’re making your attraction clear but also giving them the option to say no if they’re not feeling it, which could save you both trouble in the long run. \r\n7. Be Honest, But Don’t Be Too Revealing\r\nNever lie on a first date — it’ll just snowball and ruin things further down the line. But that doesn’t mean that you have to tell your life story, chapter and verse. You need something to talk about on that second date, right?\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \t\r\nHow to Handle the Check on a First Date Without Making It Awkward Things Women Expect From Men on First Dates How to Deal With First-Date Nervousness ", "keywords": "What, Not, First, Date", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1200x600/dating/dating_advice/what-not-to-do-on-a-first-date-1071716-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-not-to-do-on-a-first-date.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:04:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111201", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Stop Watching Porn", "title_slug": "how-to-stop-watching-porn", "title_hash": "d9728f356fa91f5c7c9147c11a78d761", "summary": "Worried About Your XXX Consumption? Here Are 7 Tips to Help You Cut Out Pornography", "content": "Today, porn can seem like it’s everywhere. Though it’s actually banned by most social media platforms, there’s so much more of it, and it’s so much more accessible than it used to be, that it can have the feeling of ubiquity.\r\nAfter all, if you ask anyone born before about 1985 what their formative experiences with pornography were, you’re likely to hear tales of stolen porn mags or smuggled VHS tapes. \r\nBut more than the media, the rarity was what seemed to mark these moments — prior to modern internet porn’s widespread use, erotica was simply incredibly hard to come by for those under the age of 18, meaning porn was something much sought after and treated as special.\r\nNow, the existence of porn aggregators, aka tube sites, means that the problem with porn has done a complete 180-degree turn: Now, it can feel hard to avoid. \r\nRELATED: How to Watch Porn Safely\r\nAfter all, if you know how to look for it, and spend even a second or two doing so — and that might be all it takes, in a moment of arousal — you’ll quickly find yourself staring at thousands upon thousands of hours of erotic videos, free for the taking, a sort of bottomless pit of horniness.\r\n\r\nReasons People Try to Quit Watching Porn\r\n\r\nWhatever your reasons for reading this article, if you’re here, it’s probably because you’re one of the many people who’ve realized porn is playing something of an outsized role in their sexuality. \r\nAnd while claims that porn can cause erectile dysfunction may be overblown, it’s true that your porn-watching habits can have an impact on your sex life — and your life, period. \r\nMaybe you feel like it’s shaping your desires in ways you’re not comfortable with, or you just don’t like how you feel after watching it. Maybe you’re not comfortable streaming clips for which performers don’t get paid, but you don’t have the money to pay to watch. Maybe you find that it’s eating up too much of your time, or impacting your phone or internet bill. Maybe you just want to see if you can do without it for your own reasons. Those are all valid! \r\nWhile there’s nothing wrong with porn in and of itself, much of contemporary porn can be seen as promoting somewhat iffy ideas about sex, especially for people who haven’t had much (or any) experience with it in real life. \r\nRELATED: The Differences Between Porn Sex and Real Sex, Revealed \r\nMainstream porn performers are typically cis, able-bodied young people with little by way of body hair, coiffed and tanned and almost always skinny and/or muscular. \r\nWhich is unsurprising — they’re expected to resemble our cultural ideals of beauty. But if those are the only people you see having sex, you can start to forget that people with all kinds of bodies are also sexual beings. \r\nAnd then there’s the fact that the sex that happens in porn is also not realistic. It almost never shows people using condoms or lube, or having an onscreen discussion of boundaries or desires, and there are never any awkward moments or pauses. The actors simply play out their moves according to the script. Which is sexy — but, again, can cause people to have unrealistic expectations. \r\nRELATED: Porn Positions & Moves You Should Never Try IRL \r\nRecognizing that porn might be playing a role in shaping an inaccurate perception of sex for you can be a very compelling reason to take a break from it. \r\n\r\nHow to Stop Watching Porn\r\n\r\nRegardless of your reasons, there are some handy tricks, concepts and alternatives you can use to curb your habit:\r\n1. Make a Resolution\r\nThis might seem silly, but have you ever really tried... not doing it? If you feel negatively about your relationship with porn and like you’ve come to rely on it a little bit, what if you simply made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t watch any for a certain amount of time — say, a few days, or a week, or a month, depending on how frequently you’d normally use porn — and tried to stick to it? \r\nEveryone’s willpower will function a little differently in situations like these, so your mileage may vary, and if you’re trying to find solutions online, you may have tried this avenue already and failed. But before moving on to other options it’s fair to suggest that you just make a no-porn resolution and see if you can stick to it. You might surprise yourself!\r\n2. ...Or Just Try Different Types of Porn\r\nBecause of the way porn aggregators work, mainstream porn producers take up a lot of the visual real-estate on sites like Pornhub and YouPorn and their ilk. \r\nBut the truth is, not every porn production company out there is doing the same kind of thing, and what bothers you about the porn you’re watching might not be a factor in other kinds of porn. \r\nFor instance, there’s feminist porn, high-production-value porn, amateur porn, artsy porn, classic ‘70s porn, and live chats with real cam girls, which is sort of porn-adjacent. Porn production companies like Sssh.com, Girlfriends Films, XConfessions and MakeLoveNotPorn (all NSFW, obviously) might be what you’re looking for instead. \r\n3. Explore Erotica Instead\r\nIf you’re excited to keep masturbating but don’t want porn to be involved, there are other options. People with no access to visual porn have known this for a long time, but a really sexy alternative to watching people have sex is reading about people having sex. \r\nAdmittedly, that might sound less exciting, particularly if you’re not much of a reader, but erotica, like porn, is produced by the truckload and, unlike porn, features really stunning amounts of conceptual variety. \r\nWhatever your fantasy, there’s not only erotica about it, but a lot, and some of it will be really, really hot. If you’re looking to buck your porn-watching habits for something arousing but different, cast the porn inside your imagination with all the sexy stories out there. Who knows? You might even be inspired to write some of your own!\r\nAnd if reading isn't your thing, audio erotica or audio porn might do the trick for you. Apps like Quinn and Dipsea are full of sexy audio productions that will arouse you without any bodies in sight. \r\n4. ...Or Just Fantasize\r\nThis might be something you’re doing already, but a great alternative to internet porn is, well, just imagining sexual scenarios in your head. The truth is that our brains are our biggest sex organs. \r\nWhether conjuring up scenes with past partners or future hookups with crushes you’ve never even talked to yet — or envisioning scenes you’re not even a part of — exploring your sexual fantasies by your lonesome can be an exciting way for you to discover the things that arouse you the most without the limiting constraints of the cheesy porn tropes, story arcs and bodies that exist in mainstream pornography. \r\nWithout relying on porn, you’ll likely find you’re still able to get just as turned on with your thoughts to accompany you. So dim the lights, lie back and experience masturbation the way people used to for thousands of years.\r\n5. Block Porn Sites\r\nIf the above-mentioned possible solutions don’t seem strong enough — or you’ve tried them already and they simply aren’t working out for you — you could always take the brute-force technological approach and invest in some site-blocking software. \r\nWhile these options often leave some control in your hands — and no amount of blocking individual sites one by one could ever stop you from accessing all the porn on the internet — at least making it difficult for you to easily access your favorite porn aggregators or producers could go a long way toward helping you kick the habit in the short term. \r\nSites and apps like Freedom, StayFocusd, Cold Turkey and more could be what you’re looking for when it comes to finally kicking the porn habit — or simply help you cut down a bit by blocking porn during certain times of day.\r\n6. Get Parental\r\nFortunately for you, you’re far from the first person to wonder how to block people from seeing porn online. While much of the existing porn-block effort is about adults preventing minors from accessing porn rather than adults preventing themselves from accessing it, the mechanics aren’t totally different. \r\nYou could always run through a definitive guide like this one by yourself, but it’s then possible that, knowing what you did to block yourself from seeing porn, you could undo it in a moment of weakness. \r\nIn that case, you could recruit a tech geek or computer technician to aggressively porn-proof your devices for you, leaving you on the outside looking in, as it were — whether you tell them it’s for your purposes or to protect someone else is up to you.\r\n7. Make It a Group Effort\r\nIf you’ve tried all that and you’re still struggling, it might be time to reach out for help. Many people find that sticking to a resolution is easier when there’s someone to hold you accountable — hence the concept of gym buddies — and that could definitely be the case here. \r\nRELATED: How Quitting Masturbation Helped Me \r\nWhile it might be trickier, given the subject matter, if you have a friend (or partner) you can talk to about these issues, you could try asking them to check in on you and your anti-porn resolution to help give you extra motivation. \r\nIf you can’t think of anyone in your life who fits the bill, you could consider reaching out for help on an online community — like, for instance, NoFap on reddit, where users come together to help each other quit masturbating.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nThe Health Benefits of MasturbationWatching Porn With Your Partner Can Benefit Your Relationship\r\nWhy Porn Is a Terrible Form of Sex Education", "keywords": "How, Stop, Watching, Porn", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/how-to-stop-watching-porn/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1762789370.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/how-to-stop-watching-porn.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-11 08:04:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111114", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Kept Myself For A Man Who Sleeps Around", "title_slug": "i-kept-myself-for-a-man-who-sleeps-around", "title_hash": "494027801ef2e72d4ad602095ce7492c", "summary": "I didn’t grow up in a rich home but my family was happy. We had love, peace, and dignity in abundance. My parents built a marriage everyone admired. As a …", "content": "

I didn’t grow up in a rich home but my family was happy. We had love, peace, and dignity in abundance. My parents built a marriage everyone admired. As a little girl, I always dreamed I would have what they had. They loved each other openly. They prayed together, and raised us with the fear of God.

Watching them made me believe that marriage was sacred. I had this strong optimism that love was forever. “If a home is built on God, it will never fall apart,” I believed.

Because of that belief, I stayed in church, committed my youth to God, and kept myself for the man I prayed God would give me as my husband. While I prayed, I waited on God. I am not kidding, all through my life, I never had a boyfriend. I never entertained any man. I was convinced my obedience and purity would be rewarded with a peaceful home.

Then, I married a youth pastor who was respected and admired by many. My joy knew no bounds. I thought my waiting had finally paid off. I thought God had answered my prayer.

My dear readers, it’s like my husband has made a vow to sleep with anything in skirts. He cheats with anyone and anyhow without shame. Sometimes I ask myself if he even remembers he’s a pastor. I have seen things and heard things that made me cry until there were no tears left.

I’ve tried to stay strong because of my children. I keep telling myself I want them to have a home, but this home feels like a prison now. I’m tired of pretending, tired of carrying pain while smiling in church pews.

I feel God has not been fair to me. I can’t cheat — it’s not in me. That’s not how I was raised. But I have never truly known what love feels like. Every day, I feel empty. Lonely. Unwanted.

Sometimes I ask God, why did I have to wait faithfully for 26 years, only to end up here? What did I do wrong? Was my waiting in vain?

All I ever wanted was a peaceful marriage and a loving home. Instead, I’ve been given a home filled with betrayal and heartbreak.

—Glossy

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", "keywords": ", Kept, Myself, For, Man, Who, Sleeps, Around", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/img_0621.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-kept-myself-for-a-man-who-sleeps-around/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:59:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "111113", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Married Me Because They Couldn’t Have Children of Their Own", "title_slug": "he-married-me-because-they-couldnt-have-children-of-their-own", "title_hash": "f39c7aa0cbcecf1529d274d4087d7370", "summary": "I am the only daughter in my family, with two older brothers. We were raised in a strict, Christian home. My dad and brothers were my protectors. You know what …", "content": "

I am the only daughter in my family, with two older brothers. We were raised in a strict, Christian home. My dad and brothers were my protectors. You know what that means.

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My life was simple: home, school, and church. That was all. I was never allowed to go to sleepovers or parties. I didn’t really have friends. Even when I could go out, my brothers or our driver were always waiting for me. Mostly, it was my brothers. My dad did not even trust the driver to keep me safe. They were that strict and that loving.

I studied hard, became a pharmacist, and started working at a big hospital in Accra. By 27, I was successful and building my own life in the busy city.

Then, I met Louis.

He is a charming businessman from a very important family. He was fifteen years older than me, but I didn’t care. The heart wants what it wants. I loved him because he reminded me of my father. He was calm, wise, and protective. He made me feel safe, and I loved that feeling.

We were together for over a year. In all that time, he never tried to touch me or force me into anything. We just talked and fell in love, like teenagers. I didn’t mind that I had no other friends. I felt I had found my best friend and the love of my life in one person. I thought I had everything.

When I took him to meet my family, they liked him. I was so proud. But my big brother, Yaw, was not happy. He said, “My soul isn’t at peace.” He felt something was wrong with Louis. We all ignored him. We thought he was just being a protective big brother. My dad and brothers checked Louis’s background, and everything was fine. So, we got married.

The wedding was beautiful. His family welcomed me with open arms. I admired their values. After three months of marriage, I found out I was pregnant with twins. We were so happy. I dreamed of our home filled with the sounds of a baby crying, little feet running, and bedtime stories. I was ready for that perfect life you see in movies.

But then, Louis started to change.

He began getting calls late at night. He would disappear for hours. When I asked him about it, he would just smile, rub my cheek, and say, “Oh, it’s just business. You know how it is.” I believed him. I wanted to believe him. But a small, worried feeling started to grow inside me.

In my sixth month of pregnancy, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to see the woman I knew as Louis’s sister. I was happy for the company, as Louis was away on a week-long trip. But her face was serious.

After she sat down, she said, “Adjoa, I need to talk to you. I need to apologize. You don’t deserve this.”

I froze and my mind raced. What was she talking about? How did she mean?

She continued, “I’m not Louis’s sister. I’m his wife. His first wife.”

I could not understand her words. She calmly explained that she and Louis had been married for almost twenty years. She said they married young, but she could not have children because of an illness. After many surgeries, they still had no baby. She said they agreed that Louis would find someone to have a child with. He refused until they saw me at the hospital. Me, I was their lab rat; I was to become their babymaking machine.

They found out about me and my family. Louis decided to befriend me. But when he saw I would not be friends with a married man and that I had never been with a man before, they decided to marry me instead. She agreed to the plan because she wanted a child. But after I got pregnant, Louis started avoiding her. He only talked about me. He had not visited her in over a month. She was hurt and insecure, so she came to tell me their truth.

The news was too much, so I remember I passed out.

When I woke up, I was in denial. I remembered my brother’s warning. My family and I had been tricked. Why would Louis betray me like this? I sent her out of my house, but she left an envelope behind. Inside were their marriage certificates, photos, and other proof.

I was in terrible pain. I needed answers only Louis could give. Maybe it was all a lie. I waited for him to return from his trip.

That was the longest wait of my life. I cried every day. I had no one to tell.

When he came back, I confronted him. At first, he acted like he did not know what I was talking about. But when I gave him the papers, the look on his face told me everything. I had been played.

I told him I wanted a divorce. I said I could take care of my baby alone, but I needed my freedom. I begged him and told him I did not want to die young.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

I don’t know what I said wrong, but it was like a switch flipped in him. I had never seen him so angry. He started smashing things, breaking furniture. In minutes, our living room looked like it had been robbed.

I screamed. He stopped and walked towards me. I moved back, but he grabbed my arm. “You think I’ll let you leave?” he said. “You are my wife. The mother of my child. My first love.” Then he screamed, “Are you leaving me for another man? I will ruin your life if you ever mention divorce again! You belong to me!”

He dragged me to the bedroom. Despite my cries and protests, my husband forced himself on me. He only stopped when he saw I was bleeding. He rushed me to the hospital. By God’s grace, my baby and I are okay.

But now, I don’t know who I am living with. When I see him, I remember that night. I feel like I have been kidnapped. I don’t see Louis anymore. I see a monster.

I can’t close my eyes without seeing it all: this fraudulent marriage, the violence. It haunts me. I want to tell my family and go home, but I am scared of what he will do.

My family is rich, but he is insanely rich. If I try to take him to court, it might backfire.

It has been two weeks. All I can ask God is, “What did I do wrong? Why me? Have I offended you, for you to punish me like this?”

I am so scared. How do I live with this charade? It hurts so much I feel my heart will tear in two. How do I do this?

—Aseda

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Married, Because, They, Couldn’t, Have, Children, Their, Own", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "53", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/93240.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/they-married-me-because-they-couldnt-have-children-of-their-own/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:59:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110615", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Much Female Drama & Fickleness Must a Guy Tolerate?", "title_slug": "how-much-female-drama-fickleness-must-a-guy-tolerate", "title_hash": "3d87ba5fc88524fae5b5512e15cafd28", "summary": "“Women are a cinch to manage,” said no man in any long-term serious relationship ever. But how much must a man tolerate – and where do you draw the line?\nWomen… beautiful, wonderful, and amazing as they are… nevertheless are agents of chaos. Chaos is simply a part of feminine nature. No getting around it.\n“Changing her mind is a woman’s prerogative,” goes the saying.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ “Women are a cinch to manage,” said no man in any long-term serious relationship ever. But how much must a man tolerate – and where do you draw the line?

Women… beautiful, wonderful, and amazing as they are… nevertheless are agents of chaos. Chaos is simply a part of feminine nature. No getting around it.

“Changing her mind is a woman’s prerogative,” goes the saying.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Much, Female, Drama, Fickleness, Must, Guy, Tolerate", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/tolerate-female-behavior-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-much-female-drama-fickleness-must-guy-tolerate", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:19:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110616", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Bounces and Time Dilation", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-bounces-and-time-dilation", "title_hash": "7bfef903794658fbb07a841108ff4079", "summary": "Meet a girl in a place and never see her elsewhere, and her meeting with you feels ‘hazy’. To truly solidify things, bounce her through multiple locations.\nEver met someone somewhere and gotten into a long, deep conversation on the spot?\nWhen you finally part ways, and look back, it feels a lot like looking back on a dream.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"bounces$ Meet a girl in a place and never see her elsewhere, and her meeting with you feels ‘hazy’. To truly solidify things, bounce her through multiple locations.

Ever met someone somewhere and gotten into a long, deep conversation on the spot?

When you finally part ways, and look back, it feels a lot like looking back on a dream.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Bounces, and, Time, Dilation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/seduction-bounce-time-dilation-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-bounces-and-time-dilation", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:19:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110613", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Roses of Romantic Attraction Progress Report: Bringing RoRA to Life with Stories", "title_slug": "roses-of-romantic-attraction-progress-report-bringing-rora-to-life-with-stories", "title_hash": "ba03e20b7fd57a8bfb22ada912e74a7f", "summary": "Roses gets an upgrade as I weave stories into the already-written chapters. Now, rather than merely a process-focused book, it’s chock full of examples, too.\nIt’s been the better part of a year since my last update on my progress writing the Roses of Romantic Attraction, so – time for a new one.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"The$ Roses gets an upgrade as I weave stories into the already-written chapters. Now, rather than merely a process-focused book, it’s chock full of examples, too.

It’s been the better part of a year since my last update on my progress writing the Roses of Romantic Attraction, so – time for a new one.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Roses, Romantic, Attraction, Progress, Report:, Bringing, RoRA, Life, with, Stories", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/rora-update-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/roses-romantic-attraction-progress-report-bringing-rora-life-stories", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110614", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Talk Girl Type Calibration: Prudish Girls", "title_slug": "sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-prudish-girls", "title_hash": "c22247266299a1d55de2539bf757ed7d", "summary": "Whether she truly believes it or she’s putting on a front, a girl acting prudish presents an obstacle to hooking up. How do you get her to lower her sexual drawbridge? With sex talk!\nHey guys.\nWelcome back. \n\n\n", "content": "

$\"using$ Whether she truly believes it or she’s putting on a front, a girl acting prudish presents an obstacle to hooking up. How do you get her to lower her sexual drawbridge? With sex talk!

Hey guys.

Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Girl, Type, Calibration:, Prudish, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/11/sex-talk-prudish-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-prudish-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110612", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Things Women Want From Men But Will Never Admit", "title_slug": "11-things-women-want-from-men-but-will-never-admit", "title_hash": "0888c1c92a8bf85c6284551ac891780b", "summary": "You ever notice how women say they’re fine when they’re not? It’s not a lie. It’s more like……", "content": "You ever notice how women say they’re fine when they’re not? It’s not a lie. It’s more like……", "keywords": ", Things, Women, Want, From, Men, But, Will, Never, Admit", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/bb0f3495-e551-4465-a492-13e6749a0e75-e1762405725649.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/11-things-women-want-from-men-but-will-never-admit/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110610", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs of a Desperate Woman in a Relationship", "title_slug": "10-signs-of-a-desperate-woman-in-a-relationship", "title_hash": "e601855a8ecdfa17b249a12aa7f212d8", "summary": "It’s weird how desperation hides sometimes. It doesn’t shout, it whispers. You see it in the way she…", "content": "It’s weird how desperation hides sometimes. It doesn’t shout, it whispers. You see it in the way she…", "keywords": ", Signs, Desperate, Woman, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/addicted.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-of-a-desperate-woman-in-a-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110611", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs She Wants You to Make the First Move", "title_slug": "10-signs-she-wants-you-to-make-the-first-move", "title_hash": "4af25cac0e3bdd35144916bfe54ee705", "summary": "You can feel it sometimes, right? That weird pull in the air. She won’t say it, but it’s…", "content": "You can feel it sometimes, right? That weird pull in the air. She won’t say it, but it’s…", "keywords": ", Signs, She, Wants, You, Make, the, First, Move", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/First-move-e1762416809944.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-she-wants-you-to-make-the-first-move/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110608", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Signs To Look Out For To Know If A Man Will Be Good In Bed", "title_slug": "11-signs-to-look-out-for-to-know-if-a-man-will-be-good-in-bed", "title_hash": "bbd5ef97fabe4a7f139f081177fa04c6", "summary": "It’s never just about the act. It’s about energy, care, how someone makes you feel without saying a…", "content": "It’s never just about the act. It’s about energy, care, how someone makes you feel without saying a…", "keywords": ", Signs, Look, Out, For, Know, Man, Will, Good, Bed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Screenshot-2025-11-09-171706-e1762696388264.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/11-signs-to-look-out-for-to-know-if-a-man-will-be-good-in-bed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110609", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs He Feels Ashamed Being Intimate With You", "title_slug": "10-signs-he-feels-ashamed-being-intimate-with-you", "title_hash": "c3c57445f1775a5bfc65001ca6f82e7e", "summary": "You can feel it before you even understand it. She’s right there beside you, but something feels… distant.…", "content": "You can feel it before you even understand it. She’s right there beside you, but something feels… distant.…", "keywords": ", Signs, Feels, Ashamed, Being, Intimate, With, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.relrules.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/shutterstock_408945325.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-he-feels-ashamed-being-intimate-with-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110605", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Women's Sex Deal Breakers", "title_slug": "womens-sex-deal-breakers", "title_hash": "585d62b5ed4ec4805de74e08d1a23548", "summary": "Sex, like most things in dating, is a two-way street — and whether you’re having a one-night stand or trying to pursue a long-term relationship, you probably want your partner to have a good time when you hook up. \r\nTo that end, it’s important to be mindful of some common dealbreakers. \r\nYou know, the kinds of things she might complain about over drinks to her friends (and who wants a reputation for being bad in the sack?) — or worse, that might prompt her to go MIA for good. \r\nRELATED: Biggest Deal-Breakers in a Relationship\r\nIt’s important to acknowledge that one person’s dealbreakers may be another person’s fetishes. \r\nCase in point: Some women shudder at the thought of a guy wearing socks during sex, and others shrug and find it endearing. On the other hand, for some women, a little light hair-pulling or spanking might be sexy as hell — while it might immediately give others the ick or even feel triggering. So, rather than make assumptions, why not just ask your partner what works ", "content": "Sex, like most things in dating, is a two-way street — and whether you’re having a one-night stand or trying to pursue a long-term relationship, you probably want your partner to have a good time when you hook up. \r\nTo that end, it’s important to be mindful of some common dealbreakers. \r\nYou know, the kinds of things she might complain about over drinks to her friends (and who wants a reputation for being bad in the sack?) — or worse, that might prompt her to go MIA for good. \r\nRELATED: Biggest Deal-Breakers in a Relationship\r\nIt’s important to acknowledge that one person’s dealbreakers may be another person’s fetishes. \r\nCase in point: Some women shudder at the thought of a guy wearing socks during sex, and others shrug and find it endearing. On the other hand, for some women, a little light hair-pulling or spanking might be sexy as hell — while it might immediately give others the ick or even feel triggering. So, rather than make assumptions, why not just ask your partner what works (and doesn’t) for them?\r\n“We've all been taught a sexual script of sorts about what sex ‘should’ look like and include — but we all vary and all have different dealbreakers in bed,” says Leigh Norén, a sex & relationship therapist with a Master of Science in Sexology & host of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast. “For this reason, it's important to clarify dealbreakers and turn-ons with a sex partner. It's the fastest route to really great sex and understanding one another.”\r\nWe’re certainly not here to “yuck” anyone’s “yum.” That said, experts agree that some behaviors are pretty universal turn-offs between the sheets. So, to play it safe, consider avoiding these common sex dealbreakers.\r\n\r\n\r\n1. Getting “Grabby”\r\n\r\nYou might think grabbing her butt is flirty — but there’s a solid chance she thinks it’s annoying, presumptuous, or even rude.\r\n“Being ‘grabby’ may be a turn-on for some, but if you're not already in the mood, chances are it can feel like you're just a piece of meat (and not in a good way),” explains Norén. \r\nRELATED: Ways Men Creep Women Out Without Realizing It\r\nSo, next time, Norén suggests showing them you’re feeling frisky with a more subtle move — like coming up behind them and giving a gentle kiss on their neck, or caressing the small of their back. You’re more likely to get what you want when you take this less aggressive approach.\r\n\r\n2. Skipping the Warmup\r\n\r\n“Women aren’t microwaves — we’re slow cookers,” says Pamela Madsen, a relationship expert, somatic sex educator and founder of Back to the Body. “When you rush, you miss the magic,” adds Madsen.\r\n‘Nuff said. If you aren’t making time for foreplay, you’re definitely missing out — and obviously, so is your partner.\r\n“Unfortunately for most of us, sex education emphasized male ejaculation, turning intercourse into the main event,” adds Karen Bigman, a certified sex educator through the Sexual Health Alliance, an intimacy coach, and host of the podcast Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50. “All roads lead to penetration and his orgasm. If all you do is give her a few kisses and then jump right in, you’re not only going to encounter the Sahara Desert, you also might not be invited back.”\r\nForeplay doesn’t have to take an hour, either. Even if you only have time for a quickie, a few minutes of making out, or using your mouth or fingers, can go a long way.\r\n\r\n3. Rejecting Feedback\r\n\r\n“The key to a great sexual experience is communication,” says Bigman.\r\nIf you and your partner can’t tell each other what you like — and don’t like — in the bedroom, how are you ever going to make sure you both finish? That means you have to be open to feedback. Which brings us to the next dealbreaker: Getting too defensive when your partner tries to tell you what works and what doesn’t.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner\r\n“Listening is sexy,” says Madsen. “So is adjusting.”\r\nSure, it may feel like an ego blow when she says that signature move of yours is a total turn-off. But try to swallow your pride and keep in mind that feedback is a gift. The goal here is to make her feel good, and she’s giving you valuable information to ensure you can do just that.\r\n\r\n4. Breezing Past the Aftercare\r\n\r\nAssumed that sex is over once you both reach orgasm? Think again. It’s time to learn the art of aftercare — the practice of reflecting on the experience and offering each other support.\r\n“Aftercare is where safety lands in the body,” Madsen tells AskMen. “It’s not ‘extra.’ It’s part of the act itself.”\r\nRELATED: The Most Annoying Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex\r\nSince different people can have unique needs for aftercare, consider asking your partner what would be most helpful for them. Some people may want to cuddle, hold hands, or physically reconnect in some way. Others may prefer to verbally debrief about and reflect on what happened.\r\n\r\n5. Total Silence\r\n\r\nWe’re not saying you need to be vocal throughout your entire sexual experience — in fact, we’re inclined to say that might be annoying to most — but staying dead silent throughout can be a major turn-off for a lot of women. Not only does it make them feel uncomfy if they’re the only ones making noise, but it might even stoke some insecurity that you’re not enjoying yourself. \r\nAccording to Mindy DeSeta, a sexologist and sexuality educator at Hily dating app, a little dirty talk here and there or even just the occasional moan can definitely take her over the edge. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk Dirty Like a Naughty Pro\r\n“Great sex is experienced through all five senses,” she explains. “When the auditory element is completely absent, the experience can become awkward and disconnected. This silence creates space for overthinking. And so instead of being in the moment, she is now in her head analyzing her every move and your lack of verbal response.”\r\nIn other words: Your verbal engagement is just the positive feedback she needs. Moan away! \r\n\r\n6. Poor Hygiene\r\nThis hopefully goes without saying, but it’s downright disrespectful to neglect your personal hygiene when you’re getting intimate with someone.\r\n“I've had clients who won't even let their partner sit on the bed in the clothes they've worn all day, much less get intimate without showering first,” says DeSeta. \r\nRELATED: The Ultimate Guide to Grooming Your Penis\r\nBigman agrees: Women appreciate it when a man takes the time to make sure his body is clean before she’s putting her hands, mouth, and intimate parts all over it. \r\n“Many also appreciate a good shave or some manscaping,” she adds. \r\nWhile we’re on the subject: Be considerate when it comes to your facial hair, too. \r\n“For those with sensitive skin, razor stubble can lead to chafing, which isn't so pleasurable!” says Bigman.\r\n\r\n7. Not Reading the Room\r\nGood sex requires a certain degree of awareness: you need to pay attention to not only what your partner is saying, but what their body language and facial expressions tell you.\r\n“If someone is enjoying themselves, you’ll know it — and in that case, don’t change what you’re doing!” Bigman tells AskMen. \r\nFor example, smiling, leaning in toward you, expressing pleasure verbally, or making moans and groans are all signs that you can keep going. On the other hand, if your partner keeps breaking eye contact, seems disconnected or less enthusiastic, or angling their body away from you, that’s your cue to stop and check in with them before switching it up.\r\nRELATED: Asking for Consent Examples — How to Talk About It With a Partner\r\nThis kind of heightened awareness is also helpful when it comes to getting consent from your partner. Remember: Just because they haven’t outright said “no,” doesn’t mean they’re saying “yes.”\r\n\r\n\r\n8. Being Straight-Up Selfish\r\n“A lot of clients I've had over the years have also said that one of the biggest dealbreakers is when a partner doesn't seem to care about their pleasure,” Norén tells AskMen. \r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Being an Unselfish Lover\r\nNot all women feel comfortable being assertive in expressing their needs. It’s your job to find out what they are, and make a clear effort to meet them.\r\n“A lot of women are just fed up with sex that feels unequal — say, when a man expects oral sex but doesn’t want go down on their partner,” says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy and author of Eve's Blessing: Uncovering the Lost Pleasure Behind Female Pain.\r\nBy the way — according to Weiss, most women would never sleep with you again if you assume that sex is over just because you’ve finished, even if she hasn’t.\r\n“Spending time and effort on helping your partner come — or at the very least, simply enjoy sex — is important,” adds Norén. “And if you're not sure what it is they want, ask them. If nothing else, this shows them that their pleasure is important to you and, arguably, that is one of the best characteristics a sex partner can have.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n7 Qualities of a Great Sex PartnerWhat Makes a Man Good in Bed? Check for These QualitiesTop 10 Simple Ways to Become a Better Lover", "keywords": "Womens, Sex, Deal, Breakers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2015/11/26-052516-women_s_sex_dealbreakers.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/women-s-sex-dealbreakers.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110606", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Dating Sites and Apps for the LGBTQ+ Community", "title_slug": "best-dating-sites-and-apps-for-the-lgbtq-community", "title_hash": "14c479b868dfe448836cacd644a94156", "summary": "OkCupid\r\n\tAdam4Adam\r\n\tGrindr\r\n\tScruff\r\n\tBumble\r\n\tTinder\r\n\tGrowlr\r\n Hinge\r\n Raya\r\n\r\nWhen it comes to online dating, gay men have been fortunate enough to find a space where they’re able to communicate with their dating prospects without judgment from the outside world. Sure, there are public spaces where it can be possible to meet a potential match, but even the gay clubs of today are filled with women who don’t want to be hit on by straight men, and straight guys so comfortable with their sexuality that they don’t mind the go-go dancers.\r\nMeaning, gay dating sites have been a welcome innovation.\r\nAccording to a study conducted by HuffPost on the online dating behavior of 4,000 gay men, nearly 50 percent of users are between the ages of 25 and 39. Basically, if you’re a millennial or gen Z user, this is one of the best options for connecting with another gay man in a completely casual way. Of all the men surveyed, 79 percent stated that after using an app, they found a las", "content": "OkCupid\r\n\tAdam4Adam\r\n\tGrindr\r\n\tScruff\r\n\tBumble\r\n\tTinder\r\n\tGrowlr\r\n Hinge\r\n Raya\r\n\r\nWhen it comes to online dating, gay men have been fortunate enough to find a space where they’re able to communicate with their dating prospects without judgment from the outside world. Sure, there are public spaces where it can be possible to meet a potential match, but even the gay clubs of today are filled with women who don’t want to be hit on by straight men, and straight guys so comfortable with their sexuality that they don’t mind the go-go dancers.\r\nMeaning, gay dating sites have been a welcome innovation.\r\nAccording to a study conducted by HuffPost on the online dating behavior of 4,000 gay men, nearly 50 percent of users are between the ages of 25 and 39. Basically, if you’re a millennial or gen Z user, this is one of the best options for connecting with another gay man in a completely casual way. Of all the men surveyed, 79 percent stated that after using an app, they found a lasting and fulfilling relationship (whether is was a friendship, romance or friends with benefits), while 21 percent said they did not find love, only lust.\r\nYou can take away that from purely a numbers perspective, men seeking men (or women seeking women!) would benefit from having an online profile.\r\nRELATED: My Mother's Priority Was to Make Sure I Never Felt “Less Than” for Being Gay\r\nBut online dating, no matter what your sexual orientation, can be challenging. You have to wade through hundreds of filtered pictures of strangers. Then you have to make awkward small talk to see if you’ll even have common interests to talk about once you meet up ... and after all that, there is still the coordinating of the first date. It can be exhausting to go through the process time after time in the hopes of finding someone who will make you want to delete your online dating profile forever.\r\nSo if you’re looking to meet a new friend (or find the perfect guy to bring home to meet mom), browse below to find a beginner’s guide to online dating as a gay man.\r\n\r\nThe Best Dating Apps for Members of the LGBTQ+ Community\r\n\r\nOkCupid\r\n\r\nAlthough not exclusive to gay men, OkCupid still remains one of the most used online dating websites owing to the fact it’s free and has some major name recognition. When it comes to asking your friends which online dating website they’re signed up for as a millennial, most will respond with OKCupid.\r\nIt allows you to fill out questions in order to find matches with similar minded people, and since it is not toted solely as a sex app — chances are you’ll more likely to find someone you’ll be happy to bring home to mom to. OkCupid skips being like all those other dating sites with a slew of extra features such as allowing you to swipe on potential matches (much like Tinder) as well as answer insightful questions about yourself such as “What are your favorite novels?”\r\nWhether you’re a gay Christian looking for another gay date to discuss your faith with, or if you’re a bisexual dude looking to experiment with going out to coffee with another male, chances are the OkCupid is the place to find them. In addition, their mobile app allows you to take your online dating profile everywhere you go, making this one of the best free gay dating options available to you. It’s worth mentioning that OkCupid was the first dating app to let users choose their preferred gender pronouns, and also provides 22 gender and 13 sexual orientation options to choose from.\r\nPrice: Free to download and use. Basic memberships start at $9.95/month, but this price lowers if members commit to longer memberships. Premium memberships start at $44.99/month, but come with features like viewing who likes you, three free SuperLikes each week, and unlimited activity reports.\r\nPros & Cons of OkCupid\r\nPros: \r\n\r\n\tNo cost to browse and interact with people on the site\r\n\tSimple and straightforward design is easy to use and isn’t distracting\r\n\tUpgrading to the A-list is cheap and offers great features\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tPeople aren’t taking it seriously as it’s free to register\r\n\tHave to pay to get full functionality of the site\r\n\tNot as much selection in smaller cities or towns\r\n\r\nCheck out OkCupid\r\nRead our full OkCupid review\r\nAdam4Adam\r\n\r\nOne of the more commonly known gay online dating sites, Adam4Adam is more straightforward with its users’ intentions than OkCupid. The site is primarily used to find sexual partners who match your sexual and physical interests. This is great news for anyone who wants to try out a sexual fantasy or experience they’ve yet to have since Adam4Adam has an extensive filter feature that allows you to sort through users by age, race, weight, sexual position, and relationship status.\r\nYes, Adam4Adam even takes into account that a lot of homosexual couples are more adventurous with their sex lives. You’re able to sort through gay couples who are seeking to bring in a third for either solely fun or for a gay polyamorous relationship.\r\nEither way, this free site has stood the test of time since it was launched in 2005 because it simply works to connect gay men who are both looking for a sexual connection and the potential for it to turn into more than just a one-night-stand.\r\nPrice: Free to download and use. An Adam4Adam VIP membership has different pricing options, such as $9.99 for one month, $24.99 for three months, $44.99 for six months, or $77.99 for one year.\r\nPros & Cons of Adam4Adam\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tFull range of services for free\r\n\tEasy to navigate\r\n\tOffers users vast filtering options\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tHigh volume of fake profiles\r\n\tInterface\r\n\tSecurity concerns\r\n\r\nCheck out Adam4Adam\r\nRead our full Adam4Adam review\r\nGrindr\r\n\r\nPerhaps the most widely used gay dating app, Grindr has become synonymous with gay online dating. The reason for this is simple: Grindr is a clean looking app that allows you to filter through your matches who are in your local area. Using GPS match generation, Grindr allows you to see how far away your potential dates/ hookups/ new friends are from you.\r\nGrindr is free, however the premium feature (which begins at 14.99 a month) allows you to see unlimited men in your area and get more specific with your filter searches (for example, the free version of Grindr only allows you to filter your searches with 3 categories while Premium lets you filter through 8 categories of specification).\r\nGrindr is also known for first introducing the “tribe” feature for gay men. You’re able to sort yourself into categories such as: Jock, Nerd, Discrete, Twink, Daddy, Rugged, Poz, Trans, and Otter. This allows you to connect not only with like-minded people, but allows people who are interested in your specific “tribe” to locate you. All of this makes Grindr a big step up from using your local classifieds.\r\nPrice: Free to download and use. Grindr XTRA costs vary depending on the subscription length, with prices ranging from approximately $14.99 per week to $99.99 per year. Monthly plans typically range from about $19.99 to $27.99, with longer-term plans offering discounts. Grindr Unlimited is even more premium and costs $39.99 per month in the United States, with longer-term plans available for $79.99 for three months and $239.99 for one year. Pricing can vary by region and may change over time.\r\nPros & Cons of Grindr\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tQuick registration\r\n\tPopular app with large active user base\r\n\tLocation-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tFree account has limited search capabilities\r\n\tLots of ads\r\n\tCan only view small number of profiles in your area\r\n\r\nCheck out Grindr\r\nRead our full Grindr review\r\nScruff\r\n\r\nPiggybacking off of Grindr, Scruff is another geolocation gay dating app that allows you to “unlock” photos of yourself and others in order to expedite the pesky “pics?” problem apps like Grindr face. Scruff also has employed the tribe feature on the app, but allows you to back search for people who are directly interested in the group of gay men you most identify with.\r\nIn addition, it allows users to check out which queer-focused events are going on in their area during the week and which Scruff users in your area have RSVP’d. This feature not only makes Scruff both a great dating and sex app, but it allows gay men to meet in safe spaces where they can connect in real life.\r\nOf course, Scruff is primarily used for those looking to make a sexual connection, and the lack of requirement for a profile picture opens up users to fake profiles and catfish. But, despite these minor setbacks Scruff succeeds where most gay dating websites fail- it moves beyond the solitary matching scheme and offers users the chance to attend events together, and to discuss queer news with each other.\r\nEven if finding a sex buddy isn’t on your mind, Scruff is ideal for finding someone in your area that checks all your boxes owing to their varied and nuanced ‘categories’ section and filter options. It fulfills the need for connection, friendship, sex, and, yes, community building, something usually missing from those other gay dating apps.\r\nPrice: Free to download and use. Scruff PRO memberships cost the following: One month is $14.99, three months is $39.99, and 12 months is $119.99.\r\nPros & Cons of Scruff\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tQuick registration\r\n\tPopular app with large active user base\r\n\tLocation-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tFree account has limited search capabilities\r\n\tCan only view small number of profiles in your area\r\n\r\nCheck out Scruff\r\nRead our full Scruff review\r\nBumble\r\n\r\nGiven that Bumble's main selling point, in heterosexual dating, is having the woman message first, you might not think it's inclusive of the LGBT+ community, and in the past, that was true: they used a separate app for queer dating called Chappy. They've since folded those functions into a single app, which is great news for the queer community, since it greatly expands the available user base while streamlining things for gay and bisexual users. The \"women send the first message\" mechanic is dropped for queer users, but someone still needs to send a message within the first 24 hours or the match is dissolved.\r\nPrice: Free to download and use. Bumble also offers optional paid subscriptions (Bumble Boost and Bumble Premium) and one-time purchases (Spotlights and SuperSwipes) for extra features. Prices vary depending on your location, the duration of the plan you choose, and current promotions.\r\nPros & Cons of Bumble\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tLarge userbase\r\n\tEasy to indicate what (and who) you’re looking for\r\n\tMore people seeking serious relationships\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tPrompts can come across as excessive\r\n\tLots of overlap with Tinder in terms of the userbase\r\n\r\nCheck out Bumble\r\nRead our full Bumble review\r\nTinder\r\n\r\nTinder may seem like a straight person’s app, but it has recently made great strides for LGBTQ+ inclusion. Launched around Pride 2019, Tinder introduced the features “Orientation” and “Travel Alert”. The former is rather straightforward: Orientation lets users select their sexual orientation, acknowledging that the feature will “continue to evolve and change, just like sexuality.”The latter, Travel Alert, could potentially be a lifesaver, protecting LGBTQ users when they enter any of the 70 countries that have laws criminalizing queer people.\r\nTinder will alert an LGBTQ user when they open the app in one of these countries so they can take extra caution and not unknowingly place themselves in danger. Once the alert is activated, users can choose to remain hidden or connect with new people. If they choose to stay visible, their sexual orientation or gender identity will not be displayed until they leave the area. While the Orientation feature is admittedly a little late to the party, Travel Alert is a new and important feature that deserves to be recognized. \r\nPrice: Free to download and use. Tinder Gold and Tinder Platinum are paid tiers offering extra features. \r\nPros & Cons of Tinder\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tQuick registration matched with a user-friendly interface\r\n\tPopular app with large active user base\r\n\tLocation-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tNo matching algorithm to narrow field for gay men\r\n\tLimited bio prompts\r\n\r\nCheck out Tinder\r\nRead our full Tinder review\r\nGrowlr\r\n\r\nGrowlr is an app similar to Grindr and Scruff, but is more niche, marketed primarily for bears (the typically huskier, harrier variety of gay man). The app, like Grindr and Scruff, uses geolocation technology to source potential mates for whatever type of connection you’re seeking. Currently, Growlr hosts a fraction of users that the other popular gay dating apps do, but that’s to be expected when you’re marketing to a fraction of the gay community.\r\nSince its recent acquisition, the company that purchased Growlr, The Meet Group (which also owns dating apps Lovoo, Tagged and Skout) plans to introduce live-streaming capabilities. The streaming is meant to be an entertainment component with the idea being that when users aren’t getting a lot of messages, there are livestreams put on by others that can provide entertainment. \r\nPrice: Free to download and use. Growlr PRO Memberships range from $5.49 to $13.99.\r\nPros & Cons of Growlr\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tLocation-based platform allows users to more easily find others for in-person hookups\r\n\tUsers are active\r\n\tClean layout\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tLimited “type” of men\r\n\tNo matching algorithm\r\n\tCan only view small number of profiles in your area\r\n\r\nCheck out Growlr\r\nHinge\r\n\r\nHinge’s mantra is “designed to be deleted,” as they’re in the business of helping users find a meaningful romantic relationship that will last for a while, if not for life. The benefit of Hinge is that members create profiles that are comprehensive snapshots into their life, personality, and interests. These range from photos and videos to answers to specific questions about beliefs, memories, and goals. You can even queue prompts for prospective dates to take part in, which encourages purposeful engagement over surface-level interaction and swiping. \r\nThe company also claims to take part in algorithm-driven matches, meaning they’ve developed internal technology to suggest potential partners based on personal preferences. Roses, which refresh and can be purchased beyond a weekly free allotment, act like a Super Like on other apps and are used to express a deeper and often more enthusiastic interest. \r\nOverall, this is probably the most popular dating app among the LGBTQ+ community if you’re not primarily looking for sex. \r\nPrice: Free, though there is an option to partake in Hinge+ and HingeX, which cost approximately $15-$35 per month and $25-$60 per month, respectively. This price varies based on subscription length and location.\r\nPros: \r\nExtremely easy to use and the ability to set many filters Users seem more authentic about their intentions, as it requires effort to build a profileA large number of members from the LGBTQ+ community\r\nCons: \r\nEven with a premium memberships, you’re limited to Roses without purchasing themMay need to expand location parameters after seeing every profile in the areaIt can be difficult to find past conversations without a keyword search feature\r\nCheck out Hinge\r\nRead our full Hinge Review\r\nRaya\r\n\r\nOnce considered the most exclusive dating app on the market, invitation-only Raya has now become more accessible with a robust catalogue of love-seeking members. Though membership continues to be invitation-only, the screening process seems to be more relaxed, as referrals from current members can help speed up an application for approval. \r\nThat said, with increased popularity comes less direct access to the public figures of Raya’s past. Members were once able to go on legitimate dates with everyone from actors and musicians to athletes and company CEOs, with a mutual respect and understanding for privacy. \r\nIf you fancy yourself an overachiever or are simply curious about the type of high–profile user that Raya currently attracts, this may be the platform for you. \r\nPrice: A standard monthly Raya membership costs $24.99, with a more premium \"Raya+\" membership at $49.99 per month. Longer-term options are available, such as 6-month or annual plans, which can offer a slight discount compared to paying monthly. \r\nPros: \r\nDirect access to public figures such as celebrities, influencers, and entrepreneursThe team goes out of its way to look for strong professional and creative backgrounds Unable to screenshot member profiles for added security\r\nCons: \r\nMemberships link to Instagram profiles, which may seem invasiveAn air of superiority from members who bask in its exclusivity Steep monthly membership fees and a somewhat small LGQBT+ community\r\nCheck out Raya\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tA Look at Life Being Both Black and Gay in America\r\n\tA Gay Man's Hope for What to Do When a Friend Comes Out \r\n\tDating Advice for Straight Men from Gay Guys ", "keywords": "Best, Dating, Sites, and, Apps, for, the, LGBTQ, Community", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2021/06/25-031828-best_dating_sites_and_apps_for_the_lgbtq_community.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/online-dating-sites/best-gay-and-lgbtq-dating-sites.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110607", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Truth About Muscle Confusion", "title_slug": "the-truth-about-muscle-confusion", "title_hash": "913f146c22982d35d77dd95ae036dd98", "summary": "Is \"Muscle Confusion\" More Broscience Than Science? We Take a Closer Look", "content": "Whether you’ve been going to the gym for years or you’re new to lifting weights, you might have heard of muscle confusion — the idea of “shocking” your muscles into growing by switching up your workouts. \r\nBut is muscle confusion really the key to more gains or should you stick to your tried-and-tested workout routine? The answer lies somewhere in between: Yes, your muscles need to keep getting challenged to get stronger, but a well-designed program trumps variety for the sake of variety. Here’s what you need to know to maximize gains.\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Hybrid Training\r\n\r\nWhat Is Muscle Confusion?\r\n\r\n \r\nMuscle confusion is a training principle based on the idea of exercise variation. When people talk about muscle confusion, they are referring to the belief that changing your workout keeps your muscles guessing — and therefore growing. \r\nMuscle confusion isn’t a scientific term. It’s more of a fitness buzzword that gained traction through programs like P90X, a 90-day high-intensity home workout program that was launched in 2005 and became a phenomenon.\r\n \r\n\r\nIs Muscle Confusion Real?\r\n\r\n \r\nSo, is muscle confusion a real thing? Let’s unpack the science behind the concept. To understand muscle confusion, it’s helpful to first talk about progressive overload, which is the principle that “to make muscles stronger, you must gradually increase the demands placed on them over time,” as Jill Drummond, VP of fitness at Bodybar Pilates, explains. \r\n“In other words, your body adapts to the level of stress you place on it. Once it adapts, that same workout no longer challenges it, so to continue improving, you need to progressively increase the challenge,” says Drummond.\r\n \r\nIn that sense, muscle confusion makes sense when it brings on a new challenge. “Muscle confusion takes the progressive overload principle and shakes it all up by suggesting that if you continually change exercises, sets, reps, loads and formats, your muscles will never ‘get used to’ the workout, therefore avoiding plateaus,” says Drummond. \r\nBut there is a sweet spot between introducing new moves and increasing the difficulty of existing workouts. Research shows that some degree of variety can enhance muscle hypertrophy and strength gains, while excessive, random variation in exercise selection may actually compromise gains.\r\n \r\n\r\nWhy Repetitive Training Is a Good Thing\r\n\r\n \r\nHere’s why. The body does adapt to repetitive training, which is where the idea of muscle confusion stems from. But adaptation is how you actually get stronger, notes Drummond: “Each time you challenge your muscles through repeated movement, your body responds by making subtle improvements to handle that demand more effectively the next time. This process is called training adaptation — your body learns from the stress you place on it.” \r\nWithout repetition and consistency, your body never has the chance to build the foundation needed for progress. And this is where focusing on muscle confusion can backfire. “The body thrives on consistent, progressive stress. Variety can help, but it only works if the foundation is strong,” says Brian Murray, founder of Motive Training.\r\n \r\n\r\nWhat to Focus On to Keep Seeing Gains\r\n\r\n \r\nSo, if muscle confusion isn’t the key to continuous improvement, what is? “The best results come from structured variability, not random change,” says Murray. “A smart training program is well-balanced, cycling through phases of foundational strength building, muscular endurance or hypertrophy depending on your goals, then change that can include varying exercises, load and tempo,” adds Drummond. \r\nLet’s say that you want to build strength. On leg day, you do squats. At first, your focus is on progressive overload. You gradually squat heavier and heavier. You also work on perfecting your technique. Your body gets stronger with each rep and workout. After a few weeks, you’re ready to strategically introduce a shift: You might try a front squat to change the way the load is distributed or a slower tempo with a pause at the bottom to build control.\r\n \r\n“Movement variability has value, but only when it’s layered on top of consistency,” says Murray, who shares the example of bench press variations to show the importance of intentional variability over random changes. “The bench press trains horizontal pec fibers well but under-stresses the clavicular fibers, which is why incline variations are often included in good programs,” says Murray. “The goal isn’t to constantly change everything, but to make thoughtful adjustments that expand how your body moves and performs.” \r\nIn other words, instead of focusing on muscle confusion, you should have a plan to make the most of your time in the weight room. A personal trainer can help you design one that includes the right amount of change at the right time to maximize results.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nExploring the \"Winter Arc\" TikTok TrendThe Most Common Diet MistakesHow to Run a Faster 10K", "keywords": "The, Truth, About, Muscle, Confusion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/the-truth-about-muscle-confusion/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1762529492.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/the-truth-about-muscle-confusion.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110599", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Thanksgiving Mad-Libs Date Night", "title_slug": "thanksgiving-mad-libs-date-night", "title_hash": "225ed7da3f84da2fa9f194ff68e21592", "summary": "Laugh your way through Thanksgiving with this Mad-Libs game for couples! Choose between a funny family-friendly version or a flirty after-hours edition.\nThe post Thanksgiving Mad-Libs Date Night appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Laugh your way through Thanksgiving with this Mad-Libs game for couples! Choose between a funny family-friendly version or a flirty after-hours edition.

The post Thanksgiving Mad-Libs Date Night appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Thanksgiving, Mad-Libs, Date, Night", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Screenshot-2025-11-06-at-3.04.26-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/thanksgiving-mad-libs-date-night/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 04:18:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110372", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Am The Secret My Mom Kept From My Dad Until Their Dying Days", "title_slug": "i-am-the-secret-my-mom-kept-from-my-dad-until-their-dying-days", "title_hash": "a0889d1c49c77a4eb0cf62df191b9086", "summary": "I was ten or thereabouts when my mom took me to a man’s house and asked me to wait outside. I saw some children playing football. When I waited for …", "content": "

I was ten or thereabouts when my mom took me to a man’s house and asked me to wait outside. I saw some children playing football. When I waited for what looked like an eternity and my mom wasn’t coming, I joined those playing football and even made a friend. My mom came out with the man. The man touched my cheeks and gave me money.

It was one of many times my mom took me to that house. Sometimes I waited in the hall. Other times, they would send me on a long errand. I loved to be there because each time we went there, that man gave me money or something sweet.

I’m the first of four children, but my mom loved me far and beyond all others. It was expected that the last born would receive all the love and adoration, but in my situation, I did. My dad couldn’t punish me. My mom covered my sins so my dad wouldn’t be mad at me. What drew angst from my other siblings drew love from my mom.

Even my dad came to the conclusion that my mom protected me against all odds, so he was very vigilant with me and punished my wrongdoings himself.

Years later, when I was in JHS one or so, that man died. I wasn’t told, but I saw his posters on walls and in homes. I came to tell my mom what I’d seen and she chuckled and walked away. Later, I saw her eyes were red. I was young, but I understood what that meant.

We grew up, all four of us. My dad did his best to give us the best of education according to how well we did in school. The least educated among us completed teacher training college.

Dad died and was buried according to our strength. We honored him because he gave his all to us. Before my mom died three years ago, she was always asking me to come home. “Visit me ooo. One day I will die and you wouldn’t know what’s on my heart for you.”

I took it as emotional blackmail just to get me to go home. When I was with her too, she didn’t say a lot. Before she died she asked me, “Do you remember that man whose posters you saw on the wall when you were young?”

I had forgotten so many things, but I could remember that image; his posters on the wall. I asked, “What about him?” She answered, “I thought you’d forgotten. I’m only asking.” She talked about all the people who died during the period, including my grandparents, and she was affected. Even when I asked specific questions, she brushed them aside and told her story of dead people.

When she died, I thought of that moment for a very long time and asked myself, “Was she trying to say something but wasn’t bold enough to say it?”

I decided to do a DNA test using samples from my youngest sibling. Our ‘siblingship index’ didn’t match. We are half-siblings. My dad wasn’t actually my dad.

My feelings towards my mom’s memory haven’t been the same since. I don’t think I love her the way I thought I did. Apart from lying to my dad, she took away an opportunity for me to know who my real dad was. Now I don’t even know how to trace him and find out if he had other children.

Because of my mom, I’ve lost my way home to my dad’s side. Not only that, she left huge trust issues in my heart and mind. I can remember how my dad loved her and did all he could to cater for us. I can also remember how my mom played the part of a perfect wife, standing by the side of my dad until his dying days. What made her cheat on him, even to the extent of continuing the affair while the product of their affair was that old?

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

It only tells me that nothing is assured when it comes to love. Everyone is hiding something in love. I have two children. I did a test on them secretly. They are mine. Even with this knowledge, I still look at my wife with one eye wide open. I don’t think I will ever be the same again until my dying days. No one knows this secret, not even my siblings. We move, living life as if nothing is wrong.

—Oman

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", The, Secret, Mom, Kept, From, Dad, Until, Their, Dying, Days", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "55", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/2785.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-am-the-secret-my-mom-kept-from-my-dad-until-their-dying-days/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 03:14:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110373", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Am The Problem In My Family", "title_slug": "i-am-the-problem-in-my-family", "title_hash": "44111236233acfb4ad89e0b9f0dae62e", "summary": "I’m a 21-year-old girl, but if you see me, you might think I’m 16. That’s because I’m a sickle cell patient, and it has affected my growth. My mom has …", "content": "

I’m a 21-year-old girl, but if you see me, you might think I’m 16. That’s because I’m a sickle cell patient, and it has affected my growth. My mom has four children — me, my twin brother, another brother, and a younger sister. Out of all of us, I’m the only one living with the sickle cell condition.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

All my life, I didn’t want to take too much from my mother. She’s a hardworking woman who hustles on her own with no one’s support. I’m very grateful to have her, but sometimes, I feel like I’m not that important to her. It seems she only shows me motherly love when I’m in the hospital.

Anytime something happens between me and my younger sister, she always takes her side. This same sister sometimes insults me, saying things like “penin te fie na akwadaa gyemii” (meaning the elder at home is a fool). My mom will act like it’s nothing, but if I do something wrong to my sister, she’ll insult me with every word she can find. She never rebukes my sister like that in front of me, ever.

My sister misuses my things and hides hers from me. She can buy food and hide it so I don’t get any, and my mom sees it but says nothing. But if I try to protect my belongings or ask her not to touch my things, then boom, there’s chaos in the house. Suddenly, I’m the bad one who hates her or wishes her failure.

One time, she took my calculator to school. I had completed SHS three years ago, and she was still in JHS. When I confronted her, she denied it, so I searched her bag and found it there. I decided to wait for my mom to come home so she could handle it herself. To my surprise, instead of correcting my sister, my mom insulted me. The insults I received that day broke me. I cried so much I’ll never forget it.

Another painful moment was when my mom returned from the market and accused me of taking her money. She said, “Atta, bring the money you took from here.” I was shocked because I hadn’t touched any money — I was just watching TV. But she didn’t believe me and told me to replace it before she “opened her eyes.” I cried. She even said I should use that same money for my food for days. That evening, one woman saw me crying, asked what was wrong, and gave me money to buy food.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

My little sister can do wrong and still receive money and affection from my mom. She barely scolds my twin brother because he’s now grown. I can’t say the same for myself. I get no understanding or patience from her. I’ve accepted that my body is smaller because of my condition, but I’m still a woman with a full heart and feelings.

I’m trying my best in a difficult situation but everything about my life seems to come with insults, judgment, or misunderstanding. Sometimes I ask myself, what can I really do for my own peace of mind? Am I that hard to love? Hmmm… asem o.

—Relia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", The, Problem, Family", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/img_0574.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-am-the-problem-in-my-family/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 03:14:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110371", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Want to Run Away From Home Because of My Father’s Lustful Eyes Towards My Body", "title_slug": "i-want-to-run-away-from-home-because-of-my-fathers-lustful-eyes-towards-my-body", "title_hash": "3e1f69231ad80087a2601c739463d483", "summary": "I’m currently eighteen years old. I grew up with my aunt because my mom died when I was very young. When I was thirteen years old, my dad came for …", "content": "

I’m currently eighteen years old. I grew up with my aunt because my mom died when I was very young. When I was thirteen years old, my dad came for me to live with him and his wife. I didn’t want to because of his wife. I was scared she was going to treat me like the stepchild that I am.

Ever since I’ve been with them, my stepmom has been superb. She treats me like her own daughter and tries to draw me close to her. Every problem I’ve had around here comes from my dad. But the sad thing is, when it comes to my dad, my stepmom says nothing about anything.

I would be in the bathroom and my dad would come there, pick up something, and ask why I would be in the bathroom and close the door. “Who are you hiding from? Your mom or me?” He would leave the door open and walk around and watch me while I bathe.

Sometimes he’ll talk about my buttocks; “Eiii Julie, your buttocks are growing big, papa. You’re challenging your mom?”

If it’s not my butt, then it’s my chest and how it’s growing rounded like onions. It makes me very uncomfortable, and I make it obvious to him that I’m old enough to deserve some privacy, but he doesn’t care.

Last time, he made me dress up in front of him while he kept telling me he was my dad so I shouldn’t hide anything from him, including myself. He has hit my behind with his bare palm while walking past me, saying, “I know it’s becoming big, so stop shaking it while walking.”

My stepmom is aware because it has happened many times in front of her, but all she does is laugh as if it’s OK as far as it’s coming from my dad. I feel insecure around him, and his comments about my body make me very uncomfortable. I wish there was a hiding place from him, but as it is now, there’s none.

Does Marriage Benefit Men More Than Women?

I want to make him stop, but he doesn’t listen, so a friend told me to disappear for days. When they finally find me, I should tell him I was running from home because of how he treats me. Should I do that? I want to, but I’m scared it will rather make things worse.

—Julie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Want, Run, Away, From, Home, Because, Father’s, Lustful, Eyes, Towards, Body", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/89306.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-want-to-run-away-from-home-because-of-my-fathers-lustful-eyes-towards-my-body/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 03:14:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "110369", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Wife’s Affair Partner Isn’t a Man", "title_slug": "my-wifes-affair-partner-isnt-a-man", "title_hash": "bfb17803f49b7fb00d591283fc127c09", "summary": "Two years ago when we got married, we both knew we had taken the right steps and were meant to last. She’s very vocal about her feelings. I’m different. Instead …", "content": "

Two years ago when we got married, we both knew we had taken the right steps and were meant to last. She’s very vocal about her feelings. I’m different. Instead of saying “I love you,” I would rather show it. She would say it and still let it show. I learned a lot from her and called her my soulmate, something I’d never said to anyone.

We only dated for a year and got married because everything felt right for both of us. We didn’t fight, we hardly disagreed on anything, and had a lot of things in common. When we started living together, we had our first fight. It was normal. We resolved it even before the sun set and made a plan for what we would do in case we found ourselves in a similar situation that made us fight.

We were like that; we tried to prevent chaos before it happened, but I didn’t see this one coming. I was thrown into it. It was like you wake up one day and find yourself in the eye of the storm. I saw a message pop up on her phone while she was lying on the sofa next to me. The message read, “I’m happy you want it too. So when and where?”

It was the “When and where” that drew my curiosity. Are they fixing a date? Who is this person who wants what my wife wants?

I picked up the phone and went into it. That was the only message from that number. No name saved. Just a number asking when and where. I got curious, suspicious actually. “She’s seeing another man,” I told myself. I took a photo of the message so I could have the number and then deleted the message.

I tried sending the person mobile money so I could find the name. She was Wendy. “Oh, a woman?” I smiled at myself in soothing relief, knowing I was being jealous for nothing. A woman texting another woman shouldn’t draw suspicion from me and make me jealous, but I asked myself, “Why does she delete messages from her? What is she hiding?”

Every night when she came home from work, I went through her phone secretly. Most often, there were no messages from Wendy. Other times, I would read messages that didn’t make any sense or say anything of note. This went on for over a month. I nearly gave up until I decided I was going to chat with Wendy myself using my wife’s phone.

That day she came home very late from work and went to bed while I was watching TV. By the time I went in, she was snoring, but her phone was under her pillow and her head on it. It took patience and strategy to be able to pull the phone without waking her up. They had chatted before she slept.

My wife: “I’m home now”
\nWendy: “I’m home too. Let’s do it again very soon.”
\nMy wife: “Yeah, we should, but we have to be careful too. $\"",$ I want to understand why infidelity in relationships and marriages has become so normal. Why do people treat loyalty like it no longer has value? I once made a vow: never to exceed five body counts before marriage. I was so sure of myself but now I’m with my fifth woman and I’m not married. Her name is Akosua.

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Maa Abena was my first partner. We were so in love. That’s why it broke my heart when I found out that her lifestyle wasn’t funded by her family. She had big men sponsoring her. They paid her rent, her tertiary school fees, and provided for all her personal needs.

She begged me to stay. She offered me money. “How much do they pay you at work? I will pay you three times that amount if you stay with me,” she bargained.

I told her I’d rather be alone than share the woman I love with other men. Then I ended things.

Thes, my second partner, was the woman distance tore away from me. Four years later, we reconnected. By then, she was in another relationship. For me, I was recovering from my relationship with the woman I dated after her. Nine months post-breakup. Although she was with someone else, she came around often. She spent weekends with me, and even stayed two nights before her wedding. She didn’t set boundaries, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch another man’s woman. Nothing happened between us until we drifted apart.

Now to Akua, the woman I dated after I lost Thes to long distance. She was everything I prayed for. The kind of woman I wanted to build a future with. But life hit us hard. Circumstances beyond our control pulled us apart.

Adwoa, the fourth one, told me she had been single for two years before we met.

Only for me to find out she had a man in Ashaiman, another in Takoradi, and one at Lapaz. I didn’t have proof but I even suspected she was involved with her boss.

When I confronted her, she begged me to give her a second chance. I didn’t want to lose yet another woman, so I stayed. She continued her lifestyle. The only change I saw was that she replaced the old ones with four new men. When I finally left her, I met Akosua. She is the woman I am currently dating.

We had history. We dated briefly years ago. I was the one who ended things because I suspected her of cheating. She came back later, in tears, promising she had changed. “I have learned my lessons,” she swore.

As soon as I took her back I discovered she was involved with two married men, a mechanic, a shop attendant, and me.

Now, the same woman who cheated doesn’t want me to go. The last time I went to her place to pick up my shirts, she locked the door and said she wouldn’t let me leave. Meanwhile, she still has four other men in her life.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

So my question is, are there still women who believe that love should be between one man and one woman? Where are the faithful ones?

Where are those who still see loyalty as sacred?

I’ve seen men cheat on their wives, and wives cheat on their husbands. But I didn’t grow up in such a home. My mother never lay with another man, and my father never betrayed her trust. It appears infidelity was frowned upon strongly in their time, as compared to now. At this rate, are there still people who are faithful in relationships?

—Dennis

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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On Nov. 4, voters across the country will cast their ballots for state and local elections. The results in some of these races could have serious implications for abortion access and other reproductive justice initiatives.

Abortion has become a major electoral issue since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022. Of the ten states that put forward abortion-related ballot measures in 2024, voters in seven states passed pro-choice initiatives.

Abortion isn’t explicitly on the ballot in any November 2025 elections. But candidates in several state and city-wide races have made reproductive rights—or, in some cases, abortion restrictions—a key part of their platforms.

These are the races we’re watching this Election Day.

Virginia

Virginia is the last bastion of abortion access in the South, and the two candidates vying to be the state’s next governor have vastly different visions for reproductive rights.

Democrat Abigail Spanberger, a former U.S. Congresswoman, has said she supports Virginia’s current abortion laws, which ban abortion after the end of the second trimester (or about 27 weeks). The laws include exceptions to preserve the pregnant person’s life or general health, including mental health.

Her Republican opponent, Winsome Earle-Sears, Virginia’s current lieutenant governor, has signalled support for either a six-week or 15-week abortion ban.

Virginians will also select all 100 members of the House of Delegates, which is expected to pass a ballot initiative allowing voters to decide whether to enshrine abortion rights into the state constitution in 2026. The measure was passed once by the Virginia Senate in January 2025, but lawmakers must pass an identical proposal again for it to be put forward to voters.

The latest polls give Spanberger a 8-to-10-percentage point lead.

But the makeup of the legislature will be more influential on abortion rights, Kyle Kondik, managing editor of the nonpartisan University of Virginia Center for Politics newsletter Sabato’s Crystal Ball, said in an interview with RNG earlier this month.

“Democrats probably still would be favored to hold the House of Delegates,” he said, even if the anti-abortion Earle-Sears were to become Virginia’s next governor.

New Jersey

The Garden State’s next governor could also drastically change New Jersey’s abortion landscape.

The Guttmacher Institute, which produces research on sexual and reproductive health and rights, considers the state’s abortion policies “very protective.” New Jersey doesn’t place any gestational limits on abortion care, requires private health insurance to cover abortion, and has a shield law protecting providers who provide abortion care in states with bans.

Democratic gubernatorial candidate and current U.S. Rep. Mikie Sherrill supports existing state law, News From the States reported. Republican candidate Jack Ciattarelli says he supports banning abortion after 20 weeks and parental notification laws for minors seeking abortion care.

Current New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy, a Democrat who is term-limited out after eight years in office, signed abortion rights into state law in January 2022 through the Reproductive Freedom Act, six months before the Supreme Court decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization ended federal abortion protections. He also announced plans to stockpile mifepristone, one of two drugs commonly used in U.S. medication abortions, in January 2025. The current status of the stockpile is unclear.

Ciattarelli opposes the Reproductive Freedom Act, and one of Ciattarelli’s staffers recently confirmed to POLITICO that an anti-abortion state assemblyman is on the candidate’s shortlist of potential state supreme court nominees.

The latest polls give Sherrill a lead of between 1 and 4 percentage points, a very narrow lead that some pollsters consider a dead heat.

New York

New York City’s mayoral election—largely a showdown between the state’s disgraced former Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who lost the Democratic primary, and the Democratic nominee, progressive state assemblyman Zohran Mamdani—has gained national attention as an apparent indicator of the future of the Democratic Party.

But for New Yorkers, its more direct impact could be a reduction in child-care costs.

Raising children in the Big Apple is notoriously expensive. Mamdani, 34, has run on making the city more affordable, and one of his campaign pledges is providing free child care for kids aged 6 weeks to 5 years old. The latest polls give Mamdani a 5-to-16-percentage point lead over Cuomo. Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa trails further behind.

New York City currently provides free early childhood education starting at age 3. Until then, day care can cost at least $2,000 a month. Research shows that programs like universal child care can boost families’ disposable incomes and increase mothers’ ability to work.

Keeping families is a well-known challenge in the nation’s biggest city.

The New York City Council in June 2025 approved $3 million for guaranteed income programs, like the Bridge Project, which provide unconditional cash payments to parents for a specified amount of time, such as the first three years of a child’s life. The results have been life-changing for some families.

“More cash equals more opportunities, more choices,” Bridge Project National Director of Programs Tegan Lecheler said in a previous interview with RNG. “It means getting to live in a safer neighborhood. It means getting to choose to go back to work and put your child into child care, having access to more nutritional food for yourself and for your baby.”

Mayoral races

Other major U.S. cities are selecting mayors on Nov. 4, including Atlanta, Minneapolis, and Seattle. Local leaders strongly influence reproductive rights—as Heidi Gerbracht wrote in 2022, “abortion clinics exist nearly entirely in cities, and city governments have the power to make it easier or harder to ensure access.”

This article was adapted from a Bluesky thread.

The post How the 2025 Election Could Affect Abortion Rights and Child Care Costs (Updated) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In this episode of Boom! Lawyered, Imani and Jess discuss a new school launched in Colorado that’s designed to erase the separation of church and state in public education. They also explain why the conservative legal movement could finally succeed in getting taxpayers to fund religious schools.

Transcript (coming soon!)

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post A Colorado School Tests the Separation of Church and State (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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President Donald Trump and the GOP are playing Russian roulette with people’s food. Food pantries across the United States are emptying out as Trump and Republicans in Congress use SNAP benefits as a bargaining chip to end the government shutdown they created.

As the hunger emergency deepens—the Trump administration is promising to send half the usual aid while Trump himself insists on sending nothing—I’ve seen Black folks on social media urging each other to sit this one out. To not do interviews. To not let the media trot out starving Black mothers to put a familiar face on the crisis that can then be ignored.

Because we already know how that story ends: The country sees Black suffering and shrugs. Black pain isn’t enough to stir the nation’s conscience.

Remember the ‘welfare queen?’

Take the welfare queen trope, for example.

Ronald Reagan first popularized the term “welfare queen” during his 1976 presidential campaign. He claimed there was a Black woman from Chicago, Linda Taylor, who was gaming the system, driving around in Cadillac while cashing government checks she didn’t deserve.

Reagan presented this story as fact to convince voters of the wastefulness of welfare programs, but it was a lie. There was a real woman named Linda Taylor who had committed welfare fraud. But she was white (at least according to the 1930 census), and she was a prolific scam artist who was even arrested for kidnapping.

Reagan latched on to Taylor, dubbed “welfare queen” in 1974 by the Chicago Tribune, to make the case that welfare recipients were profligate scammers. He repeated Taylor’s story again and again during speech after speech, claiming that she was collecting $150,000 a year through welfare scams. The true total was somewhere around $40,000 over multiple years, according to reporting in Washington Monthly.

Reagan’s lie was convenient. It cast a woman of ambiguous racial background into a symbol of Black degeneracy: an indolent cheat living off the largesse of hardworking taxpayers.

Sure, there were white people who received public assistance; even Reagan could acknowledge this. But they were just down on their luck—victims of circumstance who just needed a temporary hand. They weren’t like ‘the blacks.’

Once in office, Reagan used his racist lie to justify slashing welfare spending. This, when combined with aggressive expansion of former President Richard Nixon’s war on drugs and the increasing economic precariousness of the Black working class as manufacturing jobs disappeared, cemented a political order under Reagan that virtually criminalized poverty itself.

And of course, rising crime—followed by mass incarceration due to mandatory minimums and increased homelessness—was held up as further proof that poverty was a uniquely Black moral failing. ‘We’ve given them bootstraps and they can’t even manage to pull themselves up.’

Black people had been dismissed as a permanent underclass.

The cruelty is the point

Nearly 50 years later, we’re still living in the house that Reagan built—in a politics that treats poverty as a moral failing and encourages white people to blame Black people for it.

That’s the real legacy of the “welfare queen” myth: It taught white voters to see social programs as something Black people exploit and white people pay for. (The irony is that the real welfare queens aren’t Black mothers. They’re rich white men who don’t pay taxes.)

Trump and his cronies are probably counting on the power of that myth as he squeezes SNAP benefits.

Some 41.7 million Americans rely on SNAP benefits, according to government data. That’s about 12 percent of the population. SNAP is literally the difference between eating and not for some families—about 39 percent of SNAP beneficiaries are kids 17 and younger.

And to make it even more difficult, nearly three-quarters of SNAP beneficiaries live at or below the poverty line. In the U.S., that means they make less than $32,150 for a family of four.

These numbers aren’t abstract. They represent people who may face hunger because of Trump’s political stunt. But does that concern the president? Nope. As journalist Adam Serwer astutely pointed out in the Atlantic back in Trump’s first term, the cruelty is the point.

Trump doesn’t care about poor people, Black or white. And the weaponized myth of the welfare queen all but ensures that white America will see their own hunger and still blame Black people for it. Or maybe they’ll pin responsibility on brown people or trans people; a banner emblazoned on the USDA website blames Democrats for the shutdown because they are prioritizing health care for “illegal aliens” and “genital mutilation procedures.”

I’ll bet most Americans still picture a Black mother when they think about welfare. It’s so engrained into the national consciousness that AI-generated fake videos of Black women complaining about their EBT cards have recently been going viral. That’s the power of Reagan’s myth: It rewired the public imagination so that poverty looks Black, even when, in raw numbers, more SNAP recipients are white than any other race. Just over one-third of SNAP beneficiaries are white; one-quarter are Black.

But that’s another lie we tell ourselves, isn’t it—that “most people on SNAP are white.” It’s true, but it elides the fact that as a percentage of our population, Black people rely on food assistance more than white people.

There’s no shame in that. We don’t need white liberals to try to defend the Black community’s honor by pointing out that a lot of poor white people need help feeding their families, too. We can admit facts.

The empathy gap

But we also have to admit that’s not the whole story. Systemic racism and inequality are a large part of the reason a quarter of all SNAP recipients are Black. That’s a conversation this country never seems prepared to have. Yet it’s the reason why the response to white struggle is so different: unexamined biases and the refusal to have difficult conversations.

The opioid crisis response, when compared to response to the crack epidemic in the 1980s, is a stark example.

The opioid crisis of the past decade was framed as a tragedy caused by the Sacklers—the family behind Purdue Pharma who marketed opioids as non-addictive painkillers even though they weren’t—and by doctors who irresponsibly pushed painkillers on ailing patients, turning people in pain into unwitting victims.

The crack epidemic, on the other hand, was framed as self-inflicted “Black-on-Black” crime, and became a justification for locking up an entire generation of Black people. The media was saturated with news about “superpredators” and “crack babies.”

That’s the empathy gap at work. In this country, there’s a sort of invisible algorithm that determines whose pain counts as human and deserving of sympathy.

But this time feels different.

The Trump administration has shown little interest in permitting SNAP benefits for anyone. He doesn’t seem to care about poor white people any more than he cares about poor Black people.

Still, it seems like when white people get mad, shit actually changes. Just look at how people rose up in outrage at ABC and Disney for suspending Jimmy Kimmel Live! The backlash forced Disney to reinstate the late-night comedian within a week.

So if that’s what it takes to make America care about starving kids, then fine. Let white families be the face of this hunger crisis. Maybe when millions see starving white kids on their phones, they’ll realize that hunger is a policy choice, not an inevitability.

Or maybe not. Maybe the myth of the welfare queen will hold. Maybe this country will continue to blame poverty on Black people. Maybe we’ve run out of empathy. After all, this country watched a classroom of white children get slaughtered in Sandy Hook—and then watched hundreds more die in the decade after that—and still did nothing.

Maybe the only honest thing left to do is to stop waiting for a moral awakening from a nation that runs on cruelty, and to tell the truth about who we are. And the truth is this: We are a cruel and carceral nation. As a Black woman, it’s hard not for me to clock exactly what this is: more fuel for the prison pipeline.

Trump is engineering a hunger crisis because if there’s one thing that will drive otherwise law-abiding people to criminality, it’s watching their kids starve. So that’s the playbook. Starve people, take away their health care, and then jail them when they do what they have to do to survive.

It’s a familiar playbook—the same one that’s always been used to control and degrade us—to blame us for poverty as a moral failing rather than a policy choice engineered by racist politicians. And then to criminalize it.

But maybe this time when white America finds itself in the cages right alongside us, it’ll finally understand what we have been hollering about this whole time.

The post Let White People Be the Face of Trump’s Hunger Crisis—Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Arizona abortion providers urged a Maricopa Superior Court judge on Nov. 5, 2025 to block a series of anti-abortion laws they claim unreasonably burden patients and violate the Arizona Constitution.

Last year, Arizona voters overwhelmingly agreed to make abortion a fundamental right by adding it to the state constitution. But dozens of restrictions crafted by anti-abortion groups remain enshrined in state statute. To remedy that, reproductive rights groups have turned to the courts to nullify those laws.

In May, the Center for Reproductive Rights and the Arizona branch of the American Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit on behalf of two local abortion providers and the Arizona Medical Association seeking to do just that. The legal challenge argues that multiple Arizona laws should be struck down as unconstitutional. Among the challenged statutes are those banning the prescription of abortion pills via telemedicine and sending them through the mail; prohibiting abortions sought because of a fetal genetic anomaly; and requiring an ultrasound, the recitation of state-mandated information, and a 24-hour waiting period before an abortion can be performed.

In the first of three hearings debating the relevance of the laws in the wake of Arizona Proposition 139’s passage, which made abortion a constitutional right and explicitly bars the enforcement of laws that unduly infringe on a woman’s access to the procedure, doctors testified that the laws make it harder to provide care—and often create insurmountable barriers for their patients.

Maricopa Superior Court Judge Gregory Como didn’t come to a conclusion on Nov. 5. And it’s likely that the debate won’t end in the trial court. The case is expected to continue with additional hearings on Nov. 6 and 7, and Como said he hopes to issue a ruling soon to allow the case to move through the court system for a quicker resolution.

“I recognize that these issues are likely to be decided by the appellate courts, and I think that, to the extent that we can get a ruling and get it up on appeal, that’s to the benefit of all parties,” he said.

Abortion providers: Laws hurt relationship with patients, quality of care

Dr. Paul Isaacson, an OB-GYN and the co-founder of Family Planning Associates Medical Group, one of a handful of private abortion clinics in Phoenix, said that state laws limiting who he can offer abortions to and how he does so negatively impact the quality of care he is able to give women who visit his clinic. He criticized the law prohibiting abortion based on fetal genetic abnormality, referred to as the “Reason Ban,” saying that it has the potential to result in inadequate care because women have increasingly been advised by their doctors not to reveal the fact to abortion providers, and referring doctors themselves have limited the amount of information shared with abortion clinics.

“It closes a door of communication that existed,” Isaacson said. “I get far less information from the referring physicians.”

The law was previously frozen under the auspices of Roe v. Wade, in part because of a lawsuit joined by Isaacson, but a federal judge ruled it could be enforced once again in 2022 because the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the constitutional right to abortion in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. Since then, abortion providers in Arizona have repeatedly said that the law acts as a sort of gag rule, preventing them from freely counseling their patients for fear of being forced to deny them an abortion.

The law includes exceptions for lethal fetal abnormalities and medical emergencies, but Isaacson and other abortion providers have said that the law’s definition of what falls under the former category is too vague.

Isaacson also denounced the state-mandated requirements that providers must fulfill before patients can receive even a medication abortion. Arizona law requires a 24-hour waiting period between an initial consultation and the actual procedure.

During that first appointment, providers are legally required to conduct an ultrasound—even if one isn’t medically necessary or has already been carried out by another doctor. They also must recite information to the patient about fetal development, alternatives to an abortion like adoption, the financial responsibility of the father, and the existence of public and private services available to help if she chooses to continue her pregnancy. And the providers are required to direct patients to a state-created website and pamphlet which providers say contains biased and inaccurate information.

Isaacson said his patients have sometimes reacted emotionally or with frustration to the information and said it hurts the patient-doctor relationship.

“It puts me in a position of having to provide information that the patients are finding harmful,” he said. “It puts me in a position of appearing to dissuade them from having an abortion.”

Abortion foes: Laws don’t impact ability to provide abortions

Republican legislative leaders in Arizona have taken up the defense of the abortion restrictions. State Attorney General Kris Mayes is charged with backing state laws in court, but the Democrat, who ran on a promise to protect abortion access, refused to do so in this case and filed a motion early on agreeing with reproductive rights groups that the challenged laws violate the Arizona Constitution. In light of that, Arizona Senate President Warren Petersen and House Speaker Stephen Montenegro intervened in the lawsuit to convince the court to keep the laws in place, arguing that they can coexist with the state’s newly adopted constitutional right to abortion and that the complaint filed by the abortion providers is invalid because they haven’t actually faced any harm from them.

Attorney Justin Smith, representing the GOP leaders, pressed Isaacson on Nov. 5 about his assertions that the laws should be thrown out because they sometimes prevent women from seeking care. In his testimony, Isaacson said that the 24-hour delay often leads to women foregoing their second appointment, and noted that it’s difficult for women from rural areas, or with limited income, to make multi-day travel, lodging, or child-care arrangements.

The majority of abortion clinics are centered in Phoenix. Planned Parenthood, the state’s largest abortion provider, offers the procedure at only four of its clinics with half of those located in the Phoenix metro area. Only one is located in Flagstaff and one in Tucson.

Smith dismissed Isaacson’s argument, pointing out that plenty of abortions have been carried out since the 2009 law establishing a 24-hour waiting period was passed.

“Since that law went into effect in 2009, you have abided by the 24-hour waiting period, haven’t you?” he asked. “And yet you’ve still been able to perform abortions since 2009. The 24-hour waiting period law does not prevent women in Arizona from having abortions, does it?”

Isaacson responded that, for some women, the delay does result in them being forced to miss their second appointment, but he wasn’t able to provide exact estimates when Smith questioned his claim. Smith posited that the no-shows simply decided not to go through with an abortion. He added that Arizona’s own data collection showed that the overall rate of abortions spiked after 2009 and consistently increased in the following years, proving that the 24-hour law has had no impact on women. In 2009, 10,045 abortions in Arizona were recorded. That number rose to 11,059 in 2010.

But that increase wasn’t unprecedented: In 2004, the number of abortions reached 12,301 before falling to below 11,000 until the increase in 2010. Arizona health department officials at the time of the ostensibly sudden increase attributed the jump to improved reporting mechanisms. It’s difficult to say whether the lingering effects of the Great Recession, population growth, or other factors contributed to the increase.

The number of abortions in Arizona increased again afterwards to 13,606 in 2011 and has consistently hovered between 12,000 and 13,000 since then. According to census data, Arizona’s population has grown by about 75 percent since 2011—from about 4.2 million people to nearly 7.3 million—meaning the rate at which women receive abortions has fallen dramatically.

Smith grilled Isaacson on his willingness to provide abortions to women seeking the procedure because of a fetal genetic abnormality. In an aggressive back-and-forth exchange, Smith questioned whether Isaacson would be comfortable providing a race-based or sex-selection abortion. The law that prohibits abortions based on a fetal genetic abnormality also bans abortions because of the fetus’ race or sex, but reproductive rights advocates are only challenging the genetic abnormality provision. Isaacson said he wouldn’t be willing to provide race- or sex-based abortions, but said he didn’t agree that state laws should exist to ban them, saying that “there may be some circumstances which could be compelling.”

Smith sought to compare abortions based on a fetal genetic abnormality to discrimination, and questioned Isaacson about whether he would perform an abortion if a woman said it was because of a Down Syndrome prognosis or if he would regard such a procedure as unethical. Isaacson responded that he wouldn’t be uncomfortable performing an abortion in that situation because he believes in a “woman’s right to choose” and doesn’t view it as unethical.

In a bid to justify the ultrasound mandate, Smith singled out Isaacson’s claim that sometimes a physical examination and the patient’s own estimate is sufficient to determine a fetus’ gestational age. The doctor had testified that some patients have regular menstrual cycles, others are able to pinpoint exactly when conception may have occurred, and pregnancies conceived through IVF have clear implantation dates. Opponents of the ultrasound mandate argue that the law should be nullified because a one-size-fits-all approach is wrong and takes away the ability of doctors to tailor their treatment. But Smith was skeptical, saying that medical tests like ultrasounds are more reliable than a patient’s memory.

“Sometimes the information women give you is not as accurate as an ultrasound,” he said.

Smith also questioned whether Isaacson has faced any enforcement actions or prosecution threats from Arizona Gov. Katie Hobbs, Mayes, or the state medical board. Isaacson said that he had not. A key argument advanced by Petersen and Montenegro has been that the lawsuit is premature because doctors haven’t yet endured any consequences from the laws that could be challenged under the new reality of a post-Prop. 139 Arizona. Mayes has vowed not to take any provider to court over abortion law violations.

Can informed consent exist through a screen? What about in mandated speech?

Dr. Laura Mercer, an OB-GYN who also provides abortions, spoke in favor of lifting the ban on telemedicine, saying there is no reason to mandate in-person consultations. Allowing doctors to conduct abortion appointments over the phone or via a video call would be beneficial for patients who live in rural areas or can’t afford to take multiple days off of work, she said. And because the same law that prohibits telemedicine consultations also forbids mailing abortion pills, blocking it would vastly improve access to the procedure.

Mercer added that ensuring patients are aware about what an abortion entails is as easy to do through telemedicine as it is during an in-person meeting.

“Informed consent is largely education. It’s making sure my patient has as much information and education as she needs to make the decisions that are right for her, and actually lends itself really well to a telehealth setting, where a patient is able to be in her own environment with whatever support people—family members or friends—that they want to be present in order to talk about what is going on and make sure they have their questions answered,” she said. “I don’t have to touch a patient to have those discussions with her.”

Alex Saquella, another attorney for Petersen and Montenegro, questioned Mercer about her commitment to securing informed consent from her patients. Saquella argued that the Arizona laws which require providers to recite state-mandated information don’t impede them from sharing information they themselves consider important, but instead just set a minimum threshold on which they can build. She pointed out that providers don’t have to adhere to a specific script, and nothing in the law forbids them from expressing their opinions about that state-mandated information or correcting out-of-date information afterwards.

To prove that the recitation of the state-mandated information isn’t as cumbersome as providers claim it is, Saquella referenced a video activists with the anti-abortion Live Action group recorded of Mercer during a deceitful patient consultation in 2013. During that consultation, Mercer told the patient, who was faking an interest in an abortion, that the state-mandated information was “politically motivated stuff” intended to scare her away from the procedure and that she would go through it quickly.

“You weren’t just complying with the law here, you were actively editorializing and undermining the informed consent materials while speaking to a patient,” Saquella accused.

Mercer disagreed, saying that, while she was sharing her own opinions, she wasn’t undermining the informed consent process. She added that her criticism of the state-mandated information comes from her belief that much of the information she is forced to recite isn’t appropriate for every patient, and isn’t information doctors would, in their professional opinion, choose to share.

Opponents: Arizona’s abortion restrictions are just preventative safeguards

Toward the end of the over five-hour hearing, the legal team for Petersen and Montenegro and reproductive rights attorneys sparred over the veracity of the testimony from abortion providers.

Attorney Andrew Gould, representing the Arizona GOP leaders, argued that claims that the 24-hour waiting period negatively affects low-income patients are directly contradicted by the existence of abortion aid funds. Because some reproductive rights groups have set up funds to financially support struggling women, the argument that Arizona’s laws are burdensome falls flat, Gould claimed.

To make that point, he used funding documents of a local pro-choice group that runs a financial aid program for abortion patients. But abortion rights attorneys pointed out that the witness on the stand at the time had no connection to the organization being used to refute his testimony.

“At issue here is the burden supposedly on these patients that they can’t make it to these medical clinics,” Gould said. “This evidence impeaches the testimony of this witness that [patients] can’t pay for the cost, and in a facial challenge all we have to show is that some of these patients can go and they’re receiving medical support.”

But Como sided with attorneys for the abortion providers, who said that the documents didn’t add to the conversation or refute comments made by witness Dr. William Richardson. Richardson, an abortion provider in Tucson, Arizona had shared that multiple patients told him or his staff they couldn’t attend a second appointment because of financial issues.

“He hasn’t testified that I heard that there’s no funding available for patients,” Como said. “He just testified about the impact of these statutes on his own practice and his patients.”

Gould insisted that the financial assistance funds undermine Richardson’s claims, but Como remained unconvinced.

“It’s quite possible that there’s a burden to his patients and to his practice despite these funding sources,” Como said.

Gould also sought to establish that Arizona’s mandated-information laws are necessary by questioning the commitment of abortion providers to adhere to adequate informed consent procedures on their own. Gould pressed Richardson about the procedures Planned Parenthood abided by in 1998 and 1999, when he served as the medical director for the organization’s Southern Arizona chapter.

Gould interrogated Richardson on whether he was aware that Planned Parenthood clinics, before Arizona’s 24-hour waiting period was passed, were encouraged to perform up to 55 abortions a day, or that patients were at times given informed consent forms to fill out by themselves or spoken to in groups to fulfill informed consent requirements. Richardson said he was not aware of any of those procedures. Gould asserted that those procedures clearly show that the state needs to step in to regulate how abortion providers carry out their jobs to ensure patients have all the information they need to make an informed decision.

“This goes to the standards of care throughout the state of Arizona,” he said. “This impeaches the experts that these standards are unnecessary and what this testimony goes to is that these clinics don’t even follow the standards that their own experts say they follow in their own practice.”

To defend the need for the state’s 24-hour waiting period, referred to as the two-trip scheme, Gould compared it to Richardson’s personal protocols employed when a patient appears to be unsure about an abortion.

“When you think they are unsure, you send them home, isn’t that correct?” Gould asked. “And you send them home so they can think about it, so that if they do decide to come back, they’re sure?”

Richardson responded that he did. But the Tucson, Arizona doctor disagreed about the continued need for a compulsory 24-hour delay for every patient, telling Laura Bakst, an attorney for the Center for Reproductive Rights at the beginning of his testimony that he strongly opposes the laws because they infringe on his practice, and his patients’ medical needs and rights.

“I find that the laws that we are challenging are preventing me from providing the sort of care that I think my patients want and that they deserve, and that now that they’re constitutionally entitled to,” he said.

\n\n

This story was originally reported by Gloria Rebecca Gomez for Arizona Mirror. Arizona Mirror is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Arizona Mirror maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Jim Small for questions: info@azmirror.com.

The post Doctors Challenge Arizona Abortion Laws as Unconstitutional Burden on Patients appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Doctors, Challenge, Arizona, Abortion, Laws, Unconstitutional, Burden, Patients", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Arizona-Abortion-Law-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/11/07/doctors-challenge-arizona-abortion-laws/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-10 03:01:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109083", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Talk Girl Type Calibration: Inexperienced Girls", "title_slug": "sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-inexperienced-girls", "title_hash": "c2d67d9728e6d3f87b1331a0321edd72", "summary": "You might be surprised, but sex talk works great on sexually inexperienced girls. See how to wield sexual authority and woo them with your experience.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\nToday and for the next few weeks, I am going to share a few posts on sex talk calibration.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"using$ You might be surprised, but sex talk works great on sexually inexperienced girls. See how to wield sexual authority and woo them with your experience.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today and for the next few weeks, I am going to share a few posts on sex talk calibration.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Girl, Type, Calibration:, Inexperienced, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/sex-talk-sexually-inexperienced-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-girl-type-calibration-inexperienced-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109080", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Things That Make a Woman Fall for a Man Without Realizing Why", "title_slug": "12-things-that-make-a-woman-fall-for-a-man-without-realizing-why", "title_hash": "866ab5e31ae49bd0986db6b7cd9c46a9", "summary": "It’s strange, you know, how it happens. She doesn’t even see it coming. One moment she’s just talking,…", "content": "It’s strange, you know, how it happens. She doesn’t even see it coming. One moment she’s just talking,…", "keywords": ", Things, That, Make, Woman, Fall, for, Man, Without, Realizing, Why", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Depositphotos_173352708_S-e1762162050326.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-things-that-make-a-woman-fall-for-a-man-without-realizing-why/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109081", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Body Language Signs That Show a Woman Wants to Be Closer to You", "title_slug": "9-body-language-signs-that-show-a-woman-wants-to-be-closer-to-you", "title_hash": "e5a6b0b58f6704a62f19858912b27ea0", "summary": "It’s weird how attraction works sometimes. It doesn’t always show up loud. No big signs, no perfect timing.…", "content": "It’s weird how attraction works sometimes. It doesn’t always show up loud. No big signs, no perfect timing.…", "keywords": ", Body, Language, Signs, That, Show, Woman, Wants, Closer, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/body-language-1-e1762159102743.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-body-language-signs-that-show-a-woman-wants-to-be-closer-to-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109082", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Phrases Men Use When They’re Only Interested in One Thing", "title_slug": "9-phrases-men-use-when-theyre-only-interested-in-one-thing", "title_hash": "e1373f5c6c5b8d50f0ff9591f0600ecd", "summary": "It’s wild how easy it is for some people to say all the right things. You listen, you…", "content": "It’s wild how easy it is for some people to say all the right things. You listen, you…", "keywords": ", Phrases, Men, Use, When, They’re, Only, Interested, One, Thing", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/phrases-e1762149974436.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-phrases-men-use-when-theyre-only-interested-in-one-thing/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109078", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Habits to Prevent Divorce Later in Life", "title_slug": "habits-to-prevent-divorce-later-in-life", "title_hash": "1c323ce8e169be2d7c8f66c4ae3714eb", "summary": "Presenting 8 Habits to Adopt Now That Can Prevent Divorce Later in Life", "content": "One day, they’re exchanging tearful vows and saying “I do.” A few years later, they’re heading for divorce. \r\nWhat happened? While every relationship and its struggles are unique, the answer isn’t always dramatic or easy to pinpoint. Oftentimes, relationships erode because of a lack of maintenance. \r\n“The problem really is that we stop feeding that loving feeling,” says psychotherapist Nicki J. Monti. “We start taking each other for granted. We stop noticing what’s magical, inspiring, and stimulating about our partner.”\r\nThe good news is, what you do right now can help prevent divorce later in life. \r\nRELATED: The Phrases Healthy Couples Use, Revealed \r\n“Small habits can be powerful in keeping a relationship strong, because it is what we do in the day-to-day that truly matters for the long-term health of a relationship,” says Danielle Dellaquila, therapist and licensed social worker at Gateway to Solutions. \r\nFrom checking in daily to repairing conflict, here are eight therapist-approved relationship habits that will keep your bond strong through thick and thin. \r\n1. Checking in Daily \r\nLife gets busy. Sometimes all you want to do at the end of the day is watch a show together. \r\nBut setting aside a bit of time to reflect on your day and express feelings and needs is extremely important for staying connected, according to Dellaquila.\r\n“It does not have to be a deep daily conversation every time,” she says. “It simply allows space for reflection, no matter what is going on in each partner's life, and allows each partner time to express whatever they may need to.” \r\n2. Listening Intently\r\nListening — truly listening — is half the battle when it comes to good communication. \r\n“The vast majority of couples who sit on my therapy couch begin their sessions by complaining about poor communication,” says Monti. “Couples tend to blame the other person for lousy communication. 99% of the time, both members of a couple need to improve their listening.”\r\nWhat does great listening look like in practice? Repeat exactly what your partner tells you without “judging, mocking, interpreting or creatively changing the words you hear,” suggests Monti. \r\nFor example, \r\n“I heard you say you believe I’m not really interested in what you have to say.” \r\nIf your partner doesn’t agree with your version of what they said, you can nip potential miscommunications in the bud. \r\n3. Connecting Through Physical Touch\r\nShowing affection through physical touch during mundane moments keeps the spark alive. \r\nWhether you give each other a kiss, a handhold or a shoulder rub when you walk past one another while getting ready in the morning or take a second to hug while making dinner, these interactions matter. \r\nRELATED: How to Keep a Relationship Interesting \r\n“Oftentimes, people get caught up in the busyness of the day-to-day, and brief physical contact during these tasks can provide a sense of connection and togetherness,” says Dellaquila. \r\n4. Expressing Vulnerable Feelings \r\nHow often do you share your deeper concerns, frustrations and feelings with your partner? \r\n“Often, we keep our feelings a secret,” says Monti. “We give ourselves all sorts of reasonable excuses: ‘I don’t want to burden them.’ ‘They won’t understand.’ ‘Talking about feelings isn’t helpful.’ ‘There’s nothing they can do about it.’ But really, emotional secrets accumulate inside.” \r\nOver time, this lack of sharing creates a growing disconnect, as vulnerability is necessary to foster closeness. The antidote? Being honest about what’s going on with you, even when it’s uncomfortable or you’re worried about your partner’s reaction. \r\n5. Making Date Nights a Non-Negotiable \r\nDate nights don’t have to be extravagant, but they do have to be a priority. \r\n“[A weekly date night] allows the couple to have fun, spend time together in a setting outside the home and without the stresses of the house or kids and connect without distraction,” says Dellaquila. \r\nRELATED: Fun Date Ideas to Try With Your Partner \r\nIf weekly dates aren’t doable, even a monthly outing can make a difference. The key is to enjoy each other’s company outside of the routine of managing a household. \r\n6. Repairing Conflict \r\n“Every couple has conflict, but it is how they manage and repair that conflict that matters most. An important habit of healthy couples is making repair attempts during conflict,” adds Dellaquila. \r\nThis can include using humor, turning toward your partner rather than away during conflict, giving them a hug or saying something calming to help de-escalate the situation. \r\nRELATED: The 5 Conflict Styles & When to Use Them in Your Relationship \r\n7. Taking Ownership \r\nWhen a relationship issue comes up, taking ownership for your role in the dynamic — even if it’s hard — is a habit that can save your relationship in the long run. \r\nAs Monti explains, we tend to want to defend, correct or explain. But taking accountability can turn challenges into opportunities to get closer. \r\nFor example, imagine your partner telling you that they feel ignored. According to Monti, responding with a real apology — something like, \r\n“I get that you think I’m not interested in what you have to say, and you’re right. I’ve let my overwhelm about work and finances distract me. I’m going to try to give you and us the attention you deserve” \r\nis the kind of honest vulnerability that builds brilliant relationships. \r\n8. Showing You Care \r\nWe all want to feel cared for in our relationships. If you want a strong marriage, it’s important to consistently show that you care, even if you’ve been together for years. \r\nOne way to do this is to set an intention to add value to your partner’s life, says Monti. \r\nRELATED: Small Romantic Gestures That Make a Big Impact \r\nWhat can you do or say to let them know you think about them and their well-being? Maybe you pick up their favorite snack, leave a surprise note in the bathroom or buy an item they’ve been wanting for a while. The point isn’t how much money you spend, but how thoughtful the gesture is. \r\nHealthy, fulfilling relationships don’t happen by chance. They are created, one small habit at a time. “The bottom line is: What we feed grows. Feeding your relationship daily with morsels of true, considerate attention and care will allow you to find stability, ever-deepening love and a sincerely fulfilling marriage,” says Monti. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nRelationship Mistakes Strong Couples Don’t MakeHabits That Erode Trust in RelationshipsHow to Move on After a Divorce", "keywords": "Habits, Prevent, Divorce, Later, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/habits-to-prevent-divorce-later-in-life/askmen-lead-image-2x1-51-1761938643.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/habits-to-prevent-divorce-later-in-life.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109079", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Tricep Workout Routines", "title_slug": "best-tricep-workout-routines", "title_hash": "7d3b855bf299c793214d397cae14433b", "summary": "Spot training can be really helpful when it comes to certain muscle groups, like your triceps for instance. Triceps tend to be one of those spots that no matter how hard you go on arm day, you just don’t seem to be gaining mass. But why? In order to have a better understanding, it’s important to first know how the tricep is built, how it works, and how to get it big.\r\nTriceps are comprised of three heads or bundles of muscle fibers, explains Simon Lawson, instructor at The Fhitting Room in New York City. They’re responsible for extending the arm, forearm and shoulders. “From a sports performance standpoint, the tris play a huge factor in your ability to execute frontal and transverse pressing movements,” explains Adam Rosante, celebrity trainer, C9 Champion brand ambassador, and author of The 30-Second Body. (Think benching and overhead pressing). “When you tap out on the bench press, it’s usually your triceps that are fatiguing first.”\r\nAnd from an aesthetic standpoint? The triceps a", "content": "Spot training can be really helpful when it comes to certain muscle groups, like your triceps for instance. Triceps tend to be one of those spots that no matter how hard you go on arm day, you just don’t seem to be gaining mass. But why? In order to have a better understanding, it’s important to first know how the tricep is built, how it works, and how to get it big.\r\nTriceps are comprised of three heads or bundles of muscle fibers, explains Simon Lawson, instructor at The Fhitting Room in New York City. They’re responsible for extending the arm, forearm and shoulders. “From a sports performance standpoint, the tris play a huge factor in your ability to execute frontal and transverse pressing movements,” explains Adam Rosante, celebrity trainer, C9 Champion brand ambassador, and author of The 30-Second Body. (Think benching and overhead pressing). “When you tap out on the bench press, it’s usually your triceps that are fatiguing first.”\r\nAnd from an aesthetic standpoint? The triceps are the biggest muscle group in the upper arms, explains Rosante. Translation: Bigger tris means bigger looking guns.\r\nWhile you may think you’re training your triceps at the gym, chances are you’re working the hell out of the muscles you can see in the mirror more, like the biceps, chest, and even abs. Sadly, the “back of the body” muscles can be overlooked, which not only looks funky, but it can also cause a lot of imbalance. Imbalance can lead to potential injury, especially when it comes to upper body compound lifts in the case of the triceps, explains Rosante.\r\nRELATED: 10 Best Exercises for Bigger Biceps\r\nIf you’re convinced you just can’t grow those tris, you’re incorrect. “With the right programming and exercise selection, just about every guy can build up his triceps from where they are right now,” says Rosante. And we’re here to help.\r\nBelow you’ll find nine different tricep exercises, focused specifically on that muscle group. We found the top fitness trainers to create everything from bodyweight, to Tabata, to dumbbell workouts with triceps being the main focus. And we even got a stretching routine for when you’re finished. So what are you waiting for? Just tri ‘em.\r\n\r\nBodyweight Triceps Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Luke Lombardo, Instructor at Studio Metamorphosis in LA and Ironman\r\nDirections: Perform the exercises in the order below.\r\n1. Dips: Stand with a chair, box or bench directly behind you. Bend your knees and lower yourself until you can place one hand on either side of the surface behind you, shoulder width apart, arms fully extended. Extend your feet out in front of you so all the weight rests in your hands and your heels. Keeping your core and glutes tight and inline, using just your arms, bend your elbows and lower entire body down as far as your can. Push back up until arms are at full extension.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 10.\r\nTrainer Tip: Keep your elbows in, your back very close to the surface in which you are performing the dips on and keep those shoulders away from your ears! The dips should be slow and controlled, making sure that your shoulders and elbows hit a 90-degree angle before coming up. The further your legs/feet are away from you, the harder the dips will be! To modify, keep your legs and feet closer to your body. \r\n2. Diamond Push-Ups: Come to the floor in plank position, hands form a triangle on the ground in front of you, shoulders stacked over elbows, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows close to sides, perform a push-up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 1 set of 10.\r\nTrainer Tip: To modify, keep your hands farther apart (the closer your hands are, the more difficult). This can be done on your feet, or on your knees as a modification. For a challenge, put your hands on top of each other.\r\n3. Tricep Push-Ups: Come to the floor in plank position, hands directly inline under shoulders, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows close to sides, lower body almost to the ground, ending with hands at sides. Push back up. Repeat\r\nPerform 1 set of 10.\r\nTrainer Tip: The closer your elbows are to the sides of your body, the more difficult this pushup will be. To modify, put a little space between your arms. This can be done on your feet or on your knees as a modification. \r\n4. Push-Ups: Come to the floor in plank position, hands directly inline under shoulders, body in straight line from head to toe. Lower body almost to ground. Push back up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 1 set of 10.\r\nTrainer Tip: After the dips, diamond pushups and tricep push-ups, your triceps will definitely be feeling it! Although triceps are a secondary muscle worked in regular push-ups, you will definitely feel them engaged and working.\r\n5. Pull-Ups: Grab onto bar with palms facing away from you. Using upper body strength, pull your chest up to the bar. Lower back down until arms are straight, but don’t come off the bar, so you’re hanging. Repeat.\r\nPerform as many as you can without a break.\r\nTrainer Tip: Don’t cheat! It is important to obtain a full range of motion with each pull-up. That means after each pull-up, lower yourself the entire way down until your arms are straight! To modify, find a friend to hold your legs for an assisted pull-up. \r\n\r\nMorning Tricep Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Alonzo Wilson, founder of Tone House in New York City\r\nEquipment: Dumbbells and paper plates.\r\nDirections: Perform the exercises in the order below.\r\n1. Diamond Push-Ups: Come to the floor in plank position, hands form a triangle on the ground in front of you, shoulders stacked over elbows, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows close to sides, perform a push-up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 20 seconds between sets.\r\n2. Plank Body Saw Pushups (Using Paper Plates): Start in a forearm plank position, placing toes of each foot on plates. While on your forearms, slide your body slightly backwards and then slide forwards while simultaneously pushing off the ground, so that you're now in extended plank. Perform a push-up and then slide backwards as you return to your forearms. That’s one rep. Repeat.\r\nPerform 4 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 40 seconds between sets.\r\n3. Cross Plank Push-Ups: Start in a forearm plank position, shoulders stacked over elbows, body in straight line from head to toe. Almost cross arms, placing right hand in front of left elbow, left arm behind right elbow. Push up to extended plank, so arms are crossed. Return back to forearms. That’s one rep.\r\nPerform 3 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 40 seconds between sets.\r\n4. Tricep Push-Up with Dumbbell Kickback: Come to the floor in plank position, hands directly inline under shoulders holding onto dumbbells, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows close to sides, lower body almost to the ground, ending with hands at sides. Push back up. Keeping hips square and elbow close to side, take dumbbell in right hand and pulling shoulder blades together, bend elbows upward, raising dumbbell to right side of chest. Without moving upper arm, fully extend right arm backwards, so dumbbell ends up next to hip. Bend elbow and bring dumbbell back in to side of chest. Place back on ground. Repeat entire exercise, but do kickback with other arm.\r\nPerform 3 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 40 seconds between sets.\r\n5. Tricep Busters: Lie on the floor, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one dumbbell in each hand and extend arms fully overhead, palms facing knees. Bend and slight flare out elbows to lower dumbbells inward towards each other, until top of dumbbells reach chest level. Press back up overhead. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 40 seconds between sets.\r\n6. Plyo Windshield Wiper Push-Ups: Start in a push-up position and pretend body is a clock. Start at 12 o’clock and lower body to the ground. Explode up so you can jump body to 3 o’clock. Lower body to the ground then explode up and jump body back to 12 o’clock. Lower body to the ground, then explode up and jump body to 9 o'clock. Lower body to the ground then explode back up to 12 o’clock. That’s one rep. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 40 seconds between sets.\r\n7. Plyo Dimond Push-Ups: Come to the floor in plank position, hands form a triangle on the ground in front of you, shoulders stacked over elbows, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows close to sides, perform a push-up. On the way up, explode so hands come off the ground. Land with them back in triangle. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets, 1-minute each. Rest 40 seconds between sets.\r\n\r\nTabata Tricep Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Adam Rosante, celebrity trainer, C9 Champion brand ambassador, and author of The 30-Second Body\r\nEquipment: Bench press, dumbbells, cable rope\r\nDirections: Do the 4 moves below in a Tabata protocol, 20 seconds on, 10 seconds rest in-between. Repeat for 8 total rounds. Aim to get as many reps as possible in each 20-second interval. \r\n1. Close Grip Bench Press: Lie on bench, feet flat on the floor. Grip the bar with pointer fingers inside the knurling, so you’re holding the smooth part of the bar. Keeping elbows tight to ribs, press bar straight up over your chest. Lower until bar comes to chest. Push back up Repeat.\r\nTrainer Tip: You don’t need to bring your hands super close on the barbell. That'll just irritate your shoulders. \r\n2. Dumbbell Skull Crushers: Lie on bench, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one dumbbell in each hand and extend arms fully overhead, palms facing each other. Keeping upper arms still, bend at elbows and slowly lower dumbbells towards head. Extend back upward. Repeat.\r\n3. Rope Pull Down/Apart : Stand in front of cable, facing anchor. Grab onto both sides of rope overhead with either hand. Keeping elbows tight to body, pull rope down, and continue to pull rope apart, extending arms back behind you. Repeat.\r\n4. Dips: Stand with a chair, box or bench directly behind you. Bend your knees and lower yourself until you can place one hand on either side of the surface behind you, shoulder width apart, arms fully extended. Extend your feet out in front of you so all the weight rests in your hands and your heels. Keeping your core and glutes tight and inline, using just your arms, bend your elbows and lower entire body down as far as your can. Push back up until arms are at full extension. Repeat.\r\n\r\nDumbbell Tricep Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Noah Neiman, master trainer at Barry’s Bootcamp in New York City\r\nEquipment: 2 sets of dumbbells, a heavy set and a light set. \r\nDirections: Perform the exercises in the order below.\r\nWarmup\r\nDiamond Push-Ups to Hand Release Push-Ups: Come to the floor in plank position, hands form a triangle on the ground in front of you, shoulders stacked over elbows, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows close to sides, perform a push-up. When at top of push-up, walk hands out to shoulder width apart. Lower body to the ground and release hands off ground, squeezing back muscles together. Press back up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 2 sets of 12 reps.\r\nTricep Extension Push-Up: Come into plank position, shoulders stacked directly over hands, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping body straight, bend elbows and lower until both forearms lie flat on the ground. Push back up to plank position. Repeat.\r\nPerform one set until failure.\r\nWorkout\r\n1. Floor Press: Lie on the floor, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one dumbbell in each hand and hold them at your sides, palms facing each other. Keeping elbows tight to ribs, press dumbbells straight up over your chest. Lower until elbows tap the ground. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-12 reps.\r\nTrainer Tip: Use a heavier weight as you get stronger and progress.\r\n2. Skull Crushers: Lie on the floor, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one dumbbell in each hand and extend arms fully overhead, palms facing each other. Keeping upper arm still, bend at elbows and slowly lower dumbbells towards head. Extend back upward. Repeat.\r\nPerform 2 sets of 12 reps, then one last set to failure.\r\n3. Tate Press: Lie on the floor, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one dumbbell in each hand and extend arms fully overhead, palms facing knees. Bend and slight flare out elbows to lower dumbbells inward towards each other, until top of dumbbells reach chest level. Press back up overhead. Repeat.\r\nPerform 2 sets of 12 reps, then one last set to failure.\r\n4. Overhead Tricep Extension: Stan with feet hip width apart, dumbbell in each hand. Raise dumbbells overhead, palms facing each other. Keeping elbows close to ears, chin lifted, bend elbows and lower dumbbells behind head. Press back up overhead. Repeat.\r\nPerform 2 sets of 12 reps, then one last set to failure.\r\n5. Tricep Kick-Backs (Kneeling on Bench): Come to right side of the bench. Place left knee on bench, right leg extended back behind you, foot on the ground. Take dumbbell in right hand and pulling shoulder blades together, bend elbows upward, raising dumbbell to right side of chest. Without moving upper arm, fully extend right arm backwards, so dumbbell ends up next to hip. Bend elbow and bring dumbbell back in to side of chest. Repeat.\r\nPerform 2 sets of 12-15 reps, with each arm.\r\n6. Plank with Alternating Kickbacks: Come to plank position, hands on dumbbells, shoulders stacked directly over hands, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping hips square and elbow close to side, bend right elbow, squeezing shoulder blades together, to raise dumbbell to side of chest. From there, keeping the rest of the body still, perform tricep kickback. Bring the weight back down to plank position. Repeat with other arm.\r\nPerform 2 sets of 14 reps, alternating arms.\r\n7. Finisher: Perform one set of each exercise adding 2 sets of 12 bicep curls in between each move.\r\nTrainer Tip: Adding curls in between triceps training will allow the triceps to rest but will keep blood flowing to the arms. Contrasting between bicep and tricep work is a great way to keep the arms pumped for an extended time. \r\n\r\nKettlebell Tricep Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Dasha Libin, creator of Kettlebell Kickboxing and co-owner of Anderson's Martial Arts in New York City\r\nEquipment: Kettlebells\r\nDirections: Perform the exercises in the order below.\r\nWarmup\r\nKettlebell Halos: Stand with feet shoulder width apart, holding kettlebell in front of chest, hands on either side. Left arms and circle them around head, making a halo-like shape, ending with kettlebell back in front of chest.\r\nDo 15 reps in each direction.\r\nWorkout\r\n1. Kettlebell Skull Crushers: Lie on the floor, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one kettlebell in each hand, holding handles with palms facing away from you, and press them up overhead. Keeping upper arm still, bend at elbows and slowly lower kettlebells towards head. Extend back upward. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 12 reps.\r\n2. Kettlebell Dips: Place kettlebells on the floor behind you, about hip width apart, and sit on floor slightly in front of them, legs extended straight out in front of you. Place hands on kettlebells. Push to extend arms fully, lifting butt and legs off the ground, heels planted, so body is in a reverse plank-like position, weight in arms and heels. Keeping elbows close to body, bend and lower body towards the ground. Push back up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 12 reps.\r\n3. Kettlebell Floor Press: Lie on the floor, knees bent, feet flat on the floor in front of you. Take one kettlebell in each hand at your sides, palms facing away from you holding handles. Keeping elbows tight to ribs, press kettlebells straight up over your chest. Lower until elbows tap the ground. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 12 reps.\r\n4. Kettlebell Tricep Push-Ups: Place kettlebell on ground in front of you. Place hands on it and come into plank position, shoulders stacked over hands, legs extended behind you, body in straight line from head to toe. Keeping elbows tight to body, bend elbows and lower chest to kettlebell. Push up up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 12 reps.\r\n\r\nMachine-Based Tricep Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Rachel Mariotti, personal trainer at Equinox in New York City\r\nEquipment: Smith machine, bench, cable, dumbbells\r\nDirections: Perform the exercises in the order below.\r\n1. Dips: Stand with a chair, box or bench directly behind you. Bend your knees and lower yourself until you can place one hand on either side of the surface behind you, shoulder width apart, arms fully extended. Extend your feet out in front of you so all the weight rests in your hands and your heels. Keeping your core and glutes tight and inline, using just your arms, bend your elbows and lower entire body down as far as your can. Push back up until arms are at full extension. Repeat\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps.\r\n2. Cable Overhead Tricep Extensions: Stand in front of cable and grab either straight handle bar or rope handles and lock it at the lowest point on the cable machine. With rope or bar in hands, turn away from anchor, bend elbows next to ears, hands behind head. Keeping elbows close to head, extend arms fully upward. Bend elbows and pull bar or rope back down behind head. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps.\r\n3. Single Arm Cable Tricep Extensions: Stand in front of cable and grab single handle, palm facing up, and lock it at the highest point on the cable machine. Facing anchor, step back and bend elbow into side of torso, hand near shoulder. This is starting position. Keeping elbow next to torso, straighten arm backwards, pulling hand and cable back. Bend elbow to come back to starting position. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps.\r\n4. Incline Push-Up On Smith Machine: Put bar on the Smith machine at an appropriate height, generally in between chest and waist. Place hand next to each other on bar and step back away from bar, until arms are fully extended. Put body on an angle, making a straight line fron head to toe, shoulders stacked over hands. Keeping elbows close to body, lower chest to the bar. Push back up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps.\r\n5. Kneeling Cable Tricep Extension: Place a bench perpendicular to the cable machine. Use straight bar handle and lock in highest cable position. Grab a straight bar, hands facing away from you, and pull down until your kneeling, elbow pointing straight in front of you, head down. This is starting position. Keeping elbows parallel to the floor, extend arms forward as far as you can. Bend elbows back to starting position. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps.\r\n6. Skull Crushers: Lie on bench, feet flat on the floor. Take one dumbbell in each hand and extend arms fully overhead, palms facing each other. Keeping upper arm still, bend at elbows and slowly lower dumbbells towards head. Extend back upward. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps\r\n7. Smith Machine Close Grip Bench Press: Place bench underneath Smith machine. Bar should be at locked height where arms are almost fully extended. Grip the bar with pointer fingers inside the knurling, so you’re holding the smooth part of the bar. Bend elbows and lower bar to chest. Keeping elbows close to body, push bar back up. Repeat.\r\nPerform 3 sets of 8-10 reps.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths.\r\n\r\nBest Tricep Stretches\r\n\r\nCreated by Kristin McGee, celebrity yoga instructor in New York City\r\nDirections: Perform the stretches in the order below.\r\n1. Cow Face Arms: Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Lift one arm overhead bend at the elbow and let the hand fall back between the shoulder blades. Take the opposite arm up behind the back and try and clasp the fingers together. If you can't reach the hands, use a towel or strap.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths, then switch sides.\r\n2. Elbow Bend on Bench: Kneel in front of bench. Cross arms, placing right hand on left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder. Place elbows on bench and let upper body fall, pushing weight into arms.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths.\r\n3. Overhead Tricep Stretch: Lift right arm up overhead, bend at the elbow and let the hand fall behind head, towards shoulder blades. Take left hand to the right elbow and help pull right arm backwards.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths.\r\n4. Forearm Downward Dog: Come to kneel, placing your forearms, hands extended out in front of you. Tuck toes under and lift hips up towards sky, extended legs into downward dog.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths.\r\n5. Crossbody Tricep Stretch: Stand with arms shoulder width apart, shoulders relaxed, arms at sides. Reach right arm across your body. Bend left elbow and reach right arm up until it touches right arm pushing it lightly into chest.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths, then switch arms.\r\n6. Hands Clasped behind Back: Stand with feet shoulder width and clasp hands behind back. Slowly bend forward, allowing arms to fall forward.\r\nHold for 5-8 breaths.\r\n\r\nTriceps HIIT Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Simon Lawson, instructor at The Fhitting Room in New York City\r\nEquipment: Kettlebell, ski erg, medicine ball, TRX, bench or box\r\nDirections: Try to complete the entire routine in less than 16 minutes.\r\n1. Kettlebell Goblet Squat to Overhead Tricep Extension: Stand with feet shoulder width apart, holding kettlebell at chest. Push knees, chest up, out as you sit back and down into a squat. Stand back up. Raise kettlebell overhead. Keeping elbows close to ears, bend and lower kettlebell behind head. Straighten arms back up overhead. Bring kettlebell back to chest. Repeat\r\nPerform 12 reps\r\n2. Ski Erg: Stand in front of ski erg, facing it. Grab one handle in each hand. This is starting position. Keeping back flat, bend knees slightly, pull elbows down to sides, then extend arms fully behind you. Return hands back up to starting position. Repeat.\r\nPerform 45 seconds\r\nTrainer Tip: Your goal is to hit 175 meters.\r\n3. Plank Ups: Come to the floor into forearm plank, shoulders stacked over elbows, forearms resting on the floor, lets extended out behind you, body in straight line from head to toe. Lift right arm and place hand on the ground, then lift left arm and place hand on the ground, pushing body up to extended plank. Lower right arm then left arm back to forearm plank. That’s one rep.\r\nPerform 12 reps, alternating which hand goes first each time.\r\n4. Wall Balls: Stand facing wall, about a foot away, holding medicine ball at chest level. Push knees out, chest up, and you sit back and down into squat. As you stand up, extend arms up and throw ball up to hit high point on wall. Catch it at full extension. Repeat in a fluid motion.\r\nPerform 20 reps.\r\n5. Mountain Climbers : Come into extended plank position, hands directly under shoulders, legs extended behind you, body in straight line from head to toe. Bend elbows slightly. Keeping back and core flat, lift right leg and bend knee up between arms. Return it back down. Lift left leg and bend knee up between arms. Return it back down. Continue alternating as fast as possible.\r\nPerform for 45 seconds.\r\n6. Jungle Gym/TRX Tricep Extension: Stand in front of TRX, grab handles with either hand, and turn to face away from anchor. Extend arms up, so elbows are inline with ears, hands expended in front of you, palms facing away, and walk away from anchor until there’s tension, body on an angle. Lean into handles. Keeping elbows next to ears, bend elbows letting arms drop behind head. Use arms to straighten arms back to full extension. Repeat.\r\nPerform 12 reps\r\n7. Tricep Kick-Backs : Stand with feet shoulder width apart, dumbbell in either hand, bend knees slightly, and keeping back straight, lean chest forward slightly. Pulling shoulder blades together, bend elbows upward, raising dumbbells to sides of chest. Without moving upper arm, fully extend right arm backwards, so dumbbell ends up next to hip. Bend elbow and bring dumbbell back in to side of chest. Repeat with left arm.\r\nPerform 10 reps with each arm.\r\n8. Dips: Stand with a chair, box or bench directly behind you. Bend your knees and lower yourself until you can place one hand on either side of the surface behind you, shoulder width apart, arms fully extended. Extend your feet out in front of you so all the weight rests in your hands and your heels. Keeping your core and glutes tight and inline, using just your arms, bend your elbows and lower entire body down as far as your can. Push back up until arms are at full extension.\r\nPerform 20 reps.\r\n\r\n10-Minute Triceps Workout\r\n\r\nCreated by Kenny Santucci, coach at CrossFit Solace in New York City\r\nEquipment: Parallete bars\r\nDirections: 10-minute AMRAP (As Many Rounds as Possible) of the following 3 movements. Each set will begin with a 10 second hold, followed by 3-5 repetitions of the movement depending on skill level and strength level.\r\n1. Handstand Hold to Handstand Push-Ups: Place hands on ground in front of wall and kick legs up into a handstand hold, balancing against the wall. Hold 10 seconds. Then, slowly, bend elbows and lower head to ground. Straight arms to push back up to full extension. Repeat 3-5 reps\r\nTrainer Tip: Place an ab mat on the floor under your head to prevent slamming your head into the ground. To modify, stand in front of a big box (20-24 inch). Place hands on the ground and walk feet on top of box. Straighten legs so they are in a pike, body in a 90-degree angle. Perform push-ups like this.\r\n2. Parallete Bar Plank to Maltese Push-Ups: Come to the floor, place hands on parallette bars and get into plank position, hands directly inline under shoulders, body in straight line from head to toe. Hold for 10 seconds. Come to floor and place hands on ground underneath ribcage backwards, fingers facing toes. Extend legs back and come up to toes, so all weight is on hands and toes. Keeping body in straight line, lower down as far as you can. Push back up. Repeat 3-5 reps.\r\n3. L-Sit Hold to Dips: Sit between parallette bars, feet extended straight out in front of you. Place hands on parallette bars. Keeping legs extended forward parallel to the floor, push arms up straight and use upper and lower body to raise legs in front of you. Hold for 10 seconds. Lower legs to ground, arms still extended, so body is in a reverse plank like position. Keeping elbows tight to body, bend elbows and lower body as close to ground as you can. Push back up. Repeat 3-5 reps.\r\nTrainer Trip: To scale L-sit, bend your knees in as close to your chest as you need, but keep legs off the ground.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Leg Workouts for Men\r\n5 Stretches Specifically for Men Over 30\r\nThe Best Shoulder Workouts", "keywords": "Best, Tricep, Workout, Routines", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/top_10/fitness/top-10-tricep-exercises/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1761932911.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/fitness/top-10-tricep-exercises.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109075", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Buy Her a Sex Toy", "title_slug": "how-to-buy-her-a-sex-toy", "title_hash": "898f8bdbf8ca0f02ec3e88f04e14a990", "summary": "Buying her a sex toy? You're a brave man. Here's how to avoid the massive margin of error that this purchase presents.", "content": "There are a lot of misconceptions about people who use sex toys… particularly when it comes to using a toy with your partner. \r\nFor example, a lot of people think that by bringing a toy, or lube, or something that vibrates into the sack, the reason for doing so must be because there's something lacking in the bedroom. Which is completely not true. \r\nActually, it's often the opposite. When the sex is so good that you can't even imagine what could possibly make it better, well, that's the perfect time to start exploring the vast world of sex toys.\r\nIf sex toys make you picture something phallic-looking that a woman can only use on her own, think again. Thanks to the latest and greatest in sex toy technology advancements, today there are sex toys specifically engineered with the pleasure of both parties in mind. Some are even remote control-operated or can sync to Bluetooth. \r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Women, Revealed \r\nPlus, there's so much more to experience when it comes to sex toys beyond the ones that vibrate. There's no better time to start experimenting with any bondage fantasies you or your partner might want to dip your toe into thanks to a pair of sexy leather cuffs. Or if you're looking for something a bit wilder, why not combine two of the most fun activities there are, and hang up a sex swing at your place to take for a spin? \r\nIf you didn't even know that something like a sex swing existed, you're starting to get the idea of just how many toys there are out there that you and your partner could be missing out on.\r\nBut of course, you can't just show up to her place armed with a bag full of vibrators and bondage toys to try. And breaking out a magic wand or set of anal beads mid act is probably going to make things pretty weird, too. Experts agree that there needs to be a conversation had beforehand. \r\n\"Whenever you want to try something new in bed, talk about it outside of bed,\" says relationship expert April Masini. That way there’s no pressure and if one of you rejects the idea, it’s less a rejection of sex than it is of the actual new device.\" \r\nSo, how should you frame the conversation?\r\nAccording to Masini, your best bet is to do your homework, and make sure you know about all the benefits of the toy that you're suggesting the two of you use. \r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Men, Revealed\r\n“Like anything you’re trying to sell, start with why you think it would be good for the person you’re selling,” she says. “In other words, make the pitch be all about the other person!”\r\nLuckily, we've done the work for you. We've rounded up some of the top sex toys out there on the market, and laid out all the pros of each one. \r\nWhether you're looking to start small with a sex accessory, a toy that you can both use together, or one for your partner to fly solo with, we've got some suggestions that are sure to make your special someone pretty happy.\r\n\r\nToys to Increase Pleasure During Sex\r\n\r\nIf your partner is into the idea of you using a toy on her during the act (there are some incredible sex toys for women on the market), or if the two of you are interested in options that stimulate both your private parts simultaneously (yes, such magic exists), here are a few adult toys to consider that are easy to operate, and get the job done.\r\nDame Eva II Hands-Free Couples Toy\r\n\r\nBest For: The woman who needs a little extra clit stimulation during penetrative sex\r\nTypically, using a sex toy means that you're taking turns. And of course, it's hot to watch your partner react to all the stimulation of the toy you're using on her. But we don't blame you for wanting to get in on the action. The solution? A couples vibrator that stimulates both of you. The Eva II from Dame is designed to be worn during intercourse, and it fits right under your partner's labia. Meaning, both parties get to enjoy the sensation it gives off. Plus, it stays put, no matter what position you and your partner shift to.$129 at Dame.com \r\nWomanizer Next\r\n\r\nBest For: The woman who wants a lot of extra clit stimulation during penetration \r\nThere’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little classic vibration, but the past decade of vibrators has undeniably been all about airflow and suction technology. One of the first brands to dominate the field was the Womanizer, and their recent Next model is another strong offering to deliver powerful orgasms without overstimulating the clit. While it’s definitely an option for her solo experiences, its small size and quietude make it a great option for partnered sex as well.$219 at Womanizer.com\r\nWe-Vibe Sync O\r\n\r\nBest For: The woman who wants all-over vibration pleasure during P-i-V sex\r\nLike a rabbit toy, the We-Vibe Sync O is designed to stimulate the clit and the G-spot at the same time. But unlike a rabbit toy, it’s designed to be used during penis-in-vagina penetration… the slim profile means there’s lots of space for you to slide in there and experience the vibrations at the same time. $179 at We-Vibe.com \r\nFantasy Door Swing\r\n\r\nBest For: Adventurous women who love trying new positions\r\nThink about how much fun swinging on a swing was back in your playground days. Now imagine combining that with sex. What a time to be alive, am I right? Using a sex swing opens you up to a whole new world of sex position opportunities. If you're thinking, 'that seems like it'd be uncomfortable,' you're wrong. With a padded seat to keep whoever's on the bottom nice and comfy, and super easy setup (all you need is a sturdy door in your house to get this baby rocking), there's no reason not to be swinging your partner to the big O on the regular.$26.77 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nToys to Masturbate With\r\n\r\nThis section is full of toys that your partner can use on her own, when she's missing you. Or while the two of you are having steamy FaceTime sex. Or for her to use when she's teasing you with dirty Snapchats. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that these are gifts you'll also most definitely benefit from.\r\nRechargeable Magic Wand\r\n\r\nBest For: Women who likes to take their time with it \r\nIf this is the first wand (or for that matter, sex toy) that your partner has ever owned and operated, there’s no reason not to gift her with the classic. This magic wand features (a more manageable) four vibration settings, with a simple on/off switch, and immense amounts of vibration power for maximum stimulation of the clitoris. It's also rechargeable, and reaches full power after just three hours of being plugged in. It's a solid sex toy that’s beloved by beginners and experts alike, and an ideal introduction into the magic world of wands.$159.99 at AdamEve.com \r\nplusOne Rose Arouser\r\n\r\nBest For: The woman who likes orgasms (if her beau is on a budget)\r\nVery few sex toys can double as a statement decor piece, but rose toys also have a beautiful aesthetic. This one from plusOne is not only a very solid airflow-based option but it’s also got an absurdly reasonable price point. Want to blow your partner’s mind without breaking the bank? This is your best bet.$19.99 at Amazon.com \r\nSatisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3\r\n\r\nBest For: The always on-the-go woman who gets shit done effectively\r\nAnother ideal toy for a first time user. It’s not as small as a bullet vibrator, but if the true-to-size vibrators and dildos feel too intimidating for your partner, get her something small that packs just as much of a punch. Using powerful airflow technology to drive her clit wild, the reviews confirm that this is one of the best masturbation toys out there for women.$89.95 at Satisfyer.com \r\nFifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator\r\n\r\nBest For: The woman who craves G-spot and clit stimulation at the same time\r\nWhat were we saying about rabbit toys? Though the Fifty Shades branding may feel a touch retro at this point, this toy is anything but passé. It mixes deep, powerful G-spot vibrations with lots of clitoral stimulation from its pointy ears… a perfect gift for any girl who’s greedy for pleasure. $99.99 at Lovehoney.com\r\n\r\nToys for Teasing Your Partner\r\n\r\nForeplay — or non-penetrative sex — is a key component to a quality sex life, so you'll want to invest in a few toys that take teasing your partner to the next level. Here are the best toys for getting her turned on before the act.\r\nLovense Lush 4\r\n\r\nBest For: Women who love getting teased in public\r\nEver wanted to have total control over your partner’s sexual pleasure... while out and about in public? Yes, it’s possible, thanks to Bluetooth toys like the Lush 4 from Lovense. It syncs with an app, allowing you to use your phone to slowly (or quickly) drive your partner wild from afar. Pro tip: Play with this one out in a public setting. Being turned on without being able to go at it with each other will build up sexual tension that's earth-shattering once it finally gets released. $129 at Lovense.com \r\nUPKO F*ck Me Leather Cuffs\r\n\r\nBest For: Those who are curious about getting a little kinky with restraint play\r\nIf you're ready for something more intense than holding your partner’s hands or tying them with a necktie or length or fabric you have lying around, maybe you’re ready for something a little more badass than fuzzy handcuffs. Skip the small stuff and go right for the big leagues — these gorgeous leather cuffs from UPKO are so hot they were featured in a real-life kinky movie. $149.99 at UpkoUsa.com \r\nLovehoney All Tied Up Bondage Play Kit\r\n\r\nBest For: Those who are excited to explore all kinds of BDSM kinks.\r\nRestraint play is great, but it’s only one facet of BDSM. If you want to dip your toes in a variety of kinky playstyles together, this kit from Lovehoney is a great option. It’s got beginner-friendly quick-release cuffs, a flogger for whipping, nipple suckers, a tiny bullet vibrator, a face mask and more. Three cheers for versatility! $94.99 at Lovehoney.com \r\nThree Bump Silicone Anal Butt Plug\r\n\r\nBest For: Butt stuff enthusiasts who want to start using toys\r\nSo, your partner wants to play around with butt plugs. One of the weirdest things about starting to use this kind of toy is sticking something in your butt and leaving it there. The solution? A butt plug with a handle. This one features three varying sizes, so that you can play around with different fits until she finds the right one.$12.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nSex Accessories\r\n\r\nSo they're not necessarily sex toys... but they are products that can boost your sex life in a big way. Adding a few simple sex accessories to your arsenal is an easy way to shake things up without investing hundreds of dollars in an assortment of toys. Here are a few key recommendations.\r\nPjur Analyse Me! Relaxing Lube\r\n\r\nBest For: The first-time anal explorer looking to dip her toe into the world of butt stuff.\r\nWhat were we just saying about anal stuff? Don’t try sticking anything up there without some lube. We’re big fans of this one from Pjur, which uses jojoba oil to help relax the sphincter muscles. That being said, don’t mix this with the aforementioned silicone butt plug — silicone lube will degrade silicone toys. Instead, use it for finger- or penis-based penetration, or metal/non-silicone toys, and save a water-based lube like this one for silicone toys. $32.50 at Pjur.com \r\nEpiphany Clit Arousal Serum\r\n\r\nBest For: The girl who has multiple orgasm goals\r\nThere are tons of arousal-enhancing gels and serums out there these days (we wrote an article about them all), so if your partner’s looking for a little something extra when it comes to her pleasure, grab a bottle of Epiphany and spread a small amount on her clit to make her most sensitive part even more stimulated. It’ll give her a pleasant, tingling feeling that’ll help orgasms come more easily.$34 at TryEpiphany.com\r\nThe Pelvic People Kiwi\r\n\r\nBest For: Women who experience entry pain with penetration\r\nUnfortunately, lots of people with vaginas experience pain from penetration. If that’s your partner, you should check out the Kiwi from the Pelvic People. It’s designed to help your partner get comfortable with penetration; its smooth, non-phallic shape means it combines a gentle entry experience with clitoral vibration, reinforcing the pleasure potential of internal sensations. (Or try their Ohnut depth-limiting rings to allow you to thrust without needing her to take your entire length.)$115 at ThePelvicPeople.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThe Best Masturbation Toys for MenHow to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your RelationshipWhy You Should Buy Your Partner a Sex Toy", "keywords": "How, Buy, Her, Sex, Toy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2018/08/06-034710-how_to_buy_her_a_sex_toy.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/135_love_secrets.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109076", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Struggle to Find Sex Education Content on Social Media", "title_slug": "the-struggle-to-find-sex-education-content-on-social-media", "title_hash": "706673a02237a45cfd75e1662ac8d50c", "summary": "How to Spread Sex Ed Info on Social Media Platforms That Hate Sex", "content": "We all know social media can be a hotbed of hatred and toxicity, but it remains one of the most important resources many of us have when it comes to sexual health and education.\r\nThat goes especially for marginalized or minority groups. For instance, a recent University of British Columbia study found traditional sex education is failing LGBTQ students, which undoubtedly explains their increased willingness to use digital tools for health advice.\r\nBut content publishers face a constant battle as platforms restrict, ban or deplatform them over arbitrary, inconsistent and opaque rulings and policies.\r\nRELATED: Best Sexual Health and Sex Education Resources \r\nIn late 2024, many saw the large media (including social media) companies reorienting themselves with a new political paradigm to curry favor with the incoming administration. They abolished DEI policies, turned sharply to the right — both fomenting and reflecting anti-queer and anti-trans rhetoric — and decimated their trust, safety and moderation mechanisms.\r\nSex ed and health online have never had it harder online.\r\n\r\nThe Importance of Social Media for Sex Ed\r\n\r\nWith deepfakes, cyberbullying and politically motivated misinformation at epidemic levels, you might think social media is the worst place to go for sex or fertility advice. \r\nIn the hands of the education system, at least parents and voters theoretically have a hand in what's taught, surely?\r\nRELATED: What You’d Learn in Sex Ed Today That You Didn’t 20 Years Ago \r\nIn a perfect world, maybe, but official sex education is woefully inadequate. Fully 90 percent of respondents to a survey from fertility services provider Miracare felt unprepared by their sex education for real-life interactions, with almost half turning to online sources for information. \r\nMeanwhile, sex ed’s impact doesn’t begin and end in the bedroom — 44 percent of US adults surveyed by the Kinsey institute believe additional sex education would have led to healthier romantic relationships.\r\nAnd as you'd expect, the internet is the first port of call for digital native generations to learn about almost everything, including sex. A McKinsey Health report revealed social media is the second most used source for health information (after healthcare providers) for 38 percent of Gen Zs, compared to 6 percent for baby boomers.\r\n“The reality is people aren't learning about sexual health in schools or having regular conversations in their day to day lives,” says Greta Bollmeier, editorial manager at Winx Health. “In fact, only 17 states require medically accurate sex education. The internet becomes a primary source for questions people have about their bodies and health.\"\r\nAs well as making it easy for users to engage with information, social media is also unique in offering the greatest bang for buck for content publishers, which might make it the perfect channel for the job.\r\n“As a sexual wellness company, spreading the word about what we do isn't straightforward,” says Mariah Freya, CEO and co-founder of Beducated. “We can't slap an ad on TV or a billboard and call it a day. We're a small company on a tight budget and we rely heavily on digital channels, so we really need to nail our social media game.”\r\n\r\nEverything in (Content) Moderation\r\n\r\nMany sex educators put a lot of work into making their content age- and audience-appropriate in line with community values, which should make it easy to publish on social media — if these platforms’ standards were consistent.\r\nBut that's far from the case. For one, they can be subject to the political whims of a handful of tech bros, as we saw when Elon Musk took over ownership of Twitter/X, later jumping into bed with the incoming Trump administration.\r\nFor two, they often run on far-reaching and largely automated systems that conduct routine content sweeps and arbitrarily block content or ban accounts — systems with far less oversight by human moderators than they used to have, as we've seen.\r\nAnna Lee, co-founder of Lioness, which she says is the first vibrator that gives real orgasm data, agrees. After a decade of experience, she calls social media “one of the most unpredictable parts of our journey.”\r\n“The goalposts are always moving,” Lee notes. “Ads that run for months without issue suddenly get flagged or banned without explanation. Sometimes the same creative gets approved on one channel but blocked on another.”\r\nOften, no real reason is given for bans or restrictions. Beducated shared a screenshot of their TikTok ban with us, which says only “the website link in your profile violated our Community Guidelines.”\r\nWe tried to get information on what really happens inside social media networks when they scan, restrict or ban content in accounts, to little avail. Meta (Facebook and Instagram) never replied, and TikTok declined to answer specific questions, offering only the following statement:\r\n“Our Community Guidelines prohibit misinformation, including medical misinformation, that may cause significant harm to people. Through our Global Fact-Checking Program, TikTok partners with over 20 IFCN-accredited fact-checking organizations around the world, who help assess the accuracy of TikTok content so our moderators can apply our misinformation policies accordingly.”\r\nSocial media platforms’ inconsistent bans and restrictions don’t just bother sex educators, with plenty of other sectors also crying foul. TruPlay, a developer that makes kids' apps and games with Christian themes, recently said that while tech platforms run ads featuring violent and graphic images that are aimed at kids, their own content is routinely flagged and banned by Google and TikTok. \r\nAs Verena Singmann, head of PR at Lovehoney Group, which describes itself as a sexual happiness company, says, “Unfortunately there's no clear logic or consistency behind how these situations are handled, which makes the process difficult to navigate and even harder to cope with.”\r\nAt Lioness, Lee has been further into the inner workings of Meta community standards than others we spoke to, having played what she calls 'the semantics game' with them. In one case, Meta representatives directly suggested she call her product “a massager for tension relief” because “a massager to help you understand your pleasure” would cross the line. \r\nAfter vibrators like the Magic Wand began life as all-purpose massagers for tension relief that began to be used for sexual purposes until they started being marketed exclusively for masturbation, we’re now seeing things come full-circle, with purpose-built sex toys being asked to market themselves as all-purpose massagers. \r\nAt Beducated, Freya thinks automated content management raises its own problems. \r\n“While these systems aim to enforce community guidelines, they often result in false positives, impacting content like ours,” she says. \r\n“Automated moderation is very poor at distinguishing things like porn from sex ed,” agrees Dr. Justin Lehmiller, scientific advisor at Lovehoney Group, “which is why a lot of educators and health organizations have found themselves censored or deplatformed simply for trying to teach people about sex and the human body.”\r\nThis is the kind of thing that, if these platforms were interested in doing so, it might be possible to create clearer internal definitions around the differences between porn and sex ed, to help restrict one while promoting the other. However, the fact that \r\n\r\nAppealing to Authority\r\n\r\nTo be completely fair, social media networks couldn’t operate without some degree of automated content moderation — the entire human population probably isn't enough to keep up with the flood of social media content, let alone experienced moderators, with Instagram alone reportedly recording 4.2 billion likes every day.\r\nAnd while it is disappointing that platforms don’t seem to have put in effort to differentiate educational content from salacious content, it is somewhat understandable given the way important and necessary sex ed is still seen as controversial by many people. \r\nAnother major issue exists, however, and that’s when publishers try to engage with platforms to make their case after bans or restrictions. The notice Beducated received contains a link to appeal, but what happens after that? When two social media accounts owned by Lovehoney Group were disabled by Meta, it resulted in a very long and cumbersome process. \r\nRELATED: Which Countries Have the Best Sex Education? \r\n“Despite multiple follow-ups, including outreach through legal counsel, Meta provided no specific details and repeatedly cited guideline violations,” Singmann says. “There's no clear or reliable system for resolving bans or suspensions. Once notified of a ban, the only available option is to appeal. Recently, members of our social team were even required to submit government IDs to verify their identities.”\r\nAnd then, if the account is moved from 'suspended' to 'permanently disabled', she says there's no further recourse available. \r\n\"Although we've managed to reach Meta representatives directly, thanks to years of persistence, the company still refused to reinstate the account, even though there were no active content flags,” says Singmann. “Our legal team later sent a letter of demand, but no action was taken.”\r\nRELATED: Can A.I. Deliver Accurate Sex Education? \r\nAs for Beducated, Freya and her colleagues did instigate an appeal, but says their appeals haven't been addressed, leaving them very much in the dark. \r\n“After our Instagram account ban in February 2021 and the TikTok account ban in January 2024, where we managed to submit appeals, our Instagram account was restored almost nine months later, but the TikTok account remains banned, with no communication from the platform to date.”\r\nWhen asked how responsive the appeals mechanisms are, Freya answers “not at all.”\r\nSingmann says when content's been flagged by Meta's AI system, it's extremely difficult to reach a human representative without ‘insider connections.’\r\nRELATED: New Survey Shows Sex Miseducation Is Still Rampant \r\n“Many services end up buying a Meta Pro subscription as it's the only reliable way to speak with a Meta Agent directly, but even then the response is usually, 'We've passed your case on to our specialized team,’” Singmann says. \r\n\r\nThe Sexism of Sex Content Bans\r\n\r\nBut here's something even stranger. When everything from OnlyFans clips and revenge porn to mainstream adult studio output floods your platform, isn't it a bit hypocritical banning sex ed and health services for their content?\r\nAt Winx, Bollmeier thinks it reveals an underlying sexism overall. \r\n“Sex sells, but the way we're taught about sex — especially through mainstream heterosexual porn — is overwhelmingly focused on men's pleasure, which is harmful to both women and men. Good sex is about both partners' pleasure.”\r\nShe says the orgasm gap is a perennial topic at Winx Health, where straight women orgasm significantly less than straight men during sex, something she blames on how male-centric sexual content is. \r\n“Social platforms seem comfortable with sex when it's about men's pleasure and consumption,” Bollmeier notes. “But when it comes to women's autonomy — conversations about birth control, abortion access, reproductive rights, not getting pregnant — it doesn't fit the narrative. It's a really frustrating double standard.”\r\nLovehoney Group's Lehmiller also notes that there’s a fine line social media platforms are trying to walk. \r\n“While platforms can benefit from having this type of content in terms of getting views, the same content is often risky with respect to their bottom line,” he explains. “Social networks need to navigate the demands of payment processors, advertisers and governmental and regulatory bodies, all of which have their own policies around ‘adult content.’”\r\nAnd where else might that sexism come from? Could the notoriously misogynistic, hyper-masculine culture inside successful online companies affect content policies as their (male) leaders reshape the digital world at every whim? \r\n\r\nHow Shifting Standards Hurt Vulnerable People\r\n\r\nIf you're skeptical you might still be asking 'so what?' Reputable advice about fertility and sexual health and assault/abuse resources isn't that hard to find. Does it really matter if a few (even most) Instagram accounts about it get banned?\r\nRELATED: Common Sexual Assault and Violence Myths, Debunked \r\nUnfortunately it's not just well-meaning, well-informed content creators affected, it’s also actual doctors. In short, the very people we're supposed to trust with health information are being deplatformed.\r\nWorse still, social media bans don’t just mean a lack of access — they could also impact the way people see the field of sex ed as a whole, which increases the risk of exposure to harmful misinformation.\r\n“I've seen examples where female patients don't have access to treatment or pleasurable experiences because these social media accounts they followed were suddenly banned,” says David Ghozland, an OB/GYN, author and lecturer. \r\n“Restrictions do more harm than shutting down accounts,” Ghozland explains. “They compound stigma around sexual health by classifying medically accurate information as toxic. For the average user, that barrier increases shame and distrust.”\r\nRELATED: How to Kick Sexual Shame\r\n“They're not just removing content,” agrees Winx’s Bollmeier, “they're actively harming people who need access to this information to make safe, informed decisions about their bodies and their health.”\r\nAnd while it wasn’t exactly rosy for sex ed content creators in years past, things can seem especially bleak at the moment. It's also hard to deny the discourse has swung away from sex acceptance since Donald Trump’s reelection — as Bollmeier says, “Unfortunately, sex education and sexual wellness is being vilified right now.”\r\n“The censorship has gotten significantly worse over the past year and it's hard to ignore the timing and the pattern we're seeing,” she says. “The restriction of sex education content, particularly content focused on women's reproductive autonomy, has ramped up significantly at the same time we're seeing these broader political shifts.”\r\n“During the first month of this administration, reproductive information was removed from government websites,” Bollmeier notes. “Whether it's intentionally politically motivated or just these platforms trying to avoid controversy with the current administration, the end result is the same.”\r\nAt Lioness, it was even more overt. \r\n“At one point we weren't allowed to run any Meta ads,” Lee says. “Meta reps told our agency to sit tight until after the election, when policies around anything related to sex were stricter.”\r\nAnd if social media platforms selectively curate content to adhere to a conservative sociopolitical mood in an age of post Roe vs Wade, anti-trans sentiment or the dismantling of DEI, recent research from Yale University says they could do so undetected, highlighting scary powers of “opinion manipulation.”\r\n\r\nSex Educators’ Shrewd Social Strategies\r\n\r\nSo in the face of so much uncertainty, is there anything content publishers can do to ensure they stay online? \r\nBollmeier's advice is as simple as it is depressing: Know someone who works at a social media company. \r\nRELATED: Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing \r\n“It isn't sustainable or fair, especially for individual creators or small teams like ours. We're a three-person content team trying to reach millions of people, and we shouldn't have to have personal connections inside these tech companies just to do that work.”\r\nFor now, the most reliable method seems to be creative self-censorship. \r\n“Mentioning words like 'sex', 'vulva' or 'orgasm' might get you shadow-banned or even kicked off a platform, which has existential repercussions for us,” says Beducated's Freya.\r\nThat means getting creative with what she calls 'algospeak’: swapping words, tweaking spellings or using symbols like emojis instead of letters. Even then, she warns it's a bit of an arms race, with algorithms getting smarter and eventually catching on, meaning it’s only a matter of time before sex educators have to change strategies once again. \r\nRELATED: Dirty Emojis and How to Use Them \r\nOf course, the more they have to do so, the greater the risk that their workarounds will also mean their advice is flying over the heads of their audience — or simply isn’t as findable. \r\n“It makes it trickier for people to find reliable info on sexual health, because they can't just search the straightforward terms,” Freya adds. One educator \r\nLoveHoney Group, which eventually got its two accounts reinstated thanks to “persistence, connections and previous experience with the process,” has its own playbook for the photos, illustrations and text posts can contain. \r\n“We've become very creative in how we talk about self-pleasure and self-love without actually talking about it,” says Singmann. \r\nCrucially, one of the most important resources content creators have to navigate the minefield of social media policies is community support, with Singmann mentioning the r/InstagramDisabledHelp subreddit in particular.\r\n\r\nDo Social Media Platforms Have a Responsibility?\r\n\r\nOn the flip side, you could argue social media companies don't owe us anything. \r\nTheir business model is much the same as a 20th century-era TV network — you're not the customer, you're the product being sold to advertisers. \r\nRELATED: Sex Statistics That Too Many Guys Don't Know \r\nAnd when you start an account you agree to their T&Cs, unwieldy as they may be. Do content creators really have the right to complain about inconsistent bans and restrictions?\r\nMaybe so, but at Lovehoney Group, Lehmiller reminds us about the context of social media's size and reach. \r\n“Instagram and TikTok aren't niche platforms, they've become the public square for information sharing,” he says. “[Social media has] overtaken television as a primary news source, so saying people can just go elsewhere rings pretty hollow. Where else is there to go where you can connect and share information on the same scale?”\r\nSo in the world of sexual ed and health, especially when so many government jurisdictions are falling down on the job (or worse, letting political agendas creep in), social media might be something of a necessary evil. \r\nAnd when 55 percent of adults use social media to find health information and advice 'at least occasionally', as per a recent poll, we can't ignore the impact it's having. Here’s hoping that the pendulum starts to swing in the other direction before long. \r\nSocial media where sexual health and pleasure-oriented sex ed aren’t shadowbanned (or just simply banned outright) could be a hugely powerful tool for reducing STI transmission, shame and negative health outcomes while promoting healthy understandings of sex and desire. At least, we can dream…\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCommon Sex Mistakes Men MakeThings Guys Need to Unlearn About SexWhat Men Need to Know About Sex by 30", "keywords": "The, Struggle, Find, Sex, Education, Content, Social, Media", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/the-struggle-to-find-sex-education-content-on-social-media/askmen-lead-image-2x1-53-1761938956.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/the-struggle-to-find-sex-education-content-on-social-media.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109077", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Coach: Do Women Actually Want Good Guys?", "title_slug": "dating-coach-do-women-actually-want-good-guys", "title_hash": "17cfd8258e94841882d51453aa3d6779", "summary": "She Said I’m “Too Nice”… Then Went Back to Her Toxic Ex. What Did I Do Wrong?", "content": "Welcome to AskMen’s latest column, Dating Coach, a monthly exploration of the difficulties guys face when it comes to modern dating. We’ve got a real, actual dating coach in Connell Barrett walking guys like you through everything from the most basic of the basics to the most pro of the pro tips.\r\nThe Question\r\nThings were going great with a woman I was seeing, but last week she ended it. She told me she’s not looking to date right now. A couple days later I was up late on Instagram and saw that she’s back with her ex, who had cheated on her. I DM’d her for answers, and she said, “You’re just too nice.” I feel crushed and confused! Am I supposed to treat people badly? Do women even want good guys? \r\n— Frustrated in Phoenix \r\nThe Answer\r\nInstagram should come with a warning label: “Danger! Scrolling at 3 a.m. may make you question your romantic worth.” \r\nThat must have hurt, Frustrated. You feel played, replaced, and you’re wondering what you did wrong. \r\nRELATED: Common Mistakes Men Make in the First Few Dates\r\nOdds are, she didn’t reject you for being nice. She rejected you because you were afraid to be anything besides nice. It’s like you opened an ice cream shop but only served vanilla. \r\nAs a dating coach, my educated guess is that you played it safe and didn’t project the kind of steely certainty that so many women tend to want from men. That can push women away, sometimes into the arms of jerks. \r\n“You’re too nice” is code. It likely means you were so focused on saying and doing what you thought she wanted that you forgot to show up as you and decisively lead the dating dance.\r\nRELATED: What Women Say & What They Really Mean \r\nTo be clear: The vast majority of women do want nice, kind men. But they also want men to show up with confidence, not permission slips. So ignore the Manosphere noise about how nice guys finish last with women, OK? (The only thing the Red Pill guys are sleeping with is their Xbox.)\r\nHow do I know? I tried being a jerk. It backfired. Long before I became a dating coach, I was a struggling single guy trying to figure out how to connect with women. I once hired a pickup artist who said, “Connell, you’re too nice. Be a dick to women.” \r\nI acted arrogant on dates. I approached girls and said crass things (“Are all your friends hotter than you?”). One peeved woman poured a pitcher of ice-water down my shirt. (It was the least sexy cold shower of my life.) \r\nRELATED: What Guys Get Wrong About Flirting \r\nIt didn’t work, and I felt awful… and not just because I was acting like an ass. I wasn’t being me, a nice guy from a nice Ohio family. The girls I met could smell my agenda like too much Axe Body Spray. \r\nSo what do women really want? I got a surprising answer one night at a Tiki bar in Miami, when I met a Maxim model named Julie. “I am so sick of arrogant men,” she said. “I’d love to meet a nice guy, but they never approach me.” Then Julie said something I’ll never forget, a truth I remind all of my clients: “Nice guys are sexier than six-pack abs — as long as they have a backbone.”\r\nKindness without confidence leads to rejection. Confidence without kindness is just being a jerk. You need both kindness and confidence. \r\nI know it was hurtful and confusing to see her go back to the same man who’d cheated on her, when all you’d like to be is a devoted boyfriend. Some women choose a toxic guy because he comes off as a leader who unapologetically says and does what he wants. Jerks aren’t attractive because they’re jerks, but because they project confidence and self-certainty — the backbone that Julie mentioned. \r\nRELATED: How to Build Confidence When Dealing With Self-Image Issues \r\nYou likely played it a bit too safe with the woman you were dating, which she read as a lack of confidence. \r\nI’ll bet your courtship with her played out this way. On your first date, you wanted to kiss her, but you just gave her a hug. You wanted to tell her how sexy she is, but you bit your tongue so as not to be “creepy.” When she suggested, say, Thai food (which you hate) you said, “Sure, whatever you want!” \r\nYou were so busy being the man you thought she wanted that you forgot to be the man you are inside. That pushed her away.\r\nMale-female attraction needs polarity, romantic tension. A woman in touch with her feminine side tends to like a man who exudes strength. That doesn’t mean be an asshole. It means be a man who leads with certainty. \r\nRELATED: How to Exude Confidence When Dating Someone New \r\nSo how do you show up differently with the next woman you meet? Here are three suggestions.\r\n1. Lead the Dating Dance\r\nDating is a dance, and it’s the man’s job to lead. Instead of asking, “Where do you want to go?” you might say, “Let’s try my favorite wine bar — I think you’ll love it.” \r\nDating coach tip: Use the word “let’s” often (“Let’s grab fish tacos on Tuesday,” “Let’s go on a second date…”). “Let’s” lets you lead without sounding bossy. Oh, and it’s way better than, “So…umm…maybe… if you’re not busy this decade…?”\r\n2. Playfully Disagree with Her (If You Mean It)\r\nHave you ever noticed that in rom-coms the two leads always have flinty, flirty banter… often bordering on bickering? \r\nIn your early text messages and dates, feel free to disagree with her a time or two to see if that ignites spark, always keeping it playful. (“Wait, you think pineapple belongs on pizza? I was so into you until you said that!”) \r\nSwitch your filter from “Will she approve of this?” to “What do I honestly feel about this?”\r\n3. Show Her the Perfectly Imperfect You\r\nAs you move through dates 1 through 4, lower your guard more and more, and show vulnerability. Reveal your fears and imperfections. Now, don’t unload a ton of trauma, but share the story about the day you got laid off or admit a deep fear you don’t tell most people. \r\nOn my second date with my girlfriend Jess, I told her about my nine-week failed marriage, and how it was mostly my fault. It didn’t scare her off. She appreciated my openness, and (I hope) saw that I was working on myself and trying to grow. Women like it when a guy drops his guard. \r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability \r\nHere’s the truth: It’s good to be nice! Ignore all that Red Pill noise. Niceness is a virtue women want.You were too soft, too supplicating… but not too nice. What repels women isn’t kindness. It’s fear masquerading as kindness.\r\nBe nice, generous, and thoughtful, but from a place of strength, not need. Lead the interaction and show her who you are. \r\nNice guys finish first… when they lead the dating dance.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nDating Coach: Why Do Women Ghost Me as Soon as We Start Talking?How Long Should You Wait Before Asking for a Second Date?Dating Coach: Should I Get Penis Enlargement Surgery?", "keywords": "Dating, Coach:, Women, Actually, Want, Good, Guys", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/dating-coach-do-women-actually-want-good-guys/askmen-lead-image-2x1-52-1761938813.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/dating-coach-do-women-actually-want-good-guys.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "109069", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Date Your Spouse", "title_slug": "how-to-date-your-spouse", "title_hash": "8b8ae23bd869c90d96e05da9217513d6", "summary": "Marriage doesn’t mean the butterflies are gone. Discover 8 sweet, flirty ways to date your spouse and fall in love all over again.\nThe post How to Date Your Spouse appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Marriage doesn’t mean the butterflies are gone. Discover 8 sweet, flirty ways to date your spouse and fall in love all over again.

The post How to Date Your Spouse appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "How, Date, Your, Spouse", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Screenshot-2025-11-01-at-10.38.39-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/how-to-date-your-spouse-2/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:22:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108889", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Sent My Boyfriend Intimate Photos And He Showed Them To His Girlfriend", "title_slug": "i-sent-my-boyfriend-intimate-photos-and-he-showed-them-to-his-girlfriend", "title_hash": "1e90b154f3c866c905d957b693867bc3", "summary": "I came to the UK to work and left my boyfriend in Ghana. We had dated for over a year before the opportunity to travel came. He invested heavily in …", "content": "

I came to the UK to work and left my boyfriend in Ghana. We had dated for over a year before the opportunity to travel came. He invested heavily in my journey. When he didn’t have the money, he helped me secure a loan with an agreement that I would pay it back once I started working in the UK.

He did all that because he saw a future for us. I did too, though sometimes I doubted it would work because of the distance. He told me, “I will be here waiting for you. When the time is right, you can arrange for me to join you.”

So, our plan was to be together in a few years, once I had settled. When I arrived, I called him. I had no friends here, so whenever I faced a challenge, he was the one I turned to. He encouraged me when I needed it and reminded me why I was here, urging me to work harder.

It became our routine to video call every night before bed. That was when all the intimate moments happened. I loved him so much that I did everything to make him happy and feel loved. He would ask me to take photos—the intimate kind—and send them to him. I didn’t think twice. I took them and sent them, and I could tell they made his day by the mood they put him in.

As soon as I started working, I began paying off the loan he had taken for me. Once that was done, I started repaying the money he himself had invested. After that, I sent him money every month. I was sending him money even before my parents had received a penny from me. My siblings would call, and I would tell them life was difficult here and that they should give me time to find my feet. Two years later, I was still telling them the same story while sending money to my boyfriend to buy land in our names.

Then one evening, I received a call from a Ghanaian number. When I answered, I heard my boyfriend’s voice. He said, “Gifty, are you not my friend?” He laughed, making it sound like a joke. I laughed too and asked who was questioning our relationship. He mentioned a name I didn’t catch clearly and said that person had been harassing him about it. I jokingly replied, “If he doesn’t believe you, that’s his problem.”

Later, we discussed it in detail, and he explained it was a friend he didn’t want knowing about our business. I had no reason not to trust him, so I let it go and allowed our love to continue. A few months later, the same number called me twice at dawn while I was asleep. When I woke up, I saved the number and looked it up on WhatsApp. The profile picture was of a woman. I didn’t think much of it, as a guy could easily have a female profile picture.

A few weeks later, the same number called in the afternoon while I was on shift. I couldn’t answer. Later, when my shift ended, I saw a message from the number: “My name is Oforiwaa, and I’m dating Nathan. I want to know what your relationship with him is.”

I took a screenshot and sent it to my boyfriend. He called immediately and told me not to respond. “In fact, block her number and don’t talk to her no matter what. She’s going crazy. She’ll see what I do to her. Is love by force?”

According to him, his parents had been pressuring him to marry or at least get a girlfriend because he wasn’t getting any younger, and the lady texting me was the one they were pushing on him. “You see why I’ve been telling you to do the paperwork quickly so I can leave this country?” he said. “I need to leave so they stop bothering me.”

The story didn’t add up because he had called me from that same number to ask about our relationship. I didn’t block the number, though I told him I had. I was waiting to see what would happen next. One day, I checked the number again, and the profile picture had changed. This time, it was a photo of a woman hugging a man and that man was Nathan.

My heart raced, but a voice in my head said, “Don’t be quick to act. Patience is a virtue you need right now.”

I took a screenshot and let it go. A few days later, I checked again and saw she had posted a status update featuring Nathan with the caption, “Someone’s son says he’s fairer than me. Is it true?” I almost replied that it was true, but instead, I took another screenshot. I knew the rabbit hole went deeper, and I had to wait to see where it led.

Finally, the number called again one night after I had finished my shift. There was anger in her voice. She said, “Stop sending naked photos to my boyfriend. It’s disgusting. Do you think that will make him love you? Is love by force? Aren’t there men in the UK where you are?”

I listened quietly as she ranted, and then I asked, “How did you know I was sending him naked photos, and who are you to warn me to stay away from him?”

She told me how long they had been dating and how their marriage plans had stalled because of me. I asked, “Because of me? What did I do?”

According to her, Nathan had told her his family was pressuring him to marry me instead because I was abroad and sent money to his parents. Because of me, his parents didn’t want to see her face or hear her name, but Nathan had promised her his undying love and told her she was the one he truly wanted, not me. I recorded the entire conversation. I told her to stop calling me and to deal with Nathan instead, as I hadn’t known she existed. She repeated, “Stop sending him those photos and videos. Don’t you have any dignity as a woman? Or do you think showing him your vagina will make him marry you?”

That was the most hurtful part for me knowing that something I had sent in private had been seen by someone else, and not just anyone, but a rival. I felt humiliated, but after everything, I simply sent the recording to Nathan with the message, “Marry her. She loves you that much.”

When he called, he ranted and repeated the same lies he had been feeding Oforiwaa, that she was his parents’ idea, not his. I said, “Maybe you think I was born yesterday, but you should know by now who I am and the kind of lies you can’t tell me. After this, don’t call me again.”

He sent a long voice note reminding me of the sacrifices he had made for me; the loans he took for my travel. He listed all the good he had done for me but didn’t mention what I had done for him, including the land I bought in our names. I blocked his number. He contacted me through social media, and I blocked him there too.

A little less than a year later, I returned to Ghana for the first time, and guess what? He took my advice. He married Oforiwaa. He heard I was in town and came looking for me. I said, “You look like a married man. All cleaned up and put together. She’s doing a good job on you.” He replied, “You made me do this when you knew you were the one I truly wanted.”

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

I raised my hand and asked him to stop. I asked, “Where is the land I sent money for?” He answered, “It’s still there, in our names. It’s the only thing I have left of you.” I replied, “Keep it. It’s all yours now. I don’t know why I even asked.” He said, “At least, can I have a hug?”

I laughed and walked away. Men. Interesting people.

—Gifty

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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My wife and I began our marital journey with dreams of starting a family. Having children is something we both want badly. Right from the beginning, we planned our lives around the children we would have. It’s been three years in the marriage and we are yet to hear the cry of a baby in our home. The journey hasn’t been easy.

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We’ve been praying and hoping for a miracle but so far the medical tests we ran have been nothing short of disappointing. No, it’s not my wife’s health that is affecting us. It’s me. I’m struggling with male infertility.

When I first went to the hospital, I was diagnosed with oligospermia (low sperm count), measuring around 10 million/mL. I did some treatments, a mix of herbal medicine and conventional drugs prescribed by my doctor. It helped at first. I remember the joy we felt when my count rose briefly to 16 million/mL. We were filled with hope that things were turning around.

To boost my chances further, I added supplements like Proxeed Plus and Denk Fertilo Forte to my routine. I even tried some local herbal remedies, hoping for a breakthrough. Unfortunately, I didn’t see any progress. In fact, my count dropped to 13 million/mL.

I thought that was the worst but I was so wrong. At my most recent test, I was told my count is now zero. It’s a condition called azoospermia. I am losing hope.

I’ve done all the scans and tests — STS (Soft Tissue Sonography/Scrotal Scan), Urinalysis, and Kidney scan. Everything came back normal. No blockages, no varicocele, and my testicles are healthy. Which means the cause of my infertility isn’t structural, and that makes finding a solution even more challenging.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

My doctor has suggested IVF or IUI, with donor sperm, since my current count is zero. I feel heartbroken that this is where I’m at now. I don’t know if I am ready to take that step yet because it makes me feel I am giving up on myself.

That’s why I’m reaching out. Has anyone here been through something similar? I want to know if you have any advice, success stories, or recommendations to share with me. Trust me, reading what others have gone through will do a lot for my mental health right now.

—Godwin

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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There’s a season in life where everything feels painfully still. Your career isn’t moving. Your finances are stuck. Your purpose feels lost. You watch your friends hit milestones, celebrate wins, and move forward while you’re sitting there asking God, “Why me? When will my time come?”

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It was in that season I met Kofi.

Well, technically, I’d known him as a “hi, hello” friend from church. But that difficult season brought us closer. I was healing from a seven-year relationship that had left me broken and questioning everything about love. Kofi and I started talking more, and eventually, he told me he wanted to be with me.

I turned him down. I needed space to heal, to breathe, to figure my life out without jumping into another relationship.

But he didn’t give up on me.

Kofi did everything possible to help me heal. He was patient. He was kind. He was present. I asked him to give me time to pray about us, and I did. God showed me signs that felt clear. So after months of getting to know each other better, of learning to trust again, I said yes.

Kofi was God-sent, or so I thought. He helped me get back on my feet. He motivated me to chase success again. He supported me in every way. He helped me find a job. He made sure nothing robbed me of joy. For the first time in years, I felt like I had a true partner. Our first year together was pure happiness.

Because I was so grateful to have him in my life, I gave what I could. I didn’t earn much, but I did the little things. I cooked for him. I cleaned. I washed his clothes. On days I couldn’t cook, I’d buy foodstuff and ask my mum to prepare meals for him. He met my family, and I met his. Everything felt perfect, like God had finally answered my prayers.

We planned our lives together down to 2028. We talked about our children’s names. We discussed where we’d live. We even started marriage preparations toward the end of our first year. I’d secretly taken the marriage list from my sister, and we’d already bought almost 80% of the items. We were that serious. That committed. That ready.

One weekend, Kofi had to attend a wedding in his hometown. I told him I’d leave shortly after he did, but I stayed back because I wanted to surprise him after his long journey. I hid in the bedroom with the lights off, waiting to see the look on his face when he realised I was there.

He arrived around midnight.

But he didn’t arrive alone.

I shouted “Babyyyyyy!” excited to surprise him. Instead, I was met with a frightened look on his face. He quickly asked me for money to pay the taxi driver, trying to rush me back inside. But I heard a woman’s voice in the kitchen. A woman’s voice.

When I asked who it was, he said, “Oh, it’s the taxi driver I came with.” But I knew what I heard. That was not a man’s voice. When he stepped out to “pay the taxi,” I followed quietly. And I met the shock of my life.

He brought in another woman. He lied to my face that she was stranded at the bus station and needed help for the night. I’d planned a surprise for the man I loved, but I was the one who got surprised.

I forgave him that night because I wanted to believe his story. But everything changed after that. I couldn’t unsee what I saw. I couldn’t unhear that voice.

I started paying attention. I started noticing things. Eventually, I discovered the truth. He’d been dating both of us for over a year. A whole year. I almost died when I found out. He played his game so well that I never suspected a single thing.

Kofi, I know you’ll read this. We’ve always shared stories from Silent Beads together. You know I read every post. You know I comment. You know this blog is part of our life. You didn’t have to pay me back this way. I loved you with everything in me. We had our whole lives planned out. You could’ve just told me the truth when I asked if you were seeing someone else. You could’ve been honest with me.

You know how much I gave up to make this work. You know how much I sacrificed. After everything we’ve been through together, even to the point where I almost lost my life for you, this is how you choose to leave me? With lies and a secret child?

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

The most painful part? I met her. The other woman. She told me everything. She showed me proof. And you still looked me in the eye and lied. She’s pregnant with your child, and you denied it to my face.

You were coming to perform the knocking rites next month. The official marriage process was about to start. Was this the marriage you wanted? That we’d be living in peace as husband and wife, only for someone to show up at our door with your child one day?

We used to read stories like this together on Silent Beads and shake our heads. We used to condemn baby mama drama. We judged people in these situations. And now, I’m one of them.

I’m broken, Kofi. I’m disappointed. I’m hurt in ways I didn’t know were possible. But if I prayed about you and this relationship, and this is how God chose to reveal the truth to me before I made the biggest mistake of my life, then I leave you to Him. I don’t regret loving you. I don’t regret anything I did for you. God knows I did it all from a genuine heart. I cooked because I wanted to. I cleaned because I cared. I supported you because I believed in us.

Don’t worry about my parents. I’ll tell them everything myself. And you can keep all the items we bought for the marriage. Consider them a gift for you, your child and baby mama. I wish you and your baby mama well. I really do. I hope you build the family you clearly wanted more than the one we planned together. I thought Kofi was my blessing. But maybe my real blessing was finding out the truth before I married him. Before I had children with him. Before I was legally bound to a man living a double life.

I’m healing now. Slowly. Painfully. But I’m healing. And I know God has something better for me. Something real. Something honest. Something worth the wait.

—Patience

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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I’ve been dating this guy from Malawi for four years. From the beginning, he treated me very well. He gave me money, cared for me, and never pressured me for intimacy. But our relationship has always been rocky. We would separate for a while, then get back together again.

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This past year, though, we’ve been together consistently, and I’ve been trying so hard to fix things between us. The only things getting in my way are two big problems.

The first is a girl who slept with him on Valentine’s Day. It was just a one-night stand, but she tried to claim him as her boyfriend after their encounter. It didn’t work though. Everyone in my community knows that he’s with me. He even told me himself that he would never leave me.

The second problem is another girl who got involved with him because of money. He said he met her when he was drunk and she was stranded. Out of kindness, he offered her money to go home. Since then, she has been acting like she’s his girlfriend. Sometimes, he actually sleeps with her to get her off his back.

She takes advantage of him. Whenever she asks for money and he refuses to give her she would threaten him. “If you don’t give it to me I will call my brothers to beat you up.” Because he’s soft and not from this country, he’s scared of her and her family. That’s why he can’t completely stay away from her.

These were things he told me himself. I believed him and even felt bad for him. However, last Sunday something happened that changed the way I saw him.

He slept at my house the previous night and left early that morning for work. Before leaving, he promised to buy me whatever I wanted since he had just been paid on Saturday. After work, he came to see me and gave me some money. Then his brother invited him out.

When they left, I called him. He didn’t end the call when we finished talking — probably because he was drunk and forgot. Through the call, I could hear him flirting with another girl who lives on my street. Later, the second lady joined him. I heard him denying that he had been flirting with someone else. He tried to convince her he was only “chilling.” Then I heard him talking about giving her money to do her hair.

After that, he went to another place and started flirting with yet another girl, but that girl rejected him. I hung up out of embarrassment when he kept trying to talk to her.

When he finally called to tell me he was home, I confronted him about everything I’d heard. He went quiet, then asked, “Are we done?” I said yes, and that our relationship was over. Then I blocked him.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

The next day he kept trying to call, but since I had blocked him, he couldn’t reach me. I eventually unblocked him, and he called again to ask if we were really done. I told him yes, because I had even recorded everything he said and did that Sunday night. He said, “It didn’t mean anything. I was drunk.”

The other day he called me acting as if nothing has happened. I dropped the call, but he came to my house with his friends. I chased all of them away.

Now, I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m deeply in love with him, but I also know he might not be able to leave that other lady. Maybe because he loves her too, or maybe it’s because he’s scared of her.

—Kira

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

I went to see her one Saturday afternoon after I’d ghosted her for two weeks. I told her I was out of town, but she knew I was lying. When she finally saw me that afternoon, she asked, “Are you trying to leave me?” I answered, “What kind of question is that?” She said, “I knew you were in town. I followed your trail and realized you hadn’t gone anywhere, but you kept telling me you were out. Are you tired of me?”

I wasn’t going to fall for her trick and confess, so I insisted I was out of town. She hugged me and didn’t want to let go. Soon, she brought food from the kitchen and served me. I told her I’d already eaten. She asked, “You came to my house and you’d already eaten? So who should eat this food?”

I was scared she might have put something in the food. She insisted I eat it, even if it was just a spoonful. “Don’t make me feel like I labored in the kitchen for nothing. I made it for you.”

I still didn’t want to eat, so she took the spoon, scooped some rice, and brought it to my lips. I said, “You eat this one, and I’ll eat the next spoonful.” She quickly put it in her mouth and started chewing. She brought the next one, and I took it. She said, “Wait… were you thinking I was going to poison you? Nooo, I love you too much to do that to you.”

I wasn’t even thinking about poison. I was scared she might have used a love potion to glue me to her. After eating, we talked. I told her if we could go back to how things used to be when we started, everything would be alright. “I see you love me, and I do too, but please consider my situation and respect what I have going on in my house. We’ll be fine.”

She was quiet. I urged her to say something. She told me, “You’ve worried me so much. How did you come into my life and make me love you this way? It’s not fair that I can’t have you all to myself, but I don’t blame you.”

We had a very passionate conversation that day, had a very good time together, and before I left, I asked for permission to go. She held my hand, led me to the door, and said goodbye. I knew I’d won. I’d been able to tame her, so things were going to be easy.

My wife was very close to labor, so I didn’t go far from her. Right after work, I rushed home. Humu and I had made a lot of plans, but I couldn’t fulfill them because I had to be home. One evening, she texted, “I’m at your door. Come out and let’s talk, or I’ll come inside.”

My heart started beating faster. I stepped out, looked over the wall, but didn’t see her. I asked, “Where are you standing?” She raised her hand and waved. She was indeed there. I rushed out of the gate and spoke softly, trying to calm her down. She was getting loud while I spoke gently: “Why won’t you pick up my calls? What did I do wrong?”

I had to promise I would see her on Saturday and even gave her my second phone as assurance before she left. I was angry with myself, but through it all, I didn’t blame her much. I had brought her into my life thinking she would give me peace.

One evening, while I was with her, I wondered why my wife hadn’t called. I checked my phone and saw seven missed calls from her. Her last call was about an hour ago. “Why didn’t I hear the phone ringing?” I asked myself. I checked, and my phone was on silent. I looked at Humu. She smiled. She had seen the call first and pressed the silent button.

I called back, but my wife didn’t pick up. I kept calling while heading home. On the way, my wife’s mother answered the phone. She said, “Your wife is here at the hospital. She’s in the delivery room.” By the time I got there, the baby was out, and she was sleeping. I stayed until she woke up. As soon as she saw my face, she turned away.

For over an hour, she did her best to avoid me. She would hear my voice and still pretend she didn’t. I said sorry. I said I was caught in traffic and my phone wasn’t close to me. I said my boss had kept me late because we had to meet a deadline. She knew I was lying, but what more could she say? To this day, she hasn’t forgiven me for not being there when she went into labor.

Right there at the hospital, I swore it was over between Humu and me. If I was going to be a father, I should have the courage to stand against anything that affected my family. The fact that she had put my phone on silent so I wouldn’t hear my wife’s call made my anger worse.

I saw her call and didn’t answer. She kept texting and asking, “Was your wife alright? I’m sorry about the phone thing. I forgot she was pregnant.”

I still didn’t give her any answer.

Maybe she was excessively worried that something might have happened and I was angry about it. I was also excessively worried that she would come to my place and put on a silly show, so while I was playing hard to get, I was also watching for any signs of desperation in her actions. She stopped calling for a week and then started again.

I texted, “You got what you wanted. Please leave me alone.”
\n“What happened?”
\n“Please talk to me. Did anything bad happen to your wife?”
\n“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Just talk.”

Whatever I was doing was working, so I kept at it until she texted, “I’m always here. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know what I should do to make it right.”

A month later, she texted again, “Is that it? Would you treat me this way even if I killed your wife?”

I texted back, “You didn’t only kill her. You killed me too. Now she knows about us. Because of you, I can’t see my newborn child. I hope you’re happy now.”

She sent a long voice note pleading and swearing that she didn’t mean any harm, that she was ashamed of everything she did, and that it wouldn’t happen again, even in her next life.

I didn’t respond again until she stopped calling.

I knew I could lie. I was an actor in church when I was a boy, but I never knew I could invent such lies and put on a show like this just to pull away from something I shouldn’t have started in the first place. She left with regrets. She still thinks she hurt my wife in some way or damaged my marriage beyond repair. In the end, I was just grateful that she got off my back so I could concentrate on being a father and a husband.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

She was a witch, but sometimes I miss her. But because no one goes back to where they were nearly slaughtered, I’ve learned to stay in my lane and let sleeping dogs lie. Charle, it’s not worth it, but you can’t advise a cheating man until he meets his Humu.

—Divine

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Girlfriend, Wants, Take, Wife’s, Place, Part", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/14075.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-girlfriend-wants-to-take-my-wifes-place-part-2/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:14:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108620", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Abortion Bans Can Hinder Life-Saving Care for Pregnant Patients with Lung Disease or Medical Crises—Study", "title_slug": "abortion-bans-can-hinder-life-saving-care-for-pregnant-patients-with-lung-disease-or-medical-crisesstudy", "title_hash": "65350516530bc296cc7b5dd825308d7c", "summary": "Pulmonologists, critical care doctors, even rheumatologists are struggling to adequately treat pregnant patients in states that restrict reproductive rights, new research reveals.\nThe post Abortion Bans Can Hinder Life-Saving Care for Pregnant Patients with Lung Disease or Medical Crises—Study appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The abortion restrictions imposed after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022 aren’t just disrupting obstetric and gynecological care and making OB-GYNs avoid or leave states with bans. They are also forcing doctors in other medical fields—including pulmonary and critical care—to change how they provide care, often to the detriment of pregnant patients, a recent study found.

The peer-reviewed research documents how abortion bans are delaying or restricting care that pregnant people need, as well as complicating treatment for a range of health conditions, even when they have nothing to do with pregnancy.

Published in August 2025 in the journal CHEST—a publication of the professional society of pulmonary, critical care, and sleep medicine providers—the paper marks one of the first attempts to log the impacts of abortion bans on doctors beyond OB-GYNs.

Some ‘patients didn’t make it’

The researchers interviewed 29 pulmonary and critical care physicians in 15 states with abortion bans and in neighboring states. Pulmonary and critical care providers staff intensive care units (ICUs), where pregnant and postpartum patients with hemorrhage or severe infection often end up.

Outside of the ICU, pulmonologists treat pregnant patients for chronic lung conditions that affect pregnancy, such as pulmonary hypertension, a condition in which blood pressure is high in the arteries that supply blood to the lungs.

The doctors surveyed said they had to wait to treat patients until death was imminent to avoid violating abortion-restricting laws. The bans also restricted their ability to prescribe certain drugs used to manage lung conditions because they could cause birth defects or pregnancy loss, they said.

One pulmonary and critical care doctor surveyed said that a patient with an ectopic pregnancy spent 12 hours in the emergency room and developed “hemorrhagic shock” before getting surgery. The provider, who said the patient was ultimately okay, told the researchers that the delay “was almost certainly a result of the legislation and the uncertainty around what is an imminent threat in the life of the mother.”

Such crises have caused many of the doctors surveyed to feel moral distress and burnout.

Abortion bans have also caused problems for people receiving care for certain lung conditions. Pregnancy is life-threatening for patients with pulmonary hypertension, said Katrina Hauschildt, the lead author of the study and an assistant professor in the division of pulmonary, allergy, and critical care medicine at Oregon Health & Science University.

“Doctors know, as soon as a patient who has pulmonary hypertension becomes pregnant, that this is going to be a threat to her life,” Hauschildt said. “But when you’re six weeks pregnant, it may not actually be life-threatening. It’s going to be life-threatening when you are in your third trimester.”

Hauschildt said patients with pulmonary hypertension are cautioned against getting pregnant. But sometimes they do. Typically, their doctor would advise them that abortion is an option they should consider.

Some of the physicians Hauschildt interviewed, however, said they weren’t sure what they could say to patients now.

“I did have physicians who told me that they felt like they weren’t really allowed to advise patients to get a termination,” she said. “And some of those patients didn’t make it through their pregnancies.”

Doctors have reported problems with pharmacies filling prescriptions for drugs like methotrexate that can cause miscarriage—even when prescribing medication to male patients, Hauschildt said. (Clinically speaking, miscarriage care is often identical to abortion care.)

If people who take these drugs to manage their lung conditions become pregnant, they often have to decide whether to terminate the pregnancy or stop taking the medication. But sometimes this means switching to a less effective drug, which can lead to permanent harm to their health, Hauschildt said.

Disparate impacts

Experts have previously established that abortion bans widen existing health-care disparities, and disproportionately affect communities of color and low-income people. Sixty percent of Black women and 59 percent of Indigenous women ages 18-49 live in states with abortion bans or restrictions. For women of other racial and ethnic groups, these percentages are lower.

Likewise, women of color have higher rates of certain lung conditions that doctors pointed to in this study. Pulmonary hypertension is more common in Black and Hispanic people; sarcoidosis is especially common in Black women.

States with abortion bans also have higher rates of both maternal and infant mortality. And Black mothers who live in states with abortion bans are more than three times as likely as white mothers in those same states to die during pregnancy, while giving birth, or soon after birth, according to an analysis of 2019-2023 data by the Gender Equity Policy Institute.

Why care could worsen

It’s well established that state abortion bans have impacted OB-GYN care. Doctors, including emergency department physicians, have reported having to delay or deny care to patients facing life-threatening ectopic pregnancy, dangerous miscarriage complications, and severe infection. Pregnant people have died as a result.

Thirty-five percent of Idaho’s OB-GYNs stopped practicing or left the state between August 2022 and December 2024, after Roe was overturned.

The effect of abortion bans is “more than just the maternal piece,” Dr. Yolanda Lawson, an OB-GYN in Texas, told Rewire News Group. “There is a downstream impact broadly on women’s health.”

Hauschildt’s research on pulmonary and critical care doctors is part of a growing body of evidence supporting Lawson’s concern.

Rheumatologists, who treat autoimmune diseases, feared prescribing certain medications because of abortion bans, according to a forthcoming chapter of the textbook Interdisciplinary Rheumatology: Reproductive Health Issues in Rheumatology written by a University of Pittsburgh School of Law professor.

And a September 2025 brief from nonprofit health advocacy group Physicians for Human Rights found that neurologists, oncologists, and other medical specialties where common treatments for disease are pregnancy-ending or birth-defect-inducing medications reported changing the way they prescribed drugs in the wake of state-level abortion bans.

These impacts are causing some future doctors to avoid training in states that ban abortion.

Surveys of medical students, residents, and practicing physicians in various specialties have shown that abortion bans are influencing where providers want to practice.

The number of residency applicants in states with abortion bans decreased by 4.2 percent in the 2023-2024 cycle from the previous cycle, following a decrease the previous year, according to the Association of American Medical Colleges. In states where abortion was legal, the decrease was 0.6 percent.

In Tennessee, where OB-GYN Dr. Laura Andreson practices, the number of applicants for OB-GYN residency spots in 2024 decreased 20.9 percent from the previous year, and for other specialties, it decreased 12.7 percent. Andreson said that, from her perspective, “The reason we see the decrease in other specialties is that people are afraid to be pregnant here. They’re afraid to have their spouse be pregnant here.”

Why the consequences may be too sweeping to quantify

We’re only starting to see the broader impacts of these bans, Hauschildt said.

“Rheumatologists have talked about how this affects their patients. Immunologists have talked about how this affects their patients,” Hauschildt said. Only as people start to “enumerate all of the ways that doctors are saying, ‘Oh, this is actually affecting my patient, too,’ do we realize that we’re never going to be able to actually quantify this.”

Hauschildt added, “The number of women whose health has been damaged, whose fertility has been damaged, whose lives have been lost because of these bans—we actually probably can’t fully enumerate.”

The post Abortion Bans Can Hinder Life-Saving Care for Pregnant Patients with Lung Disease or Medical Crises—Study appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Abortion, Bans, Can, Hinder, Life-Saving, Care, for, Pregnant, Patients, with, Lung, Disease, Medical, Crises—Study", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Bans-Are-Impeding-Medical-Care-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/31/abortion-bans-delay-restrict-critical-care-study/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-11-03 11:04:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108619", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Cities Could Dramatically Cut Childhood Poverty With New Tax Credits, Research Finds", "title_slug": "cities-could-dramatically-cut-childhood-poverty-with-new-tax-credits-research-finds", "title_hash": "c0af7ca6608fc5a4c65adf62d8f56f32", "summary": "A new report says cities could make a big difference with a relatively small investment.\nThe post Cities Could Dramatically Cut Childhood Poverty With New Tax Credits, Research Finds appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Child tax credits are becoming more popular across the country, with more than a dozen states offering them as financial relief toward the cost of raising kids.

But new research suggests cities could significantly reduce child poverty by offering child tax credit programs of their own.

An analysis by the Center on Poverty and Social Policy at Columbia University and the left-leaning Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy found that municipal programs could move the needle with relatively small amounts of money: offering $1,000 or less per year to low- and middle-income families could cut child poverty rates by 25 percent in several cities.

Researchers say this sort of new assistance would not only boost household finances, but also likely create more demand for local businesses, stabilize housing markets, and increase local tax revenue.

The study focused on 14 cities: Baltimore; Charlotte, North Carolina; Chicago; Denver; Houston; Jacksonville, Florida; Los Angeles; Minneapolis; New York; Oakland, California; Philadelphia; Phoenix; Seattle; and the District of Columbia. The analysis found that most of those cities could make significant gains by spending less than 15 percent of municipal revenues on new child credit programs.

In Minneapolis, for example, researchers said a new program that cost less than $30 million per year would cut the city’s poverty levels by half when accounting for existing state and federal credits. (The mayor there has recommended spending about $2.03 billion in the 2026 fiscal year budget.)

The prospect of creating new tax credit programs would likely pose financial and logistical challenges. Cities already are juggling many other priorities including public safety and housing affordability, while at the same time facing what some experts have characterized as a “fiscal crisis” from growing climate change costs, federal funding cuts, and declining downtown activity.

Some cities, including Baltimore, New York, and Philadelphia, have city income taxes that could incorporate a child tax credit. But, the research noted, cities without that tax managed to distribute pandemic recovery funds through basic income programs. That experience shows cities could create their own standalone applications, leverage IRS data-sharing agreements or work with third-party administrators.

“So you could use a similar sort of outreach approach, which wouldn’t necessarily be as comprehensive or systematic as a city that already has its own income tax system in place, but it’s a potential option,” said Ryan Vinh, an author of the study and a research analyst at the Center on Poverty and Social Policy.

State interest in creating or expanding child tax credits boomed after the pandemic-era expansion of the federal child tax credit delivered cash directly to millions. That move quickly lifted millions of children out of poverty, researchers found. But the expanded tax credit expired in 2021—leading to a doubling in the nation’s childhood poverty rate in 2022.

Advocates favor refundable tax credits that provide money directly to families. While parents must still file tax returns to receive the benefit, refundable credits give parents funds even if they earn too little to owe income tax, providing financial relief for groceries, medical care, or rent.

This year, several conservative-led states explored new child tax credit programs, though proposals offering the biggest benefits to families fizzled in Indiana and Ohio. So far, no city has implemented its own credit.

While many cities and states are facing tight budget constraints, Vinh said a reduction in federal support will likely put more pressure on local governments to tackle challenges like poverty. The federal government has slashed funding for safety net programs including Medicaid and the nation’s largest food assistance program, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.

“A lot of these things will either lead to the erosion of benefits over time, a loss of benefits, or kind of a decline in what families are able to receive,” Vinh said. “We don’t fully know the number yet, but we do know that child poverty will most likely increase as these program restrictions increase.”

Stateline reporter Kevin Hardy can be reached at khardy@stateline.org

\n\n

Stateline is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Stateline maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Scott S. Greenberger for questions: info@stateline.org.

The post Cities Could Dramatically Cut Childhood Poverty With New Tax Credits, Research Finds appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Kwadwo and I were best friends. Real best friends, the kind where you do life together and nothing romantic is ever involved. We met at church when he joined the choir, and from that moment on, we were like brother and sister. I was a year older than him, and I loved being the older sister he could lean on.

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When Kwadwo fell in love with a woman in the choir, I was happy for him. I supported him, gave him advice, helped him navigate his feelings. His girlfriend didn’t mind our friendship at all because she could see it was real and pure. I was helping her man become the best version of himself.

At their wedding, I was the akumaa ‘konofo’, I was the one making things happen everywhere. I was the one people came to when they needed something done. It felt good to celebrate my best friend on his big day.

When they started married life, I became their problem solver. And trust me, there were plenty of problems. If I hadn’t been there with prayer and good counsel, I don’t think that marriage would have lasted even one year. But Kwadwo is a godly man, and with time and help, they found their footing. Things got better.

When the babies came, I was there. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, helping however I could. I was Aunty. I was family.

Around that same time, God blessed me with my own marriage. Now we were two families, but I was still there for Kwadwo and his wife whenever they needed me.

But something changed.

During their fights, Kwadwo would tell me that his wife said he didn’t really want to marry her. She said the only reason he married her was because I was older than him. She said if I had been younger, he would have married me instead.

I didn’t understand where that came from. There was nothing romantic between us. Nothing at all. But she believed it anyway.

As the children got older and the wife didn’t need my help as much anymore, she started treating me differently. She gave me attitude. She made it difficult for me to visit their home. It was cold. It was unwelcoming. It was like I had suddenly become the enemy.

I started pulling back. I gave them space because I didn’t want to cause problems in their marriage. I asked Kwadwo if I had done something wrong, something I needed to apologize for. He said no, there was nothing.

But the distance was growing anyway.

He started withdrawing from me too. My best friend was slowly disappearing from my life, and I couldn’t stop it.

They had a big celebration not long ago. A milestone in their marriage, something important. I wasn’t invited. When I found out, it hurt. It really hurt. But that’s when I understood: I had lost my best friend for good.

His wife had won. Or maybe she didn’t win anything. Maybe she just decided I was a threat, and Kwadwo chose his marriage. I get it. When you’re married, your spouse comes first. I understand that now.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

They have new friends now. They’re enjoying their new season of life. And I need to do the same. I need to move on. I need to heal from losing someone who was so important to me. It’s not easy. Some days I still think about him and feel that loss. But I’m learning that sometimes people leave our lives not because they want to, but because someone else decides they should. And sometimes we have to accept that and move forward.

Kwadwo will always be a part of my story. He was my best friend, my brother, the person I was proud to stand beside. But this is his new chapter, and I’m not in it anymore.

I’m starting to write my own story now. One where I heal. One where I make peace with what happened. One where I understand that sometimes you love people and you lose them anyway, and that’s just how life goes.

—Pearl

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", "keywords": ", Lost, Best, Friend, Because, His, Wife, Saw, Threat", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/2148890643.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-lost-my-best-friend-because-his-wife-saw-me-as-a-threat/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 05:20:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108166", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Signs a Woman Is Emotionally Dependent on Intimacy and Can’t Live Without It", "title_slug": "11-signs-a-woman-is-emotionally-dependent-on-intimacy-and-cant-live-without-it", "title_hash": "c78d73beae84988dfd7e369ad8d5b007", "summary": "It’s strange how something meant to be beautiful can start to feel like survival. Sometimes it’s not about…", "content": "It’s strange how something meant to be beautiful can start to feel like survival. Sometimes it’s not about…", "keywords": ", Signs, Woman, Emotionally, Dependent, Intimacy, and, Can’t, Live, Without", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/addicted.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/woman-is-emotionally-dependent-on-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:45:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108165", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Run a Faster 10K", "title_slug": "how-to-run-a-faster-10k", "title_hash": "64c30f63816f45459cf5b94e61cb01f4", "summary": "Want to Shave Minutes Off Your Best Time? Read This", "content": "Once you’re regularly running distances of 10 kilometers or more, congratulations: you have officially left the “amateur” category, surpassing the vast majority of casual runners. But if you’re not satisfied with that, if you still want to test yourself and see how much faster or farther you can run, there’s still work to be done. \r\nRELATED: How to Run a Faster 5K\r\nThankfully, human beings have been running for a very long time, resulting in lots of data-backed training approaches that can help you run a swifter race. Here are four simple approaches to dropping your 10K time.\r\n\r\nHow to Run a Faster 10K\r\n\r\nTo be sure, there are many different approaches to improving your race times, but if you’re relatively new to running or just want some guidance, here are four easy-to-follow tips for shaving minutes off your 10K time.\r\nIncrease Your Run Distance at Least Once Per Week\r\nThe easiest way to make a 10K less challenging on your heart, lungs and legs is to start running 15K on a semi-regular basis. Just as weight lifters manipulate reps, weight and tempo to gradually improve their strength, runners have a handful of training variables they can tweak to build up their stamina or improve their speed. \r\nIf you’re regularly running 10Ks, there’s already a good chance that your run frequency is maxed out, so it’s time to manipulate the distance variable. Take your normal distance and, for one run a week, multiply it by 1.5. That added distance will force adaptations that will translate to better times when you go back to racing at shorter distances, in much the same way that training with a weighted vest will make training without a weighted vest feel easy.\r\nTrain at Your Threshold Pace More Often\r\nProfessional runners speak of a concept called “threshold pace,” which officially refers to your lactate threshold, the point at which the concentration of lactate acid in your blood begins to rise dramatically, indicating a high-intensity effort, but is more colloquially used to refer to your best running pace for a 60-minute run. \r\nSkip the blood tests and measure your own 60-minute best (or take a race time, if you already have one), and use this pace as a new training benchmark. (For reference, you should be able to speak at this speed but not hold a conversation comfortably.) Next, spend roughly 20% of your running time in any given week at this threshold pace.\r\nAs you become more and more comfortable at this new pace, your body will adapt to the new demands you’re placing on it, making it easier to sustain this pace for longer and longer. \r\nRamp Up Your Recovery Protocols\r\nRunning is physically taxing on the body, so it stands to reason that the more you run, the greater the toll on your bones, muscles, joints and cardiovascular system. Once you’re regularly running for ten or more kilometers in a single session, you’re imposing some serious stress on your body, and that requires enhanced recovery techniques.\r\nWhat, exactly, you choose to do can be highly personal, but should probably include stretching, foam rolling, time spent in a sauna and/or cold plunge, and even booking a semi-regular professional massage.\r\nAnd for similar reasons, you should be taking the warm-up and cooldown periods pre- and post-run more seriously as well. If you’re accustomed to rolling out of bed in the morning, slipping on your running shoes and heading out the door at speed, it’s time to re-think your approach. \r\nIncorporate Cross Training\r\nFor some reason, casual and beginner runners seem to hate hearing this, but it’s extremely important so we’re going to say it anyway: the path to becoming a better runner goes through a weight room. \r\nNo, you don’t need to become a bodybuilder or bench your bodyweight, but neither can you afford to neglect the importance of strengthening your muscles, joints and tendons, and compound movements like the barbell squat and deadlift, not to mention lunges and Olympic lifts, do a fantastic job at preparing your body for the challenges of fast-paced running.\r\nSpeed is a function of power, and the more power you can generate with your muscles, the more speed you’ll be able to generate, which is exactly why Olympic-level sprinters have the physiques of Greek gods. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Running ShoesHow to Teach Yourself Not to Hate RunningWhat Proper Running Form Looks Like", "keywords": "How, Run, Faster, 10K", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-run-a-faster-10k/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1761752033.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-run-a-faster-10k.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:45:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108164", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Cuffing Season: When Is It and What Is It?", "title_slug": "cuffing-season-when-is-it-and-what-is-it", "title_hash": "2d0b29ec4683a9239d53368846fc2022", "summary": "If the fall chill in the air makes you wish you had a hand to hold, you’re not alone. Colder weather marks the start of a dating trend known as cuffing season. \r\nThe phrase was popularized in the early to mid-2010s, and while it’s used less these days, the trend of daters shifting toward more serious relationships during fall and winter remains a relevant cultural factor, in part because the factors that made cuffing season a recognizable concept back in the day haven’t exactly abated. \r\nRELATED: New Relationship Don'ts to Avoid \r\nFeeling the fall urge to commit to a relationship this season is perfectly normal. But there are some things you should consider before getting into a relationship during cuffing season. \r\nHere's everything you need to know about cuffing season, from what it is and why it happens to important considerations to take if you’re thinking about shifting to a more serious relationship this season.\r\n\r\nWhat Is Cuffing Season?\r\n\r\nCuffing season is a cultural phenomeno", "content": "If the fall chill in the air makes you wish you had a hand to hold, you’re not alone. Colder weather marks the start of a dating trend known as cuffing season. \r\nThe phrase was popularized in the early to mid-2010s, and while it’s used less these days, the trend of daters shifting toward more serious relationships during fall and winter remains a relevant cultural factor, in part because the factors that made cuffing season a recognizable concept back in the day haven’t exactly abated. \r\nRELATED: New Relationship Don'ts to Avoid \r\nFeeling the fall urge to commit to a relationship this season is perfectly normal. But there are some things you should consider before getting into a relationship during cuffing season. \r\nHere's everything you need to know about cuffing season, from what it is and why it happens to important considerations to take if you’re thinking about shifting to a more serious relationship this season.\r\n\r\nWhat Is Cuffing Season?\r\n\r\nCuffing season is a cultural phenomenon where daters look for more exclusive relationships during the fall and winter seasons, roughly between October and March. \r\nWhat causes folks to want to couple up during these particular months? \r\n“A contributing factor to such a phenomenon is the socially driven behavior shaped by shorter days and holiday gatherings,” explains Monica Lynne, LMHC, AASECT-certified sex and relationship therapist and a resident relationship expert at dating app Flirtini. “During this period, many people prioritize pairing up over casual dating, which creates a sense of warmth, safety and emotional connection.”\r\nIn fact, given that it’s normal for many mammals to hibernate during the colder months and have their true mating season in the spring, you could argue that cuffing season is a human example of similar tendencies to be less active in the winter and more frisky as it gets warm again. \r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Cuffing Season\r\n\r\nHaving someone to stay with during the cold winter months in the Northern Hemisphere is one of the main draws of cuffing season. \r\nOf course, getting yourself into a relationship just because you want to stay warm inside might seem a bit extreme. But as Layne Baker, a licensed marriage and family therapist explains, seasonal factors can sometimes be the push a more casual relationship needs to turn serious. \r\n“There's a natural draw to define relationships that are already in play around the holiday time: colder months mean cozy days spent indoors with your partner, and stacked events might be more enjoyable and/or tolerable when you’re bringing along your ‘plus one,’” she explains. \r\nBasically, a cuffing relationship also gets nosey family members off your back about dating during the holidays. And if you don’t celebrate the holidays (or don’t head home during that time of year), Baker says having a partner to fill that gap, which might otherwise feel quite lonely, can also be appealing. \r\nRELATED: The Pressure of the Holidays on Single People\r\n\r\nThe Drawbacks of Cuffing Season\r\n\r\nGetting into a relationship simply because you’re lonely, it’s cold outside, and you don’t want to spend the holidays alone is obviously not great for your personal growth and development. \r\n“Sometimes singles get together simply as a holding pattern for lonely times, which can prevent someone from engaging in a very important learning when you date yourself,” explains Jenni Skyler, an LMFT- and AASECT-certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com. “Picking someone for the sake of offsetting loneliness prevents picking a partner more intentionally for the creation of a shared life.”\r\nCuffing relationships can feel good in the moment. But if you’re cuffing up with someone you know isn’t the right person for you in the long run (and a LTR is ultimately what you're looking for), participating in cuffing season can keep you from getting there. \r\nRELATED: How Much Do People Lower Their Standards for Cuffing Season? \r\nFurthermore, if you’re engaging in a relationship just to avoid loneliness, you’re running the risk of seriously hurting the other person if they’re more serious about it than you are. \r\n\r\nDo Cuffing Season Relationships Last?\r\n\r\nThe overall success of a cuffing relationship depends on what both partners hope to gain from it. Though plenty of couples get together and stay together during cuffing season, Zachary Zane, sex and relationship expert for #LubeLife says many cuffing couples get together with the mutual understanding that this relationship is seasonal — just like the trend. \r\n“With cuffing, you’re seeking a short-term committed relationship to get you through the colder months,” says. “It’s nice to have a partner to cuddle with during cold weather, watch scary movies and take to holiday office parties. Then, come spring, you break up because you want to be single for the nice weather and enjoy summer unattached.”\r\nThat said, not all cuffing relationships follow this trend. \r\n“If two people use this period to truly get to know each other rather than just escape loneliness, such relationships can turn out to be even stronger than ‘off-season’ ones,” says Lynne.\r\n\r\nCuffing Season Considerations\r\n\r\nIf you’re considering getting yourself into a relationship during cuffing season, Baker recommends asking a few key questions:\r\nIs this someone I would pursue a relationship with during any other time of year? Do I genuinely enjoy spending time getting to know them and sharing about myself?Do I really want a relationship right now, or am I just trying to avoid being single during this time of year?\r\nIf you answered “no” to any of the above, Baker says it’s time for a gut check. \r\n“Do you feel OK about entering a relationship simply because it’s cuffing season, and does your potential partner feel the same way? Being on the same page as the person you’re dating is crucial in any time of year, but these questions include some extra considerations unique to cuffing season,” she says.\r\nIt's also important to remember that getting into a relationship isn’t the only way to feel less alone during the colder months. \r\n“Just because you don’t have romantic companionship during cuffing season doesn’t mean you have to be alone,” says Zane. “You can still watch movies with friends. You can invite friends to holiday parties or to your house for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Getting cuffed is about having connection during the cold months, but you can absolutely have connection with people you aren’t dating.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat Is Seasonal Affective Disorder? Cuffing Season Is Real and Your Family Might Be to BlameNew Survey Shows Cuffing Season May Be on the Decline", "keywords": "Cuffing, Season:, When, and, What, It", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2021/10/13-010853-cuffing_season_when_is_it_and_what_is_it.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-is-cuffing-season.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:45:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108010", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Brother Wants Me To Wash His Girlfriend’s Clothes", "title_slug": "my-brother-wants-me-to-wash-his-girlfriends-clothes", "title_hash": "82cacfe84a4598aafa6fe1250a7852e9", "summary": "I live with my elder brother in a two-bedroom apartment in Accra. I’m a midwife by profession. While I am waiting to be posted, I have gotten myself a job …", "content": "

I live with my elder brother in a two-bedroom apartment in Accra. I’m a midwife by profession. While I am waiting to be posted, I have gotten myself a job at a private facility. It’s quite a demanding job. I work 12-hour shifts. So I barely have time to get things done at home.

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Because of that, I go to the market once a month to buy enough groceries and toiletries for the household. I even go the extra mile to prepare a variety of dishes to store in the freezer. That way my brother wouldn’t resort to eating out when the food runs out and I am busy. He doesn’t know how to cook.

When it’s just the two of us, we manage what I cook for it to last for an entire month.

It’s not the same when his girlfriend comes around though. These days she is here often. I don’t have a problem when she eats the food I prepare. After all, I only contribute 30% toward household shopping.

However, she makes life challenging for me at home. She would come over and not even help sweep. She would leave her dirty clothes behind too.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

Can you believe that my brother insists that I wash her clothes? I see no reason I should be the one to wash them but he tells me, “Just do it. She comes here for my sake.” So now I wash my own clothes, my brother’s, and his girlfriend’s. I am three years older than this girl. Make this make sense.

I don’t mind have any ill feelings against her. I am even happy they found each other. Her presence in the house doesn’t bother me at all. She and I are cool. We chat when she is around. My only problem is my brother’s insistence that I wash her clothes. We have had several arguments because of it. He thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing. Is he right?

—Leila

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", "keywords": ", Brother, Wants, Wash, His, Girlfriend’s, Clothes", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_0038.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-brother-wants-me-to-wash-his-girlfriends-clothes/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:38:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108011", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Girlfriend Loves Me but My Side Chick Understands Me", "title_slug": "my-girlfriend-loves-me-but-my-side-chick-understands-me", "title_hash": "bd2954b53291ef1c51d39f73ff252dea", "summary": "I met her when I had nothing, not even a job to my name. Fresh out of school, very broke, and uncertain about my future, I found myself teaching in …", "content": "

I met her when I had nothing, not even a job to my name. Fresh out of school, very broke, and uncertain about my future, I found myself teaching in a small private school just to survive. That’s where she came into my life.

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She was kind and grounded and saw something in me I hadn’t yet seen in myself. We started dating, and for two years, she stood by me through the struggle, the late nights, and the silent prayers. When the opportunity came for me to secure a permanent government job, she didn’t just cheer me on. She supported me financially. She believed in my future more than I did.

The job took me to another state, and distance became our new reality. We stayed in touch, but something changed. At my new workplace, I met another woman. It started as casual, just conversation and a little laughter, but it grew into something more.

I was still with my girlfriend, but I was also falling into something new. I told myself I’d figure it out. I’d choose. I just didn’t know how or when.

Eventually, I went back to visit my girlfriend. She sensed something was wrong. My silence, my hesitation, and maybe the way I couldn’t look her in the eye gave me away. She found out about the affair.

And in a move that crushed me, she just left me.

I was very devastated

I returned to my workplace, shattered and confused. I told the “work girlfriend” everything. About my girlfriend, the affair, the heartbreak. She listened and advised me. She stayed with me through it all. I thought maybe this was my second chance to do things right.

But then something worse happened.

I found out my girlfriend had started seeing another man seriously. I panicked, and I rushed to see her, hoping I could win her back, hoping she would remember what we had.

We spent one last night together. We had sex, and in that moment, I felt like maybe there was still hope. Maybe we could fix this. Maybe she still loved me.

But after, she told me she was moving on. She was gone. Emotionally, she didn’t need me. Physically, she didn’t even want to breathe the same air as me. Completely, she had shut the door and locked it behind her.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

I felt like my heart had been ripped out. That night, that moment, it meant everything to me. But to her, it was closure. It was goodbye. I was too late.

So I turned my full attention to the woman at work. But she has her own “wahala”. A sugar daddy who funds her lifestyle. I didn’t care about that. I fought for her. I wanted her to choose me over him.

But now, she says I’m not serious. That I’m still stuck in the past. That I left her to chase a ghost, and she was right. I did.

She’s started giving her sugar daddy more attention now, and I feel myself slipping again. I’m losing someone I don’t want to lose. I’m caught between the woman who built me and the woman who stayed when I was broken.

And now, I might lose both.

—Kudjo

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Girlfriend, Loves, but, Side, Chick, Understands", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/170.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-girlfriend-loves-me-but-my-side-chick-understands-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:38:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108009", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Push Came To Shove, My Boyfriend Asked Me To Date His Brother", "title_slug": "when-push-came-to-shove-my-boyfriend-asked-me-to-date-his-brother", "title_hash": "252928743090206395adeb9e943c6be4", "summary": "I met Joshua and his elder brother, Ransford, at an event at a church. The two were seated together when I joined them. We had fun talking and getting to …", "content": "

I met Joshua and his elder brother, Ransford, at an event at a church. The two were seated together when I joined them. We had fun talking and getting to know each other. Joshua was the loudest. He was the one who wanted to know everything about me and asked plenty of questions while his elder brother sat and watched. When we were leaving, his elder brother asked me, “Can we talk sometime?”

I was surprised he was the one asking for my number and not Joshua. When I mentioned my number, it was Joshua who typed it into his phone while his elder brother watched. In the evening, I received a call. He said his name was Ransford. “I called to say hi.”

While we talked, I could hear Joshua in the background telling his brother to extend his greetings. The conversation didn’t last long, but it lasted long enough for me to know they wanted to be friends. A few days later, it was Joshua who called. When I asked about Ransford, he said he had traveled back to Germany. I asked, “Oh, he doesn’t live here?” He answered, “No, he lives in Germany and comes home once in a while.”

The calls didn’t stop between Joshua and me. He called, texted, and made me feel like a friend I’d always known. We went out one day, and while we were there, Ransford called on video. We talked and made jokes just like the first day we met. He said he’d missed me. I said I’d missed him too and asked when he was coming back to Ghana. He responded, “Soon. It won’t be long at all.”

While I consistently talked to and met with Joshua, Ransford also called once in a while from Germany. One day, Joshua proposed. It felt like a very natural progression of our friendship because we’d been through all the phases. I accepted his proposal, and we started dating.

Joshua is the jovial and easy-going type. He’s also a lover of fun and didn’t mind us roaming around Accra having fun until daybreak. I liked his spirit and the way he chose to show his love for me.

One day, I received money from Ransford. He called later to tell me it was just a token for me to buy anything I wanted. I loved it and thanked him profusely. Later, I told Joshua about it, and he said, “Oh, he told me he was going to send you something. I’m happy he did.”

When I asked why Ransford thought he should send me money, Joshua said, “Aren’t you guys friends too? My brother is kind like that.”

Honestly, I was unsettled by his answer and also by the reason Ransford gave for sending the money. I asked Joshua, “Does he know we are dating?” He answered, “If he doesn’t know now, he’ll soon know.”

Everything was fine between us until one day he said Ransford was coming back to Ghana. We had dated for almost a year and had fought over nothing. We spent weekends together, either at my place or his. We went on trips and made love in crazy places. Before he told me Ransford was coming, I’d already received a message from Ransford that he was on his way.

A few weeks before he arrived, Ransford called consistently, making plans with me and asking what I wanted. Whatever he told me, I told Joshua. One day Joshua said, “I think my brother likes you, looking at how he’s calling and planning with you.” I answered, “I suspected it, that’s why I told you to tell him we were dating.” He answered, “No worries. He can have you.”

I was like, “How? What are you talking about? It’s you I want, not him.”

I thought he spoke out of jealousy, so I went all out assuring him of my undying love. He said, “He’s my brother. I don’t mind if you choose him over me. I won’t even let him know we dated.”

I was furious. I felt disrespected. “You think I’ll leave you for him because he’s from abroad? What do you take me for?” He smiled, typically Joshua, making serious things feel like a joke. He said, “I share everything with him. We don’t fight over things, so I wouldn’t mind at all if this time he wants the woman I also want.”

I brushed him off and asked him to cut the jokes and be serious for once. Then Ransford texted. He asked why I was being difficult and asked if I didn’t trust him to love me the best way I wanted to be loved. I asked, “Where is this coming from, and where is it going?” He answered, “Joshua tells me everything you tell him about my proposal.”

I stopped texting and called Joshua. “What’s going on?”

So, the story was this: the very first day we met, Ransford wanted me but couldn’t say it. When he asked for my number, his phone was off, which is why Joshua typed it into his phone. And because Ransford was leaving the next day, he asked Joshua to “get” me for him. Joshua told him I was in a serious relationship leading to marriage. Because of that, Ransford backed off. The day Ransford sent me money, he did it to buy my attention because Joshua had told him I needed money.

The whole story didn’t make sense coming from Ransford. It meant Joshua had been lying to him while keeping me for himself. That was why Joshua was trying to push me toward Ransford when he said he was coming. Am I making sense?

So I asked Joshua, “Was this a game to you, or did you truly love me?” He couldn’t give me any sensible answer. But then, not to keep Ransford hoping, I told him the truth. He was hurt. So hurt he called his brother a traitor and even told me Joshua didn’t love me if he could pull that trick. I told him, “I know. That’s the sad thing.”

I pulled away from them. Ransford came to Ghana and spent over two weeks, but I didn’t see him or even answer his texts. All that while, Joshua kept ignoring me, but that was fine with me. I knew I would heal from the deceit.

Ransford has been gone for two months. No communication has existed between the three of us since. I had healed a little and was limping along when Joshua appeared. “I’m back to make things right. I’ve resolved things with my brother. He understands. Why don’t we take it from where we left off?”

He looked like a devil I should be without. But after him coming and going consistently, and after speaking with Ransford, who was urging me to take him back because he was fine with it, my heart is gradually falling for Joshua again. I feel like what put us asunder has been resolved, so we can begin again. But my mind tells me, “Don’t forget the lies so soon. A seed of lies can’t grow the truth in the future.”

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

So it’s a battle between the head and the heart. “The harm has already been done,” my heart tells me, but my head says, “It’s done and will continue if you allow it.”

Where do I go, the head or the heart? Hmm.

—Doris

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": "When, Push, Came, Shove, Boyfriend, Asked, Date, His, Brother", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/111647.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-push-came-to-shove-my-boyfriend-asked-me-to-date-his-brother/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:38:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "108008", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Ex’s Wife Wants To Be My Friend", "title_slug": "my-exs-wife-wants-to-be-my-friend", "title_hash": "79907c6f86f2f87a7214c7e740067638", "summary": "About four years ago, one of my directors at work tragically unalived himself when he discovered his wife’s affair. Within six months of his burial, another man was hired to …", "content": "

About four years ago, one of my directors at work tragically unalived himself when he discovered his wife’s affair. Within six months of his burial, another man was hired to replace him.

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Coincidentally, I kept bumping into the new director outside work. Later, I found out his apartment is in the same area where I live. Sometimes, he would ask his assigned driver to give me a lift whenever we crossed paths. Over time, we became close. I got to know a bit about his personal life.

A few months later, he proposed that we start a relationship. I was sceptical at first. Something about him told me he might not be single. Besides, I was also seeing someone else. However, with time, my heart thawed. I found myself falling for him. Before I knew it, I was drifting away from the man I had been dating.

At the beginning, he seemed caring, responsible, and attentive—always available and checking in on me. I was sure I had found the one.

But something unexpected happened. One evening, I attended a party in the estate where he lived and ran into him leaving his place with another woman. He saw me too, but we both pretended not to recognise each other. They got into his car and left. I was devastated but didn’t confront him or reach out.

A week later, he contacted me and tried to explain. The woman, he said, was his long-term girlfriend who lived and worked in another city but had come to visit. Despite his apologies, I decided to end things immediately. He asked that we remain friends, but my trust in him was gone, and we eventually drifted apart.

They got married a year later and now have children. During that time, I tried to rekindle my previous relationship, but it didn’t work out, so we also went our separate ways.

Earlier this year, our office held a party where colleagues attended with their spouses. My director’s wife came along. He introduced me to her as his colleague. She was warm and friendly. Surprisingly, I liked her personality.

Now, the issue I’m facing is that she wants us to be friends. I can’t tell whether what I feel around her is guilt or what, but it makes me uneasy.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

She has my number now. So she often calls and asks that we hang out. We’ve met twice, just to chat about everyday life, but I still feel uncomfortable in her company.

During our last meeting, she even showed up with her husband. I couldn’t stay. I made an excuse and left early.

How can I politely distance myself from her without raising suspicion?

—Rafah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Ex’s, Wife, Wants, Friend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_0054.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-exs-wife-wants-to-be-my-friend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:38:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "107788", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Constitution: A Scam by Rich White Men, for Rich White Men (Podcast)", "title_slug": "the-constitution-a-scam-by-rich-white-men-for-rich-white-men-podcast", "title_hash": "1061e6f964fe4293129a1438e462f2f6", "summary": "Slavers wrote the Constitution and Elie Mystal says it’s working as intended.\nThe post The Constitution: A Scam by Rich White Men, for Rich White Men (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The Constitution isn’t sacred—it’s a sham that pretends to be about equality but actually only benefits white men in power. Imani Gandy talks with best-selling author Elie Mystal about why the Constitution has never worked for Black people, how the Supreme Court weaponizes it to strip people of their rights, and what it would look like to scrap it and start over.

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Episodes like this take time, research, and a commitment to the truth. If you love B*tch, Listen, chip in to keep help Imani keep her podcast going. Become a supporter today.

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first.

The post The Constitution: A Scam by Rich White Men, for Rich White Men (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Constitution:, Scam, Rich, White, Men, for, Rich, White, Men, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "51", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/B_L-Podcast-Web-Ep-02.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/30/the-constitution-a-scam-by-rich-white-men-for-rich-white-men-podcast/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-31 04:28:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106997", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Flux Flip: Making Your Conversation Expertly Smooth", "title_slug": "the-flux-flip-making-your-conversation-expertly-smooth", "title_hash": "8caac1d3f540285c9767774ac3e6e74d", "summary": "The best conversations are about EMOTION. But what kinds of emotion? Too long in any one feeling and it gets boring… or oppressive. Use the flux flip to keep conversations sexy & FRESH.\nBack in 2014, I wrote an ebook on a concept I call ‘the flux flip’.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"master$ The best conversations are about EMOTION. But what kinds of emotion? Too long in any one feeling and it gets boring… or oppressive. Use the flux flip to keep conversations sexy & FRESH.

Back in 2014, I wrote an ebook on a concept I call ‘the flux flip’.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Flux, Flip:, Making, Your, Conversation, Expertly, Smooth", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/flux-flip-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/flux-flip-making-your-conversation-expertly-smooth", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:27:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106996", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Psychological Triggers That Make Her Lust for You Instantly", "title_slug": "10-psychological-triggers-that-make-her-lust-for-you-instantly", "title_hash": "58f62065b2e14fa7ebb14382c83c37d8", "summary": "It’s not always about looks or money or charm. Sometimes, what makes her drawn to you is something…", "content": "It’s not always about looks or money or charm. Sometimes, what makes her drawn to you is something…", "keywords": ", Psychological, Triggers, That, Make, Her, Lust, for, You, Instantly", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/couple-happy-in-love-e1756073773965.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-psychological-triggers-that-make-her-lust-for-you-instantly/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:27:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106995", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Texts That’ll Make Her Regret Leaving You", "title_slug": "11-texts-thatll-make-her-regret-leaving-you", "title_hash": "b58c36edeeda2a01c0d40ba82c320c8b", "summary": "Sometimes silence says enough, but a few well-chosen words can make her remember everything she walked away from.Not…", "content": "Sometimes silence says enough, but a few well-chosen words can make her remember everything she walked away from.Not…", "keywords": ", Texts, That’ll, Make, Her, Regret, Leaving, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/woman-with-phone.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/11-texts-thatll-make-her-regret-leaving-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:27:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106994", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Rugby Shirts", "title_slug": "best-rugby-shirts", "title_hash": "db7135076bbfc4b0b30399979c144c81", "summary": "10 Rugged Rugby Shirts to Add a Touch of Prep & Athleticism to Your Wardrobe", "content": "It’s something often talked about in the wonderful world of menswear: The best style staples of today sprang from purpose, from utility and from reliability. The list goes on, including the cotton chino, the white T-shirt and the blue jean, and you can apply those same benchmarks to the best rugby shirts.\r\nA long-sleeve cousin of the polo shirt, the multi-button placket and foldover collar made the shirt a sporting staple that’s been modified over time for modern-day wear (and yet, it’s still worn to great effect to actually play rugby). If the polo shirt is a touch preppy, then the best rugby shirts for men are both preppy and yet slightly more rugged: This writer can recall his grandfather wearing one from L.L Bean over the holidays in front of a roaring fire, a style move that still works to great effect today.\r\nThe best men’s rugby shirts are often built from thickly woven cotton or even wool and cashmere, or else performance-minded merino fabric. Some rugby shirts boast a contrasting collar, often in white to play off the body of the shirt itself, and others feature bold, thick stripes across the chest. The rugby shirt is as wearable as the Oxford shirt or the chambray shirt, a piece that’s crisp and versatile but a step below wearing a blazer (a rugby shirt might prove apt for Thanksgiving when worn with corduroy trousers).\r\nRELATED: Best Full-Zip Sweaters for Men\r\nThe cold weather suits the best rugby shirts, but they can be used as a casually cool layer in spring when styled the right way (think light wash jeans and chunky leather loafers for a preppy, high-low change of pace). If you value the crisp look of a polo but want something a dash more rugged, thank the best rugby shirts this season.\r\nBuck Mason Seafarer Cotton Rugby Polo\r\n\r\nBoth a sweater and a polo, but fashioned from thick yarn-dyed cotton, this handsome rugby polo upgrades the classic polo in fine fashion. Note the racked stitch detailing at the cuffs and hem for a sporty, secure fit. The three-button placket is also an utterly classic touch.\r\n$198 at BuckMason.com \r\nFlint and Tinder Rugby Polo\r\n\r\nThe good folks at Huckberry, always with a keen eye for vintage-inspired details and Americana classics, have used their in-house Flint and Tinder line to freshen up what the company calls “a collegiate classic.” Heavyweight cotton twill meets heritage-inspired contrast stitching throughout, while thick contrasting stripes fall perfectly in line with autumnal walks across campus.\r\n$138 at Huckberry.com \r\nEverlane Luxe Fleece Rugby Polo\r\n\r\nEverlane’s sustainable spin on the rugby polo uses a blend of organic cotton and polyester for extreme softness and stretch, while the contrasting white collar and placket is a timeless rugby polo touch. With a more burly, relaxed fit, this option offers contemporary looks in a relatively affordable package, to boot.\r\n$118 at Everlane.com \r\nTaylor Stitch Newton Sweater Polo\r\n\r\nThe luxe appeal of merino wool meets the refinement and yet classically rugged nature of the rugby polo — would you expect anything less from Taylor Stitch? The best rugby polos should feel comfortable as can be, and the thick-ribbed cuffs and hem of this shirt make for an extremely easy wearing experience — especially alongside Taylor Stitch’s expertly washed chinos.\r\n$178 at TaylorStitch.com \r\nBrooks Brothers Cotton Rugby Shirt\r\n\r\nA pillar of all-American prep style, Brooks Brothers brings a collegiate, vintage look and feel to modern times with this heritage favorite. Heavyweight jersey cotton construction and classic chest stripes add what the famed menswear house calls “authentic sporting style” to your next tailored-yet-versatile wearing occasion.\r\n$148 at BrooksBrothers.com \r\nPolo Ralph Lauren Icon Rugby Shirt\r\n\r\nRalph Lauren is another designer that helped bring prep and Americana to the masses, with a tasteful and stylish finish that blended luxury with a laidback, sporty appeal. The best men’s rugby shirts embody each of those qualities, with the Icon Shirt and the brand’s legendary Polo logo serving as exhibit A when it comes to traditional prep style made modern.\r\n$149.97 at Amazon.com \r\nLevi’s Classic Long-Sleeve Rugby Shirt\r\n\r\nAlthough perhaps better known for its game-changing denim and rock n’roll-approved denim jackets, Levi’s is a cornerstone of straightforward American style, and the preppy appeal of the rugby polo is a fine match for the famed California brand. This one gets a fitting update with a ‘90s-esque denim collar for good measure.\r\n \r\n$39.99 at Amazon.com \r\nCroker Traditional Ireland Rugby Polo\r\n\r\nIf you’d prefer to go all-out when wearing one of the best rugby polos, perhaps celebrating your Irish heritage and your love of sport in the process, go straight to the source with this foundational rugby polo celebrating tradition in every stitch. Richly crafted chest logos offer a sense of pride and authentic style.\r\n$68.95 at Amazon.com \r\nCharles River Apparel Classic Rugby Shirt\r\n\r\nThere’s something to be said for going incredibly classic when it comes to wearing a rugby shirt — it’s right there in the name of this handsome, timeless option from Charles River Apparel. Select from a wide array of striped and solid color options at a highly agreeable price, all the better to add some prep sporting appeal to your autumnal wardrobe.\r\n$43.60 at Amazon.com \r\nAdidas Go-To Rugby Polo\r\n\r\nThe three stripes of Adidas turn into flattering vertical striping on this polo, which calls to mind long-sleeve soccer jerseys (a fitting move for the sportswear giant and its influence on the game of futbol, naturally). The 100 percent cotton construction of this shirt, as the brand notes, also makes it an apt golfing shirt, but it should prove every bit as stylish when not hitting the links.\r\n$63.81 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Corduroy ShirtsBest Lightweight Long-Sleeve ShirtsBest Retro Tracksuits", "keywords": "Best, Rugby, Shirts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-rugby-shirts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1761680778.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-rugby-shirts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:27:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106992", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Fake an Orgasm", "title_slug": "how-to-fake-an-orgasm", "title_hash": "4960268e1cb2112d8d7f8ceba76732c8", "summary": "For a number of reasons, more and more men are having trouble reaching climax. Here's how to fake it when you really need to.", "content": "Orgasms are a big deal. Everyone knows that. But are they really that big of a deal? \r\nSometimes, people feel they’re so central to the experience of sex that it’s not really sex if there’s not an orgasm. And if there isn’t one coming (as it were), then it makes sense to them to pretend one happened. \r\nEver been in that kind of situation? Want everything to be perfect? Want to make the other person feel super desirable but you just know that you’re not going to climax? \r\nMaybe you felt like you should pretend you did and have a fake orgasm. \r\nIt might be a lonely feeling, but lots of guys have been there, otherwise this article wouldn’t exist. So yes, we spoke to a handful of sex experts to educate you on how to fake an orgasm — but also try to contextualize why faking orgasms is usually not necessary, rarely a great move and definitely not a helpful pattern to fall into. \r\nRELATED: Why Do Women Fake Orgasms? \r\nHere’s what they had to say: \r\n\r\nWhy Would a Guy Fake an Orgasm?\r\n\r\nWhy would a guy want to fake an orgasm exactly? Well, it’s usually because they feel like they’re expected to cum, but are worried they won’t be able to. \r\nIt’s usually assumed that guys find it easy to cum — in fact, the whole concept of premature ejaculation basically suggests that if anything, guys climax too easily. However, when your lived experience doesn’t match up with that perception, it can be a weird feeling, and cause some people to seek out a workaround. \r\nThere are lots of reasons why you might struggle to orgasm, both physiological and psychological. As with erection issues, many health problems can impact sexual function, and mental health issues like anxiety, stress and depression can as well. Plus, medications can often be a factor. \r\n“I have so many clients who faked for months (even years) after changing to meds (often antidepressants) that produced side effects hindering sexual response and ejaculation, in particular,” says O’Reilly. \r\nRELATED: Are Your Antidepressants Messing With Your Sex Drive? \r\n“It can feel like more pressure to divulge that you can’t ‘finish,’ since men’s sexuality (and virility) tends to be framed as straightforward and pleasure-focused,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., Astroglide’s resident sexologist. “They’re not given space and permission to be nuanced, human and complicated.”\r\nAs such, it’s not surprising that faking orgasms is more typically associated with women than men, and the data bears this out. However, it’s far from a black-and-white situation. \r\n“Research finds that, on average, women are more likely to report having faked an orgasm than men,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Lovehoney Scientific Advisor and Kinsey Institute Researcher. “However, a substantial number of men have done so before, with numbers ranging from 25-34% in surveys where men have been asked about this.”\r\nO’Reilly, for her part, notes one study that found up to 71% of guys who’ve said they’ve faked it. In her experience, clients have faked for a variety of reasons: to avoid having to admit they weren’t going to cum, didn’t have the energy to actually bring themselves to orgasm, were having sex that wasn’t conducive to climax, and to hide that they were experiencing whiskey dick. \r\nAnother is in a situation where you might feel unsafe, Zane notes. If your sex partner has a history of angry outbursts or violence, trying to provide a “happy ending” makes perfect sense. \r\nIf you think “your partner would be very angry with you or violent if you said, ‘Hey, I don’t think it’s happening tonight,’” Zane says, then faking an orgasm is a more than reasonable approach. \r\n\r\nHow to Fake an Orgasm (as a Man)\r\n\r\nSome people with penises can fake orgasms so convincingly that “their partners can’t tell the difference,” O’Reilly says. \r\n“They shake their bodies, moan like they’re having an orgasm and some even clench and release their muscles quickly to feign contractions,” she adds. “I’ve had some folks confess that they overdo it with theatrics to make sure their partners don’t get suspicious.”\r\nZachary Zane, sex and relationship expert for #LubeLife, concurs that it’s doable. \r\n“It’s not that hard, especially if you’re using condoms,” he says. “You moan and make your orgasm sound, slowing down your pumping, and make it seem like you’re ejaculating into the condom. You then take off the condom and throw it out without your partner seeing, so they don’t see that you didn’t actually ejaculate.”\r\nIt may be a bit harder to fake during non-condom sex, but it’s far from impossible. While written and illustrated erotica (and certain porn genres) would have you believe it’s normal to ejaculate bucketloads of cum, the average volume of ejaculate is less than a teaspoon, and receptive partners may not always be able to tell beyond a reasonable doubt when someone has cum inside them — particularly if they’re already very lubricated down there. \r\nRELATED: How to Increase Semen Volume\r\nPlus, while it might seem much harder to fake a penile ejaculation than a vaginal orgasm, which often doesn’t involve the spewing of fluids, so much of human interaction is based on expectation, and if someone’s expecting you to cum and you throw some of the signifiers of having cum into the mix, why would they have any reason to doubt you? \r\nAs such, the male lack of reputation for faking orgasms can work in your favor, causing a partner to be more likely to believe in your fake orgasm, while on the flip-side, women may face scrutiny over very real ones. As with so much of life, if you smile and act confident, you might just get away with it. \r\n\r\nWhy Faking Orgasms Isn’t a Great Idea\r\n\r\nThough it may be more common than you realized and easier than you’d have guessed (no fake ejaculation needed!), in the vast majority of sexual encounters, faking an orgasm is at best a band-aid solution and at worst a step towards establishing a rapport based on dishonesty and secrecy with a sexual partner. \r\nO’Reilly and Lehmiller both note that there are valid reasons to fake orgasms. Making your partner feel better, making yourself feel sexier, or just making the experience feel less disappointing are all valid reasons in the moment. \r\nIn a one-night stand or first-time hookup context, for instance, Zane notes, faking it might be easier than explaining the reasons you don’t feel you can cum to someone you don’t really know. \r\nBut, as he says, “I don’t think that’s a good habit to get into.”\r\n“I think it’s better just to say you’re not going to be able to cum,” Zane advises. “Men aren’t cumming machines, despite how society depicts us; sometimes, we just can’t finish. It’s normal and happens to us all.”\r\nO’Reilly agrees that the big issue is when a one-off or occasional fake becomes a habit.\r\n“If something works for you, I’m not going to tell you it’s a ‘bad idea,’” she says. “But if you consistently fake orgasms, you may get more of what isn’t working for you. \r\nAs Lehmiller puts it, “fake orgasms reinforce behaviors that you don’t actually enjoy (and thereby increase the odds of bad sex in the future).” \r\nAnother issue? Your reasons for faking. \r\n“If you’ve been faking and want to break the habit, you likely want to start with yourself and consider what you’re trying to avoid,” O’Reilly suggests. “Is it conflict, embarrassment, rejection, awkwardness or something else? If you can understand your own motivations, you may find a better way to communicate with your partner.”\r\nThough it can be a vulnerable thing to share, she suggests being honest about the situation. Framing it as something you want your partner’s help with can help reduce the implication that they’ve done something wrong. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Your Unsatisfying Sex Life \r\n“Shame can also intensify when you feel the need to perform pleasure rather than experience it,” says O’Reilly. “Over time, this can create distance between partners (as well as disconnection from your own body) and reinforce anxiety.”\r\n“If your partner believes what you’re doing (together) feels good, they’ll likely keep doing it, which means your needs will remain unmet and pleasure can become harder to access.”\r\nO’Reilly says that even if you have been faking, you don’t need to address it in a dramatic fashion necessarily. \r\n“You don’t have to make a grand confession,” she says. “You can start by talking about what does feel good. Sometimes it’s easier to ask for what you want (and you may need to learn what you like through more mindful solo sex) rather than talking about what hasn’t worked thus far.”\r\nAt the end of the day, Zane says, “Faking or lying during sex takes away from your own pleasure and enjoyment. Honesty is key; you should be able to focus on what feels good to you, rather than performing for someone else or worrying about their feelings if they can't make you climax.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nYour 101 Guide to Female Climax (And How to Get Her There)How to (Honestly) Talk About Sex With a PartnerThe Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex Right Now", "keywords": "How, Fake, Orgasm", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/417_how-to-fake-an-orgasm/askmen-lead-image-2x1-4-1761768222.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/417_how-to-fake-an-orgasm.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:27:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106993", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Get Fit in Your 40s and Beyond", "title_slug": "how-to-get-fit-in-your-40s-and-beyond", "title_hash": "29384b3bff6851c083fe0910f0aee76e", "summary": "Make the Most of Your Middle Age by Preparing Your Body for Everything", "content": "People say that 40 is the new 30 — but things can look a little different on the fitness front as you enter your forties. You can thrive at any age, but you may need to tweak your workout routine to adapt to realities such as hormonal changes and a higher risk of injury.\r\nFor example, research shows that testosterone levels tend to decline by about one percent a year as you get older. This can affect your ability to gain muscle or lead to weight gain. The good news is, staying fit can help you offset some of the effects of aging and stay strong and healthy for years to come. So, you should absolutely keep setting and crushing fitness goals regardless of your age.\r\nRELATED: Why It's Time to Stop Using Your Age as an Excuse\r\nHere are eight simple but important tips to help you stay in shape and hit your athletic goals after 40.\r\n\r\n8 Principles for Achieving Fitness Success in Middle Age\r\n\r\nUse It or Lose It\r\nAustin Treadwell, doctor of physical therapy and telehealth provider, says that “use it or lose it” is a golden life — and fitness — principle that becomes even more important in your forties: “If you’re not staying physically active and constantly putting your muscle to work, they will shrink up. Even worse, the older you are, the more easily you can lose your gains.”\r\nTreadwell adds that the production of important muscle-building and fat-building hormones, such as Human Growth Hormone (HGH) and testosterone, also decreases as you age, which makes staying consistent with your fitness routine crucial.\r\n“While this may seem cliche, the most important thing a man can do is incorporate exercise into their daily habits and routine. Once this becomes ingrained into your life, it has a significantly higher likelihood of continuing for years,” says Eddie Lester, CEO of Fitness Mentors.\r\nIn other words, if you want to achieve fitness goals after 40, being consistent with workouts and healthy habits isn’t a luxury.\r\nPrioritize Strength-Training\r\nPrioritizing strength-training is the second most important thing you can do. “I recommend prioritizing strength training to preserve muscle mass, boost metabolism, and support bone health,” says certified personal trainer and Programme app founder Sean Klein.\r\nAs Treadwell puts it, when it comes to reaching your fitness and body composition goals, “there’s no substitute for a good lift.” He recommends working each major muscle group at least twice a week for best results. According to Klein, focusing on compound exercises like squats, deadlifts, and bench presses is key as well, as it improves functional movement and balance, which become increasingly important with time.\r\nPace Yourself And Stay Patient\r\nAccording to Lester, one of the big differences between achieving fitness goals after 40 versus when you’re younger is the time it takes to see results: “Most men remember how quick and easy it was to lose weight or gain muscle in their 20s, but decreases in testosterone and other age related hormones decrease the speed of progress significantly.”\r\nThis means that staying patient is important. Keep hitting the gym and training for strength. The results will come. Wondering how much to challenge yourself? Just because you’re in your 40s doesn’t mean you should stop lifting heavy — but pacing yourself and focusing on progressive overload (increasing resistance gradually) matters more now than it did before.\r\n“It’s important to think more long-term for your fitness goals. As you’re planning your workouts, keep in mind that you're at a much higher risk for an injury or over-training than you were when you were in your 20s,” says Treadwell. “Try to keep all of your workouts around an hour or less, and take plenty of breaks. Rome wasn’t built in a day.”\r\nShift Your Focus to Holistic Well-Being\r\nKlein notes that many men over 40 shift their focus from training for looks to training for overall health and well-being. Consider doing the same, as it will help keep your motivation high for the rest of your life. “[Set] goals that prioritize strength, cardiovascular health, flexibility, and balance rather than just trying to achieve a certain look or body fat percentage,” recommends Klein.\r\nSet Goals Around Rest and Recovery\r\nSetting goals around rest and recovery instead of playing things by ear on that front makes a lot of sense after 40. Incorporate rest days and recovery techniques such as foam rolling and stretching into your routine, suggests Klein: “It can help prevent overtraining, injury and improve overall movement quality.”\r\nAdditionally, make sure you’re getting plenty of high-quality sleep. “Sleep is one of the most important elements to optimize for success in achieving a fitness goal after 40. Its role in hormonal optimization and muscle repair is crucial,” says Lester.\r\nWarm Up and Cool Down Properly\r\nAlso, add warming up and cooling down properly to your list of things that are no longer an option after 40. “Your muscles become less pliable as you age and you’re at an increased risk for soft-tissue injuries; starting and finishing your workouts with a nice 10 to 20 minute walk will help prevent those injuries,” says Treadwell.\r\nEat Enough Protein\r\nAs you get older, your body requires roughly 50 percent more protein than a younger adult, according to Health Hub. To avoid letting your workouts go to waste, make sure you’re eating a source of protein at every meal.\r\nWhile individual needs vary, the minimum recommendation for adults is a daily intake of 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight — and you’ll probably need more if you’re lifting weights. Consider working with a dietitian or nutritionist to optimize your protein intake.\r\nMind Your Alcohol Consumption\r\nFinally, decreasing your alcohol consumption can go a long way when it comes to reaching fitness goals after 40. Drinking can affect both your sleep and hormones, so it may slow down your progress in the gym. “It is so common to unwind with a drink or a few drinks, but this is counterproductive for almost all health and fitness goals,” says Lester.\r\nThis information isn’t meant to make you feel discouraged about the effects of aging on your body, but to empower you to take care of it for decades to come. It’s all about focusing on a long-term, sustainable approach to fitness. Apply the tips above to your routine and you may just feel better and stronger than ever.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCommon Ab Exercise MistakesThe Best Pre-Workouts to Add to Your RoutineHow to Build Bigger Quads", "keywords": "How, Get, Fit, Your, 40s, and, Beyond", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-get-fit-in-your-40s-and-beyond/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1761763075.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-get-fit-in-your-40s-and-beyond.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:27:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106841", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Caught Him Cheating With Ten Different Women", "title_slug": "i-caught-him-cheating-with-ten-different-women", "title_hash": "68457ea76795927a0ffd839f77b7e168", "summary": "I met Nicholas when I was in SHS. By then I was living with my aunt who maltreated me to the point where I developed high blood pressure. In those …", "content": "

I met Nicholas when I was in SHS. By then I was living with my aunt who maltreated me to the point where I developed high blood pressure. In those difficult times, Nick was my friend and my comfort. I knew his family, and he knew mine. We were so close that I didn’t have any second thoughts when we started dating.

After completing SHS, I enrolled in a Travel and Tour school but I couldn’t complete it. I got pregnant. I had to get a job and support Nick with the pregnancy expenses. When it was time for delivery, he was nowhere to be found. His abandonment left me depressed. Because of my mental state, I stayed at the hospital with my baby for two weeks. I was discharged after several counselling sessions.

It was when our baby was eight months old that he came back overflowing with apologies. I was still hurt but I chose to let go of the past and give him another chance.

Along the line, I moved to another city where I lived for three years. At some point, I had accommodation problems, so he told me to move in with him. He said we would get married. Our daughter was five years old then. I wanted her to stay close to her father. It was one of the factors I considered when I accepted his proposal and moved in with him.

One day, our landlady called me aside and asked if I really knew my boyfriend well. I told her I’d known him since 2010. She looked at me and said, “You can’t be with him — he’s a chronic womaniser.” In my mind, I thought, “This woman paa, my man is too innocent to cheat.” So I brushed it off.

Soon after, I found out I was pregnant with our second child. We decided to wait until after I gave birth so we could do the naming ceremony and the traditional marriage ceremony together. Everything was going well until one of his lovers showed up at the house unannounced.

She was shocked when she saw my belly and my daughter. According to her, my boyfriend had told her that my child was his niece. She wanted to cause a scene, but I pleaded with her to calm down. I even left the room so they could talk.

Hours later, she came out and told me, “You deserve someone better. The way you received me shows you’re a good person. You need a man who will love and cherish you.”

That day, I cried bitterly. My boyfriend didn’t even apologise. He acted like nothing had happened. So I decided to go through his phone. That was when I discovered he was sleeping with more than ten women. That discovery was a two-edged sword. It broke me but it also liberated me.

I told him, “I won’t marry you when I give birth. I am done.”

After giving birth, I went to visit my aunt when my baby was four months old. While I was away, he brought another woman into the house and hid both my belongings and the children’s things. What broke me the most was where he kept my newborn baby’s items in a dirty place full of waste.

I had nowhere to go with two kids, so I stayed with him for three more months. During that time, he wouldn’t talk to me, eat my food, or even show remorse.

One day, I stood in front of my mirror and didn’t recognise the person I had become. I looked miserable. That was when I told myself, I have to move out for the sake of my kids.

I started taking care of myself again. I dressed well, ate well, and prayed.

When he noticed the change, he tried to come close again — after three months! But I had already made up my mind. I packed my things and my children’s belongings and went to the village.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

We stayed there for a few months. I thought about going to Accra to look for a job but I didn’t know anyone. Then one day I overheard someone saying there was a woman in Accra looking for a housemaid.

Nicholas thought I would come back to him since I had no money or place to stay, but God had other plans. Now, I’m in Accra working as a housemaid. I’m not ashamed of it. I finally have peace of mind, and I’m happy. I may have wasted my youthful years with a man who didn’t deserve me, but through it all, I say — it is well.

— Christiana

#SB

", "keywords": ", Caught, Him, Cheating, With, Ten, Different, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9943.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-caught-him-cheating-with-ten-different-women/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:20:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106840", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Brought My Husband to Canada But Now I Want Him Deported", "title_slug": "i-brought-my-husband-to-canada-but-now-i-want-him-deported", "title_hash": "a93958fe34ddebd1cbd50c4b84fcafc4", "summary": "The first time I met him was six years ago. I had come home from Canada for a short visit. He proposed to me, but I didn’t accept immediately. I …", "content": "

The first time I met him was six years ago. I had come home from Canada for a short visit. He proposed to me, but I didn’t accept immediately. I asked if he had a girlfriend, and he said no. I asked if I said yes, another lady wouldn’t appear out of nowhere to confront me, and he laughed. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend,” he said. “If you say yes, it will be only you.”

So I said yes, and we started dating. I never imagined that this meeting would rewrite the course of my life and bring me to where I am now. He was charming and soft-spoken, the kind of man who listened with his eyes. I believed it was going to be the love story I had always waited for.

When I returned to Canada, we kept talking through voice notes, late-night calls, good-morning messages that made the distance feel smaller. Three months later, I missed my period. When the test came back positive, I called him, nervous but hopeful. “I’m pregnant,” I said.

He was so overjoyed we started planning our traditional marriage and dreaming of a family that would bridge continents.

When our son was born, I decided I didn’t want to be alone. It was time for us to be together. I asked him again, for the hundredth time, if he had a girlfriend. His answer was firm and unwavering. “Never,” he said. “It’s only you.”

I believed him.

I wanted him to come to Canada so badly that I offered to sponsor him, but I later changed my mind. I suggested he come on a student visa instead, which was a faster route. I told him once he arrived, we’d marry here, and I would sponsor him so we could start afresh as a family. He agreed.

But when it was time to travel, something strange happened. I was in Toronto waiting for his arrival when he told me he’d bought a ticket to Vancouver instead. “Just a cheaper route,” he said casually. I didn’t question it. Love blinds you that way.

Unbeknownst to me, he chose to land in Vancouver because he had a girlfriend there. Since then, peace has left my home. That woman in Vancouver never stopped calling him through phone calls and video calls. He would be with me and would be talking to this woman, smiling and acting like a boy with a new toy. When I complained, he turned vicious. He would insult me, then go silent and act like I didn’t matter in his world.

I began to regret everything; the marriage, bringing him here and I even cursed the day we met.

Still, I stayed. When I got pregnant again, I told myself maybe things would change after I gave birth to our second child. The baby girl arrived not long ago, a tiny and perfect bundle of joy.

Then one afternoon, I was feeding the baby when my phone rang. The number was unknown.

“Hello?” I said.
\n“Good afternoon,” a familiar voice replied.

It was his best friend, the one who used to visit us every Sunday with wine and laughter. But his tone was different now—heavy and uncertain.

“Please, I have something to tell you,” he said. “Something you deserve to know.”

And then he poured out the truth like poison.

“Your husband has a serious girlfriend in Vancouver,” he said, “a woman he has promised to marry.”

He was building a house for her in Ghana, spending on her like there was no tomorrow. Everyone in their circle knew that lady as his wife. He even sent money to her parents in Ghana, treating them like in-laws.

I have a business here in Canada. The savings I made from my business, this man has used on his girlfriend. He’d emptied our joint account to fund his double life, while I thought he was using the money for the good of the family.

I listened in silence as the friend spoke, every word slicing deeper. He told me to be careful and watchful, and that anytime my husband came home with a frown on his face, it meant he had a fight with the woman in Vancouver.

He got a new job in a different city, so he spends more time there than with us. He comes here only on weekends. He told me that when my husband said he was working in another city, it wasn’t just work. He was meeting the lady, spending nights in her arms while I stayed home with our children, believing he was working overtime for our family.

Even after all that, I still tried to protect him. The very first day he landed in Canada, I advised him to go to school since he came on a student visa. He ignored my advice. Five months ago, immigration wrote to him to explain why he didn’t go to school when he was on a student visa. I went to immigration with him, and since I’m a Canadian citizen, I filed for his residency. They were ready to grant it because of our two children.

But now, after knowing everything, my heart is done. I have decided to withdraw my application, and the moment I do that, he will be deported. He’s begging for forgiveness, shedding tears, making promises and empty words. But I feel nothing. The love has died; the trust is buried.

My parents are begging on his behalf. They are telling me not to withdraw the application. “Think of the children,” they say. “Let him stay, but make him pay for the documents instead.”

But I can’t forget. I can’t unsee the lies, the betrayal, the humiliation. This man has no good intentions toward me.
\nIf I cancel the application, he’ll be deported as soon as possible. There’s already a deportation notice on his file for refusing to attend school.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

So here I am, torn between mercy and justice. Do I take the money and let him stay, or cancel everything and watch him go back to where it all began? I stare at him sometimes as he pleads, and I wonder, how can someone destroy you so quietly and still ask to be saved? I don’t know what to do. Should I let immigration deport him… or should I take the money and keep pretending we’re still a family?

—Anokyewaa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Brought, Husband, Canada, But, Now, Want, Him, Deported", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/157142.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-brought-my-husband-to-canada-but-now-i-want-him-deported/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:20:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106839", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Boyfriend Doesn’t Believe I Want To Be A Catholic Sister", "title_slug": "my-boyfriend-doesnt-believe-i-want-to-be-a-catholic-sister", "title_hash": "6b97780c964d49d4f41eef70635ee379", "summary": "I signed up to volunteer for a charity organisation run by catholic sisters after I completed my university education. Initially, I started doing this work to occupy myself as I …", "content": "

I signed up to volunteer for a charity organisation run by catholic sisters after I completed my university education. Initially, I started doing this work to occupy myself as I wait to graduate and get a job. However, my experience here has rekindled in my heart a childhood dream I once had.

I wanted to be a nun since childhood. However, as I got older I drifted away from that dream a little. I even have a boyfriend I have been with for two years. I was planning my future around him. His family knows me very well. His mother, especially, adores me.

Although I am only 22, our plan was for me to get a stable job so we’d start marriage preparations. All of that has changed now. Working with the catholic sisters has awoken something in me. Or let me just say that I have fallen in love with their life of service and charity.

I know they live a simple life. They can’t get married and have kids, I understand. Their purpose is to serve others and that is what draws me to them. The way they feed hungry children, visit sick people, and show kindness to everyone they come across is a calling I am ready to answer.

I explained this to my boyfriend. I didn’t try to end our relationship. I know this is not something I can just jump into. I need to take my time, to make sure this is a path I truly want to dedicate my life to. I have been thinking and praying but my mind is a bit divided because my boyfriend is in the picture.

So I told him, “Let’s take a little break so I can have some space to do some introspection and make a decision concerning my future.

I expected him to be understanding but unfortunately, he overreacted and ended the relationship. He doesn’t believe I want to join a convent. “Why don’t you just admit that you’ve left me for another man?” He accused.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

After all the love we’ve shared over the last two years, I am surprised he has jumped to the conclusion that this is just something I am saying to push him away so I can go and be with another man. His accusations hurt me deeply.

I have tried to explain my feelings to him but he is acting like a jilted lover. He says I have taken him for granted. I want to gracefully let him go but I feel sorry for his mum. Who would she believe? What if she also thinks I have taken her affection for me for granted?

Right now, I feel so torn between what my heart desires and the pain of this situation.

—Theresa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend, Doesn’t, Believe, Want, Catholic, Sister", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9968.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriend-doesnt-believe-i-want-to-be-a-catholic-sister/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-30 08:20:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106838", "lang_id": "1", "title": "One Plate of Bambara Beans and My Life Was Never the Same Again", "title_slug": "one-plate-of-bambara-beans-and-my-life-was-never-the-same-again", "title_hash": "015536d7ec67a1814eee4bcffa3d112e", "summary": "One Sunday afternoon, after eating Bambara beans, I started having stomach pain out of nowhere. I didn’t make a big deal out of it. In my head, it was just …", "content": "

One Sunday afternoon, after eating Bambara beans, I started having stomach pain out of nowhere. I didn’t make a big deal out of it. In my head, it was just a little discomfort that would pass. So I walked to the pharmacy, grabbed some over-the-counter medicine, and waited for it to do its job.

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By Monday morning, the pain was still there. But I had work. I forced myself up, dressed, and headed out, hoping the pain would fade on its own. On the way, things got worse. My stomach was twisting and turning. I was restless. My body started shaking. I couldn’t breathe properly. Sweat broke out on my forehead, my nose, and under my lips; my clothes were soaked. My face was changing. I looked sick. I knew I needed to stop and go back home. But I kept going, thinking maybe a little rest at the office wellness centre would help. Maybe the nurse could give me something stronger.

When I got to the office, I could barely hold myself together. And the nurse wasn’t around.

I lay down at the wellness centre, trying to stay calm, trying to maintain some steeze. Then came the urge to poop. I rushed to the washroom, but nothing came out. I pushed and pushed, because I was so pressed, but still, nothing. Just pain. Sharp, unbearable pain. I cried. I didn’t even realize when the tears started. I was weak, trembling, scared. Every push felt like someone had shoved a knife inside me and was twisting it slowly. I thought I was going to die right there in that washroom.

I screamed for help.

They rushed me to Accra Medical Center, the closest hospital. After tests, scans, poking, and prodding by different doctors, they gave me the diagnosis: COLON STRICTURE. A blockage. And it needed surgery.

Then they gave me the cost. ₵85,600.

I opened my eyes wide, then shut them again, thinking it was a joke. My knees buckled. There was no way I could afford it. So I lied to my family. Told them the pain wasn’t that bad. I didn’t want to burden them. But they insisted I try other hospitals. The price was the same everywhere.

Then my dad suggested something else. A village herbalist his friend swore by. Said the man was good at his job. We agreed to go, that day we woke up at dawn and travelled deep into the countryside.

I didn’t know we were heading to a shrine until we got there.

If you turn left, you see strange rituals. If you look right, there are leaves, baths, and things I can’t even explain. The herbalist told us to come back and thank the gods if the pain stopped. We agreed.

And for one week, I felt fine. I thought I was healed.

But then the pain came back. This time, the pain was worse. It was harder, cruel, and completely unbearable.

I was suffering so badly, my dad finally involved his brothers. They helped raise the money for the surgery.

During all this, I was praying, but not consistently. I was tired. Angry. Scared. When the doctor explained the surgery process, I panicked. That night, I went back to the place of prayer. I made a covenant with God. I said, “Baba God, if You see me through this, I’ll come back and thank You properly.”

And God came through. He showed up. He showed off.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

The surgery was successful. My uncles, bless them, stepped in when my dad couldn’t. Today, I eat freely. I poop freely. I live freely. And yes, I fulfilled my covenant with God.

But now, my dad wants us to go back to the herbalist. To thank the ‘gods’ for a healing that never happened. And I’m torn.

Because deep down, I feel like going back is giving credit to something that didn’t help me. I suffered more after that visit. I cried harder. I nearly died. It was God who saved me. So why should I go back and bow to a lesser god?

Would I go back if I were in your shoes.

I’d sit my dad down, gently, and explain. I’d tell him I respect his beliefs, but my healing came from above. From the One I made a covenant with. And that’s where my thanks belong.

You understand me, right? If you were in my shoes, would you go back to fulfill that promise?

—Martha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

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One of the things that made me believe Kwabena was a faithful man was how possessive he was. In the early stages of our relationship, he would complain about my male friends. He didn’t like the fact that I spoke to them regularly, some of which I spoke to late into the night. He would tell me, “I trust you but I don’t trust those men. I am trying to protect what we have but we have to be on the same page. If you need to talk to someone, I am here. I am not just your boyfriend, I am your friend.”

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His determination to safeguard the commitment we made to each other erased any doubt I had about giving him a chance. Yes, initially I was hesitant about accepting his proposal because I felt I didn’t know him well enough. We met at work. We worked in the same facility but in different departments. So we weren’t really friends when he expressed interest in me. This made me hold back a little.

However, he proved to me that I didn’t have anything to worry about. Over the course of the first year, the relationship was good. I was happily enjoying the peace and love I was experiencing with him. I believed I had found a man I could build a future with.

All of that changed in May this year. He started demonstrating certain traits that unsettled me. For instance, he knew the password to my phone yet he wouldn’t share his with me. He protected his phone as if it held secrets that would jeopardise national security if it fell into the wrong hands.

Somewhere in June, I was at his place when I

I felt compelled to check his phone. I checked his SMS but I found nothing. He showed up before I could go to WhatsApp so I had to abort mission that day.

The next month, I got the chance to check his WhatsApp messages. I wasn’t ready for what I found. He was having multiple conversations with different women. His chat with one of the women revealed that they were intimate.

When I confronted him, he denied having anything sexual with the lady. According to him, the chats were part of a plan by the woman to deter her ex-boyfriend who had hacked her phone. I found his explanation unconvincing because of what I saw. But I let it go after he apologised over and over again.

While I was making preparations to travel to another region for school I was worried about what might happen in my absence. So I accessed his WhatsApp again. I found out he was still talking to the same lady he claimed he didn’t have anything to do with.

I couldn’t tell what was going on because he deleted some of the messages. Regardless, I took screenshots. I didn’t have enough information to go on so I did not confront him.

The problem now is that he is angry with me. He got to know that I accessed his WhatsApp. “Even married couples deserve privacy,” he lashed out. I didn’t think I did anything wrong but I apologised for invading his privacy.

His strong reaction suggests that he has something to hide. All the trust I had in him is gone. Is it true what they’ve been saying that all men cheat? For those in happy relationships and marriages, are your partners faithful? Or you’ve simply chosen to ignore indiscretions? We share everything yet he is calling his phone his privacy. How?

—Esi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

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$\"when$ Women will sleep with men sometimes – only to vanish and not stick around for a relationship. Why does this happen? Screening problems… and conversion ones.

On an article by Tony about sexual things that drive a woman wild, Sam-2 shared this story:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "What, You, Your, Best, Self, Isnt, Enough, for, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/best-self-isnt-enough-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/what-do-you-do-if-your-best-self-isnt-enough-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:43:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106350", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Things That Draw A Man Closer To A Woman Emotionally And Physically", "title_slug": "7-things-that-draw-a-man-closer-to-a-woman-emotionally-and-physically", "title_hash": "482b28ff5ca5d6d3ebec85080afa135a", "summary": "There’s a way a woman moves when she’s not trying to be noticed. It’s calm. Real. Unrehearsed. You…", "content": "There’s a way a woman moves when she’s not trying to be noticed. It’s calm. Real. Unrehearsed. You…", "keywords": ", Things, That, Draw, Man, Closer, Woman, Emotionally, And, Physically", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/lust-e1761594959919.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-things-that-draw-a-man-closer-to-a-woman-emotionally-and-physically/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:43:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106351", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Things Woman Do When She is Comfortable and Happy in Intimacy", "title_slug": "12-things-woman-do-when-she-is-comfortable-and-happy-in-intimacy", "title_hash": "e31abd538c9ad10ee56a7b34d872b4ac", "summary": "There’s a softness that lives in a woman when she finally feels safe with someone. It’s not the…", "content": "There’s a softness that lives in a woman when she finally feels safe with someone. It’s not the…", "keywords": ", Things, Woman, When, She, Comfortable, and, Happy, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/during-2-e1761590982551.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-things-woman-do-when-she-is-comfortable-and-happy-in-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:43:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106349", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Things That Turn a Woman On Without Touching Her", "title_slug": "12-things-that-turn-a-woman-on-without-touching-her", "title_hash": "1b1e796791b6ed768eaa885244dacd10", "summary": "You don’t always need to touch her to make her feel something. Sometimes it’s just your energy, the…", "content": "You don’t always need to touch her to make her feel something. Sometimes it’s just your energy, the…", "keywords": ", Things, That, Turn, Woman, Without, Touching, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-things-that-turn-a-woman-on-without-touching-her/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:42:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106347", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why You Should Start Planking Daily and the Best Plank Variations", "title_slug": "why-you-should-start-planking-daily-and-the-best-plank-variations", "title_hash": "ec3b5c4debafc24923fcb35c6c1f51d5", "summary": "Build Core Strength, Improve Your Posture & Unlock Your Hips With One Simple Exercise", "content": "According to Guinness World Records, the “longest time in an abdominal plank position” is eight hours, 15 minutes and 15 seconds and was completed by former Marine George Hood in Naperville, Illinois on 15 February 2020.\r\nIt’s an impressive feat but unless you’re looking to run the clock down on your life, it’s pretty much the opposite of what you should be aiming for when you include the classic core move in your workout routine.\r\nRELATED: How to Get Six-Pack Abs\r\nYou see, while the plank is an excellent exercise it is quality and tension (engaging your muscles), rather than time, that should be your primary focus. When Hood stays in the plank position for hours, he’s trying to make it as easy as possible and minimize the demand on his muscles. You, on the other hand, are looking to give your abs and overall midsection a short, sharp challenge.\r\n\r\nBenefits of Planking\r\n\r\n1. Stabilize and Strengthen Core Muscles\r\n“The plank is a great exercise to help strengthen and stabilize your core muscles,” says Aran Quinn, a coach at W10 Performance. “A strong core is important for providing the body with the strength and stability to perform well in the gym or when going for a run.”\r\n2. Improves Performance in Other Workouts and Sports\r\nIt’s also not something you should sidestep, even if you’re only working out to grow your guns. “Core stiffness, which is also referred to as core strength, is vital for preventing injury and improving performance whatever your goals,” says Quinn.\r\n3. Reduces Risk of Injuries\r\nThat’s backed up by a study published in the German journal Sportverletz Sportschaden, which looked at male adult soccer players and found that “programs including strengthening exercises for core muscles tend to positively affect the injury rate.” Of course, it’s not just sportsmen who stand to benefit. “Even from a non-athletic point of view, having a strong core helps with postural issues such as lower back pain, which is particularly prevalent in people who have desk jobs,” says Quinn.\r\n4. Beneficial for Back Pain\r\nIf your job does involve a lot of sitting then, unless you’ve been following the George Hood planking plan, there’s a good chance that your midsection needs a bit of work. “For pretty much every client I work with their core is their weak link,” says former strongman champion and owner of Spartan Performance, Jack Lovett. “Sure, the plank looks basic, but if performed correctly basic does not equate to easy. I encourage clients to push their forearms hard into the floor, squeeze their glutes hard, and create tension throughout the body. I am less interested in time held and more focused on how hard the client squeezes. Tension is key to developing strength endurance in static positions.”\r\nRELATED: Should You Start Doing Push-Ups Every Day\r\n\r\nNailing the Perfect Plank Form\r\n\r\nAce your plank technique to sculpt a strong core, with advice from Joe Warner, co-founder of New Body Plan.\r\n\r\n\r\n\tFirst, position yourself so that you are face down, with your elbows and feet shoulder-width apart, support your weight between your toes and your forearms, which should be at a 45-degree angle to the elbows.\r\n\tTry to pull your elbows, shoulder blades, and forearms together while maintaining a rigid plank position. At the same time, aim to pull your arms and elbows down and your toes up.\r\n\tIdeally, your body should be level but your upper-body could also be slightly higher (up to a few inches) because that will engage the core rather than stress the lower back.\r\n\tHold this position and keep your breathing relaxed.\r\n\r\n\r\nHow Often Should You Be Doing Planks?\r\n\r\nOK, so you now know the benefits of planking, and you know how to do it with flawless technique but how should you weave it into your training schedule, and how often should you be doing planks, is every day OK?\r\n“The plank is an exercise you can do more frequently than big compound, multi-joint dynamic exercises such as squats, deadlifts, and bench presses,” says Warner. “There’s no reason why you can’t add a plank variation to the end of any workout, [any day]. The reason I suggest doing them at the end of a workout is because they challenge the postural muscles that support the spine. You don’t want to fatigue them early in the workout because you’ll be inviting injury when you call on them to stabilize your trunk during a big lift such as the shoulder press. I recommend using different variations because they each give you slightly different benefits, so you’ll build better all-around strength.”\r\nThe good news is that you don’t have to trouble the folks at Guinness World Records to achieve a sweat-scorching plank workout. “I give my clients a target of being able to hold the plank for 60 to 90 seconds but it is more important that you learn to brace your core and maintain that brace,” says Lovett.\r\n“I like doing an abs mini-circuit at the end of a session,” says Warner. “You could select one move for your upper abs, such as a crunch, one for your lower abs, such as a hanging knee raise, and one static hold, such as a plank. Do 10 reps each of the first two moves, hold the plank for 60 seconds, rest for 60 seconds, and repeat that two more times. You can also do that kind of mini circuit as a bonus abs workout on rest days.”\r\nRELATED: Best Ab Rollers\r\n\r\nCommon Plank Mistakes\r\n\r\nThe consequences of a poorly-performed plank might not be as serious as a dodgy deadlift but that doesn’t mean you should be complacent. There are two key things that experts say you should watch out for. The first is the start position. Since the plank is a static move if you set up incorrectly then your entire set is flawed. The second is the point at which you begin to fatigue, that’s when you’re likely to get pulled out of position.\r\n“The two most common mistakes I see with the plank tend to be sagging of the hips and arching of the back,” says Quinn. “These two technique mishaps are going to create too much tension in the lower back and could lead to injury.”\r\nTo avoid this, Quinn recommends you “tuck your tailbone under, so that it has a slight posterior rotation, to create the required tension in the abdominals.” Basically, there’s no point sacrificing form in the pursuit of a few extra seconds. After all, you’re not trying to break any records. And as we’ve already established, that’s possibly no bad thing.\r\n\r\nPlank Variations\r\n\r\nNow that you know the ins and outs of planking, throw these trainer-approved plank variations into your workout mix to get a more rounded core benefit.\r\nDecline Plank\r\nWhy do it: “When you elevate your feet you increase the load on your abs, making the move harder,” says Warner. “If you want to make it really hard, try putting your feet in the straps of a suspension training device.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tGet into a press-up position with your forearms on the floor and your feet on a raised surface (think a bench or a couch) – about a foot off the floor is ideal.\r\n\tKeep your body completely straight and don’t let your hips sag.\r\n\r\nSide Plank\r\nWhy do it: “Positioning yourself on your side makes the move harder and also really challenges the obliques (side abs),” says Warner.\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tLie on your side and position one elbow on the floor directly below your shoulder with your forearm flat on the floor.\r\n\tStack one foot on top of the other then raise your hips off the ground so your body is in a straight line from head to heels.\r\n\tKeep your free arm flat to your side.\r\n\tBrace your abs to hold that position and try to keep your head in a neutral position.\r\n\tOnce you have completed the allocated time on one side, swap sides, and repeat the move.\r\n\r\nSide Plank Star\r\nWhy do it: “This is a progression from the side plank and will really test your balance as well as your core strength,” says Warner.\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tGet into the side plank position then raise one arm and one leg.\r\n\tBrace your abs to hold that position and try to keep your head in a neutral position.\r\n\tOnce you have completed the allocated time on one side, swap sides and repeat the move.\r\n\r\n\r\nAdvanced Plank Progressions\r\n\r\nYou’ve mastered the plank basics, now it’s time to get serious with these advanced variations.\r\n\r\n\r\nPlank Kettlebell Drag-Throughs\r\nWhy do it: “This is a great way to add an extra bit of oomph to your plank,” says Quinn. “The trick is to create enough tension so you don’t twist your hips when dragging the kettlebell through. This ticks an anti-rotation box - the ability to resist rotation is just as important as creating a rotational movement - and it requires you to switch on your glutes.”\r\nHow to do it: \r\n\r\n\tStart by getting into the top of a push-up position, with your body in a straight line, your arms straight, and your hands directly below your shoulders.\r\n\tPosition a kettlebell to one side of your body.\r\n\tReach underneath your body with the hand that’s furthest away from the kettlebell and drag the weight across and under your body and out to the other side.\r\n\tReplace that hand on the floor and repeat the move with the other hand, dragging the weight through to the opposite side.\r\n\r\nRKC Plank\r\nWhy do it: “You don't need to hold this movement for long to feel it working,” says Quinn. “The idea is to squeeze every muscle in the body and create as much tension as possible. You should be shaking like a leaf and you only need to hold this one for around 10 to 15 seconds at a time.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStart in the standard plank position but with your hands clasped together.\r\n\tContract your quads and glutes as hard as possible.\r\n\tCreate a slight posterior rotation of the pelvis by tucking your pelvis under your body.\r\n\tPress your forearms into the floor and contract your abdominals as hard as possible.\r\n\tTry to maintain a normal breathing pattern.\r\n\r\nSingle Arm Plank\r\nWhy do it: “This is another variation that you don't need to hold for long - think 15 to 30 seconds for each arm,” says Quinn. “Because you’re only using one arm (you need to push your supporting hand as hard as you can into the floor), you are only on three points of contact so you really need to squeeze everything hard to ensure you do it with correct technique. Make sure that your hips are square and avoid rotating them to counteract the challenge.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tGet into a conventional plank position and contract your abs before placing one hand at the side of your body so that you are only balancing on one forearm.\r\n\tHold that position and resist the urge to rotate your body or your hips.\r\n\tYou can make the move slightly easier by increasing the width between your feet.\r\n\r\nIf you’re struggling a little, look to this alternative...\r\nPush-up Planks\r\nWhy do it: If you’re struggling to get to 30 seconds in a conventional plank, then make the move slightly easier by doing a push-up variation. “Usually I see people fail in push-ups because they start to drop their hips, and their core usually burns out before their chest, triceps, and shoulders do,” says Lovett. “Using the press-up plank I get clients to keep their hips high to engage the core. We’re aiming to be able to hold the position for up to two minutes. After all, if you can’t hold a push-up plank for 30 seconds, how many push-ups do you think you’re going to be able to do?”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStart by getting into the top of a push-up position, with your body in a straight line, your arms straight and your hands directly below your shoulders.\r\n\tContract your abs and hold that position, aiming for at least 30 seconds.\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Benefits of Hybrid Training\r\n\tSimple Diet Changes for Easy Weight Loss\r\n\tHow Often Should You Work Out Your Abs", "keywords": "Why, You, Should, Start, Planking, Daily, and, the, Best, Plank, Variations", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/why-you-should-start-planking-daily/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1761660639.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/why-you-should-start-planking-daily.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:42:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106348", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Fitness Gifts for Any Exercise Fanatic", "title_slug": "best-fitness-gifts-for-any-exercise-fanatic", "title_hash": "2e4166792408e1b8c79f92ec8f543d75", "summary": "Gear, Supplements, Clothing & Equipment for the Gym Bro, Wellness Buff or Athlete in Your Life", "content": "While fitness-related gifts, such as the latest fitness tracker or sweat-wicking workout shirt, have always been great Christmas present options, this year the gifting genre is poised to take the spotlight once again. \r\nWith so many more folks finding their fit at home and in the outdoors these days, the at-home exercise equipment market is offering up some of the best fitness gear we've seen in a long time. (And, even better, the price tags on them are no longer through the roof like they were at the height of the pandemic.) So if the fit guy on your list is in need of some new gear, you've definitely come to the right place.\r\nRELATED: Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Men\r\nWe've rounded up some of the best fitness gifts you can get, from weights and sweat-ready wardrobe essentials to high tech equipment and meditation tools. Whatever kind of workout he's into, there is a whole slew of wellness and fitness gifts for men on the market hitting a wide variety of price points and interests. These are just a few (dozen!) of our favorite picks.\r\n\r\nFitness Gift Ideas for Men\r\n\r\nHurdle Ankle Socks\r\n\r\nAthletes know that all socks are not created equal, so if you want to make the runner, athlete or workout enthusiast in your life happy, give them these ultra-durable ankle socks from Hurdle. Their proprietary fabric offers incredible support and cushioning, making chaffing and blisters a thing of the past, while the thin, breathable design and infusion of antimicrobial properties means you can sweat in these without stinking up your shoes. \r\n$18.95 at HurdleApparel.com\r\nReebok Smart Ring\r\n\r\n\r\nReebok may be a late entrant to the wearable tech category, but they're making a big splash with their Smart Ring. Lightweight and unobtrusive, and boasting up to seven days of battery life on a single charge, the Smart Ring tracks all the core health metrics we've come to expect, from steps and heart rate to skin temperature and blood oxygen levels, with subjective scores assigned for sleep quality and stress levels. To show its capabilities, Reebok is launching the Smart Ring in a partnership with F45 Training, so fans of these group classes will better be able to track their workouts and assess their recovery.\r\n$249 at Reebok.com\r\nGHOST® Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Bars\r\n\r\nIt was only a matter of time before one of the most popular supplement companies on the Internet ventured into the world of protein bars, but in customary GHOST fashion, they waited to perfect the formula before the big reveal. Each one of these delicious bars (also available in Chocolate Caramel and Choco Chip Cookie Dough flavors) delivers 20 grams of protein and just two grams of sugar, with a flavor profile closer to your favorite candy bar. Yeah, we'd say these are a clear winner, and a gift every fitness fanatic would be thrilled to receive.\r\n$29.99 at GNC.com\r\nNOBULL Outward Edge (Impact)\r\n\r\n\r\nWhen it comes to workouts, everything begins at the feet, which is why having a durable, high-performing shoe is a non-negotiable. NOBULL have been known for years as makers of some of the toughest weightlifting and high-performance footwear out there, but if you happen to have a friend who hasn't had the pleasure of training in their stunning, supportive shoes, pick them up a pair of their Impact training shoes, available in seven color options. Not only do we guarantee these shoes will be a welcome upgrade for your friend's workouts, but they'll love the styling as well.\r\n$220 at NOBULLProject.com \r\nHayabusa T3 Boxing Gloves\r\n\r\nYou don't actually have to enter a ring to get in a boxing workout, but whether you're sparring with a friend or working a heavy bag, it helps to have a comfortable, fitted and stylish pair of gloves to help protect your hands. The T3 Boxing Gloves from Hayabusa offer phenomenal wrist support, a clever interlocking strap design to lock in the fit, and splinted support to ensure proper wrist alignment and prevent injury. More proof they've thought of everything? There's microfiber on the thumb, allowing you to wipe away sweat between rounds. Whether you're shopping for a combat sport athlete or an enthusiast who likes to train like a boxer, they'll love these high-performing gloves.\r\n$169 at HayabusaFight.com \r\nHydro Flask Water Bottle with Straw Lid, 32 oz\r\n\r\nWe don’t need to tell you that staying hydrated is key before, during, and after a workout. This becomes a lot easier with a Hydro Flask reusable water bottle that'll keep your beverage of choice chilled for HOURS. Besides a wide selection of great colors, it also boasts a wide mouth so it can easily be filled with ice and an easy-flip straw lid for one-handed drinking.\r\n$49.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTriggerPoint Foam Roller\r\n\r\nOnce you’ve foam rolled, you’ll never go back. Whether for stretching out sore muscles or fixing your posture after a long day sitting at a desk, a foam roller is a game changer for general wellness.\r\n$39.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPublic Rec Flex Short\r\n\r\nThe Flex Shorts from Public Rec might as well be short for \"flexibility,\" because you can take these highly versatile anywhere, including the beach. The elastic waistband and deep front pockets make them super practical, while the massive list of on-site customization options – three inseam lengths, nine waist sizes, nine colors and the option to include a mesh liner – all make these the perfect shorts for fitness-minded men of all sizes. \r\n$60 at PublicRec.com\r\nKane Revive Active Recovery Shoe\r\n\r\nActive recovery has become all the rage in the fitness industry, and for good reason: there are better ways to recover from a hard workout than passing out on the couch. At Kane Footwear, they know that \"movement is medicine,\" and their Kane Revive shoes prove them right. Lightweight and ventilated, with a ridged interior to promote blood flow, these shoes help you walk your way to recovery and better health. \r\n$80 at KaneFootwear.com \r\nBowflex SelectTech 840 Kettlebell\r\n\r\nWhy clutter up the home gym with a set of kettlebells when you can opt for this space-saving six-in-one option? With the simple turn of its dial, he can adjust the resistance from 8 pounds up to 40 pounds. It's quick and easy, so he can go from one exercise to the next without losing his momentum — perfect for CrossFit and other HIIT workouts. Best of all, its ergonomic handle makes it comfortable to grip and lift with each and every move.\r\n$149 at Amazon.com\r\nKizik Athens 2 \r\n\r\n\r\nFootwear brand Kizik has taken comfort and practicality to the next level with their Athens 2 shoe. Available in nine colors and featuring premium comfort touches like a padded collar, high-rebound EVA insole, and an engineered mesh upper for better breathability, it's the perfect daily wear option for active dudes, who will most appreciate the collapsible heel that makes slipping these on a breeze.\r\n$139 at Kizik.com \r\nSmartwool PhD Men’s Run Elite Performance Sock\r\n\r\nThe avid runner on your gifting list is sure to appreciate this pair of premium wool socks thanks to their superior impact protection and targeted cushioning at the ball and the heel. Lightweight with strategically placed vents for optimal moisture and temperature management, each stride will have him feel as if he's gliding on air. (Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic, but these low-cut socks will definitely make his workouts a lot more enjoyable for his feet.)\r\nFrom $21 at Amazon.com\r\nFULFIL Nutrition Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Bars\r\n\r\n\r\nAn easy gift for any fitness enthusiast, these delicious chocolate & peanut butter protein bars from FULFIL Nutrition deliver 15 grams of protein per bar with just 3 grams of net carbs, making them great on-the-go grabs or pre-workout snacks. They're available in a wide range of delicious flavors as well, including Chocolate Hazelnut and Chocolate Salted Caramel, plus a variety pack box so you can let your friend sample every option. \r\n$39 at Amazon.com \r\nSKLZ Quick Ladder\r\n\r\nSometimes it’s the most affordable and simple gifts that make the biggest splash. Case in point, this agility training ladder. Set up in the backyard, the park, or the garage, this 15-foot-long ladder will allow him to work on his speed and agility while bringing some fun to his workout routine.\r\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Gift Ideas for Girlfriends\r\n\r\nOPTP Original Stretch Out Strap\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nFlexibility is key to aging gracefully and in good health, but it’s one of the most overlooked habits. Help him improve in this area with the Stretch Out Strap. The elastic design enables a highly effective contract-relax stretch which helps support muscle groups like the gastroc, rectus femoris, soleus, and hamstrings.\r\n$17.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTOLOCO Massage Gun\r\n\r\n\r\nSore muscles are the price you pay for living an active life, but you can ease the pain and tension with the F1Pro Deep Tissue Massage Gun. With six distinct attachments and three speed settings, it's easy to find the perfect pace to break up knots and promote blood flow, speeding up the recovery process. And because it weighs under two pounds, you can toss it in your gym bag and take it wherever you go.\r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com \r\nFit Simplify Resistance Loop Exercise Bands\r\n\r\nThe perfect stocking stuffer for the fitness enthusiast on your list. Resistance bands might not look like much, but when used properly, they’ll leave the muscles aching just as much as a bench press could.\r\nFrom $9.98 at Amazon.com\r\nJanji Rainrunner Pack Jacket\r\n\r\nBundle up and face the elements in a piece of apparel that'll never let you down. Janji's Rainrunner Pack Jacket provides total protection while still being light and breathable with 360º core ventilation. Its minimalist design, along with three color options — cardinal, jasper, obsidian — leave it as the perfect addition for any athlete without constricting their movements.\r\nAnd if you do go the Janji route, 2% of proceeds from the purchase will be donated in support of various clean water projects \"in the countries that inspire each of their seasonal collections.\"\r\n$208 at Janji.com\r\nlululemon Zeroed In Slim-Fit Fleece Pant\r\n\r\n\r\nIf it’s getting a little too cool in your area to rock gym shorts in the great outdoors, it’s time he switched to the Zeroed In Slim-Fit Fleece Pant. Not the typical sweatpants or jogger, these are made from an abrasion-resistant poly fabric that's both supremely comfortable and extremely durable. The slim fit is made to show off your hard work in the gym, especially around the glutes and thighs, while a zippered side pocket and hidden phone pocket add to the practicality.\r\n$118 at lululemon.com\r\nProsourceFit Puzzle Exercise Mat\r\n\r\nSomething people often forget to do when creating a home gym with larger pieces of exercise equipment and weights is to prepare their floors. With these mats, he will not only have a supportive, easy-to-clean surface to stretch and work out on, but his fitness gear won’t ruin the floor or create too much noise, either.\r\n$25.99 at Walmart.com\r\nVital Vitamins Multi Collagen Complex\r\n\r\nNot every supplement has to be designed to make you stronger or faster. In fact, the most necessary ones target general health, and few supplements have received greater attention in recent years than collagen. This Multi Collagen Complex from Vital Vitamins contains Type I,II, III, V & X, sourcing its ingredients from the healthiest organic options, including grass-fed beef, chicken broth and eggshells. The result is a potent vitality-promoting, skin-saving supplement that would make anyone smile to receive it as a gift.\r\n$25.95 at Amazon.com \r\nWOD Nation Speed Jump Rope\r\n\r\nA jump rope can be the easiest way to stay fit wherever you are. This model is adjustable so he can alter the rope to suit his height and skill level and it is lightweight to allow for speedy skipping. It's a great endurance workout, especially for those into boxing, MMA, and martial arts.\r\n$18.99 at Amazon.com\r\nApple Watch 11\r\n\r\nIf he’s more interested in a basic pedometer, you probably shouldn't spring for an Apple Watch. However, if he’s looking for a high-tech gadget to keep tabs on his health (heart rate, sleep, blood oxygen levels) and fitness (calorie counts, distance traveled), all while offering access to music streaming apps, incoming calls, and messages, then this luxury gift is a great idea.\r\n$389 at Amazon.com\r\nThe Ergatta Rower \r\n\r\nA rowing machine is a phenomenal home workout, taking up very little space but still allowing you to get a heart-pumping workout in that doesn't put strain on your joints the way a treadmill does. And the Ergatta Rower is one of the most beautiful and effective we've seen, using a games-based workout and intelligent algorithm to calibrate workout difficulty to the level of the user. \r\n$2,099 at Ergatta.com \r\nBern Hendrix Winter Helmet\r\n\r\nWe're about to enter ski and snowboard season, so why not give your mountain-loving friend a stylish way to keep their head safe as they take on the slopes? Bern makes some of the most beautiful and durable protective headgear we've seen, and the Hendrix Winter Helmet, available in multiple colors, is a perfect example.\r\n$169 at BernHelmets.com \r\nHeadSpace App\r\n\r\nNo matter if he's trying to sleep better or just learning to tap into better mindfulness and meditation habits, the Headspace app is up for the job. On top of new guided meditations released each day, it is filled with sleep exercises and routines to help him wind down at night.\r\n$12.99/month or $69.99/year at HeadSpace.com\r\nNice C Adjustable Dumbbell Barbell Weight Pair\r\n\r\nWho needs a weight rack when you can pack all the weights into one adjustable dumbbell, right? This space-saving and affordable option comes highly recommended from reviewers. The lowest weight he can adjust each dumbbell to is 0.6 pounds, the highest weight is 33 pounds, and when set up as a barbell, they come together to weigh in at 66 pounds.\r\nFrom $55.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig\r\n\r\n\tStocking Stuffers for Men\r\n\tUnique Christmas Gift Ideas\r\n\tLast-Minute Christmas Gifts", "keywords": "Best, Fitness, Gifts, for, Any, Exercise, Fanatic", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/gift-ideas-for-the-wellness-buff/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1761576266.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/gift-ideas-for-the-wellness-buff.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:42:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106181", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Gave My Husband A Shop To Manage And He ‘Shopped’ The Ladies There", "title_slug": "i-gave-my-husband-a-shop-to-manage-and-he-shopped-the-ladies-there", "title_hash": "d16fb375a2e947f5ec02b236b1796234", "summary": "My husband resigned from work, saying he had an opportunity to travel to Canada where a job and accommodation were assured. As to how he came by that opportunity, he …", "content": "

My husband resigned from work, saying he had an opportunity to travel to Canada where a job and accommodation were assured. As to how he came by that opportunity, he didn’t tell me. He told me when he had only a few weeks left before leaving the country. He sold personal items to pay for the trip; he sold his car cheaply and a few other things. He was happy and asked me to pray for him.

The day he was leaving, we held hands and I prayed for him and wished him a safe journey. The kids, two of them, didn’t really understand what was happening, but they joined the prayers and we all bid him goodbye.

Two days later, I had a call from him: “The one taking us to Canada brought us to Côte d’Ivoire and left us here. He said he’s bringing more people from Nigeria to join us before we go.” I said, “Hmmm, I’m not feeling well about this. So how long are you going to be there?” He answered, “He assured us it would be a few days.”

One month later, my husband was still stuck in Côte d’Ivoire. According to him, some of the people had already returned to Ghana. I asked him to come home too, but he said he still had some trust left that it was going to work. It took him six months to finally agree to come back home. By then, they hadn’t been able to reach the connection man for over a month.

He was ashamed to have been scammed on such a large scale. He asked where he was going to start again in life. I assured him all was not lost and that he should come home. He had used his life’s savings to travel to Canada, but he didn’t even see the airplane.

Finding another job became very hard for him, so I suggested he manage a shop my mother left to me and my sister. My sister didn’t have any interest in the shop, so I was the only one investing in it. We had two shop attendants who were stealing and mismanaging the shop. He didn’t want to. It took me weeks to finally convince him to do it. “You’re not the one going to sell. You’re going to manage the ladies so we make a profit from the shop.”

For the first time in many years, we made a huge profit in the first month he worked there. I said, “Let’s sack these girls. So they were making this much money from the shop and sitting on it?” He didn’t agree with me. He said he was going to manage them and ensure they didn’t steal again.

Three months later, one of the girls left the shop without telling anyone. According to my husband, she stopped going to work and didn’t pick anyone’s calls. So we had to employ another lady. The other lady who remained had been giving my husband a lot of problems, so I suggested we sack her and bring in a new one. My husband agreed. When he told the lady she had been sacked, she called me.

I enumerated everything my husband had told me she had done, but she denied everything. She said, “Madam, there’s so much happening that I can’t say. I was working. I worked my heart out, but your husband had a problem with me because of one thing.” When I asked what that was, she said she wouldn’t say but that I shouldn’t sack her.

My intuition kicked in, so I played it calmly with her until she finally told me, “He wanted to sleep with me and I didn’t agree. That was when the hatred started.” I asked, “So you mean the other girl allowed it, that’s why he didn’t hate her?”

She narrated the whole story and even told me the girl disappeared because she was pregnant. My heart sank. I asked my husband about it, and he denied everything. He said, “She’s bitter we are sacking her; that’s why she’s leveling all those accusations. Me? How can I stoop that low?”

We ended up sacking the lady anyway and employed two new staff. I went to the shop often, sometimes with the kids, and stayed until closing. It was affecting the kids, so I withdrew a little but not totally. I passed by there once in a while.

I went to the shop one day and one of the girls wasn’t around. It was the second time that week she wasn’t there. When I asked my husband, he said the girl was on leave. “Leave? Since when did you start giving them leave?” He said the girl had asked for it to go and attend to her sick mom. I had the lady’s number, so I called her. She told me she had stopped the work and wasn’t on any leave.

I asked the other lady questions, and she revealed the girl left because she was pregnant. I screamed, “Another pregnancy?”

I had a lengthy conversation with this lady, and she told me everything: how my husband stayed behind with the other lady after closing and sometimes left with her in the same car. She said, “The pregnancy is his; the girl confessed to me.”

I started digging into the first lady who had left. She had already delivered, and the child was four months old. I checked his phone and read messages. The new pregnant lady had sent long voice notes demanding money. She didn’t mention the pregnancy, but it was obvious. I chatted with her using my husband’s phone, asking about the pregnancy and how the child was doing. She asked, “When are you coming again to visit us?”

I went to the shop one late evening and changed the locks. When he got there the next morning and called to ask why, I told him, “Don’t come home again because I’m changing the locks to the door too. Go and stay with those girls you impregnated.”

He thought it was a joke, but that day he slept outside. He came in the morning asking what had come over me. I said, “You have the audacity to ask me that question? You, who have been impregnating ladies left and right?” He denied knowledge of them until I called his parents and told them I was divorcing him. He confessed to his parents that the children from those ladies were indeed his, but he didn’t know what came over him.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

I said, “What came over him should remain with him because I’m done with the marriage.”

Three months ago, we finalized the divorce. He’s still not working, and he better not work again in his life because once he does, he’s going to pay for everything child support, even if it’s for a pin. If he’s man enough to have many children, he should be man enough to cater for all of them.

—Gina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Gave, Husband, Shop, Manage, And, ‘Shopped’, The, Ladies, There", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/30686.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-gave-my-husband-a-shop-to-manage-and-he-shopped-the-ladies-there/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:34:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106180", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Little Misunderstanding Cost Me My Relationship", "title_slug": "a-little-misunderstanding-cost-me-my-relationship", "title_hash": "1e936bdae5bb058cc2852e21dd147b33", "summary": "The father of my three-month-old child and I got into a misunderstanding recently. Things escalated in ways I didn’t see coming. I didn’t even think it was an issue that …", "content": "

The father of my three-month-old child and I got into a misunderstanding recently. Things escalated in ways I didn’t see coming. I didn’t even think it was an issue that would get out of hand. Now he is saying he is no longer interested in being with me.

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I have tried to get him to be on the same page with me so we can resolve the problem and fix what is broken. He won’t do it. He is not open to even talking to me.

I am hurt at how determined he is to move on from me. It’s as if I never meant anything to him. It’s making me feel lonely. I am even wondering if he had been waiting for the chance to leave me all along.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

I am trying to be strong for our baby but it’s hard for me to cope. Every day is a battle that leaves me feeling defeated. I thought we were going to raise this child together as a family. Now I’m here trying to navigate this new reality as a new mum while dealing with this heartbreak.

I want to know how long this feeling is going to last. The mums here who are separated from the father of your children, how are you able to show up strong despite how hard it is? I want to put myself together and face this painful reality.

—Soraya

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", "keywords": ", Little, Misunderstanding, Cost, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9938.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/a-little-misunderstanding-cost-me-my-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:34:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106178", "lang_id": "1", "title": "If I Choose This Marriage, My Uncle Will Never Help Me Again (Part 2)", "title_slug": "if-i-choose-this-marriage-my-uncle-will-never-help-me-again-part-2", "title_hash": "d5e6f74e062546a6473ec143564b8636", "summary": "If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one. After sharing my story, a lot of people got angry. …", "content": "

If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
\n

After sharing my story, a lot of people got angry. Some even said I should rather connect them to my uncle so he could help them instead of wasting his resources on me. Others advised that I should leave my man. It’s easier said than done. I accepted every comment with calm because I knew none of them had walked in my shoes.

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When I was broke and had nothing to eat, this same man was there for me. I appreciate everything he has done for me. Despite all the pain and disappointment, I’ve always had a soft spot for his kindness.

After giving it a lot of thought, I called my uncle and assured him that I was ready to travel. He began the process immediately. Later, I called Koo so we could have an honest conversation about it. He accepted my decision and said that whatever I wanted to do, he would always be there to support me.

Our communication became less frequent after that, but he never stopped sending me money every month.

Four months passed, and I hadn’t heard from my uncle. Then one day, Koo called to tell me he had applied for a Canadian visa. He said he wanted to use me as his wife for the process, so I should come and sign the court certificate. I told him to give me a week to think about it.

I prayed about it but didn’t tell anyone. A week later, I agreed and signed the paperwork. Three months after that, his visa was approved.

When I finally informed my mum, she called my uncle as well. My uncle was very angry at first, but after speaking with my man, he calmed down.

To cut a long story short, when we arrived at Toronto Pearson International Airport, we got stranded. The person who was supposed to pick us up never showed up. The company address on the documents turned out to be fake. We used the little money we had to book a hotel for the night.

The next morning, we called my uncle and explained everything to him. He quickly reached out to a friend who helped us return to Ghana after spending two frustrating weeks there. Upon our return, the agent who had arranged the whole connection for Koo was nowhere to be found.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

Through it all, my uncle stood by us. The good news is that he didn’t cancel my own travel process. In fact, they continued working on it even while I was away.

We’re now back in Ghana. I am on good terms with my family and my relationship is still thriving and. I’m praying that things work out for the best, for both of us. Hopefully, I’ll hear good news from my uncle very soon. Thank you everyone for your counsel.

—Yvonne

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", "keywords": ", Choose, This, Marriage, Uncle, Will, Never, Help, Again, Part", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9939.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/if-i-choose-this-marriage-my-uncle-will-never-help-me-again-part-2/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:34:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "106179", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Best Friend Tried to Reach Me Before She Died But I Was Asleep", "title_slug": "my-best-friend-tried-to-reach-me-before-she-died-but-i-was-asleep", "title_hash": "a05b5ab74b14faf68ad058e6c7a4ce31", "summary": "Akua was my best friend. My sister in every way that mattered. We ate together, laughed together, shared good times and bad, and shared secrets and dreams. For 20 years, …", "content": "

Akua was my best friend. My sister in every way that mattered. We ate together, laughed together, shared good times and bad, and shared secrets and dreams. For 20 years, we were tied at the waist. That’s how deep our bond was.

She knew me better than most people ever will. And I thought I knew her just as well.

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On Monday night, she called me. It was close to midnight. I was fast asleep, but the phone kept ringing and woke me up. Just as I reached for it, the call dropped. Her name flashed on the screen: Akua. I checked the time. It was almost midnight. I told myself I’d call her back the next day.

By morning, I had forgotten all about it. I went about my day as usual. Later that afternoon, when I finally remembered, I dialled her number. It rang and rang. No one picked up. I didn’t think much of it. We were two adults with busy lives. I figured she was caught up and would get back to me.

But she didn’t. That whole day, I heard nothing from her.

On Tuesday, I sent her a message. No reply. No reaction. That’s when I started to feel uneasy. Where was she? Why wasn’t she responding? I didn’t understand.

Then, around midday on Wednesday, a message came from her phone.

“Akua is dead.”

I screamed. “Jesus!” My hands were shaky, and my eyes filled with tears in a second. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I typed back with trembling fingers, “Who is this, please?”

A voice note came through.

“Afia, it’s me, Kukuwa. I have Akua’s phone. I’m at the hospital, returning her medication and paying for her pills so they can issue the death certificate.”

I dropped to the floor and cried until my voice broke and my chest was hurting me so much. I held the phone in my hands and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t believe it. I kept asking the empty room, “Akua, where were you going? Why didn’t you wait for me? Why didn’t I answer that call?”

Of all the things troubling me, one question won’t let me rest. Why didn’t I pick up her call that night? Was it her final goodbye? Was she trying to tell me something? Was she scared? Was she in pain?

I went through our old chats, and each message felt like a knife, so many memories, so much love, so many plans we made that will never happen now.

Let me tell you what happened…

Years ago, Akua made a decision that changed everything. She got pregnant, and we were only 19. We were scared; we were still in school, and the boy she was dating was trouble. I never liked him, and I never trusted him.

She called me crying, and I scolded her like a mother would. But I rushed to see her, and she was terrified. I told her to keep the baby, and I promised to help her talk to her parents. I was so involved, so much so that we made plans to travel to her hometown the next day and face them together.

But when I arrived, she said she couldn’t go. That boy had convinced her to abort the baby, and he brought some concoction he swore would work. She trusted him, and she believed he wouldn’t lie to her. But it wasn’t safe, and it wasn’t done properly.

She was already bleeding, so I begged her to go to the hospital. She said her body would sort itself out, and I walked away angry because I didn’t understand what she meant by “her body would sort itself out.” I didn’t speak to her for days.

To make things worse, the boy left her without a word. He didn’t even pretend to care.

Eventually, we made peace, and we forgave each other. But the damage was done. Her body never healed, and her health never fully recovered.

Akua was 37 when she died. No husband. No child. She often told me she felt unlucky, even cursed. I reminded her that God’s time is the best, and I told her her blessings were still coming. But deep down, I knew she was tired.

When the pain got worse, I kept urging her to go to the hospital. She was scared of the bills, and I was scared of losing her.

When she finally went, they diagnosed her with endometriosis. The doctors removed her fallopian tubes, and her only chance of having a child was through IVF. But it was too expensive, and she was devastated. I told her not to worry, because her health mattered more than anything else.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

We thought the worst was behind us, but then the pathology results came back. They found cancer. The doctors planned chemotherapy, but complications from the surgery sent her back to the hospital. This time, she didn’t make it back home.

When I say Akua loved life, I mean it. She loved to laugh, she loved to dream, and she loved deeply. She was full of fire, full of hope, full of stories.

But death came too soon, too fast, and far too cruel.

Now, all I have are memories and a heart full of sorrow that refuses to go away.

What makes it harder is knowing that her ex-boyfriend, the one who gave her that deadly concoction, the one who left her bleeding and broken, is still alive. He is out there living his best life, married with a family, raising a child of his own, while Akua lies frozen in the mortuary, waiting to be buried. Life is not fair, and sometimes it feels unbearably cruel.

All I know is this: no boyfriend is worth your life. No relationship is worth your health. No man is worth dying for. Guard your body and protect your future. It is all you have. Do not let any man convince you to do something that will haunt you forever.

That midnight call haunts me. I replay it in my mind every single day. What if I had picked up? What would she have said? Would she still be here?

I miss you, Akua. I wish I had answered that call. I wish we had more time. I wish I could tell you one more time how much you meant to me.

But most of all, I wish you had known, truly known, how deeply you were loved.

Rest in peace, my sister, my friend, my Akua.

—Yaa

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So, at the talking stage, he told me he was looking for a lady who hadn’t been intimate before. I asked if he himself was “green,” and he said no, but all the women he had dated ended up leaving him because of his size.

I was like, “Oh really?”
\n“Yeah, that’s why I’m looking for a woman who hasn’t done it before. She’ll take me as I am.”

I told him I didn’t mind because size didn’t matter. “Big or small, it can make babies, so no need to worry.”

I liked him because he was honest and genuine. He told crazy jokes that made me laugh, mostly about himself. The fact that he didn’t take himself seriously made me want to be with him. Plus, he was a generous man.

He wanted to dwell on the size thing to make me understand what I was signing up for, but I told him not to waste his time. “I admire a big heart, and you have it,” I told him. “Why should I let a good man go because of size?”

He retorted, “Herrh, you’re the real G.” I responded, “Thank you for being honest about yourself. It makes me honest too.”

The confidence I gave him made his insecurities go away. He could be himself with me so much that he wasn’t worried about appearing before me in his boxer shorts. I liked it. He was well-built for his frame. He said, “You see what I’m talking about?”

He showed me what was inside his boxers, and my heart sank. I didn’t know where the words came from when I said, “Oh, when you said it’s small, you meant *this* small?” He said, “Now you’ve seen it. That’s all I have.”

He reached out for a kiss, but I couldn’t take my mind off what I had just seen. “Is that all? A man this tall? Or did some sickness eat it from the inside?” I couldn’t help but think I could only hold it if I placed it between my thumb and index finger. Eiiish, there’s ‘small,’ and there’s ‘smaaal,’ but his is ‘smaaaaaal.’

I asked him, “Did I tell you I’m not a virgin?”
\n“Yeah, you did, but you said you won’t cheat, so it’s fine with me.”
\n“Oh, I’ll cheat. I lied. I’ll cheat, trust me,” I responded.

I’m a very honest and straightforward person, but my straightforwardness that day shocked me. It was automatic. Involuntary. I just didn’t want to see that again. He said, “Thank you for being honest,” and we parted. I got home and realized my mistake. I was too blunt and insensitive in the way I handled things, so I decided to call and apologize.

He didn’t pick up my calls and went ahead to block my number. I felt so bad knowing I’d hurt his feelings. I’ve sent him a message. I don’t know if he read it.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

Kwame Mighty, if you’re reading this, or when you come across this story, it’s me saying I’m sorry for the way I handled things. I was a fool. I’m an idiot for saying it the way I did. All hope is not lost. You’ll find your size, someone who won’t cheat, and I want to let you know that I’m here praying for you. God will drop your kind of woman right in front of you someday. Continue being an awesome person.

—Abigail

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******

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The Trump administration is playing a game of carrot-and-stick diplomacy with higher education.

Earlier this year, the administration withheld billions in federal funding and grants from some of the most elite colleges and universities in the United States for allegedly fostering campus cultures rife with antisemitism and left-wing ideologies. Now, the White House is attempting to change its tune by offering universities roles as collaborators in its right-wing agenda.

Nine schools, both public and private, received the so-called Compact for Academic Excellence in Higher Education on Oct. 1. Among other requests, this wide-ranging Trump administration proposal demands that participating universities cap undergraduate enrollment of international students at 15 percent, platform conservative ideology by reevaluating departments or “institutional units” that are perceived as unfriendly to such beliefs, tamp down grade inflation by following government-dictated standards, and adhere to strict, binary definitions of sex and gender.

The nine universities chosen were Brown University, Dartmouth College, the University of Texas at Austin (UT Austin), the University of Virginia, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Arizona, Vanderbilt University, the University of Southern California, and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

The compact states that if these institutions agree to and successfully comply with its terms—a standard that will be evaluated and approved by the Department of Justice on an annual basis—they will receive prioritized “federal benefits,” which include research funding, government contracts, and access to student loans.

‘It is so obviously unlawful’

The compact “is the greatest single incursion into the freedom and autonomy of higher education to ever happen in this country,” said Todd Wolfson, president of the American Association of University Professors (AAUP), a professional association representing about 50,000 university faculty across 500 national chapters.

Nicholas Hite, a senior attorney for LGBTQ+ rights organization Lambda Legal, agrees.

“It is so obviously unlawful, and [the Trump administration] knows that, which is why the only way they can even put it forward is [to] ask universities to do this voluntarily,” Hite said.

Among its many preconditions, the compact asks schools to “commit to defining and otherwise interpreting ‘male,’ ‘female,’ ‘woman,’ and ‘man’ according to reproductive function and biological processes.”

It additionally claims that “women’s equality requires single-sex spaces.” In other words, the administration wants universities that join the compact to bar transgender people from the restrooms, locker rooms, and sports teams that align with their gender identity.

“By adopting biological definitions of what a man or a woman is—according to some people in the federal government—universities would be co-signing onto a on a multi-tiered system in which queer and trans students are, yet again, going to be put at the bottom and receive the least amount of protection,” Hite said.

“The compact makes reference to equality many, many times, while simultaneously demanding that universities enforce this fundamentally unequal system on campus,” he added.

The compact has proven to be overwhelmingly unpopular thus far.

Of the nine original recipients, seven schools have rejected the deal in its current form. Only Vanderbilt University and UT Austin have yet to publicly give a definitive answer to whether they will make a deal, though Vanderbilt’s chancellor suggested having hesitations about aspects of the agreement, the New York Times reported on Oct. 20. UT Austin is reportedly in talks with the administration, a White House official told Axios. The Trump administration had initially requested responses by Oct. 20.

MIT was the first to rebuff Trump’s proposed deal.

“Fundamentally, the premise of the document is inconsistent with our core belief that scientific funding should be based on scientific merit alone,” MIT President Sally Kornbluth wrote to Secretary of Education Linda McMahon on Oct. 10, nine days after receiving the administration’s offer letter.

Other schools subsequently followed suit, including Brown and the University of Pennsylvania. The two Ivy League institutions had previously struck deals with the Trump administration, which restored research funding in exchange for adopting policies including ceasing gender-affirming care for minors at Brown and barring transgender women from women’s sports teams at both.

‘All eyes are on UT Austin’

After MIT’s rejection, Trump extended the opportunity to sign the agreement to all higher education institutions in the U.S. in an Oct. 12 Truth Social post.

For UT Austin, the initial response to the compact has been far more positive. Kevin Eltife, Chairman of the Board of Regents of the University of Texas system, was “honored” that the university was one of the first to be approached by the administration.

“We enthusiastically look forward to engaging with university officials and reviewing the compact immediately,” he said in a statement.

But Eltife’s apparent excitement has heightened concerns on some Texas campuses, where state law already requires public universities to abide by a number of stipulations similar to those in the compact.

Texas Senate Bill 17, which prohibits teaching and discussion of diversity, equity, and inclusion on campuses, took effect in January 2024. And in August 2025, the state Senate passed a “bathroom bill” that, starting Dec. 4, will bar transgender and gender nonconforming individuals from using public restrooms that align with their gender identity.

Groups like Texas Students for DEI, a student-led organization that advocates for diversity, equity, and inclusion in education, have formed in response to these laws and are now turning their attention to protesting the compact.

Autumn Lauener, a Texas Students for DEI organizer who earned their master’s degree in social work from UT Austin in spring 2025, worries that schools in the University of Texas system will preemptively comply with the federal government’s requests, despite their legal precarity.

On Sept. 25, the Texas Tech university system’s chancellor, Tedd Mitchell, sent a letter instructing all Texas Tech schools to comply with a Trump executive order that asserts the validity of only two genders. Mitchell’s memo told the presidents of all five Texas Tech institutions to review and adjust course material and curricula.

Trans and nonbinary Texas Tech students and alumni have been left feeling frustrated and hopeless, News From the States reported.

“Students are terrified to reach out to faculty, [and] faculty are terrified to support students,” Lauener said.

UT Austin is similarly reevaluating the classes and services it offers.

In compliance with SB 17, the university replaced its Gender and Sexuality Center with The Women’s Community Center in January 2024. It announced in September 2025 that University Health Services would cease offering hormone replacement therapy to students starting Jan. 1 2026, and revealed a plan to audit all gender studies courses.

“All eyes are on UT Austin, because if they fall, the rest of the system will quickly fall,” Alex De Jesus, a fellow lead student organizer at Texas Students for DEI and current master’s student at the University of Texas at Dallas, said.

Austin is a relatively flush branch of the state’s publicly funded higher education system. Dallas, De Jesus said, is “desperate for any kind of funding.”

“If UT Austin accepts this compact,” he added, “we will soon probably preemptively comply.”

Compact ups White House attack against queer and trans students

These actions don’t only harm queer and trans students and faculty, Wolfson, president of the AAUP, said.

“If [schools] aren’t up to the standards of [the Trump administration’s] dogma of how badly to treat LGBTQ+ students, you’re going to lose your funding,” he explained, “so it’s like you’re incentivized to make [a campus] an unwelcoming space.”

The compact also demonstrates a desire “to erase our knowledge base on these questions and issues from a social, cultural, political, psychological, and health standpoint,” he said.

Lauener believes they have already experienced a version of this censorship. While completing a fellowship focused on disabilities at UT Health during their master’s program, they were prohibited from using words commonly associated with what they were studying, like “intersectionality” or “neurodiversity.”

The word “disability” itself has been removed from government memos and websites as part of an initiative the Trump administration has undertaken to limit or cease the usage of words and terms it considers “woke.”

If UT Austin does comply with the compact, Lauener and De Jesus both said that Texas Students for DEI is ready to fight back. The group will remind Texas universities that striking this deal would risk violating state or federal laws.

“Parts of the compact that seem unconstitutional or troublesome to implement, those can at least be used as a leverage right now and to remind universities, ‘Hey, if you comply [with] this, you’re being held liable for unconstitutional orders,’” De Jesus said.

For example, the agreement demands that universities place conditions on where and how protests occur. UT students recently won an injunction against Texas SB 2972, which restricted protest conditions on UT campuses between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m. The compact could be at odds with that ruling.

Wolfson’s organization is also prepared to resist with legal action.

“I believe that we will have strong grounds to sue any university potentially that signs on to this compact for undermining the First Amendment rights and constitutional rights of our members on that campus,” he said. “Any university that accepts the compact must be made into a pariah in the academic community.”

Hite, of Lambda Legal, was unable to speculate on future litigation. But he said the organization is ready and willing to get involved if necessary.

Wolfson described the compact and its underlying message as “despicable hypocrisy.”

“The argument [the Trump administration] makes time and again about DEI is that it takes away meritocracy … But then the compact itself does the exact same thing, because it says, ‘If you do conform to our belief around gender, your research on cancer is more likely to be funded,’” he said. “That is actually the definition of undermining the meritocracy of our research on cancer through an ideological litmus test.”

Lauener agrees.

“It feels so contradictory in a lot of ways, for people who are all about [being] hands off … to try to control [higher education] so intensely because they don’t like the product that’s being produced,” they said.

“That just really hits hard—it’s so deeply ideological in nature,” Lauener added. “It’s not about freedom of speech or freedom of expression … it’s [about] control.”

The post ‘Students Are Terrified’: How Trump’s Higher Education Compact Puts Queer Students at Risk appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "‘Students, Are, Terrified’:, How, Trump’s, Higher, Education, Compact, Puts, Queer, Students, Risk", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Trump-Compact-Article-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/29/university-compact-trump/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-29 09:23:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "105911", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Governor’s Race Could Alter Abortion Landscape in New Jersey", "title_slug": "governors-race-could-alter-abortion-landscape-in-new-jersey", "title_hash": "7b8b5df3ddc77c9034a27fc15f59ed76", "summary": "\"This is one of the most consequential elections of, I will say, my lifetime, when it comes to what the future of reproductive health care access can look like in New Jersey.\"\nThe post Governor’s Race Could Alter Abortion Landscape in New Jersey appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

While abortion has been a constant campaign issue for political candidates from coast to coast since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, it’s become barely a blip in New Jersey’s race to replace term-limited Gov. Phil Murphy.

That’s partly because New Jersey leaders have enacted strong abortion protections since then, observers say. Abortion rights supporters rank New Jersey at or near the top when it comes to reproductive rights, while the Murphy administration has declared the state a safe haven for those seeking or providing the procedure.

It’s also because both leading candidates for New Jersey governor have said they support abortion rights. Rep. Mikie Sherrill (D) said she backs current state protections that allow abortion with no gestational limit, while Jack Ciattarelli (R) backs the procedure up to 20 weeks. The two are vying for Murphy’s job on Nov. 4, 2025.

Ashley Koning, director of the Eagleton Center for Public Interest Polling at Rutgers University, said affordability and taxes have increasingly edged out abortion as priorities for voters, both in recent surveys and in last year’s general election.

“I don’t really see an issue like abortion eking through in these final weeks,” Koning said. “At the end of the day, ‘It’s always the economy, stupid.’ That’s what New Jersey voters are going to care about when it comes to this Jersey-centric statewide election.”

Advocates on both sides of the reproductive rights fight agree the abortion landscape could look vastly different in New Jersey under a Republican governor, with Ciattarelli vowing to defund Planned Parenthood, fund anti-abortion pregnancy centers, require parental notification for minors seeking abortions, and pass a bill now stalled in the New Jersey Statehouse that would largely ban abortion after 20 weeks.

Abortion rights supporters fear the state’s gubernatorial trends could prevail and land Ciattarelli the win. It’s been more than 60 years since either party won the governorship three elections in a row, as Sherrill is seeking to do this year.

“We’re preparing for either scenario, whether there is a Mikie Sherrill governor or Jack Ciattarelli is elected governor,” said Kaitlyn Wojtowicz, executive director of Planned Parenthood Action Fund of New Jersey. “We could face some really grave issues with Jack Ciattarelli as governor … to us, this is one of the most consequential elections of, I will say, my lifetime, when it comes to what the future of reproductive health care access can look like in New Jersey, especially with the threats at the federal level.”

President Donald Trump and his administration have moved to block Medicaid funds from Planned Parenthood, pardoned anti-abortion activists charged with federal crimes for blocking access to clinics, and threatened access to birth control, among other things.

Where the candidates stand

Sherrill has been a steadfast supporter of abortion rights, appearing at rallies and press conferences to advocate for reproductive rights, introducing legislation in Congress to protect abortion and in vitro fertilization (IVF) access for military women, and consistently voting to maintain abortion access.

Asked by the New Jersey Monitor if she supports any restrictions on the procedure, she said: “This is a decision that should be made between a woman and her doctor.”

“I’m in favor of choice,” she said.

Sherrill voted twice in favor of the Women’s Health Protection Act, which ultimately failed but would have codified the abortion rights enshrined in Roe v. Wade. If elected governor, Sherrill said she would move to include abortion rights in the New Jersey Constitution.

“Jack wants an abortion ban. He’s also in favor of defunding Planned Parenthood. All of these things that can lead to worse and worse health for women in our state,” Sherrill said. “I think what we really need is a constitutional protection, so it doesn’t matter who’s governor, women are protected in our state.”

A Ciattarelli campaign spokesman directed the New Jersey Monitor to its website, which says the decision whether to end a pregnancy is “deeply personal” and “should be between a woman, her partner, her faith, and her health care professionals.”

But Ciattarelli has also said he supports repealing the Freedom of Reproductive Choice Act, the 2022 state law that codified abortion rights in New Jersey, and passing the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, a bill that has been introduced every legislative session since 2016 that would ban abortion after 20 weeks except in cases of rape or incest or if the mother’s life is endangered. New Jersey is one of nine states that allow abortion at any point of gestation, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization that supports abortion rights.

At a town hall in southern New Jersey last month, Ciattarelli brought up abortion in response to a question about the rights parents have over their children’s health care decisions. He said he would bar people under 18 from getting abortions without parental consent.

“Here in the state of New Jersey, a child can’t get their ears pierced if they’re under the age of 18 without what? Permission from their parents,” he said. “We’re going to have 15- and 16-year-olds getting an abortion, and parents aren’t going to be notified? I have yet to find even the most liberal person that agrees with that policy position.”

He also has echoed the Trump administration’s calls to defund Planned Parenthood, saying he opposes using public funds for abortion and would redirect that money to anti-abortion pregnancy centers. New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy’s administration remains locked in a legal battle with a group of these centers, which have challenged a state investigation into whether they use deceptive advertising to lure pregnant patients who may be considering abortion.

‘20/20 Project’

Anti-abortion advocates gathered at the Statehouse in Trenton, the state capital, last month for the New Jersey March for Life.

The march was just 40 days before the general election, but most speakers didn’t mention the election or Ciattarelli. That didn’t surprise Marie Tasy, who heads New Jersey Right to Life.

“He says he’s pro-choice,” Tasy told the New Jersey Monitor. Her group endorsed conservative radio host Bill Spadea in the GOP primary.

Brennan Coughlin, pastor of Fellowship CrossPoint Church in central New Jersey, said he’s “underwhelmed” by Ciattarelli’s abortion stance.

“I did not vote for him in the primary. I voted for Bill Spadea, who’s much more clear and strong on protecting babies in the womb,” said Coughlin, a frequent fixture at anti-abortion rallies. “But I will definitely vote for Jack Ciattarelli, knowing that Mikie Sherrill would be, from my vantage point, continuing the policies of Gov. Murphy that we do not support and are staunchly opposed to.”

Michael D. Byrne regards such sentiments as a failure of messaging, rather than an enthusiasm gap.

Byrne is a Republican and member of the New Jersey Pro-Life Alliance, a group that formed after the spring primaries to mobilize voters on the abortion issue. They plan an advertising campaign in the coming weeks to let anti-abortion voters know Ciattarelli is their guy, Byrne said.

While some abortion critics oppose the procedure at any stage of pregnancy, a 20-week ban has proven tolerable enough in anti-abortion circles that a coalition of New Jersey advocates in 2017 launched an effort called the 20/20 Project to push for such a prohibition by 2020.

“It’s one of those 80/20 positions in politics where the vast majority of voters, when they have time to think about late-term abortion versus early, agree that there should be some limits,” Byrne said. (Editor’s note: Typically, Rewire News Group’s policy is to describe abortions at 24 weeks and later as “later abortions” because “late-term abortion” is not an accepted medical term. Here, we have preserved the language in the quote for transparency.)

Byrne has a lot more enthusiasm for Ciattarelli than Tasy and Coughlin.

“We’re excited about finally having a candidate who is a serious candidate—who’s likely to win, I think, at this point—and who will champion the 20-week bill, as well as other common sense things like parental notification and ending taxpayer funding for abortion,” Byrne said.

Abortion rights advocates hope the schism in the anti-abortion community will help sink Ciattarelli’s chances.

Wojtowicz said undecided voters need only look back to former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s tenure for a reminder of what the state could look like under Ciattarelli. Christie repeatedly vetoed family planning funding, which drove at least six clinics to close. Beyond abortion, such clinics also offer patients screening for sexually transmitted infections and cancer, as well as preventative services including birth control, Wojtowicz said.

“We’ve been here before, and we know what we could expect under a Ciattarelli governorship. It would be devastating for public health,” she said.

Jeanne LoCicero, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey, said the next governor should not meddle in matters of bodily autonomy.

“Everyone should be able to get the reproductive health care they need, and that includes abortion care, and they need to be able to obtain that care when they need it and without the interference of politicians,” LoCicero said. “So New Jersey should be enacting protections for patients seeking abortion care and other reproductive care, and not putting barriers in place. These are decisions that need to be made with patients and doctors and not by lawmakers.”

\n\n

This story was originally reported by Dana DiFilippo for the New Jersey Monitor on Oct. 8, 2025. New Jersey Monitor is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. New Jersey Monitor maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Terrence T. McDonald for questions: info@newjerseymonitor.com.

The post Governor’s Race Could Alter Abortion Landscape in New Jersey appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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As a little girl, I once dreamed of becoming a nun. I admired their calmness, their devotion, the peace that seemed to wrap around them like the holy in their garments. I told myself that I would live that way too, a life that is pure, simple, and devoted to God. Nonetheless, they say man proposes and God disposes. God, in His mysterious wisdom, had other plans for my life.

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His name is Eric.

I met him when I was a bright-eyed twenty-year-old. He was charming, and as I got to know him I realised he was kind and funny. I liked talking to him. I liked spending time with him. There was something about his smile that made me feel giddy. If you asked me to describe it back then I would say, “When he smiles, the world seems softer. It makes me feel safe.” I didn’t even notice when I began to give him everything — my laughter, my secrets, my dreams, and slowly, my heart.

I believed in love then, the kind you read about in novels or hear about in old songs. He made me believe it was possible. “You’re my whole world,” he used to whisper, and I would smile, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this was what happily ever after looked like.

I told him I didn’t want children until my thirties. I wanted time to grow and build something of my own. He agreed but life has its way of rewriting our plans.

At twenty-three, I found out I was pregnant. I remember the day clearly. I was standing in the washroom with the pregnancy test shaking in my hands. My heart raced, but I told myself it would be fine. We were in love. Love was supposed to fix everything, right?

Our daughter was born two years ago. She is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. When I brought her home from the hospital, her tiny fingers wrapped around mine, and I felt a love so fierce it scared me. But the nights that followed were not filled with lullabies or whispered prayers. They were filled with exhaustion, silence, and tears.

He barely looked at me, not to talk of lifting a finger to help me take care of the baby. He would come home late, eat his food in silence and go to bed.

Eric became distant, or maybe he had always been that way, and I was only now seeing it. The only time he was interested in talking to me was if it had to do with his mother. She ruled his world. Every decision, every thought had to please her. I used to think “mama’s boy” was a sweet nickname but now, it sounds like a curse in my ears.

He would talk endlessly about his mother’s needs, her advice, her opinions on how I should raise our baby. But not once did he stay up with me through those long nights when our baby wouldn’t stop crying. I would sit by the bed, rocking her in my tired arms with tears streaming down my face. Sometimes all I needed was one hour of rest.

Sometimes, in the quiet moments before dawn, I would think about the little girl who once dreamed of being a nun. That girl felt lost somewhere between the dishes and the diapers.

Eric is in his late thirties, but he acts like a child because of his mother. We don’t see eye to eye on anything. I have tried to fix things. We both did, but nothing has worked. The walls between us only grow taller.

Some days, I look at my daughter and wonder what kind of love story I am teaching her. Will she grow up thinking it is normal for a woman to shrink herself to fit inside her husband’s world?

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I’ve thought of leaving more times than I can count. The word divorce tastes bitter, but so does despair. I am drained completely. I am constantly stressed and worried. This marriage has broken me in ways words can barely explain.

Please, my sisters, before you step into marriage, take time to know yourself. Build your dreams, chase your goals, get that degree, that job, that financial independence. Don’t rush because the world says your time is running out. Don’t trade your peace for a ring that might rust with regret.

—Sheila

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My elder sister fell seriously sick, so I was called to help. She has a two-year-old son and a husband whose work often takes him out of the house, so when she asked me to come, I didn’t hesitate.

I knew her husband when they were dating. My dad was very strict then, so whenever my sister wanted to go out, she would take me as a cover. When I was with her, my dad wouldn’t suspect she was going out with a man.

That was how I developed a rapport with Aboagye. We would go out, they would buy something for me, and I would sit far away and enjoy my meal while they enjoyed their date. When we got home, I would get out of the car first to give them a few minutes of privacy.

He called me “Small Wife” and was very kind to me. When they finally got married and shared their story, I got my share of the praise for being the one who kept them going when times were hard.

When they moved in together, I moved in with them to help them settle. I stayed for a year or so before I went to school. In school, Aboagye was there for me. He helped pay my fees and got me a hostel. Whenever I needed something and told my sister, she would say, “Speak to Aboagye, he’s your buddy-buddy.”

I wouldn’t speak to him, but days later he would call and say, “Your sister told me this and that. Why didn’t you tell me?” And then he would provide the assistance I needed. When I prayed, I asked God to bless him with more. When I hoped for a man, I hoped for a man like him: kind, sweet, and ever-present.

My sister was in the hospital for weeks. I took care of the house, their child, and Aboagye. In the evening, he would take us to visit my sister at the hospital, where we would stay for a while before coming back home. I was doing my best to keep the house in shape and the home running in my sister’s absence.

One evening after returning from the hospital, Aboagye came with a drink and a burger. He told me, “Put Joe to sleep before he comes to snatch everything away.” I did as he requested while he took his bath and got the food ready. When I came back, the drink had already been poured into a glass and the burger was set. I took a heavy sip and started eating my share.

A few minutes later, I felt drowsy and couldn’t control myself. I remember asking him if the drink was alcoholic. I have the image of him laughing and asking me if I was tipsy. I answered, “I don’t know how tipsy feels, but I don’t like how I’m feeling.” He asked if he should help me inside, and I said no.

I don’t remember what happened next. Maybe I slept or passed out. By the time I regained some sort of consciousness, I was in my bed and Aboagye was on top of me. I remember trying to shout but not having the strength. I was so weak I couldn’t raise my hands to push him off. He looked into my helpless eyes and whispered words I’ve forgotten. Maybe I passed out again because I don’t remember the rest until I woke up at dawn feeling used and sore.

I tried to recollect what happened, and the images started playing out. They were not clear, but I remembered seeing him on top of me, going up and down. That explained the soreness I felt, but I wasn’t sure. I kept replaying the memory and asking myself if what I saw was real. I cried. I was still weak, but I had to wake up and get the child ready for school.

When he woke up, he came to the kitchen, greeted me gleefully, and asked how my night was. He behaved as if nothing had happened and carried on as if life was normal. He made me ask myself if I was sane. “Did it happen? Was it a dream? Am I hallucinating?”

When we were together again that evening, I started asking questions about the drink and burger. “Was I able to finish my burger last night?” He laughed and asked, “Oh, you don’t remember? You ate everything and even took some of mine.” I asked, “And then what happened?” He answered, “Nothing. You felt sleepy and went inside to sleep.” I asked, “Was the drink alcoholic?”

He pointed at the fridge and said, “The rest is in the fridge. You can go and check the alcoholic percentage. It’s only fruit.”

I went quiet for a while. He asked why I was asking all those questions, and I told him I wasn’t feeling well after taking the drink. He apologized and called it an allergy. The gaslighting was so pure and seamless I thought I was going mad. Had it not been for the soreness I felt, I would have concluded it was just a dream.

I went to the clinic to see a gynecologist, but they asked me to book an appointment. I pressed, “Something happened to me last night, and I need confirmation.” The nurse looked at me sternly as if she understood. She said, “Let me call a friend at another facility for you. She’s always there.”

After she examined me, she asked, “Did you fight with him?” I burst into tears. She asked, “Have you already spoken to the police?” I continued crying. She was helpful. She calmed my raging heart and gave me her contact in case I needed her help.

I walked around with pain in my heart, knowing the weight of what happened. I needed to talk to someone, but who would believe me? I coiled into myself. I didn’t laugh or spend time with him again. I was avoiding him, and he must have noticed because he asked questions. I would look deep into his eyes and see the shadows of that night. A week later, my sister was brought back home.

I packed my things and told her I was leaving. She implored, “No, not so quickly. Wait until I’m fully back on my feet.” I grudgingly agreed, but you know what? Anytime I see Aboagye around my sister, acting like an angel who loves her purely, I get angry. The fact that he pretends nothing happened gets on my last nerve. Currently, I don’t talk to him. I just want my sister to get well so I can leave.

My only prayer is that she gets better as soon as possible because every minute I last in this house pushes me closer to murder. I have the name of the poison already, and I know where to get it. I have the money to buy it, and each passing day, anytime I’m in the market, the voice in my head tells me, “Buy it. You might need it tonight.”

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

He loves putting things in people’s drinks, so I want to do the same to him and see how he would feel if he woke up dead one day. Even if I don’t get the courage to do it, I would get the courage to talk to someone—maybe my mom or my dad.

I don’t know how they’ll take it, but one thing I know for sure is that telling them will ease my wandering mind. Depending on how they handle it, the thought of murder in my head might fade. I only need to leave here as quickly as I can before the worst happens.

—Aboagyewaa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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I’ve always been a giver. I am happiest when the people I care about are comfortable. I think it’s my best trait and sometimes my worst. That’s because even when people prove to me that they don’t deserve my help, I am uncomfortable if I can help them but I don’t. Take my baby daddy for instance, he has shown me many times that he may not be worth it but I can’t quiet the thoughts that say he is still the father of my children. So my children and I will benefit from whatever I do for him.

Currently, he is not financially stable. I have been thinking about setting up a business for him. My plan is to fund it and have him pay back the money as a loan, with little to no interest.

The only reason I haven’t taken the step yet is because of some comments he made when Daddy Lumba’s issue became a topic of discussion. One of the things he kept repeating was, “A man with money can do whatever he wants in marriage because he paid the bride price.” He also believes there’s nothing wrong with a man having side chicks or children outside marriage, so long as he takes care of them. We are not married yet but these statements worry me deeply.

Although we have two children together, we haven’t discussed marriage yet. But his mother keeps saying it’s best for us to stay together so our children can grow up with both parents. That’s part of the reason I want to help him get on his feet financially. That way he can provide for me and the children.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

\nBesides, it breaks my heart whenever he complains that he doesn’t have money. I know people will say I can take care of myself so that’s enough, but there’s a certain peace that comes from knowing your man is also capable of providing for himself, his woman, and the children.

So, I really want to know: has anyone here been in this kind of situation before? Did you go ahead to help the man, or did you move on and focus on your own life?

—Monica

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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In 2020, I was very single, to the point of stupor. I had never been in a relationship before. Around that time, it was some man from my neighborhood that was toasting me, and he had started disturbing me, saying he liked me and wanted to be with me. He showed interest in me constantly. At first, I refused. I told him honestly that I wasn’t ready.

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But he kept insisting. After about a year, I thought maybe I should try. I wanted to experience what being in a relationship felt like.

When we started dating, it was good. It was fun, sweet, and full of love. Even though it was long distance, with him working in Kenya, it felt real. Every day we were on the phone, talking about our day, our likes, everything. We shared so much, and somehow, the kilometers between us didn’t matter.

From the very beginning, he knew one thing about me. I didn’t want to have sex before marriage. That was my choice, my value, and I was very clear about it. But he was relentless. He often brought up the topic, saying that once he came back, he wanted us to be intimate. I always said no. I was very upfront about it. Maybe he thought I was just talking, that I didn’t mean it. But after each disagreement, we would go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend, loving each other.

After two years, he finally came back to the country. That was when he started insisting again. He wanted us to be intimate. It was all he could talk about. I repeated my answer.

“No. If you can’t wait, I can let you go. You can find someone who shares your views, and I’ll do the same.”

At first, he seemed to understand. It looked like we had reached an agreement. But one day…

That day, I wasn’t feeling well. I have always been sick of one thing or another. I even told him about a bad dream I had that drained me when I woke up. I needed rest. But he insisted, almost like something was wrong with him. He said, “You can rest at my place. I just want us to be together.”

It didn’t sound like a bad idea, so I packed a few things and went to his place.

That night, he knew I was weak. He knew I didn’t have the strength to fight him off. Even when I tried to resist with the little strength I had, even when I screamed, he forced himself on me.

And that same day, I broke up with him.

It happened in 2023, but the pain still lives somewhere inside me. Since then, I’ve struggled to feel ready for any kind of physical relationship. I keep wondering if I’m still “pure”, if I’m still a virgin, because I managed to escape before it went too far. Someone later told me I was still a virgin, but honestly, I don’t know how to answer that question anymore.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

What I do know is this. I deserved respect. I deserved to be heard when I said “no” to sex

When he came back to beg for another, he said he did nothing wrong. He said it was his right as a boyfriend to be intimate with me. But no, it was not his right. I did not give him that right.

I am still in the process of healing from that trauma. I have forgiven him, not because he asked me to, but because I know forgiveness is the first step to healing properly.

But I will never forget.

—Lucy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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When my mom got pregnant with me, she and my dad tried to terminate the pregnancy several times, but it never worked. My dad left her and told her that if she could get rid of the pregnancy, he would come back. But she couldn’t. Afer I was born, my family had to intervene in an attempt she made on my life. When I was eight years old, she took me to live with my uncle and his wife in the village.

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Living there was a nightmare. My aunt hated me so much. She also made two attempts on my life. There were many times she hurt me physically. I still have scars and bruises from that period. I remember asking her once why she hated me so much, and she said, “If your own mother doesn’t want you, why should I?”

Over time, I just got used to the pain because I was still a child. Then one day, I got really sick. I have low blood pressure, and it became so bad that my aunt told my uncle to take me back to my mom because she didn’t want me to die in her house.

When I got back home, my mom was with my stepdad. He was kind and loving to me at first. I never even thought about my biological father because I felt safe and happy for the first time. For a few years, everything seemed fine.

But then, my mom started changing. She began chasing me from home, telling me to go and find my real father—someone I’ve never met. She kept repeating that I was the reason he left her and that all her problems started because I was born. She would say things like, “If you hadn’t lived, I would have been happy.” Hearing that from my own mother broke me.

As time went on, my stepdad also changed. He started making advances toward me and said he wanted to sleep with me. I resisted him but when it became too much, I told my mother. Instead of helping me, she blamed me. She said if I hadn’t been born, none of this would have happened. She even went around telling her entire family that I’d been sleeping with him for years.

Comparing Ghana And The UK: Lifestyle, Dating and Everything In Between

I tried to explain the truth—that he was the one trying to do it—but no one believed me. Everyone turned against me. I was in Grade 12 at the time, trying to prepare for my final exams. It’s a miracle it didn’t affect my education. I was so depressed and broken. The one place that was supposed to be my safest home became the scariest place on earth.

Since then, my mom has blamed me for ruining her marriage. She says I’m the reason every man leaves her. I’ve prayed and asked God, “If this is how parents treat their children, then maybe I’m better off not having any of my own someday,” because I never want another person to go through what I went through.

—Beauty

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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Transgender and nonbinary people faced fewer barriers to medication abortion when they get care through telehealth, according to a new paper in Contraception, a journal of the Society of Family Planning.

The peer-reviewed article, which was published as a pre-proof online on Sept. 19, 2025, analyzed interviews with 15 people who got a telehealth medication abortion between April 2021 and May 2024.

All participants identified as gender-expansive, including transmasculine, nonbinary and genderqueer (meaning they don’t identify with the gender binary and related societal expectations). Other participants were agender, which can mean they have no gender or describe their identity as gender neutral, or gender non-conforming (which means they do not adhere to the norms imposed on their gender).

The research, which was conducted as part of a larger project called the California Home Abortion by Telehealth Study (CHAT), found that many patients avoided common negative interactions with health-care workers, like being misgendered, stigmatized, or discriminated against. Researchers have linked these experiences to health-care disparities. And for some patients, the study found, the telehealth experience improved their overall relationships with the health-care system.

Rewire News Group spoke with Dr. Andréa Becker, an assistant professor of sociology and the paper’s lead author, about what the research means for providing abortion care to marginalized communities.

“The top takeaway,” Becker said, is “that trans and nonbinary patients can benefit greatly from having a telehealth option for their abortion.”

The original interview was conducted by phone. It has been edited for length and clarity, and includes information from emailed follow-ups.

What do you think explains your findings?

In our past research on telehealth abortion, we found that telehealth allows people to circumvent abortion stigma in various ways. But when it comes to trans and nonbinary people, they’re coming against abortion stigma as well as the potential for transphobia. So the two are magnified and can lead to barriers to care.

Having this telehealth option allows trans people to avoid the structural and interpersonal elements of abortion stigma. It can also allow them to avoid transphobia in a medical setting.

What does that mean for patients?

When a patient appears gender expansive or just gender queer—not cis or not normative—it can lead to worse health care. LGBT people in general, but trans and nonbinary people in particular, have high barriers to medical care and have a high degree of health-care avoidance. So with telehealth, it lowers the barriers, and it can lead to these patients not avoiding the health-care setting.

A barrier that really stuck out to me as a cis woman was reading the aspects of your article where patients were really concerned about entering into a space that’s branded as “women’s health.” Why was that branding so detrimental?

That’s a really great example of how transphobia and abortion stigma combine for trans patients. I would say most, if not all, people who are women who want to get an abortion don’t want to be called “mama” either.

It’s also really common when you go to get a pregnancy test that the provider assumes that you want the pregnancy. And it’s very common and normalized to immediately say “congratulations,” or to prescribe prenatal vitamins. So that’s what all abortion patients typically are up against in the first place.

But then to be called “mama,” and you’re trans or nonbinary, then it’s a double whammy. You’re being invalidated in your abortion and in your gender. So another reason why telehealth abortion is so great is because it circumnavigates in-person testing.

For a really long time, the health-care establishment was adamant that in order to have a safe abortion, you needed an in-person pregnancy test and an ultrasound. But what we found through the CHAT Study more broadly is that it is as safe and effective to have a medication abortion without those requirements.

And having an ultrasound—[when] it’s trans vaginal, they’re highly invasive, even if you’re cis. So say you’re a trans man or nonbinary [person] having to have that sort of testing done, [it] can be even more invasive and can cause [symptoms of] gender dysphoria.

Why is this research important?

Within abortion research spaces, trans people are often forgotten about altogether. … And we see that translating to the way that doctors treat their patients.

Trans and nonbinary people’s reproductive health needs are forgotten about across every domain—from starting desired families to terminating unwanted pregnancies. This becomes especially clear when we compare trans experiences to the promotion of cis women’s fertility in medicine, public health, and politics.

We need to invest in abortion access now more than ever, but we can’t forget trans patients in the process. If we create a world in which a trans patient can have an affirming abortion experience that’s free of barriers, this improves all abortion experiences. Inclusivity benefits us all.

A lot of reproductive justice spaces consider themselves inclusive but might have, at various points, fallen into that trap of centering gender in the way that they provide care.

The majority of abortion patients are women, and the majority of people in these spaces are going to be women. (Editor’s note: A 2023 Guttmacher Institute survey found that about 1.1 percent of more than 6,600 abortion patients “identified as something other than woman or female.”)

But just because it’s a majority doesn’t mean that trans and nonbinary patients don’t also matter, and their safety and their comfort also matters.

So [providers should consider] just being more attuned to how gendered the space is. The walls don’t have to be pink. Female patients will be fine if they go to a doctor’s office and the walls aren’t pink, or if it doesn’t say “ladies” everywhere, or if it’s only “women’s” bathrooms.

Also, at the very least, training receptionists to expect gender diversity. Even if it’s a small number, it’s still substantial. They’re going to encounter trans or nonbinary people. Trans and nonbinary people need abortion care. They have abortion care. They’re going to be showing up in these spaces, and if we’re going to be talking about reproductive justice, and patient-centered care and inclusive abortion care, then we need to have conversations about trans inclusivity.

What’s a question you had unanswered or a variable you couldn’t control for that you think would be a fruitful area for later research?

This sample was quite small, so I would love to look more into the role of race and how it combines with gender in terms of access to abortion [and] how telehealth allows people to maybe circumvent some form of medical racism as well.

The post Telehealth Improves Abortion Care Experience for Some Trans, Nonbinary Patients—New Research appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Around this time last year, as summer in Chicago turned to autumn, I did what many lonely, big-hearted suckers do and got caught up with an emotionally unavailable person I liked having sex with. It was, in so many words, cuffing season, when the weather turns cold and dark and people seek out the ease and comfort of a short-term relationship.

Cuffing season, according to lifestyle and sex writers besides me, takes place from November to March. Like clockwork, the phrase has trended every winter since 2013, when the rapper Fabolous introduced it into the popular lexicon. (Yes, as so much of our contemporary slang does, “cuffing season” has origins in African American Vernacular English.)

That’s where my Winter Boyfriend came in.

We met on Tinder and arranged to get some non-alcoholic drinks on a Thursday night at my local haunt. About two hours later, the bar got livelier and we decided to hang out “someplace quieter,” aka my house. We started making out, then we started having sex.

And eventually, we started seeing each other once or twice a week. At some point between these dates and hook-ups, I stopped referring to him as “Tinder man” to my friends and started referring to him as “Winter Bae” or Winter Boyfriend.

My Winter Boyfriend had many admirable traits in a partner: consistency, courteousness, and clear communication. He was so good at communicating, in fact, that he made it perfectly clear that we should remain casual. He was explicitly not looking for a serious relationship (or at least, not with me).

I am a proponent of casual dating, but it’s hard to say that someone who’s taking you out to dinner and licking your private parts is just a friend. But, still, I swear that the “boyfriend” part of my completely private nickname for him was more of a fun and easy shorthand than it was a desire to elevate our status.

At some point in January 2025, he reminded me of his intentions to remain unattached. The disappointment I felt about this signaled that I’d fallen into a kind of pseudo-relationship.

The part of my psyche that has been conditioned by a culture of rom-coms, and marriages, and love matches whirred. We were seeing each other so often (even if mostly to bolster our respective moods with post-movie oral sex) that the heteronormative sleeper agent inside of me had been activated. My wifey fantasy had leaked a little too far into the real world, and I started to really imagine a long-term relationship. Maybe Winter Bae could be For-Life Bae?

That fantasy came crashing down this past March, when he broke up with me right as cuffing season came to a close. Although I always knew our “relationship” had an expiration date, I still sent him several long and angry texts about how I didn’t deserve to be dumped via iMessage.

And while I was totally, righteously, crashing out about how it all ended, it had been nice to find some chemical comfort in cuddling and fucking Tinder man through the winter. And, anyway, I can’t be that mad—it pretty much ran the typical course of a cuffing season situation.

Physical touch and companionship do make the dark days of December and January way more bearable, but I’m personally not in love with the origins of cuffing season being so blatantly heteronormative. The “handcuff” and “ball-and-chain” metaphors in Fabolous’ lyrics feel so regressive. Fabolous’ “Cuffin Season” also reinforces the whole Madonna-Whore complex—the idea that you can either be a wifey or a ho (or in this case, a winter wifey or a summer ho).

I know it’s totally basic to say some rap music from ten years ago has a misogynist streak, but I also resent the lyrical implication that there’s something artificial about wanting to temporarily lock in with someone over the cold months. Winter is a time when partying and dating is less appealing because no one wants to go outside, and anyone who is immunocompromised is taking an extra risk by gathering indoors during what is often a peak season for infection.

Maybe it’s time to approach our Q4 sluttery a bit more mindfully.

I suggest we take a page out of Beyoncé’s “Cuff It,” in which Bey sings about partying, getting drunk and or high, and having a “hypersonic, sex erotic” ol’ time with someone. While the song title refers to locking someone into a relationship, it is mostly about messing around. The lyrics don’t even mention playing wifey.

What I’m saying is: Let’s reconsider what “cuffing season” is—and isn’t.

It’s not really about locking it down. It’s about making sure you can have sex through the winter. Let’s abolish the hierarchical heteronormativity of being someone’s winter spouse.

The way I see it, cuffing season is fundamentally about a physical connection. Unless there’s been some explicit communication about dating for marriage, the romantic partnership part of hoeing around in winter is fun. I enjoy the feeling of emotional and intellectual engagement even in casual sexual relationships—but I know it’s just pretend.

As it gets colder again, I challenge everyone to remember this: There are ways to access the kind of intimacy and physical connection associated with cuffing season without having to play house. Personally, I’m going to find solace in the queer utopia of free sex and love, remain vulnerable and brave, ask people out on dates (and maybe even go back to the dating apps when it gets too cold outside.)

Plus, living as a queer person in a big city means I can return to the tried and true warmth of gay bathhouses.

Let’s be true to our hearts, stay slutty, and better communicate emotional boundaries. We can leave the winter wifey fantasy back in 2024.

The post Don’t Let Heteronormative Playacting Ruin Your Cuffing Season appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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A group of patients, doctors, and advocates are suing Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer in the state Court of Claims to argue for the unconstitutionality of a so-called “Pregnancy Exclusion” in Michigan law that determines a person’s right to choose their end-of-life care.

The lawsuit specifically concerns the Michigan Estates and Protected Individuals Code, which dictates the process for designating a patient advocate, who can determine a person’s medical care if they are not able to do so themselves. However, pregnancy creates an exception to this.

“A patient advocate cannot make a medical treatment decision under [state law] to withhold or withdraw treatment from a pregnant patient that would result in the pregnant patient’s death,” the statute reads.

Filed on Oct. 23, 2025, the lawsuit alleges that the statute is a violation of due process rights and of equal protection for pregnant people, as well as freedom of speech rights.

The lawsuit, filed by Compassion Legal: The End-of-Life Justice Center at Compassion & Choices; If/When/How: Lawyering for Reproductive Justice; Perkins Coie LLP; and Mogill & Lemanski, PLLC, also argues that this goes against Michigan’s constitutional protections for reproductive freedom, which includes “the right to make and effectuate decisions about all matters relating to pregnancy.”

“Denying individuals the right to refuse treatment because they are pregnant is fundamentally at odds with the Michigan Constitution,” said Jess Pezley, senior staff attorney at Compassion Legal, in a press release.

Stacey LaRouche, a press secretary for Whitmer, wrote to the Michigan Advance in response to the suit, “Governor Whitmer has been a champion for reproductive freedom, and led the fight to protect and expand our rights following the repeal of Roe v. Wade, when other states did nothing. We cannot comment on pending litigation, but will be following this closely.”

Dr. Viktoria Koskenoja, an Emergency Medicine Physician, and her husband, Sam Holcomb, are both plaintiffs in the case. Koskenoja designated Holcomb as her patient advocate, should she ever not be capable of making her own medical decisions—and included directions around potential pregnancy in her guidance to him.

“I made the decision to include them anyway because I felt so strongly that my ability to control my own medical care shouldn’t depend on my pregnancy status,” she said in the press release, despite her lawyer encouraging her not to.

“When I agreed to become my wife’s patient advocate, I made a commitment to speak for her if she could not speak for herself, and honor her most personal decisions,” Holcomb added.

The lawsuit has been assigned to Michigan Court of Claims Judge Sima Patel, who earlier this year struck down Michigan’s mandatory 24-hour waiting period for receiving abortions.

\n\n

This story was originally reported by Katherine Dailey for Michigan Advance. Michigan Advance is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Michigan Advance maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Jon King for questions: info@michiganadvance.com.

The post Patients, Doctors Challenge Michigan’s ‘Pregnancy Exclusion’ Law in End-of-Life Care appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"sex$ A comprehensive introduction to SEX TALK SEDUCTION. What is sex talk? How’s it differ from dirty talk? And how exactly can you use it to SEDUCE? Read on!

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

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$\"closing$ Want to pick up a girl FAST? Then you want to look for down-to-fuck (DTF) girls – and give them the no-BS, no-dilly-dallying seductions they require.

This post by TomInHo originally appeared on our forum here.

Know what?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Closing, DTF, Girls:, Night, Game, Guide", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/closing-dtf-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/closing-dtf-girls-night-game-guide", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:40:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104326", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Female Body Language Signs Every Man Should Understand", "title_slug": "11-female-body-language-signs-every-man-should-understand", "title_hash": "c34ce11960a2c82cb2610365dc7be505", "summary": "Sometimes words lie, but the body doesn’t. It whispers things you’re not supposed to hear yet. You ever…", "content": "Sometimes words lie, but the body doesn’t. It whispers things you’re not supposed to hear yet. You ever…", "keywords": ", Female, Body, Language, Signs, Every, Man, Should, Understand", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/unspoken-e1761344199834.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/11-female-body-language-signs-every-man-should-understand/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104325", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs A Married Woman Wants To Sleep With You", "title_slug": "10-signs-a-married-woman-wants-to-sleep-with-you", "title_hash": "5953882534a1fb09cd17cfdcd987a52e", "summary": "Sometimes it’s not about falling in love. It’s about feeling something again after a long time. You know…", "content": "Sometimes it’s not about falling in love. It’s about feeling something again after a long time. You know…", "keywords": ", Signs, Married, Woman, Wants, Sleep, With, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/morninglove-e1761354178453.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-a-married-woman-wants-to-sleep-with-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104324", "lang_id": "1", "title": "15 Things About Women Every Man Learns Too Late", "title_slug": "15-things-about-women-every-man-learns-too-late", "title_hash": "efec6fe8a736551dcff9076108f061df", "summary": "Sometimes you only understand women when it’s too late. And not gonna lie, it hits differently when you…", "content": "Sometimes you only understand women when it’s too late. And not gonna lie, it hits differently when you…", "keywords": ", Things, About, Women, Every, Man, Learns, Too, Late", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/couple-intimacy-e1758662777927.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/15-things-about-women-every-man-learns-too-late/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104323", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to 69: Mutual Oral Sex Etiquette", "title_slug": "how-to-69-mutual-oral-sex-etiquette", "title_hash": "19edde1a0eed3b8fcd25dee3de43f11a", "summary": "It’s never been explicitly stated, but it’s pretty obvious that most sex acts are more pleasurable for one partner than the other. It goes like this: Manual? More pleasurable for the receiver. Oral? More pleasurable for the receiver. Penetration? More pleasurable for the penetrator. But there is one sex act that (at least in theory) is exactly as pleasurable for both parties. And that’s the good ‘ol 69 position.\r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Positions to Try Tonight\r\nThe infamous dual-oral position has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity — at least, online — in recent years, as it’s become a meme of sorts. Any mention of the number “69” on Twitter is sure to elicit a chorus of replies simply stating, “Nice.” See for yourself.\r\nWhatever the pervy affect that one-word reply conveys, it’s a fair point that 69ing is nice. It’s not amazing, it’s not spectacular or life-changing, but it is, well, quite pleasant. Sure, it can be hard for either one to actually climax as both partners are simultaneous", "content": "It’s never been explicitly stated, but it’s pretty obvious that most sex acts are more pleasurable for one partner than the other. It goes like this: Manual? More pleasurable for the receiver. Oral? More pleasurable for the receiver. Penetration? More pleasurable for the penetrator. But there is one sex act that (at least in theory) is exactly as pleasurable for both parties. And that’s the good ‘ol 69 position.\r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Positions to Try Tonight\r\nThe infamous dual-oral position has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity — at least, online — in recent years, as it’s become a meme of sorts. Any mention of the number “69” on Twitter is sure to elicit a chorus of replies simply stating, “Nice.” See for yourself.\r\nWhatever the pervy affect that one-word reply conveys, it’s a fair point that 69ing is nice. It’s not amazing, it’s not spectacular or life-changing, but it is, well, quite pleasant. Sure, it can be hard for either one to actually climax as both partners are simultaneously pleasuring and being pleasured, making it nearly impossible to fully relax and enjoy yourself, but it’s hard not to enjoy yourself at all.\r\nThat’s the maddening magic of the 69 — you’re constantly caught in the middle. For some, that means 69ing is similar to shower sex in that it's drastically overrated. But if you’re willing to accept for a moment that it’s a position that’s not designed to make anyone orgasm, you can appreciate it for what it is: a position that is designed to tease and tantalize both parties simultaneously.\r\nWant to know how to do it right? Read on to discover the secrets of proper 69 etiquette.\r\n\r\nWhat Is a 69?\r\n\r\nTheories abound on the origin of the term, but regardless of whether you think it was invented in 1969 or not, the fact that the numbers visually approximate what’s actually going on is pretty apt.\r\nAs Jess O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast, puts it, “[a] 69 refers to an oral sex position in which both partners can give one another oral pleasure. Your bodies are inverted with your heads in one another’s crotches — like a 6 and a 9.”\r\nThough it’s theoretically possible for three or more people to engage in simultaneous oral, adding partners past the first two renders the whole operation significantly more complicated; at its core, 69 is really just a two-person sex position.\r\n\r\nTips for Properly 69ing\r\n\r\n“There is no proper way to 69 — just do what feels good for you and your partner,” says O’Reilly. “You may find that using both your hands and your mouth will allow you to come up for air and more thoroughly enjoy the experience.”\r\nShe’s right — if there’s something that works for you and your partner, then that’s the proper way to 69! But if you’re a beginner looking for specific tips, there are a few things to consider. For starters, as with any oral sex, it’s not a bad idea to shower beforehand so your partner’s playing with clean genitalia (unless they specifically prefer it when you’re sweaty … no judgment here). As well, if you’re not sure of each other’s STI status, using protection (condoms and/or dental dams) is a smart move that can drastically reduce the likelihood of catching an infection.\r\nOne important tip is for whichever partner is bigger and heavier to go on the bottom. Unless you’re doing a sideways 69, the bottom partner will likely bear the brunt of the top partner’s weight, so a top-light, bottom-heavy setup will likely feel more comfortable for both of you.\r\n“You might also want to consider taking turns in the 69 position,” adds O’Reilly. Meaning, one partner orally pleasures the other for a little bit, and then takes a break and receives rather than giving, all while staying in the 69 position the whole time.\r\n\r\nThe Benefits of 69ing\r\n\r\nBeyond just the cool points you get for engaging in an infamous sex position with an outsize reputation, what are the actual benefits of 69ing?\r\nFirst, well, it does involve oral sex — a lot of it. So unless you specifically hate oral, you’re likely to enjoy yourself at least a little bit. But O’Reilly notes that, in its two-for-the-price-of-one ethos, it actually benefits people in a hurry, too.\r\n“It’s efficient,” she says. “You give and receive simultaneously, so if you’re short on time or looking for a quickie, it may be your best bet. It can be hot to give pleasure while you’re receiving it, too. You might experience feelings of empowerment in getting your partner off while they do the same for you.”\r\nSo if you’re someone who feels uncomfortable with traditional oral sex — either giving or receiving — because it feels like too much pressure, 69ing, which is less orgasm-focused and more reciprocal, might be just what you need. As well, since your torsos are aligned, it can feel more intimate than traditional oral sex positions, where partners are often less physically connected.\r\n\r\nThe Drawbacks of 69ing\r\n\r\nWith all those positives, what’s there to dislike about the 69? Well, a few things. For starters, let’s circle back to it being hard for two people to make each other orgasm from oral pleasure simultaneously.\r\n“Many of us have trouble concentrating when we’re highly aroused,” notes O’Reilly. “You might find that you’re so distracted by your own pleasure, that you stop touching or kissing your partner altogether.”\r\nAlternately, you might find that your partner stops pleasuring you because they’re too aroused. Regardless, two people orally pleasuring each other simultaneously is something that’s hard to keep up indefinitely. O’Reilly’s solution for that is to build turn-taking into the equation.\r\n“This can work out just fine,” she says, “if you assume the 69 position, but take turns licking, sucking, touching, stroking and kissing (e.g. you give your partner oral pleasure for a few minutes and then you take a break and they give you pleasure; continue taking turns until you’ve both had your fill).”\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Blowjobs (Yes, Everything)\r\nHowever, critics might conclude that that doesn’t exactly ‘count’ as a 69. Regardless, it is one way to approach the dilemma.\r\nAnother drawback to 69ing is that, because of the way your bodies are arranged, it sort of requires a bed, or another flat, comfortable surface at least a few feet wide to be able to accommodate your aligned torsos and limbs. If you’re looking for a quickie but can’t exactly lie down, it’s probably not a 69-friendly opportunity.\r\n\r\nAnal 69ing\r\n\r\nAs anilingus and butt play have gained mainstream acceptance and become more popular in recent years, it’s worth considering adding a little anal action to the mix when you’re 69ing.\r\nRELATED: How to Give a Rim Job, Explained\r\nOf course, not everyone is comfortable having their anus stimulated — particularly without warning — so don’t just try it at random without getting their consent. Instead, ask your partner if that’s something they’d be open to beforehand, and then ask again in the heat of the moment to confirm that they’re OK with it.\r\nDepending on your height match-up, you might be able to reach your partner’s anus with your tongue while they’re still going down on you; if not, you could use your fingers (or a sex toy) to stimulate it instead.\r\n“Just use lots of lube if you’ll be going inside,” says O’Reilly. She adds that you can “pulse your thumb gently against the pucker on the outside, use a vibrating toy against the perineum, [or] slide your head through and lick around on the outside.”\r\n\r\n69 Variations\r\n\r\nTraditional 69\r\n\r\nHere, the bigger and heavier partner lies on their back, while the smaller and lighter partner is on top, either lying on their partner’s chest or propping themselves up on their knees and/or elbows. The bottom partner can grasp the top partner’s buttocks for stability and/or if it arouses their partner; spanking is also an easy option in this scenario.\r\nSideways 69\r\n\r\nA less common but still fairly straightforward variant of the 69 is to do it sideways. This is a good option if neither partner can take the other’s weight, if you’re dealing with a slimmer surface where a top partner couldn’t full extend their knees, or simply if you want to experiment with a different mode of 69ing. It functions essentially just like a traditional 69, except both partners are lying on their sides facing each other.\r\nThe Upside-Down 69\r\n\r\nFinally, for truly courageous couples, there’s the upside-down 69. This variant requires either a very strong bottom partner capable of holding the other one up in the air for extended periods, or a bar or other secure contraption from which the top partner can dangle. Unless you’re gymnasts, you probably shouldn’t try this at home, since it requires a fair amount of physical coordination, some comfort being upside down, and a decent amount of risk of injury for the top partner. Still … it is nice to think about.\r\nWhatever type of 69 you decide to get up to, congrats on getting to enjoy one of the most famous sex acts around!\r\nAll illustrations by Carlee Ranger.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tThe Best Sex Positions According to Sexologists\r\n\tWhat to Know About Ejaculation Etiquette\r\n\tAll the Sex Slang You Need to Know", "keywords": "How, 69:, Mutual, Oral, Sex, Etiquette", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/429_69-etiquette/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1761319129.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/429_69-etiquette.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104320", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: What If Your Crush Has an OnlyFans?", "title_slug": "str8curious-what-if-your-crush-has-an-onlyfans", "title_hash": "6c42cd481c39d2b89917f2c61b04b421", "summary": "My Crush Has an OnlyFans and I Hate It. What Should I Do?", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\r\nThe Question\r\n“I am exploring my bicuriosity and recently went on a few dates with a guy who I’m really starting to like. The only problem is that he recently revealed that he is an OnlyFans creator. This took me by surprise and completely changed my perception of him. Call me old-fashioned, but am I in the wrong for not being more open-minded about this? It doesn’t seem like something he wants to give up.” - Luke, Grand Rapids, MI \r\nThe Answer\r\nYou’re not old-fashioned, Luke. That word is reserved for MAGA cultists masquerading as Republicans, Quaker Oats, and a delicious whiskey-based cocktail. The word you meant to say was “self-aware.” \r\nI’m never here to yuck someone’s yum, especially when it comes to most things that are sexual in nature. After all, there is something hot about being voyeuristic and something even hotter about being paid to be this way. But we all have our preferences, comfort levels, and limits, especially when it comes to dating and pursuing a potential love interest who makes a living on OnlyFans. \r\nIf you’re seeking monogamy and are unable to surrender to the idea that someone may do porn (either soft or hardcore) as a part- or even full-time career, that is a-OK. You must, first and foremost, always respect your own boundaries. \r\nOf course every situation is different and, before writing off this guy entirely, I implore you to be open and honest with him and ask some important questions like: Is he able to emotionally detach from his work? What are his own rules and policies (i.e. is he getting gangbanged every week or just wanking on camera)? Does he only believe in open relationships? \r\nThis clarity will help to provide your own clarity regarding what you are or aren’t comfortable with in the long run. And, if you like the dude enough, it may just open your mind to new and exciting possibilities. I’m not saying that you’ll eventually follow suit, but some people are turned on by the idea that their partner is in adult entertainment. \r\nWith all that said, don’t pressure yourself to partake in anything that doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t make you a judgmental person — compatibility is a complex thing, which is why it can sometimes take months or even years to reach a place where two peoples’ lives completely intertwine. \r\nIt may also help to understand why some gay, bi, or pan men get into the business to begin with. Sure, it can be quite lucrative with quick cash incentivizing participation, but every case is different. While some enjoy the supplemental or primary income (though it’s never a guarantee), others simply enjoy the sex. \r\nThen there are those who crave the attention, and others who take part begrudgingly because they feel like it’s all they have to offer the world. \r\nNo matter the reason, it’s not your job to “save” someone like the infamous memes of handsome felons behind bars. Changing a person or thing to fit a mold or satisfy a selfish demand is always a recipe for disaster. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThis Is What Porn Stars’ Dating Lives Are Really LikeBonnie Blue, Lily Phillips & the OnlyFans Marathon Sex Stunt TrendWhat It's Like to Be Married to a Porn Star, Revealed", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, What, Your, Crush, Has, OnlyFans", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-experiences/str8curious-what-if-your-crush-has-an-onlyfans/askmen-lead-image-2x1-3-1761340245.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-experiences/str8curious-what-if-your-crush-has-an-onlyfans.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104321", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Long Should You Wait Before Asking for a Second Date?", "title_slug": "how-long-should-you-wait-before-asking-for-a-second-date", "title_hash": "b60e376cc2be7dd56eff05f64cf398b4", "summary": "Waiting 3 Days After a Date Is Crazy Work. Here's How Long You Should Wait to Suggest the Next One", "content": "You just had a really nice first date. They were even more attractive in person than online, the conversation was flowing and felt natural, and you never wanted the evening to end. \r\nWhether it ended with a goodnight kiss, a steamy first-date hookup or just a hug and a promise to do it again soon, you know that it went well and you really want to see them again… preferably soon. \r\nRELATED: Signs Your First Date Was a Success \r\nBut how long should you wait to suggest a second date without appearing too eager or uninterested? Here’s what experts have to say. \r\n\r\nShould You Ask for a Second Date Right Away or Wait? \r\n\r\nThere’s a difference between expressing interest in seeing someone again and officially making plans for a second date. You should first share your desire to see them again, either at the end of your date or the next day. While some dating tropes or old-school advice givers may have once suggested waiting three days before reaching out, times have changed. In the era of texting, DMing and FaceTiming, there’s no need to wait. \r\n“Wait no more than 24 hours to suggest seeing each other again. And that doesn't necessarily mean having a day and time to suggest within 24 hours. It simply means sharing that you would like to see them again,” says certified dating coach Stevie Bowen. “You can share it at the end of the first date if you're feeling confident, or wait to suggest it in the thank-you text you send them after meeting. Either way is right.” \r\nThat way, you can find out if they’re interested in a second date before spending days thinking of a plan only to be met with disappointment if they don’t want to go out with you again. And you won’t leave your date wondering where they stand either. \r\nRELATED: Common Dating Mistakes Men Make in the First Few Dates\r\n\r\nHow to Suggest a Second Date Without Sounding Pushy \r\n\r\nAs Bowen notes, the point is to communicate your interest without being pushy. There are different ways to go about this. \r\n“If you’re thinking at any time during the first date that things are going well and that you would like to explore more of who this person is, finish that date with a simple, ‘I would enjoy seeing you again soon,’” says therapist, coach and counselor John Sovec. “Don’t press for the next date, just set the groundwork and the intention.”\r\nIf you’re reaching out the next day, communicating what you genuinely appreciated about the date is warm and genuine without being over-the-top. \r\n“Reflect on the positives of the date, such as, ‘I really enjoyed learning about your amazing taste in music’ and then be simple and succinct and let them know you would like to see them again soon,” adds Sovec. \r\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Texting and Dating \r\nIf they share your interest in a second date, great – you can now confidently suggest a plan or have a follow-up conversation to pick a day, time and activity together. \r\n\r\nWhat If You Feel Nervous About Suggesting a Second Date? \r\n\r\nFeeling nervous? Take a step back and assess why. Do you feel pressured to follow up quickly? Are you having second thoughts after a great first date? \r\n“Don't ask to see someone again because you feel like you have to or that's dating etiquette. Allow yourself some time to process the date and gauge your interest going forward,” suggests Bowen. \r\nPerhaps you’re a bit anxious about what it means if you suggest a second date. \r\nDr. Betsy Chung, clinical psychologist and relationship expert at RAW dating app, says a second date shouldn’t have much more meaning than a first one: “Just because you’re asking somebody to go out again doesn’t mean you’re asking for a relationship.” \r\nIt’s OK to keep exploring your connection, as one date isn’t enough to get to know someone and figure out whether you’re compatible.\r\nAre you worried about their response? \r\nIt may not be what you want to hear, but accepting failure is part of the process of dating, adds Chung: “When you start to nitpick yourself because things didn’t go your way, all that does is discourage you from taking necessary risks to find your person. Trust that as long as you can respect a person’s boundaries, then you shouldn’t have to worry about appearing overeager.” \r\nPlaying it cool may seem tempting, but being true to yourself is a better choice. \r\n“Be honest with what you’re feeling and go for it,” says Sovec. “At the same time, release any expectation or anticipation and gracefully receive whatever answer they offer. Being nervous is expected, but being authentic about feelings can go a long way toward overcoming nerves and setting the foundation for a powerful future relationship.”\r\nRELATED: Understanding the Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability\r\nWhat if it’s been a week or two and you’re still thinking about them, but never followed up after your first date? Don’t let that stop you. \r\nAs Chung puts it, the goal is to “find a partner that can appreciate all parts of you, and won’t rush to negative judgment simply because of how you decided to ask for another date.” \r\nUltimately, it’s important not to overthink it. Dating is full of small risks, and asking for a second date is one of them. If you feel interested in seeing them again, just tell them, whether on the spot or when you contact them after your date. \r\nIf they feel the same, see where that second date takes you. If they don’t, you’ll know quickly and be able to free up energy for meeting other people. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nDating Mistakes That Make Men Seem 'Thirsty'Signs She Actually Likes You and Is Not Just Being PoliteHere’s How You’re Going to Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection", "keywords": "How, Long, Should, You, Wait, Before, Asking, for, Second, Date", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-long-should-you-wait-before-asking-for-a-second-date/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1761339946.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-long-should-you-wait-before-asking-for-a-second-date.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104322", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Can Cheating Be Healthy for a Relationship?", "title_slug": "can-cheating-be-healthy-for-a-relationship", "title_hash": "ff4ab4fdb0100ea23bdf9aa56437b398", "summary": "It goes without saying that cheating is one of the most devastating of betrayals. \r\nBut what if your relationship survives it — and actually ends up stronger in the end? Can cheating have any benefits? Experts certainly don’t condone cheating — full stop. \r\nRELATED: The Different Levels of Cheating\r\nThat said, it is worth considering that the consequences can actually be positive in some situations.\r\n“Having an affair in a monogamous relationship is not advised, but good can come from it,” explains Gregory Jones, a psychologist, certified sex therapist, and founder of the Capital Center for Psychotherapy and Wellness.\r\nSo, can cheating be healthy for a relationship? Here’s what experts have to say.\r\n\r\nAre There Any Benefits to Cheating?\r\n\r\nCheating happens for a reason — very often, the person who commits the indiscretion is feeling unseen, unheard, unvalued, or unfulfilled in the relationship but is unwilling to communicate that dissatisfaction to their partner.\r\n\"An infidelity will s", "content": "It goes without saying that cheating is one of the most devastating of betrayals. \r\nBut what if your relationship survives it — and actually ends up stronger in the end? Can cheating have any benefits? Experts certainly don’t condone cheating — full stop. \r\nRELATED: The Different Levels of Cheating\r\nThat said, it is worth considering that the consequences can actually be positive in some situations.\r\n“Having an affair in a monogamous relationship is not advised, but good can come from it,” explains Gregory Jones, a psychologist, certified sex therapist, and founder of the Capital Center for Psychotherapy and Wellness.\r\nSo, can cheating be healthy for a relationship? Here’s what experts have to say.\r\n\r\nAre There Any Benefits to Cheating?\r\n\r\nCheating happens for a reason — very often, the person who commits the indiscretion is feeling unseen, unheard, unvalued, or unfulfilled in the relationship but is unwilling to communicate that dissatisfaction to their partner.\r\n\"An infidelity will shine a spotlight on cracks in the foundation of a relationship,” says Jones.\r\nRELATED: How to Forgive After Being Cheated On\r\nIn other words, if a couple tends to “sweep things under the rug,” cheating can force them to face underlying issues that may have been festering for a while.\r\n“This clarity can lead to sincere connection,” says Arkadiy Volkov, a registered psychotherapist and clinical director at Feel Your Way Therapy.\r\nNot only that, but Volkov notes that cheating can encourage both partners to be more radically honest and more vulnerable, by prompting them to more candidly discuss their fears, desires, and needs. \r\n“When couples are willing to face what’s been missing, or what’s been taken for granted in a partnership, infidelity can oftentimes be a wake-up call,” says Tammy Nelson, a certified sexologist and sex therapist, and licensed professional counselor. \r\nFor example, she says, “it can open up communication around revisiting monogamy agreements with new boundaries that may better suit current needs. Frequently, these are conversations that may have been avoided for years.”\r\nIt can also motivate both people to acknowledge the efforts they need to make in order to ensure their partner feels cared for, desired, and appreciated.\r\n“Betrayal is a reminder that love requires maintenance and work,” he adds. \r\nAccording to Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert at the Hily dating app, cheating can also provide an opportunity to break out of a period of stagnation in the relationship. \r\n“Couples can exist for years frozen in the resentment/withdrawal cycle until an act of infidelity, which can pull them out of their stasis,” she explains. “Infidelity often provides all couples with an ultimatum: you either put in more effort to get closer and repair your severed bond, or you break up.”\r\nEither choice, Romanoff says “is a pivotal moment of growth and brings each person closer to living more authentically with what they want for themselves and their relationship.”\r\nRELATED: People Who Cheated Reflect on What They Regret\r\n\r\nCan Cheating Be Healthy?\r\n\r\nFor some couples, cheating is a rupture that destroys intimacy beyond repair. But others actually report feeling closer to each other, says Romanoff — that is, after they’ve done some serious work to rebuild trust.“In couples I've worked with, I've seen quite a few times that infidelity forces them to bring relationship issues out in the open,” says Volkov. “It could be issues that have been quietly destroying their relationship for years.”\r\nIn some cases, he says, “such a crisis can become a turning point for a couple — but only when both partners are truly willing to understand what happened and to face it and do the work.”\r\nStill, let’s be clear: Just because cheating, in some cases, can have potential long-term benefits doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. \r\nRELATED: Here's How to Tell Your Partner You Cheated\r\n“It is not because of the affair that a relationship benefits — it is because of what happens afterwards,” Volkov adds. “It is less about the act itself and more about what it reveals.”\r\n\r\nWhy You Shouldn’t Cheat to Change Your Relationship\r\n\r\nUltimately, experts agree that even if cheating could have a positive impact on your relationship in the long run, you should never use it as a catalyst for change. \r\nWhy put someone you love through emotional trauma, when there are so many healthier, less destructive ways to improve your relationship?\r\n“No one should ever cheat to try to fix things,” says Volkov. “It would be like burning the house down when you just want to renovate.”\r\nBesides, it’s a risky move: very often, a relationship cannot rebound from these kinds of betrayals. In fact, according to research by the American Psychological Association, more than half of married couples (53%) who experienced infidelity were divorced within 5 years — even after undergoing therapy.\r\n“Cheating in most cases initiates the process of a break up, through the pathways of broken trust, resentment, and deep hurt,” explains Romanoff. “Most couples are unable to veer off of this path once they set foot on the path of infidelity.” \r\nFor these reasons, it’s better to focus on communicating issues to your partner that are prompting your temptation to cheat. And if you’re struggling to share your feelings for any reason, consider reaching out for support from a couples therapist, who can help to facilitate a productive conversation.\r\n“Betrayal won't solve the problems,” adds Volkov. “It is never a tool for growth or healing but can be an opportunity for transformation in the relationship only after the damage is done and if the people are brave enough and have enough will to confront the pain and rebuild.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nSigns That She’s Cheating, RevealedWhat Is Micro-Cheating? Understanding This Risky Relationship BehaviorThe Different Types of Cheating, Explained", "keywords": "Can, Cheating, Healthy, for, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2018/05/22-055128-can_cheating_be_healthy_for_a_relationship.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/1.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104319", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskFemme: What Should I Do About My Cheating Fantasy?", "title_slug": "askfemme-what-should-i-do-about-my-cheating-fantasy", "title_hash": "f6b724158347c61a6cd75e2443ec1ef7", "summary": "I Love My Girlfriend, but I'm So Turned on by Fantasies of Cheating. Am I a Bad Person?", "content": "Welcome to AskFemme, our new sex column that’s all about demystifying female desire. My name is Sophie Saint Thomas, and I’m going to be answering all your sex questions — because for all the men who sleep with women, the best advice for getting better in bed is going to come from a woman. I will do my best to be nice, but one thing I won’t be is dishonest. Women still aren’t having enough orgasms, and men still seem super confused about that, so the point of this column is to help bridge that gap with some genuine openness and clarity about the nitty-gritty of sex.\r\nThe Question:\r\n“Dear AskFemme. I love my girlfriend, but I'm so turned on by a cheating fantasy. What should I do?” - Carl, 35\r\nThe Answer:\r\nDear Carl,\r\nI know you likely think I’m going to shame you for wanting this, but if that is part of your kink, you’re going to be disappointed. \r\nThis fantasy makes complete sense to me. We’re humans. All of us, regardless of gender, are attracted to people other than a partner. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or want your girlfriend, of course not.\r\n(But on the off chance that that actually is the case, you can easily solve that by breaking up with her.)\r\nLet’s assume you are still into her, as I suspect, and you’re just horny. \r\nThe popular advice these days is to practice some form of non-monogamy. Because it’s become much more normalized in recent years, it’s far from shameful or shocking. \r\nYou could even come out as poly with a TikTok dance. You could put on some rabbit ears and attend poly cocktail evenings. You and your partner could express your compersion by giving one another high-fives before you go on dates with other people. \r\nI know what you’re thinking, Carl. Where’s the passion!? Where’s the sneaking!? Where’s the railing some hot redhead in a bar bathroom!?\r\nSadly, I don’t think you should just. There are just too many things that could go wrong and ruin the fantasy. You could be so drunk in that bar bathroom that you forgo a condom and end up giving your girlfriend gonorrhea. You could get caught (because everyone gets caught) and your girlfriend could end the relationship, breaking your heart. \r\nThen she’ll probably find and DM the person you cheated with, who will make some tell-all confession in a very long caption about five things she did as a side piece while smashing a mirror, and you’ll still end up on TikTok despite never having attended any poly cocktails.\r\nRELATED: We Got Cheaters to Share Their Regrets\r\nThe thing about non-monogamy is that it doesn’t have to be corny. It doesn’t even have to be ethical, if you do it ethically. \r\nWhat if you and your girlfriend agree to let each other “cheat?” You get a hall pass, in other words. You’ll still have to talk and get her to agree to it, but you can still enjoy the open part of your newly open relationship through spontaneity, which is largely what makes cheating so appealing… that and the newness of someone else. \r\nYes, this means that your girlfriend also gets to cheat. If you’re man enough to accept that, for your own part, wear a condom, of course, and tell the person you “cheat” with that you’re in a relationship, so it doesn’t all explode in your face. \r\nBut yeah, you can enjoy an open relationship by picking up a hot stranger in a bar, rather than attending a sex-positive event with a theme. If you want to play at an advanced level, you could hire a sex worker to play out your cheating fantasy. \r\nNow that’s a really great idea. You know the sex will be good, she’ll know all about safer sex, and you avoid any potential emotional messiness. \r\nIf the above sounds completely unappealing to you, and it’s the actual lying and risk that comes with it, that’s where we have a real problem. \r\nIt’s normal to be into the idea of sleeping with shiny new other people with abandon, and it’s normal to be into things that feel taboo or wrong. \r\nBut if you’re so turned on by the idea of being a bad person that you think you need to engage in hurtful, deceitful behavior to be happy, I think what you really need is some healing. Hint, hint, solo sex therapy. Both you and your girlfriend deserve better. \r\nI hope you chose the right option. But if you do go ahead and actually cheat, I look forward to seeing you on TikTok. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCan Cheating Be Healthy for a Relationship? How to Tell Her You CheatedNever Have I Ever: Cheated on Someone", "keywords": "AskFemme:, What, Should, About, Cheating, Fantasy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/askfemme-what-should-i-do-about-my-cheating-fantasy/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1761340090.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/askfemme-what-should-i-do-about-my-cheating-fantasy.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "104313", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Intimacy Starts with Friendship", "title_slug": "intimacy-starts-with-friendship", "title_hash": "4d6c4ad389d40bc4a19c84f87baf232d", "summary": "Your friendship with your spouse can reignite closeness and intimacy. After all, intimacy isn't just about sex.\nThe post Intimacy Starts with Friendship appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Your friendship with your spouse can reignite closeness and intimacy. After all, intimacy isn't just about sex.

The post Intimacy Starts with Friendship appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Intimacy, Starts, with, Friendship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "54", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Screenshot-2025-10-23-at-5.15.53-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/intimacy-starts-with-friendship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-27 08:39:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "103917", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Am Cheating On My Girlfriend But That’s Not The Point", "title_slug": "i-am-cheating-on-my-girlfriend-but-thats-not-the-point", "title_hash": "7103ba7b9373224b2e8e4284708ec9b1", "summary": "My relationship with my girlfriend has been on and off for some time now. Mostly I tell myself I am done but because of the love I have for her, …", "content": "

My relationship with my girlfriend has been on and off for some time now. Mostly I tell myself I am done but because of the love I have for her, I keep going back. She has told me things about her past that haunt me. That’s why I struggle to fully commit to her. I have always felt that one day she would pull the rug from under me and break my heart. So I have been guarded around throughout the relationship.

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We were serious about each other but I could never fully trust her. Apart from her past, something about her kept nagging me that she was being unfaithful. I didn’t have proof but I could feel it deep down in my heart.

I would admit, I was running my own show on the side. She is not my only woman. I have another girlfriend she doesn’t know about. That’s not the point though. She is the focus here, not me.

One day, I went to visit her. We were talking and vibing when all of a sudden she got up and said she had to step out briefly. “I am going to see someone just here… I will be back soon,” she informed me.

I waited for her till it got dark. When I called and asked where she was, she claimed she had to attend a birthday party. I didn’t believe her. Her background on the call was too silent to be a birthday party. By the time she returned, it was almost midnight.

I waited for her to sleep then I checked her. I wasn’t wrong. My guts were warning me all along. My woman was truly cheating on me. Something inside me broke.

When I confronted her, she was remorseful. She said it was a mistake. “It won’t happen again, I am sorry.” She broke things off with the other guy. She then deleted all her contacts and her Facebook account to prove that she was serious.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

The reason I stayed is that I knew I was also cheating. I felt I didn’t have any moral right to judge her. I was even feeling guilty that hers had ended while I was still holding on to mine in the shadows.

Besides, I still love her. The only problem is that I can’t seem to forgive her completely, even though a part of me believes she’s changed. Do you think there’s a way I can completely get over what she has done for our relationship to be good? I want to make things work.

—Dulah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Cheating, Girlfriend, But, That’s, Not, The, Point", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/06b6ae03-66b1-4922-9cd3-190bf851b968.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-am-cheating-on-my-girlfriend-but-thats-not-the-point/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-23 06:59:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "103368", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Things To Say in Bed That Turn a Man’s Mind On (Not Just His Body)", "title_slug": "5-things-to-say-in-bed-that-turn-a-mans-mind-on-not-just-his-body", "title_hash": "618edab33825835adeeff40e24474949", "summary": "You ever notice how some moments feel electric, but not because of what you’re doing… more like, what’s…", "content": "You ever notice how some moments feel electric, but not because of what you’re doing… more like, what’s…", "keywords": ", Things, Say, Bed, That, Turn, Man’s, Mind, Not, Just, His, Body", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/couple-in-love.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/5-things-to-say-in-bed-that-turn-a-mans-mind-on/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-23 06:24:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "103367", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Signs Of a Nervous Breakdown In a Woman", "title_slug": "12-signs-of-a-nervous-breakdown-in-a-woman", "title_hash": "f74fc753b63c1c88e59da8f191e896ec", "summary": "It’s weird how you can be holding it all together… until one day you’re just not. There’s this…", "content": "It’s weird how you can be holding it all together… until one day you’re just not. There’s this…", "keywords": ", Signs, Nervous, Breakdown, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/sad-woman-alone.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-signs-of-a-nervous-breakdown-in-a-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-23 06:24:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "103366", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When a Married Woman Is Obsessed With Another Man, She Does 9 Things", "title_slug": "when-a-married-woman-is-obsessed-with-another-man-she-does-9-things", "title_hash": "ab8d92803806288ab2f53e7ace056049", "summary": "It doesn’t always start loud. Sometimes it’s quiet, a thought, a look, a small moment that lasts a…", "content": "It doesn’t always start loud. Sometimes it’s quiet, a thought, a look, a small moment that lasts a…", "keywords": "When, Married, Woman, Obsessed, With, Another, Man, She, Does, Things", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Doesnt-Always-Mean-e1756075258527.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/when-a-married-woman-is-obsessed-with-another-man-she-does-9-things/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-23 06:24:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "103365", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Run a Faster 5K", "title_slug": "how-to-run-a-faster-5k", "title_hash": "da2be3db3fe8f6ac4b1922d06ffb689d", "summary": "4 Simple Training Approaches to Beating Your Personal Best 5K Time", "content": "Whether you’re a young runner trying to be more competitive in races or a recent convert to running via the bevy of popular “couch to 5K” programs out there, there will come a time when you’re no longer satisfied with just being able to run for five kilometers straight and instead want to do it fast, or at least faster than you previously could manage. That’s called growth and it’s totally natural, but it does beg the question: how exactly do you improve your 5K times?\r\nThe path to faster running speeds isn’t perfectly linear, especially over longer distances, and it’s incredibly easy to fumble your training and actually set yourself for failure by increasing your risk of injury or fatiguing your muscles from an excess of training volume. Your mantra should be to train smarter rather than train harder, at least initially, and it pays to have some general guidelines to follow.\r\nRELATED: Best Running Shoes\r\nWith that being said, here’s some actionable advice to help you drop your times and pass the competition.\r\n\r\nHow to Set a New Personal Best in a 5K Run\r\n\r\nIt starts with getting quantitative. You can become a reasonably good runner just winging it, provided you’re consistent and working hard, but setting new personal bests will require fine tuning your approach, and that means using numbers. \r\nEstablish Your Baseline\r\nBefore you can set a goal, you have to have a benchmark, a rough idea of your starting pace for running five kilometers. And getting this isn’t as straightforward as you might think, especially if you don’t just run around a track all the time. Variables like atmosphere, weather conditions, elevation, running surface and more can all have an impact on your times, irrespective of your running ability.\r\nIf you don’t already time your runs, it’s time to start doing that. Almost every popular running app, most of which can be paired with a lightweight wearable tracker, can do this for you, automating the hard stuff and spitting out numbers like distance, time and pace, but we’re going to go one step further and encourage you to collect a bunch of data, across multiple runs, and then take an average 5K time. That average is now your benchmark, the goal time you’re trying to beat.\r\nIncrease Your Training Volume\r\nNow that you have a benchmark, the next step is to adjust your training volume accordingly. There are two main variables we can manipulate here: duration of run and number of runs per week. If you’re only going for a run two or three times a week, it’s time to bump that up to four or five times a week. If you only ever run a 5K and then stop, it’s time to gradually increase the distance, regardless of whether or not your pace drops off.\r\nYour muscles and cardiovascular system respond to both intensity and volume, and adding volume is a fantastic and relatively risk-free way to prepare your body for what you’re asking of it. Of course, you can’t go crazy here. The Rocky approach, of going from lackadaisical to beast mode overnight, is a recipe for injury, not victory. Be modest in your approach, adding a kilometer here or there, or a single added run per week, and you’ll reap the rewards sooner than you think. \r\nIncorporate Interval Training\r\nWe mentioned that volume is one of the two main variables you can play with to take your training to new heights; intensity is the other variable, and when it comes to getting faster, it’s also extremely important. \r\nObviously, when it comes to speed, sprinting (basically running at your maximum effort) is the gold standard, but sprinting is also extremely taxing on the body, necessitating longer recovery times. That’s why interval training is such a game-changer. By simply interspersing jogging and sprinting intervals in a single workout, you can reap many of the benefits of sprinting without overly taxing your body with a full sprint workout. Moreover, that rapid change in intensity and effort mimics the conditions of real-life running, especially competition running, when you might have to tackle an uphill portion of a run or use a burst of speed to pass a competitor.\r\nEase into your interval training, with large gaps between sprint sessions and minimal sprint durations, gradually increasing the sprint time and decreasing the interval length as you get accustomed to the new intensity. \r\nShed Excess Fat\r\nThis one is kind of a no-brainer, but many beginners overlook it or fail to prioritize it. If you watch high-level running competitions, whether professional or amateur, you’ll see body types tend to standardize. Sprinters are buff; distance runners are extremely lean; absolutely no one is carrying excess body fat, for the obvious reason that body fat is just dead weight when you’re trying to run faster or longer. \r\nA drop of even five pounds can make a very large difference in optimizing your running stride, helping you gain speed and expend less energy, so consider auditing your diet and finding easy ways to drop unnecessary calories (dessert and sugary drinks are a great place to start). Many a runner has been totally shocked at how minor changes in their body composition can result in major improvements in their times, and for beginner runners especially, this is the lowest of the low hanging fruit.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Get Proper Running FormBest Trail Running ShoesHow to Teach Yourself Not to Hate Running", "keywords": "How, Run, Faster", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-run-a-faster-5k/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1761068982.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-run-a-faster-5k.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-23 06:24:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "103203", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Wants Me To Compensate Her With GHS2000 For “Lying” To Her", "title_slug": "she-wants-me-to-compensate-her-with-ghs2000-for-lying-to-her", "title_hash": "a61918f05dc309ad093a6861c43b9ae1", "summary": "I met a lady when I was in remedial school. I liked her and I told her. She agreed to be my girlfriend. We’ve been together for about a year …", "content": "

I met a lady when I was in remedial school. I liked her and I told her. She agreed to be my girlfriend. We’ve been together for about a year and a half now. When things started getting serious between us I introduced her to my family. She also introduced me to her sister and other members of her family.

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Although my biological mother was alive at the time, I didn’t know where she was. I grew up with my uncle and his wife. They were the people I knew and accepted as my parents. So when my uncle’s wife died, I told my girlfriend that my mother had died. I didn’t clarify that the person who passed is not my biological mother. I was in a lot of pain and it made me forget to explain the dynamics of my family situation to her.

At the time, we were still in remedial school. She and some of our colleagues came home to offer their sympathies to my family. After the funeral and everything else, it hadn’t dawned on me that I didn’t tell her the woman who died was my uncle’s wife and not my biological mother. Pain had blinded me.

After writing our exams, I passed and made it to the university. That was when I lost my biological mum. It happened just this July. I sent a message to my girlfriend telling her what happened. I seized the opportunity to explain to her that the funeral she attended the first time was for my aunt, the woman who raised me.

“My mother wasn’t present in my life when she got married and started another family. It was my uncle’s wife who raised me as her own. That’s why I consider her as my mother instead of the one who gave birth to me.”

I thought that explanation would help but it didn’t. She became cold and distant toward me instead. She wouldn’t call until I called. Even when I did, she didn’t seem interested in talking to me.

Not knowing she told her mother that I was dishonest with her. When her mother confronted me I apologised. I told her it wasn’t intentional. I apologised to my girlfriend too but she was still giving me the cold shoulder.

After my mother’s funeral I called her and asked, “So if I don’t call you, you won’t call me? It’s as if you accepted my apology but you haven’t forgiven me. Anyway, I just want you to know that you are still the woman I love.”

She admitted that she hadn’t forgiven me. “Before we make things right you have to give me GHS2,000.”

I was surprised. I asked if she was joking but she was serious. She said the lowest she would accept is GHS1,500. “I will collect that money from you before I forgive you.”

Wow! No empathy for a man who lost his mother? I thought I had a woman who would stand by me in my low moments. Someone who would comfort me. A safe space I can turn to when it gets hard.

According to her, her phone was broken and she wanted a new one. She felt that if she asked me to get it for her I wouldn’t. So I should compensate her for lying to her, that way she would use the money to buy a new phone.

All this was happening barely a month after I lost my mum. I was still grieving but my girlfriend was busy trying to extort money from me. When I drew this to her attention, she got defensive. She claimed I was just trying to make her feel guilty.

I called her mother and reported the issue to her. Her mother said she already knew her daughter wanted compensation from me. When I mentioned the amount, the woman laughed and said, “I know you can’t afford that money. How much do you have? Bring it and let me talk to her on your behalf.”

I was so shocked to hear her utter those words. In fact, I lost every iota of respect I had for her there and then. They were trying to pin their financial burdens on me, a student, while my girlfriend’s father was there. Why couldn’t they just ask him to buy his daughter a new phone?

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

One of my friends said it was possible they were testing me. I explained that it wasn’t a test. He then advised that I apologise and tell them I didn’t have money. When I called my girlfriend’s mother, she assured me that she spoke to her daughter and all was forgiven.

I called my girlfriend after that but she didn’t pick up any of my calls. I have decided not to call her again. If this is the reason our relationship would end then that’s fine. My only crime was that I forgot to tell her the first woman who died was not my biological mother. Why should that warrant a compensation of GHS2,000? She should go.

—Ohene

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When we met, we were both unemployed and had nothing to our names. He said he loved me. It was the only thing he could afford: love. I said yes because I saw a man who was trying in him. Before I said yes to his proposal, he tried his best to impress me. He would take me to an eatery, knowing very well that I liked food. He would buy me phone credit or send a little mobile money to my account.

Everyone loves a giving man, and it was those little things that made me say yes to him. Because he gave, I also learned to give. When he took me to an eatery and I had money, I paid. When we sat in a *trotro* to any place, I paid the fare. We were matching each other in giving. We understood our situation in life and felt supporting each other was the best way to go.

He got his first job when our relationship was two years old. It didn’t pay much, but it was a step away from the grass, so we celebrated. For a whole week, we were in a celebratory mood. When his first salary came, he said, “How much do you want? Where do you want to go? Mention the name of the wine you want to drink to pacify your soul, and daddy is here to provide.”

He said this with the swag of a peacock flexing the colors of its tail. We ended up at the same eatery. That day, he talked about marriage for the first time: “If everything goes the way it’s currently going, we should get married next year. I would have saved enough.”

Not long afterwards, I also landed a job. He asked, “What are we waiting for? Let’s get married already.” I answered, “I’m ready tomorrow. What church should I meet you in?”

Months later, I wore a beautiful wedding dress he had bought with his money and walked down the aisle with him. I counted myself lucky because I was marrying a friend, someone I found when we were both on the floor, yet who didn’t give up on us.

Six years into marriage and with two kids later, everything has changed for the worst. My husband is not the man I married, that man I met in the dark soil and sprouted with. He has stopped doing the little things we were both known for doing, though his situation in life is buoyant.

I’ve maintained the same job over the years because it’s flexible and it allows me to be able to take care of the kids. It’s the kind of job where I can call my boss today and say, “I can’t come to work because my child is sick,” and he would give me the day off without any restrictions. I can afford to go in late and leave early in the name of the kids, and they would allow it. With the flexibility comes a low salary, but I’m still with them because of the kids.

On the other hand, my husband has been able to change jobs and climb up the salary rank. Two years ago, his salary was almost GHC20,000, but guess what? He gives me nothing and yet expects me to support the home with my meager salary. He buys beautiful things for himself and leaves us out. You should see the car he drives, the clothes he wears, and the places he goes.

When I complain, he tells me, “Everybody in my family relies on me, so how can I have enough for us?”

He takes care of his two younger siblings in school. He sends good money to his parents while he leaves us out. I’m not saying he shouldn’t do that for his family. I’m saying we are also his family. He can do something for us too.

He’ll pay school fees today and expect me to pay them next term. I would take the kids to the hospital and call for assistance, and he would ask me, “Are you also not their parent?” “Yes, I am their parent, but not the parent with a lot of money.”

He wouldn’t understand. He would come home and complain as if I’d murdered one of the kids. “If you think you can’t take care of them, leave them for me so I know I’m the only parent in their lives.”

So I asked, “What changed? Even when we had nothing, you gave from the little you had, so what changed? Or you no longer love me the way you used to?”

He said love is for kids, and where we are, it’s not love we should think of, but how to feed and raise a family. That doesn’t bother me, his definition of love. If he helped raise the kids and helped us to feed, to me, that would have meant love at its best. They call him from home, and the next minute he calls back and asks, “Have you received the money?” By this time, his family thinks I’m the one spending most of his money, but look at me.

The other time he told me I should change jobs if they don’t pay well. I said, “No problem, I will start chasing money. You don’t have a better certificate than I have. I put my dreams on the side for flexibility’s sake, but look at me in the years to come.”

I’ve decided to send the kids to my mom when I get the new job. If he protests, I will ask him to hire a nanny to take care of them in our absence. I would bury myself in my job just like he does, and then he would know money doesn’t make the family go round, but presence and care that make the family thick.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I don’t wish him bad. It’s his money, and he chooses how to spend it. I hope he doesn’t complain when I start making mine and start calling the shots in my life. I hope he doesn’t come screaming, “I’m the man of the house,” because I gave him the opportunity to be the man and he failed. I love him. I watch him and want him to just see the man he’s become and change, but to him, I should be my own woman rather than being his wife. Time will tell.

—Jane

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******

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Although I am a youth executive, I don’t usually attend evening services anymore. My inconsistency began when I got married. My husband doesn’t like it when I go church to start with. So he complains bitterly whenever I go in the evenings. However, recently I had to attend because I was scheduled to serve as the MC for our youth service.

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I informed my husband the day before and reminded him again on the very day of the service. He watched me leave without saying anything. Only for me to close and meet our front door was locked. I knocked several times, but he refused to open it.

He watched me through the window and said, “Go back to where you came from. There’s no way I will open the door for you.” Our baby was strapped to my back. There was a power outage, and mosquitoes were biting us outside but he left us out there.

Fortunately, my mother lives nearby. When I realized he wouldn’t change his mind, I went to spend the night at her end. So what if my mum lived far away?

The next morning she called my husband and confronted him about his behaviour. He was not remorseful. He was even rude to my mother. She was shocked. “Your husband is so disrespectful,” she said in disbelief.

The next morning, he called to tell me to inform my parents that he would like to have a meeting with them because he’s tired of me and wants to know his stand in the marriage.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

He often goes to work without leaving any money for food or other family needs. He only contributes when he feels like it. His actions have made the marriage unbearable for me. His sister is living with us and does things her own way, but he refuses to correct her. His choice of words is also very hurtful.

I have no peace of mind. I keep asking myself if I made the wrong choice. He doesn’t seem to care about me or my well-being. My job posting is currently at risk, yet he shows no concern. He says he can’t help me because he didn’t study the same course as I did. I feel neglected, lonely, and confused. Where did I go wrong in this marriage?

—Dzifa

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My ex-boyfriend says he wants to take me to Aunty Naa because he believes I was bitter about our breakup. According to him, I didn’t handle the end of our relationship “maturely.” But let me tell you what really happened.

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When we were dating, I was good to him. I loved him so much; I showered him with everything I had. All that was mine automatically became his too. I had a solid job that paid well, a beautiful apartment, and a car I barely drove because the roads in Ghana terrified me. He drove that car like it was his own, practically lived in my apartment, and contributed next to nothing financially. The only support I ever got from him came in the form of birthday gifts and the occasional Christmas present. That was it.

But love is like that sometimes. You give, you pour, you invest, and you hope it means something.

He cheated on me with a coworker, and when I found out, he gave her my number to call me. She said, “It’s nothing; we’re just friends. Nothing is going on between us.” That call was pure gaslighting. I don’t know if she thought I was a fool or just desperate enough to believe her. But I wasn’t. I left that relationship after that incident. I didn’t curse him out, I didn’t cry, and I didn’t even say much. The next year, I relocated to the United States to start over and embrace the new opportunities life had to offer.

Then one day, out of nowhere, I received a lengthy message from this man. He narrated his entire ordeal since I left. According to him, life has been unbearable. He lost his job, he’s drowning in debt, and he confessed that he stole money from his workplace. He said he’s currently hiding in his village. He also said his family went to consult their gods, and they claimed I had taken him somewhere spiritually because I was heartbroken. They believe that unless I return to Ghana and break him out of whatever bottle they think he’s trapped in, his life will never improve.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

He went further to say that I wasn’t mature about the breakup, and since I want to destroy his life, he will destroy mine too. He threatened to go on a smear campaign against me if I don’t come down and buy the items the shrine is requesting to break the curse on his head. I laughed. I haven’t taken this man anywhere. In fact, I didn’t even cry or say anything out of pain when we broke up, so this whole situation is bizarre. I don’t even understand why he thinks I’m responsible and not the other women he cheated with.

I’m not going to Ghana for any of that nonsense, but I am worried. He says he will take me to Aunty Naa. But I’m a wife now, a mother, and a very private person. I haven’t told my mum yet because she is a volcano waiting to erupt, and if I involve her, she will finish this man without blinking. This ex of mine is truly awful, and I believe he will do exactly what he has threatened. I don’t doubt for a second that he will go to any media station just to get my attention.

I truly need advice. I want to protect my peace, my privacy, and my family. I want to handle this without drama, but I also want to be safe.

—Abigail

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White America is tired of racism.

They’re not tired of being racist, mind you. But they’re certainly tired of hearing about it. Tired of having to think about it. Tired of being told that systems built by white people to oppress everyone else are still doing exactly what they were designed to do.

They’re so tired of racism, in fact, that many have convinced themselves that the real racism is racism against white people.

And the Supreme Court? They’re tired, too—tired of pretending they have to care. They’re tired of race-based remedies to systemic racism and are looking for a way out.

That’s why the Court is poised to rule in a case called Louisiana v. Callais that Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act must be unconstitutional if compliance requires race-conscious remedies. This is the only part of the law with any teeth left, and it requires efforts like, say, looking at where Black people actually live when drawing congressional maps.

If that sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is.

The case that could kill Section 2

Listening to oral arguments in Callais on Oct. 15 was infuriating. The Voting Rights Act was passed in 1965 to make the 15th Amendment, which had been ratified in 1870, mean something. It was meant to stop states from doing exactly what they’re still doing: finding creative new ways to keep Black people from voting.

Callais is basically a rerun of Allen v. Milligan, a 2023 case where Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Brett Kavanaugh joined the liberals in ruling that Alabama’s racist electoral map violated Section 2 and agreeing with a lower court that a second majority-Black district was required.

Louisiana did the same thing as Alabama—cracked and packed Black voters until a lower court made them draw a second-majority Black district. That should have been the end of it.

So why is the Court revisiting this issue? Because the conservatives on this Court can’t stand the idea that anti-racism doesn’t come with an expiration date. They’ve decided that the real question isn’t whether Black voters are being disenfranchised; it’s whether fixing that disenfranchisement might hurt white feelings.

That’s the shift: Acknowledging race to undo racism now counts as racism. In their world, taking race into account to make things fair is somehow worse than centuries of using race to keep things unequal.

The Kavanaugh clock

Enter Brett “Let’s Wrap Up Racism” Kavanaugh.

Kavanaugh has been itching to put an expiration date on anti-racism. In his concurrence in Milligan, Kavanaugh basically said, ‘Sure, fine, we’ll let you fix racism for now, but don’t take too long. We can’t keep this up forever.’

”The authority to conduct race-based redistricting cannot extend indefinitely into the future,” he wrote, paraphrasing Justice Clarence Thomas—another surefire vote to gut Section 2.

Now, in Callais, Kavanaugh is asking the question point-blank: When can we stop caring about racism? During oral arguments, Kavanaugh mused about how long race-conscious remedies have been allowed. “Decades,” he said as if this country has been attacking racism since forever.

“[T]his Court’s cases in a variety of contexts have said that race-based remedies are permissible for a period of time, sometimes for a long period of time, decades in some cases, but that they should not be indefinite and should have an end point,” Kavanaugh said, before asking, “And what exactly do you think the end point should be?”

Translation: How long must we keep doing this anti-racism thing? How long before Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act can finally be sunsetted?

I’ll tell you Brett: 334 years. If that’s really what we’re doing—if we’re setting a timer on Black liberation—then let’s do the math.

The math

Two hundred forty-six years of slavery.

Eighty-eight years of Jim Crow.

That’s 334 years of state-sanctioned white supremacy in the United States—of laws, policies, and violence designed to keep Black people from voting, owning property, and even looking at white people the wrong way.

So, fine. If we’re putting the Voting Rights Act on a clock, then it should stay in place for at least 334 years. That means the Court can sunset Section 2 in the year 2299.

Until then, Justice Kanavaugh, kindly shut the hell up with the insinuation that race-conscious remedies need an expiration date.

Post-racial, my Black ass

The Supreme Court has been building toward this moment for over a decade. Callais is the sequel to Shelby County v. Holder, the 2013 case that saw Roberts take a big swing at the Voting Rights Act. Roberts wrote a majority decision gutting Sections 4 and 5 of the Voting Rights Act—the parts that required states with long histories of racism to get federal approval before changing their voting laws—because, as he claimed, “things have changed dramatically.”

“Our country has changed,” Roberts wrote. “And while any racial discrimination in voting is too much, Congress must ensure that the legislation it passes to remedy that problem speaks to current conditions.” He also said that “blatantly discriminatory evasions of federal decrees are rare.”

Almost immediately, that turned out to be false.

Within days of the Shelby decision, Texas, Mississippi, and Alabama announced plans to enforce strict voter ID laws previously blocked under preclearance. The Alabama, Texas, and Mississippi laws remain on the books. North Carolina passed a voter ID law that the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals in 2016 held targeted “African Americans with almost surgical precision.” (That law remains blocked.)

It was as if Southern states heard Roberts’ ‘racism is over’ pablum, muttered to themselves, ‘The fuck it is,’ and then went out and enacted the most racist voter ID laws they could imagine.

Now in Callais, Roberts and his conservative cronies are coming for what’s left of the Voting Rights Act. They’ve moved from “racism is over” to “fixing racism is racist.” It’s the same logic dressed up in new robes—white ones.

Quit stealing our time

You want to talk about time? Let’s talk about all of the time that white America has stolen from Black Americans and never compensated for.

Our time has always been subject to the whims of White America.

They stole it when they kidnapped us from Africa and dragged us here in chains. They stole it through centuries of forced labor. They stole it with poll taxes and literacy tests and lynch mobs.

And they’re still stealing it: It takes Black people in Georgia six hours to vote, while Chad McWhiteman waltzes in and out of his white community’s polling booth in 15 minutes. They steal the time it takes to psych ourselves up before walking into a boardroom, conference room, or classroom, wondering how much racism we’ll have to absorb before lunch.

They steal the time it takes to explain racism to people who pretend not to see it. They steal the time it takes to litigate these cases over and over again, decade after decade, because the Supreme Court keeps moving the goalposts.

And now they want to set a timer on our liberation, too.

When Kavanaugh complains that it’s been “decades,” he’s not wrong—it has been decades since the Voting Rights Act passed. Six to be exact. But decades aren’t justice. Decades are a mere blip in the lifespan of white supremacy.

Two-hundred-and-forty-six years of slavery, and you’re complaining about “decades?” Bitch, please.

Come talk to me in 2299

So if Brett Kavanaugh wants to talk about time, then let’s talk about it. If John Roberts wants to pretend we’ve outgrown racism, then let him prove it.

Otherwise, until we’ve had 334 years without state-sanctioned inequality, white America doesn’t get to declare the work done. You don’t get to gut the Voting Rights Act because you’re bored of racism. You don’t get to be over it. You don’t get to be tired of talking about it when you’re the reason we still have to. (And let’s be clear, 334 years without oppression still isn’t 334 years of freedom.)

But still, I’ll give you 334 years. That means you can sunset Section 2 in 2299. Hell, sunset the entire Civil Rights Act, since that’s what conservatives are obviously so keen on. But not until 2299.

Until then, keep your countdown clocks to yourself.

The post Supreme Court Conservatives Are Tired of Hearing About Racism. Guess What? Me Too. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"when$ “How old are you?” gives a lot of guys that deer-in-the-headlights look the instant girls hit them with it. But you have 4 different ways to respond.

Let’s talk about a common problem men run into approaching women: the how old are you test.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Old, Are, You, What, Say, When, Girls, Ask, Your, AGE", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/how-old-are-you-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-old-are-you-what-say-when-girls-ask-your-age", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-22 08:37:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "102648", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Harsh Truths About Women (That Men Learn Too late)", "title_slug": "10-harsh-truths-about-women-that-men-learn-too-late", "title_hash": "dbfaa94ebbd58f4a0bcb0676f3426f83", "summary": "Not everything they show you is everything they feel. She’ll smile, laugh at your jokes, even kiss you…", "content": "Not everything they show you is everything they feel. She’ll smile, laugh at your jokes, even kiss you…", "keywords": ", Harsh, Truths, About, Women, That, Men, Learn, Too, late", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/too-late-e1761092054497.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-harsh-truths-about-women-that-men-learn-too-late/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-22 08:37:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "102647", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Reasons Why Women Do Not Like Pleasure As Much As Men", "title_slug": "8-reasons-why-women-do-not-like-pleasure-as-much-as-men", "title_hash": "9e67eae2779e0e45be2cebfd7e522db0", "summary": "It’s not that we don’t want it. It’s that… sometimes, everything else gets louder than the wanting. This…", "content": "It’s not that we don’t want it. It’s that… sometimes, everything else gets louder than the wanting. This…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Why, Women, Not, Like, Pleasure, Much, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/pleasure-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-reasons-why-women-do-not-like-pleasure-as-much-as-men/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-22 08:37:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "102645", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Mobility Exercises for Avoiding Injury and Increasing Range of Motion", "title_slug": "best-mobility-exercises-for-avoiding-injury-and-increasing-range-of-motion", "title_hash": "c33aadda2876f637df5d6f29442a7ad4", "summary": "Ready to Take Your Mobility Seriously? Here Are 8 Essential Moves to Do Daily", "content": "Whatever your goals are at the gym, mobility is a crucial component for achieving them. In fact, experts call it their secret sauce: not only does mobility training reduce your risk of injury during heavy lifts and other challenging exercises, but it also allows you to get more muscle-building potential out of each rep.\r\n“Many guys tend to mistakenly equate mobility with flexibility — and ultimately conclude that this type of exercise is not for them, as it won’t do anything to help them lift heavier, run faster, or reach whatever goal they may have,” says Luca Callini, Les Mills U.S. trainer and presenter. “Mobility is not the same thing as flexibility. Mobility is the ability of joints to move pain-free throughout their natural range of motion (ROM). Flexibility is the ability of a muscle to stretch temporarily.”\r\nBasically, mobility is whatever movement your body can do without you having to help it. For example, Callini suggests lying down on your back and lifting your leg straight up to the ceiling. Without using your hands to pull your leg down, see how far you can bring your straight leg down towards your chest. That’s your hip mobility. And whether you know it or not, having greater hip mobility can enhance your athletic performance, allow for more powerful explosive movements, and prevent lower back injury.\r\nRELATED: Massage Guns vs Foam Rollers\r\nWith all that in mind, here’s what to know about the many benefits of mobility training — plus a series of expert-approved mobility exercises you can try at home or the gym.\r\n\r\nBenefits of Mobility Training\r\n\r\nThere are countless reasons to consider mobility training. Here are just a few of the noteworthy perks:\r\nGreater Strength Gains\r\nMobility exercises can give you a greater range of motion for every exercise you do, says Callini. That can allow you to lift with better form and technique.\r\nTake squats, for instance.\r\n“This move relies on the ability of your ankles, knees, and hips to move pain-free,” Callini explains. “You can have strong quads and be able to lift a heavy barbell, but if your hip and ankle mobility is limited, you won’t be able to go as low in your squats, which will ultimately negatively impact your results.”\r\nAs an added bonus, Callini notes that mobility drills tend to go hand in hand with flexibility training, so whenever you do these exercises, you’re getting the perks of both.\r\nFaster Recovery\r\nAccording to Jack Craig, a certified personal trainer at Inside Bodybuilding, mobility work helps you bounce back more quickly after workouts since it lets you use the full range of motion of each joint, and brings blood flow to your muscles.\r\nImproved Balance\r\n“Improved mobility helps to create a better balance between your body’s opposing muscle groups, which in turn leads to improved functional movement,” says Michael Hamlin, a certified strength and conditioning coach, personal trainer, and founder of Everflex Fitness. “This is especially important for activities like running and jumping, which require excellent coordination and balance.”\r\nReduced Risk of Injury\r\nMobility work improves balance and stability while promoting proper form — all of which reduce your chance of getting injured. Not only that, but Hamlin notes that this type of training creates more resilient muscles — which are better able to absorb force from sudden impacts or awkward movements.\r\nRELATED: 15 Workout Tips to Avoid Injury\r\n“If you have a stiff joint or tight muscle, you won't have as much movement in that section of your body,” explains Kevin Smith, a physical therapist and owner of Clarity Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy, Inc. “The repercussions of this are that the surrounding joints and muscles will take more load and strain than they are meant to have, leading to injuries.”\r\n\r\nBest Mobility Exercises\r\n\r\nTry these moves at home or at the gym. Keep in mind, though, that if you’re working with an injury, it’s best to do these under the supervision of a certified physical therapist or personal trainer.\r\nCat/Cow\r\nCallini recommends introducing this simple yoga-based sequence into your warm-up or cool-down routine.\r\n“You’re going through the entire mobility range of your spine throughout this sequence,” he says. “Your spine does all kinds of flexing and extending during weightlifting, so the more you can move it — and activate the muscles to support it — the safer and more efficient your lifts will be.”\r\nAccording to NASM-certified personal trainer William Toro cat-cow prepares your body to load resistance while training your back muscles.\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStart on all fours, with your wrists underneath your shoulders, knees underneath your hips, and a neutral spine.\r\n\tTo move into “cat” pose, begin slowly rounding your back as you tuck your chin toward your chest. “As you do that, also tuck your hips,” says Callini. “This is a spinal flexion.”\r\n\tNow, begin gently tilting your pelvis backward and lifting your chest as you arch your back and direct your gaze slightly upward (without straining your neck). This is a spinal extension.\r\n\tContinue alternating between these two poses by repeating steps 2-3 several times.\r\n\r\nRELATED: Heath & Fitness Benefits of Improving Mobility\r\nInternal/External Rotation Shoulder Towel Stretch\r\n“In the gym, shoulder mobility is key for just about all overhead lifts and many other exercises,” says Callini. “This drill helps you address mobility with shoulder external and internal rotation.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tGrab a towel (or t-shirt) and hold it overhead with one hand so that it falls down the middle of your back.\r\n\tReach behind your back with your opposite hand to grab hold of the bottom of the towel.\r\n\tGently pull the towel up with your top hand, letting your bottom arm rise up your back. Continue pulling only as far as is comfortable and then hold for a few seconds for a deep stretch. This works internal rotation on your bottom shoulder.\r\n\tThen, begin actively pulling the towel down with your bottom hand. This works the external rotation of the top shoulder.\r\n\tRepeat steps 3-4 five times through.\r\n\r\nAnkle Mobility Stretch\r\n“Poor ankle mobility affects performance in the gym and regular life,” says Callini. “I see this a lot in the strength classes I teach, where participants lift their heels as they lower into a squat. Their hips allow them to go deep, their quadriceps and core allow them to lift a heavy barbell, but the limiting factor becomes ankle mobility, dumping the weight into the balls of the feet and limiting the overall squat range of motion.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tPlant your right foot on a weight bench or chair.\r\n\tShift your weight forward as you bend your knee. Note: this will look like a lunge with the front foot on a bench.\r\n\tGrab the bench and gently pull yourself forward and down as your right knee travels slightly past your toes. Keep your foot firmly planted on the bench and hold for 10 seconds.\r\n\tNow, place your right foot on the floor, lift your left foot onto the bench or chair, and repeat steps 2-4 on the other side. You can repeat this stretch 3-4 times on each side.\r\n\r\nNeural Glides\r\n“Nerves can get caught in connective tissues, limiting the range of motion,” says Smith. “They need to be able to glide in and out of connective tissues. Neural glides help facilitate this by creating tension at one joint but slack at another. This way the nerve doesn't get pulled.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tLay on your back with your knees bent to 90 degrees.\r\n\tBring your right knee into your chest with your toes flexed. Then, extend that right knee and point your toe. Alternate between the two stretches about 20 times.\r\n\tNow, repeat step 2 with your left knee.\r\n\r\nLunge With Rotation\r\nThis lunge exercise doesn’t just improve lower body mobility — it also helps build strength in the hips and core, according to Hamlin.\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStart standing with your feet hip-width apart and arms at your sides.\r\n\tStep forward with your right foot, bending it to a 90-degree angle while keeping your left leg straight.\r\n\tTwist your torso toward the outside of the right leg, bringing both arms up in front of you and over your head.\r\n\tStep your right foot back, and repeat steps 2-3 on your left leg. Perform at least 10 reps on each side.\r\n\r\nRocking On Your Hands and Knees\r\n“Rocking helps activate your chest, hips, and ankles, making it a great part of your warm-up,” says Craig. “It also helps bring mobility to your spine.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStarting on your hands and knees, engage your muscles by pushing away from the ground. Curl your toes under your feet.\r\n\tSlowly send your hips back, until your butt touches your heels. Then, slowly send your body forward, until your chest is past your hands.\r\n\tRock back and forth slowly, keeping your spine flexible (but not rounded) and your hips square.\r\n\r\nBird Dogs\r\n“This might not seem like a mobility workout, because it’s not challenging your flexibility,” says Craig. “However, it’s building stability in your hips and inner thighs and through your shoulders, helping you move those joints more effectively. The practice of staying ‘square’ will help you build strength in other workouts and correct any muscular imbalances.”\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStart on your hands and knees, with your hips over your knees and shoulders stacked over your wrists.\r\n\tSlowly lift your left leg and right arm, moving them straight out from your body. Try to keep your body square, with your hips level — don’t shift your weight onto your right hip or your left shoulder. You should feel a burn in your abs and back as you try to stay stable without shifting.\r\n\tSlowly bring your limbs back to the center, and then switch sides, extending the opposite leg and arm. Perform 5-10 reps on each side.\r\n\r\nCobra to Mountain Pose\r\n“There are multiple benefits of the cobra to mountain pose stretches — the foremost being that it strengthens the spine and stretches the chest, shoulders, and abdomen,” says Toro.\r\nHow to do it:\r\n\r\n\tStart by lying on your stomach with your legs extended behind you and your arms on the floor beside your torso.\r\n\tInhale and press your palms into the floor and lift your chest off the floor, arching your back into the cobra pose. Hold the pose for a few seconds, then exhale and slowly lower your chest to the floor.\r\n\tNext, press into your palms and tuck your toes under, coming into a downward-facing dog. Hold the pose for a few breaths.\r\n\tThen, inhale and press your palms into the floor and slowly extend one leg back, bringing your body into the mountain pose. Make sure to keep your shoulders back, and your core engaged throughout the sequence.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Benefits of Walking Backwards\r\n\tHow Stretching Can Make you Stronger\r\n\tHow to Optimize Workout Recovery", "keywords": "Best, Mobility, Exercises, for, Avoiding, Injury, and, Increasing, Range, Motion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-mobility-exercises-for-avoiding-injury-and-increasing-range-of-motion/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1761054877.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-mobility-exercises-for-avoiding-injury-and-increasing-range-of-motion.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-22 08:37:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "102646", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Have an Authentic Hawaii Travel Experience", "title_slug": "how-to-have-an-authentic-hawaii-travel-experience", "title_hash": "45c1d2862c8b9925a6a4d6ebe94ea771", "summary": "Why Romer House Offers the Perfect Waikīkī Experience", "content": "I challenge any American to look up the history of Hawai’i before visiting. Learning a bit about a place before traveling there is just good manners, but in the case of a place like the islands that make up America’s 50th state, a dive into how what was once an independent kingdom became a part of America in the 20th century illuminates the context of tourism there. \r\nIf you’ve ever heard a story of a tourist getting chewed out or beat up by locals, well, I’m not here to tell you it isn’t true. Those who live in Hawai’i, and especially those who are indigenous to the islands, are understandably protective of their land as it exists amidst a largely parasitic tourism industry that consumes money and resources while often giving little back to the community or the land itself.\r\nRELATED: Travel Tips for First-Time Visitors to Greece\r\nIt’s why I held off on visiting once work started taking me around the world more. Traveling to places like Hawai’i, Jamaica, and Puerto Rico is the sort of endeavor that should be approached thoughtfully, lest you book a stay at an all-inclusive resort that funnels every penny you drop on the trip directly into the wallets of hospitality executives continents away. For Hawai’i I wanted to stay somewhere that would encourage exploration of the islands, spotlight local food and artisans, and make it easy for guests to give back.\r\nI found it in Romer House, a boutique hotel in Waikīkī I visited in September. Located just across from a bustling multi-block mall and a Kona Coffee with a 45 minute-long line at any given time of the day, the hotel is quiet and modest compared to the louder resorts just a stretch closer to the ocean (you need only cross two main roads to get there from Romer). In the lobby I found dim lights, a lowkey seating area, and a small restaurant serving up solid breakfast staples in the morning and a more proper dinner menu in the evenings. Behind the check-in counter, a massive framed photo of local surf legend Clyde Aikau gazed over all who checked in (any member of the Aikau family welcoming you to your home in Hawai’i isn’t to be taken lightly, even if it’s just through a photograph). \r\n\r\nIn lieu of plastic bottles in rooms each guest is provided with a supply of Jason Momoa’s Mananalu aluminum water bottles, which have refill stations all over the hotel to cut back on plastic waste. There’s a nice pool and poolside bar in the back but hardly the kind that warrants multiple days spent lounging outside of it. And the room itself, while cozy, well air-conditioned, and stocked with typical hotel amenities, wasn’t anything extraordinary — and that’s a good thing.\r\n\r\nAt every turn, Romer House encouraged us to spend our time literally anywhere other than the hotel itself. Guests are advised to wake up early to catch the sunrise by the beach, which was as early as 5:30-6AM while I was there (worth it, absolutely worth it). Any hotel employee will provide you with an exhaustive list of places to check out while on the island, almost entirely small businesses, from Avanti (an excellent producer of traditional aloha shirts) to Honolulu Pawnshop (a dope local streetwear brand with a store in one of Waikīkī’s nearby malls). The primary excursion of the trip was a morning hike of Diamondhead, a local mountain and state park that provided a killer workout and spectacular views at the top. Staying in Romer House feels like staying in a proper neighborhood hang, a bit of a rarity in a tourist-heavy part of the island. \r\nEven the on-site offerings tied back to the community. The hotel bar — The Lei Stand — is a revival of a bar that was a centerpiece of the island’s Chinatown back in the day. It now serves locals and guests alike. Other resorts on the island have in-house or on-site stores for brands like Tommy Bahama (which is owned by clothing conglomerate Oxford Industries and is, on its own, headquartered in Seattle). Romer House had a local swimwear brand host a pop-up in the lobby during my stay and a local jeweler setup in the lobby daily. Resorts point inward. Romer House points outward.\r\n\r\nI am far from an expert on the ethics of tourism in places like Hawai’i. I don’t know if there’s a “right” way to do it given how much damage has been done to the islands over the last century. What I do know is that if you’re going to visit, you should make sure your money is staying on the island and that you’re giving back to it in some way. Listen to locals when they tell you not to take anything from the beach (it’s literally illegal to remove rocks or sand from the shore) or to pick up trash when you see it. Get coffee somewhere other than Starbucks. Don’t pry for insider info on where locals like to hang out — those spots aren’t for tourists, no matter how much you might want to see them. And don’t miss your chance to take part in one of the great unifying experiences between tourists and locals that the island offers: waking up for sunrise.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Why Chicago Is America's Best Summer CityHow to Visit Europe in the High SeasonMost Affordable Times Square Hotels", "keywords": "How, Have, Authentic, Hawaii, Travel, Experience", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/travel/how-to-have-an-authentic-hawaii-travel-experience/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1760985036.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/travel/how-to-have-an-authentic-hawaii-travel-experience.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-22 08:37:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "102470", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How My Marriage Took The Lives Of My Dad And My Only Sister", "title_slug": "how-my-marriage-took-the-lives-of-my-dad-and-my-only-sister", "title_hash": "a427f4a456079e45e0af6fd1d103bfd1", "summary": "On my traditional wedding day, I found a needle, three dry leaves, and a piece of red fabric under the seat I sat on. The leaves were inside the fabric …", "content": "

On my traditional wedding day, I found a needle, three dry leaves, and a piece of red fabric under the seat I sat on. The leaves were inside the fabric and the needle was stuck through the middle of it. I picked it up and showed it to my father. He took it, disassembled it, and asked who could have placed it under my seat, just beneath the foam.

He called everyone who was part of the decoration, young and old, and asked them who did it. Nobody owned up. My dad poured kerosene on it and set it ablaze. He said, “I don’t know the intention of the one who did this. Whatever the intention, they should suffer the consequences.”

A week after my wedding, my dad died. He wasn’t sick or weak. He died in his sleep. My mom was uncontrollable. My elder sister, who was still living with my parents, threw herself on the floor, screaming she wanted to die too. Then my brothers, the men of the house, stood wondering what had happened. I whispered into my brother’s ear, “Is it because he burnt that thing?”

When the family sat down, my elder brother raised the issue: “Dad’s death is mysterious. Just a week ago, he stood here and burnt something Adwoa found under her seat, but today he’s gone. This is spiritual and we ought to look into it.”

I agreed with him. If my dad died because of that, then what was supposed to happen to me? I took it upon myself to find out who placed the thing there, while my elder brother decided to consult a fetish priest. My mom disagreed. My sister spoke vehemently against our decision, questioning our faith in God.

I asked every family member who was at my wedding and was involved one way or the other in the decoration or food. One woman told me, “If something was found close to your seat, then it might have come from your sister. She put the chair there and even told one of your aunties not to change the position.”

I went to that aunt and asked why my sister asked her not to touch the seat, and she answered, “I don’t know, but after she said that, she stood by until the ceremony started. She should know who placed those things there because she didn’t leave your chair alone.”

I told my elder brother about it and he also said he had suspected it right from the onset, but since dad burnt the thing, he simply couldn’t raise the issue again. He assured me we would look into it after the funeral.

My husband was the most affected. He didn’t sleep well. He asked what was going to happen after my dad’s death. He wondered about the effect on our marriage. For some reason, I wasn’t worried or scared, but I borrowed some fear from my husband when he started asking those questions.

I spoke to my mom: “I’m scared. What if I was the one to die and dad took it on my behalf?” She answered, “You won’t die. God won’t allow it.” I asked, “What about my marriage?” My sister walked in so we stopped talking. We had all come to suspect my sister because of what my aunt said.

She’s the second born and I’m the fourth and last born. She’s five years older. She loved me, and because the two of us were the girls of the family, we were very close. I told her everything and she did the same. When my husband proposed, I told her. When we fixed the wedding date, the next minute I was on the phone with her, telling her about the wedding. She was the senior organizer of my wedding, especially the traditional one.

My dad was buried on a Saturday. On Monday, when we met as a family, my elder brother stood up and said, “Dad is gone but the living won’t keep quiet and pretend all is well.” Then he mentioned my sister’s name, asking her directly if she knew something about the leaves and needle. My sister burst out into tears, asking my brother how he could associate her name with that. “I’ve also been searching. I’ve been scared just like everyone else, so why mention my name?”

My brother answered, “It’s good it’s not you because the person responsible is going to follow dad a week from today. I’ve dived into the realm. I know what they told me.”

My sister called my mom’s name, asking why she was quiet. “Won’t you say anything while they blame me? Do you think I would do that?” My mom answered, “At this moment, all I care about is the safety of everyone. We need answers.”

My husband had been praying. He even fasted. I did too when I could. My brother was working in the Northern region then. He called to tell us what he was doing and the spiritual men he was speaking to. One day he said, “The target was your womb. The needle was stuck in your children, represented by the leaves. It wasn’t just a needle but a dagger.”

I asked what we should do and he told me not to worry because he was still on it. He took money from me to buy a goat and kola nut. He asked me to send him the dress I wore for my traditional wedding. I did, and less than a month later, my sister started behaving weirdly. She talked about faces no one saw. She ran from dogs no one could hear. She screamed at dawn, saying someone was sitting on her.

My mom called us home one weekend and we all sat to listen to my sister speak. She said she had nothing to say, meanwhile she was the one who had asked my mom to call us home. My brother wasn’t talking, but anytime my sister spoke, she mentioned my elder brother’s name, asking him to say something. My brother stood up and left. A few minutes later, my sister started talking.

“I didn’t mean to kill dad. He burnt it, that’s why. He shouldn’t have. I also didn’t know he shouldn’t have.” Then she went quiet again. My mom asked her, “What do you want from your younger sister? I thought you loved her, so why would you want to destroy her?”

She didn’t answer that. She said she didn’t mean to let any of that happen and she would do everything to reverse it and even bring my dad back to life again if she could. At some point, what she was saying didn’t add up. She would start from Q and end up at B. My mom asked where she went to get those things, but the answer she gave wasn’t coherent. We had to rally together to get her to speak up so we would know where she went. Every question we asked was deflected.

All this happened on a Saturday. On Thursday, my mom called to tell me she couldn’t find her. She had gone out the previous day and didn’t come back. I was like, “It’s shame that’s driving her away. Don’t mind her.” On Friday early morning, we got the news. She had been killed by a speeding vehicle. Eyewitnesses described it as suicide. She stood in the middle of the road just when the car was coming. Bam! She didn’t make a sound.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

That’s how my marriage took the lives of people I loved. I miss my dad as I write this. I still cry because his death could have been easily avoided. I miss my sister too. All she had to do was love me as the sister I’d always been, but she allowed herself to be consumed by darkness.

Anytime it’s my wedding anniversary, I remember them and I cry instead of being joyful. We are eleven years in marriage with three children, but none of our anniversaries have been joyful. My sister stained my marriage and memories, but I forgive her. I pray for her.

—Adwoa

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******

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I’m in a state of confusion right now. I’m a married woman with a 3-year-old child and currently pregnant with my second. My mother passed away three weeks before I gave birth to my first child, so I had no one to help me during that time. It was my sister-in-law who came around—she had just finished school and was unemployed.

We contacted my mother-in-law, hoping she could come and help, but she said she couldn’t leave her teaching job, not even for one week.

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Because of my husband’s work, he was mostly not at home. After delivery, I asked my midwife to help bathe the baby, and she did that for two weeks. Then I continued on my own.

But the trouble I went through with my sister-in-law was something else. She wouldn’t cook, and even when she did, it was always late. She would leave used bowls for four days before washing them. She could sleep in the evening and wake up around noon the next day.

One time, I called a friend to come help me cook and put food in the freezer. My friend came in the afternoon while I was asleep. She met my sister-in-law, but instead of letting her help, my sister-in-law told her to go back home and come later when I woke up. Can you imagine?

I was just two weeks postpartum, and I had already started cooking and taking care of the baby myself. She talks about everything, and it was draining.

You might ask what my husband did. But he wasn’t around much, and she didn’t misbehave in front of him. I also didn’t want to complain.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I am pregnant with my second child, and I keep thinking about what exactly is going to happen this time around. Now, my problem is this: I was hoping my aunty would come and help me this time when I give birth. But her daughter is also pregnant, and our due dates are close. So I’ve spoken to my midwife, and she’s agreed to let me stay at her place for one week after delivery. After that, I’ll go back to my husband’s house and manage on my own, even though our place is far from hers.

But I’m worried. If my husband finds out my aunty won’t be coming, I’m very sure he’ll try to bring his sister again. And I don’t want that. I don’t want history to repeat itself.

So how do I tell my husband clearly and respectfully that I don’t want his sister to come when I give birth?

—Angie

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#SB<>

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One day, I received a WhatsApp message from a friend of mine. He sent me a list of girls’ numbers, and the message read, “Bro, go wild. These ones are easy.” He even pointed out one specific girl and said, “This one is fast. She won’t waste your time.”

I understood exactly what he meant. So I texted her. And truly, she did not waste time at all. She agreed to my arrangement without stress.

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It was Saturday. We decided to meet the next day, Sunday morning at 11 a.m., and head to a guesthouse at Sapeiman on the Nsawam road. Since I have a car, we agreed I would pick her up around the Pobiman tollbooth area.

Everything was set. I went to bed excited, smiling like a thief who just found gold. In my head I was thinking, “Tomorrow di3, I will eat sweet.”

Sunday morning came. I arrived at the filling station and waited. But she was not showing up. I started getting worried and desperate. Then she called and said, “I am almost there.” My happiness rate jumped to 500%. I was already imagining the guesthouse bed, the air conditioner, and the sweet ‘thing thing’ ahead.

She called again and asked about the colour of my car and exactly where I was parked. While we were still on the call, I saw a lady walking by. I thought she was just passing. But I noticed she was making a call. A few seconds later, my phone rang. It was her.

For a few seconds, I froze. I didn’t know what to think. My heart was beating fast, and my mind was confused. I felt shocked and surprised. The person I saw wasn’t the girl from the photo. I just sat in the car, but inside, I was asking myself, “What is going on?” I kept thinking, “What at all is this?” But I stayed calm and told her to get in.

Now here is the shock of the century.

The picture she sent me was not the person standing in front of me. Not even close. She was a full-blown tomboy. She wore ‘nikka’ shorts, a T-shirt, and boys’ sandals and had a low haircut like a barber’s apprentice.

I asked her, “Why did you send me someone else’s picture?”

She looked me dead in the eye and said, “I only want sex. So there is nothing wrong. After all, I am still a woman. I have everything a woman has.”

I could not believe my ears. The boldness. The confidence. The madness.

In my head I said, “This girl is a gangster. No wonder she is a tomboy.”

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

So I started thinking of how to escape this mess, and then it hit me. I remembered Number 2. The washroom excuse. I turned to her and said, “I’m really sorry, but my stomach is not okay. I need to rush home and use my own bathroom.” She looked at me and said, “But we can use the one at the guesthouse.” I shook my head and replied, “No, I don’t feel comfortable using other people’s washrooms. I prefer mine.”

She nodded and stepped out of the car.

The moment she closed the door, I picked up my phone and blocked her number. No time to waste. I started driving away, heart still pounding, wondering how someone could lie like that and still act so bold. While I was still on the road heading home, thanking God for how I escaped all of this, she called again with a different number. I didn’t recognize it, so I picked up. The moment we ended the call, I blocked that one too.

Because how can you deceive me like that? You send me a photo of a beautiful girl, get me hyped and excited for the business at hand, only to show up dressed like a boy, nikka, shirt, boys’ sandals, and on top of it all, with a boy’s haircut?

How do you do that?

—David

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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I share a compound with my landlord who is a well-known businessman. We both live in two-bedroom apartments. He is hardly ever around. Sometimes he disappears for two or three months straight. When he finally shows up, it’s usually to relax and spend time with university girls.

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I moved in last year in May when his company was doing well under a big contract. Since then, I’ve seen him with at least ten different girls. They are all young, beautiful, but clearly nervous whenever they’re around him. My apartment sits right by the main gate, so I see almost everything that happens in the compound.

Then came that Thursday night, September 25th. It was around 11 p.m., and I had just returned from work. As I got out of my car to close the gate, I noticed headlights approaching. It was the landlord’s car. He had two girls with him, one in the front seat and another in the back. I opened the gate for him, closed it behind them, and walked up to greet him. But something felt strange.

The girl in the back seat couldn’t look me in the eye. The car windows were slightly tinted, and it was dark, so I couldn’t see her clearly. Regardless, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something about her felt familiar.

The next morning, I decided to trust my gut. I usually leave for work around 6:30 a.m., and I knew he’d probably drop the girls off around that time. So I waited. As soon as I heard his door open, I stepped outside.

What I saw nearly broke me. The girl in the back seat that night was my serious girlfriend. The same girl who had never once visited me since I moved into that house. She always had one excuse or another. Whenever I showed up on campus unannounced, she was either busy somewhere or nowhere to be found. I remember her roommate once told me, “Forget about Mariska and move on.”

How could I have forgotten about a woman I was investing in? I would send her thousand cedis every week for upkeep. I trusted her enough to leave my car with her whenever I travelled. I can only imagine the number of guys she’s entertained in it.

I bought her everything she wanted. Not long ago, she claimed her phone was giving her problems, a story I knew was false because I’d bought that phone brand new. Still, I was already planning to get her one of the new iPhone 17 models.

That morning, when our eyes met, she froze like she’d seen a ghost. I greeted my landlord, opened the gate for him, and pretended I’d never met Mariska before.

Ten minutes later, her first message came in. I didn’t read it. I just blocked her. Then I blocked her mum, her brothers, and even her close friends.

Since then, she’s been calling me from different numbers every single day. I keep blocking them all. I’m a forgiving person, but this one cut deep. It feels like a spear through my heart.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

\nJust yesterday, her mum called me from a new number. I picked up, and politely let her talk until she finished and ended the call. My parents didn’t raise me to disrespect elders. But I once overheard this woman advising her daughter not to put all her eggs in one basket until she met the right man, all because her own husband did her dirty years ago. She has no idea I ever heard that conversation.

For some reason, I believed Mariska loved me enough not to take her mother’s advice. I was wrong. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this, it’s to never invest in a woman from a struggling home. It doesn’t end well.

—Davies

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#SB

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I am the first child and only daughter. From the time I could talk, I lived in my mother’s family house — one big compound filled with cousins, aunties, uncles, and noise. My mother was the breadwinner. My father? A drunk and a smoker who was always chasing bottles and shadows.

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Even though we were poor, hunger never lived with us. My mother made sure of that. We sold everything we could: tomatoes, charcoal, groundnuts, sometimes even cooked food. I was the oldest so most of the burden fell on me. My brothers would go out to sell and return with excuses, sometimes empty-handed. “The money got lost,” they’d say. Instead of dealing with them my mother would turn to me, “You’re their sister. Why didn’t you watch them?”

By thirteen, I was doing everything in that house. I am talking about cooking, washing, fetching water, cleaning, and caring for everyone else. My mother stopped cooking altogether. “You’re a girl,” she said. “You have to learn how to do these things. You will be someone’s wife soon.”

At school, I couldn’t concentrate. While my classmates solved math problems, I’d be thinking about what to cook when I got home or whether there’d be enough water for everyone’s bath. My grandmother was the only person who saw my struggles. She’d help me with chores while muttering, “You’re too young to be doing all this, my child.”

My mother, on the other hand, never stopped shouting at me. Her voice could break glass. “You’re slow! You’re lazy! You’re ugly!” Every Christmas, she sewed new clothes for us, but mine always turned into insults. “Look at your legs, crooked like a broken chair,” she’d say. Those words became a mirror I couldn’t look away from.

She never beat my brothers, only me. If I tried to discipline them, she’d beat me for touching them. I learned early that my voice didn’t count. If my brothers were talking and I spoke, she’d hush me: “People are talking. Keep quiet.”

When I started menstruating, I hid it from her for two years. We lived in a single room, but my mother never noticed. The day she found out, she beat me as if I’d committed a crime. While I was crying she kept shouting, “So this is what you’ve been hiding? Sleeping with boys, eh?”

Around that same time, I got an infection but I couldn’t tell anyone. I was afraid my mother would get angry again. I am still treating that infection today.

I remember one night when I woke up and felt my father’s hand in my underwear. I froze. I was shaking, but I couldn’t scream. When he realised I was awake, he pretended to be waking me up to go and urinate. I didn’t tell a soul. After that, I started sleeping in two or three pairs of shorts. My father was a beast — a man who chased anything in a skirt, even mad women.

When I started developing breasts, my mother’s insults changed. “You think you’re a woman now? Look at your chest like Asiamasi!” I didn’t know what it meant, but it sounded dirty.

After JHS, my father ran away after sleeping with a young girl. My mother said good riddance, but her anger turned on me. When my BECE results came, she was furious that I didn’t get aggregate six for a scholarship. “You’ve wasted my money!” she shouted.

I almost stopped schooling, but my teachers intervened. They helped me get to SHS. I failed Mathematics in WASSCE, and that became another curse. She once told me, “You’ll never amount to anything!”

In my distress, my JHS headmistress arranged for me to stay with her daughter in town. She promised they’d help me rewrite my papers. I was happy I was finally free.
\n

Oh, but I wasn’t. I worked like a servant. I was starved and insulted daily. It was their neighbour, a married man, who started giving me food. From there, he started touching me. I didn’t know how to say no.

It became constant. Every knock on the door made me tremble. By the tenth month, I ran away. When I got home, my mother insulted me again. “You can’t stay anywhere good,” she ranted.

The people I’d stayed with gave me GH₵1,000, and I used it to rewrite my Maths paper. I still failed. The insults grew sharper. “You’re useless. Go and see how other people’s children are making their mothers proud.”

That was the day I decided to leave home for good. The fight that night… I’ll never forget it. But that’s a story for another day.

I came to Accra and wrote the paper twice. Still didn’t pass. Later, I sat for an entrance exam and passed. Now, I’m in Level 300 at the university. Since I told my mother, she’s been kinder. She even calls me “my daughter” sometimes.

Her favourite son is bedridden now. I help them with money when I can. I don’t hate her. I just hate that she chose an irresponsible man to be my father. That was made her angry all the time. Or maybe she treated me the way she did because she was young and broken when she had me.

Sometimes I think it’s a pattern. My mother and her sisters all say their mother treated them the same way. They even call her a witch. Maybe pain runs in our bloodline, passed down like a family heirloom.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I tell myself one day, I’ll sit down with my mother and talk. Really talk. Ask her why she hurt me, why she said the things she did. Hopefully, we’ll forgive each other before it’s too late.

Right now, I’m just trying to breathe and heal. Because sometimes, even when you survive the house you grew up in, it still lives inside you.

—Michelle

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": "It’s, Miracle, Survived, Mother", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9698.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/its-a-miracle-i-survived-my-mother/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-22 08:30:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "102219", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Hawaii Protects Native Midwives in Legal Settlement", "title_slug": "hawaii-protects-native-midwives-in-legal-settlement", "title_hash": "8ea108400da0f9f27cfd6acad455c96c", "summary": "“We finally have a way forward to protect and pass down our sacred practices,” a Maui-based midwife said.\nThe post Hawaii Protects Native Midwives in Legal Settlement appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Native Hawaiian midwives no longer face prison time for practicing without a license and according to their traditional practices.

On Oct. 15, the state of Hawaii filed a joint stipulation and settlement with a group of midwives and students, concluding a lawsuit filed last year over a law that made it a crime to provide pregnancy or birth care without a state license. The law, which passed in 2019 but went into full effect in July 2023, also blocked students from learning through apprenticeships or traditional pathways.

The lawsuit prompted the Hawaii Legislature to repeal many of these midwifery restrictions this year with House Bill 1194, which regulates the midwifery profession while removing criminal penalties and protecting Native Hawaiian traditional practices.

Under the new law, those in violation of licensure requirements are now subject to civil offenses punishable by fines—up to $1,000—rather than criminal offenses resulting in jail time. The law clarifies that Native Hawaiian traditional and customary practices are protected under the state constitution and therefore exempted from laws regulating the practice of midwifery.

The settlement adds extra protections, according to attorneys representing the plaintiffs.

“There is still more work to do to shore up protections for midwives in Hawai‘i and to address the vast maternal health crisis in the U.S.,” said Rachana Desai Martin, chief U.S. program officer at the Center for Reproductive Rights, in a press statement. The center, along with the Native Hawaiian Legal Corporation and the law firm Perkins Coie, represented nine plaintiffs, including six midwives and student midwives. “But thanks to the tireless work of our plaintiffs and advocates, traditional Native Hawaiian midwives don’t have to be afraid that they might be thrown into jail for their work.”

According to the settlement, “there are no criminal penalties for practicing midwifery without a license.”

The stipulation also allows students to train locally instead of traveling to the continental U.S.

Hawaiian midwives say repealing these laws should lead to expanded midwifery care in a state with extremely limited pregnancy care options.

As the Honolulu Civil Beat has reported, pregnant Hawaiians in rural communities are advised to relocate to Honolulu in the weeks before giving birth, which can lead to loneliness, family separation and burdensome expenses.

According to a 2024 KFF report, Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander people are more likely to die during or after pregnancy than any other racial or ethnic group in the U.S. According to KFF, they are also four times more likely than white women to only start receiving prenatal care in the third trimester, or not at all.

Maui-based midwife Ki‘inaniokalani Kaho‘ohanohano told local TV station KHON2 she had stopped practicing after two decades when the restrictions went into effect.

“We finally have a way forward to protect and pass down our sacred practices,” she said. “I can continue to serve my community with the compassionate, culturally informed care they deserve.”

This article was republished from News From the States, part of States Newsroom. Read the original story, reported by Sofia Resnick, here.

The post Hawaii Protects Native Midwives in Legal Settlement appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"men$ Average men follow many rules: about whom they can talk to, how they can do it, and what they can say. But men who fuck women break all the rules – and get laid for it.

“You shouldn’t cold approach girls. Don’t you know they dislike it?”

“You shouldn’t tease women. Modern women demand respect!”

“Nobody calls girls anymore. If you call a Gen Z girl, she’ll think you’re strange!”

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Men, Who, Fuck, Women, Break, Rules", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "81", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/fuck-women-break-rules-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/men-who-fuck-women-break-rules", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:31:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101711", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Tracksuits to Channel Your Inner ‘90s Style", "title_slug": "best-tracksuits-to-channel-your-inner-90s-style", "title_hash": "05b77d270c6fac477c2f8715b702d45e", "summary": "These Retro Tracksuits Offer Throwback Style With Modern Comfort", "content": "While it can’t all be chalked up to the return of legendary British rockers Oasis, there’s plenty in the fashion cycle at the moment that makes picking up one of the best tracksuits a wise (and fun!) fashion move for men. \r\nSeen famously in its three-stripe iteration and worn everywhere from the gym to the streets of fashion week, the best men’s tracksuits channel retro cool that embraces everything from ‘70s sportswear to Noel and Liam Gallagher’s brash and distinctive, chart-topping fashion. Tracksuits, of course, are also a staple on the podium at the Olympics, as fine an expression of elite performance and crisp good looks as any.\r\nYou could argue that the best tracksuits for men never really went away, as athleisure has become more popular and widely accepted across the past decade-plus. Top designers and iconic sports gear brands are now making luxe variations of the tracksuit in materials like soft, stretchy cotton pique in addition to performance fabrications. \r\nRELATED: Best Stylish Gifts for Men \r\nAnd while they can’t quite be dressed up with tailoring or a blazer, there’s a case to be made that the right tracksuit, in the right fit (and paired with the right sneakers — try classic white leather low-tops) is made for much more than just a lazy weekend on the couch. Try on one of the best men’s tracksuits and embrace true athleisure style this season. \r\nReigning Champ Poly Pique Camp Standard Tracksuit\r\n\r\nHeritage sportswear made modern is the focus at Canada’s Reigning Champ, which uses minimal side striping and a crisp script font logo to embrace the more luxe side of the tracksuit. Stretchy polyester pique fabric makes for a ridiculously comfortable wearing experience, while raglan sleeves give the jacket a flattering fit.\r\n$148 at ReigningChamp.com \r\nTracksmith Federation Tracksuit\r\n\r\nEarly morning autumn runs by the riverside and across campus seem to serve as the primary inspiration for Tracksmith’s tracksuit, modeled after retro New England sportswear. A stretch cotton blend delivers comfort, while piped striping and a bold diagonal chest stripe across the jacket give this set a handsome, vintage appeal that calls to mind Olympic athletes of decades past.\r\nJacket - $150 at Tracksmith.com \r\nPants - $150 at Tracksmith.com \r\nBoohooMAN Boxy Seam Tracksuit\r\n\r\nThe best tracksuits for men need not only comprise a zip jacket: A matching hoodie in an angular design with a two-tone side seam construction can also lend some streetwear edge to this sporty look. Brushback fabric delivers supreme comfort, and you should feel free to layer a classic tee or a thermal shirt beneath your top half for maximum coziness.\r\n$100 at BoohooMAN.com \r\nTodd Snyder Travel Terry Jogger Pants + Jacket\r\n\r\nIf you find the right pieces in ultra-soft, luxe fabric and surprising silhouettes (like these jogger pants with a front pintuck design), then a day on the road or in the air can feel surprisingly comfortable and stylish. Leave it to award-winning menswear designer Todd Snyder to turn the tracksuit into a premium staple you can wear across the globe.\r\nJacket - $397 at ToddSnyder.com \r\nPants - $326 at ToddSnyder.com \r\nBOSS Tracksuit Jacket and Joggers\r\n\r\nThe ideal thing about the best tracksuits for men today are the ways in which brands are elevating the performance staple in minimal fashion. With an understated logo, two-tone design in crisp colors and sleek striping, there’s a reason BOSS menswear like this sharp tracksuit is found on golf links and in Formula 1 garages across the globe.\r\nJacket - $138 at Nordstrom.com \r\nPants - $98 at Nordstrom.com \r\nAdidas Three-Stripe Tricot Tracksuit\r\n\r\nWhat else is there to say about a truly iconic, near-legendary tracksuit in matters of both performance and style? From the soccer pitch to the stages of Glastonbury, the three-stripe tracksuit from Adidas is an undeniable classic, with soft tricot fabric and stylish color combinations aplenty available.\r\n$75 at Amazon.com \r\nNike Club FC Tracksuit\r\n\r\nYou could make the case that it wouldn’t be a guide to the best men’s tracksuits without featuring a true sportswear giant, and you’d largely be correct. Complete with a retro Nike logo in a wear-with-anything black design, this tracksuit boasts a blend of cotton and polyester construction for stretch, breathability and durability through both early-morning runs and off-duty lounging.\r\n$149.95 at Amazon.com \r\nCOOFANDY Velour Tracksuit\r\n\r\nLean into the throwback appeal of the two-piece tracksuit in luxe, modern fashion with this number from COOFANDY, done up in eye-catching velour that should prove wildly easy to wear, even as you separate the jacket from the pants from time to time.\r\n$59.97 at Amazon.com \r\nJMIERR Hoodie Tracksuit\r\n\r\nThere’s a reason the tracksuit can look as good away from the gym as it does during a long day of training: The hoodie is a rugged, athletic classic, and it gets a streetwear look and feel in an all-black set from JMIERR. For a highly affordable price, this is one of the best tracksuits on the market if you prefer a hoodie to a zip jacket.\r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com \r\nCUBECIRCLE Two-Piece Sweatsuit\r\n\r\nWith stretchy, moisture-wicking fabric and an oversized hood for maximum coverage when the weather goes awry during training sessions, this sweatsuit packs plenty of features into a highly affordable, visually distinctive package. Note the front kangaroo pocket for storage of your everyday carry essentials on the go.\r\n$33.47 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Terry Cloth Polos for MenBest Full-Zip Sweaters for MenBest Lightweight Long-Sleeve Shirts for Men", "keywords": "Best, Tracksuits, Channel, Your, Inner, ‘90s, Style", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-tracksuits-to-channel-your-inner-90s-style/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1760967265.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-tracksuits-to-channel-your-inner-90s-style.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:31:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101549", "lang_id": "1", "title": "STOP Spoiling My Beautiful Name", "title_slug": "stop-spoiling-my-beautiful-name", "title_hash": "0f7cd6632f1b3b57ceb509bc547c2db2", "summary": "My name is Akosua Kuma. I was named after my father’s mother. This is a name I have a special connection with because of how great my granny was. Over …", "content": "

My name is Akosua Kuma. I was named after my father’s mother. This is a name I have a special connection with because of how great my granny was. Over here in the UK, I mention my name with pride and even go the extra mile to explain it to my white peers who ask for its meaning. I tell them I was named after my grandma, and because she was the youngest among the Akosuas in the family, they added ‘kuma’ to her name, so ‘kuma’ means the youngest.

I was proud of this name until I came to Ghana and realized that Akosua Kuma means something different. I was like, “What! How come?”

The first time I heard it was when I was listening to one of the Twi-speaking radio stations. Every minute the presenter would mention, “Akosua kuma.” So I asked my cousin, “Why is my name all over the news?” and she laughed out loud. She said, “I swear you don’t want to know what they are talking about.”

I pressed for answers, and she told me, “Down here, ‘Akosua Kuma’ is a euphemism for the female genitalia.”

Let me ask. Who ate a full bowl of fufu and abenkwain and, while full, decided they were going to call the female genitalia Akosua kuma?

I’m deeply hurt. The name I once bore with pride has become awkward for me. Now I can’t mention my name in full. The ‘kuma’ is slowly fading from my mouth. My dad called me Akosua kuma and I asked him, “Are you calling my name, or you mean something different?”

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

He laughed, but it’s not funny. The next time I come to Ghana, I will hold a one-woman protest in front of the Manhyia Palace, demanding everyone stop spoiling my name. Akosua kuma means Akosua kuma and nothing else. You’re all warned. Stop spoiling my beautiful name.

—Akosua Kuma

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": "STOP, Spoiling, Beautiful, Name", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/silent-beads-posters-5.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/stop-spoiling-my-beautiful-name/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:20:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101547", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Hired Me for ‘Happy Endings’, Now He Wants A Serious Relationship", "title_slug": "he-hired-me-for-happy-endings-now-he-wants-a-serious-relationship", "title_hash": "7cc2bad3bc957312fa8a8dec2d8a86d7", "summary": "It was my madam who introduced me to home services. I didn’t like it. I was often scared, but I got a lot of money from home services. It came …", "content": "

It was my madam who introduced me to home services. I didn’t like it. I was often scared, but I got a lot of money from home services. It came with a lot of temptations, but the men I met were not the hyper type. They wanted it, but once I said no, they left it at that. Some tried to force it through coercion and money, but I stood my ground and said no.

I’m a masseuse. I come, do my work, take my money, and leave. All these dangers aside, my madam was not paying my salary regularly. Just GHC 1,200 a month, but sometimes she would pay it in three installments or not pay at all. I worked for three months without pay. I relied heavily on tips until one day a customer, who was a lady, told me, “Stop working with her and start working on your own. You’re good, so some of the clients will keep calling you.”

When it got to the fourth month and my madam gave me half a salary, I told her I quit. When I left the job, the men I was offering home services to, even the women, kept calling me. The men made crazy offers so they could have a happy ending. Some of the women did too. It was safer with the women, so I started from there. I only had to touch where they wanted me to touch, and they would double my charge. I came to have four women customers like that. Anytime they called, I knew my rent would be paid.

Dave was very consistent when it came to happy endings. I knew Dave through his wife. I was working for both of them until their divorce. While married, he wanted a happy ending, even when his wife wasn’t far from the scene. While going through the divorce, I didn’t hear from him often until he called one day, telling me, “Give me a happy ending and pick up the money on the table.”

I saw dollars. When I was leaving, I counted it. $500. He told me, “I’ll give you more than that if you continue this way. I’m a bachelor now, so no impediment.”

I gave him whatever he needed anytime he called me. Sometimes he kept me overnight. Sometimes he asked me to cook for him. Sometimes he paid my daily income so I didn’t have to work for anyone. We did this for almost a year. What we became didn’t have a name. It got to a point where he didn’t pay me the way he used to, but I’d come to like him, so I gave him services anyway.

I went to his house one day and he was with a friend—a friend he introduced as a business partner. He told me, “We want it together. We’ll triple your charges.” His business partner added, ”I’ve heard good things about you. Surprise me and I’ll sign you a check.”

I shook my head. I told them I’m not that kind of woman. They pressed, especially the business partner. I left the house angry. I felt disrespected. I thought Dave valued our relationship. Yes, I wasn’t anything, but at least he should have assigned some respect to me because of how we were. I left his house and stopped picking up his calls.

He would send money to bait me. He didn’t know my house but knew the area I lived in. He would drive to the area and call, saying he was around so I should see him. I told him I wasn’t around even when I was.

I thought he would stop coming once I kept ignoring him, but this man kept coming and calling every day, apologizing and trying to make me see reason in his repentance. So one day, I opened my door for him and asked what he wanted.

He said, “I thought I’d lost you. Now that I’ve found you, I’m not going to make the mistake of losing you again. Be my girlfriend. Stop the work. I will find you a better job. I want you to stay with me. I had to lose you to know the kind of gem I was missing. Please don’t say no.”

I liked him because of how he treated me until his business partner appeared. I still have a soft spot for him. I don’t know if it’s love, but I have loud fears that drum in my ears every day: What if I say yes and one day he uses my past against me? He’s older. I don’t know his age, but he could be over ten years older. He’s well-to-do too. What kind of woman wouldn’t he get with his status? Or maybe he wants me around so I can perform free services for him.

I want the things he has promised me. Being with him will provide security for my tomorrow, but everything in my head is screaming, “It’s not genuine, so don’t fall for it.”

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?

He’s the only person I’ve given a happy ending to in my line of duty because I liked him. Does he even believe me when I tell him he’s the only one I’ve done that for? It’s these thoughts that give me sleepless nights. Other than that, I would have been with him by now.

—Eme

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Hired, for, ‘Happy, Endings’, Now, Wants, Serious, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/10712.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-hired-me-for-happy-endings-now-he-wants-a-serious-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:20:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101548", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Can We Remove My Boyfriend From That Bottle?", "title_slug": "how-can-we-remove-my-boyfriend-from-that-bottle", "title_hash": "2ea23cbd28f6ed89e4f09cc11a8141e9", "summary": "My boyfriend of two years recently confessed to me that he believes he has been bewitched. He’s a truck driver. He works very hard. There is not a day when …", "content": "

My boyfriend of two years recently confessed to me that he believes he has been bewitched. He’s a truck driver. He works very hard. There is not a day when he doesn’t go to work yet he has nothing to show for it. Whenever something about money comes up he would complain that he doesn’t have anything.

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Can you believe that despite all his sweat and toil, I am the one practically taking care of him? The food he eats, I provide. In fact, think of all the expenses a man makes to live decently, I bear the cost.

There was a time he told me he needed ₦200,000 because all the truck drivers at his workplace were contributing money to buy additional trucks. The story didn’t sound very clear to me, but I still helped him with ₦50,000. A few days later, he called and said, “By the grace of God, I have my own truck now. Thank you for helping me out.”

I was happy for him. I was sure his fortune would turn around and I would start seeing changes in his life in terms of money. To this day, that hasn’t happened. He has never given me anything or contributed a kobo to my life. All he does is take from me.

His behaviour is making me feel like I’m the man in the relationship. There were times I tried to break up with him, but we always found our way to each other. I try to make it work. I try to be patient with him and see if things would change. Nothing changes.

Just last week, I texted him saying I wanted to end things for good. “I am not comfortable with the way there’s no progress in this relationship. We have been marking time since we started dating,” I explained. It was a hard thing to do but I felt it was necessary. I want a future with someone who can be my partner. What we have feels one sided.
\n

I didn’t expect him to accept the break up easily. He never did in the past. And truly, he didn’t disappoint. He said, “Please, don’t leave me until hear what I have to say. Can we meet?” I wasn’t sure it was a good idea but he was persistent. In the end, I went.

That’s when he told me his mother had called from the village to say she did some consultations on his behalf. She wanted to know why his life was stagnant. In her quest, she met a man who revealed something disturbing.
\n

According to her, someone my boyfriend used to work for, back when he was riding a motorbike, was responsible for his lack of progress in life.

“How?” I asked out of curiosity.

“My mother said the man tied me spiritually in a bottle.” He answered. “He bewitched me so that I will keep working hard but never see the results of my labour.”

Honestly, if it was someone else I wouldn’t have bought this. But looking at his life, I believe it might be true. This is a man who works tirelessly, hardly sleeps, yet has nothing to show for it. Each time something good is about to happen for him, it somehow falls apart. It’s heartbreaking to watch him lose everything and sink into depression.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

He doesn’t know what he did to the man for him to do this to him. All we know is that he demanded ₦300,000 to perform a ritual to free my boyfriend from the bottle. But where will he get that kind of money? He’s working, but he’s not earning anything. I also don’t have that kind of money to give him.

Please, is there anyone who knows what can be done in a situation like this?

—Rita

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", "keywords": "How, Can, Remove, Boyfriend, From, That, Bottle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "56", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2973.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/how-can-we-remove-my-boyfriend-from-that-bottle/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:20:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101546", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Grandmother’s Past Has Brought My Family Bad Luck", "title_slug": "my-grandmothers-past-has-brought-my-family-bad-luck", "title_hash": "fb57a821d75a81d6fd4af05bc0109959", "summary": "My grandmother’s past has brought my family bad luck. Livestock farming is one of the main occupations of my community here in Kenya. People have built wealth through this. Those …", "content": "

My grandmother’s past has brought my family bad luck. Livestock farming is one of the main occupations of my community here in Kenya. People have built wealth through this. Those who don’t do it on a large scale still manage to make enough money from it to live comfortably. My mother has ventured into this business. My aunts and uncles have also done it. None of them could make it work.

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Yes, this same farming is what others around us have done and succeeded, but any member of my family who tried it incurred losses. No matter how much effort we put in, the livestock either die or even when they live, they don’t yield any profits.

No, we don’t do it wrong. We try to learn from others who are succeeding. We make adjustments when we learn something from them that we haven’t already tried? We’ve given it time. We’ve been consistent. Like I said, lots of effort. It all amounts to nought.

My grandmother is late but whenever her children talk about her, they recount a time when someone brought her his cow. The man asked her to keep it for him until he returned for it. My grandmother agreed to look after it but she sold the cow.

When the man returned she wasn’t even remorseful. She was rather rude to the man. The man didn’t say anything to her. He walked away quietly looking hurt. Everyone knew her betrayal broke his heart. Even people outside my family who knew the story believe we are having bad luck with animal farming because of that incident.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

If it’s true that we are paying for the sins of her past, then what do we do? She is not here to right her wrongs. We don’t know where the man lived. He may even be dead now. So how do we even apologise to him on her behalf?

The most frustrating part is that my family is not listening to me when it comes to this issue. I keep telling them we should try and find the man’s relatives so we can make amends for what happened. They are refusing to do it. Is there any way around this?

—Wambui

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", "keywords": ", Grandmother’s, Past, Has, Brought, Family, Bad, Luck", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9646.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-grandmothers-past-has-brought-my-family-bad-luck/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:20:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101545", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Neighbour Thinks He Can Use Me Because I’m a Single Mother", "title_slug": "my-neighbour-thinks-he-can-use-me-because-im-a-single-mother", "title_hash": "301841badc6ba884ce82f11ac3d35816", "summary": "There’s this neighbour of mine who recently broke up with his girlfriend and started talking to me. It became an everyday thing. Sometimes he would bring drinks, sometimes small gifts …", "content": "

There’s this neighbour of mine who recently broke up with his girlfriend and started talking to me. It became an everyday thing. Sometimes he would bring drinks, sometimes small gifts for my son. In my head, I thought he was just being nice. But it started feeling too serious, too fast. And the moment his female friends showed up, he would act like I didn’t exist. That was my first red flag.

One day, I sent him a message and asked what exactly he wanted from me. His behaviour was confusing. He replied that it was nothing serious. I didn’t understand what he meant, so I asked again. That’s when he made it clear. He didn’t want a relationship. He wanted sex without commitment.

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I was angry. Very angry. How could he think of me that way? How could he reduce me to that? I bluntly told him to stay away from me and my son. But he didn’t stop. He kept being nice. Almost like he was determined to finish what he started.

Then one Saturday, I was down. My business wasn’t doing well. I was outside, praying and trusting God to come through for me. I ended up crying. He saw me. He came over and asked what was wrong. I didn’t want to open up, but I was vulnerable. I needed someone to talk to. And he was available. He had once told me I could come over and watch a movie with him. So I thought maybe this was the time. Maybe he was offering me space to breathe, to talk, to feel heard.

I went to his place so that I could talk to him and be heard . And the worst happened. We had sex.

Afterwards, I didn’t even ask him what we were. But the first thing he said was that he was still healing from his breakup, which was just two months ago. He said he didn’t want anything serious. He said he was emotionally unavailable.

I wasn’t expecting a relationship either, but the way he said it right after everything cut deep. I felt ashamed. I haven’t gone back since. And he noticed.

Two days later, he brought another lady home.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

He said we should do it without emotions. He said it was nothing. Just sex. That was the moment I advised myself. I realized he just wanted to use me. He’s doing everything possible to get me back to his room. But I’m staying calm. I’m making sure that nonsense doesn’t happen again.

He clearly doesn’t see me as someone worthy to be his woman. Maybe because I’m a single mother. But he wants to take advantage. I know there’s someone else in the picture. He’s just not emotionally available for me. And that’s okay.

What matters is that I haven’t gone back to be used.

So girl, these men can only use you when you make yourself available. Choose yourself. Mine is even a neighbour, but I’m trying so hard to avoid him.

—Kezia

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Neighbour, Thinks, Can, Use, Because, I’m, Single, Mother", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/119729.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-neighbour-thinks-he-can-use-me-because-im-a-single-mother/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-21 05:20:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101382", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Virginia’s Election Could Affect Abortion Access Across the South", "title_slug": "virginias-election-could-affect-abortion-access-across-the-south", "title_hash": "5ca86e206cfdf00a90169df39254cd42", "summary": "In choosing their new governor, legislators, and attorney general, Virginia voters will decide whether the state remains a regional exception with broad reproductive rights—or goes the way of its neighbors.\nThe post Virginia’s Election Could Affect Abortion Access Across the South appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Early voting is in full swing in Virginia’s general election. The results could determine whether abortion remains fully legal and widely available in this Southern battleground state.

If Democrats keep their narrow majority in the 100-seat House of Delegates, they will likely pass a ballot initiative asking voters to enshrine abortion rights in the state constitution in 2026. The Democrat-led state senate passed the measure in January 2025, but must pass an identical proposal in the next legislative session before a constitutional amendment can be put to voters.

If Republicans claw back the legislative majority they held until the 2019 election, they would likely block that effort.

Virginians are also electing their next governor in November. The Democratic candidate, former U.S. Congresswoman Abigail Spanberger, has made protecting reproductive rights a centerpiece of her campaign. Republican Winsome Earle-Sears, the state’s current lieutenant governor, has said she is “morally opposed” to abortion and has signaled support for banning abortion after either six weeks or 15 weeks.

In an Oct. 9 gubernatorial debate, Spanberger accused her opponent of wanting to “inflict upon Virginia” the kind of extreme abortion restrictions passed in nearby states.

“Women have died,” she said of those laws.

Purple state politics

Spanberger, who was endorsed by former President Barack Obama on Oct. 16, “has been the favorite in the gubernatorial race, really the whole time,” said Kyle Kondik in an interview with Rewire News Group. Kondik is the managing editor of Sabato’s Crystal Ball, a nonpartisan newsletter from the University of Virginia’s Center for Politics.

In recent weeks, Spanberger’s roughly 12-point polling lead has narrowed to around 2 to 9 points. The drop followed revelations that the Democratic candidate for Virginia attorney general, Jay Jones, sent text messages viciously insulting a Republican colleague in 2022. Still, Spanberger remains the frontrunner.

A Spanberger win does not itself guarantee that abortion remains protected in Virginia. Because legislators need to pass the abortion amendment again to get it on the ballot, the balance of the Virginia legislature will likely have a more immediate impact on abortion rights, Kondik said.

Even if Earle-Sears—who has not been endorsed by President Donald Trump—snagged the governor’s race, he said, “Democrats probably still would be favored to hold the House of Delegates.”

Yet beyond the persuadable centrist voters who draw national media attention, Virginia contains large pockets of deep conservatism, and those areas have moved rightward with the Republican party. Meanwhile, its growing urban areas lean left.

Virginia’s current governor, Glenn Youngkin, is a right-wing Republican and Trump ally (Youngkin is term-limited by law). But his record on reproductive rights is less extreme than that of any other Southern Republican governor.

In the 2023 state legislative race, Youngkin rallied Republican candidates around a plan to put a 15-week limit on abortion—a stance he apparently hoped could help his party win control of the statehouse. In 2024, Youngkin signed a law backed by abortion advocates that prohibits search warrants, subpoenas, or court orders from being used to obtain private digital health data.

But Youngkin also vetoed bills that would have protected reproductive rights, including “shield” law legislation seeking to protect Virginia abortion providers from civil and criminal prosecution for prescribing abortion medication to patients in states that outlaw it.

Spanberger, of Virginia’s 7th district, has built her political career on winning over centrists and moderates. She flipped her suburban Richmond district from reliably Republican to nominally Democrat in 2018 amid discontent with the extremism of President Donald Trump’s first term. She then narrowly held onto her seat in 2020, with just over 50 percent of the vote, and won it again in 2022, more comfortably.

If Spanberger becomes Virginia’s next governor, she has committed to maintain Virginia’s existing protections—and restrictions—on abortion access.

“I support the current laws within Virginia,” she said in the Oct. 9 debate, “which include limits on minors obtaining abortions, which include limits after the second trimester.”

Spanberger added, “I support the Roe standard,” referring to the Supreme Court’s now-defunct 1973 determination that abortion care is a private medical decision for a pregnant person to make up until fetal viability, which is generally considered to be around 24 to 26 weeks.

That remains the standard in Virginia, and the proposed ballot measure on abortion would essentially codify current law as a state constitutional right.

The next governor will have little say in that initiative other than a review of how the measure is worded on the final ballot, experts say. If voters are given the opportunity to vote on the amendment and ultimately approve the measure, their decision would become law.

Until that happens, however, the governor has significant control over the regulation of abortion care, said Vivian Hamilton, a professor at William & Mary Law School.

“Since there is no constitutional right, continued access is not secure,” Hamilton said. “A governor absolutely can influence the legislators’ ability to protect reproductive rights.”

For example, with a Democratic governor and Democrat-led legislature, Virginia could join the growing ranks of blue states passing “shield” laws.

Regional destination

Virginia is already a destination state for out-of-state patients who want or need an abortion, said Autumn Celeste, communications director for the Blue Ridge Abortion Fund, which serves Virginians seeking abortions and out-of-state patients traveling to Virginia for care.

Abortion funds help patients find clinics and pay for their abortion care. They also sometimes arrange child care and support patients’ care following the procedure.

After Roe fell, Celeste said, “states around us quickly enacted abortion bans.”

Neighboring North Carolina now bans abortion at 12 weeks. Florida and Georgia both outlaw it after six weeks with a few exceptions. Tennessee has a total abortion ban with limited exceptions.

Today, out-of-state patients currently make up about 25 percent of the callers to the Blue Ridge Abortion Fund, up from about 15 percent before Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the Supreme Court case that overturned Roe, was decided, Celeste said. North Carolina, Florida, and Georgia top the list.

Other data backs up this observation. Virginia clinics performed 6,600 more abortions in 2024 than in 2023, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization aiming to improve reproductive rights. The number of out-of-state patients increased by about 4,400. A Guttmacher policy advisor attributed that spike mainly to Florida’s May 2024 six-week abortion ban.

“Virginia really is holding the line for abortion seekers in the South,” Celeste added. “And that’s something that we’re proud of.”

The post Virginia’s Election Could Affect Abortion Access Across the South appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Virginia’s, Election, Could, Affect, Abortion, Access, Across, the, South", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Virginia-Election-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/20/virginia-governor-election-abortion-spanberger-sears/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 08:41:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101067", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Skilled Seducer of the Month, October 2025: Don Gately", "title_slug": "skilled-seducer-of-the-month-october-2025-don-gately", "title_hash": "ac196ff436567e9a5ea45f53fb1e7efe", "summary": "Picking up college girls despite being in his 50s, Don shares his strategies on bedding younger women as a significantly older guy.\nDon Gately is a senior member of the Skilled Seducer Forum who specializes in seducing younger (especially college-aged) girls as an older guy in his 50s.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"Skilled$ Picking up college girls despite being in his 50s, Don shares his strategies on bedding younger women as a significantly older guy.

Don Gately is a senior member of the Skilled Seducer Forum who specializes in seducing younger (especially college-aged) girls as an older guy in his 50s.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Skilled, Seducer, the, Month, October, 2025:, Don, Gately", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/ssotm-don-gately-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/skilled-seducer-month-october-2025-don-gately", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101068", "lang_id": "1", "title": "3 Sexy Triggers that Can Make ANY Girl DTF", "title_slug": "3-sexy-triggers-that-can-make-any-girl-dtf", "title_hash": "550c31580676ede19c735f98b5b5750c", "summary": "Want to flip a girl from on-the-fence about you to coming over ready to smash? Then hit the 3 ‘DTF triggers’: sexual authority, non-judgment, & not being needy.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"DTF$ Want to flip a girl from on-the-fence about you to coming over ready to smash? Then hit the 3 ‘DTF triggers’: sexual authority, non-judgment, & not being needy.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Sexy, Triggers, that, Can, Make, ANY, Girl, DTF", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/dtf-trigger-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/3-sexy-triggers-can-make-any-girl-dtf", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101069", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Escalating to Sex BEFORE You Run Out of Time (The 'Clock Block')", "title_slug": "escalating-to-sex-before-you-run-out-of-time-the-clock-block", "title_hash": "afd1579e137f7f81623edf08ad4a63fb", "summary": "Just because you pulled a girl home doesn’t mean you have time to close. She’s tired or has to go? You’re out! So… how do you avoid a ‘clock block’?\nHey guys. \n\n\n", "content": "

$\"escaping$ Just because you pulled a girl home doesn’t mean you have time to close. She’s tired or has to go? You’re out! So… how do you avoid a ‘clock block’?

Hey guys.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Escalating, Sex, BEFORE, You, Run, Out, Time, The, Clock, Block", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/clock-block-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/escalating-sex-you-run-out-time-clock-block", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101066", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Ways Your Partner Will Touch You If They Really, Truly Love You", "title_slug": "5-ways-your-partner-will-touch-you-if-they-really-truly-love-you", "title_hash": "c2ada39b7a88d62b08fffac33b0a832c", "summary": "It’s strange, the way real love shows itself. Not in words. Not in big plans. Just small, almost…", "content": "It’s strange, the way real love shows itself. Not in words. Not in big plans. Just small, almost…", "keywords": ", Ways, Your, Partner, Will, Touch, You, They, Really, Truly, Love, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-18-2025-01_27_12-AM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/5-ways-your-partner-will-touch-you-if-they-really-truly-love-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101065", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Things a Woman Will Never Do If She Truly Loves You", "title_slug": "7-things-a-woman-will-never-do-if-she-truly-loves-you", "title_hash": "1680dbed2af300cea6633e347f716f0f", "summary": "It’s strange, isn’t it, how real love doesn’t feel the way movies show it. It’s not fireworks, not…", "content": "It’s strange, isn’t it, how real love doesn’t feel the way movies show it. It’s not fireworks, not…", "keywords": ", Things, Woman, Will, Never, She, Truly, Loves, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Stormy-Night-by-the-Pool.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-things-a-woman-will-never-do-if-she-truly-loves-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101064", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Different Needs For Men and Women When it Comes to Intimacy", "title_slug": "7-different-needs-for-men-and-women-when-it-comes-to-intimacy", "title_hash": "2fee0723430084ac23b2571e31b10bb0", "summary": "It’s quiet moments that show it most. The way he reaches for her hand when he doesn’t have…", "content": "It’s quiet moments that show it most. The way he reaches for her hand when he doesn’t have…", "keywords": ", Different, Needs, For, Men, and, Women, When, Comes, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/10-SIGNS-A-WOMAN-HASNT-HAD-SEX-FOR-A-LONG-TIME-1.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-different-needs-for-men-and-women-when-it-comes-to-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101062", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Scotch Whiskies for Fall and Winter", "title_slug": "best-scotch-whiskies-for-fall-and-winter", "title_hash": "f60f37d6a729d7841bd66b73fc59bf5f", "summary": "Celebrate the End of the Year With a Taste of Scotland's Finest", "content": "At times, sipping a spirit, especially a fine dram of whisky, is as much about the feeling it evokes, the mental screensaver in your head, as it is about what’s in your glass. In fact, you could make the case that it’s very nearly both of those things at once: The art and care that goes into the best Scotch whiskies reflects centuries of craftsmanship, a delicate interplay between the geography of Scotland and the dance that is the impact of barrel wood on the whisky within.\r\nThe end result is a rich, delicate spirit, sometimes with smoky, peated notes (a characteristic many think of when first trying Scotch), and other times with floral or earthy notes — again, a delicate interplay is in the works.\r\nThe great news is, with its layered complexity, there’s a warming quality to sipping the best Scotch whisky on a cold fall or winter night. In the same way that the light and bright notes of tequila or gin work well in summer cocktails in the hotter months, Scotch is as fine a companion in autumn as your favorite shawl cardigan. \r\nNot to be confused with “whiskey,” (for example, American bourbon), Scotch must meet the Scotch Whisky Regulations of 2009, although the heritage of many Scotch producers naturally dates back well before that. Scotch must hail from Scotland, of course, and be made from water, malted barley and cereal grains. It must then be aged in oak casks for at least three years, then bottled at no less than 40 percent ABV.\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Beer Lovers\r\nYou’ll also find the designation ‘single malt’ — that means that water, yeast and 100 percent malted barley from one distillery was used in the production process, while blended Scotch whisky often blends single grain & single malt whiskies.\r\nAnd as to the smoky, earthy notes found in different types of Scotch? That comes from using peat as a fire source to dry malted barley, an age-old technique that’s used to great effect in some popular expressions (keep on reading). \r\nFrom there, it’s fair game as producers experiment with aging and with cask finishing, among other distillation experiments (cask finishing involves moving Scotch from a traditional oak barrel into, say, an ex-sherry barrel).\r\nMany distilleries also experiment with the size and shape of their whisky stills — the equipment used to derive alcohol from fermented grain mash. So, while Scotch might at times look similar to bourbon, there’s an entirely new world within your glass. \r\nEach of Scotland’s five distinct production regions (Speyside, Islay, the Highlands & Lowlands, and Campbeltown — the smallest producing region) offer their own distinct characteristics and qualities within a bottle.\r\nThe time has never been more prime to discover what just might become your new favorite sipping spirit this season. \r\nThe Macallan 12-Year Double Cask\r\n\r\nScotch has long had a rarified air about it: There’s a reason James Bond drinks The Macallan. This Speyside distillery carries all the hallmarks of a Scotch from the region, which can often lean more sweet and floral (Speyside also produces about half of the country’s Scotch). \r\nThe Macallan 12, arguably a flagship of the company, is luxurious in looks and packaging, but relatively accessible in terms of flavor — a heavily peated Scotch, this is not. And while it offers a high standard to meet when trying other Scotch, there’s a lovely balance to the use of sherry-seasoned American and European Oak casks.\r\n$73.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nBruichladdich The Classic Laddie\r\n\r\nLook closely at the back line of any bar known for its Scotch or bourbon selection — or indeed, most any bar worth its salt — and you very well might spot the eye-catching, surprisingly modern bottle design of Bruichladdich. While whisky hailing from Islay can lean towards heavily peated, The Classic Laddie (which is proofed down with Islay spring water) is unpeated.\r\nYour bar cart is all the better for it, especially considering this approachable option retails for under $50 most of the time. Expect a touch of salinity and a flora softness to this reliable Scotch.\r\n$51.49 at TotalWine.com \r\nHighland Park 18\r\n\r\nScotland’s northernmost distillery has plenty more going for it than location, although you could say that’s also a selling point. Its heritage dates back to the 1700s, and its Orkney Islands home base makes for as lovely a visit as any if ever you’re given the chance to visit Scotland. Beyond that, Highland Park 18 boasts pleasant smoke on the finish and rich, luscious notes of dark chocolate and even toffee. Highland Park’s 12-year expression, another fan favorite, makes an excellent Penicillin should the mood strike you. \r\nThe distillery just introduced ‘Between You And I,’ a collaborative Scotch effort with Michelin-starred chef Björn Frantzén using 16-year Highland Park matured in virgin Swedish oak.\r\n$169.99 at TotalWine.com\r\nLaphroaig 10-Year\r\n\r\nIf ever there were a Scotch to strongly call to mind the most classic (or rather, the most heavily peated) version of the spirit, it might just be Laphroaig 10, hailing from the Islay region. A mainstay of any Scotch menu, the liquid plays especially when used in traditional Scotch cocktails like a Whisky Highball or especially a Rob Roy. \r\nOn its own, expect a smoky richness some might say evokes a bonfire. Although it’s priced agreeably, this whisky is one to watch out for if you love the heavy influence of smoky peat.\r\n$59.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nLoch Lomond 12-Year\r\n\r\nMaster Blender Michael Henry captures the spirit of the Highlands in this award-winning expression, which takes advantage of the distillery’s re-charring (or barrel resetting) process to deliver soft smoke and honey sweetness in the final product. \r\nWith more than 90 hours of fermentation time to achieve its distillate (most distilleries typically ferment between 48 and 60 hours), delicate fruit-forward characteristics shine through, and innovative yeast strains further aid in experimentation for the company in some expressions.\r\nOn a summer visit to the distillery by AskMen, Brand Ambassador Gary Mills said “we respect tradition, but we’re not defined by it,” and the end result is as engaging and memorable a sipping experience as any.\r\n$849.99 at LochLomondWhiskies.com \r\nTamdhu 12-Year\r\n\r\nSherry oak aging lends plenty of rich character alongside dark fruit aroma and even dashes of cinnamon spice and chocolate in a velvety, sumptuous whisky. \r\nDebate rages on as to a sweet spot in terms of aging, but for under $90, one might argue this Speyside single malt certainly punches above its weight. Keep an eye out for lingering sherry notes on the finish, of course (and keep a further eye out for Tamdhu’s limited-edition expressions, including this year’s Year of the Snake bottling).\r\n$84.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nGlenfiddich Aston Martin F1 16-Year Scotch\r\n\r\nKick things into high gear with one of the most popular Scotch brands on the planet: The long-running Speyside distillery, perhaps best known for its “swan-neck” copper pot stills, does a bit of everything when it comes to aging and finishing, and it does that ‘bit of everything’ quite, quite well indeed. While the packaging and delivery of this expression is rather flashy in support of the ever-popular Aston Martin F1 team, the liquid within is packed with remarkable and remarkably consistent Glenfiddich hallmarks, with a rather fruity and crisp yet overall rich flavor profile.\r\n$74.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nGlenmorangie 12-Year\r\n\r\nPerhaps you’ve spotted legendary actor Harrison Ford professing his love of Glenmorangie Scotch in a series of exclusive videos and photos in a recent campaign. Rest assured that it’s the real deal, complete with an eye-catching and playfully elegant label. A touch floral and fruity, with a surprisingly creamy mouthfeel at the best of times, Glenmorangie’s 12-Year is a shining example of one of the best Scotch whiskies around if you’re just getting into the category (or if your bar cart needs a distinctive near-daily sipper).\r\n$49.96 at TotalWine.com \r\nGlen Scotia 10-Year\r\n\r\nThe push and pull between the natural beauty and harsh landscape of Scotland often leave a marked influence on the character of a spirit. With its postcard-esque charm and foggy maritime geography, Campbeltown itself (home to Glen Scotia) lends plenty to this excellent Scotch. \r\nThere’s an oily character and a touch of sweet salinity in Glen Scotia 10-Year, making for a frankly delicious sipping experience. There’s a vibrancy, along with green floral notes to this whisky, which springs forth from a historic production site that’s utterly distinctive. Keep a weather eye out for ultra-aged expressions from Glen Scotia, like the just-announced Glen Scotia 50.\r\n$69.99 at GlenScotia.com \r\nGlengoyne White Oak\r\n\r\nNot unlike a science experiment, distillers and Scotch producers tweak the aging and finishing process by using different types of barrel wood, including Glengoyne’s use of white Oak. \r\nWhile there’s also a limited-edition expression released earlier this year boasting a 24-year age statement, Glengoyne’s standard-bearer White Oak expression “sings of vibrant wood and bright citrus,” the distillery says, while it clocks in at 48 percent ABV, delivering flavors of candied apple and freshly baked bread.\r\n$49.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nAberfeldy 12-Year\r\n\r\nOne sip of Aberfeldy might remind you of Dewar’s: The whisky is the backbone of Dewar’s Scotch whisky blends, after all, and boasts a 120-plus-year heritage in its own right. And while there are Aberfeldy expressions that creep as high as 39 years in age, its 12-year features an agreeable honey-and-orange backbone that’s exceptionally pleasant and delivered in a handsome bottle. Keep this one handy as an affordable base for Scotch cocktails.\r\n$44.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nIsle of Skye 12-Year\r\n\r\nIt might seem as if there are barriers to entry in the world of Scotch, as the process has been passed down through the centuries and various producing regions jockey for space in your bar cart. For a fine introduction to Scotch at a low, low price, Isle of Skye’s 12-year blended Scotch (hailing from its namesake region, naturally) is as accessible as any, boasting a strong, lingering peat finish buoyed by tasting notes of orange, honeycomb and graham cracker.\r\n$38.99 at TotalWine.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n The Best Whiskeys Around the WorldBest Affordable WhiskeysBest Mocktail Kits", "keywords": "Best, Scotch, Whiskies, for, Fall, and, Winter", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/food-booze/booze/best-scotch-whiskies-for-fall-and-winter/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1760712820.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/food-booze/booze/best-scotch-whiskies-for-fall-and-winter.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101063", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Couples' Guide to Getting Kinky", "title_slug": "the-couples-guide-to-getting-kinky", "title_hash": "fd1332f513d11588d66e8f468f96460b", "summary": "You’ve probably heard the term kink thrown around at some point before, likely as an adjective to describe sex moves that aren’t the norm. If you’re having kinky sex, that probably means it’s going to be hot and freaky.\r\nIf you’re watching kinky porn, you might be going down the rabbit hole of niche porn videos, from horny threesomes to watching naughty couples go at it with BDSM toys. But how far does the scope of what’s kinky go, exactly?\r\nPsychotherapist and certified couples therapist Dr. Lee Phillips says kink can be difficult to define since it often bleeds across several areas of unique sexual expression.\r\n“Kink is best defined as sexual behaviors and preferences that are not easily categorized or different from what we consider typical sexual interests,” he explains. “For example, having sex in a missionary position and then reaching orgasm would be considered 'regular' or 'vanilla' sex. Someone's hands being tied rope, being spanked or having sex in a doggy style position with", "content": "You’ve probably heard the term kink thrown around at some point before, likely as an adjective to describe sex moves that aren’t the norm. If you’re having kinky sex, that probably means it’s going to be hot and freaky.\r\nIf you’re watching kinky porn, you might be going down the rabbit hole of niche porn videos, from horny threesomes to watching naughty couples go at it with BDSM toys. But how far does the scope of what’s kinky go, exactly?\r\nPsychotherapist and certified couples therapist Dr. Lee Phillips says kink can be difficult to define since it often bleeds across several areas of unique sexual expression.\r\n“Kink is best defined as sexual behaviors and preferences that are not easily categorized or different from what we consider typical sexual interests,” he explains. “For example, having sex in a missionary position and then reaching orgasm would be considered 'regular' or 'vanilla' sex. Someone's hands being tied rope, being spanked or having sex in a doggy style position with no control of your hands because they are tied would be considered kinky sex.”\r\nBasically, an intimate that falls outside the “norm” can be considered kinky. That doesn’t have to just refer to the acts taking place in the sack, either.\r\nGetting kinky can start way before the two of you are even in the same room together by sexting each other steamy messages about what you plan to do to each other to get the juices flowing (if you know what I mean).\r\nRELATED: Best Hookup Sites and Apps\r\nReady to learn everything you need to know about kink? Here’s our comprehensive guide to getting kinky with your partner tonight.\r\n\r\n1. Masturbate Together\r\n\r\nMasturbation is kinky in the fact that it’s something that you typically don’t get to see your partner do. In fact, when you’re in a relationship, the idea of masturbating can end up getting a bad rap because of the common misconception that it means your partner is doing so because you’re not fulfilling their needs sexually.\r\nIn reality, Phillips says having your partner masturbate in front of you, and vice versa allows you each to see how the other likes to be touched. Want to take this up a notch? \"It's great if you can’t touch each other,\" says Phillips. \"This can be erotic.\"\r\nIf you're utilizing masturbation as a learning opportunity, try describing how you're touching yourself while you're doing it, and have your partner do the same. Feel free to get descriptive about the pressure, motion and fingers you're using to stimulate yourself for a heightened experience.\r\nTry This: Heated Lubricant\r\n\r\nLube makes masturbation better. If you're watching your partner get off, seeing their reaction as this heated lubricant kicks in makes the experience that much hotter.\r\n$19.99 at AdamEve.com\r\n\r\n2. Experiment With Sexting and Dirty Talk\r\n\r\nSexting is the ultimate form of foreplay for whatever sexual fantasy or kinky move you’re planning to try with your partner later on. \"When we sext and flirt in this way, we are making a deposit into our partner's erotic piggy bank, essentially telling them they are desirable,\" says Skyler.\r\nBut before you break out your phone, you’ll want to keep a few ground rules in mind about what your texts should consist of — and what to leave out.\r\n“Ground rules may include the time of day and the content you sext about,” says Phillips.\r\nFor example, sexting your partner while they're in the middle of an important work meeting wouldn't be ideal. Phillips also suggests leaving some things to the imagination. “You may want to only sext about how you are going to take their clothes off and leave out the actual sex part because you want to save it,” he says.\r\nSo, you know when and how to use it. But what should your sext actually say?\r\n“Have a check-in with your partner on their turn-ons and their turn-offs,” says Phillips.\r\nDon't assume that just anything goes when it comes to sexting. If you're going to include suggestive photos in your sexts, make sure that your partner has consented to receive them — and that you trust them. “If both parties consent, make sure you trust the integrity of the other person to keep the pictures private,” says Skyler.\r\nAlso, keep the power of adjectives in mind. For example, the message “I can’t wait to go down on you” can easily be kicked up a few notches by adding some more descriptive language and turn into, “I can’t wait to go down on your [insert description of your partner's genitalia here].”\r\nOne more caveat: If you and the partner you want to sext with haven’t had “the talk” about whether or not you’re seeing each other exclusively, sexting could end up hurting your cause rather than helping it.\r\nWhy? If you two aren’t there yet, sending a sext could end up making them feel insecure about how you view your relationship with them (read: just using them for sex).\r\nIf you’re not ready to start sexting just yet, there are plenty of online private chatrooms to discuss alternative sex that you can visit, draw inspiration from and even take a few messages out for a test drive. Now would also be a good time to mention we’ve made an entire sexting guide dedicated to helping guys hone this craft.\r\n\r\n3. Try Strap-On Sex\r\n\r\nDon’t knock it until you’ve tried it. As Phillips explains, strap-on sex offers couples an opportunity to try something new sexually and play with different power dynamics and is great for gender-affirming identities.\r\nA heterosexual couple may engage in strap-on sex, also known as pegging, when a woman puts on the strap-on and penetrates the man anally,' Phillips explains. \"Also, transmasculine people who have not had bottom surgery can use one to penetrate their partner. Transfeminine people who have had bottom surgery can use one to penetrate their partner. This also goes for non-binary folks as well.\"\r\nIf you and your partner are curious about strap-on sex, communication is key. Skyler says once partners determine who will be penetrated, it's important for beginners to start with smaller, slimmer strap-on models.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Pegging\r\nPhillips recommends getting comfortable with anal penetration by using glass butt plugs. \"Glass butt plugs are slick, and you can warm them up to relax the anus,\" he says. \"Start with a small one first, and you can leave it in for 30 minutes or longer.\"\r\nIt's important to clean strap-ons before and after use, and don't forget to use a lube that's compatible with your strap-on of choice.\r\nTry this: Newcomers Strap-On Dildo Set\r\n\r\nThis beginner-friendly strap-on fits all sizes of dildo attachments. It's adjustable and easy to maneuver.\r\n$49.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nTry This: Anal Lube\r\n\r\nWhether you’re a first-time “peggee” or a seasoned pro, you can’t have good anal play without using plenty of quality anal lube. Opt for a water-based lube that will keep the anus lubricated without causing damage to the dildo, like this formula from Adam&Eve.\r\n$12.99 at AdamEve.com\r\n\r\n4. Use Some Kinky Sex Toys\r\n\r\nThe vast world of sex toys goes way beyond your typical vibrator. From extreme bondage toys to sex swings and whips to the more advanced pieces of technology like couple’s vibrators that pleasure both partners simultaneously, there’s never been a better time to be fornicating. Ready to start shopping? Here are a few options to consider.\r\nTry This: Magic Wand\r\n\r\nBuying a magic wand is an investment — but this versatile toy is well worth it. The powerful vibrating head can be used to massage the body and stimulate you and your partner's pleasure zones.\r\n$79.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nTry This: Sex Swings\r\n\r\nCombine the pleasure of sex with the joy of swinging on a swing thanks to this kinky contraption. Explore a series of thrilling sex positions only possible when suspended in this manner.\"\r\n$69.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTry This: Fetish Cuffs\r\n\r\nThese fetish fantasy cuffs feel enough like the real thing to give you and your partner a thrill but are completely safe and removable. Skyler suggests using these cuffs to amplify role-play scenarios.\r\n$24.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nTry This: Sex Blindfold\r\n\r\nBy obstructing your view, blindfolds help heighten your other senses, which can elevate your sexual experience. If there are certain acts and positions you and your partner particularly enjoy, wearing a blindfold allows you to experience them in a whole new light.\r\n$14.99 at AdamEve.com\r\n\r\n5. Explore S&M\r\n\r\nThanks to the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon, S&M is becoming more popular with couples that are looking to experiment with kink. But what does it actually involve?\r\n\"When combined with fetishes and kink, it is a broad colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviors and interests,\" explains Phillips. The S stands for sadism, which refers to giving sensation play or giving pain to a partner (in a consensual, agreed upon way – think rough sex). The M stands for masochism, or the receiving end of sensation and pain.\r\n\"It is appealing because it is stepping out of the norm with sex,\" says Phillips. \"Also, it is intense and focuses on concentration on the present moment.\"\r\nThis is often done through dominance and submission play, where one partner is rendered helpless using ropes or other bondage toys, and the other is the one carrying out the acts. But there are lesser degrees of S&M that aren’t as intense. For example, you probably wouldn’t describe yourself as a sadist if you’ve spanked your partner during sex – but spanking does fall under this category.\r\nIf you haven’t tried S&M but you’re interested in getting started, keep in mind that the most important factor here is sexual consent. If you’re going to break out S&M toys that render your partner immobile (like bondage restraints) or unable to speak (like with a ball gag) knowing what their limits are and when to stop is pretty important.\r\nPhillips recommends mapping out the scene with your partner, getting clear on what you're both comfortable with and what your limitations are. If you and your partner are new to S&M play, bondage may be an ideal place to start. It still enforces the S&M power dynamics but doesn't inflict as much pain as more advanced S&M toys.\r\nIf you don’t have a partner, sites like Collarspace, BDSM.com and BDSMSingles.com are designed to connect S&M enthusiasts with people who are ready and willing to play in your area.\r\nTry This: Bondage Rope\r\n\r\nMake sure the bondage toys you’re using are actually for that type of play – not just whatever rope happens to be lying around the house, as this could lead to some pretty painful burns. A trusted rope like Japanese Shibari is easy on the wrists and ankles but will keep your partner in place.\r\n$19.99 at PinkCherry.com\r\n\r\n6. Try Dom/Sub Play\r\n\r\nDom/Sub play is another sexual kink that focuses on power dynamics. Dom stands for dominant, or the person who's in control. Sub refers to the submissive partner, who obeys what the Dom asks for.\r\n\"Dom/Sub play focuses on the consensual difference in power between the partners both from a physical and mental aspect,\" Phillips explains. This type of kink is usually performed between partners who are in a committed relationship. In some Dom/Sub relationships, the submissive partner is made to obey the dominant one both in and out of the bedroom for an allotted period of time.\r\nRELATED: How to Be Dominant in a Relationship\r\n\"Dom/Sub play can spice up the relationship and allow you to be someone else in the bedroom,\" says Phillips. \"For example, the CEO of an organization is giving orders all day. In the bedroom, they may want to take orders.\"\r\nThe dynamics of a Dom/Sub relationship aren't always limited to physical acts. \"This can be verbal power play using words of humiliation or physical power play where the Dom has their Sub serve them sexually or submit to their physical desires,\" Skyler explains.\r\nIf Dom/Sub play is something you and your partner are interested in exploring, Skyler urges partners to read up on the details of Dom/Sub play. \"Really learn the terrain so you can safely enter into this dynamic, ensuring you have a safe word and solid boundaries as you begin,\" she says.\r\nTry This: Fetish Feather Duster\r\n\r\nAccessories that amplify sensation and allow for role play are ideal for beginner Dom/Sub partners. This feather tickler still allows the Dom to have control over the sensation, but without inflicting pain.\r\n$19.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nTry This: Bondage Restraints\r\n\r\nThis beginner bondage kit is easy to use and set up. The restraints are soft and padded, yet sturdy enough to hold a new Sub in place.\r\n$29.99 at AdamEve.com\r\n\r\n7. Experiment With Threesomes\r\n\r\nThreesomes are often seen as the holy grail of sexual experiences — and for good reason. Threesomes can be fun because they offer the opportunity to have a shiny, new and often taboo experience,\" says Dr. Jenni Skyler, an LMFT- and AASECT-certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com.\r\nAs Phillips explains, the appeal isn't always just about having someone new to please you. \"You may have the erotic curiosity of watching your partner get pleasured by someone else,\" he says.\r\nIn terms of how to get a threesome started, you’ll want to get on the same page with your partner about the type of experience you're looking for before you start putting out feelers.\r\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Threesomes\r\n“For example, will you use protection or do you agree to have fluid bonding during sex?\" says Phillips. “Is there a decision to have dinner and drinks first so you can get to know the person before inviting them in for a play date? Will there be kissing? Penetrative sex? Where will you orgasm? Will you host the person or travel to their place? These are all important questions.”\r\nAnother consideration that may factor in: Inviting someone one or both of you is already familiar with. Though this might seem like the obvious route to go initially, you’ll want to make sure this is someone who has not been a point of contention for either of you in the past. So, the coworker from your office that was “all over you” at your company outing — according to your partner — is probably not the best candidate. But the attractive friend of a friend who lives out of town that you both rarely see but always get along with when you do? They just might be the ideal contender.\r\nIf your partner truly isn’t comfortable with the idea, you should never force it on them. But if they are curious about what it would be like — but not quite ready to try it out in real life just yet, consider starting slow. \"Some beginners may even want to keep the threesome as a make-out session to ensure it feels safe to everyone,\" says Skyler.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tRole Playing During Sex\r\n\tThe Dos and Don'ts of Hiring a Dominatrix\r\n\tBest Threesome Positions, Illustrated", "keywords": "The, Couples, Guide, Getting, Kinky", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/top_10/dating/7-kinky-things-she-loves-but-won-t-tell-you/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1760708985.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/7-kinky-things-she-loves-but-won-t-tell-you.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101060", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Having Sex With Your Ex: Should You Do It? If So, How?", "title_slug": "having-sex-with-your-ex-should-you-do-it-if-so-how", "title_hash": "9ad14144ab38e4fafc658fea91aceafd", "summary": "Yes, you can do it. But when you’re done and you’ve cleaned up, get the hell out. Here are the rest of our indispensable tips.", "content": "Whether you broke up yesterday or a decade ago, talking to an ex can be a fraught experience. Your pulse might quicken, your breathing might become shallow, you might cry, or feel the urge to punch the nearest wall.\r\nConversely, you might also feel a desire to be physically intimate with your ex again, wondering, “What if…?” And depending on how your ex feels, you might find yourself, at some point in the future, with the opportunity to fulfill that desire. \r\nRELATED: How to Break Up With Someone Nicely\r\nBut should you? Having sex with an ex might feel exciting, but it can also be a recipe for even more heartbreak — for one or both parties involved, to say nothing of any current partners either of you might have.\r\nTo help, AskMen spoke with a few relationship experts in order to better understand why people want to hook up with their exes, and whether it’s ever a good idea.\r\n\r\nWhy Do People Have Sex With Their Exes?\r\n\r\nIf you think about it, wanting to have sex with your ex is a sort of paradoxical desire — if you really want them, why didn’t you stay together? Shouldn’t this be the last person on your mind when it comes to one of the most intense forms of closeness there is? \r\nFor SKYN Condoms's sex and intimacy expert Dr. Chris Donaghue, the desires aren’t as contradictory as all that, in part because sex and love are such vastly different things. \r\n“People connect and are compatible on many different levels, and the recognition that a committed or romantic relationship isn’t viable doesn’t mean that partners can’t still enjoy the sexual chemistry that does exist,” says Donaghue. \r\nIt can also be a way to lessen the blow of a breakup by keeping at least one aspect of the relationship going after the others have stopped. \r\n“Sex with an ex feels safe and comfortable for a lot of people,” he adds. “The comfort and familiarity of sex with an ex is a valuable bridge back out into singledom, while keeping each other company and enjoying many of the things that brought you together.”\r\nSomeone would want to get it on with a former flame for many reasons: “They would like to rekindle the relationship, they’re lonely, they’re craving familiarity, they feel safe with each other sexually, they’re feeling horny or yearning to experience something pleasurable from the past, or yearning to escape emotional pain,” says Dr. Janet Brito, a sex therapist based in Hawaii. \r\nUnfortunately, sex with an ex might also come about for more troubling reasons. While drinking can certainly have an influence on one’s decision making, they could also “be in denial that the relationship is over,” notes Brito. “They may be idealizing the past and forgetting why they broke up in the first place, they may have low self-esteem, or they may be seeking closure.”\r\nBut whatever the reason may be, it’s clear that wanting to hook up with an ex isn’t all that uncommon. \r\n“Nostalgia can be an aphrodisiac,” states Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation and dating coach for The League. “The lens of passed time can blur the pain of the breakup, and you’re left with the good memories. This can create a powerful yearning. An old flame still burns hot.”\r\nHowever, once the deed’s been done, it might “remind you how incompatible you were, especially if you suffered from sexual desire discrepancy, and reaffirm you made the right decision,” notes Brito.\r\n\r\nWhether Pursuing Sex With Your Ex Is a Good Idea or Not\r\n\r\nNow, just because it’s perfectly normal to experience sexual desire for an ex after a breakup doesn’t mean that actually trying to make it happen is a good idea. \r\nThere are plenty of ways that sex with an ex can lead to negative consequences. Even outside the possible emotional fallout of one of you falling for the other while the other remains uninterested, there’s also the potential for STI transmission if one of you has gotten an infection since your last hookup (or even a pregnancy, if you’re having penis-in-vagina sex). \r\nBut how do you tell a fun, no-strings attached hookup with someone you have pre-existing sexual chemistry with from a massive, red-flag covered mistake waiting to happen? \r\nSigns You Shouldn’t Pursue Sex With Your Ex\r\nFor starters, if there’s any danger of your ex trying to actively hurt you — physically or psychologically — don’t do it. \r\n“If you don’t trust your ex or if they are abusive, you should completely terminate the relationship,” says Donaghue. “For those feeling trapped and unable to get over their ex, the best course of action is to allow space physically and psychologically, which means not only not seeing them but also not having sex with them either.”\r\nHowever, there are lots of good reasons not to pursue sex with an ex even if you don’t have to fear for your well-being. \r\n“If you are aware that your ex still has feelings for you and would like to get back together with you, but you’re not interested, it’s best not to open up this can of worms,” says Brito. \r\nRELATED: Signs Your Ex Has Moved On\r\nAnother reason to abstain? If you’re not over things, either. \r\n“If you have unresolved feelings, don’t go there,” says Barrett. “The last thing you want is to halt the healing process. One night in the sack could set you back six months.”\r\nIt can be easy to convince yourself that everything’s fine, especially if a potential hookup is on the line, so Barrett suggests trying a little thought experiment to help you see where things stand. \r\n“Here’s a test to see if you’ve moved on,” he says. “Does the thought of your ex having sex with someone else drive you crazy?”\r\nIf so, now’s not the time to send a suggestive text. \r\nSigns It’s OK to Pursue Sex With Your Ex\r\nThis is the type of thing that shouldn’t be entered into lightly, and you’ll have to discuss it a little bit beforehand in order to make sure you’re on the same page with. \r\n“If you’re both in agreement that you’re hooking up for sexual purposes only, and both understand that it is a casual experience that doesn’t involve an emotional commitment,” that’s when Brito considers it an option.\r\nRELATED: How to Get Your Ex Back \r\nIt’s also important, she notes, that you be “able to walk away in a mature manner, meaning, you both understand that this casual encounter can end at any time.”\r\nAnother sign? No ill-will, she adds.\r\nIf neither of you is “harboring any negative feelings toward each other about why you broke up,” that’s a sign that a post-breakup hookup could be a smooth process. \r\nHere’s one last sign that having sex with your ex could be a good idea: You both “want to give things another try, as a couple,” says Barrett, not simple a pair of exes hooking up. \r\n\r\nDos and Don’ts for Having Sex With Your Ex\r\n\r\nBefore you start stripping your clothes off and re-familiarizing yourselves with each other’s bodies, it’s important for you and your ex to establish some basic guidelines. Not all sex is created equal, and some hookups are much more likely to end badly than others. On that note, remember these points:\r\nHave Fun in Mind\r\n“Have sex with exes where your only goal is to have fun and connect,” says Donaghue. “Don’t have any other expectations, as sex promises nothing long-term.”\r\nDon’t Get Ambitious\r\nHowever excited you might be about sleeping with your ex again, don’t use a post-breakup hookup as an opportunity to try out new moves, positions or techniques, or cross sex dreams off your bucket list. This is an exercise in nostalgia and connection, not exploration or box ticking.\r\nBe Consent-Oriented\r\nJust because you’re hooking up with someone you’re familiar with already doesn’t mean you can’t violate their consent. These are potentially emotional situations even at the best of times, and it’s possible to quickly slip from aroused to sad. Pay attention to their cues, check in, and be prepared to stop immediately if they’re not into it any longer. \r\nDon’t Make It a Habit\r\n“Just do it once — twice, if you count morning sex,” says Barrett. “Making them your ‘ex with benefits’ can keep you both from moving forward and finding someone new for a real relationship.” \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tWhen Your Ex Moves On (Here's What to Do)\r\n\tTips for Getting Over Your Ex\r\n\tPost-Breakup Rules to Stay Sane", "keywords": "Having, Sex, With, Your, Ex:, Should, You, It, How", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/have-sex-with-your-ex/askmen-lead-image-2x1-3-1760720054.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/have-sex-with-your-ex.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101061", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Conduct a Dating Audit", "title_slug": "how-to-conduct-a-dating-audit", "title_hash": "d0880547271f0577980fcf6880c3af44", "summary": "8 Questions to Ask Yourself When Your Dating Life Isn't Working Out As You Would Like", "content": "Maybe you just got out of a long-term relationship and you’re getting ready to date again, but cautiously. Or you’re sick of swiping and going on one first date after the other without any real momentum. Regardless of the specifics, if you’re currently contemplating the state of your love life and feeling like something has to change, it’s the perfect time to conduct a dating audit. \r\nWhat’s a dating audit? It’s an honest assessment of your dating life – you check in with yourself and gain insights about what you want, what’s working, what’s not, and, most importantly, what to do differently moving forward.\r\n“A lot of people are dating purely on instinct, most have never paused to think about how they're doing it and what their end goals are,” says Ed Bell, founder and CEO at Better Gay Dating. “Taking some time to reflect can really help people date more intentionally and strategically, and dramatically increase the chances of getting what they want.”\r\nYou might realize that the way you currently approach dating isn’t actually serving you. Even though it can be hard to accept, it’s also an opportunity. “A dating audit allows you to make sure that the way you are navigating dating is aligned with your goals for connection. With greater awareness, [you can] break unwanted cycles and stop repeating past mistakes. This clarity can also help boost your confidence in choosing whether to pursue or end a connection,” says Tara Gogolinski, LMFT and founder of Rising Tides Therapy Center.\r\nRELATED: Best Dating Apps for Hooking Up\r\nReady to conduct your own dating audit? Here are eight impactful questions to ask yourself to guide the process, according to dating and relationship experts.\r\n1. What Am I Truly Looking For?\r\nWhether you’re only interested in hook-ups, would love to meet a life partner or are curious about polyamory, take the time to explore your true desires. Imagine what would feel fulfilling, not what you think you should want. “In an era of way too many choices on apps, getting crystal clear on our wants and needs makes it much easier to build with the right partner when they come along,” says Bell. \r\n2. Am I Dating in the Right Spaces to Find That?\r\n“Once someone's figured out what they want, it's worth getting honest about whether you're pursuing an intentional path to meet the right people for you, not just the easiest path (often the apps). There are lots of great in-person social spaces and events that can often lead to more aligned connections,” adds Bell. \r\nFor example, if you’re hoping to meet someone to start a family yet spend most of your energy swiping right in an attempt to play a numbers game, that approach might not be serving you. You might have better luck in more naturally filtered environments, like a running club, a speed dating event or a specialized dating app.\r\n3. Have My Behaviors Been Leading to My Relationship Goal?\r\nOnce you’ve identified what you want and where you’re meeting people, it’s time to get honest with yourself. Are your current choices truly aligned with your goals? The answer to this question might lead you to end a situationship or even call someone back for another date. \r\n“For example, if a young man isn’t ready for a serious relationship, has he been honest about that with women who are looking for a long-term relationship?” asks Dr. Wendy Walsh, psychology professor and relationship expert at DatingAdvice. “On the other hand, if he’s looking for a long-term relationship and is ready to settle down, why is he hanging out with women who may be highly physically attractive, but don’t have compatible values or are not [ready for a relationship]?”\r\n4. How Am I Showing up on Dates?\r\nUnpacking the way you show up on dates can be helpful too, as it’s easy to have blind spots that might be preventing you from moving past the first date or from turning an initial spark into something more. \r\nBell suggests asking yourself follow-up questions like, “Am I creating a shared space for us to get to know each other?” and “Am I asking interesting and meaningful questions or just hoping vibes and physical attraction lead to a connection?” The answers can be revealing and transform the way you interact. “We build great relationships, we don't just find them,” says Bell.\r\n5. How Much Vulnerability Do I Bring to the Dating Process?\r\nAsking questions that foster connection is one thing. But how do you answer them? Do you open up about your true thoughts and feelings, even when it’s uncomfortable? Or do you tend to clam up and stay stoic? Men are often conditioned to do the latter, but it can sabotage their love life, as vulnerability is necessary to cultivate emotional intimacy. As Bell puts it, “it's often when we meaningfully let down our guard that deeper connection really begins.” \r\n6. Are There Emotional Skills I Can Work on to Be in a Healthy Relationship?\r\nIf you struggle having conversations about feelings, it’s worth pinpointing what’s blocking you and working on it. “Some men may not even be aware of their feelings,” says Walsh. “Others may have insight, but simply don’t have the emotional vocabulary to describe what they’re feeling. These skills can be learned with the help of a therapist – and they’re crucial to sustaining a healthy relationship down the road. \r\n7. What Qualities Am I Looking for in a Potential Partner to Feel Seen, Heard, and Understood?\r\nWhile there’s value in assessing your own goals, feelings and behaviors, it’s also important to ask yourself questions about the kind of partner you’re hoping to meet. Many people make the mistake of having a surface-level checklist – age, body type and shared interests, for example. But those things don’t necessarily translate into compatibility. “This question allows you to explore your needs and get grounded in what makes you feel emotionally safe in a relationship,” says Gogolinski. \r\n8. What Are Patterns I Notice in Partners That Have Not Been a Good Fit?\r\nRevisiting the past is sometimes necessary to create a better romantic future. Gogolinski suggests this question to look for commonalities in the people you’ve dated. For example, maybe you’ve been with more than one person who constantly criticized you, or you’ve always been attracted to women who are hot and cold with you. Or, on the flipside, maybe you’ve always appreciated how open-minded one of your exes was, and that quality has stuck with you. Having these types of “aha” moments can give you more clarity about what to look for (or look out for) moving forward. \r\nTaking the time to properly reflect on these questions can sometimes feel daunting, but it can transform your love life. It’s too easy to date on autopilot. When you assess the state of things with honesty and curiosity, you can unlock a whole new experience of dating – one that’s more aware, intentional and aligned with what you actually want.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Use Tinder for Hooking UpWhat Is Monkey-Branching?Signs She's Not Interested in You", "keywords": "How, Conduct, Dating, Audit", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-to-conduct-a-dating-audit/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1760715917.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-to-conduct-a-dating-audit.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:58:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "101054", "lang_id": "1", "title": "K-Pop Demon Hunters Date Night", "title_slug": "k-pop-demon-hunters-date-night", "title_hash": "eff09e35fcfd9f4aafdc1f1f74286eb5", "summary": "Bring the fun of K-Pop Demon Hunters home with this playful date night! Eat ramen, sip sodas, sing karaoke, and write fan letters to each other.\nThe post K-Pop Demon Hunters Date Night appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Bring the fun of K-Pop Demon Hunters home with this playful date night! Eat ramen, sip sodas, sing karaoke, and write fan letters to each other.

The post K-Pop Demon Hunters Date Night appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "K-Pop, Demon, Hunters, Date, Night", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "52", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/ChatGPT-Image-Oct-16-2025-09_48_33-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/k-pop-demon-hunters-date-night/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:57:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "100881", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Lives in My House With Me But in a Relationship With Another Woman", "title_slug": "he-lives-in-my-house-with-me-but-in-a-relationship-with-another-woman", "title_hash": "8eb095f1705a67817358a5eefbcb7243", "summary": "We were in school together. He helped me a lot while we were in school. We were in the same study group, and when I needed extra help, he was …", "content": "

We were in school together. He helped me a lot while we were in school. We were in the same study group, and when I needed extra help, he was there for me. I developed feelings for him at some point, but he didn’t notice. I thought if I made it a little obvious he would know, but he didn’t take the bait. I kept my love for him to myself until school was over.

After school, he was the only person I kept in contact with. We didn’t talk all the time, but once in a while, he would say hello, or I would, and we would talk all day. I knew what he did for work, and he also knew mine. We interacted on social media and wherever our online paths crossed. Six years after school, he called to tell me the company he was working for was taking him abroad to work, but he needed to be in Accra for a month before traveling.

He needed a place to stay for only a month. “That will be very difficult. Unless you stay in a hotel, I don’t think you’ll get a place to rent for a month,” I told him. After several days of going back and forth about this, I offered him my place and he took it. After all, it was for only a month.

He came to stay with me, and it felt like nothing had been lost since the time we were in school. We were bubbly and playful all day. I would cook for us. He would help me clean, we would watch a movie all night until we retired to bed. We slept in separate rooms. I started developing feelings for him again. This time it was stronger because we lived together. He also felt it and showed it in different ways. One day he tried to kiss me, but I avoided the kiss.

I was in love, but I wanted things to be done right. “Why are you kissing me?” I asked. “I can’t explain the feeling,” he answered. “It’s so strong, Diana.” I asked, “Is that your way of saying we should start something together?”

He paused for a while and said, “I’m not sure.” I told him to be sure first because I didn’t want something that doesn’t have a name. He tried again a day later and even came to my room to hold me in his embrace. He kept me there all night. I was feeling the warmth. My heart said I should let myself go. My mind said I should be sure of what I was going to have before I have it. So I closed my door every night before I went to sleep.

“What are you unsure of?” I asked.
\n“The distance that might exist between us, and also, there’s a woman in my life. It’s not anything in particular, but she’s there.”

Once I knew there was someone in his life, I started counting the days until he would leave my place. But his office kept postponing the travel, so he kept living with me. One month turned to three months, and I could see he loved the fact that I was cooking for him, providing companionship, and also hosting him. He loved our living situation so much he consistently told me that he wished it never ended. “It’s like we were married. Eii, that means married couples are enjoying, ooo.”

But he wasn’t ready to commit. One day it became very definite that his travel arrangement had been canceled, but he was going to stay in Accra. They even gave him a transfer letter stating his new role and station. He was disappointed but happy that he could stay in Accra. I told him, “Then we need to start looking for a place for you.” He responded, “I thought we were happy here. Why do I need to move?”

I told him I couldn’t continue to live with him when there was nothing going on. He said we could start something together now that he was assured he wasn’t traveling. I asked, “How about your girlfriend? The lady in your life?” He answered, “Don’t worry about her. It’s not that deep.”

I didn’t know her, but to me, it was deep. I told him that as long as there was someone in his life, it wouldn’t work. He asked me for some time. “Time to do what?
\n“Time to break up with her.”
\n“That’s fine, but you don’t get the time here. Do it while away from here. Come back when you’re sure.”

He didn’t want to go away. He lived with me, doing everything to let me know I was the one he loved. He showed me a breakup message from the lady, but when I asked if I could call the number to confirm, he told me the breakup was too fresh, so the lady would be even more hurt if I called to let her know I’m the one he’s dating. He’s doing everything to continue to live with me, but I’m not buying it.

Currently, I’ve left my room for him. I’ve gone to live with my sister, who already knows about the issue. She said, “Can’t you throw his things outside? He should go to his girlfriend. What is he doing taking over your house?”

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

But I think being here gives me time away from him to reflect and also gives him time to reflect on what he really wants. He says he wants me. He says I should come home, but I’ve given him one month. If he doesn’t move, I’ll be forced to evict him. But the tiny voice in my head keeps whispering, “Give him a chance. It will work out just fine.”

Do you agree with the voice in my head?

—Diana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Lives, House, With, But, Relationship, With, Another, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/5790.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-lives-in-my-house-with-me-but-in-a-relationship-with-another-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:43:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "100882", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Shadows Of My Past Are Haunting My Marriage", "title_slug": "the-shadows-of-my-past-are-haunting-my-marriage", "title_hash": "ab46711a843f4e6aa5742e899133b833", "summary": "I met my wife in London when we were both young and full of dreams. Looking back now, I can admit I wasn’t the man I should have been. Between …", "content": "

I met my wife in London when we were both young and full of dreams. Looking back now, I can admit I wasn’t the man I should have been. Between 2004 and 2008, I was reckless, selfish, and unfaithful. The things I did in the name of pleasure were shameful. At the time, I didn’t fully understand the damage I was causing with my womanising ways but today, it’s affecting my marriage terribly.

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At some point, we both moved from London. I went to Ghana while she relocated to the United States. In Ghana, my associations didn’t help. I had friends who were into that lifestyle. The women I met also didn’t care that I was married. It was the right environment for my promiscuity. I took advantage of the opportunities that came my way.

Then in 2024, I joined her in the U.S. It changed everything. I realised the errors of my ways. I saw for myself the pain I’d caused my family, and the love I had taken for granted. That was my turning point.

I gave up my lifestyle and chose to focus on my family. I cut off all my side pieces. These days, I live with complete transparency. I have no passwords on my phone, something that used to be a constant source of suspicion.

I used to think being a good husband meant providing a home, a car, and money for good schools. Now, I have learned that I have been wrong all along. I am present these days. I show up for my family physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I have completely turned over a new leaf and it’s working. My kids who were detached from me now talk to me. They play with me. My 12-year-old son confides in me — something he never did before. In these moments, I feel the grace of redemption.

However, just when I thought I was rebuilding trust between me and my wife, I made what I now call a destructive mistake. I reconnected with a former university girlfriend from Ghana, who is also married and living in the States.

It was an innocent conversation. I was seeking advice about a process she had gone through. After that, she started asking questions about research, something I am good at. And I helped her. Back when we were a couple, we were never intimate. So there was absolutely nothing to rekindle.

My wife went through my messages and the fact that I was talking to someone from my past didn’t sit well with her. She brought up issues from ages ago, 2007 thereabouts. Despite my honesty and the harmless nature of the chat, she believes I haven’t changed. She says she doesn’t want me anymore.

We are still in the marriage but according to her, “You are who you are. You will never change.” I’ve apologised over and over, but her heart is closed.

In the past, I would have taken this as a cue to run back to other women and find comfort in the very sin that broke us. That’s not who I am anymore. Since July 2025, she hasn’t allowed me to touch her. I got tired of asking for it and stopped asking.

I tell myself that if Catholic priests can live without sex, then so can I. My body can wait; what I crave now is peace.

What hurts the most is that now, when I have finally changed. So I ask, am I wrong to withdraw quietly, to focus on being the best father I can be, and to support her and our children in every way I can, without trying to make her believe me?

Honestly, the things she does now (the nagging, the coldness, and the inability to see any good in me while everyone else does) are the same things that once pushed me away. I am not saying she is the problem. I understand that she is acting this way because she is angry. On any day, she is a good mother and wife.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I’ve made a vow to God, to myself, and for the sake of my children, that no other woman will ever see my nakedness again, except perhaps a doctor or nurse.

Since she thinks I haven’t changed, I will let go. I will also be in the marriage even if we don’t have a romantic relationship anymore.

—Raf

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Before my birth, my mother had lost three children. All three were born alive but died shortly after they came to this world. According to the stories my parents told me, the one who survived the longest lived for only a month. When my mother conceived me, she did everything possible to make sure I didn’t suffer the same fate as those before me.

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She didn’t tell me what exactly she did but there was a white cloth tied around my right wrist when I was growing up. They didn’t tell me what it was or why I had to wear it. When wearing it became uncomfortable at some point, every attempt I made to get my parents to remove it fell on deaf ears. So, one day, I took matters into my own hands and cut it off. That was the beginning of my struggles as a child.

I began to experience sleep paralysis. It happened randomly and continued for over thirteen. During those moments, I would see images of women with cloth tied around their waists, carrying calabashes, and moving in circles around me. I became so overwhelmed by their presence that fear lost its meaning to me.

As a child, I was troublesome. I often got into fights and physically harmed anyone I considered a threat. Almost every month, an adult or child would report me to my parents for injuring them.

I could see things — intimate details about people — and sometimes predict or desire evil, and it would come to pass. Woe betide anyone who offended me during the day. At night, I would sit and imagine something evil happening to them, and within weeks or months, it would manifest.

One day, I woke up and told my mother that I had seen a man in our community dying soon. She beat me so severely that I kept quiet about such things.

When I got older and things got too difficult, I sought help from four different traditional priests. Each one told me they couldn’t help because I didn’t need help. I reached a point of despair and even tried to unalive myself, but every time I attempted it, someone showed up and stopped me.

In 2004, I attended a camp meeting. During one of the services, the man of God divided participants into groups based on their challenges. That evening, I prayed sincerely and told God to take away anything in me that did not bring Him honor.

In an instant, I became dazed and then felt a relief like never before. That moment marked the end of my nightmares and ushered me into a new, free life.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Since then, I have given my all to Jesus. It has been miracle after miracle. I am in a far better place now, and all attempts to cause me harm, especially through charms, have failed woefully.

I don’t deny the existence of powers and principalities, but I know this for sure: you have the power to choose whom you will serve and yield yourself to.

—Danny

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My mother told me that when I was born, my father disowned me. He said I was too ugly to be his daughter. He refused to hold me or carry me in his arms. It wounded her deeply, and she became hard on me. Though she wasn’t well educated, she made sure I learned to read and write. But she punished me harshly for the smallest mistakes.

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So I grew up timid. Always hiding. Always afraid to do anything wrong and face more punishment. When I was five years old, I had fallen asleep on the couch and needed to be carried to bed. To avoid wetting the bed, I was usually sent to the bathroom first. One day, my brother’s friend, who lived with us, offered to take me. I woke up to a sharp pain. I remember he was trying to force himself into me. It was difficult for him, but he was set on it. I pretended to be asleep so he wouldn’t hurt me more. I remember I was too afraid to tell my parents. I feared they might punish me instead. So I kept silent and endured the abuse until he eventually left our home.

At school, I avoided male teachers. Once, a male teacher picked me up and placed me on his lap. I remembered the event with that boy and screamed. I ran away. I thought he wanted to hurt me. I had my first menstrual period at nine and cried because I thought someone had touched me again. I couldn’t remember clearly. At home, I hid my blood-stained clothes under the bed. I couldn’t bear the sight of blood.

I believe what happened to me affected my ability to make friends. I kept to myself. Yet I was an outstanding student. My teachers noticed and often gave me extra attention and praise. I had a calm outward demeanor, but I often found myself fighting with boys in class, especially when they showed interest in me. I suppose I was calm, but carried a passive-aggressive edge beneath the surface.

My mother’s anger was relentless. She beat me frequently and called me cruel names. She even told me she regretted giving birth to me. When I was twelve, I ran away from home. I had had enough. But my uncle found me and brought me back.

At thirteen, we moved into a new house. My parents began traveling frequently, leaving me in the care of a family friend. He also started abusing me sexually and warned me to keep silent or face deadly consequences. He even threatened to impregnate me before I entered high school. So I confided in one of my pastors and begged him not to tell my parents. But he believed it was necessary and informed them. The man was arrested. Instead of comfort, I was punished harshly and labeled a bad girl. The days that followed were unbearable. I was accused of sleeping with every man who visited the house. The pain of the false accusations fueled a bitter hatred within me. I hated men with every little thing in me.

One day, my father called and said he had noticed my academic performance was slipping because I was following boys. That wasn’t true. It was a lie. I was trying hard. I was the best student in my class. His words broke me deeply. I decided to end my life.

But the next day at school, our principal called me to her office. She told me she was proud of my efforts and that if I kept going, I would make the school proud. So during school hours, I asked a friend how she’d feel if she heard I was dead. She said she would cry her eyes out and never want to make friends again. She even spoke to one of my teachers about what I said. I thought someone wanted me here alive.

After finishing my BECE, while waiting for the results, I was enrolled in Pre-SSS classes. One day, my uncle brought fake results, claiming they were mine. It was like they were bent on making me miserable. The scores were worse than even the lowest in my school. While I was trying to explain, I received a resounding slap. I lost consciousness for a few seconds. When I came to, they continued beating and insulting me with every ounce of energy they had. My mother told me she sent me to school to learn, but instead, I was learning how to have sex with boys.

That day, when I left for class, I swore to heaven and earth that I was not returning home ever again.

Luckily, my little brother came home from school with news. I had scored eight ones. My mother came to tell me in class. But she never apologized for her cruel words or the beatings. I returned home that day because of my brother. He was so proud of me.

I gained admission to one of Ghana’s best schools and was happy to leave home. But by then, severe anxiety and clinical depression had developed. My housemistress, a counselor, tried to help. But I trusted no one. I was withdrawn and unstable. I was often in and out of the hospital, but I managed to survive secondary school.

Because of everything, I wanted to attend an all-girls university, though it wasn’t possible in Ghana. In my first semester, I joined a church on campus. It was my one place of happiness. But during a scheduled visitation one evening, a pastor tried to assault me. Even men from the church. The terror caused me to pass out. That was the last day I attended church.

I am currently neither married nor dating. I struggle to build meaningful relationships and fear intimacy. The thought of sex scares me. Being alone in a room with any man makes me panic and sweat. My father has passed on, and my mother avoids discussing marriage with me, even though all my siblings are married.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I have battled suicidal thoughts many times and continue to struggle with them. I want to get married someday, but I doubt I could be a good wife or mother. I long to heal fully, but I don’t know when or how. I have sought therapy many times, but it hasn’t been very effective. Six years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I haven’t been consistent with treatment or medication.

I don’t look unstable. People see someone who is kind and say I have a sweet spirit. I try to be patient and understanding with others because I know what silent battles feel like. But when it comes to me, I forget to be gentle. I forget to give myself the same grace.

—Doreen

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For ten months, I did everything I could for the woman I loved. That’s what you do when you love someone. You want them to be happy. If you are a hopeless romantic like me, you make them the center of your world and give them your all. I am sure if I had the power to give her the stars, I would have. That’s how strongly I loved Awura.

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She is my girlfriend, and I wanted her to succeed in life. When she received her appointment as a nurse, I was filled with pride. She was posted to a hospital far from home, but it didn’t kill my joy. I was willing to make the relationship work wherever she was.
\n

I supported her every step of the way. Apart from giving her emotional support, I was sending her money for food, helping with her bills, constantly calling to check on her, and visiting whenever I could afford it.

I didn’t want her to miss home too much. So the moment she asked for something, I made it happen.

I wasn’t a man of great means, but I always found a way to make sure she was fine. Every month, I sacrificed something for her comfort — not because I had plenty, but because my love for her was genuine.

At first, she appreciated me. She would tell me, “I am very lucky to have a man like you. You take such good care of me, Kofi.” It made me happy to hear these words. Who doesn’t want to know their efforts mattered to the person they loved?

However, as the months passed, something changed. I don’t know why but she started acting as if I wasn’t doing enough for her. She spoke to me as if my very voice was an inconvenience to her. I was worried.
\n

I asked what was going on but her tone grew cold. Her calls became rare. The sweet words faded. I could feel the distance growing between us, but I kept trying, hoping things would go back to how they used to be.

Then one evening, during a disagreement, Awura said something that broke my heart.

She said, “You’re not taking good care of me. I think I’ll just go in for a sugar daddy. Maybe someone like that will give me the life I deserve.”

For a moment, I couldn’t speak. My heart sank, and my chest grew heavy.

I thought about all the times I had gone hungry just to send her money, the days I had struggled yet still made sure she lacked nothing, and the love I had poured out so freely.

That night, I realized a painful truth — love without respect is nothing. You can give your all, but if someone doesn’t value your effort, it will never be enough.

So I sent her a message. I told her:

“Awura, I’ve done my best for you, not because I have much, but because I love you. If my best isn’t enough, maybe I’m not what you want. Go where you’ll find peace. I’ll find mine too.”

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

After hitting send, I put my phone down and took a deep breath. It hurt deeply, but I knew I had to let go. That was the end of our relationship.

As much as leaving her broke me, I have learned that sometimes the hardest goodbye is the one that restores your peace and dignity.

—Kofi

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The largest known study on elective fertility preservation has found that more women in the United States are freezing their eggs than ever before. However, only a small proportion of patients return to thaw those eggs in hopes of getting pregnant.

The number of planned elective oocyte cryopreservation, or egg freezing, cycles across the country nearly quadrupled between 2014 and 2021, from 4,153 to 16,436. Yet just 5.7 percent of those women returned to use their frozen eggs for in vitro fertilization (IVF) within the study’s follow-up period of 5-to-7 years, researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles found.

The peer-reviewed study, published online in American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in August 2025, also revealed that women are starting to freeze their eggs younger. The average age of elective oocyte retrieval patients declined from 36 years in 2014 to 34.9 years in 2021. Return rates for use were highest among patients who were older when they froze their eggs. Among people who froze their eggs between ages 38 and 42, roughly 8 percent returned to use them.

Rewire News Group spoke with the study’s lead author, Dr. Mabel Lee, a reproductive endocrinology and infertility physician at UCLA Health, to discuss what the findings mean about elective fertility preservation in the U.S. today.

This interview was conducted over email in two separate exchanges. The answers have been combined and edited for length and clarity.

What do you make of the data showing that relatively few patients return to use their eggs?

We cannot predict future fertility and who will need or choose to use their cryopreserved oocytes. Despite freezing eggs, many patients will likely try to conceive naturally first, and, unless they experience infertility or recurrent pregnancy losses, may never need to utilize their cryopreserved oocytes.

However, when patients did return to warm their oocytes, the outcomes were reassuring, and cumulative live birth rates were comparable to overall IVF outcomes.

I think the findings in our study reflect that elective egg freezing is a way of increasing the possibility of pregnancy in the future—but is by no means a guarantee of pregnancy.

What are some of the reasons behind the low rate of egg utilization that the study reports?

Our study is limited by the short follow up time. Only 13 years have passed since planned oocyte cryopreservation became non-experimental, and only 11 years since the national database SART-CORS [a national database that collates data on all assisted reproductive technology cycles] began to report cycles for fertility preservation only.

The 5-7-year follow up time … limits our analysis of oocyte warming to only egg-freeze cycles that occurred between 2014 and 2016, which may lead to an underestimation of how many people overall have returned to warm their frozen eggs since 2014. For instance, people who froze their eggs in 2018 and returned in 2021 would not be included. (Editor’s note: Other research shows that in the long-run perhaps 21 percent of all patients who freeze their eggs eventually get pregnant with assistive technology.)

Additionally, we only focused on egg freezing solely for fertility preservation purposes; we excluded patients freezing their eggs for medical or cancer indications. These patients are more likely to need to return to use their eggs due to the underlying conditions impacting their reproductive potential.

Tell me more about differences in reproductive behaviors by age or by other criteria like education, income, generation, and the like.

While our study did not look at demographic factors other than race/ethnicity and geographical regions, it is well-established in the literature that patients from a higher socioeconomic background and increased education level are not only more likely to delay childbearing, but also are more likely to access assisted reproductive technologies.

The exponential increase in patients undergoing elective egg freezing and at younger ages suggests that there is wider acceptance and utilization of these technologies in younger generations compared to older generations.

What are some of the major technological advances that have helped improve success rates of preservation and post-thawing success?

The main technological advance that has improved success rates of egg freezing has been the introduction of vitrification as a technique. (Editor’s note: Vitrification is an ultra-rapid cooling cryopreservation method using chemical solutions, or cryoprotectants.)

Prior to vitrification, freezing techniques often resulted in damage to the oocytes. … The technique has significantly improved outcomes, with survival rates of greater than 90 percent. So far, the evidence shows that human embryos and oocytes can be cryopreserved indefinitely. Just a few months ago, a baby was born after using an embryo that was cryopreserved in 1994.

Is there anything else that you want to add that I did not ask?

This is the largest U.S. study to date on elective fertility preservation and provides insight into the clear shift in reproductive behavior as more women delay childbearing to pursue education, careers, and personal goals. Within this context, egg freezing offers a powerful and effective form of reproductive autonomy and flexibility.

The post More People Are Freezing Their Eggs—But Most Will Never Use Them appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "More, People, Are, Freezing, Their, Eggs—But, Most, Will, Never, Use, Them", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/shutterstock_2154388021-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/17/new-study-ivf-egg-freezing-ucla/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-20 07:09:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99897", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Things Women Want From Men But Will Never Admit", "title_slug": "8-things-women-want-from-men-but-will-never-admit", "title_hash": "3ae419a0e178f5f8c27cab21f485da77", "summary": "I think most women would rather bite their tongue than admit how much they actually care.How much they…", "content": "I think most women would rather bite their tongue than admit how much they actually care.How much they…", "keywords": ", Things, Women, Want, From, Men, But, Will, Never, Admit", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Gemini_Generated_Image_vd9cfvvd9cfvvd9c.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-things-women-want-from-men-but-will-never-admit/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:23:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99896", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Things Men Secretly Wish Women Did When They Come Back", "title_slug": "9-things-men-secretly-wish-women-did-when-they-come-back", "title_hash": "53ca124415a6812440f268d9c144116b", "summary": "You know that feeling when someone walks through the door and the whole house just shifts a little?…", "content": "You know that feeling when someone walks through the door and the whole house just shifts a little?…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, Secretly, Wish, Women, Did, When, They, Come, Back", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/emotional-support.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-things-men-secretly-wish-women-did-when-they-come-back/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:23:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99895", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Things Women Wish Men Did That Drive Them WILD", "title_slug": "10-things-women-wish-men-did-that-drive-them-wild", "title_hash": "a29d97a141a0ed98244964b07537f303", "summary": "It’s strange, you know. How women don’t always say what they really want. It’s not that they’re hiding…", "content": "It’s strange, you know. How women don’t always say what they really want. 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Quiet.One day she’s close, soft, reaching for you, and the next she’s not.And…", "content": "It doesn’t happen overnight.It’s slow. Quiet.One day she’s close, soft, reaching for you, and the next she’s not.And…", "keywords": ", Common, Reasons, Women, Lose, Interest, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/13-COMMON-REASONS-WOMEN-LOSE-INTEREST-IN-SEX.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/13-common-reasons-women-lose-interest-in-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:23:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99893", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Common Mistakes Men Make When Trying To Impress Women", "title_slug": "9-common-mistakes-men-make-when-trying-to-impress-women", "title_hash": "9dd4c560650f9aabfafa3d741990d2ff", "summary": "It’s weird how men try so hard sometimes. Like, you plan every little thing, what you’ll say, how…", "content": "It’s weird how men try so hard sometimes. Like, you plan every little thing, what you’ll say, how…", "keywords": ", Common, Mistakes, Men, Make, When, Trying, Impress, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/9-COMMON-MISTAKES-MEN-MAKE-WHEN-TRYING-TO-IMPRESS-WOMEN-1.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-common-mistakes-men-make-when-trying-to-impress-women/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:23:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99737", "lang_id": "1", "title": "His Girlfriend Warned Me To Stay Away From “Her” Husband", "title_slug": "his-girlfriend-warned-me-to-stay-away-from-her-husband", "title_hash": "46ff62521839ed85b0069f54c9d1bb2d", "summary": "I got married to my first husband in 2001. It was a beautiful ceremony. Everyone we loved was present to wish us a happy marriage. I didn’t think of the …", "content": "

I got married to my first husband in 2001. It was a beautiful ceremony. Everyone we loved was present to wish us a happy marriage. I didn’t think of the man as my first husband, I thought of him as my partner for life.

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That marriage officially ended in 2009 because of another woman. Well, I am not blaming the woman for my husband’s choices. Life happened, and we had problems that kept resurfacing. Instead of working through things together as a couple, my husband fell into another woman’s arms. He married her immediately our divorce was finalised. I also met Jabari that very year.

Jabari and I got married a year after my divorce. We never had kids together but he raised my two children from my previous marriage. They were 5 and 7 when we all became a family. He never treated them or made them feel they were another man’s children. He raised them as his own.

He was a great father to my children, that’s why I kept forgiving his infidelity. Besides, I was not ready for another divorce. So I did all I could to hold on to him. Nothing worked. By 2017, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I sat him down and asked for a separation. “The longer I stay with you hoping for change, the deeper you hurt me. I have come to accept that this is who you are.”

He asked if I was leaving him. “I need some space to figure things out,” I explained.

I moved out of his place and rented my own place. We still saw each other regularly because of the children, we were co-parenting. It made me realise how much I missed him. I was also not ready to walk away from him entirely.

In the end, we came to an agreement. We continue to be married but live apart. “If you want to see me, you can come to my place and when I miss you, I will come over,” we agreed.

This arrangement worked until 2019, when he met another woman who had just left her husband. She moved in with him and started calling herself his wife. I wasn’t pleased when I found out but I decided to accept her as part of the marriage. As long as she knew about me and willingly moved in with him, there was nothing else I could have done.

I stopped going to his place after she came into the picture. He is the one who always visits me now. I have been staying in my corner but since 2019, this woman has been calling to insult me repeatedly.

Just last week, she found our husband about five kilometres from my house. She got angry and came to insult me. “Stay away from my husband,” she warned me.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I was surprised she was telling me to stay away from her husband. “Have you forgotten that you are the one who got involved with him knowing very well that I was in his life? I was the one who brought him to this village,” I reminded her.

I’ve been with this man for almost twenty years. I am not ready to start over again. I don’t want another divorce, I am too tired for that. I am currently 50. I am just looking for a way to handle the other woman so that she can stop disturbing my life.

—Ona, South Africa

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", "keywords": "His, Girlfriend, Warned, Stay, Away, From, “Her”, Husband", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2881.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/his-girlfriend-warned-me-to-stay-away-from-her-husband/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:18:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99736", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Apartment My Boyfriend Rented For Me Is Close To Where He Lives With His Wife", "title_slug": "the-apartment-my-boyfriend-rented-for-me-is-close-to-where-he-lives-with-his-wife", "title_hash": "7d2f2be7b31846cd5c1b7aacffcd048d", "summary": "I found out he was married when our relationship was over four months old. We were having a conversation one evening when he had a slip of the tongue and …", "content": "

I found out he was married when our relationship was over four months old. We were having a conversation one evening when he had a slip of the tongue and mentioned his wife. He said, “I think my wife will be back then.” I asked, “Your wife? You have a wife?”

Maybe he had forgotten I was the one he was talking to, but he had no choice but to come clean. He confirmed he was married with two kids. I didn’t blame him too much for hiding it. I should have asked questions, but since I didn’t see a ring on his finger and I was already into him, I assumed he was a safe bet.

Even when he showed signs that he had someone in his life, I didn’t ask questions. Why didn’t I know where he lived after dating him for that long? Why wouldn’t he answer my calls at certain hours of the night? Why was he in a hurry to go home sometimes when he was with me? All these pointed to the fact that there was a woman in his life, but I allowed his kindness and sweet kisses to blind me.

We had dated for only four months, but his kindness and love over my life had been palpable. They covered me in a peaceful shroud. When I was having issues with my landlord, he told me, “Leave everything to me. I’ll get you a new place so you can leave this landlord and his troubles behind.”

He indeed got me a very nice place and even paid a year’s rent for me. When I had to move in, he got me a truck to move my things. I was grateful. I even forgot he was a married man. He gave me more than any of the single guys I had dated.

When I started living at this new place, he came to me often without his car. He would call and say, “I’m on my way,” and a few minutes later, he would be there. I asked, “Were you around the vicinity already?” He answered, “Oh yeah, I wasn’t too far from here.”

One afternoon, he asked me to make rice balls and groundnut soup for him, and I did. When he came to eat, he came with his two kids. He said, “They are also hungry.”

I fed them first before I even looked at him. While he ate, his kids were all over me, calling me aunt and asking me to do things for them. By the time I realized it, we were out and about playing while he watched and ate. His first child is seven years old and the second is five.

It was these kids who told me they didn’t live far from where I live. We were outside when they pointed their house out to me. I was like, “Are you sure?” The first one said, “It’s true. You can ask Daddy.”

This guy has rented a place close to his house for me. According to him, he knew the guy living in the space and got it when the guy decided to move to a new place. “Why didn’t we discuss it? Why didn’t you tell me? What if your wife finds out? You want her to come here and disgrace me for all the community to know what I’ve been doing with you.”

“I know my wife. She won’t do that,” he said. “She won’t even know about it, let alone come here to fight you.”

I could risk everything but not this, and I told him. “You put me in harm’s way by doing this. I’ll either leave this place or you don’t come here again. Better still, we should stop what we are doing so we all will be safe.”

He asked me to trust him. I told him I couldn’t trust a man who didn’t tell me the truth until I found out. I asked him to show me his wife’s photo, and guess what? I had met her around twice already and had exchanged a word or two with her.

It made things worse for me, so I stopped picking up his calls. That was the first step in letting the relationship die, but this guy would come around crying, telling me I shouldn’t do that to him because I’m breaking his heart.

“When I call and you don’t pick up, you give me no option but to come here,” he told me.

So I pick up when he calls. We talk normally. He tells me he’s coming to visit, and I tell him I’m not in the house. Because of him, I’ve changed my shift at work. I work in the evenings when he’s home and go home in the morning when he’s at work. We are living parallel lives just to avoid him. He doesn’t know it’s intentional. He goes there to check when I’ve told him I wasn’t home.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

It’s been like this for the past few weeks. He paid a year’s rent. Once it’s expired, I’ll look for a place and move out. In my mind, what we have is over, and I’ll do everything to make it stay that way. He won’t know when I move out, and he won’t know my new place. I think it’s the best way to kill this danger I find myself in. I don’t know what he was thinking, maybe too much love for me so he doesn’t see the danger but I see it, and I’ll make it right.

—Jennifer

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******

", "keywords": "The, Apartment, Boyfriend, Rented, For, Close, Where, Lives, With, His, Wife", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/166233.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-apartment-my-boyfriend-rented-for-me-is-close-to-where-he-lives-with-his-wife/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:18:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99734", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mother Raised Me To Have Standards And It’s Ruining My Life", "title_slug": "my-mother-raised-me-to-have-standards-and-its-ruining-my-life", "title_hash": "09e0b3881db7d6e8c7b45dde4e86f79c", "summary": "I’m still a virgin, and it’s starting to get on my last nerve. Especially, since I clocked 25 in April. When I think about my love life or the lack …", "content": "

I’m still a virgin, and it’s starting to get on my last nerve. Especially, since I clocked 25 in April. When I think about my love life or the lack of it, I feel stressed. I ask myself, “How did this happen?” Then I remember that it is my mother’s fault.

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She raised me this way. She was very strict, and disciplined me to be very protective of the values she instilled in me. I only tasted freedom when I started living on my own.

With my newfound independence, things got really strange for me. I made a crazy gang of friends who were everything my mother taught me to stay away from. They would smoke, drink, take lean, and do almost every kind of drug you can think of. There were times they were high enough to have group sex right in my presence. Weird, right?

I held on to my values but at some point, I got influenced. I started sipping small amounts of alcohol and going clubbing with them. I lived wild and large, in a way that would make my mother ashamed of me. The only thing I couldn’t bring myself to do was sleep with someone.

I had so much pride, Jesus Christ! No boy in our group was ever allowed to touch me. That was a red line, and they knew not to cross it because I made it clear from the start. Sometimes, I was even hard on my female friends. I would say things like, “Who raised you people? Why are you doing this? Who will marry you?” — bla bla bla.

Funny enough, most of those friends are happily married now, and here I am writing this.

One day, I had a huge crush on a guy, and a friend helped connect us. It could have been something beautiful, but he was in such a rush to get intimate with me. That killed my interest in him.

It isn’t that I am saving myself for marriage. I just want to take myself to get to know someone first and build a connection with them before it gets to that part. Unfortunately, the men I meet are not patient.

I don’t know if it’s happening everywhere else or it’s just here in South Sudan, but people here have normalised sleeping with strangers on the first date. That’s a total no-no for me. As much as I want a relationship that will lead to marriage, there’s no way I’m going to sleep with someone I barely know just to achieve that goal.

I remember a time when I decided to come clean and told a guy that I had never done it before. I honestly thought he would be the one. I told him I needed time to get to know him better. He got excited and pretended to love me for about a month, but the red flags were everywhere. Eventually, I was like, “Heyyy, we’re done.” I had to let him go.

I’m kinda beautiful and well-raised. Please don’t tell me you’re going to hit on the first, second, or even third date. I just want to get to know you first, feel comfortable, and build a connection before we even think about going down that road. That’s all I ask for. I don’t think it’s too much — but hey, I keep losing connections every day because I won’t put out.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

\nI really don’t know what my future holds, but I’m scared and stressed. I want to fall in love and get married. It’s just worrying that no man wants to take me seriously if I won’t let them have my body.

Sometimes I tell myself, maybe life would be easier if I just gave them what they wanted. But I can’t. My upbringing has a strong hold on me when it comes to my sexuality. So now I’m the one here asking myself, “Who raised you? Why are you not having a good time like everyone else? Who will marry you?”

—Tabitha

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", "keywords": ", Mother, Raised, Have, Standards, And, It’s, Ruining, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2890.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-mother-raised-me-to-have-standards-and-its-ruining-my-life/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-17 07:18:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99735", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Ex’s Friend Confessed He Was Supposed to Drug and Assault Me", "title_slug": "my-exs-friend-confessed-he-was-supposed-to-drug-and-assault-me", "title_hash": "ead79b786a808c3ba81923420aaf449c", "summary": "I met Prince in my final year at university. We sat next to each other on a VIP bus from Accra to Kumasi. He was charming, confident, and seemed like …", "content": "

I met Prince in my final year at university. We sat next to each other on a VIP bus from Accra to Kumasi. He was charming, confident, and seemed like someone who knew what he wanted. We exchanged numbers, and two weeks later, we started talking. I liked him. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes.

But it didn’t take long for the mask to slip. Prince was controlling. He checked my phone all the time. He always wanted to know where I was, who I was with, and whether they were male or female. I felt like I was being watched. I couldn’t breathe.

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One Thursday night, I was at his place when my boss called around 9:30 p.m. He apologised for calling late and asked me to prepare slides for a presentation the next day. He sent the document on WhatsApp and was explaining how he wanted it done. Prince walked in from the bathroom, grabbed my phone, and said, “Who are you, and why are you talking to my girlfriend at this time?” I kept telling him it was my boss, but he didn’t care. He ended the call and said my boss was being unprofessional. I tried to explain, but he wasn’t listening. So I got dressed and left.

On my way home, I called my boss back to apologise and finish the task. After giving me the instructions, he asked, “Are you sure about this guy?” But I had already made up my mind. I wasn’t going to stay in a relationship with someone who didn’t respect me. I’m not the type to say, “I love him, so I’ll stay.” I don’t tolerate emotional immaturity. And yes, Prince was verbally abusive too. He threw tantrums when things didn’t go his way. I wasn’t dating a man. I was babysitting one.

The next day, I called him and asked to meet. He thought I was coming to apologize. I was already at the restaurant when he arrived. We ate. I acted normal. After the meal, I told him I couldn’t continue the relationship. I said I didn’t like insecure, controlling men. He started shouting. “Instead of apologising for flirting with your boss, you’re breaking up with me?” I said, “You owe me and my boss an apology.” He didn’t take it well. He called me cheap and a whore and said all kinds of nasty things. I just laughed, paid the bill, and left him there talking to himself.

Six months later, I met Kwaku. He kept asking me out, and I kept saying no. One day, he insisted we go on just one date, so I agreed. After the date, I started opening up a little. He invited me to his house, but I asked if we could sit in his summer hut instead. He brought drinks in wine glasses, and I told him straight that I wasn’t going to drink them. I had my own Don Simon in my bag, so I took it out and drank that.

We talked for a while. He asked about my past relationship, and I told him how it ended. He shared a bit about his own too. I left not long after, and soon I noticed he started acting distant. I didn’t like him that much anyway, so I stopped trying.

A month later, he messaged me on WhatsApp and said he had a confession. I asked, “Confession?” Then he dropped the bomb.

He said he was Prince’s friend. Prince had asked him to get close to me, gain my trust, and make sure I would not refuse an invite to his house. Then, as tradition would suggest, he was supposed to offer me a drink. But that drink was meant to be drugged.

The plan was to rape me and record it. My ex and a guy I met a few months ago turned out to be friends

He said Prince told him I owed him money and refused to pay, so he wanted to use the video to blackmail me. But the truth is, Prince just couldn’t handle the fact that I broke up with him. He was used to being the one who ended things. His ego was bruised because I was the first woman to walk away.

After the first attempt failed, Prince told him to try again. That was when Kwaku came to his senses. He told me everything and apologised.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Then he said he wanted us to move past it and start a real relationship. With me. The same woman he had planned to drug and assault because his friend claimed I owed him money. I didn’t owe Prince anything. And even if I did, that was never the way to handle it.

I refused. Why would I ever be with someone who had the courage to plan something so cruel just because another man told him to?

I said no. Straight up. Why would I date someone who was willing to hurt me just because his friend told him to? That’s not love. That’s weakness. I accepted his apology, yes.

But let me be clear. If they had succeeded, I wouldn’t have stayed silent. I wouldn’t have disappeared or pretended it didn’t happen. I would have fought back with everything in me. I would have taken them to court, dragged their names through the mud, and made sure they never forgot the woman they tried to destroy.

Some men think they can control women. That they can punish us or shame us when things don’t go their way. But I’m not one of those women who folds.

—Ama

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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"7-things-you-should-never-say-during-intimacy", "title_hash": "26f966c7b473ca0369fb8bb7bd12f637", "summary": "It’s quiet, You can almost hear the thoughts in the room.It’s strange how something that’s supposed to feel…", "content": "It’s quiet, You can almost hear the thoughts in the room.It’s strange how something that’s supposed to feel…", "keywords": ", Things, You, Should, Never, Say, During, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/7-THINGS-YOU-SHOULD-NEVER-SAY-DURING-SEX.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-things-you-should-never-say-during-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:46:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99157", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Things Men Do When You Refuse To Sleep With Them", "title_slug": "7-things-men-do-when-you-refuse-to-sleep-with-them", "title_hash": "8b6b2c6f76727ef37fd648fd3717937c", "summary": "It’s strange how fast the air changes after you say no.Like the space between you starts speaking a…", "content": "It’s strange how fast the air changes after you say no.Like the space between you starts speaking a…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, When, You, Refuse, Sleep, With, Them", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/7-THINGS-MEN-DO-WHEN-YOU-REFUSE-TO-SLEEP-WITH-THEM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-things-men-do-when-you-refuse-to-sleep-with-them/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:46:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99156", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Things Women Wish Men Did During Intimacy", "title_slug": "things-women-wish-men-did-during-intimacy", "title_hash": "bdd795dd2d6754059c95bfaba182ad0a", "summary": "Sometimes it’s not about what happens, it’s about how it feels.You can tell when someone’s there, but not…", "content": "Sometimes it’s not about what happens, it’s about how it feels.You can tell when someone’s there, but not…", "keywords": "Things, Women, Wish, Men, Did, During, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/DURING-INTIMNACY.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/things-women-wish-men-did-during-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:46:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99155", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Lose Weight Without Dieting", "title_slug": "how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting", "title_hash": "0ad0b694983c73fe2de70055eeb8fad6", "summary": "Want to Drop Some Pounds Without Becoming Overly Calorie-Conscious? Read This", "content": "If you want to lose weight, going on a strict diet can backfire. “The research — and my 25 years in the business of helping clients lose weight — proves that strict, restrictive dieting rarely results in sustained weight loss. In fact, the opposite is true,” says registered licensed dietitian and nutritionist Kimberly Gomer. \r\nThis is why most health and fitness professionals emphasize the importance of changing your lifestyle. Gradually adopting new, healthier habits until they become engrained is a much more sustainable approach than dieting — it’s also more likely to lead to lasting change and results. Wondering where to start? Here are eight expert-approved tips to lose weight without dieting.\r\nRELATED: How to Lose Weight With a Calorie Deficit\r\n\r\n8 Actionable Tips to Lose Fat Without Dieting\r\n\r\nEat Less Restaurant Food\r\nGomer suggests eating less restaurant food: “Restaurants want to make money so they provide food that is highly processed — loaded with fats, sugar, and processed grains. They give you big portions and highly addictive food choices — fried and sauced.” \r\nWhen you cook at home, you control what goes into your food. That said, if your lifestyle requires you to order takeout or dine out on a regular basis, you can still focus on making smarter choices. For example, you can share appetizers instead of having an oversized main meal, or order a chicken salad or fish dish instead of a burger. Little swaps can make a big difference in the long run.\r\nFocus On Whole Foods\r\nFocusing on whole foods over highly-processed options is always a good idea. “Eat closer to what mother nature has provided. Read labels to see if a bunch of chemicals, additives, and sugar have been added,” adds Gomer. Stick to produce, lean proteins and whole grains instead of packaged snacks. \r\nMove Around More Often\r\nGetting your steps in daily helps as well. “Walking is such an easy, barrier-free way to exercise. It doesn't require special workout gear or a long warm up, it's free and you can do it on your own or as a social activity. For the average man, 10,000 steps will burn around 500 calories. If you keep everything else the same, burning an extra 500 calories means you can lose as much as a pound of fat per week,” says certified personal trainer and weight loss coach Joe Johnson. \r\nAlex Oskian, MS, RDN, nutrition coach at Working Against Gravity, recommends aiming to increase your daily NEAT, which stands for “Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis” — all activity outside of formal exercise. Standing while working, biking to work, doing household chores, taking the stairs or playing with your kids are all good examples of NEAT. “All of that movement adds up during the day, which will help with total calorie expenditure and aid in the fight against weight gain,” says Oskian.\r\nIncrease Workout Intensity\r\nAre you already pretty active? You may want to increase the intensity of your workouts, says Johnson: “If you're already working out a few times a week in the gym to get stronger and gain muscle, that's great, but there are a couple of quick hacks you can use to increase the calorie-burning effects of your workouts.” \r\n“First, you can superset opposing muscles. For example, you could follow a dumbbell bench press with a lat pulldown. You could also simply reduce rest periods between sets, which will keep your heart rate higher for the duration of your workout and help you burn more calories.”\r\nHave More Protein\r\nIncreasing your protein intake can also help you lose weight without going on a diet. “As men age, they require more protein to build or maintain muscle,” says Oskian. “A good rule of thumb is to include a protein food (animal or plant-based source of protein) at every meal and snack.” This habit will also help you feel full and satisfied and may lead you to eat less in general. \r\nKnow Your Why\r\nWhat are your reasons for losing weight? According to Gomer, knowing your deeper “why” can be a powerful motivator on your weight loss journey while informing your choices. \r\nWhether you’re hoping to drop a few pounds to feel more energetic or because your doctor warned you about your blood pressure, understanding your deeper reasons for making changes will help you focus on the right priorities. It will also make it easier to stick to your new habits.\r\nMake Sure You Get Enough Sleep\r\nDo you binge-watch your favorite Netflix show late at night on weekdays? Getting less than seven hours of sleep is not ideal — and it can hinder your weight loss efforts. On the other hand, sleeping enough can help you lose more weight. As Oskian puts it, make sure that all your hard work eating healthier and going to the gym isn’t going to waste through a lack of sleep. \r\nStay Hydrated\r\nStaying hydrated is also key. Oskian recommends grabbing water instead of other beverages such as coffee, alcohol or juice. Not only will this reduce your total calorie and sugar intake, but drinking more water also helps keep hunger at bay between meals. Water also carries nutrients and oxygens to your cells and helps flush out waste. It’s such a simple yet important piece of the healthy living puzzle. \r\nFollow the tips above and you should start feeling better and dropping a few pounds — no diet required. Remember that the most impressive transformations don’t happen overnight. They are the result of consistent, sometimes imperfect baby steps. Plus, you’ll be building a foundation for the rest of your life by focusing on adopting healthier habits that you can sustain forever.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow Often Should You Work Out?Best Way to Lose FatHow to Get Abs Without a Gym Membership", "keywords": "How, Lose, Weight, Without, Dieting", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/weight-loss/how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1760541449.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/weight-loss/how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:46:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99154", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Getting a Sexually Transmitted Infection From Cheating", "title_slug": "getting-a-sexually-transmitted-infection-from-cheating", "title_hash": "4b2bf7c13d02858bd36868181e7d9377", "summary": "Doc Chavesz is here to answer the questions you can't ask anyone else.", "content": "The Question:\r\nDoc Chaves,I cheated on my girlfriend and now I have an STD. What do I do?\r\nThe Answer:\r\nIn this day and age of failed relationships, infidelity and divorce, cheating seems to be more prevalent than ever. What’s worse is you contracted a sexually transmitted infection (STI). \r\nFirst and foremost, do two things. Seek out medical attention, get tested, and find out which STI you have. You may have a curable bacterial infection or a life-long viral infection, depending on your results. \r\nRELATED: What to Do If You Have an STI\r\nEither way, you can find a method to cure or treat whatever you have. Also, your partner and the person you cheated with should be tested and treated too. Second, don’t be sexual with your partner and expose her to whatever you have. If you have been sexual with her already, she needs to be informed and encouraged to get tested/treated.\r\n RELATED: Why & How to Get an STI Test, Explained\r\nEither way, if you plan to continue being in a relationship together, you need to tell her. It's not just a dick move to sleep with someone knowing you have an STI, it's also a violation of their consent. It may be scary and difficult, but her health is affected by this. \r\nWhatever your reasons for cheating, I encourage you to tell her you cheated — and about the STI. You can’t pick and choose where you want to be honest and where you would rather avoid honesty. That would be yet another form of deception. \r\nShe’ll likely have a strong reaction. It could be anger, sadness, some form of emotionality expressed, and remember — it may not be problem-solving time. It’s the time for listening, and allowing for feelings to be expressed. You’re not going to fix things in that moment, but you can help create a space to vent, communicate, and express. It’s best to take ownership and responsibility, be sincere in your apologetic nature, don’t blame her or the relationship for you stepping out, and face the music. Time to put that maturity to the test and act like an adult. \r\nThis is what being a respectable human being is really about; being responsible for yourself, your words/actions, and respecting people regardless of their gender. She likely will need time to think and process your news, and she may or may not break up with you. Finally, stop cheating. If you’re unhappy, get into couples therapy or leave the relationship. If you’re feeling tied down by monogamy, ask to open up your relationship or find someone who also wants multiple partners and an open relationship. Figure out what’s going on with you that led to the cheating and address it. \r\nLastly, if you find yourself single or in a non-monogamous relationship, make safe sex and frequent testing for both you and your new partners a priority.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Tell Your Partner You Have an STISTIs That Show on Your Face, RevealedCan Cheating Be Healthy in a Relationship?", "keywords": "Getting, Sexually, Transmitted, Infection, From, Cheating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer/dealing-with-an-std/askmen-lead-image-2x1-50-1760560362.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer/dealing-with-an-std.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:46:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99007", "lang_id": "1", "title": "We Broke Up a Year Ago, But Somehow I Might Be Her Baby Daddy", "title_slug": "we-broke-up-a-year-ago-but-somehow-i-might-be-her-baby-daddy", "title_hash": "494d6838539e3e48499cf8bf5fcbf735", "summary": "I used to date this amazing woman, but we broke up about a year ago. The reasons for our breakup are a long story. Even after we ended things, we …", "content": "

I used to date this amazing woman, but we broke up about a year ago. The reasons for our breakup are a long story. Even after we ended things, we stayed in touch as friends. Most people still thought we were together, but only the two of us knew we had parted ways.

In April this year, I got a new job and had to relocate. Before leaving, I knew she was having problems at home. She lived with her mom, who felt she was too old to still be living there. She’s 30. Since my place was going to be empty, I asked her to move in and take care of it while I was away. We kept in touch while I worked in another town.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

In September 2025, I returned for a programme and to sort
\nout some issues with my landlord. I stayed at my place for a week, and she was still living there. During that week, we ended up being intimate.

Three weeks later, she told me she missed her period. I joked about her being pregnant and teased her about having a baby girl. I didn’t feel bad about it. Before we broke up, I had asked her to have a child with me, but she always refused. So the news felt like something I had once wanted. But she said she wouldn’t keep the child if she was really pregnant.

Later, we had a quarrel over her attitude, and I stopped checking on her. I also wasn’t feeling well and went to stay at my mom’s place for treatment. Before the fight, she had complained of abdominal pain, which she usually gets when menstruating. She even bled for a day but said it stopped suddenly.

We didn’t talk for three days. Then my neighbour called and told me she had travelled to Kasoa without telling me. When I called her, she said she was at her mother’s house. I asked to see her so we could talk about the pregnancy, but she was angry and refused. I called her younger brother to check, and he told me she hadn’t been home for three days.

I called her again and told her I knew she wasn’t at her mom’s. She finally admitted she had travelled but refused to say where. I suspected she was in Kasoa visiting one of her exes. All her exes live there, and she knows I’m aware of that.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I asked her to return the next day, but she said she wouldn’t come until Sunday. She finally came back on Sunday. On Monday, I went to the house with a pregnancy test kit to confirm if she was really pregnant. She refused to take the test, saying she was tired of doing tests. But she had only done one before, and it came out invalid.

Then she started cursing me, saying I had rejected the pregnancy and that she would abort it. She told me never to look for her again.

Now I’m asking: Should I accept this pregnancy without confirming if she is actually pregnant or if the pregnancy is mine?

—Arnold

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Broke, Year, Ago, But, Somehow, Might, Her, Baby, Daddy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/94812.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/we-broke-up-a-year-ago-but-somehow-i-might-be-her-baby-daddy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:32:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "99008", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mother Left Just Before The Harvest", "title_slug": "my-mother-left-just-before-the-harvest", "title_hash": "e823af9805bbca6cd23a9c45eec1c09f", "summary": "My mother passed away on the 24th of September, 2025. She was just 44 years old. I am her firstborn, the eldest of five boys. Losing her has left a …", "content": "

My mother passed away on the 24th of September, 2025. She was just 44 years old. I am her firstborn, the eldest of five boys. Losing her has left a hole I can’t quite describe. There is a silence that follows me everywhere I go.

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My mother was a woman of strength, resilience, and faith. My father was in the picture but she did most of the work when it came to us. My dad did his best but he was a driver who was often away travelling long distances, from Accra to Kumasi and beyond. My mother was the constant presence in our lives, the anchor in our home.

As the firstborn, I spent most of my time with her. In a way, she raised me on two fronts: first as her child, then as her companion in life. When I was little, I couldn’t walk until I was three years old. My mother endured mockery and sleepless nights because of it. People laughed at her. They said she had given birth to a cripple.

She tried everything — traditional remedies, prayers, even dug holes and buried my legs in the earth so I could stand. According to her story, she took me to a popular church in Ghana. The leader prayed for me and I walked that very day.

That miracle changed her life forever. She joined the church and rose through the years to become a deaconess. A title she carried with grace and humility until her death.

Growing up, my mother taught me everything I needed to survive in life. She made sure I could cook, clean, wash, and manage a home. People often pointed to us as examples, “Look at how Eno is raising her boys.” She made us capable and responsible.

When I was in class six, I developed a serious problem with my leg. There was a painful swelling near my knee that required surgery. My mother stayed by my side every single day. She slept on the cold hospital floor. Sometimes without food. She told me, “I won’t rest until you can walk again.”

Eventually, I recovered. Needless to say that that memory has stayed with me all my life. When I close my eyes I can still see her lying on the cold floor while I was in the hospital bed. I see her kneeling by my bed, praying and weeping quietly. She taught me love in its truest form.

Through every hardship, my schooling, my mistakes, and even when I brought shame to her name after SHS by impregnating someone, she never turned her back on me.

When I got into nursing training school in 2018, it was my parents’ combined effort that made it possible. But truly, my mother was the one who held everything together. She sold eggs by the roadside, sometimes under the hot sun, just to make sure we could go to school.

After training school, I spent four years at home waiting to be posted. It was a difficult period. I was broke, and frustrated. Yet my mother never made me feel like a failure. She encouraged me. “Kwesi, good things take time,” she would say.

In 2022, my father passed away, and from that day, my mother became both mother and father to me and my younger siblings.

Earlier this year, in January 2025, my posting finally came. I was so happy — not just for myself, but because I wanted to make her proud. She gave me money to rent a place, to buy a mattress, and to start life. Even when salaries were delayed and I had nothing, she still sent me money for food. She kept providing until the end.

That’s why her death hurts in a very specific way. I’m not just mourning her absence, not particularly. I’m mourning that she didn’t get to enjoy the fruit of her labour. She never got to “eat” my money. She worked all her life for us, and just when it was time for me to help ease her burden, she left.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Sometimes I sit alone and think, have I failed my mother? People see me strong on the outside, but inside I’m broken. Her face, her voice, her laughter — all of it keeps replaying in my mind.

I know that I would have to take care of my younger siblings who are still in school, but it’s not the same. My mother should have lived longer for me to take care of her. This is the part about her death that hurts me more than her death itself.

—Kwesi

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I am looking for someone who can hack my husband’s phone as soon as possible. I can feel strongly that he is committing adultery but I don’t have concrete evidence. The security on his phone is tight. When I confront him he denies it. I just want to find proof so I can make my next move.

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He insists he is not cheating but he hardly talks to me anymore, except when it’s about the kids. No, he is not going through anything. Our home is peaceful. I see him laughing and chatting comfortably with others.

Last Monday, when the taxi arrived to take me and the kids to work and school, there was a lady sitting in the front seat. He didn’t even say goodbye to me, though I’m used to that now because we’ve grown so distant. But what shocked me was how he patted the lady’s cheek affectionately and told her they’d meet later.

He goes out without telling me and comes home at any time, sometimes after midnight. I once forgave him for cheating because he apologised and seemed remorseful, but clearly, he hasn’t changed.

He hides his calls, gets nervous when I walk in on him, and one night, while I was breastfeeding, I overheard him on the phone saying in Twi, “Come, let me chop you.” When I walked in, he stopped talking but continued as soon as I left.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Later, I found used condoms in his bag, but he always comes up with ridiculous explanations when I confront him.

He’s extremely charming when we are together in public but treats me like I don’t exist at home. I’m planning to leave, but I need solid evidence because everyone I’ve spoken to keeps telling me they don’t think he’s cheating. They are saying, maybe, just maybe, he may be going through something.

—Akua

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My husband left home and forgot to take his phone. While the phone was in my hand, a video call came in. I tapped on the “Accept” icon, and it was a woman who looked like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Judging from our history, I concluded she must have been one of his side chicks. The moment she saw my face, she quickly ended the call. That single act made me feel I was right.

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I tried calling her back, but she refused to answer. So, I sent her a message. She replied. I asked her why she was calling someone’s husband. “Di you know he is married?” She said yes. She told me she was also married and that they were just friends.

It took everything for me not to scream the words, “I know you’re lying. I am holding my husband’s phone. I can see your entire chat. I know you’re not married.”

That was when she started telling me a lot of things about my husband. Things that were not revealed in their chat. Things that were personal and intimate. “I already know about your relationship but I am not here to attack you. I just want to say I leave you to God,” I warned her.

I was going about my business today when she called again today. My husband hasn’t returned from his trip so I’m still in possession of his phone. This time around she didn’t hung up at the sound of my voice. Rather, she started begging me to forgive her.

She claimed my husband was the one who was always chasing her, and when she found out he was married, she began ignoring him.

I know she is lying. I have seen all their chats. Her birthday is coming soon. In their messages, she asked him to buy her a particular gift. Then she warned him that if he didn’t buy it, she’d show him her bad side, whatever that means.

By the time our call ended today, she pleaded for forgiveness and promised to block him. My question is: should I delete the messages between her and me from his phone, or should I leave them for him to see when he comes back?

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

\nFor context, my husband lacks nothing from me. He’s the kind of man who doesn’t know how to do anything by himself, not even how to make his own meals. When it comes to the kids, he is completely clueless. I do everything for him.

On top of that he is always broke. Most of the time I take care of the home with my money. He doesn’t know how I keep our home running but he is out there womanizing. The interesting part is that no matter how careful he is, anytime he gets a new side chick, somehow, I always find out.

—Ajarl

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When I first saw him, I whispered to myself, “Some women really do have strange taste,” and moved on with my day.

I wasn’t expecting anything. It was just a formal introduction at work. But for some reason, my mind kept racing to him. I found myself wondering what his wife saw in him. He wasn’t conventionally attractive. Lanky and tall, with old-school features and mannerisms. Not the kind of man you’d expect someone to risk it all for. I ended the unnecessary mental quiz right there.

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Later, I learnt his name was Kwame. He was a key member of our team, and his contributions in meetings began to shift my perception. He was sharp, thoughtful, and quietly confident. We worked closely together and built a solid professional relationship. Over time, we became hugging buddies. The stress of our work led us to offer each other comforting hugs when things got overwhelming. Eventually, hugs became a regular part of our interactions. It wasn’t just about fatigue anymore.

It was innocent at first. I had no intentions. He wasn’t my type physically. And yes, I’m also married.

One evening, after a late close at work, we found ourselves alone in the elevator. He leaned in for a hug and then, unexpectedly, kissed me. I was caught off guard. It was brief, but he apologised immediately. We went our separate ways.

I’ve always said I would never date a married man. Not even when I was single. But life happened. “Can never be me” slowly became my reality.

Kwame and I have been entangled for six years. What changed? The connection. The chemistry. The emotional depth. And yes, the physical intimacy. It was unlike anything I had known. We found ourselves drawn to each other in ways that defied logic. It wasn’t about money. We both earn well. It was about something deeper. Something we couldn’t name but couldn’t resist.

Our respective marriages will be ten and fifteen years old this December. And yet, our feelings for each other keep growing. We’ve tried everything to end it. We even stayed apart for over a year—from February 2024 to May 2025. We worked professionally, kept our distance, and avoided physical contact. But it all crumbled during a work trip outside Ghana. He spent the night in my room, and it felt like we were making up for lost time. And just like that, we were back to square one.

Recently, he said something that jolted me. “AK, do you realise I’ve been with you more in the past three years than I’ve been with my wife of fourteen?” As blunt as it was, it struck a chord. Because I could say the same about my husband. He’s emotionally distant. Intimacy feels like a chore rather. There are no hugs, no affection, no connection.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Kwame, for all his flaws, filled a gap I didn’t even know I had.

But where do we go from here? This path isn’t sustainable. I know I need to walk away. But it’s complicated. We work together. I can’t block his number or avoid him completely. Resigning isn’t an option. Being around him every day makes detachment feel almost impossible.

So I’m reaching out. I need help. Real, practical advice on how to end this quietly but firmly. How do I reclaim my emotions and my space when the temptation is always right in front of me? I want to be free from this cycle, but I don’t know where to begin.

I need a detox plan. A “bedianko” kind of reset.

—AK

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Anti-mafia laws, long used to dismantle criminal empires, may become the next tool to restrict abortion.

A January report from Americans United for Life (AUL), a leading anti-abortion group, called on prosecutors to use the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) against abortion clinics and funds.

The group argues that mailing abortion pills violates the Comstock Act, a 19th-century law that bans sending certain materials through the mail. Section 1461 of the law deems “obscene” or “crime-inciting” materials to be “nonmailable.”

Some states that ban abortion, including Texas, also make it illegal to “aid or abet” an abortion. That could mean helping someone obtain, travel to, or pay for care. Prosecutors could, theoretically, argue that doing these things repeatedly—even across state lines—adds up to a “pattern” of illegal activity.

That’s where RICO, a law usually used to go after organized crime, could come into the picture.

AUL’s legal strategy essentially links the Comstock Act to RICO: Comstock could provide a basis for banning abortion pills by mail, while RICO could be used to pursue wider charges against anyone accused of running what prosecutors consider a repeated, coordinated, and illegal operation to provide patients with abortion pills.

This combined approach could sweep up everyone involved in medication abortion care, including the doctors who prescribe the pills, the patients who take them, and the abortion funds that help people pay for the treatment, lawyers said in interviews with Rewire News Group. Even major pharmacy chains, like CVS and Walgreens, that dispense abortion pills could be found in breach of Comstock, then slapped with a RICO charge.

‘Just bleed them dry’

Experts warn that using RICO laws against abortion funds has yet to be tested in court, and any attempt would likely face significant legal challenges. But RICO has already been used to threaten abortion access on a small scale.

In 2023, the small New Mexico city of Eunice sued New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham and Attorney General Raúl Torrez over a state law prohibiting municipalities from interfering in their residents’ right to reproductive care. Eunice’s suit argued its rule limiting abortion clinics’ activity was valid, because it would force clinics to comply with the federal Comstock Act, which the city claimed overrode state law.

The suit also cited RICO as another tool to target providers. Eunice argued that repeated actions to assist abortions—such as financing, transporting, or providing medication—could be treated as a “pattern of illegal activity” under the law.

New Mexico’s Supreme Court unanimously invalidated city-level anti-abortion ordinances in January 2025. But if another court, down the line, accepts an argument like Eunice’s, it might allow prosecutors to bring RICO charges against abortion providers.

After the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, many states quickly imposed strict or total abortion bans. Alabama Attorney General Steve Marshall went a step further, warning that anyone who helped residents seek abortion care out of state could face felony charges. In 2022, Marshall said volunteers assisting with abortion travel could be prosecuted under Alabama’s accessory and conspiracy laws.

“There’s no doubt this is a criminal law and general principles would apply,” Marshall said during a radio interview. “If someone was promoting themselves out as a funder of abortions out of state, that is potentially criminally actionable for us. If there are groups promoting this as part of their services, we will be taking a look at that.”

Though Alabama cannot currently criminalize lawful activity in other states, Marshall’s threat forced the Yellowhammer Fund—an abortion fund serving people in Alabama, Florida, and Mississippi—to pause operations for nearly three years.

But Yellowhammer didn’t back down without a fight. In July 2023, the organization sued Marshall in federal court—and won in March 2025. A federal district court ruled that Alabama cannot criminally charge people for helping residents access legal abortion in other states. The decision was a major victory for both the Yellowhammer Fund and the health-care workers and volunteers who feared prosecution for helping people obtain an abortion.

Yellowhammer reopened immediately after winning the lawsuit.

“Freedom of speech, specifically our use of money and mutual aid to engage in protected speech, and our right to travel, is what was used to decide our lawsuit in our favor,” Kelsea McLain, Yellowhammer Fund’s health-care access director, said.

The case underscores the real dangers of these legal strategies: Even if anti-abortion tactics ultimately lose in court, some patients will lose reproductive care in the meantime.

Abortion funds, especially in the South, are sometimes the only lifeline for people who can’t afford to travel hundreds of miles to the nearest clinic, take unpaid time off work, or arrange child care. For low-income people, people of color, undocumented people, and those living in rural areas, losing that support can make the difference between accessing care and carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term.

AUL’s report mapped out a flexible legal strategy that could be used to target anyone connected to abortion care. The approach is designed not only to punish providers, but also to intimidate those who support them.

For example, if money for abortion-related services was transferred electronically, prosecutors could try to stack on wire fraud charges in a RICO-Comstock case. If abortion pills were sent via mail, mail fraud charges could come into play.

With a sympathetic judge, these cases could advance to the discovery phase and lead to a long, costly legal battle, said Jamie E. Wright, a top Los Angeles trial attorney.

“This strategy effectively ties up the abortion fund in pretrial hell,” Wright said. “No ruling needed. Just bleed them dry.”

Wright does not try RICO cases. But she discerns a familiar strategy in AUL’s legal recommendations.

“It’s not just about winning the case. It’s about punishing the infrastructure of abortion access,” she said.

High penalty in RICO cases

RICO’s power lies in its reach, explained Jennifer Ecklund, an attorney who specializes in health-care disputes and civil RICO cases. It doesn’t merely target individual crimes—it also punishes the act of participating in a broader, ongoing criminal enterprise.

A person can face RICO charges if they help direct, organize, finance, or otherwise contribute to a group’s illegal activities—even if they didn’t personally carry out every offense, Ecklund said. Such offenses could include fraud, bribery, or drug trafficking.

“RICO is used to essentially triple damages in any circumstance where a case can be made for an organized conspiracy to violate the enumerated laws, which for most abortion funds and mutual aid orgs, could be an existential threat,” Ecklund said.

“Triple damages” refers to the provision allowing courts to order organizations found liable in civil RICO cases to pay three times the amount of actual damages.

For example, if an abortion fund is found liable for $100,000 in a civil RICO case, the court could force it to pay $300,000, plus the plaintiff’s legal costs. This can put even more financial strain on a small, nonprofit abortion fund and drain it of its resources.

But, Ecklund said, courts tend to be cautious about civil RICO claims brought by private parties. Successful cases without a parallel criminal prosecution are rare. Still, typically, anti-abortion groups strategically file cases in jurisdictions seen as more sympathetic to their arguments.

That kind of financial threat creates a massive chilling effect on anyone who might otherwise provide or support abortion-related services.

Use of RICO balloons

Although RICO was designed to combat organized crime syndicates, attorneys note its scope has stretched over time. Courts have applied state and federal RICO statutes not just to mob activity, but to crimes ranging from Wall Street fraud to celebrities’ alleged misconduct.

A recent use of RICO beyond its initial scope is rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs’ high-profile trial over alleged sex trafficking. In September 2024, prosecutors charged Combs with sex trafficking, transportation with intent to engage in prostitution, and racketeering conspiracy, alleging his business empire enabled these illegal activities. He was ultimately acquitted of the racketeering conspiracy and sex trafficking charges, and found guilty of the prostitution-related crimes.

RICO is powerful because it makes an “entire organization responsible for facilitating multiple illegal acts alleged in the indictment,” Ross Goodman, a Las Vegas criminal defense attorney with experience handling RICO cases, said.

RICO convictions also carry harsher punishments.

“A successful RICO conviction allows for the dismantling of a business empire through asset forfeiture and provides for a lengthier prison sentence,” Goodman said.

He added that anti-abortion activists might, in theory, try arguing that abortion funds are part of an “enterprise” engaged in conduct that violates federal or state law.

For example, Goodman said, states with abortion restrictions or bans could claim abortion funds are “aiding and abetting illegal abortions by providing financial and logistical support.”

However, helping someone access a legal abortion, even in another state, is not automatically considered a “predicate act”—that is, an action RICO law recognizes as a crime that could be used to build a civil or criminal case.

Goodman said anti-abortion plaintiffs would need to stretch existing laws to meet that bar. Doing so would require aggressive legal theories—and those, in turn, would face major constitutional barriers.

The future of abortion access

On the flipside, abortion rights advocates have themselves used civil RICO claims to defend against legal attacks.

In January 2016, Planned Parenthood filed a federal lawsuit in San Francisco against anti-abortion activist David Daleiden, the Center for Medical Progress (CMP), and several of Daleiden’s associates. The nonprofit alleged the defendants had carried out a deceptive undercover campaign, including posing as representatives of a fake biomedical company, using false identities, and secretly recording private meetings, in an effort to falsely suggest Planned Parenthood was profiting from selling fetal tissue.

Planned Parenthood argued that Daleiden, CMP, and their associates operated as a coordinated enterprise, committing multiple illegal acts—such as fraud, trespass, breach of contract, and unauthorized recordings—in violation of RICO to harm the organization’s reputation and restrict access to reproductive health services.

In 2019, a jury sided with Planned Parenthood, finding the defendants violated RICO. The nonprofit was awarded more than $2 million in damages.

Here, that decision came down on the side of abortion providers. But in a different courtroom run by a different judge, a future lawsuit grounded in similar arguments could be used to punish an abortion clinic like Planned Parenthood.

The post How RICO Could Be Weaponized Against Abortion Providers and Funds appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Pregnant people crossing borders to get an abortion. People who miscarry facing jail time, or dying from infection. Doctors who won’t perform life-saving procedures on a pregnant patient for fear of prosecution.

For years, this was the kind of thing that happened in Poland, Nicaragua, or El Salvador. Now, it’s headline news in the United States.

As a scholar who studies the relationship between reproductive rights and political regimes, I see the U.S. mirroring a pattern that has happened in authoritarian regimes around the world. When a government erects barriers to comprehensive reproductive care, it doesn’t just cause more death and suffering for pregnant people and their families. Such policies are often a first step in the gradual decline of democracies.

Yet, the U.S. is different in a meaningful way. Here, abortion has historically been framed as a personal right to privacy. In many other countries I’ve studied, abortion is viewed more as a collective right that is inextricably tied to broader social and economic issues.

The American individualist perspective on abortion can make it harder for people in the U.S. to understand why banning abortion can serve as a back door for the erosion of civil liberties—and of democracy itself.

Autocrats target abortion first

Restricting reproductive rights is a hallmark of authoritarian regimes.

From Benito Mussolini’s Italy in 1926 and Josef Stalin’s Soviet Union in 1936, to Francisco Franco’s Spain in 1941 and Nicolae Ceaușescu’s Romania in 1966, the first move most 20th-century dictators made after seizing power was to criminalize abortion and contraception.

Initially, for some of those autocratic leaders, limiting access to abortion and contraception was a strategy to gain the approval of the nation’s religious leaders. The Catholic Church held great power in Italy and Spain, as did the Orthodox Church in Romania. At the time, these faiths opposed artificial birth control and still believe life begins at conception.

Restrictions on reproductive rights also aimed to increase birth rates following two world wars that had stamped out some of the population, particularly in the Soviet Union and Italy. Many political leaders saw procreation as a national duty. They designated women—white, heterosexual women, that is—specific roles, primarily as mothers, to produce babies as well as future soldiers and workers for their regimes.

In the past two decades, countries in Europe and the Americas have been following this recognizable pattern. Nicaragua and Poland have both banned abortion. Hungary, Turkey, and Russia have all clamped down on access to it.

Restricting reproductive freedoms has helped Hungary’s Viktor Orbán, Russia’s Vladimir Putin, and Turkey’s Recep Tayyip Erdoğan stoke lasting political divisions within society that help them consolidate their own power.

These leaders invoke a threat of moral and demographic decline, claiming that child-free women, queer people, and immigrants pose a danger to national survival. In doing so, they portray themselves as defenders of their respective nations. It’s a way to regain and retain popular support even as their policies deepen poverty, erode civil liberties, and increase corruption.

These politicians have also de facto taken power away from a significant portion of the population by reinstating earlier, fascist-era restrictions on bodily autonomy. As feminist scholars have pointed out, strong reproductive rights are central to functioning democracies.

Restrictions on reproductive freedoms often necessitate other kinds of restrictions to enforce and maintain them. These might include free speech limits that prohibit providers from discussing people’s reproductive options. Criminalizing political dissent enables the arrest of people who protest restrictions on reproductive freedoms. Travel bans threaten prison time for individuals who help young people get abortion care out of state.

When these civil liberties weaken, it becomes harder to defend other rights. Without the right to speak, dissent, or move freely, people cannot engage in conversations, organize, or voice collective grievances.

Putting the U.S. in a global context

In 2022, the U.S. joined the likes of Poland and Hungary when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, ending nearly 50 years of federal abortion protections.

President Donald Trump was not in power when this happened. Yet the Supreme Court’s conservative majority was shaped during his first term.

Since then, both the second Trump administration and many states have enacted their own regulations or bans on abortion. This has created a divided country where, in some states, abortion is as restricted as it is under some of the world’s most autocratic regimes.

Yet, there’s a key difference.

In the U.S., abortion is viewed by the law and the public as a matter of individual rights. The debate often boils down to whether a person should be allowed to terminate their pregnancy.

In many other contexts, reproductive rights are understood as a collective good that benefits all society—or, conversely, harms all society when revoked.

This perspective can be a powerful driver of change. It’s how, for example, feminist groups in places like Argentina, Colombia, and Mexico have successfully pressured their governments to decriminalize abortion in recent years.

Since 2018, the movement known as Latin America’s Green Wave, or “Marea Verde” for their green protest bandanas, has deliberately and strategically reframed abortion as a human right, and used that assertion to expand reproductive rights.

The Latin American feminist activists have also documented how restricting abortion intensifies authoritarianism and worsens both individual and collective rights.

In a region where many citizens remember life under military dictatorship, highlighting the relationship between abortion and authoritarianism may be particularly galvanizing.

Limits of framing abortion as an individual right

Roe in 1973 recognized abortion as a private medical decision between “the woman and her responsible physician” up to the point of fetal viability—roughly around 24 to 26 weeks—and that framing has stuck.

This was basically what the mainstream pro-choice movement advocated for at the time. White feminists saw abortion rights as a personal liberty. This framing has real limitations.

As Black and brown reproductive justice advocates have long pointed out, Roe never served people of color or poor communities particularly well because of underlying unequal access to health care. Their work has, for decades, illustrated the strong connection between racial, economic, and reproductive justice, yet abortion is still largely regarded as solely an individual issue.

When debates about reproductive freedoms are framed as fights over individual rights, it can engender a legal quagmire. Other entities with rights emerge—the fetus, for example, or a potential grandparent—and are pitted against the pregnant person.

Recently, for instance, a pregnant woman declared brain dead in Georgia was kept alive for several months until her fetus became viable, apparently to comply with the state’s strict anti-abortion law. As her mother told the press, her family had no say in the matter.

Narrowly focusing on abortion as an individual right can also obscure why banning it has societal impacts.

Research worldwide shows that restricting reproductive freedoms does not lead to fewer abortions. Abortion bans only make abortion dangerous as people turn to unregulated “back alley” procedures. Maternal and infant mortality rates rise, especially in marginalized communities.

Simply stated: More pregnant people and babies die when abortion and contraception laws become more restrictive.

Other kinds of suffering increase, too. Pregnant people and their families tend to become poorer when contraception and abortion are hard to get.

Abortion bans also lead to discriminatory practices in health care beyond reproductive health services, such as oncology, neurology, and cardiology. Physicians who fear criminalization are forced to withhold or alter gold-standard treatments for pregnant patients, for example, or they may prescribe less effective drugs out of concern about legal consequences should patients later become pregnant.

Life-saving procedures in the emergency room must await a negative pregnancy test.

As a result, abortion bans decrease the quality and effectiveness of medical care for many patients, not just those who are pregnant.

Defending reproductive freedoms for healthy democracies

These findings demonstrate why reproductive rights are really a collective good. When viewed this way, it illuminates why they are an essential element of democracy.

Already, the rollback of reproductive freedoms in the U.S. has been followed by efforts to limit other key areas of freedoms, including LGBTQ+ rights, freedom of speech, and the right to travel.

Access to safe abortion for pregnant people, gender-affirming care for trans youth, and international travel for noncitizens are intertwined rights—not isolated issues.

When the government starts stripping away any of these rights, it signals serious trouble for democracy.

This story is published in collaboration with The Conversation U.S., a nonprofit news organization dedicated to unlocking the knowledge of experts for the public good. $\"The$

The post Banning Abortion Is a Hallmark of Authoritarian Regimes appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Banning, Abortion, Hallmark, Authoritarian, Regimes", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/counter.theconversation.com/content/265459/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/16/authoritarian-abortion-ban-conversation/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-16 11:19:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98758", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Planned Parenthood Is Getting In on the California Redistricting Effort (Podcast)", "title_slug": "why-planned-parenthood-is-getting-in-on-the-california-redistricting-effort-podcast", "title_hash": "29516ad2f9f25fde2fe9507a86932f4f", "summary": "Jodi Hicks from Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California explains the organization’s decision to back Gov. Gavin Newsom’s Proposition 50.\nThe post Why Planned Parenthood Is Getting In on the California Redistricting Effort (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode of Boom! Lawyered, Imani and Jess are joined by Jodi Hicks, President and CEO of Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California to unpack the redistricting fight between California and Texas and explain why the battle of the maps is a reproductive justice issue.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post Why Planned Parenthood Is Getting In on the California Redistricting Effort (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"it's$ Stop signaling you want a date. Learn to frame yourself as a cool, fun guy who just wants to hang out to seduce more effectively – and get the girl.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Get, Rid, Your, Here, Date, Tells, Seduce, Far, More, Effectively", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/here-to-date-tells-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-get-rid-your-here-date-tells-seduce-far-more-effectively", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98217", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Common Are Attainability Problems Really (If Women Hook Up with Celebrities)?", "title_slug": "how-common-are-attainability-problems-really-if-women-hook-up-with-celebrities", "title_hash": "54ff384d1ff6cf2c0ec6a7319d6fdf09", "summary": "Do average men really have attainability problems with women? If so, how is it possible for celebrities – even less attainable, right? – to get so much sex?\nA follower of the Girls Chase X account asked a great question a while back about attainability:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"does$ Do average men really have attainability problems with women? If so, how is it possible for celebrities – even less attainable, right? – to get so much sex?

A follower of the Girls Chase X account asked a great question a while back about attainability:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Common, Are, Attainability, Problems, Really, If, Women, Hook, with, Celebrities", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/attainability-problems-common-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-common-are-attainability-problems-really-if-women-hook-celebrities", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98218", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After Hours Street Game: How to Pick Up After the Clubs Close (Part 2)", "title_slug": "after-hours-street-game-how-to-pick-up-after-the-clubs-close-part-2", "title_hash": "d76381b9ee0f081e11b0da38d89168da", "summary": "Maximize your nightgame with after hour street pickup. Learn the crucial first 30 minutes and key tweaks to connect when clubs close.\nHey guys and welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ Maximize your nightgame with after hour street pickup. Learn the crucial first 30 minutes and key tweaks to connect when clubs close.

Hey guys and welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "After, Hours, Street, Game:, How, Pick, After, the, Clubs, Close, Part", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/pick-up-after-clubs-close-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/after-hours-street-game-how-pick-after-clubs-close-part-2", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98216", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Little Leaving (AKA Mini Takeaways)", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-little-leaving-aka-mini-takeaways", "title_hash": "43cc30db434dbdc229022db9f21b437e", "summary": "Use the “little leaving” technique to create natural intrigue and spark a woman’s interest before you even say a word.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"little$ Use the “little leaving” technique to create natural intrigue and spark a woman’s interest before you even say a word.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Little, Leaving, AKA, Mini, Takeaways", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/little-leaving-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-little-leaving-aka-mini-takeaways", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98215", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Things Women Secretly Crave Before Intimacy Begins", "title_slug": "8-things-women-secretly-crave-before-intimacy-begins", "title_hash": "bfeea999751890c552604241b368e74d", "summary": "It’s not always about the moment itself.Sometimes, it’s everything that happens before.The words, the tone, the little gestures…", "content": "It’s not always about the moment itself.Sometimes, it’s everything that happens before.The words, the tone, the little gestures…", "keywords": ", Things, Women, Secretly, Crave, Before, Intimacy, Begins", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/begins-e1760144546322.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-things-women-secretly-crave-before-intimacy-begins/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98214", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Signs a Couple Is Only About Physical Desire — And It’s Dangerous for the Relationship", "title_slug": "11-signs-a-couple-is-only-about-physical-desire-and-its-dangerous-for-the-relationship", "title_hash": "2acf0cd8b61349c266e131df20f8e82a", "summary": "At first, it feels alive.That spark, that pull, the way your body reacts before your mind even catches…", "content": "At first, it feels alive.That spark, that pull, the way your body reacts before your mind even catches…", "keywords": ", Signs, Couple, Only, About, Physical, Desire, —, And, It’s, Dangerous, for, the, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/relationship.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/signs-a-couple-is-only-about-physical-desire/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98213", "lang_id": "1", "title": "6 Reasons Why You Can’t Fix Someone With Narcissistic Personality Disorder", "title_slug": "6-reasons-why-you-cant-fix-someone-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder", "title_hash": "72251422415eaeeb9c3b717ede8d3095", "summary": "You think love can heal them.You tell yourself if you’re patient enough, calm enough, kind enough,they’ll finally see…", "content": "You think love can heal them.You tell yourself if you’re patient enough, calm enough, kind enough,they’ll finally see…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Why, You, Can’t, Fix, Someone, With, Narcissistic, Personality, Disorder", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/5-Things-Narcissists-Fear-the-Most-e1760319450763.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/6-reasons-why-you-cant-fix-someone-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98212", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Reasons Why You Don’t Post Your Partner", "title_slug": "7-reasons-why-you-dont-post-your-partner", "title_hash": "a4abb805ce4f99a4a38c719051d9e88a", "summary": "It’s strange, isn’t it? How something as small as a photo on social media can carry so much…", "content": "It’s strange, isn’t it? How something as small as a photo on social media can carry so much…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Why, You, Don’t, Post, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "85", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Reasons-Why-Guy-Acts-Single-on-Social-Media.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-reasons-why-you-dont-post-your-partner/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98211", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Here’s Why You Get Emotionally Attached After Having Intimacy", "title_slug": "heres-why-you-get-emotionally-attached-after-having-intimacy", "title_hash": "ea5308a87274e0d931241a975dd70823", "summary": "It’s strange, isn’t it… how quiet it feels afterward.Like the world pauses for a second, but your mind…", "content": "It’s strange, isn’t it… how quiet it feels afterward.Like the world pauses for a second, but your mind…", "keywords": "Here’s, Why, You, Get, Emotionally, Attached, After, Having, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/HERES-WHY-YOU-GET-EMOTIONALY-ATTACHED-AFTER-HAVING-SEX.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/heres-why-you-get-emotionally-attached-after-having-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98208", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Do If You’re Experiencing a Panic Attack", "title_slug": "what-to-do-if-youre-experiencing-a-panic-attack", "title_hash": "768bfa30df92902bf7e51a9ddcfbe7e7", "summary": "Unaddressed Mental Health Problems Can Quickly Become Physical Problems, Too", "content": "The stress of everyday life, from paying the bills to keeping up with your friends and family, can sometimes become overwhelming, even for the toughest of people, and maybe especially for people too proud to reach out for help. And sometimes, that excess of fear and anxiety can cause physical symptoms, including a racing heart rate and shortness of breath.\r\n“Panic attacks may happen out of nowhere,” warns psychiatrist Dr. Vania Manipod, whose Freud & Fashion blog delves into topics like overcoming burnout, making meaningful connections and tips to approach therapy sessions. “Anxiety is an evolutionarily normal feeling that humans experience when in fearful or stressful situations, but when anxiety is experienced in excess and has a negative impact in someone's daily life, that can be the difference between a healthy level of anxiety and an anxiety disorder.”\r\n“You don't have to have a pre-existing anxiety disorder in order to have a panic attack,” she adds. “People without any major past issues with anxiety can still experience a panic attack at some point in their lives.”\r\nRELATED: How to Date With Anxiety\r\nThe good news is that anyone who feels like they may be experiencing a panic attack can take immediate measures to ensure their symptoms don’t worsen. Here’s Manipod’s expert advice for treatment, including how you can prevent an instance from happening in the first place.\r\n\r\nWhat Is a Panic Attack?\r\n\r\nThe first step to lessening the intensity of a panic attack is to identify its symptoms.\r\n“A panic attack is an intense, sudden episode of fear that consists mostly of physical symptoms,” explains Manipod. “Some of the common symptoms are shortness of breath, racing heart, tense muscles, sweating, shaking, fear of losing control and a sense of impending doom.”\r\nDuring panic attacks, sufferers may feel as if they’re experiencing an urgent medical issue such as heart attack, stroke or asthma attack, but you technically can’t die from one (which is something you’ll absolutely want to keep in mind as a remedy).\r\n\r\nHow to Treat a Panic Attack\r\n\r\nIf you suddenly experience any of the aforementioned symptoms, there are three quick actions you can take to calm your mind and lessen the severity of your body’s reaction.\r\nTake Deep Breaths\r\nThis may seem easier said than done, but the ability to control your breathing patterns will help to significantly lower your heart rate and blood pressure.\r\n“When we sense danger, we experience a fight or flight response that triggers a reaction for us to evade danger,” says Manipod. “Our heart beats faster, muscles tense, we breathe faster — we experience a physical reaction to help us survive, and eventually we relax once we are safe.”\r\n“When we experience panic attacks, many times we are not sure what the threat is, therefore the fight or flight response persists and the physical symptoms can further trigger our anxiety since, in the moment, we don't know where it's coming from,” she adds. “In order to put a stop to this response, it's important for us to be mindful, proactive and recognize the need to apply relaxation techniques like deep breathing in order to trigger relaxation.”\r\nOne tried-and-true method is the 4-7-8 technique. Simply inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven and exhale deeply through your mouth for eight seconds. Repeat these cycles multiple times until you feel rested.\r\nImmediately Challenge Negative Thoughts\r\nThe power of positivity plays a significant role in maintaining good mental health, but it’s more important than ever if you are experiencing a panic attack.\r\n“During a panic attack, negative, automatic thoughts flood our mind, such as ‘I feel like I’m going to die’ or ‘people must think I’m crazy,’” says Manipod. “Counter these thoughts and remind yourself that you’ve got this and are going to get through it.”\r\nLittle affirmations like these may seem like they wouldn’t help, but research suggests otherwise.\r\nLook for Distractions\r\nIt’s difficult to interrupt and subdue a panicked response in the moment, but Manipod recommends seeking distraction techniques or attention diversions to refocus your energy elsewhere.\r\n“Step out for fresh air, squeeze a stress ball, sing a happy song or drink a glass of water,” she advises. “Or try grounding techniques such as focusing on something around you or touching the ground beneath you.”\r\nThese actions force your body to reroute its response to other movements, which will take stress off your lungs and heart. It also forces your brain to do the same which, when compounded with positive mantras like “this can’t kill me” and “you are going to be okay,” can help to alleviate any sense of urgency or despair.\r\n\r\nHow to Prevent Panic Attacks\r\n\r\nWhile you can certainly avoid situations that may trigger an extreme psychological response (i.e. not scaling a building if you’re afraid of heights), Manipod also recommends getting adequate sleep and adopting stress-reducing practices like yoga or meditation.\r\n“It’s difficult to pinpoint causes of panic attacks that can come on suddenly. Panic attacks can result from a combination of factors, such as medical conditions that have similar symptoms like asthma exacerbation,” she says.\r\nBut if stress-prone individuals make an effort to keep their anxiety levels balanced in everyday life, that is the first step to prevent a panic attack from occurring in the first place.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Talk to a New Partner About Your Mental Health\r\n\tHow to Date if You Have Depression\r\n\tMental Health Basics All Men Should Know", "keywords": "What, You’re, Experiencing, Panic, Attack", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/mental_health/what-to-do-if-you-re-experiencing-a-panic-attack/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1760446793.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/mental_health/what-to-do-if-you-re-experiencing-a-panic-attack.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98209", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Are Hard Launching & Soft Launching?", "title_slug": "what-are-hard-launching-soft-launching", "title_hash": "a10551cee1d6e67d22187f65392fd94b", "summary": "Here Are the Rules for the New Way to Announce You're in a Relationship", "content": "So you’ve been seeing someone for a few months, and things are going great. You’re both on the same page about wanting to take the relationship further; perhaps you’ve had the exclusivity talk. \r\nIn the age of sharing everything online, you may have started wondering: How and when should I post my new partner on social media?\r\nOver the past decade, social media has played a significant role in shaping how people perceive and define relationships. \r\n“With so many different social media platforms available and very few people having no digital presence, it makes sense that we expect dating lives to show up in some way via social media,” says Dr. Nari Jeter, LMFT.\r\n“A common overall anxiety is questioning how long the relationship will last and if it is truly worthy of a semi-permanent spot on their wall or feed,” says Jeter.\r\nRELATED: How to Use Social Media Like a Gentleman \r\nBut here’s where it gets tricky: when do you actually post about them? The question might seem trivial, but it carries real weight for many people.\r\n\r\nHard Launching vs. Soft Launching\r\n\r\nHard launching a relationship means you’re clearly stating to the world that you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, says Jeter. \r\nAn example of a hard launch can be changing a relationship status on social media, tagging your significant other in pictures, and even posting about them and naming them as your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner online.\r\nWith a soft launch, on the other hand, you’re hinting that you’re seeing someone without directly telling your friends and followers who it is, or for how long. \r\n“This can be through pictures, such as faceless date photos or shadows of two figures walking holding hands, all implying there is a person, but no clear proclamation of who it is,” Jeter explains.\r\n“I believe soft launches [are] a testing ground [for your relationship] but also a form of protection,” says Jeter. “A soft launch may be a way to gauge whether your friends and followers are ready to be supportive of a relationship in general.”\r\nHowever, protecting privacy may be more specific to the person you are dating. For example, if they are high-profile, have extenuating circumstances (such as not being legally divorced yet), or if there are concerns about an ex-partner retaliating, individuals may choose a soft launch for protection.\r\nAccording to Anthony Canapi, founder of Best Man Matchmaking, soft launches can be a way for LGBTQ+ couples to feel seen without risking safety and vulnerability.\r\n“Because we have more nuances, there are more topics and discussions that need to be brought up that can cause harm to one or both partners.” (One example that Canapi notes is whether or not couples have family on social media who know they are queer.)\r\n\r\nWhy Do People Hard/Soft Launch Relationships?\r\n\r\nBack in the 2000s and early 2010s, it was all about being “Facebook official.” In the 2020s, people are more cautious about what they share online, especially when it comes to significant others. \r\nThere are real psychological reasons why posting about your relationship matters. \r\n“One factor is commitment,” says Jeter. “Online sharing signals to others that they are ‘off the market’ and in a committed relationship. It can also be a sign of commitment towards their partner, legitimizing the relationship through social proof.”\r\nBut it’s not all about proving something to others. Sometimes posting your partner is genuinely about celebration. \r\n“Having a partner who loves and cares for you is beautiful and meaningful,” Jeter notes. “And what better place than social media to share those experiences?” \r\nFor Canapi, posting can also be an act of pride.\r\n“Working with LGBTQPIA+ singles and couples, I find that posting on social media is an empowering act of visibility,” he says. \r\nBeing able to say “This is who I love, and I’m proud of it,” he notes, can be huge for people whose love is seen as somehow wrong by those with homophobic prejudices. \r\nHowever, there are other ways to share the news without posting about it — old-fashioned means such as emails, phone calls, telling people in person and even letter-writing. \r\nThese may not have the efficiency of being able to reach dozens or hundreds of people you know in one fell swoop, but they can also offer you more control over who finds out and how, as well as offering the opportunity for more in-depth exchanges about your news. \r\n\r\nIs There a Right Way to Launch Your Relationship?\r\n\r\nSimply put: no. \r\nWhat works for one person or one couple might be radically different for someone else. The decision to hard or soft launch is based solely on you and your partner’s comfort levels.\r\n“Personal preference may be linked to personality style and how open and vulnerable one may be on social media,” says Jeter. “Some people prefer to share as little as possible on social media, while others are very open.”\r\nAnother big factor is dating history. \r\n“For example, if someone has had a recent slew of failed relationships that were hard launched on social media, they may be more hesitant to launch another one,” says Jeter. “Or, if this new relationship comes particularly soon after a previous one, one might fear judgment from others on the new relationship timing.”\r\nRELATED: How to Avoid Rebound Relationship Mistakes \r\nHere are some things to consider if you’re grappling with sharing your S.O. on social media.\r\nHow Long Have You Been Dating?\r\nThere’s no universal guideline for when to share with the people you know that you’re seeing someone new — what feels like the right time for one person may seem too early for another and too late for yet a third. \r\nIt’s all about trying to find a timing that’s right for both you and your new partner. That being said, the experts caution against rushing into a hard launch. \r\n“Couples who post too early may feel like their relationship is being judged and not taken seriously,” says Jeter. “Also, if the other partner pressures one partner to post too early, it can feel inauthentic.”\r\n“Share the moments, not the milestones,” Canapi adds. “Couples need to ask ‘Why?’ and ‘What will this post do for not only the couple, but the person making the post?’ because it can be more self-conscious compared to a couple-conscious decision.”\r\nHow ‘Official’ Is Your Relationship?\r\n“Some people may hard launch because they’re open on social media, and it may not imply a deep commitment. While others may hard launch only when they’re committed,” says Jeter. “You should have conversations on what the launch implies about the commitment level in the relationship.”\r\nIn short, you should probably have some form of a “define the relationship” conversation before you launch the relationship.\r\nHow Might Friends & Family React?\r\nSure, your relationship is and should be about the two of you, but when you post on social media, you’re inviting the world to share their thoughts. \r\n“If there are a lot of positive responses and congratulations, it can bolster the relationship. However, if responses are limited or even negative, a lack of social support can quickly sour a relationship” for some people, Jeter notes. \r\nFor example, a comment like,“‘Hey, wait, what happened to the last one?” could be seen as a judgment on the person’s dating history.\r\n“I’ve even had individuals express fear of hard launching their relationship because their ‘ex’ may reach out to their new partner to harass them,” Jeter adds. \r\nRELATED: How to Navigate Social Media After a Breakup\r\nIf either of you has any concerns about responses from specific people in your lives, it could be best to use privacy tools at your disposal, such as blocking, muting, soft-blocking and “close friends” posting in order to reduce the likelihood of the wrong people engaging. \r\nHow Can You Make the Launch a Collaborative Effort?\r\n“People should draft the post verbiage and pick out any pictures together with their partner,” Jeter explains. “They should also get consent to tag the partner in this post.”\r\nAnd when you do decide to post about your partner on social media, keep it positive. \r\n“It’s also important to keep the post about the current relationship and not use it as a passive-aggressive jab at previous partners/relationships,” Jeter adds. “You don’t have to put others down to bolster your current partner. It just doesn’t send off a good vibe.”\r\n\r\nWhat If You and Your Partner Disagree About Posting?\r\n\r\nSo, you’re more coy about sharing on social media, but your S.O. is ready to show you off to the world? Or vice-versa? Its time to talk it out. And how you handle this disagreement matters more than the outcome. \r\n“It’s how these conversations are handled that are more meaningful than the outcomes. They can be glimpses into bigger relational issues like communication styles, conflict management, and problem-solving,” she explains.\r\nInstead, try to find a middle ground, Jeter says. \r\n“Posting a picture of holding hands could be followed with the caption, ‘I’m so happy right now. When we’re ready, I’ll let you know why…and who!’” she suggests. “This is a nod to a new relationship while also setting the boundary that specifics will be shared later.”\r\nRemember: social media isn’t the only way to signal commitment. \r\n“If someone has met one’s friends and family in real life, does that signal commitment to them?” Jeter asks. “And if so, does going public on social media signal even more commitment, especially if that person doesn’t share much on social media to begin with?”\r\n\r\nThe Bottom Line About Hard & Soft Launching\r\n\r\nHere’s the reality: “I hear many young people exclaim, ‘It’s on Instagram — it must be serious!!!’ when talking about peer and celebrity relationships,” says Jeter. \r\nBut she also notes a counterpoint from her own experience: “I, as an Xennial, will often joke with my husband that the people who post the most about their relationships are typically the unhappiest behind closed doors.”\r\nJeter advises being intentional about building the foundations of your relationship before introducing outside influences. \r\n“It takes a lot to create a secure, meaningful relationship,” says Jeter. “Take the time to enjoy it peacefully and quietly, because when you share it with the world, you invite others’ opinions, feelings, and projections about it.”\r\nAnd lastly, no relation is the same. Do what’s best for yours. “Your relationship is real, whether or not it’s visible on Instagram,” says Canapi. “So make decisions based on love, not likes.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThings Men Do Online After a Breakup Are You Dating Someone With a Social Media Addiction?Flirting Mistakes Guys Make On Social Media", "keywords": "What, Are, Hard, Launching, Soft, Launching", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-are-hard-launching-soft-launching/askmen-lead-image-2x1-47-1760047099.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-are-hard-launching-soft-launching.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98210", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Monkey-Branching?", "title_slug": "what-is-monkey-branching", "title_hash": "c29bfe1358dfc1b83dab985832cf858e", "summary": "Ever Been Monkey-Branched? This Relationship Trend Is Troubling, Not Cute", "content": "We all know that textbook cheating on a partner is generally considered unethical—but what about that grey zone when you’re emotionally connecting with someone else — otherwise known as monkey-branching — before fully breaking things off with your existing partner?\r\n“Monkey-branching is a typology of behavior when an individual starts giving emotional or romantic attention to a new partner while still maintaining their current relationship,” explains Niloufar Esmaeilpour, Registered Clinical Counsellor and Founder of Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre. \r\n“Many people consider this type of situation as ‘practical’ or a means to avoid isolation, but, actually, it is purely betrayal and avoidance of accountability,” she adds. \r\nRELATED: Internet Dating Slang Terms You Need to Know \r\nThe concept of monkey-branching does sound like an innocent enough term, but swinging from one partner to the next with no breathing room in between inevitably means you’ve been doing the emotional work behind the scenes, essentially getting emotionally prepared to end one relationship and start the next behind your current partner’s back. \r\n\r\nWhat Does Monkey-Branching Look Like?\r\n\r\nAccording to Esmaeilpour, monkey-branching can look like sending covert messages, arranging clandestine meetings, or withdrawing emotionally from the existing partner, while at the same time, getting close to the next one. \r\n“Although the current partner may not discover it right away, the behavior of monkey-branching can ruin trust because it violates the very basic elements of healthy relationships, which are openness and respect,” she adds.\r\n\r\nIs Monkey-Branching Ever Ethical?\r\n\r\nCompared to sleeping with someone behind your partner's back, monkey-branching might seem innocent, but it toes the line between ethical and, well, outright infidelity. \r\nFrom a legal perspective, Emma Alves, Senior Family Lawyer at Alves Law says that in her practice, the acceptability of this behavior is irrelevant as divorce in family court is a no-fault divorce.\r\n“The court is not there to pass moral judgment, but it does pay attention to the critical legal concept of date of separation,” she explains. “Any new relationship brought about prior to this date constitutes adultery. Starting a new relationship before ending the old is a bad idea, as it almost guarantees a high-conflict ending.”\r\nRELATED: 5 Rules to Help You Have a Non-Dramatic Breakup \r\nWhile monkey-branching might not fit into the textbook definition of cheating, it’s still disrespectful to your current partner and can also hurt your potential future partner if you’re not clear about the fact that you’re still in a relationship when you’re building an emotional connection with them.\r\nEthically speaking, if you find yourself tempted to start building a connection with someone else, it’s worth considering ending things with your current partner and going at it alone before starting things up (even casually or emotionally) with someone new.\r\n\r\nWhat Should You Do If You’ve Been Monkey-Branched?\r\n\r\n“If a partner finds out that their significant other has monkey-branched, then my recommendation is to first take time to process the feelings and emotions,” says Esmaeilpour. \r\nRELATED: Here’s How to Know If You’re Someone’s Rebound \r\n“It’s completely normal to experience emotional shock, inadequacy, or even questioning oneself, and the right thing to do is to recognize them rather than push them down.”\r\nAccording to Esmaeilpour, a partner-to-partner talk is of great importance; it is vital to get to the bottom of what transpired, the reason behind their decision, and if they are ready to accept full accountability for their action.\r\nEsmaeilpour says it’s important to revisit your limits — consider whether it is realistic for you to trust again someone who has treated you in such a way or if being apart is the better option for your mental health. \r\nThis can go for both new partners and existing partners who have found out their partner had been keeping a roster of options in case they find themselves single.\r\nMonkey-branching doesn’t necessarily mean you should end your relationship with your partner but finding out why they felt that they needed a “back up” before breaking it off with their last partner can be telling.\r\nLong-term, switching partners like this may be a sign of bigger problems, such as no commitment, poor emotional control, or unwillingness to face conflicts, points out Esmaeilpour. Monkey-branching also suggests individuals are unable to be single or need to be in a relationship to feel validated.\r\n“Relationships may go on, but these behaviors will keep coming back unless both partners do some serious thinking and, better still, go for therapy,” she says. “Trust, good communication and respect are necessary for healthy relationships, and monkey-branching often leads to the loss of all three.”\r\n“If you find yourself in such a situation, getting help from a therapist or counselor will enable you to decide in favor of your emotional well-being and set the standard for how you wish to be treated in your future relationships,” Esmaeilpour concludes. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nUnderstanding Cushioning, The New Dating TrendWhat Is Future Faking? A Look at This Incredibly Destructive Dating Habit‘Paperclipping’ Is the Latest Dating Trend That You Need to Know", "keywords": "What, Monkey-Branching", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-is-monkey-branching/askmen-lead-image-2x1-49-1760124440.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/what-is-monkey-branching.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98207", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Muscles Women Love On Men", "title_slug": "muscles-women-love-on-men", "title_hash": "35e3cf5ceafaf93a3f2ca367d1ce80ab", "summary": "One of my best friends didn’t start working out until college. He was interested in a cute girl, but he wasn’t in shape. After being called fat and told he needed to lose weight by the girl, he found his way into the weight room. \r\nThere's a number of guys out there who can relate to that story. Whether you ended up in the iron game after a painful breakup or you wanted to get fit to impress your crush, you might have gotten into fitness because of the opposite sex. \r\nBut have you ever stopped to think about which body parts women find attractive? If you’re going to start lifting because you want to attract women, you should probably work on the muscles women go crazy for. And just to be clear, I’m not saying lifting is all about attracting women. I plan to lift for many more decades because I love it. I love building muscle, getting stronger, and the pump I get in the gym. \r\nBut it would still be nice to know which body parts women like the most. I posted on Facebook, asked women who", "content": "One of my best friends didn’t start working out until college. He was interested in a cute girl, but he wasn’t in shape. After being called fat and told he needed to lose weight by the girl, he found his way into the weight room. \r\nThere's a number of guys out there who can relate to that story. Whether you ended up in the iron game after a painful breakup or you wanted to get fit to impress your crush, you might have gotten into fitness because of the opposite sex. \r\nBut have you ever stopped to think about which body parts women find attractive? If you’re going to start lifting because you want to attract women, you should probably work on the muscles women go crazy for. And just to be clear, I’m not saying lifting is all about attracting women. I plan to lift for many more decades because I love it. I love building muscle, getting stronger, and the pump I get in the gym. \r\nBut it would still be nice to know which body parts women like the most. I posted on Facebook, asked women who go to the gym I work at, raised the question on Snapchat and even asked random women (which, by the way, turns out to be a pretty solid opening line). \r\nRELATED: How to Fake a Beach Body\r\nAll in all, I talked to nearly 75 different women about this very subject. It wasn’t the most scientifically sound endeavor, but it got the job done. Here are their answers — and how to build the body parts they love. \r\n\r\nThe Muscles Women Love — and How to Train Them\r\n\r\nBack\r\nA well-developed back barely won the battle of the body parts.\r\nThe truth is, a big back is often synonymous with strength and virility. It helps you attain that coveted V-taper look. And it aesthetically transforms your physique — more than a decent set of arms or chest ever will.\r\nIf you’re looking to build a big back, here are a few exercises you should include in your workout routine: \r\n\r\n\tBarbell rows\r\n\tLat pulldowns\r\n\tDumbbell rows\r\nButt\r\nWhen I started performing my “research”, I was blown away by the amount of women who were so quick to mention a good butt. I had heard this before but I figured it was because I spent so much time around women in the gym, who might be a little biased when it comes to appreciating a muscular physique. \r\nNope. It turns out women all over the place love it when a guy has a good butt. So if you’ve been neglecting your glutes, it’s time to fix that. Luckily, I’ve got your back (read: butt) covered with a few exercises you should start doing: \r\n\r\n\tSquats\r\n\tHip Thrusts\r\n\tGlute-Ham Raises\r\n\tLunges\r\nShoulders\r\nMuch like a strong back, well-developed shoulders can completely transform your physique. A set of boulder shoulders automatically makes your arms look bigger, fills out your upper body, and contributes to that V-taper look.\r\nIf you’re looking to take your shoulders to the next level, focus on the few following exercises: \r\n\r\n\tOverhead Presses\r\n\tUpright Rows\r\n\tLateral Raises\r\nLegs\r\nThe amount of women who mentioned legs truly made my heart warm. And they even specified quads and hamstrings, which made the personal trainer and anatomy nerd in me happy.\r\nIf you’ve been skipping leg day because you think women don’t care, well, I hate to break it to you, but they care — a lot. \r\nIt might be time to start bringing these exercises back into your routine.\r\n\r\n\tSquats\r\n\tFront Squats\r\n\tLunges\r\n\tLeg Presses\r\n\r\nOh, and if for some reason you can’t squat, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with this squat-free leg workout.\r\nChest\r\nThere were a few women who openly said they favor a strong chest, and one friend of mine even mentioned the clavicular head of the pec — otherwise known as the upper chest.\r\nEven though it didn't end up at the top of the list of women's favorite muscles, your chest shouldn’t be neglected. And if you are, honestly what’s the matter with you? Don’t you celebrate International Chest day?\r\nIn case you don’t, here’s what you can start doing:\r\n\r\n\tDumbbell Incline Bench Press\r\n\tDumbbell Bench Press\r\n\tLow-To-High Cable Fly\r\nAbs\r\nThroughout my rigorous research I was commonly told that women like abs, but they don’t love shredded abs. A relatively defined stomach is perfectly OK. Really, as long as you don’t have a stomach that hangs over your belt, you’re going to be fine. A six-pack isn’t something most women actually fawn over.\r\nBut what they do love is what’s typically known as the Adonis belt — or the V on your hips next to your lower abs.\r\nIf you’re looking to bring your abs up, start doing:\r\n\r\n\tHanging Leg Raises\r\n\tCable Crunches\r\n\tAb Wheel Rollouts\r\nArms\r\nIf you’re shocked to see arms this far down on the list, you’re not alone. I was blown away by how few women openly mentioned arms. So I pushed further, asking my research subjects why arms weren’t on their list. \r\nThe resounding answer was that good arms usually come with the package of great back, shoulder and chest muscles that they love. So props to you ladies for realizing that heavy compound exercises do a great job at building big arms.\r\nHowever, if your arm development is lacking, here are a few arm-specific exercises: \r\n\r\n\tBarbell Bicep Curls\r\n\tClose-Grip Bench Press\r\n\tReverse Curls\r\n\tTricep Extensions (either with a bar or on a cable pulley)\r\nCalves\r\nCalves may be last on the list, but they’re important enough that at least twenty different women mentioned them by name.\r\nCalves are an important body part to build because they can transform your physique. A set of strong and defined calves is something you can show off while wearing shorts — and it automatically makes you appear more athletic. \r\nIf your calves are lacking, it’s important to realize that calves respond well to higher volume and a lot of time under tension. Paying attention to exercise tempo can completely transform your calves. Some of the best exercises you can do are:\r\n\r\n\tStanding Calf Raises (on a Smith machine)\r\n\tSeated Calf Raises\r\n\tDonkey Calf Raises\r\n\r\nMy research taught me women love a strong, well-developed, athletic body. And I heard time and time again that they don’t love it when a guy gets too big or looks like he spends every waking hour in the gym.\r\nSo gentlemen, take notes. Don’t neglect your calves, and as much as you love a good arm pump, focus on rows and squats — they may do a better job at attracting women.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Build a Home GymBest Home Workout EquipmentBest Exercise Equipment Under $100", "keywords": "Muscles, Women, Love, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/muscles-women-love-on-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1760468384.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/muscles-women-love-on-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 09:00:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98201", "lang_id": "1", "title": "From Fantasy to Legacy: The 6 Stages Every Marriage Goes Through", "title_slug": "from-fantasy-to-legacy-the-6-stages-every-marriage-goes-through", "title_hash": "1bb7d318f60082fca37ec3fb2ba0c9c4", "summary": "Discover the 6 stages of marriage—from the early butterflies to lasting love—and why each stage can bring you closer together.\nThe post From Fantasy to Legacy: The 6 Stages Every Marriage Goes Through appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Discover the 6 stages of marriage—from the early butterflies to lasting love—and why each stage can bring you closer together.

The post From Fantasy to Legacy: The 6 Stages Every Marriage Goes Through appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "From, Fantasy, Legacy:, The, Stages, Every, Marriage, Goes, Through", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Screenshot-2025-10-11-at-5.58.46-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/from-fantasy-to-legacy-the-6-stages-every-marriage-goes-through/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 08:59:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98068", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Supporting Aging Adults: Ways to Cope with Anxiety Every Day", "title_slug": "supporting-aging-adults-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety-every-day", "title_hash": "a60379f3a6a8c14cd8e4b10a602a81be", "summary": "Have you ever noticed how worries seem to grow louder as the years go by? Aging brings wisdom and experience, but it can also bring new fears about health, memory, and independence. Many older adults struggle quietly with anxiety that affects their peace of mind. Supporting them through this stage takes patience, empathy, and understanding. This article explores simple, caring ways to help aging adults cope with anxiety and find comfort in their everyday lives. Encouraging Gentle Movement Exercise can ease anxiety by releasing tension and boosting mood. Gentle activities like walking, stretching, or yoga help aging adults stay active without strain. Physical movement supports both the body and the mind, creating a sense of control and well-being. Movement also promotes better sleep and sharper focus. It gives energy during the day and helps settle restlessness at night. Even short sessions can lift spirits and make anxious moments easier to manage. Creating Calm Spaces A calm space giv", "content": "

Have you ever noticed how worries seem to grow louder as the years go by? Aging brings wisdom and experience, but it can also bring new fears about health, memory, and independence. Many older adults struggle quietly with anxiety that affects their peace of mind. Supporting them through this stage takes patience, empathy, and understanding. This article explores simple, caring ways to help aging adults cope with anxiety and find comfort in their everyday lives. Encouraging Gentle Movement Exercise can ease anxiety by releasing tension and boosting mood. Gentle activities like walking, stretching, or yoga help aging adults stay active without strain. Physical movement supports both the body and the mind, creating a sense of control and well-being. Movement also promotes better sleep and sharper focus. It gives energy during the day and helps settle restlessness at night. Even short sessions can lift spirits and make anxious moments easier to manage. Creating Calm Spaces A calm space gives comfort and safety to those feeling anxious. Soft lighting, soothing colors, and simple decor can make a room feel peaceful. Reducing noise and clutter helps quiet the mind and lower stress levels. This kind of environment supports relaxation and focus. Familiar items […]

The post Supporting Aging Adults: Ways to Cope with Anxiety Every Day appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Supporting, Aging, Adults:, Ways, Cope, with, Anxiety, Every, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Supporting1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/adults-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety-every-day/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 08:54:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98016", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Still Avoid Mirrors Because of What People Said About My Head", "title_slug": "i-still-avoid-mirrors-because-of-what-people-said-about-my-head", "title_hash": "96589c83cb0ec288d1d1be0c3cf4cb1f", "summary": "I grew up knowing my head was big and my nose even bigger. No one had to tell me; mirrors don’t lie. From a young age, I understood how different …", "content": "

I grew up knowing my head was big and my nose even bigger. No one had to tell me; mirrors don’t lie. From a young age, I understood how different I looked from the other girls in school. I wasn’t ugly, but I didn’t fit the soft, pretty image that seemed to come naturally to others.

What I lacked in appearance, I made up for in intelligence. I was one of the brightest students in class, the kind who always passed her exams with ease. My teachers called me the golden girl, a name that followed me from primary school through JHS. Even with that title, I never sought to be the best of the best. I studied just enough to pass my papers and stay safe in my own corner, unnoticed and unbothered.

There were two boys who completed JHS with me. Both were equally intelligent, and funny enough, both had big heads too. Maybe that’s why I felt comfortable around them. We shared an unspoken understanding and a quiet acceptance of who we were. Nobody ever mocked me openly, perhaps because they respected my mind. Still, I could always sense the silent thoughts behind certain smiles.

When I got to senior high school, things changed. I became more aware of how people saw me. The whispers grew louder, even though they were never directed at me. I would catch people glancing my way and then looking off quickly, pretending they hadn’t been staring. I learned to laugh less and speak only when necessary.

One day, one of my course teachers looked at me in front of the class and casually asked, “Why is your head so big?” Everyone laughed softly, unsure whether to join in or stay quiet. I forced a small smile, pretending it didn’t bother me. But it did. It hurt in a way I couldn’t explain. That single comment confirmed the fear I had carried for years. No matter what I achieved, people would always see the head before they saw me.

After school, life moved on. I earned my degree and now work in a corporate office. From the outside, it looks like I’ve made it. But inside, the same fear lingers. I avoid too much attention, too much eye contact, and too much laughter. I keep conversations brief, afraid someone might make a careless remark about my looks.

The truth is, I never had anyone to teach me confidence. There was no mother to tell me I was beautiful, no father to say I was special just as I was. I grew up with my elder sister, who, instead of encouragement, often used my appearance as a source of jokes. I still remember the day I braided my hair into cornrows, feeling happy and confident for once. When she saw me, she laughed and said, “This hairstyle really shows your head shape.” That single comment buried my confidence. Since that day, I’ve never worn cornrows again. Not once in my 29 years.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Even braiding my hair at the salon feels like an act of courage. I sit there, tense and quiet, worried the hairstylists might exchange looks or laugh behind my back. It’s exhausting to live with that kind of fear, but it has become second nature to me.

Still, in my quiet moments, I remind myself that the same head people laughed at carries a powerful mind. It is a mind that has survived rejection, silence, and shame. I may not have grown up with affirmations or applause, but I’ve learnt something important. Beauty fades, but brilliance endures.

Maybe one day, I’ll stand in front of a mirror and say to myself, You are enough. Your head is not too big; it simply holds a big dream.

Until then, I’ll keep walking my path quietly. I am the golden girl who never needed to shine loudly to prove her worth.

—Mariam

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", "keywords": ", Still, Avoid, Mirrors, Because, What, People, Said, About, Head", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/13808.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-still-avoid-mirrors-because-of-what-people-said-about-my-head/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 08:52:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98014", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Ex Boyfriend’s ‘Distin’ is Not Working And He Believes I Cursed Him", "title_slug": "my-ex-boyfriends-distin-is-not-working-and-he-believes-i-cursed-him", "title_hash": "3c66cbc025807c1cc3455d9a1db28da1", "summary": " He asked me to pass by his place after work, and I agreed. It was a Friday, so I planned to sleep over and probably spend the weekend with …", "content": "

He asked me to pass by his place after work, and I agreed. It was a Friday, so I planned to sleep over and probably spend the weekend with him if his schedule would allow it. When I was going to work that day, I picked up the dresses I would wear while with him and even picked up a few food items that I would cook, just in case.

Later on Friday afternoon, I saw his call on my phone. He told me, “You don’t need to come. The office has called me for an emergency, so I’m on my way.” I told him I was disappointed because I had prepared to spend the weekend with him. “I even have food I’m going to prepare for you.” He laughed. He told me he would call before the day ended so we would know what to do next.

I didn’t hear from him again until I closed from work and called him. He told me they were handling the emergency and that he would see me at my place if they finished early enough.

I went home to wait for his call, but that call never came. When I called him in the evening, he didn’t pick up. Not once, and not twice. I don’t know, but everything in me wanted to see him that evening. I had planned for him, so it was difficult to get him off my mind. When he didn’t pick up at 9 p.m., I decided to get a taxi and go check if he had come home and had forgotten to call before sleeping.

I saw a light in his room before I saw his car parked at the corner of the compound. I made the sign of the cross and congratulated myself for not giving up. I would get to spend the weekend with the man I love so deeply.

I turned the doorknob, and it was locked. I knocked and knocked until I heard his voice pierce through the door, asking who it was. I mentioned my name and said, “You’re back and didn’t call me? Open the door. I’m here.”

It took him forever to come out. I grew suspicious while waiting. He came out and quickly locked the door behind him. He spoke almost in a whisper, “What are you doing here this late? My mom is around, and that’s the reason I couldn’t ask you to come.” I asked, “Your mom hates it when you answer a call from your girlfriend?”

“Not that, but you should go. I’ll see you tomorrow when she leaves. I’ll explain.”

I wasn’t born yesterday. I demanded to see who was there. I tried fighting my way through him, and he blocked me. I told him I wasn’t going to leave until I saw who was inside his room. It became a tussle; our voices went up a notch. It was late, so tenants started coming out to see what was happening. The lady inside heard the noise too and wanted to come out, but he had locked the door, so she knocked from the inside, asking what was going on.

In fact, I was heartbroken when I heard the lady’s voice. I’ve been loved and left many times, but none hurt like what I saw that night. He threatened to beat me if I didn’t leave. He pushed me to leave his compound. Had it not been for a lady who held me, I would have fallen flat on the floor. So I started hurling insults his way. The more I insulted him, the more bitter I became. He painted me as an unwanted devil before his co-tenants, who had seen me around on several occasions.

Out of bitterness and pain, I started saying things I didn’t know where they came from: “Herh Jonas, I swear one day you’ll run looking for me, but you won’t find me anywhere when the time comes. You’ll wish to see my face and say sorry to me for this embarrassment, but it would be too late. What will happen to you can’t be explained. You’ll go south and north, but no one will be able to help you. You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

When I eventually left his place, I couldn’t go home straight away. My chest was so heavy I had to sit in a corner and cry. I thought we were on the path to marriage because he had promised me that much. He was the only guy I’d introduced to my parents and siblings because I was so sure. I sat in that corner and cried a river, hoping my tears would drown me. I walked home without feeling how long the distance was. Heartbreak isn’t a good thing. I wonder why national health insurance doesn’t cover that.

Less than a year later, Jonas was at my door with his friend. I had healed and was even trying out another relationship. I was shocked to see them, yet I played it cool. “Ahuh, how may I help you?” I asked. His friend answered, “Oh Betty, at least give us a chair first? Are we fighting?” I answered, “I know you didn’t come here because of a chair. Please talk; I have things to do.”

I don’t even know how to say this without laughing. According to him, his sex life has suffered since I poured those “curses” on him, to the extent that he no longer gets an erection whenever he needs it. So they had come to me to apologize and ask me to undo whatever I did against him. I told him, “If I had any powers to do anything against you, do you think it’s your erection I would go for? It would have been your life, I swear. See the pain and the embarrassment you caused me. Please, go and seek medical help and stop disturbing my peace.”

When they left, I burst out laughing. It sounded like a bad joke without a punch line, yet you laugh anyway because why not. I called his friend days later and asked what was happening to his friend. It was more serious than I thought. They had visited a fetish priest, and he had told them it was a lady behind it. I told him, “Maybe another lady, because it’s not me.” His friend said they suspected the lady I met there that night because that lady also broke up with him that very night and said weird things. “He’s begging that lady too, but she says it’s not her.”

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

I burst out laughing. Why doesn’t this happen more often to men who break hearts for fun? Karma shouldn’t only go for their erections but their eyesight too, so they don’t see women again in their lives.

It was only yesterday that I spoke to his friend. He said they still haven’t found the cure. I said any hands that try to cure him, if it’s a man, should suffer the same fate because a man like Jonas doesn’t deserve an erection. What’s he using it for? Apart from to deceive a woman’s heart?

—Betty

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******

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend’s, ‘Distin’, Not, Working, And, Believes, Cursed, Him", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/519608.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-ex-boyfriends-distin-is-not-working-and-he-believes-i-cursed-him/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 08:52:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "98015", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Picked Up", "title_slug": "i-called-my-girlfriend-and-another-man-picked-up", "title_hash": "26a9469005d3e3364072ed51459a07b7", "summary": "My girlfriend is playing some games that are very hurtful to my heart. I have tried to understand her so I can turn her affections back to me but I …", "content": "

My girlfriend is playing some games that are very hurtful to my heart. I have tried to understand her so I can turn her affections back to me but I can’t even make sense of anything she is doing. I admit that our relationship has been very unstable from the beginning.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Now to my love life, I

We fought a lot. And when we fought, we broke up. This on-and-off went on until three months ago when we broke up again. This time around we almost didn’t get back together. It was the thought of losing her that straightened me up.

When we spoke again I told her, “No more games. No more breakups. I want us to take the relationship seriously. Everything we do now is our future.”

She agreed and we started everything afresh. Things were good after we had that talk. We no longer fought as much. On the occasion that we did, we did not break up. It was all very nice and peaceful, then she stopped picking up my calls.

The first time it happened was a month ago. I called her for a whole week, but she didn’t pick up. Rather, she texted me that she would call me back. It was unlike her to miss my calls. Even if she was in the middle of work, she would talk to me. Her sudden unavailability made me suspicious.

I finally heard from her when she came to visit me. She said she has been busy. “Busy with what? Another man?”

“I assure you that there is no other man. You are my one and all. I have just been caught up with some stuff lately, that’s all.” I didn’t believe her.

The next Monday, I called her again, but she didn’t pick up the whole day. In the evening, I kept calling. Finally, a man picked up. “Hello, may I speak to the owner of the phone?” I didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding so I added, “She is my girlfriend.”

“Dede is my girlfriend too,” the man responded, “We’ve been dating for three months now.”

Three months ago was when we got back together after our last breakup. Why did she come to me if she had another man? I had questions but Dede was nowhere to give me answers. I didn’t hear from her for two whole weeks.

When I finally got hold of her on the phone, she told me she accepted the other man’s proposal because I had hurt her deeply during our last fight. She claimed she’s now in love with him. I couldn’t believe it.

Love? How could she love a man who’s over 40 years old and is 17 years older than her?

If she didn’t love me anymore, why was she still with me, giving me attention, and having sex marathons with me? According to the other man, it was difficult to get her to visit him. Which means, until she stopped picking up my calls, I was getting more of her than the other man was.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

Now she wants us to meet somewhere to talk without the man’s knowledge. Why? She accepted my invitation to come to my place to talk but she has yet to show up. When we fix a date, she postpones, what could be the reason?

Am I supposed to accept that the relationship is over and let the other man have her? Or is there a chance I can win her back? I am just trying to understand her behaviour.

—Edudzi

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#SB

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I was about six years old when it started. Those were the years that should have been filled with laughter, safety, and innocence. But instead, I learnt fear. I learnt to keep quiet.

Every time I close my eyes and try to forget, I can’t. Because he was close. He was older. Someone I trusted. Someone who should have known better. But he saw my weakness and used it.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

One day, when I went to bathe and no one was around, he came into the bathroom and asked me to touch him. He touched me too. Sometimes, he took me to his room, asked me to lie down without clothes, and used his body to play with mine. He would ask if I liked it. I didn’t even know what “it” was.

He stole my innocence little by little.

I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t have the words. I didn’t know what the white stuff was. I just knew something felt wrong. But I was too young to speak up. Too scared. He told me never to tell anyone. And I agreed—not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t know what to say.

It went on for about three years. Three years that changed my life before I even knew what life was. When it stopped, I thought I could forget. But I haven’t been able to.

It was only when I grew older that I understood what he had done to me. I learned words like rape, abuse, and virginity. And every time I heard them, it hurt deeply. What confused me most was not knowing if he had entered me or not. I didn’t know if I still had my virginity. I couldn’t go around saying I hadn’t been touched, and it wasn’t just about being a virgin. My pain was that the person who did this to me was my own elder brother.

When I started dating, I was scared of sex. Scared of being asked about virginity. My first boyfriend asked, and I said yes. Because I didn’t really know what sex was, or if what happened to me counted.

Then I met my husband. He is kind and loving. But I was afraid he would leave me if he knew the truth. So I told him I had been raped as a child, but by my brother’s friend. That is the story he knows. When we had sex for the first time, we realized I was still a virgin. We believed that maybe there had been no full penetration. But even with that, the damage was already done. I was still afraid of intimacy.

I want to love my husband fully. I want to be free. But the past lives in my body. Every touch from him reminds me of what I went through. Sometimes, I hope he falls asleep before I come to bed, just so I don’t have to face the fear.

Even now, at almost forty, I feel numb. Touch doesn’t mean much. What should bring joy and closeness brings pain and sometimes tears. My marriage is beautiful in many ways, but the spark between us was taken long ago. Taken by someone who should have protected me.

My mother is alive. Sometimes, I wish I could tell her everything. Just to hear her say, “I’m sorry.” Maybe that would help. But I stay quiet, because I want her to live in peace, even if mine was stolen.

A Man Who Haggles Over The Price Of An Item Is A Red Flag

As for the man who hurt me, life hasn’t been kind to him. But people don’t know what he did, so I’m still expected to treat him well. He is my brother. That makes it hard to be free. If he died today, I wouldn’t cry. He killed a part of me long ago.

This is my story. This is my pain. I survived, but I carry scars. Every day, I try to make peace with the little girl I was and the woman I’ve become.

So forgive me if I’m overprotective of my daughter. If I don’t let her call men “uncle,” or go to sleepovers, or visit homes with boys. My innocence was stolen by my own brother. Tell me, then, who can I truly trust?

—Laughter

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I accepted a friend request from a guy on Facebook about four years ago, but I didn’t pay him much attention. It was roughly five months ago that we started talking. I found out that he lived in my neighbourhood and worked as a presenter at one of the nearby radio stations. The proximity literally brought us close.

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I was single at the time. He said he was single too. And because we lived close, he was constantly asking to see me. We would meet in public spaces and have long conversations. It was fun. I liked getting to know him.

One day while we were talking, he asked if I would like to give him a chance. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

By then, I felt I knew him enough. He had done nothing but make me feel safe. Considering that he worked in the media space, I felt he wouldn’t behave badly toward me. I agreed to date him.

He often asked me to visit his house, but I was not comfortable doing that yet. After a month of dating, I finally decided to go. My first impression of the place wasn’t good. He lived in extreme dirt, as though the house had been abandoned for years. When I asked him about it, he said, “Oh, this place was under renovation so there was no one here. I was living with my uncle temporarily, I just moved back.”

He wanted to have intimacy in that dirt. I said no. The next time I visited him, he asked for it again. I turned him down, “I have never been with a man. I don’t want to do it yet. I want to wait until marriage.” His response was anger. It became a dance between us. Every time he tried to seduce me, I would tell him I wasn’t ready. Then he would get angry and say hurtful things to me. “You are rejecting me because you don’t love me,” he would accuse.

Apart from intimacy, he asked me for money. This guy would go to work, and call to tell me he was hungry so I should order food for him. One day I told him I didn’t have money. He got angry.

Anytime he asked for something and I didn’t give him, he would get upset. Sometimes he asked me for stuff that cost money, and other times he asked for money. He never even asked if I had money to spare. It was as if I was supposed to always have money for his sake, if not then I would have failed as a girlfriend.

I can’t believe I used to send him screenshots of my account balance to prove to him that I truly had nothing.

Two months into the relationship, he wore me down. I gave myself to him. Then I got pregnant.

He asked me to keep it but I wasn’t ready for a child. In the end, we agreed I would get rid of it. I asked him to accompany me to the hospital for a safe procedure. He said he was busy with work.

“You are a nurse so I am sure you know your way around these situations. Handle it yourself.”

I didn’t have the money to pay for the proper medication, so I used an alternative means to do it myself. When I finished I bought myself some blood tonics.

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He promised to send me money, but until today, I haven’t received anything from him. He doesn’t talk to me anymore unless I text him first. If I don’t reach out for a month, he never bothers to check on me.

I’m depressed because of everything he has put me through. He was my first intimate experience, and it ended up traumatising me. I don’t know if I should keep asking him for the money he promised or just let it go. I also don’t know if I should keep texting him since he no longer makes any effort to keep this relationship. I feel so lost and alone.

—Kara

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Louisiana Attorney General Liz Murrill filed a lawsuit last week that calls on the federal government to strike down rules that allow the distribution of abortion drugs without an in-person doctor’s visit. It’s her latest attempt to place restrictions on out-of-state shipments of mifepristone, a medication that used to terminate pregnancies but that also has other life-saving and gynecological uses.

Murrill filed suit Monday against the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in a federal district court in Louisiana. It calls for the agency to reverse regulatory action it took in 2023 in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, allowing doctors to prescribe mifepristone through remote patients visits or—as the lawsuit claims—without any interaction with a medical professional.

“As a consequence, hundreds of unlawful abortions occur every month in Louisiana,” the lawsuit said

A similar case to stop mail-order mifepristone went before the U.S. Supreme Court last year. Justices ruled unanimously that the doctors and medical groups who filed the lawsuit didn’t have legal standing as plaintiffs, and they did not consider the merits of the case.

Joining Louisiana Attorney General Murrill as a plaintiff in the new case is Rosalie Markezich, a Louisiana woman who said her boyfriend coerced her into taking mifepristone he obtained in October 2023 from a California doctor.

Murrill has issued an arrest warrant for the physician, Dr. Remy Coeytaux. She’s the second health-care provider the attorney general has attempted to take into custody to face charges in Louisiana.

The Louisiana Attorney General also wants to prosecute a New York physician, Dr. Margaret Carpenter, who she said shipped abortion drugs to a Baton Rouge-area woman for her pregnant minor daughter. The physician and the girl’s mother were indicted in January for allegedly violating a 2022 Louisiana law that makes it a crime to knowingly cause an abortion through medication.

States where abortion remains legal have thwarted prosecutors with laws that protect medical providers from being prosecuted in states where abortion is banned. Louisiana Attorney General Murrill and 14 other Republican attorneys general have urged Congress to strike down such “shield” laws.

Murrill also supported a first-of-its-kind state law Louisiana approved last year that treats mifepristone and misoprostol, another reproductive-care medication, as Schedule IV controlled substances. The designation requires doctors and medical facilities to follow much stricter storage and dispensing guidelines.

Other uses for the drugs include treating ulcers, severe postpartum hemorrhages, and to aid in the insertion of intrauterine devices and diagnostic hysteroscopies.

Doctors have said the new law has created difficulties for their patients obtaining the drugs from pharmacies for routine gynecological care.

In defense of Louisiana’s Schedule IV law, Murrill labelled these firsthand reports from care providers and patients as attempts from the news media, political organizations, and opposition candidates “to sow confusion and doubt” in order to “further their own financial and/or political agendas.”

\n\n

This story was originally reported by Greg LaRose for Louisiana Illuminator. The Illuminator is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Louisiana Illuminator maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Greg LaRose for questions: info@lailluminator.com.

The post Louisiana Sues Food And Drug Administration To Stop Mailing of Abortion Medication appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In the lead up to her son’s birth, Jacqueline made plans to call 911 for an ambulance to pick her up from her North Florida home and transport her to a hospital about an hour away.

The second-time mom and Guatemalan immigrant, who has lived in the country for a decade, would have relied on her husband to drive her to the hospital. But a few months ago he was deported, leaving Jacqueline and her daughter without the family’s primary source of income, transportation, and support.

One morning in March, Jacqueline said, her partner was pulled over on his way to work when law enforcement officials discovered he didn’t have a valid driver’s license. Jacqueline’s pregnancy was in its early stages. Her husband fought his case from detention for three months before U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) removed him to Guatemala.

“He was deported and I was left behind, thinking, ‘What am I going to do?’” said Jacqueline, who requested that her last name not be published because she lacks permanent legal status. The couple shares an 8-year-old daughter who was born in, and is a citizen of, the United States.

This summer, as she entered the later stages of this pregnancy amid the Trump administration’s turbocharged immigration enforcement, Jacqueline found herself so fearful of being detained that she avoided leaving her home. Her husband’s car sits in the driveway, but there are no signs of him in the small room Jacqueline shares with her daughter. His belongings—tools, clothes, even personal photos—are with him in Guatemala. The only family pictures Jacqueline has are on her phone.

Her partner was the family’s main provider, rotating between picking strawberries or watermelon and packing pine needles for mulch, depending on the season.

Jacqueline struggled to get the most basic items to welcome a baby: Someone gifted her a used carseat and crib, which sit in the packed room along with onesies and other clothing items she’s collected inside a large plastic bag. She’s hoping that a federal assistance program will cover the cost of formula. A baby tub is still on her list.

Medical care in her rural area has been possible only because a small nonprofit organization nearby that provides prenatal care services offered to pay for Ubers so she could continue regular check-ups. Even if she wasn’t behind the wheel, Jacqueline says that just the act of leaving her home feels risky since her husband’s deportation.

“Things got really complicated. He paid our rent—he paid for everything,” she said. “Now, I’m always worried.”

Medical care and support essential to a healthy pregnancy have become harder for people like Jacqueline to obtain following President Donald Trump’s inauguration. Many patients—nervous about encountering immigration officials if they leave their homes, drive on public roads or visit a medical clinic—are skipping virtually all of their pregnancy-related health care. Some are opting to give birth at home with the help of midwives because of the possible presence of ICE at hospitals.

Across the country, medical providers who serve immigrant communities said fewer patients are coming in for prenatal or other pregnancy-related care. As a result, patients are experiencing dangerous complications, advocates and health-care providers told The 19th.

“Fear of ICE is pushing my patients and their families away from the very systems meant to protect their health and their pregnancies,” said Dr. Josie Urbina, an OB-GYN in San Francisco.

In January, Trump rescinded a federal policy that protected designated areas including hospitals, health clinics, and doctors’ offices from immigration raids. ICE has recently targeted patients in hospital maternity wards and on their way home from prenatal visits.

A majority of Americans believe ICE should not be carrying out immigration enforcement at health centers. A new poll from The 19th and SurveyMonkey conducted in mid-September found that most Americans don’t think ICE should be allowed to detain immigrants at hospitals, their workplace, domestic violence shelters, schools, or churches.

Women are more likely to oppose enforcement in these spaces than men. More than two-thirds of women said ICE shouldn’t be allowed to detain immigrants in hospital settings.

Enforcement is only expected to grow as the administration works to meet its ambitious deportation goals. The federal government is pouring more than $170 billion over the next four years into expanding immigration enforcement, the result of Trump’s signature tax-and-spending bill. About $45 billion has been directed to expanding detention facilities; $29.9 billion is to increase ICE activity.

That expansion could put even more births at risk. Approximately 250,000 babies are born every year to immigrants without permanent legal status. Already, research has shown these immigrants, who have higher uninsured rates, are less likely to seek prenatal care and are at risk of worse birth outcomes.

Major medical groups, including the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, World Health Organization, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommend regular prenatal and postpartum care as a key tool to combat pregnancy-related death and infant mortality.

According to the federal Office of Women’s Health, infants born to parents who received no prenatal care are three times more likely to have a low birth weight and five times more likely to die than those born to parents who received regular care.

A CDC analysis published last year found infant mortality rates went up the later families began prenatal care: 4.54 deaths per 100,000 live births for families whose prenatal care began in the first trimester, compared with 10.75 in families whose prenatal care began in the third trimester or who did not receive any at all.

“A lot of patients aren’t going to get help,” said Yenny James, the founder and CEO of Paradigm Doulas in the Dallas-Fort Worth metro.

James said she’s seeing an increasing number of emergency cesarean sections because of untreated gestational diabetes, or preeclampsia—a deadly pregnancy complication—that went unnoticed because of lacking prenatal care.

In Denver, OB-GYN Dr. Rebecca Cohen has delivered multiple babies this year for women who have told her that, because they fear endangering themselves or their families, they have received no prenatal care. Several have given birth to babies with fatal fetal anomalies that were never diagnosed because the women did not receive prenatal ultrasounds.

“They were willing to forgo care—their own health care—but to find out that something was devastatingly wrong with their child is when they feel like maybe they should have risked it,” Cohen said. “There’s a sound of a mother’s wail that anybody who has worked labor and delivery has known, and it will haunt you for the rest of your life. To hear that when it could have been prevented, it is just absolutely devastating.”

Early in her pregnancy, Jacqueline received free care at a local clinic. Shortly after her husband’s detention, she called the office to let them know she likely wouldn’t make her next appointment.

“I told them that I probably wouldn’t be able to make my appointments anymore, well, because I’m really afraid given what happened to my husband. And they offered to help,” she said.

Jacqueline and the nonprofit clinic worked out an arrangement: The day of her appointments, someone at the clinic called an Uber to her home, paid for by the clinic, and let her know when it would arrive so she could be ready.

Many people in her small town have come to rely on a single person who does have a valid driver’s license for transportation. That driver recently brought Jacqueline to an appointment with the local office that manages the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC), which she is relying on for baby formula and food. There were no guarantees that this driver would be available to take her in whenever she goes into labor.

The Biden administration directed ICE not to detain, arrest or take into custody pregnant, postpartum, or breastfeeding people simply for breaking immigration laws, except under “exceptional circumstances.” The Trump administration has not formally reversed that policy. But despite the directive, reports from across the country confirm that ICE has detained numerous pregnant immigrants since Trump took office.

James said that until the Biden guidance is formally rescinded, she will continue to encourage pregnant immigrants to print it out and carry it with them.

“I told my doulas—have them print out this ICE directive, have them keep it with them, so that they know and these agents know that we know our rights, our clients know their rights,” James said.

It’s unclear exactly how many pregnant immigrants are being detained by ICE, or have been arrested by the agency. A May report from the office of Democratic Sen. Dick Durbin found 14 pregnant women in a single Louisiana detention facility at the time of staff’s visit.

Another report out of the office of Democratic Sen. Jon Ossoff published in late July found 14 credible reports of mistreatment of pregnant women in immigrant detention. The report cited an anonymous agency official who said they saw pregnant women sleeping on floors in overcrowded intake cells. The partner of a pregnant woman in federal custody said that she bled for days before she was taken to a hospital, where she miscarried alone. A pregnant detainee who spoke to Ossoff’s office said she repeatedly asked for medical attention and was told to “just drink water.” The office received several reports of clients waiting weeks to see a doctor, and that sometimes scheduled appointments were canceled. ICE has disputed the report.

“Pregnant women receive regular prenatal visits, mental health services, nutritional support, and accommodations aligned with community standards of care. Detention of pregnant women is rare and has elevated oversight and review. No pregnant woman has been forced to sleep on the floor,” ICE said in a statement posted on their website.

ICE did not respond to a request for comment.

Fear of being detained is a major contributor of stress for pregnant immigrants. Research shows that even when pregnant patients do receive medical care, prenatal stress puts many at greater risk of complicated births and poor outcomes, including premature birth and low infant birth weight. Babies born after an immigration raid are at a 24 percent higher risk of low birth weight, according to one study.

Monica, 38, is expecting her fourth child in November. The Tucson resident, who requested that her last name not be published out of fear of being detained, has lived in the United States for two decades but has no legal immigration status.

This pregnancy has been unlike the others, she said: While Monica has continued with her prenatal care appointments, her anxiety levels about her immigration situation have colored her experience. Her other children, who are in their teens, are U.S. citizens but grappling with the stress of their parents’ situation. Her husband also doesn’t have authorization to live in the country.

“We try to be out and about much less, and to take precautions,” she said. “Whenever we do leave the house, we have it in the back of our minds.”

Monica said she has seen reports of ICE being allowed inside hospitals, and she is worried about facing immigration officers while or following her birth. Her plan is to have her partner and a group of friends at the hospital to make sure she’s never alone.

“My biggest fear is going to the hospital,” she said.

Stress like Monica’s makes pregnancy more dangerous.

“In our hospital, every doctor I’ve talked to—and these are doctors that have been there 20 years—all are saying these past six months they’ve seen worse obstetrics outcomes than ever in their career,” Dr. Parker Duncan Diaz, a family physician in Santa Rosa, California, whose clinic mostly cares for Latinx patients. That’s included more preterm labor and more pregnant patients with severe hypertension.

“I don’t know what’s causing it, but my bias is that it is the impact of this horribly toxic stress environment,” he added, specifically noting the stress caused by the threat of immigration enforcement.

In recent months, Dr. Caitlin Bernard, an Indiana-based OB-GYN, has seen a number of pregnant patients seeking emergency attention who have not received any prenatal health care. One was 31 weeks, approaching the end of her pregnancy. Another was more than 20 weeks pregnant when she came to Bernard’s office, having developed complications from a molar pregnancy—a rare condition that means a healthy birth is impossible and that without early treatment can result in vaginal bleeding, thyroid problems, and even cancer.

“Anytime you’re not able to access that early prenatal care, we do see complications with that,” she said. “And many of these things can absolutely be life-threatening for both the moms and the babies.”

Dr. Daisy Leon-Martinez, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist in San Francisco, said she now regularly cares for patients in her labor and delivery ward who have been transferred to her hospital because of newly-developed pregnancy complications. These are often their first doctors’ visits since becoming pregnant. Many of those patients have told her that they did not want to seek prenatal care for fear of encountering immigration officials.

During regular visits, she added, she has advised people with pregnancy complications that they would be best served by a hospital stay—only to be told that her patients no longer feel safe going to the hospital.

The current enforcement environment is challenging immigrant advocates, who are continuing to encourage immigrants to seek appropriate medical care while acknowledging that doing so is increasingly risky.

Lupe Rodríguez, the executive director of the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Justice, said her organization is urging pregnant immigrants to seek the health care that they need, and to be proactive about making plans for themselves and their families in the event that they are detained.

“We can’t know for certain about any given [health care center] whether or not it’s going to be safe. One of the things that we’ve been seeing is leadership at some of these health centers—big hospitals and clinics—have said that they will provide the kind of protection that folks need, that they don’t want folks to be afraid of care,” Rodriguez said.

While those statements signal the intentions of a hospital’s leadership, Rodriguez said, “we still know that there are individuals within some of those care centers that are part of the reporting mechanism or are intimidating people.”

Jacqueline approached the last days of her pregnancy hopeful that the place she had chosen—a large university hospital that workers at her local clinic recommended—would be a safe place for her to give birth.

One night at the end of September, when labor pains grew too intense, she called for an ambulance and made it to the hospital. When she got there, she asked her providers if there were any ICE agents near the building. She had heard of a man at a local hospital being detained after having surgery. They told her there were none they were aware of.

She went on to deliver her baby under general anesthesia after a long, difficult labor. “I didn’t even hear him cry when they pulled him out,” she said. Her only relative left in the area was taking care of her daughter, so she recovered alone at the hospital for five days before heading home in an Uber that a social worker procured for her and her son.

“If my husband was here, he would have been there with me at the hospital,” Jacqueline said while recovering at home. “He would be here taking care of me, of us. I wouldn’t be worried about the things I still want to get for the baby.”

The post ICE Fears Put Pregnant Immigrants And Their Babies At Risk appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In this episode of Boom! Lawyered, Imani and Jess explain the arguments and what’s at stake in Chiles v. Salazar, the case challenging Colorado’s ban on conversion therapy practices.

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Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post Conversion Therapy Bans Head To SCOTUS (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Conversion, Therapy, Bans, Head, SCOTUS, Podcast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/BL-S09-Ep41-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/09/scotus-conversion-therapy-ban-colorado/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-15 05:00:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "97711", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Kavanaugh Voted To Overturn ‘Roe’—But His Words Could End Up Helping to Protect Abortion Access", "title_slug": "kavanaugh-voted-to-overturn-roebut-his-words-could-end-up-helping-to-protect-abortion-access", "title_hash": "aa97fad584e8f6170813b2eb972b142c", "summary": "Opinion: Abortion advocates should weaponize the Supreme Court justice's Dobbs decision to ensure patients can still get out-of-state reproductive health care. \nThe post Kavanaugh Voted To Overturn ‘Roe’—But His Words Could End Up Helping to Protect Abortion Access appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The Supreme Court is back in session for its 2025-2026 term, but many people are still dealing with the fallout of its past rulings—namely, dozens of vague abortion restrictions enacted after the justices overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022. These laws contain confusing dictates to doctors and patients that make them dangerous, even deadly.

In states with complete bans, pregnant people who want abortions have been forced to travel elsewhere or get pills by mail from doctors in states where shield laws protect providers from criminal and civil prosecution.

Meanwhile, anti-abortion states like Texas and Louisiana are trying to criminalize those doctors—and their patients. For advocates hoping to challenge such laws, today’s right-leaning judiciary presents a challenging legal landscape.

But there’s hope. I’m a legal historian, and I think I’ve dug up a promising argument in an unlikely place: Dobbs v. Jackson—the very same 2022 Supreme Court case that ended federal abortion protections in the U.S.

Travel for abortion? Kavanaugh could say yes

The legal landscape around out-of-state abortion care is messy.

In addition to attacks on shield laws, Louisiana and at least three other states have sued to ban the mailing of abortion medication. Idaho has an “abortion trafficking” law that outlaws helping a minor to travel across state lines for an abortion. Texans can’t drive through some parts of their state en route to get an out-of-state abortion.

The lead I found in Dobbs comes not from one of the liberal justices’ dissents but from Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s concurring opinion. Kavanaugh chose to write an entirely separate opinion, making an argument to preserve the constitutional right to interstate travel very plainly.

“[M]ay a State bar a resident of that State from traveling to another State to obtain an abortion?” Kavanaugh asked. “In my view, the answer is no based on the constitutional right to interstate travel.”

I suspect many readers are rolling their eyes at the thought of taking a conservative justice at his word. Clarence Thomas has questioned the very idea of relying on precedent, and the Court’s handling of Trump administration cases has drawn criticism from federal judges.

But under the circumstances, I think it foolish to exclude any legal argument from the pro-choice arsenal, and Kavanaugh has offered one up.

Here’s my thinking:

Legally speaking, abortion care is already considered commerce because it involves payment for services rendered. It becomes interstate commerce when doctors prescribe abortion pills across state lines or when people travel to another state for abortion care.

As such, travel for abortion care pretty clearly fits under the umbrella of the protection of interstate travel. In theory, then, lawyers looking to protect access to abortion across state lines could challenge travel bans and prosecutions of out-of-state doctors based on the right to interstate travel. And they could use Kavanaugh’s words to bolster their case.

Kavanaugh has expressed that he sees interstate travel as a fundamental right under the Constitution. Even though this right is not explicitly outlined in the document, many cases support this view.

A general right to travel was first acknowledged in 1849 when a group of cases known as The Passenger Cases found state laws requiring taxes for entry were unconstitutional. In 1920, the Supreme Court ruled in United States v. Wheeler that citizens have “the fundamental right … to move at will from place to place” and deemed any state law limiting interstate travel—for their residents or anyone else—discriminatory.

United States v. Guest reaffirmed the constitutional right to interstate travel in 1966, and three years later the Supreme Court determined it to be a “fundamental” right, meaning any attempt to curb it requires a higher level of legal scrutiny.

Legally, the precedent is there. When considering a challenge to a restrictive abortion law, then, the question facing judges would be: Does this law discriminate against interstate commerce? If so, it’s patently invalid.

If they find that an anti-abortion law isn’t discriminatory under the commerce clause, courts will then assess it against a different precedent, set by Pike v. Bruce Church, Inc. in 1970: Does this law impose a burden on interstate commerce that is “clearly excessive” compared to the local benefits? If so, that law would be invalid.

This is the kind of case that could reach the Supreme Court.

How the justices could vote

Beyond Kavanaugh’s concurrence in Dobbs, his dissent in another recent case, National Pork Producers Council v. Ross, communicates his concern for protecting interstate commerce.

National Pork Producers, from 2023, is a confusing decision; it consists of seven distinct written opinions. But the takeaway is a 5-4 ruling that a California law barring the sale of pork raised in inhumane conditions did not violate the interstate commerce clause, and could therefore stand.

Kavanaugh and three other justices—Chief Justice John Roberts, Samuel Alito, and Ketanji Brown Jackson—dissented, with varied reasoning for doing so.

What does any of this have to do with abortion rights?

The connection comes here: Roberts argued that California’s law regulating the sale of pork created a substantial burden on interstate commerce because it required a change in how pigs were raised to be sold as pork.

Kavanaugh added in his own dissent that California’s law “has attempted, in essence, to unilaterally impose its moral and policy preferences for pig farming and pork production on the rest of the nation.”

Kavanaugh then points out that the imposition of moral preferences might not stop at pork sales but extend to abortion care: What, Kavanaugh asks, if a “state law prohibits ‘the retail sale of goods from producers that do not pay for employees’ birth control or abortions’ (or alternatively, that do pay for employees’ birth control or abortions)?”

Many pro-choice scholars have argued that the pork decision will make it harder to protect abortion access across state lines. They are concerned that it suggests the dormant commerce clause doesn’t impose many limits on morality-based state laws.

For example, if Missouri not only banned abortion but also banned traveling to neighboring Illinois to get an abortion, anti-abortion lawyers could argue that interstate travel and commerce aren’t implicated because National Pork Producers didn’t find a problem with imposing morality-based policy in this case. And, of course, the U.S. no longer has a national right to abortion.

I have a different takeaway.

This case was not decided along partisan lines. The majority in the California pork case consisted of two liberal justices and three conservatives; the dissenters were also ideologically mixed.

Should a case challenging state laws barring abortion access across state lines reach the Supreme Court, it’s possible that some of the conservative justices might rule in the petitioners’ favor.

Alito would almost surely switch sides to uphold a state law restricting abortion, even if that law also burdened interstate commerce. But I think Kavanaugh might stay the course on these particular grounds. The Chief Justice looks swayable, too, based on his concurring opinion in Dobbs and dissent in National Pork Producers.

Roberts joined the majority in Dobbs in upholding Mississippi’s 15-week abortion ban but claimed in his concurring opinion that he only wanted to throw out the “viability standard” of Roe v. Wade—not trash all abortion protections. Practically speaking, that would just be a less extreme version of overturning Roe.

Still, his nod to judicial restraint in Dobbs is noteworthy. That, combined with Roberts’ dissent in National Pork Producers—on the basis of not burdening interstate commerce—suggests that there’s an opening to protect abortion access across state lines on those grounds at the Supreme Court.

All three of the Court’s liberal justices can very likely be counted on to vote to protect abortion access in any case. I believe this is true even of Kagan and Sotomayor, who sided with the conservatives on interstate commerce in National Pork Producers. When abortion is at the center of the case, both have consistently chosen to protect abortion rights.

Three plus Kavanaugh and Roberts makes five—enough to win a Supreme Court case protecting abortion on the grounds of interstate travel and commerce.

Such a ruling wouldn’t strike down state-level abortion bans. But it might ensure that residents of those states can still access legal abortion care elsewhere.

A history book as the playbook

Other scholars are less sure of the weight of Kavanaugh’s concurrence in Dobbs, and of the general usefulness of relying on interstate commerce and travel protections to achieve an end of abortion protections.

But this wouldn’t be the first time a concurring opinion was used as precedent or was necessary to clarify some aspect of a majority opinion.

In 1927 the Supreme Court upheld Anita Whitney’s conviction for speech that presented a “clear and present danger.” Whitney had given a fundraising speech for the California Labor Party, and the state considered it an incitement to violent communism. Justice Louis Brandeis concurred with the majority, but with reservations about the implications for muzzling free speech.

In his concurrence, Brandeis argued that “the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence.” His argument calling for a higher standard for restricting speech was mostly adopted in Brandenburg v. Ohio in 1969.

Around the same time, in Katz v. United States, the Supreme Court ruled that FBI recordings of public telephone conversations were inadmissible as evidence without a warrant. However, John Marshall Harlan II’s concurring opinion created the “reasonable expectation of privacy” standard now regularly used when determining if evidence is admissible under the Fourth Amendment.

History shows that concurrent opinions can be used to either constrain or clarify the Court’s majority opinion. So why wouldn’t we use Kavanaugh’s own argument to protect abortion access?

The post Kavanaugh Voted To Overturn ‘Roe’—But His Words Could End Up Helping to Protect Abortion Access appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Ever since Donald Trump swaggered back into the White House and made it clear—again—that the rule of law doesn’t apply to him, I’ve heard the same chorus on repeat. White friends, colleagues, commentators, and even lawmakers clutching their pearls like it’s a new national pastime:

‘This isn’t who we are.’

‘I didn’t have this on my bingo card.’

‘I never imagined this could happen here.’

To be fair, the horrors have been an onslaught. Mass deportations, abortion bans, family separations, ICE goons kidnapping American citizens—often with extreme violence—purges of civil servants, and open threats of violence against anyone who won’t fall in line. If you’ve lived comfortably in this country so far without ever having to confront that the systems unleashing these horrors were built for you, it’s somewhat understandable that you’d be baffled.

Still, the constant expressions of “shock” seem performative to me—a kind of political Groundhog Day where white America wakes up over and over again surprised that the system the government created to protect them is now being used by someone who doesn’t care about protecting anyone, including them.

But here’s the thing: for Black people, for Indigenous people, for anyone who has lived outside the warm glow of American exceptionalism, that shock doesn’t land. Because the truth is, this is who America has always been.

The exhaustion comes not just from surviving in a country built on racial violence and systemic oppression, but from having to watch white America weaponize its own ignorance. These people act like the ground is suddenly shifting under their feet when really, the ground has always been unsteady for everyone else. The exhaustion comes from waiting and wondering if white folks will ever catch up.

When white people say, ‘This isn’t who we are,’ what they really mean is: ‘This isn’t the America I thought I lived in.’

But that version of America—the one where everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness—has always been fiction.

\n\n

\n\n\n

This is who ‘we’ are

The founding of this country cannot be disentangled from the violence towards Black and indigenous people that colonizers meted out all the while drafting lofty documents about all men being created equal.

This country would not exist if Black women had not birthed it from their wombs on the blood-soaked earth of Native people. Enslavement, lynching, Jim Crow, genocide, the prison industrial complex aren’t footnotes in American history. They’re the main text. Trump isn’t some un-American aberration. He’s the logical next chapter.

And those insisting on treating his rise as shocking and unknowable erase the generations of people who’ve already lived through white authoritarianism in one form or another.

Then there’s the “not on my bingo card” crowd. That one really grates on my nerves. It’s basically just white privilege dressed up as quippy self-awareness. The reason it wasn’t on your bingo card is because you never had to think about it. The guardrails of democracy always seemed solid because those guardrails were constructed for you. You never had to worry if your vote would count, or if calling the police would make things worse, or if the law would treat you like a threat before it treated you like a person.

The disbelief that Trump could rise in America isn’t a cutesy personality trait; it’s a confession. A confession that you weren’t listening when Black and Indigenous people tried to tell you what this country is.

Maybe it seems unfair to criticize the white people who are becoming woke (in the classic, “conscious” sense of the term, not in MAGA’s derogatory usage). Maybe I should just hope “this isn’t who we are” might lead to the sort of outrage that will get white people to resist in earnest.

Strategic ignorance

But the thing is: Ignorance isn’t always innocent. A lot of the time, it’s strategic.

Take the murder of George Floyd in 2020. It was treated as a “wake-up call” for much of white America, as if the alarm hadn’t been blaring for years. Since the killings of Eric Garner and Michael Brown in the summer of 2014 sparked the #BlackLivesMatter movement, Black activists and allies have flooded the streets, filled social media timelines, and forced conversations about police brutality into every corner of public life, on- and offline.

White ignorance doesn’t persist because there’s a lack of information—it persists because there’s a refusal to engage with it. The videos, the protests, and the hashtags have all been there since before 2012, when 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was shot dead in the street by a neighbor. They were impossible to miss unless you wanted to miss them. Because once you admit you knew and did nothing about it, you’d have to admit you were fine with it. You have to admit complicity.

It’s easier to feign shock than to grapple with what it means to benefit from systems that oppress and kill with impunity. That’s how white ignorance gets wielded like a shield. It protects white comfort and avoids white guilt.

The legacy media plays right along—devoting endless hours to the “anxieties” of Trump voters while sidelining the voices of the people who predicted this exact moment years ago. Or writing op-eds mourning a white nationalist as doing politics the right way, and then acting brand new when the Black man you respect suggests maybe you should have kept quiet. White astonishment gets top billing, while Black warnings get relegated to the fine print.

And it’s exhausting. Black people are tired. Not metaphorically tired—actually tired.

The kind of tired that shows up as dark circles under our eyes from doomscrolling another news alert that says “unprecedented” when it’s anything but. The kind of tired that makes you throw your phone across the room mid-segment because you can’t listen to one more white pundit ask, in earnest, how we got here. The kind of tired that turns every group chat into a mix of gallows humor and emotional triage.

The question of ‘how did we get here’ is an earnest one. The exhaustion comes when white questioners refuse to listen to the people who have already lived under the boot of authoritarianism. Listening means treating Black and Indigenous analysis as expertise—not as perspective that should give way to white people’s flagging analysis. Listening means recognizing that the authoritarian threat isn’t somehow “un-American.” Honesty demands more than these tired, patriotic mantras.

Authoritarianism is as American as slavery, as internment camps, as police brutality, as voter suppression. To fight it, white people have to stop pretending government oppression arrived overnight and start dismantling the systems that have been incubating it all along.

Black people can’t do it alone. There aren’t enough of us. We need white people to catch up and step up, and to do that they must center the voices of the people who’ve survived those systems the longest. That means moving from disbelief to solidarity, from surprise to action.

Black and Indigenous people have always known the stakes. The question is whether white America is finally ready to stop feigning ignorance, face what it already knows, and do the uncomfortable work of fixing it.

The post White People’s Performative Ignorance Is Exhausting—Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Men notice more than they admit. Sometimes it’s…", "content": "It’s never just the look, it’s the energy behind it. Men notice more than they admit. Sometimes it’s…", "keywords": ", Unspoken, Female, Gestures, That, Can, Drive, Man, Crazy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/unspoken-e1759958014987.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-unspoken-female-gestures-that-can-drive-a-man-crazy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:18:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96505", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Things Men Do in Bed That Women Absolutely Hate", "title_slug": "10-things-men-do-in-bed-that-women-absolutely-hate", "title_hash": "f1b9aa246e9626730646e899b46413e9", "summary": "Let’s be real for a second, great intimacy isn’t about performance, it’s about connection. But somewhere between confidence…", "content": "Let’s be real for a second, great intimacy isn’t about performance, it’s about connection. But somewhere between confidence…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, Bed, That, Women, Absolutely, Hate", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/hate.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-things-men-do-in-bed-that-women-absolutely-hate/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:18:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96502", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Erections Work", "title_slug": "how-erections-work", "title_hash": "9b842632f08e3dfd1a5e44d30c7d9024", "summary": "You probably don’t remember the first time that you got an erection. \r\nThat’s because it almost certainly happened when you were an infant. Infant males start getting erections at an early age, as their nervous systems develop. Most will also play with themselves and may even engage in masturbation-type behavior. It’s all part of developmental discovery, and is considered completely normal and healthy.\r\nSome parents, not knowing this, freak out and worry that their kids are becoming sexual at too early of an age. They may unintentionally shame their sons, which can lead them to have some toxic feelings about sex, masturbation, and their bodies.\r\nRELATED: How to Conquer Feelings of Sexual Shame \r\nWhile shaming boys for getting erections and playing with their penises is to be avoided, as boys get a little older, it’s important to establish boundaries in terms of where and when it’s appropriate to play with oneself — for example, no masturbating at the dinner table.\r\nBy adolescence, most", "content": "You probably don’t remember the first time that you got an erection. \r\nThat’s because it almost certainly happened when you were an infant. Infant males start getting erections at an early age, as their nervous systems develop. Most will also play with themselves and may even engage in masturbation-type behavior. It’s all part of developmental discovery, and is considered completely normal and healthy.\r\nSome parents, not knowing this, freak out and worry that their kids are becoming sexual at too early of an age. They may unintentionally shame their sons, which can lead them to have some toxic feelings about sex, masturbation, and their bodies.\r\nRELATED: How to Conquer Feelings of Sexual Shame \r\nWhile shaming boys for getting erections and playing with their penises is to be avoided, as boys get a little older, it’s important to establish boundaries in terms of where and when it’s appropriate to play with oneself — for example, no masturbating at the dinner table.\r\nBy adolescence, most boys become well aware that their dicks get hard and that stimulation feels good. It’s usually around puberty that most guys start masturbating to get off. It’s also around that time that spontaneous boners become a thing.\r\nMany guys have traumatic memories of spontaneous erections happening at the most embarrassing times, like in class, on the bus, or hanging out at the swimming pool. It’s pretty much a universal experience. These unexpected erections can be the result of random nervous system activity, and can also be due to unnoticed sexual arousal (i.e., horniness).\r\nRELATED: How Brain Chemicals Impact Your Sex Life \r\nBut while most guys have spent a lot of time thinking about their erections, they might not know much about how and why they happen — so I'm going to clear all that up for you. \r\n\r\nWhy Do Men Get Erections?\r\n\r\nMany species of animals get erections. Humans belong to the order Primates, and all primates get erections. However, humans are one of the few species that don’t have bones in their penises (despite the fact that we often call erections ‘boners’).\r\nErections have developed over evolutionary history as a really good sperm-depositing tool. They allow for sperm to be shot deep into the vagina, maximizing the likelihood of pregnancy occurring.\r\nIt just so happens that erections, being external, also allow for easy access for pleasurable stimulation, either on one’s own, or with a partner. Some people have gone so far as to suggest that there’s an evolutionary reason why humans’ hands perfectly reach the groin area.\r\n\r\nWhat Causes Erections to Happen?\r\n\r\nErections can result simply from touching the penis, even if the brain doesn’t notice. \r\nThis is due to a reflex loop near the bottom of the spine. Nerve endings in the penis sense touch, and the resulting signal is sent to the spine through a set of nerves. The signal gets noticed in the spine, and then another set of nerves carry that processed signal back to the penis. That processed signal leads to an erection.\r\nRELATED: A True Story of Dealing With Erectile Difficulties \r\nThis reflex reaction can happen without awareness, which is one of the reasons guys get what feel like surprise erections. If the brain does notice, though, it can exert some control. This ability to control erections varies across men, and depends on several factors.\r\nWhile erections can be purely reflexive, the main way in which they happen is through the experience of being turned on (i.e., sexually aroused). When a guy gets turned on, his brain sends signals to his penis to get hard. For this reason, the hardness of a guy’s dick is a pretty good barometer of how aroused he is.\r\nRELATED: How to Get Harder Erections \r\nMany things can lead a person to be turned on. For example, noticing someone sexually attractive, fantasizing, and watching porn usually elicit sexual arousal, and as a result, erections. Physical stimulation of the penis can also increase sexual arousal, and therefore erections.\r\n\r\nWhat Is the Erection Mechanism?\r\n\r\nErections are the result of a complex process that primarily involves the body’s nervous system (your brain and nerves) and circulatory system (your heart and blood). To understand how erections work, you need to know some basics about both systems.\r\nThe Nervous System’s Impact on Erections\r\nThere are two parts to the nervous system that run throughout the body. The first is the somatic nervous system, which gives us conscious control over our skeletal muscles. So, for example, say you want to lift up an apple with your arm. You think about it and do it. You are able to consciously make your arm lift the apple. The somatic nervous system isn’t really involved in erections.\r\nRELATED: How to Treat Your Erectile Dysfunction \r\nThe other nervous system is the autonomic nervous system. It controls our internal organs, and affects things like heart rate, digestion, breathing, and reproduction. With exception of breathing, the autonomic nervous system isn’t normally something that we can consciously control unless we learn to. The autonomic nervous system plays a crucial role in erections.\r\nThere are two branches that make up the autonomic nervous system: the sympathetic branch and the parasympathetic branch.\r\nRELATED: The Best Herbal Viagras and Other Natural ED Cures\r\nThe sympathetic branch is primarily responsible for our fight-or-flight response. When we’re faced with a threat, either real or perceived, the sympathetic branch prepares us for action. It gets us ready to deal with the threat by fighting or running away, which ultimately will keep us safe.\r\nArousal of the sympathetic branch leads to things like increased heart rate and breathing rate, and dilation of our pupils. The fight-or-flight system responds to psychological or emotional threat in the same way. When the fight or flight system is activated, we feel fear, which is at the core of anxiety. People feel anxious in response to physical or psychological threat.\r\nWhen we feel emotional arousal, it is the sympathetic branch of the autonomic system getting all fired up. In the context of sex, ejaculation is the result of sympathetic branch arousal. If sufficient arousal is achieved, you'll ejaculate semen.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Semen \r\nThe parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system is active when we are safe and at rest. It is responsible for things like digestion. It’s also responsible for erections.\r\nThe parasympathetic branch and the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system are complementary, so when one is more fired up, the other is usually less so. \r\nThis makes sense. If you’re fighting off a saber-tooth tiger, you don’t want to be wasting energy digesting your wooly-mammoth burger or trying to get an erection. Ideally, we spend more of our time in the parasympathetic zone; being in a constant state of sympathetic arousal is hard on the body, and is associated with chronic stress.\r\nRELATED: The Best Supplements for Sex\r\nThe Circulatory System’s Impact on Erections\r\nNow for the circulatory system: Arteries are blood vessels that carry oxygenated blood from the lungs via the heart to feed the tissues of the body; veins are blood vessels that carry deoxygenated blood back to the lungs to be oxygenated.\r\nThe walls of the arteries are lined with smooth muscle tissue, which can contract to make the diameter of the arteries smaller, or relax to make the diameter larger. This process is essential for erections to happen.\r\nRELATED: The 5 Foods That Kill Your Erection\r\nWithin the penis are two long tubes of spongy tissue that run the length of the penis. These tubes are called the corpus cavernosa. They are highly vascularized, which means that they’re full of blood vessels. A taut membrane surrounds the spongy tissue within each corpora cavernosa, kind of like a spongy hot dog.\r\nWhen the penis is stimulated or a guy gets turned on, the parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system sends signals to the artery walls in the penis. These signals kick off a process that relaxes the smooth muscles in the walls of the arteries, increasing their diameter. \r\nThis process does not happen in the veins. As a result, more blood flows into the penis, and the amount flowing out remains unchanged. This leads to a net increase of blood in the penis. The blood fills up the spongy tissue of the corpus cavernosum, and pushes against the taut outer membrane. \r\nRELATED: How a Cock Ring Can Help Your Erections \r\nAs pressure increases, an erection begins to happen via hydraulic pressure. The increasing pressure also forces shut the veins, further reducing blood flow out of the penis. This enhances the erection process. \r\n\r\nWhy Men Sometimes Lose Erections\r\n\r\nAnything that interferes with sexual arousal and/or the physiological process that causes erections can be a boner-killer.\r\nMany men, especially older men with cardiovascular problems, have difficulties with erections, or erectile dysfunction. This is largely a ‘plumbing’ issue — the physiological process required for erections stops working properly. In other words, not enough blood gets into and stays in the penis. \r\nFor these men, erectile dysfunction drugs such as Viagra and Cialis can be helpful, as they amplify the erection process. But sexual arousal is still required. That’s why a guy can take a pill but not get an erection until he and his partner start getting intimate. Sexual arousal is needed to kick off the physiological erection process.\r\nLarge quantities of alcohol, some recreational drugs, and many medications can also negatively impact the physiological process necessary for erections. \r\nRELATED: Understanding Alcohol’s Impact on Your Erection\r\nHowever, when you hear of young guys struggling with erection difficulties, the culprit is almost always anxiety.\r\nAnxiety is an emotional and physical response to real or perceived threat. The threat can be physical or psychological. \r\nIn the context of sex and sexual performance, it’s psychological.\r\nHere is a common example of the chain of anxious thoughts that some guys have when it comes to erections and sex:\r\n\r\n“What if I can’t get/keep it up?”“If I can’t get/keep it up, I won’t be able to have penetrative sex.”“I need to be able to have penetrative sex for this experience to be good.”“If I can’t have penetrative sex, my partner will be disappointed.”“My partner will judge me.”“I’m a failure as a sex partner.”“I’m a failure as a man.”“My partner will leave me or seek sex elsewhere.”\r\n\r\nYou can see how this chain of thoughts is based on perceived threat to the guy’s sense of being a good sex partner, his masculinity, and his ability to keep a partner. It’s highly anxiety-provoking.\r\nAs anxiety increases, it interferes with erections in two ways.\r\nFirst, anxiety is a distraction from what is sexually arousing. When a guy gets caught up in anxious thoughts about performance, all his mental resources get chewed up managing his fearful thoughts. This means that he stops focusing on the sensory and emotional experiences that heighten and maintain sexual arousal. \r\nFor example, he may stop noticing the chemistry between him and his partner, the sensation of being physically stimulated, how visually appealing he finds his partner, and the sounds and smells that go along with sex. \r\nIn other words, he becomes trapped in his head and loses touch with the sexual experience that he’s trying to enjoy.\r\nSecond, anxiety interferes with activation of the parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system, which is required for the physiological erection process to happen. \r\nAs the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system becomes active in response to psychological threat, parasympathetic activity drops. And then so do erections.\r\nRELATED: Why Men Lose Their Erections During Sex \r\nThe relationship between anxiety and erections is particularly cruel. Unlike other types of anxiety, there is a direct physiological impact that makes it difficult for a guy to do what it is that he wants (i.e., have penetrative sex). \r\nA person can be anxious about flying and still fly, about public speaking and still get up in front of an audience and speak, and about an exam and still write the exam. The same isn’t true about anxiety and erections. \r\nHaving said that, there are many ways to have an awesome sexual experience that don’t require an erection.\r\nRELATED: Why Every Guy Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex \r\nThe good news is that erection difficulties due to anxiety are not permanent. Some guys manage to get over it themselves, usually with the help of understanding partners. Others may need to seek the help of a psychologist or therapist. \r\nThe same tools that are helpful in managing non-sexual anxiety work for performance anxiety. It’s simply a matter of learning them and putting them into action. Once that happens, it’s back to having great, worry-free sex.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nThe Best Cock Rings to Help Your ErectionsThe Average Length and Girth of an Erect Penis, RevealedExercises to Try Out for Stronger Erections", "keywords": "How, Erections, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/how-erections-work/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1759938560.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/how-erections-work.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:18:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96503", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Prime Big Deal Days Spotlight: Sony BRAVIA 5 75-Inch TV", "title_slug": "prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-sony-bravia-5-75-inch-tv", "title_hash": "a3823f551f64e7ca2d8bf91a74f393c4", "summary": "Introducing the New Centerpiece to Your Home Theater Setup, Now 30% Off", "content": "\"Go big or go home,\" right? That might not be true for everything, but for TV shopping it's a pretty good rule to follow, especially if you want to avoid buyer's remorse. Not too long ago, 65 inches was the benchmark for \"big\" in TV land, but 75 is definitely the new 65, so if you're looking to upgrade your movie or sports watching experience, consider this your size sweet spot.\r\nThankfully, on Amazon's Big Deal Days, you can enjoy some serious discounts on extra-large TVs, like this Sony BRAVIA 5, currently 30% off its usual retail price. \r\nRELATED: Prime Big Deal Days: Tech Deals\r\nWhether you're a gamer, a movie fanatic or just want to be able to host the next neighborhood watch party, this 75-inch monster is guaranteed to earn plaudits from your friends and family.\r\nSony BRAVIA 5 75-Inch TV\r\n\r\nSony's BRAVIA lineup of TVs have long been synonymous with viewing excellence, and the BRAVIA 5 is no exception, offering 4K resolution powered by mini LED technology, native support for Dolby Vision/Atmos, and a blazing fast 120hz refresh rate, especially optimized for PlayStation 5 owners but still excellent for other gaming platforms, including PC.\r\nStreamers will especially appreciate this smart TV's support for every major streaming service, as well as the included SONY PICTURES CORE app, which can unlock access to the IMAX Enhanced collection of movies, perfect for showing off all of your newfound screen real estate. \r\nBrightness, viewing angles and color accuracy are all also excellent, with the Mini LEDs operating in tandem with Sony's XR Triluminos Pro technology to deliver billions of individual colors, ensuring you get the most faithful image possible, whatever you're watching. \r\nAdd to that built-in support for voice control and easy Bluetooth pairing with your smartphone and you have one of the most livable big-screen TVs on the market, all for under $1,500 while supplies last.\r\n$1,999.99 $1,398 at Amazon.com\r\nShop more Prime Big Deal Days deals and stack your savings by exploring our coverage of Amazon's biggest sale event of the year.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nPrime Day: Best Grooming DealsPrime Day: Best Fashion DealsPrime Day: Best Fitness Deals", "keywords": "Prime, Big, Deal, Days, Spotlight:, Sony, BRAVIA, 75-Inch", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/tech-deals/prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-sony-bravia-5-75-inch-tv/prime-day-2025-2x1-1759928585.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/tech-deals/prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-sony-bravia-5-75-inch-tv.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:18:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96501", "lang_id": "1", "title": "X-Chair X-Tech Executive Review", "title_slug": "x-chair-x-tech-executive-review", "title_hash": "09803f9c9e6836dc1ae037abd2604a8f", "summary": "Do Your Back a Solid and Upgrade Your Daily Sitting Experience With the X-Tech Executive", "content": "It’s no secret that we spend a significant amount of our lifetimes in a seated position. Between office work, commuting, and watching our favorite television shows and movies, Americans spend an estimated eight hours a day sitting down, and while there are all kinds of ways we can counteract that, from taking regular breaks to incorporating exercise into our lives, the truth is it’s also an inescapable part of modern life, in much the same way that we spend similar amounts of time asleep. \r\nBut while we’ve long caught on to the importance of a good mattress, too many people still spend their work time sitting in cheaply made, posture-destroying desk chairs. Not only is the wrong chair likely going to be uncomfortable, especially over prolonged periods of use, it can also contribute to common workplace injuries like chronic back and neck pain and even carpal tunnel syndrome.\r\nThat’s why we’ve fallen in love with X-Chair’s X-Tech Executive, an ergonomic office chair that manages to deliver superior comfort and performance without sacrificing its good looks. \r\n\r\nCustomizing Your X-Tech Executive Chair\r\n\r\nThe first thing you’ll notice about the X-Tech Executive is just how customizable it is, with 11 different color combinations on the chair’s body, four or five different wheel color options (depending on whether you opt for locking or non-locking wheels), and some critical upgrade options that are very worth considering, including a heating, cooling and massaging pack localized to the lumbar support area of the chair (more on that later) and upgraded, pivoting arm rests. \r\nThere’s even a handy augmented reality screen that allows you to view all of your customizations in real time, panning, zooming and rotating the chair in a virtual version of your own office, so you can more easily match the chair’s aesthetics to your space.\r\n\r\nUnboxing & Assembly\r\n\r\nWhen your X-Chair arrives, it comes extremely well packaged in nested cardboard boxes, with plenty of protective bubble wrap and inflated plastic protecting the chair’s most delicate components. Best of all, the assembly tools and necessary screws are provided on a single cardboard sheet encased in plastic, so that you can see at a glance everything you need. They even go the extra mile and include additional screws, in case you happen to misplace one.\r\nThe actual instruction manual is very clear, with step-by-step instructions paired with visual aids for each step, but if you do get confused, you can also consult the Assembly section of their website for video tutorials.\r\nOne person probably can manage to do the entire assembly on their own, but owing to the heavy, premium materials, we’d recommend you have a friend help you out, especially for connecting the arm rests and the back rest to the chair seat.\r\n\r\nStandout Features\r\n\r\nWhat separates a premium desk chair from a regular desk chair boils down to the materials and features, and until you’ve experienced just how elevated these can be, you’ll have a hard time understanding why one chair can cost $50 and another $2,000. But we’ll do our best to paint you an accurate picture. \r\nPremium Materials\r\nThere are two main materials used on this chair’s touch points: vegan leather Brisa on the seat and back rest and X-Chair’s proprietary Advanced Tensile Recovery (A.T.R.) on the pivoting lumbar unit. First, the Brisa leather is incredibly soft to the touch, simultaneously supple and strong, and a total joy to sit on, even (and maybe even especially) for long periods of time. \r\nUnderneath the seat surface is a Cooling Gel Memory Foam, which offers support and cushioning in equal measure, gradually contouring to the shape of your body to offer even better comfort over time. Paired with the extra-wide (22 inches) seat base, this is a recipe for all-day comfort.\r\nFinally, we need to talk about the chair base. It’s metal, and noticeably heavier than the flimsy plastic commonly used in office chairs, which helps to give this chair its generous 275-pound weight limit. Thankfully, that added weight doesn’t in the least impair the chair’s mobility, because of another standout feature: the wheels. \r\nRollerblade-Style Wheels\r\nX-Chair calls these wheels “rollerblade-inspired,” and just touch them or set them rolling by hand and you’ll understand the comparison. The dual-bearing design does a fantastic job moving the chair across carpet, laminate or wood flooring, and they operate quietly, so as not to disturb your co-workers when you roll to the nearest printer. You can also opt to have a locking feature on each individual wheel, which is a fantastic upgrade for adding stability on slicker floor surfaces.\r\nCooling, Heating & Massage Functions\r\nOne of the cooler upgrade options is the ability to add a heat and massage or heat, cooling and massage function to the lumbar section of your chair. The massage function, available in two intensity settings and either a continuous or pulsating massage, is a welcome way to wake up tired muscles and promote better blood flow, especially after prolonged sitting, while the heating and cooling elements are perfect for soothing sore and tired muscles and offering some pain relief to a tight back.\r\nA rechargeable battery powers all of these functions, with a charging cable that operates on either USB or a standard power outlet, so recharging is also painless.\r\nRotating Armrests\r\nThe standard armrests offer four-dimensional adjustments (up, down, side-to-side and front-to-back), but you can get even more customization potential out of the upgraded FS 360 rotational armrests, which come in especially handy for those of you who work on longer desks or like to switch up your seated posture throughout the day. \r\nCustomized Comfort\r\nOf course, all of the fancy bells and whistles aren’t worth much if your sitting experience isn’t comfortable and tailored to your body’s unique needs, which is why the X-Tech Executive offers as many adjustment options as a premium car seat. You can adjust both the seat height and depth, as well as the angle of the lumbar unit to offer the best possible support for the curve of your lower back. The seat back tilts and reclines to your liking, and locks in place when you find your particular cozy spot, while the head rest cleverly tilts backwards and forwards and can be adjusted up or down in height. \r\nThe more time you spend sitting in this chair, and the more time you spend experimenting with its many functions and customization options, the sooner you’ll realize the design engineers at X-Chair truly thought of everything. The only downside? You’ll have a hard time sitting in any other chair in the future.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Gamify Your Routines to Build Better HabitsHow to Work From Home EfficientlyTime Management Tips", "keywords": "X-Chair, X-Tech, Executive, Review", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/home/x-chair-x-tech-executive-review/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1759953836.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/home/x-chair-x-tech-executive-review.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:18:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96350", "lang_id": "1", "title": "You Cannot Love Someone Into Treating You Right", "title_slug": "you-cannot-love-someone-into-treating-you-right", "title_hash": "23fafbe11d467abb382b28de912ee968", "summary": "I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while now. It’s been sitting heavily on my chest, and I guess writing it and sharing it as an anonymous story is …", "content": "

I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while now. It’s been sitting heavily on my chest, and I guess writing it and sharing it as an anonymous story is another form of therapy for me. It all started when my friend, Mel, connected me to a guy named Alfred.

We dated for about a year. At first, everything felt rosy. You know how they say, “Enjoy it while it lasts”? Well, I did. I’ve never been one to judge because I’m not perfect either, so I overlooked his red flags.

One of the first things I noticed was how often he talked about his ex. Constantly. Always going on about how she hurt him. Have I been hurt before? Yes. But did I ever badmouth my ex to Alfred? No. I told myself maybe talking about it was his way of healing.

Financially, he was supportive. I contributed too. I never waited for him to give me money before I cooked. When my susu matured, I’d even give him a share and buy him things. I didn’t want to always be on the receiving end.

Then I realised that he had a bad temper. He was always talking down to me. It was as if making me feel small made him feel better about himself. It went on for a while until I decided I wouldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t let him talk to me anyhow just because I wanted to be seen as respectful. So I started responding too, mostly through long texts, paragraphs upon paragraphs of how I felt. After all that, I’d end up apologising for the sake of peace.

One day, we went shopping. Each time I suggested something, he dismissed it. After the second time, I decided to stay quiet. Then, in front of everyone, he started talking to me anyhow. I stayed quiet. It was when I went home that I told him I was hurt. I expected an apology but I didn’t get any.

He had this pattern: he’d trigger me, wait for my reaction, then run to Mel to complain. He wouldn’t tell her what he did but he’d screenshot my angry texts, just to make me look like the troublemaker.

One day she told me, “Maybe you’re stressing him too much.” So I told myself, “Okay, maybe I’m not doing things right. Let me try harder. Let me be the good woman.”

Before we officially started dating, he said his love language was respect and that he rarely received gifts from women. So I decided to surprise him. I contacted a vendor to deliver a gift to him. Instead of being happy, he got angry. He said I should have told him first before getting him the gifts.

Then came his birthday. I got him another present. When the vendor called him to say his woman had sent a gift, he said, “Oh, the money I’ve been giving her is what she used to buy this gift.”

That statement was unnecessary. Where I come from, when someone gifts you something, you say thank you, sincerely and repeatedly. But his “Thanks, I got the package” felt cold. Regardless, I let it slide. After all, I loved him.

One day, we argued after I asked him to quit a bad habit. He got angry and compared me to his ex again. He always did that during fights. He believed that as long as he gave me money, I should tolerate whatever came with it because “he’s the man.”

Sure, financially and sexually, he was present, I will give him that. However, emotionally and mentally, he was absent.

I endured everything until one time when we were having intimacy. He asked mid-act what I had gone to do in the Western Region years ago with Mel. That trip happened four years before I even met him. When I didn’t respond he said, “Stop acting like a good girl. The things women do in the streets, they do with men like us.”

That was the moment my feelings for him started dying. I realised I was hurting myself by staying in that relationship.

Before things ended, I asked him about another woman he was entertaining. He got angry and insulted me badly. “You’re not any more special than my exes,” he said. Then he added that I shouldn’t call him anymore unless there’s an emergency. All through his rants, I stayed silent because I didn’t want to disrespect him. But deep down, I started letting go.

I stopped visiting him for three months. In the third month, he asked for a breakup. Unlike the first time, I didn’t beg. I was tired. Tired of the insults, the comparisons, the emotional bruises.

I used to be afraid to end things because I thought maybe I was the problem. In actual fact, my only problem was trying too hard to be that good African woman. Well, I stopped trying. I chose peace over pain. I couldn’t keep walking on eggshells around someone who claimed love but acted like an enemy.

Even Satan knows I did my best. I tried giving him the love he never had, but he tried to break me. He wanted me to accept his flaws in the name of “That’s how I am,” but he couldn’t accept mine. It took me long enough but I finally saw his red flags screaming, “Run!”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

After our break-up, he started badmouthing me to his male friends, just as he talked sh*t about his exes to me. I wanted to tell Mel everything, but I felt she was too loyal to him so I just quietly moved on.

That relationship has taught me to treat people the same way they treat me. Also, you can’t love someone into treating you right.

—Flamah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": "You, Cannot, Love, Someone, Into, Treating, You, Right", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2723.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/you-cannot-love-someone-into-treating-you-right/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:09:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96349", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Fell in Love With An Admin But I’m Now Sharing Her With the Gods", "title_slug": "i-fell-in-love-with-an-admin-but-im-now-sharing-her-with-the-gods", "title_hash": "6671ffc54741a60a91598168b6145a25", "summary": "She came to the bank and I decided to help her. The queue was long, and so was my stare. I loved what I was seeing, so I signaled her …", "content": "

She came to the bank and I decided to help her. The queue was long, and so was my stare. I loved what I was seeing, so I signaled her to come. She was cashing a cheque. I took the cheque and asked her to go and sit down. I could have done it in a minute, but I didn’t want her to leave so soon. Her presence lit up my mood and I wanted to keep her for a while.

When she came to the counter for the money, I asked quietly, “Can I have your number?”

Even the way she held the pen looked special. She wrote her number and her name under it. I said, “Thank you, Vera.” And she smiled while walking away. I was going to call her over the weekend, but she came again the next day and then again the following day. I asked, “Do you work around here?” She pointed south and said, “Just around the corner. A few meters away from here.”

We became friends. I visited her office for lunch. She visited my home one weekend. I visited her heart and didn’t want to leave. I stamped my desire for her love on her heart. She said I should give her time. But that very day, time was ripe so she said yes to my proposal. It’s different when you fall in love with someone at first sight. You can’t get enough of them. They become your world and your time revolves around them.

We came to work together. I closed a little bit late, so she had to go home before me, but once I left the office, I found my way into her house, then into her arms. Five months later, we were planning our future together. She met my mom. My dad spoke to her on the phone. He’s abroad. Her parents weren’t in Accra, so she told me we had to visit her hometown.

We didn’t do it until a year later. It was their festival and she wanted me to experience it and also meet the whole family tree.

We got there late Friday night. It’s a small town in the Volta region. You could see the place was packed. Drum beats here, music from sound systems there. We changed into something casual and joined the drum beat.

She joined a group who were dancing their traditional dance. I was awed. I hadn’t seen her dance that way before. She pulled me in and asked me to watch and do the same. I was all over the place, embarrassing myself. The rhythm traveled north while I danced towards the south. She was teaching me. The men were also trying to make me dance to the rhythm. It didn’t work. My body turned and twirled wherever it wanted.

In the morning, she formally introduced me to the family. Her mom asked about my tribe and I told her. Her dad asked if my family would accept his daughter and I responded, “My family already knows her.” I met her siblings. They were all lovely and made my stay very easy.

On Saturday afternoon, Vera changed into something different. White marks on her skin and face with only a half piece of cloth tied from her chest down. She wore beads around her neck and ankles and walked barefoot. I teased, “One day, you’ll become a very beautiful ancestor. Look at you.”

We joined a group of band players and dancers. This was different. It looked more culturally serious and fetish-heavy than the one we joined the night before. All the women dressed the same way and the men also the same way. The dancing and shouting were vigorous.

A few minutes later, Vera was dancing when she fell to the ground. All of the dancing group surrounded her, chanting words and beating the drums loudly. I didn’t speak their language, but I could feel all was not well. One man ran out and later came with Vera’s dad. They all stood over her until a fetish priest arrived. He stood and watched Vera on the floor, shaking and shouting.

She got up suddenly and started dancing vigorously. They poured powder and water on her while she danced and screamed. Honestly, I was scared and worried. I asked a gentleman next to me what was happening and he said, “The gods have entered her. She’s a chosen daughter of the priest.”

Eiiish! My Vera?

Our eyes met, but it didn’t look like she remembered me. They allowed her to dance and chant until she was later carried into a room. Her dad took me home, assuring me it was a normal cultural practice and she would be fine. Her dad was a justice of the court, but in the village, he was just like any other person.

I stayed with her family. Her brother James was with me, explaining everything to me. I didn’t see Vera again until late at night when they held a durbar. She came dressed all in white and powdered from hair to toe. I said in my head, “My girlfriend is a fetish priest now? I’m now going to compete with the gods?”

We were supposed to leave on Sunday morning, but by the time I saw her again, it was late afternoon. She had slept all day. When our eyes met, she lowered her head. I didn’t know if I could hug or touch her. She looked drained.

By evening, before leaving, her mom and dad had a long conversation with me, advising me to take good care of her because she was special. They sought to make what happened look normal, telling me it usually happened on a celebration like that. On the bus going home, I asked, “Please, explain everything to me and how it’s going to affect our relationship going forward.”

She said she was feeling sleepy, so she slept until we got back to Accra. Everything went back to normal as if she wasn’t that girl the gods had chosen. She told me, “You don’t have to worry about anything. I’m still the old Vera. I went to Rome and did what the Romans do. Back to normal life.”

She still wears her nails and eyelashes and still dresses in bum shorts when we are alone in the house. She goes to church on Sundays and sings her favorite gospel songs. On Mondays, she’s at work dressed in a suit and playing her admin role while sending emails that start with, “I hope this mail finds you well.”

Nothing has changed really, but day by day and on certain nights when she’s in my arms, what happened in her hometown reels before my eyes and I ask myself, “Am I eating the food for the gods? Are they pleased or are they planning to revolt against me?”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

She’s still the Vera I loved at first sight. She dazzles just like I found her the very first day. My feelings for her haven’t changed. She tells me we’ll prosper because the gods have a soft spot for her. I tease her, “If you say you’re the favorite of the gods, then tell them to give me winning odds.”

My only prayer is that I don’t wake up one day and the gods have won. We play. We laugh. We love. But the future worries me. A lot.

—Owusu

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Fell, Love, With, Admin, But, I’m, Now, Sharing, Her, With, the, Gods", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/2149029445.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-fell-in-love-with-an-admin-but-im-now-sharing-her-with-the-gods/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:09:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96348", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Husband regrets having our kids", "title_slug": "my-husband-regrets-having-our-kids", "title_hash": "f758b8b81db9667012fcfb81b8ff7e5b", "summary": "He’s an amazing husband and father. Even though he grew up in a broken home, he swore to be the best dad and husband, and honestly, he has kept that …", "content": "

He’s an amazing husband and father. Even though he grew up in a broken home, he swore to be the best dad and husband, and honestly, he has kept that promise. I’ve known him for 10 years, and we’ve been married for eight. Together, we have four kids.

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The way he takes care of the children melts my heart — prepping them for school every morning and tucking them into bed every night. There’s no doubt he loves them to the moon and back, and the kids adore him just as much. To them, he’s the best daddy and their hero.

But here’s the problem. Last Saturday, we decided to play Truth or Dare to spice up our love life. During the game, he confessed something that’s been stuck in my mind since. He said that if he ever had another life, he would still choose me over and over again, but he wouldn’t want our kids in the picture.

Now, it’s not that our kids are sick or troublesome. We have one girl and three boys. All of them are healthy, smart, and topping their classes. They’re sweet, dutiful, and such a blessing. So hearing him say that broke me.

When I tried to talk to him about it, he brushed it off. He says I am making a mountain out of a molehill. He is not one to make meaningless utterances. Before he says something like this, it must have come from deep within him.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

To me, it sounds like he regrets having the kids, and that thought shatters me. I am wondering if it’s because of the polar differences in their personalities. He is an introvert while the kids are extroverted. Could it be that they overwhelm him? He is refusing to talk so my mind keeps wandering places in search of the problem.

I’m thinking we should go for therapy so he can open up about whatever’s weighing on him. Maybe then I can understand and help him manage it.

Or… am I just being dramatic?

—Adzo

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#SB

", "keywords": ", Husband, regrets, having, our, kids", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2739.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-husband-regrets-having-our-kids/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:09:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96346", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Want To Pay My Mother My Own Bride Price", "title_slug": "i-want-to-pay-my-mother-my-own-bride-price", "title_hash": "1671bad54e0dc1947b615bf8bec2e108", "summary": "I am the last born of six siblings. Growing up, I watched my mother shoulder almost every financial responsibility for our family, from Christmas gifts to daily meals and everything …", "content": "

I am the last born of six siblings. Growing up, I watched my mother shoulder almost every financial responsibility for our family, from Christmas gifts to daily meals and everything else that made life comfortable for us. She was a hardworking entrepreneur, and I must say, God truly blessed her in her prime.

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My grandmother, my mother’s mother, was also doing very well. She owned a big provision (groceries) shop that was quite profitable, so as a family, we lived comfortably.

My mother raised us as a single parent. Though my father was alive and in our lives, he wasn’t doing well for himself. My grandmother, who had lost her husband and never remarried, was also raising her children on her own. So, I grew up surrounded by two strong, independent women who made things happen by themselves.

Being the last-born and the only girl, I enjoyed the soft life they worked hard to build. My mother enrolled me in one of the best private schools in town, and from kindergarten to junior high, I never once got sent home for unpaid fees or lacked anything. Not financially and emotionally. My siblings were also there for me, so yes, I was pampered.

It was when I went to the university, that things became different for us as a family. My mother accompanied me on my first trip and even visited me twice afterward, but I eventually had to ask her to stop. I wanted to try my best and make her proud on my own.

Then came Daniel in Level 100. He proposed during the second semester, but by the end of that same semester, he left me for a married woman. Then there was Joe, who came along in Level 200. He, too, left by the time we reached Level 300, because of someone else. Those experiences broke me in ways I didn’t expect.

I thought those heartbreaks would teach me to recognize the difference between good men and bad ones, but they didn’t. Somehow, I kept pushing away the good ones and falling for the bad ones who never valued me or the relationship. Eventually, I decided to take a break from dating.

After completing university and my national service, things started to look up. By God’s grace, I’ve never been unemployed. Growing up around two entrepreneurial women must have rubbed off on me because I now have two side hustles in addition to my 8–5 job.

Here’s where my struggle begins.

My poor choices led me to someone I thought was good, but he turned out to be the worst. He doesn’t abuse me, but he’s a chronic cheat and a liar. We have two children together, and since he’s jobless, I take care of them mostly by myself.

We’re not married, so I consider myself a single mother. I’m not complaining. My friends often remind me that it will be hard. I don’t doubt them but I’m determined to overcome it.

What keeps me up at night is the question: Why did I ignore the signs? Why did I overlook good, responsible men and fall for those who never valued me? I live with regret every day, especially when I see how well some of the men I once turned down are now doing in life.

I’m not crying because I can’t support myself. Financially, I’m comfortable. It’s just that deep down, I don’t feel loved. My only source of joy comes from my children. Their laughter, and their sweet smiles keep me going.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

The fact that I ended up a single mother like her makes me feel I’ve disappointed my mother. I want to make things right with her somehow—to show my appreciation, maybe even pay her my own bride price in the form of gifts. But I don’t know how to sit her down and have that conversation.

The feeling of failure eats at me day by day, and I honestly don’t know how to overcome this part of my life.

—Lucie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Want, Pay, Mother, Own, Bride, Price", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2743.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-want-to-pay-my-mother-my-own-bride-price/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:09:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "96347", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Wanted to Quit School Because They Said My Head Was Too Big", "title_slug": "i-wanted-to-quit-school-because-they-said-my-head-was-too-big", "title_hash": "14f040a340df9f73d3134846aff11c30", "summary": "I was a tiny girl with a noticeably big head. That combination became their favourite joke. They called me names like ‘etiri’ and ‘ti kelenkele’, laughing as if it were all …", "content": "

I was a tiny girl with a noticeably big head. That combination became their favourite joke. They called me names like ‘etiri’ and ‘ti kelenkele’, laughing as if it were all in good fun. But it wasn’t fun for me. It chipped away at my self-esteem, especially during adolescence when my peers were blossoming and attracting attention. I believed my head scared men away. I believed I wasn’t beautiful.

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My grades sank. The girl who once topped her class was now buried somewhere in the bottom fifty. My dad noticed. He sat me down and asked what was wrong. I told him everything was fine. I even said I wanted to drop out after BECE and learn a trade. But he pressed gently until the dam broke. In tears, I told him everything. I told him how my teachers and classmates mocked me, how even the adults who were supposed to protect me joined the crowd and made fun of me. They stopped using my real name. They called me what the bullies called me.

When school reopened, I returned with a different spirit. My confidence had been patched together with my father’s words and my own quiet resolve. The moment I walked into class, a girl shouted, “Eeeei etiri aba. Welcome!” I looked at her and calmly replied, “Nti na medi first aaah daabi wo di last no.” That’s why I’m always first in class and you’re always last. The class burst into laughter. I sat down quietly.

Later, a teacher entered and asked a question. He called me “etiri.” I didn’t respond. He repeated it, louder this time, then tapped his cane on my desk. “Can’t you hear I’m calling you?” he barked.

I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Sir, I came to this school with a name. That name is Abena. That is the only name I respond to. If you can’t call me by it, then please don’t call me at all.”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

You should have seen their faces. The silence was so thick you could slice through it. By break time, the entire school had heard what happened. That was the end of the bullying. No one dared call me “big head” again.

Even now, I tear up when I remember it. But I thank God for my dad. His words helped me reclaim my confidence, embrace my big head as a symbol of wisdom, and rise above the pain. I graduated with flying colours. Today, I hold a job I’m proud of. And yes, I still carry my big head into every room I walk into.

—Abena

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Wanted, Quit, School, Because, They, Said, Head, Was, Too, Big", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/2149734536.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-wanted-to-quit-school-because-they-said-my-head-was-too-big/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-09 10:09:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95706", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Involvement Testing (for Stories & Gambits)", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-involvement-testing-for-stories-gambits", "title_hash": "8b16ee75248ea1d16ff2f8f0b54baeb9", "summary": "Leverage the simple-to-use tactic of “involvement testing” to ensure your conversations are always mutually engaging – and never, ever boring.\nWhen you’re talking to a girl and you want to riff off on a story or dive into a gambit, but you aren’t sure if she’s going to like it, how can you tell?\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"involvement$ Leverage the simple-to-use tactic of “involvement testing” to ensure your conversations are always mutually engaging – and never, ever boring.

When you’re talking to a girl and you want to riff off on a story or dive into a gambit, but you aren’t sure if she’s going to like it, how can you tell?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Involvement, Testing, for, Stories, Gambits", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/involvement-testing-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-involvement-testing-stories-gambits", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95705", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Subtle Ways You Can Tell He’s Been With Women Before", "title_slug": "8-subtle-ways-you-can-tell-hes-been-with-women-before", "title_hash": "6ee1b584fd8ee1d4847ebeaa0291f8ca", "summary": "Some things you don’t need to ask. You just… feel it. You ever meet someone and there’s this…", "content": "Some things you don’t need to ask. You just… feel it. You ever meet someone and there’s this…", "keywords": ", Subtle, Ways, You, Can, Tell, He’s, Been, With, Women, Before", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/gets-2-e1759874034209.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-subtle-ways-you-can-tell-hes-been-with-women-before/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95704", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs He’s Chasing Pleasure But Avoiding Real Connection", "title_slug": "10-signs-hes-chasing-pleasure-but-avoiding-real-connection", "title_hash": "91626bb2c069704c4d0bfb725b41e28f", "summary": "He wants the feeling, not the meaning. It starts exciting. Always does.He looks at you like you’re special,…", "content": "He wants the feeling, not the meaning. It starts exciting. Always does.He looks at you like you’re special,…", "keywords": ", Signs, He’s, Chasing, Pleasure, But, Avoiding, Real, Connection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/addicted-1-e1759877084550.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-hes-chasing-pleasure-but-avoiding-real-connection/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95703", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Ways To Build Real Chemistry With A Woman", "title_slug": "10-ways-to-build-real-chemistry-with-a-woman", "title_hash": "f9e3a2c87d067f56265171849d48796d", "summary": "Chemistry isn’t about looks, it’s about energy. You can’t fake it. You either have it or you build…", "content": "Chemistry isn’t about looks, it’s about energy. You can’t fake it. You either have it or you build…", "keywords": ", Ways, Build, Real, Chemistry, With, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/must-lnow-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-ways-to-build-real-chemistry-with-a-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95701", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Amazon Prime Day 2025: Best Grooming Deals", "title_slug": "amazon-prime-day-2025-best-grooming-deals", "title_hash": "4f210b35123004896d4967061e8b6811", "summary": "Enjoy a Major Glow Up on a Discount With Amazon's Big Deal Days Grooming Deals", "content": "Too many shoppers focus exclusively on the flashy, expensive items and neglect the massive savings potential in smaller categories, especially grooming. But given the high cost of razor blades, electric toothbrushes and other grooming essentials, you can actually walk away with a lot more money in your bank account if you do some savvy grooming shopping.\r\nRELATED: Big Deal Days 2025: Best NSFW Deals \r\nBest of all, most grooming products don't have an expiry date, so if you know that you'll be requiring a large quantity of, for example, razors or tooth paste or body soap, you can double your savings by buying in bulk. A well-stocked bathroom cupboard isn't just a convenience; it's also a great way to cut down on the long-term cost of taking care of your body.\r\nHere are some of the best grooming deals on offer today, across a wide variety of brands and products:\r\n\r\nBest Prime Day Grooming Deals\r\n\r\nShampoos & Conditioners & Stylers\r\nHead & Shoulders Classic Dandruff Shampoo, 2-Pack\r\n$26.99 $22.94 at Amazon.com\r\nLiving Proof Dry Shampoo\r\n$45 $31.50 at Amazon.com\r\nToppik Hair Building Fibers\r\n$24.95 $14.95 at Amazon.com\r\nR+Co Television Perfect Hair Conditioner\r\n$38 $26.60 at Amazon.com\r\nBed Head by TIGI Hair Paste\r\n$19.99 $9.18 at Amazon.com\r\nBeard & Body Hair\r\nWahl USA All in One Trimmer\r\n$44.99 $33.74 at Amazon.com\r\nPhilips Norelco 3900 Series Shaver\r\n$79.999 $61.96 at Amazon.com\r\nGillette Fusion5 Power Blade Refills\r\n$29.94 $23.99 at Amazon.com\r\nGillette Fusion5 Cartridge Refills\r\n$39.99 $34.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPanasonic Beard Trimmer\r\n$134.99 $109.24 at Amazon.com\r\nPanasonic ARC6 Electric Razor \r\n$399.99 $339.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPanasonic ARC5 Electric Razor \r\n$129.99 $123.49 at Amazon.com\r\nMANSCAPED 3-in-1 Body Trimmer \r\n$32.99 $26.39 at Amazon.com\r\nMANSCAPED The Lawn Mower 5.0 \r\n$109.99 $76.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSkin Care\r\nSun Bum Original SPF 50 Sunscreen Spray\r\n$18.49 $17.48 at Amazon.com\r\nEltaMD UV Face Sunscreen\r\n$47 $37.60 at Amazon.com\r\nCoppertone Sport Sunscreen, SPF 50\r\n$27.69 $13.45 at Amazon.com\r\nCOSRX Hyaluronic Acid Moisturizing Cream\r\n$25 $15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser\r\n$19.99 $5.48 at Amazon.com\r\nNeutrogena Beach Defense Sunscreen, SPF 50\r\n$13.19 $9.88 at Amazon.com\r\nGold Bond Age Renew Overnight Face Lotion\r\n$14.99 $11.87 at Amazon.com\r\nJack Black Double-Duty Face Moisturizer\r\n$50 $32 at Amazon.com\r\nThayers Facial Toner\r\n$10.95 $7.65 at Amazon.com\r\nOral Care\r\nCrest 3D Whitestrips\r\n$45.99 $29.99 at Amazon.com\r\nWaterpik Cordless Flosser for Teeth\r\n$99.99 $59.99 at Amazon.com\r\nOral-B iO Series 3 Electric Toothbrush \r\n$99.99 $59.99 at Amazon.com\r\nColgate 360 Optic White Pro-Series Toothbrush\r\n$13.99 $12.89 at Amazon.com\r\nAquasonic Black Series Electric Toothbrush\r\n$49.95 $29.95 at Amazon.com\r\nPhilips Sonicare 5300 Electric Toothbrush\r\n$109.96 $69.96 at Amazon.com\r\nFragrances\r\nAzzaro The Most Wanted Parfum\r\n$140 $98 at Amazon.com\r\nAzzaro The Most Wanted Eau de Parfum Intense\r\n$135 $94.50 at Amazon.com\r\nViking Revolution Colognes\r\n$9.88 $7.90 at Amazon.com\r\nRalph Lauren Polo Blue\r\n$116 $81.20 at Amazon.com\r\nKenneth Cole Black Cologne Spray$15 $8.55 at Amazon.com\r\nCalvin Klein Obsession\r\n$86 $60.20 at Amazon.com\r\nCalvin Klein Eternity \r\n$97 $67.90 at Amazon.com\r\nJohn Varvatos Cologne \r\n$122 $69 at Amazon.com\r\nCalvin Klein CK One Eau de Toilette \r\n$77 $53.90 at Amazon.com\r\nDavid Beckham Refined Woods Eau de Parfum\r\n$54.99 $29.50 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nLooking for more Big Deal Days sales? Check out our sister sites RetailMeNot and Offers.com for so many deals, even Jeff Bezos would be proud. \r\nNot a Prime member? Get a jump-start on your holiday shopping and save by joining Prime or starting a free 30-day trial at amazon.com/primeday. \r\nBe sure to keep an eye on all of our other round-ups on the best Big Deal Days deals in tech, fitness, home, auto, and more. We’ll be keeping you updated throughout the two-day event, and you can follow us today and every day @AskMen on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook for up-to-the-minute tips on the biggest steals of all.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBig Deal Days 2025: Best Tech Deals\r\n\tBig Deal Days 2025: Best Fitness & Gear Deals\r\n\tThe Weirdest Amazon Big Deal Days Deals", "keywords": "Amazon, Prime, Day, 2025:, Best, Grooming, Deals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "57", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/style_deals/prime-day-best-style-grooming-deals-for-men/prime-day-2025-2x1-1759842024.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/style_deals/prime-day-best-style-grooming-deals-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95702", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Prime Day 2025: The Weirdest Amazon Prime Day Deals Ever", "title_slug": "prime-day-2025-the-weirdest-amazon-prime-day-deals-ever", "title_hash": "9e2ec201b13433116f17e34c9dab328a", "summary": "Feeling Adventurous? These Are the Strangest Big Deal Days Offerings We Could Find", "content": "People can't get enough of the great deals on Amazon's Big Deal Days sales event.\r\nFor 96 hours, prices of varying products throughout Amazon are slashed, leaving you to swoop 'em up while supplies last. From cooking equipment to high-definition televisions, gym gear and quality bedding, your choices are endless.\r\nRELATED: Big Deal Days 2025: Best NSFW Deals\r\nBut what about the hot deals on the more ... obscure items? Sure, the essentials are great, but this is Amazon and they have everything. That means the discounts don't stop on just the more obvious products. In the market for a fish pencil case, a hot dog toaster, or a sequin pillow case with Harry Styles's face on it? Well, if you're not, someone must be ...\r\nBelow, we've rounded up the stranger items that you can find on Amazon that you should most definitely include in your cart before you hit the \"check out\" button.\r\nSquirrel Finger Puppet Set\r\n\r\nMaybe you love squirrels or have a flair for the dramatic, or maybe you just want to freak out a squirrel-phobic friend of yours. Whatever your reason, this set of squirrel finger puppets (almost half-off for Prime Day!) is guaranteed to be a good time.\r\n$12.99 $6.99 at Amazon.com \r\nCat Ear Gaming Headset\r\n\r\nIs this how furries game? We don't know, but if the idea of having kitten ears while you snipe people in CoD appeals, these beauties are for you. Don't be fooled, either: beneath the cutesy pink exterior, these are capable gaming headphones.\r\n$159.99 $127.20 at Amazon.com \r\nInflatable Dinosaur Costume\r\n\r\nRight in time for Halloween. Or you could just wear it on a night-time stroll – who are we to judge?\r\n$36.99 $29.59 at Amazon.com \r\nSUADEN French Fry Holder for Cars\r\n\r\nIf your daily commute takes you through a McDonald's or Wendy's drive-through, and if you really enjoy munching on fries while you drive, you'll love the convenience of this French fry holder from SUADEN. \r\n$7.99 $6.39 at Amazon.com\r\nBurrito Blanket\r\n\r\nSnug as a bug in a rug? No! Snug as beef in a burrito! If that makes sense to you, you might enjoy this food-themed blanket, also available in cookie, waffle and pizza stylings. The flannel fabric is surprisingly comfortable, and it's double-sided, with burrito coloring on both sides. \r\n$22.99 $19.54 at Amazon.com\r\nChicken Harness with Matching Leash\r\n\r\nAre your chickens constantly running away from you? Pick up this discounted chickenharness with matching leash, and you'll have your birds walking on leash in no time at all. We especially love the little bow on the front of the harness – very sharp! \r\n$14.99 $11.99 at Amazon.com \r\nGuillotine-Style Bagel Slicer\r\n\r\nFresh bagels are a breakfast staple, but how many people do you know who can slice their bagels guillotine-style? If you're a fan of the French Revolution or just prize a perfect, even cut, this nifty bagel slicer might be for you.\r\n$29.99 $16.14 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nLooking for more Big Deal Days sales? Check out our sister sites RetailMeNot and Offers.com for so many deals, even Jeff Bezos would be proud.\r\nNot a Prime member? Get a jump-start on your holiday shopping and save by joining Prime or starting a free 30-day trial at amazon.com/primeday.\r\nBe sure to keep an eye on all of our other round-ups on the best Big Deal Days deals in tech, fitness, home, auto, and more. We’ll be keeping you updated throughout the two-day event, and you can follow us today and every day @AskMen on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook for up-to-the-minute tips on the biggest steals of all.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBig Deal Days 2025: Best Grooming DealsBig Deal Days 2025: Best Fitness DealsBig Deal Days 2025: Best Tech Deals", "keywords": "Prime, Day, 2025:, The, Weirdest, Amazon, Prime, Day, Deals, Ever", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/the-weirdest-amazon-prime-day-deals-ever/prime-day-2025-2x1-1759834438.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/the-weirdest-amazon-prime-day-deals-ever.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95699", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Prime Big Deal Days Spotlight: Acer Aspire 15", "title_slug": "prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-acer-aspire-15", "title_hash": "8e35d65c30110c0778ef15924f886665", "summary": "Upgrade Your Mobile Workstation to Acer's Powerhouse Aspire 15 for 40% Off", "content": "It's 2025 and basically everything is more expensive — everything, that is, except consumer electronics. For whatever reason, and defying all odds, computers have become more affordable even as they've gotten significantly more powerful, and we're nothing but grateful. \r\nGone are the days when you had to drop thousands of dollars to get a work-capable laptop that could handle almost everything you could conceivably throw at it. Whether you're a student looking for a versatile study laptop or an office worker looking for a way to take your work on the go, the Acer Aspire 15 is a budget-friendly workhorse that combines excellent battery life, top-notch build quality and impressive internals to check every box.\r\nRELATED: Prime Big Deal Days: Tech Deals\r\nBest of all, it is discounted 40% for Amazon's Big Deal Days sales event, making it one of the best bargains in the laptop category.\r\nAcer Aspire 15 Laptop\r\n\r\nFeaturing a vibrant, 15-inch IPS display with a slim bezel and integrated Windows Copilot AI assistance at the touch of a button, as well as a wide array of ports, from USB-C to HDMI, the Aspire 15 is a versatile workhorse powered by an 8-core Intel Core 3 processor, 8GB of DDR5 RAM and an ultra-snappy 128GB of flash storage.\r\nAcer's proprietary AcerSense software, also available at the touch of a button, intuitively optimizes core aspects of your laptop, from the storage to the power management, to deliver optimal performance, battery life and even video call quality. And speaking of battery life: a single charge is good for 12 hours of typical use, so whether you're taking it to the office or to class, it will have the juice to carry you through your day. \r\n$349.99 $209.99 at Amazon.com\r\nShop more Prime Big Deal Days deals and stack your savings by exploring our coverage of Amazon's biggest sale event of the year.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nPrime Day: Best Grooming DealsPrime Day: Best Fashion DealsPrime Day: Best Fitness Deals", "keywords": "Prime, Big, Deal, Days, Spotlight:, Acer, Aspire", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/tech-deals/prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-acer-aspire-15/prime-day-2025-2x1-1759846794.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/tech-deals/prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-acer-aspire-15.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95700", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Amazon Prime Day 2025: Best Fashion Deals", "title_slug": "amazon-prime-day-2025-best-fashion-deals", "title_hash": "87ce6eb62197c6ba0c9458e2e2b78545", "summary": "Save Big on Clothes, Shoes, Watches & Sunglasses to Fill Out Your Wardrobe", "content": "Amazon's big, two-day savings extravaganza is finally here, with steep discounts on major items from televisions to appliances, but while most shoppers are distracted by the shiny tech toys and much-coveted TV discounts, we're here to \r\nIt's no secret that looking good can be costly, especially if you want to kit yourself out in well-made clothes sourced from quality materials, but the savvy shopper can still find a way to outfit himself with a brand new wardrobe without breaking the budget.\r\nRELATED: Big Deal Days 2025: Best Grooming Deals\r\nTo help you get started, we've picked out some of our favorite fashion deals for guys, and we'll be updating this list throughout the two-day event, so you can always get the latest and greatest clothing at the best prices.\r\n\r\nBest Prime Day Fashion Deals\r\n\r\nClothing (Discounts May Vary by Size)\r\nIBEX Merino Wool Journey Short Sleeve Crew\r\n$85 $61.60 at Amazon.com\r\nCalvin Klein Slim Fit Infinite Flex Chinos\r\n$79.50 $49.99 at Amazon.com\r\nLucky Brand 410 Athletic Fit Jean\r\n$99 $34.99 at Amazon.com\r\nLevi's 550 Relaxed Fit Jeans\r\n$69.50 $34.64 at Amazon.com\r\nLevi's 559 Relaxed Straight Jeans\r\n$69.50 $37.98 at Amazon.com\r\nChampion Powerblend Fleece Crewneck Sweatshirt\r\n$50 $28.88 at Amazon.com\r\nChampion Lightweight Lounge Pants\r\n$35 $15.38 at Amazon.com\r\nBrooks Brothers Cotton Pique Polo Shirt\r\n$89.50 $32.61 at Amazon.com\r\nLacoste Short Leeve Pima Jersey Polo\r\n$98 $65.15 at Amazon.com\r\nLacoste Short Sleeve Classic Polo Shirt\r\n$110 $54.87 at Amazon.com\r\nLacoste Short Sleeve Paris Polo\r\n$125 $58.59 at Amazon.com\r\nPolo Ralph Lauren Classic Crew, 3-Pack\r\n$49.50 $34.65 at Amazon.com\r\nFootwear\r\nBruno Marc KnitFlex Mesh Oxford Sneakers\r\n$45.99 $38.79 at Amazon.com\r\nCole Haan American Classics Penny Loafer\r\n$165 $123.75 at Amazon.com\r\nCole Haan The Go-to Wing Oxford\r\n$160 $81.97 at Amazon.com\r\nClarks Shacrelite Moc\r\n$90 $40.50 at Amazon.com\r\nadidas Gamecourt 2.0 Sneaker\r\n$70 $59.95 at Amazon.com\r\nNew Balance 608 V5 Cross Trainer\r\n$84.99 $72.24 at Amazon.com\r\nWatches, Sunglasses & Accessories\r\nTimex Expedition Scout Watch, 40mm\r\n$70 $50.25 at Amazon.com\r\nTimex Easy Reader Watch\r\n$38.25 $31 at Amazon.com\r\nTimex IRONMAN Triathlon Classic Watch\r\n$97 $57.20 at Amazon.com\r\nMichael Kors Oversized Slim Runway Watch\r\n$225 $134.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCasio G-Shock XL Watch\r\n$110 $75.25 at Amazon.com\r\nBulova Classic 3-Hand Quartz Watch, 41mm \r\n$295 $167.74 at Amazon.com\r\nThe Ridge Minimalist Slim Wallet\r\n$149.99 $99 at Amazon.com\r\nFossil Coachman Quartz Chronograph\r\n$195 $124.68 at Amazon.com\r\nCitizen Garrison 3-Hand Eco-Drive Watch\r\n$250 $169 at Amazon.com\r\nCitizen Promaster Diver Watch\r\n$395 $296.25 at Amazon.com\r\nOakley OO9154 Half Jacket Sunglasses\r\n$162 $121.50 at Amazon.com\r\nRay-Ban Rb2132 New Wayfarer Sunglasses\r\n$194 $155.20 at Amazon.com\r\nRay-Ban RB3716 Clubmaster Sunglasses\r\n$202 $151.50 at Amazon.com\r\nCosta Del Mar Rincon Sunglasses\r\n$212 $159 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nLooking for more Big Deal Days sales? Check out our sister sites RetailMeNot and Offers.com for so many deals, even Jeff Bezos would be proud. \r\nNot a Prime member? Get a jump-start on your holiday shopping and save by joining Prime or starting a free 30-day trial at amazon.com/primeday. \r\nBe sure to keep an eye on all of our other round-ups on the best Big Deal Days deals in tech, fitness, home, auto, and more. We’ll be keeping you updated throughout the two-day event, and you can follow us today and every day @AskMen on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook for up-to-the-minute tips on the biggest steals of all.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBig Deal Days 2025: Best Tech Deals\r\n\tBig Deal Days 2025: Best Fitness & Gear Deals\r\n\tBig Deal Days 2025: Best NSFW Deals", "keywords": "Amazon, Prime, Day, 2025:, Best, Fashion, Deals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/amazon-prime-day-best-fashion-deals/prime-day-2025-2x1-1-1759843723.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/amazon-prime-day-best-fashion-deals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:34:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95543", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Don’t We Talk About Sexual Desire Among Christian Singles?", "title_slug": "why-dont-we-talk-about-sexual-desire-among-christian-singles", "title_hash": "b70d6639c22117e4f74b72a25f8a2fc6", "summary": "I’m a 37-year-old single woman. Somehow, I’ve been able to handle the internal and social pressures of not being married at my age. I’ve made peace with where I am …", "content": "

I’m a 37-year-old single woman. Somehow, I’ve been able to handle the internal and social pressures of not being married at my age. I’ve made peace with where I am in life, or at least I’m trying to.

What I’m struggling with is something nobody wants to talk about: the desire for emotional and physical intimacy.

My ovulation periods are difficult times for me. I’m constantly dealing with intense sexual urges, and it frustrates me deeply. Sometimes I touch myself just to make the urge go away, but it’s hardly enough. I don’t want to use objects because I’m afraid it might create problems for me if marriage comes. What if I become dependent on them? What if I can’t enjoy intimacy with a real person?

I’m a Christian woman. I’ve avoided sex outside marriage all this while. Even outside of religious reasons, I can’t bring myself to be sexually intimate with someone I haven’t built that level of connection with. My faith and my values matter to me.

I hear a lot of sermons about sexual purity, mostly directed toward young people. But nothing about how people like me should deal with these strong sexual urges. People I speak to, including pastors and men of God, can’t help with anything practical. I feel like they can’t relate, so I keep quiet and suffer alone.

They say masturbation is a sin. But if that’s true, what are we supposed to do with these very real, very human urges? Why is no one talking about this? Where is the space for women like me to find guidance that honours both biology and belief? So what should we do? Just suffer in silence? Pray it away and hope it works? Get married to the first person who shows interest just to have a “legitimate” outlet?

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

I’m not asking for permission to sin. I’m asking for honesty, for empathy, and for practical wisdom. Because holiness doesn’t mean numbness. And purity shouldn’t feel like punishment.

—Hannah

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "Why, Don’t, Talk, About, Sexual, Desire, Among, Christian, Singles", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/49685.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/why-dont-we-talk-about-sexual-desire-among-christian-singles/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:24:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95542", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Waited For Him All These Years For This?", "title_slug": "i-waited-for-him-all-these-years-for-this", "title_hash": "07070cbd58535415eef2abdd5c24ff4f", "summary": "At the time I started dating Tie in 2019, he had moved outside the country. The only time I had seen him before then was in 2016 when he passed …", "content": "

At the time I started dating Tie in 2019, he had moved outside the country. The only time I had seen him before then was in 2016 when he passed by my shop and stopped to buy airtime from me. Our friendship didn’t begin that day but he made quite an impression on me. Occasionally, he came to mind. Then Facebook brought him into my inbox.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

He told me he was making preparations to relocate to Ghana soon. It was the reason I agreed to be with him. That soon turned into years of waiting. Every year came with the same story, “Babe, I am making plans to return in December. We will be together soon.”

He kept singing this anthem until he finally returned home a year ago. Although he is not my first boyfriend, he is the first man I ever spent a night with. And the truth is, I wanted to ghost him when he first got back.

You see, he didn’t meet my expectations physically. I believe if he takes good care of himself he will look nice. He doesn’t. His fashion sense is all over the place. He smells awful too. I tried to look beyond the superficial and connect with him on an intellectual level. It was a disaster. His way of thinking does not appeal to me. Let’s just say that everything about this man caught me off guard. I thought I knew him all that time the relationship was long-distance.

Anyway, I didn’t ghost him. I felt I had waited for him for years. “Maybe if I am a little patient, he will grow on me,” I thought.

My sister also advised me to stay and help him be the man I want. I took her advice. I’ve bought him trousers, shirts, perfumes, pomades, colognes, and even soap just so he could smell good. Nothing has changed.

When we go out, especially to my workplace, people sometimes mistake him for my younger brother or even my employee. People close to me don’t believe it when I tell them he is four years older than me. I’ve sat him down several times to talk about how his lifestyle makes me feel. He tells me he will work on it but we are still at square one.

I’ve realised he’s never really had anyone to look up to when he was growing up. He is 32 now, is it too late for him to change?

The mistake I made was agreeing to live with him. We even rented a place together. I wake up every day to all the things that bug me about him.

My consolation is that he has a good heart. He’s caring, helpful, and very supportive. He even helps with my business, goes with me to sell, and supervises my workers.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

If only he presented himself pleasantly, he would have been perfect for me. How do I make him the man I want? I want to make him understand that his attitude and appearance are making me lose confidence when I’m with him.

I feel so bad trying to fix him. I have decided that if things remain the same by December, I will move to another region and stay there for a while. I want to see if some distance will help us find a common ground.

—Constance

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", "keywords": ", Waited, For, Him, All, These, Years, For, This", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2706.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-waited-for-him-all-these-years-for-this/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-08 05:24:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "95540", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Seven Years Later, She Still Wants A Baby With Me", "title_slug": "seven-years-later-she-still-wants-a-baby-with-me", "title_hash": "54d1b422a96f57c89add52ec583610c1", "summary": "The first time she said it, I laughed it off as a bad joke. Why would a woman like her ask me to give her a child? She didn’t look …", "content": "

The first time she said it, I laughed it off as a bad joke. Why would a woman like her ask me to give her a child? She didn’t look like the kind who couldn’t get a man. Besides, we were not dating. We were barely even friends, yet she wanted me to have intimacy with her. No, I am not that kind of man. You have to mean something to me before I get physical with you.

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I told her I couldn’t do it and she didn’t hide her disappointment. “I’m not asking you to marry me or fall in love with me. I just need one child from you. I’ll do my calculations and we’ll do it when I am ovulating.”

I still said no. She employed all sorts of emotional appeals to try and persuade me. None of it worked. It even got to a point where she was literally chasing me. I didn’t budge. I cut her off instead.

All of this happened seven years ago. She was in her late 30s while I was in my twenties. Just recently, she called me. A lot has changed in my life after all these years but it appears nothing has changed for her. She still wants a child and I am the one she wants it from.

She is 45 now while I am in my early thirties. “I am not going to demand anything from you when I get pregnant,” she said pleadingly, “I will take care of the child myself.”

Unlike seven years ago, I am beginning to feel tempted this time around. It’s not for her but for my sake as well. I am wondering if this is my chance to have a child as well. I haven’t said yes to her because I can’t fathom cheating on my wife.

Yes, I got married. My wife and I constantly talked about having kids before we tied the knot. We thought it would be easy but so far she hasn’t conceived. She has some health issues that have affected her fertility.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

We are trusting God and trying in as many ways as possible to get pregnant but we are still childless. It feels almost cosmic that this woman from my past called me at this challenging time to revisit her desire to have a baby with me. Is this a path I should go down?

—Danny

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I had a phone shop when I was in Koforidua. It was a very small shop, but I had a dream to make it big. I would come to Accra, buy phones, and take them to Koforidua to sell. My cousin, Ebo, was the one helping me then. When I had to come to Accra, I would leave the shop for him to take care of sales.

A friend in Accra always convinced me to come to Accra to do business. He told me business was good and the money was also good. I didn’t need to be told all that because I already knew it. I saw it for myself but didn’t have the will to relocate. Ansah said, “Businesses have to grow to make the owner rich. Come to Accra and you’ll make money.”

Ansah won. One day, I moved everything in my shop, closed it down, and moved to Accra. Ebo didn’t like the idea that I was leaving him behind, but I made him a promise, “I will make it work and come for you soon. Don’t worry.”

Accra was tough, but I proved myself tougher. I started from a phone case at Circle. Two years later, I got a small shop in the armpit of Circle. It was a good start. I knew the end would be greater. It took me three years to scale up and get a proper shop. I had a good stock of phones and accessories. I even added phone repairs to my business.

One day, when Cindy came to have her phone repaired, I took her number and we later became friends. Her sister had a shop nearby, so she came around often until a few weeks later she became my girlfriend. She was that kind of girl who becomes everything when you start dating them. She helped with the shop. She became a receptionist and salesperson when I had to go somewhere.

Ebo was still calling me, asking me about life and when he could join me. Finally, I asked him to come over. I shared a room with him for over a year before I helped him rent a room in the same house that I lived in. On days we didn’t go to work, Cindy would come around and cook for us. We were like the beginning of a great family.

I had a dream to travel out of the country. I met a friend who came with a great idea. He said he knew someone who could help us pass through Libya to Europe. We only had to pay the right fee and we would be in Europe in a very short time.

I saved money. When I gathered enough, my friend and I started a journey to Europe through Libya. That was my greatest mistake in life. It was a treacherous journey where I nearly lost my life. The agent deceived us and used the wrong route. We got robbed at some point and later got arrested in Libya. That’s a whole story for another day.

A month later, when I was released, I decided to return to Ghana. My friend continued but died along the way. I had nothing on me. I called Cindy and asked her to send money so I could return. When she gave me plenty of excuses, I called Ebo. I had left them a healthy business with a sizable stock plus the repairs section. I knew they should at least have a little money to send to me.

Ebo also complained about lack and how badly the shop was doing and how he suffered to feed himself and all that. I stopped calling them because they gave me no hope. The friends I met in Libya encouraged me not to go back to Ghana. They said, “They’ll laugh at you for failing. Let’s find a job here and later continue to Europe.”

I did construction work. I sold petty things to people traveling through the desert. A year later, I knew the terrain so well I was providing guidance for newbies in Libya. I knew connection men who could take you from A to Z. I built friendships with Nigerians who came with money but couldn’t cross the desert out of fear. I helped them and got paid. It was very rough for me, so two years later, I decided I would rather come back to Ghana and start afresh with what I’d earned.

I was in constant contact with Ebo and Cindy. At least, I knew the shop was still thriving and I could revive it. My room had been rented out to a new tenant, but I knew I could share a room with Ebo until I was able to stabilize my life.

I got to Ghana in the evening. I didn’t call any of them to say I was coming. I went to knock on Ebo’s door and it was Cindy who responded. She walked to the door, swiped the curtain aside, and saw my face. She looked like she had seen a ghost. “Kobby!”

It was when I opened the trap door and saw her fully that I realized what was happening. She was heavily pregnant and looked like she was going to give birth the next day. I put my bag down and asked where my cousin was. She said he went to the store and hadn’t returned.

I didn’t question her or act shocked. It had been two years. I didn’t expect to come back and see her still single, but I also didn’t expect to return to see her living with my cousin, let alone pregnant by him.

She was on the phone, so I knew who she was talking to. It took forever for Ebo to come back home. He also didn’t look right. He looked at me like he was seeing a ghost. I said, “Glad to know the shop is still there and you still eat from it. I will spend the night here and find my way out tomorrow.”

I didn’t eat. I didn’t even remove my shoes. I slept on the sofa until early dawn when I took the shop keys and left. At least they did one thing right: they didn’t collapse the shop, for which I was very grateful. The next morning when he came around, I thanked him and told him I couldn’t stay in the shop with him again.

Of course he fought back. “Do you know how much of my money I’ve invested in the shop? There was nothing in here. I bought phones and accessories to fill it up. You can’t sack me until you pay what I’ve invested in the shop. Where were you when the rent expired?”

I told him, “What did you bring from Koforidua? When I was leaving Ghana, what did you have? Oh, magically you started making money by yourself once I was off the scene? Yes, I will give you something, but come back later.”

Nothing had changed in the shop. The only thing he did was sack the repair guy I was working with and replace him with his own friend. I sacked him and called the old repair guy back. I called Ansah, the friend who brought me to Accra. He hugged me like an old friend and said, “Good to have you back. Let’s do it again.”

When I didn’t talk about Cindy’s pregnancy or fight them about it, they were scared I was going to do something. My cousin’s mother called me trying to see if I would mention it. I didn’t. They were not my problem. What my eyes had seen and my body had been through, I had no time to cry about people who didn’t understand loyalty.

My shop is currently thriving while he has traveled back to Koforidua, leaving Cindy and their daughter here. Cindy’s sister was the only one I had a conversation with concerning how they stabbed me in the back. She told me, “I advised Cindy against the idea, but by the time I realized, she was already pregnant. One day she packed her things and left.”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

I told her, “I’m not shocked. It’s life. Things happen. I can always find another woman as long as I have life. I will build again and find another woman. This time, I will stay and build with her.”

So far, so good. I don’t have it all, but I have life and don’t lack. It’s all I need to be grateful.

—Kobby

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******

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I’m a 30-year-old man in a relationship with a 28-year-old woman. Twelve months ago, a friend invited me to his friend’s birthday party, and that’s where I met her. Maybe it was her weird laughter that made her different from the rest, but I was drawn to her the minute I saw her.

We spoke all night, and I asked for her number after dropping her at her house. We spoke every day, and after 3 months of practising how to ask her out, I finally did. She said yes.

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She’s kind, considerate, thoughtful, beautiful, and very intelligent with a great sense of humour. She would text or call to say she has a pimple, or her nail broke, or she doesn’t know what to wear. She’d plan hangouts and send me TikTok videos suggesting things couples do for fun because, according to her, I never took the initiative.

At some point, I felt she was needy and overbearing. She always wanted to talk to me. She would ask why I didn’t call when I said I would. The fact that I mostly spent time with my friends was a problem for her.

Yes, I love hanging out with my friends, driving around town, and arguing over soccer. That’s just who I am.

One day we had an argument because I didn’t do something I said I was going to do. In the heat of the moment, I said she behaves like a “headmistress”.

And suddenly, everything changed.

She doesn’t complain about anything anymore. She doesn’t ask to see me or hang out. She doesn’t even notice if we don’t talk the whole day. She’s either going out with her friends or going to the movies by herself.

The other day, I found out on her status that she spent a day at Aburi Gardens by herself, and I didn’t even know. She doesn’t complain if I view her status without replying to her messages. She doesn’t show me her outfits or ask to see mine. She doesn’t call or text when I hang out with my friends because, as she says, she knows I’m fine.

She doesn’t start conversations anymore, but when I do, she acts as if everything is fine. She hasn’t done or said anything to suggest there’s another man or that she’s no longer interested in what we have.

We haven’t seen each other in 2 months, though we don’t live too far apart, and I miss us. I miss her. I miss the petty fights and yapping and small gossip. I miss waking up to 12 messages about her dream, her pimple, and her annoying coworker. I miss feeling wanted

I used to think she was too much. Now I realise she was just loving me the way she knew how. She wanted my time, my attention, and my effort. And instead of appreciating it, I called her a headmistress and made her feel like a burden.

Now she’s given me exactly what I asked for: space and peace. And I hate it. How do I bring back the spark in my relationship? My friends aren’t helping. We all say stuff about relationships not being a big deal, but I want to keep this one.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

Has anyone been in this situation? How did you fix it?

I’m starting to think I took her for granted, and now she’s done trying. How do I show her I was wrong without sounding desperate? Or is it too late?

—Noah

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When we were dating, there were so many promises. We believed we were meant to be together forever. At one point, I travelled to a remote farming community deep in the country just to meet her parents and express my intent to marry their daughter. It felt sacred, like the beginning of something real.

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But after a year and a half, just when the marriage process was about to begin, things started falling apart. I was in denial. I loved her deeply. I wanted her to be the mother of my children. But things weren’t going as planned. The signs were clear, yet I kept trying, pouring everything into a relationship that was already slipping away. I was exhausted. In the end, I had to let go.

I had invested so much: money, time, and energy, and that made the breakup even harder. Healing was brutal, especially when I had to follow the no-contact rule. No calls, no texts, no checking up on her. I burnt our pictures and slowly deleted the ones on my devices. It was painful, but I accepted the truth. We weren’t going to be together. The road had ended. My sacrifices were gone.

A year and a half later, we crossed paths at a religious event. She still had a cordial relationship with some members of my family, so I wasn’t surprised to see her chatting with my mum, smiling like nothing had changed. I couldn’t ignore them. It would’ve been strange to walk past my own mother. So I greeted them both and waited at a distance.

After that encounter, I realized I had truly moved on from something I once thought I’d never recover from. My emotions had settled. I had no desire to rekindle anything. I even told my mum not to ask about her again. I didn’t want to know what she was doing with her life. I had moved on. Or so I thought.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

Now and then, we bump into each other in the streets. Apparently, she lives nearby. And every time it happens, the atmosphere shifts. My heart races. Memories of our time together rush in like a wave, and I become restless until she’s out of sight. We exchange basic greetings and move on. I thought I had healed, but I don’t know how to explain this lingering feeling. I don’t hate her, but I don’t like how her presence makes me feel.

I’ve been through breakups before, but this one feels different. Strange.

—David

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I’m in charge of collecting the electricity bills in our house. We are three tenants in all. The last person to join us moved in alone at first. She introduced herself to us as Linda. Later, she brought her two children to join her. When I saw the kids, I hoped she had taught them about managing water.

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I was worried because the house uses a water pump. We don’t have a water tank or reservoir. So whenever anyone turns on the tap, the machine automatically starts running. This directly affects our electricity bills. And as the person in charge of collecting and paying the bills, I feel responsible for managing the water as well.

That’s why when I saw Linda’s children playing with the water pump, I politely spoke to them about how to use it properly. I let them understand that if the machine gets damaged, we’ll all suffer the consequences. The next thing I knew, their mother’s boyfriend was giving me an earful about controlling these children.

It all started when Linda didn’t pay last month’s water and electricity bills. The cost was 40 cedis and 70 cedis respectively. Usually, I use my own money to buy the prepaid credit for electricity and my co-tenants refund me with their parts. So the money Linda hadn’t paid was my money.

In the middle of the month, I was down financially. I was also tired of asking Linda for my money. So I texted her boyfriend. He is the one who rented the room for her. All I did was remind him that I hadn’t received a payment for the utility bills.

He said he forgot and that he would be at the house over the weekend with the money. The weekend passed, and he didn’t show up. When I saw Linda’s eldest child playing around, I asked her to remind her mother that the bills were still unpaid.

Within minutes, I received a phone call from Linda’s boyfriend. He sounded so angry.

“Why did you tell the child we owe you?”

I felt very bad because I wasn’t looking for trouble. I just wanted my money back. It doesn’t seem like a lot of money but I was down to nothing.

While he was ranting he said, “When I am not around, you control the children whenever they’re using the water. But you are disturbing us to pay the bill.”

That statement hurt me deeply. I didn’t mean any harm. Was I supposed to let the children play with the machine carelessly?

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

Before they moved in, we spent over 4,000 cedis to fix that machine. All they have to do is pay 40 cedis a month but it turned into a problem.

Although I apologised to the man for involving the kids, I don’t like the way he spoke to me. I only did what I believed was right. I’ve never disturbed anyone for payment before. They usually bring it at their own convenience. Was I wrong to send Linda and her man constant reminders when they delayed payment?

—Diana

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", "keywords": "All, Wanted, Was, Money", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2680.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/all-i-wanted-was-my-money/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-07 03:07:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "94987", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Used My Connections to Save His Career But His Response Made Me End It", "title_slug": "i-used-my-connections-to-save-his-career-but-his-response-made-me-end-it", "title_hash": "80970bbabb5e9f37ede13ade2ab40a7c", "summary": "When we met, he was driving a very nice car. He came to my house with the car and talked a lot about what he had to go through to …", "content": "

When we met, he was driving a very nice car. He came to my house with the car and talked a lot about what he had to go through to buy it. He would take me out and bring me back. He proposed in the third week, but I said no because I wanted to study him for a while.

He was consistent in the ways he showed love and said he wanted to marry me as soon as I said yes. I agreed at some point because I had come to love him. He was a quiet person, which I had problems with, but I overlooked that side and loved him because of how he consistently showed that he loved me.

Before he came into my life, there was this man who was trying to make me his girlfriend. He is an old and wealthy man with a lot of influence. This man gave me money and, whenever we went out, he introduced me to important people. I had said no to his proposal, but because I was still single, I kept hanging around him so I could have free money and also meet influential people through him.

I thought I was being honest and transparent, so I told Akwasi, my boyfriend, “There’s this man, George, who’s just a friend, but he has proposed to me and I said no. He calls often, but I’m finding a way to let him down slowly. I don’t want to lose him because of his influence, but now that I have you, I will slowly and respectfully let him fade off the scene.”

This is the beginning of my woes. Akwasi would come to my house, and I would get a call. It would be anyone at all, but he would ask me to tell him everything the person said to me. If it was George calling, he would ask me to put him on loudspeaker.

Akwasi called after work, and there was a call waiting. He kept calling until I asked the person I was talking with to excuse me. When I picked up his call, he asked, “Who are you on the phone with?” “A friend,” I answered. He said, “Merge the call. I want to hear what he’s telling you.”

It turned into a huge argument, so I told him I would cut the person’s call so I could speak with him. He said I should call the person back and add him to the call. The relationship was only six months old. He concluded, “That’s what you do, and later you tell me you’re cutting them off slowly, but you never do.”

This guy talked about money, yet gave me nothing. He would come to my house, and I would cook for him, serve him, and clean up after him like he was my husband. I would go to his house and do the same thing there, but he would never give me money. I’m also the kind of woman who never asks a man for money, so when my car had issues, I intentionally told him, “My steering rack is giving me issues. The mechanic says I should pay this much.”

He would only say, “Hmmmm,” and watch me fix my car, and would later call to ask how the car was doing. The red flags kept flying, but I always made excuses for him.

He came to have issues at the place he was working. It’s one of the top government institutions. He was on the verge of losing his position because of the politics there. When he told me, I said I knew one of their top bosses I could speak to so he could fix the situation for him. Me and my big mouth. That man I was talking about, Boakye, also wanted a relationship with me, but because I said no, the relationship I had with him died down. However, because I wanted Akwasi to keep his job, I picked up the phone and called Boakye.

Akwasi was there with me when I was talking to Boakye on the phone on loudspeaker. I put what I needed nicely before him, and he said, “When I wanted you, you said no to me, but now you’re asking me to help your boyfriend, right?” I laughed and said, “Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s my uncle’s first son. The situation at home is hard, so losing that position will bring a lot of hardship.”

Finally, Boakye agreed to help and asked me when I was going to see him. I answered I would see him soon when I was around his office. I had to even cut the conversation short so it didn’t go deeper. It took less than two weeks for Akwasi’s position to be restored. Three months later, he asked me, “So what did you give to the man after he helped me?”

I understood the implication of his question, but I played dumb. “That man has everything, so what can I give to repay him?” He said, “Are you sure you didn’t do anything crazy?”

This conversation ended in a fight, and he later apologized.

I don’t know how this guy got access to my phone. One day he blew up, asking questions only a person who had gone through my phone could ask. Questions about the conversation I had with my best friend, questions about George and why he called me sweetheart, and then about Eric and why he called me dear and said he had missed me. Age-old conversations I had with my brother even popped up.

I told myself, “Naaa, this won’t work. I have to walk away.” So when, out of anger, he accused me of sleeping with Boakye to get his position restored, I told him, “Who are you that I would waste my vagina on? Did you buy the air I breathe?”

I couldn’t take it anymore, so I broke up with him then and there. For weeks, this guy came begging and promising a better version of himself. I forgave him and took him back.

He was no longer using the car I saw him using. He was telling me he needed to rent a different apartment when he had already told me the place he lived belonged to him. It turned out the car he said he suffered to buy belonged to his elder brother. Same with where he was living. He had issues with his brother, so his brother took the car from him and asked him to leave his house.

He told me he was thirty-six when we met. It turned out he was only thirty-one, just two years older than me. I had told him I wouldn’t date a young guy my age, so he lied to get a yes from me. I forgave all these things. Because he didn’t have a permanent place, he often came to my place to spend the day or the night sometimes.

He came one afternoon and said he was hungry. I asked him to go to the fridge, take the stew, heat it, and eat it with the rice I had already cooked. He insisted I do it for him, and I said I was tired. He said, “What do you mean you’re tired? How do you expect me to go to the kitchen when you’re there sleeping? Would you say that to those men of yours?”

I got up from the sofa, opened the door, and asked him to leave my house. I was a girl possessed. I acted like a witch whose daughter had been eaten by another witch. If he had tried to fight, I would have fought him. “Get out of my house and never come here again. You think I’m your slave?”

I pushed him out and locked the door to my heart. I’m not the crying type, but I cried a little. I needed to cry out the pain of allowing him to mess with my life that way.

He’s still standing at the door knocking, asking for one more chance. Telling me he’s ready to work on his weakness to become a better man for me. I’ve never blocked anyone in my life, but I warned him, “You’ll be the first person I’ll block the next time you call or text me.”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

His office is not far from mine, so he comes around pretending to be talking to his friends there just so he can get the opportunity to say hi to me. He’s the one suffering now, and I’m glad I could hand over the suffering baton to him.

—Dora

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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The Supreme Court opens its 2025-2026 term on Monday, Oct. 6.

If the early lineup of cases is any indication, the Court’s conservative majority plans to pick up where it left off last term in rolling back bodily autonomy and democratic norms. Three cases in particular are demonstrative of how conservative legal advocates are working hand-in-hand with the conservatives on the Roberts Court to further enshrine a conservative, Christian worldview into the U.S. Constitution.

All three cases come from the Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF), a Christian nationalist legal group. The cases it petitioned the Court to address this year will litigate constitutional arguments around conversion therapy, transgender athletes, and “crisis pregnancy centers.”

(Listen now: The Supreme Court Gears Up For Another Unprecedented Term)

1. Conversion therapy

The first case to watch is Chiles v. Salazar, a case challenging Colorado’s ban on conversion therapy. Colorado is one of 23 states, along with Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico, that bans conversion therapy, an umbrella term for the practice of trying to change someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

Colorado’s 2019 law, like many others nationwide, prohibits state-licensed mental health professionals from attempting to change a minor’s sexual orientation or gender identity, but does not apply to non-licensed religious counselors.

It includes a clause that allows providers to help young people explore their sexual orientation or gender identity ethically by offering “acceptance, support, and understanding for the facilitation of an individual’s coping, social support, and identity exploration and development” as long as counselors do not “seek to change [the patient’s] sexual orientation or gender identity.”

In 2022, a Christian therapist named Kaley Chiles sued Colorado, saying its conversation therapy ban violates the First Amendment because it is a viewpoint-based restriction on her speech. ADF attorney Erin Hawley represents Chiles in her case.

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals, which hears appeals from Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Utah, ruled against Chiles in September 2024. It upheld a lower court decision finding that Colorado’s ban regulates conduct—that is, the particular practices associated with conversion therapy—not speech.

Nationwide, federal courts have split on the question of whether bans on conversion therapy regulate speech or conduct.

Like the 10th Circuit, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in 2022 held that these types of bans regulate conduct. The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals found the opposite, ruling that bans on conversation therapy do target speech as an unconstitutional viewpoint-based restriction and therefore violate the First Amendment. The 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals in 2014 found that a New Jersey ban also targets speech, but they classified it as professional speech thus making it subject to a lower constitutional standard.

This deepening split creates an opening ripe for Supreme Court intervention.

In 2023, the justices declined to take a case out of Washington that is almost identical to Chiles, Tingley v. Ferguson. Thomas, Alito, and Kavanaugh all dissented, indicating that they would have granted review and heard the case in order to strike down Washington’s ban on conversion therapy.

Arguments in Chiles v. Salazar begin Oct. 7. A decision is not expected until June. A broad ruling on behalf of Chiles and the Alliance Defending Freedom here could threaten to strike down not just Colorado’s conversion therapy ban, but similar laws nationwide.

2. Trans athletes

The second Alliance Defending Freedom case the Court has teed up, West Virginia v. B.P.J., involves the issue of access to school sports for transgender athletes.

A West Virginia law—the Save Women’s Sports Act—bars trans girls from participating in all-girls’ sports teams from middle school through college. In 2021 the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) challenged the law on behalf of Becky Pepper-Jackson, West Virginia’s only openly transgender athlete.

The ACLU argued that West Virginia’s ban violates both Title IX of the Civil Rights Act—which prohibits sex-based discrimination in any education program that receives federal funding—and the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution, because it categorically excludes transgender girls from participating in certain sports or teams.

The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, which hears cases from West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, and South Carolina, agreed with the ACLU and blocked West Virginia’s ban.

In July 2024, West Virginia, with ADF’s help, asked the Supreme Court to step in. The justices agreed to do so in July 2025, almost a full year after West Virginia’s request was first filed. The case is not yet scheduled for argument.

If the ADF prevails in this challenge, the Supreme Court could greenlight laws nationwide that direct sports teams be based on biological sex. It could even create a pathway for excluding transgender athletes from school sports entirely, including in states without trans athlete bans, if sports leagues fall into line with the law.

3. Anti-abortion ‘pregnancy centers’

The third Alliance Defending Freedom case on the Court’s docket is a bit of a sleeper, but it has potentially significant consequences.

First Choice Women’s Resource Centers v. Platkin involves a fight between so-called “crisis pregnancy centers” and the New Jersey Attorney General’s Office. The question the Court will answer in Platkin is whether the federal court has the power to rule on a claim by one of those anti-abortion center networks, the First Choice Women’s Resource Centers.

The group argues that a New Jersey subpoena seeking its fundraising records violates its First Amendment rights. Typically, state courts resolve fights over state-issued subpoenas. First Choice and the ADF are looking to create an exception to that rule as a way to avoid complying with New Jersey Attorney General Matthew Platkin’s subpoena.

The state attorney general’s office in 2023 began investigating whether the group was violating New Jersey consumer protection laws by misleading donors and potential clients into believing they were providing “certain reproductive health-care services.” First Choice challenged the subpoena in federal court, but the district court dismissed the challenge, holding that only a state court has the power to enforce or block a state-issued subpoena.

The following year a divided panel of judges on the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals—which hears cases from Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey, and the U.S. Virgin Islands—upheld the district court’s ruling and dismissed the case. First Choice then petitioned the Supreme Court, which granted review in June 2025. A date for argument has not yet been set.

If successful, ADF’s case will dim one of the only remaining powers states have to investigate fraud allegations surrounding “crisis pregnancy centers” by creating a new First Amendment objection to subpoenas in those investigations.

What else is on SCOTUS’ docket

This term the justices will also hear challenges to the Voting Rights Act, and decide what limits, if any, President Donald Trump has to fire independent agency officials. This is all fresh off a summer of shadow docket rulings issued by the justices, which largely endorsed many of this administration’s most appalling policies, including violent and patently discriminatory immigration raids.

This October also marks Chief Justice John Roberts 20th year at the Court. Under his leadership, corporations have gained unprecedented legal rights, through Citizens United v. F.E.C. and Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores. Voting has become more difficult and elections are more racist following the Court’s unraveling of the Voting Rights Act and states’ subsequent gerrymandering.

Then there’s the human rights crisis unleashed by overturning Roe v. Wade three years ago. We haven’t witnessed the full devastation from that decision yet.

Under Roberts’ watch, the very legitimacy of the Supreme Court is unravelling—new polling shows it’s never been less trusted—along with our democratic norms. Roberts, who famously promised during his confirmation hearing to only “call balls and strikes, not to pitch or bat,” instead will likely see his tenure go down in history alongside Chief Justice Roger Taney as one of the Court’s most partisan and destructive eras ever.

And he’ll have no one but himself to blame.

The post Supreme Court Could Gut Abortion, LGBTQ Protections With These 3 Cases—Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"attracting$ To attract top caliber girls, you need more than inner value. You must master the art of showcasing it – because the best opportunities are selective.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Whats, Take, Get, Top, Caliber, Girls, Crazy, Into, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/top-caliber-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/whats-it-take-get-top-caliber-girls-crazy-you", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-07 02:36:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "94353", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Prime Big Deal Days Spotlight: Vitamix 5200 Blender", "title_slug": "prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-vitamix-5200-blender", "title_hash": "8094a536634047e4b19553e368127089", "summary": "Take $150 Off the Most Popular Blender on the Market", "content": "Kitchen appliances are an underrated shopping category during major savings events, mostly because people are too caught up in looking at big screen TVs and overpowered gaming rigs, but quality kitchen gear doesn't come cheap, so savings here can go a long way. That's especially true for well made products, as these tend to last a very long time if properly maintained.\r\nCase in point: a quality blender. If you want to upgrade your cooking skills and tackle things like soups, sauces, homemade ice cream and the endless variety of smoothies out there, you're going to need a quality blender, and this model from Vitamix checks all the boxes. \r\nRELATED: Prime Big Deal Days: Tech Deals\r\nAct quickly, though, because this deal is very much limited by the fast-dwindling supply.\r\nVitamix 5200 Blender\r\n\r\nWith an oversized, 64-ounce container (BPA-free, naturally), stainless-steel blades and a wickedly effective self-cleaning function, it's no wonder the 5200 blender from Vitamix is such a fan favorite. The 1380-watt motor offers 10 variable speed settings, allowing you tackle anything from crushed ice and hard nuts to frozen fruit and fibrous produce and still achieve your desired texture. \r\nThis blender also makes an amazing gift for new parents, as the ability to create your own juices and purées not only helps provide nutritious, easily digestible meals for babies but also helps cut down on the cost of pre-made baby foods. \r\n$499.95 $349.95 at Amazon.com\r\nShop more Prime Big Deal Days deals and stack your savings by exploring our coverage of Amazon's biggest sale event of the year.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nPrime Day: Best Grooming DealsPrime Day: Best Fashion DealsPrime Day: Best Fitness Deals", "keywords": "Prime, Big, Deal, Days, Spotlight:, Vitamix, 5200, Blender", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/deals/home-deals/prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-vitamix-5200-blender/prime-day-2025-2x1-1759756369.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/deals/home-deals/prime-big-deal-days-spotlight-vitamix-5200-blender.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-07 02:36:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "94354", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Lose Your Love Handles", "title_slug": "how-to-lose-your-love-handles", "title_hash": "dce90096620664fee9afdfc8c1d8ef8c", "summary": "Traditional ab exercises won't cut it.", "content": "One of the most common insecurities among men is also one of the most common physique problems facing people in the age of fast food and sedentary work: belly fat. Most men store excess fat in their stomachs, before they store it in their arms or legs, and while a little bit of tummy fat isn't a problem, too much can result in unsightly \"love handles\" that are visible even from the front.\r\nAnd lest you think we're just being vain, please understand: high belly fat is associated with a raft of negative health outcomes, from increased risk of cancer, coronary heart disease, and even dementia. A famous study from The New England Journal of Medicine found that waist size and mortality rates were directly correlated: the larger the waist, the worse the mortality rate.\r\nMen, in particular, have reason to be concerned, because obesity seems to cause a drop in testosterone levels, and not only for middle-aged men but for young boys, as well. Larger stomachs have also been linked to sexual dysfunction: in one study, fully 79 percent of men seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction were also obese, and the relationship between obesity and sexual dysfunction was linear: greater stomach fat was linked to between 1.5 and 3 times greater risk of erectile dysfunction than is found in the general population.\r\nRELATED: How to Speed Up Your Metabolism\r\nOK, so message received, right? You don't like how your love handles look, and you certainly don't want to contemplate all of the damage that excess fat is doing to your organs, your hormones, or your sexual function. But what do you do about it?\r\nOur handy guide is designed to give you the knowledge and tools you need to drop body fat and lose the love handles.\r\n\r\nHow to Lose Love Handles\r\n\r\nYour love handles are largely just excess body fat, and that means you need to lose body fat to get rid of them. How much weight loss will vary from person to person. Because men typically store fat in the stomach first, that region is also the last place to lose weight if you're also storing body fat in your arms and legs, for example. In other words, the more overweight you are, the more weight you're going to have to drop before you can kiss your love handles goodbye.\r\nYour main focus, then, is on creating a sustained calorie deficit through a combination of diet and exercise, with special emphasis on diet. You may have heard this before, but it's so true that it's worth repeating: you can't out-train a bad diet. If you're regularly consuming more calories than you're burning, you will gain weight. If you don't create a caloric deficit, you will never lose weight. And as much as we love exercise, even Olympic athletes can easily consume more calories than they burn, if they aren't careful.\r\nBelow, we detail how you're going to use a two-pronged approach to weight loss, involving adjusting your diet and streamlining your exercise routine. Follow our advice and you'll be dropping weight in no time.\r\nRELATED: How to Set Realistic Weight Loss Goals\r\n\r\nThe Dieting Approach to Losing Weight\r\n\r\n\r\nDiet is king when it comes to weight loss, so you need to be accurate and consistent in what you eat. If you're serious about losing weight, trust us when we say your journey begins in the kitchen and not the gym. But where do you begin?\r\n#1 – Figure Out Your Maintenance Calories \r\nThis is the number of calories your body needs each day just to maintain your current weight. You can figure this out in one of two ways: you can either track all of the food you eat in a typical day and arrive at an approximation of your maintenance calories, or you can opt to use a maintenance calorie calculator, like this one from the Mayo Clinic.\r\n#2 – Create a Caloric Deficit \r\nWeight loss is nothing more than a sustained caloric deficit, so all you have to do is consistently burn more calories than you consume. Here's where most people get it dramatically wrong: instead of making small, sustainable changes and being patient, they go over-the-top from day one, cutting in excess of 1,000 calories from their daily consumption. If you do this, you will lose weight... but you'll also almost certainly \"crash\" from this unsustainable diet, and end up binge eating until you've regained all the weight. Take a more long-term approach by cutting only 500 calories from your daily intake (or 1,000 if you're very overweight).\r\n#3 – Track Your Calories \r\nYou don't need to be a tyrant with yourself, taking a food scale to restaurants, but you should know roughly how many calories you're consuming in each meal, so that you're always hitting your daily calorie goals. If you think you've got a handle on this, great, but if not, a food scale combined with some home cooking is a great asset, because it's really hard to estimate how many calories are in restaurant foods, and people new to controlled weight loss are notoriously bad at estimating how many calories are in their scoop of peanut butter or dropping of olive oil, for example. You can also log these details into a diet and fitness app.\r\n#4 – Increase Your Protein Intake: \r\nProtein is highly thermogenic, which means your body actually needs to burn calories to break it down. It's also satiating: 200 calories of chicken breast is a lot more filling than 200 calories of sugary soda. Because you're fighting not only thermodynamics (calories in, calories out) but human psychology (cravings, cravings, cravings!), you're going to want a diet that leaves you feeling full and satisfied, and for most people, increasing protein intake is a great diet hack to put the brakes on hunger.\r\n#5 – Regularly Weigh Yourself \r\nIt's very important that you get a sense of your progression, and because there are so many variables involved in weight loss, knowing how much weight you're losing and how quickly is useful knowledge for tweaking your diet and exercise routine. Be consistent in your measurements, too: always weigh yourself in the mornings, on an empty stomach, and don't freak out if the day-to-day numbers vary. It's often more useful to find a 7-day average, as that will account for variables like bloating.\r\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out?\r\n\r\nThe Exercise Approach to Losing Weight\r\n\r\n\r\nExercise is a massively important tool in any good weight loss regime, and it comes in two main categories: cardiovascular exercise and weight training. Both are important to incorporate, but for different reasons.\r\nThe main benefit to cardiovascular work (apart from all of the benefits of improving your circulatory system and staving off cardiovascular disease, of course!) is that the immediate calorie burn is greater than with regular weight lifting. In other words, 30 minutes spent on a treadmill, elliptical, or rowing machine will burn more calories than the equivalent amount of time spent lifting weights.\r\nThat doesn't mean weight lifting is useless, though. Far from it. Muscle is very physiologically taxing, requiring a lot of calories to maintain, so if you can increase your muscle mass, you can divert more of your daily calorie intake into building and maintaining your muscle mass, rather than being stored as fat tissue.\r\nCardio Workouts\r\nYour cardio routine should accomplish some basic things: it should accustom you to training your heart and lungs, it should burn enough calories to help you meet your daily calorie deficit goal, and it should increase your capacity to do physical exercise over the long run.\r\nYou don't need to make yourself a marathon runner or Olympic-level swimmer. In fact, you don't even need to run. If you're very out of shape or unaccustomed to training, make walking your go-to exercise, and simply increase the distance you walk each day or week. As with crash dieting, an all-out approach to cardio will almost certainly backfire, either by causing you to injure yourself or by putting you off exercise in general once your motivation starts to run low.\r\nIf you have access to a gym, the elliptical, the rowing machine, and the stationary bike are all excellent, low-impact cardio machines that will allow you to go at your own pace, building up your competence and confidence as you gain experience.\r\nWeight Training Workouts\r\nResistance training is a hugely important tool in your weight-loss toolkit, and a great way to increase your metabolism by building calorie-hungry muscle mass.\r\nIf you're totally new to training, feel free to experiment with bodyweight exercises like pushups, dips, planks, and pullups, but if you have some background in weight lifting, by all means, pick up a barbell. The key here is to moderate your intentions. Since you're aiming for a calorie deficit each day, you shouldn't expect massive gains in size or strength. Rather, you're lifting weights to tax your body and divert some of your daily calorie intake into your muscles rather than your fat cells.\r\nAlso, be realistic about how dutiful you can be. Don't aim for seven days a week if you haven't been able to do five before. Even three days a week is a great starting place, and entirely adequate for helping you to slim down.\r\nFinally, don't focus on core exercises exclusively. The theory of targeted fat loss is a myth: you won't lose more fat in your stomach by training your abs more frequently. But you do need a strong core, to support your weight, improve your posture, and create abs strong and large enough to be seen once you drop the body fat.\r\n\r\nProduct Recommendations\r\n\r\nOzeri Pronto Food Scale\r\n\r\nA food scale is an incredibly useful weight loss tool, because it takes away the guesswork of estimating calorie intake and allows you to be precise in your cooking and eating habits. They're also very cheap, so consider this offering from Ozeri a very worthwhile investment in your health.\r\n$15.77 at Amazon.com\r\nFitbit Charge 6\r\n\r\nNoticing a theme, here? It's important that you be precise, not only in what you eat but in how many calories you burn during exercise or even non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT), like taking a long walk. The Fitbit Charge 6 is the latest tracker from one of the most reputable names in the industry, incorporating GPS tracking, sleep monitoring, and even a clever stress assessment to help you \r\n$159.95 at Amazon.com\r\nMacroFactor App\r\n\r\n\r\nDigital fitness coaching is taking off, and for good reason: it really helps to have informed guidance at every step of your weight loss journey. MacroFactor takes the mystery out of weight loss by \r\nFrom $5.99 per month at MacroFactor.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Use the Elliptical for Weight Loss\r\n\tHabits of Ripped Men\r\n\tBest Fitness Trackers for Runners", "keywords": "How, Lose, Your, Love, Handles", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/weight_loss/how-to-lose-your-love-handles/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1759759402.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/weight_loss/how-to-lose-your-love-handles.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-07 02:36:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93874", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Prosecutors Charged Hundreds With Pregnancy-Related Child Abuse Crimes Post-‘Dobbs,’ Research Shows", "title_slug": "prosecutors-charged-hundreds-with-pregnancy-related-child-abuse-crimes-post-dobbs-research-shows", "title_hash": "7e860f9e572e2505c9cd16750273a7e0", "summary": "Nearly three dozen cases were brought against people who miscarried or delivered stillborns, a Pregnancy Justice report found.\nThe post Prosecutors Charged Hundreds With Pregnancy-Related Child Abuse Crimes Post-‘Dobbs,’ Research Shows appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

More than 400 people were charged with pregnancy-related crimes during the two years after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned federal abortion rights, research released Tuesday shows.

Prosecutors across the country often charged people with some form of child neglect, endangerment, or abuse based on allegations of substance use during pregnancy, according to an annual report from the nonprofit Pregnancy Justice.

Nearly three dozen cases were brought against people who miscarried or delivered stillborns, and in nine cases, pregnant people were accused of obtaining, attempting, or researching abortion.

“Prosecutors are wielding criminal laws to surveil and criminalize pregnant people, their behavior, and their pregnancy outcomes,” Dana Sussman, Pregnancy Justice’s senior vice president, told States Newsroom.

Although charges against those experiencing pregnancy loss are less common, Sussman said she fears they could lead people to avoid seeking miscarriage care.

For instance, a woman who miscarried at home was charged with abuse of a corpse in September 2023, Ohio Capital Journal reported.

Brittany Watts was around 21 weeks pregnant when she went to the hospital but waited for hours and didn’t get help, according to the Capital Journal, and after she miscarried at home, she returned to the hospital, where staff called police. She was never indicted, and she filed a federal lawsuit in January against the city of Warren, police, hospital officials, and hospital staff.

“Rather than being able to grieve her loss, she was taken away in handcuffs. She was interrogated in her hospital bed while she was still tethered to IVs, and so she wants compensation for her own trauma, but most importantly, wants to make sure that this doesn’t happen to anyone else,” Rachel Brady, Watts’ attorney, told States Newsroom in June.

Watts’ lawsuit alleges local law enforcement and the hospital violated the Fourth and Fourteenth Amendment and the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act (EMTALA), which requires hospitals that receive Medicare funding to provide stabilizing medical treatment regardless of a person’s ability to pay or insurance status. The defendants denied liability and the plaintiff’s claims, according to court documents filed in September.

In this year’s report, pregnancy-related cases cropped up in 16 states, and states with strict abortion bans topped the list again: Alabama (192), Oklahoma (112), and South Carolina (62).

“If you are doing anything that exposes your pregnancy, your fetus to some real risk, perceived or assumed risk, in certain parts of the country, that is a felony,” Sussman said.

Fetal “personhood”—the notion that fetuses, zygotes, and embryos should have the same legal rights as human beings—comes into play when pregnant people struggling with addiction are drug tested during checkups or at labor and delivery units, Sussman said.

“In several states, it’s become relatively common practice for people to be charged with a felony for child endangerment or neglect for simply testing positive” on toxicology tests, Sussman said. “And that carries years in prison, and of course, immediate family separation from your newborn and even from your other children in your home, in your family.”

An investigation by The Marshall Project, Mississippi Today, and three other news outlets in 2023 found that local law enforcement and prosecutors in Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma, and South Carolina applied child abuse and neglect laws to fetuses when pursuing charges against pregnant women.

Lawmakers in a few states have pitched legislation seeking to curb punitive approaches to addiction among expectant and new mothers.

A bill advancing in the New York legislature would require informed consent for drug testing and screening pregnant and postpartum patients unless it’s medically necessary. Legislation took effect in Washington state this summer that prevents the criminalization of pregnancy loss, and requires officials at jails, prisons, and immigrant detention centers to report miscarriages and stillbirths to the state annually. Massachusetts legislators passed a law in December that prevents medical professionals from automatically referring substance-exposed newborns to the state Department of Children and Families.

Prosecutors obtained information about pregnancy-related crimes from health-care facilities in 264 out of 412 cases, even in incidents that did not allege substance use, according to the Pregnancy Justice report.

“If people are worrying about losing their children because of family separation through the child welfare system or by going to jail, they are not going to get the care that they need,” Sussman said. “Pregnancy is seen as a moment and a window of opportunity for people to get care. People are motivated, uniquely motivated, and we really squander that opportunity when we turn health care into a place of reporting.”

This article was republished from News From the States, part of States Newsroom. Read the original story by Elisha Brown here.

The post Prosecutors Charged Hundreds With Pregnancy-Related Child Abuse Crimes Post-‘Dobbs,’ Research Shows appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Prosecutors, Charged, Hundreds, With, Pregnancy-Related, Child, Abuse, Crimes, Post-‘Dobbs,’, Research, Shows", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "85", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/arrested_YPiotrLatacha-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/06/prosecutors-charged-hundreds-with-pregnancy-related-child-abuse-crimes-post-dobbs-research-shows/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 08:25:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93392", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After Hours Street Game: Why It's AWESOME (Part 1)", "title_slug": "after-hours-street-game-why-its-awesome-part-1", "title_hash": "7a79d728d82f4c51918e74f64030c2c4", "summary": "Night game after the clubs close is full of mostly untapped potential. This guide reveals how to master after hour street game for surprising results.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"after$ Night game after the clubs close is full of mostly untapped potential. This guide reveals how to master after hour street game for surprising results.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "After, Hours, Street, Game:, Why, Its, AWESOME, Part", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/after-hours-street-game-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/after-hours-street-game-why-its-awesome-part-1", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93391", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Raising Your Abundance Levels Through \"Hot Girl Immersion\"", "title_slug": "raising-your-abundance-levels-through-hot-girl-immersion", "title_hash": "f73640a03c74b14a7778c60fc867a75b", "summary": "Boost your dating abundance mentality by immersing yourself among attractive women. True confidence stems not just from skill, but access and opportunity.\nIn the world of getting girls, we talk about abundance mentality a lot.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"hot$ Boost your dating abundance mentality by immersing yourself among attractive women. True confidence stems not just from skill, but access and opportunity.

In the world of getting girls, we talk about abundance mentality a lot.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Raising, Your, Abundance, Levels, Through, Hot, Girl, Immersion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/10/hot-girl-immersion-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/raising-your-abundance-levels-through-hot-girl-immersion", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93390", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Women Are Attracted To Men Who Don’t Need Them…", "title_slug": "why-women-are-attracted-to-men-who-dont-need-them", "title_hash": "cd38de37e6fb4807561405475765da56", "summary": "It sounds backwards, but it’s real, and most men never figure out why. It doesn’t make sense at…", "content": "It sounds backwards, but it’s real, and most men never figure out why. It doesn’t make sense at…", "keywords": "Why, Women, Are, Attracted, Men, Who, Don’t, Need, Them…", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Gemini_Generated_Image_ma4olema4olema4o-e1759502191551.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/why-women-are-attracted-to-men-who-dont-need-them/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93389", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Signs She’s Craving More Affection Than She Gets", "title_slug": "7-signs-shes-craving-more-affection-than-she-gets", "title_hash": "e2a342539142bd5c0554aa9b0992b639", "summary": "She doesn’t always say it. She just starts acting different. It doesn’t happen in one big fight. It…", "content": "She doesn’t always say it. She just starts acting different. It doesn’t happen in one big fight. It…", "keywords": ", Signs, She’s, Craving, More, Affection, Than, She, Gets", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/emotional-distance-e1755717904154.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-signs-shes-craving-more-affection-than-she-gets/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93388", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Psychology tricks to get her to like you", "title_slug": "10-psychology-tricks-to-get-her-to-like-you", "title_hash": "03dbc6b31c5354611d88b2d76b0e3152", "summary": "Not gonna lie, sometimes it feels impossible to tell if someone’s into you or just being polite. It’s…", "content": "Not gonna lie, sometimes it feels impossible to tell if someone’s into you or just being polite. It’s…", "keywords": ", Psychology, tricks, get, her, like, you", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/psychology-tricks.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-psychology-tricks-to-get-her-to-like-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93387", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Find and Stimulate the Male G-Spot", "title_slug": "how-to-find-and-stimulate-the-male-g-spot", "title_hash": "d084315ccf4d02f9bcf038a743277633", "summary": "If you’ve trained yourself to be more of a giver than a receiver, then it’s highly likely your partner applauds your dedication to their pleasure.\r\nWhile being a selfless lover often ensures your partner’s happiness, both in and outside of the bedroom, knowing your own erotic triggers and zones is crucial, too. Why? As much as your significant other enjoys your attention to detail, endurance and curious, ambitious nature to improve your sexual repertoire, she also wants to make sure you’re satisfied, too.\r\nRELATED: How to Massage the Prostate\r\nYou probably have your go-to blow job requests, certain sexual positions that really turn you on, but have you ever ventured into an unknown zone that you’ve never considered, well, erotic? You might have to be brave, but trust us, once you allow yourself to explore your own G-spot, you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of before.\r\nWhile homosexual men definitely are open to this area, heterosexual men can easily encourage their female partners t", "content": "If you’ve trained yourself to be more of a giver than a receiver, then it’s highly likely your partner applauds your dedication to their pleasure.\r\nWhile being a selfless lover often ensures your partner’s happiness, both in and outside of the bedroom, knowing your own erotic triggers and zones is crucial, too. Why? As much as your significant other enjoys your attention to detail, endurance and curious, ambitious nature to improve your sexual repertoire, she also wants to make sure you’re satisfied, too.\r\nRELATED: How to Massage the Prostate\r\nYou probably have your go-to blow job requests, certain sexual positions that really turn you on, but have you ever ventured into an unknown zone that you’ve never considered, well, erotic? You might have to be brave, but trust us, once you allow yourself to explore your own G-spot, you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of before.\r\nWhile homosexual men definitely are open to this area, heterosexual men can easily encourage their female partners to help stimulate their down-there region, similar to how you might suggest anal sex.\r\nFrom using hands and toys to lubricant, here are all the ways to find and stimulate the male G-spot tonight.\r\n\r\nWhat Is the Male G-Spot?\r\n\r\nEveryone has a G-spot, male and female alike. An easy way to think about it is to consider those goosebumps you get on your skin when you’re surprised, a cool air runs through or you get scared. While uncomfortable at first, the sensation itself is enjoyable if you sink into the unfamiliar territory. Those goosebumps come from a shift in your nerve endings, and when you target the G-spot of your body, you’re putting pressure on your most sensitive body part.\r\nSexpert Coleen Singer explains that a german gynecologist named Ernst Gräfenberg was the first to discuss this area, and thus, it’s named after him. This wasn’t until 1950, so if you’re still getting on the bandwagon, you’re likely not alone. “It is commonly thought that a greater concentration of nerve endings are contained in both male and female G-spots which, when stimulated properly, can lead to intense orgasms in both genders,” says Singer.\r\n\r\nWhere Is the G-Spot?\r\n\r\nThere are many ways to ignite the pleasure of the male G-spot (more on that below!) but first, you need to know where it is. Singer explains that you might be surprised to discover this special place is actually located inside of the male prostate. “It’s a gland about the size of a walnut, and it’s located right under a man’s bladder,” she says.\r\nWhen you start to seek it out, proceed with caution and don’t go too hard, too fast.\r\n“The prostate is located behind the anal wall in the direction of your belly button (two to four inches from the sphincter). Be careful! The prostate is very sensitive. Do not poke and prod, instead caress and stroke. Press gently. Use feather-light touches,” says Michael Alvear, founder of CallMeMaybe.us. “You’re looking for a walnut-sized fleshy ball hiding behind the anal wall. Finding it is a little like playing hide-and-seek, only you’re using your finger rather than your eyes.\"\r\n\r\nHow Is the Male G-Spot Different From the Female One?\r\n\r\nWhen you discuss a woman’s G-spot, you’re likely on a mission to not only find the sucker, but to work your best at pushing her to the brink of an orgasm.\r\nEvery woman is different on how they react to their G-spot being stimulated — some might find it incredibly intense to the point of where it’s not comfortable, while others encourage their partners to go there as often (and as thoroughly) as they can.\r\nA male’s G-spot is pretty similar, and Singer notes there is little scientific evidence to suggest that big of a difference between the two on either sex.\r\n“The female G-spot a sensitive area of the anterior wall of the vagina believed to be highly erogenous and capable of ejaculation. Also referred to as the Skene's gland and Urethral sponge, the female G-spot, the female prostate as an accepted term. The male prostate is biologically homologous to the Skene's gland, it has been unofficially called the male G-spot because it can also be used as an erogenous zone,” explains Singer. “So, although very little scientific consensus exists on exactly what the female versus male G-spots actually are, they are similar in many regards, most importantly that stimulation of both can lead to explosive orgasms for both men and women.”\r\n\r\nWhy Should You Play With Your G-Spot?\r\n\r\nJust like you appreciate when your partner takes the time to direct you around her body, your female counterpart will enjoy the process of practicing something new on you that will make your orgasms and thus, your sex life, even hotter. Plus, there’s something incredibly sexy and empowering about being unafraid to change the way you get to your personal finish line.\r\nMasturbating has long been thought as a way to not only relieve stress and tension as a solo act, but lead to a more fulfilling sexual intercourse experience because you can maintain endurance and better explain how to turn yourself on.\r\nThe same goes for a G-spot: Why not add another layer of expertise to your already-overflowing sexual database?\r\n“Stimulating the male G-spot can be an intensely empowering experience, whether for a male doing it himself, or a woman giving him a ‘helping hand.’ Sometimes the greatest pleasures are the ones we deny ourselves, and the male G-spot is the forbidden fruit of a man’s erogenous zones,” says Singer. “If you haven’t explored that part of your own anatomy -- maybe you’re used to being on top -- it might be taboo and a bit freaky. And that’s what makes it so hot!\r\n\r\nWhat Your G-Spot Can Help With\r\n\r\nIn addition to benefiting your overall experience under the sheets, massaging and stimulating your G-spot can also help relieve other troubles you could be experiencing. As an example? If you struggle with rising to the, um, challenge and you haven’t been able to find anything that works to maintain your sail, try targeting your attention to that G-spot.\r\n“If you’re both in the mood but he has some performance problems, try massaging his prostate. You might find that the sexual arousal from the G-spot stimulation helps him to relax and get an erection,” notes Singer.\r\n\r\nHow to Gently Stimulate Your G-Spot\r\n\r\nIf you’re still a bit freaked out by exploring past your typical stroking-one-out, then start small. And by small, we mean by simply using your own fingers after your shower to find your area.\r\n“The easiest way to stimulate the male G-spot is to press gently on the skin between his balls and anus, known as the perineum (or, more commonly, the taint). You can do this by yourself when masturbating,” explains Singer.\r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Men\r\nIf you’d like your girlfriend to help you take that initial plunge into the G-spot unknown, have her add her hands while you’re having sex.\r\nAs Singer details, “Your partner can massage this area during sex or apply rhythmic pressure with her fingers to add to your pleasure. Giving this spot extra attention right before you climax will add some mind-blowing intensity to your orgasm.”\r\n\r\nDon’t Be Afraid of Using a Sex Toy on Your G-Spot\r\n\r\nTo no fault of your own, and as no sign that you can’t enjoy G-spot orgasms, some men might not be able to reach their own prostate, simply because their fingers aren’t long enough or your prostate is sitting higher.\r\n“The prostate lies 2 to 4 inches into your rectum (towards your belly button),\" says Alvear. \"If your prostate is positioned higher than average and/or your fingers are shorter than average, it can get a little tricky.”\r\nIf this is the case for you (or even if you just want to use toys rather than your fingers), it's time to go shopping. While you might roll your eyes at the idea, there’s no need for purse-holding in this situation. Instead, set your sights online, where many goodies for your sex toolbox are waiting. In this case, you need to opt for toys that can give you the extra reach back into your G-spot that you (or your partner) can’t reach on their own.\r\nDepending on your flavor, preference and kink level, use one of these vibes to get your party started:\r\nIntro to Prostate Kit\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nSo let's say you're a beginner to this whole G-spot thing and you are a bit nervous. Just like when you have sex for the first time, learning the ropes is part of the process and it is normal to be a little puzzled about how to start your intimate play. That’s why this kit for novices is a great buy. It includes a bubble plug with ripples (so you can control the level of insertion), a curvy plug, a dual penis play-and plug combo and an anal vibe. With all products waterproof, you can have your fun in or out of the shower.\r\n$30 at AdamEve.com\r\nEz-Reach Prostate Probe\r\n\r\nJust as the name suggests, this toy makes getting down to business as easy as a push of a button – literally. Because it is smaller than some of the more traditional anal toys, you can take your time adjusting to this new sensation, with various speeds and motion-control for your comfort. And hey, with a remote, you can give the control to your partner when you’re ready to pass over the reigns.\r\n$21.60 at Amazon.com\r\nAdam's Vibrating Triple Probe\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nFor a different type of experience, consider this toy, specifically shaped to hit your most sensitive (and intense) spots. Easier to control and arguably, a tad less intimidating than a longer toy, this smaller version still packs plenty of vibe. Make sure to use with plenty of lube, for easy – and pleasurable – fun!\r\n$25 at AdamEve.com\r\n#LubeLife Water-Based Lubricant\r\n\r\n\r\nYou never want to have too many ingredients in your lube, especially if you are prone to reactions or conditions. Try this organic lube, specifically made for your backend to make getting going a more seamless, enjoyable experience.\r\n$9.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nWhat If It Doesn’t Feel Any Different?\r\n\r\nJust like you probably struggled with finding her G-spot, you might have trouble finding your own, even when you’re working as a team to stimulate it.\r\nAlvear explains that it’s important that you’re already stimulated in some fashion — aka, turned on! — before you go on the G-spot hunting mission. Why? Just like your penis becomes erect, so does your prostate, and thus, your G-spot is easier to locate.\r\n“During arousal the prostate fills with semen fluid. The closer you get to orgasm the firmer the prostate becomes and the easier it is to find and stroke,” he says. “You can also try different positions. For example, some guys have better luck laying on their left side and putting their right hand behind their back while bending the knee of the top leg.”\r\n\r\nAdd the G-Spot to Oral Sex\r\n\r\nOnce you feel comfortable with where your G-spot is located and how to get yourself going, ask your girlfriend to get in on the dirty work.\r\nOne powerful way to ignite your passion and to have an explosive finish is to do double duty: a blow job and touching your G-spot will send you over the moon. Basically, it’s the same idea of you going down on her and fingering her at the same time, except this time, she’s doing it to you.\r\n“For even better access to the male G-spot, she can insert a finger into your anus. This is a bit more of an advanced technique than pressing on your taint, so it’s important to take precautions to ensure she doesn’t hurt you. These include trimming and filing her nails to avoid scratching you, and making sure your anus is clean (an enema is best) to avoid getting anything ‘unintended’ under her fingernails, which could later spread bacteria,” notes Singer. “And another thing? Be sure to use lots of lube!”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Get Harder Erections\r\n\tStraight Guys Reveal What It's Like to Experiment With Anal\r\n\tHow to Build a DIY Fleshlight", "keywords": "How, Find, and, Stimulate, the, Male, G-Spot", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/male-g-spot/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1759502136.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/male-g-spot.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93385", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What You Should Know About Homophobia", "title_slug": "what-you-should-know-about-homophobia", "title_hash": "fd86059aa7d7880be632ed8c30985a38", "summary": "Homophobia Is All Too Real. Here's How to Combat It, in Yourself and Others", "content": "Despite decades of progress for LGBTQ+ equality at the end of the 20th century and into the beginning of the 21st, today’s current political climate has resurrected a wave of homophobia in various forms and degrees. \r\nIn fact, a recent study showed that social media platform X has experienced a 50% increase in hate speech alone since Elon Musk’s acquisition in October 2022, with much of that coming from homophobic slurs. \r\nBut anti-gay slurs via Internet comments and posts only scratch the surface of a biased attitude that surged during the ‘80s AIDS crisis. Sometimes we see this hate evolve to violence. Other times, homophobia can fester from within, internalized by closeted gay men who are unable to come to terms with their sexuality and live life as their most authentic selves. \r\nNo matter the reason, one thing’s for certain: Any type of irrational fear of (or eagerness to cause emotional or physical harm towards) another person is wrong. \r\nIf you’ve faced homophobia, struggled with homophobic tendencies, or are in a place where you feel disdain for your own same-sex attraction, you’re not alone. AskMen chatted with three professionals on how to recognize signs of prejudice and eventually overcome them. \r\n\r\nWhere Homophobia Comes From\r\n\r\nDespising people who are different is not an inherent part of our DNA. It is a learned behavior, often manifested in childhood by imitating the words and actions of those closest to us.\r\n“No one is born homophobic. It’s learned from culture, religion, politics, family systems, and media,” stresses life coach Eric Feltes, who has made it his life mission to empower gay men to heal from religious trauma. “People embrace it because it feels ’normal’ in their environment, or because they fear losing belonging, power, or certainty.”\r\n“People exhibit homophobia, consciously or unconsciously, because they’ve been taught to fear difference,” adds Moe Ari, love and connection expert for the dating app Hinge. “From an early age, we all receive messages about who we need to be, who we need to love, what income we need to make, what clothes we need to wear, and even what language we must speak in order to belong.”\r\nAnd, Ari adds, “We’ve either witnessed or experienced firsthand what happens when we color outside of the lines — usually, we are criticized in some way until we comply with the expected norm.”\r\nThis is important to keep in mind, as habits, though difficult to break, can be challenged to eventually lead to more positive outcomes. \r\n\r\nHow Homophobia Manifests \r\n\r\nWhile flagrant homophobia may take the form of language or even violence, it most often appears as a subconscious bias that influences decision-making and/or how we treat people. \r\n“Homophobia can show up in ways that are both blatant and subtle,” explains Feltes. “On the surface, it looks like slurs, discrimination, bullying, or laws that deny LGBTQ+ people equal rights.”\r\nRELATED: Debunking Common Misconceptions About Gay Men\r\nBut, says Feltes, “it also manifests in quieter, insidious ways, like exclusion from family gatherings, silence and complacency in church pews when anti-gay rhetoric is preached, or even assumptions that a person’s relationship isn’t as valid as a heterosexual one.”\r\n“It’s a failure to recognize someone’s full humanity,” asserts Ari. “This is why it’s essential for us to discuss the impact of these harms. When we name it, we begin to interrupt it. And that opens the door to deeper, more expansive relationships for everyone.”\r\n\r\nHow to Overcome Feelings of Homophobia \r\n\r\nUnlearning negative patterns can be a long and difficult process, but it’s not impossible. Ari shares self-guided practices that anyone can and should take into consideration to curb potential and/or inadvertent bigotry:\r\n1. Be Radically Honest With Yourself\r\n“Write down your highest values,” suggests Ari. “For example: Love, loyalty, community, togetherness, honesty, trustworthiness, honor, etc. and ask ‘how do my beliefs about LGBTQ+ people align with my highest values? What aspects of my beliefs need to shift for me to be in alignment with my values?’”\r\n2. Pause Judgment, Begin Inquiry\r\n“When you feel discomfort around queerness, don’t rush to dismiss it,” Ari says. “Pause. That discomfort is not a sign you’re bad; your ability to pause and be curious is a sign of growth. Let it guide you to a deeper understanding of the root of your discomfort. Ask yourself: ‘Where did I learn this belief’? Notice if your thoughts come from inherited shame, not personal truth.”\r\n3. Listen to Queer Voices\r\n“Start following queer creators, writers, and thinkers,” Ari suggests. “Don’t ask them to teach you, just witness. Listen to and learn from their joy, pain, wisdom, and humanity. Presence is a powerful teacher in this process.”\r\n4. Transcend Binary Thinking\r\n“Masculine and feminine aren’t fixed,” Ari says. “Heterosexual and gay aren’t opposites. Love doesn’t need cisgender, heterosexual, monogamous categories to be real. I invite you to explore the spectrum of identity and become more expansive/intersectional in your understanding of identity.”\r\n5. Check Your Language & Assumptions\r\n“Do your words assume everyone is heterosexual or monogamous? Are you defaulting to stereotypes about someone’s gender based on how their body looks? Can you practice saying ‘partner’ instead of assuming their gender? These small shifts can help you to practice what you’re learning,” says Ari. \r\n6. Repair When Needed\r\n“If you’ve said something harmful, own it,” Ari says. “I always tell people to ACT: acknowledge/apologize, correct yourself, try again.” \r\n7. Choose Connection Over Control\r\n“Homophobia often stems from fear of what can’t be controlled,” Ari says. “But connection is not about control. It’s about curiosity, compassion, and presence.” \r\n8. Remember: Liberation Is Shared\r\n“When you make room for others to be fully seen, you become freer too,” says Ari. “This isn’t just about celebrating LGBTQ+ people; it’s about building a world where everyone can show up whole and authentic.”\r\n\r\nHow to Deal With Other People’s Homophobia \r\n\r\nWitnessing homophobia, especially in public settings, can be equal parts enraging and uncomfortable. While your safety and that of anyone being targeted should be of the utmost concern, there are a couple steps, as provided by Feltes, that anyone can follow to confront the situation head-on. \r\nSpeak Up: “Silence is what allows it to continue unchecked. Speaking up doesn’t always have to mean starting an argument or making a scene. It can be as simple as redirecting the conversation, challenging a slur, or calmly saying, ‘That’s not OK.’ Even a small interruption can plant a seed of awareness that someone’s words or behavior are harmful.”\r\nRespond with curiosity instead of confrontation: “Sometimes asking thoughtful questions can be more effective than shutting someone down,” Feltes says. “For example: ‘What do you mean by that?’ or ‘Why do you feel that way?’ These questions can make the other person pause and reflect, and they put the responsibility back on them to examine their words. This strategy often lowers defensiveness, and it models compassion without compromising your boundaries.”\r\nIf you experience homophobia firsthand, any response of yours will also be completely dependent upon the situation and people involved. \r\nRELATED: Common Questions About Gay Guys, Answered\r\n“Sometimes safety means walking away, sometimes it means confronting it directly. And sometimes, the most powerful response is surrounding yourself with people who affirm you so you don’t have to fight every battle alone,” argues Ari. “You don’t have to carry the whole burden of dismantling homophobia on your own shoulders.”\r\n\r\nResources for Combatting Homophobia \r\n\r\nWhile the aforementioned tips can certainly inspire a conversation or serve as a foundation for actionable steps against homophobia, there are also those that have woven the study of intolerance into academia. \r\nDr. Warren J. Blumenfeld, author and editor of titles like Responding, Teaching, and Learning Race & LGBTQ Topics as Acts of Resistance in a Declining Democracy and Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price lends their expert take on the subject after years of firsthand research. \r\n“I believe we are all born into an environment polluted by heterosexism and cissexism (two among many forms of oppression), which fall upon us like acid rain,” they say. “For some people, spirits are tarnished to the core, others are marred on the surface, and no one is completely protected.”\r\nThanks to their work, Blumenfeld has also created helpful guides to “make colleges and universities welcome for students, staff, faculty, and administrators of all sexual identities, gender identities, and expressions.” \r\n“We all have a responsibility, indeed an opportunity, to join together as allies to construct protective shelters from the corrosive effects of prejudice and discrimination while working to clean up the heterosexist environment in which we live,” they share. “Once we take sufficient steps to reduce this pollution, we will all breathe a lot more easily.”\r\nThose in search of Blumenfeld’s work and beyond as resources to identity, understand, and confront homophobia are encouraged to visit a local library and/or reach out to an organization like The Trevor Project or GLAAD that specialize in navigating its unfortunate resurgence. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCan I Be Religious If I'm Gay?How to Come Out as GayCommon Gay Sex & Dating Slang, Explained", "keywords": "What, You, Should, Know, About, Homophobia", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/what-you-should-know-about-homophobia/askmen-lead-image-2x1-46-1759517821.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/what-you-should-know-about-homophobia.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93386", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is Speed Dating Making a Comeback?", "title_slug": "is-speed-dating-making-a-comeback", "title_hash": "fca289be09938d848e2672e9571efad7", "summary": "5 Tips for Using Speed Dating to Find Your Next Partner (Now That It's Popular Again)", "content": "Tired of swiping and eager to meet people in real life? You’re not alone – and singles are turning to speed dating events to meet people outside of apps. \r\nThat’s right: Speed dating (which was created in the late ’90s and became popular in the early 2000s before being eclipsed by online dating) is making a comeback. \r\nEventbrite data revealed that there were over 1.5 million searches for dating and singles events between 2023 and 2024, underscoring a desire to date offline, with previous reports from the event company showing a surge in speed dating events. \r\n“Singles are so exhausted from dating apps, and so desperate for a non-virtual connection, that these in-person events are starting to boom,” says Amanda Hood, CEO and VIP matchmaker and coach at The Crush Confidential. \r\nBut what exactly is speed dating and is it worth your time? Here’s what you need to know about speed dating events, the pros and cons of meeting people in that way, and whether it’s the right approach for you. \r\n\r\nWhat Is Speed Dating? \r\n\r\nSpeed dating is a structured dating event where participants rotate and have short, five- to eight-minute conversations with potential romantic partners. \r\nAfter each interaction, you rate your mini-date on a scorecard. At the end of the event, organizers gather the scorecards and, if there is mutual interest between two people, they connect them. From that point on, you can stay in touch and go on a follow-up date. \r\nRELATED: How a Modern Matchmaking Service Can Help Find You a Soulmate \r\nLike matchmaking, speed dating seems to be making a real comeback these days. To find speed dating events, try a Google search in your city or check out platforms like Eventbrite or Meetup. Events are often organized based on age range and held in venues like bars or coffee shops. Ticket costs may vary, and they may also include drinks and food. \r\nWhen you get there, you register, grab your scorecard and learn about the event guidelines, such as when and how to switch tables. There’s usually a timer and an audio cue letting you know it’s time to move on to the next conversation. \r\n\r\nPros of Speed Dating \r\n\r\nThe format of speed dating comes with benefits and drawbacks. The first advantage is that you get to meet singles in your area in person. \r\n“Speed dating events make meeting in real life easy and less intimidating,” says Samantha Friedwald Samwick, founder of Sammy Swipes. “Everyone is there for the same reason, so there is less of a feeling of ‘putting yourself out there’ with a stranger, as well as a lessened fear of rejection.”\r\nFurther, you only get a few minutes to connect, which is a low-pressure way to assess whether there’s attraction or not. \r\nRELATED: How Long Does It Take to Know If You're Attracted to Someone? \r\nThis can save you time compared to online dating, where it might take you a while to match with someone, exchange messages and schedule a date, only to find out that you don’t actually click in person. With speed dating, it’s easier to get a sense of whether you have chemistry. \r\n“You’re hearing their voice, feeling their energy, sensing their aura,” says Hood. “All of this physiological connection is important to determine chemistry.” \r\nPlus, speed dating eliminates the possibility of catfishing — or at least makes it several orders of magnitude more complicated. \r\n\r\nCons of Speed Dating \r\n\r\nWhile for some, only having a few minutes to make a memorable impression may feel low-stakes, for other people, it can be stressful. \r\nAnd while getting kicked out of a conversation you’re enjoying practically mid-sentence can be annoying, it can be even more of a bummer if you felt like you hit it off with someone only to find yourself not getting connected with them at the end of the night. That might sting a bit more than swiping on someone whose profile you looked at for 15 seconds and never matching with them. \r\nAlso, just because people aren’t swiping doesn’t mean that they’re not focused on physical attraction first. According to Hood, some daters may just scan the room and decide who they want to talk to immediately based on appearance. \r\nIt makes sense: Research shows that people decide whether they’re interested in someone in about three seconds. So, even if you have an entire eight minutes to chat, first impressions are formed very quickly, and event participants might not give each other a real chance. \r\n\r\nWho Is Speed Dating Best For? \r\n\r\nSo, who is speed dating best for? It can truly be for everyone, but some aspects of it might jive with your personality and lifestyle more than others. \r\n“People with outgoing personalities can thrive in this setting, but a more introverted person may take longer to warm up to a connection, which could hurt the chances of a really great match,” says Samwick. \r\nThat said, if you’re an introvert, you might also appreciate the fact that you don’t have to come up with all sorts of creative conversation topics during the few minutes that speed dating takes, notes Hood. \r\nWould you describe yourself as data-driven and analytical, even in your love life? Speed dating can be a good way to assess baseline compatibility, as you can ask the same questions to every date and compare answers, adds Hood. \r\nThose who are adventurous and open-minded might enjoy the opportunity to connect with new people from different walks of life, even if it doesn’t turn into a romantic relationship. \r\nFinally, if you have a demanding schedule, speed dating can be a great alternative to spending hours on dating apps swiping through thousands and thousands of profiles. \r\n\r\nSpeed Dating Tips \r\n\r\nWant to give speed dating a shot? Here are a few tips to have a successful, enjoyable evening (even if you don’t find love right off the bat): \r\nTreat speed dating like a first date: “As you would prepare for a first date, wear date attire, shower and properly groom. Show up as the best version of you,” recommends Hood.Avoid only talking about yourself: Even though you only have a few minutes, good listening skills can transform the vibe of the conversation and turn an awkward first few seconds into a budding connection. Be kind: “Give your connections the respect and time they deserve and show that you are here for them,” says Samwick. Hood agrees: “Even if you know that the person across the table is not your soulmate, be kind and graceful. Everyone there is seeking a connection and companionship.” Don’t be too quick to judge: Yes, the conversations are quick. But they’re just meant to be a starting point to assess whether you want to learn more about someone on a follow-up date. If you’re on the fence about someone, it might be worth going on an actual date to get to know each other in another setting. Try different events: Your experience with speed dating can also vary depending on the event. For example, if you’re looking to meet women and the majority of participants are other men, you’re probably going to be disappointed, and that can happen.Try different events and organizers in your area before deciding speed dating isn’t for you.\r\nSpeed dating isn’t a magic solution to the challenges of modern dating. But it can be a refreshing way to do something differently. At best, you meet someone with real potential. At worst, you walk away with a good story or even a new friend.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nBest Ideas to Help Guarantee a Great First Date 20 Different Ways to Successfully Find Love This YearHere’s How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection", "keywords": ", Speed, Dating, Making, Comeback", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/is-speed-dating-making-a-comeback/askmen-lead-image-2x1-45-1759505629.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/is-speed-dating-making-a-comeback.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:52:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93379", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Spooky & Sexy: Halloween Roleplay Ideas for Couples", "title_slug": "spooky-sexy-halloween-roleplay-ideas-for-couples", "title_hash": "30a8d784676b92a5923aa0678d9b47fd", "summary": "Looking to spice up spooky season? Try these 5 Halloween roleplay ideas for couples plus fun couple’s costume inspiration that doubles as flirty roleplay!\nThe post Spooky & Sexy: Halloween Roleplay Ideas for Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Looking to spice up spooky season? Try these 5 Halloween roleplay ideas for couples plus fun couple’s costume inspiration that doubles as flirty roleplay!

The post Spooky & Sexy: Halloween Roleplay Ideas for Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Spooky, Sexy:, Halloween, Roleplay, Ideas, for, Couples", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Screenshot-2025-10-03-at-10.39.57-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/spooky-sexy-halloween-roleplay-ideas-for-couples/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:51:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93218", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Can We Get My Sister Out Of Her Marriage?", "title_slug": "how-can-we-get-my-sister-out-of-her-marriage", "title_hash": "2109f529b0e9d1f96b00e491ef7608df", "summary": "My elder sister has always been a no-nonsense person — firm, bold, and never one to tolerate rubbish. Everyone knew she couldn’t be pressured into doing anything she didn’t want …", "content": "

My elder sister has always been a no-nonsense person — firm, bold, and never one to tolerate rubbish. Everyone knew she couldn’t be pressured into doing anything she didn’t want to do. She had a mind of her own, and while we admired that about her, it often caused friction whenever our interests clashed.

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Then she entered a relationship, and everything changed. She became secretive, and because she lived far away, we didn’t know what she was going through. No one could tell where her salary went, but by the first week of every month, she was always broke.

We knew she wasn’t a spendthrift, and she rarely contributed to family expenses. Later, we discovered that all her money was going to her boyfriend. It was shocking! My sister, of all people, had become enslaved to a man?

When that relationship ended, by God’s grace, she met another suitor — the kind every mother would pray for. He was wealthy, respectable, and dignified. The arrangement was initiated through my mom and one of his relatives.

His family adored my sister, especially his mother. They called often, invited her home whenever he was around, and treated her like royalty. But my sister wouldn’t pick up their calls, was distant, and constantly gave excuses that she was busy. She barely spoke to the man and didn’t give his family a chance to get to know her.

My mom did her best to encourage the relationship, but my sister wasn’t cooperative. One day, the man’s entire family visited our home. It was supposed to be the final meeting before the wedding arrangements began. My sister knew she was supposed to be present. They waited for days, but my sister never showed up.

The marriage plans were called off, and within three months, the man married someone else. It was a grand wedding, one that left my parents deeply disappointed. Still, life went on.

About a year later, my sister got married to another man. His finances weren’t promising, but we assumed he had potential — maybe a vision or drive that convinced her to accept him. He claimed to sell cars. We learned later that he was merely a middleman who earned commissions.

He often boasted of his siblings abroad who supported him. That was all he had. No job, no business, no side hustle. In hindsight, the signs were there. We should have known something was off when his mother seemed excited that her son had married a financially stable woman with a good salary and steady promotions.

After the wedding, my sister who used to help with our rent and school fees, stopped contributing entirely. She became even more distant. She barely picked up calls and kept everything to herself. We didn’t think much of it until she gave birth to twins.

When our mother went over to help her take care of the babies, she discovered the truth about my sister’s marriage.

My sister’s husband was a heavy smoker, who ate multiple times a day and constantly demanded money to buy weed. He had seized my sister’s credit cards and squandered all her earnings. She had no money for upkeep, wore faded clothes to work and hospital visits, and barely fed herself or the babies.

My sister is now a shadow of her former self. She shoulders every financial burden but cannot take care of herself. She cries in private but continues to endure. When my mother spoke to her, she said it was just one of those challenges in marriage. She doesn’t see it as a problem worth leaving over. If anyone tries to reason with her, she blocks the person.

Worse still, whatever is discussed with her ends up with her husband. One too many times, he has called to threaten our parents to stay out of his marriage.

We are all deeply worried. This is not the sister we know. She was strong, independent, and outspoken but now, she behaves like someone under a spell. She doesn’t think she needs help, and that’s the scariest part. It’s not love. It’s not fear. It’s as if her senses have been seized.

She starves with her babies, works tirelessly, and still looks miserable. For someone who used to dress her best, she now barely resembles herself. This is not ordinary. Even when her babies are starving, she still gives everything to her husband. She earns almost a million but constantly borrows just to satisfy his demands. When she doesn’t have money, he gets angry and yells until she borrows again for him.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

How can someone in their right mind live like this? We fear losing her if something isn’t done soon. We are praying, but prayer alone might not be enough.

Please, we need advice and suggestions. How can we help a woman who doesn’t believe she needs help? Could this be spiritual?

—Zyana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "How, Can, Get, Sister, Out, Her, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2663.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/how-can-we-get-my-sister-out-of-her-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:42:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "93217", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Two Minutes Later, and I Would Have Found My Wife ‘Dancing’ from the Ceiling", "title_slug": "two-minutes-later-and-i-would-have-found-my-wife-dancing-from-the-ceiling", "title_hash": "68a0d07e7be996cbf973a90d91bf9b00", "summary": "When I got to the compound, I saw our first child playing with other kids. The second one, she’s autistic. She was lying on the floor playing in the sand. …", "content": "

When I got to the compound, I saw our first child playing with other kids. The second one, she’s autistic. She was lying on the floor playing in the sand. It was unusual to see these kids by themselves without their mother, so I quickly rushed inside the house only to find our door locked. I knocked several times before her voice pierced through; “Yeees, who is it?” I screamed, “What are you doing inside that you’ve left the kids outside?”

She didn’t answer. I kept calling her name, “Erika, Erika, open the door. What are you doing?”

When she finally opened the door, I saw a chair on top of the center table with a rope tied to the ceiling fan. I saw a sheet of paper on the chair. She was crying. I didn’t need anyone to tell me what was going on. “Erika, what are you doing? What has come over you? How did we get here?”

I picked up the note she had written, and it said, “I’m sorry. The suffering is too much. I hope you understand. Take good care of the kids.”

I collapsed in the chair while I held the note in my hand. “Why?” I asked. All she did was cry.

We had been married for ten years with two children. The first was nine years old and very fine. The second child is autistic and was six years old. A girl. We started having challenges right before our marriage. Her mother asked her not to marry me. She had a better man for her, but Erika went ahead and married me. Because of me, she has a strained relationship with her mother.

When we started seeing the signs of autism in our child, we thought it was a spiritual attack we could pray away. When prayers didn’t work after traveling far and near to see pastors, we decided to go the traditional way. We went through hell in the hands of these people, following scary directions and waking up at dawn to visit rivers because they said she was a river child. We went flat broke before we accepted the situation.

I accepted the situation, but my wife never came to terms with it. She got depressed, grew lean, still fasted and prayed, but nothing happened. Her own mother told her, “That’s what happens to a child who doesn’t listen to her mother. God rewards you with problems.”

She was sacked from work because of this same child. She was always asking for permission to do something. When she suspected she wasn’t going to be given permission to stay off, she didn’t go to work and also didn’t ask for permission. Even when she was at work, her output suffered and she got angry and defensive easily. Her company laid her off.

We got a shop for her in the main market so she could do her own business and take care of our special needs daughter. Two years ago, there was a fire in the market. We didn’t pick anything from the shop. Not even the money she had saved there. Everything went to ashes.

She sunk into a deep state of depression. “It looks like I’m not meant to be happy. What’s all this?” I answered, “We have life. We’ll make it again.”

We were planning to start the shop again, but anytime I brought the discussion up, she told me she was no longer interested. I asked what she would like to do, and her answer was, “There’s no time to do anything,” or “Maybe someday but not now.”

Nothing suggested she was suicidal. We were supposed to go to a funeral together, but in the morning, while I was getting ready, she told me she wasn’t feeling well so she couldn’t go with me. She didn’t look sick but rather serene and pensive. I asked her to get some drugs while I attended the funeral.

Because she wasn’t with me, I was in a hurry to go back home. Before I left the funeral, I called her twice, but she didn’t pick up. If I’d delayed for even a minute or two, I would have found her body dangling from the ceiling.

“Erika, this life is hard, I know, but you have me. We are trying together, so why do you want to leave me?”

She didn’t answer. She only cried.

I took off the rope and dismantled the logistics meant for her death. I allowed her to cry until she fell asleep. I went for the kids, fed them, and kept them inside. My wife slept all night. I got scared, thinking she might have swallowed something poisonous. But she was breathing fine.

We went to church on Sunday. On our way, she told me, “No one should know what happened. I’m OK. It won’t happen again.” In church, I prayed for the healing of her heart. I asked for special prayers. I asked her to speak to someone, a professional or a pastor. She said she was fine, but guess what? Our marriage hasn’t been the same again since that incident.

I’m scared whenever I’m at work and she’s home. When I call and she doesn’t pick up, my heart starts to beat heavily like a drum. I’ve had to warn her not to miss my calls. Because of her, I’m on good terms now with all our neighbors. I call the women to check up on her while I’m away. I send the men to go and knock and just ask her anything.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

My wife hardly talks these days. Her voice is gone, but her zeal is intact. She’s always with the one with the special needs, fixing her up or trying to play with her. I’m happy whenever she’s active, but that happiness is only full when I can see her face. I don’t know when she’ll sink again and seek relief from death. We have love as a family, love rooted in perpetual fear, but it’s alright. I’ll do my best.

—Bennett

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******

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I’ve been dating a Nigerian man from the Igbo tribe for five years now. When we first met, he was working under someone, but now he’s doing business here in South Sudan, my home country.

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From the beginning, he told me that not every relationship leads to marriage. He also said he had a girlfriend in Nigeria. I wasn’t interested in marriage at the time so I didn’t care. I was too young and not deeply in love with him yet.

Now things have changed for me. Over the years, my feelings for him have grown stronger. Also, I’m turning 25 this December. This means I am ready to settle down.

The problem is he is not ready to marry me yet. He says that because he is a traditional man, his family will not allow him to marry a woman from another country as his first wife.

“For the sake of tradition, I have to marry a Nigerian woman first. After that, I will marry you as a second wife.”

This breaks my heart. I don’t like the idea of being a second wife but Jake is not someone I want to lose. This man has been my biggest support. He shows up for me emotionally and physically. He gives me advice, helps me through challenges, and has been my safe space when no one else, not even my cousins, cared.

I’m the only child of my parents; I lost my three siblings and my father. My mum lives in the village, while I stay in the city with friends. Jake is literally the one person in my corner. He understands me better than anyone else.

He spends most of the year in South Sudan for business, and only goes back to Nigeria for Christmas. Because of this, he assures me that even if he marries another woman first, he would spend most of his time with me.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

What I find more confusing about his proposal is that he wants me to get pregnant before he returns to Nigeria this December. My mum has encouraged me to do it since I’m her only child.

Honestly, I also want a baby. I’m just not sure if I should agree to be the second wife for the sake of his tradition.

—Dinka

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#SB

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My fiancé and I live together with our two children. Our marriage preparations are underway but I am contemplating if this is a man I should marry. He is not an easy man to love. His associations and certain behaviours are gradually pushing me into depression.

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He is a responsible man, I will give him that. He takes good care of me and the children. He is also not the kind of man who would say his money is all we need to function as a family. While he provides, he is also physically present and involved with childcare.

While he is being a present father and partner, he is also living a life that doesn’t portray him as a family man. He is out there entertaining other women as if he is a bachelor who just came of age and is looking for a wife.

This same man goes above and beyond to cage me. He doesn’t want me to smile or talk with any man. He would get angry and throw tantrums if I said another man was my friend. So for the sake of peace, he is the only man in my life, apart from the men I am related to.

Sadly, he won’t make changes to his social life for the sake of my peace of mind. He would rather propose love to any woman he fancies than exercise self-control. When they ask him about me he tells them that he has fallen out of love with me.

It would have been easier if his actions aligned with those words. They don’t. He still behaves like the man who loves me. He has told several women he proposed to that he has fallen out of love with me. The quality time we spend at home hasn’t changed and he never spends a night away.

I remember the first time I found out about his affairs. He said he was sorry. “I don’t have anything serious going on with those women. You are my number one.”

He promised he would change and that I should give him time to work on himself. Time has passed but he is who he is. One time I was angrily ranting about one of his girls. He told me, “When you want to drink water from a particular well, you don’t look around it, else it will disgust you.”

It made me angrier but he found a way to calm me. That’s how he is. He knows me so well that when I’m angry, he always finds ways to calm me down.

According to him, I have to ignore everything he does with other women if we are going to be happy. He is not lying. I can either leave him and find peace or I would have to learn to be unaffected by his actions, if I continue to stay.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

That’s the problem. I am not sure I have what it takes to accept his lifestyle. Every month, there is a new woman in the picture. It’s too much to cope with, but I am finding it harder to leave because of the kids. If I leave with them, he won’t contribute to their upkeep.

I am also considering the fact that I am turning 35 soon and I am a mother of two. Is it not too late for me to walk away? I don’t know what to do.

—Patie

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I met him sixteen years ago, back in high school. We phone-dated for a while, but life pulled us apart. All the times we were dating, we never met—it was just calls and texts. Four years later, we reconnected and met in person for the first time. That’s when the real story began.

Somewhere along the line, I went snooping and found out he was dating someone he claimed was his sister. I didn’t take offence at that. I fought for us. I wanted to prove I was worth choosing. But in the end, he chose her. I was shattered. He was my first love, and surviving that heartbreak felt like surviving a storm with no shelter.

When I heard he married her, I thought that was the end of our chapter. I wished them well and moved on. But he resurfaced sometime after. I tried to avoid him: obviously, I didn’t want anything to do with a married man. I had a principle: never date a married man. But he wouldn’t let go. He was everywhere, all the time. And the closer he got, the more I realized I had never truly gotten over him. So I put my rule aside and started dating him again.

We reconciled. We’ve been together for five years now.

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In our third year, I fell pregnant. I told him. The next day, he vanished from the surface of the earth. My calls went unanswered for three weeks. I was worried, anxious, and abandoned. I ended the pregnancy, believing he didn’t want the child. When he finally resurfaced, he claimed he’d been sick and hospitalized. I was hurt, but I listened. I gave him another chance.

I told him I needed clarity by my 30th birthday. I needed to know if he was serious or just playing games with me. I wasn’t getting any younger. My birthday came and went; nothing changed. Months passed, and still, he said nothing about where we stood as a couple.

So I started talking to someone else. I told him, hoping it would force him to choose. From the way he acted, I could tell he was hurt, and guilt washed over me. I loved him too much to let go or cause him pain because you don’t hurt the ones you truly love. So I gave him another chance. He asked for time until the end of the year. I agreed. I stopped talking to the other man.

But the year ended with another pregnancy. I was 31. He told me to keep it, but when I asked what would happen next, he had no answer. Days later, taking it out became the only option again. I wanted to keep it: I was growing older, but the situation wasn’t safe. I needed him to hold my hand through it. But he fell sick again. Vanished. I went through it alone.

When he started having issues in his marriage, I felt responsible. I kept asking if I was the cause, and he always said no. Still, I carried the guilt: the two abortions, the silence, the shame of being the other woman. I was sure that whenever his wife prayed, she mentioned me by name, asking God to take me out of the picture. I told him I wanted to move on, but he begged for more time, saying we needed to talk things through.

I told him I needed assurance. I was willing to wait, but not in vain. He said he couldn’t promise anything. He said he didn’t want to fail me.

So I started talking to that man again. We met. Had a good time together. But I couldn’t move past him. I didn’t want to be with someone else while still nursing a broken heart. So I went back to being the mistress.

He was angry and hurt. But we reconciled. Then, we had a misunderstanding. He went silent. I did the same. Three weeks later, he came running back. We spoke. Had a good conversation. But days later, he gave me the cold shoulder again.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

I asked what was wrong. He said it was because of the man I had entertained. He said I chose someone else over him. How? I let someone go because of this endless love I have for him. How else do we choose a man?

Maybe he just wants to move on to another mistress and feels guilty, with no words to say it. But that’s fine.

It’s been two months already. I’m hurting. Nursing the pain of being the mistress for over five years. Every day is hard. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t think. Sometimes, I feel worthless. Because why do I still love a man who is married? Who keeps running away from me?

One thing I’m sure of is, if I ever manage to heal, I’m staying single forever.

—Michelle

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People often think of the library as a place to borrow books. But it can be so much more than that.

As a full-time librarian in Brooklyn, New York, I know that the best libraries act as a community hub that attends to the needs of the people who live in the area. One need that has become more urgent in recent years is access to reproductive and sexual health resources.

For many decades, Planned Parenthood and local health clinics were the go-to spots for people to get information and services about menstrual health, sex education, and abortion access. But with abortion access and reproductive health care now under attack by federal and state governments, these offices are shuttering. According to the sexual and reproductive health and rights research organization Guttmacher Institute, the number of brick-and-mortar clinics declined by 5 percent across the U.S. between 2020 and early 2024, from 807 to 765.

And local public libraries are stepping up.

I knew from working at the Brooklyn Public Library that some libraries are creatively filling the gaps in reproductive health-care information and services. Here, for example, all branches have free period product dispensers in their bathrooms. But I didn’t know how widespread these efforts were.

So, I asked around. I interviewed librarians in big cities and small towns, from Georgia to California. I also polled librarians on Reddit, posting an anonymous survey on the subreddit (or online community) called r/Libraries, which describes itself as “a place to discuss all aspects of libraries and library work.” I only got seven responses, meaning the survey was not statistically significant. But it was telling nonetheless.

On Reddit and in interviews, I discovered libraries with a broad range of reproductive justice initiatives. Some offer free pads and tampons. Others hold “period parties” where menstruating teens can celebrate their changing bodies.

A note about language here: I’ll use the umbrella term “reproductive justice” to describe all these initiatives. Other librarians prefer language like “gender and sexuality education.”

Libraries find like-minded partners

At least two libraries—one in California and one in Wisconsin—teamed up with their local Planned Parenthood to get reproductive justice programming in their branches.

In the spring of 2024, the Will and Ariel Durant Branch of the Los Angeles Public Library turned their community room into an inviting space for occasional workshops. Led by a Planned Parenthood facilitator, participants discussed topics like gender expression, healthy relationships, sexually-transmitted infections, and self-advocacy in medical settings.

Each session, Anders Villalta—the young adult services librarian, and my personal friend—set up “much more seating than needed” so that participants could “pick what felt comfortable for them.” They spread handouts across tables in the back so people could take them discreetly, and made sure to put some seating close to the entrance because “some patrons like to check things out before deciding whether to join the conversation.”

The Durant branch serves the area’s large LGBTQ+ population, and people in the community have varied ways of expressing their gender and sexuality, Villalta said. Some patrons may still be figuring out how they identify. So the organizers were careful to frame sensitive conversations, for example about gender identity, as an exploration and learning opportunity—not a prescriptive lesson.

Each Planned Parenthood workshop typically attracted about six to ten people. But they reached the broader community, too.

“Even if they didn’t attend, patrons gave a lot of positive feedback,” Villalta said. “To see [these programs] at the library is uplifting and really powerful. The library is now talking about things that people would rather us not talk about.”

The Durant library’s success has translated into a system-wide opportunity. Today, all 72 branches of the LA Public Library can request to host a Planned Parenthood workshop.

Period parties ‘embrace the joy’ in puberty

Brooke Newberry, public services manager at the La Crosse Public Library in Wisconsin, works with her Planned Parenthood affiliate to host “period parties.” At each event, she sets up 45 chairs in classroom style, with a table for the Planned Parenthood presenter up front. She hangs tinsel curtains and uses pink and red items to set the mood.

We “wanted it to look like a fun place to be,” Newberry said.

The local schools do teach sex education, but Newberry wanted to embrace the joy in menstruation.

There are snacks and take-home period packs with pads, tampons, letters of encouragement, and some chocolate. Each session also includes menstruation education and games.

“We play period Bingo” on a board with vocabulary words like period, cramps, tampon, and the like, Newberry said.

Winners get small prizes, like a Squishmallow or a heating pad.

The parties, now in their second year, are a huge success and “delightfully intergenerational,” Newberry said. Some of the teen girls who attend are brought by single dads.

“Because they’re like, ‘I don’t know!’” Newberry said.

Parents, teens, and siblings bond over shared experiences, with older participants telling the story of their first period—a topic some older generations have never talked about openly.

After one event, a caregiver attending a period party with a young girl told Newberry that her “body was going through second puberty,” referring to menopause, and asked: “What do I do?”

So the library worked with Planned Parenthood to host menopause parties, too.

“It was much harder to find information about menopause than it is periods,” Newberry said.

Ultimately, the events they created attracted not only “people in their upper 30s and 40s,” Newberry said, but also “their moms.”

At each event, the facilitator explains the experiences that can come with menopause, like the smell of burning when nothing is on fire. Often, participants chimed in with comments like, “That happened to me back in the day, and I thought I was going crazy!”

But the educator assured the participants they had actually experienced a symptom of menopause, something they may not have ever known without the LaCross library’s menopause party.

Too polarizing for publicly-funded libraries

But not all librarians have been able to provide reproductive health resources to members of the community who need it most.

Many of the people who responded to my Reddit survey saying that their libraries did not have any reproductive justice initiatives explained that they found the topic too controversial. They worried that even talking about reproductive justice could jeopardize their government funding.

Kati Hall, a Texas-based librarian, has observed this kind of self-censorship. (We are granting Hall a pseudonym; Hall and one other librarian interviewed for this story worried they could face personal and professional repercussions for discussing their work publicly.) Topics like abortion access and sexual health are generally “just not talked about” at work, she said.

In a previous librarian position in Georgia, Hall got creative. She quietly put pads and tampons in a basket in the women’s bathroom. The items were donated by herself and other staff, not paid for with taxpayer money. They were never discussed or acknowledged by any patrons, as far as Hall knows. But the baskets were routinely being emptied, so she kept refilling them. She knew the supplies were needed.

But in Texas, which has some of the strictest anti-abortion laws in the nation, the situation is different, she said. Since her library is city-funded, staff tiptoe around reproductive health.

As a result, Hall said, “I don’t know exactly what the patrons need in regards to reproductive justice.”

Still, the library is a site of education. And for some patrons in Texas, Hall guessed, their educational needs could be how to get out-of-state to access abortion or gender-affirming care. Under those circumstances, Hall told me, the most important thing for librarians is “knowing the context”—and the law—“but not giving up and doing what you can.”

An Indiana library finds a way

Despite the concerns around how the work will be perceived by lawmakers and the public, some librarians have still found a way to get reproductive health education and supplies to the public.

In 2020, Fern, a library assistant at the Monroe County Public Library in Indiana who requested that their last name not be used, worked up a proposal to put free period product dispensers in both the men’s and women’s bathrooms.

Initially, Fern faced pushback. The library’s then-director rejected the idea with what Fern recalled as a note essentially saying, “I don’t really want to do this.”

But three years later, Fern tried again with a new director.

“I gave him my research from back then and my current research,” they said. “I told him what I’d like to do, and he was very in favor of it.”

The program was approved for a six-month trial in collaboration with Aunt Flow, an organization that installs free period product dispensers in schools and businesses. Fern began working behind the scenes with colleagues to make sure the launch succeeded.

They met with the building facilities manager, whose team would be in charge of installing and refilling the dispensers, and cobbled together a budget to fund the project. Fern also solicited feedback from the staff so they could troubleshoot for “any concerns that they might have.”

In 2022, Tori Lawhorn, the library’s communications and marketing director, added another layer to the library’s nascent reproductive justice initiative. She had noticed more patrons calling in with questions about their reproductive rights.

“It was right when Roe v. Wade got overturned,” she said. Indiana quickly moved to ban abortion. The law was challenged in court, but in 2023, a total abortion ban with limited exceptions went into effect.

Amid the confusion over abortion access, Lawhorn created an educational page on the library’s website called “Reproductive Rights Resources.” It explains current policies, the legal fight underway, and how the process affects Indiana residents.

“It was providing not only accurate information but confidential access to resources so patrons could still get information without necessarily having to compromise their security or their identity,” Lawhorn said.

The site, which remains active today, lists reproductive care resources and includes a booklist if people want more in-depth information on specific aspects of reproductive rights.

The Aunt Flow project, now in its second year, gives people access to “products that some people might have barriers to,” Lawhorn said. The whole initiative was built on a tenet of “equitable access for all.”

These days, the free tampons and pads have become “very normal,” Fern added. “People just know that they’re there now and use them.”

Editor’s note Oct. 1, 2025: This story has been updated to correct an erroneous last name inadvertently introduced during editing.

The post ‘We Play Period Bingo’: Librarians Get Creative To Offer Sex Ed, Period Products, And More appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "‘We, Play, Period, Bingo’:, Librarians, Get, Creative, Offer, Sex, Period, Products, And, More", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Rewire-Website-Image-Size.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/10/01/library-period-tampon-sex-ed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-06 07:30:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92938", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Supreme Court Gears Up for Another Unprecedented Term (Podcast)", "title_slug": "the-supreme-court-gears-up-for-another-unprecedented-term-podcast", "title_hash": "f50749c323f31a5181f6ce249d7a76ec", "summary": "Why the justices will soon be back to work wreaking havoc on democracy.\nThe post The Supreme Court Gears Up for Another Unprecedented Term (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode of Boom! Lawyered, Imani and Jess preview the upcoming Supreme Court term, including a challenge to conversion therapy bans, protections for transgender student athletes, and more.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Imani has relaunched her column, AngryBlackLady Chronicles. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first, and listen to Imani’s new podcast, B*tch, Listen, here.

The post The Supreme Court Gears Up for Another Unprecedented Term (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Expanding your family is often a difficult financial decision to make. I would know: A few years ago, I had an abortion because it was not financially feasible for me to be pregnant or have a child.

At the time, I was still breastfeeding my one-and-a-half year old, and my use of breastfeeding as birth control had failed. (Breastfeeding a newborn at consistent intervals can sometimes be used as a form of birth control because it can prevent ovulation. It tends to be effective only for about six months, according to Kaiser Permanente.)

It was the depths of the COVID-19 pandemic. My husband and I were already caring for a toddler and my 9-year-old stepson during lockdowns, and I was a full-time college student pulling double duty as a stay-at-home mom. We could not bring a new baby into our life.

My OB-GYN had also previously told me that another pregnancy could kill me. During my first pregnancy, I was rushed to an emergency cesarean section because my daughter became trapped inside my birth canal after 45 minutes of pushing. My doctor flat out told me that I could choose to give birth again, but making that decision could leave behind my husband to raise our family alone as a widower.

In the three years since I had my abortion, I have graduated with my bachelor’s degree and am closing in on my master’s degree. I’ve been promoted into a full-time job as a manager at a nonprofit, and upgraded to a bigger house.

My husband and I finally felt ready to expand our family again, so we began the process of becoming licensed to foster. Recently, however, we paused that process. My husband is paying tariffs on supplies for his small, construction-related business. My employer is state-funded, and possible funding cuts threaten one of my contracts. This means that raises or cost-of-living adjustments are harder to budget for.

Financial stress is prompting life-altering decisions across the country. Many people across the United States are postponing or fully rejecting the decision to expand their families. I spoke to three of them about how the economy—and specifically, President Donald Trump’s recently-passed tax reconciliation bill, marketed as the “big, beautiful bill”—is affecting their family-planning decisions.

Many said that the nation’s affordability crisis, along with the restrictive reproductive policies of the post-Roe v. Wade era, have played a significant role in their decision.

Rapidly rising costs

“Building a family is expensive,” Mrinmoyee Chatterjee, a senior social science research and data analyst for the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, said in an interview with Rewire News Group.

Chatterjee’s research focuses on gender equity, women’s work, and fertility, and she provided RNG with her data.

Chatterjee noted that while the costs of raising a child are increasing all over the world, they are especially staggering in the U.S. The most conservative estimates put the cost of raising a child at nearly $30,000 a year—up more than 35 percent from 2023 due to increasing costs of food, day care, and insurance, research from online lending marketplace Lending Tree shows.

About 21 percent of American households do not even make $35,000 annually.

In addition, Chatterjee said, the weakening economy has an outsized impact on women in the workforce. When the economy is weak and child care is not affordable, for example, mothers are more likely to stay at home for longer after giving birth and less likely to return to the workforce.

Returning to paid work after a yearslong hiatus can be difficult. That certainly was my experience after staying home with my daughter for nearly three years.

“The gains in women’s employment and in closing the gender wage gap … are always less likely to happen if the economy is overall weak,” Chatterjee explained.

One example of a cost that is continuing to rise, Chatterjee said, is the price tag of a college education. Since 2006, out-of-state tuition and fees at public universities have gone up 24 percent, according to inflation-adjusted data from U.S. News. In-state tuition and fees rose 29 percent during the same period.

College costs are not counted in official estimates of the lifetime cost of childrearing, which is often calculated to the time a child is 17 years old. Because food, child care, and education costs keep rising, estimating the real lifelong cost to raise a child can be tricky, but Chatterjee tried.

“The actual cost of raising a child from birth to age 17 is nearly $300,000,” she concluded.

Facing that sum, the government’s newly created baby bonds, or “Trump accounts”—which are meant to incentivize couples to have babies—are, Chatterjee said, “a drop in the bucket.”

The economic toll

For the people I spoke to who decided not to pursue a pregnancy, financial security was a major factor in the decision.

Hailey, a former teacher in the South Bend, Indiana area, and her partner have put their plans to have their first child on hold for now. Hailey requested to only use her first name to maintain privacy as she seeks new employment.

Hailey and her partner have owned their house for more than a year, and they find that home ownership is actually less costly than renting. But Hailey recently quit her job as a kindergarten teacher after five years because she was burnt out, she said.

She is looking for a new career path in part because she worries that the mental and emotional exhaustion of teaching could impact a potential pregnancy and parenthood.

“‘Am I doing more harm to my body with the stress [of] being exhausted in my job?’” she asked herself this past school year. “I would never be able to balance [teaching and motherhood] because I would never be able to give 100 percent to either.”

Hailey said she will have to find another job to make parenthood possible at all; her partner’s stable income as a website editor won’t be enough to expand their family.

“The cost of living here is expensive,” she said, of South Bend.

Overall, South Bend costs less to live in than the national average, but median households earn less too.

“Growing up with financial struggles, it’s always kind of in the back of my head,” Hailey said.

Keith, 30, is a manager at a financial institution living in Denver. (Keith asked to only go by his first name to maintain his family’s personal and professional privacy.) His wife works as a case manager for a Medicaid contractor.

Together they make just over $100,000, putting their income in roughly the top 40 percent of households nationwide. Yet they’re postponing having a first child, too, in large part for financial reasons.

“The cost of living in the Denver metro area is ridiculously high,” Keith said.

Keith and his wife live in a one-bedroom apartment, and they shell out $2,300 a month for that space.

“Interest rates and inflated house prices keep us locked into renting because the down payment goal post keeps moving faster and faster,” Keith said. “The economy and country seem very unstable, and have for most of my adult life.”

Keith noted that owning a car is essential there, too.

“Public transportation exists,” he said. But “it’s not conducive to keeping stable employment” he added, citing a lack of routes and times.

Abortion bans and Medicaid cuts add to the equation

Waning access to contraception and draconian new restrictions on abortion compound families’ decisions of whether to have a child.

Indiana’s anti-abortion laws, for example, have forced Hailey and her family to discuss what they would do in the event of a reproductive or pregnancy-related emergency.

Hailey worries that if she miscarries, doctors could deny her the treatment needed to clear her body of the failed pregnancy—despite the fact that, medically, procedures for abortion and miscarriage are typically the same. But in Indiana, anti-abortion laws are so strict that she may not be able to receive medication or procedural abortion care.

Lindsay, an auditor from Maine, echoed Hailey’s concerns about anti-abortion laws. She and her partner have been trying to have a baby for over four years. Earlier this year in 2025, she got pregnant—but the pregnancy was ectopic, a dangerous condition where a fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus.

“For the states like Texas, Alabama, Louisiana, Florida, and others that prevent abortion completely or after six weeks, I would have either died in those states or had to travel elsewhere to treat my ectopic pregnancy,” Lindsay said. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through since we desperately wanted that baby.”

They have suffered financially, too, in their attempts at growing their family.

Lindsay, with her partner by her side supporting her every step of the way, has done three years of fertility treatments including intrauterine insemination (IUI), acupuncture, prescription medicine, over-the-counter supplements, and in vitro fertilization. Lindsay estimates the couple has spent over half of their household income on trying to get pregnant.

“We already have so much medical debt,” she lamented.

Republicans, she said, are making the financial pain of this process worse with their failure to act to make reproductive healthcare interventions, like IVF, more accessible for those who are not wealthy.

“They are making it impossible for those of us going through extreme measures to try by withholding financial access to treatments,” she added.

Federal spending cuts, particularly to the public insurance program Medicaid, could also affect pregnant people’s medical care.

Chatterjee explained that Medicaid expansion previously increased pregnant people’s quality of care by increasing how many pregnant people were attending prenatal appointments and how early on in their pregnancy they were doing so. Previous restrictions on Title X funding led to health-care losses and contraceptive deserts.

“[With] slashing programs like this and other state/local programs, health outcomes will be worse,” Chatterjee said.

Birth rates lower as cost of raising children raises

All of this past research and data, historically, does not bode well for birth rates.

On July 24, 2025 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published a report that found the U.S. fertility rate had dropped to an all-time low in 2024. Last year, the total U.S. fertility rate was just under 1.6 kids per woman, down from 1.621 in 2023.

Birth rates have been dropping worldwide for decades, and researchers have attributed the drop to fears of climate change, fewer teen pregnancies, and gender equality, among other reasons.

“The drop in birth rates that has happened in the past is a symptom of the economy that makes it harder and harder for families and caregivers to have and raise children,” Chatterjee said. “The current administration’s efforts do not seem to be making it easier, especially for the families that need the most support: ones with women of color, immigrant women, single-parent families, [and] families with low household incomes.”

The post Some Couples Postpone Having Kids as Costs Rise appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The idea that the person you love might be reaching for closeness in…", "content": "It’s not easy to face. The idea that the person you love might be reaching for closeness in…", "keywords": ", Signs, She’s, Searching, for, Intimacy, Someone, Else", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/searching-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-signs-shes-searching-for-intimacy-in-someone-else/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:58:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92389", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When a Man Scratches the Palm of a Woman’s Hand: What It Really Means", "title_slug": "when-a-man-scratches-the-palm-of-a-womans-hand-what-it-really-means", "title_hash": "468d192127e3077d64d539ab1bb318e6", "summary": "It’s small, almost nothing. A thumb dragging across your palm, a little scratch, a flick. Most people don’t…", "content": "It’s small, almost nothing. A thumb dragging across your palm, a little scratch, a flick. Most people don’t…", "keywords": "When, Man, Scratches, the, Palm, Woman’s, Hand:, What, Really, Means", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/palm.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/when-a-man-scratches-the-palm-of-a-womans-hand-what-it-really-means/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:58:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92386", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Beer Lovers", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-beer-lovers", "title_hash": "ec31b9bbecd26af735a6c8b94b813e66", "summary": "Raise a Glass to These Awesome Beer-Themed Gifts for the Holidays", "content": "A six-pack might not get you a six-pack – though beer does have some B vitamins and potassium – but for beer geeks and casual drinkers alike, there’s nothing quite like the refreshing taste of a cold brew. And to elevate the experience even further? The coolest brew gadgets and gear should always be within reach. \r\nRELATED: Unique Christmas Gift Ideas\r\nWhen it comes to selecting gifts for beer lovers, you can't go wrong with an item that calls out to their hops-loving heart. And, no we aren't suggesting grabbing a six-pack and calling it a day. The ideal gift should allow your beloved beer lovers to optimize their drinking experience, learn more about their beverage of choice or enjoy it in a whole new way.\r\nHere, we’re laying out all of the best gifts for the beer lovers on your list – and perhaps for you, too. No judgment here!\r\n\r\nBest Gift Ideas for Beer Lovers\r\n\r\n10 Barrel Brewing Co. Nature Calls IPA\r\n\r\nMango! Tangerine! Grapefruit! Nature Calls from 10 Barrel Brewing Co. blends West Coast IPA and East Coast Hazy IPA, making a crisp, clean, citrus-filled beer at 6.5% ABV. Perfect for any beer drinker (especially those that enjoy a cold one when doing man things outside), picking up at 6-pack gives back to The Nature Conservation Alliance through 10 Barrel’s #DrinkItForward program.\r\n\r\nFind out more at 10Barrel.com\r\nBooSocki Beer Hoppy Socks\r\n\r\nGift someone’s feet a well deserved buzz with BooSocki’s Beer Hoppy socks. Lay out on your own lily pad and take a page from the frog’s book. Any beer lover will have a good grin once he sees you’ve given him a pair of these cotton, super cushioned crews.\r\n\r\n$4.99 at BooSocki.com\r\nBrüMate Hopsulator Trio\r\n\r\nWhat’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold, the temperature your beer should be at. In order to hold onto that frosty goodness between each sip, turn to BrüMate, a triple-insulated steel cooler that puts your basic koozies to shame. While this particular Hopsulator accommodates 12 and 16 oz. cans (or as its own pint glass), the brand also provides similar products for glass bottles. Never let your beer go warm again!\r\n\r\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTroegs The Mad Elf Beer, Six-Pack\r\n\r\nWant a holiday-themed beer that doesn't suck? This six-pack of beers from Troegs, aptly named The Mad Elf, combines holiday flavors like cherry and honey to deliver a sweet-tasting beer that's perfect to enjoy with friends and family around an open fire. \r\n\r\n$20.49 for 6-pack at GoPuff.com \r\nCalifornia Cowboy High Sierra Shirt\r\n\r\nTurn flannel season on its head with a shirt that holds. Your. Beer. For. You. This particular piece of apparel from California Cowboy, lined with thermal that “hugs you like a unicorn,” not only features loops for your sunglasses and gloves, but also pockets for your phone, bottle opener, and cracked open beverage. It's a whole new approach for beer lovers living the Après life.\r\n\r\n$238 at Shop.CaliforniaCowboy.com\r\nYETI Hopper M Series Portable Cooler\r\n\r\nIt's started to get a little chilly for camping season, but that doesn't mean someone can't benefit from a top-of-the-line cooler. This YETI cooler is not only incredibly durable and water-resistant, but also extremely lightweight and portable, for those of you who like to hike or tailgate.\r\n\r\n$350 at Amazon.com\r\nHost Freeze Beer Glasses\r\n\r\n\r\nThis isn't your ordinary beer glass. Featuring a freezing gel within its double glass walls, this set of four glasses keeps beer nice and cold from first to last sip. We also love the comfortable silicone band around the middle, ensuring a slip-free drinking experience. \r\n\r\n$46.97 at Amazon.com\r\nGrowlerWerks uKeg Stainless Steel Growler\r\n\r\nThis stainless steel growler is as sleek as it is functional. Not only can it store eight to 10 beers, but it can keep beer fresh for weeks, meaning they can buy their brews in bulk to rack up savings.\r\n\r\n$178 at Amazon.com\r\nBeer of the Month Subscription\r\n\r\nSubscription boxes are still all the rage and a beer-themed one is a great option to go with if you’re shopping for a beer lover who seemingly has it all gadget-wise. Since the delivery comes every month, they’ll also be reminded of your thoughtfulness on the reg.\r\n\r\nFind out more at BeerMonthClub.com\r\nSwag Brewery Brew Candle, Set of 3\r\n\r\nBeer scented candles might not sound so appealing at first. No one wants their living room to smell like a stale pint. But these candles feature only the best brew notes. With more than 40 hours of burn time, they will fill their space with fresh, fruity and, at times, spicy fragrance.\r\n$39.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBrisked Beer Chiller Sticks\r\n\r\n\r\nNo beer, watered-down beer or warm beer is not a decision any beer lover should ever have to make, and with this chiller, they never will. All they have to do is freeze one of the chillers and when they're ready to drink, insert it into the beer bottle.\r\n\r\n$9.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBeer Bottle Cap USA Map\r\n\r\n\r\nGreat for the beer lover who takes great pride in trying unique, lesser-known varieties. This wooden beer cap USA map will allow them to display their finds in an artful way. \r\n\r\n$34.99 at Amazon.com\r\nGrowlerWerks uPint\r\n\r\nIt’s no German beer boot, but it’s a heck of a lot more functional. This insulated pint glass is designed from food-grade stainless steel to keep beer optimally cool. It also has side divots for easy gripping, even if they’ve thrown back a few too many brews.\r\n\r\n$28 at Amazon.com\r\n'Drink Better Beer' - Joshua M. Bernstein\r\n\r\nBeer expert Joshua M. Bernstein is back with more insights on what beers to enjoy and how to best savor them. With recommendations from more than 100 professionals, this book taps into everything from brew shopping to glass cleaning.\r\n\r\n$11.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMiller Lite Dart Board\r\n\r\n\r\nHave a Miller fan on your list? Let them showcase their love of beer and upgrade game nights with this themed dartboard.\r\n\r\n$152.99 at Amazon.com\r\nThe Bucket List by Justin Kennedy\r\n\r\nGreat for the traveling beer lover in your life, this book offers all the insider recommendations they need to drink only the best of brews around the globe. From long-standing breweries to fresh, trendy spots, its got 'em all.\r\n\r\n$35 at Amazon.com\r\nFlight of Beer Soap\r\n\r\nBeer lovers would bathe in brews if they could. However, the sticky end result might not be quite what they pictured. Instead, gift them a flight of soaps. From stout to Pilsner, these beer soaps will give them a sudsy fresh feeling without a lingering brewery smell.\r\n\r\n$40 at RinseSoap.com\r\nGoodnight Brew by Karla Oceanak\r\n\r\nBonus points if this gift is for a new parent, \"Goodnight Brew\" offers a playful take on the children’s classic, \"Goodnight Moon.\" While this humorous parody comes in the form of a children’s book, it’s just as informative as it is whimsical thanks to the brew infographics that follow the story.\r\n\r\n$16.95 at Amazon.com\r\nNorthern Brewer HomeBrewing Starter Kit\r\n\r\nEvery beer lover should experience at-home brewing at least once. While quality will always vary, making your own beer gives you a newfound appreciation for the craft – and the act of brewing itself offers a crash course on the scientific side of enjoying beer.\r\n\r\n$155.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBarrel-Aged Stout and Selling Out by Josh Noel\r\n\r\nIf the beer lovers you’re buying for are history buffs, they’ll love this engrossing book which looks at how craft beer became the mega-industry it is today, while bringing up questions about how breweries should optimally grow. \r\n\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Gifts for Wine Lovers\r\n\tAnniversary Gifts for Him\r\n\tGift Ideas for Boyfriends", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Beer, Lovers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "81", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-gifts-for-beer-lovers/askmen-lead-image-2x1-3-1759327193.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-gifts-for-beer-lovers.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:58:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92387", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs She's Picking You Up", "title_slug": "10-signs-shes-picking-you-up", "title_hash": "fa31bdbb53c5a75f8bf474a21f869c6b", "summary": "She's eyeing you and playing with her hair, but does she want to take you home? Pick up on her 10 smooth moves.", "content": "So you’re in the company of a woman you find attractive, but you’re not quite sure if she likes you likes you or if she’s just being friendly. You're not alone. Flirting is intentionally subtle, after all, and women are notoriously less overt in making romantic overtures than men. If you're waiting for a woman to ask you for a coffee, or approach you on the street out of nowhere, you're doing it wrong. But just because women don't harass men at bars or offer to buy them drinks doesn't mean women never initiate a flirtation. Oh, on the contrary! But their methods are definitely different.\r\nIn fact, chances are pretty good that you've had a woman flirt with you and didn't even realize it. Maybe you thought she was just being polite and not really flirting, or maybe you were completely oblivious to what she was putting down, but women often express frustration at how bad men are at picking up their signals. \r\nRELATED: 5 Flirting Techniques That Can Backfire on Men\r\nThankfully, you can learn to distinguish between ordinary friendliness and subtle flirtation, mostly because women tend to send some of the same signals over and over again. Don't believe us? Here are 10 subtle signs she's romantically interested in you.\r\n1. She's Giving You the Look\r\nYou’ll know if she’s giving you sexy eyes: They’ll smolder from across the room (or across the short distance between you two), and leave no doubt that she sees you as more than just a friend.\r\n2. She Keeps Touching You\r\nSome women are touchy-feely, even with their friends; but if she’s repeatedly touching you on the arm or leg in a playful way, she’s probably indicating that she finds you attractive.\r\n3. She's Laughing at Your Mediocre Jokes\r\nLaughing at a person’s jokes is a great social lubricant and indication that you find their company worthwhile, but if she’s acting like you’re the funniest man in the world, she’s definitely throwing you a bone by signaling that she’s into you.\r\n4. She's Really Listening to Your Stories\r\nIf she’s showing a great deal of interest in all your stories, it could mean one of two things: either you’re an amazing storyteller who she finds interesting in a platonic way… or she’s trying to pick you up. Hint: unless everyone always finds you this dazzling, it’s probably the latter.\r\n5. She's Ignoring Her Friends While Talking to You\r\nIf you’re at a bar or a party and she’s ignoring her friends for your sake for most of the night, that’s a pretty clear sign that you’re the one she wants to spend her time with.\r\n6. She's Dressed Up for You\r\nIf you have arranged to meet ahead of time — for example, on a Tinder date, as opposed to meeting randomly in a bar — pay attention to how she’s presenting herself. If she’s dressed up to the nines on your behalf, it's a good sign she's hoping to snag you.\r\n7. She Asked After You\r\nYou know that thing high school kids do when Dave tells Tyson to tell Becca that he likes her friend Jess? Adults do that too sometimes. If she’s passed a message through a chain of friends that she’s into you, then guess what: She’s into you!\r\n8. She Temporarily Got Rid of All Her Guy Friends\r\nGuy friends can look like boyfriends to the casual observer. If she’s making them clear off when you approach, she might be trying to signal to you that she’s available.\r\n9. She Looks for Excuses to Prolong the Conversation\r\nIf your conversation has been winding along for a while but she won’t quite let it end — usually with prolonging questions like “So, where else have you traveled?” or “What’s your favorite song?” — she’s trying to spend more time with you. That, my friend, is a good sign she’s into you.\r\n10. She Tells You That She's Picking You Up\r\nIt's the 21st century, and plenty of women are ready to ditch the subliminal approach and tell you — with words — that they're into you. This may come in the following forms: \"You're cute,\" \"Tonight's been really fun,\" and best of all, \"Let's do this again soon.\" Look no further than this very obvious sign!So there you have it. Clearly, there are no guarantees that a woman is into you until she says so, and the world of dating can be rife with ambiguity, but if she’s giving you any of the above 10 signs — or better yet, a combination of two or more — you can be pretty sure you’re being picked up. Nice one!\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Tell if a Girl Likes You10 Compliments Women Can't ResistSigns She's Cheating on You", "keywords": ", Signs, Shes, Picking, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/50_dating_list/askmen-lead-image-2x1-4-1759330452.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/50_dating_list.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:58:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92388", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Prime Big Deal Days: Everything We Know", "title_slug": "prime-big-deal-days-everything-we-know", "title_hash": "c9d72b49675274e76a8efd94d6f7abfb", "summary": "Get a Head Start on Your Holiday Shopping With Amazon's Prime Big Deal Days", "content": "Amazon has thrown us another curveball by announcing a second major sales event this year, right on time for the holiday season. Which means, if you missed out on the Prime Day deals back in mid-July, you'll soon have a second chance to save on major and minor purchases alike.\r\nThat's right: on October 7th and 8th, Amazon will host its Big Deal Days extravaganza, with massive discounts across all its major product categories, from fun trinkets and knickknacks to big-ticket items like televisions and appliances. You can get a jump on your holiday shopping, finding presents for your loved ones, or finally buy that computer or 4K TV you've been eyeing. And if you're really savvy, you'll make sure to check out those daily and weekly essentials, from batteries to garbage bags, and those mundane household items like toasters and microwaves, as these, too, will likely be more affordable during these two upcoming October days than at any other time in the year.\r\nHere's everything we think you need to know about this massive savings opportunity.\r\n\r\nWhen Is the Prime Big Deal Days Event Happening?\r\n\r\nThe second Prime sales event of 2025 begins Tuesday, October 7 at midnight PST/3 a.m. EST, and continues through to the end of Wednesday, October 8, placing it just under seven weeks ahead of the upcoming Black Friday sales and nearly two months before Christmas, giving you all the time in the world to stock up on vital gifts for friends and family at a steep discount. \r\n\r\nThe Pre-Sale Discount\r\n\r\nTo advertise the Big Deal Days sale and get shoppers excited for the discounts to come, Amazon is already discounting some items, including select Echo and Ring smart home devices.\r\nEcho Show 5 (newest model)\r\n\r\nOne of the easiest and most affordable smart home upgrades involves sticking a smart device in your living room or kitchen, something that can act as a digital hub to organize and manage your family's life and coordinate your busy schedules. The Show 5 with built-in Alexa support is supremely capable, allowing you to check baby/pet cameras, stream your favorite shows and music, track your online orders and even make video calls to distant relatives.\r\n$89.99 $54.99 at Amazon.com\r\nRing Battery Doorbell\r\n\r\nBefore you spend thousands of dollars on a new home security setup, cover your basics with the Ring video doorbell. This particular, battery-powered version makes installation a total breeze, without any complicated wiring work needed, and instantly gives you both motion detection alerts and a two-way talk feature, so you can tell a visitor to enter or give instructions for a package delivery, even when you're not home.\r\n$99.99 $49.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nWhat Do I Have to Do to Score the Best Deals?\r\n\r\nAlright, you know the where and you know the when — all that's left is the how. As with the regular Prime Day sales event, you will need an Amazon Prime membership to be eligible for these savings, but if you don't already have one, never fear: you can simply sign up for a free trial and then cancel your membership after the fact, before the first payment is even due.\r\nAside from that, you're probably going to feel a bit overwhelmed. After all, there will be thousands and thousands of deals, with new ones added every minute, and finding what you want or might want can be like looking for a needle in a digital haystack.\r\nNever fear, though, because we at AskMen will be covering the event, bringing you the best deals across some of the most important categories, from tech and fashion to grooming and couples gifts. Follow our coverage closely and you can knock off most of your holiday shopping in advance, and maybe even grab all the Halloween decorations and costumes you need to celebrate October 31st with the whole family.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Best Tech DealsBest Fashion DealsBest Grooming Deals", "keywords": "Prime, Big, Deal, Days:, Everything, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/home-auto/prime-big-deal-days-everything-we-know/askmen-lead-image-template-1696902140.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/home-auto/prime-big-deal-days-everything-we-know.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:58:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92385", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Make Veggies Taste Better, According to Pro Chefs", "title_slug": "how-to-make-veggies-taste-better-according-to-pro-chefs", "title_hash": "892c8a3292768c6b73c91966d8f8eb77", "summary": "Upgrade Your Kitchen Skills With These 10 Chef-Approved Tips for Tastier Vegetables", "content": "There are some truisms we just can’t escape when it comes to healthy eating — one of which is that getting enough veggies is super important. \r\nVegetables fill you up while offering gut-friendly fiber (which studies show most Americans are lacking). Not only that, but they’re packed with essential vitamins and minerals that benefit every organ in the body while keeping your immune system in tip-top shape.\r\n \r\nThe Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend that adults consume 2-3 cups of vegetables per day, or about nine servings — which seems to be a struggle for some people to achieve. In fact, only about 1 in 10 adults currently meets this requirement. But if anyone knows how to make veggies taste amazing, it’s chefs. That’s why we tapped a few professionals for their tips.\r\nAs it turns out, there are lots of ways to make veggies more appetizing. Even just switching to a different cooking oil that can withstand high heat, adding a different seasoning, or making sure not to crowd your pan can go a long way when it comes to yielding tastier results.\r\nRELATED: Vegetables for Muscle Building\r\nBelow, chefs from a range of renowned restaurants share their secrets to cooking crave-worthy vegetables every time.\r\nTry Avocado Oil\r\nOlive oil may be the old standby for cooking vegetables, but you might want to consider switching it up now and then.\r\n“I like to use avocado oil when sautéing vegetables because of the high smoke point,” says Jason Santos, Chef/Owner of Buttermilk & Bourbon and Citrus & Salt.\r\nA higher smoke point allows you to get the pan hotter without the oil burning — which means you can achieve a crisp, even slightly browned exterior without losing all the nutrients and flavor in the veggies.\r\nLean Into Citrus\r\nIt’s amazing what a squeeze of lemon, lime, or even grapefruit can do to enhance your veggies, says Robert Sisca, Executive Chef at Bistro du Midi and The Banks. The acidity in these citrus fruits can add an unexpectedly tart twist while also preserving the vegetable’s color.\r\n“When making green purées — like peas, broccoli, or fava beans — a dash of lemon juice or lemon oil really elevates the flavor and adds a fresh, bright note,” says Cosmica Chef Yuval Ochoa.\r\nRyan Skeen, chef at The Beehive also notes that preserved lemon pairs wonderfully with beets, offering some nice contrast to the earthy flavor of this root vegetable.\r\nAdd Contrast With Sweetness\r\nSpeaking of fruit, you don’t have to stop at citrus — feel free to get creative here. At Bistro di Midi, Sisca notes that a current cauliflower side dish has fresh pomegranate seeds on it.\r\n“This gives a nice burst of sweetness and texture to the dish,” he explains.\r\n \r\nOne of the reasons why cauliflower and pomegranate pair so well together is that they’re both winter veggies. So, as a general rule, try to combine fruits and veggies that are in season at the same time — for example, apples are a nice addition to roasted fall veggies like parsnips and squash.\r\nAnother great way to add some unexpected sweetness to your veggies? With balsamic glaze. This is the key ingredient in Baramor chef Chris Gagnon’s crowd-pleasing Brussels sprouts agrodolce.\r\n \r\n“I halve the sprouts, peel off some of the outer leaves, and steam them quickly so they stay tender,” he tells AskMen. “After that, I season them with kosher salt, black pepper, and olive oil, then cook until they’re crispy on the outside. The magic happens when I toss them in a balsamic glaze — it adds that sweet-savory balance.”\r\nMarinate for a Flavor Boost\r\n“The key to getting the most flavor out of your vegetables is to treat them like a piece of meat,” says Puritan & Company chef/owner Will Gilson. \r\nMore specifically, Gilson recommends marinating them. For example, he recommends letting sliced zucchini bathe in a simple combo of soy sauce, ginger, and sesame oil overnight.\r\n“The next day just remove from the marinade and add them to the grill and they will develop so much flavor,” he tells AskMen.\r\nSkeen also says that after slow-cooking leeks in a white balsamic vinaigrette, he likes to let them marinate overnight to soak up all the flavor.\r\nSantos also suggests using a touch of fish sauce and sugar on your veggies for a tasty glaze that’s bursting with umami taste.\r\nAnd even if you don’t marinate your veggies — you can always serve them with a dipping sauce to amplify the flavor. Jesus Averalo, chef at Sogno, blanches romanesco, deep fries it until crispy, and then serves it with a creamy parmesan and lemon aioli.\r\nBlanch With Plenty of Salt — and Follow With a Cold Shock\r\nWhen blanching your veggies, Midnight Morning chef Rory Lee says you probably need to add more salt to the water than you think.\r\n“It should be slightly less salty than ocean water,” he explains. “A lot of people think adding more salt is unhealthy but the truth is most of that salt remains in the water. The idea is that by creating mineral-rich water there’s no mineral exchange between the vegetable itself and the water.”\r\nThis yields a more nutrient-rich, vibrant, crispy vegetable, adds Santos.\r\nBut immediately after blanching, don’t forget to dunk the vegetables in ice water. Lee says this slows down the cooking process, locking in the color and nutrients.\r\n \r\n“This process works best with green vegetables like green beans, broccoli, and peas, but it’s also OK for hardier root vegetables like carrots, beets, and parsnips as well,” says Lee.\r\nRELATED: Kitchen Gadgets to Help You Eat Healthier\r\nBy the way — blanching and then cold shocking happens to be Gagnon’s favorite way to cook asparagus. \r\n“After that, I coat the spears in Italian dressing,” he tells AskMen. “I usually make my own, but store-bought works fine too. Then, I throw them on the grill until you get that nice caramelization on the outside. It’s fresh, smoky, and pairs perfectly with any dish.”\r\nGrab the Cornstarch\r\nCornstarch is Santos’ secret weapon when he’s seeking a super crispy outcome — all you need is about a tablespoon or so for every pound of vegetables. Just toss them in a bowl or container to get all sides evenly coated.\r\nThis is a great hack for achieving ultra-crunchy buffalo cauliflower when you roast it in the oven or air fry it. A cornstarch coating also works particularly well on potatoes and other root veggies.\r\nAmp Up the Heat\r\n“I love vegetables that are cooked with high heat techniques like roasting, broiling and grilling — concentrating the flavors, amplifying the texture with lots of crunchy edges and adding layers of complexity and richness,” says Erin Miller, chef at Urban Hearth.\r\n \r\nFor instance, Miller often roasts cruciferous veggies like broccoli at 400 degrees Fahrenheit after tossing in olive oil and sea salt.\r\n \r\n“This produces a vegetable that is still intensely green, with leaves that are tinged with char, and a flavor that is both sweet and bitter,” she tells AskMen. \r\nAfter taking the veggies out of the oven, the possibilities are endless — Miller suggests a quick toss with your favorite vinaigrette, fermented hot sauce, or some crumbled blue cheese.\r\n \r\n“Another high heat technique that I love to use with vegetables is roasting root vegetables in ash,” she adds. “Sounds crazy, I know — but for potatoes, beets, celery root, and radishes, burying them in a combination of 50/50 clean wood ash and kosher salt produces a super concentrated, sweet, intensely flavorful and slightly smokey vegetable. And once you’re done, stow that ash away for your next veg roasting project. It keeps, and gets better and more complex the more you use it.”\r\nDon’t Be Shy With Spice\r\nWithout a doubt, spices are one of the quickest and easiest ways to make veggies more interesting.\r\n“Dry rubs, much like on a roast or a steak, will add a dynamic flavor to the vegetables,” says Gilson. “Throw a spice blend like ras al hanout, baharat, or even curry on some cauliflower with Greek yogurt as a way to get the spices to stick and then roast in the oven. The cauliflower becomes the main course.”\r\nAt The Banks, Sisca adds tangy labneh and warm, nutty dukkah to the baby Brussels sprouts for a Middle Eastern-inspired take.\r\n“I also like to add vadouvan spice (French curry) to our whole roasted cauliflower for a kick,” he adds.\r\nOne of Lee’s favorite veggie additions is achiote paste, which is made from crushed annatto seeds mixed with garlic, vinegar, and a blend of spices. \r\n“Lately I've been using it when I roast carrots,” Lee says. “I’ll toss the carrots with olive oil, sliced shallots and garlic, paprika and achiote paste, place them in a roasting pan with a cup or two of water, and throw them in the oven uncovered at 400 degrees Fahrenheit. To really elevate this you can mash the carrots with crushed toasted almonds, sherry vinegar, and some roasted red peppers to make a wonderful gluten-free romesco.”\r\nWhen in Doubt, Just Sear\r\n“The same principle that is used in searing meat called the ‘maillard reaction’ works extremely well with broccoli,” says Gilson. “Cut long, flat planks out of the stem and crown of broccoli and sear it in a pan with olive oil. If needed, you can even press it with a bacon press to ensure that the most surface area is on the pan so it gets brown and caramelized.\"\r\nGagnon likes to get olive oil nice and hot in a pan before tossing in some green beans and letting them blister.\r\n“This gives them a crispy texture and a great earthy flavor,” he explains. “Once they’re blistered, I turn the heat down and add butter, garlic, kosher salt, and pepper, tossing everything together. It’s quick, easy, and super flavorful.”\r\nWhen cooking baby carrots, Skeen suggests tossing them in coconut oil and searing them on a plancha (or flat-top grill) to get a nice char.\r\n \r\n“The result is smoky, sweet, and full of character,” he tells AskMen.\r\nExperiment With Out-of-the-Box Techniques\r\nIf you’ve tried roasting, grilling, sauteeing, air frying and blanching your veggies and you’re ready to shake things up, Cosmica chef Yuval Ochoa has a few ideas for you.\r\n“One method I love is salt-baking root vegetables,” he says.\r\n \r\nSay you have some beets. You’d start by mixing a generous amount of kosher salt with just enough water to form a clay-like consistency, then completely coat the beets before baking them at medium heat for about an hour. \r\n“Once done, the salt hardens into a shell that you’ll need to crack open,” says Ochoa. “The result? Perfectly cooked, beautifully seasoned beets. This method is inspired by traditional Peruvian cooking, where indigenous people would bake potatoes in salt and dirt for similar results.”\r\nAccording to Ochoa, you can also use this same approach with other root veggies like kohlrabi, chayote, and turnips. One of his favorite dishes, though, is a beet tartare with salt-baked red beets cut into tiny cubes and served with black garlic aioli.\r\n“Smoking vegetables is another great way to introduce unique layers of flavor,” Ochoa adds. “Cold-smoking carrots, for example, gives them a texture reminiscent of smoked salmon, while smoked cherry tomatoes add an incredible depth to tomato-based pasta dishes.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nThe Top Diet Mistakes Men Make (and How to Fix Them)How to Make Your Food HealthierHow to Store Every Fruit and Vegetable in Your Kitchen", "keywords": "How, Make, Veggies, Taste, Better, According, Pro, Chefs", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-to-make-veggies-taste-better-according-to-pro-chefs/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1759434543.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-to-make-veggies-taste-better-according-to-pro-chefs.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:58:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92255", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Top 10 Most Passionate Football Fanbases in the World – Ranked", "title_slug": "top-10-most-passionate-football-fanbases-in-the-world-ranked", "title_hash": "32db732f1e7cba6f1d302f699432070c", "summary": "Football is not just a game, it’s an international culture driven by millions of dedicated fans. For Nigerian punters, knowing the fan bases of these teams can across various countries the world offers a better illustration of game atmospheres and even player performance. This knowledge can help improve your betting strategies on Melbet Nigeria and other online sports betting sites as well, since predicting match outcomes isn’t just about stats – it’s also influenced by the emotional energy fans bring to the game. Why Passionate Football Fans Matter to Nigerian Sports Bettors? In football, however, the fans’ enthusiasm can have a significant impact on how a match goes. Passionate backers generate electric atmospheres that buoy home teams and can be unnerving to visiting ones. For Nigerians who like sports betting online, understanding these dynamics gives them an advantage. It always helps to know which clubs have passionate, loyal supporters so you can make better bets and improve you", "content": "

Football is not just a game, it’s an international culture driven by millions of dedicated fans. For Nigerian punters, knowing the fan bases of these teams can across various countries the world offers a better illustration of game atmospheres and even player performance. This knowledge can help improve your betting strategies on Melbet Nigeria and other online sports betting sites as well, since predicting match outcomes isn’t just about stats – it’s also influenced by the emotional energy fans bring to the game. Why Passionate Football Fans Matter to Nigerian Sports Bettors? In football, however, the fans’ enthusiasm can have a significant impact on how a match goes. Passionate backers generate electric atmospheres that buoy home teams and can be unnerving to visiting ones. For Nigerians who like sports betting online, understanding these dynamics gives them an advantage. It always helps to know which clubs have passionate, loyal supporters so you can make better bets and improve your odds. The Role of Fan Atmosphere in Match Outcomes More often than not, players’ morale and play under the pitch are influenced by what happens in the stands. A boisterous home crowd can inspire players to go beyond their ability, while a […]

The post Top 10 Most Passionate Football Fanbases in the World – Ranked appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Top, Most, Passionate, Football, Fanbases, the, World, –, Ranked", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/most1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/most-passionate-football-fanbases-in-the-world-ranked/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:54:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92210", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Girl I Met on Day One of University Showed Me a Different Kind of Love", "title_slug": "the-girl-i-met-on-day-one-of-university-showed-me-a-different-kind-of-love", "title_hash": "f3a3545aea2dd46e222a3d9b41a77847", "summary": "It was after our first lecture. I was moving around trying to collect contacts from classmates when I saw her for the second time. I walked up, leaned in a …", "content": "

It was after our first lecture. I was moving around trying to collect contacts from classmates when I saw her for the second time. I walked up, leaned in a little and said, “Eii, I’ve seen you again.” She looked at me and smiled. Before she could say anything, I introduced myself: “I’m Collins.” And just like that, we started talking.

That day, I walked her to her hostel. She didn’t seem like much of a talker, so I did the honours. I talked about everything that came to mind: Bible, politics, education, relationships. Maybe in her head she was thinking, “God, this guy is such a chatterbox.” I also felt like she thought I wanted her as a girlfriend, so she was holding back. You know the way girls behave when they’re not sure of you. So, I pulled out my phone and showed her a picture: “That’s me and my girlfriend. I just want us to be friends.”

And that was it. She opened up. She told me about her best female friend, someone she no longer spoke to. She said she had been praying for a male bestie, someone she could really trust. Me too, I wanted the same.

From then on, that is how the friendship started. She began teaching me how to cook. I would call her for step-by-step instructions on how to make stew. Sometimes she would invite me over to show me herself. I failed most of the time and she always had something negative to say about my stew, but in the middle of my frustration, she would just hug me.

She defended me in class, in front of mates and even lecturers. We were both studying BSc Economics. She handled the maths because she was good at it, and I handled the reading courses.

She was the one who noticed the girls crushing on me, and I did the same for her with the boys. We would sit and gist for hours, tease each other, laugh, and grow together. She knows when I have money and when I don’t, when I’m worried and when I’m happy. She knows the little details of my life.

In public, she’d secretly pull money from her bag and hand it to me to buy something. You know that feeling when you want to eat but the money in your pocket is telling you “don’t try”? She solved that for me.

We even share an inside joke—we call ourselves “Agya Koo kids” and not “Cocoa Krakye kids.”

One time, I was on the phone with my grandma. She was asking for money. I called my elder brother later, confused about why they’d call us students for money. After the call, I got a momo alert. It was this girl, standing beside me. She whispered, “Send it to her.” I looked at her, and tears started rolling down my face. I’ve been loved before, but to this extent? No. Agya Koo ba!!

Everywhere we go, people ask: “What’s going on between you two? Are you sure you’re not dating?” We just look at each other, smile, and say, “We’re just friends.” Now we’re in level 300, and we’re still not dating. In fact, we promised each other we won’t. Of course, people don’t believe us, but her mother does, and that’s enough.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

Sometimes it’s not about dating. She says I’m an answered prayer. I just smile because honestly, she is mine too.

I’ve learned to love without needing romance, and it’s all because of her. With her, I’m learning to cook still struggling with jollof, but we’ll get there . I’m growing, becoming a better man, and it’s all thanks to Akosua.

Sometimes we post each other on our status with the caption: “Wherever you see best-friend awards being given, kindly invite us.”

We’re just living in our own world, doing our own thing. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
\n#MomentYouFeltLoved

—Kwesi

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", "keywords": "The, Girl, Met, Day, One, University, Showed, Different, Kind, Love", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/2149160291.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-girl-i-met-on-day-one-of-university-showed-me-a-different-kind-of-love/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:53:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92208", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After Seven Years of Marriage, I Found Out He Was Trying to Tie Me Down Spiritually", "title_slug": "after-seven-years-of-marriage-i-found-out-he-was-trying-to-tie-me-down-spiritually", "title_hash": "10f7ac3029b70e6d96a699d11a17359b", "summary": "I got married when I was twenty-four: young, beautiful, naive, and in love. Men would stop me and ask for my number even when I was wearing my ring. They …", "content": "

I got married when I was twenty-four: young, beautiful, naive, and in love. Men would stop me and ask for my number even when I was wearing my ring. They didn’t believe me when I said I was married. They thought I was saying it just to push them away. I felt disrespected that I would wear a ring and still get that call. “Or is my ring invisible?” I wondered.

To make it more visible, I added another wedding ring on my right finger. “If they don’t see the left one, then they’ll definitely see the right one.”

I was so immature even my family doubted if I was ready for marriage or experienced enough to know the ropes. I was determined to make it work, whatever it took.

Our problems started when we had a child. I wasn’t giving him trouble in the house, but he started staying out late, leaving me and the child alone. I complained. I called for his care the way the thunder calls for the rain. I cried sometimes, but nothing changed.

Not long afterwards, I found out about the other women. The ones he travelled with and the ones he hid on his phone. I thought the problem was me. If I played my role well, he wouldn’t have gone for other women. I took the blame and did not fight him. I rather decided to be better, but no matter what I did, the women in his life grew in number.

I started asking questions. When I didn’t get good answers, I brought his family in to have the issues resolved. He promised to do better, but he got better at hiding the women. Things got worse when the second child came. I noticed one girl in his life who never went away. She became the reason we constantly fought.

I begged him to let her go. He told me he would, but that lady never went away. I asked myself, “What does he see in her that he’s clinging to her like she was his messiah?” When I looked in the mirror and compared myself to that girl, I had two children, but that girl could not match me in beauty. “So what’s wrong? I do my best and do my job as a wife, so what’s happening?”

My aunt came to stay with us so she could be closer to a particular health facility where she was receiving care. She came around often when she had a hospital appointment. She came one day, and the following day I had to go and visit my sick mother. My aunt was living in the house with him, yet he was able to bring his girlfriend to come and stay with him.

My aunt thought she was family, but days later, when she watched the way the two were behaving, she concluded they were not family but dating. Yet she didn’t want to tell me about it.

She said she was in her room when the lady came to knock on her door. My husband had gone to work, so it was left with only the two of them. The lady told her, “I learned you’re Becky’s aunt. Please don’t tell her I came around else it will affect their marriage. She thinks I’m dating her husband, but I’m not, so you shouldn’t let her know a woman was here.”

My aunt went crazy and asked, “Who do you take me for? A child? Do you know how long I’ve been on this earth?”

So my aunt picked up the phone and told me everything, and then said, “Don’t let him know that I’m the one who told you, and don’t start a fight because of that.”

I’d gotten to a point in the marriage where nothing surprised me, so I didn’t make a sound about what my aunt told me. I wasn’t even going to ask him about it, but when I returned home, I saw a jacket lying under the sofa. I looked at the size and knew who it was for. When he came back, I asked who the jacket was for and he said, “It’s for Linda.”

Linda. That’s the side chick’s name. “So Linda came here when I was away? You brought your side chick into a house where my aunt is? How do you want her to see me? A fool?”

He didn’t talk back. He went inside and caged himself there. Later that same day, I found earrings belonging to the same girl. I decided I’d had enough, so I moved from the bedroom to the guest room. I needed to take care of myself, the kids, and their mental health.

A few months later, I was looking through an old phone my kids were using and I found a message he had sent to someone. He said, “I want to tie her down spiritually so she wouldn’t be able to divorce me.”

The person sent him a list of items he needed to buy and added instructions on how to use the items to tie me down spiritually. The whole thing sounded bizarre. You don’t like me, so you went for side chicks, but you still want to tie me down spiritually so I don’t leave? Make it make sense. The person also warned him not to let me see any of the items or get a hint he was going to do that. So me knowing it destroyed everything.

The matter was brought before the family once again. They asked him what I had done, and he couldn’t mention a single thing I’d done against him apart from suspicion that I was cheating on him. He told the family I’d moved out of the room and slept alone so I might be cheating. I laughed. I narrated the whole story to the family, everything I’d been through. They already knew part of the story because we had been going before them.

He started bringing women home. I had already decided to leave the house before he did anything diabolical. We had lived in separate rooms for two years. I just told myself, “I have to leave this house for him and go ahead with the divorce because he wasn’t going to do it.”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

I rented a new place and moved with the kids. I got a lawyer and served him with the divorce papers. He accepted all the conditions I stated without a fight. He made it easier for the divorce to happen, and I thank him for that.

I’m still young. After ten years of a tortuous marriage, I still look like I was born yesterday—pretty and free. When I’m ready, I will give love a chance again. Who knows, the second chance might be all I need to find my better half.

—Becky

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******

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I moved in with my boyfriend, without the knowledge of my parents. The very first month I got there I got pregnant. At the beginning, he spoiled me financially.

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But after just a month, things started to change. He began drinking heavily and staying out late into the night. Sometimes he would leave the house around 1 p.m. and not return until 3 a.m. When I questioned him, he told me, “I’m a man, I can do whatever I want.”

Before I moved in, I had already opened my workplace and had people working under me. He took me out of work when I started living with him. He said he was rich and could provide everything I needed. Since I was pregnant, I reluctantly accepted his decision.

As the months passed, his behaviour grew worse. He openly received calls from his girlfriends in front of me. My pregnancy was difficult. I was often sick, but he showed me no affection, no care. One day, out of curiosity, I checked his phone and saw chats with different women. To one of them, he wrote that I was the one who forced myself into his house, and that he wasn’t married.

Loneliness consumed me because I was new in that area and had no friends. Even when I cooked, he would sometimes return home late at night with his six male friends, and I would be forced to wake up, warm the food, and serve all of them before they went back to their apartments.

I complained many times, cried, and prayed for change, but nothing worked.

One rainy night, he went out and didn’t return home. At 1 a.m., I locked the door and went to bed. He later came back, but since I didn’t hear his knocks, he slept at a friend’s place. The next morning, instead of speaking to me, he entered the house, removed the TV, gas cylinder, and some of his clothes, and told me he was leaving.

“Since you want to control my life, why don’t you keep the house?”

He even gave me transport money in case I wanted to return to my parents. Pregnant and devastated, I went on my knees and begged him to stay.

After that, I stopped questioning his lifestyle. I focused on my pregnancy, the house chores, cooking, and washing his clothes while he went out to see other women. Unlike before, he no longer involved me in his outings.

When my pregnancy was six months along, he told me one night: “Since your pregnancy is getting bigger, I want you to go to your village and give birth there so your mother can take care of you properly.” I agreed, and for a short while, he became nice again. He even gave me money for personal upkeep, including my hair.

Months later, I went to the village to give birth. Before I had the baby, my neighbour called me, and said: “Your man has brought another woman into the house.” My heart shattered. When I confronted him, he replied coldly: “I will live my life the way I want. Nobody can change me, not even you. If you’re tired of me, move on.”

I confided in a woman who took me in like her own daughter. With her intervention, he later drove the girl away. When I gave birth, he paid the hospital bills, called often, and sent money for baby milk for four months. Then he stopped.

Before I left for the village, he had told me: “After three months, you’ll come back.” But now my baby is one year old, and I haven’t heard from him. He ignores my calls and has even blocked me. He’s always online, and sometimes he opens my messages but never replies.

Here is my dilemma, should I pack my bags, go to the city, and confront him? Or should I move on quietly with my life and stop bothering him?

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

Since I moved in with him, he has never bought me shoes, clothes, earrings, or bags. The only thing he ever bought for me was slippers, even though he regularly shops for himself and wears quality clothes.

Because of this, a part of me wants to demand that he give me a huge sum of money to take care of our child, rent an apartment, and reopen my shop.

—Naya

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I had a baby with Ricky before we got married, and I don’t regret it. We courted for four years. One thing we were both particular about was our sexual health. So we ran some STD tests before getting intimate. We also did routine tests as the relationship progressed.

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Ricky was the only man I had eyes for. Yes, I had a lot of male friends but I never fancied any of them. It was my man or no one else. Cheating never even crossed my mind.

We had spoken about our future together but no preparations were made toward marriage. Then I got pregnant. He took the news well. We agreed we would have the baby. I was anxious but I was also excited to be a mother.

I started antenatal clinic almost immediately. I didn’t want to take chances when it came to the well-being of the life I was growing inside me. Little did I know that I was the one going to pose health risks to my child.

I was made to run some tests. The doctor told me the results showed that I had HIV. I couldn’t believe it. I had done everything to be safe. I had only been with one partner in four years and we got tested regularly. So how could it be?

The news shattered me. Even though the doctors started me on ART medication to prevent transmission to the baby, I didn’t want to keep it anymore. I wanted to end the pregnancy and end myself. I just didn’t know how I was going to face Ricky with the news. I thought he would accuse me of things I hadn’t done and then leave me.

I kept thinking and brooding until he noticed I was unhappy and asked what was wrong. I pretended everything was okay at first but he kept pushing until I told him everything.

This man had always been sweet, loving, and caring throughout our relationship. I don’t know why I didn’t have faith in him to handle things maturely.

Instead of panicking and pointing fingers at me he said, “Let’s go to another hospital and check again, just to be sure.”

When we did, he tested negative while I still tested positive. I was distraught but he remained calm until we got home. There he took my hand in his and confessed his undying love for me.

“In sickness and in health, I love you. I am not going anywhere, so do me a favour and take your drugs, especially for the sake of our baby.”

He was by my side every step of the way. God being so good, I had a beautiful baby who tested negative. Now, I am pregnant with our second child. Ricky, who married me after we had our firstborn, is the ever-doting husband and an amazing father.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

\nI am glad he is the man I am doing life with. Walking this journey with him has taught me that my diagnosis is not a death sentence. It’s something that can be managed. Also, he never accused me of getting it from another man. We understand that I could have gotten it anywhere, the salon and other places I visit as a woman could have exposed me to such infections.

I am just grateful I have a man who chose me after all was said and done. I feel blessed to call you my husband, Mr Ricky. I love you.

—Achiaa

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", "keywords": ", Married, Even, After, Diagnosis", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_2549.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-married-me-even-after-my-diagnosis/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:53:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "92206", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Loved Him, But I Couldn’t Forgive Us For Our Choice", "title_slug": "i-loved-him-but-i-couldnt-forgive-us-for-our-choice", "title_hash": "54a30e06d7207446584748e9896a7ce4", "summary": "I met Kofi in my second year at university. He was my second love, and I was sure he would be my last. We were inseparable. Everyone on campus knew …", "content": "

I met Kofi in my second year at university. He was my second love, and I was sure he would be my last. We were inseparable. Everyone on campus knew we were a couple. He wasn’t perfect, but he was everything I wanted. We worked through conflict, we talked, and he was kind. So I gave him everything: my time, my resources, my heart.

I come from a family that has been abundantly blessed, and thankfully, they are generous. Since the death of my parents, my father’s relatives have supported me financially and emotionally. They raised me with love and never let me lack. From kindergarten through my current national service, they have stood by me without hesitation. Their support means I can raise funds quickly when needed. May God continue to bless them.

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Because of this security, I never asked Kofi for anything. I understood his financial situation and wanted to ease his burden. When things got tough, I paid his school fees for one semester and helped when I could. I cooked for us and spent between 500 to 1,000 cedis on groceries during market days. I wasn’t dating him for money. Everything I gave came from my heart and from the support of my family.

It wasn’t just me giving. Kofi gave too. Whenever he had money, he gave me the larger share. If he had 300 cedis, I got 250. He bought me gifts when he could. I gave back in my own way. I gave him my laptop after just two weeks of use. When I got a new phone, I gave him my previous one, even though it was more expensive than the one I use now. I’m not sharing this to boast. I just want to show how deeply we invested in each other.

We graduated together with second-class upper degrees. Shortly before graduation, I visited him. We were intimate, and despite taking emergency contraception, I got pregnant. If Kofi had been financially stable, I would have kept the baby. But I was terrified of disappointing my father’s family. So we made the decision to end the pregnancy. Kofi stood by me throughout.

It’s a decision I have regretted every single day since. I have spent countless hours on my knees asking God for forgiveness. I even asked Him to show me a sign if He had truly forgiven me. Recently, that sign came to pass. I hope He knows my heart.

After the termination, everything changed. I couldn’t stop thinking about what we had done. The guilt consumed me, and slowly, I began to fall out of love. Every moment with Kofi reminded me of our shared decision. It suffocated me.

I confided in a friend who is a therapist. We talked for hours, but nothing changed. I cried endlessly. It’s not that Kofi changed. He is still the man I wanted to marry. But I couldn’t stay. I tried to distance myself, hoping time would heal me. But it didn’t. His presence kept pulling me back to that painful memory. I felt dirty. I couldn’t imagine sharing a bed with him again, something I once cherished most.

Recently, we had a heart-to-heart. I told him everything. I explained that we needed to work through this and then go our separate ways. He didn’t take it well. Honestly, I didn’t come to this decision easily.

I applied to a school in the United States. Kofi helped with everything. He handled my transcript and application documents. Miraculously, I got admitted just one day after submission. If everything works out and I go, I will help him get there too. It’s the least I can do to thank him for all he has done.

Some might think I’m leaving because of someone else. That’s not true, and Kofi knows it. I don’t entertain other men. I don’t even talk to any man regularly. I don’t open messages from men who show interest, let alone date them.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

Dear Kofi,

I know you might see this. You know I love you. I still do. I know this is unbearably hard for both of us, but I believe we will be okay in the long run. Trust me, we will be.

I’m not emotionally available for this relationship anymore. You know me. You know I rarely let go of things. But this is the heaviest burden I have ever carried. Being with you constantly reminds me of what we did, and it makes me withdraw even more. I feel unclean.

So much has changed because of our decision. I wish you nothing but the best. I’m typing this through tears, but I know it’s for our own good. I can’t keep lying to myself or to you.

This isn’t the ending either of us imagined. But sometimes, love isn’t enough to overcome the weight of shared pain.

—Afia

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", "keywords": ", Loved, Him, But, Couldn’t, Forgive, For, Our, Choice", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "59", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/21966.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-loved-him-but-i-couldnt-forgive-us-for-our-choice/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-03 05:53:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91877", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Said She’d Bewitch Me Because I’m Becoming Successful", "title_slug": "she-said-shed-bewitch-me-because-im-becoming-successful", "title_hash": "71c366fabbc94f7ca1ba715fe37aea62", "summary": "I have this cousin. She’s my auntie’s daughter and ten years older than me. She grew up with our grandma, but after one of those family fights: because you know …", "content": "

I have this cousin. She’s my auntie’s daughter and ten years older than me. She grew up with our grandma, but after one of those family fights: because you know how it can be—she came to live with us. From the beginning, she was stubborn. Very stubborn. Troublesome, too. But she was also bubbly, loud, and entertaining. We joked about everything. We laughed a lot.

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When she moved in, we got close. We teased each other, talked about everything, and laughed till our stomachs hurt. I’m naturally very dark in complexion, and she’d joke about that sometimes. She’d say I was too dark or even ugly. But I didn’t mind. I thought it was just jokes. That’s the kind of person she is – always talking, always laughing.

But over time, I started noticing something. She’s competitive. Maybe even jealous. She carries this “I must be the best” attitude. Like no one is allowed to shine brighter than her. You can see it in how she talks, how she walks, and even how she treats my mom: her own aunty. It’s wild. How do you compete with me? We’re not even the same. I’m quiet, academic, and reserved. She’s loud, dramatic, and always in the centre. All fingers are not the same, but she doesn’t see it that way.

When I was 18, I got my provisional licence: the first step to learning how to drive. But money was tight, and my parents couldn’t afford the lessons. The licence expired after a year. I let it go.

One day, she came to visit us after she got married. I told her I’d come pick her up with our car. It was a joke. I couldn’t drive. My mom was the one driving. We picked her up, and when my mom stepped out to buy something, my cousin turned to me and said, “I’m so glad you weren’t the one who picked me up. It would’ve hurt me so much if a kid like you got a licence before me. Do you know I was happy when your provisional expired? I was so happy.”

I laughed. But inside, I felt something shift. That wasn’t funny. That was something else.

Recently, I joined a college project and, by the grace of God, I won. The prize was a trip to an Asian country. Somehow, she heard about it. I expected a simple “congratulations”. Instead, she said, “There’s no need to say congrats. You’ve always been intelligent. It was obvious.”

No joy. No warmth. Just that.

I’m working closely with her husband on a project. He’s been supportive, always asking how it’s going and offering help. We had a meeting recently, and she came along. She looked at me and said, “Wopɛ sɛ wo di nkɔso wɔ m’ani so yɛbɛyɛ wo abayisɛm.” You look like you’re about to be successful right in front of my eyes. We will bewitch you.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

I laughed. I thought she was joking. I said, “Why would you bewitch me? My success is our success. We’re family.” She replied, “What if you forget me?” Then she laughed and said, “I’m just joking.”

But I didn’t laugh back. I just smiled.

Now I’m asking myself—was that really a joke? Because sometimes, the things people say when they’re “just joking” carry the most truth. And sometimes, the laughter hides something darker.

—Adjoa

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", "keywords": "She, Said, She’d, Bewitch, Because, I’m, Becoming, Successful", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/149328.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/she-said-shed-bewitch-me-because-im-becoming-successful/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 05:41:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91371", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Now We Are No Longer Strangers", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-now-we-are-no-longer-strangers", "title_hash": "6f46c786cc5216b1514f5dadd124bb6c", "summary": "Make use of this charming and effective technique to overcome the “but we’re strangers!” objection and secure the date, kiss, or phone number from a girl.\nHere is a technique for handling the “but we’re strangers!” objection girls will raise against you from time to time. This objection is always raised as a reason to not comply with a request of yours.\nOur goal is to get her to comply.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"strangers$ Make use of this charming and effective technique to overcome the “but we’re strangers!” objection and secure the date, kiss, or phone number from a girl.

Here is a technique for handling the “but we’re strangers!” objection girls will raise against you from time to time. This objection is always raised as a reason to not comply with a request of yours.

Our goal is to get her to comply.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Now, Are, Longer, Strangers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/no-longer-strangers-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-now-we-are-no-longer-strangers", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 05:08:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91370", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 signs women sometimes want intimacy less than men", "title_slug": "9-signs-women-sometimes-want-intimacy-less-than-men", "title_hash": "7cf6a60677378195106d2bb8f7d5d615", "summary": "People love to make it sound simple. Men want it more, women want it less. But it’s not…", "content": "People love to make it sound simple. Men want it more, women want it less. But it’s not…", "keywords": ", signs, women, sometimes, want, intimacy, less, than, men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/intimacy-1-e1759257384462.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-signs-women-sometimes-want-intimacy-less-than-men/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 05:08:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91369", "lang_id": "1", "title": "11 Intimacy Secrets Men Rarely Share (But Women Should Know)", "title_slug": "11-intimacy-secrets-men-rarely-share-but-women-should-know", "title_hash": "57e7eb8b05c938551288bcbb04f0701d", "summary": "Here are 11 of those unspoken truths, laid out raw. Not to expose, but to help women see…", "content": "Here are 11 of those unspoken truths, laid out raw. Not to expose, but to help women see…", "keywords": ", Intimacy, Secrets, Men, Rarely, Share, But, Women, Should, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/IMG_8456.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/11-intimacy-secrets-men-rarely-share-but-women-should-know/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 05:08:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91227", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When He Said He Couldn’t Marry Me I Didn’t Know He Meant He Was Dying", "title_slug": "when-he-said-he-couldnt-marry-me-i-didnt-know-he-meant-he-was-dying", "title_hash": "2e81a32971a0af6efb6da594dcaeff68", "summary": "When I met him, I was in my second year at university, and he was doing his National Service at one of the big TV stations. I had just ended …", "content": "

When I met him, I was in my second year at university, and he was doing his National Service at one of the big TV stations. I had just ended a toxic relationship, so when my friend introduced us, the timing felt perfect, and I welcomed the distraction.

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We became close, and we started talking more and going on dates without my friend’s knowledge. It wasn’t planned, but we wanted to keep things quiet and just enjoy what we had.

By my final year, I sat down and went to the drawing board, and I realized he wasn’t serious. He never brought anything when he visited: not food, not gifts, not money: just himself standing in front of my door with nothing to offer. I stopped giving him access, and we stopped talking like we used to, especially since I got busy with my final project and exams, although we still spoke on the phone once in a while.

During my National Service, he got employed at the same company where he had served, and he asked to visit me again. I gave him directions and hoped he’d bring something this time, but he came empty-handed again. That was the day I decided I wasn’t going to give a man who didn’t provide a second chance, so I put effort into ignoring him, and this time it worked.

I got a job somewhere else, got married, and had kids, and someone told me he had gotten married too. Ten years passed, and one night, I was online late when I saw his message sitting quietly in my inbox.

We started talking again, and this time it felt different it was like teenagers dating again, except now we had responsibilities. We spoke about kids, life, work, and marriage, and that was when he told me he had separated from his partner, just like I had, and we both had two kids. He had moved back home, and I started spending weekends at his place while my kids stayed with my mom.

This time around, he wasn’t the same man—he wasn’t stingy, and he wasn’t distant. He gave freely, bought me gifts, treated me with care, and it felt good to be seen and loved without hesitation.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

One day, while we were on the phone, he said he couldn’t marry someone who knew too much about his past, and I knew he was talking about me. I didn’t argue, but I felt hurt, so I slowly stopped picking up his calls, and I began to pull away, just like I did the first time.

After some time, I travelled for a programme, and he called again, and because I was lonely, I picked up. He told me he had taken his annual leave and was going to his hometown to rest and unwind with his family, and I spoke to him like I wasn’t holding a grudge, even though he had hurt me and didn’t know it.

Three days later, my friend called and told me he was dead.

I had posted his photo on my status the day before, and I knew he hated when I did that, but I did it anyway because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. While I was remembering him, he was dying, and I didn’t even know.

His voice from our last call was still in my head, and his small laughter kept echoing in my mind, but I had no idea it would be the last time I’d hear it. He didn’t say goodbye, and I didn’t get the chance to ask if he was okay, but I’m glad I thought of him in his final hours.

Maybe he knew death was coming, and maybe that’s why he chose silence. Maybe he didn’t want me to become a widow, so he left quietly without warning.

Either way, I loved him twice, and he died the second time.

—Divine

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", "keywords": "When, Said, Couldn’t, Marry, Didn’t, Know, Meant, Was, Dying", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/2149735779.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-he-said-he-couldnt-marry-me-i-didnt-know-he-meant-he-was-dying/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 04:57:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91226", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Thought We Were Just Friends Until He Proposed", "title_slug": "i-thought-we-were-just-friends-until-he-proposed", "title_hash": "96938e0cfde957213a42b8e0ba5efe48", "summary": "Patrick ticks my boxes. He is religious, attentive to my needs, and cares deeply for me. He was my classmate in secondary school, but he only spent one semester in …", "content": "

Patrick ticks my boxes. He is religious, attentive to my needs, and cares deeply for me. He was my classmate in secondary school, but he only spent one semester in my school before transferring to a boarding school. I didn’t get the chance to know him properly before he left.

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Years later, we met again during a diploma program. We were in the same department and the same class. He recognised me the moment he set eyes on me. I used to see you around but I don’t seem to recall your name,” he said while flashing his teeth in a shy smile.

I offered him my hand and said, “I am Hannah.”

From then on, he was always nice to me. He made sure I never lacked anything—like handouts or lecture details. He also made sure I never forgot assignments and their deadlines.

Before long, we became best friends. Everywhere he went, I followed. We were always together whether in class or outside class.

In our last semester of level 100, he told me about his plans to move to a city. Our school was in a local government area. The news hit me hard. I didn’t want him to leave, but stopping him would have been selfish. I knew he would have better opportunities there.

When I returned for my second year, he wasn’t there, and I felt his absence so deeply. At first, we communicated often, but eventually I decided to let him go because I was already in a relationship with another guy even before starting that school.

While I was yet to complete school, Patrick and I reconnected. Whenever I visited the city, he would pick me up from the bus stop and ensure I got to my destinations safely. We did this every single time I was in the city.

My sister, who lives in that city, often asked if we were dating, but my answer was always the same: “No, we’re just friends.” Honestly, I only ever saw him as one.

Before I finished school, he often surprised me with little gifts, especially when I was on campus.

After both our graduations, which were in the same year, he shared his future plans with me. I always encouraged him to go after everything he dreamed of. He would tell me, “No one believes me like you do, Hannah. Thank you!”

Over time, he became an entrepreneur, and now he’s planning to move abroad at the end of next year. In the meantime, he has earned enough to buy a piece of land. He celebrated this achievement with me. I am happy when he includes me in the things that matter to him. I see it as a mark of true friendship.

That’s why his proposal caught me completely off guard. It happened last month but I am still in shock. All along, I thought we were on the same page as friends. Not knowing, he was courting me. He told me that after moving to the city, he realised his true feelings for me.

“You’ve always been part of my future.”

He said. “That’s why I tell you everything I do. Now, I am ready to marry you in a few months’ time. All you have to do is say yes to me.” I’ve always been part of his plans, and now he’s ready for marriage in a few months.”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

Although I’m beginning to fall for him, I’m confused about what to say because after marriage, he’ll leave me for almost a year before I can join him abroad. He also said we’ll be staying at his brother’s house (just the two of us).
\n

These concerns aside, I am worried about the age difference. I’m 20, while he’s 25. I know it’s just five years difference but it makes me think he is in a different place in life than I am. I don’t want to make a decision I will regret when I get older.

—Hannah

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", "keywords": ", Thought, Were, Just, Friends, Until, Proposed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9568.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-thought-we-were-just-friends-until-he-proposed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 04:57:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "91225", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Found Healing With A Wonderful Man", "title_slug": "i-found-healing-with-a-wonderful-man", "title_hash": "311b4a29eede431c9ac326385a512d8b", "summary": "I am married to a man who feels like the best thing that has ever happened to me. It didn’t happen so easily. I was carrying trauma from my past …", "content": "

I am married to a man who feels like the best thing that has ever happened to me. It didn’t happen so easily. I was carrying trauma from my past when we met. He had to be patient for me to get to a place where I felt safe with him.

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I had never felt safe around any man since I was eight years old and my half-brother abused me. It happened twice. At first, I was afraid to speak about it. I was sure no one would believe me.

Truly, when I finally found the courage to speak up, my dad called me a liar. It was only my mother who believed me. The fact that my own father acted as if I made up a horrible experience just to get attention made me lose faith in men.

I went through life guarded and ready to fight off any man who came near me. When I got to an age where my friends were dating, I was often left out. I didn’t know how to relax around guys. Falling in love was out of the question. Even the thought of having intimacy, was a complete turn off. I hated sex.

All of that changed when I met Joey. There was something about him that made me believe I could trust him. I fell in love for the first time. I told myself that if we got married, I would surrender all of myself to him. Easier said than done.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

On our wedding night, I couldn’t let him touch me. I was too scared, but he was patient. He didn’t rush me. I had already opened up to him about my past, and to this day, I don’t regret doing that.

He gave me time to heal. He walked me through forgiving my past and letting go of my pain. This is how I knew he is my safe space. It’s been eight years since we got married. He showers me with so much love that I am constantly glowing. He has taught me that not all men will hurt me. Marrying him is my best decision ever!

—Stefanie

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#SB

", "keywords": ", Found, Healing, With, Wonderful, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/img_9579-scaled.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-found-healing-with-a-wonderful-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-10-01 04:57:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "90785", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Was 15 When My Dad Gave Me to His Friend to Marry", "title_slug": "i-was-15-when-my-dad-gave-me-to-his-friend-to-marry", "title_hash": "4e333f7a3a45e4323352cc226bb3cb52", "summary": "I heard the rumors among my parents when I was writing the BECE. Mom asked my dad, “Has he agreed that Akosua should come to him?” My dad nodded his …", "content": "

I heard the rumors among my parents when I was writing the BECE. Mom asked my dad, “Has he agreed that Akosua should come to him?” My dad nodded his head and said I would leave the house the very day I finished the exams. My brother knew about it, so he asked if he would be going with me. I told him I didn’t know where I was going or who I was going with.

We never traveled. All our lives, we stayed in the confines of Asin Fosu. We could visit an aunt or an uncle who also lived in town, and that was it.

When the time came, I asked my dad where I was going. He answered, “You’ll know when we get there. He’s a very kind man. You’ll be able to continue your education when you stay with him.” I asked, “So I’m not coming back again?” He told me I could come only for a visit because where I was going was my new home.

We traveled at dawn but got there very late in the afternoon. I was reading the road signs, trying to figure out where we were and where we were going. I slept in between. By the time I woke up, we had arrived. I scanned around, looking for a signpost that would tell me where we were. I saw Aflao. I asked my dad, “Are we in Aflao?” He didn’t answer.

When we got to the man’s house, I recognized him immediately. He was my dad’s friend who came around once in a while. I smiled and he hugged me. The two of them went in and left me outside. I could see them but not what they were saying. Dad slept over, but when I woke up in the morning, he was gone.

His name is George. I wondered why he was living alone and what role I had to play in his house. All the people around spoke Ewe, which I couldn’t speak, so it was hard to talk or have a friend.

A week or so later, this man tried to sleep with me. He was doing his best to talk me into accepting to sleep with him. I said no. No matter what he said, I told him I was too young to do that and my dad wouldn’t be pleased. He said, “Your dad brought you to me to marry you. He knows this was going to happen; that’s why he brought you here.”

My heart started racing. He was very gentle with me that night. He didn’t force it through, but days later when I continued saying no, he took it by force and I broke down. For days, I stayed in bed while he brought me drugs and food. I didn’t want to get up for him to do it with me again. I wanted him to believe the next time would kill me so he would leave me alone, but a week or so later, it happened again.

I needed to talk to someone, but who? They spoke French and Ewe. I regretted I hadn’t taken my French lessons seriously.

There was this woman who had a child my age. We could only exchange looks but not say a word to each other. I started drawing close to the woman and then her daughter. Her daughter could speak a little English. I couldn’t speak proper English anyway, so we added hand gestures to make our conversation full.

George was a teacher. He warned me not to be free or talk to anyone, but when he was away, I went to the woman. When her daughter returned from school, I played and did hand gestures with her. By that time, I was getting used to George sleeping with me. It was no longer physically painful but emotionally troubling and painful as well. I knew the man was lying about the marriage because that wasn’t what my dad told me. I needed to talk to someone who could hear me.

When George realized I was getting free with the woman, he started locking me in the house anytime he was going to school. I said I was lonely. He said he would provide whatever I needed and I didn’t need anyone. Apart from sleeping with me, he treated me very well. He cooked for us. He did chores with me. He bought me new dresses I had nowhere to wear them to.

A year went by slowly. My results had come, but I didn’t even know how I did. I asked if he had heard from my dad and when I was going to school. He told me he wanted me to go to school in Togo and their academic calendar wasn’t right for me to go. I cried myself to sleep every night. I missed my brother. I missed my friends. I got homesick.

One Saturday morning, he sent me to buy something from the street. I met the woman and her daughter. We talked for a while and the girl pointed at another lady she said was her big sister. She was Lucy. She asked me in impeccable English if I could speak Twi. I started speaking it and she joined me. She lived in Ghana and had come to visit. I knew my savior had arrived.

If I didn’t go back early, George would come looking for me, so I told her I would see her again and went back home. I would later go for a walk and try to see her, but she wouldn’t come around. She had gone to Togo to buy clothes. The whole week I sneaked in to see her, but she wasn’t around. I gave up until I accidentally bumped into her on the street.

I poured my heart out to her. She narrated it in Ewe to her mom, and her mom was shocked. I told her I wanted to run with her when she was going back. She lived in Accra, but I told her I didn’t mind. “Once I get to Accra, I can find my way home.” The woman asked if she should report to the police. And I said, “Naaa, I just want to go home.”

On Monday, when George was in school and I was locked in, Lucy came around. She helped me through a window and then threw my little bag over the wall and climbed out. That was my final day in Aflao. I smelled freedom and it made me drowsy, so I slept. Lucy had her hand on me throughout the journey.

While in Accra, I couldn’t wait to go home to tell my dad everything that happened to me, but Lucy asked me, “What if indeed it was your dad’s plan to give you out in marriage? Don’t you think he would take you back to Aflao?” I convinced her it wasn’t the case. She gave me her telephone number and bought a phone card for me and said, “Call me when you get home and things get worse.”

It got worse indeed. My dad beat me like I was a thief he caught at night. “Why did you run away? You’ve grown huge wings to be able to do that? This place is no longer your home. I will take you back.”

When the storm calmed, I asked my mom, “Do you hate me this much to sell me to a man? Do you know what I went through?”

We were poor. Very poor, but we could eat. My dad was a Christian who looked up to God for grace. I wondered how he could do that to me. But my mom told me, “You won’t go again. I’ll talk to your dad.”

It turned into a huge physical fight between them. “She would go.” “She won’t go anywhere.” My dad would slap me at will wherever he met me. My mom gave me money and said, “You’ll go to your aunt in Mankessim tomorrow morning. Run away before your dad gets money to take you back.”

I went to my aunt—a no-nonsense woman who already knew my story. She told me, “If your dad tries it again, I will give him to the police.”

There was a calm that lasted for a few months. One day, my mom came to Mankessim with my brother and her life belongings. She said she had left my father. They were divorced because of me. My aunt supported her, asking her why she had stayed so long in the marriage. Later, my mom got her own place and we moved in with her. I started going to school. I was two years late, but it didn’t bother me.

I called Lucy when I was in Mankessim. I told her everything. She asked me, “How old are you?” “Seventeen,” I answered. “And you’ve gone through all that? You look like thirty.”

Lucy became my elder sister. I went to her on vacations. She gave me money and bought provisions for me. She even helped pay my fees at some point. She was still a sister to me while I was in nursing school. She taught me how to make money through selling. I completed nursing school but didn’t become a nurse because of her. She made me chase money so I could help at home.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

My dad is still alive but doesn’t talk to any of us. I don’t think I’ve woken up one day to think about him or consider building bridges. In my mind, I don’t have a father, and he also doesn’t have a daughter. He killed my childhood, and it took the benevolence of a stranger to bring me back to life, so why would I go to the same man who did that to me? Even his funeral, I won’t attend.
\n#MyChildhoodTrauma

—A. Frimpomaa

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******

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I’ve fallen in love with a man whose physical appearance is quite different from what society might consider normal. In my eyes, he is perfection but others look at him as if there is something wrong with him.

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His body shape is unique, almost making him look like he is deformed. He is not deformed or sick. He is a very healthy man with a good heart and a charming personality. I am glad I got to know him beyond his looks.

Being with him makes me happy. That’s all that matters to me. What kind of woman doesn’t want a man who is caring, loving, kind and intelligent? That’s what has me falling head over heels in love with Jeremy.

We’ve talked about the future. He says I am the woman he wants to marry. I can’t imagine myself as happy with anyone else as I am with him. The only thing standing in our way of living our happily ever after is my mother.

She is refusing to look past his physical appearance. I have given her many opportunities to get to know Jeremy as well as I do but her mind is already made up. She doesn’t want him for him and that’s it.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

These days things have escalated. She is putting pressure on me to leave him. When I refuse, she tells me, “You will lose me as your mother if you choose to stay with him. I am not kidding, it’s either me or him.”

It hurts because I wish she could see him the way I do—the real him, the love we share, and why I’m drawn to him. Because I have no intention of leaving him just to appease her superficial feelings. For all our sakes, I hope she eventually accepts him for who he is.

—Kermie

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#SB

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That day was unlike any day I’ve ever had — deeply disturbing and difficult to process. I went to a bar to eat fufu. I brought my food and was looking for a place to sit when I noticed a young man already seated at a table. I thought of joining him but instead decided to sit just behind him.

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I quietly ate my food and then chose to rest for about 20 minutes before heading home, just to let the food settle. As I sat there, I noticed something strange.

The guy in front of me started jerking violently. At first, I thought it was a seizure — maybe epilepsy. Without a second thought, I hurried toward him with the intention to help him. Before I could reach him, the waitress grabbed my arm and pulled me back, “Don’t touch him. He can infect you with it.”

That shocked me. But what hit me the most was that no one around went to his aid. People just sat there like nothing was happening. I looked around, hoping someone would step in, but no one even flinched. I felt so helpless. I tried calling out to a few men nearby, asking them to help. They ignored me completely. It was like the young man on the floor didn’t even exist to them.

I wanted so badly to help but didn’t know how. And the fear of doing something wrong or making things worse made me freeze. He just lay there, motionless, helpless but I couldn’t do a thing.

Eventually, I couldn’t stand to see him suffer like that anymore. The sight was too disheartening. It made me weak physically and emotionally. I went home.

I haven’t been able to shake it off. I feel so unsettled thinking about that young man. I’m wondering if he got help after I left.

The day it happened I called my mom and told her everything. She listened, then told me something that hit hard: “Cry your own cry.” She asked me not to judge the people who seemed unconcerned. “Just a you have your reasons for not doing anything, they may have theirs too.”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

It doesn’t make me feel any better. I feel like I have failed him. What if I had known first aid for epilepsy? Couldn’t I have done something?

I wish I could go back and make a difference. Sadly, I can’t.

My heart is heavy. I don’t want to forget this. Maybe it’s a sign that I need to be better prepared in the future.

—Slim

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#SB

", "keywords": ", Never, Want, Feel, Helpless, Felt, That, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "58", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9554.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-never-want-to-feel-as-helpless-as-i-felt-that-day/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-30 10:38:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "90783", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’ve Been With Him 4 Years But He Won’t Talk About Our Future", "title_slug": "ive-been-with-him-4-years-but-he-wont-talk-about-our-future", "title_hash": "88f2ad10aafce34890ec183a68071fe8", "summary": "I have been in a relationship with Adam for 4 years now, and I have shown him nothing but pure love. During the early stages of our relationship, he would …", "content": "

I have been in a relationship with Adam for 4 years now, and I have shown him nothing but pure love. During the early stages of our relationship, he would call to break up with me without any good reason. Sometimes he would say he fell out of love, and I would be the one begging him to stay.

It was like a game to him: today he wants a girlfriend, tomorrow he doesn’t. He would ignore me and disappear for 2 months, sometimes 6 months, then come back like nothing happened.

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And because I loved him so much, I didn’t care that he was not consistent with me. I would just take him back every single time without question.

During his National Service, I took very good care of him without complaining, and when you love someone, you take care of them completely. I like to spend on my man because that’s my love language. I cannot even think of cheating on him, no matter what. Even if someone comes to me with stacks of money, I cannot hurt him intentionally because that is not what love does.

During his NSS, he made so many promises to me. He said when he goes back to his grandmother’s house, he will invite me over because his grandma has heard of me and loves me already.

He promised he would visit me every Friday when he left and that he would be with me no matter the distance between us. All sweet words that made my heart happy.

But I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and the reality is different. This is someone who never compliments me when I randomly send him my pictures. I would expect a simple “you look sweet” or “that’s my baby.” Nothing fancy, just something to show he sees me. But no, nothing of that sort from him, yet he fully compliments other women without fail. When I am unwell, all he does is check up on me the first day, and the rest of the time I am on my own with no care or follow-up from him.

So one day, I gathered courage and asked him this simple question: “Do you actually like me, or are you with me because I have helped you before and leaving me would be mean of you? Do you see a future with me?”

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

This guy flared up in anger and said, “Can I help him? When I met him, was he sleeping outside?” He said so many hurtful things that broke my heart completely. As if asking where I stand after 4 years was a crime.

Am I the bad person here? Am I a bad girlfriend for asking that question? Did I cross the line by wanting to know where I stand after 4 years of giving my all? What do you think? Was I wrong for asking if he really loves me after all this time together? Should I have just kept quiet about my feelings and continued pretending everything was fine?

—Eunice

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#SB<>

", "keywords": "I’ve, Been, With, Him, Years, But, Won’t, Talk, About, Our, Future", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/329740.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/ive-been-with-him-4-years-but-he-wont-talk-about-our-future/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-30 10:38:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "90553", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Trump Paywalled Our Colleges—Opinion", "title_slug": "how-trump-paywalled-our-collegesopinion", "title_hash": "2237716e2e7344e09eb4481c3ca6eaf5", "summary": "Slashing key financial aid funding will make college a luxury once again reserved for those who can pay.\nThe post How Trump Paywalled Our Colleges—Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

I finished my master’s degree in public diplomacy this August, wrapping up my educational journey. My undergraduate and graduate degrees have been the result of years of hard work and perseverance, marked by countless late nights finishing homework and early work days.

I paid for it all with a mix of part-time work and government support. Without statewide grants, subsidized and unsubsidized loans, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), and paid internships, I wouldn’t have had a shot at living away from home to pursue my education—let alone live the college experience.

I’m not alone: 76 percent of graduate students work at least 30 hours per week, and 40 percent of full-time undergraduate students work while in school. According to the think tank Urban Institute, 30-to-40 percent of undergraduate students take out federal loans. Plus, as of 2020, nearly 600,000 college students relied on SNAP to afford food.

That’s why, when President Donald Trump signed H.R.1, or the “One Big Beautiful Bill” Act, on July 4, it felt like the White House was slamming the door behind me, cutting off vital pathways for lower-income students to achieve higher education.

The sweeping new law stripped billions of dollars from food, health, and education programs that are vital for students nationwide, all while granting tax cuts to the ultra-wealthy Notably, it cuts federal student aid programs like the Grad PLUS loan and caps Parent PLUS loans starting in 2026. Both loan programs have historically helped students from marginalized and underserved communities get an education.

For many students, these cuts will create real barriers to staying in school and affording basic needs—from books to breakfast. The BBB sends a clear message: Higher education is no longer a right in America, but instead a private luxury available only to those who can afford it.

Slashing student loans

“The way I’ve been thinking about [the bill’s impact] is in two different ways: One is the tangible, physical cost to students,” said Dr. Zoë Corwin, a research professor at the University of Southern California’s Rossier School of Education. “The physical ramifications of the bill, and not having enough financial aid, means that’s just a huge barrier to students from low-income backgrounds. There’s also the symbolic violence that’s happening right now, too; students are getting messages like they maybe don’t belong in higher ed.”

The BBB codifies this exclusion into policy and practice.

Beginning in 2026, the law will limit Parent PLUS loans to $20,000 per year and $65,000 total cap per dependent student. This represents a significant drop from the current policy, which allows parents to borrow up to the full cost of attendance not covered by the student’s financial aid, with no cumulative limit. This new cap on Parent PLUS loan amounts could lead many low- and middle-income families to seek alternative funding sources, such as private loans, to cover the gap.

The change will likely affect students of color most acutely.

From 1996 to 2018, there was a substantial increase in the number of Black, Latinx, and Asian students whose parents’ made less than $30,000 a year using Parent PLUS loans, according to Georgetown Center on Poverty and Inequality. The Parent PLUS loan program has been a vital resource for low-income parents and parents of color, allowing parents of current undergraduate students to receive a federal loan to help cover the costs of their students’ college or university education.

Congress initially designed the program to help wealthier families afford their children’s college costs. But it has since become a key resource in ensuring that lower-income and middle-class families can “cover the gap between the amount the student can obtain in Pell Grants”—federal grants for low-income students—“and federal student loans and the cost of attendance,” according to the National Consumer Law Center.

“The limits that the Big Beautiful Bill places on loan borrowing disproportionately affect students who come from low-income households and first-generation college students, a large portion of which are first-generation Americans as well,” Carolina Alvarado, Vanderbilt University student and president of the school’s Association of Latin American Students, told student newspaper the Vanderbilt Hustler.

According to data from the U.S. Department of Education, about 3.5 million people currently hold Parent PLUS loans. The loans make up about 6.7 percent of student loan debt, according to a recent data analysis by the Education Data Initiative. With rising tuition and expenses, coupled with state funding failing to keep pace, the Parent PLUS loan program has led to growing intergenerational debt as low-and middle-income parents take on substantial loans to support their children’s education.

“These families are going to have to figure out additional ways to subsidize a post-secondary education, [which] likely means going to the private market to do that, and private loans are less forgiving,” said Emmanual Guillory, senior director of government relations at the American Council on Education, an organization focused on higher education advocacy and public policy.

Trump’s new law will also eliminate the Grad PLUS loan program, capping graduate student borrowing at $20,500 per year with a lifetime limit of $100,000 (students in certain programs, like medical and law school, can borrow up to $50,000 per year for a maximum of $200,000, according to the Urban Institute). Previously, students could borrow up to the cost of attendance for a graduate or professional program, after potential financial assistance, per the financial tech company Credible. For many middle-class students pursuing master’s and doctoral degrees—including myself—these loans are more than just financial aid; they are a lifeline.

By scaling back federal loan borrowing limits, the Trump spending bill opens the door for private lenders—including banks and credit unions—to enter the education market at full force. These loans are often more expensive than federal student loans, as interest rates are higher and may not be fixed. For example, the current federal interest rate for Parent PLUS and Grad PLUS loans is 8.94 percent, while private parent loans can have interest rates ranging from 3.19 percent to 25.96 percent and graduate loans have rates between 2.89 percent and 15.71 percent, according to recent estimates.

Private lenders typically have stricter repayment terms as well, with loan payments potentially beginning while the student is still in school. Unlike government student loans, private loans do not offer loan forgiveness and often require a standing credit history to qualify.

Guillory also mentioned that members of Congress who supported the “big, beautiful bill” claimed that the goal of these provisions was to pressure colleges and universities to lower costs by reducing access to student aid. But history shows that, time and time again, higher education institutions have prioritized revenue over affordability.

“[P]erhaps an unintended outcome would be a decrease in access due to a decrease in federal student aid that our low-income, low-wealth families so desperately need,” said Guillory, of the American Council on Education.

Gutting SNAP access

The BBB won’t affect only student budgets—it may also affect their diets.

According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, the new federal budget bill contains “the largest cut to SNAP in history,” with estimates forecasting a $186 billion cut to federal food assistance through 2034.

The U.S. Government Accountability Office found that in 2020, an estimated 23 percent of college students were food-insecure, meaning they didn’t have adequate access to food. At community colleges, this strain is perhaps most acute. Nearly 30 percent of community college students face food insecurity. Student who are parents, low-income students, and students of color were found to be especially vulnerable.

Housing and food account for just over half of community college students’ budgets, per the Center for American Progress, so the budget reconciliation bill’s cuts to SNAP, combined with low program awareness and new, tighter eligibility requirements, will place more barriers for students to receive the help they need.

“ Without [SNAP] I would’ve had to make major changes, if not just drop out of college entirely,” a graduating college student in Oregon told National Public Radio on June 16, 2025.

Additionally, Guillory said, states trying to make their budgets work despite cuts to Medicaid funding may be forced to cut SNAP benefits funding further or opt out of the federal food program entirely.

That “could likely mean less appropriations for institutions of higher education,” Guillory said.

In California, these cuts to SNAP will leave the state and its counties responsible for covering $1.35 billion to $4 billion annually in state and local expenses to fill the loss of federal funds, according to California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s office. The shift of costs places an additional strain on public services and social programs funding in state budgets, which could result in states choosing to cut some education funding, leaving colleges to face limited budgets and barriers to student access.

To prepare for these changes, community colleges in the state have begun mobilizing. In August, the Chancellor’s Office of California Community Colleges, the leadership and oversight body for California’s 110 community colleges, said in a memo that it expects campuses to ensure that their basic needs programs remain accessible to all students.

“The Chancellor’s Office is actively and regularly in conversations with our colleges and our state and federal partners. We recently recommended that colleges prepare to address questions from students and families about changes to financial aid, and adjustments to eligibility criteria for Medicare and SNAP. We’ve asked campuses to ensure basic needs programs remain accessible to those who need assistance,” said the office’s spokesperson.

A silver lining in the reconciliation bill and community colleges is the addition of the Workforce Pell grant, which allows students in short-term programs to be eligible for federal Pell grants. Since eligibility hinges on students enrolling in “high-skill, high-wage” or “in-demand industry sectors or occupations” programs leading to a postsecondary credential, the program’s establishment will help expand access to short-term job training for low-income students.

“We’ve been pushing universities to think about, ‘Alright, what additional support my students from low-income backgrounds need,’” said Corwin, of the University of Southern California.

“We are literally seeing all these things that we’ve worked on for decades being curtailed by the federal government and by this bill,” Corwin continued. “So I would say right now, the field is trying to figure out how to work within the constraints of the federal government, while still trying to provide students with the most robust and best support possible.”

The post How Trump Paywalled Our Colleges—Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "How, Trump, Paywalled, Our, Colleges—Opinion", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/How-Trump-Paywalled-Our-Colleges-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/09/30/trump-college-university-loans-snap/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-30 10:27:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "90136", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Text Girls to Get SEX (For Girls You Haven't Banged & Have)", "title_slug": "what-to-text-girls-to-get-sex-for-girls-you-havent-banged-have", "title_hash": "46e05886f4fc54431e1cb0117869a989", "summary": "She’s in your phone & you’d like to text her for sex. If you don’t want it to backfire, follow my 7 Text Sex-Getting Principles – and use THESE texts.\n\n1. Texting for Sex vs. Dates\n2. Text Sex-Getting Principles\n3. What to NEVER Text Her\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"what$ She’s in your phone & you’d like to text her for sex. If you don’t want it to backfire, follow my 7 Text Sex-Getting Principles – and use THESE texts.

1. Texting for Sex vs. Dates

2. Text Sex-Getting Principles

3. What to NEVER Text Her

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "What, Text, Girls, Get, SEX, For, Girls, You, Havent, Banged, Have", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/what-to-text-girls-for-sex-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/what-text-girls-get-sex-girls-you-havent-banged-have", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-30 09:43:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "90135", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Fall Fragrances for Men", "title_slug": "best-fall-fragrances-for-men", "title_hash": "b6ce51600986272902724d38d4b3b33a", "summary": "The start of a new season is always a great time to refresh your fragrance wardrobe and introduce some new scents to the rotation. \r\nWe know there are people that like having a signature scent, but life is much more interesting when you switch things up. The sense of smell is so deeply connected to our memories, that switching fragrances could allow you to hold onto newly made memories for much longer. Not only that, but we highly recommend complementing the cooler temperatures with warmer scents.\r\nRELATED: Sexy Scents for Men\r\nSelecting scents that best match autumn can give you an unexpected and welcome boost of confidence. This season could have you wanting to smell earthy, sweet, spicy, floral, or all of the above. Whatever you wish to smell like in the fall, you can’t go wrong with one or more of these in your fragrance rotation.\r\nBelow, you'll find some of the best fall fragrances to wear.\r\n1. Autumn Vibes by Maison Margiela\r\n\r\nWe would be hard-pressed to name another fragrance l", "content": "The start of a new season is always a great time to refresh your fragrance wardrobe and introduce some new scents to the rotation. \r\nWe know there are people that like having a signature scent, but life is much more interesting when you switch things up. The sense of smell is so deeply connected to our memories, that switching fragrances could allow you to hold onto newly made memories for much longer. Not only that, but we highly recommend complementing the cooler temperatures with warmer scents.\r\nRELATED: Sexy Scents for Men\r\nSelecting scents that best match autumn can give you an unexpected and welcome boost of confidence. This season could have you wanting to smell earthy, sweet, spicy, floral, or all of the above. Whatever you wish to smell like in the fall, you can’t go wrong with one or more of these in your fragrance rotation.\r\nBelow, you'll find some of the best fall fragrances to wear.\r\n1. Autumn Vibes by Maison Margiela\r\n\r\nWe would be hard-pressed to name another fragrance line that better captures an experience like Maison Margiela’s REPLICA collection. From Jazz Club to Beach Walk, the fragrances so closely replicate those experiences that you’ll feel transported to them. That’s why if you want to smell like this season nothing even comes close to Autumn Vibes.\r\nImagine walking into the woods full of golden, orange, yellow and brown leaves. It rained earlier in the day so the leaves are wet and their scent along with the woods are emanating throughout. This is autumn. When we want to feel like we’re truly experiencing the fall season, we wear this. \r\n$89 at Amazon.com\r\n2. A Gloaming Night by Gucci\r\n\r\nIf you have yet to dip your toes into floral fragrances, dive into the deep end of the pool with Alchemist’s Garden collection from Gucci. A Gloaming Night is a stroll through the flower shop, with numerous bouquets of fully blossomed flowers. While flowers typically make people think of spring, these aren’t fresh flowers, but rather create a coarse powdery sensation built with depth. \r\n$415 at Gucci.com\r\n3. Sauvage Elixir by Dior\r\n\r\nThe newest fragrance from the best-selling Sauvage line goes in a completely different direction than its predecessors. While the previous versions were summer mainstays, Elixir is made for the fall.\r\nSauvage Elixir opens with a very subtle hint of green citrus that draws reminders of the originals, before quickly fading and making way for a provocative blend of cinnamon, nutmeg and lavender. If you’re a fan of spicy fragrances, the spice is amped way up here. It’s a completely different fragrance experience than the previous releases and makes way for the Sauvage line to offer dominant scents all year around.\r\n$199 at Macys.com\r\n4. Alchemy: Somnium by Black Dahlia\r\n\r\nBlack Dahlia is a brand that focuses on scientific innovation and hemp infusion. They’ve created their first two fragrances — both CBD infused — with Somnium being a sweet seductive scent that can really come into play just in time for cuffing season.\r\nOpening with a plant-like accord, it quickly dries down into a thick sandalwood and vanilla base that is both welcoming and mysterious. While Somnium is our favorite from their two debut fragrances, we think the real magic happens when you layer it with their other release Excitant. Spray Excitant on first, followed by Somnium to create an energetic sensuality.\r\n$125 at BlackDahlia.com\r\n5. A Whiff of Waffle Cone by Imaginary Authors\r\n\r\nThe award winning perfume house Imaginary Authors has teamed up with Portland ice cream shop Salt & Straw to create a fragrance inspired by the scent you smell when you walk into their shop. Of all the fragrances on this list, this is the one that will most likely get you to keep sniffing your wrist.\r\nThe first spray is an instant blast of sweet vanilla ice cream on top of a fresh waffle cone. The scent stays that way for hours on end, until finally it dries down and the vanilla ice cream scent has melted away to smell mostly like a waffle cone with melted vanilla soaked in. It’s as delicious as it sounds. \r\n$115 at ImaginaryAuthors.com\r\n6. Fortuitous Finley by Penhaligon’s\r\n\r\n\r\nCombining notes of spice and rich leather, with more subtle hints of cardamom and pistachio, the \"Fortuitous Finley\" is Penhaligon's latest triumph, delivering a rich and long-lasting scent that gains in depth the longer you spend smelling it. The warm leather base is a perfect companion to fall, when shorter, colder days demand the comfort of a richer, deeper fragrance.\r\n\r\n$345 at Bloomingdales.com\r\n7. Echelon by Kimberly New York\r\n\r\nStarting off fresh and spicy with a peppery orange zest accord. Soon after, musk presents itself along with notes of grainy raw leather to add a classically masculine texture, before the real turning point arrives in the form of mahogany. This development really drives home the woody nature of the scent exuding confidence and class.\r\n$95 at KimberlyNewYork.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tGrooming Awards 2025: The Best Body Care Products\r\n\tHow to Make Your Junk Smell Good\r\n\tBest Solid Colognes for Men", "keywords": "Best, Fall, Fragrances, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/fall-scents/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1759156502.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/fall-scents.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-30 09:43:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "90075", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Had A One-Night Stand And Ended Up With A Child", "title_slug": "he-had-a-one-night-stand-and-ended-up-with-a-child", "title_hash": "945f6751d2e6dd00da7e78c283b05f36", "summary": "I’m currently seeing Matt, a guy who has a child. He says he has never been married. One day he had a one-night stand with a lady. A few weeks …", "content": "

I’m currently seeing Matt, a guy who has a child. He says he has never been married. One day he had a one-night stand with a lady. A few weeks later, she showed up that she was pregnant. It was only a few minutes of pleasure but it ended up binding them together.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

When I asked if there was a possibility that he would marry the lady, he said his family wouldn’t have it. The child is currently two years old. “What I want now is a woman I can share my life with. I am ready to go all in, commitment and all.”

He seems good on paper but I have reservations because of his child. So while I was in the talking stage with him I was talking to another Jones. Jones was actually in the picture before I met Matt. The only difference was that I never met Jones in person.

We’ve only seen each other’s pictures and had video calls. Every time we talked he would ask, “So when will you invite me over to know where you live? You can also visit me if you prefer that.”

I wanted to meet him but I didn’t want our first meeting to be in either of our homes so I always gave him excuses whenever he asked when we would see each other.

One night Jones wanted to talk to me but I was unavailable. I was busy making dinner when he texted me. I found a chain of messages on my phone when I finished. The last one was in anger because his earlier messages didn’t get a response.

“You think I’m craving for attention? Fine!” That’s what he said. What did he mean by that? Was I supposed to hold my phone in my hand 24/7 for his sake? I decided to give him a piece of my mind.

“Are you expecting me to be online whenever you want even if it doesn’t favour me? What kind of entitlement is that?”

He read my message but he didn’t. I also decided to leave him alone. I felt he would have been a less complicated choice but I was taking things slow considering we hadn’t met in person yet. Sometimes online connections can be great but when you finally spend physical time together, you will realise that the connection is not there. That’s why I was taking my time with him but it didn’t work out. So now the only man in my life is Matt.

I am not in love with him yet but I like him. I love the consistency I am seeing so far. Unlike in my previous experiences, I don’t have to beg him for communication. He is not stingy with information. He tells me where he is and what he is doing at all times. He also talks about important issues going on in his life. I like that about him.

So far things are flowing effortlessly. I know that if we keep at it, I will eventually fall in love with him.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

The only reason I am holding back right now is that he has a child. He has told me his side of the story. It sounds reasonable as to why he didn’t marry the lady. But what if there is more to it than I have been told? The last thing I want is to get entangled in a baby mama drama all because of love.

I just want to know what I can do to be sure his baby mama won’t be a problem. He seems like a good guy and I want to give him a chance. I hope I won’t be making a mistake if I do.

—Sima

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Had, One-Night, Stand, And, Ended, With, Child", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9523.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-had-a-one-night-stand-and-ended-up-with-a-child/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 13:42:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89518", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Talk Gambits: Seducing Men vs. Seducing Women", "title_slug": "sex-talk-gambits-seducing-men-vs-seducing-women", "title_hash": "a9e2c10f9b88679ac9c60f0b9c784b3c", "summary": "“Most women don’t know the difference between seducing a man and a woman.” Tell her this to intrigue her, bait her, & suck her right into sex talk.\nHey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"seducing$ “Most women don’t know the difference between seducing a man and a woman.” Tell her this to intrigue her, bait her, & suck her right into sex talk.

Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Talk, Gambits:, Seducing, Men, vs., Seducing, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/gambit-seducing-men-vs-women-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-talk-gambits-seducing-men-vs-seducing-women", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89517", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Signs She Wants More Intimacy Than You Think (But Hides It Well)", "title_slug": "7-signs-she-wants-more-intimacy-than-you-think-but-hides-it-well", "title_hash": "b32c77e128e2c2f5906fb7f4466df68d", "summary": "Here’s the thing, women don’t always say what they want. Not because they don’t feel it, but because…", "content": "Here’s the thing, women don’t always say what they want. Not because they don’t feel it, but because…", "keywords": ", Signs, She, Wants, More, Intimacy, Than, You, Think, But, Hides, Well", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "70", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/hides-3-e1758995043371.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/signs-she-wants-more-intimacy-than-you-think/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89516", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Things Most Women Say to Avoid Intimacy", "title_slug": "12-things-most-women-say-to-avoid-intimacy", "title_hash": "1f7e7330b4bf7b1e4cc0c7b6d12f0546", "summary": "Funny thing is, women don’t always say “no” directly. Sometimes it’s softer, sometimes it’s hidden in little excuses.…", "content": "Funny thing is, women don’t always say “no” directly. Sometimes it’s softer, sometimes it’s hidden in little excuses.…", "keywords": ", Things, Most, Women, Say, Avoid, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/avoidd-e1758997765896.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-things-most-women-say-to-avoid-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89515", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Funny Struggles Couples Face During Intimacy", "title_slug": "12-funny-struggles-couples-face-during-intimacy", "title_hash": "6ff543f5ff9407d3501210fcfeef7db0", "summary": "Movies lie. They make intimacy look flawless, smooth music, perfect timing, no interruptions. Real couples? Not even close.…", "content": "Movies lie. They make intimacy look flawless, smooth music, perfect timing, no interruptions. Real couples? Not even close.…", "keywords": ", Funny, Struggles, Couples, Face, During, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/during-intimacy-3.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/12-funny-struggles-couples-face-during-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89514", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Real Reason Why Many Couples Start Sleeping in Separate Beds After 50", "title_slug": "the-real-reason-why-many-couples-start-sleeping-in-separate-beds-after-50", "title_hash": "cffbf466612e5aed0418067c83a3c111", "summary": "It sounds shocking at first, doesn’t it? A couple together for decades suddenly deciding to sleep in different…", "content": "It sounds shocking at first, doesn’t it? A couple together for decades suddenly deciding to sleep in different…", "keywords": "The, Real, Reason, Why, Many, Couples, Start, Sleeping, Separate, Beds, After", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/after-50.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-real-reason-why-many-couples-start-sleeping-in-separate-beds-after-50/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89513", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Sad Truths About Why Intimacy Dies in Relationships", "title_slug": "10-sad-truths-about-why-intimacy-dies-in-relationships", "title_hash": "22e433ab1fa0facd8dfabc99e1bd1f79", "summary": "Nobody likes this topic. It’s heavy, it’s uncomfortable. But let’s be real, intimacy doesn’t always last. Sometimes it…", "content": "Nobody likes this topic. It’s heavy, it’s uncomfortable. But let’s be real, intimacy doesn’t always last. Sometimes it…", "keywords": ", Sad, Truths, About, Why, Intimacy, Dies, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/intimacy.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-sad-truths-about-why-intimacy-dies-in-relationships/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89512", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Kinky Sex Acts to Spice Up Your Sex Life", "title_slug": "10-kinky-sex-acts-to-spice-up-your-sex-life", "title_hash": "e7345a07d84f6b156e00d16f45d76bcd", "summary": "Adding variety to your sex life is one of the easiest ways to keep things fresh and exciting. \r\nTrying new things in the bedroom with your partner can also be a powerful bonding experience that builds trust and intimacy amidst all the fun. \r\nIf you want to try something new, it's important to make sure you and your partner are on the same page, that boundaries are discussed, and that both parties are on board. \r\nRELATED: 10 Common Sexual Fetishes and Kinks That Turn People On \r\nIf you're interested in trying something new and kinky but are short on ideas, we have you covered. Here are some popular kinks to consider adding to your bedroom repertoire — plus tips for pulling them off. \r\nGet Things Started in Public\r\nNothing builds sexual anticipation quite like starting with some sexy foreplay out where you can't finish the job. \r\nOf course, you don't want to get kicked out of your favorite restaurant or date-night spot. But discreetly touching each other in a low-lit bar, dark concert ha", "content": "Adding variety to your sex life is one of the easiest ways to keep things fresh and exciting. \r\nTrying new things in the bedroom with your partner can also be a powerful bonding experience that builds trust and intimacy amidst all the fun. \r\nIf you want to try something new, it's important to make sure you and your partner are on the same page, that boundaries are discussed, and that both parties are on board. \r\nRELATED: 10 Common Sexual Fetishes and Kinks That Turn People On \r\nIf you're interested in trying something new and kinky but are short on ideas, we have you covered. Here are some popular kinks to consider adding to your bedroom repertoire — plus tips for pulling them off. \r\nGet Things Started in Public\r\nNothing builds sexual anticipation quite like starting with some sexy foreplay out where you can't finish the job. \r\nOf course, you don't want to get kicked out of your favorite restaurant or date-night spot. But discreetly touching each other in a low-lit bar, dark concert hall or even on the car ride home can be incredibly hot. Plus, the pent-up sexual tension makes for more mind-blowing sex once you can finally get down to business behind closed doors. \r\n\r\n\"My girlfriend is the master of foreplay in public. Even innocent things like her guiding both my hands onto her butt in public get me going. She'll press herself up against me, wrap my arms around her, take my hand and put it up her dress. Sometimes it escalates, and we leave right away, some nights she'll do it on and off until I have to beg her to go home.\" — Evan, 27 \r\n\r\nRELATED: The Best Places to Make Out, Revealed\r\nTry Some Light Bondage\r\nBeing restrained heightens sex for both parties. \r\nOn the one hand, the person who has limited movement is at the mercy of how their partner wants to tease and touch them without being able to reciprocate, which makes their pleasure the entire focus of the experience. \r\nOn the other hand, the person doing the restraining has the upper hand and gets to watch as their partner reacts to every move.\r\nRELATED: The Beginner's Guide to Bondage Sex \r\n\r\n\"I had an ex-boyfriend who asked me to do bondage for so long, but it never really appealed to me. When I finally gave in and let him try one night, I realized what all the hype was about. I didn't think I would like not being in control, but I actually loved getting to be lazy and lay there and have it all be about me for once.\" — Jade, 31\r\n\r\nTry a Blindfold\r\nLimiting one of your senses inevitably heightens the others. This can be a powerful trick to use while you're getting intimate. Blindfolding your partner (or being blindfolded yourself) means your sense of touch, taste, smell and hearing will all be sharper than before. \r\n\r\n\"When I was young, I was having sex with a guy who pulled my shirt up around my eyes so I couldn't see while he was taking it off. I was pissed off at first, but he was all like, 'trust me,' so I was like, fine. He used it as a blindfold, told me to keep it on, and then went down on me. It was the best thing ever.\" — Kyle, 24\r\n\r\nTry Flipping Your Roles\r\nWhen you think of role-play, cheesy costumes and bad porn scenarios likely come to mind. But role-playing doesn't necessarily have to mean you pretend to have an occupation. \r\nFlipping up the power dynamic in your relationship in the bedroom is a form of role-playing that's easy to try without getting into character. Whether switching up your normal positions or initiating things differently, variety is the spice of life that goes a long way in the bedroom.\r\nRELATED: How to Be Submissive in Bed\r\n\r\n\"My boyfriend and I met on a dating app, but we always talk about who would've approached who if we had met out at a bar. One night, I was meeting him after work for a drink, and he told me he would try to 'pick me up.' He came in, walked past me, ordered a drink, then made eye contact with me from across the way. He came over and started flirting with me, bought me a drink, and spent the rest of the night trying to take me home. It made everything hot and fun, especially when we got home.\" — Alex, 34\r\nTry Orgasm Denial\r\nOrgasm denial is a tactic used in BDSM relationships. Typically, the dominant partner will pleasure the submissive one to the brink of orgasm, then back away before they can reach it. \r\nNot only does this typically make sex last longer, but it can also lead to a more intense orgasm — this is the principle at work in the edging technique. \r\nThere are a few ways to incorporate orgasm denial into your routine. While having sex with your partner, look for signs they're close to orgasm, then stop what you're doing, back away, and tease them elsewhere. \r\nRELATED: How Orgasm Denial Can Make Sex Even Better\r\nYou can incorporate a timer, where one or both of you aren't allowed to reach orgasm until the stopwatch says so to try and beat the clock. If you're interested in playing with power dynamics, have whoever will be the dominant partner give permission to orgasm, and the submissive partner will have to follow.\r\nTry a Public Quickie\r\nHaving full-on sex in a public place is a fantasy for many people with some degree of an exhibitionist streak. If you can pull it off without getting caught, it's an enthralling experience that's easy to get hooked on. \r\nThat said, it's important to evaluate the potential risks and pick a secluded spot that's just public enough to be exciting, but private enough that you won't end up in jail or some other form of trouble.\r\n\r\n\"I live close to a beach, and my fiance and I love going there in the off-season because we basically have the place to ourselves. One night, we went there to watch the sunset, and while we were sitting in the car, we started kissing, and things escalated. The parking lot was empty, so we did it right there. Now it's become a tradition.\" — Heather, 29\r\n\r\nRELATED: The Best Places to Have a Quickie\r\nTry Humiliation\r\nVery few people like to be humiliated in public. But when it's consensual and done behind closed doors, it can heighten sex for some people. Humiliation can be done verbally or physically between partners — for example, being called derogatory names and being forced to stay on your knees or all fours in front of your partner. \r\nRELATED: What Is Degradation Play? \r\nThis kink requires a high level of trust and lots of conversation before giving it a try, but many people have found humiliation play deepens their relationship. It's a whole new level of vulnerability to tell your partner what things humiliate you and let them use it sexually. \r\nUse a Mirror\r\nOne of the easiest ways to make sex hotter is to get down to business in front of a mirror. \r\nAs far as getting to watch yourselves go at it, mirror sex is safer than making a sex tape, but it feels like you're both starring in your own porno. You can watch your partner's body react to what you're doing and get a view of your shag session from every angle.\r\n\r\n\"Having sex in front of a mirror kind of accidentally became my kink. My boyfriend and I were doing it on my bed, and we both caught a glimpse of each other in my full-length mirror. We locked eyes through the mirror, and I watched him slowly start teasing me, which got me so turned on. Seeing how my body would twitch when he'd lick or kiss certain parts just makes things so much hotter.\" — Sara, 26 \r\n\r\nGrab an Ice Cube\r\nCooling things down can help heat things up. All you'll need for this kink is a piece of ice and some creativity. Run it down your partner's body over nipples, near the inner thigh, behind their neck. \r\nRELATED: Understanding Sensation Play \r\nBonus points if you combine this trick with a blindfold, which can really add the element of surprise and heighten the entire experience from a sensory perspective.\r\nTry Mutual Masturbation\r\nLetting someone watch you masturbate (and vice versa) is intimate and personal. There's something extremely hot about seeing your partner pleasure themselves, and this memory will inevitably be something you end up getting yourself off to when they're not around. \r\nRELATED: What Is Mutual Masturbation? \r\n\r\n\"I tried this kink by accident. My partner got out of the shower and walked into our room with no clothes on. He was hard, so I started slowly undressing myself in front of him, and he started touching himself while I did it. Then, I started doing the same. We ended up both finishing that way, it was so intense.\" — Tyler, 27\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nEvery Classic Way to Spice Sex Up, Ranked69 Sex Things Every Guy Should Try at Least Once\r\nAskMen's Giant Illustrated Guide to Sex Positions", "keywords": ", Kinky, Sex, Acts, Spice, Your, Sex, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/kinky-sex-acts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758895423.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/kinky-sex-acts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89510", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskFemme: My Partner Is Pushy About Sex. Is That OK?", "title_slug": "askfemme-my-partner-is-pushy-about-sex-is-that-ok", "title_hash": "1b6156ac80da52bf1a454f05153b90b7", "summary": "Our Female Bedroom Expert Answers a Question Not a Lot of Guys Feel They Can Ask", "content": "Welcome to AskFemme, our new sex column that’s all about demystifying female desire. My name is Sophie Saint Thomas, and I’m going to be answering all your sex questions — because for all the men who sleep with women, the best advice for getting better in bed is going to come from a woman. I will do my best to be nice, but one thing I won’t be is dishonest. Women still aren’t having enough orgasms, and men still seem super confused about that, so the point of this column is to help bridge that gap with some genuine openness and clarity about the nitty-gritty of sex.\r\nThe Question:\r\nMy girlfriend is really pushy about having sex. I feel like if genders were reversed, this wouldn't be OK. How should I handle this? - Brandon, 38, New York\r\nThe Answer:\r\nYou’re absolutely right. If the genders were reversed, it wouldn’t be OK. And if this feels wrong to you, then it’s not OK, either. \r\nI’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Despite living in a time where we’re asked to think beyond gender, and bodies, cis men aren’t really included in this conversation. It’s because of privilege, of course, and thousands of years of patriarchy, but you’re still a human, and that means that consent applies to you, too. Not just consent. Enthusiastic consent. If you’re being pushed into something, that’s not enthusiastic at all.\r\nFirst things first. You need to communicate with your girlfriend. Talk about this, and do so ASAP. Why is she being so pushy? The simplest answer is that she’s horny. Maybe you two have mismatched libidos. If that’s the case, you have some options. \r\nThe first is that you compromise. Perhaps you agree to have sex more often than you’ve been having, and she agrees to back off a little bit. \r\nIf you genuinely do want to raise your sex drive, as part of your compromise or otherwise, there are ways to make that happen. Eat right, exercise, and go easy on the booze, for starters. Read erotica. Watch porn before she comes over but without jerking off.\r\nYou might also want to do a little soul searching. Has your libido always been lower than hers? Or did anything change? Work stress, or something else? Take care of yourself. If you honor your own emotional needs, the sex drive should follow, whether that’s higher than hers, equal to hers, or lower to hers, but higher than it is currently. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Consent With a Partner (With Examples)\r\nSo long as it’s not something’s happening for physical or mental health reasons you haven’t addressed, all sex drives are good sex drives. \r\nBut also, if it’s a compromise, that means that she has to change, too. Boundaries are real; boundaries are important; and you’re going to have to start using them, as uncomfortable as it may be. She’s not allowed to push you into something you don’t want, and if she won’t stop, then you’re going to have to think about walking away. \r\nIf she’s truly too horny to function, and you’re just not there, you can get her a sex toy or two, and tell her to chill. Or, the extreme option — open up the relationship. \r\nHowever, it might not just be down to horniness. Another reason your girlfriend might be being pushy about sex is that she sees physical intimacy differently than you do. Maybe she sees it as a necessary part of a healthy romantic relationship and feels rejected, devalued or worthless if you’re not sleeping together. \r\nBeing insanely horny is one thing, but if she’s pushing your boundaries about it, she might be operating from a place of insecurity and trying to follow a script, rather than reacting to the actual situation in front of her. \r\nRELATED: Lies Pop Culture Taught Us About Love & Romance\r\nIf that’s the case, you’ll want to have serious conversations with her about your needs and boundaries, and try to help her understand that a lack of sex (or less of it than she expects) isn’t a sign that you don’t love her or aren’t attracted to her. \r\nIt might not sound fun, but couples therapy with a sex therapist could be a good option for helping the two of you navigate this potentially scary conversation (which should really be a series of conversations). \r\nWhich leads me to the inevitable. Regardless of the reason, if sex occupies a significantly different place in each of your lives, there’s a chance that this relationship isn’t right for either of you. \r\nYou can make a mismatched libido work, of course. Couples do it everyday. Especially since libidos shift and change over time. Major life events, like having kids, for instance, can dramatically change one’s sex drive, and the honorable thing to do is adjust, and make it work. \r\nBut if she’s missing it badly enough to start acting “pushy” about it, your sex drives (and sexual expectations) might be different enough to warrant moving on. \r\nRELATED: Things You Should Try Before Breaking Up Over the Sex\r\nAs you said, if the genders were reversed, this would look bad, and that’s not because men are evil, it’s because we have a clearer cultural script for a man pushing past his female partner’s physical boundaries than the reverse. \r\nBut ignoring your partner’s wants and needs is pretty shitty, and if it’s not something that you can talk through with her, then, well, you can definitely do better. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThe Meaning of Consent and The Different Types That Exist How We Teach Consent to Young Boys How to Know If Your Consent Has Been Violated", "keywords": "AskFemme:, Partner, Pushy, About, Sex., That, OK", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/askfemme-my-partner-is-pushy-about-sex-is-that-ok/askmen-lead-image-2x1-44-1758920049.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/askfemme-my-partner-is-pushy-about-sex-is-that-ok.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89511", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is It OK to Use ChatGPT When Arguing With a Partner?", "title_slug": "is-it-ok-to-use-chatgpt-when-arguing-with-a-partner", "title_hash": "9cc65acf481ebbea37a20d2b32dd85ba", "summary": "Is It Ever Ethical to Use AI to Help You Navigate an Argument in Your Relationship?", "content": "Disagreements are part of a healthy relationship, but how you handle disagreements and arguments can be the difference between strengthening your relationship and growing as a couple or uncovering deeper issues and potentially driving a bigger wedge between you.\r\nFighting right means understanding each other’s perspectives and giving each other the space to express themselves—and that can sometimes be easier said than done.\r\nRELATED: Can A.I. Really Be Good for Your Dating Life?\r\nSocial media has become rife with examples of users finding out their partner has been using ChatGPT as support while arguing or trying to resolve issues together, which on the surface level might seem like a helpful aid—but is it an ethical or sustainable solution to disagreements?\r\n“Arguments between partners aren’t just verbal chess matches; they’re flashes of raw feeling and deeply personal back-stories colliding in real time,” says Brian Lutz, a licensed marriage and family therapist and Chief Clinical Officer at Blume Behavioral Health.\r\n“Conflict resolution depends on voices that shake, pauses that linger, and eye contact that says more than any string of polished words. Bringing ChatGPT—or any AI—into that delicate space can feel tempting, but it often sabotages the very connection you’re trying to repair.”\r\nAlthough using large language models (also known as AI programs) like ChatGPT might seem like the easier way to approach conflict — a way to figure out the words you might feel you’re lacking or untangle the nuances of the argument — experts warn that relying on artificial intelligence isn’t just unethical but can also lead to worsening disagreements and even dependence down the line.\r\nAs such, here’s why you’ll want to skip using AI to try and smooth out disagreements with your partner, according to relationship psychologists:\r\n1. It Skips Non-Verbal Cues\r\nAI lives in the realm of syntax, not sensation. It can’t notice the catch in your partner’s breath or the tension in your own shoulders when a painful memory resurfaces. According to Lutz, those non-verbal cues are the signals we use to gauge safety and empathy, and without them, even the most eloquent text lands flat.\r\n“Clients who test AI-generated apologies usually report that the words look perfect on the screen, yet somehow strip the moment of warmth, leaving both people feeling oddly lonely,” he explains.\r\nRELATED: How to Give a Genuine Apology\r\n2. Healing & Resolution Depend on Authenticity\r\nReal healing runs on authenticity. \r\n“When you outsource your side of the conversation, you dilute the honesty that builds trust,” explains Lutz. \r\n“One couple I treated attempted to hand their phones back and forth, exchanging AI-drafted messages,” he says. “The dialogue looked civil, but irritation simmered underneath because each person sensed that the other’s true feelings were being filtered. The argument dragged on, gaining new layers of resentment about the ‘robot voice’ between them.”\r\n3. It Bypasses Necessary Discomfort\r\nThere’s also a subtler danger: avoidance. Relying on an app may let you dodge discomfort, but growth requires leaning into it, says Lutz.\r\nRELATED: Why Never Fighting Is Actually a Red Flag\r\n“You learn why specific comments sting only by sitting with the sting and talking it through — messy phrasing, awkward silences, and all,” he explains. “When partners do that hard work, they come away with insight and resilience; when they let software smooth the edges, the core issue remains, ready to flare up again.”\r\n4. It Can Lead to Feeling of Gaslit & a Lack of Emotional Safety\r\n“Language models can replicate preconceptions and fail to recognize safety indicators, according to a recent Stanford update on AI mental health technology,” explains Caitlyn McClure, Vice President of Clinical Services at Northern Illinois Recovery.\r\n“Because one partner feels gaslighted or invisible when the generated language overlooks context, those blind spots during an argument can turn a heated moment into a trigger for a relapse,” she says, adding that the abrupt loss of emotional safety has the ability to end the session altogether before couples can determine the true cause.\r\n5. AI Doesn’t Respond Accurately to Crisis Prompts\r\nAlthough it won't work even if the response is flawless, according to a Psychology Today article this year, AI chatbots only accurately responded to crisis prompts less than 60% of the time.\r\n“This is primarily because they mimic user speech without understanding nuance, and that echo is heard by partners,” says McClure. “They tell me how frequently the apology was made and how it seemed like it was lifted verbatim. Instead of a script produced with the utmost civility, what heals is a real-time encounter where mistakes may be owned.”\r\n6. Relying on AI for Intersocial Support Breeds Dependence\r\n“Therapists in the UK have cautioned that people who use chatbots for emotional work experience increased anxiety and loneliness,” says McClure. “When it comes to couples, I observe the same slide.”\r\nRELATED: Habits That Subtly Erode Trust in Your Relationship\r\nDisengaging, McClure says that her clients have admitted to checking with the bot first, then with one another. That extra layer creates long-lasting animosity and postpones actual mending. \r\n“Over time, that dependence may resemble the dynamics of substance addiction, with deeper coping strategies being replaced by the quick fix of soothing words,” McClure cautions.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThe Dangers of Turning to AI for Mental Health SupportDoes Having an AI 'Partner' Count as Cheating? What to Know About AI-Driven Online Dating Scams", "keywords": ", Use, ChatGPT, When, Arguing, With, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/is-it-ok-to-use-chatgpt-when-arguing-with-a-partner/askmen-lead-image-2x1-43-1758919852.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/is-it-ok-to-use-chatgpt-when-arguing-with-a-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89509", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Sports Lovers", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-sports-lovers", "title_hash": "cb83e343ebbbfc7880114703fa5d047e", "summary": "Shopping for a Die-Hard Fan This Holiday Season? We've Got You Covered", "content": "Gift giving is most certainly an art. Sure, you could grab everyone on your list a pack of socks and a gift card for Netflix, but where’s the fun in that? To truly win the holidays, you need to gift with purpose. That means knowing exactly what those on your list really want, and when it comes to sports fans, it’s pretty clear-cut.\r\nRELATED: Christmas Gifts for Men\r\nAs it turns out, gifts for sports fans go far beyond tickets to the game (though those are really great, too). All you need to come up with the best sports-related gift for the sports fan on your list, however, is a little creativity. As long as you know the team — or even the sport — they cheer for, you can nab something really awesome in regards to their favorite sport, team, or player.\r\nIs he a Philadelphia Eagles fan? Try a blueprint poster of Lincoln Financial Field. Did he idolize Michael Jordan when he was growing up? Get him a Chicago Bulls jersey — but the one Jordan wore in Space Jam.\r\nPoint is, forget the tie with baseballs on it or the cheap “Go Team!” shirt from your local department store. What a sports fan really wants is something that’s personal and true to their fandom. To give you a head start on where to find gifts that'll inspire an ear-to-ear grin on even the most serious of sports fans' faces, we’ve compiled this gift guide that has everything from those classic Fathead decals to a book designed to immortalize ticket stubs. So without further ado, here are the best gifts for sports fans.\r\n\r\nBest Gift Ideas for Sports Lovers\r\n\r\nNew York Times Custom Baseball Book\r\n\r\nThis personalized book is the perfect gift for baseball fans whose love for their team goes way back, long before they were even born. Help them learn all about their favorite team's history via reprinted coverage from The New York Times, including the most newsworthy games and all-star sluggers in their glory days. Pick from any of the 30 existing MLB teams, or throw it way back with the Brooklyn Dodgers or New York Giants baseball teams.\r\nFrom $90 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nWhiskey Stones Hockey Pucks Chillers\r\n\r\nForget boring old whiskey rocks; the hockey fan in your life is going to love these unique stone pucks instead. They can just pop them in the freezer for a couple hours and then put them in their favorite beverage to keep it perfectly chilled without watering it down. It's great for whiskey, of course, but also any spirit or non-alcoholic beverages, too.\r\n$33 at Amazon.com\r\nFootball Helmet Bottle Cap Holder\r\n\r\nIf they never let a football Sunday go by without trying a new brew, this cool bottle cap holder will be a great way to show off their boozy triumphs on the wall of their \"fan\" cave. It even comes in a variety of different wood stains to match their decor or their team's colors.\r\n$27.95 at Etsy.com\r\nSloping Ski Glasses\r\n\r\nGot a skier on your holiday gift list? These awesome glasses are sure to put a smile on their wind-whipped face thanks to their incredibly unique sloped design. The set of four glasses features different illustrations of skiers gliding down some fresh powder, and would look especially cool filled with milk alongside some après-ski cookies.\r\n$58 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nGolf Driver Drink Dispenser\r\n\r\nWhat's a day on the green without a cup — or four — of beer? This drink dispenser looks like any old golf club, except it's actually an insulated tank that can hold 48 ounces of their favorite beverage. Whether that's beer, Gatorade, coffee, or water is up to them, but it's bound to be the coolest thing their golf bag has seen in ages.\r\n$89.99 at SharperImage.com\r\nFoster & Rye Baseball Trophy Wine Stopper\r\n\r\nBatter up! If their love of baseball is rivaled only by their love of wine or whiskey, this stylish bottle stopper is sure to knock it out of the park this holiday season. With a hand-painted gold finish, it’s the ultimate conversation starter sitting atop a mantle or shelf, just waiting until they're ready to “swig” for the fences.\r\n$15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBarrington 40\" Dartboard Cabinet Set\r\n\r\nAny sports fan knows that a great sports bar (or basement man cave) needs a dartboard so fans can let off some steam between plays. This premium dartboard cabinet provides the perfect upgrade with its self-healing surface, built-in scoreboards, and LED lights. It also comes with six steel-tip darts and flights, and a marker and eraser for keeping track of scores.\r\n$149.99 at Walmart.com\r\nIgloo NFL Collection - Little Playmate Cooler\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nHelp them take their tailgates to the next level with a cooler emblazoned with their favorite team's logo and colors. This 7-quart cooler is big enough to hold up to nine cans, and its molded handle makes it easy to grab and go with one hand. It's made with eco-friendly insulation, too.\r\nFrom $59.99 at IglooCoolers.com\r\nMitchell & Ness\r\n\r\nMost sports fans would accept any jersey (throwback or otherwise) with open arms, but there’s just something about donning a team’s classic threads that feels so right. Maybe it’s the variety of different colorways or the nostalgic vibe of a unique jersey style from a different era. Regardless of the preference, Mitchell & Ness is the go-to for throwbacks. Whether it’s an authentic New York Yankees jersey like Derek Jeter wore during the 1998 World Series or Kevin Durant’s Seattle Sonics jersey, they’ve got it and the sports fan you’re shopping for wants it. \r\nFind out more at MitchellAndNess.com\r\nStadium Blueprint Poster\r\n\r\nSports fans take their fandom seriously and treat the stadiums and arenas where their teams play as literal shrines. Help them lean even further into it by gifting them a unique blueprint poster of their home team’s digs. It’ll remind them of all the times they’ve visited the place, or would serve as motivation to finally make that inaugural trip when they're able to do so. Plus, the vintage look of a blueprint poster is much more awe-worthy than a simple photo and would make a subtle, yet stylish piece of wall decor in any home office or man cave. \r\nFrom $85 at UncommonGoods.com\r\n‘Basketball (and Other Things): A Collection of Questions Asked, Answered, Illustrated’ by Shea Serrano\r\n\r\nWritten by New York Times bestselling author, Shea Serrano, “Basketball (and Other Things)” is essential reading for any fan of the sport of basketball. Beautifully illustrated and side-splittingly funny, the book approaches the game of basketball — and the NBA — in a ridiculous, yet practical way. For instance, some of the chapters explore the most disrespectful dunks, debate which year Michael Jordan was the best version of himself, and ponder the players who’d make the cut if you could create the most epic \"Frankenplayer\" of all time. In short, Serrano asks questions you never knew you wanted the answers to. Plus, Indiana Pacers legend Reggie Miller wrote the foreword, making this a must-have on every sports fan’s bookshelf.\r\n$24.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTicket Stub Diary\r\n\r\nSure, this may not get a ton of use for fresh ticket stubs, but if they've got a bunch laying around without a home, this Ticket Stub Diary is the best way to honor and display the artifacts of memorable games. After all, used ticket stubs deserve more than to be shoved into a junk drawer, don't they? It comes with 52 pages of clear sleeves capable of holding up to 118 different ticket stubs, and it even has lined paper in the margins to jot down notes. It’s the perfect way for sports fans to relive that time they saw the Philadelphia Eagles dethrone the Patriots, or that game where they finally ended up dancing on the jumbotron. \r\n$17 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nSigned Memorabilia\r\n\r\nIf you know the teams and players they like and really want to spoil them, signed memorabilia is one of the easiest things to give someone who loves sports. For instance, what fan of the Boston Red Sox wouldn’t want a David Ortiz-signed game model bat encased in a frame to hang honorably on their wall? Every single Red Sox fan, that’s who. A simple Google search shows options from sites like eBay or Amazon, but the best sites to look for genuine collectibles are Steiner Sports and, our favorite pick, Sports Memorabilia. \r\nFind out more at SportsMemorabilia.com\r\nNew Era Hat\r\n\r\nFrom the baseball caps teams wear in-game to commemorative hats celebrating a Super Bowl victory or the NFL’s Salute to Service, New Era has it all. It’s the official cap sponsor for literally every major sport, which means it's most definitely the brand you’ll want to turn to for authentic, high-quality hats. They even have knit beanies, T-shirts, jackets and sweatshirts in case the sports fan you’re shopping for isn’t exactly a “hat person.” \r\nFind out more at NewEraCap.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Stocking Stuffers for Men\r\n\r\nBaseball Park Map Pint Glasses\r\n\r\nIf your favorite sports fan is the type to kick back with an ice cold beer while watching America's pastime, this set of two pint glasses is sure to be both celebrated and cherished. Each glass displays a line-drawn overhead map of their favorite MLB stadium in the team's two main colors. Even cooler, the final sip reveals the team's logo at the very bottom of the glass, serving as a visual cue to fill up for the next round. If he's more of a whiskey guy, however, these glasses are the perfect fit.\r\n$38 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nA Personal Cameo Greeting\r\n\r\nCameo burst on the scene in recent years as a way for people to get personalized greetings from celebrities and athletes for birthdays or fantasy football championships. For a fee, an available athlete records a short video — usually 30 seconds to a minute — with a personalized greeting of your choice. Can you image the look on the face of your favorite sports fan as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar or Brett Favre wishes them “happy holidays?\" Be prepared for a huge smile when they see it ... and for the video to be all over their social media accounts for weeks (okay, more like months) on end. \r\nFind out more at Cameo.com\r\nThe Athletic Subscription\r\n\r\nThe Athletic is the premier sports journalism site on the internet. This isn’t just a collection of repackaged ESPN stories. Oh, no. This is article after article of original storytelling, in-depth reporting and unrivaled sports coverage. An annual subscription runs for only $5 a month but grants access to The Athletic’s deep well of ad-free content. The site employs writers such as Shams Charania, Jayson Stark and Dana O’Neil and covers virtually every sport you can think of. This is one of the few sites where its paywall seems like a bargain, making it downright steal for any sports fan. \r\nFind out more at TheAthletic.com\r\nFathead Wall Decal\r\n\r\nThe fact that Fatheads still exist means there are thousands of households across the country with a larger-than-life stick-on decal of Peyton Manning or LeBron James adorning at least one of its walls. As ridiculous as the premise may be, Fatheads are the ultimate way for a sports fan to show their team loyalty. Plus, it gives them the opportunity to give a decal a fake high five the next time they watch their team play, which is, unfortunately more social contact than most fans can get while watching a game these days. There’s a Fathead for literally everything, too. Players, team logos, football helmets, baseball hats, stadium photos and so much more. \r\nFind out more at Fathead.com\r\nThe Mug With A Hoop\r\n\r\nFor the sports fan that's really just a kid at heart, these quirky mugs make it okay to play with their food, even as a full-fledged adult. Whether used for hot beverages, soup, ice cream or cereal, they'll get plenty of use out of these fun food vessels that are sure to put a smile on any fan's face. We like the one for basketball fans pictured here because they can shoot marshmallow hoops as they wait for their hot chocolate to cool down a little, but there are equally charming versions for baseball, hockey, soccer and football fans, too.\r\n$29.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTickets to a Game\r\n\r\nFrom football to baseball, few experiences are quite as exhilarating as attending a sporting event in person. That's why giving tickets to a game has always been one of the most logical gifts you could buy for a sports lover. Though we had to live without in-person events for a while, they're totally back in action now, so help them enjoy their next in-stadium game that much more with this gift card. (Oh, and don't worry: StubHub gift cards never expire, so this is a pretty foolproof choice.)\r\nFrom $25 to $100 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Stocking Stuffers for Her\r\n\tUnique Christmas Gifts\r\n\tBest Gifts for Outdoor Enthusiasts", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Sports, Lovers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/the-best-gifts-for-sports-lovers/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1759158259.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/the-best-gifts-for-sports-lovers.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:56:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89383", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Effective ADHD Care Can Improve Focus And Daily Productivity", "title_slug": "how-effective-adhd-care-can-improve-focus-and-daily-productivity", "title_hash": "c3aa2c926746e84affb0fd1faed46268", "summary": "Managing Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often feels like a constant balancing act between focus and distraction. For individuals who live with ADHD, daily productivity can suffer without structured care. Whether at work, in school, or while handling everyday responsibilities, consistent attention can prove difficult to maintain. Tailored strategies and proper treatment can significantly improve both focus and functionality. An ADHD care plan focuses on long-term improvements, not just symptom management. These strategies often combine professional support, environmental adjustments, and lifestyle changes to promote better control over attention, behavior, and emotional regulation. The goal always centers on helping individuals build a routine that works in their real lives. Recognizing How ADHD Affects Productivity ADHD manifests in several ways, including difficulty concentrating, impulsivity, and disorganization. These traits can interfere with professional performan", "content": "

Managing Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often feels like a constant balancing act between focus and distraction. For individuals who live with ADHD, daily productivity can suffer without structured care. Whether at work, in school, or while handling everyday responsibilities, consistent attention can prove difficult to maintain. Tailored strategies and proper treatment can significantly improve both focus and functionality. An ADHD care plan focuses on long-term improvements, not just symptom management. These strategies often combine professional support, environmental adjustments, and lifestyle changes to promote better control over attention, behavior, and emotional regulation. The goal always centers on helping individuals build a routine that works in their real lives. Recognizing How ADHD Affects Productivity ADHD manifests in several ways, including difficulty concentrating, impulsivity, and disorganization. These traits can interfere with professional performance and personal responsibilities alike. Tasks that others complete easily may require twice the time and mental effort for someone with ADHD. Procrastination, forgetfulness, or inconsistent time management often stem from neurological patterns rather than poor habits. Recognizing this distinction leads to more empathy and better problem-solving. With the right interventions, many people improve their efficiency and reduce frustration in daily life. The Role of Structured Routines A predictable routine […]

The post How Effective ADHD Care Can Improve Focus And Daily Productivity appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "How, Effective, ADHD, Care, Can, Improve, Focus, And, Daily, Productivity", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/mistakes1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/how-adhd-improve-focus-and-daily-productivity/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:46:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89347", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After Two Pregnancies, I Am Still Not Sure Of My Place In His Life", "title_slug": "after-two-pregnancies-i-am-still-not-sure-of-my-place-in-his-life", "title_hash": "03b79b051be311cc90f603f0d1052a19", "summary": "When we started dating, he was really nice. I had just completed high school and was doing odd jobs to survive. With his help, I got something more stable to …", "content": "

When we started dating, he was really nice. I had just completed high school and was doing odd jobs to survive. With his help, I got something more stable to do. I was happy because I was now in a position to stop asking people for help. I could take care of myself. I even started appreciating him in small ways. Although he never bought me any gifts, I always went out of my way to buy him clothes. I also lent him money every time he was down.

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A few months into the relationship he started cheating on me. I didn’t know at the time because nothing felt off in our relationship. We used to spend all our weekends together, and he often came to sleep over at my place during the week.

Our first break-up happened when he confessed that he cheated on me and contracted Syphilis. I told myself I was better off without him but after a week, I started missing him. I crawled back to him and said I had forgiven him. He told me he didn’t want a relationship anymore. “I need to spend some time with myself right now.” Yet, he was still with the other lady.

Halfway into January, he came to my house with the excuse that he wanted back the phone he had given me. Things got heated and we ended up getting intimate.

On March 1st, I found out I was pregnant.

When I told him about it he assured me he was no longer seeing the other lady. So we got back together. Only for him to tell me three weeks later that the other lady was also pregnant. I didn’t say anything. I just booked an appointment at the clinic and got rid of mine.

When I finished, he called to tell me he made her get rid of hers too. He said he was sorry I had to go through what I did and that he felt guilty. I almost believed him but guess what? Another girl showed up in April claiming to be pregnant by him. She also didn’t get to keep hers.

By June, all the chaos seemed to have settled. He told me he was no longer talking to all the other girls. It was just the two of us now. He sounded so sincere I believed him. I let my guard down and got pregnant again. This time around he asked me to move in with him. We’ve been living together since.

We’ve been peaceful. We’ve been happy. Everything seemed okay until I went through his phone last night. He is still talking to the first girl he cheated on me with.

I confronted him and he claims they are just friends. Honestly, I didn’t find anything shady in their chats. Still, I feel betrayed. I only agreed to get back together with him when he promised he had cut all ties with everyone in his past. So why is he secretly keeping in touch with one of them?

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

Now, he says he only talks to her out of guilt because he forced her to remove the pregnancy when she didn’t want to. I want to understand his reasons but her very presence in his life makes me feel insecure.

Am I wrong for not wanting him to talk to her? The way my emotions are all over the place, I just want to get rid of this one I am carrying and walk away from him for the sake of my peace of mind.

—Bea

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Recently, I was ordained as a deaconess in a well-known church here in Ghana. When the leaders first informed me of their decision, I declined the offer. I didn’t feel ready, and I didn’t believe it was the right time. Truthfully, I had no interest in taking on such a role. But after speaking with a few trusted friends and family members, I agreed to go through the interview process.

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In my heart, I believed I wouldn’t pass the interview, since I wasn’t passionate about it. But to my surprise, I was selected among the few to be ordained. Even though I didn’t desire the position, I accepted it. I told myself that if it was the Lord’s work, I would do it with diligence, trusting that it was God’s will for me.

People of God, ever since the ordination service, something in me has shifted. I’ve lost interest in the things of God, and when Sunday approaches, I feel reluctant to go to church. It has started to feel like a duty rather than a joy. This wasn’t how I felt before I took on this role. I used to be happy to enter the house of God, and I always looked forward to it. I said yes to any work in the church, and I did it with excitement.

I’ve spoken to my pastor and shared my struggle with him. He gave me some words of encouragement, and I’ve also prayed on my own, asking for strength and clarity. I keep reminding myself that it is not by might or by power, but by the Spirit of the Lord. Still, nothing has changed.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

Right now, I’ve considered writing a resignation letter, but I’m confused and unsure if that’s the right decision. I don’t want to act out of emotion, but I also don’t want to keep serving from a place of emptiness. There is no peace or fulfillment in it, and it feels like I am pretending in the house of God. I know God sees my heart, and I don’t want to offer Him something that isn’t real.

I’m hoping someone who has walked this path before can offer guidance. I need clarity, and I need peace.

—Phillipa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": "They, Forced, Become, Deaconess, Now, I’m, Losing, Faith", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/58625.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/they-forced-me-to-become-a-deaconess-now-im-losing-my-faith/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:11:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89344", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Boyfriend Is Leaving Me Because I Cut My Hair", "title_slug": "my-boyfriend-is-leaving-me-because-i-cut-my-hair", "title_hash": "37c2a9820c7282913b0943493deff015", "summary": "On my twenty-eighth birthday, I decided to look different, and the only thing that came to my head was to get a haircut. I posted photos of different haircuts on …", "content": "

On my twenty-eighth birthday, I decided to look different, and the only thing that came to my head was to get a haircut. I posted photos of different haircuts on my status and asked which one would fit my face and appearance. My boyfriend saw them and said nothing. When I was with him, I gave him the impression that I wanted to cut my hair, and he even joked that my face would look horrible.

The night before my birthday, I went to the salon and got my hair cut. I looked in the mirror and felt a version of me that traveled long ago had come back home. I was looking prettier than I had even thought.

I slept, woke up in the morning to a call from him that he was coming over. I knew what he was coming with, so I prepared for him. Immediately he saw my face, he screamed, “What have you done to yourself?”

I burst out laughing, asking him if I looked more beautiful than he expected to see. I even gave him a 360 so he could see me in all my glory and shine. He stood quietly, shook his head, and started leaving with all the things he came with.

“Arnold, what is wrong? Are you serious about leaving? What’s the problem?”

I wore my slippers and followed him, but by the time I got to the gate, he had driven away. He didn’t pick up my calls until later he sent a text, “What do you take me for if you won’t talk to me about a decision as important as cutting your hair? Am I even your boyfriend? Did you think about how I would feel before you did it? It only means I don’t matter in your life.”

I apologized. I said I was trying to surprise him. I even said it was part of my birthday package for him. What haven’t I said or done? He still insists I didn’t respect his opinion, and because of that, he hasn’t spoken to me since my birthday on the 9th of August. He blocks me and later unblocks me. I thought he was punishing me for a while and would later forgive me, but for this long?

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

Is he right the way he’s treating me? It’s my own hair, ooo. Yeah, it would have been nice if I told him, but what’s love without surprises? Should I stop chasing and wait until he comes back? What if he doesn’t?

—Ellen

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend, Leaving, Because, Cut, Hair", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/215154.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriend-is-leaving-me-because-i-cut-my-hair/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:11:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89345", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Took Care Of Him For Another Woman To Have Him", "title_slug": "i-took-care-of-him-for-another-woman-to-have-him", "title_hash": "d0d8476ee47e18d72c2188f9c088ea2a", "summary": "Chris and I have been together since we met in 2019. At that time, I was still in senior high school while he had just completed SHS and gained admission …", "content": "

Chris and I have been together since we met in 2019. At that time, I was still in senior high school while he had just completed SHS and gained admission into nursing training college.

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As time passed, I completed SHS, and traveled to the south to work while waiting for my results. Even though he was older than me, I supported him in school with my income. The truth is, I was supportive of him even before I completed SHS. I used to help him because my family gave me money, and he was always in need. As someone who believes love is all about genuine care, I made it my responsibility to take care of him.

Everything seemed fine—even when the relationship became long-distance, we still communicated well. He always confessed his love, appreciation, and gratitude for all the ways I provided for his needs.

He has completed the nursing training, and he is finished with his national service this year. We were all excited when he got a new job even though his work place is far from home.
\n

Because of the distance, he has to rent a room. When he told me about it we planned together how to furnish it. He even sent me a list of items he needed for the room and said, “Pick the ones you can afford to buy for me.”

Since I was far away, I told him, “I will send some money for you to handle it yourself.”

A few days later, he sent me a photo of a lady, saying she was “disturbing” him. When I asked how, he explained that she’s a friend who wants to help him set up his room but also wants a relationship with him. I asked if he had told her about me, and he said yes, but she didn’t believe it because she had never seen him with a girl.

I suggested talking to her directly, but he refused, saying if he gave me her number, she might discourage me, and I wouldn’t want the relationship anymore. He even asked, “How would you feel if someone calls you about a relationship you know nothing about?” That response made no sense to me. If he truly has nothing to hide, why won’t he let me talk to her?

Since then, I’ve gone quiet on him. I have been focusing on my work and school. Instead of making amends, he behaves as if nothing is amiss. When I ask him for the truth about his relationship with the lady, he gives me no answer.

What hurts most is how much I’ve sacrificed for him. On his birthday, I always send him money. On Valentine’s Day, I buy him chocolates. On Mother’s Day, I even send money to his mother because she’s so kind to me. I also send them gifts, credit, and data whenever I can. And yet, he has never bought me a single gift.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

I haven’t told his mother about this yet because I know she’ll try to convince me to stay with her son. But I’ve made up my mind. I am leaving.

Chris, if this post finds you, I want you to know that you can go ahead and move on with your “female friend”. I’ve moved on too. I’m not angry. I’m not cursing you. Be happy. May God bless us both.

—Sandra

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Took, Care, Him, For, Another, Woman, Have, Him", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9517.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-took-care-of-him-for-another-woman-to-have-him/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:11:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89343", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Boyfriend Wants to Marry Me But He Hates Women", "title_slug": "my-boyfriend-wants-to-marry-me-but-he-hates-women", "title_hash": "d3d630a404323154a718db296fa41242", "summary": "I started dating my boyfriend Mike last year, and honestly speaking, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Mike is everything I want in a man. …", "content": "

I started dating my boyfriend Mike last year, and honestly speaking, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Mike is everything I want in a man. He’s funny, always cheerful, loyal, kind, a good chef, and very clean. Since I met Mike, he has taken it upon himself to take care of all my needs, from the biggest to the smallest. I don’t even need to ask for things because he’s always eager to do everything for me. He even gets angry when I buy things with my own money, and to crown it all, he’s good in bed.

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I was hesitant about dating Mike because we have a 10-year age gap. I’m 25, and he’s 35, but he has proven to me that the gap doesn’t matter. We talk and play like agemates, and he made it so easy for me to fall in love with him. It’s been almost a year, and we’ve never had any major issues, just small ones, and we don’t let problems carry over to the next day.

Sometimes I ask myself what I did to deserve this kind of love because this is my best relationship so far and the most peaceful one.

Now my problem with Mike is that he always has something terrible to say about women. All the time! We could be walking on the road, and he’ll see a woman on the bigger side, and he’ll talk so badly about her: “How the woman will kill her husband with her weight, how she’s probably smelly”. If he sees one with a big backside, he’ll say once the lady turns 30, everything will be rubbish and there’s nothing attractive about her anymore. He’ll completely tear the woman down.

If he sees someone with knock knees, he’ll comment. He sees another and talks about how ugly she is and how no man could ever desire her. He sees another and says they’re dressed like prostitutes, or he’ll outright call them one.

Most of our arguments are based on things he says about other women. It’s always as if he’s outside on a mission to look for faults in women and talk badly about them.

Mike is one of those men who believe that once a lady turns 30 without marriage, she hasn’t achieved anything, no matter how financially stable she is. He’s one of those men who will see a bad driver on the road and immediately conclude the driver is a woman because “it’s women who make those kinds of silly mistakes, not men.” If he sees a woman in a position of power, he just waits for her to make a mistake so he can say, “That’s how women are. They can’t handle such positions.”

He also believes that a lady’s financial independence is a threat to a man’s leadership. He says this often, and I’m tired of debating with him.

Here’s what confuses me the most: despite all these things he says, since I met him, my business has grown from making 100 cedis to 1000 cedis. Mike pumps money into my business, gives me business ideas, and is always making bigger plans for my business and me.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve cooked for Mike in our almost one-year relationship. He’s the one who goes to the market, buys everything, comes back, cooks, and serves me. He also takes my financial advice and includes me in every single decision he makes.

All of this contradicts everything he says about women, and it’s driving me crazy. Recently, Mike has been talking about marriage a lot. He moved to a bigger place and bought expensive gadgets because “we will soon get married,” according to him. A few days ago, he asked what kind of proposal I’d like – private or public. Our one-year anniversary is next month, and I feel like he’s about to ask me to marry him.

But I’m terrified. What if Mike secretly hates me too? I’m convinced he hates women at this point. What if when we get married, he starts talking badly about me the way he does about every other woman?

Whenever I confront him about his comments, he claims he does it because “a lot of women have broken his heart.” I’ve had my own share of heartbreak in the past, but you won’t see me talking about how some random man’s body will deteriorate when he’s over 40.

My sister says I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but I don’t think I am.

Am I truly overreacting, or should I be scared for my future? Can I marry a man who clearly has so much hatred for women, even if he treats me like a queen right now?

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
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What happens when I turn 30? What happens when we have disagreements? What happens if we have daughters?

I need honest advice. Should I ignore his words and focus on his actions, or should I trust my gut that’s telling me something is very wrong here?

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Have you ever been with someone who treated you well but spoke terribly about people like you? I need to hear from you in the comments.

—Esther

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend, Wants, Marry, But, Hates, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/5496489.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-boyfriend-wants-to-marry-me-but-he-hates-women/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 12:11:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89111", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin is Pausing Abortion Services Due to Trump Legislation", "title_slug": "planned-parenthood-of-wisconsin-is-pausing-abortion-services-due-to-trump-legislation", "title_hash": "3132cd9879a3a1bfaaa23b9a9f780d62", "summary": "“In the meantime, we are pursuing every available option—through the courts, through operations, and civic engagement,” Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin President Tanya Atkinson said. \nThe post Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin is Pausing Abortion Services Due to Trump Legislation appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin will once again pause abortion services at its clinics next week after an injunction that blocked portions of President Donald Trump’s megabill was lifted.

Three Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin clinics in Madison, Milwaukee, and Sheboygan currently offer abortion services and are together the largest provider for abortion services in the state.

The temporary pause in services will take effect on Oct. 1. Until then, Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin says that it is working to see as many patients as possible and continuing to monitor the legal landscape.

“Our commitment is unwavering: Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin will continue to provide the full spectrum of reproductive health care—including abortion—as soon and as we are able to,” Tanya Atkinson, president of Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin, said in a statement. “In the meantime, we are pursuing every available option—through the courts, through operations, and civic engagement.”

“To the patients who count on us: we are here for you. To our staff and supporters: thank you for standing with us. We remain dedicated to care—no matter what,” Atkinson said.

The organization is halting services due the federal tax cut and spending megabill—officially titled the “One Big Beautiful Bill” Act—signed by Trump earlier this year.

Federal funds have been prohibited from being used to pay for most abortion care for nearly five decades under the Hyde Amendment. However, Planned Parenthood has been able to use federal funds via Medicaid payments and Title X, a federally funded family planning program, to help provide services other than abortion care, including contraceptive care, STI testing, pregnancy testing, and gynecological services to low-income and uninsured individuals.

The new law includes a provision, which is set to expire July 4, 2026, that bars Medicaid payments for one year for organizations that received more than $800,000 in Medicaid reimbursements in fiscal year 2023 and primarily engage in family planning services and reproductive health and provide abortions. Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin noted that the law was crafted specifically to penalize Planned Parenthood and its patients.

The law is being challenged in court, but an injunction that was blocking the law from taking effect was lifted earlier this month by the First District Court of Appeals.

According to the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s Collaborative for Reproductive Equity (CORE), after October 1, clinic-based abortion care in Wisconsin will only be available at two independent clinics in Milwaukee.

“Effectively, 99 percent of Wisconsin counties now lack clinic-based abortion care,” the organization said in an email.

This is the second time that abortion services will disappear from the state since Roe v. Wade was overturned.

After the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision, abortion care in Wisconsin halted for about 15 months from June 2022 until September 2023, when Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin determined it had enough legal standing to resume.

Abortion had been halted in Wisconsin due to a criminal law enacted in 1849, but that was ruled invalid and unenforceable by the Wisconsin Supreme Court in July. The state supreme court found in its 4-3 decision that the law had effectively been repealed by other laws passed after it.

A coalition of Illinois abortion providers and advocates said at a press conference in Chicago Thursday morning that they were prepared to take Wisconsin residents who need abortion services.

Dr. Allison Cowett, an OB-GYN and chief medical officer for Family Planning Associates, which is the largest independent abortion provider in Illinois, said the agency saw a significant jump in patients the last time abortion services were restricted in Wisconsin.

“Before Dobbs, less than 3 percent of our patients traveled to Illinois from Wisconsin for an abortion. When Wisconsin’s 1849 trigger ban went into effect, that number jumped to 9 percent,” Cowett said. “One in every 12 patients we cared for here in this building came from Wisconsin. After 15 months of that ban, abortion services in Wisconsin were restored, and that number dropped in half.”

She expects the previous increase to be repeated.

“With the sharp reduction in abortion access expected in Wisconsin in less than a week, we anticipate a large influx of patients, once again, forced to travel to Illinois for this basic health care,” Cowett said.

Megan Jeyifo, executive director of the Chicago Abortion Fund, said the pause in services amounts to a ban and Illinois is prepared to once again take in patients.

“Illinois is ready. Our constellation of care, which includes providers, funds, advocates, and our incredible elected officials will not leave people stranded,” Jeyifo said. “We will not abandon people when they need us. We will be here with open arms to support the needs of our neighbors. Abortion is not just a procedure or a few pills. Abortion gives women and girls and trans and non-binary people control of our lives, our families and our futures.”

Wisconsin Democrats were critical of Trump’s law for how it is affecting access and recommended that people continue to reach out to Planned Parenthood if they need care.

U.S. Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) told reporters after a discussion with people affected by Trump administration changes to the Affordable Care Act in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin that Planned Parenthood’s announcement is just one of the health-care impacts from Trump’s “big, ugly bill.”

“Planned Parenthood does incredible things for people’s health, cancer screenings, wellness checkups, full range of reproductive care, and this is obviously already having impacts on the type of care that Wisconsinites will be able to receive, and it’s a tragic result,” Baldwin said.

State Senate Minority Leader Dianne Hesselbein and state Assembly Minority Leader Greta Neubauer said in a joint statement that “the Trump administration and Republican extremists are focused on targeting access to reproductive health care.”

“Planned Parenthood’s announcement that it is pausing abortion services is the latest example of the devastating effects of Trump’s Big, Ugly Bill. Wisconsinites will continue to have their lives upended and their wellbeing threatened by that piece of legislation,” the lawmakers said. “It is important to note that abortion is and remains legal in the State of Wisconsin. Those who need that health care should continue to contact Planned Parenthood for help in finding access to those services or reach out to other providers who offer abortion services.”

Wisconsin Right to Life, an anti-abortion advocacy organization, celebrated the pause in services in a statement.

“Taxpayer dollars should never fund the taking of innocent preborn lives,” Executive Director Heather Weininger said, claiming that Planned Parenthood has “long centered its operations around abortion services, and this announcement only confirms that reality.”

According to Planned Parenthood’s annual report from 2022-23, abortion services accounted for 4 percent of all the health services the organization provided.

“Women and girls facing difficult or unexpected pregnancies deserve compassion, real support, and life-affirming care—and that’s exactly what the pro-life movement is committed to providing,” Weininger said.

\n\n

This story was originally reported by Baylor Spears for Wisconsin Examiner. Wisconsin Examiner is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Wisconsin Examiner maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Ruth Conniff for questions: info@wisconsinexaminer.com.

The post Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin is Pausing Abortion Services Due to Trump Legislation appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Planned, Parenthood, Wisconsin, Pausing, Abortion, Services, Due, Trump, Legislation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/shutterstock_2483574837-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/09/29/planned-parenthood-wisconsin-pausing-abortion-services-trump-legislation/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-29 11:58:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "89022", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Marriage Does Not Stop A Cheating Man From Cheating — Didi-Omah", "title_slug": "marriage-does-not-stop-a-cheating-man-from-cheating-didi-omah", "title_hash": null, "summary": "We all know that marriage is the joining together of a man and woman, not man and man, nor woman and woman.", "content": "

We all know that marriage is the joining together of a man and woman, not man and man, nor woman and woman.

\r\n

But coming together of one man and one woman. In the light of cheating, marriage can not withhold a cheating man from cheating.

\r\n

Marriage deos not scares a man from cheating, likewise same to woman. No amount of responsibilities that marriage and having family will bring that will stop a cheating man from cheating and continue in the lust.

\r\n

Most people think that it is when he marries me, he will not cheat anymore — sorry, that is a lie. Marriage does not stop a cheating man from cheating.

\r\n

You are his girlfriend and she is your girlfriend, and you are fighting for he or she not to cheat on you. Impossible, if your so-called boyfriend and girlfriend can cheat on you, and clean mouth like one who eat meat from another's pot — with pretence of being faithful.

\r\n

Being in the so-called boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, does not stop cheating and unfaithfulness.

\r\n

In regards to dating, looking at the dictionary meaning of dating, it has a date. I am going on a business date, dinner date — it is an event fixed on with a date. Not being in relationship.

\r\n

I have come to realise that you can't be in the so-called dating, be praying to God, against fornicating or having sex before marriage. Where will the grace come from?

\r\n

Boyfriend and girlfriend is not in the Bible, what is recorded there is husband and wife. Being married, can not stop a woman from not being sexed by another man, not her husband.

\r\n

It is happening, adultery and fornications everywhere! You are in a relationship or courting, and your partner cheats once or not once — you are driving fast into marriage, having the mentality that when both of you are married, he or she will not cheat.

\r\n

Sorry, that is story on paper, not reality. Cheating is from the heart and of a person; not something that marriage can stop.

\r\n

This brought about the word, a lover of women can never be satisfied of women. A lover of money can never be satisfied of money. That's the truth! Only genuine change can occur and it must start from the heart, so the body will be transformed.

\r\n

It takes delivering, decision and discipline, to change that cheating partner of yours. Because no one stops cheating because he or she got into a relationship or get marries.

\r\n

The best as a man, be faithful to your woman; the best as a woman, be faithful to your man. Your partner may cheat on you, please don't pay back by cheating, you are endangering yourself and your image.

\r\n

You can cut the ties, end the relationship — then move on. If you are married, work things out with love, understanding, prayers, and actions.

\r\n

Love is as strong as death, sex is powerful as darkness, and you know light is beautiful. When you love right, in the light of faithfulness and commitment — you will enjoy the peace, happiness and prosperity, it brings. Marriage is another investment I take seriously.

\r\n

I like making marriages to be blissful and work. Don't just enter into relationships or marriage, know that you are making an investment in your future by who you marry, not what you marry. As we focus seriously in business, to make the right decisions that will shape our compound returns. So it is in marriage, choose the right partner to walk with, and you get good high yield compound returns over time, only if you choose the right person for you not by what they are, but by who they are in person. I believe in love.

\r\n

Founder, DIDI-OMAH

\r\n

", "keywords": "", "user_id": "115", "category_id": "27", "image_big": "uploads/images/202509/image_750x_68d3c8d2c1455.jpg", "image_mid": "uploads/images/202509/image_750x415_68d3c8d2ce45a.jpg", "image_small": "uploads/images/202509/image_100x75_68d3c8d2d7f6a.jpg", "image_slider": "uploads/images/202509/image_650x433_68d3c8d2deaf1.jpg", "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "0", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "0", "post_url": null, "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-28 12:25:37", "username": "Didi-Omah Diary", "user_slug": "didiomahdiary", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "88747", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Am I Dating A Witch?", "title_slug": "am-i-dating-a-witch", "title_hash": "009203715e351a70fdb97bfb6452cda4", "summary": "Is she a witch as my friend is telling me? We started dating not long ago. She’s pretty, well-behaved, and looks like a woman who can keep a home. I …", "content": "

Is she a witch as my friend is telling me?

We started dating not long ago. She’s pretty, well-behaved, and looks like a woman who can keep a home. I had to beg her to come to my house because, according to her, it was too soon for her to see my house. When she visited the third time, she agreed to spend the night.

At dawn, I went to pee and saw her eyes were open. I asked, “Can’t you sleep?” She didn’t respond and also didn’t show any sign that she could hear me. I waved my hand over her face and she didn’t blink. I know there are people who sleep with their eyes open, but hers were open so wide for a woman sleeping.

I tapped her to wake up. I shook her. I screamed her name. I checked her breath and she was breathing. I started getting scared. “Is she in a coma?” I shook her body vigorously for several seconds before she snapped out of whatever she was in.

I said, “You scared me. Is that how you sleep?” She asked me, “How do I sleep?” She turned over and began sleeping again. A few seconds later, she was gone.

When I told her the next morning, she said I was lying and that she woke up immediately when I touched her. It happened a second time. Her eyes would be so wide open you could see them in the dark.

I was no longer at ease, so I talked to a friend about it and he said, “You are dating a witch. It’s hard to wake her up because her spirit flies at night and leaves her body behind. Until her spirit comes back, she can’t wake up; that’s why it takes so long for her to wake up.”

I’m not that superstitious, but what this friend told me sounds so true because why would it take vigorous shakes for that long before a person wakes up? Even a person in a coma would be revived if you shook them like that.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
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I don’t bring her to sleep here anymore, and I don’t know how to ask her if she’s a witch. Will she even tell the truth if I ask her? That’s why I’m here asking you. Is it normal? Is there someone here who sleeps like this and can say in all honesty that she/he is not a witch?

—Joe

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Dating, Witch", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "103", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/169269.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/am-i-dating-a-witch/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 10:14:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "88667", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Anti-Abortion Groups To Spend $4.5 Million To Secure Michigan’s U.S. Senate Seat for Republicans", "title_slug": "anti-abortion-groups-to-spend-45-million-to-secure-michigans-us-senate-seat-for-republicans", "title_hash": "f71e530d5d105684424e795e61cfdf74", "summary": "\"Michigan women and families deserve better\" than the presumptive Republican nominee for Senate, said a Michigan Democratic Party official. \nThe post Anti-Abortion Groups To Spend $4.5 Million To Secure Michigan’s U.S. Senate Seat for Republicans appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

A pair of anti-abortion organizations on Sept. 24 announced their plans to pour $4.5 million into field outreach aimed at securing Michigan’s vacant U.S. Senate seat for Republicans in 2026.

Susan B, Anthony Pro-Life America and its partner Women Speak Out PAC said its campaign will target anti-abortion voters who do not consistently vote in the midterm election and persuadable voters in the Lansing, Detroit, and Grand Rapids, Michigan. The effort will include digital advertising, voter mail, and an early voting campaign.

“We’re energized and ready for the next critical chapter in the fight for life,” said Emily Green, a field director for SBA Pro-Life. “The murder of Charlie Kirk—a true champion for the unborn—has only strengthened our resolve. Now more than ever, we’re committed to speaking out with courage. By connecting with voters and winning key elections, we can save more unborn children and support moms.”

The group also led a door-knocking campaign in the 2024 election, which the group says reached 750,000 voters.

“Four Planned Parenthoods in Michigan have closed their doors because we took back the White House and Congress in 2024—and we’re just getting started. America’s premier pro-life field program will complete 1 million voter visits over the next 13 months to build on that momentum and defend and grow our pro-life majority in the U.S. Senate,” the group’s president, Marjorie Dannenfelser, said in a statement.

While a Democratic nominee will not be selected until Michigan’s August primary election, Dannenfelser said that whoever emerges victorious “is going to be an abortion extremist.”

The Democratic slate of candidates includes U.S. Rep. Haley Stevens, Michigan state Sen. Mallory McMorrow, former Wayne County, Michigan Health Director Abdul El-Sayed, and research health specialist Rachel Howard.

Reproductive Freedom For All Michigan slammed the announcement, saying the group was aiming to buy the open Senate seat for an anti-abortion extremist.

“In 2022, Michiganders proudly passed Prop 3 to constitutionally protect access to abortion, making it clear they will not stand for a Senator who will gut their access to reproductive care. We are grateful to Sen. Elissa Slotkin and Sen. Gary Peters for holding the line in Michigan,” Reproductive Freedom for All President and CEO Mini Timmaraju said in a statement.

The Michigan Democratic Party took aim at the presumptive Republican nominee for U.S. Senate, former U.S. Rep. Mike Rogers.

During his 2024 campaign against Slotkin, Rogers said he would honor the state’s decision to protect reproductive rights at the state level. However, Democrats argued Rogers cannot be trusted on reproductive health care, citing his record of opposing abortion while serving in the U.S. House.

“Michigan women and families deserve better than Mike Rogers, who will be beholden to out-of-state special interests trying to strip away their constitutional right to reproductive freedom,” Michigan Democratic Party Chair Curtis Hertel said in a statement.

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This story was originally reported by Kyle Davidson for Michigan Advance. Michigan Advance is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Michigan Advance maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Jon King for questions: info@michiganadvance.com.

The post Anti-Abortion Groups To Spend $4.5 Million To Secure Michigan’s U.S. Senate Seat for Republicans appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Maintaining a garden can be both an enjoyable and rewarding hobby, but it comes with its share of challenges. Many garden enthusiasts, whether seasoned or newcomers, often make common mistakes that can impede growth, waste resources, or even harm the plants they are trying to nurture. Understanding these pitfalls can help gardeners cultivate a healthier and more beautiful landscape while minimizing their effort and costs. Neglecting Soil Quality Soil quality is a fundamental aspect of successful gardening. Unfortunately, many gardeners underestimate the importance of healthy soil. Poor soil can lead to a variety of problems, such as stunted growth, pest infestations, and nutrient deficiencies. Testing the soil for pH levels, nutrient content, and texture is the first step toward establishing a thriving garden. Depending on the results, amendments such as compost, fertilizers, or organic matter may need to be added to achieve optimal conditions. It’s important to consider crop rotation and cover cropping. Planting the same species in the same location year after year can deplete nutrients and allow pests to thrive. By rotating crops and using cover crops during the off-season, homeowners can restore nutrients to the soil and enhance its structure. Neglecting Modern Technology in Gardening Embracing technology […]

The post Common Mistakes to Avoid in Garden Maintenance appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

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I went to the gym recently and the trainer asked us to do squats. I love squats. It’s one of the trainings I find very easy to do, and everyone there knew it, but on this day, I got tired after the second set. I was soldiering through to get to the end, but the gym instructor kept shouting at me, “Keep going! Don’t stop!”

I looked at his face and the shape of the lips he was using to shout at me. I burst out crying and stopped doing the exercise. Everyone stopped, shocked, and looked at me. I picked up my towel and started leaving. The trainer followed. Those I was close with came to stop me from leaving. They all asked what the problem was. The tears I was shedding came from very deep within, and I couldn’t stop to talk.

I raised my hand and asked them to leave me alone. They wouldn’t stop until I muttered, “It’s ok. I’m fine. It’s not anyone’s fault. I remembered something personal and it made me cry.”

They left me, but I don’t think they understood me or even believed me. I’d been scarred by my dad, and to a certain extent my mom, and the exercise that day brought back memories of those days when I was a child.

It wasn’t called ‘squats’ when I was young. It was called “M’aso yɛ din,” meaning “I’m a stubborn child.” It was my father’s favorite punishment anytime I erred. He would pick up a thick cane and stand over me while he watched as I went up and down. When I got tired and stopped midway, he would use the cane on me. The trainer’s voice that day brought back memories of my dad.

I don’t remember my age when it started, but I was very young, so young all I wanted to do was play. My dad wasn’t often in the house, but my mom would record my mistakes on the face of a rock and tell them one after the other to my dad so he would punish me.

The first time my dad introduced squats as a punishment, I broke down the next day. The pain was so much I couldn’t stand on my feet. I thought I’d become crippled. All he said was, “Worse things would happen to you if you keep misbehaving in the house.”

I was scared to make a mistake. Anytime my mom screamed, “When your dad comes, I will tell him,” I became edgy. All happiness eluded me. I would see my dad and my heart would skip several beats. His presence terrorized me. I wished he wasn’t home all the time.

When I got used to squats because they were no longer as painful as they used to be, he added cement blocks. I would hold my left ear with my right hand and my right ear with my left hand and carry a heavy block on my head while I squatted. If the block fell, my dad would give me five lashes and I would start again from scratch.

My mom would be around, laughing and urging my dad on to do worse. The block was my mom’s idea. Later she introduced standing on one leg while I squatted on one leg, all the while carrying a block. That was beast mode. It only meant I was going to get beaten severely. My mom wouldn’t do it to me herself. She would wait for my dad and do it with him.

I was a young boy who only wanted to have fun with friends and make use of my childhood. I have marks in intimate places to show for this abuse. It got to a point where I grew resistant to their hurt. I would do it anyway. What could they do apart from squats? I stole from them because they wouldn’t give me food or money when I went wrong. My mom would come to my class and announce that I was a thief just to shame me in front of my friends.

By the time I completed JSS, they couldn’t control me. I was fighting my mom and threatening her. Anytime she said she would tell my dad about it, I said, “Tell him and you will see what I will do to you when he’s gone.” My dad would come home and beat me. When he was gone, I would take it out on my mom. Sometimes I would take her cloth and sell it just to return the punishment.

My junior sister was about ten years old when I came home and saw her doing squats with my dad standing in front of her and shouting at her. That was the memory that made me cry at the gym. My sister was crying and drooling, but it excited my dad to see her suffer. I rushed to the scene and lifted my sister up. I screamed, “Go! Don’t mind anyone, just run!”

My sister was standing there looking at me while my dad was shouting at me to leave. I held my sister’s hand and pulled her away. My dad, angry and his ego hurt, followed me with a cane and hit my head from behind. The cane ended up hitting my left eye, blinding me for a few seconds. I turned to face my dad, and for the first time, I matched him man to man. My mom was screaming, “Fiifi, do you want to kill your dad?”

He was on the floor while I towered over him. I picked up the cane wanting to hit him with it, but I stopped midway. I carried my sister and left the house with her. My sister went back, but I never went home again. As I write this, I can hear the echoes of my mom’s curses ringing in my ears: “You’ve beaten your dad; you will not last long on this earth. You’ll die a painful death for doing this to the man who raised you.”

I reconciled with my dad when I was thirty years old. I lived with friends and relatives and even lived in houses as a house boy. Those houses treated me better than my own house. They forgave my mistakes and didn’t withhold food and money from me just because I erred. I call it my days in the wilderness. The wilderness felt better than home.

Dad said he had been looking for me. His voice was calm, like a man who had learned lessons from life. He said on the phone, “So you won’t come home until I die?”

I went home, but still not trusting them. I had a car but didn’t drive home. I didn’t want them to attack me spiritually, thinking I’d made it in life. We talked about that day when I went away. Dad apologized to me, saying he thought he was straightening a wayward child. My mom sat there and couldn’t utter a word. When I was leaving, I hugged her.

Today, they expect me to be jolly with them. Dad wants to play when he calls, but I’ve become a brick, impenetrable. Our calls don’t last a minute. We can sit in a room for hours and not say anything to each other. My mom does a monologue all the time when I’m around her. I have nothing to say to her. I don’t hate them, but what they did closed me up, and I find it strange receiving love from them or giving it.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money
\n

Even with my sister, the relationship is like a ghost town, but we force it. We force ourselves to say something to each other. And when we are not able to talk to each other, we understand. We know what we’ve been through and accept where we are now. We know we are doing our best, considering the distance that has existed between us.
\n#MyChildhoodTrauma

—Fiifi

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******

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When our relationship began, Damien opened a shop for me. We both agreed that we would run the business together. But after setting it up, he suddenly restricted me from going there. According to him, “I don’t want my girlfriend to be at the shop for men to make advances at her.”

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After I kept pressuring him, he said he already employed a salesgirl so he didn’t need me there. I was surprised he was hiring people, considering that the business (a POS, gaming, and phone charging centre) was just starting.

Out of stubbornness, I went there. I met the salesgirl. Within a few seconds, he appeared at the shop. While he was standing with me, I saw the girl giving him suspicious looks. She had frowned and was pouting. I wasn’t happy but I didn’t say anything.

I was staying with him for weeks but after what I saw at the shop, I left the next day. The day he came to my place to settle our issues, the girl texted him around 11 p.m., asking how he was doing. I asked why she would text at that hour if nothing was going on. He dismissed my concerns, saying she made a mistake at the shop and maybe that’s why she was texting him. I didn’t buy it but I let it slide.

In March this year, someone set him up at his workplace. It cost us over ₦500,000 to settle the matter. I contributed ₦150,000, while he raised the rest. I was by his side through everything. I fed him, paid for subscriptions, and handled small expenses when he eventually lost his job.

He kept hustling until his fortunes changed. His blockchain money (about $2000) that had been locked for two years was finally released. He called me, sounding excited, as he broke the news. I was happy for him.

To make sure the money doesn’t go to waste, he used part of it to complete 80% of his family’s house. Then he used the rest to set up another shop. This time around too we agreed to run the shop together.

However, he changed again. He became distant, neglected my needs, and was constantly rude to me. Every little thing, he would raise his voice and tell me, “I am the man of the house.”

Oh, but that’s not the worst of it. When he was down, his phone got spoiled. I didn’t have much money but I was able to raise enough money to buy an iPhone 6 for him.

Two weeks after he got money, I saw him using an iPhone 13. I only had a problem when I saw that his salesgirl posted a mirror selfie on WhatsApp holding a phone that looked exactly like the one I had bought for him.

When I asked him about the phone, he said it was at his shop. The next day he even snapped a picture of the phone and sent it to me. Strangely, when I checked the salesgirl’s WhatsApp again, her account was gone—it showed “invite,” like she was not active on WhatsApp.

Now I’m left connecting the dots:

• He restricted me from the shop after hiring her.

• She was texting him at night.

• She had a phone identical to the one I bought him.

• Suddenly her WhatsApp account disappeared the same day I confronted him.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if everything is clear already. I want to believe what I have seen but he keeps denying all my accusations.

If you were in my shoes, would you forgive him if he admitted to giving her the phone?

—Evelyn

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#SB

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If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
\n

After my story was published, I shared the link with most of my family members. I didn’t have any expectations of how they would react but it turned into chaos. Our dormant WhatsApp group suddenly became more active than ever.

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The next morning, my grandmother called me. At first, she was harsh. “What’s going on with you? Are you not grateful for what God has blessed you with?” She scolded me.

I didn’t take it badly. Rather, I let her know some of the comments from the story I shared said our family might be cursed. “I am just looking for answers, Cúcú.”

After a deep sigh, she said, “My mother told me a story when I was growing up. I don’t know if it has anything to do with what we are experiencing but I will share it with you.”

According to her, my great-grandmother once lived in a hut near the path to the forest. There was famine at the time and the only available food was cassava. One day, a group of boys who had not yet gone through their passage rites came through her hut looking for food. They had gone hunting and returned empty-handed.

Instead of giving them food, she drove them away. She didn’t even give them water. Out of hunger and frustration, the boys muttered a string of curses at her. They told her:

“Your back will never carry an uncircumcised boy.”

“Your legs will never be wet from a boy child’s urine.”

“Your hut will never hear the cry of a boy.”

She didn’t take them seriously until she found herself giving birth to only girls. And from the way my grandmother narrated the story, I could tell she didn’t believe that story had any bearing on our lineage.

As for my aunties, they didn’t let me rest when they read the story. Some of them teased me. They said I had too much time on my hands. “If you weren’t idle, you wouldn’t be paying attention to such things. Why don’t you channel all that energy into making more money?”

Others said our lineage never struck them as anything unique for them to be bothered by it. They reminded me that among our Kikuyu tribe, the Agikuyu, there were originally nine daughters of Gikuyu and Mumbi who founded our nine clans. So having only daughters was nothing new under the sun.

Our WhatsApp group chat was a hub of speculations and standpoints. Everyone had something to say.

“It doesn’t matter if we are all women. What a man can do, a woman can do it better,” one of my cousins remarked.

“Come to think of it, science says it is the egg that chooses the sperm. Maybe we are biologically wired for our eggs to resist XY sperms and only accept XX,” said another.

One funny aunty typed, “I am the man of the family. If anyone tries to fight you, come and call me,” and everyone laughed.

My mother didn’t have any stories about why we are all women. All she said was that there is nothing special about men. “We are all human beings, created the same but with different genitals. It’s nothing for you to lose sleep over.”

When I asked her why we couldn’t keep men or have husbands, she told me to focus on myself and my children. “Don’t you know that you have a better life than some married women? That’s something you should be grateful for.”

After talking to my mother, I called my grandmother and asked her the same question about why we didn’t have husbands. She also didn’t seem concerned about it. Rather, she demanded to know why I was worried about such a thing. She even laughed and asked me, “Are you heartbroken by the father of your children? Or is this about money? You need a man to take care of you financially?”

When I went quiet, she blamed my mother for the way I was thinking. She said my mother is a gold digger who raised all her daughters to be like her. “All you people think about is money money money and more money. Maybe that’s why you chase men away.”

That was the end of the conversation. No one in my family seems bothered by the fact that we are all women or that we don’t have husbands. Whether or not there is a generational curse, it’s not a concern to them.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

They say I shouldn’t stress over these things but rather focus on making more money for myself. Well, I went looking for answers and this is what I got.

Maybe my story will be different from theirs. Maybe I will be like all of them. Whatever the case may be, what will be will be. To all the readers who left comments after reading my story, thank you for all your love and support. You gave me the courage to ask questions, and for that, I am grateful!

—Natalie

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One of my exes called me recently, sounding very upset. When I asked what was wrong, she started insulting me. “You have ruined my life, James. And you will pay for it.”

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I was very surprised. This is someone I haven’t spoken to since our break-up. When I saw her call, I wondered which side of my bed I had slept on. Little did I know it was the wrong side.

Even though I knew in my heart that I hadn’t done anything to harm her, the anger with which she spoke got me a bit scared. When I asked why she was insulting me, she went on to rain curses on me.

She accused me of impregnating her when we were together and she had to get rid of it. “That thing is causing me life-threatening health problems,” she screamed.

Our relationship ended nine years ago. There was never a time when we were together that she spoke of a pregnancy. I honestly didn’t even know she went through an “abɔshin”.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

How am I to blame for a pregnancy she never told me existed, let alone the health issues she is facing after she took care of it without my knowledge?

I don’t want to be insensitive to her plight but I know I am not the cause of her situation. Should I be worried that her curses will come to pass? I don’t want my life to be ruined by someone else’s choices.

—James

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I am the middle child of three, and not long ago, we returned home to Ghana. It was my mother, my 13-year-old sister who is autistic and nonverbal, and me. Life with a special needs sibling is hard, but coming home felt like the right decision. We left everything we knew behind, but my dad stayed where we used to live, and now everything is going wrong. Things have been rough for our family, but God has kept us going. We are not thriving, but we survive each day.

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My parents have been married for thirty years. That is three decades of love, promises, struggles, and raising children together. It has never been easy, but thirty years means something. It shows effort, commitment, and a kind of loyalty that should be respected.

But ever since we moved, my mother has changed. It feels like she resents my father, and I do not know why. I do not know if something spiritual is going on or if she is doing it on purpose. Her behaviour is painful to watch. She treats him like he is nothing, speaks to him with no respect, and acts like he does not matter.

I love my father deeply. Everything I do is to make him proud. Every goal I chase has him in mind, and the thought of losing him makes my stomach turn. It feels like I am watching her break him down piece by piece, and I cannot do anything but stand there and witness it.

She talks about divorce all the time. Any small disagreement, and she threatens to leave. When she wakes up, she says she will divorce him. When he sends money, she says she will divorce him. She adds that other men want her and that they would treat her better, as if my father is lucky to have her and should be grateful.

But my dad is a provider. As soon as his salary hits his account, he sends us seventy thousand cedis every month. Before the middle of the month, my mother has already spent it all and starts asking for more. It feels like she wants to show off or live a life that does not match our reality. I keep telling my mom she should use this money to start something for herself. “Open a hair salon or a small shop,” I tell her over and over. But she won’t listen to me, and by the middle of every month, she’s calling my dad asking for more money that he doesn’t have. She spends the money on things she wants, not things we need.

The way she speaks to him, even when asking for money she did not earn, is painful. It hurts me to hear those words because that is the man she married. How do you speak to your husband like that without thinking twice?

What makes it worse is that my siblings do not see anything wrong, and it makes me feel like I am the only one who sees what is happening.

A few weeks ago, something happened that I will never forget. My dad called me and broke down in tears. He said he was tired of the way my mom was behaving. In all my eighteen years, I had never heard my father cry. Hearing him sob over the phone changed something in me. This strong man who raised me had nowhere else to turn but his daughter. That moment will stay with me forever.

Since we moved, my mom has been comparing herself to her unmarried friends. She wants their freedom and their lifestyle, not the life she built with my dad. One day she acts like she loves him, and the next she is so cruel that he ends up in the hospital with high blood pressure.

I will be honest. Her behaviour is starting to make me angry. I do not know if it is hate, but it is a strong and bitter feeling. I am scared of how I feel when I look at her. Sometimes I want to tell my dad to go ahead with the divorce. Let her go. Let her see if all these men she talks about really exist. Let her find out what it feels like when someone does not love her the way my dad does and does not give her everything he has.

But then I think about my little sister, who cannot speak for herself. I think about our family being torn apart even more than it already is. I think about thirty years of marriage ending because things got hard.

What my dad is going through right now is not love. It is pain. After thirty years, he should not have to choose between keeping his family together and keeping himself healthy. No man should have to send all his money to his wife every month just to be insulted, threatened, and pushed to the edge.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Yet here we are, living in different places and hurting in different ways. We survive each day because God helps us, even though things are far from perfect. But some days I wonder if surviving is enough, or if we are just waiting for the pain to catch up with us.

So I ask you, what do you think about what my father is going through? He says it is all for love, but is this really what love looks like?

—Light

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Dad, Cried, for, the, First, Time, Years, Because, What, Mom, Did", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/73024.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-dad-cried-for-the-first-time-in-18-years-because-of-what-my-mom-did/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 09:37:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "88062", "lang_id": "1", "title": "It’s Never Too Late To Be Gay, Featuring Franchesca Ramsey (Podcast)", "title_slug": "its-never-too-late-to-be-gay-featuring-franchesca-ramsey-podcast", "title_hash": "7ef2f5c7a3927d5d0585a6b3e378137d", "summary": "The first episode of Imani Gandy's new podcast, B*itch Listen, explains why it's better to be late than straight.\nThe post It’s Never Too Late To Be Gay, Featuring Franchesca Ramsey (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Turns out the closet wasn’t locked—it was glass all along. Sometimes you just can’t see your way out.

Imani Gandy talks with comedian, actor, and writer Franchesca Ramsey about coming out later in life, visibility, and the joy of saying, “Surprise, bitch, I’m gay.” They also discuss how comedy can be an opening for tougher conversations about race.

Transcript.

The post It’s Never Too Late To Be Gay, Featuring Franchesca Ramsey (Podcast) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"why$ Many modern men protest the need to approach women. They think women should approach them. Yet a billion years of sexual evolution thinks otherwise.

Since I got active on X, I’ve discovered an odd, common refrain that many modern men have when you discuss approaching women.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Men, Have, Approach, Why, Wont, Women, Approach", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "172", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/why-wont-women-approach-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-do-men-have-approach-why-wont-women-approach", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 05:27:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "87623", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Things Men Want More Than Intimacy in Marriage", "title_slug": "10-things-men-want-more-than-intimacy-in-marriage", "title_hash": "c6373996eadfce7656d075ca029a8029", "summary": "People think men are simple. They want love. They want intimacy. End of story. But honestly, if that…", "content": "People think men are simple. They want love. They want intimacy. End of story. But honestly, if that…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, Want, More, Than, Intimacy, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "88", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/marriage.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-things-men-want-more-than-intimacy-in-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 05:27:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "87624", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Forbidden Desires Every Woman Secretly Craved (But Won’t Admit)", "title_slug": "8-forbidden-desires-every-woman-secretly-craved-but-wont-admit", "title_hash": "007432e53e72864ed47d5d549004816f", "summary": "Let’s be honest for a second. Every woman has a list of secret cravings, the kind she doesn’t…", "content": "Let’s be honest for a second. Every woman has a list of secret cravings, the kind she doesn’t…", "keywords": ", Forbidden, Desires, Every, Woman, Secretly, Craved, But, Won’t, Admit", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-25-at-10.12.32-PM.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-forbidden-desires-every-woman-secretly-craved-but-wont-admit/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 05:27:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "87622", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want to Get Intimate With You, And Might Be Looking Elsewhere", "title_slug": "9-reasons-why-he-doesnt-want-to-get-intimate-with-you-and-might-be-looking-elsewhere", "title_hash": "40153198b8bd1348db98356f1b6bae5d", "summary": "It’s a tough feeling, lying next to someone who once couldn’t keep their hands off you, and now…", "content": "It’s a tough feeling, lying next to someone who once couldn’t keep their hands off you, and now…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Why, Doesn’t, Want, Get, Intimate, With, You, And, Might, Looking, Elsewhere", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/not-interested.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/reasons-why-he-doesnt-want-to-get-intimate/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 05:27:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "87620", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Wicked Date Night You’ll Never Forget", "title_slug": "a-wicked-date-night-youll-never-forget", "title_hash": "96dbee89f1c8958424d2a740c98f3e24", "summary": "Ready to get a little wicked with your sweetheart? ", "content": "

Ready to get a little wicked with your sweetheart? ", "keywords": ", Wicked, Date, Night, You’ll, Never, Forget", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "179", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Watermark-Template-Horizontal-21.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/a-wicked-date-night-youll-never-forget/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-26 05:27:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86995", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What You Need to Know About Beard Transplants", "title_slug": "what-you-need-to-know-about-beard-transplants", "title_hash": "4a9c5e3b7c669ea4eee0f0876505b869", "summary": "Dissatisfied With Your Patchy Facial Hair? You Might Want to Read This", "content": "You’ve always wanted a full beard but struggle with patchy growth. You’ve seen pictures of beard transplants online. You may have scoured Reddit threads about beard growth and even researched the costs involved in facial hair transplants — anywhere from about $3,000 to $15,000 depending on your unique needs. \r\nIf this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Allied Market Research data shows that the beard transplant market is booming and expected to grow at a rate of 21.1% a year by 2032. It makes sense when you combine the fact that beards are often seen as a symbol of masculinity with the growing popularity of cosmetic treatments for men.\r\nRELATED: Best Beard Oils\r\nIf you’re thinking about doing a beard transplant, you may be wondering if it’s worth it. You may also have questions around the process and the results. Here’s what you need to know about the procedure, according to hair surgeons.\r\n\r\nHow Beard Transplants Work\r\n\r\nBeard transplants are just like hair transplants, but on your face. Your surgeon harvests donor hair, often from the back of the scalp and sometimes from under the chin, and implants it in the areas where facial hair growth is sparse. Nowadays, the most common technique is follicular unit extraction (FUE), which means that surgeons work with individual follicles instead of a strip of hair. This allows for natural-looking results with minimal scarring. \r\n“As a hair surgeon who performs beard transplants regularly, I can tell you the procedure is surprisingly straightforward for patients,” says Dr. Ross Kopelman, a hair transplant surgeon at Kopelman Hair Restoration. The surgery is performed under local anesthesia. You’ll be awake, but you won’t feel pain. You might feel some pressure or tugging sensations.\r\nWhen implanting hair follicles, your surgeon will make tiny incisions at an angle to emulate the growth of your beard in a downwards direction, according to Dr Mohammed Ditta, lead hair transplant surgeon at Harley Street Hair Transplant Clinics. \r\nThe procedure can often be completed in one session, but it might be split into two depending on the number of grafts needed — this is something to discuss with your surgeon based on your situation.\r\nAs for downtime, Kopelman says that most men are back to work in a day or two. You might experience some redness, swelling and tiny scabs, which usually resolve in about a week. \r\n\r\nPros and Cons of Beard Transplants\r\n\r\nBefore committing to any cosmetic procedure, it’s important to consider its potential benefits and drawbacks. One of the biggest appeals of a beard transplant is the permanent results. That’s right — because you’re using your own hair, once the follicle takes root, your beard will grow for life. \r\nThe other benefit is customization. You can request all sorts of different looks. “I can design anything from subtle sideburns to a full, thick beard,” says Kopelman.\r\nPlus, while self-worth is an inside job, you might enjoy a confidence boost when rocking your new facial hair. \r\nThat said, you have to be pretty committed to the look you choose. Yes, you can shave, but there will be some visible scarring under the hair, according to Ditta. It’s also possible for the donor hair to have a slightly different color and texture than the rest of your facial hair.\r\nFinally, it’s a surgical procedure, so it’s also costly, and there’s always a rare risk of infection. \r\n\r\nBeard Transplants: Results and Maintenance\r\n\r\nNow let’s talk about what to expect once you go home and heal. You won’t see the full effects of the beard transplant until a few months after the fact. “The transplanted hairs fall out after a few weeks, which is completely normal, and then begin to regrow around three to four months after the procedure. By eight to 12 months, most men see the full effect,” according to Kopelman. \r\nIf you choose the right surgeon, that effect can be impressive. “I wish men understood that this is not just about filling in gaps, it is about creating a natural, masculine frame for the face. In my work the artistry matters just as much as the surgery. The angle, direction and density of each graft must mimic natural facial hair growth, and when it is done well the results are virtually undetectable,” adds Kopelman.\r\n\r\nAre You the Right Candidate for a Beard Transplant?\r\n\r\nWondering whether you’re the right candidate for a beard transplant? Consider the look you’re trying to achieve. If you’re going from nearly zero facial hair to a very full beard, you may require multiple surgeries, notes Ditta, and you also want to think long-term. \r\n“Statistics show that by the age of 50, 85% of men will experience some level of hair loss. So when it's a larger beard, the advice is to think about it a bit more because extracting hair from your donor area is depleting resources that could be needed further down the line for a hair transplant,” says Ditta.\r\nBut if you’re healthy and have good donor area hair with strong follicles, you’re likely a good candidate for a beard transplant once you’ve weighed the long-term implications involved. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n How to Choose a Beard Style for Your Face ShapeHow to Maintain Your BeardWhat Your Beard Says About You", "keywords": "What, You, Need, Know, About, Beard, Transplants", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "107", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/hair/what-you-need-to-know-about-beard-transplants/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758719982.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/hair/what-you-need-to-know-about-beard-transplants.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-25 09:28:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86994", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Finger a Girl", "title_slug": "how-to-finger-a-girl", "title_hash": "0e135116a854a81d4555476d4adfa8e4", "summary": "If you're struggling to bring your woman to orgasm, you're not alone. Since every vagina is shaped slightly differently, the moves that get women off vary from person to person, meaning. every woman needs something a little bit different in order to reach the big O. Also, that \"something\" might not expressly involve your dick, since only 12.9 percent of women consistently reach orgasm through penetration alone.\r\nRELATED: Tips for Making Her Orgasm\r\nWhile there's no \"one fingering trick finishes all\" technique, there's definitely some general guidelines that can help steer you in the right direction.\r\nHere's what thousands of women had to say about the precious art of fingering.\r\nIt's More Than Sticking Your Finger In and Out\r\nRemember, it's what's on the outside that counts. Specifically, we're talking about the clit. The kind of \"fingering\" that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing of the outside area around the clit. In fact, that's how most women masturbate because it's what a", "content": "If you're struggling to bring your woman to orgasm, you're not alone. Since every vagina is shaped slightly differently, the moves that get women off vary from person to person, meaning. every woman needs something a little bit different in order to reach the big O. Also, that \"something\" might not expressly involve your dick, since only 12.9 percent of women consistently reach orgasm through penetration alone.\r\nRELATED: Tips for Making Her Orgasm\r\nWhile there's no \"one fingering trick finishes all\" technique, there's definitely some general guidelines that can help steer you in the right direction.\r\nHere's what thousands of women had to say about the precious art of fingering.\r\nIt's More Than Sticking Your Finger In and Out\r\nRemember, it's what's on the outside that counts. Specifically, we're talking about the clit. The kind of \"fingering\" that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing of the outside area around the clit. In fact, that's how most women masturbate because it's what actually feels the best. For the vast majority of women, penetration is nice, but it's kind of like rubbing your balls — pleasant, but not going to make you cum.\r\nDifferent Women Like Different Things\r\nThe guys who think they have \"the move\" are usually worst at giving pleasure. The mentality of \"one move to finish them all\" makes sense to men, since moves like stroking and sucking work for almost all guys, and if there’s lube, just about any rubbing is going to feel good to some degree. But for women, it's truly different strokes for different folks.\r\nThe clit is so sensitive that touch can sometimes feel really uncomfortable or even hurt certain women. So if some move felt really good for your ex-girlfriend, that doesn't mean it'll do the trick for your next girlfriend. A prime example is that some women orgasm almost exclusively through their clitoris, while others prefer a G-spot orgasm. In bed, try experimenting with using different fingers, since some girls might prefer you use a smaller, shorter finger, while others might prefer the middle finger for maximal G-spot stimulation.\r\nMost Agree That 'This One Move' Doesn't Do It\r\nPorn that shows women getting rubbed out typically portrays a hard and fast back and forth motion, commonly known as the \"DJ\" because of how it mimics the spinning of a track. That kind of super fast cadence and pressure directly on the clit only feels good for 1 in 48 women. For the rest, it either doesn't feel great or actually hurts. To put it into perspective, imagine someone taking your dick and rubbing the tip really hard with their palm as fast as they can. It's a sharp painful tickle, and naturally, you want it to stop. For the vast majority of women, it's not a good move, even if women in porn are pretending to like it.\r\nFingering Isn't Just for Foreplay\r\nIt's true that very few women get off by way of penetration alone. In fact, most women need their clit stimulated during intercourse in order to reach orgasm. That means you need to pay attention to your partner's most sensitive part during intercourse if you want her to orgasm. In fact, a common sentiment from women is that the clit gets attention here and there, but most women would prefer to have it touched throughout the act.\r\nStart by Touching Everything Except the Vagina\r\nFor most women, the more anticipation that's built up before touching the vagina, the more aroused they become, providing more pleasure once you do start to touch her down there. The women who participated in the survey said that kisses on the lips, neck, shoulders, and arms usually do the trick, as well as gently, slowly stroking their stomach, legs, and thighs.You can’t go wrong with slow foreplay.\r\nBe a Tease\r\nApproach the crotch area, but keep passing by it as if it’s invisible. One method is called the “fake out.” To do it, you move your fingertip down your partner's body from her neck to her breasts to her stomach, but instead of landing at her crotch, veer down her leg. Then, on the way back up, move your fingertip in another path that misses her crotch, too. These moves build anticipation and help awaken arousal. Many women love this kind of withholding and will eventually move their crotch toward your finger or tongue as it passes by — a good sign that the clit is ready to be touched. The more awake her body is, the more pleasurable it will be when you finally touch her clitoris.\r\nUse the Hood\r\nThe clit has a naturally occurring hood of skin meant to help soften contact since the clit is super sensitive. Staying right on the clit is often pretty painful, especially after extended periods of time, so it's important to mix things up. \r\nTo balance this, most women say that \"layering\" with the hood brings them the right amount of pleasure without the pain that direct contact with the clit can end up facilitating. To try layering, touch the hood, rubbing it so that the pressure you're putting on it makes contact with the clit.\r\nSpread the Wetness\r\nBefore touching the clit directly, most women say they prefer you to spread the wetness from the inside of their vagina. Get it on your finger, and \"paint it\" onto the rest of the lips and clit.\r\nUsing this natural lube makes touching feel smoother, and allows your fingertips to glide and caress instead of pulling or catching on the sensitive skin. Keep in mind, you'll likely have to go back for seconds and thirds of wetness in order to get it well coated. It's also good to note that not all women make a lot of natural lube (even if they're really turned on), so don't be shy about adding some manufactured lube into the mix.\r\nTouch the Clit Lightly\r\nThe most commonly appreciated \"first touch\" of the clit is one that’s feather-light. One woman even compared the initial touch she likes to rubbing honey on a butterfly's wing. Keep your touch delicate and light so that your fingertip isn't even moving the skin, just gliding over it. Remember, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, so proceed gently!\r\nPay Attention to Her Reactions\r\nThe guys who tend to be the best at fingering are the ones who start off gently and then try different moves, while watching and asking for feedback. They also ask questions that don't put their partner in a tough spot. For example, questions like \"Is that good?\" or \"Are you close?\" are not the direction you want to go. Instead, ask questions like \"Faster or slower?\" or \"Higher or lower?\" The answers to these questions will actually give you useful information to make the pleasure better, and keep your ego intact.\r\nTell Her You’re Not in a Rush\r\nOne big factor that prevents women from reaching orgasm is that they have too many concerns running through their head. They're worried that they're taking too long, or that they'll offend their partner if they ask them to change their moves.\r\nThe quickest, easiest thing you can do to up your chances of getting your partner off is assure her that there's no rush. Say how much you're into it, and that it can take as long as it needs to. Also, let her know that there’s no pressure if nothing happens. Many women can't orgasm because they feel like they're going to let their partner down if they don't. If you take that end goal off the table, she's actually more likely to get there.\r\n\r\nThe Best Sex Toys for Fingering\r\n\r\nOne sexy way to take things up a notch? Adding a toy into the mix. Here are a few products to help level up your next finger bang.\r\nAdam & Eve \"Make Me Cum\" Clit Sensitizer\r\n\r\n\r\nYou'd be surprised just how far using the right lube can go when you're looking for an easy way to give your partner more pleasure. This clit-sensitizer lube does wonders when used while fingering. Don’t get too crazy with it, as a little goes a long way. Spread a dime-sized amount on her clit to make her most sensitive part even more stimulated. Pair this formula with the fingering moves and fingering techniques you just learned, and you've got all the tools you need to give her the most incredible finger bang of her life.\r\n\r\n$11.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nThe Screaming O Mini Bullet Vibrator\r\n\r\n\r\nDon’t let this vibrator’s size fool you. It packs a punch and works wonders for easy clit stimulation if your partner needs some extra motion while you're fingering her. Slightly over 2 inches long, this mini pocket vibrator is single speed, battery powered and easy to operate. It's also waterproof, in case you're getting your nasty on in the shower. Not to mention, a waterproof toy makes for easy cleanup once you two are done using it.\r\n$14.95 at Amazon.com\r\nÜberlube Luxury Lube\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for a lube that’ll provide more slip, Überlube is an ideal formula to try. It goes on soft and smooth, and it’s long lasting, meaning less is more. Plus, it’s packed with vitamin E, making it beneficial for whatever skin you’re putting it on. Lubes that get sticky after you've been going at it for a while are pretty much a recipe for lost orgasms, so make sure you're using one that's silicone-based, like this one. Bonus points: Überlube doubles as a massage lube, in case you two want to give each other a good rub down later on.\r\n$31.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nBottom line: The best lovers aren't the ones who can move their fingers a certain way. They're the ones who will go the extra mile to make her feel comfortable enough to give feedback. If you can get your partner talking, telling you how she wants you to touch her and where (the vaginal opening, the outer labia?), that's golden. The most mind-blowing orgasms you dream about are the ones that happen as a result of excellent communication, with a little trial and error throughout.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tWhere and How to Touch Her, Explained\r\n\tHow to Have a Second Round of Sex\r\n\tHow to Master the Woman's G-Spot", "keywords": "How, Finger, Girl", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/how-to-finger-a-girl/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1742308447.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/how-to-finger-a-girl.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-25 09:28:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86843", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Brother Asked About the Price of Rat Poison Because of Our Dad", "title_slug": "my-brother-asked-about-the-price-of-rat-poison-because-of-our-dad", "title_hash": "4251d8e5ff3ac210eead173d51e7cb26", "summary": "I was very young when I noticed the tension between my dad and my mom. It was like a thick darkness you could touch with your bare hands. Dad was …", "content": "

I was very young when I noticed the tension between my dad and my mom. It was like a thick darkness you could touch with your bare hands. Dad was always angry. Mom was always scared. I saw them exchange words often, but I didn’t see them fight until one evening. Dad screamed at me, “Go inside.” I held the hand of my little brother and we hurriedly rushed inside the room.

I heard the sound of slaps. I heard my mom scream. There was a scuffle. My dad threatened my mom with a knife. The fight happened in the kitchen. It was a small kitchen attached to the room we lived in. That was where every fight happened.

I didn’t sleep until my mom entered the room breathing heavily. Instead of sleeping in the bed, she asked me to push over and I did. She lay next to me and my brother and cried the whole night. My dad came in very late. He went to bed without a word.

The next evening, he came back from work with a boy following him. He said, “Korkor, this is Kofi. He’s your brother. He’s going to live with us.”

I looked at my mom’s face and wondered why I was the one receiving the introduction and not her. Her face was serene and indifferent. I nodded my head and my dad took Kofi inside the room. I was still expecting a reaction from my mom, but there was nothing.

I was in class five or so, but Kofi was a year ahead of me so he should be in class six. My junior brother was in class two then. Later, I learned Kofi was my dad’s son he had with another woman.

My mom treated Kofi like the elder that he was. He came first before us in everything. He would even eat before us. If the food left could suffice only one person, it was Kofi who would eat the food. It took a little while, but I came to love Kofi. At first I saw him as competition because his arrival took away my position as the elder child. He was huge and taller than us, so he became our protector outside of the house.

My dad would come home angry and expect food. My mom would complain about money and it would turn into a fight. Within a week, my dad could beat my mom twice. I mean the kind of beating that left a mark on her skin.

One day after school, Kofi asked why dad was always beating mom. I told him I didn’t know. He said, “If we don’t do something, dad will kill her.” I asked what we could do. He answered, “When dad shouts at us to go inside, we shouldn’t. That’s when the fight usually starts. If we stay, he can’t beat her.”

What he said was dangerous, but I loved my mom so much I decided we should do it.

This time around, we stayed too long to hear what they were fighting about. My mom said my dad wouldn’t give money but had money to give to other women. Dad insisted on food. Mom pointed at us and said we’d eaten everything. Dad screamed, “What are you standing there for? Go inside!”

I shivered and started going, but Kofi pulled me. When dad turned and saw us standing there, he threw his hand and Kofi landed on the floor. He shouted, “Didn’t you hear me when I said you should go inside?” I quickly ran inside, but Kofi didn’t come. My dad asked, “Are you going to fight me? Oh, she has poisoned your mind so you can stand against my orders?”

My mom wasn’t beaten that evening. Kofi took the beatings while my mom tried to whisk him away. In the night, mom came to sleep in our middle. She spoke in whispers asking Kofi what came over him. My mom warned him never to do that again, but Kofi answered, “If we don’t do anything, he won’t stop.” My mom answered, “It’s not your fight. Leave it for me.”

You would think what my brother did would change my dad a little, but no. It got so bad my mom would send us away on weekends and come for us on Sunday night. I was always scared of my dad. His presence made me uncomfortable.

My mom started selling rice at night. Looking back, I think it was her way of running away from my dad’s tyranny because who sells rice until dawn? She would feed us in the evening, we would help her carry the rice to the roadside, and come back home. We wouldn’t see her again until the next morning.

One dawn, my dad went to the street and dragged my mom home. She was resisting, so he dragged her on the floor and brought her inside. Mom was crying, fighting him to leave her alone. Dad was like, “What married woman sells until this late? Have you forgotten you have a husband?”

Kwesi was already up and was looking at me. We shared the same room with our parents, but the room was divided with a thick curtain. Their bed was behind the curtain while we slept on the mat in front of the curtain. Dad dragged mom past us to behind the curtain. I could hear the sound of her dress being torn. She was pleading that the kids would hear so dad should stop. He didn’t stop. He raped my mom that night while we were awake.

One day after school, we were both in JSS then, Kofi asked me, “Do you know where they sell rat poison?” “What’s that?” I asked. He answered, “Agric teacher said it’s poisonous and kills if we swallow it. If we buy some and put it in dad’s food, no one will know.” I screamed, “What are you saying? You want dad to die?” He answered, “Before he kills mom.”

I warned him not to do that. He insisted he would save money and buy some. Out of fear, I told my mom about it. She thought I was lying. She called us and asked questions. Kofi was honest, “I want to help you,” he answered. My mom slapped his shoulder and screamed, “You dare not try that. Do you want to have issues with the government? Don’t you know they’ll kill you too if you do that?”

Maybe that was the day she hatched her escape plan. She took me to my grandma and said she would come for me. She took my brother to her sister. I didn’t know what happened to Kofi, but mom never came for us. By the time I realized, I was wearing a new school uniform and attending a new school where my grandma was. I dreamt about my mom every day. I feared dad had finished her.

She reappeared when I completed secondary school. Five years had gone by. She looked like a new creature with a skin I never thought she could own. The tear marks were gone. The sad face was nowhere to be found. She smiled and her eyes glittered. She spent two days with us, went for my brother, and took us away with her. I asked what happened to Kofi and she told me, “I looked for his mother and sent him to her.”

My dad didn’t come after us. He married again and forgot about us. Years later, I reconnected with Kofi. We spoke on the phone all day that day. How he cried when my mom left him there and how he wondered what my mom was up to. He told me my mom went back for him but his mother didn’t allow it, and that broke him to pieces.

When we talked at another time, he said he was working on a connection to travel abroad. He didn’t attend the university after secondary school. If he had come with my mom, my mom would have taken him to school. She had a big shop where she sold bags of rice, oil, and other foodstuff. It would have been hard, but I trust my mom would have pulled it off.

He traveled to the US but kept in touch. He told me our dad called one day and was sounding miserable. I took his number from him so I could call him. I told my mom I had dad’s number and she smiled. Guess what, mom already had his number and was sending him money and food.

I was shocked! She said, “He’s still your dad. Would you be proud to hear your dad steals before he eats or he sleeps in the gutters? I’m doing that because of you.”

Currently, we are all living our lives. I’m comfortable and have a family I’m proud of. I visited the US last year. Kofi did everything to take me there. He’s currently working to get my junior brother to join him.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

My dad? I don’t even know where he is. No one talks about him. He has our numbers but doesn’t call us. He’s currently living with a lady my age because everyone ends up leaving him. Sometimes I wonder how he looks. I wish I could see him and say hello, but it ends as wishes and nothing more. I hope he’s happy.
\n#MyChildhoodTrauma

—Korkor

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******

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I’ve been cohabiting with my partner for almost two years. Last month, I found out he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. “It happened twice,” he confessed. I didn’t feel any better hearing his admission. I have been nothing but loyal to this man. Why would he choose to break me like this? Oh, it hurt very badly. Especially, when I asked myself if the other lady was the reason he cancelled our wedding.

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We had been making plans for almost a year. Everything was set — invitations, venue, everything. Then three weeks to the D-day, he suddenly cancelled our plans without telling me why. I was devastated but he assured me our relationship wasn’t over. He just needed time to put a few things in order. We would have been married in May if he hadn’t pulled the brakes.

I didn’t leave him after that. I am still living with him even though I caught him cheating. He keeps giving me empty promises when it comes to when we will get married. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but I’ve lost all trust in him.

Sometimes I think about forgiving him and pretending it never happened, but the most annoying part is how he protects that girl.

The pictures they took together, which I had downloaded and kept in the Hidden Folder on my phone, he went into the phone and deleted them. He claims there’s no need for me to have those photos because he is no longer seeing her.

All I ask for is proof that indeed, they are no longer together, but he is not able to do that. Instead, he has tightened the security on his phones. It makes me believe he’s still with her, and he is lying about it. Am I not wasting my loyalty on such a man?

When I think about the things I’ve sacrificed for this relationship… I am convinced I should have stayed single and explored the dating field rather than deciding to have a partner.

He tries to make me believe he has changed. He video calls me from work or when he’s in town to keep me updated, but honestly, I can’t trust him until he proves beyond a reasonable doubt that he is no longer cheating.

I am saying this because sometimes when I look at him, I feel he wants to settle down with me. But other times, he looks confused and

unsure of what he really wants. I’ve told him that if he loves that other woman, he should stop wasting my time and go to her.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Our two-year anniversary is coming up in November. I’ve decided that if he still doesn’t seem sure about me by then, I’ll separate from him and give him space to make a clear decision.

In case you are wondering, I am not dependent on him. We’re both working and doing well financially. We live in an apartment and share the expenses equally (50/50). I’m a business owner. So leaving to get my own place is not a problem for me at all. I just want to make sure that I won’t be making a mistake when I finally walk out.

—Talata

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#SB

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I just found out that the man I have been married to for the past two years is cheating on me. We have a child together, so this revelation is extremely painful.

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I didn’t suspect anything until he started coming home late. He always gave the excuse that there was so much work to do at the office. I wanted to believe him but something seemed off. Out of curiosity, I went through his phone and discovered their chat. I saw the girl’s name, searched for her on TikTok, and realised he has been commenting on almost all her videos.

When I confronted him, all he did was shrug nonchalantly and say, “You are the one hurting yourself if you insist on going through my phone. Did I tell you that I don’t love you?”

From all indications, he is not ready to end his relationship with this lady. So I decided to know as much as possible about her.

I once met her in town with a mutual friend of mine. I ignored her, but from her behaviour, it seemed she already knew I am her boyfriend’s wife.

Anyway, this is what I also know about her from my digging. She has a boyfriend she’s been dating for three years. The guy is still in the picture, as well as my husband. I told my husband what I found.

“Tell her to choose between the two of you so she doesn’t contract any disease from that boyfriend for you to pass it on to me,” I demanded.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

He listened to everything I had to say from my investigation but he didn’t seem moved. It’s as though nothing I say or do will make him leave her.

The truth is: I don’t want to leave my marriage. Rather, I am looking for a way to stop loving him so that my heart can finally be at peace. Or if there is something I can do to make him stop dating this side chick, I will gladly do it.

—Favour

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Don’t, Want, Leave, Marriage, For, The, Other, Girl, Take, Over", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "112", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9393.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-dont-want-to-leave-my-marriage-for-the-other-girl-to-take-over/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-25 09:20:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86841", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Girl Who Was My Junior In School Is Now Confusing My Heart", "title_slug": "the-girl-who-was-my-junior-in-school-is-now-confusing-my-heart", "title_hash": "2e0b76cb41812b26785542b8f44ff72e", "summary": "There’s this girl I’ve been friends with for quite some time. We actually attended the same junior high school, although she was my junior back then. During those days, we …", "content": "

There’s this girl I’ve been friends with for quite some time. We actually attended the same junior high school, although she was my junior back then. During those days, we weren’t close at all: just a senior and junior relationship, nothing extraordinary.She wasn’t someone I even talked to much. But a few years ago, she became my friend, and I must admit, she’s been a good one.

The problem is, she knows I like her very much, yet she doesn’t seem to feel the same way. What hurts the most is that sometimes she acts like she’s already my girlfriend. We talk on the phone for hours, about everything and anything. Sometimes it feels like we’re in a relationship, but the moment I bring up the idea of us being together, she changes the mood and finds a way to end the conversation.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Other times, she forgets I exist. I’m left feeling like I’m the only one putting in effort, like I’m the only one hoping. It feels one-sided, and the feeling that I am not loved is agonizing.

Recently, she stopped talking to me just because I told her I liked her and asked her to reconsider. She simply said she was sleepy and wanted to go to bed. This is someone who has always known how I feel about her. I’ve told her, and I’ve been loud about it. I haven’t hidden my feelings, not once.

For the past two weeks, we’ve been talking on the phone consistently, sometimes for over an hour. During those calls, everything feels like we’re dating. She told me she isn’t seeing anyone, and I believed her because we talk almost every day. So I held onto hope. I thought maybe, just maybe, I could win her over.

But just yesterday, I asked her if she had any feelings for me at all, any feelings whatsoever, and she said no. Obviously, the answer hurt me, and I manned up about it. Right now, I feel like I need to cut ties with her because I’m investing time and emotion into something that may never bear fruit. Yet, I still want to keep her as a friend because she’s intelligent and hard-working.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

The problem is, the longer I keep her around, the more my feelings grow. Maybe the saying is true: love grows with distance. But this time, I don’t want to continue. I don’t want her to think I stopped talking to her simply because she didn’t agree to be my girlfriend. At the same time, I don’t want to keep hanging around a woman I care about who will never feel the same way about me. I feel like I’m wasting my time, and it’s draining me.

So now I’m torn. Do I stop talking to her and protect my heart, or do I keep her as a friend and risk falling deeper into something that will never be mine?

—Nelson

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": "The, Girl, Who, Was, Junior, School, Now, Confusing, Heart", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "84", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/17092986.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-girl-who-was-my-junior-in-school-is-now-confusing-my-heart/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-25 09:20:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86840", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Lost My Girlfriend Because Of Her Nosey Friend", "title_slug": "i-lost-my-girlfriend-because-of-her-nosey-friend", "title_hash": "1801831aa05358ec7c147f414ab0145e", "summary": "I can’t believe my beautiful relationship with Ama ended because of a simple misunderstanding. I blame it all on my ex-girlfriend, Lydia. Or better still, Ama’s bestfriend, Doris. I suppose …", "content": "

I can’t believe my beautiful relationship with Ama ended because of a simple misunderstanding. I blame it all on my ex-girlfriend, Lydia. Or better still, Ama’s bestfriend, Doris. I suppose the two ladies are responsible for the untimely end of my love story. This is what happened.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

A few days ago, I was chatting with Ama, when she told me that my ex and her friend were talking in a group chat. How they got to know each other, I have no idea. Regardless, I asked my girlfriend, “What are they talking about?”

From the screenshots she sent me, Doris had asked Lydia questions about her past with me. She asked Lydia if I ever cheated on her. My ex was honest. She told Doris I had eyes for no one else but her, and admitted that she was the one who cheated on me. It would have been fine if she ended there but she didn’t. She added some information that were lies.
\n

I tried to explain my side of the story but my girlfriend wouldn’t listen. She chose to believe my ex over me. To clear the air, I told her, “Add me to your group chat or create another group chat so that I will address the issue in Lydia’s presence.”

The group was created but at the time I was ready to confront Lydia, my girlfriend and her friend were not online. It was just me and my ex. I didn’t want to start talking to her in their absence so I chose to wait. I didn’t hear from them until I dozed off.

When I woke up, I decided to step out and buy some food. Just at that time, Ama came online and texted me. I told her to wait because I was on my way out and couldn’t text while walking.
\n

Unfortunately, on my way, I was pickpocketed and my phone got stolen. Because of that, I couldn’t reach Ama when I got home.

It took two days before I was able to borrow my cousin’s phone and texted her to explain what had happened. Instead of understanding my situation, Ama accused me of disappearing with Lydia and claimed I had gone back to her.

To make matters worse, Doris asked Lydia directly if we were secretly dating again, but Lydia chose to ignore them. I don’t know why she didn’t just say No. Her silence made both Ama and Doris conclude that Lydia and I are secretly back together.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Based on this, Ama has broken up with me. I’ve tried to explain countless times that I never went back to Lydia. I even asked Ama to show me proof of her accusations, but she has none. Instead, she insists I’m hiding things from her.

I feel unheard, unfairly judged, and hurt that Ama has ended our relationship based on false assumptions. How do I get my girl back? I really don’t want to lose her over something that isn’t true. If only her mosey friend didn’t go talking to my ex, none of this would have happened.

—Elvis

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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A new national health data system launched by the Trump administration will dramatically expand corporations’ access to Americans’ medical records.

The system, announced by the White House on July 30, is a digital “ecosystem” that allows patients to opt in to store their health data and make it accessible across different apps and providers. This would allow not only doctors but also apps like Apple Health to directly pull in information from prescriptions, test results, and even fitness data to store in one place.

The system will be maintained and led by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS). More than 60 companies—ranging from tech giants like Google and Amazon to health-care firms like CVS Health and UnitedHealth Group—have already committed to participate by developing the infrastructure and apps for the initiative or by providing patient data. OpenAI, the artificial intelligence company behind ChatGPT, is also slated to contribute, though it’s unclear how, exactly, each company is participating in the new system.

The administration asserts that this initiative will improve patients’ access to health records and foster innovation.

“We’re tearing down digital walls, returning power to patients, and rebuilding a health system that serves the people,” Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said in a July 30 statement.

But the administration’s simultaneous gutting of federal health research funding will undermine those goals. The cuts limit scientists’ ability to conduct large-scale clinical trials, slow the development of new medical treatments, and reduce support for basic public health initiatives like vaccines.

There’s another risk to this tech-forward approach to health, too: data privacy. As an activist and privacy researcher who helps advocate for consumer-centric privacy policies at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), here are the risks I discern in the Trump administration’s new health data system, and some concrete ways to keep health information secure.

Big Tech monetizes consumer health data

Big Tech has a financial interest in getting a hold of consumer health data because that information fuels the advertising that drives these companies’ business models.

Already, insights into users’ reproductive health, medical conditions, or mental health is being drawn from their browsing habits, location data, and app usage, and used to target people with ads for costly medications or fertility treatments. Some advertisers even peddle unproven wellness products to chronically-ill people.

In 2021, users of the period tracking app Flo sued the company after Wall Street Journal reporting revealed that Flo had embedded Facebook software that shared sensitive personal information—like when a user was on their period or marked their intention to become pregnant—with Facebook. The FTC also filed a complaint against Flo, which was settled in 2021.

In August 2025, a California jury found Meta, Facebook’s parent company, liable for violating state privacy laws because it surreptitiously and intentionally collected sensitive people’s reproductive health information from Flo without their consent.

Similarly, Amazon’s 2023 acquisition of the primary care chain One Medical has raised new risks regarding Big Tech’s access to sensitive personal information.

Amazon One Medical pushes patients to sign an agreement giving Amazon access to their complete patient file. And it’s not clear that information is always kept private. A 2024 wrongful death lawsuit alleged that nine Amazon/One Medical employees unlawfully viewed a deceased patient’s medical records after his passing drew media attention.

A legal gap

The Flo and Amazon examples underscore the dangers of trusting corporations with sensitive health information—especially when their core business models depend on monetizing consumer data.

The White House’s new health-care data program would give tech companies unprecedented access to personal health data without providing meaningful new protections for consumers. And HIPAA—the federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act that protects health information shared with doctors, hospitals, and insurers—doesn’t apply once that same information is collected by third-party apps, tech companies, or other entities who are not considered health-care providers.

That means if you enter sensitive data into a fertility tracker or buy vitamins through Amazon, those records aren’t covered by HIPAA protections, even though they can reveal intimate details about your health.

This legal gap creates an opportunity for technology companies to monetize sensitive medical information without sufficient oversight, by using it to target advertising or feed into an artificial intelligence system that develops new health tools.

Companies could analyze health information to target ads, for instance, promoting weight-loss products to someone with obesity-related conditions, exploiting people’s health struggles and reinforcing stigma for monetary gain. Or companies might sell health-related insights to insurers, who could adjust premiums or coverage decisions for those patients based on predicted risks—penalizing the very patients most in need of care.

Widening existing disparities

Beyond the risks to any one individual, the creation of a massive health data-sharing “ecosystem” threatens to deepen systemic harms. For example, data from the program could further normalize and perpetuate discrimination against communities that have historically been the targets of surveillance, such as Black and brown women.

Here’s how that could happen: If tech companies use the data gathered on these communities to train their artificial intelligence systems, these datasets would be skewed by disparities in access to care, quality of treatment, and historical medical bias—because the same communities that have been disproportionately surveilled have also been historically mistreated by the medical system.

As a result, predictive algorithms trained on biased data can misdiagnose, deprioritize, or overlook marginalized patients. This effectively amplifies longstanding inequities.

Users are already seeing targeted ads based on their personal medical information. In 2022, a WIRED report found that a writer using third-party pregnancy tracking apps quickly turned her data into targeted advertising and disinformation. Within minutes of signing up, she got emails from WebMD and Pottery Barn Kids, as well as ads for expensive, discretionary post-birth services like cord blood banking.

Similarly, the Federal Trade Commission fined a telehealth firm called Cerebral more than $7 million in April 2024 for using its patients’ sensitive personal health information for third-party advertising purposes.

The Trump administration’s initiative threatens to accelerate these harms dramatically, scaling up risks that will disproportionately hit the most marginalized.

And consumer health information may not just stay within corporations—it could make its way into the courts.

Big Tech companies have complied with subpoenas and government demands for information about users under criminal or civil investigation, often with little regard for consumer rights or civil liberties. In states where abortion is illegal, law enforcement could use menstrual tracking data, pharmacy records, or digital communications between patients and providers to build criminal cases.

For example, Meta’s Facebook messages were key in prosecuting a Nebraska mother for helping her daughter seek an abortion in 2022.

Even when data remains anonymous, collecting so much information on so many people’s reproductive health and making it broadly available opens the door to abuse.

In the aggregate, that data could be used as evidence to support restrictive political policies, like bans on medication abortion. It could also bolster challenges to contraceptive access by giving lawmakers and interest groups statistical justification to argue that these services are overused, unsafe, or morally objectionable.

LGBTQ+ people could face devastating consequences if sensitive health details, such as their HIV status or history of receiving gender-affirming care, were exposed, too. That information has historically led to discrimination in employment, housing, and even access to care.

The point is: In the hands of a hostile government, what begins as “neutral” medical data can quickly become a weapon.

6 steps to protect your information

Here are some practical steps to protect your health data:

Avoid sharing private health info online: Social media direct messages often collect details that can be shared with law enforcement. Don’t say anything on Facebook or TikTok that you wouldn’t want shared widely.
Use encrypted communication: Sensitive medical discussions, if they have to occur online, should occur over secure, encrypted platforms. Signal, an open-source platform, is safer than WhatsApp, which is owned by Meta. iMessage is end-to-end encrypted only if both users have iPhones.
Exercise your existing data rights: Twenty states have comprehensive consumer privacy laws allowing individuals to access, delete, or transfer their browsing history, social security numbers, and other personal data. In six other states, users have narrower privacy rights, such as opting not to have their data sold to data brokers or advertisers. Consumers living in states with privacy laws can exercise their rights by submitting data subject access requests.
Scrutinize terms of service: Patients should ask how health-care providers and pharmacies may share their data and avoid indiscriminately agreeing to app permissions. Opt out of targeted advertising or sales of data when possible, and read the fine print from any third-party apps or providers.
Limit use of third-party apps: Conduct a digital hygiene assessment of your commonly-used health apps. This can include reviewing all app permissions on your phone, using services like DeleteMe to remove your information from data brokers, reading through apps’ privacy policies (privacy policy checklists online can help), and considering alternatives to apps you use by understanding where your data might go.
Consider offline health tracking: When tracking menstrual cycles or taking pregnancy notes, traditional journals or encrypted digital files might provide greater protection.

Individual caution isn’t a sufficient substitute for systemic shields. But until legislators pass comprehensive federal privacy safeguards and restrict the commercial sale of health information, we’re all responsible for keeping our data safe.

The post Big Tech Is Coming For Your Health Data. Here’s How To Protect Your Information. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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I often joke about being a Meredith Baxter gay. You may remember her as Meredith Baxter Birney, the woman who played Elyse Keaton on Family Ties. She came out as a lesbian in 2009, when she was 62. I don’t know why Baxter is stuck in my mind as the quintessential “coming out later in life” queen. Plenty of people have come out late in life, but I’m firmly Gen X, so somehow she became my northstar of late-stage queerness.

When I finally came out at 50 in 2024, it wasn’t particularly dramatic. It was quiet and overdue. Something inside me had been waiting for years, tapping its foot, wondering when I’d finally be ready to stop pretending. Maybe that’s why I’m writing this column—to elicit a reaction that’s more dramatic than “no shit, Imani.”

Coming out later in life means you’ve probably already got bad knees and sciatica. I certainly do. I can’t drop it low anymore unless there’s a paramedic nearby to hoist me up. I missed the whole glamorous L Word era because, even though I knew I was at least a little gay around the edges, I had no idea what to do about it. I was even living in Los Angeles when The L Word was on the air. I knew all the places I could go if I wanted to spread my gay wings.

But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just kept plodding on and trying to date men. I even considered marrying two different men in my 20s and 30s. And I bless the rains down in Africa that I didn’t, because both marriages would have ended up in disaster.

Sometimes I grieve for the queer Imani who could have been tearing it up in Los Angeles in 2002. But I can’t go back; I can only move forward. And I’m moving forward with an additional identity that colors the way I move through the world.

And on top of that, I’m moving through that world under Trump 2.0.

As a Black woman, I never needed Donald Trump to show me who he was. I clocked him from the jump. Racist, misogynist, wannabe strongman—it was all right there. His first term was terrifying. Not in the politics is messy way, but in the this man will torch democracy if doing so makes him feel powerful way.

But this time hits different. Because now I’m out.

Project 2025’s ‘dark plan’ for LGBTQ+ rights

When Trump was in office the first time, I wasn’t living openly as a queer woman. I fought his administration on reproductive rights, voting rights, immigration, and racial justice in part by highlighting the misinformation and half-truths that are the core features of the conservative effort to impose Christian theocracy on queer people, immigrants, people of color—on basically anyone who doesn’t fit neatly into their straight, white, Christian box.

That’s because I’m a person who deeply believes in justice. Hell, I’ve dedicated my life to reproductive justice even though I’ve never been pregnant. Never had an abortion. (My girlfriend says it’s because I’m extremely empathetic and I hate injustice.)

But I didn’t feel the daily, stomach-clenching fear of watching a government try to erase LGBTQ+ rights while knowing my own life was on the line.

Now I do.

(Imani’s new podcast drops on Sept. 25, 2025. Subscribe to Boom! Lawyered to be the first to hear it.)

Trump’s first term was hardly neutral on queer people. He banned trans people from serving in the military. He rescinded guidance telling schools to protect trans students. His Department of Justice claimed in court that businesses should be able to fire workers just for being gay. He proposed gutting nondiscrimination protections in health care so doctors could refuse to treat trans patients. He appointed judges who seem to pride themselves on being hostile to LGBTQ+ rights.

Now, we’ve got Trump 2.0—and the plan is even darker. His allies wrote it all down in Project 2025, a 900-page blueprint for turning the country into a Christian nationalist theocracy. Project 2025 is about reframing queer identity and sexual expression as obscenity, criminalizing it, and pushing LGBTQ+ people out of public life.

The Supreme Court is already helping this project along, as I wrote back in July. This past term, the Court handed Christian conservatives two major wins: Mahmoud v. Taylor and Free Speech Coalition, Inc. v. Paxton.

In Mahmoud, religious parents in Maryland didn’t want their kids reading age-appropriate LGBTQ+-inclusive books like Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, Prince & Knight, Pride Puppy! These children’s books don’t contain anything graphic or explicit; they just acknowledge that queer families exist.

In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court sided with the parents. Writing for the majority, Justice Samuel Alito said parents should get a heads-up and the chance to opt out of any lessons with LGBTQ+ content “until all appellate review in this case is completed”—a process that could take years.

Alito gussied up his argument as “religious liberty,” arguing that requiring parents to submit their children to instruction that contradicts their religious beliefs constitutes a burden on religious exercise. But let’s be real: It’s a green light for parents to purge classrooms of queer content. Schools under pressure won’t build complex opt-out systems for kids whose parents object to these texts. They’ll just pull the books from classrooms.

Then there’s the Free Speech Coalition case. The Supreme Court upheld a law Texas passed in 2023 requiring age verification to access “sexually explicit” content online. Sounds like it’s about porn, right? But Project 2025 calls for a ban on pornography not just in the good, old-fashioned sense of the word. It expands the definition of porn in a way that can easily be interpreted to cover materials commonly found in a high school library, like books on sexual health, puberty, and information on sexual orientation and identity for LGBTQ+ youth.

To the architects of Project 2025, a book on puberty or a novel with queer characters is basically Hustler magazine.

Put Mahmoud and Free Speech Coalition together, and you see the playbook: Queer identity equals obscenity. Queer books? Obscene. Queer websites? Obscene. Porn? Criminal. Once you collapse all of that into the same bucket, it’s open season on LGBTQ+ people and culture.

This is the blueprint Trump and his allies are running with. Not just another round of chaos, but a coordinated effort to erase queer life—through schools, libraries, the internet, and the courts.

That’s why this second term feels different

It’s not that I didn’t know Trump was dangerous before—I did. But because I’m out now, I feel these attacks land in a new place.

It’s my life. My love. My newly-formed family. My right to be visible without being treated like contraband or pretending that my girlfriend, Portia, is my sister.

Coming out didn’t make Trump more dangerous. It made the danger he presents impossible to intellectualize away.

Straight people can treat this as just another policy debate. Queer people don’t have that luxury. We know our lives and relationships are bargaining chips in a theocracy that Christian nationalists are trying to build one opt-out, one website ban, one court case at a time.

So yeah, Trump’s second term hits different because the target on my back got bigger once I stepped into the light.

And that’s the gut punch: Trump doesn’t just threaten democracy in the abstract now—he threatens the most personal parts of my life.

The post Trump’s Second Term Hits Different Now That I’m Out—Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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President Donald Trump promoted an unproven link between autism and acetaminophen use during pregnancy in a press conference on Sept. 22. Tylenol is “not good,” he said.

In a statement the same day, the FDA announced it would focus on the “autism epidemic” in part by suggesting pregnant people and their providers exercise more caution around the use of the over-the-counter pain-reliever.

Acetaminophen is one of the few pain-relieving drugs known to be safe for use during pregnancy. Doctors warn that stigmatizing pregnant people’s use of Tylenol—as Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has repeatedly done—is “really dangerous.”

Most research refutes the idea that acetaminophen use leads to neurodevelopmental disorders.

“We don’t have any data to show that Tylenol causes autism,” OB-GYN Dr. Bhaskari Burra said in an interview with Rewire News Group partner newsroom The 19th.

The anti-science idea that drugs like Tylenol or vaccines cause autism isn’t new: In 1998, British researcher Andrew Wakefield claimed that the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine caused autism in 12 children. Wakefield’s study was ultimately retracted and he later lost his medical license, but vaccine rates plummeted nonetheless.

The effects were felt for decades. A 2015 study found that parents are less likely to vaccinate the siblings of their autistic children, despite evidence that genetics—not vaccines—play a role in increasing the chance of autism.

Childhood vaccination rates continue to decline today. Nationwide, kindergarten MMR vaccination rates were at 92.5 percent for the 2024-2025 school year, down from 95.2 percent for the 2019-2020 academic year. A 95 percent threshold is needed to achieve herd immunity for measles.

Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Administrator Dr. Mehmet Oz has called autism spectrum disorder “devastating” for children and families. But some advocates find this characterization of autism stigmatizing.

“Autism doesn’t need a cure,” a social worker in Maryland told the New York Times.

Evidence is clear—acetaminophen is a safe, crucial way for pregnant people to stay healthy. Without it, pain and fever may be left untreated and could cause more harm in pregnancy.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists President Steven J. Fleischman said in a Sept. 22 statement that acetaminophen is essential to those who need it. Maternal fever and headaches can be an early sign of preeclampsia—that is, persistent high blood pressure during pregnancy or post-birth that can lead to organ damage and even death of the pregnant person or fetus.

“The conditions people use acetaminophen to treat during pregnancy are far more dangerous than any theoretical risks and can create severe morbidity and mortality for the pregnant person and the fetus,” Fleischman said.

Vaccines provide crucial protection for pregnant people, too.

“Women of reproductive age … certainly are at risk of COVID,” Dr. Georges Benjamin, executive director of the American Public Health Association, said in a previous interview with RNG. “And, in my view, [they] should be vaccinated.”

This article was adapted from a Bluesky thread.

The post Trump Promotes Dubious Link Between Autism and Tylenol Use During Pregnancy. Evidence Says Otherwise. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Turns out the closet wasn’t locked—it was glass all along. Sometimes you just can’t see your way out.

Transcript.

The post It’s Never Too Late To Be Gay, Featuring Franchesca Ramsey appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"how$ When average guys follow up with girls, they either give up too soon or slip into chasing. But stick to these 3 principles, and you can follow up doggedly with girls – and get RESULTS.

All right, here we go: the dogged follow-up article you’ve all been waiting for.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Follow, Doggedly, with, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/how-to-doggedly-follow-up-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-follow-doggedly-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86095", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Intimate Acts That Are Forbidden in the Bible", "title_slug": "10-intimate-acts-that-are-forbidden-in-the-bible", "title_hash": "5d948c87758885e00be5789e71780c28", "summary": "The Bible speaks openly about human relationships and physical closeness. From the Old Testament laws to the teachings…", "content": "The Bible speaks openly about human relationships and physical closeness. From the Old Testament laws to the teachings…", "keywords": ", Intimate, Acts, That, Are, Forbidden, the, Bible", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/10-INTIMATE-ACTS-THAT-ARE-FORBIDDEN-IN-THE-BIBLE-e1758561086960.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-intimate-acts-that-are-forbidden-in-the-bible/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86094", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Beautiful Things the Bible Teaches About Intimacy in Marriage", "title_slug": "7-beautiful-things-the-bible-teaches-about-intimacy-in-marriage", "title_hash": "2d317480ddc619dc2de77788ab2dcc6f", "summary": "The Bible is not just a book of rules and restrictions. It is also a love story, filled…", "content": "The Bible is not just a book of rules and restrictions. It is also a love story, filled…", "keywords": ", Beautiful, Things, the, Bible, Teaches, About, Intimacy, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/bible-thumb-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-beautiful-things-the-bible-teaches-about-intimacy-in-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86093", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Reasons why a man won’t touch you in bed", "title_slug": "8-reasons-why-a-man-wont-touch-you-in-bed", "title_hash": "b531498c17b9eaf8f4537068b6f86939", "summary": "Let’s be honest, when a man stops reaching for you at night, it hurts. The silence between two…", "content": "Let’s be honest, when a man stops reaching for you at night, it hurts. The silence between two…", "keywords": ", Reasons, why, man, won’t, touch, you, bed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-24-at-12.40.09-AM-e1758661941644.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-reasons-why-a-man-wont-touch-you-in-bed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86092", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Things That Happen When You Have Too Much Intimacy", "title_slug": "9-things-that-happen-when-you-have-too-much-intimacy", "title_hash": "e862f7c3836ee860be2279a605c9db9c", "summary": "At first, it feels magical. The spark is alive, the energy is strong, and being close to each…", "content": "At first, it feels magical. The spark is alive, the energy is strong, and being close to each…", "keywords": ", Things, That, Happen, When, You, Have, Too, Much, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/couple-intimacy-e1758662777927.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-things-that-happen-when-you-have-too-much-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86088", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskMen Guy Gear Awards 2025 Best Everyday Carry Options", "title_slug": "askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-everyday-carry-options", "title_hash": "ac44c64b045b388961bad06ed5d410b9", "summary": "Carry These Around and You’ll Be Ready for Anything. These Are AskMen’s Picks for the Top Everyday Carry Items of 2025", "content": "Every guy likes to think that, if stuff ever got real, he’d be ready to step up and prove himself. Up a creek without a paddle? No problem. A truly prepared man can handle whatever life throws his way. And one way to ensure that is by optimizing your everyday carry. \r\nOf course, there’s no such thing as one single ideal EDC list. Every guy’s will look different based on the challenges he can realistically expect to encounter in his day-to-day — and how much he wants to prepare for the unexpected. \r\nTo help you develop your ideal EDC, though, we’ve put together a list of 25 seriously awesome digital and analog gadgets, plus the best bags to carry them around in. \r\nAnd now, please check out the winning everyday carry options from the 2025 AskMen Guy Gear Awards: \r\nEditor’s Note: Because it’s 2025 and AI slop is everywhere online, we wanted to let you know that generative AI and LLMs were not used in the production of the Guy Gear Awards. We were hands-on about it, and quotes directly from our testers are included throughout to give you a sense of how actual human guys feel about this stuff. \r\n\r\nBest EDC Pocket Items\r\n\r\nBest Pocket Knife\r\nBenchmade Custom Barrage\r\n\r\nHumans have been making knives for millennia, and probably wishing they could have something distinctly knife-life before that. They’re hyper useful tools for carving, cutting, sawing, scraping and more. But the market is absolutely flooded with sub-par or overpriced ones. Right now, we’re obsessed with the ultra-customizable Barrage from Benchmade, which features a comfortable and sturdy frame you can personalize in about a thousand different ways to make it truly your own. Check it out at Benchmade.com\r\nBest Multi-Tool\r\nLeatherman Signal Multi-Tool\r\n\r\nThe multi-tool is sort of the knife’s inherent counterpart, designed to pack a dozen different uses into one small space, but with each one still being, you know, good at what it does. It’s an unbelievably hard task to pull off, which is why we recommend sticking with Leatherman, given their success in the space over the course of the past several decades. It boasts 19 tools in one pocket-sized object, including an emergency whistle, bottle opener, fire-starting rod and much more. Check it out at Leatherman.com \r\nBest Wallet\r\nGhurka Classic Wallet\r\n\r\nIt’s no secret that the kids these days (*shakes fist*) are paying for everything with their phones. And if you’re leaning in that direction, vaya con dios, my friend. But we happen to think there’s something to be said for carrying a good, old-fashioned wallet — not to mention not having all of your important items be, well, the same item. The classic-looking Classic from Ghurka is a practical and well-made standout. Check it out at Ghurka.com\r\nBest Slim Wallet\r\nLOJEL Iloj Slim Wallet\r\n\r\nIf you want to split the difference and go with a more minimalistic wallet, we’re big fans of the Iloj from LOJEL, which may help you slim down your EDC somewhat. \r\nOur testers say: “This is the kind of wallet that makes you feel like you'll never need to get a new one. It's sturdy and compact, I love the magnetic closure, and it made me realize I was carrying around so much stuff that didn't need to be in my pocket! An easy upgrade if you're still carrying your old wallet from your early 20s, like I was.”\r\nCheck it out at LOJEL.com\r\nBest Notebook\r\nField Notes Expedition Edition\r\n\r\nAre you one of those guys who never journals? That’s crazy talk. You have all these thoughts every single day and you don’t put them down somewhere? Your future self won’t have anything to look back on and ponder, man! Right now we’re loving the slim, ultra-portable and tough Expedition ones from Field Notes, who are, well, leaders in the notebook field. Slim, both tear-proof and water-proof, and in a bold, eye-catching color that’ll remind you of its presence when you have something to note down.Check it out at Huckberry.com \r\nBest Carabiner\r\nCraighill Coachwhip Carabiner\r\n\r\nIt’s a common misconception that you need to be a lesbian in order to own a carabiner. But while it’s true that our comrades in the fields of being tough and loving women do have a great relationship with carabiners, they look great on men, too… especially this bad boy from up-and-coming EDC pioneers Craighill, whose elegant S-shaped frame is specially designed for easy key access. Check it out at Craighill.co \r\nBest Water Bottle\r\nLifeStraw GO Series 1L Water Filter Bottle\t\t\r\n\r\nOK, sue us, we’re swapping in a somewhat less “everyday carry” bottle here because damn it, it’s cool — and handy. Whether you’re going camping, spending time in locales with less-than-trustworthy water or are just feeling safety-conscious, LifeStraw’s GO Series bottle incorporates a microfilter setup to protect you from bacteria, water-borne parasites and assorted nastiness.\r\nOur testers say: “Makes me feel way safer taking water from taps at campgrounds, for sure. And it feels durable as heck.”\r\nCheck it out at LifeStraw.com \r\nBest Lighter\r\nClean Torch Complete Set\r\n\r\nIf there’s three things we can’t technically support, it’s smoking cigarettes (bad for you and others), smoking cannabis (illegal in many places) and arson (illegal everywhere). Still, we didn’t master fire for nothing, and sometimes it’s nice to have the power of instant flames in your pocket even if your name isn’t Prometheus. \r\nOur testers say: “Really fun to use, it works well and lights up things quickly. I used it to smoke, but also to light up candles for the house or for birthday cake. I love that it charges with a USB cable and not batteries. It definitely has that ‘fun factor’.”\r\nCheck it out at CleanTorch.com \r\n\r\nBest Carry Options\r\n\r\nBest Backpack\r\nYETI Cayo 25L All-Weather Backpack\r\n\r\nIf you’ve checked out any of our past Guy Gear Awards, you may have noticed that we’re big fans of pockets. A good backpack, we would have said, can never have too many pockets and compartments. So it came as a bit of a surprise when we tested out this one and fell in love with it — because it’s a classic in the old mold, where the inside is just one big empty space. A pleasing size and shape, highly water- and weather-resistant, strapped up for easy carrying, super comfortable. A really fun backpack that feels oh-so-Guy Gear. Check it out at Yeti.com \r\nBest Casual Backpack\r\nPeak Design Outdoor Backpack 18L\r\n\r\nThough Peak Design is hardly an outfit we’d characterize as “casual,” they’re so good at making bags that they even crush it when making a more laid-back pack, like this one on the smaller side. \r\nOur testers say: “I wore this for a week straight walking around; it kept surprising me with pockets or features that were useful without me even realizing I was looking for them. The straps are great, it's very comfy. It's durable (I threw it around a lot, and left it on the subway floor constantly) and seems pretty-stain resistant as well. Great bag.”\r\nCheck it out at PeakDesign.com \r\nBest Travel Backpack\r\nForclaz Travel 500 Organizer 40L Backpack\r\n\r\nGoing on a trip most often requires a different class of backpack than just your everyday use. Thankfully, Forclaz have stepped up to the plate with just such a pack. With a spacious 40-liter capacity, suitcase-like internal compartments for dividing your clothes and other necessities, and a padlock-able setup, it’s going to be a new favorite for all the digital nomads (or analog nomads) out there. Check it out at Decathlon.com \r\nBest Modular Backpack \r\nImpetro Gear Backpack Bundle\r\n\r\nCan’t choose between which of the three aforementioned backpacks you wanna own? No sweat, says Impetro — you can grab our “modular backpack system” and feel like you’re owning four different kinds of bags all at the same time. Simply zip on the model you want (they’ve got options designed for hiking, skiing, biking and mountaineering) to their “base unit” and you’re good to go. Check it out at ImpetroGear.com\r\nBest Duffel Bag\r\nWhite Duck Outdoors Filios Canvas Duffel Bag\r\n\r\nGoing out of town for the weekend? You might need a bit more space than one backpack’s worth. Thankfully, the trusty duffel bag has your back… or your side, maybe. \r\nOur testers say: “This thing is durable and very handy — I had this duffel bag in the back of my boyfriend's truck while it was raining and it got beat up a bunch as we were taking it around, it came out without a scratch! The closures and handles feel secure, and definitely make for some trusty transporting.”\r\nCheck it out at WhiteDuckOutdoors.com \r\nBest Cross-Body Bag\r\nJanSport Move Sling \r\n\r\nFor too long, men have felt like their only options for carrying things around are backpacks, briefcases, and pants pockets. No longer! The rise of the cross-body bag has been huge for us. If you need to carry around a water bottle, some assorted EDC knick-knacks and an item related to a daily quest, boom, it’s the cross-body bag’s time to shine. \r\nOur testers say: “This has become my bag for everyday. It's light, unobtrusive, and sleek. Perfect size. The storage compartments and keyring hook are also intuitive and take care of all my needs. If I met a man who made me feel the way this bag does, I’d marry him.”\r\nCheck it out at JanSport.com\r\nBest Messenger Bag\r\nCotopaxi Mente 15L Messenger Bag\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for something that’s a nice midway point between a smaller cross-body bag and a full backpack, the humble messenger bag is at your service. This one from Cotopaxi is an excellent example of the form — sturdy yet lightweight, just the right amount of compartments and pockets, easy to adjust and carry. We’re getting a lot of use out of this. No complaints, no notes, 10/10 bag. Check it out at Cotopaxi.com\r\nBest Portable Cooler\r\nDometic Recon ZL Series Soft Sided Cooler\t\r\n\r\nOK, a cooler is probably not EDC for most people, unless you’re taking your lunch to work on the construction site. However, if moving around cool or temperate comestible goods is a frequent need of yours, look no further than this soft-sided cooler from Dometic. \r\nOur testers say: “Straight up, this thing rocks. I took it camping and we never had a warm beer all weekend. It looks good, it's easy to clean, all the components are well-built. The features, like detachable handle straps, are thoughtful and useful. Strong recommend, I can see this becoming part of my camping kit for years to come.”\r\nCheck it out at Dometic.com \r\n\r\nBest EDC Tech\r\n\r\nBest In-Ear Headphones\r\nBose QuietComfort Ultra Earbuds\r\n\r\nCan we be old for a second? Society got noticeably worse when phones stopped shipping with wired headphones. Now everyone plays their TikToks at full volume in public and we hate it. OK, now that that’s out of our system — don’t be that guy, get yourself a pair of great on-the-go earbuds, like these bad boys from Bose with CustomTune tech that calibrates your audio to your specific ear canal for the best-quality sound. Check it out at Bose.com\r\nBest Over-Ear Headphones\r\nBowers & Wilkins PX7 S3\t\t\r\n\r\nSmaller in-ear buds are great for being out and about, but let’s not overlook the sheer awesomeness of a great pair of cans. Comfortable, gorgeous-looking and boasting sound that’ll knock your existing headphones out of the water, this is a seriously dope pair that’s hard to beat. Check it out at BowersWilkins.com \r\nBest Bone-Conduction Headphones\r\nShokz OpenSwim Pro\r\n\r\nListening to music underwater isn’t just the domain of dreamy scenes in coming-of-age movies where the main character jumps (or is pushed) into a pool. Thanks to the unbelievably cool concept of bone-conduction technology, your headphones can now be closed enough to literally be waterproof while still delivering high-quality audio. \r\nOur testers say: “I’ve wanted to listen to music while swimming for literally years and years. So stoked about these. Sound quality is good, works even better under water, and there's enough storage for quite a few tunes.”\r\nCheck it out at Shokz.com \r\nBest Charging Option\r\nNestout 5000mAh Power Bank\t\r\n\r\nWith phones becoming more and more important for day-to-day function, not to mention when one’s out and about or exploring new terrain, making sure your battery doesn’t die when you’re far from home becomes even more crucial than ever. \r\nOur testers say: “If your phone has an old battery, you're a phone addict, or you’re regularly out of the house for more than half the day, this is a great tool to have with you. You also need to bring your charging cable, but there were many times this product seriously saved my day.”\r\nCheck it out at Nestout.com \r\nBest Portable Video Camera\r\nGoPro Hero12 Black\r\n\r\nWant to do something epic? Only a truly technology-averse person would hate the idea of having cool first-person footage of it. Surprising no one, GoPro remains the first, last, best and perhaps only name in this category. Their Hero12 Black model is a beast both in terms of its physical durability and its digital durability, able to withstand all kinds of weather and chaotic conditions while filming high-quality video for hours at a time. Check it out at GoPro.com\r\n\r\nBest Watches\r\n\r\nBest Analog Watch\r\nHuckberry x Citizen Promaster Tough Watch \r\n\r\nWas inventing the concept of time, with its irretrievable seconds, minutes and hours, a mistake? Perhaps. But damn if a nice watch doesn’t help it go down easier. On our wrists at the moment is this collaborative gem from watchmakers Citizen and male-coded apparel one-stop-shop Huckberry. Pleasing heft, glow-in-the-dark numbers, lovely hue — it’s a grown-man-ass watch that looks equally at home at the campsite, in the boardroom and at the bar.Check it out at Huckberry.com \r\nBest Digital Watch\r\nSuunto CORE\t\r\n\r\nIf you like your watch a little more computery than a classic analog model, but not so computery as a smartwatch, that’s fine — we’ve got just what you need with the CORE from Suunto, which packs in some handy smartwatch-y features in without you having to carry the full weight of the internet on your forearm. \r\nOur testers say: “I used the compass to wander around town and found it easy to set up and use. The barometric sensor was accurate and the storm alarm was cool, it actually saved me from getting soaked once on a long hike.”\r\nCheck it out at Suunto.com \r\nBest Smartwatch\r\nApple Watch Ultra 2\r\n\r\nOK, so they did technically release the Ultra 3 a few weeks ago, but sue us, we haven’t had a chance to test it out yet. So pending that (and in fairness sometimes a new product is worse than the one it’s replacing) we’re giving this award to the Ultra 2 again. If you’re ready for the responsibility of having the web on your wrist, we think there’s genuinely nothing better than this offering from Apple, which gives their regular smartwatch a little dose of extra ruggedness. Check it out at Amazon.com\r\nBest Cool Watch\r\nG-SHOCK GAV01-9A\t\r\n\r\nBy gum, this watch exemplifies what we’re talking about when we talk about Guy Gear. It looks weird, it looks cool, it’ll have people commenting on your wrist, and it’s got some sweet features (even beyond the double pronged latch mechanism and the extra-durable design). Tough, badass, cool — the bright neon lemon-lime colorway of the 9A model is an absolute standout. Check it out at Casio.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCheck Out All 73 Winning Guy Gear Products Here 21 Seriously Sweet Products to Transform Your Space Into the Ultimate Man Cave 27 Cool Pieces of Clothing to Give Your Wardrobe the Turbo-Charging It Deserves", "keywords": "AskMen, Guy, Gear, Awards, 2025, Best, Everyday, Carry, Options", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/tech/askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-everyday-carry-options/guy-gear-awards-2x1-edc-1758633372.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/tech/askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-everyday-carry-options.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86089", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskMen Guy Gear Awards 2025 Best Clothes and Wearables", "title_slug": "askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-clothes-and-wearables", "title_hash": "597d84fb0fb10b61addbcae16a39057f", "summary": "Jumpstart the Hell Out of Your Look With Our Picks for the Top Clothing & Wearables of 2025", "content": "You’re a lot more than just the clothes you wear, it’s true. But what you’re wearing does tell other people about what kind of person you are. \r\nWearing a perfectly tailored suit? You’re probably rich and fashionable. Wearing old and raggedy workout apparel? You’re probably a determined gym rat. Wearing exclusively products from the below list? Well, you’re probably cool as hell. \r\nThat’s because, as we tested out items of clothing for these awards, we prioritized stuff that made us look and feel: cool, badass, and comfortable as hell. After months of trying stuff on and wearing it out (and washing it) we’ve come up with a list of 27 dope pieces of clothing that we think you’ll love too. \r\nAnd now, please check out the winning clothes and wearables from the 2025 AskMen Guy Gear Awards: \r\nEditor’s Note: Because it’s 2025 and AI slop is everywhere online, we wanted to let you know that generative AI and LLMs were not used in the production of the Guy Gear Awards. We were hands-on about it, and quotes directly from our testers are included throughout to give you a sense of how actual human guys feel about this stuff. \r\n\r\nBest Tops\r\n\r\nBest T-Shirt\r\nAlo Yoga Conquer Reform Crewneck Short Sleeve\r\n\r\nThe T-shirt is the atom of American clothing, the simple building block of the wardrobe, the foundation upon which looks are built. Meaning, even if they’re inexpensive and not especially swagged out, a genuinely nice one can start your day off right. This model, from yoga-focused brand Alo, is a delight to wear — soft and breathable but in a way that feels well-constructed as opposed to flimsy.Check it out at AloYoga.com \r\nBest Crewneck Sweatshirt\r\nSunspel Loopback Sweater\r\n\r\nAdd a little bit of heft and a lot of sleeve to your T-shirt and you get the beautiful crewneck sweatshirt. A great one can span the distance between the gym locker and the romantic date night, and this might just be such a sweatshirt. It’s an upscale take on the form by British brand Sunspel that boasts all the little details that make a good sweatshirt great: loopback stitching, a V-stitch insert to keep that neck hole looking good, and rib cuffs for easy sleeve-rolling. Check it out at Sunspel.com\r\nBest Hoodie\r\nIbex Mammoth Full Zip Hoodie\r\n\r\nTake a sweatshirt and give it a little dose of bad-assness and you get the hoodie. Cozy, warm and, crucially, with the ability to cover your head and your torso simultaneously, it’s like if a slanket had street cred. This one, from merino champions Ibex, is a serious hit. \r\nOur testers say: “I was really impressed with this hoodie. It's thick yet thermo-regulating and breathable due to the merino, which has the further benefit of still keeping you warm, even if it gets wet. It's soft, and feels luxurious.”\r\nCheck it out at Ibex.com \r\nBest Heavy Jacket\r\nOverland Classic Sheepskin B-3 Bomber Jacket\r\n\r\nIf it gets cold as hell where you live, you’d be crazy not to have a heavy jacket. The shearling lining on this sweeeet-looking bomber jacket from Overland, we’ll admit, is giving 5% Santa Claus outfit, but the remaining 95% is comprised of “tough guy jacket” and “model at an après-ski-themed outerwear photoshoot” so we can forgive it. Plus, it’s temperature-rated down to 1 degree Fahrenheit. Pretty cool stuff. Check it out at Overland.com \r\nBest Light Jacket\r\nOn Court Jacket\t\r\n\r\nIt’s a truth universally acknowledged that guys look good in jackets. And while the windbreaker might not be what people have in mind when they think of a guy in a cool jacket, the right windbreaker can change a person’s mind. This one, from On, is basically the total package. \r\nOur testers say: “I've been using this jacket as my daily wear these colder summer nights, and even through some light rain. It's the perfect windbreaker: lightweight, compact (rolls up super small), and effective against the weather. It doesn't feel like a sauna when you have it on either.”\r\nCheck it out at On.com \r\nBest Trucker Jacket\r\nWrangler Sherpa Lined Corduroy Trucker Jacket\r\n\r\nYou don’t need to be a trucker to wear or own a trucker jacket. And thank God for that, because they’re basically a magical genie wish for looking 500% cooler instantaneously. This one from Wrangler blends serious comfort with dashing good looks, and for that, we salute it. \r\nOur testers say: “It's super cozy, and I was surprised by that, since I was expecting a jacket, but it feels like a sweater? But that means it's cozy like a sweater but looks mostly like a jacket, which is pretty sick. It's super cozy and I'm really looking forward to stealing it from my boyfriend in the fall months.”\r\nCheck it out at Wrangler.com\r\nBest Chore Jacket\r\nDickies Denim Chore Coat\t\r\n\r\nFrench-style chore coats, long associated with a more European aesthetic, are coming over to North America as of late and we’re here for it. We love the way they communicate a sophisticated, old-school masculinity, and this great one from Dickies is no exception. A strong option for guys who have a little urbane, stylish vibe but still work with their hands — or want to look like they do (we won’t tell). Check it out at Dickies.com \r\nBest Vest\r\nThe North Face 1996 Retro Nuptse Vest\r\n\r\nJackets are great and all, but not everyone lives in colder climes, and sometimes having freer arms is a real treat. Thankfully, the trusty vest exists. Though recent years have shifted vest vibes a little towards the “tech bro” category (OK, a lot towards it), a classic model like the 1996 Retro Nuptse from North Face still has a definite cachet. Plus it’s got a hidden hood in case stuff gets crazy (no hidden arms to turn it into a jacket, though). Check it out at TheNorthFace.com \r\n\r\nBest Bottoms\r\n\r\nBest Sweatpants\r\nPsycho Bunny Levy Essential Fleece Sweatpant\r\n\r\nIs there anything better than pulling on your cozy sweatpants once cooler weather comes around? They’re like the soup season of pants. The sweatpant is a simple concept, but like many simple concepts, lots of people get them all wrong. Not Psycho Bunny, though — the Levy is pretty close to the Platonic form of the ideal pair of sweatpants. Three pockets, drawstring, 100% cotton, no crazy graphics or visual nonsense. Thank you, Psycho Bunny. Check it out at PsychoBunny.com\r\nBest Cargo Pants\r\nAlpha Industries M-65 Pant\t\r\n\r\nCargo pants are the Guy Gear Awards of pants. Tough, verging on badass, but also a bit silly. And you know what? We say, lean into it — the way Alpha Industries did with their sweet M-65 model.\r\nOur testers say: “As a cargo pant, these guys are almost perfect in fit, and, you know, they have a lot of super cool pockets, which is really what you want in a cargo pant. The fit and the silhouette are great, and they're comfy as hell. It has a ton of straps, but they do add to its cool factor in a weird way.”\r\nCheck it out at AlphaIndustries.com \r\nBest Jeans\r\nDUER Tech Fleece Denim \r\n\r\nTo be honest, this is the first time we’ve included jeans in the Guy Gear Awards. The Guy Gear ethos is all about comfort and function, and in our experience, jeans are rarely scoring high on both scales at once. They’re straightforward, relatively accessible pants that look good on most guys. But this pair from DUER, thanks to its injection of fleece interwoven into the denim, allows for great weather-proofing while remaining flexible for comfort. They cracked the code…Check it out at ShopDUER.com \r\nBest Shorts\r\nUNTUCKit Traveler Tech Shorts\r\n\r\nWe really got a kick out of testing these out this summer. If you want a short that’ll look good at the backyard barbecue while still being comfortable enough to chill in before and afterward, you’ve found your match. They’re nice and stretchy without being weird about it, they’re water-repellent and dry easily in case you get a little wet at the BBQ via being thrown in the pool or simply spilling a drink on yourself. Not that that would ever happen to us.Check it out at UNTUCKit.com \r\nBest Active Shorts\r\nGorewear Concurve 5-Inch 2-in-1 Shorts \t\r\n\r\nNot all shorts are great for getting active in, even if they’re great all-purpose shorts. Sometimes, you want ones purpose-built for getting sweaty and nasty in. We’re big fans of this entry from Gorewear, which turns a seeming shortcoming into an advantage. \r\n\r\nOur testers say: “Only one pocket? That’s it??? I can’t bring my phone and my keys and my wallet at the same time? OK, Gorewear Concurve. I’ll play your twisted game. They force you into a minimalist headspace that I really appreciated and that helped me stay in the moment when it came to my workouts.”\r\nCheck it out at Gorewear.com\r\nBest Hybrid Shorts\r\nAll Citizens Titan Shorts + Detachable Pocket \t\r\n\r\nSpeaking of one powerful pocket… Ever wished you could take your shorts into a body of water without worrying about your valuables? Wish no longer, because All Citizens’ Titan Shorts can now be purchased along with a detachable waterproof pocket. What were we just saying about being thrown in the pool? If that’s a concern of yours, these may be for you… Just think how surprised all the other BBQ guests will be when your phone is completely bone dry. Check it out at AllCitizens.com \r\nBest Underwear\r\nBN3TH Pro Ultra Boxer Brief \r\n\r\nWhat were we saying earlier about your T-shirt being the foundation of an outfit? That was all wrong. Your underwear is the real foundation. Slap on a pair of something great — like the Pro Ultra from BN3TH — and your day’s already off to a good start. \r\nOur testers say: “Comfortable, durable, good-looking without being attention-grabbing. These boxer briefs are best-in-class. Makes me want to throw out all my other pairs.”\r\nCheck it out at BN3TH.com \r\n\r\nBest Footwear\r\n\r\nBest Active Sneakers\r\nSaucony Endorphin Speed 5\r\n\r\nGoing for a run? Or at least a high-intensity jaunt of some kind? You’re going to want some sneakers on your feet. Right now we’re really digging the Endorphin Speed 5 from Saucony. Lightweight and comfortable, they’re just straight-up fun to run in, and the citron/lapis colorway is like a little jolt of energy just to look at. Check it out at Saucony.com \r\nBest Casual Sneakers\r\nAllbirds Tree Dasher 2\r\n\r\nWhile active sneakers are an important part of any guy’s rotation, so, too, is the casual sneaker. Sometimes you want to just, you know, kick it. In that context, you can absolutely go back to your workout shoes, but it’s also nice to have a separate pair that puts a bit more emphasis on looks and comfort — like the Tree Dasher 2 from Allbirds. \r\nOur testers say: “I got to test a bunch of sneakers this summer and these are the ones I keep coming back to. Super comfortable, easy to put on, they’re breathable, they look nice but also fun but also cool. 10/10, no notes.”\r\nCheck it out at Allbirds.com \r\nBest Rugged Shoes\r\nMerrell Wrapt Mid Waterproof\r\n\r\nWe took one look at these and went, “Yep, that’s Guy Gear material.” Thankfully, the actual shoes lived up to our expectations, and then some. Putting these on legit feels like you’re in a superhero suit-up montage, and the Quantum Grip sole and the way it wraps around the edges means you can run, jump and boogie wherever and however you like with full confidence that you won’t lose your footing. Check it out at Merrell.com \r\nBest Water Shoes\r\nSalomon Techamphibian 5\r\n\r\nNeed to get your feet wet? Want to dip a toe in first? Some other “stepping into a body of water” metaphor? Consider wearing a pair of Salomon’s Techamphibian 5s while you do it. \r\nOur testers say: “I absolutely love love love these shoes! They are durable and comfortable; I wore them straight out of the box and I didn't end up with any blisters or anything; they handle walking over terrain and wet rocks very well! They also dry quickly in the sun and just look very cool.”\r\nCheck it out at Salomon.com\r\nBest Everyday Boots\r\nBlundstone #2428 Lace Up Boots\t\r\n\r\nWhile Blundstone may be primarily known for their awesome Chelsea boots, this year, we wanted to show some love to the work they’ve put in on their lace-up models. The #2428 is a good, honest boot that won’t try anything funny on you. It’s comfortable, durable, and brings all the high quality of regular laceless Blundstones with all the micro-fit adjustments possible with laces. What’s not to like? Check it out at Blundstone.com\r\nBest Work Boots\r\nWolverine Vantage BOA\r\n\r\nSometimes, you just need some really damn heavy-duty boots. Whether you’re on the job or simply in clomping-around mode, boots designed for non-work purposes simply won’t cut it. If that’s your situation, get yourself a pair of the Vantage BOAs from Wolverine. They’re super comfortable, somehow look sleek and rugged at the same time, and the handy tie-box feature means you’re never bending over to re-tie your laces. Check it out at Wolverine.com \r\nBest Comfy Socks\r\nKashwére Lounge Socks\r\n\r\nDear God are these comfortable! Not really a lot to say here other than, wow, they’re so comfortable. It’s like wearing a cloud??? Why isn’t every pair of socks like this? They’re sooo comfortable. Check it out at Kashwere.com \r\nBest Sandals\r\nTeva Hydratrek\r\n\r\nLots of guys feel like showing off their toes is still somewhat taboo, but strap on a pair of these bad boys, which won a Guy Gear Award last year as well, and you’ll be having a change of heart in short order. \r\nOur testers say: “I wore these sandals at every opportunity I had this summer and they're great! Super comfy — took them on light hikes, sandy and rocky beaches and I even went to some really muddy places while on vacation. They can handle water, clean easily and dry really quick!”\r\nCheck it out at Teva.com \r\n\r\nBest Headwear\r\n\r\nBest Fashion Sunglasses\r\nTom Ford Metal T-Inlay Round Sunglasses\r\n\r\nSunglasses are kind of like the jacket of the face, in that guys can seriously wear the hell out of a pair and look kind of jaw-droppingly good doing it. This pair from Tom Ford has a slight aviator influence to them, but in a refined and elevated way that makes them even cooler than the standard model. \r\nOur testers say: “I've worn them almost every day since I got them. I love them, they get compliments, and they look and feel fashion-forward.”\r\nCheck it out at HarryRosen.com \r\nBest Active Sunglasses\r\nOakley Ellipse\r\n\r\nSunnies are for more than just looking hot, though — they’re also a highly useful addition to your workout gear if you’re ever one of those people getting their sweat on in the great outdoors. While experts might argue these are beginning to horn into the next category somewhat, we really love them for their ability to handle on-court action (or pitch, or track, or… you get the idea). They’re sturdy, protective and, OK, also very cool-looking. Check it out at Oakley.com\r\nBest Cool Sunglasses\r\nMoncler LASZER 0ME8008\r\n\r\nSome sunglasses are for straightforward fashion. Some are for looking cool while you work out or engage in extreme sports. And some sunglasses are just for looking undeniably wild. This is that third category. \r\nOur testers say: “These glasses are really cool. They look super sleek and sporty. The lens tint is amazing, it maintains a lightness while still making you feel like your eyes are protected. When I first got them, every single one of my friends wanted to try them on. They have an absolutely unique look that’s so cool.”\r\nCheck it out at Moncler.com \r\nBest Hat\r\nNew Era Three Looms Floral Cord Fitted\r\n\r\nAhh, the trusty baseball cap. Where would we be without you? You cover bald spots, bed head and bad haircuts alike, promising each of us a day of looking normal when our domes feel anything but. Anyway, call us saps, but every year, New Era drops a new collection that has us do a little double take, and this year it’s this gorgeous floral-themed corduroy concoction co-created with Three Looms. Check it out at NewEraCap.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCheck Out All 73 of Our Winning Guy Gear Products Here21 Seriously Sweet Products to Transform Your Space Into the Ultimate Man Cave25 Awesome Pieces of EDC Kit to Make Sure You’re Ready for Anything Life Throws at You", "keywords": "AskMen, Guy, Gear, Awards, 2025, Best, Clothes, and, Wearables", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "62", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/tech/askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-clothes-and-wearables/guy-gear-awards-2x1-clothes-1758633262.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/tech/askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-clothes-and-wearables.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86090", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskMen Guy Gear Awards 2025 Best Man Cave Essentials", "title_slug": "askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-man-cave-essentials", "title_hash": "e217320b5f705686d758dce5a1946f46", "summary": "Trick Out the Space of Your Dreams With Our Picks for the Top Man Cave Essentials of 2025", "content": "Lots of people think the man cave concept is kind of silly, but not us. Whether you’re a millionaire or a regular guy just struggling to get by, having a space in your home that feels truly designed for your enjoyment is seriously kickass for your mental health. \r\nWhatever that looks like is up to you, of course, but for the Guy Gear Awards, we try to put together a list of sweet products that we think will appeal to lots of guys with a little bit (or a lot) of wow factor, whether that’s how it looks, what it can do, or some combination of the two. \r\nSo whether you’re into gaming, watching movies, listening to music or just kicking back and relaxing, we think this list of man cave essentials has something for just about every guy. \r\nAnd now, please check out the winning man cave essentials from the 2025 AskMen Guy Gear Awards: \r\nEditor’s Note: Because it’s 2025 and AI slop is everywhere online, we wanted to let you know that generative AI and LLMs were not used in the production of the Guy Gear Awards. We were hands-on about it, and quotes directly from our testers are included throughout to give you a sense of how actual human guys feel about this stuff. \r\n\r\nBest Watching Options\r\n\r\nBest TV\r\nHisense U8QG\r\n\r\nAs far as tech goes, the television may have ceded some of its dominance in the 21st century, but your smartphone is never going to be the centerpiece of a room. Whether you’re watching war documentaries, Fight Club or your favorite team (we kid, we kid, men aren’t uni-dimensional) you deserve a seriously great TV in your man cave. The U8QG from Hisense is a marvel of modern engineering that, unlike many so-called smart TVs these days, isn’t a huge hassle to own and operate. Check it out at Amazon.com\r\nBest Projector\r\nBenQ X3100i\r\n\r\nWhile TV is the traditional approach, the tech getting both better and cheaper in recent years has made projectors an enticing alternative. Blowing up your screen to the size of your whole wall allows for home viewing that the vast majority of televisions just can’t match. With 4K ultra HD definition and 4LED high brightness, BenQ’s X3100i model is your new best friend when it comes to gaming and watching your favorites. Check it out at BenQ.com\r\nBest Streaming Stick\r\nGoogle TV Streamer (4K)\r\n\r\nCall us old, but we’re starting to miss cable. One single, simple monthly fee, and all those channels! The streaming era is a bit fraught. We’ve got way more options, sure, but it costs a ton to be subscribed to everything. In any case, while you’re here, you may as well have the best streaming option available. Right now, that’s Google’s TV Streamer stick. \r\nOur testers say: “If you don’t already own one, this will revolutionize your TV-watching experience. Genuinely next-level.”\r\nCheck it out at Google.com \r\nBest Couch\r\nLovesac Sactionals\r\n\r\nNo man cave is complete without a couch. Frankly, a gaming chair and nothing else is a little depressing. Couches tend not to be cheap, but the advantage of Lovesac’s Sactionals concept is that you can buy a small one now and simply expand it later by adding components. The fully modular approach also means if your budget is big, your couch can dream just as big to match it — plus lots of cool add-ons like in-seat charging, sound and more. Check it out at Lovesac.com\r\nBest Recliner\r\nLa-Z-Boy James Walnut Leather Power Headrest Rocker Recliner\r\n\r\nOnce you’ve got your couch sorted, if you’ve got enough scratch, you might start looking into add-ons. That’s where the recliner comes in, and, as just about everyone not currently located under a rock knows, La-Z-Boy is the first and last name in recliners. There’s not really any bad choices to make on their site, but for our money, the James is the model you want to really capture the old-school classy vibes of the platonic Man Cave form. Check it out a La-Z-Boy.com\r\n\r\nBest Listening Options\r\n\r\nBest Speaker\r\nBowers & Wilkins Zeppelin Pro\r\n\r\nBy God, just look at this thing. The sound is amazing, and it’s a conversation piece that will give you a little thrill just looking at it, while wowing anyone lucky enough to be invited into your man cave. It’s got its own spotlight for a subtle touch mood lighting, and, again, it’s shaped like a zeppelin. A beautiful, sonically amazing zeppelin with gorgeous audio and a proprietary mobile app. Yes, you can play Led Zeppelin through an actual lead-colored zeppelin. If that’s not Guy Gear, we don’t know what is. Check it out at BowersWilkins.com\r\nBest Portable Speaker\r\nUltimate Ears Everboom\r\n\r\nAs with another winner on this list, (we’ll get to that later), sometimes portable is better than stationary. While you may lose a few advantages that are unique to possessions intended to stay put, you gain the possibility to take the show on the road. The Everboom from Ultimate Ears took home this category last year, and for good reason. \r\nOur testers say: “The sound is surround and has great range. It's easy to use, quick to charge, and with 20 hours of play time, can keep going all night long, and well into the next day, too.”\r\nCheck it out at UltimateEars.com \r\nBest Record Player\r\nPro-Ject Debut Carbon Evo\r\n\r\nIf the man cave vibe is all about conjuring up expert craftsmanship, well, it’s no surprise that lots of guys will want theirs to have a turntable in it. After all, it’s true what they say: Vinyl really does sound better. This gorgeous number from Pro-Ject looks incredible, sounds incredible and is also really easy and fun to use. Plus, its high-tech feet give you a stability most people could only dream of, meaning you can dance as hard as you want without making the record skip. Check it out at Amazon.com \r\nBest Subwoofer\r\nREL Acoustics Classic 99\r\n\r\nIs it hackneyed to say “By God, just look at this thing” a second time in just the Best Listening Options section? Well, sue us. REL Acoustic’s Classic 99 subwoofer is a jaw-droppingly gorgeous piece of hardware that will class up just about any man cave. With its gorgeous walnut veneer, it’s easy to mistake it for some kind of heirloom side-table — until you hear what comes out of its 450-watt amp. Check it out at REL.net \r\nBest Soundbar\r\nSonos Arc Ultra\r\n\r\nNo matter how good your picture is, if the sound isn’t up to par, your watching experience won’t be peak. The Arc Ultra soundbar from Sonos can put those worries to bed, though. It boasts a whack of top-of-the-line features like voice control, Dolby Atmos and Apple Airplay 2, as well as genuinely incredible sound that’ll turn your viewing experience into a genuine listening experience, too. Check it out at Sonos.com\r\n\r\nBest Ambiance Options\r\n\r\nBest Man Cave Decoration\r\nThe Ultimate Guide to Rebuilding Civilization\r\n\r\nThe modern man cave may at times skew more in the directions of gaming and binge watching than reading leather-bound books while sipping a Scotch. But we do think that owning (and reading) books is a noble pursuit. And we’re obsessed with this one, which attempts (surprisingly successfully) to boil down all the most crucial human knowledge for surviving and thriving into a large coffee-table picture book. You don’t need to be a prepper to find this thing cool — or handy. Check it out at HowToRebuildCivilization.com \r\nBest Man Cave Lighting\r\nGlobe Electric Griffith 3-Light Faux Wood Track Light\r\n\r\nGood lighting is a surprisingly overlooked aspect of interior design for a lot of guys, who settle for run-of-the-mill fixtures and lightbulbs. This bad boy from Globe Electric kills two birds with one stone on that front, mixing in a seriously dapper-looking set of hardware with their awesome smart bulbs that allow for immense amounts of control over your lighting. You might just feel like a kid again (because you can set your man cave up to look like a high-school dance with all kinds of funky colors). Check it out at Globe-Electric.com \r\n\r\nBest Gaming Options\r\n\r\nBest Console\r\nPlayStation PS5 Pro\r\n\r\nLook, if you’re going to be spending a lot of time with a product, you kind of owe it to yourself to go for the best, right? And for our money, the best is PlayStation’s PS5 Pro model. \r\nOur testers say: “I grew up without a console and it always made me feel less than the other kids. Getting to test this out was a dream come true, and it seriously blew me away at every turn. You can tell how much love and intelligence went into making this an ultimate gaming machine.”\r\nCheck it out at PlayStation.com \r\nBest Gaming Keyboard\r\nRazer BlackWidow V4 Pro 75%\r\n\r\nWe were going to say this is the perfect fit for all the keyboard warriors out there, but apparently that’s not a term for someone who plays war games using their keyboard. The more you know! In any case, we’re obsessed with the BlackWidow V4 Pro 75% from Razer. It’s got a socketed PCB for enhanced ease of hot-swap-ability, which is a nice touch to go along with its incredible feel, tons of bells and whistles and the fact that it’s frankly gorgeous. Check it out at Razer.com \r\nBest Gaming Monitor\r\nSamsung Odyssey OLED G9\r\n\r\nYou know what? Screw flat, rectangular monitors. Yeah, we said it. We’re obsessed with the curvaceous beauty that is Samsung’s Odyssey OLED G9. With a jaw-dropping 49-inch, 32:9 screen that’s curved at the sides to produce a seriously immersive gaming experience (without the sweaty-face aspect of VR headsets), this is top-of-the-line material. Essentially its only drawback is the price. Which, no offense to the competition, but that’s the kind of tagline that snags one a Guy Gear Award. Happy gaming, gents. Check it out at Samsung.com\r\nBest Gaming Mouse\r\n8BitDo Retro R8 Mouse\r\n\r\nFar too common are the stories of people developing carpal tunnel syndrome or similar physical afflictions due to poor mouse setup. Don’t be one of those people! Even more common? Guys with really boring computer mice. Do yourself a favor and ante up to 8BitDo’s Retro R8, which in addition to looking super cool (and coming with a seriously slick stand) also features programmable buttons and a whopping 4K polling rate for extra precise clickery. Check it out at Amazon.com \r\nBest Gaming Chair\r\nVari ComfortFlex Office Chair\r\n\r\nControversial, perhaps, given we’re living for the first time in history where fully dedicated gamer chairs exist (we think) but their aesthetics are sometimes, well, lacking. Ever wanted a chair that was great for gaming but didn’t also scream “I’ve put up five-digit hours on video games” to anyone who looked at it? If so, the ComfortFlex from Vari is for you. \r\nOur testers say: “This chair has every possible thing you can adjust to make you feel just right, which I appreciate as a short person. I work from home five days a week and play PC games more than a few hours a week so this has been a very welcome change to my life and made my back happier!”\r\nCheck it out at Vari.com\r\n\r\nBest Refreshments Options\r\n\r\nBest Mini-Fridge\r\nDometic CFX5\r\n\r\nLook, sure, you could get a regular-degular mini fridge. Or, if you’re smart, you could get a kick-ass cooler like Dometic’s CFX5, which boasts most of the advantages of a mini-fridge (minus the vertical aspect) and is also designed to be portable. With 25L capacity and 75-degree temperature range, it’ll keep your man cave beverages cold, and be ready in an instant next time you go camping or roughing it.\r\nOur testers say: “This thing is built like a tank. I might just replace my go bag with it. Full of clever design details”\r\nCheck it out at Dometic.com \r\nBest Wine Opener\r\nCraighill Best Wine Key\r\n\r\nAdmittedly wine isn’t the most man cave-coded alcoholic beverage (that’s whiskey, obviously). Still, wine is and remains a classy drink with a long and storied history, and the classiest bottles have corks, not screw-tops. Luckily for you, there’s Craighill’s Best Wine Key, tortoiseshell edition. Besides being drop-dead gorgeous, it’s also super easy to use and makes opening a bottle both easy and cool, the kind of product that you get excited to whip out and show your friends. Check it out at Craighill.co \r\nBest Drinking Glasses\r\nDragon Glassware Yellowstone Barware Gift Set\r\n\r\nNothing says classy like drinking out of a bottle. Said no one ever. If you’re going to have a proper man cave with some refreshments on offer, you need some glasses to drink them from and/or serve them in. Enter the Yellowstone Barware set from Dragon Glassware. \r\nOur testers say: “Really cool product, got a lot of use out of it. Especially the cubes and the glass which I've used to drink throughout the summer. The items are easy to wash, and the flask has that ‘cool’ factor… I actually got comments about it.”\r\nCheck it out at DragonGlassware.com \r\nBest Whiskey Decanter\r\nWhiskey Peaks Denali Decanter\r\n\r\nIf you’ve checked out the Guy Gear awards in 2023 or 2024, maybe you knew this was coming. Sorry, not sorry, but Whiskey Peaks takes this award again. As noted, whiskey is the man cave beverage (in our humble opinion) and a nice decanter allows you to seriously class up the joint (not least because it means you can store cheaper whiskeys without certain low-rent labels all over the place). This bad boy remains our favorite for obvious reasons — it’s beautiful without being too showy about it. Check it out at Huckberry.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nCheck Out All 73 Winners of This Year's Guy Gear Awards \t25 Awesome Pieces of EDC Kit to Make Sure You’re Ready for Anything Life Throws at You 27 Seriously Cool Pieces of Clothing to Give Your Wardrobe the Turbo-Charging It Deserves", "keywords": "AskMen, Guy, Gear, Awards, 2025, Best, Man, Cave, Essentials", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "61", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/tech/askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-man-cave-essentials/guy-gear-awards-2x1-mancave-1758632944.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/tech/askmen-guy-gear-awards-2025-best-man-cave-essentials.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "86091", "lang_id": "1", "title": "A Look at Habit Tracking: What It Is, Tips, and Benefits", "title_slug": "a-look-at-habit-tracking-what-it-is-tips-and-benefits", "title_hash": "11728f516f2f8ba65f5198e9f21cf65e", "summary": "How a Dose of Accountability Can Transform Your Life for the Better", "content": "What gets measured gets improved is the whole idea behind habit tracking. If you’ve ever struggled with implementing a new habit, from drinking more water to getting eight hours of sleep, tracking your habits may just be what you need to stay consistent. \r\n“Consistently doing a particular task enables people to get good at it,\" says Pareen Sehat, Registered Clinical Counselor at Well Beings Counseling. \"Most people complain about not being able to commit to a hobby due to lack of time. Habit tracking helps people make time for a hobby or activity.\"\r\nIf you decide to explore habit tracking, our experts advise “linchpin habits” as the best choice for implementation.\r\n“These are habits which have ripple effects throughout your day, making it easy for you to change other areas of behavior,” says Sean Klein, Co-Founder of Programme, an app that algorithmically creates a strength program for you based on your ability, exact equipment and time available. “The most important linchpin habits are your sleep and exercise habits. If you can focus on nailing these two habits early on, it will be dramatically easier to change your habits in the future.” \r\nRELATED: How the Fittest Men Set Health & Fitness Goals\r\nHere is everything you need to know about leveraging habit tracking to improve all areas of your life. \r\n\r\nAn Explanation of Habit Tracking\r\n\r\nMost of your behaviors are habitual. Just like brushing your teeth, there are things you do without even thinking about them. Habit tracking is about being intentional about new behaviors and aware of them, whether you’re adding a behavior or removing one. \r\n“Habit tracking is a way to measure the duration of a particular activity,\" says Sehat. \"Habit tracking can be done by marking a calendar, keeping a checklist, using planners or daily journals.\"\r\nYou may write down your workouts on a calendar every time you complete one, or you may track how many glasses of water you’ve consumed on a check list. The point is to choose a habit and measure it instead of performing it automatically. \r\nRELATED: 100 Tough Things Every Guy Should Do\r\n“Habits are behaviors that we repeatedly do without much thought or intention. Habit tracking is the practice of tracking behaviors you consider to be habits,” notes Klein. \r\n\r\nBenefits of Habit Tracking\r\n\r\nHabit tracking might sound a bit tedious at first, but the compelling benefits make up for the extra steps. When you change your behavior, you change your life.\r\nFor instance, revamping your health and fitness routine will make you feel stronger and more confident, which can have a positive ripple effect on your career and relationships. Having better sleep hygiene will improve your mood, reduce stress, and have you show up as a more positive, energized version of yourself in all areas of your life, too. \r\n“Habit tracking is an effective way to measure progress and stay motivated. Habit tracking assists you in tracking and sustaining a habit,\" says Sehat. \"This simple activity influences you to become a better version of yourself.\"\r\nAs for Klein, he says the biggest benefit to come out of habit tracking is \"behavior change.\"\r\n“Once you start to see an objective view of your behavior, it's much easier to make alterations to it,\" he explains. \"Without data, we tend to give very poor self reports on things like sleep and exercise.” \r\n\r\nTips for Properly Tracking Habits\r\n\r\nTracking your habits is a habit in itself. If you keep the following tips in mind for successfully implementing habit tracking, you'll reap the life-changing benefits in the process. \r\nSehat recommends starting by using your calendar and scheduling blocks on it as a straightforward visual cue. There are habit tracking apps such as Habititca, which gamifies the whole process, or specific journals such as The Bullet Journal, but starting simple is a good game plan until you get in the habit of tracking habits. \r\n“Do not feel guilty if you forget to track your habit,\" notes Sehat. \"Rather, encourage yourself to start again. If you are new to habit tracking, start with small things like drinking eight glasses of water every day or reading one page per day. The sense of accomplishment will encourage you to stick to your habit.” \r\nKlein agrees, suggesting for men to \"pick what they think will be their linchpin habits.\r\n\"Only pick one or two behaviors you want to perfect that you think will be the foundation of future behavior change,\" he adds. \"Trying to implement too many changes at once will make it too hard and too complex to stick to.” \r\nIf you love data and charts, you can geek out by using Excel or Notion, a highly customizable project-management app that allows you to create dashboards, to set up your own habit tracker.\r\n“Check out Red Gregory's habit-tracking notion template if you're feeling extra nerdy,” recommends Klein. “Having a visual representation of your habits will motivate you to stick to them that much more, making these tracking tools very beneficial.” \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\t20 Different Ways to Find Love\r\n\tHow to Set Yourself Up for Fitness Success\r\n\tHow to Meditate ", "keywords": ", Look, Habit, Tracking:, What, Tips, and, Benefits", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/career_money/self_improvement/a-look-at-habit-tracking-what-it-is-tips-and-benefits/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758564427.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/career_money/self_improvement/a-look-at-habit-tracking-what-it-is-tips-and-benefits.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 05:00:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85938", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Changed When I Wouldn’t Give Him The Cookie", "title_slug": "he-changed-when-i-wouldnt-give-him-the-cookie", "title_hash": "ee144ec045c157467de96ff3dd760ce0", "summary": "Weddings have a way of filling you with love hormones. I don’t know how to call them but watching two people making a commitment to love each other forever will …", "content": "

Weddings have a way of filling you with love hormones. I don’t know how to call them but watching two people making a commitment to love each other forever will make you desire to have a beautiful love story of your own. Maybe that’s why when strangers meet at weddings, they bond easily. It was like that with me and Kwei when we met at one of my friends’ wedding six months ago.

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We had just met but we got along as well as two old friends. We spoke freely and laughed easily with each other. At the end of the wedding, he gave me his phone and said, Dial your number on it. I want to keep talking to you.”

I enjoyed talking to him. Getting to know him felt like the slow unravelling of a kindred spirit. We had so much in common. The connection from cosmic. Nonetheless, I have been burned in the past. So though the feeling with him was good, I was sure to keep my emotions in check.

Three months down the line, he asked me to be his girlfriend. “It’s about time,” I thought as I said yes. We did a lot of fun things together. The only thing I couldn’t do was give my body to him. I can’t explain it but something always felt off whenever he wanted us to get intimate. So I always turned him down.

Last month, during the Homowo festival, I went over to his place. He was all hot and bothered. He was all over me, trying to go all the way. I tried but in the end, I pushed him away and said, “I can’t. I am sorry.”

He said No problem. That was the beginning of our problems. He reduced communication with me when I left his place—fewer calls, no replies to my messages, and sometimes when I called, his line would be busy the whole day.

Eventually, I stopped trying to reach out to him.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Just yesterday, he called me. When I picked up he said, “Can we meet up anytime soon? I miss you.”

Truth be told, I really love this guy, but I don’t think we can go back to what we were. His behaviour has changed the way I see our relationship. I want to know if I am overreacting or if I am doing the right thing by refusing to go back to him.

—Queen

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", "keywords": ", Changed, When, Wouldn’t, Give, Him, The, Cookie", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9334.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-changed-when-i-wouldnt-give-him-the-cookie/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 04:54:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85936", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Man I Am Supposed To Do Life With Is Doing Another Woman", "title_slug": "the-man-i-am-supposed-to-do-life-with-is-doing-another-woman", "title_hash": "fd06a40bbf84f623103bb15360df6174", "summary": "The way I envisioned my life when I was growing up did not involve bouncing from one relationship to the other. That’s why I didn’t involve myself in boyfriend-girlfriend affairs …", "content": "

The way I envisioned my life when I was growing up did not involve bouncing from one relationship to the other. That’s why I didn’t involve myself in boyfriend-girlfriend affairs when I was in JHS and high school. I wanted the first man I date to be the man I marry. Besides, I had a difficult life. I was more interested in raising money to pay school fees than spending time chasing love.

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By and by, I made it to college. Because I didn’t have much of a social life when I was younger, I felt overwhelmed by the tertiary school scene. I couldn’t quite fit in or make friends. So I mostly kept to myself until I reached level 300. That was when I made my first male friend.

He showed me care and attention, something I didn’t know much of. He was always present when I needed him. He became my confidant and study partner. The closeness we shared stirred up feelings in my heart for him. By the time we got to our final year, we were dating.

The relationship started off sweetly. The fact that we were friends first made it easier for us to bond as romantic partners. All along, I thought I was the only woman in his life. Boy, was I wrong?

I found out in our second semester that he had another girlfriend. He didn’t admit it when I confronted him. Rather, he made it look like I was accusing him of things that were not true. “Why are you so insecure? There’s no one in my life but you.”

He said the lady was just a friend and that they were just close. He even gave me her number and told me to call her if I didn’t believe him.

Maybe he didn’t expect me to call but I did. I didn’t want to trust him blindly and find out in the end that I was being played. Who better to tell me the truth than the “other” woman. That’s what I thought. She confirmed his story. She told me they were friends and nothing else. I believed her.

A few months later, I stumbled upon their chats and got to know that she lied to cover his lies. They were more than friends. Once again he denied it but I was relentless. I pushed and probed until he admitted that he had been with the lady since 2017.

Just like us, they were friends who fell in love. However, her parents said she cannot marry a man from Volta Region. Their relationship hasn’t been right since then. They are not officially together, that’s what he said, but from what I saw, they are not over either.

The problem now is that we all live in the same town. This lady still visits him, sleeps over at his place, and even wears his clothes. In one of their conversations she was telling him she doesn’t feel at peace with what they have because she has to pretend she’s just a friend whenever she visits him.

We are done with school now, and I am doing my national service. I bury myself in work to try and forget about him but I’m struggling. He is my first love so it’s making it hard for me to move on from him.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

When we started this relationship, I thought he was the man I would be with forever. Someone I was going to hustle with and build a future together. Now I feel very lost.

I don’t have any father figure to turn to in this difficult time. That’s why I’m here looking for guidance and comfort. I need someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay.

—Getty

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", "keywords": "The, Man, Supposed, Life, With, Doing, Another, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9344.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-man-i-am-supposed-to-do-life-with-is-doing-another-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 04:54:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85937", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When I Caught My Sister Having an Affair With My Husband, My Mom Said Sisters Can Share", "title_slug": "when-i-caught-my-sister-having-an-affair-with-my-husband-my-mom-said-sisters-can-share", "title_hash": "473c9142aaa65fd9f63b7073b1910e7a", "summary": "I grew up in an extended family. My parents separated when I was four, and my mother, unable to raise me alone in the city, took me to the village …", "content": "

I grew up in an extended family. My parents separated when I was four, and my mother, unable to raise me alone in the city, took me to the village and left me with her elder brother and his family. From that moment on, my uncle became the only father I knew, and his wife became my mother in every way that mattered. They treated me as one of their own. My cousins were my siblings: five older than me, and a last-born who arrived when I was six. That was my family. That was my world.

I grew up, finished high school, got into university, graduated, found a job, and settled down. By 25, I had a stable career, was engaged, and was expecting my first child. Life was moving fast and in the right direction. But not for everyone. Most of my cousins dropped out of school early. The girls got pregnant young. It hurt me deeply, so I buried myself in books and made it my mission to beat poverty. I also took it upon myself to mentor the youngest, the only one younger than me. I wanted her to have a different story.

She was 19 when she came to live with me in the city. I had just gotten married and had my first child, but I invited her in so we could work on her college applications. I wanted to be her role model, I wanted her to see me and yearn for more for herself. She stayed with us through college, got a job, and moved into an apartment nearby. We kept a close relationship, or so I thought. She was part of every celebration, watched over my son, joined us for Sunday lunches, and was adored by everyone. To me, she was a sister. To my children, their best aunty. To my friends, my blood. But to my husband; she was the mistress.

The woman I called my sister was the other woman in my husband’s life. And I didn’t find out until 12 years had passed. Twelve years of betrayal, right under my nose.

When the truth hit, it wasn’t heartbreak: it was something else. I vomited, had diarrhoea for days, passed out, and suffered panic attacks, body pains, shivering. I couldn’t hold a spoon for months. I became completely incapacitated. This was the woman I carried on my back as a child, the baby I watched over while the older ones went to the farm. I helped her through school, typed her first CV, prepared her for interviews, took her in during COVID when she lost her job. She was my next of kin on every document. She was the person I trusted with my children and everything I owned.

And she watched me suffer for 12 years. All this while, she was the other woman

I doubted God. I asked how He could let me pour love into someone who was pouring poison into my life. They say the worst part of being stabbed in the back is turning around and seeing who’s holding the knife. I built, protected, and beautified my own bomb, and it detonated with precision.

That was my first death.

I found out three years ago. My real mother and the father of this devil were already gone, but her mother, the woman who raised me, was still alive. I drove to her house like a madwoman, screaming. I told her everything, hoping for comfort. Instead, she looked me in the eye and said, “Even sisters can marry the same man.” Her next words I won’t repeat. But that day, my tears dried. My heart stopped for the second time. I looked at my late uncle’s portrait on the wall, the one I had made myself, and begged it to speak. That day, I lost the only family I had.

That was my second death.

She told her children I was speaking ill of their sister. The people I called siblings turned against me. My therapist jokes that maybe I imagined this family into being when they didn’t exist. Maybe she’s right.

Five months later, I found out she was pregnant. A few months after that, she gave birth.

That was my third death.

But nothing broke me more than what happened next. A year ago, my eldest son, now 15, who had watched me spiral into depression, found out the truth. He had been researching why I was always sick, always crying, always missing work. He discovered everything. And now, he’s battling his own depression. He’s angry, rebellious, and broken. He told me he wishes he didn’t have to wait until 18 to disappear. He loved his aunty. He thought she was my biological sister. And his father was supposed to be the answer to everything. How do you fix a boy whose first lesson in love is betrayal?

That was my fourth death.

He blames me for choosing “the devil” as his father. And even though I try to teach him grace and forgiveness, deep down, I know he’s right. Somewhere along the way, I knew I married wrong.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

No, I won’t talk about my husband today. But I will say this: when you choose a husband, you’re also choosing a father for your children.

It’s been three years. If you’re looking for a happy ending, there isn’t one yet. But I’m alive. I’m out of depression. I’m healing. My son is still struggling, but he has me, he has God, and he’s in therapy.

I won’t give you a moral. Just know this happened to a young, beautiful, hardworking, kind, loving, God-fearing woman. Pick your lesson and run with it.

—Barbie

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": "When, Caught, Sister, Having, Affair, With, Husband, Mom, Said, Sisters, Can, Share", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/44694.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-i-caught-my-sister-having-an-affair-with-my-husband-my-mom-said-sisters-can-share-2/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 04:54:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85935", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Broke Up With Me Over One Little Mistake", "title_slug": "he-broke-up-with-me-over-one-little-mistake", "title_hash": "7c11672c62dd09e952cb1017e54232da", "summary": "I have been dating a man for over two years. Saying that I like him is an understatement. I have had relationships before, including one that nearly led to marriage …", "content": "

I have been dating a man for over two years. Saying that I like him is an understatement. I have had relationships before, including one that nearly led to marriage and a child, but none of them felt like this one. We connect in ways that seem otherworldly.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

Because of that intense connection, our sexual life has been amazing. I had never been happier or more at peace. Loving him has made me discover a kind of love in myself I did not even know I possessed.

Some time ago he had to move away for work. It is not possible for me to join him yet, so we no longer see each other every day as we used to. Regardless, we kept the connection alive through constant communication. We do our best to keep our conversations exciting.

A few days ago we planned a visit that happened to coincide with an event I had to attend for my one and only close friend, who is my rock. I was torn. On one hand, I missed my boyfriend and wanted to see him. On the other hand, my friend needed me at the event. Besides, if I missed it, I wouldn’t see her for months.

Knowing my man, he would cancel his visit and tell me to go be with my friend. That’s why I chose not to tell him. Rather, I came up with a plan to kill two birds with one stone.

Although my best friend’s event was in another country, I decided to let my boyfriend arrive for us to spend time together before I catch a flight to the event.

This is where the problem began. I had already mentioned the event to him. I just didn’t tell him that the date clashed with his visit. I was wrong to do that, but I did it because I needed to see him.

We had a great visit, but I ended up booking an earlier flight. Which means I left a few hours before he was supposed to return to his work station. He seemed fine with it at first, but when I landed at my friend’s event, everything changed.

He became cold and distant. When I finally got him to talk to me, the words he said were, “We are over.”

I cannot understand why this is happening.

Yes, I made a mistake by not telling him about the change in plans. I just didn’t want to risk losing the chance to see him. Is this something that should be grounds for a breakup?

This is a man who told me countless times that nothing would ever make him leave me. I have shown him again and again how much I love him, through my actions and with my words.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I expected him to talk to me and express his displeasure if my leaving earlier than his departure made him unhappy. But breakup? This feels too harsh.

I have apologised several times but he is not having it. I am so heartbroken that I cannot focus on anything. The signs are manifesting in my body. My heart has been pounding erratically these past few days. I feel sick to my stomach all the time. Who knew? Loving someone this deeply can be catastrophic when it turns sour.

—Selina

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Broke, With, Over, One, Little, Mistake", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9350.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-broke-up-with-me-over-one-little-mistake/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-24 04:54:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85934", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mom Ran Away, Leaving My 5-Year-Old Brother With Me", "title_slug": "my-mom-ran-away-leaving-my-5-year-old-brother-with-me", "title_hash": "1c4baa23291f0d41780289b5566b4820", "summary": "My dad died before I was born. He died in a car accident. My mom was only twenty years old when it happened. They were not married. The pregnancy came …", "content": "

My dad died before I was born. He died in a car accident. My mom was only twenty years old when it happened. They were not married. The pregnancy came in the way so they decided they would marry after I had been born. The universe had different plans, so one late night, in a commercial lorry traveling to Sunyani for a funeral, they had an accident and my dad was one of the passengers who died.

I was seven years old when my mom married again. The man she married traveled abroad when my mom was pregnant. Again, other plans were laid. The man would travel abroad and later come for my mom and the child. It was during those days that communication was very difficult. My mom gave birth to my brother when she still hadn’t heard from her husband. I don’t know, maybe that was the trigger.

My mom turned into a monster who would scream and hit at the least provocation. We lived in a compound house; she fought everybody, including me. My brother was less than a year old when she abandoned him to me. I would wake up, bathe my brother, feed him, and dress him up before I would go to school. When my brother started school, it got worse. I would do everything for him, take him to school, and also pick him up after school.

When my brother cried at night, my mom would wake me up. She had a cane next to her bed, which was what she used to wake me up. She would hit me about five times. The first hit would wake me up, but I would receive extra lashes for not waking up when my brother was crying. “Are you dead? Can’t you hear your brother is crying?”

I would cry while trying to stop my brother from crying. He would lie on my chest until he fell asleep again. It got to a point where my brother didn’t like to sleep in his bed anymore. He got used to sleeping on my chest. When I put him down, he cried, so I slept while he slept on my chest.

I was only fourteen years old going through all that. My mom would disappear at night and leave us in the house, sometimes without food. When the hunger was too much to bear, I would carry my brother on my back and walk for over thirty minutes to my aunt’s house for food.

One evening my aunt fed us and kept us in her house, thinking my mom would come looking for us. We slept until morning; my mom didn’t come. My aunt took us home in the morning, and it became a fight between them. My aunt questioned her parental skills, and she defended herself. She said she thought I had gone to sleep in a man’s house, so she was waiting for me to return and receive a beating.

I have a deep scar on my thigh. She gave me that scar that day. She didn’t beat me with only a cane but also with a belt. She used the part where the belt hook was to beat me. My brother came to hug me, crying and scared. I think he was about five years old then. My mom grabbed this boy and threw him away so she could deal with me.

Because she had fought everyone in the house, no one came to intervene. That day, I ran away from the house and went to my aunt. She came to fetch me from my aunt and continued beating me for running away while she was beating me. When she took me home, she smeared hot ointment into my sores so I would feel the pain all over again.

She left us one evening and went to church. I fed my brother, bathed him, and put him to sleep. While my brother was sleeping, I followed the kids in the house to another house to watch TV. They placed the TV outside so everyone in the community could go there and watch. I was there enjoying a Chinese movie and dreaming I was as strong as the girl in the movie so I could beat my mom. My dream was cut short when I felt a hand grabbing my neck from behind.

I was choking and couldn’t even see who it was until my mom spoke. She dragged me by the neck and took me home. Unbeknownst to me, my brother had woken up and was in the house crying. Someone knew where my mom was and carried my brother to her. She then sought me out and brutally assaulted me. I didn’t sleep in the room that day. After beating me, she locked her door, so I had to sleep on the doorstep while trembling with fear and cold.

I could write a thousand-page book if I wanted to write about what I went through at my mom’s hands, but the worst was yet to come.

When my brother was in class one, she moved him to my school so it would be easier for me to handle him. Around that time, she was seeing a man who had a small car. If I mistakenly passed by and saw her seated in the man’s car, she would come home and beat me for spying on her. She made herself so fearful that my brother didn’t go to her. Even if he was dying, I was the one he would run to. He called me mom but didn’t have a name for my mom.

It got to a time when my mom got so busy arranging things in the room. She would fold this and fold that. She would put these things together and tie them. I couldn’t ask questions. We came back from school one day and our door was locked. There was a place she usually hid the keys. I checked, but the key wasn’t there. One of the women asked what we were doing there, and I thought, “Why is she asking me this question? Are we not standing in front of our own door?”

While we were in school, my mom had packed out of the house. She had relocated without us. When the woman told me, I couldn’t believe my ears. She herself couldn’t believe me when I said I didn’t know our mom was leaving. I sat my brother on my lap and cried for a while. After the tears, I felt very relieved. I carried my brother and went to my aunt. When I told her the story, she laughed, then got angry, and later shed tears.

We stayed with my aunt until school vacated. She traveled with us to Koforidua where our grandmother was. She was a retired nurse. My grandmother apologized to us for everything we had gone through and also apologized for giving birth to a monster who ate her own eggs.

My uncle came from abroad and took my brother with him. I think that was after my brother completed JSS. I completed nursing training, worked for five years, got married, but we still didn’t know where my mom was. I had even forgotten about her. The family treated her memory as though she didn’t exist because if no one knows where you are and also no one hears from you, aren’t you dead?

My grandma died and was buried. My aunt died, and it was at her funeral that my mom made an appearance. I didn’t recognize her when I saw her. Later, when the extended family saw her and she was being introduced, that was when I realized who she was. She looked deep into my eyes and started crying. I don’t know who the tears were for, whether for me or my dead aunt.

I called my brother on the phone and whispered, “I see a ghost.” He responded, “A familiar ghost, I guess.” I whispered, “The ghost of the monster.” He said, “Be careful you don’t get hit.”

I burst out laughing, but tears followed the laughter. He asked what I was going to do. I answered, “I don’t know.” He said, “Wait and see what she will do.”

She called my name and I answered. She said, “Haven’t you seen me?” I answered, “I have.” She asked, “And you won’t say anything to me?”

Throughout the funeral, I was with her. She was telling me her plans as though we had been friends forever. She told me her story as if she wanted me to take a walk with her through her memory. I asked her, “So where did you go?” She answered, “It’s a very long story.”

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

That story hasn’t been told until today.

She lives in my grandmother’s house. I set up a shop for her so she could begin again. I send her money when she needs it. My brother also sends her money, but she doesn’t know where I live. I have a daughter; she has yet to meet her. She doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t intrude in our lives. She’s content with life like that. This phase of life feels like rest for her, and she’s taking it all in.
\n#MyChildhood Trauma

—Sarpomaa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

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$\"social$ Learn how to smoothly transition an interaction from social to sexual by using effective triggers and frames to build natural momentum.

Back in May I asked our audience on X for some topics they’d like to hear more about. Use Fox Forger asked this question:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Transition, Interaction, from, Social, Sexual", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/transition-social-to-sexual-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-transition-interaction-social-sexual", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85119", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Lead Sex Talk When She Does Most of the Talking", "title_slug": "how-to-lead-sex-talk-when-she-does-most-of-the-talking", "title_hash": "1f71f8b8920665469d900e2303c60728", "summary": "It’s great when girls get into the sex talk. But you still need to be in charge. Here’s how to use values elicitation to keep your hand on the wheel.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"leading$ It’s great when girls get into the sex talk. But you still need to be in charge. Here’s how to use values elicitation to keep your hand on the wheel.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Lead, Sex, Talk, When, She, Does, Most, the, Talking", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/lead-sex-talk-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-lead-sex-talk-when-she-does-most-talking", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85118", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The 10 Most Awkward Things You Can Say After Intimacy", "title_slug": "the-10-most-awkward-things-you-can-say-after-intimacy", "title_hash": "5c1a93c07b37fd94c92e82c3fb69656e", "summary": "There is a certain silence that happens right after you have been close with someone. It can be…", "content": "There is a certain silence that happens right after you have been close with someone. It can be…", "keywords": "The, Most, Awkward, Things, You, Can, Say, After, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "103", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/awkward-things-e1758375640681.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-10-most-awkward-things-you-can-say-after-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85117", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When women starved of affection, they do these 10 things", "title_slug": "when-women-starved-of-affection-they-do-these-10-things", "title_hash": "cb420fb1f8589aa5ae99590fc7e2c587", "summary": "When Women Are Starved of Affection, They Do These 10 Things Affection is more than kisses and hugs.…", "content": "When Women Are Starved of Affection, They Do These 10 Things Affection is more than kisses and hugs.…", "keywords": "When, women, starved, affection, they, these, things", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/starved-e1758379091226.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/when-women-starved-of-affection-they-do-these-10-things/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85116", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Women Lust After a Man for These 10 Reasons", "title_slug": "women-lust-after-a-man-for-these-10-reasons", "title_hash": "252e0e417e66859825c8f1da32e26a95", "summary": "Attraction has layers. Women don’t just wake up and feel a sudden pull toward a man. There are…", "content": "Attraction has layers. Women don’t just wake up and feel a sudden pull toward a man. There are…", "keywords": "Women, Lust, After, Man, for, These, Reasons", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Lust-e1758384447561.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/women-lust-after-a-man-for-these-10-reasons/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85114", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Things a Guy Thinks After You Sleep With Him", "title_slug": "8-things-a-guy-thinks-after-you-sleep-with-him", "title_hash": "70c2d4e9440632b6afd3b4973a512d4f", "summary": "Men might act calm, even casual, after intimacy, but their minds are rarely as quiet as they look.…", "content": "Men might act calm, even casual, after intimacy, but their minds are rarely as quiet as they look.…", "keywords": ", Things, Guy, Thinks, After, You, Sleep, With, Him", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/women-shock-men-2.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-things-a-guy-thinks-after-you-sleep-with-him/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85115", "lang_id": "1", "title": "If You Have These 10 Habits, You’re a Wise Woman", "title_slug": "if-you-have-these-10-habits-youre-a-wise-woman", "title_hash": "065efea17476585b38b7b5f4ba1a529e", "summary": "Wisdom is not about how many books you have read or how many years you have lived. It…", "content": "Wisdom is not about how many books you have read or how many years you have lived. It…", "keywords": ", You, Have, These, Habits, You’re, Wise, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/women-shock-men-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/if-you-have-these-10-habits-youre-a-wise-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85112", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Benefits of Walking Backwards", "title_slug": "benefits-of-walking-backwards", "title_hash": "b7d3652e87f17a37907fa0015b41ae21", "summary": "From Posture Correction to Brain Activation, Walking Backwards Can Be a Game-Changer for Your Health", "content": "Maybe you’ve seen people walking backwards on the treadmill at the gym. Backward walking, sometimes called retro-walking, is having a moment. Before you laugh, know that it’s a legitimate low-impact workout that can improve joint pain, boost your cardio and help you get fitter. \r\n“As a chiropractor, I’ve actually had quite a few patients laugh when I first suggest walking backwards as part of their rehab. But once they try it, they realize how effective it can be. It’s not just some social media gimmick,” says Dr. Kira Capozzolo, chiropractor and co-owner of Twin Waves Wellness Center. “I’ve seen it help guys with cranky knees or tight hips rebuild strength and stability in a way that forward walking doesn’t always allow.”\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Walking \r\nIf you’re wondering whether you should start walking in reverse, here are six benefits that will convince you it’s time to lace up your sneakers (and make sure you don’t bump into anyone or anything when practicing).\r\n\r\nWhy You Should Incorporate Backwards Walking Into Your Fitness Routine\r\n\r\n1. It Can Be Better for Your Knees\r\nDo you suffer from patellofemoral pain, a common dull ache around the knee cap? According to Capozzolo, you might tolerate walking backwards better than exercises like squats or lunges. And, since it’s surprisingly effective at strengthening your legs, it’s a way to work your lower body without causing knee joint irritation. \r\n2. It Promotes Optimal Hip-Knee-Ankle Alignment\r\nGwenn Jones, certified personal trainer and director of Auburn Yoga & Fitness, says that walking backwards is great for hip-knee-ankle alignment, as it encourages you to be aware of your foot placement in a way that walking forward just doesn’t. If you favor the outside or the inside of your feet when walking, it will become obvious when you try retro-walking. And since your feet influence the alignment of your knees and hips, this simple form tweak can improve your posture and reduce pain. \r\n3. It Helps Improve Balance and Coordination\r\nIf you think you have excellent balance and coordination, backwards walking might humble you. \r\n“You realize how much your brain and body rely on habit,” says Capozzolo. But the beauty of trying something unfamiliar, even if it throws you off at first, is that it forces your brain and body to adapt — and it will improve your balance and coordination, both in and out of the gym, which means better mobility and a lower risk of injury. \r\n4. It Activates Your Posterior Chain\r\nThe posterior chain is a group of muscles on the backside of the body, including your glutes and hamstrings. Many of us over-rely on the front of our body to move, which can create issues and imbalances. But walking backwards “lights up the calves, hamstrings and glutes differently,” says Capozzolo: “I’ve had athletes tell me it made them feel more balanced out, especially runners who were quad-dominant.” \r\n5. It’s a Great Cardio Workout\r\nYou might just break a sweat after a couple of minutes of walking backwards. As Jones puts it, “it’s an impressive cardio boost.” That’s because you’re engaging major muscle groups and likely taking bigger steps. If you walk backwards outdoors (and hopefully do it in an open space where you aren’t likely to bump into people or cars), you’ll notice your heart rate increase even more thanks to the variable terrain, which is more challenging than training on a treadmill. \r\n6. It Stimulates Your Brain\r\nFinally, walking backwards isn’t just good for your body — it’s good for your brain too. “Being mindful of our form, coordination, and the different muscle engagements creates continuous brain stimulation,” says Jones. In other words, you can’t zone out when backward walking, and that can help keep your mind sharp. \r\n\r\nTips to Incorporate Walking Backwards in Your Routine\r\n\r\nWant to give retro-walking a try? Start small on the treadmill — and hold the rails for safety. If you feel confident enough to head out, Capozzolo recommends going in a wide-open, obstacle-free space like a basketball court.\r\nWondering how long to walk backwards for? “Five minutes a couple of times a week is plenty to begin with. Once you’re comfortable, you can build up to longer intervals or add a slight incline,” says Capozzolo.\r\n“When outdoors, I turn and walk 100 steps backward at least six or eight times. My style is a slight squat, which compels my chest slightly forward, keeping a flat back for longer glides,” says Jones. \r\nIf you’re tempted to start with a 30-minute walk, don’t. Muscles such as your calves may be sore for days, since they’re not used to being activated in that way. And, it goes without saying, don’t attempt to walk backwards in a busy or cluttered space, as you could injure yourself.\r\nStill skeptical? “I know it looks a little goofy at first, but I’ve seen walking backwards make a real difference for knee pain, balance and overall conditioning,” adds Capozzolo. So, take it from the pros. This isn’t about doing something trendy, but trying a simple workout that can help you move without pain. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nThe 5 Riskiest Exercises That Lead to InjuryHow to Lose Weight by WalkingHow to Relieve Lower Back Pain", "keywords": "Benefits, Walking, Backwards", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/benefits-of-walking-backwards/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758299810.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/benefits-of-walking-backwards.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85113", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Channeling Anger Into Your Workout Can Reduce Stress", "title_slug": "how-channeling-anger-into-your-workout-can-reduce-stress", "title_hash": "4287f93d7f4cdff740c644643e188185", "summary": "Why the Weight Room Is an Excellent Place to Channel Your Anger & Frustration", "content": "You’re angry. Maybe something happened at work or you had an argument with your significant other. You head to the gym, put your headphones on and load a barbell. You not only crush a personal record, but you leave feeling calm and grounded. \r\nIf this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. It’s common for men to channel their anger into a sweat session, and it can be a healthy habit — if you avoid certain pitfalls. Here’s how channeling anger into your workouts can reduce stress and benefit your mental health, and how to do it the right way.\r\nRELATED: How to Motivate Yourself to Work Out When You’re Depressed \r\n\r\nWhy Working Out Angry Feels so Good\r\n\r\nAnger isn’t just emotional. It has an impact on your physiology. It can activate your fight-or-flight response and trigger the release of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which are meant to help you act fast in the face of a threat but can come with unpleasant effects. \r\n“When a person is angry, there are biological and hormonal changes that occur, which can result in physical sensations often associated with anger, such as increased heart rate, physical tension and high blood pressure,” according to Danielle Dellaquila, therapist and licensed social worker at Gateway to Solutions.\r\n“Exercise can help beneficially change the body's chemistry, reduce excess stress hormones, and channel physiological responses to anger, while also increasing feel-good hormones such as dopamine and serotonin.” \r\nThis process explains why working out angry feels so good and how it improves your mood once you’re done.\r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Channeling Anger Into Workouts\r\n\r\nAs Rick Bloomer, registered mental health nurse at Asana Lodge, notes, physical activity becomes a way of doing something with all the energy you’re feeling. But the benefits of working out angry extend beyond blowing off steam. \r\nIt Helps With Anger Management\r\nIf you hit the gym instead of lashing out at someone or taking your anger out in traffic, that’s a win. Exercise provides a healthy outlet, which can “help people who struggle with anger by directing their emotions into something healthy, hopefully preventing them from engaging in more unhealthy forms of releasing their anger,” says Dellaquila. \r\nIt Reduces Stress Hormones and Boosts Feel-Good Ones\r\nBeing angry is stressful, and stress can wreak havoc on your health, from disrupting your sleep to creating physical tension in your body. According to Dellaquila, physical exertion burns off excess stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, and triggers the release of feel-good endorphins, which lowers stress levels and benefits your well-being as a whole. \r\nIt Increases Mindfulness\r\nYou may not see bench pressing with rage in the same lens as meditation, but working out while angry can actually increase mindfulness, adds Dellaquila. Mindfulness is a research-backed way to lower stress, and it will continue benefiting you long after you’ve processed your angry feelings. \r\n“Working out also creates a structured space to focus attention away from what triggered the anger,” says Bloomer. “Over time people can start to associate exercise not just with releasing frustration, but with feeling calmer and more in control.”\r\nIt Can Improve Your Sleep\r\nFrom reducing stress to releasing feel-good hormones and cultivating mindfulness, all the benefits mentioned above lead to better sleep. And, since being sleep-deprived can affect your mood and make you feel angrier than usual, a healthy outlet like exercise can help break that cycle. \r\nIt Prevents You From Turning Anger Towards Yourself\r\nThe risk with not knowing how to process your anger isn’t just hurting others, but hurting yourself. “Internalizing responses may look like self-blame, rumination or social withdrawal,” says Dellaquila, while Bloomer adds that working out while angry provides a break from ruminating thoughts and can also instill a sense of achievement, which helps nip unhelpful responses in the bud.\r\n\r\nWhen Working Out Angry Becomes Problematic\r\n\r\nThat said, there is such a thing as channeling anger into a workout in an unhealthy way. As Bloomer notes, it becomes problematic if someone relies solely on working out to cope with anger without ever learning other ways to process their feelings. You can even start associating anger with performance, which can encourage unhealthy exercise habits. \r\nPlus, you don’t want to accidentally hurt yourself or others at the gym. “It could be problematic if individuals are so angry that they are not mindful of how aggressively they are using equipment, leading to them pushing themselves too hard and possibly causing injury or overexertion,” according to Dellaquila.\r\n\r\nTips to Healthily Channel Anger Into Exercise\r\n\r\nTo healthily channel anger into exercise, stay aware of how hard you are pushing yourself and how you’re using the equipment, recommends Dellaquila. You can even use your angry workout as a mindfulness practice, channeling your thoughts into every movement, breathing deeply and noticing how your body feels instead of focusing on what’s bothering you. \r\nFinally, avoid using exercise as your only coping strategy. If you’re often angry, there might be more to unpack. “If anger is constant, explore why and address the underlying issues. Exercise can be one tool for managing anger, but it works best alongside healthy relaxation techniques and, when needed, professional support,” suggests Bloomer.\r\nSo, go ahead and channel anger into a workout — just be sure you’re doing it safely. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Manage Your AngerBest Workouts for Mental HealthHow to Deal With Anxiety", "keywords": "How, Channeling, Anger, Into, Your, Workout, Can, Reduce, Stress", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-channeling-anger-into-your-workout-can-reduce-stress/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758285734.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-channeling-anger-into-your-workout-can-reduce-stress.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85110", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Coach: Should I Get Penis Enlargement Surgery?", "title_slug": "dating-coach-should-i-get-penis-enlargement-surgery", "title_hash": "d3868c3c9c6eaaee22f6f84e76580032", "summary": "My Penis is Very Small. Should I Have a $16K Enlargement Surgery to Improve My Love Life?", "content": "Welcome to AskMen’s latest column, Dating Coach, a monthly exploration of the difficulties guys face when it comes to modern dating. We’ve got a real, actual dating coach in Connell Barrett walking guys like you through everything from the most basic of the basics to the most pro of the pro tips.\r\nThe Question\r\nI’m barely 4 inches long, fully erect. The average penis length is 5.1 to 5.5 inches, so I’m well below that. When women find out my penis is small, I feel devastated. Recently, a woman left my bedroom when she touched me, saying, “Sorry, I just can’t.” I’m considering a surgical penile implant to make me longer and wider. But it’s $16,000, and it comes with a painful recovery. I’m terrified women will keep rejecting me, but I’m also scared of going under the knife. What should I do?—It’s a Small World\r\nThe Answer\r\nPenis size is overrated. If length was all that mattered to women, then Ron Jeremy would be dating Sydney Sweeney. \r\nYour problem isn’t the size of your penis. It’s the size of your self-doubt. \r\nThe most universal fear men face in dating is “What if I’m not enough?” Not tall enough or handsome enough or rich enough—or in your case, not big enough in the bedroom. Few things repel women faster than insecurity, with the possible exception of shirtless bathroom selfies. \r\nI know all about self-doubt. For decades, I felt I was too shy, too nice and too nerdy—just not the outgoing “alpha male” that I thought women wanted. It was bullshit, but I believed it. And now, as a dating coach who has helped hundreds of men fix their confidence issues, I can tell you that penis enlargement surgery won’t cure what’s truly costing you with women.\r\nBy walking out of your bedroom, that woman triggered your worst fear: that you’re not enough. And now that fear is whispering, “Pay $16K and cut into your manhood.” (It’s funny how that voice never says something helpful, like, “Try yoga” or “Call your mom back.”)\r\nLet’s pause your panic spiral. I know her reaction shook you. But are you going to let one person’s opinion of your penis size determine your worth as a man and send you to a surgeon?\r\nI want you to stop asking yourself, “Why am I cursed with a small penis?” and ask yourself a better question with a better answer: “Can I be desired and loved as I am? Yes!” \r\nMore on that in a moment. First, let’s talk about that surgery. Should you get it?\u2028Short answer: No! Long answer? Hell to the no! (See? Longer isn’t always better.)\r\nPenile enlargement surgery is high-risk and low-reward. We’re talking potential scarring, nerve damage, infection—and sometimes you actually lose length or wind up with a misshapen penis.\r\nOne study found that 57% of men getting girth procedures were left dissatisfied because of lumps, bumps and deformities. Imagine paying $16K for a Franken-penis. \r\nIt’s no wonder that the American Urological Association doesn’t recommend these surgeries for men with normal anatomy. They’re generally not proven safe or effective.\r\nIn my view, penile surgery in your case isn’t self-improvement. It’s self-sabotage with a scalpel.\r\nYou can absolutely find love with a below-average-sized penis, but you first need to stop listening to the lie that you’re too small for women. Then, work on making yourself more attractive as a man. \r\nBuild a better you—not a bigger unit. \r\nHere’s proof that this works: My client Tyler (not his real name) came to me with your exact measurements and the same crushing doubt. Tyler felt that his 4-inch member made him un-datable. But instead of going under the knife, he worked on his self-worth. He took up Taikwando, enrolled in a sex-ed course on women’s pleasure—and stopped Googling “Do I have a micro-penis?” at 3am. Soon he was dating Donna. After their first intimate night together, she told him, “You’re such a good lover.” Tyler choked up. \r\nIf you’re undersized down there, here are three much better ways than surgery to improve your dating fortunes. \r\nWrite a “Confidence Creed”Romantic self-worth starts with knowing what you offer. If you don’t believe in your worth, why would any woman believe it? Write what I call a Confidence Creed—a simple, unshakable statement of your enough-ness. It should begin, “When I’m honest with myself, I know I’m worthy of love because…” and then list three specific traits that make you a great catch. Tyler wrote, “…because I’m well-educated, I have a dry sense of humor, and I run marathons—and women love smart, fit men like me.” That belief is much more truthful and empowering than “No woman on earth wants me because I have a small penis.” \r\nRead “Come As You Are” by Emily NagoskiAre women’s bodies a mystery to you? This science-packed exploration of female sexuality explains it all with science and humor. Rather than feeling insecure in the bedroom, you’ll learn how to push their, umm, buttons. (One chapter is subtitled, “The Clit, the Whole Clit, and Nothing but the Clit.” So help me God.)\r\nMaster Something Else She’ll Crave\r\nLearning to cook isn’t just about food. When you master a challenging dish (like a creamy mushroom risotto or sizzling garlic-chili stir-fry), you become more attractive to women. There’s something sexy about a guy who’s good in the kitchen. So if you can’t whip out a 12-inch c***, whip out a 12-inch wok.\r\nOh! And with your newfound confidence (and culinary cred), this sex tip will come in handy: Try the reverse cowgirl—with a pillow assist. It’s a position that many sex educators suggest for men with smaller penises. During reverse cowgirl, place a pillow under your partner’s hips. This lift angles her pelvis so she can settle lower on you, giving you more depth while also pressing her clitoris against your pelvis. You’ll go deeper, she’ll feel more stimulation. \r\nTyler tried it and said the pillow boost made him feel 2 inches larger—a full-on 6-incher! And Donna clearly found the reverse cowgirl to be yee-hawt.\r\nForget about gaining more inches. Gain more confidence. Self-worth is the only enlargement that works. And it’s covered by every insurance plan.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nEverything You Ever Wanted to Know About Penis Size\tHow to Get a Bigger Penis, Revealed\tHow to Satisfy Your Partner in Bed With a Smaller Penis", "keywords": "Dating, Coach:, Should, Get, Penis, Enlargement, Surgery", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/dating-coach-should-i-get-penis-enlargement-surgery/askmen-lead-image-2x1-42-1758312406.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/dating-coach-should-i-get-penis-enlargement-surgery.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85111", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Sneakerheads", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-sneakerheads", "title_hash": "b0f6ed7c667091bf5e47a2ee71d7402e", "summary": "Sneakers are more than just footwear: they are a piece of wearable art. Sneaker culture has shown sportswear companies like Nike, Adidas and Reebok that shoes represent more than just their design. Footwear is a blank canvas that allows designers and creatives to share their artwork, heritage and visions with other sneaker lovers. People's love for sneakers helped create a sneaker community that served as a safe space for sneakerheads to show their appreciation and support for shoes.\r\nSneakerhead is a term used to describe someone who collects and admires shoes as a hobby, or in some cases, as a profession. And this term isn't reserved for the elite. Due to the rise in popularity of sneakers, it seems like everyone is referring to themselves as sneakerheads. Footwear companies noticed the potential profitability in this popularity, which led to an increase in collaborations with designer brands, athletes and celebrities.\r\nRELATED: Best Stocking Stuffers for Men\r\nYes, this is a win for ", "content": "Sneakers are more than just footwear: they are a piece of wearable art. Sneaker culture has shown sportswear companies like Nike, Adidas and Reebok that shoes represent more than just their design. Footwear is a blank canvas that allows designers and creatives to share their artwork, heritage and visions with other sneaker lovers. People's love for sneakers helped create a sneaker community that served as a safe space for sneakerheads to show their appreciation and support for shoes.\r\nSneakerhead is a term used to describe someone who collects and admires shoes as a hobby, or in some cases, as a profession. And this term isn't reserved for the elite. Due to the rise in popularity of sneakers, it seems like everyone is referring to themselves as sneakerheads. Footwear companies noticed the potential profitability in this popularity, which led to an increase in collaborations with designer brands, athletes and celebrities.\r\nRELATED: Best Stocking Stuffers for Men\r\nYes, this is a win for sneaker-obsessed individuals, but now it’s harder than ever to cop a pair of shoes like Yeezy’s or Nike Dunks. These high-end shoes come with a major challenge: bots and the increase in demand for sneakers have made it difficult for sneakerheads to secure new releases due to inventory instantly selling out. Not only is this bad for sneakerheads, but it limits your chances of snagging a nice pair of kicks for your sneaker lover this holiday season.\r\nSo to help you avoid a loss on upcoming sneaker releases, we’ve compiled a list of awesome gift ideas that any sneakerhead will love.\r\nAdidas Ozweego \r\n\r\n\r\nEveryone and their mother has a pair of Adidas Sambas in their closet, but real ones know the value of a clean pair of Ozweegos. The bulky profile belies just how lightweight and breathable these shoes are, making them easy to wear all-day long, while their zigzagging design elements and retro sneaker silhouette will catch the eyes of true connoisseurs wherever you go. \r\n$120 at FootLocker.com\r\n‘Nike. ICONS: Something’s Off’ by Virgil Abloh\r\n\r\nDidn’t get selected for Virgil Abloh’s Off-White x Nike Dunk Low “Dear Summer” collection? No worries, cheer up with this sneaker culture book. The designer and sportswear company teamed up for a 352-page book that explains Abloh’s design process for his Off-White x Nike sneaker collaboration. It serves as the perfect coffee table book too.\r\n$50.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSongmics Shoe Rack\r\n\r\nThere is nothing worse than having a staggering pile of shoe boxes in your room, but you can put that problem to rest with a Songmic shoe storage unit. These interlocking boxes hold up to 22 pounds and can be arranged into multiple designs. You can store up to 15 pairs of sneakers with this rack.\r\n$44.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPUMA Indoor Sneaker\r\n\r\nWith a silhouette and styling that dates back to the '80s, the Indoor Sneaker is the epitome of vintage, but nothing about this classic sneaker is dated. We love the simple but elegant design and outfit versatility these sneakers unlock.\r\n$100 PUMA.com \r\nStratton Cedar Shoe Tree\r\n\r\nKeep your shoes in proper shape with these shoe trees from Stratton. They’re made from premium cedar wood that absorbs moisture and prevents odors from building up in your shoes. The shoe trees have an adjustable design that can fit into any sneaker, no matter its size.\r\nFrom $39.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSupreme Grid Beanie\r\n\r\nSupreme might be known as a hypebeast brand, but sneakerheads are still obsessed with it. The New York-based brand knows a thing or two about staying on trends, and they knocked it out of the park with this beanie. It comes in five colors: black, blue, brown, green and red.\r\n$38 at SupremeNewYork.com\r\nNike Gift Card\r\n\r\nKnow someone who has a specific strategy to cop a pair of Nike Dunks? If so, then it might be wise to give them a gift card. It will save you the time and stress of not having to deal with bots and other sneakerheads on release day. A word of advice, make sure to load at least $150 on the gift card. Dunks are pretty expensive, and the last thing you want to happen is for the gift card to decline at checkout due to a low balance.\r\nFind Out More at Nike.com\r\nDior Sauvage Eau de Parfum\r\n\r\nHave you been looking for a new signature scent to add to your cologne collection? If so, you’ll love this cologne from Dior. The fragrance is mixed with Calabrian bergamot and Papua New Guinean Vanilla absolute. It’s a subtle but pleasant smell that everyone loves and lasts all day long.\r\n$134.90 at Amazon.com\r\nNike Benassi Slides\r\n\r\n\r\nTake a break from wearing sneakers every day, and slide your feet into a pair of sandals. Not only do they allow your feet to breathe, but they’re very comfortable as well.\r\nFrom $43 at Amazon.com\r\nIris USA Standing Garment Clothing Rack\r\n\r\nKeep your favorite stylish pieces on display in your room with this clothing rack. The easy-to-assemble rack has an open structure to allow you to customize the arrangement of your clothes. It comes with three wooden shelves that hold up to 11 pounds and can be used to store jewelry, shoes and other accessories.\r\n$59.99 at Amazon.com\r\nReShoeVn8r Essential Shoe Cleaning Kit\r\n\r\n\r\nEven sneakerheads get their shoes dirty sometimes, so why not freshen them up with this cleaning kit. It comes with a cleaning solution and three bristle brushes to help clear any gunk found on shoes. The bundle even features a laundry band and detergent pods for an intense cleaning session.\r\n$50 at ReShoeVn8r.com\r\nPrivate Label Sneaker Duffle\r\n\r\nIt can be a hassle trying to pack clothes into a suitcase, let alone trying to fit all of your shoes in there as well. Luckily, this duffle from Private Label separates and protects your shoes when traveling. Each duffle has four adjustable and removable dividers to help organize and separate shoes. The bag can fit up to four pairs of shoes and features multiple inner pockets to fit small essential items.\r\n$165 at PrivateLabelNYC.com\r\nSneaker Freaker: The Ultimate Sneaker Book by Simon Wood\r\n\r\nMost sneakerheads know the history behind the sneakers they collect, but if not, they’ll surely appreciate this gift. This book explores some of the most popular sneakers ever made and breaks down the history of sneakers in America.\r\n$41.63 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Breathable Shoes for Sweaty Feet\r\n\tBest White Sneakers for Men\r\n\tThe Best No-Show Socks for Men", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Sneakerheads", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/fashion_trends/best-gifts-for-sneakerheads/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1758301602.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/fashion_trends/best-gifts-for-sneakerheads.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "85104", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Tips for Enjoying the Holidays With In-Laws", "title_slug": "5-tips-for-enjoying-the-holidays-with-in-laws", "title_hash": "c4b74ac736eb90da4d481abd220e5d13", "summary": "Stressed about spending the holidays with in-laws? These 5 marriage-saving tips will help you set boundaries, stay united, and enjoy the holiday season!\nThe post 5 Tips for Enjoying the Holidays With In-Laws appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Stressed about spending the holidays with in-laws? These 5 marriage-saving tips will help you set boundaries, stay united, and enjoy the holiday season!

The post 5 Tips for Enjoying the Holidays With In-Laws appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": ", Tips, for, Enjoying, the, Holidays, With, In-Laws", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Screenshot-2025-09-19-at-2.52.53-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/5-tips-for-enjoying-the-holidays-with-in-laws/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:51:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84950", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Impotent Husband Cheated So I Got A Baby Outside", "title_slug": "my-impotent-husband-cheated-so-i-got-a-baby-outside", "title_hash": "14022cd5f83bf2045b50cd3fd4dede5e", "summary": "I have been married for some years now. My husband is a good man. My marriage would have been a happy one if it hadn’t been for one problem. We …", "content": "

I have been married for some years now. My husband is a good man. My marriage would have been a happy one if it hadn’t been for one problem. We couldn’t bear children. It wasn’t easy to handle, especially when we had to see people who got married after us carry their bundles of blessings.

Some of the comments that came our way made the journey more difficult and unbearable. In these situations, it’s always the woman they point to. I became a laughing stock.

When we got tired of waiting for it to happen naturally, we went to see a doctor together. He checked me and said I was fine. However, he made me step out when it was my husband’s turn to hear his results. It didn’t sit right with me but I didn’t make a fuss. After all, my husband would tell me everything that the doctor would say.

After we left the hospital I asked him what the doctor said. He shrugged and said it was nothing serious. “I just need to take some medication, and if it doesn’t work, have a surgery to correct the problem.”

He made it sound like a regular headache he would have to take paracetamol. I stood by him. We prayed together and waited on God to give us a miracle. While trusting God, we resorted to some herbal medicines. It was even a hustle to get him to commit to the drugs as he was always skipping the dosages.

During this difficult period, I discovered he was having an affair. It broke me. I was already dealing with so much even though I wasn’t the problem. Why did he have to betray me on top of all that?

My pain and loneliness had me seeking comfort in the arms of another man. He is married just like me so I thought it was safe. It wasn’t. We ended up having an affair, something I regret to this day. Unfortunately, it’s too late for that — I am pregnant. The baby is not my husband’s and he doesn’t know.

However, when I broke the news of the pregnancy to him, the first thing he asked me was, “Are you sure it’s mine?”

“Why do you think it wouldn’t be yours?” I asked him.

That was when he told me he was sterile. He said the doctor we went to see had told him he wouldn’t be able to father his own children — unless adoption.

“I have seen four other specialists and they all told me the same thing.”

He also said the ultimate solution would have been surgery, but he had no intention of going under the knife. Which meant there was no way he was going to get a cure for his problem.

I was hurt. I kept asking myself why he knew his situation and kept quiet, while I prayed constantly and cried to God for a miracle. Was it his plan to trap me in a childless marriage and continue to be a laughing stock while he had his affair on the side?

Well, now I am pregnant. What becomes of the child? I can’t get rid of it. It’s not something I will do. Nonetheless, I feel filthy when I think about how the pregnancy came about.

I never dreamt I would be the kind of woman who would commit adultery, yet here we are. I don’t know how to make peace with it or forgive myself. I have strayed from the word of God. I have betrayed my values and principles as a Christian. I am so filled with guilt and regret.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I still haven’t told my husband that I had an affair. Somehow he thinks it’s a miracle baby. Should I risk it all and tell him the truth? I just want to get right with God. I always wanted to lay my hands on my pregnancy and invoke God’s blessings on my unborn child. Now I can’t do it. I don’t even remember the last time I prayed.

What can I do to get back to my God? That’s the help I need. Please don’t judge me too harshly — I am already punishing myself enough.
\n

—Eliza

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", "keywords": ", Impotent, Husband, Cheated, Got, Baby, Outside", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9236.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-impotent-husband-cheated-so-i-got-a-baby-outside/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:27:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84949", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Boyfriend Gave Me an Ultimatum: Him or the Phone. I Chose the Phone", "title_slug": "my-boyfriend-gave-me-an-ultimatum-him-or-the-phone-i-chose-the-phone", "title_hash": "6a2e1aec848b29576ed413a0d380948a", "summary": "My phone had been in a very bad condition for almost two years. The last time I sent it to a repairer, the same repairer who had been working on …", "content": "

My phone had been in a very bad condition for almost two years. The last time I sent it to a repairer, the same repairer who had been working on it all this while, he told me, “This is the last repair you can do on this phone. You need to buy a new one.”

I didn’t have the money. I started saving but told myself I wouldn’t use a phone if it broke down. Sammy, my boyfriend, knew about this issue since day one. I wouldn’t blame him for not getting me one. Maybe he didn’t have the money. Maybe he didn’t see it as a priority. Maybe his money doesn’t buy a phone for a girlfriend. Whatever the reason was, I didn’t mind.

An old client wanted my number and I told him I didn’t have a phone. He thought I was lying. I showed him my phone and he laughed. He said, “Don’t worry, I will buy one for you.”

I didn’t see him around again until a month or so later. When he came, he came with an iPhone. It wasn’t new. He said he was the one using it until he bought the latest one. iPhone 11 Pro Max, I later learned, because I didn’t even know the iPhone series.

I was over the moon. When I placed my SIM in the phone, my boyfriend was the first person I called; “Guess what? I have a new phone. iPhone eleveeeen!!!”

I waited for his response but it didn’t come until the smile on my face faded. He asked where I got it from and I told him. He said, in a very cold voice; “Return it if you want this relationship to survive.”

I responded, “This is a stranger who gave me a phone from the goodness of his heart. Why should I return it? For what?” He responded, “Return it. He’s not the one to buy my girlfriend a phone,” and then he hung up.

This fight continued for over one week. It got to a point where I got frustrated and decided I would return the phone. The man took my number but hadn’t called or texted. He hadn’t also come around, but I waited to give the phone back to him. While I waited, my boyfriend pulled away, saying until I return the phone he wouldn’t talk to me again.

I removed my SIM from the phone, put it back into my old phone, but my phone wouldn’t turn on no matter how I massaged it. I took it back and placed it in the iPhone and told myself, “Things die. If he wouldn’t talk to me again because of a phone, then let the relationship die.”

Weeks later, my boyfriend called. “Have you returned the phone?” I answered, “No, I’m not returning it.” He said, “I knew it. You’re sleeping with him; that’s why he could get you a phone. It’s over.” I responded, “That’s fine. I wish you well.”

“Oh, I see your true colours. I didn’t know you’re this cheap. You’re letting a two-year relationship die because of a phone? Only God knows how many men you’ve done that with and they didn’t give you a phone. It’s not even brand new. You’re so cheap he bought you with a second-hand phone.”

He said all that and hung up. I cried a little but I was fine. The man who gave me the phone called later. He asked how I was enjoying the phone. I blessed him for helping me out. He said I’d served him well in the past so I should keep up the good work and more good things would come my way. I thanked him and the conversation ended.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

One month later, my boyfriend is back. He wants the cheap thing that was bought with a second-hand phone back in his life. I could only smile. Me? Adwoa? Go back to where I’d been insulted and called names because of a sin I didn’t commit? My parents were not rich but they didn’t raise a fool.

—Brenda

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******

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Meli and I were not just dating — we were building a future together. We talked about marriage, children, our dream home, and how we would grow old side by side. I trusted her completely, and in my heart, I had already chosen her to be my wife.

All of that came crashing down when one day, while scrolling through social media, I stumbled upon something I never expected to see. My girlfriend, the woman I believed was mine, was busily leaving comments under strangers’ posts. In these comments, she addressed them with sweet names and portrayed herself as a single woman who is looking for someone serious.

At first, I dismissed it as innocent playfulness. But as I read more, I saw that her words weren’t just casual. They were invitations. If they said they would come to her DMs, she would tell them she was waiting for them. It was as if I didn’t exist in her life.

So while I was faithfully planning our future, she was out there making herself seem open to other men. I thought all women want a man who is serious about them so couldn’t I be enough for her?

I felt betrayed because of the way she acted as if our relationship meant nothing when she was online.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Since I saw that thing, I haven’t been the same. Our relationship hasn’t been the same either. Our love feels fake. I have come to believe she only loves me when it’s just the two of us. And that’s not love, if you ask me. Love is about loyalty, whether your partner is watching you or not.

If she truly loves me, why would she plan a wedding with me yet go about acting single when she thinks I am not present to see her? I feel like she was just using me to occupy a space in her life until someone better comes along.

—Joshua

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", "keywords": ", Are, Planning, Marriage, But, She, Acts, Single, Online", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9272.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/we-are-planning-marriage-but-she-acts-single-online/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:27:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84946", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What’s The Best Way To Live Peacefully With A Witch?", "title_slug": "whats-the-best-way-to-live-peacefully-with-a-witch", "title_hash": "bd3a4553f9740dd5392c010223155210", "summary": "My mother and I live with my sister. She is only 24 but she has her own car and drives her own car. No, she is not doing any work …", "content": "

My mother and I live with my sister. She is only 24 but she has her own car and drives her own car. No, she is not doing any work that is earning her enough to afford this kind of lifestyle. She gets these assets and other fancy possessions from men she dates.

I am 21. I believe I am at an age where I should see where my life is heading. Unfortunately, I feel lost with no direction. Everything I do doesn’t work. I have been trying to find a job so I can gain some financial control over my life but I haven’t had any success with that.

Out of frustration, my mother and I started visiting churches and prophets. We wanted to understand if everything going on in my life was tied to spiritual reasons or if it was just bad luck.

Every church and every pastor who prayed for us mentioned my sister’s name. They said she is a marine spirit and that she has married my mother and me spiritually. One pastor told us that my sister took my favour and destiny. “It is the reason men give her things so effortlessly yet nothing works for you.”

The reason we kept going to different places is because my mother and I never believed those stories. We kept saying, “Pastors are always accusing family members of witchcraft to sow discontent among families.” Even after all the prophets who told us the same thing, I still didn’t believe my sister was a witch or a marine spirit until something happened recently.

Last week my mother visited a friend and came home late. My sister got angry and asked her, “Where were you all this time? Whom did you go to?”

The tone of voice she used, you would think my mother was a child living with her. It was so disrespectful. When my mother ignored her she picked a fight with her. While they were arguing my sister shouted, “Hand over your phone to me. I want to check it and know where you went. If you have a boyfriend, we shall see.”

I was shocked at her behaviour. In a moment, I even thought my sister was the mother and not the other way round. Either that or she was an angry husband accusing his wife of cheating. It was weird but what made it even more disturbing was the fact that she stopped talking to my mother after that night.

It has been a week now yet my sister still won’t talk to our mother. This made me start to believe the prophets’ words.

This same sister of mine used to date a married man and never listens to anyone’s advice. Now she is trying to control our mother and decide whom she should date. I don’t talk about her issues anymore because I have realised that every time I confront her, it leads to a quarrel, and I become seriously ill the next day.

Just yesterday, my uncle called my mother and said he had visited a mallam. The mallam claimed my sister is the reason my uncle cannot find steady work. My uncle is a graduate but is always broke and often asks my sister for money. The mallam said my sister has hidden my uncle’s money and wealth in the marine world and even plans to kill him.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

The way things are going, we don’t feel safe in her house anymore. Unfortunately, we don’t have the money to relocate. So we are stuck with her whether or not we like it.
\n

My question is, how do we navigate living with her peacefully until we move out? Also, how can we reclaim what she has stolen from us in the spiritual realm while still living under her roof? I am looking for a safe way to live with a serpent until we are out of her clutches.

—Chichi

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", "keywords": "What’s, The, Best, Way, Live, Peacefully, With, Witch", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9279.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/whats-the-best-way-to-live-peacefully-with-a-witch/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:27:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84947", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Survived Jail but Now I’m Battling for the Woman I Love", "title_slug": "i-survived-jail-but-now-im-battling-for-the-woman-i-love", "title_hash": "d146579e71676ec2fa9eb291ac9d2067", "summary": "Some years ago, I met a beautiful woman whose smile lit up something deep inside me, and without wasting time, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I wasn’t interested …", "content": "

Some years ago, I met a beautiful woman whose smile lit up something deep inside me, and without wasting time, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I wasn’t interested in playing games or dragging my feet, so within months I proposed marriage and introduced myself to her family.

Things were good, and life felt like it was finally aligning, but everything changed when I ran into serious debt.

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The school I was running collapsed, and then came the arrest. I was jailed for six long months before I was granted bail, and at the time, my girlfriend was two months pregnant. I was on the verge of becoming a father, yet I was locked away in a place where hope felt like a distant echo. I didn’t know how she would survive the pregnancy alone, and I didn’t know how I would survive the shame and isolation.

When I got out, I tried to pick up the pieces of my life. I sold what little I had left, and I worked through crooks and corners, hustling to rebuild a life that had been shattered. It was progressive, and I was making small steps forward, but it was painfully hard. Life after confinement is not the same, and you walk differently, speak differently, and carry a weight that others cannot see.

She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and I saw it as a sign from God that as long as there is life, there is hope. I carried on, determined to be a better man and a better father. I wanted to marry her quickly and seal the bond with the woman who had stood by me, but her family began dragging their feet.

“Let the baby grow a little,” “Wait till he starts crawling.” The excuses kept coming, and they started to wear me down.

For two years, I didn’t even get to name my own child, and it took pleading and begging before I was allowed to give him my surname. Even then, the relationship with my mother-in-law had already crumbled. It went from a perfect ten to absolute zero, and she no longer respected me—not as the father of her grandson and not as the man who once catered for her before my downfall.

She said things that were meant to break me, and she made plans to keep me away from my son. Despite naming him after her, it felt like my presence was a crime. Maybe, just maybe, if I were a mother, I would understand her fear, and maybe I wouldn’t want someone who had done jail time to marry my daughter either, but it is hard to be judged solely by your lowest moment.

My family has witnessed all of this, and they have watched me love this woman and her family with everything I have. Slowly, they have withdrawn, and it feels like they are sitting on the wall, unsure whether to support me or stay silent.

I heard that a prophet once came to their church and asked why she was married, because in the spirit, he saw she already was. Her mother responded that the man was delaying the process, but in reality, I had already gone above and beyond.

So now I ask myself if I am doing enough or if I am doing too little. Is she unsatisfied with the lengths I have gone to for her daughter? I have cared for my son regardless of the rejection, and I have loved her through the silence, but I can no longer afford the desire to marry her. The past few years have drained me emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

And so I ask: would it be wise to move on from this relationship without pursuing marriage, even though I still care for my son and his mother? Would that make me a bad person, or is it the right step for my peace of mind and safety?

I don’t have all the answers, but I know this much: love should not feel like punishment, and sometimes walking away is the bravest thing a person can do.

—Kwesi

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#SB<>

", "keywords": ", Survived, Jail, but, Now, I’m, Battling, for, the, Woman, Love", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/5058.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-survived-jail-but-now-im-battling-for-the-woman-i-love/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-22 09:27:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84672", "lang_id": "1", "title": "COVID, MMRV Vaccine Guidelines Have Changed (Updated)", "title_slug": "covid-mmrv-vaccine-guidelines-have-changed-updated", "title_hash": "6e8633733f7f56fa5578818cd6f6cf82", "summary": "The CDC’s vaccine panel has updated its recommendations for who should get inoculated and when. Here’s what you need to know.\nThe post COVID, MMRV Vaccine Guidelines Have Changed (Updated) appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Federal vaccine recommendations for inoculation against COVID-19, measles, chickenpox, and other viruses have changed.

The new guidelines adjust who is advised to get vaccinated against these diseases—which can have serious health implications for pregnant people, fetuses, and newborns—under what conditions, and at what age.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), which is responsible for creating national vaccination guidelines for children and adults, convened in a raucous and occasionally chaotic meeting from Sept. 18-19 to review its current guidance.

The panel voted unanimously on Sept. 19 that decisions about whether patients should get a COVID-19 vaccine should be made on an individual basis, moving away from previous guidance that broadly recommended endorsed the vaccine’s use.

The day before, its members voted 8-3 to recommend against children under 4 receiving a combined measles, mumps, rubella, and varicella vaccine. (Varicella is the virus that can cause chickenpox and shingles.) A vote on hepatitis B was put off until a later date, following confusion and heated debate over proposed changes to guidance.

Rewire News Group spoke with two doctors about how changes to vaccine recommendations could affect the health of millions of reproductive-age people in the U.S.

Can pregnant people get the COVID vaccine?

Altering vaccination guidelines that had been in place following the outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic in 2020, the ACIP panel no longer broadly recommends the COVID-19 vaccine to multiple specific groups, including pregnant people and young children. Instead, it voted to leave the decision up to individuals and their health-care providers, in what’s often called “shared clinical decision making.” It also recommended that the CDC emphasize the vaccine’s drawbacks, but stopped short of outlining specific risks.

COVID-19 can have mild symptoms mimicking a cold or the flu—or it can cause pneumonia, organ failure, and even death. Contracting COVID-19 during pregnancy increases the risk of severe illness, and death, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the leading professional organization for U.S. OB-GYNs. COVID-19 during pregnancy is also linked to miscarriage, stillbirth, and other pregnancy complications.

ACOG began recommending the COVID-19 vaccine for most pregnant people in 2021, the same year it became widely available. Vaccination reduces the risk of severe illness and pregnancy complications, and some protection against the virus is passed along to newborns, who are not eligible for a COVID-19 vaccine until they reach 6 months of age.

Dr. Georges Benjamin, executive director of the American Public Health Association said, “Women of reproductive age … certainly are at risk of COVID and, in my view, should be vaccinated.”

When can kids get the MMRV vaccine?

The MMR and varicella vaccines are available in two separate shots or in a single, combined shot. The panel decided the combined vaccine shot should not be given to children under 4, after concerns were raised about an increased risk of febrile seizures associated with combining shots; evidence shows the risk of this complication is minor.

If contracted, these viruses can cause rash, fever, and swelling. Though rare, they can cause severe complications and death—sometimes years after recovering from the virus.

Previously, the CDC recommended children get two doses of MMR and varicella vaccines—one between 12 and 15 months of age, and a second between 4 and 6 years of age. And the recommendation schedule allowed parents and providers to decide whether a combined or a two-shot regimen was most appropriate for the child.

Measles was declared eliminated in the U.S. in 2000. But a recent measles outbreak in Texas that has infected more than 700 people since January 2025 led to about 100 hospitalizations; two children died. Declining vaccination rates are believed to have played a role in the outbreak.

Should newborns get the hepatitis B vaccine?

Current guidelines for the hepatitis B vaccine remain in place. The first dose is currently recommended to be given to infants shortly after birth.

Inoculation right after birth “maximizes the effectiveness of the vaccine in preventing newborn infection,” according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

After the newborn dose of the hepatitis B vaccine, CDC guidelines currently recommend a second dose between one and two months of age, and a final dose between 6-18 months of age.

“We don’t know where everybody gets it from,” Campbell added. “Giving all babies the vaccine protects them from both known and unknown risks for getting hepatitis B.”

Changes will have consequences, advocates warn

The ACIP meeting came amid a deliberate dismantling of the nation’s public health infrastructure under the Trump administration. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has long espoused anti-vaccine views that don’t comport with available scientific evidence.

In June 2025, Kennedy fired all 17 existing ACIP members citing “persistent conflicts of interest.” He’s since selected 12 new people to sit on the panel—many of whom have demonstrated vaccine skepticism or other fringe scientific views. The panel had already signaled an interest in relitigating its previous vaccine recommendations and schedules, especially for children.

Experts and advocates warn that the chaos, confusion, and disinformation surrounding vaccine recommendations under Kennedy’s leadership will further undermine public trust in vaccines. A recent Washington Post/KFF poll found that more than 15 percent of parents have delayed or skipped getting their kid a recommended childhood vaccine.

Changing regulations could also make it harder for patients who still want or need protection against these diseases to get inoculated.

Some leading health organizations will likely stick with their own vaccine guidance following the ACIP changes.

After Kennedy’s comments about pregnancy and the COVID-19 vaccine, ACOG in August 2025 reaffirmed its recommendation that pregnant and lactating people receive the COVID-19 vaccine and boosters.

“The full body of data clearly shows that the COVID-19 vaccines are not only completely safe for use during pregnancy but also protective both during pregnancy and after the infant is born,” Dr. Mark Turrentine, an OB-GYN who helped author ACOG’s guidance, said in a statement.

Likewise, there is ample scientific evidence to back up the current hepatitis B vaccination schedule.

“We’re very close to eliminating perinatal hepatitis B,” Campbell told Rewire News Group. “It will be a step backwards if we decide to undo all that’s been done over the years for no reason.”

The post COVID, MMRV Vaccine Guidelines Have Changed (Updated) appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Boom! Lawyered is back for its ninth season! In this episode, Imani and Jess explain why they believe we’re living through a “Deconstruction era”—think Reconstruction era, but in reverse—and what that means for our public institutions and the rule of law.

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Imani is relaunching her column! AngryBlackLady Chronicles will drop in September 2025. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first.

The post We’re in the ‘Deconstruction Era’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Three major vaccine recommendations are up for reconsideration—and experts say they’re likely to change under the Trump administration.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), which is responsible for creating national vaccination guidelines for children and adults, is scheduled to meet in Atlanta on Sept. 18 and 19.

The panel will likely vote on whether to uphold or alter guidance for four vaccines: hepatitis B, COVID-19, MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella), and varicella (the virus that can cause chickenpox and shingles), according to the most recent CDC agenda. These viruses can have serious health implications for pregnant people, fetuses, and newborn babies.

Rewire News Group spoke with two doctors about what could happen when the vaccine panel meets, and how potential changes to vaccine recommendations could affect the health of millions of reproductive-age people in the U.S.

Hepatitis B can be transmitted during birth

Discussion of the hepatitis B vaccine is slated to focus on the newborn dose of the drug, which is given to infants shortly after birth. Hepatitis B is transmitted through blood and sexual fluids, and can spread from a pregnant person to their infant both in utero and during childbirth. If untreated, the inflammation caused by chronic hepatitis B infection can lead to scarring of the liver that causes the organ to fail.

The CDC currently recommends a first dose of the hepatitis B vaccine at birth, a second dose between one and two months of age, and a final dose between 6-18 months of age. Inoculation right after birth “maximizes the effectiveness of the vaccine in preventing newborn infection,” according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

Before 1991, when the U.S. launched a vaccination program designed to stamp out hepatitis B infections acquired during pregnancy and childbirth, roughly 18,000 to -20,000 babies were diagnosed each year, said Dr. James Campbell, the vice chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ committee on infectious diseases. Today, only 20 to 30 are.

“We don’t know where everybody gets it from,” Campbell added. “Giving all babies the vaccine protects them from both known and unknown risks for getting hepatitis B.”

COVID-19 can be dangerous during pregnancy

ACOG began recommending the COVID-19 vaccine for most pregnant people in 2021, the same year it became widely available. Vaccination reduces the risk of severe illness and pregnancy complications, and some protection against the virus is passed along to newborns. Babies are not eligible for a COVID-19 vaccine until 6 months of age.

Dr. Georges Benjamin, executive director of the American Public Health Association said, “Women of reproductive age … certainly are at risk of COVID and, in my view, should be vaccinated.”

Measles, mumps, rubella, and varicella

ACIP is also expected to discuss the MMR and varicella vaccines, which are available in two separate shots or in a single, combined shot. One vaccine expert told POLITICO that he worries the panel could take the decision over which shot to use away from parents and health-care providers.

If contracted, these viruses can cause rash, fever, and swelling. Though rare, they can cause severe complications and death—sometimes years after recovering from the virus.

The CDC currently recommends children get two doses of MMR and varicella vaccines—one between 12 and 15 months of age, and a second between 4 and 6 years of age.

Changes will have consequences, advocates warn

The ACIP meeting comes amid a deliberate dismantling of the nation’s public health infrastructure under the Trump administration. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has long espoused anti-vaccine views that don’t comport with available scientific evidence.

In June 2025, Kennedy fired all 17 existing ACIP members citing “persistent conflicts of interest.” He’s since selected 12 new people to sit on the panel—many of whom have demonstrated vaccine skepticism or other fringe scientific views. The panel has already signaled an interest in relitigating its previous vaccine recommendations and schedules, especially for children.

Changing regulations could also make it harder for patients who still want or need protection against these diseases to get inoculated.

The recommendations for COVID-19 vaccines, both for pregnant people and young children have been in flux for months. In May 2025, Kennedy abruptly reversed guidelines, stating the CDC would no longer recommend the COVID-19 vaccine for healthy pregnant people.

What experts are saying

The Washington Post reported on Sept. 12 that Trump health officials plan to link the COVID-19 vaccine to the deaths of 25 children during the upcoming ACIP meeting.

Leading health organizations are sticking with their guidance: ACOG in August 2025 reaffirmed its recommendation that pregnant and lactating people receive the COVID-19 vaccine and boosters.

One former high-level CDC official told NPR he expects the panel to delay the first dose of the hepatitis B vaccine.

“We’re very close to eliminating perinatal hepatitis B,” Campbell told RNG. “It will be a step backwards if we decide to undo all that’s been done over the years for no reason.”

The post Vaccine Guidelines for COVID, Measles, and Hepatitis B Under Review by CDC Panel appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Sens. Tammy Baldwin, a Democrat, and Lisa Murkowski, a Republican, introduced a bipartisan bill on Wednesday to re-establish national emergency suicide prevention services for LGBTQ+ youth—which have been stripped by the Trump administration at a time when the vulnerable group needs it most.

In July, the Trump administration terminated the 988 hotline’s LGBTQ+ services, which connected young people in crisis with counselors trained in supporting LGBTQ+ youth. This new bill, backed by the LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention organization Trevor Project as well as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, would modify the Public Health Service Act to reinstate those services and require the Secretary of Health and Human Services to maintain them. The bill now moves to committee.

The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people seriously consider suicide each year in the United States, as they face high rates of bullying, assault, and discrimination. And when the 2024 presidential race was called for Donald Trump, calls and texts to the Trevor Project’s own crisis hotlines spiked by 700 percent, as LGBTQ+ youth felt afraid about the outcome of the election.

“Given that LGBTQ+ youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers, the need for these services remains pressing,” said Jaymes Black, CEO of The Trevor Project, in a statement. “This is not about politics, or identity; this is about doing what is best to support our country’s highest risk populations—and save young people’s lives nationwide.”

During his first term in 2020, President Trump signed a bipartisan law to create 988 as a more accessible resource for mental health emergencies. The free hotline launched in July 2022. Since then, millions of people in crisis have turned to 988. And nearly 1.5 million of those calls, texts, and chats were sent by young Americans seeking specialized LGBTQ+ services.

“We are in the middle of a mental health crisis, and the 988 lifeline saves lives, plain and simple,” said Baldwin, who wrote the original legislation to create the 988 hotline. Cutting funds for specialized services within 988 puts the lifeline in jeopardy, she said in a statement.

“There is absolutely no good reason that Donald Trump took away this specialized help for our LGBTQ youth. Mental health does not see partisan lines or geography,” the Wisconsin Democrat added.

The post Bipartisan Bill Seeks to Reinstate National Suicide Hotline for LGBTQ+ Youth appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"the$ A high-risk, high-reward tactic: learn when and how to break the rule of messaging girls on Friday night for surprising results (dates, lays, & more).

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Messaging, Girls, Friday, Night", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "88", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/friday-night-message-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-messaging-girls-friday-night", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 10:44:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84172", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Benefits of Having Consistent Intimacy With Your Partner", "title_slug": "9-benefits-of-having-consistent-intimacy-with-your-partner", "title_hash": "6bbdeb034ec7d49cda0ef60492f46ec7", "summary": "Let’s be real, intimacy isn’t just about passion. It’s about connection, rhythm, and the little rituals that bring…", "content": "Let’s be real, intimacy isn’t just about passion. It’s about connection, rhythm, and the little rituals that bring…", "keywords": ", Benefits, Having, Consistent, Intimacy, With, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/in-love-e1758039924380.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-benefits-of-having-consistent-intimacy-with-your-partner/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 10:44:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84173", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs That a Guy Is a Creeper", "title_slug": "10-signs-that-a-guy-is-a-creeper", "title_hash": "6e6740f5e45fe21f6fc804e023a8658d", "summary": "Some guys think they’re smooth, but everyone else can feel the weird energy dripping off them like bad…", "content": "Some guys think they’re smooth, but everyone else can feel the weird energy dripping off them like bad…", "keywords": ", Signs, That, Guy, Creeper", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/creeper-thumb-e1758038361273.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-that-a-guy-is-a-creeper/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 10:44:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84169", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Weighted Vests Are Trending on TikTok — But Do They Actually Work?", "title_slug": "weighted-vests-are-trending-on-tiktok-but-do-they-actually-work", "title_hash": "142d0c791723d5e83c2ff9402170cf98", "summary": "They Definitely Look Cool But There Are Some Downsides You Should Be Aware Of Before You Buy One", "content": "Health and wellness trends on TikTok come and go — some coming with science-based merit and others, well, seeming to be popularized just for the sake of virality. One of the latest fitness trends on the social media app is bringing back an old classic: the weighted vest.\r\nVideos highlighting total body transformations after a 30-day weighted vest challenge are juxtaposed with posts showcasing the benefits of wearing weighted vests in middle age, as individuals go about their day-to-day activities while strapped into the simple equipment.\r\nBut do weighted vests actually work — and, more importantly, are they really safe enough for everyone to just strap one on and go? We spoke to a senior physical therapist and an award-winning personal trainer to understand exactly how a weighted vest can enhance your workout and what to keep in mind before adding one to your cart.\r\nRELATED: Strength Training Accessories That Actually Work\r\nHere’s what you need to know about training with a weighted vest, how to get started, and what to keep in mind (especially if you have any pre-existing physical conditions) before you jump onto the latest TikTok fitness trend:\r\n\r\nWhy Weighted Vests Could Improve Your Training\r\n\r\n“Weighted vests are another modality, like free weights, therapy bands and tubes, that can enhance your exercise experience and assist with attaining individual fitness goals,” explains Joseph Giglio, MA, MS, DPT, CWS, associate director of inpatient physical therapy at Stony Brook Medicine. “Weighted vests range from a few pounds to 50 pounds and are mostly used while walking.”\r\nAccording to Giglio, weighted vests, when properly fitted and used responsibly, can increase exercise intensity and may also assist with:\r\nBuilding Muscle Strength and Endurance\r\nThe added weight strapped to your chest — even if you’re just wearing it around the house to start — will force your muscles to work harder and naturally engage better by adding additional resistance to your movement.\r\nImproving Bone Density\r\nUsing a weighted vest during strength training could also help with improving bone density, says Giglio. The additional weight causes a larger impact on your bones, which helps to promote denser and stronger bones overall.\r\nImproving Cardiovascular Fitness\r\n“Weighted vests can be used to achieve a ‘better’ or, I would prefer to say, a more intense workout,” says Giglio. “Picture climbing 13 steps without a weight and then with a 10-20 lb weight.” Even wearing a weighted vest during regular strength training will improve overall cardiovascular fitness.\r\nImproving Posture and Balance\r\nYour weighted vest could also help improve your posture, balance, and agility, says Giglio. The additional weight causes your body to naturally use more energy to keep your balance, while the weight on the chest helps open up the shoulders and chest to promote more upright posture — even when you’re not wearing the vest.\r\nEnhanced Calorie Expenditure\r\nThe additional weight you’ll be carrying while working out or doing day-to-day activities in a weighted vest will naturally increase your calorie expenditure as well. The extra resistance will force your body to work harder than it normally would, increasing overall calories burned.\r\n\r\nWhen You Should Be Careful Using a Weighted Vest\r\n\r\n“Weighted vests are great tools but they’re not for everyone. Always start light, listen to your body, and stop if you feel pain,” says Will Duru, award-winning personal trainer and founder of the 12Reps App. “If you have any injuries, talk to a trainer first. Don’t risk making things worse. Your health comes first.”\r\nHere’s how Duru determines whether or not his clients should work out using a weighted vest — and the potential risks involved. If you have any of the following pre-existing conditions or tendencies, a weighted vest might not be the best option for ramping up your workout:\r\nShoulder Pain\r\nVests can hurt your shoulders — they’re heavy after all. “The weight sits on your shoulders and upper back,” explains Duru. “If you already have shoulder pain, don’t use one. It will make it worse.”\r\nJoint Stress\r\n“The extra weight that comes from a weighted vest puts stress on your joints,” says Duru. “When you do push-ups, your wrists and elbows work harder. When you run, your knees and ankles take more impact. You need to be careful.” To avoid excessive stress on your joints, Duru suggests starting lightly and building up slowly.\r\nLower Back Problems\r\n“I always check if my clients have back problems first. If they do, we find other ways to train,” says Duru. “If you have back problems, simply don’t use a weighted vest.” According to Duru, the weight from a weighted vest pulls you forward, forcing your back to work harder to keep you upright, which can ultimately hurt your spine.\r\n“When used properly, weighted vests can transform your fitness,” adds Duru. “They make you stronger, they make you fitter, they help you reach your goals faster. Just remember to be sensible about it.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nUnderstanding the “Fibermaxxing” TrendGym Bag Essentials for MenWhat Is the Dead Hang TikTok Challenge?", "keywords": "Weighted, Vests, Are, Trending, TikTok, —, But, They, Actually, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/weighted-vests-are-trending-on-tiktok-but-do-they-actually-work/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758115430.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/weighted-vests-are-trending-on-tiktok-but-do-they-actually-work.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 10:44:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84170", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Use Tinder for Hooking Up (and More)", "title_slug": "how-to-use-tinder-for-hooking-up-and-more", "title_hash": "3ed66922110b83e47b2ae4ff6ba0c9fa", "summary": "Founded over a decade ago now, Tinder has gone from a revolutionary new dating app to a cultural phenomenon that’s changed the way people date, to a behemoth app that’s fighting off competitors as it strives to stay atop the online dating pyramid. \r\nIn that span, it’s hard to argue that Tinder has become the go-to app for people looking to date, hook up, find a long-term relationship, or simply see what kind of interesting singles might be in their area, despite lacking many features of the dating sites it left in its dust. \r\nThat’s because its so-called “killer app” — the core functionality it had that others didn’t — allowed it to develop a strong reputation and user base that have not yet been eroded away by other apps. Which is to say, now, as ever, the ability to find people near you and discover if there’s mutual interest is an unbeatable tool when it comes to online dating. \r\nRELATED: How to Tell If She's Genuinely Interested in You or Just Being Polite\r\nYes, Tinder is an always", "content": "Founded over a decade ago now, Tinder has gone from a revolutionary new dating app to a cultural phenomenon that’s changed the way people date, to a behemoth app that’s fighting off competitors as it strives to stay atop the online dating pyramid. \r\nIn that span, it’s hard to argue that Tinder has become the go-to app for people looking to date, hook up, find a long-term relationship, or simply see what kind of interesting singles might be in their area, despite lacking many features of the dating sites it left in its dust. \r\nThat’s because its so-called “killer app” — the core functionality it had that others didn’t — allowed it to develop a strong reputation and user base that have not yet been eroded away by other apps. Which is to say, now, as ever, the ability to find people near you and discover if there’s mutual interest is an unbeatable tool when it comes to online dating. \r\nRELATED: How to Tell If She's Genuinely Interested in You or Just Being Polite\r\nYes, Tinder is an always-available, pocket-sized method for finding the person of your dreams — or, at the very least, a regret-free hookup — but the app can be frustrating when you don’t completely understand its functionality. To ensure you get the most out of your experience, we’ve compiled a comprehensive guide to dating with Tinder.\r\nHere’s everything you need to know, from how to use Tinder to how to get matches, and how to move from the app to the real world:\r\n\r\n\r\nContents\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\tDoes Tinder Work for Guys?\r\n\tCrafting Your Tinder Profile\r\n\tHow to Use Tinder\r\n\tFrequently Asked Tinder Questions\r\n\tSending the Right First Tinder Message\r\n\tTips for Landing a Tinder Date\r\n\tBest Alternatives to Tinder\r\n\tMore Tinder Info\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nDoes Tinder Work for Guys?\r\n\r\nThe first question on the minds of plenty of guys is, \"Does this thing even work!?\" The answer is clear: Yes, it does, but that depends on a few key components entirely under your control. That includes your profile, swiping strategy and messaging technique, as well as first clarifying what you even mean by \"work.\" Let's take a closer look at how people use Tinder for different outcomes before moving on to some tips for getting matches:\r\nIs Tinder for Dating or Hooking Up?\r\nThere is some confusion about what Tinder is even for. Is it for serious dating, or just for casual hook ups? The short answer is both: You can use Tinder for a variety of reasons, varying from making friends to something casual to dating with the intention of finding your forever person. While Tinder started life as a hookup app, it's no longer appropriate to assume that everyone who is using it is looking for sex — some really are just looking to extend their social network.\r\nHow Do You Know Why Someone Is on Tinder?\r\nIf Tinder is used for so many different purposes, how can you tell whether the person in your match list are looking for friendship, hook ups or serious dating? Well, there are a few key signs and phrases. For example, if you see the phrase \"no ONS\" on Tinder, that stands for \"no one-night stands,\" and means that person is unlikely to be interested in casual sex. The same goes for phrases like \"no hook ups,\" \"seeking something serious or long-term\" and \"no players\" — anything along these lines will indicate something more serious. Equally, someone hinting at casual sex or a one-night stand will probably use wording like \"no strings\" or \"casual fun only,\" or less explicitly, with phrases like \"only here for a good time.\"\r\nWhat Are You Looking For?\r\nYou can use Tinder for any of the above reasons, but it pays to be clear with yourself and everyone else; if you know exactly what you're looking for, you'll have a better chance of finding it. If you're not looking for anything more than hooking up, you should make that clear, ideally in your bio (\"not looking for anything serious,\" \"seeking hook ups\") or at least once you start chatting to your matches (more on that below). If you're looking to date seriously, that should also be immediately evident to anyone interacting with you.\r\n\r\nOnce you're clear about what you want and you've made sure everyone else is, you're going to need to craft the perfect profile to maximize your chance of getting matches:\r\n\r\nCrafting Your Tinder Profile\r\n\r\nIf you’re one of the few remaining singles on Earth still unexperienced with Tinder, the first step is to create the best possible profile with the best possible pictures. Yes, Tinder is largely a looks-based endeavor (most dating apps are) and can sometimes feel superficial for that reason, but remember: It's not really any different to meeting someone at a party or bar. You tend to approach the people you find physically attractive in real life, and then talk to them to see if there's a deeper connection, right? It's the same story with Tinder. Make sure that you’re creating an excellent first impression by following these Tinder photo tips:\r\n\r\nLead Photo\r\nIt's important to use a flattering (but not misleading) picture of yourself in your profile, and starting with a clear, well-composed, smiling image is your best bet. Make sure that your leading pic is a solo shot without other people in it — you don't want potential matches to fall in love with your best friend. \r\nRELATED: How a Bad Tinder Profile Photo Can Ruin Your Dating Chances\r\nHelpfully, Tinder has a \"smart photo\" function which continually tests the success rate of the photos you’ve uploaded to your profile, and automatically shows your best-performing photo to other users first. It’s well worth enabling this function as it doesn’t cost anything extra, and Tinder claims that it boosts right swipes by 12 percent. Like it or not, choosing the right Tinder pictures is the key to your online dating success.\r\nPhoto Diversity\r\nIdeally, you want to take advantage of all the photo slots Tinder offers you to provide as much information as possible to potential matches. Consider that your pictures give away crucial information not just about what you look like, but also how you like to spend your time, matches are going to form a certain impression of you depending on whether you're squatting in the gym, splayed out on a beach with friends or chugging back beer at the game. \r\nDon’t partake in kittenfishing — the lite version of catfishing — by uploading misleadingly flattering photos, and make sure your images are recent enough to show what you look like now. Remember, there’s no point in being dishonest. It’s all going to come out in the wash when you meet a match IRL, so be upfront from the start. If you're really having trouble selecting photos, you could consider linking your profile to your Instagram account.\r\nBio\r\n\r\nYour bio is optional, but we highly recommended including one. You’re allowed up to 500 words to showcase your dazzling personality here, but we’d suggest you err on the side of relative brevity as online daters don't want to read a novel while they’re swiping. Make your bio about you, and keep it short, simple and friendly — it's a bonus if it's funny, but you don't want to come across as trying too hard, either.\r\n\r\nHow to Use Tinder\r\n\r\nDepending on how much money you're willing to spend, Tinder has several useful options to maximize your chance of getting matches. The Boost function can help for accumulating matches as it pushes you to the front of the match line for people in your area for half an hour. After the Boost session is over, you will see stats on how much more exposure your profile got (4x, 8x, etc), to ensure you got your money's worth. Of course, you have to pay for the privilege, and free users cannot dictate where in the queue their profiles appear.\r\n\r\nOne potential pitfall of Tinder is that swiping becomes so reflexive that it is easy to accidentally swipe left on someone because you’re going too fast. In those cases, Tinder’s Rewind function is invaluable — hand over a few bucks, and you can recover the person of your dreams that you accidentally swiped left on (free users will simply need to slow down and pay attention to what they’re doing).\r\nIf you’re willing to pay for Tinder’s subscription services, Tinder Plus or Tinder Gold, you can unlock the Passport function, which allows you to swipe in different cities and countries. So, for example, you could be in London but visiting New York in a week’s time, and Passport will let you start swiping on New York-based profiles from across the pond.\r\nHowever, even if you’re not willing to pay to use Tinder, there are some swiping strategies that are available to you. One is to use the Super Like function, which tells a user you really like them, bringing you to the front of their queue (free users get one Super Like per day). Another is to bear in mind that those who've already swiped right on you are likely to show up near the beginning of your queue, so it’s worth paying careful attention to profiles that appear early in your swiping session. That being said, constantly right-swiping to game the system is a bad idea as it just means you'll match with those you may not be interested in. Swipe right only on people you genuinely hope to match with, so that when you see that coveted, \"Congratulations! It's a match!\" alert, it actually means something.\r\nTinder Plus\r\nTinder has now introduced a \"Tinder Plus\" option: A paid version of the app which gives you various benefits — at a cost, of course. \r\nSo, what are the advantages to Tinder Plus that make it worth all that extra money? Here are some of the touted benefits:\r\nMatch Around the World\r\nOne coveted benefit of Tinder Plus is the ability to match with users around the world, as opposed to just in your area. So, if you live in California but have an upcoming holiday in Paris, for example, you can start swiping in Paris and accumulating matches before you even arrive. Tinder is truly a global dating service.\r\nRewind Left Swipes\r\nAnother prized feature of Tinder Plus is the ability to rewind your last swipe. This means that if you accidentally swipe left on a user and instantly regret it (because you're swiping too fast, perhaps), you can \"rewind\" the swipe, bringing that user back into view so that you can correct your mistake and swipe right instead.\r\n\r\nSuper Likes\r\nTinder Plus also allows you to send more Super Likes. Hit the blue star instead of the green check mark and you will show up near the beginning of this specific Tinder user's queue with a notification that you used your Super Like. The Super Like helps you show a potential match that you are definitely interested, and it will guarantee that you are made visible without a guarantee that they'll swipe right on you (sorry, but no Tinder feature can force a right swipe or guarantee a match!)\r\nTinder Plus users get five Super Likes per day compared to the sole daily Super Like allotted to regular users.\r\nBoosts\r\nTinder Plus users get one free \"boost\" a week, which means that Tinder will make you the top profile in your area for 30 minutes. Ordinary Tinder users can also pay for individual boosts via the app at a rate that changes depending on how many boosts you buy. This is a way to potentially get more matches by making you much more visible to other users, but again, it's no guarantee, so spend wisely.\r\nTurning Off Ads\r\nTinder Plus users won't see ads. This is perhaps the least tempting of Tinder Plus' range of benefits as ads are a relatively minor annoyance for regular users, but it still doesn't hurt.\r\nSwipe Life\r\n\r\nTo assist users in their dating lives, Tinder has launched a lifestyle website, Swipe Life, a resource where singles can visit for advice when navigating dating in the digital space. The website offers date ideas, dating stories, the best restaurants and bars for dates in different cities and a whole bunch of fun and playful content catering to the general Tinder users.\r\n\r\nFrequently Asked Tinder Questions\r\n\r\nSo is everything crystal clear? We won't blame you if all of the above sounds pretty confusing, as Tinder is becoming ever more complicated and laden with new features. While you should be able to understand the basic mechanics of using the app now, there are still some common questions on people's minds when it comes to using Tinder:\r\nIf You Swipe Left, Are They Gone Forever?\r\nOne question on the minds of many men is the permanence of the left swipe. If I'm not interested in someone and swipe left, does this mean I can't change my mind at a later point?\r\nThe short answer is yes: Once you swipe left on someone, they are gone and will not return to your queue. However, there are two caveats. The first is that Tinder Plus users can rewind swipes, as mentioned above, so if you think you accidentally swiped left on your soulmate, you're going to need to shell out some cash for the ability to rewind.\r\nRELATED: Check Out AskMen's Official Tinder Review\r\nThe second is that Tinder is still a bit buggy, and from time to time users have reported seeing left-swiped users popping back up into their queue. It's also possible to delete your account and start again with a fresh account, meaning that you will have a chance of seeing someone you swiped left on once again. However, these are not rock solid options, and there's no guaranteed way to revisit a left-swiped user — unless you have Tinder Plus, that is.\r\nIf You Swipe Left, Can They See You?\r\nA Tinder user will not be notified or otherwise alerted if you swipe left on them, meaning that you don't need to feel too worried about hurting someone's feelings. Obviously, if someone swipes right on you and you aren't a match, they'll know that you haven't swiped right, but this could be for a variety of reasons: Either you haven't seen their profile yet, or you are not a frequent user of the app, or you have indeed swiped left for a variety of potential reasons. \r\nHow Do You Know If Someone Swiped Right on You?\r\nThe only way that you can tell for sure if someone has swiped right on you is to swipe right on them, too. However, we'll let you in on a secret: People who've already swiped right on you are likely to show up near the beginning of your queue, so it could be worth paying careful attention to them as you are likelier to be a match.\r\nHow Long Does It Take to Get a Match?\r\nThere is no set answer for how long it takes to get matches on Tinder. In fact, there's no rock solid guarantee you will get matches at all. However, if you have a strong profile and sound swiping strategy, you could theoretically be getting matches as soon as you start swiping, though for most people, it will take from a few hours to a few days to start seeing results.\r\nHow Long Do Matches Stay?\r\nTinder matches and any associated messages will remain until either you or your match deletes their Tinder account. Tinder users also have the option of \"unmatching\" users, which means that even if you become a match, either one of you can change your mind and unmatch the other. Otherwise, Tinder matches hang around until you decide to finally strike up a conversation, unlike other apps such as Bumble which instill a time limitation.\r\nWhy Don't You Have Matches Yet?\r\nIf you have been using Tinder for a while and still don't have any matches, you'll need to reevaluate your profile. Check out the profile section above, and perhaps even consult a friend or two who could help make your profile more attractive and appealing.\r\nCan You Find People You Know on Tinder?\r\nIt's perfectly possible to see someone you know appearing on your queue on Tinder. If one of your friends or coworkers lives in your area and happens to be on Tinder with the same age and gender parameters as you, they may well appear in your queue, and vice versa. That's just how social media works, folks!\r\nSome people find the prospect of being seen on Tinder slightly embarrassing, but there's really no reason to. It's a hugely popular dating app and people use it for a variety of different reasons, plus your friend or coworker is also a user! If you see someone you know, you could swipe right and have a laugh about it if you match, or else just swipe left and forget about it.\r\nShould I Swipe Right on Everyone to Get More Matches?\r\n\r\nConstantly right-swiping to game the system is a bad idea. Swiping right indiscriminately just means you'll match with people you may not be interested in, which is annoying for them and you, wasting their time and clogging up your messages. Swipe right only on those you genuinely hope to match with so that when you see that coveted, \"Congratulations! It's a match!\" alert, it actually means something. Not only that, but new iterations of the app penalize indiscriminate swipers, so you're better off being choosy.\r\n\r\nSending the Right First Tinder Message\r\n\r\nSuccess! You've matched with that hottie with cute photos and a witty bio, and now you're in the enviable position of being able to talk to them directly. Don't rest on your laurels just because you know they've swiped right on you, though, as you can make or break the match depending on your approach. A lazy or creepy opener might even mean that they unmatch you, blocking you from any further contact.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk to Girls on Tinder, Explained\r\nYour opening line is crucial. Your matches are likely to have dozens of other potential prospects in their Tinder messages section, most of whom will be approaching with a tired, “Hey,” or, “How are you?” There’s no need to overcook it by opening the conversation with a sonnet, but it will work in your favor if you approach in a friendly, novel and interested way. Try asking an unusual question, like “If you won a million dollars today, what’s the first thing you’d do?” or compliment a particular detail in one of their photos (“That’s a really cute French bulldog! Is it yours?”)\r\nA disappointing number of male Tinder users think it's appropriate to start a conversation with lewd innuendo and overtly sexual \"compliments\" right off the bat.\r\nGuys, please: Don't start a conversation like this. Not every person is on Tinder looking for casual sex, but even those who are keen on a no-strings hookup are unlikely to be swept off their feet by a rude and juvenile approach. Make your approach flirty and friendly, and definitely avoid the negging strategy advocated by so-called pickup artists: Backhanded compliments are not going to endear you to anyone at the best of times, but they might be even worse on Tinder or other dating apps, where you can easily be unmatched with a couple of finger taps. Be positive, complimentary and charismatic instead.\r\nAnother thing to bear in mind when talking to your Tinder matches is that defensive, passive aggressive opening lines are fairly common, but rarely ever work: \"Quite a lot of selfies you've got there,\" for example, or \"I guess I'll get the ball rolling because women never start talking first.\"\r\n\r\nDon't dump your frustrations onto your poor, unsuspecting Tinder match! Instead, spend a minute or two crafting something friendly and subtly flirty (or check out these Tinder conversation starters for ideas), and finish with a question to keep the banter flowing. Being kind and showing enough genuine interest to keep the conversation rolling is a winning strategy and should help to convert your matches into IRL dates.\r\n\r\nHow to Land a Tinder Date\r\n\r\nHopefully your opening line (or theirs!) has progressed into a natural, lively conversation, and you're now both interested enough in each other to go on a first date. It can be a useful first step to exchange phone numbers so that you can text or chat over the phone, because Tinder’s messaging system can make for slow-moving and disjointed conversation. Apart from that, Tinder dates work like any other: Think of something pleasant to do, and show up on the agreed time and date, looking sharp and ready to have a great time.\r\nWhen to Ask Them Out\r\nThere's wiggle room here, and every user will have a different idea of the ideal time to progress from Tinder conversation to an IRL date. However, it's not out-of-place to ask for a date within a day or two of chatting, or even an hour or two if things are going brilliantly. If you're really hitting it off and you've had a great conversation, it's fine to say something like, \"You seem really cool! Would you like to grab a drink sometime?\"\r\nDon't be too perturbed or offended if they say no — some are cagey about people from Tinder and may wish to wait a while before bringing it into the IRL realm, while others will relish the opportunity to meet in person. You really just have to try your luck by asking.\r\nWhere Should We Meet?\r\nYou are much more likely to convince someone to meet with you IRL if you suggest meeting at a cafe or bar rather than at your house or hotel room. Even those who are interested in using Tinder for casual sex are unlikely to want to come straight to your bedroom for a variety of reasons including their own safety. Remember, you two are essentially still strangers even if you've had a lively conversation on Tinder, so take things slowly and be sensible. In short, meet in public.\r\nHow Many People Actually Meet Through Tinder?\r\nFor fairly obvious reasons, it's impossible to know with any certainty how many people are actually meeting up with their Tinder matches. But rest assured that it's happening — ask any of your friends or coworkers who use the app and they can regale you with stories about their Tinder dates, both good and bad, and Tinder's Twitter account even claims that the app is leading to a \"sh*t ton\" of marriages (although hard data is thin on the ground here).\r\nSo that's how Tinder works: From swiping to crafting your profile all the way through to sending the perfect opener and setting up a great date, we've got you covered. Tinder can be as effective in finding a new relationship as more traditional dating sites like Zoosk. Stick to the advice above and you can't go too far wrong.\r\nRead the full AskMen review of Tinder here\r\n\r\nIt’s true that Tinder can be frustrating and that some users are time-wasters, but it can also be an incredible way to meet people who you would otherwise never have encountered. Once you have a handle on how the technology works, simple, timeworn techniques are still what it takes to make approaching dates rewarding rather than scary. Be warm, interested and gracious in the face of rejection, and it's hard to imagine things going too badly for you. Now, get swiping!\r\n\r\nBest Alternatives to Tinder\r\n\r\nOf course, Tinder isn't the only option out there, and in fact the user experience can be pretty exhausting. Tinder is hugely popular and has its perks — an intuitive interface, millions of users and the fact that most features are free, for a start — but there are real downsides, too, and the fast pace, unresponsiveness, superficiality and difficulty of transitioning into IRL might start to get you wondering what else is out there in terms of dating tools.\r\nWell, there are plenty of other options if you know where to look. Check out the following alternatives:\r\nMatch\r\n\r\nMatch.com has all of the usual features of a reliable dating site, but one advantage that stands out in particular: you get a generous six-month money back guarantee. So, you can really experiment with how things are going for you and how much luck you're having on the site before you have to truly commit — financially, that is.\r\nWhile approval on the site is not instant and the month-to-month costs are higher than average once you are approved, you're in for a strong user experience once you're in the ranks: a continually improved algorithm guides your matches and incorporates user feedback and behavior, and new features are being added all the time.\r\nClick here to check out Match.com\r\nHinge\r\n\r\nBilling itself as an app that wants you to delete it, Hinge has developed a strong reputation in recent years as a mobile-first dating destination. It boasts a top-of-the-line user interface and design, a sizeable user base and, if you're in your 20s or 30s and looking for love, should be considered a must (at least for testing it out.) \r\nFree users only get a handful of likes a day, but its algorithm does do a better job of showing you people you're likely to get along with than Tinder does, and the paid upgrade easily compete's with Tinder's as one of the best around.\r\nClick here to check out Hinge\r\nZoosk\r\n\r\nZoosk was voted the #1 dating site in AskMen's awards for a reason: it has a large member base and user-friendly mobile app, a layout that's easy on the eye and simple to navigate, and multiple options for promoting your profile and increasing your chances of getting matches.\r\nYou are going to need to do things the old fashioned way and browse profiles one-by-one, but, hey, that might actually be a good thing after the indiscriminate swiping that goes on on Tinder. Zoosk is well worth a try.\r\nClick here to check out Zoosk.com\r\nBumble\r\n\r\nIf you've heard of Tinder, there's a decent chance you've heard of Bumble too, which has long been billed as the \"feminist Tinder,\" since its founding premise was that women had to message first once two users matched in order to kick off the convo. \r\nRecognition of queer daters has led to a softening of this stance, but straight guys still have to wait for women to send the first message. Regardless, it remains a solid alternative to Tinder, with a vast user base, uncomplicated UI and generally slightly classier feel than its red-logoed competitor.\r\nClick here to check out Bumble\r\nEliteSingles\r\n\r\nTargeting a sophisticated, slightly older market, Elite Singles is the go-to site for serious and professional singles looking for a genuine connection.\r\nThe site uses a questionnaire that analyzes 29 character traits and matches you accordingly — there's a commendable focus on personality rather than looks alone here — and while the signup process is admittedly lengthy, you'll be browsing comprehensive profiles of women who are serious about dating once you're in — no time-wasters or ghosters here!\r\nClick here to check out EliteSingles.com\r\nGrindr\r\n\r\nThe app that started the location-based hookup-centered online dating craze wasn't Tinder, it was Grindr — an app for helping gay guys find fellow gay guys looking for fun. \r\nIf you've mostly experienced sex and dating with women but have been feeling curious about what it'd be like to play with another guy, maybe it's time to try Grindr out. There's a reason it's still the No. 1 gay destination after all these years.\r\nClick here to check out Grindr\r\nAdultFriendFinder\r\n\r\nOn the sexier side, AdultFriendFinder is the go-to avenue if you're looking to explore your fetishes, or if you'd like to facilitate various sexual arrangements online. It's a reputable site with a large, loyal, open-minded membership — we're not talking some sleazy internet corner here — and you can express your sexual self through profiles, blogs, webcams and more.\r\nNo one's 100% sure on the male-to-female ratio (the data isn't publicly available), but it's worth checking out if you're wanting to explore your more primal side in a safe environment.\r\nCheck out AdultFriendFinder\r\nFeeld\r\n\r\nOriginally created as 3nder, a threesome-focused version of Tinder, Feeld has blossomed into perhaps the premier destination for non-monogamous dating online. \r\nIt's still a great place to find people looking for a three-way, but now it's also a hot spot for finding queer and kinky people looking for any and all kinds of experiences outside of heteronormative monogamy, from vanilla swingers to people seeking their BDSM soulmate, and everything in between.\r\nCheck out Feeld\r\n\r\n\r\nMore Tinder Info\r\n\r\nNot quite satisfied? No worries! We’ve got more Tinder content for you. \r\nTinder’s LGBTQ Efforts\r\nThe most recent additions to Tinder are designed protect and better include the LGBTQ community (who account for an estimated 24 percent of the U.S. population) in an effort to facilitate the company’s belief that “everyone should be able to love who they want to love.” \r\nILGA’s executive director, André du Plessis, praised Tinder’s effort, saying, “We work hard to change practices, laws and attitudes that put LGBTQ people at risk — including the use of dating apps to target our community — but in the meantime, the safety of our communities also depends on supporting their digital safety.” The following are Tinder’s efforts to support and protect the LGBT community.\r\nOrientation\r\nTinder partnered with GLAAD to allow users to select and display their sexual orientation on their profiles. To make the designation, simply edit your profile, tap “Orientation” and select the identity that best suits you. By visiting your Discovery Preferences, you can view people of your same orientation first.\r\nTraveler Alert\r\nAs an added precautionary measure, Tinder worked with ILGA World to introduce what they’ve dubbed a Traveler Alert that will appear when Tinder is opened in one of the 69 countries where same-sex relationships are illegal. (FYI: In nine countries, including Iran and Saudi Arabia, prosecutors can seek the death penalty against same-sex acts and relationships.) This feature protects users from unknowingly placing themselves in a potentially dangerous circumstance. With Traveler Alert, queer people will not appear on Tinder when they open the app in these areas. Once the alert is activated, users will have the choice to remain hidden or opt into making their profile public — without information indicating their sexuality — so that they can connect with new people. Users' profiles will return back to normal once they leave a protected area.\r\nHow Tinder Works\r\nConsidering it’s an app people use in order to potentially meet the love of their life, people are very curious about how exactly Tinder works.\r\nThe app’s user interface is more complicated now than when it was first launched, but the essential principle remains the same: Swipe left on profiles you’re not interested in, right on profiles you are and you chat with your matches when both of you indicate interest.\r\nBut how, you might be wondering, does Tinder decide who to show to whom, and in what order? That’s the real question at the heart of how Tinder works. \r\nThe answer, similar to almost every app out there today, is a proprietary algorithm whose exact details are secret to the general public. However, we do know a few things about how the Tinder algorithm works.\r\nThe Old Model\r\nA 2016 article revealed that at the time, Tinder used a ranking algorithm to assign each user a score based on how people swipe on them — the more left swipes you get, the lower your score goes; the more right swipes, the higher your score rises. \r\nHowever, it wasn’t as simple as simply adding or subtracting one point every time someone swipes right or left on you. The algorithm is apparently based on the complex ELO score used to rate chess players, meaning who is swiping is also a factor. \r\nIf someone with a high score swiped right on you, you’d be likely to jump higher than if someone with a low score swiped right on you. Similarly, a high score swiping left on you would drop you further than a low score swiping left on you. \r\nIn this way, people who got a lot of right swipes — the Tinder elite, if you will — had a greater impact on people’s scores than people most people aren’t crazy about. \r\nThe New Model\r\nHowever, in 2019, Tinder announced that they had moved away from the ranking model in favor of something that tracks your like patterns to get an idea of what type of person each user is interested in. \r\nAs well, Tinder keeps track of things like how much time you spend on the app, how often you return to it and what percentage of swipes are right vs. left in order to develop a profile of what type of user you are, which it uses to construct your user experience — who you see, and in what order. \r\nIn short, nothing you do when on the app seems to go unnoticed. The app knows that data analytics is key to producing a more streamlined product, and they’re not shy about using it. Next time you see someone’s profile pop up, know that they’re being put there according to a very complex set of calculations. \r\nWhether those calculations will lead to anything more, though? That’s a whole other layer of complexity that even Tinder’s data analysts can’t accurately predict. The only way to find out is to swipe right and see if you match. \r\nTinder & User Safety\r\nTinder’s become the go-to online dating platform for American singles for since its introduction back in 2012, but the unfortunate reality is that sometimes it helps put people with hurtful intentions in touch with vulnerable (or just inconsiderate people in touch with, well, anyone).\r\nIn recent years, the app has rolled out a handful of useful features to improve people's experience when using it. These include things like:\r\nNoonlight\r\nTinder has recognized that it has a role to play in making sure a Tinder date doesn’t go south in a horrible way. Partnering with a service called Noonlight, the app is giving its users the opportunity to notify others when they’re going on a date, when and where it’s going to be and an option to quickly alert authorities if they begin to feel unsafe.\r\nPhoto Verification\r\nLike many contemporary apps, Tinder now uses a photo-verification system to help weed out catfishing. Users can now verify their profiles by taking a real-time photo, and Tinder’s internal software will attempt to match it to your existing, uploaded profile pictures. If the pictures you uploaded and the new, candid picture you took are judged to be of the same person, you’ll get a little checkmark icon next to your name in the app.\r\nIt’s a little detail that can help ensure that you don’t end up getting scammed by someone who looks nothing like their picture. However, this functionality won’t be necessary for all users, so people without check marks might be fakers (or they might just be lazy).\r\nImproved Messaging\r\nTinder has introduced another feature aimed at improving the general tone of discourse in chats between matches.\r\nWhile it takes two right swipes to create a conversation, that’s no guarantee of conversational compatibility, sadly, and Tinder’s been dogged for years with a reputation for fostering unfriendly and sometimes downright abusive conversations. In fact, it’s an aspect of the app that’s only contributed to Bumble’s success as a Tinder-like app with a vastly different messaging set-up (men can only message a match once the women has sent an opening message).\r\nNow, Tinder attempts to flag unpleasant messages before they’re even sent, asking users if they want to “undo” a message it deems potentially unpleasant. As well, users have the option to report interactions that make them feel uncomfortable.\r\nSafety Center\r\nTo round out the suite of safety-oriented additions and updates to the app, Tinder has added a “Safety Center” to the app, where you can go to discover handy additional resources on dating safety.\r\nThis might not sound like a huge deal, but easy access to crucial, potentially life-saving information and hotlines that pertain to sex and dating will now be much closer at hand, which could make a huge difference for some users who might not otherwise seek it out.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tTinder Review\r\n\tAlternatives to Tinder\r\n\tDating Tips for Shy Guys", "keywords": "How, Use, Tinder, for, Hooking, and, More", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/dating-with-tinder/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758043004.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/dating-with-tinder.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 10:44:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84171", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Surprising Connection Between Grip Strength and Mental Health", "title_slug": "the-surprising-connection-between-grip-strength-and-mental-health", "title_hash": "239e0404f72aed23f3d221e5ae6862ca", "summary": "The Gym Bros Might Have Been Onto Something After All", "content": "You may know that grip strength can help you lift heavier. But did you know that it’s also linked to better mental health? A recent study published in BMC Medicine revealed a connection between the two, building on previous research that had established a correlation between lower grip strength and depression. \r\nHere’s what you need to know about the relationship between grip strength and mental health, and how this actually applies to your life (no, you don’t need to Google “grip strength workouts”).\r\nRELATED: How to Motivate Yourself to Work Out When You’re Depressed \r\n\r\nWhy Grip Strength Is a Window Into Mental Health\r\n\r\nYou may be wondering how your ability to hold onto heavy things has anything to do with mental health. It turns out, it’s all about your gray matter, a part of your brain that handles processes like thinking, memory and emotional regulation. \r\nResearchers analyzed the medical data of over 40,000 participants in the UK Biobank and looked at grip strength, mental health and cognitive function and gray matter volume (GMV). \r\n\r\nThey discovered that people with stronger grips experience better brain function, less anxiety, reduced depression symptoms and greater life satisfaction.\r\n“The study validated that gray matter volume in the brain (an indicator of structure and function within the brain) is what mediates the relationship between grip strength and mental health and cognitive outcomes,” according to Dr. Ashwini Nadkarni, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and vice chair for faculty enrichment in psychiatry at MGB AMC. \r\nIn other words, if you have a stronger grip, you likely have more gray matter, which impacts your ability to think, focus and process emotions.\r\n\r\nWhat the Link Between Grip Strength and Mental Health Means for You\r\n\r\nBefore you rush to the gym to do an entire workout focused on grip strength, know that it’s not exactly the main takeaway to gather from these findings. “The key takeaway from this study is that maintaining one's physical strength is part of a larger strategy to improve your mental and cognitive well-being,” adds Nadkarni. \r\nThink of it this way: Grip strength is an indicator of strength, not a standalone goal to aim for. “The simplest way to put this is that the body and the mind are interwoven, and one’s state of physical health affects mental health much more than is appreciated. Grip strength is a reflection of holistic health, which is determined by the body’s physiological responses, energy levels, and mental fortitude,” according to Dr. Michael S. Valdez, medical director at Detox California.\r\nIf anything, you should let the connection between grip strength and mental health remind you of the importance of being stronger — not just because you want your muscles to look a certain way, but because it can support your brain health and emotional well-being. Without those two things, looking in the mirror and liking what you see won’t mean much, after all. However, strength training alone is also not going to instantly cure anxiety or depression. As Valdez puts it, mental health is far more nuanced and complex than that. \r\nThe idea is to remember that your well-being is a whole made up of different aspects that all affect each other. Movement is just one tool in your arsenal, so don’t forget to combine it with other healthy habits, from eating and sleeping well to maintaining nourishing relationships and managing stress.\r\n\r\nHow to Turn Strength Training Into Mental Self-Care\r\n\r\nWhile there’s no need to obsess about grip strength, its relationship with mental health is just one more reason to lift weights regularly. Here’s how you can use your workouts to benefit your mental health. \r\nFocus on All-Around Strength\r\nIt makes sense that grip strength is a sign of overall strength. Compound moves like deadlifts, pull-ups, farmer’s walks and kettlebell swings all require grip strength. Prioritize these exercises at least a couple of times a week, with heavy enough weights to feel challenged without losing proper form. Your body — and brain — will thank you. \r\nThink Long-Term\r\nThe perks of strength training extend beyond what you look like and what you’re able to do right now. Since research shows that building strength protects against cognitive decline, getting stronger is an investment in your future, and you should see it as such. \r\nTrack and Celebrate Progress\r\nPlaying the long game means tracking and celebrating progress, not aiming for perfection. There will be missed workouts and bad ones. But as long as you stay consistent, you’re working towards the overall goal of staying strong, mentally and physically. \r\nComplement Workouts with Other Habits\r\nIf you don’t remember the last time you enjoyed a full night of sleep or haven’t had a moment to socialize in months, having better grip strength isn’t going to help your mental health. Strength training is a powerful way to feel better mentally and physically, but it won’t make up for other habits that can hurt your mental and emotional well-being.\r\nThat said, now that you know about the surprising connection between grip strength and mental health, you can hit the gym knowing you’re also supporting your mind.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Spot Depression in MenBest Workouts for Mental Health9 Ways to Stress-Proof Your Brain", "keywords": "The, Surprising, Connection, Between, Grip, Strength, and, Mental, Health", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/mental-health/the-surprising-connection-between-grip-strength-and-mental-health/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1758038341.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/mental-health/the-surprising-connection-between-grip-strength-and-mental-health.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 10:44:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84010", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Asked Me To Come Back Even Though There Was Another Woman", "title_slug": "he-asked-me-to-come-back-even-though-there-was-another-woman", "title_hash": "82095da0c387796b713829bc058f0e89", "summary": "I broke up with my boyfriend last year because I realised he was cheating on me. I didn’t have hard evidence, but his actions betrayed him. I confronted him several …", "content": "

I broke up with my boyfriend last year because I realised he was cheating on me. I didn’t have hard evidence, but his actions betrayed him. I confronted him several times, but he kept denying it. Even though I had nothing to pin him to, I just knew he was doing it. So I walked out of his life and decided never to return.

At the time, I was still deeply in love with him, so leaving broke my own heart.

He also didn’t stay away. He continued to call to check on our five-month-old baby, and since I was still in love with him, I enjoyed his company. Eventually, he used this as an opportunity to work his way back into my life.

He asked me to give him another chance. “Don’t you want us to raise our daughter together? We can be a family.”

I was reluctant at first but three weeks ago, I finally agreed to give him a chance.

At first, everything seemed fine—except for one thing: I had no right to touch his phone. The moment he saw me near the phone, he would act jittery. Based on our past, I wasn’t comfortable with how protective he was.

So I took my time and figured out his password. When the opportunity presented itself, I decided to go through it. Oh, there was everything in there. Pictures of him with another woman, their call history, their chats—it was all there.

I took the lady’s contact. I wanted to know more about their relationship and make her aware that the man was mine.

To my surprise, she said, “Oh, I already know everything about you. I know you are back in his house. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m ready to fight for my man.”

Since her mind was made up, I left her alone and focused on him. When I confronted him, he begged me to forgive him. Right in front of me, he called her and asked her to apologise to me. They both claimed nothing was going on between them anymore.

I wanted to leave but he asked me to stay and take care of the child. I agreed. I am doing my best to let go of what happened but this guy has changed his password. He has even gone as far as locking every app on his phone.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

He still talks to the lady. According to him, they cannot stop being friends.

Is it advisable to stay with such a man in the name of raising our child together? I know I can take care of the baby alone. I am financially stable. If anything, I am even the one who supports him. Should I just leave him to continue his supposed friendship with the other woman?

—Noona

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#SB

", "keywords": ", Asked, Come, Back, Even, Though, There, Was, Another, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8960.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-asked-me-to-come-back-even-though-there-was-another-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 06:27:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84008", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Only Time a Lady Approached Me, He Was a Man", "title_slug": "the-only-time-a-lady-approached-me-he-was-a-man", "title_hash": "d374760ecfc24d2c7041a00b424eefa7", "summary": "A lady approached me when I was getting dinner from a restaurant. I had closed from work late and decided to eat before I got home. She sat next to …", "content": "

A lady approached me when I was getting dinner from a restaurant. I had closed from work late and decided to eat before I got home. She sat next to me before asking if she could join me. I nodded, and then she said, “You look familiar. Have we ever met?”

Then I looked at her closely to be sure if I knew her from somewhere. “No, I don’t think we’ve ever met.”

She mentioned cities, schools, companies, churches, and clubs. I shook my head to all that and said I hadn’t been to those places. She concluded, “It looks like it’s true what they say, that humans come in twos. The resemblance.”

She asked for my number and I gladly gave it to her. As she walked away, I looked at her very closely. Something about her appearance didn’t add up. Her frame, her gait, her shoulders—it didn’t look like beauty to me. I remember laughing at myself, “The one time a lady approaches me, look at what I get?”

She texted first. She talked about a community of friends she wanted me to meet. There was a party today, another social gathering tomorrow. I’m not that kind of person, so I was reluctant to meet her. One day, we decided to meet at the same restaurant where we first met, and she came with a friend. It was the appearance of her friend that brought the “aha” moment.

Her friend looked clearly like a man in a woman’s dress. S/he had a clean shave, but you could see a small growth of mustache that even makeup couldn’t cover, and s/he spoke with a voice that only a man pretending to be female has. I asked them, “Is this what I think it is?” They smiled. Her friend said they were safe and that they could show me a world I’d never experienced.

When I asked for permission to use the washroom, I sneaked out of the place, and that was it. I had been talking to a man all that while, but because he had mastered femininity, I hadn’t figured him out until he came with a friend. I looked at his picture on his profile. I could now trace the jawline of a man. “Wow!” I sighed. “What were they thinking?”

S/he texted me on my way home and I told him, “I’m sorry I had to run. I was feeling unsettled.” S/he tried calling, but I didn’t pick up. I blocked his number before getting home.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

These guys are becoming too bold these days. Something has to be done about this because it’s becoming scary. Just imagine if I had fallen for it, only to discover in the bedroom that he was a fellow man. Eish!

—Joshua

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****

", "keywords": "The, Only, Time, Lady, Approached, Was, Man", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/32298.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-only-time-a-lady-approached-me-he-was-a-man/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 06:27:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84009", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When I Kissed A Boy, My Parents Threw Me Out Because The Church Said So", "title_slug": "when-i-kissed-a-boy-my-parents-threw-me-out-because-the-church-said-so", "title_hash": "5e692221d0514dd1c647cd5d76727ee7", "summary": "I was born into a strict Christian fellowship, one where rules were not just guidelines but law; it was a do-or-leave affair. Most of my family belonged to it, and …", "content": "

I was born into a strict Christian fellowship, one where rules were not just guidelines but law; it was a do-or-leave affair. Most of my family belonged to it, and only a few ever knew life outside of it. We never celebrated birthdays or Christmas, and from the moment you took your first breath, your path was already laid out for you. There was no room to deviate, no space to ask questions, and no freedom to choose.

I was content because that was the only world I knew. We were taught to befriend only people from the fellowship, and anyone outside was seen as a bad influence, almost undeserving of our friendship, as if they were outcasts. From primary school through JHS, I don’t recall ever being close to classmates who weren’t one of us. I didn’t even want to be seen walking with them, because I knew I’d be reprimanded.

Then I met Kelvin in JHS. No matter what I did to push him away, he had made up his mind to be my friend. I’d be in town preaching with my mom, and he would shout my name from across the street, waving with a wide grin and asking me to preach to him too. I’d feel so embarrassed, and when I got home, I wouldn’t hear the end of it. My mom would warn me to stay away from him, saying he looked like a bad boy. Eventually, I had to change schools because of him, but Kelvin knew where I lived, and he didn’t stop trying. He kept coming around, and he just wouldn’t give up.

When I continued to SHS, I was enrolled as a day student because boarding was discouraged. We were taught that boarding schools would corrupt us, pull us away from our teachings, and turn us into something else, so everyone was expected to attend a day school to be supervised. During that time, Kelvin got into a boarding school, so I didn’t see him much, except during vacations when he would still find a way to talk to me.

After SHS, I learnt a trade because I was advised to, and because even after school, your life was still dictated for you. Around that time, a brother from the fellowship showed interest in me and wanted to marry me. I was twenty, and he was highly respected in the church. Imagine how you would value a friend of Otedola in your family; that was how everyone valued him. He was a hot cake, and everyone wanted a piece of him.

No one asked if I wanted to get married. My parents’ eyes gleamed with pride, and that was their yes.

Our courtship was chaperoned because we were taught not to commit sin. We always met in open spaces where everyone could see us. My mom monitored my every move. I was her first child and only girl among three boys, so you can imagine the pressure. It felt like i was carrying the weight of a thousand stones on my back

Kelvin came back into the picture when everything was almost set for me to get married.

One evening, after seeing my husband-to-be off, I met Kelvin on my way home. I tried to hide, but he had already seen me. He teased me about escorting one grandpa, asking if he was my mom’s dad or my father’s dad. I laughed so hard that day. It was the first time we had stood and talked for more than a minute. He begged me for just a little more of my time, and I gave in. We spoke for a long while, and for the first time, I really looked at him. I wasn’t shy, I wasn’t scared. He had grown so much in a good way, and I thought maybe keeping one friend outside the fellowship wouldn’t hurt.

I began replying to his texts and sneaking out to meet him once in a while. It was nothing serious, at least not at first. It was during one of those meetings that Kelvin confessed his feelings. That night changed everything. I caved in. He kissed me; my first kiss. He touched me in intimate places, but I pulled away and ran home.

My conscience haunted me every now and then.I told my best friend in the fellowship and made her promise not to tell anyone, but she told everyone who cared to know that I had sinned against God and the fellowship.

Soon, I was summoned by the elders of the church and questioned. My dad was part of the committee. I couldn’t even lift my head. I tried to lie, but after four hours of sitting on that chair and facing that kind of tough committee, I broke down and confessed, thinking it would make things better. It didn’t.

What happens next is you’re reprimanded, and at one of our meetings where everyone is present, it is announced that you’ve been disfellowshipped. It’s a big deal. Your own family is not even allowed to talk to you. They pass you by like you don’t exist. You become an outcast.

I had to move out because I couldn’t stand the humiliation and the silent treatment. But I had nowhere to go, so I turned to Kelvin. The day after I told him, he came over and packed my things, and we left for his end. My mom watched with anger burning in her eyes but didn’t say a word, because the church doctrine said so. She chose her faith over her only daughter.

He took me to his mother’s house. That was where I met her and explained everything. She couldn’t believe it, but she welcomed me with open arms, and they’re the only people supporting me now. Nobody talks to me, no one from the fellowship, and they are the only ones I know. I miss my family so much, but when I call, they don’t pick up.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Kelvin and his mom have been amazing to me, but some days I have dark thoughts. I feel worthless. I have lost everything. Where do I even begin? I can’t go out because I meet some of the fellowship members, and the looks they give me break me all over again.

Kelvin’s mom says I am part of their family now, but for how long? Some nights I can’t sleep because I feel like if the world ended today, I would be counted among the very people I used to preach would perish. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.

—Mabel

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>

", "keywords": "When, Kissed, Boy, Parents, Threw, Out, Because, The, Church, Said", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/2148869366.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/when-i-kissed-a-boy-my-parents-threw-me-out-because-the-church-said-so/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 06:27:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84007", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Don’t Know Which Of My Baby Daddies I Should Choose", "title_slug": "i-dont-know-which-of-my-baby-daddies-i-should-choose", "title_hash": "c006a4ad5ade25c508f1c87c0d0ae023", "summary": "I’m 20 years old. I have two children. I was 18 when I had my firstborn. My youngest is currently six months old. Each of my babies has their own …", "content": "

I’m 20 years old. I have two children. I was 18 when I had my firstborn. My youngest is currently six months old. Each of my babies has their own father.

None of my baby daddies are deadbeat. They are both present in the lives of their children, and in my life as well. What I mean is, I am still dating the two men.

One of the men knows he is not the only one I am in love with, but he loves me enough to stay. The other one thinks I am done with the other man and he is the only man in my life. I know you are itching for me to disclose which of the men is clueless about this love triangle. For the sake of protecting my anonymity, I will keep that information to myself. Just understand that one knows they are two, but the other thinks it’s just him.

Now this is my problem. I am fully aware that I cannot be with the two men forever. Eventually, I would have to choose the one I want to settle down with.

I love the father of my first child very much. I would choose him to be My Forever in a heartbeat. But, it is the father of my second child who has shown me the depths of his love. Although he has a girlfriend, he cannot bear to let me go. I love him too just as much.

He takes care of me in ways I didn’t know it was possible for a man to take care of a woman. Emotionally, he is my support. Physically, he always shows up for me. Financially, he makes sure I don’t lack anything. As a lover, he brings me unimaginable satisfaction.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

My only problem with him is that he has another woman. While my first man doesn’t express his love in such grand gestures, I know I am his only woman. And that makes me feel safe and secure in the relationship.

Each man has a unique way of showing their love for me. This is why my heart wants them both. I know I sound greedy, that’s why I want to break up with one of them and just stick to one man. I just don’t know which of them to walk away from.

—Aisleen

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Don’t, Know, Which, Baby, Daddies, Should, Choose", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "60", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9006.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-dont-know-which-of-my-baby-daddies-i-should-choose/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 06:27:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "84006", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Date Men Who Expect Me To Take Care Of Them Because I Am A Nurse", "title_slug": "i-date-men-who-expect-me-to-take-care-of-them-because-i-am-a-nurse", "title_hash": "4d5703351a3032a774eb37a3cc7387f7", "summary": "For the past four years, I have been praying about marriage. That was when I was 26. Now I am 30. I have met men. I think it’s mostly because …", "content": "

For the past four years, I have been praying about marriage. That was when I was 26. Now I am 30. I have met men. I think it’s mostly because of my profession as a nurse. I’m always out working with people so it makes sense that I meet a lot of men. Nonetheless, my experience with these men has left me feeling that maybe I was not meant to be in a romantic relationship.

They come into my life with expectations. And I think these expectations are tied to the fact that I am a nurse, or maybe it’s just because I am a career woman. Can you believe that even though they have jobs they expect me to be responsible for all the expenses in the relationship?

Here is the thing, my money is not even enough for me. I put myself through school, and my mother is unwell. I am the one taking care of her and paying all her medical bills. Due to this, my meagre salary is stretched thin. It’s not as if I have anyone supporting me with extra cash.

That’s why I try to save small amounts whenever I can, just in case I’m in dire need.

I don’t put my financial burdens on the men I meet but they expect me to cook for them with my money and buy them gifts in addition. I wouldn’t mind doing these things if I had enough, but I simply don’t.

Right now, I’m back in school, funding my own education, managing a project, and caring for my sick mother. On top of all this, the man I met earlier this year complains that I don’t take good care of him.

By this, he means, I don’t cook, wash, or give him sex—something I made clear from the very beginning I wasn’t ready to do. When he brought it up and I reminded him of our initial agreement he said, “How would I know you can be a good wife if you don’t do these things? Go and ask your mates what they do for men to marry them.”

Honestly, I ask myself why I keep meeting men like this. What am I doing wrong to attract them? When I think about it, I start to feel depressed. What if I go through life meeting only this caliber of men? All I want is a man who will come to the table with the mind that we should be partners, rather than expecting me to adopt them and take care of them as if they are toddlers.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Since I have never encountered such a man, I have this fear that when I finally get married, I’ll still be left to take care of myself and pay my own bills. I’m not lazy, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a man who wants to take care of me as much as they expect me to take care of them?

I want to know what I can do to attract such a man. If not, I may just decide that I am not meant for relationships. But that’s a last resort. I am still trusting God to bring the right man my way. I just need some tips on how to position myself to be found by him.

—Dara

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Date, Men, Who, Expect, Take, Care, Them, Because, Nurse", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_9011.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-date-men-who-expect-me-to-take-care-of-them-because-i-am-a-nurse/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-18 06:27:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83771", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Abortion Funds Help Pregnant People. South Carolina Wants Us To Stop.", "title_slug": "abortion-funds-help-pregnant-people-south-carolina-wants-us-to-stop", "title_hash": "b61a58ee371ad38ae4de7a0b016373de", "summary": "Opinion: I co-direct a group that helps people get abortion care. If a new abortion ban passes, our work will become illegal.\nThe post Abortion Funds Help Pregnant People. South Carolina Wants Us To Stop. appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

South Carolina is considering imposing a total abortion ban.

Currently, South Carolina bans abortion care after six weeks of pregnancy. The bill scheduled for debate in the state legislature in early October would outlaw the procedure entirely, including in cases of rape and incest.

In 2025, it is already very difficult for South Carolinians to receive abortion care. But it isn’t impossible. A network of nonprofits is still working to to help people get the reproductive health care they need: abortion funds.

Abortion funds are grassroots groups that provide free financial and logistical assistance to people who need abortion care. Over 100 independent abortion funds exist in the U.S. I am a member of the Palmetto State Abortion Fund’s board, in South Carolina.

If the state’s new bill becomes law, however, our activities would become illegal.

As a gender studies scholar, I see the work of abortion funds as a crucial component of reproductive justice. Given the growing restrictions on reproductive rights across the U.S., I think it is important that the public understand what abortion funds do.

What do abortion funds do?

Most commonly, a person who does not want to be pregnant calls or texts the abortion fund’s intake line. Intake specialists at the fund ask the pregnant person about the amount they will need to help cover the procedure, and if they also require support for travel, accommodations, or other logistics.

After confirming clinic appointments, abortion funds tell clinics how much money the fund can allocate for an appointment based on their budget, which is funded by donations and grant money. If one fund can’t cover the full amount, they’ll typically reach out to ask another fund to pledge additional support.

Before and after their client’s clinic appointment, abortion funds also offer emotional reassurance and psychological assistance, including by referring people to counseling and support groups.

Additional efforts to criminalize abortion funds’ work in the state are on the horizon. The South Carolina legislation that would ban abortion completely—“The Unborn Child Protection Act”—would also make it a crime to assist pregnant people in traveling for abortion care. Those found guilty would face up to 30 years in prison.

Another Republican bill, the “Prenatal Equal Protection Act,” proposes to classify getting an abortion as homicide—a crime that is punishable with the death penalty in South Carolina—and helping someone obtain an abortion as a felony.

Abortion fund members remain dedicated to supporting people in need for as long as we can legally do so.

One South Carolina abortion fund, by the numbers

In its first two full years of operation, from 2022 to 2023, the Palmetto State Abortion Fund supported between 175 to 200 clients annually. In June 2025 alone, we helped 200 clients. Currently, our intake line receives on average 50 requests for funding a day.

At the moment, we are not in a position to cover any appointments fully. So we allocate funding based on appointment cost, gestational age, and other factors and collaborate with other organizations to cover people’s full balance.

In addition to booking transportation and housing, our abortion fund will support child care for clients, too. We either contribute to those expenses or put clients in touch with abortion-focused organizations that fully reimburse child-care costs during the appointment. Our volunteers also create after-care kits replete with heating pads, coloring books, and menstrual pads, among other items.

The Palmetto State Abortion Fund runs on donations from people and philanthropies; our annual budget is about $250,000, and 95 percent of all donations go directly to our clients. We also rely on a group of engaged volunteers across South Carolina to help us with transporting clients, among other tasks.

Like abortion funds across the nation, we are struggling to raise enough money to meet soaring demand. Back in 2022—the year that the Supreme Court overturned the constitutional right to abortion in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization—U.S. abortion funds managed to support 70 percent of callers asking for financial support. That number dropped to about 54 percent in 2024, in large part because requests for support increased by 56 percent between 2023 and 2024.

By July of this year, Palmetto State Abortion Fund had already pledged to contribute financially to more than 500 people’s abortion appointments. During that period, we had to close our intake hotline twice because we ran out of money. We had no help to give.

Abortion care can be expensive

Since South Carolina’s Supreme Court upheld the state’s six-week abortion ban in 2023, we’ve seen the distances people must travel for care increase dramatically. The furthest stretch one of our clients traveled was over 650 miles to New York. She needed to see a provider who could serve patients at a more advanced gestational age and with certain medical conditions.

Abortion clinics nationwide are overbooked because those in states that protect abortion are seeing more out-of-state patients. In a 2024 survey of abortion providers, 85 percent said more patients were postponing care due to lack of funding. These involuntary waiting periods, which may delay care by weeks, push many patients into the second trimester of pregnancy.

That necessitates a much costlier procedure than if the person had been seen immediately. The most expensive procedure we have helped fund cost $25,000—again, due to the individual’s gestational age and medical condition.

Medication abortions are not much easier to get in South Carolina. While 1 in 4 people nationwide accessed abortion care via telehealth by the end of 2024, South Carolina has made it mandatory for people to receive abortion medication in person. In a state that has just three abortion clinics, that may require travel and time off work—steps many of our clients cannot afford without our help.

Medication abortion themselves can also be costly. Patients normally take two different pills up to 48 hours apart, and it can cost anywhere between $500 to $950 without insurance, according to the reproductive health chain Morning Star Clinics.

Who are abortion fund patients?

We collect little information on our clients to protect their anonymity. But we run a voluntary survey after patients have used our services, and 198 people responded between March and June 2025.

These responses show that the states we served the most were Georgia, where abortion is banned after six weeks with few exceptions, followed closely by South Carolina. The majority of respondents—55 percent—were young adults between the ages of 25 and 34. Five survey respondents were under the age of 18. And three-quarters of survey-takers reported already having at least one child.

Out of 121 respondents who gave us information about the gestational age of their pregnancy when they called us for help, only one person was more than 12 weeks pregnant. This data falls in line with national data showing that 93 percent of abortions are performed during the first trimester.

No matter their circumstances, our clients say they appreciate our help.

“I don’t know what would have happened without you all,” an unemployed patient from urban Georgia wrote. “I have another chance at life.”

The post Abortion Funds Help Pregnant People. South Carolina Wants Us To Stop. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Abortion, Funds, Help, Pregnant, People., South, Carolina, Wants, Stop.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/South-Carolina-Abortion-Funds-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/09/17/south-carolina-telehealth-abortion-ban-palmetto-state-fund/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-17 11:40:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83421", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Left Me When He Was Still Owing Me GHC45", "title_slug": "he-left-me-when-he-was-still-owing-me-ghc45", "title_hash": "2ec640923e97b1283a4ee7f26d551275", "summary": "We had a fight the night before and I’d gone to apologize. It wasn’t my fault the fight happened but if I didn’t make an attempt for peace, the issue …", "content": "

We had a fight the night before and I’d gone to apologize. It wasn’t my fault the fight happened but if I didn’t make an attempt for peace, the issue would drag on forever.

I got to the front of his door and saw him sitting on the floor with his legs spread wide and eating some watery food from a very big bowl. I drew closer and realized he was eating Gari soakings.

There’s a way you eat Gari soakings to make it appear rich: a little bit of peanut, a lot of milk to make it creamy and if you were like me, you would break biscuits into pieces and put them in the mixture. This wasn’t the type of soakings he was eating. He didn’t even take his time to pour out the floating little nuisance on top of the soakings.

The food looked wretched. Just the Gari and sugar and plenty of water to make it more watery than it deserved. I jovially said, “How can a man like you eat something like this? Would those in war-torn countries even eat this food? Or have you missed your boarding school days in SHS?”

It was a joke ooo. I said it with a broad grin just to break the ice for a conversation to start. He quickly got up, held my shoulders and threw me out of his room, all the while shouting, “Get out! Get out! Are you the one to tell me what to eat? Do you feed me? Am I your son for you to tell me what to eat?”

I left his compound without looking back, thinking he was in a bad mood and would calm down later so we could talk. That same night he texted, “If you don’t understand my now, how would you understand my future? I can’t live with a woman who doesn’t understand the times. You’re appalled because I’m eating soakings? Go to where they serve pizza and continental food. I’m done with you.”

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

As I write this, he’s owing me GHC45. It was GHC700 but he paid it sɔpi sɔpi until it’s left with GHC45. I’m the one he borrows from when times are hard but today he’s telling me I don’t understand the times. I should have left long ago but my stupid heart wouldn’t let me, now look at me, just because of soakings I’ve been driven out like a thief of little things.

—Josephine

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Left, When, Was, Still, Owing, GHC45", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/140405.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-left-me-when-he-was-still-owing-me-ghc45/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:43:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83320", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Infant Mortality Rises in States With Restrictive Abortion Laws—New Research", "title_slug": "infant-mortality-rises-in-states-with-restrictive-abortion-lawsnewresearch", "title_hash": "24dc5d85b2268a8f012806652959ea95", "summary": "Analysis: States that enacted abortion bans post-Dobbs saw a 7.2 percent increase in infant deaths.\nThe post Infant Mortality Rises in States With Restrictive Abortion Laws—New Research appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Infant mortality has risen in states that enacted tighter abortion restrictions in the wake of the June 2022 Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health decision. This occurs for newborns—those less than a day old—as well as older infants—those 1 month to 1 year old.

In addition, states with new restrictions that include health exceptions, which permit an abortion to be performed to save the life of the mother or in the case of life-limiting fetal abnormality, experience a similar increase in infant deaths. These are the key takeaways of our team’s August 2025 study published in the American Journal of Public Health.

For our research, we drew data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to determine how many infants died in each state between 2018 and 2023.

We then looked at changes in the number of infant deaths before a state introduced a new abortion restriction versus after, contrasting those changes with states that had not implemented new restrictions. In economic parlance, we estimated the “difference in differences.”

On average, states with abortion restrictions enacted after Dobbs saw a 7.2 percent increase in infant deaths—an increase of roughly 30 deaths per year in children up to age 1. These deaths did not exclusively occur among newborns in their first day of life. Instead, much of the disparity was concentrated among infants between 1 month and 1 year old, who suffered a 9.3 percent increase in excess deaths.

We observed no significant change in the number of infant deaths when state legislatures included health exceptions for the mother or the fetus. In other words, our data showed that despite such exceptions, infant deaths increased at the same rate as states without the exceptions.

Why it matters

Three years after Roe was overturned, the abortion rights landscape in the U.S. is still contested terrain.

In effect, the Dobbs decision returned control of abortion regulation to the states. Since that time, legislators in more than 20 states have instituted abortion restrictions that would not have been permissible under the previous Roe v. Wade standard.

Still, other states have taken steps to protect access to the procedure, including Arizona, Colorado, Maryland, Missouri, Montana, and New York.

Within this fragmented legal environment, we and others are working to rigorously examine public health outcomes so policymakers, legislators, and voters can make informed decisions.

This examination did not start with us. For example, prior researchers found that infant deaths in Texas rose nearly 13 percent after the passage of Texas Senate Bill 8 in 2021. Our paper suggests that, unfortunately, the Texas study was not a fluke. The same pattern holds nationally in states that enacted abortion restrictions in the wake of Roe being overturned.

The lack of significant difference in the number of infant deaths in states where abortion restrictions have health exceptions also suggests that medical professionals may be unsure when they can lean on such exceptions when treating patients. And if health exceptions are going to have the desired effect, state legislatures will need to define what constitutes “serious risk” and “irreversible impairment,” as well as other broad terms that are included in such statutory language.

What still isn’t known

Although our study makes it clear that infant mortality has risen in abortion-restricting states, future research is needed to explain precisely how the restrictions contributed to these deaths.

Indeed, our paper finds that the rise in mortality was not solely due to perinatal or congenital issues and the time of birth. Increases also occurred in the catch-all category of “other causes” that may affect infants up to the second year of life. This murkiness deepens the mystery around how, exactly, abortion restrictions are putting infants at risk.

Further, due to data availability, we have little insight into how the patchwork of abortion laws is affecting people from different groups, such as race and socioeconomic class.

It is likely that economic, as well as public-health approaches, will be needed to address a problem that is reaching tragic proportions.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article by Brad Greenwood, Professor of Business, George Mason University; Gordon Burtch, Professor of Information Systems, Boston University, and Michaela R. Anderson, Assistant Professor of Medicine, University of Pennsylvania.

The post Infant Mortality Rises in States With Restrictive Abortion Laws—New Research appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Sometimes it says what words can’t.…", "content": "Touch is one of the most powerful forms of communication in love. Sometimes it says what words can’t.…", "keywords": ", Kinds, Touch, Every, Woman, Secretly, Craves", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Gemini_Generated_Image_7r248n7r248n7r24-e1758012145840.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-kinds-of-touch-every-woman-secretly-craves/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:11:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83159", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Things That Matter More to Women Than Just Physical Closeness", "title_slug": "10-things-that-matter-more-to-women-than-just-physical-closeness", "title_hash": "846b71361a8f878a6401b54518ddcfa9", "summary": "When it comes to love, women know that passion is only one piece of the puzzle. Yes, physical…", "content": "When it comes to love, women know that passion is only one piece of the puzzle. Yes, physical…", "keywords": ", Things, That, Matter, More, Women, Than, Just, Physical, Closeness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-16-at-1.10.18-PM-e1758013858933.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-things-that-matter-more-to-women-than-just-physical-closeness/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:11:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83157", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Optimize Workout Recovery", "title_slug": "how-to-optimize-workout-recovery", "title_hash": "5c72477c28ac0345b2ecc4bc9f1502d8", "summary": "3 Recovery Modalities You Need to Address to Stave Off Injury & Train Your Hardest", "content": "Fitness enthusiasts are competitive types. They’re always trying to run faster, lift more weight, and build more muscle, and they quantify everything, relentlessly. For the most part, that attitude is healthy, and helps sustain them through those long, grinding hours in the gym or out running the lonely roads, when there’s no one around to be impressed by their dedication. But sometimes that competitive spirit becomes unhealthy, and the best example of that is the “no pain, no gain” attitude, which rapidly becomes counterproductive and even dangerous.\r\nRELATED: How to Optimize Pre- and Post-Workout Nutrition\r\nIf you’re living your life outside of the gym in a constant state of soreness and fatigue, don’t fool yourself: your exhaustion and bodily pain aren’t proof positive that you’ve been busting your butt in the gym, but clear evidence that you’re inadequately recovering from your workouts – and probably setting yourself up for failure in the long term.\r\nHere are some of the telltale signs of poor post-workout recovery:\r\n\r\n\tMuscle soreness\r\n\tJoint pain\r\n\tChronic fatigue\r\n\tDecreased muscular strength\r\n\tLoss of motivation\r\n\tHeadaches or migraines\r\n\tDecreased athletic performance\r\n\tWeakened immune system\r\n\r\nObviously none of the above symptoms are pleasant, but notice, also, that they’re also all major obstacles to you making progress on your fitness journey. Fatigue, joint pain and muscle soreness all dramatically increase your risk of injury, and nothing quite derails an exercise regimen like a bad injury. Similarly, headaches, migraines and a drop in motivation all severely undermine your ability to stick to your routine, let alone enjoy yourself while you’re training. And a weakened immune system is nothing to sneer at, either: you won’t be training properly or eating well if you’re sidelined with a bad cold or flu.\r\n\r\nRe-Examine Your Diet\r\n\r\nSo what can you do to defeat soreness and fatigue and optimize your recovery between workouts?\r\nThe first and easiest solution is to simply sleep more. If you’re someone who likes to burn the midnight oil, or boast about how they can get by on six hours of sleep a night (with enough coffee, at least), it’s time to change your ways. Sleep is dedicated recovery time, and the less of it you get, the more you deny your body the chance to repair itself.\r\nThe next two areas to tweak for optimal recovery – diet and exercise routine – are a little more complicated.\r\nThe first step is establishing a diet plan that makes tracking simple. Calories are your first clue. If you’re trying to build muscle, you’re going to want to eat a surplus amount of calories; if you’re trying to lose weight, you’re aiming to consume fewer calories each day than your body needs, to force it to burn up your fat stores for energy. But here’s the catch: eat too few calories, and you’re not just forcing your body to burn up fat, but impairing its ability to recover from workouts, putting yourself at a much greater risk of injury and chronic fatigue. What’s the optimal amount of calories for you? Nothing short of trial and error can give you that answer, but if you’re struggling to recover between workouts, the first thing to consider is upping your daily caloric intake.\r\nThe next dietary component to adjust has to do with the nutrients you’re consuming. Adequate protein intake is an essential part of both building muscle and losing fat, and if you’re not ingesting enough protein, muscle breakdown (and hence increased muscle soreness) will be the inevitable result. For years, the gold standard in recommendations for protein intake came from the International Society of Sports Nutrition, who found an intake of 1.4-2.0g per kg (roughly 0.6-1g per pound) of body weight was the ideal range for most physically active people. If you’re not experiencing optimal muscle recovery, protein intake is one of the first variables you need to consider.\r\nBut there’s another component of your diet that is often overlooked but no less important than protein consumption, and that’s your micronutrient intake. Vitamins and minerals are an essential part of total body wellness, and though your diet of chicken and white rice might be enough to meet your protein and carbohydrate needs, it’s almost certainly leaving you deficient in key nutrients.\r\n\r\nDial Back Your Workout Intensity\r\n\r\nThe next variable to address is your exercise routine. If you’re noticing increasing muscle soreness and chronic fatigue, it might be time to dial things back a bit. That might mean doing fewer sets or reps, reducing the weights you use, or simply going to the gym less often. If the term “rest day” isn’t in your vocabulary, it’s time to introduce it, even embrace it, because your time off from the gym and strenuous exercise can actually increase your body’s ability to do work. If a full day off seems too much, consider doing “active recovery work,” designed specifically to aid in your recovery. \r\nLight walks outside, with your friends or your dog, as well as yoga and guided breathing exercises all promote proper recovery, and go a long way towards keeping your body in good condition.\r\n\r\nSet Aside Time for Stretching & Massage\r\n\r\nExercise is designed to stress the body, to force a favorable adaptation and hopefully bring you closer to your goals, but there's a fine line between stressing the body and torturing the body. If you're asking a lot of your muscles, you also need to ensure you're giving them the proper care as well, otherwise you're heading towards injury faster than your goals. \r\nThere are a ton of fantastic massage and myofascial release options on the market, from relatively inexpensive options like foam rollers and massage sticks to high-tech options like ice baths, thermal spas and fancy massage guns. You don't need to use all of them but you should use some of them, with particular concentration on areas of your body that are chronically sore or painful. \r\nGood candidates for special care include the feet, calves, hamstrings and lats, as these all tend to hold a lot of tension and cause problems elsewhere in the body when that tension goes unaddressed. It's also a very good idea to stretch regularly, whether that's with a beginner yoga practice or just a basic stretching routine you do regularly.It's even a good idea to book a massage once or twice a year, just to have a professional assess your progress and work out any lingering tension you couldn't resolve yourself.\r\nThe bottom line: if you’re suffering from exhaustion and prolonged muscle soreness, you need to treat these symptoms as signs of a greater need for post-workout recovery, and make the necessary changes. The younger you are, the longer you can get away with ignoring this advice, but take it from people who learned the hard way: it's better to start now.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Tasting Protein Powder\r\n\tThe Six Fundamentals of Workout Recovery\r\n\tBest Pre-Workout Supplements", "keywords": "How, Optimize, Workout, Recovery", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-optimize-workout-recovery/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757974514.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-optimize-workout-recovery.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:11:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83158", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Make Your Dick Smell Good", "title_slug": "how-to-make-your-dick-smell-good", "title_hash": "79d8ee01c3a46ff79298f77f149d5f6c", "summary": "Your diet can hinder the way you smell or worse, the way you taste. Motivate her to go down south and come back for seconds.", "content": "We’d love to all think we’re in top form when it comes to getting up close and personal to someone, but the truth is, life happens: Sometimes you or your partner will have a smell going on that may get in the way and is a potential turnoff for you or your sexual partner. That's right. It's penis odor.\r\nThe genital area has many sebaceous and apocrine glands, which make oil and sweat and therefore can lead to some serious penis odor. It's also an area that can get overheated under layers of clothes and underwear, all of which can lead to bacterial growth that can cause some intense smells. There are some easy ways to help keep it under control though.\r\nRELATED: Penis Health Care 101\r\nThis is a common issue among young inexperienced men. “However, that smell is common and is not an emergency. It can be more common among uncircumcised men. First, they need to rule out a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and something called phimosis, which is when the penis head becomes constricted and infected,” says men's health expert, Dr. Ralph Esposito.\r\nWhile it’s in no way a reflection on anything you are doing wrong, there are a lot of factors that can be responsible, and a lot you can do about it.\r\n\r\nTips to Improve Your Smelly Penis\r\n\r\nIf you are about to have oral sex or full on intercourse for the first time or if you're a relative newbie, first, do an inspection to make sure everything looks good. If there is any kind of funk, go into the shower and thoroughly wash your penis, including under the foreskin if you're uncircumcised. \r\nSmelly penis or not, washing under your foreskin is important for many reasons beyond body odor, including preventing balanitis, an ugly, painful swelling of the foreskin, or head of the penis that primarily affects uncircumcised men as a result of poor hygiene. It can be painful, but it typically isn’t serious. It often can be relieved by using topical medication.\r\nAfter the shower, dry off completely and do the whiff test — run a finger or a Q-tip along your penis and penis head and then sniff it. If there's any unsavory scent left over after the shower, don’t engage in any sexual activity. Go see a urologist or your doctor, urologist preferred, and get some medication or treatment protocol. If you have a persistent smell that doesn't go away, definitely go to see a urologist.\r\nWash Well\r\nBelieve it or not, you might not know how to properly wash your penis. You might be ignoring that area entirely, or rushing it rather than giving it a thorough scrub. Slow down! You need to take your time and be meticulous. There are a lot of folds around the groin areas that can lock onto a foul smell or bacterium resulting in irritation or even a bacterial infection.\r\n“It's important to really take your time and wash all of the crevices. Uncircumcised men need to clean beneath the foreskin as well. Regular soap should do the trick. It's not ideal to use an antibacterial soap, though you could if all else fails,” says Hall. That being said, do not ever use things like bleach or alcohol on your nether regions.\r\nKeep It Dry\r\n“After a shower, you should make sure you’re dry down there before you put on your undergarments. Don’t wear loose-fitting boxers — put on underwear like boxer briefs that will take away liquid or moisture away during the day,” says Dr. David Shusterman, Founder and Medical Director of NY Urology.\r\nIf you exercise or engage in activities that make you sweat, make sure you shower. Your sweat takes any bacteria you do have and makes it grow. “Sweat is not bad — it's just that it makes the area moist and grows the bacteria. The best deodorant for down there is keeping it dry. Covering up the smell is not enough, you have to keep it dry,” says Dr. Shusterman.\r\nAre You Circumcised\r\nOne thing to keep in mind with regard to penis smell is that it can be an issue for men with an uncircumcised penis. An uncircumcised man with a foreskin can run the risk of their penises smelling more strongly, based on growth of bacteria or yeast underneath the foreskin, if they don't wash there regularly.\r\n“Smell is from bacteria or yeast, there is no other reason to smell. It’s all about the whiff test if you smell something,” says Dr. Shusterman.\r\nGet Rid of Smegma\r\nYou may have noticed a secretion in the folds of your skin down there, especially if you are uncircumcised. That’s smegma buildup. Smegma buildup, also called \"dick cheese,\" is a mixture of skin cells, yeast and sweat that can appear under your foreskin and will smell strongly. How do you get rid of it? Simply wash regularly, since sweat is the real catalyst for smegma. “Yeast is always on your skin but you can’t make cheese unless you give it the proverbial milk... which would be the water or sweat that blends with yeast to make the cheese,” says Dr. Shusterman.\r\nRELATED: How to Make Semen Taste Better\r\nIf you notice more smegma than usual, or a particularly malodorous smegma, you might be suffering from a yeast infection (yes, men can get yeast infections!), in which case you need to see a doctor.\r\nGet Tested\r\nAnother source of a strong negative odor coming off your penis could be and sexually transmitted infection or STI, or sexually transmitted infections, previously known as STDs or sexually transmitted diseases. If you've had unprotected sex in the past few months, you might have caught one. To be on the safe side, you should be getting tested for diseases every six months or so -- or if you notice symptoms of a disease,. \r\nConsider Health Issues\r\nWhat are you putting inside your body? Lots of guys believe or indeed do have bad ball odor. The reasons for it ranges, but a lot of it is what you are putting in your body: Are you a smoker? Do you have a heavy junk food or garlic diet? “Smoking, booze and a poor diet can make us taste and smell bad. Now may be the time to give up or seriously curtail those habits,” says Nina Helms, a sexual health expert.\r\nGive It a Trim\r\nKeeping neat and tidy is a good way to stay smelling your best. Pubic hair increases the likelihood of staying heated and it traps in moisture and odors. “You don't have to take it all away, but pruning things down can make a big difference in potential smells forming,” says Hall. So if you're concerned, consider manscaping a bit down there.\r\n\r\nProducts to Help You Improve Your Smell\r\n\r\nWorried you're not smelling tip-top down there? Don't sweat it. There are a number of products made to keep any and all penis odor smells in check. Here are a few you can consider: \r\nChassis for Men Premium Powder\r\n\r\nChassis for Men is a line designed to make you stink-free. The herbal, talc-free blend enables frictionless, cool, and dry performance that won’t paste up!\r\n$24.95 at Amazon.com\r\nDude Wipes\r\n\r\nDude Wipes are flushable wet wipes designed by men, created for men. Each oversized wipe -- a generous 44 square inches -- brings the clean to the face, armpits, everywhere. They have a neutral scent, so no smelling like flowers or talc. In fact, no smelling at all.\r\n$4.28 at Amazon.com\r\nViva Naturals Organic Coconut Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nTry to use coconut oil as a body lotion after showering. “Coconut oil is an antibacterial and antiviral. Men can carry baby wipes with them and use that about 1 to 2 times a day if they're going to be out for a long day. Wearing breathable underwear can be a big help -- make sure it is cotton underwear. Avoid wearing compression shorts longer than one hour, especially for athletes. Often the smell occurs in men with a high sugar diet. Staying away from sugar and high starch foods can also help reduce the smell,” says Dr. Esposito.\r\n$15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPinaud Clubman Talcum Powder\r\n\r\n\r\nThis isn't your run-of-the-mill baby powder. Talcum powder will also keep you drier and fresher by absorbing moisture without leaving that uniquely identifiable scent behind. “A little sprinkle will help you feel fresher and smelling good. There are a variety of powders made for this very purpose,” says Antonia Hall, a psychologist, relationship expert and sexpert and the award-winning author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.\r\n$7.99 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Colognes for Men\r\n\tHow to Shave Your Balls\r\n\tHow to Trim Your Pubic Hair", "keywords": "How, Make, Your, Dick, Smell, Good", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_100/100_love_tip/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757943140.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_100/100_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:11:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83014", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When I Ran to My Brother for Protection, He Did to Me What All Men Were Doing to Me", "title_slug": "when-i-ran-to-my-brother-for-protection-he-did-to-me-what-all-men-were-doing-to-me", "title_hash": "1b846d2404a075fdb06ad3619fac5ca4", "summary": "I grew up as the good girl until life happened. I was the kind who was in the group of mean girls but wasn’t one of them. When the girls …", "content": "

I grew up as the good girl until life happened. I was the kind who was in the group of mean girls but wasn’t one of them. When the girls in my circle laughed at the poor or anyone who seemed like an outcast, I stayed quiet and didn’t join in. And even if it sounds hard to believe, I held back on my exams just so the teachers wouldn’t beat the other students for scoring lower than me.

When I was six and lived in Kenya, I was always dirty and hungry. Then I was moved to Uganda to live with relatives. That house was crowded, and food was never enough. People fought over it. That’s where the abuse started. The boys who didn’t get enough food began sleeping with me as if it would somehow satisfy their hunger. When I sought protection from my brother, he did worse.

He forced his way through me when I thought he should be the one to protect me. When I cried and was confused and disoriented, he beat me. He added to my blues and warned me never to tell anyone or he’d do worse things to me than he had already done. “What could be worse?” I asked. I shivered. I kept silent so he wouldn’t make my life worse than it already was.

During the lockdown, another man came to live with us. He tried to force himself on me. When I fought back, he beat me black and blue and said no one would believe me if I reported him. I was only thirteen years old, going through what a little girl like me shouldn’t go through.

This man claimed my brother wouldn’t believe me either, as if they had been discussing the sexual experiences they had with me. He was sure he’d get away with it. Another man tried to convince me to sleep with him, saying he knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore. It made me ask myself, “How do virgins look that I don’t look like one at this age?”

Outside of the torture I’ve been through, I don’t know what’s left for me now. It’s been hard trying to figure out who I am beyond the hurt, because pain and the flashes that come with it are all I’ve ever known.

I scroll through posts online about disorders and read psychologists saying things like, “If you feel outside your body, then you have this,” or “If you forgive too much, then you have that.” So I diagnose myself and wear it like a label. I don’t know who I was, I don’t know who I am, and with the way things are looking, I’m not sure I ever will. And honestly, it feels so empty.

I don’t even pray anymore, which is strange for me. I used to be spiritual. I prayed a lot, especially because I struggled with sleep paralysis. I believed everything could be done through prayer, so I prayed hard. I believed prayer could fix anything, but things have changed. I don’t pray now.

My self-esteem is so low that one comment, something small that shouldn’t hurt, can ruin my whole week. I can tell lies that would earn me a standing ovation. I’m so good at manipulating people you’d think I studied it.

In all of this, I know I’m just a seed of what I’ve been through. I’ve listened to podcasts and motivational quotes, even the ones people find annoying. I’ve done audio therapy. I’ve joined support groups. But I’ve lost the passion to live with purpose.

My mom thinks I’m a normal kid, and my dad keeps me home now, trying to protect me from men, but neither of them knows that the damage was already done. Back when everything was happening, my mom was living abroad and my dad was working in another country, and now they act like they’re shielding me from what I’d already been through, but they’re too late.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I’m 18 right now, and I want to be happy. I want to stand in front of the mirror and stop pretending. I want to stop doubting myself. I want to be free from everything that’s happened to me. I’ve tried therapy, and all they say is “take your time.” But how do I do that when it feels like I’m running out of time?
\n#MyChildhoodTrauma

—Afaafa

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I don’t remember a time in my life when my mother was not bitter. I am her only child. Basically, I am the only person in her life. She raised me as a single mother. So I have had a front-row seat to all her problems.

According to the stories she told me, she was maltreated by her own mother and siblings. She is the type of person who takes on other people’s problems as if they were her own. You know, an empath to a fault. Because of that, her family took advantage of her. Whenever there were chores to do, they dumped them all on her. It didn’t matter whose responsibility it was, she did every single thing until her body wore out. This experience has contributed to the bitter person she has become.

It didn’t help matters that life didn’t favour her. Lord knows she tried her best. She studied hard, went to university, and eventually became a high school teacher. For a moment, there was a glimmer of hope for her future. She was sure that with her profession, she wouldn’t have to do labour-intensive chores again.

Unfortunately, that dream didn’t last long. She lost the job, and couldn’t find another teaching position. With bills and responsibilities piling up, she was forced to take the streets and hustle. She sold water, biscuits, and juice.

It kept us afloat but it wasn’t easy to do. Her body, already weakened from years of overwork, began to fail her. Now she struggles with chest pains, leg pains, and sometimes pain throughout her whole body.

This has made her more bitter than ever. That’s my biggest problem with her. I know she’s hurt, but I believe she should make peace with her past and move on. Unfortunately, she has refused to do that.

Every single day she cries and curses her mother and siblings. As her daughter, it gets exhausting to hear the same pain repeated daily. Sometimes I even dread going home because I know I’ll meet the same bitterness. Since my childhood, curses have been her anthem.

I understand they wronged her, but I don’t understand why she can’t forgive. Forgiveness is something she never wants to hear about—even when preachers speak on it, she shuts down completely.

Sometimes I feel her bitterness is the very reason life has been hard for her. Maybe if she had let go, she would have had a more positive outlook on life and found ways to improve her living conditions. It probably would have saved her from her current situation, but she won’t do it. All she thinks about is cursing her oppressors, even those who are already dead.

She has no time or mental space to think of anything constructive, seeing as her mind is clouded by curses. Honestly, I’m almost giving up on her.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I want to advise her to forgive her past and live freely but I haven’t had the courage to speak to her about it because I know she won’t listen. I am even scared that if I suggest forgiveness, I’ll be counted as part of her enemies.

How do I approach this for her to listen? Also, I want to start a small business for her—something not too tiring. Does anyone have any business ideas to share with me?

—Deli

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Mother, The, Most, Bitter, Woman, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8811.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-mother-is-the-most-bitter-woman-i-know/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:06:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83013", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Don’t Feel Anything When My Husband Touches Me", "title_slug": "i-dont-feel-anything-when-my-husband-touches-me", "title_hash": "44ae3fa61185f709510ad4fb3e40f989", "summary": "I am a 21-year-old married woman. I love my husband so much. My only problem in this marriage right now is that I don’t enjoy intimacy. It’s not about the …", "content": "

I am a 21-year-old married woman. I love my husband so much. My only problem in this marriage right now is that I don’t enjoy intimacy. It’s not about the size of my husband—he is a full package.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

The truth is, I had a dark past where I have been with different men from a young age. I think I started when I was th(ir)teen. I have changed. My husband knows this. He knows everything about my story. I also told him that I don’t really enjoy intimacy or reach ɔrgasm like other women do. The only time I can is when I do it myself.

When I’m with my husband, I always hope I’ll get there, but I don’t. Instead, I start feeling sore because I’m not feeling anything.

He is good with his fingers, oh, he plays me like a violin. His tongue game is fire. And when it gets to the main show and he goes all in, it feels like home. Yet none of these magical skills turn me into a blabbering mess who has experienced too much pleasure.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Even in the past, when I was with other men, I never used to get there. I didn’t mind back then. Maybe I was too young to care about those things. But now I do—I want to experience it like other women.

Unfortunately, I have become worse since I got pregnant. I don’t even have feelings for intimacy anymore. It makes me feel sorry for my husband, because it looks like I am rejecting him. I swear it’s not intentional. Sometimes I even force myself to give in, but still nothing happens. Please, what should I do? I think I need help.

—Tasha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Don’t, Feel, Anything, When, Husband, Touches", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8845.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-dont-feel-anything-when-my-husband-touches-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:06:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83011", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Have Everything In This Marriage Except Happiness", "title_slug": "i-have-everything-in-this-marriage-except-happiness", "title_hash": "e3eb5ef3dfa96affd511bbceddae1fb7", "summary": "I long to feel loved and valued. I have said this to my husband several times but he doesn’t get it. I just wish he would understand that affection, intentionality, …", "content": "

I long to feel loved and valued. I have said this to my husband several times but he doesn’t get it. I just wish he would understand that affection, intentionality, and shared moments matter to me. All he does is tell me he loves and appreciates me. I don’t see any of that in his actions. How can someone truly love a woman without being intentional about showing it?

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

He was always like this when we got married. I was 25 then. He told me he was raised in a polygamous family. This means he never had a good example of how to love a woman properly. His father wasn’t the kind of man to be affectionate with his women. That’s why I was patient with him right from the beginning.

I didn’t hold it against him when he didn’t celebrate my birthday or when he treated our anniversary as if it was just a regular day. I gave him grace. I made excuses for him.

“Oh, he is not used to the notion of romance and showing grand gestures. Maybe he will come around.”

I told myself that all that mattered was that we were building our life together.

Now, I am in my mid-thirties, and I find myself very unhappy with the way things have been over the years. He is not an irresponsible husband, far from that. Even when he is detached and distant, he has never shirked his responsibilities. He is a great provider.

When we started having kids he asked me to stay home to take care of the family. “Leave the bills to me,” he said, “I will focus on bringing home the daily bread.”

I listened to him, and so far, I don’t regret it. Our arrangement has worked smoothly over the years. That’s one thing I love about him, he is a man of his word.

Another thing I am grateful for is how deeply he loves our children. I couldn’t have asked for a better father for them. We raise them in a peaceful and loving home. There was not a day that they were disturbed because they saw us fighting. That’s not who we are, we rarely argue even. When there is a misunderstanding somewhere, we just sit and talk about it.

I am giving all this context so you won’t think I have a bad marriage. What I have, is a marriage that feels empty to me. There’s no true intimacy or genuine affection between us.

He avoids conversations about “us”, you know, just the two of us as a couple. He thinks that because I am physically well and financially taken care of, I should be emotionally fine as well. When I try to tell him my emotional needs have been neglected, he dismisses me.

“You are just looking for problems where there are none,” he would say.

If there is an actual problem I am addressing, he would say it’s not a big deal, and that I am the one making mountains out of molehills.

For instance, to this day, he never wants to celebrate my birthdays. He still treats our anniversaries like ordinary days. I’ve told him how much this hurts me, but he shows no interest in changing. Last month, on our 10th wedding anniversary, he was away in the U.S. for work. All he did was call to say “happy anniversary,” and that was it.

Meanwhile, I had prepared a gift package for him. He, on the other hand, didn’t bother getting any gifts for me. I felt heartbroken.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Even after he returned from being away for four years, his time is mostly spent with friends or on family outings. Every attempt I have made to plan a date night for just the two of us has been turned down.

Marriage is a continuous work but it appears my husband has given up. He is content with the way things are. I don’t know if I should keep pushing for things to change or if I should continue being unhappy. I just want us to spice things up a little. Am I asking for too much?

—Francess

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Have, Everything, This, Marriage, Except, Happiness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8858.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-have-everything-in-this-marriage-except-happiness/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:06:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "83012", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Didn’t Know Our Relationship Was Over Until I Asked For Her Hand In Marriage", "title_slug": "i-didnt-know-our-relationship-was-over-until-i-asked-for-her-hand-in-marriage", "title_hash": "fd9c172f2d920b7df11d7ba3b581c5ad", "summary": "I helped her through school. I’m not going to sit here and say I did everything for her while she was in school but I helped. Little things; money for …", "content": "

I helped her through school. I’m not going to sit here and say I did everything for her while she was in school but I helped. Little things; money for books, contributed to school fees and also bought groceries for her. When she needed pocket money and I had money, I sent it to her. I mean the things a man would do for the woman he loves.

While she was in school, she told me she couldn’t be intimate with me because she wanted to focus on her academics. I agreed. So all the times we spent together, the farthest we could go was a kiss.

I was content. Her presence was all I needed. A young man my age could also forget about sleeping around and focus on my business and I did just that. I gave her the credit for bringing stability into my life. I told her, “My thank you for being the woman to bring this stability into my life is to make this relationship permanent right after school.”

She told me she would be honored to be my wife and we even set a date, which was her first birthday right after national service.

After school, she took me to see her parents. I met whoever mattered in her family and they all bought into our relationship. I took her home too. She had already met my parents, as a friend, but this time, I introduced her as the woman I was going to marry.

When she started her national service, I started buying what we would need for our marriage. Everything I bought, I gave to her to keep. When she thought of something we needed, she told me and we bought it. At this point, we had started getting intimate because school was out of the way.

Where she did her service wasn’t far from where I lived so at first, she was staying with me and was going to the office. A few months into her national service, she told me the company had a place for service personnel and she wanted to move there. I didn’t like the idea. “Must you go?” I asked. She responded, “It’s an experience I want to have. Plus if we continue living together, what will we celebrate when we marry?”

She moved out of my place when all I wanted was for her to stay.

By the time she completed national service, I’d bought almost everything we needed for our marriage. We only had to go for the list and buy what might be on the list that we didn’t think of.

She told me one day, “I discussed the marriage with my parents and they think I should get a job first.” I asked, “Did you tell them I’m OK taking care of you until you get a job?” She answered, “I said everything but my dad thinks the best option is for me to get a job first.”

So we put our marriage plans on the side and started looking for a good job for her. I got her a sales job but she declined. A godfather of mine wanted to employ her as his personal assistant. The salary was good. The perks were mouthwatering but she declined, saying she wanted to have a job that fell in line with what she studied in school.

A year came to pass quietly and there was no job. I’d started seeing frustration in her attitude. And that frustration brought a distance between us. She constantly told me she was working hard to get a job so I shouldn’t worry about the space between us or whatever I thought was the problem. But one day, I told myself, “Why not talk to her father directly and convince him about the marriage? Maybe if we were married, she wouldn’t be frustrated about a job.”

I went to see her parents. I bore my heart out to them about everything. Her dad was looking confused. Her mom too kept shaking her head. Her dad interrupted and asked, “You mean you’re still together with my daughter?” I said gleefully, “Oh yeah, we would have been married by now if you didn’t kick against it.”

The man said, “Me? Kicked against marriage?”

All the while I was waiting for her to get a job, she had told her dad the relationship between us didn’t work and had gone ahead to introduce another man to them as the one she was with.

I laughed when her dad narrated the story, thinking it was a joke. Her dad called her on the phone and put her on a loudspeaker. He asked, “Were you not the one who said the relationship didn’t work? Why is he here now talking about marriage?”

She was rather angry asking me why I would go to her house when she wasn’t there. Finally she said, “I don’t want the relationship anymore but I didn’t know how to tell him.”

Heartbreaks are silent pain. It creeps in silently and makes your heart its home. Mine was loud and turbulent. I could literally feel my heart melting after the crash. I screamed, “Herh Dora, what are you saying? If it’s a joke please stop it because it’s not funny.”

She went quiet on the phone. Her mom said, “Dora, so if you treat a man like this, do you think you’ll ever experience happiness?” She asked if her mom was cursing her and then dropped the line. Maybe she blocked me because my calls didn’t reach her the whole day that day.

In the night while I was shattered and miserable, I told myself, “What else do I want to hear from her? It’s OK. I won’t bother her again.”

She came to my house with her dad. When they started apologizing, I thought she wanted a way back into the relationship which I was ready to accept. But she came to say sorry for how she treated me. She begged me to forgive the lies so there would be peace. I hate myself for crying that day. And I hate myself more for making her see my tears.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

The guy she met was a Nigerian. She’s currently married to him and they are both in Nigeria currently. I see her on Facebook. She comments here often. I hope she reads this. I hope she comments too. Because I want to know how she would have felt if I was the one who did this to her.

—Ralph

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******

", "keywords": ", Didn’t, Know, Our, Relationship, Was, Over, Until, Asked, For, Her, Hand, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/2149444529.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-didnt-know-our-relationship-was-over-until-i-asked-for-her-hand-in-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-16 08:06:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82309", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When You're Talking About Sex and SHE Takes the Lead", "title_slug": "when-youre-talking-about-sex-and-she-takes-the-lead", "title_hash": "6c0351d9f7f778a15009c1b41ad35037", "summary": "You’re talking to a girl about sex, and she gets into it and takes the lead role. Great! She’s into the topic. Don’t steal her thunder – but don’t leave her in charge too long, either.\nHey guys. Hope you are doing well.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"when$ You’re talking to a girl about sex, and she gets into it and takes the lead role. Great! She’s into the topic. Don’t steal her thunder – but don’t leave her in charge too long, either.

Hey guys. Hope you are doing well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "When, Youre, Talking, About, Sex, and, SHE, Takes, the, Lead", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/girl-leads-sex-talk-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/when-youre-talking-about-sex-and-she-takes-lead", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82310", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dogged Follow Up with Girls: The Whats & Whys", "title_slug": "dogged-follow-up-with-girls-the-whats-whys", "title_hash": "8a89bb4e08dc69160406e65149d84ff8", "summary": "Doggedly following up with girls can get you girls. But why? Isn’t it try-hard? Doesn’t it make you look bad? Dogged yet CALIBRATED follow up is neither – and here is why.\nCommenting on my article about following up doggedly with girls, Alejandro says:\nChase,\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"the$ Doggedly following up with girls can get you girls. But why? Isn’t it try-hard? Doesn’t it make you look bad? Dogged yet CALIBRATED follow up is neither – and here is why.

Commenting on my article about following up doggedly with girls, Alejandro says:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Dogged, Follow, with, Girls:, The, Whats, Whys", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/dogged-follow-up-whys-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/dogged-follow-girls-whats-whys", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82308", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What It Means When Your Partner Turns Away After Being Intimate", "title_slug": "what-it-means-when-your-partner-turns-away-after-being-intimate", "title_hash": "66a6f1e23526dbfac38b4cb9b93befb5", "summary": "It’s a moment that catches people off guard. You just shared something personal, something that felt close and…", "content": "It’s a moment that catches people off guard. You just shared something personal, something that felt close and…", "keywords": "What, Means, When, Your, Partner, Turns, Away, After, Being, Intimate", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/making-love-e1757772619570.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/what-it-means-when-your-partner-turns-away-after-being-intimate/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82306", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Lines Men Use When They Only Want One Thing", "title_slug": "9-lines-men-use-when-they-only-want-one-thing", "title_hash": "ce5cd9af356d75d63428f779f04f8584", "summary": "Some men know exactly what to say to make you blush. They know the right timing, the flattering…", "content": "Some men know exactly what to say to make you blush. They know the right timing, the flattering…", "keywords": ", Lines, Men, Use, When, They, Only, Want, One, Thing", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/one-thing-thumb-1-e1757778453380.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-lines-men-use-when-they-only-want-one-thing/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82307", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Sweet Things Women Secretly Want to Hear During Closeness", "title_slug": "10-sweet-things-women-secretly-want-to-hear-during-closeness", "title_hash": "dd922b2cbd8136a8a3ea436580d95792", "summary": "Closeness is more than just touch. It’s about being seen, being valued, and feeling connected in a way…", "content": "Closeness is more than just touch. It’s about being seen, being valued, and feeling connected in a way…", "keywords": ", Sweet, Things, Women, Secretly, Want, Hear, During, Closeness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/sweetthings-thumb-e1757776980729.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-sweet-things-women-secretly-want-to-hear-during-closeness/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82305", "lang_id": "1", "title": "12 Lessons About Intimacy We All Wish We Could Have Learned When We Were Younger", "title_slug": "12-lessons-about-intimacy-we-all-wish-we-could-have-learned-when-we-were-younger", "title_hash": "af025960d4972771d34b41e4857daf7e", "summary": "Let’s be honest. Nobody really teaches us about intimacy in a way that feels human. We pick things…", "content": "Let’s be honest. Nobody really teaches us about intimacy in a way that feels human. We pick things…", "keywords": ", Lessons, About, Intimacy, All, Wish, Could, Have, Learned, When, Were, Younger", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/learned-e1757918750577.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/lessons-about-intimacy-we-all-wish-we-could-have-learned/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82302", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: How Do I Approach My First Time in Drag?", "title_slug": "str8curious-how-do-i-approach-my-first-time-in-drag", "title_hash": "6bf9fe281e78e065938dae3766347ab1", "summary": "I'm Kind of Curious About Experimenting With Drag. How Do I Approach My First Time?", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\r\nThe Question\r\n“I’m a straight and cisgender man, yet I’ve had a sudden desire to dress up in drag. I have no clue where it stems from but I like the idea of completely transforming my appearance and getting in touch with my feminine side. Where do I even begin and how do I ensure that I’m not doing it in an offensive way?” - Rodney, Portland, OR\r\nThe Answer\r\nOne of my favorite RuPaul quotes is “We’re all born naked and the rest is drag.” \r\nWhether it’s a three-piece suit, a frilly dress, or a hodgepodge of thrifted items from Goodwill, clothes are an expression of personal style and an extension of how we want the world to perceive us. \r\nBut sometimes we yearn to bend the rules and experiment with outfits that defy gender “norms” and conformity. And that’s entirely okay! The most dynamic and complex humans don’t attract attention by playing things safe — they creatively, boldly, and confidently explore their identities while not giving two effs about what others may think of them.\r\nSo first and foremost, kudos to you for having an open mind and a willingness to explore this side of yourself. Some of the best episodes of Drag Race feature heterosexual men trying drag during makeover challenges and they, perhaps more than any special guest on the show, embody their female personas wholeheartedly and completely transform into these characters. \r\nIt’s simply human instinct (and fun!) to play roles that are different from our everyday lives. \r\nMy first bit of advice is to start by experimenting behind closed doors. If you’re scared of shopping for clothing, makeup, and accessories in person, order them online for easy and discreet delivery. This will allow for you to get a better sense of how you feel while wearing said get-up and seeing yourself in the mirror for the first time. \r\nSecond, drag isn’t inherently offensive unless your intention is to make a mockery of specific people. And even this approach has a gray area, as imitation of noteworthy figures can often be considered art or a form of flattery. But if anything you’re doing feels like you’re poking fun at or stereotyping women in general, especially those who are trans, err on the side of caution and simply don’t go there. \r\nWhile some might see Halloween as a good first-time opportunity to lean into girlhood, it has its drawbacks, too. \r\nWhile there is a comfort in knowing that everyone around you is also dressed up, it still may limit the ability to really tap into a side of yourself that you’ve put on the back burner for so long, as people will see your costume as just something you’ve done for the holiday, rather than an exploration or expression of self. \r\nThat being said, if you think wading into this slowly is the right approach for you, maybe starting with a fun Halloween costume is the way to do it. \r\nRELATED: What Your Halloween Costume Says About You \r\nWhen it comes to the look itself, there are plenty of YouTube tutorials that detail the process of getting into drag, from makeup tips and wig styling sessions to tutorials on walking in heels and tucking (the act of taping genitals to give the illusion of having a vagina). \r\nAnd while it may be your instinct to simply ask a local queen for help, please keep in mind that drag is not only an artistic expression, but also a career. These ladies will expect some type of compensation for their time and you should be ready and willing to fork over some cash to support them \r\nRELATED: Why You Should Appreciate Drag Queen Culture \r\nOnce you’ve given it a go, get in tune with your emotions. Do you feel more confident? More beautiful? More empathetic to the struggles that women face before they get ready for a night on the town? \r\nIf drag is something you want to dabble in occasionally, that’s fine! If it’s something you want to pursue more frequently and potentially in a public setting, search for amateur drag nights at your local gay bar and sign up. The community should be nothing short of supportive as you start this journey that is—dare I say—fabulous. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nStr8Curious: Gay Sex & Dating Slang, Explained Str8Curious: Common Questions About Gay Guys, Answered Str8Curious: How to Make a Profile for a Gay Online Dating App", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, How, Approach, First, Time, Drag", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/str8curious-how-do-i-approach-my-first-time-in-drag/askmen-lead-image-2x1-41-1757705454.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/str8curious-how-do-i-approach-my-first-time-in-drag.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82303", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Music Lovers", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-music-lovers", "title_hash": "41fbf624a5a5c13d90b169e7317c4a13", "summary": "Our Favorite Gift Options for All Self-Proclaimed Music Aficionados", "content": "Music lovers are an obsessive bunch. Luckily, they’re also pretty easy to shop for. No matter if you purchase a special edition album or a home decor accessory inspired by their favorite musician, you're pretty much guaranteed to strike the right chord on Christmas morning.\r\nRELATED: Best Christmas Gifts for Men\r\nStill, to spare you the time and energy it takes to find these perfect presents on the web, we went ahead and curated a list of the best gifts for music lovers. Whether your giftee is a classically-trained musician, an aspiring DJ, or a classic rock fan, you're working with a lofty budget or a low one.\r\n\r\nBest Gifts for Music Lovers\r\n\r\nCustom Soundwave Aluminum Art\r\n\r\nTurn their favorite song into a piece of art. Soundwave Art converts audio to a waveform that can be combined with other images to create a unique piece of art to proudly display in their home. You can get regular prints, canvases or even wood and metal prints of the song that makes them light up whenever they hear (or in this case, see) it.\r\nFind out more at SoundWaveArt.com\r\nScribd\r\n\r\nIn addition to providing access to an extensive library of e-books, audiobooks, and magazines, Scribd gives users the opportunity to check out sheet music, too. No matter if they’re a novice guitarist or an avid pianist, there’s a wide range of sheet music books ready for play.\r\nFrom $11.99 per month at Scribd.com\r\nComposers: Their Lives and Works - DK\r\n\r\nThe classical music fan will love pouring through the pages of this coffee-table book. Featuring stories, facts, insights, and images from the personal and professional lives of more than 90 of the world’s most influential composers, ranging from medieval days to the present day.\r\n$45.36 at Amazon.com\r\nThe Beatles Themed Coasters\r\n\r\nBring the fab four to happy hour with this set of Beatles coasters, capturing the carnivalesque fun of the most famous band of the 1960s.\r\n$12.23 at Etsy.com\r\nMusic-Themed Playing Cards\r\n\r\nShopping for stocking stuffers? Add these music-themed playing cards to your cart. Not only does each card feature a different music legend, from Bob Dylan to Beyonce, but each suit represents a music category diamonds= folk, hearts= pop, etc.\r\n$18 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nPersonalized Amp Doormat\r\n\r\nThis amp doormat will set the tone for their at-home studio, office space, or front entrance, and it can be personalized with their family name.\r\n$50 at UncommonGoods.com\r\nColdplay Apparel\r\n\r\nThis year marks the 10th anniversary of Coldplay’s holiday hit song “Christmas Lights.” Help them celebrate the occasion and get cozy with this crewneck sweatshirt, featuring the four guys of the band donning Santa Claus hats.\r\nFrom $25 at Coldplay.com\r\nRecord Bowl\r\n\r\nLet your giftee show off their love of a good beat through their home decor with a fun record bowl. Melted down from real records, these bowls are not meant to get wet but are perfect for holding dry items.\r\nFrom $19.99 at Etsy.com\r\nHAUS AND HUES Vintage Guitar Print Poster\r\n\r\n\r\nA fun graphic design, but also an attractive one. This print features classic guitar deigns, ranging from electric to acoustic.\r\n$15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAudio Technica AT-LP120XUSB Turntable\r\n\r\nThe perfect beginner turntable for the serious music fan. In terms of quality, it leaves most starter record players in the dust without costing a small fortune. The LP120 series boasts a balanced tonearm, anti-skate control, an internal pre-amp (which can be bypassed), and the ability to convert LPs to digital files through USB. \r\n$449 at Amazon.com\r\nSony Noise Cancelling Headphones WH1000XM4\r\n\r\n\r\nA good pair of over-ear headphones is a no-brainer gift for the music lover in your life. These Sony’s offer some of the best noise cancellation on the market, wired and wireless connections, Alexa-compatibility, and simple touch interfaces to control volume and track selection.\r\n$348 at Amazon.com\r\nAerodrums Air Drumming Percussion Instrument\r\n\r\nDrummers have it rough. Without a soundproof basement or studio, there’s almost nowhere they can practice thanks to the sheer amount of noise their instrument makes. Enter Aerodrums. Using a Playstation camera trained at reflective surfaces on the sticks and feet, they can air drum their way through various software kits while laying down production quality beats.\r\n$249 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Christmas Gifts for Parents\r\n\r\nImage Line FL Studio 20 Producer Edition\r\n\r\nGreat for those looking to make the jump from Garageband to something more professional and full-featured. Fruity Loops has been a favorite of music producers since the late ‘90s and the new versions are finally compatible with Mac OS as well as Windows. The Producer Edition includes popular plugins such as Edison, SliceX, and Vocoder.\r\n$195 at Amazon.com\r\nTicket Stub Diary\r\n\r\nConcert attendance is a point of pride for music lovers. A ticket stub diary lets your favorite music aficionado collect their badges of honor in one place where they’ll be safe from the ravages of time. Even if they can't attend a concert in person this year, filling this diary is sure to bring back wonderful memories.\r\n$16.95 at Amazon.com\r\nJBL Clip 3 Portable Bluetooth Speaker\r\n\r\nWhether they’re bringing their tunes to the great outdoors or they just really need some beats to sing along to in the shower, the JBL Clip 3 waterproof speaker is up for the job. It also has a handy carabiner clip to make sure they can mount it to just about anything.\r\n$47.95 at Amazon.com\r\nSpotify Premium Subscription\r\n\r\nWhile they might already have a Spotify membership, switching to premium will make a world of difference. Not only does a premium membership mean no add interruptions, but they can download podcasts and playlists to listen to without using data.\r\n$11.99/month at Spotify.com\r\nRode NT1 (5th Generation) Microphone\r\n\r\n\r\nWanna lay down vocals over your newly created track? You’ll need a decent microphone. It’s a buyer’s market when it comes to mics, but it’s important to choose one that’s specifically for vocals in this case. This mic is insanely quiet and comes with a shock mount and pop shield, making it perfect for studio recording.\r\n$245 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tUnique Christmas Gifts\r\n\tBest Gift Ideas for Boyfriends\r\n\tBest Gifts for Beer Lovers", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Music, Lovers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/hobby/best-gifts-for-music-lovers/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757685316.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/hobby/best-gifts-for-music-lovers.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82304", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Primal Movement And Can It Make You Fitter?", "title_slug": "what-is-primal-movement-and-can-it-make-you-fitter", "title_hash": "d7ac1a5f3b74fef28fac936ae5c9d1c0", "summary": "Set Yourself Up for a Lifetime of Better Mobility With the Primal Movement Trend", "content": "Have you ever observed a baby in action, figuring out how to crawl or dropping into a squat with perfect form? It’s one of the best ways to understand primal movement, a type of workout based on natural human movements you’re hardwired to perform. \r\nIn a world where sitting in front of a screen for hours is the norm, primal movement can help your body unlearn the habits that cause poor posture, stiff joints and aches and pains. Here’s what it is, how it can benefit you, and how to incorporate primal movement into your routine.\r\nRELATED: What Is Mobility Training and Why Does It Matter?\r\n\r\nWhat Is Primal Movement?\r\n\r\nPrimal movement is “training your body to function the way it was designed,” says Marshall Weber, certified personal trainer and owner of Jack City Fitness. \r\nIt’s a form of functional training, meaning it mimics movements you do in daily life and includes compound moves that recruit several muscle groups at once. It also explores different planes of motion (not just front to back or up and down), such as moving diagonally or rotating.\r\nIf you search for primal movement workouts, you’ll come across seven foundational movement patterns: \r\nSquat: Lowering yourself to the ground and back up with a full range of motion.Lunge: Stepping forward, backward or to the side. Hinge: Bending at the hips, like when you perform a deadlift or pick something up off the floor.Push: Pressing away, like when you do a push-up. Pull: Pulling yourself up towards something, like when you do a pull-up.Twist: Rotating through the spine and torso. Gait: Walking, jogging or any other way of moving through space that gets you from point A to B.\r\nThese seven moves cover almost every way you’d move naturally if weight rooms didn’t exist and you were still hunting and gathering. \r\nA primal movement workout combines several of them in a flowy sequence or circuit. There’s usually some floor work involved. As for load, most primal movement workouts are bodyweight ones, though you can certainly incorporate tools like kettlebells and sandbags to ramp up the challenge.\r\n\r\nBenefits of Primal Movement\r\n\r\nMobility workouts are having a moment, perhaps because there are more conversations about longevity happening in the wellness world. Being able to keep moving your body without pain as you age is a worthy goal, and it’s something many people struggle with. Primal movement workouts can help with that.\r\n“If you consider how much mobility can be lost from sitting at a desk all day, these kinds of movements can really help us out more than we think. You will also be providing your joints the opportunity to get stronger as well. You can essentially consider primal movement as training for life,” adds Weber.\r\nBeyond functional strength and mobility, primal movement accomplishes something deeper: It can help you reconnect with your body, according to Katie Armstrong, functional health and longevity coach. \r\nOne way it does this is through proprioception, the body’s ability to sense its own position and movement. This process happens subconsciously, but it’s what allows you to perform complex movements in and out of the gym. It’s what a basketball player would rely on to dribble without thinking about it, for example. Improving proprioception can support your performance and reduce your risk of injury.\r\nPrimal movement can even regulate your nervous system through the mind-body connection. “There’s a meditative quality to it. By returning to instinctive movement, we tap into presence and play, which are often missing from modern fitness,” says Armstrong. \r\nFinally, it’s a scalable workout, so it’s suitable for beginners and advanced exercisers alike. “Primal movement can meet you exactly where you are. You can begin with gentle ground-based patterns and gradually explore more dynamic flows,” adds Armstrong. Whether you’re recovering from an injury and want to ease back into working out with foundational movements or you’re an athlete looking to cross-train, it can work for you.\r\n\r\nHow to Incorporate Primal Movement Into Your Routine\r\n\r\nReady to try primal movement workouts? They don’t need to replace your whole fitness routine, as they complement other types of exercise well – here are a few ways to try them out. \r\nTry Animal Flow Drills\r\nHave you heard of animal flow drills? They fall into the bigger primal movement umbrella, and they can be a fun place to start. They’re ground-based workouts inspired by the way animals move – think rolling, twisting and crawling in smooth sequences. \r\nStart small, recommends Weber: “Consider a few minutes of crawling or deep squat holds as a warm up, or finish a workout with some animal flow drills. It’s simple, effective, and will make you feel more athletic in everything you do.”\r\nExplore and Follow Your Instincts\r\nYou can also take a few minutes to explore different movements without a structure. “Move to music. Try crawling, deep squat holds, rolling or spinal undulations – anything that feels nourishing,” suggests Armstrong, who programs warm-ups and cool-downs for clients using these principles. “Over time, [people] learn to stretch, move and reset based on how their body feels rather than following a rigid script.” \r\nTake Movement Breaks Throughout the Day\r\nWhy not incorporate primal movement into your day? From dropping into a squat while waiting for the coffee to brew to stretching and moving gently before bed, think of it like a movement snack. Even something like walking with more awareness, engaging your core and being more mindful of your posture, can be part of embracing primal movement principles. \r\nYour body is meant to move, and primal movement is a way to honor that. You don’t need an elaborate routine to reap the benefits of moving intuitively and mastering the basics. Start with a few minutes a day or look for workouts that incorporate all seven foundational movements in a sequence.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Understanding the Cold Water Therapy TrendThe Best Massage & Recovery ToolsHow to Optimize Workout Recovery", "keywords": "What, Primal, Movement, And, Can, Make, You, Fitter", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/what-is-primal-movement-and-can-it-make-you-fitter/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757683329.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/what-is-primal-movement-and-can-it-make-you-fitter.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82296", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice (…with a Side of Sizzle!)", "title_slug": "pumpkin-spice-everything-nice-with-a-side-of-sizzle", "title_hash": "b3439480a91398dbd2ac214b8d4220e6", "summary": "Spice up your marriage this fall with pumpkin spice date night ideas! From cozy treats to a playful spinner game, add a flirty spark to your season.\nThe post Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice (…with a Side of Sizzle!) appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Spice up your marriage this fall with pumpkin spice date night ideas! From cozy treats to a playful spinner game, add a flirty spark to your season.

The post Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice (…with a Side of Sizzle!) appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Pumpkin, Spice, Everything, Nice, …with, Side, Sizzle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Spice-It-Up-Spinner-2.mp4?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/pumpkin-spice-everything-nice-with-a-side-of-sizzle/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:25:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82153", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Superpower Keeps Breaking My Heart", "title_slug": "my-superpower-keeps-breaking-my-heart", "title_hash": "c688c24c52e7f424a8371dfa403fafc9", "summary": "I’m sharing this because I honestly don’t know if it’s ruining my life or saving me. One thing I do know is that my gut feeling has never failed me; …", "content": "

I’m sharing this because I honestly don’t know if it’s ruining my life or saving me. One thing I do know is that my gut feeling has never failed me; it never disappoints me. Every time it speaks, something eventually happens. I’ve seen it play out over and over again.

The first time I knew for sure that my gut was my superpower was when my mom and dad split up. My siblings and I stayed with our dad. It wasn’t easy, and even though he tried his best, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t play the role of our mother. I used to sit and imagine my mom coming back home, and I would jump in the air for joy, scream at my siblings, and tell them my mama was home, but she never came back to us.

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Then a new tenant moved into the compound, a very nice lady. I wasn’t around when she moved in, but the moment I saw her, I just knew. I felt it deep down that she was going to use her woman powers to get close to my dad, and they would become an item. And guess what? That’s exactly what happened not long after.

I am an adult now and this superpower gut of mine has been quite helpful but there is a problem…

My first boyfriend, Kojo, was amazing at first. We clicked instantly, and everything felt smooth. But then, out of nowhere, my gut told me he was married. I tried to ignore it, but the nagging feeling wouldn’t go away.

It was a long-distance relationship, and I hadn’t visited him in about six months. When I finally did, the first thing I saw in his living room was a portrait of a woman, the only picture on the wall. He noticed my reaction and quickly said she was his big sister. I knew right then that something was off. Later, I found wedding photos hidden in his gallery, and that was the end.

We all say after heartbreak that we’re done with love. I said it too, but when one of those good and rich photographers living in the estates asked me out, I said yes because I liked him too. I really thought I had found my soulmate.

Then my superpower showed up again. I felt he was hiding something and that he had a sugar mummy, a white one too, and he was just using me to pass time.

That one too, I was right. After about a year and some months, this man told me he was going to his hometown. Later I found out his sugar mummy had actually flown him out of the country. He broke up with me. I said again that love was a scam and I wasn’t doing it anymore. I told myself I was better off single. But then I met Kwesi, and he looked like the one.

I gave him a tough time and played hard to get for a whole year. During that time, I was waiting for my gut to tell me something. That he was married, or had a sugar mummy, or had a girlfriend, just something. But nothing came, so I thought maybe I had finally found the one.

I said yes to Kwesi, and it’s been good. Amazing in fact. But currently, my gut has started talking and it’s saying Kwesi is gay. He’s in a relationship with a friend I’ve been studying critically.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I started thinking maybe my village people are at it again, trying to mess with the love I just found. He’s always with this friend. You call him, and he’s at the house of that friend. When he’s out, he’s out with this same friend, and it feels like I’m sharing my boyfriend with him. What made me more suspicious was that their chat is the only chat locked on his phone. I asked why, and he said I couldn’t read their boys’ stuff. That felt weird.

Now I’m wondering if my gut superpower is going to get this one wrong. I’m praying it doesn’t, but deep down, I’m not at peace.

I don’t know if this gut feeling is a gift or a curse. Is it protecting me, or is it making me paranoid? All I know is, it’s never been wrong.

—Martha

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", Superpower, Keeps, Breaking, Heart", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/36110.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-superpower-keeps-breaking-my-heart/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:18:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82154", "lang_id": "1", "title": "His Mother Buys Everything For Him, Even His Boxer Shorts", "title_slug": "his-mother-buys-everything-for-him-even-his-boxer-shorts", "title_hash": "ae044efe2808421be1ed411aa8d6c6d9", "summary": "He lives with his mom. He told me right from the start of the relationship that his mom was everything to him and couldn’t afford to live apart from her. …", "content": "

He lives with his mom. He told me right from the start of the relationship that his mom was everything to him and couldn’t afford to live apart from her. I didn’t have a problem with that because I’ve been told a man who loves his mom will always respect his wife because he knows what it takes to love a woman.

We could sit for hours and every turn of our conversation, he would bring his mom in. I couldn’t wait to meet this woman who had been able to raise a man like that.

We were in love in Feb. I accepted his proposal in March but he wouldn’t take me home, because according to him, he had to know me very well so he could explain me to his mom. If he knew me and was able to convince his mom, it would be easier for his mom to accept me. I’m not a hard girl. I don’t pretend so for the next couple of months, I gave him the best of me. Who I truly am was always on display.

We went out one weekend and he asked if we could go to his place and I said, “Why not? I’ve been ready since the beginning of this relationship.”

It was around 9pm. We got to his gate and I realized he was trying to sneak me into the house without the knowledge of his mom. He asked me to walk slowly without my feet making a sound. He wanted me to hold my breath so I wouldn’t breathe loudly. I stood there at the entrance and asked, “What are we doing? Why are you behaving like we are a band of thieves coming to steal at night?”

He answered, “I don’t want my mom to see us this way. We need to hide from her for just tonight.”

In his plan, he was sneaking me in for the night so I could wake up at dawn and leave just as I walked in. I shook my head and stepped out of the gate. I told him I wasn’t going to do that. “I’m not a girl to play around. If your mom sees me this way, what respect would she accord me? If you want to sleep with me, no problem but do the right things first.”

He tried to convince me. We argued it out. For the next twenty minutes or so, it was his conviction against my resistance. I didn’t go in. I called a Bolt and left the scene. He wasn’t pleased but as far as I knew, I was doing what my heart said was right.

A week later, on a Saturday afternoon, I followed him to his house and finally met the woman he had spoken highly of. He introduced me as his friend. His mother nodded with a ray of happiness in her eyes. She welcomed me and we sat around for a while answering her questions. She said I was always welcome and I thanked her for the reception.

After the introduction, I could go to the house as often as he wanted me to and each moment I was there, I opened my eyes to watch what was happening around.

His mother did his laundry for him. She would fold them nicely and place them in his wardrobe. She would cook and serve him the way a woman would serve a husband. Virtually, his mom cleaned after him. He told me, “That’s what you get when you’re the only male child in the family.”

A lot was going through my mind about him but I was open to learn. I held on to sex. He wanted it often but I tried as much as possible to throw in excuses to throw him off balance. One afternoon, I was in the room with him when his mother came from the market and called his name. The woman didn’t know I was there. She said, “I got you some clothes. Come and try them on and let’s see.”

She bought shirts, khakis and even boxer shorts. Because I was there, he didn’t try them. I went out to greet his mom and came inside with him.

“Even boxers?” I asked. He answered, “My mom buys everything for me ooo. Why is she my mom?”

I needed to observe his mom to know the kind of woman he was looking for. The relationship was only a few months old but I asked marriage questions—questions a potential wife will want to know from a potential husband. His answers were firm and definite. He said he loved me and could see his mother in me. I said I couldn’t compete with his mother unless I was a stay-at-home wife.

He said, “We’ll figure it out along the way.”

I had already figured things out for myself. I only needed to act so when the delay of sex became a problem between us, I told him, “If you can’t wait until I’m comfortable to do it with you then we better stop here.”

This got him infuriated and he started throwing tantrums; “You’re not even a virgin! Are your exes better than me?”

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Meanwhile, I hadn’t spoken to him about an ex or exes I gave it to. Anger for anger. Silence for silence. We went a week without talking but I knew the end had come so when he came back trying to act sorry to warm me back into the relationship, I said, “Sorry. That was the height of any disrespect I can take from a man.”

He thought we fought about sex and broke up. It wasn’t about that. It was about me not being able to compete with his mother.

", "keywords": "His, Mother, Buys, Everything, For, Him, Even, His, Boxer, Shorts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/247497.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/his-mother-buys-everything-for-him-even-his-boxer-shorts/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:18:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82152", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Am I My Boyfriend’s Bad Luck?", "title_slug": "am-i-my-boyfriends-bad-luck", "title_hash": "c3fb989ce33ab77d5887df38c3b35b07", "summary": "I just gave birth three months ago. When I met my baby daddy last year, he had a thriving business. All of that changed when I had the baby. I …", "content": "

I just gave birth three months ago. When I met my baby daddy last year, he had a thriving business. All of that changed when I had the baby. I can see how hard he is working to stabilise things but so far nothing is working.

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Day in and day out, the business is shaking. If it continues like that, it might go on and collapse. The possibility of that happening is weighing heavily on me.

He hasn’t said anything but there are days I wonder if I am the one who brought him bad luck.

Can you blame me? He was doing so well before gave birth. Is it just a coincidence that things took a drastic turn when I had the baby?

On top of that, he has been having some family disputes. So the burdens on his shoulders are on different fronts. What if he also starts thinking I am the reason he is going through difficult times?

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Some women enter a man’s life and he starts experiencing blessings. They call such women good luck charms. Can’t the opposite be said for me, whose presence seems to be bringing my man challenges? I fear he is secretly blaming me for all of it.

I am worried. I am looking for ways and means to help him bounce back, so he won’t think I am unlucky for him. I want advice from anyone who has experienced something like this, or ideas on how I can support him in this tough time.

— Narkie

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#SB

", "keywords": ", Boyfriend’s, Bad, Luck", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8725-scaled.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/am-i-my-boyfriends-bad-luck/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:18:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82151", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Was His Money Bag While He Was Secretly Dating Another Woman", "title_slug": "i-was-his-money-bag-while-he-was-secretly-dating-another-woman", "title_hash": "c08dd82c4fbb0fbd7c4c9ac89bc731fd", "summary": "I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Things were lovely when we first started dating. The future looked so bright. But shortly after we started dating, …", "content": "

I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Things were lovely when we first started dating. The future looked so bright. But shortly after we started dating, he lost his job. He was down. I was not happy to see him that way. As his woman, I went the extra mile to support him. I contacted recruitment agents and helped him search for opportunities.

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While we were doing all that, he still needed money to take care of himself and his family, considering that he was the breadwinner. I took care of that. Yes, I supported him and his family financially whenever the need arose. Every time he asked, I gave effortlessly. This went on until he got back on his feet.

Early this year, I found out I was pregnant. I was both scared and excited, but I wasn’t worried about how he would react. I believed he was mature enough to handle it. He didn’t disappoint me in that regard. He welcomed the news openly. He even promised to meet my parents so that the proper traditional rites would be performed.

Three months down the line, he hadn’t made any move to perform the rites. When I brought it up he said, “Let’s sit down and discuss the way forward.”

That’s when he told me his decision that I should terminate the pregnancy because of his financial struggles. I refused. My mother had always warned me never to commit such an act. Even if I wanted to go against her, I could not take such a step because of my Christian faith.

He then told me that if we were to keep the child, he would need a better job. Once again, I went the extra mile to help him secure one through a friend. He got the job and, through his own hard work, rose to become a manager almost immediately after he was employed.

After all that, he still had the audacity to tell me to get rid of the pregnancy. If not, then I should prepare to be abandoned by him. Herh! Is this how heartless some men can be?

I confided in my parents, and they promised to support us and even establish something small for us to start life together as a family. He rejected their help.

“You are all trying to push me into something I don’t want.”

Recently, I reached out to a lady he introduced to me as his friend. I wanted to hear her thoughts on his behaviour. Can you believe she is not just a friend?

“I have been dating him for two years now,” she told me.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

Wow! Right under my nose and I didn’t even suspect anything? This man is wicked.

Now that I know that he was just playing me, I have accepted to move on. Truly, some men don’t recognise a God-given woman until she is gone. Only then do they realise the value of what they’ve lost.

— Petra

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", "keywords": ", Was, His, Money, Bag, While, Was, Secretly, Dating, Another, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "65", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8730.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-was-his-money-bag-while-he-was-secretly-dating-another-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:18:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "82150", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She Was Pregnant For Another Man While She Took Money From Me", "title_slug": "she-was-pregnant-for-another-man-while-she-took-money-from-me", "title_hash": "fac452b10b449dd7e4f3b02b1260e69d", "summary": "Whenever she wanted something from me, she became extremely nice. She would call in the morning and ask about my night. She would call in the afternoon and ask how …", "content": "

Whenever she wanted something from me, she became extremely nice. She would call in the morning and ask about my night. She would call in the afternoon and ask how my day was going and then in the evening, she would place a request. Something like, “If you don’t send me something, I will sleep in the darkness today. My pre-paid is finished.”

We’d been in a relationship for a year. I was with her at the initial stages until my job took me far away from this place to work.

It got to a point where I was the only one doing the calls. I was the one texting, the only one watering the relationship. I talked to her about it and she said she was going to change. She did well for a few days and went back to default. I asked if there was someone. I asked if she was out of love with me. I asked if there was something I wasn’t doing.

She said all was well.

I woke up one morning and saw her many missed calls. She had called around 4am when I was sleeping. We hadn’t spoken for days. When I called back, she said she had missed me and was feeling lonely and wanted us to talk.

I knew something was coming. Before she ended the call she said, “My mom is not well ooo. She’s in a critical condition and I need only GHC500 for her medicine.”

I answered, “I don’t have it.”
\nShe said, “Alright” and the call ended.

I sent a friend to spy on her and he came back laughing. He said, “Charle, forget about her. She’s heavily pregnant.”

I was like, “Huh? For who? So all this while she was collecting money from me, she was pregnant for another man?”

I called her. Immediately I mentioned the pregnancy, she said, ”Do I also know what you’re doing there? Bra, don’t waste my time.”

And then she cut the call. I felt like a fool and I deserved it. I saw the signs but didn’t take things seriously. In my next life, nothing will push me into a long-distance relationship, no matter what.

—Eddie

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*****

", "keywords": "She, Was, Pregnant, For, Another, Man, While, She, Took, Money, From", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/freepik__adjust__97556.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/she-was-pregnant-for-another-man-while-she-took-money-from-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:18:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81885", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Colleges End Trans-Friendly Housing Policies Amid Federal Anti-DEI Push", "title_slug": "colleges-end-trans-friendly-housing-policies-amid-federal-anti-dei-push", "title_hash": "bbdc846830e634b40d4f52d8cfdad49e", "summary": "Research shows that the option to live in gender-inclusive dorms can help transgender and nonbinary students succeed in school. But some students returned to campus to find housing and bathrooms were for men or women only.\nThe post Colleges End Trans-Friendly Housing Policies Amid Federal Anti-DEI Push appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Universities across the country are rewriting, rolling back, or quietly erasing policies and programs that guaranteed trans and nonbinary students access to gender-inclusive housing and campus support. In recent months, institutions have faced a stark choice: Comply with vague, high-stakes federal mandates, or uphold policies rooted in safety, equity, and belonging—at the risk of losing federal funding.

In January 2025, President Donald Trump issued a series of sweeping executive orders dismantling diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts. Higher education quickly became one of the most visible battlegrounds, with several anti-trans orders targeting protections such as gender-inclusive housing, campus resource centers, and participation on athletic teams that align with students’ identities.

Universities have scrambled to comply in the months following. Many schools dismantled LGBTQ+ support centers, stripped affirming language from websites, and removed inclusive housing options that had seen a rising demand in recent years.

Now, with students back on campus, many are returning to a dramatically altered housing landscape. Schools that once offered housing communities dedicated to LGBTQ+ students have ended their programs, bathrooms that previously displayed all-gender signage are now designated male or female, and LGBTQ+ resource centers that connected students to counseling or peer support have been shuttered.

Research shows that transgender students report worse mental health, less stable housing, higher rates of suicide, and weaker feelings of connection at school compared to their cisgender peers. Students say that stripping away the structures that once made college feel like a refuge could make those disparities even more pronounced. And for some of those students, those changes are not just bureaucratic, but life-threatening.

Executive orders hit higher ed

Trump’s executive orders quickly reshaped higher education policy this year.

In January, the Department of Education was directed to revise Title IX guidance, which had ensured that students could not be discriminated against in education programs, housing, or athletics because of their gender identity. Another order threatened to withhold federal funding from public institutions that maintained DEI programs, while a third banned federally-funded schools from allowing transgender women to compete on women’s athletic teams. Together, the changes signaled a sweeping rollback of crucial protections for transgender and nonbinary students across campuses.

These measures directly affect a relatively small share of university students: Inside Higher Ed reported in April 2023 that in 2022, 2.2 percent of fall applicants identified as transgender or nonbinary, and 3 percent used pronouns other than she/her or he/him.

Yet these students are among the most dependent on specialized housing and support programs—resources that universities have steadily expanded since the 1960s, when civil rights protections first pushed schools to better serve marginalized populations. Now, Trump’s executive orders have prompted schools and collegiate associations to preemptively review, scale back, or eliminate those very resources.

Researchers have long argued that gender-inclusive policies can directly influence transgender and nonbinary students’ mental health, safety, and academic success. A 2024 survey by the Trevor Project, an organization that works to combat LGBTQ+ youth suicide, found that transgender and nonbinary students who described their schools as gender-affirming reported lower rates of suicide attempts than peers in unsupportive environments. Separate research from UCLA’s Williams Institute, drawing on the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey of adults, showed that people who experienced discrimination because of their transgender identity attempted suicide at more than double the rate of those who did not experience such mistreatment.

Together, these findings highlight the stakes of schools scaling back support. Trans rights advocates, including those from the non-profit rights watchdog Human Rights Watch, warn that compliance with anti-trans policies fosters a climate of fear and suppression.

Campuses that had previously championed gender-inclusive residential life are now reassessing their commitments. For transgender and nonbinary students, this isn’t just about paperwork—it’s about the place they call home. When students are forced into environments that misgender them or mark them as outsiders, their safety net is stripped away, destabilizing what should be the most secure foundation of their college experience.

Redrawing the lines of inclusion

In July 2025, the University of Pennsylvania made an agreement with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights, agreeing to bar transgender women from women’s athletics programs. The agreement, made in part to ensure continued federal funding after the White House suspended $175 million to the Ivy League in March 2025, also required the university to review and amend its women’s swimming records. The university ultimately revoked the records of Lia Thomas, a trans woman and former NCAA champion who swam for UPenn from 2017 to 2022.

As part of its compliance, Penn stated it would now adhere to Title IX “as interpreted by the Department of Education” to define “biological sex” as either male or female, as assigned at birth.

When Rewire News Group reached Penn for comment, a university spokesperson referred to two public statements regarding Title IX compliance, writing: “This is information that may be useful to you.”

Many in Penn’s community have reacted with sharp criticism. Mara Davis, president of the campus queer graduate student group LTBGS, said she was “disgusted by the leadership at Penn blindly following executive orders whilst ignoring our insignia, ‘laws without morals are useless.’” She called the decision “deplorable” and one which “sets a horrible precedent.”

“We are walking a dangerous path,” Davis said.

Davis also argued the university’s capitulation reflects a broader trend of “institutions leaving their morals by the wayside to pursue continued financial safety,” adding that “faculty and students alike are outraged.”

Housing safety at risk

While UPenn appears to be responding to direct federal pressure, other universities across the country are voluntarily adopting similar policies—redrawing the lines of inclusion on campus and fueling growing concern among LGBTQ+ students and advocacy groups.

In February, the University of Kansas (KU) announced that Grace Pearson Hall—once an inclusive co-ed hall with community-style restroom accessibility—will no longer offer gender-inclusive housing starting in fall 2025. The hall will instead assign rooms and designate bathrooms based on each student’s gender marker in the KU housing portal. Student leaders say the change erases vital support for residents who have not come out or updated their gender marker, as well as for gender-nonconforming students who may feel forced into housing that doesn’t reflect their identity.

“The removal of inclusive facilities in a hall like Grace Pearson is extremely damaging to a student’s sense of belonging,” hall president Meghan Arias told RNG in an interview, noting that about half the dorm’s residents identify as transgender or nonbinary. “It’s interpreted as a sign that our university wishes to make queer residents disappear until the political climate changes.”

Arias emphasized the change was not required by law.

“No order from the federal or state government forced them to remove our inclusive facilities,” Arias said. “Instead, they were preemptively taken away in an effort to avoid scrutiny which may never come.”

KU student Emily Harter stressed the need for belonging on campus.

“I think it is important to make all identities feel welcome at our university,” Harter said. “Our school should be a safe space where all feel welcome and can find resources and community that they may not otherwise have outside of KU.”

In the wake of these policy shifts, students have organized protests and community events.

At the University of North Carolina, Asheville, a policy first issued in 2013 was updated in June 2025 to require students to submit legal gender documentation, such as a driver’s license or birth certificate, to access gendered housing. In practice, this makes it harder for trans and nonbinary students who haven’t legally updated their documents to access the housing that aligns with their identity.

In a statement to RNG, university spokesperson Brian Hart stated the change was prompted by “federal guidance, UNC System policy as well as internal procedural alignment to ensure we maintain clean and accurate data.”

Hart said that a review identified “a gap between evidentiary thresholds for determining a student’s sex in Housing and Residence Life and the University’s system of record,” prompting the school to align its housing procedures with the registrar’s standards.

Hart added that impacted students were offered multiple options, from free reassignment to off-campus housing referrals, adding the process aimed to “prevent housing instability and ensure student success.”

In February, Utah passed a law barring transgender students from living in dorms aligned with their gender identity. Under the policy, students must choose between single rooms in co-ed halls or housing based on sex assigned at birth. Utah State University confirmed to Inside Higher Ed it is assigning rooms “consistent with the new law.”

While acknowledging the legal mandate, USU Associate Vice President for Strategic Communications Amanda DeRito told RNG in an emailed statement the university “follows all applicable laws in the management of on-campus student housing while striving to create a welcoming environment where all students feel comfortable so they can focus on academics.”

The impact extends beyond policy. In February 2025, the Salt Lake Tribune reported that transgender USU student Marcie Robertson told lawmakers her life had become “excruciating” after she was placed as a resident adviser in a women’s dorm, a conflict that led to online harassment and death threats. She said the new law felt tailored against her personally, illustrating how restrictive housing policies expose trans students to heightened scrutiny and hostility.

At the same hearing, Robertson’s mother described how her daughter’s excitement about the role quickly turned to fear and sadness, adding, “Being afraid of someone different from yourself is no reason to bully them.”

Resource centers under pressure

Campus changes aren’t confined to housing. Since 2023, at least 20 of LGBTQ+ resource centers and related programs have been closed or absorbed into broader ‘student support’ offices, particularly in states with anti-DEI laws. Students and advocates say the loss of these spaces compounds the harm of housing restrictions by further reducing access to affirming resources.

At the University of Alabama, officials shuttered the LGBTQ+ Resource Center altogether. For alum Caitlin Foley, a family law attorney who volunteers with LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, the loss is deeply personal: “It was a place where many of my friends could breathe, exist, and be respected,” she said. “Taking that away sends the message that they don’t belong.”

A similar rollback is unfolding at Georgia Tech, where the LGBTQ+ Resource Center will not reopen for the 2025–26 school year and has instead been absorbed into the “Belonging & Student Support Department,” a unit designed to “promote belonging and intercultural competencies” among all students.

Georgia Tech Pride Alliance President Kaspian Lucille Hayes told RNG losing the center could be detrimental to students’ sense of safety on campus.

“Having a consistent physical space with people that are in your corner is a big comfort to people,” Hayes said, noting that the impact is especially sharp for those new to the region. “Some students come here from out of state and are scared about what it’s like to be queer in the South. Knowing someone is always accessible makes a huge difference.”

Models of inclusion show what’s possible

Not all universities are rolling back their gender-inclusive housing policies.

Winona State University in Minnesota is keeping its gender-inclusive housing options available, alongside campus-wide training to support LGBTQ+ and trans students. The university also maintains an Office of Inclusivity and Excellence.

“At Winona State University, we want all students from all backgrounds to feel welcomed and comfortable in their home away from home,” said a university spokesperson. “Students who feel welcomed are more likely to be successful at college and progress towards their academic goals.”

At Portland State University, in Oregon, incoming students can select from a range of gender-inclusive living communities and have access to all-gender restrooms in most buildings. And on the other side of the country, the University of Vermont appears to have maintained its gender-neutral housing, and also provides an online guide for trans and nonbinary students navigating campus life, from name changes on records to accessing health care.

Advocates say these models show what’s possible even amid shifting political headwinds.

“It’s not just about avoiding harm—it’s about creating spaces where trans and nonbinary students can thrive,” Foley said. “When universities invest in training, resources, and affirming housing, they’re sending a clear message: You belong here.”

The post Colleges End Trans-Friendly Housing Policies Amid Federal Anti-DEI Push appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The federal government’s reported plans to link pregnant people’s use of acetaminophen—the pain-relief drug sold under the brand name Tylenol—as a cause of autism could worsen their health and stigmatize one of the few treatments pregnant people have for reducing pain and fever, doctors warn.

“Not only is it false to say Tylenol causes autism, it’s really dangerous,” said Dr. Bhaskari Burra, an OB-GYN in Asheville, North Carolina. “If people are hesitant to take Tylenol in pregnancy, it’s really concerning.”

The claim, reported in the Wall Street Journal, is expected to be included in a Health and Human Services report that has not yet been released publicly. It is the latest in a series of efforts by the department, headed by the anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr., to discourage pregnant people from taking medications that scientific evidence and medical experts say improves health.

Researchers have been studying acetaminophen—the most common over-the-counter pain and fever medication for pregnant people—and its potential impact on fetal development for years. Though some work in the past has suggested a possible link between acetaminophen and neurodevelopmental disorders, more scholarship has refuted those connections. Last year, a study in the medical journal JAMA found there was no link between taking acetaminophen in pregnancy and childhood autism or intellectual disability.

“The link between Tylenol in pregnancy and autism has not been shown. It is not borne out in the data,” Burra said. “We don’t have any data to show that Tylenol causes autism.”

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has long recommended that pregnant people can use acetaminophen safely in consultation with their doctor. The organization swiftly criticized any possible report that might link taking acetaminophen in pregnancy with autism.

Since drugs are not often tested on pregnant people, acetaminophen is one of the few drugs pregnant people can safely use to relieve pain or fever—conditions that, if left untreated, can increase the risk of birth defects and premature delivery. Ibuprofen, another common pain reliever, has been associated with fetal heart problems and low amniotic fluid, which can also put pregnancies at risk.

“There’s benefits to controlling fever. There’s benefits to controlling pain,” said Dr. Zoe Taylor, a Washington-based family medicine physician who practices primary care, including a focus on addiction and pregnancy. “Not to mention all the other medications that I’m worried RFK Jr. is going to vilify as well, that have really significant benefits to patients and future children.”

Dr. Mariana Montes, a Chicago-based obstetric anesthesiologist, said she worries that if pregnant people believe they cannot use acetaminophen, they will turn to riskier options for pain management: ibuprofen, which can harm a pregnancy, or opiates. Untreated pain also can put a pregnancy at risk.

“What they really want is they think if the mother suffers, the pregnancy will be the most healthy, and that is not true,” Montes said.

Earlier this summer, an advisory panel to the Food and Drug Administration suggested pregnant people should avoid a class of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors—drugs including Prozac, Lexapro, and Zoloft—claiming that taking them while pregnant could cause pregnancy loss, birth defects, or autism. There is also no evidence linking antidepressant use to such health outcomes.

Taylor said she meets with pregnant patients who are already very concerned about the health of their fetuses over their own wellbeing. She said medical professionals use the best science to advise patients about the risks and benefits of any medications they may be on at the start of their pregnancy or during, including SSRIs.

“We do a lot to try to help patients understand that in many circumstances, staying on those medications is better for them and their baby. So I hate the idea that some of that work could be undone by misinformation,” she said. “There’s already plenty of misinformation about that on TikTok that we are dealing with, combating in visits every day—if it comes from the federal government, that’s even harder to explain.”

In fact, both medications can actually keep pregnancies healthy. Patients who abruptly halt an antidepressant regimen can be at risk of serious self-harm; their babies too can be at greater risk of preterm birth, and of developing depression later in life.

Taylor said while it is important for the federal government and researchers to investigate the causes of autism, she is skeptical about the evidence that will be cited in this upcoming report. A recent systematic review of acetaminophen and autism only summarized prior studies and was not quantitative.

“I’m worried about what this says about the process that is happening. It’s not science and it is not expert review and guidelines anymore. It’s like, vibes,” she said. “That’s the thing that makes me worried—one article can come out that happens to get on one person’s desk and it makes a huge deal out of something. That’s not the way the process is supposed to work.”

The post RFK Linking Tylenol To Autism Could Harm Pregnant People’s Health, Doctors Warn appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry’s administration has failed to regulate or provide oversight of public money given to anti-abortion “crisis pregnancy centers” over the past year, as required by state law.

The Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services did not monitor how state dollars were spent at “crisis pregnancy centers,” create regulations for how they can use that money, or track whether the centers met the goals of their state contracts, according to a report the Louisiana Legislative Auditor’s Office released Sept. 8.

Those benchmarks were expected to be met under a 2024 state law to establish the Pregnancy and Baby Care Initiative, which replaced a similar state program called Alternatives to Abortion.

“DCFS could have paid pregnancy centers for services ineligible for funding under state law,” read the report Legislative Auditor Mike Waguespack submitted to lawmakers on Sept. 3.

For years, Louisiana has financially supported the controversial “crisis pregnancy centers” that were originally designed as competitors to abortion clinics. Supporters say the centers, frequently affiliated with religious groups, offer assistance to pregnant people and new parents that is needed more than ever since Louisiana’s abortion ban went into effect in 2022.

Critics said many of the centers misrepresent themselves as health-care clinics, even when their staff members have little medical education. Some centers have also pushed unfounded medical concepts and treatments onto clients.

For example, five of the “crisis pregnancy centers” receiving state funding in the last year offer “abortion pill reversal” services, according to the auditor’s report. Such treatments have not been proven effective or safe and are denounced by leading physician organizations.

In all, the state distributed $1.2 million to 12 “crisis pregnancy centers” from August 2024 to July 2025. Eleven of the 12 centers drew down the maximum funding the state offered of $100,800 during that period.

The Landry administration intends to give Louisiana anti-abortion centers more money this year. It has raised the annual cap for funding per center to $249,999 in the current budget cycle, in spite of the auditor’s concerns.

But most “crisis pregnancy centers” in Louisiana do not receive state funds. As of June, there were 38 anti-abortion centers operating in the state based on the audit report.

Lack of oversight

Louisiana lawmakers were specific about what services the state was willing to pay “crisis pregnancy centers” to provide.

The 2024 law that set up the Pregnancy and Baby Care Initiative says that only counseling, mentoring, classes, and material items such as cribs or diapers can be covered with state money. The funding can also pay for referrals to state agencies that can provide help with signing up for public benefits, child care, or health programs.

The auditor was unable to discern whether the state’s $1.2 million went toward covering these services or other items because state officials did not require the “crisis pregnancy centers” to provide documentation about where the money was spent. State contracts with the “crisis pregnancy centers” also didn’t limit how the money could be used to services laid out in the state statute.

Additionally, the Department of Children and Family Services told the auditor it never paid less than the maximum amount allowed of $300 per client per month to a “crisis pregnancy center” over the first year of the program.

“DCFS did not require pregnancy centers to bill only for services eligible for state funding or provide any additional supporting documentation for services provided,” according to the audit report.

The centers provide a number of services to clients that are not supposed to be covered by the state including ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, screenings for sexually transmitted infection, and medication prescriptions.

The agency also didn’t enforce state contract provisions that required the centers to meet certain service goals. It initially declined to impose more than $7,500 in fines on centers for missing those benchmarks, according to the auditor’s report.

In response to the audit, Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services Secretary Rebecca Harris said she will implement more stringent reporting requirements for the centers and work to create state regulations by the end of the year. She will also make the centers pay the $7,500 in penalties they would have otherwise owed.

“DCFS will not authorize payment for any services outside the scope of those permitted under state law,” Harris wrote in a letter to the auditor last month.

Michelle Erenberg, executive director of abortion rights group Lift Louisiana, wasn’t surprised the state hasn’t monitored its spending with the anti-abortion centers closely. She opposed the law, in part, because the reporting requirements weren’t stringent.

“Several of these recommendations regarding oversight and transparency and more rigorous reporting are things that we have been suggesting that the legislature do for years,” Erenberg said in a Sept. 8 interview.

Umbrella nonprofit hasn’t been picked

Supporters of the “crisis pregnancy centers” believe Louisiana’s oversight of the program will improve once the Landry administration picks a nonprofit organization to oversee it.

The 2024 law requires the Department of Children and Family Services to contract with a single nonprofit group to distribute the state funding to “crisis pregnancy centers” through subcontracts. The nonprofit is also supposed to set up a website and help promote the centers, according to state law.

“We believe this program is done most effectively when a general contractor is named,” Ben Clapper, executive director of Louisiana Right to Life, the state’s largest anti-abortion group, said in an interview Monday. “We just urge the department to name a contractor for the best success.”

The agency has not finished developing the contract bid requirements for the nonprofit and, according to the report, will not have an organization hired for the job until July 2026, two years after the law was approved. The Department of Children and Family Services is struggling with the contract guidelines, according to the auditor, because of restrictions lawmakers put into the law.

The statute does not allow the department to demand anything of the nonprofit except for the creation of a website and a commitment to do some marketing. Other obligations are explicitly forbidden, according to the law.

In its report, the auditor questioned whether the nonprofit entity is even necessary or the best use of state funding. For years, the Department of Children and Family Services has contracted directly with “crisis pregnancy centers,” and the auditor suggested it might be a waste of money to hire a middleman.

“This could potentially decrease the funding available to pregnancy centers for services rendered because the general contractor will collect an administrative fee to pass funding from DCFS to the pregnancy centers,” according to the report.

Other states with similar funding programs for “crisis pregnancy centers” have also had problems when they have used nonprofit contractors to distribute the money.

Texas overhauled its “crisis pregnancy center” funding program—which distributes more than $100 million—this year after some anti-abortion centers appeared to be spending the state money on activities other than direct services for pregnant people. Critics also alleged the state was overpaying the centers for services such as distributing pamphlets to clients.

In Oklahoma, an auditor also found only $106,000 of $392,000 spent with its umbrella nonprofit went to “crisis pregnancy centers.” The nonprofit said it was going to provide services to 9,300 women in Oklahoma over a year but only served 524, according to information contained in the Louisiana audit report.

The man who set up those umbrella nonprofit organizations in Texas and Oklahoma, John McNamara, had been interested in working in Louisiana as well.

In 2024, McNamara testified before a Louisiana Senate committee in favor of the law that established the new structure for funding “crisis pregnancy centers.”

He also reserved the name Louisiana Pregnancy Care Network with the Louisiana Secretary of State for a few months last year, though he didn’t end up using it. The title is similar to the nonprofits he set up elsewhere, such as the Texas Pregnancy Care Network and the Oklahoma Pregnancy Care Network.

\n\n

This article was originally published by the Louisiana Illuminator, part of States Newsroom. Louisiana Illuminator maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Greg LaRose for questions: info@lailluminator.com.

The post Louisiana Has Not Monitored Public Funds Given to Anti-Abortion Pregnancy Centers appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Louisiana, Has, Not, Monitored, Public, Funds, Given, Anti-Abortion, Pregnancy, Centers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "64", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Unmonitored-Pregnancy-Centers-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/09/12/louisiana-anti-bortion-pregnancy-centers/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-15 09:01:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81884", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Who Gets a Third-Trimester Abortion and Why? Doctor’s New Book Unpacks Politicized Procedure", "title_slug": "who-gets-a-third-trimester-abortion-and-why-doctors-new-book-unpacks-politicized-procedure", "title_hash": "8a78a694921af99162e6a20ff22fa804", "summary": "Abortions after 28 weeks are exceedingly rare. Patients need the treatment for a variety of reasons, writes Dr. Shelley Sella--and every one of them 'deserves care.'\nThe post Who Gets a Third-Trimester Abortion and Why? Doctor’s New Book Unpacks Politicized Procedure appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Third-trimester abortions are a frequent target of anti-abortion activists. Yet abortions that occur at 28 weeks and beyond are rare: They make up fewer than 1 percent of all abortions in the United States. They’re also difficult to obtain: Though legal in 11 states and Washington, D.C., only 19 clinics in the country provide abortion care for pregnancies as advanced as 24 weeks—late in the second trimester—and beyond.

Now, one of the relatively few U.S. doctors who’s performed these abortions has released a new book shedding light on the highly-politicized procedure. In Beyond Limits, long-time OB-GYN Dr. Shelley Sella documents the experiences of six former patients, all of whom received abortion care during their third trimester at her New Mexico clinic.

Sella’s mentor was Dr. George Tiller, the OB-GYN murdered in 2009 by an anti-abortion fundamentalist at church. Her book, which draws from journals she kept from 2002 to 2021 while caring for patients, also shows what it’s like to provide abortions while enduring harassment, threats, and violence from protesters.

Virtually anyone—married or single, teenaged or middle-aged—can find themselves needing an abortion later in pregnancy can find themselves needing an abortion later in pregnancy, Sella found in her nearly two decades of practice. Some of her patients wanted their pregnancies but learned their fetuses had developed a fatal anomaly—or “fetal indication,” in medical terminology.

Other patients, trapped in abusive relationships, feared that bringing another baby into the world could risk both their lives and the lives of their existing children. Sella calls this circumstance a “maternal indication” for a later abortion.

Sella, who trained with home-birth midwives—an approach to birth that she incorporated into her abortion practice–retired in 2021. In an interview with Rewire News Group, she discussed the core findings of her book, and explained why their lessons matter now more than ever.

The following conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

In your book, you group people seeking third-trimester abortions into two categories: those seeking abortions for maternal indications and those seeking abortions for fetal indications. Can you talk a little more about that?

That’s something that Dr. Tiller started. In a way, it makes sense, because with fetal indications, there’s a condition where either the baby won’t survive or, if it will, will survive with major disabilities. Maternal indications are for [when the pregnancy is untenable due to] difficult social situations.

But I wonder if I started practicing now with what I know, if I would make that kind of distinction. Both groups come to the conclusion that they can’t handle the pregnancy for whatever reason. Because even if it’s a highly desired pregnancy, you get information about your baby’s condition that maybe is worsening over time, and you realize, “Well, maybe I could have handled it when it was just one condition, but then I learned that there’s another, and another. And I don’t feel that I can handle this with my family.” Or, “I don’t want this for the child.”

That’s thinking that a maternal indication patient would have too: “Maybe if my rent hadn’t just gone up, and maybe if food stamps hadn’t just been cut off, and maybe if my partner wasn’t now in prison, I would have been able to handle it.”

What was your goal for the book?

We think so rigidly about gestational limits [on abortion care], that we need to have them. Even politically, the line is, “Because otherwise these ballot measures won’t pass.” That’s the standard way of thinking, even if we’re pro-choice. “Can we all agree—15 weeks? Six weeks? Conception?”

I really reject that.

The situations that people are in don’t follow a clock. The reality is, things come up. Things change. Things get worse. So why do we think, “This is the dividing line, and before that, maybe it’s okay, and after that, absolutely not?”

Because you set up this limit, that means anyone who’s passed it is a criminal if they seek an abortion, or if something untoward happens in the pregnancy. We see that all the time with the criminalization of pregnant women [for using] drugs and alcohol.

It all ties up with notions of fetal “personhood.” Now it’s a person, now it has rights, and now it has more rights than you.

When people hear more and are educated, they look at [gestational limits] in different ways. The book, and the conversations I’m having are opening people up to, “Wait—we don’t need to have these rigid lines.”

That’s one thing that you do in this book that’s so powerful—you break down the narrative of who deserves not only our empathy, but who deserves good care.

If we are to hear about a third trimester patient, invariably, we hear about the fetal indication. If we see pictures, she’s often blonde—the straight, white woman with the desperately-wanted pregnancy, and then there was this diagnosis. Absolutely, she deserves care.

But then there are other patients who are equally deserving … I was also very deliberate about including a teenager. Teenagers are the most stigmatized, I think, of all. I really wanted people to understand why a teenager would have a third-trimester abortion, what their situation was. I hope that people come away with the book realizing, “Wait, these situations are also important, and they’re also deserving of an abortion.”

The goal really is to help shift the narrative.

Please explain the differences between a first, second, and third-trimester abortion?

A first-trimester abortion could be medication abortion. So, taking a pill to induce a miscarriage or, in a clinic, a vacuum aspiration.

In the second trimester, the pregnancy is bigger. The cervix needs to be prepared so that it can open. You’re using instruments to take the pregnancy out, and it’s usually not intact.

But third-trimester-abortion is an induction of labor, and delivery of a stillborn. So that’s really more midwifery, obstetrics.

(Editor’s note: In a typical third-trimester abortion, Sella writes in her book, the fetus’ heart is stopped with digoxin, a medication delivered by injection that slows the heartbeat until it stops. After, the patient’s cervix is dilated—a process that can take days, particularly for patients who’ve never before given birth. Then, they are given misoprostol, which further softens and contracts the cervix to induce labor of a stillborn. Afterward, Sella does a dilation and curettage. Patients can elect to see their baby, hold it, and take photos.

The length and cost of a third-trimester abortion, along with the fact that pregnant people often have to travel for care, means that patients face several obstacles: They must take time off work; pay for transportation, hotels, and food; and arrange for child care at home.)

What should we be thinking about, going forward, regarding abortion laws and restrictions?

It’s almost like, what should we be dreaming about?

When it comes to abortion: safe, legal and accessible for all. Period.

The post Who Gets a Third-Trimester Abortion and Why? Doctor’s New Book Unpacks Politicized Procedure appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"following$ Guys often give up on girls they’re texting with far too easily. If you want to get the date & girl, you must be more dogged – and COOLER – than this.

I just spoke with a client who’s making a lot of approaches but struggling to overcome a flat delivery that’s a little too far into “nice guy” territory.

\n\n\n

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This month I talk to Levo, an old school Mystery Method pickup artist transplanted from 2005 into 2025. After years of marriage and entrepreneurship in big city Brazil, Levo’s returned unattached to smalltown USA and reentered the game.

No longer a youthful nightclub pickup artist, he details how he’s getting girls now, how the game has changed, and what it was like returning to the US cultural and dating scene after so much time away.

\n\n\n

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The most powerful part often lies in what goes unspoken.…", "content": "Intimacy is not only about touch or words. The most powerful part often lies in what goes unspoken.…", "keywords": "Things, People, Say, Silently, While, Having, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/silently-e1757452149966.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/things-people-say-silently-while-having-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81278", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Am I Good in Bed? 9 Signs You’re a Great Lay", "title_slug": "am-i-good-in-bed-9-signs-youre-a-great-lay", "title_hash": "616a4cf7fef4004cb763f62c004dce02", "summary": "Let’s be real, at some point, almost everyone has asked themselves this question: “Am I actually good in…", "content": "Let’s be real, at some point, almost everyone has asked themselves this question: “Am I actually good in…", "keywords": ", Good, Bed, Signs, You’re, Great, Lay", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/good-in-bed-e1757611028276.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/am-i-good-in-bed-9-signs-youre-a-great-lay/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81279", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Men Run After Women Who Know These 7 Charisma Techniques", "title_slug": "why-men-run-after-women-who-know-these-7-charisma-techniques", "title_hash": "38a5f02e4d1221e7d38e6fe6ad38a72c", "summary": "Not every woman who turns heads does it because of looks. Some women walk into a room, and…", "content": "Not every woman who turns heads does it because of looks. Some women walk into a room, and…", "keywords": "Why, Men, Run, After, Women, Who, Know, These, Charisma, Techniques", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Charisma-e1757610779734.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/why-men-run-after-women-who-know-these-7-charisma-techniques/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81277", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Fruits You Should Be Eating for Healthier and Happier Intimacy", "title_slug": "the-best-fruits-you-should-be-eating-for-healthier-and-happier-intimacy", "title_hash": "77cb5a75b1f779799990a5d097712eea", "summary": "When it comes to intimacy, most people focus on emotions, connection, and attraction. But what you eat also…", "content": "When it comes to intimacy, most people focus on emotions, connection, and attraction. But what you eat also…", "keywords": "The, Best, Fruits, You, Should, Eating, for, Healthier, and, Happier, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-11-at-9.19.24-PM-e1757612614954.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-best-fruits-you-should-be-eating-for-healthier-and-happier-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81274", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Signs She's Not Interested in You", "title_slug": "signs-shes-not-interested-in-you-81274", "title_hash": "70f59714a035631771a1d205d56bfa74", "summary": "If she says she's not ready for a relationship or mentions other guys, chances are she's just not that into you.", "content": "It's never easy to hear, but sometimes facts are facts: the person you like doesn't like you back — or at least not in the way you might want. \r\nRomantic feelings, whether they’re a crush you developed last week or unrequited love you’ve been holding onto for years, are powerful. They’re some of the most powerful feelings we can experience — how else to explain all the art about love over the course of human history? \r\nThese feelings can move us to great heights of joy and rapture, but they can also bring us lower than we’ve ever felt when they’re rejected (or we simply perceive them as being rejected.) \r\nRELATED: How to Tell If a Girl Likes You\r\nIn fact, that last part is a big part of the problem. Because people are often loathe to reject someone outright, and women are often socialized to soften the blows of things they tell men, there’s a good chance that, if you’re a guy who primarily dates women, much of the rejection you’ve faced in your life hasn’t been an explicit “No” so much as vague signals of disinterest or texts going unreplied to. \r\nOf course, that can feel frustrating — Are you imagining it? Maybe she’s just a really busy person! — when you’re pining for someone and hoping for clarity. Any tiny sign of interest or kindness can be magnified out of proportion into a rock-solid confirmation of that she's attracted to you, when maybe it’s just sheer politeness. \r\nBut if you find yourself having an exhausting back and forth about whether your crush really does return your feelings, there’s a decent chance that they don’t. After all, when people want something, they tend to pursue it, don’t they? \r\nAnd yet there’s not necessarily a way to be 100% sure. So, if you have even the vaguest sense that the object of your affection is not reciprocating your same feelings, here are ten signs she's not into you — from flaking on plans to direct rejection in words — that will confirm it for sure:\r\nShe Constantly Flakes on Plans\r\nNot every cancellation of plans means that your crush isn't into you. Everyone occasionally needs to bail on arrangements because of illness or an absent-minded double booking, and if your crush has asked to rain-check only once or twice, this probably doesn't spell doom for the relationship. However, if she is constantly flaking on you, especially last minute, this is a pretty strong sign that she's not into you anymore.\r\n\"My go-to move when I've agreed to a date I'm not really into is to say that I've come down with something last minute,\" Fiona, 27, told AskMen. \"It's easier than saying I've changed my mind because you can't really argue with someone being sick. Basically, I'd use the same excuse to get out of a date I didn't really want to show up to as I would to avoid going to work on a hungover Monday.\"\r\nIf you really think she might still like you and is genuinely sick or busy, then leave the planning of the next date up to her. If she never suggests another outing with you, that's a clear sign that she's not into you, and it's time to move on.\r\nShe Keeps Reinforcing That You're Just Friends\r\nAnother way a woman might signal that she's not interested in dating you is by reinforcing that the relationship is strictly platonic. If she's constantly stressing that it's so nice \"having you as a friend\" or explicitly introducing you as \"my friend, [your name],\" then she's trying to tell you something – namely, that you are not her boyfriend and never will be.\r\nAlthough this can sting, be careful about how you respond to it. It's important that you don't throw a tantrum about being put in the \"friend zone\": Friendship is, after all, a precious gift, and you should be grateful that she's offering you that much. Insisting that she owes you anything more than friendship is pure entitlement, and may land you with no relationship with her at all.\r\nIf you don't think you can handle just being friends with your crush, then you should make a clean break instead of lingering in the background, hoping she'll change her mind. This will only lead to resentment when she eventually moves on to another relationship, so either graciously accept the friendship, or move on entirely.\r\nShe Avoids Physical Contact\r\nWhen two people are into each other, constant touching is second nature: Resting hands on each other's legs, grazing backs of arms or even playfully hitting each other. If your crush isn't doing any of these things, and if her body language is stiff and unapproachable, then she's probably showing you subliminally that she's not interested in you.\r\n\"I had been on what I thought was a really great date,\" explained Val, 30. \"We were in the car at the end, and I told her I'd been wanting to kiss her all night and kind of leaned in, expecting that the time was right and it was the perfect end to the date. She backed off and told me, flustered, that she just wanted to go home. I couldn't believe how badly I'd read the situation, but that confirmed it for sure.\"\r\nThis is definitely an area where you don't want to force things – unwanted physical contact is creepy, invasive and potentially criminal – so leave the ball in her court on this one. If she wants to initiate physical contact she can, but if you've been seeing each other a while and she's not just nervous or awkward, its absence is probably a sign that she's not into you.\r\nHer Replies to Your Texts Are Blunt and Terse\r\nWhen someone likes you, it shows up in how they communicate. Unfortunately, the same is true when they don't like you. If you've received your 11th \"k\" or \"yup\" text in a row from her, chances are she's not reciprocating your feelings. If she was, the opposite would be true: she'd be constantly updating you on mundane details about her day or idle gossip that barely involves you.\r\n“If a woman replies to your text instantly, it is a potential sign of disinterest,” says Maria Sullivan, Dating.com’s VP and dating expert. “Of course this can vary, but I’ve found that women tend to think through their responses in detail and brainstorm options in order to achieve the reaction they’re hoping for. If she’s replying right away or double texting, it’s possible she sees you just as a friend.”\r\nWhen you're crushing on someone, you tend to text them incessantly, so if there are tumbleweeds in your messages folder or she's replying with quick, bare-minimum responses, it's not a good sign.\r\n\"I'd say the #1 way I know a girl is losing interest is her falling out of normal communication patterns: being more terse with texts and calls, being slow or overly quick to respond, or just obviously breaking your established communication flow,\" Moses, 42, said. \"Also, being un-inquisitive about you and your life and just generally giving off a vibe of 'I'm not interested in learning about you anymore' is a giveaway.\"\r\nAgain, this is a good situation to leave things up to her. If the conversation dies off completely as a result, you know for sure you weren't her Prince Charming.\r\nShe Hasn't Introduced You to Anyone in Her World\r\nIf you and your crush have been \"dating\" (at least, in your eyes) for weeks or months, but she's weirdly evasive about letting you meet anyone in her world, she's probably not quite as committed to the relationship as you are. Introducing a partner to your friends and family is one of the most solid signs of commitment, and if she's being evasive in this area, it probably means she doesn't see you as part of her future.\r\n\"I've only ever introduced two boyfriends to my parents, so for me, it's a huge step,\" said Lily, 29. \"As soon as I knew I was serious about someone, though, it's something that would need to happen.\"\r\nA reluctance to introduce you to friends and family is probably not a fatal sign very early in a relationship, but if you've been going steady for a while and it's not even on the cards – or if she's reluctant to meet your friends and family — it's not a good sign. If your worlds aren't meshing at all, and she's the one preventing it, then it's probably time to look for a more committed partner elsewhere.\r\nShe Avoids You for Days and Responds to You Intermittently\r\nIf the communication between you is always patchy and intermittent, it could be because she's trying to fade you out, but wants to avoid looking heartless by ghosting you completely. If she gives a lukewarm response to every third message of yours, but you otherwise don't hear from her at all, this could be what's happening.\r\nWhen asked about how she fades out guys she's not interested in, Anna, 27, said, \"I stop asking questions about them and their life, and just in general don't bother with trying to keep the conversation alive when I lose interest in somebody.\"\r\nThis is a difficult situation to deal with, because it's not as clear-cut as never hearing from her at all, and there's some plausible deniability she can appeal to here (\"What do you mean!? I do text you back!\"). Use your gut instincts and, again, leave things in her hands: stop texting her at all, and if she's interested, she can reestablish the flow of conversation. If she doesn't, you know the drill.\r\nShe Never Initiates Meetings Between You Two\r\nIf your crush is never the one to initiate plans between the two of you, this is a sign that she might not be as invested in the relationship as you are. Think about it: if she was really into you, you'd be one of her go-to people whenever she wanted to visit a gallery or check out a new movie, like she is for you.\r\nThis one often goes in tandem with another sign on this list: constantly flaking on plans. \"I think a big indicator for me is if we're trying to set up another date and they're busy, but they also don't suggest another time,\" David, 29, said. If she's flaking on you, failing to initiate plans, or the dreaded combo of both, it should be pretty clear that things aren't going well.\r\nSullivan agrees, noting that a woman may even try to redirect the conversation in a way that is more comfortable for her if she is trying to avoid making plans for a date that she knows she does not want to attend. This might include her attempting to keep things platonic by saying something like \"I'm happy as a single woman for right now.\" Or, she might agree to the \"date,\" but say that she needs to leave at a certain time in an attempt to avoid any end-of-the-night flirtatiousness or other romantic spontaneity.\r\nYou deserve better than a partner who is tepid and unenthusiastic about spending time with you, so cut things off if she's never initiating plans or avoiding them altogether. It will save her having an awkward conversation with you later about how she likes you, but just not like that.\r\nShe Gets Weird About or Won't Commit to Future Plans\r\nMuch like meeting friends and family, locking in future plans is a key sign of commitment. If she blanches and changes the subject when you suggest making New Year's Eve plans six months in advance, it could be a sign that she hasn't imagined staying with you that long.\r\n\"I remember the death knell for my relationship with my ex was when he asked if I'd come to his best friend's wedding in Thailand,\" explained Jess, 25. \"I tried to say it was about the money, but really I didn't want to embed myself into his life that early – we'd been dating under a year at that point, and I didn't see it going much further. After he offered to pay for my flight, I had to come clean about the real reason.\"\r\nBecause there are genuine reasons your partner might be reluctant to make long-term plans, such as money worries or concerns about not being able to take time off work, you're going to have to use your instinct with this one. By asking the right questions and taking stock of how often it happens, you should be able to get a pretty good read on whether an aversion to future plans signals a deeper disinterest. If you see a pattern forming, the relationship is probably dead in the water.\r\nShe Tells You, Directly and in Words, That She's Not Interested\r\nThis one is about as straightforward as it gets: if she's told you, in words, that she's not interested in you, then you don't need to keep analyzing her behavior or look for signs that maybe she didn't mean what she said.\r\nPlenty of women AskMen spoke to were happy to make themselves completely clear about not being interested in a guy. \"I tell him, 'There's no spark,'\" explained Mary, 35. \"I usually get, 'Fair enough', or no response at all to that; i.e. they can't argue with it.\" Kerri, 31, uses an even more unambiguous approach: \"Usually after a date, if it is not obvious to him that there is no connection, I block him on my cell phone after telling him, 'Thanks, but no thanks.'\"\r\nClear rejection like this is a horrible feeling, but there is a silver lining. You don't need to waste your time trying to mind-read now: she's let you know straightforwardly that she's not interested, so you can move on to someone whose feelings are reciprocal this time.\r\nShe Lets You Know Indirectly That She's Not Interested\r\nSometimes it's hard for women to be direct with men. Because women are socialized to always be sweet and compliant, saying a straightforward \"no\" can be difficult, and may even expose them to retaliatory violence.\r\n“If she’s socially graceful, it's easy to mistake charming politeness as confirmation the feeling is mutual when it's not,” says Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals.\r\nSo, if she's saying anything along the lines of \"I'm not really interested in seeing anyone right now\" or \"I'm pretty busy with work, which doesn't leave much time for dating,\" she's telling you, as kindly and indirectly as possible, that she's not interested in pursuing things with you.\r\nDon't push her on this or call her out for \"lying\" if she gets a boyfriend in three weeks or posts vacation pictures on Facebook: She was trying to let you down gently in a way that protected her own safety. Most people tell the odd white lie or two to spare other people's feelings, so take the hint and move on like a mature adult: You'll both be better off if you don't make a fuss or try to probe her on her true feelings.\r\n\r\nHow to Move On When She's Just Not Into You\r\n\r\nThere's nothing worse than really liking someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, and if one or more of the above signs are cropping up for you, you're probably feeling pretty dejected right now. However, if you’re still unsure about whether or not she has romantic feelings for you, Gaspard has one guaranteed way to clear things up.\r\n“Have the nerve to ask directly if she’d like to go on a date,” she says. “The courage you exercise will establish your character. It's a singles ‘best practice’ that separates the men from the boys.”\r\nJust be sure to honor her response, whatever it may be.\r\nRELATED: What to Avoid Doing in an Argument With Your Partner\r\n“As a therapist, I’m stunned by the number of singles who dismiss when their unrequited crush tells them directly about their lack of romantic interest,” says Gaspard. “Believe women when they say they’re not attracted to you romantically, even though this can sting like overpouring the piri piri sauce on your breakfast burrito.”\r\nIn the end, it's ultimately healthier to call off a relationship that's only limping along with one party's active involvement, so if you think that's what's happening in your situation, do the brave thing and move on. When you eventually meet someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are them – and you will! – you'll be glad you didn't keep wasting your time.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tEverything You Need to Know About Attraction\r\n\tCommon Dating Red Flags\r\n\tHow to Be Romantic", "keywords": "Signs, Shes, Not, Interested, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/132_dating_girl/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1750433051.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/132_dating_girl.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81275", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Ejaculation Etiquette: Where to Cum and What to Do After", "title_slug": "ejaculation-etiquette-where-to-cum-and-what-to-do-after", "title_hash": "38f93c38b3310598453f67a526116d73", "summary": "Avoid a sticky situation by following these etiquette guidelines.", "content": "The act of ejaculating is more or less guaranteed to be a messy one. While ejaculating and reaching climax aren’t as perfectly linked as many people suppose — as in, it’s possible to do one without the other — it’s fair to say that for most guys, they match up. That means you have to deal with a literal semen explosion pretty much every time you orgasm.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About ‘Injaculation’\r\nSure, that’s fine when you’re masturbating given that a) you’re probably alone, and b) you can clean it up using whatever method suits you, but when you’re having sex, it’s a bit of a different story.\r\nIf you’re using a condom, ideally, the ejaculate is going to stay inside it. However, if you aren’t, the ejaculate is probably going to, well, end up somewhere. Meaning, the question of ejaculation etiquette arises — where is it OK to ejaculate? How can you talk about this with your partner? And what should you do if things don’t go according to plan?\r\nThose might seem like trivial questions when you’re feeling horny, but given the possibility that your semen could give someone an STI or get someone pregnant, they’re actually pretty important.\r\nTo make sure everyone’s happy, healthy, and not accidentally with child, here are four rules of thumb — or rules of cum, if you will — to abide by.\r\n1. Don’t Ejaculate Inside Your Partner Without Warning\r\nIf your sexual partner has a uterus, you should absolutely, positively, under no circumstances ejaculate inside them during vaginal intercourse without their consent.\r\nRELATED: Here’s What You Need to Know About Sexual Consent\r\nUnprotected penis-in-vagina sex is responsible for most pregnancies, and this might not surprise you, but given the life-altering nature of giving birth and raising a child, that’s not the kind of discussion you want to sort out in the heat of the moment.\r\n“It may seem obvious to some, but never ever ejaculate inside your partner's vagina without a condom without communicating this ahead of time!” says sex expert Kenneth Play. “Besides being pretty rude, it also ignores STI prevention, pregnancy prevention, and your partner's consent — all immensely serious issues.”\r\nMackenzie Riel of TooTimid.com agrees, stating, “As with any other part of sex, both people should be on the same page about what is going on and what is going to happen with a sexual encounter. “Consent is imperative in order to continue with sex, no matter what.”\r\nEven if your partner can’t get pregnant or is highly unlikely to — like, say, you’re having sex with a man, a trans woman, someone who’s undergone a hysterectomy, or a woman with an IUD or who’s taking hormonal birth control — that doesn’t give you permission to ejaculate inside them without warning.\r\nRELATED: Here's What You Need to Know About 'Creampie'-ing Someone\r\nAs Play mentions, ejaculating in someone, whether vaginally, anally or orally, could increase their risk of contracting an STI — if you have one — and even if you don’t, puts them in a position where they could think they’ve potentially contracted something that doesn’t show symptoms immediately.\r\nLetting your partner know in advance is a basic sign of respect and politeness, adds Riel. “If there’s a possibility that she's not on birth control, or generally uncomfortable with having you finish in her, then it should not happen. When you're just hooking up with people, it can be especially dangerous, considering the risk of pregnancy.”\r\nEven if you don’t have any STIs and there’s no or a low risk of pregnancy, ejaculating without getting someone’s direct consent is a no-go.\r\n“The important thing to remember is that any sexual act needs to come with consent,” says sexologist and author Michelle Hope. “Oftentimes people assume that if consent is given at the onset of sex, [then] anything goes.”\r\n“However,” she notes, “those are ideas that can put people in danger of sexual misconduct. Consent must be fluid and ongoing throughout the process of intercourse. That is why it’s highly important to communicate with your partner prior to engaging in any sex act and throughout the duration of sexual contact.”\r\n2. Talk About Ejaculation Preferences Before Sex\r\nHow do you avoid the nightmare scenario of accidentally getting your partner pregnant or violating their consent? Simple. You talk about it in advance. Meaning, not five seconds before you cum, but ideally before you even get naked. That’s the case regardless of whether it’s a one-time thing or a long-term partnership.\r\n“Always communicate desires ahead of time as a default, because this shows that you care about your partner, their experiences, and their desires,” advises Play. “There are a lot of primal feelings around ejaculation and so being able to talk about these, your meanings and interpretations for different ejaculation habits, your individual desires, and any emotional reactions you may have, is both kind and important.”\r\nHope agrees that communication around ejaculation is vital.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner\r\n“The best way to go about this conversation is openly and honestly,” she says. “Communicating about one’s desires prior to participating in any sexual activity, setting boundaries and respecting those boundaries is important for a healthy and positive sexual experience.”\r\nAccording to Play, your approach to having this conversation doesn’t need to be complicated. “The ejaculator and the person receiving the cum should each state their preferences and communicate,” he says. “If you are the receiver and you have a strong preference you should let your partner know. If you are the ejaculator, it's just polite to check with your partner beforehand to see if they have any strong preferences, and to state your own.”\r\nNeed an example for context? Play suggests trying, “‘I think it would be really hot if I came on your tits. Would you like that or be interested in that?,’ and then really listen to and respect the answer. Politeness and etiquette is a good rule of thumb in general here.”\r\nHope suggests tying it back to something you’ve seen before and liked.\r\n“If you are a little bit apprehensive of how to do that you [could use] pornography to test the waters,” she says. “By that I mean, perhaps you say to your partner, ‘Hey babe, I saw this really hot porn the other day where the man ejaculated on the breasts of the woman he was having sex with — would you be into that?’ Using porn to open up a conversation about partners preferences is a great way to ease perhaps some apprehension around what might be an uncomfortable conversation for some.”\r\nOther ways to phrase it:\r\n\r\n\r\n\t“I’ve been fantasizing about cumming on/in your [X] — does that turn you on at all?”\r\n\t“Do you ever think about me cumming on/in your [X]? Would you like that?”\r\n\t“Hey — it doesn’t need to be this time, but at some point, I’d really love to cum on/in your [X]”\r\n\t“What’s the hottest place I could cum? I want to know where you want me to finish.”\r\n\r\n\r\nWithin the context of a conversation like that, ejaculating inside your partner — whether in their mouth, anus or vagina — is a potential option, so long as they’ve fully assessed the situation, and their feelings and desires without feeling pressured.\r\n“If you're interested in ejaculating inside your partner like this, communicate why you'd like to do this and also ask questions about birth control, STI status or comfort, and whether they're interested,” says Play.\r\nThat way, it becomes something you’re engaging in together, rather than something you’re doing to your partner without warning.\r\n3. Warn Your Partner Before You Ejaculate\r\nRemember that thing about consent being fluid and ongoing throughout the process of having sex from rule No. 1? Well, that means while a conversation beforehand is important and necessary, it’s also not enough.\r\nFact is, your partner is still allowed to change their mind at the last minute. They can decide they want you to cum on their stomach instead of their face, or on their back instead of inside them. If they say “no” to you ejaculating somewhere, you have to respect that, or you’re violating their consent.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Consent With a Partner\r\nThat’s one reason why announcing that you’re going to ejaculate when you can sense it coming is important, particularly with a brand new partner, someone you’ve only slept with a few times, or anyone who’s actually requested you to warn them beforehand. If they’re not yet sure what to expect with you, especially if you haven’t had a detailed conversation about ejaculating yet, they absolutely deserve some notice upon request.\r\n“It's good to check in about announcing ejaculation,” says Play. “Make sure to do it with enough time that you can hear your partner's response and change your actions if necessary. For example, during oral sex, if you feel like you're about to cum, state this with some headway, so that if your partner does not want you to cum in their mouth they can pull away and say so.”\r\nThat warning — and giving your partner enough time to tell you what they want — is an opportunity for them to consent to what’s happening, to alter the situation, or to communicate what they want.\r\n“You're getting the consent to continue the act you want to perform,” says Riel. “When you warn [your partner], they can better prepare themselves for where you're going to ejaculate. Anywhere on the face is especially important, as you don't want to blind them or get it up their nose. If you want to do so smoothly, you could always pull out and try to make them orgasm via sex toy or your fingers.”\r\n4. Talk About It Afterward\r\nSometimes, despite your best efforts (or … because of a lack of said efforts), people end up in a situation where there’s been an unfortunate ejaculation scenario. Maybe one partner came in a place their partner wasn’t expecting, or without warning, or too soon. At that point, the mature thing to do is to discuss what just happened, says Play.\r\nRELATED: Understanding Sexual Aftercare\r\n“If you do encounter an awkward situation of unwanted ejaculation, as the ejaculator, start by apologizing and then listening to the receiver's feelings; as the receiver, speak up about your feelings and state what you didn't like. If there's no malicious intent, just express where you're at and take responsibility where you can.”\r\nThat responsibility, say, if your partner is concerned about getting pregnant because of your ejaculation, could mean going out of your way to help get her a form of after-the-fact birth control like Plan B or “morning after” pill.\r\n“If the [person] you're having sex with is not an effective form of birth control, although it will set you back, offer to pay for a next day supplement like Plan B,” says Riel. “Although it may not solve the problem, it's a necessary precaution to take for your next line of defense against pregnancy.”\r\nAnd if you ejaculated before you wanted to? Well, the well-worn line, “I swear this never happens to me” probably won’t impress your partner very much. It’s worth noting that what’s actually disappointing isn’t necessarily the ejaculation so much as that it signifies the sex being over. If you’re worried about letting your partner down you could offer to keep things going by pleasuring them manually or orally.\r\n“For individuals who struggle with premature ejaculation, it’s important to remember that foreplay is your friend,” says Hope. “Foreplay provides you with an opportunity to work your partner up to as close to climax as possible prior to penetration. This can allow for both parties to enjoy the sex.”\r\nAt the end of the day, while ejaculating can make a mess, talking about it with your partner — before, during, and after sex — can make for a much less messy situation.\r\n\r\nThe Importance of Ejaculation Etiquette in Post-Roe America\r\n\r\nWhile ejaculation etiquette is always important, for American readers, it’s become much more so in the aftermath of the U.S. Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade on June 24, 2022 — particularly for those living in a state that has banned abortion since the ruling. \r\n“At a time when Americans’ abortion rights are disappearing, controlling your ejaculation isn’t just a matter of preference; it’s also related to your partner’s safety,” says activist and sex educator Nora Langknecht, a former abortion doula and current marketing manager for sex toy brand FUN FACTORY. \r\nThat’s because pregnancy is a fraught process that can seriously risk a pregnant person’s life, as well as leading to myriad lasting health complications. Even if all goes well, it’s not something to enter into lightly, and definitely not something you want to happen by accident. \r\nIt’s not fun, but risking your partner’s health, creating a person you’re not ready to raise, or trying to find a way to get an illegal abortion are even less fun alternatives. Pulling out, using one or more birth control methods, or practicing non-penetrative sex are all the more important now.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tSex Myths Guys Desperately Need to Unlearn\r\n\tHow to Increase Your Semen Volume\r\n\tYour Go-To Guide for Having Safe Sex", "keywords": "Ejaculation, Etiquette:, Where, Cum, and, What, After", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/444_ejaculation-etiquette/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757516825.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/444_ejaculation-etiquette.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81276", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Can Protein Timing Help You Pack On Muscle?", "title_slug": "can-protein-timing-help-you-pack-on-muscle", "title_hash": "3608d879418c459fa12f76c335f30b7e", "summary": "We Take a Closer Look at Some of the Myths & Broscience Behind the Vaunted \"Protein Window\"", "content": "You lift weights. You have a protein shake after your workout. You may even be intentional about your overall protein intake, whether you aim to eat high-protein meals or try to hit a certain target in grams. But should you consider optimizing the timing of your protein consumption to maximize gains? Here’s what the science — and experts — have to say.\r\nRELATED: Best-Tasting Protein Powders \r\n\r\nDoes Protein Timing Actually Matter for Muscle Growth?\r\n\r\nThe short answer is, yes, protein timing can have an impact on the size of your muscles. But how much you should focus on that is another story. As Helen Tieu, registered dietitian and founder of Diet Redefined, puts it, strategically timing when you eat protein can support muscle gain, but your total daily protein intake is still what matters the most. Cover your bases on that front, and then consider protein timing for additional benefits. \r\nBefore diving into those benefits and the strategies that can help you tap into them, here’s the link between protein and muscle gain: Each time you eat a high-quality protein source like fish, chicken or cottage cheese, your body triggers a process called muscle protein synthesis. This is how it builds and repairs the muscle fibers that you break down in the weight room.\r\nThat means that if you eat about five high-protein meals and snacks a day, you help keep the muscle protein synthesis process activated more consistently, supporting muscle repair and growth as you go about your daily routine. \r\n\r\nWhat to Know About Pre- and Post-Workout Protein\r\n\r\nSo, how does protein timing impact protein synthesis? Let’s take a look at the benefits of having protein before or after a workout. \r\n“There is some evidence that ingesting protein during exercise might slightly increase lower-body muscle strength and bench press strength,” according to Dr. Stacie Stephenson, DC, CNS, author of Vibrant: A Groundbreaking Program to Get Energized, Reverse Aging, and Glow and board member of The American Nutrition Association.\r\n“Another common opinion is that protein right before and/or after a strength-training workout optimizes muscle protein synthesis which, in my opinion, is probably the best strategy.” \r\nIf you’re wondering what makes the moment before or after you train optimal for consuming protein, it’s because of a concept called the anabolic window, which describes the optimal time to maximize post-workout recovery through nutrition. \r\nThe anabolic window was once believed to last 30 to 60 minutes after a workout, hence why so many people have a shake right as they leave the gym. But research shows it’s a much more flexible window than initially thought — about three to four hours in most cases. So, if you have a nutritious lunch, hit the gym a couple of hours later, then drive home and have an early dinner, you’re likely covered.\r\n\r\nProtein at Night vs. in the Morning\r\n\r\nSo, it’s worth being mindful of your protein intake around workouts, without obsessing about the exact timing. But what about consuming protein at night versus in the morning? Does that make a difference? \r\nResearch shows mixed results. One study showed that eating protein earlier in the day could lead to more muscle growth. But other research shows that consuming protein before sleep can help support overnight recovery while preserving lean muscle mass.\r\n“Research on timing of eating protein has mixed results, but many exercise physiologists and sports nutritionists as well as anti-aging doctors believe that you may be able to absorb protein even more efficiently if you eat it throughout the day, rather than all at once, which can help to blunt hunger between meals and provide your body with a steady stream of protein for maximum muscle development,” says Stephenson. \r\nAs for the idea that you can only absorb so much protein per meal? “It has been debunked,” adds Stephenson, so that’s one less thing to be concerned about.\r\n\r\nShould You Bother Timing Protein Intake?\r\n\r\nIf you care about muscle growth, doing strength training and eating enough protein throughout the day is your best bet. How much is enough? It varies based on the individual, but one meta-analysis revealed the benefits of eating between 1.2 grams and 1.6 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight daily. \r\nSure, you can encourage the muscle protein synthesis response by having protein before and after your workouts. It will give you a slight, science-backed edge. But because the anabolic window is actually quite flexible, aiming to eat protein every few hours covers your bases anyway. Tieu recommends spacing your high-protein meals every three to four hours for best results.\r\nAs with all fitness-related pursuits, consistency is key. Focus on fueling your body with high-quality protein on a regular basis to support muscle growth without worrying too much about the clock. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nWhen to Drink Protein ShakesCan Eating More Protein Help With Weight Loss?How to Get Ripped", "keywords": "Can, Protein, Timing, Help, You, Pack, Muscle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/can-protein-timing-help-you-pack-on-muscle/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757448204.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/can-protein-timing-help-you-pack-on-muscle.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:26:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81119", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Mother Accused Me Of Sleeping With Her Boyfriend", "title_slug": "my-mother-accused-me-of-sleeping-with-her-boyfriend", "title_hash": "57c37c01c046f89d813f946a9d7d9334", "summary": "I was raised by my grandmother who deeply loved me. I only found out she was not my biological mother when she passed away when I was around the age …", "content": "

I was raised by my grandmother who deeply loved me. I only found out she was not my biological mother when she passed away when I was around the age of 10 or 11. That was when my mother came for me.

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Living with my mother was a sharp contrast from living with my grandmother. I remember one time when a man walked past our street and greeted me. My mother accused me of knowing him simply because he wore a uniform, similar to one she had seen somewhere before. I insisted I didn’t know the man but she beat me up anyway.

Years later, we moved in with my mother’s boyfriend. He was a good father figure, no funny business. In the short time we lived together, he did far more for me than my biological father ever had. When my mother became pregnant, they eventually broke up, and we moved away. We didn’t stay in touch, even though we had each other’s numbers.

One day, I received a sexually graphic text message from him. It seemed like instructions he was sending to a younger man about intimacy. When the shock of the message wore off, I replied that he must have sent it to the wrong person. I can’t recall exactly what his response was. But I remember telling a friend in the house we were staying in. She too was shocked.

Unfortunately for me, I deleted the message before telling my mother about it. Instead of listening to me, she chose to interrogate me as if I had done something wrong. Then she concluded that I must have been sleeping with her ex-boyfriend. She didn’t believe anything I said in my defence.

Later, when I went to university, she refused to give me money for food for weeks. I was so hungry that I ended up selling an old phone for about $3 just to survive. Around that time, a politician somehow got my number (it’s common for freshers’ details to be sold to men at some universities). When he called me, he seemed to know a lot about me.

“I want to see you,” he said, “I am parked outside your residence as I speak.”

I was desperate and hungry, so I went with him and his friend to eat, and eventually to their hotel. Once I was in his room, I told him clearly I wasn’t going to sleep with him. He tried to persuade me, and when I refused, he threatened me, “If I force myself on you, no one will believe you. Don’t forget that you willingly entered my hotel room at night.”

I was scared but I stood my ground until he got tired and drove me back to my residence.

While we sat in his car outside, he kept begging me to return with him. At that very moment, I received an unusually large amount of money from my mother, enough to cover the last week of school and my trip home. It felt like a divine intervention. I got out of his car and went back to my room without giving in to him demands.

It’s been 16 years since then, but my mother still accuses me of being the reason her relationship ended. She has even threatened to tell my brother that I caused the breakup between her and his father.

A few years ago, when she brought it up again, I told her: “My conscience is clean. God and I know the truth, and I am at peace with that.”

For a while, she stopped mentioning it, but then brought it up again in a text three years ago.

One question I’ve always asked myself is that, if she truly suspected something had happened, why was her first reaction to fight me as if I were her rival. As a mother, she should have shown concern and asked if the man she brought into our lives had violated her teenage daughter.

And what if I had fallen prey to that politician in the hotel room, forced into trauma for life, all because my mother was so angry with me that she refused to support me with food money?

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I’ve since healed and learned a lot about my family. But sometimes I see how mothers hold their daughters close to their hearts and I wonder why that couldn’t be my reality.

When I talk about our strained relationship, people assume it’s my responsibility to mend things. All I want to say is that if you haven’t experienced trauma at the hands of your mother, the most helpful thing you can do for someone like me is acknowledge that your experience was different. Not all of us were lucky enough to experience true warmth and love from our mothers. It’s hard but we move.

—Suga

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Mother, Accused, Sleeping, With, Her, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "63", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8518.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/my-mother-accused-me-of-sleeping-with-her-boyfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:13:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81117", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Lost Everything When I Left Him", "title_slug": "he-lost-everything-when-i-left-him", "title_hash": "6a83448930955357f5f77beeec518671", "summary": "About 3–4 years ago, my mom opened a shop. I helped her with sales. That was when I met Kay. His father’s shop was close to ours. I saw him …", "content": "

About 3–4 years ago, my mom opened a shop. I helped her with sales. That was when I met Kay. His father’s shop was close to ours. I saw him all the time. Sometimes, I would do everything to steal glances at him. By the time I acknowledged I had a crush on him, I found out he had a girlfriend.

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Their love was enviable. They were always all over each other in public. I won’t lie, I was jealous. I wished I was the one he loved so passionately. I was still happy for him though. I told myself that I was happy someone made him happy.

For a whole year, I stood on the sidelines and watched them live in a world I could only fantasise about. I got relief when I left for school. I did my best to embrace my new life and the new people I had met. I tried to forget about him but I couldn’t fully put him out of my mind.

By the time I returned, I realised they were no longer talking. When I asked my mum about them, she told me that they broke up because they were not spiritually compatible. I didn’t understand what it meant but I was a little happy.

One day, while scrolling through my mom’s phone, I found Kay’s number. I texted him and told him how I felt. He admitted he also had feelings for me but he didn’t approach me because of his ex and my mum.

As we talked more about ourselves and our feelings, we started dating. At the time, he didn’t have a single kobo. He was a graduate, but unemployed, working in his dad’s shop. I didn’t mind. I loved him and that was what mattered to me.

Strangely, soon after we began dating, he landed a huge contract. With my advice and support, he got an apartment, and furnished it. When it was done, he took me there to show me what he had done with the place. That day I prayed for him and we celebrated his success.

Although our relationship was a secret, I was happy with him.

A week later, two companies he had applied to called him to start work. They offered him a seven-figure salary. I was overjoyed and proud of him.

Things seemed to be going well, until one day when he invited me over. As soon as I got there, something felt off. I noticed signs that other women had been around. There was even a lady’s kit in his bathroom.

When I confronted him, he lied and said it belonged to his sister. I refused to let him touch me that day. He got angry, treated me like trash, and sent me away like I was nothing. I left in tears.

Later, when I went back to school, he started threatening to show my mum the pictures of the private moments we shared if I didn’t take him back. I was shocked and scared at first, but then I stood my ground. I told him, “Do your worst. If you like, publish it online. I don’t care!”

After that, I blocked him and moved on.

During the holidays, he contacted me again with a strange number, begging for forgiveness. I blocked that too. Not long after, I saw him at my mom’s shop. He looked unkempt and broken. I almost felt pity for him.

He called me and told me everything he went through after I left. He said he was sacked for something he didn’t do, and was even imprisoned for six months.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

“I went to a certain church and the pastor told me I have to apologise to the person I offended for my life to move forward.”

Maybe he believes that person is me. I have forgiven him but I’ve made up my mind: I’m never taking him back. I’ve moved on. I wish him well too.

—Queen

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB

", "keywords": ", Lost, Everything, When, Left, Him", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8534.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/he-lost-everything-when-i-left-him/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:13:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81118", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Next Time I See My Cousin, Only One of Us Will Walk Away Free", "title_slug": "the-next-time-i-see-my-cousin-only-one-of-us-will-walk-away-free", "title_hash": "85351fd09cd1ad4d809bc9b54848bf6b", "summary": "I didn’t attend my aunt’s funeral. I couldn’t. Her son, my cousin Kwame, was the reason. When relatives called to ask why I wasn’t there, I didn’t sugarcoat it. I …", "content": "

I didn’t attend my aunt’s funeral. I couldn’t. Her son, my cousin Kwame, was the reason. When relatives called to ask why I wasn’t there, I didn’t sugarcoat it. I told them the truth: that I still remember what Kwame did to me. I remember how his mother did nothing to protect me, and I remember how my own mother labeled me the bad child.

One aunt was shocked that I still remembered. She told me not to speak of it again because “he’s blood,” my auntie’s son.

That was the moment I knew it was time to cut ties. My parents are gone, and I owe that side of the family nothing. They are toxic.

Kwame has moved on with his life. But I’m still here, struggling.

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I was just six years old, sick, tired, and fresh from a hospital visit. Life with my dad was tough, so my mom took me to her family home in the village to rest and recover.

When we arrived, I was already sleepy. She sent me into one of the rooms to sleep. One of my cousins was lying on the floor, so she tucked me into the bed. The door didn’t have a real lock, just a bent nail you could slide across. She left it slightly ajar so I could call for her if I needed anything.

In the middle of my sleep, I felt a shadow pressing down on me. I opened my eyes and saw my cousin lying on top of me. I didn’t understand what was happening, but there were forced movements. The door that had been left ajar was suddenly shut. By the time they managed to open it, he was caught trying to take advantage of me.

But instead of protecting me, I was the one who suffered.

My mother didn’t scold him or report him to the police. Instead, she inserted some kind of hot balm inside my vagina. I cried so much. After that day, I was tagged “Akwadaa bɔne,” a bad child, and my mom said it every chance she got.

We stayed in the village until things got better financially. Eventually, we moved to Accra to live with my dad, but every Christmas, my mom took me back to the village and back to Kwame.

He didn’t stop. He would lure me into rooms, have his way with me, and warn me not to tell anyone. This continued until I was about nine, when my parents separated and my dad kept me in Accra. That’s when the visits stopped, but the damage was already done.

Even then, I couldn’t tell my dad what had happened. I knew how strict he was. I was certain that if he found out, he would have done something outrageous to Kwame. My mom knew it too, and that’s why she never told him. It became a family secret, and now, I can’t tell him anything. He’s gone to his maker. So is my mother.

You see, ra]pe affects people in different ways. Some become withdrawn, afraid of intimacy. Others, like me, become addicted to it. I started craving intimacy. If you showed me a little attention, I would offer myself to you on a silver platter. I was drawn to older men too, maybe because my abuser was older. I began pleasuring myself, and that’s been my reality for the past 15 years. I pray constantly about it because this can’t be the life I was meant to live.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I haven’t seen Kwame since my parents separated, but I hear he is living his life. He has children now, all boys. I pray that one day he has a daughter and that she experiences what he did to me. If not her, then his sons. Or their children. I pray that the pain he caused finds its way back to him. I pray he suffers before he dies.

And if we ever cross paths again, one of us will not walk away free.
\n#MyChildhoodTrauma

–

#SB<>

", "keywords": "The, Next, Time, See, Cousin, Only, One, Will, Walk, Away, Free", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/2149219782.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/the-next-time-i-see-my-cousin-only-one-of-us-will-walk-away-free/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-12 10:13:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "81116", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Was Five Months Pregnant When My Husband’s Pregnant Side Chick Called", "title_slug": "i-was-five-months-pregnant-when-my-husbands-pregnant-side-chick-called", "title_hash": "d43aa6796d92006e82a7c76f5072c2a5", "summary": "We met in a village square where I had gone to meet the director of an NGO I was working with. He told me his name was Francis and that …", "content": "

We met in a village square where I had gone to meet the director of an NGO I was working with. He told me his name was Francis and that he was in the village on an assignment. “It’s a work assignment,” he said. “I would be here for a while.”

He kept me company until the director called and said he was ready for me. We exchanged contacts and, less than a month later, our love story began.

Because of him, I visited the village often, even when I wasn’t meeting the director. I spent weekends with him to get to know him more and also get close to the man I’d come to love.

He came home to meet my parents and told them he was ready to marry me. He hadn’t told me anything about marriage, plus our relationship was so young, a blooming flower in the sun. I didn’t know if it was going to thrive or wilt. I asked him, when we had left the presence of my parents, “Are you lying to them or do you mean what you said?”

He smiled. “If not, then what are we doing this for?” he asked me.

A couple of months later, I found out that I was pregnant. If he told me he didn’t want it, I would have understood him, but he said, “Let’s get married to make this shameless.” I answered, “There’s no shame in this; we are not teenagers.”

I was telling him he didn’t need to marry me to run away from shame, but he insisted marriage was all he wanted, so we did the knocking and before my belly announced what we were hiding from the world, we were already married. We had dated for only eleven months.

By the time my pregnancy was five months old or so, I had stopped visiting the village. He was the only one coming on weekends, or when he had off days. Sometimes he called in sick just to be with me.

Anytime he was with me, a number would call. He wouldn’t answer but would rather put the phone on silent or flight mode. I only observed but didn’t ask questions. He would go for a walk at night and, when I called him, it would be on call waiting. Not once. Not twice. I still didn’t make a fuss about it. My pregnancy was enough trouble for me.

One night while he was asleep, a call came through. I picked up. It was a lady. She wouldn’t wait for hello but started ranting: “You ignore my calls whenever you get home but still tell me you don’t have any woman there with you. Why are you not picking up my calls?”

I stepped out of the room before saying hello. “Please, this is the wife speaking. Who am I talking to?”

This question got her infuriated, so she started conjuring insults from the skies and asking me why I would pick up his boyfriend’s phone. I went back in, woke him up and gave him the phone. He looked at the name on the screen and probably the number of minutes the call had lasted, and looked at my face. “She’s still on the line. Talk to her,” I said.

The lady on the line was also pregnant. She needed him but he wouldn’t even pick up her calls. I could hear her screaming on the phone, but my husband lost his voice. He cut the call, made a confession, followed by an apology.

It seemed like my pregnancy had also taken away my anger, or the feeling of it. I didn’t react or fight. He should have left the next morning, but he stayed a week longer to talk and ask for forgiveness. I wasn’t feeling anything—anger, pain, regret—nothing.

The whole thing started getting to me after I delivered. I still wasn’t angry, but so many questions flooded my mind. I might have given him the impression that I’d forgiven him, but actually that wasn’t the truth.

When I delivered, he said he was seeking transfer to come live with me. I said no. When he came home and stayed longer than the weekend, I felt suffocated. I wanted him to leave. When he was not with me, I felt peaceful and free. It was like my soul didn’t want him near me. It should have been the opposite: that I would be worried when he was in the village because of the other lady. I didn’t care.

I opened up to my mom about the whole issue and she was like, “Ama, and you’re keeping this all to yourself? What’s wrong with you?”

I asked what I should do and she said, “If you’ve been alright for all this while, then there’s no problem. You can live with it.” I answered, “No, I haven’t been alright. I hate his presence. I wish he would go and not come back.”

She spoke to my dad about it and he also called me. He said, “You can’t live with a man you hate to see. If you can’t forgive and forget, tell him it’s over.”

I decided to go to the village and have that conversation with him. Having it with him in my space wasn’t a good idea. I thought he might break down and overstay trying to convince me to change my mind. So one early morning I set off with the baby to go and see him. While on the bus, I was conflicted. I asked myself if I was doing the right thing. I was scared I would leave the marriage and later regret it.

Even as I was entering his house, I was still not sure if I would be able to tell him that it was over. I knocked and a woman came out. She quivered out of fear when she saw me and that made me know who it was. “You’re Linda, right?”

She walked back in without saying a word. I followed. Her baby was on the sofa. I went inside and put my baby on the bed. I called my husband and told him I was in his house. He screamed, “What? Tell me you’re lying!” I answered, “Come, let’s talk.”

He called Linda to verify if indeed I was there. I was looking at her when she said yes. I didn’t know what he told her, but she started packing. I told her not to go anywhere because I was leaving very soon. “If the truth will mean anything to you, then stay and hear it,” I told her.

Francis drove in and quickly entered. I said, “I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but seeing what I had just seen, I was left with nothing but the conviction that it was the right time and moment to end this thing we call marriage. She lives with you. She doesn’t need to leave. I would rather leave.”

He didn’t say anything until the other lady walked out, and then he started begging me not to leave. I called my dad and told him what I’d found. He said, “End it and come home. You two need peace from different places.”

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

He tried leaving with me, but when he heard I was telling my dad about it, he decided against going with me.

He married me to cover a shame only to bring that shame back in a different form. We are no longer married. Anytime I think about how everything went so fast just to crash, I blame myself. I should have listened to my intuition. It wasn’t love. Our marriage was an accident, but the sad thing is, I was the one in the driving seat and watched till it came crashing.

—Ama

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*****

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I read a story here some time ago about a lady who was doing ungodly things with a dog. How the guy described the lady and her love for a dog sounded exactly like he was describing my girlfriend.

She also wanted a little dog for her twenty-fifth birthday. She cried about it all month prior to her birthday. I had no option but to get it for her. She asked me to give it a name and I jovially suggested “Name Nda Yɛ,” meaning God is not asleep.

She slapped my chest and said, “How could you look at a cute dog like this and call him that name? His name is Diesel.”

From that day everything turned to Diesel. This dog dominated our conversations as if we didn’t have anything in this world to talk about. She would post it on her status, write about it on Snapchat, and do a video of the dog bathing and post it on Instagram.

I was already fed up when that story popped up on my timeline, as if the gods of algorithms were trying to confirm my frustration. I read the story twice and went through the comments from A to Z. Some of the comments confirmed it wasn’t a new thing and most girls had been doing that.

It put me on red alert, so I started doing my own investigation. Not that I suspected she would also do the same thing but you know, it’s a strange world. You can’t believe everybody.

I went there unannounced. I even tried to install cameras in her room. The only reason I couldn’t do it was that I didn’t have the money.

I made it clear I didn’t like the way the dog had become the center of our world and how she sought to bring it up in our conversations. What annoyed me the most was, anytime I used ‘it’ as the dog’s pronoun, she corrected me: “It’s a ‘he,’ not ‘it.’”

When all else failed, I decided to eliminate the dog secretly.

The drug I put in its food worked gently and slowly. By evening, Diesel was gone. I was home when she called to tell me. She was so shocked and distraught I could feel it in her voice. “Somebody intentionally did that to my dog. It could be the neighbors. How can a strong dog like Diesel die?”

I mourned with her so she wouldn’t suspect me. I was the one who dug the hole we buried it in. She even prayed and put perfume on its grave. The fragrance couldn’t bring it back and I was glad.

I thought our relationship would come back to where it used to be before the dog, but no. My girlfriend is now paranoid. Somehow, she believes she was rather the target and the dog died to save her. As I write this, she’s saving money to buy a new poodle because Diesel was a lifesaver.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

The day she buys that dog, I will accept defeat. That I played with a dog and lost. I will walk out silently and never look back. Whatever the dog gave her that she can’t find in me, she should continue.

—Fada

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*****

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New York Attorney General Letitia James announced on Sept. 8 that she will defend her state’s abortion protections in a lawsuit brought by the state of Texas. James’ involvement sets up the first interstate fight over abortion laws since the fall of Roe v. Wade, opening the door for the Supreme Court to weigh in on a key legal mechanism that has helped people in states with bans access abortion.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton filed a civil suit against Dr. Margaret Carpenter in December for providing a telehealth abortion to a Texas-based patient. Carpenter lives and practices in New York, where abortion is legal; in Texas, where her patient received the health care, there is an almost total ban on abortion.

New York is one of several states where abortion providers are protected by shield laws—statutes that ban cooperation with other states’ attempts to enforce abortion bans. The law prohibits New York law enforcement officials from arresting or extraditing health professionals who provided abortions that are legal in New York; law enforcement also cannot cooperate with investigations or punishments of such procedures.

By setting up a clash between two states’ chief law enforcement offices, James’ intervention increases the likelihood that the New York-Texas dispute becomes a vehicle for the Supreme Court to weigh in on the constitutionality of shield laws and the telehealth abortions they enable.

This month, James, the first woman and first Black person to serve as her state’s attorney general, will argue in legal filings that the Empire State has the right to pass laws protecting its residents from another state’s abortion bans.

“Texas has no authority in New York, and no power to impose its cruel abortion ban here,” James said in a statement.

The implications are significant. Since Roe’s undoing, tens of thousands of people living under abortion bans have relied on telehealth to get care. Health providers living in states with legal abortion consult with them virtually and then have abortion pills mailed to them to take from home. Now, about 1 in 4 abortions are done through telehealth—and half of those are for people receiving shield-law-protected care. The practice is medically safe and effective and often easier and more affordable for patients than traveling to another state.

But the legality is fraught.

Supporters of the practice argue that, because the medical providers are practicing in their home states where abortion is legal they are not violating any laws. Abortion opponents say the opposite: that because the abortion ultimately occurs in a state where the procedure is banned, telehealth providers are breaking the law and must be punished accordingly.

Legal analysts have said the legality of shield laws will likely be decided by the Supreme Court. Several cases are pending that address abortions allegedly provided over telehealth to patients in states with bans, including a criminal case brought by Louisiana Attorney General Liz Murrill and two civil cases both filed by anti-abortion lawyer Jonathan Mitchell.

In February, a judge in a Texas state court ruled against Carpenter, saying she had to pay a penalty of $113,000. But New York state officials have refused to enforce the ruling, citing the state’s shield laws. Carpenter herself has not entered Texas. Then in July, Paxton sued the Ulster County, New York, clerk for declining to enter the Texas judgement against Carpenter. In that petition, he argued that New York’s shield law violates the U.S. Constitution’s Full Faith and Credit clause, which requires that states honor other states’ judicial proceedings.

The post Telehealth Abortion Could End Up in Front of The Supreme Court With This Latest Move appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Telehealth, Abortion, Could, End, Front, The, Supreme, Court, With, This, Latest, Move", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "75", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/NY-AG-Intervene-TX.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/09/09/scotus-texas-newyork-abortion-shield-law/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-10 04:33:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "80691", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is It True That Men Act Crazy When They Love You Too Much?", "title_slug": "is-it-true-that-men-act-crazy-when-they-love-you-too-much", "title_hash": "d4aeab157e79ae6459f0560fae3516f3", "summary": "Sometimes I wonder if Chine is the way he is because of me. The people I have spoken to about him have told me that he is possessive and acts …", "content": "

Sometimes I wonder if Chine is the way he is because of me. The people I have spoken to about him have told me that he is possessive and acts jealous because he loves me too much. They say it’s only a man who is crazy about you who would be jealous enough to beat me when he fears he might lose me.

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Apart from what people are saying, I know he is a good guy. He is not the kind who gives attention to other women. I am always the center of his attention when we are together. If he is not out working, he is at home with me. And though we fight every five minutes, he still gives me attention. I wonder if I would meet a man who would treat me this way if I insist I don’t want him back.

That’s right, I finally walked away when I had had enough. Oh, I went through so much in that relationship. He is telling me he has changed. He says he will do things right if I give him one more chance. “You have said this so many times,” I reminded him, “you act sweet for a day or two but you always go back to beating me at the slightest provocation.”

“This time will be different. I will open a restaurant for you so that you won’t have to work,” he promised.

This is what he does. Every time I leave, he comes bearing promises. He tells me he will change. He talks about helping me set up a business. I believed him every single time. If I were to tell you the number of times we had this very same dance, you would get tired of my story.

There was a time I even reported him to the police, and they arrested him. Back then, he would beat me badly and then threaten to end my life if I tried to leave him. So when I left, I went to the police. He acted like a crazy person when he was in their custody. So they let him go.

By the time he was out, I had gotten a job that came with accommodation. He tried to convince him to move back in with him, but I said no. It made him angry. He came to my workplace and threatened to hurt my boss if he didn’t fire me. He was on drugs, and it made him crazy. He would scream at my boss and threaten to kill me.

Eventually, he calmed down when I didn’t go back to him. That was when he promised to build a restaurant for me the very first time. He sweet-talked me into quitting my job. When I moved back in with him again, he didn’t change. He called me derogatory names like “prostitute” whenever I was friendly with other men.

As for the restaurant, he refused to do it. According to him, it’s women who bear children for men who deserve to have businesses established for them. I even asked him to give me money to start a tabletop petty trading. He said no. “As a woman, you don’t need to work. Your place is in the house. I don’t want other men coming near you.”

Despite his insistence that I stay at home, he wasn’t even giving me money. Mostly, I would have to even go out and hustle to give him money when he was down. It was only once that he gave me 2000 naira to do my hair. Even with that, I needed soap so I used part of the money to buy a bar. He got angry and seized the soap.

That’s what he does. He takes things from me when he is angry. I have lost count of the number of times he broke my phones. One time, a man was kind enough to give me money to buy a new phone. Chine got angry and broke the phone.

In case you are wondering where my family is, they are not here. I moved away from them to another town in search of greener pastures. I only wanted to work and make some money, and return home. But everything changed when I got entangled with Chine. He was kind to me when I was sick. By then, he was just a guy I had a one-night stand with. Nonetheless, he stayed by my hospital bed and took care of me. That’s how he became my boyfriend.

My job was out of town, so I used to visit him on my days off. After a while, he told me, “I don’t want a woman who lives far away from me. If not, the relationship will not work. I need someone who will live with me as a wife.”

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

I didn’t want to do that, but eventually he persuaded me to quit my job and move in with him. It was then that the sweetness turned sour. Every time I tried to leave, he would beg me to stay. If begging didn’t work, he would resort to threats. We’ve been doing this back and forth for years.

I have left him again, but he is asking for one last chance. I want to finally work and make something out of my life. I was determined to choose myself this time. I’m just confused about his love for me. Is it true that a man only acts this crazy when he loves you too much? What if I don’t meet another man who will love me this strongly?

—Harley

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#SB

", "keywords": ", True, That, Men, Act, Crazy, When, They, Love, You, Too, Much", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8360-scaled.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/is-it-true-that-men-act-crazy-when-they-love-you-too-much/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-09 07:04:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "80689", "lang_id": "1", "title": "My Innocence Was Stolen At Dawn By My Father’s Shadow", "title_slug": "my-innocence-was-stolen-at-dawn-by-my-fathers-shadow", "title_hash": "a9f3a9efa5d0a2d24f5e7914de60ea14", "summary": "It was 1995 in Duayaw. I lived with my parents and my elder brother. Our house didn’t have electricity, so in the evening I would pour kerosene into the lantern, …", "content": "

It was 1995 in Duayaw. I lived with my parents and my elder brother. Our house didn’t have electricity, so in the evening I would pour kerosene into the lantern, clean the shale, and light it. That was the only source of light we relied on in that compound house. It lit our paths and helped us see the faces of people who came by at night. It was the same light we used to study.

My brother George loved to protect me. We attended the same school. I was in primary while he was in junior high at the same school. Whenever school closed and I was still in class, either taking notes or if a teacher was still teaching, he would wait outside until I came out, and then he would walk me home.

He fought battles for me. He pushed away bad friendships. He guided me and warned me to be careful with boys. I was very young but already looked mature. By class six, my chest was full, my hips wide, and my butt shook noticeably when I walked. Some female teachers even thought I walked that way on purpose. Even before I knew anything about sex, they warned me that if I kept walking like that, men would take advantage of me before I was ready.

That made me more conscious of myself. I walked carefully. Whenever I passed boys, I stiffened up so I wouldn’t shake and tempt them. They made me hate my body. It felt like I was living in a sinful brothel, carrying my shame around for all to see. The only time I felt peace was in the presence of my brother. With him, I felt protected. He blocked the stares and kept me grounded.

My dad tried, though unsuccessfully, to teach me how to carry myself in the house. I say unsuccessfully because he gave instructions without explanations. For example, I would wear a skirt in the house and he would tell me to change it, but never said why. He gave rules without reasons, so I always ended up repeating what he had told me not to do.

He never beat me. He only gave me mean stares—the kind that made you change direction even without words.

When my brother left for boarding school after junior secondary, I knew I was losing a great companion in my life. He had always been there with me, but suddenly, I had to live without him. He was happy when leaving home, but I couldn’t share in that happiness. I should have walked him to the station to see him off, but I stayed behind. I didn’t want to cry while saying goodbye.

That night, for the first time in my life, I had to sleep alone. I cleaned the shale, poured kerosene in the lantern, and lit it. I studied by myself. There was no one to help me with my homework anymore. When it was time to sleep, I rolled the wick down to its lowest so there would be a faint spot of light in the room.

Days turned into weeks, and I was getting used to living alone, until one night everything I had learned about being alone came crashing down on me. I had left the lantern burning dimly in the corner of my room when, in the middle of the night, I felt a hand suddenly covering my mouth and nose. I opened my eyes but the room was pitch dark. I had never seen such darkness before.

As I struggled against the hands restraining me, I realized that not only were my hands pinned, but my eyes were also blindfolded.

I fought back. I wanted to scream, but the grip on my mouth was so tight and his weight on me so heavy that I couldn’t move. He didn’t speak or even breathe for me to feel his breath. He was cold. Silent. Heavy. I couldn’t win. The pain was so intense I thought I had been paralyzed from the waist down. As I moaned in agony, he kept going and going until he exhaled loudly and got off me.

My hands were frozen from pain. I couldn’t feel my legs, but I desperately wanted to know who it was. I struggled free from the blindfold, but it was too late. I only caught a glimpse of his silhouette as he dashed out of my room. His back looked like my father’s. Even his height.

I whispered, “No, this must be just a dream.” Because I couldn’t walk, I screamed. My mom rushed in with a lantern in her hands. I waited for my dad to follow, but he came in slowly. By the time he entered, I had already told my mom what had happened.

My mom checked the stains on my bed and asked, “You mean you didn’t see his face or even a little of him? You didn’t hear his voice?” I sobbed and shook my head. “He didn’t even breathe,” I replied.

My dad’s voice was calm and slow when he asked, “Then who could have done this to a child? Wouldn’t it be one of these young guys around the area?”

My mom agreed. “No doubt about it. But how can we be sure when she didn’t see a face or hear a voice?” My dad repeated one of his old pieces of advice: “You see why I always tell you to dress well? You’re more mature than your age. I tell you, but you don’t listen.”

My mom spent the rest of the night with me and took me to the hospital the next morning. All day, I replayed the scene in my head, trying to identify the silhouette I had seen. I asked my mom, “Was dad in the room all night last night?” She retorted, “We were all sleeping. How would I know?” Then she asked why I wanted to know. I answered, “Because he came late when I screamed.”

That event is the reason I fear darkness, and why I fear being alone. After it happened, I left my room and began sleeping with my parents. Later, I moved to the hall. When my brother came home on vacation and I told him, he cried. He couldn’t find the right words. He asked if I got a glimpse of my abuser, and I almost told him he looked like dad but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure.

I never saw my dad the same way again. He grew more reserved. He didn’t talk to me the way he used to or even shout at me anymore. He just watched quietly as my mom took full responsibility for raising me.

Whenever I had to be alone, I found someone to keep me company. When no friend was available, I found a boyfriend. I refused to sleep alone. I would rather spend the night with a toxic boyfriend than spend it alone. That’s how I met my husband. At first, he treated me badly, but I clung to him until he got me pregnant and married me. He had no choice, because I told him that if he didn’t marry me, I would torment his life.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

He’s a better man now. He grew into his role as a husband, and today, when he travels and I have to go through the night alone, I cling to my kids like they’re love itself. But in truth, I’m relying on them for protection through the night.
\n#MyChildhoodTrauma

—Bruwaa

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*****

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My girlfriend and I were together for a few months peacefully, until she stopped talking to me all of a sudden. We didn’t fight or have any problems. She just refused to pick up my calls and respond to my messages. I was so confused, because I could see her present online.

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When I got tired of being ignored by her, I left her alone. I was determined not to reach out to her even though I wanted answers. “If she calls or texts, I’ll hear her out,” I resolved.

Then somewhere last week she texted me, “Please I need some money urgently. I promise to pay you back when I start work.”

Her message didn’t make sense to me. First, you stopped talking to me without telling me why. When you finally reached out too, you didn’t apologise for leaving me hanging. Rather, it was to ask me for help. I didn’t know what to make of it so I didn’t respond.

So she followed up her text with a phone call. According to her story, she got a job offer in Kumasi. While it’s a good opportunity for her, the job doesn’t come with accommodation so she would have to rent a place over there.

“I need GHS3,500 to pay for the rent. You will get your money back when I start working, I assure you.”

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

The truth is, I can help her. Nonetheless, I don’t trust that she would pay me back. That’s why I’m hesitant to give it to her. I mean, this is a woman who ghosted me while we were in a relationship. What’s the guarantee that she won’t disappear on me if I give her the money?

She’s been calling and texting me as if I owe her money and I am refusing to pay. I don’t pick up. I don’t respond to her messages either. I just want to know if I should help her regardless of her actions in the past. Or if I should return her energy and ghost her in her hour of need.

—Joe

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", "keywords": "Should, Give, Girlfriend, The, Money, After, She, Ghosted, Me", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "88", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8345.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/should-i-give-my-girlfriend-the-money-after-she-ghosted-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-09 07:04:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "80688", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Eleven Years Later I Still Feel Responsible For Her Death", "title_slug": "eleven-years-later-i-still-feel-responsible-for-her-death", "title_hash": "98be89a743c0118cb9483f56a12dfc6c", "summary": "I met a girl while working at a private security company, right before I started college. She was a new recruit, posted to my station, and she was the first …", "content": "

I met a girl while working at a private security company, right before I started college. She was a new recruit, posted to my station, and she was the first person from the north I had ever spoken to at length. Despite being strangers, we clicked instantly.

During slow shifts, most of our conversations revolved around her hometown. She spoke of the festivals, the customs, and the people with such warmth that I found myself imagining the scenes she described, even though I had never been there.

The way she talked about her home made me promise her that one day, I would visit.

A year after I left the job for college, she called me. She was going home for a festival and asked if I wanted to join her. As luck would have it, I was on vacation, so I said yes.

When we arrived, her family and the entire community welcomed me like I was one of their own, from the children to the elders. The language barrier didn’t matter at all; the reception I received made me feel at home instantly. She introduced me to her brothers and relatives, and we bonded right away.

It was on that trip that I discovered what I now believe to be true: people from the north are some of the most loving people I have ever met. They open their hearts to strangers with such ease.

The very next day was market day, and the place was even more special than she had described. It was a display of colours with noise and energy. While she and her brothers were busy bargaining, I stood apart from them, simply taking everything in and watching how life looked in the North.

Then I saw her. From a distance, walking toward me, was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. Her brown skin, slender frame, and delicate features seemed almost unreal.

In that moment, it felt like we had stepped into a Bollywood scene. The noise of the market slowly faded, and the world seemed to pause just for her. Goosebumps prickled my skin, butterflies jumped in my stomach, and I swear I saw stars dancing around my head like in a cartoon.

She moved in slow motion, and I just stood there, smiling to myself, my heart felt an overwhelming sense of contentment.

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I finally gathered my courage and walked over to her, but she didn’t even glance my way, she just completely ignored me.

Still, I was determined. You know how it is; I was so focused on getting her to say something, anything. When she finished her shopping, I followed her, trying to start a conversation, but she walked in complete silence. I tried all the little tricks, threw in casual comments, even joked a bit, but nothing worked.

Just as we were nearing the edge of town, she finally spoke. She asked me what I wanted, and her voice caught me completely off guard. Not just because she finally spoke, but because she spoke Twi, my native language. I was stunned. Hardly anyone in that town spoke Twi, and she had no way of knowing where I was from

I asked her how she knew, and she told me that was exactly the reason I should stay away from her.

Imagine that meeting someone for the first time, and they already know a piece of you that no one else around them should.

I brushed it off, at that moment, I thought she was just being dramatic, you know, playing one of those hard-to-get games girls sometimes play.

I kept pressing, kept trying and when she realized I wasn’t going to back down anytime soon, she gave in. I told her I only wanted to be her friend, nothing more. She looked at me, nodded slightly, and agreed to be my friend

I asked for her number, but she said she didn’t have one. At first, I thought she was lying, but looking at her closely the way she dressed, the way she carried herself it was possible she really didn’t.

I asked how I could see her again, and she told me she only came to the market on market days.

The problem was, the next market day was a week away, and I was scheduled to leave in just two days. When I got back to the guys and told them what had happened, they cheered for me like I’d just won an award.

They said she never spoke to anyone, especially not to boys, so to them, it was a huge deal. I stayed longer in town just so I could see her again on the next market day. I felt like a teen boy with his first crush, restless and excited at the same time.

I went to the market too early, waiting, watching every face that passed, worried I might somehow miss her. When she finally came, right on time, I couldn’t stop myself.

I reached for her hand, and instead of shaking it, I kissed it. The way she looked at me told me no one had ever done that to her before. People around us stared. She looked shy and a little embarrassed, but she didn’t pull away.

We walked through the stalls together, talking and laughing while she bought her vegetables.

When she was done, we sat under a tree. I wanted to know everything about her where she lived, her family, her story.

But she stopped me said if we were to stay friends, I shouldn’t ask her anything about herself or her family. Then she added that I was the first person she had ever really spoken to apart from the sellers she bought things from.

Later, I offered to walk her part of the way home. When we reached the edge of the village, one of the boys with me whispered that we should follow her, saying maybe her family would like me.

Another boy quickly agreed. I was still thinking about it when an old man who had been listening stepped forward. He spoke in the local language, and the boys had to translate for me.

The old man claimed the girl was not human at all, but a deer. He told us he had known her since she was a fawn and had seen her transform into human form many times.

The only reason he had spared her, he said, was because she helped feed her family when times were hard. He added that the reason she avoided speaking to people was the very condition on which he had let her live.

If she had spoken freely, he would have killed her long ago, afraid she might deceive men. Everything sounded unreal to me, like something out of a folktale. So when the boys pressed him for more, he simply told us to wait.

Not long after, he returned. In one hand, he carried a blood-soaked sack, the legs of a deer sticking out from the top. In his other hand, he held the very dress she had worn that day and the cowrie beads from her ankle.

The boys stood frozen in shock, but I felt it more deeply than any of them. My heart pounded, my chest tightened with terror and regret.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

Without another word, the old man dropped the clothes and beads at our feet and walked away, selling the venison to a buyer as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

That night, I could not sleep. I could not stop crying. In my heart, I felt I had signed her death sentence by forcing her into a friendship she never wanted.

Even after 11 years, I still think about her and how I betrayed her

–

#SB<>

", "keywords": "Eleven, Years, Later, Still, Feel, Responsible, For, Her, Death", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "84", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/sad-tired-depressed-man-balcony-apartment-thinking-mental-health-house-anxiety-from-problem-home-face-african-person-with-depression-burnout-thinking-idea.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/eleven-years-later-i-still-feel-responsible-for-her-death/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-09 07:04:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "80687", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I Am The Reason My Boyfriend Is Going To Marry Another Woman", "title_slug": "i-am-the-reason-my-boyfriend-is-going-to-marry-another-woman", "title_hash": "69328e389f0699d1d771d1d6998c9317", "summary": "I relocated to the US with my boyfriend a year and a half ago. The plan was for us to raise our 2 year old son here so we brought …", "content": "

I relocated to the US with my boyfriend a year and a half ago. The plan was for us to raise our 2 year old son here so we brought him along with us here. However, when we got here we couldn’t afford the cost of daycare. It wouldn’t have also been possible for one of us to stay home and look after him. In the end, I bought a plane ticket and took him back home to stay with my mother.

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Shortly after I got back to the States, I found out I was pregnant with our second child. This pregnancy took a toll on my health. I couldn’t work properly. I could barely do stuff around my house. Luckily, my boyfriend was very supportive. He took care of me till I had the baby. I didn’t have to worry about bills. He provided everything, from rent to food till I completed my masters program.

Now, here is the problem. Unlike me, who came here on a student visa, his visa was a visitor one. He was supposed to get a job that would in turn extend his visa. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen like that. He got the job alright but he was not able to save enough money to work on his documents. Everything he earned went into taking care of me and the baby.

Considering the current political climate, he needs to get his documents sorted out before he gets busted and deported. I advised that he pays someone to do it for him but he says it’s too risky.

“If I get caught, they will deport me. The $30,000 the person would have collected would be wasted.”

His counter proposal is that he would try marry someone for real, and get the proper documentation he needs to continue living in the country.

“Even if I still get deported with that one, I would at least use the money meant for paying someone to start a business back home.”

I think his plan is solid. I am just not sure how I feel about it. If he finds someone to marry, I will be happy for him that he gets to stay in the country. But it won’t stop me from feeling sad for myself. What would that mean for our relationship anyway?

I don’t want to be selfish and tell him not to do it. I feel he’s in this situation partly because he spent the last year and a half taking care of me while putting his own life on hold. So I am convincing myself to support him to do what he needs to do for himself.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

At the moment, I have a one-year work permit with the possibility of a two-year extension after that. He doesn’t have that to fall on. So he has started talking to different women, both black and white, to see who might accept his proposal.

Whenever he goes out, I sit here with our 6-month-old baby, feeling very conflicted. I truly don’t know how to feel or what to do.

—Naana

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

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", "keywords": ", The, Reason, Boyfriend, Going, Marry, Another, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "68", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://silentbeads.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/img_8374.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "507", "post_url": "https://silentbeads.com/i-am-the-reason-my-boyfriend-is-going-to-marry-another-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-09 07:04:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "80380", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gifts for Outdoor Enthusiasts", "title_slug": "best-gifts-for-outdoor-enthusiasts", "title_hash": "93bd4206bccd6eddced19716f976b106", "summary": "Gear, Clothing & Equipment Gift Ideas for Your Most Adventurous Friends", "content": "Those who absolutely love exploring the outdoors probably already have their own arsenal of tools and gadgets at the ready for their next wilderness adventure. But let’s face it — there’s always room for a new camping accessory, waterproof gear for splashy activities, or comfortable clothing for cold-weather hiking to please an outdoorsy giftee. And besides, your loved one’s active, outdoor gear could probably use an upgrade if they've been through some wear and tear out in the harsh elements and in the wild, so why not give them a specially designed gift for an outdoor enthusiast?\r\nRELATED: Best Christmas Gifts for Him\r\nTo help you take the guesswork out of what to get the frequent outdoors-person in your life — whether they’re a traveling surfer, beginner backpacker, or seasoned camper — we’ve compiled a gift guide filled with essential equipment, awesome-to-have items, and fun stuff to inspire their next adventure. From hiking boots, base layers, and multi-tools to sturdy carryalls, purifying water bottles, and portable camp stoves, these are the best gifts for someone who loves the outdoors.\r\nRumpl Original Puffy Blanket\r\n\r\nFrom van lifers and roadtrippers to hikers and campers, the lightweight Rumpl blanket has quickly taken hold of outdoor enthusiasts' hearts. With the same quality you'd expect from a premium sleeping bag, these durable, all-weather blankets are just as comfortable at the campsite as they are at home. They keep you warm, dry, and cozy wherever you may be, and their awesome selection of colors, designs, and patterns makes them just as attractive as they are functional. Plus, they're water- and dirt-resistant, and can easily be machine-washed to get them back to their peak form. \r\nFrom $99.95 at Rumpl.com\r\nSubpar Parks: America's Most Extraordinary National Parks and Their Least Impressed Visitors by Amber Share\r\n\r\nWhat started out as a hilarious Instagram account full of artist Amber Share’s illustrations inspired by ridiculous, yet real one-star reviews of national parks and monuments is now an equally amusing and informative book. It has all of those aforementioned illustrations (plus many, many more), including the misguided soul who was upset about not being able to touch lava at Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park, and the person who felt there were just too many mountains and trees at North Cascades National Park. The book also includes backstory and facts about each park — delivered in Share's delightfully humorous tone — and tips from the very rangers that roam the parks. Part coffee table book, part travel companion, it's sure to become a treasured resource on any outdoor enthusiast's bookshelf.\r\n$16.59 at Amazon.com\r\nCOR Surf 40L Waterproof Dry Backpack\r\n\r\nDesigned to endure the harshest elements, this backpack will be the perfect companion for the adventurous explorer in your life. Whether they’re hiking rough terrain or heading to the beach, the COR Surf dry backpack keeps their gear dry. It floats safely when dropped in the water, and it features sonic-welded seams, padded ergonomic shoulder straps, and rolling hook-and-loop closure. Gifting an urban explorer? The padded laptop sleeve compartment will keep their laptop or camera safe, while the mesh side pockets stash their water bottles for quick access.\r\n$114 at CorSurf.com\r\nWelly Traveler 20oz Water Bottle\r\n\r\nWho doesn’t appreciate the gift of hydration? The outdoor enthusiast in your life will find much to love about the Welly Traveler, a triple-walled, vacuum-insulated bamboo water bottle that is topped with a sleek loop cap and a non-slip silicone pad on the bottom. It also features a removable infuser to brew tea or naturally flavor water with fruit while on the go, and the minimalist body is pleasant to hold. Even better? For every bottle sold, Welly donates $1 toward the creation of sustainable, clean water projects.\r\n$37 at WellyBottle.com\r\nMISSION Cooling Performance Baseball Cap\r\n\r\nNot only does this simple, yet stylish ball cap provide UPF 50 protection from the sun's rays, it also provides instant chemical-free cooling when activated with water. Just wet the interior band, wring out the excess water, and wave it through the air to activate the cooling, and it'll keep its cool for several hours. It's the perfect accessory for outdoor exploring on hot, sunny days, whether they're a runner, hiker, kayaker, or angler.\r\n$24.99 at Amazon.com\r\nGarmin inReach Mini 2\r\n\r\nIf they're always setting off on backcountry adventures (and that often leaves you worrying about their safety), equip them with this palm-sized satellite communicator so they always have access to help in case of an emergency. It provides two-way messaging, tracking, SOS capabilities, and high-sensitivity GPS for basic navigation, even when they're completely off the grid. They'll feel at ease as they explore, and you'll have peace of mind knowing that they can make contact even in the worst-case scenarios.\r\n$349.99 at Amazon.com\r\nVasque Breeze Hiking Boot\r\n\r\n\r\nVasque’s Breeze champions the retro-style look without sacrificing fit or function. Its lightweight construction allows it to stay comfortable for miles on end, and its Gore-Tex membrane keeps outside moisture from seeping in while simultaneously evaporating interior moisture. Vasque also constructed the boot to feature a Vasque Trail Strider outsole which stays grippy whether they’re hiking on loose gravel, dirt, wet rocks or muddy trails. Better yet, it’s the kind of boot that looks good going from trail to town — and not just in a gimmicky way. The Breeze comes in four different colorways and will instantly become anyone’s go-to hiking boot.\r\n$170 at Vasque.com\r\nOsprey Farpoint Trek 75\r\n\r\nThe Farpoint Trek 75 from Osprey is perfect for the avid traveler or backpacker. Its 55-liter capacity means it’s capable of holding enough gear for a few days on the trail, and its carry system keeps the load stable on their back the entire time. It features exterior sleeping bag straps, an adjustable back panel and convenient hip belt pockets, and also has space for a hydration pouch.\r\nOff the trail, it’s a traveler’s dream. With a luggage-style front-panel, it’s easy for them to access what they packed without having to reach into the bottom of the bag and hope they grabbed a clean shirt. It’s not exactly fit-under-an-airplane-seat size, but it would easily stow away in an overhead bin. And since it’s an Osprey pack, the quality of the materials and construction is unquestioned.\r\n$270 at Amazon.com\r\nLeatherman Signal\r\n\r\nAnyone who’s ever owned a Leatherman knows how handy it is to have one around, and the brand’s Signal multi-tool is tailor-made for the outdoors. It’s packed with various tools — 19, to be exact — including a knife, needlenose pliers, a can opener, a saw, wire cutters, and a quarter-inch wrench. There’s even a ferro rod to start fires and a built-in emergency whistle. The Signal also comes in a variety of colors and comes with Leatherman’s tried-and-true 25-year warranty (though it’s highly likely it sticks around in someone’s trail kit for far longer). It’s small enough to fit in a pant pocket, even with the included nylon sheath, so we won’t blame anyone for immediately including the Signal in their daily carry.\r\n$139.95 at Amazon.com\r\nBioLite AlpenGlow 500 USB Lantern\r\n\r\nIf you love the romanticism of classic lanterns but don't want to worry about keeping an open flame or gas-powered light in your fabric camping tent, pick up the USB-chargeable AlpgenGlow 500 from BioLite. It offers 500 lumens of brightness, five hours of run time on a single charge, and multiple light settings, including an option that mimics a flickering candle. \r\n$79.95 at BioliteEnergy.com \r\nGRAYL GeoPress Water Purifier Bottle\r\n\r\n\r\nA perfect sidekick for any wilderness adventure or emergency prep kit, this compact, 16-ounce purifier bottle can turn freshwater from rivers, lakes, and streams into safe, clean, fresh-tasting drinking water. It filters out waterborne pathogens, like bacteria and protozoan cysts, as well as sediment, chemicals, and heavy metals in one simple step. Just fill the bottle from the source and press the filter down into the cup.\r\n$99.95 at Amazon.com\r\nDuer All-Weather Denim\r\n\r\nJeans may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of an outdoorsy pant, but denim from Duer is a far cry from pulling on a pair of Wranglers. With the All-Weather pant, Duer combines its stretch-fit jean with a water-resistant coating to produce a pant that stays warm and dry in inclement weather. There’s even a reflective cuff which improves visibility in low light. The “all-weather” moniker also means they protect against wind, which works wonders toward keeping a wearer warm as well. What’s most impressive is that none of these features take away from the jean’s level of comfort or style. They may be intended for holding up in rain, snow, or high wind, but we have a feeling they'll want to wear these every day, regardless of the weather.\r\n$199 at ShopDuer.com\r\nSaxx Kinetic Underwear\r\n\r\nSaxx forever changed boxer briefs when it first debuted its innovative BallPark Pouch, a 3D hammock-shaped pouch designed to keep everything comfortably in place and provide extra space where space is needed (if you catch our drift). Now, the brand has integrated that same technology into the Kinetic, a pair of semi-compression, stretch-fit underwear that’s perfect for hikers, backpackers, runners and bikers. Constructed out of breathable, quick-drying micromesh, the Kinetic stays comfortable no matter how rigorous the activity is, and helps avoid chafing, too. After all, nothing kills a great hiking trip like a bad chafe ... ouch.\r\nFrom $37.95 at Amazon.com\r\nCotopaxi Fuego Down Jacket\r\n\r\nCotopaxi’s Fuego Down Jacket is the best of both worlds: It’s water-resistant and incredibly warm, a rarity in the down jacket space. The jacket’s filled with 800-fill goose down, which makes it super light, and its ripstop nylon shell means it’s also extremely durable. It even comes with its own stuff sack for easy transport when it’s not being worn.\r\nThe Fuego features a scuba-style hood that fits snugly when worn, and it has an adjustable drawcord waist which provides a tighter cinch to keep out cold air. Along with two zippered exterior pockets, the jacket also has two interior stash pockets which are perfect for storing the stuff sack. The Cotopaxi Fuego’s blend of comfort, function, and versatility produces a quality down jacket fit for anyone who enjoys spending time outside.\r\n$219.97 at Amazon.com\r\nHelinox Chair Zero\r\n\r\nThis chair is ultralight and compact, packing down to roughly the size of a liter bottle. It's made from aluminum alloy for maximum strength and minimum weight, and its highly durable ripstop polyester seat resists harsh weather and UV rays. It's the perfect choice for backpackers in search of a trailside seat for campfire cooking or just relaxing.\r\n$139.95 at Amazon.com\r\nYETI Hopper Portable Cooler\r\n\r\nIf they'll take any opportunity to get outside for a little fresh air and sun-soaked relaxation, help them stay fueled with snacks and drinks in this epic personal cooler. It has enough room for the equivalent of six cans plus ice, so it's perfect for day trips on the lake or at the beach, tailgating before the big game, or even just a simple picnic at the park. Its closed-cell foam insulation is far superior to your typical soft-sided cooler, and its 100% leak-proof zipper ensures easy access without the mess when on the move. Best of all, its waterproof shell resists punctures and abrasions, so it can stand up to truly rugged scenarios. \r\n$200 at Amazon.com\r\nALPS OutdoorZ Redwood Sleeping Bag \r\n\r\n\r\nEvery self-respecting outdoorsman needs a quality sleeping bag, something that can stand up to everything Mother Nature can throw at you while still being both cozy and stylish, and the ALPS OutdoorZ Redwood is the standout option in that narrow category. Made from a mixture of cotton, canvas and flannel for maximum durability and insulation, this sleeping bag is rated to withstand temperatures as chilly as -25 degrees Fahrenheit, while convenience features like quick-release straps and a full-length zipper make it easy to both pack and unpack.\r\n$184.99 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig\r\n\r\n\tEssential Tailgate Gear\r\n\tBest Christmas Gifts for Your Husband\r\n\tCamping for Beginners", "keywords": "Best, Gifts, for, Outdoor, Enthusiasts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/hobby/best-gifts-for-outdoor-enthusiasts/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757341934.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/hobby/best-gifts-for-outdoor-enthusiasts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-09 06:34:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79683", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Beware of Becoming the 'Checklist Boyfriend/Husband'", "title_slug": "beware-of-becoming-the-checklist-boyfriendhusband", "title_hash": "f4d56345e70f8acba07144f856d75586", "summary": "Women check out from relationships with checklist boyfriends & husbands. Being the ‘checklist guy’ is the last thing you want – so here’s how to not be it.\nThere’s a phenomenon I have observed where men and women who get dumped and do not understand why reel off a checklist of ‘qualifying characteristics’.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"don't$ Women check out from relationships with checklist boyfriends & husbands. Being the ‘checklist guy’ is the last thing you want – so here’s how to not be it.

There’s a phenomenon I have observed where men and women who get dumped and do not understand why reel off a checklist of ‘qualifying characteristics’.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Beware, Becoming, the, Checklist, BoyfriendHusband", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/checklist-husband-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/beware-becoming-checklist-boyfriend-husband", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79684", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Stories Revisited: When It's Best to Use Them with Women (and How)", "title_slug": "sex-stories-revisited-when-its-best-to-use-them-with-women-and-how", "title_hash": "418e612d0ec5e78158400f8d0a453d0d", "summary": "Sex stories get you & a woman discussing sex in a big (+ intimate) way. But can they be too much? Discover when they work best – and just how to use them.\nHey guys.\nI hope you are doing well.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"sex$ Sex stories get you & a woman discussing sex in a big (+ intimate) way. But can they be too much? Discover when they work best – and just how to use them.

Hey guys.

I hope you are doing well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Sex, Stories, Revisited:, When, Its, Best, Use, Them, with, Women, and, How", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "71", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/09/sex-stories-revisited-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/sex-stories-revisited-when-its-best-use-them-women-and-how", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79681", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Kinds of Women That Men Never Forget", "title_slug": "5-kinds-of-women-that-men-never-forget", "title_hash": "415e5d7e91ef4ab220d7563b1e82e96f", "summary": "Some women leave a mark that lasts forever. It is not always about appearance or status, but the…", "content": "Some women leave a mark that lasts forever. It is not always about appearance or status, but the…", "keywords": ", Kinds, Women, That, Men, Never, Forget", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/classy-woman-e1757027453918.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/5-kinds-of-women-that-men-never-forget/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79682", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What The Way You Kiss Says About How You Have Intimacy", "title_slug": "what-the-way-you-kiss-says-about-how-you-have-intimacy", "title_hash": "ac28cc47d57cc57322f23fbaaabb7f2a", "summary": "A kiss can say more than words ever could. It is not just a sweet moment or a…", "content": "A kiss can say more than words ever could. It is not just a sweet moment or a…", "keywords": "What, The, Way, You, Kiss, Says, About, How, You, Have, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "79", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/what-does-it-mean-when-your-ex-kisses-you.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/what-the-way-you-kiss-says-about-how-you-have-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79677", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Women Share Why They Had Sex With Their Partner", "title_slug": "women-share-why-they-had-sex-with-their-partner", "title_hash": "5ae5128e2d31d40f97ee83a87835da1e", "summary": "What makes women get aroused enough to have sex with their partners?\r\nIt’s a question that untold numbers of men have pondered over in the course of human history. Whether it’s about stimulating the desire of your brand-new girlfriend or your wife of several decades, if you’re horny and hoping to get some, it’s only natural that you’d start wondering what would get her in the mood. \r\nRELATED: What Women Find Sexy, Explained \r\nWhile being kind-hearted and thoughtful, going down on her, putting her needs first, and sure, a bouquet of flowers here and there are all great ideas you should never forget about it, not everything that turns women on is textbook material. \r\nIn order to give you an idea of how varied these motives can be, we spoke to seven women about unexpected things that made them want to have sex with their partner — and then explained a little bit of what’s going on behind the scenes. \r\n1. He Installed My Air Conditioner\r\n“It was 95 degrees and this guy installed my air co", "content": "What makes women get aroused enough to have sex with their partners?\r\nIt’s a question that untold numbers of men have pondered over in the course of human history. Whether it’s about stimulating the desire of your brand-new girlfriend or your wife of several decades, if you’re horny and hoping to get some, it’s only natural that you’d start wondering what would get her in the mood. \r\nRELATED: What Women Find Sexy, Explained \r\nWhile being kind-hearted and thoughtful, going down on her, putting her needs first, and sure, a bouquet of flowers here and there are all great ideas you should never forget about it, not everything that turns women on is textbook material. \r\nIn order to give you an idea of how varied these motives can be, we spoke to seven women about unexpected things that made them want to have sex with their partner — and then explained a little bit of what’s going on behind the scenes. \r\n1. He Installed My Air Conditioner\r\n“It was 95 degrees and this guy installed my air conditioner and it was so sexy. But not just sticking the thing in the window. He talked me through the best BTU for the size of my apartment. Then, he talked down the sales guy when he came with me to buy it because I told him I had seen it online for cheaper. And then, he carried it the seven blocks back to my apartment and came up with different solutions for keeping me safe with this thing in the window since my apartment is on the first floor. Plus: he added extra insulation so that it'd stay really cool. And then obviously I tackled him.” — Debbie\r\nWhy It’s Hot: Being good at something is often attractive, and especially when it’s something that’s got a little toughness to it. Lots of women find it hot when a guy’s handy with a toolkit, and when you use those skills to help them out, that’s extra seductive to many women.\r\n2. He Told Me I Was Sexy\r\n“He does a few things that turn me on, randomly. Like, when we first wake up in the morning and I know I look like a pale, wrinkled prune and he tells me I’m beautiful and sexy. Or, when he first gets out of the shower and is drying off, and I can see his cute butt.” — Kristy\r\nWhy It’s Hot: Whether your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation or not, most people do enjoy hearing people say nice things about them. In a romantic context, hearing your partner gush about how hot you are is a big turn-on for a lot of people. It makes them feel desired and desirable at the same time. \r\n3. He Was Hot Brushing His Teeth\r\n“Remember that scene in Bring It On when Kirsten Dunst is brushing her teeth with that guy? It sounds silly, but honestly, when we were brushing our teeth together, there was just something so damn sexy about it. I had to have him.” — Molly\r\nRELATED: Signs She's Interested in Having Sex With You \r\nWhy It’s Hot: While many women do appreciate a man who takes care of his grooming and oral hygiene, that’s not what’s going on here. Brushing your teeth is a surprisingly intimate ritual, and sharing the bathroom with a partner late at night where you’re both looking at each other in the mirror and maybe not wearing a ton of clothing… Sounds surprising, but it could get steamy in a hurry if you play your cards right. \r\n4. He Did the Damn Dishes\r\n“We’re new parents, so we are basically sleepless, exhausted and filled with joy 24/7. It’s awesome and hard. But one time, when I asked him to wash the dishes, he just did it. No complaints, no arguing, no delaying. That, right there, made me want to jump his bones… after the baby fell asleep.” — Nicole\r\nWhy It’s Hot: It’s well established that women find it sexy when guys do their share of the housework. Not because there’s anything inherently hot about tackling the dishes, but because the legions of men who don’t put in the effort make guys who do look super sexy by comparison. \r\n5. He Supported Women\r\n“He went on this long rant about sexism in the workplace, and how he’d be given credit for something his co-worker did and he hated it. As a feminist, it was so validating, awesome and really, really sexy to hear all of that from someone I love. I tell ya, feminism, it can get you laid, guys!” — Lauren\r\nWhy It’s Hot: Women have to deal with a dating pool that’s full of guys who don’t believe in equal rights for women and show it in obvious and less obvious ways. In that context, being a non-performative, genuine male feminist isn’t only non-problematic, it’s downright hot. \r\n6. He Remembered I Like Orange Juice With Pulp\r\n“After my boyfriend and I had been dating for about six months or so, I was spending the weekend over at his place and he got up before me. I didn’t think anything of it, he usually did, but when I finally rolled out of bed 30 minutes later, he was nowhere to be found. His phone was there, so I knew he couldn’t be too far, but I also couldn’t text him. Ten minutes later, he showed up, with a single plastic bag in hand and two coffees. When I gave him a puzzling look, he simply said, ‘We only had orange juice without pulp, and I know you like it with pulp, so I went and got you some.’ I told him to come back to bed immediately.” — Lucy\r\nRELATED: How to Improve Your Attractiveness \r\nWhy It’s Hot: There’s nothing worse than dating someone who sees you as nothing more than a means to an end. When your partner remembers things about you and thinks about what you’d like, it’s a sign that they really care about you and are on the lookout for ways to make you happy. Simply put, that’s hot for a lot of women. \r\n7. He Argued With Me (For a Good Reason)\r\n“Now, before you rush to conclusions here, normally, I would never like it if my boyfriend picked fights with me all the time. But this time, it was different. I was upset about something a friend had done that I thought was rude, and instead of just nodding along and feeding my fire, he asked me really pointed questions and played devil’s advocate with me until I calmed down. When I asked why he didn’t take my side, he said ‘This is one of your best friends, you don’t need to have trouble there. I want you to be happy.’ I kissed him hard and pulled my top down, right there.” — Melissa\r\nWhy It’s Hot: It’s true that some people get a little excited by sparring, whether it’s verbal jousting or a little wrestling action that functions as a kind of foreplay. Seeing your partner’s strengths and passion can be a real turn-on for many people, and women are no different. In this context, where it’s standing up for something potentially important rather than just trying to be right about something, that can really get someone’s motor running. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Tell If a Girl Likes You 5 Types of Men Women Find Attractive \tThe Difference Between Cute and Sexy", "keywords": "Women, Share, Why, They, Had, Sex, With, Their, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/07/15-033006-women_share_why_they_had_sex_with_their_partner.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/women-share-why-they-had-sex-with-their-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79678", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Top 10 Traits of a Great Boyfriend", "title_slug": "top-10-traits-of-a-great-boyfriend", "title_hash": "336d432ce96f3f059683459905407406", "summary": "Your mother may think you're the ultimate catch, but unless you have most of these going for you, she's wrong.", "content": "Maybe you're lucky enough to be in a great relationship with someone you love, or perhaps you're planning for the bliss of partnered life some time in the near future. \r\nEither way, you’ve probably decided it’s time to work on being the best possible boyfriend you can be, mostly to secure your future partner’s continuing interest and commitment, but also for the sake of your own self improvement, too. \r\nRELATED: The Traits All Great Girlfriends Have, Revealed \r\nBut how do you go from being a bumbling, ordinary guy to the kind of dream boyfriend that people brag about? Easy… keep reading. These are the top traits of a great boyfriend:\r\n1. You’re an Active Listener\r\nActive listening is a skill. Poor listeners simply nod along while the other person is talking; thinking about what to say next rather than really taking in what’s being said. \r\nFocus instead on allowing your partner to fully say their piece, whether they’re telling a small, throwaway story or delving into a deep and meaningful relationship. \r\nRELATED: How Asking Questions Is a Dating Hack \r\nFailing to listen to your partner is disrespectful and limits intimacy. Practice listening to your significant other without interrupting, one-upping or playing devil’s advocate, and before long you’ll be a prize BF. \r\n2. You’re Funny (But Not Exhaustingly So)\r\nIt’s no secret that women love funny guys. Regardless of gender or sexuality, though, a shared sense of humor and ability to bond over hilarious things is a key quality in any strong relationship. A good laugh can cut through a tense moment, make you feel closer, or kick off a long-running joke that’ll be like a code word between the two of you. \r\nHowever, remember that it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. It can be a drag to be partnered up with a man who considers himself a comedian but steamrolls or ignores his significant other’s jokes and witty asides. \r\nTrue banter occurs when both sides riff off each other, and if you’re one of those guys who — consciously or unconsciously — subscribes to the idea that women aren’t as funny as men, your girlfriend might not love the results. \r\nRELATED: Surprising Behaviors That Will Get You Dumped \t \r\nMake room for both of you to tickle each other’s funny bones — it’ll be much more fun for both of you that way.\r\n3. You’re Committed\r\nUnless you’re non-monogamous, having a partner means opting out of sexual relationships with other people. Either way, commitment of some kind is the foundation of all meaningful relationships. \r\nEven if you’re both sleeping with other people, commitment to your partner’s wellbeing (in the form of engaging in safer sex and hewing to any boundaries you’ve discussed with each other) isn’t fundamentally different from a commitment to monogamy. \r\nRELATED: Exploring the Different Levels of Cheating\r\nUltimately, it’s up to you to set the parameters for what counts as a breach of trust in your relationship: for some, kissing will be crossing the line, for others, obvious, disrespectful flirting will spark a serious argument. \r\nBe clear about the boundaries from the start, and stick to them. However, being a great boyfriend involves more than just meeting the minimal requirement of not cheating. Committed BFs factor their partners into their future plans, introduce them to their friends and family, and avoid keeping the relationship a secret (a classic sign of flakiness.)\r\n4. You Take Care of Your Appearance\r\nBeing drop-dead gorgeous is the domain of only a select few of us, but every guy can make an effort to be well-groomed and tidily put together. \r\nIt’s pretty simple: Great boyfriends make a reasonable effort to dress well, smell good and groom their body hair in some way, shape or form. You'd expect the same from your partner, no? It doesn’t mean you have to be Adonis — just don’t be a slob. \r\nIf you’re anxious because you’re not sure how to upgrade, improve or revitalize your look, you can ask a trusted friend for advice, or even your partner your partner… or click below:\r\nRELATED: How to Improve Your Attractiveness \r\n5. You’re Empathetic\r\nRelationships aren’t always smooth sailing and slurping each end of a single strand of pasta until you’re kissing each other’s marinara-stained lips. \r\nSometimes you or your partner will hit rough patches in your own lives, or there’ll be tensions within the relationship that calls for a solution. Empathy is a crucial gel in good relationships and a skill that all great boyfriends have mastered. \r\nExpressing empathy doesn’t always mean you have to go into “fix everything” mode, which many men are liable to do. Often it’s better to say, “I’m so sorry that’s happening to you” or “That must be hard, I’m here for you.” \r\nRELATED: How to Use 'Solve Languages' to Improve Your Relationship\r\n6. You’re Good in Bed\r\nNot everyone cares about sex, but unless your partner’s asexual, there’s a pretty good chance that they’ll be hoping you’ll care about their pleasure. \r\nEspecially for men who date women, being a selfish lover is an all-too-common trait, as evidenced by the existence of the “orgasm gap.”\r\nFortunately, being good in bed doesn’t mean having a huge dick or porn-star stamina, it simply involves open communication, open-mindedness and a commitment to your partner’s pleasure. \r\n(Need more detail? Check out this article on how to have a better sex life.)\r\n7. You’re Interested in Learning\r\nWhether you’re still in school or it’s but a distant memory, learning is an important part of being a great boyfriend. For one, an interest in self-improvement is rarely unattractive, and it’ll also round you out as a person. \r\nRELATED: Best Books About Relationships \t\r\nFor two, it’s not the most fun to be with someone who’s stuck in their ways, uncurious or committed to outdated ideas or values. Great BFs are out there exercising their brains, whether you're following blogs, listening to podcasts, taking classes or just reading plain old-fashioned books.\r\n8. You’re Giving\r\nAn important component of being a great boyfriend is being generous and helpful. But generosity isn’t solely about giving your partner gifts or spending money on them: you can be generous with your time, effort and compliments, too. \r\nGreat boyfriends make sure their partners don’t have to take care of everything, and help with relationship admin such as housework and planning dates. \r\nRELATED: Housework Can Have a Big Impact on Your Relationship Happiness\r\nLet the following metaphor guide you to relationship bliss: “If you’re not sure whose turn it is to take out the trash, make it your turn.” There’s a reason so many women say that men who take care of domestic responsibilities are a form of porn — it’s really hot to feel like your partner’s taking care of you rather than expecting you to do everything. \r\n9. You Communicate Constructively\r\nWithin relationships, you’re always going to encounter difficulties where you’re both beating your head against a wall trying to understand each other. \r\nThe only way to get around this is with open, honest communication. It can be useful to frame the discussion using “I” language to avoid casting blame and to foster deeper intimacy; for example, “I felt insecure when X happened” or “I love it when you tell me Y.” \r\nGreat boyfriends see conversations with their partners as a path to mutual satisfaction and growth, rather than interactions where one side needs to win or be “right.”\r\nRELATED: Qualities Women Look for in a Man \r\n10. You’re Kind\r\nMost men know that it’s a relationship basic to be kind to your boyfriend or girlfriend — it’s not rocket science. \r\nHowever, great boyfriends know that it’s important to be kind to other people, too. Being rude to service workers, for instance, will count in a partner’s assessment of you. They’re likely to notice how you treat their friends and family as well as your own, because after the honeymoon phase wears off, this is the best indication of how you’ll end up treating her.\r\nThat’s all there is to it, really. No bells and whistles, no snake oil — just the same good, honest personal characteristics your mom has probably been trying to drill into you for years. \r\nRELATED: Boyfriend Mistakes You Don't Realize You're Making\r\nPut some effort into cultivating these qualities and not only will your romantic relationships improve, all your relationships will improve, and you’ll certainly qualify among the ranks of the world’s great boyfriends.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Keep a Relationship Interesting Red Flags to Watch Out for in a RelationshipHow to Handle a Relationship Argument", "keywords": "Top, Traits, Great, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "98", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/03/24-115151-top_10_traits_of_a_great_boyfriend.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten/64_dating_list.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79679", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Do When You Have a Sexually Transmitted Infection", "title_slug": "what-to-do-when-you-have-a-sexually-transmitted-infection", "title_hash": "10a38fd9da56356bdef9577bd6d3b884", "summary": "5 Things You Should Know About Having a Sexually Transmitted Infection", "content": "Is there any buzzkill quite like sexually transmitted infections? \r\nThey can absolutely retroactively ruin an otherwise perfectly fun and consensual hookup, and even contracting a less serious one can change how you feel about the person who gave it to you, whether they were a one-night stand or your spouse of many years.\r\nWhile they’re far from the end of the world, and people who are very sexually active may just resign themselves to catching a few in the course of a sex life well spent, an ounce of prevention, as they say, is worth a pound of cure. Using barrier protection methods and/or pre-exposure prophylaxis is your best bet. \r\nRELATED: Safer Sex Mistakes That Can Lead to STIs\r\nBut if that falls through and you find yourself suspecting or knowing you’ve caught something, how should you react? In order to get a better sense of how to respond to contracting an STI, AskMen spoke to a couple of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say: \r\n\r\nSexually Transmitted Infection Advice\r\n\r\nWhat You Should Do: If You Suspect You Have an STI\r\nWhether you noticed a potential symptom on your body or a partner’s, got a direct disclosure of an STI status from someone you slept with or just heard about someone’s status through the grapevine, worrying that you may have a sexually transmitted infection isn’t pleasant. \r\nHowever, the natural urge many people have to simply ignore warning signs in the hopes they’ll go away is the exact opposite of what you should do if you suspect you have an STI.\r\n“If you suspect you have an STI, take a breath and don’t panic,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Lovehoney Scientific Advisor and Kinsey Institute Researcher. “STIs are very common, most are highly treatable, and they don’t have to mean the end of your sex or romantic life.”\r\nThen he says, the first real step “is to visit a clinic or make an appointment with your healthcare provider to get tested.”\r\nEven if you think there’s a fairly remote chance that you caught an infection, there are a number of reasons not to put off being tested, says Monica Lynne, a sex and relationship expert at the dating app Flirtini, an LMHC, AASECT-certified sex, intimacy and relationship therapist. \r\nFor one, preventing further spread if your sex partners are hooking up with other people as well. For two, preventing the infection from worsening by beginning a treatment plan ASAP.\r\n“Bacterial STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea can cause Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) in women and Epididymitis in men, which can cause chronic pain and lead to infertility in both,” Lynne notes. \r\n“Viral STIs like HPV, HSV and HIV can also damage the immune system or lead to related cancers and further infections as well as have the possibility to remain in one’s system for life,” she adds. “Getting diagnosed and appropriate medications to treat STIs is essential to protect one’s body and health and the quicker they are treated the less discomfort, pain and damage occurs.\"\r\nRELATED: The Best Proven At-Home STI Test Kits \r\nAn important final step? If you’re worried you may have an STI, “refrain from partnered sex while you’re waiting for your test results” says Lehmiller.\r\nWhat You Should Do: If You’re Diagnosed With an STI\r\nAs Lehmiller said above, if you test positive, don’t panic. \r\nDespite the best attempts of medical science, STIs are quite common. Humans are complicated creatures when it comes to sex, and as much as it is best practice, we don’t always get tested often enough. Someone being a little careless passed something on to one person, that person being a little careless passed it on to someone else, and now you have it.\r\nThe common cold works much the same way, but we don’t demonize or shame people for having the sniffles. \r\n“If your test results come back positive for an STI, your healthcare provider will advise on the best course of treatment and actions you should take. Be sure to follow their guidance,” says Lehmiller.\r\n“This may include taking some type of medication, getting re-tested at a later date, avoiding partnered sex until the infection has cleared, making a safer-sex plan for the future, and informing current and former partners who should be tested as well,” he adds. \r\n“The next important step is to alert past partners that could have been affected by the STI so that they can get treated as well and alert any of their partners,” says Lynne. “This can be especially important for men as almost all STIs may not show as symptomatic initially in men, which increases the rate of transmission.\"\r\nRELATED: How to Tell a Partner You Have a Sexually Transmitted Infection \r\nAs unpleasant as that conversation may feel ahead of time, it’s deeply important. A disclosure just like that might have saved you from getting your infection; you doing the brave and necessary thing and telling your past sex partner(s) could prevent many others from experiencing this particular unpleasantness.\r\nWhat You Should Do: After Beginning Treatment\r\nWhile it seems to be trendy in this day and age to question the advice of medical professionals, the science on STIs is sound. \r\n“If you’re being treated for a curable STI, it’s important to complete the full course of treatment and wait to resume sexual activity until advised by your healthcare provider,” says Lehmiller.\r\n“Giving the body the time to heal and rid itself of the bacteria or let viral symptoms dissipate so there is less chance of spreading through skin-to-skin contact/friction helps reset the body back to homeostasis and keep everyone safer from risk of infection,” Lynne explains. \r\nHowever, it’s not 100% guaranteed that you’re in the clear for solo pleasure either. Depending on the STI you have, masturbation could lead to reinfection, so ask your doctor about best practices.\r\n“Keep in mind that autoinoculation can occur through masturbatory play if hands are in contact with blisters, warts, fluids and then other areas of the body are touched,” Lynne says. \r\nWhat You Should Do: If the STI Is Easily Treatable\r\nAs noted above, a good amount of STI transmission may amount to little more than some interactions with a healthcare professional, taking some antibiotics, informing any impacted parties, and refraining from sex for a bit — not exactly the nightmare fuel of so many high school sex-ed classes. \r\n“Easily treatable STIs, like chlamydia, don’t involve a huge lifestyle disruption,” says Lehmiller. “Your healthcare provider will likely advise you to wait a week or two following treatment before resuming sexual activity.”\r\nHowever, Lehmiller notes, “If you have a regular partner (or partners), they should also be tested and treated before resuming sex because if they have the infection, they can just pass it right back to you.”\r\nRELATED: STIs That Show on Your Face\r\nWhat You Should Do: If the STI Isn’t Easily Treatable\r\nMost STIs — the bacterial ones — can be treated fairly easily with antibiotics and you can return to having fun sexcapades after a few weeks. But unfortunately, that’s not the case for all sexually transmitted infections. In particular, HIV and HSV2, also known as genital herpes, are viral infections for which treatment is much more complex. \r\n“If you have an STI that is not curable, try not to panic. This does not have to mean the end of your sex life,” says Lehmiller. “Generally speaking, there will be a lot of things you can do to manage the infection and reduce the chances of passing it along to others. For example, in the case of herpes infection, antiviral medications can be used to reduce the frequency of outbreaks and minimize symptoms.”\r\n“Likewise, in the case of HIV, medical treatments can suppress the infection to undetectable levels that virtually eliminate any chance of transmitting it.”\r\nThereafter, Lehmiller notes, you should “consult with your healthcare provider about the best course of medical treatment, practice safer sex (e.g., using condoms or barriers), and communicate with your partner(s).”\r\nLots of progress has been made in recent years to address these trickier STIs. Lynne notes that “taking Valacyclovir daily is an option in the case of HSV to decrease the amount of shedding of the virus.”\r\nAs for HIV, “Taking antiretroviral therapy (ART) if one contracts HIV can help reduce the viral load,” Lynne adds.\r\nShe also emphasizes the importance of “disclosing to all partners past, present and future so that they can get tested and if HIV negative can get on PrEP if they plan to continue engaging sexually with an HIV+ partner.”\r\nRELATED: The Ultimate Guide to Dating With STIs\r\nWhile STIs like HIV and HSV2 will be dealbreakers for many people, not everyone sees them that way. Beyond finding partners who understand sexual health topics enough not to be freaked out by the mere mention of an STI, lots of sexual play doesn’t necessitate genital touching. \r\n“It’s also important to practice self-care and be kind to yourself because, in the case of incurable STIs, people often feel guilt or shame,” says Lehmiller. “If you find yourself struggling emotionally, speak to a licensed therapist and consider joining a support group,” or checking out online STI resources like this one from Lovehoney.\r\nRELATED: How Easy Is It to Contract HIV If I Have Gay Sex? \r\n“STIs are somewhat of an unavoidable part of being sexually active, yet often people struggle with shame around the topic once contracting an STI,” says Lynne. “If we can increase education and help people lead with transparency, we can reduce the shame and awkwardness.”\r\n“Getting tested regularly and protecting partners increases the safety and integrity of those we sexually engage with by giving others all the information, so they can make informed decisions about their body.\" \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Diagnose and Treat Syphilis Here’s What It’s Like to Take a Home STI TestWhat to Do If You Hate Wearing Condoms", "keywords": "What, When, You, Have, Sexually, Transmitted, Infection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-health/what-to-do-when-you-have-a-sexually-transmitted-infection/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1757085873.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-health/what-to-do-when-you-have-a-sexually-transmitted-infection.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79680", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Virgo Season Sex Positions", "title_slug": "virgo-season-sex-positions", "title_hash": "9da4a4b6341fa7b509e2bd987d7048ff", "summary": "8 Spicy Sex Positions to Get Into Your Virgo Energy This Fall", "content": "If you’re a Virgo, born between August 23rd and September 22nd, then you probably believe intimacy is about much more than a physical release. Virgos crave connection that feels intentional, sensual, and nourishing. Why? They’re practical and precise, but also deeply sensual when they choose to share their trust. Ruled by Mercury, communication and subtle detail are your love languages, so you cherish more meaningful moments.\r\nVirgos are often misunderstood as overthinkers in bed, but when they relax into their sensual side, they’re one of the most attentive, generous, and grounding lovers of the zodiac. You don’t need fireworks to impress — you need positions that let you savour each detail, create comfort, and turn intimacy into something sacred.\r\nRELATED: Leo Season Sex Positions\r\nWith guidance from the experts at LoyalFans, we’ve crafted a list of sex positions designed to celebrate Virgos’ unique qualities: grounding, nurturing, flexible, and surprisingly inventive. These aren’t just about pleasure; they’re about refinement, care, and the art of making every touch unforgettable.\r\n1. The Healer’s Embrace\r\n\r\nVirgos are natural caretakers, and this position lets that side shine. The receiving partner lies on a comfortable surface with their knees bent and legs loosely wrapped around their lover’s hips. The giving partner then lowers themselves chest-to-chest, arms cradling their partner like a hug.\r\nInstead of fast thrusts, these movements are measured and steady, punctuated by forehead kisses, murmured reassurances, and skin-to-skin stillness. The effect is deeply intimate and almost therapeutic — like you’re being held and healed at once. For Virgos, this is the ultimate reminder that sex can be tender, grounding, and restorative without losing its erotic charge.\r\n2. The Sacred Lotus\r\n\r\nFor Virgos, foreplay often begins long before anyone touches. They’re the sign that lights candles, smooths the sheets, adjusts the pillows, and makes sure the space feels perfect - because for them, the environment is part of the experience. Sex is never just a chaotic release; it’s a ritual of connection, and The Sacred Lotus embodies that mindset.\r\nHere, one partner sits upright, cross-legged on the floor or bed, while the other lowers into their lap, facing them. Instead of rushing, both take a moment to breathe together, syncing inhales and exhales until their rhythms align. Hands can press against each other’s chests or rest on the stomach — Virgos’ ruled body zone — for a grounding sense of touch.\r\nMeanwhile, these movements are gentle; rocking rather than thrusting, letting passion build gradually in time with breath. For Virgos, the beauty lies in the details: the way their partner’s heartbeat feels under their palm, the way steady eye contact transforms the moment, and the way breath itself becomes part of the rhythm. This sex is ceremonious, turning intimacy into a sacred practice where every breath and subtle shift matters.\r\n3. The Modest Tease\r\n\r\nVirgos are often seen as modest, reserved, even buttoned-up - but anyone lucky enough to get past that exterior knows they have a wild side that thrives on contrast. The Modest Tease is the perfect way to play with that duality: outwardly composed, inwardly burning.\r\nIn this position, the receiving partner stays partly clothed — maybe still in a skirt, shirt, or underwear that hasn’t been fully removed. They position themselves on their hands and knees, while the giver kneels behind, sliding fabric aside just enough to enter. The thrill here comes from what’s hidden as much as what’s revealed… The layers of clothing act as a boundary, turning every touch into a slow unveiling, every movement into something forbidden. For Virgos, who often wrestle with modesty in public but crave freedom in private, this is electrifying, letting them explore their sensual depths without abandoning their composed exterior.\r\n4. The Nurturer’s Wrap\r\n\r\nVirgos’ protective streak comes alive here. The receiver lies face down with pillows cushioning their chest and hips. The giver straddles from behind, lowering their torso until their chest meets the receiver’s back, arms wrapped around them in a cocoon-like embrace.\r\nThese movements are slow, grounding, and enveloping — less about domination and more about closeness. Lips trail down the spine, hands stroke the arms or waist, and the whole experience feels like being shielded while surrendered. For Virgos, this position captures the heart of their intimacy style: protective, caring, and erotic in a quietly powerful way.\r\n5. The Precision Glide\r\n\r\nFor Virgos, detail is everything, and this position turns subtlety into power. Both partners lie on their sides facing each other, legs entwined like a yin-yang spiral. Instead of hard thrusts, the rhythm is slow and deliberate — hips swaying, rolling, and shifting with subtle precision, every adjustment fine-tuned for maximum connection.\r\nThis closeness allows for eye contact, gentle kisses, and playful touches, while the side angle keeps everything relaxed. Virgos’ love of refinement thrives here: every micro-adjustment changes the sensation, and together you build a hypnotic rhythm that proves passion doesn’t have to be loud to be overwhelming.\r\n6. Forever Devoted\r\n\r\nIn this position, the giver sits upright with their legs outstretched, steady and grounded. The receiver then lowers themselves across their partner’s lap horizontally, body reclined, while the giver supports them by holding gently behind the knees. The effect is striking: one partner cradled as if carried, suspended in their lover’s arms, while the other anchors them with quiet strength.\r\nEvery movement here is slow and intentional. The giver sets the pace, hips rising to meet their partner, arms steadying and supporting, while the receiver surrenders into the hold - head tipping back, body completely open, utterly safe in their partner’s care. It is both vulnerable and exhilarating, transforming sex into an act of being cherished.\r\nVirgos will revel in this shape because it embodies their dual desire: precision and devotion, control and care. Forever Devoted requires focus, patience, and strength — all qualities Virgos thrive on — while letting them express loyalty in its purest form: physically carrying and sustaining their partner’s pleasure.\r\n7. The Standing Stone\r\n\r\nEarth signs crave stability, and this standing position channels Virgos’ grounded strength. The receiver leans forward against a wall, counter, or sturdy surface, feet firmly planted and spine elongated. The giver stands behind, gripping hips or wrapping arms around the torso while controlling the pace with deliberate, rooted movements.\r\nThis isn’t chaotic — it’s stable, reliable, powerful. For Virgos, the thrill lies in the sense of being anchored: strong footing, firm rhythm, and a connection that feels as solid as stone. It’s sex that proves practicality can be deeply, deliciously erotic.\r\n8. The Whispering Vines\r\n\r\nVirgos are ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, and nothing turns them on more than intimacy woven with words. In this position, the receiver lies diagonally across the bed while the giver drapes over them, bodies entwined like vines. Legs hook together, torsos press close, and hips rock in subtle motion. However, the magic is in the whispers: encouragement, dirty talk, and teasing words shared against the ear or neck. For Virgos, language is foreplay after all…\r\nVirgo Season is about slowing down, savoring connection, and celebrating the quiet intensity of care. These positions aren’t about performance or theatrics — they’re about devotion, practicality, and the sensual magic of refinement. For Virgos, pleasure comes not from chaos, but from presence, thoughtfulness, and the joy of making every touch feel intentional.\r\nFor more passionate ideas and expert intimacy tips, visit www.loyalfans.com.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n7 Sex Positions Women EnjoyThe Etiquette of 69Best Doggy Style Sex Positions", "keywords": "Virgo, Season, Sex, Positions", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "82", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-positions/virgo-season-sex-positions/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1757106381.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-positions/virgo-season-sex-positions.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79676", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Walking Pads", "title_slug": "best-walking-pads", "title_hash": "d8c0e4c37bccb2e4e1ee499cb0c9ca23", "summary": "These Portable Cardio Machines Are a Game-Changer for Improving Body Composition", "content": "It’s no secret that technology has been revolutionizing fitness for decades now, but every once in a while there’s a new tech development that has massive upsides for our health and yet somehow still manages to fly under the radar. Imagine if, for example, the Apple Watch was somehow still slept on as a health monitoring tool — that would be shocking, right? Well, we’re here to tell you that there’s already a game-changing fitness device, widely available and completely affordable, that most people are still overlooking: walking pads.\r\nThe popular misconception is that they are just less-functional treadmills, a cheaper and less-well-made take on an existing exercise machine, but trust us when we say that couldn’t be further from the truth. Walking pads are a new form entirely, and one that serves a very specific and important need: combatting our sedentary lifestyles.\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Walking\r\nBecause so many of us slave away in offices for a third of our days, we also spend a lot of time sitting down, barely moving, and this endless sitting has all kinds of deleterious effects throughout our body, from reducing our flexibility to making weight gain much more likely. Walking pads, especially when paired with standing desks, allow us to escape the seated position and move, getting much-needed exercise even while we’re being productive at our 9-to-5s. And if you’re consistent about it, you can easily double or even triple your average daily step count, effortlessly burning more calories each day and shrinking your waistline in the process.\r\nThe best walking pads are not only well made, with high weight tolerances, but also quiet, easy to store, and capable of offering multiple speed options or even the option to walk on an incline. Here are some of our favorite offerings on the market today:\r\nDeerRun Walking Pad (2025 Edition)\r\n\r\nWith a generous 300-pound weight capacity, whisper-quiet 2.5 HP motor capable of speeds of up to 3.8 miles per hour, and a one-touch remote to control everything, this is a do-all walking pad with a low enough profile to hide away under most couches or beds, making it a perfect home solution to boosting your step count.\r\n$189.99 at Amazon.com \r\nSperax Walking Pad\r\n\r\nWeighing just 27 pounds and standing just 3.5 inches tall, this is another great option for people who prize portability and stowability in their walking pads. This particular model also has a vibration mode, with four different intensity levels, to help you boost recovery after a long day at the office or strenuous walk.\r\n$209.99 at Amazon.com \r\nWALKINGPAD A1 Pro\r\n\r\nThe A1 Pro has been an Amazon bestseller for some time now, owing to its ultra-sturdy design (its maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds), fold-and-store convenience, and generous 47” by 16” walking surface, which helps taller people take full strides without issue. \r\n$599 at Amazon.com \r\nYagud Walking Pad\r\n\r\nIf you’re working with a tight budget and an even tighter space, you’ll appreciate this slim model from Yagud. Despite its smaller footprint and lightweight design, it still offers whisper-quiet operation and a generous 265-pound weight capacity, with a maximum speed of 3.8 miles per hour. There’s also practically no assembly: just unbox it and plug it in and you’re ready to … walk. \r\n$129.99 at Amazon.com \r\nMJWW Walking Pad\r\n\r\nAnother great budget option that regularly goes on sale for under $100, the MJWW Walking Pad weighs just 32 pounds, making it one of the lightest and therefore most portable models on the market, while it operates at a quiet 45 decibels, meaning you can use it morning or night without waking up the neighbors.\r\n$299 at Walmart.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Build a Home GymBest Treadmills for Home UseHow “Japanese Walking” Can Get You Fit", "keywords": "Best, Walking, Pads", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-walking-pads/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1757094390.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-walking-pads.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79670", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Ways to Fall For Your Spouse (Again!)", "title_slug": "5-ways-to-fall-for-your-spouse-again", "title_hash": "2e316244306ce97f85112ce8c1f600ab", "summary": "Try these 5 fall-inspired ways to reconnect—cozy rituals, date nights, gratitude traditions, playful fun, and intimacy.\nThe post 5 Ways to Fall For Your Spouse (Again!) appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Try these 5 fall-inspired ways to reconnect—cozy rituals, date nights, gratitude traditions, playful fun, and intimacy.

The post 5 Ways to Fall For Your Spouse (Again!) appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": ", Ways, Fall, For, Your, Spouse, Again", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "74", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/ChatGPT-Image-Sep-5-2025-08_55_48-AM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/5-ways-to-fall-for-your-spouse-again/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79669", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Seminar 2025", "title_slug": "sex-seminar-2025", "title_hash": "bc57fc1adc3b8499d88d394f71adc205", "summary": "AN Online Marriage CONFERENCE ABOUT SEXUAL INTIMACY 25 Video Classes for Couples Need sex advice? From the comfort & privacy of your own home, you can watch sex therapists & marriage experts teach lessons covering everything you ever wanted to know about sexual intimacy! From learning about desire discrepancies, to getting new foreplay ideas, from…\nThe post Sex Seminar 2025 appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

AN Online Marriage CONFERENCE ABOUT SEXUAL INTIMACY 25 Video Classes for Couples Need sex advice? From the comfort & privacy of your own home, you can watch sex therapists & marriage experts teach lessons covering everything you ever wanted to know about sexual intimacy! From learning about desire discrepancies, to getting new foreplay ideas, from…

The post Sex Seminar 2025 appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "Sex, Seminar, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "67", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Virtual-Sex-Seminar-2025.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/sex-seminar-2025/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:39:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79549", "lang_id": "1", "title": "James Trafford’s Quick Exit Plan: Why Man City’s New Signing Is Already Looking Away", "title_slug": "james-traffords-quick-exit-plan-why-man-citys-new-signing-is-already-looking-away", "title_hash": "1b5fb1d395ea39f4d98f2f625a0dc8cd", "summary": "James Trafford’s return to Manchester City is already raising questions as the competition for the starting goalkeeper’s job becomes intense. With Ederson potentially leaving and Gianluigi Donnarumma rumoured to join the club, Trafford’s ambitions to become England’s first-choice goalkeeper could be seriously tested. This situation changes the dynamics of the City squad, affects career prospects, and opens up new opportunities for strategic betting. Ghanaian fans and punters at Melbet Ghana can use these insights to better predict City’s performances and find value in games where the goalkeeper plays a key role. James Trafford’s Manchester City Return Trafford’s return to Manchester City comes via a buy-back from Burnley after initially leaving for guaranteed first-team football. Guardiola’s long-term interest in the goalkeeper underscores City’s strategic planning, yet the potential arrival of Donnarumma complicates Trafford’s role. Understanding these dynamics helps Ghanaian online s", "content": "

James Trafford’s return to Manchester City is already raising questions as the competition for the starting goalkeeper’s job becomes intense. With Ederson potentially leaving and Gianluigi Donnarumma rumoured to join the club, Trafford’s ambitions to become England’s first-choice goalkeeper could be seriously tested. This situation changes the dynamics of the City squad, affects career prospects, and opens up new opportunities for strategic betting. Ghanaian fans and punters at Melbet Ghana can use these insights to better predict City’s performances and find value in games where the goalkeeper plays a key role. James Trafford’s Manchester City Return Trafford’s return to Manchester City comes via a buy-back from Burnley after initially leaving for guaranteed first-team football. Guardiola’s long-term interest in the goalkeeper underscores City’s strategic planning, yet the potential arrival of Donnarumma complicates Trafford’s role. Understanding these dynamics helps Ghanaian online sports bettors assess City’s defensive setup and squad depth. Transfer Details and Buy-Back Clause In 2023, James Trafford joined Burnley from Manchester City for €17.3 million, but the deal included a €40 million buyout clause. City are currently negotiating add-ons and interest on future transfers to make the deal as lucrative as possible and retain a reliable goalkeeper option for the […]

The post James Trafford’s Quick Exit Plan: Why Man City’s New Signing Is Already Looking Away appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "James, Trafford’s, Quick, Exit, Plan:, Why, Man, City’s, New, Signing, Already, Looking, Away", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "66", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/James1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/james-traffords-quick-exit-plan/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-08 09:33:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "79258", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Research On Pregnancy-Safe Medications, Already Scarce, Could Soon Dwindle", "title_slug": "why-research-on-pregnancy-safe-medications-already-scarce-could-soon-dwindle", "title_hash": "843d588da95602cb9f51ef08dde58d28", "summary": "\"Removing or reducing ongoing investments in healthy pregnancies poses a danger to much-needed efforts to reduce excessive rates of stillbirths as well as infant and maternal deaths.\"\nThe post Why Research On Pregnancy-Safe Medications, Already Scarce, Could Soon Dwindle appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

A panel convened in July 2025 by the Food and Drug Administration sparked controversy by casting doubt about the safety of commonly used antidepressants during pregnancy. But it also raised the broader issue of how little is known about the safety of many medications used in pregnancy, considering the implications for both mother and child—and how understudied this topic is.

In the U.S., the average pregnant patient takes four prescription medications, and more than 9 in 10 patients take at least one. But most drugs lack conclusive evidence about their safety during pregnancy. About 1 in 5 women uses a medication during pregnancy that has some preliminary evidence that it could cause harm but for which conclusive studies are missing.

We are researchers in maternal and child health who evaluate the safety of medications during pregnancy. In our work, we identify medications that might raise the risk for birth defects or pregnancy loss and compare the safety of different treatments.

While progress has been slow, researchers and federal agencies have built monitoring systems, databases and tools to accelerate our understanding of medication safety. However, these efforts are now at risk due to ongoing cuts to medical research funding—and with them, so is the knowledge base for determining whether sticking with a therapy or discontinuing it offers the safest choice for both mother and child.

How pregnant women got sidelined

One big reason why so little is known about the effects of medications during pregnancy stretches back more than half a century. In the 1960s, a drug called thalidomide that was widely prescribed to treat morning sickness in pregnant women caused severe birth defects in over 10,000 children around the world. In response, in 1977 the FDA recommended excluding women of childbearing age from participating in early stage clinical trials testing new medications.

Ethically, there is long-standing tension between concerns about fetal harm and maternal needs. Legal liability and added complexities when conducting studies in pregnant women serve as additional barriers for drug manufacturers.

When drugs are approved, studies about whether they might cause birth defects are typically done only in animals, and they often don’t translate well to humans. So when a new medication comes on the market, nothing is known about how it affects people during pregnancy. Even if animal studies or the medication’s mode of action raised concerns, the drug can still be approved, though companies may be required to conduct studies observing its effects when taken during pregnancy.

Cause and effect

Of 290 drugs approved by the FDA between 2010 and 2019, 90 percent contain no human data on the risks or benefits for pregnant patients. About 80 percent of some 1,800 medications in a national database called TERIS, which summarizes evidence on medications’ risks during pregnancy, lack or have limited evidence about the risks for birth defects. Researchers have estimated that it takes 27 years to pin down whether a medication is safe to use in pregnancy.

As a result, many pregnant women stop treating their chronic diseases. In a U.S. study published in 2023, over one-third of women stopped taking a medication during pregnancy, and 36.5 percent of those did so without advice from a health-care provider. More than half cited concerns about birth or developmental defects as the reason.

Yet uncontrolled chronic disease comes with its own toll on both the mother’s and the baby’s health. For example, some medications used to treat seizures are known to cause birth defects, but stopping them may increase seizures, which themselves raise the risk of fetal death.

Women with severe or recurrent depression who abruptly stop their antidepressants risk their depression returning, which is in turn associated with increased risk of substance use, inadequate prenatal care, and other negative effects on fetal development. Stopping the use of medications for treating high blood pressure also causes adverse effects—specifically, a greater risk of pregnancy-related high blood pressure that can cause organ damage, called preeclampsia; a condition called placental abruption, when the placenta detaches from the wall of the uterus too early; preterm birth; and fetal growth restriction. An online resource called Mother to Baby, created by a network of experts on birth defects, provides an excellent summary of the available data on medication safety during pregnancy.

The FDA in some cases requires drug companies to establish registries to track the outcomes of pregnancies exposed to certain medications. These registries can be useful, but they have shortcomings. For example, recruiting pregnant patients into them takes time and considerable effort, resulting in small sample sizes that may not capture rare birth defects. Also, registries typically follow a single medication and rarely include comparisons to alternative treatment approaches—or to no treatment.

What’s more, following the 2022 Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization Supreme Court decision overturning the constitutional right to abortion, women might be reluctant to add their names to a pregnancy registry or to provide data on prenatal detection of birth defects due to concerns about privacy and legal risks.

Decades of underfunding

In 2019, a task force established by the 21st Century Cures Act identified a major gap in knowledge about drug safety and effectiveness in pregnant and lactating women and recommended a boost in funding to fill it.

However, little has changed. A 2025 review by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine pointed out that research funding for women’s health topics has remained flat over the past decade, while the overall budget of the National Institutes of Health has steadily increased. The review recommended doubling the NIH funding allocated for such research, but this seems unlikely in light of the recent proposals to cut the overall NIH budget by 40 percent.

The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development funds the bulk of research on the safety of medications during pregnancy across federal agencies, although the institute has an appreciably smaller budget than most of its sister institutes such as the National Cancer Institute. Grants awarded are typically broad and take four to five years to complete, but they allow the more comprehensive assessments that are needed to support informed decisions considering outcomes for mother and child. For example, NIH-funded researchers have established a clear link between autism and prenatal use of valproate, a potent teratogen used to treat epilepsy and several mental health disorders.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention as well as the FDA have also funded specific pregnancy-related research. For example, following the COVID-19 epidemic, the CDC renewed its funding for studies that help expedite pregnancy safety studies for treatments that might be used for newly emerging infections. In response to emerging concerns about a substance called gadolinium, which is often used during MRI procedures, the FDA funded our own work on a study of almost 6,000 pregnant women, which found no elevated risk.

For healthy pregnancies, more research is critical

These efforts have laid a crucial foundation for evaluating medication safety and effectiveness during pregnancy. But keeping pace with the release of new medications and new ways they are used, as well as addressing the backlog of missing evidence for medications that were approved in the past millennium, remain a challenge.

Recent terminations of NIH-funded studies have focused on topics presumably relating to diversity, equity, and inclusion. But research on safe and healthy pregnancies and on maternal health—for example, on the safety of COVID-19 vaccines during breastfeeding—has been affected as well.

The NIH has scaled back new grant awards by nearly $5 billion since the beginning of 2025, and the odds for receiving NIH funding have plummeted. Proposed sweeping budget cuts for the CDC and FDA leave their role in supporting research on healthy pregnancies similarly uncertain.

In our view, removing or reducing ongoing investments in healthy pregnancies poses a danger to much-needed efforts to reduce excessive rates of stillbirths as well as infant and maternal deaths. $\"The$

The post Why Research On Pregnancy-Safe Medications, Already Scarce, Could Soon Dwindle appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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For three hours on the third Wednesday of every month, members of the Living Lesbian Archive (LLA) convene at Henrietta Hudson, a historic lesbian bar in New York City’s West Village neighborhood, to create a monthly zine by the same name. The space is dedicated to Black lesbians, bringing together creatives from all over the city. LLA members decide on conceptual designs for each zine page and deliberately select materials.

As they carefully cut out magazine and newspaper clippings, layered and pasted on top of bright construction paper, the magazine designers funnel their personal and political realities into the Living Lesbian Archive zine. Topped off with glitter ink and garnished with vivid stickers, the zine—a mini-magazine booklet—has a corporeal and naturally grounding value to it.

The group pulls from a vast stash of collage and scrapbook supplies to tie their creations together. When the draft of that month’s zine is ready, Living Lesbian Archive co-founder Tajh Martin scans and digitizes it. Martin then finalizes the layout at home using InDesign, prints the zines through Mixam, and sells them on the group’s website, LivingLesbianArchive.com, for $5 each.

For nearly a year, Living Lesbian Archive has been publishing its zines as a way to anchor New York’s Black lesbian community. The mini magazines are distributed in person and online among members of LLA’s ever-expanding community, mainly through word of mouth. Now, Living Lesbian Archive is following Martin on their move to Atlanta, a historically queer Black city.

“To be Black, and to be queer, and to live in Atlanta is the goal for a lot of people. It is a safe space,” said Martin, who describes the city as a “Black queer Mecca.”

LLA’s new Atlanta chapter will collaborate with its New York City branch to publish a product more reflective of lesbian communities outside the Northeast.

A zine is born

Living Lesbian Archive, and its namesake zine, were born one sweaty Wednesday night at The Woods—a quintessential Brooklyn hotspot for sapphic party-goers.

A 21-year-old Columbia student living in Manhattan in 2024, Martin was finding their own community when they met their best friend and co-founder Elysia Colón at a pregame for the classic Wednesday party. The nexus between the packed courtyard, humid with sweat and tension, and the blindingly-loud indoor disco ball is a haven to some and a community to others.

For Martin, it was a wake-up call. They realized how few spaces reflect Black queer experiences.

“Elly and I were best friends,” Martin said. “And we felt like we were each other’s only Black lesbian community. And we were like, ‘This has to change.’”

Inspired by scrapbooking, a Caribbean music class, and Youtubers like BrattyxBre, Martin suggested a zine as a portal to build community. And Living Lesbian Archive was born.

“There are tons of queer spaces in New York, there’s tons, but not a lot of them focus on record-keeping,” Martin said.

The duo published the first issue, which was untitled, in November 2024. The cover was made with bright yellow construction paper with stripes of jellyfish Washi tape running vertically down the left side. After it was produced, the pair decided that setting a monthly theme for future zines would tie the project together and set a certain tone.

The first edition introduced Living Lesbian Archive, mostly drawing in friends and mutual acquaintances. The news of a new project buzzed around the New York City queer community, making a handful of sales online—and as it circulated around Martin’s social media, LLA started garnering hundreds of online views.

The next issue—Martin’s personal favorite—was titled “Chosen Family.” Published in December 2024, the zine highlighted the importance of queer found family and community-building.

They noticed the group’s growth as each zine was advertised and shared on social media. In the ten months since Martin and Colón started Living Lesbian Archive, the organization has gained over 3,000 followers on social media and published seven issues of their hand-crafted zines. In the last 90 days, Martin said LLA’s Instagram following has risen 40 percent.

Its reach spread internationally, too. Martin recalled receiving direct messages from readers in France and Germany, prompting a moment of surprise and pride.

“I still can’t fathom that this is more than just me and my friends,” said Martin, who is now filling about five online orders—from consumers in the U.S. and across the world—each month.

“Elly and I started LLA because we only had each other and now, through this specifically, I have made real genuine friends, people who I talk to, people who I confide in. And I think they found that for each other as well.”

Martin describes the archive as community first, zine second. In the New York chapter, an average of 10-15 members attend each month’s zine-making meeting. Sales from the finalized zines go directly back into replenishing supplies for the organization and reimbursing Martin for out-of-pocket expenses.

“I want a record of what we’re doing at this time, especially documenting our stories while we’re happy,” Martin said. “I feel like a lot of Black queer media is pretty sad, and I want to keep a record of other emotions that we have.”

‘The literature of marginalized communities’

In a world of digital stories and artificially-generated photos, physical artifacts that document Black queer life are a kind of protest against the erasure of marginalized communities.

“With the abundance of different types of media and with the abundance of tools that creators have at their disposal, I think zines in particular are coming back because there’s something physical. They’re purely original,” said Anthony LaBat, a collections and archives processing associate at the University of Missouri, Kansas City.

“You don’t have to set up a subscription or a Patreon or a Squarespace or anything else like that to actually make your zine and get it out to people,” he added.

The self-published magazines came with the invention of copy machines in the 1930s. As copy shops and machines became commercially available, the DIY-style of zines grew more popular in the 1960s. In the 1990s, zines were a primary reference point for punk and hardcore music reviews and DIY bands finding their footing on the fringes.

Zines have seen a growing resurgence since the 2000s, as the digital media market has become increasingly oversaturated, according to LaBat, who has been archiving zines for more than ten years. As an archivist for a library whose collections date back to the ‘70s, LaBat said that zine-making was always about the underdogs.

Creating physical zines requires community gathering, handiwork, and prints that live on indefinitely.

“Zines are the medium, the literature of marginalized communities,” LaBat said. “Zines were created and have kind of proliferated in the underground because they are an avenue of pure expression. There is nothing in between you and your audience.”

He pointed to older publications like The Advocate and The Ladder, as well as Vice Versa, the first lesbian zine—launched in 1947 as “America’s Gayest Magazine.” Many of these underground publications, LaBat said, were crucial points of access for the queer community.

At the time, some of these magazines were the only reference point for accurate information about the HIV crisis, being that major media outlets had become untrustworthy and fearmongering.

Digital ownership has paved the path for a lack of control over the media many people consume, with licensing issues, censorship, and a complete loss of access to many versions of music, books, and movies.

“Many archives only exist because of what people have decided is valuable enough to keep,” LaBat, a dreary reminder that all media, paper trail or not, can easily be obscured.

In this way, LLA’s zines recall the kind of archival work underway at the Lesbian Herstory Archives, an archival museum that collects sapphic history artifacts dating back to the 1970s. They’re all projects dedicated to documenting real life experiences not documented elsewhere.

How archiving can heal

While Martin is eager to expand the organization into Atlanta, they emphasize that the new chapter will stay true to its original values—tight-knit and scrappy. They’re now focusing on selling more zines, expanding Living Lesbian Archive’s reach, and solidifying a new community in Atlanta. More than anything, though, Martin hopes the zine will become a household name among archives, much like the Lesbian Herstory Archives.

It’s about more than legacy, Martin said—it’s about preserving a true, complete record of this particularly fraught moment in history.

“Elly and I would always talk about how LLA is inherently political, because community building is exactly antagonistic to what the [Trump] administration wants,” Martin said. “They don’t want us to come together, and they want to erase our stories. And I feel like this is our way of fighting against that.”’

That community became increasingly important when Colón died suddenly in January 2025.

Colón’s impact and loss reverberated through the group. They honored Colón with an altar, flowers, photos—and a special edition of the zine the same month, titled “New Beginnings.” It featured poems by members, photographs of friends, and letters in memory of the late LLA co-founder.

As time passed, Living Lesbian Archive continued guiding the community in processing this monumental loss. The fourth issue, titled “All About Love,” was printed in February 2025. The first page spread features a simple magazine cutout spelling “Elly,” followed by a scrawled message of gratitude: “Thank you for giving me and all of us somewhere to belong.”

LLA has created a space for members to process heartbreak, hope, and belonging, all while documenting it.

And that’s what record-keeping, in whatever form, is all about, said LaBat.

“The importance of maintaining archives as a record of history is so much more important now, because there are a lot of people in power who like to create the truth to suit their own agendas,” LaBat said. “With the archives, it’s hard to do that, because the material doesn’t really lie. It just is. It’s just there.”

It’s not just about fighting to record the current moment, Martin said, it’s also about honoring the past.

Martin and their co-creators honored Juneteenth and Pride month in a particularly lively June issue, titled “Prideteenth.” The June zine featured snippets of Pride culture in New York City, like visuals of Wednesday nights out, and cutouts of West Village essential summer bars, as well as an announcement of LLA’s expansion into Atlanta—topped off with a picture of a U-Haul.

Building a multi-city community

In August, Martin hosted the first meeting of Living Lesbian Archive’s new Atlanta chapter. With community members having met in Atlanta and New York City to construct the issue from scratch, the August zine, following the theme of Black August, is on its way to publication. Digitized and designed in coordination, Living Lesbian Archive now operates in two major cities.

Martin said they hope this expansion will create a tangible record of the experiences of Black lesbians in America for decades to come—long after Google Drive, iCloud, and Meta have become obsolete.

“I want some little 22-year-old dyke to look at our zine ten years from now and be like, ‘Wow, this is really cool,’” Martin said. “That’s what I want. I want us to last.”

The post This Zine Is Creating Black Queer Community—In New York, Atlanta, And Beyond appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Medical providers are increasingly uncomfortable discussing and prescribing the full range of birth control options with their patients following the Supreme Court’s decision to end federal abortion protections in 2022.

A November 2024 study I co-authored in the journal Reproductive Health found that doctors, nurses, and other reproductive health providers feel particularly conflicted and nervous about inserting intrauterine devices (IUDs) and dispensing emergency contraception like Plan B—two contraceptive methods that anti-abortion advocates frequently misportray as being able to cause an abortion.

The study demonstrates how growing anti-abortion laws, policies, and activism in the U.S. since Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization are having spillover effects on contraceptive care. These findings come at a time when ever more people are relying on contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy—particularly long-lasting forms like the IUD and permanent contraceptive methods like tubal ligation—especially in states that ban abortion.

Meanwhile, the Trump administration is finding new ways to exert control over people’s reproductive rights, from slashing government-funded research on reproductive health to cutting both national and global funding to cover contraceptive care for low-income communities.

All of these changes have cascading effects. The ongoing attacks on reproductive rights trickle down into our lives and daily interactions—including with the people who provide our reproductive health care.

Providers feel ‘stressed and alarmed’

Patients aren’t the only ones harmed by today’s confusing and ambiguous reproductive health-care landscape after Dobbs was decided, our study found. The current pressure and politicization of their work is damaging to providers’ mental wellbeing, too.

In our qualitative study conducted from 2022 to 2024, we asked 41 providers across the U.S. how the Supreme Court’s decision to remove federal abortion protections in Dobbs had shaped their psychological experiences and their care delivery. Those interviewed included doctors, physician assistants, nurses and nurse practitioners, as well as educators who discuss and prescribe birth control.

Providers reported feeling stressed and alarmed about the potential legal repercussions of providing reproductive health care and counseling patients with a full range of options. Many expressed a sense of moral injury—that is, they felt forced to practice medicine in a way that violated their values and could cause life-altering outcomes for their patients, such as carrying an unwanted or risky pregnancy to term.

“I feel limited. I feel hurt. I feel powerless. I feel angry with the decision,” one physician from a state that restricts abortion told us in an interview for the research, referring to Dobbs and its fallout.

All the providers interviewed in the study, and consequently in this article, are cited anonymously to comply with the terms of the interviews, which were originally conducted for academic research.

“I feel like I can’t advocate for the patients I want to advocate for,” the same doctor said. “I feel like I have to … be very careful with the care I provide, and the words I say, and what I document.”

This chilling effect can cause providers in abortion-ban states to restrain themselves beyond what state restrictions require to avoid any risk of having their licenses revoked or facing legal troubles. That’s true for providers in states where abortion remains accessible, too, because they fear being legally pursued across state lines.

Junk science clutters the conversation

Suddenly, there are new grey areas in their medical practice.

Providers are targets for legislators and zealots who use junk science to argue that using emergency contraception or an IUD is the same as receiving abortion care. This is not true: emergency contraception prevents pregnancy from occurring; it does not cause abortion.

In many states, restrictions on abortion are unclear about how early into a pregnancy providing emergency contraception would be considered an abortion. This has caused some providers to be hesitant toward providing patients with emergency contraceptive methods, especially IUDs.

One nurse practitioner from a restrictive state told our research team, “I do feel like I am a little more stressed and worried about repercussions or that I am going to do the wrong thing or get in trouble for putting in an IUD. There are some doctors that I am working with who have started doing [blood tests] instead of just a urine [test] to prove that they weren’t pregnant before they put in an IUD and those kinds of things.”

On the other hand, numerous providers said they remained committed to giving their patients the health care they need. And what patients have increasingly said they need is long-acting contraception.

This, too, has some providers concerned. They worry that the urgency many of their patients feel could lead providers to offer more coercive advice that pushes patients toward longer-acting contraception like IUDs and implants over shorter-acting methods that some patients might prefer. With reproductive rights disappearing by the day, providers and patients are putting pressure on contraception as the solution.

And that’s made navigating these important conversations tricky.

“I do find myself feeling a little bit more fearful when a patient does leave without birth control and they don’t want to get pregnant,” one nurse practitioner, who provides care in a state that restricts abortion, told the research team. “I don’t know that it’s changed my counseling practices in general, but I feel like it’s changed the way I feel about birth control in that it’s allowed me to feel a little bit more biased because I am putting my fear on them subconsciously, I think.”

No ‘magic solution’ to abortion restrictions

This research was completed before Trump won a second term in office. Today, even some of the remaining options for preserving reproductive autonomy—such as affordable contraception and gender-affirming care—are under attack. The burden of any future restrictions on contraception will almost surely fall on communities of color and other systemically-oppressed groups, just as post-Dobbs abortion restrictions have.

Here’s the conclusion our study has left me with: Contraceptive care is not the magic solution to abortion restrictions. Yet without policies that protect reproductive rights and in the face of blatant attacks on affordable health care, fair, affordable, and reliable contraceptive access for all is an essential tool.

Providers deserve to feel safe when delivering this kind of care, and patients deserve the information and tools they need to make reproductive decisions that best suit them, unfettered by government interference.

The post Abortion Bans Can Make Birth Control A Tricky Topic for Medical Providers—Study appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In March, ChiAurelia Spencer started sketching out her 13-year-old daughter’s summer. She had four options: Should she pay for a pricey dance camp, fly her to Texas to stay with family, enroll her in summer school, or leave her home alone?

For Spencer, each choice carried a cost for her family, from paying for summer programs and finding Black-led ones, to stretching her budget to cover basics like food and activities.

Navigating child care during the summer for many Black families, including Spencer’s, has become increasingly difficult as child-care costs soar and affirming options for Black youth remain scarce. Summer child care is notoriously difficult to piece together, but for Black families, who also spend a larger percentage of their income on child care, it is even more difficult. When affordable and culturally-sensitive camps are available, they offer far more than playtime: They can serve as community anchors for connection and support.

“As a parent, being able to give my daughter the experiences that I had at camp growing up while being in the forest, singing those camp songs, doing talent shows, or learning how to make s’mores, and designed for melanated youth, was what I always wanted,” Spencer said.

When Spencer began her search for summer camps in her area of Oakland and around Northern California, she found enough programs to keep her daughter busy until school started, but before booking the activities, she realized that she would pay close to $1,100 for summer child care—something she knew wouldn’t be feasible for her family.

She and her daughter went back to the drawing board. They ultimately blended their options to create a child-care plan that works for them, allowing her daughter to stay home alone some days, spend time with family and friends on others, and enjoy an affordable weekend summer camp, Camp Legacy, led by two Black women. This patchwork of care was not unique; it was how many Black families got through this summer with child care.

While the cost of programs depends largely on the location and quality, on average, summer camp tuition in the United States is around $73 to $87 a day for day camp, with sleep-away camp tuition at about $150 to $173 a day, according to the American Camp Association (ACA), a nonprofit for camp owners, professionals, and summer camp programs. That price only increases for families that have more than one child.

The cost of summer camp is only increasing. In 2024, the ACA, found that camp providers increased their prices by 23 percent compared to 2023, largely driven by inflation. With camp costs on the rise, many parents in 2024 decided to either put their children in fewer, only one, or no summer activities that provided opportunities to learn or refine academic, athletic, creative, social, or other skills.

Experts like Jocelyn Frye, the president of the National Partnership for Women and Families, an organization that advocates for family policies, know how unaffordable child care can be a stressor for Black families.

“If you have a high number of moms who are working, then you’re going to need access to care and if you’re asking them to spend almost half their income on childcare, that’s going to not only put pressure on the entire family economically, but it’s going to make it harder for them to afford that care to begin with.”

Many Black parents like Spencer establish two main criteria while looking for summer child care: affordability and an affirming space for Black youth. Often, they have difficulty securing the type of care they believe will work best for their families, forcing them to either compromise on cost or camp experiences, and to piece summer child-care plans together.

As a mother of two, Yasmina White started planning child care for her 11-year-old and 5-year-old daughters in January, as she expected to use a combination of care while school was out, by leaning on family and paying for summer camp.

For her oldest daughter, White turned to Don’t Miss a Beat, Inc., a summer program in Jacksonville, Florida, that blends musical theater with community engagement. At $40 a week, the camp—which is subsidized by donors, the state, and the city—offers affordable child care and a culturally-affirming space for Black youth.

But she faced more challenges in finding camps for her 5-year-old. White found her daughter was ineligible for many affordable, city-run summer programs in Jacksonville because she wouldn’t be considered a public school student until starting kindergarten in August. With few other options, she pieced together care by keeping her daughter home during her hybrid work schedule and turning to her mother for help on other days until school started.

Frye said Black families often have to cobble care together by relying on free or affordable community-based organizations, church programs, relatives, and in some cases, leaving children at home alone or for older siblings to care for younger siblings.

“In the absence of a sound and solid investment in access to affordable child care, families are often caught in a bind, and that’s particularly true for Black families who are going to have both greater need and often fewer resources to address the need,” Frye said.

As a single, working mom who is the primary caregiver, White is no stranger to that juggling act.

“I don’t want to burden anyone, so I just try to make it work the best way that I can,” White said.

The summer child care squeeze

Cost is typically a dealbreaker for summer child-care options, especially when the price of camps continues to rise.

When the average parent spends 22 percent of their income and another 29 percent of their savings to afford child care, according to Care.com, families are squeezed tight. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) deems 7 percent of family income as the benchmark for affordable child care.

Spending a large portion of income on child care is a financial strain for any family, but especially for Black single parents during the summer. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, Black families with two children spent roughly 56 percent of their annual income on child care, the largest share of any other group. This data is the latest information on the affordability of child care for Black families from the Center for American Progress, a liberal think tank.

This pressure spills over into the summer, creates barriers, and largely determines how Black families make decisions about child care. One study found that nearly 7 in 10 Black families without a child in a summer program reported that they would enroll their child if a program were available to them, according to an Afterschool Alliance and Edge Research survey. The survey also found that cost, transportation, and lack of information on programs are the greatest barriers to participation for families; 36 percent of Black parents stated that cost was their primary reason for not enrolling their kids in summer camps.

As a mother of four and the sole breadwinner of her household, Whitney Givens knows how summer can financially strain a family. While her oldest son no longer lives at home, this year she organized summer child-care plans for her two middle sons and her youngest daughter.

Her teenagers were more independent and had straightforward plans: Her 16-year-old son was busy at an all-day football camp throughout the summer, while her 14-year-old son chose to stay home alone this summer and spend some days working with his dad at his car detailing company.

But her youngest was only 6, and planning for her required more finesse. When it came to stitching together her daughter’s summer care, cost was the thread running through every decision.

“Summer camp prices are very expensive right now, so I had to really do some shopping around before I made my decision about my daughter’s child care,” Givens said.

As a dental assistant in Charlotte, North Carolina, Givens in years past had a plan mapped out for her family’s summer, but this year she did not qualify for a state voucher that would have covered her daughter’s child care. She instead enrolled her in a Black-led summer program that cost $160 for three days a week. Her daughter went to work with Givens on the other days of the week.

“My job is very open to children coming there; we have another kid that comes there after school and waits for his mom to get off,” said Givens. “Now my daughter knows the doctors and everyone else who works there. I pack her coloring books, worksheets, a tablet and snacks to keep her occupied during the day, so I try to make it fun for her while she is there.”

With 69 percent of Black mothers as breadwinners for their families, according to a 2023 analysis from the Center for American Progress, the majority of the financial decisions weigh on their income.

“Because their work is so integral to the economic stability of their family overall, then they’re going to need support when it comes to their kids, so that’s where access to affordable child care becomes so important because Black women often have had the highest labor force participation amongst all women,” Frye said.

When parents do find a camp that fits their child-care needs, it provides more opportunities for their family.

Camps as anchors of culture and community

Reagan Fresnel and Brian Wright started their summer camp to create a safe space for Black youth to learn and experience Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs).

Camp HBCYouth, an academic day camp building a pipeline of young Black learners to HBCU students, began three years ago in Atlanta.

“We’re bridging the gap between our HBCUs and the immediate communities that surround them by hosting students during these critical summer months,” Fresnel said. “This is the place where children have a safe space to learn about themselves, their HBCU culture, and hopefully envision themselves one day even attending that college.”

Fresnel views summer months as a critical time for kids because of the threat of an academic slide and families experiencing food insecurity, which is why Camp HBCYouth is built on the foundation of literacy and ensures each camper is fed breakfast, lunch, and an afternoon snack.

Currently, Camp HBCYouth serves mostly Black families and operates its seven-week camp at four HBCUs: Morehouse College, Tennessee State University, Clark Atlanta University, and Spelman College.

“From the lesson plans that they are learning that are sensitive to not just their age, but their culture to the space that we create, it is a constantly reaffirming, grounded space for the students,” Fresnel said.

Serving more than 400 kids this summer, Camp HBCYouth establishes their relationship in each community by having Black camp counselors, leadership, and mentors that support the safety and well-being of Black youth.

Camp HBCYouth charges parents between $50 to $70 a day for camp, making it slightly more affordable than the national average. They also offer a sliding-scale fee for camp costs and provide before care for parents who need to drop kids off before camp begins at 10 a.m. and after care for kids who need to be picked up after camp ends at 3 p.m.

“We believe that summer camp is the perfect avenue when school is out,” Fresnel said. “Where do parents send their children? Where is a safe space where they can learn when school is out and parents can still go to work? Camp is the answer to help solve some of these needs in our community or alleviate other issues that might be happening at home during the summer months.”

Other Black-led summer programs are working to provide families with a similar experience, like Camp Legacy, an overnight, weekend summer camp in California built to expose Black youth to the outdoors.

Twin sisters Alex and Angelica Young started their summer program three years ago to provide Black families with a camp they wished they had when growing up.

“We know that a lot of Black youths’ access to the outdoors is limited due to historical barriers, racial barriers, and the way people market their camps,” Angelica said. “Because we know the benefits of summer camp and the limited access to it, we want to be a small piece of the puzzle to getting more Black youth into the summer camp experience and having that be a part of the Black community’s experience.”

While Camp Legacy mostly serves Black youth in Oakland, they also extend their camp experience to families from around the state.

This year, the Young sisters shuttled 42 young Black fourth-through eighth-graders to Santa Cruz, California, where they arrived to an all-Black camp staff, among other Black kids.

“We really like to organically build community, safety, and comfort,” Alex said. “A lot of that has to do with our staff training, by telling them that this space is for Black joy.”

At $65 for the weekend, Camp Legacy uses grants and outside funding to pick up 75 percent of the cost for families to enroll children at a more affordable rate. This covers lodging, meals, camp swag, and transportation for the entire weekend.

“We want to lower the barriers of coming to camp by allowing people to understand how important it is to be a part of this community, the summer camp community,” Angelica said. “We are always asking ourselves how we make sure parents understand what camp is and how affordable it can be if they’re willing to invest in it.”

This year, Camp Legacy saw three campers return for their weekend summer program, one of whom was Spencer’s daughter.

“From the first time she went to the camp, she did not stop talking about it from the moment she got home until the next year when it was time to apply for camp again,” Spencer said. “She was on me and asking, ‘Hey, did you remember that camp applications are coming out? Please don’t forget to apply so that I can go.’”

Spencer wanted to send her daughter to Camp Legacy to afford her the opportunity of summer camp like she had as a kid.

After camp last year, Spencer’s daughter came home with a new friend. They stayed connected throughout the year and both attended Camp Legacy again this June. Their friendship has blossomed into a community for the Spencer family that often looks like supporting the friend’s child care plans, hangouts, and sleepovers.

“Being able to be in spaces where you are understood, feel seen, feel like you can absolutely be yourself, and not have to hide any parts of you is so important,” said Spencer.

The post This Summer, Parents Stitched Together Child Care To Give Their Kids a ‘Space for Black Joy’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Briana Drummer, a 33-year-old New Yorker, had just left everything she had behind in her Brooklyn home to escape domestic violence when she found out she was pregnant.

“I left my home and my belongings and just took what I could in a bag. I just said, ‘My life is more important than all my things,’” she said. “This is my first child. So first, I was anxious. I was really worried.”

Drummer moved to a family shelter and soon sought prenatal care at a local hospital, where physicians told her about New York City’s guaranteed income program, the Bridge Project, that provides cash payments to a number of mothers for the first three years of the baby’s life.

“It’s just a very dark hole I would have seen myself in without the Bridge Project payments,” Drummer said.

The program is one of dozens that have begun rolling out in recent years in places like New York and California to help offset soaring costs of living. Parenthood is becoming increasingly expensive, as prices for basic baby products rise and child-care costs present a growing burden for working families. Throw in stagnant wages, inflation, tariffs, and price hikes, and building a family has effectively become too expensive for many Americans.

The Bridge Project gives up to $1,000 unconditionally each month to accepted program participants. Applicants must be legal U.S. residents experiencing housing instability, 18 years or older, 23 to 40 weeks pregnant, and make less than $52,000 annually. Guaranteed income programs in the city were approved in July 2025 for $3 million in funding by the city council, of which the Bridge Project received $1.5 million. (The project was initially funded in 2021 by private philanthropy.)

“It was a beautiful way to help me transition into motherhood without the stress of not being financially stable enough to get the things that I needed for a newborn child,” Drummer said, adding, “I probably wouldn’t have been able to do it” without help.

Over on the West Coast, Contra Costa County, a metropolitan region outside of San Francisco, has an 8 percent poverty rate, which rises to 10 percent for those under the age of 18. The county approved its first pilot of a guaranteed income program in July 2025. To qualify, applicants must be enrolled in county-sponsored programs and fall under one of four categories: parents to young children who are experiencing financial hardship, youth transitioning out of foster care, low-income seniors, and formerly incarcerated individuals.

Both programs focus on targeted communities in need of economic support, offering unconditional cash payments for a specific amount of time.

“There are moments of financial fragility that we can pinpoint where guaranteed income might change the outcome a few years down the road,” said Stacia West, the founding director for the Center for Guaranteed Income Research, a research center at the University of Pennsylvania that studies unconditional payment programs.

Research has repeatedly found that financial wellness in a child’s early years plays a key social factor in their future health, development, education, and earnings.

“What we have done in this country is trap lower-income people into scarcity such that they have to be preoccupied with survival and unable to kind of reach for a different future,” West said.

“We have a lot of data to indicate that no one budgets better than a poor woman with children,” she added. “No one makes better financial decisions and is more aware of her budget than a mom that is trying to make ends meet.”

But people in low-earning jobs can’t budget their way out of poverty.

The unconditional payments allowed recipients to spend on what needs are most vital to their family, according to a 2024 review of the Bridge Project’s results. For some families, that means it helps pay for the skyrocketing cost of housing, Bridge Project’s National Director of Programs Tegan Lecheler said. For the sister locations run by The Bridge Project in more rural areas, it helps with car payments or transportation costs. Some parents use it to pay for their leave, if their day job doesn’t provide it for them already.

“More cash equals more opportunities, more choices,” Lecheler said. “It means getting to live in a safer neighborhood. It means getting to choose to go back to work and put your child into child care, having access to more nutritional food for yourself and for your baby.”

“It really just allows moms flexibility and agency to know and to fill in any gaps that are keeping their family from thriving to the full extent that they could be,” she continued.

Multiple studies on targeted cash payment programs back the idea that guaranteed income programs lead to increased food security, enhanced physical and mental well-being, and improved financial health for guaranteed income recipients across the board.

The 2021 expanded federal Child Tax Credit, which has been estimated to have benefitted 88 percent of children in the U.S., led to one of the steepest declines in child poverty in the last two decades, according to the Center for Guaranteed Income Research.

The evidence is “unambiguous,” said Christopher Wimer, a co-director for the Center on Poverty and Social Policy at the Columbia University School of Social Work.

“It reduced people’s food insecurity and food hardship, and there’s some evidence that it improved the degree to which people were up on their housing payments,” Wilmer said. “A lot of people used it for food, bills, rent.”

These findings inspired California’s newest guaranteed income program, Contra Costa County Supervisor John Gioia told Rewire News Group.

In January 2026, 178 low-income people in Contra Costa County will participate in the 18-month cash payment pilot program.

Participants will be chosen through their enrollment in county-sponsored programs. The County Board of Supervisors unanimously approved the program on July 8, but it wasn’t without hesitation from some board members.

Critics of cash payment programs often say that cash payments would encourage people to leave their jobs and rely on the free money. But Wimer says that the available data don’t support those concerns.

He said cash payments have allowed some people to work a bit less, particularly those who may need to meet at-home family demands. But, he added, the funds have also enabled others to work more because they could afford transportation and day care—expensive challenges that keep some parents from full-time work.

Gioia, who led the charge alongside community advocates to launch the Contra Costa program, said skeptics should think about guaranteed income “as an investment in families that are working to improve their situation.”

“It’s an investment that saves us money down the road and increases the number of people who become civically engaged and thriving in our community,” he added.

After one year in the Bridge Program project, Drummer has graduated with her bachelor’s degree—in large part because of its guaranteed income payments, she said. The financial cushion gave her the space to raise her child in a safe environment, as well as embrace her passion for psychology and neuroscience in hopes of pursuing a future in mental health counseling.

She’s excited for her future.

“As a child that was in foster care, I don’t think much was expected of me,” she said, adding that the program helped her get to where she is today and that she hopes will give her child the kind of stability she lacked growing up.

“I have to become the role model I wanted in my life in order to be a great role model for my daughter,” Drummer said. “So it really pushed me to just be a better me, and made me realize that I am more than what I thought I am.”

The post Cash Payments Support New Parents as Costs of Living Soar appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"the$ Discover how to use playful “trouble frames” to create a flirtatious, engaging dynamic and turn a simple conversation into a compelling connection.

I just had a call with a mentorship client in which he’d opened a pair of girls in a bar with a very natural opinion opener but hadn’t been sure where to take it from there.

\n\n\n

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What feels natural in your twenties may feel…", "content": "Intimacy is not the same at every stage of life. What feels natural in your twenties may feel…", "keywords": "The, Best, Time, Day, for, Intimacy, Based, Your, Age", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "88", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/ChatGPT-Image-Sep-3-2025-01_02_22-AM-e1756847192196.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-best-time-of-day-for-intimacy-based-on-your-age/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-03 05:13:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "75895", "lang_id": "1", "title": "20 Pettiest Reasons Women Secretly Stop Talking to Men", "title_slug": "20-pettiest-reasons-women-secretly-stop-talking-to-men", "title_hash": "dd0040941c003005aaeeee8ffbb83c6a", "summary": "Not every story ends with heartbreak, betrayal, or a dramatic fight. Sometimes women walk away for the smallest,…", "content": "Not every story ends with heartbreak, betrayal, or a dramatic fight. Sometimes women walk away for the smallest,…", "keywords": ", Pettiest, Reasons, Women, Secretly, Stop, Talking, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "90", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/banana-e1756840936416.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/20-pettiest-reasons-women-secretly-stop-talking-to-men/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-03 05:13:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "75892", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Full-Zip Sweaters for Men", "title_slug": "best-full-zip-sweaters-for-men", "title_hash": "690bbe2f71a5ff3a7b5c28b27f631244", "summary": "Upgrade Your Fall Transitional Layering With These Full-zip Sweaters", "content": "When fall finally rolls into town, bringing with it a welcome reprieve from the heat and the occasional (or more than occasional) breezy, blustery day, you need a full toolbox of men’s style essentials at your disposal. Sure, that includes a trusty trench coat and handy rain boots, but look to variety and versatility with the rest of your #OOTD: The best full-zip sweaters are a remixed version of the style you wore through the winter, with just as much form and function in the mix.\r\nA full-zip sweater is a visual swerve from a crewneck or V-neck sweater, but works just as well in the same scenarios (at the office, out on a weekend park stroll or imbibing a happy hour Old Fashioned, for instance). It’s less formal than, say, a V-neck sweater, but not as rugged as the shawl collar cardigan: It’s assuredly another tool in your style toolkit this fall, and it’s also more polished than a hoodie.\r\nThe best full-zip sweaters aren’t quite jacket-weight, nor are they as lightweight as a linen cardigan — again, it’s a handy option when you want a slight departure from the norm. They can function as a grab-and-go layer atop a graphic tee or henley, but we say you should feel free to wear it with a crisp Oxford shirt at your 9-to-5 (or on your next Zoom call).\r\nRELATED: Best Leather Bomber Jackets for Men\r\nUsually featuring stretch fabric and a few useful pockets, a full-zip sweater is also a reliable travel style move. Sold on another fall sweater? Here are some favorites to consider ASAP.\r\nTodd Snyder Beachwood Full-Zip Sweater\r\n\r\nFull-zip sweaters have both an easygoing sensibility and a touch of utility. Throw on one at home and you're ready for your next virtual meeting, or wear one as a layer beneath a blazer for an evening outing. Find one that can do both, and that’s all the better — Todd Snyder has you covered with a refined take on the style, complete with a comfortable 100% cotton fabric. The set-in sleeves should hold their shape over time, while the two-way zipper provides customized fit options.\r\n$460 at ToddSnyder.com\r\n\r\nBuck Mason Heritage Wool Zip Cardigan\r\n\r\nInspired by the good looks of the standard issue uniform of WWII-era USAAF solders, this cardigan looks more like a bomber jacket than a sweater, but the midweight merino wool and compact structure make it cool whether you wear it as a standalone or a layer. And with fall's fluctuating temperatures, that kind of versatility is priceless.\r\n$248 at BuckMason.com\r\nPendleton Shetland Wool Full Zip Sweater\r\n\r\nIn need of supreme warmth for your next fall ensemble? Translate your trusty wool sweater for winter into a dependable full-zip option for fall, and rest easy knowing Pendleton makes some of the best sweaters on the planet. This textured full-zip has a bit of throwback appeal, the sort of sweater you could easily see fitting in at a Western lodge after a long day in the field. In the meantime, it looks every bit as cool for weekend style back home alongside dark blue jeans.\r\nFrom $85.65 at Amazon.com \r\nAmazon Essentials Full-Zip Fleece Jacket\r\n\r\nYour favorite fleece half or quarter-zip sweater gets a slight upgrade, and at a highly affordable price via Amazon. Sometimes, you want a reliable full-zip sweater you can throw on for ultra-casual situations, all the while retaining warmth and comfort — this fleece jacket is the right move, and it comes in a vast array of colors and sizes. Of course, it’s also priced under $30.\r\nFrom $28.41 at Amazon.com \r\nIcebreaker Merino Full-Zip Athletic Sweater\r\n\r\nThe great thing about the best full-zip sweaters is the versatility of the style, especially when it comes to active pursuits. The front-zip design provides full coverage and yet mobility on the go, particularly as you hit the trail or pound the pavement on an early morning fall run. Icebreaker has a penchant for delivering highly functional pieces, as evidenced by the performance-focused merino wool, plus offset shoulder seams to reduce friction with other training layers.\r\nFrom $143.22 at Amazon.com \r\nSport-Tek Full-Zip Sweater Jacket\r\n\r\nQuality and comfort is the name of the game with this stretch-filled sweater jacket, complete with a simple stand-up collar and the sort of go-anywhere versatility you need when on the move. The simple gray color and front slash pockets provide easy going travel style and utility, while the sub-$45 price is practically unmatched as far as the best full-zip sweaters are concerned.\r\n$37.37 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Best Denim Jackets for MenThe Best Luxury Loungewear for MenBest Starter Watches", "keywords": "Best, Full-Zip, Sweaters, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-full-zip-sweaters-for-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1756844717.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-full-zip-sweaters-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-03 05:13:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "75893", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Guide to a Bigger Bench Press", "title_slug": "the-guide-to-a-bigger-bench-press", "title_hash": "eff488e2bee6d17bebeff8eb7bdcb5f0", "summary": "3 Key Approaches to Increasing Your Bench PR in No Time", "content": "3 Key Approaches to Increasing Your Bench PR in No Time", "keywords": "The, Guide, Bigger, Bench, Press", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "79", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/the-guide-to-a-bigger-bench-press/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1756813755.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/the-guide-to-a-bigger-bench-press/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-03 05:13:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "75148", "lang_id": "1", "title": "6 Signs She’s Keeping Her Intimate Past a Secret", "title_slug": "6-signs-shes-keeping-her-intimate-past-a-secret", "title_hash": "ca3baef29d2f94b52a0dbca1a1878308", "summary": "Everyone carries a history, but not everyone is willing to share it. Some women speak openly about past…", "content": "Everyone carries a history, but not everyone is willing to share it. Some women speak openly about past…", "keywords": ", Signs, She’s, Keeping, Her, Intimate, Past, Secret", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/a-lot--e1756769828235.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/6-signs-shes-keeping-her-intimate-past-a-secret/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-02 05:56:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "75149", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Things Men Want to Hear During Physical Intimacy", "title_slug": "10-things-men-want-to-hear-during-physical-intimacy", "title_hash": "de4c7b2576ff492271e23f94bb1506a8", "summary": "Men don’t always admit it, but what you say in moments of intimacy matters more than most people…", "content": "Men don’t always admit it, but what you say in moments of intimacy matters more than most people…", "keywords": ", Things, Men, Want, Hear, During, Physical, Intimacy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "84", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/10-things-MEN-WANT-TO-HEAR-DURING-zez.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-men-want-to-hear-during-physical-intimacy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-02 05:56:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "75147", "lang_id": "1", "title": "6 Types of Intimate Pleasure You Didn’t Know Existed (Backed by Experts)", "title_slug": "6-types-of-intimate-pleasure-you-didnt-know-existed-backed-by-experts", "title_hash": "28a6f48fd61ed2bbb35791920f0afada", "summary": "When most people think of intimacy, they picture just one kind of pleasure. But the human body and…", "content": "When most people think of intimacy, they picture just one kind of pleasure. But the human body and…", "keywords": ", Types, Intimate, Pleasure, You, Didn’t, Know, Existed, Backed, Experts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Gemini_Generated_Image_6gh2a26gh2a26gh2-e1756773889718.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/6-types-of-intimate-pleasure-you-didnt-know-existed-backed-by-experts/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-02 05:56:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "74755", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Planned Parenthood Bets on Redistricting To Push Back Against GOP Funding Cuts", "title_slug": "planned-parenthood-bets-on-redistricting-to-push-back-against-gop-funding-cuts", "title_hash": "ad288178da6a7674e095289958ead17d", "summary": "“You take away our freedoms, we’ll take away your seats.”\nThe post Planned Parenthood Bets on Redistricting To Push Back Against GOP Funding Cuts appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Abortion rights groups are backing California Democrats in the escalating battle to redraw congressional maps, warning that Republicans are rigging seats on the heels of deeply unpopular cuts to safety net health programs and restrictions on reproductive care.

And they worry there’s more to come, including a national abortion ban.

“You take away our freedoms, we’ll take away your seats,” said Jodi Hicks, CEO of Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California, during Gov. Gavin Newsom’s pitch to adopt Democratic-leaning maps to offset President Donald Trump’s attempt to bolster GOP seats in Texas.

“We can’t sit idly by while the Trump administration, while their backers in Congress, pursue every avenue to strip blue states of their autonomy.”

California legislators this week are debating the new congressional maps, drawn by Newsom allies, which would temporarily replace those drawn by the state’s independent redistricting commission. If they’re approved, voters would have the final say in a November special election.

The mobilization comes as Planned Parenthood, one of the nation’s leading reproductive rights groups, tries to prevent further political and funding losses. Since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, conservative states, including Texas, have implemented laws banning abortion almost entirely. And Republicans passed Trump’s tax-and-spending bill with massive cuts to Medicaid, which keeps safety net providers like Planned Parenthood afloat.

The Trump administration also recently barred the organization and its affiliates from receiving reimbursement for nonabortion services such as cancer screenings and birth control, though a federal judge has temporarily paused enforcement pending a legal challenge.

John Seago, president of Texas Right to Life, said the anti-abortion group is not taking a position on either state’s redistricting proposals. But, he said, Democrats’ rhetoric about protecting democracy rings hollow when blue states like California pass “shield laws” that protect patients seeking abortions and their health-care providers from facing consequences and make it more difficult for states like Texas to enforce their laws.

Hicks, whose group represents about 1 in 5 Planned Parenthood clinics nationwide, promised to “go all in” on Newsom’s ballot measure. She declined to say how much money the organization would spend on the campaign.

She added that she wouldn’t be surprised to see more health-care groups—many of which opposed the recent Medicaid cuts—jump into electoral politics following the passage of Trump’s signature law. “Health-care organizations that, maybe, don’t get involved in those particular races are looking at things differently,” she said.

So far, health industry support has been limited to abortion rights advocates. Reproductive Freedom for All, the national abortion rights group formerly known as NARAL, also lauded Newsom for “holding Republicans accountable for trying to steal votes.”

Planned Parenthood Texas Votes, the advocacy arm of the state’s affiliates, has urged supporters to testify at special session meetings and held a webinar to “stop the redistricting power grab.” And the national Planned Parenthood Action Fund encouraged leaders in Democratic states to use “all tools in their power to push back, level the national playing field, and stop the slide into authoritarianism.”

Hicks and her group are no strangers to big political fights—even against Newsom. Last year, she and other health leaders led a $56 million campaign to pass a revised state health-care tax in November over the governor’s concerns.

Newsom, who is trying to build a national profile ahead of a potential 2028 presidential bid, said the effort would “neutralize” Republican gerrymandering in Texas to pad their party’s fragile five-seat advantage in the U.S. House. The party in the White House has generally lost congressional seats in the midterm elections, and political analysts say the trend appears likely to continue in 2026.

Newsom also called on lawmakers in other Democratic states to follow suit if GOP states move ahead with redistricting plans. Leaders in Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Missouri, New York, and Ohio have suggested they could explore similar actions, creating a potential cascade that political experts have said could sow chaos in next year’s midterm elections and set a dangerous precedent.

California Republican Party chair Corrin Rankin, whose party stands to lose five of the nine House seats it currently holds, called Newsom’s proposal a “calculated power grab that dismantles the very safeguards voters put in place” when they passed congressional redistricting reform in 2010.

Democratic leaders have cast the move as necessary to combat an existential threat to democracy. And they have criticized Republicans for trying to make an end run around voter anger toward their policies, particularly around health care. Nearly half of adults think the Republican-passed tax-and-spending law will hurt them, according to a July survey by KFF. More than half believe abortion should be legal, at least under some circumstances, per a Gallup poll in May.

The Republican-passed megabill is projected to slash Medicaid, the federal health-care program that covers low-income Americans, by nearly $1 trillion over 10 years. And the Trump administration has cut funding to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health, including clawing back medical and scientific research funds from universities.

“They know that voters will hold them accountable for the cuts they rammed through Congress that will strip health care away from millions of people,” said Democratic state lawmaker Sabrina Cervantes, chair of the Senate Elections and Constitutional Amendments Committee. “Because they know they cannot win fair elections, they are changing the rules in the middle of the game.”

Republican incumbents who could be redistricted into oblivion are crying foul.

“Mid-Decade redistricting is wrong, no matter where it’s being done,” Rep. Doug LaMalfa wrote on the social platform X. Last week, the seven-term Republican endured a hostile town hall in his rural Northern California district, defending his vote for the new law by saying it “doesn’t cut a single dollar from people who qualify” for Medi-Cal, the state’s Medicaid program.

If approved by voters, proponents said, California’s 52 new House districts would also bolster vulnerable congressional Democrats and be in effect for the 2026, 2028, and 2030 elections. The map would not go into effect unless another state approved its own gerrymandering effort. After the 2030 census, the state commission would regain control of the process.

Paul Mitchell, a redistricting expert who helped draft the Democrats’ map, said his team used the commission’s district boundaries as a starting point and, for more than half the districts, moved fewer than 10 percent of voters.

“This is not a Twitter hack job,” said Mitchell, a Democrat who is married to Hicks and has long supported the independent commission’s work. “I want to get back to nonpartisan redistricting, but right now we’re in a crisis.”

National polls show voters oppose partisan redistricting. And California voters still overwhelmingly support the state’s independent redistricting system, said veteran GOP strategist Rob Stutzman, who added that passing such complicated ballot language in an off-year election would be no easy feat.

“You’re asking voters to make an unprincipled decision. You’re asking them to rig an election because allegedly Texas is rigging an election,” Stutzman said. “‘No’ votes are so much easier when it’s confusing, and this is extremely confusing.”

Dave Wasserman, senior editor and elections analyst for the Cook Political Report, said Texas and California have the potential to set off a “redistricting apocalypse” that will have major implications in the fight to control Congress.

“If Democrats fail to pass a ballot initiative to offset Texas, then Republicans would go from having a very narrow chance to hold the House to, perhaps, an even chance,” he said. But, he added, public opinion on health-care cuts remains the biggest obstacle in the party’s path.

The post Planned Parenthood Bets on Redistricting To Push Back Against GOP Funding Cuts appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Planned, Parenthood, Bets, Redistricting, Push, Back, Against, GOP, Funding, Cuts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "79", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/kffhealthnews.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2023/04/kffhealthnews-icon.png?w=150#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/09/01/planned-parenthood-california-joins-redistricting-fight/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-02 05:40:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "74315", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Schrödinger's Attraction: Women Both Want You & Don't at the Same Time", "title_slug": "schroedingers-attraction-women-both-want-you-dont-at-the-same-time", "title_hash": "dda4fa95a6dccf7fdf92cab2daf56ac0", "summary": "Understand “Schrödinger’s attraction”: a woman can be simultaneously interested and not—a state that collapses only when you make a key move.\nHere’s a concept I think is very important for men to understand, that most men clearly do not understand, and that I have never seen properly detailed before.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"women$ Understand “Schrödinger’s attraction”: a woman can be simultaneously interested and not—a state that collapses only when you make a key move.

Here’s a concept I think is very important for men to understand, that most men clearly do not understand, and that I have never seen properly detailed before.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Schrödingers, Attraction:, Women, Both, Want, You, Dont, the, Same, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/schrodingers-attraction-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/schr-dingers-attraction-women-both-want-you-dont-same-time", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-01 09:46:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "74312", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Sex Toys for Men", "title_slug": "the-best-sex-toys-for-men", "title_hash": "76da0c6767301413bb26bc72d5126939", "summary": "Looking for something extra? These are great for beginners.", "content": "There's never been a better time to own a male sex toy. \r\nWe're living and fornicating in a day and age where new research and developments are letting sex toy creators build a better world for our future orgasms. \r\nAs technology continues to improve our lives, it's also being featured in the latest sex devices we are able to bring into the bedroom (or use for our own personal pleasure). To put it into perspective, think about what cell phones looked like 5 or 10 years ago. \r\nRELATED: Here's Why You Should Buy Yourself a Sex Toy\r\nSo many technological features and functionalities have evolved over time, and phones aren't the only device that's been reaping the benefits. The sex toy market has been tapping into the latest trends in tech to invent better ways to get people off. Is this news to you? Well, prepare to have your mind blown. \r\nThink Fleshlights molded after your favorite porn star, masturbation devices that capture the sensations of oral and vaginal sex simultaneously and remote-controlled anal plugs for your easiest prostate orgasm ever. What a time to be alive!\r\nWhether you're a first-time buyer of adult toys or a seasoned sex toy user, there's something new and noteworthy on this list of sex toys that's sure to pique your interest. Here are the latest and greatest sex toys for men to improve your sex life, push your boundaries and heighten your sexual pleasure.\r\nThe Best Sex Toys for Guys, by Category\r\n\r\n\tBest Male Masturbators\r\n\tBest Prostate Massagers & Anal Sex Toys\r\n\tCock Rings and Ball Spreaders\r\n\tBest Sex Toys for Couples\r\n\tAdvanced Sex Toys for Men\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nBest Male Masturbators\r\n\r\nIf you're a guy, there are lots of ways to masturbate, but these are the sex toys you want if you’re looking for an easy experience without having to find an outlet to plug something into. They’re your basic stroker toys that you could theoretically keep using until you die — while regularly washing them, of course. Regardless of how the world of sex toys is changing with technology, it’s nice to know that toys like these still exist.\r\nFleshlight Flight Pilot\r\n\r\nFleshlights really are the first name in male sex toys, and the Flight Pilot model is a great option for guys looking for some on-the-go pleasure. It features an extra tight fit for increased intensity, and a compact case so you can stow it in your luggage without any trouble.\r\n$54.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTenga Deep Throat Onacup\r\n\r\nA lot of design went into this option, and using it, it’s not hard to see that. The product boasts incredible suction technology thanks to an airhole at the end that creates a “vacuum sensation,” as well as a special insertion mechanism for a “smooth but tight entry.” The one drawback? It’s not designed to be cleaned out, so use a condom if you do plan to re-use it.\r\n$14.99 at Lovehoney.com\r\nLovense Solace\r\n\r\nLovense’s Solace masturbator combines a delectable inner sleeve with a motor system that offers up to 280 strokes per minute. In addition to being super easy to clean compared to most masturbators, it also boasts incredible pairing functionality that allows you to sync the toy to both music and gaming content for immersive, powerfully erotic experiences. Check out the Lovense Solace \r\nTenga Egg Variety Pack\r\n\r\nTenga's eggs are one of the simplest toys out there, but they are great at what they do — which is to give you a just-add-water hyper-compact stroker experience. Crack open the egg shell, squeeze some of the included lube into it the sleeve inside and watch as it becomes soft, stretchy and, well, perfect for thrusting into. They’re very travel friendly; the only drawback is that they’re single-use only.$41.94 at Tenga.co\r\nFleshlight Porn Star \r\n\r\nLots of different sex toy manufacturers will try to sell you toys based off a specific porn star’s orifices, but opting for one of Fleshlight’s porn star models means two things: You’re getting a top-of-the-line toy from a brand you can trust, and you also get to have your pick from among what feels like half the porn industry’s biggest names. Think names like Riley Reid, Elsa Jean, Lisa Ann, Janice Griffith, Asa Akira, and on, and on, and on.\r\n$79.95 at Fleshlight.com\r\nTenga 3D Spiral Textured Male Masturbator\r\n\r\n\r\nIf a traditional Fleshlight’s too rigid for your tastes, you can recreate some of the magic with the much more flexible Tenga 3D Spiral stroker. Offering both textured and smooth options — simply flip it inside out to switch from one to the other — this cool-looking toy from Tenga is a versatile option that lots of guys love.\r\n$29.01 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nBest Prostate Massagers & Anal Sex Toys for Men\r\n\r\nThese toys utilize one specific underrated part of the male body that too many dudes don’t really think about when shopping for sex toys: the P-spot. Yep, we're talking about the sex toys designed to stimulate your prostate.\r\nRELATED: The Best Prostate Toys for Men\r\nLELO Hugo 2\r\n\r\nThe LELO Hugo 2 may well be best-in-class when it comes to prostate-massaging toys. In addition to its sleek and sexy design, it’s got up to three months of standby power and up to a full hour of prostate-rocking power from a full charge under its body-safe silicone hood. Plus, like any sex toy worth its salt in 2024, it can be controlled via Bluetooth by a mobile app, meaning someone else can be totally in control of your pleasure.$199 at LELO.com \r\nAneros Helix Trident Prostate Massager\r\n\r\nIf you've never tried a prostate massager before, there's no better time to invest in one from Aneros. It uses something called “Multi-Axial Motion Architecture” to vibrate along different axes within the anus. Sure, it looks a bit intimidating, but prostate massagers are going mainstream, and this one is worth a try.\r\n$55 at Aneros.com\r\nNexus Revo Stealth Rotating Prostate Massager\r\n\r\nThis offering from Nexus offers maximum versatility as well as maximum pleasure. You can use it internally as a prostate massager, with up to 6 modes of vibration and 2 bidirectional internal rotation speeds, all while pleasuring your perineum from up to 15 meters away courtesy of its rechargeable remote control. As an added bonus, it's fully waterproof, meaning you can take this into the shower or bath tub with a USB-powered, easy rechargeable battery.\r\n$224.99 at Lovehoney.com\r\nRimmers Model Curved Rimming Plug\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're ready to take your own anal play to the next level, look no further than the new line of easy to use anal plugs from Rimmers. Butt plugs aren't for everyone, but if you've never used a butt plug, you should try one before you dismiss an entire category of sex toys.\r\n$49.70 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nBest Cock Rings & Ball Spreaders\r\n\r\nCock and penis rings are classic, discreet male toys that not only increase your pleasure, but can prolong and intensify your erection, too. That means your partner can benefit in a big way from these bad boys. \r\nRELATED: How to Use a Cock Ring\r\nWe-Vibe Pivot\r\n\r\nThere are lots of vibrating cock rings on the market — some of which are listed below — but We-Vibe’s Pivot doesn’t just vibrate. What sets it apart from the competition is that the Pivot’s vibrations can be controlled via Bluetooth, so you or a partner can play with the intensity using a smartphone, giving it a deliciously kinky dynamic in addition to the glorious sensations you’re receiving. $109.00 at Lovehoney.com\r\nSvakom Tyler\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for a cock ring that’ll pleasure your partner while it works its magic on you, the Svakom Tyler is a great option. Unlike many other vibrating cock rings, the Tyler is one you charge rather than one that requires batteries, meaning it’s more lightweight and powerful than the competition. It’s made from medical-grade silicone, and yes, it will go to town on your partner’s clitoris while you’re focused on penetration.\r\n$88 at Svakom.com\r\nPromescent Penis Ring Vibrator\r\n\r\nA slightly more subtle ring that’s still designed to provide some clitoral stimulation to a partner is this entry from Promescent, who have expanded from their initial focus on sexual health to include sex toys. With nine different patterns and intensities to choose from, plus “whisper-quiet” motors, it’s the total package for your package — at a very reasonable price.$31.49 at Promescent.com\r\nAdam & Eve Silicone Ball Spreader\r\n\r\nContrary to popular belief, a sex toy doesn't have to be expensive (or even technologically advanced) to be effective, and this ball spreader from Adam & Eve proves that point. It's easy to put on thanks to the stretchy silicone, and promises to deliver increased pleasure and a longer lasting erection, making it a win for your partner, too.\r\n$10.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nMyHixel Ring\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for something that’s small but mighty, may we suggest MyHixel’s rings? They’re not cheap, but their design allows them to apply strong pressure on just the right parts of your penis to allow for maximum erectile intensity without taking up much space. The set includes three options, making finding the right tightness and fit a bit easier. \r\nFrom $95 at MyHixel.com\r\n\r\nBest Sex Toys for Couples\r\n\r\nEven with your own goal in mind, getting off can (and should) also be about getting someone else off at the same time. These are the toys for men to use when there’s another person in the equation. \r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Couples\r\nRemote-controlled vibrators, pleasure boosters and a legit cock ring is how you take one of the finest solo activities out there to another level. As always, we suggest you talk to your partner before diving into any of these to make sure you know what they'd be into using.\r\nLovense Max 2\r\n\r\nDoes your sex toy really need to be Bluetooth compatible? Probably not, but if your partner doesn't live with you or travels frequently, investing in the Lovense Max 2 can help you two stay, uhh, connected while you're apart. Think of it as a great facilitator for long-distance relationships. As far as its inner workings, this toy's air pump design mimics the feel and flow of oral sex, and provides rumbly vibrations for added pleasure.\r\n$99 at Lovense.com\r\nKIIROO Pearl3 & Onyx+ Couple Set\r\n\r\nThis KIIROO couples set takes the concept of the long-distance Bluetooth sex toy and amps it up to the logical conclusion: two sex toys (one penetrating, and one penetrated) that are linked together. It transfers the actual sensation of thrusting in real time from one partner to the other, whether you’re 10 miles apart or 10,000. What was that they said about absence making the heart grow fonder? Maybe they knew about these toys...$239.84 at Kiiroo.com\r\nWe-Vibe Sync O\r\n\r\nWe think the We-Vibe Sync O is one of the best toys out there for hetero couples. It’s designed to stimulate both the G-spot and the penis during penetrative sex, while also vibrating against the clitoris at the same time. An added bonus is that it’s Bluetooth-enabled, so you can actually control the toy’s vibrations’ intensity while you’re going at it with a remote. $135 at We-Vibe.com\r\nAdam's Extension\r\n\r\nMaybe you don’t feel like your member is enough. If that's the case, Adam’s Extension is a great tool to use. If you don’t want to go the route of a penis pump, this shell provides you with an automatic extra two inches all around. Plus, it’s got all the ribbing features and whistles to drive your partner totally insane.\r\n$19.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nLovense Lush 4\r\n\r\n\r\nThe 4th version of the Lovense Lush won’t technically pleasure both of you at the same time, too, but if you get off on pleasuring your partner, this toy absolutely caters to that desire. It’s an internal vibrator that uses Bluetooth technology so you can control every little vibration from your phone, whether you’re in bed together, out in public together or separated by thousands of miles. The toy’s app is also packed with cool functions like setting the vibrations to music, creating specific pattern presets and even using the toy as a wake-up alarm.\r\n$129 at Lovense.com\r\n\r\nAdvanced Sex Toys for Men\r\n\r\nIf you’re getting bored with the state of male sex toys as they are, you can invest in something that has a bit more of a kick to it. That’s where advanced, high-tech sex toys that are bigger and better than the last come in. These are the next sex toys taking the world by storm.\r\nAutoblow AI Ultra\r\n\r\nThe inventor of the Autoblow AI Ultra, Brian Sloan, is something of a sexual mad scientist. This toy uses insane amounts of data and an internal computer to deliver porn-star-quality blowjobs without you having to move a muscle. You can program it in a number of different, fascinating ways and save your favorite blowjob patterns to experience again and again. And, unlike the prior model, this one is cordless. $219.95 at Autoblow.com\r\nThe Handy\r\n\r\nThe Handy is a new toy that’s designed to simulate a handjob. While the titular “handy” might not be many people’s favorite sex act, this toy might just come closer to exactly replicating a handjob than any other sex toys comes to replicating any other sex act, which is no small feat for the handjob lovers of the world. Here’s how it works: You line it up so it’s at the right height for you, program the speed you’d like, and receive a real-deal handjob. $291.00 at TheHandy.com\r\nLELO F2S\r\n\r\nDevice-based toys are all the rage these days, but not all of them understand the proper way to cater towards the male audience — that is, until now. You truly haven't experienced full satisfaction until you've wrapped your member in LELO's latest masturbation toy-slash-stamina trainer. With a flexible sleeve meant for accommodating a penis of any shape or size, the F2S is equipped with fourteen powerful pleasure settings, when structured through the LELO app, grants you the power to build up your orgasm exactly how you want it. We don't blame you if you never want to take it off. \r\n$219 at LELO.com\r\nTantaly Britney 2.0\r\n\r\nIn fairness, this isn’t exactly technologically advanced, but granted getting a full-torso, life-size sex doll is at least advanced in terms of the fact that it’s a step up from a regular masturbator. This one’s for those who are serious about exploring sex toy pleasure only. But if you have the cash to ante up, our testing reveals that the Britney 2.0 from Tantaly is genuinely worth the bang for your buck. Soft, pliable, just the right amount of heft. If you’ve been wanting to graduate from just sleeve-based masturbators, this could be just what you need. \r\n$399.99 at Tantaly.com \r\nThe Super Milker by Lovebotz\r\n\r\nThe ultimate toy for the lazy man, The Milker by Lovebotz does it all for you — like the aforementioned Autoblow toy, this will stroke and suck you (and milk you) without you having to do anything. Its two differently sized cylinders each feature a thin, flexible membrane to deliver you pleasure. It may cost you an arm and a leg, but if it can make you orgasm, maybe money can buy happiness.\r\n$499.95 at LoveBotz.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Lubricants for Anal Sex\r\n\tHow to Choose the Best Condoms\r\n\tThe Best Sex Toys for Women", "keywords": "The, Best, Sex, Toys, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_toys_and_games/the-37-best-sex-toys-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1697637891.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_toys_and_games/the-37-best-sex-toys-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-01 09:46:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "74313", "lang_id": "1", "title": "AskFemme: How Do Men Stay Hard at Sex Parties?", "title_slug": "askfemme-how-do-men-stay-hard-at-sex-parties", "title_hash": "cf2740abab6d845a91ee28be0dc8982d", "summary": "How Do Other Guys Stay Hard at Sex Parties? I Get Too Nervous to Have a Boner...", "content": "Welcome to AskFemme, our new sex column that’s all about demystifying female desire. My name is Sophie Saint Thomas, and I’m going to be answering all your sex questions — because for all the men who sleep with women, the best advice for getting better in bed is going to come from a woman. I will do my best to be nice, but one thing I won’t be is dishonest. Women still aren’t having enough orgasms, and men still seem super confused about that, so the point of this column is to help bridge that gap with some genuine openness and clarity about the nitty-gritty of sex.\r\nThe Question:\r\nHow do other men always seem hard at sex parties? I get too nervous to have a boner. - Noah, 27, Los Angeles\r\nThe Answer:\r\nDear Noah,\r\nI’m so sorry that no one ever told you this, but all those other men are using Viagra, or some variant. \r\nYes, there may be the rare man who is so confident, so sure of himself, that he’s rock hard at a sex party without pharmaceutical assistance, but it’s rare. He probably has some super-specific kink about people-watching and even then… I’m telling you, he’s on Viagra! \r\nMost experienced sex party attendees with penises understand that to stay hard despite the audience (and, to be able to enjoy multiple rounds), erectile dysfunction meds (although in this case, it’s erectile enhancement) medication is a must.\r\nBut let me be clear on something. I say “Viagra,” because that’s the word that’s become synonymous with boner pills, but Viagra is a name-brand medicine that is more expensive than what you need to pay. \r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Erectile Dysfunction\r\nThe generic version of Viagra is called sildenafil. It’s not only affordable, but today, you don’t even have to go to the doctor’s office to get it. You can just jump on a Zoom call, and as long as you don’t have underlying medical conditions (like something going on with your heart, high blood pressure, or kidney disease), it’s shockingly easy to get a prescription. \r\nThere are some concerns that regular use of these meds isn’t great for your heart. Because they work by dilating blood vessels to improve blood flow, it can lower blood pressure in a way that’s not ideal for folks with cardiovascular disease. But if you’re healthy, especially if you’re only using it once in a while to attend sex parties, you’ll be fine. \r\nNo matter how many advancements we’ve made, we still live in a patriarchal society. What people don’t talk about enough is how much that hurts men. Because men are still in control (we’ve never had a woman president!), cis men are often the ones left out of discussions about gender and sexual expectations, just because it’s assumed that you’ve got it under control. \r\nRELATED: Here’s How to Treat Your Erectile Dysfunction \r\nPeople are like, oh, he’s a dude. Look at all his privilege! He’s fine. It’s assumed that because you have a penis, there’s so much going for you that we don’t need to invest the same amount of time into your well-being and safety when it comes to things like sex parties. \r\nBut this isn’t fair! It isn’t fair at all. You’re still a human with a mind and heart and soul. And the world truly acts like you’re supposed to be able to get hard on command, even with an audience. \r\nWhile people with vaginas can hide, at least from people watching, the fact that they might not be super wet due to stage fright, or just fix the problem easily with lube, with penises, there’s no hiding anything. So, one more time, in case no one ever told you, because they assume you have it too good: those men with the rock-hard erections at sex parties are almost certainly all taking sildenafil. \r\nAs a reminder, with great power comes great responsibility. If you have a medically induced erection, you’re going to want to use it. Consent, communication, and following the by-laws of whatever event you’re attending are more important than ever. Bring lube and condoms. Yeah, the event probably has them, but you can never be too prepared. \r\nSo, where can you find this? \r\nCompanies like Hims or Ro offer discreet virtual visits and super-fast turnaround time. If you already have a doctor you trust, of course, go see them, but there’s no reason to spend an afternoon in the doctor’s office if you don’t have to. \r\nSo get your meds, talk to your partner, be a decent human, carry condoms and lube with the same urgency that you stash your boner pills, and if you see a guy in the corner, alone, making sad faces at a sex party, or perhaps with mean partner berating him for not being able to get hard, loop him in on the secret. Everyone’s taking boner pills. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThis Is What It’s Really Like to Participate in an OrgyWhat It's Like to Conquer Your Erectile Issues Str8Curious: What Are Gay Sex Parties Like?", "keywords": "AskFemme:, How, Men, Stay, Hard, Sex, Parties", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/askfemme-how-do-men-stay-hard-at-sex-parties/askmen-lead-image-2x1-40-1756490982.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/askfemme-how-do-men-stay-hard-at-sex-parties.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-01 09:46:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "74314", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Workout for Building Shoulders", "title_slug": "best-workout-for-building-shoulders", "title_hash": "7ca072625227428042caeaaf79f7a523", "summary": "Shoulders are by far one of the most important body parts to build if you want to take your physique to the next level. I would argue that great shoulders — similarly to a great back — are what truly separate those with awesome physiques from those with average ones. \r\nWhy? Because shoulders are hard to build. You can walk into any commercial gym and find a guy with a great chest or great arms without much of a problem. Everyone knows how to work those muscles — and they spend an inordinate amount of time doing so.\r\nBut not everyone knows how to work their shoulders (and work them well). Think about it: How many times have you seen a guy with great delts? The kind of shoulders that make him look bigger and better than everyone else? It doesn't happen often. \r\nGreat shoulders fill out your upper body, add size and width to your physique, and help you achieve that classic, coveted V-taper look. If you are the proud owner of a wide set of shoulders, your waist is going instantly look mor", "content": "Shoulders are by far one of the most important body parts to build if you want to take your physique to the next level. I would argue that great shoulders — similarly to a great back — are what truly separate those with awesome physiques from those with average ones. \r\nWhy? Because shoulders are hard to build. You can walk into any commercial gym and find a guy with a great chest or great arms without much of a problem. Everyone knows how to work those muscles — and they spend an inordinate amount of time doing so.\r\nBut not everyone knows how to work their shoulders (and work them well). Think about it: How many times have you seen a guy with great delts? The kind of shoulders that make him look bigger and better than everyone else? It doesn't happen often. \r\nGreat shoulders fill out your upper body, add size and width to your physique, and help you achieve that classic, coveted V-taper look. If you are the proud owner of a wide set of shoulders, your waist is going instantly look more narrow. This is going to make you look more attractive to the ladies — and make other men wonder how they can get that same yoked look. \r\nRELATED: Best Workout for Bigger Arms \r\nBesides aesthetics, shoulders also contribute to your overall strength: If you’ve got strong shoulders, you’re going to be stronger on other pushing and pulling movements. Meaning that you will be able to get better back and chest workouts as a result. And if you’re getting stronger and lifting more during your chest and back workouts, you’re also filling out your frame and emphasizing that V-taper even more. It’s like a continuous circle of gains. Why wouldn’t you want to make that happen?\r\n\r\nHow to Build Boulder Shoulders \r\n\r\nOne of the reasons that plenty of people don’t have awesome shoulders is that shoulders are a difficult muscle group to train. Most people just think of doing some overhead presses and lateral raises and call it a day. Overhead presses and lateral raises are great — and they’re staple moves for any shoulder routine — but there are many more forgotten moves and tricks that you should be incorporating into your workouts. \r\nTo get boulder shoulders, you need to realize that the shoulder is a ball-and-socket joint, and because of that it can move damn near anywhere it pleases. Which means the delts and traps have to be able to support it in all of these various positions.\r\nAnd because the shoulders have to work during any upper-body movement, they have a high tolerance for work. Just hammering out heavy set after heavy set won’t do the trick. To truly get your shoulders to grow, you need to incorporate heavy weights and some tension.\r\nIf you’re not following along, that means that to get the best results, you need to train your shoulders in a variety of positions, and sometimes go slow. \r\nBecause I want to see a world where all of us walk around with cannon-ball delts, I’ve written up a little shoulder routine for you. This isn’t an easy routine. So unless you’ve had more than a year of dedicated lifting experience under your belt, you shouldn’t really give this a try.\r\nRELATED: Best Stretches for Men Over 30 \r\nIf you’re relatively new and don’t have a year under your belt, spend six to eight months trying to build as much strength as possible. Get good at basic movements such as the squat, deadlift, bench press, row, and overhead press. Then, give this bad boy a try.\r\n\r\nThe Boulder Shoulder Workout:\r\n\r\nWarm-up\r\nResistance band pull-apart: 2x20Resistance band lateral raise: 2x20Resistance band overhead press: 2x20\r\nSuperset A\r\nBarbell overhead press: 4x8 (Keep your butt and abs tight, as this maintains your lower back in a safer position)Lateral raises with dumbbells: 4x12 (To load the deltoids with as much tension as possible only raise until your arms are parallel with the ground, and stop 3-4 inches short of your hips)\r\n*Rest 90 seconds between each superset then repeat.\r\nSuperset B\r\nBarbell upright rows: 4x8 (Take an extra wide grip here. I like to put my pinkies on the ring of the barbell: The wider your hands, the more emphasis on your deltoids)Dumbbell Arnold Press: 4x12 (Think about pressing up and out here so your triceps don’t take over the move — and it forces your deltoids to work more)\r\n*Rest 90 seconds between each superset then repeat.\r\nSuperset C\r\nFace pulls with rope: 3x12 (Keep the elbows high, and think about initiating the movement with your shoulder blades.)Dumbbell iron cross 3x8 (Grab a set of dumbbells and do a front deltoid raise, then immediately move to the top position of a lateral raise, then down. That’s one rep.)\r\n*Rest 90 seconds between each superset then repeat.\r\nFinisher:\r\nFarmer walks: 4x30 yards (Pick a weight that is roughly half your body weight in each hand, and try to hold the dumbbells in a shrug position. Walk with perfect posture, keeping your abs tight and shoulders pulled back.)Resistance band lateral raises: 4x10 (This shouldn’t be an extremely difficult level of resistance, but follow the directions for lateral raises above. The key is to produce as much tension as possible in the deltoids.)\r\n*Rest 90 seconds between each superset then repeat.\r\nThere you go. It’s simple, but brutally effective. If you’re looking for serious shoulder growth, I’d suggest doing this two times a week for the next six to eight weeks — and enjoy the new you staring back at you in the mirror. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Leg Workouts for MenHow to Get Bigger ArmsThe Best Triceps Routines", "keywords": "Best, Workout, for, Building, Shoulders", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-workout-for-building-shoulders/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1756496972.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-workout-for-building-shoulders.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-09-01 09:46:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "73665", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Did that Sex Talk Gambit Work (or Fail)? How to REALLY Tell", "title_slug": "did-that-sex-talk-gambit-work-or-fail-how-to-really-tell", "title_hash": "7fd431dae6511794579258ddd3d4cff3", "summary": "Just because she doesn’t start ripping her clothes off (or yours) is not a sign of a sex talk failure. Sex talk aims at something more crucial for the seduction than this.\nHey guys.\nI hope you are all doing well.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"did$ Just because she doesn’t start ripping her clothes off (or yours) is not a sign of a sex talk failure. Sex talk aims at something more crucial for the seduction than this.

Hey guys.

I hope you are all doing well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Did, that, Sex, Talk, Gambit, Work, or, Fail, How, REALLY, Tell", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "91", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/sex-talk-success-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/did-sex-talk-gambit-work-or-fail-how-really-tell", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-31 11:17:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "73664", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The “Iraqi Barbie” Who Shocked the Internet", "title_slug": "the-iraqi-barbie-who-shocked-the-internet", "title_hash": "a9eca5eefbe1fb2b949a0afa0d0b5abc", "summary": "On social media, nothing really shocks us anymore… or so we think. But the story of Dalia Naeem,…", "content": "On social media, nothing really shocks us anymore… or so we think. But the story of Dalia Naeem,…", "keywords": "The, “Iraqi, Barbie”, Who, Shocked, the, Internet", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Dalia.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-iraqi-barbie-who-shocked-the-internet/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-31 11:17:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "73663", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Travel With a Partner", "title_slug": "how-to-travel-with-a-partner", "title_hash": "4f0dfc6e9b8c4f4279cb3510c64414fa", "summary": "9 Dos & Don'ts for the Next Trip You Go on With Your Partner", "content": "The point of traveling with your partner should be to enjoy stepping out of routine and to make new memories together. \r\nBut because of how different it can be from day-to-day life, traveling together also gives you a way to explore how you work as a couple, and can strengthen the relationship once you’re back home — if you go about the experience the right way, that is. \r\n“Traveling together can be an exciting bonding experience, but it also brings unique challenges,” says Kimber Shelton, licensed psychologist, author, speaker, and owner of KLS Counseling & Consulting Services. “It’s a unique opportunity to learn how your partner navigates stress, plans, and unwinds.”\r\nWhether it’s your first trip as a couple or you’ve been traveling together for years, the following couples’ therapist-approved dos and don’ts will help ensure your time together strengthens your relationship and allows you to make the most of your time and memories abroad, even if things don’t go exactly as planned.\r\nRELATED: Romantic Getaway Mistakes\r\nHere’s what you’ll want to plan for when traveling together in order to make the most of your trip as a couple—while still ensuring you’re both enjoying yourselves as individuals.\r\nDon’t Expect Perfection\r\nUnless you’re both very lucky and having a quite short trip, things will not go perfectly. Inevitably, you will be late, miss a train, go in the wrong direction, forget to pack something — the list goes on. \r\n“Mishaps and errors are bound to happen when traveling,” says Shelton. “Expect this to occur and offer yourself and your partner grace. Instead of wasting time focused on what went wrong, put your energy into how you can pivot and adapt to the situation.”\r\nDo Allow for Resets\r\nIn tandem with the above, miscommunication and frustrations are bound to happen when traveling. Shelton urges couples to give themselves a reset when they do. \r\n“Take a breath, remember your intentions and desire for the trip, start over, and offer a positive suggestion,” she suggests.\r\nSaying something like, ‘We’re not going to make that reservation, there are other good restaurants, and I just want to have a nice dinner with you. Let’s try one of these places,’ makes it easy to move forward and puts emphasis on the time you’re spending together rather than trying to cultivate the perfect trip at all costs. \r\nAs in other areas of life, being a little more laid-back about things may in fact mean you’re more likely to enjoy yourselves. \r\nDon’t Forget Who You’re Traveling With\r\nAs much as you love and care for your partner, they’re not perfect. Expecting them to magically change who they are while traveling isn’t realistic — in fact, depending on their comfort level with new places, they might even struggle more than in their day-to-day life. \r\n“I know my spouse will do minimal planning, will absolutely forget to bring something, and will want to purchase an expensive item when we travel abroad,” says Shelton. “This is who he is and what he does, so when this person shows up on vacation, I am not surprised.”\r\n“While these things can annoy me, I appreciate that he goes with the flow, is relaxed, and calm when traveling. Know who you are traveling with and appreciate the strong qualities that they bring to traveling abroad.”\r\nKnowing what you know about each other’s personalities can also be helpful when breaking down responsibilities. Is one of you really good at finding deals? Is one of you more linguistically comfortable with your new surroundings? Using each other’s skill sets judiciously can help make everything go more smoothly. \r\nDo Be Present\r\nIt’s not uncommon to get so focused or stressed on itineraries, capturing the perfect photo, and doing all the things that you don’t fully appreciate the space that you’re in and who you’re there with. \r\nInstead of focusing on a laundry list of places to visit, Shelton suggests focusing on being present — in the place you are and who you’re with. \r\n“At that waterfall, on top of that mountain, in the gondola, or viewing that architectural marvel, pause, breathe, notice how you feel, what you see, what you smell, what you hear,” she says. “Appreciate being in this space with someone you care about and who cares about you.”\r\nDon’t Take ‘Home Problems’ on Vacation With You\r\n“Unless the focus of your trip is to work through problems and issues, leave those problems and issues at home,” suggests Shelton. “Too much money has been spent to be arguing and angry in paradise. When you get home, those problems and issues will still be there for you to focus on.”\r\nShelton also points out that having a good trip with your partner can give you enough of a reconnection to better work through some of those problems and issues when you do get back home.\r\nDo Ask for What You Need\r\n“Don’t assume your partner knows when you are hungry, what time you need to leave to make it somewhere, directions to the next location, or the day’s itinerary,” says Shelton. \r\n“Communicate what you need and how you are feeling. There are so many things to attend to and focus on when traveling abroad that your partner may not be as attentive to your needs and might miss nonverbal cues on how you feel. Don’t wait for them to guess what is going on with you, tell them.”\r\nDon’t Get Defensive\r\n“If your partner is upset, take three deep breaths before responding, listen, and own your part,” says Tori Morrison, owner and lead coach at Haven Coaching in San Diego, CA. \r\nIf you feel overwhelmed, Morrison suggests saying something like, “I feel too dysregulated to continue right now. I need a short break so I can come back calmer.”\r\nDo Apologize & Take Ownership\r\nIf things do go wrong, acknowledge your role and express genuine remorse from your heart. \r\nMorrison suggests using “I feel” statements. For example: ‘When you didn’t book the tickets, I felt anxious. In the future, I’d love it if we could double-check plans together. Does that work for you?’\r\nRELATED: How to Apologize Like a Man \r\nFrom there, repair quickly and move forward. \r\n“Lean into your teamwork, resolve the issue fully, then consciously shift back into enjoying your vacation,” she suggests.\r\nDon’t Storm Off & Leave Your Partner\r\nEven if you desperately need space to cool off before dealing with conflict, do not leave your partner alone in a foreign place. Abandoning your partner when they might not have regular cell reception or feel comfortable abroad is something that will be hard to forget in the future.\r\n “Safety matters, especially in unfamiliar places. Step aside together in a safe spot if you need space,” says Morrison.\r\nInstead, if you’re someone who often needs solo time, consider building some into your itinerary to begin with. That way, whether you really need space from them or not, you’ll be able to have some fun solo experiences and come back together after some time apart with things to share. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nQuestions to Ask Before Moving in Together The Most Romantic Hotels for an Unforgettable Couples GetawayHow to Respectfully Disagree With Your Partner During Tough Times", "keywords": "How, Travel, With, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "85", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-travel-with-a-partner/askmen-lead-image-2x1-39-1756490786.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-travel-with-a-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-31 11:17:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "73657", "lang_id": "1", "title": "M.A.S.H. Date Night Games for Couples", "title_slug": "mash-date-night-games-for-couples", "title_hash": "55e52ef3a64d11028b268375c2faa21c", "summary": "Bring back the classic M.A.S.H. game with a fun twist for couples! This grown-up version helps you plan your next date night...or a steamy night in.\nThe post M.A.S.H. Date Night Games for Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Bring back the classic M.A.S.H. game with a fun twist for couples! This grown-up version helps you plan your next date night...or a steamy night in.

The post M.A.S.H. Date Night Games for Couples appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "M.A.S.H., Date, Night, Games, for, Couples", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/video.mp4?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/m-a-s-h-date-night-games-for-couples/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-31 11:17:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "73296", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Trans Texans Face Yet Another Attempt To Ban Them From Bathrooms", "title_slug": "trans-texans-face-yet-another-attempt-to-ban-them-from-bathrooms", "title_hash": "a884384907270fa46fa87007e9f122f7", "summary": "Through testimony and a Capitol bathroom sit-in, trans Texans, activists and a constable argued that the state’s latest bathroom bill doesn’t make anyone safer.\nThe post Trans Texans Face Yet Another Attempt To Ban Them From Bathrooms appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Transgender Texans, activists, and even a constable made similar arguments over and over again on Friday: The state’s latest bathroom bill makes no one safer.

Dozens of people testified against the bill in the House State Affairs Committee before around 50 local activists staged a sit-in at a Capitol bathroom in opposition to the bill that would block trans people from using the bathroom that aligns with their gender at schools or government buildings.

They weren’t without their detractors: One man suggested that trans people are operating under a similar delusion to those who think they are Jedis, the fictional characters from Star Wars.

“A frog doesn’t become a cat, a cat doesn’t become a dog,” the man reasoned. “A man doesn’t become a woman. That’s not hate. It’s reality.”

One woman pointed out the ways that men and women were fundamentally different, not biologically, but sanitarily.

“[Women] don’t come in contact with their body when they use the restroom, and men do,” she said. “I don’t want to touch the same things. It’s germs that are packed away into clothes. I just don’t want to do that. I’m a real female, and I want privacy in locker rooms.”

Though some in the state have argued that the bill is needed to keep cisgender women safe, others have questioned what threats the bill even addresses.

Travis County Constable Stacy Suits testified against the bill Friday, noting that in nine years stationed outside a court bathroom, he had never encountered an issue.

“We don’t want to be the potty police,” he told the committee, adding that he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to spot who was trans and who wasn’t anyway.

Senate Bill 8 is among more than 16 anti-trans bathroom proposals filed in the Texas legislature in the past decade. Though those have never been signed into law, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has put a bathroom bill on two special session agendas after it failed to pass the regular session. SB 8 has already passed the Senate. Its House counterpart, House Bill 52, which was under discussion Friday, is expected to pass.

Sixty-eight percent of transgender people report having been harassed in public bathrooms, according to Advocates for Trans Equality, the nation’s largest transgender rights group.

“For nearly a decade, bills like this one have painted trans people as threats, but the truth is, we are the ones consistently under attack and disproportionately impacted by violence and shelters and prisons and beyond. This bathroom bigotry does not protect women and girls,” said Raquel Willis, founder of the advocacy organization Gender Liberation Movement and a national voice on transgender rights, at the hearing.

Willis added that SB 8 echoed the segregationist policies her Black ancestors faced.

“I think of my mother’s story of not being served in a restaurant because of her Blackness,” she said. “I imagine the white woman who denied her service would have blocked her from the restroom at that time, too.”

SB 8 would also prevent Texas prisons from housing transgender detainees in accordance with their gender, a rule that likely violates the federal Prison Rape Elimination Act, which requires prisons and jails to place trans people on a case-by-case basis.

The bill institutes a $5,000 fine for a first offense and a $25,000 fine for a second.

“I know that I’m about to get so many calls in the next two weeks, and people are going to say, ‘Why do you still live there?’” said Andrea Segovia, senior field and policy adviser for the Transgender Education Network of Texas, an advocacy organization. Segovia’s husband and child are both transgender.

“There’s a deep pride of being a Texan, no matter that your state government is trying to erase you or degrade you or cause harm to people that you love,” she added. “Trans Texans are still really proud to be Texans.”

Two hours after the hearing adjourned, 50 Texans took the Capitol bathroom to show their disdain for the bill. Approximately nine of them staged a sit-in inside the bathrooms while the rest protested outside the bathrooms.

The action was led by Gender Liberation Movement, which held a similar protest in Washington, D.C., last December, where 15 people were arrested. Friday’s protest wrapped up without arrests, even as protesters occupied the bathroom for more than an hour, according to Eliel Cruz, an organizer of the protest.

The post Trans Texans Face Yet Another Attempt To Ban Them From Bathrooms appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Trans, Texans, Face, Yet, Another, Attempt, Ban, Them, From, Bathrooms", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/shutterstock-gendered-bathrooms.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/29/trans-texans-face-another-bathroom-ban-attempt/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-31 03:40:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "72331", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Finally \"Get Into Golf\" — A Primer for Newbies", "title_slug": "how-to-finally-get-into-golf-a-primer-for-newbies", "title_hash": "86071a8b3132f94638de52ed388ccb13", "summary": "Everything You Need to Know (and Own) to Begin Your Golf Journey", "content": "Getting into golf as an adult can be daunting. It seems like everyone on the green already somehow knows what they’re doing—and learning on the fly before a business round or trip with your in-laws only adds to the pressure. But learning to golf shouldn’t be a stressful experience; instead, it’s a chance to get in tune with yourself and foster a new healthy hobby.\r\n“Golf is a lifelong sport. It is where most athletes from more strenuous sports end up satisfying their competitive nature and ambition for lifelong learning,” explains Bradford Curren, Head Golf Professional at Glen Arbour Golf Club. “Golf is more challenging mentally than physically; the desire for improvement grows with each moment you exceed your own expectations on a well-played shot. The moments witnessing your potential rise in reality as the ball flies, rolls or ends up better than you ever envisioned is the addictive part of the game.”\r\nRELATED: Golf Bag Essentials\r\nHere’s what you need to know about playing golf as a beginner—and exactly what you’ll need to get started according to Curren:\r\n\r\nHow Do You Actually Start Playing Golf?\r\n\r\nStart at the Driving Range or Simulators\r\nGolf activity centres generate more revenue worldwide than green grass facilities, look into the local driving ranges, simulators and miniature golf facilities in your area. Seek guidance from a golf professional, build your swing and ability to hole out on the practice facility before booking your first tee time. When you are ready to try a real golf course for the first time, start with close friends you are comfortable around or a group of players in a similar situation to you. Never forget that you only perform to your full potential when you are having fun. Golf is a game, enjoy it.\r\nDon’t Shy Away From Hiring a Coach\r\n“Your past successes and other athletic experiences will only hold you back if you believe you can learn the game on your own or from the tips your friends offer,” explains Curren. “Golf is by far the most technically challenging sport that absolutely requires a swing coach for any amount of success.”\r\nAccording to Curren, there are only two known golfers to ever make it to the PGA Tour who never acknowledged help from a swing coach: Lee Travino and Bubba Watson. “Golf is the only game where figuring it out on your own will surely make you look silly and stick out more than the flashiest outfit on property, even if you become a PGA Tour winner,” he explains.\r\n“The club professional at your local golf course will surely have golf experience and advice that will help make learning the game far more enjoyable, no matter how successful and confident you are in other aspects of life,” adds Curren. “If you are not learning, you will soon be losing.”\r\n\r\nHow Long Will It Take to Feel Comfortable?\r\n\r\nAccording to Curren, you’ll never feel comfortable with your golf game if you spend too much time reading about the game or watching YouTube videos on the best form and technique. “The only way to feel comfortable on the golf course is to go out and learn from personal experience,” says Curren. “Slowly building a genuine self-belief that you have put in the work to guarantee the outcome you are expecting.”\r\n“This is one of the most humbling games and confidence is far too closely associated with arrogance to ever expect success on the golf course,” he says. “The game of golf is about hard work, self-belief and trust in your process. You must never be too confident in order to properly select your shots on the golf course.”\r\nCurren says that new golfers and experienced golfers alike need to be humble enough to play all your golf shots directed at safe targets, finding a focus so deep that your subconscious mind physically executes the motion of a golf swing without your thoughts ever wavering from visualizing the shot you are playing until the ball is struck and the results become reality of life, out of your control. “Accept the outcome, learn from the experience and try to do better the next time,” he says.\r\n\r\nWhat Gear Is Actually Required to Start Playing Golf?\r\n\r\nThe number of clubs and additional gear can seem like a big barrier to entry — but Curren says starting small and growing as your game grows is the way to go. He listed the top gear from most to least important below.\r\n“You will only need the top three items for miniature putt or a practice green. To start going to the driving range and learning the golf swing, you will need the top ten items,” he says. “Before showing up to a tee time on a real golf course, you should own everything listed in the top fifteen items.”\r\n“Please do not attach any expectations to your round other than a fun day outside with friends, until you have acquired the top twenty items,” he adds. “Once you own everything on the list, you will be considered a golfer by the rest of the community.”\r\nTee time (host facility)Golf ball(s)PutterBeverage (water or substitute) Sunscreen/weather appropriate outfitSand wedge Pitching wedgeDriver TeesGolf shoes (athletic sneakers minimum) Golf bag7-iron Hybrid/rescue clubFairway metal/wood Golf glove9-iron 8-ironGap/approach wedge Lob wedgeDistance measuring device (GPS/laser)6-iron5-ironDriving iron or 2nd fairway/hybridHeadwear, sunglasses or style piece Headcovers\r\nYou don’t need to buy all of this at once, nor should you buy everything brand new (unless you have deep pockets), but once you have the gear and some fundamentals of swing technique, you’re ready to start having fun on the course.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nBest Golf Shoes for MenBest Gifts for GolfersWhy Pickleball Blew Up in Popularity", "keywords": "How, Finally, Get, Into, Golf, —, Primer, for, Newbies", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "84", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-finally-get-into-golf-a-primer-for-newbies/askmen-lead-image-2x1-2-1756309796.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-to-finally-get-into-golf-a-primer-for-newbies.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-29 05:05:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71913", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Trump Hijacked the Courts: Here’s How to Fix It", "title_slug": "trump-hijacked-the-courts-heres-how-to-fix-it", "title_hash": "ef3e92936fd730b7159cd572fbef5194", "summary": "Conservatives have a political hold on the federal judiciary, but there’s a path to rebuilding the courts. \nThe post Trump Hijacked the Courts: Here’s How to Fix It appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode of Boom! Lawyered Summer Session, Imani and Jess unpack the current landscape of the federal courts and what the conservative capture of the judiciary means for fighting President Donald Trump’s authoritarian agenda. They are joined by Alliance for Justice President Rachel Rossi, who highlights dangerous new Trump appointees and explains how progressives can win back the federal courts—yes, really.

It’s no secret that Christian conservatives are coming for Obergefell.

Imani is relaunching her column! AngryBlackLady Chronicles will drop in September 2025. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first.

The post Trump Hijacked the Courts: Here’s How to Fix It appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Trump, Hijacked, the, Courts:, Here’s, How, Fix", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.youtube.com/embed/7eQrD8_xFQ8?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/28/trump-hijacked-the-courts-heres-how-to-fix-it/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 15:17:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71914", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Anti-Abortion Groups Have A New Strategy To End Telehealth Abortion", "title_slug": "anti-abortion-groups-have-a-new-strategy-to-end-telehealth-abortion", "title_hash": "706d373da1760510ed867ec31df4f913", "summary": "Abortion opponents argue that telehealth abortion is making it easier to force people to have an abortion. Experts say the real picture of reproductive coercion looks quite different.\nThe post Anti-Abortion Groups Have A New Strategy To End Telehealth Abortion appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Conservatives are testing a new argument in their legal efforts to end telehealth abortion: People using mail-order medication are being coerced into ending their pregnancies.

Two wrongful death lawsuits out of Texas, both filed this past month in federal court, allege that women were forced to take abortion pills prescribed by out-of-state telehealth providers.

In one case, a woman alleges that abortion medications were secretly mixed into her hot chocolate and caused her to miscarry. (The local police department investigated those allegations and said they were unfounded.) In the other, a man claims his girlfriend was forced to take medications by her mother and estranged husband. Both plaintiffs are represented by Jonathan Mitchell, a leader in crafting Texas’ anti-abortion policies and the state’s former solicitor general.

The suits represent a new phase in the broader effort to stop people in Texas and other states with abortion bans from having abortion pills mailed to them. Plaintiffs suggest that online health services come with insufficient safeguards, arguing that they have made it easier for people to fraudulently obtain medication, pretending to be someone else and then forcing pregnant patients into taking pills.

Previous efforts to block people from getting abortions have included a campaign spearheaded by the anti-abortion group Texas Right to Life to get aggrieved men to claim that abortions violated their rights as parents, as well as a civil suit in which one woman’s ex-partner targeted the friends who helped her get an abortion.

The latest lawsuits go after health providers. One of them names as defendants the telehealth organization Aid Access and its founder Dutch physician Dr. Rebecca Gomperts, in addition to the plaintiff’s alleged ex-partner. The second one targets California-based Dr. Remy Coeytaux, who the plaintiff alleges prescribed and mailed abortion medication to his girlfriend.

“You see abortion opponents realizing everyone believes they’re misogynistic or opposed to women, so there’s an effort to change the narrative,” said Mary Ziegler, an abortion law historian at the University of California, Davis.

Though few studies look at how often people are coerced into having abortions, existing data indicate the situation is quite rare—and certainly less common than the opposite phenomenon of patients being forced to stay pregnant against their will.

Abortion opponents, however, say the problem of coercion is ubiquitous, so much so that laws and courts should target the health-care providers making medication available through telehealth. In a legislative hearing for a Texas anti-abortion bill, activist Mark Lee Dickson argued that the threat of coerced abortions—and telehealth’s role in facilitating them—justified specific laws going after medical providers, such as a bill making its way through the legislature that would let private citizens sue anyone who mails abortion pills into the state.

Data doesn’t support that narrative. One 2011 paper suggested that in most cases, partners were on the same page about a pregnant person’s abortion choice. In cases where a male partner disagreed, he was more likely to prevent someone from seeking an abortion than to compel one. And most people who get abortions appear to believe it is the right choice for them: Other research, including a 2020 study, shows that the vast majority of people who get abortions do not regret the decision.

Health-care providers said they more often see patients navigating the opposite form of reproductive coercion: People are seeking abortions when their partners are trying to force them to stay pregnant.

“We know there’s a lot of violence against women and that takes different forms,” said Dr. Angel Foster, who runs the Massachusetts Medication Abortion Project, a telehealth practice that prescribes and mails abortion pills to people across the country, including in states with bans. “What we’ve seen more than anything else is our patients are making a decision to have an abortion so they’re not connected to a violent partner. We hear that every day from our patients, and we also hear from our patients whose partners are trying to force them to continue pregnancies.”

Foster said that her staff has seen men attempt to fill out forms asserting that they are seeking medication on behalf of women in their lives. These requests are rejected. Only people seeking abortion medication for their own use and who have certified that they will be the ones taking the pills are able to receive a prescription. If someone fills out the form saying they are seeking medication for their own use—but if something in their information seems off—Foster’s staff will engage in “Google sleuthing” to make sure they’ve represented themselves accurately, she said.

“When you care for 30,000 patients, if someone wants to willfully lie and manipulate the system, that is possible, but we’ve put a lot of screenings in place,” she said. “I feel really confident about the systems we’ve developed.”

Still, abortion services—and particularly telehealth providers—vary in terms of what precautions they take to ensure that patients seeking abortion are doing so of their own volition.

Standards set by the National Abortion Federation, a trade association for abortion providers, encourage clinicians to obtain “informed consent” from patients, ensuring that they have a chance to make clear that having an abortion is their choice. But clinics can set their own policies on how to accomplish that.

Patients seeking care through Aid Access—one of the largest telehealth abortion options in the country, focused on providing care for people living under abortion bans—fill out an intake form before receiving a prescription. The form specifically asks patients if they are being coerced to take medication. Patients must also attest that they are seeking medication for their own use.

But typically, patients don’t communicate in-depth with the prescribing physician, including by phone or email.

Gomperts, the founder of the organization and a defendant in one of Mitchell’s lawsuits, did not respond to multiple requests for comment. But one California-based doctor who prescribes through Aid Access said it would be “impractical” to speak in depth with every patient—whether by phone, email, or video conference—adding that doing so would take much more time, in turn limiting how many physicians can care for. It could also alienate patients concerned about privacy. Aid Access sends medication to about 6,000 patients across the United States each month.

“You need to trust the person reaching out to you is the person seeking your services,” said the doctor, who asked that her name be withheld because of the lawsuits filed against her colleagues and her fear of being subsequently targeted. “The rate of coercion is extremely small, but not zero, and we just want to be able to help many, many people. We acknowledge that there will be some people that lie and coerce their partners.”

Often, an intake form can be a safe place for patients to share if they are being forced to seek an abortion, said Dr. Nisha Verma, an OB-GYN in Atlanta who sees patients in person, which allows her to talk to them individually about their medical needs. Some patients she has seen have shared that a partner is trying to make them terminate their pregnancies. More often, she said, patients experiencing coercion are being prevented from taking contraception or forced to stay pregnant.

In her practice, she offers patients a chance to disclose any sensitive information in the intake forms and in one-on-one counseling. But even if a health provider only offers a form, that can be enough to screen for possible abuse or coercion, as long as clinicians make sure to follow up on any red flags, she said.

“You can argue that an intake form isn’t useless in terms of screening if that’s what a practice has capacity for, and making sure you’re following up on that,” she said.

But for some, that is a difficult tradeoff to make.

“We did have a major concern about people being able to just order medications like this online and receive them,” said Debra Lynch, a nurse practitioner who started her telehealth practice because she believed other shield law providers—including Aid Access—didn’t offer sufficient one-on-one counseling between patients and providers.

Her organization, Her Safe Harbor, prioritizes phone calls with patients so that staff can do their best to verify that patients are receiving medications for their own use and because they want to use them.

“Part of our regular screening process in our phone calls is to ask them, are they feeling any type of pressure to be doing this, how comfortable do they feel,” Lynch said. “Not that anyone has to justify an abortion for any reason. Even if it’s just because she wants it, it’s fine. We do want to make sure it’s their choice.”

The post Anti-Abortion Groups Have A New Strategy To End Telehealth Abortion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Up to 1,000 people in Maine may lose access to primary care at the end of September after a federal judge ruled on Aug. 25, 2025 that the Trump administration does not have to restore Medicaid funding to a network of health-care clinics in the state. The underlying lawsuit over a cut to its Medicaid reimbursements will proceed for now.

Maine Family Planning sued the government on July 16, 2025, with the help of the nonprofit abortion advocacy group the Center for Reproductive Rights, after learning that a provision of President Donald Trump’s “big, beautiful bill” would strip its Medicaid funding.

Maine Family Planning is the largest network of sexual and reproductive health providers in the state, said Olivia Pennington, the organization’s director of advocacy and community engagement. It currently operates 18 clinics and one mobile medical unit, serving a patient roster of roughly 10,000. About half its patients are covered by Medicaid.

The Maine nonprofit provides abortion care, but the Hyde Amendment has barred abortion providers from receiving federal dollars for abortions since the 1970s, except in rare exceptions. Medicaid patients who get care at Maine Family Planning have typically gone there for annual exams, HIV testing, and cancer screenings.

As a result, the Medicaid patients who rely on three of the network’s rural clinic locations for primary care may no longer be able to access those essential preventive services, according to Maine Family Planning. A Republican-backed law—seen as targeting Planned Parenthood because it provides abortions where they remain legal—is having broader impacts on the reproductive health-care landscape.

Targeting abortion providers

Judge Lance Walker, a Maine federal district judge appointed by Trump during his first presidency, ruled that the nonprofit organization failed to show that it would likely succeed in the case. This is one of the criteria judges consider when deciding whether to take preliminary action in a lawsuit before it is tried.

In his ruling, Walker cited Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the 2022 Supreme Court case that ended the federal right to abortion. Since abortion is no longer considered a constitutional right, Walker wrote, Maine Family Planning’s claim that Congress unconstitutionally overstepped in passing the “big, beautiful bill” is unlikely to win in court.

“We’re disappointed,” said George Hill, Maine Family Planning’s president and CEO, of Walker’s ruling against a preliminary injunction.

“This particular provision in [the bill] is aimed directly at abortion providers, and basically aimed at their sources of support from Medicaid as a way of preventing them from providing abortion care,” Hill added.

The anti-abortion “big, beautiful bill” provision that prompted Maine Family Planning’s lawsuit was widely reported as a targeted action to strip Planned Parenthood and its nationwide network of clinics of all their federal funding. And so far, Planned Parenthood appears to be facing the most outsized impact: The organization has said 200 of its clinics are at risk of closure.

But at least two smaller clinic networks—including Maine Family Planning—have also been impacted, Rewire News Group found. That’s because for a year beginning July 4, 2025, the bill strips federal Medicaid dollars from nonprofit organizations that are “primarily engaged in family planning services, reproductive health, and related medical care,” provide abortions outside of exceptions for rape, incest, or for the physical health of the pregnant person, and received more than $800,000 in Medicaid reimbursements between October 2022 and September 2023.

The cumulative fallout of the provision, experts and advocates told RNG, will make it harder for patients to get a wider variety of health care. Resulting delays in preventive care—like Pap smears to check for cervical cancer, or testing and treatment for sexually-transmitted infections like chlamydia or HIV—could mean patients will be sicker by the time they get in to see a provider, they said.

Maine Family Planning has already decided to stop accepting new primary care patients with Medicaid at its three clinics in “medically-underserved areas of the state” that provide the care. And it may soon have to make tougher decisions.

“If we don’t get any relief between now and the end of September, we will have to start discharging [existing] primary care patients” covered by Medicaid, Hill told Rewire News Group.

Hill estimated that would be about 1,000 people.

It’s not just Planned Parenthood

Signed into law on July 4, 2025, Trump’s “big, beautiful bill” legislated sweeping changes to federal programs that previously incentivized green energy, helped families afford food, and expanded health-care access. Some of the largest cuts were made to Medicaid, which combines federal and state funds to provide health insurance for roughly 78 million low-income people nationwide.

The bill added work requirements and additional eligibility checks as part of its attempt to cut $1 trillion in health spending over the next ten years. It also increased the overall financial and bureaucratic burden on states’ Medicaid programs. More than 10 million people nationwide could lose their health insurance coverage by 2034 as a result, according to recent Congressional Budget Office estimates.

“This bill is incredibly devastating to not just Planned Parenthood, but to the whole abortion access landscape,” said Brittany Fonteno, president and CEO of the National Abortion Federation (NAF), a professional association for abortion providers. “The bill was targeting Planned Parenthood, but we know that it will have a really seismic impact on independent abortion providers and others within the community.”

When the bill was being negotiated in Congress, Pennington said, it was hard to know whether it would affect Maine Family Planning.

“But when it was signed and finalized, we really sort of knew concretely that we were going to be deeply impacted from this,” she said.

Because about half of Maine Family Planning patients use Medicaid, according to Pennington, the organization’s reimbursements—about $1.9 million a year—put it well above the $800,000 threshold set by the GOP’s budget reconciliation bill.

Medicaid accounts for roughly 20 percent of the organization’s annual budget.

“This is a huge chunk of our annual revenue,” Pennington said.

For many patients, Pennington said, “we are also their first and only health-care provider that they see in a year.”

For the Medicaid patients Maine Family Planning is still seeing, the organization is racking up claims in the hopes that it may eventually be able to be reimbursed in the future. Hill said that the organization has up to a year to bill the program for past visits should the courts restore its Medicaid funding.

But if it isn’t, “we are going to be forced to make some difficult decisions,” Pennington said. This could include closing clinics, reducing services, or decreasing patient numbers.

“If we do, many of our patients will have no place left, no place to turn,” Pennington added.

Steamrolling ‘an already profoundly-broken health-care system’

A network of health-care clinics in Massachusetts is in a similar position.

Health Imperatives, a nonprofit operating seven health clinics in the state, found out it would be impacted by the budget bill’s anti-abortion provision a few weeks after the spending package became law, when state officials informed the organization it could no longer bill Medicaid. Health Imperatives President and CEO Julia Kehoe said the organization was told that the Trump administration had named Health Imperatives in a court filing as an example of a health organization that would be affected by the cuts. The filing was meant to demonstrate that the “big, beautiful bill” provision was not designed to solely target Planned Parenthood.

Health Imperatives sees about 10,000 people at its clinics each year; about 3,000 of them are on Medicaid, Kehoe said. In addition to direct sexual and reproductive health care, including abortions, Health Imperatives operates a domestic violence shelter, a rape crisis center, mental health care for and other programming for people “who fall through the cracks of the mainstream systems of care,” Kehoe said.

“One of the things that we’re most concerned about is that this most recent action is going to have an impact not just on the people we serve in our clinics, but on the people who receive services from us in the other programs as well,” she added.

Kehoe estimated that Medicaid reimbursements account for 8 to 10 percent of the organization’s annual budget, or roughly $1.8 million. Like Maine Family Planning, Health Imperatives said it could also be forced to close clinics or reduce the number of patients it can see if it can’t make up its anticipated funding losses.

Health Imperatives has yet to join the growing body of lawsuits challenging new cuts to abortion providers. But it’s keeping its options open, Kehoe said.

Meanwhile, Health Imperatives is working to try to offset the expected loss in funding. Kehoe said Massachusetts Gov. Maura Healy’s recently-introduced supplemental funding package could—if passed by the state legislature—help close the gap. The nonprofit is also trying to increase donations from the private sector, she said. They typically raise about $1.5 million a year. But to completely offset the “big, beautiful bill” cuts, the organization would essentially have to double its fundraising over the next few months.

“As it is, we’re raising money to continue to provide the highest-quality health services in one of the most expensive states in the country,” Kehoe said. “It’s a big lift.”

Many other independent reproductive health clinics that provide abortions don’t appear to have been impacted by the legislation, Rewire News Group’s reporting found. Their Medicaid reimbursements likely don’t surpass the $800,000 annual threshold outlined in the law.

But even clinics that weren’t directly impacted by the targeted funding cut will likely face its consequences at some point, Fonteno said. She added that even though Planned Parenthood is the country’s largest abortion provider, independent abortion providers deliver the majority of care in the U.S., especially for abortions that happen later in pregnancy.

Under federal law, Medicaid plans must cover certain family planning services including contraceptives, STI testing, and routine exams. But providers don’t have to accept Medicaid plans, and research shows doctors are less likely to accept Medicaid than private health insurance. That means patients with already-limited financial resources have fewer provider choices.

Private fundraising and support from abortion funds—organizations that help people pay for abortion-related health care and travel—might help offset some of the losses. But it’s unlikely that they “will be enough to fully meet the need and fill in the massive gap that will be created from this legislation,” Fonteno said. “It’s like taking a bulldozer to an already profoundly-broken health-care system.”

Other reproductive health care could be on the chopping block

The Trump spending bill’s long-term impacts on reproductive health more broadly are still unknown, experts told RNG. But at a minimum, they said, the stricter eligibility standards and onerous work requirements in the law mean fewer people will be insured.

“Medicaid is one of the most important sources of sexual and reproductive health-care services for millions of people of reproductive age,” said Cat Duffy, a policy analyst at the National Health Law Program, a nonprofit health-care advocacy organization. “Something that’s particularly cruel about this bill is that it not only makes health-care coverage harder to get, it also makes it easier to lose.”

As a result, patients will have less consistent access to care. That will have an outsized impact on low-income people, people of color, and others who have historically faced barriers to care, said Megan Kavanaugh, a principal research scientist at the Guttmacher Institute.

Additionally, patients may lose access to the highly-specialized reproductive health care they receive at Planned Parenthood and similar clinics if they can’t be seen there, Kavanaugh said, meaning the overall quality of Medicaid patients’ reproductive health care could decline.

Some states are reporting that the “big, beautiful bill” will worsen budget deficits. And as one expert told the news site Axios, Medicaid programs are a place states could try to cut from. It’s unclear what coverage areas would be most at risk, Duffy said—some benefits and programs must remain covered under existing federal law. But it’s possible that some reproductive health-care programs or coverage could end up on the chopping block.

That’s especially true for states participating in Medicaid expansion, an Affordable Care Act provision that increases eligibility and coverage. These states faced harsher requirements and penalties in Trump’s spending package than the handful of states that have not opted to improve their eligibility requirements and coverage options.

Medicaid expansion, which increased access to prenatal and postpartum care, has played a crucial role in the fight against maternal mortality, Duffy said. And women in Medicaid expansion states have higher levels of both overall contraceptive and long-acting birth control use, Kavanaugh added.

“States are in deeply unprecedented territory,” Duffy added.

So is Maine Family Planning, which opened its doors in 1971.

Hill, the organization’s CEO and president, said it is still weighing its options in its lawsuit against the Trump administration’s cuts with its legal team—including appealing Walker’s decision. In the meantime, Maine Family Planning—like Health Imperatives in Massachusetts—is trying to fundraise to make up some of the nearly $2 million in federal funding it stands to lose. He added that fundraising alone “is not sustainable.”

“You know,” Hill said, “continuing to put this level of pressure on a health-care infrastructure in a state that is one of the most rural in the country is really unconscionable, I think.”

The post Some 1,000 in Maine Could Lose Access to Primary Care Following Court Ruling appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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$\"choosing$ Nightgame beginners: Learn to conquer approach anxiety, ditch cringe openers, and master venue calibration for confident, engaging interactions in clubs and bars.

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$\"let$ The “Let Me See Your Hands” routine is a simple bit of banter (lifted straight from improv comedy) that lets you rope women deeper into your seductions.

When you first approach a girl, you need to achieve a few things in relatively quick succession:

\n\n\n

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$\"dealing$ Not every girl will eat up your sex talk. What do you do when girls give a neutral or negative response? Persist, move on, or – change it up. It depends!

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

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$\"making$ Use the non-invitation, a playful chase frame, to suggest a date without the risk of a direct rejection.

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They rarely walk into your life announcing their intentions. Instead, they weave their…", "content": "Narcissists are not always obvious. They rarely walk into your life announcing their intentions. Instead, they weave their…", "keywords": "Narcissists, Often, Say, These, Things, the, People, They, Claim, Love", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/ChatGPT-Image-Aug-27-2025-03_41_12-AM-e1756251713929.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/narcissists-often-say-these-12-things-to-the-people-they-claim-to-love/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71299", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What It Really Means When Intimacy Happens on the First Date", "title_slug": "what-it-really-means-when-intimacy-happens-on-the-first-date", "title_hash": "a3df726e2d846699a1f270a64513f380", "summary": "First dates are supposed to be simple. Dinner, a movie, maybe a walk afterward. But sometimes, the chemistry…", "content": "First dates are supposed to be simple. Dinner, a movie, maybe a walk afterward. But sometimes, the chemistry…", "keywords": "What, Really, Means, When, Intimacy, Happens, the, First, Date", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/IMG_8917.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/what-it-really-means-when-intimacy-happens-on-the-first-date/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71298", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Reasons Couples Should Never Sleep in Separate Bedrooms", "title_slug": "7-reasons-couples-should-never-sleep-in-separate-bedrooms", "title_hash": "1de6547def8be724b931196bd57b5e1e", "summary": "On paper, separate bedrooms sound harmless. One partner snores, the other kicks, someone likes silence, the other likes…", "content": "On paper, separate bedrooms sound harmless. One partner snores, the other kicks, someone likes silence, the other likes…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Couples, Should, Never, Sleep, Separate, Bedrooms", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/c65e2878-95b7-490c-87fb-16e87e2f8d7c.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/7-reasons-couples-should-never-sleep-in-separate-bedrooms/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71294", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Debunking Common Misconceptions About Gay Men", "title_slug": "debunking-common-misconceptions-about-gay-men", "title_hash": "54ebc49bb693c8e2ff462b8a0623091a", "summary": "Let's Examine 7 Common Myths About Gay Men It's Time We All Stopped Believing", "content": "In a world obsessed with labels and stereotypes, it can be hard to defy the misconceptions that society has placed upon us. \r\nThis is particularly true in the LGBTQ+ community, where members are judged and often persecuted through cherry-picked religious passages, flawed and outdated research, as well as inaccurate media representations of what it means to be queer in America. \r\nOne simple conversation with any gay man will reveal that perceptions are often rooted in ignorance and long-perpetuated ideas of what and who they are, despite their oppressors having little or no interaction with them in any capacity. \r\nRELATED: Common Questions About Gay Guys, Answered \r\nTo debunk the most popular misjudgments that gay men face and how to overcome them, we chatted with three prominent mental health professionals who have woven their own life experience into their work. Here’s what they had to say: \r\n\r\nThe Most Common Misconceptions About Gay Men \r\n\r\nMisconception No. 1: Being Gay Is a Choice\r\nDespite Lady Gaga’s mega-popular and soul-baring “Born This Way” anthem, many people are reluctant to believe that members of the LGBTQ+ community are simply born the way that they are. \r\nBut the question gay men like to pose in response to those who analyze their very existence is: Why would gay men choose to be part of a group that is often shunned and ostracized? Wouldn’t it be easier to be straight if sexuality was a choice? \r\n“This one makes my blood boil,” admits specialist psychotherapist Gino Cosme. “Half of Americans still believe this, despite literally decades of genetic research.”\r\n“Almost 500,000 people's DNA were analyzed in a massive 2019 study that shows sexual orientation involves complex genetic factors happening before birth,” he adds. “There’s also hormonal and environmental factors. When straight people say we ‘chose’ to be gay, they're basically admitting they've never questioned their own attraction.”\r\nMisconception No. 2: Gay Men All Want the Same Lifestyle\r\nDrug use and circuit parties are certainly rampant in the community, but it’s unfair to paint with broad strokes and assume that every gay man takes part. \r\n“This stereotype partly comes from decades of media portraying gay men in very narrow ways, usually the party-going, fashion-obsessed side of our community,” explains Nick White, life coach and owner of The Happy Human Project. “Plus, bars and clubs were some of the only safe spaces for gay men to gather, so the nightlife scene became the most visible part of queer culture.”\r\nThe reality is that gay men’s interests are just as varied as their heterosexual counterparts. While some enjoy nightlife, others prefer hiking on a Sunday morning after sipping coffee with friends. \r\n“Your sexuality isn’t your hobby list,” White adds. \r\nMisconception No. 3: All Gay Men Are Sex Addicts\r\nThere has long been a sexist assumption that all men are hornier than women. So if doing sex math, two men will naturally want to partake in bedroom activities more than a man and a woman. But many people take this assumption even further and essentially paint gay guys as akin to “sex addicts.”\r\n“This [also] comes from flawed research from the ’70s,” stresses Cosme. “Researchers literally only surveyed guys at bathhouses and cruising spots in San Francisco. That's like studying American eating habits by only talking to people at competitive eating contests.”\r\nCosme links specifically to a large-meta analysis that shows 50 percent of gay men only had one partner or none in a year with a median lifetime number of partners at 19. “This is not exactly the sex-crazed narrative they love pushing.” \r\n“For decades, homosexuality was criminalized and pathologized, treated as a behavior to police rather than a human variation to understand,” adds White. “That framing stuck and it’s still reflected when people say ‘what you do in the bedroom.’” \r\nRELATED: Not All Gay Men Are Hypersexual\r\n“Gay men build relationships, marriages, and communities in the same way straight people do — our sexuality isn't just who we sleep with.”\r\nMisconception No. 4: Gay Relationships Are Disposable\r\nWhile some gay relationships may not be as conventional due to openness or even polyamory, that doesn’t make them any less loving or fulfilling. In fact, modern research suggests the opposite. \r\n“Studies show same-sex couples are just as capable of healthy, long-lasting relationships as straight couples, sometimes even reporting higher satisfaction because of shared gender experience,” shares White. “The stereotype comes from the media focusing on hookup culture, but that’s not the whole story.”\r\nCosme echoes these sentiments, pointing to longitudinal data from Stanford that reveals how once marriage equality arrived, same-sex couples were just as and often more stable than straight couples. \r\n“But this myth stuck because we couldn't even legally marry until recently. It's kind of hard to prove relationship stability when the law won't recognize your relationship exists,” White adds.\r\nMisconception No. 5: All Gay Men Are Effeminate\r\nOne stop in a local gym can easily dispel this mischaracterization, but for small-town and often small-minded people who don’t interact with diverse groups of individuals, it can be an ignorant and narrow-minded interpretation. \r\n“This myth just goes to show how much misogyny is behind homophobia,” says Cosme. “The logic is: Nontraditional gender expression equals weak. Plenty of us are masculine, plenty are fem, and most are somewhere in between.”\r\n“What's sad is seeing how the gay community has internalized this. Studies show many gay men actively distance themselves from feminine guys because we've bought into the idea that feminine equals lesser,” he adds. \r\nMisconception No. 6: Men Become Gay Due to Childhood Abuse\r\nDespite framing their sexuality not as a choice, this misconception is a pernicious one that casts gay men’s stories as inherently tragic, rather than full of love and joy. \r\nThe sad reality is that the opposite of the misconception is true: Gay men are more likely to be abused as children because they’re different — and easy targets. \r\n“This is probably the cruelest one because it weaponizes real trauma,” shares Cosme. “We get targeted for being different, not because abuse turns kids gay. The causation flows backward: Kids show early signs of difference, bullies pick up on it, abuse follows.”\r\nRELATED: How to Support a Partner Who Was Abused as a Child \r\nMisconception No. 7: Being Gay Is Somehow Problematic\r\nWhile straight people may exacerbate this issue, Casey Gamboni, LMFT, owner and CEO of Chicago-based Friend of Dorothy Therapy Network. divulges that a shocking number of gay-identifying clients believe their homosexuality is somehow to blame for the problems in their life. \r\n“It wasn’t that long ago that LGBTQ+ identity was considered a pathology in therapy spaces,” he notes. “Until 1973, homosexuality was listed in the DSM as a diagnosis.”\r\nWhile this diagnosis has since been removed, Gamboni says, “Its influence shaped clinical practice. Many therapy training programs still operate within cis-heteronormative frameworks and queer and trans clients often enter therapy having internalized the messages that once labeled them disordered.”\r\nUnfortunately, just removing homosexuality from the DSM didn’t remove prejudice about gay people from the minds of some mental health professionals. \r\n“When coupled with a medical model that demands a clearly defined ‘presenting problem,’ clinicians, unintentionally or not, can still conflate identity with distress, reinforcing the false idea that being LGBTQ+ is wrong,” Gamboni says. \r\n“For queer clients, the distress that brings them to therapy is not about their identity itself, more about internalized stigma, oppression, and familial/societal rejection, along with presenting problems that exist regardless of someone’s sexual orientation,” he adds. \r\n\r\nHow to Combat Misconceptions About Gay Men\r\n\r\nThough everyone relates to their sexuality in different ways, it may feel as if gay men have an underlying responsibility or obligation to combat the aforementioned misconceptions. But how, especially in a tumultuous time when many people seem increasingly reluctant to surround themselves with diversity, can someone change ignorant minds or, at the very least, demand respect? \r\n“I don’t think ignoring [people] is the answer,” argues White. “The more diverse stories we share — gay men as dads, leaders, creatives, athletes—the harder it is for old myths to stick.”\r\nRELATED: What Straight Dads Could Learn About Fatherhood from Gay Dads \r\n“It’s about visibility, nuance, and challenging lazy generalizations when they pop up. Some people will never change their minds, and that’s fine. We don’t need everyone, we just need enough truth out there that the myths lose their grip,” he adds. \r\n“Research does show education can reduce bias, but only when people actually want to learn,” shares Cosme, who believes that change must start from the top through institutions and work its way down. “It's a waste of time getting into arguments with the homophobes on social media or in the comments section. We should be pushing for campaigns that show our lives without feeding into stereotypes.”\r\nGamboni agrees and is a huge proponent of visibility and having minority voices heard. \r\n“If LGBTQ+ history has taught me anything, it’s that we don’t make progress by staying quiet,” he says, noting that thought-provoking conversations can come in many forms and on many scales, including classrooms, family dinner tables, and larger protests.\r\n “When they are ignorant, we should get louder. We have made progress by resisting and speaking up, all while not letting outdated ideas go unchallenged.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Come Out as Gay Can I Be Religious If I'm Gay?Gay Sex & Dating Slang, Explained", "keywords": "Debunking, Common, Misconceptions, About, Gay, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "73", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-experiences/debunking-common-misconceptions-about-gay-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-38-1756303984.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-experiences/debunking-common-misconceptions-about-gay-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71295", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Breathable Shoes for Sweaty Feet", "title_slug": "best-breathable-shoes-for-sweaty-feet", "title_hash": "0941616623ea3774b1317fd71540ba13", "summary": "Guys don’t think much about how much a pair of shoes may make his feet sweaty. Nor are they usually willing to compromise fashion over function just to have a breathable shoe. This can lead to problems if a guy has a tendency to sweat through his socks every day whether it’s during the high heat of summer or even cooler days throughout the year.\r\nRELATED: Best White Sneakers for Men\r\nExcessive sweating is quite the common foot condition, one that’s more prevalent among men than women, and more frequent in younger adults. It can also exacerbate other health issues such as athlete’s foot, itchiness, toenail fungus and all around funky odors.\r\nAiring your feet is one way of cooling off. Even athletic socks made from moisture-wicking materials can help tame foot perspiration, but let's be realistic. Unless you’re planning to sport sandals for every occasion in life, you’ll need some shoes or sneakers built for sweat control and relief. We can help fit you in the right pair.\r\n\r\nWhat Causes ", "content": "Guys don’t think much about how much a pair of shoes may make his feet sweaty. Nor are they usually willing to compromise fashion over function just to have a breathable shoe. This can lead to problems if a guy has a tendency to sweat through his socks every day whether it’s during the high heat of summer or even cooler days throughout the year.\r\nRELATED: Best White Sneakers for Men\r\nExcessive sweating is quite the common foot condition, one that’s more prevalent among men than women, and more frequent in younger adults. It can also exacerbate other health issues such as athlete’s foot, itchiness, toenail fungus and all around funky odors.\r\nAiring your feet is one way of cooling off. Even athletic socks made from moisture-wicking materials can help tame foot perspiration, but let's be realistic. Unless you’re planning to sport sandals for every occasion in life, you’ll need some shoes or sneakers built for sweat control and relief. We can help fit you in the right pair.\r\n\r\nWhat Causes Sweaty Feet?\r\n\r\nDr. Doug Tumen states that both of your feet have a total of 250,000 sweat glands and they can produce a half a pint of moisture per day. Despite perspiration being our body’s natural way of cooling off, it’s important to understand that too much sweat on any body part can create a cesspool of bacteria, which can develop into severe body odor.\r\nWhat exactly causes sweaty feet? John Hopkins School of Medicine attributes excessive sweat — needing medical diagnosis and prescription treatment — to plantar hyperhidrosis. Podiatry Today also notes that it is an inherited condition that affects three percent of the US population. The blame game doesn’t stop there though. Other factors come into play that may prevent sweat from evaporating among men who don’t suffer the most severe sweaty situations:\r\n\r\n\tEmotional anxiety: Perspiration is a natural response to stress that exerts extra energy to help cool someone down.\r\n\tFootwear fabrics: Polyester, lastic, nylon, and socks made of other synthetic fiber can easily lock moisture in. Opting for merino wool and bamboo socks, moisture wicking socks, or plain old cotton socks can help curb a lot of sweat that causes stinky feet.\r\n\tRigorous exercise: Working out in humid conditions for lengthy periods will elevate body temperatures and bring on the downpour in your shoes.\r\n\tToxicity levels: Foods high in saturated fats and alcohol can trigger sweat and lead to smelly feet.\r\n\r\n\r\nHow to Get Rid of Smelly Feet\r\n\r\nIf you have been wondering about how to get rid of foot odor, it’s not always as easy as just washing and drying. There are a few additional steps you may want to try.\r\n\r\n\tShoe deodorizer: Since shoe odor is developed from bacteria and foot fungus, foot powder, shoe fresheners, deodorizer sprays, and deodorizing balls all work to eliminate the bacteria and fungi to make shoes less smelly while helping protect from athlete's foot and further foot sweating as well.\r\n\tAntiperspirant for feet: Just like armpit sweat, foot sweat comes from sweat glands. It’s harder to block the glands with various aluminum salts the same way you do your underarms, but they exist and they can help.\r\n\tBreathable shoes: Well duh, that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Breathable natural fibers and looser weaves can work wonders on feet that need to, well, breathe.\r\n\r\nWalking around in soaked feet isn’t your idea of convenience, no matter how fly or fitness-ready your sneakers or shoes may be. Which is why you can use some expert opinions on what to stock up your closet with. We narrowed down some of the stylish and most practical footwear, per category at that, designed to keep feet dry when on the move.\r\n\r\nBest Breathable Sneakers\r\n\r\nAdidas Ultraboost Sneaker\r\n\r\nAn essential for clean-cut hypebeasts, these Ultraboost running shoes maintain a crisp profile, yet add a contemporary twist to a classic Adidas design. The sock-like primeknit upper is perfectly shaped for breathability with step-in cushioning and an OrthoLite liner that wards off odor. The result: dry feet.\r\nFrom $119.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAllbirds Tree Dasher 2\r\n\r\nDespite a narrow profile, these machine washable running shoes offer superior breathability, great ankle support, and a snug, secure fit without suffocating your feet. Allbirds’ proprietary mesh knit creates a cooling effect for active feet while the ZQ merino wool along the inside of the heel counters to center, support, and lock your foot in place comfortably. Maybe the most standout feature on this new take on the old running shoe is the new outsole geometry, which allows the sole to bring together proprietary SweetFoam and natural rubber traction pads to provide increased pronation control and stability.\r\n$135 at Allbirds.com\r\nCariuma OCA Low Shadow Blue Canvas\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re a fan of podcasts, then chances are good you have heard of the newest brand on our list: Cariuma. Founded in 2018, this is the future of sneakers. Whereas old school brands have to figure out how to upgrade existing models to be conscious and sustainable, Cariuma has the practice ingrained in its DNA. By using renewable materials such as bamboo and sugarcane as well as certified recycled plastic and Mamona Oil — a natural breathable material alternative to petroleum — these classically stylish shoes are made to last. With the OCA Low available in almost 25 different colors and made from an ultra-soft, organic cotton canvas, this sneaker offers superior breathability.\r\n$89 at Cariuma.com\r\nSoludos Original Ibiza\r\n\r\n\r\nThe low profile and lightweight construction of this espadrilles-inspired sneaker from Soludos. Suede leather may not be the first fabric that comes to mind when you think of breathability, but this is a buttery soft, gold-rated suede that has to be felt to be appreciated, and the high-performance Ortholite insoles will have you feel like you're walking on a cloud. \r\n$123 at Soludos.com\r\n\r\nBest Breathable Dress Shoes\r\n\r\nNisolo Everyday Derby\r\n\r\nOh yes, you can wear these. We suggest you pair them with a baller linen suit. The stylish and flexible Derby shoes require absolutely no break-in period and are made from a highly breathable leather. Best of all, when you purchase these bad boys, you are supporting a Certified B Corporation that focuses on sustainability from conception to execution. \r\n$219 at Nisolo.com\r\nFlorsheim Fuel Wing Tips\r\n\r\n\r\nAny gent who has a habit of sweating through his shoes might have reservations about wearing a pair of stuffy wingtips. That’s only because they’ve yet to find the right pair. Florsheim’s prime selection combines slick and stylish leather with a breathable knit upper and a fully cushioned footbed to provide a cool comfortable dress option for the summer. They’re dependable enough to soothe feet when walks to the office become burdensome.\r\nFrom $45 at Amazon.com\r\nRELATED: The Best No-Show Socks for Men\r\nMezlan Newport Slip-On Loafer\r\n\r\nNothing screams easy-breezy like a pair of handmade loafers. Mezlan designed its luxury slip-ons with ultra-soft calfskin leather to cool feet and release moisture. A memory foam-cushioned insole also enhances shock absorption and reduces foot fatigue, allowing you to stay on-foot for longer stretches throughout the day.\r\n$280 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nBest Breathable Slip-On Shoes\r\n\r\nToms Alpargata Loafer\r\n\r\n\r\nToms is a casual cornerstone for summer wear and it’s Alpargata loafer remains a summer fan favorite for a reason. The uber-lightweight twill fabric frame is especially breathable and the versatile, one-piece outsole offers relief most other shoes in its category fail to achieve.\r\nFrom $35 at Amazon.com\r\nVans Classic Slip-On\r\n\r\nVans are the definition of classic all-season sneakers. Maybe not the technical definition, but when loyal fans include everyone from Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon to Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa, it’s hard not to call them the shoe anyone can wear for any occasion. With the breathable cotton twill fabric of the slip on style not only being comfortable but cool (we mean temperature here), these are a great go-to for the funky feet folks among us.\r\n$60 at Amazon.com\r\nSperry Authentic Original Boat Shoe\r\n\r\n\r\nPreppies can still pull off the ivy league look in moderate fashion with a pair of these super-comfy linen boat shoes. Sperry’s designs footwear to conform to feet without suffocating them courtesy of a non-marking rubber sole that aids with traction to maneuver easily around luxury yachts or boardwalks.\r\n$120 at Sperry.com\r\nG.H. Bass Larson Weejun Loafer\r\n\r\n\r\nWhat goes around comes around, and Bass Weejuns have certainly come right back around. An old school style that has had quite the resurgence of late, these cordovan color penny loafers are shoes that you buy once, and have forever.\r\n$175 at GHBass.com\r\nIf you’re stuck with sweaty, stinky feet, don’t worry about it. And if you do, that’s cool, we got you, your sweaty feet, and your smelly shoes covered.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Terry Cloth Polos\r\n\tBest Corduroy Shirts for Men\r\n\tBest Sunglasses for Your Face Shape", "keywords": "Best, Breathable, Shoes, for, Sweaty, Feet", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/the-best-shoes-to-wear-to-avoid-sweaty-feet/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1-1756305302.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/the-best-shoes-to-wear-to-avoid-sweaty-feet.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71296", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Are Pistol Squats Overrated? Trainers Weigh In", "title_slug": "are-pistol-squats-overrated-trainers-weigh-in", "title_hash": "c2e0c9bee15ed0bbd7773ecf85dee6bc", "summary": "These One-Legged Squats Are Impressive, Sure, But They May Be More Trouble Than They're Worth", "content": "Pistol squats are all the rage on social media. It makes sense: Being able to lower yourself to the ground in a single-leg squat position is an impressive display of fitness. But is it worth it or overrated? Should you spend time building the strength and mobility to perfect the move or just focus on other lower-body exercises?\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Push-Ups\r\nHere’s what personal trainers have to say. \r\n\r\nThe Benefits of Pistol Squats\r\n\r\nLet’s start with the concrete benefits of pistol squats, besides the “wow” effect. Eddie Baruta, global head of gym floor personal training at Ultimate Performance, notes that any single-leg exercise performed correctly and safely is going to be very effective, especially if you want to train your glutes. \r\nThat’s because they require frontal plane pelvic stability, which means keeping your hips stable so they don’t tip from side to side as you balance on one leg. You also need to keep your supporting leg steady throughout the movement so your thigh doesn’t cave in or rotate, which makes your muscles work harder to stabilize you.\r\n“[Pistol squats] work all the major muscle groups in your legs, including your hamstrings, quads, adductors, glutes and even your feet,” says Baruta. “They’re also good for balance, for lower body mobility and have a lot of functional crossover into the real world. They can help improve your strength and power if you’re a runner, build your glute muscles and improve your range of motion when doing squats or deadlifts, adds Baruta. \r\n\r\nThe Drawbacks of Pistol Squats\r\n\r\nBut despite their benefits, pistol squats aren’t for everyone — and that’s one of their main drawbacks. As Amanda Grimm, personal trainer and sports and remedial massage therapist at Knead Massage, puts it, pistol squats look impressive on Instagram, but what’s rarely discussed is how much strength, mobility and control they require: “It’s one thing when a super-toned and fit personal trainer demonstrates them, but what about everyone else?” \r\nWhen a fitness influencer shows off a pistol squat, they make it look easy. But that’s a problem if you don’t understand the mechanics behind the movement or the progression required to pull off a pistol squat with good form. “The truth is that if your mobility isn’t good enough and you don’t have a good enough understanding of the progression needed, you could just end up frustrated or even injured,” adds Grimm.\r\nBaruta agrees: “Pistol squats are very difficult to perform safely and correctly. Most people struggle to perform traditional squats correctly, let alone add in the extra difficulty of doing them on one leg. Without being disparaging, very few people have the required flexibility to perform them safely.” \r\n\r\nAre Pistol Squats Overrated?\r\n\r\nSo, are pistol squats overrated? “I would say, yes. They’re more useful as a screening tool for asymmetries, balance and movement quality than a go-to strength builder for most people, in my opinion,” says Grimm. “The pistol squat is a complex exercise and that means that it doesn’t always deliver the best return for your effort or safety — especially if your goal is pure leg strength, muscle building or functional performance.” \r\nIf your gym time is limited, you might want to focus on other moves. “Do you really want to waste that time falling over and getting frustrated with yourself because you can’t execute a decent pistol squat, when that time could be better spent focusing on easier and safer-to-perform exercises that will yield greater results?” adds Baruta.\r\nWhat are some of those exercises? Grimm recommends Bulgarian split squats, step-ups, single-leg box squats or even goblet squats for safer and more effective results. And if you’re really into the idea of mastering the pistol squat, Baruta suggests testing the waters by doing a regular bodyweight squat. \r\nIn your normal squat stance, perform a slow squat to full depth and pause at the bottom position for two to four seconds. Then, slowly return to your start position. Do 10 reps. “If you can do this with perfect form, with no pain and no wobbling, then it’s a good sign you have enough stability to attempt a pistol squat,” says Baruta.\r\nAt that point, you can work on building the strength and mobility to get there. However, think about your fitness goals before committing. Although pistol squats can be rewarding if you enjoy the challenge, they're not always the most effective option. They require patience and practice. It might be better to stick to tried-and-true lower-body exercises that deliver gains without the complexity if you're a beginner or just want to get the most out of your gym session.\r\n“As is often the case, quality trumps novelty. At the end of the day, good form combined with measured progression is what will deliver the results,” says Grimm.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow Often Should You Work Out Your Arms?Why You Should Plank Daily5 Fat Loss Principles to Help You Lose Weight Fast", "keywords": "Are, Pistol, Squats, Overrated, Trainers, Weigh", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "80", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/are-pistol-squats-overrated-trainers-weigh-in/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1756301701.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/are-pistol-squats-overrated-trainers-weigh-in.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71297", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Sex Toys for Your Balls", "title_slug": "the-best-sex-toys-for-your-balls", "title_hash": "0aea518387d9a312bb0e4431f24bce48", "summary": "Give Your Testicles Some Love With These 7 Ball-Focused Toys", "content": "Whether on or off the court, balls are lots of fun to play with. \r\nOf course, when playing with our own balls, we need to be a bit more careful — they’re super sensitive and chock full of sensory nerve-endings with very little protection. This also happens to be the reason why they feel so good being played with. \r\nRELATED: How to Play With Testicles\r\nIn fact, a survey from sex toy manufacturer MysteryVibe found 50 percent of men incorporate testicle stimulation into their masturbation routine, with 87 percent liking when a partner plays with them. Yet, browsing sex shops and sites, you’ll find very few toys for testicles and, beyond that, most aren’t designed solely for the testes. But just because options are limited doesn’t mean there aren’t some fantastic options. \r\nTo dig a little deeper as to how you can properly give your crown jewels the royal treatment they deserve, we spoke to Zoë Ligon, CEO and founder of Spectrum Boutique and Carol Queen, author and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations. \r\n\r\nHow to Prepare Before Playing With Your Balls\r\n\r\nPain and pleasure are near analogous when playing with the testes. It’s a classic case of different strokes for different folks. For some, the balls are very sensitive and need to be handled gently, whereas others enjoy more intensive pressure, touching, pulling, sucking and nibbling. \r\nBecause ball play produces such polarizing results, Queen recommends you experiment first. \r\n“Start with mild and see how you respond,” she says. “Though I've seen people who liked substantial squeezing and even impact play on the testicles, that’s generally considered to be pretty extreme.”\r\nExercise caution in exploring these sensations with slow, consistent pulls instead of sharp tugging or yanking. It’s easiest to start solo, pulling down on or fondling the balls during masturbation. \r\n“Try that and explore from there,” recommends Queen. “There’s a lot of plumbing in there – treat it with respect!”\r\nIncorporating lube wouldn’t be the worst thing, as it cuts down on friction. “Some people like to trim their pubes to reduce any potential snags, but that’s really not necessary unless you want to,” notes Ligon. \r\nPrior to any ball play with a partner, make sure you’re both comfortable with what you’re about to get into. Communicate and set clear boundaries about what you want, and settle on a safe word if things begin to get uncomfortable. Note that swelling can be common as things progress. However, if the pain gets too intense (or your balls turn a deep red or purple), step on the brakes. \r\n\r\nThe Best Sex Toys for Your Balls\r\n\r\nRing Around the Rosy Vibrating Dual Cock Ring with Ball Stimulator\r\n\r\n\r\nOne part cock ring, one part ball stimulator, the Ring Around the Rosy is a hybrid toy that’s designed for maximum stimulation. Use it during partnered play for some frisky fun, or wear it solo to add some discrete excitement to your day. \r\n$74 at SpectrumBoutique.com\r\nOxballs SackJack\r\n\r\nWhat makes the Oxballs SackJack so unique is that the toy envelopes all of your junk, stimulating every inch of your package from the tip of your shaft to the base of the balls. The sleeve, with its textured interior, is designed to meld to your body for a comfortably snug fit as you stroke up and down. If desired, the toy can also be worn as a sheath for added girth. \r\n$73.23 at Amazon.com\r\nOxballs Cocksling 2\r\n\r\nThis durable device plays with your balls like an experienced partner, cradling ‘em, gripping the base of your shaft and pushing it forward so it stands at full attention. \r\n“This ring is super stretchy and comfy, but also has enough pressure on the balls that it adds extra tension and sensation,” notes Ligon. As a sign of courtesy, the toy also features an indented channel at the tip, which allows you to urinate or ejaculate comfortably. \r\n$22 at Amazon.com\r\nBON4 Humbler\r\n\r\nLigon warns the Humbler is not for the faint of heart, as it “forces you to be bent over.” Should you choose to stand, the vice will apply what she describes as a “deliciously intense pleasure” to your balls. The restraint, which is great for Dom/sub play, is wrapped around the sack and is designed to prevent the wearer from getting off their knees. If the wearer attempts to stand, the toy’s pull will increase. \r\n$135 at BON4.com\r\nHappy Rabbit Cock Ring\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Happy Rabbit Cock Ring uses similar mechanics to the infamous Rabbit Vibrator, featuring a bunny-shaped external stimulator that perfectly nestles into a female partner’s body for couples play. What’s special about this particular model is its two stretchy rings: one that slips over the shaft, and one behind the testicles. This not only enforces stability, but also lets the testes better experience the varying vibrations. \r\n$49.98 at Amazon.com\r\nJust Right Cock Ring\r\n\r\n\r\nThis insanely versatile cock ring was designed for couples and solo use, providing extra sensations on both shaft and testicles that intensify masturbation. It boasts 10 different vibration speeds, generated by two powerful motors, so you can control the intensity as the mood dictates, \r\n$67.95 at GoodVibrations.com\r\nTryst V2 Multi Erogenous Zone Vibrator \r\n\r\n\r\nThe Tryst V2 Multi Erogenous Zone Vibrator is so versatile that its use is only limited by your imagination. It’s multi-functional design is equally efficient for solo or partnered play, and can effectively stimulate the labia, clitoris, nipples, the shaft of the penis, ball play, and even anal play. If you’re a newbie dabbling in the sex toy market, this vibrator’s a great place to start.\r\n$60.54 at Amazon.com\r\nLooking past these selections, any thick and stretchy cock ring can be used as a ball stretcher “Ball stretching stimulates the stretch receptors, but also foils the usual response that signals the body that it's time to climax,” explains Queen. When someone with testicles is about to come, the testicles elevate toward the body. By gently pulling them down at this time, you can delay your orgasm to have fun longer. \r\nWhatever you do, don’t let fear keep you from venturing below the shaft. Testes are sexual organs, after all, so get sexy with it. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Sex Toys for Men\r\n\tPenis Health Care\r\n\tUltimate Guide to Properly Grooming Your Penis", "keywords": "The, Best, Sex, Toys, for, Your, Balls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual_experiences/the-best-sex-toys-for-your-balls/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1756218431.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual_experiences/the-best-sex-toys-for-your-balls.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:48:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "71288", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The ABC’s of Us: Back to School Edition", "title_slug": "the-abcs-of-us-back-to-school-edition", "title_hash": "a2a4c533600cefd29e6fe9a64a9aea71", "summary": "Create a back-to-school ABC’s scrapbook for couples—plus an “ABC’s of You” surprise gift. Fun prompts, easy steps, and flirty twists to spark connection.\nThe post The ABC’s of Us: Back to School Edition appeared first on Date Your Spouse.", "content": "

Create a back-to-school ABC’s scrapbook for couples—plus an “ABC’s of You” surprise gift. Fun prompts, easy steps, and flirty twists to spark connection.

The post The ABC’s of Us: Back to School Edition appeared first on Date Your Spouse.

", "keywords": "The, ABC’s, Us:, Back, School, Edition", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Screenshot-2025-08-21-at-3.04.15-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://dateyourspouse.com/2the-abcs-of-us-back-to-school-edition/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-28 09:32:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "70794", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Anti-Abortion Facilities Get Ohio Grants as Funding for Other Women’s Health Facilities Slashed", "title_slug": "anti-abortion-facilities-get-ohio-grants-as-funding-for-other-womens-health-facilities-slashed", "title_hash": "9441e639954f9b97438e55f4a9402686", "summary": "State officials announced nearly $20 million in grants to groups providing services like prenatal education, parenting classes, and other material assistance—as long as they don't provide abortions.\nThe post Anti-Abortion Facilities Get Ohio Grants as Funding for Other Women’s Health Facilities Slashed appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

As some Ohio women’s health facilities square with federal budget cuts and a new effort to cut funds at the state level, anti-abortion pregnancy centers are receiving millions in state grants.

Even in a state with a constitutional amendment that protects the right to abortion, the difference between the facilities receiving boosts in funding and those facing further cuts is largely their stance on abortion.

A new Ohio bill introduced by Republican state Reps. Jean Schmidt and Adam Mathews seeks to bar Medicaid funds from going to any entities that provide abortion other than when the abortion is a result of rape or incest, or when the life of the pregnant person is endangered.

The bill bases its language on the federal budget reconciliation bill passed and signed into law by President Donald Trump in July.

The federal budget language was criticized for specifically impacting Planned Parenthood, which could lose hundreds of facilities if the loss of funding, on top of other budget cuts, goes through.

The national Planned Parenthood Federation of America is suing to stop the cuts from being enforced. A federal judge temporarily stopped the cuts in July as the lawsuit continues.

Meanwhile, Gov. Mike DeWine and Lt. Gov. Jim Tressel announced nearly $20 million in grants over the next two years, distributed through the Ohio Parenting and Pregnancy Program. The grants were announced as funding boosts to help improve Ohio’s infant health outcomes.

The awards were provided to entities for “prenatal education, parenting classes, case management, referrals, and material assistance tailored to the needs of their local communities.”

“These efforts are part of the DeWine-Tressel Administration’s broader mission to reduce infant mortality and ensure every child in Ohio has the opportunity to live up to their God-given potential,” a release on the grant funding stated.

The grant program is distributed by the Ohio Department of Children and Youth, which saw its own cuts in the most recent state operating budget, including millions of dollars cut from line items for “infant vitality.”

The state department reported an infant mortality rate of 6.5 per 1,000 live births in 2024, a slight decrease from the year before.

The annual March of Dimes Report Card for 2024 noted the decrease, but still gave Ohio a D+ for its preterm birth rate, ranking the state 32nd in the country. The report card also noted the infant mortality rate for Black individuals was 1.9 times higher than the overall state rate.

Among the 21 recipients of the grantees are several religiously affiliated groups, including Heartbeat of Lima County, Inc., Elizabeth’s New Life Center, Inc., and the Family Life Center of Auglaize County.

Grant recipients also included several anti-abortion pregnancy centers, a sector of services that are controversial and criticized for not being required to have the same medical license requirements as facilities like Planned Parenthood, and for providing medically debunked and inaccurate information to patients.

The application details for the grants noted that the awards would only go to entities who promote “childbirth, parenting, and alternatives to abortion.”

State law establishing the Ohio Parenting and Pregnancy Program further specifies entities supported by the program can not be “involved in or associated with any abortion activities, including providing abortion counseling or referrals to abortion clinics, performing abortion-related medical procedures or engaging in pro-abortion advertising.”

Funding future

In the federal budget bill, the women’s health clinic funding prohibition targeted at abortion providers lasts for one year, but leaders of Ohio clinics say the state measure could mean more longterm cuts.

The state-level Medicaid ban being proposed by conservative, anti-abortion legislators, along with federal-level cuts, would cut funds that don’t go toward abortion services in the first place.

“By introducing all of these bills to cut Planned Parenthood out of Medicaid, it does not impact abortion at all, it impacts every other service that keeps people healthy,” said Erica Wilson-Domer, president and CEO of Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio.

Wilson-Domer said more than 40 percent of her affiliate’s patients are covered by Medicaid, and the “vast majority” of the services provided to those patients are office services. Those services include well visits, contraception services, and infection checks, among other non-abortion care.

Planned Parenthood of Greater Ohio has already announced staffing reductions after “mounting attacks from the Trump administration, including the loss of Title X funding and Medicaid defunding through the federal reconciliation bill.”

In announcing the reduction in force, the greater Ohio affiliate said the federal funding losses represent a $10 million drop in annual funds.

“Without a reduction in force, PPGOH could cease to exist, leaving over 50,000 patients without access to birth control, gender affirming care, abortion and a myriad of other essential health care services,” Wilson-Domer said in the announcement on Aug. 4.

Planned Parenthood Southwest Ohio Region also announced changes because of federal funding cuts, including the closure of a clinic in Springfield and another in Hamilton. Neither of the closed facilities provided abortion services.

Wilson-Domer and her fellow Planned Parenthood affiliate leader Nan Whaley in Southwest Ohio both said federal funds have never paid for abortion services. But the services they do provide to low-income and underinsured patients make them “uniquely positioned to have a better impact on maternal and infant mortality,” Wilson-Domer said.

“To take us out of Medicaid is just completely taking away any women’s health-care options for those communities, and it will completely exacerbate this crisis,” Wilson-Domer said.

Republicans who sponsor and support anti-abortion measures are missing the point of the care, and taking away other services while they attempt to stifle abortion services, according to abortion rights advocates in Ohio.

“Our policies are not promotion of abortion, our policy is to make sure every person has bodily autonomy,” Wilson-Domer said. “We will do what we need to do to help you with whatever decision you’ve made.”

Abortion rights advocacy group Abortion Forward said budget cuts on the state and federal level don’t show the prioritization of children, and in fact could create more infant and maternal mortality problems.

The group’s deputy director, Jaime Miracle, said the state’s time would be better spent supporting all facilities who are working to address the problem, rather than cutting them down.

“These actions speak louder than his words when [DeWine] continues to fund unproven, deceptive programs instead of real providers with a track record of success,” Miracle told the Capital Journal. “To really help families in our state, Ohio must invest in improvements to prenatal care, home visiting programs with a proven track record of success, and respect and support people seeking abortion care.”

\n\n

This article was republished from Ohio Capital Journal, part of States Newsroom. Ohio Capital Journal maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor David Dewitt for questions: info@ohiocapitaljournal.com.

The post Anti-Abortion Facilities Get Ohio Grants as Funding for Other Women’s Health Facilities Slashed appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Anti-Abortion, Facilities, Get, Ohio, Grants, Funding, for, Other, Women’s, Health, Facilities, Slashed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/shutterstock_2255359601-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/25/anti-abortion-facilities-get-ohio-grants-as-funding-for-other-womens-health-facilities-slashed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-27 08:50:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "70795", "lang_id": "1", "title": "He Graduated Early To Get Gender-Affirming Surgery Before College. Then His Hospital Cut Him Off.", "title_slug": "he-graduated-early-to-get-gender-affirming-surgery-before-college-then-his-hospital-cut-him-off", "title_hash": "e4dc6c741aeae4601fee5f8f816ac01b", "summary": "Months before his first class at Carlow University, Lee, a 17-year-old in Pennsylvania, found himself without a provider.\nThe post He Graduated Early To Get Gender-Affirming Surgery Before College. Then His Hospital Cut Him Off. appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

On a summer day, Lee sat waiting in a doctor’s office, playing GamePigeon on his phone, telling family stories with his mom and deciding where to get dinner.

It seemed like an ordinary afternoon, yet the reason for Lee’s appointment was far from ordinary.

Lee, 17, was there because the UPMC health system, headquartered in Pittsburgh, had cut off the gender-affirming care he’d been receiving for two years—a change driven by a federal executive order. A pharmacy mix-up meant his final puberty blocker shot never came, and the “weaning off” period his doctor had promised vanished. Within a month, he was experiencing hot flashes he hadn’t felt since starting treatment. Lee was devastated when he learned he could no longer receive treatment. “You feel like you’re starting from rock bottom,” said Lee, who plans to start classes at Carlow University this month.

The sudden disruption of care brought national policy directly into Lee’s home. On June 30, UPMC cut gender-affirming care for patients under 19 citing compliance with a January executive order from President Donald Trump. However, the care remains legal in Pennsylvania, and critics say the decision was less about the law than about protecting federal funding. A UPMC spokesperson said while they “empathize deeply” with impacted patients, the Trump administration has made it “abundantly clear” they can “no longer provide certain types of gender-affirming care without risk of criminal prosecution.”UPMC’s move mirrors a broader trend. Major health systems—from Children’s Hospital Los Angeles to Penn State Health—have also ended gender-affirming care for minors. The policy has prompted a lawsuit from 17 Democratic officials, including Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro, who argue the Trump administration is pressuring providers to cut services even when they remain legal.

For two years, Lee had been treated at UPMC with puberty blockers and testosterone. Suddenly he and his mom Nicole—identified here by first names only because of concerns for privacy and safety—were scrambling for a new provider. Smaller practices seem to be “flooded” with former UPMC patients, Nicole said. “No one is taking on new clients.”

When they saw Lee’s doctor at UPMC in mid-July, the physician confirmed no more puberty blockers could be prescribed and refused to answer questions about finding care elsewhere. Nicole asked if it was safe to seek testosterone out of state. “They were just like, ‘I can’t tell you anything,’” Lee recalled.

Growing up, coming out, finding care

The uncertainty hangs over what should be an exciting time for Lee. He recently graduated high school a year early and, having grown up about 20 miles east of Pittsburgh, thinks it will be easier to connect with more queer people once he leaves Plum to study at Carlow University. “The suburbs are fine,” but “there’s more people that are open-minded in the city,” he said.

Lee worked to graduate a year early from high school, thinking it might allow him to more quickly pursue top surgery—a procedure that alters the chest to align with a patient’s gender identity. Only a few months ago, Lee was discussing the procedure with his UPMC doctor “and then this all got shut down” due to Trump’s executive order, he said.

Lee’s path to care wasn’t smooth. He came out as transgender at 13 and was nervous about how mom would react. To his surprise, Nicole was “overwhelmingly supportive” and has since been his “backbone for everything,” he said. But his childhood pediatrician was dismissive, telling a long story about a woman who once identified as a lesbian and later married a man—suggesting his gender dysphoria was just a phase. “Just hang in there and don’t do anything,” Nicole said, paraphrasing the doctor’s advice.

At 15, Lee started receiving gender-affirming care from UPMC. The effect was immediate: less anxiety, less depression. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had to wait longer,” Lee said. He described the treatment as a “life-changing process.”

These days, Nicole worries about more than finding a doctor. She fears parents could one day face prosecution for helping their children access gender-affirming care in any state. “I have two little ones I need to be here for,” she said, referring to Lee’s younger sisters.

The Trump administration has intensified its stance, with Attorney General Pam Bondi issuing subpoenas to more than 20 doctors and clinics—including UPMC—for records related to gender-affirming care for minors. Bondi has said providers who have “mutilated children” will be prosecuted under the False Claims Act.

Lee closely follows developments regarding transgender rights. “I know that there’s a specific target on my head,” he said.Medical experts widely agree that gender-affirming care improves mental health outcomes for transgender people. A 2018 Cornell University review found that 93 percent of 55 studies surveyed reported improved well-being after transitioning. A 2022 study in the Journal of the American Medical Association found youth receiving such care had a 60 percent drop in depression and a 73 percent drop in suicidality.

Even so, 27 states now ban or partially ban care for minors. Federal pressure adds another layer. Lee believes policymakers should focus on reducing stigma around being transgender, not restricting medical treatment. “Our society does not respect people like us,” he said. “They’re pushing us away and that’s why we’re getting depressed.”

A new doctor and an uncertain future

On July 26, Lee saw a glimmer of hope. Nicole secured an appointment with a private provider in Mt. Lebanon. The doctor assured them that continuing Lee’s treatment was legal and said she could provide it for him as a client. “UPMC made me feel like there were no other options,” Lee said. The new doctor “gave us the feeling that we can’t give up.”

Still, fears remain. “I’m always going to be on edge with this administration,” Lee said. “I think this is just the beginning of them trying to get rid of all gender-affirming care.”

Lee and Nicole have talked about leaving Pittsburgh—or even the country—if needed. Options include moving to Maryland or studying abroad for a semester. For now, Lee’s staying put.

“I don’t want to uproot my life and live somewhere else,” he said, but admitted “I have to somewhat consider it.”

The post He Graduated Early To Get Gender-Affirming Surgery Before College. Then His Hospital Cut Him Off. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", Graduated, Early, Get, Gender-Affirming, Surgery, Before, College., Then, His, Hospital, Cut, Him, Off.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "69", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/shutterstock_1678091263-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/22/trans-teen-gender-affirming-care-cuts-trump-administration/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-27 08:50:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "70791", "lang_id": "1", "title": "As Republicans Spar Over IVF, Some Turn to Obscure MAHA-Backed Alternative", "title_slug": "as-republicans-spar-over-ivf-some-turn-to-obscure-maha-backed-alternative", "title_hash": "89d9f44320dc62b03310c1e35f3c466e", "summary": "Meanwhile, Trump is retreating from some of his IVF promises.\nThe post As Republicans Spar Over IVF, Some Turn to Obscure MAHA-Backed Alternative appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Republican support for in vitro fertilization (IVF), after surging in the wake of a 2024 Alabama Supreme Court decision that threatened the procedure, may be splintering as President Donald Trump retreats from his IVF promises and more far-right voices gain ground.

Earlier this year, conservatives in the Tennessee House staged an eleventh-hour skirmish over an IVF protection bill introduced by two of their Republican colleagues. The bill eventually passed, becoming one of the first in the nation to explicitly protect access to IVF. But some lawmakers who voted for it have signaled their willingness to revisit the issue.

In Georgia, a Republican-sponsored bill to codify the right to IVF into law sailed through the legislature, even as fellow conservative lawmakers introduced their own anti-abortion bill that opponents warned would undermine the IVF protections in the new law.

In statehouses around the nation, IVF has emerged as a dividing line running through the Republican Party. Particularly in states where abortion is banned, lawmakers who unite under the “pro-life” banner disagree over whether the popular treatment gives life or destroys it.

People who believe embryos are children oppose IVF because it can involve the discarding of some embryos, which they say is akin to abortion.

“The popularity of IVF creates a dilemma for Republican politicians who have had anti-choice organizations as a key part of their constituency for their whole careers,” said Sean Tipton, chief advocacy and policy officer at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

After the Alabama Supreme Court ruled last year that embryos are people, fertility clinics around the state temporarily halted their services, sparking nationwide outrage.

Republicans and Democrats rushed to pledge their support for fertility treatments such as IVF and announce their plans to protect it.

On the campaign trail last year, Trump promised to make insurers cover IVF so that it would be free for patients. After taking office, he signed an executive order giving White House officials 90 days to assemble a list of policy recommendations on protecting IVF access and reducing costs.

In March, he called himself “the fertilization president.”

But a week later, his administration eliminated the team of experts at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention responsible for tracking IVF outcomes across the United States. The team had, among other things, operated a database allowing consumers to look up an individual fertility clinic’s success rates. Earlier this month, the Washington Post reported that the White House doesn’t plan to require insurers to cover IVF services, though administration officials told the newspaper that IVF access remains a priority.

Meanwhile, conservative groups that oppose abortion have begun pushing an obscure alternative treatment for infertility called “restorative reproductive medicine,” or RRM. Advocates have urged the White House and federal and state legislators to back RRM, which is based on the idea that the underlying causes of infertility can be treated through lifestyle changes and improving a person’s overall health.

Arkansas recently became the first to pass a pro-RRM law. Others might follow suit in upcoming legislative sessions.

Cole Muzio, founder and president of the Georgia conservative Christian nonprofit Frontline Policy Council, said he doesn’t expect to see legislators try to ban IVF outright, despite preemptive efforts by legislators in his state and others to protect it.

“Republicans are intrinsically pro-family, and the idea of supporting those who want to have a family is a conservative, noble, positive thing,” he said.

“At the same time, IVF discards an overwhelming number of human lives. We’ve got a lot of work to do to educate people.”

IVF pushback grows louder

This spring, the Tennessee bill protecting IVF passed unanimously in the state Senate. But by the time it hit the House floor in April, many of its Republican supporters sat silently while a few of their GOP colleagues tried to derail it.

The bill’s sponsor, Republican state Rep. Iris Rudder, told the Tennessee Lookout that she hadn’t expected disagreement over the bill to “mushroom the way it did.”

It eventually passed. But 11 Tennessee House Republicans sent a letter to GOP Gov. Bill Lee urging him to veto it and calling it “a Trojan horse that could potentially undermine Tennessee’s strong and righteous stance on the protection of innocent human life.”

Lee signed it in April.

The following day, Tennessee Senate Majority Leader Jack Johnson—who voted for the bill and said he supports IVF and contraceptives—told constituents during a legislative forum that he’d had “lots of conversations” about it and expects the legislature to revisit the issue again in the next session.

“I think we’ll be back next year to take another stab at it,” he said.

In Georgia, the state’s most powerful Republicans made a bill to codify the right to IVF a major priority this year. It was signed into law in May.

“Thanks to a lot of bipartisan support and hard work, Georgians who want to grow their families will never have to worry about whether or not they can access this vital treatment,” the bill’s sponsor, Republican state Rep. Lehman Franklin, posted to X after it passed through the legislature. Franklin and his wife conceived through IVF, a story he has shared publicly as he promoted the measure.

“At the end of the day, being pro-family means being pro-IVF,” he wrote.

Muzio, of the Frontline Policy Council, believes the IVF debate represents not so much a split in the Republican Party as it does a lack of education about what the treatment really means to people who believe human life begins as soon as an egg is fertilized.

“Hopefully you’ll see [legislation] put in place that either backs different fertility treatments that are more pro-life or guardrails put in place to restrict the discarding of human life for the purposes of IVF,” he said.

For conservatives who see IVF as akin to abortion, restorative reproductive medicine has emerged politically as an option for addressing infertility without explicitly supporting IVF, which remains overwhelmingly popular among Americans.

Out of obscurity

RRM was a relatively obscure idea until anti-abortion groups such as the Heritage Foundation began elevating it over the past year as an alternative to IVF. With RRM, a practitioner might help patients analyze their diet, chart their menstrual cycle to look for conditions that can impact fertility, or treat reproductive disorders like endometriosis or thyroid dysfunction.

Supporters argue that a more holistic approach is a better way to treat infertility, and that RRM methods are much less expensive than IVF, which can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

But RRM has been criticized in mainstream medical circles. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists calls RRM a “nonmedical approach” and an “unproven concept” that can delay time to pregnancy and expose patients to needless and painful surgical interventions, such as procedures to treat polycystic ovarian syndrome. It says the approach overwhelmingly puts the onus on women, ignoring that infertility causes are just as common in men.

Some experts worry that patients spending months or years on RRM treatments will lose precious time when IVF could have helped them get pregnant.

And OB-GYNs warn RRM is closely tied to the anti-abortion “personhood” movement, which attempts to grant fertilized eggs the same legal status as people—potentially leading to a loss of rights for pregnant patients and more severe restrictions on birth control and other reproductive health care.

Tipton, of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, believes RRM is more “ideology” than medical practice.

“[RRM] got legs thanks to the work of really influential right-wing and anti-choice groups,” he said. “They put their considerable resources into asking, ‘How do we blunt the momentum IVF is getting without saying we’re opposed to IVF?’”

But as RRM gains mainstream attention, it’s also found supporters in the Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) movement promoted by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Some consumers remain skeptical of the fertility industry, where some clinics have ties to private equity firms and other large corporations.

In March, Arkansas Republican state Rep. Alyssa Brown told fellow legislators that RRM “prioritizes women’s health over the profits of Big Pharma and Big Fertility.”

First in the nation

Brown sponsored a first-of-its-kind bill in Arkansas—which passed in April and was signed into law—that requires state insurance companies to cover RRM treatments.

Brown promised during a hearing that it wouldn’t limit access to IVF. Arkansas was one of the earliest states, in 1991, to require insurance companies to cover IVF.

A similar bill with the same title, the RESTORE Act, was introduced in Congress again this year, after failing last year. It includes recommendations from The Heritage Foundation and the conservative, anti-abortion Ethics and Public Policy Center.

Arkansas’ new law also requires programs funded through Title X, which provides birth control and other reproductive care to low-income families, to use fertility awareness-based methods, mirroring a similar effort at the federal level. Under Kennedy, HHS has indicated plans to use Title X funding to open an “infertility training center.” Part of the center’s focus, according to its grant announcement, is to “educate on the root causes of infertility and the broad range of holistic infertility treatments” available to patients.

Meanwhile, state legislators around the country this year attempted to require health insurance to cover IVF, including in Montana, North Carolina, Rhode Island, Vermont, and West Virginia.

Nevada’s Democratic-controlled legislature passed a bill in June establishing the right to fertility treatments, including IVF, but it was swiftly vetoed by Republican Gov. Joe Lombardo.

In May, Virginia Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin signed a bill into law requiring a state insurance commission to consider coverage for procedures like IVF, a move that sets the stage for requiring health insurance companies to cover it. Before signing, Youngkin tried to insert a provision allowing private plans to opt out of coverage for religious or ethical beliefs, but the legislature rejected the change.

Although he signed the measure, Youngkin said his exemption idea needed to be taken up if the state eventually mandates coverage of fertility treatments.

\n\n

The post As Republicans Spar Over IVF, Some Turn to Obscure MAHA-Backed Alternative appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Picture this: Your alarm goes off at 7:30 a.m. You walk the dog, shave your legs, doomscroll the headlines, and check your calendar: six meetings, an exercise class, and dinner with a friend. Somewhere in there, you still need to call your mom and return a package.

But also: Today may just be the crucial 12-to-24-hour window when you’re ovulating.

You and your partner have been trying to get pregnant for five months, and so far, no plus sign. You have to find some time today to fit it in (pun intended). It doesn’t matter how busy you are, what’s happening in the world, or whether you’re in the mood. The period tracker says “go.”

Trying to conceive involves a lot of very unsexy sex—especially for heterosexual, cisgender couples grappling with gender norms and expectations that can make this process particularly tough on the partner with a uterus.

And according to licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz, this phase is marked by less connection between partners, performance anxiety, and immense pressure. Baby-making sex, Mintz said, is “some of the worst sex people have.”

How pregnancy actually happens

Most of us were fed the fear (by our gym teacher, probably) that we’ll automatically get pregnant the first time we have unprotected penetrative vaginal sex. While this is possible, many people who want a baby don’t get pregnant that easily.

Couples where one partner has a uterus and the other has a penis may conceive by chance if they happen to have vaginal intercourse around the time of ovulation—that is, the brief window during the menstrual cycle when one of the ovaries releases an egg that may be fertilized by a sperm in the fallopian tube. (Roughly 42 percent of U.S. pregnancies are unplanned.) Rarely, pregnancies can happen when sperm ends up near the vagina without intercourse actually happening.

Pairings with people who don’t identify as cisgender or heterosexual may face additional barriers to getting pregnant. They may do intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), use a surrogate, or choose to adopt or foster in order to build a family.

If you don’t get pregnant by chance, the next step likely requires intensive planning. Many conceive by tracking their cycles in apps or on old-school calendars and having vaginal penetrative sex when ovulation is predicted. In cis-het couples, this scheduling work typically falls on the woman, according to licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sexuality educator Dr. Lexx Brown-James.

“She’s the one doing the tracking, having to be so in tune with her body and there’s a fear that’s held—‘is my period coming?,’ a constant checking of ‘are my breasts sore?,’ and a persistent questioning of the body’s function,” Dr. Brown-James said.

Because sperm can live in the body for up to five days, the best chances of conceiving are the days leading up to ovulation. For many couples, this “fertile window” is when baby-making sex officially clocks in as a calendar event, complete with mental math on how many romps count as “optimal” before the buzzer.

While it can take couples many months to conceive successfully, most people who want to get pregnant do eventually get that positive test. Eighty percent of people with uteruses who are having vaginal intercourse regularly and aren’t using birth control will get pregnant within six months, data from the Cleveland Clinic shows.

But is that half a year of passion, connection, and intimacy for couples? Far from it.

IVF plans, unexpected twists

Zoya is a 36-year-old Bay Area native who runs her own business. (Zoya is not her real name; the people who invited Rewire News Group into their bedrooms, so to speak, spoke on condition of anonymity.) She married her husband, Scott, in 2022 after four years of dating. They decided they wanted to get pregnant soon after the wedding. It took ten months.

The couple first tried ovulation tracking. There were moments of silliness and levity during the first four months, Zoya said, but sex also “became a bit of a group project, which made [it] less intimate.”

As Dr. Mintz explained: “It doesn’t matter if it’s a good time or not; there is an urgency and demand associated with sex during this time. This does not make for the best playful, erotic sexual encounter.”

Zoya agreed.

“We wanted there to be romance and to feel relaxed but it’s hard to do that—it’s hard to shut your brain off,” she said.

After trying for four months to get pregnant without success, Zoya and Scott heeded a friend’s advice to pursue IVF. In a sense, they were lucky: Zoya’s health benefits made this option financially feasible—in the U.S., a single cycle of IVF can cost as much as $30,000.

But IVF isn’t a breeze. Zoya spent three months giving herself daily shots, dealing with bloating and hormonal shifts, and fearing going under general anesthesia for the egg retrieval process.

“Initially it was really scary—scary to do the injections,” Zoya said. “And then you get used to it. It was the first time I was sacrificing my body and my lifestyle, like drinking wine socially, for something bigger than me.”

Dr. Brown-James, who also went through IVF to conceive her third child, described the ordeal as “miserable.” The physical toll of the retrieval process, possible nerve damage from injections, and her experience on hormones was brutal.

“I couldn’t have gone through that process again,” Brown-James said.

Ultimately, Zoya and Scott didn’t have to undertake the entire IVF process. One month before they were planning to do the embryo transfer, Zoya realized it had been a while since she got her period. A pregnancy test came back positive. They now have an 11-month-old baby girl.

“All in all, I’m grateful we didn’t struggle with natural fertility issues,” Zoya said. “But it was still a slog to go through two cycles of egg retrievals.”

And the pregnancy process isn’t always smooth, even after a couple manages to conceive.

When joy turns to grief—and back again

The first month Aurora and her husband, Ben (not their real names), tried to conceive, they weren’t trying very hard.

“I had gone off of the pill and we stopped using condoms, but I wasn’t tracking anything in any meaningful way,” said Aurora, a 33-year-old journalist who lives in New York City.

Given that, both Aurora and Ben were surprised that they felt disappointed when Aurora got her period. This feeling was echoed by everyone interviewed for this story—from experts talking about their clients, to moms reflecting on their conception journeys. Couples are disappointed when conception doesn’t happen for them, even after only one month of trying.

So Aurora and Ben tried again in earnest that next month, and they got pregnant. For ten days, the couple dreamed, planned, and celebrated their future as a family. Then she felt her pregnancy symptoms cease.

“My boobs stopped being sore and I just knew I wasn’t pregnant anymore,” Aurora said. “I could feel it.”

Aurora’s OB-GYN confirmed the worst: The gestational sac was empty; the pregnancy wasn’t progressing.

“It was horrible.” Aurora said. “We only told family and a few close friends. There were days we would just lay in bed and cry together.”

Up to 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage every year. Still, Aurora felt like she failed in some way. Even though she knew it wasn’t logical, the question of “am I not fit to parent?” came into her mind.

Six months later, the couple started to try again. The second month of baby-making sex resulted in a viable pregnancy and a healthy baby girl.

Aurora and Ben wouldn’t do anything differently, they say. But their emotional and anxiety-inducing journey was not one they could have seen coming.

Most people don’t realize how much time, energy, and emotional labor goes into trying to conceive.

“It’s a lot,” Dr. Mintz said. “These are way less than ideal circumstances; sex should never be goal-oriented and the focus should be on pleasure and not orgasm.”

The orgasm gap

Prioritizing pleasure sounds nice, but it can feel impossible during baby-making sex. In a cis-het couple, it can unintentionally reinforce gender norms already seen in the orgasm gap: Because sperm is necessary for conception every time a sexual encounter happens, the woman’s climax can become gratuitous. (The orgasm gap, by the way, is less of a thing for lesbian couples, who are more likely to use toys and prioritize each other’s pleasure, and it’s even less of a thing for gay male couples).

It’s also challenging to focus on pleasure when you’re spending more money than you thought you would while trying to conceive.

“Not only are you spending money on doctors appointments and fertility tests, but you’re driving back and forth to appointments, taking time off of work, and buying pregnancy tests, ovulation tests, ” and other products, Dr. Brown-James said.

There are also countless products on the market to track cervical fluid and basal body temperature, which can cost hundreds of dollars.

And this is just within the first year of trying—the time period considered “normal” for couples under 40. The 15 percent of couples who don’t get pregnant within 12 months are categorized as “infertile.” What happens then?

“In monogamous, cisgendered, straight couples, oftentimes the woman is presumed to be the one with the problem since she is the one that isn’t getting pregnant,” Dr. Brown-James explained. “We assume something’s wrong with the woman’s ovulation or her body rather than testing the man’s sperm.”

Of the 15 percent of “infertile” couples in the United States who have trouble conceiving, over half of the time, there is a male infertility issue, data from Yale Medicine shows.

This pressure for both people in the couple can take a toll, causing stress and overwhelm. It can feel isolating and very lonely.

It’s no wonder why trying to conceive is a challenging time for so many couples. Sex—typically considered to be an activity done for pleasure—can become filled with urgency and stress.

Baby-making in queer couples

This process looked different for Jess, a 43-year old queer femme, and her partner, Val. Together, the couple—who like others requested pseudonyms to share their story—have a 10-year-old child and a blended family.

The couple didn’t feel a lot of pressure around the sex they were having while trying to conceive.

“If anything it made us feel more connected because it felt sacred,” Jess said.

They used the Tantus POP Squirting Dildo which mimics ejaculation. “It felt novel and really different,” Jess explained. “We were having sex three mornings in a row before going into work while our friend was coming from across town to give us his semen. It was very different from most people’s experiences.”

But it wasn’t all fun for Jess, either. The first time she got pregnant, she miscarried. The couple tried again (using the same dildo) two cycles later and got pregnant with their child.

She remembers having some of the best sex she ever had during pregnancy

“I felt very in my body and in my purpose,” Jess said.

Couples who aren’t feeling such connection and pleasure during this potentially wild chapter of life should talk about it, Dr. Mintz said.

“They need to ask, ‘How is this impacting our sex life?’ They can get closer by acknowledging this is pressured, [and] asking, ‘How can we do things differently?’”

For couples in the throes of baby-making sex, Dr. Mintz advised slowing down, taking your time, incorporating sex toys, and remembering that your connection with your partner is worth investing in.

You’re “doing this for the big picture of having a baby,” she said. Even so, “sex can be playful.”

The post Baby-Making Sex Can Be ‘Some of the Worst Sex People Have’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Baby-Making, Sex, Can, ‘Some, the, Worst, Sex, People, Have’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "77", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Baby-making-can-be-awkward-web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/26/baby-making-sex-can-be-some-of-the-worst-sex-people-have/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-27 08:50:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "70793", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why We’re Winding Down Our Executive Dysfunction Newsletter—and What Comes Next", "title_slug": "why-were-winding-down-our-executive-dysfunction-newsletterand-what-comes-next", "title_hash": "ebb4d67dcd4d74af693bb3fd0fdf17bf", "summary": "A note from RNG's editorial director.\nThe post Why We’re Winding Down Our Executive Dysfunction Newsletter—and What Comes Next appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Good morning, Rewire News Group readers.

Normally, when you hear from me on a Monday morning, I’m sending you Executive Dysfunction, our weekly roundup of White House news. Today, however, I’m writing to inform you that we’re winding down Executive Dysfunction. Last week’s edition was the final one. But the good news: Our brand-new newsletter Rewire Weekly is launching soon!

Executive Dysfunction, which began shortly after President Donald Trump started his second term, was always meant to be short-lived. Then, because it scratched an itch, we kept on doing it.

But, ultimately, RNG isn’t a general politics magazine—and we don’t want to become one. We are, quite proudly, the United States’ only national newsroom exclusively dedicated to covering reproductive, gender, and sexual rights—all of which are under intense, sustained attack right now.

RNG’s legal analysis, explanatory journalism, personal essays, and accountability reporting on these topics puts us on the front lines of the battles for basic human dignity and U.S. democracy. Yet historically, our newsletters have only featured a fraction of our work. That’s why I’m thrilled that Rewire Weekly will deliver all of our journalism straight to your inbox— packaged up in one tidy, appealing bundle.

We’ll share more about Rewire Weekly in the coming weeks. But for now, I want to thank you for reading Executive Dysfunction. I promise: What comes next will be phenomenal. If you don’t want to receive Rewire Weekly, you can manage your newsletter preferences here.

The post Why We’re Winding Down Our Executive Dysfunction Newsletter—and What Comes Next appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Why, We’re, Winding, Down, Our, Executive, Dysfunction, Newsletter—and, What, Comes, Next", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/White-House-Tilt-Over.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/25/why-were-winding-down-our-executive-dysfunction-newsletter-and-what-comes-next/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-27 08:50:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69651", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The No Takebacks Rule: Keep Her Invested by Making Endings Final", "title_slug": "the-no-takebacks-rule-keep-her-invested-by-making-endings-final", "title_hash": "bc5655aa0b4b9e3ccc9348979f80fd66", "summary": "Hit the right balance of making her feel special while also replaceable. The 'No Takebacks Rule' keeps her hooked by making endings final—no second chances.\nThis article is more relevant to relationships than it is to seduction—however, it plays its part there too.\nGenerally, I find that men are only able to do ONE (1) of these:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"no$ Hit the right balance of making her feel special while also replaceable. The 'No Takebacks Rule' keeps her hooked by making endings final—no second chances.

This article is more relevant to relationships than it is to seduction—however, it plays its part there too.

Generally, I find that men are only able to do ONE (1) of these:

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Takebacks, Rule:, Keep, Her, Invested, Making, Endings, Final", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/no-takebacks-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/no-takebacks-rule-keep-her-invested-making-endings-final", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69650", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Learning to Use Sex Talk, It Is Okay to Miss", "title_slug": "when-learning-to-use-sex-talk-it-is-okay-to-miss", "title_hash": "59eea1e2e293389fb3e0b843867b6b32", "summary": "You’re not going to hit the right note out of the gate every time as a sex talk trainee. So what do you do if you sex talk misses? Recalibrate, change it up, and try again.\nHey guys. Welcome back.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"with$ You’re not going to hit the right note out of the gate every time as a sex talk trainee. So what do you do if you sex talk misses? Recalibrate, change it up, and try again.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "When, Learning, Use, Sex, Talk, Okay, Miss", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "112", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/sex-talk-miss-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/when-learning-use-sex-talk-it-okay-miss", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69648", "lang_id": "1", "title": "¿Cuánto Debería Durar la Intimidad? Según una Mujer", "title_slug": "cuanto-deberia-durar-la-intimidad-segun-una-mujer", "title_hash": "6c4a824d9465de227328ec49b35f4e07", "summary": "En las películas parece que la intimidad dura más que una temporada completa de La Rosa de Guadalupe.…", "content": "En las películas parece que la intimidad dura más que una temporada completa de La Rosa de Guadalupe.…", "keywords": "¿Cuánto, Debería, Durar, Intimidad, Según, una, Mujer", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "91", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/things-never-do-1-e1755376097377.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/cuanto-deberia-durar-la-intimidad-segun-una-mujer/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69649", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Things You Should Never Do During Intimacy, According to Science", "title_slug": "9-things-you-should-never-do-during-intimacy-according-to-science", "title_hash": "2264bd6c607134faf66325b81bd1e70b", "summary": "Intimacy is supposed to bring you closer, both physically and emotionally. But sometimes, simple mistakes can create distance…", "content": "Intimacy is supposed to bring you closer, both physically and emotionally. But sometimes, simple mistakes can create distance…", "keywords": ", Things, You, Should, Never, During, Intimacy, According, Science", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/things-never-do-e1755371099437.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-things-you-should-never-do-during-intimacy-according-to-science/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69647", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Cosas Que Nunca Debes Hacer Durante la Intimidad, Según la Ciencia", "title_slug": "9-cosas-que-nunca-debes-hacer-durante-la-intimidad-segun-la-ciencia", "title_hash": "fbc467dd76d46619a3420d7aed49b941", "summary": "La intimidad debería sentirse como una buena playlist: fluida, natural y sin canciones incómodas en medio. Pero a…", "content": "La intimidad debería sentirse como una buena playlist: fluida, natural y sin canciones incómodas en medio. Pero a…", "keywords": ", Cosas, Que, Nunca, Debes, Hacer, Durante, Intimidad, Según, Ciencia", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "97", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/durante-e1755386226321.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-cosas-que-nunca-debes-hacer-durante-la-intimidad-segun-la-ciencia/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69646", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 Señales De Que Va A Ser Bueno En La Cama", "title_slug": "8-senales-de-que-va-a-ser-bueno-en-la-cama", "title_hash": "760d59a1bbd1f17eb657bbcd60ad3e9a", "summary": "Todos hemos escuchado esas frases cliché: “se nota en cómo baila”, “los callados sorprenden”… pero la verdad es…", "content": "Todos hemos escuchado esas frases cliché: “se nota en cómo baila”, “los callados sorprenden”… pero la verdad es…", "keywords": ", Señales, Que, Ser, Bueno, Cama", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/shutterstock_539315842.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/8-senales-de-que-va-a-ser-bueno-en-la-cama/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69645", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What It Feels Like to Please My Husband Even When I Don’t Feel Like It", "title_slug": "what-it-feels-like-to-please-my-husband-even-when-i-dont-feel-like-it", "title_hash": "23b0fff7d8a8d067c5c7efe9c9274062", "summary": "There are some stories that are hard to share, but they carry the weight of countless unspoken voices.…", "content": "There are some stories that are hard to share, but they carry the weight of countless unspoken voices.…", "keywords": "What, Feels, Like, Please, Husband, Even, When, Don’t, Feel, Like", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "76", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/durante-1-e1755396922986.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/what-it-feels-like-to-please-my-husband-even-when-i-dont-feel-like-it/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69644", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Electrolyte Drinks and Powders", "title_slug": "best-electrolyte-drinks-and-powders", "title_hash": "49464b85f8ab0b403f4cb736ba88886d", "summary": "People pound energy drinks to fire up their mornings, help them get through a brutal workout, and to recover and replenish electrolytes after sweating buckets, or partying all night.\r\nBut here’s the problem with most of the sports drinks we reach for first: they're loaded with sugar and artificial ingredients. You might get a quick surge of energy, but you’ll feel a crash soon after. Not only that but while you’re doing your best to rehydrate you could also be packing in a ton of unwanted calories from simple sugars.\r\nThat's what we want to avoid.\r\nIf you're looking to replenish electrolytes throughout the day, a supplement in the form of a power or a drink– without all the added sugar – can be a better option for maintaining proper levels\r\nRELATED: Kitchen Gadgets to Help You Eat Healthier\r\n\r\nBenefits of Electrolytes\r\n\r\nElectrolytes regulate our muscle and nerve functions and our body's hydration and blood pressure. They also help with rebuilding damaged tissue. When you exercise, you", "content": "People pound energy drinks to fire up their mornings, help them get through a brutal workout, and to recover and replenish electrolytes after sweating buckets, or partying all night.\r\nBut here’s the problem with most of the sports drinks we reach for first: they're loaded with sugar and artificial ingredients. You might get a quick surge of energy, but you’ll feel a crash soon after. Not only that but while you’re doing your best to rehydrate you could also be packing in a ton of unwanted calories from simple sugars.\r\nThat's what we want to avoid.\r\nIf you're looking to replenish electrolytes throughout the day, a supplement in the form of a power or a drink– without all the added sugar – can be a better option for maintaining proper levels\r\nRELATED: Kitchen Gadgets to Help You Eat Healthier\r\n\r\nBenefits of Electrolytes\r\n\r\nElectrolytes regulate our muscle and nerve functions and our body's hydration and blood pressure. They also help with rebuilding damaged tissue. When you exercise, you sweat and naturally lose a lot of water and salt through your pores. Within those salts, you’ll find important electrolytes like potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, and phosphate. \r\nAll of these electrolytes carry an electrical charge, which works to stimulate muscles and nerves. But when we’re low on electrolytes, that’s when we can get all kinds of annoying side effects such as muscle cramping, dehydration, headaches, and fluid imbalances. \r\nDrinking water during intense exercise will help with fluid loss, but it won’t give you those critical electrolytes – so you might still suffer adverse effects if you’re exercising hard for long periods of time. But by drinking something that also replenishes electrolytes, you’ll notice complete benefits like:\r\n\r\n\tBetter hydration\r\n\tMaintenance of pH levels\r\n\tImproved energy and focus\r\n\tMore efficiently regulated body temperature\r\n\tFights back cramping\r\n\tImproved endurance\r\n\r\n\r\nLMNT Keto Electrolyte Powder Packs\r\n\r\nLMNT does two things very well. First, they deliver quality ingredients in correct dosages to ensure that you get the essential electrolytes you need in the quantities you need them in. Next, they offer individual, easy-to-transport packages that are perfect for hikers, bikers, runners or anyone else who \r\n$45 for 90 servings at Amazon.com\r\nGHOST® HYDRATION STICKS\r\n\r\nContaining 24 hydration sticks, each loaded with electrolytes like calcium, magnesium and sodium, this is a phenomenal option for people who need on-the-go energy and muscle recovery: just pop the stick open, mix in a shaker with water and enjoy. And in typical GHOST® fashion, these sticks are available in multiple delicious flavors, including Sour Patch Kids® variants and a Sonic® Cherry Limeade that has to be tasted to be believed. \r\n$29.99 at GHOSTLIFESTYLE.com\r\nGHOST® HYDRATION DRINK\r\n\r\nWould you rather stock your fridge with an electrolyte drink rather than fool around with powders? No problem, GHOST® has you covered. Their brand new HYDRATION DRINK delivers a potent electrolyte formula sans caffeine, in four delicious flavors: Lemon Lime, Kiwi Strawberry, Orange Squeeze and Sour Patch Kids® Redberry®. With zero sugars and just 10 calories per bottle, these drinks deliver all of the hydration you need without any of the unnecessary extras. \r\n$29.99 for 12 at Amazon.com\r\nDripDrop ORS Electrolyte Powder\r\n\r\nWe're big fans of this variety pack of electrolyte powders from DripDrop. You get berry, lemon, and watermelon flavors in 32 8-oz serving packets, allowing you to put one in a backpack or gym bag and mix it on the go. They taste great, and offer 70mg of vitamin C on top of the usual magnesium, zinc, and potassium. They're not sugar-free, but with just 7 grams and only 35 calories per stick, you're not going to sweat your macros too much.\r\n$35.99 for 32 servings at Amazon.com\r\nCure Hydration Mix Organic Electrolyte Powder\r\n\r\nWith flavors including berry pomegranate, watermelon, and ginger turmeric, Cure Hydration makes hydrating and replenishing electrolytes an incredibly tasty experience. Gluten-free, vegan, non-GMO, and made with organic coconut water and pure Himalayan salt – no sugar added – you can feel good about pouring one of these powders into your water bottle each day. \r\n$23.99 for 14 servings at Amazon.com\r\nZipfizz Electrolyte Healthy Energy Drink Mix\r\n\r\n\r\nZipfizz is a top choice for electrolyte energy drinks not only because it has many excellent customer reviews, but because it's all-natural and contains zero sugars or artificial sweeteners. It’s easy to use and contains a lot of beneficial vitamins, minerals, and energy boosters to help replenish what you lose after a tough workout, game, or whatever causes you to sweat – we won’t judge. This pack comes with three different flavors of powder – grape, fruit punch, and orange soda – that you throw into your water bottle, shake, and enjoy.\r\n\r\n$21.58 for 20 servings at Amazon.com\r\nNuun Hydration Tablets\r\n\r\n\r\nGluten-free, vegan-friendly, and Keto-friendly, Nuun hydration tablets are incredibly easy to take on the go, and one tablet is good enough for a 16-ounce drink. This pack comes with four tubes – flavors include citrus fruit, lemon-lime, orange, and tri-berry – each containing 10 tablets. The non-GMO sourced tablets contain the essential sodium, potassium, magnesium, and calcium replenishment your body needs during or after a training session, and they don't contain any artificial sweeteners.\r\n\r\n$29.96 for 40 servings at Amazon.com\r\nBuoy All-Natural Electrolytes\r\n\r\n\r\nBased on the World Health Organization’s formula for Oral Rehydration Salts (ORS), this easy-to-squeeze electrolyte supplement is free-from sugar, caffeine, calories, and artificial ingredients. The benefit of this supplement is that it leaves barely any taste behind, so you can easily squeeze some into water, coffee, or juice without making a big impact on the flavor of your drink. You are meant to squeeze for half a second (or the equivalent of 1/3 of a tsp) per drink.\r\n$39 for 120 servings at JustAddBuoy.com \r\nUltima Replenisher Electrolyte Drink\r\n\r\nWith no added sugars, zero calories, and zero artificial ingredients, it’s hard to go wrong with the Ultima Replenisher. Although this clean drink mix contains no caffeine, it still boosts your body’s energy levels naturally by replenishing and replacing everything you lost during an intense exercise sesh. If you're battling a headache or cramps from travel or a wild night of partying, it can help with those, too. All it takes is one serving and you'll feel a major difference in only a short amount of time. This pack includes five different flavors: raspberry, lemonade, grape, orange, and cherry pomegranate.\r\n\r\n$44.99 for 90 servings at Amazon.com\r\nEnduroPacks All-Natural Liquid Electrolytes\r\n\r\nAdd liquid electrolytes to any drink with just a couple pumps. OK, 10 pumps. But it still can't get more convenient than that. The key with EduroPacks, though, is that spraying in your electrolytes doesn't add any sugar, sweeteners, or excess calories (it's exactly zero calories) to your beverage. This all-natural liquid contains 13 naturally occurring minerals (in addition to sodium) which help to hydrate the body and get the blood flowing to alleviate cramps, headaches, and dizziness brought on by dehydration. \r\n\r\n$15.99 for 30 servings at Amazon.com\r\nLiquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier, Electrolyte Powder\r\n\r\nThanks to Cellular Transport Technology (CTT), one packet of this electrolyte supplement supplies the body with the same hydration as two to three bottles of water would. It contains 11 essential minerals and vitamins – including the daily requirements for vitamins B3, B5, B6, and B12, more vitamin C than an orange, and more potassium than a banana – and it holds three times more electrolytes than the average sports drink. This pack comes in a lemon-lime flavor, which many reviewers have enjoyed.\r\n$27.99 for 16 servings at Amazon.com\r\nKey Nutrients Electrolyte Powder\r\n\r\nThis supplement is not only easy on the wallet compared to competitors, but it is ideal for those following a Keto diet. Designed to rehydrate and replenish the body after a moderate or intense sweat sesh, it contains six electrolytes – Ca, Mg, P, K, Na, and Ci – as well as 12 essential vitamins and minerals. Completely clean and caffeine-free, it is best when stirred into water or juice and has a lemonade-like flavor.\r\n$39.99 for 90 servings at Amazon.com\r\nRELATED: Beat Dehydration for Good With These Expert Tips\r\n\r\nWhat to Avoid When Buying Electrolyte Drinks and Powders\r\n\r\nAs mentioned above, electrolyte drinks often contain unnecessary and unhealthy ingredients, which is part of the reason why a lot of health experts recommend you simply stick with water. (Of course, water is way better than caffeine-loaded, sugar water.) This is where most people look at their bottle of Gatorade and ask, \"Am I making a mistake?\"\r\nThis is not to say that Gatorade is bad for you. However, the thing to be wary of when it comes to sports drinks like Gatorade and Powerade is the amount of sugar your body is taking in. Both contain 21 grams of sugar per 12 fluid ounces. That's 56 grams of sugar per bottle (32 fl oz). That may not have ill effects on a person who is working out regularly, but that may be too much sugar for someone that's knocking back a Gatorade while watching a basketball game instead of playing in one. As we know, excess sugar intake can lead to weight gain, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar. \r\nCoconut water is another top player in the electrolyte game. While this drink serves as a great source of natural electrolytes and contains a ton of potassium, many of the coconut water offerings on the market can be high in sugar as well (it is a natural sugar but, nevertheless, too much isn't ideal) and calories. This drink, too, is best reserved for those who are engaged in physical activity or are in need of electrolyte replenishment, and not for drinking while watching TV, \r\nIf you’re looking for an ultimate thirst quencher, here’s what you should avoid:\r\n\r\n\tArtificial sweeteners: Sweeteners like sucralose (Splenda) and aspartame are used by many beverages to cut out the calories while still maintaining a decent flavor. Unfortunately, they can cause negative side effects like headaches, nausea, and even heartburn. Worse, studies suggest that sucralose can upset your balance of gut bacteria, which can create digestive issues, lowered immune system, and more. \r\n\tUnnecessary ingredients: If you scan the ingredients and see a laundry list of stuff that sounds like a science experiment, that's not a great sign — especially because there are plenty of products to choose from.\r\n\tBad reviews: As always, do your homework. It’s usually a good idea to research a product if you're unsure\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Protein Powders\r\n\tDo You Need to Take Pre-Workout Supplements?\r\n\tHow to Add More Protein to Your Diet", "keywords": "Best, Electrolyte, Drinks, and, Powders", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "81", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/the-best-electrolyte-drinks-and-powders/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1755175723.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/the-best-electrolyte-drinks-and-powders.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69643", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Do Vitamin Patches Work? Here’s What You Need to Know", "title_slug": "do-vitamin-patches-work-heres-what-you-need-to-know", "title_hash": "3a6c71cd1bddc9428b956b64bba56e40", "summary": "Can Wearable Vitamin Patches Replace All Those Pills You’re Taking?", "content": "Whether you take vitamin D and zinc for immunity, or amino acids and omega-3 fatty acids to reach your fitness goals, choking down a handful of pills and capsules every day can make it pretty challenging to stay on your supplement game. But what if there was an alternative? \r\nFortunately, there is: wearable vitamin patches. They couldn’t possibly be quicker or easier to use: just stick them on your skin and go. So, how do they work? And should you try them?\r\nRELATED: Vitamin Buying Guide: What Men Need to Know\r\nHere’s what you need to know.\r\n\r\nWhat Are Vitamin Patches?\r\n\r\nWith traditional supplements, you extract nutrients via your digestive system. After swallowing a pill, powder, or capsule, the vitamins and/or minerals make their way through the digestive tract into the small intestine, where they’re absorbed and can finally enter the bloodstream. But vitamin patches work differently. These are designed to be absorbed through your skin.\r\nTransdermal delivery isn’t a totally novel concept — consider how nicotine patches are used to help someone quit smoking, and estrogen patches are used for hormone replacement therapy. It’s just that now, nutraceutical companies are starting to apply this technology — which was previously reserved for niche medications — to everyday supplements.\r\nWhile vitamin patches are still a relatively new category, you can already find products aimed at improving everything from skin and sleep to energy and cognitive health. Some patches offer single nutrients, while others combine nutrients like a multivitamin.\r\nRELATED: Expert-Recommended Supplement Brands You Can Trust\r\n\r\nSo, Do Vitamin Patches Work?\r\n\r\nResearch on how effective vitamin patches are is still mounting.\r\n“The skin is designed to keep things out, so getting vitamins through a patch isn’t as straightforward as popping a pill,” explains Dr. Raj Dasgupta, a quadruple board-certified physician and Chief Medical Advisor for Sleepopolis.\r\nOne study found that blood levels of vitamins D and B6 increased in patients who used them for a year after bariatric surgery — however, they were still deficient in these vitamins. Meanwhile, a different study revealed that healthy adults experienced a noteworthy uptick in vitamin D levels after using vitamin patches for eight weeks.\r\nOne thing we do know is that when it comes to efficacy, research has shown that the size of the molecules matters. If the molecules aren’t small enough for your skin to absorb, then your body obviously can’t use the nutrients these patches are aiming to deliver. Barriere, a popular supplement patch company, micronizes the ingredients (to under 50 microns) — in other words, breaks them down into super small particles, so that they’re more easily absorbed and used by the body.\r\nThe materials a specific patch is made with, the dosage of vitamins in the patch, and even where you place the patch on your body can all impact how well it works. That’s why following the product’s instructions is key — brands will typically specify where to apply the patch and how often (say, every day or every other day for 12 hours). As a general rule, vitamin patches adhere more easily to thinner-skinned areas with less hair and oil production, like the inside of your wrist or on your shoulder. Make sure you apply them to clean, dry skin with no lotion for best results.\r\n\r\nFinding the Best Vitamin Patches\r\n\r\nThere are already a number of brands offering vitamin patches, but not all are created equal.\r\nSomething to keep in mind: The FDA does not consider transdermal patches to be dietary supplements, because they aren’t intended for ingestion. That means the agency doesn’t regulate them as supplements. Because of this, it’s especially crucial to vet the companies you buy vitamin patches from. Make sure they’re third-party tested, which gives you reassurance that they contain the dosage of nutrients promised.\r\nOf the brands we examined, Barriere stands out for several reasons. For one, every single batch of vitamin patches gets third-party tested. Not only that, but the brand has carefully selected ingredients that have strong scientific evidence demonstrating benefits, and formulas that meet E.U. regulations. The U.S. vitamin regulations are notoriously lax compared to other parts of the world — but Barriere’s factory is certified not only in the U.S., but also in the UK, EU, and Australia, among other countries where regulations are more strict.\r\nBarriere’s patches are hypoallergenic, which is noteworthy given that skin reactions are really the only potential side effect with vitamin patches. And to ensure maximum effectiveness, these patches are also water-resistant.\r\n\r\nThe Bottom Line\r\n\r\nThere are definitely a few advantages to vitamin patches worth noting. Researchers have found that when people use these as opposed to pills, they’re less likely to miss doses, and to experience gastrointestinal side effects.\r\n“For people who have trouble swallowing pills or have digestive problems that make absorbing nutrients tough, patches could be a useful alternative,” says Dr. Dasgupta. “They’re also convenient. And because they bypass the stomach, there’s less chance of upsetting your gut.”\r\nThat said, vitamin patches are only worth investing in if your body can actually absorb the nutrients they offer.\r\n“Look for patches that clearly say how much of each vitamin you’re getting and have been tested by a third party to back up those claims,” Dr. Dasgupta tells AskMen. “Watch out for ones that promise the moon without proof, and always check with your doctor before trying something new.\"\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nFitness Awards 2025: Best SupplementsThe Best Food Supplements for Better HealthWhy Liposomal Supplements Are the Way of the Future", "keywords": ", Vitamin, Patches, Work, Here’s, What, You, Need, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/do-vitamin-patches-work-heres-what-you-need-to-know/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1755184241.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/do-vitamin-patches-work-heres-what-you-need-to-know.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69642", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: How Do I Deal with Rejection While Gay Dating?", "title_slug": "str8curious-how-do-i-deal-with-rejection-while-gay-dating", "title_hash": "bfeaf4e0720e97a2e745588baadefb28", "summary": "The Keys to Overcoming Harsh Rejections & Ghosting as a Gay Man Looking for Love", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\r\nThe Question\r\n“I am new to dating guys and have found them to be particularly harsh when it comes to rejection. They either ghost or block on apps and seem to only be interested in one-night stands. Is this the norm? If so, how can I protect myself moving forward since this is starting to affect my self-esteem?” - Milo, Brooklyn, NY \r\nThe Answer\r\nAdmittedly, this is the first time in Str8Curious history where I’ve felt like the most qualified and unqualified person to answer this question. \r\nI am notoriously horrible with rejection. If a guy breaks my heart, I don’t receive a job offer, or face any of life’s more common adversities, my reaction comes in three phases:\r\nRage. A quick look at my interior monologue: How on earth can someone deny ME? ME! I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m kind, I’m educated, I tick all of the societal boxes of what it means to be a good romantic partner, friend, employee, etc. These people don’t deserve me. I hate the world. Why even try anymore? Everyone sucks. Let me look into real estate on deserted islands so that I can be as far away from human life as possible. Depression. The reality of not getting what I want sets in and converts to chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream binge sessions on the couch. This is when I start to feel sorry for myself and confront the disappointment that I’m not going to be with a certain person or part of an organization that I admire. A funk can last for days or even weeks. And despite desperate attempts to alleviate it through social events, fitness, and anything that can be filed under “self-care,” it takes a huge physical and mental toll that is difficult to snap out of without therapy and medication.Blaming myself. As sadness dissipates, my mind paves the way to reflect and ask questions. Except these questions are often damaging and have me searching for shortcomings. If I consistently face rejection and am in situations where I’m not getting what I want, there has to be some type of problem with me that I’m not seeing. After all, I’m the recurring theme here. Is it my personality? The way I dress? The fact that my left eye is slightly smaller than my right? This nitpicking is an extremely unhealthy habit that, ultimately, makes me look for quick, temporary fixes and serotonin boosts. \r\nWhile I continue to go through these motions every so often (nobody’s perfect), I was fortunate enough to find a therapist who helped me hit pause and recognize two important factors to keep in mind as I begin to spiral. Call it mindfulness, call it self-awareness, call it whatever you’d like, but if you are down in the dumps, especially when it comes to rejection from a boy, always remember this:\r\nRejection is, most of the time, in no way a reflection of you. And you’ll likely never receive concrete feedback as to why someone has decided to part ways. While frustrating and sad, take a beat and remind yourself that you may not be privy to what’s going on in their personal lives. Maybe they feel threatened by your success. Maybe your confidence can be intimidating. Maybe your sense of humor reminds them of a toxic ex. We aren’t afforded the time and luxury of having all of these questions answered, but we can control how we respond. And if it is a genuine lack of attraction on their end, consider the rejection to be a blessing. You never want to be with someone who doesn’t value you and your most authentic self. That’s the recipe for a relationship disaster. \r\nGays are notoriously harsh with rejection because hurt people hurt others. Think about it — for many gay men, we grew up being othered and ostracized for our entire early lives. It can now feel good, at least temporarily, to reverse roles and maintain a position of control. This can sometimes come at the expense of others, as there is a morbid satisfaction in inflicting the same type of pain that was once inflicted upon you.\r\nIs this right or even healthy? Of course not. Is this something that people don’t always realize they’re doing? Yes. One can easily assume that all gay men have overcome the same obstacles and developed thick skin. The reality is that these wounds never fully heal and, if anything, we’re more sensitive to feelings of rejection because we experienced them at such an extreme level. A “he’ll get over it” mentality isn’t right, but often stems from a history of trauma. Recognizing that a romantic partner may be acting out because he’s “broken” can help remind you of the strides you’ve made in becoming a decent and compassionate person. \r\nSome guys really just want sex. Gay men are horny. Period. There’s a whole lotta testosterone in gay relationships and sometimes dudes just want to get their rocks off and be on their merry way. While that can be annoying if you feel like you’ve established a deeper connection and this partner wasn’t upfront with his intentions, take a step back to appreciate the fleeting moment of intimacy and demand more clarity upfront in the future.\r\nRejection sucks, even if it’s an inevitable part of life. If it seems like gay men are particularly horrible by being emotionally closed off and not providing proper explanations for their actions, consider their upbringing. But don’t let this discourage you from dating altogether. We, as a community, must continue to flip the script and put an end to these bad habits by being upfront and honest with those we no longer want to pursue relationships with. It may feel uncomfortable, both as the initiator and receiver, but transparency is the foundation to quicker healing. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Gay Dating Profile MistakesHow to Come Out as GayWhere to Meet Other Gay Men Online & Offline", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, How, Deal, with, Rejection, While, Gay, Dating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "79", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/str8curious-how-do-i-deal-with-rejection-while-gay-dating/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1755265424.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/str8curious-how-do-i-deal-with-rejection-while-gay-dating.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:30:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69636", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Back to (Love) School: 7 Marriage Assignments to Bring You Closer", "title_slug": "back-to-love-school-7-marriage-assignments-to-bring-you-closer", "title_hash": "e7f791ca6d5e7efd42aa1fcc427117d3", "summary": "Strengthen your marriage with 7 playful love assignments that spark connection, laughter, and romance—perfect for busy couples during back-to-school season.\nThe post Back to (Love) School: 7 Marriage Assignments to Bring You Closer appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Strengthen your marriage with 7 playful love assignments that spark connection, laughter, and romance—perfect for busy couples during back-to-school season.

The post Back to (Love) School: 7 Marriage Assignments to Bring You Closer appeared first on The Dating Divas.

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My son was stillborn in the summer of 2017. Everything was fine in the pregnancy—until it wasn’t. At 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up at night with what felt like a constant mild contraction. We weren’t overly concerned. But because my brother was in town and could stay with our daughters, we decided to get checked out at our hospital’s labor and delivery department. They couldn’t find his heartbeat.

Caleb became one of the 21,000 pregnancies that ends in stillbirth each year in the U.S. That includes babies stillborn very late in pregnancy, like Caleb was. Each year, around 3,500 babies die after 37 weeks, but before being delivered.

(A quick note: I use the word “baby” when discussing my son’s stillbirth because that’s how I view him. This language, I recognize, is controversial to some as anti-abortion activists often weaponize “baby” to restrict reproductive autonomy. My focus, however, is to empower the pregnant person. Others may prefer different words for their experience with pregnancy loss, and they should be able to use whatever language fits their experience.)

I, like many who have experienced pregnancy loss, have long grappled with feelings of failure. I felt I failed to have a “successful” pregnancy; my body failed to do what it was supposed to do; that it failed to produce a living baby. Now, to add insult to injury, the Trump administration has introduced new economic incentives to encourage people to get pregnant—but only rewards live births.

As the parent of a stillborn child and a professor who has studied the matter deeply, I believe Trump’s attempts to pay people to have children, coupled with growing pronatalist sentiments in the U.S., demonstrate the hypocrisy of the administration’s so-called “pro-life” policies.

‘We want more babies’

Pronatalism, an ideology focused on encouraging people to have children based on the belief that reduced birth rates are a root cause of various societal and economic problems, is rising in popularity. In the U.S., President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance have both expressed their desire to increase the nation’s birth rates (especially for white Americans).

Before his inauguration, Trump said explicitly, “We want more babies.” In January 2025, at the anti-abortion March for Life, Vance similarly stated that he wants “more babies in the United States,” ideally born to more “beautiful young men and women.”

Just a few months after Trump’s inauguration, his administration was reportedly weighing multiple policy options to incentivize parenthood. These early ideas included a “baby bonus” payment to mothers after childbirth and efforts to “educate” women about their menstrual cycles so they can better understand when they are most likely to conceive. His team also considered expanding the federal child tax credit, which gives tax breaks to parents with qualifying children to help offset the costs of raising them. Some of those proposals ended up in the president’s recently-passed “big, beautiful bill.”

The potential “baby bonus” morphed into a “Trump account,” an investment account for every newborn U.S. citizen that receives $1,000 in government money, in the “big, beautiful bill.” That money is invested to grow until the child turns 18, when it can be withdrawn and used for qualifying purchases on education and home ownership. Experts say this policy especially benefits upper-income parents who have the means to make the allowed additional contributions of up to $5,000 a year to the account.

The new law also increases the amount of the federal child tax credit. The amount credited to taxpayers for each child had been set to decrease from $2,000 to $1,000 in 2026. Instead, it will now permanently be set at $2,200.

Importantly, these financial benefits are available only for those who produce a living infant. None of this money is currently available for stillbirths. A stillborn baby does nothing for live birth rates. A pregnant person can do everything “right” for 40 weeks of pregnancy, and give birth on or around their due date (yes, stillbirth still requires childbirth). But if the baby is stillborn, that person—that parent—is ineligible for any of Trump’s incentives.

These policies will likely accentuate the feelings of failure inherent in pregnancy loss. They certainly do for me.

Reducing stillbirths would be very ‘pro-life’

In this country, some people are much more likely to “fail” to obtain these live-birth related incentives.

Black women are more than twice as likely as white women to have a stillbirth. Lower-income women face double the risk of stillbirth compared to women with higher incomes.

Financial incentives tied to live childbirth won’t reduce stillbirths or address these disparities. The Trump administration shows no interest in the U.S.’ alarming stillbirth rate, even though it is higher than many of our peer countries, and even though reducing stillbirths would be an effective way to increase the nation’s birth rate.

In Trump’s quest to promote pregnancy, he has frequently expressed his desire to increase access in vitro fertilization (IVF), seemingly unaware that IVF is also a risk factor that doubles—if not triples—the chance of stillbirth. Moreover, his administration’s recent cuts to Medicaid will hinder access to prenatal care, and less prenatal care is associated with an increased risk of stillbirth.

Reducing stillbirths is assuredly a “pro-life” cause. But this “pro-life” president’s policies will not help.

Some parents whose babies die after birth can get benefits

Financial incentives for live birth cruelly reinforce feelings of parental failure. But that doesn’t mean it would make sense to give those same rewards to parents after a stillbirth.

A stillborn baby doesn’t need an investment account. Caleb isn’t going to college. He’s dead. When I started working on my family’s taxes in early 2018, I knew Caleb wouldn’t count for the child tax credit. I wasn’t going to incur costs in raising him—I don’t get to raise him.

But some parents whose children died shortly after birth can still get the Trump investment account and the child tax credit.

By law, if a baby is born alive—defined as breathing, or showing other evidence of life like having a heartbeat, pulsation of the umbilical cord, or voluntary muscle movement—the newborn counts as a child for the federal tax credit, even if the baby dies minutes later. Live childbirth has always been a prerequisite for the federal tax credit. For the new Trump account, if a baby lives long enough for its parents to practically open an investment account, they could obtain that incentive. The account would cease to be a Trump account when the child dies.

Live birth is the dividing line here. It signifies a material difference between parents of a stillborn baby and the parents of a deceased newborn.

But there’s no material difference. Parents of a baby stillborn late in pregnancy are, practically, in the same position as parents whose newborn has died. Both incurred similar costs in preparing for the child, and neither will be buying any more diapers.

Technically, live childbirth does improve the lagging U.S. birth rate. But like stillborns, infants who die shortly after birth don’t grow up and contribute to society. So both sets of parents are in a similar place, from the pronatalist standpoint. They won’t be raising that child; they’ve “failed” to add another body to the American workforce.

Yet the government is signaling that parents of deceased newborns are deserving of government benefits, and parents like me are not.

All parents need more help

I think it makes sense to apply some live birth financial benefits to stillbirth. Yet many in the reproductive rights movement find this idea extremely problematic because of its implications for abortion access. Applying the child tax credit to a fetus could theoretically establish “fetal personhood”—the anti-abortion legal concept that a fetus has the same legal rights and protections as a living person.

As a result, abortion rights advocates are extremely hesitant about, if not fully opposed to, the idea of tax credits for fetuses.

But it’s possible to legislate financial support without contributing to anti-abortion “fetal personhood” arguments. And that’s by focusing those policies not on the baby but on the people—the stillbirth parents—who would receive the financial support.

Eight states provide tax credits for stillbirth. The aim is to help parents with the surprisingly expensive costs of stillbirth. This includes some “fetal personhood”-curious, abortion-banning states like Arkansas, Louisiana, and North Dakota. But it also includes states where abortion remains legal, including Arizona, Connecticut, Michigan, and Minnesota.

Connecticut currently offers the largest income tax credit for stillbirth in the nation, at $2,500. It took effect on July 1, 2022—one week after the Supreme Court erased the federal right to abortion, and the same day Connecticut’s first-in-the-nation law protecting abortion providers who care for out-of-state patients took effect.

Giving people a tax credit following a stillbirth won’t erase the inherent feelings of failure. But it does signify compassion and recognition. The benefits have tangible impact, too, by helping parents with costs associated with pregnancy and birth. That resource is especially important when you consider who is most at risk of experiencing stillbirth—Black women, women with lesser economic means, and those who got pregnant via IVF.

About one-third of pregnancies don’t result in a live birth. Pregnancy loss is not a failure. It is an unfortunate, yet common, way for pregnancy to end. (It’s been eight years since Caleb’s death, and I still need to remind myself of this.) Government policies need not—and should not—treat stillbirth as a failure, but instead as something that deserves compassion. And it’s possible to do so without threatening abortion rights.

The post How Trump’s ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’ Fails Parents of Stillborn Babies—Analysis appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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We’ve had a decade of marriage equality—and that may be all we’re going to get.

When the Supreme Court decided Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization in 2022, it didn’t just reverse Roe v. Wade and eliminate the constitutional right to an abortion, it opened the door for challenges to all substantive due process rights cases. These are cases that relate to the intimate areas of a person’s life: sex, birth, and marriage, mostly.

That means that Obergefell v. Hodges—the landmark case that legalized same-sex marriage in 2015—is squarely in the crosshairs. But people don’t want to believe it. And it’s making me want to walk into the mountains with no water supply.

I’ve been active on social media for almost 15 years, and for years before Roe was overturned, irate Twitter mobs would descend upon me whenever I warned that abortion rights were on the chopping block. People said I was being dramatic. That I should stop fearmongering. The Supreme Court would never take away the right to abortion, they cried. It’s been settled law for almost 50 years!

And then Dobbs came along, and the Court did exactly that.

You’d think being right about Roe would earn me some benefit of the doubt. But no.

Once again, I see people arguing that marriage equality is safe. Even some well-regarded lawyers and legal scholars have contended that there “aren’t five votes” to overturn it.

They’re wrong. The votes are there.

And when the conservatives on the Court train their sights on the other renowned substantive due process cases—Griswold v. Connecticut which legalized the right to contraception for married couples, Loving v. Virginia, which decriminalized interracial marriage, and Lawrence v. Texas, which decriminalized same-sex intimacy—it’s a pretty solid bet that the votes to overturn those cases will be there, too.

No ‘history and tradition’ of same-sex marriage

The six conservatives on the Court have signaled either that substantive due process rights don’t exist, or that they should be limited to whatever white, property-owning men thought was fine in the late 1700s.

Substantive due process rights are unenumerated rights, meaning they’re not spelled out in the Bill of Rights or elsewhere in the U.S. Constitution. For the conservatives on this Court, if a right didn’t exist when powdered wigs were in style and the founders didn’t list it in the Constitution, then it can be tossed out because it’s not “deeply rooted in the nation’s history and tradition”—and gee whiz that’s just too bad.

If the “history and tradition” language sounds familiar, that’s because it’s the same test Justice Samuel Alito used in Dobbs to overturn Roe. And it’s the same blueprint the conservatives on the Court will use to reverse Obergefell and eliminate the federal right to same-sex marriage.

In his Dobbs concurrence, Justice Clarence Thomas explicitly said that Obergefell, Griswold, and Lawrence were “‘demonstrably erroneous’” and should be reconsidered. He wasn’t being coy. (Perhaps he was being coy when he omitted Loving v. Virginia, which struck down laws banning interracial marriage, from his list of substantive due process cases to axe. After all, it would make for awkward pillow talk with his wife, Ginni, who is white.)

“As I have previously explained, ‘substantive due process’ is an oxymoron that ‘lack[s] any basis in the Constitution.’”

That’s what Justice Thomas wrote in Dobbs in reference to Obergefell, Griswold, and Lawrence. He was referring to the rights to same-sex marriage, contraception, and consensual sex that those cases established.

Enter Kim Davis. She’s the former county clerk from Kentucky who turned her refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples into a decade-long martyrdom tour, complete with a jail stint and endless whinging about “religious freedom.” She’s back at the Supreme Court asking the justices for a second time to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges and eliminate nationwide marriage equality.

Davis has been locked in a battle with David Ermold and David Moore—the couple to whom she notoriously refused to provide a marriage license in the days immediately following the Court’s decision in Obergefell in 2015. Five years later—after some rulings didn’t go her way—she filed a petition asking the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell in 2020.

The Court declined, over the pointed dissent of Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito. Her case went to trial in 2023, and Davis was ultimately ordered to pay Ermold and Moore $360,000 in damages and legal fees.

She doesn’t want to pay, of course—so back to the Supreme Court she goes. Davis filed a new petition with the Supreme Court on July 24 asking the justices—for a second time—to pretty please overturn Obergefell.

I’m tempted to ignore Davis’ efforts because, frankly, the woman needs a hobby. But it’s not the halcyon days of 2015 anymore, and the current political climate is ripe for shenanigans when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights—so this petition sets off warning bells in my head.

Marriage equality is not safe

When I caution folks that Obergefell is not as untouchable as they think, I get the same tired cocktail of denial and delusion: It would be too complicated to undo. The polling is too strong. What about the Respect for Marriage Act?

Yeah, well, a majority of Americans liked abortion rights, too—about 61 percent. The Court eliminated federal abortion protections anyway.

Here’s the reality: Conservatives want to send same-sex marriage back to the states—the same way they sent abortion rights back to the states. And the way they’re going to do it is to claim that there’s no “history and tradition” of marriage equality in the United States and therefore it should be left up to “the people.”

The “history and tradition” language comes from a 1997 case called Washington v. Glucksberg.

In Glucksberg, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that the Due Process Clause of the U.S. Constitution—which says that “No State shall … deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law”—does not protect a right to physician-assisted suicide. Why? In an opinion penned by William Rehnquist (one of the two dissenters in Roe), the Court ruled that physician-assisted suicide was not “‘deeply rooted in this nation’s history and tradition’” or “‘implicit in the concept of ordered liberty.’”

Conservatives’ reliance on “history and tradition” language to strike down modern laws has proliferated in recent years.

In 2022, Clarence Thomas writing for the majority in New York State Rifle & Pistol Association v. Bruen invoked “history and tradition” to strike down a New York gun law that infringed on an enumerated right—the Second Amendment right to bear arms. And in 2023, right-wing Trump judge Matthew Kacsmaryk cited “history and tradition” in upholding West Texas A&M’s cancellation of a student drag show because historically, drag shows weren’t protected expressive conduct under the First Amendment.

‘Christian conservatives are coming for Obergefell’

They’ve been telegraphing it for years—through court filings, state legislation, and those not-so-subtle speeches at Federalist Society events. With the Supreme Court stacked with conservatives who are already comfortable tossing out precedent, Christian conservatives are just waiting for the right case to tee up the question of whether marriage equality should survive at all.

And with Kim Davis’ latest appeal to the Supreme Court, that case may have just landed in the justices’ laps.

Of course, they may turn Davis down again. But if there’s one thing right-wing culture warriors are, it’s persistent. It took 49 years to overturn Roe; anti-abortion advocates started campaigning against legalized abortion as soon as Roe was decided, and they never stopped. Opponents of same-sex marriage are just as fervent. If the Court won’t take Davis’ case, Christian conservatives will find a better one.

And when that case makes its way to the Supreme Court, the six Federalist Society darlings on the bench will rely on Glucksberg, the physician assisted suicide case, to take down Obergefell—just like they relied on Glucksberg to take down Roe.

Their reasoning will boil down to the same claim: There’s no “history and tradition” of same-sex marriage in this country.

They have six votes to end marriage equality

Why am I so convinced there are six Supreme Court justices willing to overturn Obergefell? Let’s start with the obvious ones.

Alito and Thomas have been blatant in their contempt for Obergefell since the day it was decided a decade ago.

In his Obergefell dissent, Alito referenced Glucksberg and complained that same-sex marriage is not “‘deeply rooted in this nation’s history and tradition.’” (Hey, Sam? The Constitution doesn’t actually mention marriage at all.)

And when the Supreme Court declined to hear Davis’ 2020 appeal, Thomas wrote in a dissent for himself—with Alito joining—that Obergefell amounted to “an alteration of the Constitution” and that the Court had “created a problem that only it can fix.”

In his Dobbs concurrence, Thomas argued that “liberty” only means freedom from physical restraint—it couldn’t possibly mean the freedom to marry a person of the same sex. He also specifically called for the Court to reconsider Obergefell, calling the ruling “demonstrably erroneous.”

Now let’s talk about Justice Neil Gorsuch. Don’t let his opinion in Bostock v. Clayton County protecting LGBTQ+ workers under Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act fool you into thinking he cares about LGBTQ+ rights. Gorsuch also signed on to Alito’s Dobbs opinion, which, again, uses the “history and tradition” framework to wipe out abortion. That is the blueprint for reversing Obergefell and allowing states to criminalize same-sex marriage again.

Justice Brett Kavanaugh signed onto Dobbs, too, and made a big show of saying in his concurring opinion that the Court’s decision “properly leaves the question of abortion for the people and their elected representatives.” That is exactly the argument conservatives on the Court will use to send the issue of same-sex marriage back to “the people”—the same way they sent abortion back to “the people” with Dobbs. As of 2022, 35 states still had laws criminalizing same-sex marriage on the books, by the way.

Justice Amy Coney Barrett is a social conservative who doesn’t believe the courts should invent rights not grounded in the text or original meaning of the Constitution. She clerked for the late Justice Antonin Scalia, who dissented in Obergefell in his quintessential caustic style. And she helped vaporize Roe without hesitation. Why would she not do the same to Obergefell?

And Chief Justice John Roberts? He may not have joined Alito’s dissent in Dobbs—preferring instead to write his own separate opinion—but don’t mistake that for moderation. Roberts was all-in on dismantling abortion rights—he just wanted to do it more slowly. (And ultimately, he concurred in the Dobbs judgment that Mississippi’s 15-week ban was constitutional.)

Roberts exhibited no such restraint about same-sex marriage. In Obergefell, Roberts disagreed with the ruling so strongly that he read his dissent from the bench—a move reserved for when judges are really mad, and they want everybody to know it. The Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage had “nothing to do” with the Constitution, Roberts groused.

The Court doesn’t care much for public opinion

As for polling? Don’t talk to me about polling. Gallup surveys show that two-thirds of Americans support marriage equality, but that doesn’t matter. This Court is not responsive to popular opinion. If they were, they wouldn’t have overturned Roe.

And please don’t tell me the Respect for Marriage Act will save same-sex marriage.

The Respect for Marriage Act, which repealed the Defense of Marriage Act in 2022 and made it clear that the federal government and state governments must recognize marriages that were legal in the state they were performed—including same-sex and interracial marriages—is riddled with broad religious exemptions. For example, it still allows religious nonprofits to refuse to marry same-sex couples—which is why, I suspect, some of the 12 Republicans who voted yes ended up supporting the Democrat-sponsored legislation.

In any case, the Respect for Marriage Act would still allow states to refuse to issue marriage licenses for same-sex couples if Obergefell were to fall. Those states would only have to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. Wonderful. So queer folks in Texas could still get married post-Obergefell in California, as a treat.

Finally, some people have insisted that the Supreme Court wouldn’t dare undo marriage equality because it would cause too much political fallout. That’s the same argument people made, mistakenly, about Roe.

We know this Court doesn’t care much about backlash. It doesn’t care about democracy. It cares about enshrining a white Christian nationalist agenda into constitutional law. Just look at their recent rulings.

Marriage equality is absolutely on the chopping block. It’s not a question of if, but when a clean case challenging Obergefell gets filed.

And when that case arrives at the Supreme Court, mark my words: The conservative votes will be there. All six of them.

The post Same-Sex Marriage Is Absolutely On the Chopping Block—Opinion appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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It’s been about six months since the U.S. Department of Education sent a “Dear Colleague” letter to all schools that receive federal funding, warning them that they could risk losing this money if they promote what the department calls “pervasive and repugnant” racial preferences.

The letter, among other things, reversed previous presidents’ positions on how diversity, equity, and inclusion influences schools’ disciplinary measures. It advised schools to, within two weeks, begin to eliminate all discipline protocols rooted in DEI, on the grounds that this work is discriminatory against white students.

Trump also issued an executive order, “Reinstating Commonsense School Discipline Policy,” in April 2025, doubling down on the letter.

Trump’s letter and executive order exert an unusual level of influence over how schools can decide the best way to teach and, when necessary, discipline students. It also cuts against recognized research that Black, Latino, and Native American students are disciplined more frequently and harshly than white and Asian students.

I am an educational scholar who has spent the past 13 years analyzing school discipline policy. While previous administrations have issued “Dear Colleague” letters to schools, Trump’s is the first that frames itself as though it were law—setting a potential new precedent for the executive branch to issue educational mandates without the approval of the judicial or congressional branches of government.

While all but two states have responded to Trump’s letter, about half of them have said they are not going to comply with its terms—despite the administration’s threat of cutting funding if they do not follow the guidance.

Understanding DEI in education

Equity-oriented education, or diversity, equity, and inclusion, refers to an ideology and programming that intend to ameliorate patterns of racial inequality. In the context of discipline in schools, DEI strategies could include teachers having conversations with children about their behavior, rather than immediately suspending them.

Research shows that these techniques can help reduce racial discipline gaps in academic achievement and disciplinary outcomes.

The Obama administration in 2014 recognized this research in its own “Dear Colleague” letter to schools. The administration advised schools to either reform their discipline practices toward nonpunitive alternatives to suspension or risk being investigated for discrimination.

The first Trump administration rescinded this letter in 2018.

Then, in 2023, the Biden administration released a document along the same lines as Obama’s letter.

Trump’s February 2025 letter grouped all of these recommendations under the banner of “DEI” and argued that such practices are discriminatory, privileging students of color over white and Asian students.

In his April executive order, Trump reiterated that if schools did not eliminate DEI, they would be out of compliance with Title VI of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. This act prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, or national origin,

Public school districts regularly have to issue a certificate of compliance to the government showing that their work is in line with Title VI.

While the Trump administration characterizes DEI as “smuggling racial stereotypes and explicit race-consciousness into everyday training, programming, and discipline,” it does not define exactly what constitutes DEI programming.

This puts school districts at risk of losing funding if they maintain any initiatives related to racial equality.

Legal concerns with Trump’s directives

The executive office and members of Congress typically issue “Dear Colleague” letters, which are not legally binding, to advise schools and others on policy.

Yet Trump’s letter was written like a mandate and reinforced by an executive order, which is legally binding.

Some scholars are calling the letter an “overreach” of legal authority.

In the spring of 2025, I analyzed states’ responses to Trump’s letter and executive order.

Two states, Iowa and Tennessee, had not yet provided public responses.

Twenty-three states complied with the administration’s directive by signing the letter as of May 30. Some, like Oklahoma, not only certified the letter but also passed state laws banning DEI policies and programs.

The remaining 25 states refused to certify the letter, asserting that they already complied with Title VI and that their policies are not discriminatory.

In addition, 19 of those 25 states sued the Trump administration over the letter in April, culminating in a court injunction later that month that temporarily released states from having to comply with its demands.

I noticed that many states that refuted Trump’s letter used the same exact words in their responses, signaling a concerted effort to resist Trump’s directives. States that did not sign on to the letter but objected to its intent generally resisted on legal grounds, ethics or both.

A legal argument

Most states that rejected it grounded their refusal to sign Trump’s letter in federal law. They cited the Civil Rights Act and the Paperwork Reduction Act, which protects states from having to file redundant paperwork. Because these states already certified compliance with Title VI, this argument goes, they should not have to do so again under Trump’s directive.

Education commissioners from a few states, including Illinois and Minnesota, also cited specific language used by Betsy DeVos, Trump’s former education secretary in his first term, who supported DEI policies.

Charlene Russell-Tucker, the education commissioner for Connecticut, also pointed out that in order for the federal government to cancel DEI programming, it would have to first legally change the definition of Title VI.

States resisting on other grounds

Some education officials also argued that their DEI work is ideologically necessary for providing supportive learning environments for all students.

Patrick Tutwiler, Massachusetts’ interim education commissioner, wrote in an April 16 letter, for example, that “Massachusetts will continue to promote diversity in our schools because we know it improves outcomes for all of our kids.”

Other officials displayed more subtle resistance. Randy Watson, Kansas’ education commissioner, for example, affirmed the state’s “commitment to comply with all Federal statutes,” including Title VI—but did not explicitly address Trump’s “Dear Colleague” letter.

Similarly, Kentucky informed the Department of Education of its compliance with federal law, while simultaneously encouraging local districts to continue diversity, equity, and inclusion work.

Mississippi’s state department of education pointed out that school districts operate independently, so the state cannot force policies on them. However, Mississippi signaled compliance by citing a new state law banning DEI and confirmed that each of its individual school districts have already certified compliance with federal laws.

More legal pushback

It is not yet clear what might follow the April court injunction, which largely prevented the Department of Education from cutting federal funding to schools that continued their DEI-related programs and policies.

While the Trump administration has made major cuts to the Department of Education, it has not announced that states refusing to certify the letter will lose funding.

This is the first time an administration is issuing such a direct threat to withhold K-12 funding, placing schools in an unknown place, without a clear blueprint of how to move forward. $\"The$

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article by Hilary Lustick, Associate Professor of Education, UMass Lowell.

The post Half the States Are Bucking Trump’s Anti-DEI Demands—Despite Funding Threats appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Half, the, States, Are, Bucking, Trump’s, Anti-DEI, Demands—Despite, Funding, Threats", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "79", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/counter.theconversation.com/content/260479/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/14/half-the-states-are-bucking-trumps-anti-dei-demands-despite-funding-threats/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:01:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69158", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Unhinged Theory Behind Ending Birthright Citizenship and Creating Fetal ‘Personhood’", "title_slug": "the-unhinged-theory-behind-ending-birthright-citizenship-and-creating-fetal-personhood", "title_hash": "6bbe7823e5f8e33168c727eb72214b0f", "summary": "Conservatives are once again trying to define who counts as a person in the United States. \nThe post The Unhinged Theory Behind Ending Birthright Citizenship and Creating Fetal ‘Personhood’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In this episode of Boom! Lawyered Summer Session, Imani and Jess dive into the attacks on birthright citizenship and unpack the absurd constitutional arguments conservatives are making to advance these attacks. They are joined by Lourdes Rivera, president of Pregnancy Justice, who connects birthright citizenship to the movement to establish legal personhood rights for fertilized eggs, zygotes, and fetuses. Rivera also explains how conservatives are misusing the 14th Amendment to lob political attacks on bodily autonomy.

Imani is relaunching her column! AngryBlackLady Chronicles will drop in September 2025. Sign up for our newsletters here to read it first.

The post The Unhinged Theory Behind Ending Birthright Citizenship and Creating Fetal ‘Personhood’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Unhinged, Theory, Behind, Ending, Birthright, Citizenship, and, Creating, Fetal, ‘Personhood’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "90", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Boom-Lawyered-Summer-Lourdes-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/14/the-unhinged-theory-behind-ending-birthright-citizenship-and-creating-fetal-personhood/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:01:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "69156", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Patients in States With Abortion Bans Are the Biggest Users of Abortion Telemedicine", "title_slug": "patients-in-states-with-abortion-bans-are-the-biggest-users-of-abortion-telemedicine", "title_hash": "c1a520ea304106878308d5a8180d11f7", "summary": "In a new study, 84 percent of online prescriptions went to people living in abortion-ban states.\nThe post Patients in States With Abortion Bans Are the Biggest Users of Abortion Telemedicine appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

As conservative lawmakers work to restrict online access to abortion medication, a new report shows how popular it has become for patients who live in states that have outlawed abortion.

Researchers from the University of Texas at Austin led a team that analyzed 15 months of prescription data from Aid Access, one of the largest online abortion telemedicine providers.

They found 84% of Aid Access’s more than 118,000 online prescriptions went to patients living in abortion-ban states.

The South and Midwest had the highest rates of patients accessing telemedicine abortion. Rates were also greater in high-poverty areas or where people would have to travel more than 100 miles to reach an abortion clinic, according to the report, which published this month.

Aid Access is able to mail abortion medications to residents in all 50 states—even those in states with abortion bans—thanks to shield laws in Democratic-led states. Shield laws are designed to minimize the legal risks for people who provide or access abortions across state lines.

Currently, 22 states and Washington, D.C. have reproductive care shield laws, either through legislation or by executive order, according to a report from University of California, Los Angeles School of Law.

Eight of those states—California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington — specifically protect telehealth abortion providers regardless of where their patient is located.

Shield laws, along with difficulty accessing in-person abortion services in abortion-ban states, have contributed to a rise in medication and telehealth abortions since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the federal right to abortion in 2022, clearing the way for state bans. With telehealth abortion, patients have a virtual appointment with a clinician who can prescribe abortion medication, which is then filled by a licensed pharmacy and mailed to the patient.

Research has shown telehealth medication abortion is effective and safe, and comparable to in-person medication abortion.

Medication abortion accounted for nearly two-thirds of all clinician-provided abortions in states without bans in 2023, the most recent data available from the Guttmacher Institute, a research and policy organization focused on advancing reproductive rights.

But as abortion medication use rises, so have conservative efforts to ban it.

This year, more than a dozen states introduced bills to bar access to medication abortion by criminalizing its sale, purchase or distribution, according to Guttmacher.

One such bill in Texas, which could have been a blueprint for medication abortion restriction in other states, was specifically aimed at groups like Aid Access. It would have allowed private citizens to sue for at least $100,000 anyone who provided abortion pills in Texas. The bill passed the Texas Senate but died in the House in May.

Earlier this year, the state of Louisiana criminally charged a New York physician under its abortion ban law for allegedly providing abortion pills to a Louisiana teen via telehealth. New York, which passed a shield law in 2023, refused Louisiana’s request to extradite the doctor.

Last month marked the first federal test of shield laws, when a Texas man sued a California doctor for allegedly mailing abortion pills to his partner.

This week, a Texas woman filed a federal lawsuit against Aid Access and against a man who she said impregnated her, then spiked her drink with abortion pills. She is also suing the Dutch doctor who founded Aid Access, alleging Aid Access and its founder mailed abortion-inducing drugs in violation of Texas and federal law.

\n\n

This article was republished from Stateline, part of States Newsroom. Read the original article by Anna Claire Vollers here. Stateline maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Scott S. Greenberger for questions: info@stateline.org.

The post Patients in States With Abortion Bans Are the Biggest Users of Abortion Telemedicine appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Patients, States, With, Abortion, Bans, Are, the, Biggest, Users, Abortion, Telemedicine", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/mifepristone-abortion-660x440.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2025/08/15/people-in-states-with-abortion-bans-are-the-biggest-users-of-abortion-telemedicine/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-17 06:01:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68274", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Piggyback Screens (for Early Conversation)", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-piggyback-screens-for-early-conversation", "title_hash": "e94ba73516df842f9aa97ad7c232906f", "summary": "Discover ‘piggyback screens’—a smooth way to weave screening questions into early conversations, making attraction feel natural and effortless.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"piggback$ Discover ‘piggyback screens’—a smooth way to weave screening questions into early conversations, making attraction feel natural and effortless.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Piggyback, Screens, for, Early, Conversation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/piggyback-screens-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-piggyback-screens-early-conversation", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68273", "lang_id": "1", "title": "8 More Ways to Frame Yourself as a Lover, Not a Boyfriend", "title_slug": "8-more-ways-to-frame-yourself-as-a-lover-not-a-boyfriend", "title_hash": "fe4b0545b7135112d02242d1099bf40e", "summary": "Subtly frame yourself as a lover, not a boyfriend, with these 8 behavioral shifts. Make her see you as irresistible—shattering her resistance as you do.\nHere’s a topic I know the Girls Chase audience will enjoy. This just came up in another coaching call with a long-term mentorship student (I am getting a lot of good topic ideas from these conversations right now).\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"more$ Subtly frame yourself as a lover, not a boyfriend, with these 8 behavioral shifts. Make her see you as irresistible—shattering her resistance as you do.

Here’s a topic I know the Girls Chase audience will enjoy. This just came up in another coaching call with a long-term mentorship student (I am getting a lot of good topic ideas from these conversations right now).

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", More, Ways, Frame, Yourself, Lover, Not, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "88", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/lover-not-boyfriend-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/8-more-ways-frame-yourself-lover-not-boyfriend", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68272", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Advanced Sex Talk: Which Sex Talk Gambits to Use for What Purposes", "title_slug": "advanced-sex-talk-which-sex-talk-gambits-to-use-for-what-purposes", "title_hash": "6b0cc1f5ec869ce25e1b2076a6ef89bd", "summary": "Sex talk is powerful. But each sex talk gambit has different uses. Here’s how to choose which sex talk gambits to use for what seduction situations.\nHey guys. I hope you are all doing well.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"sex$ Sex talk is powerful. But each sex talk gambit has different uses. Here’s how to choose which sex talk gambits to use for what seduction situations.

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing well.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Advanced, Sex, Talk:, Which, Sex, Talk, Gambits, Use, for, What, Purposes", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/sex-talk-purpose-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/advanced-sex-talk-which-sex-talk-gambits-use-what-purposes", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68271", "lang_id": "1", "title": "LR+: 11 Lays in 40 Days (South America)", "title_slug": "lr-11-lays-in-40-days-south-america", "title_hash": "e68ea7f0e06f5bb11b4972e80fa6d340", "summary": "Forum member TheDude chronicles his journey through four cities in South America, and the 11 lovers he took there, from day game, social circle, and online.\nThis report by TheDude originally appeared on our forum here.\nHaven't posted on here for a looong time.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"11$ Forum member TheDude chronicles his journey through four cities in South America, and the 11 lovers he took there, from day game, social circle, and online.

This report by TheDude originally appeared on our forum here.

Haven't posted on here for a looong time.

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", "keywords": "LR:, Lays, Days, South, America", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/forum-11-lays-40-days.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/lr-11-lays-40-days-south-america", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68270", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Get Over Your Ex (& Stop Thinking About Her in Bed with Other Men)", "title_slug": "how-to-get-over-your-ex-stop-thinking-about-her-in-bed-with-other-men", "title_hash": "79a649e11c961430a7be1673200316a7", "summary": "Many guys struggle to get over their exes. Especially when they 1.) still claim her and 2.) don’t rebound right. Here’s HOW to get over your ex & move ON.\nA reader writes to ask:\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"getting$ Many guys struggle to get over their exes. Especially when they 1.) still claim her and 2.) don’t rebound right. Here’s HOW to get over your ex & move ON.

A reader writes to ask:

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", "keywords": "How, Get, Over, Your, Stop, Thinking, About, Her, Bed, with, Other, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "81", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2025/08/how-to-get-over-your-ex-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-get-over-your-ex-stop-thinking-about-her-bed-other-men", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68269", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs a Man Hasn’t Been Intimate for a Long Time", "title_slug": "10-signs-a-man-hasnt-been-intimate-for-a-long-time", "title_hash": "a997e5a207200df2e357bfb358d2c1cb", "summary": "You can tell a lot about a person without them saying a single word.It’s in the way they…", "content": "You can tell a lot about a person without them saying a single word.It’s in the way they…", "keywords": ", Signs, Man, Hasn’t, Been, Intimate, for, Long, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "91", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/long-time-e1754607858943.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-a-man-hasnt-been-intimate-for-a-long-time/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68268", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Signs You’re Driving a Woman Wild for Your Attention", "title_slug": "signs-youre-driving-a-woman-wild-for-your-attention", "title_hash": "510884ccc9f0d18358a9ea202168ccd9", "summary": "Some men think winning a woman over is about grand gestures, expensive dinners, or big declarations of love.…", "content": "Some men think winning a woman over is about grand gestures, expensive dinners, or big declarations of love.…", "keywords": "Signs, You’re, Driving, Woman, Wild, for, Your, Attention", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "91", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/WhatsApp-Image-2025-08-09-at-12.26.33-AM-e1754685319695.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/signs-youre-driving-a-woman-wild-for-your-attention/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68267", "lang_id": "1", "title": "80% Of Men Wish Women Knew THIS To Touch Them Better", "title_slug": "80-of-men-wish-women-knew-this-to-touch-them-better", "title_hash": "8760e7ef13166f67a67adda3ed7ce807", "summary": "There’s a quiet truth most men won’t say out loud. They might joke about attraction, they might talk…", "content": "There’s a quiet truth most men won’t say out loud. They might joke about attraction, they might talk…", "keywords": "80, Men, Wish, Women, Knew, THIS, Touch, Them, Better", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/80-Of-Men-Wish-Women-Knew-THIS-To-Touch-Them-Better.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/80-of-men-wish-women-knew-this-to-touch-them-better/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68266", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Real Reason People Cheat, Revealed by a Sex-Therapist", "title_slug": "the-real-reason-people-cheat-revealed-by-a-sex-therapist", "title_hash": "f9c3a4aac967d92fc444846d42249d8e", "summary": "When most people hear about cheating, they jump straight to the usual suspects. Lust. Boredom. A random night…", "content": "When most people hear about cheating, they jump straight to the usual suspects. Lust. Boredom. A random night…", "keywords": "The, Real, Reason, People, Cheat, Revealed, Sex-Therapist", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "78", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/real-reasons-e1754697139884.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/the-real-reason-people-cheat-revealed-by-a-sex-therapist/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68265", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Long Should Intimacy Last? According to a Woman", "title_slug": "how-long-should-intimacy-last-according-to-a-woman", "title_hash": "be4367074eae0cc1b3dbde7f2a151ded", "summary": "When it comes to romantic intimacy, many of us get tangled in myths, ideas like “it should be…", "content": "When it comes to romantic intimacy, many of us get tangled in myths, ideas like “it should be…", "keywords": "How, Long, Should, Intimacy, Last, According, Woman", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/12-ANNOYING-THINGS-men-DO-IN-BED-1-e1755072016199.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/how-long-should-intimacy-last-according-to-a-woman/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68264", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Solid Colognes for Men", "title_slug": "best-solid-colognes-for-men", "title_hash": "8a58ad546021c17a180058a1fe34d2f7", "summary": "Upgrade Your Everyday Fragrance With a Signature Solid Cologne", "content": "Rather than proving too bold or overpowering, consider making subtlety the name of the game as you scour the market for some of the best fragrances for men. And there’s another level to that pursuit: the best solid colognes, which adapt to your body and your surroundings over time, are both subtle and yet statement-making. \r\nThe best men’s solid colognes are also a change of pace from typical spray fragrances, in both application and portability, another crucial benefit for the man on the go.\r\nSolid colognes are often disposed from small, travel-friendly tins, with a balm or putty-like consistency (some even feel similar to wax pomade) that warms in your hands and at your fingertips. You can apply the best solid cologne for your grooming routine to the same areas you’d apply regular spray cologne, just with a longer lead time, so to speak. \r\nRELATED: Best Summer Colognes for Men\r\nThe right solid cologne will evolve its scent over time, leaving you smelling positively great all day long. And the best solid colognes come in just as many invigorating, rich, masculine and versatile scents as other fragrances — there’s a cologne out there for you, this time in elegant, solid form. \r\nFulton & Roark HWY 190 Solid Fragrance\r\n\r\nFulton & Roark are one of a crop of brands that actually built a fragrance business on richly crafted solid cologne before expanding into traditional fragrance. Its thoughtful scents are delivered in easy-to-transport tins with a rotating top lid, a neat feature that fits in handsomely with your valet tray. Beyond that innovative design, its scents, like the ‘desert wind’ tones of HWY 190, are utterly exquisite and long-lasting.\r\n$65 at FultonAndRoark.com \r\nDuke Cannon Bourbon Solid Cologne\r\n\r\nDuke Cannon uses its Minnesota roots to power its rugged and rustic take on modern grooming for the modern man, going so far as to use the bourbon rack houses at Buffalo Trace for scent inspiration. The result is oaky, woodsy and rich, with a lingering scent that stays on your body almost as long as a finely crafted sip of Buffalo Trace stays on your palate.\r\n$25 at DukeCannon.com \r\nBase Light Cypress and Juniper Solid Cologne\r\n\r\nThe great outdoors are assuredly calling this season (and beyond), so heed your keen sense of adventure and add a dash of refreshing pine scent to your daily grooming routine. In a seriously compact size, this cologne (available via the standout gear purveyors at Bespoke Post) should deliver the rich warmth of saffron, mulling spices and cypress with every application.\r\n$20 at BespokePost.com \r\nMisc. Goods Co. Solid Cologne in Meadowland\r\n\r\nA deep sense of attention to detail and high-quality craft is apparent every step of the way with Misc. Goods Co.’s solid cologne, especially in its handsome carved walnut wood vessel (inlaid with a brass tray for easy access to what might just be your new favorite solid cologne). The earthy Meadowland scent offers notes of everything from velvet to leather, patchouli and Himalayan cedar, making for a fragrance worth the higher price tag.\r\n$88 at UrbanOutfitters.com \r\nLe Labo Multi-Purpose Balm\r\n\r\nPart moisturizer, part fragrance balm, this distinctive and luxurious offering from the scent masters at Le Labo is the pinnacle of form and function in the fragrance world. Le Labo’s signature scent notes (in this case, lavender, bergamot and violet) pair well with the utility of a softening, moisturizing balm, but it can just as easily be applied to key fragrance touch points on your wrists and neck.\r\n$25 at LeLaboFragrances.com \r\nRocky Mountain Barber Solid Cologne\r\n\r\nThe best solid colognes for men should ultimately prove comforting, and comfortable to wear, along with delivering a dash of finely curated scent. Rocky Mountain Barber infuses its fan-favorite solid cologne with shea butter for softness, while its Coastal Riptide scent in particular calls to mind the “aquatic freshness” of the ocean. Plus, the 2-ounce metal tin is perfectly travel-ready for your dopp kit.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \r\nHero Soap Company Old West Solid Cologne\r\n\r\nIt’s sometimes hard to find brands making things the good old-fashioned way, or rather, finding a brand that’s deeply committed to both quality fragrance and domestic production. Hero Soap Company takes an old-school, all-natural approach to solid cologne, forgoing harsh modern chemicals in favor of all-natural colorants and a sleek, matte black tin for a pop of eye-catching design.\r\n$18 at HeroSoapCompany.com \r\nViking Revolution Men’s Solid Cologne Variety Pack\r\n\r\nStill unsure what scent might work well for you when it comes to your new favorite solid cologne? Viking Revolution, especially well-known for its boisterous line of beard care products, delivers a helpful variety pack of some of the best solid cologne on the market, boasting a rich array of scent options including ones focused on versatile Oud, smoky Tobacco and sweet Vanilla.\r\n$9.88 at Amazon.com \r\nFURY BROS. Black Beard Solid Cologne\r\n\r\nIf you’ve been craving an especially powerful, distinctly masculine scent to add to your grooming routine, it doesn’t get much more intense (or pleasantly recognizable) than notes of charred hickory and even a smoky dash of gunpowder. It all comes together in bold yet tasteful fashion with the all-natural, beeswax-based Black Beard Solid Cologne from edgy, underrated grooming brand FURY BROS.\r\n$17.97 at Amazon.com \r\nWalton Wood Farm Solid Cologne\r\n\r\nWhat is it about the best men’s solid cologne that calls to mind simpler times, perhaps even the great outdoors, rolling hills and the pursuit of adventure? There’s a sense of rugged appeal to the category, best exemplified by the playful, rich and strong mahogany and citrus notes of this outdoor-inspired solid cologne — be sure to bring it with you on your next cabin getaway for a scent that’s as close as it gets to a nature retreat.\r\n$21.14 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Best Rose FragrancesBest Colognes for MenWhy You Should Switch to a Solid Cologne", "keywords": "Best, Solid, Colognes, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "97", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-solid-colognes-for-men/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1755009360.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-solid-colognes-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68263", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Freaky and Kinky Things She Wants You to Do in Bed", "title_slug": "10-freaky-and-kinky-things-she-wants-you-to-do-in-bed", "title_hash": "e726c8aa85aa297b5b1ab469a70de77b", "summary": "Your girlfriend might be secretly into some seriously kinky things. Find out what she's dying to try so you can bring your sex life to the next level.", "content": "For many guys, women’s sexualities are something of a myth. They may believe women don’t get horny in the first place, or believe that women lie about what they want, or simply that it’s impossible to ever properly understand what women want.\r\nAs a result, tons of straight guys go through life not realizing that so many women are just as sexually excitable as they are, if not more, and without realizing what, exactly, they’re hoping for in bed.\r\nOf course, there’s some truth to the idea that what women want is hard to decipher. It’s largely because women’s sexuality is seen as a bad thing compared to men’s. Women who have a lot of sex are slut-shamed, while men who have a lot of sex are celebrated. It’s an unfortunate double standard that leads to women often being less open about their desires than they might otherwise be. Why open up about your kinky fantasies if you’ve always been taught that you might be mocked or punished for it?\r\nBut being curious is completely understandable. That’s why I put together a list of common female sexual desires — to help guys understand that women are often in the unenjoyable position of craving certain things in bed they may not feel they have permission to ask for. Of course all women are different, and there’s absolutely no guarantee that any given one wants any of the below things, let alone all of them.\r\nRELATED: Top 10 Female Sex Fantasies\r\nBut in my experience, these are 10 of the most common things she secretly wants in the bedroom.\r\nShe Wants to Talk Dirty\r\nDirty talk is the perfect way to set the mood or establish a new, kinkier dynamic in your relation. Because it’s taboo and charged with desire, naughty words and phrases can electrify an otherwise vanilla encounter with your girlfriend. A few carefully chosen four-letter words uttered by you to convey the intensity of the moment — say, in reference to the way she’s moving on you (think: “f-k yes”) — can help push her over the edge. So, too, can a few provocative sentences, like, “You’re such a bad girl, aren’t you?”\r\nPay attention to what she responds to — and how. For instance, some women may love being called naughty names during the heat of passion, while others may recoil upon hearing those kinds of words. It may take some honest discussions before you jump beneath the sheets together to get a grasp on which words are off limits.\r\nShe Wants Uncontrollable Desire\r\nFeeling wanted by the man she adores is incredibly arousing to most women. Let her know how badly you crave her when she least expects it to heighten her feelings for you. A simple “I can’t stop thinking about you,” or “Do you have any idea how much you turn me on?” can do the trick.\r\nRELATED: The AskMen Guide to Couples’ Sex Toys to Take Things Up a Notch in Bed\r\nDon't be vague, either. When it comes to desire, the more detailed and explicit you are, the better: “When you stepped out of the shower this morning, I could barely contain myself. I can’t wait to get my hands on you tonight.” When you have her alone, whisper in her ear all the things you find delicious about her — her scent, her skin, the way she moves, or her laugh. Throw in a few respectable squeezes of her thighs, a firm arm around her shoulders or waist, and a passionate kiss. If you’re strong enough, pick her up and carry her into the bedroom, or put her on the kitchen counter, your desk, or the bathroom sink. You get the idea.\r\nShe Wants You to Use a Vibrator On Her\r\nSurprising her with a 9-inch dildo when you’re lying in bed naked is not what I would recommend as a way of introducing a toy or two. If you’re new to using sex toys together and not sure how she’ll react, try one of my favorite lines: “Sweetheart, I read this article, what do you think … Maybe it would be fun to try?” A boyfriend who demonstrates his desire to give her more pleasure by introducing a toy will likely find the woman he’s aiming to please brimming with gratitude and, possibly, begging for more. \r\nShe Wants You to Undress Her\r\nShe undresses herself every single day of her life, but how often has she had you undress her? There are two ways to go about it: aggressively and gently. If you’re going the aggressive route, be sure she’s wearing something she’s not worried about tearing, like gym clothes or worn jeans. Pull her close to you by grabbing the fabric of a loose T-shirt. Take a firm grasp of her backside and slip your fingers into the waist of her yoga pants. Pull them down, smiling at her while kissing her stomach. The desire you convey toward her here can eliminate any self-consciousness she may normally feel about taking her clothes off in front of you.\r\nIf you’re going the gentler — and equally intense — route, hold her with one arm as you unzip the back of her dress, or delicately lift her blouse above her head, kissing her skin as it becomes bare. Tenderness here is key. It conveys love and affection and invites her to relax into the softer version of passion, which can be just as exciting as its more intense iteration.\r\nShe Wants You to Release Her Inner Bad Girl\r\nIn our society, it is acceptable, or even expected, of men to have multiple sexual partners and be interested in all kinds of different sex acts. But unfortunately, many women are still conditioned to believe sex is dirty, that multiple sexual partners is bad, and desiring something other than vanilla sex is wrong.\r\nRELATED: The Official AskMen Guide To The Erotic Art Of Spanking\r\nHowever, sex that's a bit on the rougher side can be very enjoyable for both partners. Some things you can try include pulling her hair in a sensual way to show dominance and force. Try a reach around while you’re mid-makeout session or, if you’ve already made it into bed, holding her backside firmly as she positions herself on top of you. She may also enjoy you sidling up behind her and slipping a hand around her torso to cup her breast as she faces away from you. Kiss the back of her neck while you do this and she’ll be yours.\r\nShe Wants Light Bondage and Blindfolds\r\nIf you have never used a blindfold or tried bondage with her before, proceed with caution. While definitely not for everyone, a lot of women do fantasize about it and the freedom surrendering brings. Blindfolding and bondage can be a powerful turn on because in addition to the element of surprise they bring, it allows one partner to let the other take all the responsibility for the sex they are having. Bondage is seductive to many because it allows them to feel that they can’t stop what is happening even if they wanted to. In other words, they’re innocent and being led astray and made to do naughty things by this strong, sexually confident partner.\r\nJust remember not to rush her into anything and always be safe. The point of the restraint is to increase the sexual pleasure for her. A tiny bit of sensory deprivation if she’s being the submissive one can heighten the sensitivity of a woman’s body, and when she can’t see where you’ll touch her or kiss her next, galvanize her to beg you for more.\r\nShe Wants You to Go Down on Her\r\nMost men believe great sex means their penis is the large, erect, star of the show, capable of endless hours of pumping and positions. However, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., had it right when he said, “Sex doesn’t make women come and oral sex does, so men need to put the tongue before the sword.” Believe it or not, only 25 percent of all women reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Over 80 years of research documented in Elisabeth Lloyd’s book “The Case of the Female Orgasm” brings us this mood-deflating fact.\r\nRest assured this statistic doesn’t fluctuate based on the size or shape of a man’s penis, nor, for that matter, does it hinge on the duration of intercourse. In contrast, the number of women who climax from oral sex is much higher, according to Kerner, hitting 81 percent. That means men need to get to work without making their time in the bedroom all about them.\r\nIf you ever need a little extra help to get your cunnilingus skills where they should be, naturally, there’s an app for that.\r\nRELATED: The Top 10 Common Female Sexual Fantasies, Revealed\r\nIf you know that you're a novice when it comes to giving her oral sex, but you want to improve, consider signing up for an OMGYES membership for $49. Launched in 2015, OMGYES is a pioneering site when it comes to female pleasure, offering you step-by-step tutorials and clear guides for becoming a master of her pleasure.\r\nShe Wants You to Suck On Her Toes\r\nYou don't need to have a foot fetish to appreciate a woman's feet, and while normally the toes aren't thought of as a particularly erotic area, it's exactly this fact that makes them erotic. If, in the throes of passion, you're so overcome by your desire for her that you take a normally un-sexy part of her body and put it in your mouth, you're communicating your passion to her in an undeniable way.\r\nAnd if the idea of putting her toes in your mouth turns you off, hey, you can always start with one of her fingers and work your way up – the message is the same.\r\nShe Wants Some Anal Play\r\nOk, this one absolutely requires a prior conversation and her explicit consent before you just dive in, but odds are good she'll want some backdoor play featured in your bedroom antics at some point — whether that's something relatively light, involving a finger or a tongue, or full-on penetration or the use of an anal toy.\r\nHygiene comes into play here in a big way, so make sure you've both showered before you rush into anything, but trust us when we say that, if you can incorporate this into your sexual routine, you'll both be happier for it.\r\nShe Wants Some to Have Fun in Public\r\nPublic displays of affection range from hand-holding and innocent kissing to full-on make-out sessions to the flouting of public decency laws. For some couples, a kiss in public is cause for excitement, but others might want to get a little more adventurous. We're not going to condone any law-breaking or illegal public sexual behavior, but you can still work within the bounds of the law and have some fun.\r\nSome safe starting suggestions include putting a hand on your girlfriend's butt while out for a walk, to having her leave your apartment in a skirt sans panties or, if you're really feeling frisky, with a butt plug inserted.\r\nExplore without judgment or shame what you both enjoy, and accept the fact that this process involves some trial and error. At the end of the day, open communication — in and out of the bedroom — is often the best aphrodisiac of all. Consent is key, and it’s important to fully understand what her intentions are if you feel as though she may be coming onto you. If you’re unsure of what she wants, just ask!\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\t8 Things Women Secretly Want in Bed\r\n\t10 Most Common Male Sex Fantasies\r\n\tHow to Discuss Having a Threesome", "keywords": ", Freaky, and, Kinky, Things, She, Wants, You, Bed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "72", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/145_love_secrets/askmen-lead-image-2x1-1755016393.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/145_love_secrets.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68257", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Ultimate Emoji Decoder Date Night", "title_slug": "the-ultimate-emoji-decoder-date-night", "title_hash": "0860df5a54050a5e635d0dab3ee933a2", "summary": "Turn emojis into a flirty, interactive date night! Decode clues, unlock surprises, and laugh together with this fun couples game. No printables needed!\nThe post The Ultimate Emoji Decoder Date Night appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Turn emojis into a flirty, interactive date night! Decode clues, unlock surprises, and laugh together with this fun couples game. No printables needed!

The post The Ultimate Emoji Decoder Date Night appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "The, Ultimate, Emoji, Decoder, Date, Night", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Screenshot-2025-07-17-at-10.07.17-AM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/the-ultimate-emoji-decoder-date-night/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68256", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Cinderella Rule: The Sweetest Way to Prioritize Intimacy Before Bed", "title_slug": "the-cinderella-rule-the-sweetest-way-to-prioritize-intimacy-before-bed", "title_hash": "ad39e56a5f7b5bc0b64c763a394da929", "summary": "One simple change before bed could transform your marriage. See why couples are falling in love with the Cinderella Rule—no glass slippers required.\nThe post The Cinderella Rule: The Sweetest Way to Prioritize Intimacy Before Bed appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

One simple change before bed could transform your marriage. See why couples are falling in love with the Cinderella Rule—no glass slippers required.

The post The Cinderella Rule: The Sweetest Way to Prioritize Intimacy Before Bed appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "The, Cinderella, Rule:, The, Sweetest, Way, Prioritize, Intimacy, Before, Bed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Screenshot-2025-07-25-at-11.19.15-AM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/the-cinderella-rule-the-sweetest-way-to-prioritize-intimacy-before-bed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68255", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is Tech Overload Draining Your Marriage?", "title_slug": "is-tech-overload-draining-your-marriage", "title_hash": "ea5f2ca1111f8c72ed34bf26083af064", "summary": "Is screen time pulling you apart? Learn how tech overload affects marriage and discover simple ways to reconnect—without tossing your phone.\nThe post Is Tech Overload Draining Your Marriage? appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Is screen time pulling you apart? Learn how tech overload affects marriage and discover simple ways to reconnect—without tossing your phone.

The post Is Tech Overload Draining Your Marriage? appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": ", Tech, Overload, Draining, Your, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Screenshot-2025-07-31-at-2.11.22-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/is-tech-overload-draining-your-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68254", "lang_id": "1", "title": "BIG NEWS: WE’RE REBRANDING!", "title_slug": "big-news-were-rebranding", "title_hash": "0fddb38eb669050cc78aec371eedeab1", "summary": "BIG NEWS: WE’RE REBRANDING! ", "content": "

BIG NEWS: WE’RE REBRANDING! ", "keywords": "BIG, NEWS:, WE’RE, REBRANDING", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "104", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Big-News.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/big-news-were-rebranding/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68253", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Marriage 101: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong During Back-to-School Chaos", "title_slug": "marriage-101-how-to-keep-your-relationship-strong-during-back-to-school-chaos", "title_hash": "8850e4801be05c9ca4731aadad58f5c8", "summary": "Back-to-school season doesn’t have to strain your marriage. Discover 6 simple ways to stay connected, work as a team, and keep your love strong. \nThe post Marriage 101: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong During Back-to-School Chaos appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Back-to-school season doesn’t have to strain your marriage. Discover 6 simple ways to stay connected, work as a team, and keep your love strong.

The post Marriage 101: How to Keep Your Relationship Strong During Back-to-School Chaos appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "Marriage, 101:, How, Keep, Your, Relationship, Strong, During, Back-to-School, Chaos", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Screenshot-2025-08-08-at-12.49.08-PM.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/marriage-101-how-to-keep-your-relationship-strong-during-back-to-school-chaos/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-13 04:41:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68085", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Sex Dolls and Society: Redefining Intimacy, Companionship, and Acceptance", "title_slug": "sex-dolls-and-society-redefining-intimacy-companionship-and-acceptance", "title_hash": "b6605c89114898ac4120f629cb02190a", "summary": "Sex dolls were once a subject avoided by many in a polite conversation but has now become increasingly openly discussed in Australia. For the most part, whether you agree or disagree with their use, it seems they bring in issues surrounding social relationship effects, perspectives on intimacy and to some extent, individual well-being. The Role of Sex Dolls in Combating Isolation The most basic social impact that these dolls have is that they give people who might otherwise lack any kind of socialisation or interaction company. It provides emotional support and comfort that can be difficult to get elsewhere. While these products cannot replace the type of companionability that a person can, they can fill a void for someone who might otherwise struggle with loneliness. While there is simply no substitute for authentic human connection, for others, owning such a product has become a means to experience intimacy and care when it isn’t otherwise available. How Sex Dolls Are Reshaping Views", "content": "

Sex dolls were once a subject avoided by many in a polite conversation but has now become increasingly openly discussed in Australia. For the most part, whether you agree or disagree with their use, it seems they bring in issues surrounding social relationship effects, perspectives on intimacy and to some extent, individual well-being. The Role of Sex Dolls in Combating Isolation The most basic social impact that these dolls have is that they give people who might otherwise lack any kind of socialisation or interaction company. It provides emotional support and comfort that can be difficult to get elsewhere. While these products cannot replace the type of companionability that a person can, they can fill a void for someone who might otherwise struggle with loneliness. While there is simply no substitute for authentic human connection, for others, owning such a product has become a means to experience intimacy and care when it isn’t otherwise available. How Sex Dolls Are Reshaping Views on Closeness and Relationships This also creates problems about how society views intimacy and closeness. Intimate relationships, as defined by the old way of thinking, are formed between two human entities. However, with the lifelike doll, this all defines […]

The post Sex Dolls and Society: Redefining Intimacy, Companionship, and Acceptance appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Sex, Dolls, and, Society:, Redefining, Intimacy, Companionship, and, Acceptance", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "79", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Screenshot-2024-11-25-at-09-59-35-Doll-Winters-Hat-Free-photo-on-Pixabay.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/sex-dolls-and-society/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-12 18:39:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68084", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Meet Firm Using Social Media To Ease House Hunting in Lagos", "title_slug": "meet-firm-using-social-media-to-ease-house-hunting-in-lagos", "title_hash": "e86c905b9290cf82287df9dae22174e7", "summary": "For many Lagosians, finding a suitable house or property can feel like a frustrating game of hide and seek. But in the heart of Surulere, a local tech startup is turning the chaos of house hunting into a simpler, faster, and more transparent process. Founded in February 2025, RentHouseSurulere (RHS) is a digital real estate marketplace focused on helping people rent and buy properties within Surulere and, now gradually, across Lagos. At the helm is Mr. Adetola Adegbohun, a product manager and digital content strategist, who started the platform out of a personal need to fix the broken system of house-hunting in his neighborhood. “I lived in Surulere and saw firsthand how exploitative and unorganized house hunting was,” Mr. Adegbohun said in an interview. “Agents were charging ridiculous fees, landlords made outrageous demands, and renters were often left in the dark. I knew we could do better.” That desire to create a solution led to a community-driven platform tailored specifically fo", "content": "

For many Lagosians, finding a suitable house or property can feel like a frustrating game of hide and seek. But in the heart of Surulere, a local tech startup is turning the chaos of house hunting into a simpler, faster, and more transparent process. Founded in February 2025, RentHouseSurulere (RHS) is a digital real estate marketplace focused on helping people rent and buy properties within Surulere and, now gradually, across Lagos. At the helm is Mr. Adetola Adegbohun, a product manager and digital content strategist, who started the platform out of a personal need to fix the broken system of house-hunting in his neighborhood. “I lived in Surulere and saw firsthand how exploitative and unorganized house hunting was,” Mr. Adegbohun said in an interview. “Agents were charging ridiculous fees, landlords made outrageous demands, and renters were often left in the dark. I knew we could do better.” That desire to create a solution led to a community-driven platform tailored specifically for the Surulere housing market. Unlike traditional agents or general property websites, RentHouseSurulere offers real-time property listings, verified agents, and digital content that tells people the truth about available homes. The platform’s edge lies in its hyperlocal focus and smart […]

The post Meet Firm Using Social Media To Ease House Hunting in Lagos appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Meet, Firm, Using, Social, Media, Ease, House, Hunting, Lagos", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "93", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/NEws-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/house-hunting-in-lagos/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-12 18:39:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "68083", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Do Long Distance Relationships Fail and Can You Make Them Last?", "title_slug": "why-do-long-distance-relationships-fail-and-can-you-make-them-last", "title_hash": "38dc0a65059df8daa11592730736ff16", "summary": "Long-distance relationships are more common now than ever before. In 2024, about 14 million couples in the United States reported living apart from their partner. Within this group, people aged 18 to 35 make up the largest part. College students experience long distance the most, with up to 75 percent saying they have tried it at least once. Even among those who plan to marry, three in four say they have spent some period apart before engagement. Success and failure rates do not lean as far toward one side as some might guess. Just over half of all long-distance relationships last, with 58 to 60 percent working out over time. At the same time, about 40 percent do not last. Many couples break up soon after finally living in the same city, with almost four in ten ending things within three months of reuniting. So, distance is not the only obstacle to face. Why Many Long-Distance Relationships Break Down Some reasons come up again and again when things fall apart: Lack of physical touch a", "content": "

Long-distance relationships are more common now than ever before. In 2024, about 14 million couples in the United States reported living apart from their partner. Within this group, people aged 18 to 35 make up the largest part. College students experience long distance the most, with up to 75 percent saying they have tried it at least once. Even among those who plan to marry, three in four say they have spent some period apart before engagement. Success and failure rates do not lean as far toward one side as some might guess. Just over half of all long-distance relationships last, with 58 to 60 percent working out over time. At the same time, about 40 percent do not last. Many couples break up soon after finally living in the same city, with almost four in ten ending things within three months of reuniting. So, distance is not the only obstacle to face. Why Many Long-Distance Relationships Break Down Some reasons come up again and again when things fall apart: Lack of physical touch and sharing space can make people feel removed from each other’s lives. This often chips away at daily intimacy and connection. Communication often gets tangled with […]

The post Why Do Long Distance Relationships Fail and Can You Make Them Last? appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Why, Long, Distance, Relationships, Fail, and, Can, You, Make, Them, Last", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "93", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/long-distance22.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/why-long-distance-relationships-fail-and-make-them-last/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-12 18:39:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67763", "lang_id": "1", "title": "MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE... KNOW THIS!", "title_slug": "money-cant-buy-love-know-this", "title_hash": null, "summary": "I am happy I was brought up from a rich family, though at my early life as a child, it was not easy, because of my dad and mum having quarrels and fights. But I learnt something, it was not natural but attacks", "content": "

\r\n

I am happy I was brought up from a rich family, though at my early life as a child, it was not easy, because of my dad and mum having quarrels and fights. But I learnt something, it was not natural but attacks.

\r\n

The love they share and train us, is beyond expectations — we are not just rich in cash but wealthy all-round. I have never tested poverty, I will say it anywhere!

\r\n

Midnights prayers and bible study have become my regular. Playing and being social have been my arms. Here I want to teach you something;

\r\n

Money answers all things, yes.

\r\n

Is money everything, no.

\r\n

I was raised with love. So if you discover that I love you, and you think you are using me — continue. That was how I was raised! Nothing can make me be foolish, because love of God is the foolishness of men.

\r\n

I will show you wisdom and give you knowledge right now! Most of you are busy asking me, Do you believe in love in our world? Yes, I do, I am a different person because of Jesus Christ.

\r\n

Some of you are asking, How did Didi-Omah learn to love? I envy the way he loves? Don't envy, I love and I love right! Love builds and not distracts! I was brought up by my parents with my siblings in love and with love.

\r\n

I thank Adonay for his love, and for Jesus Christ.

\r\n

Money can't buy love, any love bought with money, is lust and infatuation. There is nothing like fake love and real love — love is love. From the studies of the Bible and other studies; we have come to conclusion, that love is love.

\r\n

When you use money to win a lady to stay and remain yours, you wins her heart to be with you, you bought her body and her wholeness — not her love. Love wins naturally without gold.

\r\n

Money does not last, people are the real wealth. We need money for our everyday living, I know. We need love to grow, so without growth everyday living is impossible.

\r\n

When all of us, reject dollar for transactions; the dollar becomes useless — so what loose?

\r\n

It is transactions and exchanges, that make a currency worth. Without it, that money is worthless; without people that currency is lost forever!

\r\n

Understand this, she is there because of something to gain from you — it is lust and infatuation, not love. Love is selfless and of truth.

\r\n

Infatuation is foolish passion, lust is selfish desire — and that can't be love. Love is not enough, but it is the foundation that holds the building.

\r\n

Hear this, know this; a wise man said, love is greater than money. Jesus Christ said, love is the greatest!

\r\n

Wisdom is better than the weapons of war, love is the greatest — these are from the Bible. What we are living now is not love, but lust and infatuation.

\r\n

Tell a brother, I love you — the demon in him, will tell him, are you a gay! The brother physical reactions will shock you. Tell a sister, I love you — the next response from her, 'I am in a relationship' or 'I don't want you'.

\r\n

Be fine with it! It is okay to be different, it is fine to be misunderstood, it is good to be looked down on. Not everyone will hear you speak, it is acceptable!

\r\n

You will start hearing quotes from foolishness, and words from darkness. Example, love is scam: if love is scam — that is you are saying God is scam...

\r\n

Don't get me wrong, God is love. We are in the last days, that many love will wax cold. So why do you don't believe in love — he that love not his brother is a murderer — it is written in the Bible! I didn't not quote it.

\r\n

So the first day, you don't believe in love, you not a child of God. This one doesn't need prayers, bible reading, every day evangelism, everyday going to church. Playing gospel music — blablabla

\r\n

Lake of fire straight! For he that have Christ, loveth his neighbour and doeth good to all men — is it not in your Bible. Ye shall love one another as I have love you, by this the world will know that ye are my disciples — Jesus Christ speaking.

\r\n

We are in the days of many following the doctrines of men, instead of the words of God and teachings of Jesus Christ.

\r\n

I believe in love, I believe in Jesus Christ — there is no love without hospitality, pains, and giving. I repeat, there is nothing like fake love and real love.

\r\n

We have one love, and lust and infatuation — lust and infatuation — love is love!

\r\n

Don't force anyone into your life, leave them with choices — just as God leave us with choices. We are going to stop here, next time — I will show you what love truly is.

\r\n

See: 1 Corinthians 13

\r\n

Founder, DIDI-OMAH

", "keywords": "", "user_id": "115", "category_id": "27", "image_big": "uploads/images/202507/image_750x_68849ccbcace9.jpg", "image_mid": "uploads/images/202507/image_750x415_68849ccbd92d5.jpg", "image_small": "uploads/images/202507/image_100x75_68849ccbe3a7f.jpg", "image_slider": "uploads/images/202507/image_650x433_68849ccbe98e3.jpg", "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "0", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "0", "post_url": null, "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-08-08 06:42:07", "username": "Didi-Omah Diary", "user_slug": "didiomahdiary", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67490", "lang_id": "1", "title": "She say, she don't like broke guys", "title_slug": "she-say-she-dont-like-broke-guys", "title_hash": null, "summary": "She say, she don't like broke guys\r\nI say, I don't like dull ladies\r\nShe say, she can't date poor man\r\nI say, I can't marry poor woman (too)", "content": "

She say, she don't like broke guys

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I say, I don't like dull ladies

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She say, she can't date poor man

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I say, I can't marry poor woman (too)

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Since you no wan suffer... Me no wan suffer for real!

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Who sef like like to suffer? (Tell me)

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She say, she don't like stress

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I told her, me I like stress — I don't like drama; I hate drama queens!

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But no try to overstressed me — I will walk out from you, it's not good for my health, that's truth.

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All you do is post videos, about you, shaking your ass online — you think the world evolve around your waist. Talking relationship, everyday boyfriend this!

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I am not here to judge, I know no one is perfect. I love you that's all. But can not marry for beauty and good body, you are sexy; no doubt — I love my children right! I choose a wife, that's a helper and that is right for me.

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Cause you are not just my wife, you are the mother of my children (too). My playmate, my gist mate, and business partner (too).

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I will show you to the world and to my God — no be joke I dey joke. I won't be happy, when they talk about you rude and disrespect you because of your ill!

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Your past don't matter, I understand. Only when you change from your dirty past, moving forward with a renewed mind! Doing something good and worthy... (Right!)

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I love you and there is nothing you can do about it.

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I love you and there is nothing I can do about it.

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I love you and there is nothing anybody can do about it.

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Even Adonay knows I love right; my soul attracted to you — not just my heart!

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It is up to you. It is in your hands, and you are the one to accept or decline my admission into your life!

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I force no one, and that's my life — only Adonay I serve with all I have! Rejecting me, is what I want. Accepting me is what I need — don't be confused! I force no one into my life, and that's my life.

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Keep loving more!

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When AWARENESS matters!

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When REACHING more people is needed!

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When GETTING customers everyday is prayer request!

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Choose DOACWEB ADVERTISING....

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", "keywords": "", "user_id": "115", "category_id": "27", "image_big": "uploads/images/202507/image_750x_68849c71d7ee4.jpg", "image_mid": "uploads/images/202507/image_750x415_68849c71de437.jpg", "image_small": "uploads/images/202507/image_100x75_68849c71e5726.jpg", "image_slider": "uploads/images/202507/image_650x433_68849c71e8103.jpg", "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "102", "slider_order": "0", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "0", "post_url": null, "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-07-26 04:15:36", "username": "Didi-Omah Diary", "user_slug": "didiomahdiary", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67486", "lang_id": "1", "title": "If I Were A Single Lady Between 18-27years of Age, I Will Avoid These 7 Mistakes If I Don’t Want To Regret It Before I Get To 30", "title_slug": "if-i-were-a-single-lady-between-18-27years-of-age-i-will-avoid-these-7-mistakes-if-i-dont-want-to-regret-it-before-i-get-to-30", "title_hash": null, "summary": "As a toddler, nothing concerns you with relationships. \r\nBut the moment you are between 18–27 just consider that your life’s launchpad. Decisions here will either prepare you for peace or package you for premium tears at 30", "content": "

If I Were A Single Lady Between 18-27years of Age, I Will Avoid These 7 Mistakes If I Don’t Want To Regret It Before I Get To 30.

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As a toddler, nothing concerns you with relationships.

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But the moment you are between 18–27 just consider that your life’s launchpad. Decisions here will either prepare you for peace or package you for premium tears at 30.

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I know you can right your wrongs but do you want your life to become a laboratory experiment before you learn?

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Nwanne, avoid these 7 potholes if you don’t want to cry blaaad:

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1. Spending your “building years” on frivolities.

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Hanty, for instance, looking pretty is great. But don’t spend your entire 20s curating selfies and ignoring skills.

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Looks will bring attention. Men will gather like houseflies around you but to avoid being used and dumped, value will get the best genuinely interested in you.

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The world doesn’t owe you soft life, you build it.

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So learn a skill and build something. You can start small. Even your “kitchen business” can become a brand.

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2. Dating men you have to manage like broken appliances.

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At 25, you shouldn’t be a in relationship with a guy that is inconsistent or the one that has ghosted you 4 times. To add to the p@in, he is now emotionally unavailable.

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Annoyingly, you’re still saying, “Maybe he’ll change.”

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Hmmm…you’re not the Holy Spirit. Stop trying to fix grown men.

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If he’s not ready, respect yourself and leave before 30 meets you confused and drained.

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3. Following the “men are scum” online committee.

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Yes, heartbreak hurts. But don’t generalize all men because of one “Kunle” with anger issues.

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Healing is your responsibility.

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Bi!terness will block you from recognizing the good one when he shows up.

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Don’t let pain become your personality. Choose the option that leads to healing and along the line, you will open your heart again but this time, with sense.

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4. Living online and wasting time.

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You’re in every gossip blog comment section, typing and writing rubbish to the point that you can’t stay off social media for 30 minutes.

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But your CV is dry, and your brain is bored.

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You’re scrolling through other people’s success while postponing your own.

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If i were you, i will balance my online energy and use my 20s to build a real life not just an aesthetic one.

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5. Thinking marriage will fix you.

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Small madam, marriage is not a rescue mission. If you’re lazy, entitled, insecure, or directionless now, wedding bells won’t change that.

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Take a look at yourself and fix your mindset. Fix your habits also and truly become the kind of woman who can thrive with or without marriage.

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Marriage should meet you whole not hoping for repair. No reasonable man needs such stress because he married you.

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6. Stop confusing exposure with maturity.

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Yes you’ve travelled. You wear Zara and other designers. Your wig even cost more than a truck load of cement.

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But that doesn’t mean you have sense.

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Wisdom isn’t about passport stamps and ability to speak English, it’s about decisions.

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Nne, grow emotionally and mentally so that you will know how to manage conflict and also know how to say no to Emeka when he starts telling you one thing one thing. That’s maturity.

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7. Putting God on 'Do Not Disturb'.

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You love partying to the point that you will spend days and months planning and even pepper online watchers with pictures but you don’t know how to pray nor do you have the fruits of the spirit evident in your life.

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You quote “grace” but ignore discipline.

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And now you're asking, “Why is life hard?”

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Small madam, you need God more in your 20s than ever.

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He’s not just for Sundays, He’s for your decisions, your circle, your sanity.

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Don’t blow your foundation, then start looking for spiritual cement at 30.

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I hope you will understand that these years are not for waiting, they’re for becoming.

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Don’t be that lady who wakes up at 30 asking,

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“Where did all the time go?”

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Use these years to build your mind, guard your heart, invest in purpose, and choose your circle wisely.

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Because 30 is not scary, but arriving unprepared is.

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On Facebook

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Follow Mercy David for more educational content.

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#I_Will_Not_Marry_Nonsense

", "keywords": "", "user_id": "115", "category_id": "27", "image_big": "uploads/images/202507/image_750x_688498d81d7de.jpg", "image_mid": "uploads/images/202507/image_750x415_688498d8247c4.jpg", "image_small": "uploads/images/202507/image_100x75_688498d82bd98.jpg", "image_slider": "uploads/images/202507/image_650x433_688498d82e39c.jpg", "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "0", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "0", "post_url": null, "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-07-26 04:03:25", "username": "Didi-Omah Diary", "user_slug": "didiomahdiary", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67314", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Get a Man to Do Anything for You in a Relationship", "title_slug": "how-to-get-a-man-to-do-anything-for-you-in-a-relationship", "title_hash": "a4fb296661cde4c2260f1f0a8e60bfde", "summary": "How to Get a Man to Do Anythingfor You in a Relationship Forget \"getting your man to do anything.\" Relationships aren't about manipulation or control; they're about connection, understanding, and inspiring each other to be the best versions of yourselves. It's not about demanding; it's about desiring together. This isn't a guide to bending someone to your will; it's a roadmap to building a partnership where both individuals feel heard, valued, and motivated to contribute.1. Defining Your Shared Vision: What Do You Want Together?Instead of focusing on individual wants, consider your shared vision for the relationship. What kind of partnership do you both aspire to create? Openly discussing your desires, both individually and as a couple, creates a foundation of mutual understanding. It's not about a wish list; it's about building a shared dream.2. The Language of Love: Communication that ConnectsCommunication isn't just about talking; it's about truly listening. Express your needs and d", "content": "

How to Get a Man to Do Anythingfor You in a Relationship

Forget \"getting your man to do anything.\" Relationships aren't about manipulation or control; they're about connection, understanding, and inspiring each other to be the best versions of yourselves. It's not about demanding; it's about desiring together. This isn't a guide to bending someone to your will; it's a roadmap to building a partnership where both individuals feel heard, valued, and motivated to contribute.

1. Defining Your Shared Vision: What Do You Want Together?

Instead of focusing on individual wants, consider your shared vision for the relationship. What kind of partnership do you both aspire to create? Openly discussing your desires, both individually and as a couple, creates a foundation of mutual understanding. It's not about a wish list; it's about building a shared dream.

2. The Language of Love: Communication that Connects

Communication isn't just about talking; it's about truly listening. Express your needs and desires clearly and respectfully, using \"I\" statements to avoid blame. Instead of \"You never plan dates,\" try \"I feel more connected when we spend quality time together.\" But more importantly, listen to his needs and desires. Understanding his perspective is crucial for building empathy and finding common ground.

3. The Power of Positive Reinforcement: Celebrating the Good

Appreciation is a powerful motivator. When your partner does something that resonates with you, express your gratitude sincerely. A genuine \"thank you\" or a small gesture of appreciation goes much further than you think. Focus on acknowledging and celebrating the positive contributions he makes to the relationship.

4. Cultivating Independence: Two Wholes Make a Stronger Whole

$\"How$

A healthy relationship allows space for individual growth and independence. Pursue your own passions and encourage him to do the same. When both partners maintain their sense of self, they bring more to the relationship. It's about interdependence, not codependence.

5. The Currency of Appreciation: Showing You Value Him

GO HERE NOW TO PICK UP YOUR COPY OF LUSH TEASES™

Appreciation isn't a one-time thing; it's a constant current that flows through a healthy relationship. Regularly express your gratitude for his presence in your life, both verbally and through your actions. Small gestures, thoughtful words, and simply acknowledging his efforts can make a world of difference.

Building a Partnership, Not a Project

Ultimately, inspiring your partner isn't about \"getting him to do anything.\" It's about creating a relationship built on mutual respect, understanding, and appreciation. It's about working together to achieve shared goals and supporting each other's individual growth. It's about fostering a connection so strong that both partners want to contribute, not out of obligation, but out of love and a shared vision for the future. Relationships are a two-way street. Focus on building a partnership, not a project, and you'll find that both of you are naturally motivated to give your best.

", "keywords": "How, Get, Man, Anything, for, You, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK816yJ8pop1S8cVIEUJxQTiBmr60Ax9Ks5Arw7FwwKFGw64iKz_CfrJ3DcYtcjlhPxCitF_CMURsGnyWnDmKzisb19sKZ8JoAwc9bTVPo1024CpdYmRAe1qMHx-vRNiz6Tpdpp6zB92Bb-du9b31lQIRSljM9R66iIYp4b2ggVE5YaKahpvbsAZRCFz7K/w1600/IMG_8288.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2025/02/how-to-get-man-to-do-anything-for-you.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-07-23 11:01:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67313", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The three billionaires who owns the most expensive house in Nigeria", "title_slug": "the-three-billionaires-who-owns-the-most-expensive-house-in-nigeria", "title_hash": "e8afd650a1145554ed5fcd2d49a82d02", "summary": "Unveiling Nigeria's Architectural Titans: A Glimpse into OpulenceNigeria, a land of vibrant culture and booming economy, is also home to some of the most breathtaking and expensive residences in Africa. These aren't just houses; they're statements, monuments to success, owned by titans of industry, politics, and entertainment. Forget understated elegance; we're talking full-blown opulence. Let's embark on a journey into the world of Nigerian luxury, where price tags are mere whispers and extravagance reigns supreme.1. Mike Adenuga's Banana Island Fortress: Where Luxury Meets the LagoonMike Adenuga, the telecommunications magnate behind Globacom, doesn't just reside; he reigns. His Banana Island mansion, a sprawling estate valued at over $3.5 million, isn't just a home; it's a self-contained kingdom. Imagine this: a private beach kissed by the Lagos lagoon, an indoor swimming pool shimmering under a glass dome, a state-of-the-art gym for keeping in peak condition, a private cinema for e", "content": "

Unveiling Nigeria's Architectural Titans: A Glimpse into Opulence

Nigeria, a land of vibrant culture and booming economy, is also home to some of the most breathtaking and expensive residences in Africa. These aren't just houses; they're statements, monuments to success, owned by titans of industry, politics, and entertainment. Forget understated elegance; we're talking full-blown opulence. Let's embark on a journey into the world of Nigerian luxury, where price tags are mere whispers and extravagance reigns supreme.

Mike Adenuga's Banana Island Fortress: Where Luxury Meets the Lagoon

Mike Adenuga, the telecommunications magnate behind Globacom, doesn't just reside; he reigns. His Banana Island mansion, a sprawling estate valued at over $3.5 million, isn't just a home; it's a self-contained kingdom. Imagine this: a private beach kissed by the Lagos lagoon, an indoor swimming pool shimmering under a glass dome, a state-of-the-art gym for keeping in peak condition, a private cinema for exclusive screenings, and a tennis court for a friendly match. And because why not, a helipad for a swift escape to… well, anywhere. Adenuga's residence is a testament to his business acumen, a fusion of modern design and classic grandeur, where marble floors meet bespoke furnishings in a symphony of luxury.

2. Aliko Dangote's Ikoyi Oasis: A Masterclass in Modern Majesty

Aliko Dangote, Africa's wealthiest man, needs no introduction. His Ikoyi mansion, estimated to be worth upwards of $5 million, reflects his global standing. This isn't just a house; it's an architectural masterpiece. Think clean lines, minimalist décor, and cutting-edge smart home technology that anticipates every need. Beyond the expected private car park and outdoor pool, Dangote's residence boasts a private spa for ultimate relaxation, a dedicated game room for leisure, and, naturally, another private cinema. This isn't just living; it's curated living, where every detail is meticulously crafted to exude sophistication and power.

3. Davido's Banana Island Paradise: A Symphony of Style and Sound

Davido, the Afrobeat superstar, proves that luxury isn't just for moguls. His Banana Island mansion, valued at over $2 million, is a vibrant reflection of his dynamic personality and musical success. While it shares some commonalities with the other residences – an outdoor pool, a gym, and a private cinema – Davido's home distinguishes itself with a dedicated recording studio. This isn't just a place to live; it's a creative hub, a space where music is born. The design blends modern and contemporary influences, with bold colors and lavish furnishings creating an atmosphere that's both stylish and inviting.

Beyond the Price Tag: The Essence of Nigerian Luxury

These mansions are more than just expensive real estate; they represent the pinnacle of Nigerian achievement. They are symbols of hard work, vision, and a relentless pursuit of excellence. They showcase the best of Nigerian architecture and design, blending international trends with local aesthetics. These homes aren't just places to live; they're legacies, statements etched in brick, marble, and glass. They offer a glimpse into the lives of Nigeria's elite, a world where luxury is not just a concept, but a tangible reality. While we may not all inhabit such grand residences, these homes offer a fascinating window into the aspirations and achievements of some of Nigeria's most influential figures.

", "keywords": "The, three, billionaires, who, owns, the, most, expensive, house, Nigeria", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "141", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_v6AR_EQbwvKykeOH2s1I2dsYjths07CrNIbPpUvA79yv0ONlNVFZDv4wKYpf9QbMVj9ec4rwSmZi3Hn8b_9Qkx4c_FoXzNLaznjq4hmOYrMUbY4g=w1600", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2025/02/the-three-billionaires-who-owns-most.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-07-23 11:01:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67312", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The life of alinko dangotes wife , biolograohy, networth", "title_slug": "the-life-of-alinko-dangotes-wife-biolograohy-networth", "title_hash": "1532d3efd29a9d5093bec6c305cf99f0", "summary": " The life of alinko dangotes wife , biolograohy, networthAliko Dangote's name resonates across Africa and increasingly on the global stage. He is more than just a businessman; he is a force of nature, a visionary entrepreneur whose Dangote Group has become synonymous with industrial growth and economic development in Nigeria and beyond.1 His journey, from a young trader to one of the world's richest men, is a testament to ambition, strategic thinking, and a deep understanding of the African market.The Genesis of the Dangote EmpireBorn in Kano, Nigeria, in 1957, Aliko Dangote's entrepreneurial spirit was evident from an early age.2 While his family had a history in business, Dangote's own rise was not simply an inheritance but a story of innovation and relentless expansion.3 He displayed a keen understanding of market dynamics, identifying opportunities and taking calculated risks.4 His initial forays into commodity trading, particularly sugar, laid the groundwork for what would bec", "content": "

$\"The$

The life of alinko dangotes wife , biolograohy, networth

Aliko Dangote's name resonates across Africa and increasingly on the global stage. He is more than just a businessman; he is a force of nature, a visionary entrepreneur whose Dangote Group has become synonymous with industrial growth and economic development in Nigeria and beyond.1 His journey, from a young trader to one of the world's richest men, is a testament to ambition, strategic thinking, and a deep understanding of the African market.

The Genesis of the Dangote Empire

Born in Kano, Nigeria, in 1957, Aliko Dangote's entrepreneurial spirit was evident from an early age.2 While his family had a history in business, Dangote's own rise was not simply an inheritance but a story of innovation and relentless expansion.3 He displayed a keen understanding of market dynamics, identifying opportunities and taking calculated risks.4 His initial forays into commodity trading, particularly sugar, laid the groundwork for what would become a sprawling business empire.

Dangote's early success wasn't accidental. He possessed an uncanny ability to understand supply chains, distribution networks, and the intricacies of logistics. He wasn't just trading commodities; he was building a system, a network that would become the backbone of his future ventures. This focus on infrastructure and efficiency would become a hallmark of the Dangote approach.

Building an Industrial Powerhouse

The Dangote Group's growth is a story of diversification and strategic vertical integration.6 Dangote recognized the potential in manufacturing and moved decisively into key sectors like cement, sugar, and other essential commodities.7This shift wasn't just about expanding his business; it was about contributing to Nigeria's industrial development and reducing its reliance on imports.

Cementing Success: Dangote Cement: Dangote Cement is perhaps the most visible and impactful arm of the Dangote Group. It has become a dominant player in the African cement market, driving down costs and making this essential building material more accessible.8 This has had a ripple effect across the construction industry, fueling infrastructure development and urbanization. The scale of Dangote Cement's operations is staggering, with plants strategically located across Africa, turning local resources into a vital commodity.9
Dangoe sugar : Dangote's foray into sugar refining was another strategic move, aimed at addressing Nigeria's sugar needs and creating a self-sufficient market.10 This involved not only refining imported sugar but also investing in large-scale sugar plantations, demonstrating a commitment to backward integration and local production.
Other Ventures: Beyond cement and sugar, the Dangote Group has diversified into a range of other sectors, including flour milling, salt processing, and more recently, petrochemicals and fertilizers.11 This diversification strategy reduces the company's reliance on any single commodity and allows it to capitalize on various growth opportunities.12

The Dangote Business Philosophy: Vision, Scale, and Execution

Several key principles underpin Dangote's business success:

Vision: Dangote has consistently demonstrated a long-term vision, looking beyond immediate profits and focusing on building sustainable industries that contribute to economic growth.13
Scale: Dangote's approach is characterized by large-scale projects, massive production capacity, and an ambition to dominate the markets he enters.14 This scale allows him to achieve economies of scale and drive down costs, making his products competitive.15
Execution: Dangote is known for his ability to execute complex projects efficiently. He invests in state-of-the-art technology, attracts talented managers, and maintains a strong focus on operational excellence.16
Backward Integration: A key element of Dangote's strategy is backward integration, which involves controlling the entire supply chain, from raw materials to finished products.17 This reduces reliance on external suppliers and gives the company greater control over quality and costs.

Aliko Dangote's Philanthropy: Beyond Business

While his business achievements are remarkable, Dangote is also recognized for his philanthropic endeavors.18 The Aliko Dangote Foundation plays a significant role in supporting various social causes, focusing on areas such as:

Health: The foundation has been involved in initiatives to improve healthcare access, particularly in areas like maternal health, child health, and disease prevention.19 It has also supported efforts to combat diseases like polio and malaria.20
Education: Recognizing the importance of education for development, the foundation supports educational programs and initiatives aimed at improving literacy and access to quality education.21
Poverty Alleviation: The foundation works on projects aimed at empowering communities, creating jobs, and reducing poverty. This includes supporting entrepreneurship and small business development.

The Dangote Impact on the Nigerian Economy

The Dangote Group's impact on the Nigerian economy is undeniable. The company has created thousands of jobs, contributed significantly to the country's GDP, and helped to reduce its dependence on imports.22 Dangote's success has also inspired a new generation of African entrepreneurs, demonstrating the potential for building large-scale businesses on the continent.23

How many wives does Dangote have? Aliko Dangote has been married twice. This information is publicly available but detailed information about his personal life is generally kept private.
Does Dangote have biological children? Yes, Aliko Dangote has children from his first marriage. Information about his children is generally not publicly shared.
How rich is Dangote? Dangote's net worth is estimated to be in the billions of dollars.24 (It's important to note that these figures fluctuate based on market conditions, investments, and currency valuations). He is regularly cited as one of the richest men in Africa and globally.25
What tribe is Dangote? Dangote is Hausa.
Aliko Dangote's children: Details about his children are generally kept private.
Aliko Dangote's house: Information about his specific residences is not readily available to the public.
How did Dangote get rich? Dangote's wealth comes from a combination of factors: his early trading ventures, his strategic investments in key industries, the growth and diversification of the Dangote Group, his focus on scale and efficiency, and his understanding of the African market.
Aliko Dangote's net worth: As mentioned, his net worth is in the billions of dollars, but precise figures can vary.26
How old is Dangote? Aliko Dangote was born in 1957.27

The Future of the Dangote Group and Aliko Dangote's Legacy

Aliko Dangote's vision extends beyond his current business ventures. He has spoken about the importance of industrializing Africa and creating a more prosperous future for the continent.28 The Dangote Group continues to expand its operations, investing in new sectors and exploring opportunities in other African countries.29

Dangote's legacy will likely be defined not only by his business success but also by his philanthropic work and his contribution to Africa's economic development. He has demonstrated that it is possible to build world-class businesses in Africa and that African entrepreneurs can compete on the global stage. His story is an inspiration to aspiring entrepreneurs across the continent, showing that with vision, hard work, and strategic thinking, anything is possible.

", "keywords": "The, life, alinko, dangotes, wife, biolograohy, networth", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "83", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgntgB_ZWeeVwd0psLzfz0sPARGRznl8Y198cqa6U30g73dZfjSzKRgB7V73fjtZPfabvtVfpaEIPSD-10WssP3jdTzGXUh-JhQ0lcMr1UCYvdbpuXxfdYyGpUuSj1_T4YKEP2aOhJTIIJw6KOAUkgomsfvn9MjMJgir0Q2H_w-1ZVDIukroX6hzzOmgNAB/w1600/IMG_8301.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2025/02/the-life-of-alinko-dangotes-wife.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-07-23 11:00:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67311", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Captain America: Brave New World - What to Expect (Before We See It!)", "title_slug": "captain-america-brave-new-world-what-to-expect-before-we-see-it", "title_hash": "04da97e2c8db3a0275c3c9b48fbba0e3", "summary": " Captain America: Brave New World - What to Expect (Before We See It!)The shield. It's not just a weapon; it's a symbol. A symbol of hope, justice, and always doing what's right. After \"The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,\" Sam Wilson is Captain America in \"Brave New World.\"1 But can he really fill Steve Rogers' shoes? Will this new movie be good? Since it's not out yet, this is just a guess based on what we know. We're looking at what could happen, what questions we have, and why we're excited.What's the Story About?\"Brave New World\" means things are changing. The world is still messed up after Thanos. Sam has to figure out how to be Captain America in this new, confusing world. The movie might talk about what it means to be American, how hard it is for everyone to get along, and how some bad people try to take advantage of the chaos. It's not just a superhero movie; it's about real-world problems.Sam Wilson: A Different Kind of Captain AmericaSam isn't Steve Rogers, and that's a good t", "content": "

$\"Captain$

Captain America: Brave New World - What to Expect (Before We See It!)

The shield. It's not just a weapon; it's a symbol. A symbol of hope, justice, and always doing what's right. After \"The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,\" Sam Wilson is Captain America in \"Brave New World.\"1 But can he really fill Steve Rogers' shoes? Will this new movie be good? Since it's not out yet, this is just a guess based on what we know. We're looking at what could happen, what questions we have, and why we're excited.

What's the Story About?

\"Brave New World\" means things are changing. The world is still messed up after Thanos. Sam has to figure out how to be Captain America in this new, confusing world. The movie might talk about what it means to be American, how hard it is for everyone to get along, and how some bad people try to take advantage of the chaos. It's not just a superhero movie; it's about real-world problems.

Sam Wilson: A Different Kind of Captain America

Sam isn't Steve Rogers, and that's a good thing! He's his own person. \"Brave New World\" needs to show what makes Sam special, how smart he is, and how he connects with everyday people. We need to see him come up with his own fighting style, using his wings and his brain in new ways. Most importantly, we need to see him make tough choices and decide what Captain America means in this new world.

The Team: Friends, New and Old (Maybe Some Fights Too)

\"Brave New World\" has some familiar faces and some new ones. Sam and Bucky, who were in \"The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,\" will be back. Their friendship will be important, even if they disagree sometimes. Joaquin Torres might be the new Falcon, which will be cool. And there might be other Marvel heroes showing up!

Who are the villains in Captain America America ?

Every superhero needs a bad guy to fight, and \"Brave New World\" is no different. We don't know who the villains are yet! But they'll probably be connected to the bigger Marvel story. Maybe they'll be from the government or some secret group. Hopefully, they won't just be strong; they'll make Sam think about what it means to be a hero.

The Action: Flying to New Heights

Marvel movies always have awesome special effects. \"Brave New World\" should be amazing, showing Sam flying and fighting. The action should make sense for the story. It's not just about looking cool; it's about showing what's at stake.

Captain America has a rogues' gallery filled with complex and dangerous villains, making it tough to definitively say who is the worst. It often comes down to personal preference and what you value in a villain. However, some consistently rank high on the list due to the profound impact they've had on Cap and the world around him:

Who is captain America's worst villain

Baron Zemo: Zemo, particularly Helmut Zemo, is often cited as one of Cap's most formidable foes. He's not necessarily the strongest or most physically imposing, but his brilliance and cunning make him incredibly dangerous. He's a master strategist and manipulator, often targeting Cap's emotional vulnerabilities and playing on his sense of duty. Zemo's orchestration of the Thunderbolts team, and his involvement in events like the \"Civil War\" storyline, demonstrate his ability to inflict widespread damage and sow discord.
Red Skull: The Red Skull, particularly Johann Schmidt, is Cap's Nazi nemesis and a symbol of everything Cap fights against. He represents pure evil and embodies the antithesis of Cap's ideals. While sometimes portrayed as a more straightforward villain, the Red Skull's enduring presence and his connection to Cap's origins make him a significant and deeply personal enemy. He's also been involved in major storylines and events, often with world-altering consequences.
Arnim Zola: While not always the primary antagonist, Zola's twisted science and his willingness to experiment on others make him a truly horrifying villain. He represents the dangers of unchecked scientific ambition and the corruption of the human form. His creations, like the mutated Doughboy, are visually disturbing and often pose significant threats.
Crossbones: While perhaps not as intellectually gifted as Zemo or as symbolically potent as the Red Skull, Crossbones (Brock Rumlow) is a brutal and effective physical threat. He's a skilled mercenary and assassin, often employed by other villains to do their dirty work. His ruthlessness and his willingness to cross any line make him a dangerous opponent for Cap.

The Cast:

Anthony Mackie as Sam Wilson / Captain America2
Danny Ramirez as Joaquin Torres / Falcon3
Carl Lumbly as Isaiah Bradley4
Tim Blake Nelson as Samuel Sterns / The Leader5
Harrison Ford as General Thaddeus \"Thunderbolt\" Ross6

Release Date:

February 14, 2025 (United States)

What We Still Don't Know (But Are Excited About)

We still have a lot of questions. What will happen with Steve Rogers' story? How does this movie fit into the other Marvel movies? Will it be a good story that makes Captain America proud? There's a lot of pressure, but it could be great. \"Brave New World\" can show what Captain America means in a world that really needs heroes.

Final Thoughts (Before We See It):

\"Captain America: Brave New World\" is a big deal. With a great cast, interesting ideas, and the Captain America name, it could be fantastic. We're all guessing right now, but it looks promising. We can't wait until February 14, 2025!

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The best movies in 2025

Get ready, film fans! 2025 is shaping up to be an absolute explosion of cinematic delights. From colossal franchise showdowns to intimate indie dramas, this year's lineup has something for everyone. Whether you're a die-hard cinephile who lives for the Oscars buzz or just someone who enjoys a good movie night with popcorn, we've got you covered. So grab your tickets (or at least start planning!), because 2025 is going to be a wild ride. Here are The best movies in 2025

Let's kick things off with the big guns, the movies that are practically guaranteed to break box office records. These are the films that will have everyone talking, the ones that will dominate social media, and the ones you don't want to miss on the big screen.

Cosmic Crusaders: Galaxy's Last Stand:
$\"The$

(Summer 2025) The culmination of the Cosmic Crusaders trilogy, this epic space opera promises to be a visual spectacle unlike anything we've seen before. Think intergalactic battles, stunning special effects, and a whole lot of dramatic tension. \"We're pushing the boundaries of what's possible with visual effects,\" says director Anya Sharma. \"This is going to be a movie that audiences will be talking about for years to come.\" Starring Chris Hemsworth and a surprise cameo we won't spoil here, Galaxy's Last Stand is poised to be the blockbuster of the summer.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout 2:

$\"The$

(Fall 2025) Tom Cruise is back at it again, defying death and gravity with another round of jaw-dropping stunts. Seriously, how does he do it? This time, Ethan Hunt and the IMF team are facing their most dangerous mission yet, a global conspiracy that threatens the very fabric of reality. \"We wanted to raise the stakes even higher this time,\" teases Cruise. \"Expect the unexpected.\" With a supporting cast that includes Rebecca Ferguson and Simon Pegg, Fallout 2 is guaranteed to be a high-octane thrill ride.
Jurassic World: Dominion's End: (Summer 2025)
$\"The$ The Jurassic World saga comes to a close with this explosive finale. Dinosaurs roam the earth, humanity is on the brink of extinction, and it's up to our heroes to find a way to restore balance. Featuring Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, and the return of some beloved characters from the original Jurassic Park, Dominion's End promises a nostalgic and thrilling conclusion to the franchise.

Indie Darlings and Oscar Contenders:

Now, let's shift gears and talk about the films that are generating serious buzz in the indie world. These are the movies that often tackle complex themes, showcase fresh talent, and leave a lasting impact on audiences.

The Silent Symphony: (Fall 2025)

$\"The$

A poignant and moving drama about a deaf musician who finds his voice through the power of love. This film is already generating Oscar buzz, with critics praising its powerful performances and its sensitive portrayal of disability. \"This is a story that needs to be told,\" says director Lena Dubois. \"It's about finding beauty in the unexpected and the transformative power of human connection.\"
Echoes of the Past: (Spring 2025)
$\"The$

A thought-provoking mystery that explores the complexities of memory and the secrets we keep hidden from ourselves. This film is a masterclass in suspense, with twists and turns that will keep you guessing until the very end. Starring Saoirse Ronan and Timothée Chalamet, Echoes of the Past is a must-see for fans of intelligent thrillers.

Beyond the Hype: A Few More to Watch Out For:

Cyberpunk 2077: The Movie: (Winter 2025)

$\"The$

Based on the popular video game, this cyberpunk action film promises to be a visually stunning and adrenaline-fueled ride.
The Ballad of Broken Hearts: (Fall 2025)

$\"The$

A romantic comedy with a twist, this film explores the ups and downs of modern relationships with humor and heart.
The Art of Deception: (Summer 2025)

$\"The$

A heist thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat with its intricate plot and clever twists.
The Last Voyage: (Spring 2025)

$\"The$

A historical drama about a group of explorers who embark on a dangerous journey to uncharted territory.
The Dream Weaver: (Winter 2025)

$\"The$

An animated film that tells a magical story about the power of imagination and the importance of following your dreams.

The Future is Bright (and Cinematic):

So there you have it, folks, a sneak peek at the most anticipated movies of 2025. Of course, this is just a glimpse of what's to come. There are always surprises in store, and we can't wait to see what other cinematic gems 2025 has to offer. One thing's for sure: it's going to be a fantastic year for movie lovers. So mark your calendars, grab your popcorn, and get ready for the show!

", "keywords": "The, best, movies, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEWHf47PtPNqNUP5Ig1zcEU6tAh9uejc3VMnWICnyaaqX9voe78cUYwhROxiJ-7DSH6ROg6fjZ-zbLHwtiBcMdazCWcE3r0PSIip5aWiQJSuEuKSHSCWNYe-hsyLYO8aJEwLrq53GLzwyZJ9nDbsZ61wga_bCRrMkEOZTouPWG5Z1BCA50nQRsn9sHjwAV/w1600/IMG_8344.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2025/02/the-best-movies-in-2025.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2025-07-23 11:00:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67084", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Sensitive Are You To Rejection?", "title_slug": "how-sensitive-are-you-to-rejection", "title_hash": "86bd761b26d8e3929f991d4e8c0bd380", "summary": "Are you sensitive to rejection? Is your response \"normal\" or do you show traits of RSD? Understand the differences and how to cope with RSD.\nThe post How Sensitive Are You To Rejection? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Are you sensitive to rejection? Is your response \"normal\" or do you show traits of RSD? Understand the differences and how to cope with RSD.

The post How Sensitive Are You To Rejection? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Sensitive, Are, You, Rejection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "135", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/sensitive-rejection-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-09 08:18:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67083", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Mindfulness Tips for Hard Conversations", "title_slug": "mindfulness-tips-for-hard-conversations", "title_hash": "6e16da7f289ace31a4437e7764ceebcd", "summary": "You can do more than \"agree to disagree.\" Learn how to communicate with shared humanity and boundaries in mind.\nThe post Mindfulness Tips for Hard Conversations appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

You can do more than \"agree to disagree.\" Learn how to communicate with shared humanity and boundaries in mind.

The post Mindfulness Tips for Hard Conversations appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Mindfulness, Tips, for, Hard, Conversations", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/mindfulness-tips-for-hard-conversations/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-09 08:18:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "67082", "lang_id": "1", "title": "7 Outdated Relationship Myths", "title_slug": "7-outdated-relationship-myths", "title_hash": "66e35c0cbcafcd99e20d6d1b1d22bea9", "summary": "Here are some common relationship myths broken down. Learn why they are not accurate and develop the skills to deepen your connection.\nThe post 7 Outdated Relationship Myths appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Here are some common relationship myths broken down. Learn why they are not accurate and develop the skills to deepen your connection.

The post 7 Outdated Relationship Myths appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Outdated, Relationship, Myths", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/outdated-relationship-myths/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-09 08:18:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66909", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Using Humor with Women in a Romantic Relationship", "title_slug": "using-humor-with-women-in-a-romantic-relationship", "title_hash": "ba2e907c8b84f440fe6e5068ffa7ac65", "summary": "Humor plays a key role in healthy romantic relationships. Not everyone uses it well, though; some barely use it at all. Here’s how to use it to buoy up & solidify your relationships.\nWe’re a few days away from the launch of my novel tease-the-girl method, Lush Teases™ (you can find the latest Lush Teases™ video here). In keeping with this week’s theme (‘tease weak’), I’ll be discussing the use of humor with women – in your romantic relationships.\nWhile much of what I’ve been marketing Lush Teases™ for is the dating/seduction aspect of humor, the fact is humor plays an outsize role in your ongoing romantic relationships, too.\nIn the Lush Teases™ sales presentation (which will be live in a few more days), I quote a number of studies on the effects of humor. Some of these are on humor’s impact on your relationships – and the effects are LARGE:\n\n\n92% of couples say humor makes “significant contributions” to their romances (source)\n\n\n\n\n75% of couples laugh together once per day\n\n\n\n\nPartners", "content": "

$\"using$ Humor plays a key role in healthy romantic relationships. Not everyone uses it well, though; some barely use it at all. Here’s how to use it to buoy up & solidify your relationships.

We’re a few days away from the launch of my novel tease-the-girl method, Lush Teases™ (you can find the latest Lush Teases™ video here). In keeping with this week’s theme (‘tease weak’), I’ll be discussing the use of humor with women – in your romantic relationships.

While much of what I’ve been marketing Lush Teases™ for is the dating/seduction aspect of humor, the fact is humor plays an outsize role in your ongoing romantic relationships, too.

In the Lush Teases™ sales presentation (which will be live in a few more days), I quote a number of studies on the effects of humor. Some of these are on humor’s impact on your relationships – and the effects are LARGE:

\n
92% of couples say humor makes “significant contributions” to their romances (source)
\n

\n
75% of couples laugh together once per day
\n

\n
Partners’ humor use is strongly tied to relationship quality & satisfaction
\n

\n
Constructive humor in particular dramatically raises long-term relationship satisfaction (source)
\n

\n
Women rate their partners’ sense of humor as one of the four most IMPORTANT factors to them staying in the relationship (source)
\n

Humor is important enough for relationship health that women strongly look for it when selecting long-term partners. It plays such a role in relationship success that men’s poor use of humor in their relationships is actually predictive of divorce.

In other words, humor is vital – if you want a good relationship that is.

In this article, we’ll look at HOW you should be using humor in your relationships, and in WHAT ways you can use it.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Using, Humor, with, Women, Romantic, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/10/humor-women-romantic-relaitonship-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/using-humor-women-romantic-relationship", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:14:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66908", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Giving Girls \"Room to Escape\" When Positioning Yourself in a Seduction", "title_slug": "giving-girls-room-to-escape-when-positioning-yourself-in-a-seduction", "title_hash": "650f0c844568385ffe825e1aee5a14e8", "summary": "Where and how you position yourself relative to a woman can make or break your seduction. Many guys try to “block women in” & cut off their exits. YOU want to do the OPPOSITE.\nLast week, I discussed the importance of giving a girl the opportunity to opt out at any time, giving her a way to exit so she feels she may leave at any time.\nThe idea is not to motivate her to leave—quite the contrary. You want to make her feel secure. If she feels she has an easy way out, without consequences, you won’t get angry or create bad vibes; she will feel much more comfortable sticking with you.\nIn practice, she should always have an opportunity to exit, whether that’s your place, the conversation, or the venue, but she is likely to do so with good feelings about you when you make her feel more comfortable.\nIf you’d like empirical facts about how this works, consider any Girls Chase product you may have bought or similar products. You may be initially skeptical, especially if unfamiliar with the provi", "content": "

$\"positioning$ Where and how you position yourself relative to a woman can make or break your seduction. Many guys try to “block women in” & cut off their exits. YOU want to do the OPPOSITE.

Last week, I discussed the importance of giving a girl the opportunity to opt out at any time, giving her a way to exit so she feels she may leave at any time.

The idea is not to motivate her to leave—quite the contrary. You want to make her feel secure. If she feels she has an easy way out, without consequences, you won’t get angry or create bad vibes; she will feel much more comfortable sticking with you.

In practice, she should always have an opportunity to exit, whether that’s your place, the conversation, or the venue, but she is likely to do so with good feelings about you when you make her feel more comfortable.

If you’d like empirical facts about how this works, consider any Girls Chase product you may have bought or similar products. You may be initially skeptical, especially if unfamiliar with the provider. They typically offer an option to unsubscribe anytime or a money-back guarantee. And those who provide this are confident with their product, meaning they know you will like it and won’t “leave” or “unsubscribe.” They gain the benefit of trust.

You may notice that those who offer no money back or ask you to commit usually do so because they are afraid to lose you. Often, it is because the product is substandard, and the only way to keep you is to lock you in. Yes, you will get mad when you dislike the service or product, but on their end, they at least got to cash in X amount, which is a success for them, considering you wouldn’t have stuck around anyway.

Good products offer a way out or a money-back guarantee. That’s not to say all products or services that do this are good, but all good products usually provide this.

So, if it’s a good product (an attractive guy; if you are not, become one), it allows you to use the same technique to establish trust.

Today, I’ll give practical tips you can use in your interactions to build more comfort. I’ll discuss other benefits of using this concept, too.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Giving, Girls, Room, Escape, When, Positioning, Yourself, Seduction", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/11/pickup-mid-game-positioning-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/giving-girls-room-escape-when-positioning-yourself-seduction", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:14:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66907", "lang_id": "1", "title": "[LIVE] Lush Teases Out NOW; Learn My Unmatched LUSH Method", "title_slug": "live-lush-teases-out-now-learn-my-unmatched-lush-method", "title_hash": "5e987b8c24561649529e7e1b74bbeda0", "summary": "Lush Teases™ is available to own for the next four days. See how to create humor that attracts the fairer sex & seduces them ALL the way to the bedroom.\nThe day has arrived, and Lush Teases™ is ON SHELVES NOW (digitally speaking).\nThere’s never been a step-by-step formula to follow for creating seductive humor with women like this before.\nGuys have put out pickup line books. They’ve shared flirtations. But no one has ever given men a METHOD they can use in real time with girls to seduce the fairer sex with resistless wit.\nLush Teases™ does that. And what’s more, it gives you a deep, natural-tier understanding of how humor that works with women works – and why goofy clownish humor doesn’t (nor being “the super serious guy” either).\n⇒ WATCH MY PRESENTATION ON LUSH TEASES™ HERE⇐\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"lush$ Lush Teases™ is available to own for the next four days. See how to create humor that attracts the fairer sex & seduces them ALL the way to the bedroom.

The day has arrived, and Lush Teases™ is ON SHELVES NOW (digitally speaking).

There’s never been a step-by-step formula to follow for creating seductive humor with women like this before.

Guys have put out pickup line books. They’ve shared flirtations. But no one has ever given men a METHOD they can use in real time with girls to seduce the fairer sex with resistless wit.

Lush Teases™ does that. And what’s more, it gives you a deep, natural-tier understanding of how humor that works with women works – and why goofy clownish humor doesn’t (nor being “the super serious guy” either).

⇒ WATCH MY PRESENTATION ON LUSH TEASES™ HERE⇐

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "LIVE, Lush, Teases, Out, NOW, Learn, Unmatched, LUSH, Method", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/11/lush-teases-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/live-lush-teases-out-now-learn-my-unmatched-lush-method", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:14:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66906", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Expertly Calibrating Your Teases: Tease Tone & Length", "title_slug": "expertly-calibrating-your-teases-tease-tone-length", "title_hash": "c26e9e555a7bc37a1aa136d3b4b34448", "summary": "Once you’re good at using teases, it’s time for the next level: expert CALIBRATION of your teases to match the tone and length of what you’re reacting to.\nWe’re deep into the launch of Lush Teases™, my unique method for constructing seductive humor that moves girls resistlessly along to the bedroom.\nSales are going at a relatively brisk pace of one sale per hour since the start of the launch. More and more men are receiving access to this unmatched ability to tease – one that gives them a colossal unfair advantage of all the other men out there who don’t have access to the method.\nToday we’ll be talking about a more advanced tease topic: namely, how to calibrate the tone and duration of your teases to the recipient and situation.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"advanced$ Once you’re good at using teases, it’s time for the next level: expert CALIBRATION of your teases to match the tone and length of what you’re reacting to.

We’re deep into the launch of Lush Teases™, my unique method for constructing seductive humor that moves girls resistlessly along to the bedroom.

Sales are going at a relatively brisk pace of one sale per hour since the start of the launch. More and more men are receiving access to this unmatched ability to tease – one that gives them a colossal unfair advantage of all the other men out there who don’t have access to the method.

Today we’ll be talking about a more advanced tease topic: namely, how to calibrate the tone and duration of your teases to the recipient and situation.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Expertly, Calibrating, Your, Teases:, Tease, Tone, Length", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/11/calibrating-teases-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/expertly-calibrating-your-teases-tease-tone-length", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:14:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66905", "lang_id": "1", "title": "DOORS CLOSING for My Lush Teases Method", "title_slug": "doors-closing-for-my-lush-teases-method", "title_hash": "8aca1bf5c8e9732e3a6754f0c5ced4c9", "summary": "Doors close tonight on your chance to learn to tease women so well they become fans, open windows, and laugh their ways all the way to the bedroom.\nIt’s almost time to shut the doors.\nIf you haven’t grabbed Lush Teases™ yet, now is the time.\nYou can go direct to the order page to grab your copy now ASAP before the doors close.\nOr if you’ve been under a bit of a rock and haven’t seen the video yet(!), go here first to watch my presentation on Lush Teases™ (so you can get some idea of just how awesome & innovative this seductive humor method is).\nWe’re only keeping the doors open until midnight tonight.\nPast then, you won’t be able to get Lush Teases™ anymore.\nDon’t miss out (and be stuck fumbling your way through jokes with girls, or unable to break through resistance or out of awkward situations) –\nSnag your copy of this game-changing program before you won’t be able to!\nGO HERE NOW TO PICK UP YOUR COPY OF LUSH TEASES™\nChase\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"last$ Doors close tonight on your chance to learn to tease women so well they become fans, open windows, and laugh their ways all the way to the bedroom.

It’s almost time to shut the doors.

If you haven’t grabbed Lush Teases™ yet, now is the time.

You can go direct to the order page to grab your copy now ASAP before the doors close.

Or if you’ve been under a bit of a rock and haven’t seen the video yet(!), go here first to watch my presentation on Lush Teases™ (so you can get some idea of just how awesome & innovative this seductive humor method is).

We’re only keeping the doors open until midnight tonight.

Past then, you won’t be able to get Lush Teases™ anymore.

Don’t miss out (and be stuck fumbling your way through jokes with girls, or unable to break through resistance or out of awkward situations) –

Snag your copy of this game-changing program before you won’t be able to!

Chase

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "DOORS, CLOSING, for, Lush, Teases, Method", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/11/lush-teases-last-call-preview.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/doors-closing-my-lush-teases-method", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:14:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66904", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Reasons Why Some Couples Fight More Right Before Bed", "title_slug": "9-reasons-why-some-couples-fight-more-right-before-bed", "title_hash": "e911eccd5133df36a9fb359a144c3228", "summary": "Every couple knows that bedtime can be a tricky time. After a long day, when things finally quiet…", "content": "Every couple knows that bedtime can be a tricky time. After a long day, when things finally quiet…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Why, Some, Couples, Fight, More, Right, Before, Bed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "93", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/5555.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-reasons-why-some-couples-fight-more-right-before-bed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66902", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Jennifer Lopez’s Ex-Husband Partially Blames Diddy for their Divorce", "title_slug": "jennifer-lopezs-ex-husband-partially-blames-diddy-for-their-divorce", "title_hash": "1d4b9ea9dd9ecaef188683f146c24cb5", "summary": "Jennifer Lopez’s ex-husband, Ojani Noa, recently shared that he thinks Sean John Combs, popularly known as Diddy, played…", "content": "Jennifer Lopez’s ex-husband, Ojani Noa, recently shared that he thinks Sean John Combs, popularly known as Diddy, played…", "keywords": "Jennifer, Lopez’s, Ex-Husband, Partially, Blames, Diddy, for, their, Divorce", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/jennifer-lopezs-ex-husband-partially-blames-diddy-for-their-divorce/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66903", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Bride Says Her Cousin Wants to Reveal the Gender of Her Baby at Her Wedding", "title_slug": "bride-says-her-cousin-wants-to-reveal-the-gender-of-her-baby-at-her-wedding", "title_hash": "b320550f08a03837796b196e46089775", "summary": "A bride-to-be was really upset when her pregnant cousin asked to reveal the gender of her baby at…", "content": "A bride-to-be was really upset when her pregnant cousin asked to reveal the gender of her baby at…", "keywords": "Bride, Says, Her, Cousin, Wants, Reveal, the, Gender, Her, Baby, Her, Wedding", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "104", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/image-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/bride-says-her-cousin-wants-to-reveal-the-gender-of-her-baby-at-her-wedding/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66901", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Woman Gets Sweet Revenge on Her ‘Love Cheat’ Undocumented Boyfriend", "title_slug": "woman-gets-sweet-revenge-on-her-love-cheat-undocumented-boyfriend", "title_hash": "6f3707f0fe64609be83904e0fd755a5c", "summary": "A TikToker influencer recently went viral after sharing how she got her undocumented boyfriend deported to Mexico after…", "content": "A TikToker influencer recently went viral after sharing how she got her undocumented boyfriend deported to Mexico after…", "keywords": "Woman, Gets, Sweet, Revenge, Her, ‘Love, Cheat’, Undocumented, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/imag3.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/woman-gets-sweet-revenge-on-her-love-cheat-undocumented-boyfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66900", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Woman Married her 22-Year-Old Adopted Son After Raising him from Age of 14", "title_slug": "woman-married-her-22-year-old-adopted-son-after-raising-him-from-age-of-14", "title_hash": "49bb20cace34b25a35e787da1daebb25", "summary": "A Russian mother has married her adopted son, whom she raised since he was just a 14-year-old teenager.…", "content": "A Russian mother has married her adopted son, whom she raised since he was just a 14-year-old teenager.…", "keywords": "Woman, Married, her, 22-Year-Old, Adopted, Son, After, Raising, him, from, Age", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/photo.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/woman-wed-her-22-year-adopted-son-after-raising-him-from-age-of-14/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66899", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Often Do Guys Think About Sex?", "title_slug": "how-often-do-guys-think-about-sex", "title_hash": "e4571af7c35cf8055a542ede73845a81", "summary": "How Often Do Guys Think About Sex? We Found the Answer", "content": "How often do you guys really think about sex?\r\nIt’s a question that arouses the curiosity of people of all genders — guys may wonder whether they fall in line with what they think is ‘normal,’ and everyone else may wonder if guys are really as horny as they are made out to be.\r\nRELATED: How Often Do People Have Sex?\r\nOf course, what constitutes “thinking about sex,” exactly? Does a half-second fleeting mental glimmer of horniness on public transit count the same as someone who’s worrying about sexually transmitted infections for 10 minutes in a doctor’s waiting room? What about someone who engages in half an hour’s worth of masturbation fantasies before falling asleep?\r\nAs it turns out, however, scientists have attempted to study this issue. So, in order to better understand how often guys think about sex, and what that really means, AskMen spoke to a sex expert. Here’s what we learned:\r\n\r\nHow Often Do Guys Think About Sex?\r\n\r\nLet’s get one thing out of the way right away: that ‘statistic’ you’ve heard about the matter is likely not true.\r\n“There’s a commonly cited statistic that men think about sex every seven seconds,” says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy. \r\nThis is not accurate — in no small part, Weiss says, because if you do the math, that would “would amount to around 8,000 times a day.”\r\n“If you haven’t guessed, this is not based on research. It just wouldn’t be possible to get anything else done if that were actually happening.”\r\nYes, it’s true that lots of guys find themselves thinking about sex many times a day — and it’s an experience, obviously, that enough people find fascinating that people have attempted to study it. \r\n“Data is mixed in terms of how often men think about sex, as well as whether they think about sex more than women,” says Weiss. “One 2012 study found that on average, college men reported thinking about sex 18.6 times a day, vs. 9.9 times for women.”\r\n“But,” she notes, “women who were worried about their social desirability reported fewer thoughts. These numbers are influenced by what people are willing to admit, as well as whether they feel they have permission to be sexual beings in the first place.”\r\nMeaning, essentially, women, living in a sex-negative culture that expects them to be chaste, may be predisposed first to think of sex less often, and second to underreport when they do think about it. \r\nRELATED: What Is Slut-Shaming? (And Why You Need to Stop Doing It) \r\nFurthermore, with numerous studies showing that young people today are having less sex than their predecessors, it’s entirely plausible that men today think about sex less than they used to. \r\nRegardless of the data, a lot of things go into how often someone thinks about sex, Weiss notes. \r\n“Factors influencing how often a guy thinks about sex include the values and ideas around sex that he was raised with, whether he is dealing with stress in other areas of his life, how his love and sex life are going, how busy he is, and how often his partner is desiring sexual engagement from him,” she explains. “There is also a biological component: Factors like age, hormone levels, and genetics will affect someone’s sex drive.”\r\nRELATED: Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life \r\nThis confluence of factors means that a depressed and anxious teenager might think about sex less often than a confident and liberated guy in his 50s; even if they’re (at these stages in their lives) biologically predisposed to the inverse placement. \r\n\r\nDo Women Care How Often Guys Think About Sex?\r\n\r\nIt’s understandable that guys — in the process of thinking about sex — may wonder how often it’s ‘normal’ for them to do so. But why would, for instance, a woman care how often men think about sex? \r\nWeiss thinks the prevalence of myths that overstate how often men think about sex may stem from cultural ideas about men as unable to control their desires and dangerous to women. \r\nRELATED: Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing \r\n“There’s a stereotype that men are always trying to ‘get in your pants’ and women have to ‘watch out’ for them,” says Weiss. “This breeds distrust and sets up a predator-prey dynamic instead of fostering mutual connection. Spreading rumors about men constantly thinking about sex is a way to perpetuate this myth.”\r\n“It may also be a reaction to bad experiences with men; it’s a way to dismiss them as creeps,” she explains. “When women are trying to figure out how often men think about sex, what’s behind that is often the question: ‘Can I trust men?’”\r\nIn these cases, Weiss believes, what women really want to know is “whether men are capable of seeing them as human beings rather than objects.”\r\nRELATED: Here's What Guys Should Know About Sexism \r\n“The answer to this question obviously varies from man to man, but the stereotype that all men are constantly preying on women is false,” she notes. \r\nUltimately, Weiss says, the idea that men think about sex way more often than women may just be an attempt to focus on our differences rather than our similarities. \r\n“Men and women have similar sex drives, and these statistics often serve as a way to depict us as alien to each other,” Weiss says. “This is dangerous, as it sets up a dynamic where men have to ‘get sex’ from women.”\r\n“Rather than try to persuade anyone to have sex with us, we should understand they have sexual desires too, and consider their desires as well as our own,” she adds. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat Does Sex Feel Like? Busting Myths About the Risks of “Chronic” MasturbationHow Long Does Sex Last? ", "keywords": "How, Often, Guys, Think, About, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "93", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-often-do-guys-think-about-sex/askmen-lead-image-template-1730408685.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-often-do-guys-think-about-sex.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66898", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Habits for Beating Low Confidence and Self-Doubt", "title_slug": "best-habits-for-beating-low-confidence-and-self-doubt", "title_hash": "59add7df81a653a56b900e7917a0557b", "summary": "From succeeding at work to being satisfied with your dating life, you probably know that confidence matters. And when you’re battling feelings of self-doubt, that knowledge can make things even worse. But confidence is not something that you simply either possess or not. This means that if you’re struggling with low confidence, adopting new habits can help. \r\nHowever, it doesn’t mean that you should resolve mental health struggles by yourself.\r\n“I wish men knew they don’t have to take on all the responsibility or carry that constant burden of needing to be strong. It’s important to voice when you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious,” says Dolvett Quince, celebrity fitness trainer and coach on NBC’s The Biggest Loser, who has been promoting mental and physical health on his Work Out the Doubt podcast.\r\n“Holding in these feelings leads to self-doubt and low self-esteem,\" he continues. \"Men are conditioned to hold it all in – but it’s important to express when something is wro", "content": "From succeeding at work to being satisfied with your dating life, you probably know that confidence matters. And when you’re battling feelings of self-doubt, that knowledge can make things even worse. But confidence is not something that you simply either possess or not. This means that if you’re struggling with low confidence, adopting new habits can help. \r\nHowever, it doesn’t mean that you should resolve mental health struggles by yourself.\r\n“I wish men knew they don’t have to take on all the responsibility or carry that constant burden of needing to be strong. It’s important to voice when you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or anxious,” says Dolvett Quince, celebrity fitness trainer and coach on NBC’s The Biggest Loser, who has been promoting mental and physical health on his Work Out the Doubt podcast.\r\n“Holding in these feelings leads to self-doubt and low self-esteem,\" he continues. \"Men are conditioned to hold it all in – but it’s important to express when something is wrong. It’s also OK to say you don’t have the answer or you need help. There is a grace and a freedom to admitting that.” \r\nRELATED: Best Workouts for Mental Health\r\nBeyond the importance of getting support when needed, below are seven confidence-boosting habits that won’t cost a fortune or require that much time, courtesy of Quince. They’re simple, but effective if you stay consistent. \r\n“Practice makes perfect, the more you do something repeatedly, the more you become it,” he notes. “A great champion says now that I won, let me work harder to remain a champion. People tend to go for a goal, and when they reach that goal they drop the routine. You should keep at it for consistency.”\r\n\r\n7 Different Ways to Build More Confidence\r\n\r\n1. Embrace Gratitude \r\n“Practice waking up every morning with gratitude,\" says Quince. Look at what you have, not what you don’t have. This will bring empowerment to your day and enrich your life.\"\r\nThis, of course, is easier said than done. When you feel low, you can’t just magically force yourself to be grateful. Enter journaling, a great tool for eliciting feelings of gratitude that you actually feel in real-time. \r\nGrab a pen and start by writing down some of the smallest things you can truly get behind and feel grateful for. Perhaps you’re glad you have access to the internet, or maybe you’re enjoying your cup of coffee. Whatever the case, start your list there and let yourself sink into the feeling of gratitude as you build on it. You might be surprised by how many items you end up writing down, and by the time your paper's full, your complete mood shift. \r\n2. Move Daily \r\nMovement is key for building confidence. Not only will you benefit from post-workout endorphins, but you’ll also feel proud of yourself for exercising. \r\n“Get your bones moving and blood flowing,\" suggests Quince. \"Adding a movement piece to your daily routine is vital. This can be a walk, a Peloton ride, or even 10 minutes of stretching. Adding a level of activity to your life brings clarity.\"\r\n3. Laugh Often \r\nAgain, it’s sometimes hard to force laughter when you’re feeling low. But if you can muster a chuckle after a funny YouTube video, it’s a great starting point. As cheesy as it sounds, laughter is the best medicine and has a positive ripple effect on your self-esteem. Do it daily, and watch your confidence soar. \r\n“Laugh every day. There is always a place to find a laugh,\" he suggests. \"Don’t live in a state of disagreement. Find the humor in things. Drive yourself towards something that gives you positive energy.\"\r\n4. Listen to Music \r\nAccording to Quince, music can also be very healing and nurture self-connection. He says there is a “chemical, spiritual and mental connection” that happens when you listen to your favorite tunes at the end of a long day. \r\nYou can even create a feel-good playlist filled with songs that make you feel empowered and ready to take on the world. \r\n5. Get Outside \r\nQuince also says that getting sun on your face every day is one of the most underrated habits to combat low confidence and self-doubt. He recommends heading out first thing in the morning, noting that “getting a breath of air is natural energy and gives your system the jolt it needs.”\r\nThat jolt will optimize your physical and mental energy so you feel more confident as you take on the day. \r\n6. Stay Away from Negativity \r\nWhen embracing habits to increase your sense of self-worth, there are also things you want to actively stay away from. Sources of negativity such as endless debates about topics that don’t make you feel good or people who drain your energy by complaining all the time are one of them.\r\n“Misery loves company. Don’t fall in that dark hole of negative banter in the news or social media,” says Quince. \r\n7. Beware of Avoidance \r\nFinally, beware of avoidance tendencies. Some of the temporary fixes that help you cope with your lack of confidence are just aggravating the issue in the long run.\r\n“Habits that mask, like cigarettes, overindulging in alcohol or junk food are habits to avoid,\" states Quince. \"Putting this kind of toxic energy in your body and mind most certainly lends to self-doubt.” \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tBenefits of Mindfulness\r\n\tHow to Stress-Proof Your Brain\r\n\tBest Relaxation Techniques", "keywords": "Best, Habits, for, Beating, Low, Confidence, and, Self-Doubt", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "90", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/austin/tips-that-will-help-you-develop-self-confidence/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1730746751.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/austin/tips-that-will-help-you-develop-self-confidence.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66897", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Help Her Play With Herself", "title_slug": "help-her-play-with-herself", "title_hash": "0f76afab5d82651e81ede1e9bd9ab9c1", "summary": "Want to watch her masturbate? Here are some tips that might make her comfortable enough to do it.", "content": "All men (and, ahem, women) have a catalog of memories from past sexual encounters that can be utilized — and fantasized about — when the mood strikes. From your first intimate encounters as a young adult to when you really started to get the hang of it, and all of the moments in between, those racy thoughts aren’t just nice to indulge in, but they can make your masturbation habit go from just-fine to super-hot.\r\nOf those reveries, one of the sexiest that really gets you going is anytime your partner has touched herself in front of you. While your hands or mouth might not have been invited to play along, there’s something incredibly erotic and inspiring about watching a girl warming herself up with careful, intentional strokes and movements. It can help you identify the pressure points that you should be focusing on the next time you have a romp together and it opens up a whole other dimension to your sexual routine as a couple.\r\nIn addition to some very real health benefits — increased blood flow, happy endorphins and a radiant sex drive — masturbating can bring you closer, open up a plethora of new experiences to try together and get you out of a boring rut. While too much of a good thing might be a bad thing, when both you and your female partner play with yourselves on a semi-regular basis, you might be mighty surprised with just how much of difference it can make in your sex lives.\r\nRELATED: Best Sex Toys for Couples\r\nBut if your current lady isn’t as keen to masturbate, it could be tough for you to build up the courage to ask her to touch herself in front of you, or even start that conversation. But many sexual experts agree: two willing parties who invest in both their pleasure and their partner’s make for a healthier, happier sex life and relationship. Thankfully for you, we’ve rounded up the best advice on how to get your girl to go to town… all by herself.\r\n\r\nWhy Playing With Herself Is Great for Her (and For You)\r\n\r\nWhile most women usually learn best through oral communication, the majority of men learn better through visualization and practice. Even outside of the classroom, these same mechanics apply, meaning that when you are trying to up your sexual game and improve those skills, watching is often more helpful to you than hearing about it.\r\nWhen your leading lady is playing with herself and you are merely watching — instead of participating — you are getting great insight into her pleasure zones. With every movement, moan, grip on the sheets and deep stare into your eyes, you get a stronger understanding of what brings her to the point of ecstasy.\r\nIn addition to the visualizations that you will definitely masturbate to later, you might even get turned on by how confident your woman comes across while doing this. As sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Nikki Goldstein explains, “Female masturbation allows a woman to understand her body and her sexual functioning.” And what’s hotter — for her and for you: Goldstein notes that playing with herself gives her control over her sexual pleasure, instead of the ball always being in your court; she gets to take responsibility for her own orgasm. As sex expert Coleen Singer says, “Masturbation can make you more sexually comfortable and confident.”\r\nIn addition to building confidence, when your girl plays with herself, she is also opening up the doors to kinky experiments down the road. For example, if she is using a toy on herself and discovers a new erotic zone she never knew existed, she might ask you to try and find it with your fingers the next time you are fingering her. Or if she gets a little adventurous and tries some anal touching, only to discover she doesn’t hate it, she could be more into anal play in the future. “Experimenting with what feels good and makes you respond positively can lead to better sexual experiences, both alone and with your partner,” Singer says.\r\nPossibly one of the biggest bonuses when your lady plays with herself is the increased blood flow it sends to her most private areas, which in turn, can motivate her sex drive and yearnings, while also producing those feel-good endorphins that keep her mood energized and lighthearted. In fact, after a never-ending day at the office that was filled to the brim with meetings, taking a workout class, walking your pup and cooking something for dinner, masturbation might be just what your girlfriend needs to let go of her stress. “Masturbating increases blood flow throughout your body and releases feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins,” Singer says. “While men are more likely to talk about blowing off steam by masturbating, research suggests it is a stress-reliever for both sexes.”\r\nRELATED: How to Make a Sex Tape\r\nNow that you know how beneficial female masturbation truly is, how do you pass on the wisdom to your girlfriend? These tips will get the conversation — and hopefully the playtime — started:\r\n\r\nAdopt The “Two Hands Are Better Than One” Policy\r\n\r\nWomen aren’t typically encouraged to play with their bodies, especially since young girls are developing at younger and younger ages. While your dad might have explained how to get rid of that morning wood, it is probably safe to say that your girlfriend’s mom didn’t give the same lesson when she felt wet for the first time. One way to help your partner feel more comfortable touching herself is to make it a shared, welcoming and no-pressure type of situation. “Start by placing your hand on top of her hand, and slowly move it down her body. Then simply ask her to touch herself and tell her you love to watch,” Singer advises. “Maybe even say something along the lines of ‘show me what you like, I want to pleasure you.’” By having your hand nearby, and possibly even jumping in if she needs more motivation, you are showing her that you will be patient and work hard to make sure she gets there, just with a little added direction from herself.\r\n\r\nPlay With Yourself in Front ff Her\r\n\r\nIf your girlfriend has ever complained that you watch too much porn or she feels turned off by your daily masturbation habit, a good solution is to involve her in the practice. Instead of watching strangers get it on on your computer or the big screen, why not actually have real sex with someone you love, while both fulfilling your fantasies and reaching a higher state of orgasm? Sounds like a win-win to us.\r\nAnother added benefit of touching yourself in front of your partner is that it builds intimacy and trust. You are being brave and bold enough to have your girlfriend watch you do an intimate act, while encouraging her to do the same intimate act with herself. It will likely be a rather erotic experience for both of you the first time you try it, but we bet it’ll lead to some pretty incredible sex.\r\n\r\nGo on a Shopping Trip\r\n\r\nChances are your girlfriend loves to spend some time shopping, right? Even if you typically hate joining her, take it from the shoe store to the sex store to make it more fun for both of you. Not only is it a thought-provoking experience to look at the various books, movies, toys, lubes and clothes, but you can find something that works for your personal, unique sex life together. Singer advises against buying your partner a sex toy or a vibrator without her approval because these devices “are very personal, and unless you know exactly she likes, it is a really bad idea to buy her one; it could possibly send the wrong message.” By going together, you can laugh at some of the outrageous things, while having her try on lingerie and picking out lubes and toys you both can get the most fun out of.\r\nAs for toys that might work? Singer shares some insights: “One particularly fun one that is available is the OhMiBod line of high tech vibrators that can be used solo or connected to a smartphone app to allow your partner to control the device over bluetooth,” she says. “Fun stuff! Combining a vibrator applied to your clit as you are fingering yourself is a wonderful blend of interactive elements sure to bring you to awe-inspiring orgasms.”\r\n\r\nWatch Porn Together\r\n\r\nYou might be into blondes who give blowjobs or a threesome type-of-deal but your girlfriend probably wants something different out of an erotic film. If you want her to play with herself, you can suggest having a variation on your typical “takeout and watch Netflix”-type of night in: drink more wine and watch a porno instead. Just keep in mind that you might have to do a little digging to find something that will tickle both of your fantasies and being patient is key, especially since it might take your girlfriend longer to work up the nerve and to get very much in the mood.\r\n“More and more women are now enjoying watching adult movies in many styles and genres, and watching them together as a couple is a great way to introduce mutual masturbation. This does take a bit of communication to find the ‘right porn,’ but a quick Google search of ‘porn for women’ will quickly give you a good variety of options to consider,” Singer says.\r\nRELATED: How to Watch Porn Safely\r\nWhen you do find something you like, make sure the quality is better — not only because it will be less disruptive to the action but it is for a great cause. As Singer notes:”Please be kind and buy it either as a VoD, DVD or website membership stream. Avoid the tubes as the quality is generally pretty bad, plus much of the content on those kind of sites is pirated, which harms the adult studios and performers. Bonus: buying something makes it feel a bit more special!”\r\nAnother idea? Some women like to read more than they enjoy watching pornos. Adult erotica might actually be another solution that could boost her sex drive and make her turned on enough to play with herself, especially if she is by herself and you are not around to pleasure her. You can buy her some best-rated books or ask her if she’d ever be into a romance novel with an X-rated plot. “With pretty much all of us now owning an iPad or tablet device, it has never been easier to view this kind of content privately in the form of streaming movies or erotic eBooks,” Singer adds.\r\n\r\nEncourage Her to Spend Time Masturbating Alone (and Then Tell You About It)\r\n\r\nWhile getting involved in playtime together is always a hot experience, it is also important for your lady to feel liberated and free enough to try the practice on her own. She might not feel the same pressure that she might feel when you are around her and it also might make it easier for her to reach orgasm as she truly takes her time without worrying about your pleasure, too. Singer says the best time to do this is when the house is empty and she is truly alone. Even if you are watching the game in the next room, it could distract her from whatever toys, films or thoughts she needs to focus on to get into the mood for solo play.\r\n“Many women are reluctant to masturbate as they fear being walked in on by their spouse or children. The fear of being too loud or being caught will stop most women from giving into their little ‘guilty pleasures’ and make having an orgasm more difficult due to that mental distraction,” Singer explains. “Encourage your partner to find a time when she knows she will be completely alone in the house, no matter what, and have her enjoy herself.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nCan a Threesome Ruin Your Relationship?How Often Do Guys Think About Sex?How to Make Your Sexual Fantasy Into a Reality", "keywords": "Help, Her, Play, With, Herself", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/362_love_tip/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1730819367.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/362_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-11-06 19:11:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66410", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Project 2025 Is Worse Than You Think", "title_slug": "project-2025-is-worse-than-you-think", "title_hash": "568365dc38c70dfe362d3937ca49b5e7", "summary": " The Heritage Foundation's Project 2025 policy recommendations would dramatically hinder reproductive justice efforts. \nThe post Project 2025 Is Worse Than You Think appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Project 2025, the 2024 election’s big bad wolf, is coming for reproductive justice. The Heritage Foundation’s policy prescription for a second Donald Trump administration would turn the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act (EMTALA) on its head and explicitly allow anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination.

This week, Jess and Imani dive into the Project 2025 policy positions that pose the biggest threat to reproductive health care. From disavowing abortion to its “life agenda,” the parade of horribles would, if implemented, entrench the country further into Christofascism.

Mentioned in this episode:

National Women’s Law Center Project 2025 report

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that episodes like this one are only made possible with the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post Project 2025 Is Worse Than You Think appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Project, 2025, Worse, Than, You, Think", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/BL-Card-S09-Ep03-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/10/10/project-2025-is-worse-than-you-think/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-10-19 13:27:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66408", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Young People Aren’t Getting the Reproductive Health-Care Information They Need", "title_slug": "young-people-arent-getting-the-reproductive-health-care-information-they-need", "title_hash": "c390129844fce5d6329b9605aef7b0bb", "summary": "A new Power to Decide survey found only a fraction of 15 to 29-year-olds receive information about contraception and abortion from health-care providers.\nThe post Young People Aren’t Getting the Reproductive Health-Care Information They Need appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Young people’s access to reproductive health care has always served as a canary-in-the-coal mine for general access to reproductive health care. This has become even more true since the Supreme Court up-ended federal abortion protections more than two years ago. Whenever conservatives want to try out a new form of reproductive health-care restrictions, they often start by targeting minors, including restricting access to information about reproductive health-care options like contraception and abortion.

On Tuesday, advocates from Power to Decide released the results of their first-ever Youth Reproductive Health Access Survey (YouR Health Survey), surveying 15 to 29-year-olds assigned female at birth. This national survey measures young people’s knowledge, attitudes, and experiences related to sexual and reproductive health information and services, with an emphasis on contraception and abortion. The survey illustrates what advocates have said for years: Scientific and evidence-based information about reproductive and sexual health care is the critical foundation for reproductive autonomy.

That’s why conservative lawmakers have it in their sights.

According to the survey results, approximately 80 percent of young people wanted information on contraception and abortion from providers—but they only received it 33 percent and 3 percent of the time, respectively. About 25 percent of young people said they did not have the information they needed to decide whether using birth control is right for them, and about 30 percent did not have enough information to decide which method would be best for them. And, in the past year, only 20.3 percent of respondents received any information about abortion.

“As the YouR HeAlth Survey demonstrates and what we know to be true, health-care providers play a critical role in addressing knowledge and self-efficacy gaps for our young people when it comes to sexual and reproductive health information and care,” Dr. Raegan McDonald-Mosley, Power to Decide CEO and OB-GYN, said in a statement. “Providers have the responsibility and opportunity to empower young people and give them the information they need to make informed decisions and prioritize their reproductive well-being.”

Quite simply, there’s an information desert forming around reproductive and sexual health options for young people, and while providers have the ability to fill some of the gaps, they simply cannot do it alone. Prioritizing our information architecture and this knowledge gap in the post-Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization world is critically important in building a better and more equitable health-care system.

The post Young People Aren’t Getting the Reproductive Health-Care Information They Need appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Young, People, Aren’t, Getting, the, Reproductive, Health-Care, Information, They, Need", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Fallout-Young-Peoples-Access-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/10/16/young-people-arent-getting-the-reproductive-health-care-information-they-need/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-10-19 13:27:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66409", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Olivia Julianna Is Optimistic About Texas", "title_slug": "olivia-julianna-is-optimistic-about-texas", "title_hash": "a13ab7173daafd6713e721e9840afd29", "summary": "The 21-year-old activist talks Gen Z political engagement, meeting people where they are, and why she thinks Texas will flip blue by 2030.\nThe post Olivia Julianna Is Optimistic About Texas appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

I have never met an apathetic nonvoter.

In fact, often the opposite is true: When I talk to someone who doesn’t vote about why they don’t vote, I’m often regaled with just how much they care but they don’t see themselves reflected in our politics—so they don’t believe the political system is capable of working for them.

This paradox is particularly pronounced with young voters. Despite Gen Z being more politically active than millennials were at their age, and despite the fact that they turned out in record numbers in the 2022 midterm, many of the nearly 41 million Gen Z voters—including more than 8 million who will be newly eligible to vote—are still not expected to vote in November.

But if they show up, young voters can have a potentially decisive voice in elections across the country. And that is why Olivia Julianna, the 21-year-old political powerhouse, is working in Texas and beyond to not just turn out the youth vote, but to make sure that young voters’ priorities, from climate change to reproductive rights, are part of every electoral conversation. Because if leaders speak to those issues, it will be easier to grow the number of politically engaged young people.

Despite 2024 being the first presidential race she is eligible to vote in, Julianna has already become an influential political strategist and activist in Texas and around the country. She has been organizing since high school and had her formative political experiences shaped by tragedies like the Parkland school shooting, George Floyd’s murder, and the subsequent Black Lives Matter protests. However, many people were first introduced to her when Republican congressman Matt Gaetz attempted to embarrass her by publicly body-shaming her in a despicable tirade where he noted that unattractive and overweight women didn’t need to worry about getting abortions because “nobody wants to impregnate” them.

In response, Julianna used the moment to raise more than $700,000 for abortion funds.

She took a moment of internet harassment and hate, some of the worst features of our current politics, and used it to organize and bring together a grassroots movement—one of the best and most powerful features of our current politics. It was a perfect national introduction to Julianna because it perfectly encapsulates the way she has done and continues to do this work.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Maya Rupert: You’ve had such an impressive and consequential political career already. It’s easy to forget this will be your first presidential election cycle as a voter. Can you talk about your catalyst for getting into politics?

Olivia Julianna: Yeah, I’ve talked before about growing up in a very politically conversational household. My dad is a lifelong Republican, and it was very important that we were informed about politics. Fox and Friends was on every morning, we watched ABC News every night, and on the way to school it was talk radio. Politics was always very present in my life. I remember watching the debates in 2008, and I was in kindergarten during that election.

But it wasn’t really until I got into high school that I started getting more and more engaged, because that was when the Parkland shooting happened. And I remember doing the school shooting drill that year, which we had done since I was in fourth grade. But during this one in particular, I was actually afraid because the administrators were doing more to simulate a threat. So they were going through jiggling doorknobs, and banging on the door, and yelling “open the doors!” And these issues started feeling more urgent to me.

I signed up for debate club in high school, and I remember starting to have really strong political opinions. And while at that time I trended more conservative, I just started listening to [Donald] Trump and seriously disagreeing with him. Then my junior year was when the COVID lockdown started, and I remember being at home—we had moved back to my dad’s hometown in the middle-of-nowhere Texas—when George Floyd was killed. And I just couldn’t understand how people around me weren’t outraged by it because it was so clearly wrong. And the moment that really cemented it for me was when Trump gassed the protesters in D.C.

I’ve always been very religious, and I’m still very religious to this day. At this point, I was leading Bible studies, I was on the youth board of a ministry, and I was an officer in my school’s chapter of Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I was so disgusted because of my faith. And so I wanted to do something.

MR: Wow, so that was what prompted you to get involved more publicly?

OJ: Yeah, and I went to my dad and said, “This is so wrong. I want to go to Houston. I want to march.” And my dad told me, “If you go march, don’t come home.” I knew I had to do something, so I started posting on TikTok about how and why young people should get involved in this election that I wasn’t even old enough to vote in. I was a week too young to vote in the 2020 election, but I still got involved, and it all just took off from there.

MR: That had to be so scary at your age to get that reaction from your father and still decide you wanted to get involved. Has your relationship with your dad changed as your work has progressed?

OJ: Yes, a lot. In the beginning, he wasn’t supportive, but he also didn’t tell me to stop my online advocacy, and I didn’t get punished. He certainly didn’t agree with me for a very long time. But now he’s very supportive. He has pictures of me and Joe Biden in his office at work. And he’s been very vocal about how he’s voting for Colin Allred here in Texas. He’s knocked doors for him. While he hasn’t committed to voting for [Kamala] Harris yet, he has said he will not vote for Trump, which is huge.

It’s been a transition process, because he’s a lifelong conservative. I had my first really big political moment in 2021. I had graduated, and I was still living at home. There was an abortion tip line here in Texas, and I was involved in taking it down, so I was invited to speak at the state Capitol. But I didn’t have a way to get there, because I don’t have my license, so I asked my dad to take me, and he said, “I’m pro-life. I don’t agree with abortion. If you want to go, you need to find your own way there.” Thankfully my childhood best friend drove me. But to show how far my dad has come, he tells me now that one of his biggest regrets as a father is not taking me to that event, because even though he didn’t necessarily agree at the time, he feels like he should have been there to support me as his daughter.

I feel very fortunate for how his ideology has changed because he is very supportive. My sisters are, largely, very supportive, and I feel lucky to have that.

MR: I love this story because I think it’s such a powerful message about the ways we need to organize. We have the most success organizing in our own families and communities because these are people we trust, who we share values with, and so we can reach them in a much more meaningful way. What has that process with your family taught you about how progressives can engage in deep organizing work?

OJ: I definitely treat my family as an informal poll a lot of times, because they have all different ideologies. And what I have found that has been the most effective is pointing out issues they have in their life that are the result of policy failure. For example, one of my sisters counts education as her number one issue. Well, her son is autistic and has special education needs, and she recently moved back to Texas from a different state that had a much better education program than we have here. She’s realizing why it’s so difficult for her to get the necessary accommodations for my nephew is because of how Republicans in the state of Texas have treated public education. So having practical conversations about the reasons why programs aren’t working for most people is really effective.

And it’s taught me a lot, too, about polarization. When I was younger and I started doing this, I was very rigid. My position was basically, “If you’re not a Democrat, or if you’re not the same type of Democrat as me, I don’t like you, and I think that you’re wrong and I think you’re stupid.” Now, as I’ve gotten older, I’m so much more open to having conversations with anyone and everyone. I love talking to conservatives, and I think it’s because I have so much experience now. Having had all these conversations with my family, I feel comfortable doing it, but I also feel like it’s necessary. And some people have to be willing to do it. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s mine, and it’s really taught me that at the end of the day, most people are good. Most people care. Their anger oftentimes is just misplaced, and so we just have to find a way to put that anger and that energy into a place where it can be productive.

But we just have to be willing to have the conversations and educate people so that we can actually affect change, because siloing off different people based on party or region or whatever is just not going to work. So I think I’m very fortunate to have learned that so early with my family. I feel like I’ll be able to be more effective because of that.

“We have to remember that the government is much bigger than we think it is sometimes, and a lot can happen that can make big changes if you look at state and local elections.”

– Olivia Julianna

MR: There’s another issue that I think we as a movement struggle with—and it’s related to this question of how do we meet people where they are and not feel like we’re compromising our values. We have a moment right now where we are seeing young generations of voters who are informed and enthusiastic about engaging in the political process, but also have high expectations for how they can affect change. And this creates a challenge.

How do you think we can balance needing to build up patience for incremental change while not lecturing young voters or squelching their excitement or their expectation that they can make real change?

OJ: First, in order to effectively solve this problem, we also have to look at what is causing it. Gen Z Is very politically engaged, very civically engaged for our age. But there is 100 percent a problem with young people wanting instant gratification when it comes to politics. And I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that that has happened, as we have grown up in a time of rapidly developing technology. Our brain chemistry, because of social media, has been rewired to want instant gratification. We get immediate feedback from social media, overnight delivery from Amazon. We have just become accustomed to very quick processing and that has seeped into every other facet of our life. The only place where we really don’t see this rapid pace change is in our government.

So for the young people who are feeling like, after voting in one or two election cycles, they want to see more change, first I think we have to remember that in the last ten years, we’ve seen a dramatic change in policy and politics. If you feel like nothing ever changes, go back ten years ago and see how many elected Democrats were pro-life, or didn’t support marriage equality, or were endorsed by the NRA. We have seen change because of the involvement of young voters.

The second thing is we have to remember that while the federal government moves at a glacial pace, the local and regional levels are where you see a lot of quicker change. We have to remember that the government is much bigger than we think it is sometimes, and a lot can happen that can make big changes if you look at state and local elections. But that isn’t just an issue for young voters. Getting people to focus more on those local solutions is a societal problem. I don’t think it’s just a generational problem.

MR: That is such a good point, so let’s talk about what’s happening in the states. You’re a Texan, and you are a proud Texan. You organize around progressive issues in a state where people outside of the state usually only hear about it in the context of extremist abortion laws, or denying trans people health care, or passing laws attacking public education. Does that vision of Texas line up with what you see when you’re doing work in the state?

OJ: Ann Richards had this quote: I didn’t realize how big Texas was until I started campaigning across it. And in the last three months I have been all over the state. I’ve been in El Paso. I’ve been in Waco. I’ve been in San Antonio, Austin, Dallas, Houston. And when I talk to people, regardless of politics, people are a lot more open on a lot of issues. And historically, Texas has always been a place of progress. The first Black woman from the South elected to Congress was Barbara Jordan from Texas. The state that had some of the most effective organizing work around minimum wage laws and anti-discrimination laws was Texas. Texas was the state that brought us Roe v. Wade. Texas! It was two young Texas women who graduated from the University of Texas who argued that case in front of an all-male Supreme Court. The president that signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 into law was from Texas. We have had all these major progressive victories happen in this country [that have] come out of this state that people have forgotten about because of people like Greg Abbott, and Ted Cruz, and Ken Paxton.

The fact of the matter is Texas is not a deeply conservative state. Texas is a non-voting state. We have millions and millions of eligible voters here who do not vote. And so often, people say they don’t vote because they don’t believe politics impacts them, so we have to talk to potential voters more about how their everyday lives are being impacted by what our leaders are doing. And unfortunately, we have horrible elected officials who have created a deep sense of apathy in Texans. A deep sense of miseducation in Texans. And they did it so that they can maintain power and control.

And it’s starting to change. We are going to flip the state of Texas. It’s not a question of if, it’s a question of when. I personally think in 2030, we will flip our entire statewide electoral slate, and I think by 2030 we’ll elect a Democratic governor in the state of Texas. And this is why it’s the key focal part of my work. We need people to understand that Texas is worth fighting for and changing the narrative around Texas, and not just because of the quality of life for people here in this state, but also the electoral premise that if we flip Texas, that’s game over. If we flip the state of Texas, we can pass some of the most monumental legislation in American history.

MR: It’s interesting because you started your political journey before you could vote, and you talk about our path to transforming our politics through engaging nonvoters. So often we think about our political identities as a feature of being voters, and I think it’s a very important reminder that that’s not always true.

OJ: Oh, yeah, 100 percent. People think voting is the only course of action when it comes to affecting change, and it’s just not. And when there has been as much miseducation as there has been in Texas, a huge first step is getting people to understand that what the government does every single day impacts them.

MR: I think a lot of times the progressive movement is challenged because we have a very diverse coalition of people fighting for shared outcomes but with very different methods. We have activists, politicians, policymakers, and academics all in the same movement, and we have to navigate some competing needs. I’m so encouraged by your work because you hold a lot of those same perspectives and use them all in your advocacy. How do you decide in a particular moment if you are going to approach an issue as an activist, as a policy person, or as a political person?

OJ: The most important thing I ask is who am I talking to? Knowing my audience is always the most important piece. If I’m speaking at the Texas Capitol, my approach is going to be very different than if I’m sitting in a congressional office having a meeting with a member. But I actually think that it’s really simple. I think politics is much simpler than people make it out to be. And I think activism is much simpler than people make it out to be. Barbara Jordan said, “What people want is simple. They want an America as good as its promise.” And that’s true for all of us, which means whoever your audience is, that’s what we’re all looking for.

The post Olivia Julianna Is Optimistic About Texas appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This week, we’re talking about EMTALA—yes, again. The Ninth Circuit will hear arguments over Idaho not wanting to abide by the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act in December, and the case is sure to make it back to the Supreme Court.

This time, though, conservatives have a new weapon: the Spending Clause. Much to Jess’ chagrin, she and Imani get into how Amy Coney Barrett pulled an Alito-esque move to tee anti-choicers up to use the Spending Clause to upend EMTALA for good.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post Meet Amy Coney Barrett’s Case Against Emergency Abortion Care appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Meet, Amy, Coney, Barrett’s, Case, Against, Emergency, Abortion, Care", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/BL-Card-S09-Ep04-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/10/17/meet-amy-coney-barretts-case-against-emergency-abortion-care/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-10-19 13:27:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "66406", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Hurricane Helene Exacerbated Barriers to North Carolina Abortion Access", "title_slug": "hurricane-helene-exacerbated-barriers-to-north-carolina-abortion-access", "title_hash": "acf3175f634c4a0e6d587683c5918a4a", "summary": "Opinion: North Carolinian Latines are being further harmed by abortion bans after Hurricane Helene forced several clinics to shut down.\nThe post Hurricane Helene Exacerbated Barriers to North Carolina Abortion Access appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The past month has been absolutely devastating for abortion access in North Carolina. Asheville’s Planned Parenthood, one of the only clinics in the western part of the state, was forced to close as a result of Hurricane Helene, and thousands of people are still without electricity, running water, and usable roads that could connect them to pharmacies or doctors’ offices. Nearby, Georgia’s temporary block of the state’s six-week abortion ban—and then its reinstatement just a week later—added to the confusion and desperation for care seekers across the South, as folks who would typically travel to North Carolina for abortion care were left without answers and without options.

The destruction of Hurricane Helene, coupled with Georgia’s shifting policies, has exacerbated barriers that have existed since the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022. Since then, my own community is one of the few that has been hit hardest. With more than 1.1 million people, Latines make up the fastest growing population in North Carolina, many of whom are descendants of immigrants who struggle to comprehend the harsh reality that people seeking reproductive care in this country are now facing. My parents fled El Salvador’s civil war in the 1980s, hoping to find a safer, more stable place to raise our family. Never did I imagine that decades later, I would still live in North Carolina and call it home—nor did I expect to witness people here facing the same kind of oppressive, draconian laws that pregnant people endure back in El Salvador.

In the United States, there’s a dangerous stereotype that all Latines are anti-abortion, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Latines are not just joining the fight for reproductive rights—we’ve been in it for years, and we will continue to fight until every person has the ability to control their own body, life, and future. As I’ve seen first-hand in the years since Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, and as I have seen growing up, living, and working in this community, reproductive freedom is ingrained in Latine past, present, and future.

Let’s start with the past. Abortion has been in Latine communities for centuries. From using medicinal herbs for reproductive health care to using FDA-approved medication abortion to end pregnancies in consideration of the health and well-being of the pregnant person, many of us have grown up listening to the stories of our elders and the honor with which they treat women, their health, and their lives.

That brings us to the present. Abortion access is at risk in the U.S., and, just like Latin Americans who have been fighting incessantly in the Green Wave, we are fighting to defend and advance that access. At this very moment, more than half of Latines in the U.S. believe that abortion should be legal in all or most cases. Latinas represent the largest group of women of color harmed by current or likely state bans, with nearly 6.7 million Latinas living in states that have banned or are likely to ban abortion, according to the National Partnership for Women & Families. And in North Carolina, where I live, more than 250,000 Latines of reproductive age are harmed by our state’s abortion bans and politicians’ attempts to further restrict care.

As we look to the future, it’s not enough to find temporary solutions or ways to get around current abortion bans. We must create a future where our children have reproductive freedom. Right now, there are nearly 19 million Latine children in the U.S.—approximately 25 percent of the country’s entire youth population. That’s 19 million children who are relying on adults to create a better future for them.

Abortion access has defined our past, and lack of access is defining our present. We must keep fighting to ensure that our future sees true reproductive freedom, and the only way to accomplish this is to stick together. While we are not a monolith, we are a community. Just as Hurricane Helene reminded us, our true power lies in community, our resiliency, love, and respect for one another. That is what drives us to fight for a world in which every person is allowed to decide what is best for themselves, their families and their futures. A world where true freedom includes the freedom to choose.

The post Hurricane Helene Exacerbated Barriers to North Carolina Abortion Access appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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10 Common Misconceptions About Masturbation

$\"10$

Masturbation is a natural and integral aspect of human sexuality, it

It has long been shrouded in unnecessary mystery and stigma. Despite its prevalence and benefits, numerous misconceptions persist, perpetuating harmful attitudes and misunderstandings. Let's delve into the facts and 10 Common Misconceptions About Masturbation

1. Masturbation is addictive and can lead to compulsive behavior

$\"10$

While masturbation can become a habit, it does not meet the criteria for addiction. Moderate masturbation is harmless and does not interfere with daily life. Research suggests that masturbation can help regulate emotions and reduce stress.

2. Masturbation causes physical harm, including blindness, impotence, and infertility.

There is no scientific evidence to support these baseless claims. Masturbation does not harm physical health, including vision, sexual function, or reproductive capabilities. On the contrary, masturbation can help maintain sexual health and overall well-being.

3. Only single people engage in masturbation.

In reality, People in committed relationships and marriages also masturbate. This normal behavior helps individuals understand their desires, explore their bodies, and maintain a healthy sex life. Masturbation can even enhance relationships by reducing stress and promoting self-awareness.

4. Masturbation is exclusively for young people

Masturbation is a lifelong aspect of human sexuality, transcending age boundaries. People of all ages, from adolescence to older adulthood, engage in masturbation as a natural expression of their sexuality.

5. Masturbation negatively impacts relationships

Moderate masturbation can improve relationships by:

- Reducing stress and anxiety

- Enhancing self-awareness and communication

- Fostering a healthier understanding of one's desires

- Promoting intimacy and emotional connection

6. Masturbation is sinful or immoral.

$\"10$

Most modern religions and cultures recognize masturbation as a natural, healthy expression of human sexuality. Education and open dialogue can help dispel shame and stigma.

7. Masturbation contributes to mental health issues.

$\"10$

Masturbation can have numerous mental health benefits, including:

- Stress relief and relaxation

- Improved mood and reduced anxiety

- Enhanced self-esteem and body image

- Better sleep quality

8. Masturbation leads to sexual dysfunction

$\"10$

No evidence supports this claim. Masturbation can actually:

- Help individuals understand their desires and preferences

- Enhance sexual function and satisfaction

- Foster healthier relationships

9. Only men engage in masturbation.

Women and non-binary individuals also masturbate, experiencing similar benefits and pleasures. Masturbation is a universal aspect of human sexuality, regardless of gender or orientation.

10 Masturbation is shameful or embarrassing.

Masturbation is a natural, healthy behavior. Open communication, education, and awareness can help dispel shame and stigma, promoting a more positive and inclusive understanding of human sexuality.

", "keywords": ", Common, Misconceptions, About, Masturbation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "123", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXfSsbcq91vl6vLhV7kRJyGBu8QGVJ5iIBUarLtCJegBhC-lveWTakDD24-AhageR26q0CHNtQRLW4juunJCZsGo5LapD8F89FuEW3-3MKXivNxrbxzzGdOcXvnL0cZRX9GLAZftMjyDsE7csQKjR6B_FEPt=w1600?key=fOG3MxBu7Wlmj-7-xAnXnQ", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2024/10/10-common-misconceptions-about.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-10-06 17:00:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65805", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Let’s Talk About The Sex You’re Not Having", "title_slug": "lets-talk-about-the-sex-youre-not-having", "title_hash": "4929ec36bdec2de158362315601ff1d4", "summary": "Sexless marriage? You're not alone. Take these steps to find intimacy again.\nThe post Let’s Talk About The Sex You’re Not Having appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Sexless marriage? You're not alone. Take these steps to find intimacy again.

The post Let’s Talk About The Sex You’re Not Having appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Let’s, Talk, About, The, Sex, You’re, Not, Having", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/sexless-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-27 16:15:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65804", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Navigate Different Parenting Styles", "title_slug": "how-to-navigate-different-parenting-styles", "title_hash": "c7b8e4a6dffb4b72fcf1e4e19f20b826", "summary": "Do you and your partner disagree about how to parent your children? Learn how to manage these differences so that it doesn't wreak havoc on your relationship and family.\nThe post How to Navigate Different Parenting Styles appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Do you and your partner disagree about how to parent your children? Learn how to manage these differences so that it doesn't wreak havoc on your relationship and family.

The post How to Navigate Different Parenting Styles appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Navigate, Different, Parenting, Styles", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "103", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/navigate-different-parenting-styles/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-27 16:15:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65803", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Little Things That Will Make or Break Your Relationship", "title_slug": "the-little-things-that-will-make-or-break-your-relationship", "title_hash": "7f18e5cff66c7d1fdec405ab3c74ad04", "summary": "Pay attention to the small ways in which your partner reaches for you and attempts to connect.\nThe post The Little Things That Will Make or Break Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Pay attention to the small ways in which your partner reaches for you and attempts to connect.

The post The Little Things That Will Make or Break Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "The, Little, Things, That, Will, Make, Break, Your, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "104", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": null, "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/little-things-make-break-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-27 16:14:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65610", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Girls on the Prowl Find Men Handsomer", "title_slug": "girls-on-the-prowl-find-men-handsomer", "title_hash": "9e368270c3b22996004dce8aa3206985", "summary": "Research shows that women who want to meet a man rate men handsomer in general. When she’s on the prowl, EVERY guy’s a Prince Charming to her!\nI know a lot of guys are very focused on their looks.\nSo this study should be intriguing. From the study:\nIt was found that the more interested women were in meeting members of the opposite sex, the more attractive they viewed the opposite-sex patrons in the bar. (Interest was not found to affect the attractiveness of the opposite-sex confederate.) For men, no relationship was found between interest and physical attractiveness ratings.\n\nRegarding the “opposite-sex confederate” bit: the researchers paired men and women up with an average-looking opposite-sex companion and sent them to a bar together. They wanted to see if the ‘beer goggles’ effect was real.\nThey found that it for women it wasn’t. As the night went on, women rated men’s looks worse – both the looks of the guy they went there with and the other patrons in the bar. Further, the drun", "content": "

$\"girls$ Research shows that women who want to meet a man rate men handsomer in general. When she’s on the prowl, EVERY guy’s a Prince Charming to her!

I know a lot of guys are very focused on their looks.

So this study should be intriguing. From the study:

Regarding the “opposite-sex confederate” bit: the researchers paired men and women up with an average-looking opposite-sex companion and sent them to a bar together. They wanted to see if the ‘beer goggles’ effect was real.

They found that it for women it wasn’t. As the night went on, women rated men’s looks worse – both the looks of the guy they went there with and the other patrons in the bar. Further, the drunker women got, the harsher critics they were of the looks of men!

(men, for the record, rated other female bar patrons the same at the beginning and end of the night – however they rated the average-looking girl they came with a whopping 19% better-looking by the end of the night!)

The one exception to the harsh judgments women made: women who were on the prowl.

The more a girl was out to meet men, the better-looking the guys in the bar looked to her.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Girls, the, Prowl, Find, Men, Handsomer", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/women-on-prowl-find-men-handsomer-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/girls-prowl-find-men-handsomer", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:34:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65609", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Showing Disinterest in Girls Is So Deadly Effective", "title_slug": "why-showing-disinterest-in-girls-is-so-deadly-effective", "title_hash": "b73933b22589693567ce8c24eea3f577", "summary": "Most guys work hard to show women how interested they are. So why would you want to show a girl DISinterest? Just one reason: to raise HER interest in YOU!\nHey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.\nLast week, I discussed showing interest by using indirect game to attract women.\nA common misconception with indirect game is that you are overly aloof without showing any interest, relying on displaying disinterest. Although there is some truth to this, most go-to formulas of indirect game involve showing interest—sooner rather than later.\nYou should eventually escalate the vibe, creating an “us” frame. This is a “you and me together” vibe, adding a romantic and sexual layer to the interaction. For more, see my article from last week, which discusses ways to show interest.\nShowing interest also helps avoid unnecessary auto-rejections. You do not want a girl to prematurely eject herself from the interaction to safeguard her ego. By showing some interest, you keep her in the l", "content": "

$\"showing$ Most guys work hard to show women how interested they are. So why would you want to show a girl DISinterest? Just one reason: to raise HER interest in YOU!

Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

Last week, I discussed showing interest by using indirect game to attract women.

A common misconception with indirect game is that you are overly aloof without showing any interest, relying on displaying disinterest. Although there is some truth to this, most go-to formulas of indirect game involve showing interest—sooner rather than later.

You should eventually escalate the vibe, creating an “us” frame. This is a “you and me together” vibe, adding a romantic and sexual layer to the interaction. For more, see my article from last week, which discusses ways to show interest.

Showing interest also helps avoid unnecessary auto-rejections. You do not want a girl to prematurely eject herself from the interaction to safeguard her ego. By showing some interest, you keep her in the loop, giving her a sign of hope that she has a shot at getting you.

Today, I will cover when to show disinterest—an essential indirect game factor. You will learn to show disinterest in ways to maintain her curiosity in you by:

\n
Showing disinterest in a way that does not de-escalate the vibe
\n

\n
Showing disinterest without causing auto-rejection
\n

Next week, I will go through the different ways to show disinterest.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Showing, Disinterest, Girls, Deadly, Effective", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/showing-disinterest-in-a-girl-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-showing-disinterest-girls-so-deadly-effective", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:34:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65608", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Roses of Romantic Attraction: Progress Report (Logistics Research Done)", "title_slug": "roses-of-romantic-attraction-progress-report-logistics-research-done", "title_hash": "9b272481ee076156feb4b040b0431a79", "summary": "Chase has wrapped Rose VIII and started into Rose IX. He covers some snags finishing up Rose VIII, and his success uncovering research on logistics for IX.\nIt’s been two weeks since my previous update on my upcoming book The Roses of Romantic Attraction.\nThis is the book where I compile all the current research on how men and women attract one another and fit it into a usable system for both sexes. A potent, usable, and deep guidebook to attracting desirable mates.\nThere are tons of “how to get dates” and “how to get laid” books out there teaching this or that guru’s particular method. There are tons of academic papers out there that cover individual elements of the attraction process.\nNo one has ever put together a book that drills down to the fundamentals of romantic attraction; one that goes beyond a specific teacher’s method and instead explains the universal attraction elements that every teacher’s method is based upon; one every published paper examines one or another aspect of.\n", "content": "

$\"The$ Chase has wrapped Rose VIII and started into Rose IX. He covers some snags finishing up Rose VIII, and his success uncovering research on logistics for IX.

It’s been two weeks since my previous update on my upcoming book The Roses of Romantic Attraction.

This is the book where I compile all the current research on how men and women attract one another and fit it into a usable system for both sexes. A potent, usable, and deep guidebook to attracting desirable mates.

There are tons of “how to get dates” and “how to get laid” books out there teaching this or that guru’s particular method. There are tons of academic papers out there that cover individual elements of the attraction process.

No one has ever put together a book that drills down to the fundamentals of romantic attraction; one that goes beyond a specific teacher’s method and instead explains the universal attraction elements that every teacher’s method is based upon; one every published paper examines one or another aspect of.

That’s what RoRA is: it is the attraction Bible.

For more on the start of the project and why I’m writing it, see my prior update.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Roses, Romantic, Attraction:, Progress, Report, Logistics, Research, Done", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/rora-pr-9-1-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/roses-romantic-attraction-progress-report-logistics-research-done", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:34:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65607", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Become a High Status Hero in Your Social Circle Scene", "title_slug": "how-to-become-a-high-status-hero-in-your-social-circle-scene", "title_hash": "c56fb5bda6c3622e31298c19f0904a6f", "summary": "You’ve joined a new scene with new people. How do you rise to the top and break into the ‘in’ crowd? Follow these 9 popularity rules & you WILL get there!\nThis post by MonsieurLabrie originally appeared on our forum here.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"how$ You’ve joined a new scene with new people. How do you rise to the top and break into the ‘in’ crowd? Follow these 9 popularity rules & you WILL get there!

This post by MonsieurLabrie originally appeared on our forum here.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Become, High, Status, Hero, Your, Social, Circle, Scene", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/become-high-status-social-scene-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-become-high-status-hero-your-social-circle-scene", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:34:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65606", "lang_id": "1", "title": "[FREE BOOK] 10 Nonverbal Tricks that Get Girls to Chase You", "title_slug": "free-book-10-nonverbal-tricks-that-get-girls-to-chase-you", "title_hash": "81cde1072394d19214b4370675c2ed4d", "summary": "Get girls to laugh, follow you, and fight for your attention with these nonverbal chasing tricks. If you have an X/Twitter account, I’ll send the book FREE.\nHowdy gents.\nI’ve got a cool new mini book written up for you. The title?\n10 Nonverbal Tricks that Get Girls to Chase You!\nI’m making the book available for $4.99.\nHowever, if you have an X/Twitter account, the book is completely free.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"10$ Get girls to laugh, follow you, and fight for your attention with these nonverbal chasing tricks. If you have an X/Twitter account, I’ll send the book FREE.

Howdy gents.

I’ve got a cool new mini book written up for you. The title?

10 Nonverbal Tricks that Get Girls to Chase You!

I’m making the book available for $4.99.

However, if you have an X/Twitter account, the book is completely free.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "FREE, BOOK, Nonverbal, Tricks, that, Get, Girls, Chase, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "86", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/10_nonverbal_tricks_that_get_girls_to_chase_you_preview.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/free-book-10-nonverbal-tricks-get-girls-chase-you", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:34:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65605", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Expert Warns About Seven Red Flags That Might Be Mistaken for Positive Traits", "title_slug": "dating-expert-warns-about-seven-red-flags-that-might-be-mistaken-for-positive-traits", "title_hash": "3888d89eec6c1d506c8357791e04b5bb", "summary": "A dating expert has cautioned about seven significant red flags in relationships that are often mistaken for positive…", "content": "A dating expert has cautioned about seven significant red flags in relationships that are often mistaken for positive…", "keywords": "Dating, Expert, Warns, About, Seven, Red, Flags, That, Might, Mistaken, for, Positive, Traits", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/image6.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/dating-expert-warns-about-seven-red-flags-that-might-be-mistaken-for-positive-traits/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:33:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65604", "lang_id": "1", "title": "9 Things Smart People Will Never Sacrifice for a Relationship", "title_slug": "9-things-smart-people-will-never-sacrifice-for-a-relationship", "title_hash": "97fcb98032dcdeb85576b5b33f86cdb4", "summary": "In any relationship, there are certain things that should never be compromised, no matter how much you care…", "content": "In any relationship, there are certain things that should never be compromised, no matter how much you care…", "keywords": ", Things, Smart, People, Will, Never, Sacrifice, for, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/111.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/9-things-smart-people-will-never-sacrifice-for-a-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:33:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65603", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Reality Star Looks Unrecognizable at the 2024 Emmys", "title_slug": "reality-star-looks-unrecognizable-at-the-2024-emmys", "title_hash": "73ac27d9e492abcbf7097e576e5e572a", "summary": "A reality TV star appeared almost completely transformed at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, September 16,…", "content": "A reality TV star appeared almost completely transformed at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards on Sunday, September 16,…", "keywords": "Reality, Star, Looks, Unrecognizable, the, 2024, Emmys", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/111111.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/reality-star-looks-unrecognizable-at-the-2024-emmys/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:33:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65602", "lang_id": "1", "title": "2024 Beducated Report Reveals State of Our Sex Lives", "title_slug": "2024-beducated-report-reveals-state-of-our-sex-lives", "title_hash": "d47bfba69371f11904e47a717c2cc780", "summary": "A New Study Has Broken Down the Difference Between What Men & Women Want in Bed", "content": "The Story\r\nSex can be a lot of fun — but it’s also an area of unfulfilled promise in many people’s lives. \r\nAt least, that’s the impression one gets from reading sex education platform Beducated’s latest survey, which asked 1,885 respondents about their sex lives and desires. \r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Positions to Try With a Partner \r\nThe Snapshot\r\nWhile the study explored a variety of interesting aspects of desire, questions that showed significant gaps between respondents of different genders were interesting. \r\nRELATED: Things Women Wish Men Knew About Sex \r\nFor one, while the perception is that men are the hornier gender, according to Beducated’s survey-takers, there’s a bit more variation in the mix. \r\n\r\nThis data suggests that, while women are more likely to report that they have very low libido and less likely to report a high one, they’re also more likely than men to report neutral ones, seeming to cluster in the middle. Furthermore, they're more likely to report very high libidos than nonexistent ones, and more likely to report high than low. \r\n\r\nOn the flip side, the above graph suggests that the longer a heterosexual relationship lasts, the more likely a man is than his female partner to say he’s the one with the higher libido — and it’s not close. \r\nThe Lesson\r\nWhile it’s important not to extrapolate too much from any one survey, especially one with fewer than 2,000 respondents, the results Beducated found are definitely interesting. \r\nWe have tons of ideas about how men and women experience sexual desire in our culture, and often they’re little more than myths. However, some of them have grains of truth to them, too. \r\nRELATED: Reasons She Stopped Having Sex \r\nThe data in this study suggest that women can and do have very high sex drives — but that perhaps being in a long-term relationship with a man dampens them over time. For hetero couples, knowing that could be helpful as they negotiate challenges related to sex frequency, for instance. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Have Hot Sex in a Long-Term RelationshipUnderstanding What Happens to Sex in a MarriageHow to fix a Sexless Relationship", "keywords": "2024, Beducated, Report, Reveals, State, Our, Sex, Lives", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "96", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/2024-beducated-report-reveals-state-of-our-sex-lives/askmen-lead-image-template-9-1726859719.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/2024-beducated-report-reveals-state-of-our-sex-lives.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:33:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65601", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When He Finally Chose to Pursue His Own Happiness, NFL Star Darren Waller Retired From Football", "title_slug": "when-he-finally-chose-to-pursue-his-own-happiness-nfl-star-darren-waller-retired-from-football", "title_hash": "c0c0b982d0d623f421a06fa111fe49fa", "summary": "Why NFL Star Darren Waller Is Choosing Self-Care, Music and Retirement", "content": "Darren Waller is smiling ear to ear because he’s finally doing the thing that’s evaded him most of his career: Taking care of himself.\r\nThe former NFL star and Pro Bowl selection was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in 2015, the same year he started pursuing music. But in 2016, he was suspended four games for failing a drug test. The following year, he was again suspended—this time for a year—for once again violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy.\r\nBut Waller gained reinstatement to the league prior to the start of the 2018 season, and went on to have a successful run with the Oakland (now Las Vegas) Raiders before being traded to the New York Giants during the 2023 offseason.\r\nNow, in his first year of retirement at age 32, Waller is returning to the path of music—a path that’s always existed parallel to football, but a path that is now front and center. He recently joined a roster of prominent artists for the Madden 2024 NFL Official Soundtrack distributed by Interscope Records, and his latest release—the EP On Notice: Bag Talk—will be followed by a new EP next month.\r\nRELATED: Olympic Gold Medalist Kauli Vaast on Performing Under Pressure\r\nIn an poignant and honest conversation with AskMen, Waller opens up about his struggles on and off the field, his path to sobriety, success in the NFL, and how lasting success in any facet of life really starts by learning how to take care of yourself.\r\nAskMen: Growing up, did you always know football was the path you wanted to pursue?\r\nDarren Waller: When we moved to Georgia right before I turned five, my parents were looking for things for my sister and I to try, so they threw me into football. I loved it out the gate and was obsessed with watching classic NFL films. I knew so much about football at a very young age and was really good at the game.\r\nBut I was always somebody who struggled with where they fit in, and as I got into high school, the pure love for the game went away—though I realized being good at football would provide me with validation and could make me successful. My first full three seasons with the Raiders were like connecting back to that childlike joy—but from the end of high school through being reinstated in the NFL, it was difficult for me to tap into a love and fire for the game.\r\nAskMen: Your love for football began as a kid, as did your love for music. When did you first start cultivating an interest in music?\r\nDarren Waller: My parents had me and my sister playing piano as kids and had us in band in middle school. I enjoyed the challenge of music and reading sheet music, but never really thought about creating it until I learned about my great-grandfather [jazz pianist Fatz Waller] and the legacy he left. Growing up, I was so focused on trying to fit in and do what was “cool” that I didn’t allow myself to just be a kid. But when I’m making music now, I’m just being a kid.\r\nAskMen: How did both interests help you through the darker period of your life when you were battling addiction prior to being reinstated?\r\nDarren Waller: It’s kind of a crazy picture how both parallel each other. The moment I decided I was going to make music was the first or second day I got to Maryland after being drafted by the Ravens. But the first two years I was making music I didn’t really let anyone know I was making it.\r\nI started collaborating with some people back home in Georgia, and around the time I was suspended by the NFL, I had more time on my hands to create after rehab. By the time I got back into the league, music was providing a balance for me because of the toll football takes physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s always been a good way for me to step away and fill my cup.\r\nAskMen: In terms of filling your cup, what other techniques did you implement that helped you battle addiction?\r\nDarren Waller: Constant therapy, group settings, one-on-one settings, twelve step meetings, working with sponsors, journaling, being of service and giving back. Prayer and meditation were the real foundation of it, but there are a lot of things that keep me on that path. When I don’t do them, I can feel myself drifting—my mood changes, my mental health goes up and down. But when I’m in that pocket of doing those things and keeping a routine schedule of those things, I’m usually in a good place.\r\nAskMen: How much is taking care of yourself and your mental health a factor in showing up as the person you want to be?\r\nDarren Waller: It’s the most important—whether it’s being the player you want to be or the person you want to be. For so long, I felt the pressure of football and the pressure to succeed was taking the humanity out of the experience, making it all about results. There’s a human being in those shoulder pads, which you can forget if you’re not aware or present to the moment.\r\nIt makes sense then that when my career was at a low point, it was because the person in those shoulder pads—the person who was supposed to make that career happen—was not being cared for or prioritized in any way. The moment I started taking care of myself and built habits to routinely do that, my talent was able to show itself.\r\nAskMen: Does the same process also help unlock your talent as an artist?\r\nDarren Waller: Without a doubt. The engineer I work with is at my house right now and every time we get together, we’ll lock in for four days or so and come out with eight to ten songs. I’m at shock with what comes out of my body and mind and the ideas channeling through me. I’m taking care of myself the best I ever have at this moment and it shows in the stuff I’m making.\r\nAskMen: And by channeling the music through you, you’re not trying to make it be something, it just is.\r\nDarren Waller: Yeah, anytime I feel like I need to come up with something, nothing happens. But being present in the moment and allowing it to take place, words can just flow out of me. You can’t force anything to happen in this life, you just have to accept the moment and let it be what it is. Something beautiful may come or it may not come—and if it doesn’t come, it’s not a reflection of who you are. You just have to be patient.\r\nAskMen: What are you channeling into your art?\r\nDarren Waller: Thoughts and emotions I’ve experienced that I feel a lot of people can relate to: Common, shared experiences. While I love making all types of music, the songs focusing on gratitude, real feelings and dealing with pain are my favorites. My music is about the truth of what I’m experiencing and taking the risk of sharing that. That will always be fulfilling.\r\nAskMen: Is there a parallel between being in flow while creating music and being in flow while playing football?\r\nDarren Waller: I got a lot better at the craft of playing football by just the number of reps I was putting in during the offseason and the intentionality behind those reps. In football, you’ll line up at several different spots on the field to get open. Similarly for music, one day I might rap more, the next I might have more melodies—some R&B or love stuff—and just flow in and out of these different pockets and not limit myself.\r\nMy work ethic improved my football game, and with music, nobody is motivating me to come into the studio. It’s a freeing experience when nobody has to motivate you to do anything. I’m willing to do this because I’m a fire guy and I know this is going to lead to something. Whatever the reward is—even if it’s just feeling good about myself—I’m going to continue to invest in this.\r\nI walked away from the game because it wasn’t something I wanted to continue to do at this point in my life. But I can’t discount the number of things it taught me like resiliency, overcoming some form of adversity everyday, and showing up when you’re beat up or don’t want to play—but you go out there anyway and give your best effort. It taught me to be patient with the process: Seasons are long and off-seasons are long and you have to go through the whole off-season to get to the rewarding part where the games are. All of those principles helped me become a better man in life, and I have so much gratitude for what football has provided me.\r\nAskMen: In terms of your decision to walk away from the game, was putting on the cleats not fueling you the same way it had in the past?\r\nDarren Waller: Yeah, I feel like in ways I was chasing the highs of years before. There’s an “American” conditioning where if we do something—especially if we’re successful at it—we feel we have to keep doing it. A lot of people have careers where they’re able to work 50 years and never change, but I don’t necessarily want to do that.\r\nI’ve had some great moments and I’ve gone through so much in my career, but I reached a place where I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t honestly say why I was still there, I was only there because I was supposed to be there—and I don’t want to live my life based on what I’m supposed to be doing. I want to live my life based on what I want to be doing, and I’d reached a point where football wasn’t what I wanted to actively do.\r\nI know I’m going against the grain in that a lot of people wouldn’t make the decision I’m making, but I’ve always made decisions based on what people would want me to do, and I’ve got to shift. It’s got to be different or I’m going to continue feeling the same way.\r\nAskMen: So football started to feel more like work than play.\r\nDarren Waller: For sure, man. There started to be more days where I’d wake up in the morning saying, “f*ck!” rather than “let’s go.” I had to keep putting the mask on and making sure I wasn’t showing signs that my love and passion for the game was deteriorating. I had to make sure I was looking the part and having energy. I’d find myself stuck in these places—feeling ungrateful to know that somebody else would kill to be here—but it’s like, what about me? What about my life?\r\nAskMen: Once you made the adjustment to start taking care of yourself, did that have ramifications on your personal life?\r\nDarren Waller: All of the emotions from the football season definitely contributed. When I’m feeling those types of ways, I’m definitely isolative. Mix that in with being codependent and trying to always make sure everything is right for a partner or whomever I’m trying to please and get validation from—it eventually turns into resentment against them, when it’s really about me not prioritizing myself or communicating. There are a lot of things that contribute to it, and they will always spill over and affect the people who are closest to you.\r\nAskMen: How were you able to address and take accountability for that codependency in order to move past it?\r\nDarren Waller: First off, just being aware of it. I feel like codependency is branded to moms and old white ladies who are trying to be helicopter moms. But I fit the mold, man. All of it comes from childhood wounds and traumas from earlier in life. Addiction comes from that, too, so it’s about going back to those roots and spreading my recovery into different areas.\r\nAskMen: What would you say to people who are afraid to embark on the path of taking care of themselves?\r\nDarren Waller: For people who fear prioritizing themselves, I might ask them what not taking care of themselves is providing them. Not in a cutting tone—it’s something I had to ask myself as well. I would walk through my days longing for something better, but looking for something on the outside is never the recipe because it’s fleeting.\r\nHaving a relationship with yourself where you’re taking care of yourself—you get to a point where life may still be difficult in seasons and there might be uncomfortable things you’ll need to walk through, but you’ll have a sense of groundedness in yourself—where you’re going to be okay internally regardless if things on the outside get a little crazy at times. You’ll be able to accept the world as it is and have inner peace, no matter what’s happening externally. That’s the journey.\r\nFollow @rackwall for the latest on Darren Waller and his music\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow Damian Lillard Became Comfortable Being UncomfortableThierry Henry on Making Each Day CountShaggy Opens Up About the Future of Music", "keywords": "When, Finally, Chose, Pursue, His, Own, Happiness, NFL, Star, Darren, Waller, Retired, From, Football", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/sports/when-he-finally-chose-to-pursue-his-own-happiness-nfl-star-darren-waller-retired-from-football/askmen-lead-image-template-1727094466.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/sports/when-he-finally-chose-to-pursue-his-own-happiness-nfl-star-darren-waller-retired-from-football.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:32:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65600", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Compliments Women Can't Resist", "title_slug": "10-compliments-women-cant-resist", "title_hash": "bfc3fcede982e0c771e2b82626ade1ef", "summary": "Giving someone a compliment can be a tricky proposition. While it’s true that everyone likes to feel nice about themselves, sometimes, compliments can just make people feel worse. \r\nWhether it’s by making them feel embarrassed or self-conscious, or by overdoing it and making them question your motives, it’s not too hard to turn a compliment into a social faux pas. \r\nRELATED: Signs She's Not Interested in You\r\nThe difficulty level can be turned up a notch when you’re a guy complimenting a woman. Your kind words could easily be interpreted as flattery designed to get you into her good graces — or her pants. And if she’s not looking for that kind of attention, or she’s simply not attracted to you, it can get awkward, fast. \r\nSo how do you compliment a woman — especially a woman you’re interested in — without making a cringe-worthy compliment mistake\r\nBelow, you'll find the top 10 compliments women can’t resist (and why you should start using them ASAP).\r\n“That was a good one, you're so fu", "content": "Giving someone a compliment can be a tricky proposition. While it’s true that everyone likes to feel nice about themselves, sometimes, compliments can just make people feel worse. \r\nWhether it’s by making them feel embarrassed or self-conscious, or by overdoing it and making them question your motives, it’s not too hard to turn a compliment into a social faux pas. \r\nRELATED: Signs She's Not Interested in You\r\nThe difficulty level can be turned up a notch when you’re a guy complimenting a woman. Your kind words could easily be interpreted as flattery designed to get you into her good graces — or her pants. And if she’s not looking for that kind of attention, or she’s simply not attracted to you, it can get awkward, fast. \r\nSo how do you compliment a woman — especially a woman you’re interested in — without making a cringe-worthy compliment mistake\r\nBelow, you'll find the top 10 compliments women can’t resist (and why you should start using them ASAP).\r\n“That was a good one, you're so funny!”\r\nMen are so preoccupied with the idea that they need to be the funny one in the relationship that they stifle their significant other’s attempts at humor. Sometimes, it can lead to an awkward dynamic where the girl feels under-appreciated because it seems like you’re always trying to outshine her.\r\nIf you show sincere appreciation for her humor, she’ll warm up to you as a result.\r\nLetting your date, girlfriend, or wife know you find her funny is usually best communicated by simply laughing at her jokes, or responding with the cry-laugh emoji to her funny texts. \r\nRELATED: How to Flirt Using Emojis\r\nIt can also be reinforced on occasion by letting her know in actual words (“you’re hilarious,” “you crack me up” or “you have such a sharp sense of humor”).\r\n“I've learned so much from talking with you.”\r\nEveryone likes to feel as though they bring valuable information to the table. Whether your love interest is book smart or street smart, let them know that you value their opinions and input, and are eager to learn from them.\r\nEveryone brings something to the table in terms of knowledge, so think carefully about what your partner is teaching you, and compliment on that specifically so that it's more genuine.\r\nA more tailored way of delivering this compliment is by relating it to taste, noting that you appreciate what they watch, read, or listen to.\r\n“You have such incredible eyes/lips/hair.”\r\nTelling a woman she's beautiful will usually be well-received, but it can be such a generic compliment that it occasionally comes across as a bit disingenuous. Go a step further by isolating her best features and targeting those specifically.\r\nIf she’s got amazing, full lips, tell her so, or if she’s got gleaming white teeth, hone in on that particular feature.\r\nThe more specific you are, the better. It shows that you’re paying attention! It’s also best to avoid focusing on cruder, more sexual body parts (her boobs or ass, for example) unless you have an established relationship and are sure that it won't come off as creepy. Complimenting a woman on her skin, hair or nails, especially if they are particularly clear, glossy and strong respectively, can be a good move, too.\r\nA lot of women put unheralded effort into those particular areas.\r\n“I trust you implicitly.”\r\nJealousy can be an ugly dividing force in relationships, and if you have a tendency to let the green-eyed monster run a little wild, you should take stock of your partner’s loyalty. Compliment her for it!\r\nAfter all, unless you have actual evidence that she’s cheated on you, she will appreciate some acknowledgment for staying true to you, especially if the norm for you is suspicious text messages and thinly-veiled accusations of flirting. Even though loyalty is something that should go without saying when you’ve committed to someone, that doesn’t mean you can't show your gratitude for it.\r\n“You’re not like anyone I've ever met before.”\r\nThis is not the same as saying, “you’re not like other girls,” which is unlikely to be well received by self-respecting women.\r\n“You’re not like everyone else” acknowledges your significant other’s unique personality quirks and reassures her that you find them endearing rather than weird. We’d all like for our less conventional quirks and idiosyncrasies to be noticed and appreciated, because it means that we’re valued for who we are, not just the polished facade we adopt when we’re on our best behavior.\r\n“You’re really good at what you do.”\r\nWhatever the woman in your life does in terms of career, hobbies, or side hustles, chances are she's looking to be noticed for her skills and success.\r\nPay attention to the craft that matters most to her. There’s no point complimenting her abilities at her 9-to-5 banking job if you know she finds it soul-destroying, but a meaningful compliment about her art will show that you care about the things she truly values.\r\nA compliment like this will set you apart and make her feel warm and fuzzy.\r\n“I feel like I'm so much better when I'm with you.”\r\nWe’re often complimented for fairly meaningless things in life: our outfits, external attributes, or how nice the things we buy are.\r\nIt's very satisfying to know that the person we're with appreciates us for so much more than the physical stuff. It strikes at the core of who you are as a person and your most selfless and very best qualities. If you tell your partner that you feel like you're a better person when they're around, it compliments them for being able to bring out, or enhance, qualities you didn't know you had.\r\nAs cheesy as it may sound, they're the other half that's capable of making you feel whole. If you let your significant other know that, odds are she'll be left swooning.\r\n“You’re one of the sexiest women I've ever met.”\r\nKeep this one for after a few dates, so you don’t come off as overtly focused on sex.\r\nIf you’re in a relationship, there's a good chance your partner will want to be reassured that you find her attractive in a sexual way. Usually best for when you’re just about to get it on or when she’s looking and feeling her best, a “you’re so sexy”-style compliment like this can really be the icing on the cake to turn her on.\r\n“You look amazing, as always.”\r\nIf you're not especially close yet, complimenting a woman’s appearance can be delicate business. If you say something while she’s wearing a face full of makeup, she may feel as though you don’t like the way she looks when she’s more dressed down. Conversely, if you tell her you prefer her without makeup, she may take that as a sign that you find her too dolled up on other occasions.\r\nFor this reason, it’s best to keep compliments about her looks a bit more general instead of specific. The last thing you want is for something you’ve intended as a positive statement to make her feel worse about her appearance. It's always a safe bet to say something such as, \"you look great today,” or “you look amazing, as always.”\r\n“You’re my favorite person to spend time with.”\r\nTelling someone that you enjoy their company is about the simplest, sincerest compliment on earth. It’s always great to hear from someone you’re seeing that you’re their favorite person to spend time with.\r\nSometimes, long-term relationships lose their spark and passion that defines them early on. This can be a good way to reaffirm what your partner means to you, even if you’ve moved into comfortable, familiar territory.\r\nCompliments are a simple way to improve your relationship while bolstering your partner's self-esteem. The key with compliments is to make them thoughtful, specific, and related to things other than looks. If you’re being genuine and pointing out aspects you truly like about the person, you can’t go too wrong.\r\nBe generous with your verbal affection, and hopefully, she'll return the favor!\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Talk to Girls on Tinder\r\n\tThe Art of Flirting Without Negging\r\n\tFlirting Mistakes Guys Make on Social Media", "keywords": ", Compliments, Women, Cant, Resist", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/player_250/250_love_games/askmen-lead-image-template-1727181311.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/player_250/250_love_games.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-24 20:32:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65183", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Circus in Town Is the Trump Campaign", "title_slug": "the-circus-in-town-is-the-trump-campaign", "title_hash": "46ec26424ce5f1e99bf10313ed3af49c", "summary": " We know Donald Trump presents a very real threat to reproductive freedom—journalists need to act like it.\nThe post The Circus in Town Is the Trump Campaign appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The first presidential election since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade is turning out to be a total clown show for conservatives. J.D. Vance can’t order doughnuts without making it weird. Donald Trump rambles incoherently about mifepristone and whatever other shiny object has captured his attention at the moment.

And in last night’s debate between Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris, that shiny object is apparently word-salad around Democrats’ embrace of “post-birth abortion” and claims that every legal scholar wanted Roe overturned. Which, what?! The spectacle would maybe be entertaining if this weren’t the most consequential presidential election of our lifetimes.

I’m convinced the chaos of it all is a big part of their election strategy, because the more outrageously Trump and Vance behave, the less attention the media will give to the deadly consequences of a second Trump term.

No matter what Trump serves up on abortion, the fact is the conservative legal movement remains hell-bent on enacting some kind of national abortion ban, whether via legislation or simple, draconian enforcement of the Comstock Act. Their “leave abortion to the states” talking point never mentions how in 2024, for example, four states introduced legislation that criminalizes non-parent adults who support minors’ out-of-state travel for abortion care—and Tennessee enacted its law. Conservatives certainly don’t highlight the fact that they are champing at the bit to prosecute patients for accessing care in addition to the providers and aid organizations facilitating it.

And they’re definitely not talking about how their plans for enshrining fetal “personhood” into law would eliminate access to in vitro fertilization, threaten contraception access, and drastically expand the criminal surveillance of people who can get pregnant.

Nope. And it’s clear the media is more interested in engaging with the circus Trump’s campaign team has served up than holding him and the rest of the conservative movement accountable for the consequences of overturning Roe.

The post The Circus in Town Is the Trump Campaign appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Circus, Town, the, Trump, Campaign", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/TrumpVanceFallout-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/09/11/the-circus-in-town-is-the-trump-campaign/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-22 12:07:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "65182", "lang_id": "1", "title": "‘It’s Never Been Done:’ Black-led Birthing Center to Serve Detroit", "title_slug": "its-never-been-done-black-led-birthing-center-to-serve-detroit", "title_hash": "433afaba4360796561b71ed1f752110b", "summary": "When it comes to the U.S. maternal mortality rate, \"we still have a long way to go, and birth centers are a major part in shifting those outcomes.\"\nThe post ‘It’s Never Been Done:’ Black-led Birthing Center to Serve Detroit appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Parents in Detroit will soon be able to seek birthing care at a Black-led freestanding birth center, the first of its kind in Michigan.

Birth Detroit, a community-based maternal health-care provider led by midwives on Detroit’s northwest side, has been serving families via the Easy Access Clinic in recent years. The goal from its inception in 2018 was to have its own center, said Elon Geffrard, Birth Detroit’s co-founder and perinatal support and education director.

That goal will soon come to fruition.

After launching a fundraising campaign in 2022, Birth Detroit raised $4 million to fund a freestanding birth center. To celebrate, the nonprofit plans to host a grand opening party in October, Geffrard said. The organization aims to shift its services from its shared space with Brilliant Detroit, a nonprofit that supports kids and families, to its new birth center and eventually serve more families. Birth Detroit has also partnered with the nonprofit health-care organization Henry Ford Health to send patients to its nearby facility in cases of an emergency, Geffrard said.

Birth Detroit offers pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, prenatal screenings, nutrition and breastfeeding support, and labor preparation. It also offers classes to educate people about nutrition, stress management, stages of labor, and other pregnancy information. Once open, Birth Detroit will continue—and aims to grow—classes, Geffrard said.

“It was important to us to create a birth center for Detroit in Detroit, because it’s never been done, and it’s not been a readily available option, particularly for Black and brown families in our community,” Geffrard said. “And so we wanted to be the first.”

Funding and building a birth center

\"Three — From left, speakers at the Black Maternal Health Conference: Kimberly Durdin, network engagement director of Birth Center Equity; Leseliey Welch, co-founder and board president of Birth Detroit and founder and CEO of Birth Center Equity; and Gianna Fay, midwifery director of Birth Center Equity

Birth Detroit’s efforts to create the birth center started before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, but when it arrived, Geffrard said, “We knew we needed to help families navigate systems that were oftentimes leaving them without support and advocacy.”

The center features two private exam rooms, a co-working space, laundry room, and a large birth suite that can be divided into two smaller birth suites, said Patrick Linder, managing partner at Detroit-based architecture firm Partners’ Design Build.

While designing the space, Linder said he sat with Birth Detroit’s midwives for two- or three-hour conversations. From there, the space was designed to feel like a “maxi home, not a mini hospital,” where birthing parents and families can feel at ease. The birthing suite features a curbless shower, a private deck, and a kitchenette with a mini-refrigerator, microwave, and dimmable lights. When divided into two smaller suites, each birthing suite is temperature controlled

The birthing suite has a kitchenette with a mini-refrigerator, dimmable lights, and an inflatable tub that can be filled and drained using a customized system, Linder said. The center also has a “care square” station for the organization’s midwives, complete with a medical refrigerator, lockers, and a hand-washing station.

“I hope they feel at home,” Linder said. “I hope they feel like they belong here and that they’re welcome.”

The staff wrote “our intentions, prayers, hopes, and [our] affirmations” on the beams within the center before they were encased in drywall, Geffrard said. One of Geffrard’s affirmations was “we will not lose one,” a prayer to not lose one child or birthing parent on their watch, she said.

In the future, Birth Detroit hopes to open a location on the city’s east side, so more residents can access its services. However, it would only do so with support from the community, Geffrard said.

“We didn’t get into this work to be fluffy or to have good feelings only,” she said. “We came to make an impact because mothers and babies were dying in our community, and they didn’t have to.”

As awareness grows regarding the U.S. maternal death rate, the rise of birth centers could partially be attributed to the realization that the maternal death problem is “affecting all of us,” Geffrard said.

Birth Detroit’s new center will be one of few Black-owned birthing centers in the United States, a disparity driven in part by the country’s racial wealth gap, Geffrard said. The nonprofit tapped the Wright Collective, a national fundraising agency, in 2021 to help with raising money. Reflecting on her 15-year tenure in philanthropy, Alyssa Wright, founder and principal of the Wright Collective, said many nonprofits remain dependent upon donors, because they don’t receive enough money to own their assets and build wealth within the community.

After launching its fundraising campaign, Birth Detroit raised funding from both large nonprofits such as the W.K. Kellogg Foundation and from community supporters, which went toward buying the land, constructing the facility, and hiring a clinical team and running the center for two years, Wright said. Because Michigan does not reimburse midwives in community care settings, Birth Detroit is continuing to raise funding to support its staff, Geffrard said.

“I was really excited about the birth center model, because I saw it not only as the opportunity to create better birth experiences for families but also as an economic opportunity for social entrepreneurs in the community to build wealth by opening, owning, and operating their own health-care centers,” Wright said.

Henry Ford Health declined to comment on the birth center’s opening, but a spokesperson shared the letter of support that Adnan Munkarah, Henry Ford Health’s president of care delivery system and chief clinical officer, and D’Angela Pitts, director of maternal infant health equity, wrote for the center to its board of directors in August 2023.

“We support and actively participate in initiatives that raise awareness and address the root causes of racial and ethnic disparities surrounding pregnancy through social justice, systems change, and equipping our community with resources,” Pitts and Munkarah said in the letter. “We at Henry Ford Health understand that there is a need for improved care related to maternal social and racial inequities in the community and hope that the opening of the Birth Detroit birthing center will make strides in addressing those needs.”

The rise of birth centers

Other birth centers are emerging across the country amid a nationwide conversation about Black maternal and infant health. As of January 2022, there were 400 birth centers in 40 states, up from 124 in 1984, according to the American Association for Birth Centers.

In the United States, the Black maternal deaths across the country outpace those of other wealthy countries. The U.S. maternal death rate in 2022 was about 22 birthing people per 100,000 births, exceeding other high-income nations. The maternal death rate for Black women was the highest in the United States, according to a Commonwealth Fund study.

In Michigan, the Black infant mortality rate has declined over the past five decades, but Black babies in the state are still more likely to die than white babies. Between 1970 and 2022, the state’s disparity in Black and white infant mortality rates peaked in 1972 when roughly 32 Black infants died, compared to 16 white infants per 1,000 births that year. In 2022, 13 Black babies died per 1,000 births, higher than about just over four white infant deaths per 1,000 deaths, according to the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

In Detroit’s Wayne County, the Black infant mortality rate was roughly 16 per 1,000 deaths between 2020 and 2022, more than double the death rate of white infants per 1,000 births in that same period, according to the HHS figures.

Detroit and its surrounding metro area are filled with renowned hospitals and medical facilities. Still, traditional medical systems generally are large and may not have the capacity to check in with families along their pregnancy journey. By contrast, birth center care allows families to get more frequent check-ins and possibly spot potential risks along the way, Geffrard said.

As awareness about the U.S. maternal death rate grows, the rise of birth centers could partially be attributed to the realization that the maternal death problem is “affecting all of us,” Geffrard said.

“Systems are also being put to task because of preventable deaths happening in systems,” she said. “But we still have a long way to go, and birth centers are just a part, a major part in shifting those outcomes and ultimately those narratives.”

The post ‘It’s Never Been Done:’ Black-led Birthing Center to Serve Detroit appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, a floating abortion clinic sailed in to save the day, providing care in federal waters.

At least, that’s what one man wanted people to believe.

Unfortunately, his hamfisted and awkwardly named operation, Abort Offshore, was most likely a hoax that never produced anything even resembling a floating clinic. But this was not the only pie-in-the-sky plan to innovate abortion care post-Dobbs.

In the first few months after the overturn of Roe v. Wade in 2022, unusual ideas to help people access in-person abortion care captured outsized media attention, thanks, perhaps, to the opportunity they provided for an uplifting spin on a deluge of tragic news. But these ideas ranged from ambitious to completely outlandish, and many never got off the ground.

More than two years later, are people really accessing abortion by boat, mobile clinic, or private plane? Rewire News Group revisits the bold abortion care ideas that worked out—and the ones that fell apart.

The (probably) fake boat

In one of the most bizarre stories from the immediate Dobbs aftermath, a man named Michael Kimbro launched an organization called Abort Offshore and claimed—only about a month after the Dobbs decision—that he had already provided 34 procedural abortions on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico. Less than a month later, he said that number had grown to more than 100, and at other times put the figure at 188 or 242.

Kimbro has no medical background, and even acknowledged in an interview with Austin news station KXAN that he “should not be running any medical facility.” According to Texas licensing records, Kimbro’s wife is a registered nurse, but her level of involvement with the scheme is unclear.

In an interview with Jezebel, Kimbro claimed to have two licensed doctors working for him. But when the Louisiana Illuminator asked for the doctors’ names to verify their licenses, Kimbro declined. He did connect Jezebel with two women who claimed to have been Abort Offshore patients, but their identities couldn’t be verified either. His answers about the clinic’s emergency protocols also left much to be desired.

If all that weren’t suspicious enough, it appears the venture may have been an attempt to sell some kind of docuseries. Kimbro’s IMDb page credits him as the series producer of Abort Offshore, described as “a story about a mysterious abortion boat in federal waters off the coast of Texas within weeks of overturning Roe v. Wade. The series explores its owner’s outrageous Machiavellian maneuvers to restore women’s reproductive rights.”

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The IMDb page also lists him as a producer on the documentary film Reversing Roe. However, Kimbro’s name does not appear in the credits, and the film’s actual producers confirmed to RNG that he had no involvement in the project. An archived version of the page from 2022 shows Kimbro was also previously listed as a producer on The Janes, another abortion-related documentary. His name doesn’t appear in the credits of that film, either.

This apparent grift would seem to fit in with Kimbro’s past, which includes a string of arrests and civil lawsuits related to fraud. At least two Facebook pages are run by people who say they were scammed by Kimbro’s previous business ventures, a string of furniture companies.

Per the Internet Archive, the Abort Offshore website disappeared sometime in 2023. It briefly redirected to the Texas Right to Life website and now simply doesn’t load.

Kimbro is one of several people who activist anti-abortion attorney Jonathan Mitchell has sought—unsuccessfully—to depose in order to determine whether they violated S.B. 8, the bounty hunter-style six-week abortion ban. Kimbro’s antics also inspired Texas Rep. Randy Weber to introduce the Ban Offshore Abortion Tourism Act in 2023, but the bill was never acted upon in committee.

RNG was not able to contact Kimbro for comment.

The (potentially) real boat

Casting even more doubt on the idea that Kimbro ever had a functional floating clinic is the work of Dr. Meg Autry, an OB-GYN and professor at the University of California, San Francisco.

As an actual abortion provider and medical educator, Autry knows what’s required to safely run a clinic. And she began working on the idea of a floating clinic long before the 2022 Dobbs decision. Autry’s planning goes back at least as far as 2019, she said, and her organization, PRROWESS, became a 501(c)(3) nonprofit in 2020.

Autry began consulting with maritime experts and lawyers to figure out how to provide abortion procedures up to 16 weeks on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico. Her proposed clinic would also provide contraception, STI testing, and potentially even vaccinations.

Planning accelerated following the Dobbs leak, and once the decision was finalized, “we had unprecedented attention both from the media and from foundations,” Autry said.

But there was a problem: “We are just too high-risk for foundations,” Autry said. PRROWESS’ projected cost to buy and retrofit an appropriate vessel is $10 million. And foundations weren’t willing to invest so much in a novel plan that might not work out. However, they were willing to fund operating costs. In other words: Get your boat, and then we’ll get you the money.

So to become a reality, PRROWESS would need a very wealthy person (or people) willing to fund a risky project.

According to Autry, capital is the only obstacle. Given the money, PRROWESS could be ready to launch in six months.

Autry is also waiting to see what happens in the November election to decide whether or not it makes sense to keep pressing forward. If at any point her organization folds, she plans to donate all funds raised—just under $300,000 so far—to abortion funds in the Gulf states.

Abortion on the road

\"Bus — *Courtesy of Planned Parenthood Great Rivers*

Only months after the Dobbs decision, I reported for Cosmopolitan on Abortion Delivered, an initiative from Just the Pill to bring mobile clinics to Colorado.

As the name suggests, Just the Pill got its start as a provider of medication abortion only. When FDA regulations still required in-person dispensing of mifepristone, Just the Pill distributed the medication via vans that drove around its home state of Minnesota.

With Dobbs on the horizon, Just the Pill began planning a fleet of mobile clinics that could provide both pills and procedures. The idea was that the clinics would stay in legal states, but would be able to drive right up to the borders of ban states, shortening the distance patients needed to travel.

When I profiled the organization in 2022, Just the Pill already had a mobile clinic dispensing abortion pills on the ground in Colorado. A second van outfitted to provide first trimester procedures was preparing to come online, and a larger mobile clinic containing two procedure rooms and a waiting room was on the way to allow the providers to see more patients each day and make it possible to provide second trimester procedures.

However, Just the Pill Medical Director Dr. Julie Amaon told RNG that after being in use for about a year and a half, the mobile clinics have now been sidelined in favor of pop-up clinics.

“What we found is that working with community partners and spreading the love around, so to speak, moving around to different parts of the state to be able to provide services in different areas, worked just as well as using the mobile clinics,” she said.

One of the big hurdles for mobile clinics is parking.

“We’ve talked to a bunch of community partners that have been willing to have our medication mobile van, but anytime you start talking about a medical procedure, and medical waste, and the possibility of protesters, that increases your risk for your community partners as well,” Amaon said.

However, Just the Pill has always cited Plan A—an organization that provides a wide range of health services in mobile clinics in the Mississippi Delta—as a major inspiration. Just the Pill’s vision for the future has always included other services, like IUD and contraceptive implant insertions, Pap tests, and breast exams. Amaon still expects the mobile clinics to be useful in the future both for these types of services and for abortion care, once they can work out the kinks.

Amaon is in it for the long game.

“It took 50 years to dismantle Roe,” she said. Even in the event of a political victory, “it’s going to take us 25 years at least, maybe 50, to get back to where we are providing abortion care in your home state, in your hometown, with your primary care provider.”

Similarly, Planned Parenthood Great Rivers, formerly Planned Parenthood of the St. Louis Region and Southwest Missouri, launched a mobile clinic soon after the fall of Roe, but a spokesperson said it wasn’t used for abortion care as much as expected, in part due to the number of new clinics that opened up in Southern Illinois. However, the clinic remains useful for other procedures, including vasectomies, as recently demonstrated at the Democratic National Convention.

The one idea that took off

According to the Guttmacher Institute, nearly 1 in 5 U.S. abortion patients now travel out of state for care. And each new ban that goes into effect forces patients to travel farther. This means that more people are traveling by air, and thanks to a nonprofit called Elevated Access and its group of volunteer pilots, some of them are being flown on small, private planes at no cost.

According to Mike Bonanza, Elevated Access’ founder and executive director, most Americans live within 30 miles of a small airport. In the aviation industry, there was an existing practice of “angel flights,” where volunteer pilots would provide free help in situations ranging from domestic violence to natural disasters to accessing specialized health care.

Bonanza had been working on the idea of creating a volunteer pilot network to connect people with abortion care since Texas SB 8 went into effect in 2021. The organization launched a few months prior to Dobbs, and following the decision, interest from pilots exploded.

Elevated Access now helps clients obtain abortions and gender-affirming care. According to Bonanza, its pilots have flown over 1,600 people on more than 1,000 flights since 2022.

Pilots go through an extensive background check and vetting process. They provide their own aircraft and pay for all costs associated with the flight, including maintenance and fuel. Most of the planes are very small, with just four seats.

Bonanza worked closely with existing practical support organizations to make sure Elevated Access delivered services in a way that made sense. Partner organizations triage requests and generally send patients to Elevated Access when it isn’t possible to book commercial flights or other forms of travel.

Alison Dreith, director of strategic partnerships at Midwest Access Coalition, Elevated Access’ founding partner organization, said volunteer flights aren’t her first choice, but they are helpful when other options fall through. They’re also game-changing for those living in very rural areas, where commercial flights can either be inaccessible, extremely expensive, or require a level of triangulation that adds significant time to the trip—time that patients who are already missing work or lacking child care don’t necessarily have.

“It’s really rural people where, oh my gosh, we can’t even get them to the next village,” she said. “Where we can’t get a volunteer, we can’t get an Amtrak, we can’t get a Greyhound to pick these people up.”

A small plane flying from one small airfield to another can often fly a much more direct route than commercial options would allow, Bonanza said.

“Many of the people we transport have never flown before,” he added. In what may already be a stressful time, “imagine how intimidating and stressful it would be to try to navigate airline travel as a brand new person that’s never done it before. TSA is yelling at you to take off your shoes, and you’re like, ‘Why do I have to take off my shoes?’”

Of 1,500 pilots who expressed interest, Bonanza said 600 went through the Elevated Access application process, and 400 have been fully vetted to ensure not just their qualifications, but their full support for abortion access and gender-affirming care.

“I’m just so thankful that things like this can exist and hopeful that we can keep on innovating,” Dreith said. “It takes us all to put our heads together and share ideas and to build off those things.”

For now, it seems the most important intervention to help people access in-person abortion care was the most predictable one: financial and practical support for travel.

The post What Ever Happened to All the Abortion Boats? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Five years ago, national social justice groups arrived in Mississippi after federal immigration officials arrested 680 workers at seven food processing plants. Fresh from the airport, some sought to usurp Mississippi advocates’ coordination of the response to the largest U.S. immigration raids in recent U.S. history. They pushed aside respected local community organizers and other leaders who had extensive community roots and a deep understanding of their neighbors’ needs. One veteran local organizer told us that a national organizer went so far as to demand that she get out of the way and follow his lead.

As a community lawyer at the Mississippi Center for Justice, I spent the months after the immigration raids helping impacted families access Medicaid and other public benefits and watching those dynamics unfold. While not a Southern native, I called the region home for most of my 20s, working with and learning from fierce, technically expert, and visionary Southerners.

Along the way, I interacted with national advocates who were intentional and supportive partners, and those whose actions reflected the problematic and all-too-common view that they must “save the South from itself.” I learned that being a good partner to Southern advocates requires asking what they need to advance their vision and operating accordingly.

Since leaving Mississippi to join the National Health Law Program (NHeLP), I have continued to witness harmful power dynamics. For example, since the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, some national groups have more forcefully sought to impose their goals and strategies on their Southern sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice peers. These groups have failed to recognize that the people closest to the problems are often closest to the solutions. They have missed opportunities to learn and provide meaningful support.

Regardless of intent, it seems that baseless beliefs that Southern advocates aren’t knowledgeable, resourceful, or strategic are often at the root of these behaviors.

We must ask our Southern peers how we can better leverage our resources and power to help advance their vision instead of making assumptions, listen deeply, and follow through.

These same dynamics show up when national advocates make disparaging, monolithic comments about the South. I’ve heard some say that the South is backward—that it deserves what it gets after Dobbs. Others urge Southern partners to come to them for a meeting, wishing to avoid travel to the unsavory locations of the injustices they claim to want to solve.

These sentiments erase the generations of Southerners who launched and were at the forefront of U.S. civil rights, health justice, and other social justice movement organizing and innovation. They bypass the Black, Indigenous, and other people of color, disabled and LGBTQI+ people, immigrant families, and other Southerners fighting to survive amid a sea of social injustices. They overlook the millions who are desperate for Medicaid expansion; sexual, reproductive, and gender-affirming health-care access; and representation in government. It’s no wonder they undermine our Southern peers’ trust.

To be sure, the South is a locus of many social injustices, from reproductive and gender oppression to voter suppression. But these injustices persist not because Southern social justice advocates are incapable or need redirection—inadequate resources to support Southern legal, policy, and political advocacy and organizing play a major part.

When national advocates undercut, fail to truly listen to, or otherwise disempower our Southern partners, we make matters worse.

While any national advocates working with Southern partners will likely make missteps, some recognize that we have much to learn from them and are committed to upending damaging power dynamics. Just months after I joined NHeLP in early 2020, a colleague at Mississippi-based Converge: Partners in Access raised the need for a network of Southern advocates fighting to foster sexual and reproductive health, rights, and justice in Medicaid. For over 55 years, NHeLP has strived to build partnerships rooted in trust and mutual respect that further our state partners’ priorities, including through our longstanding Health Law Partnerships, so our leadership was immediately supportive of the idea. That summer, we held listening sessions with Southern partners to better understand their needs.

Today, our multi-movement coalition—guided by our steering council, Birth in Color: RVA, Converge, the Kentucky Equal Justice Center, the Mississippi Center for Justice, and the Yellowhammer Fund—represents more than 30 organizations across 13 Southern states. In this generative space, Southern advocates share and workshop winning strategies to close sexual and reproductive health coverage gaps in Medicaid; fight discrimination; and defend against attacks on access to care. For our part, NHeLP has provided legal technical assistance, coordinated strategy summits, and since last year, delivered pass-through funding to help further the advocacy priorities our Southern partners identify.

As national social justice advocates, we must ask our Southern peers how we can better leverage our resources and power to help advance their vision instead of making assumptions, listen deeply, and follow through.

After all, as the legendary civil rights movement leader and Mississippian Fannie Lou Hamer said, “nobody’s free until everybody’s free” and “it’s time for America to get right.”

The post Why We Need to Let Southern Social Justice Activists Lead appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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It was only a matter of time before a story like Amber Nicole Thurman’s emerged: A woman dying because she could not access life-saving abortion thanks to Georgia’s extreme abortion ban.

The details around Thurman’s death as reported this week by ProPublica are so agonizing because her death was so preventable, and her story looks so familiar to abortion advocates. Thurman, 28, was a Black woman who, like many patients who access abortion care, was already a parent. Thurman sought out abortion care because she wanted to be able to provide for the 6-year-old she already had. Her last words to her own mother before she died were reportedly, “Promise me you’ll take care of my son.”

It cannot be said enough: Amber Thurman’s death was preventable.

Thurman deserved so much better than to be caught in the tug of war of legal challenges around Georgia’s six-week ban. She should not have been forced to travel to North Carolina for care. And she shouldn’t have died in a Georgia hospital waiting for a life-saving dilation and curettage while administrators, lawyers, and doctors weighed their own professional interests against Thurman’s deteriorating medical condition. At nearly every turn, the institutions that should have supported and protected Thurman and her young son instead failed her.

Thurman may be the first reported person since Roe v. Wade was overturned whose death was directly caused by a state abortion ban, but hers isn’t the only one. ProPublica uncovered at least one other death related to the denial of abortion care in Georgia alone. And with each new death that’s reported, it’s imperative that the media report that every single one was not just preventable, but also an intentional act of state violence targeting pregnant people.

The post Amber Nicole Thurman’s Death Was Preventable appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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11 healthy Ways to earn respect in relationships

Respect is a basic part of a relationship. You can give affection, money, and anything else, but the most basic need from your partner when you get home is a little respect. One of the most important things to have in a relationship, besides love, is mutual respect for one another. You can’t claim to love someone without showing them any respect.

Respect is the secret ingredient that makes love, trust, and growing together possible. It’s something you can’t always see, but it’s there in every kind word, every supportive action, and how we stand by each other through thick and thin.

Learning to give and earn respect in relationships is a key part of any strong relationship, showing that we care about each other’s feelings, dreams, and personal space. It’s about treating our partners like we would want to be treated ourselves, building a love that can last through anything.

What does respect look like in a healthy relationship?

Respect in a healthy relationship manifests in various forms, all contributing to a nurturing and supportive environment. It means acknowledging your partner’s feelings, thoughts and needs as valid and vital.

Previous studies found that feelings of understanding and appreciation in romantic relationships originate from various sources, such as the partner, the individual, and shared experiences within the relationship. These feelings are influenced by general perceptions of each other and specific behaviors, thoughts, and emotions shared in moments together

Communication without contempt, listening with the intent to understand rather than to reply, and maintaining boundaries are all key indicators of building respect in a relationship. Furthermore, it involves the appreciation of differences, supporting each other’s growth, and handling conflicts constructively.

In essence, earning admiration in a relationship is about treating your partner with kindness, consideration, and dignity, akin to how one would treat a valued friend.

11 healthy Ways to earn respect in relationships

Earning respect in relationships is fundamental to building a deep, lasting connection with your partner. It’s about building a foundation where both individuals feel valued, heard, and supported.

Here are 11 ways to earn respect in relationships, each essential for nurturing a bond filled with mutual admiration and understanding.

1. Communicate openly and with empathy

Open and empathetic communication is key to understanding and addressing each other’s needs, making it one of the most effective ways to gain respect from your partner.

According to researchers, effective communication is essential for successful relationships, with nine key skills identified by experts for discussing critical issues like time management, finances, health, and intimacy. Mastering these skills can significantly improve the trajectory of a relationship, ensuring its growth and longevity.

By actively listening and responding with kindness and understanding, you signal that their thoughts and feelings matter. This approach not only helps resolve conflicts more effectively but also deepens your emotional connection, making each partner feel valued and respected.

2. Always be mindful of keeping a balance

Be generous with love but do not put up with bad behavior. If you’re constantly putting up with your partner’s bad behavior, the relationship will deplete you. You need to make sure that you stand up for yourself and your needs and tell them what they need to do differently. This will help you gain their respect.

3. Avoid Sharp or Biting Humor

Even though relationships can be serious at times, they should also be fun! But, we shouldn’t have fun at our partner’s expense. Remember to keep the jokes light and respectful. You don’t want to push the envelope and end up in a week-long fight. Laughing isn’t more important than respecting your partner.

4. Respect personal boundaries

Respecting boundaries in a relationship is crucial for maintaining a healthy dynamic. Understanding and honoring your partner’s limits—whether they pertain to personal space, time alone, or emotional boundaries—shows respect for their needs and contributes to a trusting, respectful relationship.

5. Know yourself and your needs

When you know your good side and you know you’re not so good at something, you will understand how others see you. If you know what you want out of life, you’ll find ways to get those things. So, learn to identify your strengths and weaknesses and use these to your advantage. This will help you attract respect in a relationship.

6. Be Compassionate

Showing compassion when your partner is having a hard time can make all the difference in how they get through their tough times. Showing compassion lets your partner feel your concern for them. It can also determine if your partner feels like they can come to you with any concerns they may have. If they can’t experience compassion with you, they may seek advice and compassion elsewhere.

7. Engage in mutual activities

Sharing experiences and engaging in activities together can help establish mutual respect in a relationship. It’s an opportunity to learn from each other, create lasting memories, and show appreciation for your partner’s interests and hobbies.

8. Seek help from family

You should seek help from family members if things are unmanageable and you know that you’re being disrespected. It doesn’t matter whether you’re married or living together; know that you always have support from your loved ones and you can rely on them in times of need. Talking to them will help you regain confidence and respect in a relationship.

9. Acknowledge Their Contributions

Every so often, it’s great to acknowledge what your partner has contributed to the relationship. It could be something as simple as thanking them for taking on more responsibilities at home when you were having a hard time. It could even mean acknowledging how understanding and compassionate your partner has been lately. Letting them know that their effort isn’t going unnoticed is a great way of showing your partner respect.

10. Apologize Promptly

I know it’s hard to admit when you’re wrong, but when you do, an apology should be next on your to-do list. Sometimes we do things and don’t realize how much it can hurt or offend our partners. What I think is a joke, could ruin my partner’s entire day. You have to understand that your feelings are the only ones that matter. If your partner expresses that you’ve made them feel uneasy, then an apology is needed.

11. Be a reliable partner

Consistency and reliability are essential to earn respect in relationships. Being someone your partner can count on, through both good times and bad, shows that you value and respect the partnership.

", "keywords": ", healthy, Ways, earn, respect, relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "98", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_v1OiaYysEGdRvpBUbcamkgzpMKrGSUyayYlq965ukaQ99OZ9SX2UojUDTVldDiFr5jVtQTZPfmlcToftI6bPfwwuCOp9IOCt4rVEw6yZDdHQUupZRFicS71vLikaf0CJxDAqSMCDSw6Dwp6cNy0Qy_LcceCTbWq-zGlnjCookPl_DDwlOBdiTTP6Xwc2gxjjEWrPELQGDWitA3kQ7VGu14V3-1gT6UIA94zjfz4tWaIGCvLuTaoqlfNtgkegm-166LYEUjoka19efjTP6F4OSo7Kk3yEledvnLR1c9_bhmtLLJbeOtHcBgOWh_uGk=w1600", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2024/09/11-healthy-ways-to-earn-respect-in.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-22 11:04:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64897", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Lucrative Online Side Hustles to Boost Your Income", "title_slug": "10-lucrative-online-side-hustles-to-boost-your-income", "title_hash": "0629ab4fa688d0b4cfa0d9a32a84be99", "summary": "10 Lucrative Online Side Hustles to Boost Your Income Discover the top 10 online side hustles to make extra money from home. Start earning today with flexible, low-cost opportunities.In today's fast-paced world, having an additional source of income has become essential for many people. Whether you're looking to pay off debt, save for a vacation, or simply earn extra cash, side hustles offer the flexibility and opportunity to boost your income. The best part? Many of these side hustles can be done entirely online, allowing you to work from the comfort of your home. In this article, we’ll explore ten lucrative online side hustles that can help you start making extra money right away.Why Online Side Hustles MatterThe gig economy is on the rise, and with it comes the opportunity for anyone with an internet connection to earn extra income. Online side hustles offer significant benefits such as:Flexibility: You can work from anywhere, set your own hours, and choose projects that fit your sk", "content": "

10 Lucrative Online Side Hustles to Boost Your Income

Discover the top 10 online side hustles to make extra money from home. Start earning today with flexible, low-cost opportunities.

$\"10$

In today's fast-paced world, having an additional source of income has become essential for many people. Whether you're looking to pay off debt, save for a vacation, or simply earn extra cash, side hustles offer the flexibility and opportunity to boost your income. The best part? Many of these side hustles can be done entirely online, allowing you to work from the comfort of your home. In this article, we’ll explore ten lucrative online side hustles that can help you start making extra money right away.

Why Online Side Hustles Matter

The gig economy is on the rise, and with it comes the opportunity for anyone with an internet connection to earn extra income. Online side hustles offer significant benefits such as:

Flexibility: You can work from anywhere, set your own hours, and choose projects that fit your skills and interests.
Low startup costs : Many online side hustles require little to no upfront investment.
Skill development gain: new skills or refine existing ones while making money.

Online side hustles are an excellent way to supplement your income without committing to a traditional 9-to-5 job. They also provide a safety net during uncertain economic times.

Top 10 Online Side Hustles

1. Virtual Assistance

$\"10$

Virtual assistants provide administrative, technical, or creative assistance to clients remotely. Tasks may include email management, scheduling, and social media management.

Pay potential: $15–$40/hour

Resources: [Upwork](https://www.upwork.com), [Fiverr](https://www.fiverr.com)

2. Online Tutoring

$\"10$ Online tutors help students with academic subjects, test preparation, or learning new skills like coding or languages.

Pay potential:$20–$60/hour

Resources: [TutorMe](https://www.tutorme.com), [Chegg](https://www.chegg.com)

also read 18 Best Apps To Make Money: A Quick Guide (2024

3. Freelance Writing

$\"10$

Freelance writers create content for blogs, websites, or magazines. Niches range from travel writing to technical documentation.

Pay potential: $0.10–$1.00/word

Resources: [Medium](https://www.medium.com), [Freelance Writing Jobs](https://www.freelancewriting.com)

4. Social Media Management

$\"10$

Manage social media accounts for businesses or influencers, create content, schedule posts, and engage with followers.

Pay potential: $15–$50/hour
Resources: [Hootsuite](https://www.hootsuite.com), [Buffer](https://buffer.com)

5. Online Surveys

$\"10$

Completing online surveys is one of the easiest ways to make money online. Though the pay is modest, it's flexible and requires no experience.

Pay potential: $1–$5 per survey
Resources: [Swagbucks](https://www.swagbucks.com), [Survey Junkie](https://www.surveyjunkie.com)

6. Affiliate Marketing

$\"10$

Promote products or services online and earn a commission for every sale made through your referral links.

Pay potential: $100–$10,000+/month, depending on traffic and sales

Resources: [Amazon Associates](https://affiliate-program.amazon.com), [Commission Junction](https://www.cj.com)

7. Selling Products Online

$\"10$

Sell handmade goods, vintage items, or resell products online through platforms like Etsy and eBay.

Pay potential: Varies based on sales volume
Resources: [Etsy](https://www.etsy.com), [eBay](https://www.ebay.com)

8. Dropshipping

$\"10$

Run an online store without holding inventory. When a customer places an order, the product is shipped directly from the supplier to the customer.

Pay potential: $200–$2,000/month
Resources: [Shopify](https://www.shopify.com), [Oberlo](https://www.oberlo.com)

9. Online Coaching

$\"10$

Offer coaching services in areas like career development, fitness, or business consulting. Coaches provide personalized guidance to clients.

Pay potential: $50–$300/session
Resources: [Coach.me](https://www.coach.me

10. Blogging

$\"10$

Start a blog on topics you're passionate about and monetize it through ads, affiliate marketing, or sponsored posts.

Pay potential: $200–$10,000+/month, depending on traffic and monetization strategy
Resources [WordPress](https://www.wordpress.com), [Blogger](https://www.blogger.com)

Conclusion

These ten online side hustles provide excellent opportunities for anyone looking to make extra money from home. Whether you're interested in freelancing, selling products, or sharing your expertise through coaching, there's a side hustle for everyone. The key is to choose one that aligns with your skills and interests and to take the first step. Start exploring these options today, and you might find that your side hustle turns into a thriving business.

", "keywords": ", Lucrative, Online, Side, Hustles, Boost, Your, Income", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com/docsz/AD_4nXcKlXkUjnPeJltQ4E29V_kWxtrv83KZ0vZve4bXtWrFG4VTeZG4kNGAxfbl0gSns96me0yzoMH19BdzfBhhvpWnh8QUKwXjCkaqFFnw1Ae7FKEImtbaTh29y4MQI7pWq_mj9KB2G0oqUWCAKTKWi0wGPQM=w1600?key=9dYoa8GlUaIbhVbKGktHwQ", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2024/09/10-lucrative-online-side-hustles-to.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-22 11:04:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64605", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Ease the Transition Back to School", "title_slug": "how-to-ease-the-transition-back-to-school", "title_hash": "81622753e2d58665b643535a896431f3", "summary": "Learn 5 research-backed tips to ease your child's transition back to school. With these simple steps you can teach and connect with your child on a new level.\nThe post How to Ease the Transition Back to School appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Learn 5 research-backed tips to ease your child's transition back to school. With these simple steps you can teach and connect with your child on a new level.

The post How to Ease the Transition Back to School appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Ease, the, Transition, Back, School", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/GettyImages-1808604915-1024x683.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-ease-the-transition-back-to-school/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-10 08:09:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64604", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story : My Younger Brother Is About To Make A Foolish Mistake-Pls Advise", "title_slug": "true-life-story-my-younger-brother-is-about-to-make-a-foolish-mistake-pls-advise", "title_hash": "084fb221507190b57c1b52a022743756", "summary": "True Life Story : My Younger Brother Is About To Make A Foolish Mistake-Pls Advise Hello Lively Stones, This must be the craziest thing that has ever happened to me. My brother is about to make a foolish mistake. I am confused and I need to vent. My younger brother and my best friend are […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story : My Younger Brother Is About To Make A Foolish Mistake-Pls Advise

Hello Lively Stones,

This must be the craziest thing that has ever happened to me. My brother is about to make a foolish mistake. I am confused and I need to vent. My younger brother and my best friend are mad. I am sure they want to destroy our family. My mum especially who has been a single mother for almost 10 years since our dad died. Things have been difficult for us growing up but our home has never lacked the love and care of our mom.

Never miss a story — subscribe to Lively Stones Relationship Blog PUSH NOTIFICATION for daily Post to stay up-to-date on the best of what LIVELY STONES has to offer, from juicy celebrity relationship news, romantic articles to compelling true life stories

Olanma (not real name) and I met in year one in University and became very good friends. Ola is is from a very wealthy but divorced family. Her parents had a nasty divorce and she lives with her dad with her siblings. Ola preferred to come spend holidays with me with my small family cos my mom made sure we had a loving environment. When Ola first came to our house, my younger brother just finished his JAMB and was waiting to get into Uni.

By the time we graduated, my brother was still in school. Three years after graduation, I got married and Ola was my bridesmaid. It was so joyful that Ola got engaged a year later and I of course became the bridesmaid cos we are besties. My brother graduated last year and already works in a good paying company. What I never knew was that Ola and my brother liked each other and they were hooking up behind my back because Ola was afraid that their relationship will not be accepted because she is older than my brother.

I planned Ola’s bridal shower and it was a beautiful party. After the party, the next day, very early in the morning, my brother came to my house and said he wanted to talk to me. He was very disorganized. I was worried when he showed up at my door by 7am. What is wrong? This boy asked me to sit down that he has something to tell me. I became scared…I thought something was wrong with mom so I shouted at him to tell me what was wrong.

My brother confessed that him and Ola have been hooking up for a while….like six months and yet she wants to go ahead to marry someone else. My brother is in love with Ola and she has been telling him he is too young for her and besides she is engaged but this chick went to my brother’s place after her bridal shower last night and spent the night with him. My brother decided he needed to spill the secret because he cannot let her marry someone else.

After hearing this, I thought my brother was pranking me. But I called Ola and she told me she would come over. When she came, Ola started crying. Saying she loves my brother but she has to marry her fiance cos her father would never let her marry my brother cos he is younger and he is not rich like her fiance. She said she already told her father about my brother but he told her to forget about him and focus on a man who would guarantee a better future.

This same father that divorced his wife is advising his daughter to marry someone she does not love just because of money? My brother is emotionally upset. The yeye boy is in love. He and Ola are planning to run away and get married without parental consent. So, they just want me to know that they will be running away in a few days. You see, this is completely unbelievable. It will probably k#ll my mother. Plus, how do I explain to Ola’s father that his daughter ran away with my younger brother who just started life?

These people have put me under pressure, not to reveal to anyone what they are up to but I am sorry…I do not think this is right so I have told them to man up and face Ola’s dad or forget about each other. They refuse and they want to go ahead with their childish plan. Ola’s wedding is supposed to be this Friday and Saturday. But she wants to run away with my brother because they have been f#cking for about six months. I told her to run away alone and leave my brother but my yeye brother, just barely 26 years old, is doing lover boy saying he must follow her.

Follow her to where? They said London. They have started processing visa for my brother. They will first run to Ghana and when his visa is ready, they will then go to London together. This is not fairy tale….these people need to wake up to reality. I don’t know why my brother cant see that this is a bad idea and I don’t know what to do. Please this is urgent….should I tell my mother or what? The only person who cant talk to my brother is my mom but he is begging me not to tell her.

More From Lively Stones

What should I do? Should I not tell my mom or should I tell her? I am also upset with my friend that she has been sleeping with my younger brother behind my back. And my brother sleeping with someone’s wife to be. God, my father must be rolling in his grave right now. Is this not an abomination? How will they build a life together on a wrong foundation? Why are these two people not thinking properly? In this day and age, how can two people run away, to marry, in this economy?

This boy is not even thinking of our mother. How will she take it? That her son is running away with a woman? I need your quick advise please before I call area boys to beat some sense into this boy.

Anonymous

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True Life Story : Mother Who Abandoned Her Children Now Wants To Come Back

Dear all,

I need your advise. My mom is trying to divide my home. When I was 9 years old, my mom abandoned my dad with us and married someone else. My dad loved my mom so much that he refused to get married for almost 2 years. He met my step mom who was very loving and very kind to me and my younger sister. She took us as her own and even did better than our mom. Our mother abandoned us for several years but step mom was the best.

Few years ago, we learnt my mom divorced her husband and was now single. After 10 years of abandoning us, my mom started trying to get back in our lives. I was very hurt and did not want anything to do with her, only my younger sister was trying to give her a second chance. Now, I am in my 300 level in university. My mother has been asking me to come and spend sometime with her so grudgingly, myself and my sister decided to spend some time with her.

Our dad drove us to her city and I expected him to go back same day or stay in a hotel, instead, he stayed with us in my mom’s house that day until it was late. I was wondering what this man was about to do. Surprisingly, my dad stayed back in my mom’s house that night. I was upset and asked my dad the next morning, why he did that. He is married to my step mom who is a kind and loving soul, why would you spend the night with your ex?

My dad explained that his love for my mother would never go away even though she left him for another man for 10 whole years. My dad left in the morning but you need to see the way my mom was all over him, kissing and hugging him. I was disgusted. But my younger sister was happy cos she always prayed for my parents to reconcile. My mother has a son with her ex and the boy is with the father. Typical, she always leave her children with their fathers. I am very upset that I could not stay the vacation with my mother. We had so many arguments. I told her she was selfish and reckless.

Why would she abandon us for 10 years? Why would she come back now to destroy my step mom’s marriage? My mom is upset that I am supposed to be happy she is coming back to my dad instead I am taking my step mom’s side. My mom called me a bad girl and a witch. I started crying and told her I want to go back to my dad’s place. I did not enjoy my stay there at all. I eventually cut the trip short and went back home. Coming back, I have refused to speak to my dad.

More From Lively Stones

I cannot bear the fact that he cheated on step mom. My dad says I am a child, that I will not understand. I am 19 years old. I darn well understand. My mom is using my dad’s feelings to take advantage of him. And my dad is blinded by his feelings to hurt my step mom who has no idea what is happening behind her back. I am so upset, should I tell my step mom or let her find out herself? I love my step mom so much, she is better than my mom 1,000 times.

The fact that I love my step mom more than my mom, does that make me a bad daughter? Am I being disloyal to my mom? Should I tell my step mom? I am not happy, I wish my mom would disappear from where she came from. I dont want her…I dont need her…she was never there when I needed her….how can she just come back and try to scatter the home that was my peace for the last 10 years? Why are men so gullible….why is my dad cheating on such a good woman?

I need answers and advise….please make it make sense for me…I feel so much anger and rage and h@tred for my mom right now. Does that make me a witch like my mom said? What do I do please?

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story, Mother, Who, Abandoned, Her, Children, Now, Wants, Come, Back", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/my-mom-abandoned-me.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-mother-who-abandoned-her-children-now-wants-to-come-back/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-10 08:09:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64602", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story : I Prayed & Wished For A Marriage Like My Parents But I See What I Got", "title_slug": "true-life-story-i-prayed-wished-for-a-marriage-like-my-parents-but-i-see-what-i-got", "title_hash": "77f4e5664438931e1495c016d974152c", "summary": "True Life Story : I Prayed & Wished For A Marriage Like My Parents But I See What I Got Hello Lively Stones, Mine is a short story but I need your advise. I am someone who believes in the sanctity of marriage. My parents have been married for over 35 years. I always prayed […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story : I Prayed & Wished For A Marriage Like My Parents But I See What I Got

Hello Lively Stones,

Mine is a short story but I need your advise. I am someone who believes in the sanctity of marriage. My parents have been married for over 35 years. I always prayed to meet someone like my dad, cos he is the definition of husband material. My mother truly is a blessed woman. However, since I became an adult, I have been unlucky in love. I started dating in my university but the guy was playing with my heart.

I stayed away from relationship for a while until I met a guy that I thought was the one. He was good for almost two years, I thought he was the one but eventually everything went south. I have stayed single ever since. I was determined to be celibate until I meet the one God has for me. I celebrated my 30th birthday as a single girl. It hurt but I was determined that God will do it for me.

I joined a whatsapp group eight months ago, the group is all about Christian dating and all that. I noticed one guy from the group always watching my status. One day, he said hi in my dm and we started chatting. We chatted for months. He told me everything about himself and I told him everything too. He told me he was divorced but looking for a good Christian woman to marry cos he does not want to make same mistakes like his first marriage.

What he told me was that his first wife was a lesbian and he caught her with another woman in their home. So, he wants to be sure before he marries someone else. After almost 4 months of online dating, we met for the first time. I was awestruck cos not only was he handsome, he was rich. He sent his driver to pick me up. Took me to fancy restaurants. I was treated like a queen. He gave me money too.

Another two months later, he proposed. I was over the moon. The only problem was, he had not met my family physically but they have spoken on the phone. He said his own family lived in South Africa and they will meet me after our traditional wedding in Naija cos the white wedding will be in SA. We started planning traditional wedding. We were to travel to my place for it, so he asked me to come to his place, to spend the night and next month, we both take a very early morning flight to Enugu.

That night, I saw a different man. He wanted s3x and I told him no. He said he was horny and he wanted to test to make sure I was not a lesbian. All these made me finally give myself to him. He made love to me and it was great, I can’t lie. I already saw him as my husband since we were flying out next morning for trad wedding. After he made love to me, around 2.30am, he told me he loves me and wants me to know the whole truth before the traditional wedding takes place.

That was when he told me that he was still married to his wife and she is truly a lesbian but they agreed to remain married in paper so that her sexuality can remain a secret as she is from a wealthy family and they dont want her exposed. And also, the woman is the main source of their wealth. So, everything this guy has, is for the woman. She is in SA with her lover but she comes to naija sometimes. He said they both agreed he can have a second wife but only traditionally. So, he is allowed to marry me but it can only be traditionally and that he wanted to be sure I am the right person for him before he told me.

You see ehn….I thought I was dreaming…I could not believe my ears. I just made love to this guy…our flight to Enugu is in a few hours and he is just telling me that he is still married to another woman but he can only marry me traditionally….I told him I feel deceived and cannot go through with the trad wedding. He begged me and swore to me that nothing has changed, that he will still love me and treat me right but the other marriage is like a business contract for him.

Of course we did not travel that morning. I went back home crying. I have not been myself ever since. This man is still begging me and asking me to think about it. That it will be good opportunity for me, that I will never lack anything, that I should look as someone like Regina who married a billionaire and is very happy. He said nothing is wrong with polygamous marriage if everyone has an understanding and the man is able to provide for the woman.

The problem is, he should have told me earlier…I fell in love with him, slept with him and he dropped this bombshell on me, last minute. I feel he cannot be trust worthy and I do not think this is what I should settle for after waiting for over 30 years of my life for the man that is God’s will for me. I am battling this issue in my mind. What should I do? I love him but is this the kind of life I want for myself?

More From Lively Stones

Is traditional marriage valid? Will my marriage be a happy one? Will the other wife be a problem? Will I not be jealous of sharing my man? What will my parents say….after training me in monogamy…now I want to enter polygamy? I told God the next man I have s3x with must be my husband, is this God’s sign to me? Will it work? Again, do you agree that he deceived me or he at least was honest by telling me the truth before the trad wedding? I need advise.

Anonymous

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True Life Story: My Husband Is A Serial Cheater & His Bad Behavior Is Rubbing Off On Me Too

EDITOR’S NOTE:

This story has been tweaked to protect the privacy of the poster and the characters involved.

Hello Lively Stones,

I got married to a serial cheater. I never knew it was this bad but I am at a point where I am fed up. When we were dating, I saw some signs but every time I confronted him, he would apologize and promise to do better. We did our traditional marriage when I found out that he has a six months child with a lover. I almost died of heartbreak, I was hospitalized and I discovered I was pregnant.

If not the pregnancy, I would have ended our marriage. To ensure that I am the only legal wife, I demanded we do a court wedding and we did. So, while I know am his only legal wife but that has not stopped the cheating. After marriage, he even stopped apologizing for cheating. We stopped having s3x during my pregnancy cos I was afraid of getting STDs in my pregnancy. My husband now used this as an excuse to cheat even more but I was too afraid for my health.

After I had my baby, things got worse. Another woman got pregnant for him. I became laughing stock. After my child’s birthday, I decided to move out of the home. My husband stopped caring for us cos I moved out. My family advised me to go back. I went back and this time, I got a job so I can start saving money and plan to move out when I am able to. Due to the fact that the job is on the island, I started driving one of my husband’s cars to work.

Driving was difficult cos of traffic and late hours, so my husband decided to get me a driver. As time went on, the driver got to know me and he confided in me that my husband actually hired him to spy on me cos he felt since I was not having s3x with him regularly, maybe I was cheating. The driver asked me how I manage without s3x and I told him cos I have self control. He laughed and said I have not met someone who will make me loose control.

As time went, the relationship between me and the driver got quite close. I found myself confiding in him and he too confided in me in alot of things about himself. We both became quite attracted to each other. At times, while driving, he would place his hands on my laps…gradually…his hands slipped inside my V and he would finger me which I found very very pleasurable. I was scared about the way I felt about him but excited too…no man has ever made me feel this kind of pleasure before.

Many times, I told him we should stop and he would say he will…but we end up doing it. I know my husband does not deserve any loyalty from me given the way he treats me but my driver is also married. This makes me feel I am just as wrong as my husband. I know the only way for us to stop this is, I have to fire the driver. But I do not have the heart to do so cos of this bad economy. The money we pay him for driving is barely enough…if I fire him…how will he cope?

So, I called him and explained that I do not want to hurt his wife, cos that is the same thing my husband is doing to me. That for us to continue working, we have to stop having finger s3x. He understood and said ok. A few weeks after, nothing happened. Infact, he became very cold to me. I could not take the coldness so I told him to either stop being cold or resign from the job.

More From Lively Stones

To my greatest shock, he turned to me and I was scared of the look in his eyes. It was a burning look….he just stared at me….shaking and wanting to say or do something but he held himself back. We drove in silence all the way home. When we got home, usually, he would bring in my bags to the living room. So, he took the bags inside while I went straight to my bedroom cos I needed to use the toilet.

After I came out, I met my driver in my room. That look was back on his face…he dragged me and whispered…you better fire me now…cos I cannot hold myself anymore…

…TO BE CONTINUED

Anonymous

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True Life Story: My Husband Is A Serial Cheater & His Bad Behavior Is Rubbing Off On Me Too-Pt 2

EDITOR’S NOTE:

This story has been tweaked to protect the privacy of the poster and the characters involved. Click here to read Part 1 of the story.

After I came out, I met my driver in my room. That look was back on his face…he dragged me and whispered…you better fire me now…cos I cannot hold myself anymore…I tried to push him away but the next thing he did was pull me in closer and started kissing me…I was scared cos I thought the door was open and my husband will come in any minute…he did not listen to my pleas to stop….he kept saying….tell me you dont want it…I will stop.

At first, I said, I dont want it but he said you are lying and so I said…ok I want it but not here in my room…he did not listen and he went on. My struggle reduced. I only told him to make sure the door is locked. what happened next is better not explained. Since that day, we have been sneaking to have s3x and its getting more and more dangerous and I feel guilty every time it happens yet I cannot control myself to stop it.

Every time I try to fire him, something happens: either his house rent is due or he needs money to send to his father who is sick. I am helpless in this matter. I am even helping him look for another job. The truth is, I really feel terrible cos of his wife. I know how it feels to be cheated on. So after I paid the last salary in August, I gave him extra 2 months salary and told him to stop coming to work.

In shock, he could not believe himself….he begged and promised not to sleep with me any more. In my naiveness, I told him, even if he wants to stop, that I cannot stop. That I can’t stop wanting it with him. After a week later, I received a call from the wife, she was crying and begging me to give her husband back his job. That since he was fired, he has not been himself. That he has been depressed, always drinking or sleeping and has refused to go look for another job.

I told the wife I cannot do this anymore, I am sorry. I thought that was the end of the matter. The wife went to beg my husband. That was how my husband found out I fired him. My husband asked me why I fired him without telling him, I tried to say the guy was rude and unprofessional but my husband said I should hire him back, that this is not the time to fire anyone in this current economic situation. He then told me that this driver has only said good things about me to him and so I should not fire him.

Oh my God. If only my husband and his wife knew the real truth behind all these. I don’t know what else to say or do…cos my husband says, his decision is final. That my driver must resume back to work and that I should never think of replacing him. My driver resumed last week, he prostrated and thanked my husband for giving him his job back. As we drove to work that morning, my driver said to me, madam, this is the will of God, don’t fight it.

More From Lively Stones

I need your advise….the goat has entered the lion’s den again and I have no power to do anything about it. When am around him…am shaking …I now sit in the back seat but that has not stopped the bad thoughts from returning to my mind. One of the crazy thoughts running in my head is: what if my husband is trying to set me up? Afterall, he initially sent this guy to spy on me…why is he insisting after I fired him, that he must come back?

I cannot imagine what will happen if he knows this driver is f#cking his wife….its easy for society to forgive a cheating man but not a cheating wife…Its obvious his behaviour has rubbed off on me. Yes, I know I intend to leave this marriage one day but I have not saved enough to leave yet. If my marriage ends sooner than am ready, I don’t know what I will do.

I need advise on how to control myself and stop this man from seducing me…him just being around me…makes me very very nervous. This is a cry for help.

Anonymous

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$\"frames$ Frames (as used in the social & seductive arts) may appear abstract. Yet they’re key to human interaction. He who controls the frame gets the dame.

I started a thread on our forum asking members what concepts in seduction they struggled to grasp. One that came up repeatedly was about frames: frame control, frame grabbing, and simply frames themselves.

Frame is a key concept in pickup. Like all concepts, you don’t have to technically understand the concept to figure out how to do it. A lot of naturals are frame control masters who would not know what you were talking about (at least at first) if you started telling them they had ironclad, magnetic ‘frames’.

To help you really grasp what frames are and how to use them, we’re going to take a closer look at this powerful-but-abstract psychological concept.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Frames, Frame, Control, Simply, Explained", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "136", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/frames-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/frames-frame-control-simply-explained", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:25:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64415", "lang_id": "1", "title": "If You Have Motivation or Libido Problems, Stop Jerking Off & Smoking Weed", "title_slug": "if-you-have-motivation-or-libido-problems-stop-jerking-off-smoking-weed", "title_hash": "a1e5504993a963766b5dcc00973981c4", "summary": "Dudes keep announcing all these motivation and sex drive difficulties… and then it turns out they jerk off and smoke weed. Well, duh! Knock that trash off!\nOver the years I have had countless guys come to me in article comment sections, on the forum, or elsewhere to complain they are having all these problems\n\n\nGetting motivated to go pick up girls\n\n\n\n\nProjecting sexual intent with girls\n\n\n\n\nGetting a firm erection with girls\n\n\n\n\nMaintaining a normal libido & sex drive\n\n\n\n\nNot being overly emotional with girls\n\n\nWe spend all this time troubleshooting, talking about various fixes to these problems but the guys still can’t get around them.\nThen it comes out these guys are jerking off all the time and smoking marijuana.\nAnd I am like, “Well, duh! Why are we even talking about other solutions then? Why didn’t you just say that FIRST?”\nApparently, a lot of men do not realize that jerking off all the time and smoking marijuana negatively impacts your ambition, energy, libido, erection firmne", "content": "

$\"unmotivated?$ Dudes keep announcing all these motivation and sex drive difficulties… and then it turns out they jerk off and smoke weed. Well, duh! Knock that trash off!

Over the years I have had countless guys come to me in article comment sections, on the forum, or elsewhere to complain they are having all these problems

\n
Getting motivated to go pick up girls
\n

\n
Projecting sexual intent with girls
\n

\n
Getting a firm erection with girls
\n

\n
Maintaining a normal libido & sex drive
\n

\n
Not being overly emotional with girls
\n

We spend all this time troubleshooting, talking about various fixes to these problems but the guys still can’t get around them.

Then it comes out these guys are jerking off all the time and smoking marijuana.

And I am like, “Well, duh! Why are we even talking about other solutions then? Why didn’t you just say that FIRST?”

Apparently, a lot of men do not realize that jerking off all the time and smoking marijuana negatively impacts your ambition, energy, libido, erection firmness, and sexual prowess.

So let’s just be real clear about that now:

Frequent masturbation and/or frequent marijuana toking corrodes your drive and sex energy.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", You, Have, Motivation, Libido, Problems, Stop, Jerking, Off, Smoking, Weed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/motivation-libido-masturbation-marijuana-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/if-you-have-motivation-or-libido-problems-stop-jerking-smoking-weed", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:25:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64414", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What's Up with Pickup Artists Becoming Crypto Founders?", "title_slug": "whats-up-with-pickup-artists-becoming-crypto-founders", "title_hash": "b2b6febce0ee42a46d1b494d902e7312", "summary": "There’s a trend where former pickup artists become cryptocurrency founders and gurus. What on Earth is the relationship between these two disparate fields?\nThere’s a story making the rounds online now about how the Trump team is joining up with a cryptocurrency borrowing and lending service called World Liberty Financial. The lede is that some of the executives previously headed up a hacked crypto app – and one of them is a former pickup artist.\nThe former pickup artist in question is Zachary Folkman, once known as Zach Bauer, previously of Real Social Dynamics (RSD). Along with Rob Judge, Zach founded Date Hotter Girls, an in-field pickup company with a website that’s still online (unlike many from that era), though its last blog post was in 2016… and its products page is defunct (no coaching on offer anymore either).\nAs far as cryptocurrency hacks go, a $2 million hack (which is what their previous app was hacked to the tune of) is pretty pedestrian.\nThe more interesting thing to me ", "content": "

$\"PUA$ There’s a trend where former pickup artists become cryptocurrency founders and gurus. What on Earth is the relationship between these two disparate fields?

There’s a story making the rounds online now about how the Trump team is joining up with a cryptocurrency borrowing and lending service called World Liberty Financial. The lede is that some of the executives previously headed up a hacked crypto app – and one of them is a former pickup artist.

The former pickup artist in question is Zachary Folkman, once known as Zach Bauer, previously of Real Social Dynamics (RSD). Along with Rob Judge, Zach founded Date Hotter Girls, an in-field pickup company with a website that’s still online (unlike many from that era), though its last blog post was in 2016… and its products page is defunct (no coaching on offer anymore either).

As far as cryptocurrency hacks go, a $2 million hack (which is what their previous app was hacked to the tune of) is pretty pedestrian.

The more interesting thing to me is how yet another pickup artist is involved in running a project in the cryptocurrency space. Why do PUAs keep ending up becoming crypto founders & execs?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Whats, with, Pickup, Artists, Becoming, Crypto, Founders", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/pickup-artist-cryptocurrency-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/whats-pickup-artists-becoming-crypto-founders", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:25:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64413", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Act Around Average Girls When You're Sexy", "title_slug": "how-to-act-around-average-girls-when-youre-sexy", "title_hash": "596ceb67a04d0333959b6c5b1853165b", "summary": "If you’re an attractive or sexy man, Plain Janes can be tough. Try your normal approach on them and they get RUDE! Instead, use the “light touch.”\nI had a conversation recently where I heard this story:\n[A few years back] I went out with my college buddy and his girlfriend’s friend group and there was a girl in there who was a VERY GENEROUS 7. The other better looking ones were taken. They tried to set me up when we all went out and she made sure to make a public spectacle of voicing she was very NOT interested and shot me down. Absolutely infuriating dude because you and I both know what was going on there, but to a super unaware seducer like my buddy (just your typical goes all in on a girl who shows him any attention at all type, he’s married to that girl now) it looks like you’re an unattractive slob because a mid 7 shoots you down so hard.\n\nThe guy telling this story is a good-looking dude with solid game who shags hot girls off of dating apps on the regular. He not infrequently h", "content": "

$\"how$ If you’re an attractive or sexy man, Plain Janes can be tough. Try your normal approach on them and they get RUDE! Instead, use the “light touch.”

I had a conversation recently where I heard this story:

The guy telling this story is a good-looking dude with solid game who shags hot girls off of dating apps on the regular. He not infrequently has girls tell him he is “very handsome” or “could be a model.” He also has a solid sense of humor. He is not some doddering Quasimodo.

Nevertheless, some years back this borderline cute girl shot him down publicly in front of his friends and made him look like an unsexy loser.

At the time, he didn’t understand why – and as she and he were the only single people in the group, it made for a very awkward outing with friends. Coupled with the dry spell he’d been on at the time, and the drinking he ended up doing that evening, he told me he “hit rock bottom” later that night.

The “vicious average girl who nastily shoots you down” phenomenon is not reserved for men with male-model looks though. It’s something I’ve experienced plenty of times, and have talked with other guys about them having experienced too.

Believe it or not, there’s a reliable solution to it that makes it so these girls stop treating you in such a rude way – but you have to understand the psychology behind why they do it, first.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Act, Around, Average, Girls, When, Youre, Sexy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "136", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/09/act-around-average-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-act-around-average-girls-when-youre-sexy", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:25:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64411", "lang_id": "1", "title": "21-Year-Old Influencer Defends Relationship With 16-Year-Old Boyfriend", "title_slug": "21-year-old-influencer-defends-relationship-with-16-year-old-boyfriend", "title_hash": "7f76d475e727f2c0e2bbc9bacc3f95c4", "summary": "After receiving harsh criticism, a social media personality has defended her choice to date a 16-year-old boy. Natasha…", "content": "After receiving harsh criticism, a social media personality has defended her choice to date a 16-year-old boy. Natasha…", "keywords": "21-Year-Old, Influencer, Defends, Relationship, With, 16-Year-Old, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/2pict.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/21-year-old-influencer-defends-relationship-with-16-year-old-boyfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64412", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Army Veteran, 36, Becomes Most Tattooed Woman Ever, Covering 99.98% of Her Body in 10 Years", "title_slug": "army-veteran-36-becomes-most-tattooed-woman-ever-covering-9998-of-her-body-in-10-years", "title_hash": "bffd70aad45dd6e5368b0eb3a839257a", "summary": "Esperance Fuerzina, a 36-year-old army veteran from Bridgeport, Connecticut, has spent the last ten years transforming her body…", "content": "Esperance Fuerzina, a 36-year-old army veteran from Bridgeport, Connecticut, has spent the last ten years transforming her body…", "keywords": "Army, Veteran, Becomes, Most, Tattooed, Woman, Ever, Covering, 99.98, Her, Body, Years", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "89", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/imag3.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/army-veteran-36-becomes-most-tattooed-woman-ever-covering-99-98-of-her-body-in-10-years/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64409", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Essential Tailgate Gear", "title_slug": "essential-tailgate-gear", "title_hash": "cbd2beba6ac2e456ade5c394ef9caba2", "summary": "Tackle the Fall Tailgate Right With These Clutch Products", "content": "Summer is ending soon and that’s not such a bad thing. If you’re anything like us, you already got the most out of the hottest, sunniest season of the year. Perhaps you went on some camping trips, a few road trips to iconic, memorable destinations (a National Park or giant bottle of twine), and a day floating at a beach, lake, or large pond. \r\nWhile autumn is the gateway to winter, it brings a handful of great things and events (and we don’t mean the deluge of pumpkin-spiced nonsense). We’re talking about an increase in apple-centric foods, tons of warm sweaters, and the beginning of tailgate season.\r\nAnd while the idea of tailgating might seem simple, it’s much more complicated than driving into a parking lot, opening a lawn chair, and cracking a frosty, refreshing beer. To do it right, you need essential items like coolers, grills, canopies for inclement weather, yard games, and a great football or two for tossing while you wait for kickoff.\r\n \r\nRELATED: Essential Camping Gear for Beginners\r\nFear not, you don’t have to worry about tailgating essentials, as we did the work for you. Below, you’ll find out picks for the best chairs, tables, coolers, and everything else you’ll need for an outstanding tailgate season. You just have to pick the drinks, meats, veggies, and snacks — we can’t do that for you.\r\n \r\nYETI Roadie 60 Wheeled Cooler\r\n\r\nIf you’re anything like us, you’ll need a big cooler to fit all that beer, various other drinks, and food. The YETI Roadie 60 Wheeled Cooler is well-suited for tailgating. For one thing, it’s massive and will fit as many as 98 cans (if you don’t add ice or any steaks, burgers, or other eats). Also, it’s on wheels so it will easily move with you if you manage to find yourself invited to another tailgate party. Lastly, it’s made by YETI so you know it’s durable and will still be ready for you during the playoffs.\r\n \r\n$450 at YETI.com \r\nCamp Chef Mesa Aluminum Camp Table\r\n\r\nUnless you’re in Buffalo, you should be using your table for eating or tabletop grilling as opposed to launching your body through it from the top of a minivan. One of our favorite tailgating tables is the Camp Chef Mesa Aluminum Camp Table. Easy to carry to your tailgate, this collapsible table is made of lightweight aluminum. It even comes with a carry bag to stow it away in your car and bring it out when the tailgate begins. Don’t try to jump through this table; save that for the cheap plastic tables instead — or better yet, don’t do it at all.\r\n \r\n$139.99 at CampChef.com \r\nOXO Good Grips 3-Piece Grilling Tool Set\r\n\r\nIf you plan to grill at your tailgate and you don’t want to burn your fingers while taking sizzling steaks and scorching sausages off the grill, you’re going to need a decent set of grilling tools. And no, you don’t need a ridiculous set with 10 tools that you’ll never use. We always like to keep tailgating simple. That’s why we bring along the OXO Good Grips 3-Piece Grilling Tool Set. This easily portable set includes grilling tongs (with scalloped edges and a nifty bottle opener), a stainless-steel grilling turner, and a silicone surface to rest your meats on before cutting into them.\r\n \r\n$29.99 at OXO.com \r\nREI Co-Op Wonderland Chair\r\n\r\n \r\nNever underestimate the importance of a comfortable, sturdy chair. This is especially true when it comes to tailgating. You’re going to be lounging in this chair from the early morning hours until kickoff, so it had better be high-quality. Our go-to tailgate chair is the REI Co-Op Wonderland Chair. This surprisingly well-priced chair is made with a 100% recycled polyester seat that’s treated with a water-repellant finish to ensure you never have to sit on a puddle. One of the most comfortable tailgating chairs, it also has a mesh bottle holder, a carry strap for moving between tailgates, and a weight capacity of up to 300 pounds.\r\n \r\n$99.95 at REI.com \r\nYaheetech Pop-Up Canopy Tent\r\n\r\nYou never know what mother nature will throw at you during tailgate season. It’s always best to be prepared with a durable, well-made canopy. One of our favorites is the Yaheetech Pop-Up Canopy Tent. This 10X10 pop-up canopy is heavy-duty, surprisingly easy to move from site to site, and easy to put up. It features a waterproof, adjustable canopy and even comes in a wheeled carry bag. Using the telescopic legs, you can decide the proper height for you and your tailgate party. What better way to ward off that random autumnal rain?\r\n$139.99 at Yaheetech.com \r\nCornholeAce ACE Red Zone – Cornhole Board Set\r\n\r\nNo tailgate is complete without a yard game or two. And no yard game is better for parking lot use than classic corn hole. And while you could easily grab a cheap plastic version that might last a month into the season, your best bet is to get a heavy duty set to use year after year. We love the CornholeAce ACE Red Zone – Cornhole Board Set. This is the kind of corn hole set professionals use and it’s made to the same standards, using ¾ inch Baltic Birch plywood and a combination of UV-activated ink and clear coat paint to guarantee it won’t fade in the sun, even if you play every week during the season.\r\n \r\nFrom $199.99 at CornholeAce.com \r\nBlackstone Omnivore Stainless Front Panel Tabletop Griddle\r\n\r\nThere’s no tailgate without food. If you’re attending (or throwing) a proper tailgate, you’re going to need something to grill the burgers, steaks, sausages, ribs, and veggies on. We love the Blackstone Omnivore Stainless Front Panel Tabletop Griddle. With 22” of cooking space, you’ll have more than enough room for everyone’s favorite grilled meats. To add to that, there are two independently controlled cooking zones cranking out a whopping 21,000 BTUs. It’s the perfect, portable tabletop grill for the fall tailgate season.\r\n \r\n$199.99 at BlackstoneProducts.com \r\nYETI Rambler 12 Oz Colster Can Cooler\r\n\r\nWhile some of the items on our list take up more space in your car and seem like essentials, it’s difficult to underplay the importance of a well-made beer (or soda) can koozie. And while the traditional foam or neoprene novelty koozies are great, we need something with a little more substance and durability. That’s why we love the YETI Rambler 12 Oz Colster Can Cooler for tailgate season. This heavy-duty, durable can cooler is made with kitchen-grade stainless steel, is double wall-vacuum insulated, has a quick turn gasket to guarantee your drink stays snug and cool, and comes in a variety of colors to suit any personality or taste.\r\n \r\n$25 at YETI.com \r\nNike Official Tournament Football\r\n\r\nWhile corn hole (and simply sitting in lawn chairs while you eat snacks and drink beer) is all well and good, sometimes you want something that is not only fun, but a little more laid back while you tailgate. In between meaty dishes and frosty brews, we like to toss a football around and pretend that we have a fraction of the talent of the players we’ll be watching later. You can grab a random football at a sporting goods store at the checkout (that might pop by mid-season) or you can buy a high-quality ball you’ll want to throw around all season long. We prefer the Nike Official Tournament Football. It’s made of high-grade composite leather, so you’ll feel like Josh Allen or Patrick Mahomes as you sling it around the parking lot with your friends.\r\n \r\n$45 at DicksSportingGoods.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n25 Products That Could Last 25 Years or MoreThe Best Carabiners to Upgrade Your EDCBest Backpacks for Men", "keywords": "Essential, Tailgate, Gear", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/travel/essential-tailgate-gear/askmen-lead-image-template-1725483958.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/travel/essential-tailgate-gear.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64410", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Top Diet Mistakes Men Make (and How To Fix Them)", "title_slug": "the-top-diet-mistakes-men-make-and-how-to-fix-them", "title_hash": "5e04918f363399bc1d1e6b63da1af754", "summary": "Whether you’re looking to lose weight, build muscle, improve your heart health, or live as long as possible, being mindful of your diet is one of the best strategies you can employ. But it’s easy to get overwhelmed and confused by all the conflicting diet advice out there. \r\nYesterday’s headlines revealed intermittent fasting can reduce inflammation and improve cardiovascular health, but today’s headlines indicate that it’s linked to a higher risk of cardiovascular death. One influencer is telling you to eat more veggies, while another is saying they’re high in anti-nutrients like lectins and oxalates. How are you supposed to make sense of it all — and make smart choices when it comes to eating?\r\nSomething to keep in mind: The U.S. weight loss market is currently worth a record high of $89.9 billion — so very often, the messaging is rooted in an attempt to sell you something (that in all likelihood you don’t need). That’s why experts advise getting back to basics with your nutrition ph", "content": "Whether you’re looking to lose weight, build muscle, improve your heart health, or live as long as possible, being mindful of your diet is one of the best strategies you can employ. But it’s easy to get overwhelmed and confused by all the conflicting diet advice out there. \r\nYesterday’s headlines revealed intermittent fasting can reduce inflammation and improve cardiovascular health, but today’s headlines indicate that it’s linked to a higher risk of cardiovascular death. One influencer is telling you to eat more veggies, while another is saying they’re high in anti-nutrients like lectins and oxalates. How are you supposed to make sense of it all — and make smart choices when it comes to eating?\r\nSomething to keep in mind: The U.S. weight loss market is currently worth a record high of $89.9 billion — so very often, the messaging is rooted in an attempt to sell you something (that in all likelihood you don’t need). That’s why experts advise getting back to basics with your nutrition philosophy. \r\nRELATED: How to Make Your Food Healthier\r\n“Guys often overthink nutrition,” says Chris Mohr, a registered dietitian and Fitness and Nutrition Advisor at Fortune Recommends Health. “They think that sticking to rigid diets or only eating certain ‘healthy’ foods is the best way to reach their fitness goals. This isn't necessarily true. It’s better to have a balanced diet with a variety of foods.”\r\nWhatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of making these all-too-common diet mistakes. \r\n1. Focusing Only on Protein\r\nA lot of men have a one-track mind when it comes to their diet. More specifically, they’re laser-focused on their intake of protein — and protein alone.\r\n“Focusing on just one macro — like protein — will not help you achieve your weight or health goals,” says Dawn Menning, a registered dietitian with the Nutu App.\r\n“You need the right balance between the macronutrients, including carbs and fat as well.”\r\nAccording to Avery Zenker, a registered dietitian with EverFlex Fitness, guys also tend to underestimate the importance of micronutrients — in other words, vitamins and minerals.\r\n“Relying only on macros is too simplified,” she explains. “This can lead men to choose low-quality foods to align with their macro goals and ignore nutrient-dense foods.”\r\nZenker advises choosing whole foods whenever possible in order to make sure you’re supplying your body with both the macronutrients and micronutrients it needs. That includes anything with only one ingredient like meat, fish, fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.\r\n2. Skipping Meals\r\nMaybe it’s because you repeatedly hit the snooze button and don’t have time to whip up a healthy breakfast, maybe you’re too lazy to pack a lunch for the office, or maybe you just don’t have the energy to cook dinner after a long workday — but whatever your reasoning, you might want to rethink skipping meals. According to Mohr, this often just leads you to overeat later on in the day.\r\n“Being overly hungry can lead to overeating and poor food choices,” he tells AskMen. “And it can mess up your energy levels and metabolism. You should eat regularly throughout the day to help keep your blood sugar levels stable.”\r\nMohr recommends meal prepping — say, on a Sunday before the work week starts — so there are no excuses to miss meals. Even just buying pre-grilled or roasted chicken, or chopping veggies and fruit in advance, can go a long way in making it easy to throw together some healthy meals.\r\n3. Eating Out Every Day\r\nStudies have shown that people who cook meals at home more frequently consume fewer carbohydrates, less sugar and less fat — even when they aren’t trying to lose weight. They also consume about 140 fewer daily calories than people who eat at least one takeout or restaurant meal per day.\r\n“Portion sizes at restaurants can be excessive,” adds Zenker. “These meals often lack vitamins and minerals, fiber, and quality micronutrients. In addition, restaurant meals usually lack satiety factors, making you more likely to overeat.”\r\nIf for whatever reason, you have to eat out daily — for example, because you travel for work — Zenker recommends researching restaurants that offer more nutritious options whenever possible. Placing a pickup or delivery order? Apps like DoorDash and Grubhub allow you to filter specifically for healthy restaurants near you.\r\nRELATED: Simple Diet Changes for Weight Loss\r\n“Cooking at home empowers men to feel confident and have more control over portion sizes, ingredients, and healthier preparation methods,” adds Zenker. “Take small steps to cooking more often. Browse recipes online or watch cooking videos on YouTube and Instagram. Start with a simple recipe,and once you’re confident making that, build from there.”\r\n4. Not Eating Enough Veggies\r\nWe know that people who eat more vegetables have a lower risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain cancers and are less likely to be overweight. Yet for some reason, research has consistently shown that men are way less likely to eat their veggies than women.\r\nThis is a big mistake, says Zenker, no matter what your health goals are.\r\n\r\n“Vegetables provide essential fiber, antioxidants, and vitamins/minerals that support overall health, digestion, and immune function,” she explains. “And for those who are trying to lose weight, they provide volume to meals with minimal calories.”\r\nAn analysis by Harvard revealed that five servings per day of fruits and veggies — which could mean three servings of vegetables and two servings of fruit — is the ideal amount for maximum health benefits. Zenker strongly advises aiming for diversity so that you can reap a wide range of nutrients. So, if you’re a creature of habit, challenge yourself to eat at least 2-3 different vegetables every day, and rotate your selection at the grocery store each week. For extra credit, specifically seek out vegetables that are currently in season, as studies have shown that these tend to be even more nutrient-dense.\r\n5. Distracted and Rushed Eating\r\nIt goes a little something like this: You sit down in front of the TV with a plate of bolognese, and next thing you know, your plate is clean and you’re past the point of stuffed. Or, you start checking Instagram while snacking on some chips and by the time you’re done scrolling, you’ve reached the bottom of the bag. Distractions can make you far more likely to overeat because you’re not paying attention to your body’s fullness cues. \r\nThat’s why Zenker recommends making it a point to avoid eating while you’re at your computer, on your phone, watching television, or driving in the car. You’re also more likely to eat too fast when you’re distracted, says Zenker, which not only impedes digestion but also doesn’t give your brain enough time to register that you’re satiated.\r\n \r\n“Start practicing eating more mindfully,” she tells AskMen. “Mindful eating involves being fully present and noticing how your food looks, smells, and tastes — and how you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically while eating it.”\r\nPro tip: Sharing a meal with someone else can help you to slow down during mealtime, because you have to take breaks in between bites to keep the conversation going. If you live alone, consider FaceTiming a friend or family member during meals.\r\n6. Saving up for “Cheat Meals”\r\nOverly restricted diets are a huge mistake for many reasons, says Menning. Not only is it next to impossible for you to meet your body’s nutrient needs this way, but research has shown that these types of diets can also disrupt hormone balance and weaken your immune system.\r\nOftentimes, men who adhere to diets that forbid entire food groups or severely restrict calories will reward themselves with a “cheat meal” or “cheat day” at the end of the week, which may entail loading up on wings, nachos, or pizza, and washing it all down with beer. But there’s a big problem with this strategy, according to Mohr. For one, it keeps you in a disordered eating cycle of restricting and binging and may increase feelings of guilt and shame around food.\r\nInstead, to maintain a healthy and mindful relationship with food, consider following the 80-20 or 90-10 rule: eating healthy foods 80-90% of the time, and then treating yourself to occasional indulgences 10-20% of the time.\r\n7. Following Fad Diets\r\nNot long ago, it was all about raw veganism and keto. Now people have moved on to the carnivore diet. It’s hard to keep up with the latest nutritional fads — and according to Menning, it’s not even worth trying — because most of these diets are impractical and unsustainable.\r\n“While the short-term focus of eating a certain way may be on aesthetics or performance, what’s arguably more important is the long-term benefits of good nutrition,” says Zenker.\r\nWhen considering a new eating pattern, ask yourself: Is this a diet I could realistically maintain for years to come? If not, then skip it.\r\nAnother thing to keep in mind is that we’re all ultra unique — so whatever diet works for your buddy, your boss, or that shredded celebrity you follow on IG, might not work for you. Rather than hopping on the latest TikTok trends, experts advise consulting a registered dietitian (RD) for a personalized diet plan based on your health history, lifestyle, and goals.\r\n“If you’re not seeing any progress towards your goals, a RD can work with you to help you pinpoint what the barrier is and provide recommendations based on individualized needs and health goals,” says Menning.\r\nZenker notes that RDs can also help you learn how to analyze food labels, make healthier choices when eating out, plan and cook nutritious meals that accommodate any dietary restrictions, and manage any chronic diseases.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nA Guide to the Blue Zone Diet and LifestyleWhat Is a Green Mediterranean Diet and Should You Try It?How to Improve Your Mood Through Your Diet", "keywords": "The, Top, Diet, Mistakes, Men, Make, and, How, Fix, Them", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "164", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt/fixing-common-diet-mistakes/askmen-lead-image-template-1725453734.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/foodcourt/fixing-common-diet-mistakes.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64408", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How the Shark PowerDetect™ 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop with NeverTouch™ Pro Base Will Revolutionize Your Home Cleaning Game", "title_slug": "how-the-shark-powerdetect-2-in-1-robot-vacuum-and-mop-with-nevertouch-pro-base-will-revolutionize-your-home-cleaning-game", "title_hash": "56e3ed34ead1330d19fef5306869d10a", "summary": "The 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop That'll Save You Time, Space and Your Sanity", "content": "This article is sponsored by Shark.\r\n\r\nProduct photos from retailer site.\r\n\r\nCleaning the toilet? Gross.\r\nWashing dishes? Boring.\r\nFolding a fitted sheet? Comically tedious.\r\nThere's no denying that there are a ton of household chores that just plain suck. Full stop. But the most persistent, never-ending chore has got to be cleaning the floors. Hear me out: Every room's got one and everything lands on 'em, and no one has the time to go around sweeping and vacuuming and mopping them every damn day! And that goes double, triple, maybe even quadruple if you have pets or kids... or a long-haired partner who sheds more than a yeti.\r\nRELATED: Experts Tell Us How We’re All Doing Our Laundry Wrong\r\nSo what’s the solution? Enter this brand new, holy grail robotic helper, the Shark PowerDetect™ 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop with NeverTouch™ Pro Base. That's a mouthful, but getting the name right is about as much effort as you'll ever need to put into this house-cleaning game changer. Thanks to five powerful cleaning technologies and almost entirely hands-off maintenance, it'll take that daily pain in the ass chore off of your plate completely.\r\n\r\n4 Reasons Why the Shark PowerDetect™ 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop with NeverTouch™ Pro Base Is a Game Changer\r\n\r\nSo you've tried a robot vacuum before and it kept getting stuck? Well, not a problem here, thanks to NeverStuck technology. \r\nGot a dog whose slobber puddles dry into crusty rings of yuck? Also not a problem since this little powerhouse is both a vacuum and a mop. \r\nBut the benefits of this 2-in-1 don't stop there. So we’re highlighting the top four ways the Shark PowerDetect™ 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop with NeverTouch™ Pro Base will revolutionize your most annoying household chore — and you’re definitely going to want to sit down for the last one.\r\n1. It never misses a spot — on any floor type.\r\nDirtDetect technology zeroes in on spots with more debris and boosts vacuuming performance while StainDetect targets spots that need a few extra passes with the mop. Even more impressively, EdgeDetect blasts air to dislodge debris from the edges of your rooms while vacuuming, and the mopping pad extends up to an inch to ensure a spotless clean from wall to wall.\r\n\r\n2. It's in your control, but totally out of mind.\r\nYou can easily create a map of your home so it can target specific spots for extra cleaning and learn where it's not allowed to go. You can also create a cleaning schedule to let it do its thing whenever you're not around so you won't get in each other's way. \r\n3. It's hyper-aware of its surroundings.\r\nMade with NeverStuck Technology™, it knows when to lift itself over obstacles and across thresholds (like when it goes from hard floors to high carpet) without getting stuck. Even better, it knows to keep its mopping pad above carpeting so you'll never accidentally step into a soggy mess. Plus, its advanced 3D sensor and 360-degree LiDAR work together to avoid banging up your furniture's legs and tumbling into any unexpected obstacles in its path — like that toy your kid left out or your dog who can't be bothered to move from his favorite napping spot unless it's dinnertime. \r\n\r\n4. It cleans itself for weeks at a time.\r\nAfter each run, it heads back to home base where it dumps its collected treasure into the bagless 60-day-capacity bin (which traps 99.97% of dust and pet allergens, and neutralizes any bad odors) and refills its water tank for up to 30 days. There, it also washes and dries its antimicrobial mopping pad to prep for your next mess. That's three whole things you don't have to do yourself every time it cleans, not to mention all the time you'll save by not having to do the actual vacuuming and mopping by your own hand.\r\n\r\nShark’s Solution for Saving Time, Space and Your Sanity\r\n\r\nLet's face it, the cleanliness — and dare I say, serenity — of your home is exponentially improved when your floors are clean. Besides the fact that your home instantly looks better and cleaner overall, the air quality is also better when there isn't all of that extra dust getting kicked up. Best of all, you can walk around barefoot without catapulting yourself into sensory hell. (That feeling of crumbs and who-knows-what underfoot is absolutely bone-chilling, no?) \r\nSure, you could spend countless hours each week cleaning it all up yourself — if you can find space to stash an upright vacuum, broom, mop and bucket somewhere in your house or tiny apartment. Or, you can just invest in an invaluable time-, space- and sanity-saver like the Shark PowerDetect™ 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop with NeverTouch™ Pro Base. Totally up to you.\r\nShark PowerDetect™ 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop with NeverTouch™ Pro Base\r\n\r\n$999.99 at SharkClean.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\nHere’s How Often You Should Be Replacing Your SheetsTurning 40? We've Got the Ultimate To-Do List for YouHow to Master the Power of Self-Discipline", "keywords": "How, the, Shark, PowerDetect™, 2-in-1, Robot, Vacuum, and, Mop, with, NeverTouch™, Pro, Base, Will, Revolutionize, Your, Home, Cleaning, Game", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "127", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/home/how-the-shark-powerdetect-2-in-1-robot-vacuum-and-mop-with-nevertouch-pro-base-will-revolutionize-your-home-cleaning-game/sharkpowerdetect-lead090524-1725572688.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/home/how-the-shark-powerdetect-2-in-1-robot-vacuum-and-mop-with-nevertouch-pro-base-will-revolutionize-your-home-cleaning-game.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64407", "lang_id": "1", "title": "75 of the Best Thanksgiving Desserts for 2024", "title_slug": "75-of-the-best-thanksgiving-desserts-for-2024", "title_hash": "81baf14f2b0da127405baca94a257eda", "summary": "Looking for some tasty Thanksgiving desserts? Look no further! We've compiled 75 of the BEST desserts that are perfect for Turkey Day!\nThe post 75 of the Best Thanksgiving Desserts for 2024 appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Looking for some tasty Thanksgiving desserts? Look no further! We've compiled 75 of the BEST desserts that are perfect for Turkey Day!

The post 75 of the Best Thanksgiving Desserts for 2024 appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": ", the, Best, Thanksgiving, Desserts, for, 2024", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "124", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Thanksgiving-Desserts-Square.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/75-of-the-best-thanksgiving-desserts-for-2024/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64406", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Active Listening Will Transform Your Marriage", "title_slug": "active-listening-will-transform-your-marriage", "title_hash": "adce2818a657e06762f1cf3a312c52b9", "summary": "Active listening is a vital tool that can improve your marriage, and our tips will help you improve your communication with your spouse. \nThe post Active Listening Will Transform Your Marriage appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Active listening is a vital tool that can improve your marriage, and our tips will help you improve your communication with your spouse.

The post Active Listening Will Transform Your Marriage appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "Active, Listening, Will, Transform, Your, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Active-Listening-Square.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/active-listening-will-transform-your-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-06 15:24:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "64026", "lang_id": "1", "title": "After 2020, These 3 Georgia Universities Are Working Overtime to Get Out the Vote", "title_slug": "after-2020-these-3-georgia-universities-are-working-overtime-to-get-out-the-vote", "title_hash": "db8d1cdc2f2ffedd864055efd0f33647", "summary": "Students at Georgia Tech, Georgia College and State University, and UGA can access voter resources through clubs, outreach programs, and classes.\nThe post After 2020, These 3 Georgia Universities Are Working Overtime to Get Out the Vote appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The 2020 presidential election, and some of the events following it, was unlike any other in U.S. history—especially in Georgia, which flipped for Democrats for the first time in decades.

As the presidential election races ever closer, voter registration drives are ramping up. These efforts encourage as many people as possible to fulfill their civic duty and get out to the polls on November 5. One area that these groups specifically target is college campuses, where many would-be first-time voters can be found.

Recent election cycles have seen an uptick in the number of 18- to 24-year-olds registered to vote, including a 6 percent nationwide jump between 2018 and 2022. The number is even higher in battleground states, according to Civic Nation.

For this year’s election, Georgia—along with North Carolina—has the eighth most electoral college votes, 16, making it an important state to win on the journey to a 270 majority. The Peach State consistently voted for the Republican candidate in every presidential election from 1996 to 2016, but it shocked the nation four years ago when it turned blue with a 0.23 percent margin—the narrowest win in the country—for President Joe Biden.

These latest elections have also seen an increase in the number of registered young adults actually casting a ballot. In 2020, 66 percent of registered college students voted—a 14 percentage point increase from the 2016 election, according to the Washington Post.

Both the increase in registrations and in actual votes have been bolstered by get-out-the-vote initiatives on college campuses across the country, and Georgia is certainly no different. We took a look at how some universities across the state are encouraging students to vote this November.

Georgia College and State University

\"Entrance — *Austen Risolvato/Rewire News Group*

Research shows that in-class presentations by professors or other students increase both registration and, by a lesser margin, turnout for student voters. Claire Sanders, senior lecturer of political science and public administration at Georgia College and State University, has firsthand experience teaching students about the importance of elections. Sanders runs an election administration certificate—a unique opportunity not only for Georgia students, but a rare program across the country.

The certificate program allows students to explore how elections are facilitated and why they are important in our democracy. An internship requirement lets students take on roles in the field, such as being poll workers. Students can work an internship in election administration at the local, state, or federal level. According to Sanders, the program works with local governments to help set up the internships.

“The reason why we developed this election certificate program is to encourage public service in this area,” Sanders said. “Elections are probably the most critical public service that the government provides.”

GCSU founded their certificate this most recent academic year, and has about ten students, according to Sanders. But the university has a strong track record of students turning out to vote.

In 2022, GCSU was named a “most engaged campus” for student voting by Civic Nation’s ALL IN Campus Democracy Challenge. According to the National Study of Learning, Voting, and Engagement, more than 76 percent of GCSU students voted in the 2020 presidential election, surpassing the 66 percent national average.

“It’s important that students understand the issues of equality and voting rights and the history of past legalized discrimination in voting, why we have the voting laws that we have now,” Sanders said.

GCSU also hosts other initiatives to encourage student involvement in the democratic process. Sanders and her colleague, Professor Jan Hoffman, host weekly talks with students covering various current events. While Sanders is more involved with the election administration certificate, Hoffman serves as the campus’ American Democracy Project coordinator and works to help students register to vote.

University of Georgia

Hunter Leon, president of the Conservative Student Union at the University of Georgia, said it is important for college students to fulfill their civic duty to get educated and vote in honor of the fact that it is an opportunity not available to everyone.

CSU, a nonpartisan conservative student club, hosts discussions on a variety of political topics to allow students to form their opinions and hear from others.

“I think people being exposed to different ideas from all sorts of students is important to be able to form their own opinion,” Leon said.

Every election year, CSU tables on campus to help students register to vote. But they aren’t the only group that can be found doing so. In fact, not all tablers are even UGA students.

Indivisible GA 10, a chapter of the pro-democracy grassroots group Indivisible, can frequently be spotted encouraging students to get registered, cast their vote, and be involved in holding elected officials accountable, according to its website. The group is based in Georgia’s Tenth District, which includes Athens—where UGA is located—and is made up of community members of all ages, races, and genders.

Their goals include efforts to “increase voter turnout, end voter suppression, improve election integrity, accomplish fair redistricting results, and ensure all Georgians have the same opportunities to thrive regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, or belief.”

Georgia Tech

\"A — *Austen Risolvato/Rewire News Group*

The Georgia Institute of Technology, or Georgia Tech, is located in the state capital, Atlanta, right at the heart of Fulton County, which helped to flip the state in the 2020 election.

Georgia Tech has multiple resources to encourage students to get involved with the democratic process. Its VoterTech website has an all-in-one guide with information about how to register and the deadline, where to vote, how to vote by mail, how to request an absentee ballot, and more. VoterTech is a nonpartisan voting information hub that “investigates factors that affect voter turnout among college students.” The project lasted from the 2020 to 2022 election cycles, according to Georgia Tech associate professor Richard Barke, but much of the information is still relevant today.

The campus also has a chapter of Voters of Tomorrow (VOT@GT), “a nonpartisan, pro-democracy organization that seeks to educate, mobilize, and represent our generation of voters.” Alexa Bowman Olay, who currently serves as president, founded the chapter during the fall 2022 semester, ahead of the midterm elections.

Bowman Olay is passionate about encouraging young people to vote, regardless of their political beliefs, and countering the notion that an individual’s vote doesn’t matter. Being politically active can be time consuming, but voting is an easy way to get involved, she said.

“Our main goal is to really encourage our generation to be politically involved in whatever way or whatever capacity they feel comfortable in,” Bowman Olay said.

VOT@GT works to provide access to information and resources for in-state and out-of-state Georgia Tech students, like tabling at events and hosting a meeting with a Gen Z state senate candidate.

“You’re never too young”

An increase in student voter turnout can have widespread impacts. Taking advantage of their power as citizens in a democracy will give these young adults a say in how issues they care about are handled at a local, state and national scale. When politicians realize the power of appealing to the younger demographic, issues that matter to them, such as student debt, are more likely to get attention.

“A lot of people … don’t have time to go and be politically active, to go and protest, to go to their local senators and talk to them,” Bowman Olay said. “And so even something as small as going out to vote is still doing something.”

If young voters turn out en masse, they can start to see their generation be represented in the legislature. Congress is full of Baby Boomers. If young voters register to vote—and show up to the polls—they can make their voices heard and put more Millennial and Gen Z lawmakers where they can make a difference.

“You’re never too young,” Leon said. “Every voice matters.”

The post After 2020, These 3 Georgia Universities Are Working Overtime to Get Out the Vote appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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When Rykki Lide arrived at North Carolina A&T State University, a historically Black university, in 2022, the campus culture was not what they expected.

“You know, when you come to these institutions and do the research on them, you expect them to be this safe space for all Black people,” Lide said. “But when you get there, the culture is not here. It is very cliquey and standoffish. I think my expression of being queer really affects how I am perceived by others on campus.”

Lide’s experience at NCAT wasn’t unique: Devin Pryor, a recent Florida A&M University graduate, told Rewire News Group that as a queer student, he didn’t feel like he could fully be part of the student community.

“Being queer on campus isn’t frowned upon per se, but it makes it pretty difficult to go for more prestigious roles on campus, such as Mr. FAMU, or join Divine Nine organizations,” Pryor said. “We kind of have these stigmatizations that we cannot be part of the community to access those kinds of opportunities.”

Historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) have long been a haven for many of their students. Their campuses provide an outlet for Black students to express themselves freely without judgment and allow them to be in an environment with peers of similar ethnic backgrounds.

Although HBCUs are safe for some, that’s not the case for others. LGBTQ+ students at HBCUs often go unnoticed and ignored, with little to no protections provided to support them. They also lack many queer resources, such as LGBTQ+ medical services, a strong Pride student union, or an LGBTQ+ resource center.

Institutions’ histories influence current student culture

Many HBCUs’ lack of queer resources can partially be traced back to the history surrounding their founding—which has often been intertwined with religion, as Black churches and missionaries founded many of these universities. Between 1866 and 1882, the United Methodist Church established 70 schools—11 of which still operate—for Black people, including Claflin University in South Carolina and Clark Atlanta University. Other major HBCUs were founded by churches: Atlanta’s Morehouse College was founded by Springfield Baptist Church in 1867, and Ashbury Methodist Episcopal Church founded Mississippi’s Rust College in 1866.

Because of these religious influences, a lot of the schools’ curricula taught anti-LGBTQ+ ideas. It has also created a culture of conservatism at HBCUs, which has led to the suppression of identities that are not heteronormative. The effect of those values can still be felt today, which contributes to the reason why many HBCUs lack the support their LGBTQ+ students need.

According to a recent study, LGBTQ+ students at HBCUs experience conflict with a religion-backed binary gender system and an evolution of student identity and expression. This culture continues to suppress LGBTQ+ students who attend these institutions.

The lack of resources and support from HBCUs can change the environment for queer students at these institutions. They are often left feeling excluded and lacking community, which can lead them to other outlets to find safe spaces. Queer students may also feel pressure to suppress their identities from the lack of representation from their universities.

Some HBCUs do have resources for students, but they are not functioning properly or not well maintained, preventing students from benefiting from them and getting the support they need.

This reflects Georgette Walley’s experience as a marketing student at Savannah State University.

“On the student side of things, I feel represented but not so much from the administration side,” Walley said. “I feel like SSU does things to suppress the presence of queer people on campus. Although we do have a rainbow room, which is supposed to be a safe space for queer students, it was recently found in a very disgusting state and not maintained like the other student rooms.”

Lide recounted similar experiences with NCAT’s ill-maintained resources, which they say has affected their environment at school.

“The administration’s support of queer students is also lacking,” Lide said. “We have a department, but they don’t do a good job of supporting the queer population. There are so many ways that they can improve.”

Charting their own path

Despite the adversity queer students face at their institutions, they are putting in the work to find and create community on their campuses. Many are making a path for themselves while being unapologetically queer in a heteronormative space.

Students at these HBCUs have created their own safe spaces, such as MOSAIC, made by queer+ Hampton University students in 2017, and Florida A&M Spectrum, the school’s Pride union, which was re-founded in 2022 after ceasing operations because of COVID-19.

“You know, when you come to these institutions and do the research on them, you expect them to be this safe space for all Black people, but when you get there, the culture is not here.”

– Rykki Lide, North Carolina A&T State University student

For some students, it can be easier to find other queer students to be in community with, while others have more difficulty and feel isolated. Evan Stevenson, a Florida A&M senior, said he’s had his fair share of both feelings.

“The queer community here is very welcoming and friendly, but I feel like it’s a lot easier to find the queer people but not the queer spaces,” Stevenson said. “There are definitely some times where I feel surrounded by the queer community, but there is some lack too.”

Progressing institutional LGBTQ+ inclusion

Despite the lack of adequate resources for queer students, progress has been made to improve their experiences. Bowie State University in Maryland is the first HBCU to establish an LGBTQ+ resource center, providing information and training to support queer students and champion inclusion on campus.

Howard University offers gender-inclusive housing that is “affirming and supportive of transgender, gender nonconforming, and ally students,” according to the student affairs website. The institution’s LGBTQ+ resource center that aims to support queer students and build an inclusive community.

Spelman College, a historically Black women’s college, started on the road to progress in 2017 by allowing transgender women to be admitted. Morehouse, a historically Black men’s college, followed suit two years later to allow transgender men to be admitted.

But there is plenty of room for improvement. According to Campus Pride, a volunteer nonprofit group that advocates for safe college environments for queer students, five out of the approximately 107 HBCUs have an active LGBTQ+ resource center, and at least 24 have an active LGBTQ+ organization or safe space.

A need for change is felt by many, including Pryor, who hopes that Florida A&M University can better its space to be safer for queer students.

“I think that there are some things that are here for us, but FAMU can do a better job of highlighting all groups that are on campus,” Pryor said. “They provide a space for the queer community on campus, but it is not safe enough for us to fully be ourselves. We need to be able to feel comfortable here and be fully accepted by everyone.”

The post HBCUs Are a Safe Haven—But LGBTQ+ Students Don’t Feel Like They Have a Space On Campus appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In 1990, at a protest against the move of reproductive care units from St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in West Harlem to midtown New York that drew over 400 people, Harlem politician Charles Sutton said the hospital’s relocation would affect the quality of life for mothers and children in Harlem.

“In South Africa, children are born from womb to tomb,” Sutton, then the Democratic representative of Assembly District 70, told the Columbia Daily Spectator that March. “That, to me, sounds a lot like Harlem.”

In the 1980s and 1990s, residents and local health officials were concerned with Harlem’s high infant and maternal mortality rates. The loss of reproductive care at a local hospital felt like a critical hit, particularly in the context of the closure of seven hospitals in Harlem in the previous 15 years and the burgeoning AIDS epidemic. According to the Spectator article, 1 in 21 women who had babies and 1 in 61 infants in upper Manhattan tested HIV-positive during this time and needed more intensive medical treatment before, during, and after birth.

Though HIV-related mortality peaked in 1995, and infant and maternal mortality rates in Harlem have gone down since the 1990s, Harlem still faces a crisis in reproductive health. This includes West Harlem, the area that contains Columbia University.

Compared to wealthier neighborhoods in Manhattan, West Harlem residents—including pregnant women—experience less access to health care and poorer health outcomes than wealthier neighborhoods in Manhattan. New York City Health Department data shows that 26 percent of residents in West Harlem reported going without needed medical care in the past year, compared to 13 percent in Manhattan. Additionally, chronic conditions like hypertension, obesity, and diabetes appeared among West Harlem residents at higher rates than among Manhattan’s population as a whole.

At the 1990 rally, a Barnard College student told the Spectator she believed the university should get involved in addressing the community’s lack of access to reproductive care.

“Columbia has a lot of influence in this community, but instead they use it to build expensive apartments,” the Barnard student said. Several politicians, faith leaders, and community members echoed her sentiments.

Infant and maternal mortality rates remain high in West Harlem, according to local politicians, and West Harlem residents are over twice as likely to access little to no prenatal care during pregnancy than the average resident of New York City. While Columbia students have seen expanded access to reproductive health care, for the rest of the neighborhood, this access has remained a primary concern of West Harlem and city officials, particularly for pregnant people, leading to initiatives such as the Citywide Doula Initiative.

Yet even today, Columbia remains an uninvolved partner in the reproductive health crisis befalling its neighbors. As the Barnard student said in 1990, the University’s pursuit of building “expensive apartments,” rather than helping address the reproductive health crisis, might be exacerbating the crisis itself.

Columbia’s role in gentrifying Harlem

Originally called King’s College and established in 1754, the school was renamed Columbia University after the Revolutionary War. Its original campus was located in lower Manhattan on 50th street and Madison Avenue, but in 1896, then-University President Seth Low (who would go on to become the mayor of New York City) moved the campus to its current location in Morningside Heights as part of what one architect called Low’s desire to make Columbia “become a great urban university, in and of the city.”

At the time of the campus relocation, Morningside Heights was a predominantly white neighborhood. However, as the neighboring Harlem grew into a thriving Black and Puerto Rican community, the university began to “butt heads” with it and oppose Harlem’s development, according to a student researcher in the Columbia University & Slavery Seminar, an undergraduate seminar that investigates Columbia’s history and connections to slavery.

Columbia’s gentrification of Harlem, which students and community advocates say has accelerated since the late 2000s, has created unsustainable living conditions for many West Harlem residents. A June 2024 report found that between 2010 and 2020, the district lost 2,000 families, including 4,060 children. A majority of the people who left were Black (3,800 residents) and Hispanic (4,500 residents).

The report also noted that in Community Board 9 (CB 9)—the district encompassing West Harlem, which includes the communities of Morningside Heights and Hamilton Heights—rent-regulated private rental housing stock decreased from 65 percent in 2008 (22,500 units) to approximately 48 percent in 2022 (16,700 units)—a loss of almost 6,000 units. Additionally, data shows that over 1,000 residential and commercial evictions have occurred in CB 9 since 2017.

While eviction data does not directly correspond to homelessness, a report published in Housing Policy Debate found an association between an increase in eviction filings and an increase in homelessness in an area.

Despite the exodus of Black and Latino residents from West Harlem, the community still has a high number of residents in these demographics, and a New York City Health Department report found that “women who spent time in shelter while pregnant were more likely to be Black or Latina.” As Rewire News Group found in 2020, losing your housing is one of the greatest threats to your reproductive health.

According to Wendy Chavkin, former head of the New York City Department of Health’s reproductive health unit and a retired professor of obstetrics gynecology and public health at Columbia Medical Center, living at a city-provided shelter increases “the likelihood that you’re going to be exposed to infection, to environmental toxins or insults, to violence, to drugs, to lack of sleep because of the crowded, noisy circumstances.”

“Everything is just more difficult,” Chavkin said.

West Harlem’s reproductive landscape

In CB 9, maternal and infant health has been a rising concern in recent years, prompting action from local politicians.

According to New York City Health Department data, in Morningside Heights and Hamilton Heights, 10.9 percent of pregnant people receive late or no prenatal care, which is over twice as high as the rate of expecting individuals receiving late or no prenatal care in all of Manhattan (5.3 percent) and still significantly higher than the city’s overall rate.

The dataset also found that teenage expectancy rates in Morningside Heights hovered around 10.8 out of 1,000 girls aged 15 to 19—a rate higher than the Manhattan average (8.2 out of 1,000) and lower than the New York City average (13.2 out of 1,000). This same trend carries into infant mortality rates, which are higher in Morningside Heights and Hamilton Heights (3.5 out of 1,000) than the rest of Manhattan (2.7 out of 1,000) and lower than the NYC average (4.1 out of 1,000).

These numbers have concerned local health officials and politicians and led to the Health and Environment Committee of CB 9 unveiling a resolution in February to address high infant and maternal mortality rates within the district.

The high rate of expectant individuals not receiving adequate prenatal care may be the result of a lack of physical and/or financial access. Despite protests in 1990, St. Luke’s still moved its inpatient obstetric, pediatric, and neonatal units to its Midtown location. A group of Harlem residents brought a federal lawsuit against the hospital in 1992, alleging it had moved because many of its upper-Manhattan patients were poor and did not carry adequate insurance.

After a series of name changes, St. Luke’s eventually became known as Mount Sinai Morningside in 2020. Mount Sinai Morningside currently offers reproductive care services to West Harlem, including neonatal units and childbirth classes. However, according to U.S. News & World Report, Mount Sinai Morningside treats low-income and uninsured patients at significantly lower rates than other hospitals. Only 5.7 percent of patients the hospital treats are insured by Medicaid, and the hospital provides free and discounted care for uninsured patients that aligns with the proportion of uninsured community members at a lower rate than other hospitals.

The gap in access to reproductive health care caused by the closing of St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital has not yet been filled in West Harlem. However, programs such as the Citywide Doula Initiative have attempted to bridge this divide and provide expectant individuals with medical care before their due dates.

Jacob Dubner, a co-chair of the student-run Columbia Student Medical Outreach clinic and fourth-year student at Columbia Medical Center, said that while insurance status could be a barrier to care for a majority of patients, patients who become pregnant in New York City are eligible to enroll in Medicaid for the duration of their pregnancy and up to one year after birth, regardless of their immigration status.

However, Chavkin said the process of obtaining Medicaid could be difficult, particularly for expectant individuals experiencing homelessness during their pregnancies.

“There’s still a lot of administrative, cumbersome stuff that has to be done,” Chavkin said. “That’s the kind of thing that is just more difficult when you have less control over your daily life.”

Gentrification’s effect on reproductive justice

“The question of gentrification is, of course, linked [to reproductive health] because it’s creating a landscape of inequity,” Lindsay Harkema, an architect and an educator at Barnard College, Columbia University, City College of New York, and other institutions, said.

Harkema also co-curated the Spatializing Reproductive Justice exhibit, which opened in April. The exhibit encourages architects, health professionals, and others to think about ways that public design can facilitate reproductive justice.

Though Harkema said the exhibit did not explicitly engage with gentrification as an obstacle to reproductive justice, she found the connection undeniable.

“Reproductive justice is the right to bodily autonomy,” Harkema said. “It’s the right to have children, to not have children, and to raise families in safe and sustainable communities.”

Harkema also believes that public design can help facilitate reproductive justice, such as creating public housing in areas that can provide access through proximity to reproductive health care, or by including aspects of reproductive health care (such as abortion pills) within the housing location itself.

Financial stress caused by exorbitant rent prices can also cause negative outcomes during and after pregnancy. One report found that over 50 percent of households in West Harlem were rent-burdened from 2017 to 2021, meaning they spent over 30 percent of their income on rent.

“Once your prices go up past 30 [to] 4o percent towards rent, then you have less and less money to take care of your actual day-to-day health and bills that come with that, as well as family,” Kai Cogsville, founder of Defend Harlem, a group within the New York Interfaith Commission for Housing Equality, said.

Exorbitant rent fees leave expectant individuals and families with children with less money to pay for food or basic necessities, which can affect their health and lead to less desirable infant and maternal health outcomes during birth.

“There are all sorts of poverty-associated risks during pregnancy,” Chavkin said. For example, she noted, “You’re more likely to need to go to the doctor more often.” Though Medicaid may cover the costs of the visit, leaving work and traveling can pose financial and physical strains on individuals experiencing pregnancy regardless.

As West Harlem politicians attempt to bolster West Harlem’s reproductive health, Columbia’s students have celebrated several on-campus reproductive justice victories. In March, the university began providing on-campus abortion services to students in addition to contraceptives.

New York universities, both public and private, have taken steps to support the reproductive health care and well-being of their students, Harkema said. She called Columbia and other college campuses offering reproductive health care to students a “kind of sanctuary”—a stark contrast to the state of reproductive health in West Harlem.

However, Harkema remains optimistic that the reproductive health-care models implemented by colleges can be extended outward.

How can Columbia get involved?

Community members have urged students and the university to get involved in addressing the reproductive health-care crisis for years in West Harlem. In a Spectator editorial titled “Natal Neglect,” published a couple of days before the 1990 rally protesting the loss of natal units at St. Luke’s, the editorial board urged students to get involved in addressing the reproductive health crisis in Harlem.

“Students should take this opportunity to become involved in community projects through St. Luke’s that benefit neighborhood babies and their mothers, though such volunteers are always needed,” the editorial said. “Through such action, students can climb down from the ivory tower and demonstrate a sense of altruism that many contend is lacking.”

Today, ways for students to get involved in bolstering the reproductive health of West Harlem seem to have disappeared along with the natal units of St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. Calls for the university to help support the community’s reproductive health care, which reached their peak during the AIDS epidemic, have largely disappeared too.

However, students have a long history of advocating with their neighbors against Columbia’s gentrification and trying to address the general health-care crisis in upper Manhattan through advocacy and student-run clinics.

“I think if you’re genuinely looking to learn from your time at Columbia, you can’t really separate what goes on in the classroom from what is happening, you know, ten blocks uptown,” Hagan Feney, a coordinator with the Housing Equity Project, a Columbia student organization, said.

The Housing Equity Project works to improve the lives of unhoused community members around Columbia by providing them with food and ensuring the continued operation of two homeless shelters through volunteer staffing. In his role with the Housing Equity Project, Feney works with Defend Harlem to research how Columbia has affected West Harlem through gentrification.

Columbia Student Medical Outreach is one of several clinics run by student physicians at the Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons. According to Duber, Columbia Student Medical Outreach provides direct care services to up to 30 residents a month in Washington Heights. Other student clinics provide health-care services to residents of West Harlem.

Bryony Roberts, a professor at the Columbia Graduate School of Architecture, Planning, and Preservation and co-curator of the Spatializing Reproductive Justice exhibit alongside Harkema, said it would be “difficult” for the university to provide direct reproductive health care to community members in the way it does for students.

“But I think that there’s a lot of ways that the university can invest in all of the other infrastructural and environmental aspects of reproductive justice,” Roberts said. To Roberts, that begins with listening to the needs of community groups and members and collaborating with them in “creating healthy environments, reducing pollution, increasing access to healthy food, … [and] good, safe transportation.”

Harkema expressed a slightly different view.

“Now, unfortunately, our public institutions and funding networks are totally stripped down such that we can’t do everything without private support,” Harkema said. “That’s true in education. That’s true in the public space.”

And, Harkema added, “it’s always kind of been true in reproductive health care as well.”

“Certainly everyone benefits when everyone has access to the resources and the care that they need,” Harkema continued. “So it really doesn’t make sense to prioritize the needs of one population … that’s associated with the private institution and not everyone else in the immediate proximity.”

The post How Columbia’s Gentrification Impacts Reproductive Justice in West Harlem appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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When couples fight, they can get flooded. Learn how to navigate stress and conflict so that you don't damage your relationship.

The post How Stress Affects Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Stress, Affects, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/GettyImages-1490754225-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-stress-can-cause-relationship-dissatisfaction/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:09:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "63095", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Say YES to kids, Say YES to BOOKS!", "title_slug": "say-yes-to-kids-say-yes-to-books", "title_hash": "b6221d656629129d3bee727034e6c45d", "summary": "Say YES to kids, say YES to BOOKS! I fell in love with reading books at a very tender age. My mother, an underpaid civil servant, could not afford the books that I craved to read. She eventually registered me in a local library where I spent every afternoon after school through out my primary […]", "content": " $\"Say$

Say YES to kids, say YES to BOOKS!

I fell in love with reading books at a very tender age. My mother, an underpaid civil servant, could not afford the books that I craved to read. She eventually registered me in a local library where I spent every afternoon after school through out my primary school days. I eventually read the entire books in the kids’ section of the Library until the Librarian who was so impressed by my voracious hunger for reading named her new-born daughter after me.

$\"Say$

Today, as an adult, I see that same need, passion and hunger among many young children including my own daughter who loves to read anything in print. Reading is one of the best skills any child can develop to be the best version of themselves in future. Unfortunately, a lot of children cannot read because they are either not exposed to reading and education and can not also afford to buy the books to hone their reading skills. According to the UN, across Sub-Saharan Africa, 202 million children and adolescents are not learning and have no access to book. Nearly 90% of children between the ages of about 6 and 14 will not meet minimum proficiency levels in reading if they are not exposed to proper education and provision of the right books.

A few years ago, through my foundation, Lively Stones, I began to reach out to children and teenagers in schools and communities where I distribute free books that will sharpen their minds and horizon. Within the past 7 years, we have successfully distributed thousands of books to many vulnerable and indigent children.

Our strategy is to provide books that are morally and psychologically sound because we have observed that children have been exposed to a lot of morally-deficient materials from all kinds of media.

To this end, we are partnering with the SAY YES TO KIDS CAMPAIGN to distribute 5 million books to indigent children in Lagos State from September to October.

We invite you to join us to make this campaign a success. Let us begin to reach our young children early. Every parent, every adult and every well-meaning individual should join this campaign with us.

How Do You Join This Campaign?

With as little as Six Hundred Naira (=N= 600.00), you can get a book for a child. You can sponsor the purchase of books for 10 – 1,000 children. The more books you sponsor, the more we can achieve our goal of reaching five million children in Lagos State.

Kindly send donations to the following:

LSZA SPECIAL PARTNERSHIP-PARALLEX BANK – 100003642

PLEASE SEND PROOF OF PAYMENT TO WHATSAPP: 08029870309

For more information and enquiries, please call:

08024118055

08033784069

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True Life Story: Dating A Single Mother With A Spoilt Child-Please Advise Me

Hello Lively Stones,

Please I need advise. I have been dating this young lady, we met on Facebook and we got talking. She is from a well to do home. Her parents are top government officials. This lady is very brilliant, soft spoken and her personality is so beautiful. I instantly felt drawn to her because she does not even behave like someone from a wealthy home. After chatting for a while, I told her I liked her and wanted us to take the relationship serious.

That was when she told me that she has a son. That she got pregnant for one of her father’s associates who is a wealthy guy but they are not together. She told me her son is her everything and she wants a man who would accept him as his own when she gets married. At first, I was taken aback cos I am a young man and never really considered dating someone with a child. But this lady is just too amazing, I decided to accept her and her kid.

So we have been dating and things are looking good. Her family are all amazing but the only problem is her kid, her son with the wealthy guy. The boy is spoilt and does not like me. He is five years old. He feels that I want to replace his dad and he wants his dad and mom to be together. So every time am around, he becomes uncontrollable. He cries at everything I try to do. His mother is surprised because they all say he is a good kid and very friendly and respectful to everyone.

So its surprising that the little guy throws a tantrum around me. He does not speak to me except he wants to shout at me. When I try to talk to him calmly, he screams and says, do not talk to me, you are not my dad. I have tried to bribe him with gifts and toys but he refuses, always saying his dad got him better ones already. He also does not let me near his mom, he starts clinging around her when am around.

I have spoken to my girl, that her son needs boundaries and she says its me who needs to understand children and find a way to win her son. That the guy will come to love me eventually. But its almost a year we been together, yet, the son still does not like me. I love my girl so much. I can’t wait to marry her but I am having a very difficult time cracking this young dude. Now, this bad boy even lied that I hit him when I only just tried to play with him.

More From Lively Stones

I really want to propose to my girl but this is one major issue but people are telling me, all will be fine but its really bothering me. Maybe I am not cut out to be patient with another person’s kid….or is it really my inexperience with kids?

Please do you have any tips on how to win her son or is this a red flag that I should proceed no further with this relationship even though I love his mom so much?

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

Share This

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$\"man$ Tired of wet fish kisses from girls? With the “10 seconds to live” make-out gambit, you can get girls locking lips with you like it’s their final breath.

This post by Mr.Rob originally appeared on our forum here.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Get, Girls, Kiss, You, Passionately, with, the, 10, Seconds, Live, Gambit", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "97", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/kiss-gambit-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/get-girls-kiss-you-passionately-10-seconds-live-gambit", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62939", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Should You Sit Next to a Girl on a Date or Across from Her?", "title_slug": "should-you-sit-next-to-a-girl-on-a-date-or-across-from-her", "title_hash": "d19f333312b71283611df1a295515a26", "summary": "Sit across from a girl on a date and trying to touch her feels weird. Sit next to her and touch is easy but eye contact gets tough. Here’s WHERE to sit. \nHi guys. I hope you are all doing great.\nToday, I would like to discuss a relevant topic when you are on a first date with a girl: whether you should sit next to or across from a girl on a date.\nI have yet to hear discussion on this topic. I believe that many men have asked themselves this question. This post can benefit beginners as well as experienced guys.\nBeginners may not know how to position themselves during dates. It may seem minor, but even the little things can make a huge difference, especially for beginners. Pros can usually damage control or make up for mistakes, while beginners often cannot.\nThe bottom line is that everyone will benefit from this.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"first$ Sit across from a girl on a date and trying to touch her feels weird. Sit next to her and touch is easy but eye contact gets tough. Here’s WHERE to sit.

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I would like to discuss a relevant topic when you are on a first date with a girl: whether you should sit next to or across from a girl on a date.

I have yet to hear discussion on this topic. I believe that many men have asked themselves this question. This post can benefit beginners as well as experienced guys.

Beginners may not know how to position themselves during dates. It may seem minor, but even the little things can make a huge difference, especially for beginners. Pros can usually damage control or make up for mistakes, while beginners often cannot.

The bottom line is that everyone will benefit from this.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Should, You, Sit, Next, Girl, Date, Across, from, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/sit-next-to-or-across-from-girl-on-date-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/should-you-sit-next-girl-date-or-across-her", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62937", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Say When She Says \"Add Me on Instagram\"", "title_slug": "what-to-say-when-she-says-add-me-on-instagram", "title_hash": "f81c763bd77826986533c6b76ffea3d4", "summary": "Girls today use “add me on Instagram” as their default close line – and brush off. If you’d like to be MORE than just another nameless follower, read on.\nThere’s an epidemic right now of women shifting men over to Instagram followers when those men try to go for the contact close.\n\n“Add me on Instagram!”\n“Follow me on Instagram!”\n“Hit me up on Insta!”\n“Let me give you my IG!”\n\n^ do any of those sound familiar?\nMen who are new to pickup are going through the same process over and over again, where they are feeling pressure from girls to comply with the “Instagram reflex” and do, then it doesn’t go anywhere, then it happens again with the next girl, then the next, until eventually they figure out that adding girls on Instagram is a big waste of time.\nI am seeing guys go through this discovery process over and over, each man discovering it separately/independently, after much individual frustration and failure.\nRather than force you to have to go through that, I figured I’d give you a sho", "content": "

$\"what$ Girls today use “add me on Instagram” as their default close line – and brush off. If you’d like to be MORE than just another nameless follower, read on.

There’s an epidemic right now of women shifting men over to Instagram followers when those men try to go for the contact close.

“Add me on Instagram!”
“Follow me on Instagram!”
“Hit me up on Insta!”
“Let me give you my IG!”

^ do any of those sound familiar?

Men who are new to pickup are going through the same process over and over again, where they are feeling pressure from girls to comply with the “Instagram reflex” and do, then it doesn’t go anywhere, then it happens again with the next girl, then the next, until eventually they figure out that adding girls on Instagram is a big waste of time.

I am seeing guys go through this discovery process over and over, each man discovering it separately/independently, after much individual frustration and failure.

Rather than force you to have to go through that, I figured I’d give you a shortcut:

How to handle the Instagram reflex in a way that’s far more likely to lead to actual dates & lays.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "What, Say, When, She, Says, Add, Instagram", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "103", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/add-me-on-instagram-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/what-say-when-she-says-add-me-instagram", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62936", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Balancing Women's Conformist Sides & Wild Sides", "title_slug": "balancing-womens-conformist-sides-wild-sides", "title_hash": "b68e45c2e02fc950dafe5b0aead64676", "summary": "Every woman has a social – or conformist – side and a sexual – or wild – side. Most guys though only talk to one of these sides. To succeed at seduction, you must speak to both.\nSomething that makes guys’ heads spin when they discover it is the seeming dual nature of women:\nThat women are at once both this extremely conformist sex, and also significantly dirtier than men are.\nIn fact, I would say that grasping this ‘female contradiction’ and UNDERSTANDING is one major differentiator between the men who are absurdly good with girls from all the rest. Every master pickup artist and every talented natural intuitively gets this ‘contradiction’.\nGuys who have not reached mastery yet try to treat these two ‘sides’ of women as if they are different people. Okay, there’s the conformist girl, they think, who is probably an uptight good girl, and you have to be really nice and not upset her with sexual things. Oh! Now there’s the SLUT, whom you can be REALLY forward with, they say, and don’t hav", "content": "

$\"women's$ Every woman has a social – or conformist – side and a sexual – or wild – side. Most guys though only talk to one of these sides. To succeed at seduction, you must speak to both.

Something that makes guys’ heads spin when they discover it is the seeming dual nature of women:

That women are at once both this extremely conformist sex, and also significantly dirtier than men are.

In fact, I would say that grasping this ‘female contradiction’ and UNDERSTANDING is one major differentiator between the men who are absurdly good with girls from all the rest. Every master pickup artist and every talented natural intuitively gets this ‘contradiction’.

Guys who have not reached mastery yet try to treat these two ‘sides’ of women as if they are different people. Okay, there’s the conformist girl, they think, who is probably an uptight good girl, and you have to be really nice and not upset her with sexual things. Oh! Now there’s the SLUT, whom you can be REALLY forward with, they say, and don’t have to worry about embarrassing at all!

Then the conformist good girl never does anything with them, and they later find out she was having sloppy sex with her new bad boy boyfriend. Next, the slut also spurns their advances! They feel indignant at both these: where does the good girl get off acting like a good girl if she’s going to have sloppy sex with bad boys? Where does the slut get off rejecting ANY guy when she’s a SLUT?

Men who’ve fully integrated women’s conformist and dirty natures in their minds though have no problems with these girls – and in fact treat the good girl and the slut more or less the same. Sure, they’ll be a little raunchier around the slut and a little less so around the good girl, but their overall approach is going to be the same; unlike the less skilled guy, who opts for totally different approaches for both these women.

What is it the skilled guy gets that the unskilled guy does not?

And how do you unite these two seemingly contradictory aspects of female nature?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Balancing, Womens, Conformist, Sides, Wild, Sides", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/women-conformist-wild-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/balancing-womens-conformist-sides-wild-sides", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62935", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Indirect Approach: No Interest, Push-Pull, or Indirect Classic?", "title_slug": "the-indirect-approach-no-interest-push-pull-or-indirect-classic", "title_hash": "ba0d9270114e2a849b040d8dfdd3027a", "summary": "There’s more than one way to use the indirect approach with women. Whether to opt for “no interest”, “push-pull”, or classic indirect, the choice is yours.\nHey, I hope you are all doing great.\nToday, I’ll discuss different indirect game styles.\nThe goal of indirect game is to withhold showing interest in a woman, keeping it your level of desire for her a mystery to her. The idea is to wait to fully reveal your card (yet) to keep her intrigued and wondering whether or not you genuinely like her. You only show interest once she has shown interest in you, keeping her on her toes.\nWhether or not you are an indirect or direct style type of guy, this and my future articles should interest you. Having an open mind and trying out all game styles is wise. You never know when you will find another game type that suits you better. The truth in pickup and seduction is that although there may be some material out there that can be considered inferior, most material is not, and sometimes, it is all ", "content": "

$\"indirect$ There’s more than one way to use the indirect approach with women. Whether to opt for “no interest”, “push-pull”, or classic indirect, the choice is yours.

Hey, I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I’ll discuss different indirect game styles.

The goal of indirect game is to withhold showing interest in a woman, keeping it your level of desire for her a mystery to her. The idea is to wait to fully reveal your card (yet) to keep her intrigued and wondering whether or not you genuinely like her. You only show interest once she has shown interest in you, keeping her on her toes.

Whether or not you are an indirect or direct style type of guy, this and my future articles should interest you. Having an open mind and trying out all game styles is wise. You never know when you will find another game type that suits you better. The truth in pickup and seduction is that although there may be some material out there that can be considered inferior, most material is not, and sometimes, it is all a matter of tradeoffs. All methods offer pros and cons and provide benefits but at a cost.

The question is, what cost are you willing to pay for the benefit? This may differ from man to man. Guys who dislike one game type are usually less knowledgeable and need to fully grasp the method they dislike. So, gain all the knowledge you can, experiment, and then decide.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Indirect, Approach:, Interest, Push-Pull, Indirect, Classic", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "111", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/indirect-approach-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/indirect-approach-no-interest-push-pull-or-indirect-classic", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62934", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Reasons Your Ex Keeps Crashing Your Dreams", "title_slug": "10-reasons-your-ex-keeps-crashing-your-dreams", "title_hash": "d789406b0be25d6121eaac4d146c3ccb", "summary": "Dreams can be mysterious, often leaving us puzzled when familiar faces, like an ex, show up unexpectedly. It’s…", "content": "Dreams can be mysterious, often leaving us puzzled when familiar faces, like an ex, show up unexpectedly. It’s…", "keywords": ", Reasons, Your, Keeps, Crashing, Your, Dreams", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/imag.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-reasons-your-ex-keeps-crashing-your-dreams/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62933", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Understanding Farms Strength vs. Gym Strength", "title_slug": "understanding-farms-strength-vs-gym-strength", "title_hash": "0380a58afe3f56525c4ff8ecc8b5c82f", "summary": "Understanding the Pros and Cons of Farm Strength & Gym Strength", "content": "Lift 80-pound bales of hay. Tend to livestock. Walk, push, pull, carry, throw. Fix things. Eat a hearty dinner at the end of the day — meat and potatoes. No protein shake or creatine. No bench press or squat rack. Just physical conditioning brought on by manual labor. \r\nThis concept is often referred to as “farm strength” and compared to “gym strength.” Someone might have an anecdote about their friend’s dad being able to lift more weight than them even though he’s never set foot in a gym — he just spent his whole life doing physical work.\r\n \r\nRELATED: The Emotional Benefits of Working Out\r\nBut is being farm strong better than being gym strong?\r\n \r\nThe discipline, hard work and consistency it takes to set goals, get stronger with each lift, eat clean and sculpt your physique can be just as impressive as the idea of being strong in a rugged way. \r\nThe truth is, there are benefits and lessons to learn from both types of strength. So let’s unpack them:\r\n \r\n\r\n‘Farm Strength’ vs. ‘Gym Strength’\r\n\r\nThe idea of being “farm fit” may be inspired by the lifestyle of farmers, but it refers to a broader concept: you can be in great shape through activities performed in daily life, such as a job that keeps you on your feet.\r\n \r\nRELATED: How to Get Six-Pack Abs\r\n“Farm strength really focuses on functional movements. It allows you to build strength in ways that will benefit your natural movement throughout the day. It enhances your ability to be fit in ways that make an impact on your daily life,” according to Antonio Harrison, virtual reality fitness coach at Supernatural.\r\n“Gym strength,” on the other hand, is cultivated in a more controlled setting. “It supports specific physical development and goals like bodybuilding or endurance training,” says Dr. Chris Mohr, fitness and nutrition advisor at Fortune Recommends Health. That said, you can train functionally in the gym too. \r\nBeing “farm strong” may translate into a ripped physique — or it might not. Having a bodybuilder’s physique may help you move a large piece of furniture — or it might not. It depends on different factors.\r\n \r\nFor example, results can plateau when you do the same thing day-in-day-out, whether at the gym or outside of it. You may get big biceps from performing isolation exercises, but that won’t help you be as strong as incorporating compound movements such as deadlifts into your routine. \r\nStrength can also be impacted by your flexibility and mobility, whether you’re a farmer or powerlifter. In other words, things aren’t so black-and-white when it comes to the “farm strength” versus “gym strength” debate. “Both [types of fitness] increase your strength and shape your body composition in different ways,” adds Harrison. \r\n\r\nPros and Cons of ‘Farm Strength’\r\n\r\nBeing “farm strong” comes with several upsides — and you can take cues from them even if you don’t actually have a physically demanding job. \r\n“Gym enthusiasts can learn quite a bit from the ‘farm fit’ philosophy. Integrating exercises that replicate everyday tasks can build not only aesthetic strength but practical strength too, which is useful in daily life and helpful in preventing injuries,” says Mohr, who adds that variety of movement is another important benefit of “farm strength.”\r\n \r\nThere’s also the fact that being “farm fit” often involves time spent outdoors, which can reduce stress and improve your mental health. \r\n“You may not even think of it as exercise.” adds Mohr.\r\n \r\nHowever, staying active because of certain life demands isn’t the same as training for a specific goal. One downside of “farm strength” is that it won’t help you improve your performance in a specific sport. Additionally, it may not help you meet aesthetic goals in a targeted way. \r\n\r\nPros and Cons of ‘Gym Strength’\r\n \r\n\r\nBeing “gym fit” is certainly valuable too. It’s intentional. You can personalize your workout plan to meet specific goals, such as building strength to become a better cyclist or runner. You can incorporate functioal training in your routine to reap some of the benefits of being “farm fit” — minus the farm. \r\nMost gyms offer a wide variety of equipment to help meet your needs, along with access to personal trainers who can guide your efforts. In other words, you have full control over your fitness journey when working out at the gym.\r\n \r\nHowever, it also costs money. And if you have a sedentary job and lifestyle that involves a lot of sitting for the rest of your day, it can only take you so far in terms of health benefits. Regular movement is key. \r\nRELATED: Get Bigger Biceps With a Bodyweight Workout\r\n \r\nUltimately, staying active is what matters the most. Regular exercise strengthens your heart, muscles and bones. It helps keep you mobile as you age and reduces the risk of disease. Whether you achieve this through your lifestyle without ever going near a weight room or whether you make going to the gym a priority doesn’t matter. \r\nAs Harrison puts it, anything that gets you moving and focused on a healthy lifestyle is a win. When it comes to “farm strength” versus “gym strength,” he wouldn’t consider one better than the other.”\r\n \r\nIf anything, mixing both can be a good idea, notes Mohr: “Recognizing how both can be rewarding may lead to a more holistic approach to fitness and sometimes the best ‘prescription’ is to mix things up for interest.” \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\nBest Adjustable DumbbellsHow You Should Change Your Workouts as You Age Workout Recovery Tools", "keywords": "Understanding, Farms, Strength, vs., Gym, Strength", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "200", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/understanding-farms-strength-vs-gym-strength/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1724869395.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/understanding-farms-strength-vs-gym-strength.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62930", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Survey Shows Astrology Is a Factor in Tons of Modern Breakups", "title_slug": "survey-shows-astrology-is-a-factor-in-tons-of-modern-breakups", "title_hash": "722d6c6655357738e6c54760d48aa6f4", "summary": "Have You Been Dumped for Astrological Reasons? You're Far From Alone", "content": "The Story\r\nDespite there being no scientific proof for its validity, astrology has been all the rage in recent years, particularly with young people. \r\nHowever, a new survey by student-oriented online platform EduBirdie shows that it’s more than just a fun fad — it’s also impacting people’s relationships and leading to breakups. \r\nRELATED: The 5 Phases of a Breakup\r\nThe Snapshot\r\nThanks to its claims to be able to help people better understand themselves and those around them based on their star signs, astrology has surged in popularity as of late. \r\nAccording to EduBirdie’s data, just over half of young people in America may fully believe in the power of horoscopes, with a further 29% subscribing to its ideas only when they feel like it. \r\nThat leaves just 20%, or 1 in 5 from the survey’s 2,000-person sample, completely uninterested in astrology’s starry-eyed claims. \r\nWhere it gets fascinating — and potentially concerning — is the responses addressing how people extrapolate from astrological beliefs to real-world decision making. Apparently, 1 in 5 respondents to the survey have been dumped due to their astrological sign. \r\n\r\n“Sorry, Kyle, but you were born in late July, so we’re just not compatible.” \r\nOften, however, astrology leads to the connection not coming together in the first place, as just over 30% of young people see so-called “incompatible” star sign as a dealbreaker that warns them not to date a person.\r\n\r\nOf course, these things cut both ways. One in eight people, apparently, said their passion for astrology led to them getting dumped.\r\nThe Lesson\r\nThe way people understand their lives (and their love lives) changes all the time. Fifteen years ago, things like love languages and attachment styles were virtually unknown; today they’re commonplace knowledge for many people, and love languages are referred to in many dating apps. \r\nRELATED: How Attachment Theory Can Help Your Relationships\r\nSimilarly, astrology has waxed and waned in popularity over the ages. It’s not hard to imagine a time in the not-too-distant future when it’s fallen out of style and seen as cringe and reductive to judge people’s infinitely complex and evolving personalities based on the accident of their birth. \r\nHowever, until then, you may have to run the risk of getting dumped for spurious reasons. Good luck out there! \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Break Up With Someone NicelyPost-Breakup Rules to Follow During HeartbreakBad Reasons to Break Up With Someone", "keywords": "Survey, Shows, Astrology, Factor, Tons, Modern, Breakups", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/survey-shows-astrology-is-a-factor-in-tons-of-modern-breakups/askmen-lead-image-template-6-1725030167.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/survey-shows-astrology-is-a-factor-in-tons-of-modern-breakups.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62931", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Grooming Tips All Men Need to Know", "title_slug": "grooming-tips-all-men-need-to-know", "title_hash": "ed47ed87dc7ab5fdc7d04944d2c2672c", "summary": "Transform Your Appearance With 8 Simple Rules", "content": "You wash. You shave. You freshen up with some type of body care product before leaving the house. Sounds simple enough, right? If that’s the extent of your “grooming routine,” you’re likely leaving off some essential steps that could make a real difference to the quality of your day-to-day manly maintenance.\r\nWe’ve tested what seems like every grooming product out there along with subjecting our mugs to a range of grooming tips lauded by experts (and those who just claim to be). Fear not, though. This trial and error has led to the following list of 10 essential grooming tips compiled from our own testing and from some noted grooming experts.\r\nRELATED: Best Beard Conditioners\r\nWe made sure each of these is easy to follow and repeat, with tangible potential results.\r\n\r\n8 Grooming Rules to Transform Your Appearance for the Better\r\n\r\n1. Stick to One Face Cleanser\r\n“There are many different types of cleansers that we could talk about, but just know that you need one of them,” says CALI Hndsome founder Rocky Collins. “Choose one that doesn't have parabens or sulfates (read the bottle). Best habit is to use it twice per day — in the morning to clear off the overnight sebum production, and at night to wash off the debris/sweat/oil from the day.”\r\n2. Hydrate in More Ways Than One\r\n“My motto is ‘nurture your soul to get a glow’,” says Gena Price, Director of Spa & Wellness at ALiLA Napa Valley. “Bringing in water is an amazing element for wellbeing, from simple hydration to steamy hot towels on the face and neck, a hot to cool hydrotherapy shower or a nice long detoxifying or soothing soak in the tub … tending to our wellbeing these days is truly a key to navigating these times and shouldn’t require deep pockets.”\r\n3. Fix Your Sleep and Sleep Hygiene\r\nIf you’re not getting the recommended 6-8 hours of sleep each night (depending on your body’s specific needs), it’s time to work on that. We all know how vital sleep is to overall health, and that includes your skin. There are plenty of natural supplements out there that can help promote restful shut-eye (please go over the labels with a fine-toothed comb first), or seek out help if you feel your mental health is preventing restorative slumber. You’d be surprised how much everything else improves once your sleep does.\r\n4. If You’re Exploring Makeup, Stick to the Basics\r\n“When it comes to makeup, the choice can be overwhelming, but it’s important not to panic,” says Danny Gray, founder of male-focused makeup brand War Paint for Men. “The truth is, as a beginner, there’s really only a couple of items that should become your must-haves. For me, that’s a primer, foundation and/or tinted moisturizer and concealer, but the great thing about makeup is that it’s a really personal thing, so whatever makes you feel great should become your staple.”\r\n5. Beard Hacks Are Key\r\n“If you're like me and always prefer to keep sharp lines in your beard, then know that over time you will be shortening the width of your beard (without even realizing it),” Collins says. “Every few days I take my Andis clippers and create new fresh lines, but with that I can be pinching closer into my beard (by trying to keep all of the hairs perfectly in line). Over some time I often notice that my beard might become skinnier than I prefer. Every few months I'll cut my beard really low and let the natural beard lines grow back into place, in all of its thickness.”\r\n6. Understand What’s Going on Your Skin\r\nMen are notorious for only looking at the front label when selecting grooming products. However, it's even more important to look at the back label,” says American Provenance founder Kyle LaFond. Ingredients on the back are listed in order of volume, which is why we often see “water” as one of the primary ingredients (as a key filler). Essentially, what it boils down to is using products with less synthetic ingredients as less chemicals on the skin usually leads to a happier skin.\r\n7. Toner is a Great Post-Shave Option\r\n“Toners get weird for guys, in part because the name is misleading. It's not actually meant to change the color of your skin tone,” Collins says. “You can more so think of it as a ‘wellness shot for your face’. To be applied after cleansing, toners will penetrate deeper under the skin and re-balance your skin with proper hydration and healthy minerals that are often washed away during cleansing.” Because toners hydrate and often include anti-inflammatory ingredients, they make a great post-shave right after rising and before moisturizing.\r\n8. Anti-Aging Is Fine, Embracing Aging Is Better\r\nThere’s obviously an entire industry devoted to looking younger and warding off Father Time, but what if instead of fearing it, we embrace it? The effort and money required to ward off aging can get overwhelming, but more and more men are simply following tenets like good sun hygiene and the aforementioned sleep improvements to help stay fresher-faced, longer.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Best Mouthwash You Can Buy\r\n\t25 Ways Style & Grooming Have Changed Since 1999\r\n\tBest Charcoal Face Masks for Men", "keywords": "Grooming, Tips, All, Men, Need, Know", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/skin/grooming-tips-all-men-need-to-know/askmen-lead-image-template-1725045899.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/skin/grooming-tips-all-men-need-to-know.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62932", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Sleep Supplements", "title_slug": "best-sleep-supplements", "title_hash": "f32c1ac7a7f07af8aba0a6e229524597", "summary": "The Shortest Route to Better Health, Improved Body Composition & Enhanced Cognitive Function", "content": "Quality sleep is arguably the greatest contributor to overall health and well-being, and a necessary component of any real muscle gain or fat loss regime, and yet it’s also the first thing people are willing to sacrifice, whether for work or a social life.\r\nDon’t believe us? In study after study after study, poor sleep quality and/or inadequate sleep time was associated with increases in stress, decreases in energy levels, reduced fat oxidation, decreases in cognitive performance, impaired muscle protein synthesis, and a daytime decrease in testosterone levels of between 10% and 15%. All these negative effects because you failed to prioritize a good night’s sleep and stayed up binging Netflix or gaming? Doesn’t seem worth it to us.\r\nRELATED: Experts Share Their Hacks for a Good Night’s Sleep\r\nBut what if you constantly try to go to bed early but can’t manage to fall asleep quickly, or seem to spend more time tossing and turning than actually snoozing? Sleep difficulties are a common problem, especially in our era of constant communication and ubiquitous screens, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t solutions to help you turn things around. The following sleep supplements have been specifically designed to help correct your sleep cycle, improve sleep quality, and help you spend more time in the deeper sleep stages, promoting greater restfulness and recovery. \r\nGHOST® SLEEP\r\n\r\nThe latest product from GHOST® is a sugar-free, gluten-free sleep aid designed to promote better rest and recovery. It’s currently available in two delicious flavors, Apple Pie and Blue Dream, but it’s the ingredient list that caught our eye, a comprehensive compendium of the most effective, scientifically-proven compounds linked to improve sleep quality. Some of these are basic, and commonly found in most sleep aids, including tryptophan (an amino acid used in the production of serotonin, an essential neurotransmitter in the sleep cycle), melatonin, and GABA, but some of them are much less commonly used or have only recently been proven to improve sleep quality. These ingredients include the adaptogen ashwagandha, the amino acid glycine, and colostrum, derived from mammalian breast milk. And needless to say, in classic GHOST® fashion, all of these ingredients are included in their clinically-proven, effective doses, so you can rest assured you’re getting both the right quality and the right quantity of each sleep promoter. \r\n$49.99 at GhostLifestyle.com \r\nApothékary Do Not Disturb\r\n\r\nWant to not only improve your sleep but also make falling asleep easier and faster? Pick up Apothékary’s aptly named Do Not Disturb, concocted from a potent blend of herbs and plants like mucuna, holy basil, ceylon cinnamon, rosa damascena, as well as coconut milk powder. If you’re a tosser and turner, someone who dreads going to bed because it usually takes you ages to fall asleep, this is the perfect solution, an all-natural, non-addictive sleep supplement that’s also fast-acting, taking you to sleepy town from within 30 minutes to an hour after ingestion. \r\n$39 at Apothekary.com \r\nDr. Barbara Sturm Good Night Sleep Food\r\n\r\nAnother herbal compound, Dr. Barbara Sturm’s Good Night Sleep Food employs lavender flower extract, valerian, passion flower, and hops, together with niacin, 5-HTP, and vitamins B12 and B6, to calm your nervous system and prime your body for a full night’s sleep. One of their more exotic ingredients is purslane, also known as little hogweed, a succulent loaded with nutrients and antioxidants and a naturally occurring source of melatonin.\r\n$75 at DrSturm.com \r\nOLLY Sleep Gummy\r\n\r\nIf you don’t like the idea of drinking a concoction before bed and instead prefer popping a delicious gummy, check out the best-selling OLLY Sleep Gummy. They’re available in packs of 50, 60, 70, 90 and 120, in a delicious Blackberry Zen flavor that will make it hard for you to eat just two at a time, but it’s their potent blend of melatonin, L-Theanine, and botanical ingredients like lemon balm and chamomile that makes this an especially soothing sleep aid.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \r\nHerb Pharm Organic Valerian Root Extract\r\n\r\nOne downside to sleep compounds is that it can be difficult to determine which of the active ingredients your body is best responding to. If you’d rather keep things simple, this organic Valerian root extract from Herb Pharm is an excellent place to start. They source from only certified organic and fresh sources, delivering one of the highest-quality tinctures on the market, and their liquid form is super fast-absorbing, making it easy to take right before bed to still ensure a restful snooze.\r\n$14.38 at Amazon.com \r\nNature Made Wellblends Back To Sleep\r\n\r\nWant a gentle sleep complex that won’t knock you unconscious for nine-plus hours? Nature Made’s Wellblends Back to Sleep uses just three ingredients (melatonin, L-theanine, and GABA), with a lower dose of melatonin, for a gentle sleep aid that still acts quickly thanks to the fast-dissolving tablets, effective within 30 minutes of ingestion. Finally, the Mixed Berry flavor is on point, making this sleep aid something you’ll actually look forward to taking.\r\n$20.24 at Amazon.com \r\nRelaxium Sleep Professional Strength\r\n\r\nRelaxium’s Sleep Professional Strength is the heavy-duty sleep aid you reach for when your sleep schedule is really bad. Do you do shift work? Are you a student in exam mode, burning the midnight hours? Whatever the reason for your sleep schedule, sometimes you just need to ensure yourself a good nine hours of rest, and this extra-strength formula, developed by a neurologist, could be just the solution you need. It features melatonin, ashwagandha, valerian root extract, GABA, chamomile, L-tryptophan and magnesium, all in very high doses, so consider this your fail-safe option when nothing else seems to help. \r\n$29.99 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\nBest Sleep Products for Hot SleepersHow to Get Better SleepDo You Need 8 Hours of Sleep?", "keywords": "Best, Sleep, Supplements", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/best-sleep-supplements/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1725028269.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/best-sleep-supplements.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62929", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Mutual Masturbation?", "title_slug": "what-is-mutual-masturbation", "title_hash": "41776e2bb1fd2ecfe721141f886884c7", "summary": "Masturbation is a normal, healthy and all-around awesome practice. \r\nAnd yet, it’s something that often goes under-discussed between couples. But how come? After all, people of all ages do it, and it’s popular regardless of gender: according to the 2015 Indiana University National Sex Study, approximately 90% of men and 74% of women have masturbated (and those are just the ones who were willing to admit it).\r\nSo, if you’re currently in a relationship, chances are the both of you are doing at least a little self-loving on the side. \r\nAnd why wouldn’t you? There are tons of benefits to masturbation, from stress reduction to sleep aid to higher overall sexual confidence. Solo sex sessions can also enhance your coupled sex life, helping penis owners improve their sexual stamina, and women (who often have more complicated relationships to their own pleasure) become more orgasmic.\r\nBut there’s another way that masturbation can boost coupled sex life: mutual masturbation. \r\nWhile there’s noth", "content": "Masturbation is a normal, healthy and all-around awesome practice. \r\nAnd yet, it’s something that often goes under-discussed between couples. But how come? After all, people of all ages do it, and it’s popular regardless of gender: according to the 2015 Indiana University National Sex Study, approximately 90% of men and 74% of women have masturbated (and those are just the ones who were willing to admit it).\r\nSo, if you’re currently in a relationship, chances are the both of you are doing at least a little self-loving on the side. \r\nAnd why wouldn’t you? There are tons of benefits to masturbation, from stress reduction to sleep aid to higher overall sexual confidence. Solo sex sessions can also enhance your coupled sex life, helping penis owners improve their sexual stamina, and women (who often have more complicated relationships to their own pleasure) become more orgasmic.\r\nBut there’s another way that masturbation can boost coupled sex life: mutual masturbation. \r\nWhile there’s nothing wrong with masturbation separately, sharing your self-love with someone you love can also have serious benefits. \r\nRELATED: Why Every Guy Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex \r\nFor some people, mutual masturbation harkens back to an earlier era, before they were ready for penetrative sex. In this context, mutual masturbation is often treated like a kind of sexual loophole, a way for two people to experience sex and orgasms together without actually doing the deed.\r\nBut mutual masturbation can also be part of a varied and healthy sex life in relationships alongside penetrative sex, as well. So here are a few reasons why you and your partner should turn your sexual solos into a duet: \r\n\r\n3 Benefits of Mutual Masturbation\r\n\r\n1. It’s Seriously Sexy\r\nIf you’re an average guy, you’ve probably watched a fair amount of porn in your life. Well, consider this: Instead of watching strangers getting sexy on a screen, you’re watching someone you know in real life do it right in front of you, moaning and stroking and close enough to touch.\r\nIn fact, mutual touching can definitely be a very sexy addition during mutual masturbation! You could even switch back and forth between each of your touching yourselves and then each of you touching the other person, like a sort of manual-stimulation 69. \r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Handjobs \r\nOne of the things that sets masturbation and sex apart is that masturbation is generally a very private act. The fact that your partner is giving you a front row seat to such an intimate experience — and vice versa — is extremely hot. For many people, it can feel like a voyeuristic rush, like you are witnessing something that no other person gets to see.\r\nFor lots of people, there is something undeniably arousing about seeing a partner take their pleasure into her own hands — not just because of the clear sexual context, but also because it can be really hot when someone is confident in pleasuring themself, and good at it, too. \r\nRELATED: How to Finger Someone With a Vagina \r\n2. It Can Be a Learning Experience\r\nIf you’ve never watched your partner masturbate before, you may be tempted to pull out a bucket of popcorn and a drink and enjoy the show. \r\nBut instead of sitting there in awe while they get themself off, consider paying close attention to what they’re doing — especially if your partner’s anatomy is different from yours. \r\nWhy? Because no one knows how to pleasure your partner better than they do, and if, for instance, she has a clitoris and you have a penis, she knows a lot better than you do what feels good to her clitoris!\r\nUnfortunately, new lovers do not come with an instruction manual. Every person likes different things below the belt, and the best way to discover the right way to touch somebody is to let them show you how they like to be touched. Of course, talking about it is a great way to learn, but some people are visual learners who will find watching it happen more helpful. \r\nSo, if that’s you, while you’re masturbating together, take note of the way your partner touches themself and how their body responds to each new movement. Do they go fast or slow? What kind of pressure are they using? The more you pick up from their self-loving practices, the better lover you can be to them!\r\n3. It’s a Great Way to Break a Sexual Dry Spell\r\nFor people in longer-term relationships, it’s no secret that the sex sometimes seems to dry up. \r\nWhether it’s due to stress or other health issues, a lack of free time, falling into a sexual rut or another common relationship problem, sometimes you find that what had started out as a hot and heavy, sex-filled relationship has slowly become all but sexless. \r\nFrom this new unsexy place, it can be hard to know how to get back to where you started from, and the pressure of fixing things may itself start to feel too stressful for sexy times. \r\nHowever, mutual masturbation is a great tool in such scenarios. It can be considered sort of a midway point between sex and its absence — it’s a way for two people to experience sexual pleasure together without many of the things that make actual sex tricky: there’s no performance anxiety or erectile issues, and it may be easier for the two of you to sync your climaxes. \r\nGetting into the habit of masturbating together, then, can be Step 1 in bringing some sexiness back into your relationship, and make it easier to then progress onto having more involved sex again. \r\n\r\nHow to Initiate Mutual Masturbation\r\n\r\nNow that you’ve got the “why” down, let’s talk about the “how.” As tempting as it might be to simply invite yourself into your partner’s next solo session, it’s safer to introduce the subject ahead of time. \r\nEspecially in hetero relationships, women may be more likely to feel uncomfortable at first due to societal pressures such as “slut-shaming.” If that’s the case, let her know how sexy you think it would be, and assure her that you will take it as slow as she needs. \r\nTo set the mood and help her relax, try lighting some candles (aromatherapy massage candles, anyone?) and turning on a sensual playlist. \r\nThen, sit facing or lie next to your partner on the bed or somewhere else that’s comfortable, and take turns playing with yourself while the other watches. \r\nIf your partner feels uncomfortable being face-to-face, you can always sit behind them and have them lean back against you while they masturbate. If they’re OK with it, you can try running your hands all over their body, kissing their neck and engaging other hot spots while they do their thing.\r\nOnce you’re both feeling warmed up and comfortable, stop taking turns and start working together — turn your solos into a duet. As you get closer and closer to the edge, you can try holding eye contact and mimicking each other’s rhythms to bring yourselves to orgasm, simultaneously! \r\nThen all that’s left to do is snuggle close and share the intimate moment together.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nMale Masturbation Techniques to TryThe Best Masturbation Toys for MenDoes Your Girlfriend Masturbate?", "keywords": "What, Mutual, Masturbation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "163", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/dating/love_tip_60/81_love_tip-910064-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/81_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 06:00:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62556", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why I Went Back to School in My 40s to Work in Reproductive Health Care", "title_slug": "why-i-went-back-to-school-in-my-40s-to-work-in-reproductive-health-care", "title_hash": "eb2c26802faaba47004a180a071d4470", "summary": "Opinion: The war on abortion care compelled me to go back to school to become a family nurse practitioner. \nThe post Why I Went Back to School in My 40s to Work in Reproductive Health Care appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

I wish I could say it was one single event that inspired me to return to school in my 40s to obtain my family nurse practitioner (FNP) degree, but it wasn’t. Sure, the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022 was crushing, particularly for a pro-abortion resident in a rural, deeply red (read: lots of MAGA flags) community. But still, I didn’t really act.

I complained. I fretted. I donated to abortion funds. I doom-scrolled. I glued construction paper to poster boards and marched in protest. I fretted some more. I went out and hate-purchased all the Plan B from several local drugstores (which have all since found a home in a domestic violence shelter in a state with a total abortion ban), but I didn’t do anything. Truthfully, like many others, I wasn’t sure what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to help people who needed abortion care.

Then came the near continuous avalanche of events—some big, some seemingly inconsequential—after the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. It seemed like each day brought a fresh new horror. “Trigger” bans, patients being told to wait and bleed in parking lots, OB-GYNs leaving their state because their practice has been targeted, and an absolute sea of vitriol aimed at Dr. Caitlin Bernard, who provided abortion care to a 10-year-old rape survivor.

It has turned into a war on reproductive health. The target: anyone seeking control over their reproductive health and future, and all the people who care about them. It’s infuriating. It’s disgusting. And it’s heartbreaking. I would be moved, but then I would always come face to face with the question, “what can I do?” and my momentum withered.

Somewhere among the dismay, that question shifted to “how can I help?” and then “how can I be most effective?” Suddenly, the answer couldn’t be more apparent. I would return to school to obtain my FNP to work in reproductive health. This is how I will fight in the war on bodily autonomy. This is my sole focus. This is how I can help. I will advocate for and provide services to people who want and need them.

It was that simple all along.

Protestors holding up signs reading \"safe abortion is a human right!\" — *Stephanie Kenner/Shutterstock*

I can remember the first time I truly witnessed abortion as health care. I have been a registered nurse for 18 years, most of which have been spent in the post-anesthesia care unit (PACU), aka the recovery room, where patients wake up after surgery. As a PACU nurse, I remember taking care of a patient who was critically ill before her surgery: heart rate too high, blood pressure too low, breathing too fast, feverish—borderline septic shock. She was sick and needed a surgical termination of pregnancy, otherwise known as a procedural abortion.

I don’t remember all the details (nor would I share them), but the one thing I’ll never forget was the patient’s absolute relief and joy when she woke up in the recovery room. “I’m so glad it’s out,” she said. She knew she could only start healing once the cause of her strife was removed. Within the short time I had her in the recovery room, her vital signs started to stabilize, and she began to feel better. She had needed health care in the form of an abortion.

This example is sure to goad ridiculous “but her life was threatened, there are exceptions for that” comments, and I am here to say: Don’t go there. I can unequivocally say that I don’t want lawmakers determining what they deem to be “medically necessary or life-threatening.” I heard the Supreme Court arguments about whether women physically losing parts of their reproductive anatomy (fallopian tubes, ovaries, etc.) is life-threatening. In these situations, the medical providers present should determine what is “medically necessary,” and it shouldn’t have to devolve into a life-threatening situation before they are permitted to act.

Was the woman I took care of in a life-threatening situation? She was critically ill, but she was breathing on her own, and her heart was beating on its own. She wasn’t actively dying, but her condition was decompensating. What are the quantifications of “medically necessary”? Heart rate less than 30 beats per minute? Respiratory rate less than six breaths per minute? Who decides?

Here’s the thing: Medicine is a gray area. What works for one patient may not work for another. And it is nuanced. There are more factors to consider besides a patient’s outward vital signs and what (non-life-threatening) organ they may lose. Blanket statements about health care are dangerous—particularly when the statement has legislation attached.

Three protesters holding up signs that read, from left to right: \"Abortion is health care. Abortion is a right.\", \"Abortion is health care. Abortion is essential.\", and \"bans of our bodies!!!\" — *Aspects and Angles/Shutterstock*

I only retell this story because it highlights what I think abortion access should be: a decision between a patient and their health-care provider, with zero restrictions. Nationally. The health-care coverage in Missouri should be the same as that in Vermont. I want to know that I will have universal access if I visit another state. My health problems don’t change when I drive across state lines—why should my health-care options? Pregnancy is complex and can wreak havoc on even a healthy body. How can someone else dictate what the best choice is for me, my body, and my future? How dare they even try!

Most importantly, in an emergency, I want health-care providers to act in my best interest—not wait until I’m near death for fear they’ll lose their medical license. No one should be made to suffer waiting to cross some imaginary “life-threatening” threshold (if that’s even an available option) to receive medical treatment. And no one should have to parade around their trauma or disclose why they want an abortion (or contraceptives; shout out to you, potential future SCOTUS decision). I frequently tell my patients: “Your business is your business,” and that couldn’t be any truer than it is for reproductive health. I recognize these are lofty goals, but they’re the right ones. Period.

So here I am, at 43 years old, with (nearly) my first full year of FNP classes under my belt. I’ve learned how to make a Google Doc and attend Zoom sessions. I’ve brushed up on my APA skills and been introduced to Grammarly. Yes, there were hoops to jump through—applying to programs, figuring out finances, reacquainting myself with discussion posts, and the overall expectations of a graduate-level program—but it doesn’t matter. I’m getting through them. I’ve changed my work schedule to accommodate school, and I now work 12-hour shifts at a hospital every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Of course, I’d like to have a free weekend again instead of writing a paper on public health, but, and I say this with my full chest: This. Is. Important. That is my motivation. None of the hoops will matter in the end. What I eventually will be doing is what matters. Ideally, I’d someday like to open a clinic. TBD. School first, grand plans second.

The post Why I Went Back to School in My 40s to Work in Reproductive Health Care appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Kamala Harris is brat. Tim Walz has infinite aura points. And Democrats have declared that Donald Trump is in his flop era.

Politicians want the Gen Z buy-in. They’re memeifying the 2024 presidential campaign and creating (admittedly very funny) targeted TikToks, all in an effort to tap the more than 8 million young people who have become eligible to vote since the 2022 midterms.

Brazen attempts to secure the youth vote are nothing new, and both of the country’s major political parties are working overtime for it. But votes are earned, and so far, none of these folks seem to be asking what change Gen Zers want to see in our day-to-day lives. Fancam edits of Harris and Walz might earn the Kamala HQ TikTok account a 20-year-old’s follow, but that doesn’t mean it’ll convince them that the adults in charge will help them access on-campus health care or figure out how to cast an absentee vote.

As Pratika Katiyar wrote for Nieman Reports, student journalists are the best route to understanding the issues that matter most to our youngest voting bloc. So, we at Rewire News Group asked a bunch of them to report on what they care about most: accessible voting, on-campus reproductive care, their school’s history of gentrification, and more.

To gear up for the election, we’re extending our monthly Campus Dispatch series over the course of two weeks. This week and next, you can read five pieces by Gen Z writers covering the range of issues they face on their campuses and beyond, from how fewer OB-GYN medical residents in states that ban abortion are creating a health-care desert to what LGBTQ+ students at HBCUs need to feel more included on their campuses. Plus, one woman tells us why the overturn of Roe v. Wade compelled her to return to nursing school in her 40s.

I hope you’ll close out your summer reading with these stories, some of them reported over the course of several months, and check back next week for the second installment of our special issue.

The post Editor’s Note: Rewire News Group Goes Back to School appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Editor’s, Note:, Rewire, News, Group, Goes, Back, School", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "97", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Campus-Dispatch-Editors-Note-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/27/editors-note-rewire-news-group-goes-back-to-school/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-09-01 05:37:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62555", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How This Southern University Is Leading on Campus Reproductive Health", "title_slug": "how-this-southern-university-is-leading-on-campus-reproductive-health", "title_hash": "0a6203c3482e5079d56441abd429df77", "summary": "Following the overturn of Roe v. Wade, Vanderbilt University created a role to connect students and faculty with unbiased information and services regarding reproductive health and parenting.\nThe post How This Southern University Is Leading on Campus Reproductive Health appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In 2022, following the Supreme Court’s overturn of Roe v. Wade, Tennessee’s “trigger ban” went into effect. It prohibits abortion at all stages of pregnancy with limited medical exceptions, including to prevent death or serious or irreversible physical health consequences, or if the fetus is not viable outside of the womb.

The state also enforced targeted regulation of abortion providers (TRAP) laws, which are designed to create costly and medically unnecessary structural barriers to abortion care, such as requiring providers to have admitting privileges at a nearby hospital. Additionally, a Tennessee “abortion trafficking” law passed in April criminalizes any adult who assists a minor in obtaining or concealing an abortion.

Despite its policies that restrict bodily autonomy, Tennessee schools are not required to teach sex education. If they do, a curriculum is not required to be comprehensive and must “emphatically promote only sexual risk avoidance through abstinence,” according to state code.

Students are not only struggling to navigate a rapidly changing health-care and political landscape, but also face a lack of unbiased, easily accessible information on reproductive health.

And reproductive health care is only a piece of the pie: During the 2015 to 2016 school year, more than 1 in 5 undergraduate students in the United States had children, and nearly 70 percent—or around 2.7 million—of all student-parents were mothers.

At Vanderbilt University, the school has been working creatively to mitigate gaps in students’ reproductive and parenting needs, and their awareness of available resources.

Holistic approach to supporting students

In anticipation of the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization decision, Vanderbilt’s Office of Student Health and Wellness set up a task force to create a system that would support its community around reproductive health and parenting.

The task force was established in early June 2022 by the Office of the Provost in coordination with the chancellor’s office, along with leadership at the Divinity School, Law School, the School of Medicine, the School of Nursing, and their partners at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

Its initial focus was to hone in on the impact of a statewide abortion ban, particularly on clinical care, student and employee health, and academic instruction. Pam Jones, Vanderbilt’s associate vice chancellor for health and wellness, said the task force was created with a person-centered, programmatic approach to also drive discussion and programming.

“My role was to think innovatively about what we put in place that helps support our community,” Jones said. “We wanted to be sure our students had access to everything they needed.”

In September 2022, Jones brought on Hannah Proctor, a certified nurse-midwife, as the university’s inaugural reproductive health and parenting resource coordinator and set up a support fund that provides up to $2,000 per student to access reproductive and parenting resources, such as funding for unexpected medical expenses, fertility treatment, diapers, and baby formula. Proctor had previously worked for Vanderbilt as a COVID-19 tracer, and Jones said that while being a midwife was not a requirement for the role, she had Proctor in mind while thinking of the health and parenting resource position.

“Midwives are so incredible at having unbiased conversations with people because they are there to support the individual and whatever that individual’s choices are,” Jones said. “So I knew the skill set was perfect for the role.”

Though Vanderbilt has reproductive health services on campus, Proctor’s role is the first formalized position to provide information and financial support outside of a clinical role.

The council took a “multi-pronged approach” to educate students on this new resource, including telling students already using the campus counseling center and asking each individual school to inform its students. But most students discover Proctor by word of mouth.

“That’s been the most effective when it comes to someone feeling comfortable enough to reach out to me,” Proctor said.

Since the role is not clinical, Proctor cannot give students medical advice. This also prevents bias and allows the student to dictate the direction of their conversation and the nature of the resources provided within their comfort level and personal preferences, Proctor said.

Proctor also provides information on how to access basic reproductive health services, like booking your first OB-GYN appointment or preparing for a first Pap smear.

“People can feel pretty overwhelmed being away from home and having their first appointment,” Proctor said. “Right now the current guidelines [are that] you don’t need your first Pap until you’re 21 years old, and that’s usually when people are in college.”

And, while reproductive health is the most sensitive aspect of the role, the vast majority of services Proctor provides are related to education and parenting, according to preliminary data collected by Proctor and Jones.

“The biggest concern I run into is graduate students who want to start building a family,” Proctor said. “They have questions around local resources, or a lot of unexpected out-of-pocket costs.”

With this holistic approach, Vanderbilt hasn’t received any pushback from the state or university.

According to Jones, the recommendations from the task force were “almost immediately” accepted by the provost, and then the chancellor, because they were “consistent with Vanderbilt’s values of supporting our community.”

“We became a very facile university during COVID [lockdowns],” Jones said. “We had a huge COVID response and brought people back to campus much earlier than most people did. So, we already have this culture of taking a very team-based approach to developing these types of programs.”

She added that similar programs had already been put in place for LGBTQ+ issues on campus as well.

Legal counsel was also involved in the development of the program, and the task force spent “a lot of time trying to understand the law” before Proctor was able to speak with students.

“As we developed her scripts, we were really careful about what we could and couldn’t do,” Jones said. “The legal landscape was rapidly changing, so this was an ongoing process. We put it out there, we started learning, and we can continue to develop and grow it.”

Can Vanderbilt’s model be replicated?

A Vanderbilt University \"wellness kiosk\" vending machine that dispenses items like Opill birth control, Neosporin, Tylenol, tampons, and menstrual pads. — *Austen Risolvato/Rewire News Group*

Students at other universities face similar barriers over accessing reproductive health, but they see potential challenges with implementing a similar role on their campus.

Nikita Kakkad and Frances Cates are leaders of the University of Texas at Austin’s chapter of Emergency Contraception for Every Campus, which aims to expand reproductive health resources and facilitate conversations on campus.

According to Kakkad, anxiety around reproductive health has only heightened since the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Texas had already enacted various laws, including SB 8, that restrict the flow of information between providers and patients, limit reproductive health-care options, and prohibit “aiding and abetting” an abortion by providing transportation, distributing information on how to self-administer abortion care, or assisting with funding for an abortion.

Cates says Texan reproductive health-care providers have had their practices “turned upside down” due to the state’s evolving policies. Not only are potential patients in the dark, but providers are also unsure of when and how to disclose reproductive health information.

For a task force like Vanderbilt’s to be viable at UT Austin, Cates said it would need to be marketed more as a maternal health role with reproductive health as a “subcategory” to circumvent controversy surrounding reproductive health care.

“There’s kind of this dichotomy between how the university operates, and then how the Texas government operates,” Cates said. “A lot of the faculty at the university do lean towards a more pro-reproductive health agenda, but then because we’re so intimately connected to the state, there’s a lot of pressure on the higher-ups at the university to really not be making statements about supporting reproductive health.”

Ariel Young, a master’s student at the Ohio State University College of Nursing, echoes Cates and Kakkad’s sentiments.

“If providers have a certain perspective [on reproductive health], they won’t give full information about options,” Young said. “College campuses absolutely do need people that have adequate, up-to-date information about reproductive health care, because everybody in college is sexually active for the most part, and not everybody has good sex education.”

But while Cates is confident that a reproductive health and parenting role on campus would be “useful to so many students,” she cautions that public schools in Tennessee, her home state, may face additional barriers in implementing a similar program, such as funding and campus stigma toward reproductive and sexual health.

Dr. Gretchen Ely, a professor and the PhD program director at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville (UTK) College of Social Work, and a faculty affiliate in the UTK Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Program, said that despite her belief that “student needs are not being met by the university,” Proctor’s role would be hard to replicate at UTK.

“We can’t refer people to abortion services, and I doubt we can give them specific information on how to go out of state,” she said. “We don’t even have a building to refer people to; our Planned Parenthood was set on fire. Even if they wanted to help people, there’s nowhere to send them in Knoxville.”

UTK’s “land grant” designation suggests that the work they do at the university is on behalf of the betterment of the state as a whole, according to Ely. So, the university could argue that creating a reproductive health task force fulfills that mission.

But, other reproductive health initiatives at UTK have been shut down or had funding pulled by Tennessee lawmakers. “Sex Week,” for example, is a yearly event hosted by the UTK student organization Sexual Empowerment and Awareness at Tennessee, which provides sex education to students and highlights conversations around sexual health and safety.

In 2013, the event was condemned by then-state Sen. Stacey Campfield, Fox News, and online blogs, which led to the university’s chancellor pulling all state funding. This past spring, Sex Week was produced entirely on donations, outside support, and campus spaces.

This kind of history leads Ely to doubt the success of a council that touched on reproductive health, but she still believes a maternal health initiative could be sustainable.

“Because reproductive health access doesn’t align with the conservative worldview, eventually [state legislatures] would come and say we can’t do that, or at least pieces of it,” Ely said.

But Kakkad is hopeful that UT Austin could develop a similar initiative, even if it gets pushed forward as a general women’s health and wellness program.

“What Vanderbilt did is great, and more schools that are in restrictive states could use it,” Kakkad said. “Schools that are in permissive states could probably still use it. I hope they set a precedent.”

The post How This Southern University Is Leading on Campus Reproductive Health appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In 2021, Kiernan Cobb was the only registered nurse working at a reproductive and sexual health clinic in Oklahoma City. It meant that when they had to be away (often at the clinic’s other branch in Kansas), they had to bring on a temporary nurse. That was never ideal because it not only involved orienting someone new every time but was also occasionally catastrophic—like the day the temp nurse walked off the job, abandoning patients and grinding the clinic to a halt.

Despite the fact that nurses are the largest group of health-care providers and abortion is one of the most common health-care procedures, nurses’ crucial role in abortion care has often been overlooked and underleveraged. When you need an abortion, a physician or other advanced practice provider (like a midwife) can empty your uterus with a procedure or prescribe abortion pills. But experts say that is often only a fraction—albeit a crucial one—of the care you may need.

What if, for instance, you are not sure what kind of abortion you want and need someone to talk you through the pros and cons of each? Who will answer your questions about pain management and medication interactions? If you need sedation, who will start your IV, provide the medications, and monitor your vital signs throughout? Who is ready with rescue meds if you have an allergic reaction? Who will hold your hand? Who will explain your options for contraception or fertility going forward?

This kind of care is provided by nurses and other health-care professionals, and it is essential to abortion access—without it, clinics can’t function. But often, conversations about access center on the number of providers who can themselves perform or prescribe abortions.

That singular focus misses a simple truth: Without a full team, particularly nurses, high-quality abortion care doesn’t exist. The problem—one that has only gotten worse with the fall of Roe v. Wade—is that there are not enough of them.

The shortage reflects a perfect storm of problems. Generally, adequate nurse staffing is an issue in many settings nationwide. And specifically, nurse education and training on abortion is extremely hard to come by.

“We haven’t optimized the workforce,” Monica McLemore, a registered nurse and professor at the University of Washington who studies reproductive health, rights, and justice. “What we teach is driven by exams and employers, as opposed to by what society needs.”

McLemore said nursing education centers the needs of acute care hospitals, where a small majority of nurses are employed. This neglects other kinds of outpatient community care, particularly abortion care, which has been stigmatized and siloed.

But it’s not just a practical function of employment. Most nurse education also tends toward conservatism, and in interviews, multiple nurses said abortion was barely mentioned in nursing school.

“Most nurses are not trained in abortion care,” Cobb said. “When I was in nursing school, we got zero training on abortion. I really pushed for it.”

The result is that even nurses like Cobb who are interested in reproductive care may not understand that nurses are needed in abortion or see a way to develop a career in that field. In other words, silence on abortion in nursing education creates a negative workforce loop. This is a longstanding problem.

“Nurses were far more likely to regard abortion as part of routine health care if it was part of the curriculum and if they had opportunities to work through their feelings about the procedure,” said Karissa A. Haugeberg, a history professor at Tulane University who has studied nurses’ attitudes toward abortion through time.

By contrast, McLemore pointed out that anti-abortion groups have both been strategic in outreach to nurses and sought to weaponize the close nurse-patient relationship—to the point that nurses have turned patients in when they suspect an illegal abortion.

“Nursing is ground zero,” McLemore said. “Nurses have been long identified by the Charlotte Lozier Institute and the Susan B. Anthony group and all the anti-abortion people as the discipline to be able to operationalize anti-abortion rhetoric. So you’ve got nurses calling CPS [Child Protective Services] and the police on our patients. And they think that is our job.”

In fact, McLemore said actions like these violate nursing ethics.

The nurse-staffing bottleneck is a major contributor to lack of abortion access. It has become only more pressing in states where abortion is legal, as those states see an influx of out-of-state patients, resulting in more volume and, later, more complicated procedures at clinics, necessitating more staffing.

Filling a gap with more nurses

Last fall, California Gov. Gavin Newsom took the first large-scale step in addressing this issue when he launched a statewide program called the Reproductive Health Services Corps, a $20 million effort that will increase abortion training opportunities for all health-care workers, including nurses, pharmacists, physicians, physician and medical assistants, doulas, and EMTs.

One of the program’s partners is Nurses for Sexual and Reproductive Health (NSRH), a nationwide education and advocacy organization, founded in its current form in 2018 but already a leader in training nurses in abortion care.

In the last two years, the group has developed two programs aimed at improving abortion nurse staffing. One is a training in abortion care residency, a six-month hands-on program for nurses to gain clinical abortion skills. The other is an abortion nursing corps, a short-term travel program that places expert abortion nurses in clinics that need them.

“We knew that there is a huge gap for nurses, specifically registered nurses, to get training in abortion care,” said Anna Brown, a registered nurse and NSRH’s deputy director of programs. “And we also knew that our organization was specifically prepped to fill that gap because we’d already been creating online education and doing group learning with our nursing members on comprehensive sexual and reproductive health care, including abortion.”

Cassandra Durian is a registered nurse who went into the profession because she was interested in trauma-informed community and reproductive care. In nursing school, she quickly felt alienated by the culture.

“I felt very out of place,” Durian said. “I was questioning if nursing was for me. I was like, ‘Is this what nursing is?’ I wasn’t getting to the depths that I thought I would in terms of health and support of communities.”

As a new nurse, she was working in inpatient critical care, and that’s when she came across NSRH’s training in abortion care residency.

Durian enrolled in the residency and completed 80 hours of training at the Partners in Abortion Care clinic in College Park, Maryland plus a complementary online course developed by NSRH that included modules and seminars on both abortion nursing skills and the broader context of abortion care: how abortion funds work, what state laws require, how and when to disclose that you work in abortion.

Nurses interviewed for this story pointed out that there is a stark contrast between the larger political and workforce problems (brutal) and the actual patient care (deeply rewarding).

In Durian’s hands-on hours, she followed various clinic team members and learned how to counsel patients, ask the right questions for a pregnancy-specific medical history, and provide moderate sedation—a specialized skill—for the procedure. She found that she loved the work, especially the opportunity to deeply connect with patients: The complexities of how people came to need an abortion often required individualized problem-solving.

“We’ve had situations where they’re in an abusive situation and they couldn’t come home without a pregnant belly,” Durian said. “So they might come for a fetal demise injection and then go home and say, ‘The baby’s not moving, let’s go to the hospital.’ And that’s her way of getting out of the relationship.”

Since completing her residency, Durian now works as needed at Partners. Without the training and support it provided, she isn’t sure how she could have become an abortion nurse.

“A lot of places require labor and delivery or midwifery experience,” Durian said. “I didn’t have any of that.”

Partners clinic co-founder Morgan Nuzzo, a certified nurse-midwife, said she is very aware of the value of abortion nurses and the barriers that make them scarce.

“We need more nurses in leadership, and we need really talented nurses in abortion care because our patients deserve to have that level of care,” Nuzzo said.

She said one of the reasons she and her co-founder, a physician, are so happy to participate in the residency is because NSRH handles all the logistics: The organization ensures licensing and background checks and provides wraparound support and education.

“They give us a stipend to train these folks,” Nuzzo said. “We’re not required to do it for free. And that’s unique. In this work, there’s a lot of, ‘Do it for the mission.’ And it’s like, well, don’t set yourself on fire to keep everybody else warm, either. And we’ve been doing that for generations, and a lot of us are at the end of our ability to keep doing that without more funding.

“When we’re under siege all the time, we just try and piece together what we can,” Nuzzo added. “This program was created with intention and purpose, and it is innovative in a way that makes it exciting to participate in.”

Though this problem is somewhat opaque to the public, most people who work in abortion are painfully aware of it. Latona Giwa is a doula, a registered nurse, and the executive director of Midwest Access Project, an organization that trains providers in full-spectrum reproductive care. Giwa said most of the people they train are physicians and other advanced practice providers, but increasing the organization’s outreach to registered nurses is a major goal.

“I’ve seen so many nurses hold a patient’s hand through a procedure, physically touch a patient and comfort them,” they said. “A nurse can say, ‘I will be right here with you.’ And I think that means the world to folks who are going through something they’ve never gone through before and don’t know what to expect or are afraid.”

And Giwa pointed out, in the worst-case scenario—and as Cobb’s experience shows—no nurse can mean no abortions that day.

“We are hearing from clinicians that a lack of registered nurses in their clinics is a huge barrier to providing care,” Giwa said.

There is also the fact that people show up needing information about pregnancy options everywhere in the health-care system.

“If we train RNs, we then can have nurses in primary care settings, in care navigation, in telemedicine, in hospitals—everywhere in peripartum care who are helping patients navigate when they need access to abortion care,” Giwa said. “If we get nurses to be abortion advocates, navigators, and care providers, we are really reaching entire communities.”

Training for the future of abortion care

Another facet of this problem is the fact that there were expert abortion nurses working in states where abortion is now essentially banned, like Texas, who are now out of a job—or at least out of a job in their chosen specialty. In response, NSRH has organized an eight-week travel program that matches seasoned abortion nurses with clinics that need them, often in other states.

“Obviously, it’s devastating for patients, but it’s also devastating for nurses who have chosen this career,” Brown said. “That’s an immense amount of knowledge that’s potentially going to be lost. And we know that clinics are seeing increased volume, are seeing patients at later gestation, because of abortion bans, which means you might need more staff. So we came up with this idea of a travel nurse program.”

To make travel feasible, NSRH gives nurses a travel and living stipend for the eight weeks they will be working away from home; they also ensure the nurses are licensed in the state they are traveling to and help with additional insurance and support.

When Cobb was the nursing director at the Kansas branch of their clinic, they worked with NSRH to have a travel nurse placed there.

“The program allowed us to bring somebody in who was vetted,” Cobb said. “That’s a big thing in abortion staffing—you have to really vet folks. Sometimes it’s hard because even if folks are not anti, I really need somebody who is pro-abortion, not just pro-choice, and I think there’s a big distinction.”

Cobb emphasized there are nursing skills particular to abortion and to outpatient care—for instance, if it is difficult to get an IV inserted in an ER, a nurse can call another nurse, or a paramedic, or an anesthesiologist. In the clinic, that’s not an option. But not only that, there is specific emotional work around abortion care.

“This is an emotionally draining job,” Cobb said. “You’re taking on additional risk that you’re not taking on in other areas of nursing. And that can feel really rewarding because you’re providing a service that people need—and it can also take a toll on you.”

Brown agrees.

“Dealing with protesters is draining,” Brown said. “Having safety concerns for your family is draining. And clinics that are able to stay open are typically seeing an increase in volume of patients. So the staff are feeling that strain as well; we’re meeting a higher need.”

Despite all this, nurses interviewed for this story pointed out that there is a stark contrast between the larger political and workforce problems (brutal) and the actual patient care (deeply rewarding). In fact, for many nurses, working in outpatient abortion care is a dream job, one in which teamwork is emphasized over the strict hierarchy of the hospital, where connection with and care for patients is paramount. Cobb said that the work itself is a joy: “When you’re actually sitting with a patient, it’s the best space in health care, truly.”

In that sense, these programs are a radical reimagining. Imagine if abortion care were not always on a shoestring. Imagine if holistic, supportive, safe nursing care was available to every abortion patient. Imagine nurses who actually love their work environment because it centers patient care.

“It is not a drag to work in reproductive health,” McLemore said. “That’s a lie. It’s some of the most fulfilling, the most deeply complicated and complex work, rooted in the messiness of human experience. It is a place where we need our strongest nurses.”

The post Meet the Organizers Trying to Fix a Shortage of Abortion Nurses appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Under a new policy issued August 20, the Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) will no longer allow trans Texans to change the gender markers on their driver’s licenses or state identification cards.

A department-wide email announcing the policy also directed employees to forward all such requests and accompanying documentation to a particular email address where they will be stored. A screenshot of the email was shared with Rewire News Group by the advocacy organization Equality Texas.

“All court order sex change documentation that cannot be processed should be scanned into the record and the customer’s name and DL/ID number be emailed to DLCourtorders@dps.texas.gov,” the email reads. “Please notate on the email in the subject line ‘Sex Change Court Order.’”

“Texans will now be subject to involuntary surveillance for simply trying to update a government document,” Brad Pritchett, interim CEO of Equality Texas, said in a statement. “There is no clear reason why this information would be useful to the DPS, nor is there a legitimate reason to deny gender marker updates on driver’s licenses.”

Name changes won’t be processed, the email adds, if they are accompanied by gender marker changes. Under the new policy, gender changes will only be granted if an ID shows the wrong gender due to a clerical error.

In a statement, DPS said the “Office of the Attorney General (OAG) has recently raised concerns regarding the validity of court orders being issued which purport to order state agencies—including DPS—to change the sex of individuals in government records … the lack of legislative authority and evidentiary standards for the Courts to issue these orders has resulted in the need for a comprehensive legal review by DPS and the OAG.”

Trans Legal Aid Clinic of Texas is advising those who have a court order but haven’t yet updated their gender markers to hold off unless or until the policy is suspended, rescinded, or changed, attorney and clinic board member Pete Makopoulos-Senftleber said.

“You’re going to get turned away anyway,” Makopoulos-Senftleber said. “So at this point, there’s really no upside to trying.”

But the risk of surveillance is even more significant.

“They are compiling a list,” Makopoulos-Sentfleber said. “The only speculation is what it’s going to be used for, but the existence of the list alone, in my opinion, is scary. I don’t want to be on any government list for any reason.”

“We don’t know … if some or part of the information will be subject to or released in Public Information Act requests, at which point people’s information could be scrutinized or utilized by bad actors,” he added.

As for the questions DPS raised about the “validity” of court orders to change gender markers, courts issue them according to standards laid out in Texas law, Makopoulos-Senftleber said.

“There’s zero validity to the argument,” he said of DPS’ statement. “The argument is a red herring.”

Pritchett echoed this.

“Updating a gender marker in the state of Texas is a complicated process that requires the time, energy, and resources to secure a court order,” he said. “If Texas agencies are free to ignore Texas court orders, what other parts of the law will they ignore?”

The move raised especially loud alarm bells for advocates given Attorney General Ken Paxton’s previous attempts to surveil trans Texans.

In 2022, Paxton’s office asked DPS for a list of people who had changed the gender markers on their state IDs. An employee familiar with the request told the Washington Post that Paxton’s office wanted “the number of people who had had a legal sex change,” and a list of names. Paxton’s office would not confirm it made the request.

This came just months after Paxton issued a legal opinion saying that gender-affirming care for minors could be considered child abuse, and Gov. Greg Abbott directed the state’s Department of Family and Protective Services to investigate families seeking such care. That directive is partly blocked as a legal challenge proceeds, but other anti-trans policies enacted by the Texas government in recent years are still in effect, including bans on gender-affirming care for minors and restrictions on what sports teams trans athletes can join.

“There are 92,900 trans adults in Texas,” Prichett said. “Just like people who change their names after marriage want their correct name on their license, trans Texans want their driver’s license to reflect their gender. We use our IDs to navigate all areas of life: driving, voting, employment. Having an ID that reflects who you are is a basic form of dignity that many take for granted.”

But for the foreseeable future, trans Texans are stuck in limbo. For now, Makopoulos-Senftleber said, the message is: “Don’t go to DPS.”

The post In New Policy, Texas Agency Won’t Change Gender Markers on IDs appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This is how we heal the “mean girls” culture: we hold, we include, we love, we empower, and we regard our girls.

The post I’m Raising Girls Who Are “Includers” Instead of “Mean Girls” appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "I’m, Raising, Girls, Who, Are, “Includers”, Instead, “Mean, Girls”", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/GettyImages-1217088683-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/im-raising-girls-includers-instead-mean-girls/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-26 14:58:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "62019", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Nigerian man cries bitterly after his fiancée dumped him because ‘he doesn’t have money and works as a security guard’", "title_slug": "nigerian-man-cries-bitterly-after-his-fiancee-dumped-him-because-he-doesnt-have-money-and-works-as-a-security-guard", "title_hash": "f33b77ef4224625056ac4ac299ef0c73", "summary": "A Benue man, Kenny, who works as a security guard at a hotel in Abuja, has been left heartbroken after his fiancée dumped him. Sharing photos of himself with teary eyes, he claimed that his fiancée broke up with him because he doesn’t have money and works as a security guard. According to the Isa […]", "content": " $\"Nigerian$

A Benue man, Kenny, who works as a security guard at a hotel in Abuja, has been left heartbroken after his fiancée dumped him.

Sharing photos of himself with teary eyes, he claimed that his fiancée broke up with him because he doesn’t have money and works as a security guard.

According to the Isa Mustapha Agwai Polytechnic, Lafia graduate, the lady accused him of intentionally disgracing and disrespecting her publicly by posting photos of himself in his uniform on social media.

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$\"Nigerian$ $\"Nigerian$ $\"Nigerian$ $\"Nigerian$ $\"Nigerian$ $\"Nigerian$

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Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s relationship issues began on their honeymoon in Lake Como, Italy, a source familiar with the situation tells Page Six.

The couple’s honeymoon included numerous public outings packed with PDA and shopping.

However, Ben was reportedly not happy with having the cameras following him.

“He was unhappy with paparazzi following them. She is an international superstar, and he acted like it came as a surprise that they would be followed around,” the source said.

When they weren’t in front of the cameras, “They would barely speak to each other during what was supposed to be the happiest time of their life. He sold her on him being a changed man, and that lasted a very short time,” the source claimed.

Another insider told the publication that Affleck finally came to his senses about their renewed love once his sobriety “started to settle in with normality.”

When they started seeing each other again, “He was just getting sober … He was in a vulnerable state, and whatever their chemistry played into that … He was in this frenzied, excitable state,” the insider said.

Affleck has been open about his struggles with alcohol in the past. He’d reportedly last returned to rehab in 2018.

The whirlwind romance soon wore off once he adjusted to his sober life.

Affleck started craving more privacy, and he could no longer take Lopez’s level of celebrity, according to the insider.

“He doesn’t want [the entourage] and all the drama that comes with that in his home,” the source said.

Meanwhile, sources previously said Ben still considered J.Lo’s feelings as their relationship came to an end in the spring.

Sources described him as “very protective of her,” which fueled his decision to hold off on filing for divorce.

Unfortunately, there was no way of getting around humiliating her.

“She’s furious. He has humiliated her. He was the one who initiated getting back together … She made a big deal that he was the love of her life,” a source previously said.

Lopez filed for divorce on Aug. 20, the second anniversary of their wedding.

Do you have a story to share? Send to us on Whatsapp +2348029870309 We want to hear all about it or email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com

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True Life Story: Help-My Marriage Is Finally Crashing Because Of Addiction

Dear Lively Stones,

Please I need some advise. I blame myself mostly for the marital problems I have but right now, I feel like I am stuck and I need a way out for the future of my daughter and myself. I met my husband Cliff in my workplace three years ago. Cliff was related to the MD of the company, he is the nephew, the MD’s sister’s son. He got the job because the family wanted the MD to mentor Cliff because Cliff was a former drug and s3x addict.

I was working in their HR department and most of the issues Cliff had with managers came to HR. The MD then begged me to help him mentor Cliff. I got close to Cliff through the mentoring process. I got to find out how he got caught up in drugs and s3x. He is an only child of his mother, the woman spoiled him and he got involved with bad friends in the US. Now he is back to naija and he wanted to turn his life around.

Our friendship grew and Cliff actually became a very good person through my influence under five months. Everyone was singing his praises. Cliff took everything about his job serious and he did so well in the IT department that he won an award as the most productive team member of the department. We became romantically involved…we eventually got married and his family are totally in love with me, grateful for being a positive influence on their son’s life.

Things were smooth until I got pregnant. For some reason, Cliff’s libido spiked during my pregnancy and I tried to keep up but pregnancy hormones and tiredness made it difficult for me. Cliff started acting strange with his sexual frustrations. I noticed he was getting close to one young girl at work. I asked him what was going on with the girl and he said nothing. But I knew it was nothing.

My suspicions were confirmed by a colleague who told me that the girl was sleeping with Cliff. I confronted Cliff and he did not deny it…he even apologized…he said its just s3x….nothing serious. We talked about it and we agreed he would end it. But few weeks later, it was Cliff who came to me and said he needs to confide in me, he said he was struggling with his old s3x addictions.

That he is constantly having the urge for s3x and he has been hiding from me that he is sleeping with call girls. My heart sank. I was so upset and disappointed. But I tried to remain calm. I told him he needs to decide if he wants to go back to his old ways and if he does, he will loose me and the baby. I look at Cliff and I see he is struggling…he loves me and does not want to hurt me but he has fallen back to his habits.

Things got so bad that we stopped speaking to each other. Cliff was also taking drugs. For my sanity, the family asked me to move to the family house cos having Cliff around was affecting my mental health and the baby. I gave birth to our beautiful daughter and Cliff was not even sober enough on that day. The family has decided to send Cliff back to the rehab but from what Cliff told me, rehab only makes things worse for him.

I am confused on how to help my husband. He used to listen to me before but now, he does not. I blame myself for trusting a former drug & s3x addict…I should have known that they can never change. My daughter is almost 6 months old. Her father and I are not really on good terms because of his issues. I have started thinking that perhaps, this whole marriage is a mistake but his mom and family are begging me not to leave. They have promised to make sure me and my child do not lack anything.

The thing is, I am not happy….if I stay in this marriage but I really don’t have a husband in real sense….how do I cope? My mother inlaw said to me that I can be allowed to have a secret lover as long as I do not embarrass the family. They feel if I divorce Cliff, he will completely fall apart. I love Cliff….but should I give up my own happiness just to please him and his family? Is having a secret lover going to be enough?

I need a man who loves me proudly and treat me like a queen and not a community dick. I cant even sleep with my husband for fear of getting STDs. Like I said, I really blame myself but as my daughter is turning one year old in October, I am seriously thinking of walking away….I need advise…my family is supporting whatever decision I make but its hard…I am also struggling with leaving cos I feel bad for abandoning my husband because he is sick…like I made a vow for better or for worse….

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Its just that this is getting worser by the day. Our marriage is not even up to two years…is this how the rest of our lives will be like? The mother believes if I stay, the way I changed Cliff before, I can be able to change him again. I feel so helpless…I need some advise…what should I do?

Anonymous

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Reawakening the Reading Culture In Nigeria

Nigeria has been rated by the World Culture Score Index as one of the countries in the world with the lowest reading culture, while available statistics from National Commission for Mass Literacy, Adult and Non-Formal Education shows that 38 percent of Nigerians are non-literate as four in ten primary school children cannot read for comprehension.

Regrettably, this adverse development is an ominous challenge the country seems not to be paying needed attention to. Note that you can only learn by reading, there is generally a poor reading culture in the country. The rich literacy history the country is famous for is gradually been eroded. Once upon a time, the country paraded the best set of authors and publishers in Africa. Then, reading was an innate affection for both young and old. This reading inclination reflected so much on the quality of leadership and civil discipline that brought pride to Nigerians anywhere in the world.

In Nigeria, reading culture has suffered from widespread poverty, corruption, ineptitude and a dearth of dedicated quiet reading spaces like libraries. The decline in the standard of education has seriously affected reading ability. And it becomes harder when you have to deal with the many distractions and challenges that come with being an adult and living in a country like Nigeria. Perhaps, our socio-economic environment is not reading friendly.

The daily struggle for economic survival provides little or no time for people to cultivate a good reading habit. Equally, the high cost of books, particularly imported ones, has contributed to low readership promotion in the country.

Studies have shown that there is an almost symbiotic relationship between reading, learning, and intelligence. The analytical skills that provide the ability to understand issues and solve problems are the product of intensive reading. Reading regularly is a way to mental health which enhances emotional intelligence, helps with self-awareness, empathy, social skills and managing relationships more effectively.

Reading also provides a therapeutic effect and inner tranquility, while also slowing mental decline. Thus, the relationship between reading, knowledge acquisition, intelligence, and personal empowerment is crucial for economic and societal development. A critical mode of thinking and human development is lost in the absence of reading. It is, however, cheering that certain individuals and organizations are making concerted efforts to revive the learning and reading culture in the country.

The culture of reading must be activated in children from a very young age. More books should be procured for children than smartphones and tablets. Nigerian homes need to be fitted with more bookshelves and bookcases than flat-screen TVs and laptops. While it is imperative for federal and state governments to increase funding in education, they must take an active role in resuscitating reading habits, refurbishment of existing libraries and redesign the school curriculum.

We need an effective campaign to bring back the libraries to our schools and communities. Reducing environmental noise, which is inimical to reading, must be a policy imperative for governments across the country.

Finally, the absence of effective reading ability is a barrier to a civilized political culture and economic prosperity. To attain the socio-economic height of our dreams and aspirations, we need to develop literate citizens that are able to read widely to unlock the world treasure of knowledge and participate in the dynamic civilization of the world.

Source

Reference https://www.academia.edu/36716439/The_Making_of_a_Reading_Society_How_to_Reawaken_and_Sustain_the_Reading_Culture_in_Nigerian_Learners

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True Life Story: Has God Visited My Iniquities Upon My Children?

Hello Lively Stones,

This story belongs to a childhood friend of mine. Please post.

My name is Tunde (not real name). The issue bothering me is deep and dark. I have hidden this secret from everyone but I am going to be 50 years soon and I have recently started developing this urge to make things right before its too late. So, what happened is that, when my wife and I first got married, we had alot of issues. First, we struggled with infertility. And then I blamed my wife for the infertility because she was always working and never had time for the home.

To try to force my wife to spend time more at home, I went to bring my mother to stay with us. Instead of my wife to take care of her, she went and hired a young girl to take care of my mom. This angered me more, I started sleeping with the girl. Although, the girl was not so innocent cos she was always throwing herself at me, trying to seduce me. Eventually I yielded and started having an affair. My wife never noticed cos she was too busy.

Then miraculously, my wife got pregnant . Unfortunately, the affair with this maid could not stop cos I was already hooked on her. She was something else my wife could not be to me. Strangely, the girl also got pregnant while my wife was pregnant. I knew there was no way I could allow that so I told her to abort it. She refused so I sent her packing one day before my wife could return back from work. Later her people tried to contact me about the pregnancy and I threatened them that I will deal with them if they tried to ‘lie” that I am responsible for the pregnancy.

The family later agreed for a settlement and I paid 500k for them to carry out an abortion and stay away from me. But they later got back to me to say the abortion was unsuccessful. Infact, the girl almost died in the process. The greedy family went to a quack place for the abortion. In the end, they decided to keep the pregnancy a secret as long as I increase the settlement money to 1M. Over the months,I did that. I paid.

Months later, my wife gave birth to our son and this girl gave birth to my other son. The boys are just three weeks apart in age. I never contacted them and they never bothered me again. My wife and I later had a daughter but we noticed as our son grew up, he had some issues and it was later diagnosed that he has Autism. He has difficulties in communication and other social interactions.

As a parent, there is nothing we have not done to help our son live a better life but the pain of seeing our child not being able to behave normally is so frustrating. Life has and will never be normal for our son. As for our daughter, she was beautiful, bright and everything we dreamed off but when she was 12, she was abused by a neighbor we trusted and this was happening and we never knew until it was too late.

Our daughter started failing at school and she could not tell us what the problem was. We thought she was just being lazy with school and we were a bit too hard on her, we sent her to boarding school and that made matters worse. By the time she was 14, she was battling depression. It was a very strange time for us. How do you treat depression? Our daughter was always trying to commit suicide until a therapist was able to help us get it out from her about the abuse she faced.

Unfortunately, the neighbor had moved and there was nothing we could do. We had to home school our child so she would not harm herself. In all these happenings, I felt deep inside me that my children were being punished for my sins. For the fact that I had a girl pregnant and hid it from my wife and that the child was abandoned by me. I struggled for years with all these pain.

More From Lively Stones

Today, my daughter managed to get into university but she is a complete disappointment to us. She lives wild and does drugs. We feel helpless as her parents. My wife too has become so tired that she just feel so hopeless. We have gone to several prayer houses for our children, nothing came out of it. They are both grown adults and the future is so bleak for them. My children who are supposed to be my fruit of my investments are nothing to write home about.

Sometimes I wonder, if I should connect with my other son, maybe go look for him and ask his mother for forgiveness, maybe God can use that child to make me smile because right now, I have nothing to smile about when it comes to my children. But I am also afraid of hurting my wife…she has been through alot…how will she take it when she finds out that I slept with a maid and impregnated her many years ago? Will she ever forgive me when she finds out I have a healthy son while her children are not ok?

Do you think God is punishing me for my past? Or do you think these misfortunes are completely unrelated? If they are related, what can I do to redeem myself and maybe God will heal my children? Or is it too late?

Please advise me.

Anonymous

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$\"picking$ Cafés & coffee shops can be good spots to pick up girls in – but spam approaches + direct don’t work. To pick up girls HERE, you need a bit of STRATEGY!

Contents

1. Things to Understand

2. How to Pick Up in Cafés

3. Conclusion

I have spent quite a bit of time in cafés and coffee shops over the years. That happens when you run an Internet business and do not have a traditional office-building office.

The right coffee shop/café is great for meeting attractive, cool girls at – but you need to know what you’re doing.

I have seen guys fumbling around trying to be very direct with girls in coffee shops. This only makes things awkward. I have also seen a lot of guys who fall for a barista and get focused on trying to ask out their favorite coffee brewer; they see her every time and gradually fall in love with her and get oneitis.

This guide is not on any of that stuff. This is not a “how to do tons of volume hitting on women in coffee shops” guide. Nor is this a guide to “how to pick up your favorite barista” (if you’re looking for something like that, check out my guide to picking up waitresses).

Instead, this is a guide on how to pick up girls in coffee shops and cafés strategically while you are in these places – so you are operating within the ‘rules’ of the venues while not missing out on interested & available girls.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Pick, Girls, Coffee, Shops, Cafés", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/how-to-pick-up-girls-in-coffee-shops-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-pick-girls-coffee-shops-cafes", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-23 18:27:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "61879", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Case Studies: Wildcard Pickups, Compliance, & Killer Instinct", "title_slug": "case-studies-wildcard-pickups-compliance-killer-instinct", "title_hash": "be6db730bbf57ae2b01247401d9d4701", "summary": "When you find yourself in a length ‘marathon seduction’, where the girl isn’t ready to pull and wildcards abound, how can you win the day? With compliance… and killer instinct.\nYou meet a girl, she’s pretty hot, se seems to be into you, but you can’t pull her right now. Maybe she’s with a friend or two. Maybe she has things she needs to do.\nInterruptions happen. She’s pulled away. Other men start competing for her.\nYou can keep hanging around with her, but you cannot take her home. Not right now.\nShould you stay or should you go? How should you deal with these wildcards? Should you give up and switch to a different target?\nJust last week, I wrote a post on endurance game – which is where you hang in there and keep at it with a girl until she cracks on whatever the resistance point was, and things move forward.\nThis can work very effectively at any point in a seduction, but especially later on: once you know a girl is into you, you have a fair bit of compliance established, and no one’s", "content": "

$\"seduction$ When you find yourself in a length ‘marathon seduction’, where the girl isn’t ready to pull and wildcards abound, how can you win the day? With compliance… and killer instinct.

You meet a girl, she’s pretty hot, se seems to be into you, but you can’t pull her right now. Maybe she’s with a friend or two. Maybe she has things she needs to do.

Interruptions happen. She’s pulled away. Other men start competing for her.

You can keep hanging around with her, but you cannot take her home. Not right now.

Should you stay or should you go? How should you deal with these wildcards? Should you give up and switch to a different target?

Just last week, I wrote a post on endurance game – which is where you hang in there and keep at it with a girl until she cracks on whatever the resistance point was, and things move forward.

This can work very effectively at any point in a seduction, but especially later on: once you know a girl is into you, you have a fair bit of compliance established, and no one’s likely to be taking her away from you.

Sometimes, however, ‘sticking around no matter what’ is not the best call for the situation you’re in. Other times, merely enduring is not going to be enough – you need to be totally on-point seizing every opportunity you have to escalate things with a girl and hook her deeper and deeper into the seduction, before other forces in the environment can yank her away.

Today, I want to explore this other side of things: how do you deal with lengthy, wildcard-laden seductions – and when does it make sense to pull the rip cord and step away from such a seduction, and NOT endure?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Case, Studies:, Wildcard, Pickups, Compliance, Killer, Instinct", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "98", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/wildcard-pickups-killer-instinct-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/case-studies-wildcard-pickups-compliance-killer-instinct", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-23 18:27:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "61878", "lang_id": "1", "title": "If Your Husband’s Phone Shows These Signs, it Means He Is Cheating On You", "title_slug": "if-your-husbands-phone-shows-these-signs-it-means-he-is-cheating-on-you", "title_hash": "e1322dba32f5cc6a97adf2b6f76f3ded", "summary": "When trust starts to feel shaky in a relationship, it’s only natural to look for signs that something…", "content": "When trust starts to feel shaky in a relationship, it’s only natural to look for signs that something…", "keywords": ", Your, Husband’s, Phone, Shows, These, Signs, Means, Cheating, You", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/image2-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/if-your-husbands-phone-shows-these-signs-it-means-he-is-cheating-on-you/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-23 18:27:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "61877", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Signs Your Husband Might Be Seeing Someone Else, Even If He Deletes Messages and Call History", "title_slug": "10-signs-your-husband-might-be-seeing-someone-else-even-if-he-deletes-messages-and-call-history", "title_hash": "d1c6eab0a07c57212d0139fa8afc82a3", "summary": "Wondering if your husband might be seeing someone else can be really difficult. Even if he’s deleting messages…", "content": "Wondering if your husband might be seeing someone else can be really difficult. Even if he’s deleting messages…", "keywords": ", Signs, Your, Husband, Might, Seeing, Someone, Else, Even, Deletes, Messages, and, Call, History", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "111", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/99.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/10-signs-your-husband-might-be-seeing-someone-else-even-if-he-deletes-messages-and-call-history/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-23 18:27:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "61876", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best No-Show Socks for Men", "title_slug": "the-best-no-show-socks-for-men", "title_hash": "fb97b6ab8b337bdf7de917104696072a", "summary": "9 Comfortable, No-Show Socks to Put All the Attention on Your Shoes", "content": "It's that time of year again. The sun is out, the temperatures are rising and you're going to feel increasingly uncomfortable wearing socks that cover your ankles. Sure, you could opt to sport sandals all summer long, but then you'd be leaving some seriously stylish summer shoes out of your rotation. The solution? No-show socks. Not only are they the height of style (especially paired with the right low-top kicks), but they'll keep your feet cooler than the longer, thicker socks crowding up your drawers.\r\nRELATED: Best Terry Cloth Polos\r\nIt’s bad enough we subject our feet to daily wear and tear when hustling to our 9-to-5s. That’s not including workouts either. An unflattering sock collection, well, that can do just as much damage to your image as it can to your hooves.\r\nAdding a couple of invisible loafer liners to your summer wardrobe will equally sharpen your look and care for those sensitive tootsies. You'll want to bask in the benefits that no-show socks offer, and best believe they offer many.\r\n\r\n\r\nEvery Reason to Own No-Show Socks\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\tAnkle relief: Socks that ride up normally cause friction or chaffing and irritate skin.\r\n\tFashion meets function: Besides complementing a fresh pair of low-cut Chuck Taylors, good socks fit true to size and prevent slippage.\r\n\tFitness-friendly: Some actually double as running or workout socks.\r\n\tPerspiration-free feet: With over 250,000 sweat glands in feet, wearing these provides anti-bacterial protection and moisture control.\r\n\tSole protectors: Going sockless in closed-toe shoes will cause blisters, calluses, and puncture wounds.\r\n\tWear all-year round: Summer or Winter, Spring or Fall, no-shows deliver enough breathability and warmth to be worn any time of the year with any outfit.\r\n\r\nThere is no shortage of footie socks. Browse any online retailer or enter any department store and witness yourself. However, not every no-show is made for every shoe type. Sure, unbiasedly, no one will give you sh*t for rocking the same pair with Jordans and swanky wing-tipped shoes because, as you guessed it, they won’t see them. Duh. But understand that each sock suits a certain shoe style better than others. What might feel and look good at a local barbecue might not work aboard a yacht.\r\nThat being said, let us put you onto some of the coolest and comfiest no-show socks to pair with favorite footwear this summer.\r\n\r\nThe Best No-Show Socks\r\n\r\nBombas No-Shows, 4-Pack \r\n\r\n\r\nIf the quality construction, light-weight cotton and clever heel grips don't sell you on the Bombas no-shows, then consider this: for every pair you buy, one will be donated to a good cause. The price might seem steep, but remember that these are extra-durable, and will pay for themselves when lesser brands will fall apart after a few washes.\r\n\r\n$62.20 for 4-pack at Amazon.com\r\nNice Laundry No Shows Extra Low\r\n\r\n\r\nHigh quality. Thoughtful engineering. Fair prices. Nice Laundry is a company that lives by its guarantee that you’ll love their invisible socks, or your first pair is on them. Seriously. Incentives aside, this three-pack is great for guys whose dress socks always find their way to the bottom of their shoes come end of day.\r\n\r\n$36 for 3 at NiceLaundry.com\r\nSaucony RunDry Bolt Performance No-Show Running Socks, 6-Pack\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you want a performance sock, and perhaps especially if you're a distance runner tired of pulling up your no-shows in the middle of a run, reach for these lightweight running socks from Saucony. They're made from a blend of spandex and polyester, allowing them to very lightweight and breathable while still tear-resistant, with strategically placed mesh paneling to keep your feet cool on longer runs.\r\n\r\n$13.99 for 6 at Amazon.com\r\nStance Gamut 2 Super Invisible Sock, 3-Pack\r\n\r\nThe flyest companion for any Stan Smiths, Yeezys or retro Jordans, Stance socks are a flawless fit that spoil your feet with exquisite detailing and precise comfort. An elastic arch combined with seamless toe closure and mesh exterior provide great stability and ventilation for cool and dry results. Sneakerheads rave over their longevity stating they've gotten several months of use out of one pair before re-upping. \r\n\r\n$28.97 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\nVans Classic No-Show Socks, 3-Pack\r\n\r\nHidden from sight, much like the basic design of its sneakers, Vans no-shows promote the presence and stability most skaters desire when grinding through city streets. They slip on easily and afford just the right amount of heal support to prevent scrunching.\r\n\r\n$12.95 for 3 at Vans.com\r\nUniqlo Pile Low-Cut Socks\r\n\r\nWith their low price and anti-microbial and anti-odor properties, these socks from UniQlo are a great option for men who suffer from excessive sweat in the summer months. Not great for loafers or other low cut shoes, these still remain hidden under most casual shoe styles. \r\n\r\n$5.90 at Uniqlo.com\r\nMack Weldon Everyday No Show Socks, 2-Pack\r\n\r\n\r\nOne of the hottest lowkey brands on men’s fashion scene doesn’t just know how to design a well-cut polo. Reference their silver no-show collection and take notice. Mack Weldon’s invisible socks boast a low-profile cut with cushioned footbed and seamless toe that softens each step plus antimicrobial silver in the fabric to keep stinky feet at bay. \r\n\r\n$18 for 2 at MackWeldon.com\r\nAdidas Trefoil Superlite Super-No-Show, 6-Pack\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for socks that can take the punishment of a long, fast-paced workout, durability and moisture-wicking will be important to you. Well, look no further than the Trefoil Super-No-Shows from Adidas.\r\n\r\n$18.99 for 6 at Amazon.com\r\nConverse Flat Knit Ultra Low Socks, 3-Pack\r\n\r\n\r\nYou're not just going to wear any old pair of no-show socks with your favorite Chuck Taylors, are you? Rock your Chuck Taylors with some Flat Knot Ultra Low socks from Converse to stay on brand and on style.\r\n\r\n$25 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\nNo-show socks don't have to be limited to the summer months, but it's certainly a great time to give them a try.\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Breathable Shoes for Sweaty Feet\r\n\tBest Lightweight Long-Sleeve Shirts for Men\r\n\tBest Short-Shorts for Men", "keywords": "The, Best, No-Show, Socks, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/the-best-no-show-socks-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1724440431.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/the-best-no-show-socks-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-23 18:26:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "61489", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Will Abortion Ballot Organizers See an Election Day Sweep?", "title_slug": "will-abortion-ballot-organizers-see-an-election-day-sweep", "title_hash": "acd32fac85e51f153244b3ae8f815176", "summary": "Across the country, abortion advocates are finding ways to directly support each other, like sharing campaign strategies.\nThe post Will Abortion Ballot Organizers See an Election Day Sweep? appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

After the overturn of Roe v. Wade in 2022, Kansas voters were the first in the nation to cast a ballot on reproductive rights in their state. The success in preserving abortion rights in Kansas impacted similar statewide tests in the 2022 election cycle, said Ashley All, communications director and spokesperson for the Kansas campaign.

“I think that was critical and really informed the way every state since then has approached the issue,” All said.

This isn’t uncommon. While many abortion rights initiatives have secured a spot on the November ballot or are wrapping up the challenging signature collection process, organizations have been communicating with and watching their out-of-state counterparts. Some of these efforts are more direct, involving actions like attending conferences, publishing research results, and sharing campaign strategies.

The Fairness Project is one of the only national organizations that works with state ballot campaigns to guide them through the process. Although campaigns are led by in-state organizers, the Fairness Project offers experienced advice and is able to informally pass lessons learned in one state on to other campaigns.

Organizations in red and purple states said seeing other states with similar political landscapes pass ballot measures protecting abortion procedures encouraged them to do the same.

“Having that additional context when you’re working with folks who are so focused on doing the best they can for their state—that’s definitely something I think we’re really valued for when we’re working with these coalitions,” said Alexis Magnan-Callaway, communications and digital director for the Fairness Project. “I will caveat this all by saying every state’s very different, and it is very much not the case that it is as simple as running the same program that’s winning in Montana in Missouri.”

After the Kansas victory, All said organizers conducted research and shared it with partner organizations across the country. The research included voter responses to questions like if they changed their position, if they were persuaded to change their position by campaign messaging, and what types of advertising were impactful.

“I think one of the lessons learned from that research and our experience in other states is that because people see it as such a personal issue, they are impacted much more significantly by conversations that they have with family, friends, and loved ones.” said All, who is now with Montanans Securing Reproductive Rights (MSRR) to bring abortion protections to that state.

In the 2023 election cycle, anti-abortion advertising in Ohio targeted the idea that the state’s parental notification policy was going to be overturned or children were going to be harmed. All said that seeing how another campaign played out and knowing how they could reach voters gave MSRR the insight to develop messaging early on in this cycle to counteract that anti-abortion tactic.

The support for ballot measures and the results of research and polling prove that reproductive and abortion rights are nonpartisan issues, All added.

Organizations in red and purple states said seeing other states with similar political landscapes pass ballot measures protecting abortion procedures encouraged them to do the same. The Arkansas Abortion Amendment received more than enough signatures to be placed on the ballot. Rebecca Bobrow, director of strategy for Arkansans for Limited Government (ALG), said it was a lesson for those who had written off Arkansas’ potential for a successful abortion rights measure. She said states like Michigan, where voters enshrined abortion access in the state constitution five months after Roe fell, helped give ALG a positive outlook on campaigning a ballot measure even if initial polling looks unfavorable.

“Through awareness raising and education [Michigan advocates] were able to get where they needed to be and have a successful outcome,” Bobrow said. “That was encouraging for our leadership to feel like they could keep going, even when perhaps other outside forces were saying, ‘You’re not going to get there, and this is going to be futile.’”

Bobrow said other coalitions provided advice and support in more tangible ways too. For example, Ohio organizers created a physicians group that coalitions there said helped reach their voters, which inspired ALG to help put together something similar in Michigan.

In Colorado, Cobalt Advocates has been actively working with other organizations since 2021 by sharing past campaign plans, including the executive summary and final data from both 2014 and 2020 cycles. In November 2023, Cobalt facilitated a discussion with other advocates about the existing abortion rights ballot measures and what to expect in more western regions of the country.

“In my experience, when you’re all on the same side, there’s a lot of good ways to work together and support each other during this really important time,” Cobalt President Karen Middleton said. “I think some of what we may be learning from each other is a little bit on the fly or on an as-needed basis, rather than a formal, structured exchange of information.”

Ballot campaigns have found ways to support similar initiatives across state lines, whether it was material strategic advice that helped another coalition sign on more supporters or encouragement that the fight for reproductive rights was not only for a select few states.

“I really have a view that we have to all sort of dig in our heels and go together, and I don’t think it’s picking and choosing which state,” Middleton said. “In my advice, we do better if we stick together and if we press forward as a united front.”

The post Will Abortion Ballot Organizers See an Election Day Sweep? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Will, Abortion, Ballot, Organizers, See, Election, Day, Sweep", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Lorien_Ballotiniatives_Web-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/20/will-abortion-ballot-organizers-see-an-election-day-sweep/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-23 03:14:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "61488", "lang_id": "1", "title": "‘All Gas, No Brakes’: How Florida Advocates Are Fighting to Enshrine Abortion Rights", "title_slug": "all-gas-no-brakes-how-florida-advocates-are-fighting-to-enshrine-abortion-rights", "title_hash": "debf3debc04792b4c7857bc5d89ac7a1", "summary": "A 60 percent supermajority from Florida voters is still needed for Amendment 4 to pass on Election Day.\nThe post ‘All Gas, No Brakes’: How Florida Advocates Are Fighting to Enshrine Abortion Rights appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

On April 1, the Florida Supreme Court ruled that the state’s unique privacy law did not include the right to abortion. Despite the timing, there was no humor in a punchline that overturned a 1989 decision.

It was a cruel joke, but this was an expected outcome considering the court’s uneven political bent: Five of the seven justices are Gov. Ron DeSantis appointees, and the current court is a far cry from the more liberal court that affirmed the right to privacy 35 years ago.

The implications are far-reaching, but the immediate consequence was that the state’s six-week abortion ban went into effect 30 days later. Due to the bill’s language, the ruling simultaneously upheld and replaced a previous 15-week ban. Advocates call it a total ban, as many are not even aware that they’re pregnant before six weeks.

Enter Floridians Protecting Freedom, which describes itself as “a statewide campaign of allied organizations and concerned citizens working together to protect Floridians’ access to abortion as reproductive health care and defend the right to bodily autonomy.” The coalition includes around 200 local, state, and nationwide organizations—including the ACLU of Florida and Planned Parenthood of South, East, and North Florida—as well as 100 individual health-care providers. Their registered opposition is led by Florida Voters Against Extremism, whose supporters include Florida Conference of Catholic Bishops and Conservatives for Principled Leadership, a PAC chaired by Paul Renner, the state’s house speaker.

The coalition moved to replace the question mark now hovering over abortion rights with a period by securing constitutional protections for the right to choose. Their proposed “Amendment to Limit Government Interference with Abortion” reads:

The proposed amendment provides pregnant people with rights that are leaps and bounds from existing Florida law.

Florida’s currently-active abortion ban has exceptions for certain medical emergencies and fetal anomalies, as well as rape and incest. However, the qualifying conditions render the exceptions ineffective in many situations. Cases in which the patient is in danger of dying or at “serious risk of imminent substantial and irreversible physical impairment of a major bodily function of the pregnant woman other than a psychological condition” must be verified in writing by two physicians. The law also prohibits obtaining abortion pills via telehealth appointments or through the mail. Patients must receive them from a physician, in person.

For rape, incest, or human trafficking exceptions to apply, survivors are forced to validate their experiences with medical records, police reports, restraining orders, or other documentation which “proves” their account. But on top of the bureaucratic maze a patient would face in justifying their exception eligibility, many may not even be able to “prove” their abuse because a majority of survivors do not report their assaults—largely due to the ways in which both society and the legal system revictimize them.

Even under the previous 15-week ban, roughly 9,300 people traveled to Florida in 2023 for abortion care, but the state supreme court’s decision completed the South’s transition into a wasteland with regards to reproductive health. The next closest state is North Carolina, which bans abortion at 12 weeks, but it’s simply not a feasible alternative for many people seeking to terminate their pregnancies.

In addition to the increase in travel time and days off work, the state has guidelines that clearly only exist to further complicate and discourage the process. There is a 24-hour waiting period, and those seeking abortions are required to make two in-person visits. As a result, some clinics have resorted to directing patients to nearby Virginia, which allows abortions up to 26 weeks, 6 days.

Now, us Floridians will have Amendment 4, which would enshrine the right to abortion in our state constitution, included on the November ballot. The story of Florida’s citizen-led ballot initiative is a testament to the fighting spirit of those who live in a deeply embattled place.

Our home insurance rates are sky-high and climbing. Our inflation rate is among the highest in the nation. And the state legislature is full of book-banning anti-intellectuals whose hobbies include impeding accurate instruction on U.S. history, voter suppression, and casually attacking LGBTQ+ folks’ civil rights.

But one thing that must be said about Floridians is that we take care of our own. The lifeblood of my state has always been the people, and after the six-week ban passed, people did what we do after every major disaster: We got to work to clean up the mess.

Though polls generally indicate that the majority of Floridians favor abortion rights, the initiative faced an uphill battle to make it on the ballot, in no small part because of the state’s strict rules governing citizen-led petitions. In Florida, the number of required signatures must be at least 8 percent of the district-wide vote in the previous presidential election and must be collected from at least half of the state’s 28 congressional districts.

Inclusion on the ballot in this case required 891,523 signatures, which had to be validated by the Division of Elections by February 1, 2024. In spite of the obstacles, the campaign has been a resounding success, barreling through every roadblock on the way to a crucial Election Day.

In January, the Florida Division of Elections announced it had validated 996,512 signatures out of the 1.2 million collected, figures which emphatically surpassed the minimum requirement in just seven months. In addition, the coalition said it has raised nearly $32 million to date.

Even though Amendment 4 is on the ballot, there is still one last hurdle to clear: A 60 percent supermajority is required for it to pass on Election Day, a more stringent requirement than exists in most states. This will be a challenge in our Sunshine State, where both the government and the populace have been steadily moving to the right since DeSantis took office in 2019. Under his administration, which is a major arms dealer in the manufactured culture war, Florida has quickly gone from being the quintessential swing state to reliably Republican.

Taylor Aguilera, Floridians Protecting Freedom’s organizing director, doesn’t see either of these things as a barrier, citing her experiences on the ground.

“We saw support from nonpartisan, conservative, and liberal voters alike,” she said. “The reality is, limiting government interference with abortion is a nonpartisan issue that a majority of Floridians support.”

Aguilera attributes the campaign’s accomplishments to the sheer determination of supporters and volunteers and their dedication to the cause. Per Aguilera, teams “formed from the Florida Panhandle down to the Florida Keys,” went out into their own communities, and did the legwork necessary to collect signatures.

“You could find our teams anywhere: From farmers markets to concerts to your neighborhood corner store, there would be a canvasser with a clipboard ready to help you sign our petition.” she said.

Volunteers faced everything from extreme summer heat to a state official personally determined to kill the amendment. In November 2023, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody submitted a brief to the court that argued that the language was “vague” and opened the door for so-called “partial birth” abortions. The latter is not an accepted medical term, and abortions later in pregnancy are usually performed due to medical emergencies or untreatable fetal health issues.

In 2022 and 2023, seven states voted on measures to either protect or restrict abortion access. If Amendment 4 succeeds, Florida will join California, Michigan, Ohio, and Vermont in creating a constitutional right to abortion. Anti-abortion measures in Kansas, Kentucky, and Montana were defeated.

As for the future of abortion rights in Florida, my optimism is cautious while Aguilera’s is unwavering.

“We have built an incredible movement that is running an ‘all gas, no brakes’ campaign to kick politicians out of our exam rooms,” she said. “We anticipate winning over 60 percent of the vote this November to ensure the Amendment to Limit Government Interference With Abortion is enshrined in our state constitution.”

The post ‘All Gas, No Brakes’: How Florida Advocates Are Fighting to Enshrine Abortion Rights appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Within hours of Vice President Kamala Harris’ announcement that she had chosen Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate, Donald Trump’s followers mockingly dubbed him “Tampon Tim.” Named for a recent Minnesota law that provides free menstrual products in public schools, the opposition took joy in deriding a man who signed a bill that addresses a very real public health need.

I can’t be the only one who has had to stuff scratchy, one-ply toilet paper in my underwear after an ill-timed or unexpected period while in school. In fact, I know there are others like me, because as a teen, not a month went by without a friend asking if I had a spare pad or tampon.

In the days after the Tampon Tim moniker gained momentum, many friends shared their own stories of menstrual malfunctions and humiliations, where access to free supplies would have been a lifesaver. According to Alliance for Period Supplies, which leads a national network of more than 140 independent, community-based nonprofits working to end period poverty, 86 percent of people who menstruate have started their period unexpectedly in public. So to find out that Minnesota public schools are now stocking bathrooms to ensure that students, teachers, and staff have the supplies they need? I don’t think it’s shameful in the least. It’s exemplary.

However, conservatives took a cursory look at the law and decided to run with the sensationalized spin that Walz was forcing fourth-grade boys to have tampons in their bathrooms. Grasping to find some way to sell this to their base, they infused a “trans panic” on the public health policy that states Minnesota public schools “must provide students with access to menstrual products at no charge. The products must be available to all menstruating students in restrooms regularly used by students in grades 4 to 12 according to a plan developed by the school district.” The language actually provides schools with flexibility, and nobody is being forced to use any products.

In some Minnesota school districts, including Anoka-Hennepin—the state’s largest—period products are actually not placed in any of the boys’ bathrooms, but are available in other places, like girls’ bathrooms, the nurse’s office, unisex/ungendered bathrooms, and even the main office.

When I asked my son if he had heard of the Tampon Tim nickname, he thought it had actually come from the Harris camp as a positive endorsement, and laughed at the thought of anyone using it to ridicule someone.

The shock and outrage over boys as young as 10 coming across a pad or tampon while at school is just a smokescreen for transphobia—because yes, there are most likely nonbinary or trans students, staff, and faculty who now really appreciate having access to health-care products they require. And perhaps, some schools will provide products in their boys’ restrooms, but as the mother of a teen son who “bravely” uses the bathroom in our home with unfettered access to tampons and pads of various sizes, I can tell you that the boys will be alright. Worst-case scenario, these young dudes get some free toys to play with. But best-case scenario, they grow up thinking of pads and tampons as boring and normal—because they are.

In our house, menstrual products aren’t dirty, gross, or shameful, just items needed on occasion. When I asked my son if he had heard of the Tampon Tim nickname, he thought it had actually come from the Harris camp as a positive endorsement, and laughed at the thought of anyone using it to ridicule someone.

The reality is that laws like the one in Minnesota (which was part of a larger education package) are addressing a very real need. According to a 2021 Kotex Period Poverty report, 42 percent of people said that at some point in their life they’ve struggled to purchase period products due to lack of income (a 35 percent increase from 2018 data). The report also noted that 38 percent of people who menstruate have had to miss events or activities—like school—due to a lack of access to menstrual products. Alliance for Period Supplies also reported that nearly 1 in 4 students struggle to afford these products (up from 1 in 5 in 2019), and pre-COVID-19, 4 in 5 teens reported either having missed class time or knowing a classmate who missed class because they lacked access to period products. This is a nationwide problem, and one that Minnesota lawmakers were eager to address.

Minnesota is not alone. The state joins Hawaii, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Maryland, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, and Oregon in providing state-funded, free period products in public schools. Ten other states, along with Washington, D.C., require free products to be available in public schools despite not offering funding, and eight other states (including conservative-leaning ones like Alabama, Arizona, and Georgia) have no state mandates, but do provide funding for schools that want to offer free products. So while online critics may be attempting to attack Walz, more than 50 percent of states are tackling this public health need.

And these types of programs actually work. In New York City, after schools were required to provide free period supplies, there was a 2.4 percent increase in attendance.

The bottom line is that menstrual products are a basic need for over half of our population. It shouldn’t be seen as an outrageous act to ensure these products are available to those in need. After all, nobody is protesting the free toilet paper and hand soap schools are stocking their bathrooms with. Conservatives may be using “Tampon Tim” as an insult, but the rest of us see it for what it is: An understanding that nobody should have to miss out on their education because they are unable to afford a basic necessity required to thrive.

The post Why Are Conservatives Grasping at (Tampon) Strings to Criticize Tim Walz? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In their first national convention since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, Democrats chose the safe and predictable route, voting to adopt a party platform that advocates for a “return to Roe” instead of anything braver or bolder.

It’s a safe position. It’s a predictable position. And it recreates a failed political compromise on bodily autonomy that, historically, did little to ensure abortion access, but cemented abortion as a political hot potato passed between political parties and administrations.

Roe wasn’t enough ten years ago, and it certainly isn’t enough today. Even the rollout of the Democratic messaging on abortion during the first day of the Democratic National Convention proved this truth. Three women—Amanda Zurawski, Kaitlyn Joshua, and Hadley Duvall—all shared their devastating stories of being denied abortions. It was the first time I can remember where abortion stories and storytellers were featured so prominently at the DNC. And while I’m grateful for their inclusion, it also feels like Democrats are missing an opportunity to take a meaningful policy step forward instead of retreating to a catchphrase and policy position that, two years after Roe’s reversal, feels stale compared to the fresh new energy coalescing around Kamala Harris.

Rather than stay disappointed, I am, once again, looking to abortion rights activists for inspiration and motivation. Inside the convention were stories of tragedy and pain. Outside the convention, activists marched and rallied in opposition to the Supreme Court, as well as any abortion access compromise Democrats could adopt that would take power and autonomy away from pregnant patients. That is the vision, the energy, and the vibe Democrats need to bring when it comes to abortion. Not a restrained embrace of failed past policy, but a joyful defiance of the weirdos who support abortion bans and the idea that the state has any significant business in regulating reproductive autonomy at all.

My colleague Imani Gandy and I talked about this strategy earlier this summer on Boom! Lawyered with Abortion Access Front’s Lizz Winstead. Check it out if you missed the conversation, which included a sneak preview of AAF’s very own Mife and the Misotones, who made their debut at the DNC.

By the time the DNC closes, two things should be very clear for abortion rights advocates. First, Vice President Harris brings an energy and understanding to the abortion rights and access fight that her boss, President Joe Biden, just doesn’t have. Second, her time in national politics makes her vulnerable to the same policy mistakes and under-calculations as many Democrats before her.

That is exactly why advocates must continue to embrace a politics of joyful defiance. Should Harris win the presidential election, it’s going to take a lot of joy—and a lot of defiance—to move Democrats to where the country needs them to be on abortion policy.

I continue to believe it’s possible.

The post The Role of Joyful Defiance in Abortion Rights and Access Strategy appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In late June, I was on the train with a good friend who attends school in Iowa, a state that recently banned abortions after around six weeks of pregnancy, before most people even know they’re pregnant. My friend explained how people at their school were already planning on stocking up on contraceptives such as birth control and Plan B, not only for themselves, but to share with classmates in need. They felt as if they could not trust their state—or school—to help students access necessary resources in case of a health-care crisis.

Their story is not unique. This is why I sincerely fret over the health-care implications of a second Donald Trump presidency—whether it be gender-affirming care, abortion care, or the affordability of it all. The primary burden of ensuring reproductive health-care access should not have to rest on the shoulders of teenagers and 20-somethings. The responsibility rests on political leadership.

Although Trump has attempted to distance himself from the Heritage Foundation’s infamous Project 2025, the policy roadmap for a second Trump term paints a grim picture of conservatives’ agenda for reproductive health care. For context, the Heritage Foundation, the premier conservative think tank, wrote similar policy compilations for the last few conservative presidencies, and former Republican presidents have enacted many of Heritage’s suggestions. CNN reported that at least 140 former Trump administration officials were involved with the document’s formulation, including some of its most radical anti-abortion aspirations.

Life-threatening anti-abortion proposals are littered throughout its 30 chapters. In Project 2025’s preface, the authors tout the implementation of blanket “bans on federal funding for abortion” via the executive branch as the next step in post-Roe America. They celebrate this as a victory for families, completely disregarding that U.S. maternal mortality rates are 62 percent higher in states without protected abortion access.

In Chapter 14, the authors assert that abortion pills are a premier threat to the health and “welfare of women and girls” everywhere—a stance in direct contradiction to the scientific consensus. Furthermore, this is their justification for the hypothetical restriction of all abortion pills by the Food and Drug Administration under a second Trump term. The most frequently referenced chapter in relation to abortion care, Chapter 17, proposes a prosecutorial crackdown on “providers and distributors of abortion pills that use the mail” spearheaded by the Department of Justice.

Project 2025’s abortion limitations do not stop with the United States. Conservatives intend to create a global cultural shift toward the complete stigmatization of all abortion care, as well. In Chapter 9, its authors encourage the United States to primarily fund “faith-based” health care worldwide as a tenet of USAID—a dog whistle for forcing pregnant people to carry to term in the vision of a Christian nationalist, moralist agenda. All funding for NGOs that provide abortion services would be terminated.

They want to make the country’s abnormally high maternal mortality rate the international standard.

Even with conservatives’ hyper-focus on abortion restrictions, Trump claimed earlier this month that abortion was not at the forefront of voters’ minds. Meanwhile, Vice President Kamala Harris thinks—and knows—the opposite is true. For a stark change, it is refreshing to see a presidential nominee who is directly impacted by crackdowns on reproductive health care.

But it’s not enough to just be a woman running for president.

Harris’ campaign should stress the importance of reproductive health-care access beyond the bare minimum of preventing a federal ban on abortion. She must campaign unapologetically for the active subsidization, legalization, and protection of abortion care. She must incentivize educational institutions in abortion-restrictive states to give resources to students to get the health care they need.

Abortion care restrictions will impact everyone reliant on U.S. subsidization. It is far greater than one local context.

While some may deride Harris’ campaigning on abortion as needlessly divisive, I beg to differ. Polls show that extremist restrictions of reproductive health care are unpopular. According to Gallup, a plurality of Americans (85 percent) support the legalization of abortion to some extent. Fifty-seven percent of Americans were opposed to the Supreme Court’s 2022 decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. In the crucial swing state of Arizona, some Republican officials backtracked their support of the state’s 1864 abortion ban—they knew that such a position was too extremist to guarantee reelection. Arguably, it is the same reason a national abortion ban was not mentioned in the official GOP platform for the first time in 40 years.

While many Democrats have said they are incredibly relieved now that President Joe Biden has departed from the ticket, I urge us and the Harris campaign to not lose sight of what is at stake for all Americans this election.

Harris must protect our health care, and our right to abortion, at all costs.

The post Kamala Harris Must Fight Against Project 2025’s Anti-Abortion Roadmap appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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True Life Story: Help-My Best Friend Is Under Marital Bondage

Dear Lively Stones,

Pardon my English is not too good. I need your advise ma. I have a best friend that we grew up in the same compound for more than 13 years. We are so close people think we are sisters. Something happened, my boyfriend who got me pregnant and promised to marry me, disappointed me cos his parents said I am not good for him. It was my best friend and family that helped me survive all through.

Two years later, this my best friend got engaged to someone that I have heard is a womanizer. I warned her to be careful but she would not listen. Before you know it, she start cohabiting with the guy. And she will be asking me to come visit her in his place. Every time I go to visit her in the guy’s place, am not comfortable but just for my friend sake. They are planning to get married so I am always with my friend, cos we are talking and sometimes going out to buy things for the wedding together.

There’s this day I called my friend, she said she’s going to her boyfriend’s place, that we will meet there. I said ok. When I reached there, the boyfriend was around with his friend. They were watching ball and drinking. They offered me drink and I said no. I keep calling my friend and she said there is hold up. I even wanted to leave but she said I must wait for her. The boyfriend later beg me to help him do noodles, since all of us are hungry, so we can eat when my friend come.

So, I agreed, I went to the kitchen and start the cooking. Like some minutes later, this guy come behind me and start touching me….I tried best to fight him off…he was very strong and he hit my head with something hard. I fell and he came on me and r#ped me. His friend too. I was in pain and so weak that I could barely stand. They now called uber and gave me 10k that I should go, that if I say anything, I will regret it.

As I was leaving, my friend was calling me but I was too weak and crying. The Uber man was asking me what happened…I said nothing. Later, I text my friend that her man and his friend r#ped me and she said she is coming. She did not come until the next morning and she said I should tell her the truth and stop lying. I told her I am saying the truth but she said I have joined those who don’t want their relationship to work to bad mouth the boyfriend. That I know her marriage is close.

I cried and swore by my late brother’s life that I was telling the truth but she said our relationship is over. Cos her man told her that I came and was flirting with the friend and it was the friend that promised me 10k for a short time and that the friend did short time but he did not do anything. Can you imagine.

Everyone I told said I should leave my friend, that when man enter friendship, it used to be like that. Since that incident, I never heard from my friend until her wedding. I sent her congratulations on the wedding day and she replied thank you. I miss my friend, when I remember how everything happen, I just be shedding tears. Its like am all alone in this world but I thank God for my life. I am still managing.

Some time ago, one of our former neighbor called to say have I heard that my friend got a miscarriage? That she almost lost her life in the process. I said no, am not aware. So she advised me to call and sympathize with her which I did. My friend did not pick my call but she send me message and she was raining curses on me, that shebi am happy now. That I place curse on her cos of she does not want to be friend with me again, after I lied on her husband. That I want her to leave her husband so she can be single like me.

This one pained me so much, I decided to go to her village to report her to her people cos her family know me. When I reached Ilesha and told her mother everything my friend did, they started begging me to forgive her, that their daughter is under bondage. That they have been trying to bring her out but its like the girl is under jazz. They said my friend lost her pregnancy after her husband and his friend got drunk and took turns in r#ping her.

I was so shocked I fell to the ground…what????…they said the man drinks so much and forget where he is and r#pes my friend or brings girls to sleep with in their house. That they have asked my friend to leave the man but she instead, she prefer to go to prayer house everyday, praying for the man to change. I cried my eyes out on my way back to village. They say the man is an occultist cos why will a man and his friend be r$ping his own wife?

More From Lively Stones

I cannot even talk to my friend…no one can…she is truly under a spell. I need advise on what to do. Despite the fact the man hurt me, I am hurting everyday more cos I know he is also hurting my friend. The family cannot go to police cos they tried and my friend denied that her husband did anything to her. I am afraid for my friend. I don’t know what else to do. Please share my story and advise me.

Anonymous

Comment & Share This Story (Kindly Keep Comments tasteful)

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$\"has$ How difficult is it to get girls now that dating apps, social media, and OnlyFans puts tons of simps, Chads, and validation around every girl? Has dating grown impossible?

I keep seeing stuff like this over and over again from guys and it’s driving me slightly batty:

The irony of course is that 100% of the men who talk about women “drowning in overwhelming options” in the sexual marketplace due to a superabundance of digital Chads consider themselves ‘red pill’, but they live almost wholly online in this weird 2D LED digital echo chamber matrix where the ‘women’ they are interacting with are carefully posed and curated avatars (and in some cases aren’t even women at all), wholly unlike who these women are in-the-flesh.

So come along on a wild ride, and take the red pill with me:

Because I’m going to show you you’ve been living in a dream world, Neo.

Are you ready to see how deep the rabbit hole goes?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Have, Online, Simps, Chads, Inflated, Girls, Egos, Sky, High", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "105", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/online-inflated-girls-egos-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/have-online-simps-chads-inflated-girls-egos-sky-high", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "60126", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Make a Girl Comfortable at Your Place (4 Steps)", "title_slug": "make-a-girl-comfortable-at-your-place-4-steps", "title_hash": "3e4953bbbf6da1e2b67f75981bc9c25c", "summary": "The first time you bring a girl home, she may be a bit nervous. Follow these simple steps to make a girl comfortable at your place and put her mind at ease.\n\nContents\nI. New Environments Are Scary\nII. Make Her Comfortable\n\n\nGet to Know Each Other\n\n\nYour Bathroom\n\n\nMove Her Around\n\n\nDealing with Resistance\n\n\nIII. Conclusion\n\nHey guys.\nToday I’ll share tips on how to make a girl feel more comfortable when you arrive at your place. This can help you dodge potential resistance, and help you deal with it if it arises.\nIf you have brought girls home and realized they stiffen up or appear uncomfortable, this post is for you. If you are dealing with last-minute resistance, this post is also for you. And if you are experienced and want to reduce facing resistance and escalate more quickly and safely, this post is for you, too\nI’ll discuss are basic techniques suitable for beginners, but they also apply to experienced guys.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"making$ The first time you bring a girl home, she may be a bit nervous. Follow these simple steps to make a girl comfortable at your place and put her mind at ease.

Contents

I. New Environments Are Scary

II. Make Her Comfortable

III. Conclusion

Hey guys.

Today I’ll share tips on how to make a girl feel more comfortable when you arrive at your place. This can help you dodge potential resistance, and help you deal with it if it arises.

If you have brought girls home and realized they stiffen up or appear uncomfortable, this post is for you. If you are dealing with last-minute resistance, this post is also for you. And if you are experienced and want to reduce facing resistance and escalate more quickly and safely, this post is for you, too

I’ll discuss are basic techniques suitable for beginners, but they also apply to experienced guys.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Make, Girl, Comfortable, Your, Place, Steps", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "98", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/make-girl-comfortable-your-place-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/make-girl-comfortable-your-place-4-steps", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "60125", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Lay Report+: 3 Nights, 3 Girls, 3 Cockblocks", "title_slug": "lay-report-3-nights-3-girls-3-cockblocks", "title_hash": "062296e78c86fd0bbe92a40621950225", "summary": "Lao Che takes a trip to Jeju Island, where in 3 nights he pulls 3 different girls. But it’s far from easy! Along the way his hapless wingman continually interferes…\nThis report by Lao Che originally appeared on our forum here.\n\nI've been wondering about posting LRs because I'm not sure what the point is. Lately I've been thinking it seems like bragging. I've written this now so I'll post it in the hopes that maybe some guys can pick up something, or at least enjoy the read. Let me know.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"lay$ Lao Che takes a trip to Jeju Island, where in 3 nights he pulls 3 different girls. But it’s far from easy! Along the way his hapless wingman continually interferes…

This report by Lao Che originally appeared on our forum here.

I've been wondering about posting LRs because I'm not sure what the point is. Lately I've been thinking it seems like bragging. I've written this now so I'll post it in the hopes that maybe some guys can pick up something, or at least enjoy the read. Let me know.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Lay, Report:, Nights, Girls, Cockblocks", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "105", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/3-nights-3-girls-3-cockblocks-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/lay-report-3-nights-3-girls-3-cockblocks", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "60124", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Emotional Benefits of Working Out", "title_slug": "the-emotional-benefits-of-working-out", "title_hash": "68c9a43e0340de87774be49416a81533", "summary": "Putting Our Feelings in Our Muscles: Exploring the Hidden Emotional Benefits of Working Out", "content": "Transfer is kind of a magic word in the world of strength and conditioning. \r\nHow will those high-intensity intervals transfer into endurance? How will those dumbbell presses make your throws more powerful or your arms bigger? \r\nTransfer isn’t just physical, though. It also lives in the realm of your mental skills. Discomfort tolerance. Patience. Technical excellence. Creative problem solving. And grit — lots of grit. Exercise is an opportunity to build those skills and then pressure-treat them with all kinds of stress, from load and velocity to fatigue and distraction.\r\nI remember falling in love with Brazilian jiu-jitsu many years ago. Not because I was particularly good at it (I was not) but because it showed me that I was far tougher than I realized. I just wouldn’t have believed you if you’d have told me how persistent I could be. How tenacious. Or that I would think clearly and creatively under pressure. It literally had to be beaten into me. \r\nRELATED: How to Start Working Out, Explained\r\nAs a guy who struggled to take a compliment, I needed a case that was strong enough to stand up in the Supreme Court of my own self-judgment. Positive words were not enough; I needed accurate words in the presence of actual evidence. I had to be able to describe what was going well — and how I course-corrected when they weren’t. \r\n\r\nHow Gym Habits Help Build Your Inner Self\r\n\r\nI have a particular love of the weight room because you have so much control over your progression. \r\nYou can always create legitimate success for yourself, even if it’s millimeters at a time. You start by finding a task that you can perform reasonably well. Something that is a little bit beyond easy — where there’s enough challenge for things to feel real. That’s where you set your standard for movement. \r\nNext, you see what stresses you can layer on without compromising that standard. Maybe you add weight. Or add reps. Or density (how much work you can get done over a fixed period of time). Maybe you need to get more creative. \r\nHere, you can raise your technical standards. Or create fatigue before going into things. Or even take away some things you might over-rely on, like listening to music or training in a familiar environment.\r\nRELATED: Common Workout Mistakes That Are Holding You Back \r\nNot every training session needs to be a grinder. However, if you’re training your whole self, you will periodically (maybe 5% of the time) need to come face to face with what really tests you. \r\nHowever, having done the physical preparation (that’s what the other 95% is for), you will have cleared the path for your mind to push you to the next level. Your internal language is important here. It’s something you will have practiced, one rep at a time. \r\nNow, you will deepen your understanding of what you’re truly capable of. \r\n\r\nReal-Life Traits That Help in the Gym\r\n\r\nToronto-based performance coach Beth McCharles sees these three traits in high performers:\r\nSelf-Awareness: Do we know what we stand for? Do we know our values? Are we able to check in with ourselves? That allows us to be more durable in life.Adaptability: Can we deal with change and mistakes? That’s where emotion regulation comes in. The best performers in the world have bad moments, but what they do in those moments prevents bad moments from becoming bad days. Can you stop your mind from spiraling and move forward into being more present?Sustainability: Discipline and mental toughness are not the end goal. Instead, they are methods you can use to stay on the path.\r\n\r\nTransferring Gym Skills to Real Life\r\n\r\nOne style of training that I sometimes prescribe involves extreme discomfort. \r\nThe process begins when you are already straining to perform another rep or to maintain a certain level of output for time (wattage, bar speed, whatever). This is the starting point. \r\nAs you exhaust your physical capacities and feel the urge to quit, the real work begins. You notice what internal signals you’re experiencing — and then to build your mental capacity to work with them and endure just a little longer. \r\nLearning your internal vocabulary is essential. When you recognize an emotion, you can craft an intentional response to it. Fear. Anger. Doubt. Sadness. They can all be allies. But to ignore their existence is to weaken yourself. \r\nThe hardest things you’ll do in your life will take place outside of the gym. They’ll have to do with tough emotions far more often than they will with physical feats of strength. \r\nThe tools you develop will prepare you to recognize and respond to those signals. The actions you take will define you. This is the kind of transfer that allows you to step into who you’re truly capable of becoming. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow Much Weight Should You Lift?Health and Fitness Benefits of Improving FlexibilityWhy It’s So Important to Take Rest Days", "keywords": "The, Emotional, Benefits, Working, Out", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/the-emotional-benefits-of-working-out/askmen-lead-image-template-1723840379.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/the-emotional-benefits-of-working-out.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "60122", "lang_id": "1", "title": "New Survey Shows Sex Miseducation Is Still Rampant", "title_slug": "new-survey-shows-sex-miseducation-is-still-rampant", "title_hash": "7c6d3800ed07e112c5ae298cb97643af", "summary": "Do You Know These 3 Lies Way Too Many Guys Still Believe When It Comes to Bedroom Stuff?", "content": "The Story\r\nHow much do you know about sex? Most guys probably wouldn’t guess that they’re ignorant about it, but a recent study suggests that some sexual myths still persist. \r\nEverlywell, a telehealth brand which offers home-STI testing services, among other things, surveyed 1,000 American adults about “common sexual health topics.” The results, sadly, were not encouraging. \r\nRELATED: Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex \r\nThe Snapshot\r\nIt’s no secret that the sex education people receive growing up is often, well, a bit lacking. \r\nIt tends to over-focus on negative outcomes regarding STIs and pregnancy, while overlooking topics like pleasure and consent. But in today’s modern world, where everyone has access to oodles of information, surely that’s not such a big concern, right? \r\nRELATED: What You’d Learn in Sex Ed Today That You Didn’t 20 Years Ago \r\nWell… maybe. Everlywell’s survey doesn’t paint the rosiest of pictures when it comes to people understanding sexual health basics. \r\n\r\nThe men who took part in the survey seemed stumped by questions about female arousal, the medical seriousness of ‘blue balls,’ and how STIs manifest.\r\nThe Lesson\r\nWhile it’s true that for people with vaginas, wetness is often correlated with sexual arousal, the two aren’t directly tied together; it’s possible to get wet without actually desiring sex, and it’s possible to be very horny and not get very wet, depending on various factors.\r\nRELATED: The Science Behind Female Arousal, Explained \r\nIt’s also true that experiencing blue balls, or vasocongestion, isn’t fun, but it’s a passing discomfort that can be relieved either by orgasming or simply becoming less aroused. Any problem that can be solved by thinking about unsexy things isn’t really a serious problem.\r\nPerhaps the most serious misperception in the study was the idea that people will inherently know if they have a sexually transmitted infection. While STIs do become symptomatic if left untreated, typically they are impossible to detect without testing in the early going. Knowing that can make a big difference when it comes to your sexual health — and your partners’. \r\nThe real lesson here is that despite all the information out there, lots of people still don’t know much about sex. Luckily for you, AskMen has tons of informative articles about sex to check out! \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat Is Sexual Consent? Here’s What You Should Know\r\nWhy Porn Is a Terrible Form of Sex Education\r\nMistakes That Can Lead to Sexually Transmitted Infections", "keywords": "New, Survey, Shows, Sex, Miseducation, Still, Rampant", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "103", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/new-survey-shows-sex-miseducation-is-still-rampant/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1723840951.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/new-survey-shows-sex-miseducation-is-still-rampant.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "60123", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Men Can Have Multiple Orgasms", "title_slug": "how-men-can-have-multiple-orgasms", "title_hash": "5fa8db575f98419c7be3a3a25dccc437", "summary": "If you want to finally experience what women have been raving about for years, then you've come to the right place; again and again.", "content": "Though pornography and movies might make it seem like most women can have multiple orgasms every time they have sex, that’s not exactly what it tends to look like in real life.\r\n\r\nAn even more difficult challenge, though? Having multiple orgasms yourself. And no, I’m not talking about finishing one sex session, taking a mini nap, having a snack and then going for round two.\r\nContrary to what many people believe, it is actually physically possible for people with penises to reach climax more than once before they ejaculate — via a process known by some as “injaculation.”\r\n\r\n“While most men do not have multiple orgasms, as they are not aware that they can have them through practicing some special techniques, it is true that the majority of men, with some knowledge and practice, can achieve multiple orgasms,” says sex expert and commentator Coleen Singer.\r\n\r\nIf you want to learn the secrets of turning up the intensity so you can compete with those multi-orgasmic porn stars, read on — as experts reveal what you need to know:\r\n\r\nThe Difference Between Ejaculation & Orgasm\r\n\r\nThough they might happen at exactly the same time when you are having intercourse (or receiving oral sex) — having an orgasm and ejaculating aren’t the same thing. You can actually orgasm without finishing, and if you want to O more than once, that’s the biggest hurdle to overcome. \r\n“The first step is knowing the difference between orgasms and ejaculation,” Singer explains. “Orgasms occur two to six seconds prior to ejaculation, so it’s important for men wanting to have multiple orgasms to learn techniques for having an orgasm, and then finding ways to avoid ejaculation.”\r\n“Once ejaculation occurs, the brain sends the signal to the penis to go into ‘rest and recovery’ mode,” Singer adds. \r\nRELATED: How Your Brain Impacts Your Sex Life, Explained\r\n\r\nThe Importance of Kegels\r\n\r\nBelieve it or not — some of the same moves that women use to help their pelvic muscles stay in shape are the same exercises that you can utilize to get your multiple orgasms badge of honor. In other words: do some Kegels!\r\n“Kegel exercises strengthen the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle. This is the same muscle used to stop the flow of urine,” Singer says.\r\n“Kegel exercises strengthen control over this muscle and allow the man to shut off the pump, as it were, after the orgasm and prior to ejaculation,” she explains. “An effective way to do male Kegel training is to use an app called Stamena (or Kegel Trainer on Android), which will walk you through doing progressively more difficult Kegel exercises and strengthen your PC muscle.”\r\n\r\nTake Time to Practice\r\n\r\nIf you want to last longer in bed (especially when you haven’t done the deed in quite some time), you might make an extra effort to masturbate before you head to dinner and drinks. \r\nThis same kind of practice can help predict and ensure your ability to perform in multiples. Singer recommends the a method called S.T.A.B. — which is best when used after your orgasm, but before you ejaculate (that’s why masturbation is key; you don’t want to stall the actual sex while you try figure this one out!). \r\nHow does it work? Singer explains:\r\n\r\n\tSqueeze: Right when you feel like you’re about to orgasm, Singer says to “squeeze your PC muscles hard like you’re doing an intense Kegel. Hold for at least 10 seconds, but the longer you can hold, the more you’ll down.”\r\n\tThink: This one is so simple it’s difficult to do — just think about anything other than sex or climaxing. This can help lower the intensity of your arousal, so you’re not as close to orgasm. \r\n\tAvoid: Since you know your body better than anyone else, Singer says this is when you have to actively divert your attention and motion toward something that doesn’t turn you on. She advises to avoid the head and change your stroke, without stopping entirely. Switching positions can also help cool things down for a few seconds; at the right moment, this can help you avoid climaxing too soon. \r\n\tBreathe: Singer says to breathe through your stomach to calm your heart rate, all while continuing to masturbate (or if you were having sex, you’d keep moving) and then let the orgasm happen, without ejaculation. Then, you’ll be ready to start up again!\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Age Factor With Multiple Orgasms\r\n\r\n“As young men, men typically masturbate multiple times in a row, and may not ejaculate, so that they can have multiple turns and orgasms,” says psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez. “Somehow young men tapped into the secret of how to make the choice between wet and dry orgasms.”\r\n“If you have hung onto this skill, or you are willing to practice at getting this kind of control back, multiple orgasms can literally be within your reach,” Martinez adds. \r\nRELATED: How to Intensify the Male Orgasm\r\nUltimately, however, it’s fair to remember that multiple orgasms will typically be much easier to achieve for younger guys than older ones, as the refractory period typically grows as you age, meaning your next orgasm will necessarily be further and further away over time. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHere's What It's Like to Give Someone Multiple Orgasms\r\n\tThe Female Orgasm, Explained\r\n\tHere's How to Make Her Squirt", "keywords": "How, Men, Can, Have, Multiple, Orgasms", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "98", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/07/29-120253-how_men_can_have_multiple_orgasms.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/71_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "60121", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Terry Cloth Polos", "title_slug": "best-terry-cloth-polos", "title_hash": "f32cea42dc8ee84368a2a7494ece1a22", "summary": "Prone to Excessive Sweating? These Terry Cloth Polos Belong in Your Summer Wardrobe", "content": "Too many men are sleeping on one of the summer’s best fabrics: terry cloth. If you want an easy way to look stylish and put-together, but don’t want to contend with a sweaty lower back or pit stains, the powerful absorptive properties of terry cloth (you know, the ones that make it frequently used in actual towels!) are an absolute game changer.\r\nRELATED: Best Linen Shirts for Men\r\nWhether you're dressing down for the beach or pool or looking to hit the town, these extra-comfy polos offer style and versatility. To help get you started, we picked out some of the best terry cloth polo shirts for men, across a variety of designs and budget options.\r\nOrlebar Brown Terry Towelling Resort Polo Shirt\r\n\r\nWith a tailored fit, straight hem and one-piece, button-free collar, this terry cloth polo from Orlebar Brown defines stylish summer comfort. It’s so versatile that you can wear it casually, with a color-contrasted bathing suit, or dress it up for a night on the town.\r\n$195 at OrlebarBrown.com\r\nTodd Snyder Tile Jacquard Terry Polo\r\n\r\n\r\nInspired by retro polo designs, with stylish modern touches like the buttonless placket and side seam vents, the Tile Jacquard Terry Polo offers classic styling with summer-proof design. The 76% cotton, 24% nylon blend fabric, sourced from Italy, makes this offering extra lightweight and breathable, as well as durable enough to withstand machine washing.\r\n$263 at ToddSnyder.com\r\nJ. Crew Terry Polo Shirt\r\n\r\n\r\nAdd a splash of summer green with the J.Crew Terry Polo Shirt in the Prospect Green color option. It combines slightly more formal elements like its button-up collar and lack of button-down breast pocket with a loose-loop terry fabric that gives this shirt the appearance of a plush towel, making this a perfect beach day or pool party shirt.\r\n$74.99 at JCrew.com\r\nBonobos Hudson Italian Terry Polo\r\n\r\nThere’s something inherently whimsical about terry cloth polos, and this Johnny Collar model from Bonobos fully leans into that theme, from the retro design to the button-free, extra-wide collar. The shirt is made from 100% linen yard, sourced in Italy, and must be hand washed.\r\n$119 at Bonobos.com\r\nRag & Bone Johnny Cotton-Blend Terry Polo Shirt\r\n\r\nChasing versatility in a polo? This Johnny Cotton terry polo from Rag & Bone offers an effortlessly cool aesthetic that can be dressed up or down, depending on your need. As an added bonus, it's made from their proprietary \"Zuma Toweling\" fabric, a cotton-blend terry that's extra-absorbent, so whether this is your post-pool shirt or you're just trying to control your sweat on a night out, it's made to perform.\r\n$230 at MrPorter.com\r\nMarine Layer Terry Out Varsity Polo\r\n\r\nIf you want to unleash your inner jock and need a head-turning polo to stand out at the beach or a pool party, check out the Terry Out Varsity Polo from Marine Layer in their aptly-named Baked Apple colorway. It’s made from a cotton-polyester blend, which means this polo is plush, lightweight, and massively absorbent. We love the standard fit paired with retro style elements like the buttonless collar and striped sleeves, evoking a rugby jersey.\r\n$70 at MarineLayer.com\r\nSunspel Sea Island Cotton-Terry Polo Shirt\r\n\r\nMade from extra-absorbent Sea Island cotton, this offering from Sunspel might be the perfect beach polo, complementing sun-kissed skin with its light brown color, open collar and slightly loose fit. This particular terry fabric is even extra stretchy, making it easy to move in, whether you're dancing by the pool or strolling on the beach.\r\n$135 at MrPorter.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Lightweight Pants for Summer Into Fall\r\n\tBest Short Shorts for Men\r\n\tBest Lightweight Long-Sleeve Shirts for Men", "keywords": "Best, Terry, Cloth, Polos", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "117", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-terry-cloth-polos/askmen-lead-image-template-1724087938.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-terry-cloth-polos.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-20 06:55:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59804", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Following National Funding Cuts, ‘July Was Pure Hell’ for Abortion Funds", "title_slug": "following-national-funding-cuts-july-was-pure-hell-for-abortion-funds", "title_hash": "f5f631f26a3d8d1d68459ff822dac302", "summary": "Huge investments in abortion funding held off the worst-case post-Dobbs scenario for two years. National Abortion Federation and Planned Parenthood cuts have unleashed a new crisis.\nThe post Following National Funding Cuts, ‘July Was Pure Hell’ for Abortion Funds appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

On July 23, DC Abortion Fund made a public emergency funding appeal.

“We have a DC caller with an appointment this week and a $14,000 funding gap,” the organization said on X. “We are calling on this community to dig deep and help close this gap!”

DC Abortion Fund (DCAF) is among the country’s largest independent abortion funds. Emergency asks are “not something we like to do, because I think it creates panic,” said Alisha Dingus, DCAF’s development director. In other words, if DCAF is out of money, it spells trouble for all.

But the fund’s leaders felt they had no choice. As of July 1, the National Abortion Federation (NAF)—which operates the largest national financial assistance program for abortion patients in the United States—has made significant cuts to the amount of aid it offers per person, changes the organization said were necessary to extend its funds through the end of the year. This comes alongside cuts from Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA), which also provides financial assistance for many of its patients in collaboration with NAF and through other internal programs.

“We have generous funding,” NAF CEO and President Brittany Fonteno told Rewire News Group. “It’s also not limitless funding, unfortunately, and because of the significant increase in patient need, it has just really depleted the funds much faster in 2024 than in previous years.”

In the first two years after the fall of Roe v. Wade, improbably—almost impossibly—hundreds of thousands of people who live in states where abortion is now illegal have gotten abortions anyway. But, according to available spending data, RNG estimates that supporting them cost well over $100 million.

Previously, the Justice Fund, a shared NAF and PPFA program, covered up to 50 percent of the cost of an abortion for qualifying callers. Now, that ceiling is 30 percent.

But the independent abortion fund leaders and providers from across the country who have been left to navigate this shortfall told RNG that these numbers don’t convey the full extent of the cuts. Discretionary funds that used to cover well over 50 percent of some patients’ costs are also gone, and each NAF member clinic now has a monthly cap on assistance, which sometimes results in patients receiving even less than 30 percent.

These changes were announced with only a few weeks’ notice.

“July was hell,” said Macy Haverda, president of the Wild West Access Fund of Nevada (WWAF). “I don’t have any other way of putting it. July was pure hell.”

‘What are we going to do?’

With the biggest and best-funded national organizations in the space now saying they can no longer sustain the level of assistance they were providing, the abortion access movement is staring down a cliff, confronting the real possibility that large numbers of people could now be unable to obtain abortions altogether.

This change and—in the eyes of many grassroots groups—its inexcusably last-minute nature, have prompted what many say should be a reckoning in the reproductive rights and justice movements about who controls the purse strings and priorities.

According to financial records, the NAF Hotline Fund—the nonprofit through which NAF manages its financial assistance—disbursed more than $52 million in grants and direct assistance in 2022, the year Roe was overturned.

Local abortion funds, nearly half of which remain all-volunteer operations, still rely heavily on small-dollar donations, as opposed to NAF’s institutional support. Nevertheless, abortion funds moved mountains: In the first year following Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the National Network of Abortion Funds reported that its member funds collectively distributed nearly $37 million.

Still, NAF is the single biggest player in the abortion funding game. And changes to its funding structure sent everyone else in the space scrambling.

NAF first warned its members—mostly abortion clinics, and a handful of independent abortion funds—that an adjustment was coming to its financial assistance for procedures in late May. Another email detailing the cut to 30 percent arrived on June 6, according to several sources who received the email.

However, recipients told Rewire News Group that the initial email did not make clear that each member clinic would also be operating with a monthly cap on NAF assistance. That detail, one abortion provider said, was only shared explicitly in meetings held on June 18 and 20. This left only about a week and a half before cuts went into effect on July 1.

And because so few independent abortion funds are NAF members, most heard the news secondhand, via group chats or from partner organizations.

“My phone, oh my God,” said Megan Jeyifo, executive director of Chicago Abortion Fund (CAF), another of the country’s largest independent abortion funds. “All the clinicians started calling me, like, ‘What are we going to do?’”

A flood of demand

CAF normally hears from about 1,000 callers per month, Jeyifo said. This July, its call volume jumped to 1,700 per month. In an attempt to ease the process, CAF made a block grant to Illinois’ largest independent abortion clinic, Family Planning Associates, rather than funding patients individually. In May, CAF disbursed about $20,000 in individual procedure funding to FPA. A July block grant of $80,000 didn’t last the month.

Abortion funds across the country saw a similarly unmanageable increase in need.

Florida’s Tampa Bay Abortion Fund pledged more than $100,000 in July alone, according to board member and volunteer Kris Lawler. That’s double what it spent in previous months, even after Florida’s six-week ban went into effect in May.

Baltimore Abortion Fund also made an emergency appeal in July, writing on X that it would need $25,000 to help 30 clients close funding gaps.

WWAF’s payments to clinics in July were 24 percent higher than in June, Haverda said, and 61 percent higher than in April, a more typical month.

Multiple abortion funds said they had clients who arrived at clinics and were told that, despite what NAF’s hotline promised, less assistance was available to them due to the caps. Two funds said they had callers who rescheduled end-of-month appointments in July for August in the hopes of being able to receive the full 30 percent assistance.

The changes have forced many funds to make their own shifts. DCAF, which had previously funded clinics as far away as West Virginia, limited its service area to the Washington, D.C. metro area. The fund now has a weekly budget for clients traveling from outside D.C., Dingus said. Every week since implementing this system, DCAF has reached this weekly limit by Tuesday. For now, DCAF will still go over its budget to help D.C. residents.

Chicago Abortion Fund, too, was a “fund of last resort” for many who had been turned away elsewhere, Jeyifo said. It had previously funded people seeking care in clinics as far away as Kansas, but has had to suspend this practice.

Colorado’s Cobalt Abortion Fund also announced new capacity limits last month. Cobalt’s director, Melisa Hidalgo-Cuellar, said it spent more in on procedural funding in July than in any previous month. South Carolina’s Palmetto State Abortion Fund Executive Director Ashlyn Preaux said they implemented a $300 cap on local procedures, and added that the NAF clinic caps make booking appointments “unmanageable.”

I Need an A told RNG that Blue Ridge Abortion Fund, Carolina Abortion Fund, Florida Access Network, Indigenous Women Rising, Richmond Reproductive Freedom Project, and Utah Abortion Fund also reported closures or funding reductions in July.

Some of these funds are turning people away for the first time since Dobbs. Others are still aiming to avoid that.

Destini Spaeth, chair of the Prairie Abortion Fund, said she understands why some funds are setting new limits.

“But for us, if we have any money in the bank, that’s going to abortion seekers,” she said. “Nobody is not gonna have an abortion because we didn’t contribute.”

One caller traveling from Georgia to Minnesota for her abortion told Spaeth she had contacted ten other abortion funds. Prairie Abortion Fund, which is based in North Dakota, was the first to respond.

The struggle has deepened into August.

“We hit our monthly budget limit on August 6,” said Erin Bilbray, executive director of another Nevada fund, Silver State Hope Fund. “It has never been even close to this bad.”

Impact on later abortion care and low-income patients

NAF declined to share its funding eligibility criteria with RNG, but multiple fund sources confirmed it’s based on federal poverty levels, meaning NAF assistance goes only to those who need it most. So even before the cuts, local abortion funds were filling in significant gaps for people who didn’t qualify.

“It often feels like we are being backed into a corner because of our values,” Savannah Trebuna, director of Kentucky Health Justice Network’s abortion fund, said. “We are not going to concede to this funding crisis, and I think national organizations take that and weaponize it … because the function, at least, of KHJN is to provide direct services.”

The cuts are especially devastating in areas where funds and clinics were more reliant on additional discretionary support from NAF. For example, Haverda said NAF would fund some second trimester procedures in Nevada up to 80 percent.

Exceptions were especially crucial for later abortion care, which often takes place across multiple days and is inaccessible even in many states where abortion is broadly legal. Both the procedure itself and the incidental costs are more expensive.

“For better or for worse, we were so dependent on NAF exceptions, especially for hospital-based care,” Jeyifo said.

Dingus said that in D.C., NAF often fully funded first trimester abortions, allowing DCAF to focus on funding clients needing later abortions. This was critically important, given that the D.C. area is one of few places in the country where outpatient, all-trimester abortion care is available.

“Now we’re seeing people who aren’t even getting 30 [percent] … $600 [in NAF assistance] on a $15,000 procedure, it’s like nothing.” Dingus said.

Dr. Diane Horvath, co-founder and medical director of the Maryland all-trimester clinic Partners in Abortion Care, agreed.

“One example would be a very young patient, who needed to travel a significant distance and needed significant support. For that patient, we could often find them a higher percentage of the fee,” Horvath said. “Same thing for truly indigent patients, so folks that are unhoused and really have access to no money. We could work with NAF to make sure that they were fully funded or close to fully funded. And that possibility is also gone now.”

Horvath spoke with RNG on August 9. Just that week, she said, Partners discounted almost $15,000 in services for patients.

“That’s a giant chunk of payroll for the month,” Horvath said. “I can’t do that every week. But I did it because people are desperate, and we want to do the right thing.”

She added that since the cuts went into effect several patients have not shown up for their appointments.

“I’ve told our schedulers, please tell people to come with whatever they have,” Horvath said. “Our intent is to see them, even if they don’t have the full fee.”

But independent clinics like Partners can’t do that for much longer if they want to keep their doors open.

DuPont Clinic, another D.C. all-trimester clinic, has also taken a significant financial hit.

“Last week, we discounted almost $21,000 in order to move forward with care for patients in the building,” Karishma Oza, the clinic’s director of care coordination, said. “Between July 1 and August 9, 2024, the clinic has already lost over $51,000 in clinic discounts.”

Independent clinics like Partners and DuPont can’t continue on like this for much longer if they want to keep their doors open.

A $20 million funding gap

\"Photo — *Alexis McGill Johnson, Planned Parenthood president (Austen Risolvato/Rewire News Group)*

Fonteno told RNG it was a “devastating, heartbreaking decision to decrease the amount of spend per patient in order to stretch our dollars for the rest of the calendar year so that we could try to help as many as possible.”

She emphasized that the per-patient cuts are not the result of a loss of funding or an overall budget reduction, but rather a result of demand outpacing NAF’s current resources. Prior to the changes, NAF was funding $6 million per month in abortion care, Fonteno said. The cuts are intended to reduce that by half.

On June 18, NAF held a fundraising webinar tied to its announcement of the cuts.

“In order to keep funding at our current rate, and to continue to be able to cover up to 50 percent of the procedure cost for eligible patients, we would need an additional 20 million dollars to get us through the end of the year,” Fonteno said in the webinar. She also said NAF would need an additional $1.4 million to help with travel expenses.

Fonteno told RNG that NAF’s contribution to the Justice Fund for 2024 is $55 million, which is “the most generous in the history of the program.”

However, each new abortion ban drives demand. For example, since Florida’s six-week ban went into effect, NAF has seen a 575 percent increase in callers who need to travel out of the state for care.

“In the first quarter of 2024, we assisted 14 percent more people and spent 20 percent more in patient assistance funding in comparison to the same time of 2023,” Fonteno said.

NAF’s hotline receives as many as 500 unique calls in a day, according to its senior director Rachel Lachenauer. An increase in travel cost also drives the spending increase. This is influenced by inflation, but also by the fact that significantly more patients are being forced to travel to large metro areas, which can double the cost.

RNG was not made aware of NAF’s per-clinic caps until after speaking with Fonteno.

“In order to stretch our funds through the end of the year and help as many people as possible, each facility is working within a monthly budget based on their patient volume,” she said in response to a follow-up.

A Planned Parenthood representative said the organization could not share its exact contribution to the Justice Fund, or to patient assistance more generally, “due to our disclosure policy for donations and grants.”

Many abortion fund sources criticized PPFA for being even less transparent than NAF about cuts to some of its other internal programs, which began before the Justice Fund changes were announced. Trouble has been brewing for some time: Last year, RNG reported that PPFA was set to pause one of these programs, the Emergency Access Fund. However, that fund was at least partially reinstated after publication.

“Providing direct patient support to help connect people to care is needed, but cannot solve the failures of our health-care system and political landscape,” Danika Severino Wynn, vice president of care and access at PPFA, said in a statement to RNG.

$100M policy campaign—without grassroots abortion funds

Adding insult to injury for many abortion funds was the announcement of the Abortion Access Now (AAN) campaign, which came in late June, on the second Dobbs anniversary, as funds and clinics were scrambling to prepare for the funding cuts.

AAN is a ten-year, $100 million policy campaign from major reproductive rights groups. At the time of the campaign’s announcement, NAF was not part of the coalition but has since joined “as a steering committee member, in a solely advisory capacity to share the voice and perspective of independent abortion providers,” according to a spokesperson.

But no local abortion funds have ever been part of the coalition. Even the National Network of Abortion Funds, the national organization whose membership includes most, though not all local funds, was never approached.

“We found out when everyone else found out about it,” NNAF Executive Director Oriaku Njoku said. “I cannot imagine doing any work around abortion access without including the people who actually make abortion accessible in that conversation.”

“The idea that they didn’t engage funds beforehand … it just, frankly, shows what they think of us,” Jeyifo said.

Trebuna agreed.

“I really feel like the meetings were a way for them to say, ‘Well, we tried. Those abortion funds, they’re always upset about something,’” she said. Trebuna, along with several other abortion fund leaders who spoke with RNG for this story, co-authored an op-ed on this subject published in the Nation.

A group of later abortion providers, patient advocates, and reproductive justice organizers also released the Abortion Justice Now policy memo, urging national organizations to advocate for more expansive abortion protections than they have in the past.

“As Abortion Access Now, our focus is driving a federal policy strategy for abortion access. Our mission is distinct, but complementary to the urgent and necessary work of grassroots abortion funds … We are committed to using our positioning to advocate with funders for more commitment to the work of abortion funds and beyond,” AAN’s executive committee said in a statement to RNG.

Fund leaders say: Invest local

NAF is actively fundraising to restore its previous financial assistance capacity. But abortion fund leaders said they’d rather see that money reinvested in their own organizations. The abruptness of the cuts, many of them said, is proof that national organizations aren’t the best stewards of their substantial funds.

Abortion funds do the same work as national assistance programs better, and with fewer resources, fund leaders argued. For example, many expressed frustration with NAF’s travel assistance program, which scaled up rapidly post-Dobbs. It has often created logistical problems that have to be solved by abortion funds with greater knowledge of their local areas, they said. And Planned Parenthood affiliates have long been known to refer patients only to other affiliates, even when an independent clinic would be closer or have an appointment available sooner.

Even NNAF does not escape scrutiny from its own members, who say that the organization could be distributing more money to its member funds.

This moment “has called us to really reexamine the ways that we are able to move money,” Njoku said. “What that looks like is still in discussion because everything just feels so uncertain.”

Abortion funds had hoped to see a major shift in philanthropy post-Dobbs, but that hasn’t come to fruition.

“Even when we had the increase in donations, it was still mostly small-dollar grassroots donations,” Dingus said. “We didn’t see big philanthropy come to abortion funds and say, what can we do to make this process easier for abortion seekers?”

That’s what needs to happen next, fund leaders said.

“Either we push these national organizations towards change, or we push them out of the way,” Spaeth said.

The post Following National Funding Cuts, ‘July Was Pure Hell’ for Abortion Funds appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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How can Vice President Kamala Harris go beyond “restore Roe” messaging during her presidential run? What are the odds that a state like Michigan, where voters enshrined abortion rights into the state constitution, could have that overturned in a second Donald Trump presidency?

Join Jess and Imani this week as they respond to these questions and more—submitted by you, our listeners. And stay tuned for the return of Boom! Lawyered’s regular season in the fall to usher in what promises to be another unpredictable Supreme Court term.

I. Expectations and Impatience

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that episodes like this one is only made possible with the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post You Asked, We Answered: AMA With Jess and Imani! appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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“Trump didn’t answer the question I asked him at his news conference. But if he had, this is what I think he would have said and meant.”

That’s a razor sharp X post by New York Times Pitchbot, a parody account run by a professor using the alias Doug J. Balloon. What makes it so funny is that it is so on point. Legacy media outlets like the New York Times are either too sycophantic to do real journalism when it comes to the nonsense Donald Trump spews on a daily basis, or they are too afraid of him. And given his penchant for lashing out at the media and directing his army of various white supremacists and malcontents to commit violence—like when they stormed the Capitol chanting that they wanted to hang his then-vice president, Mike Pence—maybe mainstream journalists are correct to be afraid of Trump.

But do they have to be so damn helpful?

It’s been almost eight years since Trump was first elected and the media still doesn’t know how to solve a problem like him. To say that the man is a liar would be an understatement. During an August 11 press conference, Trump lied 162 times in the span of 64 minutes, according to NPR. That’s about two and a half lies per minute. Every 30 seconds he spoke, another lie popped out. They spanned from the truly ridiculous, like his incessant fabrications about the size of his rally crowds, to the sort of misogynoir that we’ve come to expect when it comes to how Trump talks about Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic nominee—she’s not smart; she’s incompetent; and is she even Black?

He lies. Everybody knows he lies. So why does the mainstream media continue to take what he says in good faith? And even worse, perhaps: Why does the media continue to take things he doesn’t say and turn them into things he might have said if he weren’t such a blistering dumbass?

Maybe it’s my mistake: I was unaware it was the media’s job to make a deeply stupid and sinister man seem palatable to mainstream Americans.

But that seems to be what they are doing. Last week, an NBC News reporter asked Trump a question about his policy position on mifepristone access, and his response was absolute word salad. Gibberish. Incomprehensible rubbish.

This is what he said in response to a question from NBC’s Garrett Haake about a national abortion ban and whether he would be open to ordering the FDA to revoke the authorization for mifepristone:

What is he talking about? Seriously, what is that supposed to mean?

Haake then asked: “Is that something you would consider?” to which I say, literally, what?

Is what something Trump would consider? What are you referring to, Garrett? His insistence that everybody has a vote? Or some nebulous things “that would supplement absolutely” but which also would be “pretty open and humane.” What does that even mean? Where I come from, if a person gives an answer like that, you should follow up with, “What the actual fuck are you talking about?” Or, if unlike me, you’re a professional, “Can you explain what you mean?”

But of course Haake didn’t do that, leaving Trump to continue to ramble about giving everyone a vote: “There are many things on a humane basis that you can do outside of that, but you also have to give a vote.” Give a vote to whom? And for what?

Should Trump get reelected, the fact that he really doesn’t care about abortion means he will do whatever the Christian right wants him to do.

Reread Trump’s responses. Does that sound like a man who knows what mifepristone is? Of course not. Because he doesn’t.

So why have reporters treated this response as if it were substantive? Perhaps it was unfair of me to open this commentary with a tweet from an account that relentlessly mocks the New York Times, because in all fairness to the Gray Lady, the Times is one of few outlets that didn’t run with a headline about how Trump was perhaps open to banning mifepristone.

But the Washington Post did. And so did NBC News. And Vox. Even the New Republic recognized Trump’s response to the question as gibberish, but then gave him an unnecessary assist by reporting the exchange as if he had made some policy pronouncement about mifepristone.

He hadn’t. That’s because he doesn’t know what mifepristone is. He doesn’t know what he was being asked. And what’s more? Even if he did know—he doesn’t care.

Trump doesn’t care if mifepristone is banned or not. He doesn’t even care if abortion is legal or criminalized. The only thing he cares about when it comes to abortion is whether his record on it and the furious response to his Supreme Court’s reversal of Roe v. Wade two years ago will keep him from winning the upcoming election. Because if it does, it keeps him in the crosshairs of the various state and federal prosecutors like Jack Smith and Fani Willis, who are trying to hold him accountable for his many crimes.

The man lies. And he doesn’t know what mifepristone is. So can we please stop pretending that he does?

Should Trump get reelected, the fact that he really doesn’t care about abortion means he will do whatever the Christian right wants him to do. Right now they‘re mad at him because even though he brags about killing Roe, he knows that abortion is a winning issue for Democrats, so he has tried to distance himself from his prior positions. But that’s not because he’s moving to the center on abortion. It’s because he needs to win so that he can avoid jail time for his many crimes.

So to the journalists out there who are covering this ongoing human rights crisis—and I will keep saying that the criminalization of abortion following the reversal of Roe has sparked a legitimate human rights and health-care crisis that Donald Trump has no intention of ameliorating—can you please stop helping this man? Just stop. Just report what he says. Ask follow-up questions. And if he does not or cannot answer your question, then report on that. Just please, for the love of the old gods and the new, stop helping him. You’re embarrassing yourselves.

Will he ban the abortion pill? Yes. But does he know what it is?

Nope.

The post How Do You Solve a Problem Like the Media’s Relationship With Trump? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Next week in Chicago, Democrats will hold their first national convention since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and abortion became a central issue in subsequent elections, including the upcoming presidential election. The convention could also be the first time Democrats wrestle with moving beyond a Roe framework on abortion access and adopting something broader and more progressive. If that happens, it will be because of abortion rights advocates’ tireless work to move a potential Kamala Harris administration to the left of her current boss, President Joe Biden.

Despite embracing an arguably broader framing of “reproductive freedom” when campaigning on abortion access than Biden has in office, Vice President Harris is on record supporting a restoration of Roe. That position places her squarely in line with centrists who still see the Roe compromise as a comfortable and workable political framework for abortion. But unlike Biden, Harris may be moveable, and advocates are doing the right thing by continuing to push her.

When Harris first ran for the 2020 Democratic nomination, Roe was still the law of the land. Then, she stood apart from other Democratic candidates on abortion with a thoughtful—if flawed—proposal to require that state-level abortion restrictions receive federal “pre-clearance” before going into effect. The model was based on how the now-gutted Voting Rights Act treated state-level restrictions on voting rights. While it certainly wouldn’t have fixed the mess made by Roe—let alone the mess made worse by reversing it—Harris deserves points for taking a different approach than the rest of the Democrats. And maybe, just maybe, that kind of tactical and creative approach to the abortion access crisis is evidence that a President Harris could be moved to embrace and advocate for something beyond Roe.

The Democratic National Convention would be a great time for Harris to make that kind of pivot official.

The post Can Kamala Harris Be Moved Further on Abortion Rights? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Can, Kamala, Harris, Moved, Further, Abortion, Rights", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Fallout-Campaign-LGBTQ-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/15/can-kamala-harris-be-moved-further-on-abortion-rights/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-19 01:33:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59800", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Critical Role of Independent Abortion Funds Amid National Funding Cuts", "title_slug": "the-critical-role-of-independent-abortion-funds-amid-national-funding-cuts", "title_hash": "02385cb6f4e3dac3e96a9a7862938f05", "summary": "We at the Chicago Abortion Fund are experiencing firsthand how national abortion funds are failing people seeking an abortion.\nThe post The Critical Role of Independent Abortion Funds Amid National Funding Cuts appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In July, Kayla, who’s using a pseudonym for privacy reasons, called the Chicago Abortion Fund (CAF) after weeks of trying to raise funds for an abortion and the travel needed to get to her appointment. She lived in rural Mississippi—a state with a total abortion ban—and had already rescheduled her appointment once to give herself more time to cover the costs. When I connected with her, she was defeated. The national organization that promised funding for her original appointment in June had reduced their contribution by 40 percent, and she didn’t know how she was going to get to Chicago.

I was able to assure her that we could meet her full needs, making sure she had a plane ticket, money for food and child care, and payment for her abortion. This is the kind of flexible, highly individualized support CAF provides every day. While I’m grateful to have supported Kayla as she got her abortion, she should not have had to endure a financial and logistical nightmare to get care—nobody should.

Kayla’s story is the reality for too many people. Without abortion funds, some people never get the care they need. It is an unacceptable and inhumane reality. No one should have to travel across the country for basic, time-sensitive health care, or delay their abortion care because they don’t have enough money to cover the cost.

This summer, three prominent and well-resourced national abortion funds are slashing budgets, and the access landscape—and our callers, like Kayla—are already feeling the impact. In July, the National Abortion Federation and the Justice Fund program at Planned Parenthood announced massive cuts for abortion funding. The Access Fund, a Band-Aid solution in response to the burgeoning crisis after the fall of Roe v. Wade, will be ending on August 31, leaving at least another $1 million monthly hole in the abortion funding landscape nationwide. Independent abortion funds and clinics will be left to try to fill these gaps.

The combined cuts will result in a $5 million to $7 million monthly hole in abortion funding nationwide, with devastating consequences. This extended crisis calls for an immediate and sustained investment in independent abortion funds that are best equipped to support people seeking abortion care.

Since the fall of Roe v. Wade, CAF has fielded over 25,000 requests for support from people based in 44 states and spent over $7.5 million on abortion care and related wraparound supports like transportation, lodging, child care stipends, and more. In the first month of the initial cuts, CAF pledged over $600,000 to pay for appointment costs and travel needs, more than double the amount we pledged at this time last year. We work with over 75 clinics and hospitals across Illinois and beyond, and we collaborate daily with abortion funds across the country, including Nebraska Abortion Resources, Wisconsin Medical Fund, Arkansas Abortion Support Network, and Iowa Abortion Access Fund, to streamline support for our callers. Each and every one of our partners is feeling the effects of this crisis.

Abortion funds are adept at stretching resources, but we simply cannot make something from nothing. Without immediate and sustained investment in independent abortion funds from all levels—philanthropy, grassroots donations, and all levels of government—the reality is that thousands more people will not get the abortion care they need. People will be forced to give birth, carrying financial, physical, mental, and emotional burdens with lasting impacts for their families and communities. This will be the reality soon. And for many people in situations similar to Kayla’s, it already is.

By meeting people’s immediate needs to access abortion care and showing up with kindness, we are making strides toward our vision of reproductive justice for all without denying the reality of this moment. Any long-term strategy for abortion access must prioritize immediate and sustained investment in independent abortion funds so we can get people abortion care now and every day, until we actualize reproductive freedom for all.

The post The Critical Role of Independent Abortion Funds Amid National Funding Cuts appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, Critical, Role, Independent, Abortion, Funds, Amid, National, Funding, Cuts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "138", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/CAF_OpEd_-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/15/the-critical-role-of-independent-abortion-funds-amid-national-funding-cuts/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-19 01:33:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59278", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Go for the Life Partner, Not the Prom Date", "title_slug": "go-for-the-life-partner-not-the-prom-date", "title_hash": "6fdce17d300c070a0ac0b44e830dbc2f", "summary": "Behavioral scientist-turned dating coach Logan Ury explains what matters more (and less) than you think in long-term relationships.\nThe post Go for the Life Partner, Not the Prom Date appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Behavioral scientist-turned dating coach Logan Ury explains what matters more (and less) than you think in long-term relationships.

The post Go for the Life Partner, Not the Prom Date appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", for, the, Life, Partner, Not, the, Prom, Date", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Blog_Go-for-the-Life-Partner-Not-the-Prom-Date.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/go-for-the-life-partner-not-the-prom-date/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-16 16:24:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59277", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Mindful Parenting: How to Raise Kind and Conscious Teens", "title_slug": "mindful-parenting-how-to-raise-kind-and-conscious-teens", "title_hash": "b9d3ead332e78a70f1cb2cc90ae5fce4", "summary": "Mindfulness can help you connect with your teen.\nThe post Mindful Parenting: How to Raise Kind and Conscious Teens appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Mindfulness can help you connect with your teen.

The post Mindful Parenting: How to Raise Kind and Conscious Teens appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Mindful, Parenting:, How, Raise, Kind, and, Conscious, Teens", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "102", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/The-Mindful-Parent_HI.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/mindful-parenting-how-to-raise-kind-conscious-teens/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-16 16:24:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59276", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: How I Ruined The Love Of My Life Because I Was Unfaithful", "title_slug": "true-life-story-how-i-ruined-the-love-of-my-life-because-i-was-unfaithful", "title_hash": "6c97738ae963fa148b0b5264e3069c13", "summary": "True Life Story: How I Ruined The Love Of My Life Because I Was Unfaithful Hi Lively Stones, I need relationship advise. I met the love of my life: the most stunning and intelligent girl two years ago. I think it was love at first sight. She was my sister’s colleague that came for her […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: How I Ruined The Love Of My Life Because I Was Unfaithful

Hi Lively Stones,

I need relationship advise. I met the love of my life: the most stunning and intelligent girl two years ago. I think it was love at first sight. She was my sister’s colleague that came for her birthday party. I was in a relationship at the time but I broke it off for her. I pursued her and after the initial gra gra…she was mine. Her name is Blossom (not real name). She was such a charming lady, I was in love. She was funny and made me laugh all the time. Everything was cool, the only issue was, she said no s3x before marriage.

Usually, any girl that says no s3x before marriage to me, I drop her instantly. But I could not drop Blossom. I had found my wife …so I was ready to do anything to keep her. Being faithful was not easy.I still had alot of ladies flocking around me and there was this baddie who never let me rest. I tried to play hide and seek but eventually Blossom caught me. She was devastated and said she need space.

That space made things worse, I tried, God knows I tried but the more I tried, the more I failed. After like 3 weeks, Blossom called to say she has forgiven me and wants me back. The problem now is, I love her so much but my conscience is beating me so hard. I could not imagine that Blossom broke up with me cos of cheating and yet, I still cheated on her. I think I am not good enough for her and I feel like I would hurt her again.

So, I told her it was best we stop seeing each other. This further broke her heart and she cried, asking me why,….she started apologizing for asking for personal space…I felt so bad seeing her cry but I saw she was too innocent for me…I told her she is not the one at fault that I am the one at fault. I had to confess that I cheated several times when she needed space. This confused her more and she started thinking it was because she said no s3x before marriage that I cheated on her.

Blossom said if its s3x, that she is willing to give up her virginity to be with me if that would stop me from cheating further. To an average guy, that may seem reasonable but for me, I respect Blossom so much that I don’t want her to give up something she has kept for her future husband. I thought I was that future husband but I think our moral values differed too much. I might hurt her in future. So, I still told her no even though she begged me but sometimes, she get frustrated and starts abusing me.

I don’t have that energy … I know she is in love with me, I love her too but one minute she is begging me and another she is cursing me for leading her on and deceiving her. I eventually had to block her and tried to forget her. Not up to seven months later, I heard she was engaged to be married. My sister and their friends threw her a bridal shower. After the shower, they stopped at my sister’s place to pick up a few things and I ran into her. I tried to congratulate her but she would not look at me.

Much later that night, Blossom called me….when I picked…she refused to speak for several seconds…I kept asking : hello…hello…until she said she wanted to see me to get things off her mind. I said ok…when…she said now…so I told her I would come to her place but she said she would come to mine. Like an hour later, around almost 10.45pm, Blossom came to my place….soon as she got in….she locked the door…took off her clothes and said I should f#ck her.

Me, I was confused and I begged her to calm down…she said I rejected her even when she wanted me to sleep with her…she wants to know why I don’t find her s3xually attractive…I told her that I did but I was not in a good place when we were dating. She then said, she always wanted me to be her first and she wants me to f#ck her before she finally gets married in two weeks time. I told her I could not sleep with a married woman and she said she is not married yet.

Against everything I believe in…..it happened….I disvirgined Blossom that night. After everything she cried and told me she loves me and will love me till the day she dies. Now, I realize I messed up this girl and I asked her to break up her upcoming wedding…she refused and said, even though she loves me…she would never be with me cos I would continue to hurt her. After two weeks, she got married and has never stopped sneaking to my place for s3x.

Blossom has said even if I get married tomorrow, she would still f#ck me. I don’t know how to say no to her….and I still love her…but every day, I feel so guilty….we have tried severally to stop this affair but its very hard. And Blossom became careless….her husband found out. They had a big fight. Blossom thought that would end the marriage but the husband wanted to fight for their marriage. The husband called me and asked me to leave his wife alone and I apologized.

My sister too was mad at me and warned me to leave another man’s wife alone…that I had my chance and blew it…I also apologized to my sister but Blossom showed up at my door again…I tried to reject her….she got sniper and threatened to drink it. I called her husband to come get her….he came and the family got involved. They said Blossom is suicidal. I h@te myself for this but I don’t know what to do…Blossom blames me that her life is messed up. The husband is offering me anything to leave the wife but I told him, its the wife, not me.

The husband discovered that Blossom actually got pregnant and had an abortion cos she was not sure if it was mine or the husband’s. I am completely sorry about this whole thing and wish I never hurt Blossom. She finally filed for a divorce. Her husband is not willing to let her go…he has begged me not to accept Blossom back, to discourage her from the divorce…but Blossom is not happy with him…

More From Lively Stones

What should I do….should I discourage Blossom after all she has been through just to show how much she loves me? My sister is also against me and Blossom being together, she said its too messy and people will always blame me for destroying a marriage. How is that any of my fault? Blossom finally chose me? Is that not a sign that we are meant to be together? After all the obstacles we both have faced? I don’t understand the husband…your wife is in love with another man…she cheats on you with him and you still want her?

Some people say they don’t see what Blossom sees in me. A friend of mine says the husband knows Blossom is too good for me, maybe even too good for any man….and any man would fight to keep her but since Blossom is in love with me, that it’s like the once in a life time kind of love. My friend wants me to fight for our love.

Am I the bad person here? I am being selfish for wanting Blossom and I to be happy and be together again? Somehow, if I even discourage Blossom, don’t you think it will feel like letting down all over again? Even with a good husband (I have never seen a man fight for an unfaithful wife), she wants me… I don’t get this but I need your advise.

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, How, Ruined, The, Love, Life, Because, Was, Unfaithful", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "85", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/love-of-my-life.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-how-i-ruined-the-love-of-my-life-because-i-was-unfaithful/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-16 16:24:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59275", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story : How I Allowed Family Pressure To Rip Me Of Marital Happiness", "title_slug": "true-life-story-how-i-allowed-family-pressure-to-rip-me-of-marital-happiness", "title_hash": "3e078ced0ba33dada0aaebed9d14a9de", "summary": "True Life Story : How I Allowed Family Pressure To Rip Me Of Marital Happiness Dear Lively Stones, Please hide my identity. I am a finished man who allowed family pressure to ruin my life. I need advise. I was in a relationship with a lady from middle belt. She was everything I wanted in […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story : How I Allowed Family Pressure To Rip Me Of Marital Happiness

Dear Lively Stones,

Please hide my identity. I am a finished man who allowed family pressure to ruin my life. I need advise. I was in a relationship with a lady from middle belt. She was everything I wanted in a wife and I introduced her to my family. Due to some unfounded history my family had with a late Uncle’s wife from the same middle belt, the whole family kicked against me marrying someone from the middle belt again. I tried my best for them to accept her but they warned me that if I go ahead to marry her, that a spiritualist has said that I will die before I am 40 and the woman will be the one behind my death.

After everything, I had to break up with this lady cos the pressure was too much. What broke my heart was that, the lady told me she was pregnant but because of my family, I told her to abort the pregnancy. I gave her money for it. Thereafter, my elder sister’s husband introduced me to a girl from his village. They spoke highly of the girl and since I was just desperate to marry before I am 40 years old ( I was 38 years at the time), I married this girl.

The girl they made me marry was nothing but a disaster. From the day she moved into my house, she was trouble. She is lazy and dirty. I had to hire a maid to help cos she got pregnant not long after the marriage and became even more lazier. There was no peace in the house. This girl that is just 25 years old disrespected me at the slightest opportunity. I reported her to my inlaw and they all told me to be patient. That its because I am older, that she is young and will soon be more mature as a wife with time.

I found out that this girl was forced by her people to marry me, so she was just rebelling. She never liked me or tried to love me. So, it was a case of two people who were forced into marriage by their families. We fought and quarreled everyday. People advised me to ignore her, that a man cannot be fighting his wife every day. So, for peace sake, I focused on women outside. I must confess, I even started having s3x with our maid cos my wife began to deny me s3x and I felt I should punish her for that by sleeping with the maid.

When she found out, she reported me to my family and a family meeting was called, the family advised us to stop fighting and give the marriage a chance. I promised to stop cheating if she treated me with respect and she promised to do so. So we both started trying to be kind to each other and the marriage became a bit bearable. Truth is, I could not bring myself to love my wife even after everything.

Matters took a different turn when that lady from middle belt sent me a picture of a little boy she aid is my son. She did not carry out the abortion. She said she does not want anything from me, just for me to know I have a son. She got admission to study abroad and she is taking the boy with her. I called her and went to see her. When I saw my son, I broke down and cried. I realized I was a fool to have not married this woman. My son is my exact carbon copy.

Its been four years and I am 42….this woman is 36 years old. I still love her and want to marry her…I do not want to loose her a second time…but she said she does not want to come in-between my marriage. But my marriage is like a prison. My wife and I just tolerate each other…no love…we don’t gist…we don’t do anything as husband and wife….s3x is just mechanical. No feelings. I told my wife what happened, that I have a son and want to win the mother’s heart back, she started begging me not to divorce her.

That is my dilemma now. I wish I bever allowed my family dictate for me. I have 2 children …girls with my wife (my wife even sent my daughter that is barely 3 years old, to beg me not to leave their mother) but my ex whom I am very much in love with, has a son for me. She wants nothing from me and I am at the stage of loosing her and my son cos she does not want to destroy my marriage. I feel I should ignore my wife’s begging and for once, choose myself…I deserve to be happy for once in my life. I am done with those trying to black mail my life.

More From Lively Stones

I yielded to their pressure and married the wrong woman. Now, she is begging me not to divorce her…not because we are in love…but because she wants the security that comes from being called a married woman. I can’t. Please advise me. My ex is travelling in October. I have to make a decision….surely, if I don’t divorce my wife….I will remain unhappy for the rest of my life. Even my family is regretting this my marriage…they don’t like my wife too…they also admitted they lied about the spiritual reason they gave me to leave my ex…they said it was just to prevent me from marrying a woman from the middle belt…so right now, they have said I can do whatever I like.

Its only my elder sister and her husband who recommended my wife that are saying that I should not divorce her, that marriage is for better or worse. That my wife will get better with time. My in-law even advised me to keep my ex as a mistress….that its better than filing for divorce. The issue is, my ex does not want to be my side chick…its either I am a single man or nothing. I know she loves me, that is why she kept our child. She said she wanted a reminder of the love we once shared. I have begged her to give me to resolve this and she says she cannot wait beyond October.

Please advise me…what should I do…help me make a decision that will be the best for me. I have not been able to sleep well or have rest of mind for over four years now. I am finished.

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story, How, Allowed, Family, Pressure, Rip, Marital, Happiness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "94", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/family-pressure.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-how-i-allowed-family-pressure-to-rip-me-of-marital-happiness/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-16 16:24:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59274", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: My Fiancé Shocked Me With His Demand For Pre-Nup", "title_slug": "true-life-story-my-fiance-shocked-me-with-his-demand-for-pre-nup", "title_hash": "6a913529c4c3901173c47a2322e313aa", "summary": "True Life Story: My Fiancé Shocked Me With His Demand For Pre-Nup Dear Lively Stones, Please how do you feel about pre-nups? I am a typical girl who believes that marriage is sacred and its for ever. Currently, I live in UK but my fiancé is in Nigeria. We are both medical doctors. We have […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: My Fiancé Shocked Me With His Demand For Pre-Nup

Dear Lively Stones,

Please how do you feel about pre-nups? I am a typical girl who believes that marriage is sacred and its for ever. Currently, I live in UK but my fiancé is in Nigeria. We are both medical doctors. We have been dating for many years, from while we both worked in teaching hospital in Lagos. We got engaged and did our marriage introductions according to Yoruba tradition.

Then I got my papers and travelled to UK. The plan is for my fiancé to join me as soon as possible. Infact, his papers are already in process. Then one day, we were just gisting normally and talking about how modern marriages especially celebrity marriages now require pre-nups as a must before marriage.

Out of no where, my fiancé said he also believes in pre-nup and that we too should get a pre-nup. I was shocked cos all through our dating, which is almost five years, he never mentioned something like this. To me, pre-nup, is like already setting your marriage for failure. Yes, that is my belief. Europeans and Americans do it but not us as Africans. So, I told him, no I would never agree to that.

My fiancé was quiet and said that would be a problem if I refuse. I asked him how, he said, maybe we should then reconsider our marriage plans because its like both of us have different ideas on the matter. Can you believe what this man is saying? To be honest, some of my friends say its a good idea because, if there is ever a breakup of the marriage, me, as the woman will get a fair share of our assets, etc.

That is my fear, why are we even talking about break up for marriage that has not even started? Is my man foreseeing a future breakup? This scares me cos I believe marriage is forever….no divorce….my fiancé says he knows but with the way women of these days behave, with all that feminism crap, that even though we love each other, that both of us living in UK, maybe things might change and he does not want to risk everything he has worked for to divorce if it happens.

This whole crap that when Nigerians japa, their wives will change and all that is the reason he is talking like this…but for God’s sake, why wont he trust me? I know he knows am not the materialistic type. And why will he think we will ever divorce?

More From Lively Stones

I love my fiancé to the moon and this mindset worries me. And even after I have tried to convince him that we don’t need a pre-nup, that we will never divorce, he says he will not go ahead with the marriage if I refuse a pre-nup. I am confused and upset and afraid. I actually feel betrayed. I have not spoken to my fiancé since two days. He’s been calling and I only texted him that why is he calling if he does not agree with me. He just texted …ok.

I have spoken to a few of our close friends about this…they have talked to my fiance…he is telling them that my refusal for pre-nup is showing that I have ulterior motive…he says if I am so sure that we will never divorce, then I should not be afraid of a pre-up….what kind of talk is that? Does he not know that the power of tongue is strong…even if we both don’t believe in break up and yet we sign pre-nup….are we not giving that power over our marriage someday?

Please, what do you people think? Do you agree with pre-nup? Or do you agree with me that its a assurance of the failure of any marriage? Should I just sign and believe we will never need it in future? Please, let me know what you think and what I should do.

Thank you.

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Fiancé, Shocked, With, His, Demand, For, Pre-Nup", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/prenup.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-my-fiance-shocked-me-with-his-demand-for-pre-nup/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-16 16:24:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59111", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Endurance Game", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-endurance-game", "title_hash": "ed14f58fe9c6ecad822b30db4ae1382a", "summary": "Some girls will hit you with lots of resistance. Even if they like you, they won’t go past a certain point. You may want to give up. But what if you endure?\nOn a recent article of mine, a reader asked:\nChase,\nYou've repeatedly said to move \"fast.\" But I'm seeing field reports of beating around the bush for hours on end. There's one from a dude who was \"vibing\" for 90 mins. Another one was from a guy who expended three hours before doing constant thigh rubbing. After some resistance, he gave up.\nMaybe you could do another article about \"moving things along purposefully\"?\n\nI like the topic suggestion.\nHowever, reading this comment actually makes me think of a different topic that I feel like writing about more today instead. So, with apologies to our commenter (and perhaps I will circle back to purposeful forward movement… although I have already covered making invites, getting compliance, dealing with girls telling you no, and forward movement; how to time your moves and use ‘timers’ to", "content": "

$\"endurance$ Some girls will hit you with lots of resistance. Even if they like you, they won’t go past a certain point. You may want to give up. But what if you endure?

On a recent article of mine, a reader asked:

I like the topic suggestion.

However, reading this comment actually makes me think of a different topic that I feel like writing about more today instead. So, with apologies to our commenter (and perhaps I will circle back to purposeful forward movement… although I have already covered making invites, getting compliance, dealing with girls telling you no, and forward movement; how to time your moves and use ‘timers’ to not stall out, what creates resistance; plus a whole slew of ways to bust through it somewhat to death already), I’m going to write on that topic instead.

The topic for today’s Tactics Tuesday is endurance runs… a surprisingly simple girl-getting strategy, which we have talked about here and there, but one I am frankly a bit surprised more men don’t employ.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Endurance, Game", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "126", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/endurance-game-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-endurance-game", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-15 15:07:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59110", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Adjustable Dumbbells", "title_slug": "best-adjustable-dumbbells", "title_hash": "8b86c312a3742dab53b6eaf0a49f97b0", "summary": "Save Money & Space While Still Adding Versatility to Your Home Gym", "content": "If you want a full set of dumbbells, as you would find in any commercial gym, you need to be rich in both money and space. Those suckers are heavy and take up a lot of room, and a full set of dumbbells from 5 to 100 lbs will cost you thousands of dollars (assuming you're purchasing them new), no matter where you order from. But what if you want the range of motion and variety of movement patterns that dumbbells offer, but don't have the space or the coin to get yourself a full rack?\r\nRELATED: Best Weight Benches\r\nThat's where adjustable dumbbells come in. They offer a variety of weights in a single, convenient design. The best adjustable weights are simple to use and allow you to flip through weight ranges quickly while offering a wide range of loads. They also need to be built to last, since unlike traditional dumbbells, adjustable dumbbells have enough moving parts that their durability can decline over time.\r\nThat having been said, here are some of our favorite adjustable dumbbells to open up killer home workouts.\r\nBowflex SelectTech 552\r\n\r\nYes, the price tag seems aggressive. But when you think about it, for this price you get 15 weight variations without having to line up a full rack of dumbbells in your living room. Changing weights is as simple as twisting a dial to flip between 5 pounds and 52.5 pounds. Then just lift the weights from the dock. When we tested the SelectTech 552, we found it the easiest to adjust on the fly. Swapping weights quickly makes adjustables like these perfect for high intensity interval workouts and the SelectTech’s wide weight range also makes them an excellent told for heavy strength training.\r\n$549 for two at Amazon.com\r\nCore Fitness Adjustable Dumbbells\r\n\r\n\r\nAn excellent budget option, especially for people who don't need the heavier weights of some of the larger sets, the Core Fitness pair range in weight from 5 to 50 pounds in 5 pound increments. The patented Twist Lock technology allows you to adjust the weight quickly by a simple twist of the (ergonomic and textured soft grip) handle, while the included stands are sturdy and stable.\r\n$379.99 for two at Amazon.com\r\nNUOBELL Adjustable Dumbbells\r\n\r\n\r\nThe newest option on this list is also perhaps the most premium. NUOBELL burst onto the scene with a fast-adjusting, twist-handle design and a premium look and feel that does a better job than any other adjustable dumbbell we've tested at replicating the experience of holding regular dumbbells. These are available in two weight options (5-50 and 5-80 pounds), but if you opt for the lighter pair and regret your choice down the line, you can easily purchase a weight extension set, which is a very nice touch.\r\n$775 for two at Amazon.com\r\nPowerBlock Elite EXP Dumbbells\r\n\r\n\r\nFans of the PowerBlock Elite are most impressed by the feel of an even weight distribution. Even if this boxy adjustable option doesn’t look anything like “normal” dumbbells. The standard rack offers 50 pounds, allowing you to add and subtract weights at 2.5 and 5-pound increments. You can also purchase extension kits that get you up to 90 pounds, which is as good as having 16 pairs of dumbbells. The drawback though, is you’ll have to change weight by inserting/removing a pin to select your resistance, which takes more time to change weights.\r\n$449 for two at Amazon.com\r\nYes4All Adjustable Dumbbells\r\n\r\nYou could ditch all the hi-tech stuff and opt for an old school pair of dumbbells. The cast iron weight plates and the chrome handles will last forever. The disadvantage is, you’ll have to spin off and on the star-lock collars to keep the weights secure – not ideal interval work where you might need to change weights quickly. But for a compact, convenient and reliable pair of durable hand weights, these will last as long as you do.\r\n$74 for two (up to 60 pounds each) at Amazon.com\r\nAtivafit Adjustable Dumbells\r\n\r\n\r\nThere's a lot to love about this pair of adjustable dumbbells from Ativafit. The ergonomic handle, in a honeycomb structure for maximum integrity, the quick-adjusting dial to rapidly swap between weights, and the alloy steel construction that won't degrade or damage easily over time. These dumbbells are even particularly compact, despite their maximum weight of 88 pounds each, which makes them ideal for people working with space limitations. One thing to note, though, is that these don't adjust in the typical five-pound increments, but in levels of 11, 18, 25, 32, 39, 46, 53, 60, 67, 74, 81 and 88 pounds. \r\n$579.99 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Best Home Exercise Equipment Options\r\n\tBest Workout Recovery Tools\r\n\tHow to Build a Home Gym", "keywords": "Best, Adjustable, Dumbbells", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-adjustable-dumbbells/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1723553817.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding/best-adjustable-dumbbells.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-15 15:07:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59109", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Traveling to Europe During High Season", "title_slug": "traveling-to-europe-during-high-season", "title_hash": "08869559c269f53c2c43ae8cedbe2152", "summary": "5 Tips for Making Your Euro Trip as Fun & Stress-Free as Possible", "content": "If you’re planning to travel to Europe in August or September and are looking for one piece of advice from a seasoned travel writer (me), it’s :::drumroll::: simply don’t go. Are you crazy? It’s the hottest, most crowded time of year and you’re, quite literally, subjecting yourself to torture in the form of excessive sweat and bizarre Midwestern accents. \r\nI say this from a place of privilege, of course. ‘Murrica offers a very limited number of vacation days (sigh) and they’re typically taken during summer’s slower months.\r\nRELATED: Why Chicago Is America's Best Summer City\r\nBut if heat and excessive tourism aren’t deterrences and you’re dead-set on jetting overseas to eat, drink, and be merry, here are five tips to consider so that you have the Eurotrip of your dreams. (I followed all of these after spending the month of July in Switzerland, Italy, and Spain.)\r\n \r\n1. Upgrade Your Flight\r\n \r\nIf you have the financial means, upgrade that ticket to business class and start your journey on the right foot. You’ll enjoy a restful sleep on a flat-bed seat to avoid the aches and pains of seven-plus hours of flying in economy. This also helps to prevent the risk of jetlag, which can essentially ruin the first few days of any trip abroad. \r\nDelta One is one of the best options available, especially if you are flying out of New York’s JFK airport. Aside from the airline’s extensive list of routes to major European cities, the new Delta One Lounge redefines everything you thought a pre-flight experience could be, from an on-site restaurant with a three-course tasting menu to spa treatments, massage chairs, an outdoor patio, and enough gourmet food options to feed a small town (including a bakery with fresh-baked cookies and a fully operating pizzeria).\r\n \r\nIf you’re a bit more budget-conscious but still want the perks of a bigger seat and a dedicated menu, keep in mind that Delta also offers its Premium Select class, which is essentially what First looks like on regional flights. Passengers will enjoy the ability to recline, more space, and larger TVs — all for a fraction of the Delta One cost. \r\n2. Always Carry Loose Change…and Water!\r\n \r\nWhile Europe’s bathrooms are a helluva lot cleaner and more private than those found in the States (the floor-to-ceiling doors are clutch), many public facilities require a deposit or small fee for access. A hotel lobby is always my preferred (free) location, but if you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go, and having loose change will prevent you from crossing streets with crossed eyes. Keep at least a few Euro coins in your pocket or bag at all times for emergencies, especially if you’re knocking back way too much sangria and cheese than your stomach can handle. \r\nAlso, dehydration can make or break a trip, especially if you’re imbibing and in a constant state of sweating. Carry water 24/7, even if that means you’ll have to shell out more cash to pee. I promise that you don’t want to end up in the hospital with a language barrier. \r\n3. Stick to a Hotel Chain You’re Familiar With and Love\r\n“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” applies to many things in life, including hotel chains. If you’ve got a favorite, consider staying within the brand’s family of properties as you hop from place to place. Not only will you get the loyalty points to cash in for free nights and rewards, but you’ll know exactly what to expect, at least when it comes to service, amenities, and mattress types.\r\nHere are a handful of my European favorites:\r\n \r\nNH Collection\r\n \r\nThese are quite common in Europe and I stayed at the Venezia Murano Villa, Sevilla, Málaga, and Madrid Suecia locations. The company’s restaurant in Spain is Tablafina, with menus that vary based on the region and seasonality. While finding hole-in-the-wall locales is a travel must, don’t rule out hotel restaurants like this one with talented chefs at the helm. They make wonderful alternatives if you’re too tired to venture out. The Sevilla property, for example, served me one of my favorite croquettes the entire trip, while the beach town of Málaga wowed with its extensive list of seafood-inspired tapas. \r\ncitizenM\r\nThe beauty of citizenM is that every room is identical in size and advanced technology (an iPad controls everything from shades and temperature to electronics and the mood lighting you want for your bathroom). But what makes it a stand-out pick is the friendly staff that doesn’t just welcome you; they treat you like family. Despite being completely sold out due to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, the Zurich location went above and beyond to ensure that each and every guest felt special and accommodated, going so far as to create a Swiftie wall with pictures of concert-goers in their Swift-inspired get-ups.\r\nHilton\r\nWhile I’ve stayed at plenty of Hilton properties across the world, my most recent visit to the Curio Collection’s Anglo American in Florence far surpassed my expectations with a uniquely lofted room and what was, arguably, the best Aperol spritz I chugged the entire trip (and I had many). I also appreciated the fact that it wasn’t right smack in the middle of city center, offering more boutique-like, personalized accommodations that you don’t always find at a major chain (such as ornate wallpaper, statues, and local artwork). \r\nMarriott\r\nMarriott International is the world’s largest hotel chain, so it’s no surprise that the brand offers a bevy of options for the well-seasoned traveler. Should you find yourself in Venice, a reservation at the JW Marriott Venice Resort and Spa is an absolute must. The property is located on its own private island and is home to multiple restaurants (including Sagra Rooftop with stunning sunset views), a spa, fitness center, pool, and even a professional kitchen to conduct educational, yet highly entertaining cooking classes. The latter was the highlight of my stay, as we were able to create three pastas in less than two hours. Rooms are also spacious, sleek, and modern with oversized tubs, plush bedding, and ample storage space to stow clothes and personal belongings. \r\n4. Buy Tickets to Attractions Beforehand and Don’t Arrive Too Early\r\nIt is absolutely essential that you buy tickets to museums and attractions as far in advance as possible. Day-of ;ines for ticket offices can wind down literal streets, taking precious time away from sightseeing and eating gelato. \r\nAlso, be sure to not arrive too early to scheduled entrance times. Museum workers strictly abide by the times listed on your ticket and you’ll find yourself sitting in the hot sun for literally no reason at all if you’re early. Running late? That’s also okay. Most venues have 15 minute grace periods.\r\n \r\nThe same can be said for restaurant reservations, as well. Don’t rely on Google Maps for last-minute dining options, as many eateries are completely booked during the summer, even on weekdays.\r\n5. Consider the Train Over Low Budget Airline Flights\r\nEurope has a connection of train lines that put the U.S. to absolute shame. It’s the easiest, most reliable way to bop from city to city and even country to country. Opt for a pass through Eurail and purchase seat reservations in advance so that all you have to do is present a mobile ticket for each journey. Transportation has never been more simple and the experience will far surpass the one you may find on a budget airline such as RyanAir where they take zero accountability and provide awful customer service. (But I’m not bitter or anything…).\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nThe Best Wine Tasting in San FranciscoA Guide to Visiting QueenslandThe World's Best Hotels, According to Guest Reviews", "keywords": "Traveling, Europe, During, High, Season", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/travel/traveling-to-europe-during-high-season/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1723566944.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/travel/traveling-to-europe-during-high-season.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-15 15:07:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59108", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Corduroy Shirts", "title_slug": "best-corduroy-shirts", "title_hash": "d502fc09ce575e52d5bd6398fadb26fe", "summary": "Embrace Cord With These Versatile & Effortlessly Cool Shirts", "content": "Although it’s entirely possible you haven’t worn corduroy since you were a child, we’d like to submit that it is, in fact, the manliest fabric out there. It’s durable, warm, and comfortable on the skin, despite its thickness, and it can put up with a lot of abuse and neglect while still holding its form. Appearance-wise, it adds a layer of sophistication to any outfit, elevating its humble cotton origins to something slightly more upscale and less conventional.\r\nYou don’t need to be particularly bold or adventurous to rock some corduroy, but it can take a simple outfit and give it that extra bit of polish that distinguishes the merely put together man from the truly stylish one. \r\nRELATED: Best Shirt Jackets\r\nAnd since we’ve already covered the best corduroy pants, we thought it was high time we toured some of the best corduroy shirts available today. Our picks span a wide range of styles and prices, but each represents a worthy addition to any man’s closet.\r\nRag & Bone Finch Corduroy Button-Up Shirt\r\n\r\nThe color contrast between the \"desert\" fabric and dark buttons, the spread collar, the perfect, casual-cool length — the Finch Corduroy Button-Up Shirt from Rag & Bone perfectly showcases the style and versatility of corduroy. In appearance, fabric quality and, yes, price, this is a premium shirt, but you'll feel the difference every time you put it on.\r\n$298 at Nordstrom.com \r\nBonobos Everyday Corduroy Shirt\r\n\r\nAnother phenomenal candidate for everyday wear, effortlessly dressed up or dressed down, this fine-wale corduroy button-up from Bonobos ticks all the boxes: stylish, affordable and very comfortable. Wear it solo or layer it underneath a light sweater or cardigan or on top of a soft t-shirt for maximum outfit versatility. \r\n$49 at Bonobos.com \r\nBrooks Brothers Solid Stretch Corduroy Button-Down Shirt\r\n\r\nWide-wale cotton corduroy is perhaps the perfect transitional fabric to take you from the cooler summer nights to crisp fall days, and we particularly love this offering from Brooks Brothers, in the striking Zinfandel color. The sleeves boast adjustable button cuffs, while the fit is such that you can wear this buttoned or unbuttoned and still look well put together.\r\n$128 at Nordstrom.com \r\nBuck Mason Pinwale Cord Camp Shirt\r\n\r\nFor a more rugged, work-ready look, pick up this pinwale cord from Buck Mason. We love the double front pocket design, the wide collar, and the elegant corozo nut buttons, which provide a subtle contrast with the rye fabric.\r\n$138 at BuckMason.com \r\nH&M Regular Fit Corduroy Shirt\r\n\r\nWho said corduroy had to be expensive? We love this staple shirt from H&M, not only for its low price but its comfort and versatility. Layer it on top of a white t-shirt and wear it casually, or button it up and pair it with a nice pair of jeans for an evening on the town.\r\n$29.99 at HM.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Zip Hoodies for Working OutBest Fisherman SweatersBest Cashmere Sweaters for Men", "keywords": "Best, Corduroy, Shirts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-corduroy-shirts/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1723641456.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-corduroy-shirts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-15 15:07:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59107", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Sex Toy Cleaners", "title_slug": "best-sex-toy-cleaners", "title_hash": "42a2b26d48fafa3c6995135dff962db5", "summary": "Enjoy Your Personal Time Responsibly With These Hygiene-Enhancing Cleaning Sprays", "content": "In the excitement of owning and using a sex toy, a whole lot of people neglect a very important aspect of responsible sex toy usage: the cleanup. Sure, you could just run your toy under hot water (in fact, that’s probably what most people do) but that’s a terrible mistake, especially for something that’s going to be in regular contact with your genitals.\r\nHot water alone is not a sufficient disinfectant to combat the kind of bacteria likely to colonize your favorite masturbator, and boiling water can easily warp or otherwise permanently damage any sex toy not made entirely of glass or metal. The solution is, well, a cleaning solution, preferably something specially formulated to be strong enough to disinfect your favorite toy while mild enough to be safe to use on something that might be inserted into the human body.\r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Women\r\nThankfully, there’s no shortage of great sex toy cleaner options out there, often made by the very same companies that produce our favorite sex toys.\r\nIntiMD Multi-Purpose Hygienic Cleaner\r\n\r\nWant a non-sticky, residue-free cleaner that’s still effective against 99.9% of common germs? This multi-purpose Hygienic Cleaner from IntiMD was specifically designed to be safely used on the most sensitive, delicate human skin. Just apply a generous amount to your toys, wipe vigorously with a damp cleaning cloth, and then rinse the toy itself. \r\n$9.95 at Amazon.com \r\nAdam & Eve 4 in 1 Pure & Clean Misting Sex Toy Cleaner\r\n\r\nAdam & Eve are world-famous for their lineup of sex toys, but they haven’t neglected the importance of proper hygiene either. Witness the 4 in 1 Pure & Clean Misting Sex Toy Cleaner, an easy-to-use spray that simultaneously cleans and deodorizes your favorite toys. Their water-based, alcohol-free formula is very easy to apply and cleans without the risk of skin irritation.\r\n$7.95 at Amazon.com \r\nLELO Toy Cleaning Spray\r\n\r\nDesigned to look more like a high-end grooming product than a cleaning spray, this option from LELO uses an alcohol-free formula that doesn’t disturb the pH balance of your toy’s surface, making it especially good to use on toys like dildos and plugs that might be inserted into the human body. Better still, the fast-acting formula cleans within five seconds of application, killing harmful germs and bacteria and leaving your toy pristinely clean. \r\n$13.50 at Amazon.com \r\n#ToyLife All-Purpose Misting Toy Cleaner\r\n\r\nAnother extra-gentle formula, free of parabens, sulfates, and alcohol, the #ToyLife All-Purpose Misting Toy Cleaner does a great job cleaning plastic, glass and metal sex toys, leaving no greasy residue. The spray takes about 10 seconds to fully clear away bacteria and germs, after which you can wipe your toy down with a gentle cloth.\r\n$12.99 at Amazon.com \r\nHello Cake Toy Cleaner\r\n\r\nLess interesting than a mist and more enamored with foam? The Hello Cake Toy CLeaner uses a fragrance-free formula paired with a pump dispenser that creates a fast-acting foam that does a great job getting into every nook and cranny of your sex toy, cleaning away the hard-to-reach germs and bacteria.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \r\nLovehoney Fresh Toy Cleaner\r\n\r\nWant a water-based formula that’s safe to use on all the most common sex toy materials, from glass and metal to plastic and other synthetics? Pick up this spray-on cleaner from Lovehoney. The nozzle offers an accurate and easy way to spot clean your toys, while the fragrance-free formula delivers a fast-acting clean to your favorite toys in seconds.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \r\nJO Refreshing Toy Foaming Cleaner\r\n\r\nTested and approved for use on penile, vaginal and anal sex toys, the JO Refreshing Toy Foaming Cleaner ditches parabens, alcohol, triclosan and even ordinary soaps to deliver a fast-acting and effective cleaner that’s safe for even the most sensitive skin types. \r\n$16.59 at Walmart.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\nHow to Use a Cock RingBest Sex Toys for CouplesLovehoney Blowmotion Masturbator", "keywords": "Best, Sex, Toy, Cleaners", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-toys-games/lovehoney-launches-blowmotion-thrusting-male-masturbator/askmen-lead-image-1x1-1-1715795392.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-toys-games/best-sex-toy-cleaners.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-15 15:07:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "59106", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Beard Conditioners", "title_slug": "best-beard-conditioners", "title_hash": "458de1b8a7118dac51833a8a69f7ae31", "summary": "A lot of guys out there take great pride in their beard, and there are loads of products out there to keep beards looking their best. A beard conditioner is just one of the basics, and perhaps one of the most important steps in growing and maintaining a soft set of whiskers.\r\nJust like the hair on your head, your beard can greatly benefit from a conditioning routine. Conditioners incorporate vitamins and moisturizers to soften hair and keep it manageable. And a good beard conditioner can help keep your beard from looking wiry, and offer some moisture to keep it healthy and smooth.\r\nRELATED: Best Beard Oils\r\n“When it comes to having a beard, it is critical that you keep your skin moisturized as well as your beard hairs,” Spencer Bryce, co-founder of Live Bearded, explains. “As you grow a beard, it’s pulling the oils away from your skin, it’s gonna leave everything dry and irritated,” he says. To remedy that, Bryce suggests using an all-natural beard wash (not bar soap or body wash), but", "content": "A lot of guys out there take great pride in their beard, and there are loads of products out there to keep beards looking their best. A beard conditioner is just one of the basics, and perhaps one of the most important steps in growing and maintaining a soft set of whiskers.\r\nJust like the hair on your head, your beard can greatly benefit from a conditioning routine. Conditioners incorporate vitamins and moisturizers to soften hair and keep it manageable. And a good beard conditioner can help keep your beard from looking wiry, and offer some moisture to keep it healthy and smooth.\r\nRELATED: Best Beard Oils\r\n“When it comes to having a beard, it is critical that you keep your skin moisturized as well as your beard hairs,” Spencer Bryce, co-founder of Live Bearded, explains. “As you grow a beard, it’s pulling the oils away from your skin, it’s gonna leave everything dry and irritated,” he says. To remedy that, Bryce suggests using an all-natural beard wash (not bar soap or body wash), but since that step willstrip away the oils and clean your beard, you need to get that moisture back in. “That’s where a beard conditioner really steps in.”\r\n\r\nHow to Use a Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\nThe beard care product market has grown over the last few years, but don’t let all the available products confuse you. Conditioners are different from beard oils or beard balms.\r\nConditioners should be used in the shower after washing your beard, just as you condition your hair after a shampoo. They’re to be used every time you shower, to add moisture back into the beard that’s been stripped by soaps or beard wash.\r\nBeard oils, on the other hand, should not be used to replace conditioner, but rather are a great way to spruce up your beard before heading out. They’ll add even more moisture and a nice glossy finish (but don’t overdo it).\r\n\r\nWhat to Look for in a Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\nThe most important aspect of any beard conditioner is hydration. Natural emollients, like coconut oil, shea butter, and aloe vera are always great to see in the ingredients list on your beard conditioner.\r\nIt’s also advised to look into organic products and conditioners that are as natural as possible. Not only are naturally-sourced ingredients healthier for you, they’re better for the environment, too.\r\nLast but not least, scent is a huge factor when it comes to choosing your beard products. Think subtle, and not overpowering. You’ll want the scent to be a good match for you, and also for those who get close to you.\r\nBelow, we recommend 10 stellar beard conditioners, based on the type of beard you have. The best part? They’re all available online, so you’ll see them at your doorstep in a matter of days with just the click of a button.\r\nScotch & Porter Restorative Leave-In Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\n\r\nThis one’s a favorite in the beard world. Long-lasting moisture will help to strengthen hair follicles while Biotin Liposomes promote healthy hair growth. You’ll love the masculine scent with notes of sandalwood, warm oakmoss, spice, and vanilla. It’s most effective when you work in a dollop of this product after washing, paying special attention to the ends of your beard, and leave the product in for 2 to 5 minutes before rinsing.\r\n$11.97 at Amazon.com\r\nBluebeards Original Wonder Beard Intensive Repair\r\n\r\n\r\nDrier, frizzier beards will benefit from this thick, nourishing treatment. It’s not a daily use product; it works best when used a couple times a week. Instead of rinsing this product out immediately, leave Wonder Beard on for three minutes to let it work its magic, then rinse. You’ll love how smooth your beard becomes.\r\n$20 at Amazon.com\r\nViking Revolution Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\n\r\nThis beard conditioner is formulated to address itching, flaking and irritation that often comes with beard growth. Just add water, lather and massage into your beard to see your healthiest beard yet. This product is made with Viking Revolution’s top beard oil to ensure deep moisturization.\r\n$20.88 at Amazon.com\r\nLive Bearded Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\nThis all-natural beard conditioner is scientifically formulated to improve beard health, stimulate growth, eliminate split ends all while softening and strengthening your facial hair. With growth-enhancing ingredients like biotin, keratin, caffeine and vitamin E, as well as restorative ingredients like coconut oil, argan oil, hemp seed oil and aloe vera, you’re bound to see a change when you start using Live Bearded Beard Conditioner. Plus, there are six scents to choose from, each as different as the next.\r\n$20 at LiveBearded.com\r\nHonest Amish Beard Balm Leave-in Conditioner\r\n\r\nThis leave-in conditioner will give your beard an extra boost of moisture, as you won’t be rinsing it out. This product is made with all-natural ingredients, such as shea and cocoa butter, as well as argan, avocado, almond, and apricot kernel essential oils for a nourishing experience. A little will go a long way to tame and soften the follicles and add a nice shine.\r\n$11.43 at Amazon.com\r\nZeus Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\nAs we mentioned earlier, scent is important when you’re selecting your beard conditioner. But some may need a little more help in this department than others, especially if you’re a smoker, a chef, or someone with a lifestyle or occupation that forces you to spend time around intense aromas of any kind. This conditioner uses natural oils, like jojoba seed and avocado to soften, and has a vibrant scent with aromatherapy notes of verbena and lime (which also are purported to help alleviate stress and anxiety).\r\n$18.95 at Amazon.com\r\nPolished Gentleman Beard Growth and Thickening Conditioner\r\n\r\n\r\nThis product touts that it will help to stimulate a thicker, fuller beard, for those looking to grow their beard longer and stronger. Made with organic ingredients such as manuka honey, eucalyptus, argan oil, tea tree oil and rosemary, as well as biotin to promote growth, you’ll have an effortlessly full, soft beard as a result. Just use a silver dollar-sized amount, massage into the beard and rinse after a minute has passed.\r\n$20.23 at Amazon.com\r\nBeardbrand Beard Softener\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you can’t run your fingers or a comb easily through your beard, we’ve got news for you: you’ve got tangles. Tangles can lead to split ends, breakage and a dry, frizzy beard. Following up your wash routine with this conditioner, made with coconut oil, shea butter and aloe vera, will help add moisture back to your beard so you’ll be able to comb it again. There are six scents available: Old Money, Temple Smoke, Four Voices, Tree Ranger, Spiced Citrus, and Tea Tree.\r\n$39 at Beardbrand.com\r\nArt of Shaving Beard Conditioner\r\n\r\n\r\nThis one is a little different, with its peppermint scent, but users love that about it. This product works on all beard types to leave hair soft, smooth, and nourished. You can choose to use and rinse, or leave in for 3 to 5 minutes for a deeper conditioning.\r\n$20 at Amazon.com\r\nEvery Man Jack Beard + Hair Conditioner\r\n\r\nCan’t wrap your head around having separate products for your beard and your hair? That’s OK, Every Man Jack has you covered with this conditioner that’s suited for both beard and hair use. It’s free of parabens, phthalates and dyes, and it’s certified cruelty-free. Cocoa butter is included in its ingredients, which naturally softens hair to the touch.\r\n$37 on Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Facial Hair Styles for Men\r\n\tHow to Grow and Maintain Your Beard\r\n\tBest Beard Trimmers", "keywords": "Best, Beard, Conditioners", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "111", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/best-beard-conditioners/askmen-lead-image-template-1723745231.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/best-beard-conditioners.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-15 15:07:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58557", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: My Mental Health Is Deteriorating Because Of Lack Of S3x", "title_slug": "true-life-story-my-mental-health-is-deteriorating-because-of-lack-of-s3x", "title_hash": "b6b1484e0ce0f8705dbd20c2ae0489e6", "summary": "True Life Story: My Mental Health Is Deteriorating Because Of Lack Of S3x Hi Lively Stones, Please can you recommend a good s3x therapist for me and my husband please? Yes, we are having s3x problems in our marriage and I am very frustrated at the moment. I got married at age 25. My husband […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: My Mental Health Is Deteriorating Because Of Lack Of S3x

Hi Lively Stones,

Please can you recommend a good s3x therapist for me and my husband please? Yes, we are having s3x problems in our marriage and I am very frustrated at the moment. I got married at age 25. My husband was my first and taught me all I know about s3x at that early stage. At the time, I can say, my husband’s libido was way higher than mine. It was such that I had all my 3 children under 3 years. People used to say that he is an odogwu who knows how to shoot sharp bullets.

Our marriage has been relatively peaceful and happy until five years ago. We have been married for almost 13 years and I was thinking that as we grow older, the s3x will be sweeter especially because our children have grown bigger and I am no longer as occupied with them unlike when they were young children. But around five years ago, I noticed my husband’s s3x drive started declining.

At first, I thought it was just my thinking but a man that used to go at least two rounds of s3x could not longer even do up to five minutes of s3x. My orgasm became none existent. I started seeking ways to help our s3x drive. I made all kinds of aphrodisiacs with herbs that I read online. I made all kinds of things with ginger, garlic, tiger nuts, cloves and avocado,etc. He improved from like 5mins to 10mins only.

Then I thought it was maybe stress and age. My husband is like six years older than me. But I also began to notice he was taking vitamins for stress so why all these. I tried to ignore it but the fact was, I was not getting sexually satisfied. It was really really frustrating. We talked about it and he always promised to try his best. But in like six months, I only managed to get one orgasm in s3x that lasted between 8-10mins.

And that is how I landed myself in p#rn. I started using that to masturbate and pleasure myself. That gave me like a little satisfaction from the lack of proper s3x from my husband for almost two years. My problem now is that, I have done it so much that masturbation no longer satisfies me. P#rn no longer excites me. I yearn for the real thing. I am really frustrated and this is a cry for help.

That is why I need a s3x therapist…do you think that will help? My husband does not want to see a therapist cos I am sure this is embarrassing for him as a man. But what he does not know is that this problem is affecting my mental health. I am unable to function properly at many things cos I am always angry or depressed at the same time. I don’t know if other women feel the way I do but the lack of proper s3x makes me angry and cry so many times and this is affecting my productivity and happiness at the same time.

I snap at my husband, my children, my workers…..I can become very isolated and short fused. Now, when I look at other men, especially younger men, I start lusting after them. I am not crazy…It’s just passion and desire to feel whole as a woman I crave. For our wedding anniversary last month, I booked a romantic weekend for me and my husband in a five star hotel: I was ready to have some real fun.

Can you believe, the s3x was only one time and it did not even reach the normal five minutes. I got so angry that I threw the remote at my hubby. I attacked him and begged him to use his fingers to f#ck me…I just wanted to feel something…he tried but it was not working….I pushed him away and told him I will go out and find someone to f#ck me instead.

My husband was shocked and said what is wrong with me, that I am acting like an addict. I told him he was acting like I am not attractive to him anymore….I confronted him to know if there was another woman cos that was another fear I was nursing. My husband broke down and said, nothing is wrong and swore on our children’s lives that he is not cheating.

That was when I suggested a s3x therapist and he said he can’t embarrass himself like that. So, my husband said he has given me a pass, to have s3x with any man to fulfil my desires but on two conditions: that I must never do it without protection (condom) and secondly, no one must find out. My mouth was open in shock cos I never expected such to come from my husband.

More From Lively Stones

Clearly he sounds like wants to make me happy but this is too much. He asked me if he was the one feeling how I was feeling….will I allow him sleep with other men? Now, I am feeling guilty for pressuring him but that still does not help our s3x life. How do I convince my husband that going to therapy is what we need? Men, I know this is tough but is it not better than allowing your wife to f#ck other men? And the thing is, I don’t think I can live with myself if I sleep with another man. Permission or not.

Now, my husband is even testing me with this suggestion…and this makes me even angrier. My problem is still not solved. We are both young….is this how our s3x life will become none existent for the next 50 years? Even the five minutes s3x which is once in a month is not even exciting….its always missionary or doggy…I desire to have fun…I beg him to be a bit harder…more masculine…I think this man is tired of me…cos now, the more I complain…the more he locks up…

I need help…I need advise…what can I do? I need my husband to be the man of my dreams again.

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Mental, Health, Deteriorating, Because, Lack, S3x", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/lack-of-sex.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-my-mental-health-is-deteriorating-because-of-lack-of-s3x/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 03:05:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58431", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Learning to Pick Up Girls: Short- & Long-Term Aims", "title_slug": "learning-to-pick-up-girls-short-long-term-aims", "title_hash": "eab2691493dec7daa67014070f5c495f", "summary": "Learning to pick up and seduce girls takes time. You will sometimes need to choose: whether to take easy results now OR focus on making major progress.\n\nContents\nI. Expectations and Impatience\n\n\nLearning Seduction Is Not Linear\n\n\nA Caveat\n\n\nII. Focusing On One Factor\n\n\nWhat About Luck?\n\n\nThe Night or the Journey?\n\n\nIII. Conclusion\n\nHey guys. I hope you are all doing well.\nLet’s discuss a phenomenon I regularly encounter with students and see on forums: the lack of patience when learning to pick up girls.\nSome guys join this community to get a few quick fixes: they want to find out how to deal with a particular situation. For example, “So, there is this girl in X setting. What do I do?” Others join to improve, learn a few tricks, and move on. Then there is the last group, which consists of most forum members and active readers. These guys are in it for the art. They strive to get as good as possible, reach mastery, and make seduction a primary hobby.\nThe Girls Chase staff of writers, vi", "content": "

$\"the$ Learning to pick up and seduce girls takes time. You will sometimes need to choose: whether to take easy results now OR focus on making major progress.

Contents

\n
Learning Seduction Is Not Linear
\n
\n
A Caveat
\n

II. Focusing On One Factor

\n
What About Luck?
\n
\n
The Night or the Journey?
\n

III. Conclusion

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing well.

Let’s discuss a phenomenon I regularly encounter with students and see on forums: the lack of patience when learning to pick up girls.

Some guys join this community to get a few quick fixes: they want to find out how to deal with a particular situation. For example, “So, there is this girl in X setting. What do I do?” Others join to improve, learn a few tricks, and move on. Then there is the last group, which consists of most forum members and active readers. These guys are in it for the art. They strive to get as good as possible, reach mastery, and make seduction a primary hobby.

The Girls Chase staff of writers, video creators, and coaches was once part of that group. Despite reaching mastery, most are still fascinated by this process and want to learn more to develop their skills further. As I always say, I will forever be a student of seduction.

This post is for those in this category: you find seduction exciting and want to perfect your game. You choose to focus on your skills and aim to be a master. You want to become a modern Casanova.

This post is also for those who want to improve, although it may resonate more with the former category.

So, today, I will discuss mental roadblocks and provide solutions to ease frustrations and biases you may encounter in the field.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Learning, Pick, Girls:, Short-, Long-Term, Aims", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/learning-to-pick-up-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/learning-pick-girls-short-long-term-aims", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58430", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Have Smoother Opening Conversations with 'Singular Flow'", "title_slug": "have-smoother-opening-conversations-with-singular-flow", "title_hash": "87f237f5d449a7e632c43ecba2e48bbe", "summary": "‘Jumping around’ in conversation after opening is a common problem for men chatting up new women. The simple way to avoid this mistake? Singular flow.\nThis post by Richard originally appeared on our forum here.\n\nHey gentleman, I've kept a journal of my daily pickups, though they've slimmed recently because I'm getting more involved with a single girl rather than many. Anyway, I was reviewing my journal, and I noticed my success increase when I started to implement something I personally call SINGULAR FLOW.\nI define this as: Following up an opening with a question that directly relates to the opening, environment, or reaction by the girl.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"TEXT\"$ ‘Jumping around’ in conversation after opening is a common problem for men chatting up new women. The simple way to avoid this mistake? Singular flow.

This post by Richard originally appeared on our forum here.

Hey gentleman, I've kept a journal of my daily pickups, though they've slimmed recently because I'm getting more involved with a single girl rather than many. Anyway, I was reviewing my journal, and I noticed my success increase when I started to implement something I personally call SINGULAR FLOW.

I define this as: Following up an opening with a question that directly relates to the opening, environment, or reaction by the girl.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Have, Smoother, Opening, Conversations, with, Singular, Flow", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/conversation-singular-flow-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/have-smoother-opening-conversations-singular-flow", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58429", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Expert Says If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Say ‘I Love You’ by This Time, It Probably Won’t Work", "title_slug": "expert-says-if-your-boyfriend-doesnt-say-i-love-you-by-this-time-it-probably-wont-work", "title_hash": "07ab6a45fa136bd566a446a213eaa379", "summary": "A self-proclaimed “no-nonsense” dating expert claims that if a man doesn’t say “I love you” within three months,…", "content": "A self-proclaimed “no-nonsense” dating expert claims that if a man doesn’t say “I love you” within three months,…", "keywords": "Expert, Says, Your, Boyfriend, Doesn’t, Say, ‘I, Love, You’, This, Time, Probably, Won’t, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "96", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/ia.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/expert-says-if-your-boyfriend-doesnt-say-i-love-you-by-this-time-it-probably-wont-work/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58428", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Men Prefer Hanging Out with Friends Over Spending Time at Home with Their Wife", "title_slug": "why-men-prefer-hanging-out-with-friends-over-spending-time-at-home-with-their-wife", "title_hash": "cfe5aca538ddbf30c03acc066525ca25", "summary": "Why do some men seem to prefer hanging out with friends rather than staying home? It’s a question…", "content": "Why do some men seem to prefer hanging out with friends rather than staying home? It’s a question…", "keywords": "Why, Men, Prefer, Hanging, Out, with, Friends, Over, Spending, Time, Home, with, Their, Wife", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/234.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/why-men-prefer-hanging-out-with-friends-over-spending-time-at-home-with-their-wife/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58427", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Mouthwash You Can Buy", "title_slug": "the-best-mouthwash-you-can-buy", "title_hash": "5335f80c4d10a774b7e7aa5074caf053", "summary": "Bruh, your mouth is gross! What? No diss intended. Just that research and science says otherwise. It's well known that our chat boxes remain the dirtiest part of the body. In fact, the scientists at Hard School of Dental discovered “over 615 different species of bacteria” living in the mouth, tongue, and throat. See?\r\nMuch of the market’s elite oral hygiene products help mask most oral health care problems from halitosis to plaque buildup. However, none have proven to be potent or powerful enough to rid your make-out instrument of such toxicities. Simply put, a mouthwash is what’s missing from your daily grooming routine.\r\nThis mouth-cleansing solution is the perfect complimentary piece for brushing and flossing. The benefits of swigging some only favor your wellbeing. Besides owning kissable breath, a man that lives religiously by mouthwash can reduce cavities, canker sores, gum disease, and even aid his spouse’s pregnancy by decreasing her risks of periodontal disease – a condition t", "content": "Bruh, your mouth is gross! What? No diss intended. Just that research and science says otherwise. It's well known that our chat boxes remain the dirtiest part of the body. In fact, the scientists at Hard School of Dental discovered “over 615 different species of bacteria” living in the mouth, tongue, and throat. See?\r\nMuch of the market’s elite oral hygiene products help mask most oral health care problems from halitosis to plaque buildup. However, none have proven to be potent or powerful enough to rid your make-out instrument of such toxicities. Simply put, a mouthwash is what’s missing from your daily grooming routine.\r\nThis mouth-cleansing solution is the perfect complimentary piece for brushing and flossing. The benefits of swigging some only favor your wellbeing. Besides owning kissable breath, a man that lives religiously by mouthwash can reduce cavities, canker sores, gum disease, and even aid his spouse’s pregnancy by decreasing her risks of periodontal disease – a condition that can affect a woman’s bloodstream and result in preterm, low-weight babies. That’s one way of playing her hero. \r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Toothpastes\r\nGuys tend to share this presumption of all mouthwashes performing the same duties. There’s half truth to that statement. Each one does carry sterilization traits that freshen up the mouth. But each one is made for specific use. Read the labels, gentlemen. Let us show you how to pick the right mouthwash for your antibacterial needs.\r\n\r\n\r\nTypes of Mouthwashes\r\n\r\n\r\nPretty easy to assume all mouthwashes are the same. True, they’re all designed to rid the mouth of germs. They also get rid of the dragon in the dungeon by leaving behind a minty aftertaste. Still, depending on the severity of your oral condition(s), a special type might need to be stocked in your bathroom. These are the most common options available.\r\n\r\n\tAntiseptic: Normally features chlorhexidine gluconate and most effective for stopping bacteria growth and bad breath\r\n\tCosmetic: The least protective of the batch that's primarily used to disguise halitosis\r\n\tFluoride: Contains sodium fluoride to strengthen teeth and protect against decay\r\n\tMagic/Therapeutic: Prescribed by dentists to treat oral infections or inflamed mouth tissues\r\n\tNatural: Alcohol-free alternatives that perform like conventional mouthwashes\r\n\tTotal care: Hosts antibacterial ingredients for plaque and gum disease prevention\r\n\r\nThis helps narrow things down. Ingredients always play a vital role in the effects of oral conditioning. Rather than bore you to death with a massive list of the dos and don'ts, just keep your eyes peeled for the following additives: Alcohol (when ridiculously high in content), chlorine dioxide, chlorhexidinen, cocamidopropyl betaine, parabens, poloxamer 407, formaldehyde, and saccharin. Deal? Deal!\r\nBy now you’ve more than likely settled on a type. So let’s bring you back to the fundamentals on how to use a mouthwash.\r\nAesop Mouthwash\r\n\r\nPleasant flavors combined with its use of impeccable antioxidants and botanical ingredients makes the Australian skincare brand’s rinse a signature staple for any oral hygiene enthusiast. The Aesop Mouthwash stands out most for its oral malodour relief, giving your mouth irresistible freshness, while leaving the zest of aniseed, clove bud, and spearmint lingering on your taste buds. Its alcohol-free formula is also great for hypersensitivity and helps to keep the mouth hydrated, never disturbing saliva production or natural pH levels. And of course there's the sexy apothecary-style vessel that complements the mouthwash’s stellar performance.\r\n$40 at Amazon.com\r\nMOON Platinum Mouth Rinse\r\n\r\nDo you have sensitive teeth or gums but still want a way to combat halitosis? The MOON Mouth Rinse ditches both alcohol and fluoride, instead relying on a compound of hydrogen peroxide, xylitol, hyaluronic acid and, of course, mint, to leave your mouth feeling and smelling refreshed. As an added bonus, the hydrogen peroxide helps to whiten teeth as well, leaving you with a brighter smile on top of better breath. \r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nListerine Cool Mint \r\n\r\nEstablishing brand recognition in the oral health sector nearly requires universal praise from consumers to dental professionals. Listerine’s earned it through its lineup of industry leading mouthwashes. Gingivitis and plaque become mere afterthoughts, as the antimicrobial antiseptic delivers a cooling rush to the mouth that instantly freshens breath and kills germs on contact through a powerful formula of four essential oils. No more than 30 seconds of swishing (twice a day) can earn you 24-hour protection from bacteria, or so clinical trials endorse. Nonetheless, you’re warranted a bacteria-free mouth for most of the day at an unbeatable value.\r\n$9.37 at Amazon.com\r\nBanyan Botanicals Daily Swish Mouthwash\r\n\r\nAnother all-natural mouth wash, the Daily Swish from Banyan Botanicals relies on coconut oil, triphala, and fennel to fight bad breath with a once-a-day application. It's called a \"swish\" because you're meant to gargle 2-3 teaspoons of their formula before spitting it out, leaving your mouth with the pleasant aftertaste of cinnamon and other organic herbs.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAuromere Ayurvedic Mouthwash\r\n\r\nWhat rinse you know integrates neem, the Indian superpower plant, into its formula? Just this one. Auromere chose to include this dynamic ingredient for its phenomenal antimicrobial and antifungal properties, which studies have shown to be just as powerful for oral health as chlorhexidine, only far less dangerous. Even crazier is how the rinse comes richly loaded with 23 botanical extracts and 9 essential oils, allowing its astringent, cleansing qualities to ensure your trap of all-natural purification. The minty taste it leaves behind isn’t so bad either.\r\n$15.09 at Amazon.com\r\nHello Peace Out Plaque Mouthwash\r\n\r\nAvailable in both Natural Mint and Charcoal versions, the Peace Out mouthwash from Hello Peace represents a superb value, offering an alcohol-, vegan- and fluoride-free way to combat halitosis. Active ingredients in this Natural Mint variety include aloe vera, coconut oil, and of course natural mint, with xylitol to sweeten the flavor on the tongue. \r\n$17.97 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\nCrest 3D White Luxe Whitening Mouthwash\r\n\r\nIf its teeth-whitening strips are any indication, then Crest’s luxury mouthwash is a sure-shot for pearly whites. Speaking from personal experience, that’s an understatement. The oral hygiene titan created a triple-action formula made to freshen breath, prevent surface stains, and whiten your fangs simultaneously. It operates differently than all other mouthwashes, proving to be more effective after whitening procedures: professional or at-home. This is all impart to Crest’s patented Whitelock Technology that acts as a whitening protector to produce longer lasting results. Exercising the proper tooth-brushing routine will enhance its effects.\r\n$8 at Amazon.com\r\nBiotene Oral Rinse\r\n\r\nAging. Autoimmune diseases. Smoking. Stress. Many causes bring about xerostomia aka dry mouth. Biotene is considered the No.1 mouthwash for this condition, employing what’s known as an LP3 salivary enzyme-protein system to create a moisturizing effect and restore pH balance inside the mouth. It’s also strong enough to sustain funky stenches, gum soreness, and tooth decay. The solution comes packaged in a large bottle to last for months and comes at an inexpensive price tag, which is surprising for a rinse viewed as an oral-cleansing breakthrough by dentists across the nation.\r\n$14.09 at Amazon.com\r\nACT Restoring Mouthwash\r\n\r\nKids might be more prone to cavities, but they’re just as common amongst adults, primarily around the edges of their fillings. This fluoride-infused oral rinse is formulated to reduce dental caries up to 70% more than a fluoride toothpaste, strengthening enamel and removing stains. The Cool Mint or Spearmint sensation of the solution won’t only tame any bad odors seeping through those chompers, but soothe sore gums as well. Granted it contains alcohol, it’s nowhere near as harmful on the mouth as others with higher concentrates.\r\n$14 at Amazon.com\r\nTom's of Maine Sea Salt Mouthwash\r\n\r\nTom's of Maine is now world-famous for their commitment to natural ingredients and sustainable manufacturing processes, but we wouldn't recommend their mouthwash if it didn't work extremely well, too. Their sea salt-based formula, fortified with zinc citrate, menthol, sorbitol and aloe, does a fantastic job purifying your entire mouth and killing the bacteria that cause bad breath, while also leaving your mouth feeling refreshed rather than ravaged, with a pleasant mint aftertaste we absolutely love.\r\n$20.97 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Right Way to Use Mouthwash\r\n\r\n\r\nWait. It’s not just a gargle and spit procedure? Not really, fellas. So like the whitening toothpaste laying on your sink countertop, we can honestly assume you’re using mouthwash the wrong way too. There’s a system to adopt to get the best out of the oral disinfectant. First, one must know when it’s necessary for use. The American Dental Association states that it doesn’t matter whether applied before or after brushing. Nice!\r\nNext is pouring the proper dosage. Dentists recommend 20 ml for most mouthwashes, 10 ml for stronger options with fluoride as the primary ingredient. Feel free to use the cap, which tends to double as a serving cup. Pour into the mouth and swish for about 30 seconds to a minute. If it burns, deal with it. Just let the essential oils and all other magical elements go to work. Spit out the remains. Don’t rinse your mouth out with water, for all this will do is reduce its preventative effects. \r\nNow comes time to put you onto the MVPs of the product category. So open up that yap and breakdown the top mouthwashes and their best uses.\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Fight Bad BreathBest Teeth Whitening ProductsBest Charcoal Face Masks for Men", "keywords": "The, Best, Mouthwash, You, Can, Buy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/the-best-mouthwash-you-can-buy/askmen-lead-image-template-1723215676.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/the-best-mouthwash-you-can-buy.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58426", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Much Should You Spend On a First Date?", "title_slug": "how-much-should-you-spend-on-a-first-date", "title_hash": "973272cf18ed8f2ce701dbffe8e9360e", "summary": "An Exploration of the Eternal Question of How Much to Spend on a First Date", "content": "What’s the relationship between how much you spend and how well the date goes? \r\nAt first glance, frankly, there isn’t one. You can spend $10 on coffee and a walk and have an amazing date that leaves you eager for a second one. You can spend $100 at a fancy cocktail bar and decide you never want to see the person again at the end of it. \r\nThere’s an element of randomness to issue. Some people might take note of the effort and budget that go into a first date. Others may insist on going Dutch. Some men appreciate when a woman offers to split the bill, but still insist on picking up the tab. \r\nSome guys spend more to impress their date, others stick to a cheap date on purpose, because they don’t want to get taken advantage of before getting to know someone. Some people have plenty of discretionary income to spend; others are on a strict budget. \r\nWith all this in mind, you may be wondering how much to spend on a first date. The truth is, there are no black-and-white rules these days. Gender norms are shifting. People are feeling the effects of the economic climate and the high cost of living. \r\nOnline dating has also disrupted the way singles meet and form relationships — first dates are often quick and casual to test the waters of compatibility without committing to a full evening out. \r\nBut just because dating etiquette has evolved doesn’t mean that you can’t set your own \r\nbenchmarks for approaching first dates. \r\nRELATED: How to Handle the Check on a First Date Without Making It Awkward \r\nConsidering the maximum amount you’d be willing to spend in advance can help you plan a great date while avoiding situations such as blowing your budget to impress someone or regretting how much you spent. The following insights will help you make choices that will benefit both your wallet and love life. \r\n\r\nHow Much Do Men Spend on First Dates? \r\n\r\nWhen navigating the sometimes murky waters of the dating world, it can be helpful to understand how other people do things. Research conducted by OnePoll in partnership with LELO looked at the cost of dating. The results were insightful. \r\nAccording to to the study, the average person had gone on eight dates in the past six months, costing $189 each. Interestingly, men said that good dates cost about $220, while women believed that good dates cost about $170. (Keep in mind that the survey findings don’t specify whether those dates were first dates or not.)\r\nOn the r/askmen subreddit (not affiliated with AskMen the publication) the answers to a thread titled “How much do you pay on the first date?” tended to range from less than $20 to not more than $100, with the exception of a couple higher spenders. \r\nSeveral men commented that they prefer to keep the first date cheap and spend more on the second one. And a few people said they avoid dinner when meeting for the first time. \r\n\r\nWill Spending More Make a Good First Impression? \r\n\r\nIf you’re an average guy, you probably care about making a good first impression. You don’t want to appear cheap, but you may not want to plan something over-the-top and look showy. \r\nBarbie Adler, founder and president of matchmaking firm Selective Search, says that you can be open about these matters instead of relying on unspoken assumptions. Suppose that you’re into women and that there’s one you are really hoping to impress. But you’re not sure where she stands on the matter. Well, it may sound surprising, but you can just ask. \r\n“Or better yet, make an offer and see how she responds. If you want to pay for a meal, for example, then politely offer to do so before the bill arrives or even before the date,” suggests Adler. “This demonstrates your interest while also showing your date that you are taking her feelings and boundaries into consideration.” \r\nYou can even use the first date as an opportunity to learn more about a romantic prospect. Ask questions. Are they new to the area? Do they appreciate good food? Also, consider whether there is an activity or place you’d like to share, as it’s an opportunity to give your date a glimpse into who you are. The whole point is getting to know each other, after all. \r\nRELATED: Fun Date Ideas to Try After the First One \r\n\r\nWhy First Dates Don’t Have to Cost a Ton\r\n\r\n“First dates don’t have to break the bank,” adds Chris Pleines, dating expert at DatingScout, who suggests choosing a venue that fosters good conversation and feels authentic while also considering your date’s preferences. \r\nRELATED: 9 First-Date Conversation Tips That Actually Work \r\nWhile some women may associate an expensive date with a man putting in more effort, there are plenty who wouldn’t judge you for taking a more budget-friendly route. Half of Americans in the OnePoll/LELO survey mentioned above even believe it’s OK to take someone on a free date — 47% of respondents said they wouldn’t judge their date for doing so.\r\nWhen you take the initiative to plan a date and pay for it, thoughtfulness and effort go a long way. You don’t need to spend a fortune to plan something special. \r\n“Two things come to mind when I see the phrase ‘cheap date’: the first is a meal at a greasy restaurant or fast-food place, and the second is a coffee date in a nice local park. Both of these dates are technically cheap, but the first one feels cheap,” says Adler. \r\nRELATED: First Date Mistakes to Avoid \r\n\r\nThe Pros and Cons of Cheap vs. Expensive Dates\r\n\r\nStill unsure about how much to spend on a first date? There are pros and cons to both budget-conscious dates and expensive ones. \r\nThe coffee-and-a-walk vs. fast-food-dinner dichotomy that Adler mentioned can be a tricky distinction to navigate, and it won’t be the case for everyone. \r\nRELATED: Map Shows The Average Cost of a Date in Every U.S. State \t\r\nBut essentially, the principle at work is: if the date feels romantic, special or beautiful, it doesn’t need to be expensive. Whereas, even if the date is expensive, if it feels boring or unpleasant, it won’t make you look good. \r\nHowever, it’s true that spending more on a date can create a memorable experience and add excitement by providing an environment where you and your date can enjoy something out of the ordinary, says Pleines. It can also make your date feel special. \r\n“However, it can set high expectations for future dates and put pressure on maintaining that level of spending, potentially overshadowing genuine connection,” adds Pleines. Plus, if the date doesn’t go well, you’ll be out of a good chunk of money. \r\nRELATED: Things Women Expect From Men on First Dates \r\nAs for cheap dates, they can provide a more relaxed and authentic atmosphere while putting the emphasis on exploring your connection. \r\n“But if not done thoughtfully, it might come across as lacking effort or interest, raising concerns about genuine investment in the experience,” notes Pleines. \r\nWhatever you end up doing, don’t spend beyond your means. When in doubt, keep things simple but thoughtful – and don’t be shy to ask your date about their preferences. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nMen Still Pay for the First Date, Says Study\t13 First Date Hacks Will Change Your Game Immediately How to Follow Up After a First Date", "keywords": "How, Much, Should, You, Spend, First, Date", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-much-should-you-spend-on-a-first-date/askmen-lead-image-template-4-1723215290.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/how-much-should-you-spend-on-a-first-date.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58424", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Handle Not Being Able to Have Kids of Your Own", "title_slug": "how-to-handle-not-being-able-to-have-kids-of-your-own", "title_hash": "5fb95368f5f318ba2eaf1ab631d00a54", "summary": "Dealing with Infertility? Here’s How to Maintain a Strong, Healthy Relationship", "content": "There are lots of hurdles couples may face together over the course of their relationship — moving to a new state, losing a job or a loved one, and even health crises, for example — but one of the most challenging is infertility. \r\nAccording to Dr. Christine DeVore, Psy.D, a licensed therapist specializing in relationship issues, both partners can experience quite the emotional rollercoaster while struggling to start a family — from sadness and anger to shame and frustration.\r\n“For those assigned male at birth, fertility may be intertwined with their identity or perceptions of masculinity, exacerbating these feelings,” she explains. “The roles within a relationship can change dramatically, too. One partner might feel physically or emotionally drained, while the other might feel helpless or inadequate. And these shifts can create tension and distance.”\r\nRELATED: How to Help a Partner Through a Difficult Time \r\nAs infertility puts a strain on the relationship, DeVore says communication can often suffer. If both partners aren’t able to express their feelings and needs openly, misunderstandings and resentment may start to mount.\r\n“Not only that,” says DeVore, “But the pressure to conceive can overshadow the pleasure and connection that sex once brought. And the costs associated with fertility treatments, such as IVF, can be substantial, leading to added stress and tension between partners.”\r\nAs with any obstacle, though, the way you deal with it can mean the difference of weakening your bond or making your relationship stronger. \r\nHere’s what to keep in mind as you navigate this chapter with your partner.\r\nRELATED: Mental Health Impact of Infertility\r\n\r\nDos and Don’ts for Dealing With Infertility\r\n\r\nDon’t: Try to Go It Alone\r\nAcross the board, experts strongly recommend reaching out for support.\r\n“Although infertility is relatively common, it can feel extremely isolating, as many people keep their struggles private,” says Lea Trujillo, a licensed therapist and fertility emotional wellness coach. “It’s hard to see friends or family move on to a different phase of life while you're still waiting.”The key here is to open up to the right people. Trujillo notes that some people may not be able to listen with empathy, or may simply not fully understand the complexity of infertility and say all the wrong things, like \"You just need to relax\" or make jokes like, \"Hey — you can have my kids.”\r\n“Connecting with others who are in the same situation can normalize your experience, help you feel less alone, and reduce stress,” explains Trujillo.\r\nRachel Goldberg, LMFT, a licensed therapist who specializes in infertility, suggests finding a support group for people struggling with infertility, and/or a therapist who specializes in infertility. You can find support groups near you at Resolve.org.\r\n“Support groups bring together people with different backgrounds, doctors, and treatment methods, offering valuable insights and information you might not have encountered otherwise,” adds Trujillo. “These groups provide a forum for comparing stories, learning about care providers and fertility clinics, and discovering questions you may not have thought to ask your doctor.”\r\nAccording to Guarnotta, individual therapy can help you develop coping skills to manage your emotions, while couples therapy can also be helpful if you're having communication breakdowns.\r\nDo: Discuss Your Privacy Policy\r\nBefore you post anything about your infertility issues on social media — Goldberg says you should check in with your partner to see how they feel about it.\r\n“Respect each other’s need for support, whether it's confiding in a trusted friend or family member,” she adds. “But don't share the journey unless it's agreed upon by both parties.”\r\nDon’t: Put the Blame (or Burden) on One Person\r\nIf there’s one thing experts want you to remember right now, it’s not to let the burden of infertility fall on one partner.\r\n“Remember, building a family is a team effort,” says Guarnotta. “Any way you can step up will help alleviate the stress and overwhelm of infertility for your partner while strengthening your relationship bond. Examples include going to appointments together, helping administer medication, or taking on extra household chores.”\r\nWhen diagnosed with infertility, Guarnotta says many people also tend to blame themselves and feel inadequate. \r\n“Keep in mind that infertility is a medical condition and should be treated as such,” she adds. “No one blames themselves or their partner for getting cancer. The same mindset should apply to infertility. Remember, you and your partner are doing the best you can with the circumstances you’ve been given, and it’s no one’s fault.”\r\nDo: Research the Issue\r\nTrujillo says taking some time to learn more about infertility and your options can go a long way in empowering you and your partner.\r\nRELATED: Infertility Warning Signs for Men\r\n“Being informed can help you feel more prepared and in control, thereby reducing stress and potentially leading to better pregnancy outcomes,” she says. \r\n“Entering the world of infertility involves learning new terminology, treatment approaches, medications, and types of tests,” Trujillo adds. “Having a good understanding of what to expect will enable you to have meaningful conversations with your doctors and develop a plan you and your family feel comfortable with. Plus, your partner will appreciate your investment in the process.”\r\nDr. Alice D. Domar, a health psychologist and Chief Compassion Officer at Inception Fertility, agrees that doing some research can go a long way — but cautions that you should make sure you’re using reliable sources.\r\n“The internet and social media are unfortunately filled with misinformation and people who prey on the vulnerable,” she explains. “ASRM.org and ACOG.org are reliable and science-driven resources.”\r\nDon’t: Make Assumptions About What Your Partner Needs\r\nMen and women often process the grief of infertility differently, says Guarnotta. \r\nAccording to Goldberg, men often cope by internalizing their feelings or adopting a more solution-focused approach, whereas women tend to be more emotion-driven and interested in talking about it often.\r\n“These differing coping styles can lead to misunderstandings and resentment, with women feeling their partner doesn't care about building a family and men feeling unsure why women are so focused on it,” Guarnotta explains.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk to Women & Communicate Effectively\r\nAs a result, it’s a good idea to just ask your partner what they need from you rather than assuming their needs are the same as yours.\r\nHannah Gerber, who has been trying to get pregnant with her partner for almost five years, says it’s also more than OK to “coach” friends and family on what you need during this time.\r\n“The people in your life want to support you, but sometimes they don't know what to say so they end up trying to fix things or say things that feel insensitive (like ‘Everything happens for a reason’), she tells AskMen. “I've shared with friends that most of the time what I need from them is to hear something like, ‘This sucks,’ ‘This isn’t fair,’ ‘or ‘I’m always here to listen,’ rather than asking if we've tried XYZ. Not only has that made interactions with friends so much better, but I've also found that my community has been grateful for the feedback since it was so hard for them to know what to say.”\r\nRELATED: How to Use 'Solve Languages' to Improve Your Relationship \r\nDo: Schedule Regular Check-Ins\r\nGoldberg says open communication is key — in all phases of your relationship, but especially when dealing with fertility challenges. \r\nShe recommends scheduling a set time — anywhere from once daily to once a week — to talk without distractions for at least 20 minutes. You can use this time to discuss your fears, concerns, emotions, and even ideas for how to stay connected.\r\n“Give your partner space to share their frustrations, disappointments, and grief,” says Dr. Emily Guarnotta, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of the maternal mental health practice Phoenix Health. “This shows that you care, which helps reduce feelings of isolation.”\r\nDon’t: Be Too Hard on Yourself About It\r\n“When you're dealing with infertility, you may feel like there are triggers everywhere,” says Guarnotta. “Every time you see a diaper commercial, or get asked if you have kids, you can get flooded with emotion. As you're going through this, it's okay to say no to social gatherings or limit your time and conversations with people who don't make you feel good.”\r\nAs Guarnotta points out, infertility can be considered a form of loss, so it’s normal to feel like you’re going through a grieving period.\r\n“However, infertility is a form of disenfranchised grief, which is grief that is not formally recognized by society,” she adds. “When you're grieving this form of loss, you usually don't get time off of work, sympathetic words, or understanding from other people. While you might not be able to change that, you can choose to honor your own feelings without judgment.”\r\nBe patient and kind to yourself and your partner during this time, practicing self-care and encouraging them to do the same.\r\nDo: Make Space for Each Other’s Feelings\r\nYou and your partner may have very different emotional experiences during this chapter. It’s important to keep in mind that neither is “right” or “wrong” — and to validate each other’s feelings rather than dismissing them.\r\n“Dismissing emotions can create resentment and emotional distance,” says Goldberg. “Even if you don’t fully understand or relate to your partner’s feelings, showing empathy goes a long way.”\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability \r\nFor example, if your partner shares that they’re feeling anxious and sad about an upcoming baby shower you were both invited to, consider responding with something like – “I totally understand why that would make you feel that way,” or “I’m so sorry you’re dreading this event, but it makes sense.”\r\nDon’t: Let This Overtake Your Shared Intimacy\r\n“For couples trying on their own without yet resorting to assisted reproduction, sex often becomes all about baby-making and is based on timing, taking much, if not all, of the passion out,” says Goldberg. “It can feel forced.”\r\nTrujillo agrees that sex often shifts from merely a pleasurable, intimacy-boosting activity to a means to an end. As a result, instead of bringing you closer together, sex may have the opposite effect.\r\n“For couples having trouble getting pregnant, staying connected is vital,” says Goldberg.\r\nDeVore advises planning regular date nights that have nothing to do with fertility treatments to keep the romance alive.\r\nRELATED: What Is Maintenance Sex? Experts Say It Could Save Your Relationship \r\n“Also, plan short trips or celebrate milestones together to remind each other that the relationship is more than just the fertility journey,” adds Goldberg.\r\nDo: Redefine Your Future\r\n“Infertility can challenge your ideas of what a family looks like,” says DeVore. “Explore alternative paths to parenthood, such as adoption, surrogacy, or fostering.”\r\nAccording to DeVore, focusing on building a fulfilling life together — regardless of parenthood — can help alleviate some of the pressure.\r\n“Consider attending informational sessions on adoption or speaking with other couples who have built their families through alternative means,” she tells AskMen.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Boost Male Fertility With Health and NutritionHow Men Can Improve Their FertilityTrying to Conceive: Male Fertility Guide", "keywords": "How, Handle, Not, Being, Able, Have, Kids, Your, Own", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-handle-not-being-able-to-have-kids-of-your-own/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1723215007.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-handle-not-being-able-to-have-kids-of-your-own.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58425", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Understanding Body Language in Sex & Dating Contexts", "title_slug": "understanding-body-language-in-sex-dating-contexts", "title_hash": "ddf18a4a2e8391527bea70b384c3d18f", "summary": "She may not be a talker in the bedroom, but her body should tell you everything you need to know.", "content": "If you want to get better at reading people in a dating context, understanding some body language basics can be seriously useful. \r\nAnd this isn’t just about using pickup artist techniques to seduce people — rather, it can give you a clear understanding of when someone is responding positively or negatively to your presence, words, and actions. \r\nBeing able to easily tell the difference between a non-verbal response that says, ‘Yes, I like this, please continue’ and one that says, ‘Hey, I’m feeling seriously uncomfortable right now’ can save both you and the people you’re trying to date a lot of unnecessary negative experiences.\r\nRELATED: What Consent Does & Doesn’t Look Like\r\nSo, in order to better understand the basics when it comes to body language in sex and dating contexts, AskMen spoke to a handful of experts. Here’s what they had to say:\r\n\r\nRelationship Between Body Language & Emotions\r\n\r\nThere’s ample scientific evidence that how we feel emotionally can have impacts both positive and negative on our physical health; meanwhile, that same physical health can have obvious impacts on our emotions and psychological state.\r\nTake that a step further and you get the concept of body language: the idea that, when people feel certain ways, their bodies often react in predictable, observable ways that can give us useful clues as to their internal state — clues that can often be just as useful, if not more so, than interpreting what they’re saying out loud. \r\n“Body language and mood or internal state are deeply connected and each informs the other,” says Sabrina Bendory, dating and relationships expert for Dating.com. “When we are feeling good internally, it radiates outward. Our body language is open, receptive, and relaxed. Conversely, when we’re feeling stressed or anxious, we may be stiff, tight, and closed off.”\r\nDating coach Diane Brandon Moody says that studies suggest nonverbal aspects make up a significant part of how humans communicate. \r\n“Much of nonverbal communication is completely unconscious,” she adds. “If that communication is incongruent (meaning words and body language don’t match), you’ll be more likely to believe the nonverbal. You may not even know why you don’t believe the words coming out of that other person’s mouth.”\r\nRELATED: How to Tell If She Really Likes You\r\nHowever, if a person is saying something you want to hear — like, for instance, that they’re having a good time on a date with you — this may lead you to ignore the body language signs that suggest otherwise. Taking their body language into account, on the other hand, could give you a clearer picture. \r\nHowever, Jess O’Reilly notes that it’s important not to over-focus on body language, as, while it can be helpful, it can also be misinterpreted, just as words can.\r\n“It’s natural to want to categorize behaviors — including body language,” says Jess O'Reilly, a relationship expert at Tinder. “We want to categorize behaviors like body language to create a sense of predictability and understanding in our interactions. These shorthand interpretations help us navigate social dynamics without the need for explicit conversations, reducing the potential for awkwardness or rejection.”\r\n“However,” O’Reilly adds, “it's important to acknowledge that this isn't entirely realistic — while they can serve as helpful guidelines, they are inherently flawed. Body language varies greatly among individuals and contexts, and relying too heavily on these interpretations can lead to misunderstandings.”\r\nSo, rather than thinking of it as a master key for unlocking all the secrets of human interaction, instead, you can think of it as another (often important) thing to keep in mind when navigating interactions with other people. \r\nRELATED: Body Language Cues That Mean a Woman Is Interested\r\n\r\nBody Language in Dating Contexts\r\n\r\nGiven the relationship between our emotions and our physical state, it’s not exactly surprising to consider that there is an intimate and meaningful link between people’s romantic or sexual feelings and their body language, since attraction and arousal can have such significant emotional weight for so many people. \r\nIn dating contexts, “it’s important to have an understanding of how the other person is feeling so you can gauge what direction to take things,” says Bendory. \r\nTo get an idea of how this can play out in a dating context, Moody suggests that you imagine a man on a date with a woman.\r\n“The man may be telling the woman all about himself,” she says. “In response, she says ‘I like you and am interested in getting to know you better.’ However, she leans back against the booth while he’s speaking, crosses her arms and looks around the room. Do you think she’s interested in him?”\r\nRELATED: Proven Signs She's Interested \r\nAs Moody points out, “Her actions give a completely different story than her words. Her body language and words are incongruent.”\r\nWhy would she say something polite like that when she doesn’t really mean it? It comes down to the desire to make the other person comfortable rather than hurt. \r\n“Most of us don’t want to feel rejected or do something that would make someone else uncomfortable,” Bendory says. \r\nBecause of the way women are typically raised — i.e. they are often taught to care more about other people’s feelings than their own — they may be especially likely to say things that give the impression of interest when there is none, though Moody notes that this can happen in interactions between people of any gender or sexuality. \r\nRELATED: What Women Say & What They Really Mean \r\nSo, if you’re a man who dates women, it’s useful to remember there’s a chance your date will find it difficult to clearly and directly convey disinterest or displeasure. Keeping this in mind, you can watch for body language signs that may offer a clearer picture of what’s going on — though, as O’Reilly says, you should take the below cues as guidelines and hints rather than as fool-proof and clear-cut rules. \r\nBody Language Signs of Attraction\r\nOpen Body Posture: This looks like someone who’s sitting or standing with “Shoulders back, body open wide, and facing you,” says O’Reilly. “Some research suggests that expansive body language is more attractive and welcoming, signaling that the person may be inviting new connections.”Sustained Eye Contact: If you’re both “looking directly in each other’s eyes,” Moody notes, that could be a sign of mutual interest, as eye contact is often associated with attraction. Physical Touch: If someone’s “finding innocent ways to touch the other person (picking lint off a sweater, putting your arm on their shoulder while laughing at their joke, putting your knee next to theirs while sitting next to each other),” says Bendory, that’s a good clue that there may be attraction in the mix.Self-Grooming: This could look like someone who “flips or twists [their] hair,” per Moody, or is adjusting their clothing, according to Bendory — it could be a sign that they’re thinking about their body and appearance in relationship to your perceiving it.Mirrored Body Language: “Mimicking your body language can be a sign of empathy, trust, and closeness,” O’Reilly says. “When someone mirrors your behaviors, it can suggest they are forming a connection and potentially feeling attraction.”Leaning In: If two people are “leaning forward towards each other while chatting,” Moody says, that’s a potential sign of mutual attraction.Laughing & Smiling: “Genuine laughter and frequent smiling can indicate engagement, pleasure, and attraction,” says O’Reilly. “Research shows that laughter is a connector in relationships of all kinds — from the boardroom to the bedroom.”Power Pose: When they’re talking to someone they’re attracted to, Moody says, men may “take up more space by spreading out [their] arms or legs,” as if to convey that they’re bigger and more impressive than they really are. \r\nRELATED: Why Women Find Funny Guys Attractive, Explained \r\nBody Language Signs of Discomfort\r\nClosed Body Language: This could take the form of “crossed arms, hunched shoulders, and turning the body away,” according to O’Reilly. As Moody notes, the person may even be unconsciously trying to protect themselves in this case.Avoiding Eye Contact: “While some people naturally avoid eye contact, a consistent lack of it, paired with other signs of discomfort, might indicate unease,” says O’Reilly. Particularly if you notice they were engaging in eye contact earlier and now seem to be avoiding it, that could be a sign that they’ve started feeling uncomfortable.Leaning or Moving Away: If you’re feeling uncomfortable, Bendory says, you may try to “distance yourself from the other person either by moving your body away or shifting over when sitting next to each other, and avoiding all physical contact, or being clearly uncomfortable when being touched by the other person.”Going Quiet: If the other person is responding only in monosyllabic or terse ways, it could be a sign that they’re not enjoying themselves — particularly if they had been more talkative earlier and have since become more tight-lipped.Fidgeting: “Excessive fidgeting, including playing with objects, tapping feet, or shifting weight, can be a sign of nervousness or discomfort,” says O’Reilly. “This behavior often reflects internal tension and a lack of ease in the situation. Of course, it’s important to note that some of us engage in these habits as a matter of comfort too; tapping can help to put us at ease, for example, which is why relying on body language alone without context is likely inadequate.”\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Talk About Consent (With Examples) \r\n\r\nWhat to Do If the Other Person Seems Uncomfortable\r\n\r\nAs mentioned above, contexts involving attraction and arousal can have elevated emotional stakes. As such, if you notice the other person’s body language seems to suggest they’re uncomfortable, it’s better to err on the side of caution than to brush it off and proceed with business as usual. \r\n“If you’re flirting, then back off a bit,” says Bendory. “It’s possible it’s just getting too intense and the other person is nervous. Give them the space to make a choice in how they want to proceed. If they leave the conversation, they probably just aren’t interested. Never be too pushy — it’s off-putting and will make the other person very uncomfortable.”\r\nIf you’re flirting with a total stranger you’ve never met before — say, at a bar or a party — now might be a good time to make an excuse and leave them alone. \r\nHowever, if you’re on a date that had otherwise been going well, particularly if you’re now in a secluded or private space, such as you’ve retreated to one of your places so it’s just the two of you, O’Reilly suggests you take a pause in the conversation as an opportunity to check in with them. \r\n“If they’re pulling back, you can do the same (mirror their body language): pull back physically and ask them how they’re feeling,” she suggests. “Make space for a break from more intense interactions.”\r\n“They may be comfortable expressing exactly what they want and they may not, so if you can provide options (e.g. want to chill and just watch a show?), it can help them to communicate more clearly,” O’Reilly says.\r\nIf you notice the other person’s body language seeming to express discomfort during sex, you should stop what you’re doing immediately before doing anything else, and if you’re engaged in penetration, pull out. \r\nDepending on which position you’re in, it may be a good idea to break from it and, for instance, sit next to them or take a step back so that they have some space to themselves. \r\nThen, Bendory says, “ask the other person if everything is OK or if they just need a moment.”\r\n“At best, these kinds of actions could simply mean ‘slow down, you’re getting ahead of me,’” says Moody. However, “at worst, it could be an involuntary trauma response and mean ‘stop.’”\r\nRELATED: How to Make Sex Less Awkward \r\nAs she notes, “This may mean ‘we’re done for the night,’ or it could mean ‘I just need to take a break and breathe.’”\r\nIn either case, she says, you should respect that wish. Someone who’s pushing past the signals of another person’s discomfort in a sexual context is highly likely to violate their consent, so it’s very important to remain conscious of what the other person is expressing with their body language. \r\nIf you misread their genuine interest as discomfort, that’s not the end of the world and you can easily restart the fun. But the inverse isn’t true — misreading their genuine discomfort as a neutral or positive response could lead to serious consequences for both participants. Better safe than sorry. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nUnderstanding the Concept of 'Digital Body Language'Flirting Tips From ProfessionalsHow to Show You're Interested in Someone Without Crossing Boundaries", "keywords": "Understanding, Body, Language, Sex, Dating, Contexts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "134", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/383_love_tip/askmen-lead-image-template-5-1723215429.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/383_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58423", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Know If You Should Try Couples Therapy", "title_slug": "how-to-know-if-you-should-try-couples-therapy", "title_hash": "2638ea2c3c1be7aac689adabb725ec09", "summary": "7 Signs You & Your Partner May Need Some Couples Therapy Sessions", "content": "For many people, the words “couples therapy” may evoke images of a married couple on the brink of divorce sitting on a therapist’s couch. \r\nBut the truth is, regardless of the length or state of their relationship, most couples could benefit from some form of couples therapy before issues snowball into more serious ones. \r\nIn fact, there are subtle signs that you and your partner could use professional support. Think of it like going to the doctor to check on a persistent cough, rather than waiting until it’s serious enough to require an emergency room visit. \r\n“[Couples therapy] can help prevent couples from getting into patterns that lead to continued high conflict or resentment,” says Dr. Gabrielle Schreyer-Hoffman, founder and licensed psychologist at Upper East Side Psychology.\r\n“It can also allow couples to recognize when they are getting into difficult situations and may need to implement skills or tools learned in therapy or identify when they need more support and should return to couples therapy,” she notes. \r\nWondering whether to look into a therapist? From communication struggles to big life transitions, here are seven signs you need couples therapy, \r\n1. You Keep Having Communication Issues \r\nAs licensed marriage and family therapist Eden Garcia-Balis puts it, communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. If communicating regularly feels like a struggle, you may want to give couples therapy a shot. \r\nThis sign is subtle because it isn’t necessarily about fighting. It’s normal – and even healthy – to argue and disagree. However, if you find that conversations frequently lead to misunderstandings and create a feeling of not being heard, it can foster ongoing frustration and distance. \r\n“It is important to notice when communication is breaking down because this can erode the foundations of your relationship over time if not addressed,” adds Schreyer-Hoffman. \r\n2. There’s an Underlying Lack of Trust \r\nA betrayal such as infidelity is a serious breach of trust that should be addressed with the help of a mental health professional. That said, there are other ways a lack of trust can manifest in your relationship. \r\nRELATED: Habits That Erode Trust in Relationships \r\nFor example, do you or your partner easily get jealous? If your partner freaks out when you don’t answer your phone, for example, it could signal the presence of deeper insecurities and trust issues. Whether the lack of trust is justified or due to someone’s past wounds, it’s important to nip it in the bud and address it if you want your relationship to thrive. \r\n3. You Constantly Fight About the Same Things \r\nDo you constantly fight about the same topic? From money to your in-laws, if an issue keeps coming up without resolution, it’s a sign that you need couples therapy to address it. \r\n“Couples who are constantly disagreeing on the same issues and unable to find resolve may require outside support for understanding each other, identifying resolutions, changing patterns and moving forward,” says Schreyer-Hoffman. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck and risk growing apart. \r\nRELATED: Relationship Fights That Every Couple Has \r\n“Unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and further distancing, making it harder to reconnect,” adds Garcia-Balis. “Therapy provides a structured environment to explore the root causes of these conflicts and develop healthier ways to address disagreements.” \r\n4. You Feel Emotionally Distant \r\nSometimes there is nothing obviously wrong in the external world of your relationship, but you feel this nagging internal discomfort. Perhaps you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner. Maybe you’ve noticed that they seem distant from you. Going through the motions of your routine without addressing this is a mistake. \r\n“Feeling emotionally distant or disconnected from your partner often signals a problem with intimacy or relational dynamics,” notes Garcia-Balis. “This disconnection can result from unresolved issues, lack of quality time together, or changes in personal priorities.” \r\nRELATED: What to Avoid Doing in an Argument With Your Partner \r\nRegardless of its cause, it’s important to address emotional distance early before it leads to feelings of loneliness and unfulfillment that can culminate into a separation. Couples therapy can help you understand what’s really going on and reconnect by fostering emotional intimacy. \r\n5. You’re Not Being Physically Intimate \r\nPhysical intimacy is another indicator of the health of your bond. If you’re not being physically intimate, it’s a sign that there is an underlying concern to address. \r\nFor example, your partner could be struggling with stress in a way that affects their libido. Or, as a couple, you may be avoiding important conversations around your needs and desires. A skilled couples therapist can create a safe space to talk about your sex life. \r\n6. You’re Going Through a Major Life Change \r\nGarcia-Balis warns that major life changes — even positive ones, such as having a child or getting promoted at work — can put stress on a relationship. \r\nNot only can these transitions bring about new challenges to tackle as a couple, but they can also strain existing dynamics and amplify pain points you may already struggle with. Being proactive and seeking therapy can help you navigate transitions smoothly as a team. \r\nRELATED: How to Help a Partner Through a Difficult Time \r\n7. You Want Different Things \r\nShe wants to get married. You don’t feel the need to sign a legal contract to legitimize your commitment. You long to move back home and feel lonely in your new city. She has adapted quite well and loves her new job and friend group.\r\nWanting different things can happen and doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. \r\nSome deal breakers are bigger than others, of course, such as the desire to have kids or not, but, most of the time, there are ways to compromise without abandoning important individual goals and values. \r\nHowever, it’s harder to reach that outcome on your own. Couples therapy can help deal with those times when you’re at a crossroads in your relationship. \r\nRELATED: Bad Reasons to Break Up\r\nSometimes couples therapy will make you realize that it’s better to part ways. But if you care about your relationship, it can give you the tools you need to navigate inevitable bumps in the road and emerge stronger. \r\nSo, don’t ignore the signs above. You don’t need to be in a desperate place to seek help or have a healthier, happier relationship. The sooner you talk to a professional, the better the outcomes will be. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhen to Break Up (And How to Tell If It's the Right Thing to Do)How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Try Couples TherapyGolden Rules of Healthy Relationships, According to Experts", "keywords": "How, Know, You, Should, Try, Couples, Therapy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-know-if-you-should-try-couples-therapy/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1723215137.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/how-to-know-if-you-should-try-couples-therapy.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:55:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58135", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What’s Up With the New Title IX Rule?", "title_slug": "whats-up-with-the-new-title-ix-rule", "title_hash": "53681d42ad3ed0231f8e97222aad4132", "summary": "Summer session continues on with special guest Chris Geidner, aka the \"ultimate law dork.\"\nThe post What’s Up With the New Title IX Rule? appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The Biden administration’s final Title IX rule, which bans sex discrimination in schools that get federal funding, took effect last week. Except, that is, in the more than two dozen states where conservative attorneys general filed lawsuits to block the rule from taking effect.

Chris Geidner joins Imani and Jess this week to parse through the legalese and where it leaves LGBTQ+ students as the new school year nears.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post What’s Up With the New Title IX Rule? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What’s, With, the, New, Title, Rule", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/BL-Card-Summer-Session-E03-Web-1-660x440.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/08/whats-up-with-the-new-title-ix-rule/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:37:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "58134", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What a Harris-Walz Administration Could Mean for Queer Kids", "title_slug": "what-a-harris-walz-administration-could-mean-for-queer-kids", "title_hash": "0b68dfa829227442f0ce0d28f5b95667", "summary": "Democrats are finally taking protections for LGBTQ+ students seriously.\nThe post What a Harris-Walz Administration Could Mean for Queer Kids appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

As much abortion is a central issue in the 2024 election, so too is the difference between the parties when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights, specifically for LGBTQ+ students. That difference became even more extreme after Vice President Kamala Harris announced Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate this week.

Finally, Democrats are getting serious about protecting queer kids.

Harris choosing Walz as her running mate sends a very clear signal of support to LGBTQ+ students and their families. His record both as a teacher and governor demonstrates a real compassion and understanding of the challenges unsupported queer kids and teens face, from increased harassment and bullying to significantly higher incidents of self-harm and suicide. In the late ‘90s, as a high school teacher, Walz was the faculty adviser for his school’s first gay-straight alliance; as governor, he signed into law bills banning conversion therapy and protecting gender-affirming care in Minnesota.

This matters, especially given the target conservatives have placed on the back of trans students and Title IX, the historic civil rights legislation that prohibits sex-based discrimination by any school or university that receives federal funding.

And while any potential Harris running mate was going to align with the party’s platform of supporting LGBTQ+ rights, Walz in particular has made being a good adult to kids in his community a key part of his personality and record as governor.

A lot is on the line for LGBTQ+ students and their families. A week ago, the Biden administration’s revamped Title IX rule on sex discrimination in schools and colleges took effect—except in the more than 20 states where the rule is currently blocked, thanks to multiple injunctions stemming from litigation by conservative attorneys general and organizations like Moms for Liberty.

The rule, which has been in the works for years, defines sex discrimination in school to include both sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination. The rule also brings Title IX into alignment with Title VII, the federal civil rights statute that bans sex discrimination in the workplace—which now includes sexual orientation and gender identity, thanks to the Supreme Court’s decision in Bostock v. Clayton County.

This week’s episode of Boom! Lawyered gets into this critically important piece of rulemaking by the Biden administration with guest Chris Geidner, so be sure to tune in.

We’re still over a week away from the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. My hope is we see Harris and Walz further embrace LGBTQ+ students and their families, and that they make legislating for their benefit a central part of the campaign. It’s not just weird to bully trans kids—it’s also downright evil, and I hope this is the beginning of Democrats saying so with their full chest.

The post What a Harris-Walz Administration Could Mean for Queer Kids appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, Harris-Walz, Administration, Could, Mean, for, Queer, Kids", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/WALZ_FALLOUT-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/08/what-a-harris-walz-administration-could-mean-for-lgbtq-kids/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-12 02:37:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "57908", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Lovewake Review: A Comprehensive Guide to the Dating Site", "title_slug": "lovewake-review-a-comprehensive-guide-to-the-dating-site", "title_hash": "3fc6ef393645f11b1d1884f478912f89", "summary": " In today's article, we will talk about everything you need to know about LoveAwake dating site. Image gotten from pixabay.comLoveAwake dating site is an amazing dating site, despite not being as popular as other dating sites like match.com, OkCupid, Zoosk, and the likes. It has a huge number of members across the United States, Russia, Australia, and South Africa.If you would like to know more about this website, pls stay glued. If you have stumbled on this site, whether on Google or YouTube. Our review will give you full insight into the site. Before we proceed, you may want to ask a few questions about the site, such as Does it have an app on IOS and Android Are they Fake profilesIs it free?Are they scammers on the sitYou get to know all of these in this article What is LoveAwake dating site?LoveAwake is a Free online dating site for singles. It's one of the tremendous websites on the internet that offers free matchmaking services. Every member of this site can scroll thr", "content": "

In today's article, we will talk about everything you need to know about

LoveAwake dating site.

Image gotten from pixabay.com

LoveAwake dating site is an amazing dating site, despite not being as popular as other dating sites like match.com, OkCupid, Zoosk, and the likes. It has a huge number of members across the United States, Russia, Australia, and South Africa.

If you would like to know more about this website, pls stay glued.

If you have stumbled on this site, whether on Google or YouTube. Our review will give you full insight into the site.

Before we proceed, you may want to ask a few questions about the site, such as

Does it have an app on IOS and Android
Are they Fake profiles
Is it free?
Are they scammers on the sit

You get to know all of these in this article

What is LoveAwake dating site?

LoveAwake is a Free online dating site for singles. It's one of the tremendous websites on the internet that offers free matchmaking services. Every member of this site can scroll through to look out for single men and women personalities all for free.

LoveAwake has more than 2 million members in different parts of the world, the dating site cultivates a sense of community among the registered members around the globe. It's a great place to meet people and find love and fun. You can get all these chat rooms through searches. LoveAwake has a free membership plan which allows you to gain access to the platform.

Who is the owner of the LoveAwake dating site?

Love Awake dating site was founded In 2008 by a Russian entrepreneur known as Slava. His main goal was to help people find their perfect match and a future spouse online. Before he launched the Love Awake dating site, he started his first dating agency in Russia in 1995.

Is love-wake free?

Love wake offers a free registration, and every user can gain access to the communication features. Just like other platforms. It also has a premium plan but it is not specified on the Internet.

Does Lovewake have fake profiles?

The Website vets all its users and most amazingly, it flags all the fake accounts. So that’s the major reason why it has no fake profiles. According to research, lovewake has almost 2 million users and these users are active.

Lovewake never stops with the registration process, when you have opened the site On your device. It takes you straight into registration for your profile.

Pros and cons

Pros

Every registered account has the potential to get matchups
It has 3 different ways to contact people
The Membership plan is quite cheap, but not a must

Cons

The adverts on the app could be disturbing

How do I sign In on Love Wake

visit the website at lovewake.com
Tap on the signup button, you will find it by the right corner of the website
Put in a valid email address and get a username that is easy to remember
Put a password
And click on the sign-in button
Lastly, you check your email for confirmation

", "keywords": "Lovewake, Review:, Comprehensive, Guide, the, Dating, Site", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "112", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsLAhicgsnHT1Lv9g7S7o85SI3B9y1i2MPJqsJOTk5ifSG_eJxIoSNmXb4SXhkrUg-gsN4S0kTS8J1PcOi5FfTZ5rPHhbEoyl-n8APClnLw0BAJr41VPQOEPXWsZfygkDM_GnCDabD6CWWmCV2edxYgoGVBjsRjkgtIsl3CBjm9LP_NwXOeEpiOA0xbr8/w1600/F40479A8-EC03-47ED-AE29-6CE8DAD778B2.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2024/06/lovewake-dating-site-review.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-11 06:30:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "57661", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Talking with Your Teen: 10 Tips for Meaningful Connection", "title_slug": "talking-with-your-teen-10-tips-for-meaningful-connection", "title_hash": "9278f0faebf603eb367b19cf68fd1e2f", "summary": "If the idea of talking with your teen reminds you more of a tug of war than an actual conversation, you’re not alone. Many parents and teens alike report feeling […]\nThe post Talking with Your Teen: 10 Tips for Meaningful Connection appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

If the idea of talking with your teen reminds you more of a tug of war than an actual conversation, you’re not alone. Many parents and teens alike report feeling […]

The post Talking with Your Teen: 10 Tips for Meaningful Connection appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Talking, with, Your, Teen:, Tips, for, Meaningful, Connection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/GettyImages-1399252589-1024x683.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/talking-with-your-teen-10-tips-for-meaningful-connection/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-09 02:22:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "57523", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Leave Her Better Than You Found Her", "title_slug": "leave-her-better-than-you-found-her", "title_hash": "ffb30f40df8028a83292db66dfbb4d22", "summary": "In seduction, it is said you must “leave her better than you found her.” But is this really meant or is it just marketing tripe? How do you leave a girl better off?\nAnyone who’s spent any time in the seduction community has come across this phrase sooner or later: “leave her better than you found her.”\nNewer guys can be skeptical of it. “That’s just marketing talk,” they say. “It’s something to brand seduction as more mainstream friendly.”\nOr they might argue that the phrase is a “cope”, as seducers pursuing their nefarious ends are forced to justify their own guilt for plucking a nubile girl’s flower without next taking her to wed.\nOne newly joined member of our forum (who has been bouncing around arguing with everyone about everything) had this to say about the phrase:\nThe \"leave her better off than you found her\" thinking is just dumb and false. Just some train of thought prob concocted by some marketer to counter act the cognitive dissonance nice guys may feel at the thought of pic", "content": "

$\"leave$ In seduction, it is said you must “leave her better than you found her.” But is this really meant or is it just marketing tripe? How do you leave a girl better off?

Anyone who’s spent any time in the seduction community has come across this phrase sooner or later: “leave her better than you found her.”

Newer guys can be skeptical of it. “That’s just marketing talk,” they say. “It’s something to brand seduction as more mainstream friendly.”

Or they might argue that the phrase is a “cope”, as seducers pursuing their nefarious ends are forced to justify their own guilt for plucking a nubile girl’s flower without next taking her to wed.

One newly joined member of our forum (who has been bouncing around arguing with everyone about everything) had this to say about the phrase:

Wow!

In a single paragraph, he managed to insult:

\n
The originator of the phrase as a cynical marketer
\n

\n
The targets of the phrase as conflicted, gullible rubes
\n

\n
Women as inexorably falling in value with each passing partner and every passing minute (reality check: while it is not my personal preference, tons and tons of guys go for higher count and older chicks. We also have men come onto Girls Chase complaining that now, in their 50s or 60s, women their own age are still too picky and will not date them. “The Wall” does not actually hit anywhere near as hard as red pill manosphere guys tend to want to believe it does)
\n

Anyway, I’ll bet this guy’s a real gas at parties!

Is he right though, is “leave her better than you found her” mere cynical marketing tripe, or a phrase concocted to allay the player guilt nice guys experience seducing but not committing to girls?

Or is this mantra something else?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Leave, Her, Better, Than, You, Found, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/leave-her-better-than-you-found-her-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/leave-her-better-you-found-her", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-09 02:17:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "57521", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Much Weight Should You Lift?", "title_slug": "how-much-weight-should-you-lift", "title_hash": "696481b21ae03ae4aba2a81cad40a86b", "summary": "Confused About How Much Weight You Should Load on the Bar? Read This", "content": "If you’re just getting started with weight training and it appears to be incredibly intimidating, know that you are not alone. Especially if you are going at it alone — without a personal trainer or coach there to guide you — it’s hard to know where to start. Can you attempt a 200-pound bench press right away? If not, how much weight should you be lifting? How many reps and sets should you be doing? How do you know when it’s time to increase the amount of weight you’re lifting? \r\nRELATED: Best Kettlebells for Working Out at Home\r\nTo answer all those questions and more we checked in with a couple of our favorite fitness pros, Teddy Savage, head of health and fitness excellence for Planet Fitness, Megan Davies, Beachbody Super Trainer and Creator of #mbf, and Joey Thurman CES, CPT, FNS, CSMC, CSSC, BLS, celebrity trainer, on-air personality, and host of the Fad or Future podcast to get their tips on weight training for beginners.\r\n\r\n#Goals\r\n\r\nBefore you add all the heaviest weights to your Amazon cart and check out, start setting realistic goals. One of the worst mistakes you can make while weight lifting is attempting too much too soon — which tends to result in a lot of pain and potential injury. “When starting a weight training routine make sure to pay attention to the basics and set that foundation for yourself to be successful long term,” says Davies. \r\n“Don’t overdo it during the first few weeks. One of my biggest concerns when working with clients who are new to training is how they are going to feel the next day. A little goes a long way at first and no one needs to feel like they got hit by a truck from a day of training.”\r\nIt’s good to have an idea of how you want your body to benefit from strength training, as well. Are you focused on gaining muscle mass, improving muscle endurance, gaining muscle strength, or all of the above? “There are several distinct styles of training, each with its own unique effect on how the muscles grow,” says Savage. “This is called hypertrophy and doing the wrong kind of program can lead to frustration because the results aren’t in line with the vision you have for your body’s maturation.”\r\nOn that note, Thurman shares that if one of your goals is to bulk up and build muscle mass, increased strength will come as a secondary effect. However, you can gain muscle strength and muscle tone without putting on a lot of mass, if that is your goal.\r\n\r\nTest Your Range of Motion\r\n\r\nThose who are experienced in bodyweight training can likely skip this step, but if you are just starting to work out, or you’ve been strictly a cardio person until now, give this one a go. \r\nSavage shares that before you add load-bearing weights to your routine, you should ensure that you can safely move through what he calls the ‘6 Functional Movement Patterns’ without impingement or strain.\r\nThose movement patterns are:\r\n\r\n\t\r\n\tHinge - Deadlift motion\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tSquat\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tLunge\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tPush - Either a push-up or pressing up an empty weight bar\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tPull - Pull-up, row, or pulling down empty weight bar\r\n\t\r\n\t\r\n\tCarry - carrying anything, medicine ball, groceries\r\n\t\r\n\r\n“You’ll want to pay close attention to your range of motion (ROM) through the execution of the moves,” he adds. “If you feel like you are short of achieving your fullest ROM, you may need to spend valuable time focusing on flexibility before you embark on your weightlifting journey.” \r\n\r\nRELATED: How to Weight Train at Home\r\n\r\nPractice Patience\r\n\r\nAs noted above, it’s best to start slow and finish strong when weight lifting. “Going light will still allow you to add positive stress to the muscles, while giving the lifter an ability to focus on the form and mechanics of each exercise,” notes Savage. “This will ultimately create a better environment for muscle growth and provide more efficient pathways for graduating your weights in the desired lifts.”\r\nThere’s a nice reward for your patience in starting slow, too. You shouldn’t have to wait too long before you start gaining strength and feel ready to progress to heavier weights. “The nice thing about being a beginner is that you’ll see strength gains quickly. Your central nervous system starts communicating better with your muscles allowing you to coordinate your effort more effectively and lift heavier,” says Davies.\r\nJust remember the visual results that come with building muscle will take a bit of time. “It takes a bit more time to start seeing true muscle hypertrophy or growth. Being patient and consistent with your training, using the principles of progressive overload, and of course, getting your nutrition in alignment with your new goals, are key to seeing great results.”\r\n\r\nWhat Weight Should You Start With?\r\n\r\nSo what amount of weight should you be starting your weight training program with? Unfortunately, there’s no set answer here as this will vary greatly from person to person. \r\n\r\nYou might consider starting with adjustable dumbbells or adjustable kettlebells so you can easily change the amount of weight you are lifting as you gain strength – and change the weight to match the muscle group you are working with. For example, you likely need a heavier weight for the kettlebell you are using for weighted squats than the dumbbell you use for back exercises. Alternatively, when using a weight machine you can simply move the pin or remove a weight plate to adjust.\r\n\r\nStart low and make sure you have proper form and control. “At first, you’ll want to be more concerned with form and control instead of how heavy you are lifting. Once you start feeling comfortable with the movement patterns, you can challenge yourself not only with more weight, but with adding reps, sets, or even tempo changes slowly over time,” says Davies.\r\n\r\nWhen it comes to the number of reps and sets you complete, Savage shares that “it’s always better to give yourself a repetition range to hit instead of a single rep target.” For example, he suggests “doing three sets of 10-12 reps, rather than just three sets of 10 reps. This will also help you to determine if a weight choice is too light, too heavy, and when it’s time to safely graduate to a heavier weight.”\r\nTo give you a starting point to work off of, here are three exercises Thurman recommends for beginners.\r\n\r\n\tBicep curl: \"For biceps curls using dumbbells a good weight to start with would be 15 to 20-pound dumbbells really focusing on form and tempo,\" he says. \"Think about going faster on the way up and take about 2-3 seconds on the way down. Do one set and assess how easy or hard it was for you. Could you do 15 with ease? Go up in weight. Was it hard to even get 8? Go down in weight.\"\r\n\r\n\tDumbbell kickback: Here you will lean forward in a flatback, dumbbell in each hand, and move your lower arms from a bent position (90-degree angle with your body) to form a straight line with your upper arm behind you. \"This is a MUST with form and I like people starting with a lighter weight to feel the triceps working. This might be as low as 10-pound to start,\" says Thurman. \r\n\r\n\r\n\tSquats: When it comes to squats, Thurman says that the amount of weight you lift will depend on whether you are doing a bar back squat or a suitcase squat holding dumbbells to your sides. \"If it is a bar just start with the bar (45-pound) and adjust the weight accordingly. For most beginners about 1/3 of your body weight might be a good goal,\" he says. \"If it’s dumbbells you can go a little heavier, as it’s a safer movement and allows more range of motion, I would go for about 1/3-1/4 of your body weight in each hand.\" \r\n\r\n\r\n How Do You Know When to Increase Weight?\r\n\r\nLifting weights starting to feel too easy? Then you’re likely ready to increase your weight. “Start paying attention to how you feel during the set. It should start feeling challenging in the last 2 to 3 reps of the set, but not so challenging your form begins to break down,” says Davies. “If you get to the end of your set and feel like you could have done at least 2 to 3 more reps, it’s an indication you are ready to go up in weight.” She recommends trying a small increase between 2 to 5 pounds on your next set.\r\nAlternatively, “if you do feel your form start to break down, it’s an indication your weight is too heavy. You should safely discontinue the exercise and use a lighter weight for any subsequent sets,” she adds. \r\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out Your Arms?\r\n\r\nLong-term Weight Training Habits\r\n\r\nAvoid plateaus: The type of exercises you do while strength training will depend on you, your goals, and the muscle group you are training on any given day. However, you should keep in mind that, no matter what your routine is, it is important to change your routine every once in a while to avoid a plateau. “Doing the same routine with the same weights will ultimately lead to muscle memory and pesky plateaus,” says Savage. \r\nAdjust every four to six weeks: “To avoid hitting these roadblocks, as a general rule of thumb, you want to adjust your regimen every 4-6 weeks to keep your muscles guessing and engaged. This can be interchanging the exercises themselves or just how you execute your sets and reps. Remember, a confused muscle responds better.”\r\nKeep a training log: Davies recommends having a training log, as well, so you can keep tabs on what exercises you’ve been doing and track how much weight you are starting to lift. “Keeping a training log can help you see what [weight] you have used in the past so you always remember where you’re at on your next workout,” she says. \r\nDon't forget about external impacts: She adds that you should also note if an external factor was impacting your physical activity on a particular day to remember for future reference. “Other things could have an impact on how much you lift on a given day. So include other notes in your log like how much sleep you got, hydration, overall mood, and whatever else you think may have had an effect on your lifting session that day.”\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBenefits of Improving Flexibility\r\n\tBest Weight Benches\r\n\tHow to Get Lean Instead of Bulky", "keywords": "How, Much, Weight, Should, You, Lift", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "105", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-much-weight-should-you-lift/askmen-lead-image-template-1723052107.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-much-weight-should-you-lift.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-09 02:17:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "57522", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Chest Builders That Don't Require a Bench Press Setup", "title_slug": "chest-builders-that-dont-require-a-bench-press-setup-57522", "title_hash": "250fb8491b829524de7e66ce936b0297", "summary": "Ditch the Standard Bench Press & Build a Broader Chest With These 5 Neglected Chest Moves", "content": "If the thought of taking your shirt off this summer is making you want to run to the nearest bench press, you might be surprised to learn that you don’t actually need one. \r\n“One of the best ways to build the chest muscles is through ‘hugging’ exercises, NOT pushing exercises like the bench press,'' says Fyt NASM Certified Personal Trainer Andrew Laux. “You don’t need a bench press to properly train your chest. The only time you need a bench press setup is if you specifically want to get bigger and stronger in the bench press.”\r\nRELATED: How to Get Ripped\r\nSo whether you don’t have access to a bench press setup or you’re simply bored with your current chest workout routine, you can absolutely switch things up while building muscle. \r\n\r\nImportance of Developing Chest Muscles\r\n\r\nThe one thing you don’t want to do, however, is skip chest workouts altogether. While there are aesthetic reasons for developing your chest muscles, there are also functional ones. \r\n“There are many benefits of having a strong chest. Functionally speaking, the chest muscles are really important for all of your favorite activities and sports – think running, throwing a baseball, or climbing a tree,” says Laux. “The chest is the engine behind pushing and grappling type movements. The stronger your chest, the easier it will be to complete your favorite activities.”\r\nRELATED: How Much Weight Should You Lift?\r\nAnd yes, having a bigger chest might also feel good and boost your confidence when you look in the mirror. \r\n“Aesthetically speaking, the chest is the muscle group that stands out on most men because it just so happens to be the muscle group closest to the face. Developing a bigger and stronger chest builds a stronger posture and presence. In short, a big chest makes you look strong!” \r\n\r\nBest Chest Moves Without A Bench Press\r\n\r\nReady to incorporate a variety of chest moves that don’t require a bench press in your fitness regimen? Laux shared the five most effective, no-bench-press chest builders to help you do just that. \r\nDumbbell Chest Fly \r\n\r\n“The chest muscles are designed to hug and that is what the chest fly mimics. If you complete a chest fly properly, you will feel all aspects of the chest fire,” says Laux. \r\n\r\n\tStart lying flat on your back on a bench while holding dumbbells.\r\n\tWith a small elbow bend, open your arms as if you were flying.\r\n\tOnce the weight gets to the end of your peripheral vision, hug the weight back up by squeezing your chest muscles together. \r\nWide-Base Push-up\r\n\r\nAccording to Laux, not only is this bodyweight move great because you can do it anywhere, but few things are as functional and impactful as pushing your entire body off the ground. And this push-up variation allows for deeper chest engagement than your average go-to. \r\n\r\n\tStart in a push-up position, with your back straight and core engaged, except with a wider hand position.\r\n\tMake sure to lead the push up from your chest – not your shoulders – for proper muscle activation. \r\nSingle-Arm Dumbbell Chest Press\r\n\r\nSingle-arm movements are great for correcting imbalances while building strength and mass. \r\n“Sometimes it's too easy to cheat with your stronger side when bench pressing. This exercise is a great way to force your non-dominant arm and chest to work harder and get stronger without the help of your dominant side,” says Laux. \r\n\r\n\tLay on your back on a bench with a dumbbell extending over your shoulder. Pull the weight down so that your elbow is 45 degrees from your side.\r\n\tUse your chest and arm to lift the weight back to the starting position, and don't forget to use your core. \r\nCable Machine Low-to-High Chest Fly\r\n\r\nIf you have access to a cable machine and you’re not getting the most of it during your chest or upper body workout, try this move and never look back. \r\n\r\n\t“With the handles of the cable machine on the floor, simultaneously grab the left handle with your right hand and the right handle with your left hand to form a cross with your arms.\r\n\tExtend your arms outward into a Y shape. This exercise does a great job engaging all aspects of the chest,” says Laux. \r\n\r\nA bonus with this one, according to Laux, there’s something about picking up heavy things that makes you feel primal. One of the side effects of this exercise is feeling like a total badass. \r\nSeated Dumbbell Shoulder Press \r\n\r\nDid you know that your chest should play a big role in a classic shoulder press if you’re doing it right? \r\n\r\n\tIn a seated position, lift your chest and turn your gaze to the ceiling.\r\n\tOpen both arms at a 90-degree angle with your palms facing forward.\r\n\tUse your chest and arms to extend the weights over your head, then bring the weights down and repeat. \r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Build a Home GymBest Home Workout EquipmentBest Exercise Equipment Under $100", "keywords": "Chest, Builders, That, Dont, Require, Bench, Press, Setup", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/chest-builders-that-don-t-require-a-bench-press-setup/askmen-lead-image-template-1723039079.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/chest-builders-that-don-t-require-a-bench-press-setup.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-09 02:17:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "57520", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Chicago Is America’s Best Summer City", "title_slug": "why-chicago-is-americas-best-summer-city", "title_hash": "a5849038f3e79e86525f493097c7c136", "summary": "5 Reasons the Windy City Is the Place to Be in the Hotter Months", "content": "There is no better time than now to take full advantage of what is arguably America’s best summer city: Chicago. \r\nThe Midwestern, Lake Michigan-adjacent gem boasts a bevy of indoor and outdoor activities that range from culinary and culture to athletic and academic, all of which make it a hub of entertainment and opportunity for the well-rounded traveler.\r\n \r\nWhile Chicago often gets an unfairly poor reputation due to gun violence (a trend that has grown nationwide), it shouldn’t deter anyone from becoming acquainted with the Windy City, especially from the months of June to September.\r\nRELATED: A Guide to Visiting Queensland\r\nConsidering a trip? Here’s why you should book that ticket as soon as possible and take full advantage of everything Chitown has to offer.\r\n \r\n1. The weather\r\n \r\nHumidity? Chicago doesn’ know her. Despite being lakeside, visitors can expect a dry and beautiful 70-something degrees for the majority of summer. This means dining al fresco, rooftop barbecues, and, best of all, 26 miles of stunning lakefront parks and trails for running, biking, playing frisbee, swimming, you name it. And while Illinois is home to notoriously bitter winters, it more than makes up for them with days that are impeccably sunny with skies that rival the Heart of the Ocean’s blue in Titanic. \r\n2. The food\r\nWe don’t have to settle the great deep dish vs. thin crust pizza debate, but we can call out Chicago’s impressive dining options, ranging from historical steakhouses such as Gibsons and Gene and Georgetti to modern fare such as Michelin-starred Alinea and Pilsen’s S.K.Y. \r\nRiverfront dining is also a must with iconic establishments such as RPM Seafood and City Winery, but you’d be remiss to not tantalize your taste buds with the Mediterranean eats at River North’s Ema. The delightfully airy, yet cozy space boasts a hummus with braised lamb ragu and pan-roasted halibut among other stand-out dishes.\r\n \r\nSome of the country’s best Italian can be found at Monteverde (order the iconic burrata app), as well as Sapori Trattoria for classics such as bruschetta, bolognese, and fall-off-the-bone osso buco. \r\nBut currently, the local buzz surrounds the St. Regis’ on-site dining options with ultra-fancy, patio-adorned Miru for Japanese brunch and the newly-opened Tre Dita: an architectural masterpiece with oversized windows, plush booths, and jaw-dropping chandeliers that play backdrop to fresh pastas, wood-fired meats, and daily specials featuring seasonal ingredients.\r\n \r\n3. The hotels\r\nTraditional, modern, you name it: There is a property for every type of personality. A few of our favorites include the newly-renovated Hyatt Regency — a wise choice for the business traveler who requires plenty of space to work, but also wants amenities within arm’s reach, such as an impressively large gym, fully-stocked cafe, and on-site restaurant. \r\nThe famed InterContinental Magnificent Mile makes another great option with a junior Olympic-size swimming pool taken straight out of the history books. The 1920s-era Spanish Majolica tile-lined beauty also plays host to weekly “Dive In” movies for hotel guests to simultaneously wade and watch.\r\n \r\nPalmer House Hilton, with its iconic, vaulted ceiling lobby, houses Potter’s Bar: a newly-opened haunt that boasts an impressive list of cocktails, both classic and inspired, with a library of spirits to satisfy any craving. The throwback to Prohibition era speakeasy is an essential stop, especially pre or post-evening activity for small bites and libations. \r\nAnd we’d be remiss to not also include The Drake — a favorite of figures ranging from Princess Diana and Judy Garland to Elizabeth Taylor and Frank Sinatra The property touts and maintains its old-fashioned charm, transporting guests to a time where rooms didn’t require fancy-schmancy, contemporary upgrades that make even finding a light switch difficult. Should you be unable to reserve a room, at least stop by for an Instagram-worthy afternoon tea.\r\n \r\n4. The museums\r\nWhen it comes to museums, Chicago has over 150 of them, including a dedicated island campus containing highlights such as the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, and Adler Planetarium. Other must-sees around the city are The Art Institute of Chicago, Museum of Science and Industry, Museum of Contemporary Art, and Chicago Architecture Center. There is an institution to satisfy any type of curiosity and all of them make wonderful options on those occasionally rainy summer days. \r\n5. The arts, architecture and culture\r\n \r\nTheater, music, and art festivals, oh my! The Windy City is a hub of inspiration and ingenuity from all walks of life, drawing the best of the best from around the world, but also showcasing local talent at venues such as Steppenwolf, Lookingglass, and the Goodman. Lollapalooza now rivals Coachella and it doesn’t take a connoisseur of the arts to appreciate the art galleries and spontaneous musical acts that pop up, both downtown and among Chicago’s many bustling suburbs. \r\nAt the heart of Chicago’s city center is stunning architecture in Chicago School, art deco, gothic, and modern styles with a river that runs directly through them. A boat tour makes the most sense to take in their beauty and learn a little history, though walking around and taking in the sights at your own pace more than suffices.\r\n \r\nAnd let’s not forget that Chicago is a city of sports, from the Blackhawks and Bulls to the White Sox, Cubs, and Bears. There’s always a team to root for and always a stadium to explore and check off a bucket list. \r\nNo matter how you swing it (or swoosh it if you’re local Michael Jordan), Chicago makes a lot of sense for any traveler seeking an easy-to-plan, fairly inexpensive domestic escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. These recommendations are only a handful of the gems that makes it one of the best major metropolises that our country tis of thee has to offer.\r\n \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nThe Best Hotels in the WorldA Guide to the Holidays in Las VegasThe Best Wine Tasting in San Francisco", "keywords": "Why, Chicago, America’s, Best, Summer, City", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/travel/why-chicago-is-americas-best-summer-city/askmen-lead-image-template-1723160873.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/travel/why-chicago-is-americas-best-summer-city.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-09 02:17:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56890", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Bid Busters: Ways You Unintentionally Turn Away from Connection", "title_slug": "bid-busters-ways-you-unintentionally-turn-away-from-connection", "title_hash": "1169691017514cb8433e8d09619cbe50", "summary": "The people you love are making bids for your attention. Can you hear them?\nThe post Bid Busters: Ways You Unintentionally Turn Away from Connection appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

The people you love are making bids for your attention. Can you hear them?

The post Bid Busters: Ways You Unintentionally Turn Away from Connection appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Bid, Busters:, Ways, You, Unintentionally, Turn, Away, from, Connection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Distracted-While-Parenting_-It-Could-Be-Dangerous-HI.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/bid-busters-ways-you-unintentionally-turn-away-from-connection/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:23:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56889", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: Fear Women-See How My Ex Has Been Controlling My Life For Over Ten Years", "title_slug": "true-life-story-fear-women-see-how-my-ex-has-been-controlling-my-life-for-over-ten-years", "title_hash": "1fdf2e7b813265d92cbb6d56fd461c71", "summary": "True Life Story: Fear Women-See How My Ex Has Been Controlling My Life For Over Ten Years Hi Lively Stones, Please hide my details. I want to get something off my chest. Fear who no fear women right….Over a decade ago, I made up my mind that marriage was not for me after I found […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: Fear Women-See How My Ex Has Been Controlling My Life For Over Ten Years

Hi Lively Stones,

Please hide my details. I want to get something off my chest. Fear who no fear women right….Over a decade ago, I made up my mind that marriage was not for me after I found out a girl I loved with all my heart was just playing with my heart and controlling my life with her p#ssy with also most of my friends. Let’s call her Amanda. She was the younger cousin of one of our friends. We were a group of four guys living big off campus back then in school. Amanda, a Mass Comm new student came to stay with her cousin, Favour still she sorted her accommodation.

Thing is, Amanda was very stunning, like a goddess…not pretty…stunning…one of those girls that guys loose their minds over. It was a four bedroom flat and she would hang around all of us guys sometimes in our rooms. I fell hopelessly in love. The thing was, the girl was f#cking all 3 of us except her cousin but none of us knew until like we were in 400 level. Amanda wanted our relationship to be a secret cos of her cousin. Same sh!t she told all the 2 other guys.

How we found out later was during graduation, each guy wanted to claim her finally since we were all leaving school, this girl choose Dennis, the most gentle guy of all 3 of us. It was mad but Dennis was like, we should cut our losses that Amanda grew up with some trauma, so he understands her verry well and long story short, he does not care that his flat mates have slept with her. That incident changed my life for ever. I vowed never to trust a woman or even marry one.

Fast forward to like six years later….I get a job in Abuja. I found out Dennis and Amanda got married and live in Abuja with their son. They later tried to invite me for link up. After much, since I was new in town, I decided to go. We hung out and had a great time. After that, Amanda started chatting me….I began to recognize those signs from the past. I tried to ask her why she was doing this now she is married, she said marriage is boring, that she misses her single life.

Amanda took it upon herself to help me find apartment after which, she began to sneak back to me. I never trust women and felt sorry for my man Dennis cos we warned him his wife was a slut but he was feeling soft for her. Yes, Amanda had a rough child hood…she is an orphan, shes lived with many relatives who have sexually abused her and she ended with always wanting to f#ck as a way of draining her pain or whatever. But as an adult, she is very aware that men are attracted to her cos she’s foine like sexy like hell too…so she is taking advantage of men too.

I can’t say there are no women in my life but Amanda has a way of lighting a fire in me. So Amanda and I started f#cking each other for almost one year. She broke it off and told me she needed a break. I did not want a break cos I was hooked on her like cocaine. But I later found out she was pregnant. My brain tried to do the math and I suspected it was mine. She denied it saying she was on protection with me so I did not push it but I knew how wicked this girl is, I just shook my head and again felt sorry for Dennis. He married her…knowing the type of person she was…so dont blame a player….blame the gamer (Amanda).

After the break up, I tried to move on with my life with pregnant Amanda finally out of my life. Only for me to get a call from Dennis asking for my help from my contact for his younger sister. She needed a contact from someone I knew. That is how me and Rachael got introduced. Abuja single girls like Rachael are also vampires. That one, soon as she saw I was single, started coming into me. And me, a badass player…I did not fall hand.

The only problem is the yeye Rachael went to confide in Amanda that she likes me and wants to be with me. Amanda tried to discourage her that I am her ex but this girl will not hear. Amanda has been contacting me not to have anything to do with her sister inlaw….and am like….Nibo? Like….who the f#ck is Amanda to tell me who to be with? Cos her t@t@ sweet die no mean say man cannot knack any knackable. I ignored Amanda and she went ballistic.

More From Lively Stones

That is how Amanda told me that the pregnancy she is carrying is mine. I swear to god…this Amanda is a monster. How can you do that to your own husband? A guy who picked you up from the gutter? And to me????? Now, I have a child with you? And you are only telling me so I don’t sleep with your sister in-law? I swear…women are evil…maybe not all but you see these ones I have met in my life….chai…they can be dangerous.

Now, I am confused….

...TO BE CONTINUED

Anonymous

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True Life Story: Fear Women-See How My Ex Has Been Controlling My Life For Over Ten Years-Pt 2

CLICK HERE TO READ THE FIRST PART OF THIS STORY

Now, I am confused…What does Amanda want me to do? Leave my child for another man to raise? I asked her and she said I cannot lay claim to the child cos she is still married….that any child conceived in marriage is for the husband…ha…this woman….you see why I can never marry? I need to get this off my chest. Rachael is still not giving up even despite my rejecting her and me, I no reject woman like that.

Two weekends ago, Rachael came for a weekend and since then, she has refused to leave. Maybe her plan is to get pregnant but I have started strapping up and she is not finding it funny…few days ago, she almost bit off my penis cos she wanted the condom off…I don taya…what should I tell her to leave me alone….maybe that I have disease? I have told her she is not my type…told her am not going to marry her…she said no problem….that she just needs a partner…that she is not a child.

So I chilled…. two days ago….Amanda called me to meet up…told her I couldn’t….next thing…she pulled up at my place…told her to leave cos Rachael went to the gym but would soon be back…this horny pregnant woman wanted to f#ck…and even though I did not want to…we ended up doing several rounds which made us loose track of time….it was Rachael’s call that she was at the door that got us back to reality.

When we adjusted quickly and opened the door for Rachael….one look told Rachael we just had s3x…..Rachael went mad and started abusing Amanda….only cos she was pregnant….she would have physically attacked Amanda….Amanda left as quickly as she could but Rachael has also figured out that I am the father of the baby Amanda is pregnant with but I have been denying it …telling her I never slept with her without protection.

Now…Rachael is threatening to tell her brother about the pregnancy except Amanda leaves me alone….I think I need a break…I have left my house to a hotel….switched off my phones….I am thinking of how to get both women out of my head and my life….truth is…If am being honest…I never really stopped loving Amanda….I h@te to admit it but I despise her for all that she has done to me…how she knows I love her…yet she is still married to someone else and she is carrying my child….

More From Lively Stones

I feel like…I will never be able to get Amanda out of my head….maybe I have been using Rachael to get rid of her but its not working…I needed to get this off my chest. Right now…I feel completely overwhelmed with all that is happening and I needed to get things off my chest.I am not trying to claim being a saint…I am not one at all…but I am open to any suggestions on how to deal with these matter on ground….it is beginning to weigh on me and distract me from my job and business. I need a solution to all these mess.

What can I do? This whole thing is getting too messy…

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Fear, Women-See, How, Has, Been, Controlling, Life, For, Over, Ten, Years-Pt", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/fear-women.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-fear-women-see-how-my-ex-has-been-controlling-my-life-for-over-ten-years-pt-2/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:23:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56735", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Date and Sleep with Absolute Stunners", "title_slug": "how-to-date-and-sleep-with-absolute-stunners", "title_hash": "1e0fe9be7e03526b8085860700accf56", "summary": "Getting regular girls is cool. But how do you step it up and really date the total knockouts? Here’s what it takes to get the stunners – and what you have to do.\nRecently we had a thread on the forum by a member asking “How do you get the absolute stunners?” He asked:\n\nContents\n1. Little-Known Truths\n\n'Objective 10' Myth\nThe Beauty Spectrum\nNo 'All Stunner' Guys\nImitation Stunners\nStunners Are Girls Too\n\n2. How to Date Stunners\n\nFinding Stunners\nIs XYZ Way Easier?\nBalance of Pickiness\nIgnore Beauty Markers\nApproach Stunners\nScreen & Qualify\n\n3. The Main Points\n\nI have noticed that there’s a certain level of attractiveness I seem to be unable to get.\nI might number close these stunners at the mall, or on the streets, but it’s usually the same outcome —either they text back a bit and ghost, or they never text back or pick their calls.\nI have a triple digit lay count so I don’t know if it could be a “game” problem as I am not a novice.\nNow, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I know it all", "content": "

$\"how$ Getting regular girls is cool. But how do you step it up and really date the total knockouts? Here’s what it takes to get the stunners – and what you have to do.

Recently we had a thread on the forum by a member asking “How do you get the absolute stunners?” He asked:

Contents

1. Little-Known Truths

2. How to Date Stunners

3. The Main Points

This topic (landing and bedding stunners) has long been one of the most hotly debated in dating circles. Men from various schools will claim that only their school leads men to the true Stunner Promised Land. Muscle guys insist you need muscles to land the babes. Money guys insist you need money to get them. Status guys insist you need fame or high position in social circle to get them. Game guys will tell you it’s all just a matter of having the right game.

The (perhaps controversial?) truth is that pretty much every avenue CAN WORK, and it is possible to meet, date, and bed stunners however you want to go about it. The guys who haven’t tried an avenue and swear it can’t work are keyboard jockeying. The guys who have tried an avenue, failed to make it work, but succeeded at landing stunners via another avenue are more interesting – their failures tend to come from misapplication, underapplication, or not playing to their strengths. We’ll talk about all these below.

But we’re going to start today by clearing away the myths around stunners, so you can view these gals through a much more realistic – and far less fantastical – lens.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Date, and, Sleep, with, Absolute, Stunners", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "112", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/how-to-date-and-sleep-with-stunners-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-date-and-sleep-absolute-stunners", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:46", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56734", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Differences Between a Pro Pickup Artist & an Intermediate One", "title_slug": "5-differences-between-a-pro-pickup-artist-an-intermediate-one", "title_hash": "17da9ad3d1ba8b647192540523ec76b4", "summary": "How do you tell a pro-level pickup artist from a flashy mid-range one? There are 5 obvious ways – from his foundation to how he handles “bad nights” & more.\n\nContents\nI. A Solid Foundation\nII. Momentum: Ups and Downs\nIII. Bad Nights\nIV. Unusual Situations\nV. The Pro Knows What’s Up\nVI. Conclusion\n\nHey guys and welcome back.\nWhat differentiates a real pro pickup artist from an impressive intermediate? You may want to know how to spot the difference.\nTrue pros are a rare breed. I would not recommend looking for them.\nBut if you find a candidate from whom you wish to learn, this post can be helpful.\nThe details below will give you an idea of what pickup mastery looks like. Many men have a flawed ideal of “the successful seducer.” They think that the guy who is flashy and makes girls giggle is a so-called “natural.” Most likely, he is just so-so. True mastery is subtle, and we often define this by the factors below and what we call “flash game.”\nI consider myself successful, but I am not t", "content": "

$\"the$ How do you tell a pro-level pickup artist from a flashy mid-range one? There are 5 obvious ways – from his foundation to how he handles “bad nights” & more.

Contents

I. A Solid Foundation

II. Momentum: Ups and Downs

III. Bad Nights

IV. Unusual Situations

V. The Pro Knows What’s Up

VI. Conclusion

Hey guys and welcome back.

What differentiates a real pro pickup artist from an impressive intermediate? You may want to know how to spot the difference.

True pros are a rare breed. I would not recommend looking for them.

But if you find a candidate from whom you wish to learn, this post can be helpful.

The details below will give you an idea of what pickup mastery looks like. Many men have a flawed ideal of “the successful seducer.” They think that the guy who is flashy and makes girls giggle is a so-called “natural.” Most likely, he is just so-so. True mastery is subtle, and we often define this by the factors below and what we call “flash game.”

I consider myself successful, but I am not talking only about myself. I have gone out with top guys, and this post also references these experiences. I know that they agree with my observations.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Differences, Between, Pro, Pickup, Artist, Intermediate, One", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/pro-pickup-artist-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/5-differences-between-pro-pickup-artist-intermediate-one", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56733", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Guys Who Struggle to Approach Girls: The Stages of Approach Problems & Abilities", "title_slug": "guys-who-struggle-to-approach-girls-the-stages-of-approach-problems-abilities", "title_hash": "61434d01d3a8ea18035dd5e5a1f016b0", "summary": "Why is it so hard for you to talk to girls? There’s more than one reason men struggle to approach girls. From anxiety to trauma, the causes vary – as do the solutions.\nThis post written by COCPORN and edited by Carousal originally appeared on our forum here.\n\nThis is a draft. I want this to be a helpful article over time, please contribute. This article draws on information from Levine and Berceli, and makes assumptions that they’re right. I’m looking for more clearly defined stages and overall correctness. I hope this can help diagnose problems and make it easier to prescribe the correct remedies for different situations.\nA personal note from me to you: If you decide to comment or answer to this, reflect on where you’re currently at personally in terms of opening.\nCarousel: This is a post written by COCPORN in 2014. Much of it is still valid. I have made comments some places with my 2020 understanding of the topic. The topic is that AA is not just one thing, hence there is a lot of co", "content": "

$\"causes$ Why is it so hard for you to talk to girls? There’s more than one reason men struggle to approach girls. From anxiety to trauma, the causes vary – as do the solutions.

This post written by COCPORN and edited by Carousal originally appeared on our forum here.

This is a draft. I want this to be a helpful article over time, please contribute. This article draws on information from Levine and Berceli, and makes assumptions that they’re right. I’m looking for more clearly defined stages and overall correctness. I hope this can help diagnose problems and make it easier to prescribe the correct remedies for different situations.

A personal note from me to you: If you decide to comment or answer to this, reflect on where you’re currently at personally in terms of opening.

Carousel: This is a post written by COCPORN in 2014. Much of it is still valid. I have made comments some places with my 2020 understanding of the topic. The topic is that AA is not just one thing, hence there is a lot of confusion about what it is on how to solve it. Note that this is advanced material, so please take time to try to understand us before you disagree. Also please read THIS thread explaining TRE and other therapies before you read this post, otherwise you won't understand the terminology.

Intention: To create a helpful tool for escaping problems related to approaching. This tool will work by identifying the stages of approach problems and presenting solutions to them. At this point there might not be solutions to all stages. I’ll try to present the solutions I’ve personally seen for the different stages. I’ll also try to theorize around some solutions to different stages, but these will be clearly marked. I’m not necessarily looking for new techniques with this article, old and proven methods are welcome as suggestions to solving the different stages of approach problems.

Problem: People have problems approaching. These problems range from deeply rooted to superficial. Even without deeply rooted problems related to approaching, there often seems to emerge a pattern of avoidance or forceful exposure.

Carousel: This is why you see so much disagreement on causes and remedies to AA - people are in different stages and some of the more advanced guys may never have even been in the worst stages described here, while the hardcases have only been in the worst stages. Of course these guys will have zero understanding of each other both in terms of perception of the problem and devising an useful solution. I have personally gone through all of them so I can relate to most of the perspectives.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Guys, Who, Struggle, Approach, Girls:, The, Stages, Approach, Problems, Abilities", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/stages-of-approach-problems-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/guys-who-struggle-approach-girls-stages-approach-problems-abilities", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56732", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Should You Join a Run Club to Get Dates?", "title_slug": "should-you-join-a-run-club-to-get-dates", "title_hash": "d68ed12b9d69000c008a8c6ad2d4cf43", "summary": "Singles running clubs are kind of the rage right now. You’re outdoors, you’re not online, you’re forced to put your phone away… but do they get you dates?\nI always have folks ask me for fresh ideas about where to go to meet new people and get dates. Frankly, everyone’s pretty sick of online these days and ready to focus on real life again. (we’ve got some folks who are still killing it on apps, but… a lot of readers are over it)\nWe have plenty of articles on Girls Chase recommending various places you can go to meet people and get dates in the real world. Here is one such example. In fact, we have an entire section of the website dedicated to the topic.\nHowever, one phenomenon we have not previously covered is run clubs. In particular, singles run clubs. I think it’s worth covering: what are singles run clubs, and should you bother joining a running club just to get dates?\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"will$ Singles running clubs are kind of the rage right now. You’re outdoors, you’re not online, you’re forced to put your phone away… but do they get you dates?

I always have folks ask me for fresh ideas about where to go to meet new people and get dates. Frankly, everyone’s pretty sick of online these days and ready to focus on real life again. (we’ve got some folks who are still killing it on apps, but… a lot of readers are over it)

We have plenty of articles on Girls Chase recommending various places you can go to meet people and get dates in the real world. Here is one such example. In fact, we have an entire section of the website dedicated to the topic.

However, one phenomenon we have not previously covered is run clubs. In particular, singles run clubs. I think it’s worth covering: what are singles run clubs, and should you bother joining a running club just to get dates?

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Should, You, Join, Run, Club, Get, Dates", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/singles-run-clubs-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/should-you-join-run-club-get-dates", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56731", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Get Girls to Look at Your Face", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-get-girls-to-look-at-your-face", "title_hash": "08487f241bf21b208cbbe5db5bfc3567", "summary": "Want a girl to show you she wants to meet? Here’s a simple tactic: do stuff that calls her attention to your face, so she notices you & can signal you.\nHere’s something that’s so obvious you’ll be amazed you didn’t think of it yourself.\nMost people most of the time, including most women, are in an autopilot ‘holding pattern’. They are in an unstimulated state, awaiting stimulation. Sometimes you will come across women who are present and aware and actively searching (e.g., for a potential mate), but this is somewhat rare. Most of the time people are off in their own worlds.\nOf course, before we can commence a courtship or a seduction, we first need to get the attention of the girl we’d like to do that with. You can’t just jump in front of her with your arms waving and yell “Booga booga!” though. So what can you do?\nOne of the simplest, most casual, most Law of Least Effort-abiding ways to get girls paying attention to you (and elicit approach invitations) is with one of a number of mov", "content": "

$\"get$ Want a girl to show you she wants to meet? Here’s a simple tactic: do stuff that calls her attention to your face, so she notices you & can signal you.

Here’s something that’s so obvious you’ll be amazed you didn’t think of it yourself.

Most people most of the time, including most women, are in an autopilot ‘holding pattern’. They are in an unstimulated state, awaiting stimulation. Sometimes you will come across women who are present and aware and actively searching (e.g., for a potential mate), but this is somewhat rare. Most of the time people are off in their own worlds.

Of course, before we can commence a courtship or a seduction, we first need to get the attention of the girl we’d like to do that with. You can’t just jump in front of her with your arms waving and yell “Booga booga!” though. So what can you do?

One of the simplest, most casual, most Law of Least Effort-abiding ways to get girls paying attention to you (and elicit approach invitations) is with one of a number of moves designed to get girls to look at your face.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Get, Girls, Look, Your, Face", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "105", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/08/girls-look-at-face-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-get-girls-look-your-face", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56730", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Aussie Woman Makes Over $600 a Month Renting Half of Her Bed to Lonely Strangers", "title_slug": "aussie-woman-makes-over-600-a-month-renting-half-of-her-bed-to-lonely-strangers", "title_hash": "80ccb669138768ce76b802bafee5a463", "summary": "The cost of living crisis has led to some unusual solutions, like a new concept called “hot bedding”…", "content": "The cost of living crisis has led to some unusual solutions, like a new concept called “hot bedding”…", "keywords": "Aussie, Woman, Makes, Over, 600, Month, Renting, Half, Her, Bed, Lonely, Strangers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "127", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/imagew.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/aussie-woman-makes-over-600-a-month-renting-half-of-her-bed-to-lonely-strangers/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56729", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Products to Remove Blackheads", "title_slug": "best-products-to-remove-blackheads", "title_hash": "74c6d9dd883a8ae2ccdacaed914c32da", "summary": "Living in a time where looks make all the impression, the slightest blemish can throw off a man’s appearance. One pimple here. A cold sore there. Facial skincare conditions can have profound social and psychological effects. Add blackheads to that list. These little neglected blots on your landscape are viewed as a representation of your hygiene. And playing host to several of these tiny black dots just isn’t a good look. But don’t feel singled out here.\r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Face Masks for Men\r\nPer the American Academy of Dermatology, Acne affects over 50 million Americans and remains the most common skin disorder in the US. Blackheads are a byproduct of acne that usually forms on the face, more so on the oiliest part of it, the nose. That’s not to say they can’t appear on your arms, back, neck, shoulders, and other parts of the body. Now knowing this, it’s so worth scratching underneath the skin’s surface to understand the formation and science behind them.\r\n\r\nWhat Causes Blackhead", "content": "Living in a time where looks make all the impression, the slightest blemish can throw off a man’s appearance. One pimple here. A cold sore there. Facial skincare conditions can have profound social and psychological effects. Add blackheads to that list. These little neglected blots on your landscape are viewed as a representation of your hygiene. And playing host to several of these tiny black dots just isn’t a good look. But don’t feel singled out here.\r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Face Masks for Men\r\nPer the American Academy of Dermatology, Acne affects over 50 million Americans and remains the most common skin disorder in the US. Blackheads are a byproduct of acne that usually forms on the face, more so on the oiliest part of it, the nose. That’s not to say they can’t appear on your arms, back, neck, shoulders, and other parts of the body. Now knowing this, it’s so worth scratching underneath the skin’s surface to understand the formation and science behind them.\r\n\r\nWhat Causes Blackheads?\r\n\r\nSo what brings about these gross pore-clogging pollutants? Well first off, we need to clear something up, and that's the difference between a sebaceous filament and a blackhead. Blackheads form when the opening of a hair follicle becomes obstructed, forming a plug created by overproduced sebum that blocks your pores. Oxidation of sebum then turns the plug black.\r\nOn the other hand, a sebaceous filament is a just fact of life, and typically not so noticeable. We are covered in tiny hairs coming out of tiny hair follicles. These follicles also come standard with a sebaceous gland that produces sebum to keep our skin naturally moisturized and protected. It’s when those filaments get overly oily that they can mimic blackheads. In addition to your DNA (yep, some of this is out of your control) these are just some other factors that may increase the chances of developing blackheads:\r\n\r\n\tConsuming dairy products and carbs that increase blood sugar levels\r\n\tDrugs such as corticosteroid, lithium or androgens\r\n\tExcessive buildup of propionibacterium acnes \r\n\tHormonal changes that increase oil production\r\n\r\nExtreme cases and might require prescription medications to reduce symptoms. However, dermatologists believe most stubborn blackhead treatments are a question of self-management. And no, not squeezing those suckers out by applying pressure to the bridge of your beak or anywhere on the face, no matter how bizarrely gratifying you’ve found acne extraction these past few years. Quit being an advocate of the subculture. \r\nA plethora of skincare routine solutions exist in the skincare market designed to clear up your complexion spread across several categories. Let’s get you familiarized with all the different types of blackhead removal products out there. \r\n\r\nHow to Get Rid of Blackheads\r\n\r\nFacial Cleansers\r\nMuch of what makes these face washes amazing blackhead treatments lies in the active ingredients they carry. Benzoyl peroxide, charcoal, and salicylic acid just to name a few works incredibly well to dissolve comedo (aka blackheads) and unclog pores for a clearer complexion. An ideal cleanser comes oil-free, removing dead skin cells and extreme sebum in the process.\r\nDermalogica Special Cleansing Gel\r\n\r\n\r\nThis fast-acting cleanser uses all-natural Quillaja Saponaria to generate a rich foam lather that wipes away impurities and leaves your pores clear and open without any abrasion or damage to your skin's natural moisture levels. Once the cleansing work is done, the combination of lavender extract and balm mint helps soothe your skin, making this cleanser gentle enough to use regularly.\r\n$44 at Amazon.com\r\nAnthony Glycolic Facial Cleanser\r\n\r\n\r\nThis sulfate-free gentle cleanser is creamy, doesn’t suds up, and comes loaded with 4.2% glycolic acid, a key additive that’s considered the one of the most skin-friendly exfoliators there is. The potent power of that exfoliating acid is balanced out by an antioxidant blend of vitamins A, C, and E as well as a soothing blend of aloe, calendula, and chamomile. Great for daily use, especially pre-shave, when glycolic acid works to prevent clogged pores, ingrown hairs, and razor bumps helping ensure a clean, smooth shave.\r\n$18 at Amazon.com\r\nJack Black Deep Dive Glycolic Facial Cleanser\r\n\r\n\r\nJack Black’s become a staple for modern groomists who are all in favor of maintaining their appearances. The brand incorporates kaolin clay, volcanic ash, and a variety of vegan-friendly ingredients that enhance the cleansing effect to have skin emerge firmer and smoother. Take a nickel-size amount of this cleanser, ideal or combination skin, and let it work magic on your mug. \r\n$50 at Amazon.com\r\nMasks\r\nFace masks are favored for their ability to eradicate skin of everything from a single clogged pore to an array of blackheads and other contaminants. Some of the best ones are known for containing high-quality ingredients with antibacterial properties. Keep your eyes peeled for ones featuring activated charcoal, alpha hydroxy acids, benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid. \r\nClay anchors a variety of skincare properties that are activated once its molecules become wet, developing an electric charge to draw out impurities trapped in the skin’s pores. Two types of clay exist-kaolin and bentonite-both designed to absorb sebum and leave your sheath feeling smoother. Making clay part of your grooming regimen will not only clear up skin, but improve elasticity and prevent breakouts. \r\nOrigins Clear Improvement Active Charcoal Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nComplex, organic, and powerful, Origins blackhead solution combines bamboo charcoal with white China clay to flush out daily environmental toxins and wipe pores clean of grime. Men with dry, normal, and oily skin can minimize the look of their enlarged pores and do away with lackluster skin. Detoxify your face weekly - or every few days - and leave it with the soft touch she desires.\r\n$28 at Amazon.com\r\nAztec Secret Indian Healing Pore Cleansing Clay Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nUsed for acne, body wrapping, facials, foot soaks, and yes, clay baths, the Amazon Best Seller is an insanely powerful compound once mixed with equal parts of apple cider vinegar and/or water. It’s said to be incredibly effective in ridding the nose of sebaceous filaments and black/white heads. Over 11,000 Amazon reviewers will attest to this.\r\n$14.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTata Harper Purifying Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nTata Harper may have only launched her brand 10 years ago, but in that decade, she has formulated some of the biggest cult favorites in the skin care game. Whereas it’s hard to choose between the Purifying Mask and the Clarifying Mask (they are both good at what they do) the one we chose won out just slightly thanks to its ability to pull out impurities yielding more immediate results. Using potent ingredients such as kaolin, sweet prickly pear, and willow bark extract to detoxify skin and purge clogged pores. \r\n$75 at Amazon.com\r\nExfoliators\r\nFacial cleansers are formulated to clean the face without drying it or producing oiliness and are used daily. Exfoliators on the other hand contain microbeads or small grains to scrub away dead skin cells and share a weekly usage rate. But the difference in comparison is a little deeper than that. Exfoliators aid in the natural shedding process of skin and stimulates healthier results. Blockage of acne. Smaller pores. Wrinkle reduction. The works.\r\nAcneFree Blackhead Removing Exfoliating Face Scrub\r\n\r\nJojoba and charcoal scrub and detoxify skin, but once the maximum dose of salicylic acid is added to the gently foaming formula, it really switches into high gear. The deep cleaning skin-friendly acid purges grit and grime to keep blackheads at bay by penetrating pores and dissolving dead skin cells. You can use it once a week or everyday, and if you really suffer from sebum blockage, you can even use it with one of the purifying masks on our list. \r\n$8.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSt. Ives Blackhead Clearing Face Scrub\r\n\r\nSt. Ives offers a stalwart blackhead remover that supersedes expectations with killer scrub action that unclogs pores and evens skin tone, at a fraction of a price mind you. Take in 100% natural exfoliants spearheaded by green tea extract and salicylic acid to moderately buff off facial muck, clear up acne and blackheads, and work against it all coming back.\r\n$5.09 at Amazon.com\r\nPore Strips\r\nThese cosmetic nose band-aids are either hit or miss depending on the severity of your condition. The adhesive binds onto any present debris and successfully removes it once the strip is ripped off. Men with sensitive skin should use precautions because strips can cause irritation. It should also be noted that whereas you will get some satisfying blackheads on those strips, a lot of what you will likely see are those sebaceous filaments we were talking about earlier.\r\nRELATED: Best Exfoliating Face Scrubs\r\nBioré Deep Cleansing Pore Strips\r\n\r\nBioré warrants the most credit for launching the product category. And its vast collection of pore strips continues to service blackhead-prone men. This version comes hypoallergenic and dermatologist-tested to ensure sanitary results. Minimize pores by extracting built-up dirt and oil with aid from the brand’s potent Deep Cleansing formula. Get creative by cutting the strip to tackle the brow and chin areas too.\r\n$17.99 for 4 at Amazon.com\r\nPeace Out Pore Treatment Strips\r\n\r\n\r\nPeace Out is one of the newest skin care brands on the block, boy boy oh boy did it make a splash. After selling through its Peace Out Acne patches, it only made sense to give the people more of what they wanted - the clearest skin possible. Unlike other strips in the game, these are meant to be worn overnight thanks to the hydrocolloid polymer technology behind the strip, which absorbs sebum, oil, and dead skin trapped within pores. Add to that dimethylaminoethanol (DMAE) and vitamin A to minimize and refine the appearance of pores and you have a pore strip you don’t have to rip to see results. \r\n$19 at PeaceOutSkinCare.com\r\nLivaClean Charcoal Pore Strips\r\n\r\n\r\nThese deep-cleansing charcoal strips are easy to apply and (relatively) painless to remove, but most importantly, they're effective. Just warm up your face with hot water or a warm face cloth to open up your pores, pat your skin dry and then apply the strip to the desired area; next, wait 15 minutes and remove the strip, and you'll see just how effective it was.\r\n$12.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTools\r\nAll those Neutrogena ads have you petrified of multi-step blackhead treatments. Your self-consciousness is saying, “Wait, if it takes more than one product or maybe the aid of grooming devices to fix my face, something must be seriously wrong.” Quit being so sensitive. If anything, cleansing kits dig deeper into the problem to cure it. \r\nForeo Luna 3 for Men\r\n\r\nA sonic-cleansing tool with multiple skincare purposes, the Luna 3 from Foreo is engineered to clear up your moneymaker with soft silicone bristles that sonically sweep away dirt, oil, and sweat. The brush head clears out practically all of the blackhead-causing grime from your pores without damaging any skin. Use it every day with a great salicylic acid or tea tree oil cleanser to really deliver some noticeable results. \r\n$164.50 at Foreo.com\r\nDermaflash Dermapore Ultrasonic Pore Extractor\r\n\r\nOh this is fun. If your everyday routine needs a boost or you have the desire to really see some gooey, greasy goodness come out of your pores, Dermaflash is your next favorite tool. But that’s not all this tingly tool does. It has a second setting to actually deliver all those expensive (or at least quality) products your slathering on your face even better than with your hands alone. The rounded spatula shape is perfect for fitting into tight spaces around your nose to deeply clean, refine pores, and the best part ... extracts blackheads. The water resistant, rechargeable device is made from a water-resistant silicone which means it’s safe for the shower and is recommended for use three times a week (but chances are, you’ll want to use it way more than that).\r\n$109 at Dermstore.com\r\nDr. Pimple Popper Comedone Extractor\r\n\r\nWarning: If you don’t follow directions with this tool, it can result in bruising and irritation. However, if you use it correctly, it is guaranteed to result in some satisfying blackhead bursting. Made famous by board-certified dermatologist Sandra Lee (A.K.A. Dr. Pimple Popper), this tool is intended for use only when other methods of blackhead extraction just won’t do. Apply a warm, wet towel to the area for 10 to 15 minutes to loosen all that gunk up (which will minimize the chances of damage to the skin) and apply even pressure to the tool at the site. We recommend watching some videos of the Dr. herself to see exactly how it’s done. \r\n$20 at DrPimplePopper.com\r\nTargeted Blackhead Treatment\r\nSometimes you gotta bring in the big guns, and by big guns, we mean some serious targeted treatments designed to kick that obnoxious sebaceous gland, clogged pore, blackhead, pimple - whatever the sebaceous situation might be. As the category suggests, these are more unique to your specific problem, so make sure you get the right treatment your particular issue. \r\nDifferin Gel\r\n\r\n\r\nOnce only available by prescription from a dermatologist, Differin gel is a retinoid gel now available right here on the internet. What does the OG doctor-approved acne treatment do? It starts by penetrating deep down into the skin's pores to clear out and prevent new breakouts. By stabilizing skin cell turnover, the active retinol ingredient adapalene balances out skin by getting rid of acne and keeping your natural oil under control, preventing the likelihood of future clogged pores. What’s more? This formula is Water based, oil, alcohol, and fragrance free. \r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMario Badescu Silver Powder\r\n\r\n\r\nA little dab'll do ya with this silver power from Mario Badescu. Seriously, one container can last you just about forever if you play your cards right. Intended for stubborn blackheads and clogged pores, this concoction of calcium carbonate, kaolin clay, and titanium dioxide are the holy trinity when it comes to oil absorption. Pro tip: the directions suggest dipping a moist cotton ball into the container. We recommend tapping out a little in the cap and adding a little water to make a paste. You’ll prevent waste - promise. \r\n$12 at Amazon.com\r\nToners\r\nFarmacy Deep Sweep\r\n\r\n\r\nFarmacy may not be on your pharmacy shelves just yet, but this little brand that could is killing it when it comes to skin health. (And by killing it, we don’t mean animals or the earth, since it’s vegan, cruelty-free, and comes in a fully recyclable glass jar.) This lightweight 2% beta hydroxy acid (BHA) watery toner is alcohol-free yet super effective in clearing skin and cleaning a clogged oil gland. The classic BHA salicylic acid cleans pores and draws out excess oil while moringa seed extract and moringa water purify skin by removing pollution-caused impurities. The final touch is papaya enzyme which gently exfoliates helping keep your skin so fresh and so green clean.\r\n$17 at Amazon.com\r\nYouth to the People Kombucha + 10% Power AHA Exfoliant\r\n\r\n\r\nIf 10% doesn’t seem like enough for your particular skin type (or if your blackheads drive quite a hard bargain) adding an extra drop to make it an even 11% might just do the trick. Made from 8% lactic acid and 3% glycolic acid, this overnight toning treatment is designed to chemically resurface to revitalize skin. Adding to the skin-friendly acid blend is kombucha black tea ferment pichia lysate (or tree bark) ferment which helps support the skin’s natural microbiome and defend against oxidative damage. Really, this tingly toner is a win-win for your skin-skin. Just be sure you don't layer on a strong retinoid or even and lighter retinol moisturizer on after. Too much acid could give your skin a really bad trip. Leave the chemical peel to the dermatologist.\r\n$42 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Shower Gels for Men\r\n\tDaily Skin Care Tips for Men\r\n\tGrooming Awards 2024: Best Face Care Products", "keywords": "Best, Products, Remove, Blackheads", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "105", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-products-to-remove-blackheads/askmen-lead-image-template-1722869239.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-products-to-remove-blackheads.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56728", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Diet-Friendly Snacks", "title_slug": "diet-friendly-snacks", "title_hash": "abc73d21d08861c462f2143904bac773", "summary": "Got the Munchies? These Low-Cal Treats Will Help You Enjoy a Guilt-Free Snack", "content": "When it comes to dieting, most people don't fail during their actual meal times, but in those frustrating in-between times, on the commute home from work or during a late-night Netflix binge, when hunger cravings strike and the only snacks on hand are cookies or chips or chocolate bars. Sure, you could tough it out with sheer willpower, but we have a finite amount of that, and on a long enough timeline, most of us crack.\r\nWe've got a better idea. Instead of resisting your food cravings every time, stock up on some healthy, high-protein, low-calorie snack options. Some of these can be fruits and vegetables, like strawberries and cucumbers and carrots, but in 2024, you can also find some sweet-tasting snacks that, when eaten in moderation, can easily fit into most diets while still helping to curb your cravings.\r\nRELATED: High-Protein Food Swaps\r\nBetter still, have a variety of these snacks on hand, allowing you to mix things up and keep your taste buds guessing. When you're deep into a diet and struggling to find spare calories, these healthy snacks can make all the difference, both for your diet and your sanity.\r\nFitButters Fruity PEBBLES™ Cashew Butter\r\nCashew butter has been used as a healthy PB alternative in fitness circles for a long time, but FitButters have managed to create a higher protein variant packed with flavor. Their latest collaboration with Post has resulted in a Fruity PEBBLES™-infused cereal butter that delivers 7 grams of protein per serving. Eat it straight off the spoon or smear it on a piece of high-protein bread or a rice cake for a delicious, macro-friendly dessert.\r\n$14.99 at FitButters.com \r\nQuaker Large Rice Cakes, Variety Pack\r\nOkay, full disclaimer: if you’re not dieting, rice cakes probably aren’t going to be very appealing to you, but if you’re deep into a diet and looking for something tasty and still low in calories, rice cakes are an absolute godsend. Quaker’s variety pack comes with three delicious flavor options (White Cheddar, Caramel and Apple Cinnamon), all ranging between 45 and 50 calories per serving, making them extremely easy to fit into even the most restrictive of diet plans.\r\n$17.78 at Amazon.com \r\nSkinnyPop Original Popcorn, Pack of 30\r\nPopcorn is a diet superfood. Alright, granted, you can’t slather it in butter or other movie theater-style toppings (that defeats the purpose, unfortunately), but if you doubt us, check out the macros on these SkinnyPop Original bags: just 100 calories in the entire package, with 2 grams of fiber and no sugar. Furthermore, there are no trans fats, no GMOs and no gluten in these bags, just delicious and filling, diet-friendly popcorn. We’re sold.\r\n$15.30 at Amazon.com \r\n365 by Whole Foods Market Organic Roasted Unsalted Sunflower Kernels\r\nSunflower seeds are a classic healthy snack, both filling and packed with nutrients, especially zinc, iron and vitamin E, and we especially love this organic, roasted and unsalted pack from 365 by Whole Foods for its low cost and high quality. You can nibble on these by hand, by all means, but they’re also a great way to add volume and crunch to a salad.\r\n$5.49 at Amazon.com \r\nQuaker Instant Oatmeal Express Protein Cups, Pack of 12\r\nOatmeal is a staple breakfast of fit people everywhere, but thanks to these single-serving cups from Quaker, you can enjoy it as a fast snack as well. They’re available in a wide variety of flavors, including Honey & Almonds, Cinnamon Pecan, Cranberry Almond, Apples & Cranberries and Strawberries & Cream, but our go-to is the Maple & Brown Sugar with 10 grams of protein and just 220 calories per serving.\r\n$19.49 at Amazon.com \r\nThink Jerky, Classic Beef Jerky, Pack of 8\r\nBeef jerky is a classic on-the-go healthy snack, and not just because it’s a better option than chocolate bars at your nearest gas station. Being pure meat, jerky is also high in protein, but Think Jerky offers a nitrate-free option that’s simultaneously low in calories and delicious. We love their Classic flavoring, but check out their Sweet Chipotle, Sesame Teriyaki, Ginger Orange and Sriracha Honey options as well.\r\n$43.99 at Amazon.com \r\nKodiak Cakes Bear Bites Graham Crackers, Variety Pack\r\nIf you’ve tried Kodiak Cakes before, it’s probably in their popular protein pancake offering, but if you want an easier on-the-go option that’s equally delicious, pick up their Bear Bites, made from 100% whole wheat flour. We’ve sampled all three of their flavor offerings (Honey, Chocolate & Cinnamon) and we can confirm that they’re all equally delicious, though you will have to exercise some portion control here as these are very easy to over-consume.\r\n$21.31 at Amazon.com \r\nSkinnyDipped Dark Chocolate Cocoa Almonds, Pack of 24\r\nChocolate lovers know two things with absolute certainty: the taste of chocolate is one of life’s great pleasures and can’t be sacrificed for any reason, and chocolate is extremely easy to overeat and a common cause of failure when it comes to dieting. Thankfully, you can opt for these chocolate-dipped almonds from SkinnyDipped. Each pack contains just 60 calories, with two grams of protein, which makes it easy to consume guilt-free while still satisfying your chocolate craving. \r\n$32.95 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n \r\n\r\n\r\nBest Electrolyte Drinks and PowdersBest Greens Powders to Supercharge Your HealthFitness Awards 2024: Best Supplements", "keywords": "Diet-Friendly, Snacks", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/diet-friendly-snacks/askmen-lead-image-template-1722877098.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/diet-friendly-snacks.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56727", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Moisturizers for Men", "title_slug": "best-moisturizers-for-men", "title_hash": "1ba7c97e56bbd18d13ec37fbda4f3d55", "summary": "Rain or shine, day or night, the most basic thing a man can do for his face — after washing it of course — is putting on a little moisturizer. However, it is literally the least used skin care product in most men’s grooming arsenals. Online data research site Statista estimates that only 39% of men actually use face lotion at all.\r\nGuys (or at least 61% of you) it’s time to get with the program. Face moisturizer has many benefits, but simply put, face moisturizers treat dry skin. (Yes, we’re citing the Mayo Clinic here just in case you don’t want to take our word for it). Additionally, they can prevent dry skin, protect sensitive skin, and improve overall skin texture.\r\nRELATED: Best Hair Removal Cream for Men\r\n\r\nWhat to Look for in a Moisturizer\r\n\r\nThere are many, many good face lotions out there for that facial skin of yours, but the best all contain ingredients that draw water into the skin and others that smooth the skin. These are called humectants and emollients respectively. Bas", "content": "Rain or shine, day or night, the most basic thing a man can do for his face — after washing it of course — is putting on a little moisturizer. However, it is literally the least used skin care product in most men’s grooming arsenals. Online data research site Statista estimates that only 39% of men actually use face lotion at all.\r\nGuys (or at least 61% of you) it’s time to get with the program. Face moisturizer has many benefits, but simply put, face moisturizers treat dry skin. (Yes, we’re citing the Mayo Clinic here just in case you don’t want to take our word for it). Additionally, they can prevent dry skin, protect sensitive skin, and improve overall skin texture.\r\nRELATED: Best Hair Removal Cream for Men\r\n\r\nWhat to Look for in a Moisturizer\r\n\r\nThere are many, many good face lotions out there for that facial skin of yours, but the best all contain ingredients that draw water into the skin and others that smooth the skin. These are called humectants and emollients respectively. Basically you can think of it like this: humectants increase moisture and emollients lock it in. Below are some ingredients to look out for.\r\nCommon Humectants in Lotion\r\n\r\n\tGlycerin. Also called Glycerol is colorless, odorless liquid and is generally obtained from plant and animal sources, although the movement to plant-only sources is being made by many brands (which we recommend).\r\n\tAloe vera. A plant with seemingly endless benefits to skin health.\r\n\tLactic acid. At low concentrations this can pull hydration to the outer skin layer. In higher concentrations, this is great for exfoliating away dead skin cells.\r\n\tHyaluronic acid. Found naturally in skin, it’s known capacity to attract and hold onto 1000 times its weight in moisture.\r\n\tSodium hyaluronate. This is the sodium salt of hyaluronic acid. It's abundant in young skin, but declines with age causing skin to look older.\r\n\r\nCommon Emollients in Lotion\r\n\r\n\tLanolin. A wax ester that is a by-product of wool production and therefore is not suitable for vegans.\r\n\tSqualene. This sebum-mimicking lipid was originally obtained primarily from shark liver oil, however the vast majority used today is plant-derived.\r\n\tShea butter. A waxy fat that's extracted from the nuts of the West African shea tree.\r\n\tCocoa butter. Fat from cocoa beans.\r\n\tCoconut, jojoba, olive, marula, and jojoba oil and other plant oils: Ancient skin care routines relied on oils, but oil options of today are far more complex than most people realize.\r\n\r\nNow that we have some basics down, here are some of our favorite face moisturizers for men right now. \r\n\r\nBest Face Moisturizers for Men's Skin\r\n\r\nUrsa Major Fortifying Gel Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nUrsa Major makes a solid selection of cruelty-free and vegan products that work, and work well. This lightweight, fast-absorbing, fortifying gel moisturizer is packed with potent natural active ingredients to calm, nourish, and hydrate skin — from normal skin, to dry skin, to oily skin, to combination skin — any skin type can use this lotion. The simple, serum-like formula is being loaded with aloe, willow bark, birch sap, and olive leaf.\r\n$40 at UrsaMajorVT.com\r\nBulldog Original Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nLoaded with good stuff for your face, at a price that’s great for your wallet, this vegan, cruelty-free face moisturizer for normal skin from eco-conscious Bulldog stands leaps and bounds above others in its price category. Aloe vera hydrates and soothes stressed skin cells, green tea fights free radicals, and camelina, rich in vitamin E and omega oils, helps improve skin tone and prevent further environmental damage. If that’s not enough, the entire Bulldog brand has moved to sugarcane plastic, instead of plastic made from fossil fuels, which is a renewable source that needs little more than natural rainfall to grow. This is saying a lot for a moisturizer that won’t even set you back $10.\r\n$9.99 at Amazon.com\r\nNeutrogena Hydro Boost Hydrating Gel-Cream\r\n\r\n\r\nNeutrogena has lang established itself as one of the leading skin care brands when it comes to what’s what in the drugstore aisle. Dermatologists have loved and endorsed it for years, and this lightweight, hard working normal skin face moisturizer is just one more reason why. Loaded with hyaluronic acid to plump up those fine lines, this is all bang for just a few bucks.\r\n$22.99 at Amazon.com\r\nKiehl's Ultra Facial Oil-Free Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nIt’s a fact that men’s skin is thicker and more oily than women's. So a lot of men find themselves wanting a facial moisturizer that helps to curb the pending oil slick that is in their future. Kiehl’s has long been satisfying that need, and it’s been doing it well. This particular formula uses micronized amino acids and glycoproteins to hydrate skin and minimize the appearance of pores, leaving your skin both hydrated and feeling fresh.\r\n$67 at Amazon.com\r\nDr. Jart+ Teatreement Moisturizer\r\n\r\nThis lightweight moisturizer is loaded with tea tree leaf extract — 81.5% to be exact — that works overtime to balance skin's pH and moisture levels without irritating and drying out surrounding unconcerned areas. The cooling sensation paired with the herbaceous scent of tea tree are the telltale signs it’s working but since the blend found in Dr. Jart’s Teatreement is a natural alternative to benzoyl peroxide, it works with your skin in harmony.\r\n$35 at Amazon.com\r\nEmbryolisse Filaderme Emulsion Face Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nEmbryolisse Filaderme Emulsion Face Moisturizer is a mattifying moisturizer that tones and balances your skin's oil glands as it delivers plenty of hydration without any grease. What makes it so good? A spare and all-natural ingredient list, including shea butter, aloe vera, beeswax and soy proteins, working in tandem to soothe, soften and nourish your skin, not only in the immediate aftermath of application but over the long term as well.\r\n$30 at Amazon.com\r\nRELATED: Best Hand Lotion for Men\r\nCetaphil Daily Hydrating Lotion for Face\r\n\r\n\r\nEven guys with super dry skin don't want to slather on thick, greasy lotion. For those guys, and all the others suffering from their own personal dryness, allow us to introduce you to Cetaphil, more specifically, its daily face lotion. This lightweight, oil-free moisturizer provides instant facial hydration and locks in moisture. Formulated with a double dose of hyaluronic acid and a combination of powerful moisturizing agents such as glycerin, sodium PCA, and hydroxyethyl urea, this powerful hydrator still manages to be gentle enough for even the most sensitive skin.\r\n$14.97 at Amazon.com\r\nCeraVe Daily Moisturizing Cream\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you suffer from incredibly sensitive skin, or have had a skin treatment that has compromised your skin’s barrier, CeraVe is about as good as it gets when it comes to keeping the most sensitive skin happy and irritation-free. This classic formulation is a lightweight, oil-free, moisturizer that provides instant hydration from tip-to-tail thanks to the generous helping of hyaluronic acid. It absorbs quickly, it’s fragrance-free, and dermatologist and clinically tested to be gentle, hypoallergenic, and non-comedogenic on just about every type of sensitive skin.\r\n$19.49 at Amazon.com\r\nBrickell Daily Essential Face Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nBrickell products are built to be used by anyone and everyone, no matter his age — including those with sensitive skin. That’s because Brickell leaves harsh irritants behind in favor of 100% natural, 81% organic, cruelty-free, vegan ingredients.Ingredients such as aloe, jojoba oil, vitamin E, hyaluronic acid, and green tea. Both simple and sophisticated, the face that is face moisturizer is also all natural — each and every ingredient is a natural ingredient — just makes it one of the best out there for men.\r\n$35 at Amazon.com\r\nMARLOWE No. 123 Facial Moisturizer\r\n\r\nAs big fans of Marlowe (it’s an AskMen Grooming Award winner after all) this face lotion delivers well beyond its affordable price tag. Formulated with a unique blend of passionflower fruit, green tea, and willow bark extracts, the fresh scent of this water-based doesn’t feel heavy, even on the oiliest of skin types. What’s more? It’s made in the U.S.A., paraben-, phthalate-, and cruelty-free — all important, impressive traits if you ask us.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nJack Black Double Duty Face Moisturizer with SPF\r\n\r\nFace moisturizer and SPF? Double duty indeed. This best selling facial moisturizer from Jack Black provides superior healing and hydrating benefits thanks to vitamin E-rich blue algae extract, vitamin C and A from sea parsley, plus rosemary and phospholipids to support the natural skin barrier. To further help keep men’s skin at peak performance, the broad spectrum SPF 20 sun protection fends off damaging UV rays. Not enough? Don’t worry, it still gets better. This gentle SPF is fragrance-free, paraben-free, colorant-free, cruelty-free, and vegan. You’re welcome.\r\n$32 at Amazon.com\r\nDr. Dennis Gross Ferulic + Retinol Anti-Aging Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nPlant derived ferulic acid (a potent vitamin C antioxidant) works to boost the effects of other antioxidants in skin cells while retinol (a vitamin A derivative and the gold standard in anti-aging) promotes skin cell turnover, smoothing out fine lines and wrinkles, reversing skin damage and dark spots (hello sun damage), and improving skin elasticity. In just the right balance, the two work together with the ECG Complex to further reduce the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles, and dark spots, all without the typical skin irritation that can come from retinol. Dr. Dennis Gross has formulated this retinol product, often to be put to work strictly at night, to be worn day and night, making it one the best all around anti-aging hydrators you can buy. Just always remember to wear your SPF when using a retinol product.\r\n$77 at Amazon.com\r\nPerricone MD Face Finishing & Firming Tinted Moisturizer with SPF\r\n\r\n\r\nWe have been using this for years, and until we find a better tinted moisturizer then we are just going to keep on singing its praises. What makes it stand out from any other tinted moisturizer for men that we’ve tried is that it is literally undetectable. The addition of titanium dioxide SPF sun protection renders this not only a tinted moisturizer worthy of Instagram, but also a broad spectrum SPF 30 worthy of sun exposure. Alpha lipoic acid, a powerful plant-based antioxidant, reduces the appearance of lines, wrinkles, and the look of enlarged pores over time. All that and it’s cruelty-free and 100% vegan.\r\n$76 at Amazon.com \r\nDrunk Elephant Lala Retro Whipped Cream Replenishing Moisturizer\r\n\r\n\r\nThis antioxidant-rich formula is on the more expensive side, but trust us when we say the results are commensurate with the expense. Drunk Elephant uses six different African oils together with a plant ceramide complex to reinforce the skin barrier, repairing damage from environmental stressors and making your delicate facial skin more resilient against the signs of aging. \r\n$53 at Amazon.com \r\nNow that you are well educated in Men's Facial Moisturizer 101, you have quite a few new skincare products to beef up your skin care routine. But, be patient. You may have to play around with different skincare products to see which antioxidants work for your skin type, which SPF face moisturizer works for your oily skin, or even if you just want to rub some jojoba oil on your fine lines and call it a day. Keep reading AskMen for more skincare recommendations. \r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Exfoliating Face Scrubs\r\n\tBest Skin Care Tips for Men\r\n\tBest Charcoal Face Masks for Men", "keywords": "Best, Moisturizers, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/skin/best-moisturizers-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1722955558.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/skin/best-moisturizers-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56726", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Teeth Whitening Products", "title_slug": "best-teeth-whitening-products", "title_hash": "c2d015b83b9928c0e785b6b54a886434", "summary": "The most subtle aspect of a charismatic, confident and handsome man is his smile. A good smile demonstrates not only good health and good hygiene but confidence and poise. And that means it's a good idea to do all you can to make your smile bright and visible.\r\nHere’s the thing: There’s no need to clean out your wallet just to clean up your smile. There are so many safe and effective teeth whitening kits, whitening strips, whitening gels, trays, and LED lights available that can attack both surface stains and deep-down stains to give you the smile you deserve, for far less than a professional whitening or bleaching treatment from the dentist.\r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Toothpastes for Men \r\n\r\n\r\nWhen you’re ready to start shopping for the best teeth whitening product for you, it’s a good idea to figure out what you’re most comfortable with, since there are seemingly endless options to choose from. Some are self-explanatory while others require following directions closely, but with the tec", "content": "The most subtle aspect of a charismatic, confident and handsome man is his smile. A good smile demonstrates not only good health and good hygiene but confidence and poise. And that means it's a good idea to do all you can to make your smile bright and visible.\r\nHere’s the thing: There’s no need to clean out your wallet just to clean up your smile. There are so many safe and effective teeth whitening kits, whitening strips, whitening gels, trays, and LED lights available that can attack both surface stains and deep-down stains to give you the smile you deserve, for far less than a professional whitening or bleaching treatment from the dentist.\r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Toothpastes for Men \r\n\r\n\r\nWhen you’re ready to start shopping for the best teeth whitening product for you, it’s a good idea to figure out what you’re most comfortable with, since there are seemingly endless options to choose from. Some are self-explanatory while others require following directions closely, but with the technology that’s available today, there’s something for just about everyone.\r\n\r\n\tFluoride Toothpaste: Those with sensitive teeth can rejoice because using a whitening toothpaste to provide superior at-home whitening using ingredients such as baking soda, activated charcoal, and even low doses of a traditional whitening agent such as hydrogen peroxide or carbamide peroxide. These can still provide quality surface stains removal, tooth whitening, and even strengthen gum tissue without causing sensitivity or damaging tooth enamel.\r\n\tWhitening Mouthwash: While some mouthwashes focus on getting rid of bad breath, others have special qualities that help fight stains as you’re swooshing around. Beyond that, some even whiten teeth while strengthening enamel.\r\n\tWhitening Strip: Products such as Crest 3D Whitestrips have come a long way since they were first introduced in 2001. The various brands of strips on the market today are the preferred method of most, and are pretty easy to apply. They simply mold to your teeth and give you a whiter smile.\r\n\tGel Trays: If you’ve ever had to wear a plastic retainer, whitening trays are pretty much the same thing — except slathered with a hydrogen peroxide bleaching gel that’s designed to whiten teeth, often quite aggressively.\r\n\tLED Lights: Mimicking the professional teeth whitening procedures the dentist uses, these whiten your teeth on a smaller scale. LED lights are paired with a gel-filled mouthpiece that accelerates the peroxide applied to your teeth\r\n\tWhitening Pens: Probably one of the more mess-free, stress-free options, whitening pens only require you to paint the gel on your teeth with a built-in brush for a few minutes a day. A good treatment to get sensitive teeth whiter or to use in between aggressive treatments, a whitening pen doesn't often yield results as dramatic as other methods.\r\n\r\nThe next time you decide to use teeth whiteners, bleaching kits, and whitening trays a try on those pearly whites, go for one of these products that have great reviews and impressive results. It won’t take long before you hear the words you’ve been waiting for: “Your teeth are so white. What are you doing?” We’re OK if you want to lie right through your teeth.\r\nCrest 3DWhitestrips Professional Effects\r\n\r\n\r\nCrest 3DWhitestrips, the OG teeth whitening strips, have always been a best-seller — and most knocked-off — for one very simple reason: They work. These strips are the first to gain the American Dental Association (ADA) seal of approval. That’s a big deal, since these bad boys are using potent hydrogen peroxide to lift stains from tooth enamel, a very sensitive job. By using them 30 minutes a day for two weeks, you’ll start seeing results in three days.\r\n$45.99 at Amazon.com\r\nGLO Science Teeth Whitening Device\r\n\r\n\r\nAnyone who loves technology will appreciate GLO Science. A lot of brands sell lights, but GLO Science uses light plus heat, a unique combo typically reserved for the dentist’s office. Founded by dentist Jonathan Levine, GLO Brilliant promises no tooth sensitivity. The kit includes a device that works with whitening gel to whiten teeth in just five days. It may be pricier than most at-home options, but it’s still cheaper than a professional teeth whitening from your dentist.\r\n$199 at Amazon.com\r\nColgate Optic White Renewal Toothpaste\r\n\r\n\r\nThere’s something special about the slightly warming feeling this intensely brightening toothpaste gives us when we’re using it — it feels like it’s really doing something. Maybe it’s that you can feel it has 3% hydrogen peroxide — more than any other brand — and a good dose of fluoride, which helps minimize sensitivity. Within a few brushings, you’ll notice stains fading, and you’ll develop a taste for glistening mint.\r\n$9.99 for 2 at Amazon.com\r\nCrest 3D White Luxe Glamorous White Mouthwash\r\n\r\n\r\nSometimes you don't really want to mess around with extra regimens or all out bleaching, but you still want whiter teeth. It’s all good. Crest offers an impressive, multi-functional rinse that keeps your grooming routine in check and brightens that smile. A burst of fresh mint tickles your tongue on contact, leaving a refreshing taste in the mouth to kickstart your make-out game.\r\n$25.96 for 2 at Amazon.com\r\nLumineux Teeth Whitening Strips\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you know that you have sensitive teeth or just want a peroxide-free formula that will still get the job done, pick up these Whitening Strips from Lumineux. They use a combination of coconut oil, dead sea salt, sage oil and lemon peel extract to naturally whiten your chompers without aggravating your delicate tooth nerves or disrupting your mouth's microbiome. \r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSmile Direct Club Bright On Whitening Pens\r\n\r\n\r\nWhitening products continue to grow in popularity (estimated to be a $7.4 billion industry in 2024, up $1.8 billion from $5.6 billion in 2016). Are you looking for a quick and easy way to do whitening touch-ups in between your more intense treatments? Whitening pens. These are a great way to fight off stains caused by red wine, coffee and tea because these potent pens fit in your gym bag, carry-on or even in your pocket, allowing for quick on-the-go whitening.\r\n$60 at Amazon.com\r\nBoka Whitening Toothpaste\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you want a whitening toothpaste rather than mouthwash or applicator strip, don't sleep on Boka's fluoride-free Whitening Toothpaste. It uses nano hydroxyapatite to remineralize your damaged teeth, repairing unsightly enamel damage and simultaneously brightening your teeth. If you have particularly sensitive teeth and fluoride-enriched toothpastes have caused you pain in the past, this is the model for you.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nColgate Optic White ComfortFit Teeth Whitening Kit\r\n\r\n\r\nUsing a combination of hydrogen peroxide and LED lights, Colgate's Optic White ComfortFit tooth whitening kit can remove 10 years of stains in just three days of use, leaving your teeth six shades whiter after ten days of application. This is an especially good travel kit, as the the LED whitening light can plug into an Android or iPhone smartphone to power up.\r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\r\nJust remember, if on your home tooth whitening journey towards that whiter smile, you come across severe sensitivity, gum irritation, or even possible tooth decay — even if this is your first time and you're just nervous about it — check in with your dentist. These products are labeled safe, but everyone is different, so just make sure you take care of yourself. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Fight Bad Breath\r\n\tAskMen Grooming Awards 2024\r\n\tBest Blackhead Removal Products", "keywords": "Best, Teeth, Whitening, Products", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-teeth-whitening-products/askmen-lead-image-template-1722965929.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-teeth-whitening-products.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:10:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56725", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Overcome Resentment In Marriage", "title_slug": "how-to-overcome-resentment-in-marriage", "title_hash": "51687b9a74a53587c1b5fd2db1f90ec2", "summary": "Resentment is a normal occurrence in marriage. If left unchecked, it can weaken the foundations. Discover how to resolve those feelings.\nThe post How to Overcome Resentment In Marriage appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Resentment is a normal occurrence in marriage. If left unchecked, it can weaken the foundations. Discover how to resolve those feelings.

The post How to Overcome Resentment In Marriage appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "How, Overcome, Resentment, Marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Resentment-In-Your-Marriage-Square.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/how-to-overcome-resentment-in-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 09:07:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56579", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Onlyfans Alternatives for Phone Sex in 2024", "title_slug": "onlyfans-alternatives-for-phone-sex-in-2024", "title_hash": "d5572f645fe4bf25672aeb425e156bc9", "summary": "As a horny adult male in my 40s who is searching for Onlyfans alternatives for phone sex, it can take a lot of time and attention to find the best phone sex platforms worthwhile. But take that time and pay attention anyway, and you’ll get sweet results like Arousr, where I effed live, dirty-talked, and moaned with multiple ladies in a dirty-talk room. So here are the best alternatives of Onlyfans for dirty talking online. Best Onlyfans Alternatives for Phone Sex Arousr – Top for Phone Sex Xpanded – For Custom Fantasies Jetdoll – For Erotica Phone Calls Phone Sex Parlour – For Live Dirty Talk Dirty Girl Phone Sex – For Amazing Connections Adent – For Lustful Sex Talk 1. Arousr – Top for Phone Sex Arousr offers the ultimate phone sex experience for anyone who is looking for an Onlyfans alternative. The site has a massive user base of kinky chat hosts who are interested in building one-on-one connections online. Along with phone sex, anyone can utilize its texting, and video call options", "content": "

As a horny adult male in my 40s who is searching for Onlyfans alternatives for phone sex, it can take a lot of time and attention to find the best phone sex platforms worthwhile. But take that time and pay attention anyway, and you’ll get sweet results like Arousr, where I effed live, dirty-talked, and moaned with multiple ladies in a dirty-talk room. So here are the best alternatives of Onlyfans for dirty talking online. Best Onlyfans Alternatives for Phone Sex Arousr – Top for Phone Sex Xpanded – For Custom Fantasies Jetdoll – For Erotica Phone Calls Phone Sex Parlour – For Live Dirty Talk Dirty Girl Phone Sex – For Amazing Connections Adent – For Lustful Sex Talk 1. Arousr – Top for Phone Sex Arousr offers the ultimate phone sex experience for anyone who is looking for an Onlyfans alternative. The site has a massive user base of kinky chat hosts who are interested in building one-on-one connections online. Along with phone sex, anyone can utilize its texting, and video call options to enjoy the maximum pleasure. Pros Phone sex with real women Build one-on-one connections Cons Some options are paid Trustpilot Score – 4.6/5 2. Xpanded […]

The post Onlyfans Alternatives for Phone Sex in 2024 appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Onlyfans, Alternatives, for, Phone, Sex, 2024", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "99", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/arousr0.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/onlyfans-alternatives-for-phone-sex/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 08:58:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "56432", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is the Heritage Foundation and Project 2025?", "title_slug": "what-is-the-heritage-foundation-and-project-2025", "title_hash": "df848d696393c26448d5a767a07f4daa", "summary": "The conservative think tank, which has a long history of steering GOP lawmaking, is influential because of its people, even more than the money.\nThe post What Is the Heritage Foundation and Project 2025? appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

By Zachary Albert

As the 2024 presidential election heats up, some people are hearing about the Heritage Foundation for the first time. The conservative think tank has a new, ambitious and controversial policy plan, Project 2025, which calls for an overhaul of U.S. public policy and government.

Project 2025 lays out many standard conservative ideas—like prioritizing energy production over environmental and climate-change concerns, and rejecting the idea of abortion as health care—along with some much more extreme ones, like criminalizing pornography. And it proposes to eliminate or restructure countless government agencies in line with conservative ideology.

While think tanks sometimes have the reputation of being stuffy academic institutions detached from day-to-day politics, Heritage is far different. By design, Heritage was founded to not only develop conservative policy ideas but also to advance them through direct political advocacy.

All think tanks are classified as 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations, which are prohibited from engaging in elections and can take part in only a small amount of political lobbying. But some, like Heritage, also form affiliated 501(c)(4) organizations that allow them to participate in campaigns and lobby extensively. Heritage is one of the sponsors of the Republican National Convention, which wrapped up in Milwaukee on July 18.

In research for my forthcoming book, Partisan Policy Networks, I’ve found that a growing share of think tanks are explicitly ideological, aligned with a single political party, and engaged in direct policy advocacy.

Still, Heritage stands out from all of the groups I investigated. It is much more conservative and more closely aligned with former President Donald Trump’s style of Republicanism. Heritage is also more aggressive in its advocacy for conservative ideas, pairing campaign spending with lobbying and large-scale grassroots mobilization.

Americans should expect to hear a lot more about its ideas, like those outlined in Project 2025, if Trump is reelected in November.

A new type of think tank

Two Republican congressional staffers, Ed Feulner and Paul Weyrich, formed Heritage in 1973 as an explicit rebuke to existing think tanks that they thought were either too liberal or too meek in advancing conservative ideas.

Feulner and Weyrich were particularly incensed about how a preeminent conservative think tank at the time, the American Enterprise Institute, or AEI, timed its release of a policy report in 1971 on whether to approve government funding for supersonic transport airplanes, which can fly faster than the speed of sound. AEI published its recommendations several days after Congress voted on the issue, because it “didn’t want to try to affect the outcome of the vote.”

Heritage turns this philosophy on its head. Rather than producing policy research for its own sake, Heritage conducts research, as one employee told me in 2018, “to build a case, to make the argument for policy change.”

For example, Heritage’s affiliated 501(c)(4) advocacy organization, Heritage Action for America, and Sentinel Action Fund, a Super PAC set up by Heritage Action in 2022, spend money to influence elections and lobby elected officials on issues as diverse as taxation, abortion, immigration, and the environment.

For this reason, some scholars and politicos call Heritage and other similar groups “do tanks” rather than “think tanks.”

Because Sentinel Action Fund is a Super PAC, it can raise and spend unlimited amounts of money to influence elections so long as they do not coordinate with candidate campaigns. Sentinel Action Fund then spent more than $13 million on voter outreach and advertising in the 2022 midterm elections. The fund’s self-described aim was to ensure GOP majorities in the House and Senate by aiding “key conservative fighters” in “tough general elections.” Sentinel Action Fund Vice President of Communications Carson Steelman said that in 2024, “the Sentinel Action Fund is totally legally separate from Heritage Action.”

People, not just money

But it’s the people, even more than money, that make Heritage influential, my research shows.

Heritage has directly worked to place former and current employees in congressional offices and the executive branch. More than 70 former and current Heritage staffers began working for the Trump administration by 2017—and four current Heritage staffers were members of Trump’s cabinet in 2021.

Heritage also says that it has more than 2 million local, volunteer activists and roughly 20,000 “Sentinel activists” who receive information from Heritage and take part in organized campaigns to push for conservative policies. My interviews show that activists who partner with Heritage take part in strategy calls, contact elected representatives with coordinated messages and amplify the organization’s messaging on social media.

In one example from 2021, Heritage Foundation developed a report on election fraud and voter integrity. Heritage Action for America, meanwhile, coordinated volunteers to deliver this report to Georgia legislators, had staffers meet with these legislators to advise them on passing new voting restrictions, and paid for television advertising urging citizens to support such laws.

Heritage, Trump, and Project 2025

All these efforts add up to a great deal of influence within the Republican Party. Heritage has played a key role in pushing Republicans toward more conservative policies since its creation.

When former President Ronald Reagan took office in 1981, for example, the Heritage Foundation had a ready-made conservative agenda for the new administration. By the end of his first term, Reagan executed more than 60 percent of the think tank’s policy recommendations.

When Trump took office in 2016, Heritage was again ready with friendly staffers and a handy policy agenda, called the Blueprint for Reorganization. By the end of Trump’s first year in office, Heritage boasted that he “had embraced 64 percent of our 321 recommendations,” among them key conservative priorities like tax reform, regulatory rollback and increased defense spending.

Project 2025 is similar to these other sets of recommendations for Republican politicians and presidential candidates. It outlines an agenda for a new president to adopt and a team of experts to help them.

But Project 2025 has taken on a different bent compared with earlier blueprints. Kevin Roberts, the president of Heritage, has described the group’s role as “institutionalizing Trumpism.”

This is probably why Project 2025, and Heritage, have received such an unusually large amount of attention in recent months. The fact that a wonky, 900-page policy memo has been the focus of countless news articles and hundreds of Biden campaign tweets, especially before the 2024 election, is a telling indication of its expected influence.

For its part, the Trump campaign has maintained distance from the project, as Trump himself has implausibly claimed that he knows nothing about it.

He is likely keeping his distance from Project 2025 because parts of the agenda are far too extreme for all but the most die-hard conservative activists. But even if Trump isn’t campaigning on these policies, Americans should expect Heritage ideas to matter greatly in a second Trump administration. The Heritage Foundation is built for this goal.
\n $\"The$

The post What Is the Heritage Foundation and Project 2025? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, the, Heritage, Foundation, and, Project, 2025", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/counter.theconversation.com/content/229167/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/06/what-is-the-heritage-foundation-and-project-2025/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-07 08:35:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55931", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Privileged Teenagers: The Art of Not Raising a Brat…", "title_slug": "privileged-teenagers-the-art-of-not-raising-a-brat", "title_hash": "c783a40ae9879b4bc7c2ed22fe5bd3bf", "summary": "We all want our kids to have more than we had growing up. And with access to social media they can see what other kids appear to have which continues […]\nThe post Privileged Teenagers: The Art of Not Raising a Brat… appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

We all want our kids to have more than we had growing up. And with access to social media they can see what other kids appear to have which continues […]

The post Privileged Teenagers: The Art of Not Raising a Brat… appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Privileged, Teenagers:, The, Art, Not, Raising, Brat…", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/GettyImages-1461406733-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/privileged-teens-raising-brat/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 12:08:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55930", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: My Best Friends Are Selfish & I Am Tired Of Our Relationship", "title_slug": "true-life-story-my-best-friends-are-selfish-i-am-tired-of-our-relationship", "title_hash": "a81ebc17460018abab6f1e161d3cecef", "summary": "True Life Story: My Best Friends Are Selfish & I Am Tired Of Our Relationship Dear Lively Stones, My story is not really about romantic relationship but its about my relationship with my two best friends. My friends and I have been best friends right from University and that is over 25 years. We are […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: My Best Friends Are Selfish & I Am Tired Of Our Relationship

Dear Lively Stones,

My story is not really about romantic relationship but its about my relationship with my two best friends. My friends and I have been best friends right from University and that is over 25 years. We are all in our forties but I am the only one that is still unmarried. The reason for me being single is story for another day, I have dated and been engaged more than I can count, but have never made it to the altar. I think I have made up my mind that its up to God now. If he wants me to marry, let Him do it but if not….I will be fine.

Now, my issue is with my two best friends. One of them follows Lively Stones and I hope she reads this. I love these ladies with all my heart and I can take a bullet for them or any member of their family but I think the friendship is a selfish one. I know that I may have cause it because, I have always been that friend that both of them can rely on. From family to boyfriend issues, to health challenges to financial issues, for most of the 25 years we have been friends, I am usually the one they both turn to.

You can say I am the strongest of the 3 of us. I am always the one to go to for advise or comfort or for any decision. And I accepted that gladly cos I love these girls and I think my personality is that of leadership by birth. But over the years, I have realized that my friends do not love me as much as I love them and it hurts. I have realized that I even take their children as mine, their family members as mine, I celebrate their birthdays, I send gifts, I call them everyday, I visit them more than they visit me.

At first, I thought maybe because they are married, and I am not, so they are busier than me, so I sacrifice and excuse their thoughtlessness. But as years went by, I got tired. I even mentioned it to them that I think I am not being treated right and they both took it for granted that I am not being serious. Last year, I decided to try something. I did not call or visit either of them and they did not call me or visit me for almost 7 months.

I had to break the silence by sending birthday messages which they replied: na wa o…you don forget us o. I was like: ha….I was testing both of you and you both betrayed me. They apologized and promised to be better but its been another six months, they still haven’t changed. In six months, I have gotten 2 texts from one of them and only one like from one of them on my IG picture. You see, I am in my late forties, its too late for me to start making new friends. Especially cos most people my age are married and sometimes very judgy. I prefer to stay on my own. But being on my own is getting so lonely and painful.

I am very upset with my friends and decided to vent here. Why do I have such selfish friends? For the first time, I feel its because I am not married that they are treating me this way. Am I wrong? But I have never treated them with less respects. I am friendly with their spouses and god mother to their kids for God’s sake. They still call me when they have issues in their marriages or issues with work or their inlaws or issues with life generally. I mean, they have even sent their kids to spend short holidays with me in the past….why cant they see that I also need love and attention?

So there is a saying that if people don’t have the fear of losing you, then you too shouldn’t fear loosing them. But sincerely…I am alone…with these 2 selfish bitches that I love so much yet they don’t love me as much. What am I going to do about this? Should I confine myself to myself for the rest of my life? I know if I was married, maybe I wouldn’t miss them so much. So maybe it’s the curse of being single? I am a good person. I earn very good money and have a car and a house…I take care of my family….but am not close to my family cos it’s a polygamous setting.

More From Lively Stones

I am tired of waiting for my friends to check on me first….tired of telling them that I want them to see me as human and not some super woman who does not have feelings. I have feelings. I feel like cracking most times. I feel like throwing something right now…I feel like screaming on top of my lungs for my friends to see me….I am not a needy person but I just want to be cared for ….for once…by these two lovely ladies whom I love like my own sisters but they have relegated me to their problem solver only.

I am tired of being strong for everyone else. I am weak and I need advise on what to do. Please help my mental state of mind. I think I may be slightly depressed or am I crazy or what is going on with me?

Anonymous

Comment & Share This Story (Kindly Keep Comments tasteful)

", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Best, Friends, Are, Selfish, Tired, Our, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "87", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/best-friends.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-my-best-friends-are-selfish-i-am-tired-of-our-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 12:08:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55929", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Live Story: I Am A Straight Married Man Yet I Am Struggling With Temptation", "title_slug": "true-live-story-i-am-a-straight-married-man-yet-i-am-struggling-with-temptation", "title_hash": "018ec33440a8104c74504de79e00e235", "summary": "True Live Story: I Am A Straight Married Man Yet I Am Struggling With Temptation Hello Lively Stones, I read your stories and I love how you guys give good advise. Please help me, I think I am loosing control with my struggling with temptation and I have no one to turn to for help […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Live Story: I Am A Straight Married Man Yet I Am Struggling With Temptation

Hello Lively Stones,

I read your stories and I love how you guys give good advise. Please help me, I think I am loosing control with my struggling with temptation and I have no one to turn to for help because I am ashamed of what I am about to tell you. My wife and I are happily married with a four year old son. We live abroad and we are happy until her younger brother came to live with us, last year. This guy came for his studies and naturally as his family, he moved in with my wife and I. He was very happy to have relocated and before long, he started getting carried away with abroad lifestyle.

Taye, my wife’s brother is a very handsome guy and its very easy for ladies to be attracted to him. After a while, he got accommodation in the campus and he would only come home like once in a month. After several months, one day he came and we were teasing him if he has gotten a girlfriend yet but he said he is only into his studies for now. But few hours later, I mistakenly walked into him watching gay p@rn in his room. I was stunned and he was shocked that I saw him.

Later, he tried to explain that it was just for fun, nothing to it. I was like, in this country, we don’t judge peoples sexual orientation, so its not my business but he should be careful cos its not something our culture would welcome. He said he understood and we both left it at that. I mean, I felt it was not my place to talk to this guy if he was into all that kind of thing. But that was a mistake. That gave this guy confidence to confide in me that he likes men and women. He would be telling me how it’s a natural feeling and should not be fought.

Many times, I just listened and condoned his actions without his sister, my wife knowing. A few months later, he was leaving for campus after staying with us for a brief time. My wife and I were supposed to give him a ride back to his campus but she could not make it. I had to go alone with him. I noticed throughout the ride back, my wife’s brother kept touching me and flirting with me. I told him to stop cos I was not going to allow him try any sh!t with me. He apologized and said he has been fighting his feelings for me and since I understand him without judging, he wants to show me how grateful he is for my understanding and standing by him. I told him no to worry.

When we got to his campus and his room…we moved his things inside. After a while, he got some beers for us to drink and chill. After a while, he sat close to me and began to fondle me….I said no but he kept saying allow me…just allow me. OMG….I should have run away from him that moment but for some reason, I stayed put. The feeling felt dangerous but exciting. Taye went on and gave me a hand job and I wanted to stay stop but I did not. I was wrong of me and I stayed there. Taye kept saying things like, relax….we are not doing anything…we are just experimenting.

A few minutes later, my d#ck was inside Taye: we were experimenting. One thing I know is: I am not gay but after that day, I have not stopped thinking about that experience with Taye. I was mad at myself all through the ride back. I blocked Taye and have not spoken to him ever since. I have not been myself. I feel so guilty yet I think about the whole thing all the time…I get hard thinking about it but I h@te myself just for thinking about it. I have tried focusing on having marathon s3x with my wife so I can forget about Taye but I can’t.

Its even better that I cheat on my wife with a woman than a man….and now, not just any man….her own brother. Taye has been trying to use my wife’s phone to reach me since I blocked him. I just say a quick hello and rush off. My wife has asked if I am upset with the brother because she is surprised the brother cannot call me anymore on my phone. I told her no but that my phone is having an issue. I know she does not believe me…she suspects something is wrong. Few days ago, she told me Taye is not going to naija for summer but coming to our house. I vehemently said no and my wife is shocked. She is wondering my sudden behaviour towards her brother. I told her I do not have to explain anything to her but I do not want her brother anymore in our house. She is more confused. She has been asking Taye what he did to me and the guy has said nothing to her.

My wife told me yesterday that if I cannot tell her what her brother did to me, then he is coming to spend summer with us and there is nothing I can do about it. Please I need your advise…do I tell my wife her brother is gay and that is why I do not want him with us? If I tell her….what if she confronts him and he tells her that we both f#cked? Or should I keep quiet and let the guy come around? If he does, I do not trust that something will not happen between us. I already secretly want him to come cos I want to f#ck him again….I have been fighting these evil feelings in me….

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I know I am straight….I have never wanted to be bi or gay….the thought of it never appeals to me….its just this my wife’s brother…I made a mistake with him and I feel like if he comes around me again…I will make the same mistake because he is very manipulating…he made me feel like it was just experimenting…I convinced myself it was…I will never do that again…I do not want to…but if I am being honest, I could be easily tempted if Taye shows up in my house again.

One mind is telling me I can fight the feeling if I can get help or maybe therapy…is that possible? That is why I am putting this out….can I really find a way to fight this thing and still be around Taye? I can’t run from him for the rest of my life…my wife and her family all think Taye looks up to me but they have no idea that I have failed. Taye is now a torn in my flesh. I need help and advise. What do I do?

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", "keywords": "True, Live, Story:, Straight, Married, Man, Yet, Struggling, With, Temptation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "99", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/struggling-with-temptation.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-live-story-i-am-a-straight-married-man-yet-i-am-struggling-with-temptation/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 12:08:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55785", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Airline Becomes World’s First to Let Women Skip Sitting Next to Men on Flights", "title_slug": "airline-becomes-worlds-first-to-let-women-skip-sitting-next-to-men-on-flights", "title_hash": "b4aa5c0a88bfc4085341c8f3bec4313f", "summary": "A budget airline in India has made history by becoming the first in the world to offer female…", "content": "A budget airline in India has made history by becoming the first in the world to offer female…", "keywords": "Airline, Becomes, World’s, First, Let, Women, Skip, Sitting, Next, Men, Flights", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "105", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/im.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/airline-becomes-worlds-first-to-let-women-skip-sitting-next-to-men-on-flights/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55784", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Take Sexy Photos of Your Partner", "title_slug": "how-to-take-sexy-photos-of-your-partner", "title_hash": "df0e4bf25f4bfb9d429a00a29dae3f23", "summary": "It’s no secret that men are visual creatures — a quick glance at an erotic photo can be all it really takes to get turned on. \r\nAnd not that there’s anything wrong with looking at porn when you’re in a relationship — as long as you’re both on the same page, that is — wouldn’t it be nice if those visuals happened to feature your partner rather than a stranger? \r\nThere’s something inherently thrilling about capturing a sexy photo of your partner, because it offers a glimpse back in time to an intimate experience you shared. One look and you’re transported back to that moment — what they smelled like, what their skin felt like, and what they whispered in your ear right before you finished.\r\n“Taking sexy photos of your partner can be really fun,” says Odi Caspi, a professional photographer and founder of Photographer For Hire. \r\n“It can boost the mood, inject another level of adventure with role play, and also be special to look at in the future either together or alone!” he adds. \r\nSadly,", "content": "It’s no secret that men are visual creatures — a quick glance at an erotic photo can be all it really takes to get turned on. \r\nAnd not that there’s anything wrong with looking at porn when you’re in a relationship — as long as you’re both on the same page, that is — wouldn’t it be nice if those visuals happened to feature your partner rather than a stranger? \r\nThere’s something inherently thrilling about capturing a sexy photo of your partner, because it offers a glimpse back in time to an intimate experience you shared. One look and you’re transported back to that moment — what they smelled like, what their skin felt like, and what they whispered in your ear right before you finished.\r\n“Taking sexy photos of your partner can be really fun,” says Odi Caspi, a professional photographer and founder of Photographer For Hire. \r\n“It can boost the mood, inject another level of adventure with role play, and also be special to look at in the future either together or alone!” he adds. \r\nSadly, The National Institute of Health estimates that up to 40% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies. So if you’re dating a woman, that can factor into the equation. The good news? Taking sexy photos of your partner — with their permission, of course — could have some added benefits for them, too. \r\nIn looking back at those images, they’ll be able to see themselves through your eyes as the photographer, which could offer a much-needed self-esteem boost.\r\n“A lot of women are really critical of their physical appearance, and taking a photo of someone is essentially making someone into a work of art,” explains Suzannah Weiss, AASECT-certified sex educator, resident sexologist for Biird and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject.\r\nAll that said, sexy photos are only sexy if the person being photographed feels comfortable, safe, and free to express themselves and have fun. So, with that in mind, here are some considerations to make for a successful shoot.\r\nRELATED: How to Make a Home-Made Sex Tape With Your Phone \r\n1. Make Sure They’re Into the Idea\r\nBefore you even think about whipping out a camera, step one is always to make sure your partner is into the idea of having their photo taken. As with any intimate act, you shouldn’t have to talk them into it. You want enthusiastic consent , with no coercion involved of any kind.\r\n“Sadly, we live in a digital world where images can be used in a malicious manner, so both parties need to agree beforehand not only that it’s okay to take the photographs but also on where they will be stored and shared,” Caspi tells AskMen. “It is never acceptable to take photographs or footage of intimate moments without consent, so opting for a hidden camera or a photoshoot that your partner isn’t aware of is wrong on multiple levels. They may feel violated, and deceived and could even take legal action against you.”\r\nRELATED: Why Women & Men Feel Differently About Nudes, Explained\r\nBringing it up in the heat of the moment — as in, when you’re already tearing each other’s clothes off — can feel a little too vulnerable for both you and your partner and add pressure to the situation. \r\nSo, consider asking them how they’d feel about getting their photo taken during a time when you’re hanging outside the bedroom. If they seem open to the idea, you’ll want to talk specifics. Would they rather be photographed with lingerie, or are they excited about the prospect of being fully naked? If you take the photos on your phone, will you print them at home and then immediately delete them off your device? \r\nTrust us: it’s worth discussing all these types of details in depth to avoid any potential misunderstandings. Plus. the more you talk these aspects through, the more comfortable your partner is bound to feel during their sexy photo shoot — which will translate to even hotter images.\r\n“Conversations around preferences, desires, and consent can help to make them empowering instead of violating or triggering,” explains Weiss.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner, Explained\r\n2. Consider Using an Old-School Instant Camera\r\nWhile it may be tempting to rely on your trusty smartphone camera for this shoot, Nash Wright, a professional dating coach, advises otherwise. If you have access to one, he says, consider using an analog option like a Polaroid or Fuji instant camera.\r\nFor one, the images are available to look at almost immediately — meaning you both get instant gratification. \r\nNot only that, but since there are no digital copies of the photos, your partner doesn’t have to worry about the photos being shared, hacked, or leaked in any way.\r\nPlus, there’s something undeniably sexy about images captured on film — because they’re lower-resolution, they’re a bit more forgiving and have an innately more artistic vibe.\r\nRELATED: Sexy Alternatives to the Dick Pic\r\n5. Have a Plan\r\nIt’s totally fine to improvise when taking these photos, but according to Caspi, chatting about shoot ahead of time can help you both to feel a bit more comfortable as well as increase the odds that your partner is pleased with the outcome.\r\n“If you are aiming for a higher standard of photography when taking intimate pictures of your partner make sure you chat about the plan beforehand to an extent,” says Caspi.\r\nCaspi recommends talking about what clothing, if any, will be worn, what room you’ll shoot in and what time of day, and whether they’d prefer to sit, stand, or lay down. \r\n“It’s also important to discuss what level of ‘sexy’ they want you to capture — whether it is tasteful and alluring or more explicit,” Caspi adds.\r\n6. Be Mindful of the Lighting\r\nAsk any pro photographer about the most important element of a quality shoot and they’ll say it’s the lighting. That’s because the lighting has a heavy impact not only on the appearance of the subjects — the way their skin looks, how much detail is visible, and more — but also on the overall mood and vibe of the photos.\r\n“I’d always recommend switching off any standard overhead ceiling lights, as these tend to cast shadows that are less than flattering,” says Caspi. “Daylight is often a very workable light to use.”\r\nIf you’re using natural lighting, Caspi strongly suggests timing the shoot with golden hour — which happens right before sunset — for a warm ambiance.\r\n“If taking the photos at night you will need to add more lighting than you may think — if the room has low light the images may end up grainy and unsharp,” he explains. “The lighting levels will need to be higher than if you were aiming for a cozy dark room or else your camera will struggle to pick up any detail.”\r\nLastly, Caspi advises using a tripod so you can have a longer exposure without the camera shake you would get by holding the camera in your hands.\r\n5. Give Your Partner the Control\r\nIf you’re going to use a phone camera, one way to make an at-home photoshoot more empowering, Wright says, is to use your partner’s phone to take them — that way, they can have full control over which images are kept or deleted, and which ones they share with you.\r\n“This gives her a lot of choice and agency,” he explains.\r\nCaspi suggests having your partner choose the setting and the music for the shoot, too. This gives them even more control over the experience and may help to calm their nerves.\r\nRELATED: How to Ask Her to Send Nudes\r\nYou can even hand your partner the camera at any point and encourage them to snap a few selfies so they can take charge of the aesthetic and control the angle.\r\n6. Be Your Partner’s Hype Man\r\nWhile taking erotic photos of your partner, you have one job: make them feel like the sexiest person in the world.\r\n“Throughout the shoot, give her lots of praise,” says Karen Vaisman, founder of Karen Vaisman Photography. “Shooting intimate photos puts her in a vulnerable position, especially if it's the first time she's being photographed like this. Complimenting her will help her feel more confident and at ease.”\r\nIt doesn’t take much — a simple, “You’re so sexy,” or “You look amazing — I can’t wait for you to see what I see” can go a long way.\r\n“Afterward, be sensitive to the fact that it’s often really hard for people to see photos of themselves,” says Weiss. “If she feels self-conscious or doesn’t like how she looks, remind her that a photo is an artistic rendering of someone and will never exactly match how they look in person.”\r\nYou can also use this as a learning opportunity. Ask her if there’s anything you could have done differently — say, with the camera angle or the lighting — to make her feel more sexy.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Take a Dick Pic, ExplainedShould You Watch Porn With Your Partner?A Couples Boudoir Shoot Is a Super Awesome Romantic Gift", "keywords": "How, Take, Sexy, Photos, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/dating/dating_advice/how-to-take-sexy-photos-of-your-girlfriend-1106386-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-take-sexy-photos-of-your-girlfriend.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55782", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Bald Facts on Hair Loss", "title_slug": "the-bald-facts-on-hair-loss", "title_hash": "d022f0e62414a6babba6702f2ac55b76", "summary": "It's National Hair Loss Awareness Month. Here's What You Should Know About Going Bald", "content": "The Story\r\nMen and women are both terrified of hair loss, but too few people understand the underlying causes. Part of what’s so scary about hair loss is that it seems so entirely out of our hands, a kind of curse of genetics, but that’s not entirely true.\r\nYes, genetics definitely play a role in causing hair loss, but lots of other lifestyle factors can come into play, even for people who aren’t genetically predisposed to hair loss. And if you know what those factors are, and take them into account, you can give your hair a better chance at sticking around, even if you are genetically predisposed to hair loss. Sounds like a good deal, right?\r\nRELATED: Why Men Go Bald and What to Do About It\r\nWell, as it so happens, August is National Hair Loss Awareness Month, and the good folks over at LaserCap, makers of one of the most promising, FDA-cleared hair loss treatments on the market, have put together a handy infographic explaining all of the possible causes of hair loss for both men and women, as well as how prevalent it is and what kind of emotional toll hair hair loss can inflict on people. \r\nThe Snapshot\r\n\r\nFirst off, a round of applause for LaserCap, because rarely is so much truth delivered in such a concise format. Notice that they acknowledge the huge role that genetics play (the \"leading culprit\" of hair loss, after all), while still showing all of the contributing factors. Yes, indeed, your regular after-work cigarette and sugar-rich diet aren't doing your follicles any good, and you might want to consider cutting them out. And exercise has all kinds of benefits beyond just improving the blood flow in your scalp, so why not establish a regular exercise regime?\r\nAnd if you want to be proactive rather than reactive, consider getting a prescription for one of the two FDA-approved hair loss treatments, minoxidil or finasteride, or making a less-systemic commitment by trying out the LaserCap to harness the powers of low-level light therapy.\r\nThe Lesson\r\nHair loss causes both men and women a lot of anxiety, and for perfectly understandable reasons. After all, the way we look is intimately tied to our self-esteem, and hair forms a big part of our identity from an early age. But you don''t have to despair over hair loss. First, you can take active steps to strengthen your hair follicles and avoid all the foods and habits that harm them. Next, you can use your anxiety over hair loss as a motivating factor to make other aspects of your life better, including your diet and exercise habits. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Products for Thinning HairTips to Prevent Hair LossBest Shampoos for Men", "keywords": "The, Bald, Facts, Hair, Loss", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "160", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/health/the-bald-facts-on-hair-loss/askmen-lead-image-template-1722546634.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/health/the-bald-facts-on-hair-loss.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55783", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Women Find Sexy", "title_slug": "what-women-find-sexy", "title_hash": "39bd0dd0c8eda8a3d541c13077187728", "summary": "Most men probably have a good idea of the stereotypical things that women supposedly find sexy. Images of men sliding out from underneath cars with their pecs glistening with grease tend to spring to mind, for instance.Plenty of movies and men’s magazines trade on the idea that the hyper-masculine “manly man” is what makes women swoon, but when you ask actual women what they find attractive, you'll find a lot of unlikely, cute or straight-up weird answers that veer away from what’s traditionally considered sexy in a man.\r\nRELATED: Myths About Women & What They Want What women like in men is as varied and individual as each of us is, of course, but certain themes tend to emerge when women are given the mic to discuss what we’re really into. So without further ado, here are 13 things you may not realize that women find super hot in men:\r\n1. When You Pay Attention to How You're Dressed\r\nThere’s a stale trope that (straight) men can throw on any old thing that’s vaguely clean and be good t", "content": "Most men probably have a good idea of the stereotypical things that women supposedly find sexy. Images of men sliding out from underneath cars with their pecs glistening with grease tend to spring to mind, for instance.Plenty of movies and men’s magazines trade on the idea that the hyper-masculine “manly man” is what makes women swoon, but when you ask actual women what they find attractive, you'll find a lot of unlikely, cute or straight-up weird answers that veer away from what’s traditionally considered sexy in a man.\r\nRELATED: Myths About Women & What They Want What women like in men is as varied and individual as each of us is, of course, but certain themes tend to emerge when women are given the mic to discuss what we’re really into. So without further ado, here are 13 things you may not realize that women find super hot in men:\r\n1. When You Pay Attention to How You're Dressed\r\nThere’s a stale trope that (straight) men can throw on any old thing that’s vaguely clean and be good to go; that it’s an affront to a man’s masculinity to care too much about how he looks. \r\nHowever, it’s clear that tons of women are turned on by the very opposite: Men who know their exact suit measurements, meticulously launder their white T-shirts, and wear clothes, like shorts that come above the knee and very tight jeans, that \"manly men\" might shy away from. \r\nRELATED: What to Wear on a First Date \r\nWomen are firm on this one: Men who pay careful attention to their presentation are devastatingly sexy.\r\n2. When You Say \"You're Right\" Without a Qualifier\r\nEveryone appreciates having a discussion with someone who can concede a point without getting babyish and defensive about it, and women are no exception. \r\nThere’s no turnoff like a man who insists on wringing the last word out of every conversation, and the opposite is also true: Men who are graceful conversationalists are in high demand amongst women.\r\nRELATED: What to Avoid Doing in an Argument With Your Partner\r\n3. When You're Good in the Kitchen\r\nPeople who don’t appreciate being cooked a nice meal are few and far between, but the frequency with which women report cooking as a turn on has certainly been underreported. \r\nSome women like a man who can whip up a fancy signature dish, and others are happy with smaller gestures, like a simple breakfast or great cup of coffee. One thing’s for sure, though: An apron is a good look on you.\r\nRELATED: 5 Types of Men Women Find Attractive\r\n4. When You Can Acknowledge Other Good-Looking Guys\r\nThis one comes up surprisingly often when you ask women what qualities they find attractive in men: Men who can talk about other men being attractive without squirming like a sunburnt worm about it. \r\nThere’s something firmly appealing about a man who is secure enough in who he is that he can recognize when another man has it going on (not to mention tolerant enough to realize that “Ughhh, that’s gay!” isn’t an insult or clever retort).\r\nRELATED: The Different Types of Attraction, Explained\r\n5. When You Genuinely Love Animals\r\nSpeaking to an animal in a funny voice (“Nyawww, you’re a widdle puppy!”) may strike you as a bizarre thing for women to find sexy, but we’re just reporting the facts here, and men who are goofy and gentle with pets immediately increase their attractiveness levels.\r\n6. When You Grab a Condom (Without Being Asked)\r\nTHE WOMEN HAVE SPOKEN: Men who take safer sex seriously without whining, pressuring or dragging their heels are overwhelmingly sexy. It means you're not trying to put the responsibility for the sexual health of everyone in the relationship on her. \r\n7. When You Dance (Even If It's Kinda Goofy)\r\nA lot of men are scared to dance because they know they’re no Usher or JT, but men who can be playful and light-hearted without taking themselves too seriously consistently find favor with women. \r\nDon’t be a stranger to the dance floor even if you don’t rate your own moves. The more you try it, the more comfortable you’ll get out there \r\nRELATED: Proven Ways to Improve Your Attractiveness\r\n8. When You Read. (Seriously. Read.)\r\nWhat’s not to love about a man with a healthy intellectual curiosity and interest in the inner lives of other people? Nothing. \r\n9. When You Smell Nice\r\nThis is an easy one to check off and it’s being passed up by too many men. Guys: It’s not good enough to merely smell not-bad, and there are plenty of masculine scents for you to play with. \r\nRELATED: The Grooming Products That Make Men Attractive, According to Women\r\nFind a cologne that works on you and make it your signature scent — and watch as women start sidling closer.\r\n10. When You Brush or Play With Her Hair\r\nThis one shouldn’t come as a surprise to you if you happen to have long hair, or even if you’re just a human being with nerve endings in your scalp. \r\nRELATED: Understanding the Role of Touch in Attraction\r\nHaving your hair touched feels so good! Having it brushed or played with is like an intimate, at-home version of a head massage, and plenty of women find that irresistible. (Just don’t try this unless you already know, for sure, that she’s into you. If she isn’t, touching her hair will creep her out big-time.) \r\n11. When You Really Listen\r\nIt’s not surprising that women want their opinions and views to be heard, and the idea that men don’t listen seems to bear out in real life frustratingly often. \r\nRELATED: One Simple Dating Hack That’ll Make You Way Sexier\r\nAfter asking women what they find attractive, a clear turn-on emerges that outstrips almost all others: being genuinely listened to. It’s a shame that something so basically decent is fawned over by women, but generations of rude men have made it easy for you to stand out here. \r\nLetting us finish our sentences? Making a sincerely thoughtful face when we explain our point of view? We’re positively craving it. Bonus points if you listen so intently you do the chin-hands.\r\n12. When You Respect People Who Are Serving You\r\nThe appeal of this one hopefully goes without saying: It bodes well for you as a person if you treat those who serve you kindly, and that’s attractive. \r\nRELATED: 9 Out of 10 Women Say This One Trait is Sexiest, Says Study\r\nIf you’re pushy, rude and demanding to people you encounter in shops and restaurants, what’s to stop you from acting like that towards her? Conversely, if you’re courteous, kind and thoughtful towards people you don’t owe anything, that bodes well for your ability to treat her the same way. Thus, it becomes a seriously sexy trait. \r\n13. When You Make the Bed\r\nCompetence in the domestic sphere is an almost unanimously attractive quality in men, and women report finding lots of different things sexy in this domain, such as the ability to fold laundry well, keep a bathroom spotless and perfectly scoop an avocado from its shell. \r\nBut one household activity is so widely favored amongst women it’s surprising it’s not yet its own sub-genre of women’s erotica, and that’s watching a man make a bed. Seriously: women can’t get enough of it — so start perfecting those hospital corners.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nSigns She's Interested in Having Sex With YouDad Bod vs. Fit Bod - Do Women Like Dad Bods?Types of Guys Women Can't Resist", "keywords": "What, Women, Find, Sexy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "100", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/dating/dating_advice/what-women-find-sexy-1106460-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-women-find-sexy.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55781", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Can A.I. Improve Your Dating Life?", "title_slug": "can-ai-improve-your-dating-life", "title_hash": "5f84a24c2911a55d7b6423736cb81243", "summary": "Can AI Improve Your Dating Life? Lots of Apps Think So. But Are They Right?", "content": "Bumble’s founder, Whitney Wolfe Herd, recently made the headlines for laying out a vision about AI and the future of dating. “There is a world where your dating concierge could go and date for you with other dating concierges,” she said at the Bloomberg Tech Summit in San Francisco. That way, you don’t have to go and “talk to 600 people.” \r\nThat future may not be that far away, considering the surge of AI-powered features on dating apps and AI dating assistants. \r\nOn Tinder, for example, you can use the “Photo Selector” feature to choose the best pictures to upload to your profile. \r\nOther ways dating apps are leveraging AI include optimizing matches and filtering out fake profiles and inappropriate content, says Yanina Strylets, CEO and co-founder of AI dating service SciMatch.\r\nOutside of dating apps, a new market is booming: Solutions aimed to help daters streamline and maximize their online dating experience. There is Meeno, an AI relationship coach that users can turn to for advice.There is Rizz, an AI dating assistant that helps you craft openers and witty responses in conversations with new matches. Some apps, like Replika, even allow people to date AI chatbots. \r\nRELATED: Does Having an AI 'Partner' Count as Cheating? \r\nFor better or worse, AI is already transforming dating. But should you consider using it to improve your love life? The potential pitfalls may just outweigh the benefits. Here’s what you need to know. \r\n\r\nWhy Some Daters Are Turning to AI\r\n\r\nOnline dating can be time-consuming: A Forbes Health survey revealed that people spend on average 51 minutes per day on dating apps – and it’s leading to fatigue. When asked how often they felt emotionally, mentally or physically worn out by dating apps, 78% of respondents reported experiencing these feelings sometimes, often or always.\r\nRELATED: How to Handle Online Dating Fatigue\r\nThere are plenty of reasons to feel burned out when trying to meet people on apps. Swiping for hours without getting a match. Finally matching with someone only to have a dead-end conversation. Going on a constant string of first dates that never evolve into second ones. Being ghosted, breadcrumbed or lied to. Wanting connection, but feeling disillusioned about the lack of connection that online dating can breed. \r\nThese scenarios may lead some daters to embrace a little help from technology to tackle the early dating stages. According to a Match survey, 43% of singles have used artificial intelligence to help write their dating app profile and 37% used it to help write a first message.\r\nKeep in mind that men tend to have a different experience of dating apps than women and may be more inclined to use artificial intelligence to market themselves. While women are more likely to feel overwhelmed by the number of messages they receive, 64% of men reveal they have felt insecure because of a lack of messages, according to the Pew Research Center. \r\nDmitri Mirakyan, co-founder of YourMove AI, a platform that offers an AI profile generator service, told CBC News that about a third of the platform’s users are young men. He added that some people rely on the service because they're introverted or are older and unfamiliar with dating apps.\r\n\r\nThe Pitfalls of Using AI for Dating \r\n\r\nBut can AI really lead to more human connection? While using it as a tool to speed up the process of meeting people or standing out in a sea of dating profiles may seem tempting at first, it has the potential to backfire. \r\nA recent study examined the impact of using AI to enhance the profiles of Airbnb hosts. Participants mistrusted hosts whose profiles were labeled as or suspected to be written by AI. These findings have implications on the dating front too. \r\nIf you’re using AI to chat with a dating app match, they might sense that something is off and feel a lack of trust without being able to pinpoint why. Or they might meet you in person and sense a clash between your real-life personality and the way your AI messages made you seem. \r\nRELATED: Why People Lie About Themselves on Dating Apps, Explained \r\nAuthenticity is the backbone of meaningful connection, after all. And that can't be faked — at least not in the long run. \r\n“Using AI to draft messages can lead to a lack of authenticity, which, in turn, can cause an emotional disconnect,” according to Dr. Jess O'Reilly, a relationship expert at Tinder. “Finding and building on connections is all about learning more about each individual and what makes them tick.” \r\nO’Reilly adds that while AI tools can help you figure out prompts and questions to ask, over-utilizing them in conversations can water down your personality, lead you to feel less engaged in the initial stages of building a connection, and potentially mislead your matches. \r\nAs for using AI-generated photos, it’s not much different than using photos that actually represent you in other ways, such as old ones or Photoshopped ones: It’s a recipe for an awkward (and possibly unpleasant) first encounter. \r\nRELATED: How to Tell if a Dating Profile Is Fake\r\n“My advice to users considering AI-generated profile pics is to just imagine how you'd feel if the person you're chatting with did the same thing, and how you'd feel when you finally meet IRL,” says O’Reilly. \r\nYour date is more likely to feel tricked and deceived than to focus on getting to know you, at that point.\r\n\r\nShould You Use AI for Dating? \r\n\r\nAs a dater, you may be wondering if there are ways to rely on AI without sabotaging your efforts to connect or completely misleading others. \r\nUsing it here and there to get inspired while staying true to your personality could, in theory, help you in the moment. It might save you time and energy. It might turn a match into a conversation and a conversation into a date. \r\nBut it might also lead you to focus on the wrong things — impressing a match versus exploring whether you are compatible, for example. \r\nReal relationships require intentionality. What happens when you have your first vulnerable conversation and can’t rely on a chatbot or virtual dating assistant to navigate it? How will you cultivate relationship skills if you become used to seeing dating as a numbers game instead of people as people? \r\n“There's a risk that users may become overly reliant on algorithms to make decisions about relationships. We encourage users to use our AI as a tool to aid their decision-making, not replace it,” notes Strylets. \r\nAI-driven dating app features may enhance the online dating experience by preventing you from getting catfished or lining up better matches for you. The effectiveness of such algorithms remains to be seen, and they aren’t necessarily harmful per se. \r\nQuite apart from the fact that it looks as though AI’s steep energy use is a real environmental concern, if people are already suffering from online dating burnout, there is a bigger conversation to be had about love and connection — one that transcends new digital solutions and tools. \r\nTechnology has the power to help us meet new people, but it can also make us feel lonely and disconnected. The same can be said about AI. If you choose to use it, do so sparingly — and responsibly. \r\nAlso, remember that AI won’t magically solve your love life challenges. Fostering relationship skills, being your true self and aiming to get to know romantic prospects for who they truly are may seem like an overly simple — and sometimes frustrating — proposition in the world of online dating, but it’s the only path to meaningful connection. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Prepare for the Impact of A.I. on the Job Market Survey Finds Huge Percentage of People Sexting With A.I.What Men and Women Look for in A.I. Companion Bots", "keywords": "Can, A.I., Improve, Your, Dating, Life", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "107", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/can-ai-improve-your-dating-life/askmen-lead-image-template-1722615370.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/can-ai-improve-your-dating-life.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55780", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Some OnlyFans Creators May Be Using Chatbots, Reuters Says", "title_slug": "some-onlyfans-creators-may-be-using-chatbots-reuters-says", "title_hash": "380b4275858f8abedbfebcb298e58566", "summary": "Is Your Favorite OnlyFans Model Using A.I. to Chat With You? The Answer Is: Maybe", "content": "The Story\r\nPart of the appeal of OnlyFans — besides being able to access exclusive content from people you find hot — is the possibility of, for a fee, interacting with them directly. \r\nChatting with your favorite porn star, or even sexting with them, can be a serious thrill. But what if you’re actually talking with an AI chatbot without realizing it? \r\nThat’s the question raised by a recent Reuters article, which reports that various companies are offering OnlyFans performers access to flirting-oriented chatbots.\r\nRELATED: Survey Finds Huge Percentage of People Sexting With AI\r\nThe Snapshot\r\nAccording to the article, one such company, NEO Agency, boasts that FlirtFlow “doesn't just send messages; it creates authentic connections” thanks to its programming to capture “the essence of years of relationship-building expertise, ensuring every interaction is genuine and meaningful.”\r\nRELATED: Does Having an AI 'Partner' Count as Cheating? \r\nWhile that’s certainly an impressive thing to claim, it does run counter to the aforementioned ability, on the part of OnlyFans subscribers, to create “authentic connections” with the adult stars and models whose pages they’ve subscribed to. \r\nFurthermore, it’s behavior that’s explicitly banned by the site. Their terms of service have been updated recently enough on this account to address the rise of AI chatbots. Per the Reuters article on the subject, they state: “You cannot use an AI chatbot to write chats or direct messages.”\r\nRELATED: Your Next Trainer Might Be on OnlyFans \r\nAccording to Reuters, FlirtFlow is only one of multiple options out there for performers who don’t have the bandwidth (or desire) to engage in these conversations themselves. Of course, this isn’t exactly new — it’s been reported that OF stars have outsourced this work to employees in the past. But now you might not be talking to a human at all. \r\nThere’s not really any current way of knowing how widespread this behavior might be, but given the popularity of chatbots, it has to be something that many OnlyFans creators have at least considered. \r\nThe Lesson\r\nThe rise of AI has had significant impacts on all kinds of different aspects of our lives, and the possibility that a textual message you’re receiving has been written by a chatbot or other AI software is not a small one. \r\nThe use of AI in dating and flirting contexts seems poised to be a significantly transformative one. How will we interact with messages from people we find attractive if we can’t trust that they were actually written by them? \r\nRELATED: What Men and Women Look for in A.I. Companion Bots \r\nIt’s too early to say how this will play out in a larger scope, but the degrading of trust in people’s messages, and the likelihood of people accusing others of using AI, seem like they will likely increase — even in cases where the person isn’t using a chatbot. \r\nAnd while it may be easy to fault OnlyFans creators turning to AI rather than interacting with fans directly, it’s also worth remembering that many of these conversations are likely unpleasant. \r\nFrom an OF creator’s perspective, letting a chatbot handle DM exchanges that could be graphically sexual, and/or emotionally intense with potentially demanding customers makes a lot of sense — but it also does undermine the premise of the OnlyFans model. So it remains to be seen how this will play out. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nEverything You Should Know About AI PornHow to Prepare for the Impact of AI on the Job Market\r\nCan A.I. Deliver Accurate Sex Education?", "keywords": "Some, OnlyFans, Creators, May, Using, Chatbots, Reuters, Says", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/is-your-favorite-onlyfans-model-using-ai-to-chat-with-you/askmen-lead-image-template-1-1722615702.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/is-your-favorite-onlyfans-model-using-ai-to-chat-with-you.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55779", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Fall Decor Inspiration for Your Home", "title_slug": "best-fall-decor-inspiration-for-your-home", "title_hash": "59bac9b83401237f82db2e078a29f817", "summary": "Looking for fall decor inspiration? We've got you! Check out our list of the top 50 trending fall decor ideas for 2024!\nThe post Best Fall Decor Inspiration for Your Home appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

Looking for fall decor inspiration? We've got you! Check out our list of the top 50 trending fall decor ideas for 2024!

The post Best Fall Decor Inspiration for Your Home appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "Best, Fall, Decor, Inspiration, for, Your, Home", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Fall-Decor-Square.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/best-fall-decor-inspiration-for-your-home/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 06:23:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55491", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Putting Originalism Through the Wood Chipper With Madiba Dennie", "title_slug": "putting-originalism-through-the-wood-chipper-with-madiba-dennie", "title_hash": "c22dcbf9cc31b4313ee101ae0476e415", "summary": "Conservatives have been using originalism as a tool to undermine social and civil progress.\nThe post Putting Originalism Through the Wood Chipper With Madiba Dennie appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Black women law nerds, unite! “We’re having a moment,” as this week’s special guest Madiba Dennie says.

Dennie is a lawyer, deputy editor and senior contributor at Balls and Strikes, and the author of The Originalism Trap. She joins Jess and Imani to discuss how originalism is not a legitimate intellectual theory, the idea of “jurisdiction stripping,” and the next Supreme Court term.

Transcript (coming soon!)

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that rapid reaction episodes like this one is only made possible with the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post Putting Originalism Through the Wood Chipper With Madiba Dennie appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Putting, Originalism, Through, the, Wood, Chipper, With, Madiba, Dennie", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/BL-Card-S08-Ep28-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/01/putting-originalism-through-the-wood-chipper-with-madiba-dennie/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 05:29:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55492", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Complicated State of Abortion Access Across the Midwest", "title_slug": "the-complicated-state-of-abortion-access-across-the-midwest", "title_hash": "1ac30f0a22a7ec5daff91bdf84b72c24", "summary": "Abortion clinics and funders say they have the capacity to meet demand—but they need money.\nThe post The Complicated State of Abortion Access Across the Midwest appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

On Monday, Iowa became the fourth state where abortion is banned at roughly six weeks of pregnancy. This is in addition to the 14 states that ban abortion entirely, and four more that have made their laws more restrictive since the overturn of Roe v. Wade in 2022.

That’s to say nothing of the abortion restrictions that were already in place in many states prior to the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, most of which remain in place today.

Hardest hit is the Southeast, where abortion was already largely inaccessible prior to Dobbs, especially beyond the first trimester. Now, abortion is banned entirely or at six weeks across almost the entire region. And since Florida’s six-week ban went into effect on May 1—after an earlier 15-week ban had already decimated access—the large wave of traveling abortion seekers from the South became a tsunami.

Many of these patients are now traveling up the East Coast to clinics in Virginia, Washington, D.C., and New York City. Others—particularly those from Texas and Oklahoma—are traveling west to states like Colorado and New Mexico.

But many are also traveling to the Midwest, a region with a complex patchwork of abortion laws and longstanding access challenges for its own residents.

Abortion providers and funders in the Midwest say they’re prepared to support Iowans who need to travel out of state, along with all the out-of-state patients they care for already. But in a landscape where abortion seekers are increasingly faced with the choice of either traveling farther and farther from home, or obtaining abortion pills online, money is what enables abortion access. And as the post-Dobbs donation bump disappears, Midwestern abortion funds and clinics told Rewire News Group the biggest challenge they face is making sure the money doesn’t dry up.

A confusing patchwork of laws

\"\" — *Many abortion patients are traveling from the South up to the East Coast, to clinics in Virginia, New York City, and Washington, D.C., to get care. (Shutterstock)*

When it comes to the legal status of abortion across the Midwest, it’s complicated.

The region is home to several states with total abortion bans, including Indiana, Missouri, and North and South Dakota. But it is also home to Minnesota and Michigan, two states with some protections for abortion rights, and Illinois, another protective state that is a major destination for traveling abortion seekers. According to the Society of Family Planning’s latest We Count report, analyzing data between April 2022 and December 2023, Illinois saw the single largest increase in its abortion rate of any state.

In Wisconsin, abortion was swiftly outlawed after the Dobbs decision thanks to a pre-Roe criminal abortion ban. However, a September 2023 court decision restored the pre-Dobbs status quo and abortion care resumed—though that status quo is still restrictive.

Ohio’s constitution, too, now protects abortion rights after a successful ballot campaign in 2023. But the constitutional amendment did not automatically repeal the state’s many abortion restrictions, and abortion is still only available until 22 weeks.

In Nebraska, abortion has been banned after 12 weeks since May 2023. In nearby Kansas—thanks to voters’ defeat of an anti-abortion ballot measure—it remains legal until 22 weeks. But in May, abortion access in Kansas suffered a blow when Wichita’s Trust Women clinic, one of only six in the state, unexpectedly shut down following the board’s removal of the entire senior leadership team. Trust Women confirmed to Rewire News Group that it is on track to reopen within the next week.

A host of Kansas abortion restrictions were recently defeated at the state supreme court, but others remain in place.

Iowa faces an already dire situation

\"Black — *As of now, two abortion clinics remain open in Iowa: a Planned Parenthood affiliate in Ames and the Emma Goldman Clinic in Iowa City. (Shutterstock)*

Lyz Lenz, a board member of the Iowa Abortion Access Fund (IAAF), pointed out that Iowans can still obtain abortion pills by telemedicine from providers in legal states or via other online sources. And IAAF is prepared to help people travel out of state as needed.

“We’re the second-oldest abortion fund in the nation,” Lenz said. “We are not going anywhere.”

IAAF has already seen a 27 percent increase in requests for funding since 2021 and a 7 percent increase compared to last year in just the first half of 2024, said Lenz, who added that many people were already traveling out of state due to Iowa’s restrictive abortion laws.

But abortion bans affect all reproductive and sexual health care. Across the country, OB-GYNs have fled abortion ban states, and medical residents have increasingly declined to train in them. In Iowa, the situation was already dire: There are fewer OB-GYN specialists per capita there than in any other state in the nation.

A 2023 study by March of Dimes found that one-third of Iowa counties are maternity care deserts. More than one-third of the state’s population lives in rural areas, but as of January, 61 percent of its rural hospitals don’t offer labor and delivery services. Earlier this year, a major Des Moines hospital had to shut down its gynecologic oncology program because it couldn’t find a doctor to run it.

And should the state’s six-week ban cause more doctors to flee, the burden will fall most heavily on the state’s most marginalized populations, said Ashley Garrin, vice president of the Iowa Black Doula Collective.

It’s challenging already for Black Iowans—who make up about 4 percent of the state’s population—to receive high-quality, culturally competent care, Garrin said.

“I’m in Des Moines, the capital city, which is the most diverse in the state,” she said. “And we have only two Black female OBs that exist throughout the different medical systems here.”

“Across the nation, Black women are three to four times more likely to die in childbirth compared to their white counterparts,” Garrin added. “In Iowa, it is seven times more.”

She also noted that the cesarean section rate among Black women is “extremely” high in Iowa, and expressed concern that recent advances in reducing the infant mortality rate could be reversed due to the ban.

As of now, two abortion clinics remain open in Iowa: a Planned Parenthood affiliate in Ames and the Emma Goldman Clinic in Iowa City. But pregnancy dating is confusing, and Garrin pointed out that many people who could potentially access legal abortion care in Iowa may not have the health literacy to get there.

“I have a daughter who’s 13, and if I think about the sex education that she’s been exposed to at school, it doesn’t cover those kinds of things,” Garrin said.

Providing care to an influx of out-of-state patients

\"Woman — *Minnesota has legal protections for abortion access. (Shutterstock)*

Most Iowans who need to travel out of state will likely go east to Illinois or north to Minnesota, with some possibly traveling to Nebraska or farther afield where they have personal connections.

According to Dr. Iman Alsaden, medical director at Planned Parenthood Great Plains (PPGP), Midwestern abortion providers are adept at caring for traveling patients. They’ve been doing it since long before Dobbs.

For example, PPGP operates clinics in Arkansas, Kansas, Missouri, and Oklahoma. But patients from Missouri had long traveled to Kansas for abortion care due to the restrictive environment in their home state.

Historically, abortion restrictions that send a flood of patients traveling from one state to another tend to displace the residents of that “destination” state.

“When SB 8 went into effect in Texas [in 2021], everyone from Texas went to Oklahoma City and Tulsa,” Alsaden said. “And then all of a sudden in Kansas City, we were seeing people from Oklahoma, even though abortion was legal in Oklahoma at that time.”

But three Illinois abortion providers told Rewire News Group that so far, this hasn’t been the case there. This is, in part, because several new clinics have opened in the state. One of those is CHOICES, a longtime Memphis, Tennessee abortion provider that started working to open a clinic in the Southern Illinois college town of Carbondale back in 2021. CHOICES opened its Carbondale location in October 2022, and its Memphis health center remains open as well, providing a range of reproductive and sexual health services even though it can no longer offer abortion care.

“2023 was our first full year of seeing patients, and we saw right about 3,500 patients in Carbondale,” CHOICES President and CEO Jennifer Pepper said. The vast majority were from the South, primarily Tennessee, followed by Mississippi, Arkansas, and Kentucky. In total, the clinic saw patients from 21 states, mostly across the South and the Midwest.

Absorbing patients who would need to travel north for abortion care was precisely the goal.

“We wanted to take care of the same communities that we had been taking care of for the last 50 years,” Pepper said. “I think most folks in Illinois, like in all states, knew who their abortion providers were, who had been in their communities for decades. And so I think folks in Illinois are continuing to go to those colleagues of ours, and we are really taking care of folks, primarily, that are having to travel outside of their communities to access care.”

Expanding capacity

Other longtime abortion providers in Illinois have expanded their staff and capacity to handle the influx of out-of-state patients and avoid displacing locals. Illinois’ oldest independent clinic, Hope Clinic in Granite City—just across the border from Missouri—has increased its staffing by 40 percent and added an additional clinic day to handle increased patient volume, Chief Operating Officer Michele Landeau said.

Caring for out-of-state patients—particularly Missourians—is nothing new. But the number of out-of-state patients has skyrocketed in the last two years.

“Since the Dobbs decision, we have seen patients from 28 different states and four different countries,” Landeau said. “A lot of them are coming from the Southeast, but a lot of folks are coming from other states in the Midwest.”

Hope Clinic has also increased its capacity to offer care up to 27 weeks, six days of pregnancy.

“We have seen a 250 percent increase in the number of people who are seeking care in their second trimester at Hope Clinic,” Landeau said.

CHOICES President and CEO Jennifer Pepper noted the critical importance of clinics that remain open in states that ban abortion … so patients will have safe places to go for follow-up care if needed once they return home, or if they self-manage their abortions.

Family Planning Associates (FPA) in Chicago is the Midwest’s largest independent abortion clinic, and it’s another one of the few outpatient providers for later second trimester abortions in the state. To accommodate the additional demand, Medical Director Dr. Allison Cowett said FPA has hired 20 additional staff members to bring its staff up to 60 people in total, and increased the size of its physical space.

“Somewhere between 10 and 12 percent of our patients were from out of state prior to Dobbs, and most of those folks were from Indiana and Wisconsin,” Cowett said. “Now, over 30 percent of our patients are coming from outside of Illinois.”

FPA sees about 30 Texans per month, she said, with a growing number from the rest of the South since Florida’s six-week ban went into effect.

Pepper also noted the critical importance of clinics that remain open in states that ban abortion, such as West Alabama Women’s Center, Feminist Women’s Health Center in Atlanta, and Women’s Health Center of West Virginia, so patients will have safe places to go for follow-up care if needed once they return home, or if they self-manage their abortions.

Cowett said she had a patient recently whose experience points to this need. The patient traveled from the Deep South to Chicago for her abortion, and she was concerned about the amount of bleeding she was having when she returned home. After evaluating her symptoms, Family Planning Associates staff determined it would be best for her to seek care.

“The physician that she saw in the emergency room close to her house called the police,” Cowett said. “She did not even tell them that she had had an abortion … luckily the police, in that situation, didn’t feel compelled to act on being called. But she left the emergency room without getting any care.”

After several more attempts to get the patient care near her home, she ended up traveling all the way back to Chicago.

A growing need for hospital-based care

Abortion bans are well known to delay patients, forcing them to seek care later in pregnancy than they otherwise might have. And when patients have more complex medical needs, they sometimes need care in a hospital rather than in a clinic setting.

“Sometimes that is because the pregnancy is further along, but it might be because of a health condition,” said Qudsiyyah Shariyf, deputy director of the Chicago Abortion Fund (CAF). “There are some health conditions where if that person had stable health care, they might not have needed hospital care. But so many people, particularly from the South and Midwest, and in rural areas, don’t have access to health care, and so when they’re showing up to get an abortion, that might be the first time in a long time that they’re seeing a doctor.”

To help facilitate access to hospital-based care, the state of Illinois set up the Complex Abortion Regional Line for Access (CARLA), a referral line that helps people secure appointments and access funding through CAF.

Illinois’ state government has been proactive and supportive, Pepper said. However, some gaps remain. For example, Landeau said, when a patient does arrive at Hope Clinic with a complex case that requires hospital care, they have to be referred five hours north to hospitals in Chicago despite the fact that there are plenty of hospitals in Southern Illinois.

“I think the state is aware of it and is taking it seriously because they take abortion access seriously,” she said. Just this week, Gov. J.B. Pritzker signed a new slate of abortion and birth justice protections into law, including a requirement that Illinois-based insurance plans cover abortion with no copays or deductibles.

A regional hub for abortion support

\"\" — *In July, Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker signed the Birth Equity Act, strengthening abortion care and birth equity protections into law. (Shutterstock)*

To meet the demand for financial support in its abortion “destination” state, CAF has built itself into a regional hub for abortion funding and support. It has partnered with several smaller abortion funds, helping them to streamline and scale up their operations.

For example, CAF partnered with Wisconsin Abortion Fund while abortion was inaccessible there, and it currently partners with Nebraska Abortion Resources and Arkansas Abortion Support Network, Shariyf said.

With Iowa’s six-week ban now in effect, IAAF becomes the latest fund to enter into such a partnership.

“The only thing that’s going to change on our end is the phone number that people call,” IAAF’s Lenz said. “We are still raising money and we’re still providing money for Iowans who need abortion care.”

Since the Dobbs decision, CAF has heard from about 450 Iowans, a number it now expects to increase, according to Shariyf. In the partnership, CAF will take on all the case management duties for IAAF’s clients, allowing IAAF to focus its efforts purely on raising and distributing funds.

According to Shariyf, this just makes sense: In addition to Illinois being a safe haven for abortion care, CAF is a larger fund with a mix of volunteer and paid staff, as opposed to smaller funds like IAAF, which are typically all-volunteer. The partnership model smooths the process of interstate travel for patients, reducing the number of phone calls they have to make in order to get the financial help they need. It also gives smaller funds access to CAF’s more robust infrastructure and reduces the administrative burden on clinics, Shariyf said.

Will the money run out?

“The biggest problem right now is the funding,” Cowett said.

“Abortion funds have done an amazing job raising money and helping people understand how important it is for outside philanthropic efforts to meet the needs of these people who are traveling,” she continued. “But the money and the resources are finite. There will be a time where it’s difficult to provide funding for these people to travel.”

That’s especially true given the growing number of patients who need care later in pregnancy—when procedures take longer and are more expensive—or in hospitals.

“Our hospital patients make up about 2 percent of our callers and over 20 percent of our budget,” Shariyf said.

For months, abortion funds and clinics alike have sounded the alarm that post-Dobbs “rage” donations are drying up. The situation has only been made more difficult by the fact that recently, the National Abortion Federation—the biggest player in the abortion funding space—confirmed to Rewire News Group it cut the amount of assistance it is able to give per patient from up to 50 percent of the total cost to up to 30 percent.

“At this point, Chicago Abortion Fund is really fortunate to have city, state, and foundational investment in our organization and in the abortion access ecosystem in Illinois,” Shariyf said. “And still, the increase in our services post-Dobbs is not sustainable without longer-term policy change.”

The post The Complicated State of Abortion Access Across the Midwest appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This week, President Joe Biden proposed a series of Supreme Court reforms, and all I can say is that it’s about freakin’ time.

Here’s what Biden proposed, originally laid out in the Washington Post:

First, the “No One Is Above the Law Amendment” is a proposed constitutional amendment that denies former presidents immunity for crimes committed while in office. It’s a testament to just how corrupt the Supreme Court has become under Chief Justice John Roberts’ watch that we’re even having a conversation about amending the Constitution to address it. We also need to face the reality that conservatives will fight this proposal tooth-and-nail.

Second, term limits for Supreme Court justices. Under Biden’s proposal, the president would appoint a justice every two years, and they would spend 18 years in active service on the Court before essentially being rolled off the bench. By way of example, this October is the start of Clarence Thomas’ 33rd year on the bench. Imagine a world where he got moved into retirement 15 years ago, whether he wanted to or not.

Finally, Biden also proposes a binding and enforceable ethics code for Supreme Court justices, who would be required to disclose gifts, refrain from public political activity, and recuse themselves from cases in which they or their spouses (*cough* Ginny Thomas *cough*) have financial or other conflicts of interest.

While it’s not expanding the Court—which we at Rewire News Group have been calling for for years—these proposals are an important step in the right direction toward addressing the conservative legal movement’s complete ideological capture of the Court. Politically, a lot needs to happen to make these ideas a reality.

Importantly, Vice President Kamala Harris endorsed the reforms almost immediately after they were announced. That means the needle has officially moved on court reform—and a little more than two weeks before the Democratic National Convention.

The post Is Supreme Court Reform Finally Near? appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Move over, SCOTUS. State supreme courts are increasingly taking center stage in the fight for abortion rights and access.

In the span of two weeks, state supreme courts in Nebraska, Iowa, and Utah all weighed in on abortion bans in their state. The Nebraska Supreme Court upheld its state’s 12-week ban. The Iowa Supreme Court allowed the state’s six-week ban to take hold. And on Thursday, the Utah Supreme Court bucked the trend and ruled to keep in place an injunction blocking a 2020 law that bans all abortions in the state except in three narrow circumstances. Thursday’s ruling means abortion remains legal in Utah up to 18 weeks while the lawsuit challenging the 2020 ban continues in the lower courts.

These rulings will collectively shift an already-fluid abortion access map. As Garnet Henderson reported for Rewire News Group, access in the Midwest was already precarious. The Nebraska and Iowa rulings will only make that worse. By contrast, the Utah Supreme Court decision to keep that ban blocked offers a temporary reprieve from reduction of access for the Rocky Mountain West.

But the rulings do more than strain the contours of the abortion access map—they also refine the constitutional conversation around abortion access entirely.

State supreme courts play an important role post-Dobbs for another reason: electability of judges.

Prior to the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, abortion rights were understood primarily in a federal context, as defined by the Constitution. That’s not to say that state courts and constitutions didn’t matter before Dobbs. In states like Kansas and Oklahoma, they certainly did. But by overturning Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court made sure those state supreme courts mattered everywhere. And in the short term, that could be a good thing for efforts to restore abortion rights nationwide.

According to analysis by the Center for Reproductive Rights, 12 state high courts currently recognize the right to abortion as found in state constitutions in some form. Only four—Iowa, Idaho, Indiana, and South Carolina—have ruled their state constitutions do not protect abortion generally. And in regions of the country where abortion access is already hanging on by a thread, it’s been state supreme courts and constitutions providing a much-needed lifeline while the country rebuilds after Dobbs.

In fact, it is state constitutions that currently offer the most robust abortion protections, as well as the building blocks for a new jurisprudence forward. Take Pennsylvania, for example, where the state supreme court relied on the Pennsylvania Equal Rights Amendment in the state constitution to wipe away decades of anti-abortion precedent and clear the way for Medicaid funding for care.

Prior to Dobbs, the Kansas Supreme Court determined that its state constitution’s embrace of natural law includes a broad right to abortion—a far more progressive holding than anything the Supreme Court has ever contemplated nationally. Federal lawmakers trying to rally voters around a plan to “Restore Roe” should instead spend their time making the case for how to device a national strategy built off Pennsylvania’s success and the popularity of abortion rights ballot initiatives rather than a middling congressional response that, even if it were to pass, would remain vulnerable to the most abortion-hostile Supreme Court in history, as well as repeal by a future Republican administration. Advocates looking to craft refreshed constitutional arguments recognizing bodily autonomy will currently find more expansive framings from the Kansas Supreme Court than anywhere else in the country. When it comes to rebuilding abortion access after Dobbs, states courts and constitutions can function as those incubators of democracy.

State supreme courts play an important role post-Dobbs for another reason: electability of judges. Twenty-four states elect their state supreme court judges in a mix of partisan and nonpartisan elections. In places like Wisconsin, that mix of electing judges and protecting abortion rights and access has created an important firewall against never-ending legislative attacks on reproductive autonomy. It’s also seen in Florida, where the fight for control over the state supreme court and abortion access are all wound up in the current ballot initiative over abortion rights in the state.

In overturning abortion rights in Dobbs, the Supreme Court upended much of the relationship between the federal government and the states. In forging a path forward, advocates and lawmakers are right to look to state courts and constitutions in building something better and more robust than Roe.

The post State Supreme Courts Step Up in the Fight to Rebuild Access After ‘Roe’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "State, Supreme, Courts, Step, the, Fight, Rebuild, Access, After, ‘Roe’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "147", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/UtahSupremeCourt-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/08/01/state-supreme-courts-step-up-in-the-fight-to-rebuild-access-after-roe/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-08-04 05:29:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "55000", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Tips to Enhance Your Relationship", "title_slug": "10-tips-to-enhance-your-relationship", "title_hash": "125406c233ca01b470b0457b1c6a9442", "summary": "Fun and effective tips for couples to enhance their relationship this summer\nThe post 10 Tips to Enhance Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Fun and effective tips for couples to enhance their relationship this summer

The post 10 Tips to Enhance Your Relationship appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Tips, Enhance, Your, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/GettyImages-1125654560-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-tips-to-enhance-your-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:58:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54999", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: The Situationship Between My My Baby Daddy & My Boyfriend", "title_slug": "true-life-story-the-situationship-between-my-my-baby-daddy-my-boyfriend", "title_hash": "beb6c0b4a7d77d3256e1457b6a4ec90c", "summary": "True Life Story: The Situationship Between My My Baby Daddy & My Boyfriend Dear Lively Stones, Please help me with advise. My baby daddy wants to take my children away from me simply because his cousin is interested in me. I don’t know why this man is being selfish. I met my baby daddy about […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: The Situationship Between My My Baby Daddy & My Boyfriend

Dear Lively Stones,

Please help me with advise. My baby daddy wants to take my children away from me simply because his cousin is interested in me. I don’t know why this man is being selfish. I met my baby daddy about six years ago. We dated a while and I found out he had a girlfriend. I tried to break up with him but he kept telling me that they are not serious. This continued until I actually got pregnant for him.

The girlfriend when she heard I was pregnant, reached out to me to tell me that they have done traditional marriage. I was devastated. So I finally broke up with him. Told him not to contact me until I give birth. But my pregnancy was a difficult one. I was pregnant with twins. I had to let the father know. So, he became supportive cos of the pregnancy. The wife did not like it, she filed for divorce and left him.

After a long difficult pregnancy, I gave birth through CS to twins: girls. Their dad was happy and always dotting on them. We lived together until his siblings started giving me attitude. I think they felt threatened by me, that I will not let them continue enjoying their brother. They started blaming me for their brother’s first marriage breaking up, they started fighting me and if I complained, their brother will take their side.

The tension became so bad that I had to leave their brother’s house. Besides, he was seeing other women. My girls were becoming one year old, he is not saying anything about marrying me, yet he was sleeping with me and other women. So, I decided to leave. Now, there is this cousin of his, (not really cousins but distant relations but they are close) that loves my girls so much, he used to buy them and me gifts all the time. When he heard I left their father, he started telling me that he has feelings for me.

At first, I rejected him but after a while, I realized I was in love with him cos he’s been like a rock of support to me and my girls. Now, my baby daddy heard about me and his cousin and is saying he does not want me to see his cousin anymore. I told him since he is not my boyfriend or husband, he cannot tell me who to see or not to see. This angered him and his family. They started calling me gold digger, that since I could not get their brother, I have gone after their cousin who is even richer than their brother.

God knows, I never went after the cousin…he came after me. So because of these rumors and bad blood from my baby daddy and his siblings, his cousin’s mother said she will not agree to our marriage. They have been feeding her lies about me, that I am a home wrecker and that I am a gold digger. For the past one year, I have tried everything to win her cos my boyfriend promised me that she will eventually change her mind about me….but it seems the more I try…the more she h@tes me. I am exhausted from trying to please this family.

My boyfriend has said we are getting married with or without his mother’s permission. Is this wise? I told him I don’t want to come in-between him and his mother, he said its not relevant. This has been a battle and I am getting tired of fighting. Then all of a sudden, my baby daddy came and tried to seduce me to sleep with him. I had to use all my might to fight him off. He said as long as I am his children’s mother, I will always belong to him. I told him never.

More From Lively Stones

Since that time, he stopped sending money for my girls…he said if I want money, I should let him sleep with me. I cannot tell my boyfriend who is cousin cos I am afraid that will discourage him…he may feel he is being caught in the middle of a love triangle. I dont want him to think anything is between me and my baby daddy….do you think I should tell him? I am afraid….This situation is beginning to worry me. Which kind of family did I enter? One does not want me but he wants to have s3x with me? The other wants me but his mother h@tes me….do I stand a chance of ever finding happiness? What should I do? Please advise me.

Anonymous

Comment & Share This Story (Kindly Keep Comments tasteful)

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They…", "content": "When your ex unblocks you, it can be confusing and make you wonder why they did it. They…", "keywords": ", Your, Unblocked, You, Here’s, What, Means", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "122", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/image4.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/if-your-ex-unblocked-you-heres-what-it-means/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54855", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How A Phone Can Expose Red Flags That Might Indicate Your Partner Is Cheating", "title_slug": "how-a-phone-can-expose-red-flags-that-might-indicate-your-partner-is-cheating", "title_hash": "3b0332d2b4fb8aa159a058cf5d2beaa9", "summary": "In our digital world, our phones hold a lot of personal information. If you’re worried about your partner’s…", "content": "In our digital world, our phones hold a lot of personal information. If you’re worried about your partner’s…", "keywords": "How, Phone, Can, Expose, Red, Flags, That, Might, Indicate, Your, Partner, Cheating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "92", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/567.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/how-your-phone-can-expose-red-flags-that-might-indicate-your-partner-is-cheating/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54854", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Charcoal Toothpastes", "title_slug": "best-charcoal-toothpastes", "title_hash": "97d4fecc141546f2c3aa5a47ac336f0f", "summary": "It used to be that charcoal wasn’t something men associated with oral hygiene. Grilling in the backyard? For sure. Nourishing a compost heap? Absolutely. A water filter? Possibly. But recently, that black residue dubbed activated charcoal has found its way into a variety of grooming products. Maybe the most surprising of the batch? Toothpaste.\r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Face Masks for Men\r\nActivated charcoal toothpastes are being viewed as a revival of ancient medicine techniques, dating back to 1500 B.C. where the powdery complex was used for more for medicinal purposes and less to fight tooth decay. According to Everyday Health, it’s used in drug overdoses and accidental poisonings, to relieve stomach pains, and may even help fight high cholesterol.\r\nIt has also permeated through the world of grooming and is now infused in skin care, hair care, deodorants, body washes — you name it and there is probably an activated charcoal option you can buy.\r\nMaybe one of the most notable uses for ac", "content": "It used to be that charcoal wasn’t something men associated with oral hygiene. Grilling in the backyard? For sure. Nourishing a compost heap? Absolutely. A water filter? Possibly. But recently, that black residue dubbed activated charcoal has found its way into a variety of grooming products. Maybe the most surprising of the batch? Toothpaste.\r\nRELATED: Best Charcoal Face Masks for Men\r\nActivated charcoal toothpastes are being viewed as a revival of ancient medicine techniques, dating back to 1500 B.C. where the powdery complex was used for more for medicinal purposes and less to fight tooth decay. According to Everyday Health, it’s used in drug overdoses and accidental poisonings, to relieve stomach pains, and may even help fight high cholesterol.\r\nIt has also permeated through the world of grooming and is now infused in skin care, hair care, deodorants, body washes — you name it and there is probably an activated charcoal option you can buy.\r\nMaybe one of the most notable uses for activated charcoal of late is to whiten teeth. Whether it involves toothpastes, mouthwashes, or activated charcoal powders, the benefits of using this buzzworthy ingredient seem endless, but that does come with some caution. Prolonged use may damage teeth, but when low abrasive variations are used in moderation for surface teeth whitening, the results can be bright.\r\n\r\nWhat Is Activated Charcoal?\r\n\r\nAlso known as activated carbon, this powder is made from wood or other materials exposed to high temperatures in an airless environment, which is then activated to increase absorption capabilities and become highly porous to attract and hold organic chemicals inside. The less-scientific definition is it’s a carbon treated chemically or physically to develop pores that allow the substance to absorb toxins — in this case plaque and stains — detoxifying the body from harmful substances.\r\n\r\nBenefits of Charcoal Toothpaste\r\n\r\nMany experts suggest, along with some research that brushing one’s teeth with this black sludge will earn you oral health gains. The following are strong possibilities:\r\n\r\n\tCavity blocker: Brushing with a charcoal toothpaste changes the pH balance in the mouth to rid molars of decayed spots by making the mouth less acidic.\r\n\tFight halitosis: Bad breath usually occurs when toxins leave the body, so using a carbon toothpaste will get rid of the dragon in the dungeon.\r\n\tGerm killer: Some variants are clinically proven to reduce bacteria by up to 90 percent.\r\n\tWhitens teeth: It can adsorb plaque and microscopic morsels responsible for staining those fangs.\r\n\r\nQuite the enticing list of pros. Then again, like with all great products, much of what’s read can also be deemed too good to be true. Certain dentists believe while the cosmetic result of this method can lead to pearly whites for some, the same won’t hold true for others. One potential side effect is it could leave tooth enamel susceptible to deterioration and erosion in the long term. Other reactions include adsorption of prescription medications, black stools, and severe constipation. Though this tends to be the case for anyone misusing activated charcoal. Which begs the question: How often can it be used?\r\n\r\nHow to Use Activated Charcoal\r\n\r\nDepending which variant is applied — powder or toothpaste – the procedure remains the same. The yellowness of your teeth will determine how often to brush. It’s recommend to use activated charcoal once daily for anywhere between 3-5 days in a row. There won’t be any need to revisit it until several months down the line. The directions are straightforward for brushing with a carbon toothpaste:\r\nStep 1: Wet the toothbrush\r\nStep 2: Carefully spread toothpaste or powder onto head of toothbrush\r\nStep 3: Brush gently for up to one minute\r\nStep 4: Rinse mouth with water\r\nStep 5: Brush tongue with water to get rid of that black color effect\r\nNo rocket science required. Now that we’re past Active Charcoal 101, open wide as we feed you a substantial dose of the market’s top carbon toothpastes.\r\n\r\nOur Favorite Charcoal Toothpastes\r\n\r\nTwin Lotus Active Charcoal Toothpaste\r\n\r\nWith almost 3,000 reviews on Amazon and a four-star average, Twin Lotus earns bragging rights for best activated charcoal toothpaste on the oral hygiene block. It’s a non-abrasive selection that features a triple-action formula to simultaneously kill bad breath, remove bacteria, and whiten teeth by removing surface stains. Advanced herbal extract leaves will create a refreshing sensation behind.\r\nGuys with fragile bridgework will find the product specializes in soothing teeth after a good rinse. But the fact it harnesses similar oral healthcare virtues as other premium toothpastes and goes beyond the call of duty makes it the champ in its category.\r\n$9.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nTerra & Co. Brilliant Black Toothpaste\r\n\r\nActivated charcoal, organic extra virgin coconut oil, tea tree oil, and baking soda — talk about a strong foundation for a carbon toothpaste. Terra Brilliant’s teeth-cleaning system is billed as a “safe alternative” to other whitening products for oral care that combats bacteria and tames plaque to produce a polished, fresh-tasting finish for diligent brushers.\r\nThe non-toxic toothpaste penetrates those ivories to protect enamel and gums from abrasions. And it’s through the blend of activated carbon and baking soda where it offers high-quality stain removal. Know the bundled toothbrush is specially designed for use with the toothpaste to never ruin the bristle coloring, plus it has polyester bristles with rounded ends for gentle sweeping across teeth.\r\n$16 at Amazon.com\r\nHello Activated Charcoal Toothpaste\r\n\r\nThis naturally friendly oral care brand designed its charcoal toothpaste to hit several dental hygiene verticals. Those checked off of the list: fresh breath, natural whitening, plaque removal, and overall oral health. Talk about some remarkable feats for a low-cost toothpaste. The product employs natural detoxifiers and odor-reducing ingredients to keep gingivitis and halitosis at bay, all while polishing up those chompers.\r\n$5.96 at Walmart.com\r\nDental Expert Active Whitening Charcoal Toothpaste\r\n\r\nThis charcoal toothpaste remains a Best Seller on Amazon with a huge international following to back up its mass appeal. An all-natural composition of active minerals and organic charcoal gets it all done — halitosis determent, bleeding gums treatment, and oral disease prevention — at an affordable price. If it does one thing best, that’s comfort the mouth with fresh mintiness to push self-confidence through the roof during close encounters with others.\r\n$15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nColgate Charcoal Clean Toothpaste\r\n\r\nFight bad breath with this mint-and-charcoal combo paste from Colgate. It applies smoothly and tastes delicious, but best of all it leaves your mouth feeling clean and refreshed.\r\n$6.98 at Amazon.com\r\nLucky Teeth Organic Charcoal Toothpaste\r\n\r\nThere are many kinds of toothpastes, but toothpaste in a jar isn’t one you see everyday. This fluoride, glycerin, and gluten-free elixir comes loaded with antibacterial and detoxifying agents to extract gums and teeth to balance natural bacteria in the mouth. Minerals aid in remineralization of enamel, while cinnamon, peppermint, and spearmint fight off mouth infections and bad breath.\r\n$27.99 for 2 at Amazon.com\r\nCuraprox Black is White Activated Charcoal Toothpaste \r\n\r\nNo chemical bleaching or harmful additives, just sheer whitening teeth power. The Black is White toothpaste excels at surface stain removal by incorporating strong ingredients from fluoride to sodium hydroxyapatite, helping create a barrier to protect teeth against cavities and pathogens. Upon inspection, many will notice tiny blue particles that are used to filter the discoloration of teeth.\r\n$20.96 at Amazon.com\r\nEcodenta Ecologic Charcoal Black Whitening Toothpaste\r\n\r\n\r\nEcodenta’s built a reputation overseas for manufacturing oral care products that fuse modern science with nature to create all-natural solutions. Odontologist-approved, this black toothpaste hosts a variety of rich ingredients spearheaded by charcoal and the unique substance Teavigo that together help fend off gum disease ensuring full dental care. This includes a nice antibacterial effect and tartar control. Stains are subdued with future ones stopped in their tracks. It does offer whitening capabilities that become noticeable through common use and leaves a subtle minty aftertaste on the tongue.\r\n$14 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nWhat's All This About Charcoal Mouthwash?\r\n\r\nWhen brushing your teeth just doesn't seem to feel complete, or brushing with the jet-black supplement doesn’t sound so pleasant, you do have the option of swishing it around. Much of the same benefits of a charcoal toothpaste are present, plus integrating it into your oral hygiene routine does compliment brushing or flossing. You won’t go broke investing in a charcoal mouthwash, so we say give one of the following selections a shot for a little added natural teeth whitening.\r\nHello Activated Charcoal Teeth Whitening Fluoride Free Mouthwash\r\n\r\nHello offers the most popular mouthwash in the category. It’s infused with charcoal, tea tree oil, and xylitol — three natural ingredients guaranteed to do away with bad breath and bacteria. No hazardous chemicals or ingredients are used, and it leaves a nice minty aftertaste after rinsing. If you’re still not satisfied, the brand also offers activated charcoal dental floss.\r\n\r\n$31.46 (3-Pack) at Amazon.com\r\nMy Magic Mud Activated Charcoal Cinnamon Rinse\r\n\r\nRelying on special blend of vegan, smart ingredients, this sweet and spicy rinse features aloe vera and turmeric for inflammatory relief, along with a “high concentration of xylitol” to protect molars from cavities. One swig might have you feeling like you’ve just rinsed with liquified Big Red gum. The brand also offers a Classic Mint version if you desire something a bit cooler.\r\n$26.99 at Walmart.com\r\nMOON Charcoal Mouthwash\r\n\r\nMOON's charcoal-infused mouth rinse promises to not only fight plaque but also brighten up the appearance of your teeth. Its formula is designed with non-toxic ingredients that won't disrupt your mouth's natural biome, while nonetheless attacking the odor-causing bacteria responsible for bad breath.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nWhether you intend on brushing with a paste or a powder, there is an activated charcoal option for you out there. It’s always a good idea to check with your dentist before any big changes in your dental routine.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Teeth Whitening Products\r\n\tBest Electric Toothbrushes\r\n\tHow to Trim Your Pubic Hair", "keywords": "Best, Charcoal, Toothpastes", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-charcoal-toothpastes/askmen-lead-image-template-1722261984.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-charcoal-toothpastes.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54853", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Never Have I Ever: Had an Eiffel Tower Threesome", "title_slug": "never-have-i-ever-had-an-eiffel-tower-threesome", "title_hash": "ef8b4e0498cdef043876ef77e588d25e", "summary": "Curious About the 'Eiffel Tower'-Style Threesome? Here's What They're Like", "content": "Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).\r\nWell, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.\r\nIt's not uncommon for humans to give sex positions cute names. The Shocker, the Cleveland Steamer, scissoring — even the Missionary position. But there's no sex position with quite such an iconic reputation as the Eiffel Tower, named for the decadent landmark in the City of Light.\r\nIn case you’re not familiar with it, the Eiffel Tower is a threesome position that occurs when one person bands over, thus rendering their genitals and mouth available for two penises at roughly the same height, which stand erect on either side. It’s often accomplished by two men and a woman, though with strap-ons and/or anal sex, any variation of genders and sexes could pull it off. \r\nAnd why the name? If the two penetrating partners on either side high-five over the receiving partner’s back, the three bodies sort of look like the iconic Eiffel Tower shape — though the high-five isn’t obligatory. \r\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Threesomes\r\nThe Eiffel Tower was constructed for the 1889 Exposition Universelle, aka the World's Fair, held to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution. The romantic structure is one of the most visited landmarks in the world. And you know what else is one of the most visited landmarks in the world? Kidding, kidding. We didn't interview your mom. But we did speak to an anonymous woman in her early 30s, who we'll call Leah.\r\nYou see, Leah didn't just try the Eiffel Tower. She tried it for the first time recently during a visit to Paris with a view of the actual Eiffel Tower. So, without further ado, let Leah describe how it happened, how fun it was, how to handle Eiffel Tower safety, and how enjoying such an experience reinvigorated her lust for life. \r\nRELATED: Never Have I Ever: Had a Devil's Threesome \r\n \r\nWhen did you first try the Eiffel Tower?\r\nMy first Eiffel Tower was on Christmas Eve when I was visiting Paris for the first time. I had been invited to spend the holiday with a group of friends I had met at a Libertine (Sex) Club a few days prior. \r\nI've never had holiday sex before and was thrilled to spend it with like-minded people eating incredible food in an apartment with a view overlooking — wait for it — the Eiffel Tower! We had a small meal and a decent amount of wine, and things got heated from there. \r\nWhat led you to decide to do it?\r\nThere was no decision, it just kind of happened. We were all playing together, and a person I had previously had sex with asked if he could fuck me while I was pleasuring another person orally. \r\nBefore your experience, what was your thought about this sex position?\r\nI think the Eiffel Tower is a go-to position for threesomes involving two penis-owners unless you're going for double penetration, which can be more advanced or something you'd want to build up to. \r\nHave you already enjoyed group sex before this?\r\nAbsolutely. \r\nRELATED: We Got Real Women to Share Their Sexy Threesome Stories\r\nWhat was the Eiffel Tower experience like?\r\nMy experience was extraordinary, because I had a perfect view of the actual Eiffel Tower. I literally stopped to exclaim to the Frenchmen that “This position is called the Eiffel Tower!! *gestures to window* That is the the Eiffel Tower!” \r\nI didn't know getting Eiffel-Towered in front of the Eiffel Tower was on my sexual bucket list, but I was thrilled to cross it off! \r\nHow did it live up to your expectations?\r\nNot going to lie; giving a blow job is so much better when you're also getting railed from behind.\r\nDid it disappoint at all?\r\nIf you don't enjoy Doggy-style or giving oral pleasure, I can see how the Eiffel Tower could be disappointing, but if you enjoy both these positions, it's a best-of-both-worlds situation! \r\nWhat did your partners think of the experience?\r\nI don't know for sure, but I think my jubilance added to their experience. It's a pretty common position for threesomes; we were all members of our sex party scenes in our respective cities (them Paris and myself, NYC). I could tell that my elation was infectious in making this particular time as exciting for them as it was for me. \r\nRELATED: What Makes Women Want to Have a Threesome\r\nYou must have felt so alive. Had you been to Paris before? After? Did you ever top this trip?\r\nThis was my first time in Paris and it cemented my love of the city. I have hence fallen in love in a sex club, heck, fallen in love in Paris many times, maybe too many times. I go back to Paris as often as possible. \r\nI think each return to Paris continues to top the last because I fall in love with new aspects, new people, and my zest for life and search for the extraordinary is always reinvigorated.\r\nRELATED: Signs She's Willing to Have a Threesome\r\nWould you do it again?\r\nYes, and I have. It's a great appetizer for a threesome or group play with two penis-owners. \r\nHow do safer sex practices come into play during the Eiffel Tower?\r\nBecause we were all members of sex-positive communities and clubs, we had a quick discussion about being negative for STIs and mandatory condom use without debate for penetrative sex. STIs can be spread through oral and even skin-to-skin contact, so always make sure you're having these conversations with any sexual partner.\r\nWhat advice do you have for someone interested in trying this?\r\nMake sure you discuss expectations with your partners, and that everyone is aware of safety. With thrusting from behind, you could end up with a choking hazard if you're pushed too far on the penis in your mouth (which may be your thing and more power to you!) To avoid this, focus your oral motions more up and down instead of forward and back. \r\nRELATED: How to Discuss Having a Threesome\r\nWhat has everyone's reaction been when you told them that you got Eiffel Towered in front of the Eiffel Tower?\r\nI'm lucky that my friends are just as — often, more! — hedonistic as I am, and they always delight when I tell this story. It has a special place in my heart because it's comforting to know you can find your people all over the world.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Have an Actually Good ThreesomeNever Have I Ever: Had a ThreesomeHow to Find a Third Partner for a Threesome", "keywords": "Never, Have, Ever:, Had, Eiffel, Tower, Threesome", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/never-have-i-ever-had-an-eiffel-tower-threesome/askmen-lead-image-template-1722280729.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/never-have-i-ever-had-an-eiffel-tower-threesome.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54852", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How You Should Work Out at Every Age", "title_slug": "how-you-should-work-out-at-every-age", "title_hash": "a76283416c925de1e0a9f442dd7dd8c3", "summary": "Expert-Approved Tips to Evolve Your Training Protocols as You Age", "content": "No matter how old or young you may be, there's one constant that you can always incorporate into your lifestyle to keep you feeling and looking your best: exercise. Unfortunately, however, the workouts you did when you were in your 20s may no longer fly when you reach your 50s or 60s. Our bodies age, our joints get a little creaky, and our muscle quality naturally begins to decline. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us, but that's no reason to ditch exercise altogether! You just have to learn to adapt a little bit, whether you've been working out your whole life, or you're beginning to get into this healthy habit at a later stage of life. \r\nRELATED: Why It's Important to Take Rest Days\r\nYour fitness needs may differ depending on your own personal health goals, your prior experience, and of course, your limitations, but we felt it was important to gather some general guidelines to help you along the way, no matter where you are on your wellness journey. The earlier you can establish a sustainable fitness routine for your overall health, the better, but that doesn't mean you can't jump into the game later in life. That's why we spoke to a series of fitness experts who shared their pro tips for working out at any age, from your 20s all the way through to your golden years.\r\n\r\nHow to Work Out In Your 20s\r\n\r\nIn your 20s, you're essentially setting the tone for a lifetime of fitness, so you want to make sure your exercise regimen is pretty well-rounded and incorporates plenty of high-energy workouts to help you strengthen your core. You'll want to aim to get in some cardio at least three times per week, though five times would do your body even better. This can look like running, cycling, swimming, or even just walking — whatever you enjoy best — and feel free to switch it up here and there to get different muscles moving.\r\nSpeaking of muscles, you'll also want to incorporate weight training, whether or not you're hoping to gain muscle. Two days per week is a good goal, but be sure not to work the same muscle group two days in a row so that you can give your body proper rest. \r\nBrandon Cullen, co-founder and Chief Concept Officer at MADabolic suggests mastering the basics at this age, and breaking your weekly workouts down to two days of strength training, two days of anaerobic interval training, and two days of long slow duration (or \"LSD\") cardio. Anaerobic interval training is an all-out cardio activity — such as running or cycling — that brings your heart rate up above 85 percent of your maximum heart rate, while LSD cardio is focused on movement of a lower intensity at a steady pace that lasts one to two hours to help you build up endurance (think a slow jog, or even hiking).\r\nSteve Halloran, certified personal trainer and Chief Experience Officer/Co-Founder of RockBox Fitness also notes that stretching and active recovery should take place after every workout, no matter how old you are.\r\n\"Proper recovery allows you to stay consistent with your workouts, which is key to maintaining an active lifestyle, building strength and executing proper form,\" Halloran says.\r\nYou will also want to begin building a foundation of mobility, flexibility, and balance exercises in your younger years, as well. Incorporating activities such as yoga will help you prevent injury and could even improve your athletic performance.\r\n\r\nHow to Work Out In Your 30s\r\n\r\nAs you enter your 30s, your workout schedule might look very much like it did in your 20s. However, you may also begin to find that recovery takes a little longer after your workouts. And, not to freak you out, but your body naturally starts losing muscle around age 30, so you should already be regarding your workouts as preventative medicine at this age.\r\n\"The saying 'If you don’t use it, you lose it,' is very real when it comes to muscle mass as we age,\" says Cathy Spencer-Browning, VP of Programming and Training with MOSSA. \"On average, an inactive individual will lose roughly three to five percent of muscle mass each decade after the age of 30. It may not sound like much, but progressively, it reduces our strength and function.\"\r\nShe goes on to explain that the technical term for this muscle mass loss is sarcopenia. Fortunately, the good news is that you can reverse sarcopenia and boost your muscle quality with resistance training (a.k.a strength training). If you're not quite sure where to start, however, this would also be a great time to consider a personal trainer to help you master your form and strike the right balance of lifting exercises that will be most beneficial for you.\r\nWhether on your own or with a trainer, Cullen recommends training with purpose at this age, getting in two days of LSD cardio as well as four days of strength-driven interval training, which focuses on strength, cardio, and athleticism. To switch things up on the cardio front, Halloran suggests boxing for a great calorie burn and added stress relief, and rowing for a heart-pumping, yet low-impact exercise that's great for working around any pre-existing injuries.\r\nRELATED: How to Get Ripped\r\nClub Pilates instructor Freddy Ocansey also points out the importance of strengthening your pelvic floor and your glutes to stave off lower back pain, improve your balance, and set the tone for increased hip stability early on. He recommends incorporating Pilates into your fitness regimen at any age to help in this arena. \r\n\"Individuals as young as 16 can really begin to reap the benefits of Pilates, especially those who are active in sports,\" Ocansey says. \"It can help men age healthily by decreasing stress, and improving posture, balance, and coordination, as well as maintaining and increasing muscle mass, and improving range of motion! The benefits are truly limitless.\"\r\n\r\nHow to Work Out In Your 40s\r\n\r\nIt's no secret that life just tends to get busier as we age. While it may be more difficult to find time to hit the gym for strength training exercises, you really want to make sure you're doing more than just cardio in your 40s. Cardio is great, of course, and you should incorporate it into your routine most days of the week in the form of a jog, bike ride, moderate nature hike, or whatever else you enjoy. (You can even turn them into kid-friendly outings if family obligations tend to prevent you from keeping active.) But, as mentioned in your thirties, your muscle quality and strength continue to decline as you age, as does your bone density, so a couple days of strength training needs to make its way into your schedule, too. \r\nCullen suggests keeping up with the same pace as in your 30s: four days of strength-driven interval training and two days of LSD cardio. If you have a hard time fitting that in, however, you should at least aim to do a full-body strength-training workout two times per week, with at least one day of rest in between. This will ensure that you work every major muscle group without having to come up with a more complicated or time-consuming fitness regimen.\r\nHalloran recommends moves that engage your entire body and multiple muscle groups, such as pushups and squats, as they will help to build stabilization in your core and reduce the daily aches and pains that can come along with aging and lack of exercise. \r\n\"Your focus during this time is to partake in a diverse range of exercises or activities to ensure the proper mix of both strength-building and cardio-centered movements,\" he says.\r\nOcansey agrees, pointing out the importance of abdominal work, exercises that challenge balance and coordination, and moves that incorporate spinal articulation (as long as you have a healthy spine, of course).\r\n\"The earlier you begin to incorporate exercises that move in all planes, the more beneficial it will be for your future,\" he says. \"Think of how you want to live when you are 50, 60, and 70, and start preparing your body in a way that is sustainable.\"\r\n\r\nHow to Work Out In Your 50s\r\n\r\nIt should come as no surprise, but your bones and muscles continue to slow their development in your 50s, making resistance training absolutely crucial at this age. You should put a particular focus on building or maintaining strength in your hips, shoulders, and your legs. Not only will this ensure a strong basis for just about any movement you do, it can also help you stave off knee pain as stronger muscles will ease the strain on your joints. If you were never much of a weight-lifter, however, you can still build up a lot of strength without gym equipment.\r\n\"I think the most important weight we should be able to lift with ease in our life is without a doubt our own bodyweight,\" says Spencer-Browning.\r\nShe goes on to explain that \"relative strength\" (that is, our strength relative to our own bodyweight) is one of the most valuable types of strength as we age. She suggests incorporating bodyweight squats and push ups into your fitness routine to help strengthen your muscles and improve joint stability — two factors that are critical to working out safely.\r\nThe real key to exercising in your 50s, however, is consistency. Cullen suggests sticking to a regimen with three days of strength training and three days of LSD cardio to help you age vibrantly. But perhaps even more important is carving out ample time for recovery, according to Dr. Ken Kaufman, co-founder and CEO of Sarasota Sports Medicine and the spring training team chiropractor for the Baltimore Orioles and the Pittsburgh Pirates.\r\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out?\r\n\"As the years progress, the fluidity of our tissues begins to decline as our collagen in our soft tissues dehydrates,\" Dr. Kaufman says. \"So, as we age, we need to take these factors into consideration and allow for more recovery between hard workouts, schedule lighter active recovery days, and realize that although the mind says you can perform like you're 20, your body might not be able to.\"\r\nHe goes on to recommend cycling lighter-weight days with heavier-weight days to decrease the chance of injury, and incorporating resistance bands in your workouts to develop the deep stabilizing muscles of the joints. He notes that it is particularly beneficial for chest workouts so that you can maintain strong shoulder muscles, including the rotator cuff.\r\n\r\nHow to Work Out In Your 60s, 70s, and Beyond\r\n\r\nAs you enter your 60s, it may be more critical to fit in exercise than ever before. Whatever you can do — a walk around the neighborhood, at-home bodyweight exercises, water aerobics, or even following along with a yoga class on TV or online — will be incredibly beneficial for your body, especially since your cardiovascular levels decrease at this age.\r\n\"Participating in light, but consistent cardio-driven activities in your 60s and 70s will help to raise your heart rate and get your blood flowing, all at your own pace and within the bounds of any preexisting conditions you may have,\" says Halloran. \"The key is to exercise consistently — at least four times per week — for a similar amount of time each session to ensure your body is ready to work.\"\r\nCullen agrees with this approach, recommending two days of low-impact strength training, and up to four days of steady, low-impact cardio, such as swimming, cycling, and rowing. These activities can pack just as much of an aerobic punch as others that might be a lot more difficult on your joints. After all, the ultimate goal at this age is to maintain your health, not cause yourself any injuries by pushing further than your body will really allow.\r\n\"Mobility and balance exercises are key to staying healthy ... and stretching a couple times per day can combat stiff muscles and poor mobility,\" adds Austin Martinez, MS, CSCS, ATC and Director of Education for StretchLab. \"Balance tends to get worse in our 60s and 70s, so unilateral exercises and practices that challenge it — like yoga — can be beneficial.\"\r\nMartinez goes on to say that stretching is especially beneficial for older adults who may live more sedentary lifestyles, potentially resulting in poor posture and muscles that have begun to atrophy. And while stretching and recovery play a big role in fitness at any age, he notes that its benefits are even more crucial in your golden years. These can include improved flexibility and posture, increased circulation, reduced stress, and perhaps most importantly, injury prevention.\r\n\r\nHow to Work Out At Any Age\r\n\r\nWhether you're 25 or 65, it's never too late to start focusing on your fitness. Alternatively, you should never let your age hold you back from continuing to work out responsibly, so long as you make appropriate adaptations to prevent injury. After all, it's only natural that our priorities change, though maintaining our health should always be at the top of our list.\r\n\"While at a young age, our focus may be more so on aesthetics,\" says Ocansey. \"[But] as we age, we begin to focus on enjoying things that matter at a deeper level. Simple things like participating in activities of daily living, hobbies, tying shoes, and playing with children or grandchildren become more important than having 'six pack abs.'\"\r\nUltimately, your goal is to establish a healthy and sustainable workout routine to maintain your strength, flexibility, and circulation, and thus ensure that you can keep moving the way you want for decades to come. And, no matter your age, you can start establishing that routine right now.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Build a Home Gym\r\n\tDo You Have Enough Cardio in Your Weekly Workouts?\r\n\tHow to Get Better at Pull-Ups", "keywords": "How, You, Should, Work, Out, Every, Age", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-you-should-work-out-at-every-age/askmen-lead-image-template-1722344382.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/how-you-should-work-out-at-every-age.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54851", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tinder Singles Flock to Paris to Meet During the Summer Olympics", "title_slug": "tinder-singles-flock-to-paris-to-meet-during-the-summer-olympics", "title_hash": "605b9a79aaf83f7270ccb585ae62b986", "summary": "Taking a Closer Look at the \"Tinder Games\" in the City of Love", "content": "The Summer Olympic Games are in full swing, and while all the world has eyes on Paris, the City of Love is playing host to tens of thousands of visitors eager to play a different kind of game. According to data collected by Tinder, there has been a staggering 20% increase in Swipe activity in France since the start of the Games, with an 103% increase in Tinder Passport usage set in France.\r\nTranslation? A whole lot of people are trying to use the Olympic Games to meet and hook up. The full data set Tinder shared is even more granular, and reveals some fascinating insights into how impactful a major sporting event can be on the local hookup scene.\r\nRELATED: Best Dating Apps for Hooking Up\r\nOne key takeaway is that a whole lot of Tinder users are making good use of Passport Mode, the feature that allows them to search and swipe on singles far away from where they actually live. It's extremely useful for people who travel or who are planning on moving soon, since you can just set a city or drop a pin on a location and start swiping as if you're already living there, allowing you to arrange meetups and dates in advance. \r\nAccording to Tinder, Passport Mode is used over 145,000 times a day, amounting to over 100 billion kilometers of virtual travel each year, but there are three countries in particular that are using Passport Mode to hone in on France in general and Paris in particular: the United States, Brazil and Turkey.\r\nThere's also been a noticeable uptick in the inclusion of sports as an interest in Tinder user bios, with football, basketball and swimming ranking as the most popular, though both basketball and gymnastics have the distinction of being the fastest growing sports among user interests. \r\nAnd while it's almost certainly the case that the vast majority of these new users are fans rather than athletes, Tinder has shared some data suggesting that Olympians are actually looking for love between events as well. Tinder user profiles in Paris have seen a 52% increase in the number of people listing \"Olympian\" in their job description, and a 43% increase in those listing \"athlete,\" which suggests that some lucky people out there have the chance to hook up with a potential Olympic medalist. \r\nThere's also a (relatively) new Tinder feature that athletes, celebrities and anyone with a high profile can appreciate: Incognito Mode. It's a premium feature, only available to those paying for Tinder, but it's extremely useful, especially if you're trying to keep a low profile, because it hides you from the general search, only making you discoverable to people you've already swiped on. \r\nAre some of the Olympic Games' most high profile athletes secretly swiping left and right between bouts for the podium? The only way to find out is to download Tinder and set your location to France. Bonne chance! \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Use Tinder for Hooking UpHow to Write an Online Dating ProfileBrain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life", "keywords": "Tinder, Singles, Flock, Paris, Meet, During, the, Summer, Olympics", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "102", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/tinder-singles-flock-to-paris-to-meet-during-the-summer-olympics/askmen-lead-image-template-1722276409.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/tinder-singles-flock-to-paris-to-meet-during-the-summer-olympics.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54850", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Streaming Workouts", "title_slug": "best-streaming-workouts", "title_hash": "1488361f097fb65cfe11f8d6cfdb5957", "summary": "Get Fit From the Comfort of Your Own Home With These 7 Streaming Workouts", "content": "One of the major trends in fitness in recent years, spurred by pandemic-induced global lockdowns, is a shift towards home workouts. Tons of people spent big money on fitness equipment and made room in their homes to do workouts, removing two of the main obstacles, but there are still some barriers to consistency that are more of an issue in a home than a commercial gym: instruction and motivation.\r\nIf you're someone who struggles with motivation or would benefit from more guided workouts, you're in luck, because a bevy of workout streaming services have popped up to help you get the personalized guidance you need to get in the best shape of your life. \r\nRELATED: How You Should Work Out at Every Age\r\nFrom classes involving equipment like treadmills, exercise bikes, and rowing machines to cardio and strength training fitness sessions and yoga instruction, there's a workout out there to fit every person's skill level, interest, and needs for any given day.\r\nWhile most streaming workouts are available on all platforms — smartphone, iPad/tablet, computer, and TV streaming devices (Firestick, Roku, etc) — some are only available on a smartphone, so keep that in mind when you're signing up for a membership.\r\n\r\nApple Fitness+\r\n\r\n\r\nWith the introduction of the Apple Watch, the largest tech company in the world threw its weight into fitness in a big way, and Apple Fitness Plus is the result. It's a subscription-based online workout platform, giving members access to a wide array of instructional classes, covering the basics (strength training, yoga, pilates, HIIT) and some extras you won't find on most other online workout platforms: workouts for the elderly or the pregnant, for example.\r\nIf you're already plugged into the Apple ecosystem, you can get a lot out of Apple Fitness Plus, which can use your Apple devices to give you advanced fitness metrics like your heart rate, blood pressure, blood oxygen level, and calories burned.\r\nOne thing you'll notice right away from Apple is their high production value across all classes, as well as the caliber of their instructors. It's not a cheap service, by any means, but if you're using it on the daily, the price is more than fair for what you get.\r\nPros: Comprehensive workout offerings, lasting from 5 to 45 minutes, involving yoga, HIIT, pilates, and strength training, among others; massive user base; pairs well with Apple devices to offer you advanced fitness metrics\r\nCons: Most of the classes aren't separated by level of fitness, so beginners might struggle to find a foothold; to get the most out of it, you need to have an Apple Watch\r\nCost: $12.99 per month or $99.99 per year\r\nSign up at Apple.com\r\n\r\nBODi (Formerly Beachbody on Demand)\r\n\r\n\r\nWith more than 1,500 workout choices, BODi allows you to fit in a sweat session whenever you can, even if you just have 10 minutes to spare.\r\nChoose from a vast selection of programs, that run the gamut from cardio and strength training to mixed martial arts and yoga. Each program will tell you how long it lasts (anywhere from 5 to 90 days), how much time you should expect to put in each day to get the results you want, and how intense the regimen is. \r\nJust getting started? Try a beginner-level regimen like SHIFT SHOP. Already have a head start on fitness? The more advanced Transform:20 may be a better fit for you. However, if you just can't decide on a program, you can let the handy program selector find the perfect fit for you. Whichever workout plan you decide to pick, you can rest assured that it's led by an expert Beachbody Super Trainer — and if you don’t happen to like it, you can always try another.\r\nPros: Little to no equipment is required, depending on your choice of workout. It also provides customizable meal plans, recipes, and cooking videos to help you meet your fitness goals from all angles.\r\nCons: You don't interact directly with your trainer. However, you can tap into support from a free coach, expert fitness and nutrition advice, and a motivational member community.\r\nCost: Packages from $15 per month\r\nSign up at BeachbodyOnDemand.com\r\n\r\nDaily Burn\r\n\r\n\r\nSimilar to Beachbody, Daily Burn offers a multitude of streaming workout programs to match your fitness level whether you're a beginner or a pro. Choose from cardio, yoga, Spartan training, bodyweight regimens and more. They even offer super-quick \"Mini Burns\" — 5-minute workouts you can easily conquer between e-meetings when you just can't sit at your desk anymore.\r\nNot only do they have thousands of different videos on tap, but they also host a full-body group workout every day. New ones are on hold during the coronavirus outbreak, but you can access the past database for now as they continue to curate a different daily workout to keep you on your toes. There's also an active member community where you can find support and motivation 24/7.\r\nPros: Little to no equipment is required for most workouts. They've also recently introduced audio workouts — and meditation sessions too — so you can take your trainer and some heart-pumping music with you on-the-go.\r\nCons: It may not have as wide of a range of workouts as some others — especially for those looking for more advanced fitness — but you definitely won't get bored with the selection.\r\nCost: From $7.50 per month\r\nSign up at DailyBurn.com\r\n\r\nAaptiv\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're someone who gets bored just working out in their living room — or your home is a bit too cramped for a sweat session these days — Aaptiv could be the perfect fit for you. The audio-only workouts lend themselves quite well to outdoor spaces so you can get some fresh air while you get your heart pumping.\r\nWith Aaptiv, you'll gain unlimited access to thousands of workouts with dozens more being released each week. There are sessions tailored to strength training, yoga and outdoor running, and they even have treadmill, elliptical and cycling workouts if you do happen to have some equipment at home and need to add a little structure and motivation.\r\nPlus, the workouts are set to songs you've actually heard before — not some crappy stock tracks.\r\nPros: Offers a lot of options that don't involve you sweating on a mat in front of the TV for an hour. It can also really amp up your usage of any home gym machines that you already own.\r\nCons: No one-on-one interaction; the only coaching is powered by AI\r\nCost: $8.33/month after 7-day free trial\r\nSign up at Aaptiv.com\r\n\r\nClassPass\r\n\r\n\r\nJust because gyms and studios are closed, doesn't mean you can't still benefit from a ClassPass membership. Normally, the service helps you book popular in-person fitness classes near you. However, you can still use it to reserve your space in livestreaming classes and pay for each as you go, with all proceeds supporting studios through June 1. Or, you can take advantage of their free (yes, free) library of on-demand classes!\r\nSetting up a free account will grant you unlimited access to 4,000 on-demand workouts — both audio and video — led by expert trainers who walk you through all the moves. \r\nPros: Free workouts, of course! But you also have the option to support your favorite studios by purchasing credits for live streaming classes.\r\nCons: The free on-demand workouts are, of course, not interactive.\r\nCost: Varies depending on how many livestreaming workouts you purchase, if any.\r\nGet started with a free account at ClassPass.com\r\n\r\nPeloton\r\n\r\n\r\nNope, you don't need to drop thousands of dollars on a Peloton Bike or Tread to benefit from the brand's popular streaming workouts. \r\nYou can try out the Peloton app for free for 90 days and gain access to thousands of live and on-demand classes. If you already have a stationary bike or treadmill at home, you can really ramp up your workouts with the cycling and running classes — or take them on-the-go if you're heading outdoors for a solo sweat session. There are also a ton of other workouts that focus on strength, toning, yoga and meditation if you don't have any equipment at home.\r\nNo matter which you choose, you'll benefit from an on-demand studio experience right on your smartphone, tablet, TV or laptop. You can even keep yourself motivated via stats at-a-glance on your Apple Watch.\r\nPros: Offers a ton of choices no matter your means, and you can filter classes by type, length and even your favorite music.\r\nCons: Might not be the optimal choice if you don't have a bicycle or treadmill at home, but it's still worth checking out if you can get nearly three months for free.\r\nCost: From $12.99/month after 90-day free trial\r\nSign up at OnePeloton.com\r\n\r\nFind Your Trainer\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're really missing your personal trainer these days, FindYourTrainer has just launched virtual sessions to get you back into gear. In a previous timeline, FYT was dedicated to providing certified, insured and background-checked in-home trainers but, of course, the world looks a little different right now. So, they've adapted to make their one-on-one fitness training as safe and accessible as possible.\r\nJust pick the perfect trainer for you by taking the FYT quiz, then choose to meet via Skype, FaceTime, Hangouts or Facebook Messenger. Together, you'll build a training plan to keep you in shape, no matter your current fitness level.\r\nPros: If you're looking for personalized one-on-one attention, this is definitely your best choice.\r\nCons: No workouts to stream on-demand.\r\nCost: $29/session\r\nGet started at FindYourTrainer.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Exercise Equipment Under $100\r\n\tBest Walking Shoes for Men\r\n\tHow to Build Your Biceps Without Ever Doing a Curl", "keywords": "Best, Streaming, Workouts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-streaming-workouts/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1722373213.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-streaming-workouts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:29:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54528", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Have More Fun in Repro Politics With Special Guest Lizz Winstead", "title_slug": "how-to-have-more-fun-in-repro-politics-with-special-guest-lizz-winstead", "title_hash": "c30d44c6a36fe5848416adce1c13db84", "summary": "The founder of Abortion Access Front joins Jess and Imani in the first of four summer episodes.\nThe post How to Have More Fun in Repro Politics With Special Guest Lizz Winstead appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Boom! Lawyered is back for a summer session with four episodes before fall—and first up is Lizz Winstead, the founder of Abortion Access Front and co-creator of the Daily Show.

It’s a smorgasbord of all things reproductive rights, including serious things like expanding the courts and abortion access and not-so-serious things like a debate between “Anthony Comstock” and Minnesota Sen. Tina Smith that Winstead will moderate in the fall, and starting a band called Mife and Misotones.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post How to Have More Fun in Repro Politics With Special Guest Lizz Winstead appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "How, Have, More, Fun, Repro, Politics, With, Special, Guest, Lizz, Winstead", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/BL-Card-S08-Ep27-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/25/how-to-have-more-fun-in-repro-politics-with-special-guest-lizz-winstead/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:12:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54527", "lang_id": "1", "title": "As a College Student, I Hope the Presidential Election Is a Wake-Up Call for Our Country", "title_slug": "as-a-college-student-i-hope-the-presidential-election-is-a-wake-up-call-for-our-country", "title_hash": "96e3b830be71a817a8060e06da4f57e6", "summary": "I've become cynical in the last decade, but I am holding out hope that Vice President Kamala Harris can lead the country into a new chapter.\nThe post As a College Student, I Hope the Presidential Election Is a Wake-Up Call for Our Country appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This piece first appeared in our weekly newsletter, The Fallout.

By now you’ve heard President Joe Biden dropped out of the presidential race on Sunday and endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris, which either puts the nation on a path to more progressive reform and the first woman president or catapults Donald Trump back into the White House.

As a college student, I am excited for the possibility of Harris winning the nomination at the Democratic National Convention, and I’m eager to see who she chooses as her running mate. However, I am also terrified by the chaos because it has made the results of this presidential election so unclear, and the impact of the outcome will last longer than a four-year term.

This turn of events has to be a resounding wake-up call for our country. I was worried that choosing Biden to beat Trump in 2020 was putting a placeholder president in the White House, and one that wouldn’t offer much change. But I was wrong. And with Harris as the presumptive nominee, the country gets an even stronger advocate for reproductive rights.

Just look at her recent record:

Co-sponsored the Women’s Health Protection Act in 2018
Was among 13 senators in 2018 who brought forth the Maternal Care Access and Reducing Emergencies (CARE) Act, which focused on reducing racial disparities in the maternal mortality rate
In 2019, co-sponsored the EACH Woman Act—repealing the Hyde Amendment, which prevented federal funds from being used to provide abortions.

By Monday evening, Harris had already amassed the endorsements of enough delegates to clinch the nomination. Delegates from more than half the states—including California, Florida, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas—have already pledged their support. The rest are expected by the end of the week.

I’ve become very cynical in the past decade, but I am holding out hope that Harris can lead us into a new chapter. I am tired of choosing the best of the worst options when I stare down a ballot, and if she wins, a little of my faith in our country will be restored.

Harris would not only be the first woman president and the first Black and Asian woman president, but would open doors for more radical change. I’ve decided that we cannot be complacent with blind trust in the Democratic Party, nor paralyzed with fear of what another four years under Trump would bring. For the first time in my lifetime, the Harris nomination presents a real choice to move forward, and I hope the country takes it.

The post As a College Student, I Hope the Presidential Election Is a Wake-Up Call for Our Country appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", College, Student, Hope, the, Presidential, Election, Wake-Up, Call, for, Our, Country", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "102", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Fallout_KamalaHasArrived_-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/25/as-a-college-student-i-hope-the-presidential-election-is-a-wake-up-call-harris/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-31 03:12:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54526", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why ‘Just Voting’ Isn’t That Easy for Out-of-State College Students", "title_slug": "why-just-voting-isnt-that-easy-for-out-of-state-college-students", "title_hash": "32bf41f728b15d211c185cf45ac294bf", "summary": "Across the country, students who attend college outside of their home states face barriers when trying to vote at their campus addresses.\nThe post Why ‘Just Voting’ Isn’t That Easy for Out-of-State College Students appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This story is part of our monthly series, Campus Dispatch. Read the rest of the stories in the series here.

Around 1 in 5 college students in the United States attend school outside their home state, a figure that has been growing over the past few decades. For four years, these students have two homes—in legal terms, dual residency—which enables them to choose whether they want to vote at their pre-college or campus addresses.

Convenience and politics play a role in students’ decisions on where and whether to vote. According to a 2020 report by Tufts University, students who register at their campus address turn out to vote at higher rates. Students are also more likely to register at their campus address if they attend college in a battleground state, such as Florida or Wisconsin.

But battleground states are often the most difficult places for out-of-state students to cast their votes—and this will not be unique for the upcoming presidential election. Early registration deadlines, strict voter identification requirements, and a lack of nearby polling stations discourage students from voting at their campus addresses and suppress the youth vote. When such laws are in place, out-of-state students are unable to make a meaningful choice on where to vote.

Tait Ferguson graduated last year from Denison University in Ohio, where he served as co-coordinator of the student group DU Votes, which works to educate students about voting and get them registered. In the 2020 presidential election, Denison had the highest voter registration rate in the country from the more than 840 institutions that participated in a nationwide challenge, at 99.6 percent. Ferguson attributes DU Votes’ success to the group’s “hyper nonpartisanship” and a robust public engagement campaign that included text-banking, voter registration reminders on housing forms, outreach by student ambassadors, and speaker events.

“It was an as-much-as-we-can, all-the-time approach,” he said.

According to Ferguson, out-of-state students at Denison, who make up 78 percent of the student population, face many challenges when trying to vote. For one, college students, already inundated with information, often struggle to keep track of registration deadlines that vary by state. In particular, those who opted to vote in Ohio but previously lived in other states were caught off guard by voter registration deadlines that hit 30 days before the election. In addition, Ferguson noted that partisan groups, which historically played a role in motivating and mobilizing voters four years ago, had weakened at Denison in the pandemic’s aftermath.

Complying with the law

But the biggest challenge for out-of-state students in Ohio emerged in 2023 with HB 458, which requires Ohio voters to present photo ID at the polls.

Emily Vermillion, associate director of Denison’s Alford Community Leadership and Involvement Center, said that prior to the law, the university could provide students with cost-free utility bills—accepted as a form of voter ID—through a partnership with on-campus mail services. After HB 458 passed, students in Ohio who wanted to vote in-person had to obtain a photo ID from the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles, or present a passport or military card.

Not only was this process difficult for anyone with limited transportation options, but obtaining an Ohio photo ID also meant that for out-of-state students, their home state driver’s licenses would be invalidated. Out-of-state students are also unlikely to bring documents necessary for obtaining an ID, such as birth certificates and passports, to their dorms.

Out-of-state students could file absentee ballots with the last four digits of their Social Security numbers rather than photo IDs. However, increased use of absentee ballots made it more difficult for student outreach organizations like DU Votes to follow up with students to remind them to cast their ballots, Vermillion said.

“More students, anecdotally that I’ve heard from, are choosing to not register in Ohio, primarily because we’re one of the places where it’s more difficult to register and to vote in the country,” said Alexis Crosby, Ohio state coordinator for the Campus Vote Project, which works with colleges, universities, and election officials across the country to reduce barriers to the student vote.

Crosby underscored the detrimental impact that limited access to in-person voting can have on campus civic engagement.

“Much of the excitement around voting is the ability to vote in-person,” Crosby said. “And if you don’t have a voter ID and you’re running into barriers, you don’t have that option to vote in-person in Ohio. And so, a lot of the turnout events on different college campuses have had to shift in terms of how to create excitement around participating in our democracy, etc., when no matter where you’re voting, you’re going to have to vote by mail regardless.”

Crosby and Vermillion both raised concerns over the recently introduced HB 472, which would require an Ohio photo ID to register to vote and request an absentee ballot, replacing the existing regulation that allows for the use of a Social Security number. If passed, the law would drastically limit out-of-state students’ ability to vote in Ohio.

“Students would not be able to vote in the state of Ohio unless they surrender their out-of-state license and get their Ohio ID,” Vermillion said.

Protecting students’ ability to vote at their campus address is crucial to promoting democratic participation. Crosby pointed out that in college, out-of-state students’ lives are not completely centered in the places they and their families are from.

“They can’t get back to where their families live to make sure they can still cast the ballot if, for instance, their mail-in ballot doesn’t come on time,” Crosby said. “But if they switch their registration, if there’s issues with the mail or things like that, then they can vote in-person pretty easily.” In Ohio, though, “that is no longer the case.”

Ohio isn’t the only state where college voters have faced mounting barriers to democratic participation.

In 2011, Wisconsin passed Act 23, which enacted strict voting laws, including requiring student IDs include an issuance date, an expiration date within two years of issuance, and a signature to be used for voting. It also required students to show additional proof of enrollment when using this form of identification to vote. Caroline Smith, the programs director at the student voting rights advocacy nonprofit Andrew Goodman Foundation, which challenged the law in court, characterized it as one of the country’s strictest voter ID laws. While overall student voting rates increased between 2012 and 2016, Wisconsin saw one of the largest declines in student voting rates in that same time period.

“Students are working to mobilize to get new student IDs that comply with state voter ID specifications until we can get that law changed,” Smith said.

Andrew Goodman ambassadors at a number of schools, including Western Carolina University and University of Wisconsin-Madison, have worked with their administrations to have existing student IDs approved as voter identification or create new cards that students can obtain free of charge to vote at their campus addresses.

In addition to voter ID laws, restrictions on early voting also limit college students’ ability to vote. In 2018, the Andrew Goodman Foundation, alongside the League of Women Voters and student plaintiffs, sued Florida Secretary of State Kenneth Detzner for a 2014 administrative rule prohibiting college campuses from serving as early polling locations. After a federal judge struck down the ban, nearly 60,000 residents—disproportionately youth and people of color—voted at college polling locations in 2018.

“We’ve gotten into other legal battles, one of them being at Bard College in New York,” Smith said. “That legal battle happened over a decade and finally resulted in establishing a polling site on Bard’s campus, and then actually a law later on inspired by that win that mandated polling sites on campus in New York for campuses that have over 300 registered voters.”

What college administrations can do

According to a report released by the Brennan Center for Justice, 28 states now have more restrictive voting laws than they did during the 2020 election. Despite rising barriers as the 2024 election approaches, there is no shortage of activism to safeguard voting rights and promote democratic participation. Students are hosting campus voter registration drives across the country, and organizations such as the Brennan Center and the League of Women Voters are challenging restrictive laws in court.

University administrators can also take some steps to facilitate student participation in democracy.

Tedd Vanadilok, director of Santa Clara University’s Center for Student Involvement, said that the university added a voter registration reminder that always appears in the college’s learning management system, which students use to access their coursework.

“That way, if they’re in the system daily, it’s basically an ad that they’ll constantly see,” he said.

Thomas Dunne, Harvard College’s dean of students and the former deputy dean of undergraduate students at Princeton University, started Princeton’s Vote100 campaign in 2018 after noticing low student voter turnout rates.

“There’s not voter apathy—what there is is this information gap,” Dunne said. “And so, our top priority was filling that information gap with additional resources.”

“For many of these students, the first time they vote in a national election is when they’re in college,” Dunne continued. “People are looking at their first decision being, do they want to cast a vote where they’re living as a student, or do they want to vote in their home community? I think that a lot of students very reasonably have a strong commitment to casting their ballot in their home state.”

To support students voting in a number of different constituencies, the Vote100 campaign provides students with information on deadlines to request and submit absentee ballots, as well as video guides on where drop boxes are located. Princeton also integrated up-to-date voter registration reminders through TurboVote into student onboarding.

At both Princeton and Harvard, Dunne has encouraged students to mail their absentee ballots as early as possible so that academic obligations didn’t get in the way of voting. Dunne added that for many students, mailing in a ballot will be the first time they use a U.S. postage stamp.

“Making stamps accessible on your campus is a big deal,” Crosby said.

While colleges cannot provide stamps for free, they can make them available at bookstores and other on-campus locations.

“The process of voting by mail is pretty complicated,” Crosby added.

Smith also pointed out that one of the biggest barriers for student voters (and voters in general) is time.

“Students often have classes, exams, sports practices, jobs, and other obligations on Election Day that leave them without enough time to vote in person,” Smith said. “The more opportunity someone has to vote, the more likely they are to be able to do it. Any effort to limit that flexibility is voter suppression, and we know this is especially true for students.”

The post Why ‘Just Voting’ Isn’t That Easy for Out-of-State College Students appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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This story is part of our monthly series, Campus Dispatch. Read the rest of the stories in the series here.

As the conservative Supreme Court sets out to hear next term United States v. Skrmetti, which challenges Tennessee’s ban on gender-affirming care for minors, it is clear that trans rights in the South are not only up for debate, but also under severe threat. Colleges and universities, alongside establishment politicians, are just some of the many institutions of power in the country that are unwilling to hear the demands of young trans people and medical professionals.

But in Tennessee, anti-trans attacks on young people are nothing new.

In 2022, when I was a junior at Vanderbilt University, my campus became the center of an anti-trans media frenzy. Matt Walsh, a conservative podcaster and columnist for the right-wing publication the Daily Wire, targeted Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s gender-affirming care clinic, which is one of the only trans-centered health-care centers available in the South.

What began as tweet thread conspiracy theories that were endorsed by conservative lawmakers like Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee quickly developed into a large media story about Vanderbilt physicians performing “genital mutilation.” It led to massive amounts of online attacks, threats, and trolling, alongside mobilizations against genital mutilations by neo-Nazi, Christian nationalist, and right-wing aggressors at the state capitol.

The threats online also led to the shutdown of the KC Potter Center, a queer-affirming space on campus, and our campus LGBTQ+ leaders reported threats and safety concerns. Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s trans health clinic even had to take down its website for at least a month.

In the midst of these attacks on both undergraduates and medical professionals alike, our university remained completely silent until students began agitating through a public postering campaign. Vanderbilt finally issued a statement days later that said the medical center and the university were distinct entities, but did not address the issue of trans rights on campus and in Tennessee at large. One student’s anonymous op-ed in the Vanderbilt Hustler illuminated how trans Vanderbilt students felt:

“I was afraid of legislators, who seek to eradicate me. I was afraid of Vanderbilt administrators, who, other than a late and vague email from [Chancellor Daniel] Diermeier, remain eerily silent. I was afraid of my peers, and how those to whom I was out would start to see me. I was afraid of myself and started to believe, after hearing it from lawmakers over and over again, that I was something worth eradicating.”

These incidents have continued inside and outside of our campus. The following summer, the Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC) turned over transgender patients’ records to Attorney General Jonathan Skrmetti’s office, again with minimal public acknowledgment from the university. Recently, the local NPR station reported that the U.S. Senate Finance Committee found that VUMC did not do enough to protect its patients during this event. The article cites a number of cases in which hospitals blocked such requests from Skrmetti, citing patient privacy concerns. VUMC is currently facing a lawsuit and a federal investigation due to its decision to hand over sensitive records.

But none of these incidents stopped the university from promoting anti-trans figures. In December 2023, during my senior year, Vanderbilt invited Michael Knowles—another right-wing figure associated with the conservative group Turning Point USA—to speak. At the event, he made a number of inflammatory statements, including a call to “eradicate transgenders,” and “gave thanks” to settler colonialism. Knowles’ remarks were met with no affirming statement on the part of the university, and, in fact, our chancellor celebrated it as a measure of free speech on the campus.

This approach to dealing with anti-trans figures and right-wing mobilizations is not indicative of a centrist, free-speech position. Instead, it opens the door for right-wing base-building and attacks on all marginalized people across Tennessee. Since Walsh’s campaign began, Tennessee has banned gender-affirming care for minors—and federal appeals courts have upheld them.

At Middle Tennessee State University, a Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA) meeting last year was interrupted by the “Patriot Youth and the Tennessee Active Club, the latter a local paramilitary group that outwardly identifies as Nazis,” according to the Nashville Scene. Their intent was to make students uncomfortable for participating in left-wing political action by publishing students’ faces and names to right-wing networks, with clear anti-trans undertones. Near the end of the confrontation, one of the right-wing disruptors hurled a homophobic slur at one of the students.

As one YDSA organizer and former Democratic Party member Elizabeth Cannan-Knight at Middle Tennessee State pointed out to me, trans people are being attacked with bills by the right-wing establishment and targeted by neo-Nazis at events on our campuses. But many of our colleges and universities, as well as Democratic Party leadership, would “show up to events touting big rainbow symbols, but behind closed doors would say that we shouldn’t post about trans issues because they were ‘losing issues.’”

Institutions like colleges and universities, and their “neutral” approach in addressing transphobia and neo-Nazism on their campuses despite their appeals to diversity and inclusion, are a microcosm of a shift toward “centrist” rhetoric in supposedly progressive spaces as a whole.

Just last month, the Biden administration caved into right-wing fearmongering, just as Tennessee universities did, publicly stating it opposed surgeries for transgender minors. This is in stark contrast to the messaging on the campaign trail, where, before he dropped out, President Joe Biden fashioned himself as a champion for LGBTQ+ rights in opposition to Donald Trump. The statement was met with public backlash from LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations like the Human Rights Campaign, which said that it was “wrong on the science and wrong on the substance” and is “inconsistent with other steps the administration has taken to support transgender youth.”

These on-campus incidents and shifts in policy and discourse do not occur in a vacuum. Every time we allow “debate” on trans existence, we normalize right-wing conspiracy theories about genital mutilation and child abuse to permeate national discourse. These theories eventually move the realm of acceptable discourse rightward, materially threatening trans people through policy reversals.

Now, Samantha and Brian Williams of Nashville are suing the state, citing their own experience seeing their daughter struggle with her gender identity before getting access to “life-saving health care.” The Supreme Court’s eventual decision in United States v. Skrmetti could set back trans rights even more, especially for young trans Southerners.

Unless and until institutions can correct course in how they choose to treat dangerous rhetoric that endangers trans people, they can certainly expect prospective students, patients, faculty, and in the case of the Democrats, voters, to take their money and support elsewhere.

The post Anti-Trans Attacks in Tennessee Are Nothing New. Colleges Need to Step Up for Their Students. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Relationships could be precarious, and the way to find the idealized partner is cleared with numerous inaccurate steps.

What you see is not continuously what you get. In your endeavors to learn how to be a superior lady in a relationship, you may disregard discovering a way better man for yourself.

Relationship tips for ladies can offer assistance to clear your head and point you in the right direction.

Let’s dive into the best relationship advice for ladies.

From an early age, ladies acknowledge that they are not equal with men. You have to be hitched to be upbeat. You must be hitched to have children. You are worth nothing without a man.

Here are 10 relationship advice for women

There are thousands of books written for women looking to move forward in their relationships, not to mention TV conversations, magazine articles, and numerous blogs.

Don’t have a part of time to study books or sit down in front of the TV? Here are a few of the best relationship tips for ladies looking to discover and keep an extraordinary relationship.

1. Prioritize Yourself

You can’t be the best partner until you’re the best form of you! As critical as it is to prioritize your relationship and your partner’s needs, you moreover need to create time for yourself. Practicing self-care is basic for your physical, enthusiastic, and mental well-being. Attempt working out, contemplation, journaling, perusing, a different leisure activity, or anything that makes you feel good.

Along with self-care, a portion of prioritizing yourself implies setting boundaries in your sentimental relationship. This permits you to clearly express your needs and desires to your partner. Do you require open, legitimate communication? Strife that doesn’t resort to hollering? Anything they are, makes beyond any doubt your partner gets it and respects your boundaries. (And you do the same for them!)

Start being true with yourself around what you require in a relationship.

2. Don’t rush

Another relationship advice for young ladies is to know that love is like an artichoke: peel off and appreciate it, one leaf at a time.

No matter how enthusiastic you are to be in a relationship, don’t rush things. The joy is in the disclosing. Take your time to know each other some time recently moving to another level of intimacy.

When you get there, it will be more pleasurable.

3. “Approach an alarming conversation with excitement and openness.”

Have you ever been in a troublesome situation and you share your issue partner and at that point this individual reacts to your message with kind, warm and consoling words?

Reading that comment made you feel light as if an incredible weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Which made you forget all your issues, your torment, and the battle you were going through.

That’s how we ought to have a conversation with ourselves. Since when we are confronting a challenging circumstance, the torment can be overpowering, and at a few points, we require some person to talk to us with sympathy and empathy.

You can be that individual to yourself too.

Most individuals talk to themselves with a sense of sharpness, and those negative words you say to yourself can do a parcel of harm to your mental health.

That voice in your intellect that says things that you don’t say out loud has the control to lift you up amid any extreme times. Let it talk to you with calmness and good faith each single day.

4. Say Thank You More

Sometimes, when we’re in a long-term relationship, we tend to begin taking each other for granted. Whereas you may appreciate everything your accomplice does, you might not be realizing it as much as you should.

Think about almost any little signals your accomplice does all the time. Do they make you coffee each morning? Do they continuously fill up the gas tank for you? Make supper each night? Anything is, attempt saying thank you for it more often!

When couples begin to anticipate certain behaviors or that your accomplice is “supposed” to do certain things, it causes major issues in the relationship. When you disregard stop and appear appreciation, it leads one or both of you to feel underestimated or neglected. The small things your accomplice does ought to matter just as much as the huge ones, and the more you appear to each other, the more grounded your bond will be.

5. Don’t expect he is a mind-reader

Advice on relationships for ladies incorporates not having unreasonable desires from your partner.

People’s greatest confusion is considering that their accomplice can examine their considerations and ought to “just know” when they are angry, hungry, tired, or disturbed around something that happened at work.

Even the most instinctive man cannot know what’s inside your mind.

Use your communication aptitudes to express your sentiments. It will make everything less demanding, and you won’t end up harboring hatred since your man had no thought you needed him to choose pasta for supper instead of pizza.

6. Do not sell yourself to keep your love at any cost.

True flexibility comes from knowing you can do anything you need by yourself and be cheerful by yourself.

Depression will make you learn to be your own best companion. Self-love is best developed when you have no one around, and singles have a bounty of that time.

When you love yourself, you will have no reason to share your joy with somebody else or compromise your values so it would be ideal for you.

You will be loyal to yourself since you know that you’re sufficient. You are totally with or without a partner.

If you’re seeing somebody who considers your world ought to spin around them, that individual is not great enough for you.

To secure yourself and have sound connections with others, you must learn to feel comfortable in your claim company.

7. Compromise is Key

Compromising is significant, particularly amid contention! When you’re fighting with your partner, think about the issue in the long run — is it worth all the stretch? If the argument is over something little in the conspiracy of things (i.e., not approximately buying a watercraft, for illustration), at that point give-and-take would be the idealized solution.

Think of a compromise as the “third option.” Your accomplice has their recommendation, you have yours, and the compromise is a reasonable blend of the two. Attempt to be as sympathetic as conceivable with each other and lay out all of your choices. Now and then, connections take a small give up, so indeed if you’re not 100 percent fulfilled with the result, your relationship will thank you for it down the road.

8. Be balanced

Men cherish and appreciate a lady they can show to their family and work colleagues, knowing that behind the room entrance, their lady can appreciate their time together. You can treat this as an imperative unused relationship exhortation for ladies.

9. “Healthy connections are an adjustment of compassion and boundaries.”

No relationship can endeavor without a bit of selflessness and compromise.

You can’t be in a solid relationship if you don't discover it in yourself to get other people’s pain.

Empaths care more about other people than themselves. This can lead to an intemperate individual giving up or making a difference in a way that compromises your integrity.

And it will draw in more narrow minded and merciless individuals to you. That’s why you need to set your boundaries, to protect yourself from those who will take advantage of your kindness.

As a single lady, use this time to construct yourself. Learn to be empathic and to set your boundaries to secure yourself from egotistical individuals who come into your life to deplete your energy.

Be kind to people, appear sympathetic, and know that there are things that you cannot do in order to protect integrity.

10. Keep in mind That No One is Perfect

As much as motion pictures and TV need to persuade us to do something else, there is no such thing as an idealized human. Portion of being in an upbeat, sentimental relationship implies setting practical desires for your partner. Expecting them to treat you with regard?. Expecting them to never contend with you? This is absolutely unrealistic.

The key is to have an open intellect and grasp later. Relationships won’t remain the same over time, and you both need to adjust and modify as required. You and your partner will continuously have imperfections, and not all of them are deal-breakers!

No relationship is perfect, and now and then you require a small assistance to get things back on track

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When you are disconnected from your partner and unsure if the relationship can survive, there are specific actions to take to dramatically improve the relationship.

The post We’re on the Brink appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "We’re, the, Brink", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/GettyImages-1447126162-1024x683.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/were-on-the-brink/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-29 06:34:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54047", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: I Am Depressed-My Wife Still Loves Me But Left Me Because Of Poverty", "title_slug": "true-life-story-i-am-depressed-my-wife-still-loves-me-but-left-me-because-of-poverty", "title_hash": "0814241ca7dc04f14596b3d8c422dc4f", "summary": "True Life Story: I Am Depressed-My Wife Still Loves Me But Left Me Because Of Poverty Dear Jzhane, Please help me, I am depressed. It all started six years ago, when my family insisted I got married even though I told them I was not financially ready. Things have not gone according to plan as […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: I Am Depressed-My Wife Still Loves Me But Left Me Because Of Poverty

Dear Jzhane,

Please help me, I am depressed. It all started six years ago, when my family insisted I got married even though I told them I was not financially ready. Things have not gone according to plan as a first born son of my family. I dropped out of school (JSS 3) to help train my younger ones. I got a job as a clerk in a government agency after doing bus conductor work and did my GCE with whatever I could spare from other odd jobs, so I could help my siblings at least finish higher institution.

At my age, tow of my younger sisters have married, my younger brother already had someone to marry but my parents insisted as the first sone, I had to marry first before my brother. So, my parents brought me a girl they felt was well trained in the village, she was a school set holder and a virgin. The difference in age was much cos I was already 36 while she was 18. My family made all the arrangements for the simple traditional marriage and brought this girl to me.

When I saw her, I was stunned cos she was indeed very beautiful and she was very respectful. My friends were shocked and even asked me to help them find wife for them too….lol. All was well but we were still struggling financially. I tried to get her a job as a sales girl and that was my mistake. Of course, she got pregnant immediately we got married but to feed was an issue, so after she gave birth, we took the baby at eight months to my mother to look after.

I told her she should wait for another 2 to 3 years before we have the second baby, after all, she is very young. So, she was supposed to focus on her sales job and save up while I continued to hustle and save up too. Every month, we tried to send money to my mom for the baby and also save a little bit cos we needed a bigger apartment than my one room apartment and also needed to seek better financial future for both of us. I even told her that maybe she should go back to school and do like part time OND so she can have better opportunities in life.

Again, that was my mistake: my wife took her not giving birth again as her freedom. I started noticing not too long that she was no longer as reserved: she was on Facebook and social media, she was always chatting with friends on WhatsApp. I told her to get off social media but she would hide and continue.

The shy village girl was gradually becoming a city girl and she even began to talk back at me when I tried to talk to her. The next thing that happened after almost two years of marriage was that, she started saying she cannot continue to suffer with me, that I am like bad luck. That why would I be almost 40 years old, living on one room in this big Lagos where a lot of people younger than me are doing way better than me.

I was not going to let this small girl disrespect me so I told her to leave if she felt she was suffering and I was not man enough or rich enough for her. I said that in anger but she took it literally cos one day, before I came back from work, she had moved her things out and sent a message that she is no longer interested in the marriage. I called her parents and mine and they all tried to talk to her. She eventually came back but things were never the same. We were barely speaking to each other except having s3x.

Infact, I noticed her s3x drive was now even higher. I told her to stop her contraception, so we can try for the second baby. I thought that would make her devout more to the marriage but she lied cos she never got pregnant after four months of trying. And then she would run away from home from time to time again. I got tired and told her to leave permanently. I threw her things away and she left. I never heard from her for almost a month.

A month later, she came back and I could not recognize her. She was dressed so sexy and so attractive. She said that I should forgive her, that she is trying to make a better life for her. I asked her if she is back and she said lets just make love first. I missed her and she was seducing me…I was hard and let her have her way. The next day she left and said she was going to bring her things. This continued or almost two months, she would come for s3x and leave saying she is thinking about it.

Well, its been a year of doing hide and seek s3x with my wife, I just found out that she has taken one man to the village and they did introduction for marriage. Her parents sent back her bride price to my family. I was shocked but accepted it as the will of God. I tried to move on but this woman kept sending me s3x messages. She said she was marrying for a better life but that she still loved me. Infact, she has been controlling me cos she tells me that she wants me and I have been encouraging her to come let me f#ck her good and she has been coming.

I am sorry to say this but she is married to another man but she is pregnant for me now. This is a messed-up situation. She is asking me to keep this a secret so that our child can have a better life cos I am not financially buoyant. I told her no way but she is begging me to understand cos she clearly has shown she loves me but my condition has not improved. She even gives me money from time to time. Its shameful and hurts me that sometimes I feel suicidal. Like why is my luck like this? Where am working, they have not paid almost 2 months’ salary, my house rent in this dilapidated one room is due….its my ex-wife that has been sustaining me.

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This is shameful for me. I am approaching almost 40 years. I have a child in the village I cannot fend for…another living with another man under pretense that he is the father…and every week, am f#cking a woman who is ashamed of everything about me except my dick. My ex wife even jokingly has asked me to get sugar mummies that will pay me cos I f#ck very well…can you imagine….

What else should I be living for? My younger siblings refuse to help, they feel like as an older brother, its my duty to help them and not vice versa. You see how wicked human beings are? The same people I sacrificed my life for….I think they too are even ashamed of me… I am depressed and I need advise before I have no choice but to end it all.

Anonymous

Comment & Share This Story (Kindly Keep Comments tasteful)

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Moment man filmed his married colleague telling her husband she would work an extra shift in other to spend the night with him at a hotel

Take a listen!!!

$\"Moment$

WATCH VIDEO

#wetindeyhappentv

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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True Life Story: I Am Suspecting My Husband Is Impotent & He Knows

Hi Lively Stones,

I need help and advise. I suspects my husband is impotent. Sorry but I dont know how to write plenty stories but I am at a point in my life where I am about to make a very difficult decision. My husband is a good man but I think he is impotent. When we got married five years ago, we started trying for children and nothing we did ever worked. They said both of us are medically fine but I think the doctor who is a family friend of his may have lied.

I tried several IVFs in that same hospital but it never worked. Now, I think I was just being deceived. Maybe I am paranoid but listen to my story. I love my husband and he treats me very well so far …the only issue is the childlessness. He keeps saying we should wait for God’s time but early this year, he then said we should consider adoption cos its been five years no time have I even gotten pregnant even for once.

This made me feel like I was the one with the problem so I went to another hospital where I was confirmed very fertile and ok to have children. But my husband refused to go to the second hospital because he said his family doctor is a well experienced fertility and genealogist doctor. Well, this made me sad but I left it cos he said if we try adopting, God will do a miracle for us when we take care another person’s baby.

So around February, we started the adoption process. Right now, we are waiting for a teenager who is pregnant to give birth in September so we can adopt her baby. But something happened in May. I went to an uncle’s 60th birthday in Kwara state. My Uncle’s wife has always been worried about my childless situation kept asking me how far. I told her I got a second hospital opinion but my husband refused. It was then my aunty said what if my husband was the one with an issue and was pretending?

I did not want to believe my aunty but she encouraged me to find out by sleeping with another man, and if I get pregnant, then I will know the truth…even if it means aborting the baby, but she said, I should not be naive…that no marriage can last without children and the wife will be blamed most times when there is no child. My aunty told me one of my former admirers was at the party and encouraged me to sleep with the man ….

Initially, I told my aunty I can never cheat on my husband …my aunt scolded me and told me to stop being naive and stupid. That if I dont act fast….I will regret it when age is no longer on my side. So, when I saw this former admirer….he was so excited to see me and got talking that I should have married him, that he would have taken very good care of me and that he would have given me twins 3 times more. It was a joke the way he said it but I was tempted to find out if I could actually get pregnant.

So I flirted with this guy and we had s3x. I made sure we had s3x twice that day. He thought I was into him so he did not even resist. The man wanted us to continue seeing but I blocked him soon as I left for my base back home. I felt guilty all through since I have been back home. I prayed to God to forgive and even my mind told me that I cannot get pregnant just by sleeping with a stranger just once. I felt I had just cheated on my husband for nothing.

Then I accepted that I had made a mistake and finally agreed to stop worrying about children and wait for our adopted child that will soon be born. After the end of June, nothing happened. It made me more sad and stupid for sleeping with another man. But just two weeks ago, I started having symptoms of dizziness, sleeping all the time, getting more and more hungry…and I noticed my period was late.…

In panic….I took a pregnancy test and it was instantly positive. I did it five times and it was all positive. Ladies and gentlemen….is this not proof that my husband has been the problem since? I have been so scared since I slept with another man but now…I am so angry and I feel so betrayed. I feel like confronting my husband but then, that would mean admitting I had s3x with another man.

More From Lively Stones

How do I deal with this situation? My aunt who suggested this whole thing initially advised that if I get pregnant, I should abort it…but now, I dont think I can abort a child that I have wait for …for more than 5 years. I deserve to be a mom and I have been denied of that for so long…now I know why some women lie and give other men’s pregnancies to their husbands. Yes, could this is God’s way of giving us our child? What if I never told my husband or anyone else about this?

Oh God…I am so confused and angry and scared of what to do next….do you think I should confront my husband? or what should I do? please advise me.

Anonymous

Comment & Share This Story (Kindly Keep Comments tasteful)

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Libido in a man is his $£x drive, influenced by the symbiotic relationship between hormones and neurotransmitters—testosterone, dopamine, serotonin, and glutamate

$£x is important even so, and it can bolster your partnership and your sense of well-being, though it’s not a cure for problems. The key is affection. Studies show that as long as you keep love alive and active in your relationship, you can balance out the effects of not having $£x.

Men don’t k!ll yourselves, these are normal durations for $£x with your partner

18 – 25yrs ———-2hrs
\n26 – 30yrs ———-1hr
\n31 – 45yrs ———-30mins
\n46 – 50yrs ———-20mins
\n51 – 65yrs ———-10mins
\n66yrs ————2-5mins

Know your limit and be ok with it
\nForget harder harder . . .
\nYou go think say you dey come,

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "Men, Don’t, Kll, Yourselves, These, Are, Normal, Durations, For, £x", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "96", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Men-Dont-Kll-Yourself-These-Are-Normal-Durations-For-x.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/men-dont-kll-yourself-these-are-normal-durations-for-x/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-29 06:34:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "54043", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Elon Musk’s transgender daughter, in first interview, says he berated her for being queer as a child", "title_slug": "elon-musks-transgender-daughter-in-first-interview-says-he-berated-her-for-being-queer-as-a-child", "title_hash": "58d3df4d14629d42162fd38411995db8", "summary": "Vivian Jenna Wilson, the transgender daughter of Elon Musk, said Thursday in her first interview that he was an absent father who was cruel to her as a child for being queer and feminine. Wilson, 20, in an exclusive interview with NBC News, responded to comments Musk made Monday about her and her transgender identity. […]", "content": " $\"Elon$

Vivian Jenna Wilson, the transgender daughter of Elon Musk, said Thursday in her first interview that he was an absent father who was cruel to her as a child for being queer and feminine.

Wilson, 20, in an exclusive interview with NBC News, responded to comments Musk made Monday about her and her transgender identity. On social media and in an interview posted online, Musk said she was “not a girl” and was figuratively “dead,” and he alleged that he had been “tricked” into authorizing trans-related medical treatment for her when she was 16.

Wilson said that Musk hadn’t been tricked and that, after initially having hesitated, he knew what he was doing when he agreed to her treatment, which required consent from her parents.

Musk’s recent statements crossed a line, she said.

“I think he was under the assumption that I wasn’t going to say anything and I would just let this go unchallenged,” Wilson said in a phone interview. “Which I’m not going to do, because if you’re going to lie about me, like, blatantly to an audience of millions, I’m not just gonna let that slide.”

Wilson said that, for as long as she could remember, Musk hasn’t been a supportive father. She said he was rarely present in her life, leaving her and her siblings to be cared for by their mother or by nannies even though Musk had joint custody, and she said Musk berated her when he was present.

“He was cold,” she said. “He’s very quick to anger. He is uncaring and narcissist!c.”

Wilson said that, when she was a child, Musk would harass her for exhibiting feminine traits and pressure her to appear more masculine, including by pushing her to deepen her voice as early as elementary school.

“I was in fourth grade. We went on this road trip that I didn’t know was actually just an advertisement for one of the cars — I don’t remember which one — and he was constantly yelling at me viciously because my voice was too high,” she said. “It was cruel.”

Musk didn’t respond to a request for comment.

Wilson and her twin brother were born to Musk’s first wife, author Justine Musk. The couple divorced in 2008, and Wilson said her parents shared custody between their homes in the Los Angeles area.

Musk, 53, is among the wealthiest people in the world through his stakes in Tesla, where he’s CEO, and in SpaceX, which he founded. He has also become a significant political figure, having endorsed former President Donald Trump this month for another term in the White House. Musk has 12 children, including Wilson.

Now a college student studying languages, Wilson has never granted an interview before and has largely stayed out of public view. She did, however, attract attention in 2022 when she sought court approval in California to change her name and, in the process, denounced her father.

“I no longer live with or wish to be related to my biological father in any way, shape or form,” she said in the court filing.

She told NBC News that at the time, she was surprised by the media attention to the court filing, which she submitted when she was 18. She said in the interview that she stands by what she wrote, though she said she might have tried to be more eloquent had she known the coverage it would get.

Wilson said that she hadn’t spoken to Musk in about four years and that she refused to be defined by him.

“I would like to emphasize one thing: I am an adult. I am 20 years old. I am not a child,” she said. “My life should be defined by my own choices.”

Musk threw a spotlight on Wilson on Monday by speaking about their relationship in a video interview with psychologist and conservative commentator Jordan Peterson streamed live on X, saying he didn’t support Wilson’s gender identity.

“I lost my son, essentially,” Musk said. He used Wilson’s birth name, also known as a deadname for transgender people, and said she was “dead, k!lled by the woke mind virus.”

And in a post on X, Musk said Monday that Wilson was “born gay and slightly autistic” and that, at age 4, she fit certain gay stereotypes, such as loving musicals and using the exclamation “fabulous!” to describe certain clothing. Wilson told NBC News that the anecdotes aren’t true, though she said she did act stereotypically feminine in other ways as a child.

Wilson also addressed Musk’s recent comments in a series of posts Thursday on the social media app Threads.

“He doesn’t know what I was like as a child because he quite simply wasn’t there,” she wrote. “And in the little time that he was I was relentlessly harassed for my femininity and queerness.”

“I’ve been reduced to a happy little stereotype,” she continued. “I think that says alot about how he views queer people and children in general.”

In recent years, Musk has taken a hard–right turn into conservative politics and has been waging a campaign against transgender people and policies designed to support them. This month, he said he was pulling his businesses out of California to protest a new state law that bars schools from requiring that trans kids be outed to their parents.

On X, Musk has for years criticized transgender rights, including medical treatments for trans-identifying minors, and the use of pronouns if they are different from what would be used at birth. He has promoted anti-trans content and called for arresting people who provide trans care to minors.

After Musk bought X, then known as Twitter, in 2022, he rolled back the app’s protections for trans people, including a ban on using deadnames.

Musk told Peterson that Wilson’s gender transition has been the motivation for his push into conservative politics.

“I vowed to destroy the woke mind virus after that, and we’re making some progress,” he said.

Wilson was also mentioned in a biography of Musk by author Walter Isaacson — a book that she told NBC News was inaccurate and unfair to her. The book refers to her politics as “radical Marxism,” quoting Musk’s sister-in-law Christiana Musk, but Wilson said she’s not a Marxist, though she said she does oppose wealth inequality. The book also calls her by her middle name, Jenna.

Wilson said Isaacson never reached out to her directly ahead of publication. In a phone interview Thursday, Isaacson said he had reached out to Wilson through family members.

Christiana Musk didn’t immediately respond to requests for comment Thursday.

Wilson told NBC News that for years she had considered speaking out about Musk’s behavior as a parent and as a person but that she could no longer remain silent after his comments Monday.

She said she had never received an explanation for why her father spent so little time with her and her siblings — behavior that she now views as strange.

“He was there, I want to say, maybe 10% of the time. That’s generous,” she said. “He had half custody, and he fully was not there.”

“It was just a fact of life at the time, so I don’t think I realized just how abnormal of an experience it was,” she added.

Wilson said she came out twice in life: once as gay in eighth grade and a second time as transgender when she was 16. She said that she doesn’t recall Musk’s response the first time and that she wasn’t present when Musk heard from others that she was transgender, because by then the pandemic had started and she was living full-time with her mother.

“She’s very supportive. I love her a lot,” Wilson said of her mom.

The pandemic was a chance to escape Musk’s cruelty, she said.

“When Covid hit, I was like, ‘I’m not going over there,’” she said. “It was basically very lucky timing.”

Musk told Peterson in the interview that he had been “tricked” into signing documents authorizing transgender-related medical treatment for Wilson — an allegation Wilson said isn’t true.

“I was essentially tricked into signing documents for one of my older boys,” Musk said, using her birth name.

“This was before I had really any understanding of what was going on, and we had Covid going on,” he said, adding that he was told she might commit suicide.

Wilson said that, in 2020, when she was still a minor at 16, she wanted to start treatment for severe gender dysphoria but needed the consent of both parents under California law. She said that her mother was supportive but that Musk initially wasn’t. She said she texted him about it for a while.

“I was trying to do this for months, but he said I had to go meet with him in person,” she said. “At that point, it was very clear that we both had a very distinct disdain for each other.”

When she eventually went and gave him the medical forms, she said, he read them at least twice, once with her and then again on his own, before he signed them.

“He was not by any means tricked. He knew the full side effects,” she said.

She said she took puberty blockers before she switched to hormone-replacement therapy — treatments that she said were lifesaving for her and other transgender people.

“They save lives. Let’s not get that twisted,” she said. “They definitely allowed me to thrive.”

She said she believed the requirements to obtain such treatments remain onerous, with teenagers pressured to say they’re at extreme risk of self-harm before they’ll be approved. She said she felt judged by Musk and Peterson, in the Monday interview, for not being at a high enough risk in their eyes.

“I have been basically put into a point where, to a group of people, I have to basically prove whether or not I was suicidal or not to warrant medically transitioning,” she said. “It’s absolutely mind-boggling.”

Source

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "Elon, Musk’s, transgender, daughter, first, interview, says, berated, her, for, being, queer, child", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Elon-Musks-transgender-daughter-in-first-interview-says-he-berated-her-for-being-queer-as-a-child.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/elon-musks-transgender-daughter-in-first-interview-says-he-berated-her-for-being-queer-as-a-child/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-29 06:34:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53897", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Stuck on How to Meet New Girls? Just Approach!", "title_slug": "stuck-on-how-to-meet-new-girls-just-approach", "title_hash": "3a755b86b8c05534f1c6ff7a2cfff16b", "summary": "Guys can make meeting new women a lot more complicated than it needs to be. Whether you need to build momentum or just get into a social mood, start by making an approach.\n\nContents\nI. Where to Start\n\n\nShake Things Up\n\n\nStay Active and Positive\n\n\nII. Put Yourself Out There\nIII. What to Avoid\nIV. Exceptions\nV. Conclusion\n\nHey guys and welcome back.\nToday’s post is beginner-friendly and may benefit intermediate players (and even pros).\nIt covers an in-field philosophy that has helped me tremendously.\nIt’s one thing what game looks like on paper and quite another how it unfolds in real life. Sometimes, all those openings and windows you see the pros talk about may be less apparent in the field when you are out there doing it. The scenarios described here may not look the same when you are out.\nIs it because my setting is different than yours? That may be true, but it’s rarely the cause. The primary reason is that you often do not see openings. Why? You might be so stressed that your atten", "content": "

$\"in-field$ Guys can make meeting new women a lot more complicated than it needs to be. Whether you need to build momentum or just get into a social mood, start by making an approach.

Contents

I. Where to Start

\n
Shake Things Up
\n
\n
Stay Active and Positive
\n

II. Put Yourself Out There

III. What to Avoid

IV. Exceptions

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today’s post is beginner-friendly and may benefit intermediate players (and even pros).

It covers an in-field philosophy that has helped me tremendously.

It’s one thing what game looks like on paper and quite another how it unfolds in real life. Sometimes, all those openings and windows you see the pros talk about may be less apparent in the field when you are out there doing it. The scenarios described here may not look the same when you are out.

Is it because my setting is different than yours? That may be true, but it’s rarely the cause. The primary reason is that you often do not see openings. Why? You might be so stressed that your attention is elsewhere. Your attention may be inward, reflecting on your mood, or you could be distracted by something irrelevant. Perhaps you are unable to decipher the openings.

The opportunities are ripe for the picking, but you are simply not seeing them.

Or you may not see them clearly.

Perhaps the problem is that you have not created those openings.

The result? You may begin to stress, feel anxious, demoralized, and demotivated.

This in-field stress happens in both night and day game but is more prevalent in night game. It’s partly due to the intimidating nature of night game (cool looking dudes, intimidating bouncers, chaos, many hot, dolled up girls). In day game, it could be due to approach anxiety. But you will experience far less chaos during the day, making it easier to see openings and opportunities.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Stuck, How, Meet, New, Girls, Just, Approach", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/just-approach-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/stuck-how-meet-new-girls-just-approach", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-26 14:06:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53896", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Spot a Bad Girl: Sneers, Condescension, & Underlooks", "title_slug": "how-to-spot-a-bad-girl-sneers-condescension-underlooks", "title_hash": "ce33de14702057e47e5bac8a5490f40c", "summary": "Bad girls show you they’re bad girls before they even speak. They do that through their facial expressions. Spot them & avoid destructive relationships.\nOver the years, I have tried to save friends from dating very bad girls. These efforts are generally unsuccessful. The friend will continue to date the girl I tried to warn him against. The girl ‘plays nice’ for a bit, but eventually starts doing some very bad things. In the end, the friend gets burned.\nSometimes these friends have come back to me and told me I was right all along and are amazed at how I knew. However some guys who date girls like this go bitter against womankind in general – bitter because they picked a bad apple, then extrapolated that out too far and wide.\nI don’t want you, Dear Reader, falling into the same trap these poor saps fell into – both those who escaped embitterment and those who did not; because both men end up burned either way.\nToday, I am going to teach you to read facial expressions better.\nIn particu", "content": "

$\"how$ Bad girls show you they’re bad girls before they even speak. They do that through their facial expressions. Spot them & avoid destructive relationships.

Over the years, I have tried to save friends from dating very bad girls. These efforts are generally unsuccessful. The friend will continue to date the girl I tried to warn him against. The girl ‘plays nice’ for a bit, but eventually starts doing some very bad things. In the end, the friend gets burned.

Sometimes these friends have come back to me and told me I was right all along and are amazed at how I knew. However some guys who date girls like this go bitter against womankind in general – bitter because they picked a bad apple, then extrapolated that out too far and wide.

I don’t want you, Dear Reader, falling into the same trap these poor saps fell into – both those who escaped embitterment and those who did not; because both men end up burned either way.

Today, I am going to teach you to read facial expressions better.

In particular, I am going to teach you to spot a bad girl, and the particular facial expressions she will use.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Spot, Bad, Girl:, Sneers, Condescension, Underlooks", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/bad-girl-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-spot-bad-girl-sneers-condescension-underlooks", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-26 14:06:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53895", "lang_id": "1", "title": "No, the Hottest Women Are Not All Models, Actresses, and Influencers", "title_slug": "no-the-hottest-women-are-not-all-models-actresses-and-influencers", "title_hash": "765a848ab0c3705459ea11b8e8e72c36", "summary": "Are the world’s hottest women working as models, actresses, & influencers? Are they only accessible to high status, wealthy men? No… and here’s the proof.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"are$ Are the world’s hottest women working as models, actresses, & influencers? Are they only accessible to high status, wealthy men? No… and here’s the proof.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", the, Hottest, Women, Are, Not, All, Models, Actresses, and, Influencers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "131", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/model-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/no-hottest-women-are-not-all-models-actresses-and-influencers", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-26 14:06:37", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53893", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The VRST Limitless Pants Collection at Dick’s Sporting Goods Are Now Even Better Than Ever", "title_slug": "the-vrst-limitless-pants-collection-at-dicks-sporting-goods-are-now-even-better-than-ever", "title_hash": "0dc13d8751e72ce564af974c24f95810", "summary": "These Newly Reimagined Pants Are Made for Movement — No Matter Where Your Day Takes You", "content": "This article is sponsored by DICK’S Sporting Goods.\r\n\r\nProduct photos from retailer site.\r\n\r\nYou know those super busy days when you have meeting after meeting at the office — but all you want to do during your measly break is take a walk to the park and, quite literally, touch grass?\r\nIt's innate. It's how things should be. Yet our \"nice\" clothes can often feel so restricting that we don't even bother.\r\nBut what if there was a pair of pants that could not only comfortably get you through whatever your day throws your way, but do it with impeccable style too?\r\nRELATED: Have You Squatted Your Way to Gigantic Thighs? These Pants Are for You\r\nWe think VRST — the activewear brand sold exclusively online and in-store at DICK'S Sporting Goods — may have struck gold with their newly reimagined Limitless Collection featuring not just one, but four styles of pants that can easily do all of the above.\r\n\r\nWhat is the Limitless Collection?\r\n\r\nThe Limitless Collection has been engineered for maximum mobility and comfort without sacrificing an ounce of style, and when you see the four distinct designs below — 5-Pocket, Jogger, Chino and Tapered — you'll completely understand.\r\nPerformance is really at the core of the VRST brand, so these pants are perfect whether you follow an unflinching daily routine or you have no idea what kind of curveballs your busy days will throw your way. They live by the mantra that they're \"tailored to thrive in every situation,\" so we doubt there's much that can stand in their way.\r\nPlus, you can get them in multiple fits — from the roomy athletic fit to the sleek skinny fit — to suit your daily needs as well as your personal style.\r\n\r\nWhat Makes Limitless Collection Pants Different?\r\n\r\nIf you've had the pleasure of experiencing the Limitless Collection in the past (or even if you haven't), you'll find that these new-and-improved pants are better than ever. They now have a more casual fit at the waist that just might make you forget about your favorite pair of perfectly worn-in jeans. \r\nThey boast four-way-stretch, warp-knit technology which, despite sounding absolutely out-of-this-world, is actually designed to keep you very down to earth as you maneuver from the office to the gym to dinner and drinks without restrictions. Plus, hot and sunny summer days are no match, thanks to their moisture-wicking fabric that provides 50+ UV protection. And, despite their soft-to-the-touch feel and generous stretch, these pants remain wrinkle-resistant and maintain their structure so you always look put-together — even if you had to chase down three buses and trains in 90-degree heat to get to your destination.\r\nBest of all, they now have an added gusset under the seat to give you a little more confidence and freedom of movement, whether you're taking the stairs up to your office or doing high kicks to hype yourself up between meetings. We’re just spitballing here — but you could do it in these pants if you wanted to!\r\nWhile we could wax poetic about these babies all day long, perhaps it's better if you just see them for yourself. We've pulled a few styles in our favorite fits and colors to show you below, or you can check out the whole Limitless Collection over at DICK'S.\r\n\r\nThe VRST Limitless Pants Collection at DICK’S Sporting Goods\r\n\r\nVRST Limitless Skinny Fit 5 Pocket Pant\r\n\r\nTake your everyday pants to the next level in this classic with a form-fitting feel. They have all the benefits of Limitless Collection pants — four-way stretch, moisture-wicking fabric, etc. — with the added bonus of an incredibly versatile style. (So yes, your favorite pair of denim should feel very threatened right about now.) We like 'em in this skinny fit, but you can also get them in athletic and slim fits. Whichever one you choose, they’ll pair perfectly with everything from a tee and sneakers to a button-down and boots. Bonus: They have a covered back zipper pocket to stash small items securely when you're on the move.\r\n$88 at DICKS.com\r\nVRST Men's Limitless Slim Fit Tapered Pant\r\n\r\nThese pull-on pants feature a tapered leg that hits at the ankle, offering the perfect opportunity to show off your favorite pair of shoes. With an elastic back and four-way-stretch fabric, they're incredibly easy to wear and even easier to style. Whether you choose to dress them up or down, they vibe just as well with a tee or polo as they do with a casual button-down or sweater for year-round versatility. Plus, they have a zippered side pocket so you can keep essentials at hand without worry.\r\n$88 at DICKS.com\r\nVRST Men's Limitless Athletic Fit Jogger\r\n\r\nFor your days that are a little more casual (but maybe not necessarily laidback), these joggers are the perfect choice. Paired with your favorite tee or sweatshirt, you can easily tackle your everyday errands in this effortlessly stylish look. The adjustable drawcord waist allows for an impeccable fit, and you can get them in athletic (seen here) or slim styles.\r\n$88 at DICKS.com\r\nVRST Men's Limitless Slim Fit Chino Pant\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for the most polished option to wear to the office, these sleek and covertly performance-minded chinos are the real deal. Like the rest of the Limitless Collection, they offer four-way stretch to keep you comfortable from morning meetings to happy hour drinks, and UPF 50+ protection to keep you safe from the sun's rays as you go and touch grass during your lunch break. Slant-front pockets keep the look sleek and classic, pairing perfectly with your favorite button-down shirts and polos for an effortless everyday look.\r\n$88 at DICKS.com\r\nSee more of the Limitless Collection at DICKS.com/Limitless.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nSoak Up the Sun in Style With These Top Summer Shorts for GuysOur Most Comfortable, Stylish Underwear Picks to Get You Through 2024Embrace the Trend With the Best Wide-Leg Shorts for Warm Weather", "keywords": "The, VRST, Limitless, Pants, Collection, Dick’s, Sporting, Goods, Are, Now, Even, Better, Than, Ever", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/the-limitless-collection-pants-at-dicks-sporting-goods-are-now-even-better-than-ever/dicks-sporting-goodslimitless-lead07182024-1721776312.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/the-limitless-collection-pants-at-dicks-sporting-goods-are-now-even-better-than-ever.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-26 14:06:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53894", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Penis Health Care", "title_slug": "penis-health-care", "title_hash": "e402885b5d103abb8ebd78f6c68f0d4b", "summary": "Good penis health care doesn't begin and end with condoms. Our tips will keep your unit rising happily every morning.", "content": "Admit it: the penis is easily a man’s most guarded and revered appendage. Not only is it your source of pleasure and the tool that allows you to procreate, but plenty of pride and sense of self are tied to this organ. But, let’s be honest again: how much time do you take in the shower to care for your member, washing, scrubbing, exfoliating, and inspecting for any questionable bumps? \r\nSince you care about it so deeply, it makes sense that the penis commands a level of value and respect. We're all familiar with the importance of wearing condoms in certain situations, but proper penis health care certainly doesn't end there. From grooming and cleaning to understanding exactly what you’re looking for, um, down there, building up your routine will ensure cleanliness, health and hygiene below the belt.\r\nRELATED: The Ultimate Guide to Properly Grooming Your Penis\r\nIf you’re not convinced your penis is getting the attention he deserves, don’t worry. We have you covered. You can start by reviewing effective tips, tricks and advice on the best way to care for your penis. If you follow our regimen, we promise you will keep you — and your unit — rising happily each morning.\r\n\r\n\r\nRegular Maintenance\r\n\r\nGrooming\r\nFirst off, you gotta trim. Secondly, you have to do more than that! For many men, genital grooming is an easy, expected and simple part of their penis health care routine, while for others it may be nothing more than a part-time annoyance. Keeping genitals hairless does have its benefits, but there are still definite pitfalls to both shaving and waxing that might not be immediately apparent:\r\nPros\r\n\r\n\tA polished penis improves cleanliness/reduces moisture.\r\n\tA groomed penis can be inviting and sexually stimulating.\r\n\tA well-kept penis can increase your level of sensitivity during sex.\r\n\tA groomed penis facilitates skin examination, making it easier to notice any symptoms.\r\n\tA maintained downstairs can be a more fun partner experience, depending on his or her preference.\r\n\tThough not scientifically proven, a clean-cut penis could make you appear larger.\r\n\r\nCons\r\n\r\n\tGrooming is very tedious.\r\n\tIf you go the route of waxing, it is painful.\r\n\tIf you maintain a waxing schedule, it is expensive.\r\n\tGrooming can cause irritation.\r\n\tGrooming can also cause new or spread existing infection.\r\n\r\nSome women find a polished, manscaped man erotic and even the act of shaving can be incorporated into foreplay — with the right gal, of course. If you’re in a long-term relationship, it is smart to discuss your plan to wax, just so she isn’t shocked the next time you get rowdy. You should know, however, that both shaving and waxing can cause irritation or folliculitis, and can spread viral infections, such as genital herpes or molloscum contagiosum. Even nasty bacterial infections, such as methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, have been linked to the use of razors, more specifically, the sharing of razors among sports participants (guys, sometimes sharing is bad). All of this contradicts good penis health care.\r\nIf you wish to avoid shaving or waxing, a simple trim with an electric razor is always a safe bet. If you choose to groom, however, which weapons should you choose? You’re probably best off using a simple razor with mild shaving cream or soap followed by a mild moisturizing aftershave lotion or warm salt water. Avoid chemical removal techniques and electric razors if you're opting to take it all off, as with both you risk wreaking havoc on your scrotum. Lastly, you may choose to wax. Wait… what? There’s no need to feel ashamed of a little waxing as part of your penis health care, just know that it can be expensive and painful.\r\nRELATED: Body Hair: Everything You Need to Know\r\n\r\nFor Your Manscaping Needs\r\n\r\nPhillips Norelco Bodygroom Series 5000\r\n\r\n\r\nPart of your manscaping duties is shaving down there and it's in your best interest to work with a skin-protecting shaving head. The Philips Norelco Bodygroom Series offers a shower-proof design and pivoting head that allows the trimmer to closely follow the body's contours while its rounded blades prevent scratching of the skin. We're also especially grateful for the included back extension, that allows you to shave the hard-to-reach areas on your upper and mid-back.\r\n$44.46 at Amazon.com\r\nLAB Series Cooling Shave Cream\r\n\r\nYou're never going to want to shave that area when it's dry. Bad call. The shower will soften the hair and make it easier for a blade to pass through but once you step out of the shower and get ready to shave, you want to prep your sack the right way. Load up with this cooloing shaving cream that allows for greater accuracy while providing some moisturizing and healing properties. \r\n$31 at LabSeries.com\r\nGillette Fusion5 Razor\r\n\r\nFor the cleanest and closest shave, you may want to opt for a manual razor, especially to hit your undercarriage. But that's going to take some extra special care because sharp objects around your scrotum just sound like a dangerous proposition. Gilllette Fusion5 Proshield's FlexBall technology bends to your body's natural angles and its five blades ensure a tight, comfortable shave. Thinner blades mean less resistance – and less chance of snagging on parts that definitely should not be snagged. \r\n$20 at Amazon.com\r\nHarry's Post Shave Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nWhether you opt for a trimmer or razor, your skin is going to respond and the best way to ease that irritation is with a hydrating aftershave solution. Harry's aloe-enhanced formula is gentle on the skin and helps to reduce discomfort and soothe any burning or itching that you might get from a rough razor stroke. \r\n$15.96 for 2 at Amazon.com\r\nTend Skin Solution\r\n\r\nIf you intend to shave your downstairs area, you might notice some unruly bumps that rise. Don’t worry, it probably isn’t an STI, but rather, razor burn. You might notice this on your lady friend and it’s exactly what could happen to you: irritation or ingrown hairs from rampant shaving. Use a bit of this to fight it away.\r\n$26.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nWhat Is Penis Soap?\r\n\r\nLet's start with this: Don't Google penis soap, it's NSFW. (You did it already, didn't you?) There is no soap specifically made for your penis. What you can find, however, is an array of gag gifts for a bachelorette party that include anything from penis-shaped bar soap to a soap dispenser colorfully shaped like your man-bits\r\nWhen you're cleaning up, simply use warm water and a mild, unscented soap. Lots of soaps are made with perfumes or other ingredients that might irritate sensitive skin.\r\n\r\nHow to Properly Clean Your Penis\r\n\r\nYour member is a sensitive organ, a point that should always be kept in mind. For some odd reason, some men feel the need to vigorously scrub their units with powerful soaps or disinfectants to keep clean. Just lather up that mild soap and make sure to clean the base, shaft and head of your penis as well as your testicles. Uncircumcised men should slide the foreskin back and wash the head of the exposed penis with warm water, not soap. Then, be sure to dry the area very well.\r\nBoth infrequent and too-frequent washing have been associated with balanitis (an inflammation of the penis or head). If you do notice irritation, avoid scented soaps or shower gels and try warm salt water instead. New clothes or even new laundry detergents can also cause irritation. If irritation persists, see a doctor.\r\n\r\nSelf-Examination\r\n\r\nParticularly when sexually active, men should regularly perform genital self-examination to identify testicular cancer or any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that present themselves visibly. How regularly? Well, there is no golden rule, but once a month should be satisfactory.\r\nFor testicular cancer, the American Cancer Society recommends the following:\r\nOnce a month, after taking a bath or shower:\r\n\r\n\tExamine each testicle individually.\r\n\tWith both hands, hold the testicle between your thumbs and fingers and roll it gently.\r\n\tBe on the alert for any hard lumps or nodules (smooth rounded masses) or any change in the size, shape or consistency of your testes.\r\n\tDo not mistake the epididymis (a tightly coiled tube on the upper, outer side of each testicle) or the blood vessels and spermatic cord that extend from the testicles as being cancer.\r\n\r\nNot only is regular testicular examination a good way to catch testicular cancer early, but it also provides an opportunity to examine the penis and testicles for signs of an STI.\r\n\r\nRed Flags\r\n\r\nThere are many red flags for STIs. Be vigorous in your self-examinations and know that certain STIs, such as chlamydia, can be completely asymptomatic — meaning that you may show absolutely no identifiable signs or symptoms of infection. In such cases, it’s important that you keep an open channel of communication with your sexual partners. If your partner develops an STI, there may be a chance that you gave it to them without knowing.\r\nThe American Academy of Family Physicians highlights some of the major signs and symptoms of common STIs that you should be on the lookout for:\r\n\r\n\tDischarge from the penis: The drip could be thick and yellow or it could be watery and very slight.\r\n\tChange in smell (including foul odor) or color of semen.\r\n\tBlood in the semen or urine (dark color).\r\n\tPain during sex or when urinating or ejaculating.\r\n\tPain in the pelvic area.\r\n\tChancre sores (painless red sores) on the genital area, anus, tongue, and/or throat.\r\n\tFlesh-colored or reddish bumps, sores or blisters on the skin of the genitals that may or may not itch.\r\n\tSmall blisters that turn into scabs on the genital area.\r\n\tSoft, flesh-colored, cauliflower-like warts around the genital area.\r\n\r\nIn addition, many STIs, particularly viral infections like HIV or herpes, induce symptoms similar to the flu that may serve as early indicators of infection. If you notice a sore throat, swollen glands, fever, or body aches in the weeks following unprotected sex, you may want to consider following up with an STI check just to be sure.\r\nLastly, don’t panic if you do notice something unusual. Pearly penile papules found around the rim of the head of the penis are no need for alarm. Similarly, pimples or irritation from shaving are normal. If you are unsure, it’s always best to see a doctor first to understand what is and isn’t normal. Waiting is the worst thing you can do. If you are a little bashful, just remember: Every man has a penis! Man up and go see a doctor.\r\nLike it or not, your penis is with you until the end. As a source of procreation and pleasure, the penis commands proper care. Take care of it properly and you might not be the only benefactor...\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig\r\n\r\n\tUnrealistic Penis Expectations\r\n\tWhat Penis Size Do Women Prefer?\r\n\tAverage Erect Penis Length and Girth", "keywords": "Penis, Health, Care", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "93", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/penis-health-care/askmen-lead-image-template-1721844338.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/penis-health-care.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-26 14:06:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53892", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Charcoal Masks for Men", "title_slug": "best-charcoal-masks-for-men", "title_hash": "62b4521f43d426af284eb9428f007f95", "summary": "Charcoal isn't just for flipping burgers on the grill. It actually does a lot of good for your skin, too. But before you run out the door and grab a bag of briquettes to give yourself an at-home facial, hold up: There’s a major difference between the kind you cook with and the kind you put on your face to attack a clogged pore (or a few).\r\nUnlike the charcoal you use at your barbeques that works as fuel, the kind that's in high demand in the skin care community is activated charcoal, a non-toxic substance that's been used in the medical world for years as a means to treat everything from drug overdoses to alcohol poisoning. When the activated charcoal comes in contact with your combination or oily skin, it works by basically absorbing up all the toxins and pollutants hanging out, getting rid of dirt and oil in your pores.\r\nRELATED: Best Shower Gels for Men\r\nSince quality charcoal masks dig deep, acting like a magnet to pull out any gunk and grime on your skin, it might be a little unco", "content": "Charcoal isn't just for flipping burgers on the grill. It actually does a lot of good for your skin, too. But before you run out the door and grab a bag of briquettes to give yourself an at-home facial, hold up: There’s a major difference between the kind you cook with and the kind you put on your face to attack a clogged pore (or a few).\r\nUnlike the charcoal you use at your barbeques that works as fuel, the kind that's in high demand in the skin care community is activated charcoal, a non-toxic substance that's been used in the medical world for years as a means to treat everything from drug overdoses to alcohol poisoning. When the activated charcoal comes in contact with your combination or oily skin, it works by basically absorbing up all the toxins and pollutants hanging out, getting rid of dirt and oil in your pores.\r\nRELATED: Best Shower Gels for Men\r\nSince quality charcoal masks dig deep, acting like a magnet to pull out any gunk and grime on your skin, it might be a little uncomfortable or painful as you remove it, but nothing you can’t deal with. Plus, getting to see all your blackheads unclog is so ridiculously worth it.\r\nBut not all oily skin charcoal masks are designed to be ripped off either. Plenty of these activated wonders are offered a charcoal clay mask or one that uses sea minerals or mud to help the efficacy of charcoal. This allows for guys with just about any skin type to benefit from the smoother skin these various types of masks can offer.\r\nWhen you buy a nice charcoal face mask, you won’t just reap the benefits of charcoal itself: you’ll also come away with other qualities unique to each product. There are charcoal face masks that absorb oil, ones that work to improve your skin's texture, ones that are killer exfoliators, and ones that help get rid of acne.\r\nSome varieties are thin and wash away, and others are thick and allow you to peel them right off. After skin type, it becomes a personal preference, and you can always start with something simple and build up to something a little more intense. And if you have a beard or other facial hair, not a problem. Stick to applying the mask to the hair-free areas of your face, such as your T-zone. So, are you ready to get started?\r\nJumping on the charcoal face mask bandwagon might just be the best thing you ever do for your combination skin. These men's face mask picks will not only remove excess dead skin cells and dry skin, but leave your skin looking smooth, radiant, and completely refreshed.\r\n\r\nBest Charcoal Face Masks for Men\r\n\r\nPiero Lorenzo Blackhead Remover Mask\r\n\r\nThis potent activated charcoal black mask is designed to remove blackheads, whiteheads, reduce acne - really just upgrade your overall face - with regular use. In addition to its concentration of activated bamboo charcoal, this deep pore cleanser is loaded with green tea, chamomile, and hyaluronic acid. That means while it’s great at cleaning out pores, it’s also great at keeping skin healthy. Whereas this a great mask for most skin types, those with sensitive skin should test a small area before treating the entire face. Not sure? We always recommend checking with your dermatologist if you're not sure.\r\n$7.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTONYMOLY I'm Real Charcoal Pore Care Mask Sheet\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you want a budget option, or don't plan on using face masks often, check out TONYMOLY's Pore Case face mask sheets. Simply apply the face mask to your clean, dried face, wait 20 to 30 minutes, and then gently remove, and you'll see the results on the sheet itself.\r\n$3 at Amazon.com\r\nL'Oreal Paris Detox & Brighten Pure-Clay Mask\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nFor something you can find everywhere from Target to your nearest drugstore, try L'Oreal Paris' clay mask. Combining charcoal with pure clay to capture deep impurities, the non-drying formula is easily removed with water after the 10- to 15-minute wait is up. Your skin will look bright, clean, and totally recharged - all for under $10.\r\n$21.95 at Amazon.com\r\nBioré Instant Warming Clay Charcoal Face Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nIf waiting 30 minutes to take off your mask sounds like a joke, how about sparing one minute instead? These masks from Bioré heat up under your fingers as you massage them into your face for 60 seconds. After removing, you'll notice a much softer complexion. Although it will undoubtedly make your skin feel good, it isn’t going to do as much good as the more powerful masks. But it definitely makes a difference.\r\n$8.49 at Amazon.com\r\nOrigins Clear Improvement Active Charcoal Face Mask\r\n\r\nOrigins’ famed charcoal mask does exactly what it promises: draws out those pesky pore-cloggers, absorbs toxins, and helps vanish any skin impurities. It’s perfect for those with acne; all you need to do is use it once a week. Just apply, let it dry, and rinse. You can also loosen the mask with a warm, wet washcloth to make removal even easier. Considering more than 95% of reviewers are obsessed with the product, you can't go wrong.\r\n$13.65 at Amazon.com\r\nBoscia Luminizing Charcoal Peel Mask\r\n\r\nGreat on all skin types — sensitive skin included — this peel-off mask might be one of the more intense. But it's also one of the most effective. It definitely clings to your skin during the 30 minutes you'll leave it on for, but once you remove it and see everything it sucked up, you’ll already get excited to use it again. \r\n$14.16 at Amazon.com\r\nAlder New York Clarifying Face Mask\r\n\r\nThis vegan, TSA-approved size mask is great for trips requiring a bit more pampering. Don’t worry though, a four ounce multi use jar is available as well. This activated charcoal mask also features willow bark help reduce blemishes, control oil, detoxify skin, and minimize the look of large pores. Add to that rosemary and zinc oxide, this gentle, unscented mask is free from synthetic fragrance, silicone, parabens and reduces inflammation for a clear, healthy complexion.\r\n$10 at AlderNewYork.com\r\nGOA Anti-Fatigue Facial Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nThis concentrated mask uses the brand's proprietary ingredient, anti-inflammatory dark phyto-protein, to reduce the look of fatigued, tired looking skin while also helping fight acne and intensify the delivery of antioxidants. Using no added water — aloe vera replaces it as the first ingredient — this muddy goodness is rich in amino acids, minerals, polysaccharides, and skin-protective biotechnology to stimulate circulation while removing excess oil, blackheads, acne, and toxins. Additional powerhouse ingredients include wakame seaweed bioferment plus organic witch hazel, vitamin C, lemon peel bioferment, and petite grain to help to de-puff and soothe skin.\r\n$55 at GOASkincare.com\r\nClinique All About Clean Charcoal Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nAnyone who hates their oversized pores will love this charcoal mask. Aside from absorbing oil, impurities, and pollutants, it also removes debris deep in your pores, making them appear much smaller after the gunk is out. After using it once or twice a week, you'll have noticeably refreshed skin.\r\n$34 at Amazon.com\r\nPeter Thomas Roth Irish Moor Mud Purifying Black Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nThis mask is a favorite for a reason. Using a combination of Irish Moor Mud — aka a natural decomposition of herbs, flowers, and plants over thousands of years — some hijiki seaweed, volcanic ash, and activated charcoal, the mask will remove dirt, oil, and grime while nourishing your skin with vitamins and antioxidants at the same time. In the end, you'll improve fine lines and wrinkles and the appearance of your complexion and pores — and it only takes 10 minutes, two to three times per week.\r\n$60 at Amazon.com\r\nGlamGlow SUPERMUD Charcoal Instant Treatment Mask\r\n\r\n\r\nDesigned as a purifying treatment for combination or full-on oily skin, this activated charcoal face mask works quickly to fix imperfections. Using not one, not two, but a combined six acid blend – lactic acid, salicylic acid, glycolic acid, mandelic acid, tartaric acid, and pyruvic acid – plus kaolin clay and activated charcoal, results are seen instantly following the tingly application. Since this is a multi-acid product, it may be aggressive for sensitive skin and will increase sun sensitivity, so wearing a quality sunscreen is (always) recommended.\r\n$39.98 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Sunscreens for Men\r\n\tBest Exfoliating Face Scrubs for Men\r\n\tHow to Actually Heal Your Sunscreen", "keywords": "Best, Charcoal, Masks, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/skin/the-best-charcoal-masks-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1722012474.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/skin/the-best-charcoal-masks-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-26 14:06:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53594", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Abortion Misinformation Is All Over the Internet. You Can Blame Big Tech Censorship.", "title_slug": "abortion-misinformation-is-all-over-the-internet-you-can-blame-big-tech-censorship", "title_hash": "b4d3872f98a66223c75c2413f280884d", "summary": "Social media creators and reproductive rights organizations are having their content about abortion censored—including us.\nThe post Abortion Misinformation Is All Over the Internet. You Can Blame Big Tech Censorship. appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

HeyJane, a telemedicine abortion provider, has had its TikTok account banned three times. Plan C, an organization that provides information about accessing abortion pills by mail, has had multiple posts across platforms taken down, along with an Instagram account suspension. Even Rewire News Group’s own TikTok account was banned, without notice or explanation.

These are just a few examples that highlight the widespread issue of social media platforms suppressing abortion and reproductive health-related speech. Activists, doctors, and organizations now fear having their engagement plummet, posts taken down, or accounts banned with even one mention of the word abortion.

Dr. Heather Irobunda, an OB-GYN with New York City Health and Hospitals who has around 80,000 followers on Instagram and nearly 43,000 on TikTok as of publication, attributes her role as a Black physician in the Bronx as a motivator for creating educational social media content, given that abortion bans disproportionately impact Black women and people of color. She said her posts being taken down or flagged “has been a widespread problem” on her accounts.

“The word ‘abortion’ gets flagged a lot, and even words related to reproductive health like ‘vagina’ or ‘vulva’ get flagged by Instagram and TikTok,” Irobunda said. “Sometimes you end up getting community guideline violations, you get your videos taken down, or your engagement goes down. I’ve had videos taken down, and I have decided not to post certain things because I was concerned about it being flagged or taken down.”

TikTok guidelines allow for “reproductive health and sex education content, such as the use of birth control and abortion discussed in a medical or scientific context related to procedures, surgeries, or examinations.” Meta, Facebook and Instagram’s parent company, has no specific mention of abortion, reproductive health, or sex education content in its community standards. Additionally, Instagram said earlier this year it would begin limiting “political content,” without defining whether it qualifies abortion and reproductive health-care content as political.

Though Meta censored abortion-related content even prior to the Supreme Court overturning abortion rights in 2022, as more states ban abortion or even restrict sex education, information access is increasingly vital. It can take weeks to have an account ban or content takedown decision reversed, which is frustrating for activists, health-care providers, and organizations that aim to get accurate and timely information out as quickly as possible.

Niharika Rao, a doula and National Institute for Reproductive Health political and legislative affairs associate, said that when doing work to get medication abortion on campuses, posts would constantly get flagged on Instagram.

“It shouldn’t feel like getting access to health-care [information] is equivalent to a Mission Impossible operation. It should feel as easy as Instagram-messaging a friend,” Rao said.

Social media platforms are flagging medically accurate words like “abortion,” “vulva,” and “vagina” that medical professionals use to communicate information, Irobunda said. To circumvent a platform’s algorithm, some users intentionally change the spelling of words with algospeak like “ab0rshun” or “aborti0n.” But Irobunda said that while these workarounds are clever, it can add to the stigma and make it more difficult to find accurate information.

“The people who are more likely to use the euphemisms are nonprofessionals, which is OK, but the problem is that there is an increasing likelihood of misinformation,” Irobunda said.

Under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, websites can host third-party content and moderate content without being held liable in most cases. In other words, social media companies have a right to choose which speech to host, making it difficult to single out suppression of abortion-related speech.

“There have been claims against a bunch of platforms for deplatforming people or for deprioritizing certain posts—and for the most part, those haven’t been successful.” Kendra Albert, a clinical instructor at Harvard Law School’s Cyberlaw Clinic, said. “Even though platforms are well within their First Amendment rights to decide what is said on their platform, that doesn’t mean there aren’t significant political consequences to suppressing particular forms of speech because they have concerns.”

The political consequences continue to unravel as abortion remains a top issue ahead of the November presidential election. Since Roe v. Wade’s overturn two years ago, several Republican-led states have introduced bills to punish organizations that share information about abortion or abortion medications online. Currently, 21 states ban or restrict abortion. Furthermore, there are open First Amendment questions moving through the courts that could further shape and inform how social media platforms might moderate speech and misinformation.

“All anti-abortion policy and sentiment is about power and control.”

– Jules Edwards, executive director of Abortion Care Tennessee

Social media, though often a breeding ground for mis- and disinformation, democratizes access to information, particularly in areas of the country where abortion is banned or comprehensive sex education is not taught in classrooms. In fact, young people in states where abortion is banned rely on TikTok as a resource, especially to hear from people who have had abortions.

For Abortion Care Tennessee, an organization that helps pregnant Tennesseans travel out of state for abortion care, an online presence is critical to raising awareness of its services. But the organization continues to face lower engagement and community guideline violations when it includes abortion-related hashtags or even donation links in its posts.

“For pro-abortion organizations trying to do reproductive justice work in ban states, oftentimes we won’t have a brick-and-mortar building where people can come in and see us, so our online presence is the only way that people can get plugged into our community, our services, and our education that we’re trying to offer,” Jules Edwards, Abortion Care Tennessee’s executive director, said.

“The South is in an access crisis, which means the South is also in need of more information, education, and resources than ever before, especially given how people find information about abortion services, which is primarily online or via word of mouth with trusted folks in their networks,” Edwards added.

Adding to the already tenuous relationship between abortion speech and social media platforms is the looming possibility of losing TikTok altogether. In April, President Joe Biden signed legislation that would force the sale of TikTok by January 19, 2025 or face a ban; a hearing before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia is scheduled for September 16.

“All anti-abortion policy and sentiment is about power and control,” Edwards said. “It makes perfect sense to me that opposition to abortion or conservative lawmakers would see the power behind people having access to free and accurate information, and so I don’t feel like the TikTok ban is coming out of nowhere.”

In the meantime, activists and organizations are calling on Meta and TikTok to be more transparent in how their content moderation practices apply to abortion-related content. A recent report from the human rights organization Amnesty International outlined recommendations for Meta and TikTok, specifically asking them to mitigate the spread of false abortion information, combat the harms from suppressing abortion-related speech, as well as increase transparency around the algorithm and bolster access to accurate abortion information.

“We shouldn’t have private companies’ interests dictate speech, because then you’re only going to have commercial, market-friendly, and advertiser-friendly speech prioritized,” Rao said. “I don’t want to be having to beg Meta to be able to post on what effectively functions like a public forum.”

Editor’s note: The author previously worked with Kendra Albert as a research assistant for the Initiative for a Representative First Amendment, but is not currently affiliated with the Harvard Cyberlaw Clinic.

The post Abortion Misinformation Is All Over the Internet. You Can Blame Big Tech Censorship. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, people have been reaching out to abortion funds for help in historic numbers. In the first year after the decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the National Network of Abortion Funds, a nationwide network of 100 abortion funds, financially supported more than 100,000 people seeking abortion care. NNAF disbursed over $36 million to people seeking abortions, and an additional $10 million in practical support funding, which includes transportation, lodging, and child care.

The decision also resulted in abortion funds receiving unprecedented amounts in donations. An influx of donations to Indigenous Women Rising, an abortion fund dedicated to Native and Indigenous people in the United States and Canada, allowed the organization to double its staff and expand employee benefits.

“We’re so grateful for the folks around the globe who donated right after Dobbs,” said Rachael Lorenzo, Indigenous Women Rising’s executive director. “I’m proud of using those funds to invest in my staff because the work that we do requires a lot of emotional labor, and I want to compensate them for the heavy work they do. It’s made such a positive impact on our organization, especially since a majority of our staff do not have college degrees.”

However, that level of donations has not been maintained since what Sylvia Ghazarian, executive director of the Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project, a national abortion fund, calls 2022’s “rage giving.”

Ghazarian said when it comes to donations since Dobbs, “we’ve reversed back to where it was. We’re in constant fundraising mode because a person can’t wait to have an abortion.”

At the same time, expenses have only grown as state abortion bans and restrictions made getting care more complicated and onerous.

“All of us across the board have seen an increase in legal and security costs, which have skyrocketed,” Ghazarian said. “That’s just the reality of this crisis.”

Doing a lot with a little

Abortion funds have been largely ignored by traditional philanthropy and therefore rely heavily on individual donors, making financial planning difficult, if not impossible. Many funds operate on such thin margins that they can’t afford to hire development staff and often don’t have anyone with fundraising expertise.

“We aren’t funded enough to bring in development experts,” Lexis Dotson-Dufault, executive director of the Abortion Fund of Ohio, said. “This is something that a lot of abortion funds struggle with.”

Dotson-Dufault said about 70 percent of the organization’s funding is from grassroots donors, and a lot of those supporters are “in the same demographic as the people we help fund.”

“It’s hard to rely on the same people that also need our services,” Dotson-Dufault said. “I’m really trying to get these relationships with larger donors, talking to them about why this is important. Our funding is so fluctuating, and it’s hard to change your budget every month, every week, every few days.”

Some abortion funds have been navigating not only total abortion bans, but also the possibility of criminal charges for even helping abortion seekers.

Adding to costs for abortion funds is helping people travel to another state for abortion care.

“We immediately got [legal] advice not to fund at all, and also not even to [provide] advice, which was the part that really has been frustrating because all of our advice had to look like giving information and not advice at all,” said Jenice Fountain, executive director of the Yellowhammer Fund in Alabama, where a total abortion ban went into effect on the same day as the Dobbs decision.

Yellowhammer Fund adapted by compiling resources “explicitly saying what was possible,” Fountain said. The organization also decided to create safety nets and started a legal fund for people who might be criminalized for trying to get across state lines, which “we haven’t had to use yet, thankfully,” Fountain said.

“It’s also for folks that try to self-manage their care, people that had their pregnancy outcomes criminalized, and people impacted by Child Protective Services,” Fountain added.

This ability to change tactics quickly is the great superpower that funds possess.

“Abortion funds are the most adept and flexible and compassionate group of organizers in the country,” Lorenzo said. “We have done so much with so little, and even with the influx of donations, we’re doing our best to build up infrastructures in a way to make sure our communities’ needs are being met.”

Indigenous Women Rising, like abortion funds across the country, has also expanded its mutual aid efforts, distributing items that are often beyond its clients’ budgets, which includes everything from baby and new parent supplies to menstrual hygiene products.

“It isn’t just about abortion,” Lorenzo said. “We don’t live single-issue lives and we try to work by that. We’re still working in states where abortion is banned completely, and being the only Native-centered, Native-led abortion fund in the country, we also have other considerations to make especially around tribal sovereignty and civil jurisdiction: Is the state where a caller is from a tribe that is federally recognized or state recognized? Where do they typically receive their health care? We have to be conscious of all these layers as a Native organization.”

Adding to costs for abortion funds is helping people travel to another state for abortion care; in fact, interstate travel has more than doubled in the first six months of 2023, compared to the same amount of time in 2020, according to the Guttmacher Institute.

When Florida’s six-week abortion ban went into effect on May 1, “it exhausted a lot of abortion funds across the state,” said Ciné Julien, reproductive justice network-building associate at the Florida Access Network, the only statewide abortion fund in Florida. Clients who leave the state for abortion care travel hundreds of miles.

“We’ve really been going through our funds faster because of the higher lift of travel and practical support needs,” Julien said. “Someone traveling out of the state averages about $1,200 to $1,500, and that’s three times what people would pay for in-state care.”

In 2023, Florida Access Network dispersed about $400,000 to support 1,500 Floridians to pay for their appointments and travel care. In contrast, since the six-week ban went into effect on May 1, Florida Access Network funded 150 people for abortion care and are on track to disperse $100,000 by the end of this month.

Sustained investment is necessary

Navigating financial instability, clinic closures, and overnight legal changes are issues that abortion funds have always faced.

“That’s the only way I’ve ever known this work—to be chaotic and ridiculous. I’ve never known a moment of stability,” said Megan Jeyifo, executive director of the Chicago Abortion Fund. “But that’s where we really shine: If we see a problem and something isn’t working, we’ll change it. We’re not tied to some kind of process for process’s sake. We have to use each moment as a catalyst to get to the next moment. We are trying to be as nimble as possible because this moment demands that—it demands creativity and flexibility.”

That flexibility is how abortion funds are able to pivot quickly, especially in states like Arizona where abortion was “constantly flipping being banned and legal,” Eloisa Lopez, executive director of the Abortion Fund of Arizona, said, referencing the Arizona Supreme Court ruling in April that the state’s 1864 abortion ban can be enforced; about a month later, Gov. Katie Hobbs signed a bill to repeal the ban.

“What we did last year may or may not work for this year and we are understanding that the landscape is constantly shifting,” Lopez said. “Even though we are based in Arizona and the majority of our patients come from Arizona or the Southwest, we’re also collaborating with other funds in the Midwest, the South.”

“Depending on what sibling funds are expressing—maybe they’re going through a financial hardship and other funds need to lean in to help them out?—there are always shifts happening, and that’s a key element of our work: Be flexible to meet the need in that moment,” Lopez continued.

Abortion funds also have a unique perspective on abortion seekers’ needs and are constantly adapting to meet those needs as well.

“There are all sorts of barriers that a lot of people don’t anticipate and most people in this country don’t think about when it comes to abortion,” said Diana Parker-Kafka, executive director of the Midwest Access Coalition, an abortion fund helping people travel to, from, and within the Midwest. “Getting to abortion care is a huge, huge issue. It’s often more expensive than the procedure itself.”

Traveling for several days to get an abortion means taking time off work and often figuring out child care, as 70 percent of the Midwest Access Coalition’s clients are already parents to young children, according to Parker-Kafka.

In the two years since the Dobbs decision, Midwest Access Coalition has increased its practical support efforts, which includes not only providing financial assistance with all of these costs, but also logistical and emotional support. It also developed a software program to distribute cash directly to their clients while they are in an abortion clinic to cover any additional expenses outside the abortion procedure, such as food, pain medication, and child care.

Major, sustained investment is necessary for abortion funds to be able to continue providing this vital role in the abortion access ecosystem.

“If we want this access to continue during Trump, during the right-wing take-over of the courts, we need to decide as a community to continue to pay for it,” Parker-Kafka said. “Whether that’s by individual donations or telling your city or state to start ponying up, and start using the massive amounts of money that they have at their disposal to support body autonomy. It’s extremely expensive work, but it’s direct service and it gets results. People who don’t want to be pregnant don’t have to be if they reach out to an abortion fund and get connected.”

The post A New Normal for Abortion Funds Without ‘Roe’ appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": ", New, Normal, for, Abortion, Funds, Without, ‘Roe’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "111", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/IMG_6573-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/22/a-new-normal-for-abortion-funds-without-roe/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-25 05:46:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53029", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is My Partner a Narcissist?", "title_slug": "is-my-partner-a-narcissist", "title_hash": "6a104b589680147563ebd9e6db294420", "summary": "The answer is probably no since only .5%- 5% of the population is actually diagnosed with Narcissist Personality Disorder, but many people do exhibit narcissist-like behavior. This behavior can be […]\nThe post Is My Partner a Narcissist? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

The answer is probably no since only .5%- 5% of the population is actually diagnosed with Narcissist Personality Disorder, but many people do exhibit narcissist-like behavior. This behavior can be […]

The post Is My Partner a Narcissist? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Partner, Narcissist", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/GettyImages-1914300725-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/is-my-partner-a-narcissist/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-24 05:16:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "53028", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: I Wish I Never Confessed To My Husband", "title_slug": "true-life-story-i-wish-i-never-confessed-to-my-husband", "title_hash": "f5562f8c13c8e9bd93de30a3dbc3e5b9", "summary": "True Life Story: I Wish I Never Confessed To My Husband Dear Lively Stones, Its funny how I was just scrolling through the internet when this story caught my attention. At first, I was praying this story (click here to read the story) was not like mine but indeed, it had so many similarities with […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: I Wish I Never Confessed To My Husband

Dear Lively Stones,

Its funny how I was just scrolling through the internet when this story caught my attention. At first, I was praying this story (click here to read the story) was not like mine but indeed, it had so many similarities with mine. And this moved me to share my story. First of all, I want the poster not to confess to her husband what happened to her in that house party. The confession will lead to chaos and happiness may never be found in her marriage again.

My story is long but let me shorten it: I was married to my Terry (not real name) after 5 years of dating on and off. On and off cos he was abroad for most of the time doing his masters. Eventually we got married and life was good. We had twins and one boy. Every holiday, we travelled to the US, for vacation. Then, my husband got an offer in an oil and gas company that required him to travel quite alot. It was hard juggling three children all by myself so I had to stop work to become full time mom & wife. Money was not a problem for us.

However, being a stay home mom opened my eyes to some kind of loneliness. I mean, when the kids are gone to bed, its just me and my pillow. My husband may be unreachable most times. I even began to suspect he was seeing other people cos, how can someone be away from their wife for so long without s3x? So I started masturbating and using pornography. Then one day, I clicked on meeting guys online…and thereafter met up in a hotel and I cheated. Immediately I did it, I h@ted myself. I was disgusted. I wanted to confess and vomit. I cried for days until my husband came home and I could not hold myself, I confessed.

The reaction I got after my confession was not what I got. After I was done with confession, hubby said its ok. That he understands, that we are all humans. I was shocked. So I asked if its because he too is cheating that is why he is not mad at me? He said, babe, if you are being honest, I think you already know the answer to that question….I said so you are cheating? And he said, no…you are the one I am cheating with….I had to get married to cover my secret.

What secret? My husband said he is bisexual and to hide his relationship with the man he is in love with for the past seven years, he had to get married to remove all suspicions away from their relationship. Now,….that was a game changer. I suspected he was cheating but he was f#cking a man was not in the least around my thinking at all.

I was mad at him now…I told him he is a f#cking hypocrite….I cursed him with all the abuses I knew but he was just calm. When I was done, he just said, babe…nothing has changed between us, I am still your loving husband and great dad to our kids…I still love you…I only told you my secret because I felt I could trust you, after you cheated on me with another man…so please lets not make this a big deal.

Infact, he said…I will not stop you if you want to sleep with other men. I am a free thinker. Love is love…sleep with whoever you want, it will not affect our relationship at all. After all these talk, my husband went to sleep. I could not sleep…I wanted answers but he would not tell me who the man he is in love with. I have tried everything to find out but I cannot find out. I cant hack his phone cos he is an IT guru, his devices are heavily protected.

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Now, I am feeling so stupid. Like, why did I bother to confess. What gain was that to me? I now know that my husband only married me as a cover up…he is not in love with me…he is just being polite with me…my husband’s side piece is a man whom he has been in love with even before he married me? So now, do I just continue in this marriage like normal or what should I do in this situation?

I have thought of divorcing him, that will not be a problem cos he will settle me very well but I am in love with him all the same…how do I just accept that he is bisexual? Just like that? Its hard for me to accept but I truly love my husband…that is why I blame myself for confessing…I truly wish I never knew his secret…cos, what am I supposed to do with this secret? If you were in my shoes, what will you do?

Anonymous

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True Life Story: Avoiding Confession Was The Best Decision At That Time To Save My Future Marriage Until Now

Hello Lively Stones,

Let me add my story to this confession thing. I personally feel that if something as bad as cheating happens in a relationship, one has to be very careful before confession is ever an option. This is my view (not everyone will do like me, and I dont blame them) but I want to explain my view. The reason is, every relationship is different and every circumstance is also different. Sometimes, not confessing, shields loved ones from pain and prevents destruction of a relationship that has been build for years.

I do not support cheating but if you love someone and you cheat once, I believe, you should spare that loved one the painful details of confession. I was a JAMBITE when I met Dotun (my husband but not real name). We became friends and joined the same fellowship and were supper vibrant in campus fellowship for many years. At my final, Dotun proposed to me and we were both elated at the future of being husband and wife.

During my NYSC, I met this pregnant girl during the camp and we became very close friends. Because of her condition, she left camp after a few days but we stayed in touch. And cos of her liking to me, she spoke to the zonal coordinator and I was posted to the town where she lives with her husband.

Uju and her husband took a liking to me and I used to come to their house quite often cos the life of a Yoruba corper in the East where I served can be boring. I used to even have sleep overs at their place. A particular hot afternoon, I called Uju that I was coming to their place so I can collect AC in their house. She was like, she is not home but I could collect key from their security man and wait in the house.

On getting to their apartment, since it was so hot, I took off my clothes and decided to sleep only in my underwear in the visitor’s room. I slept off and woke up like a few minutes later and felt someone touching me and trying to shift my undies and finger me. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but it became more intimate and I woke up to see Uju’s husband on me, he was caressing me, squeezing my breasts and fingering me.

Apparently, he returned home and saw I was sleeping and came to me. I tried to push him off but he kept pleading with me, that he is frustrated, that his wife does not give him s3x cos of her pregnancy, that he has been feeling so horny and he just wants me to help him to release, that he will not penetrate me but just feel the tip of my vagina. He kept insisting and I kept pushing and he eventually started jerking….I think he was coming and he did release all over me before I could say stop.

After he released, he started cleaning me up and saying he is sorry ….that he does not know what came over him…Then he started crying. I was now confused. I told him its ok…at least he he did penetrate, so its ok,….he was like, he is still in pains….that releasing without penetration pains him. I began to feel sorry for him cos I was thinking he truly was being denied by his wife cos of her pregnancy.

Then he begged me to just allow him penetrate and promised that it will be just the tip. He said he wants to be able to release the pain he was feeling. I told him I cant cos I am engaged and he said, its not real s3x but just a ‘‘tip stimulation”. I then agreed to help him. What I did not know was that, I would feel a warm sensation as he penetrated me. It was my first time…and as he come inside me, I held on to him…I did not want him to stop.

As he promised, he pulled out before anything could happen. But then, I was now feeling so warm that I wanted him…as he tried to get up, I pulled him back and began to kiss him. Long story, I made him have full s3x with me. And this guy was magical. I experienced s3x with my friend’s husband after keeping my virginity for almost 24 years. I was supposed to reserve this for Dotun on our wedding night.

We both felt so guilty but the deed was done. It was a big mistake and we both acknowledged it was done in a moment of weakness. This guy loves his wife and I love my fiancé and husband to be. I cleaned up and dressed up before my friend would return and left without seeing her. I lied that I had something to do and I left her house immediately. That guilt almost ate me up for several weeks. I had to confide in my best friend Wunmi who was in Lagos. Wunmi advised me not to tell Dotun and she explained that it was a mistake that could end my marriage plans to Dotun.

I got married to Dotun after my NYSC. I never told him and I will never tell him. It was a one time thing and its in my past. I still maintain a cordial relationship with Uju but never ever had anything else to do with her husband. Why did I not tell Dotun as Wunmi advised? Why should I destroy a relationship of over six years cos of one mistake that happened under one hour? I prayed to God for forgiveness and all I know is, HE has forgiven me and I need to move on and not dwell on my past mistakes.

Funny thing is, on my wedding night ….s3x felt like it was the first time…I love Dotun and he remains my king and my world. I will never cheat on him but then, I was naive….I thought I was helping a man in pain…now, I am more mature and can never do such a thing. My husband is a good man and we have been married for almost eight years now. Now, my best friend who has since relocated out of the country called me one day and said her conscience is troubling her about my secret from years back.

You know, she is the only one who I told. Wunmi says she thinks I should confess to my husband, because she has had a change of heart and she has seen her advise was wrong. She told me that even though I feel God has forgiven me, that until I ask Dotun for forgiveness, that I have not truly repented from my sin. Do you agree with her? I don’t cos like I said before….its my past and it happened only one time.

After almost a decade, of what use will any confession be to my marriage with children now? If you were in my shoes, would you open your mouth and confess? What good will it do to anyone? Does keeping this away from my husband mean that I am not repentant of the sin? Please share your thoughts…my only fear is that, I hope Wunmi’s conscience will not move her to tell my husband herself….I warned her not to do so and she agreed but you know human beings….

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I just need you guys to see my point and advise further…do you think confession is the way after almost 9 years since the issue happened? I really wish I did not tell anyone…that is my only fear now…Do you think Wunmi would ever go behind my back and betray me? This her new conscience is my headache now…..confession is out out the question…I cannot do anything to destroy my happy home….what should I do?

Anonymous

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$\"in-field$ Guys can make meeting new women a lot more complicated than it needs to be. Whether you need to build momentum or just get into a social mood, start by making an approach.

Contents

I. Where to Start

\n
Shake Things Up
\n
\n
Stay Active and Positive
\n

II. Put Yourself Out There

III. What to Avoid

IV. Exceptions

1. What to Understand First

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today’s post is beginner-friendly and may benefit intermediate players (and even pros).

It covers an in-field philosophy that has helped me tremendously.

The opportunities are ripe for the picking, but you are simply not seeing them.

Or you may not see them clearly.

Perhaps the problem is that you have not created those openings.

The result? You may begin to stress, feel anxious, demoralized, and demotivated.

\n\n\n

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$\"TEXT\"$ A reader wonders if he may simply not have what it takes to seduce women. Are there men who lack the ‘right stuff’ to put new girls into their beds?

Commenting on my article “Don't Hate the Player. And Don't Hate the Game”, a reader named Garud says

He raises some interesting questions.

Because the fact is, we all have quite varying natures.

Some of us are inclined to this game of seducing women far more than others.

What do you do if you just are not ‘seducer material’?

\n\n\n

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$\"is$ Half of young women spend 3+ hours a day on social media. But what about you – must you be on social media if you hope to get girls?

The other day, a forum member posted a video of social media influencer Michael Sartain talking about (among other things) the crucial importance of social media to getting girls:

I only watched the first 10 minutes or so. However, in that 10 minutes, Sartain makes a number of strident (one might say absolutist) claims about how social media is the present and future of socializing. He suggests that if you’re not using social media you’re a dinosaur who’s been left behind socially. You can’t have a social life without social media and you’re not going to get girls without social media, Sartain submits.

Longtime Girls Chase readers will know I find this position silly. But I haven’t discussed it in-depth in over a decade. Since then, a number of new social media platforms have emerged. People are every bit as crazy about social media now as they were when I first wrote on it, and you will still find social media mavens like Sartain harping on about the pivotal importance of social media to one’s friendships, love life, and career.

So, has anything changed?

Has social media indeed taken over in the dozen years since I last wrote on it – and made those not all-in on social media ancient relics which time forgot?

\n\n\n

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Password, His, Girlfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/image4.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/man-jumped-into-the-ocean-in-an-attempt-to-avoid-giving-phone-password-to-his-girlfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52872", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dubai Millionaire’s Wife Complains About Life with a Man Who ‘Constantly Treats Her and Buys Things’", "title_slug": "dubai-millionaires-wife-complains-about-life-with-a-man-who-constantly-treats-her-and-buys-things", "title_hash": "4e1cb411eb07161ce049411df5130ec6", "summary": "Imagine a life of luxury where every day includes diamond-studded shoes, Michelin-starred meals, designer bags, and boundless cash.…", "content": "Imagine a life of luxury where every day includes diamond-studded shoes, Michelin-starred meals, designer bags, and boundless cash.…", "keywords": "Dubai, Millionaire’s, Wife, Complains, About, Life, with, Man, Who, ‘Constantly, Treats, Her, and, Buys, Things’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "213", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/image5.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/dubai-millionaires-wife-complains-about-life-with-a-man-who-constantly-treats-her-and-buys-things/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52869", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Sex Toys for Couples", "title_slug": "best-sex-toys-for-couples", "title_hash": "a7ae97da1a96924e7986ead8d6bb9dc9", "summary": "Product images from retailer sites.\r\n\r\nSex between two people is a tried-and-true formula. You find somewhere private, you get naked, you go at it. We’ve been doing it for millennia — why switch it up now?\r\nBut technology has changed our lives for the better in many ways, and there’s no reason why a little high-tech wizardry can’t do the same in bed. Sex toys may be something people have historically associated with single women (or very lonely guys), but today, they’re no different from any other digital gadget you might own — sleek, smart, and capable of highly impressive things. \r\nThey’re also increasingly designed not just for horny singles but for couples play, and there are things on offer for people of all genders (and genitalia). These days, the only thing holding people back from amping up their sex life with a little high-tech action is often the perception that a sex toy is a guy’s competition in bed — rather than his teammate. \r\nRELATED: Why You Should Buy Your Partner a Se", "content": "Product images from retailer sites.\r\n\r\nSex between two people is a tried-and-true formula. You find somewhere private, you get naked, you go at it. We’ve been doing it for millennia — why switch it up now?\r\nBut technology has changed our lives for the better in many ways, and there’s no reason why a little high-tech wizardry can’t do the same in bed. Sex toys may be something people have historically associated with single women (or very lonely guys), but today, they’re no different from any other digital gadget you might own — sleek, smart, and capable of highly impressive things. \r\nThey’re also increasingly designed not just for horny singles but for couples play, and there are things on offer for people of all genders (and genitalia). These days, the only thing holding people back from amping up their sex life with a little high-tech action is often the perception that a sex toy is a guy’s competition in bed — rather than his teammate. \r\nRELATED: Why You Should Buy Your Partner a Sex Toy \r\nBut facing your fears can be the best thing you’ve ever done in this situation, because it can unlock not just toy-assisted pleasure but also the power of communication. When you and your partner (or partners) get comfortable talking about sex — what works and what doesn’t — it becomes a whole different world. When you buy a couples sex toy, you’re buying yourself a ticket to a world of more open, honest and straightforward sex. \r\nBut you don’t want to buy just any sex toy — you want one that’s well-made, that’s in your price range, and that’s right for you. That’s why we put together this list.\r\n\r\nThe Best Sex Toys for Couples\r\n\r\nWe-Vibe Sync O\r\n\r\nWe-Vibe’s Chorus toy has long been a mainstay of online Best Couples Toy lists, but we think their new Sync O is even better. Designed to amplify penis-in-vagina sex, it’s a dream for hetero couples since it stimulates the G-spot, the penis and the clitoris all at the same time. Plus, it’s Bluetooth-enabled, meaning you can control the vibrations’ intensity with your phone. Not too shabby.$127.00 at We-Vibe.com\r\nLovense Lush 3 Egg Vibrator\r\n\r\nThis remote-controlled hands-free vibrator is designed to give you maximum control over your partner’s pleasure, and it’s perfect for long-distance or discreet public play. Completely waterproof with a slim, ergonomic design, it includes multiple speed settings and even allows you to sync its rhythms to music, allowing for endless creativity between the sheets, in the shower, and beyond.$119.00 at Lovense.com\r\nMagic Wand Rechargeable\r\n\r\nThe Magic Wand was originally created to relieve tension and relax sore muscles, but quickly made its way down south and became recognized as a sex toy in the 1960s. The Magic Wand Rechargeable improves on the classic model, featuring a variety of powerful, penetrating vibrations with multiple patterns and intensities to please men and women alike. Plus, it’s cordless, so you can take the wand just about anywhere to relieve tension … wherever it may be.$139.95 at GoodVibes.com\r\nLelo Hugo 2 Prostate Massager\r\n\r\nLELO’s sequel to its immensely popular Hugo prostate massager, the Hugo 2, is here. A refinement of the original rather than a radical reboot, it boasts powerful motors, a sleek and P-spot friendly shape and, of course, Bluetooth connectivity so it can be controlled by one partner while the other luxuriates in the pleasure.$155.00 at Lelo.com\r\nWe-Vibe Pivot\r\n\r\nSpeaking of remote controls, the We-Vibe Pivot brings your partner control over the vibrations in a different location — the base of your erection. So while it’s gripping your shaft tightly to keep it extra hard as any cock ring would, it’s also thrumming and buzzing and driving you wild with pleasure like a vibrating one — with the added bonus that your partner’s the one dictating the exact vibratory patterns.\r\n$109 at Lovehoney.com\r\nDame Eva II\r\n\r\nThe Eva II from Dame boasts a devilishly clever design that uses a pair of flexible ‘wings’ to hold itself in place between the clit and the vaginal opening, meaning the wearer can get clitoral pleasure while being penetrated. And yes, the penis will feel the vibrations, too. Win-win!$140 at Dame.com\r\nWomanizer Next\r\n\r\nFor many clit-havers, airflow-based toys offer the best possible clitoral stimulation, since they pack a sensorial punch without wearing down the nerves through direct physical contact. What that means is multi-orgasmic potential, and the small size and sleek shape make the Womanizer Next an awesome and inconspicuous addition to penetrative or oral sex. $219.00 at Womanizer.com \r\nBender G-Spot Vibrator\r\n\r\nThe Bender G-Spot Vibrator can be twisted, turned and molded however you want, making it an ideal couples vibrator. It can also be wrapped around the shaft and used as a makeshift cock ring. Get creative with it!\r\n$71 at UnboundBabes.com\r\nVeDO Yumi Compact Silicone Finger Vibrator\r\n\r\n\r\nThe YUMI finger vibe is proof that good things come in small packages. Just slip your digits through its one-size-fits-all finger grip and stimulate your partner manually — only this time, you’ve got the added power of vibration. With the YUMI finger vibe, you become the sex toy.\r\n$45.99 at Amazon.com\r\nplusOne Rose Arouser\r\n\r\nYou may have noticed the preponderance of rose-shaped sex toys online in recent years. They’re being made by all kinds of different brands — but this one, by plusOne, is a standout. It’s incredibly cheap compared to almost every other electricity-powered toy out there, but doesn’t compromise on quality, so you can go to town on a clit-having partner while they go to town on themself. Hot, and aesthetically pleasing.$27.99 at MyPlusOne.com\r\nReal Vibes Anal Trainer Kit\r\n\r\nThis kit is ideal for anal beginners because it includes four plug sizes that allow you to start smaller and then explore plugs of increasing size. These plugs are designed with narrow tips that gradually widen for easy insertion and suction cups at the base for hands-free play. They can help to prepare for anal sex, be used to achieve double penetration or even used in masturbation to stimulate anal nerve endings. However you choose to use them, be sure to pair the Real Vibes Anal Training Kit plugs with plenty of lube.\r\n$15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCuffies\r\n\r\nInterested in exploring some bondage play? Standard cuffs can be uncomfortable with users fumbling with chains, buckles and locks, but Cuffies are unique in that they’re made from strong body-safe silicone. Basically, they’re resilient, ideal for getting into different positions and can be stretched to fit wrists of all sizes.\r\n$19 at UnboundBabes.com\r\nFemme Funn Bougie Wand\r\n\r\nIf the Magic Wand Rechargeable seems a little too big to bring into bed with the two of you, perhaps a smaller wand — like Femme Funn’s Bougie Wand — is the move. In addition to its chic metal finish being aesthetically pleasing, it’s also designed to be used as part of temperature play since it can retain both hot and cold temperatures, especially for use in a nice bath.$146.99 at FemmeFunn.com\r\nLelo Personal Moisturizer\r\n\r\nAny number of reasons can mean that P-i-V sex requires a bit more lube than the vagina can produce. It’s always a good idea to have some high-quality lubricant on hand, and if you’re using it with toys, you should opt for a water-based lube, since silicone-based lubes will degrade silicone-based toys (Science!). Smooth and slick and sleek, Lelo’s entry in this category is one of the absolute best available.\r\n$21 at Amazon.com\r\nKiiroo Onyx+ & Pearl2 Couple Set\r\n\r\nIf you’re doing the long-distance thing, you might want to invest in Kiiroo’s answer to long-distance sex: the Onyx+ and Pearl2 set. The toys are Bluetooth enabled, and can communicate directly with one another, meaning when one partner thrusts into the Onyx+, the other partner’s Pearl2 vibrates. Yep — you can literally feel each other from half the world away.$396 at Kiiroo.com\r\nThe Pelvic People Ohnut Depth-Limiting Rings\r\n\r\nIf you’re in a relationship with a partner who experiences vaginal pain from penetrative sex, you should seriously consider getting the Ohnut rings from The Pelvic People. This is a genius device to help couples achieve intercourse that’s pleasurable and not painful simply by limiting how deep penetration can get. The Ohnut is both stackable and stretchy, meaning it can be used with a variety of penis shapes and sizes; it retains body heat, and, most importantly, it helps the penetrated partner enjoy sex that won’t hurt them.$75.00 at ThePelvicPeople.com\r\nDesire Luxury Rechargeable Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibrator\r\n\r\nA strapless strap-on? How can it be? Well it’s actually quite simple. The Desire Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibrator utilizes the wearer’s Kegel muscles by inserting the shorter of two shafts, called the “pony.” Then, adjust the pony to find the best fit and angle that works for both partners, and explore the full range of vibration speeds and patterns to benefit from shared arousal.\r\n$99.99 at Lovehoney.com\r\nLiberator Wedge & Ramp\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Liberator Wedge & Ramp offers extra height for ease of entry, which makes a man’s penis feel larger as it can penetrate more deeply. The wedge’s design helps hit the G-spot or the prostate for feel-good effective sex. The Liberator Wedge is also great for female masturbation, offering the best angle for more effective use of all toys for solo orgasms. When the fun's over, just remove the cover — it's washable for easy cleanup.\r\n$239 at Amazon.com\r\nEpiphany Clit Arousal Serum\r\n\r\nIf you’re in a relationship where a clitoris-having partner experiences less desire than they’d like to, and struggles to orgasm during sex, it could be time to try Epiphany’s Clit Arousal Serum. It’s designed to produce a tingling sensation on the clitoris that stimulates its highly sensitive nerve endings, to help make sex (and masturbation) not just more exciting, but also more orgasmic.$42.00 at TryEpiphany.com\r\nFun Factory Manta\r\n\r\nThe Manta is sort a mix of a cock ring, a stroker, and a wrench. (Well, the last part being more a question of form than function.) It’s designed both for solo and couples play, and can work to add a little spice to a great blowjob with its 12 sexy settings as well.$139.99 at Lovehoney.com\r\nJimmyJane Contour M Ceramic Massage Stone\r\n\r\nTo go along with the Afterglow Massage Oil Candle (or just on its own), the Contour M is a great rubbing stone for couples massage. Straight up, sometimes our partners want us to rub their backs, but we're feeling tired and kind of lazy and don’t want to show it. This stone is the savior. It cuts down the work, while also giving your partner a strong, enjoyable massage (which probably beats your lazy hands, anyway). Plus, the Contour M holds to body temperature, and is ergonomic.\r\n$19.99 at JimmyJane.com\r\nLovehoney All You Need and More Bondage Kit\r\n\r\nIf you’re interested in taking your coupled sex to a kinkier place, but aren’t sure where to start, the All You Need and More Bondage Kit from Lovehoney might be just what you’re looking for. It features both wrist and ankle restraints, a blindfold, a spanking paddle, silicone nipple suckers, and more, meaning you’re ready to start exploring bondage play, impact play, and sensation play all at once.\r\n$74.99 at Lovehoney.com\r\nWild Flower Enby 2\r\n\r\nFlexible, genderless, weird — the Enby 2 is a great option for couples who feel a little outside the gender binary and/or who like to get creative in the sheets. You can fold it, press it, lie against it, rub it on someone, all while it vibrates — without feeling or looking like a traditional sex toy or a set of genitals.$74.99 at WildFlowerSex.com\r\nLELO Toy Cleaning Spray\r\n\r\nIf your bedroom hosts a library of sexual playthings, you should at least make sure they’re clean. Alcohol- and paraben-free, LELO’s cleaning formula is a quality, effective and affordable choice for sex toys of any shape or size.\r\n$10.30 at Lelo.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Sex Swings & How to Use ThemWhy You Should Buy Yourself a Sex ToyExploring the Art of Rough Sex", "keywords": "Best, Sex, Toys, for, Couples", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/sex-toys-for-couples/askmen-lead-image-template-1695135136.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/sex-toys-for-couples.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52870", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Do Women Really Like Bad Boys More?", "title_slug": "do-women-really-like-bad-boys-more", "title_hash": "320b4329cccf47d245b4ff7388c8e023", "summary": "Do women tend to go for the \"bad boy\" - or is it something else?", "content": "The idea that nice guys finish last, and that women prefer bad boys, is a long-standing and well-worn trope in our culture.\r\nExamples seem to abound of guys who have little by way of money or job, but seem to exude a natural rebellious charm that women go crazy for. On the flipside, milquetoast nice guys who can’t seem to get a date would seem to abound. \r\nBut is this anecdotal evidence proof of anything? Or just a sign of widespread confirmation bias? \r\nRELATED: 5 Types of Men Women Find Attractive \r\nMoreover, when you dig into it, many believe that the so-called “nice guys” are not actually even that nice, and that the so-called “bad boys” may not be so bad either. So what does this all mean? \r\nIn order to get to the bottom of it, AskMen spoke to a handful of dating experts, as well as people who date men, to see if we could clarify the bad boy/nice guy debate once and for all. Here’s what they had to say:\r\n\r\nDo Women Really Like Bad Boys?\r\n\r\nThe first thing that’s useful to remember is that, like any gender, women aren’t a monolith. So even if some women find the ‘bad boy’ archetype attractive, to say that all women do is plainly untrue, even without taking lesbians and asexual women into account. \r\nSo the question might then be better phrased as: Do significantly more women find bad boys more attractive than nice guys? And it’s not clear that this is the case, either. \r\n“Most women I hear from are looking for someone who is kind and respectful,” says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject. “The biggest complaint I hear nowadays is probably that men aren't being gentlemen!”\r\n“The notion of ‘women liking bad boys’ sometimes comes from men with ‘nice guy’ syndrome, who get rejected by women and don't want to face what actually caused them to be rejected, so they claim it’s just because they're so nice and women prefer men who are less ‘nice,’” she suggests. \r\nHowever, there is some truth to the notion that bad boys have a certain attractive quality to them, Weiss admits. \r\n“There also may be elements of the cultural construction of masculinity that favor ‘bad boys,’” she says. “Society says that men should be bold, brave, and strong and not give a fuck. Someone who takes risks and breaks the rules may fit this ideal, and to an extent, this may be what people (of all genders) are conditioned to see as ‘cool.’”\r\n“There’s also an element of dominance to the bad boy archetype, which is also part of the societal ideal of masculinity,” Weiss notes. On the flip side, she says, “Some women may be attracted to bad boys because they tend to follow the rules and play it safe, so they are attracted to someone who is their opposite.”\r\n\r\n“All of the dudes I date are ‘bad boys’ that have nice boy qualities. My heart and mind scream, ‘I can change him!’” - Chelle, 33\r\n\r\n“I think there are two different things going on when the term ‘bad boy’ is used,” says psychotherapist Rachel Goldberg, LMFT. “The first is somebody who is confident and assertive, knows what they want, and can communicate that clearly. They have healthy boundaries and a strong sense of self. They may be categorized as a ‘bad boy’ in certain contexts because they don't put up with certain things or may seem aloof in certain circumstances.”\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Communicate Your Needs While Dating \r\n“However, I think what is often meant by ‘bad boy’ is someone who isn't able to commit, or who is risk-taking,” Goldberg adds. “When a woman is attracted to someone like that, it is often a result of her not truly knowing what she wants, or being attracted to something others are drawn to, and not truly being secure with herself. This type of person who is still working on her own true needs and desires and may go for someone she deems a ‘bad boy,’ which mostly means someone who is not truly available to her.”\r\n\r\n“I think I’ve been attracted to the ‘bad boy’ because a) going for unavailable people who have a higher chance of treating me like shit helps to reinforce negative thoughts I have of myself and b) it’s a sort of enabling that I know I can be my worst self because they’re not great either. All in all, not good for the mental. I would be so down for boring at this point in my life.” - Billie, 31\r\n\r\n“Most women who've reached a place where they know who they are and own their value want a partner, which is a good guy who’s responsible and supportive,” says Jeanne Sullivan Billeci, dating expert at The Soul Mate Coach. \r\n“However, the caveat is the good guy must be confident, comfortable in his skin and not a pushover, for a woman to feel like he is interesting, sexy and safe,” she notes. “She doesn't want a low-self-esteem guy where she has to take on the role of a mother or boss to shape him into a partner. She wants someone who’s supportive, but who can grow with her.”\r\n\r\nThe Pros & Cons of Bad Boys vs. Nice Guys\r\n\r\nIf you’re someone who sees themself as more of a nice guy, you might see the bad guys as having it all. But the truth of the matter is that there are a lot of pitfalls to being someone who embodies those traits. \r\n“If you truly are a person who vacillates with knowing what you want and need emotionally in a relationship, and aren’t able to communicate or commit, you’re unlikely to maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship,” says Godlberg. “Consequently, conflict will likely persist in any relationships you pursue.”\r\n“Fundamentally, the ‘bad boy’ doesn’t attract healthy, close relationships,” says Krystal Mazzola Wood, LMFT and author. “They attract relationships that ultimately end up being toxic for one or both people. If you want a long-lasting relationship, being a kind, respectful, authentic man is essential.”\r\n\r\n“Whether I consciously followed this or not, it wasn't until I got myself through therapy and a lot of pain that I stopped dating the 'bad boy'. Men who are 'bad' in all their iterations (not caring/trying, struggle with all the usual tropes bad boys supposedly do) now turn me off, thank god.” - Syd, 30\r\n\r\nBad-boy behavior also makes dating harder for everyone, including both men and women — because women who’ve had a history of getting their hearts broken by these so-called bad boys become more jaded and defensive over time, says Sullivan Billeci. \r\n“They often opt out of dating or have become so defensive they can't even see that nice guys who want to be a partner exist,” she explains. “They don't feel comfortable letting their guard down with a nice guy because they're afraid it’s an act. It just creates a toxic dating culture that takes me a while as a coach to unravel for my clients so they can build genuine connections and romantic partnerships.”\r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Being in a Serious Relationship \r\n“Above anything else, women want to be treated with respect,” says Weiss. “If you act like you don't care about a woman, that is going to backfire.”\r\n\r\nIs the Bad Boy Going Extinct?\r\n\r\nAnother factor to consider is the way the perception of the ‘bad boy’ has evolved over time. \r\nWhatever percentage of women find them attractive on some level, today, it’s arguable that the idea of actually dating or trying to have a relationship with one may be falling out of favor. \r\n“I think there may have been a shift towards appreciating a man who is more able to reflect on his emotions and be forthcoming with what he wants,” says Goldberg. “I think part of this is due to the plethora of options that online dating has created, where people feel more comfortable stating what they are truly searching for (hook-up, open relationship, polyamory, commitment, etc).”\r\n“Additionally,” she says, “with mental health being much more openly discussed, the idea of a more emotionally cut-off, commitment-phobe ‘bad boy’ isn’t as alluring.”\r\nAnother aspect, Sullivan Billeci notes, is the way gender is framed today. \r\nRELATED: Toxic Things That Society Encourages in Men\r\n“I do think as the perception of gender roles has evolved and become less traditional in terms of masculine vs. feminine, it has helped men and women become more authentic, and value women with masculine traits and men who are in touch with their feminine or sensitive side,” she says. \r\n“In addition,” says Weiss, “so many women right now are fed up with men who don't treat them right — e.g. fuckboys — that they really do just want a nice guy.”\r\n\r\n“I used to be obsessed with bad boys; now I’m big on nice guys. But I love reading bad boy erotica.” - Jaime, 33\r\n\r\nIn short, in a culture where women have higher standards for partnership and more complex expectations of what men (and relationships with them) can and should be, the role of the stereotypical bad boy seems like it may be losing ground. \r\n\r\nBad Boy Traits That Can Truly Benefit Nice Guys\r\n\r\nEven though bad boys might be a bit less culturally attractive today than they used to be, and even if there are a number of reasons you might not want to be one, lots of nice-guy types probably dream of what life would be like if they were more of a bad boy. \r\nRELATED: Why Women Go for the Nice Guy in the End \r\nOn some level, that’s only natural — and it’s a curiosity that some people are looking to exploit, says Sullivan Billeci. \r\n“Unfortunately there are greedy or wounded coaches out there,” she says, who preach the use of “manipulative tactics that prey on women's insecurities.” \r\nBut besides those kinds of PUA shenanigans, is wondering what you’d be like if you were a little more ‘bad’ a productive thought experiment?\r\n“I do not think it is beneficial for a shy or meek guy to take on bad boy characteristics if those traits are not aligned with who he authentically is or if it means trying to ‘play a game’ (i.e. purposely make themselves unavailable),” says Goldberg. “It’s also not beneficial for someone to try to change who they are for someone else because they won’t be able to maintain the façade over time.”\r\nThat being said, that doesn’t mean that so-called nice guys can’t learn a thing or two from what’s genuinely attractive about so-called bad boys. \r\nRELATED: Dating Tips for Shy Guys \r\n“The one characteristic of the archetypal ‘bad boy’ that might benefit more shy or nerdy men is confidence. It is always sexy to feel comfortable in your body and sure of what you have to offer,” says Weiss. “A bad boy, in its best form, is just someone with a playful spirit who likes to go on adventures. You can take that with you and drop the rest.”\r\nPeople don't want someone who treats others with disdain or indifference or who lives on the edge to the point of stupidity. Even if someone is sexually attracted to ‘bad boys,’ kindness and caring go much further in forming the foundation for a healthy relationship.”\r\nAlthough one other thing can be said for the bad boy type — he often looks cooler than the nice guy. \r\n“If you want to step into a more bold, confident persona inspired by the ‘bad boy’ archetype, you could experiment with fashion choices such as wearing a black jacket or a T-shirt for a rock band you like,” says Weiss. \r\nRELATED: How to Dress for Power, Explained\r\n“Not to impress anyone or pretend to be someone you're not, but to playfully experiment with bringing out a certain side of yourself,” she says. “See if you show up in the world any differently when you're giving yourself this visual cue.”\r\n\r\n“Bad boy aesthetics separate from behavior (leather jacket, motorcycle, whiskey, etc.) are attractive. Rebellion from the status quo is attractive when it means fighting for progressive values, not when it means doing whatever you want without considering others (more ‘freedom fighter’ than ‘bad boy’ maybe). ‘Bad boy,’ meaning a man who doesn't really care about his girlfriend and has to be ‘tamed’ into loving her, is actively unattractive.” - Lauren, 36\r\n\r\n“If we are defining “bad boy” as someone who is confident, independent, assertive, emotionally stable, and can communicate what he wants in a relationship effectively, that can be very attractive compared to someone who stays in their shell and is perceived as the nice, shy guy,” says Goldberg. \r\n“However, if someone is trying to give off the vibe that they are an impulsive risk-taker who doesn’t care for commitment (the typical colloquial meaning of ‘bad boy’), then a nice guy at the core will find it challenging and incongruent to who they are trying to create that vibe,” she notes.\r\nIt’s also worth noting that it’s possible to express seemingly nice-guy traits in a bad-boy way. \r\n“Sometimes what we call ‘bad’ in a man is his willingness to go against the grain,” says Nash Wright, a dating/relationship coach. “An attractive man is one who is willing to take risks.”\r\nThus, he notes, “One excellent way to stand out as a man is to express how you feel.”\r\n\r\n“The perfect ratio is 90% nice guy with 10% edge. I ended up marrying this combo.” - Samantha, 36\r\n\r\n“Attractive men are often expressing what they want,” Wright explains. “Rather than trying to be bad (or nice, for that matter), men can be taught to express how they feel, their wants, their desires, in strong ways.”\r\nRELATED: How to Build Confidence When Dealing With Self-Image Issues \r\nUltimately, “if you identify as meek or shy, consider what qualities you think of as a ‘bad boy’ that you’d like to embody truly,” says Mazzola Wood. \r\n“For instance, maybe you think bad boys are confident,” she says. “Are there ways you can authentically cultivate more confidence i.e., applying for jobs you want, going back to school, or learning public speaking skills. Cultivating more attractive skills authentically is of course going to be appealing to some potential partners, but the intention here is different than just embodying the ‘bad-boy’ type. You can cultivate more attractive aspects of yourself without becoming ‘bad.’”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhy Women Like Tall Guys & What Short Guys Can Do About ItWhat Women Find Sexy, Revealed\r\nNon-Sexual Things That Women Find Wildly Erotic", "keywords": ", Women, Really, Like, Bad, Boys, More", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/dating/dating_advice_500/500_why-girls-like-bad-boys-more-1038386-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/500_why-girls-like-bad-boys-more.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52871", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Hyrox and Why Is It Exploding in Popularity?", "title_slug": "what-is-hyrox-and-why-is-it-exploding-in-popularity", "title_hash": "3a6a2699db5afb89e32e2843afdab762", "summary": "This Global, Multi-Movement Race Is the Latest Fitness Phenomenon", "content": "It’s not as focused on weightlifting as Crossfit — but it involves functional movements. It’s not as long and repetitive as a triathlon — but it does require endurance. It’s not an obstacle course like a Tough Mudder — but it is competitive and social. It’s called HYROX, and it’s a fitness event taking North America by storm after exploding in popularity in Europe.\r\nRELATED: What Is the 75 Hard Challenge?\r\n\r\nWhat Is HYROX?\r\n\r\n \r\nHYROX is a global fitness race. It combines running and functional training in a vast indoor space, such as a convention center. Whether you participate in a HYROX race in London, Dallas or Brisbane, the format is always the same: You run 1km, complete a workout station, and repeat the process eight times. \r\nThe moves are simple and target different aspects of fitness, such as strength, power and endurance. Here are the stations, in order:\r\n \r\n1000m on the Ski Erg, a type of rower that mimics the motion of cross-country skiing. 50m Sled Push, which involves pushing a weighted sled for a serious lower-body burn. 50m Sled Pull, which is the same movement in reverse and targets your glutes, back, biceps and core. 80m Burpee Broad Jump, which requires jumping as far as you can before doing a burpee, then doing it again. 1000m Row, which is completed on a classic rowing machine.200m Farmers Carry, a move you may be familiar with for its ability to challenge both your core muscles and grip strength. 100m Sandbag Lunges, which will have your legs screaming as you carry a sandbag on your back. 75 or 100 Wall Balls, which entail explosive squats that give you enough power to throw a weighted ball at a high target on a wall or rig, catch it and repeat without stopping. \r\n\r\nHow Does the Competition Aspect of HYROX Work?\r\n \r\nThanks to this standardized structure and the fact that the events are always indoors, HYROX races remain consistent across the world, which enables the use of global rankings. You can track your performance and see how it compares to other fitness enthusiasts across the world. There are also World Championships at the end of each racing season, \r\nSo, do you need to be a pro athlete to partake? No — you just need to enjoy fitness. HYROX is challenging but accessible enough to be adapted to your desired level of challenge. There are four divisions.\r\n \r\nIf you want to experience the event solo, you can register for the standard Open challenge, or a Pro version with heavier weights. You can also take on HYROX as a pair with Doubles, which has you running with a partner but splitting each workout station. Finally, you can form a relay team of four, with each person completing 2x 1 km of running followed by a single workout station.\r\nOn average, it takes about an hour and a half to complete a HYROX race. But there is no time limit. Some people take three hours to go through the experience, while world record holders do it in an hour or less.\r\n \r\n\r\nUnpacking the Mass Appeal of HYROX\r\n\r\n \r\nThousands of people participate in HYROX races, and spectators are welcome in droves too. Events have been known to sell out. \r\nThe concept originally launched in Germany and the U.S. right before the pandemic, with little success. Lockdowns and social distancing measures forced a pause. Then, it relaunched in the UK and took off fast. It’s now available in 20 countries and continues to grow.\r\n \r\nBut why is HYROX getting so popular? First, it gives the average gym-goer a chance to participate in a competition without being involved in a specific sport. \r\nIf you enjoy staying fit in a well-rounded way, you’re not necessarily going to be signing up for something as targeted as a bodybuilding competition or a marathon. HYROX gives you a chance to train with purpose and challenge yourself.\r\n \r\n“Working out at the gym is the only sport with no gamification. No one plays tennis just to burn calories – they play tennis because they want to play against another person, otherwise they might as well hit a ball against the wall,” Christian Tötzke, founder of HYROX, told Health Club Management. “Providing a competition gives gym-goers the drive and motivation to train for something,” \r\n“It tests well-rounded fitness in a way that hasn’t previously been done. The predictability of the workout, the straightforward nature of the exercises, and the inclusivity of the competition make it appealing to a wide range of fitness enthusiasts,” adds James Cunningham, senior fitness coach at Total Shape.\r\n \r\nPlus, there’s a community aspect to it. You’re surrounded by thousands of people who share a passion for movement. Your friends and family — and complete strangers — cheer you on. It feels like a special occasion, which is probably why some people travel to attend HYROX races with their friends. \r\nAs Chris Pruitt, certified personal trainer and CEO at WorkoutHealthy, puts it, it’s a competitive yet inclusive environment. You get to see how you measure up to other fitness enthusiasts, but you’re also competing against yourself. Since the race is always the same, you can set benchmarks and aim to beat them the next time you participate.\r\n \r\n\r\nHyrox vs Crossfit: What’s the Difference?\r\n\r\n \r\nIt’s easy to make parallels between the emergence of HYROX and the CrossFit craze of the 2010s. Both concepts are rooted in the idea of fitness as a sport. They both involve some elements of community and competition. And they’re all about functional training. However, there are key differences between the two. \r\nThe first one is the format. HYROX is meant to keep the same structure. “Unlike CrossFit, which focuses on varied functional movements at high intensity with constantly changing workouts, HYROX has a standardized format with set exercises and distances, making it more predictable and measurable,” says Pruitt.\r\n \r\nAccording to Cunningham, HRYOX also puts less emphasis on Olympic lifting and powerlifting than CrossFit. This is intentional. Tötzke said that HYROX workout moves were selected because they train every part of the body, are inclusive and don’t require a lot of technical skill. \r\nFinally, CrossFit workouts tend to be shorter and more intense.\r\n\r\nShould You Try HYROX?\r\n\r\n \r\nIf you’re looking for a new challenge that targets multiple components of fitness, you should give a HRYOX race a try. It’s a great way to shake up your fitness routine and give yourself a goal. It’s also something you can do with a friend, a romantic partner or even a group of coworkers. \r\nKeep in mind that even though it’s meant to be accessible, a HRYOX race isn’t something that you can just show up for unprepared. If you’re an advanced exerciser and regularly lift weights, run, and train for power and mobility, you could probably just wing it.\r\n \r\nOtherwise, it’s best to train intentionally to get your body ready for the challenge and avoid injuries (plus, that’s sort of the whole point). You may just want to do it again after your first experience. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n How to Set Realistic Weight Loss GoalsHow to Do a Deck of Cards WorkoutYour Game Plan for Getting Ripped in 2024", "keywords": "What, Hyrox, and, Why, Exploding, Popularity", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "132", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/what-is-hyrox-and-why-is-it-exploding-in-popularity/askmen-lead-image-template-1721412426.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/what-is-hyrox-and-why-is-it-exploding-in-popularity.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52867", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Men Need to Know About Sex by 30", "title_slug": "what-men-need-to-know-about-sex-by-30", "title_hash": "ec08a2a6399882878a03a5ef15fe010f", "summary": "Because contemporary sex education is still pretty scattershot, most guys grow up believing all kinds of myths about sex. \r\nThings like “you need to have a big penis in order to be good in bed,” or “you make women orgasm via penetration,” which just aren’t true at all. \r\n And when you live in a culture with so much sex misinformation floating around, it’s understandable that when you’re younger, you get lots of stuff wrong and you haven’t figured everything out yet. \r\nRELATED: Breaking Down the Basics of Sex Education\r\nBut by the time you turn 30, you’re not a kid anymore — you’re a grown man by pretty much any metric. And from that perspective, if you’re having sex with other people, it’s important that you be able to separate fact from fiction in the bedroom. \r\nSo, to help you shape up, here’s a list of 10 things every guy should know about sex by the time he enters his 30s. \r\n1. How to Be an Unselfish Lover\r\nWhen people first start having sex, it makes sense that they’ll be a little", "content": "Because contemporary sex education is still pretty scattershot, most guys grow up believing all kinds of myths about sex. \r\nThings like “you need to have a big penis in order to be good in bed,” or “you make women orgasm via penetration,” which just aren’t true at all. \r\n And when you live in a culture with so much sex misinformation floating around, it’s understandable that when you’re younger, you get lots of stuff wrong and you haven’t figured everything out yet. \r\nRELATED: Breaking Down the Basics of Sex Education\r\nBut by the time you turn 30, you’re not a kid anymore — you’re a grown man by pretty much any metric. And from that perspective, if you’re having sex with other people, it’s important that you be able to separate fact from fiction in the bedroom. \r\nSo, to help you shape up, here’s a list of 10 things every guy should know about sex by the time he enters his 30s. \r\n1. How to Be an Unselfish Lover\r\nWhen people first start having sex, it makes sense that they’ll be a little more selfish — after all, experiencing a new form of pleasure like that can rock your world so much, you barely feel like you have time to think about anything else. \r\nRELATED: The Benefits of Being an Unselfish Lover \r\nBut once you’ve started getting your sexual bearings, it’s important to start becoming a generous lover. Taking time to focus on your partners’ pleasure isn’t just common courtesy — it’s also much more likely to lead to people wanting to sleep with you a second, or third, or fourth time, and so on. \r\nIn short, brushing up on how to go down on someone, or being open to asking what they like and doing it for them, can go an incredibly long way. \r\n2. Sexual Anatomy Basics\r\nYou’re not expected to be an expert on every single facet of the human body. But having sex in your 30s without a knowledge of the basics when it comes to the sexual anatomy of your partners, whether that’s people with penises, people with vaginas, or both, is not a good thing. \r\nKnowing things like where the clitoris and G-spot are, how to hit a guy’s P-spot, the difference between how to touch circumcised penises and uncircumcised ones — these things are useful assets when it comes to being good in bed. \r\nRELATED: The Best Sex Techniques for Uncircumcised Men \r\nIf you just don’t by the time you’re 30, anyone going to bed with you is likely to be both disappointed and confused — and it’ll make any conversations about how to pleasure them a fair amount more difficult. \r\n3. The Basics of Sexual Consent\r\nUnfortunately, while some aspects of sexual consent are incredibly easy to grasp; others seem to be much more nuanced and tricky, as evidenced by the fact that significant number of negative sexual interactions stem not from intentional cruelty or violence, but from one person (most often a guy, unfortunately) not paying close attention to the other person’s discomfort. \r\nPrioritizing checking in, asking if what you’re doing is enjoyable for the other person, and generally being aware of the possibility that you could be causing them distress, even if that’s not your intent, and they’re not being vocal about it — these are crucial things to understand for any guy having sex with people, especially someone you haven’t hooked up with before. \r\nRELATED: 6 Things That Don’t Constitute Consent \r\nBut by the time you reach your 30s, this kind of stuff is an absolute must, particularly if you’re sleeping with someone who’s significantly younger than you and might feel daunted by the prospect of stopping or correcting you. \r\n4. How Frequently They Should Be Getting Tested\r\nThe right STI testing frequency for you largely depends on how many different people you’re sleeping with, as well as things like the kind of sex you’re having, and how often you’re having it. \r\nIt’s not a huge focus if you and a partner have been monogamous together for a long time — though cheating partners can contract STIs too. \r\nRELATED: What You Need to Know About Preventing STIs \r\nBut if you’re hooking up with multiple partners, it’s frankly irresponsible not to be getting tested multiple times a year, possibly even every other month, and generally, at least once a year is good practice. \r\n5. What Turns Them On (and Off)\r\nWhile many guys do find things like the most common male sexual fantasies hot, no one is into the exact same set of kinks as any other person, so no partner can confidently get you off without you talking to them a bit about what you like. However, you can’t really have that conversation if you don’t know. \r\nRELATED: The Most Common Kinks & Fetishes That Turn People On \r\nHaving sex that’s a fun and rewarding experience for all parties involved is so much easier when you have a pretty good sense of what turns you on and turns you off, so it’s a good idea to spend some time in your 20s (if you haven’t already) exploring what you do and don’t like. \r\nWatching different kinds of porn or reading different kinds of erotica, filling out a Yes/No/Maybe list or a kink quiz — these kinds of things can help give you a much clearer picture of your sexual self. \r\n6. How to Talk About Sex With a Partner\r\nIt’s no surprise that most people feel a little bit awkward when it comes to talking about sex with a partner. For one, it’s a very personal, and unfortunately, much stigmatized topic. For two, it’s not something that we have useful models for. \r\nMost sex ed does not teach people how to talk about sex with partners, and movies, TV shows, and porn rarely model how to have normal and productive discussions on the subject. \r\nRELATED: Why Porn Is a Terrible Form of Sex Education \r\nRather, the action just seems to unfold as if the characters can read each other‘s minds — when in real life, the truth is anything but. \r\nGetting comfortable talking to a partner about sex — whether it’s the love of your life or someone you’re having a one-night stand with — is one of the biggest keys when it comes to having better sex. \r\n7. How to Deal With a Pregnancy or STI Scare\r\nOne thing that contemporary sex ed is pretty darn good at teaching young people is that sex can have negative consequences. However, rarely is this reality followed up with robust instructions on what to do should these negative outcomes come to pass. \r\nBut being able to respond in a calm, non-judgmental and solution-oriented way to an STI or pregnancy scare is an important skill when it comes to your sex life. \r\nThe person (or people) you slept with will be incredibly grateful for your ability to navigate these potentially stressful situations with grace and skill if you can accompany them to get the morning-after pill, or communicate that you’ve tested positive for something in a polite and timely manner. \r\nRELATED: How to Tell a Partner You Have a Sexually Transmitted Infection \r\nSimply being able to keep a level head and be present — rather than shutting down from fear, guilt or shame — is a skill that every sexually active man in his 30s should have. \r\n8. What Their Sexual Needs Are\r\nIt’s not a fun reality, but many otherwise promising relationships ultimately fall apart when the people involved have irreconcilable sexual differences. \r\nIf one person has an incredibly intense sex drive, and the other is on the asexual spectrum; or if one person is very vanilla, and the other is a committed kinkster; a monogamous romantic partnership may simply not be a viable option for the long-term. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Your Unsatisfying Sex Life\r\nIf, by the time you’re 30, you understand enough about what you need in bed to be clear on what you can make do with, you can save yourself a lot of trouble, and possibly wasted years of your life, by pursuing relationships only with people who are willing and able to live up to your sexual needs. \r\n9. When to Say No\r\nThe idea that men are supposed to be sexual creatures — almost to the point of being hypersexual — is a prevalent one. After all, our culture makes fun of male virgins and is confused by asexual people, yet lauds guys who “score.”\r\nSo, in the midst of all these cultural associations between masculinity and sexual prowess, it can be hard to recognize when sex is something you should say no to. \r\nWhether it’s because it’s a bad idea — like cheating, hooking up with an ex, or fooling around with the partner of a friend — or because it’s something you yourself don’t actually really want, learning how, when, and why to say no is an incredible skill that can save you a lot of trouble in the long run.\r\n10. How to Use a Few Different Sex Toys\r\nThere’s a long-standing tradition of valid pushback against technological innovations that will only put people out of jobs. \r\nHowever, hating on sex toys is not that — and the sooner you get comfortable using them on a partner, the better your sex life together will be. \r\nIt makes sense to find sex toys, a little confusing at first, but like any other high-tech gadget, a little bit of practice using one can go a long way, and knowing how to add a toy to the mix in bed can separate you from the pack as a gifted and resourceful lover worth texting for a follow-up hookup.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nLies Pop Culture Taught Us About Love & Sex69 Sex Things Every Guy Should Try at Least OnceThings Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex", "keywords": "What, Men, Need, Know, About, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "125", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/sex/sex_education/what-men-need-to-know-about-sex-by-30-1107810-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/what-men-need-to-know-about-sex-by-30.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52868", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Meaning of Consent and The Different Types That Exist", "title_slug": "the-meaning-of-consent-and-the-different-types-that-exist", "title_hash": "64b9f0dd7c5bbfbfb137b63fab866921", "summary": "6 Things That Don’t Constitute Consent (And 3 Things That Do)", "content": "Imagine you and your crush sitting on a bed. You’re making out, feeling a lot of sexual arousal. You stop kissing, gaze deep into their eyes, take a breath, and speak:\r\n\r\n“I want to have sex with you so bad right now.”\r\n\r\nYour crush blushes, puts their hand behind your neck and pulls you into a deep kiss.\r\n“Great,” you think. “We’re going to have sex.”\r\nOnly, you’re not. Because here’s what just happened: Your crush isn’t ready to have sex, but they don’t know how to tell you that — they’re embarrassed, they’re scared of hurting your feelings and they don’t have a lot of experience talking about sex — so they tried to return the moment to just kissing.\r\nBut you misread the gesture, leaving you in a complicated situation of two people who want different things out of a moment of intimacy, but who don’t know how to talk through those different desires.\r\nRELATED: Here’s What You Need to Know About Consent\r\nUnfortunately, this kind of scenario is all too common, and unfortunately, it often ends when people struggle to understand what constitutes consent, and which kinds of responses can look like it even when they aren’t.\r\nAskMen spoke with three experts to better understand what consent is and isn’t, as well as how to navigate situations like the above one.\r\n\r\nWhy Talking About Consent Can Be Complicated\r\n\r\nDepending on your experience, you might be wondering why something as simple as saying “yes” or “no” might be complicated.\r\nBut for many different reasons, consent is actually an incredibly difficult topic to discuss, even for people who’ve been having pleasurable sex for years or decades. One of the most important ones is the tension between wanting your partner to be happy, and wanting yourself to be happy.\r\nRELATED: Conversation Examples of How to Ask for Consent\r\nIf you’ve ever gotten into a disagreement with a partner while trying to pick a lunch place or a movie to watch, you might have a clue that getting two people to agree on an outcome that’ll make them both equally happy can be tricky — and it’s no different when it comes to sex.\r\n“We're afraid of hurting people's feelings,” explains SKYN Condoms’ sex and intimacy expert, Gigi Engle. “When it comes to sex, we aren't given a very fruitful vocabulary to work with. You may not want to do something, but the other person really wants you to, and so you just go along with it. This leads to really bad situations for everyone — including feelings of regret and violation.\r\nIf things are going to proceed, she says, “the only correct answer to ‘Do you want to do X sexual thing?\" is \"Hell yes!\" or some variation of the sort.”\r\nOtherwise, it’s time to try something else, or even stop what you’d been doing altogether and find out how the other person’s feeling.\r\nFor Kayla Lords, a sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com, wanting to make the other person happy is only half the story.\r\n“Turning someone down for sex can feel very uncomfortable for some people, especially women who may be worried about the reaction they’ll get from the person who wants to have sex with them,” she says. “On one end of the spectrum are concerns about disappointing someone or being labeled a ‘tease,’ and on the other end of that spectrum is the very real fear of violence.”\r\nRELATED: Understanding Women's Fear of Male Violence\r\nAs a result of these worst-case scenario fears, Lords explains, “people may say things like, ‘I don’t know’ or they suggest something else instead of saying ‘No.’”\r\nOf course, women aren’t the only ones who can feel pressure to have sex.\r\nDue to boys being told at a young age that they need to be dominant in order to be considered manly when growing up, many men can be hesitant about turning down sex in situations they feel they ‘should’ say yes.\r\nAccording to licensed therapist and mental wellness advocate Jor-El Caraballo, this reality “ties into long-held stereotypes about virility, which are closely tied to masculinity and how men see themselves and their value as humans.”\r\n“Not choosing to perform, for many men, has led to shaming and humiliation by partners, which most men feel compelled to avoid at all costs,” he adds. “We also don't often think of sexual coercion happening to men but we do know that manipulation from both female and male partners is possible.”\r\n\r\nThings That Don’t Constitute Consent\r\n\r\nBy now, you might be aware that just because someone seems like they’re giving consent doesn’t mean they actually want to go along with what’s happening. That subtle, polite deflection might actually be covering up a giant, glaring “no.”\r\nBut what does that idea look like in practice? In order to give you a clear grounding in signs that you both need to stop and take a moment to figure out what you both want before proceeding, here are six things that don’t constitute consent (even if you think they might).\r\n1. An Outright Negative Response\r\nCould sound like: “No,” “Stop” or “Don’t do that.”\r\nIf your partner says anything that clearly indicates that they don’t like what you’re doing, don’t want to continue, or don’t want to do what you’re proposing, you should absolutely not push forward anyway.\r\nDoing so constitutes sexual assault at best and rape at worst, which are both criminal acts, in addition to being almost certainly traumatic for your partner to experience.\r\nIt’s also important to note that consent isn’t transferable. Your partner may have been enthusiastically into taking their clothes off and making out, but uncomfortable with penetration, or comfortable with penis-in-vagina sex, but not comfortable with anal sex.\r\nIf they tell you to stop at any point, you need to stop immediately.\r\n2. An Uncertain Response\r\nCould sound like: \"I don't know,\" \"I'm not sure\" or “I guess.”\r\nEven if your partner doesn’t voice a clear “no,” they might just lack the confidence to admit that they’re against what you’re suggesting.\r\nIf you propose trying a certain move and get a response that sounds like one you’d expect to hear from a kid who’s being told to do a chore they hate, don’t take that as a sign that you should move forward or convince the person. Instead, take it as a sign to ask them what they’d like instead. \r\n“If your partner hesitates, looks uncomfortable, pulls back or tries to steer the moment or conversation in another direction, those are very clear signs you don’t have enthusiastic consent,” says Lords. \r\n3. A Mixed Response\r\nCould sound like: \"I want to, but we shouldn't\" or “I feel bad for saying no”\r\nRather than a neutral-sounding response, a partner can respond in a mixed way by indicating some desire to consent while still feeling guilty, conflicted or otherwise simultaneously expressing a negative feeling. In short, instead of a “maybe,” you’ll get both a “yes” and a “no.”\r\nHowever, Lords points out “resistance that isn’t a clear ‘no’ doesn’t mean you should press until you get the answer you want. Instead of waiting for ‘no,’ only move forward when you’ve got a clear ‘yes’ — it should be enthusiastic in some way.”\r\nSo even though a half-hearted “I want to, but” can sound like the permission you’ve been craving, that doesn’t mean it is. \r\nIt’s also important to remember that the negative portion of their response is just as important as the positive one, if not more. Again, consent isn’t consent unless it’s fully and enthusiastically given without hesitation, hemming or hawing. If they’re not completely into the idea, don’t push for it. \r\nRELATED: How to Handle Rejection Like a Man\r\n4. A Non-Verbal Negative Response\r\nCould look like: Slapping your hand away, covering themselves up, moving away from you\r\nIf you try something sexual and the other person uses their body to turn you down, well, that’s also not consent. \r\nThey may not feel capable of using their words, but if they’re stopping you from doing the thing you want to do, they’re showing you clearly that they’re not interested. That’s when you back off ASAP, even if they had been consenting up until then. \r\n5. No Response at All\r\nCould look like: Someone in a trance or catatonic state\r\nLots of sexual action takes place without actual conversation taking place, but as people might mistake the lack of negative response for the presence of a positive one, that opens up a space for lots of potential misunderstanding.\r\nEven if the other person is letting you do exactly what you want without stopping you in any way, that’s not a sign that they’re into it. More so, it’s just that they’re not feeling capable of asking you to stop. \r\nWhen you’re having sex, you should always try to remain conscious of your partner’s response. If you’re too focused on your own pleasure and experience, it’s easy not to notice if the other person goes quiet. That could be a sign that they’re seriously not enjoying themselves and might be having a legitimately traumatic experience. \r\nPeople who are enjoying sex will let you know by being engaged and involved. If you notice your partner being unusually silent, stop what you’re doing immediately, check in and don’t try to continue unless they confirm enthusiastically that they want you to. \r\n6. Any Response From Someone Who Can’t Consent\r\nCould sound like: “Age is just a number,” \"OK, fine, I'll do what you want,\" drunken slurring\r\nUnder the definitions of consent, it’s not just something that has to be enthusiastically given. It also has to be given by someone who’s legally old enough to have sex with you, who’s not being coerced or pressured into it and who’s of sound mind and not inebriated. \r\nEssentially, sex with a minor, sex with someone you’ve pressured or threatened into consenting and sex with someone who’s drunk or high to the point of not being fully conscious are violations of consent. \r\n\r\nThings That Constitute Consent\r\n\r\nConversely, enthusiastic, freely given consent is usually easier to recognize. It’s the same energy that you get from someone who’s being offered a taste of their favorite food, a free ticket to a concert by their favorite band or a cold drink of water on a brutally hot day. There typically won’t be a ton of ways to misunderstand it. \r\nBut just so you’re clear, here are three things that do constitute consent: \r\n1. An Enthusiastic Verbal “Yes”\r\nCould sound like: “Yes,” “Hell yeah” or “F*ck yes, I want to!”\r\nThis one is the easiest to recognize and understand. \r\nAsk someone if they want to have sex with you (or if they want you to do a certain sex act with them), and if they say “yes” in a way that communicates enthusiasm, you’re in the clear. \r\n2. A Demand for Sex\r\nCould sound like: “F*ck me right now” or “I want you so bad” \r\nOf course, the word “yes” doesn’t technically need to be present in order for someone to enthusiastically consent. They could simply be letting you know how bad they want you, even before you express any desire of your own. \r\n3. An Enthusiastic Non-Verbal Yes\r\nCould look like: Initiating genital touching, taking your clothes off, taking their own clothes off\r\nTechnically, nothing needs to be said at all if it’s clear that both partners are into it. If the other person is actively initiating sex with you physically, that’s a clear sign that they’re consenting. However, if you’re not sure, there’s no harm in making sure — for instance, you could use one of the examples from the below link: \r\nRELATED: Clever Dirty Talk Phrases That Are Also Sexual Consent Questions\r\n\r\nHow to Talk About Consent in Bed\r\n\r\nStill not 100 percent clear on how to approach talking about consent with a sexual partner? That’s OK. As you read earlier, consent can be a complex and tricky thing to talk about. \r\n“Misinterpretation is not an excuse for crossing someone's boundaries,” says Engle. “If you have any doubt that this person is anything less than super into it and is telling you to touch them and how much they want you, it's not consent. If at any point you think, ‘Hmm, I wonder if they like that?’ — ask them! If there is any hesitation or you're worried, stop immediately and communicate with your partner.”\r\nIn order to avoid mistaking consent for one act for consent for a different sex act, Engle adds to “check in before each sexual act.” \r\nShe suggests asking questions like: \r\n\r\n\r\n\t“‘Do you like that?’\r\n\t‘Can I touch you here?’\r\n\t‘What do you like?’\r\n\t‘What do you want me to do to you?’”\r\n\r\n\r\n“These are all questions that help guide you to fully satisfying, mutually safe sexual experiences.”\r\nCaraballo adds that “we really should be aiming for enthusiastic consent on the whole.” \r\nChecking for body language cues can be a huge tell in recognizing that your partner isn’t 100 percent into what you’re doing or suggesting. \r\nRELATED: 3 Reasons It's a Good Idea to Wait Before Having Sex\r\n“Does your partner hesitate to say yes?” he asks. “What might their eyes be saying to you as you ask for consent? Are they looking at you or away? Are they moving away from you or leaning in? Seeking congruence in both physical and verbal consent is helpful. This can help provide space to further check in and not only ask for consent, but also things like asking your partner, \r\n\r\n‘How are you feeling right now?’ \r\n\r\ncan help create a more open dialogue, not just the minimal ‘yes’ that we've been told to believe is sufficient.”\r\nOn the flip side, talking about consent can be fun and sexy as well, notes Angie Rowntree, founder and director of Sssh.com. \r\nFor instance, if you’re still in the early stages of navigating sex with a new partner, Rowntree suggests you try playing the game called “Hot and Cold.” \r\n“This naughty spin on an old favorite involves one partner thinking of something they want their partner to do, sexually, and using only ‘hot, hotter, cold, colder’ to help their partner navigate to the right area or action,” she says. \r\nRELATED: Sexy Games to Heat Things Up \r\n“Have your partner start with two fingers anywhere on your body,” Rowntree explains. “As they move their fingers around, use ‘hot’ or ‘hotter’ to let them know they’re getting closer, and ‘cold’ or ‘colder’ to indicate they’re going in the wrong direction. When they reach the perfect spot, a simple ‘yes’ will tell them they can play there until you say stop, and start a new round of naughty play.”\r\nTo up the ante, she adds, you can try blindfolding the partner who’s searching for the right spot.\r\nWhile they may seem frivolous, activities like this can go a long way towards laying the groundwork for negotiating the difference between touch that’s welcomed and touch that isn’t later on. If you and your partner already have experience saying something like “you’re getting colder” during this game, expressing a ‘No’ in a subsequent context may feel a little easier.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Talk About Consent After #MeToo\r\n\tHow We Teach Consent to Young Boys\r\n\tHow to Know If Your Consent Has Been Violated", "keywords": "The, Meaning, Consent, and, The, Different, Types, That, Exist", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "133", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2020/03/13-030009-the_meaning_of_consent_and_the_different_types_that_exist.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/the-meaning-of-consent-and-the-different-types-that-exist.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-22 09:58:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52207", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Helicopter Parenting: From Good Intentions to Poor Outcomes", "title_slug": "helicopter-parenting-from-good-intentions-to-poor-outcomes", "title_hash": "5274c66f62e4aaae6a5b957b3bf4874c", "summary": "We live in a competitive world and want to give our kids every advantage. But with helicopter parenting, it can backfire big time. \nThe post Helicopter Parenting: From Good Intentions to Poor Outcomes appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

We live in a competitive world and want to give our kids every advantage. But with helicopter parenting, it can backfire big time.

The post Helicopter Parenting: From Good Intentions to Poor Outcomes appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Helicopter, Parenting:, From, Good, Intentions, Poor, Outcomes", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "104", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Helicopter-Parenting-From-Good-Intentions-to-Poor-Outcomes-HI2.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/helicopter-parenting-good-intentions-poor-outcomes/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-19 03:40:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52090", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Secrets to Getting Girls: Attraction > Connection", "title_slug": "secrets-to-getting-girls-attraction-connection", "title_hash": "39f1101bb494ffada5a945b2ad79201e", "summary": "Many guys try to connect with girls as fast as possible. But if the aim is romance, attraction must precede connection – or you (likely) won’t get the girl.\nA month back, in response to multiple members of our forum saying they’d been deep diving girls (i.e., seeking to build deep connections with them) early on into their courtships, I talked about the proper times to use a deep dive.\nThe tl;dr of that article was that you want to save your deep dives until you are in isolation on a date or deeper into a pickup, generally. Today I want to go deeper into the elemental aspect of courtship that makes this so: the secret that attraction must precede connection.\nSure, it happens sometimes that a man and woman form a connection first, then attraction later blossoms, and romance stems from that. That does happen. Especially in Hollywood romantic comedies! But this is not the norm; nor is it a dependable or a very repeatable process.\nIf you want consistency in your seductions, attraction > co", "content": "

$\"attraction$ connection\" src=\"https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/attraction-connection-1.jpg\">Many guys try to connect with girls as fast as possible. But if the aim is romance, attraction must precede connection – or you (likely) won’t get the girl.

A month back, in response to multiple members of our forum saying they’d been deep diving girls (i.e., seeking to build deep connections with them) early on into their courtships, I talked about the proper times to use a deep dive.

The tl;dr of that article was that you want to save your deep dives until you are in isolation on a date or deeper into a pickup, generally. Today I want to go deeper into the elemental aspect of courtship that makes this so: the secret that attraction must precede connection.

Sure, it happens sometimes that a man and woman form a connection first, then attraction later blossoms, and romance stems from that. That does happen. Especially in Hollywood romantic comedies! But this is not the norm; nor is it a dependable or a very repeatable process.

If you want consistency in your seductions, attraction > connection.

Attraction must come first.

\n Connection\" data-item_date=\"2024-07-16T22:30:58-07:00\">\n\n

Connection\" class=\"rdf-meta element-hidden\">", "keywords": "Secrets, Getting, Girls:, Attraction, Connection", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "111", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/attraction-connection-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/secrets-getting-girls-attraction-connection", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:59:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52085", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Turn Friends With Benefits Into a Relationship", "title_slug": "how-to-turn-friends-with-benefits-into-a-relationship", "title_hash": "f32c504ea828d930fc3fa37eb8c44aa9", "summary": "It seemed like a good idea at the get-go: You and a longtime friend started hooking up, because why not get your sexual needs met by someone you trust — someone you’re comfortable with? \r\nBut if you’ve ever seen any movies based on this premise, you know how this story ends: one of two people inevitably catches feelings. \r\nSo, now what? You’ve realized you want something more, but how can you turn your friends-with-benefits situation into a relationship?\r\nFirst off, rest assured that this conundrum is super common. Research has shown that about 25% of people in a friends-with-benefits relationship secretly hope it will become something more serious.\r\n“Human emotions are complex and sometimes unpredictable,” explains Martha Tara Lee, a relationship counselor, certified sexuality educator, and clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching. “When you engage in physical intimacy, your body releases hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which can enhance feelings of attachment, closeness, and bonding", "content": "It seemed like a good idea at the get-go: You and a longtime friend started hooking up, because why not get your sexual needs met by someone you trust — someone you’re comfortable with? \r\nBut if you’ve ever seen any movies based on this premise, you know how this story ends: one of two people inevitably catches feelings. \r\nSo, now what? You’ve realized you want something more, but how can you turn your friends-with-benefits situation into a relationship?\r\nFirst off, rest assured that this conundrum is super common. Research has shown that about 25% of people in a friends-with-benefits relationship secretly hope it will become something more serious.\r\n“Human emotions are complex and sometimes unpredictable,” explains Martha Tara Lee, a relationship counselor, certified sexuality educator, and clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching. “When you engage in physical intimacy, your body releases hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which can enhance feelings of attachment, closeness, and bonding.”\r\nRELATED: Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life \r\nThe good news? According to Lee, a FWB scenario can evolve into a real relationship. \r\n“The key is mutual feelings and a shared desire to transition,” Lee tells AskMen. \r\nIn fact, Michael Sartain, a dating and performance coach and founder of Men of Action, says a legitimate friendship with benefits can be one of the healthiest ways to start a relationship because you likely already have some things in common — not to mention you already genuinely care for each other.\r\nRELATED: Benefits of Being Friends With Someone Before Dating\r\nAs for how to get there — here are some expert-approved tips for making a smooth transition from FWB into a serious relationship.\r\n1. Start Hanging Out in Date-Like Settings\r\nEventually, you’ll probably want to have a conversation with your friend about your desire for a serious relationship. But there’s no need to rush into this chat — instead, subtly lay the groundwork by spending quality time together.\r\n“Create opportunities to get to know each other outside of the bedroom,” says Sandra Myers, co-founder and president at Select Date Society.\r\nMore specifically, Lee recommends making plans that are ambiguous enough to feel like a date — such as going on a sunset hike, enjoying a picnic lunch in the park, having dinner at a new restaurant, or seeing a local band play. \r\nThis accomplishes two things: One, it gives you an opportunity to connect on an emotional level and find even more shared interests and values. Two, planning thoughtful activities for you to try together offers your date a glimpse into what it might be like to date you. That way, when the day comes to discuss the possibility, it’s not all that hard for them to imagine making it work.\r\n2. Encourage Them to Lean on You\r\nThe main difference between a hookup buddy and a romantic partner is emotional support. \r\nSo, if you’re truly interested in transitioning into a serious relationship, one of the best ways to show that to your friend without telling them is simply to be there for them when they need you, says Sofie Roos, a relationship therapist and licensed sexologist at Passionerad.\r\nThis might mean:\r\nLetting them vent to you after a tough work dayDoing them a small favor to make their life easier during a particularly busy weekHelping to distract them by planning a fun day when they’re going through a difficult timeChecking in with them to see how a job interview or exam wentOffering to go with them to a loved one’s memorial services or a family event they’re dreading\r\n3. Get Physical in Non-Sexual Ways\r\nAnother key differentiator between a FWB relationship and a serious romantic relationship is the type of intimacy you engage in. In a FWB situation, most of the physical contact is purely sexual. That’s why Roos suggests finding opportunities to engage in non-sexual physical contact.\r\nStart small — like quickly resting your hand on their knee or shoulder while laughing at something they’re saying. Then you can progress to other kinds of physical touch, like a lingering hug.\r\n“Try to reach for their hand while driving and notice their reaction,” says Roos. \r\nIf they pull away or seem confused, this could mean one of two things. Either they were simply taken aback by the unexpectedly intimate display, or they just aren’t ready to receive that kind of affection from you. Either way, it could be useful information to have as you navigate forward.\r\n4. Have “The Talk”\r\nAt some point, it may be time to take a more direct approach with your FWB. \r\nRELATED: How to Define a Relationship Without Ruining It \r\nThe more time you spend with them the more attached you’re likely to get and having an open and honest convo about those feelings can minimize hurt feelings while also preventing you both from wasting additional time if you aren’t looking for the same thing.\r\nLee and Sartain advise saying something like, \r\n\r\n“I've been really enjoying our time together lately, and I'd love to explore the possibility of a more serious relationship if you’re open to it. How do you feel?”\r\n\r\nYou could also simply ask a question to test the waters: \r\n\r\n“Have you ever wondered if we could be more than friends with benefits?” \r\n\r\nor \r\n\r\n“Sometimes I find myself picturing what it would be like to have a serious relationship with you. I feel like we’re pretty compatible. Do you ever think about that?”\r\n\r\n5. Be Patient\r\n“Understand that transitioning from FWB to a serious relationship takes time,” says Lee. “Allow your friend to process their feelings and give the relationship space to grow naturally.”\r\nLet your hookup friend know that there’s no rush in making a decision about how to proceed. Giving them space and taking the pressure off will only further demonstrate what a patient and caring partner you can be — thereby increasing the odds that they’re open to pursuing a romantic relationship.\r\n“And continue to show up as the best version of you,” adds Myers. “Be confident and positive! When you show up as someone who is fun to be around, your FWB partner will naturally want to spend more time with you.”\r\n6. Respect Their Feelings (or Lack Thereof)\r\nIn an ideal world, your friend will share the same burning desire to transition to a meaningful long-term relationship. But it’s important to be prepared for the possibility that they don’t. \r\nLee suggests responding with grace and empathy — for example, by saying, \r\n\r\n“I understand and appreciate your honesty. While I have developed deeper feelings, I respect your perspective.”\r\n\r\n“Maintaining self-respect and ensuring that your needs are acknowledged and valued should always be a priority,” adds Lee.\r\nWith that in mind, you’ll need to get honest with yourself about whether you’re emotionally capable of maintaining the friendship — or whether you need to take a step back to protect your feelings. \r\nMyers recommends asking yourself if your needs are being met, or if you’re still merely holding out hope for something more — in which case you’re only prolonging the torture.\r\n“Establishing and respecting boundaries is crucial here,” says Lee. “This includes setting limits on how often you see each other and the types of activities you engage in.”\r\nAs Roos points out, telling your FWB that you want more is always a risk. But that doesn’t mean it’s a risk that isn’t worth taking — quite to the contrary. \r\nSure, it might get a bit awkward or uncomfortable if they aren’t on the same page. But on the off chance that your friend does feel the same way, why would you miss out on that incredible opportunity to pursue a more serious relationship? \r\nLife is too short to try and bury your feelings in the interest of avoiding pain — and in the end, experts agree there’s nothing more painful than wondering what could have been.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nRules for Casual Sex and How to Make It Work Can Casual Sex Turn Into a Serious Relationship?How to Have Casual Sex — Without Hurting People's Feelings", "keywords": "How, Turn, Friends, With, Benefits, Into, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-turn-friends-with-benefits-into-a-relationship/askmen-lead-image-template-9-1721240376.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-turn-friends-with-benefits-into-a-relationship.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:59:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52086", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Best Carabiners to Upgrade Your Everyday Carry", "title_slug": "the-best-carabiners-to-upgrade-your-everyday-carry", "title_hash": "a3def2541798af16c80585fef76ef4d6", "summary": "Durable Designs Built for Plenty of Adventures Through Summer (And Beyond)", "content": "Be it adventures far afield or daily pursuits closer to home, you tend to recognize right away when your gear isn’t up to snuff. And that’s a non-negotiable, so to speak: Your gear, especially your everyday carry and particularly one of the best carabiners for men, should deliver hard-working durability and performance in spades. A carabiner has uses far beyond the mountain or the trail, but they should be able to get the job done out in the wild, too.\r\nRELATED: Best Backpacks for Men\r\nThe best carabiners for your everyday carry also blend technical function and modern style. When designed the right way, a rugged carabiner takes on a life of its own, with as much value as a pocket knife or your trusty leather wallet. Like one of the best bandanas for men, a well-designed carabiner balances both style and utility, and you’ll find a mix of luxe brands and outdoor favorites crafting this compact but endless useful everyday carry essential.\r\n \r\nBlack Diamond Rocklock Screwgate Carabiner\r\n\r\nIt seems a smart move to start your search for the best carabiners by trusting a brand renowned for its outdoor heritage. Whether attaching gear to the outside of a pack, securing valuables or taking on a touch of rock climbing, Black Diamond’s Rocklock Carabiner operates easily with one hand and comes in a sleek all-black colorway.\r\n$15 at Huckberry.com \r\nCraighill Carabiner in Vapor Brass\r\n\r\nThere are plenty of ways to transport and store your keys (a leather key fob comes to mind), but few rise to the occasion quite like the elegant-yet-rustic Craighill Carabiner. It’s as much a design piece as it is one of the best carabiners for your everyday carry, with a durable brass design, distinctive spring-wire gates and a seriously cool “curved S” look.\r\n$44 at Huckberry.com \r\nThe James Brand Mehlville Carabiner\r\n\r\nThe James Brand makes some of the finest, most dependable pocket knives on the planet, and they assuredly know a thing or two about a host of the best EDC essentials elsewhere, too. The nifty two-compartment design delivers no-slip performance – your keys won’t slide off when you unlatch the carabiner from your belt loop. Plus, it’s machined from tough aluminum and even includes a bottle opener.\r\n$59 at BespokePost.com \r\nTaylor Stitch Keyhook in Raw Brass\r\n\r\nNot all carabiners are created equal, and in fact, this isn’t quite a traditional carabiner at all. But, if you prefer the same functionality as a classic carabiner, yet in a handsome design that’ll develop the same patina as a fine leather wallet, then Taylor Stitch has an everyday carry solution for you. Better still is the fact that it hooks onto your belt loop like a traditional carabiner, all the while minimizing bulk.\r\n$32 at TaylorStitch.com \r\nMetolius Bravo II Carabiner\r\n\r\nSimple on the surface and yet mighty functional within the worlds of rock climbing and sport climbing, this Metolius carabiner packs a major punch in a small, subtle package. The hot-forged wiregate design is sturdy and stable, and the range of alpine-inspired color options is a sporty touch for every sense of style.\r\n$8.50 at REI.com \r\nNite IZE Dual-Chamber Carabiner\r\n\r\nGood things come in small packages, at least in the case of this dual-chamber carabiner – added security for your keys is the name of the game. The stainless steel body and carabiner gates are a major bonus in terms of durability, and it’s very hard to argue with the low price tag (in spite of loads of utility, that is).\r\nFrom $3.59 at Amazon.com \r\nSpigen Life Carabiner (Three-Pack)\r\n\r\nThe best carabiners take on a life of their own, or at least, they will when you have more than one essential, durable option at your disposal. With a zinc alloy closure and a streamlined design, this three-pack of carabiners also features a key “O ring” as an added attachment – wherever you go, your keys and valuables stay secure. They’re also as useful for camping and hiking as they are for storage and as a home hanger solution.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com \r\nL-Rover Lightweight Carabiner Clips\r\n\r\nThe last thing a carabiner should do is slow you down, no matter the way you’re putting it to use – L-Rover has designed one of the most lightweight carabiner clip options on the market, and it’s a difference you can feel. The quick-flip spring gate operates easily with one hand, with a wide variety of non-climbing uses at the ready. Stocking up on more than one set just might change your next camping trip or outdoor adventure for the better.\r\n$9.95 at Amazon.com \r\nB-Mardi Heavy-Duty Carabiner Clips\r\n\r\nThe best carabiners for your everyday carry open up a world of possibilities, with applications beyond what you might expect (beyond, say, rock climbing). A secure hanging or harness solution, this B-Mardi set takes advantage of aerospace aluminum and a rust-free finish. Plus, the design fits in the palm of your hand for easy transport and storage.\r\n$11.99 at Amazon.com \r\nPetzl Carabiner\r\n\r\nFor true outdoor pursuits, especially rock climbing, Petzl is as trusted a name as any when it comes to carefully crafting the best carabiners on the market. Its patented key locking system is sturdy and stable on the go, while the lightweight yet asymmetrical design makes it well-suited for a variety of applications – not to mention easy access in hard-to-reach situations.\r\nFrom $19.95 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n Best Carry-On Bags for MenBest Laptop Bags for MenBest Backpacks for College", "keywords": "The, Best, Carabiners, Upgrade, Your, Everyday, Carry", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "136", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gear/hobby/the-best-carabiners-to-upgrade-your-everyday-carry/askmen-lead-image-template-1721238195.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gear/hobby/the-best-carabiners-to-upgrade-your-everyday-carry.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:59:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52087", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Get Ripped", "title_slug": "how-to-get-ripped", "title_hash": "89236f95f0e072e9672233904ca0c0d8", "summary": "If this is your New Year's resolution, it's time you read this.", "content": "If you've ever watched a superhero movie, a professional combat athlete or simply gone to the beach and admired the muscled-up men strutting confidently up and down the sand and thought to yourself, \"I wish I could look like that,\" then this guide is for you.\r\nYou might not believe it, but the difference between you — whether you're skinny or overweight — and any given man with a ripped physique isn't nearly as big as you think. It doesn't all come down to genetics, or steroids, or blind luck. In fact, it's mostly just a combination of three things: hard work, persistence, and a bit of know-how.\r\nRELATED: How Often Should You Work Out?\r\nDon't believe us? Follow our advice for just six months of your life and see what happens. You'll drop body fat, build muscle mass, and start turning heads the next time you take your shirt off.\r\nTo help guide you on your journey, we recruited celebrity fitness trainer Sergio Pedemonte, owner of Your House Fitness who has worked with everyone from Gina Rodriguez (Jane the Virgin) to O.T Fagbenle (Handmaid's Tale and Marvel's Black Widow), to share his expertise on how to get ripped. His entire job involves getting people into the best shape of their lives, so you can bet he knows what he's talking about.\r\n\r\nDitch the 'But My Genetics' Excuse and Dream Big\r\n\r\nYes, we're not going to lie to you: your genes do play a role in your body composition and metabolism. However, some people inevitably exaggerate the importance of genetics and allow themselves to develop self-limiting beliefs around their body's capabilities.\r\nAccording to Pedemonte, your genetics mainly determine how quickly you can build muscle and/or lose fat, with most people falling into one of two categories: they are good at putting on weight, whether fat or muscle tissue, or they have extremely fast metabolisms and have a hard time gaining fat or muscle tissue. This isn't really the big deal you might think it is, since you can also use your genetics to your advantage. If you gain muscle easily, you can train at a moderate caloric surplus or even at maintenance and still see progress, and if you struggle to gain weight, you now have a license to eat a lot more food (more on that below).\r\nThe bottom line? Your genetics are something to work with, not some insuperable barrier to your future physique.\r\n\r\nDial in Your Diet With a Strategic Approach to Eating\r\n\r\nIt isn't an accident that we put diet before training and cardio. Diet is king. Diet will make or break your physique. So you'd better get it right.\r\nRELATED: How to Optimize Pre- and Post-Workout Nutrition\r\nWe tapped Pedemonte for specific advice on establishing the proper diet for optimal results, since getting a ripped body involves a lot more than just cutting out your fast food lunches:\r\n\r\n\tMonitor your calorie intake: You need to know how many calories you're consuming each day, and whether you're in a caloric deficit or surplus — give or take 100 calories. People tend to underestimate this number, Pedemonte told us, so precision is key. You can download a diet or nutrition app to help you track this.\r\n\tTrack your macros: You need to get an adequate amount of protein since protein will help repair your damaged muscles. It's also the most thermogenic of the macronutrients, so a high-protein diet pays serious dividends in terms of calories consumed.\r\n\tStop drinking your calories: A sure-fire way to fail a diet is to drink calorie-heavy drinks like sodas or sugar-filled specialty coffees. Drink tea or black coffee, replace your sodas with naturally-flavored sparkling waters, and aim to drink a lot more water throughout the day. It will help you feel full, too.\r\n\tBuild out a proper diet with vegetables and lean protein: Once you start tracking your calories, you'll understand that you simply don't have room to eat certain foods. Your hamburger with sauce might taste great, but it will cut into a huge chunk of your allotted calories. The solution? Embrace vegetables and lean protein sources like chicken, turkey, and fish. You'll be able to eat more volume while consuming fewer calories.\r\n\r\n\r\nHit the Weights and Track Your Progress\r\n\r\nWeight lifting, resistance training, and bodyweight strength training are essential. It's non-negotiable. These are the single best tools for building muscle, and muscle, in turn, makes fat burning easier, since the more muscle you have, the more calories those muscles require to sustain themselves. But the kind of weight training you do matters as well.\r\nRELATED: How to Torch Lots of Calories With Low-Intensity Steady-State Cardio\r\nPedemonte suggests you focus on compound movements like the bench press, squat, deadlift, and push-up, together with some basic core work. If you're new to weightlifting and don't know where to begin, you can find any number of free programs on the internet, or you can follow Pedemonte's basic template:\r\n\r\n\tPick a compound exercise\r\n\tPerform 5 sets of 10-15 repetitions\r\n\tRest from 30 seconds to one minute between sets \r\n\r\nThis amount of volume will help promote muscle growth while also helping you focus on perfecting your form.\r\n\r\nIncorporate a Mix of High- and Low-Intensity Cardio\r\n\r\nFor the goal of getting ripped, Pedemonte recommends doing two very different types of cardio exercise: high-intensity and low-intensity or steady-state cardio.\r\nHigh-Intensity Cardio: Sprinting, cycling, rowing, and many fast-action sports like hockey, football, basketball, and soccer all qualify. This type of cardio pushes your heart rate up and creates a nice \"afterburn\" effect, which will boost your metabolism long after you've stopped training.\r\nIf you don't particularly like sports and just want a rubric to get through a gym workout, Pedemonte suggests high-intensity interval training, using a bike, treadmill, or rowing machine for three minutes of high-energy cardio work followed by one-minute recovery, and then repeating the whole session three times, for a total of nine minutes of exercise and three minutes of rest.\r\nSteady-State Cardio: Think hiking, long walks, hill walks, or even a casual bike ride. There are two advantages of steady-state cardio: you'll usually burn more total calories, since you'll be training for longer than with the high-intensity variety, and because you're not pushing your lungs or your muscles to the limit, the recovery time is minimal.\r\nPedemonte recommends adding in regular walks of 10 to 30 minutes, once or twice a day, to help bolster your calorie burn without punishing your body or impeding muscle recovery between more strenuous workouts.\r\n\r\nEssential Workout Tools\r\n\r\nFollow the above tips for just six months and we guarantee you'll be in the best shape of your life. But what if you don't have access to a gym? No worries: we've put together a short list of fitness tools to help you with muscle gain and fat loss in the comfort of your own home.\r\nAmazon Basics Battle Exercise Training Rope\r\n\r\n\r\nTraining with battle ropes will get your heart rate up, covering your cardio bases, while also working your muscles, covering your weight training bases, and it's fun too. \r\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPerfect Fitness Rotating Pushup Handles\r\n\r\nAdd depth to one of the best bodyweight exercises (the pushup) while also extending your range of motion and incorporating a rotating motion to torch your chest muscles. This is a great way to take the normal pushup and make it more difficult.\r\n$24.99 at Amazon.com\r\nFEECCO Weighted Jump Rope \r\n\r\n\r\nJumping rope is an intense cardio workout no matter what rope you're using. However, if you're looking to get ripped, the a good weighted jump rope is the way to go. With a half-pound total weight, these will have you feeling the burn in not only your arms but also your core, legs, back, and shoulders.\r\n$19.95 at Amazon.com\r\nNordicTrack Adjustable Dumbbells\r\n\r\nIf you have the cash to splash and want a better replacement for an actual gym, look no further than this pair of adjustable dumbbells from NordicTrack. You'll get weights ranging from 10 to 55 pounds, in 2.5-pound increments, opening up a huge range of movement options, from presses to rows to goblet squats.\r\n$349 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Get Better at Pull-Ups\r\n\tTrainers Reveal the Most Common Muscle Growth Myths\r\n\tHow to Set Realistic Weight Loss Goals", "keywords": "How, Get, Ripped", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "107", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/weight_loss/how-to-get-ripped/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1721224937.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/weight_loss/how-to-get-ripped.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:59:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52088", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Amazon Prime Day: Best NSFW Deals", "title_slug": "amazon-prime-day-best-nsfw-deals", "title_hash": "74a29512355af8e23c38525037c80346", "summary": "Did You Know Amazon Had a Naughty Side? Here Are Their Best NSFW Prime Offerings", "content": "It's a well-kept secret that Amazon is actually a great online shop for all things kink — if you know where to look. You won't find these NSFW deals advertised on the front page, but Prime Day offers some great discounts on sex toys, lubricants, contraceptives and other naughty necessities. \r\nRELATED: Prime Big Deal Days 2024: Best Deals for Couples\r\nRather than force you to manually search through the site and contend with their parental controls, we've done you a solid and picked out the best NSFW Prime Day deals — just don't browse this list while you're working!\r\n\r\nThe Best NSFW Prime Day Deals\r\n\r\nSex Toys & Games Deals\r\nSatisfyer Pro 2\r\n$40.95 $29.95 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nLife Sutra Couple Connect Game\r\n$34.95 $24.97 at Amazon.com\r\nBAD PEOPLE Party Game + Expansion Pack, NSFW Brutal Pack\r\n$39.95 $19.95 at Amazon.com\r\nWearable Vibrator\r\n$29.99 $20.79 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nLubricant Deals\r\nValm Water-Based Lube\r\n$15.97 $12.77 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nHello Cake Silicone-Based Lube\r\n$16.99 $13.59 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nVelvet Rose Intimate Lubricant\r\n$13.99 $11.19 at Amazon.com\r\nAstroglide Silicone Lube\r\n$10.99 $8.79 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nCondom Deals\r\nTrojan Bareskin Variety Pack, 24 Count\r\n$15.97 $11.17 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nTrojan Bareskin Thin Premium Condoms, 24 Count\r\n$23.99 $12.31 at Amazon.com\r\nNottyBoy Condoms Variety Pack, 50 Count\r\n$16.99 $13.59 at Amazon.com\r\nTrojan Magnum Raw, 24 Count\r\n$19.99 $13.99 at Amazon.com\r\nLELO HEX Ultra Thin Condoms, 36 Count\r\n$34.90 $21.50 at Amazon.com\r\nDurex Condoms Adventure Pack, 144 Count\r\n$35 $21 at Amazon.com\r\nDurex Air Condoms, Extra Thin, 36 Count\r\n$18.99 $15.19 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tPrime Day: Best Tech Deals\r\n\tPrime Day: Best Fitness & Gear Deals\r\n\tPrime Day: Best Fashion Deals", "keywords": "Amazon, Prime, Day:, Best, NSFW, Deals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_toys_and_games/amazon-prime-day-best-nsfw-deals/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1721221565.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_toys_and_games/amazon-prime-day-best-nsfw-deals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:59:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "52089", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Amazon Prime Day: Best Deals Couples Can Enjoy Together", "title_slug": "amazon-prime-day-best-deals-couples-can-enjoy-together", "title_hash": "44ee8bee15cdd1cdf9967038a99b70d4", "summary": "Make Prime Day Romantic With These Gift Options for Two", "content": "It might not be an inherently romantic day, but you can turn Amazon's Prime Day into a fun event for two thanks to the site's great deals on sensual, romantic and intimate items. \r\nRELATED: Prime Day 2024: Best Grooming Deals\r\nDon't believe us? We've picked out some of the best Prime Day deals on gifts couples can enjoy together, so you can either surprise your significant other with a mid-July bonanza or stockpile something great for future birthday, anniversary or Valentine's Day surprises.\r\n\r\nThe Best Prime Deals for Couples\r\n\r\nFeraco Matching His & Hers Necklace Set\r\n\r\nWhat better way to make your love known than matching jewelry? This necklace set from Feraco is tasteful and modern.\r\n$25.99 $12.79 at Amazon.com\r\nPicnic Basket for Two\r\n\r\nA picnic for two in the park? Don't forget the champagne.\r\n$56.99 $48.43 at Amazon.com\r\nBestSelf Intimacy Deck – Conversation Starters for Couples\r\n\r\nInject some excitement into your relationship with this exciting set of prompts. You won't have any idea where the conversation will take you ...\r\n$33.70 $22.92 at Amazon.com\r\nHomemory Flameless Candles, 6-Pack\r\n\r\nThe perfect way to give a sensual upgrade to any activity.\r\n$19.99 $13.59 at Amazon.com\r\nMilkman & 50s Housewife Costume\r\n\r\nWhether you want an early Halloween costume or just a fun way to role play, this couples costume is a fun way to enjoy this sales event together.\r\n$29.99 $20.49 at Amazon.com\r\nNATROSES Forever Preserved Roses in a Box\r\n\r\n\r\nEternal blue roses – what could possibly be more romantic?\r\n$39.42 $29.17 at Amazon.com\r\nBath Bomb Gift Set\r\n\r\nDraw a warm bath for two and enjoy a variety of scents and colors. \r\n$12.99 $11.04 at Amazon.com\r\nKodak Dock Plus 4PASS Instant Photo Printer\r\n\r\n\r\nUse your smartphone to instantly capture your favorite moments together and then print them out and pin them to a fridge, a scrapbook or somewhere more private with the help of this Kodak instant printer. \r\n$199.99 $119.99 at Amazon.com\r\nArtestia Swiss Tranditional Fondue Pot\r\n\r\nEnjoy a sensual feast of melted cheese or fruit dipped in chocolate. \r\n$75.99 $51.19 at Amazon.com\r\nSee? With a little creativity, you can turn this Early Access Day shopping spree into a fun date night, a romantic picnic, or a memorable gift you can both enjoy forever.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tPrime Day: Best Tech Deals\r\n\tPrime Day: Best Fitness Deals\r\n\tPrime Day: Best Fashion Deals", "keywords": "Amazon, Prime, Day:, Best, Deals, Couples, Can, Enjoy, Together", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "102", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/amazon-prime-day-best-deals-couples-can-enjoy-together/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1721189428.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/amazon-prime-day-best-deals-couples-can-enjoy-together.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:59:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "51827", "lang_id": "1", "title": "J.D. Vance Is Really Happening", "title_slug": "jd-vance-is-really-happening", "title_hash": "edd5fd1efa99b94cbb14219b9330a44b", "summary": "The GOP presidential ticket is set with Trump-Vance.\nThe post J.D. Vance Is Really Happening appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

This piece first appeared in our weekly newsletter, The Fallout.

Now that Donald Trump has announced Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH) as his running mate, the Republican presidential ticket is complete. Choosing Vance as the vice presidential candidate says many things to voters, with one message perhaps loudest of all: The conservative backlash against bodily autonomy is going full speed ahead.

Vance is not only a faux-populist political grifter—he’s also a die-hard pro-natalist who believes in using the power of the state to restrict and redirect reproductive autonomy to serve conservative economic policy interests. In addition to vocal support of a national abortion ban and voting against protections for in vitro fertilization, Vance is on the record as opposing no-fault divorce, child-care subsidies, and the idea of women working outside the home in general. They’re positions that align conveniently with big-money conservative donors like Elon Musk and Peter Thiel, and the stated policy goals of the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025.

As I said last week in this newsletter, despite media headlines to the contrary, there’s no evidence Republicans are moderating on anything, let alone abortion.

It gets worse.

Vance is only 39 years old and poised to become the face—and future leader of—the conservative movement and Republican Party. Nominating Vance is their succession planning, and his lack of political experience an asset, not a liability. With Vance, there’s no risk he’ll stand up to Trump in any capacity the way former Vice President Mike Pence did.

Once again, it is a straight line connecting reproductive oppression and autocracy.

The post J.D. Vance Is Really Happening appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "J.D., Vance, Really, Happening", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "552", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Fallout-July-GOP-VP-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/18/j-d-vance-is-really-happening/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 10:44:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "51317", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Is My Husband Yelling at Me?", "title_slug": "why-is-my-husband-yelling-at-me", "title_hash": "2f533f00e2c1e4cbdc453ab061d707b6", "summary": "You might find yourself feeling stuck, lonely, and helpless. When your husband yells at you, it can feel scary and alone. The fact you are reading this means you are […]\nThe post Why Is My Husband Yelling at Me? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

You might find yourself feeling stuck, lonely, and helpless. When your husband yells at you, it can feel scary and alone. The fact you are reading this means you are […]

The post Why Is My Husband Yelling at Me? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Why, Husband, Yelling, Me", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "146", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/GettyImages-1159690855-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-is-my-husband-yelling-at-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 09:55:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "51316", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Actor Eddie Murphy marries longtime partner Paige Butcher in private Caribbean wedding", "title_slug": "actor-eddie-murphy-marries-longtime-partner-paige-butcher-in-private-caribbean-wedding", "title_hash": "4787851d1edb33018140f0eb52b43e8d", "summary": "Eddie Murphy has officially tied the knot with his longtime partner, Paige Butcher. The couple exchanged vows on Tuesday in Anguilla in the Caribbean, as reported by People. The actor and Butcher have been engaged since 2018, making this wedding a highly anticipated event. Photos published by People showcase a stunning ceremony, with both […]", "content": " $\"Actor$

Eddie Murphy has officially tied the knot with his longtime partner, Paige Butcher. The couple exchanged vows on Tuesday in Anguilla in the Caribbean, as reported by People.

The actor and Butcher have been engaged since 2018, making this wedding a highly anticipated event. Photos published by People showcase a stunning ceremony, with both bride and groom dressed in resplendent white outfits—Butcher in a dress by Mira Zwillinger and Murphy in a suit by Brioni.

$\"Actor$

Murphy and Butcher share two children together, daughter Izzy and son Max. This marks Murphy’s second marriage and Butcher’s first.

The couple began dating in 2012, and this ceremony serves to officially legalize their long-standing relationship. Despite the formalities, Murphy and Butcher have been deeply in love for years

Speculation about their marital status arose last month when Murphy referred to Butcher as his wife twice during a New York Times interview. Although they hadn’t tied the knot at that time, it was evident that the wedding was imminent.

The intimate Caribbean ceremony confirms their commitment, adding a new chapter to their love story.

", "keywords": "Actor, Eddie, Murphy, marries, longtime, partner, Paige, Butcher, private, Caribbean, wedding", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "107", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Actor-Eddie-Murphy-marries-longtime-partner-Paige-Butcher-in-private-Caribbean-wedding.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/actor-eddie-murphy-marries-longtime-partner-paige-butcher-in-private-caribbean-wedding/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-18 09:55:30", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "51315", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Biodun Okeowo Weds Adeniyi Olabiyi (Photos)", "title_slug": "biodun-okeowo-weds-adeniyi-olabiyi-photos", "title_hash": "e5e78eadf0666116cca25894264f3887", "summary": "Actress Biodun Sofuyi Olabiyi aka Omoborty, and her man, Adeniyi Olabiyi, have tied the knot traditionally. The couple tied the knot this weekend in the presence of their family, friends and well wishers. An excited Omoborty shared photos and videos from the ceremony and wrote; ‘’Ladies and gentlemen, I officially present to you […]", "content": " $\"Biodun$

Actress Biodun Sofuyi Olabiyi aka Omoborty, and her man, Adeniyi Olabiyi, have tied the knot traditionally.

The couple tied the knot this weekend in the presence of their family, friends and well wishers.

An excited Omoborty shared photos and videos from the ceremony and wrote;

Congrats to them!

$\"Biodun$ $\"Biodun$ $\"Biodun$ $\"Biodun$ $\"Biodun$ $\"Biodun$

A history of Wisconsin’s voting

In the early 20th century, the Republican Party dominated Wisconsin, winning every statewide election between 1894 and 1930 and controlling large majorities in the legislature.

In the late 1940s, activists began rebuilding the moribund Democratic Party, which drew on two major areas of strength. The first was the industrial lakeshore regions of Milwaukee, Racine, and Kenosha counties, where the Democratic prospects were bolstered by labor unions and the strong socialist tradition of the city of Milwaukee.

Democratic support for national civil rights laws and nondiscriminatory equal housing laws in the 1960s also made the state’s African Americans reliable Democratic voters.

The second major issue driving support for Democrats was Madison, the capital and home of the University of Wisconsin, which by the 1970s became known as one of the most liberal cities in the country.

After years of organizing, Wisconsin Democrats finally broke the Republican monopoly by electing William Proxmire as senator in 1957—he was reelected multiple times and served until 1989—and Gaylord Nelson as governor in 1958.

For the rest of the 20th century, Democrats and Republicans remained evenly matched. Although both parties had support from particular populations—Republicans were more popular in the suburbs, while Democrats held more sway in larger cities—both parties campaigned across the state. And rural voters could be swayed by Democratic candidates’ agricultural policies or by Republicans’ appeal to conservative social values.

A shift in Wisconsin politics

By the 1990s, though, Wisconsin’s political geography began to change. Declining factory jobs in the automotive, heavy machinery and farm equipment industries reduced the number of union members, sapping a major source of Democratic strength in the state.

At the same time, a shift toward corporate farming in Wisconsin—meaning large-scale agriculture production traditionally managed by private companies—reduced the overall number of small and medium-sized family farms. This created a rural state population not directly involved with agriculture and also diminished Democrats’ ability to appeal to nonurban voters.

Republicans capitalized on this trend by depicting Democrats as out-of-touch elitists who ignored those who did not live in urban centers such as Madison or Milwaukee.

After Obama’s 2008 election, Republicans rode a backlash against this perceived hostility toward rural and small-town white voters, electing Scott Walker governor in 2010. Republicans also secured a lopsided state legislative majority through partisan redistricting that favored their party.

The rural white voter

Trump’s 2016 campaign appealed to Wisconsin’s rural, overwhelmingly white voters, especially among those without a college degree.

Mitt Romney carried this Wisconsin demographic 52 percent to Obama’s 47 percent in 2012; Trump carried it 56 percent to 38 percent in 2016.

In 62 out of 72 counties, Wisconsin’s Republican vote increased between 2012 and 2016, and the sharpest increase was in rural counties. The “reddening” of these counties was instrumental to Trump’s victory, and this trend continued in 2020.

On the other hand, the most historically reliable Republican areas became noticeably less Republican. Republican turnout declined significantly in suburban Milwaukee counties, including Ozaukee, Washington, and Waukesha. Clearly, suburban voters were more skeptical of Trump than rural voters.

Heading into the 2024 Biden-Trump rematch, I believe this rural-urban split will likely continue, and the election will certainly be close. Many suburban Republicans remain unenthused about a third Trump candidacy, turned off by his legal woes and the chaos of January 6.

Economy a top issue for Wisconsinites

Biden faces his own headwinds.

The most important issue for Wisconsin voters is the economy. A March 2024 poll conducted by Emerson College and political publication the Hill revealed that economic issues, including the costs of health care and housing, were the most important concerns for nearly half of Wisconsin voters.

Concerns about inflation are a recurring theme, as campaign volunteers have heard when they go door to door.

The Biden campaign recognizes unease over the economy as a threat, and the president has made multiple visits to Wisconsin over the past few months promoting his infrastructure plans and the growth in manufacturing jobs in Wisconsin under his administration.

Abortion and immigration also matter to voters

If concerns over the economy boost Trump’s chances in the state, another potent issue provides a significant advantage for Biden.

Approximately 80 percent of surveyed Wisconsin voters identified abortion rights as “one of the most” or a “somewhat” important issue for them in May 2024.

Right now, abortion is legal in Wisconsin until 20 weeks of pregnancy, but there are lawsuits challenging this policy.

Even some Republicans are uneasy with the fact that the three Supreme Court justices that Trump appointed were instrumental in overturning Roe v. Wade in June 2022. Trump’s continual shifting on abortion has not reassured some local Republican leaders who are worried about a pro-abortion rights surge toward Biden.

Additionally, Republican voters, despite the state’s distance from the southern border, express concern about immigration. Although this issue may help motivate Republicans otherwise not enthusiastic about Trump to vote for him, it is unlikely to sway many undecided or independent voters.

A duel to save America

The immigration issue is balanced by some Democrats’ concerns about preserving democracy itself and not electing Trump.

Both Democrats and Republicans have used apocalyptic language urging Wisconsin voters to “save America,” but Democrats can point to the January 6, 2021 riot and Trump’s ongoing legal problems rather than Republicans’ more abstract concern about border security.

In the recent Emerson College survey, 9.5 percent of Wisconsin respondents listed “threats to democracy” as the No. 1 issue for voters.

Pro-Palestinian encampments at Wisconsin universities, as well as the police response to the protests, might also undermine Biden’s support among younger, more liberal voters.

A Biden victory in Wisconsin would require a big turnout in Madison and Milwaukee. But the youth vote in Wisconsin—as well as elsewhere—may be diminished out of concerns over the Israel-Hamas conflict in the Gaza Strip, potentially costing Biden reelection. Strong turnout in rural counties, combined with continued anxiety over inflation, could very well make Wisconsin flip back to Trump. $\"The$

The post How Wisconsin Became a Key Swing State in the Presidential Election appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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True Life Story: In Love With My Cousin But Her Mom Says No Because We Are Not Destined To Be Together

Dear Lively Stones,

Please hide my identity, I am confused and in need of counsel. I am a young man of 33 years. After almost 3 years after graduation with no job, my dad was able to connect me with a distant Uncle who is quite wealthy in Lagos. My uncle found me a job in Lagos. I moved to Lagos in February of this year. In May, my uncle’s second daughter came back from the US and because we are close in age, we became friends quite fast.

Ezinne is fun and bubbly…always wanting to make everyone happy. It was easy to bond with her, after work, she would come to my room to gist or drag me to the living room to gist and watch movies. She also used to like dropping or picking me up from work cos she had a car of her own. Ezinne and I also hung out with some of her rich friends sometimes.

Every time we went out, her friends will be all over Ezinne, asking her to hook them up with me. Ezinner used to tease me that I was a heart breaker cos I told her I was not ready for relationship cos I just started working and I needed to focus on building a career or something before I get involved with any lady. But I noticed that despite how much I denied it, I started having feelings for Ezinne.

Trust me I fought those thoughts or feelings for Ezinne…I did…but I think she also started feeling same way. I started noticing subtle flirting from her. The feelings began to affect even my sleep…I had wet dreams about her…but told myself…Ezinne was not an option. She is my benefactor’s daughter. Besides, she had a boyfriend, some rich guy’s son from our village…so, I tried to ignore how both of us were feeling.

Well, so far, I have succeeded to keep the feelings away but few weeks ago, I fell ill. I had to stay home after I was given medications. Ezinner was around me like a dotting nurse, taking care of me. One night, my fever was so high, everyone was worried….Ezinne began to cry. But thank God, I got better after a week or so. When I got better, Ezinne said she was so scared of loosing me. It was a vulnerable moment, we started kissing …it was like all the bottled emotions started coming up.

We were able to stop before it went too far but since that day, things have not been the same. I have intentionally stayed away from Ezinne because we both want each other so much but I am scared. I know where I come from, I have nothing to offer her. But she said she does not care. I am also scared of her parents, what will they say? Remember we are distant cousins, we are supposed to be family.

Ezinne does not think any of my concerns matter, she said she would tell her parents about her feelings. Few days ago, her mom called me and said I should forget about his daughter, that she is not my destiny. Since that day, the mom has been acting aggressive to me. This morning, the mom came and asked me to leave their house by end of the week. I apologized and told her that I will not pursue any relationship with her daughter but she insisted I leave by weekend.

I left home without waiting for Ezinne to drop me this morning. She has been calling my phone, am sure she wants to know what happened. That is why I am confused. I know Ezinne, she would go against her mother if possible…she has not told her dad cos he travelled. I am thinking of actually leaving their house but I have not saved enough money for my own accommodation.

What will I do…going home now is making me nervous….Ezinne is something else….rich kid…she does not fully understand….me, I can deny my feelings but she does not want to let me be…she believes she is an adult and no one can tell her what to do. I support that kind of thinking but I am simply not emotionally or financially ready…..I know I like her alot…I have feelings for her but the time is not right...and as a woman, I know she cant probably wait for me to be stable…should I just tell her I dont have feelings for her anymore…so she can forget about us?

More From Lively Stones

I am confused…her mother h@tes me now…and wants me out of their house. Please advise me.

Anonymous

Comment & Share This Story (Kindly Keep Comments tasteful)

", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Love, With, Cousin, But, Her, Mom, Says, Because, Are, Not, Destined, Together", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "97", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Distant-cousin.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-in-love-with-my-cousin-but-her-mom-says-no-because-we-are-not-destined-to-be-together/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:48:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "50249", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: 6 Good Topics for a Same-Night Lay", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-6-good-topics-for-a-same-night-lay", "title_hash": "68b4d1f7751cc251c8cf8a2d2d836707", "summary": "To pull off a same-night lay, you can’t just talk about any old topic to girls. Instead, you must focus on topics that seduce: the ASSTAP topics.\nWhat you talk about with women helps frame the interaction with them – and the ultimate end result.\nSpend a couple hours talking to a girl about My Little Pony and her string of no-good ex-boyfriends, and you’ll likely find yourself with a magical ticket to the friend zone.\nDevote your time with a woman to nothing but career advice and tips on how she can live her best existence, and you’ll have talked your way into being her new (and unpaid) life coach.\nIf instead of those or other less desirable outcomes you wish to end up with a girl undressed in your bedroom with you this very night, you are going to need to talk about something different.\nThe best things to talk about with her if the lay is your goal are six (6) particular topics:\n\nAdventure\nSpontaneity\nSexuality\n“Tomorrow we may die”\nAutonomy\n“Peas in a pod”\n\n… six little topics, which ", "content": "

$\"good$ To pull off a same-night lay, you can’t just talk about any old topic to girls. Instead, you must focus on topics that seduce: the ASSTAP topics.

What you talk about with women helps frame the interaction with them – and the ultimate end result.

Spend a couple hours talking to a girl about My Little Pony and her string of no-good ex-boyfriends, and you’ll likely find yourself with a magical ticket to the friend zone.

Devote your time with a woman to nothing but career advice and tips on how she can live her best existence, and you’ll have talked your way into being her new (and unpaid) life coach.

If instead of those or other less desirable outcomes you wish to end up with a girl undressed in your bedroom with you this very night, you are going to need to talk about something different.

The best things to talk about with her if the lay is your goal are six (6) particular topics:

Adventure
Spontaneity
Sexuality
“Tomorrow we may die”
Autonomy
“Peas in a pod”

… six little topics, which we can innocently abbreviate as ASSTAP.

Because when you talk to girls with these topics, you’ll be tapping that ass.

Let’s dive in.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Good, Topics, for, Same-Night, Lay", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "135", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/same-night-lay-topics-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-6-good-topics-same-night-lay", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:40:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "50250", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Come Looksmaxxed Men Don't Get Laid?", "title_slug": "how-come-looksmaxxed-men-dont-get-laid", "title_hash": "1d2dc7d9dfe5106796087f747a02b1e0", "summary": "Looksmaxxed men can look very good. Some become truly beautiful men. So why, if they look so good, and get so many likes online, can’t they get laid?\nOver on the forum, we have a thread by a Singaporean guy planning to travel to the US for school who is concerned American white women won’t want him because he is 5’9” and Asian.\nFor a while we talked to him about what he needs to do to attain the results he is after (namely, Caucasian-American girls on his cock). We talked about numerous examples of men like him, or even men who (according to his looks-based paradigm) should be ‘worse off’ than him (e.g., shorter, heavily accented Asian men) who excel with precisely the demographics he longs for.\nThis forum member brushed all our guidance aside and kept returning to his looks, saying he wanted to get plastic surgery, and finally saying this:\nSo yeah, maybe I have just watched too many lookism / looks-maxing videos, but they seem to make some valid points about how shallow white women ca", "content": "

$\"looksmaxxed$ Looksmaxxed men can look very good. Some become truly beautiful men. So why, if they look so good, and get so many likes online, can’t they get laid?

Over on the forum, we have a thread by a Singaporean guy planning to travel to the US for school who is concerned American white women won’t want him because he is 5’9” and Asian.

For a while we talked to him about what he needs to do to attain the results he is after (namely, Caucasian-American girls on his cock). We talked about numerous examples of men like him, or even men who (according to his looks-based paradigm) should be ‘worse off’ than him (e.g., shorter, heavily accented Asian men) who excel with precisely the demographics he longs for.

This forum member brushed all our guidance aside and kept returning to his looks, saying he wanted to get plastic surgery, and finally saying this:

Aha. So it’s media influence.

Yet however ‘valid’ the glowing screen’s points may appear, it doesn’t change the fact that the guys who pour heaps of time and energy into extreme looksmaxxing (mewing, plastic surgery, bone smashing – which started as a joke meme, FYI, before looksmaxxers started taking it seriously; Poe’s law in action) often still end up dateless, sexless incels.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

So, riddle me this, Batman: what’s the difference between getting romantic advice from a voluntarily celibate monk who lives in a monastery and has pledged his life to chastity versus getting romantic advice from an involuntarily celibate looksmax guru who splits his life between the gym and the plastic surgery clinic and has pledged his life to vanity?

Will the romantic acumen of one celibate man surpass the romantic acumen of another?

Would you take dietary advice from an obese man, or career advice from a beggar?

And for that matter – why don’t looksmaxxed men get laid?

\n\n\n

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We have a lot of splendid new content from Tony Depp plus one new addition from Hector Castillo over on GirlsChase.TV. If you haven’t been keeping up with what’s going up over there, here’s the recap…

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "WATCH, Meditation, Motivation, Signs, Day, Game", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "104", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/sites/default/files/styles/461x320/public/gctv-screenshot-preview_0.jpg?itok=HTlKtvfy", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/watch-meditation-motivation-signs-day-game", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:40:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "50247", "lang_id": "1", "title": "‘I’m 21, My Partner is 44 – He Splurged £1,230 on My Birthday’", "title_slug": "im-21-my-partner-is-44-he-splurged-1230-on-my-birthday", "title_hash": "46284bd62c2879f27e1f9038f8ebf95e", "summary": "An influencer shared all the birthday gifts her 44-year-old boyfriend gave her, including a Gucci ring and £450…", "content": "An influencer shared all the birthday gifts her 44-year-old boyfriend gave her, including a Gucci ring and £450…", "keywords": "‘I’m, Partner, –, Splurged, £1,230, Birthday’", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/immage.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/im-21-my-partner-is-44-he-splurged-1230-on-my-birthday/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:40:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "50245", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: What Is Cruising & How Does It Work?", "title_slug": "str8curious-what-is-cruising-how-does-it-work", "title_hash": "d58e1a87c80b7665460cfa74ddff748a", "summary": "In Which We Take a Peek Into the World of Gay 'Cruising'", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\r\nThe Question\r\n“I am somewhat new to messing around with guys and the term ‘cruising’ keeps popping up on the sex apps. While I’ve come to learn that this essentially means public sex, I am wondering if there is a certain protocol that one should follow if they’re hoping to partake. Isn’t this risky? Does it happen organically? Tell me everything I need to know, please.” - William, Charleston, SC\r\nThe Answer\r\nYou’re most certainly correct, William. In the gay community, “cruising” isn’t sipping mai tais on a giant ship with your grandparents. It’s a slang term for public sex — with someone you’ve just met. \r\nAnd while I certainly wouldn’t recommend partaking in illegal activities, the rush and thrill of a casual, anonymous hookup in a park, hotel bathroom, or any designated “cruising ground” can be quite alluring (at least for some men). \r\nWhile these escapades typically happen spontaneously (much like the double-tapping under a stall by self-hating, anti-LGBTQ+ politicians), there are certified cruising spots that are famous for dudes doing the dirty. \r\nThe catch is that once these public sex spots become too popular, word spreads almost instantaneously and law enforcement may closely monitor the location for lewd activity. If caught, you can face jail time and even felony charges (it ranges state by state). \r\nThat, of course, doesn’t deter adrenaline junkies from getting their rocks off. For those who exercise extreme caution and patience, a quick handjob, blowjob, or even romp can happen after a simple wink of the eye or tug of the crotch. \r\nIn fact, some cruising areas even boast glory holes men will literally stick their dicks into, with hopes that it will find an open mouth or ass on the other side. \r\nRELATED: Here’s What It’s Like to Have a Wild Glory Hole Experience \r\nApps like Sniffies have gained popularity for guys who enjoy engaging in this type of activity. It highlights active spots and allows gays to even plan ahead and announce when they’ll arrive. But again, the reward may not outweigh the risk of getting arrested. \r\nI’m by no means a prude, but I’d hate to see anyone locked up, embarrassed, or even fired from a job, all because they wanted to do what can be done after 15 minutes of watching a favorite performer on OnlyFans. You’ll need to ask yourself if it’s worth satisfying the fetish and consider what’s at stake. \r\nShould you still decide to move forward, ensure that you are 100 percent getting the right signals. It can be easy to get caught up in the nerves and excitement of the moment and interpret a simple smile from a stranger as an invitation to S their D. \r\nBut if you make the mistake of making a move to an unwilling participant, you’ll not only face charges of public indecency, but also sexual assault. \r\nThere must be mutual consent from both parties with absolutely zero gray area. Just because an assumedly gay man shows up to a notorious cruising spot (typically a bathroom), it doesn't mean that he’s into you. He may be there to literally just take a piss. \r\nI don’t mean to be a boner kill. Lord knows there are places like Fire Island where public sex is as common as the seashells that wash ashore on its beach. But please, for the love of Christ, Beyoncé, or whatever deity you worship, don’t be stupid. \r\nRELATED: How Many People Have Had Sex in a Public Place? \r\nNot only will you do a disservice to yourself, but also the entire gay community, which strives each and every day to not be labeled as sex-starved deviants who require every orifice to be stuffed with cock at all times. \r\nWhenever cruising is exposed and covered by the media (which, ironically, seems to typically involve the aforementioned hypocritical anti-LGBTQ lawmakers), it acts as fodder for homophobes to paint broad strokes and label us all as hardcore sinners. \r\nPlay smart. And don’t just use the head below your belt when it comes to making spur-of-the-moment decisions. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Make Parks Safe for Public SexBest Positions for Public Sex, Illustrated\r\nWhat It’s Really Like to Have Sex in Public", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, What, Cruising, How, Does, Work", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/str8curious-what-is-cruising-how-does-it-work/askmen-lead-image-template-5-1720721393.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/str8curious-what-is-cruising-how-does-it-work.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:40:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "50246", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Toxic Positivity?", "title_slug": "what-is-toxic-positivity", "title_hash": "fdb78cfa486369a7f3264e16b340d0f8", "summary": "‘Toxic Positivity’ Can Hurt Your Relationship — Here’s What to Try Instead", "content": "As the saying goes, it is possible to have too much of a good thing — and that includes optimism. \r\nThis is known as “toxic positivity,” and if you’ve ever been on the receiving end, you know how frustrating it can be when someone tries to talk you out of the sadness, disappointment, or pain you’re experiencing. \r\nSometimes, you really just need someone to say, \"Wow, that must be so difficult,\" or “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, it sucks,” rather than telling you to smile and keep your chin up or reminding you of all you should be grateful for. \r\nNot to mention, studies have shown that suppressing feelings can actually cause more internal, psychological stress — so, no matter how well-intentioned your positive attitude may be, it’s important to remember that invalidating their emotions could cause real damage. \r\nRELATED: How Men Can Work on Improving Their Emotional Intelligence\r\nBut how is toxic positivity defined? What are some examples of toxic positivity? And how can you make sure you don’t let it hurt your relationship? We talked to licensed therapists for the full low-down on this harmful habit. Here’s what to know.\r\n\r\nWhat Is Toxic Positivity?\r\n\r\nDr. Jamie Huysman, a trauma-certified psychologist and licensed clinical social worker at WellMed Medical Management, defines toxic positivity as: “the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations.”\r\n“This mindset rejects and denies any negative emotions, dismissing them in favor of a falsely positive front,” he explains. \r\nRELATED: How Using 'Solve Languages' Can Help Your Relationship\r\nAccording to Huysman, toxic positivity can occur in a wide range of relationships — including romantic partnerships, families, friendships, and even in the workplace.\r\n\r\nToxic Positivity Examples\r\n\r\nHere are some phrases that exude toxic positivity when someone’s going through a hard time, according to Kristie Tse, a psychotherapist and the founder of Uncover Mental Health Counseling:\r\n“Just stay positive!”“It could be worse.”“Well, everything happens for a reason.”\r\nHere are some other examples of toxic positivity in action:\r\nSaying “You’re so negative!” when your partner is expressing that they’re bummed about the fact that the forecast looks bad for their vacationSaying “Just be grateful that [XYZ] didn’t happen!” when your partner is sharing something upsetting that happened to themSaying, “Chin up, it’s not that bad!” when your partner is venting about how stressful things are at work\r\nRELATED: How to Recognize Unhealthy Relationship Habits\r\n\r\nWhy Is Toxic Positivity Harmful?\r\n\r\n“Being positive is extremely beneficial for mental health in general,” says KC Hespeler, owner/psychotherapist at Shoreline Therapy. “However, toxic positivity entails dismissing or invalidating the normal, healthy experience and expression of so-called ‘negative emotions’ which are actually very important to feel and process.”\r\nIt’s part of the human experience to be sad, disappointed, frustrated, and angry from time to time. A lot of us aren’t very good at “holding space” for these kinds of emotions, though — even when it comes to those we love. When we see our partner going through these emotions, we have the urge to “fix” them and turn their mood around. \r\nAnd while it may seem harmless to try and respond with positivity, doing so sends the message that it’s not OK for them to feel their feelings. If the goal is to help them move past their pain, then responding with toxic positivity can actually do the opposite, according to Jenny Flora Wells, an associate clinical social worker and holistic therapist. \r\n“Solely trying to think our way out of feeling can make the messages from the body and mind more pronounced in the long run,” she says.\r\nThe main problem with toxic positivity is that it dismisses genuine emotions, says Tse. For this reason, Wells notes that toxic positivity can even come across as gaslighting.\r\n“It can make someone feel like their lived experience isn’t valid,” she tells AskMen. “And when we are invalidated, it can be difficult to connect in the future for fear of being shamed for how we feel.”\r\nTse points out that dismissing your partner’s emotions may leave them feeling unheard, misunderstood, or worse, not cared for. In the future, they may be more likely to hide their true feelings and maintain a facade of happiness. Or, they may begin to develop resentment toward you due to feeling their emotions aren’t valued or respected.\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Communicate Your Needs While Dating\r\nMany of us crave deep connection with our partners, says Wells — which often comes from sharing some of our uncomfortable emotions and experiences.\r\n“If we feel like we can’t share these things with our partner without being told to feel a certain way, it can cut off future chances of fostering that connection together,” she tells AskMen.\r\n\r\nHow to Avoid Toxic Positivity\r\n\r\nIf you notice that you have a tendency to respond to your partner with toxic positivity, here are some expert tips for what to try instead.\r\nFirst, Wells advises asking yourself why you have the impulse to resort to toxic positivity. \r\nIs it because while growing up, your parents never made space for your negative emotions, and somehow sent the message that it’s not OK to feel these feelings? Is it because you lack emotional boundaries, and tend to take on your partner’s feelings — making it uncomfortable for you to sit with them in their sadness or anger? \r\nRELATED: Signs You're in a Co-Dependent Relationship\r\nAs you work toward breaking the habit of toxic positivity, understanding what’s driving it can be helpful.\r\nNext time your partner is sharing a personal difficulty, Hespeler advises asking them:\r\n“What would be most helpful for you right now? Would you like me to suggest a solution or do you just need to vent?”\r\nThat way you avoid making assumptions about what kind of support they’re looking for — and don’t run the risk of accidentally dismissing or downplaying their feelings.\r\n“Aim to provide validation and empathy,” says Huysman. \r\nHere are some examples of alternative, validating responses, according to Tse:\r\n\r\n“It’s OK to feel sad about this — I’m here for you in whatever way you need,” instead of “Just stay positive.”“That sounds really tough, would you like to talk more about it?” instead of “It could have been worse.”“I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” instead of “You’ll be fine.”\r\n\r\nHow to Deal with Toxic Positivity\r\n\r\nOn the other hand, if your partner is the one exhibiting toxic positivity, experts advise being vocal about the fact that their responses aren’t helpful.\r\n“I always recommend the assertiveness script when communicating with our partner,” says Wells. “It helps us to keep a neutral stance and express how we feel versus jumping to accusatory language.”\r\nHere’s the script:\r\n\r\n“I feel [insert emotion: overwhelmed, ignored, disrespected, sad, etc.] when you [example of toxic positivity]. What I need from you is [alternative response or behavior change].”\r\n\r\nThis gentle, non-accusatory approach is far less likely to put them on the defensive. \r\nYou could also acknowledge a time when they did meet your emotional needs rather than resorting to toxic positivity. For example:\r\n\r\n“Hey, I really appreciated it when you patiently listened to me talk about how frustrated I am with my boss right now. Just so you know, that’s just what I needed. I would love it if you could try to keep doing that.”\r\n\r\nThis is called positive reinforcement. Rather than pointing out the behavior you don’t want to see (toxic positivity), you’re highlighting the good behavior you do want more of. There are two benefits to this approach: There’s very little likelihood that your partner will feel attacked (meaning they won’t get defensive), and it can be super motivating.\r\n“You might say something like,\r\n\r\n‘I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate your support, but sometimes, when I'm upset, I just need to feel heard and understood. It would mean a lot if you could just listen and acknowledge my feelings.’”\r\n\r\nadds Huysman. “Ensuring the conversation is non-confrontational and centered on mutual understanding can help your partner see the impact of their words and adjust their approach.”\r\nThe most important thing to remember?\r\n“That no emotion is inherently bad or wrong,” says Hespeler. “They are all important and can teach us about ourselves and the world.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Talk to Women & Communicate EffectivelyVulnerability and Emotional Suppression in MenPsychologist-Approved Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills", "keywords": "What, Toxic, Positivity", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "124", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/what-is-toxic-positivity/askmen-lead-image-template-4-1720641955.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/what-is-toxic-positivity.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:40:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49965", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What You Need to Know About New York’s Equal Rights Amendment", "title_slug": "what-you-need-to-know-about-new-yorks-equal-rights-amendment", "title_hash": "2df6f74ecbd7064efd72f1592c50df9b", "summary": "After being volleyed back and forth by New York judges, the state's Equal Rights Amendment, which would codify abortion rights, is back on the November ballot.\nThe post What You Need to Know About New York’s Equal Rights Amendment appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

In June, a New York appeals court unanimously ruled to keep the Equal Rights Amendment on the November ballot after a state Supreme Court judge had tossed it in May. If voters pass the ERA, the amendment will be added to the state constitution and will offer expansive protections against discrimination based on ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, and sex—inclusive of sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression—and, notably, pregnancy outcomes and reproductive autonomy, among others.

Codifying the ERA to the New York Bill of Rights would be the first time a state constitution explicitly states sex discrimination includes discrimination based on a person’s pregnancy or pregnancy outcome, according to the NYCLU.

New York state Sen. Elizabeth Krueger, who co-sponsored the bill in 2022, has worked to bring the ERA to voters for the past five years. She told Rewire News Group the ERA could have been put on the 2023 ballot, but she decided to wait for the 2024 presidential election, which is expected to have a much higher voter turnout.

“We need this to pass because, as we have learned, state by state, we’re all under attack,” Krueger said. “Each state is gonna have to go down their road alone, because we’re not going to be able to count on the federal system.”

Krueger said she will lead a virtual presentation closer to the election to help educate voters about the ERA.

The process of enshrining these protections in the state constitution began with both chambers of the state legislature passing the ERA in two consecutive sessions. The state senate and assembly voted to pass the amendment on July 1, 2022, and again on January 24, 2023. The decision to place the ERA on the ballot was challenged in early May 2024 by state Supreme Court Justice Daniel Doyle, a Republican who issued a lawsuit in Livingston County in western New York.

Andrew Taverrite, communications director and senior adviser for New Yorkers for Equal Rights, a ballot initiative committee made up of civil and reproductive rights organizations advocating for the ERA’s passage, said Doyle’s decision wasn’t surprising, given that the anti-abortion movement is doing everything it can to block ballot measures that protect abortion rights.

“Anti-abortion politicians have been working in courthouses across the country to use the judiciary to take away power from the people, blocking abortion access, blocking reproductive freedoms,” Taverrite said. “They went judge shopping. They wanted to ensure that New Yorkers didn’t even have a chance to vote on this amendment come November.”

Attorney General Letitia James’ office appealed Doyle’s decision, and a panel of judges from a New York appeals court heard the case. The judges said those who filed to block the ERA missed the deadline to bring a lawsuit, and it reinstated the measure to the ballot on June 18.

“It’s critical that the voters vote yes on the New York Equal Rights Amendment because we need to close those loopholes in the state constitution.”

– Bonyen Lee-Gilmore, vice president of communications at the National Institutes for Reproductive Health

Currently, New York’s state constitution only protects against racial and religious discrimination, and all other state measures to protect equal rights are at the whim of who’s in office. ERA protections would be able to withstand any future changes to political leanings in the state government.

Bonyen Lee-Gilmore, vice president of communications at the National Institutes for Reproductive Health—one of the organizations within New Yorkers for Equal Rights—said conservative lawmakers’ attacks against the ERA show that they believe their agenda is counter to what voters actually want.

“It’s very telling that they don’t want voters to go to the ballot and they don’t want voters having a say in what their state can and can’t protect,” Lee-Gilmore said. “We don’t want to leave our rights and freedoms up to the changing political winds. … It’s critical that the voters vote yes on the New York Equal Rights Amendment because we need to close those loopholes in the state constitution.”

In a recent Politico article, ERA opponents were quoted saying that the amendment could weaken statutory rape laws, let minors receive gender-affirming health care without parental consent, and allow minors to purchase age-restricted products like alcohol, among other age-related arguments. Lee-Gilmore said the ERA will not have those effects and that these scare tactics are all disinformation.

“They want to confuse people,” Lee-Gilmore said. “They want to go after people’s fears, and any sort of misconceptions that people might hold about health care, reproductive health care, gender-affirming care, all of that.”

Krueger said the disinformation campaign against the ERA is the biggest challenge to getting the amendment passed by voters.

“They’re going down that road because they know that in New York state, they can’t win a fight saying, ‘We don’t want abortion,’” Krueger said. “So while they’re pretending this isn’t really about abortion, the money is all coming from the anti-choice funding community.”

Leading up to the November election, New Yorkers for Equal Rights is working with 270 groups across the state to build support for the ERA among voters, according to Taverrite.

“We have broad support across partisan lines [and] ideological lines,” Taverrite said. “That’s not something you see every day, and it’s something we’re really excited about. So we’re going to be getting out to speak to all New Yorkers across the state, making sure they know that their rights and fundamental freedoms are on the ballot in November, and to get people to vote yes.”

The post What You Need to Know About New York’s Equal Rights Amendment appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, You, Need, Know, About, New, York’s, Equal, Rights, Amendment", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/NYs-ERA-Web-01.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/03/what-you-need-to-know-about-new-yorks-equal-rights-amendment/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:24:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49964", "lang_id": "1", "title": "SCOTUS Wants Theocratic Courts to Rule the Country", "title_slug": "scotus-wants-theocratic-courts-to-rule-the-country", "title_hash": "507508f0233b4c17fde7308f0ca3a09c", "summary": "In overturning Chevron v. NRDC, the Supreme Court pickpocketed power from Congress.\nThe post SCOTUS Wants Theocratic Courts to Rule the Country appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

“One side or the other is going to win.”

That’s what Justice Samuel Alito told journalist Lauren Windsor last month at a black-tie event at the Supreme Court Historical Society in Washington, D.C.

“It’s difficult for the two sides to live peacefully together since there are differences about fundamental things that really can’t be compromised,” Alito continued.

We all know the issues that matter to Alito—the issues that can’t be compromised on. Hell, his wife Martha-Ann made it clear to us what they despise: having to stare at a Pride flag that sits across the lagoon from their summer home where their “Appeal to Heaven” Christian nationalist flag flies. So you can bet your sweet cheeks that for Alito, there will be no compromise when it comes to abortion. Or to trans women in women’s sports. Or to bathrooms. Or to gender-affirming care. Or to disability accommodations. Or to environmental regulations. He will happily force the most vulnerable people in this country to place their neck right under Christian nationalism’s steel-toed boot.

So the fact that last month, the Supreme Court anointed itself the overlord of the entire administrative state by overruling the critical 1984 case Chevron v. Natural Resources Defense Council should induce panic in everyone who thinks agency experts should be the ones to resolve ambiguities in Congressional statutes enacted to create those very agencies.

Because despite the keening from conservatives about how awful the Chevron doctrine is, that’s all Chevron did: It laid out the simple rule that in the case of an ambiguous statute relating to how a federal agency does its business, it’s the federal agency—not courts—that should resolve the ambiguity, because agencies have expertise in the subject matter that courts don’t.

For 40 years, Chevron required a two-part framework for reviewing an agency’s interpretation of a statute that Congress charged it with administering. First, a court must exhaust all the ordinary tools courts use when they try to interpret a statute. These tools include looking at the plain language of the statute and divining Congress’ intent by examining legislative history. If, after this rigorous inquiry, the statute is still ambiguous, the Chevron doctrine then requires courts to back off and let the agency interpret the statute.

But this is no longer the case. According to Chief Justice John Roberts’ majority opinion in Loper Bright Enterprises v. Raimondo, “Chevron’s presumption is misguided because agencies have no special competence in resolving statutory ambiguities. Courts do.”

Not according to Justice Elena Kagan, who ripped into Roberts in her dissent.

Kagan listed example after example of the types of statutory ambiguities that courts will now be required to parse through. “The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulates ‘biological products,’ including ‘proteins,’” Kagan wrote. “When does an alpha amino acid polymer qualify as such a ‘protein’?”

Or take the Endangered Species Act, for example. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service “must designate endangered ‘vertebrate fish or wildlife’ species, including ‘distinct population segments of those species,’” she wrote.

“But what makes one population segment ‘distinct’ from another?” Kagan continued. “Must the Service treat the Washington State population of western gray squirrels as ‘distinct’ because it is geographically separated from other western gray squirrels? Or can the Service take into account that the genetic makeup of the Washington population does not differ markedly from the rest.”

These are questions that should be answered by the FDA and Fish and Wildlife Services, respectively.

Not John Roberts. And not Samuel Alito.

But Chevron is dead now. If a particular statute isn’t clear, experts—who are familiar with the subject matter of a statute in ways that courts cannot possibly be—are no longer going to be the people who determine how that statute should be interpreted.

As Kagan noted in her dissent referring back to her FDA example, she doesn’t know what an alpha amino acid polymer is. So why should she be the one to determine how the FDA should regulate them? Or when it comes to determining which squirrel population is distinct from another and therefore warrants protection, courts could maybe, as Kagan wrote, “muddle through that issue and announce a result.” But it makes more sense for the scientists at the Fish and Wildlife Service to do it, since they are the squirrel experts.

Overruling Chevron was a long time coming. Conservatives have loathed the administrative state for a while now. It’s a bureaucracy whose many tentacles reach into every aspect of our lives. That in and of itself is not a problem for conservatives since, despite claiming they prefer a small government that leaves its citizens to do whatever they want, they still want the government to control the reproductive autonomy of every person in this country capable of becoming pregnant. But generally, conservatives have viewed the administrative state as too subject to the political whims of the electorate who have a hand in agency appointments, through the representatives they elect to appoint various agency heads. Conservatives would rather maintain a stranglehold on every federal agency all the time—to the extent it doesn’t want to end those agencies’ existence—even when Republicans don’t have control of Congress or the White House.

This wasn’t always true. Once upon a time, conservatives feigned concern over liberal activist judges and viewed the Chevron doctrine as a way to make sure that those activist judges didn’t become policymakers. But then 2016 happened. And by the time Donald Trump was finished reshaping the federal judiciary in the image of Leonard Leo and the Federalist Society, agency expertise suddenly became insufficient when it comes to interpreting ambiguities in a statute.

The Supreme Court has just arrogated to itself the power to interpret statutes in whatever way it wants, as long as it can find some ambiguity in the statute.

Over the last half decade, the Supreme Court has used the available arrows in its quiver to curtail agency power and hand big wins to corporations so that corporations can force you to breathe polluted air—Environmental Protection Agency regulations be damned—or strip you of your right to contraception coverage in your health insurance plans, never mind what U.S. Department of Health and Human Services regulations require.

One such arrow is the major questions doctrine, which says that courts can reject agency interpretation of ambiguous statutes on “major questions” unless Congress has clearly authorized the court to accept the agency’s interpretation.

But what does that even mean? What’s a major question? I’ll tell you: It’s anything of national political or economic significance. And if that sounds impossibly vague to you, well, that’s the point. The major questions doctrine has allowed the Supreme Court to declare anything a major question and then take interpretive power out of federal agencies’ hands and put it in its own pocket. (In two cases over the last five years involving COVID-19 regulations, the Supreme Court has deployed the major questions doctrine to avoid letting the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention impose an eviction moratorium during lockdown and to avoid letting the Occupational Safety and Health Administration require their employees to be tested and vaccinated for COVID-19.) In this way, the Supreme Court has been a reliable ally of corporations who oppose regulatory restrictions and an ally of conservatives writ large who have been champing at the bit to gut the administrative state.

But the Supreme Court has no more need for the major questions doctrine. In the largest power grab since Marbury v. Madison—the 1803 case in which the justices up and decided for themselves that they were going to review and strike down acts of Congress—the Supreme Court has just arrogated to itself the power to interpret statutes in whatever way it wants, as long as it can find some ambiguity in the statute.

Congress has just been fleeced.

Setting aside concerns about clean water, breathable air, and safe drugs, Loper Bright Enterprises is a stunning ruling that will have dramatic consequences for the same civil and human rights that conservatives have been gunning for.

Many of the statutes that relate to the issues most central to reproductive justice are ambiguous. When Title VII was enacted, gender identity wasn’t a consideration. Neither was sexual orientation. Same with Title IX. But through guidance documents and regulations, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and Department of Education have interpreted these statutes to protect, for example, trans people from being fired from their jobs for being trans. Or to protect trans students’ right to use the bathroom that aligns with their gender identity.

When it comes to trans kids, both the Obama and Biden administrations have done a lot of forward-thinking rulemaking. That can now all be undone by Alito and his five cohorts on the bench. As Elie Mystal put it in the Nation:

Indeed.

And when it comes to certain loudmouth justices who believe, in their own words, “one side or the other is going to win,” it becomes clear that there is a very real danger of Supreme Court justices finding ambiguity in any statute they want to now that they have made it their responsibility—and only their responsibility—to sort out those ambiguities, rather than allowing agency experts to do so.

So Sam Alito? This is your time. I can’t wait for you to interpret Title IX to require schoolteachers to deadname their students.

The post SCOTUS Wants Theocratic Courts to Rule the Country appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Perhaps prior to conservatives putting the Supreme Court in a headlock, hearing that the Court is taking up United States v. Skrmetti, the case challenging Tennessee’s gender-affirming care ban for minors, might be welcome news. With the Roberts Court, though, it doesn’t bode well.

Certainly the law in this arena could use clarification, as federal appeals courts have come to different conclusions—one of the usual reasons the Supreme Court takes a case. The 11th Circuit, in ruling on Alabama’s ban, ruled as the Sixth Circuit did in Skrmetti, upholding a ban on gender-affirming care. The Seventh Circuit let Indiana’s ban go into effect earlier this year. Arkansas’ ban is proceeding through the Eighth Circuit after being permanently enjoined by a lower court last year. There are federal district court cases in multiple states, and 19 states have passed similar laws restricting gender-affirming care.

Going to the Supreme Court is dicey. The Court has proven itself eager to impose a narrow evangelical morality on the country, and this gives them the chance to do so. The alternative is also bad—a continual churn of conservative states banning gender-affirming care, requiring a whack-a-mole litigation strategy across multiple jurisdictions. So, the government asked the Court to decide nationwide whether Tennessee’s law violates the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment.

The text of that clause, which forbids the government from “deny[ing] to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws,” does not mention sex or gender. However, for decades, the Supreme Court has held that it applies heightened scrutiny to “distinctions based on gender.” Put another way, Supreme Court precedent requires the government to show an “exceedingly persuasive justification” for laws that discriminate based on sex or gender or it will determine the law violates the equal protection clause.

The Tennessee law prohibits the use of gender-affirming care such as puberty blockers and hormones for minors, but not for everyone. It only bans their use for “enabling a minor to identify with, or live as, a purported identity inconsistent with the minor’s sex or treating purported discomfort or distress from a discordance between the minor’s sex and asserted identity.” Someone who is assigned male at birth couldn’t receive puberty blockers or estrogen as part of their transition process, but someone assigned female at birth could receive those same drugs for conditions such as precocious puberty, where puberty begins as early as 8 years old.

Here’s where the core of this fight comes in. Ultimately, this case isn’t just grounded in the conservative legislative project of destroying access to gender-affirming care—it’s also grounded in the conservative judicial project of unwinding the Court’s holding in Bostock v. Clayton County. There, the Court held that firing someone for being gay or transgender violates Title VII, which bans discrimination on the basis of sex. Bostock also contains a broader holding, finding “it is impossible to discriminate against a person for being homosexual or transgender without discriminating against that individual based on sex.”

Conservative courts have tried very hard to ignore the broader holding of Bostock. In Bear Creek Bible Church v. EEOC, right-wing fan favorite Texas Judge Reed O’Connor ruled that Bostock did not bar an employer from imposing sex-specific dress codes or requiring employees to use the bathroom that corresponds to their sex assigned at birth. Federal judges in Oklahoma and the 11th Circuit declined to extend Bostock to the situation here—a prohibition on gender-affirming care.

The appeals court in Skrmetti also ignored Bostock‘s broader holding, refusing to extend it to equal protection claims. The Tennessee law, therefore, only needed to survive a rational basis review, the most deferential. This means the government only needs a legitimate state interest rather than an exceedingly persuasive justification.

The state interest the Sixth Circuit found to be legitimate was that Tennessee has a compelling “interest in encouraging minors to appreciate their sex” and in prohibiting procedures “that might encourage minors to become disdainful of their sex.” That vague interest must be weighed against the real-life explicit, irreversible, and well-documented harm that transgender children denied gender-affirming medical care suffer. Adolescents forced to endure gender dysphoria and the permanent physical changes puberty brings can experience “depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, self-harm, and suicidality.” Further, there is a consensus among major medical organizations that the gender-affirming care banned by Tennessee is the appropriate way to treat gender dysphoria in minors.

In a rational world, before conservatives got a supermajority on the Court, this case would be a no-brainer. First, the Court would not simply discard its own broad holding from Bostock. Next, an amorphous statement about making minors “appreciate their sex” could not possibly stack up to the level of harm experienced by children experiencing dysphoria and that there are no genuine medical concerns about such treatment.

But these days, we have a Court that has run roughshod over precedent in its eagerness to give religious conservatives everything they want. It’s also a Court dominated by a deep cruelty. The conservative justices have used their vast power to dismiss the needs of those who can get pregnant, same-sex couples, and the unhoused, just for a start. They’ve shown no hesitation in allowing bigotry to drive their decisions.

However, there’s no other possible path forward to advance the interests of minors needing gender-affirming care than taking a chance and putting it before the Court. It’s the most slender reed, but it’s all trans kids have.

The post Any Other Supreme Court Would Protect Trans Kids appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Any, Other, Supreme, Court, Would, Protect, Trans, Kids", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "106", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/SCOTUS-look-on-Skrmetti-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/08/any-other-supreme-court-would-protect-trans-kids/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:24:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49962", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What the Media Missed in the Republican Platform Debacle", "title_slug": "what-the-media-missed-in-the-republican-platform-debacle", "title_hash": "c69608211af546bba273ccc14b5b209f", "summary": "The GOP propaganda machine is on overdrive.\nThe post What the Media Missed in the Republican Platform Debacle appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Republicans released their party platform in preparation for next week’s Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, and most media coverage got it dangerously wrong.

Pundits had been expecting the platform to include some kind of national abortion ban—likely a 15-week ban, since that had been the GOP position the party publicly coalesced around. What Republicans delivered instead was a radical embrace of fetal “personhood,” a complete adoption of Trumpian double-speak on abortion and further proof that overturning Roe v. Wade was part of their larger authoritarian playbook.

Instead of embracing some specific nationwide abortion ban, Republicans are set to adopt a platform at their convention that embraces “life” under the 14th Amendment. This is a very clear signal to states to proceed with total abortion bans and their own declarations that life begins at conception—like Alabama has via its state supreme court.

It also suggests congressional Republicans will move forward again with the Life at Conception Act, which would open the door for a personhood-curious Roberts Court to usher in a national abortion ban—one that includes banning in vitro fertilization and most forms of contraception via judicial fiat. The bill had 131 co-sponsors last legislative go-round.

Just because the platform doesn’t say “national abortion ban” doesn’t mean the platform doesn’t have a national abortion ban baked into it.

You’d never know how radical the Republican position on abortion is, though, if you followed any of the national coverage on the platform rollout. By their accounts, Republicans have moderated on the issue, likely given the massive electoral backlash they’ve faced since overturning Roe. This is journalistic malpractice. As is uncritically reporting that the GOP platform promises to support access to birth control and IVF, despite multiple immediate threats to the contrary. That includes Project 2025’s plan to reanimate the Comstock Act to ban or restrict all sorts of reproductive health care, including contraception.

The media getting the GOP platform radicalization on abortion wrong is part of the larger problem of the media getting the entire radicalization of the conservative movement wrong. The Supreme Court just pulled off one of the greatest power grabs and constitutional heists for conservatives in history, one so big it threatens democracy itself. And it’s all possible thanks in large part to a media willing to play along.

The post What the Media Missed in the Republican Platform Debacle appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, the, Media, Missed, the, Republican, Platform, Debacle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Fallout_RNC_-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/07/11/what-the-media-missed-in-the-republican-platform-debacle/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-12 10:24:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49397", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Inside Out 2 and Emotion Coaching", "title_slug": "inside-out-2-and-emotion-coaching", "title_hash": "53df5202ece873999dbbe81246aa1cbb", "summary": "Gottman's emotion coaching is brought to life in the movie Inside Out 2.\nThe post Inside Out 2 and Emotion Coaching appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Gottman's emotion coaching is brought to life in the movie Inside Out 2.

The post Inside Out 2 and Emotion Coaching appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Inside, Out, and, Emotion, Coaching", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/GettyImages-1131291579-EDIT_2500x1667_v2.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/inside-out-2-and-emotion-coaching/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-10 06:17:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49396", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Be Kind When You’re Upset With Your Partner", "title_slug": "how-to-be-kind-when-youre-upset-with-your-partner", "title_hash": "9aa18448f993b39ba9bf91a91c7ca02b", "summary": "Kindness is not just important in the heat of an argument. \nThe post How to Be Kind When You’re Upset With Your Partner appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Kindness is not just important in the heat of an argument.

The post How to Be Kind When You’re Upset With Your Partner appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "How, Kind, When, You’re, Upset, With, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "104", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/How-to-Be-Kind-When-You%E2%80%99re-Upset-With-Your-Partner_HI.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-be-kind-when-youre-upset-with-your-partner/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-10 06:16:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49395", "lang_id": "1", "title": "IMPORTANCE OF BREA$T TO MEN", "title_slug": "importance-of-breat-to-men", "title_hash": "1eea3311ca43a2685308500337883d77", "summary": "Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women’s chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men’s curious brea$t fixation, but theorists are gonna theorize. So let’s take a tour of the $exy speculation surrounding the human bosom — with a few stops to explain why it’s […]", "content": " $\"IMPORTANCE$

Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women’s chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men’s curious brea$t fixation, but theorists are gonna theorize. So let’s take a tour of the $exy speculation surrounding the human bosom — with a few stops to explain why it’s so hard to figure out just why brea$ts hold such allure.

Mammary glands are a defining feature of mammals, but humans seem unique in granting mammaries a large $exual role. That’s not to say interest in nipple$ is entirely unheard of elsewhere in the animal kingdom: In the book “Biological Exuberance: Animal Homo$exuality and Natural Diversity” (Stonewall Inn Editions, 1999), Canadian biologist Bruce Bagemihl notes that a couple of primate species, including humanity’s close relative the bonobo, have been seen stimulating their own nipple$ while ma$turbating. Still, few mammals other than humans mate face-to-face (the behavior makes headlines when seen in the wild), so nip-ple stimulation isn’t generally part of the script.

\n\n

Researchers have long speculated that humans evolved the fatty deposits around the female mammary glands for $exual reasons. Anthropologist Owen Lovejoy argued that evolution put a bull’s-eye around both female and male reproductive organs in order to promote pair bonding. In this hypothesis, it wasn’t just the female brea$t that got a lift; men acquired relatively large peni$es for their body size, too. [Why Do Women Have Brea$t$?]

Another long-standing theory holds that brea$t$ evolved as a way to signal to men that the woman attached to them was nutritionally advantaged and youthful — and thus, a promising mate. Studies finding that men prefer large brea$ts and a high waist-to-hip ratio bolster the notion that an hourglass shape communicates youth and fertility. A 2004 study in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B even found that women with large brea$ts have higher levels of the hormone estradiol mid-cycle, which could increase fertility.

Nature or nurture?

But there are pitfalls to this line of work. For one thing, it’s not actually clear that brea$ts are universally adored. In a 1951 study of 191 cultures, anthropologist Clellan Ford and ethologist Frank Beach reported that brea$ts were considered $exually important to men in 13 of those cultures. Of those, nine cultures preferred large brea$ts. Two — the Azande and Ganda of Africa — found long, pendulous brea$ts most attractive. Another two — the Maasai of Africa and Manus of the South Pacific — liked brea$ts that were upright and “hemispherical,” but not necessarily large. Thirteen cultures also reported breast simulation during $ex, but only three of those overlapped with the societies where men reported finding breasts important for $exual attraction.

More From Lively Stones: 11 New Ways to Stimulate Your Partner’s Clitoris

In a chapter in the book “Brea$tfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives” (Aldine de Gruyter, 1995), cultural anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler describes telling friends in Mali about $exual foreplay involving brea$ts and getting responses ranging from “bemu$ed to h0rrified.”

“In any case, they regarded it as unnatural, perverted behavior, and found it difficult to believe that men would become $exually aroused by women’s breasts, or that women would find such activities pleasurable,” Dettwyler wrote.

In the cultural view, men aren’t so much biologically drawn to brea$ts as trained from an early age to find them er0tic.

“Obviously, humans can learn to view brea$t$s as $exually attractive. We can learn to prefer long, pendulous brea$ts, or upright, hemispherical breat$ts. We can learn to prefer large brea$ts,” Dettwyler wrote. [The 7 Biggest Mysteries of the Human Body]

Even if there is some biological underpinning for an interest in bosoms, it might vary by culture. A 2011 study compared men’s preferences for brea$t size, symmetry, and areola size and color in Papua New Guina, Samoa and New Zealand and found that men from Papua New Guinea preferred larger brea$ts than men from the other two islands. Because the men surveyed from Papua New Guinea hailed from more of a subsistence culture than the men in Samoa or New Zealand, the results support the idea that in places of scarcity, padded bustlines could signal a well-fed woman with reserves for pregnancy and childrearing, the researchers wrote. Areola size and color preferences were highly idiosyncratic between cultures.

$exual sideshow?

The main job of brea$ts, of course, is to feed offspring. Some researchers think that $exual interest in brea$ts simply hijacks the brea$tfeeding circuitry and uses it for another purpose.

Larry Young, a professor of psychiatry at Emory University who studies the neurological basis of complex social behaviors, thinks human evolution has harnessed an ancient neural circuit that originally evolved to strengthen the mother-infant bond during brea$tfeeding, and now uses this brain circuitry to strengthen the bond between couples as well. The result? Men, like babies, love brea$ts.

When a woman’s nipple$ are stimulated during brea$tfeeding, the neurochemical oxytocin, otherwise known as the “love drug,” floods her brain, helping to focus her attention and affection on her baby. But research over the past few years has shown that in humans, this circuitry isn’t reserved exclusively for infants. [The Cleavage Countdown: 8 Facts About Brea$ts]

Recent studies have found that nipple stimulation enhances $exual arousal in the great majority of women, and it activates the same brain areas as vag!nal and clit0ral stimulation. When a $exual partner touches, massages or nibble$ a woman’s brea$ts, Young said, this triggers the release of oxytocin in the woman’s brain, just like what happens when a baby nurses. But in this context, the oxytocin focuses the woman’s attention on her $exual partner, strengthening her desire to bond with this person.

In other words, men can make themselves more desirable by stimulating a woman’s brea$ts during foreplay and $ex. Evolution has, in a sense, made men want to do this. According to Young, the theory “just makes a lot of sense.” Young elaborated on the theory in his book, “The Chemistry Between Us” (Current Hardcover, 2012), co-authored by Brian Alexander.

Attraction to brea$ts “is a brain organization effect that occurs in straight males when they go through puberty,” Young told Live Science. “Evolution has selected for this brain organization in men that makes them attracted to the breasts in a $exual context, because the outcome is that it activates the female bonding circuit, making women feel more bonded with him. It’s a behavior that males have evolved in order to stimulate the female’s maternal bonding circuitry.” [Why Do Men Have Nipple$]

So, why did this evolutionary change happen in humans, and not in other breastfeeding mammals? Young thinks it’s because we form monogamous relationships, whereas 97 percent of mammals do not. “Secondly, it might have to do with the fact that we are upright and have face-to-face $ex, which provides more opportunity for nipple stimulation during $ex. In monogamous voles, for example, the nipple$ are hanging toward the ground and the voles mate from behind, so this didn’t evolve,” he said. “So, maybe the nature of our $exuality has allowed greater access to the brea$ts.”

Young said competing theories of men’s brea$t fixation don’t stand up to scrutiny. For example, the argument that men tend to select full-brea$ted women because they think these women’s brea$t fat will make them better at nourishing babies falls short when one considers that “$perm is cheap” compared with eggs, and men don’t need to be cho0sy.

But like any evolutionary explanation for brea$ts, Young’s theory runs into cultural controversy.

“Always important whenever evolutionary biologists suggest a universal reason for a behavior and emotion: how about the cultural differences?” Rutgers University anthropologist Fran Mascia-Lees wrote in an email to Live Science.

Young responded that there are not enough studies looking at brea$t stimulation during foreplay across cultures to rule out the importance of the n!pple-oxytocin bonding l00p. Notably, men often like n!pple stimulation, too. A 2006 study published in the Journal of $exual Medicine found that in a sample of undergraduate men in the United Kingdom, 51.7 percent found n!pple stimulation arousing. About 82 percent of women said the same. Male nipple$ are a vestige of prenatal development in men, but they are h00ked up to nerves and blood vessels, just like female nipple$.

More From Lively Stones: Learn How To Give Your Spouse Multiple Orgasms

However, less is known about the innervation of nipple$ in men, studies on how n!pple stimulation contributes to their $exual arousal are lacking, the researchers wrote. Perhaps the real quandary isn’t why the female brea$t is so feti$h!zed, but why we don’t ask more questions about what’s on men’s chests.

JOKES

1: it serve as a relaxation pillow to men $\"",$ $\"Its$

Its Wedding Season: #Crazyaboutus2024-Nigerian Actress Sharon Ooja Shut Down Internet with Wedding-See Pics & Videos

It is wedding season among some celebrities in Nigeria. Just days after the much talked about wedding of Davido and Chioma (click here to read), another celebrity and Sharon Oja has taken over the internet with her traditional and church wedding pictures and videos since Thursday.

Today is the final white or church wedding and Sharon is already exchanging vows with her husband, Uche Nwoke, at the National Ecumenical Center in Abuja today June 29.

Click below to see the stunning videos and pictures;

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True Life Story: Our Marriage Separated Two Years Ago But My Husband Refused To Grant A Divorce

Dear Lively Stones,

Please I need your advice on this issue. I met my husband about seven years ago but we have been separated for almost two years. When I met him, he was a broke single dad with a 2 year old son. The mother of the boy left him cos she got married to someone else who was richer. Ever since I met my husband, its not been easy financially. Infact, my family discouraged me from marrying him cos he was not financially stable. He is a painter and collects contracts to paint peoples estate or buildings, the money was really never adequate but I fell in love with him cos I thought he was a good and honest man.

Due to the fact that I know I can work, I never really bothered about the financial situation but after we got married, my husband became conscious that he married a good looking woman who many wondered how he was able to get me. The many comments people made about our marriage, made him become suspicious of my every move. I don’t blame him…I am a well endowed woman and I work hard and if I dont tell you, you will think my husband was taking good care of us but I work hard to grow my okrika business.

However, after that covid year, my business began to go down, price of dollars affecting everything, importing okrika market was not as it used to be. So my husband convinced me to open a restaurant in one of these estates. I spent heavy money on renting a shop and setting up but the food business was not moving much. I was making sales but my customers were always buying on credit and my family was feeding off my shop too.

The many male customers at the shop made my husband upset cos whenever he sees men coming to my shop, he gets jealous. I wont lie, men and yansh are like flies to sugar. I had to cover up most times like a muslim cos my husband felt insecure by the male attention around me. Worse, some of his friends were coming after me. I reported one of them to him, instead of him to talk to the friend, he said I should shut down the shop. For the sake of peace, I shut down the shop and started doing POS in 2022.

My husband got an accident in that late 2022….we spent all we had treating him until there was nothing again, we had to take him home for local treatment. My husband wanted me to stay back in the village with him but that would not be good for the family cos its in Lagos we can hustle to keep family alive. I left for Lagos and have been sending money to my husband from the city. I visit as often as I can.

My husband got better but refused to come back to Lagos. He instead insisted I return. By this time, I was making enough money to cater for the family and there was no way I can make that kind of money in the village. Since I refused to return, my husband took another wife in the village. That really broke my heart. I cried and cried. Everyone said to return to him in the village but as I was thinking about it, I heard the wife was pregnant, that made me change my mind and instead, I asked him if he wants a divorce, he said no. My family also did not support my divorce.

So since 2022, my husband has been in the village…we only see him when I travel for December with the kids including his own son from his ex that is being raised by me with my own children. Its been two years….this long distance marriage is not ok for me….I am lonely here in Lagos and need a man in my life. Men tend to want to take advantage when they see a woman without a husband. Something terrible happened to me.

I asked my family to return my bride price so we can move on with my life. My husband has told everyone that its because I am sleeping with men in Lagos, that is why I don’t want to come back to the village with him. My husband’s family is saying before they can collect the bride price, I must come back home to swear that I did not sleep with any man since my husband left Lagos. I would have not minded to swear but one of my husband’s friend r@ped me in March of this year. Yes, he did…I never told anyone cos I did not want my husband to know…he would not believe I was r@ped….because he already told me to return back to the village and I refused.

In March last year, I had borrowed this man, who pretended to be a good friend to my husband, I respected him…so I borrowed him 100k from my business and he promised to pay a week later but he later kept giving excuses. After many promises, he told me to come collect the money in his office. I went and he offered me a drink which I believe I did not know that he has spiked, I did not remember anything that happened but as I gained consciousness, I felt a sharp head ache…I knew this man had his way with me.

In horror, I asked him why, he said he knew I needed a man to handle me since my husband was not around…that he knows I am s3x starved…I was so scared and all I wanted to do was run away. That man has never paid me back till today, anytime I text him about the money, he ask me to come and collect it. And I know what that means, so I left the money with him.

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So going home to swear my loyalty to my husband scares me. I have not being unfaithful but a man has slept with me without my permission….No one except me and that man knows what happened. But what if that comes up if I swear? I know I should have reported the man but I was scared people will not believe that a grown up woman with children can be r%ped. Everyone would think I actually slept with him for money, maybe the 100k I gave him was me actually begging him for money.

I want to be free if my husband, he has his new wife now…why cant I move with mine? Why must I swear my fidelity that was taken away from me? Please advise me, how do I go about this?

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Our, Marriage, Separated, Two, Years, Ago, But, Husband, Refused, Grant, Divorce", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "148", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Marriage-Separated.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-our-marriage-separated-two-years-ago-but-my-husband-refused-to-grant-a-divorce/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-10 06:16:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49392", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: Do I Tell My Friend That Both Of Us Have Feelings For The Same Guy?", "title_slug": "true-life-story-do-i-tell-my-friend-that-both-of-us-have-feelings-for-the-same-guy", "title_hash": "0fb8b39edb3e5c5f4f2a12abf09aa6a6", "summary": "True Life Story: Do I Tell My Friend That Both Of Us Have Feelings For The Same Guy? Dear Lively Stones, My hands are shaking as I write this story. For the sake of transparency, let me say that I am not proud of what I am about to say because I have never fallen […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: Do I Tell My Friend That Both Of Us Have Feelings For The Same Guy?

Dear Lively Stones,

My hands are shaking as I write this story. For the sake of transparency, let me say that I am not proud of what I am about to say because I have never fallen for a guy like this before. But I am at an emotional cross road right now, I just need advise on what to do. So, a few months ago, my colleague and I shared an in drive trip with this guy, we got talking during the trip and got to know that he has a car but his car was at mechanic that day. We all exchanged numbers and since that time, we started joining this guy after work, when ever he brought his car to work.

My colleague and this guy flirted alot but I know my colleague has a fiancé while I was single. To be sincere, I liked the guy too but he seemed to have more interest in my colleague than me. Maybe cos she looks prettier than me. And of course, whenever they could, they started hooking up. I tried to ask my colleague why she was hooking up with someone when she is engaged, she would tell me that she cant help herself, that the guy seduces her and she cant help but fall for him.

Anyway, I left them have their parole, after all, they are both adults. This continued until last week, my friend went on leave and it was only me that was joining this guy after work. I was sure he never paid attention to me until a few days ago when it rained heavily and we were stuck in traffic trying to get home. Because we were in traffic for long, we had to start gisting really comfortably. Then he asked me if I wanted to stop by at his place, to have a weather for two time out since it was a rainy night.

I told him straight that I was not stopping cos I know he and my colleague are hooking up. He laughed and said, are you jealous, we are just having fun. Besides, your friend is engaged, so she can’t be angry if he is seeing anyone. That made me agree to stop by at his place. Maybe because I have been single for so long but getting to this guy’s beautiful apartment, I was already getting wet. This guy was so romantic, he gave me his oversize shirt, asked me to shower while he made noodles for dinner.

After we ate, he went down to business and started foreplay that I have only experienced in movies. Now, I understood what my colleague was saying about she fell hard for him. This guy is a lover. He knew tricks and before we got to the main business, I had already had an orgasm. Things happened that night. I could not even bring myself to say I wanted to go home that night…it was from his place we both dressed to work.

The next day was Friday, after work…we spent the night in his place again. I started being in my feelings. I asked why he was not in a steady relationship and he was like, he has not found any woman that meets his expectations. That most girls always throw themselves at him but he wants a girl who is not carried away by his charms or material things. I was like, this guy must be thinking am too easy to sleep with him.

The next day which was Saturday, I went back to my place in the morning. I could not stop thinking about him. And he too, couldn’t stop thinking of me cos eh called me in the evening to come over. But I was already feeling shy, like I gave myself too easy to him, so even though I wanted to say yes, I said no. He kept calling and texting on Sunday too, I still said no.

On Monday, my colleague resumed work. After closing, we both joined Jason (the guy’s name) in his car and boy the silence was so awkward, only my friend was talking, trying to flirt but Jason ignored her. She wanted to go to his place but he told her no, that he was busy that evening. That evening, Funtola, my colleague called me to ask if I noticed that Jason was ignoring us, I said I did not notice. Meanwhile, Jason was texting and calling to know why I was refusing to see him, if he did or said anything wrong cos he is sorry and cant stop thinking about me.

To avoid Jason, I decided to stop following his ride after work, I took public transport. Imagine my shock when I was at home a few hours later, Jason called that he was in my estate and that I should call security to let him in…….I was shocked but I wanted to know how serious he was if he could come to my estate. So he came, I sat in his car and he kept saying he was sorry if he said or did anything to upset me.

Then I told him that he made me feel like I gave in to him too easy and made me feel cheap, besides, I knew he was sleeping with my colleague and she is back now. Jason apologized and said he was wrong for saying those cheap things to me but since I have been avoiding him, he has not been himself. He said he wanted us to be steady, that he likes the fact that I am a regular girl and not a baddie like my colleague.

Like play, we gisted for almost 4 hours in his car. Then I invited him my apartment. We made out and I really wanted him so bad but I also did not want to seem like a baddie so I told him to stop, lets take things slow. He agreed, he left my place a few minutes to 12am. He called me when he got home and we talked until it was 3am before we both slept off. The next day at work, Funtola came to tell me that she got feels Jason is dodging her cos he sent a message to her that he is no longer bringing his car to work, so he cant give her a lift anymore.

Funtola said she just broke up with her fiancé cos she wanted to focus on Jason. She was asking my advise, that she wants to go to Jason’s place after work, to tell him that she broke up with her guy so they can be together. She said she has to go to Jason’s place cos noticed Jason has blocked her. Funtola was asking for my advise, on what to do. That is why I am shaking…cos I know why Jason does not want to see Funtola anymore…its because of me…

My issue now is….when Funtola finds hut…how will she react? To know that she broke off her engagement for Jason but Jason does not want her but me? I told Funtola to go back to her fiancé but she said she is in love with Jason. Now, I told Jason and Jason has been hiding in my place after work so that Funtola will not come to his place. The next day, I see how Funtola is heartbroken cos she is missing Jason…I feel terrible for her…I feel bad cos it looks like Jason and me are lying to her.

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Should I be honest with her and tell her the truth? How will she take it? Or should I leave Jason alone…I don’t know if Jason’s feelings for me are 100%….he is such a fine boy and I feel sometimes, he will always be that bad boy who uses girls for fun…see how he used Funtola and dropped her….is he using me too? I hope I am not going to be one of those girls….but my feelings for Jason is getting stronger everyday….I feel like I can’t breather…just thinking about Jason.

Most importantly, I know this whole thing with Jason is so sudden to really know his intentions but Jason is really giving positive vibes, like…hes not even asking for s3x….he agreed to take things slow now…is that not a good thing? Yet again……how do I handle this Funtola situation until I am sure of what Jason wants from me? Chai….am not that girl that snatches other peoples boyfriend but then….Funtola was cheating on her fiancé….and Jason never claimed her…please I need advise…I am very nervous.

Anonymous

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True Life Story: How Anger Pushed Me To Carry Out A Dirty Revenge

Hello Lively Stones,

Anger is bad. Very bad. Revenge is dirty. I don’t know how I can ever correct this huge mistake I made out of anger towards my husband simply because I wanted to carry out a dirty revenge on him? My husband and I met over a year ago and dated for almost 7 months before we got married. The engagement was chaotic. We both have short tempers and usually get into heated arguments with each other. We broke up twice in seven months but he kept begging me to come back and promised to get better.

For me, I think I know my faults but I was also scared of loosing him and being alone. I had been engaged before, for three years and it ended up not working out. I was single for so long so being in this relationship, I was afraid. However, we went to counselling…my fiance did…he was advised to break up with me which he tried to but somehow, we decided to get married, instead of breaking up.

Our families threw a very big wedding in Akure. It was the talk of the town. But soon after wedding, our arguments turned in physical fights. We both cant stand each other. My husband says I a wild dog who is not meant to be married but to anyone. Maybe he is right…cos I was not ready to backdown or compromise. And no one advised me, after we quarrel, I would refuse to have s3x with him for days and that would drive him more angry.

Then he decided to leave me alone and stop begging for s3x. He was wrongly advised by someone and so my husband intentionally got close to someone, because he wanted to make me jealous. But my hot head, not only made me jealous, I got so upset that I wanted revenge on my husband. Just two months after marriage o, that is when all these drama started happening.

I went to this gym and registered. I flirted with guys there and slept with two guys I met from the gym. A guy there suggested a threesome if I wanted to have fun…I don’t know what I was thinking….I was just crazy vengeful….there was alot of alcohol the day it happened….I thought I was punishing my husband…..Unfortunately for me, someone made a s3x tape of me and these guys…and has sent it to me, threatening to release the tape soon. The guys said they didn’t do it but I am suspecting them seriously…maybe this is what they do with lonely s3x starved married woman. They are asking for N20M. I am freaking out right now.

I am panicking cos I don’t want any of my family or my husband to find out. I have been crying since. My husband noticed and has been asking me what the issue is, I could not tell him so he started apologizing and confessed that he is not cheating on me but just trying to make me feel jealous. He then called the woman he was pretending with and she also confirmed they were just pretending.

This revelation made me cry more cos I have just realized that I am a fool for going to such extremes just to punish my husband when I suspected him of cheating. I had to confess to my husband what happened. He was too shocked that I did not just cheat in him with one guy but two guys at the same time….he took his things and left him. Since almost 3 weeks, I have not heard from him.

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Meanwhile, I still get threatening messages to send the N20M or they release the video. This morning, they have released the video on X (twitter) but they blocked my face. They said if I dont send the money by end of tomorrow, they will release the full video with my full face. Please ma, I need advise. I am so afraid of my family finding out…..this will k#ll be unforgiveable. Also, how do I ever find a way to make my husband forgive me? Or do you think my two months old marriage is over?

My fear now is, I hope I have not pushed him to go back to that woman he was pretending with? What if they now become real…oh God…what have I done? Why ..why…am I cursed….why am I so short tempered?

Please advise me.

Anonymous

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$\"can$ If you’re talking to your buddies somewhere social, and you want to talk to girls but can’t think of a smooth way, “Can I borrow you?” will save the day.

Want an opener that’s fun, positions you as an authority, gets girls investing right from the outset, and immediately makes them follow your lead?

Meet The “Can I Borrow You?” Opener, a short and sweet opener that does all these things for you right out of the gate. It is both a compliance opener and a high authority opener.

To use this opener, you’re simply going to ask a girl if you can “borrow” her – and then you are going to pull her into whatever scheme you have to get her talking to you.

I’ll explain.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Can, Borrow, You, Opener", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "141", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/can-i-borrow-you-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-can-i-borrow-you-opener", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:27:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49197", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Girls Won't Sleep with You at Your Place", "title_slug": "when-girls-wont-sleep-with-you-at-your-place", "title_hash": "976178d8fb3cb769fd2cfbd82773bab6", "summary": "When you bring back girls but they won’t sleep with you and end up leaving, why is that? It’s due to 3 reasons: lack of arousal, unresolved objections, and/or not liking you ‘like that’.\nA month and a half back, I asked the members of our forum for the various sticking points they were encountering in their seductions. A member named scartissue commented the following:\nHow to escalate once I get the girl back my place on date.\nI've had five times over the last fourteen months (need to put in more volume...) where I get the girl back on a first day from day game. Things are very pleasant and we have good rapport before coming back to my place. I have convenient logistics to go \"oh hey haha my place is right here let's go inside?\" but the move to anything sexual once we go in either doesn't happen at all or gets slowed down heavily.\n\nThis happens a lot to a lot of guys with a lot of girls. It’s not just a day game problem. Guys have this problem in social circle too. It happens to men wi", "content": "

$\"she$ When you bring back girls but they won’t sleep with you and end up leaving, why is that? It’s due to 3 reasons: lack of arousal, unresolved objections, and/or not liking you ‘like that’.

A month and a half back, I asked the members of our forum for the various sticking points they were encountering in their seductions. A member named scartissue commented the following:

This happens a lot to a lot of guys with a lot of girls. It’s not just a day game problem. Guys have this problem in social circle too. It happens to men with nightlife and online game as well… however, not as much.

The reason why it happens at all – and why it happens more to men in day game and social circle – has to do with the nature of the different types of game, and the preparedness of the women you meet via each type.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "When, Girls, Wont, Sleep, with, You, Your, Place", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "133", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/girl-wont-sleep-with-you-at-your-place-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/when-girls-wont-sleep-you-your-place", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:27:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49196", "lang_id": "1", "title": "If Your Life Sucks, Does It Affect You with Girls? (Macro Momentum)", "title_slug": "if-your-life-sucks-does-it-affect-you-with-girls-macro-momentum", "title_hash": "87c273146a1b0d407a4070e6f244f0c2", "summary": "When life is good, it’s easy to do great with girls. But when the road gets bumpy, how do you keep your momentum up in dating – instead of let it fall?\n\nContents\nI. The Swinging Pendulum\nII. Life Experiences and Momentum\nIII. Game or Life?\n\n\nEscapism\n\n\nFix Your Life\n\n\nPrioritize\n\n\nIV. Conclusion\n\nHey guys and welcome back.\nToday, I want to talk about macro-momentum. I know it’s a fancy word, but its definition is simple and likely concerns you. Macro-momentum is how well you are doing over an expected period, usually depending on your life, emotional situation, and overall results in field.\nYou have probably noticed that during pickup and seduction, there are times when you have plenty of results and all is going perfectly. The girls like you; it is easy to open and hook; you are confident in your skills. Seduction feels simple—you are excited about the entire process. We call this high macro-momentum or simply high momentum. Your success from previous nights will spill over into the n", "content": "

$\"high$ When life is good, it’s easy to do great with girls. But when the road gets bumpy, how do you keep your momentum up in dating – instead of let it fall?

Contents

I. The Swinging Pendulum

II. Life Experiences and Momentum

III. Game or Life?

\n
Escapism
\n
\n
Fix Your Life
\n
\n
Prioritize
\n

IV. Conclusion

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about macro-momentum. I know it’s a fancy word, but its definition is simple and likely concerns you. Macro-momentum is how well you are doing over an expected period, usually depending on your life, emotional situation, and overall results in field.

You have probably noticed that during pickup and seduction, there are times when you have plenty of results and all is going perfectly. The girls like you; it is easy to open and hook; you are confident in your skills. Seduction feels simple—you are excited about the entire process. We call this high macro-momentum or simply high momentum. Your success from previous nights will spill over into the next, continuing until the pendulum swings the other way.

Then, there are times when things don’t go so well. You have off-periods, or what we call low macro-momentum or low momentum. You are struggling and not getting many, if any, results. Everything you try feels like work; hooking is challenging, and women do not seem to respond well to your approach. You have to work much harder for results.

And just like that, your mojo is gone; you lose motivation.

The pendulum eventually swings back into high momentum. It continues to go back and forth. It’s the nature of the game. The sooner you accept it, the better.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Your, Life, Sucks, Does, Affect, You, with, Girls, Macro, Momentum", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "125", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/07/real-life-pickup-momentum-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/if-your-life-sucks-does-it-affect-you-girls-macro-momentum", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:27:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49195", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Woman Who Received 5,000 Boyfriend Applications Reveals Seven Key Reasons Why They All Failed", "title_slug": "woman-who-received-5000-boyfriend-applications-reveals-seven-key-reasons-why-they-all-failed", "title_hash": "d03b406a84b46ec0e41c4d9575a4e9d3", "summary": "A woman named Vera Dijkmans had 5,000 men apply to be her boyfriend, but none of them succeeded.…", "content": "A woman named Vera Dijkmans had 5,000 men apply to be her boyfriend, but none of them succeeded.…", "keywords": "Woman, Who, Received, 5,000, Boyfriend, Applications, Reveals, Seven, Key, Reasons, Why, They, All, Failed", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "150", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/image2.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/woman-who-received-5000-boyfriend-applications-reveals-seven-key-reasons-why-they-all-failed/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:26:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49194", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Influencer Says Her Beauty is Making it Difficult to Find Her a Boyfriend", "title_slug": "influencer-says-her-beauty-is-making-it-difficult-to-find-her-a-boyfriend", "title_hash": "c054737b25a515d5499d5240b7438aa9", "summary": "Chilean TikToker Michelle Peint has sparked interest by revealing her struggle to find a date. She believes her…", "content": "Chilean TikToker Michelle Peint has sparked interest by revealing her struggle to find a date. She believes her…", "keywords": "Influencer, Says, Her, Beauty, Making, Difficult, Find, Her, Boyfriend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/imag3.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/influencer-says-her-beauty-is-making-it-difficult-to-find-her-a-boyfriend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:26:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49193", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Does Having an AI 'Partner' Count as Cheating?", "title_slug": "does-having-an-ai-partner-count-as-cheating", "title_hash": "469d77de20f7571ae53ac1b8df05077d", "summary": "Does Having an 'AI Partner' on the Side Count as Cheating? Here's What People Think", "content": "The Story\r\nThe rise of AI in the past year and change presents us with novel questions. Like: Is talking flirtatiously with an AI ‘companion’ chatbot a form of cheating? \r\nThat’s the question DatingAdvice.com asked over 1,000 people in relationships recently, and the answers were fascinating. \r\nRELATED: What Men and Women Look for in A.I. Companion Bots \r\nThe Snapshot\r\nOf those who responded to the survey, roughly 56% were against the idea of a partner getting close or even intimate with an AI chatbot, but only 31% were in favor. \r\nThese people might be people who weren’t that wedded to the concept of monogamy to begin with, or they may just see this as distinctly different from having the same interactions with a real person. \r\n\r\nRELATED: The Best Ways to Improve Your Relationship \r\nSome of those in favor even felt that having an “AI partner” on the side to chat with could help their significant other be a better partner in the real relationship, hinting at a possible use for this idea in the future. \r\nThe Lesson\r\nAs AI tech continues to creep into our lives in different ways, questions like these may stop being hypothetical and start being very real. \r\nRELATED: How to Prepare for the Impact of AI on the Job Market \r\nThe question in this survey essentially hinges on the following thought experiment: Is it only cheating if it’s with someone else? \r\nOf course, there are some people in monogamous relationships who would see a partner watching porn (or masturbating to fantasies of other people) as forms of cheating. \r\nBut whether this counts as cheating likely comes down to whether you see texting with an AI chatbot as more like watching porn or more like flirting with a human. After all, there may not be a real person on the other end, but the feelings it can evoke in a person may still be similar — and that’s something that can understandably engender jealousy. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhy You Should Be Concerned About A.I. PornCan A.I. Deliver Accurate Sex Education?The Psychology Behind Emotional Affairs", "keywords": "Does, Having, Partner, Count, Cheating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/does-having-an-ai-partner-count-as-cheating/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1720206626.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/does-having-an-ai-partner-count-as-cheating.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:25:58", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49192", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everything You Need to Know About Attraction", "title_slug": "everything-you-need-to-know-about-attraction", "title_hash": "9bc6b9cc7f70be0d9e1f1b7e39713d52", "summary": "The Science Behind How Attraction Works (and What to Do About It)", "content": "Attraction is something that almost everyone feels to some degree — an unspoken, nearly unexplainable feeling of desire for someone else, whether it’s romantic, sexual, somewhere in between, strictly platonic, or even some other thing that you can’t describe nor pin down. \r\nBut what is attraction, exactly? Why and how does it happen? Are there different types of attraction? When you're feeling this feeling, what does it mean about you, or the person or people you’re attracted to? Should you act on the feelings you’re experiencing, and if so, how? \r\nRELATED: The Relationship Between Eye Contact & Attraction, Explained\r\nUnfortunately, none of these questions have completely fool-proof and straightforward answers. But in the interest of uncovering more about how attraction works, AskMen spoke with a number of experts to see what knowledge we could glean about this mystifying, wonderful and sometimes exasperating facet of the human experience. \r\n\r\nWhat Does It Mean to Be Attracted to Someone?\r\n\r\nOne of the best things about attraction is that it resists easy categorization and definition. \r\nIt’s a feeling, and not a number or a shape or a letter grade. That indefinable quality gives rise to all kinds of art and expression — everything from sappy love poetry to gushing diary entries to unsolicited dick pics and fear-inducing catcalls — but it can also push people to try to put it in boxes it doesn’t necessarily fit in. \r\nRELATED: 5 Types of Men Women Find Attractive\r\nThink, for instance, of the habit guys have long had of categorizing women’s attractiveness by a score out of 10. It’s an attempt to simplify the mysterious, ineffable nature of attraction down to something simple and concrete, albeit in a way that ends up demeaning both the woman in question and the nature of attraction. \r\nIn short, maybe we should let attraction be what it is: complicated. \r\n“Attraction is complex, as it’s not only about sexual allure,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the “@SexWithDrJess” podcast. “We are drawn to people for a variety of reasons — sex is not the only enticement. You might be attracted to different people at different times in very different ways. For example, you might find that you’re physically attracted, spiritually attracted, emotionally attracted, romantically attracted and/or mentally attracted to various folks.”\r\nRELATED: Couples Explain What First Attracted Them to Each Other\r\nIn fact, it’s possible for our attractions to even reinforce or contradict each other.\r\n“Sometimes you’ll experience multiple layers of attraction and other times, it might be a singular attraction; for example, you can dislike someone, but still find that you’re sexually attracted to them,” she continues. “If we’re talking about sexual attraction, we’re generally talking about being sexually drawn to a person (or people).”\r\nTake note that how many people you’re attracted to can vary greatly. You might be attracted to hundreds or thousands or people, or just a handful; you might be only attracted to one person, or struggle to think of even one person you find attractive. \r\nRELATED: Asexual, Demisexual and 60+ Other Dating Terms to Know\r\nAll of the above are totally normal, partially due to attraction being something that’s unique to every person, and partially because it doesn’t need to define who we are or extend beyond our thoughts and feelings. \r\n“Attraction is not love, commitment, or even lust (at least not at first),” says Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com. “So being attracted to more than one person is extremely common. Unfortunately, most of us have only heard the narrative that monogamy is the only way to experience relationships and, worse still, that attraction to other people is a serious offense.”\r\nAnd then there’s attraction that doesn’t necessarily involve being attracted to a person. O’Reilly says that “some people also express sexual attraction to objects, scenarios, and feelings.”\r\nRELATED: Here's How Sexual Chemistry Works\r\nDepending on what you’re into, that might sound either strange or familiar, but both are valid.\r\n“There’s no real ‘normal’ or ‘standard’ when it comes to attraction,” says Lords. “We like what we like, and also there are plenty of things we don’t like. Everyone creates their own standards of what makes someone attractive to them, even if that ‘creation’ only occurs at a subconscious level.”\r\n\r\nHow Attraction Manifests Itself\r\n\r\nIn the Body\r\nWhen in the presence of (or simply thinking about) someone you’re attracted to, it’s common to experience some physical effects. \r\n“Many of us have felt the physical effects of heart racing, a fluttering feeling in our stomach, or sweaty palms when we meet someone we are attracted to,” says One Medical’s Michael Richardson, MD. “These sensations come about when specific hormones and neurotransmitters are released and impact not only our body, but our emotional attachment to the person we encounter.”\r\nOther physical sensations or reactions you might experience include blushing, fidgeting, or even a degree of physical arousal such as an erection, if the context lends itself to that in some way. \r\nIn the Brain\r\nOf course, what’s going on physically is also in part a manifestation of things going on in your brain. Attraction manifests itself not just in your thoughts, but also is visible in how and where your brain is most active. \r\n“Believe it or not, attraction comes from the same brain structures as fear,” says Anand Bhatt, M.S. of Certaire Medical. “We attribute attraction to the limbic system, which is a collection of brain structures that affect arousal, motivation, fear, and addiction.”\r\nAs a result, it’s completely normal “to feel a little tongue-tied or just not yourself when you meet someone you are attracted to,” says Richardson. \r\n“You may notice your sex drive increases as your testosterone and estrogen levels surge, and the giddy and euphoric sensation you are feeling (and the reason you can’t fall asleep) are from the increased levels of dopamine and neuroepinephrine being released from this attraction.”\r\nRELATED: Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life\r\nIn Thoughts\r\nAttraction often manifests itself in our thoughts in bold, noticeable ways. \r\n“Depending on the type and intensity of attraction, you might find that your thoughts immediately turn to sex,” says O’Reilly. “On the other hand, if the attraction is accompanied by feelings of intense emotion (e.g. love), you might find that the thought of that person overwhelms your thoughts. You may even have trouble focusing on other thoughts and tasks.”\r\nRELATED: The Difference Between Limerence & Love \r\nIf you’ve ever listened to a pop song where someone sings about falling in love or not being able to get someone off their mind, those kinds of reactions are indicative of the way some attractions can feel extremely powerful in their earliest stages. \r\nIn Actions\r\nIf you’ve ever felt drawn to someone you’re attracted to, you might be familiar with the idea that attraction can feel a bit like an addiction. Naturally, that can have difficult implications in terms of how it impacts our actions. \r\nRELATED: Lies Pop Culture Taught Us About Love & Romance\r\n“Advertisers rely heavily on this phenomenon,” says Bhatt of the attraction/addiction similarities. “You can't even walk through a WalMart without being bombarded by images of half-naked people in giant ads near the underwear section. This is to trigger your limbic system,” almost like a drug would. \r\n“In terms of actions, the response to attraction is highly varied,” adds O’Reilly. “This is because you have greater control over your actions. You can feel intense attraction and opt to act on it by approaching the source — or you can feel intense attraction and decide to move on.”\r\nSome attractions are relatively harmless to pursue, say if you’re on a dating app and find yourself swiping right if you’re into them. But if you find yourself attracted to a friend’s partner, or to someone at work, acting on these attractions can have serious negative consequences. \r\nRELATED: Is It Ever Acceptable to Date a Friend's Ex?\r\n\r\nWhat Kind of Person You Are, Based on Who You’re Attracted To\r\n\r\nDoes being attracted to a lot of people, very few people, or possibly no one at all, mean something about you? Is it weird to find yourself often attracted to the same kind of person over and over? Is it weird to be attracted to one person but not another person who, on the surface, seems just like them? \r\nThe answer to all of those? Essentially, no. \r\nThough some people’s attractions are deeply important to who they are, our attractions don’t need to define us if we don’t want them to, particularly if it’s just something like being attracted to talented musicians or witty redheads. \r\n“Having a type is extremely common, and yet many people (myself included) have found when we move away from a specific ‘type’ of person, we find more happiness and satisfaction,” says Lords. “Attraction based on outward appearance is real, but largely superficial,” she adds.\r\n“The core of who a person is offers more meaningful connections than their outward appearance. Long-term, we love and commit to a person’s mind, personality, way of looking at the world, and who they are as a person. But when we discuss ‘types’ we often mean superficial things that are out of a person’s control — height, body shape, skin color, etc.”\r\nAnother reason attractions don’t necessarily say much about us is that they’re not set in stone. \r\nRELATED: The Difference Between Attraction & Compatibility\r\n“Initial attraction probably is out of our control — something about a person catches our attention, and we feel the spark of something for them,” notes Lords. “That doesn’t mean we can’t learn to be more open-minded, to read subtle cues about a person, or to look a little deeper before deciding we’re genuinely attracted to someone (or acting on that attraction).”\r\n\r\nHow You Should Deal With Being Attracted to Someone\r\n\r\nYou see someone you think is attractive and you might feel compelled to do something about it, to express the feeling somehow. \r\nUnfortunately, it’s easy for even sincere expressions of attraction to come off as creepy or unpleasant if the person you’re informing doesn’t want to receive that kind of attention from you. \r\nWith that in mind, it’s a good idea to try to find a middle ground between over- and under-expressing your attractions. A good way to approach that is by not jumping to conclusions in your attraction — something that can be hard when you’re in the throes of it. \r\n“Don’t assume that person will be attracted to you, and don’t assume that the feeling of attraction is love at first sight,” cautions Lords. “It could be lust, or it could be appreciation for someone’s outward appearance, but until you know them, it has little basis in who they are as a person. Also, don’t pursue someone you’re attracted to if they give any signals (a firm no, hesitation, discomfort, anything) that shows they’re not necessarily interested in or attracted to you.”\r\nIf you do want to act on your attraction, O’Reilly suggests gauging the other person’s interest first.\r\n“Ask them if they’re interested,” she suggests. “You might ask them out on a date, you might flirt if they are open to it or you might (in the right context) pay attention to the body language. For example, if you’re in a club and they’re making eye contact and moving toward you, you might do the same.”\r\nRELATED: How to Flirt, Explained\r\nHowever, it can be trickier to gauge whether someone you’re attracted to is attracted to you too in a digital context. \r\n“If you’re attracted to someone you see on Instagram, you cannot rely on their body language to gauge whether attraction is mutual, as their posts are not directed at you,” adds O’Reilly. “There is no mutual exchange.”\r\nThat’s likely the reason for a lot of misguided social media interactions — you see someone, find yourself attracted to them, develop a desire for communication and connection, only to be completely rebuffed by someone who wasn’t asking for or expecting your approach. \r\nRELATED: The Difference Between Casual Flirtation & True Attraction\r\nOn the other hand, a straightforward approach, when done right, is better than being sneaky about it. \r\n“However you respond to attraction, be open and straightforward,” explains O’Reilly. “Don’t pretend that you want to meet to discuss business or hang out as platonic friends if you’re ultimately getting together with the hope that the sexual attraction is mutual.”\r\nIn the end, there’s nothing wrong with or strange about experiencing attraction. That said, it is possible to act on it in ways that can be embarrassing for you and/or painful for other people, and knowing how to avoid that will make your attraction experiences all the sweeter. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\t10 Proven Ways to Improve Your Attractiveness\r\n\tWhy You Should Consider Unfollowing Your Crush\r\n\tBasic Instagram Flirting Rules to Follow", "keywords": "Everything, You, Need, Know, About, Attraction", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2020/05/29-041531-everything_you_need_to_know_about_being_attracted_to_someone.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/everything-you-need-to-know-about-being-attracted-to-someone.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:25:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49191", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Urologists Quizzed on Best ED Cures", "title_slug": "urologists-quizzed-on-best-ed-cures", "title_hash": "5b4529bf6b2d0269ee1bcf0f6375be85", "summary": "Urologists Were Quizzed on the Best Cures for ED. Here's What They Said", "content": "The Story\r\nGiven how common erectile dysfunction is, and how motivated guys are to resolve it, it’s no surprise that there are lots of different methods promoted as potential ED cures. \r\nBut which ones actually work best? \r\nThat’s the question that the Between Us Clinic asked recently, when it surveyed several dozen urologists on the best alternative ED cures out there. \r\nRELATED: The Best Herbal Viagras & Other Natural ED Cures \r\nThe Snapshot\r\nGiven that urologists are the people you go to when you have erectile issues, they’re some of the best-placed people in the world to answer this question. \r\nRELATED: How to Treat Your Erectile Dysfunction \r\nAnd while each one may have a different opinion on the matter, surveying a group of them can help clarify trends in how they think that can be useful to you, the reader. \r\nThe survey asked 33 urologists their opinions on seven different alternative ED cures, asking them to choose either “Recommend,” “Don’t recommend” or “It depends” for each option. \r\n\r\nWhile they may sound excitingly scientific, stem cell therapy and platelet-rich plasma therapy scored lowest, with each gaining a Yes response from just 10% of the surveyed doctors. On the flip side, mindfulness meditation and diet and exercise came in with the highest scores, at 88% and 97% respectively. \r\n\r\nThe Lesson\r\nWhile erectile dysfunction (or difficulties) is far from the end of the world, it’s certainly no picnic. \r\nIf it’s happening to you, you’re probably already wondering how to resolve it. And while you may feel called to expensive or high-tech options, this survey suggests that urologists know how much one’s overall health — mental and physical — can play a role in erectile function. \r\nRELATED: How Erections Work, Explained \r\nSo while it’s a good idea to visit a doctor to talk about your erectile difficulties if they do occur, keep in mind that for many guys, the best solutions will be holistic health ones that will enable them to achieve better blood flow and to enter into the relaxed parasympathetic mode that’s conducive to achieving erections. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhy Men Lose Their Erections During Sex What It’s Like to Experience Erectile Difficulties & Deal With Them\r\nHow to Get Harder Erections", "keywords": "Urologists, Quizzed, Best, Cures", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "145", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/urologists-quizzed-on-best-ed-cures/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1720206827.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/urologists-quizzed-on-best-ed-cures.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:25:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49190", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Asking for Consent Examples — How to Talk About It With a Partner", "title_slug": "asking-for-consent-examples-how-to-talk-about-it-with-a-partner", "title_hash": "20dfb6b73ba4dca449d4a853d5fb7b38", "summary": "Here's How to Talk About Consent With a Partner", "content": "One of the biggest shifts around how we see sex in the past decade has been the increased focus on the importance of consent. Laws have been passed, hashtags have gone viral, and it has become increasingly hard to make tasteless jokes without encountering pushback.\r\nBut while these have all been necessary changes, that doesn’t mean that the average guy has a much clearer understanding of sexual consent than he used to. It’s not something that’s typically covered in school sex ed curriculums, it’s not portrayed in any realistic way in porn, if at all, and when people do talk about the process of ‘asking for consent’ they often make it sound terribly unsexy.\r\nSimply put, if you want to come off as suave, cool and confident, walking the line between being consent-aware and projecting your sexiest self can be a confusing path to navigate.\r\nRELATED: The Meaning of Consent and The Different Types That Exist\r\nBut consent is too important of a subject to let people muddle through, because even when not done purposefully, non-consensual moves in a sex context can leave people with lasting trauma and can lead to serious legal consequences. In order to help you understand how to ask for consent in a way that feels natural and, yes, sexy, AskMen spoke to five sex and dating experts. Here’s what they had to say:\r\n\r\nThe Importance of Consent\r\n\r\n“When you are consent-minded,” says Sarah Pierson founder of The Uncomfortable Conversation, “it means that you consistently take the time to engage in conversations about people's preferences and listen for enthusiasm, i.e. the presence of a ‘hell yes!’ instead of the absence of ‘no.’”\r\nIt’s also partly about creating instances where a person knows they have the option of saying either yes or no, rather than trying to coerce them into an outcome or hoping they’ll just go along with something you want.\r\n“When asking for consent during a date, it’s all about clarity,” explains Connell Barrett, podcast host and dating coach for the Hily app. “You want to let the person know what you want, which gives them the gift of being able to say either yes or no.”\r\n“What word is sexier than ‘yes’ when said by your crush?” Barrett says. “At the same time, when you get a ‘no,’ sure, it may sting. But you can feel good about being a man who shows empathy and respect for his dates, and who doesn’t pressure them to do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.”\r\nYes, one of the most important aspects of being consent-aware is knowing how to handle rejection.\r\n“Obviously hearing a no in a sexual situation is an ego-blow — it doesn't feel amazing, but it's also just a part of sex (and life), and we need to have reasonable expectations around it,” says Gigi Engle, a certified sex educator and sex expert for SKYN. “You should go into all sexual experiences knowing that there is a chance of someone saying no and being prepared for that. It isn't a personal attack, it's simply someone asserting their boundaries.”\r\n“Consent isn’t just a matter of yes or no,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, “because there are circumstances where people are pressured into saying yes.”\r\n“It’s not just about asking permission. It’s about creating connections that facilitate real conversations — whether it’s a one-night stand or a long-term relationship,” O’Reilly adds.\r\nRELATED: Video Series Teaches Guys How To Talk About Consent After #MeToo\r\nSo what do those conversations look like? Let’s check out some examples:\r\n\r\nAsking for Consent Conversation Examples\r\n\r\nAt a Bar\r\nContrary to the way it’s sometimes portrayed, consent isn’t something that starts when both parties are alone together in a bedroom. As Pierson mentioned, this is a consistent practice, and you can start putting it into practice long before you’re about to hook up. For instance, it can play out when approaching someone at a bar, for instance.\r\nO’Reilly suggests asking the other person how they’d feel about you joining them like this:\r\n\r\n“You in the mood for company?”\r\n\r\nIf they say yes, your job is easy — sit down next to them and start chatting. If they say no, however, it’s a little bit less pleasant, but it doesn’t need to be complicated. O’Reilly suggests simply going with:\r\n\r\n“Alright. Have a great night.”\r\n\r\nFirst Kiss \r\nSuppose the person did say yes and you did sit down next to them for a chat, and the night progressed and morphed into a date. After leaving the bar, maybe you’re thinking about a first kiss.\r\n“Consent conversations don't have to be awkward,” says Pierson. “If you can say, ‘How would you feel about a glass of wine? Red or white?\"’ you can also say\r\n\r\n“How would you feel about a kiss?\"\r\n\r\nO’Reilly suggests a simple:\r\n\r\n“Can I kiss you?”\r\n\r\nBarrett notes that you can also frame it in terms of your desire:\r\n\r\n“I want to kiss you.”\r\n\r\nHe says that you might get a few different responses — things like “‘Well, what are you waiting for?,’ ‘Go right ahead,’ or they move in and kiss you first” if they are interested. If not, he notes they might shake their head or verbally express a no, but it saves everyone the awkwardness of you moving in for a kiss and them having to duck or lunge away.\r\nAsking Someone Over\r\nSuppose you do kiss, and the kiss goes well, and you start to wonder about the night turning into something more. You might want to invite the person back to your place to see if you can continue getting intimate together.\r\nRELATED: How to Prepare Your House for a Date\r\n“Only ask someone to come over for sex if you already feel strong sexual chemistry, with lots of touching and making out,” Barrett cautions.\r\n“Avoid the clichéd phrase ‘Let’s go to my place,’ which sounds sleazy,” he adds. “Many people say, ‘Wanna get out of here?’, which does imply going back to your place, but it lacks specificity. Be vulnerable, direct, and make the invitation sound fun:\r\n\r\n“I’m having a great time with you. Here’s an idea: You should come over so we can have a naked after-party. Up for it?”\r\n\r\n“I would love to take you home and continue our date in my bedroom. How does that sound?”\r\n\r\nFrom there, the person might be excited to make it happen with you, or you might get some pushback, Barrett notes, whether it’s an excuse (“Umm, I don’t know, I have to be up early tomorrow”), a partial yes (“I’ll come over, but I don’t think we should rush sex”), or a no that clarifies the person’s still interested in keeping the date going (“That’s a little fast for me. Can’t we just hang out here?”).\r\nRegardless of the response, if they’re not 100% on board, it’s important not to be pushy or rude about it.\r\n“Handling a no is part of being consent-minded too,” says Pierson. “If someone says, ‘I'd rather not make out or have sex,’ or simply a more ambiguous, ‘I'd like to call it a night,’ a consent-minded person might say,\r\n\r\n'Thank you for sharing that with me. Let's get you a safe way home.'\"\r\n\r\nOral Sex\r\nWhen it comes to oral, says Barrett, “The best time to ask is when you’re both hot and heavy, and the clothes have already come off.” He suggests something like,\r\n\r\n“I want to taste you. Can I go down on you?”\r\n\r\nPeople are often receptive to the idea of being pleasured orally, but not everyone is. Barrett notes that you might hear things like, “That’s not really my thing,” “I’m not prepared down there, if you know what I mean,” “Not yet, but maybe the next time. I’m not ready yet.”\r\nRELATED: Oral Sex Guide for Men to Make You Better at Just About Everything\r\nPenetrative Sex\r\nShifting a makeout session or oral sex towards penetrative sex is another instance where you’ll want to get the other person’s consent. One way you can signal it, O’Reilly notes, is by bringing up using protection:\r\n\r\n“Should I get a condom?”\r\n\r\nYou could also say something like\r\n\r\n“God, I’m so horny, I just want to have sex with you right now.”\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n“Are you ready to go all the way?”\r\n\r\nIf the person says yes, then congrats! However, if they express doubt, hesitation, or don’t answer with a clear sign of their interest, it’s important to recognize that and not push them. If they’re not super excited by the concept but also don’t seem completely against the idea, O’Reilly notes that you can try to navigate their disinterest by asking if they’d be OK with you trying to convince them — while also giving them other options if they really aren’t interested, like so:\r\n\r\n“Can I try to get you in the mood, or do you want to rest/sleep/snuggle/binge a show instead tonight?”\r\n\r\nIt’s important to remember that just because someone agreed to have penetrative sex with you doesn’t mean their consent applies the whole time. It’s possible and not uncommon for someone to change their mind about wanting sex during the sex act itself, and if you’re the partner being penetrated, it’s often harder to end things.\r\nFor that reason, if you’re the penetrating partner, it’s good to check in with the person you’re hooking up with, especially if you don’t know each other very well. O’Reilly suggests a simple,\r\n\r\n“Does this feel good for you?”\r\n\r\nRELATED: Clever Dirty Talk Phrases That Are Also Sexual Consent Questions\r\nHaving a Threesome\r\nFor threesomes, much of the same rules apply, but asking each person in turn could start to feel tiresome. \r\nInstead, Angie Rowntree, founder and director of Sssh.com, suggests leaning into the question-asking and making it sexy rather than bureaucratic. \r\nIt goes like this, she says, “One person asks their partner if they can do certain things in the “Mother, May I?” game fashion.”\r\nRELATED: Pro Tips for Having an Actually Good (and Sexy) Threesome \r\n“For those who never played, the naughty version isn’t far off from the original version, so use your imagination!,” Rowntree explains. “This can be played with 2 or more people and is great for a threesome game. One person starts and asks permission and receives approval to act on these actions.”\r\nShe shares the following as an example: \r\n\r\n“Brian: May I lick your clit one time? \r\nJane: No, but you may lick my nipple three times. \r\nBrian: May I suck your big toe? \r\nJane: Yes, you may suck my toes for eight seconds.”\r\n\r\n“With this particular game, you not only receive consent for sexual acts, but for every single individual action, as you build anticipation and excitement towards climax,” Rowntree notes. \r\nAnal\r\nWhether you’re exploring anal with someone who has a vagina or someone who doesn’t, anal is always something you need to get consent for. O’Reilly suggests:\r\n\r\n“Do you want it in your ass?”\r\n\r\nBut you can also talk about why, exactly, you’re proposing anal:\r\n\r\n“God, your asshole looks so good — I just want to fuck it. How would you feel about that?”\r\n\r\nRELATED: Prepare to Have the Best Anal Sex of Your Life\r\nIf the person says no, O’Reilly notes that you can ask if the person would be down to explore dirty talking about the concept of anal without actually engaging in it, like so:\r\n\r\n“Can we just talk about what it would feel like? As a fantasy — not reality.”\r\n\r\nEjaculation\r\nEjaculating is a big deal — it usually connotes a lot of pleasure for the person doing it. For someone on the receiving end of an ejaculation, it can be very exciting, too, but it might also carry negative connotations — around taste, smell and feel, as well as the possibility of STI transmission or pregnancy. As a result, it’s important not to ejaculate carelessly.\r\nIf the other person tells you they don’t want you to cum in a specific place, O’Reilly says you can suggest an alternate location:\r\n\r\n“Do you want it on your stomach?”\r\n\r\nOr, she says, you can simply ask what the other person wants you to do with your cum:\r\n\r\n“Tell me where you want it.”\r\n\r\nFirst Exploring or Trying a Fetish Together\r\nIf you’re someone with some less-vanilla sexual tastes, it can be tricky to know how to bring those up to a new partner.\r\n“A fetish is a bit more complicated, in that for a person to give consent to be involved in a fetish, they need to have a full understanding of what they are consenting to,” says Engle. “So, you'd say, for example:\r\n\r\n\"I really have a sexual interest in feet. This means I [insert why you like them]. Would you be open to letting me do [insert thing] to your feet?\"\r\n\r\nIf the other person isn’t feeling what you’re into, that can feel pretty bad — you might feel ashamed, or frustrated, or judged. But it’s important not to be rude about it, she notes.\r\n“Getting defensive will not serve you. Simply take the no and move on with your life. Treat others the way that you want to be treated.”\r\nShe notes that you can reply with something like\r\n\r\n\"OK! No worries. Want to do X thing instead?\"\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n\"Sure, no problem. What would you feel comfortable doing?\"\r\n\r\nRELATED: How to Explain Your Fetish to Your Partner\r\nWhen You’re Having Rough or Kinky Sex\r\n“In kink, consent has to be freely given before and during your kinky moment,” says Kayla Lords, co-host of the Loving BDSM podcast. “The before is usually simple. The conversation looks like this:”\r\n\r\nYou: “Hey, I’m into [insert kink] and would love to try it with you.”\r\n\r\nThem: “Oh yeah, can we talk about it a little?”\r\n\r\n“Then the conversation can progress from there,” says Lords. “Questions asked and answered. Looking stuff up online to see how it’s done.”\r\n“But my favorite conversation in kink is how you make sure you still have consent in the middle of the action,” she explains. “My partner (who is also my dominant) always wants to make sure I’m having a good time, that he hasn’t gone too far, or that I’m not so far down in subspace that I can no longer advocate for myself in a scene (whether by using a safe word or indicating a problem).”\r\n“So he’ll check in with me,” Lords explains. “A lot of people think checking in mid-scene (or mid-sex) will take you out of the moment and feel unsexy, and that’s just not true.”\r\nShe notes that she and her partner use the “traffic light system” — “green means keep going, yellow means slow down, red means stop.\r\nSo Lords says if her partner notices she’s being quieter than usual, he’ll check in with her like so: \r\n\r\n“Give me a color, girl.”\r\n\r\nShe’ll then respond with the color that fits how she feels, letting him know how to respond.\r\n“If I don’t give any response at all,” Lords says, “he’ll ask once or twice more. If I still don’t respond, all play stops. Why? Because if I can no longer speak to him, I can no longer maintain or withdraw consent, so we stop. He knows it's safer this way, even if he’s disappointed that the scene ended early.”\r\nUltimately, she notes, “The questions asked in this moment matter less than the way they’re asked. Stalling the situation but keeping sensual touch going, leaning close, whispering (as long as the other person can hear those whispers), and then using the information from the answer — or non-answer — to decide what to do next… all of this keeps the moment super sexy and erotic while also keeping everyone safe and making sure both partners fully consent.”\r\n“If consent is withdrawn or not clearly given, my partner shrugs it off, and stops what he’s doing,” Lords concludes. “He knows that by maintaining consent between us and stopping now, he makes it easier for us to get kinky at another time.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tWhat to Do When Your Friend Gets Called Out\r\n\tMale Sexual Consent: How to Know If Yours Has Been Violated\r\n\tHow We Teach Consent to Young Boys", "keywords": "Asking, for, Consent, Examples, —, How, Talk, About, With, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2022/11/04-045405-asking_for_consent_examples_how_to_talk_about_it_with_a_partner.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/asking-for-consent-examples-how-to-talk-about-it-with-a-partner.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:25:38", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49189", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Use Beard Balm", "title_slug": "how-to-use-beard-balm", "title_hash": "95f4f048cb75884f1a2b41d6a1103c08", "summary": "Generations of beardies often ask about the sudden rise of a product dedicated exclusively to facial hair. Why are there so many balms and what to do with them?\r\nBeard-specific balms aren’t new. Quite the opposite, actually. For centuries, America's Indigenous people have used oils and balms, blending castor, almond, and grape seed oils to keep bearded skin smooth and facial hair soft. That beard balms are today ubiquitous is merely circumstantial — a changing norm of face maintenance.\r\nRELATED: Top Beard Balms and Oils\r\nWhereas once a shaved face conveyed seriousness and purpose, a survey conducted by OnePoll concludes that 33 percent of American men have facial hair of some kind, while 55 percent of men worldwide now sport a little facial fuzz of some kind. Large or small, glorious or not, that face requires up-keep.\r\n\r\nWhat Is Beard Balm?\r\n\r\nBeard balms have earned notable distinction for several reasons. While both beard oils and beard balms moisturize, beard balm doubles as a styl", "content": "Generations of beardies often ask about the sudden rise of a product dedicated exclusively to facial hair. Why are there so many balms and what to do with them?\r\nBeard-specific balms aren’t new. Quite the opposite, actually. For centuries, America's Indigenous people have used oils and balms, blending castor, almond, and grape seed oils to keep bearded skin smooth and facial hair soft. That beard balms are today ubiquitous is merely circumstantial — a changing norm of face maintenance.\r\nRELATED: Top Beard Balms and Oils\r\nWhereas once a shaved face conveyed seriousness and purpose, a survey conducted by OnePoll concludes that 33 percent of American men have facial hair of some kind, while 55 percent of men worldwide now sport a little facial fuzz of some kind. Large or small, glorious or not, that face requires up-keep.\r\n\r\nWhat Is Beard Balm?\r\n\r\nBeard balms have earned notable distinction for several reasons. While both beard oils and beard balms moisturize, beard balm doubles as a styling pro, too, because it is thicker, less oily, and ultimately lighter for all-day wear. \r\n“What sets beard balm apart from beard oil is the addition of wax, which renders the product solid,” explains Rob Karreman, director, Dr K Soap Company. “The addition of wax gives beard balm its unique property – that of smoothing the beard and improving its appearance by adding hold, which keeps stray hairs in check.”\r\nBeard balm is a waxy paste that includes ingredients such as beeswax, various skin-friendly oils, and butters such as shea or cocoa. \r\n“It is more a leave-in face conditioner, moisture sealant, and styling aid,” adds Sam Pollack from Beard Grow XL. Whether your beard is thick, thin, long or just starting to take flight, beard balms help style, maintain and even give the appearance of a slightly thicker beard by keeping hairs in place, swept to the side or just left to their own device.\r\n\r\nBeard Balm Benefits and How to Use It\r\n\r\nAdding beard balm to your medicine cabinet helps maintain the overall health of your skin and facial hair. If you’ve ever had visibly red, dry skin underneath your beard, a purpose-built waxy moisturizer can leave skin under your facial hair looking healthier, and beard hair, less coarse. \r\nAdditionally, if your beard lacks thickness, several beard balms use ingredients like biotin liposomes and white willow bark that might actually promote fuller growth. Adding it to your morning routine takes seconds while the benefits of a cleaner, better-smelling face lasts all day.\r\n Like the application of wax to short hairstyles, correct use of beard balm needn’t be overcomplicated. Scoop out a dime sized amount from the tin and rub the wax in your hands until fully melted. “The amount used will depend on the beard,” explains Pollack, “so definitely adjust as necessary.” The product should be worked through the beard with the fingers, starting at the root all the way to the end of the beard hair. You can also choose to massage some underneath the beard as well to prevent dry skin and dandruff. \r\nPro tip: some guys use a boar bristle or synthetic vegan bristle beard brush to distribute balm more evenly through beard hair. We’d definitely recommend this. Not only does it distribute from root to tip more effectively, it also styles face hair and acts as a gentle exfoliant on the skin, too.\r\n\r\nHow to Choose the Right Beard Balm for You\r\n\r\nGuys with thicker beards should use beard balm for taming hairs, styling, and moisturizing. Balms can also be used on patchy, sparse, or brittle beards to achieve a thicker look. In either case, choosing the right kind of beard balm from the many available is simply a matter of paying attention. \r\nQuality balms are full of oils like jojoba and argan to add moisture and sealing ingredients like beeswax to keep hair hydrated longer. They also eschew unpronounceable chemicals that are alcohol or petroleum-based that can easily irritate or dry out skin.\r\n“A good beard balm will have oils with a low comedogenic rating – this means that they will not clog the pores,” says Karreman. “Another important aspect is fragrance – since the balm is close to the nose, choosing a beard balm with a subtle and pleasing fragrance is a must.” \r\n\r\nBest Beard Balms\r\n\r\nThe beard balm market is a crowded one, indeed. Finding one that works is about weighing ingredients against health and the key benefits of use that you’re looking for. With lime, sandalwood, tobacco, bergamot, cedar and other added scent profiles, choosing a smell that couples with your cologne and hair product is a consideration, too.\r\nWith that in mind, here are a few AskMen favorites:\r\nLive Bearded Beard Butter\r\n\r\n\r\nBeard Butter makes your beard look, feel, smell, and grow better. No joke. A creamy blend of key ingredients like shea butter, coconut oil, jojoba oil, vitamin E, and others, this stuff is formulated to help with overall beard growth and health. Throw some on and you’ll smell as though you’re walking through a citrus grove or sitting next to a crackling campfire. All natural and made in the US of A.\r\n$18 at Amazon.com \r\nBeard Bolt XL\r\n\r\n\r\nLooking to bulk up your face sweater? This one-of-a-kind balm is designed to help yield thicker beards thanks to its key ingredient, caffeine, which according to this company helps stimulate hair follicles. Shape and tame flyaways, prevent dandruff and make your beard bigger, too. That’s a lot in one balm.\r\n$22.75 at Amazon.com \r\nScotch Porter Conditioning Beard Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nBeard balm should have a smooth texture for easy application, something this Scotch Porter Beard balm figured out a while back. Like all balms, apply to clean beards so that you’re not weighting down your hair or clogging follicles. Your beard will thank you later. Bonus: This balms is free from all sulfates, silicones, parabens, phthalates, petrolatum, mineral oil, and synthetic colors.\r\n$17.99 at ScotchPorter.com \r\nDr. K. Soap Company Beard Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nFor those seeking neutral and/or a fragrant balm, Dr. K. does both. Well. Made in Ireland, all products are SLS free, paraben free, petroleum free and never tested on animals. Cool Mint and Woodland scents are at once refreshing and contain shea butter for beard conditioning while oils like coconut and vitamin E soothe and revitalize beard and skin. Styling beards will never be the same.\r\nFrom $15 at DrKSoap.com \r\nViking Revolution Beard Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nEffective and affordable, this staple beard balm from the grooming warriors over at Viking Revolution applies smoothly, taming even the burliest, thickest of beards and tinging your facial hair with the refreshing, long-lasting scent of sandalwood.\r\n$9.88 at Amazon.com \r\nCaptain Fawsett’s Private Stock Beard Balm\r\n\r\n\r\nIt’s hard to distinguish which Fawsett beard balm we lean towards more: the Private Stock, or with aromas of tobacco, cedar and leather, the Maharajah. Either would be ideal choices, really. Handmade in small batches and comes in aluminum tin.\r\n$31.91 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Razors for Men \r\n\tHow to Treat Razor Nicks and Cuts \r\n\tUltimate Mustache Grooming Guide ", "keywords": "How, Use, Beard, Balm", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "126", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/how-to-use-beard-balm/askmen-lead-image-template-1720445703.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/shaving/how-to-use-beard-balm.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:25:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "49183", "lang_id": "1", "title": "2024 Marriage Bundle", "title_slug": "2024-marriage-bundle", "title_hash": "34fe421bc10ec5e52f188538f594f994", "summary": "19 marriage resources bundled together! It’s baaaaaack!! Your absolute FAVORITE marriage bundle of the year is back and better than ever! We’ve gathered all of the best marriage resources, videos, ebooks, and printables together so that you can create a happier and more connected relationship with your spouse! We believe that marriage matters. It can…\nThe post 2024 Marriage Bundle appeared first on The Dating Divas.", "content": "

19 marriage resources bundled together! It’s baaaaaack!! Your absolute FAVORITE marriage bundle of the year is back and better than ever! We’ve gathered all of the best marriage resources, videos, ebooks, and printables together so that you can create a happier and more connected relationship with your spouse! We believe that marriage matters. It can…

The post 2024 Marriage Bundle appeared first on The Dating Divas.

", "keywords": "2024, Marriage, Bundle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "438", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Strengthen-Your-Marriage-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "95", "post_url": "https://www.thedatingdivas.com/2024-marriage-bundle/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-08 11:25:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "48595", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Mass Gainer for Skinny Guys", "title_slug": "best-mass-gainer-for-skinny-guys", "title_hash": "bf75933a6f4ffafe5f07a9c214a9e52b", "summary": "If you're a so-called \"hard gainer,\" a skinny guy who struggles to add weight to the scale, who fights hard for every added pound of muscle, you're in luck: there's a product designed specifically to help you. Mass gainers were designed for guys like you, who probably need upwards of 3,000 calories a day to pack on extra size. They work by packing a whole bunch of calories into a very small scoop of powder, thereby making it easier to drink the calories your body needs to signal growth.\r\nMany mass gainers on the market are loaded with calories – which is likely what you're looking for. Nevertheless, since a lot of them can be loaded with carbohydrates and fat sources that aren't ideal for your bod, you want to shop carefully and be sure to scan the nutrient and ingredient lists. \"A good weight gainer needs to have a higher amount of carbs, medium amount of protein, and lower level of fats,\" says Alex Carneiro, ACSM Certified Personal Trainer and Optimum Nutrition Ambassador.RELATED: Be", "content": "If you're a so-called \"hard gainer,\" a skinny guy who struggles to add weight to the scale, who fights hard for every added pound of muscle, you're in luck: there's a product designed specifically to help you. Mass gainers were designed for guys like you, who probably need upwards of 3,000 calories a day to pack on extra size. They work by packing a whole bunch of calories into a very small scoop of powder, thereby making it easier to drink the calories your body needs to signal growth.\r\nMany mass gainers on the market are loaded with calories – which is likely what you're looking for. Nevertheless, since a lot of them can be loaded with carbohydrates and fat sources that aren't ideal for your bod, you want to shop carefully and be sure to scan the nutrient and ingredient lists. \"A good weight gainer needs to have a higher amount of carbs, medium amount of protein, and lower level of fats,\" says Alex Carneiro, ACSM Certified Personal Trainer and Optimum Nutrition Ambassador.RELATED: Best-Tasting Protein Powders\r\nIf you’re set on buying a tub of a pre-made mass gainer, below are some of the best options on the market.\r\n\r\nReasons to Use a Weight Gainer\r\n\r\n\r\n\tGain weight by consuming more calories: The main reason any person is looking to use a weight or mass gain protein powder is because they are having trouble eating enough to actually put on pounds. Adding a weight gainer can help you meet the requirements for daily calories – that might otherwise seem out of reach. \"I owe my transformation to weight gainers. As a younger adult, it was incredibly challenging for me to consume the necessary amount of calories to reach my ideal weight. Between work, school, and traveling weight gainers tremendously helped me reach my goals more efficiently due to the higher amount of calories packed in them,\" says Carneiro.\r\n\tImprove muscle growth and recovery: Mass gainers also include L-glutamine, an amino acid that aids in muscle growth and muscle recovery. Glutamine increases leucine which helps lower muscle fatigue and increases growth hormone levels. The glutamine in a weight gainer can also help boost your immune system and even play a role in increasing the number of calories burned during exercise. That means you can still pack on lean muscle and not just gain body weight.\r\n\r\nYou should consult with your doctor or a nutritionist before adding a mass gainer supplement or powder to your diet to ensure that it is the proper course of action and that sure your struggles to put on weight are not stemming from something else.\r\n\r\nBest Mass Gainers for Skinny Guys\r\n\r\nOptimum Nutrition Serious Mass \r\n\r\nEach serving of Optimum Nutrition Serious Mass will yield you 1,250 calories when using water. The bulk of the calories come from carbohydrates (which sit at a heavy 252 grams) and 50 grams of protein. ON states that each bag also contains 25 vitamins and minerals, plus creatine and glutamine to help aid in proper recovery, with no sugar added. Use this powder pre-workout, post-workout, or even as a meal replacement in addition to your whole food meals.\r\n$53.99 at Amazon.com\r\nDymatize Super Mass Gainer\r\n\r\n\r\nYou want size? You're going to need to up your calorie intake. One serving, or two and a half scoops of this mass gainer powder, provides as many as 1,280 calories and 52 grams of whey protein to gain bulk and build muscle. Gluten-free and available in three different flavors including, vanilla, cookies and cream, and rich chocolate, it can be added to smoothies or shook up with milk or water. The 10.7 grams of BCAAs, a 245-gram carb count, and 17 vitamins and minerals don't hurt either.\r\n$39.98 at Amazon.com\r\nNaked Mass\r\n\r\nIn an industry full of mass gainers that have a laundry list for their ingredients, Naked Mass is a clean and natural option to consider. It’s GMO-free, growth hormone-free, soy-free, and gluten-free. It is also made without artificial colors, flavors, or sweeteners. It’s just five ingredients for 1,360 calories, 251 grams of carbohydrates, and 50 grams of protein. You can also use this mass gainer to make cookies or protein bars if you prefer to eat your extra calories rather than drink them as a shake.\r\n$66.49 at Amazon.com\r\nRELATED: The Best and Worst TikTok Nutrition Trends\r\n\r\nBSN TRUE-MASS Weight Gainer\r\n\r\n\r\nAt 700 calories per serving, this formula is a great middle-ground in the mass gainer market, since the higher options tend to be over 1,000 and the lower in the 500 range. It offers an approximate 2:1 ratio of carbs to protein, making it ideal for athletes to fuel up before workouts and support lean muscle growth. The True-Mass protein formula is designed to help support recovery from hard training sessions while adding the caloric support you need for weight gain.\r\n$81.39 at Amazon.com\r\nNaked Vegan Mass\r\n\r\n\r\nVegans trying to put on some muscle mass, or anyone looking for a mass gainer with a recipe they can actually read, need look no further. This gluten-free option from Naked contains just three ingredients: pea protein powder, organic rice protein powder, and organic maltodextrin (made from gluten-free organic tapioca) – chocolate and vanilla options include coconut sugar and organic cacao and vanilla respectively. Each serving contains 248 grams of complex carbs, 50 grams of protein, 1,230 Calories, and 10.3g of BCAAs.\r\n$61.74 at Amazon.com\r\nRivalus Clean Gainer\r\n\r\nNot only is Rivalus’ mass gainer powder made in the U.S. from high-quality calorie sources such as organic quinoa, avocado, ginger root, and wild blueberry, but it comes in a variety of unique and fun flavors. The cinnamon toast cereal option includes 30 grams of multi-source proteins and 570 calories.\r\n$55.99 at Amazon.com\r\nRELATED: Here's Why Trainers Are Switching to Cricket Protein Powder\r\n\r\nHow Do Mass Gainers Work?\r\n\r\nMass gainers are simply calorie-dense meal replacements in a sense. One shake for many people could equate to one or two actual real food meals. They work by increasing the number of macronutrients you consume on a daily basis to help you put on size. When you are in a calorie surplus, you are able to add weight and muscle gain to your frame. If you restrict calories or reach your maintenance number, you’ll either remain the same or lose weight, which is counterproductive to what you are looking to achieve with a mass gainer. \r\nAn average protein powder generally has around 100-200 calories per serving. Mass gainers, on the other hand, contain 500 to 1,500 calories per serving. The type of mass gainer you’ll need depends on your goals, preferred macronutrient breakdown, diet and allergy limitations, as well as taste/flavor. \r\n\r\nHow to Make Your Own Mass Gainer\r\n\r\nIt’s important to note that the best and most effective way to gain weight and lean muscle mass is through a caloric increase, consuming real food. \"A mass gaining powder is not the easy trick to gaining mass, proper real food nutrition, proper training to stimulate muscle mass and proper sleep/recovery is just as important,\" says CEO/Founder of True Nutrition Douglas Smith. These supplements are made to account only for what you may not be able to accomplish naturally. It’s totally possible to create a DIY-mass gainer in your own kitchen.\r\nYou’ll need some common items: a protein powder, carbohydrate source, and fat source. Creating your own mass gainer allows you to manipulate and control your macronutrient ratios rather than being confined to what’s inside the tub you purchase.\r\n\r\n\tStart with a protein powder whether you opt for whey protein or a plant-based option will be determined by your dietary restrictions.\r\n\tFor carbohydrates, you can mix in oats or fruit. For your fats, try including natural nut butters such as almond butter or peanut butter. Smith recommends good fats like olive oil and avocado oil as well.\r\n\tIn addition to increasing the calorie count, you could swap water for regular milk or plant-based milk for a thicker, more creamy blend. \r\n\tBlend it all together, add some ice and you have your own homemade mass gainer.\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Smoothie Recipes for Every Need\r\n\r\nWhen to Take Mass Gainers\r\n\r\nMass gainers should really only be consumed when you can't take in enough daily calories from whole foods alone. Some people prefer to use them to help fuel their workouts by drinking it pre-workout, some wait until after their cardio or weight training sesh so their working muscles can soak up the nutrients and aid in recovery, and some people actually use a mass gainer shake in between meals (in essence like a snack) to increase their caloric intake for the day.\r\n\"One thing to consider is that weight gainers can make some individuals feel very bloated and heavy. So the best time to consume them for optimization benefits would be after an intense workout and/or in between meals to fill in those gaps,\" says Carneiro. He adds that one should seek to enhance the results of their mass gainer supplement by complementing it with natural food sources.\r\nP.S. It is advised that if you are going to use a mass gainer, you should consider using a blender instead of a shaker bottle. Due to the thickness, a blender mixes all of the ingredients together much better than a normal shaker would.\r\n\r\nSide Effects of Mass Gainers\r\n\r\nThere are a few side effects that can be associated with the use of mass gainers. Some of these side effects can include bloating, gas, upset stomach, digestive issues, diarrhea, cramping, and even increased body fat.\r\nIf you decide to take a weight gainer you can put your regular protein powder on the shelf, as the weight gainer supplement should meet all your protein standards. In addition, most quality mass gainers include creatine, so you can skip that for now, too. \r\nAnyone should speak to their personal doctor before adding supplements to their regime, starting a new exercise program, or nutritional habits. If you are diabetic, it becomes even more important with mass gainers because of the number of carbs and sugars per serving.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Add More Protein to Your Diet\r\n\tBest Protein Powders\r\n\tThe Benefits of Increasing Your Protein Intake", "keywords": "Best, Mass, Gainer, for, Skinny, Guys", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/best-mass-gainer-for-skinny-guys/askmen-lead-image-template-1719945853.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/best-mass-gainer-for-skinny-guys.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 14:27:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "48217", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to overcome online dating fatigue", "title_slug": "how-to-overcome-online-dating-fatigue", "title_hash": "fe099e1f8a3b99a34ee700411c20b892", "summary": " How to overcome online dating fatigue Source-pexels.comIf you have an active dating site account, like Tinder, Match, and OkCupid. You know how It operates. It has to do with swiping, chatting, matching, and having high hopes that you get a response. Have you found Yourself in a position where you want to throw your phone into a river after going through a terrible chatting experience with a potential partner? Or have you encountered a bad date that made you feel like moving too far away and wanting to do something stupid? This is what they call dating fatigue.In the article, we will talk about how to overcome dating fatigue Source-pexels.comWhat is dating fatigue? Dating fatigue is when you are going through frustration and exhaustion. It happens when you have engaged in a variety of online dating without finding a pleasant relationship or connection. Dating fatigue can lead to an e", "content": "

How to overcome online dating fatigue

$\"How$

Source-pexels.com

If you have an active dating site account, like Tinder, Match, and OkCupid. You know how It operates. It has to do with swiping, chatting, matching, and having high hopes that you get a response.

Have you found Yourself in a position where you want to throw your phone into a river after going through a terrible chatting experience with a potential partner? Or have you encountered a bad date that made you feel like moving too far away and wanting to do something stupid? This is what they call dating fatigue.

In the article, we will talk about how to overcome dating fatigue

$\"How$

Source-pexels.com

What is dating fatigue?

Dating fatigue is when you are going through frustration and exhaustion. It happens when you have engaged in a variety of online dating without finding a pleasant relationship or connection.

Dating fatigue can lead to an emotional state where the lookout for a partner turns out to be a draining journey.

How to overcome online dating fatigue

Embrace the present situation

No doubt that dating sites or apps have proven successful, with a huge number of matching, dating, and getting married eventually. But it's important to know that this may not be the only path to connection.

\u2028Even though the digital age has made some alterations, there is still an increase in festivals, picnics, get-togethers, dance parties, and all sorts of events where people from different areas gather to meet each other and have fun. All you need is to enjoy the presence of the people you meet. Pay attention to people that come around you.

Be more intentional

Thousands of people go online to look for the best dating sites, both free and paid, but often, they don’t have a purpose for joining those platforms. If you find yourself in the category, it's high time you figure out exactly what you want and why you joined the platforms. Is it for a good connection or friends with benefits or you are looking for a partner, it's important to know your priorities in a relationship.

This may seem puzzling, but one of the best methods to heal from online dating heartbreak is to change your relationship reputation in the apps. Cultivate the habit of being choosy and look out for your spec. Be serious with who the app matches you with, In addition to this, Don't swipe right on anyone the app brings out, to make you more empowered and have control on who the app connects you to.

Give yourself a break

Having online dating fatigue shows that you need a break. Going off dating apps for a month or a few weeks would give you time to recharge. You can give yourself a month to prioritize personal growth and engage in a solo activity or go out to places with friends.

When you go back to your online dating activity, be choosy with who you interact with. As time goes on, you will find the right person.

Get over the stress

Dating is never an easy task. Whether you are dating online or offline, Don't let the process overwhelm you.

Once you can take charge of your mindset, you can refresh your perspective which would make you intentional in your break decision, app usage, and relationship goals.

Don't let online dating fatigue take control of you. You can promote self-compassion. All you need is the right approach. Dating apps could be utilized with a favorable outlook while maintaining your emotional well-being during the search for a soulmate.

Know when you are delaying a meet-up

Dating apps could come with different activities, it could be daunting, entertaining, and frustrating.

Nevertheless, there is usually a great appeal when swiping on the app.

Delaying a meet-up often leads to frustration, simply because you haven't met the person. It's important to know when you are procrastinating. In online dating, you can use different strategies to delay meetings. Some of the strategies may include simmering or icing.

They occur for different reasons or maybe the other person is not taking the relationship so seriously. Or perhaps the other person feels insecure about meeting in person.

You can flirtatiously tease the person you have a connection with through sweet words, but you need to build the meeting process. Reach out to the person through a private DM, and start a conversation, this method will let you know if it's time to meet in person. If you are the type that loves real interaction, fix a date for your favorite sport.

Types of Online Dating Fatigue

Swipe fatigue
Ghosting fatigue
Rejection fatigue
Conversation fatigue

Swipe fatigue

Swipe fatigue occurs when you go through burnout or exhaustion in any dating app. Swipe fatigue has some symptoms, and some of these symptoms include

anxiousness
Pressure
Insecure
Loss of interest
The urge to uninstall an app

Ghosting fatigue

Ghosting fatigue Is when you encounter emotional exhaustion and frustration when you’ve been ghosted by the person you have an interest in.

Symptoms of ghosting fatigue
Being anxious over a rejection
Feeling drained
Exhaustion
Hopeless
Becoming an introvert

Rejection fatigue

Rejection fatigue is when you are batting with exhaustion and motivation when you battle with several disappointments and rejections. This feeling would make you hopeless and make you have low self-esteem. It will make you lose interest in opportunities that come your way.

Symptoms of rejection fatigue

low self-esteem
Withdrawal
Decreased motivation
Anxiety
Lack of resilience

Conversation fatigue

Conversation fatigue is when you feel frustrated, exhausted, or bored while you are engaging in a different conversation, mostly when the people you are talking to are being unfulfilling and repetitive

Symptoms of conversation fatigue
mental fatigue
Emotional exhaustion
Loss of interest
Lack of engagement
Decreased empathy
Repetitive responses

Frequently asked questions

How do I avoid dating fatigue?

It’s advisable to be more choosy and focus on quality over quantity rather than going on different dates with different people because this will lead to frustration. Choosing a date with someone you genuinely connect with would give you a better dating experience.

Why does online dating Hurt so much?

One thing a lot of people are not aware of is that most people focus on appearance, they don’t look at personalities as individuals. And we humans are fond of judging each other through appearance, not personality. This is what causes online dating fatigue or a mismatch between two individuals

Conclusion

As we said earlier, Dating fatigue is when you are going through frustration and exhaustion. It happens when you have engaged in a variety of online dating without finding a pleasant relationship or connection. To avoid exhaustion, we advise you to focus more on quality; because a lot of people focus more on quantity. You can cultivate a genuine relationship and prioritize self-care on the other hand. Being choosy would also protect you from having online dating fatigue

", "keywords": "How, overcome, online, dating, fatigue", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ-5bLLZ0RjAc-PmPhgXIun3UGW3mQBssVt5W1yp0FcztaBn5wo4-kfxPcg3xntjH6JqUddyTe5uSPsP1kwEKp78YGDS4qp0JAWSDRmo2adpYB1Pqfk4f5S-Wa6HQJMweO2rF-MecqS35bskpnnj7WLJZn_-rgVM7HyzVS0s7k7CUeJff3oiyWeeKAx_E/w1600/E6724B71-279E-4044-9D31-0C9832DB7F95.webp", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "267", "post_url": "https://www.dispersevibes.com.ng/2024/07/how-to-overcome-online-dating-fatigue.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:48:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47959", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Men’s Tears: From Odysseus to Modern Day", "title_slug": "mens-tears-from-odysseus-to-modern-day", "title_hash": "333c295eda1f80fd6493523f93762be4", "summary": "How men can learn to navigate the stormy seas of emotion\nThe post Men’s Tears: From Odysseus to Modern Day appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

How men can learn to navigate the stormy seas of emotion

The post Men’s Tears: From Odysseus to Modern Day appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Men’s, Tears:, From, Odysseus, Modern, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "117", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/GettyImages-1498132933-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/mens-tears-from-odysseus-to-modern-day/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:29:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47958", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Are Rough Patches in Relationships Normal?", "title_slug": "are-rough-patches-in-relationships-normal", "title_hash": "a5ef7c516777ab5c84b7ef19ac5d70a6", "summary": "What you can do when your relationship is on the rocks\nThe post Are Rough Patches in Relationships Normal? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

What you can do when your relationship is on the rocks

The post Are Rough Patches in Relationships Normal? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Are, Rough, Patches, Relationships, Normal", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Blog_What-to-Do-During-a-Rough-Patch.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/are-rough-patches-in-relationships-normal/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:29:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47957", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Getting Parents on the Same Page", "title_slug": "getting-parents-on-the-same-page", "title_hash": "0693f9133d50f42ba1c09e6a8831d07c", "summary": "Dr. Gottman’s research has shown us that there are three steps to reaching a compromise.\nThe post Getting Parents on the Same Page appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Dr. Gottman’s research has shown us that there are three steps to reaching a compromise.

The post Getting Parents on the Same Page appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Getting, Parents, the, Same, Page", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Blog_22_HI.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/getting-parents-on-the-same-page/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:28:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47788", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Complete Guide to Vehicle Pickup", "title_slug": "the-complete-guide-to-vehicle-pickup", "title_hash": "3c133dc5dab02bac98aff175d24c9d2d", "summary": "The full guide to picking up girls in your car. Don’t have a home to take girls to? No problem. Pick them up IN your car – and hook up with them there!\nThis post by Skills originally appeared on our forum here.\n\nI have already made videos and posts on places to get around when your logistics suck, including using cars, and different cars routines using pyco (I will post all this at the end)… But I am going to make a comprehensive A-to-Z guide of picking up with cars.\nYou can do this for ALL GAME, from day game, online, club game etc… again all game, this is field tested. In other words I am preaching and have done what I teach and also caveat, no time machine, in other words no stuff outdated or \"back in the days\".\nBest guys at car sex from community: Jeffy RSD, obviously me Skills, Velasco (R.I.P.), @StrayDog.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"vehicle$ The full guide to picking up girls in your car. Don’t have a home to take girls to? No problem. Pick them up IN your car – and hook up with them there!

This post by Skills originally appeared on our forum here.

I have already made videos and posts on places to get around when your logistics suck, including using cars, and different cars routines using pyco (I will post all this at the end)… But I am going to make a comprehensive A-to-Z guide of picking up with cars.

You can do this for ALL GAME, from day game, online, club game etc… again all game, this is field tested. In other words I am preaching and have done what I teach and also caveat, no time machine, in other words no stuff outdated or \"back in the days\".

Best guys at car sex from community: Jeffy RSD, obviously me Skills, Velasco (R.I.P.), @StrayDog.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "The, Complete, Guide, Vehicle, Pickup", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/06/vehicle-pickup-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/complete-guide-vehicle-pickup", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:19", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47787", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Start Picking Up Girls (Beginner Guide)", "title_slug": "how-to-start-picking-up-girls-beginner-guide", "title_hash": "8e2ba5d1ff0e4dea475680da915b2864", "summary": "Who do you have to be to pick up girls? Well, you have to be YOU! But you do need to do things right. Follow these steps to start picking up girls today.\n\nContents\n1. What to Understand First\n2. How Girls See You\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"TEXT\"$ Who do you have to be to pick up girls? Well, you have to be YOU! But you do need to do things right. Follow these steps to start picking up girls today.

Contents

2. How Girls See You

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Start, Picking, Girls, Beginner, Guide", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "122", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/06/start-picking-up-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-start-picking-girls-beginner-guide", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47786", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Do When Girls Test You with Peer Pressure", "title_slug": "what-to-do-when-girls-test-you-with-peer-pressure", "title_hash": "6c77f8ffc3c2b9eab64858212b907812", "summary": "If a woman tests you publicly in a way that prompts others to support her, you’re in trouble. How do you beat the test AND the peer pressure?\nI recently watched the 2022 movie X after having read some reviews that it was a creative horror thriller set in the 1970s with lots of boobs in it. Sounded like a fun throwback!\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"what$ If a woman tests you publicly in a way that prompts others to support her, you’re in trouble. How do you beat the test AND the peer pressure?

I recently watched the 2022 movie X after having read some reviews that it was a creative horror thriller set in the 1970s with lots of boobs in it. Sounded like a fun throwback!

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "What, When, Girls, Test, You, with, Peer, Pressure", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "248", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/06/girl-tries-to-humiliate-you-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/what-do-when-girls-test-you-peer-pressure", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47785", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Approaching Girls in Bars, Clubs in a Laid Back Way", "title_slug": "approaching-girls-in-bars-clubs-in-a-laid-back-way", "title_hash": "072535506abccb07545eecbf852c064a", "summary": "Not every approach to night game needs to be hyper. There are chill ways to approach girls at night too – like “Quiet Sniper” and “The Classic Approach.”\n\nContents\nI. Night Game Misconceptions\nII. Alternative Approaches\n\n\nThe Quiet Sniper\n\n\nThe Classic Approach\n\n\nIII. Pros and Cons\nIV. Conclusion\n\nHi guys and welcome back.\nToday, I would like to discuss alternative openings in night game. Recently, I have focused on high-energy approaches. I covered an opening and hook strategy about attention grabs. These can trigger a response from girls to test their compliance before you open.\nThis approach requires you to be in a social mood and have high energy. It may also help if you are naturally extroverted.\nBut what if you are not extroverted? What if you are but do not feel like being overly social, playful, and energetic? Even outgoing guys can be socially tired and need time to cool off.\nIf you have experience, you may know this, but certain forms of night game are often the first choice ", "content": "

$\"TEXT\"$ Not every approach to night game needs to be hyper. There are chill ways to approach girls at night too – like “Quiet Sniper” and “The Classic Approach.”

Contents

I. Night Game Misconceptions

II. Alternative Approaches

\n
The Quiet Sniper
\n
\n
The Classic Approach
\n

III. Pros and Cons

IV. Conclusion

Hi guys and welcome back.

Today, I would like to discuss alternative openings in night game. Recently, I have focused on high-energy approaches. I covered an opening and hook strategy about attention grabs. These can trigger a response from girls to test their compliance before you open.

This approach requires you to be in a social mood and have high energy. It may also help if you are naturally extroverted.

But what if you are not extroverted? What if you are but do not feel like being overly social, playful, and energetic? Even outgoing guys can be socially tired and need time to cool off.

If you have experience, you may know this, but certain forms of night game are often the first choice for introverted men. Some of the best night gamers are introverted, even our own Cody Lyans, who is inactive right now.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Approaching, Girls, Bars, Clubs, Laid, Back, Way", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/06/low-energy-night-game-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/approaching-girls-bars-clubs-laid-back-way", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47784", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Social Circle Isolation via Eye Contact and Touch", "title_slug": "social-circle-isolation-via-eye-contact-and-touch", "title_hash": "c664462ba1b0f22bf1c0ba0644e15cb3", "summary": "Isolating a girl during a social circle gathering where everyone sees everything is tricky. Use Ross’s eye contact flirting + touch technique to make it happen.\nThis post by Ross originally appeared on the forum here.\n\nSo, you're out and about with some friends messing around and doing God knows what, but this one girl met this other awesome girl and they are hanging out. She decides to bring that girl (who happens to be attractive) and you all hang out.\nWhat do you do if you want to get this girl into a relationship, especially a sexual one?\nWhat I have been using for some time now is an eye contact technique. You're set up in this group situation, and let’s say y'all are just messing around in someone's room. You want to create something personal and 1 on 1 with a girl, so anything vocal is out of the question, as your friends can hear it. So my solution? Eye contact and touch.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"isolating$ Isolating a girl during a social circle gathering where everyone sees everything is tricky. Use Ross’s eye contact flirting + touch technique to make it happen.

This post by Ross originally appeared on the forum here.

So, you're out and about with some friends messing around and doing God knows what, but this one girl met this other awesome girl and they are hanging out. She decides to bring that girl (who happens to be attractive) and you all hang out.

What do you do if you want to get this girl into a relationship, especially a sexual one?

What I have been using for some time now is an eye contact technique. You're set up in this group situation, and let’s say y'all are just messing around in someone's room. You want to create something personal and 1 on 1 with a girl, so anything vocal is out of the question, as your friends can hear it. So my solution? Eye contact and touch.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Social, Circle, Isolation, via, Eye, Contact, and, Touch", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "117", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/06/social-circle-isolation-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/social-circle-isolation-eye-contact-and-touch", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47783", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Man Takes Solo Vacation After Girlfriend Unable to Pay Her Share", "title_slug": "man-takes-solo-vacation-after-girlfriend-unable-to-pay-her-share", "title_hash": "600e4f7336be6734062e13d028919203", "summary": "Money can often cause couples to argue because it plays a significant role in their lives and relationships.…", "content": "Money can often cause couples to argue because it plays a significant role in their lives and relationships.…", "keywords": "Man, Takes, Solo, Vacation, After, Girlfriend, Unable, Pay, Her, Share", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "117", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/2-picture-photoshop.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/man-takes-solo-vacation-after-girlfriend-unable-to-pay-her-share/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47782", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Popular Social Media Star Shares Surprising Cause of Her Homelessness", "title_slug": "popular-social-media-star-shares-surprising-cause-of-her-homelessness", "title_hash": "2c09eebbc35ac6c0262cd1db39178101", "summary": "An Australian social media personality has shared why she is homeless even though she earns thousands from online…", "content": "An Australian social media personality has shared why she is homeless even though she earns thousands from online…", "keywords": "Popular, Social, Media, Star, Shares, Surprising, Cause, Her, Homelessness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/iii.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/popular-social-media-star-shares-surprising-cause-of-her-homelessness/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:18:05", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47780", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Role Porn Plays in Relationships", "title_slug": "the-role-porn-plays-in-relationships", "title_hash": "6f01acd9b063a1e62dbf63bd4ce379b2", "summary": "With files from Aly Walansky.\r\n\r\nThe rise of streaming porn over the course of the 21st century means that it’s a much bigger part of most people’s lives than it was a few decades ago. \r\nHow can we know? Well, while in years past watching several hours of porn would have required renting a giant stack of tapes from a local video store, these days, it’s not only free — it doesn’t require you to even get out of bed. \r\nRELATED: The Giant AskMen Guide to Pornography\r\nSo it’s only natural that its role in people’s lives has shifted, too. And while historically, the stereotype of someone watching porn was a guy masturbating to it in secret, that’s a very small picture of what porn is — and can be — when it comes to our erotic lives. \r\nIn reality, porn can play a significant large role in the sex lives of partnered and single people, and a lot of it is quite positive. While not everyone has experience watching porn with a partner, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a fun and sexy step for a couple", "content": "With files from Aly Walansky.\r\n\r\nThe rise of streaming porn over the course of the 21st century means that it’s a much bigger part of most people’s lives than it was a few decades ago. \r\nHow can we know? Well, while in years past watching several hours of porn would have required renting a giant stack of tapes from a local video store, these days, it’s not only free — it doesn’t require you to even get out of bed. \r\nRELATED: The Giant AskMen Guide to Pornography\r\nSo it’s only natural that its role in people’s lives has shifted, too. And while historically, the stereotype of someone watching porn was a guy masturbating to it in secret, that’s a very small picture of what porn is — and can be — when it comes to our erotic lives. \r\nIn reality, porn can play a significant large role in the sex lives of partnered and single people, and a lot of it is quite positive. While not everyone has experience watching porn with a partner, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a fun and sexy step for a couple to take. \r\n\r\nWhy Porn Can Be a Big Factor in Relationships\r\n\r\nThough you probably don’t spend the majority of your time watching or thinking about porn, and may not have talked to your partner about it at all, it can have an outsize impact on your relationship. \r\nThat’s because men’s porn-watching habits often have a direct impact on their sex lives, and a couple’s sex life can seriously impact the quality of the relationship as a whole. It’s a sort of domino effect. \r\nBut how does it work? \r\nUnfortunately many guys “glean most of their sex education from watching porn and assume that their partner wants sex like that — for example hard and fast, constantly changing positions, plenty of anal and oral,” says sex therapist Jacqui Olliver. \r\nBut in straight relationships, this often isn't the reality for their partner, and that may make sex less enjoyable, or outright unpleasant. \r\nThen, an unhealthy relationship with porn can be a factor, whether you’re learning the wrong lessons from it or not. \r\n“A lot of men who become dependent on this kind of stimulation to such a degree that they become unable to respond to intimacy with their partners,” says Wendy Strgar, founder of Good Clean Love.\r\nUnsurprisingly, feeling like your partner would rather jerk off to porn than have sex with you is never a pleasant feeling. Often, these kinds of situations lead to these partners feeling abandoned and resentful of their partner’s porn use. \r\nRELATED: Am I Addicted to Internet Porn? \r\nIt’s not all doom and gloom, however. Taking porn out of the closet, as it were, and making it something you both feel comfortable discussing, can turn it into a positive factor in your relationship. \r\n“If you are using porn to replace intimacy with a partner this may well be a sign of bigger trouble,” says Strgar. But “conversely, some couples choose pornographic titles that are stimulating for both of them and get both turned on and new ideas to bring into their own lovemaking.”\r\n“Some of the conversations that porn sparks in the couples I work with include fantasies — what they like, dislike and daydream about, but also boundaries — what is totally off-limits,” says Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. \r\nFrom that perspective, learning about each other’s relationship to porn can be an important building block in a couple’s shared erotic experience. \r\nRELATED: Things Many Women Secretly Want in Bed \r\n\r\nTalking About Porn With a Partner\r\n\r\nSo how do you get to the space where you’re watching porn with a partner or using it to learn how to please each other better? It starts with having a conversation — or several — about it. \r\n“Consider how you want to discuss porn with your partner in the most appropriate way, depending on the level and quality of intimacy you guys already share,” says Brown. \r\nMeaning, if it’s early days yet and your partner hasn’t yet gotten comfortable with the subject, it may be too early. But as the relationship progresses, hopefully you’ll get a sense of what their appetite is for talking about sex. \r\nOnce that feels natural, Sara Brown, the press and communication manager at Lustery, says, you can “let the topic of porn be part of that conversation if you feel like it's coming up naturally.”\r\n“It's important first to understand your partner's feelings about porn,” she explains. “Do they watch it? Do they like it? How comfortable are they with you watching it? Would they prefer to watch it together?”\r\n“Making broad statements or asking value questions about porn to your partner can lead to miscommunication,” Brown notes. “Choose to be direct, personal, and vulnerable instead — this way, you allow your partner to support you (and each other).”\r\nRELATED: How Women Really Feel About Male Masturbation Habits\r\nAlong with sharing, you can also explore asking each other about your respective relationships to porn. This could include questions like: \r\n\r\nHow often do you watch porn? When did you first start watching porn?How do you feel about porn?What kinds of porn do you find hot? What kinds of porn turn you off?\r\n\r\nHowever, it’s possible that the first attempt to have this conversation doesn’t go smoothly. \r\n“It can be anxiety-inducing for many couples talking about their own masturbation habits,” says Emily Depasse, MSW, M.Ed, sex educator and Everlywell partner. “While sex with one another may come easily, talking about masturbation habits can lead to fear of judgment or even jealousy from our partners. With this in mind, realize that your partner may be just as nervous as you in bringing it up.”\r\nThat being said, sex therapist Dr. Melissa Cook at FunWithFeet and Sofia Gray notes that, like any aspect of sex, this doesn’t have to be a one-time conversation with your partner.\r\n“By regularly revisiting the conversation and checking in with each other, you can ensure that you remain on the same page and it will be easier and quicker to work on any issues,” she says. \r\n\r\nWatching Porn With a Partner\r\n\r\n“One couple I’m working with says that talking about porn has increased their confidence in bed, because the frank discussions have helped them to accept that they’re not required to look or act like porn stars,” says O’Reilly. “He felt pressure to ‘perform’ like the men in the videos (hard on demand, constant thrusting) and was relieved when she explained that this is the opposite of what she wants in bed.”\r\nRELATED: Porn vs. Sex — Porn Stars Reveal the Differences \r\nOne woman, she says, “saw a woman spit all over her hands in a blow job scene and this is what inspired her to try using lube for oral sex.” \r\nAnd yet another couple “found that they were really turned on by the group sex scenes, but didn’t want to try it in real life — instead, they take turns blindfolding one another and talking about group scenes.”\r\nSo, being open about porn with a partner can make you feel more open and free in bed. And that may lead to a great increase in confidence, and much more fun. But how, exactly, do you go about watching it together? \r\n“To ensure that both partners feel respected and comfortable, start by discussing boundaries, preferences and concerns,” says Cook. \r\n“This is particularly important if [either of you has] a history of sexual trauma, as certain scenes (e.g., rough sex or penetration) might be triggering,” Brown agrees. “Establish clear boundaries first.”\r\nRELATED: How to Support a Partner Who Was Abused \r\nDepasse believes it’s important to figure out what you both want out of this exploration. \r\n“Are you interested in watching the same type of porn? Acting out similar scenes or along with the porn? Are you looking to masturbate with and alongside one another?” she asks. “Once you identify what you're seeking, you can better know what to look for.”\r\nDon’t expect everything to click right away, however, Depasse says. \r\n“It may take some time to find your way,” she notes. “If you've never watched porn with someone else, or it's your first time watching porn with this partner, there could be some awkward moments at first, but don't let them discourage you.”\r\nRELATED: How to Make Sex Less Awkward \r\nIn fact, Brown suggests leaning into the awkwardness and making it intentionally un-sexy to start off with. \r\n“It's best to watch porn together when you're not already aroused,” she says. “Discuss your likes and dislikes about the scenes. Having a selection of videos ready can be helpful so you can switch whenever you feel it necessary or turn it off altogether.”\r\nThat way, you’ll be able to get a sense of what might work and what wouldn’t — and then approach it later better able to properly make an erotic experience out of it. \r\nRELATED: Women Share Their Favorite Porn Sites \r\n“If you guys end up getting aroused and initiating sex, keep the focus on each other and keep the verbal communication going,” says Brown. “Have fun with each other and the porn you are watching. And if the porn becomes distracting, turn it off; you can always repeat the experience another day in the future if you've found it exciting or useful.”\r\n\r\nNavigating Your Differing Tastes in Porn\r\n\r\nAll of the positives that can arise from being open about your porn-watching habits with a partner overlook one key thing, though — and that’s the fear that your partner may find what you watch to be disgusting. \r\nWhile some of that fear is likely simply sexual shame speaking — shame that so many people have from growing up in sex-negative cultures — there’s also an element of realism to it. \r\nThough this may be less of an issue today than it was in the past, particularly in straight relationships, it’s not unheard of for women to find their male partners’ sexual fantasies shocking or otherwise disturbing. \r\nRELATED: What to Do When Your Partner's Sex Fantasy Freaks You Out \r\nOn the flip side, it’s also possible for guys to find their partners’ porn-watching habits gross, too. So how do you address that, should it come to pass? \r\n“Keep in mind that the sex we watch on-screen often differs from what we want in reality,” says Brown. “Porn belongs to the world of our deepest fantasies, which frequently are meant to stay there — in the world of fantasy. Just as much as it's not porn's responsibility to be a faithful representation of what we like to do in our actual sex lives, and certainly is not to be taken as a sex education course.”\r\nRELATED: Why Porn Is a Terrible Form of Sex Education \r\n“Never yuck someone's yum,” says Depasse. “If you have differing tastes, see if you can find something to compromise on without shaming your partner's desires. If you enjoy sex with one another, there's likely something you can find that satisfies both of your appetites.”\r\n“It’s important to approach these conversations with care and empathy so begin with an open conversation about preferences, needs, desires and try not to judge each other,” says Cook. “Compromise is key, and you need to try and find common ground by searching for content that has aspects both parties enjoy.”\r\nShe also notes that you could take turns picking porn clips to watch, but notes that you should “never pressure the other person into watching something they don't want to. Instead, be respectful of their boundaries and try to find a healthy medium.”\r\nRELATED: What Is Kink-Shaming? (And Why You Should Avoid Doing It) \r\nUltimately, if you can come to the conversation from a place of curiosity rather than judgment, it could be a learning opportunity for both of you, Brown says. \r\n“If there's a ‘mismatch’ in your tastes, you can transform it into food for thought to better understand each other's inner worlds and enhance your shared intimacy,” she notes. “A non-judgmental approach is essential! We can learn so much from a taste difference if we see it as an opportunity to learn, grow alone and together, and challenge our sex views.”\r\nAnd if you really can’t find any porn that you both want to watch together? Depasse notes you can always go old-school and add a mirror to your bedroom and watch yourselves do the deed, instead of performers. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Explain Your Fetish to Your Partner Porn Moves You Should Avoid in Real-Life Sex \r\nWhat to Do If You're Caught Masturbating", "keywords": "The, Role, Porn, Plays, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/08/12-050940-porn_and_relationships.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/porn-and-relationships.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:17:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47781", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Never Have I Ever: Gotten My Penis Pierced", "title_slug": "never-have-i-ever-gotten-my-penis-pierced", "title_hash": "da46441682ef7f52aef62e0b7da33f2d", "summary": "Here's What It's Really Like to Get the Infamous 'Prince Albert' Piercing Down There", "content": "Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).\r\nWell, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.\r\nThough most of the guys searching to alter their member are looking to increase their size, there are a lot of ways to modify your penis — including piercings.\r\nI was chatting with my friend InjectorChris — who's talked with AskMen before about the rise in penis and scrotum fillers — and he mentioned that some of his patients might come to him for further modification after falling in love with what needles can do to the region through piercings. He introduced me to his friend, Michael, a 33-year-old gay man living in New York City.\r\nMichael began with the tradition of getting a yearly piercing, beginning with his ears and nose. Last year, he decided that he was feeling brave enough to decorate his dick with a Prince Albert piercing.\r\nThe Prince Albert piercing is a genital piercing that passes through the urethra and exits through the underside of the glans, aka head, of the penis. The name \"Prince Albert\" is often attributed to Prince Albert, the husband of Queen Victoria. It's not historically documented, but there's a very long-standing rumor that Prince Albert himself had this piercing. Hence, it carries on his namesake. Probably not the legacy the royal expected, but there you go.\r\nRELATED: All the Different Sex Slang You Need to Know \r\nAs Michael learned when he had to step back from sex for a month, a Prince Albert piercing can take up to four to six weeks to heal. However, when it's done, you're left with a pretty, somewhat kinky body modification. \r\nMichael jumped on the phone with AskMen to talk about how getting a penis piercing compared to his later experience with penis fillers (which one do you guess had a longer healing time?), how his partners reacted, and whether he'd get one again. Keep reading. \r\nAskMen: Before you got a penis piercing yourself, what were your thoughts about them?\r\nMichael: I’ve always thought that they’re pretty cool and interesting. Whenever I would come across one, it definitely struck my mind in an intriguing sort of fashion. I’ve always been uniquely attracted to them and like that. \r\nI pierced my ear and nose; it was like a once-a-year trend where I would pierce something else. So towards the end of last year, I was just, like, you know what? Why not do it? It’s my birthday and the holidays. Just go for it. \r\nRELATED: 69 Sex Things Every Guy Should Try at Least Once \r\nI’ve always loved aesthetic services. I saw some articles which really pushed me and gave me the confidence that I needed, which led me into doing things like scrotum and penis filler.\r\nRegarding needles, how did the experience of getting a penis piercing compare to penis filler? \r\nI honestly would think the penis filler was easier. The needle aspects in either weren’t really bad. For this piercing itself, the cleaning was like the worst part. With the penis filler, you honestly don’t even really notice it. You get it done, and then it’s like, it’s over, but piercings, you have to clean, you have to wait for it to heal.\r\nWhat was the experience of getting the penis piercing like? \r\nI ended up going to the same parlor where I got my nose done. I had a friend come with me for the camaraderie of it all. It was really nice and the piercer was super knowledgeable. We kind of went over anatomy, where it’s going to be placed, sizing, and what kind of jewelry we’re going to do.\r\nRELATED: What Gay Guys Could Teach Straight Guys About Getting Kinky \r\nThe actual procedure began with using a cotton swab to clean the urethra. Then from there, she was like, “One, two, three!” and then [the needle] just like, went in and out, and it was done.\r\nOverall, the process took, maybe like, 20 minutes. It really wasn’t that bad. \r\nWhat piercing do you have? \r\nI have a Prince Albert. I originally thought I wanted an open one [circular barbell], but it was getting snagged a bit, so I have a closed [captive ring] one now. And I like that a lot more. \r\nSo how has it impacted your sex life? \r\nIt’s definitely a conversation starter. Some people are a little iffy about it, but it’s super easy to remove. Most of the time, I find that guys are intrigued by it. And then, a couple of times, people are a little freaked out by it! But I think if anything, they are definitely more excited because you don’t see it terribly often.\r\nRELATED: What to Do When Your Partner’s Fantasy Freaks You Out \r\nWould you get another one, or do any more body mods? \r\nIn the piercing space, probably not. I’m thinking about going back for one more round of penis filler, but in terms of jewelry, probably not. \r\nAnd what advice would you have for someone who’s considering getting a piercing? \r\nDefinitely do research on the place you’re going to. Make sure it looks clean, make sure they answer your questions, and that you’re comfortable. And be prepared for the healing process. There is a bit of sexual downtime. I probably waited like a month and a half. \r\nHow did the piercing live up to your expectations? \r\nThe only challenging aspect was finding the right jewelry. Had I known in the beginning, I wouldn’t have gone with the closed loop. I actually like the way it looks a lot better. \r\nIt lives up to the fantasy that I built in my head. It looks very cool but it doesn’t impact function or anything. It does enhance stimulation. So, I would say it definitely lives up to the fantasy.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nNever Have I Ever: Worn a Chastity DeviceUnrealistic Penis Expectations That Contribute to Sexual Anxieties\r\nAverage Erect Penis Girth and Length, Revealed", "keywords": "Never, Have, Ever:, Gotten, Penis, Pierced", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/never-have-i-ever-gotten-my-penis-pierced/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1719600038.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/never-have-i-ever-gotten-my-penis-pierced.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:17:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47779", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Signs You're a Bad Kisser", "title_slug": "signs-youre-a-bad-kisser", "title_hash": "eb1a29bc488ab4937d73c6ad87d18556", "summary": "If you and your girlfriend shake hands more than you kiss, she may be saying you're a bad kisser by keeping her lips sealed.", "content": "Short of being terrible in bed, being a bad kisser is many a young man’s biggest fear. \r\nBut how can you tell if you’re good or if you’re a bumbling, sloppy mess? \r\nRELATED: 7 First Kiss Mistakes to Avoid, According to Experts\r\nMost people, women especially, won’t be so forward as to tell you straight up that you aren’t a good kisser, but there are ways of finding out through more subtle cues. \r\nIf any of the following are happening to you regularly, it might be time to brush up on your kissing skills:\r\n1. They’re Backing Away From You\r\nIf you are kissing your partner and you can feel them leaning backwards or wriggling away from you, this is a strong sign that you are kissing too forcefully. \r\nIf their body language is communicating something of a retreat, they might be trying to modulate the intensity of the kisses you’re giving them. Take their cue, and relax: adjust your body so that it’s leaning into them less aggressively, and take it down a notch to a more gentle, intimate kiss.\r\n2. Your Breath Is Cringe-Worthy\r\nBad breath is an absolute deal breaker for a good kiss, so you’ll need to make sure that you’re rocking fresh breath at all times. But, again, it can be difficult to know if you have bad breath, so look for cues from people around you, and not just those you’re kissing. \r\nYou might have an unusually honest co-worker or friend who will tell you if you need to freshen up, but if people are guarding their noses when you talk to them, you’re going to need to up your oral hygiene. \r\nIt’s pretty simple, guys: Brush your teeth twice a day, floss every day, and carry mints or gum for when you’ve had a particularly onion-heavy lunch.\r\nRELATED: The Proper Execution of the First Kiss\r\n3. Most of Your Tongue Is Inside Their Mouth\r\nWhile kissing, take stock of how much of your tongue has made it inside your partner’s mouth. Contrary to the belief of a lot of men, less is often more when it comes to tongues and kissing. \r\nWhile some people enjoy a really deep-tongue kiss, they’re not the majority, and if this is an early-going kiss, your tongue should be gently probing, not swishing around the inside of their mouth. \r\nRELATED: Best Kissing Techniques and Positions\r\nSo if you’re finding that you’re well inside their mouth, there’s a good chance you’re not making this a pleasant experience for them. Again, just simply back off a little, and you’ll markedly improve the situation.\r\n4. You’re Darting Your Tongue In and Out\r\nLet’s stay on the topic of tongues, given that they’re an important component of kissing (and a common way to get it wrong). The movement of your tongue should be gentle and consistent, not darting, frantic or sporadic. \r\nYour partner will probably give you cues if your kissing technique is too abrupt, but you should also be able to gauge this yourself. Consider it from their perspective: Would you want someone else’s wet tongue flapping around your mouth like a freshly caught fish? Probably not.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About French Kissing\r\n5. Your Teeth Keep Knocking\r\nTeeth knocks happen from time to time, even to the best kissers, but if you are constantly bumping teeth, this is a sign that you need to brush up on your technique. Again, this probably means you’re being too forceful, or the positioning of your mouth needs adjusting: make sure that your mouth is ajar and your teeth have some coverage from your lips.\r\n6. They Don’t Want to Keep Kissing\r\nIf your date has been going very well and you’ve landed a first kiss, pay attention to their response after that point. If you go in for further kisses and they pulls away or doesn’t seem interested, it could be because your technique was lacking. \r\nThere are many reasons someone might kiss you once and then not want to kiss again, so don’t chalk this one up entirely to you being a bad kisser, but if this is one of a combination of a few signs on this list, that should be a pretty good sign that you could stand to be a little smoother next time.\r\n7. They Have to Keep Gasping For Breath\r\nKissing should be a romantic, enjoyable experience, not a frantic ordeal reminiscent of an asthma attack. \r\nMake sure you are giving your partner enough space to breathe, and if they’re constantly backing off to come up for air, there’s a good chance that you might be being too overbearing with your technique. \r\nRELATED: How to Be the Best Kisser You Can Be\r\nGood kissing on screen often looks passionate and intense, but in real life it generally has lots of pauses and quiet, tentative moments when your lips are brushing tenderly, so try to make sure you manage to vary the intensity a little bit.\r\n8. You Have Stiff Body Language\r\nKissing is something you do with your lips, but it’s not entirely limited to what’s happening with your mouths. If your posture is stiff and awkward, your partner will notice this, and it will make the experience poorer for both of you. \r\nTry to adopt relaxed body language even if you’re nervous, and make sure you are using your hands to full effect, by placing them on their thighs, on the small of their back or by cupping their face. Good hand placement and usage can really take a so-so kiss to the next level — but don't try to get too handsy without warning. RELATED: Signs That Your First Date Was a SuccessKissing can be a nerve-wracking experience, and there are lots of ways to get it wrong, but these tend to fall into the same category: being too forceful or frantic, and not giving your partner enough space. If you can get this under control — and, let’s face it, it’s not really that hard — you will be an expert kisser in no time.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhen to Kiss Your DateWorst First Date Situations The Best Places to Make Out", "keywords": "Signs, Youre, Bad, Kisser", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/09/23-044425-signs_you_re_a_bad_kisser.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/5_dating_list.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:17:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47778", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Common Sex Mistakes Men Make", "title_slug": "common-sex-mistakes-men-make", "title_hash": "384d1214e45232137d4c77c6f12b07bc", "summary": "While most guys would like to believe they’re regular Casanovas in the sack, the truth of the matter is that true sex gods are comparatively rare, and every one of us has made our fair share of mistakes in the bedroom. \r\n(Plus, we were all fumbling virgins at one point, so let’s not all flatter ourselves.)But there is a bright side to these sexual foibles, as these mishaps are used as learning experiences for better sex in the future. \r\nIn case you need a recap of the mistakes you’ve made, or you’re someone who’s never had sex before curious about what could go wrong, here are 10 of the most widespread (but redeemable) mistakes we’ve made in bed — some of which, you’ll realize, happen more than others.\r\n1. Cutting Foreplay Short\r\nIn part, perhaps, because it’s called “foreplay,” guys sometimes don’t take non-penetrative stuff seriously. This is a big mistake if you’re looking to properly please a vagina-haver. \r\nOf course it’s understandable to be excited for full-on penetration, but t", "content": "While most guys would like to believe they’re regular Casanovas in the sack, the truth of the matter is that true sex gods are comparatively rare, and every one of us has made our fair share of mistakes in the bedroom. \r\n(Plus, we were all fumbling virgins at one point, so let’s not all flatter ourselves.)But there is a bright side to these sexual foibles, as these mishaps are used as learning experiences for better sex in the future. \r\nIn case you need a recap of the mistakes you’ve made, or you’re someone who’s never had sex before curious about what could go wrong, here are 10 of the most widespread (but redeemable) mistakes we’ve made in bed — some of which, you’ll realize, happen more than others.\r\n1. Cutting Foreplay Short\r\nIn part, perhaps, because it’s called “foreplay,” guys sometimes don’t take non-penetrative stuff seriously. This is a big mistake if you’re looking to properly please a vagina-haver. \r\nOf course it’s understandable to be excited for full-on penetration, but taking the time to make sure your partner is properly in the mood, lubricated and ready to go will make a huge different in quality for both of you. \r\nRELATED: Why Every Guy Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex \r\n2. Having a Messy Pubic Situation\r\nSometimes you know when you’re going to have sex with someone for the first time; sometimes it just kind of comes out of nowhere, like a one-night stand or the unexpected beginning of a friends-with-benefits situation. If you haven’t spent any time preparing your body to be looked upon naked, there’s a decent chance your pubic situation is not ideal, with your wild and untamed pubic hair resembling a wild tumbleweed in a deserted Western town.\r\nOn the opposite end of the pubic spectrum, we might have shaved the day before an unexpected dalliance and our pubic area is covered in that itchy, unexpected rash due to both brutish techniques and insufficient tools (because shopping for razors is expensive, so we don’t really do that too much).\r\n3. Getting Too Aggressive\r\nWhether we thrust too hard, say something too vulgar, or use our fingers as if we’re operating a jackhammer, sometimes we can get a little too aggressive in the throes of passion, and need to be told to back the fuck off. \r\nRELATED: Porn Moves You Shouldn't Try in Real Life \r\nWhile a little aggression can certainly be appreciated, it’s really something you need a clear and enthusiastic consent for before launching into. (More about that later.)\r\n4. Cumming Early & Then Tapping Out Completely\r\nFor a few different reasons, guys sometimes orgasm earlier than they’re expected to. While this might be embarrassing — and even scorned by some less understanding sex partners — if it’s unintentional, it’s understandable, and these things happen. \r\nThe real mistake, however, is taking your own climax as a sign that the whole sexual narrative has come to a close. Great lovers know that sex can keep going, and opting for something like face-sitting, fingering or toy use to keep things spicy means you might have a shot at round 2 later on. \r\n5. Facial Hair Irritating Their Skin During Oral \r\nIf you’re performing cunnilingus on your partner, your face is getting up close and personal with their crotch. Which, from your perspective, is probably awesome. But if you have a little stubble, it may not be as awesome from your partner’s perspective. \r\nOn the other hand, a bushy beard, especially if it’s been well groomed with beard oil, may even be softer. So take your pick: Either clean-shaven or full-bearded. Middle of the road facial hair may produce some serious irritation. \r\n6. Not Douching\r\nThis one’s for the gays and bis — as with untamed pubic hair being a consequence of an unexpected hookup, sometimes you’re thrust into a hot situation without having been able to use an anal douche. And sometimes your top comes away from the situation with a little “paint” on them. Not the end of the world — but definitely embarrassing. \r\n7. Putting the Condom on Backwards\r\nDespite being taught this lesson as far back as elementary school, a condom is not easy to put on. You’re almost guaranteed to put the thing on backwards in the first attempt. I’ve never actually gone as far to roll a condom down my shaft backwards, because that would be difficult to do, but I’m sure somebody somewhere has.\r\nRELATED: How to Choose the Best Condoms \r\n8. Accidentally Trying for Anal\r\nIf you’re having sex in the dark, you don’t always have a clear sense of where everything is. And, if you’re having sex with someone who has a vagina, well, their anus is usually pretty nearby. So sometimes, in an attempt to get ourselves in there, guys hit that other part of the anatomy that is located rather close to the intended target. \r\nSince condoms don’t come with a GPS, you instead have to feel around as if you’re playing a game of pin the dick on the vagina. If you ever find yourself in a situation such as this, ask your partner for a favor: grab the penis and do the guiding for us, pretty please?.RELATED: Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex \r\n9. Not Talking About Consent\r\nLots of the time, sex unfurls in a kind of messy fumble and there’s no time or space for talking about or clearly establishing consent beforehand — at least, that’s what many guys think.\r\nThe truth is that taking a little bit more time to check in with the other person before trying a new move or position isn’t rocket science, and it’s not a mood-killer — it shows you care about their enjoyment and well-being and aren’t a jerk, which is hot. \r\nRELATED: Examples of How to Ask for Consent \r\n10. Getting a Little Too Influenced by Porn\r\nThe average guy watches a lot of porn. All of us. And because the average guy didn’t get very comprehensive sex education growing up, sometimes he may attempt difficult positions that look way better than they feel. \r\nThis may also lead guys to say things to their partners that they’ve heard in hardcore porn clips — things they shouldn’t say without knowing how said partner will feel about it — turning sex into some strange monologue that has them saying things that ultimately feed their egos, rather than nourishing the shared erotic moment. \r\nUltimately, none of these mistakes are the end of the world — but now that you’ve been educated, it’s your job to stop making them!\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWorst Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped BelievingSex Moves Women Confirmed Are Deal Breakers", "keywords": "Common, Sex, Mistakes, Men, Make", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "124", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/01/22-115535-common_sex_mistakes_men_make.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/common-sex-mistakes-men-make.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-02 13:17:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47522", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Queer Hubs Like Atlanta Matter Now More Than Ever", "title_slug": "why-queer-hubs-like-atlanta-matter-now-more-than-ever", "title_hash": "fb2b9b8216b6c1ff178198735f4c3a37", "summary": "This Pride Month, I’m paying tribute to the city I grew up in.\nThe post Why Queer Hubs Like Atlanta Matter Now More Than Ever appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

As conservative lawmakers and activists target LGBTQ+ communities nationwide, queer hubs like Atlanta are more critical than ever. The city’s history in Pride’s timeline may often be overlooked, but for the people in the Southeast United States, Atlanta’s 1969 Lonesome Cowboys raid was their Stonewall; this city is their San Francisco, their Chicago, their West Village. Because in Atlanta, “y’all” means “all.”

“Contrary to popular belief, Atlanta is such a queer mecca,” said Taylor Alxndr, the legendary Atlanta drag queen and head of the drag family House of Alxndr. “You are constantly surrounded by queer and trans people, living outwardly, and then their truth. You’re also surrounded by so much history that can’t be ignored.”

This Pride Month, I’m paying tribute to the city I grew up in—to its history and roots in the earliest days of the movement for LGBTQ+ rights, and, in particular, how much Atlanta has long embraced drag culture. I photographed Alxndr and other local queens from Atlanta around the ongoing gentrification in Midtown.

“I feel very fortunate to have come into myself in this wonderful city,” Alxndr said. “It keeps me on my toes and always thinking of what’s next and how we can be even more inclusive and progressive.”

$\"drag$

If you walk another 100 yards from where Dotte Com stands on the southeast corner of 10th Street and Piedmont Avenue in Atlanta’s “gayborhood,” you’ll be in Piedmont Park. The more than 200-acre park has been home to the city’s Pride festival since 1970, and it’s held in October to coincide with National Coming Out Day.

$\"drag$

Molly Alxndr poses in front of a Tulum-centric Mexican restaurant, which used to house Outwrite Bookstore and Coffeehouse, an LGBTQ-owned and -themed bookstore and cafe. Outwrite closed in 2012.

$\"drag$

Taylor Alxndr is also the executive director and co-founder of Southern Fried Queer Pride, a community arts organization providing spaces centering LGBTQ+ folks in the South.

$\"drag$

Alxndr uses drag and artistry to “create intentional spaces for folks across identities.”

$\"four$

Molly Alxndr, Taylor Alxndr, Dotte Com, and JayBella Banks at one of the rainbow crosswalks, which was installed in 2015 in Midtown.

$\"\"$

JayBella Banks in the parking lot of Blake’s on the Park, a gay bar that’s been a local institution for over 35 years.

The post Why Queer Hubs Like Atlanta Matter Now More Than Ever appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Why, Queer, Hubs, Like, Atlanta, Matter, Now, More, Than, Ever", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "101", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/ATLPride_DragQueens_8-scaled.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/26/why-queer-hubs-like-atlanta-matter-now-more-than-ever/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-01 14:51:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47521", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Conservatives’ Second Act Is Waiting for the Biden Intermission to End", "title_slug": "conservatives-second-act-is-waiting-for-the-biden-intermission-to-end", "title_hash": "1495bcf777887da08f168a9af3a22d4e", "summary": "I'll say it yet again: Overturning abortion rights was just the beginning for conservatives.\nThe post Conservatives’ Second Act Is Waiting for the Biden Intermission to End appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

One of the few bright spots in the aftermath of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade two years ago is the way in which voters have responded in droves to support abortion rights and access. Abortion is a winning issue for progressives and Democrats.

I really hope President Joe Biden got that message going into tonight’s first presidential debate, because everything about this year’s election is different—including the role abortion policy will play in it. Reversing Roe wasn’t just some exercise in constitutional rulemaking by Federalist Society ideologues; it was a direct assault on our democratic norms made possible by Trump appointees who shamelessly reversed precedent to usher in a new era of socially regressive policies. All by judicial fiat.

The Supreme Court’s power grab in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization was just a preview of how conservatives plan to govern from here on out, including the role the Court will play in enforcing Project 2025’s authoritarian agenda.

This is not business-as-usual electoral politics—this is American-bred fascism, and it requires a different response that goes beyond messaging and targeting districts around “Restoring Roe.” We need to plainly talk about both the reproductive oppression and threat to democracy that conservatives pose in the same breath. Reproductive oppression is a hallmark of authoritarianism, and we know conservatives are not stopping with upending abortion access. IVF and contraception are under threat right now, and unwinding access to both will be a key policy goal of any incoming GOP administration. And while we wait for this never-ending Supreme Court term to wrap, the justices will start the next one in October by squarely stepping into the fight over gender-affirming care for minors.

Dobbs was always just the beginning. The upcoming election will offer up a clear understanding of what conservatives’ second act looks like.

The post Conservatives’ Second Act Is Waiting for the Biden Intermission to End appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Conservatives’, Second, Act, Waiting, for, the, Biden, Intermission, End", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Fallout-June-Roe-v-Wade-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/27/conservatives-second-act-is-waiting-for-the-biden-intermission-to-end/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-01 14:50:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47520", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Supreme Court Rules Idaho Doctors Can Provide Emergency Abortions—For Now", "title_slug": "supreme-court-rules-idaho-doctors-can-provide-emergency-abortionsfor-now", "title_hash": "f3cb93fd41ef6861d4d5ba0b59371631", "summary": "The Idaho v. United States decision allows a district court injunction against full enforcement of Idaho's abortion ban to go back into effect, but also allows the legal battle to continue.\nThe post Supreme Court Rules Idaho Doctors Can Provide Emergency Abortions—For Now appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

On Wednesday, Bloomberg reported that the Supreme Court briefly uploaded a decision in the combined cases Idaho v. United States and Moyle v. United States, and then deleted it. The official decision, released today, confirms the Court has dismissed the case as “improvidently granted.” This means a previous district court injunction blocking full enforcement Idaho’s abortion ban will go back into effect, allowing doctors to provide emergency abortions. But it also allows litigation in the case to continue.

“For now, we can take a collective sigh of relief for pregnant people in Idaho,” Rebecca Gibron, CEO of Planned Parenthood Great Northwest, Hawai‘i, Alaska, Indiana, Kentucky—which includes Idaho—said in a statement. “But the truth is that access to life-saving abortion care in an emergency should never have been in doubt. Protecting pregnant people in emergency situations is the bare minimum this court could do, and yet they kicked the decision down to a lower court.”

At issue in this case is whether the state of Idaho can fully enforce its abortion ban, which has a health exception that applies only when the pregnant person’s life is at risk. The federal government argues that this violates the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act (EMTALA), which requires hospitals that receive federal funds to provide “stabilizing” care to patients experiencing medical emergencies that threaten their life or health.

Before Idaho’s ban even went into effect, the federal government sued, arguing that EMTALA—a federal law—preempts Idaho state law. This is in line with the Constitution’s supremacy clause and long-standing judicial precedent in cases where federal and state law conflict. So the district court, determining that the government was likely to win its challenge, issued a preliminary injunction, blocking full enforcement of Idaho’s abortion ban and allowing doctors to provide emergency abortions as required by EMTALA.

Idaho asked the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals to block that injunction. The Ninth Circuit declined, so Idaho asked the Supreme Court to intervene. The Supreme Court agreed to do so, and blocked the injunction, allowing full enforcement of Idaho’s ban while it considered the case.

“The on-the-ground impact was immediate,” Justice Elena Kagan wrote in her concurring opinion, joined by Justice Sonia Sotomayor and in part by Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. “To ensure appropriate medical care, the State’s largest provider of emergency services had to airlift pregnant women out of Idaho roughly every other week, compared to once in all of the prior year (when the injunction was in effect).”

The Supreme Court has now dismissed the case as “improvidently granted,” its way of effectively saying, “Oops, we shouldn’t have taken this case at this time.” This is not a decision on the merits of the case.

In fact, like the Court’s decision earlier this month in FDA v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine, the case regarding the medication abortion drug mifepristone, this is not a decision in favor of abortion access, or even a final decision on the case itself. Both issues are likely to make their way back to the Supreme Court in the fall when the next term begins.

What’s more, the decision applies only to Idaho. It will not affect another EMTALA-related case out of Texas, where the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that EMTALA does not preempt Texas law, allowing hospitals to deny emergency abortion care. During oral arguments in Idaho v. United States, Solicitor General Elizabeth Prelogar (who happens to be from Idaho herself) said that, in addition to Idaho, there are six more states with abortion bans that violate EMTALA. This decision will have no bearing on any of them.

Though she concurred with the Court’s opinion in part, Jackson also dissented in part, arguing that instead of dismissing the case as improvidently granted, the Supreme Court should rule on the merits now.

“We cannot simply wind back the clock to how things were before the Court injected itself into this matter,” wrote Jackson, who also read aloud from her dissent today. “Our intervention has already distorted this litigation process. We permitted Idaho’s law to go into effect by staying the District Court’s injunction in the first place, then allowed this matter to sit on our merits docket for five months while we considered the question presented. It is too little, too late for the Court to take a mulligan and just tell the lower courts to carry on as if none of this has happened.”

Her dissent also referenced the Texas case, acknowledging that this issue will be back before the Supreme Court in no time.

“While this Court dawdles and the country waits, pregnant people experiencing emergency medical conditions remain in a precarious position, as their doctors are kept in the dark about what the law requires,” Jackson wrote. “This Court had a chance to bring clarity and certainty to this tragic situation, and we have squandered it. And for as long as we refuse to declare what the law requires, pregnant patients in Idaho, Texas, and elsewhere will be paying the price.”

Justice Amy Coney Barrett, joined by Justice Brett Kavanaugh and Chief Justice John Roberts, concurred with the majority, seemingly reassured by the federal government’s argument that EMTALA does not force physicians to participate in abortion care over religious or conscience objections.

EMTALA requires hospitals to provide emergency stabilizing treatment to patients regardless of their ability to pay as a condition of receiving federal Medicaid and Medicare funds. Barrett’s concurrence noted that Idaho “raised a difficult and consequential argument” about whether Congress “can obligate recipients of federal funds to violate state criminal law” in a spending bill. If enough justices are amenable to Idaho’s arguments, the future of EMTALA and other similar federal regulatory laws could be grim.

At least three justices are already on board with the idea that Congress exceeded its authority in using a spending bill this way: The argument features prominently in Justice Samuel Alito’s dissent, in which he was joined by Justice Clarence Thomas and in part by Justice Neil Gorsuch.

During oral arguments in April, Alito also focused heavily on the presence of the term “unborn child” in EMTALA’s text. In answer to his questions then, Prelogar explained that this wording was included in EMTALA because, at the time, pregnant patients were being turned away from hospitals when suffering from fetal health complications.

“It tells us that Congress wanted to expand the protection for pregnant women so that they could get the same duties to screen and stabilize when they have a condition that’s threatening the health and well-being of the unborn child,” Prelogar said. “But what it doesn’t suggest is that Congress simultaneously displaced the independent preexisting obligation to treat a woman who herself is facing grave life and health consequences.”

Kagan also touched on this in a footnote to her dissent, noting that “very large bipartisan majorities” in both houses of Congress “elected to broaden the provision, entitling a woman to demand care for her unborn child as well as herself” when they realized the original text of the law didn’t allow that.

Clearly, Alito disagrees. “To the contrary, EMTALA obligates Medicare-funded hospitals to treat, not abort, an ‘unborn child,’” he wrote in his dissent. Alito was joined by both Thomas and Gorsuch in this section of his dissent, meaning that at least three justices are open to arguments about fetal “personhood.”

“It’s critical we do not forget that conservative justices are flirting with the idea of fetal personhood in order to justify abortion bans,” the National Institute for Reproductive Health said on X.

Last fall, I spent ten days reporting on the ground in Idaho. What I found is that a total abortion ban, in combination with constant media coverage of legal developments just like this, had created a pervasive culture of fear around pregnancy in the state. I also reported on the systematic Christian nationalist takeover of state politics that led to Idaho’s abortion bans, and the locals organizing to take their state back.

Those locals have already notched some significant victories, including ousting 15 far-right incumbent lawmakers in recent primary elections. In statehouses and in courts, the battle for abortion rights is far from over.

The post Supreme Court Rules Idaho Doctors Can Provide Emergency Abortions—For Now appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Supreme, Court, Rules, Idaho, Doctors, Can, Provide, Emergency, Abortions—For, Now", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "134", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Garnet_EMTALA_Reax-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/27/supreme-court-rules-idaho-doctors-can-provide-emergency-abortions-for-now/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-01 14:50:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "47519", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Just Decide the EMTALA Case Already, You Cowards", "title_slug": "just-decide-the-emtala-case-already-you-cowards", "title_hash": "75639bc1bdf3146ecb35ba40ca40ffd5", "summary": "The Supreme Court punted its decision in the combined Idaho v. United States and Moyle v. United States.\nThe post Just Decide the EMTALA Case Already, You Cowards appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The Supreme Court released its decision regarding the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act—not once but twice thanks to another opinion leak!—and, well, the justices punted.

In this reaction episode, Jess and Imani get into the coward decision in Idaho v. United States— that dismissing the case as “improvidently granted” is simply a cop-out, and the ripple effects that will emerge.

And stay tuned for a short summer season coming up!

Mentioned in this episode:

By the Way, Fetuses Can’t Consent to Health Care

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post Just Decide the EMTALA Case Already, You Cowards appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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It’s been a brazenly partisan and corrupt Supreme Court term. From abortion cases that are still alive to the murky futures of marriage equality and gender-affirming care for minors, here’s a brief wrap-up of what happened by what should’ve been the end of this term.

Abortion cases remain unresolved

Chief Justice John Roberts and his conservative cohorts straight up handed Republicans a gift when they temporarily punted both FDA v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine and Idaho v. United States off the docket.

Since the overturn of Roe v. Wade two years ago, Republicans have faced electoral loss after electoral loss thanks to abortion-motivated voters. Roberts and his fellow conservatives took away a political hot potato for Donald Trump months before a presidential election where abortion is already a central issue. But the procedural rulings in both cases means the real issues before the Court—mifepristone access and the ability to mail abortion pills under the Comstock Act, as well as the fate of emergency abortion care in abortion-hostile states—remain unresolved and very much still alive in the federal courts.

This buys Republicans time to message around the devastation Roe’s reversal has brought while setting them up to continue the carnage soon after this election season. It also allows the conservatives on the Court to message that, despite dismantling Roe, they aren’t that extreme on abortion after all, because look at these two wins for abortion rights!

Never mind, as Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson points out in her opinion in Idaho v. United States, the three dissenting justices softly endorsing fetal “personhood” and states’ ability to nullify federal law in the EMTALA case.

Slow drip of corruption scandals

This term, reports revealed how conservative justices and their wives have engaged in various forms of hyper-partisanship and financial conflicts of interests.

Between Harlan Crow functioning as a fiscal sponsor to Justice Clarence Thomas’ household and Mary-Ann Alito low-key auditioning for Real Housewives of Potomac, the Court is an embarrassment. The fact that Roberts and his fellow conservatives feel they are beyond the reach of Congress is a warning flare about the state of our democracy and the authoritarianism knocking at our doorstep.

Warning shot at marriage equality

While we’re on the topic of warning flares, the Court issued a major one on marriage equality in Department of State v. Muñoz, an immigration case that narrowed the scope of marriage rights in a way that tees up a rollback—or outright reversal—of Obergefell v. Hodges.

Support for marriage equality continues to decrease among conservatives as their ginned up moral panic around “wokeness” increases. This translates to a proliferation of drag bans and book bans that are designed to do nothing more than peddle gender conformity, as Lisa Needham wrote about recently for Rewire News Group.

It also underlines the conservative rewriting of parental rights via their campaign to judicially redefine family in a way that elevates and enshrines largely white, religiously orthodox, patriarchal family norms. We see this in their legal attacks on teen access to birth control under Title X and support for gender-affirming care bans.

Coming up next term

It will be clearer just how deep the conservative hypocrisy around parental rights and gender-affirming care for minors runs when the Court rules in United States v. Skrmetti next term. Skrmetti is a case brought by three trans teens and their parents, a doctor who provides gender-affirming care, and joined by the Biden administration, that challenges the constitutionality of Tennessee and Kentucky’s gender-affirming care bans.

The Court declined to take up the parental rights issue in Skrmetti, instead focusing its attention on the sole issue of whether these bans violate the equal protection clause as unlawful sex discrimination. But the current conservative parental rights frame will be everywhere in these arguments, both to scatter the breadcrumbs of the next case for conservatives and to continue virtue signaling to conservative donors financing this anti-wokeness campaign.

Overturning Roe really was the beginning of a whole new power grab by the conservative legal movement. And if this term is any indication, it is just the start of a new wave of cooperative, authoritarian governing between the Republican Party and the Supreme Court.

The post (Almost) Everything That Happened This Corrupt Supreme Court Term appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Almost, Everything, That, Happened, This, Corrupt, Supreme, Court, Term", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Jess_SCOTUS_EOT-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/28/almost-everything-that-happened-this-corrupt-supreme-court-term/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-07-01 14:50:26", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "46863", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Golden Rules for Amazing Sex", "title_slug": "golden-rules-for-amazing-sex", "title_hash": "46fd8c6184b4275ce2c3ffa071899593", "summary": "Check out the rules of the bedroom when it comes to seducing women and keepin' 'em wanting more.", "content": "Sex is a complicated beast. \r\nIt’s no secret that it can be a source of incredible pleasure. However, for some people, it’s also a source of great anxiety, and, not infrequently, significant pain, both physical and emotional. \r\nIt can lead to mind-blowing orgasms and to Earth-shattering love stories; it can also lead to the transmission of unpleasant or seriously dangerous infections. On top of all that, it can lead to the birth of babies.\r\nAs a result, sex is something many people think about obsessively, and is the source of laws, financial transactions, decision-making, and moral, religious and ethical arguments. \r\nIn short, it’s complicated. And if you don’t have much experience with it, you might wonder how, exactly, you’re supposed to enjoy the benefits without experiencing the pitfalls. \r\nRELATED: What Does Sex Feel Like? \r\nWell, luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of seven golden rules to follow when having sex. Read on, and you’re welcome for the good sex you’ll have as a result! \r\n1. Learn Some Sexual Health Basics\r\nMost people get at least some form of sex education before they turn 18, but it’s often not comprehensive and it may be undermined by conflicting information gleaned from non-reputable sources. \r\nMaking sure you’ve brushed up on the most recent information on STI prevention is a good idea; testing out a few different kinds of condoms to find a model that works for you is as well. \r\nFurthermore, establishing a practice of getting tested regularly is an important part of being a sexually active person, to ensure you don’t unknowingly pass any infections on to others. \r\nRELATED: Safer Sex Mistakes That Can Lead to STIs \r\nThat kind of comfort with your sexual health can also help when it comes to talking to your doctor or other sexual health professional in case you start experiencing symptoms or physical outcomes you’re not familiar with. \r\n2. Be Mindful of Consent\r\nNext up, you’ll want to do some research into sexual consent and how it works. \r\nSocietal understandings of consent have evolved significantly in the past decade or two, but many people still harbor incorrect beliefs about what does and doesn’t constitute consent.\r\nAnother misapprehension is the idea that asking for consent can’t be sexy, since it’s rarely shown occurring in the stories that give us cultural scripts for sex and romance: porn, TV and movies. \r\nLuckily, there are lots of different ways to ask for consent, and they can run the gamut from being formal and businesslike to silly and playful to downright sexy. In fact, asking for consent can basically double as dirty talk, if you know how to do it right. \r\nRELATED: Dirty Talk Phrases That Are Also Consent Questions\r\nIt’s also of the utmost importance to remember that consent can be revoked, and just because someone agreed to something at the beginning doesn’t mean they’re obligated to see it through to the end. \r\nThat means you or your partner are allowed to cut things short if ever it’s not feeling OK, and as such, periodic check-ins are a good idea, especially if you’re having sex with someone whose body language and boundaries you’re less familiar with. \r\n3. Engage in Foreplay\r\nOnce you’ve got some basics down when it comes to sexual health and consent, you’re ready to jump into bed with a partner of your choosing! \r\nBut having sex that doesn’t lead to violated boundaries or sexual infection transmission is one thing; having sex that’s really great is another. For that, you’ll want things to be pleasurable, and in most cases, that’ll require some foreplay.\r\nThis is especially important if the person you’re sleeping with has a vagina, since they typically require more time than penises to fully exhibit sexual arousal — in this case, lubrication. \r\nRELATED: The Science Behind Female Arousal, Explained \r\nWhile people with penises can often become fully erect and ready for penetration in a matter of seconds, becoming wet typically takes people with vaginas much longer, and sex without proper lubrication can be quite painful, in addition to increasing the risk of infection transmission. \r\nSo all this means is that engaging in sexual stimulation before penetration is of the utmost importance, to make sure everyone’s physically and mentally ready. This can take a variety of different forms: \r\ngiving each other a sensual massage, engaging in some French kissing, playing with breasts or nipples, engaging in manual stimulation like fingering or giving a handjob, dry humping, dirty talking to one another or role-playing together,and more. \r\nAnother incredibly popular sex act that works great as a form of foreplay is oral sex.\r\nWhether it’s using your mouth to pleasure a vagina (cunnilingus), a penis (giving a blowjob), or even an anus (anilingus), thanks to your saliva and tongue, the mouth can deliver pleasure to a person’s genitals in ways that can be tough to beat, and some people will find receiving oral pleasure even more pleasurable than penetrative sex. \r\nThis is often particularly the case for people with clitorises, since they are statistically less likely to orgasm from penetrative sex. \r\n4. Pleasure Your Partner\r\nGuys often want to be known as being good in bed — but what does that actually mean? For lots of people, it means the ability to please your partner. How do you go about it? \r\nFor starters, it begins with caring about your partner’s pleasure. Being unselfish in bed is first and foremost about being in the mindset of giving a damn if the other person is having a nice time or not. Simply acting out a script in your head or focusing exclusively on your own orgasm will rarely produce a fun experience for your partner. \r\nOn the flip side, it is possible to care too much about your partner’s orgasm. If they sense that you’re obsessed with making them cum, they may feel pressured to fake an orgasm rather than gamble on having a real one. \r\nRELATED: What You Need To Know About Fake Orgasms \r\nBut if your focus is simply on helping them have a nice time, they’re likely to feel relaxed enough to do just that — and may even be able to have multiple orgasms. \r\n5. Enjoy Yourself\r\nWith all the expectations put on guys to be ‘good in bed,’ it can sometimes be easy to get caught up in trying to perform rather than to have fun. Good sex can be a question of balancing your pleasure and your partner’s — too much of one and you can be a selfish lover; too much of the other and you might have a miserable experience yourself. \r\nSo long as you do care about your partner’s pleasure and making them feel comfortable and desired, caring about your own pleasure is also an important component of an enjoyable experience. This could be a question of things like:\r\nasking to explore your own desires and fantasies, trying out your favorite sex positions, guiding your partner towards better pleasuring you, engaging in mindfulness during sex,\r\nor anything else that would bring you enjoyment. \r\n6. Be Mindful of Your Ejaculation\r\nOrgasms are incredibly awesome experiences, and having one during sex with someone else can be even more powerful than having one by yourself. However, if you’re the penetrating partner and you have a penis, orgasms are typically accompanied by ejaculation — and that can present some complications for a receiving partner. \r\nFor starters, getting an unexpected shot of semen in your face or mouth can be incredibly unpleasant, so giving your partner a quick warning when you’re about to orgasm is a must, so they have the opportunity to decide how to react. \r\nSecond, if you’re having sex with someone who could get pregnant, there’s a decent chance they may want you to pull out beforehand. \r\nRELATED: Common Sex Mistakes Men Make\r\nEven if you’re wearing a condom, they may feel more comfortable knowing that your ejaculation doesn’t have any chance of ending up in their vagina; and if it’s unprotected, though creampies can be fun for lots of people, ejaculating inside of someone without their consent is both a serious sexual violation and a potential source of an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. \r\nBest course of action? Pull out just in case; otherwise, discuss your partner’s preferences with them beforehand so you’re clear on what they like and what they’re comfortable with. \r\nRELATED: Worst Things Guys Do When They Finish During Sex \r\n7. Engage in Some Aftercare\r\nWhether you or your partner had orgasms or not (or many of them!), eventually, sex will need to come to an end. After sex, it’s a good idea to engage in what’s known as ‘sexual aftercare.’ This term comes from the kink community, but it can be useful even for people having so-called ‘vanilla sex.’ \r\nIt’s simply a question of recognizing that post-sex can be an intimate and vulnerable time, and taking a moment to check in with each other about your needs and feelings can go a long way toward ensuring that it ultimately feels like a pleasurable experience for all parties involved. \r\nRELATED: What Women Want After Sex \r\nThis could involve post-coital cuddling, talking about what you liked or didn’t like during the sex, having a glass of water or a snack together or otherwise simply being there together rather than immediately separating. It’s a recognition that, like how a good buildup makes sex more exciting, a good comedown is also part of the experience. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhy You Need to Care Less About the Female Orgasm What Makes a Man Good in Bed? These Qualities \r\nThe Best Positions for Gay Sex, Illustrated", "keywords": "Golden, Rules, for, Amazing, Sex", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "139", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/player_100/122_love_games/askmen-lead-image-template-1718981619.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/player_100/122_love_games.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-23 01:26:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "46864", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Women Say & What They Really Mean", "title_slug": "what-women-say-what-they-really-mean", "title_hash": "1c8246554b36fa1c89a641b89fbcacd3", "summary": "From \"I don't want to ruin our friendship\" to \"Are you seeing anyone right now?\", find out how to read between her lines.", "content": "There are many long-running and tired stereotypes about women, but one is that they often don't say what they really mean. \r\nIn some cases, this is an exaggerated trope: women are certainly capable of being straightforward and direct, just as men can sometimes be waffly and imprecise. \r\nWhat's more, sometimes the idea that women don't say what they mean is a convenient excuse to ignore what they're actually saying, and can result in men being condescending and dismissive to women when they're speaking their minds.\r\nHowever, there is a sliver of truth to the idea that women communicate less directly than men, but it's not because they're trying to be difficult or obscure — it's because women are socialized to be more pleasant and conciliatory, and, bearing that in mind, there are a number of scenarios where indirect communication makes perfect sense.\r\nRELATED: How to Talk to Women & Communicate Effectively \r\nSo, in the interests of clearing up why women sometimes don't say what they mean, here are some situations where women might not say exactly what they mean, why that is, and what you can do about it:\r\n1. The Boyfriend Excuse\r\nWhat she says: “I have a boyfriend, sorry.” \r\nWhat she means: Either she really has a boyfriend, or she wants you to stop hitting on her.\r\nWhy she says this: Unfortunately, many men don't react well to straightforward romantic rejection from women they're asking out, and occasionally even get aggressive or hostile in the face of responses like “Not interested, thanks!” or “I'm not here to be picked up.” \r\nIn the worst cases, straightforward romantic rejection can result in harassment, taunts such as “Fine, you stuck-up b*tch,” or even violence. \r\nIt follows naturally, then, that women will protect themselves from unnecessary aggression by being less direct and framing their rejection in more conciliatory terms. \r\nThe boyfriend excuse also gets around another hurdle, which is that men can be persistent in the face of other forms of rejection. \r\nSometimes when women say “I'm not looking to meet men right now” or “I'm just trying to have fun with my friends tonight” certain men won't let go, saying things like, “Awww, why not?” or “Surely you can make an exception for me? ;)” Shutting things down with a simple, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend!” is often the safest way to end the conversation with some degree of finality. \r\nRELATED: Pickup Rules Women Want Men to Know \r\nWhat you should do: Move on, and leave her alone for the night. Whether or not the object of your affection actually has a boyfriend is beside the point, and isn't really your business, so you shouldn't make further enquiries to try to “prove” that she isn't actually taken. Just take the cue that she's not interested and walk away — there are plenty more fish in the sea. \r\n2. The Fake Number\r\nWhat she says: “Sure, I'll give you my number. It's [inset fake phone number here].\"\r\nWhat she means: I don't want you to be able to contact me, but you're giving me bad vibes that make me feel I can't say that directly. \r\nWhy she says this: As above, this is a self-preservation mechanism and a way to avoid overt hostility. In the face of a man who seems like he will be persistent or even a little creepy, giving a fake number is a way of diffusing the situation and giving the promise of further contact down the line — while, of course, actually obviating the possibility of such contact. \r\nOf course, to a reasonable man like you, this might seem like incomprehensible overkill: Why on earth wouldn't she just say, “I'd rather not give out my number, sorry!” After all, you'd be perfectly chill about that! \r\nWell, sure, but how is she to know that? How can she differentiate you from all the guys who wouldn't take rejection quite so kindly? Unfortunately, it's often safer for her to err on the side of assuming you're one of the bad guys.\r\nWhat you should do: Shrug your shoulders and move on. Of course it's a bit insulting, but try not to take it too personally — her right to feel safe trumps your right to score her number. \r\nRELATED: Why Asking For Her Number Is Pretty Much Obsolete\r\nP.S. Do not “test” a woman by calling her on the spot when she gives you her number! This is an overbearing display of control, and is likely to make her feel very, very uncomfortable — even if she's given you her real number. \r\n3. Enter the Friendzone\r\nWhat she says: “You're such a good friend\"/\"It's so nice having you as a friend!\"\r\nWhat she means: Your relationship is purely platonic, and she doesn't see that changing. In short, you’re in the friend zone.\r\nWhy she says this: Sometimes men will harbor longings for their female friends without actually saying so, and this puts said women in an uncomfortable situation. \r\nYour friend might sense that you want the relationship to be more than platonic, but you won't actually say so, so she can't reject you outright. Instead, she makes little comments here and there to firmly establish the nature of your friendship and to avoid giving you false hope that the relationship could be romantic. \r\nRELATED: How to Recognize and Appreciate the Benefits of the Friend Zone \r\nWhat you should do: Take her at her word, and give up on the idea that you're going to be more than friends at some point in the future. If you really value her and like her as a person, continue to be her friend — it's pretty shitty to throw out a good relationship because you're sensitive about rejection, but if a friendship is too much to handle for your hurt feelings, you're allowed to cut contact completely. \r\n4. The Fake Orgasm\r\nWhat she says: “I'm cumming!\"/\"Mmmmhrrrrhhhhh!\"/\"Oh my god, yes!\"\r\nWhat she means: I'm faking an orgasm right now.\r\nWhy she says this: The fact that women occasionally fake orgasms can be confounding to men, and to women who would never bother to fake it. What's the point? All it seems to do is mislead men on what gives women actual, genuine pleasure, and make them think what they're doing is working when it clearly isn't.\r\nHowever, this isn't an exclusively female phenomenon, and there are some circumstances where faking an orgasm makes sense — to cut short a tedious encounter, for example, or to reward a man who is doing everything right, even though an orgasm remains elusive for reasons he can't fix. \r\nWhat you should do: A lot of the time, you won't actually know this has happened. If you suspect a woman has faked an orgasm with you, rather than accusing her or focusing on the faking, try asking her more questions about what she likes — “Is there anything else you'd like me to do?” “Are there other ways you prefer to be touched?” — that will encourage her to open up about what gives her genuine pleasure. \r\nRELATED: What Do Women Consider Good Sex? \r\n5. The Brush-Off\r\nWhat she says: “I'm really busy this week, I'll get in touch” [then she never gets in touch]\r\nWhat she means: I'm not interested in seeing you again. \r\nWhy she says this: You might be detecting a common theme at this point: Women often find rejecting men to be a very fraught scenario (and for good reason), and will do almost anything to soften the blow or avoid outright confrontation. Saying that she's busy is a lot easier than saying, “I don't actually want to see you again, at all, period.” \r\nWhat you should do: Leave the ball in her court. Assume she doesn't want to see you again, and if you're wrong and she has genuinely been busy, she can get in touch. In the meantime, move on to people who have demonstrated genuine interest in spending time with you — you deserve that. \r\nRELATED: What If She's Too Busy For You? \r\n6. The Cold Shoulder\r\nWhat she says: “I'm fine.”\r\nWhat she means: I'm not fine, but I can't be bothered explaining the obvious to you.\r\nWhy she says this: This is a tricky one, because it can be unfair and immature for a woman to pretend that everything is OK when it isn't, especially if you've reached out to check in on how she's feeling. In her defense, though, the “I'm fine” response may mean that you've failed to miss an obvious sign or hurt her in a way that should be apparent without her having to spell it out. \r\nWhat you should do: It's worth gently pushing back on this one. You might say something like, \r\n\r\n“I really don't think you're fine, but I'm not a mind reader, and I honestly don't know what's wrong. I genuinely want to know if I've done something wrong, so please let me know, either now or when you're feeling more up to talking about it.” \r\n\r\nNow the onus is on her to communicate openly and honestly in return. \r\n7. Taking a Break\r\nWhat she says: “Maybe we should take a break.\"\r\nWhat she means: I'm having serious doubts about our relationship.\r\nWhy she says this: The idea of breaking up completely is too frightening for her to contemplate right now, but she's got serious issues with how the relationship is progressing. She wants to take a break to bring some space to the situation and see how she really feels, but she doesn't want the finality of breaking up for good. \r\nWhat you should do: How you should respond depends on how you are feeling. Have you also been sensing that the relationship is struggling, or is this news coming out of left field for you? The best move is to have a deeper discussion about what's really gone wrong in the relationship and whether it's fixable, because a break is a temporary measure that won't actually resolve the deeper issues at hand.\r\nRELATED: Does Taking a Relationship Break Ever Work? \r\n8. Excuses to Get Out of Sex\r\nWhat she says: “I have a headache\"/\"Can we take a break?\"/\"Not tonight\"/\"I'm tired\"\r\nWhat she means: I do not want to have sex with you right now.\r\nWhy she says this: Because she doesn't want to have sex with you right now, and “no” can take many different forms.\r\nWhat you should do: STOP. Seriously, though: This one is important. Err on the side of assuming any protests or signs of doubt in the bedroom mean you should give it a rest and do something else, and if you're receiving anything less than enthusiastic consent to sex, you need to stop immediately. \r\nRELATED: The Meaning of Consent and The Different Types That Exist \r\nSo, it's true: Sometimes women — like all humans — don't say exactly what they mean. However, the overall pattern in the examples above reveals a deeper truth: the reason women are indirect is that some men make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe when they say things more straightforwardly. \r\nIf you want women to say exactly what they mean around you, that means you need to be chill about rejection, mature about criticism and respectful of their needs and wants. Once you've got those things sorted, women will no doubt open up to you much more freely. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nQualities Women Look for in a Man How to Work on Improving Your Emotional Intelligence How to Ask a Girl Out, Explained", "keywords": "What, Women, Say, What, They, Really, Mean", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "164", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/09/02-100422-what_women_say_what_they_really_mean_part_ii.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/142_dating_girl.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-23 01:26:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "46865", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Exploring the Pros & Cons of Homemade Gifts", "title_slug": "exploring-the-pros-cons-of-homemade-gifts", "title_hash": "c7457e884c0c780eb2c02c0a925715f3", "summary": "If you're not getting diamonds, you don't have an excuse for not making something yourself.", "content": "In today’s fast-paced, commercialized world, every product seems to be mass-manufactured. So how do you convey the special and unique aspects of your love to a partner by giving them something that has hundreds if not thousands or even millions of identical clones? \r\nThe answer’s simple: You give them a homemade gift. \r\nIt’s not exactly a new concept. Before online shopping, before malls, before department stores, gifts kind of had to be handmade — and making something yourself might be easier than finding just the right artisan to make something for you. \r\nBut in the 21st century, the DIY gift can feel a little out there or — in some people’s eyes — even cheap. Plus, if it falls flat for some reason, it’ll sting that much more than something you just purchased. \r\nEssentially, homemade gifts are high-risk, high-reward. They can be incredible memorable romantic gestures that your partner brags about to other people for years — or they can flop so badly that they lead to a huge fight, maybe even a breakup. \r\nOf course, they’re more likely to land somewhere in the middle. But how can you harness the potential romantic power of a DIY gift? And when is the right time to give one versus just buying something? \r\nRELATED: Best Romantic Gifts for Women\r\nWhether your partner’s birthday is coming up, you’re celebrating an anniversary, or you want to give them something “just because,” here are some pro tips for making a gift that’s sure to be a slam dunk.\r\n\r\nPros of DIY Gifts\r\n\r\nThere are lots of advantages to going the DIY route with gifts. Here are just a few, according to Steffo Shambo, a dating and relationship expert. \r\nIt lets your creativity shine — and by the way, a 2017 study found that women are more attracted to men they perceive as creative. It could save you money. The cost of supplies for — say, a photo album of travel memories or an engraved wooden sign — is often a lot less than a piece of jewelry, trendy gadget, designer handbag, or other typical store-bought gift.It demonstrates thoughtfulness. Painting your partner’s favorite beach or creating a personalized coupon book of acts of service requires thinking about your partner’s wants and needs, which is bound to make them feel loved and cared for.There’s more room for personalization. For example, you have the freedom to use their favorite colors, scents, or flowers in your homemade gift — or incorporate a meaningful date, like your anniversary or the day you met.\r\n\r\nCons of DIY gifts\r\n\r\nStill, there are some drawbacks to DIY gifts to consider as well. Here are a few to be mindful of, says Shambo.\r\nIt’s time-consuming. “A DIY gift often requires significant effort compared to just purchasing a gift,” Shambo explains. Not only do you have to gather all the necessary materials, but depending on what you choose, there may be extensive work that goes into actually making the gift.Some skill is required. It’s important to take realistic stock of your capabilities before starting an ambitious project. “There is a more significant margin of error,” says Shambo. “And if a DIY gift doesn't turn out well, it can't be returned or exchanged.”It may fall flat. No matter how much time and thought you put into it, the reality is that a DIY gift isn’t guaranteed to be a hit with everyone. Ksenia Droben, CEO at Droben Matchmaking, says she recently took a poll of people at her agency about what they thought of a man’s DIY gift: a homemade box containing a plain white origami-style paper flower. “Most of the women said that they did not want a gift like that, and that they would prefer something from a shop, even if it was not expensive. Most of the men said it was a wonderful gift.” The bottom line is that some people prefer more pragmatic gifts rather than sentimental ones.\r\nSomething to keep in mind: If your DIY gift doesn’t go over well, that can actually be valuable information, says Daria Chase, a licensed psychologist specializing in couples and relationships.\r\n“It's also a great way to get to know someone at the beginning of a relationship, as it can serve as a way to get to know someone, their values and if they are aligned with yours. If the person does not have an appreciation for this kind of gesture and prioritizes monetary value over emotional value, it is important to know of this early on in the relationship to get it over with sooner rather than later.\"\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Your Wife\r\n\r\nWhen to Give a DIY Gift\r\n\r\nBefore you opt for a DIY gift, experts advise taking the occasion — as well as how long you and your partner have been together — into account.\r\nAccording to Lisa Mirza Grotts, a certified etiquette professional, it’s a lot harder to take a DIY approach to gifting at the onset of a relationship.\r\n“At this point, there are not many shared memories — it’s too personal and too soon,” she explains.\r\nShambo agrees that DIY gifts often work better once you know your partner well.\r\n“You can customize them based on their favorite hobbies and interests — like painting them a portrait of their beloved pet or making their go-to baked treat,” he says.\r\nThat’s not to say you can’t give a DIY gift early in the relationship, but Shambo recommends keeping them simple — like making a playlist of songs that remind you of them, cooking their favorite meal, or writing a thoughtful card. \r\nRELATED: How to Write a Romantic Love Letter \r\n“Save more elaborate DIY gifts for later once you really know their style and tastes,” he tells AskMen.\r\nShambo notes that a DIY gift is also ideal for partners who are a bit tricker to buy for. If they have a tendency to go ahead and order whatever they need, a handmade gift presents the perfect solution because it’s something money can’t buy.\r\n“DIY gifts are also suitable for partners who have unique niche hobbies that stores don't cater to,” adds Shambo.\r\n\r\nDos & Don'ts for Homemade Gifts\r\n\r\nDos:\r\nIntegrate your recipient’s interests, passions, and values: If your partner is an environmentalist, use eco-friendly reusable gift wrap, says Shambo. Or, if their pet is their whole world, consider making a gift they can use with their furry friend. This shows attention to detail — and will definitely not go unnoticed.Offer a unique spin on something traditional: Droben suggests a handmade necklace or bracelet, DIY bouquet, or a homemade batch of her favorite sweets. Jewelry, flowers, and chocolate are all conventional and universally loved gifts, but putting your own personal spin on it will make it special.Make use of their love language: If your partner’s love language is quality time, why not make them a pickleball paddle they can use on your next date? If their love language is physical touch, consider making a custom massage oil blend. Or, if their love language is words of affirmation, you might write a list of all the things you love most about them and have it framed. Know your limits: “If crafting isn't your strong suit, avoid DIY gifts in favor of a simple purchased gift,” says Shambo.\r\nDon'ts:\r\nTake on complex DIY projects too soon: “An elaborate handmade canoe is probably best saved for later in the relationship,” says Shambo. Enough said.Leave it to the last minute: A DIY gift is not something you can typically throw together last minute. “Plan out your project timeline to avoid rushing and last-minute stress,” says Shambo. This includes researching where to get materials, determining how quickly you can get them shipped to you or find them at nearby stores, and calculating how many hours you’ll need to actually make the item. Rely solely on DIY gifts: It’s all about balance. If you craft a homemade gift for Valentine’s Day, you might want to buy something for your anniversary. “Mixing in some store-bought presents occasionally ensures your partner doesn't feel like you're only giving DIY gifts to save money,” says Shambo. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Tech GiftsFirst Anniversary Gift GuideBest Gifts for People Who Have Everything", "keywords": "Exploring, the, Pros, Cons, Homemade, Gifts", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "135", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/top_10/dating/relationship-drivers-diy-gifts/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1718982039.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/relationship-drivers-diy-gifts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-23 01:26:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "46866", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Phrases Healthy Couples Use", "title_slug": "phrases-healthy-couples-use", "title_hash": "77ff55d7f6583a8751b00a10dbb7e0fb", "summary": "8 Phrases You're Likely to Be Familiar With If You're in a Genuinely Healthy Relationship", "content": "Whether you’re single or attached, looking for examples of positive relationships can be a powerful exercise. If you’re single, it can give you more clarity about what you want. If you’re in a relationship, it can help you identify potential areas of improvement. \r\nIn an ideal world, everyone would have the skills to foster healthy relationships. In practice, that’s just not the case for many people. \r\n“A lot of people today don’t have the best template of what a healthy relationship looks, feels, and sounds like,” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Heather Stevenson. “With each generation, the way relationships look and function shifts. Unfortunately, for many people, there were no great role models for [healthy relationships.]” \r\nRELATED: Lies Pop Culture Taught Us About Love & Romance \r\nMaybe your parents got divorced early. Perhaps they never got along and you watched them fight. This doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to repeat their mistakes. Regardless of your upbringing, you can get inspired by the communication habits of healthy couples. \r\n“Seeing what healthy couples look like can serve as a blueprint for developing a strong and loving relationship,” according to Kayla Crane, LMFT. “As a couples therapist, I encourage couples to look to healthy relationships for inspiration and practical strategies.” \r\nHere are eight phrases the healthiest couples use on a regular basis — use them as a North Star to identify green flags and adopt helpful communication behaviors. \r\n1. “I get where you’re coming from.” \r\nHealthy couples validate each other even when their desires and opinions clash. Phrases like “I see your point” and “I get where you are coming from” are great examples of validation, according to Lynn Zakeri, LCSW. \r\nThe act of validating each other even when you disagree is a simple but effective communication skill — it helps both parties involved feel heard and understood, which, in turn, fosters closeness and trust. It can also prevent arguments from escalating and allow you to find compromise. \r\nRELATED: How to Respectfully Disagree With Your Partner During Tough Times \r\n2. “Did I get that right?”\r\n“Did I get that right?” is another phrase that signals that you seek to understand your partner — a key communication habit of healthy couples. \r\nStevenson recommends using this sentence after paraphrasing something that your partner just said: “It shows that not only are you listening to your partner, but you also have a desire to understand and help them feel understood. And it offers the other person the chance to correct you if they weren’t in fact heard properly, which helps communication get better.” \r\nRELATED: 8 Signs You're In a Healthy Relationship\r\nAccording to Zakeri, variations of this question, such as “Can you tell me what’s going on with you?” or “Are you OK? You look X but maybe I am reading you wrong — what's going on?” are also often used by couples who practice healthy communication. \r\nThe idea, again, is to be curious about your partner’s emotional state while avoiding assumptions and miscommunications. \r\n3. “How can I support you?” \r\nThe strongest couples are, first and foremost, strong partners and teammates. They continuously look for ways to support each other. Zakeri says that this type of phrase demonstrates that you are helpful and considerate. \r\nRELATED: How to Help a Partner Through a Difficult Time \r\nIf you notice your partner struggling with something, offer to lend a hand. If they’re going through a rough patch after a family loss, ask what you can do to be there for them. Being considerate can even be as simple as asking them if they need anything while you’re out, which shows that you’re thinking of them. \r\n4. “Does that work for you?”\r\n“Does that work for you” is another phrase that signals that you take your partner into account, a habit that healthy couples embrace. \r\n“This shows your consideration for your partner by checking with them before taking an action, making a plan, or a commitment to something and helps align you as part of a team working together,” says Stevenson. \r\nRELATED: The Best Ways to Improve Your Relationship, According to a New Study\r\nFor example, instead of confirming that you’re hosting the next holiday at your place, you might say something like “My parents asked if we can host the next holiday here, does that work for you?”. \r\n5. “I need X… Can you Y?”\r\n“Expressing your needs in a relationship is one of the most important parts of both healthy communication and healthy relationships,” adds Stevenson. \r\nYour partner can’t read your mind — and it would be unfair and unhealthy to expect them to do so. Identifying your needs and making direct requests is crucial. \r\nWhile healthy couples don’t meet each other’s needs all the time (this would be unrealistic), using phrases like this helps partners show up for each other to the best of their ability. \r\n6. “I'm sorry.”\r\nAs Crane puts it, every healthy couple knows how to apologize: “Apologizing sincerely when wrong shows accountability and respect for the partner's feelings. It helps resolve conflicts and prevents resentment from building up, promoting a healthier, more trusting relationship.” \r\nRELATED: How to Apologize in a Real Way \r\nLearning how to say “I’m sorry” in a heartfelt, genuine way is a great habit to model. \r\n7. “Let’s spend some time together.”\r\nHappy, healthy couples prioritize quality time instead of letting their bond run on autopilot. Saying something like “Let’s spend some time together” reinforces the importance of maintaining closeness and connection in the relationship, says Crane. \r\nSo, take the initiative and suggest making time for each other. It helps build intimacy and keeps your relationship strong, fun and meaningful. \r\n8. “I’m proud of you.”\r\nHow often do you tell your partner that you’re proud of them? \r\n“This simple phrase can significantly enhance your partner's sense of worth,” adds Crane. \r\nIt also encourages mutual encouragement and appreciation in your relationship, which feels uplifting. Healthy couples understand this — and show it in their communication style. \r\nThe phrases above are meant to serve as inspiration on your journey towards becoming a better partner (or potential partner) and experiencing more satisfying relationships. Try them out and observe the results. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship \r\nHow to Recognize Unhealthy Relationship Patterns\r\nThe Benefits of Being in a Serious Relationship", "keywords": "Phrases, Healthy, Couples, Use", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "140", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/phrases-healthy-couples-use/askmen-lead-image-template-1-1718981803.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/relationship-advice/phrases-healthy-couples-use.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-23 01:26:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "46686", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Abortion Ballot Tracker: Where Your State Stands on Codifying Reproductive Rights", "title_slug": "abortion-ballot-tracker-where-your-state-stands-on-codifying-reproductive-rights", "title_hash": "58fa9947946145bdfe0baed594f921c6", "summary": "Keep up-to-date with abortion ballot initiatives making their way to voters across the country.\nThe post Abortion Ballot Tracker: Where Your State Stands on Codifying Reproductive Rights appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Abortion wins elections. We saw it last year when Ohio voters enshrined abortion rights into the state constitution, and in 2022 when Kansas, Kentucky, and Michigan voters rejected abortion restrictions and affirmed expanded protections.

Now, advocates and opponents alike are pushing more abortion-related measures onto upcoming ballots. Rewire News Group will be tracking abortion ballot initiatives and updating this list as groups gather signatures for their petitions and secure their place in this year’s elections.

Alabama

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Alabama has a total abortion ban with limited exceptions.

Alaska

Alaska does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. The state supreme court has ruled multiple times that abortion is constitutionally protected, and pregnant people can receive abortion care at any point during pregnancy.

Arizona

On April 2, Arizona for Abortion Access, a coalition of pro-choice groups including the ACLU of Arizona, Healthcare Rising Arizona, Planned Parenthood Advocates of Arizona, and more, announced it has gathered more than 500,000 signatures for its ballot initiative, according to NBC News.

The group needed at least 383,923 signatures by July 3 to get its proposed constitutional amendment affirming the right to abortion on the November ballot. The Arizona Republic reported that the group will continue to gather signatures to meet its goal of doubling the required number. Signatures still need to be validated.

The amendment would allow for abortion care up until the point of fetal viability, somewhere between 24 and 26 weeks. Abortion is currently banned at 15 weeks.

Arkansas

On June 18, state lawmakers approved a resolution encouraging Arkansans to vote against an abortion rights ballot measure that would ban abortion after 18 weeks. It does not prevent advocates from continuing to collect signatures before the July 5 deadline.

On January 23, Arkansas Attorney General Tim Griffin certified an abortion rights ballot measure after previous attempts were rejected over language. Advocates can now gather signatures to get the measure on the ballot.

On November 28, 2023, Griffin first rejected the title for a proposed ballot measure, dubbed the Arkansas Abortion Amendment. In his rejection, Griffin cited confusion over the ballot language’s use of the words like “access” and “health,” and said the ballot’s title “is tinged with partisan coloring and misleading.”

After having its proposed abortion access ballot language rejected by Arkansas Attorney General Tim Griffin for a second time on January 4, advocates submitted a third draft of the measure addressing the last of Griffin’s concerns on January 8.

The ballot question committee behind the initiative, Arkansans for Limited Government (organized by the nonprofit For AR People), said it will propose a revised ballot measure to the attorney general’s office.

The Natural State has a total abortion ban with limited exceptions.

California

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In 2022, Californians voted to amend the state constitution to include the right to abortion. Abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Colorado

On May 17, election officials verified signatures for the Colorado Right to Abortion and Health Insurance Coverage Initiative, and it will appear on the November ballot. If approved by 55 percent of voters, the measure would constitutionally guarantee the right to abortion care and prevent the government from prohibiting health-care insurance coverage for abortions.

An anti-abortion measure, the Protections for a Living Child Initiative, did not collect enough signatures to appear on the ballot. It would have established fetal “personhood” and banned abortion from the point of conception.

Abortion in Colorado is currently legal throughout pregnancy.

Delaware

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned after the point of viability.

Florida

Opponents to the Florida ballot measure filed a lawsuit challenging the constitutional amendment process, including what they argue are misleading statements on the required financial impact statement. Proceedings are moving quickly and could include revisions to the impact statement.

On April 1, the Florida Supreme Court approved Floridians Protecting Freedom’s ballot initiative to limit government interference in abortion care—but it also upheld a 15-week ban that allows the state’s six-week abortion ban to go into effect 30 days from the ruling. At six weeks, most people do not know they are pregnant.

If ratified by voters in November, the “Amendment to Limit Government Interference With Abortion” would ban abortion after the point of viability in the Sunshine State. Advocates have said they’re worried that the attempt to save the measure by explicitly defining viability will hamper abortion rights advocacy across the country for the foreseeable future. —Jessica Mason Pieklo

Georgia

Georgia does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at six weeks, before most people know they’re pregnant.

Hawaii

Hawaii does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In March, Gov. Josh Green signed abortion protection measures into state law, both expanding access and removing onerous requirements like only allowing abortion care in hospital or clinical settings. Abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Idaho

Idaho does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is completely banned with limited exceptions, and providers must perform an “affirmative defense,” proving in court that an abortion would meet the state’s legal exception requirements.

Illinois

Illinois does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle, though Gov. J.B. Pritzker has advocated for a pro-abortion measure to be on the 2024 ballot. The state supreme court has affirmed that abortion is constitutionally protected, and abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Indiana

Indiana does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In June, the state supreme court doubled down on its total abortion ban with limited exceptions.

Iowa

Conservative Iowa lawmakers are pushing a ballot measure for November 2024 that would add language to Iowa’s state constitution declaring it does not “recognize, grant, or secure a right to abortion or require the public funding of abortion.” Abortion is currently banned at 22 weeks. A six-week ban was signed into law in July, but a state judge issued an injunction as a lawsuit against it makes its way through the courts.

Kansas

Kansas does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In 2022, voters rejected an amendment to declare that the state constitution did not guarantee the right to abortion. Abortion is banned at 22 weeks.

Kentucky

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In 2022, Kentucky voters rejected an amendment to prevent the state constitution from safeguarding the right to or funding for abortion care. The state has a total abortion ban with limited exceptions.

Louisiana

Louisiana does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In 2020, voters approved an amendment declaring the state constitution does not provide for abortion protections or funding. Louisiana has a total ban, with limited exceptions.

Maine

The Maine Senate failed to pass a proposal that would have allowed voters to decide whether to enshrine abortion rights into the state constitution on April 1. Maine Democrats, including Gov. Janet Mills, had pushed the amendment.

In July, Mills signed into law a bill that allows for later abortions if a doctor deems it medically necessary. Otherwise, abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Maryland

In November, Maryland voters will decide whether to approve the Right to Reproductive Freedom Act, which would affirm “an individual’s own reproductive liberty and provides the State may not, directly or indirectly, deny, burden, or abridge the right unless justified by a compelling State interest achieved by the least restrictive means.” Currently, abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Massachusetts

Massachusetts does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at 24 weeks.

Michigan

The Great Lakes State does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In 2022, voters approved a constitutional amendment guaranteeing the right to abortion. Abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Minnesota

Minnesota does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In January, Gov. Tim Walz signed into law legislation that protects both abortion providers and out-of-state patients. Abortion is legal at any point during pregnancy.

Mississippi

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In March, the Mississippi Legislature proposed a citizen-led ballot initiative process that specifically banned any abortion-related measures, but the entire effort was killed in the state senate. The Magnolia State has a total ban with limited exceptions.

Missouri

On May 3, abortion advocates announced they had gathered more than 380,000 signatures for the Missouri Right to Reproductive Freedom Amendment. If approved, the measure would enshrine the right to reproductive freedom in the state constitution and repeal the existing ban.

In Missouri, a petition to change the state constitution must receive signatures from 8 percent of voters in six of the state’s eight congressional districts. According to the Missouri Independent, Missourians for Constitutional Freedom collected more than twice the number needed. The secretary of state is currently verifying signatures. NBC News reported that Gov. Mike Parson can decide whether it appears on the August 6 primary ballot or the November 5 general election ballot.

In September, a judge rewrote a Republican-written ballot summary that described abortions as “dangerous and unregulated” to instead say it would guarantee “the right to make decisions about reproductive health care, including abortion and contraception.” Abortion is currently totally banned, and doctors must provide an “affirmative defense” to provide care that meets the state’s legal exception.

Montana

On April 16, Montanans Securing Reproductive Rights began collecting signatures on a ballot measure that would:

provide Montanans the right to make and carry out their own pregnancy decisions, including abortion;
prevent the government from hindering the right to abortion before the point of viability;
prevent the government from interfering when a health-care professional determines an abortion is necessary to protect the pregnant person’s life or health; and
prevent the government from “penalizing patients, health-care providers, or anyone who assists someone in exercising their right to make and carry out voluntary decisions about their pregnancy.”

In an April 1 decision, the Montana Supreme Court unanimously rewrote Montanans Securing Reproductive Rights’ abortion ballot measure and rejected the state attorney general’s attempt to block the original proposal.

In January, Montana Attorney General Austin Knudsen blocked a proposed ballot measure that would have enshrined abortion rights up to the point of viability in the state constitution, the Montana Free Press reported. In a memorandum to the secretary of state’s office, Knudsen’s office said the measure is legally insufficient, “logrolls” too many issues into a single initiative, and “limits the ability of the state to provide for public health and safety.

Abortion is banned at the point of viability. In May 2023, Republican Gov. Greg Gianforte signed a 15-week ban into law just months after Montana voters rejected an anti-abortion bill. A state court temporarily blocked the ban.

Nebraska

On March 1, a group of medical professionals in Nebraska—backed by Nebraska Right to Life and Nebraska Family Alliance—filed paperwork for a ballot measure dubbed the “Protect Women and Children Constitutional Amendment” that would ban abortion after the first trimester, the Nebraska Examiner reported.

It’s the second of two anti-abortion ballot measures with petitions in circulation: In March 2023, anti-abortion advocates proposed the Nebraska Human Life Protection Act, which would ban procedural and medication abortions, with an exception to save the pregnant person’s life. The petition is in circulation.

On November 15, abortion rights coalition Protect Our Rights released language for a ballot measure that would constitutionally protect abortion “until fetal viability”—usually around 24 to 26 weeks—or to save the pregnant person’s life or health. Republican Gov. Jim Pillen has vowed to fight the measure and, similarly to Florida officials, called the viability language “vague and deceptive.” Protect Our Rights must collect signatures from about 123,000 voters, and at least 5 percent of registered voters in 38 of the state’s 93 counties, according to the Hill.

Nebraska currently has a 12-week ban.

Nevada

In late May, reproductive rights coalition Nevadans for Reproductive Freedom submitted more than 200,000 signatures for its abortion rights initiative, surpassing the 102,362 signatures required by state law. Nevada officials are reviewing the signatures for certification.

After a district judge in the Silver State shot down a ballot initiative that would have provided for the right to abortion care up until the point of fetal viability—saying the petition was too broad and would be an unfunded mandate—advocates launched a second campaign to get abortion rights on Nevada’s ballot. Nevadans for Reproductive Freedom’s new proposal provides for the fundamental right to “abortion performed or administered by a qualified health-care practitioner until fetal viability,” which can occur sometime between 24 to 26 weeks of pregnancy. It also says a pregnant person has the right to an abortion to protect their life or health.

Because it is a constitutional amendment, it needs to pass twice in Nevada, meaning that voters would need to decide on it again in 2026 if it gathers enough signatures and gains a simple majority of “yes” votes in 2024. Abortion is currently legal through 24 weeks in Nevada, and in May, Republican Gov. Joe Lombardo signed protections for out-of-state patients into law.

New Hampshire

New Hampshire does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned after 24 weeks.

New Jersey

The Garden State does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is legal throughout pregnancy.

New Mexico

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is legal throughout pregnancy.

New York

On June 18, a state appeals court unanimously restored the Equal Rights Amendment, which includes protections against discrimination over “pregnancy, pregnancy outcomes, reproductive health care and autonomy,” to the November ballot.

A conservative New York judge had kicked the measure off the ballot in May after a Republican assembly member, Marjorie Byrnes, filed a lawsuit claiming state Democrats didn’t follow proper procedure by introducing and passing the amendment before Attorney General Letitia James could provide an opinion, per the state constitution.

“Today’s decision to put the Equal Rights Amendment back on the ballot in November is a huge victory in our efforts to protect our basic rights and freedoms,” James said in a statement following the June ruling. “The ERA was advanced to protect access to abortion care, enshrine this basic right in our constitution, and protect people from discrimination.”

Abortion is currently legal until the point of viability.

North Carolina

North Carolina does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at 12 weeks.

North Dakota

North Dakota does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is completely banned, with limited exceptions.

Ohio

On November 7, Ohio voters approved Issue 1, enshrining abortion access until the point of viability in the state constitution.

Oklahoma

The Sooner State does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Pro-choice rights activists attempted to tee up an abortion rights vote this year, but withdrew it to find a better time to get the more than 170,000 required signatures to put the measure on the November 2024 ballot. Abortion is completely banned, with the only exception being to save the pregnant person’s life.

Oregon

State Democrats have proposed a constitutional amendment to protect abortion access, same-sex marriage, and gender-affirming care. If it passes the state legislature, Oregonians will get to vote on it in November. Right now, people can get abortion care at any point in pregnancy.

Pennsylvania

In December 2023, Democratic lawmakers in Pennsylvania introduced a constitutional amendment that would provide for personal reproductive liberty, including abortion. If it passes both chambers of the state legislature, Pennsylvanians will be able to vote to pass or reject the amendment, though the Penn Capital-Star reported the earliest referendum could only happen in spring 2025.

In November, Pennsylvanians voted to place Daniel McCaffery, who portrayed himself as an abortion rights defender, on the state supreme court. Abortion is banned at 24 weeks.

Rhode Island

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at the point of viability.

South Carolina

South Carolina does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at six weeks, before most people know they’re pregnant.

South Dakota

In May, South Dakota Secretary of State Monae Johnson validated signatures for a ballot measure that would restore Roe v. Wade, making abortion care legal in the first trimester and allowing the state to regulate abortion in the second and third trimesters—but on June 17, anti-abortion group Life Defense Fund sued to block it.

Life Defense Fund is accusing Dakotans for Health of failing to comply with statutory requirements, collecting invalid signatures, and misleading supporters. State GOP lawmakers adopted a resolution opposing the measure in February.

Abortion is currently banned at all points of pregnancy in South Dakota, with limited exceptions.

Tennessee

Tennessee does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is completely banned, with limited exceptions.

Texas

The Lone Star State does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is completely banned, with limited exceptions.

Utah

Utah does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned after 18 weeks.

Vermont

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. In November 2022, voters approved Proposition 5, which constitutionally protects abortion at any point during pregnancy.

Virginia

Virginia does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned after 26 weeks and 6 days.

Washington

Washington state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at the point of viability.

Washington, D.C.

Washington, D.C. does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is legal at all stages of pregnancy.

West Virginia

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is completely banned, with limited exceptions, and the state constitution includes language that explicitly excludes abortion rights.

Wisconsin

Wisconsin does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle, though GOP Sen. Ron Johnson has advocated for a vote on a 12-week ban. The state bans abortion at 22 weeks.

Wyoming

The state does not currently have a ballot initiative in the upcoming election cycle. Abortion is banned at the point of viability.

The post Abortion Ballot Tracker: Where Your State Stands on Codifying Reproductive Rights appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "Abortion, Ballot, Tracker:, Where, Your, State, Stands, Codifying, Reproductive, Rights", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/Abortion-Ballot-Tracker.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/20/abortion-ballot-tracker-where-your-state-stands-on-codifying-reproductive-rights/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-23 00:37:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "46685", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Actually Happened With the Mifepristone Ruling", "title_slug": "what-actually-happened-with-the-mifepristone-ruling", "title_hash": "2b73377c6b63a477a7b1c4101033cf12", "summary": "We're setting the record straight.\nThe post What Actually Happened With the Mifepristone Ruling appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

The recent Supreme Court decision in FDA v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine did not “restore” mifepristone access. The justices didn’t “dismiss” the case. And yet that’s what some media have been claiming.

Join Jess and Imani in this mythbusting mifepristone episode and what they’re predicting comes next.

Rewire News Group is a nonprofit media organization, which means that episodes like this one is only made possible with the support of listeners like you! If you can, please join our team by donating here.

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post What Actually Happened With the Mifepristone Ruling appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "What, Actually, Happened, With, the, Mifepristone, Ruling", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/BL-S08-Ep26-Web.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/21/what-actually-happened-with-the-mifepristone-ruling/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-23 00:37:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45678", "lang_id": "1", "title": "5 Tips to Improve Sex (from a Sex Therapist)", "title_slug": "5-tips-to-improve-sex-from-a-sex-therapist", "title_hash": "3ddd31ddb250b699dd59171b7ac42ce9", "summary": "Improving sexual intimacy requires developing emotional and sexual intelligence. It also requires planning (even if that doesn't sound sexy!)\nThe post 5 Tips to Improve Sex (from a Sex Therapist) appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

Improving sexual intimacy requires developing emotional and sexual intelligence. It also requires planning (even if that doesn't sound sexy!)

The post 5 Tips to Improve Sex (from a Sex Therapist) appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Tips, Improve, Sex, from, Sex, Therapist", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "123", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/GettyImages-627745818-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-tips-to-improve-sex-from-a-sex-therapist/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 10:01:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45557", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Shower Gels for Men", "title_slug": "best-shower-gels-for-men", "title_hash": "4d9f7c5f1e48c73f6faea4083cfd3291", "summary": "With hundreds of shower gels available for purchase, choosing the right one for your needs isn't easy. This is especially true since the bathing solution has become an essential component of our daily grooming routine — serving as a habitual wakeup call that energizes us with effervescent fragrances when stepping into the shower every morning, or a transportable way to stay clean if you take your morning shower at the gym or at work.\r\nRELATED: Best Shampoos for Men\r\nSome guys still question the difference between the use of bar soap and bath wash. That’s a pure amateur move. Need convincing?\r\n\r\n\r\nThe truth lies in the facts. Studies show gel cleansers are less likely to unsettle your skin’s pH levels than soap, as those brick-shaped substances supposedly strip the skin of its essential oils. What else? Let's break down some of the other key factors of using a shower gel:\r\n\r\n\tAromatherapy treatment: The elegant fragrances exuded by these cleansers help ease discomfort, relax muscles, an", "content": "With hundreds of shower gels available for purchase, choosing the right one for your needs isn't easy. This is especially true since the bathing solution has become an essential component of our daily grooming routine — serving as a habitual wakeup call that energizes us with effervescent fragrances when stepping into the shower every morning, or a transportable way to stay clean if you take your morning shower at the gym or at work.\r\nRELATED: Best Shampoos for Men\r\nSome guys still question the difference between the use of bar soap and bath wash. That’s a pure amateur move. Need convincing?\r\n\r\n\r\nThe truth lies in the facts. Studies show gel cleansers are less likely to unsettle your skin’s pH levels than soap, as those brick-shaped substances supposedly strip the skin of its essential oils. What else? Let's break down some of the other key factors of using a shower gel:\r\n\r\n\tAromatherapy treatment: The elegant fragrances exuded by these cleansers help ease discomfort, relax muscles, and treat headaches.\r\n\tMore sanitary: Bottle packaging keeps the solution fresh and reduces the risk of contamination. \r\n\tPotent formulas: Natural ingredients, essential oils, nutrients, and vitamins usually make up the complex.\r\n\tReduce waste: Bar soaps wear off quickly and leave debris in the shower, whereas shower gels avoid this issue.\r\n\tRich lather: Liquid cleansers tend to produce more suds and help to activate skin-cleansing properties.\r\n\r\n\r\nWhat’s in the Formula?\r\n\r\nAgain, the main function of any form of body wash, let alone a good men's shower gel, is to cleanse and protect skin from harmful agents. To achieve this, personal care brands compose their formulas with conditioning and effective, yet slightly-hazardous-when-overused elements. Don’t be so naïve to fall for exotic scents or eye-catching ads pushing skincare benefit jargon. Ingredients matter most. Keep your eyes peeled for these beneficial and/or dermis-endangering components when picking your next body wash.\r\nThe Good\r\n\r\n\tAloe Vera: A heavily popular agent with skin-cooling properties.\r\n\tEssential oils: Condition and hydrate skin to maintain its natural moisture level.\r\n\tGlycerin: Creates a nourishing effect for necessary moisture.\r\n\tPlant extracts: Contains natural antiseptic and exfoliating qualities.\r\n\tShea Butter: Treats the outer skin layer with protective and smooth texture.\r\n\tVitamins: Singular compounds such as C and E serve as antioxidants for detoxification and softening.\r\n\r\nNot exactly the type of results you’ll warrant from a pharmacy or supermarket brand. Then again, if misguided on selection, worst-case scenarios await you.\r\nThe Bad (and Potentially Dangerous)\r\n\r\n\tDiethanolamine (DEA): Can block absorption of choline, a vital nutrient that aids in brain development.\r\n\tDioxane: Known as a high-hazard agent that can cause toxicity in the brain, central nervous system, and liver just to name a few.\r\n\tHarmful Fragrance: Some body washes bear a high perfume rate that can produce irritation and affect vital organs.\r\n\tParabens: Preservatives that are linked to a variety of skin conditions and breast cancer, which yes, men can be diagnosed with.\r\n\tPropylene glycol: Commonly used in personal care products with a history of causing dermatitis and kidney/liver abnormalities.\r\n\tSodium lauryl sulfate (SLS): A surfactant and detergent found in many cosmetic products linked to skin irritation, organ toxicity, endocrine disruption.\r\n\tTriclosan: This antibacterial compound has been suggested to contribute to antibiotic resistance.\r\n\r\nSee how this creates complication? Exactly. We also recommend something that possess high-quality additives like grapefruit or bergamot oil — basically, all the good stuff that does wonders for your skin type depending on its sensitivity level.\r\nTo help in your search for the perfect shower gel, we compiled this collection of elite options based on consumer feedback, expert reviews, and hands-on experience to help narrow things down. Here are the best shower gels money can buy that deserve a spot somewhere on your shower caddy or gym/travel bag. Without further ado, say bye to bar soaps and learn all about the best shower gels for men on shelves now. \r\n\r\nBest Shower Gels for Men\r\n\r\nOld Spice High Endurance Pure Sport\r\n\r\nWhen in doubt, go with Old Spice. It lathers well, rinses clean, and maybe most importantly, has a mature, masculine scent that never disappoints men, or men's skin.\r\n$25.88 for 4 at Amazon.com\r\nSaya Body Wash\r\n\r\n\r\nWith a delightful base of aloe vera juice and glycerin, this hydrating and luxurious body wash isn’t just a pretty face. Behind the handsome scent of rose and cedarwood is a moisturizing body cleanser that is loaded with organic ingredients, instead of any synthetic fragrance or harmful chemicals. It’s formulated with kakadu plum to soothe the skin and naturally perfumed with fresh and floral essential oils.\r\n$47 at SayaSkin.com\r\nDegree Men Maximum Recovery Body Wash and Soak\r\n\r\n\r\nFrom the brand you trust to keep you dry and fresh under extreme exercise comes a new shower gel-meets-muscle-soak designed to help recover from all those vigorous activities. With a selection of aromatic aromas to savor, we particularly enjoy the invigorating and refreshing scent of menthol. This body wash not only fights post-workout body odor, but soothes post-workout soreness thanks to magnesium sulfate. When it comes to Degree, we wouldn’t expect anything but just the right body wash to help recover after all of that putting its tough antiperspirant to the test.\r\n$20.77 at Amazon.com\r\nProactiv Deep Cleansing Acne Body Wash\r\n\r\nProactiv is a brand known for its superior acne-fighting skin care. SO it should come as no surprise that the best body wash we found to fight oil skin below the face would be from the brand. The men’s body wash is designed specifically for acne-prone skin and helps stop acne-causing bacteria as well as prevents new breakouts from forming by using tried-and-true salicylic acid.\r\n$30.45 at Amazon.com\r\nCetaphil Ultra Gentle Fragrance Free Body Wash\r\n\r\nOne of the first things most doctors will tell you if you have severely sensitive skin — quit the fragrances. Because the FDA gives brands a free pass on fragrances thanks to the Fair Packaging and Labeling Act of 1966, allowing them to keep such ingredients off any labels to preserve “trade secrets,” fragrances can be any number of things that could cause skin sensitivity. So, that’s why a fragrance-free moisturizing body wash from dermatologist-approved brand Cetaphil is our go-to for even the most sensitive skin conditions.\r\n$21.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAveeno Daily Moisturizing Body Wash for Dry Skin\r\n\r\nDermatologist-recommended brand Aveeno uses a unique, sensitive skin-friendly formula with moisturizing ingredients such as nourishing oatmeal and rich emollients to lock in moisture. It’s gentle on sensitive skin, soap-free, and dye-free.\r\n$13.76 at Amazon.com\r\nDove Body Deep Moisture Wash\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for a hefty dose of hydration, why not go to the brand that has it as part of their DNA. This mild and pH-balanced formula from Dove includes it’s proprietary Moisture Renew Blend — a combination of skin-natural nourishers and plant-based moisturizers — to absorb deeply into the top layers of skin. Add to that, this body wash is PETA-certified cruelty free and made in 100% recycled plastic bottles, and you can feel good about not only cleaning and conditioning yourself, but helping do so for the world we all share too.\r\n$39.99 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\nBathing Culture Mind and Body Wash\r\n\r\nIf this soap from Bathing Culture only kind of worked, we’d still be OK with it since it just looks so cool. The good news is, it works really well. Not only does it remove dirt effectively (because if a soap really only does one thing well, that should be it) but it leaves skin clean without feeling dry or tight. The certified-organic, biodegradable formula features organic coconut oil, olive oil, shea butter, aloe vera, and comes out thick with a foamy lather, and a gender-neutral herbaceous smell. All this while being paraben-, soap-, and synthetic fragrance-free. Oh yeah, and every vessel is made from 100% recycled glass and plastic. How could it get any better?\r\n$20 at BathingCulture.com\r\nBULLDOG Coastline Body Wash\r\n\r\n\r\nWith the cooling effects of bright citrus, coastal evergreens and the invigorating effects of eucalyptus, this BULLDOG body wash does more than we could have even asked for. The fragrance and tingle that comes from natural oils is just about perfect for post-gym clean up.\r\n$6.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCeraVe Body Wash with Salicylic Acid\r\n\r\nA gentle cleanser with salicylic acid? You better believe, and if any brand can do it (and do it really well) it’s going to be CeraVe. Rooted in the belief that ceramides are an essential part of the skin, and therefore a skin care process, CeraVe incorporates hyaluronic acid and three essential ceramides (1, 3, 6 II) that help both restore and maintain your skin's natural protective barrier. A low dose of salicylic acid gently exfoliates dead skin cells and softens skin rough skin while niacinamide helps keep skin calm. Free of microbeads, parabens, fragrances, and non-comedogenic, this is one of the best multipurpose body washes for anyone with sensitive skin.\r\n$13.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSheaMoisture Men Exfoliating Body Wash\r\n\r\nWhen it comes to an exfoliating body wash, you shouldn't have to sacrifice moisture. Lucky for you, moisturizing is the foundation of SheaMoisture. Using certified organic, free trade shea butter (hence the name) this new exfoliating body wash from the brand stands up to other exfoliators that get rid of dead skin cells, but leave skin dry and tight. Himalayan salt and Jeju volcanic ash buff skin to a natural, healthy shine. If skin that feels good all day isn’t enough, then you have the clean refreshing scent, with a hint of menthol, that stays on the skin all day too.\r\n$14 at Walmart.com\r\nDr. Bronner’s Pure-Castile Liquid Soap\r\n\r\n\r\nDr. Bronner’s was doing organic before organic was a thing. By using most, if not all, organic ingredients, these castile liquid soaps can do a lot more than clean just you. Famous for the 18-in-1 capability, the brand stands behind its mission to make the world a bit of a better place by using 100% post-consumer plastic for its bottles and natural ingredients such as peppermint, tea tree, eucalyptus, and lavender to infuse fragrance. No matter which fragrance (or fragrances) you pick, you won’t be disappointed in the clean results you get — literally.\r\n$9.66 at Amazon.com\r\nAmerican Crew 24 Hour Deodorant Body Wash\r\n\r\n\r\nWhether you workout midday, sweat more than others, or you just stink, this is a body wash made for you. By not only washing away stank odors, but also keeping them at bay all day, you set yourself up for smell success when you wash with this tea tree oil and minty fresh men’s body wash from American Crew.\r\n$14.50 at Amazon.com\r\nEC3O Body Wash\r\n\r\nWhat the …? If you thought waterless body wash was just bar soap, you would be mistaken. Take a look at the soap of the future, from EC3O. EC30 reduces the C02 emission impact from manufacturing, chemistry, and shipping by 50% vs traditional liquids. Did you know that liquid cleaning products are mostly water? Every year, 800,000 million gallons of unnecessary water is shipped around the world. When you take water out of the equation, you get a greener product with a much much smaller carbon footprint. With that in mind, EC3O created an entire collection of truly waterless products from face wash and body cleanser to laundry and toilet cleaner that work just as well as their water-full counterparts, just without the harsh chemicals. The heart of this fragrance is like fresh bamboo, subtle rose, and Sicilian lemon-peels. Whether you throw some in your gym bag, bring a few when you go camping, or pack what you need for your next trip (whenever that might be), these little sudsy, soap swatches are going to change the way you shower.\r\n$19 at EC3OClean.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Razors for Men\r\n\tBest Exfoliating Face Scrubs\r\n\tBest Shaving Gels for Men", "keywords": "Best, Shower, Gels, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "95", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-shower-gels-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1718734057.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-shower-gels-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 09:52:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45558", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Experts Reveal Their Hacks for a Good Night's Sleep", "title_slug": "experts-reveal-their-hacks-for-a-good-nights-sleep", "title_hash": "3d86452993ff7aa20ff8c964c3c2b927", "summary": "How to Increase the Quantity & Quality of Your Sleep", "content": "We’re always hearing doctors and wellness professionals wax poetic about the importance of a good night’s sleep… but why is getting to bed just so important? Well, it might actually play a bigger role in your overall health and wellbeing than you think — and it’s not something you can replicate with a strong cup of coffee in the morning.\r\nRELATED: Best Sleep Trackers\r\n“Sleep is the foundation of health,” explains naturopathic doctor Dr. Leigha Saunders. “Consistently implementing routines and practices that help you optimize your sleep ultimately improves your health across all aspects.”\r\nIf you’ve made it a goal to get better, deeper sleep, keep reading. We reached out to a handful of fitness enthusiasts and doctors to get their best hacks for getting a good night’s sleep. From what you put in your body to how you calm your mind, here’s how to ensure you’re sleeping through the night, every night.\r\n\r\n8 Key Hacks for Improving Your Sleep Quality\r\n\r\nTake a Magnesium Supplement\r\n“Magnesium is a rarely considered mineral that plays many roles in the body, over 600 functions at the cellular level. While it is a small nutrient a deficiency has significant implications,” explains Trista Best MPH, RD, LD, Registered Dietitian at Balance One Supplements, Environmental Health Specialist, and Adjunct Nutrition Professor.\r\nAlong with fighting depression and lowering blood pressure, magnesium is linked to better sleep in both quality and quantity. Magnesium deficiencies almost always lead to or exacerbate insomnia.\r\nAccording to Best, it does this by regulating and activating parasympathetic hormones and neurotransmitters that help the brain to enter a state of relaxation which is better prepared for rest. “Magnesium also helps to control the symptoms of some conditions that interrupt sleep, like digestive disorders,” she explains.\r\nConsider Eating Your Melatonin\r\nMost of us already reach for the bottle of melatonin to help foster better sleep, but, according to Best, getting it naturally through the food you eat may be more effective (and healthier!)\r\n“Eating foods that contain natural melatonin right before you are ready to attempt sleep can help you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly. Almonds, walnuts, and bananas are prime examples of these easy to snack on foods rich in melatonin,” she says.\r\nAvoid Spending Too Much Time in Bed\r\nThe amount of time we allot for sleep should be similar to our average nightly sleep duration… even if it is tempting to linger after waking up or watch TV before bed. According to Martin Reed, certified clinical sleep health educator (CCSH) and the founder of Insomnia Coach, many people who struggle with sleep allot too much time for sleep as a way of trying to get more sleep.\r\n“This sounds logical — after all, if you spend more time in bed there is more opportunity for sleep. However, if you are already struggling with sleep, then spending more time in bed will simply lead to more time awake in bed rather than more time asleep,” Reed explains. “This leads to more tossing and turning during the night, and more worry, stress, and anxiety related to being awake in bed.”\r\nReduce Alcohol Consumption in the Evenings\r\n\r\n“Although alcohol can help us fall asleep, it disrupts sleep later in the night,” says Reed. “That’s because, as the body breaks down alcohol, it has a stimulant effect — so, although a few nightcaps might help you fall asleep faster, they may lead to nighttime awakenings and more time spent awake later in the night.”\r\nReed suggests limiting your alcohol consumption to just one or two glasses of wine or beer with dinner — and making sure your last drink is at least three to four hours before bedtime if possible.\r\nRELATED: Benefits of Sleeping Naked\r\nMove Your Body\r\nNot only is exercise good for your overall health, it’s great for your sleep health, too! “When it comes to the timing of exercise, exercising around six hours before you go to bed may be more beneficial for sleep due to the timing of the rise and fall of your body temperature — but all exercise is good exercise,” says Reed. “I would suggest trying to avoid rigorous exercise too close to bedtime as this could delay sleep onset.”\r\nKeep the Caffeine to 12 Hours Before Bedtime\r\nAccording to Dr. Saunders, the average person takes about 12 hours to fully metabolize caffeine. To make sure it's out of your system and not interfering with your sleep, Dr. Saunders suggests keeping it to 12 hours before your ideal bedtime. For example, if you consistently wake up at 6 a.m., your ideal bedtime is going to be 14-16 hours later, or 8-10 p.m. You can then work backward and make sure you keep caffeine consumption to before 10 a.m.\r\nTry a Brain Dump\r\nDo you have trouble sleeping because you‘re replaying the day‘s events, worrying about tomorrow, or trying to get your to-do‘s in order? According to Dr. Saunders, actually writing down your thoughts involves a separate cognitive process that allows you to “dump” them for tomorrow, not tonight. “Keep a simple journal or notepad on your bedside table for those brilliant ideas or things that pop into your mind at any point during the night to come back to tomorrow,” she suggests.\r\nPick a Consistent Wake Up Time\r\n“While this doesn’t have to do with your evening routine, waking up at the same time every day, even after a bad night's sleep, keeps your body clock on track,” explains Dr. Saunders. “It also makes it more likely that you will fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and have a deeper sleep that night. Changing your wake up time, even by 1-2 hours day to day, can have the equivalent effect of jet lagging your body 1-2 hours.”\r\nConsider Aromatherapy\r\n“Smells and aroma are one of the least talked about sleeping hacks ever,” says neurologist and sleep health expert Dr. Pietro Luca Ratti, MD, Ph.D. “By lighting incense or turning on a diffuser filled with lavender, you’ll set the mood and soothe your mind, making it easier to relax and sleep. You can even find a special spray to fill your sleep-space with a smell of your choice to improve how you sleep.”\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tTips for a Deeper Sleep\r\n\tBest Products for Hot Sleepers\r\n\tHow to Get Deeper Sleep", "keywords": "Experts, Reveal, Their, Hacks, for, Good, Nights, Sleep", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "112", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/experts-reveal-their-hacks-for-a-good-night-s-sleep/askmen-lead-image-template-1718712657.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/experts-reveal-their-hacks-for-a-good-night-s-sleep.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 09:52:16", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45554", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Summer Colognes for Men", "title_slug": "best-summer-colognes-for-men", "title_hash": "a2ea28c79132c1a7a25137fc2b04b7a5", "summary": "If there’s one factor that influences a fragrance more than anything, it’s heat. Heat speeds up the scent experience from opening to drying down faster, it amplifies a scent by multitudes, and can ultimately transform a scent from what you thought you were wearing upon initial spray. The power of heat on fragrance is so dramatic, it’s the number one reason why updating your fragrance wardrobe to prepare for the summer sun is so important.\r\nRELATED: Best Sunscreens for Men\r\nIn summer, seek out lighter, fresher, and fruitier fragrances, so that when they enhance under the rays of the sun, it doesn’t become overbearing to yourself and others around you, but rather it radiates off the skin in ways that are inviting, comforting, refreshing, and revitalizing. To help you with your search for new fragrances to add to your summer rotation, we’ve curated the best of the best below. Each one of these fragrances can make summer easy, breezy and beautiful.\r\nIn Love with Everything by Imaginary Aut", "content": "If there’s one factor that influences a fragrance more than anything, it’s heat. Heat speeds up the scent experience from opening to drying down faster, it amplifies a scent by multitudes, and can ultimately transform a scent from what you thought you were wearing upon initial spray. The power of heat on fragrance is so dramatic, it’s the number one reason why updating your fragrance wardrobe to prepare for the summer sun is so important.\r\nRELATED: Best Sunscreens for Men\r\nIn summer, seek out lighter, fresher, and fruitier fragrances, so that when they enhance under the rays of the sun, it doesn’t become overbearing to yourself and others around you, but rather it radiates off the skin in ways that are inviting, comforting, refreshing, and revitalizing. To help you with your search for new fragrances to add to your summer rotation, we’ve curated the best of the best below. Each one of these fragrances can make summer easy, breezy and beautiful.\r\nIn Love with Everything by Imaginary Authors\r\n\r\nSummer night vibes radiate off the skin with this zingy scent from Imaginary Authors. Inspired by the young, wild, and free 80s excitement of moving from one party to the next in South Beach. This is the scent of a good time. With notes of fruit punch, raspberry, and coconut palm sugar, it captures that party all night exuberance masterfully.\r\n$105 at ImaginaryAuthors.com\r\nGuiding Water by The HARMONIST\r\n\r\nLight, airy, fresh, and floral, Guiding Water is a delicate fragrance ideal for relaxation. Opening with fresh aquatics and a light touch of watermelon. These notes make way for smooth floral lotus and jasmine, before eventually introducing light musks. Breathe in, breathe out, close your eyes, and let The Harmonist bring peace of mind with this zen-inducing summer ready scent.\r\n$250 at NeimanMarcus.com \r\nCK One by Calvin Klein\r\n\r\nCombining both classically masculine and feminine scent elements, CK One by Calvin Klein finds the perfect harmony between high floral notes and low musky ones, offering an exciting and enticing scent with top notes of green tea, bergamot and cardamom built on a base of amber and musk. This is not our go-to scent for everyday wear, but if you've got a memorable summer event planned, this is the fragrance to mark the occasion in your memory.\r\n$83 at Amazon.com\r\nPlato's Tale by Jil Croquet Parfum\r\n\r\nFresh pineapple blends with juicy passionfruit, both layered over a musky marine and amber base. Plato’s Tale is a transportive fragrance in that the scent is enough to make you feel as if you are on vacation as part of an exotic island escape. This is a trip worth taking.\r\n$78.95 at JilCroquetParfum.com\r\nAtlantis by Blu Atlas\r\n\r\nProviding a modern twist to 90s inspired freshness, Atlantis recalls some of the classic greats like Polo Blue or Acqua di Gio. Peach and apricot are the stars of this scent as they float together in fresh, clean, and lightly salted water. Inspired by the coastal jungles of Bali, Atlantis is a contemporary take on classic favorites that is just as worthy of a wear as the originals.\r\n$100 at BluAtlas.com\r\nGrant by GUY FOX\r\n\r\nJuicy pears and oranges combine with spicy ginger and cinnamon, layered over by a bright cactus to make woody freshness that is part hike in the words and part distinguished gentleman, while being all summer greatness. Grant is a fresh, warm spicy scent that exudes confidence and class.\r\n$68 at GUYFOX.com\r\nFig Leaves + White Musk by OffCourt\r\n\r\nFor something greener and earthier than anything else on this list, look no further than one of OffCourt’s active ready fragrances. Like all the fragrances in their line, Fig Leaves + White Musk is light and fresh, but this leans towards nature. Mossy greens and natural woods are enveloped in a cloud of airy musk.\r\n$55 at OffCourt.com\r\nCapri by 19-69\r\n\r\nSweet and bitter orange blend to create a multifaceted and unique exploration of oranges. These are then enhanced by a rich, creamy ylang-ylang composing a dreamy fragrant cloud that surrounds the wearer each time this is sprayed on.\r\n$129.50 at HommeSkin.com\r\nKaiak Oceano by Natura\r\n\r\nWith naturally derived notes of salt, seaweed, ambergris, and watery nuances, Kaiak Oceano is the ocean experience cloaked in a vintage atmospheric tone. It’s both a light splash of beachside play and a deep dive into the dark blue of the ocean. Natura brings to you that fresh ocean air aura.\r\n$47.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMahana by Fulton & Roark\r\n\r\nFrom one of the most popular solid fragrance houses, Fulton & Roark, Mahana has been dubbed as perhaps one of their freshest fragrance releases to date. Bright and citrusy pomelo shines here with musk providing an airy accord. Layered over birch leaf, coriander, and cedar, Mahana becomes crisp, fresh air ready to be embraced.\r\n$60 at FultonAndRoark.com \r\nNautica Voyage\r\n\r\nThere’s a reason this is such a beloved fragrance and it goes far beyond the price point, though that is definitely a bonus. A long-lasting fresh blue aquatic, Nautica Voyage is a summer staple that is a must have in your summer fragrance wardrobe. This lightly musky, clean, and watery scent is an easy and versatile choice all summer long.\r\n$19.78 on Amazon.com \r\nYou’re all set! This summer, day or night, wherever you are — when the heat starts to intensify — you’re officially prepped to smell good all season long.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nBest Cheap Colognes and Fragrances Under $50Best Rose FragrancesWhy You Should Switch to Solid Cologne", "keywords": "Best, Summer, Colognes, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "143", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/fragrances/best-summer-colognes-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1718827988.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/fragrances/best-summer-colognes-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 09:52:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45555", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Shoulder Workout", "title_slug": "shoulder-workout", "title_hash": "9e5077ec9bbda0cebd6351dc51257402", "summary": "Your deltoids are some of your most visible muscles: You'd better make sure they're ripped. ", "content": "Our shoulders are the unsung heroes of our upper bodies. They definitely don’t get as much press as our chest or arms, but they contribute just as much to the creation of a balanced, well-built physique. More importantly, though, the shoulder joint is vital for all kinds of movements, from throwing a baseball and swinging a golf club to picking up your children or doing work around the home.\r\nAnd yet, despite their importance, the shoulders are often neglected. Too many guys skip direct shoulder training altogether, relying on indirect shoulder exercises like the bench press, and almost every gym bro neglects shoulder mobility work, which is a recipe for long-term joint disaster. But you’re different, right?\r\nRELATED: Best Back Strengthening Exercises\r\nIf you want to improve your posture, build a broader, more balanced physique, and keep your shoulder joints flexible and limber for the long term, read on to discover the best and most neglected shoulder exercises, all of which deserve a spot in your gym rotation.\r\n\r\nThe Best Exercises for Shoulder Health & Strength\r\n\r\nIt’s a bit misleading to talk about “the shoulder” as if it’s a single entity. Your shoulder encompasses three bones (the humerus, scapula and clavicle), 17 different muscles (including the rotator cuff), the shoulder capsule (made up of ligaments surrounding the ball-and-socket shoulder joint), and the shoulder labrum, made up of the surrounding cartilage. \r\nA balanced shoulder routine won’t just tax the muscles, but also restore mobility to the shoulder joint, all while protecting the delicate cartilage and minimizing strain on the ligaments. For those purposes, these are the best exercises you can do:\r\n \r\nDead Hangs\r\nSome social media trends are toxic (literally, in the case of the Tide Pod challenge), but some are actually very positive, and one that has caught on recently in the fitness community is the dead hang challenge. Basically, participants are asked to perform a dead hang (just as it sounds: hang from a pull-up bar without moving for as long as possible) at least once per day, for 30 days in a row, and track their progress. \r\nNot only can you expect a stronger grip and serious back pain relief (dead hangs are a great way to decompress the spine), but you’ll also find your shoulder joint mobility improving rapidly. That’s because supporting the weight of your body in a hanging position recruits the shoulder joint, mobilizing it in a way that counteracts the gradual wear and tear on the joint caused by prolonged sitting. Because these require almost no equipment and very little time, and because they aren’t particularly taxing on your body or nervous system but still come with a ton of benefits, they’re an absolute no-brainer to include in your routine.\r\nY Raises\r\nY raises are very easy to perform and require very little weight to be effective (in fact, you may want to start out with no weight whatsoever), but they engage your shoulders and upper back in concert, helping to safely train the rotator cuff and rear deltoids. They can be performed lying face-down on an incline bench or lying prone on an exercise mat, and because they aren’t taxing your musculature in any real way, they make for a great pre-workout exercise to prepare your shoulders for heavier lifting. \r\nIf you suffer from poor posture, daily Y raises are a phenomenal way to slowly counteract your slump and reset your shoulder girdle.\r\nExternal Rotations\r\nAs with Y raises, there are tons of variations to the technique of the external rotation, including using bands or dumbbells, but the concept is the same: we’re training our shoulders through an often-neglected plane of motion, helping to activate our rotator cuffs and increasing stability in the shoulder joint.\r\nIf you’ve been suffering from shoulder pain or discomfort, or if you’ve been told you have slumped or “caved in” shoulders, external rotations, performed regularly and with a gradual progression in load, will cure you.\r\nPushups\r\nRemember how we dragged people for relegating their shoulder work to indirect exercises like the bench press? Well, before you point out the irony of our including a chest-dominant exercise on this list, hear us out: pushups allow for a much greater range of motion in the shoulder joint, since you’re not back-down on a bench, and this added range of motion helps to train the hard-to-reach serratus anterior, nicknamed the “puncher’s muscle” for its role in, uh, throwing punches. \r\nA strong serratus anterior helps to stabilize the scapula, which not only allows you to throw harder punches but also creates greater stability all through the shoulder joint, alleviating or preventing shoulder impingement and allowing you to press heavier weights, which sounds like a win-win to us!\r\nBarbell Shoulder Press\r\nStanding or seated, the barbell shoulder press is your best bet for adding size and strength to your delts. The barbell allows you to load the maximum amount of weight while still maintaining stability in the lift, and progression is easy via the variables of increased sets, reps or weight (change plates are your friend for all shoulder exercises in particular). \r\nCheck your ego at the door and focus on tempo and technique, progressing only as quickly as they allow, and you’ll find you’ll have to start buying larger shirts in no time.\r\nStanding Single-Arm Dumbbell Shoulder Press\r\nDumbbell aficionados, never fear: we were never going to neglect you. Unilateral work is extremely important to help alleviate muscle imbalances, injury-proof your joints, strengthen your core and train your smaller stabilizer muscles, and the shoulders are no exception.\r\nThough you could do this exercise seated, standing allows for greater core activation, and being able to hold a load overhead is a skill with lots of carryover, in life and in sports.\r\nCable Lateral Raises\r\nPressing movements are great and all, but they don’t do a very good job of targeting the medial deltoid, and an underdeveloped medial deltoid takes width off your frame — and nobody wants that. \r\nThere’s no shortage of lateral raise variations, including dumbbell options, but we favor the cable variant for its ability to provide a stable force curve. For bonus points, lean slightly away from the cable stack to enlarge the range of motion and really burn out your side delts.\r\nFace Pulls\r\nFace pulls broke out into the mainstream exercise consciousness a few years ago, but they’re still widely neglected by most gym goers, to their detriment. Not only are face pulls an excellent way to train the rear delts, helping to create the “3D” shoulder look everyone is chasing after, but they also provide excellent rehabilitation for the rotator cuff and help to correct against the kind of postural imbalances prevalent among people who use computers too often (all of us). \r\nReverse Fly\r\nThe final exercise on this is also targeted to the rhomboid and trapezius muscles of the upper back as well as the rear delts, and can also be done with either a band, dumbbells or a cable machine. \r\nOn top of being a great way to build size and strength in these hard-to-reach muscle groups, the reverse fly works in tandem with face pulls to gradually correct the muscle imbalances caused by excessive sitting, helping you improve your posture and restore mobility to your shoulders and neck.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nMost Effective Arm WorkoutsBest Body Fat Bathroom ScalesThe 10 Best Leg Exercises", "keywords": "Shoulder, Workout", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "135", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding_1000/1005_shoulder-workout/askmen-lead-image-template-3-1718737071.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding_1000/1005_shoulder-workout.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 09:52:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45556", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Exfoliating Face Scrubs for Men", "title_slug": "best-exfoliating-face-scrubs-for-men", "title_hash": "721bc5afae7d73bb615634c1fafe2812", "summary": "When it comes to the fundamentals of grooming, most of you guys have it figured out: wash morning and night, use sunscreen during the day, and apply a moisturizer before bed. But what about exfoliating? If you think cleansing your face twice daily is enough to keep it in the best shape possible, well, we hate to break it to you, but you’re wrong.\r\nRELATED: Best Shower Gels for Men\r\n“Face washes and cleansers are meant to wash away dirt and impurities from the skin surface, while leaving the skin layers intact,” explains Dr. Shilesh Iyer, a dermatologist at New York Dermatology Group. “[Facial scrubs] go further, by removing portions of the dead skin layer that sits on top of the skin.”\r\nSo as it turns out, there is a big, fundamental difference between using a face cleanser and a facial scrub. But what is exfoliation, really? We'll get under the skin of that topic below, but the bottom line is that you should both cleanse and exfoliate if you want to keep your face looking its absolute", "content": "When it comes to the fundamentals of grooming, most of you guys have it figured out: wash morning and night, use sunscreen during the day, and apply a moisturizer before bed. But what about exfoliating? If you think cleansing your face twice daily is enough to keep it in the best shape possible, well, we hate to break it to you, but you’re wrong.\r\nRELATED: Best Shower Gels for Men\r\n“Face washes and cleansers are meant to wash away dirt and impurities from the skin surface, while leaving the skin layers intact,” explains Dr. Shilesh Iyer, a dermatologist at New York Dermatology Group. “[Facial scrubs] go further, by removing portions of the dead skin layer that sits on top of the skin.”\r\nSo as it turns out, there is a big, fundamental difference between using a face cleanser and a facial scrub. But what is exfoliation, really? We'll get under the skin of that topic below, but the bottom line is that you should both cleanse and exfoliate if you want to keep your face looking its absolute best, and we've rounded up a bunch of the best exfoliating facial scrubs that'll help you do just that\r\n\r\nWhy You Need to Exfoliate\r\n\r\nThe top layer of your skin (under that gross layer of dead skin, anyway) is known as the epidermis, and it serves a couple very important purposes: to protect what’s underneath, and to produce new skin cells. But as you get older, this new skin cell regeneration, or cell turnover, slows down. This leads to dead skin cells accumulating, often resulting in dull skin, clogged pores, and rough texture.\r\nThat's where an exfoliating scrub comes in.\r\n“Using an exfoliator can help smooth and improve skin texture, unclog pores, and even help with acne,” says Iyer. “Overall, exfoliators can give the skin a more polished appearance and reveal a more radiant [complexion].” Add to that the deep cleansing benefits that come with purging dead skin cells that lead to ingrown hair, and you have yourself a magical skin care product for men's skin. \r\nWhile a good exfoliant can, quite literally, help sweep away a multitude of skin concerns, another great perk of exfoliation is that smoother skin can more quickly and deeply absorb anything you put on it afterwards. (Think serums, moisturizers, and even acne treatments.) That means deep cleansing, even skin tone, and of course, glowing skin. \r\nSo what should you look for in an face exfoliator? Celebrity beauty and grooming expert Jodie Boland says that a good face scrub should be both easy to use and gentle on the skin. While fragrance is completely up to you, she recommends finding a face scrub — preferably made from natural ingredients — with “fine granules and a nice creamy texture that easily moves around your face and neck.” \r\n\r\nHow to Exfoliate\r\n\r\nAs for how often or when to use a face scrub, that all boils down to your skin type and how potent or active your facial scrub is. For example: If you’re using a product with alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) like glycolic acid or beta hydroxy acids (BHAs) like salicylic acid, those are both considered chemical exfoliant, so you’ll want to use them less frequently than something that relies solely on physical exfoliating particles such as pumice or jojoba beads.\r\nAs a general rule of thumb, Iyer advises her patients with more sensitive skin to exfoliate no more than once weekly. On the flipside, she notes that men with thick and oily skin may tolerate exfoliating as often as every other day.\r\nAnd if you think you don’t need a scrub because you have dry skin, think again! The truth is, most skin types — even dry skin — will benefit from going beyond just a face wash. However, the key to scrubbing off dry, dead skin is enlisting a more gentle approach and milder formula.\r\nThere is one exception, though. If you’re a guy with super sensitive skin or rosacea-prone facial skin, Iyer advises that you steer clear of a facial exfoliator altogether, “as they may exacerbate facial redness and capillary formation.” (If you’re still unsure of your actual skin type and how often you should scrub, ask your dermatologist or aesthetician for guidance.)\r\nAfter determining your skin type, slowly work a facial exfoliator into your weekly grooming regimen. Boland recommends using a men's facial scrub “either in the morning or evening before bed, and at least three to four times a week.” Per Boland, the following steps will help you achieve blemish-free skin:\r\n\r\n\tWet your face and neck with lukewarm warm\r\n\tApply a quarter-sized amount of face scrub on your fingertips\r\n\tStart on the neck using gentle, circular movements\r\n\tWork your way up the face, avoiding the eye area\r\n\tRinse all facial scrub off with warm water\r\n\r\n“You should use a facial cleanser on your facial skin before applying a scrub. But if you don’t have time to cleanse, a facial exfoliator will work as cleanser and exfoliator,” adds Boland.\r\nIf you’re oily or thick-skinned, pay extra attention to problem areas such as your T-zone, nose, and chin. And don’t forget to exfoliate your lips! You (and your partner) will appreciate how soft and smooth a little scrub can instantly make them. Never exfoliate around the eyes, though, as the skin in that area is thin and fragile.\r\nWhen you're finished, gently pat your face dry with a clean towel. Never rub freshly exfoliated skin because it can potentially irritate and redden.\r\nSo with all this information, the question still remains: which face scrub is right for you? Keep reading to see our favorite facial scrubs that we're loving right now.\r\n\r\nBest Face Scrubs for Men\r\n\r\nJack Black Face Buff Energizing Face Scrub\r\n\r\nFree of fragrances and parabens, this favorite facial scrub remains a grooming staple for men with dirty and oily skin. We’re fond of its mild scrubbing factor which eliminates dead skin and excess oils trapped inside pores. It carries the perfect consistency, requiring very little product with each use. The minty aroma is also energizing and will certainly help wake you up.\r\n$30 at Amazon.com\r\nKiehl's Facial Fuel Energizing Facial Scrub\r\n\r\n\r\nDeveloped expressly for men (but beloved by women, too), this exfoliator feels especially good during warmer months. Menthol provides an instantly cooling and refreshing sensation while caffeine helps reduce puffiness and tighten skin. furthermore, apricot kernel oil prevents your face from drying out by adding lightweight moisture.\r\n$42 at Kiehls.com\r\nSt. Ives Blackhead Clearing Green Tea Face Scrub\r\n\r\nThere is a misconception that any exfoliator found in the bargain bin does more harm than good to your skin. As a beloved AskMen Grooming Award Winner, this dermatologist-tested facial cleanser and exfoliating facial scrub proves skeptics wrong. It's loaded with green tea and salicylic acid, which are clinically proven to clear up acne scars, remove blackheads, and help prevent dreaded ingrown hairs, all without stripping skin of its natural oils. All in all, this affordable face scrub is a solid performer that surpasses its value on performance alone.\r\n$4.97 at Amazon.com\r\nScotch Porter Exfoliating Face Scrub\r\n\r\nFounded by Calvin Quallis, Scotch Porter touts slick packaging and innovative, yet eco-friendly formulas. Fortified with a bevy of skin-healthy botanicals and natural ingredients — such as purifying burdock root, exfoliating pomegranate enzymes, and hydrating aloe — the brand’s newly reformulated facial scrub provides superior results.\r\n$13.99 at ScotchPorter.com\r\nM3 Naturals Charcoal Face Scrub\r\n\r\n\r\nWe’ve preached the good word of activated charcoal long enough to convince you of its magical cleansing properties. This carbon-processed exfoliating facial scrub is combined with a truly undervalued skincare ingredient — dead sea salt — to create a detoxifying sensation that actually removes blackheads for invigorating results. You’ll definitely feel it act as a magnet while it draws out impurities.\r\n$25.81 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: How to Heal Your Sunburn\r\n\r\nEvery Man Jack Revive Exfoliating Face Scrub\r\n\r\n\r\nThis popular face scrub is a great introduction to the brand’s all-natural grooming catalog, utilizing key ingredients such as jojoba beads, marine extracts, and peppermint oil to cleanse and nourish your mug. Its mild texture and invigorating scent works on normal skin as well as sensitive skin types.\r\n$7.47 at Amazon.com\r\nBaxter of California Facial Scrub\r\n\r\nAlong with buffering dead skin cells, this phenomenal face wash also stimulates cell rejuvenation to further produce a fresher, smoother facial surface. The formula is pleasantly gritty with cornmeal and walnut shell pumice, and naturally lightly scented. Best of all, this cruelty-free skincare product ensures that no chemicals or parabens hurt any animals in your quest to keep that precious moneymaker looking good.\r\n$21 at Amazon.com\r\nBarrel and Oak Charcoal Face Scrub\r\n\r\n\r\nMade with deep-cleansing charcoal and exfoliating volcanic pumice, this face scrub for active men sounds harsh, but it leaves skin feeling soft and smooth thanks to the organic white birch extract. This particular scrub is also scented with Barrel and Oak's now-famous bourbon cedar scent, which strikes strong, pleasing tones that are noticeable without being overwhelming.\r\n$15.49 at Amazon.com\r\nMALIN+GOETZ Jojoba Face Scrub\r\n\r\n\r\nThis rich cleanser provides the ideal solution for dull, dry skin, and it delivers on both promises without any irritation. It gently buffs away dead skin with its finely ground jojoba beads and simultaneously hydrates thanks to its base of glycerin, sodium PCA and sodium hyaluronate, leaving skin soft, clean, and supple as soon as you rinse.\r\n$38 at MalinAndGoetz.com\r\nBrickell Men's Renewing Face Scrub\r\n\r\nMade with pumice and jojoba beads for deep exfoliation, and avocado butter, vitamin E, and aloe vera for soothing hydration, this renewing face scrub makes a great choice for just about any skin type. Its abundance of natural and organic ingredients is specially formulated to cleanse and replenish men's tougher skin so you can avoid ingrown hairs and irritation while relishing in a soft, smooth face.\r\n$22 at Amazon.com\r\nACURE Incredibly Clear Charcoal Lemonade Facial Scrub\r\n\r\nIf you're battling dull skin as well as acne, this 100-percent vegan scrub is perfect for men with oily skin. It harnesses the power of charcoal for a detoxifying deep clean, and lemon peel and blueberry for gentle, plant-powered exfoliation that sloughs off all the gross stuff at the surface, leaving skin feeling fresh and revived.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Skin Care Tips for Men\r\n\tBest Summer Sunscreens for Men\r\n\tGrooming Awards 2024: Best Face Products", "keywords": "Best, Exfoliating, Face, Scrubs, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-exfoliating-face-scrubs-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-4-1718807114.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-exfoliating-face-scrubs-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 09:52:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "45384", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The True Workhorse of Some Supreme Court Opinions? Footnotes.", "title_slug": "the-true-workhorse-of-some-supreme-court-opinions-footnotes", "title_hash": "0ec0a5dad8bf7f8fe4b2a0b0e620b16e", "summary": " The devil's in the details—footnotes can influence constitutional law.\nThe post The True Workhorse of Some Supreme Court Opinions? Footnotes. appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

When deployed in the Court’s opinions, most footnotes are indicators of precedent—giving the citations that tell which precedents apply to the present case. Ironically, when the Court overturns a long line of precedents, the footnote has even more work to do, because the opinion must cut loose from an established line of precedent and create a new one. As for example, in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the dueling footnotes in the majority and dissenting opinions marked a corresponding contest in public opinion and national politics. Justice Samuel Alito used 117 footnotes to ground his decision in precedent of history and tradition. Dissenting Justice Elena Kagan’s 31 footnotes offered a different concept of precedent, or rather, an attempt to reunite precedent with a different history and tradition.

There are two narratives of reproductive rights in American history. The first is a story of anti-abortion laws that sought to protect women who were pregnant from the dangers of the abortion, a story played out over 200 years; the second is a far shorter story of the effort to provide legal and safe abortions to women who wanted to end their pregnancies. The footnotes in the opinions in Dobbs featured these alternative histories. But like the warring readings of historical texts in the gun control cases, the historical scholarship was subject to opposing readings in Dobbs. In other words, the justices looked at the history differently, some seeing the later history as part of the whole story, others, under the doctrine of traditional values, seeing only one part of the history leading up to Dobbs. In the latter, recent precedent and older history warred with one another.

Justice Alito delivered the opinion of the Court in Dobbs. His introductory passage was remarkably similar to that in Roe v. Wade: “Abortion presents a profound moral issue on which Americans hold sharply conflicting views. Some believe fervently that a human person comes into being at conception and that abortion ends an innocent life. Others feel just as strongly that any regulation of abortion invades a woman’s right to control her own body and prevents women from achieving full equality. Still others in a third group think that abortion should be allowed under some but not all circumstances, and those within this group hold a variety of views about the particular restrictions that should be imposed.”

As an originalist who believed in judicial restraint, it was not surprising that Justice Alito found no basis in the language of the Constitution for a right to an abortion.

The opening passage seemed to view a balance of equities—legitimate but vying views of the abortion practice. But from the first moment he sat on the court, Justice Alito thought that Roe was badly reasoned and wrongly determined. He had no use for balance of equities doctrine. At his confirmation hearings, he said that he had an open mind on Roe and would be impartial, but his record on the Third Circuit and his general views on originalism suggested otherwise. He had been a conservative thinker from the time that he attended Princeton, then Yale Law School. He served on the Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit and was President George W. Bush’s choice to replace the retired Sandra Day O’Connor on the Court. Although there he voted with Justice Antonin Scalia 75 percent of the time, he was never a Scalia clone. Unlike other conservatives, he looked to the legislative record (in the states) for statutory meaning but preferred judicial restraint to the Court’s acting as a super legislature.

As an originalist who believed in judicial restraint, it was not surprising that Justice Alito found no basis in the language of the Constitution for a right to an abortion. Instead, it was “the Court [that] held that [the Constitution] confers a broad right to obtain one. [Roe] did not claim that American law or the common law had ever recognized such a right, and its survey of history ranged from the constitutionally irrelevant (e.g., its discussion of abortion in antiquity) to the plainly absolute convictions that the subject inspires. One’s philosophy, one’s experiences, one’s exposure to the raw edges of human existence, one’s religious training, one’s attitudes toward life and family and their values, and the moral standards one establishes and seeks to observe, are all likely to influence and to color one’s thinking and conclusions about abortion” incorrect (e.g., its assertion that abortion was probably never a crime under the common law).”

Alito’s statement of facts was incomplete. Historians are wary of bare facts, recitations of names and dates without broader context. A more nuanced and complex rendering of facts would include evidence that the first state laws were designed to protect the putative mother from the abortionist rather than to criminalize the mother’s actions. They came at a time when white women were second-class citizens, without the right to vote, hold office, or own property if they were married. Black women and Native women faced even greater hardships. But to Alito, the history in the legal briefs raising these issues did not have a bearing on the constitutional status of abortion. The history that did matter was the history and tradition—the precedent—of criminalization.

Alito was not interested in his judicial predecessors’ struggle to define viability or the various formulas they assessed to weigh women’s health versus the potential rights of the fetus or the unborn child. “The Court did not explain the basis for this line, and even abortion supporters have found it hard to defend Roe’s reasoning.” For this, he quoted not a supporter of Roe but John Hart Ely of Yale Law School, an opponent: “One prominent constitutional scholar wrote that he ‘would vote for a statute very much like the one the Court end[ed] up drafting’ if he were ‘a legislator,’ but his assessment of Roe was memorable and brutal: Roe was ‘not constitutional law’ at all and gave ‘almost no sense of an obligation to try to be.’” Later in the opinion, and then in the footnotes, Alito cited line and verse from academic commentators to demonstrate how inconsistent and incoherent Justice Harry Blackmun’s opinion was. But he did not cite historians, in particular the historians in the various friends of the court briefs to the abortion cases. One supposes, perhaps naively, that an opinion resting on the doctrine of history and tradition would entail a wide and deep survey of historical writings. Not so here.

Instead, like Scalia in District of Columbia v. Heller, Alito appointed himself the official court chronicler. Professional historians endure years of graduate training, and the results of Alito’s spontaneous career change would not have impressed professional historians. His history was a bare recital of bits and pieces of statute without context or contemporary analysis. They came from different places at different times, but he lumped them together: “At the time of Roe, 30 States still prohibited abortion at all stages. In the years prior to that decision, about a third of the States had liberalized their laws, but Roe abruptly ended that political process.” He gave evidence for this blanket statement in an appendix, then again at the end of the footnotes, but there again he simply recited the bare bones of the statutes, with their dates. There was no attempt to pierce the veil of the legislative debates or the surrounding events to reveal historical context. Legislative intent to bar the practice of abortion was assumed.

By contrast with the variety of state laws, Alito found that Roe imposed a “highly restrictive regime on the entire Nation, and it effectively struck down the abortion laws of every single State.” Footnote 3 and the appendix underlined the point. But it was wrong, for no sooner did the decision come down than protest against it led to various states’ reimposition of restrictions. The opposition led to more litigation and ultimately to Dobbs. Although “Justice Byron White aptly put it in his dissent, the decision represented the ‘exercise of raw judicial power,’” it was never an effective power, for as White continued, and Alito conceded, “it sparked a national controversy that has embittered our political culture for a half century.”

Alito’s history of the abortion rights controversy after Roe demonstrated to him that the rationale for its holding was never really established. The court in Webster v. Reproductive Health Services (1989) and Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania v. Casey (1992) reconsidered Roe and split over the precedent. A switch of one vote would have overturned Roe, but, although expected by many observers, that vote did not come. Instead, in fragmented opinions, members of the court defended, attacked, or revised Roe, supplanting the original trimester formula with an “undue burden” standard. In Casey, the idea that “stare decisis, which calls for prior decisions to be followed in most instances, required adherence to what it called Roe’s ‘central holding’—that a State may not constitutionally protect fetal life before ‘viability’—even if that holding was wrong.” Actually, none of three justices in the latter “joint opinion” in Casey—Anthony Kennedy, Sandra Day O’Connor, and David Souter—said anything about a “wrong.” But they did invoke the reliance that pregnant women had placed on Roe as one important reason to retain it.

The persistence and political influence of the opponents of abortion rights proved to Alito that “as has become increasingly apparent in the intervening years, Casey did not achieve that goal. Americans continue to hold passionate and widely divergent views on abortion, and state legislatures have acted accordingly.” What in fact some legislatures did was to ask the Court to overturn Roe, while in the meantime undermining it. Alito continued: “And in this case, 26 States have expressly asked this Court to overrule Roe and Casey and allow the States to regulate or prohibit pre-viability abortions.”

In Dobbs, Mississippi wished “to uphold the constitutionality of [its] law that generally prohibits an abortion after the 15th week of pregnancy—several weeks before the point at which a fetus is now regarded as ‘viable’ outside the womb.” Alito ignored that portion of the state’s case and found that “the State’s primary argument is that we should reconsider and overrule Roe and Casey and once again allow each State to regulate abortion as its citizens wish.” In answer to the state’s plea, Alito decided, “We hold that Roe and Casey must be overruled. The Constitution makes no reference to abortion, and no such right is implicitly protected by any constitutional provision, including the one on which the defenders of Roe and Casey now chiefly rely—the due process clause of the 14th Amendment. That provision has been held to guarantee some rights that are not mentioned in the Constitution, but any such right must be ‘deeply rooted in this Nation’s history and tradition’ and ‘implicit in the concept of ordered liberty.’” So the end of Roe required rejection of substantive due process, the absence of deep rooting in the nation’s history and tradition, and a reading of the open-ended formula in Palko v. Connecticut for the exceptions (not the inclusions) of “ordered liberty” of the Bill of Rights in the 14th Amendment.

It was the history and tradition portion of the majority-opinion decision that redefined precedent and required the display of historical evidence. But among historians, one cannot simply offer historical text without some explanation. In Alito’s view, that enterprise did not require a deep or broad historical account. The historians of abortion in the friends of the court briefs had already provided some context, and Alito discarded it. Instead, he offered the same kind of bare-bones historical recital that one found in Heller, as if history were simple and easily read, like the language of the Second Amendment.

But unlike Heller, which was something of a novel case, Roe had lots of baggage that had to be thrown overboard. “Roe’s defenders characterize the abortion right as similar to the rights recognized in past decisions involving matters such as intimate sexual relations, contraception, and marriage, but abortion is fundamentally different, as both Roe and Casey acknowledged, because it destroys what those decisions called ‘fetal life’ and what the law now before us describes as an ‘unborn human being.’” Quoting from the decision that he was discarding was clever, but the definition of unborn was itself subject to a long history, which was not even alluded to in Alito’s opinion. It was simply implied. That is, Alito assumed that the embryo was a human being waiting to be born. The fetus was an intermediate stage. The dissenters feared that the next step would be the undoing of privacy rights like birth control, but Alito insisted that Griswold v. Connecticut was not in danger.

The other difference from Heller was that Roe was not long-established precedent. Alito pitted recent precedent against precedent rooted in history and tradition. The latter won. “Stare decisis, the doctrine on which Casey’s controlling opinion was based, does not compel unending adherence to Roe’s abuse of judicial authority. Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division.” That was certainly so—abortion rights had become, for many Americans, more important than the wars in the Middle East at the time.

The decision seemed to end here. “It is time to heed the Constitution and return the issue of abortion to the people’s elected representatives. ‘The permissibility of abortion, and the limitations, upon it, are to be resolved like most important questions in our democracy: by citizens trying to persuade one another and then voting.’” But the opinion was only just beginning; more than 80 percent of the opinion was yet to come.

Excerpted from The Supreme Court Footnote: A Surprising History by Peter Charles Hoffer, published by NYU Press, 2024.

The post The True Workhorse of Some Supreme Court Opinions? Footnotes. appeared first on Rewire News Group.

", "keywords": "The, True, Workhorse, Some, Supreme, Court, Opinions, Footnotes.", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "141", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Footnotes_SCOTUS-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "368", "post_url": "https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2024/06/18/the-true-workhorse-of-some-supreme-court-opinions-footnotes/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-20 05:18:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44961", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Hundreds Are Urging This Young Woman to ‘RUN’ After Seeing the Red Flag Texts Sent by Her ‘Unhinged’ Male Friend", "title_slug": "why-hundreds-are-urging-this-young-woman-to-run-after-seeing-the-red-flag-texts-sent-by-her-unhinged-male-friend", "title_hash": "e242ab1df46f42ba698693ef54a796f5", "summary": "A young woman had to block a new “friend” who sent her a series of offensive and unwanted…", "content": "A young woman had to block a new “friend” who sent her a series of offensive and unwanted…", "keywords": "Why, Hundreds, Are, Urging, This, Young, Woman, ‘RUN’, After, Seeing, the, Red, Flag, Texts, Sent, Her, ‘Unhinged’, Male, Friend", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "142", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/image4.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/why-hundreds-are-urging-this-young-woman-to-run-after-seeing-the-red-flag-texts-sent-by-her-unhinged-male-friend/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-17 22:11:09", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44960", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Bandanas for Your EDC", "title_slug": "best-bandanas-for-your-edc", "title_hash": "070bc5559ac5339a35a3e54bc80910ed", "summary": "These Stylish Bandanas Add Utility to Your Everyday Carry", "content": "There are valuable tools in every toolbox, quite literally – but what about in your menswear wardrobe? Your hard-working chambray shirt, your rugged leather boots, your trusted pair of selvedge denim – those are all tools in their own right. And yet, the best bandanas actually fit the bill even better than those essentials, and the right one is a crucial addition to your everyday carry. \r\nIn the same way you put on a tough field watch, pack your favorite pocket knife and grab a sturdy canvas bag to head into the great outdoors, consider adding a bandana to your rotation. Typically made from cotton, cotton blends or performance fabric, the best men’s bandanas function as a general catch-all. They also serve as a useful tool for keeping dirt and grime off your face on a hike. The right one even functions as a cleaning cloth, as a face cover or as a way to keep the sun off your neck.\r\nAnd yes, the best bandanas have an iconic history all their own. After all, it’s been exactly 40 years since Bruce Springsteen famously sported a red bandana onstage and hanging from the back pocket of his blue jeans on the cover of his seminal LP Born In The U.S.A. \r\nBut back to the present day. Within your bag itself, use a bandana to wrap or store your watch, a pen and pocket notebook or other gadgets – if you can dream it, the right bandana can prove useful. \r\nAnd back in the city, you can substitute a bandana (a clean one, please) in place of a pocket square – provided the aesthetic is more casually rugged (think: With a linen chore coat or an unlined sport coat, rather than black tie).\r\nRELATED: Best Sunglasses for Men\r\n \r\nThe best bandanas are so useful, in fact, that you might find it worthwhile to bring along more than one. It doesn’t hurt that they’re trending right now, as all things Western wear continue to invade every space, but like the best tools, the best bandanas have stood the test of time – and there’s no time like the present to buy one of our favorites. \r\nCantonment Opti Set\r\n\r\nIt’s sometimes best to go straight to the source if you want to upgrade your everyday carry – in this instance, Cantonment is obsessed with the versatility of the bandana, or kerchief. It’s the brand’s flagship product, and comes in sets of two, each of which pay homage to diverse fields like watchmaking, automobiles and music via stylish prints. Beyond that, each kerchief is made from super-soft, fast-drying cotton, and comes with a distinctive toggle strap for easy hauling.\r\n$56 at Cantonment.com \r\nLine of Trade Road Trip Edition Bandana\r\n\r\nA bandana has roots as varied as its many uses, with the handy accessory often popping up in the pockets of hardy roadtrippers, riders and ranchers. Line of Trade’s printed bandana pays homage to those roots and then some, using a soft blend of linen and rayon for durability and comfort. It comes in two stylish shades, and is available for a low price from the in-house brand at Bespoke Post.\r\n$20 at BespokePost.com \r\nWazoo Tracking Bandana\r\n\r\nThe best bandanas for your everyday carry are downright useful any way you fold, carry or store them, but what about a rugged kerchief that takes things a step further? For adventures in the great outdoors and far afield, Wazoo developed an innovative bandana printed with 21 of the most common North American animal tracks. It’s an especially useful tool for hunting, hiking and camping, and the print even looks stylish enough as an accessory alongside an indigo denim jacket back in town.\r\n$15 at BespokePost.com \r\nMister Bandana Buckskin Rider Bandana\r\n\r\nSome of the most recognizable bandanas over time have been printed with Western motifs or Americana-inspired designs, and you can leave it to the aptly named Mister Bandana to incorporate a bit of both into its offerings. This 100% cotton number is lightweight yet durable, and it’s crafted with care in the United States.\r\n \r\n$43 at MisterBandana.com \r\nTaylor Stitch Bandana in Dark Blue Floral\r\n\r\nThe bandana resides in both the world of form and the world of function. When worn around the neck as a kerchief, say, beneath the collar of a chambray shirt, it becomes a next-level style move. That’s what Taylor Stitch likely had in mind with its handsome bandana, an organic cotton option you can use to mop your brow just as easily as you can wear it in pocket square form. The blue floral print is also eye-catching and versatile.\r\n$35 at TaylorStitch.com \r\nLevi’s Multi-Purpose Bandana\r\n\r\nIt’s no surprise that a company with distinct workwear roots like Levi’s – a brand that helped bring the blue jean to the masses in the United States – churns out classic pieces like an ever-helpful bandana. Take your pick from a vast array of colors (not unlike Levi’s jeans), and use the paisley pattern to add some flair to everyday denim looks.\r\n$12 at Amazon.com \r\nMISSION Cooling Bandana\r\n\r\nThe best bandanas can seemingly hop from universe to universe – from the hiking trail to a music festival, for instance. What do both of those scenarios have in common? Long hours in the sun, so MISSION’s cooling bandana, with its performance fabric and quick-drying design, works perfectly in both situations (and beyond). Whether you use it as a face covering, a headband or a catch-all, don’t leave home without it.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \r\nCarhartt Lightweight Neck Gaiter\r\n\r\nA gaiter and a bandana, while not quite the same on the surface, land in the same “ballpark,” so to speak, of accessories for your everyday carry. For maximum coverage across your face, neck and back, or as a helpful headband of sorts, Carhartt designed this surprisingly stylish option. It boasts UPF protection from the sun, while the FastDry technology helps keep you cool, and the design can even be used as a foldable storage solution in your pack when not being worn.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com \r\nTough Headwear Large Bandana\r\n\r\nWhat’s more classic than a black bandana? A red bandana, perhaps (thank you again, Bruce Springsteen), but Tough Headwear gets the details right on this rogue-ish black bandana. Soft polyester construction dries more quickly than a standard cotton option, while the pattern is quite literally tough, strong and eye-catching. Want a simple bandana to upgrade your daily carry? Consider this affordable pack.\r\n \r\n$4.99 at Amazon.com \r\nB53 100% Cotton Bandana\r\n\r\nThe best bandanas have their uses far afield all across the globe, but it seems fitting that you can find some options still made in the United States, and made with the spirit of the open road. The classic cotton bandana in a classic selection of colors is hardly ever out of place as far as both casual style and rugged functionality are concerned. Consider this fairly priced set a prime addition to your EDC.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nTop Swimwear Trends for MenBest Men's Sandals for SummerBest Short Shorts for Men", "keywords": "Best, Bandanas, for, Your, EDC", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "117", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-bandanas-for-your-edc/askmen-lead-image-template-1718376834.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-bandanas-for-your-edc.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-17 22:11:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44958", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Experts Reveal the Most Common Workout Mistakes That Are Holding You Back", "title_slug": "experts-reveal-the-most-common-workout-mistakes-that-are-holding-you-back", "title_hash": "19173efd8dba49787f91fba034e5e877", "summary": "Are You Sabotaging Your Progress With These 8 Home Workout Mistakes?", "content": "Ever since 2020 and the onset of the global pandemic, lots and lots of people worldwide have made a permanent transition from commercial gyms to household setups, and while we're all for that, there are some problems to training at home, beyond just the difficulty in finding a spotter.\r\nFor one thing, lots of lifters really honed their technique in commercial gyms in the presence of more experienced lifters. Having gym veterans around to help guide the younger, newer and less experienced people was an unsung benefit to gym culture, and one that isn't easy to replace. But the troubles don't end there.\r\nFrom poor workout form to skipping warm-ups, there are a number of training mistakes being made in home gyms across the country. And if you’re nodding your head at some of these listed below, you’re not alone.\r\nRELATED: 10 Tricks to Build More Muscle\r\nLuckily, all hope is not lost. We reached out to a couple of our favorite fitness experts to get their take on the most common training mistakes being made at home and how you can correct them.\r\n\r\n1. Training Too Hard\r\n\r\nAn intense workout shouldn’t feel easy, but if you’re experiencing pain beyond the typical muscle soreness, you’re probably training too hard. “It’s one thing to be exercising hard, to the point of discomfort, that means muscles are being challenged to work harder than normal, to do more than they’re used to; it’s another thing to exercise to the point of pain – whether that’s in a joint like the knees, a series of joints like the intervertebral segments of the lumbar spine (aka the lower back) or shoulders. During exercise, people should seek to work hard but to avoid pain,” says Pete McCall, certified strength and conditioning specialist (CSCS) and spokesperson for Voltaren.\r\nAdditionally, if the pain is not coming from over-exertion, McCall recommends using a mirror or filming yourself while exercising to identify why a certain body part – such as your knee or back – is uncomfortable and if form could be to blame.\r\n\r\n2. Progress Too Quickly\r\n\r\nEveryone wants to make progress in their workouts, however, moving on too quickly to the next move or a heavier weight, when you haven’t thoroughly completed your initial exercise, will ultimately do your body a disservice. “Although progression is required in order to continue to see improvements, always have movement quality and safety in mind,” says Max Castrogaleas, MA, CSCS, TSAC-F, EP-C, exercise physiologist at HSS.\r\n“Before you decide to add an external load or try a more challenging exercise, check to see if you are performing the current exercise with proper technique. You can also make the current exercise more challenging by either changing the tempo or by increasing the time or repetitions.”\r\nOn a similar note, Theodore “Teddy” Savage, Head of Health and Fitness Excellence at Planet Fitness shares that when it comes to tracking your progress and setting goals, you should base them on what you are capable of doing, without focusing on what a friend or someone on social media can do. “Move at your own tempo, only compete with yourself, and don’t limit your progress by comparing it to someone else’s progress,” he adds.\r\nRELATED: What Is Eccentric Training and Why You Should Start It\r\n\r\n3. Equipment Safety\r\n\r\nOne common mistake made in home gyms that is unrelated to the actual workout itself, but nevertheless critical to remember, is safety. “Gyms typically have specific equipment which they maintain regularly, while an individual may have old equipment at home that could potentially break,” says Aaron Karp MS, ATC, CSCS, exercise physiologist at HSS. One example he shares is having an old resistance band that snaps and breaks in your face and, of course, heavy weights can cause even more damage if not maintained, inspected, and used with caution.\r\n\r\n4. Skipping Rest Days\r\n\r\nEven if your workouts at home are not as intense as they were at the gym, you still need to give your body time to rest and recover. “When you exert stress on your muscles during exercise or physical activity it results in muscle tissue damage. The muscle damage that occurs has been associated with DOMS (Delayed-Onset Muscle Soreness), which is typically characterized by muscle pain, tenderness, and swelling,” says Castrogaleas.\r\nWhile he adds that muscle damage can be good for your body – “it is an important factor for muscle hypertrophy/muscle growth” – too much of it without recovery time can negatively impact performance and increase your risk of injury. You can still remain active while taking rest days, too. Adding a gentle yoga flow or walks to your routine can keep your circulation going and benefit your mental health, as well.\r\n\r\n5. Push-Up Problems\r\n\r\nPush-ups play a role in many at-home exercise routines, however, they are often performed incorrectly as a result of improper form. “Many people will drop their head which can place strain on the neck or drop their hips which could cause low-back discomfort; the whole body should move as one system – hips and shoulders should be straight and move in a line,” says McCall.\r\nHe recommends pushing the hands on the floor and squeezing the glutes to engage the core muscles. “The nerve endings in the hand will signal the deep muscles that stabilize the spine to contract, enhancing stability, the glutes will keep the hips stable.”\r\nRELATED: Should You Start Doing Push-Ups Every Day?\r\n\r\n6. HIIT Not Intense Enough\r\n\r\nHigh-intensity interval training aka HIIT, which focuses on short bursts of vigorous exercise, is meant to be just that: short and vigorous. Nevertheless, all too often, this form of exercise is completed at a moderate pace and for too long of a duration. “For high-intensity exercises, 20-30 seconds is optimal, BUT they should be working hard enough so that by the end they are completely out of breath,” says McCall.\r\n“Exercising at the highest intensity for longer than 30 seconds isn’t necessarily sustainable, muscle cells only contain a finite amount of ATP, the chemical used for energy, and when depleted muscles could actually use amino acids for fuel which, in turn, reduces the amount available for repairing muscle after a workout.”\r\nHe notes that the key way to get benefits from a HIIT workout and put your best effort in is to focus on your intensity and not duration. If you find you have a hard time keeping track of duration, consider using a timer setting on your phone or base your pace off the chorus of a song in your workout playlist.\r\n\r\n7. Assessing Difficulty\r\n\r\nWhen you’re basing your workout off of a video or instruction guide, as opposed to getting a specific recommendation from a trainer, it can be hard to gauge what’s too difficult for your body at this stage in the game. “Sometimes we look for exercises that are used to strengthen a certain area of the body, for example performing squats for lower body strength, but fail to consider what is required to perform these exercises with good technique. Do I have enough mobility to go through a full range of motion during the movement? And do I have enough stability to provide my body with control while we are performing the movement?” notes Castrogaleas.\r\nHe recommends going backward before moving forward and looking at the steps involved in a new exercise move. Before attempting it, start developing the proper movement patterns, and, eventually, you can progress to the more advanced option.\r\n\r\n8. Skipping Warm Ups and Cool Downs\r\n\r\nWhile your warmup and cool down might not be the things you’re showing off on Instagram, they’re still important and should not be neglected – even if you’re short on time. “We have to prepare our body for the activity we are about to perform so that we are able to maximize our movement capability during the workout,” says Castrogaleas.\r\nIdalis Velazquez, Beachbody Super Trainer NASM, CPT, FNS, Pre/Post Natal Creator of 30 Day Breakaway notes that warming up the hips, in particular, is critical for everything from running to performing squats. “The less restricted your hips are, the more potential your body has for strength, power, mobility, and overall athleticism,” she says.\r\nOnce you’ve finished your laps, reps, or spinning sesh, you don’t want to skip the cooldown either. “ Equally important [to a warm up] is an effective cooldown stretch, which is more static in nature. It will allow you to lower your heart rate, alleviate soreness, and loosen tightness in the muscles,” adds Savage.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Leg Exercises\r\n\tHigh-Protein Foods Swaps\r\n\tRevealed: The Best Supplements of 2024", "keywords": "Experts, Reveal, the, Most, Common, Workout, Mistakes, That, Are, Holding, You, Back", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/common-at-home-workout-mistakes/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1718631888.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/common-at-home-workout-mistakes.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-17 22:11:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44959", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Everything You Need to Know About Demisexuals", "title_slug": "everything-you-need-to-know-about-demisexuals", "title_hash": "744aa6c97e4a2f9ccb0d5203c9f40cb2", "summary": "Dating comes with plenty of challenges. But for those who identify as demisexual, there are a few added layers to navigate — particularly when trying to explain their position to those that aren’t familiar with the term.\r\n“A demisexual is usually defined as someone who isn’t interested in sex except in the context of a strong emotional connection or bond,” explains sexologist Carol Queen. \r\n“Since this is very common among people who have been raised with traditional values (‘no sex until marriage’ could be a version of this), she says, people may view demisexuals as espousing conservative views or being ‘prudish’ when they are simply people who function differently. \r\nAccording to Queen, the demisexual identity has less of an emphasis on sex in general — unless there’s a connection with someone who really awakens it.\r\nBut try telling that to someone you’ve been on a few dates with, and things can get tricky. Not to mention, spending time forging a connection only to find out that this", "content": "Dating comes with plenty of challenges. But for those who identify as demisexual, there are a few added layers to navigate — particularly when trying to explain their position to those that aren’t familiar with the term.\r\n“A demisexual is usually defined as someone who isn’t interested in sex except in the context of a strong emotional connection or bond,” explains sexologist Carol Queen. \r\n“Since this is very common among people who have been raised with traditional values (‘no sex until marriage’ could be a version of this), she says, people may view demisexuals as espousing conservative views or being ‘prudish’ when they are simply people who function differently. \r\nAccording to Queen, the demisexual identity has less of an emphasis on sex in general — unless there’s a connection with someone who really awakens it.\r\nBut try telling that to someone you’ve been on a few dates with, and things can get tricky. Not to mention, spending time forging a connection only to find out that this person is actually not someone you’re sexually attracted to despite the bond you’ve created adds even more time to the process, and can mean confusion for both parties involved.\r\nRELATED: What Does It Mean to Be Asexual?\r\nWhat else should you be aware of when it comes to demisexuality? Here’s everything you need to know about demisexuals — from the way they view relationships to where they fall on the asexual spectrum, and tips for navigating the dating scene if you identify this way (or are seeing someone that does).\r\n\r\nDemisexuals and Arousal\r\n\r\nArousal, as most of us know it, is typically visually driven. Whether it’s fantasizing over that smoking hot woman you sat across from on the train during your commute or watching your favorite porn flick, the process of getting turned on is usually a sight-driven experience. \r\nBut not so for demisexuals. Because of this, David Ezell, clinical director of Darien Wellness says there are fewer demisexual men than women. \r\n“It is rare in men because men are, with these few exceptions, visually stimulated,” he explains. “For example, pornography (save for written forms) exploits men’s visual stimulation. Most males see something that attracts them and feel a need to pursue that object; the power of images drives them.\"\r\nBut Ezell says demisexuals don’t experience the world that way. \r\n“While they can acknowledge visual attraction, it is not the basis of arousal,” he explains. “Arousal for them comes about as they become more intimate and share experiences and intimacies with a person.” \r\nThis may be new news to you gentlemen, but the process of connection-based arousal is very much in line with the way women experience it. \r\n“While women do experience visual stimulation, it is not nearly as important to them as emotional connection,” he says.\r\nRELATED: What Is ‘Sexual Responsiveness’ and Why Is It Important? \r\n\r\nDemisexuals on the Asexual Spectrum\r\n\r\nThose who identify as demisexuals do fall on the asexual spectrum — but unlike asexual people, demisexuals are capable of feeling significant sexual attraction, in specific contexts. \r\nRELATED: Different Sexual Orientations, Explained \r\n“Asexual spectrum folk’s main issue may be with the fact that many people don’t understand them or consider asexuality normal,” explains Queen. “So if they yearn for a sexual connection, it’s mainly because they want to fit in, especially in the dating and socializing world, rather than that they really want sex. And of course the emergence of the ‘ace’ community means that there is more support for not fitting in this way.\"\r\nBoth demisexuals and asexuals still want companionship. But while those on the asexual spectrum are able to identify a partner for said companionship based on an array of other personality factors, demisexuals still hold the question of when and if a sexual connection will happen when vetting potential mates. \r\n“The biggest dating issue for a demisexual may be navigating this question of sexual desire,” says Queen, “When/if, and with whom and under what circumstances.” \r\nAlso, the way that demisexuals go about seeking out these potential partners differs from the norm. \r\n“Many [demisexuals] don’t really date, but rather become close to someone in their circle,” says Queen. “That might be a common experience, even a strategy. And of course, many people who date don’t have sex right away or maybe ever, which can be a strategy for a demisexual person trying out connections with others — similar to a non-demi person just being especially choosy about who they get sexual with.\"\r\n\r\nIf You’re Dating a Demisexual\r\n\r\nIf you’re dating someone who identifies as demisexual, Ezell says the first thing you need to do is to forget about what you typically expect the trajectory of the dating process to be like. \r\n\"Change your expectations about timelines,” he says. “Connection is what drives [demisexuals], and that occurs on a slower timeline.” \r\nThat can be a tough pill to swallow, especially if you’re not the patient type. But fostering a connection with a demisexual that’s based on time and experience together is the only path that will lead you to success as far as dating goes.\r\nRELATED: Thinking of Breaking Up Because of the Sex? Try This First\r\nStep two in dating someone who’s demisexual? If you’re used to being in relationships that become physical right away, or use that as a basis for feeling wanted and secure in a relationship, you’ll need to check your ego at the door. \r\nHowever, if you’re a highly sexual person who will feel shut out and frustrated by not having sex for a lengthy amount of time make you feel less wanted or cared about, ultimately, you and a demisexual person might not be a good fit for each other. \r\n\r\n If You Are Demisexual\r\n\r\nQueen says that the most beneficial thing demisexuals can do for themselves during their search for a partner is to be straightforward about their identity. “I would always argue for the demisexual person to be upfront and communicate about things in the dating world,” she says. \r\n“Specifically because they may find themselves dating someone who is in it for the sexual possibilities, and maybe not the close bond!” It can be awkward to take sex off the table right off the bat — and it’s not exactly the type of light first-date conversation you’d ideally want to have. \r\nBut Queen points out that the sooner you figure out what’s on the agenda for your potential match, the better off you both will be. \r\n“This is a way for the demisexual person to prioritize people who, if they get bonded, will accept them and treat them well,” says Queen.\r\nBecause of the gendered expectations and trends around attraction and arousal, demisexual men may have more skin in the game, according to Ezell, in that when they do feel attracted to a partner, this is a person that matters. \r\n“If the male is the demisexual partner, sharing experiences will mean a great deal to him,” he says. “Men connect with people they share experiences with much more so than women, who connect with shared intimacies.\"\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat Does It Mean to Be Aromantic? Modern Dating Terms You Need to KnowWhat Does It Mean to Be ‘Fraysexual’?", "keywords": "Everything, You, Need, Know, About, Demisexuals", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "125", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2017/04/18-041439-everything_you_need_to_know_about_demisexuals.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/everything-you-need-to-know-about-demisexuals.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-17 22:11:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44956", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Watches Under $1,000", "title_slug": "best-watches-under-1000", "title_hash": "a840e13d953ce5057327dab1dc19e8cf", "summary": "Most of us can't afford a Patek. But these options aren't too shabby. (Shh, don't tell the Watch Snob.)", "content": "When it comes to wearable status symbols, men arguably get the short end of the stick. The one exception, however, is the wristwatch.\r\nUnsurprisingly, then, the first major purchase for a lot of those men is a luxury watch — something premium, eye-catching and well made. The trouble is, most watches that fit those criteria also cost a small fortune. High-end Swiss watches can exceed the cost of a new car! But don't despair – with a little research and know-how, you can find a quality luxury watch, with serious aesthetic appeal, that doesn't set you back an arm and a leg.\r\nRELATED: Best Watches Under $250\r\nIn our current tech-crunched days, a bona fide, well-made analog wristwatch makes a statement about your values, your taste, and your approach to life in general. Now, more than ever, an appreciation of timekeeping is the mark of a man of means — or one who means to be.\r\nYou can buy a functional watch from a decent name brand for under $500, or you can splurge on a more recognizable brand name under $2,500, and when you’ve really made it, you could even drop some major cash for the best watch under $10,000. But just know that the perfect price point for any beginner lands right under a grand. Consider it in the way you would a custom-tailored suit or pair of handmade shoes: You’re past the point of growing out of something and establishing your permanent style is more a process of refinement than experimentation.\r\n\r\nBest Watches Under $1,000\r\n\r\n“All high-end watch manufacturers spend a great deal of money and energy in research and development,” notes David Lee, general manager of watches at StockX, the live “bid/ask” luxury marketplace backed by Eminem and Mark Wahlberg. “However, most lower-price point brands cannot do so at a similar scale. But a small number allow technological advances and techniques to trickle down to their lower end price points. A perfect example is Seiko, which borrows from the super lux Credor and high-end Grand Seiko companies.”\r\nAnother rule of thumb: “Complications are always cool,” Lee says. “So if you find an automatic chronograph or day-date at this price point, that is a great value.”\r\nIndependent brands are also trending. “One of the recent trends in the watch industry is the huge growth and popularity in small independent brands. While the big brands rely heavily on what has been popular for them in the past, a lot of innovation and new design concepts are being driven by the independents,” Lee explains. “You can find a great deal of value and originality with some of them.”\r\nYou should avoid “fashion” brands, however, whose watches are licensed out and mass-produced. “You end up paying for the brand name, and not the quality of the watch,” Lee points out. “You’ll find better value in actual watch brands.”\r\n\r\nWhat to Keep in Mind\r\n\r\nInvest in Swiss: If you can, with few exceptions, you’ll want to buy a Swiss watch from well-respected brands such as Tissot, Alpina, Seiko and TAG Heuer. \"Not only will Swiss watches hold their value better, they'll be more reliable in the long run as they are generally easier to service and maintain,\" says Blake Buettner, director of watches at StockX.\r\nRELATED: Best Watches Under $100\r\nSwiss-made watches aren't the final word in watchmaking, but they're among the most elegant and the most respected thanks to the tried-and-true Swiss movement inside — the same movement you’ll find in watches priced much higher.\r\nConsider the Chronograph: Chronographs — i.e., watches with multiple functions — offer more bang for the buck. They hold their value better due to the complexity of the piece, look (and are) more impressive, and are always remain in demand.\r\n“There are plenty of reputable Swiss brands that offer chronographs under $1,000 that won't feel out of place in a room full of enthusiasts.\" Buettner explains. \"In this price range, don't expect bespoke mechanical movements or the use of exotic materials. Rather, look for tried and true workhorse movements, either mechanical or quartz movement, from well-known suppliers such as ETA or Sellita, which will maintain their accuracy, and be readily serviceable by your local watch shop.”\r\nDon't Be Cheap: So how far under a grand should you go? Be prepared to spend at least $500 on your investment-grade timepiece. That’s still a far cry from Rolex territory, which start around a cool $5,000, but the watches we’ve selected here will earn you respect even from self-professed watch guys, and quite possibly even admiration at your financial acumen. And don’t shy away from the styles closest to the $1,000 mark, even if it means vending machine lunches for a month. High-end watches hold their value well, after all.\r\nWhen it comes to watches, most people won’t be able to distinguish the entry-level model from the higher priced pieces in any case. And if and when you do decide to trade up once more, you’ll have something worth a good chunk of change to get started with.\r\nHere, we're putting you wise to some of the best watches under $1,000 — with style and reliability that suggests a much higher price point.\r\nYou want to show the world that you’re someone to be taken seriously and that your time is literally valuable — as it should be if you don’t want anyone to waste it. So here we go with the best watches under $1,000.\r\nLongines HydroConquest\r\n\r\nBased in Saint-Imier, Switzerland, Longines was founded in 1832 and its winged hourglass logo is the oldest registered trademark of any watch brand. If you're only buying one watch, and you're OK inching above the $1,000 mark, we suggest the Longines Conquest, the brands classic go-to. But for under $1,000, the HydroConquest is as serious as it sounds, making it a reliable companion any day of the week. The stainless steel case and band give it heft and durability, and overall it's designed to be the perfect combination of style and technical innovation complete with an automatic movement.\r\n$848.01 at Amazon.com\r\nRaymond Weil Freelancer Diver Automatic Watch\r\n\r\nThis diver watch is a suitable option for yacht owners and office-workers alike. It blends durable aesthetics and pricey components into an opulent, sporty-but-not-too-sporty design. A sapphire crystal face, black bezel, and folding buckle clasp with double push-security system proves that the manufacturer hasn’t compromised quality for functionality. The mechanical movement with automatic winding also has a 38-hour power reserve feature to keep the clock ticking longer.\r\n$990 at Amazon.com\r\nLuminox Atacama Field Automatic Watch\r\n\r\nLuminox watches are 100% Swiss-made and use a Swiss-made automatic movement. These bad boys are basically built to be abused. What really shines about these bad boys — literally — is the included lume that glows unaided for up to 25 years. With a day/date function and water-resistance up to 660 feet, this handsome timepiece can prove useful every one of those 25 years.\r\n$675 at Amazon.com\r\nCitizen Promaster Aqualand Dive Watch\r\n\r\nThis is nautical-inspired design at it’s finest. With Maximum depth memory, rapid ascent alarm, and an auto-start dive mode, this timepiece is one of the best in its class for the price. Its stainless steel case comes in at 46mm, with a blue and red bezel to match, making it the most hefty on our list, which wins points when you’re at the max 660 feet this watch will go and need to see the face — but it’s OK if you just want to keep it on land and admire its beauty.\r\n$499.99 at Amazon.com\r\nOrient M-FORCE AC0N\r\n\r\n\r\nCrisp. Clean. Classic. Those are just a few of the words easily used to describe this stainless steel case beaut. The orange dial color and black-and-white hands add contrast and vibrancy to the otherwise conservative case design, while the 40-hour power reserve, Caliber F6727 automatic movement and 200 meter water resistance showcase this watch's incredible build quality.\r\n$720 at OrientWatch.com\r\nMido Ocean Star Dive Watch\r\n\r\nMido effectively merges a timeless style profile with a bold orange rubber strap, or stainless steel strap shown here, and stylish black and orange bezel to create a dive watch that plays well in both worlds. Using its caliber 80 — a next-generation automatic watch movement — it offers up to 80 hours of power reserve which ends up being about twice as much as a regular caliber. Using titanium to house the automatic movement and keep all mechanics free of water up to 660 feet, we figured it was worth the extra penny.\r\n$796.40 at Amazon.com\r\nFrederique Constant Classics Chrono Quartz Dress Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nIf understated elegance is your aim, look no further than the Classics Chronro from Frederique Constant. Its black, crocodile-embossed leather band and silver dial exude class, and can safely take you from the office to a formal party. As an added bonus, it's even water-resistant to over 300 feet, so even the after-party swim won't be off limits to you.\r\n$696.50 at Amazon.com\r\nShinola Runwell Chrono Dress Watch\r\n\r\nShinola watches, assembled in Detroit, has sparked a renaissance in the Motor City and for American watch brands in general. This particular style is destined to become a classic design that will no doubt age well with it’s PVD gold case and durable leather band. With a clean ivory-colored face and luminous hands, wearing this watch makes a statement that you value good design, but don’t need an overly expensive timepiece to speak for you. It also says you have a certain pride in American-made goods.\r\n$850 at Shinola.com\r\nTissot Heritage Visodate 316L Swiss Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nThis handsome, traditional timepiece was first introduced in the 1950s to commemorate the centennial anniversary of Tissot, but this particular Visodate adds some edge with the blacked out dial and black leather strap with butterfly clasp and push-button enclosures. We love the day/date box as well as the minimalist look of the hour hands and markers.\r\n$695 at Amazon.com\r\nMovado Heritage Calendoplan Chronograph\r\n\r\n\r\nNo distinguished gentleman should be without a Movado watch. What other way to showcase your sub-luxury wealth and style than with this timeless chronograph model from Movado, which draws inspiration from the brand’s fashion-forward ‘50s collection? The Calendoplan is masterfully designed, from the luminous hands and markers to the rivets on the leather strap that are reminiscent of the iconic “Museum Watch” style gold dot. \r\n$950 at Amazon.com\r\nHager Commando Milsub Mechanical Watch\r\n\r\nThis large, 41mm offering from Hager boasts sturdy construction — including a scratch-resistant sapphire crystal face, red enamel bezel, and water resistance up to 1,000 feet — and elegant good looks. The burgundy bezel adds a subtle splash of color and helps to set off the black dial and luminous silver watch hands.\r\n$965 at HagerWatches.com \r\nSeiko Presage Mechanical Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you are looking for a clean looking watch, it does get much cleaner than Seiko. Seiko has long been known for its attention to detail and dedication to quality at an affordable price. This stylish time teller uses the Seiko 4R36 caliber self-winding movement which can also easily be hand wound and hacked.\r\n$365.19 at Amazon.com\r\n Khaki Aviation Pilot Watch\r\n\r\nWhile being huge fans of the Jazzmaster series, we’ve also discovered another inexpensive Hamilton model that’s worthy of occupying space in your watch case. The Khaki Pilot chronograph combines some of the same vintage design elements and Swiss ingenuity as its higher-priced cousin. Seriously, the build quality of this crisp pilot watch is certainly reflective of its MSRP of under $1,000.\r\n$945 at HamiltonWatch.com\r\nLaco Aachen Pilot Watch\r\n\r\nUsing an original design from WWII, this German designed timepiece garners a lot of respect. The same can’t necessarily be said for those fighting for the Germans in WWII, but that’s a discussion for another time. The stainless steel case, jet-black dial and SuperLuminova illumination make this stylish timepiece work with whatever era you want to throw back to. The Citizen Miyota 821A automatic self-winding movement keep it working during every era in the future.\r\n$410 at Amazon.com\r\nAVI-8 Hawker Hurricane Pilot Watch\r\n\r\nThis classic aviation inspired chronograph features detailed dials, colors, and graphics that celebrate the spirit and adventure of WWII. Inspired by the Hurricane aircraft produced for the Royal Air Force by Hawker Aircraft Ltd, this stylish timepiece blows the others out of the water, much like the Hurricane did during WWII. Many consider the Hurricane the unsung hero of the Battle of Britain, since it delivered more enemy kills in this crucial victory than any other aircraft — combined. How’s that for a conversation-starting watch?\r\n$235 at Amazon.com\r\nVictorinox I.N.O.X. Carbon Sports Watch\r\n\r\nThis I.N.O.X. limited edition heads for even more elevated performance levels than the standard I.N.O.X., which is saying a lot. The case is crafted from the same carbon composite that protects space shuttles from the highest reentry temperatures. Combine this the luminous hand with the firefighter \"chevron\" that's featured on the red and yellow stripes on the second hand and you have a watch worthy of heroism, strength and protection.\r\nFrom $900 at SwissArmy.com\r\nWhether you are spending well below $1,000 or coming right up on full four-digit territory, there are many brands and watches that provide both quality craftsmanship as well as undeniable style without breaking the bank.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Watches Under $10,000\r\n\tBest Watches Under $5,000\r\n\tBest Watches Under $500", "keywords": "Best, Watches, Under, 1,000", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fashion/trends/watches-under-1-000/askmen-lead-image-template-1718630972.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fashion/trends/watches-under-1-000.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-17 22:10:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44957", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Shaving Gels for Men", "title_slug": "best-shaving-gels-for-men", "title_hash": "2e51c6342eda97e3d5651143671376a4", "summary": "With additions by Barret Wertz.\r\nToday’s man wants nothing more than the smooth and soft feel of a shave without undertaking any pain. Much of that is dependent on the shaving agent they use as part of their morning routine. Many prefer a good shaving cream. Others keep things traditional with a shaving soap. Then comes the skincare-conscious crowd that plays it smart by using a shaving gel to get the job done.\r\nRELATED: Best Razors for Men\r\nYou’re only doing your skin a disservice by not applying the right skincare treatments, especially when practicing hair removal. Shaving creams are known to dry out skin faster. Same applies for soaps. So there’s even more reason for guys to lean towards a shaving gel or facial oil. Besides moisturizing and sanitizing skin, they facilitate the shaving experience in numerous ways. Let us break down the facts.\r\n\r\nShaving Creams vs. Shaving Gels\r\n\r\nWhich is the best for achieving the ultimate shave? Both can deliver the most comfortable shave possible", "content": "With additions by Barret Wertz.\r\nToday’s man wants nothing more than the smooth and soft feel of a shave without undertaking any pain. Much of that is dependent on the shaving agent they use as part of their morning routine. Many prefer a good shaving cream. Others keep things traditional with a shaving soap. Then comes the skincare-conscious crowd that plays it smart by using a shaving gel to get the job done.\r\nRELATED: Best Razors for Men\r\nYou’re only doing your skin a disservice by not applying the right skincare treatments, especially when practicing hair removal. Shaving creams are known to dry out skin faster. Same applies for soaps. So there’s even more reason for guys to lean towards a shaving gel or facial oil. Besides moisturizing and sanitizing skin, they facilitate the shaving experience in numerous ways. Let us break down the facts.\r\n\r\nShaving Creams vs. Shaving Gels\r\n\r\nWhich is the best for achieving the ultimate shave? Both can deliver the most comfortable shave possible. Experts might be quick to sell you on personal preference, but in the grander scheme of things, shaving gels are proven to be the more potent grooming solution. Some of the best reasons are:\r\n\r\n\tBetter for thick hair: Certain formulas do a sharper job of lifting whiskers off the face than creams.\r\n\tFaster removal: It softens skin and makes it easier to raise and remove hair.\r\n\tGlide action: Blades are much smoother to run across your face.\r\n\tLess application: Whereas creams require a heavy amount of volume, gels are more effective when applied in smaller amounts. \r\n\tShaving transparency: It’s easier to see where the blades from your razor are passing through.\r\n\tSkin protection: A layer is created between the blade and your skin, shielding it from cuts, nicks, and most importantly, razor burns.\r\n\r\nThe benefits are nothing short of amazing if you ask us. But as with all high-quality shaving products, a shaving gel is only as good as its ingredients. Knowing what’s good and bad for your mug will only guide, better yet glide you on the right path to a flawless shave.\r\n\r\nIngredients to Avoid\r\n\r\nLabels are deceptive. A company can sell you on the perks of its products, yet fail to inform you on the potential harms they can cause. Might want to self-educate yourself on the proper ingredients to protect your health. How about we start by touching on the absolute nots.\r\n\r\n\tBHT (butylated hydroxytoluene): A chemical linked to hormone disruption, plus eye, lung, and skin irritation.\r\n\tFragrance: One of the more common allergens that can expose you to over 200 unknown chemicals. \r\n\tGlycols: Chemicals that retain and absorb moisture, though can potentially result in dermatitis and rashes.\r\n\tIsopentane: A solvent that can lead to dry skin, dizziness, and nose irritation.\r\n\tPalmitic acid: This emulsifier is reported to create allergic reactions when in contact with skin.\r\n\tPlytetrafluoroethylne: The same chemical used to create Teflon that could cause health problems such as breast cancer and heart disease.\r\n\tSulfates: Skin-destructive elements normally associated with dermatitis, irritations, and impaired hair growth.\r\n\tTriethanolamine: Often found in foam substances, the additive causes hormone disruption.\r\n\r\n\r\nIngredients to Look For\r\n\r\nAvoid these skincare abusers at all costs, if possible. And make sure to keep your eyes peeled when looking over the ingredients list. Now let’s focus on the good stuff.\r\n\r\n\tAllantoin: This chemical compound relieves irritation and heals damaged skin.\r\n\tAloe Vera: A popular plant designed to moisturize and soothe skin.\r\n\tEssential oils: Popular ones such as eucalyptus, lavender, peppermint, tea tree, jojoba, and jasmine oil may balance hormones and reduce wrinkles.\r\n\tGlycerin: Known as a humectant, it seals in moisture to combat dryness.\r\n\tOatmeal: Hulled oat grains that stave off eczema, psoriasis, and rashes.\r\n\tShea butter: A triglyceride acting as a moisturizer to nourish skin.\r\n\tVitamin A/C/E: Antioxidants protecting skin from environmental hazards.\r\n\r\nOther botanical and herbal extracts like chamomile, cucumber peel, green tea, and olive leaf can work wonders on the body’s outer layer as well. To simplify the selection process, we compiled a collection of elite options based on customer feedback, expert reviews, and hands-on tests. Upgrade your shaving routine with these smooth operators.\r\nKing C. Gillette Transparent Shave Gel\r\n\r\n\r\nThe all new shave gel from King C. Gillette — the new range from the shaving juggernaut named for its founder, King Camp Gillette — is formulated with plant-based ingredients including argan oil, avocado oil, coconut water, aloe vera, white tea extract, cocoa butter, and more. \r\nThe clear gel, designed to be perfect for edging, provides a protective anti-friction layer that allows your favorite razor blade to cut close while helping to minimize the risk of skin irritation. All this, and the entire new King C. Gillette collection features a new signature scent of cardamom and ginger, with hints of lavender, bourbon, and sandalwood.\r\n$6.90 at Amazon.com \r\nRecipe for Men Clear Shaving Gel\r\n\r\nA foam-less texture combined with maximum comfort, Recipe for Men creates an amazing shave gel designed for cooling and lifting hair in seamless style. Its translucent appearance makes for a manscaping must, giving guys a clearer path to tackle their lower extremities. Then comes its sleekness that delivers flawless razor action to help reach difficult spots with accuracy.\r\nThe inclusion of sebustop, an astringent popular for reducing pore size, controls acne outbursts to reduce skin oiliness, which in turn prevents bacterial attacks and excess sebum. Lastly, comes Aloe Vera and lemon extract to satisfy pores with a moisturizing and refreshing tingle that remains existent after clean ups for one of the cleanest, smoothest, and most hydrated moneymaker possible.\r\n$26 at RecipeForMen.com\r\nClarins Smooth Shave Foaming Gel\r\n\r\n\r\nWe love the easy application and visible results of the Clarins Smooth Shave Foaming Gel. A small dollop covers a wide swath of your face, prepping your skin for the closest possible shave, while bison grass and gymnema extracts energize and invigorate your skin. Finally, a finish of organic blackcurrant extract moistens and softens your skin for a more comfortable, less irritated post-shave feel.\r\n$25 at Amazon.com\r\nShea Moisture Hi-Def Foamless Shave Gel\r\n\r\nThis is the best bang for any beard busters buck thanks to the efficacious ingredients packed in the affordable cruelty-free, foamless shave gel from Certified B Corporation Shea Moisture. Protective tea tree oil and conditioning shea butter are sustainably sourced and join forces to help keep pores clean and moisturized, keeping the chances of nicks, ingrowns, and irritation to a minimum. The subtle fragrance won’t get in the way of your day and since a little goes a long way, you don’t need to over do it to get great results.\r\n$27.95 at Amazon.com\r\nAveeno Therapeutic Shave Gel\r\n\r\n\r\nThis top seller remains a favorite for all the right reasons. The seven ounce canister comes loaded with natural colloidal oatmeal, an incredibly underrated skincare ingredient made to protect skin from razor bumps. It creates a lubricated barrier giving way to a gentler shaving canvas, increasing blade glide across the skin to avoid unwanted nicks. Applying in down under can also provide longer exfoliation time for manscaping needs. Its special blend of moisturizing lubricants works to relieve dryness and flaking, therefore keeping skin refreshed throughout the day.\r\n$5.90 at Amazon.com\r\nHarry’s Foaming Shaving Gel\r\n\r\n\r\nOur favorite grooming subscription box service doesn’t just offer a grade-A razor at a great. Harry’s shaving gel is just as impressive, highlighted by an all-natural ingredient list that shows the company’s commitment to superior skincare. When rubbed, it transforms from a gel to a velvety foam that bears a slick feel to it. The licorice root extract relaxes the face, letting the mixture of aloe and cucumber act as a cooling agent for your skin. Attractive, practical, and super-hygienic, it’s a fitting selection for all males cherishing the value of a remarkable shave on the cheap.\r\n$6 at Harrys.com\r\nElemis Ice Cool Foaming Shave Gel\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nThis high-performance gel is praised for creating an extremely comforting lather that molds perfectly on the face to lock in hydration, plus cushion it from any blade slip ups. Spreading it across leaves a cooling sensation to help eliminate nasty razor (or aftershave) burn for an irritation-free feel. No more than a nickel-sized amount is required to soften hair, but any guy sporting a grizzlier look can take on a bit extra to ensure no strand goes un-moistened. Packed with a rich mixture of oak bark, witch hazel, and aloe vera, it features all the right ingredients to manage every face type.\r\n$40 at Amazon.com \r\nDollar Shave Club Shave Butter\r\n\r\n\r\nNo one knows exactly what a shave butter is. What we do know is this Dollar Shave Club exclusive serves as a gel-oil composite that easily rinses off blades and eliminates clogging –creating a buttery smooth effect to shave through the coarsest fuzz. Macadamia nut and grape seed oil are pleasures to sniff and deliver a sigh of relief on the skin. Ingrown hairs and razor burns are tamed with anti-irritants. In addition, the Shave Butter works well with the company’s other high-quality grooming products including the Post Shave Cream and Repair Serum, two stellar performers that are guaranteed to save the face from common skincare issues.\r\n$8 at DollarShaveClub.com\r\nThere’s your crash course in proper skincare etiquette. Now you’re primed to select the best shaving gel for your needs.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Shaving Creams\r\n\tBest Straight Razors for Men\r\n\tBest Shower Gels For Men", "keywords": "Best, Shaving, Gels, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "141", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-shaving-gels-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1718643607.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-shaving-gels-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-17 22:10:59", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44788", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Conservatives Use Drag Bans to Peddle Gender Conformity", "title_slug": "how-conservatives-use-drag-bans-to-peddle-gender-conformity", "title_hash": "ebb5ee92253b0ec62db6d5fef1d238cd", "summary": "These drag bans are part of a broad push to force a very specific type of conservative white Christian morality on the nation.\nThe post How Conservatives Use Drag Bans to Peddle Gender Conformity appeared first on Rewire News Group.", "content": "

Everything old is new again, at least when it comes to laws restricting how LGBTQ+ people present themselves and move in the world. As drag bans and bathroom bills have proliferated across the country, it’s telling how similar they are to the sort of presentation bans—laws that banned so-called cross-dressing, for example—that LGBTQ+ people have had to contend with for decades.

It’s a rerun of the tired old saw that it’s OK to be queer as long as you don’t look queer.

Presentation bans restricted how people could dress based on traditional gender roles. They’re nothing new—these “cross-dressing” laws date back to the mid-1800s. An early example was an 1848 Columbus, Ohio law that barred anyone from appearing in public in “a dress not belonging to his or her sex.” These laws served to criminalize nonconforming gender presentation—and by the 1960s, these laws were everywhere in the country.

Legal historian Kate Redburn noted last year that these laws were consistent with laws criminalizing prostitution, so-called sexual deviance, and public indecency “as part of a broader attempt to impose upper-class white Christian morality on the new urban masses.” These laws were directly challenged in court from the 1960s to the 1980s, but perhaps the biggest reason they largely disappeared was that once-nonconformist sartorial choices, such as women wearing pants, became commonplace.

In striking down a “cross-dressing” law in 1975, for example, an Ohio court wrote that “at the present time, clothing is sold for both sexes which is so similar in appearance that ‘a person of ordinary intelligence’ might not be able to identify it as male or female dress.” However, the United States never really fully excised the conservative impulse to enforce traditional gender roles, which is part of the reason we now find ourselves facing new instruments of enforcement and control. And just as before, these new anti-trans laws are part of a broad push to force a very specific type of conservative white Christian morality on the nation as a whole.

It’s tough to remember that just eight short years ago, North Carolina’s passage of a bathroom bill targeting transgender individuals resulted in an immediate—and expensive—backlash. The NBA moved the All-Star game out of the state, while the NCAA said it would relocate multiple tournaments. PayPal canceled a planned operations center in Charlotte. Bruce Springsteen pulled out of a concert in Greensboro. The law didn’t last a year before much of it was rolled back. Now, though, 12 states have laws requiring people to use bathrooms that match the sex they were assigned at birth.

Drag bans have faced more headwinds, suffering a series of setbacks in state legislatures and courts. Defeats aren’t slowing conservatives down, however. They just keep hammering state legislatures with the proposed laws. In 2024 alone, 25 drag-related bills have been considered in 12 states as of publication, according to the ACLU.

Now, restrictions and proposed restrictions are so prevalent that the large-scale boycott North Carolina faced is impossible to imagine. Last year, California was forced to repeal its travel ban. Originally passed in the wake of North Carolina’s 2016 law, the travel ban prohibited the use of state money to travel to states with anti-LGBTQ+ laws. However, as Republicans managed to pass a broad range of those anti-LGBTQ+ laws in 26 states, California’s ban on state-funded travel to more than half the country became untenable.

It isn’t just drag bans and bathroom bans, either.

Last year, the Texas Department of Agriculture issued a dress code that requires employees “to comply with this dress code in a manner consistent with their biological gender.” The code doesn’t define what that means, because doing so would make it a far less useful tool for enforcing gender conformity. The code also buckles under the weight of modernity, acknowledging as it must that women are allowed to wear pants.

These laws and codes inevitably reach beyond criminalizing the movement of trans individuals. People who are gender nonconforming, such as butch women or femme men, are often challenged when they try to use the bathroom. This is true even though, under the conservative demand that people use bathrooms that conform to their sex assigned at birth, these folks are, in fact, in the correct bathroom.

Some bathroom bills cover all K-12 schools, colleges, and government-owned buildings or spaces. Some cover just K-12 schools, while others cover some government buildings but not others, according to the Movement Advancement Project. Proposed drag bans are similarly haphazard: North Dakota’s proposed ban characterized all drag shows as “adult-oriented,” making them equivalent to strip clubs, while West Virginia lawmakers floated a ban that appeared to criminalize transgender people being around minors, period. The net effect is that it is impossible to know for sure what is permitted and what is prohibited.

This is a feature, not a bug. Just as the earlier “cross-dressing” laws were vague enough to make any non-conformity treacherous, modern-day analogs do the same. Anyone who falls outside the mainstream of traditional gender presentations, regardless of whether they happen to also be queer, now faces heightened scrutiny thanks to a patchwork of laws across the country.

All of these laws and proposals have one goal: making LGBTQ+ people—or anyone else not wedded to traditional gender roles—feel uncomfortable and unsafe. If people feel unsafe in this fashion, they will retreat from public life or radically change their self-presentation to conform better. Conservatives are likely thrilled with either result, as in both cases, they will have robbed queer people of their ability to fully and authentically participate in society. And that’s exactly the point.

The post How Conservatives Use Drag Bans to Peddle Gender Conformity appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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In today's article, we will talk about everything you need to know about

LoveAwake dating site.

Image gotten from pixabay.com

If you would like to know more about this website, pls stay glued.

If you have stumbled on this site, whether on Google or YouTube. Our review will give you full insight into the site.

Before we proceed, you may want to ask a few questions about the site, such as

Does it have an app on IOS and Android
Are they Fake profiles
Is it free?
Are they scammers on the sit

You get to know all of these in this article

What is LoveAwake dating site?

Who is the owner of the LoveAwake dating site?

Is love-wake free?

Love wake offers a free registration, and every user can gain access to the communication features. Just like other platforms. It also has a premium plan but it is not specified on the Internet.

Does Lovewake have fake profiles?

Lovewake never stops with the registration process, when you have opened the site On your device. It takes you straight into registration for your profile.

Pros and cons

Pros

Every registered account has the potential to get matchups
It has 3 different ways to contact people
The Membership plan is quite cheap, but not a must

Cons

The adverts on the app could be disturbing

How do I sign In on Love Wake

visit the website at lovewake.com
Tap on the signup button, you will find it by the right corner of the website
Put in a valid email address and get a username that is easy to remember
Put a password
And click on the sign-in button
Lastly, you check your email for confirmation

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When Jenna Turpin started graduate school at Texas A&M University in 2022, they went straight to the library to check out Maia Kobabe’s Gender Queer: A Memoir. The book had come out in 2019, but it made national headlines throughout 2021 and 2022 after 56 school districts across the country—including Keller Independent School District in Texas—banned it from classrooms and libraries, making it one of the nation’s “most challenged and most frequently banned books,” according to PEN America.

In Texas, Gender Queer’s fate was not unique: The American Library Association reported that Texas bans three times more books than any other state, and almost half those are by LGBTQ+ authors. The state targeted 2,571 titles in 2022, followed by a whopping 4,240 titles in 2023—amounting to a 65 percent increase year over year. Practically speaking, representation of many queer kids’ existence is being continually erased from public view in conservatives’ larger effort to restrict free speech and LGBTQ+ rights.

Turpin isn’t a professional librarian, but that didn’t stop them from dreaming up a do-it-yourself solution to the ongoing problem of censorship in Texas schools with the help of their fellow grad classmates and Carabiner Collections co-founders Jordan Anderson and Soleil Gignac.

‘This is our form of queer rural resistance’

Last year, the trio took a roadtrip to Turpin’s home state of California and visited the Lavender Library, a volunteer-run community library and archive in Sacramento that is open daily and hosts everything from open mic nights, craft markets, and book clubs and more, according to the website. They were instantly inspired to create a similar community in Texas.

“I walked around [that space] and was like, ‘This is allowed?’” said Anderson, who was born and raised in Texas. “It was very shocking. And we decided, why can’t we do that here?”

A few months later, Carabiner Collections—a resource that Turpin calls “our form of queer rural resistance”—was born.

Here’s how it works: Carabiner Collections currently operates from three book “lockers” in Texas’ Brazos Valley, plus a booth in downtown Bryan’s Main Street, which pops up during the town’s First Fridays. To borrow a book, you can request it on the Carabiner Collection website, select your pickup location, and visit the locker. Books can be returned to lockers, too.

It’s the kind of thing queer Southerners are used to—the homegrown magic of making do.

“The thought kind of popped into our head in June 2023,” Anderson said. “We got our first books around November, and then we got our nonprofit status in January. So between January and now, we’ve gotten almost 450 books.”

It’s a growing collection that contains everything from fiction and memoir to self-help guides and children’s picture books. Taken together, it’s a vital resource for a community that has been increasingly denied the right to tell its own stories of queer life in the U.S. South and elsewhere. Long term, the trio dreams of running a bookmobile, so that their collection can be more easily shared and transported.

A wave of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation

Texas’ book bans are largely the consequence of HB 900, or the Restricting Explicit and Adult-Designated Educational Resource (READER) Act. Gov. Greg Abbott signed the bill into law in June 2023 and it took effect in September, but attempts to implement it have been mired in confusion.

Last July, a group of Texas booksellers filed a lawsuit challenging the ban, claiming that it violated their freedom of speech. The challenge was successful: In April, the U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals blocked the portion of the bill that forced private book vendors to assign ratings to all books and reading materials based on depictions or references to sex, and to subsequently remove anything with the rating of “sexually explicit.” Other portions of the bill still stand.

The READER Act is not the only legislation that Texas’ marginalized groups are contending with. SB 17, which was also signed into law in June 2023 and took effect on January 1, bans public universities from engaging in diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives and activities putting serious limitations on schools like Texas A&M. The school’s Pride Center, for example, was renamed the Student Life Center and subsequently de-rainbowed. (A&M’s Queer Empowerment Council is working to fill in the gaps, like taking over hosting duties of the queer-centric Lavender Graduation and the Coming Out Monologues.) Carabiner Collections isn’t affiliated with A&M, but its nonprofit status prevents it from “engaging in any political activity,” according to the IRS.

Turpin and Anderson were careful to point out this limitation during our interview, but it remains a painful irony that in the midst of ongoing politicization of the queer existence, Carabiner Collections—a decidedly queer library—is barred from participating in “politics.” You could say they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, but it hasn’t stopped them from serving their community.

Other similar book-centered programs have popped up across the country, and yet censorship remains a powerful force in erasing positive representations of queer selfhood.

“Censorship takes a huge toll on mental health,” Turpin said. “You can go out and find these things on the internet, but if you aren’t seeing them in your community, in physical books, and you’re seeing them taken off the shelves, that sends the message that you aren’t normal and that who you are isn’t right.”

In the shadow of ‘Closet Station’

Even though more queer people live in the South than in any other region, political and cultural hurdles remain in the path to LGBTQ+ equality.

College Station is a case in point: Branded “Closet Station” in the late aughts, the play on words made light of what some perceived as an unsafe environment for queer students.

“When I first moved here, in 2007, [Texas A&M] was one of the top five ‘most hateful toward LGBTQ+ people’ schools in the U.S.,” Pamela Edens, Pride 100’s vice president of communications, said. (In 2013, the closest year I could find to Edens’ 2007 marker, the Princeton Review ranked Texas A&M No. 11 on its “LGBT-unfriendly” list.)

College Station has become friendlier toward the LGBTQ+ community since then, but legislative attacks on visibility and bodily autonomy persist. On the flip side, groups like Pride 100—which gathers queer community members and allies in the Bryan/College Station area three times a year to raise money for LGBTQ+ nonprofits—support the work of organizations like Carabiner Collections.

“My partner has two young children, and I am helping to raise them,” said Pride 100 President Adrian Capetillo. “I wanted to make sure that they had a community—a community where they felt safe and they saw other people and other families like ours.”

Though Carabiner Collections has yet to win Pride 100’s coveted $10,000 prize (voted on and awarded tri-annually but its members, each of whom donate $100), they have received a $2,000 grant from the Fund for Trans Generations, a philanthropic organization that supports trans-led organizing, and also get a monthly kick-back via donations from the local flag company Flags for Good. A GoFundMe campaign rounds out this scrappy financing strategy.

It’s the kind of thing queer Southerners are used to—the homegrown magic of making do. It’s also what gives Turpin, Anderson, and Gignac reason to be optimistic about Carabiner Collections’ future, despite Texas’ ongoing attempts to ban books. Ultimately, queer people have always been an integral part of the South, and this group is committed to making sure they have a future here.

“I think just the fact that we exist is a sign of hope,” Turpin said. “I know the background of it is bleak, and maybe the reason we started it could be seen as a little sad, but I feel better even just living here, doing this. It’s like this physical demonstration that gay people are everywhere, even in the places you don’t expect us to be.”

Anderson nodded in agreement. “I’m a Southerner through and through,” she said. “I would never leave the South. I love it here. This is my home.”

The post This Texas Community Library Provides ‘Queer Rural Resistance’ to Book Bans appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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By Laura Elder, Mary-Kate Lizotte, and Steven Greene

Most Americans don’t know two key facts about pregnancy, including how they are dated and how long a trimester is—and this could matter, as a growing number of states place restrictions on abortion.

Florida enacted a new law on May 1 that bans abortions after six weeks of pregnancy, with a few exceptions—including documented rape, incest, and to save the life of the pregnant person.

Florida joins the majority of Southern states that now have complete bans or highly restrictive abortion laws, enacted since the Supreme Court overturned the federal right to get an abortion in June 2022. Many of the restrictive laws ban abortion after a set number of weeks.

Anti-abortion rights groups, such as Susan B. Anthony Pro-Life America, have called the six-week abortion ban the gold standard in abortion policy. Florida Republicans supporting the bill have labeled it a reasonable compromise between a full abortion ban and few abortion restrictions.

Some OB-GYNs have explained that many people do not even know they are pregnant at six weeks. Research shows that people on average find out they are pregnant at five and a half weeks. About 23 percent do not know until seven weeks of pregnancy or later.

So, do Americans, including those enacting six-week bans, actually understand how the timing or dating of pregnancy works?

We are scholars of political science, gender and public opinion, and are writing a book about public opinion on abortion after the Supreme Court’s reversal of the federal right to get an abortion in June 2022.

How does pregnancy work?

To gain insights into this issue, we developed a few pregnancy questions and included them in a research survey in late September 2023. The survey had 1,356 respondents, who were broadly representative of the U.S. population. The respondents’ median age was 46. Approximately 49 percent of these people were men, while 70 percent were white and 29 percent were college graduates. Meanwhile, 43 percent of them were Democrats, and 38 percent were Republicans.

The first question asked respondents how pregnancies are dated. The correct answer is that pregnancies are dated using the first day of the person’s last menstrual period, which is often two to three weeks before conception.

The second question asked about trimesters. Many Americans are familiar with the term trimester, and polling consistently shows that Americans find abortion most acceptable during the first trimester. We asked Americans if they knew approximately how many weeks a trimester was. The correct answer is 13.

Americans’ pregnancy knowledge

We found that only one-third of respondents knew how pregnancy is dated. A majority—approximately 60 percent—falsely thought that pregnancy is dated from conception or in the weeks since the person last had sex. Less than one-fourth of the respondents answered both pregnancy knowledge questions correctly.

In our survey, we also asked respondents whether they support a six-week abortion ban. Similar to other national surveys, we find that most Americans oppose strict abortion restrictions—only 35 percent support six-week bans.

Importantly, we find that those who support six-week abortion bans are significantly less likely than others to correctly understand the timing of pregnancy. The statistically significant relationship between having low levels of pregnancy timing knowledge and support for a six-week abortion ban holds in analyses controlling for potentially confounding variables.

Some anti-abortion lawmakers have demonstrated their ignorance about pregnancy before.

There is, for example, a long history of some anti-abortion politicians saying, incorrectly, that it is extremely rare for a person who is raped to get pregnant. Our survey shows that a large swath of those opposing abortion lack knowledge about the basics of pregnancy.

A gender disparity

Perhaps not surprisingly, women in this survey knew more about pregnancy than men. The question about how pregnancies are dated, for example, was answered correctly by 43 percent of women compared with only 23 percent of men. As mentioned above, a majority of Americans incorrectly believe pregnancy is dated from conception, but significantly more men than women think this is true.

This finding is particularly important when considering the gender breakdown of the Florida state lawmakers who approved the six-week ban. Although we do not have data on the pregnancy knowledge of those legislators, we do know that those who voted for the ban were overwhelmingly men.

Florida’s six-week ban will make it much harder for anyone to get abortions there—and it will also affect people in neighboring states who want or need an abortion. In 2023, Florida was home to the closest abortion clinic for 6.4 million women living in the South. In 2023, around 7,700 women from other Southern states, where abortion is now largely banned, traveled to Florida to get abortions.

Overall, our findings raise serious questions about whether Americans without medical training—much like those in our state legislatures—have the necessary knowledge needed to regulate abortion access.

$\"The$

The post Confusion Over How Pregnancy Dates Are Measured Is Widespread appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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I have a serious question for Chief Justice John Roberts: What in the hell is going on over at the Supreme Court, and when do you plan on doing something—anything—about it?

I originally planned to write about the ongoing ethics scandal related to the justices’ recent financial disclosures and the deteriorating effect it has on our democracy. Roberts needs to address this outright, ongoing, blatant corruption.

Then came the Alito tapes.

Thanks to Lauren Windsor’s undercover reporting, we have confirmation that Justice Samuel Alito is a Christian nationalist, his wife Martha-Ann has a serious thing for flags, and Roberts is just not up to do what this moment requires of him—which at this point would be literally anything at all to address the national threat to our democracy that is Samuel Alito.

Roberts’ failure to address the threat of Christian nationalism along with the conservative legal movement’s absurd financial corruption is such a reflection of the current state of conservative politics.

Do I think Roberts and Alito are aligned in a desire to turn this country into some kind of theocratic republic ruled by kings? No, I don’t. But Roberts’ failure to take any meaningful action against the deep rot of corruption that surrounds Alito, Clarence Thomas, and to a lesser-but-still-meaningful degree Brett Kavanaugh is now a tacit endorsement of it. Democrats have promised an ethics bill that Republicans will surely kill. And the one man who can meaningfully take action refuses to do so.

Just six months after the Court overturned the constitutional right to abortion in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, we published an editorial package on Christian nationalism, explaining how the decision not only planted the seeds to erode rights other than abortion, but democracy itself. In that majority opinion, Alito told us exactly who he is and where he wants to take this country—democracy be damned.

Windsor’s reporting confirms what Alito telegraphed in destroying Roe v. Wade. Meanwhile, we’re nearing two years since Dobbs, and we’re waiting now to see how far back Alito and his conservative co-conspirators plan to take both abortion access and our democracy.

And Roberts won’t do anything about it.

The post Chief Justice John Roberts Is Running a Clown Court appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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Conservatives want to ban abortion pills. And if they can’t do that, they want to make it as difficult as possible for people to get their hands on them—or, better yet, scare people out of trying in the first place.

Today’s Supreme Court decision in FDA v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine didn’t give the conservative legal movement everything it wanted on this front. However, it’s unlikely to be the end of the legal battle over mifepristone or medication abortion more broadly.

The case was a test balloon, filed by the conservative legal juggernaut Alliance Defending Freedom in the Northern District of Texas, where it was all but certain to be decided by Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk, the Trump appointee handpicked to churn out ultra-conservative activist rulings that are then appealed up to the also notoriously conservative U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals.

That’s precisely what happened, though Kacsmaryk’s ruling—which would have reversed the FDA’s approval of mifepristone entirely—was too extreme even for the Fifth Circuit, whose decision on appeal stopped short of a full reversal but would have reinstated onerous and unnecessary old restrictions on mifepristone. Among other things, the ruling would have made it impossible to prescribe mifepristone via telemedicine.

But this morning, the Supreme Court ruled—in a surprising unanimous decision—that the anti-abortion doctors who brought the case didn’t have legal standing. In other words, they didn’t prove that they are actually harmed by the FDA’s approval of mifepristone.

However, much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the legal battle over medication abortion is far from over. Even this specific case still has legs. That’s because Kacsmaryk granted Idaho, Kansas, and Missouri permission to intervene in the case. The Supreme Court’s ruling leaves open the possibility that the case ends up back in Kacsmaryk’s court, where these three states could revive it.

An easy path to a total national abortion ban

An undead case would be awfully fitting, because the real goal behind FDA v. AHM was to resurrect an undead law: the Comstock Act, an 1873 anti-obscenity law that remains on the books today.

Named for anti-vice crusader Anthony Comstock, the Comstock Act banned the mailing of “obscene” materials, including anything used “for the prevention of conception, or for causing unlawful abortion.” Anti-abortion leaders—especially lawyers like Texas SB 8 architect Jonathan Mitchell and Project 2025 abortion policy lead (and former Trump Department of Health and Human Services official) Roger Severino—are, frankly, obsessed with the Comstock Act.

That’s because, in the eyes of these conservative legal strategists, the Comstock Act provides an easy path to a total national ban on abortion and contraception. Think about it: What drug or device used for abortion or contraception hasn’t been shipped at some point? And just in case you thought these restrictions on mail pertain only to the United States Postal Service, think again: The Comstock Act covers items shipped or delivered in any way, which would include today’s UPS, FedEx, and even bike messengers.

All a future president would need to do is to direct their Department of Justice to enforce the Comstock Act and get a conservative Supreme Court to back them up in the event of any legal challenges, and there you have it: A total ban on abortion, contraception, and anything conservatives might deem “obscene”—no congressional action required.

As anti-abortion activists and conservative lawmakers have become more and more explicit about their Comstockian vision for the future, Democrats have come under pressure to repeal the Comstock Act. A smattering of Democrats have come out in favor of a Comstock repeal.

Every time, I email their offices asking, “Where’s the bill?”—and I’m always told it’s on the way.

But in April, a report from NOTUS revealed that Democrats are under pressure from reproductive rights groups, including Planned Parenthood, the Center for Reproductive Rights, and the American Civil Liberties Union, not to introduce a Comstock repeal. These groups argue that trying to repeal the Comstock Act gives credence to conservatives’ interpretation of the law, which they believe is incorrect.

Legal scholar Rachel Rebouché recently put it most succinctly, speaking at ComstockCon in May: “There is the concern that talking about Comstock validates the idea that it’s an abortion ban,” she said. “But the fact that it’s an incorrect interpretation isn’t going to stop any anti-abortion person from using it.” Reproductive rights organizations are denying this reality, to all our peril.

During oral arguments in the mifepristone case, Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito both asked questions about Comstock indicating that they do see it as an abortion ban. However, somewhat surprisingly, there is no mention of the Comstock Act in either the Court’s opinion, written by Justice Brett Kavanaugh, or in Thomas’ concurrence.

It may just be that this case—brought by a bunch of doctors (and dentists) claiming they were injured by the mere possibility they may one day have to care for a patient experiencing complications from medication abortion, which are exceedingly rare—wasn’t the right vehicle. A challenge from three anti-abortion states, on the other hand, might be just the ticket.

In fact, issuing decisions that read as moderate for now and waiting for a future president to open the door to a Comstock reanimation would be a strategic move for the Court, whose exalted image has taken such a hit over the last few years.

Misoprostol-only abortion: A safe but imperfect backstop

When it comes to the legal maneuvering around mifepristone, there will be other care options even in the worst-case scenario where a court takes unprecedented action to reverse the FDA’s approval of a safe and effective drug.

After all, though mifepristone is often referred to in the media as “the abortion pill,” it doesn’t work on its own. It has to be used in combination with another drug, misoprostol. And if any one drug is “the abortion pill,” it’s misoprostol, because misoprostol can be used alone.

If mifepristone is removed from the market, we have a backup.

However, in randomized controlled trials—generally considered the gold standard for scientific research—the misoprostol-only regimen has been found less effective than the combined regimen. Studies find on average that misoprostol alone works just under 80 percent of the time, compared to the combined regimen, which is 95 percent effective or more.

This raises a serious concern for people in states where abortion is criminalized: Though misoprostol is very safe, an incomplete abortion requires follow-up care. And people in the United States who have been criminalized for abortion or other pregnancy outcomes are most frequently turned into police by health-care workers. In the United States, exposure to the health system means potential exposure to criminalization.

But these studies of the misoprostol-only method vary widely in their protocols, especially when it comes to dosing. Randomized trials using the regimen we currently know to be most effective—for early pregnancy, four tablets of misoprostol (for a total dose of 800 micrograms) taken three times every three hours—find higher rates of efficacy, in some cases north of 90 percent.

An encouraging recent review from Ibis Reproductive Health, which compared clinical trial data to observational studies of self-managed abortion, concluded that efficacy rates of the misoprostol-only method are the same or in some cases better than those found in clinical trials.

This, overall, is good news. But on the negative side, research and personal experiences suggest that misoprostol-only abortions may have more intense side effects like fever, chills, and diarrhea when compared to the combined method. It’s thought that letting the pills dissolve in the vagina, rather than in the cheek or under the tongue, may lessen these side effects, but unfortunately, because pill fragments could be seen by a health-care provider in the vagina in the event a person does need to seek follow-up care, this isn’t advised in places where criminalization is a risk. Misoprostol-only abortions also typically take longer.

So, if mifepristone is removed from the market, we have a backup. Abortion providers are ready to start administering it right away if need be. But according to the Guttmacher Institute, 63 percent of all abortions in 2023 were medication abortions. That’s approximately 642,700 abortions—and that estimate doesn’t include people who self-manage abortions outside the medical system. There’s no escaping that we’re talking about forcing hundreds of thousands of people to undergo a longer and potentially more painful abortion process for absolutely no reason.

All coming back to the Comstock Act

And then there’s the Comstock Act, waiting in the wings, threatening to cut off that lifeline, too.

Enter ComstockCon, organized by journalist Melissa Gira Grant and technology lawyer Kendra Albert, and hosted by the Initiative for a Representative First Amendment at Harvard Law School. It was a one-day conference intended to take this possibility seriously, even if the broader reproductive rights movement doesn’t want to.

Even in Comstock’s heyday, prosecutions related to contraception and abortion were never as common as those related to pornography and other forms of “obscenity,” historian Lauren MacIvor Thomspon noted during her remarks at the conference. Yet feminist reformers rightly saw Comstock as one of the biggest obstacles to their efforts, thanks to its chilling effect. All it takes is a few high-profile prosecutions, or even a few alarming headlines, to scare people out of doing something you don’t want them to do.

Historian Andrea Friedman added that the federal Comstock Act wasn’t even the primary method of enforcement—it was copycat state-level versions of the law that saw the most use. Many of these laws remain on the books, too.

And perhaps most alarming of all, scholar and judge Jennifer Kinsley illuminated the fact that Comstock “obscenity” prosecutions related to pornography never really ended. The Comstock Act isn’t dead at all—it’s just that it hasn’t been being used to enforce bans on abortion and contraception.

In listening to all of this, I couldn’t help but think of my recent reporting trip to Brazil. We have Brazilian women—mostly poor and working-class women of color—to thank for the very existence of medication abortion. After misoprostol was approved as an ulcer drug in Brazil in 1986, women realized they could take advantage of the warning on the label not to take the drug during pregnancy. They started using it to induce miscarriages, which they could then go to the hospital to safely finish, with no evidence remaining of what they’d done.

But the government quickly took note of these increased hospitalizations and their origin, and began to place new restrictions on misoprostol. The most severe of these came in 1998, when misoprostol was added to the country’s list of controlled substances. (Sound familiar? Perhaps that’s because Louisiana lawmakers just classified misoprostol and mifepristone as controlled substances.) Ever since, the drug has been available only in hospital settings in Brazil, where it’s kept under lock and key. Even reproductive health clinics, like one I visited in São Paulo called Coletivo Feminista Sexualidade e Saúde, can’t obtain it.

Administrative regulations also limit the sharing of information about misoprostol online and on social media. In 2019 Senator Damares Alves, one of Brazil’s leading anti-abortion voices who served as Minister of Women under far-right president Jair Bolsonaro, urged prosecutors to bring criminal charges against the feminist magazine AzMina for publishing the World Health Organization guidelines for medication abortion.

AzMina refused to take the information down. After publishing the instructions, they received nearly 600 emails from women seeking abortion support, said Carolina Oms, the magazine’s executive director. But reporters were also harassed and doxxed. No criminal charges were ever filed.

In Brazilian health-care settings, misoprostol-only abortions are the sole option. Mifepristone has never been approved there—anyone who is able to take it is getting pills that came in from outside the country, a rarity. Selling pills illegally is a serious crime carrying penalties of ten to 15 years in prison, and the restrictive environment has allowed bizarre misinformation to flourish.

In São Paulo, I met with two members of an accompaniment network who help people find and use abortion pills. Counterfeit pills are common, they said, and even when the pills are real, people often receive odd instructions from pill sellers. Swallow some and let the others dissolve. Stay in bed for two days. Don’t eat anything. Run up and down the stairs.

Worst of all, some sellers instruct people to take pictures of their bleeding and upload them to a WhatsApp group, exposing them to potential criminalization risk.

I also spoke with pharmacist Leticia Oening, who recently finished her Ph.D. at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro. Her research focused on women who took misoprostol, who she interviewed in a Rio de Janeiro hospital. The most common problems she identified were misconceptions about dosing and the fact that people often aren’t sold enough pills for a complete abortion.

All of this reminded me of things I’ve heard in my reporting here in the United States. For example, misconceptions about how to use abortion pills, and what is and isn’t legal, abound online, according to Online Abortion Resource Squad’s Ariella Messing. But organizations like OARS that work diligently to correct this misinformation are desperately underfunded, even as they fix the foibles of larger and better-funded organizations on a daily basis.

And every step that conservatives take toward banning medication abortion—whether by introducing new state-level restrictions or going all-in on a Comstock resurrection—ratchets up the fear and confusion. Meanwhile, our largest and most powerful reproductive rights organizations lobby against legislation that might help.

We have an opportunity to reverse course and try to avoid some of the outcomes I saw in Brazil. Will the people with the money and the power take it?

The post Mifepristone Is Safe for Now—but Comstock Is Waiting in the Wings appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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The Supreme Court issued its decision in the first of two abortion cases we’ve been waiting for—and it was pretty OK!

Join Jess and Imani in this reaction episode breaking down the unanimous ruling on standing in FDA v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine that was written by—yup—Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Our verdict? The decision is great, but more litigation is coming.

[Read: 70 True secrets to happiness to have a happy life and enjoy everything you do]

And sign up for The Fallout, a weekly newsletter written by Jess that’s exclusively dedicated to covering every aspect of this unprecedented moment.

The post Mifepristone (Kind Of, Maybe) Wins at SCOTUS appeared first on Rewire News Group.

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An excerpt from the book 'STOP People Pleasing and Find Your Power' published by Simon & Schuster.

The post Setting Boundaries With Others appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Setting, Boundaries, With, Others", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "150", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/GettyImages-1415228967-scaled.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/setting-boundaries-with-others/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-16 00:29:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44264", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Fatherhood’s Unexpected Silver Lining ", "title_slug": "fatherhoods-unexpected-silver-lining", "title_hash": "b44c2828528bd797030f1972a48ec227", "summary": "How emotion coaching and tribal wisdom made this single dad thrive\nThe post Fatherhood’s Unexpected Silver Lining appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

How emotion coaching and tribal wisdom made this single dad thrive

The post Fatherhood’s Unexpected Silver Lining appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

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Caught, Single, Mistake", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/111111.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/woman-secretly-substitutes-twin-at-work-to-sneak-on-vacation-caught-by-a-single-mistake/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:40", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44043", "lang_id": "1", "title": "20-Year Age Gap Couple: Going Strong Two Decades Later", "title_slug": 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"username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44042", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Woman Unveils Shocking Earnings from ‘Loyalty Tests’ Exposing Cheating Boyfriends", "title_slug": "woman-unveils-shocking-earnings-from-loyalty-tests-exposing-cheating-boyfriends", "title_hash": "71670e6d0f34ab90c313a4ff57040b1c", "summary": "A TikToker who started exposing cheating partners for free now makes a lot of money after turning it…", "content": "A TikToker who started exposing cheating partners for free now makes a lot of money after turning it…", "keywords": "Woman, Unveils, Shocking, Earnings, from, ‘Loyalty, Tests’, Exposing, Cheating, Boyfriends", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": 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sparked a heavy debate. He took his wife’s…", "content": "A man’s actions on the way to his honeymoon have sparked a heavy debate. He took his wife’s…", "keywords": "Husband, Sparks, Debate, Taking, Wife’s, Business, Class, Upgrade, Leaving, Her, Economy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "107", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/deposit-1160x628-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/husband-sparks-debate-by-taking-wifes-business-class-upgrade-leaving-her-in-economy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44039", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Awards 2024: Bedroom Products", "title_slug": "dating-awards-2024-bedroom-products", "title_hash": "2a4badbd12d2f4be523d5e6528b815b3", "summary": "Turn Up the Heat on Your Sex Life With Our Picks for the Top Bedroom Products of 2024", "content": "Nobody wants to be bad at sex — but how to actually be good? \r\nContrary to the beliefs that it’s all about the size of your genitals or even how in shape you are, a good chunk of it is just listening to your partner(s) and doing what they want. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t take things up a notch with a few thoughtful purchases.\r\nSex that’s nothing but naked bodies can be great, but sex that incorporates a little technological innovation can absolutely be great too. \r\nStill, how to know which products to incorporate? There are so many out there, and the number increases every year. But frankly, some of them are not very good, and many of them are simply not a good fit for everyone.\r\nBut the ones that work can absolutely revolutionize the way you have sex and how much pleasure you experience from it. To help you distinguish the good from the bad, here are our picks for the 2024 AskMen Dating Awards, Bedroom Products edition:\r\n\r\nBest Bedroom Toys\r\n\r\nBest High-Tech Male Toy\r\nLovense Solace\r\n\r\nIf you’ve watched any amateur porn or cam performers in the past few years, you’re likely familiar with Lovense’s ultra-popular pink Bluetooth toy, the Lush line. But toys for people with vaginas aren’t their only strong suit, as the brand new Solace masturbator makes clear. It pairs a great-feeling sleeve with a powerful and versatile motor, app control and a no-muss, no-fuss way to clean it once you’re done. The one drawback might be that it’s not the quietest ever toy, but the ability to have it vibrate to any song you like means that you can easily drown out the buzzing with your favorite sex playlist.\r\nCheck out the Lovense Solace \r\nBest Low-Tech Male Toy\r\nSatisfyer Masturbator Eggs\r\n\r\nSorry to everyone else out there making their own versions of this, but Satisfyer’s Masturbator Eggs remain unbeaten when it comes to the basic sleeve concept. They use water, not lube, to achieve a slick and gooey sleeve texture, and come in a variety of designs to offer you different grips and grooves. The drawback is that they’re single-use only products, but from a sheer sensation and ease-of-use perspective, they are truly better than similar products from other brands.\r\nCheck out the Satisfyer Masturbator Eggs \r\nBest Couples Toy\r\nWe-Vibe Sync O\r\n\r\nIf you’re creative enough, basically any sex toy could count as a couples toy. But for the best of the best, you want something that’s specifically designed to work during partnered sex and pleasure both participants. Enter We-Vibe. Their Chorus won this category last year, and the Sync O has arrived to claim the top spot in 2024. It’s perfect for hetero couples — internally stimulating both the G-spot and the penis, while externally stimulating the clitoris. It’s also Bluetooth-capable, meaning you can control the intensity of the vibrations mid-coitus with a handy remote.\r\nCheck out the We-Vibe Sync O \r\nBest Clit Toy\r\nWomanizer Next\r\n\r\nWomanizer, the brand that invented the airflow-based clit toy category, is back on top with their latest release, the Next. Small, sleek, powerful and whisper-quiet, the Next is an incredible little gadget for delivering serious clitoral pleasure without wearing out its sensitive nerve endings. It’s great for solo fun for clit-havers, but it can also be a fun way to upgrade partnered sex — its small size means it can be effortlessly introduced to lots of positions, especially Doggy-Style-inspired ones that feature penetration from behind.\r\nCheck out the Womanizer Next \r\nBest Clit/G-Spot Combo Toy\r\nLELO Enigma Wave\r\n\r\nUnless you’re a trans guy, you may not be over the moon about a product that can pleasure the clit and the G-spot at the same time. Where does that leave room for you? Still, whether it’s to add some oomph to a blowjob, to amp up mutual masturbation sessions or to simply give a partner uninhibited access to lots and lots of orgasms, if you want a toy that’ll drive someone with a vagina absolutely wild with pleasure, the LELO Enigma Wave is your friend.\r\nCheck out the LELO Enigma Wave \r\nBest Vibrator\r\nFemme Funn Bougie Wand\r\n\r\nThe sex toy industry can sometimes feel like a bit of an old boys’ club that’s hard to break into (witness: the same brand winning the awards above and below this one). Every now and then, however, upstart companies give us a nice surprise with their offerings, and Femme Funn has one on their hands here with the Bougie Wand. A tasteful spin on the classic wand model that every brand seems to have a version of these days, it’s powerful and designed for fun temperature play in watery settings. Time to turn the heat up on bath time.\r\nCheck out the Femme Funn Bougie Wand \r\nBest Prostate Toy\r\nLELO Hugo 2\r\n\r\nIt can be easy to get something wrong when you’re updating a time-honored classic, as LELO was doing with the winner in this category two years running, the Hugo. Luckily for all parties involved, that’s not what happened with the Hugo 2: It’s smooth, it’s sleek, it’s sexy, and it’s capable of absolutely rocking your prostate thanks to powerful motors and an easy-to-use remote. Want someone else to do it for you? Look no further — it’s Bluetooth capable and app-controlled, too. Truly the cream of the P-spot crop.\r\nCheck out the LELO Hugo 2 \r\nBest Phallus Ring\r\nPromescent Penis Ring Vibrator\r\n\r\nCock rings have come a long way since the days they were first being used, if historians are to be believed, over a thousand years ago. Today, in addition to exerting pressure on the base of your erection to help it stay harder for longer, they can also do things like Promescent’s ring – which is to say, vibrate. Good for your pleasure, yes — also good for your partner’s pleasure. Though Promescent’s best known for their sexual health offerings, this sex toy entry is a strong one.\r\nCheck out the Promescent Penis Ring Vibrator \r\nBest Distance Toy\r\nLovense Lush 3\r\n\r\nSurprise, surprise — though it’s older than many of the other options on this list, the past year hasn’t seen anyone beat out Lovense’s Lush 3 with a superior product, so it takes the crown in this category a third year in a row. Its look is now somewhat iconic, but it’s popular for a reason: powerful, discreet, and digitally super-charged, with the ability to make it vibrate from anywhere on Earth using the Lovense app, for either pleasure or profit. If you have a single exhibitionist bone in your body, take it out for a spin in public some time.\r\nCheck out the Lovense Lush 3 \r\nBest Kinky Toy\r\nLovehoney All You Need and More Bondage Kit\r\n\r\nLooking to start exploring the wild and weird world of kink play? Lovehoney’s All You Need and the More Bondage Kit is a great place to start. Bundling together wrist and ankle restraints, a blindfold, a dildo, a bullet vibrator, a cock ring, a spanking paddle and silicone nipple suckers, it’s a one-stop shop for impact play, sensory deprivation play, bondage play, sensation play and domination play.\r\nCheck out the Lovehoney All You Need and More Bondage Kit \r\nBest Alternative Toy\r\nLELO Siri 3\r\n\r\nSometimes when you give awards to products, it’s important to create whole new categories just to reward a brand’s outside-the-box thinking. That’s the case with LELO’s music-focused Siri 3 toy. Sex and songs are hardly a new combination — Shakespeare, after all, called music the food of love — but has any sex toy brand so thoughtfully combined the two pleasures together before? It uses SoundSense technology to convert soundwaves into vibrations and pulses, and yes, it works like a charm. Time to fire up the sex playlist…\r\nCheck out the LELO Siri 3 \r\nBest Budget-Friendly Toy\r\nplusOne Rose Arouser\r\n\r\nRose toys have been taking the internet by storm in recent years, which is both good and bad. The good? Roses are beautiful, and sex toys that look like one are just plain nice. The bad? There’s not exactly a lot of clarity in terms of who’s making them, and knockoffs abound. One you won’t regret purchasing? plusOne’s version, which is a whole lot of bang for your buck at $27.99. While it’s not for people with penises, it does allow you to buy your special someone some flowers and some orgasms at the same time. Rare opportunity, not to be missed!\r\nCheck out the plusOne Rose Arouser \r\nBest Travel-Friendly Toy\r\nLELO Dot Travel\r\n\r\nWant to take pleasure on the go? Sure you do. Everyone knows that vacation sex can be some of the hottest sex there is — but sex toys aren’t always the most fun to transport. A compact sex toy that doesn’t exactly look like a sex toy — in case anyone’s inspecting your luggage — is a huge bonus. Thankfully, LELO has designed just that for clitoris-havers with the Dot Travel. Get ready to engage in some fun mutual masturbation or toy-assisted partnered sex in the hotel room…\r\nCheck out the Lelo Dot Travel \r\n\r\nBest Bedroom Products\r\n\r\nBest Water-Based Lube\r\nHead South Slip Serum\r\n\r\nUnfortunately, we still live in a world where lube shaming exists. In the future, when we don’t, everyone will be excited to share their favorite lube brands with each other. This year, we’re enamored with Head South’s Slip Serum. As a water-based lube, it’s not insanely long-lasting, so you may need to reapply, but it’s 100% compatible with both condoms and sex toys of any kind, it won’t leave stains, and it’s easy to wash out. It’s a wonderful, simple entry into a category with lots of great competition.\r\nCheck out Head South Slip Serum \r\nBest Silicone-Based Lube\r\nÜberlube Silicone Lubricant\r\n\r\nWant a lube that feels great and doesn’t dry up? Sure you do. Want a lube that feels great, doesn’t dry up, and outperforms all the other ones in its class? If so, you’re thinking of überlube, basically. Though, like all silicone-based lubes, it’s not to be mixed with silicone-based toys (that’s most toys these days), it is condom-safe and a great pick for people who want to add a little bit (or a lot) of extra slipperiness to their penetration.\r\nCheck out Überlube Silicone Lubricant \r\nBest Flavored Lube\r\nLa Nua Honey Vanilla Lube\r\n\r\nIf you and your partner are among the many duos who need a little lube to make things work in the sack, you might also be among the many who wonder: What happens when you want to switch from penetrative sex to a blow job? Specifically, what if you don’t want the penis being blown to taste like lube? Well, the answer is flavored lube. La Nua Honey Vanilla boasts both a pleasing and sensual flavor along with a pleasantly smooth texture that makes it our pick in this category.\r\nCheck out La Nua Honey Vanilla Lube \r\nBest Backdoor Lube\r\nPjur Back Door Relaxing Silicone Lubricant\r\n\r\nAnal sex requires a different caliber of lube than vaginal sex does — in large part because, well, the butt isn’t self-lubricating. You need a lube that can last and last and last. For the most part, that means avoiding water-based lubes. But regular silicone lubes aren’t always enough, and that’s where Pjur’s Back Door lube comes in: It contains muscle-relaxing jojoba oil, to help bottoms loosen up and take it, thereby reducing pain without any numbing agents that could prevent them from recognizing something’s gone wrong. A great concept that works like a charm.\r\nCheck out Pjur Back Door Relaxing Silicone Lubricant \r\n\r\nBest Sexual Problem-Solving Products\r\n\r\nBest PE Product\r\nBlowmotion Adjustable Stamina Trainer\r\n\r\nEver heard that the best way to stop cumming quickly is simply to have more sex? It’s not very helpful advice, since sex isn’t always available, but there’s also something to it. The Blowmotion Adjustable Stamina Trainer is here to fill the gap (if you will) for guys looking to train themselves to orgasm less quickly but who don’t have a steady partner they can practice with. With a strap that allows you to adjust the tightness, an open-ended design that won’t overstimulate the head of your penis and a highly textured feel, it’s a great (and relatively affordable) way to get some fun edging play in.\r\nCheck out the Blowmotion Adjustable Stamina Trainer \r\nBest PE Treatment\r\nPromescent Delay Spray\r\n\r\nReaching orgasm sooner than you expected is a real mixed bag. While it is nice to have all those nice climax feelings, there’s also the disappointment — and possibly the fear that you’ve disappointed the other person. Want a no-fuss quick fix to regular premature ejaculation frustration? Try Promescent’s Delay Spray. It’s engineered to decrease the sensitivity in your penis, allowing you to last longer, and it’ll absorb into your skin quickly, so your partner won’t feel the effects even if you’re not using a condom.\r\nCheck out Promescent Delay Spray \r\nBest ED Treatment\r\nRo Daily Rise Gummies\r\n\r\nErectile difficulties are no fun for anyone. They are, however, a problem that can be addressed, and the 21st century has seen incredible leaps forward in technological approaches to doing just that. Part of the issue has always been what the best way to ingest ED medication is — with competing schools of thought on daily versus situational doses. Ro’s new Daily Rise Gummies, obviously, believe the former — if it’s a part of your daily routine, then you’re always ready to go, anytime, any place, and (theoretically) you never need to kick yourself, should a situation arise out of nowhere. Plus, they’re gummies. Who doesn’t love a gummy?\r\nCheck out Ro Daily Rise Gummies \r\nBest Pain-Reduction Product\r\nThe Pelvic People Ohnut\r\n\r\nSex is supposed to be fun — but unfortunately, lots of people experience pain during penetration. If you’re one of the many guys with a partner whose vagina doesn’t always enjoy being entered, listen up — The Pelvic People are here for you. Their Ohnut is a revolutionary toy for helping straight couples achieve mutually pleasurable intercourse by limiting the depth of penetration. The stretchy, stackable rings retain body heat so the penetrating partner can still enjoy feeling like they’re getting full penetration, while the penetrated partner can relax knowing they don’t have to take the whole length of the shaft.\r\nCheck out The Pelvic People Ohnut \r\nBest Clit Arousal Product\r\nEpiphany Clit Arousal Serum\r\n\r\nMany hetero couples struggle with things like ‘desire discordance’ and the ‘orgasm gap.’ If the (or a) person in your relationship with a clitoris has trouble orgasming during sex, maybe what they’re lacking is an epiphany… or rather, a tube of Epiphany’s new Clit Arousal Serum. Just rub a few drops of this near-magical product on and the clit-haver will start experiencing a pleasant tingling sensation that stimulates the sensitive clitoral nerve endings, making sex way more exciting — and orgasm-filled — than before.\r\nCheck out the Epiphany Clit Arousal Serum \r\n\r\nBest Condoms\r\n\r\nBest Latex Condoms\r\nOne Condoms myOne Perfect Fit\r\n\r\nUnfortunately for condoms — a miracle product that can prevent all kinds of bad scenarios from occurring during sex — they’re not the most popular products in the world. We believe some of that issue comes down to fit: Not enough guys have tried condoms that fit them perfectly. Luckily, there’s a condom brand that’s trying to change that: One Condoms. They offer a wide variety of sizes and shapes that take into account the fact that every penis is slightly different, meaning you have a really good shot at finding your own perfect condom.\r\nCheck out One Condoms myOne Perfect Fit \r\nBest Non-Latex Condoms\r\nDurex Avanti Bare Real Feel\r\n\r\nApart from fit and sizing issues, there’s another thing that makes condoms unpleasant for some people, and that’s latex allergies. If you’re one of those people, you want the best non-latex condoms you can find, and at the moment, we think that’s Durex’s Avanti Bare Real Feel condoms. They’re thin, they’re lubricated, they come in a really nice looking box, and best of all, they’re 100% latex-free.\r\nCheck out Durex Avanti Bare Real Feel \r\nBest Ultra-Thin Condoms\r\nSKYN Supreme Feel\r\n\r\nWant to stay STI-free but also want to feel as much as possible during penetrative sex? That’s understable. What you’re looking for are ultra-thin condoms. Though they’re likely to feel a little on the tighter side for more well-endowed guys, for medium and smaller penises their sheer thinness will be quite hard to beat, meaning you really do get to feel everything while still retaining prophylactic protection peace of mind.\r\nCheck out SKYN Supreme Feel \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nAskMen Dating Awards 2024: Best Dating and Relationship ProductsAskMen Dating Awards 2024: Best Dating Apps and ServicesOur Favorite Bedroom Toys for Couples to Enjoy Together", "keywords": "Dating, Awards, 2024:, Bedroom, Products", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "122", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/specials/dating-awards/dating-awards-2024-bedroom-products/bedroom-products-header-1-1718122836.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/specials/dating-awards/dating-awards-2024-bedroom-products.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44040", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Awards 2024: Dating Apps & Services", "title_slug": "dating-awards-2024-dating-apps-services", "title_hash": "043d6cbd8b0a8a2f7aa5c68210db72b5", "summary": "Level Up Your Love Life With Our Picks for the Top Dating Apps of 2024", "content": "After an incredibly long tradition of romantic relationships beginning with in-person interactions, digital is the new normal when it comes to dating. Within a few years, meeting through an app went from being an embarrassing secret to simply a fact of life. \r\nBut which apps are we meeting on? There are a seemingly endless number of them out there, with new ones being introduced all the time, and discerning the real from the fake, and the good from the bad, can be tricky.\r\nPlus, given how different app’s algorithms work differently, two people who might seriously hit it off on one app might never even encounter each other on another app. You could be missing out on meeting your future spouse right now and not even know it. \r\nThat’s why we take seriously the job of recommending the very best dating apps around. So, without further ado, here are our picks for the 2024 AskMen Dating Awards, Dating Apps & Services edition:\r\n\r\nBest Dating Apps\r\n\r\nBest Overall Dating App\r\nHinge\r\n\r\nLook, we didn’t want to award this to Hinge for a third year in a row. At a certain point, it starts to feel uninspiring to trot out the same pick and a similar explanation again. But we’re committed to recommending the actual best products and services, and we’ll be damned if Hinge isn’t still the best overall dating app out there these days. It boasts tons of clever features for helping you narrow down your search and actually find people you like, and doesn’t suffer from the problem that so many dating apps do, where their goal is to keep you spending money rather than help you find people you’ll genuinely click with. All this paired with a sizable user base, a clean look and very little glitchiness? The king stays the king.\r\nCheck out Hinge \r\nBest Dating App for Queer Guys\r\nOkCupid\r\n\r\nUnfortunately for male members of the LGBTQ+ community, the primary dating apps out there these days are more about hot hookups than cute dates. While there’s nothing wrong with hot hookups, that’s not what everyone’s looking for, and sometimes it’s just nice to have an app that prioritizes your own needs. While it wasn’t created with the queer community front of mind, OKCupid‘s been a haven for progressive daters for more than a decade, and if you’re looking for something a little more serious than a zero-night stand, it’s got a sizable user base and tons of useful features for finding someone you click with.\r\nCheck out OkCupid \r\nBest Dating App for Finding Relationships\r\neharmony\r\n\r\nLooking for an app that’s very intentionally not promoting hookup-based behavior? If you’re on the hunt for something a little more long-term and emotionally invested, eharmony might be for you. By foregrounding a lengthier signup process than most other apps, which want to onboard users as fast as possible before they change their minds, eharmony gains more info about you and what you’re looking for, which better enables them to find viable matches for you. It makes you wonder why more apps don’t do this…\r\nCheck out eHarmony \r\nBest Dating App for Travel\r\nTinder\r\n\r\nTinder’s undeniable advantage over every other app out there is the sheer size of its user-base. There’s a reason the phrases “swipe right” and “swipe left” have entered the cultural lexicon: Tinder is the most popular dating app of all time. And while some of its peers outdo it in terms of user experience, when you’re on the road and looking to make connections, having a lot of users counts for, well, a lot. Wherever you go on the planet, you’re likely to find some people to swipe through in your area, making it the clear pick for people seeking a vacation fling (or two). \r\nCheck out Tinder \r\nBest Dating App for Professionals\r\nCoffee Meets Bagel\r\n\r\nIf you’re a working stiff looking for a serious relationship but don’t have the time for (or inclination to) swipe through thousands of random profiles, Coffee Meets Bagel is just what you’re looking for. Each day, it offers you a curated selection of singles to check out, and refines its suggestions over time based on your previous in-app decisions. (Plus, if you’re looking for women, there are more of them on CMB than guys.)\r\nCheck out Coffee Meets Bagel \r\nBest Dating App for Students\r\nFriendsy\r\n\r\nUniversity students can (and do) sign up for every other dating app — but why not sign up for one that was created and designed just for you? That’s what Friendsy has done, and they manage it by requiring a valid university email account to sign up. It also recognizes that young people are often looking for a host of different things, offering users the possibility of matching as friends, hookups or regular dates. If you went to school to avoid having to think about the real world for a few more years, well, you’re in luck here.\r\nCheck out Friendsy \r\nBest Exclusive Dating App\r\nThe League\r\n\r\nLook, being able to swipe on anyone and everyone is all well and good, but sometimes you want to see what the cream of the crop looks like, right? Well, if you, too, count as among them, you should be checking out The League — if you haven’t already. Owned by Match Group, which also owns Tinder, Hinge and OkCupid, among others, it’s an invite-only dating app with a lengthy waiting list that occasionally does real-life events in major cities. It’s also full of like-minded, ambitious people, so what are you waiting for?\r\nCheck out The League \r\nBest Mature Dating App\r\nSilver Singles\r\n\r\nWhen you think of online dating, you’re probably thinking of people in their 20s. But, surprise, surprise, people are looking for love at pretty much every age, and the apps that are home to young people are often not ideal online dating destinations for those in older generations. There are plenty of options for folks on the wiser side of their 40s, but at the moment, we think SilverSingles is the top pick, in particular because of its sizeable user base and up-to-date, easy-to-use design and feel.\r\nCheck out SilverSingles \r\nBest Non-Monogamy-Friendly App\r\nFeeld\r\n\r\nIn a world where it’s easier than ever to make connections, and where traditional ideas about relationships have less and less of a hold on us, non-monogamy makes a lot of sense for a lot of people. And if you’re one of those people, the dating app for you is Feeld. Built from the ground up to accommodate people looking for more than just one partner, it’s packed with features that make things easier and more fun for those looking for things outside the mainstream, whether that’s a second serious partner, a series of hot flings, a threesome, or one more cutie to add to the polycule.\r\nCheck out Feeld \r\nBest New Dating App Concept\r\nCollage Connections\r\n\r\nIt’s an unspoken truth — like the fact that every Hollywood movie is packed with the most gorgeous people you’ve ever seen — that online dating overwhelmingly favors conventionally attractive people. If you’re one of the many (most?) people who fall outside that grouping, you might wish for an app that focuses on personality first and foremost. Well, Collage Connections is a new app that does just that — letting you put together a ‘collage’ of your interests to show off to other users before they see your face. It’s designed specifically for neurodivergent people, but we’re big fans of the idea for daters regardless of their neurotypicality.\r\n \r\nCheck out Collage Connections \r\nBest New Dating App Feature\r\nBumble Opening Moves\r\n\r\nBumble built its brand on a simple concept: Women message first. And while that approach helped distinguish the app from its competitors for years, in 2024, it realized something had to give. Not only because more and more people were living outside the heterosexual gender binary, but also because, frankly, women didn’t always want to start the convo. Enter Opening Moves, a feature that allows women on Bumble to let a male match message first — as a reply to a specific question. It’s a genius update that got everyone talking, while staying true to the app’s core dating vision. Smart thinking, Bumble.\r\nCheck out Opening Moves on Bumble \r\nBest Dating App Paid Upgrade\r\nTinder Platinum\r\n\r\nTinder’s attributes shine brightest when you cough up the money to pay for its Platinum level premium membership. In addition to its vast and varied user base, Platinum means you see no ads, have no like limits, and can specify specific traits that you’re looking for. Tinder will still show you people whose profiles don’t match up with what you’re looking for, but now you can see at a glance which boxes of yours a person ticks, and easily swipe left or right depending, which means you can much more easily find people you’re actually interested in.\r\nCheck out Tinder Platinum \r\nBest Digital Dating Assistant\r\nRizz\r\n\r\nFor most of the past decade and a half, the average woman on a dating app has been able to crowdsource responses to dating messages from her friends. Unfortunately, guys don’t exactly do this. Now, they don’t have to — they can simply upload screenshots of online dating or text message exchanges and get Rizz to write responses for them. Say goodbye to feeling tongue tied! However, it should be noted that, at least at this juncture, the app may still serve deeply inappropriate jokes under the guise of being smooth. So, proceed at your own risk.\r\nCheck out Rizz \r\n\r\nBest Sexy Apps\r\n\r\nBest Hookup App\r\nGrindr\r\n\r\nLook, it may be known as an app for gay guys, but it’s time we stopped messing around and recognized it for what it really is: the best hookup app out there, period. First of all because it’s unparalleled when it comes to finding no-strings-attached M4M hookups, but second of all because these days you can easily find genderqueer and trans people on Grindr as well, meaning that your tastes can be satisfied no matter which gender(s) you’re seeking. The best part? People know that if you’re on Grindr, you’re DTF, unlike nearly every other mainstream dating app.\r\nCheck out Grindr \r\nBest Hookup App for Kinky People\r\nFeeld Majestic\r\n\r\nFeeld may be the best non-monogamy app out there, but it’s not to be overlooked as a place to find kinky people, either. The app really shines when you spring for the Majestic upgrade, which enables you to filter people by the kinks they’re into in addition to things like gender, age and distance. Only want to see people who are seeking threesomes? Boom, done. Looking for someone to dominate you? Here’s all the dominant people. It’s a little buggy, and the user base can’t compete with major mainstream dating apps for size, but it’s absolutely a better way to find the people you sexually click with than wading through hundreds or thousands of profiles elsewhere.\r\nCheck out Feeld Majestic \r\nBest Free Adult Site\r\nPornhub\r\n\r\nIs there a single online destination with more porn than PornHub? If so, we’re not aware of it. The site is much more than just a giant repository of smut, however, offering free users oodles of useful features for finding and watching the content that they find most tantalizing. Recent years have also seen them make efforts to curtail the way porn can have deleterious effects, from rejecting certain searches to adding a parental advisory landing page.\r\nCheck out Pornhub \r\nBest Paid Adult Site\r\nVixen Plus\r\n\r\nVixen remains at the top in this category thanks to not only their bevy of high-quality porn made with many of today’s top adult performers, but the introduction of Vixen Plus, a site that gives you access to all of their sub-brands, including Blacked, Tushy, Deeper, Milfy and more. If you’re down to pay for your porn — which we support — there’s no one doing it quite as classily as Vixen is right now.\r\nCheck out Vixen Plus \r\nBest Female-Friendly Adult Site\r\nBellesa\r\n\r\nIt’s no secret that most mainstream straight porn is made for men — which is fine if you’re a guy watching solo, but maybe a bit less fine if you want to watch something with a female partner. Luckily, there’s lots of porn made by and for women out there, and none better than what’s on offer at Bellesa. It’s got great production values, hot stars, and storylines that are a little (sometimes a lot) less focused on male pleasure. And even if you’re single, watching a few of these could be a seriously fun experience with a slightly different kind of porn.\r\nCheck out Bellesa \r\nBest Audio Erotica App\r\nQuinn\r\n\r\nIt’s not a traditionally ‘manly’ pursuit, but listening to your porn rather than watching it is a seriously under-appreciated way to explore your fantasies. Without being tethered to what’s filmable (or how people look in real life) audio erotica artists can bring your hottest wet dreams to life using the power of their words, their moans, and your unbridled imagination. Quinn is destination No. 1 for this kind of stuff at the moment, with reams and reams of seriously hot audio content for all kinds of listeners.\r\nCheck out Quinn \r\nBest Literary Erotica Site\r\nLiterotica\r\n\r\nIf erotica is your jam but you’d rather read some words than hear them spoken aloud, you’re not alone. If erotica is your jam but you’re not yet using Literotica, well, you might be alone on that front. It’s got a distinctly old-school interface, but that’s part of the charm of reading sexy words rather than watching videos of sex scenes, and it’s jam-packed to the brim and spilling over with every possible kind of sexual story you could imagine (and then many more that you couldn’t).\r\nCheck out Literotica \r\nBest AI Chat Site\r\nSoulDeep\r\n\r\nSexting is a lot of fun. However, it can be hard, at times, to find someone to do it with. That may be less of an issue going forward, however. The advent of tech using large language models to produce text that feels indistinguishable from real human communication means that AI chatbots can be your sexting partners. Curious about the possibilities? You could check out SoulDeep, which lets you create custom chat partners with specific physical and personality attributes, and then talk naughty to them — for a fee. Is it weird to sext with a robot? Yes. Is it still kind of hot? Unfortunately, also yes.\r\nCheck out SoulDeep \r\nBest Cam Site\r\nLiveJasmin\r\n\r\nFor the somewhat less technologically oriented, you may prefer dirty talking with a human to sexting with a robot. If that’s the case, you’re looking for a cam site where you can watch live models — and go private with them. There are lots of great options on the market today, but right now, we’re really feeling LiveJasmin. It’s not cheap, but it boasts a wealth of absolutely gorgeous models with a high standard of professionalism — they’re really there to make your dreams come true.\r\nCheck out LiveJasmin \r\n\r\nBest Sexual Health Options\r\n\r\nBest Sex Ed App\r\nBeducated\r\n\r\nPreventing STIs and unwanted pregnancies is deeply important, but those risks are only a portion of the sexual picture. Beducated is a great app that’s working to help restore the balance by providing a pleasure-driven sex ed experience, so you can learn how to truly get the most out of sex rather than just avoiding its pitfalls. It offers over 100 different online courses on everything from fingering to feeling confident in your body to how non-monogamy works. It’s a truly great resource that most guys could benefit from checking out.\r\nCheck out Beducated \r\nBest STI Testing Service\r\nTBD Health\r\n\r\nNobody wants to get an STI, but the reality of catching one is made worse by the fact that many people don’t get tested as often as they should — in part, perhaps, because they find the prospect stressful. Here to help simplify matters is TBD Health, a great online service that mails you a home test kit. Once you’ve mailed it back to their labs, you get walked through your results by a medical professional via video call. It’s a great step forward that we hope will help people be more diligent about their testing.\r\nCheck out TBD Health \r\nBest STI Prevention Service\r\nMISTR\r\n\r\nMen who have sex with men — listen up. If you live in the U.S., MISTR is an absolute must-use service (if you haven’t already started using it, that is). Offering free PrEP and PEP treatments to help protect you from HIV/AIDS as well as bacterial STIs like gonorrhea and chlamydia, respectively, it’s an incredible STI prevention concept. Telemedicine has never felt so much like the future of healthcare — just sign up, get a prescription via a video call, and receive your pills in the mail. It’s that simple!\r\nCheck out MISTR \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nAskMen Dating Awards 2024: Best Dating and Relationship ProductsAskMen Dating Awards 2024: Best Bedroom ProductsThe Best Dating Apps for Hooking Up, Revealed", "keywords": "Dating, Awards, 2024:, Dating, Apps, Services", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/specials/dating-awards/dating-awards-2024-dating-apps-services/dating-app-services-header-1718121849.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/specials/dating-awards/dating-awards-2024-dating-apps-services.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44038", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is Casein Powder?", "title_slug": "what-is-casein-powder", "title_hash": "86d50495ce17f3a820c632ee0bdc955c", "summary": "The Case for Casein: Why You Shouldn’t Neglect This Whey Alternative", "content": "Unless you’ve specifically sought out casein protein powder, the odds are good you’ve never tried it. Most of the protein powders you’ll buy in a store are some variation of whey protein (either isolate, concentrate or hydrolysate), but mere popularity doesn’t necessarily make whey better, at least not in all use cases. In fact, properly used, casein protein can significantly help you in your journey to eat healthier, lose fat and build muscle. \r\nRELATED: How Much Protein Do You Need?\r\nTo help you get the most out of your protein intake, and to demystify casein protein once and for all, we’ve put together this handy guide to all things casein. \r\n\r\nEverything You Need to Know About Casein Protein Powder\r\n\r\nCasein protein isn’t going to replace your beloved whey shake, but it also isn’t meant to. It’s got unique properties that give it other upsides beyond just chugging post-workout, and knowing what those are can help you optimize your protein intake for the best possible results. \r\nCasein vs Whey\r\nAt a glance, there isn’t much of a difference between whey and casein. You wouldn’t be able to tell them apart visually; they derive from the very same source (milk); and they contain all the essential amino acids, making them both complete protein sources. \r\nThe main difference is actually how these different proteins are digested within your body. Whey protein is (relatively) rapidly absorbed by your body, which makes it the ideal post-workout ingredient, delivering much-needed amino acids to your damaged muscles. Casein, on the other hand, tends to curd in the human stomach, which significantly slows down the digestive process.\r\nOne other major difference: although both contain all of the essential amino acids, whey and casein still do have slightly different amino acid profiles, with whey containing more leucine, isoleucine and valine, and casein containing more histidine, methionine and phenylalanine. When it comes to promoting muscle tissue synthesis, the amino acid profile of whey slightly edges out the amino acid profile of casein, which is why it is much more commonly used in protein supplements. \r\nThe Benefits of Casein Protein\r\nCase closed, right? Whey edges out casein, and you should always buy the former over the latter? Well, it turns out that casein has its own advantages, with the big one being how it’s digested. \r\nRecall how casein proteins tend to curd once they hit your stomach acids, which results in a much slower digestion than with whey? If you’re just leaving the gym and want a quick hit of protein to help jump-start the repair process, whey is your best bet, but if you’re about to go to sleep for eight hours, it pays to have a slow-digesting protein source instead of a fast one. Studies of the digestion of whey and casein protein have shown that, while whey’s amino acids circulate in the bloodstream for up to an hour and a half after consumption, casein’s amino acids can circulate for upwards of five hours, helping to stave off muscle catabolism (a fancy way of saying muscle breakdown) when you’re in a fasted state.\r\nPut differently, if you’re looking for the ideal use case for casein, it’s ingesting it before bedtime, especially if you’re already in a calorie deficit and therefore in danger of losing some muscle mass.\r\nThe Baker’s Benefit\r\nThere’s one other major benefit to stocking up on casein protein, especially if you’re someone who struggles to down liquid protein shakes: casein protein is a phenomenal substitute for flour in most recipes. \r\nProtein is protein, whether you eat it or drink it, but a great many people experience digestive issues from drinking concentrated protein drinks, especially if they’re not in isolate form. Incorporating your protein into baked goods is a great way to soothe your stomach troubles while still getting your protein in, and the Internet has a million delicious recipes, from high-protein breads and muffins to delicious dessert items, to help you out.\r\nBecause whey has a tendency to dry out when heated, whereas casein retains moisture better and can even form a kind of cream when combined with wet ingredients, it’s the protein powder of choice whenever you’re baking.\r\n\r\nOur Three Favorite Casein Protein Powders\r\n\r\nSold on casein but unsure where to start? Here are some of our favorite casein protein options, whether you’re drinking them before bed or baking up a storm.\r\nPEScience Select Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Protein Powder\r\n\r\nIf you don’t want to buy multiple tubs of protein but also don’t want to forego the benefits of casein’s slow-digesting powers, consider buying this delicious blend from PEScience. Using a mix of whey and casein, and calibrated to taste like a chocolate peanut butter treat, this powder works well whether you’re drinking it straight or incorporating it in a recipe. \r\n$39.99 at Amazon.com \r\nBulkSupplements Casein Protein Powder\r\n\r\nWant a great value pick that doesn’t sacrifice quality? BulkSupplements offers an unflavored casein protein powder that’s free of preservatives and artificial flavoring while still mixing extremely well.\r\n$36.96 at Amazon.com \r\nNAKED nutrition Naked Chocolate Casein\r\n\r\nNAKED nutrition lives up to its name, using just three ingredients in their wholesome, ultra-clean casein protein offering: casein, cacao powder and coconut sugar. It’s only available in three flavor (Chocolate, Vanilla and Unflavored), but with 26 grams of protein and just 6 grams of net carbs per serving, this is a great option for you whether you’re bulking or cutting.\r\n$99.99 at Amazon.com \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHigh-Protein Food SwapsBest Protein PowdersHow to Add More Protein to Your Diet", "keywords": "What, Casein, Powder", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "116", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/what-is-casein-powder/askmen-lead-image-template-1718128901.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/what-is-casein-powder.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44037", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Reebok Unveils First Ever Pickleball Shoe", "title_slug": "reebok-unveils-first-ever-pickleball-shoe", "title_hash": "cb6fda7ddf5dd4c4c74e98021b68718e", "summary": "Want to Take Your Pickleball Game to the Next Level? Try the Nano Court Shoes", "content": "You know an athlete has “made it” when they get a shoe deal, but by the same logic, you know a sport has hit the mainstream when major shoe companies start to make footwear for it. Given its immense popularity, pickleball was always destined to attract shoemakers, and just this week Reebok has unveiled their dedicated court shoe, the Nano Court.\r\nRELATED: Best Running Shoes\r\nGranted, this shoe works for all court sports, including padel and tennis, but Reebok went out of their way to recruit professional pickleball player Hurricane Tyra Black to promote their campaign, so pickleball players everywhere should reach for these before their next on-court.\r\n\r\nFrom an aesthetics perspective, the Nano Courts are an elegant evolution of Reebok’s best-selling Nano series of training shoes. Aficionados of those shoes will recognize some familiar design language, but the Court, launching in seven distinct colorways, are still distinctive enough to stand out from the field.\r\n\r\nAs with all Reebok shoes, however, performance takes priority, and these are no exception. Using a FLEXWAVE Pro Upper, the Court shoes offer enhanced durability and stability exactly where pickleball players need it most, while a reinforced toe box helps prevent wear and tear while protecting your feet from missteps. Their rubber outsole with herringbone traction pattern offers excellent grip and feel on all surfaces, while the Floatride Court Foam offers a comfortable ride that still manages to be responsive.\r\nFinally, the Nano Court shoes weigh just 12oz, so once you lace them up the combination of their lightweight design and excellent lockdown will have you forget you’re wearing shoes, giving you the confidence to reach for deep or long shots.\r\n\r\nWant to cop a pair? The Reebok Nano Court shoes go on sale on June 20th, on Reebok.com and in select retailers across the world.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nBest Walking Shoes for MenBest Fitness Trackers for RunnersStrength Training Accessories That Actually Work", "keywords": "Reebok, Unveils, First, Ever, Pickleball, Shoe", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "153", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/style-fashion/reebok-unveils-first-ever-pickleball-shoe/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1718026222.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/style-fashion/reebok-unveils-first-ever-pickleball-shoe.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:15", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "44036", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Tricks to Build Muscle", "title_slug": "10-tricks-to-build-muscle", "title_hash": "06afeea1540142c6b762e782d35d906f", "summary": "We all know about post-workout shakes, but what else should you be doing to get the body you want?", "content": "Many guys are discouraged to find out that building muscle involves far more than picking things up and putting them down until their body is too tired to move. Even if you're packing on the protein post-workout to aid in your muscles' recovery, you're still not likely to get the results you want as quickly as you want them if you're not making the right moves. For the best results, it's crucial that you engage your muscles with intensity to encourage muscle hypertrophy. (Or, in technical speak, that's the process that causes an increase in the size of muscular tissue fibers in both length and diameter.) To do this, you'll need to continually expose your muscles to an overload of resistance training that increases in difficulty over time. But, building bigger muscles isn't as simple as that.\r\nRELATED: How to Lose Weight by Walking\r\nObviously, the work you put in at the gym is integral to the results that you see. However, there are plenty of actions you can take when you're not working out that will enhance your body's ability to build big muscles as well. Plus, by fueling your muscles properly outside of the gym, you’ll be able to push them harder inside the gym, resulting in optimal muscle breakdown and, eventually, muscle hypertrophy. See how it all comes full-circle?\r\nIt can be a little confusing to bring all the elements together, we know. Fortunately, we're about to clue you into a treasure trove of lesser-known tricks you can use to build muscle, both in and out of the gym. They'll get you pumped up properly by accelerating your progress and maximizing the benefits of the time you spend training.\r\nFirst, let’s jump into what you can do to get your muscles prepped before you even pick up those weights.\r\n\r\nOutside the Gym\r\n\r\nIncrease Your Calorie Intake\r\nFirst and foremost, if you want to build muscle, you need to properly fuel your body with not just protein, but a variety of other nutrients, too. But if you find that you’re not able to put on weight no matter what you do, you’re probably not taking in enough calories. You may feel like you’re eating more than enough, but it’s a numbers game and you’ll need to give ‘em a boost in some sneaky ways. Try snacking more throughout the day, and making higher-calorie additions to the things you already eat. For example, add some grated cheese to your salad, and some peanut butter to your fruit slices. Both will give you an added boost of protein, plus extra fat and calories to help your body bulk up. If you’re particularly lean, you could probably benefit from an increase in complex carbohydrates, too, including whole grain breads and pastas, and a myriad of other muscle-building foods that go far beyond just protein.\r\nYou can use this tool at Bodybuilding.com to easily calculate just how many calories you should be consuming for muscle gains based on your age, height, weight, and activity level. Then, use an app like MyFitnessPal to help you keep track of your food intake until you have a good idea of which foods (and how much of them) roughly add up to the calories you need each day.\r\nDrink Up\r\nNearly 80 percent of your muscles’ composition is water, so you better believe you need to stay properly hydrated in order for them to grow. Without enough water in your system, your muscles will not be able to perform at their peak — nor will you, physically or mentally. Instead, keep dehydration at bay by topping up your reusable water bottle with about 16 cups of water per day, though that number can be scaled up or down a bit based on weight and how much you sweat. Also, remember that you can obtain healthy hydration from food, too, as well as other beverages. During a sweat session, in particular, you may even opt for a sports drink with added carbohydrates to help you restore electrolytes, essential for stimulating muscle contractions.\r\nDon’t Skimp on Sleep\r\nYou may be tempted to cut corners around your sleep schedule to fit in some extra training time, but it could be doing you more harm than good. Your body needs an adequate amount of restful sleep — between seven and nine hours per night — to achieve an optimal anabolic hormone profile that facilitates muscle recovery and growth. Therefore, when you’re well rested, you can train harder, recover faster, and ultimately make better progress than you would if you hit the weight rack on fewer hours of sleep (which would also be pretty dangerous).\r\nEnjoy a Mid-Night Snack\r\nYou can also maximize your muscular benefits overnight by consuming a healthy combo of carbs and protein about a half-hour before you hit the sheets. While we sleep, our muscles are actively repairing themselves thanks to elevated levels of growth hormone. Slow-absorbing casein protein, found in milk and its byproducts, is especially beneficial to your body overnight because it can keep your muscles fed with essential amino acids for a longer period of time. \r\nTry eating some cereal with milk or cottage cheese with fruit before bed to best fuel the processes that will boost muscle growth and reduce protein breakdown while decreasing fat.\r\nFuel for the Right Time\r\nYou can maximize your muscle recovery post-workout by feeding your body the right, easily digestible nutrients right before your workout. Sounds a little counterintuitive, we know, but hear us out. You’re probably used to downing a shake with a healthy amount of protein and carbs immediately after your workout. This combo of macronutrients will enhance your muscles’ ability to replenish their energy stores and boost the process of protein synthesis that leads to bigger muscles. However, even though the body can digest these liquid nutrients relatively rapidly, it still takes time for them to be absorbed and to efficiently put those essential amino acids into action within your muscles. So the trick here is to consume a drink with 10 to 20 grams of protein before or during your training session to get the ball rolling sooner, resulting in not only a faster recovery process, but an added boost to get you to the end of your workout, too.\r\nAfter your workout, however, feel free to go all in on a meal with about 30 grams of carbohydrates to increase your insulin levels while your blood is pumping at its best. Something along the lines of a peanut butter and banana sandwich on whole grain bread would do the trick. This will, in turn, help you rebuild muscle faster on your off days.\r\n\r\nInside the Gym\r\n\r\nGet Super-Powered With Supersets\r\nIf your muscle gains seem to have plateaued, you can increase the intensity of your workouts with supersets, or paired sets. There are many different ways to utilize them, but in this case, we’re focusing on supersets consisting of two back-to-back exercises (with no rest in between) that work out the same muscle groups in different ways. One example would be reps of deadlifts followed by reps of discontinuous broad jumps. This superset engages your glutes, hamstrings, and quads in two ways: first with a high-load, low-velocity (heavier resistance and slower speed) activity, then with a low-load, high-velocity activity. This is beneficial for growth because the first exercise increases the neural drive to your muscles so that you’re more likely to activate more of your muscle fibers as you work through the second exercise. \r\nIt’s best to space out your use of these types of supersets to every other week or longer, however, to avoid overtraining. Also keep in mind that while supersets are meant to build muscle, they are not meant to increase strength, and you may need to use lighter weights or less resistance to compensate for the higher intensity.\r\nThat said, some studies show that antagonist paired sets are a particularly beneficial type of superset in that they train two muscle groups without maxing out fatigue in either one. By definition, an antagonist muscle is one that performs the opposite duty of another. Thus, the best example of this would be bicep exercises (such as barbell curls) which flex the elbow, followed by tricep exercises (such as a tricep press) which extend the elbow.\r\nTap Into Your Eccentric Phase\r\nThink about your last bench press. It was way easier to bring the bar down than it was to push it away from your chest, right? This is because muscles are stronger eccentrically (that is, through the negative portion of the lift) than than they are concentrically (through the positive portion of the lift). Simply put, this means that you’re really only as strong as the weight or resistance you can handle concentrically.\r\nTo push your muscles past that barrier, you’ll need to amp up your strength by slowing down the eccentric (or negative) phase of your exercises with heavy negatives. This involves engaging with a weight higher than your concentric one-rep maximum in order to best stimulate your muscles’ eccentric movement. Then, you slow down the lowering (or eccentric) phase of your lift to amp up its intensity and its impact on your muscles. The goal of this movement of a heavier weight with better control is to create increased muscle tear which then leads to increased muscle repair.\r\nHeavy negatives can be utilized in a wide range of exercises from chin-ups to squats, and it’s most often done as a wrap-up at the end of your main exercise as you don’t want to max out your muscles too early in your workout. Try using negatives every other workout to avoid injury.\r\nConditioning, But Make It Moderate\r\nBody conditioning, such as high-intensity interval training (a.k.a. HIIT), can help you increase endurance, enhance flexibility, and help your muscles gain strength, speed, and power. Unfortunately, however, you absolutely can have too much of a good thing. Because conditioning targets your entire body (and your body can only handle so much stress at once), too much of it can cause your cortisol levels to rise. This, in turn, can counterproductively result in muscle weakening. Furthermore, excessive conditioning can cause you to burn off too many calories, which will make it increasingly more difficult to add mass to your muscle. \r\nTaking both the advantages and disadvantages into consideration, try to limit conditioning to just one day a week to maximize your muscle gains.\r\nSpend Some Time Under Tension\r\nTUT — or “time under tension” — training focuses on completing timed sets, as opposed to completing a designated number of reps. With your focus off of counting, you can concentrate instead on proper form and the intensity of your set for a truly explosive workout. The key is maintaining a steady tempo and slowing down during the eccentric portion of your lift to really maximize the benefits of this method.\r\nUltimately, TUT training brings results because it engages your muscles for the amount of time necessary to stimulate hypertrophy. Anecdotal evidence suggests that a 40-second set is optimal for gaining muscle mass, and you’ll know when you’ve reached that point if your muscles are fatigued when time is up. (If they’re not, you may need to increase your intensity or the weight that you’re lifting.) \r\nHowever, just as we discussed with too much conditioning, leaning on timed sets too heavily can really tax your nervous system, so use them sparingly. No more than once a week per muscle group would be ideal.\r\nIncorporate Multiple Joints\r\nSure, it’s easy to get into a rhythm with exercises like dumbbell curls and chest flies. They're great for strengthening and ultimately necessary in your regimen. The problem, however, is that these movements only engage one joint at a time, so they’re not ideal for building muscle. Instead of focusing solely on single-joint movements, you'll want to diversify your training by adding in compound exercises as well. After all, engaging multiple joints as you move around is more akin to how you use your muscles in your everyday life outside of the gym, so it only makes sense that you work on building them all when you’re in the gym.\r\nThat said, the majority of your workout regimen should aim to challenge multiple joints (and therefore multiple muscles) at once within the same exercise. Think lunges, chin-ups, bench presses, deadlifts, squats, and dumbbell rows. These moves will activate more muscle mass per repetition than their single-joint counterparts, and ultimately increase the production of anabolic hormones essential for building bigger muscles.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Chest Workout Routines\r\n\tWhich Exercise Burns the Most Calories\r\n\t8 Most Common At-Home Workout Mistakes, According to the Pros", "keywords": ", Tricks, Build, Muscle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "140", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/10-tricks-to-build-muscle/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1718209563.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/10-tricks-to-build-muscle.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-13 15:29:07", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "43888", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Top 10 Psychic Crystals for Enhancing Intuition and Spiritual Growth", "title_slug": "the-top-10-psychic-crystals-for-enhancing-intuition-and-spiritual-growth", "title_hash": "f8595345d8e14d8903e750759cf55777", "summary": "Have you ever seen real spiritual psychics online use crystals during their readings? Many do, as crystals can attract and enhance spiritual power. In fact, these 10 stones are some of the best for honing your intuition. 1. Clear Quartz There are many different colors of quartz, each with a different ability. Clear quartz offers clarity to the user, making it incredibly useful during psychic readings. 2. Rose Quartz Rose quartz is pale pink and associated with self-love. This calming, gentle, semiprecious stone allows you to tap into your heart chakra, which is the source of the following: Empathy Forgiveness Compassion Love If you’ve been hard on yourself lately, channeling with rose quartz can put your heart at ease. 3. Amethyst Amethyst is common in psychic readings with crystals for several reasons. First, it offers protection from negative energies. Second, it has a close connection with the crown chakra, which facilitates the connection between the material and spiritual realms. ", "content": "

Have you ever seen real spiritual psychics online use crystals during their readings? Many do, as crystals can attract and enhance spiritual power. In fact, these 10 stones are some of the best for honing your intuition. 1. Clear Quartz There are many different colors of quartz, each with a different ability. Clear quartz offers clarity to the user, making it incredibly useful during psychic readings. 2. Rose Quartz Rose quartz is pale pink and associated with self-love. This calming, gentle, semiprecious stone allows you to tap into your heart chakra, which is the source of the following: Empathy Forgiveness Compassion Love If you’ve been hard on yourself lately, channeling with rose quartz can put your heart at ease. 3. Amethyst Amethyst is common in psychic readings with crystals for several reasons. First, it offers protection from negative energies. Second, it has a close connection with the crown chakra, which facilitates the connection between the material and spiritual realms. 4. Citrine Bright yellow and orange, citrine is a crystal that attracts positive energy. With the power of positivity, you can build confidence in your intuition. 5. Selenite This crystal bears the name of the Greek goddess of the moon, Selene. […]

The post The Top 10 Psychic Crystals for Enhancing Intuition and Spiritual Growth appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "The, Top, Psychic, Crystals, for, Enhancing, Intuition, and, Spiritual, Growth", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "168", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Crystal.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/psychic-crystals-for-enhancing-intuition-and-spiritual-growth/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-12 13:56:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "43552", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Stretches for Men Over 30", "title_slug": "best-stretches-for-men-over-30", "title_hash": "371b9452cada0b103745a08ee821bcc8", "summary": "Feeling Your Age? These 5 Stretches Will Help You Turn Back the Clock", "content": "Let’s face it: At some point you’ve probably skipped stretching in favor of lifting. You can sort of get away with it in your 20s, but the older you get, the more important stretching becomes.\r\n“Stretching is crucial as we age because maintaining flexibility and joint health becomes even more vital to counterbalance the increasing likelihood of wear and tear, stiffness, and injury,” says Dr. Alex Stone, Doctor of Physical Therapy and Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist at Massage Gun Advice. \r\nThere’s also the fact that muscle mass and flexibility both decrease as you age, which can make you more likely to get injured doing something as mundane as tying your shoes or lifting a box. \r\nPlus, the more you stretch, the better your mobility — and your performance at the gym. “A lot of men tend to think that stretching isn't that important. A common misconception is that the only benefit of stretching is flexibility. In reality, it's necessary to improve mobility, which can help alleviate pain, improve exercise performance and even decrease the risk of injury,” Megan Hely, personal trainer, yoga teacher and owner of personal training company Hustle N Muscles.\r\nRELATED: How Stretching Can Make You Stronger\r\nTo help you incorporate stretching into your fitness routine, here are five of the most important stretches for men above 30. \r\n\r\nImportant Stretches for Men Above 30\r\n\r\nPigeon Pose\r\n\r\nIf you spend a lot of time sitting at work, your hips are nearly guaranteed to be tight. Pigeon pose is “an exemplary exercise for releasing hip tension,” says Stone: “It stretches the hip rotators and flexors, counteracting the tightness resulting from prolonged sitting. It’s an excellent preventative measure against hip dysfunction, which commonly occurs as we age.”\r\nForm tip: Keep your hips square and flex your front foot to avoid straining your knees. \r\nDeep Squat\r\n\r\nDeep squatting is not just something you should do with a barbell on your back. In fact, performing a deep squat stretch can help promote ankle, knee and hip flexibility and stave off joint issues down the line (while also improving your squat form).\r\nForm tip: Hold onto something as you lower yourself. Keep your hips open and your lower back upright (you’ll feel a stretch in your lower back too). \r\nRear-Foot-Elevated Hip Flexor Stretch\r\n\r\nTight hip flexors are also incredibly common and can lead to an array of issues, such as lower back pain. This stretch will allow you to target your hip flexors and “counteract the shortening and stiffening that occurs from extended periods of sitting,” says Stone.\r\nForm tip: Put a mat under your rear knee for comfort and make sure your stance is wide enough to get deep into the stretch without overloading your front knee. \r\nLying Hamstring Stretch\r\n\r\n“This stretch targets your hamstrings and helps promote a healthy lower back,” says Hely. It’s especially important if you are very active and spend a lot of time on your feet and participating in sports.\r\nForm tip: Slowly lift your leg. To deepen the stretch, you can hold onto your upper thigh or calf. \r\nCat-Cow Stretch\r\n\r\nAccording to Hely, “this dynamic stretch is excellent for your neck, shoulder and upper back.” All of these areas tend to get tense from both sitting and stress, so it should feel really good to perform.\r\nForm tip: Keep your hands under your shoulders and distribute your weight evenly between them. Sync the movement with the rhythm of your breath. \r\n\r\nStretching Mistakes to Avoid\r\n\r\nNow that you have a few key stretches to add to your fitness toolkit, you’ll also want to avoid the following common stretching mistakes. \r\nStatic Stretching Before a Workout\r\nStatic stretching consists of holding a stretch for a period of time. Dynamic stretching is the kind of stretch that involves movement, like the cat-cow stretch above. Avoid static stretching before a workout, as it can be counterproductive. “Studies now show that such stretching before exercise can reduce power output and doesn’t necessarily prevent injuries,” says Stone. “Dynamic stretches seem to be the more beneficial route in effectively prepping your muscles for the workout ahead.” \r\nStarting with Large Muscle Groups\r\nAccording to Stone, men tend to gravitate towards stretching larger muscle groups: “While it's not inherently wrong to stretch large muscles first, it's crucial to ensure that supporting, smaller muscles are adequately loosened up too,” adds Stone. If you neglect smaller muscles, you can affect the function of the larger muscle groups. As you build the habit of stretching into your routine, add more specific stretches for areas like your wrists, calves and IT band. \r\nNot Allocating Time for Recovery\r\nYes, you read that right — you need to recover after stretching too. “Just like with cardio or strength exercises, muscles need time for recovery after stretching. Over-stretching can cause muscle fatigue and lead to a decrease in their overall strength and resilience,” adds Stone. The key is to strike a balance between flexibility and recovery. Do different stretches on different days to mix things up. \r\nBeing in your 30s is by no means old, but the stretches and tips above can help prevent issues down the road.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nUnderrated Benefits of Yoga for MenCommon Pre-Workout MistakesHow to Get Lean Instead of Bulky", "keywords": "Best, Stretches, for, Men, Over", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "155", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-stretches-for-men-over-30/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1717621514.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/workout/best-stretches-for-men-over-30.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-07 20:06:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "43553", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How Much Protein Do You Need", "title_slug": "how-much-protein-do-you-need", "title_hash": "66e455f736725772ab8ef6dc44c7b33d", "summary": "Unpacking the Science Behind High-Protein Diets", "content": "One of the most contentious debates in all of fitness surrounds protein intake — specifically, how many grams you should consume each day. The typical Internet fitness guru advises a protein intake of anywhere from 0.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight on the low end to 2 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight on the high end, well above the USDA’s recommendation of 0.36 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight. So, you may ask, who is right? \r\nRELATED: How to Add More Protein to Your Diet\r\nAs is often the case with questions like this, the answer is closer to it depends than a cut-and-dry, single figure, but it’s still worth having a good estimate of your own body’s needs because optimizing your protein intake is the solution to a lot of common health problems and a great hack for adding muscle, battling fatigue and even keeping your brain functioning at a high level.\r\n\r\nEverything You Need to Know About Protein Intake\r\n\r\nProtein is one of the vital macronutrients, and it’s worth understanding its role in the body, regardless of whether you want to eat more or less of it each day. \r\nWhat Are the Benefits of Protein?\r\nIn the popular imagination, protein intake and muscle mass are tightly correlated. Want to look like Arnold? Eat more protein, bro! That link exists because your body breaks down protein into amino acids, which it then uses to repair damaged muscle tissue. Inadequate protein intake impairs that process. But protein has many more benefits to your body, on top of maintaining and building muscle, such as: \r\nIncreasing bone density: Higher protein intake has been proven to promote greater bone density and stave off osteoporosis, which only becomes more important to you as you age, since bone density tends to decline with time.Lowering blood pressure: In a recent meta-analysis of the effects of protein intake on health, a link was established between higher protein diets and decreased blood pressure, both systolic and diastolic. Even better, another major study finally put to rest the supposed link between higher protein intake and heart disease, so you can drop that concern as well. Staving off cognitive decline: A famous study from The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition looked at the diets and long-term health outcomes of more than 77,000 men and women and found a positive correlation between higher protein diets and long-term cognitive function. Specifically, every 5% increase in protein versus carbohydrate intake was associated with an 11% lower risk of developing dementia. Improve skin elasticity: Aging might be inevitable, but that doesn’t mean we want to look old. Thankfully, there’s been a proven link between high-protein diets and improved skin elasticity, preventing wrinkles and fine lines and keeping your skin looking youthful as you age.\r\nIf it isn’t already obvious, let’s just say it outright: protein intake is about a lot more than just muscle mass, and optimizing your protein intake has all kinds of benefits to your overall health and well-being. \r\nWhat Are the Signs of Protein Deficiency?\r\nThere’s a lot of controversy surrounding protein intake on the high end, but there’s very little disagreement about the perils of protein deficiency. In other words, while reasonable people can disagree about what the upper end of the protein intake range looks like, those same people agree that too little protein is a disaster for the body. If you suffer from protein deficiency, you’re likely to experience some or all of the following:\r\nChronic fatigueEdema (swelling of the body)Thin skinBrittle nailsWeaker hair strandsDifficulty gaining muscleChronic coldsAnemia (reduced red blood cells)Greater hunger pangs\r\nDoes the Source of the Protein Matter?\r\nAbsolutely! One of the problems of studying the impact of high-protein diets on health is that not all protein sources are equal. If you have a fast-food hamburger for both lunch and dinner, you’re probably meeting your protein goals, but there are vastly fewer nutrients (and many more preservatives, nitrates and other undesirable additives) in the fast food burger than in, for example, a grass-fed sirloin steak. \r\nIf you need inspiration for quality protein sources, Harvard Medical School offers an excellent list, including lean meats and fish, beans, peas and lentils, quinoa, eggs, nuts and seeds. These sources are desirable because they offer not only protein but also a wealth of other nutrients, including vitamins and minerals, that your body needs to function well. \r\nWho Should Eat a High-Protein Diet?\r\nBodybuilders and other strength athletes need a high-protein diet, but who else can benefit from upping their protein intake? Multiple studies have shown that high-protein diets are beneficial for promoting weight loss, first because protein itself requires energy for the body to break down and use, and next because it promotes satiety (the feeling of fullness) and therefore makes it easier to stick to your diet. \r\nThere are also some specific niche cases where it can be a huge boost to your body to pretend you’re a bodybuilder: if you’re injured, for example, especially if you’re bedridden, a higher protein intake can help your body retain its muscle mass and delay or offset atrophy.\r\nEndurance athletes (think swimmers, bicyclists, runners and rowers) also benefit from increased protein intake, since the effects of prolonged endurance exercise are highly catabolic to existing muscle tissue. \r\nIs Eating Too Much Protein Bad for You?\r\nOne of the enduring myths about protein intake is that there is an upper limit beyond which your body can process protein, and that going beyond this limit could cause damage to your kidneys. The science on this one has been in for a long time: unless you already have kidney disease, your high-protein diet isn’t going to damage your kidney. For most people, the worst thing that can happen from overconsumption of protein is that you store the excess calories as fat on your body, and even that is unlikely because it’s very difficult to overeat protein compared to, say, carbohydrates.\r\nStop Stalling — I Want a Number\r\nAlright, alright, here’s the TL:DR for those of you out there that don’t care too much about the whys and wherefores and just want some actionable information. The USDA’s recommendation of 0.36 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight is probably fine for most men, but definitely inadequate for athletes and anyone trying to build muscle or lose a lot of weight. \r\nIf you regularly lift weights, if you’re trying to build muscle, or if your bodyfat percentage is over 30% and you want to diet down, start with 0.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight and experiment from there. Good signs you’re moving in a positive direction by adding protein to your diet include increased energy, faster recovery, and progressive strength gains.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nAdjusting Protein Intake for Weight LossBest Protein PowdersThe Best Energy and Protein Bars", "keywords": "How, Much, Protein, You, Need", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "132", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-much-protein-do-you-need/askmen-lead-image-template-1717610364.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/nutrition/how-much-protein-do-you-need.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-07 20:06:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "43554", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Str8Curious: What Are Pride Parades Like?", "title_slug": "str8curious-what-are-pride-parades-like", "title_hash": "b68d4da5e363c30f064d5f84a622178e", "summary": "Are Pride Parades Actually That Horny? (And Can I Find Someone to Hook Up With At One?)", "content": "Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com).\r\nThe Question\r\n“I am planning to attend my very first Pride in NYC, but I’m not sure what to expect. Is it as over the top as I see in pictures? Do I need to be concerned about unwanted sexual advances? Can I actually meet people for potential dates and/or fun?” - Bradley, Livingston, NJ\r\nThe Answer\r\nHappy Pride, sis. If you’re out and proud, you can use this month as an excuse to cut in front of straight people at the grocery store, blast Lady Gaga in the streets, and take a much-needed sabbatical from work. (Kidding, kind of.) \r\nPride Month is a celebration of gender and sexual identity, a nod to the trailblazers who got us to this point, and a reminder (protest, really) of how much more we have to do to ensure that our rights are protected by law. \r\nBearing this in mind, it’s important to understand that Pride is so much more than a parade through a sea of confetti and rainbow vomit — it’s a state of being. If you see a member of the LGBTQ+ community with an extra pep in their step or an extra lightness in their loafers, it’s because it’s our month and we’re enjoying the freedoms of living life authentically, sans judgment. \r\nRELATED: What Gay Guys Could Teach Straight Guys About Getting Kinky \r\nWhen it comes to Pride programming specifically, most major cities will offer social events beyond a parade. It is at these venues (typically gay bars, music halls, and outdoor spaces) where you are more likely to “meet people for potential dates and/or fun” and come across the “over the top” activities posed in your initial question.\r\nBut Pride can be exactly what you make of it. A Diet Coke at the bar and a bedtime of 10 p.m.? No problem. A drug-infested circuit party and a blowjob in a dark room? Not difficult to find. An intimate dinner with your closest queer friends and allies? Go for it. \r\nThere is no wrong way to eat a Reese’s — and no wrong way to honor your homo, bi, or pansexuality. \r\nThe parade itself is more of a culmination of these events, concerts, and parties, drawing people of all ages and from all walks of life (yes, that includes thousands of straight allies) to show support for our community. \r\nCertain “news” outlets may want you to believe that it’s a nudity-filled orgy fest on the streets with drag queens converting children into a lifetime of gaydom, but the reality is quite the opposite — it’s a miles-long route that lasts literal hours with representation from practically every major business in corporate America. \r\nRELATED: Brands Supporting Pride and the LGBTQ+ Community \r\nAnd while we can delve into semantics and argue that their participation is purely performative, I am a firm believer in a) visibility on any level and b) putting your money where your Pride float is (i.e. confirming that these companies donate to LGBTQ+ organizations throughout the year and offer services for their LGBTQ+-identifying employees). But I digress…\r\nWhat you’ll also see at a Pride parade: People dancing, people cheering, people smiling, people hugging. It is love to the 10th degree and an environment of diversity and inclusion (especially for those who travel in from small towns to feel safe for a day). It is also one of the few moments during the year that actually grows my Grinch heart a few sizes and restores my faith in humanity. \r\nIs there a possibility that you can meet potential love interests organically at the parade? Of course! These routes are crowded and chock-full of visitors who are eager to chat with strangers. But are you going to get bent over and railed with a 10-inch dildo in public? No. \r\nYou may be confusing this with Folsom in San Francisco, though if this is on your agenda (and I’m not here to judge), I highly encourage you to download an app like Grindr for quicker results. \r\nStay alert, stay hydrated, but, most importantly, stay in the moment and take in the warmth that you’ll inevitably feel from everyone around you. It’s a good day to be gay (or any other part of our diverse community). \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nStraight Celebrities Who Champion LGBTQ+ RightsWhat It’s Like to Come Out of the Closet, As Told by Gay Men Films That Accurately Portray the Queer Experience", "keywords": "Str8Curious:, What, Are, Pride, Parades, Like", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "144", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-experiences/str8curious-what-are-pride-parades-like/askmen-lead-image-template-10-1717532256.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-experiences/str8curious-what-are-pride-parades-like.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-07 20:06:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "43555", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Watches Under $200", "title_slug": "best-watches-under-200", "title_hash": "f2aa0bf79c1c432ddc323e33aaefcd2a", "summary": "When you’re ready to buy your first watch, it makes a lot of sense to start on the less expensive end. That way you can figure out what you like, need or want without sinking too much into something you might decide you really don’t care for. The best way to determine your preferences and requirements is to try it out on your wrist. At $200 or under, you’re not likely to feel too bad if it turns out you really wanted a pilot’s watch when you bought a diver, or vice versa. Be extra smart about shopping and you can even get both.\r\nRELATED: Best Watches Under $1000\r\nNote that this price range doesn’t get you into the big name brands, but it will put you give you an indication of whether or not a name brand is something you feel the need to pay for. The watches on this list perform many of the same functions as more expensive pieces and have plenty of style to boast about, though they may not draw an equal number of envious glances from the label-obsessed. That shouldn’t be a consideration", "content": "When you’re ready to buy your first watch, it makes a lot of sense to start on the less expensive end. That way you can figure out what you like, need or want without sinking too much into something you might decide you really don’t care for. The best way to determine your preferences and requirements is to try it out on your wrist. At $200 or under, you’re not likely to feel too bad if it turns out you really wanted a pilot’s watch when you bought a diver, or vice versa. Be extra smart about shopping and you can even get both.\r\nRELATED: Best Watches Under $1000\r\nNote that this price range doesn’t get you into the big name brands, but it will put you give you an indication of whether or not a name brand is something you feel the need to pay for. The watches on this list perform many of the same functions as more expensive pieces and have plenty of style to boast about, though they may not draw an equal number of envious glances from the label-obsessed. That shouldn’t be a consideration when purchasing your first timepiece, however.\r\nThis $200 mark is a solid threshold to cross when acquiring the first in what we hope is not a long line of watches, but a collection that grows with you. It may later become the watch that you wear to do chores or play sports, but these are also good enough pieces to wear for years to come. You will never feel that you overpaid for anything on this list. Which is not something one can often say in life.\r\nBrands like Seiko, Bulova, and Timex have been making solid, dependable watches at affordable prices for several decades and you can feel confident strapping one to your wrist. Doing so marks you out as eminently sensible, with an appreciation for quality, but not a tendency to overspend. Some of these pieces may make a statement but it's expressed quietly rather than shouted from the rooftops.\r\nYet, for guys who are just dipping their proverbial toe into this particular market, it’s a lot smarter to not just dive into the high-priced end of this pool. You have plenty of time to work up to your first Rolex or Patek Phillipe. Instead, start slowly but stylishly, relying on tried-and-true brands including Timex, Casio, and Seiko which have been making solid, dependable watches at affordable prices for several decades and you can feel confident strapping one to your wrist. Doing so marks you out as eminently sensible, with an appreciation for quality, but not a tendency to overspend.\r\n\r\nBest Watches Under $200\r\n\r\nBecause we’ve done the research for you, these are timepieces with an interesting story, a window into the world of watches that you may find gets you hooked. It can also be something of a rabbit hole to be sure, but before committing to four figures on a watch that will last you a lifetime it’s a good idea to take one or two of these for a spin. They’re handsome enough to complement any outfit and tough enough to accompany you on anything from an adventurous hiking trip to your next job interview.\r\nSeiko SSC 141 Stainless Steel Solar Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nPerfect for the man who needs to dress up and dress down — either occasionally or on a daily basis — this handsome stainless steel watch with blue Hardlex crystal display is powered entirely by sunlight, with a six month reserve, and features a Japanese quartz movement with an analog display and a stainless steel band with push-button clasp. It’s the ideal combination of practicality and elegance.\r\n$192.48 at Amazon.com\r\nFeice Bauhaus Automatic Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nRefreshingly different, you might think Feice watches come from Scandinavia — but in fact, the brand is a Chinese tribute to the Bauhaus style. And it’s certainly one worth keeping an eye on. With an automatic movement, the big, clean, simple face dial of the Feice makes this an elegant option for a work watch or to wear on a night out, while sapphire crystal display does a wonderful job warding off nicks and scratches.\r\n$159.99 at Amazon.com\r\nMichael Kors Slim Runway Watch\r\n\r\nChic, stylish and delightfully functional — which are all the things one might expect from a timepiece with the name Michael Kors on it — this 44mm black IP three-hand watch boasts a Japanese-quartz movement and is water resistant to 50m, so you can wear it while washing your hands or taking a short recreational swim without worrying about damaging the timepiece.\r\n$98 at Amazon.com\r\nRELATED: Sleek Hamilton Watches to Upgrade Your Style This Spring\r\nVincero Chrono S\r\n\r\nVincero is dedicated to crafting high-quality watches that double as bold and uncompromising statement pieces. Its flagship Chrono S is certainly no exception as it helps the company stand out from the crowd with a style that means business. It comes with a top-grain Italian leather strap in brown crocodile, but it is interchangeable if you want to shake up your look from time to time. Plus, it’s water-resistant so you can wear it everyday regardless of the weather.\r\n$195 at Amazon.com\r\nCasio Edifice WR Aviator Chronograph\r\n\r\nThe complex dial on this piece lets you calculate things like airspeed and fuel consumption when flying an aircraft, but aside from that it just looks damn cool. The stainless steel bracelet and black and white dial with red accents are pure panache. Casio may be famous for its (now dated) digital watches, but this shows they can do analog very well. This is one piece that definitely punches above its weight price-wise.\r\n$190 at Casio.com\r\nSkagen Grenen Solar-Powered Charcoal Stainless Steel Mesh Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for more sustainable styles, Skagen has made a name for itself designing cool, minimalist, solar-powered watches that won't break your budget. We're big fans of the Grenen model, in particular in the Charcoal color, for its sleek, almost futuristic styling. \r\n$135 at Skagen.com\r\nCitizen Eco Drive Garrison Chronograph\r\n\r\n\r\nThis is a field watch style piece inspired by vintage military issue equipment. The contrasting red second hand and rugged green canvas band gives it enough panache to pair perfectly with jeans and a tweed jacket. And it’s solar powered to boot. Another great Japanese watch brand that’s undervalued, which makes it eminently affordable, Citizen has been producing quality timepieces since 1918.\r\n$174.90 at Amazon.com\r\nTimex Easy Reader\r\n\r\n\r\nThe brand that keeps on ticking also keeps on giving us wearable, stylish timepieces that look great on any man’s wrist. The Easy Reader deploys a minimalist design, using a black-silver-white color scheme to make the easy-to-read numbers really stand out. In our books, this watch is the ultimate less-is-more men’s accessory. \r\n$57 at Timex.com\r\nBulova 98H51 Dress Watch\r\n\r\nBulova, founded in 1875, makes affordable Swiss watches that have borne witness to several of history’s most significant events including famous space exploration missions. This is a masterfully simple watch that eschews complicated displays for a reserved, elegant appearance. The rose gold-toned case also elevates it above steel models and looks great with a suit. Even James Bond wore a Bulova at one point.\r\n$189.34 at Amazon.com\r\nMondaine Stainless Steel Essence Swiss Quartz Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nMondaine’s watches are based on the official Swiss railway clock, a design icon that has been widely imitated the world over. It’s powered by a highly accurate Swiss Ronda quartz movement, the same one that makes sure the trains in Switzerland run on time. This is a very high-quality piece that comes with a two-year international warranty and is well worth the price. It says that you’re interested in precision and good design.\r\n$149.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCasio G-Shock XL Series Quartz Sport Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nAre you seeking an easy way to brighten up your life? Casio’s state-of-the art XL series available in this vivd orange comes equipped with Casio’s Triple Sensor Version 3 Technology and includes a direction sensor for compass readings, pressure sensor for altimeter/barometer readings and a thermo sensor for temperature. Talk about taking a turn for the better.\r\n$74 at Amazon.com\r\nFossil Nate Stainless Steel Quartz Chronograph Watch\r\n\r\nFossil is the brand behind a lot of our favorite watches, so it makes sense it should be part of some the list. This oversized stainless steel military-inspired chronograph design features a quartz crystal movement that oscillates when a current is applied to it.\r\n$160 at Amazon.com\r\nTimex Navi XL Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nEven if you never go into the water, the men’s “diver watch” remains a popular style for those wearers who want to project masculinity and ruggedness, even if the biggest climb they do every day is up the subway stairs. This new Timex style fits the bill to a T, although its fabric slip-thru strap also helps give this timeless-feeling timepiece a modern take on a vintage design.\r\n$129 at Timex.com\r\nIf you still didn't see a watch that satisfied your horological cravings, check out all our watch coverage. You're sure to find something. \r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Watches Under $300\r\n\tBest Watches Under $500\r\n\tBest Watches Under $1,000", "keywords": "Best, Watches, Under, 200", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/watches/best-watches-under-200/askmen-lead-image-template-1717536433.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/watches/best-watches-under-200.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-07 20:06:22", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "43551", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Gym Bags for Men", "title_slug": "best-gym-bags-for-men", "title_hash": "ddedae2d503f5ae3c47926ce4ce3df7f", "summary": "Whether you live to sweat or frequent your local gym every few days — or weeks, no judgment — you know the importance of a quality gym bag, especially when toting it around town before hitting the gym or using it as a weekender for quick getaways. Nobody wants to see (or smell) your raggedy trainers thrown under the desk in your cubicle, and you certainly don’t want them mingling with your lunch in your day-to-day bag. You need something more conducive to your active lifestyle — that being a carryall that holds all fitness garb and supplements, as well as the necessary post-workout deodorants. So, whether you're a backpack fan or you're loyal to the duffel, we've rounded up the best gym bags for men to ensure your fitness gear stays safe, secure and smell-free.\r\nRELATED: Strength Training Accessories That Actually Work\r\n\r\nTypes Of Gym Bags\r\n\r\n\r\n\tBackpack: Easily portable bags for hyper-functional types on the go, with reasonable storage for clothing and equipment.\r\n\tDuffel: Designed sp", "content": "Whether you live to sweat or frequent your local gym every few days — or weeks, no judgment — you know the importance of a quality gym bag, especially when toting it around town before hitting the gym or using it as a weekender for quick getaways. Nobody wants to see (or smell) your raggedy trainers thrown under the desk in your cubicle, and you certainly don’t want them mingling with your lunch in your day-to-day bag. You need something more conducive to your active lifestyle — that being a carryall that holds all fitness garb and supplements, as well as the necessary post-workout deodorants. So, whether you're a backpack fan or you're loyal to the duffel, we've rounded up the best gym bags for men to ensure your fitness gear stays safe, secure and smell-free.\r\nRELATED: Strength Training Accessories That Actually Work\r\n\r\nTypes Of Gym Bags\r\n\r\n\r\n\tBackpack: Easily portable bags for hyper-functional types on the go, with reasonable storage for clothing and equipment.\r\n\tDuffel: Designed specifically for gym purposes with mesh air vents for circulation, multiple pockets, and two thick straps for practical mobility.\r\n\tHoldall: The most urbane of the batch, they’re better known as weekenders and ideal for getaways or storing your finest threads when making moves.\r\n\tRucksack: A shoulder strap with sporty features made from strong, waterproof material and widely popular amongst outdoor conformists.\r\n\tSackpack: Drawstring bags that are super-lightweight and hold a variety of items in a large single pocket.\r\n\tTote: More of the covert-style of bag made from different materials that offer plenty of inner and outer pockets with two different ways of carrying it.\r\n\r\nEnter the modern day gym bag. The days of throwing your funky gym clothes into the trusty old duffel are dunzo. With all types of bags for men hitting the market lately, from sophisticated backpacks to duffel bags, the array of athletic options available has never been greater. And before running off to the local sporting goods store, familiarize yourself with these popular form factors.\r\nSo like DJ Khaled, you’ve just been blessed with the major keys. Now comes the time to do some window-shopping, and eventually settle on your next exercise companion. From rugged duffel bags to roomy weekenders, we’ve scoured the net to find the best gym bags to stash your shoes, socks, shorts and toiletries without sacrificing your style or your budget.\r\nHerschel Supply Co. Novel Duffel Bag\r\n\r\n\r\nHerschel’s top-selling duffel reigns supreme for its minimalist look, refined craftsmanship, and versatility. Not too big, nor too small, the Novel is the perfect size for what many consider an elite weekender bag. You’re given a comfortable amount of real estate to lay out anything from a blazer to sweatpants. One of the best things about the bag is that it actually comes designed with a separate compartment for your gym shoes — meaning you can stash your runners away and use the main bag as a multi-use carryall for your sweaty attire or whatever else you may be toting.\r\nDetailing proves to be Herschel’s strongest suit, with some of the most basic of features, such as the two-way waterproof zipper, serving as a testament to the brand’s design pedigree. A multitude of prints from classic bold to printed stripes give the Novel some millennial appeal. The combination of a padded-webbing shoulder strap and carry handles yields enough leverage to lug it around in any fashion. Plus, because of its durable hemp/rayon outer shell, this duffel can handle anything from the locker room to baggage claim, should you require a last minute weekender bag. A lifetime warranty only confirms its stamp of approval.\r\n$110 at Amazon.com\r\nLululemon City Adventurer Duffel\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you want a gym bag to take you from the office to the gym, something that doesn't look worn down or outdated but that still has the chops to hang with the most dedicated of duffels, check out the City Adventurer from Lululemon. It's made from a water-resistant nylon shell that's extremely durable, with a recycled polyester lining. There's plenty of storage, both interior and exterior, and a dedicated, expanding pouch to keep your sweaty gym clothes separate from the rest of your things. We also love that the shoulder strap is detachable, for those of you who prefer to carry your gym bag by the handles.\r\n$168 at Lululemon.com\r\nPUMA Evercat Accelerator Duffel Bag\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nMade from 100% polyester and designed with storage capacity top of mind, the Evercat Accelerator from PUMA ticks all the boxes for a daily gym bag: it's easy and comfortable to carry; it has zipped pockets on three sides, as well as a dedicated shoe pocket; and the materials and construction are sturdy enough to withstand a lot of abuse. We also love that it's available in a variety of colors, beyond the boring all-black standard.\r\n$35 at Amazon.com\r\nCarhartt Legacy Gear Bag\r\n\r\nCarhartt’s built a reputation for assembling the toughest outdoor wear over the past few decades. So is it really a surprise the brand crafted a traveler that can carry its weight in baggage and performance? Hell no. Featuring a handsome canvas body with black accents and hardware, this bowling bag is a great option if you’re looking for something a little lower key than what the classic gym bag offers. It has far superior protection, with sturdy 1200D polyester construction that surrounds the entire bag with enough strength to stave off abrasions and falls, plus maintain enough maneuvering for supplemental packing. Even putting a pair of ice skates in here won’t scuff up the interior.\r\nIt’s a bit larger than your basic duffle, but there’s tons of space to work with, to the point where you can stuff the wife’s or your kids’ workout gear inside without compromising portability. The super heavy-duty metal zipper is practically indestructible and operates smoothly, eliminating common problems such as getting stuck on fabric. Boasting multiple pockets on the interior and exterior, this canvas number is another great option if you’re looking for a gym-and-beyond carryall.\r\n$79.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAdidas Team Issue 2 Duffel Bag\r\n\r\n\r\nDespite the athletic giant stepping up its sneaker game with a colossal rollout of insanely dope kicks across the board, it still remains one of the top sports gear makers in the biz. Proof lies in this athletic duffel bag. The Team Speed bag is a practical choice for any fitness aficionado, featuring classic fitness bag aesthetics, a spacious main compartment for all your gear, and a water-resistant base that makes it a solid choice for the guy spending as much time in the weight room as he does on the soccer field or basketball court.\r\nIt’s definitely not short of room, with one Amazon customer confirming they packed their bag with a leather jacket, several grooming products, an entire outfit and double the footwear…all at once. Build quality is just as impressive, with mesh material allowing moisture to escape the confines of the carrier, while bringing sturdiness into the mix. Those playing in amateur leagues have the luxury of branding their bags with team logos by using the blank space on the opposite side of the bag and on the end caps. Throw in a wide range of colors, from classic blues to bright oranges, and you’re sure to find a shade to modify your style, and at a killer price.\r\n$43.25 at Amazon.com\r\nGORUCK Gym Bag - Ripstop Robic\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you're looking for a gym bag that can withstand whatever comes your way, this is it. Made in America and shipped with an iron-clad lifetime guarantee, this bag can withstand up to 400 lbs of force and is composed of special-force grad materials.\r\nWhile people often think of gym bags solely for gym goers this bag is ideal for the fitness enthusiast who enjoys taking their workouts outdoors. Whether hiking, practicing HIIT routines on the grass or running stairs in the city this bag will keep your belongings safe and secure through rain, sleet and snow. Plus, in recognition of the men and women who serve the country, Goruck offers a discount to those who have or are in service in the USA.\r\n$145 at GORUCK.com\r\nGootium Canvas Duffel Bag\r\n\r\nA vintage throwback, this gym bag is made from rugged canvas and features a varsity-inspired silhouette, antiqued brass hardware, and classic colorway stripes that most collegiate athletes will appreciate. Certainly not your grandpa’s gym bag — but in some way, it could have been — this tote is more handsome and handy! Boasting canvas top handles and a removable leather strap, this canvas bag echoes the past in all the right ways, yet still offers modern day comfort and convenience.\r\nMuch of the workmanship exhibited in this duffel bag puts the competition to shame. It’s big and spacious enough to hold several days’ worth of workout gear. One of its more underrated features is the panel sewn into the bottom of the interior, which is normally ideal for keeping items flat to make the most of space. A variety of zippered pockets let you transfer all the junk in your pockets into the bag. Sturdy canvas material adds some heft to the design, though it’s a trivial give-and-take when considering it’s been molded to withstand years of use. Its compact size earns it a flight-friendly badge for it can be tucked underneath your seat or stowed above the overhead compartment. The overall integrity of Gootium’s holdall is splendorous.\r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\r\nOwen & Fred Men's Work Hard, Play Hard Duffel\r\n\r\n\r\nQuality is an attribute you pay for no matter the product. Case in point with this gorgeously crafted duffel bag. Owen & Fred’s offering is one of the more attractive options available, that favors a clean appearance and durable construction. Design-wise, it combines tough Duck canvas with Denier Nylon touches to balance its ruggedly chic appearance. Complementing these materials are leather pull-tabs and a four-inch leather nickel button-closed grip that’s soothing in hand. It also promotes a water-repellant shell to fight off wet conditions, be it a hail storm outside or the perspiration dripping from your brow.\r\nFor such an elegant piece, it’s surprising how accommodating it is in terms of storage. This thing is spacious enough to hold two soccer balls, cleats, and a full ensemble, or if you’re going the gent route, a fully loaded dopp kit, MacBook Pro and a weekend’s worth of casual wear. Suffice to say it’s tailored to manage your day-to-day cargo as well as your gym laundry. This is a work-hard, play-hard carrier with distinguished flair.\r\n$89 at BoardingPassNYC.com\r\nOakley Link Backpack\r\n\r\n\r\nSome just refuse to give up the knapsack life. So why go against the grain? Oakley convinces you to stick with what works for you with a lightweight backpack that specializes in rugged performance. Layering is everything here. For starters, the Link is built with specialized compartments for expanding baggage. You’re actually afforded separate pouches for specific items (shades, shoes, etc.) to create better organization for stowing away exercise necessities. Then we have the padded back mesh panel and straps that produce enough airflow circulation to relieve the bag of humidity and lingering odors. On those same straps you’ll find pouches that act as water bottle holders.\r\nSecurity is where the Link shines most, as elite stitching ensures the bag can handle the wear and tear of your everyday travels. The metal buckle keeps your property tightly locked in. Its safety attributes also benefit your outdoor active movements. Reflective accents, for example, improve safety when hauling ass to the gym in the dark by increasing visibility when crossing through blind spots. The same applies when cycling in low-light environments through congested main strips.\r\n$155 at Amazon.com\r\nEverest Gym Bag\r\n\r\nA typical over-the-shoulder duffel with super-sturdy assembly — Everest constructed this bag to utilize every inch of space, while surviving the wettest conditions. It’s hard not to appreciate the structural makeup with a mildew-resistant exterior and scuff, tear, rust, and scratch-resistant top. Athletic types will find the side pocket accommodating for storing shoes or wet gear.\r\nThe main compartment is spacious enough to throw all your gym accessories. If not for water sports, storing it in a gym locker proves to be just as efficient. Two front-sided pockets offer easy access to commonly small items such as fitness headphones or workout gloves. The integrated bottle pouch is also a nice touch for storing top-of-the-line water bottles. Some have even find it to serve as a quality hiking pack thanks to durable polyester fabric that keeps everything protected without sacrificing breathability.\r\n$25.44 at Amazon.com\r\nUnder Armour Unisex Hustle 5.0 Backpack\r\n\r\n\r\nThe Hustle 5.0 from Under Armour is easily the most versatile backpack on this list. It's available in dozens of colors, can do double-duty as a travel or school bag, and its extra-durable construction makes it fit for all-weather service. If you're not the type of person to let a little rain or snow keep you from a workout, you'll need a bag that can withstand the elements, and this is definitely that bag.\r\nIn terms of storage, it boasts some seriously impressive options, from pen sleeves to a phone protector to a clever shoe pouch at the bottom of the bag, so you can keep your gym shoes clean while you travel, while key comfort considerations like a ventilated mesh panel at the back and breathable shoulder straps keep this pack cozy even on longer gym commutes. \r\n$55 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nFactors to Keep in Mind\r\n\r\n\r\n\tCompartments: Pockets are major for stowing away accessories, clothing, and all other gym or travel goods. The more, the merrier.\r\n\tDurability: Again, construction is what defines a gym bag. Canvas, cotton or nylon are three materials in particular that offer long-lasting results, whereas leather adds finesse to the equation with strong quality.\r\n\tFunctionality: A bag built for organization is the way to go, so fancy one that separates clean clothes from your dirty ones, maybe one that can double as both an EDC and gym bag.\r\n\tSize: Be it handheld or something thrown over the shoulder, make sure it’s something that is as portable as it is stylish.\r\n\r\nA good gym bag is only as good as its construction. You obviously want a bag that not only grants the flexibility to carry all everyday essentials and gear, but also withstand the abuse you’ll put it through on the daily. Take these determining factors into account when staking out your next carry-on.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tFitness Awards 2024: Best Workout Clothing\r\n\tHigh-Protein Food Swaps\r\n\tFitness Awards 2024: Best Home Gym Equipment", "keywords": "Best, Gym, Bags, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "111", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/the-best-gym-bags-for-men-2020/askmen-lead-image-template-1717769744.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/the-best-gym-bags-for-men-2020.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-06-07 20:06:21", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42537", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Authenticity in Relationships", "title_slug": "authenticity-in-relationships", "title_hash": "9e6996f7a551b7c742d583716fc33837", "summary": "\nTo create a close, intimate connection we need to be authentic in our relationship. However, this is easier said than done.\nThe post Authenticity in Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

$\"Couple$

To create a close, intimate connection we need to be authentic in our relationship. However, this is easier said than done.

The post Authenticity in Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Authenticity, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "115", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/GettyImages-1458806875-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/authenticity-in-relationships/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-23 08:05:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42400", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Pants for Men with Muscular Thighs", "title_slug": "best-pants-for-men-with-muscular-thighs", "title_hash": "f6981dc65e5e80d1f96a834ec40a9085", "summary": "Have You Squatted Your Way to Gigantic Thighs? These Pants Are for You", "content": "If you’re fortunate enough to have a muscular or athletic build, you’re probably stuck in athleisure more often than not as regular clothes don’t seem to fit quite right. Either the shirt is too slim, the pants are too narrow or you end up showing off more muscles than you ever intended.\r\nFinding pants that fit well can be an especially tricky problem to solve. Muscular thighs end up being too wide for most traditional pants and the market hasn’t really figured out how to flatter the male athletic leg rather than irritate.\r\nRELATED: Best Wide-Leg Shorts for Men\r\n“Wear on the waist you were given,” says independent and Sene stylist Victoria Hitchcock.\r\nShe says that a muscular, athletic or stocky figure needs a waistline that’s well pronounced and thoughtfully-designed. This typically comes from something with a bit of stretch material added to the fabric. With jeans in particular, the pants should be able to hold their shape and not be something you have to wash after one wear to get back to that original silhouette.\r\n“I’d recommend looking for pants and denim labeled ‘athletic fit’,” says Stitch Fix Men’s Styling Expert Christopher Da Costa. “These are designed to have more room in the seat and thigh while giving the appearance of a slim, modern profile through the leg.”\r\nHe adds that if you’re looking for something a little “roomier,” relaxed pants can be an acceptable \"fit\" as well.\r\nWith all of this in mind, we’ve put together a few of our favorite options for jeans and pants that are best for men with muscular thighs. We’ve picked styles ranging from the athletic to more relaxed and even something for Sunday brunching.\r\n\r\nBest Athletic Fit Denim\r\n\r\nDU/ER Performance Denim Heritage\r\n\r\n\r\nThis Vancouver brand has been consistently putting out some of the best travel pants on the market for a few years now. Almost its entire lineup has some kind of stretch material added to create just enough give and flexibility for working all day or a long flight. These particular jeans are a mix of cotton, COOLMAX polyester and Lycra spandex for durable and water-resistant wear.\r\n$139 at Shopduer.com\r\nEverlane Uniform Athletic 4-Way Stretch Organic Jean\r\n\r\nFor a more methodical approach, Everlane has you covered with this interesting organic cotton style that comes in a four-way stretch fabric. The textile has been wash-tested 50 times to stand up to just about anything you might put it through and it comes in three different washes for a variety of uses. At under $90, it’s a great value.\r\n$98 at Everlane.com \r\nMadewell Athletic Slim Jeans\r\n\r\nWe’re fans of the dark wash with this denim, something that’s hard to find in athletic cuts. Madewell’s ever-expanding men’s collection of jeans moves up another notch with these classy pants that would pair wear with white sneakers and a solid button-down.\r\n$99.99 at Madewell.com\r\n\r\nBest Athletic Fit Chinos\r\n\r\nLevi’s 541 Athletic Taper Chino\r\n\r\nThe 541 fit from Levi's is essentially the gold standard for athletic fit bottoms. The brand perfected it through decades of refinement and have all sorts of options in this particular cut. These pants are great for business casual or slightly dressier occasions — and you’re certainly not going to miss your stretch denim while wearing them, although Levi's offers the 541 fit in jeans too.\r\nFrom $29.90 on Amazon.com\r\nBonobos The Chino 2.0\r\n\r\nStretch chinos are such a versatile staple of any wardrobe. Dress them up, dress them down, even wear them on your next long-haul flight. Bonobos also has shorter lengths for those of us with smaller inseams than the average person — save on tailoring and invest in a solid fitting pair ... or two.\r\n$99 at Bonobos.com\r\n\r\nBest Athletic Fit Joggers\r\n\r\nLululemon ABC Jogger \r\n\r\nLululemon's best-selling ABC Jogger should be on your short list of potential joggers that can accommodate large, muscular thighs. They come in a wide variety of colors, each offering a comfortable, tapered fit as well as practical extras like a hidden pocket and zippered back pocket.\r\n$128 at Lululemon.com \r\nVuori Sunday Performance Jogger\r\n\r\nAnd lastly, there’s the very weekend, very casual pair of joggers. We included these not only for their simplistic style, but the fact that they’re one of the few joggers cut at 28” for shorter legs. No more half-cuffing at the bottom, no more scrunched pant legs. They look as comfy as they act and are made to be that all-around weekend errand pant.\r\n\r\n$98 at VuoriClothing.com\r\nRhone Spar Jogger\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nRhone stormed onto the market with everyday athletic wear fitted out in technical styles rounded out with functional fabrics. There’s something a step above sweats with the Spar Jogger — it might be the media pocket, it might be the long seam finish — and whatever it is, we like it.\r\n$128 at Rhone.com\r\n\r\nBest Custom Pants for Athletic Builds\r\n\r\nSene Studio\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for something more made-to-measure, you can always check out one of the new custom fit startups, like Sene. This LA-based company has you fill out a series of questions to help find your perfect fit (if you’re in town, you can drop by their showroom as well). The prices are fairly reasonable all things considered and if you’re one of those that has to send everything off to the tailor for hemming, it may be worth the extra investment to have something that fits from the get-go.\r\nPrices vary at SeneStudio.com\r\n3x1 Denim\r\n\r\nNext time you’re in NYC, consider stopping by this homage to denim to design your own pair. 3x1 has everything from selvedge to twill and prices vary accordingly. These jeans are certainly a cut above the rest, finely crafted by those in the know.\r\n\r\nPrices vary at 3x1denim.com\r\nMTailor\r\n\r\nFor a completely digital approach, head to MTailor’s site, download the app and get custom-tailored clothes for under $100. They have everything from jeans to suit pants in a curated selection of fabrics and many of their more athletic styles are previewed online so you can get an idea of potential fit before ordering.\r\nFrom $99 at MTailor.com\r\nSo the next time you’re struggling to find those perfect pants, take a look at our list and you might just find yourself the solution those handsome ham hocks need.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Running Shorts\r\n\tHow to Wash Your Jeans\r\n\tBest Running Shoes", "keywords": "Best, Pants, for, Men, with, Muscular, Thighs", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "136", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-pants-for-men-with-muscular-thighs/askmen-lead-image-template-1716314838.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/shopping/best-pants-for-men-with-muscular-thighs.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-23 07:44:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42398", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Subscription Boxes for Father's Day", "title_slug": "best-subscription-boxes-for-fathers-day", "title_hash": "6431df3add87692f7c4aa5d18092ee6a", "summary": "With Father’s Day right around the corner on June 16, thinking about how to spoil Dad should be nearing the top of your to-do list. While a new pair of socks might be enough to put a smile on his face, is that all you really have to offer the man who helped put you through diapers, taught you how to drive, and went to all your soccer games (in the rain, no less)?\r\nRELATED: Best Father's Day Gift Ideas\r\nYeah, that’s what we thought. Dad deserves something way cooler than all that run-of-the-mill stuff, which is why a subscription box is such an awesome Father’s Day gift idea. After all, we can’t think of a better way to acknowledge and celebrate the important role of a father — and all father figures, to be sure — than by setting Pops up with a subscription service that provides him with a gift to enjoy not just once, but for many months to come. And with so many different types of subscription gift boxes out there — from fashion and fitness to beer-drinking and barbecuing — you’re sure", "content": "With Father’s Day right around the corner on June 16, thinking about how to spoil Dad should be nearing the top of your to-do list. While a new pair of socks might be enough to put a smile on his face, is that all you really have to offer the man who helped put you through diapers, taught you how to drive, and went to all your soccer games (in the rain, no less)?\r\nRELATED: Best Father's Day Gift Ideas\r\nYeah, that’s what we thought. Dad deserves something way cooler than all that run-of-the-mill stuff, which is why a subscription box is such an awesome Father’s Day gift idea. After all, we can’t think of a better way to acknowledge and celebrate the important role of a father — and all father figures, to be sure — than by setting Pops up with a subscription service that provides him with a gift to enjoy not just once, but for many months to come. And with so many different types of subscription gift boxes out there — from fashion and fitness to beer-drinking and barbecuing — you’re sure to find one that fits your dad’s interests so well that he’ll be waiting on his monthly deliveries like a kid waits for Christmas.\r\nTo help you in your quest, we’ve rounded up some of the best subscription services on the market, all equally suited to be the perfect Father’s Day gift this month (and the next few months, too).\r\n\r\nBest Lifestyle Subscription Boxes for Father's Day\r\n\r\nBreo Box\r\n\r\nIf your dad's a gadget guy, his eyes are going to light up every time this quarterly subscription drops on his doorstep. Each season, it's filled with a selection of premium tech, home, fitness, and lifestyle-minded gadgets with a total average value of up to $300! Past boxes have included cool, innovative things like solar string lights for al-fresco dining or camping trips; a hydroponic system to grow produce at home; a mat that turns your grill into a griddle; and a quick-fill air chair for easy lounging at the beach. You can gift him a one-time Breo Box, or set him up with two, three, or four boxes to stretch the fun throughout the year.\r\nFrom $144.75/box at BreoBox.com\r\nGainz Box\r\n\r\nFor the dad that likes to get his fit on, he's going to love the Gainz Box. Dropping on his doorstep each quarter, it's packed with 7-10 elite, full-size workout products — including supplements, equipment, apparel, and healthy snacks — from brands he already knows and loves, as well as fresh up-and-comers ready to help him level up his fitness regimen. \r\n$100 per month at TheGainzBox.com\r\nRad Dad Box\r\n\r\nIf you're shopping for a brand-new dad, the Rad Dad Box is the perfect gift to welcome him to fatherhood and commemorate his very first Father's Day. This subscription box includes up to nine dad-themed items, toys, or self-care products for both dad and baby, ranging from books and snacks to sore muscle rub and soap. Consider this a survival kit for new dads and an opportunity for him and his little one to further develop their special bond. You can choose to set up a monthly subscription for him, or just send him a one-off box.\r\nFrom $29.99 at RadDadBox.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: First Father's Day Gifts for a New Dad\r\n\r\nBespoke Post\r\n\r\nSourcing lifestyle accessories — from beach gear and barware tools to grooming and gardening essentials — from all across the world, Bespoke Post carefully curates themed boxes that tap into a wide array of interests. Dad will love its rotating collections in the realms of cooking, mixology, fashion, grooming, home decor, tech, the great outdoors, and more. No matter his interests, there are always a ton of fresh, themed boxes that deliver a whole lot of bang for the buck (and support really cool small businesses, too). You can give him a gift card to try it out for himself, or surprise him with a monthly subscription that he can switch or skip at any time.\r\n$49 at BespokePost.com\r\nLoot Crate\r\n\r\nFor the gamer dad or the dad who’s into graphic novels (or the dad who has any sort of niche interests, for that matter), Loot Crate will hook him up with limited edition collectibles, tech gadgets, apparel, and gear related to all his favorite fandoms. The service works on a monthly basis to deliver thematic boxes — which feature collaborations with the likes of Nintendo, Halo, and Marvel — so go ahead and pick whichever one he geeks out about most and watch his face light up like a little kid with every unboxing.\r\nFind out more at LootCrate.com\r\n\r\nBest Food & Drink Subscription Boxes for Father's Day\r\n\r\nButcher Box\r\n\r\nMeat lovers rejoice! Gift your dad this truly epic subscription this Father's Day — at the peak of grilling season, no less — and he'll be treated to high-quality cuts of 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, humanely raised pork, and wild-caught seafood, all at an amazing value. Choose from curated or custom boxes; either way, the antibiotic- and hormone-free meats will be shipped free (in eco-friendly, insulated packaging) to his door on his schedule.\r\nFind out more at ButcherBox.com\r\nGrill Masters Club\r\n\r\nSpeaking of BBQ season, help Dad get his grill on with this fan-favorite subscription box packed with a curated selection of pitmaster-approved barbecue gear, grilling tips, recipes, and special deals. We're talking top-tier spices and rubs, lip-smacking BBQ sauces, and innovative grill-side accessories delivered to his doorstep each month. It's the perfect Father's Day gift for dads who are passionate about their carnivorous cookouts.\r\nFrom $36.99 at GrillMastersClub.com\r\nVerve Coffee\r\n\r\nThe best gifts are the ones they'll use every day. So if Dad is a coffee drinker, you can't go wrong with a subscription to Verve. Known for its high-quality offerings, Verve sources coffee beans from around the world and roasts them in a vintage roaster on the California coast. To send a subscription his way, simply pick a coffee from the 12 options; select whole bean or ground (coarse, medium, or fine); choose how much coffee you want to send; then select the shipping frequency and the number of months you want to gift (3, 6, 9, or 12 months).\r\nFrom $19.75 at VerveCoffee.com\r\nBeer of the Month Club\r\n\r\nIf your dad's a microbrewery aficionado, he's sure to love this virtual mug club membership to Beer of the Month Club. Boasting a craft beer stock from more than 1,000 U.S. and International breweries, BOTMC scans the globe for the best small-batch, off-the-beaten-path brews, all chosen by a panel of industry professionals. You can choose to gift Dad anywhere from two to 12 months of brewed goodness across five different memberships: The U.S. Microbrewed Beer Club; the U.S. and International Variety Beer Club; the Hop-Heads Beer Club (think IPA’s); the International Beer Club; and the Rare Beer Club.\r\nFrom $37.95 at BeerMonthClub.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Father’s Day Gift Guide: Booze Edition\r\n\r\nMantry\r\n\r\nWith Mantry, it’s all about artisan eats for the homegrown foodie. This every-other-month box comes packed with six full-size products carefully curated from artisan food makers around the United States, such as Georgia Soul hot sauce, South Carolina Bittermilk cocktail mixer, and honey from the Savannah Bee Company. Far beyond what Dad can find at the grocery store, each box tells a story about America’s real tastemakers — and it ships in a cool wooden crate that he can upcycle for his shop or garage, too. Choose to send him a one-off surprise, or hook him up with three or six Mantry boxes that'll ship out every two months.\r\nFind out more at Mantry.com\r\nBlue Apron\r\n\r\nIf Dad likes to eat well but isn’t exactly a wizard in the kitchen, he’ll appreciate the beauty of Blue Apron. Blue Apron will send him weekly batches of fresh and pre-portioned ingredients — complete with instructions — to create restaurant-worthy meals from the comfort of his home. Best of all, we love that they let you choose special preferences to curate your meal recommendations, like nutritionist-approved recipes and fast-and-easy options he can get on the table in 30 minutes or less. \r\nFrom $12.49 per serving at BlueApron.com\r\nSalt and Straw Pint Club\r\n\r\nYou really can’t go wrong with the unique gift of an ice cream subscription. (Summer is about to be in full swing, after all!) Through Salt and Straw’s Pint Club, you can ensure Dad has a regular supply of ice creams for one, three, six, or 12 months to come. Flavors range from the delectably gourmet — like sea salt with caramel ribbons — to the classic chocolate chip cookie dough, but all are equally delicious.\r\nFind out more at SaltAndStraw.com\r\n\r\nBest Fashion & Grooming Subscription Boxes for Father's Day\r\n\r\nHarry’s Shave Plan\r\n\r\nIf you want to go a notch above the basics, Harry’s subscription service will supply Dad with top-of-the-line shaving tools in a way that is incredibly convenient. Harry's razors are equipped with high-quality, German-engineered steel blades with specialized handles, and you can even have it engraved for him! Once he's ready for razor refills, he can get them shipped right to his doorstep. What’s more, Harry’s shaving gel and daily face exfoliator smell so good, Dad will be looking for excuses to shave.\r\nFind out more at Harrys.com\r\nDollar Shave Club\r\n\r\nDollar Shave Club is the OG shaving subscription service, known for its delightfully snarky branding and super affordable razors. You can give him a gift card to check it all out himself, or kick things off for him with a curated gift set. (We love the Super Ultimate Shave Gift Set which includes a black matte handle with rubberized grip, six blade refills, DSC Prep Scrub, DSC Shave Butter, and DSC Post Shave Dew.) After he inevitably falls in love with DSC's superior shave products, he can set up his subscription to have refill razor cartridges and other full-size shave essentials sent right to his door throughout the year. \r\nFind out more at DollarShaveClub.com\r\nWatchGang\r\n\r\nA Rolex might not fit with your Father's Day gift budget, but you can still tap into Dad's watch-loving side with a subscription to WatchGang. As a WatchGang member, he can select his favorite timepieces from the list of options (brands include everything from Jack Mason to Fortuna) and he will receive a watch that retails at up to five times the membership fee. Plus, every week, he’ll be automatically entered for the chance to win a Rolex, TAG Heuer, or Seiko.\r\nFind out more at WatchGang.com\r\n\r\nMost Entertaining Father's Day Subscription Boxes\r\n\r\nAudible\r\n\r\nIf Dad’s trying to avoid accumulating more “stuff,” look instead to this digital subscription gift. With a membership to Audible, he will receive a new credit every month which can be put towards the best-seller or newly released audiobook of his choosing. He'll also gain unlimited access to thousands of included podcasts and audiobooks.\r\n$7.95 at Audible.com\r\nBarkBox\r\n\r\nIf the family dog is actually dad's best friend, this epic gift for the pups is just as much a gift for him. (Seriously, is there any more enjoyable way to unwind after a long day than to play with your dogs?) He'll love seeing the pure joy on their faces when he unboxes a bunch of fun new toys and tasty treats in each month's themed collection. A Barkbox subscription truly is a failsafe gift for any dog owner, dads included.\r\nFind out more at BarkBox.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Unique Father's Day Gifts\r\n\r\nVinyl Me, Please\r\n\r\nIf Dad welcomed the vinyl resurgence with open arms only to discover his dusty records were in rough condition, help him reboot his collection and discover some new tunes with a subscription to Vinyl Me, Please. Each month, he will receive a record (from his choice of Essentials, Classics, Hip-Hop or Country), a musical-inspired print, and a custom cocktail recipe. Memberships are available for three, six, or 12 months.\r\nFrom $128 at VinylMePlease.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBooks for Father's Day\r\n\tFather's Day Grooming Gifts\r\n\tLast-Minute Father's Day Gift Ideas", "keywords": "Best, Subscription, Boxes, for, Fathers, Day", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "124", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-subscription-boxes-for-father-s-day/askmen-lead-image-template-1716395476.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-subscription-boxes-for-father-s-day.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-23 07:44:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42399", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Unique Birthday Gifts for Him", "title_slug": "unique-birthday-gifts-for-him", "title_hash": "79fd2b9f1ea7b24bfac886a3c9153b09", "summary": "His birthday is right around the corner! Now is the time to celebrate the birthday boy and toast to his past accomplishments, future adventures and getting a little bit older with his loved ones by his side. Cue brews, birthday cake and perhaps a nice little token of gratitude? No matter if you're shopping for your husband, brother, boyfriend or buddy birthdays are one of the most fun gifting events of them all, so leave your 'perfect birthday gifts for him’ induced stress behind and enjoy the process.\r\nRELATED: Best Colognes for Men\r\nWhether the dude in question is a fashion maven or an outdoors enthusiast, we’ve found great birthday gift ideas for him and your budget. And if your birthday is quickly approaching and you're doing a little browsing for yourself, we've gathered a few of the products we've been side-eyeing all year to give you a little wishlist inspiration.\r\nWithout further ado, here are the best unique birthday gifts for him — to give, or request. They run the gamut from", "content": "His birthday is right around the corner! Now is the time to celebrate the birthday boy and toast to his past accomplishments, future adventures and getting a little bit older with his loved ones by his side. Cue brews, birthday cake and perhaps a nice little token of gratitude? No matter if you're shopping for your husband, brother, boyfriend or buddy birthdays are one of the most fun gifting events of them all, so leave your 'perfect birthday gifts for him’ induced stress behind and enjoy the process.\r\nRELATED: Best Colognes for Men\r\nWhether the dude in question is a fashion maven or an outdoors enthusiast, we’ve found great birthday gift ideas for him and your budget. And if your birthday is quickly approaching and you're doing a little browsing for yourself, we've gathered a few of the products we've been side-eyeing all year to give you a little wishlist inspiration.\r\nWithout further ado, here are the best unique birthday gifts for him — to give, or request. They run the gamut from gadgets to luxury fragrances. \r\nAnd guys, don't forget to plan ahead and pick something up for her birthday while you're at it.\r\nClassic St Mawes Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nFeaturing an American-made leather strap that will develop its own signature patina over time, this watch has all the timeless features one seeks out in a timepiece, with a dash of rugged style thrown in for good measure.\r\n$229 at DanielWellington.com\r\nLeatherman Multitool\r\n\r\nThis Leatherman model is equipped with 14 tools – from wire cutters to bottle opener – so he can take on whatever challenges arise at home, while hiking or out on the road.\r\n$69.95 at Amazon.com\r\nYosemite Half Dome Whiskey Glasses\r\n\r\nEvery grown man needs decent whiskey glasses and if your friend served you scotch in a plastic cup the last time you were over, well, it’s time to intervene. \r\n$15 at Huckberry.com\r\nApple AirPods (2nd Generation)\r\n\r\nAirPods are all the rage these days – and with good reason. Providing a convenient, cord-free way to tune into music, take calls or access Siri, these headphones are small but mighty.\r\n$89 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Your Husband\r\n\r\nUrsa Major Hydration Heroes Bundle\r\n\r\n\r\nThe downside of a birthday is that you often feel more aware of just how quickly you seem to be aging. Help him slow down the process – on the outside at least – with this hydration-promoting skincare set from Ursa Major. \r\n$122.40 at Amazon.com\r\nAirfare Gift Card\r\n\r\nSo it might not be in the budget to get him a return plane ticket for his birthday, but you can still help him out by contributing to the flight fund. Delta gift cards and e-gift cards start at $50 value and go up to $1,000.\r\nFrom $50 at Delta.com\r\n‘1,000 Record Covers’ - Taschen\r\n\r\nGathering 1,000 of the most iconic records of music history, this book displays not only the great imagery of record covers but detailed information on each one.\r\n$14.24 at Amazon.com\r\nCoach Leather Wallet\r\n\r\nCoach has really nailed how to create wallets that are both luxurious and practical. To really hit your birthday gift for him out of the park, customize the interior with a monogram in a hue of your choosing.\r\n$150 at Coach.com\r\nBaseball Stadium Blueprint\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for a personalized birthday gift for him, a customized print is the way to go. With this baseball stadium blueprint, he can bring his love of the game to his workspace or home office.\r\nFrom $85 at Uncommongoods.com\r\nAtlas Coffee Club\r\n\r\nFor the birthday gift for him that keeps on giving, look no further than the coffee subscription. Coffee will be selected to match his taste and bean preferences (ground and whole) and he will receive a card with tasting notes and brewing tips.\r\nFind out more at AtlasCoffeeClub.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Stylish Gifts for Him\r\n\r\nTickets\r\n\r\nLooking for a unique birthday gift for him? Skip the ‘stuff’ and opt for an experience instead. Whether it’s a football game, a concert or a stand-up comedy show, surprise him with some tickets to an event in your area.\r\nFind out more at SeatGeek.com\r\nSonos Era 100 Speaker\r\n\r\nIf he’s still relying on his smartphone speaker for his music listening needs it’s time he got an upgrade. \r\n$249 at Sonos.com\r\nPhilips Norelco OneBlade Trimmer\r\n\r\nIf he’s the kind of man who seeks out only the best, not just from a functional standpoint but also from an aesthetics perspective, the Philips Norelco OneBlade Trimmer is the home run of rechargeable beard clippers.\r\n$37.96 at Amazon.com\r\nFitbit Inspire 3 Fitness Tracker\r\n\r\n\r\nNo matter if his workout regime veers more towards running marathons or Netflix marathons, Fitbit’s Inspire fitness tracker is a useful gadget for tracking fitness progress and lifestyle habits. \r\n$108.79 at Amazon.com\r\nSeñor Lechuga Hot Sauce Set\r\n\r\nFeaturing all three of the brand’s signature sauces – from pineapple and garlic to habanero and onion – this set will ensure his meals get the extra kick they need for months to come.\r\n$36 at SenorLechugaHotSauce.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Beer Lovers\r\n\r\nCustom Nike Sneakers\r\n\r\nWhether you want to surprise him with a pair that reflects his taste or let him design them himself, Nike’s customization tool makes personalizing sneakers effortless and super entertaining.\r\nFrom $80 at Nike.com\r\n‘Where to Eat Pizza’ - Daniel Young\r\n\r\nIf he’s a self-proclaimed pizza expert help him find the top pie spots to hit up on his travels with this expert-curated guide.\r\n$21.79 at Amazon.com\r\nAmazon Fire Stick 4K\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile a flat-screen TV may be out of your price range, you can still give him the gift of entertainment with Amazon’s Fire Stick. A click of the remote gives him access to thousands of movies and TV episodes from top-tier stations, as well as full access to YouTube and Facebook. \r\n$29.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTom Ford Oud Wood Cologne\r\n\r\nThere's no time like a birthday to establish his signature scent. And when it comes to men's fragrances, Tom Ford is always a safe bet.\r\nFrom $195 at Nordstrom.com\r\nBeer Caramelizer\r\n\r\nPlanning on camping soon? Bring a fun twist to his fireside brews with this caramelizer wand. All he has to do is heat the tip in the campfire, give his beer a quick zap and it will become smoother and richer – no joke.\r\n$37.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Sports Lovers\r\n\r\nLululemon City Sweat Hoodie\r\n\r\nFor all the girlfriends searching for the perfect birthday gift for their boyfriend, look no further. Cozy hoodies for him, mean cozy hoodies to cuddle up to and borrow from time to time. Made with sweat-wicking, four-way stretch French Terry Cloth fabric, this one is as breathable as it is warm. \r\n$128 at Lululemon.com\r\nMasterClass\r\n\r\nThis e-learning website isn’t your typical class program, it brings experts from a wide variety of fields – think Steve Curry teaches basketball and Gordon Ramsay teaches cooking – and puts them in front of you. Well, at least on your computer screen via a year of online classes. \r\nFind out more at MasterClass.com\r\niPad\r\n\r\nIf this is a milestone birthday, you might want to invest in a birthday gift that will not only be put to great use but will last for awhile. Whether it’s a Mini, Standard, Pro or Air, you can’t go wrong with an iPad.\r\nFrom $329 at Apple.com\r\n‘Everything Is F*cked - A Book About Hope’ - Mark Manson\r\n\r\nBirthdays are often a time to reflect and set goals for the future. This book will help him get there. Motivational and eye-opening, the sequel to “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” doesn’t disappoint.\r\n$12.55 at Amazon.com\r\nDJI Mini 3 Drone\r\n\r\n\r\nToys aren’t strictly reserved for kids’ birthdays. With this drone, he can capture 48MP photos, 4K HDR videos and aerial selfies, not too shabby.\r\n$949 at Amazon.com\r\nRace Car Driving Experience\r\n\r\n\r\nIf your giftee recently pulled a Marie Kondo and streamlined his life and home to be rid of excess “stuff,” you might be better off giving him an experience birthday gift. And what experience could more thrilling than driving a real race car? \r\nFind out more at VirginExperiences.com\r\nTRX Go Training System\r\n\r\n\r\nIf he’s committed to staying in shape but his lifestyle has him on-the-go on-the-reg, a TRX training system will be welcomed with open arms. With this simple system, he can do numerous bodyweight exercises almost anywhere.\r\n$139.85 at Amazon.com\r\nZen for Men Bath Salts\r\n\r\n\r\nIt’s his birthday he deserves a little R&R. These foaming ‘zen for men’ bath salts are sourced from the Pacific Ocean and are designed to relax the body and ease muscle aches and pains.\r\n$65.99 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Books for Dads\r\n\r\nHerschel Novel Duffel Bag\r\n\r\n\r\nUsing his gym bag for weekend trips just isn’t cutting it. He's not 15, and his travel bag shouldn’t allude that he is. \r\n$99.95 at Amazon.com\r\nOoni Karu 12 Portable Pizza Oven\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for a birthday gift for your boyfriend, consider the pizza oven. He can channel his inner pizza chef and prepare custom pies to suit his taste, and you can reap the benefits (slices), too.\r\n$299 at Amazon.com\r\nWarby Parker Sunglasses\r\n\r\nNew age, new shades. These sunglasses from Warby Parker are lightweight, built-to-last and equipped with 100 percent UVA and UVB blocking. Not to mention, they look stylish af.\r\nFrom $95 at Warbyparker.com\r\nYeti Rambler Mug\r\n\r\nCoffee or beer, camping or commuting, this mug is incredibly versatile. Insulated to keep cool drinks cool and hot drinks hot, with no condensation on the outside, this durable mug is sure to be put to great use.\r\n$24 at Amazon.com\r\nSorel Falcon Ridge II Scuff Slippers\r\n\r\n\r\nYou can never go wrong with a great pair of slippers. Fit for outdoors and in, these babies will keep his feet cool in the summer, toasty come winter and always comfortable.\r\n$85 at Sorel.com\r\nRELATED: Best Gift Cards for Men\r\nCloudKnit Sweatpants\r\n\r\nHe’s another year older, that means… it’s time he tossed out those old tattered sweats and upped his loungewear game. These CloudKnit sweatpants are probably the softest thing you’ll ever touch and they look good, too.\r\n$88 at OutdoorVoices.com\r\nNine Trails Terravia Backpack\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for the perfect birthday gift for the man who loves and outdoor adventure you’ve come to the right place. This hiking backpack is not only built to withstand the toughest of elements, it also has a number of compartments and pockets to keep essentials safe.\r\n$149 at Patagonia.com\r\nNespresso VertuoPlus Next Coffee Machine\r\n\r\n\r\nA great coffee machine isn’t just a birthday gift, it’s an everyday gift. With this machine, he can prepare everything from espresso shots to cappuccinos effortlessly.\r\n$209 at Amazon.com\r\n‘Nopalito’ - Gonzalo Guzmán\r\n\r\nFrom braised pork to crispy red quesadillas, there’s a lot to love about this cookbook. \r\n$18.89 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Parents\r\n\r\n‘47 Baseball Cap\r\n\r\nA classic for a reason, you can’t go wrong with a good cotton baseball cap. Just make sure you pick the right team.\r\n$27.88 at Amazon.com\r\nNorse Tradesman Drinking Horn\r\n\r\n\r\nWhether he prefers medieval mead or modern day beer, who wouldn’t want to spend their birthday sipping from a drinking horn? Because of its design, the drinking horn is impossible to put down, so he’ll have to drink up — and why shouldn’t he? \r\n$31.87 at Amazon.com\r\nRILL Damascus Backwoods Camp Axe\r\n\r\n\r\nIf he loves to hike or camp, he needs lightweight, portable tools, that can be easily tucked in his pack. This Damascus axe is ideal for chopping wood for a fire, and when not in use it brings a rugged yet stylish touch to the wall.\r\n$210 at RILLSimpleTools.com\r\nMantry Subscription\r\n\r\nOnce his subscription to Mantry starts, he’ll wonder how he lived without it. Packed with tasty, made in the USA, artisan snacks – think bbq sauces and smoked popcorn – this subscription package is sure to be a hit during a big game or a Netflix night.\r\nFind out more at Mantry.com\r\nGiant Jenga\r\n\r\nJenga like you’ve never seen before. This gift will be a hit at his birthday party and many home bashes to come.\r\n$129.95 at Amazon.com\r\nSee? Birthday gift shopping doesn’t need to be stressful. This day is all about celebrating him, so anything that calls out to his interests/ needs will be welcomed with open arms. Just don’t forget the day, that’s on you.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Gift Ideas for Coworkers\r\n\tBest Running Shoes\r\n\tUnique Father's Day Gifts", "keywords": "Unique, Birthday, Gifts, for, Him", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "122", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/birthday-gifts-for-him/askmen-lead-image-template-1716380310.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/birthday-gifts-for-him.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-23 07:44:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42396", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Spooning Sex Position", "title_slug": "spooning-sex-position", "title_hash": "260fc0d3610e47b40d8ed77859632220", "summary": "If you own more than one spoon, you can likely imagine the position and benefits of spoon sex. \r\nStacking two bodies beside one another is undoubtedly more involved than putting silverware away, but if you’re new to the spooning sex position, there are plenty of reasons to try it. \r\nLow-effort but still lots of fun, this classic position benefits both partners involved — and did we mention it's super easy to execute? \r\nRELATED: First-Time Sex Positions for Virgins \r\nThat being said, like any sex position, it does have a handful of downsides. Here's everything you need to know about the spoon position, as told by experts and enthusiasts: \r\n\r\nWhat Is the Spoon Sex Position?\r\n\r\nIf you're familiar with doggy style, the spoon sex position is a variation thereof, done lying down on your sides. \r\n“Like two spoons stacked together, the two bodies are stacked together with one person's butt pushed into the other person's groin region,” explains Dr. Jenni Skyler, LMFT, certified sex therapist fo", "content": "If you own more than one spoon, you can likely imagine the position and benefits of spoon sex. \r\nStacking two bodies beside one another is undoubtedly more involved than putting silverware away, but if you’re new to the spooning sex position, there are plenty of reasons to try it. \r\nLow-effort but still lots of fun, this classic position benefits both partners involved — and did we mention it's super easy to execute? \r\nRELATED: First-Time Sex Positions for Virgins \r\nThat being said, like any sex position, it does have a handful of downsides. Here's everything you need to know about the spoon position, as told by experts and enthusiasts: \r\n\r\nWhat Is the Spoon Sex Position?\r\n\r\nIf you're familiar with doggy style, the spoon sex position is a variation thereof, done lying down on your sides. \r\n“Like two spoons stacked together, the two bodies are stacked together with one person's butt pushed into the other person's groin region,” explains Dr. Jenni Skyler, LMFT, certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com. “The legs are typically bent, and heads are nestled close to each other.”\r\nIf you’re having trouble picturing it, here’s an illustration: \r\n\r\nIllustration by Carlee Ranger.\r\nIn any spooning scenario, there's someone who plays the role of the “big spoon” (the partner in the back), who cradles the “little spoon” in front. \r\nRELATED: Sexual Positions Women Enjoy \r\nWhen it comes to cuddling, which partner plays which role is largely up to preference (though the bigger partner may have to maneuver to curl themselves up more if they want to be the small spoon). \r\nIn a sexual scenario, the penetrating partner plays the big spoon so that they can enter from behind; hetero couples will often find this a familiar dynamic if the penetrating partner is a man and larger than his female partner, but queer couples or straight couples who want to explore pegging play may want to experiment with switching things up. \r\n\r\nBenefits of Spoon Sex\r\n\r\nSpoon sex is often a go-to position for morning sex, or for one of those days when both partners are feeling lazy and horny. \r\nRELATED: Low-Effort Sex Positions for When You're Feeling Lazy \r\n“This is a great position for those who are feeling tired, those who want the full-body closeness and intimacy, or those who have injuries or physical challenges,” Skyler explains. \r\nUnlike labor-intensive positions like reverse cowgirl, neither partner needs to do much in terms of mobility for spooning sex to work. \r\n\r\n“Any time I'm in the spoon position when I'm cuddling, I end up getting horny,” says Claire, 23. “My butt is right there pressed up against it, and it makes me want to do it, so usually we'll just stay in that position, strip down and do it that way.”\r\n\r\nThe little spoon can press their body into the big spoon to generate pressure and movement; the big spoon can slowly move their hips in and out, or a combination of both. \r\nSince both partners are cuddled up next to each other, this position also doesn't require a ton of space. If you're feeling horny while hanging out together on the couch and don't want to relocate, spoon sex can easily be done right then and there. \r\nRELATED: Sex Positions Best Performed on Your Couch \r\nThe spoon position offers maximum body-to-body contact, making it a strong option as a winter sex position when it’s chilly out, and for feeling more of a physical connection with your partner. \r\nSpoon sex also leaves your hands free to do other things with. \r\n“[Spoon sex] allows for easy access to the clitoris and perineum, making additional stimulation simple to incorporate,” explains Rachel Wright, licensed psychotherapist and sex expert for Zumio. \r\nPlus, it's super versatile. “Spooning can be adapted for vaginal intercourse, anal sex, assisted masturbation with hands or a toy,” Wright continues. \r\nSince the spoon position allows for more shallow penetration than others, it can help people with penises last longer, Skyler points out. \r\n“Spooning can be great for those in the last semester of pregnancy and need to be in a side-line position for comfort,” she adds. \r\nRELATED: Best Sex Positions to Try During Pregnancy \r\n\r\nDrawbacks of Spoon Sex\r\n\r\nWhile the closeness of both people’s torsos and heads makes for some degree of intimacy, if you're someone who likes to lock eyes with your partner during the act, you may be disappointed that the spoon sex position makes this all but impossible. \r\nRELATED: Relationship Between Eye Contact & Attraction, Explained \r\nAnd, if you're a visual person who likes to see your partner's body during sex, limited visibility is also something to consider here, especially if you’re spooning under the covers. \r\nAdditionally, the range of motion this position affords might not be for everyone. \r\n“The position can restrict the range of motion and thrusting power,” explains Wright, which may limit the ability of some people with penises to reach orgasm during spoon sex. \r\n“The penetration angle might not be ideal for everyone, and it might require adjustment to find what feels best,” she continues. \r\n\r\n“Having sex in this position seems like a good idea in theory, but I could never get the angle right with my ex,” says Jada, 27. “He'd always slip out, and I'd be afraid of crushing his [penis] with my [butt], so we'd just cuddle in the spoon and move on to other positions.”\r\n\r\nWays to Make Spoon Sex More Fun\r\n\r\nWant to get more creative in the spoon position? Here are a few expert tips.\r\nChange Up the Angles\r\n“The receiving partner can adjust their leg positioning (like raising or straightening the top leg) to allow for different penetration angles and depths,” Wright explains.\r\nRELATED: Sex Positions for Partners With Height Differences \r\nSwitch Who's in Control\r\n“Sometimes, the front partner can push back into the other, taking control of the rhythm and depth,” says Wright. \r\nThis can make it a great option if the penetrating partner’s got a big penis and needs to be careful not to injure the receiving partner. \r\nRELATED: The Best Big Penis Sex Positions, Revealed \r\nTry Anal Sex\r\nIf the receiving partner has a vagina, well, FYI that spooning can also be a solid anal sex position, too. Just don’t try to switch from vaginal to anal without warning — anal sex requires not only enthusiastic consent, but also some prep work. \r\n “This makes for easy-going, shallow anal sex for those beginning or for those who want it more shallow,” says Skyler.\r\nTry Adding Toys\r\nIf you’re comfortable with sex toys, try using a vibrator to introduce additional stimulation into the mix, particularly for the clit or perineum of the person in the little spoon position. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nPositions to Help You Last LongerStealthy Sex Positions That Don't Make Much Noise\r\nBest Sleep Positions for Couples", "keywords": "Spooning, Sex, Position", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "220", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/dating/love_tip/spooning-1097217-TwoByOne.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/spooning.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-23 07:44:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42397", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Dos and Don'ts of Hiring a Dominatrix", "title_slug": "the-dos-and-donts-of-hiring-a-dominatrix", "title_hash": "e50430d114d3b57a010d1761cc4c8aa4", "summary": "In the name of journalism, our writer paid one a visit - and lived to tell the tale.", "content": "As much as we are for equality in society at large, it's undeniably true that power dynamics can make for some extremely fun and sexually charged experiences, which is probably why so many of our most secret kinks involve them. And of all the taboos and fantasies, perhaps none is less talked about than the male desire to be degraded, talked down to, disciplined, or otherwise made to feel powerless.\r\nDoes the idea of a strong woman berating you verbally turn you on? Do you like the idea of being tied down and rendered helpless, or whipped or spanked and otherwise left to the mercy of another person? \r\nIt seems like it might — at least a little bit — or you wouldn’t have clicked on this article, right? If so, there's a good chance that your sexual fantasies aren't exactly vanilla. Whether you've got a little (or gigantic) submissive streak, you're into some hardcore kinks, or you're not quite sure how to define it, but you know what turns you on, there's good news for you. \r\nThe good news is that dominatrices exist, and they're here to give you your every wish. I should know — I am one. We’re beautiful, well-trained, and willing to electrify you with a battery-operated device if you want us to. What’s not to like?\r\nRELATED: Never Have I Ever: Hired a Dominatrix\r\nBefore you actually hire a dominatrix to let you be her puny slave, however, there are a few things you should know to make sure things go smoothly for everybody involved:\r\n1. Do: Understand the Difference Between Different Types of Mistresses\r\nNot all dominatrices are the same — in terms of specialties, amount of experience (people aren’t born knowing how to properly do urethral sounding, OK?), what they’re willing to do, or where they work. It’s a good idea to know, for instance, the differences between a domme working in a dungeon and a domme who operates on her own.\r\nDungeons can be a great place to have a fantastic session, in particular because there’s more variety on offer. If you seek out hiring a pro domme who is independent (which basically means she’s operating outside of a dungeon, has her own dungeon, or rents out spaces in various dungeons) that usually means she’s worked in a dungeon (or various) for a while training and learning what works best for her.\r\nRELATED: The Top 10 Most Common Fetishes Out There\r\nIt’s important when choosing between an independent or a dungeon mistress to understand that dommes in the dungeons only make a portion of what you’re actually paying. If you’re paying $300, it’s possibly they’re only making $100 of that because the owner of the dungeon takes a cut to pay for the space and for coordinating the session.\r\n2. Don't: Try to Pay Without Tipping\r\nI don’t know who raised the men who haven’t tipped me before but let me just say dominatrices are providing a specialized service and you should tip them. If you hire an independent mistress who’s probably getting 100% of what you’re giving her, you should still tip her, but you should never ever go to a dungeon and not tip your mistress. \r\nRELATED: 9 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Trying Out Kink\r\nThat’s a great way to get blacklisted, basically — or, best-case scenario, that’s how you end up with nicknames like “Smelly Balls Steve” or “F*ckface Ballbuster.”\r\nYou should be tipping at least $75 a session, but that’s at minimum. If you’re asking for a woman to piss on your face or defecate on you or make you eat feces or semen or to give you permanent physical damage (I’ve had a man ask me to hit his testicles so hard that he wouldn’t be able have children) then you must tip a ton. It’s just disrespectful to not tip.\r\nRELATED: Three Super-Hot Sexual Fetishes Every Guy Should Try at Least Once \r\nWhen you go to a dungeon, you’re usually seeking some kind of fantasy fulfillment that your regular sex partners aren’t willing to give you or you’re too ashamed to ask of them. We, as mistresses, are your fantasy makers. We don’t end up covered in your blood and cum just to walk away making the bare minimum. Tip us — or you’re going to be left with marks when you specifically asked for “no marks”.\r\n3. Do: Know What You Want (Or Have an Open Mind)\r\nMy favorite client is one who is obviously just dedicated to their kink. It’s hot and it usually means they’re seriously into BDSM. If your thing is ballbusting and you know it, that’s great. That means less time talking and more time ballbusting.\r\nIf you are new to BDSM, that’s OK too. It’s fine to come into a dungeon with zero idea of what you actually might want but then come with an open mind. Clients who allow me to work with them and try out new things are so fun! Let me dress you up in a sissy session or make you kiss my feet with body worship or even better, let me tie you up and flog your ass till it bleeds. Either way, come in with an open mind or a clear idea.\r\n4. Don't: Be Too Ashamed to Ask for What You Want\r\nFor many dommes, a big pet peeve (outside of people that don’t tip, obviously) is people who come in with a very clear idea of what they want… yet during meets, refuse to actually vocalize it.\r\nRELATED: The Wildest Sexual Fetishes You've Never Heard Of Before\r\nDo not mumble to your domme; look her in the eyes and tell her what you want. No person wants to walk into a session and have no clue what’s going on. How are we supposed to be confident? How are we supposed to trust you? Here’s the thing: We don’t and won’t.\r\nIf you have a thing for being treated like a pony and having us ride you while hitting you with a riding crop, just tell us. Trust me, there’s nothing your domme hasn’t seen already. This is your moment! Don’t waste it on shame. Practice asking for what you want in a mirror beforehand if you need to.\r\n5. Do: Know If You Want a Switch or Dom Session\r\nMistresses are experts in all of BDSM, therefore many of us are willing to also be submissive for a specific set of clients who we deem trustworthy. Not every mistress is willing to do this, though, so it’s a special kind of session and due to that, you have to tip generously. This may seem obvious, but if you’re going into a session where you’re domming a mistress and know you’re most likely going to leave bruises, you must tip extra.\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Treat Sex Workers, Explained\r\nNot just a normal tip, like I mentioned earlier, but an out-of-this-world tip that could make up for any possible loss of work. Why do I mention loss of work? Because many clients don’t want mistresses who do switch sessions, and if they see bruises on them, they may not choose to session with them or tip them less. I’ve heard of clients who leave bruises who tip up to $1,000 to make up for loss of income. Not saying that’s necessary — but hey, a girl can dream of that perfect client someday.\r\n6. Don't: Confuse Dommes With Other Types of Sex Workers\r\nThis is something I’ve experienced often working in dungeons in NYC. Dungeons are legal in NYC, but many clients go to the dungeons seeking things of a more specific nature, such as handjobs, oral sex, or other things that aren’t within the job description of a dominatrix.\r\nYou’re putting the dominatrix and the establishment they’re working for on the line. There’s nothing wrong with seeking this kind of pleasure, but there are sex workers who specifically focus on those services. Dominatrixes focus on kink and roleplay fulfillment; we’re not here so you can get your dick sucked. If that’s what you’re interested in, seek other sex workers so they can make that money — and then you also don’t waste our time in the dungeon.\r\n7. Do: Communicate Your Boundaries Clearly Before, During and After\r\nClear communication around boundaries is vital to having a good session. A play session is just like any other sexual experience — you have to be consenting, and communication needs to be across the board for everyone.\r\nIf you don’t communicate with your domme, then you’re not going to have as great a time. If you don’t allow your domme to communicate with you, then it’s going to be difficult for her to feel she can trust you enough to have an enjoyable experience. We’re here, many of us, because we love kink and want to give it all in our sessions. We expect you to communicate with us so this can be a safe and fun experience.\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\nWhat’s It Like to Literally Get Electrified in the Bedroom?\r\n10 Freaky & Kinky Things She Wants You to Do in Bed\r\nSex Workers Reveal Weirdest Things They've Been Asked to Do", "keywords": "The, Dos, and, Donts, Hiring, Dominatrix", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/dominatrix/askmen-lead-image-template-1-1716396040.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/dominatrix.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-23 07:44:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "42390", "lang_id": "1", "title": "31 Secrets to Be a Seductress, their Biggest Traits & Reasons to Be One", "title_slug": "31-secrets-to-be-a-seductress-their-biggest-traits-reasons-to-be-one", "title_hash": "7276c05bf41c11b528bf940a110ba951", "summary": "A seductress is the epitome of sexiness. All women want to be her and all men want to be with her. Find out how to be a seductress in this guide.\nThe post 31 Secrets to Be a Seductress, their Biggest Traits & Reasons to Be One is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.", "content": "

A seductress is the epitome of sexiness. All women want to be her and all men want to be with her. Find out how to be a seductress in this guide.

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Knowing how to be a seductress is something all women want to be. But most women who want to be seductive overlook the thin line between crass and class. It feels nice to be desired by men, but it’s never a great way to get attention from the opposite sex by portraying yourself as a hooker on the sidewalk.

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While sexiness is almost always associated with revealing skin, there are far better ways to get attention and become a seductress, the discreet way. If you want to know how to be a seductress, you need to get a mind makeover with these points on becoming a sex goddess. [Read: Divine feminine energy: 21 secrets to control & manifest it in your love life]

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The Psychology Behind Seduction

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We’re going to let you in on a little secret: the allure of seductive women goes far beyond their glamorous appearances or the mystique of a perfectly timed smile. It’s deeply rooted in psychology.

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As we dive into the art of how to be a seductress, you’ll see that it’s as much about mastering the mind as it is about captivating the heart.

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As Robert Greene outlines in his book “The Art of Seduction,” seduction is an art form grounded in psychological persuasion. It’s about more than just an appealing glance or a suggestive comment, it’s about engaging with the deep-seated desires and emotions of others. [Read: What makes a man desire a woman sexually: The 35 not-so-obvious things]

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Knowing how to be a seductress means mastering the art of appeal that resonates on multiple levels, not just the physical.

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Seduction is also rooted in basic evolutionary psychology. Our brains are wired to seek and choose mates who display qualities like confidence, charisma, and the ability to influence. [Read: 31 Secrets to be charismatic & awe and draw people to you in a snap]

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These traits signal more than just social dominance or resourcefulness; they suggest a person who can navigate and enhance social interactions effectively, making them highly attractive.

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Therefore, being seductive isn’t just about attracting attention. It involves a sophisticated blend of emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills. A true seductress excels in reading emotional cues and crafting connections that are both meaningful and compelling.

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The Appeal of a Seductive Woman

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If you’re thinking, “No, I don’t want to be seen as seductive,” allow us to give you a few compelling reasons why you might reconsider. Here are six reasons why embracing your seductive side could be a game-changer:

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1. Enhanced Social Influence

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A seductive woman often holds significant influence. By mastering the art of seduction, you can shape outcomes and sway decisions subtly and effectively, which is a powerful tool in both personal and professional spheres.

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2. Empowered Self-Perception

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Embracing seductive traits can boost your self-confidence. When you feel powerful and in control, that confidence is visible to others and influences how you navigate every interaction.

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3. Mastery of Social Situations

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Seductive women are usually great at reading the room. Their ability to pick up on subtle cues allows them to respond appropriately, making them excellent at managing and steering social interactions. [Read: Social butterfly: How to be one, and pros & cons of being outgoing and friendly]

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4. Historical and Cultural Iconicity

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Throughout history, seductive figures have left their mark not just for their beauty, but for their strategic minds and the power they wielded. From Cleopatra to modern celebrities, they show how seduction can be a path to influence and status.

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5. Psychological Leverage

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Understanding what makes others tick and responding in a way that meets deep emotional needs can make seductive individuals particularly persuasive and appealing.

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6. Enhanced Relationships

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Seduction is a powerful tool that extends beyond initial attraction, playing a crucial role in deepening and enriching romantic relationships. By being attentive, engaging, and genuinely interested, you foster a connection that can make your partner feel valued and understood.

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Whether it’s through thoughtful gestures, flirtatious banter, or shared moments of vulnerability, each element adds a layer to the relationship that keeps the passion alive. [Read: Passionate love: What it is, the signs & why it’s so strong & scary]

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How to be a Seductress and a Sex Goddess

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To understand how to be a seductress in a sexy and yet discreet way, you need to pay attention to your bedroom lessons. You can’t really be a seductress when you’re still an amateur in bed. It defies the whole point of being a seductress or a sex goddess. [Read: How to be good in bed all the time]

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The easy part of becoming a seductress is your bedroom lessons. The tricky part is knowing how to evoke the same sexual excitement from men when you’re not bouncing over them in bed.

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Understand that part, and you’re well on your way to becoming a sexy seductress who can wrap any man around her pinky, even when you’re not trying to impress a man.

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Here are a few tips that can help you make a difference in the right direction and become the sexy seductress you’ve always wanted to be.

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1. Learn to be Two Faced

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When you’re at work, be serious and focus on climbing that next elusive rung of the corporate ladder. You don’t need to pretend to be a dumb bimbette to get attention from a hot guy.

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Men try to use women who they assume are dumb or easy to get. You, on the other hand, are going to be a seductress, one who’s desired by all and one who’s never easy to get. [Read: 32 secrets to play hard to get with a guy selectively & leave him smitten]

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A sexy woman who doesn’t flirt at work may deflate the hearts of many men. But it’ll also make them desire you, admire you and take sneaky glances at you while you’re working.

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As soon as the work is over, loosen your collar, take your jacket off and let your hair down in style, especially when there are men around. Pretend like you haven’t notice any men ogling you. [Read: How to turn a man on]

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Men find nothing sexier than a woman who can transform from an inhibiting closed-up woman by day end to a sexy and radiant seductress who smiles and flirts with the men around and suddenly transforms herself into a burst of fresh and flirty energy. Ever seen those sexy transforming teachers, nuns and nurses in those axe ads? That’s exactly what men want!

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Men love a sexy transformation! Reveal your two extreme sides, the workaholic and the sexy girl alter ego and you’ll have a hoard of men craning around your office door every evening. [Read: How to look sexy without trying]

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2. Show Skin and Play Coy

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Every once in a while, when you’re bending low to pick something up or walking on a street wearing a slightly revealing top, use the coy flasher move to win a guy’s heart.

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When you walk up to talk to a guy, take a second to “discreetly” adjust your bra strap or bend low to adjust your heel. Now any guy who’s into women would involuntarily try to take a peek.

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Now, you don’t even need to adjust anything if you’re wearing something that leaves a bit of room for a peek now and then. But just as he sees it, catch him in the act and cover yourself up in a cute and obvious manner.

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To make this easy seductress move work, show skin and cover it back up with a shy, mischievous smile and a line like ‘oops… you shouldn’t have seen that!’

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By doing that, you’re letting him know that you’re okay with him taking a little peep, and you’re also smiling mysteriously which leaves him wondering about the awkward moment. But if you do give him a sexy flirty smile, that moment will go straight into his sexy thoughts for a lonely night. [Read: Why do guys stare at girls?]

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3. Create Your Own Sexy Expressions

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Expressions are everything, and it can make all the difference between a seductress and an ugly duckling. If you want to know how to be a seductress, work on your sexy expressions. [Read: How to get a guy to like you]

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You may have to spend a few weeks on this but when you do master this art the right way, you’d find men waiting to have a conversation with you no matter where you go.

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Whenever you find a bit of time in your hands, stand in front of a mirror and watch your own expressions, be it a smile, a laugh or even a frown and a grimace. Do you like the way your face looks when you wink or smile mischievously?

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Some of the sexiest seductresses may have been born with perfect smiles and cute winks, but in almost all cases, it took a lot of practicing in front of the mirror.

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Create your own sexy expressions, the thinking expression with a pen in your lip, the mischievous expression with a slight tilt of your neck, the funny one with a cute laugh, the sexy one with a discreet lick on the corner of your lip, and all the other ones including a huffy and a bossy one. And use it! [Read: What men like in women more than anything else]

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While the first three steps are the most obvious and the most sexy, you do need to work on a few subtle signs to be a real sex goddess. Every man wants to be with a sex goddess and every woman wants to be one. But then, who is a sex goddess really, and what makes her so different from the others?

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A sex goddess knows her way around her bedroom, but it doesn’t just end there. Really, you can’t just sleep with every man to prove that you have what it takes to achieve a sex goddess status. And all women who have been crowned sex goddesses didn’t really sleep with all the men. [Read: Easy lay: Things that makes guys think you’re easy to sleep with]

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So obviously, it takes more than just bedroom manners to really understand how to be a sex goddess. Here are a few subtle details that you should use to attain a sex goddess status, without always taking a man to bed.

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4. Work on Your Dressing Style

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What you wear plays a big part in being a sexy seductress.

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Contrary to popular belief, a sex goddess doesn’t need a push up bra and three inches of cleavage popping out of her shirt all the time, nor does she have to wear a skirt that rides up every five minutes, well, unless you want to make it obvious that Gabrielle Solis is your role model.

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To be a real sex goddess in a mysterious way, don’t wear revealing clothes all the time. You’d only end up making your girlfriends bitch about you or feel insecure around their own men.

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And what’s worse, by wearing revealing clothes all the time, you’re letting the world know that you want to show your assets off in a very obvious manner to just about anyone who has a pair of ogling eyes. [Read: Should you wear revealing clothes in office?]

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To create an aura of a desirable sex goddess, wear clothes that seem innocent but are intentionally promiscuous. White tight shirts, well fitting jeans that show off your curves and flimsy tees that hug your bosoms can make you look a lot more attractive because it leaves a lot to the imagination without revealing anything.

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If you want to be a sex goddess, don’t ever dress down in baggy overalls, even if you’re gardening or cooking. Always look sexy and glamorous no matter what you’re doing.

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Wear snug, pretty clothes that make you look sexy and attractive. A little bit of skin is always exciting though, just as long as it isn’t screaming ‘look-at-me!’ [Read: How to look sexy while sleeping with a man]

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5. Touch and Talk to a Man

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The manner in which you talk to a man too has a lot to do with attaining your sex goddess status. The next time you have a conversation with a man, touch him now and then on his arms or back as you talk to him.

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Don’t make it obvious that you’re trying hard to touch him. Instead, play it calm and use an excuse to gently graze your palm against his arm while pointing at something.

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Or if he’s reading out a few lines from a book or a piece of paper, walk up to him really close and pretend like you’re interested in reading it too. And while you’re at it, gently place your hand on his back or on his shoulder or graze your breast on his back, by accident, of course! [Read: How to flirt with a guy without making it obvious]

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No guy can really assume you’re hitting on him just because you’re “accidentally” placing your hands on him. But at the same time, that lingering touch would make him crave for many more unintentional touches from you.

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6. Compliment a Man With Your Eyes

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One of the easiest ways to attract a man’s attention and become a sex goddess is by learning to compliment a guy the right way.

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Compliment a guy when you like something about him, but when it’s just the both of you, compliment him on something that’s below his neck, or something that borders on sexual flirting.

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“My… that’s a sexy butt!” can seem funny, but any guy can tell you that it’ll leave him feeling great about it. By learning to compliment a man with humor and lacing it with sex, you’ll get any guy to start fantasizing about you and hoping for better things with you. [Read: What guys always notice in a girl]

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7. Don’t be Overly Cute

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If you want to know how to be a sex goddess, you really need to lose the goody two shoes image. Don’t pretend to be dumb and don’t try to behave in a girlish or childish manner.

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By appearing to be a lot more fun and chirpy, you may make it easier for guys to approach you. But you have to remember that guys approach girls when they feel confident to talk to them.

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A happy girl is easy to talk to. But a sex goddess who’s desired by all men also makes most men get a heavy lump on their throat when she walks past them.

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So, if you want to be a desirable sex goddess, you need to be sexy, and lose the cute girl tag. Of course, you can act cute though, just as long as you still remember to do it in a sexy manner! [Read: Cute vs. hot: Unique traits that make a girl very sexy or very adorable]

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Be calm and composed when you’re with a guy, and try to breathe rather deeply and heavily when you’re with someone you want to impress.

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Don’t make it obvious though, and try to behave like you normally do. When you take deeper breaths, your curves naturally accentuate your sexy body and make you look a lot sexier and desirable. [Read: How to dress for sex]

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8. Be Confident in Bed

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Sex goddesses know more about what excites men in bed than the men themselves! So do your homework and be aware of your moves.

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When you know what to do in bed, it makes you feel a lot more confident when you’re spending a night with a man, or having a conversation that’ll eventually lead to spending a night with him.

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Understand a man’s erogenous zones, and use your lips or your hands where it matters. To be a seductress, you need to feel sexy and be sexy. And if you want to be all that in bed, you need to do your homework. [Read: How to make out like a sex goddess]

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9. Leave a Lasting Scent

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Perfume isn’t just about smelling good; it’s about leaving a memorable impression that lingers even after you’ve left the room. Choose a fragrance that complements your natural scent and apply it to pulse points like your wrists, neck, and behind your ears.

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These spots heat up naturally, diffusing the fragrance subtly throughout the day or evening. When engaging in close conversations, the warmth of your body will release the scent, creating an intimate and almost irresistible attraction.

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Imagine leaning in to whisper something to a man, letting the soft whispers of your perfume mix with your words. This not only marks your presence but also makes the interaction uniquely memorable, making him long for the next encounter. [Read: How to smell good: 25 secrets to attract anyone with your delicious scent]

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10. Use the Power of Listening

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To be a true seductress, harness the power of being a great listener. While it’s tempting to dominate the conversation with your charm, sometimes the most seductive thing you can do is listen.

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Nod thoughtfully, maintain eye contact, and respond with insights that show you really understand. By doing this, you create a connection that makes the other person feel special and heard, which is incredibly attractive.

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It’s about making them feel like they’re the only person in the room, boosting their confidence and drawing them deeper into your allure.

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11. Triangle Method Eye Contact

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Marilyn Monroe famously used eye contact to captivate her audience, and the Triangle Method is a subtle yet powerful tool in this art.

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When talking to someone you’re interested in, let your gaze gently drift between their left eye, right eye, and then down to their mouth, creating a triangular path.

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This pattern of looking suggests intimacy and can create a sense of closeness and connection. It’s especially potent during flirtatious conversations, as it not only communicates your interest but also invites them to gaze back into your eyes, deepening the moment of attraction.

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12. Playful Teasing

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Teasing is a time-tested method in the art of seduction. It involves playful banter and light, humorous exchanges that challenge and entice the other person. By teasing someone, you engage their mind and emotions, sparking both attraction and interest.

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Keep your tone light and avoid sensitive topics. The goal is to make them smile and provoke a bit of excitement. This dynamic can quickly turn a mundane interaction into an intriguing game of verbal flirtation. [Read: The 30 best subtle, obvious & really sexy flirting tips for girls]

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13. Strategic Pauses in Conversation

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Silence can be just as powerful as words when used correctly. Introduce strategic pauses in your conversations to create anticipation and intrigue. When you pause right after making a point or asking a question, it gives the other person a moment to ponder and hang on your next words.

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It builds a sort of suspense that can heighten interest and attention towards you. It’s not just about what you say, but how you pace your dialogue to keep them captivated.

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14. Avoid Word Vomiting

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One effective way to cultivate an air of seduction is through the strategic use of mystery in conversation. Avoiding word vomiting—overloading your partner with too much information at once—naturally contributes to this sense of intrigue. By choosing your words carefully and sharing just enough to keep your partner intrigued, you invite them to lean in and engage more deeply. [Read: How to be mysterious & leave everyone smitten and craving for more]

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Holding back certain details or stories not only keeps the conversation flowing but also gives your partner space to inquire further, fostering a dynamic of mutual discovery. It’s about teasing out information slowly and deliberately, which can make every interaction feel like a new layer is being unveiled.

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Moreover, when you speak less but with more intent, you appear more thoughtful and composed. This can significantly heighten your allure as it leaves your partner wondering about your thoughts and feelings, enhancing your mysterious aura.

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15. Mirroring Body Language

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Mirroring is a psychological tactic where you subtly copy the body language of the person you’re talking to. If they lean in, you lean in; if they gesture with their hands, you do the same.

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This technique signals alignment and agreement, making the other person feel more at ease and connected to you. It shows empathy and understanding without words, enhancing the sense of mutual attraction and rapport.

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Characteristics of a Seductive Woman

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Wondering what makes a seductive woman so magnetic? We’ve cracked the code for you. Here’s the ultimate guide to the traits that elevate your seductive prowess, so you can channel your inner Marilyn Monroe and captivate any room you walk into.

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1. Confidence

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It’s all about owning your space. A seductive woman walks into a room and her presence is immediately felt. She’s sure of herself and her abilities, which radiates outward, drawing others in. This isn’t about being loud or brash, it’s a quiet certainty that speaks volumes. [Read: How to be confident when flirting: Overcome the butterflies and have fun]

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2. Mystery

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Keep them guessing just a little. We already said it, and we will say it again: seduction involves maintaining a delicate balance of reveal and conceal. It’s not about being an open book on the first read. Leave some chapters to the imagination, sparking curiosity and drawing others to seek more.

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3. Emotional Intelligence

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This is your superpower. Understanding and navigating your own emotions and those of others allows you to create deeper, more meaningful connections.

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A seductress is adept at feeling the emotional temperature of a conversation and adjusting her approach accordingly.

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4. Authenticity

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Be real, always. Authenticity is irresistible and lies at the heart of true seduction. It’s about being genuine in your intentions and actions, never sacrificing who you are but adapting how you present yourself in different situations.

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5. Charm

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Your secret ingredient. This involves being pleasant, likable, and engaging in interactions. Charm is about making others feel comfortable and valued in your presence, which is inherently seductive. [Read: How to be charming: Adorable habits of really likable people]

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6. Wit

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A sharp mind is sexy. Being able to banter, throw in a clever remark, or introduce a fresh perspective shows intelligence and thoughtfulness. It’s not just about making someone laugh, it’s about showing them there’s depth to your allure.

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7. Sensitivity

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Tune in to the needs of others. A seductive woman can sense when to offer comfort or when to challenge someone, making her both a confidant and a catalyst for personal growth in others’ eyes.

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8. Adaptability

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Life’s a dance, and a seductive woman knows the steps. Whether it’s changing plans last minute or switching up conversation topics, being flexible shows that you’re easy-going and unfazed by life’s curveballs.

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9. Passion

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Show what drives you. Passion is infectious and shows that you have things in your life that spark your soul. This could be your career, hobbies, or causes you care about. People are drawn to those who have ambitions and pursue them fervently.

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10. Style

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The visual cue. Your style should reflect your personality and make you feel confident. Whether it’s a classic, bold, or eclectic look, a seductive woman uses her style as an extension of her identity, enhancing her natural allure. [Read: The clothes make the girl: Tips to get you looking your best]

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Find Your Unique Style of Allure

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We want to make it clear that embracing your seductive side doesn’t mean you have to be someone else. You’ll only look and feel your best when you’re true to yourself, enhancing your natural qualities rather than adopting a facade. Find your unique style of allure and own it confidently. [Read: 55 secrets & self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

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A sex goddess is suave, sexy, and desired by all men. Use these tips on how to be a seductress and become the woman that all women want to be and all men want to be with!

The post 31 Secrets to Be a Seductress, their Biggest Traits & Reasons to Be One is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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The walk of shame is every girl’s nightmare of a morning after. Use these tips to make your walk of shame feel more respectable and less insulting.

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If you’re a girl who likes living on the fun side of Saturday night, then the early morning walk of shame on a Sunday morning might be all too familiar. Hey, you’ve probably been there often too. What’s life without a bit of wild fun now and then, right? We don’t stay young forever.

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Perhaps, someday you young things will start to get bored of these mindless sexy nights.

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But that’s not today.

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As embarrassing as the walk of shame may be, it’s almost always worth it. Unless you’ve shacked up with a guy who’s so embarrassing that you’d want to get swallowed into oblivion. [Read: The right way to hook up with a guy you like]

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The Walk of Shame

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The walk of shame almost always captures attention. Imagine the scene: as joggers and morning walkers fill the streets, there you are in your eye-catching skirt that might feel a bit out of place at this hour, your steps slightly staggered, and mascara perhaps not as perfect as it was the night before.

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The walk of shame not only draws curious glances but also the stares of women and the less welcome drools and catcalls from men. Indeed, it’s annoying. Yet, it’s only insulting if you allow it to be.

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This heightened awareness often triggers a psychological response known as projection. You might start to believe that everyone on the street knows exactly why you’re dressed up at such an early hour.

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It stems from a common cognitive bias where we assume others share the same knowledge we do, particularly when we’re self-conscious or anxious. [Read: Anxious personality: Reasons to date an anxious person]

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Psychologists refer to this as the “spotlight effect,” where we overestimate how much our actions and appearance are noticed by others.

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So while you might feel like your night is written all over your face, in reality, most passersby are likely wrapped up in their own thoughts and routines, paying less attention to you than you might think.

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The walk of shame doesn’t necessarily need to be a cringe-worthy experience. In fact, you’ve probably managed several walks from someone’s place the next morning, expertly masking the fact that you’re right in the middle of a classic walk of shame.

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How to Own the Walk of Shame with Confidence

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If you want to hide the fact that you’re walking back home after shaking the bed with a guy all night, in attire that’s bare minimum and definitely inappropriate for an early morning, just use these easy tips. It’ll make that walk of shame easier to handle, and you’ll feel great about yourself too.

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1. Better Safe Than Sorry

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As exciting as going home with a perfect stranger may be, avoid it. It’s just not worth the risk. He could turn out to be a serial killer.

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If you have no idea about a guy or if none of your friends know anything about him, completely avoid the idea of letting him take you home, especially if you’ve had one too many shooters at the club.

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Expect your friends to do you a favor and hold you back when they think you’re going home with the wrong guy. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules to remember]

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2. Don’t Sneak Out in the Morning

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Sneaking out in the morning may work in the movies, but it’s not a nice thing to do in real life. Firstly, it makes you feel like a whore working on a timer. Secondly, it makes you feel more insulted and ashamed about the whole one night stand thing.

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Wake him up if you’re up early and he seems like a nice guy, or prod him with a stick and tell him you’re leaving.

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3. It’s Okay to be Late

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Never rush out early in the morning. It may feel like the right thing to do, but it never is. You may be late for a prior appointment. But spend a few minutes to compose yourself and collect whatever you’ve dropped behind in his place. [Read: Quick & easy morning routines to jumpstart a great day]

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If you leave in a hurried confusion, you’d be more disoriented than you can imagine. Spending fifteen minutes more in his place is better than walking out like a disheveled prostitute after a busy night.

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4. Carry a Few Basic Essentials

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Your basic essentials are like condoms. You may not have sex every night, but you still make sure you carry it, just in case. Just like a condom, there are a few things you need to carry with you to a party, just in case you hook up with a cute guy you fancy.

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Carry a jacket or a coat, enough money to pay for a cab *plastic is no good here*, a pair of sunglasses and your essential minimal makeup. It’ll make your morning walk of shame easier and well concealed.

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5. Keep Your Essentials Handy

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Apart from carrying a few basic essentials, make sure they are easily accessible. Organize your essentials like your phone, wallet, and keys in a small, light bag that won’t be a hassle to carry. [Read: 27 subtle ways to be more graceful & elegant with your body & behavior]

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This prevents any fumbling around, which can be particularly awkward or frustrating on a walk of shame. It’s all about minimizing stress and maximizing efficiency.

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6. Spend a Few Minutes in the Bathroom

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This is important. I’m not a morning person, but I do have regular morning routines. Don’t be in a hurry to leave. If you think the guy you left in bed is embarrassing, wait till you walk out on a busy street in your worst bed head look.

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Always spend a few minutes in the bathroom to clean yourself up for an as-fresh-as-possible morning look. Use your finger to brush your teeth, untangle your hair, splash some water on your face, dab on some makeup and cover up any smudges. You’ll look a lot better when you’re walking down the street.

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7. Call a Cab

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If the guy seems nice, ask him to drive you home if it’s not an inconvenience. No nice guy will decline it. But if he’s too drunk to remember your name or if he isn’t moving, call a friend who lives close by and ask them to pick you up. You could always make it up to your friend by returning the favor. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]

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8. Tell Him Exactly How You Feel

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Okay, so you’ve spent the night with a guy. Are you happy about it or are you annoyed with yourself? If you don’t want to see him again or if you want to erase the earlier night from your memory, drop a few hints to let him know about it.

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No matter how you feel, make sure you tell the guy about it, be it a happy feeling or otherwise. One night stands have a way of making us feel like we have unfinished business.

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And if you don’t tell the guy exactly what’s on your mind, you may end up walking down the street with your hands over your face wondering how to get through the whole ordeal. [Read: Is it okay for a drunk girlfriend to kiss another guy?]

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9. Don’t be Ashamed

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You had sex the earlier night. You go, girl! That’s a great thing you did. You had a wild night and you had fun. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

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A walk of shame is shameful only if you feel ashamed about it. Lift your chin up, smile radiantly, and walk down the street with your head held high. [Read: How to look sexy without trying]

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10. Plan Your Outfit

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If you anticipate the morning-after walk of shame, think about packing a portable, versatile outfit that can easily fit into a small bag. Choosing an outfit that’s both comfortable for the evening and appropriate for daylight hours can save you from feeling out of place the next morning. [Read: 44 outfit tips & secrets on what to wear on a first date for girls & guys]

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This doesn’t mean sacrificing your style but rather adapting it to blend seamlessly from night to morning. It’s all about feeling good in what you wear, whenever you wear it.

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11. Choose Comfortable Footwear

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Opting for comfortable footwear can also make your walk of shame significantly more bearable. If you’re heading out for a night that might end in a walk of shame, consider packing a pair of foldable flats or lightweight sneakers that can easily fit into your bag.

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Wearing heels all night and then trying to walk home in them can be painful and impractical. Switching to comfortable shoes not only eases your walk but also helps you maintain a steady pace and confident posture.

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12. Stay Hydrated

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Keeping a small bottle of water with you can be a lifesaver during a walk of shame. Staying hydrated helps you look and feel refreshed, even if you’ve had a long night out.

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Drinking water can also help clear your head, making your journey back home more bearable and helping you maintain a positive attitude throughout the walk. Remember, it’s not just about the walk but how you feel during it.

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13. Have a Friend on Standby

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Having a friend you can call during your walk of shame can make a big difference. Whether it’s to chat while you walk or have them ready to pick you up if you feel unsafe, knowing someone is there for you can provide a great sense of comfort.

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This person acts as your safety net, giving you that extra bit of confidence to stride home with your head held high. [Read: True friendship: 37 real friend traits & what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

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14. Refresh with Facial Wipes

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Carry a pack of facial wipes, and trust us on this one. They’re not just for removing makeup, they can help refresh your face after a night out, giving you a cleaner, more awake appearance.

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It’s a quick fix that can make you feel more presentable and less like you’ve just rolled out of bed *you know, with the smudged mascara and all*. A simple wipe down can lift your spirits and your look.

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15. Acknowledge Your Feelings

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Before you even start your walk of shame, take a moment to acknowledge how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling good about the night before, carry that positivity with you.

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If you’re feeling uneasy, remind yourself that this walk is just a small moment in time. By addressing your feelings directly, you can manage them more effectively, ensuring that your walk of shame is as dignified as possible.

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It’s a Walk of Shame Only If You Allow it to Be

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And perhaps you should remember this. All the others who stare at you when you’re walking down the street fell asleep with their fingers for company. All the girls secretly envy you. All the guys secretly wish they could have spent the night with you.

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Now how on earth can that ever be a walk of shame? [Read: Easy ways to get an attractive friend to have sex with you]

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So the next time you’re lying in a guy’s bed the morning after and wondering how to get back to your place, just remember these tips. It’ll definitely make your walk of shame a lot less insulting and a lot more respectable.

The post Walk of Shame: What Makes It Awkward & 15 Secrets to Own It with Confidence is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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There are many things that make a girl dateable, but what are the most important points? What makes that special girl stand out for you?

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Every single person on this planet is different. That means a myriad of options when it comes to choosing who to spend time with and, if that person wants the same things as you, who to date. Have you ever considered the things that make a girl dateable or off the table for you?

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You might think that dating is a pretty horrible experience. Instead of looking for someone who you think is your type, why not consider key traits when it comes to choosing who to date?

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Don’t say they must have a certain type of dress sense or a certain build or body type, and instead focus on the personality traits that allow you to get along well. Then, build a potential dating future together.

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Let’s be honest, looks might be useful at the start, but you can’t have a conversation with how someone looks! For that reason, look at traits and ways a person interacts with others. You’ll find that dating actually becomes far easier as a result. [Read: These are the types of girls you should avoid dating at all costs]

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The Psychology of Attraction

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Like we said, every single person on this planet is different, and nowhere is this more evident than in the wild world of attraction. It’s like walking into an ice cream shop – some of us beeline for classic vanilla, while others can’t resist the allure of rocky road.

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Picture this: One person’s dream date is a girl who’s a book-loving, cat-cuddling introvert, while another is head-over-heels for an adrenaline-junkie who’s the life of the party. [Read: Fun secrets to be the life of the party & be noticed and loved by everyone]

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Why such a stark contrast? Well, our brains are wired uniquely, shaped by a cocktail of genetics, brain chemistry, and, let’s not forget, a dash of mystery. Our individual experiences, right from childhood, start sketching our ‘type.’ It’s like each experience adds a new flavor to our dating preference palate.

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Now, let’s add another layer to this dating cake – our social and cultural background. If you’ve grown up in a culture that idolizes academic achievement, you might find intelligence irresistibly sexy. Or, if your social circle values adventure and spontaneity, you might be drawn to someone who’s always up for a last-minute road trip.

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These cultural and social influences are like the seasoning that flavors our idea of what makes a girl dateable.

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On one hand, we’ve got some near-universal factors – think of them as the base ingredients of attraction. These might include physical appearance, a sense of humor, or a kind heart. But then, there’s the personal spice mix – the unique set of qualities that each person finds irresistible in a girl.

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For one, it might be her ability to debate politics without losing her cool. For another, it’s her talent in creating beautiful art.

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These are the Things That Make a Girl Dateable and Oh-So-Special

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If you’ve been stumbling around the dating pool, trying to find a lovely lady to spend your time with, why not consider that you’ve approached it the wrong way too? Let’s look at a few things that make a girl dateable and help you create your own wishlist.

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1. She is Humble

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Someone who is humble is a far better person to have a conversation with than the total opposite. The ability to admit when she’s wrong, not overly arrogant, and a girl who is down to earth.

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What could be better than that? That is certainly one of the things that make a girl dateable! [Read: Wife material: 38 signs she’s a keeper & you’d be lucky to marry her!]

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2. She Has a Voice and Her Own Opinions

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There’s nothing more frustrating than someone who constantly wavers or has no firm opinions of their own. If you find a girl who confidently expresses her own voice and opinions, you’ve struck gold.

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This means she possesses conviction and a strong sense of self, qualities that are not only admirable but also vital for a healthy, engaging relationship. Her ability to articulate her thoughts and stand by them shows she’s not one to just go with the flow without question. It’s a testament to her strength and independence.

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3. She is Confident, but not Overly So

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A girl who carries herself with just the right amount of confidence is irresistible. This is one of the things which makes a girl dateable, for sure. A kind of quiet confidence and the ability to carry herself with grace through all situations. [Read: How to tell if someone is a narcissist and recognize them instantly]

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4. She Has Dreams and Aims

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Choose a girl who is working on her future. Hopefully, if you hit it off, she will allow you to be a part of those aims she is working towards. A girl with an aim and a dream is a strong and independent girl.

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What’s more attractive than a woman who has her eyes on her goals and dreams and has plans on how to get there? This kind of ambition shows she’s self-driven, resilient, and capable of facing challenges head-on.

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It’s inspiring to be around someone who is passionate and determined, as it can motivate you to pursue your own dreams with the same fervor. Plus, her independence means she values herself and her aspirations, which is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship.

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5. She is Respectful of Others and Respects Herself

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T is vital in any relationship. Now, if you find a girl who not only respects those around her but also has the strength to respect herself, you’ve found one of the things that make a girl dateable in a big, big way.

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6. She Has a Wicked Sense of Humor

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There are only so many deep and meaningful conversations you can have. You need someone who knows how to laugh and crack a joke. A girl with a wicked and keen sense of humor is a great girl to know.

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7. She is Willing to Laugh at Herself

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There is no need to take life seriously all the time. One of the things that makes a girl dateable is the ability to laugh at herself and make a fool of herself without feeling embarrassed about it. This is a girl you’ll have fun with! [Read: Qualities of a good woman every man should look out for]

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8. She is Independent

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Whether she takes her cue from Beyonce or not, an independent girl is irresistible and a force to be reckoned with.

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If she spends time with you, it’s not because she needs you, it’s because she wants you. Now, that’s quite the confidence booster.

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9. She Has Empathy for Others

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A girl who can show empathy to other people and really put herself in the shoes of those around her is a beautiful girl to know. Empathy is a trait that is required in all relationships and life in general.

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This is one of those other things that make a girl dateable because why wouldn’t you want to be with someone who understands and shares your feelings, and can offer genuine support during tough times?

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An empathetic person creates a nurturing and compassionate environment, which is essential for a strong and lasting relationship. [Read: How to tell if someone doesn’t have empathy and what you should do]

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10. She’s Compassionate

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Speaking of empathy, she’s also deeply compassionate. While empathy is about feeling what others feel, compassion takes it a step further – it’s about taking action to alleviate someone’s suffering. This subtle but significant difference shines through in everything she does.

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She’s the type you’ll find feeding stray cats and dogs, her heart moved by their plight, her actions geared toward making a small but meaningful difference in their lives.

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Her compassion isn’t just limited to animals. It extends to the people around her too. She’s the one offering a listening ear to a friend in distress or volunteering her time for causes she believes in. Her kindness isn’t just a passive feeling. It’s an active force, propelling her to make the world a little better, one small act at a time.

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11. She Has a Life of Her Own and Wants You to Have Yours Too

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A clingy girl isn’t the ideal girl to date. But a girl with a life of her own and one who wants you to have your own space and your own life outside of the relationship is ideal. This means your relationship will be able to grow without petty arguments and lack of space. [Read: Ways to give space in a relationship & feel closer than ever before]

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12. She Doesn’t Care What Other People Think About Her

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A girl who doesn’t care what others think about her is like a breath of fresh air in a world where many are constantly trying to fit in. She’s not swayed by the latest trends or opinions; she’s steadfast in her individuality. Her authenticity isn’t just refreshing; it’s downright captivating.

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One of the most appealing aspects of this trait is her lack of interest in being a people pleaser. You know, the kind who always says ‘yes’ even when they want to say ‘no’, or changes their opinion to match the crowd? That’s not her. She’s comfortable in her skin, standing her ground with grace and confidence.

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This doesn’t mean she’s confrontational or indifferent to others. On the contrary, she’s considerate and kind, but she doesn’t compromise her values or beliefs to gain approval.

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Being with a girl like this means you’re in for a genuine relationship. There are no pretenses, no masks. She’s not trying to impress anyone, so what you see is what you get. [Read: Feisty girl: 35 personality traits that make her so scarily sexy!]

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13. She Isn’t Superficial and Uses her Brain

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A girl who isn’t superficial and values intelligence brings so much more to the table. Imagine having someone who can challenge you intellectually, who can switch from discussing the latest scientific discoveries to debating the best strategy in a board game.

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It’s not just about having deep, philosophical conversations under the stars; it’s also about those moments when you’re both trying to solve a crossword puzzle and end up in fits of laughter over a silly mistake.

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This kind of girl keeps you on your toes – in a good way. With her, you’re not just scrolling through social media profiles, admiring filtered photos.

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You’re engaging in real, meaningful dialogue. Whether it’s over coffee discussing the latest book she’s read or a heated but friendly debate about which superhero would win in a fight, every conversation is a journey of discovery. [Read: Witty banter: What it is & secrets to talk witty & make people laugh]

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14. She Doesn’t Judge Others

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Okay, no lie, we’re all judgmental from time to time. It’s like a reflex, sometimes involuntary, a quick judgment here, a little eyebrow raise there.

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But, if you encounter a girl who generally steers clear of this habit and embraces acceptance, you’ve stumbled upon something special.

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This girl, with her heart of gold, isn’t just refraining from judgment; she’s genuinely curious and open to understanding people’s unique stories and backgrounds. She listens, not to reply, but to understand. Her approach to people is like an explorer in a new land, eager to learn and experience different cultures, ideas, and perspectives.

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What makes this quality even more endearing is how it affects those around her. In her presence, you find the walls of your own judgments crumbling. You start seeing people not for what you’ve been conditioned to believe but for who they truly are.

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15. She Knows How to Have Fun

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Relationships should be fun too! If you find a girl who knows how to have fun in quirky and enjoyable ways, get to know her ASAP! [Read: Cheerful ways to be the fun partner in your relationship]

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16. She’s a Good Listener

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You might not think this is a crucial trait at first, but have you ever tried talking to someone and it felt like you’re talking to a rock?

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It’s like throwing your thoughts into a void where they just vanish without impact. In stark contrast, a girl who’s a good listener transforms every conversation into a meaningful exchange, making you feel heard and understood.

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This active listening is an art and a sign of deep respect. It’s as if she’s not just listening to your words, but also tuning into your emotions, reading between the lines of what you’re saying and what you’re not.

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In her presence, you never have to battle for attention or feel like your words are falling on deaf ears. Instead, you find a thoughtful, engaging partner who makes every conversation not just a dialogue, but a connection.

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17. She’s Passionate About Her Hobbies

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A girl with hobbies is an interesting girl, no doubt about it. Her hobbies paint a picture of who she is beyond the usual surface-level interactions.

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Her enthusiasm for her interests does more than just add to her charm; it reveals a person who isn’t afraid to dive deep into what she loves, showing a dedication and zest for life that’s both inspiring and captivating. [Read: How to be more interesting: 21 tricks to go from boring to lovable!]

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Whether she’s meticulously brushing paint onto a canvas or scaling a rugged cliff, her commitment to her hobbies speaks volumes about her character. It shows she’s not just content with the mundane but seeks out and revels in experiences that enrich her life.

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18. She Balances Seriousness with Playfulness

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She can be the rainbow to your cloudiest days, bringing color and laughter when you need it most. Her playfulness is like a spark that can light up any room, making even the mundane moments feel like a spontaneous adventure.

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Yet, you know you can sit and talk to her about the most serious issues on your mind, finding in her a grounded and understanding confidante.

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This blend of light-heartedness and gravity in her personality makes her a unique partner. She’s not just someone who can joke around and make you laugh; she’s also a pillar of strength and wisdom when life calls for seriousness.

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19. She’s Intellectually Curious

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Always keen to learn, whether it’s a new book, podcast, or documentary, her desire to understand the world makes her endlessly fascinating and helps foster deep, meaningful conversations. [Read: 84 intellectual, deep conversation starters & topics to bond with anyone]

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20. She Has Integrity

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She’s steadfast in her principles and values, unwavering even in the face of challenges. Why does this matter, you ask? Well, integrity isn’t just about being honest; it’s the backbone of her character, the foundation upon which trust is built in a relationship.

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It means you can rely on her, not just for the big promises, but for the everyday assurances that fortify a relationship. Her commitment to her values shows in her actions, not just her words, ensuring that you have a partner who is consistent and dependable.

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21. She’s Emotionally Mature

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She navigates the complexities of her emotions with a wisdom that’s both admirable and rare.

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Think about it – do you really want to date someone who’s a slave to every passing mood, swinging like a pendulum with their reactions? Probably not.

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Her emotional maturity is a sign of her strength and depth. She knows that while feelings are important, they don’t have to dictate her every decision. With her, you’re in a relationship grounded in mutual respect and understanding. She brings to the table the ability to handle conflicts calmly and rejoice in happy moments with genuine, unbridled joy.

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22. She’s Supportive

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Whether you’re chasing a dream or going through a tough time, she’s your cheerleader, offering support and encouragement every step of the way. [Read: Signs of a supportive partner who encourages you & your goals]

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23. She Values Health and Fitness

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She is committed to taking care of her body and mind, recognizing the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Now, this might not be everyone’s top priority, but think about it – someone who values their health and well-being is not just looking after themselves; they’re setting the stage for a life filled with energy and positivity.

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It’s not just about looking good, it’s about feeling good and being at her best. Her commitment to staying fit and healthy is a sign of her discipline and self-respect. It shows she’s interested in enjoying a long, active life, and she wants to make the most of every moment. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]

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24. She’s a Goal-Getter

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In a world where dreams often stay just that – dreams – she stands out as someone who turns her aspirations into reality. With a clear vision for her future, she’s not just a dreamer, but a doer. Her determination and drive are palpable, making her an inspiration to everyone around her.

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Her goal-getting attitude is about more than just professional or personal achievements. This also shows her approach to life. She sets objectives, big and small, and tackles them with a mix of enthusiasm and pragmatism.

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25. She Has Plenty of Things in Common with You

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The list of things that make a girl dateable is quite long. Perhaps the most important is that you have things in common that you can talk about and use as a foundation for your budding relationship to grow.

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Do you know a wonderful girl who can tick all the boxes above? If so, what are you waiting for? Ask her out and get to know her as quickly as possible! [Read: Bad girl traits every guy wants in his girl]

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The traits that you need to look for aren’t seen in the mirror. They’re recognized as you speak to someone and get to know them. [Read: Do couples always have to like the same things?]

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The Things That Make a Girl Dateable Aren’t Looks-Related

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It’s far more valuable to have a girlfriend who has a brain and her own opinions than someone who simply doesn’t know what they think and would rather focus on their looks. You will quickly run out of things to talk about. What do you do then? Of course, there is the obvious, but you can’t do that all the time either!

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Understanding that personality traits are far more important than material looks is the key to a happy and healthy dating life. As a result, you’ll find the girl of your dreams far faster. No more dating disasters and no more time wasted on the wrong ones.

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[Read: Why is inner beauty more important than outer beauty?]

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The things that make a girl dateable aren’t looks-related. They’re not about how she dresses or how she carries herself. It is what is in her heart and how she makes you feel.

The post 25 Irresistible Traits That Make a Girl Dateable and Oh-So-Special is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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Do you want to get back on track? Many people have been there, and sometimes it might feel impossible, but it’s not. Here’s how you can do it.

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Have you ever felt like life just threw you off the rails? One moment everything is fine and dandy, and the next, you’re trying to figure out how to get back on track amidst the chaos.

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It’s like life has its own way of saying, “Surprise! Let’s see how you handle this one.”

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Whether it’s the heartache of a breakup, the shock of a sudden job loss, or the grief of losing someone close, these moments can leave us feeling lost and unsure of our next steps.

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The truth is, getting your life back on track isn’t just about dusting yourself off and moving on. It’s about understanding that sadness, setbacks, and upheavals are woven into the very fabric of our existence.

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From the pain of divorce to the shock of bankruptcy, these experiences, as harsh as they are, form an integral part of our journey. They test our resilience, challenge our perceptions, and ultimately, shape who we become.

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In this feature, we’ll explore how to navigate these rough patches and find your way back to a path that feels right for you.

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Remember, it’s not about avoiding the storms of life but learning how to dance in the rain. [Read: 45 secrets to be more positive and fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]

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Understanding the Derailment

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Change, as they say, is the only constant in life. But knowing this doesn’t always make it easier when we’re in the midst of turmoil.

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So, why do these changes take such a toll on us? Why does it feel so difficult to get back on track or get your life back on track after a significant upheaval?

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When life takes an unexpected turn, it’s more than just our daily routines that are affected. Our mental health takes a hit too. [Read: Positive self-talk – what it is, where it comes from, and how to master it]

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Think of your mind like an ecosystem – when one part is disrupted, it can ripple throughout your whole system.

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Stress, a natural response to change or challenges, can sometimes be overwhelming. It’s like having an internal alarm system that won’t turn off.

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But here’s where it gets interesting: our resilience, our mental muscle, is also at play. It’s what helps us bounce back. Picture resilience as a rubber band. The more we stretch it *face challenges*, the more it expands, making us stronger.

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However, just like a rubber band, there’s a limit to how much we can stretch before we need a break to regain our shape. [Read: Matras to live by – 21 positive mantras that will transform your life]

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Now, what exactly throws us off track? It could be a myriad of things. Career issues, like losing your job or feeling stuck in a role that doesn’t fulfill you, can shake your sense of identity and purpose.

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Relationships, whether they’re romantic, familial, or friendships, can also be a source of upheaval. Breakups, divorces, or even conflicts can leave us feeling adrift. [Read: Breakup advice – 22 things to do after a breakup to feel great and hate less!]

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And let’s not forget personal crises. Health issues, financial problems, or the loss of a loved one are profound events that can drastically alter our life’s trajectory.

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Each of these experiences, in their own way, can push us off the path we thought we were on, leaving us feeling lost and uncertain about the future.

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The Psychology of Getting Back on Track

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Now, before we dive into the how-tos of bouncing back, it’s crucial to understand the psychology that underpins our ability to get back on track. [Read: Repressed anger – 22 healing ways to release anger and focus on the positives]

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This isn’t just about willpower or motivation but also about the intricate workings of our minds and emotions that play a pivotal role in our recovery journey.

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At the heart of getting your life back on track is emotional intelligence *EI*. It’s a powerful tool in our psychological arsenal. EI involves two core components that are crucial in dealing with life’s curveballs: self-awareness and emotional regulation.

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Self-awareness is like having an internal mirror. It allows us to reflect on our feelings, understand why we’re feeling a certain way, and recognize how our emotions can influence our thoughts and actions. [Read: 25 Honest self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

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It’s about being honest with ourselves, acknowledging our emotions without judgment, and understanding their roots.

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Emotional regulation, on the other hand, is about managing those feelings. It doesn’t mean suppressing emotions or pretending they don’t exist. Rather, it’s about acknowledging them and finding healthy ways to express and deal with them.

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This could involve techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, or even seeking support when needed. [Read: 28 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

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Together, self-awareness and emotional regulation form the foundation of emotional intelligence, helping us navigate through tough times. They enable us to process our experiences, learn from them, and ultimately, find our footing again.

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No Nonsense Tips to Get Your Life Back on Track

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When a huge life change hits you like a ton of bricks, here are some ways you can deal with everything that’s happening.

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1. Get Closure

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You have to understand and accept what happened, hold on to it if you must, then let it go. [Read: Closure after a relationship – 29 signs you don’t have it and ways to move on]

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Whether you went through an ugly divorce, the death of someone close to you, a big move to another country, or anything else that uproots your life as you know it, be sure to embrace the change, learn from it, and look positively into the future.

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2. Evaluate Your Situation

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Of course, this is all dependent on exactly what changed in your life. Figure out the basics like getting a roof over your head, a job to keep you busy, a steady income, and so on.

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Make a plan to get the basics on track first, then move on to the other stuff that will make you happy like doing something worthwhile, slicing your vices, and whatever else that gives you that zest for life. [Read: 57 Simple life questions to get to know yourself and truths to visualize your future]

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3. Set Goals for Yourself

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No matter what you went through, you need to start accomplishing goals, no matter how small they may be. Start with a daily and monthly to-do list. Focus and work hard to check everything off your list.

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Not only will it give you a sense of accomplishment, it will also give you the chance to get some form of routine back into your life, which is always a welcome addition to your day after a massive upheaval.

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4. Focus on Yourself

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I realize that this may be very difficult if you have others under your care, like kids. However, you must realize that before you can help them, you need to make sure that you can handle it. [Read: The 3 stages of embracing and overcoming loneliness]

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Remember those repetitive inflight safety videos that harp on about putting an oxygen mask on yourself first before doing it for those under your care? Well, it’s the same thing.

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If you’re unwell or not ready to take on the challenge of facing life, those under your care will suffer the consequences.

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Sign up for counseling or get help from a friend, family member, or support group when you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed. This applies to everything, not just kids. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

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5. Keep Loved Ones Close

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You are going to need all the help and support that you can get.

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It’s understandable that you don’t want all 500 of your Facebook friends to know what’s going on with you, but be sure to keep a small circle of important people close by. Lean on them when you have to, and don’t be ashamed to ask for help.

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If you don’t have anyone you can count on, there are myriad support groups and organizations out there, so don’t ever worry about being alone because you really aren’t. [Read: I want to be loved – the psychology and 22 secrets to find that missing piece]

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6. Invite Positivity In

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Thwart negativity, and focus on the happy things in life. I know that it’s much easier said than done, and there will be days when you just want to hide from the world, wallow in your misery, and yell at the universe for being so unfair.

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That’s totally fine. Get it all out of your system and freeze out the negative energy. Focus on the good that is to come, and strive to get there without letting sorrow get the better of you. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]

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7. Quit Obsessing About the Past

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As author Mandy Hale once wrote, “When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.” There’s no use in constantly thinking about what you could have done differently to change your situation.

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The past won’t change, no matter what you do. What you can do, however, is use what you learned from the experience as a catalyst to push yourself forward. [Read: How to let go of the past and be excited by the future]

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8. Travel More

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The only way to get your life back on track is to see things from a different perspective. It’s almost impossible to get back into the daily grind after going through something traumatizing.

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Getting up, going to work, and going through the daily motions will be harder than usual, so I encourage you to change it up and take some time off from real life.

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Indulge in a spot of traveling, and head somewhere new and exotic. [Read: 59 fun things to do on a road trip to create awesome memories together]

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Meet people from various walks of life, walk in their shoes, eat their food, laugh with them, talk to them, be inspired by them, and learn from them.

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You will come home refreshed and holding onto the epiphany that you can overcome anything.

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9. Do Something New

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If you cannot afford to travel or if you’re simply too tied down to head off on an escapade, then just do something new. Push yourself to do something that you never thought you would undertake. [Read: How to broaden your horizons and get out of your comfort zone for good]

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Whether it’s joining a Toastmaster’s club and brushing up on your public speaking skills or picking up Muay Thai, scare yourself, and push till you hit the very edge of your limits.

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You will realize that with enough determination and focus, you can do anything you set your mind to. Apply this reasoning to every aspect of your life, and you will start feeling like your old self in no time.

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10. Find a Release Outlet

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Don’t underestimate the importance of finding a release outlet. It could be anything that tickles your fancy. [Read: Best friend bucket list – 66 unforgettable and fun things to do with your besties!]

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Whether it’s something gentle like writing or playing the piano to something more aggressive like boxing, be sure to find something that you can turn to every time you feel overwhelmed.

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It will give you the opportunity to release pent-up energy and negative emotions. Not just that, honing your skills and doing something that you are passionate about can help give you a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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11. Establish a Healthy Routine

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Start by creating a daily routine that includes healthy habits. This can range from a consistent sleep schedule to regular exercise and balanced eating. [Read: 26 Secrets to get motivated to work out and exercise your way to a better life]

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A structured routine provides a sense of normalcy and control, which is crucial when you’re trying to get back on track. It’s about creating a new normal that supports your well-being and goals.

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12. Learn a New Skill

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Engaging in learning something new can be incredibly fulfilling and a great way to redirect your focus. It could be anything from cooking classes to coding.

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This not only adds to your skill set but also boosts your self-esteem and can open new doors, helping you to get your life back on track. [Read: 25 Must-know secrets to be successful in life and transform your future today]

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13. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

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Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for mental clarity and emotional balance. They help in reducing stress and improving focus, making it easier to handle the challenges of getting back on track.

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Regular practice can lead to a more centered and peaceful state of mind.

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14. Volunteer Your Time

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Helping others can provide a new perspective and a sense of purpose. [Read: Ways volunteer work can help heal depression]

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Volunteering allows you to connect with your community, contribute to a cause bigger than yourself, and can be incredibly uplifting when you’re trying to get your life back on track.

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15. Maintain a Journal

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Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process what you’re going through. It also helps in tracking your progress, understanding patterns in your behavior, and keeping your goals in sight as you work on getting back on track.

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16. Create a Financial Plan

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If your situation involves financial stress, creating a clear financial plan can be a huge relief. This includes budgeting, setting financial goals, and finding ways to reduce expenses. [Read: The lazy 20 something’s guide to saving money]

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A solid financial plan can provide a sense of security and control as you get your life back on track.

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17. Cultivate a Growth Mindset

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Embrace the idea that challenges are opportunities to grow. A growth mindset encourages resilience, learning, and the belief that effort leads to improvement. This mindset can be pivotal in overcoming obstacles and getting back on track.

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18. Seek Professional Guidance

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Sometimes, getting back on track requires professional help, be it a career coach, a financial advisor, or a therapist. Don’t hesitate to seek out experts who can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation. [Read: Honest secrets to let go of the past, be happy, and look to the future]

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19. Declutter Your Space

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A cluttered space can reflect and contribute to a cluttered mind. Take time to organize and declutter your living and working spaces.

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This can create a more peaceful environment and help you feel more in control and focused on getting your life back on track.

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20. Reconnect with Old Hobbies or Passions

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Revisiting hobbies or interests that you may have set aside can reignite joy and passion in your life. [Read: 50 Secrets to get your shit together when you’re feeling really stuck in life]

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Whether it’s painting, hiking, or playing an instrument, these activities can provide a sense of fulfillment and normalcy as you work on getting back on track.

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21. Build a Support System

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It’s crucial to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. This can be friends, family, or even support groups where you can share experiences and gain insights.

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A strong support system provides emotional comfort and practical advice, making the journey of getting your life back on track less daunting. [Read: Groundhogging – what it means, 39 signs, reasons, and rules to stop doing it]

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Remember, it’s okay to lean on others when you’re rebuilding your life.

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22. Embrace Change and Move Forward

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Getting your life back on track often means accepting your new reality and the changes that come with it. This can be challenging, but it’s a vital step in moving forward.

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Embracing change doesn’t mean forgetting the past; it’s about acknowledging that life is different now and finding ways to adapt and thrive in your new circumstances. [Read: 48 real secrets to change your life & find the right path when you’re lost]

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It’s a process of rediscovering yourself and redefining your path, allowing you to grow and evolve from your experiences.

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In These Moments of Uncertainty, Your True Strength is Revealed

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When you feel like the ground has crumbled beneath your feet, finding a way to rise from the rubble becomes your next mission.

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Life’s unexpected twists can leave you disoriented, but it’s in these moments of uncertainty that your true strength is tested and revealed. [Read: 41 Rules of life to never be unhappy and be the one who screams “I love my life”]

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As you navigate through these changes, remember that the journey to get back on track is not just about regaining what was lost, but also about building something new and stronger.

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Each of these tips is a stepping stone towards regaining your footing and rediscovering your resilience.

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You are stronger than you think, and with determination, support, and a bit of self-compassion, getting your life back on track is not just a possibility, but a promise of a new beginning.

The post 22 No-Nonsense Tips to Get Your Life Back on Track After a Big Change is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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It’s not easy getting someone to talk to you. But open communication is vital in relationships. Here are some communication techniques that can help.

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You know how important communication is in a relationship. Without it, your relationship won’t last. You’ll have a number of different problems all based on the fact that you lack the necessary communication techniques to make your relationship work. Luckily, those methods can be learned.

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But it won’t be without effort. Relationships are hard work and a lot of that work is in the communication. You have to be willing to work on talking to each other. That also means discussing the hard things, too, like your need for more in bed or your lack of feeling cared about. [Read: Awkward conversations you need to have with your partner]

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Too Many Relationships End Because of Bad Communication

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And the worst part about this is the fact that it can be prevented. Bad communication in relationships doesn’t have to be a sealed fate; it’s a challenge that can be overcome with the right approach.

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Active listening is a game-changer in relationships. Imagine really tuning into your partner’s words, catching every inflection and emotion. It’s about understanding the unsaid as much as the said.

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When you listen like this, you’re not just hearing words; you’re connecting on a deeper level. This kind of listening makes both of you feel heard and valued, which is a big win in solving conflicts and keeping that relationship bond strong.

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Then, there’s empathy. Think of it as getting into your partner’s shoes, but more than that, it’s about seeing the world through their eyes. It’s not about agreeing all the time, but about understanding where they’re coming from. [Read: Reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]

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This understanding can totally shift how you both tackle issues. It’s like turning a potentially explosive argument into a calm discussion where both sides are seen and respected.

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Now, let’s talk about those pesky unresolved issues. They’re like silent gremlins in your relationship, quietly causing chaos.

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The trick is to address these issues head-on with clear, compassionate communication. It’s about being honest and open, not letting things simmer. Think of it as relationship maintenance; you’re fixing small leaks before they become floods.

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Lastly, effective communication techniques are the toolkit for a healthy relationship. This means sharing your thoughts and feelings without the drama, really listening to what your partner has to say, and making sure you’re both on the same page.

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When both partners are dialed into these practices, you’re not just avoiding problems, you’re actively creating a positive, growth-oriented environment for your relationship. [Read: 38 signs & traits of a happy, healthy relationship & what it should look like]

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Communication Techniques That Can Actually Get Your Partner to Open Up

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Sometimes the lack of communication isn’t just your fault. Honestly, it takes two to have a conversation. But sometimes one person can make it a bit harder on the other who’s trying to get the ball rolling.

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If your significant other just won’t open up, it’s a problem. Here are some communication techniques you can use to finally get them to talk about their issues.

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1. Never be Accusatory

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If you go into your discussion with this kind of attitude, it’ll quickly form into a fight. And when someone is arguing, they feel attacked. If you make your partner feel attacked every time you want to work something out, you’ll never get anywhere.

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People who feel like they’re being blamed for something immediately get on the defensive. That means you won’t be able to talk anything through because they’ll close themselves off to protect themselves from hurt. Stay calm and you’ll have a much better conversation. [Read: Playing victim: 37 signs & reasons why it makes your life way worse]

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2. Start With How You’re Feeling

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If you really want your partner to pay attention, start the conversation with how you’re feeling. This is one of the most important communication techniques and is crucial because if you immediately begin with their faults, they’ll stop listening.

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Nobody wants to hear about all they’re doing wrong. However, if you talk about how you’re upset, they’ll want to listen to why. They care about you. That means they care about your happiness and if you’re not happy, they’ll want to know why.

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3. Make it a Regular Thing

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Just get into the habit of talking to each other. You really have to just do it. Every single day, sit down and talk about your day. Then discuss any issues you might have. It can seem weird at first, but you’ll get the hang of it.

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You can even just mention how you’re a little bummed about the way they just blew you off when you asked a question. Even small things should be discussed and if you make this a regular part of your relationship, your partner will just open up automatically after a while. [Read: Silly bad habits that can ruin your relationship]

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4. Ask a Lot of Questions

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If you have a significant other who just won’t open up to you on their own, you’ll need to utilize questions. Just ask a lot of them. You can simply start by asking about their day and go a little deeper.

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Ask if they’re happy in your relationship. Talk about what they think about your sex life. It’s easier to get them to talk if they’re prompted first. Plus, by the time they figure out what you’re doing, they’ll have already dished a bunch of information you’ll find useful.

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5. Keep Your Tone Light

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You can have serious conversations about how you’re unhappy without a harsh tone. Remaining calm and even happy will help your odds of getting your partner to talk more.

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When you’re in a good mood, they don’t sense anything serious, even if the topic gets there. You’re more likely to get an honest response out of them this way. Keep the tone light and you’ll have a lot more luck. [Read: How to get someone to open up to you so you can really connect]

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6. Be Honest

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Just keep things open and honest. Don’t lie just to get your partner to talk to you. If you just talk about how you’re feeling and what you want to talk about, they’ll be more grateful than if you lied. Plus, if you’re being open and honest, they’ll feel the need to be the same.

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7. Share Your Vulnerabilities

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You have to be vulnerable in a relationship. Opening yourself up will help your partner see that it’s okay to do so. You grow a lot closer and bond deeper the more you open up to each other.

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Therefore, you can help your partner by implementing one of the best communication techniques of being vulnerable. Talk about your fears for your relationship or even things you’re scared of in general. You’ll see how much it’ll help them show you how they really feel. [Read: Wear your heart on your sleeve: What it means & reasons why it’s worth it]

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8. Ask if They Understand

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If you really want to make sure your communication is effective, then ask if they understand where you’re coming from. Oftentimes, your partner might not even get it but they’ll agree anyways.

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If you ask if they understand, they’re more likely to give you an honest answer. They might say no. That not only tells you that you have to be more specific when explaining stuff, it’ll allow you to take the time to make sure they get it.

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9. Don’t Try to Talk When They’re Busy

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If they’re busy or running late or not in a good place to sit down and discuss things, then don’t try. A lot of issues arise when you try to talk about sensitive matters at the wrong time.

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Make sure they’re calmed down and relaxed first. [Read: What’s pillow talk and how can you make it better?]

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10. Know That it’ll Take Time to Make it Effective

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It won’t happen right away. If you’re not good at communicating now, you’ll have to work up to it. The great thing is that it will get better. You just have to work at it every day and make sure your partner is willing to work with you. [Read: A guide for effective communication in relationships]

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11. Listen More, Talk Less

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Sometimes, the best way to get your partner to open up is by being a stellar listener. Show them that their words are gold to you. Remember, when we talk too much, we often miss out on hearing and understanding our partner’s perspectives.

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It’s about giving them the stage and the spotlight, letting their thoughts and feelings take the lead. This approach not only makes them feel valued but also provides you with invaluable insights into their world.

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12. Use ‘We’ Instead of ‘I’ or ‘You’

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This tiny tweak in language fosters a team spirit. It’s like saying, “We’re in this together,” which can be super encouraging. You might be thinking, “What difference does this make?”

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Well, consider the shift in tone when “I think we need to talk more” becomes “We could benefit from more communication,” or when “You need to listen to me” transforms into “We should work on listening to each other.”

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See how that changes the atmosphere from confrontational to collaborative? It’s a small change in wording, but it makes a big difference in how the message is received and processed.

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13. Remember the Compliments

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Sprinkle compliments in your conversations. It’s easy to get comfortable in a relationship and forget to vocalize the positives. When you’ve been with someone for a while, you might assume they already know how you feel, but hearing it can make a world of difference.

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Telling your partner, “You handled that situation really well” or “I love how passionate you are about your hobbies,” can light up their day. These little affirmations are like sunshine for the relationship, reminding both of you why you’re great together. [Read: 32 best ways to accept & respond to a compliment without feeling awkward]

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14. Express Appreciation Regularly

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Regular doses of gratitude in a relationship can work wonders. Along with the compliments, it’s also important to express appreciation for the everyday things.

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Acknowledge the small gestures, like when they make coffee for you or listen to your day’s story. These acknowledgments can be as simple as saying, “I really appreciate you doing that,” or “It means a lot to me that you’re always there to listen.”

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15. Avoid the Blame Game

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This is perhaps one of the most important communication techniques in any relationship. Pointing fingers is a no-go. When you’re caught up in finding out who’s to blame, you lose sight of the bigger picture – solving the problem. [Read: Toxic relationship: What it is, 107 signs, causes & types of love that hurt you]

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Instead of playing detective on who caused the issue, shift your focus to how you can solve it together. This approach not only prevents the situation from escalating but also fosters a sense of partnership and teamwork. It’s about finding solutions, not culprits.

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16. Keep the Past in the Past

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Dragging up old issues in a relationship is like re-reading a bad chapter in a good book. Now, imagine this: you’re discussing something current, maybe it’s about how often to go out or balancing the budget, and suddenly, out of nowhere, an issue from three years ago is brought up.

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It’s like being hit with a “Remember when you…” out of the blue. This not only derails the current conversation but also adds unnecessary tension. Focus on the current page, the present issue, and resist the temptation to turn back to past chapters. [Read: How to bring up something that is bothering you & stop worrying]

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17. Use Humor Wisely

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A well-timed joke in a conversation can be like a spoonful of sugar with medicine – it helps lighten the mood and can make difficult discussions more palatable.

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However, it’s crucial to gauge the situation correctly. If your partner is already worked up about something, like a mistake at work or a family issue, cracking a joke might not be the best idea. It can come off as dismissive or insensitive.

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18. Timing is Key

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Timing in communication is crucial. Bring up important topics when you’re both relaxed, not right when your partner walks in from a long day.

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Think of it this way: you might be applying all the other communication techniques flawlessly, but if you’ve timed it poorly, your efforts could backfire. It’s like trying to have a deep conversation at a rock concert – even if you’re saying all the right things, the timing and environment just aren’t conducive.

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Wait for a calm, quiet moment when both of you can focus and be receptive to each other. That’s when your communication has the best chance of being effective and meaningful.

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19. Avoid Interrupting

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Effective communication isn’t just about sharing your own thoughts; it’s equally about hearing the other side. When you interrupt your partner, you’re essentially putting your own words above theirs, which can make them feel undervalued. [Read: Feeling unappreciated? 31 satisfying quotes to empower you to move on]

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Let them finish their thoughts completely before responding. This practice shows respect and ensures that you fully understand their perspective.

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20. Mirror Their Communication Style

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If they’re brief, be brief. On the other hand, if they are more detailed and expansive, engaging with that level of detail shows you are invested in the conversation and are willing to meet them in their comfort zone.

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This technique helps create a sense of harmony and reduces the chances of miscommunication. It’s about adapting to each other’s preferences, making the conversation more comfortable and effective for both parties.

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The Benefits of Improved Communication

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You might generally know that improved communication is good for relationships, but let’s delve into the specifics.

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1. Enhanced Understanding

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Effective communication fosters a deeper understanding between partners. When you actively listen and empathize, you’re not just hearing words; you’re tuning into emotions and underlying messages.

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This level of understanding goes beyond the surface, allowing partners to connect on a deeper emotional plane, making each feel truly seen and heard in the relationship.

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2. Reduced Conflict

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Psychologists find that clear and honest communication is key to conflict resolution. It’s about tackling the problem, not the person. By focusing on what’s really bothering you instead of assigning blame, you’re more likely to find solutions and maintain harmony. [Read: How to resolve conflict: The 20 best ways to cut out the drama]

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3. Increased Intimacy

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Open communication paves the way for greater emotional intimacy. By sharing thoughts, feelings, fears, and dreams, partners build a foundation of trust and closeness.

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Studies suggest that this vulnerability is a cornerstone of intimacy. By sharing more of your inner world, you create a stronger, more connected relationship.

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4. Better Conflict Resolution

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According to relationship experts, good communication skills are essential for resolving disagreements in a healthy way.

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It’s about understanding each other’s viewpoints and finding a middle ground. Couples who master this tend to have stronger, more resilient relationships. [Read: 38 signs & traits of a happy, healthy relationship & what it should look like]

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5. Higher Relationship Satisfaction

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Psychological research indicates that couples who communicate effectively often experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction.

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This comes from feeling understood, valued, and connected. Regular, healthy communication fosters a sense of well-being and happiness within the relationship, making it more fulfilling for both partners.

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6. Improved Problem-Solving

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Effective communication is key to teamwork. Couples who communicate well are better at solving problems together, whether it’s everyday decisions or major life events.

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A collaborative approach to problem-solving strengthens the relationship, as both partners feel their opinions are valued and their contributions matter.

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7. Greater Empathy

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Regular, empathetic communication allows partners to step into each other’s shoes, fostering a stronger emotional bond.

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By understanding each other’s feelings and experiences, partners develop a deeper sense of compassion and empathy, which is fundamental in nurturing a loving, supportive relationship.

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8. Increased Trust

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Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship, and it is built through consistent, honest communication.

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When partners communicate openly, without hiding their feelings or thoughts, it creates an environment of transparency and reliability, essential for building and maintaining trust over time. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship & learn to be loyal and loving]

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9. Reduced Stress and Anxiety

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Open lines of communication can significantly reduce stress and anxiety in a relationship. When partners know they can talk about anything without fear of judgment or backlash, it eliminates a lot of the guesswork and worry that often accompanies silence or ambiguity in a relationship.

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10. Personal Growth

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Engaging in healthy communication is not just beneficial for the relationship; it also contributes to personal development. It improves self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and interpersonal skills.

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This growth positively impacts all areas of life, making individuals better partners, friends, and overall more emotionally balanced people.

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Communication Techniques Will Make the Process Easier

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While it’s true that being open and communicative in a relationship isn’t always a walk in the park, it’s undeniably worth the effort. There are moments when opening up might feel daunting, or when listening actively requires more patience than you feel you have.

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It’s in these moments that the true value of communication shines through. Remember, relationships are about growth and understanding, and sometimes that means stepping out of your comfort zone to really connect with your partner.

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[Read: Spiritual connection: How it works, the science & 33 signs you’re connected]

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Being able to talk to your partner and discuss your relationship woes is really important. Having some communication techniques up your sleeve will only make the process easier. It equips you with the tools needed to navigate the complexities of sharing a life with someone, ensuring that both of you feel heard, understood, and deeply connected.

The post 20 Powerful Communication Techniques That Will Transform Your Relationship is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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True Life Story: Is My Husband Trying To Set Up His Twin Brother Or Myself?

Good day Lively Stones,

I have an issue I want you to help me check. I am a peaceful woman, I don’t trouble but my husband has been a source of pain that so many times, I have contemplated leaving this marriage of almost 8 years. When we were dating, he was cool and sweet but after marriage, he changed and became someone else. He became a womanizer and a liar. At first, he blamed me for his indiscretions because he said I was not satisfying his s3xual needs.

During the early stage of our marriage, I was having a difficult time balancing child bearing and my career….I almost quite my career when I found out my husband was sleeping with every house maid that I employed. I then became so upset that I moved out of the house on two occasions. He came and begged and promised to be a better man. I stayed one time, almost 5 months away…I thought he had changed and I moved back in.

Since that time, trust has not been easy for me….I have not caught him with anyone but I can’t help but suspect his every move. Then, one of our family friend asked us to help the niece get an NYSC placement in Lagos. My husband got her a place in his office and I found out that he was picking and dropping her off everyday from her bustop. This became an issue when I even saw the physic of this girl, she looked like all those BBL girls. Very attractive.

I told my husband to stop picking or dropping her but he accused me of suspecting an innocent girl. He even told me that the girl is a virgin. I was like, how did you know…he said because some guys in his office tried to toast the girl but she refused. I suspected he too tried and maybe the girl refused. This became an issue of argument for me and hubby but I tried to maintain my cool until this girl finished her service and left.

Then I stumbled on my husband’s chat with this girl a few months later. They actually flirted with each other cos she wrote that she had a crush on him but because he is married and her father is a pastor, she could not do anything with him. Then my husband was like, saying any man who marries her is truly blessed. She also said she wish to find a husband like my husband one day. When I saw that chat, I was mad but I calmed down cos the conclusion of the chat showed that nothing happened between them.

And then, to my surprise, my husband’s twin brother who broke up with his girlfriend of over two years, told me that my husband introduced someone to him and he likes her alot and he wants to marry her. This brother of my husband is a jaiye jaiye…never serious with one girl…his fiance suffered too in his hands. Only for him to break up less than three months, he has found someone else and he is thinking of marriage? Guess who this person is, that same girl…that has a crush on my husband, that former NYSC girl….my husband introduced her to his twin brother and his brother is so head over heels in love with her…he is saying so many good things about her…that she is a well brought up girl and she is the best thing that happened to him.

Lively Stones, my worry is plenty: out of all the girls, why is it the one that has a crush on my husband that my husband introduced to his twin brother? Is it his plan to bring her close, so he can be close to her? Am I crazy for thinking like that? Another thing is: should his twin brother be marrying someone that has a crush on his own brother? Should he not be aware? Should I tell him or should I confront my husband? If I do, my husband will know I saw their chat…..but I am worried all the same.

More From Lively Stones

Maybe its my trust issues again but genuinely, I am worried about this girl marrying my husband’s twin….I feel its a set up…is my husband trying to set up his own brother? Or trying to set me up so he can keep this girl close to him without anyone suspecting anything between them? should I say something or keep quiet? This girl may be gunning for my man and is using the twin as a cover up…or am I just being paranoid? If you were in my shoes, what would you do please? Please advise me, for the sake of my sanity. I don’t know what to think anymore.

Anonymous

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Welcome to May 2024’s Skilled Seducer of the Month interview.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Skilled, Seducer, the, Month, May, 2024:, Kvothe", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "158", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/sites/default/files/styles/461x320/public/kvothe-preview.jpg?itok=7MLUIDAf", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/skilled-seducer-month-may-2024-kvothe", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-20 09:50:55", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41708", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Woman Married to Man 19 Years Older Opens Up About Their Relationship", "title_slug": "woman-married-to-man-19-years-older-opens-up-about-their-relationship", "title_hash": "3783558e0861685db480bc18a2a07b16", "summary": "A woman who married a man 19 years older than her has shared her experience of being in…", "content": "A woman who married a man 19 years older than her has shared her experience of being in…", "keywords": "Woman, Married, Man, Years, Older, Opens, About, Their, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/7878.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/woman-married-to-man-19-years-older-opens-up-about-their-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-20 09:50:54", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41707", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Modern Man's Evolving Consciousness", "title_slug": "modern-mans-evolving-consciousness", "title_hash": "88634adcf3ac7d6a900215ae1de8be6a", "summary": "How Redefining What It Means to Be a Man Starts With Us", "content": "What does it mean to be a “man?” \r\nIt’s a question that — if asked across past centuries — would generate a different answer each centennial. \r\nBut unlike generations of old, today’s man has the Internet and social media at his disposal — two factors that have helped individual men and groups of men come in contact with different ideas on what masculinity can look like or can be, many of which run counter to the generations of societal male norms that our parents and our parents’ parents were exposed to.\r\n“For as much flak we give online culture, I think it's largely responsible for helping men's consciousness evolve,” said Jor-El Caraballo, therapist and co-founder of Viva. “We are able to see so many more examples of masculinity and manhood online through the kind of sharing that happens now. We also get to see the feedback from others of how traditional masculine norms impact them.”\r\nRELATED: How to Own Your Masculinity Today \r\n“When these conversations happen more honestly and openly, it creates a natural sort of reflection point where men, en masse, have begun to evaluate what manhood means to them and how they want to embody it moving forward,” Caraballo adds.\r\nHere, we take a look at how today’s men are uniquely positioned to unwind generations of harmful societal norms around masculinity and can reconfigure a healthier way to “be a man” in today’s world and for decades to come:\r\n\r\nEvolving From Past to Present\r\n\r\nThe first thing to note about shifts in consciousness is that each generation of men (and women) are — for the most part — doing the best they can within the belief systems of the given time period they’re in. \r\nOne’s consciousness — or awareness of their inner and outer selves — is thus greatly influenced by where they’re raised geographically, the societal norms of that area, and the socially accepted ways of being at the time.\r\nAt different points in history people prayed to the sun, believed the earth was the center of the universe and thought smoking cigarettes was healthy. But when introduced with more accurate knowledge, those belief systems changed.\r\nConsciousness — like belief systems–-can also shift when people are exposed to different ways of seeing themselves and their role in the world at large, though it’s sometimes more difficult to embrace those “different” ways if they are not the norm.\r\n“Most men have either directly or indirectly been told by their father that vulnerability, emotions and crying are acts of weakness,” said Lorin Krenn, author, men’s coach and hypnotherapist. “Their fathers have been told the same by their fathers, which is the generational trauma of men. Most men have not received an initiation from boyhood to manhood and the values they did receive from their fathers were most likely ‘work hard, make money, don’t be a failure.’ This was usually not conveyed verbally but was observed behavior that was then internalized.”\r\nRELATED: Comparing Modern vs. Old-School Initiations Into Manhood \r\nAnd like with any internalized belief system, it is harder to evolve beyond something most people see as “normal.” Fortunately, we’re seeing more and more men having conversations on social media and throughout the Internet that provide a different window — outside the stereotypes — of what men can be: Men openly discussing things like emotional maturity, vulnerability and opening their hearts — not as weakness, but as strengths.\r\n“The rise of the Internet has helped provide more perspectives of men experiencing similar things, giving an individual a greater awareness and self-understanding” said Cory Allen, author and host of the And Then It Hit Me podcast. “They’re able to recognize parts of themselves whenever different men speak about these things online — raising the consciousness of the individual through this externalization of information.”\r\nAllen believes having a sort of “digital tribal connection” amongst men who are talking about things that previously weren’t as widely discussed helps normalize the topics into something that’s no longer scary or taboo to talk about.\r\n“The more comfortable people become talking about evolving consciousness, the more open people are, and therefore those topics of discussion become further and further normalized until they become normal,” he said.\r\nWithout such discussions, we remain stuck as a society repeating patterns of the past.\r\nRELATED: Guys Reveal the Most Important Thing Their Dads Taught Them \r\nBut once we become aware of the generational trauma of our fathers and ancestors and the harm it has had on society and ourselves, we have a choice to make: We can either continue to perpetuate the same types of thoughts and actions as they did — and generate the same results — or, we can do something different.\r\nTake male aggression, for example. To this day — and especially in past decades — a man demonstrating “strength” through aggressive behavior has been normalized. But now, other, healthier ways of demonstrating masculinity have entered the public sphere — and have been accepted — in such a way that many men are adopting different ways of handling aggression.\r\n“The idea is not to tell young boys to be vulnerable all the time — it’s for them to learn to live with an open heart while also having a strong spine,” Krenn said. “They can process their emotions and learn to deal with challenges in a mature and conscious way. This makes a man infinitely stronger and tougher at a holistic level.”\r\nRELATED: How We Teach Consent to Young Boys \r\nA wider lens of “what it means to be a man” involves expressing emotions truthfully, honestly, and compassionately. Instead of relying on pure physical strength, men are recognizing the importance of feeling their feelings and communicating them clearly to their significant other and their children — and it starts with each individual man consciously choosing to show up differently.\r\n“I believe the human condition is designed to constantly move in the direction of higher consciousness,” said Craig French, mindfulness and mindset coach. “We are built to learn, grow, fail and evolve, so it would make sense that we are seeing some dramatic shifts happening over the last number of decades, especially around male consciousness.”\r\nThe shift in consciousness — in most instances — runs counter to the way today’s men have been raised. Their father’s may not have been the most emotionally expressive, may not have understood the importance of creating a “safe space” within the household, and may not have known an alternative way of living and being even existed outside the one modeled to them by their fathers.\r\nRELATED: How Men Can Work on Improving Their Emotional Intelligence \r\nBut as more and more men “awake” to the reality that they can demonstrate their masculinity in different ways from previous generations — and take action on an individual level — the more the collective male consciousness grows healthier, stronger, and more aware.\r\n\r\nChoosing a Different Path\r\n\r\nWe can now see and understand how some of the ways kids were once raised aren’t necessarily the best ways to raise them. Just because our parents yelled at or hit us — because their parents did the same — doesn’t mean we have to repeat the pattern moving forward.\r\n“As a therapist, I think that the single best thing men can do to impart this evolving consciousness for other men and boys is to do their work themselves,” Caraballo said. “It's not enough to tell others in your life ‘this is how you show up better for people, this is how you express yourself well.’ Modeling that behavior and doing the personal development work so that you embody it in the way you live everyday is the most effective way to encourage other men and boys to do the same.”\r\nRELATED: What Healthy Masculinity in Pop Culture Looks Like \r\nWith this new awareness, we can choose to impart different ways of living in how we conduct ourselves and the example we set for other men.\r\n“You simply have to live by example,” Allen said. “Once you recognize the key points internally that you need to move through to have your own transformation — such as being more vulnerable with your emotions or slowing down your reactivity to think through and be more intentional with your actions — you can then guide who you are going to be in the future. By doing that, you’re being who you want to see you be in the world.”\r\nWe don’t know what we don’t know. If evolved behavior is modeled to us, we can observe it, digest it, and replicate it. Same goes with trauma. Given we have a choice over the two paths, and when we become aware of this choice, it positions the power of our actions and our reactions as tools others can learn from.\r\nRELATED: How Men Manage Stress by Disassociating From Their Feelings \r\n“When a young boy sees his father's vulnerability and capability of expressing deep love to his mother — and at the same time, standing up for the family to protect the family — the son will naturally learn to be an emotionally safe, regulated, and grounded man,” says Krenn. \r\n“Explaining to a young boy about the importance of creating a safe space in relationships can be helpful, but this is something every man deep down desires to do naturally,” he adds. “What will serve him infinitely more deeply is to help him connect to his innate sense to ‘do good in the world’ and to treat others with integrity.”\r\nThu,s the mere act of one man choosing to raise his consciousness and act differently than the men who have come before him has the ability to be a tiny raindrop that ripples across the pond of man’s collective consciousness — demonstrating to the younger generations that this “new” way of showing up is acceptable.\r\n“It most definitely starts in the home,” French said. “Parents have to be role models to their boys, giving them the autonomy to be themselves and to explore their own path. However, structure and discipline are also crucial. The key is finding the balance. If communication stays open between boys and their parents, along with mutual respect, it’s a breeding ground for positive growth and evolution.”\r\nRELATED: Study Reveals the Long-Term Effect of Toxic Masculinity \r\nEvolution that’s empowering boys and men to step into themselves as separate individuals from their parents. The more examples that exist of men living differently, the more we have the ability to break the cycles of old and make living differently more mainstream.\r\n\r\nLiving with Higher Consciousness\r\n\r\nThe more men raise their consciousness and choose to act differently, the more we can collectively transform the outdated social norms around masculinity into something more progressive, inclusive and forward-thinking for humanity.\r\n“To do so, we need to drop our individual egos and work for the benefit of all,” French said. “If collectively men can elevate one another instead of always competing against one another, that would be incredible progress.”\r\nRELATED: 7 Behaviors That No Longer Define ‘Being a Man’ \r\nBut it first starts with each man on an individual level unwinding his own baggage — his own trauma — to be able to fully embrace the totality of who he can become.“When we give ourselves the permission to honor the totality of our humanity, we get to show up in the world in ways that also embrace the full humanity of others,” Caraballo said. “When we're not so concerned about performing masculinity in a certain way, we won't find other ways of being problematic or worrisome. This creates space for more compassion and understanding between people, and a recognition that at our core, we all want to be really seen, valued and respected for who we truly are.”\r\nSo the work is to unravel, discover and embrace ourselves — which in turn, gives us a greater capacity to embrace others.\r\n“The higher level of consciousness needed for true transformation to occur can be symbolized in a man’s spiritual journey,” Krenn said. “After a man learns how to connect with his heart, feel love once more, create safety and security inside his body with his emotions, he can then reclaim all parts of himself — even his most primal and archaic traits — and express them consciously from a place of love and service.”\r\nBy first serving ourselves, we can better serve others, and Krenn believes conscious masculinity is about being in service to the world.\r\nRELATED: Why You Should Tell the Ones You Love You're Proud of Them\r\n“A man who is in deep service is capable of immense fierceness to protect his loved ones and of expressing deep emotion to allow others to drop deeper into their own hearts,” Krenn said. “As men right now, we are being asked by the universe to carve the path for others to follow. While this is not easy — in fact, it’s immensely challenging — it is a noble and sacred duty bestowed upon us.”\r\nAnd ultimately, fulfilling that duty starts with us awakening to the idea that we as men can choose to live, think, act and behave differently than what has been previously modeled to us.\r\n“We have to let go of the story of what we’re supposed to be,” Allen said. “We spend our lives feeling guilty for not meeting standards we never agreed to in the first place and for feeling like we have to be or should be a certain way — even negative ways — because it’s so folded into the culture.”\r\nRELATED: Toxic Things That Many People Tend to Encourage in Men \r\n“Once you let go of all that baggage, you realize you are this singular individual — this living being — who doesn’t have to have their way of existing or their consciousness shaped by the patterns and the fingerprints of the past,” he explains. “It’s really up to you to decide in the present moment to let go of the story — other people’s story that you’ve been carrying — and to stop worrying about what other people say you should be so you can become who you really are.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nHow to Be a Man's Man in Today’s Modern Culture What’s Wrong With Masculinity Today (And How Can We Begin to Fix It)? \r\nHow One Ranch Is Redefining What It Means to be a Man", "keywords": "Modern, Mans, Evolving, Consciousness", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "136", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/man-skills/essential/modern-mans-evolving-consciousness/askmen-lead-image-template-30-1715970610.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/man-skills/essential/modern-mans-evolving-consciousness.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-20 09:50:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41704", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Not Cum So Fast", "title_slug": "how-to-not-cum-so-fast", "title_hash": "cf5731e8bcc257bc79d631fa08b87fc3", "summary": "Does the Bedroom Fun End Prematurely More Often Than You'd Like? Read This", "content": "Do you have trouble controlling your orgasm? Have you had to awkwardly apologize to your partner more than once when the fun ended sooner than you both wanted? Are you starting to get nervous before a sexual encounter even begins, because you have a history of premature ejaculation? \r\nDon’t freak out — you're not alone. As many as one in three men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. It’s so normal, in fact, that the Mayo Clinic regards premature ejaculation as a “common sexual complaint” and insists, as long as it happens once every so often, you have nothing to worry about.\r\nRELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Premature Ejaculation\r\n“We actually diagnose ‘rapid’ ejaculation now, not premature,” says Nicole Prause, Ph.D, scientist at Liberos. “Many men who identify themselves as coming too quickly actually are not faster to orgasm than other men when tested, so the first thing to consider if you are concerned is whether your experiences might be normal.”\r\nWhile there isn’t exactly a golden rule to help diagnose me with rapid ejaculation, Prause says you shouldn’t be concerned if you’re only having penetrative vaginal intercourse for two minutes prior to orgasm. In fact, you should only really deem it an issue if you find yourself nearly always ejaculating within one minute of penetration, are unable to delay ejaculation and/or feel frustrated to the point where you avoid sexual intimacy altogether. At that point, it may be worth a trip to the doctor for a legitimate diagnosis.\r\nPrause assures that if you want to increase your latency to ejaculation, you will be able to do so with treatment. “Most men reporting this difficulty are actually lasting within the ‘normal’ range,” she shares, noting that if you have sex with women, most won’t desire long, rapid pounding intercourse, as it rarely leads to climax.\r\n“You may develop better skills in oral sex, slower touching, and similar positive sex habits due to having a shorter ejaculation latency that make you a superior lover,” she adds.\r\nIf you are still concerned that you may have issues with finishing too quickly during sex, read below on what might be the cause (and see how it’s best treated).\r\n\r\nWhat Causes Men to Cum Too Fast?\r\n\r\n“There is some evidence that men with rapid ejaculation are more sensitive in their genitalia and more responsive to visual sexual stimulation,” says Prause. It’s worth noting that while several factors can contribute to rapid ejaculation, you may be surprised to find that most are not physical.\r\nPsychological problems such as stress and depression can aggravate this condition, and are far more common than a specific physical condition, such as increased sensitivity, inflammation of the prostate or a spinal cord issue. To better understand your problem, your doctor will need to discuss your sexual history with you. Remember that they are medical professionals and have heard all of this stuff before, so be open and honest. The more your doctor knows, the better they can help treat you.\r\n\r\nHow to Properly Treat Premature Ejaculation\r\n\r\nSometimes, premature ejaculation goes away on its own in a couple weeks or months without multiple visits to the doctor’s office. Alleviating stress is the best way to start, so treat yourself to some R&R and see how that goes.\r\nAnd the most important thing? Do not blame yourself or feel inadequate in any way, as this can amplify the problem. If it helps, speak openly with your partner about it to otherwise avoid miscommunication. According to Prause, the following three solutions are best for treating premature ejaculation:\r\nSqueeze Techniques\r\nIf you get the sense that you're about to ejaculate prematurely, you or your partner can squeeze the shaft of the penis just below the head with the thumb on one side and forefingers on the other. Squeeze for roughly 20 seconds, let go and you should be able to resume with your sexual activity.\r\nWhen done effectively for a prolonged period of time, the technique enables you to delay ejaculation with the squeeze. Eventually, as you become more comfortable with your sexual ability and endurance, you’ll eventually learn to delay orgasm successfully without the squeeze. This practice can be repeated as often as necessary, and often requires open communication with your partner.\r\nNumbing Creams\r\nAnother possible treatment involves prescription medication that helps delay ejaculation. These anesthetic creams and sprays contain a numbing agent, such as benzocaine, lidocaine or prilocaine, which should be applied to the penis 10 to 15 minutes before sex to reduce sensation and subsequently delay ejaculation.\r\n“Numbing creams actually are helpful with men, but [as] these also get all over your partner, do not use them without your partner's consent,” advises Prause.\r\nRELATED: Penis Health Care, De-Mystified\r\nAlthough topical anesthetic agents are effective, they have potential side effects to take note of, too. Some men report temporary loss of sensitivity, as well as decreased sexual pleasure. Sometimes through contact with the treated penis, female partners also report these effects.\r\nAntidepressants\r\n“The goal with medications is not to stay on them for the rest of your life, so you might plan to try a medication for a shorter (one to three month) period and see if this improves to the point that you might no longer need them,” says Prause. “The anorgsamic effects are very rapid, which is why a month ‘trial’ may be plenty to experiment with the effects of a drug-induced orgasm delay.”\r\nWhen this type of medication is given to treat rapid ejaculation, it can help to postpone orgasm for several minutes. Drugs used for this type of treatment include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine and tricyclic antidepressants.\r\nThe biggest thing to remember when experiencing premature ejaculation is that, more often than not, what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. And if these experiences become more commonplace, there are a number of effective treatments to assist. You just have to figure out what works best for you and your partner in order to put your worries — and your penis — at ease.\r\n\r\nBest Products for Premature Ejaculation\r\n\r\nSometimes it pays to be prepared, and having one of these desensitizing creams in your nightstand can make all the difference.\r\nDoc Johnson Sta-Erect Delay Cream\r\n\r\nUsing the numbing agent Benzocaine, at 7.5% strength, even a small application of Doc Johnson's Sta-Erect Delay Cream will help calm your nerves and make the fun last longer. Per the instructions, you need to apply this cream a full 10 minutes before you use it, so make sure you're thinking ahead.\r\n$16.99 at Lovehoney.com \r\nAdam & Eve Extra Strength Marathon Delay Spray\r\n\r\n\r\nUsing scientifically proven Benzocaine as a desensitizer, the Extra Strength Marathon Delay Spray from Adam & Eve will prolong your pleasure and help you hold your erection, even with a very small application.\r\n$14.99 at AdamEve.com\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tPremature Ejaculation Myths\r\n\tTips for Curing Premature Ejaculation\r\n\tEjaculation Etiquette: Where to Cum and Why", "keywords": "How, Not, Cum, Fast", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2022/06/07-085844-how_to_not_cum_so_fast.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual_health/how-to-not-cum-so-fast.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-20 09:50:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41705", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Some Guys Struggle to Orgasm From Blowjobs", "title_slug": "why-some-guys-struggle-to-orgasm-from-blowjobs", "title_hash": "ca1d7632183eeaee32df2ec3d0c195f0", "summary": "Struggling to Climax From Oral Sex? You're Not Alone", "content": "You may get the impression from movies, television and other forms of popular entertainment that getting a blowjob is one of the greatest life experiences for men. And in real life, scores of high-profile men in entertainment and politics have jeopardized their careers and reputations for the sake of oral sex (and those are just the ones we know about). \r\nBut regardless of how much you covet a little oral action, there’s another truth to the BJ story: Lots of guys also struggle to orgasm when someone goes down on them.\r\nOf course, there’s nothing wrong with not cumming. But it can feel deeply embarrassing for some guys, because so many men have internalized the message that their self-worth is intrinsically tied to how they perform in bed.\r\nWhile that often takes the form of maintaining an erection and not ejaculating prematurely, it can even extend to the point where someone else failing to make them climax can feel like they’ve done something wrong.\r\nA really great blowjob can be one of the best sensations ever, but if you’re putting pressure on yourself to achieve a certain outcome, that’s likely going to dampen the fun for all parties involved. Instead of enjoying the moment, you might find yourself worrying about whether you’ll have an orgasm or not, and the more you start to worry about that, the more likely it is that you won’t have one.\r\nRELATED: Premature Ejaculation Myths, Debunked\r\nHowever, while that’s not a great outcome, it’s also far from rare, meaning you’re definitely not alone in this. And on the bright side, there are ways to solve the issue, so keep reading to see what some qualified sex experts have to say about what might be causing it.\r\n\r\nHow Common Is It for a Guy Not to Climax From Oral Sex?\r\n\r\nIf everything you know about blowjobs has come from the porn you watch, or what your friends brag about, you might get the impression that guys always cum from this particular sex act. Unfortunately, that’s not exactly the case.\r\n“It’s more common than most people realize for guys not to climax during oral sex,” says Kayla Lords, co-host of the Loving BDSM podcast. “Contrary to popular belief, penises aren’t automated for orgasms. It’s much more than just ‘apply stimulation, wait for orgasm.’”\r\nSome guys aren’t exactly looking to orgasm at that, either. If they’re receiving a blowjob as a precursor to sex, they may want to save that big finish for later on.\r\n“Some people have orgasms from oral sex and others do not,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Drive Him Wild and Drive Her Wild video courses. “I’d say that the majority of blowjobs don’t lead to orgasm; some people don’t want them to (they use oral as foreplay to lead to other types of sex) and others find that the stimulation simply isn’t enough.”\r\nWhile that’s not exactly a scientific analysis — data on what percentage of blowjobs lead directly to orgasm isn’t exactly easy to come by — it’s worth acknowledging how much our expectations differ from reality.\r\nPart of the problem, of course, is that talking about not cumming from oral sex isn’t exactly something men brag about, in no small part because many guys can be shy when it comes to discussing any perceived sexual shortcomings.\r\n“To varying degrees, men may have physical, mental or emotional reasons why an orgasm doesn’t happen, even during extreme pleasure,” notes Lords. “If it happens to you, you’re not the first person to not get off during oral, and you won’t be the last. “But it’s something that should be discussed more often so guys understand how typical it really is.”\r\n\r\nWhy Do Some Guys Not Climax From Oral Sex?\r\n\r\nWhile not orgasming might be a pretty straightforward conclusion — it’s simply the absence of an orgasm — determining why you didn’t cum can be tricky.\r\nIt’s a situation that could be caused by any number of different things: physiological factors, psychological factors, or factors completely unrelated to you. That being said, Lords highlights “stress, tension and worries that weigh on your mind,” as potential reasons you wouldn’t be able to finish.\r\n“If something from work keeps interrupting your thoughts, it’s very difficult to focus on the pleasure you feel,” she points out.\r\nRELATED: How to Be a Better Lover\r\nNot only can the presence of stressful thoughts push out the sexy ones, if you’re anxiety-ridden, you might be activating the sympathetic section of your brain’s autonomic nervous system. Basically, it’s the part of your psyche that’s responsible for harnessing your fight-or-flight mode into action.\r\nBecause of how humans are wired, if your brain’s in anxiety mode, you’ll genuinely struggle to maintain your arousal, making it near impossible to actually climax.\r\nRELATED: The Science Behind How Erections Work\r\nAlso, there are any number of medical or physiological reasons why you might struggle to either achieve or maintain an erection, and those can act as a barrier to reaching climax during oral. If you’re concerned about that, and it doesn’t appear to be linked to your mental state, talking to your doctor about your erection issues is a good idea.\r\nThen, of course, there’s the possibility that your partner’s oral sex technique isn’t matching up with what you need.\r\n“Some partners move too fast, others too slow,” says Lords. “You might want more sensation, or less. Without the right level of what you enjoy, it’s more difficult to orgasm.”\r\nJust remember that while it might be easy to blame your partner for being “bad” at blowjobs, in reality, pleasure is a two-person game. In order for your partner to get you off, they have to know what works for you — meaning communication plays a huge role.\r\n\r\nWhat Should You Do If You Struggle to Climax From Oral Sex?\r\n\r\nIf you’ve been struggling to climax from oral sex — whether with a single partner or with multiple partners — your frustration is probably at an all-time high.\r\nWhether your partner swallows, spits your ejaculate out, or you cum on them, yourself or somewhere else, that explosion of semen can feel like a hard-earned victory. After a while, not being able to make it happen can begin to feel genuinely demoralizing.\r\nTo help get over the hump, here are a few tips for making sure your next blowjob experience is a successful one:\r\nAdjust Your Attitude\r\nOne way to address that frustration? Don't focus so much on what you don't have. At the end of the day, there’s much more to sex than just blowjobs, and there’s more to blowjobs than orgasming.\r\nIf you can accept that not every sex act works for every person, you can enjoy the sensation of your partner going down on you without feeling like you need to cum. You’ll be able to appreciate the act for what it is, rather than judging it against what you think it should be.\r\nOpen the Lines of Communication\r\nIf you feel like you typically climax from oral but haven’t been able to as of late, there are a few things you can try to help. For starters, you’ll want to talk to whoever it is that’s going down on you — and be honest about it.\r\n“Most people are conditioned to believe a blowjob should be all a guy needs, including your partner,” says Lords. “If you need more than that or something’s missing in your partner’s technique, talk about it.”\r\nRELATED: Not Satisfied by the Sex? Here's How to Talk About It\r\nIt might feel awkward to open up about what you want, but good communication is the foundation of good sex. “Just like your partner should be able to tell you what they need to get off,” adds Lords, “you should be able to do it with your partner, too.”\r\nAsk for What You Like\r\nInstead of being negative about what isn’t working, you should focus on what you do like.\r\n“Start by letting them know how good it feels,” suggests O’Reilly. “All lovers enjoy positive reinforcement. Tell them how much you love the way it feels, the way it sounds and the way it looks when they go down on you. Give compliments before, during and after.”\r\nRELATED: How a Yes/No/Maybe List Could Revolutionize Your Sex Life\r\nBeing vocal is your best bet. If you don’t say what you like, how will they know?\r\n“Let them know what you want in order to reach orgasm from oral,” adds O’Reilly. “Do you need more pressure at the base? Do you want more playfulness with the tongue around the head and frenulum? Do you need a faster or more rhythmic pace? Give them gentle directions during sex or tell them what you want as a precursor to sex.”\r\nShow Them What You Like\r\nOf course, some people are more visual learners. That’s where actually showing them what works can come in handy.\r\nRELATED: The Top Porn Moves You Shouldn’t Try in Real Life\r\n“Feel free to show them what you want with your hands,” notes O’Reilly. “Don’t grab them by the back of the head (unless you know they like that), but take your hands and guide their hands. Use you hips to gently lead the pace, rhythm and depth. Be mindful of their throat, of course, and encourage them to use their hands as an extension of their mouth, or use yours in their place.”\r\nAdjust the Pressure\r\nAs previously mentioned, a lot of what makes a blowjob work is pressure — specifically, getting just the right amount. Too much will be painful; too little will make for a boring experience.\r\n“Some penises require more pressure — especially at the base along the lower third of the shaft (sometimes referred to as the orgasmic platform),” says O’Reilly. Many people don’t use enough pressure during blowjobs because they’re physically strenuous; their jaw, lips and mouth get tired quite easily. You can address this by adding your hands into the mix and using lots of lube.” \r\nOn the other hand, the issue might be that there’s not enough pressure in the right places. \r\n“Some penises want deeper pressure,” adds O’Reilly. “Once again, you address this by using your hands as an extension of your mouth (or asking your partner to do this). Slather your hands in lube. Attach them to your mouth, and you can ‘deep throat’ without gagging.”\r\nAdjust the Rhythm\r\nIf it’s a rhythm issue? We’ve got the solution for that, too.\r\n“Some penises simply require more stimulation and greater speed at a rhythmic pace,” explains O’Reilly. “If this is the case, consider using a vibrator. You can use a flat vibe to stimulate the inner bulb of the penis by pressing it right behind the balls along the perineum, or you can use a vibrating ring at the base.”\r\nThen there’s the issue of rhythmic consistency — like, say, your partner’s efforts tailing off before you can get in the right headspace.\r\nRELATED: Can Men Orgasm Without Ejaculating?\r\nThe important thing to remember is that not orgasming from a blowjob isn’t a terrible fate.\r\nIt could mean that blowjobs just aren’t for you, or it could mean it’s something for you and your partner to work on together. Whatever it is, hopefully the story has a happy ending (in every way possible).\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tKegel Exercises for a Better Orgasm\r\n\tHow to Make Semen Taste Better\r\n\tHow to Increase Semen Volume", "keywords": "Why, Some, Guys, Struggle, Orgasm, From, Blowjobs", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/why-some-guys-struggle-to-orgasm-from-blowjobs/askmen-lead-image-template-1690549192.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/why-some-guys-struggle-to-orgasm-from-blowjobs.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-20 09:50:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41706", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Become a Male Porn Star", "title_slug": "how-to-become-a-male-porn-star", "title_hash": "17cb2304ec5173e26990d0a4def91232", "summary": "If you'd like to stop watching porn and start starring in it, heed the advice of porn pros Ashlynn Brooke and Shane Diesel.", "content": "It's no secret that men love to watch porn, but a surprisingly large number of guys also dream of joining the adult industry. If you're already fantasizing about sex with strangers on a regular basis, is it so much of a leap to ditch your 9-to-5 and enjoy the real thing?\r\nTrouble is, the adult industry isn't as easy or glamorous as it appears from your computer screen. There's a lot of hard work behind the scenes, and it takes a special kind of person to perform under pressure (not to mention in a crowded room, with multiple lights and cameras capturing the action). Besides, the average unaware guy has a lot of questions about the job itself. \r\nRELATED: How to Increase Semen Volume\r\nIs a large penis necessary, or can you make do with a very firm, aesthetically pleasing one? Is there such a thing as too big, too thick or too long? Does it help to have had more partners in the past, or is inexperience not a bad thing? Do you need to be a certain age? How about a certain physical build?\r\nWith so much uncertainty as to how you could get involved, it’s easy to find the whole thing pretty confusing. What you should know is that there’s actually a pretty common (and simple) way to fast-track your career as a male porn star, and that’s by dating a female porn star.\r\nAs porn actress Julia Ann explains, \"Getting into the industry isn't as easy for men as it is for women. It has always been that the most common way men became actors was when they were dating female actresses and they wanted to shoot together.\"\r\nIf your current partner is already shooting, you might have yourself a potential ticket to pornographic stardom. If not, well, it might be a little trickier. Aside from it being a pretty selective industry, the road to becoming a big name isn’t exactly the easy-peasy-penis-squeezy thrill ride you might be imagining.\r\nJust like Hollywood, breaking into porn will probably involve hard work, perseverance, some insider connections, and a sprinkling of good luck.\r\nIf you’re curious where to start, AskMen spoke to the talented Ryan Driller, a bona fide male porn star, about his story.\r\n\r\nHow a Real Porn Star Got His Start in the Industry\r\n\r\nIf you speak to most celebrities, regardless of what medium or sector they happen to be in, they will explain that getting to the top wasn’t a walk in the park. For Ryan Driller, the experience was a bit of a checkered one. About a decade ago, he retired from what he called the “traditional office gig,” logging in 40 hours a week and pulling out a new button-up to wear Monday through Friday. Once he walked out of those corporate doors for the final time, he decided to embark on a new journey that led down the polar-opposite path.\r\n\"I had learned that doing what makes me happy will leave me much happier and successful,” he says. “So, since I'd always thought about getting into porn, and had the time and means to do so, I started looking into getting into the industry.\"\r\nRELATED: Four Adult Film Stars Revealed Why They Really Chose XXX\r\nDriller started out by applying to companies he knew from being a consumer (more on that later), but ultimately turned to Craigslist's “Adult Gigs” to build his network of contacts. \"From there, the producers and others on set would share my information with other productions they were on, and I kept getting booked more and more,\" he explains.\r\n\r\nWhat Porn Companies Should Men Apply To?\r\n\r\nThere’s plenty of preparation that goes into switching from one job to another, especially if it’s a new industry that happens to be X-rated. While you might have touched up your resume to land that first full-time job out of college, if you're going to build your career in porn, Driller says applying to companies is frankly a waste of time — if you're a man, that is.\r\n\"As a guy, there are no porn companies that you apply to. Trust me, I've tried. I'm on set with producers and not one of them has seen your email,” says Driller. “When a porn site, company or performer gets a 'give me a shot' email or direct message, they get trashed before they get opened. The assumption is, your email has some micropenis attached to a pot belly, and your grammar never exceeded second grade.\"\r\nWhile that may or may not be an exaggeration, he notes that when he met with a producer at a Naughty America event, she was putting his email address in her phone when a message from him sent 15 months prior popped up. \"She laughed that she never opened it or looked at it, throwing it away with the 200 others she receives every day,\" says Driller. This is how he knew that this might just be his big break.\r\nRELATED: Want to Understand How Erections Work? We Explain Everything\r\nInstead of going straight to the big companies that produce and market porn, Driller says getting involved with an agency is a better and more successful path. \"Start with three photos, face, full body and a clothed picture. If they like your introduction, then they'll ask for the other stuff and maybe you'll be able to go on their site,\" he says.\r\n\"You may then be thrown into a 'content trade' scene with one of their girls who is shooting content for her personal website. You won't be paid for this, but you will be put onto a real set, and shot with the production there to see if you can perform. You'll get a copy of the content for your own site for when and if you build one.\"\r\n\r\nHow Do You Pick a Stage Name?\r\n\r\nMany years ago, when porn was still a relatively new sector of entertainment (and definitely not something you searched for online at any given moment), having the right name was really important. It was a way to shield actors from being discovered by their friends and family long before Google and Facebook got rid of privacy.\r\nThese days, Driller says stressing about your name is an old-school way of thinking. There's no way to hide from your adult film star life, so you might as well own it. \"A stage name no longer matters,” he adds. “Just to be honest. Thanks to social media, Google, your ex and/or her friends, and your former high school classmates, you're going to be called out, and the internet is going to announce your real name everywhere, anyway.”\r\n\r\nWhat to Consider Before Doing Porn\r\n\r\nUnlike becoming a teacher, a fireman or even building a career in law, the porn industry isn’t exactly something you’ll write home to your parents about. Some might not even respect your decision. This makes it important to be fully committed before you act out a single scene, or take off one item of clothing.\r\nIf you're prepared to take on the ebbs and flows of the porn industry, Driller says it's important to take time to consider the personal and professional ramifications of making one specific body part your claim to fame:\r\nTell People First\r\nInstead of having several uncomfortable conversations with your loved ones, pony up and let them in on your dirty secret from the get go. \"First, tell your girlfriend, your mom, her mom, and your sister that you're doing porn,” says Driller. “They're going to find out the day your first scene is released, anyway. Do you want it to come from your ex, her boyfriend, your neighbor, or her boss? So, think about that conversation.\"\r\nHave a Plan\r\nWhile actors and musicians can perform well into their golden years, for adult film stars, the same isn't always true. There will come a time when you no longer want to (or are invited to) make videos, so considering your future employment is a smart idea.\r\nIf you decide you want to go into a new field after doing porn, it might not be as easy of a transition as you would have hoped. \"Think about what you want to be doing in five years,” says Driller “Are you OK with probably never getting to do that? If you fail at porn, you won't be [directing porn] in five years. If you want to be a teacher, you won't be doing that in 10 years. Porn is less taboo, but porn will close just about any door where you have to work for someone else.\"\r\n\r\nWhat Are Some Tips for Getting Into Porn?\r\n\r\nOnce you've accepted the reality of the career, exploring the industry will be confusing and, at times, disappointing. However, there are some ways to get you more auditions and gigs to build your portfolio. Here, Driller shares his pro tips:\r\nMove to Las Vegas, Los Angeles, or Miami\r\nYour small town probably isn’t going to have an open casting audition for an orgy that’s mass produced and shared virally. Pack your bags! \"If you're serious about getting into the industry, you have to be located in one of these three cities,” notes Driller “You are not going to be booked or hired far out, for a while. Chances are, for the first year, the majority of your bookings are going to be day-of, when you get an email that says, 'Get to this location, now, if you want to work.'\"\r\nLet Go of Your Ego\r\n\"Being a guy in the industry is awesome, awful, and humbling all at the same time,” says Driller. “As a guy, you're there to make the girl look good, and deliver the scene that is needed. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you are never going to be noticed, or publicly recognized, or thought about on set, other than to make sure that you can deliver what's expected. What's expected is not necessarily what you want, like, or are thinking about. The industry does not need you, personally; they need a male performer.”\r\nShow That You're Dynamic\r\n\"You need to be ready to do whatever is asked of you when you're asked to do it,” he adds. “You have to prove that you can give Naughty America what it wants, versus giving Digital Playground what they want. If you can't, then there's a whole line of guys behind you that can.\"\r\n\"The reason you only see so many guys in your porn is because we've shown that we're reliable and consistent. We've proven that we can take the direction and be thrown into whatever situation they want. The producers know what they're getting with us, and aren't having to take a gamble on whether or not the new guy can deliver. That's why you won't be booked until last minute at first, when no one else is available. You won't even be alone at first, just so that when you fail, there's someone else to take over.\"\r\n\r\nHow Safe Is Porn?\r\n\r\nOver the past several years, the industry has fought several bills and measures attempting to mandate condoms and a variety of safe-sex practices for porn productions, claiming these would harm performers and workers. When it comes to his line of work, Ryan Driller considers porn to be “safer than 90 percent of the general public’s attitude and behavior toward sexual activity.”\r\n“In porn, we monitor our health on a consistent basis so as to reduce the spread of any issues among our own,” he notes. “No, a test is not a protective measure, other than its knowledge. I know that when I was tested five days ago, I did not have anything. So, should I test for something next week, I know that it came from some time within that window. I can alert those I worked with to hopefully let them get treated and not spread further. They can do the same thing, too. Generally speaking, the industry is safe, in my mind. We look out for one another. We make sure we're all aware and comfortable, and safe.\"\r\n\r\nWould a Porn Star Recommend Doing Porn?\r\n\r\nWhile it might seem like porn stars are living the kind of dream your teenage self always yearned to have come true, Driller says that while he'd recommend watching porn, he wouldn't necessarily advise it as a career path.\r\n\"I love my job. I'm here because I want to be here. I don't need to be here. I've worked in 'the real world' and I've followed my own path everywhere. I thought about all the ramifications and possibilities that could happen in pursuing porn. I've had the conversations with my family and friends. I know what I got myself into and what I'm doing,\" he says.\r\n\"But the moment that you're labeled a porn star, your credibility is gone, your morality is seen as faulty and compromised, your intelligence is questioned, and your well-being is doubted. I do not recommend it for anyone unless they absolutely know and want to be here. If you're just considering it, you don't belong. If you think you'd be OK, you don't belong. If you've really wanted to be in porn but just aren't sure, then you don't belong. If you don't have a backup plan, you don't belong. You have to be ready and willing to do anything, and to run when you need to, too.\"\r\nThe bottom line? Really consider all of the possibilities, along with what you really want out of life before you get naked in front of a camera.\r\n\r\nHow Much Do Male Porn Stars Make?\r\n\r\nAs with any entertainment job, salaries vary quite a lot depending on the fame of the performer, but average pay does tend to be lower for male porn stars than for female porn stars, for obvious reasons.\r\nAccording to Shira Tarrant, a professor at Cal State Long Beach and author of \"The Pornography Industry,\" male performers can expect to make $50 per scene on the low end for a simple blowjob scene, all the way up to $1,000 for a gay sex scene. The average heterosexual sex scene, according to her data, pays between $200 and $600, depending on the prestige of the production company. To put those numbers into context, both the director, the camera operator and the lighting crew can expect to earn more money than the average male porn star. To earn just $30,000 a year — close to the median annual income – a male porn star just starting out in the industry would have to shoot a whopping 150 scenes.\r\nWhat does this mean for you? If you're looking to earn a living, you're probably better off operating the camera or looking for work outside of the porn industry. But if you've got another source of income, or just want to dip your toes into the world of adult entertainment or live the life of a porn star, by all means, go for it.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Sexual Health & Sex Education Resources\r\n\tHow to Not Cum So Fast\r\n\tBest Sex Swings & How to Use Them Properly", "keywords": "How, Become, Male, Porn, Star", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "137", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/money/how_to_400/436_how_to/askmen-lead-image-template-1-1687183607.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/money/how_to_400/436_how_to.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-20 09:50:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41703", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin: How to Not Give a F*ck", "title_slug": "how-to-be-comfortable-in-your-own-skin-how-to-not-give-a-fck", "title_hash": "7c05bbc443478c1b5586e35eed18fccf", "summary": "Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin can be a long process. But it’s beyond worth it for your happiness. Here’s how to stop giving a fuck.\nThe post How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin: How to Not Give a F*ck is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.", "content": "

Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin can be a long process. But it’s beyond worth it for your happiness. Here’s how to stop giving a fuck.

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We all care far too much about what other people think of us. Some care more than others. But to a degree, we all have other people’s opinions in the back of our minds when we do something. That’s why knowing how to be comfortable in your own skin isn’t very easy.

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We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. That’s no way to live. At a certain point in your life, you have to take a look at yourself.

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Are you living the life YOU want or are you pandering to what other people expect of you? If it’s the latter, then you really need to stop giving a fuck about what they think. [Read: 41 signs & steps to stop caring what people think & start living your life]

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The Psychology of Self-Acceptance

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If you’ve ever felt like you’re wearing an outfit that’s just not ‘you,’ awkward and out of place, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with being comfortable in our own skin, wondering how others seem to wear their authenticity with such ease.

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Self-acceptance is a foundational block of our mental health. Think of it as being at peace with who you are – warts, quirks, and all. It’s about acknowledging your weaknesses while embracing your strengths.

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This acceptance is vital because it’s the bedrock upon which our sense of well-being rests. Without it, we’re like ships without anchors, easily swayed by external opinions and societal norms.

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So, what shapes this comfort level with ourselves? For starters, societal expectations play a significant role. From the moment we’re born, society bombards us with ideas of what’s acceptable, desirable, or ‘normal.’ [Read: 33 secrets to be true to yourself & 15 signs you need to unfake your life]

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The constant stream influences how we see ourselves and, often, how we believe we should be. But there’s more to it than just societal norms. Personal experiences, especially those from childhood, significantly impact how we view ourselves. A nurturing environment can foster self-acceptance, while a critical or unsupportive one can do the opposite.

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Take Carl Rogers’ notion of ‘conditional positive regard,’ for instance. He suggested that we often seek approval from others to form a favorable view of ourselves.

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Reliance on external validation can erode our self-acceptance. On the flip side, ‘unconditional positive regard,’ where we accept ourselves regardless of others’ opinions, lays the foundation for true self-comfort.

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Another key player is self-esteem. It’s our emotional evaluation of our worth. High self-esteem doesn’t mean arrogance, it’s about acknowledging your worthiness without dismissing others.

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Low self-esteem, however, can trap us in a cycle of self-criticism and doubt, making it hard to be comfortable in our own skin. [Read: Positive self talk: What it is, where it comes from & how to master it]

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Self-awareness is equally crucial, too. It’s about understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The more aware you are, the better you can navigate your path to self-acceptance. It’s like having a map of your inner world. Without this awareness, it’s easy to stray from what truly resonates with you, leading to discomfort and inauthenticity.

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Being comfortable in your own skin is like unlocking a superpower that positively impacts various aspects of your life.

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Why You Should Stop Caring About What Others Think

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Perhaps the need to be liked and accepted is something innate to us humans, but when the desire for external validation overshadows our own authenticity, it’s time to reassess.

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Seeking approval can be a natural instinct, yet overdoing it can lead us down a path where our happiness becomes heavily dependent on others’ opinions.

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1. It Only Holds You Back

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This is the biggest reason to stop giving a fuck about what others think. You’ll never get very far in life trying to please everyone. In fact, it’ll hold you back from your full potential.

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You have so much to offer, but not everyone will like it. If you stop caring and just focus on you, you’ll have far more success. [Read: Signs your past is only holding you back]

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2. Caring Only Hurts Your Self-esteem and Confidence

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Do you want to feel crappy about yourself? No! We’re sure you want to know how to be comfortable with yourself and that starts by not caring about what others think. If you’re always thinking about someone else’s opinion of you, you’ll never be confident.

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3. Nobody Else Knows Your Life and Story

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So basically, they have no place to judge. Nobody knows what’s going on in your life. They have absolutely no reason to have any opinion of your life. So why care about what they think?

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4. Most People You’re Worried About Don’t Care About Your Well-being

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If you’re always worried about your image or how others will react to your decisions, you’re probably not thinking about the people who care about you. Because those people would never want you to sacrifice your happiness just because of them. [Read: 20 commons signs you’re a people pleaser]

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5. Their Opinion Doesn’t Matter

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Truthfully, this is the golden ticket and why you should never care about what other people think. Unless they’re someone close to you who’s worried about you, their opinion doesn’t matter.

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Everyone has thoughts and opinions about others nowadays, but they just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

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How to Be Comfortable With Yourself and Start Loving Who You Are

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Learning to accept who you are and be okay with you is like finding heaven – the noises stop, the anxiety stops churning, and you finally feel okay. It’s a state of inner peace where you’re in harmony with yourself, but let’s be real, it’s easier said than done, right?

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This journey of self-acceptance and comfort isn’t an overnight transformation. It’s a process, a series of steps and realizations that lead you to embrace and love who you are. Here’s how you can start:

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1. Shut Down Reoccurring Thoughts About What Others Think

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This will take some time to get right, but you have to try. Whenever you have a thought like, “but what will people think if I…,” stop yourself and think positively.

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You can actually retrain your brain this way. After enough practice, you’ll stop giving a shit about what other people think altogether. [Read: Is your negative thinking ruining your life?]

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2. Stop Picturing How Others Will React

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Instead, picture how you’ll feel. Will it make you happy to do it? Then go for it. This is a tough thing to do all the time, but it’s crucial if you want to know how to be comfortable with yourself.

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Your opinion is the only one that matters. So the next time you want to do something, ask yourself if you will be happy. Only YOU. If the answer is yes, go for it.

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3. Set Standards for YOURSELF Only

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Set standards and expectations for yourself. But ONLY for yourself. Feeling comfortable with who you are is about loving yourself and being happy with your life. If you meet your own standards, you’ll always be happy.

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4. Compare Yourself to Your Past Self

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The only person you should try to be better than is your previous self. If you really want to be happy with yourself, then this is the only kind of comparing you need to do.

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When you only focus on being better than you were yesterday, you’ll learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: How to become a better person with 9 golden rules]

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5. Focus on Your Own Health and Happiness

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This is crucial for being comfortable with yourself. Your health and happiness should come first. Once you realize what you need in life to be happy and healthy, you’ll be comfortable with who you are.

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6. Surround Yourself With Positive People

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Only people who lift you up and make you happy should be allowed in your life. Their positive energy will rub off on you. If you surround yourself with people who love you, you’ll understand why you should be happy with who you are.

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7. Realize That There’s Never Going to be Someone Like You

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No matter how prettier or smarter someone else is, they will never be you. Even if someone is more creative or better at something you enjoy, they’re still not you.

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There will never be another person who is the unique combination that you are. If you realize that the one thing that makes you great is that you’re 100% unique, it’ll help you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: Ways to build self-confidence and realize your worth]

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8. Realize That No One is Perfect

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Some of us have an inner drive to be perfect. We think that if we can just get everyone to like us and be perfect, then we will feel comfortable with who we are and then we can start to accept ourselves.

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The thing is, that to be comfortable in your skin, it isn’t about trying to be perfect. It is about accepting the fact that you aren’t perfect, but neither is anyone else. Give yourself the same license to be less than perfect that you give everyone else in your life to be comfortable in your own skin.

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9. Do the Things You Love

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This might not seem like it’s related to learning how to be comfortable with yourself, but it really is. Hobbies are important. Having passion is important. Those things you love so much are what make you who you are. Being happy with yourself has a lot to do with being able to express yourself through your passions.

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10. Take Care of Your Body

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We know this might seem a little superficial, but it’s not. When you exercise and eat well and take care of your body, it repays you. Not only will you look better, you’ll feel better.

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When you start realizing just how beautiful and strong you are, it’ll help you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and even your libido]

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11. Understand That Everyone Has Things About Themselves That They Don’t Like

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Everyone, and we mean everyone, has things about themselves that they don’t like. The hottest girl to the most gorgeous guy is hiding an insecurity about themselves that you don’t know about.

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That we can guarantee. To feel comfortable in your own skin, sometimes it is nice to know that you aren’t alone. We all have things about ourselves that we wish we didn’t have, or things that we wish we did. [Read: Signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]

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12. Know the Secret That We All Have Times When We Re-think and Question Ourselves

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Yep, everyone rethinks things in their lives and continually questions who and what they are. It is okay. It is totally human to wonder about who you really are, if you are a good person, and if you are doing the right thing.

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We all do it. To find acceptance for yourself, you have to know that you are not the only one who struggles with themselves pretty frequently.

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13. Come to Terms With the Fact That We All Have “Crazy”

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We all have a crazy side. Not the kind of wild and crazy, the sheer crazy. If you think that you are the only one keeping the crazy in, you are dead wrong. We all self-monitor our behaviors and fight our inner nutcase!

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14. Don’t Let Anyone Tell You Who or What You Are

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If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you have to stop letting other people tell you who you are. If you have been labeled the fat girl, or butter face, or the skinny guy, stop internalizing it.

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When all is said and done, your skin doesn’t define who you are, the inside does. And, that is where you have to feel comfortable, living inside it, not by worrying about what is on the outside. [Read: Why is inner beauty more attractive than outer beauty? + How to get that inner glow]

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15. Stop Thinking That There is an Ideal Person

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There is no such thing as the ideal person. We all make mistakes, we all have imperfections, we all do stupid things, and we all fuck up once in a while. Stop trying to be ideal and just be you.

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Life is much happier when you stop trying to be what everyone else wants, and you be who you want.

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16. Do the Right Thing Guided by Your Moral Compass

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If you do things in life that you feel alright with and always follow your moral compass, then you will find comfort in your own skin.

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Often, we don’t feel comfortable because we aren’t true to what we think is right or we are letting someone else guide us. Always guide your speech and behavior by what you know in your heart is right, and you will find inner peace and acceptance.

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17. Forgive Yourself For Whatever You Did in the Past

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To be comfortable in your own skin, sometimes you have to forgive yourself for things you have done in the past. Forgive yourself for not being as thin as you want to be, for losing a friend, or for whatever it is that you are holding onto.

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Sometimes forgiving other people is much easier than forgiving yourself. If you do, however, you will find that you will like yourself a whole lot more and be comfortable in your own skin. [Read: How to respect yourself – secrets of self-worth and self-beleif]

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18. Let Go of Past Hurt

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Not being comfortable in your own skin can come from being teased when you were younger or having an overly critical parent. To feel comfortable with who you are, you have to let go of your past and stop dragging it into a bright future. You can’t change what happened before, but you can stop it from tainting your future.

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19. Redefine Yourself

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If you aren’t comfortable in your skin, then redefine who you are and who you want to be. We all tell ourselves a story about who we are, so tell yourself a different story. Create a new story about who and what you are, and your life will change to match, I promise… it is really true.

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20. Start Each Day With a Clean Slate

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Stop over-analyzing or bringing up the past to move forward and find acceptance for yourself. Even if you messed something up yesterday, today is a whole new day to do things differently.

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So, start each new day as if you are going to set the world on fire and you will find the confidence you need to meet each new challenge. [Read: How to make each day count and more meaningful]

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21. Make Incremental Changes to the Things You Don’t Like

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If there is something that you don’t like about the way you look or who you are, then it might be making you not feel good in your own skin.

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Don’t become overwhelmed by setting unrealistic goals to becoming who we want to be. Make a promise to yourself to make one small change every day. Whether your goal is to lose weight or be a better person, make one small improvement every day, and soon you will find that you are exactly who you want to be.

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22. Hang Out With People Who Make You Feel Comfortable

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Sometimes being uncomfortable in your own skin stems from being in relationships that don’t make you comfortable. If you want to be more comfortable, then hang out with people who foster you, make you feel good and confident, and who provide you unconditional love. [Read: Bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

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23. Figure Out Who You Are and Who You Want To Be

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Figure out what it is about yourself that makes you uncomfortable and work on it. Is it that you don’t like the way you look? Change it. Is it that you talk too much, then practice being silent.

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Only you can change what you don’t like about you and is making you uncomfortable. So, stop procrastinating, figure it out, and do what it takes to find your inner confidence.

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24. Stop Being a Pleaser

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If you aren’t comfortable in your own skin because you are constantly trying to please everyone around, then stop. The only person’s happiness that you are responsible for is your own.

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If you stop trying to please everyone else, you will be surprised at how quickly the focus on you will transform your life and allow you to find acceptance for yourself. [Read: People pleaser – 20 common signs most people just don’t see]

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25. Go With the Attitude of “It’s on Them”

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Adopting the attitude of “it’s on them” can be incredibly freeing. If someone disapproves of you or something you’ve done, yet you are at peace with yourself, the issue lies with them, not you.

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This mindset shift is empowering. It acknowledges that while you can control your actions and attitudes, you can’t control how others perceive or react to you. When you’re okay with yourself but someone else isn’t, it’s a reflection of their perspective, not your worth.

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26. Find Your Own Style

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If you are trying to be trendy or someone that you aren’t, then stop. Part of being comfortable in your own skin is being comfortable with your style and what you are wearing. Wear what makes you comfortable and just be yourself! [Read: How to make yourself happy – 20 habits of incredibly happy people]

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27. Do Things You Want To Do

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If you feel uncomfortable in certain circles or doing things like going to clubs, then stop going. Part of being comfortable in your own skin is about doing what you want to do and saying no when you don’t. Be honest, and you will stop feeling the inner turmoil.

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28. Give Yourself Self-Affirmations

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Giving yourself self-affirmations might feel a bit awkward at first, but its effectiveness is backed by research. When you regularly affirm your worth and capabilities, it can lead to significant positive changes in your mindset and behavior. Studies have shown that self-affirmations can reduce stress, increase well-being, and even improve performance.

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This practice works by reinforcing your self-identity and values, which in turn boosts your self-esteem and confidence.

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When you affirm yourself, you’re essentially reprogramming your thought patterns, shifting from negative, self-doubting thoughts to more empowering and positive beliefs. If you speak it, you live it. It really is that easy.

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29. Fake it Until You Make it

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This popular phrase is widely known for a reason. It works. If you don’t know how to be comfortable with yourself, pretend you are. If you do this long enough, you’ll have retrained your mind to actually and truly be happy with you. It might take some time, but it’s worth it. [Read: Achieving self-acceptance in 10 little steps]

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Benefits of Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin

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Now, this isn’t just about being okay with the reflection in the mirror. Being comfortable in your own skin is like unlocking a superpower that positively impacts various aspects of your life. Here are ten amazing benefits that come with embracing who you are:

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1. It’ll Improve Your Mental and Emotional Health

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When you’re comfortable in your own skin, your self-esteem naturally gets a boost. You start to value yourself more, not because of external achievements or validations, but simply for being you.

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This creates a positive feedback loop where increased self-esteem further enhances your comfort with yourself. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

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2. Your Relationships and Social Interactions Will Benefit, Too

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Worrying about what others think or trying to meet impossible standards can be exhausting and anxiety-inducing. Once you’re comfortable with yourself, this anxiety significantly diminishes. You become more relaxed and at ease in various situations, knowing that you are enough just as you are.

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3. Enhanced Authenticity

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There’s an undeniable authenticity that shines through when you’re at ease with yourself. You make choices that align with your true self, not swayed by fleeting trends or peer pressure. This authenticity is refreshing and can be deeply inspiring to those around you.

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4. Improved Mental Health

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Comfort with oneself is closely linked to overall mental well-being. It lowers the risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety, as you’re less likely to dwell on negative self-talk or get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to others. [Read: Signs of anxiety: How to read the signs ASAP & handle them better]

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5. Stronger Relationships

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When you know and accept yourself, you bring a stronger, more genuine version of yourself to relationships. This self-awareness and confidence can deepen connections with others, as you’re more open, honest, and less defensive in your interactions.

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6. Resilience Against Life’s Challenges Will Strengthen

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Being comfortable in your own skin equips you with resilience. You’re better able to handle life’s ups and downs because your sense of self isn’t constantly rocked by external circumstances. Resilience is key to navigating life’s challenges with grace.

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7. Decision-Making Becomes Easier and More Effective

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With a strong sense of self comes better decision-making. You understand your values, preferences, and boundaries, making it easier to make choices that serve you well. It can lead to more fulfilling and effective paths in both personal and professional life.

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8. Increased Happiness and Fulfillment

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There’s a profound sense of happiness and fulfillment that comes from being at peace with who you are. You’re not constantly chasing someone else’s idea of success or happiness; instead, you find joy and satisfaction in your own unique journey. [Read: 52 happy habits and ways to find happiness within yourself & feel better]

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9. Better Mindset For You

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When you’re comfortable with yourself, your fear of failure diminishes. You see failures as opportunities to learn and grow, not as a reflection of your self-worth. That mindset encourages you to take risks and embrace new opportunities.

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10. You’ll Become an Inspiration to Others

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Lastly, being comfortable in your own skin isn’t just beneficial for you, it can be deeply inspiring to others. Your comfort and authenticity can encourage those around you to embark on their own journeys of self-acceptance, creating a ripple effect of positivity.

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Don’t Waste Your Days in Self-doubt

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You don’t want to look back one day and realize that you never truly appreciated and celebrated who you are. You have this one life – it’s too precious to spend it bogged down by others’ opinions or by being hard on yourself. [Read: Self loathing: What it is, 25 signs & how to stop hurting yourself]

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Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin is a vital life lesson. Don’t waste your days in self-doubt or concern over how others perceive you. Instead, invest that time and energy in loving who you are and living your life to its fullest potential.

The post How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin: How to Not Give a F*ck is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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All men love beautiful women and would love to have one on his arm. There’s nothing with that. But here are the signs of a trophy girlfriend.

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Yes, you’re beautiful! But now you’re wondering about the signs of a trophy girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with your beauty, but what’s wrong is when a man is only with you for that one reason. You’re more than your face or body, right?

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You have a brain, a sense of humor, and a kind heart—you’re a person. If he doesn’t see you as a whole person but rather someone with a pretty face, that’s a problem.

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So, here are the signs you are a trophy girlfriend. [Read: Signs he’s interested in you for all the wrong reasons]

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Blatant Signs You Are a Trophy Girlfriend

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Sadly, not everyone goes into a relationship for the same reason. Though you may be in it for love, he may not be in it for that reason.

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Now, not all guys are like this. But there are some guys who are into boosting their ego by having a good looking woman stand next to them.

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Sure, when you read that line, you probably felt flattered by the idea that someone would want to be next to you.

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This isn’t because of you, it’s because of how you make them look and feel. He may buy you everything you want, but there’s a price.

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You better keep up the standard because he needs to look good. Ugh, isn’t this the 21st century? [Read: 20 ways to spot a prick when you’re talking to a guy]

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1. No Talks About the Future

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If a guy really likes you, there’s no problem talking about the future with you. But if he’s not, then that is the first sign that you might be a trophy girlfriend.

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This doesn’t mean talks about marriage but it could be about traveling or even your plans for the next weekend. If he doesn’t think of any short-term or long-term plans with you, he’s not serious.

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2. You Feel Like a Rebound

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If he just got out of a relationship, the chances are very high that you’re a rebound. They basically get a good-looking woman by their side while getting over their latest breakup.

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Now, dating someone after being in a relationship isn’t a bad thing, in some cases it’s not a rebound. But, in reality, he’s probably scared to be alone. [Read: Ways to know you’re in a rebound relationship]

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3. You Never Met His Friends

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He has friends, everyone has at least one friend. The funny thing, though his proclaimed girlfriend, you never met his friends—not one. If he’s not introducing you to people important to him, it’s one of those big signs you are a trophy girlfriend and nothing more.

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He wants to show you off to the world but doesn’t want you to get to know his friends, because he’s not thinking of anything long-term with you.

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4. You’re a Girlfriend When He Needs You to Be

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A healthy relationship needs to move forward. It doesn’t need to progress at the speed of light, but it should move forward. [Read: Main types of narcissism and 18 steps to treat and help a narcissist change]

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If your relationship isn’t progressing, he likes having you as a convenient date. He may call you his girlfriend to his parents or friends, but you don’t feel like one.

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5. No Deep Conversations

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With some people, you speak about deep and serious topics. But with him, he likes everything light. A progressing relationship talks about serious things whether it’s about family, friends, or the relationship itself.

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If there are no serious discussions going on between you, it’s because he doesn’t see you capable of having one nor does he want to have one with you. [Read: 36 shallow traits that a superficial person just can’t hide]

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6. He Likes to Go with the Flow

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How convenient, right? Keep your eye on this, because it’s one of those subtle signs you are a trophy girlfriend in his eyes.

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If everything with him is about going with the flow and taking things day by day, he’s either way too laid back or he’s just using you to get attention until he finds someone else.

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He may tell you that he’s a man that lives in the present which is a load of shit. If he’s always up in the air it’s because you’re not a priority to him, trust me, he has plans and you’re not in them. [Read: Never make someone a priority when you’re only an option – the truth]

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7. They’re in Love with Themselves

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When you sit next to them, they’re busy on their phone, texting whoever is on the other end. They don’t ask about your day or how you feel.

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But when you ask them, they have no problem giving you long answers without ever shooting the question back at you. It’s because they don’t actually care about you. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]

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8. He Doesn’t Include You

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See, he makes plans, but you’re not included in them unless he wants his ego boosted. When you are with him, you feel like a nuisance or a tag-along. He talks to other people, but you end up just standing wrapped around his arms in silence.

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9. There’s No Respect

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If you feel disrespected it’s because you’re a trophy girlfriend. Respect is one of the most crucial elements in a healthy relationship.

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Thus, if he’s not giving you respect but still wants to be with you, then it shows he doesn’t really care about you but rather likes the image of you. [Read: 36 Signs of disrespect in a relationship that reveal a lack of love and respect]

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10. He Doesn’t Know Much About Your Life

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Simply because he doesn’t ask. If he wanted to know more about you, he would ask.

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But he just keeps things basic because he’s not interested in getting to know you. You’re just an ego boost until the next girl comes along.

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11. He Only Ever Compliments You on Your Looks

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It’s all about your looks with him. He always compliments you on your clothes or hair, but the compliments never go deeper than that. And that’s definitely one of the signs of a trophy girlfriend. [Read: 22 secret signs you’re dating a self-obsessed egomaniac]

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If he only tells you that you’re beautiful— which you are, don’t doubt that— but if he can’t compliment you on other attributes you have, it’s because he doesn’t pay attention or worse, doesn’t care.

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12. He Wants to Control Everything

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If you feel the controlling vibes, first of all, it’s a red flag on its own. But additionally, if he makes you feel like you live in his world, it’s because it is his world.

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You’re just a pawn, just someone to make him look good and successful in front of other people. [Read: Controlling people – 32 common traits, signs, and ways to deal with them]

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13. His Profile is All About You

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There are tons of photos of you all over his social media. Why? Because you’re gorgeous and he wants to show you off.

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But, here’s the thing, he wants to show you off because it makes him look good. It shows everyone else that he’s capable of getting girls like you to date him.

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14. You Never See Him

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And when you do see him, it’s for an event or for sex. You don’t go for romantic walks on the beach. You don’t spend all day talking to each other. In fact, you don’t even know what he does during the day. [Read: Clear signs you are in a narcissistic relationship]

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15. You’re Always ‘On Display’

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It’s as if you’re part of his curated collection, displayed at social events or gatherings. He takes pride in showing you off, but there’s little to no personal interaction that goes beyond the surface.

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You’re there for the image, not for the emotional connection, making you feel more like an exhibit than a partner.

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16. Your Relationship Feels Like a Publicity Stunt

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Each date or outing seems meticulously planned for its social media appeal. It’s as if your relationship is a series of photo ops, where capturing the perfect image for his followers takes precedence over creating genuine memories together. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]

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17. Luxury Over Love

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He’s generous with gifts and indulgences, often of high monetary value, but scrimps on emotional availability.

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You’re adorned with material possessions, which can feel flattering initially, but soon you realize that these are substitutes for real affection and intimacy.

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18. No Interest in Your Ambitions

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In conversations, your goals and dreams are often glossed over or ignored. [Read: 38 Signs and traits of a happy, healthy relationship and what it should look like]

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He’s more focused on how the relationship benefits his image rather than fostering mutual growth. Your achievements, no matter how significant to you, are sidelined in favor of his interests.

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19. You’re Excluded from Serious Discussions

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Whether it’s his business dealings or personal issues, you’re kept at arm’s length. This exclusion from parts of his life that matter creates a disconnect, emphasizing the superficial nature of your role in his life.

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20. He Dictates Your Appearance

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He often offers unsolicited advice or directives about your look, suggesting or insisting on outfits and styles. This control over your appearance is a way to mold you into the perfect accessory that complements his image. [Read: How to respect yourself – 37 secrets of self-respect, self-belief, and self-love]

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And of course, it makes sense that it’s one of the biggest signs of a trophy girlfriend!

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21. Social Gatherings Feel Superficial

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At parties or events, you notice that your interactions with others are mostly shallow, often revolving around superficial compliments or flaunting your relationship status.

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Genuine, deeper conversations are rare, leaving you feeling more like a showpiece than a participant. [Read: 40 Very deep questions to ask someone before you get close to them]

\n\n\n\n

22. Your Achievements are Overlooked

\n\n\n\n

He rarely acknowledges your professional or personal successes. In the dynamic of being a trophy girlfriend, the spotlight is constantly on him, and your accomplishments are either downplayed or ignored, which can be demoralizing.

\n\n\n\n

23. There’s a Pattern of Similar Exes

\n\n\n\n

A glance at his dating history reveals a string of past partners who all seem to fit a certain aesthetic or social criterion. This pattern indicates a preference for surface-level attributes over diverse, meaningful connections.

\n\n\n\n

24. You Feel Replaceable

\n\n\n\n

The relationship dynamics make you feel as if you’re just another piece in a collection, easily substituted if you fail to meet his expectations. [Read: Emotional abuse – what it is and 39 signs this relationship is breaking you]

\n\n\n\n

This creates an underlying sense of insecurity and inadequacy, impacting your self-esteem.

\n\n\n\n

25. Your Relationship is Skin Deep

\n\n\n\n

The foundation of your relationship seems to be built more on physical attraction and social appearances rather than on emotional depth or intellectual compatibility.

\n\n\n\n

The lack of deeper, meaningful connection leaves the relationship feeling hollow and unfulfilling. And it is definitely one of the signs of a trophy girlfriend. [Read: Loveless relationship – 54 signs, causes, reasons, and steps to fix it ASAP!]

\n\n\n\n

The Psychology Behind Seeking a Trophy Girlfriend

\n\n\n\n

Ever wondered why someone would want a trophy girlfriend? It’s more than just about having a stunning partner on your arm; there’s a whole psychology fair going on behind the scenes. Let’s dive into the quirky yet complex reasons behind this phenomenon.

\n\n\n\n

1. Desire for Status and Prestige

\n\n\n\n

It’s like having a designer handbag, but in human form.

\n\n\n\n

Some folks think having a good-looking partner is the ultimate status symbol – kind of like a walking, talking Rolex that says, “Look at me, I’ve made it!” It’s the age-old tale of using beauty to bag some bragging rights.

\n\n\n\n

2. Low Self-Esteem

\n\n\n\n

Imagine needing a human mirror to remind you how great you are. That’s what some do with trophy girlfriends. [Read: High self-esteem – 33 low signs, what hurts self-worth, and secrets to pump it]

\n\n\n\n

They’re like personal cheerleaders, boosting their partner’s confidence one compliment at a time. It’s like wearing stilts to look taller – but with emotions.

\n\n\n\n

3. Narcissistic Traits

\n\n\n\n

For the selfie-obsessed soul, a trophy girlfriend is like the ultimate filter. They’re not just dating, they’re curating an image. These partners are more about reflecting glory than sharing love – sort of a ‘look at my shiny object’ mindset.

\n\n\n\n

4. Fear of Intimacy

\n\n\n\n

Why dive deep when you can stay in the shallow end? That’s the motto for those who choose a trophy girlfriend to avoid the messy, complicated bits of a deep relationship.

\n\n\n\n

It allows them to maintain a facade of connection without risking vulnerability. By keeping relationships superficial, they protect themselves from potential emotional pain and maintain control over their emotional landscape. [Read: Intimacy issues: What it looks like, 39 signs, causes & tips to date with it]

\n\n\n\n

5. Control and Power Dynamics

\n\n\n\n

Some see relationships as a chess game, and a trophy girlfriend is the queen – sort of. It’s about calling the shots and having the upper hand, where the girlfriend is more of a carefully moved piece than a partner.

\n\n\n\n

6. Influence of Media and Cultural Stereotypes

\n\n\n\n

Thanks to movies and magazines, the trophy girlfriend is as glorified as a superhero – minus the cape. [Read: Realistic romance movies that can teach you a lot about love]

\n\n\n\n

Society’s big, glossy handbook on ‘success’ often includes having a partner who looks like they’ve just stepped off a runway.

\n\n\n\n

7. Peer Pressure and Social Comparison

\n\n\n\n

Keeping up with the Joneses but with relationships. It’s like a competition where your girlfriend is the scorecard. Nothing says ‘winning at life’ like having someone by your side who’s constantly turning heads.

\n\n\n\n

8. Fear of Aging and Mortality

\n\n\n\n

A younger partner is like an elixir of youth for some. It’s their way of thumbing their nose at time, saying, “I’ve still got it!”

\n\n\n\n

A trophy girlfriend here is less of a partner, more of a walking, talking anti-aging cream. [Read: Age gap in relationships – 42 truths about dating someone older or younger]

\n\n\n\n

9. Validation of Masculinity or Femininity

\n\n\n\n

For those stuck in traditional gender roles, a trophy girlfriend is like a badge of honor. It’s their way of saying, “Look, I’m the real deal when it comes to masculinity/femininity.” It’s less about the person and more about what they represent.

\n\n\n\n

10. Escape from Personal Issues

\n\n\n\n

When life gets tough, why not get a trophy girlfriend? It’s like using a shiny object to distract from the real issues. She becomes a glittery escape route from having to face up to personal demons.

\n\n\n\n

Pros and Cons of Being in a ‘Trophy’ Relationship

\n\n\n\n

Whether you’re considering the role of a trophy girlfriend or find yourself in one, it’s essential to weigh the benefits and drawbacks. [Read: How slow is too slow in a relationship? 46 signs, ways to deal, and must-knows]

\n\n\n\n

Pros

\n\n\n\n

Hey, if being a trophy girlfriend makes you feel like you’re on top of the world, there’s definitely something to it. More than the glitz and glamour, there are some undeniable perks that come with the role.

\n\n\n\n

Let’s take a peek at the brighter side of being the arm candy and what it might bring to your life. [Read: Hero instinct – what it is and 23 secrets to trigger its power to elevate your man]

\n\n\n\n

1. Enhanced Social Status

\n\n\n\n

Being a trophy girlfriend often means entering higher social circles. You get to attend exclusive events, mingle with influential people, and enjoy the limelight, which can be exhilarating and open new doors.

\n\n\n\n

If that’s your thing, then might as well enjoy the perks and make the most of the opportunities that come your way.

\n\n\n\n

2. Material Benefits and Comfort

\n\n\n\n

There’s no denying the allure of material comforts. Luxury gifts, exotic vacations, and a lavish lifestyle are often part and parcel of being a trophy girlfriend, offering a taste of the high life.

\n\n\n\n

3. Boosted Self-Esteem Initially

\n\n\n\n

Initially, the attention and validation can be a significant boost to self-esteem. Being chosen for your attractiveness and charm can feel flattering and affirming. [Read: How to date when you have low self-esteem and find true happiness]

\n\n\n\n

4. Networking Opportunities

\n\n\n\n

In connection, being a trophy girlfriend also gives you an opportunity to network with influential individuals, which can be highly beneficial for your career or personal projects.

\n\n\n\n

These relationships often open doors to exclusive events and social circles where you can make valuable connections. Engaging with high-profile people can provide unique insights, collaborations, and opportunities that might otherwise be out of reach.

\n\n\n\n

5. Learning New Social Skills

\n\n\n\n

Here’s the thing about being arm candy: you always get to socialize, and regardless of how shallow these connections may be, you get introduced to new social circles and develop your social and diplomatic skills.

\n\n\n\n

Navigating high society helps you learn how to engage with different personalities, handle various social situations, and build a network. These skills can be valuable in various areas of your life, enhancing your personal and professional relationships and boosting your confidence in social settings.

\n\n\n\n

Cons

\n\n\n\n

But let’s not forget, every silver lining has a cloud. While being a trophy girlfriend might have its perks, it’s not without its drawbacks. [Read: New relationship doubts – 22 toxic and normal signs to read what you feel]

\n\n\n\n

Let’s delve into the other side of the coin and explore the less glamorous aspects that come with this role. It’s time to look beyond the surface and see what lies beneath the sparkle.

\n\n\n\n

1. Lack of Emotional Depth

\n\n\n\n

The biggest drawback is often the superficial nature of the relationship. As we mentioned, this is one of the big signs of being a trophy girlfriend. Emotional intimacy and genuine connection might take a backseat to maintaining appearances, leading to a sense of emotional unfulfillment.

\n\n\n\n

2. Risk of Objectification

\n\n\n\n

Being valued primarily for your looks or status can lead to feeling objectified. This dynamic can impact your self-worth and mental health, as you’re seen more as an accessory than an equal partner. [Read: Disrespectful boyfriend – 17 subtle signs and the best ways to deal with him]

\n\n\n\n

3. Potential Isolation

\n\n\n\n

Such relationships can be isolating. You know, another thing about being a trophy girlfriend and meeting a lot of people is that only a few, if any, of them are genuine connections.

\n\n\n\n

You might find yourself distanced from friends and family or unable to form meaningful relationships within your new social circle which can lead to feelings of loneliness and a lack of true emotional support, despite being surrounded by people.

\n\n\n\n

4. Dependency Risks

\n\n\n\n

Relying on someone for lifestyle perks can create financial or emotional dependency, leaving you vulnerable if the relationship ends.

\n\n\n\n

5. Impact on Future Relationships

\n\n\n\n

Being a trophy girlfriend can affect how you’re perceived in future relationships. [Read: 26 Honest steps to let go of someone you love and move on and find peace]

\n\n\n\n

It can be challenging to shift from a dynamic where you’re valued for superficial qualities to one where emotional depth is prioritized.

\n\n\n\n

Moving Beyond the Trophy Narrative

\n\n\n\n

If you find yourself wearing the “trophy girlfriend” sash and yearn for a relationship with more substance, it’s time to redefine your role. Here are ten tips to help you transition from being seen as just a trophy girlfriend to a valued, equal partner.

\n\n\n\n

1. Develop Your Interests and Hobbies

\n\n\n\n

Engage in activities that reflect your passions and interests. [Read: 28 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

\n\n\n\n

This not only adds depth to your personality but also shows that you are more than just a pretty face. It’s about creating an identity that’s rooted in what you genuinely love and are passionate about.

\n\n\n\n

2. Assert Your Opinions

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Don’t shy away from expressing your thoughts and opinions in the relationship. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and open communication. By voicing your views, you establish yourself as an equal partner, not just a trophy girlfriend.

\n\n\n\n

3. Pursue Personal Goals

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Focus on your personal and professional goals. [Read: 26 Whys and ways to surround yourself with positive people and remodel your life]

\n\n\n\n

Achieving your aspirations shows your partner and the world that you are an individual with ambitions and talents beyond the surface-level attributes of a trophy girlfriend.

\n\n\n\n

4. Seek Emotional Depth

\n\n\n\n

Initiate deeper conversations about feelings, dreams, fears, and experiences. What this does is it helps build emotional intimacy, which is crucial in transforming the dynamic of the relationship from superficial to substantive.

\n\n\n\n

5. Set Boundaries

\n\n\n\n

Establish what you’re comfortable with in the relationship. Setting boundaries is a sign of self-respect and helps prevent you from being treated merely as an accessory in someone else’s life. [Read: 23 Secrets to set personal boundaries and guide others to respect them]

\n\n\n\n

6. Encourage Mutual Activities

\n\n\n\n

Suggest activities that you both enjoy and can experience together. Shared interests create stronger bonds and highlight the importance of companionship over appearances.

\n\n\n\n

7. Educate Yourself

\n\n\n\n

Knowledge is empowering. Read, learn, and stay informed. Being well-informed and articulate can help dismantle the trophy girlfriend stereotype and demonstrate your intellectual capabilities.

\n\n\n\n

Of course, you’re under no obligation to prove anything to anyone, but empowering yourself through education can boost your confidence and personal growth. It also equips you with the tools to engage in meaningful conversations and stand out beyond superficial judgments.

\n\n\n\n

8. Be Financially Independent

\n\n\n\n

Strive for financial independence. [Read: What to do if your partner makes more money than you]

\n\n\n\n

Having your own financial stability ensures that you’re in the relationship by choice, not necessity, and it dismantles the power imbalance often seen in trophy girlfriend dynamics.

\n\n\n\n

9. Communicate Your Aspirations

\n\n\n\n

Be open with your partner about wanting more from the relationship. Discuss your desire for mutual respect, growth, and depth.

\n\n\n\n

Honest communication can sometimes turn the tide and set the foundation for a more balanced and fulfilling partnership. [Read: 31 Communication exercises and games for couples and secrets to feel closer]

\n\n\n\n

10. Nurture Other Relationships

\n\n\n\n

Lastly, maintain strong connections with friends and family. If you find yourself as a trophy girlfriend, that doesn’t have to be the only label you live by.

\n\n\n\n

You’re also an amazing sister, an intelligent officemate, and so much more. Keeping these relationships strong shows that you have a support system and a life outside of the relationship, reinforcing your individuality.

\n\n\n\n

Being a Trophy Girlfriend Isn’t Just About the Glitz and Glamour

\n\n\n\n

Now that we’ve illuminated the signs of being a trophy girlfriend, it’s time for a little self-reflection. Are you finding yourself in this role?

\n\n\n\n

If you’re feeling more like a decorative piece than a cherished partner in your relationship, it might be a signal to rethink your current romantic situation. [Read: Breakup advice – 22 things to do after a breakup to feel great and hate less!]

\n\n\n\n

Understand your worth and seek a relationship where you’re valued for who you are, not just what you look like. Remember, you deserve a partner who sees and appreciates the full spectrum of your unique qualities, not just someone who displays you as an emblem of their success. [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

\n\n\n\n

So, now you know the signs of a trophy girlfriend. It could be time to step out of the shadows and into a connection that truly shines a light on your individuality and worth if you’re not in one.

The post 25 Blatant Signs You Are a Trophy Girlfriend & Being Used as an Arm Candy is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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$\"Couple$

The antidote to loneliness and social isolation is connection.

The post Isolation in the Digital Era: The Power of Human Relationships appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Isolation, the, Digital, Era:, The, Power, Human, Relationships", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/GettyImages-999978978-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/isolation-in-the-digital-era-the-power-of-human-relationships/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 14:29:06", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41154", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Heartbreaking CCTV recording Diddy assaulting his ex Cassie in recently released surveillance footage (video)", "title_slug": "heartbreaking-cctv-recording-diddy-assaulting-his-ex-cassie-in-recently-released-surveillance-footage-video", "title_hash": "565fbd3126ed5c8477e22e46f2e42a56", "summary": "Shocking footage shows Sean “Diddy” Combs punching and kicking his former girlfriend Casandra “Cassie” Ventura, in a hotel hallway in 2016. The footage, captured from multiple angles and obtained by CNN, shows the music mogul chasing Ms Ventura down the hallway in a towel, before attacking her near the elevators. He then attempts to […]", "content": " $\"Heartbreaking$

Shocking footage shows Sean “Diddy” Combs punching and kicking his former girlfriend Casandra “Cassie” Ventura, in a hotel hallway in 2016.

The footage, captured from multiple angles and obtained by CNN, shows the music mogul chasing Ms Ventura down the hallway in a towel, before attacking her near the elevators.

He then attempts to drag her back down the corridor.

The incident allegedly took place in the InterContinental Hotel in Century City, Los Angeles.

CNN verified the location based on publicly available photos of the former hotel’s interior.

After pushing Ms Ventura to the ground, Combs retrieves a purse and suitcase from the floor near the elevators. He turns around and kicks her again as she lies on the floor.

Ms Ventura is later seen in the footage slowly standing up and gathering items from the floor before reaching a hotel phone on the hallway wall near the elevators.

Combs, still in a towel and socks, returns.

A mirror directly across from the security camera shows Combs pushing Cassie Ventura. He is then seen throwing an object at her.

$\"Heartbreaking$

Accordinng to CNN, Combs later paid the InterContinental Century City $50,000 for the hallway security footage.

The video appears to corroborate several allegations made in a lawsuit brought by Cassie Ventura in 2023, in which she claimed she was trafficked, raped and beaten by Combs on many occasions over 10 years.

According to the complaint, which cited the altercation as occurring “around March 2016,” Combs became “extremely intoxicated and punched Ms Ventura in the face, giving her a black eye.”

After the mogul fell asleep, Ms Ventura had attempted to leave the hotel room, but he woke up and “followed her into the hallway of the hotel while yelling at her,” the complaint said.

“He grabbed at her, and then took glass vases in the hallway and threw them at her, causing glass to crash around them as she ran to the elevator to escape,” it stated.

The lawsuit also claimed that Combs brought the singer into his “ostentatious, fast-paced, and drug-fueled lifestyle” not long after she met him, and signed her to his label in 2005 when she was just 19 and he was 37.

Ms Ventura said that the pattern of abuse began as soon as their relationship started and that, as she was trying to end it in 2018, he forced himself into her Los Angeles home and raped her.

The lawsuit against Combs was settled a day after she filed it for an undisclosed amount of money.

Ms Ventura told CNN at the time she had chosen to “resolve this matter amicably,” while Combs’ attorney said the settlement was “in no way an admission of wrongdoing” and didn’t change his denial of the allegations.

Watch the assault video released by CNN below.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1791516240965701917

Do you have a story to share? Send to us on Whatsapp +2348029870309 We want to hear all about it or email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com

", "keywords": "Heartbreaking, CCTV, recording, Diddy, assaulting, his, Cassie, recently, released, surveillance, footage, video", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "126", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Heartbreaking-CCTV-recording-Diddy-assaulting-his-ex-Cassie-in-recently-released-surveillance-footage-video.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/heartbreaking-cctv-recording-diddy-assaulting-his-ex-cassie-in-recently-released-surveillance-footage-video/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 14:28:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41153", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Israeli army finds bodies of 3 hostages, including Shani Louk", "title_slug": "israeli-army-finds-bodies-of-3-hostages-including-shani-louk", "title_hash": "46eb900040d50d5c8db447888e2a1201", "summary": "JERUSALEM (AP) — The Israeli military said Friday its troops in Gaza found the bodies of three Israeli hostages k!lled by Hamas during its Oct. 7 attack, including German-Israeli Shani Louk. A photo of 22-year-old Louk’s twisted body in the back of a pickup truck ricocheted around the world and brought to light the scale of […]", "content": " $\"Israeli$

JERUSALEM (AP) — The Israeli military said Friday its troops in Gaza found the bodies of three Israeli hostages k!lled by Hamas during its Oct. 7 attack, including German-Israeli Shani Louk.

A photo of 22-year-old Louk’s twisted body in the back of a pickup truck ricocheted around the world and brought to light the scale of the militants’ attack on communities in southern Israel. The military identified the other two bodies as those of a 28-year-old woman, Amit Buskila, and a 56-year-old man, Itzhak Gelerenter.

All three were killed by Hamas while fleeing the Nova music festival, an outdoor dance party near the Gaza border, where militants killed hundreds of people, military spokesman Rear Adm. Daniel Hagari said at a news conference.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called the deaths “heartbreaking,” saying, “We will return all of our hostages, both the living and the dead.”

The military said the bodies were found overnight, without elaborating, and did not give immediate details on where they were located. Israel has been operating in the Gaza Strip’s southern city of Rafah, where it says it has intelligence that hostages are being held.

Hamas-led militants killed around 1,200 people, mainly civilians, and abducted around 250 others in the Oct. 7 attack. Around half of those hostages have since been freed, most in swaps for Palestinian prisoners held by Israel during a weeklong cease-fire in November.

Israel says around 100 hostages are still captive in Gaza, along with the bodies of around 30 more. Israel’s war in Gaza since the attack has killed more than 35,000 Palestinians, according to Gaza health officials.

Netanyahu has vowed to both eliminate Hamas and bring all the hostages back, but he’s made little progress. He faces pressure to resign, and the U.S. has threatened to scale back its support over the humanitarian situation in Gaza.

Israelis are divided into two main camps: those who want the government to put the war on hold and free the hostages, and others who think the hostages are an unfortunate price to pay for eradicating Hamas. On-and-off negotiations mediated by Qatar, the United States and Egypt have yielded little.

Do you have a story to share? Send to us on Whatsapp +2348029870309 We want to hear all about it or email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com

", "keywords": "Israeli, army, finds, bodies, hostages, including, Shani, Louk", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Israeli-army-finds-bodies-of-3-hostages-including-Shani-Louk.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/israeli-army-finds-bodies-of-3-hostages-including-shani-louk/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 14:28:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "41152", "lang_id": "1", "title": "SoCal district to pay $360K to teacher who was fired after refusing to follow transgender policies", "title_slug": "socal-district-to-pay-360k-to-teacher-who-was-fired-after-refusing-to-follow-transgender-policies", "title_hash": "4943b4e49634994e5c2c253637eda482", "summary": "A Riverside County school district has agreed to pay $360,000 to settle a lawsuit from a former teacher who was fired last year after refusing to adhere to policies regarding transgender or gender-nonconforming students, citing her Christian beliefs. Jessica Tapia, who taught physical education at Jurupa Valley High School, claimed in her wrongful termination lawsuit […]", "content": " $\"SoCal$

A Riverside County school district has agreed to pay $360,000 to settle a lawsuit from a former teacher who was fired last year after refusing to adhere to policies regarding transgender or gender-nonconforming students, citing her Christian beliefs.

Jessica Tapia, who taught physical education at Jurupa Valley High School, claimed in her wrongful termination lawsuit that her free speech and religious rights had been violated. She had refused — hypothetically, in statements to district personnel — to use students’ preferred pronouns, to allow them to use the locker room matching their gender identity, or to “withhold information” from parents about their child’s gender identity, according to the federal lawsuit.

The Jurupa Unified School District did not admit any wrongdoing, but agreed to pay Tapia $285,000, as well as $75,000 for her attorneys’ fees, according to the settlement agreement signed Tuesday. Tapia also agreed not to seek future employment with the district, and both sides agreed to not disparage each other or file future lawsuits.

Julianne Fleischer, one of Tapia’s attorneys, called the settlement an “incredible victory.”

“Her religious beliefs were not accommodated when they could have been,” said Fleischer, legal counsel for Advocates for Faith & Freedom, a Murrieta-based nonprofit religious liberties group. “We think it sends a strong message that there’s a price to pay when you ask a teacher to lie and withhold information.”

Jacquie Paul, a Jurupa Unified spokesperson, said the settlement was a “compromise of a disputed claim.”

“The decision to settle this case was made … in the best interest of the students, such that the district can continue to dedicate all of its resources and efforts to educate and support its student population regardless of their protected class,” Paul said in a statement.

The case is just one of several lawsuits challenging how the rights of transgender students, their parents and teachers should be balanced — disputes that have formed the backbone of California’s education culture wars.

Under California’s anti-discrimination laws, federal and state laws, a transgender or gender-nonconforming student’s identity should not be shared, including with their parents, without the student’s permission, according to the California Department of Education.

But in Tapia’s case, her attorneys argued there was never an instance when she didn’t abide by school and state policies, because it never came up in her tenure.

Instead, her termination stemmed from several of her social media posts, which students found offensive and reported for their content about transgender people and religion. When school officials asked her to curb her social media activity and agree to follow certain district policies regarding transgender students’ privacy and rights, she refused, citing her Christian beliefs.

Tapia requested a religious accommodation, saying the district’s policies went against her beliefs “regarding human sexuality and lying,” according to her lawsuit.

Fleischer said her organization has respect for the transgender community, but this case affirms that “religious rights are not second class.”

Paul said the district will “continue to follow all local, state and federal laws, including laws against harassment and discrimination to protect its students and employees.”

Tapia was hired by the district in 2014, first as a substitute and later full time, and taught both middle school and high school physical education. She was fired in January 2023, according to the lawsuit.

Tapia publicly supported a bill last year that would have required teachers to disclose to parents if their child was gender-nonconforming or transgender. That bill has since died in committee.

She is now helping lead Advocates for Faith & Freedom’s new campaign called “Teachers Don’t Lie,” to support other educators who feel their faith is being compromised by school policies.

Source

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Omowunmi Aloba, the widow of late singer, Ilerioluwa Aloba, popularly known as Mohbad, has blamed her father in-law, Joseph Aloba, for being responsible for the failed autopsy test that could not ascertain the actual cause of the late singer’s death.

Recall that at the last Coroner sitting held in Lagos, the Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Wahab Shittu who is the legal counsel representing Mohbad’s family said that a pathologist, Prof. Sunday Osiyemi, said that the actual cause of the late singer’s death could not be ascertained, giving a number of reasons, including that the body had already decomposed as it took about 21 days before the autopsy was conducted.

When contacted for her reaction to the revelation by the pathologist, Mohbad’s wife, Omowunmi in an interview with Sahara Reporters, lamented in tears that she had been sad and heartbroken since Wednesday after the pathologist’s testimony in court. She accused her father-in-law of being responsible for the inability of the autopsy test to ascertain the cause of her husband’s death, lamenting that the late singer’s father ignored everyone’s plea and hurriedly buried her husband.

She argued that if Mohbad had not been hurriedly buried, “the autopsy would have been done and I would have known everything that happened to my husband”.

Recall that the 27-year-old singer died in controversial circumstances on September 12, 2023. He was buried the next day in Ikorodu. His body was however exhumed on September 21 for an autopsy to be carried out on it to determine the cause of his death.

Do you have a story to share? Send to us on Whatsapp +2348029870309 We want to hear all about it or email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com

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1. There is nothing that threatens the security of a wife than the thought of another woman competing for the attention and affection of her husband. Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting. Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

2. Marriage flourishes when the couple work together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score. Good marriages don’t just happen. They are a product of hard work.

3. Your children are watching you and forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you. Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

4. Husbands: The reason why other women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly. Any man can admire a beautiful woman, but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful.

5. When a husband puts his wife first above everyone and everything except God, it gives his wife the sense of security and honor that every wife hungers for.

6. A successful marriage doesn’t require a big house, a perfect spouse, a million dollars or an expensive car. You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage. A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment and selfless love and Jesus at the centre of it all.

7. Pray for your spouse every day; in the morning, in the afternoon and at evening. Don’t wait until there is a problem. Don’t wait until there is an affair. Don’t wait until something bad happens. Don’t wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your marriage with the fence of prayer.

8. The people you surround yourself with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

9. One spouse cannot build a marriage alone when the other spouse is committed to destroying it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work together as a team to build their marriage.

10. Don’t take your spouse for granted. Don’t take advantage of your spouse’s meekness and goodness. Don’t mistake your spouse’s loyalty for desperation. Don’t misuse or abuse your spouse’s trust. You may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you.

11. Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need Godly advice, seek it from God-fearing, impartial and prayerful mature couples whose resolve has been tested by time and shaped by trials.

12. Dear wife, Don’t underestimate the power of the tongue on your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up.

Don’t let the Dev!l use your tongue to k!ll your spouse’s image, self-confidence and aspirations.

Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage and bless and praise your spouse.

You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name

By Dr Tinashe Manzvii – Naturopath

Do you have a story to share? Send to us on Whatsapp +2348029870309 We want to hear all about it or email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com

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$\"strategic$ When you are “in the field” with women, it pays to be able to adapt your girl-getting strategies on the fly. Savvy strategic calibration helps you do this.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Contents

I. Calibration Questions

\n
Balancing All Factors: Meso-Calibration
\n
\n
Changing Strategies: Macro Calibration
\n

II. Examples

\n
Example #1: Physical Escalation
\n
\n
Example #2: Logistics
\n

III. Being Realistic

IV. Recap

My students seek coaching to learn new material and understand what material to use, when, and in what order. They leave knowing when and how to use all types of material in a seduction context.

It's essential information for a successful seducer. What differentiates the pro from the intermediate is that the pro has this snap that less experienced guys lack. And that snap comes from pristine timings.

Good timings come from using the right material at the right time. When you learn this, your material truly hits-you get 100 % of its effect. A mistimed use of material will make it come off much duller and you'll obtain weaker results. This type of calibration is meso calibration, which means knowing which techniques to use and when.

Pros typically deliver techniques smoothly and calibrated: not too much or too little of the good stuff. This falls into the micro calibration category.

The third dimension is micro calibration, which is choosing which overarching strategy to opt for. Did you select the right strategy for the venue tonight? Did you choose the right venue?

For more, read about the three dimensions in the first part of this series, here:

Strategic Calibration: 3 Levels of Seductive Adjustment

Today, I want to guide you through thinking about strategic calibration in-field. It may inspire you to find your own way of reflecting on calibration while out. Other experienced guys may think a bit differently from me, although I I believe their thoughts follow a similar pattern.

Below is an example of how I think about calibration in-field. It is only an example. I hope these examples inspire you.

Let's begin by reviewing a few questions to ask yourself in-field that will help you make better decisions.

\n\n\n

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$\"overcoming$ If you pause to approach from fear of what people may think (“She’s too young for him!” “They’re different races!” “He’s too short!”) it’s approach anxiety.

On my article about what to do when girls you approach say you’re too old, TheDude comments:

Age is a common reason men will hesitate to approach.

A girl might be too young for them, they think. Or a woman might be too old for them. People would judge them for it.

There are other reasons a guy might hesitate: a woman might have a boyfriend. She might be busy right now and not want to talk to someone. She might be in a bad mood. She might be an angry feminist who hates men! She might be listening to a song or a podcast she’s really into on her headphones and not want to be disturbed.

She might, she might, she might.

Nevertheless, for all these reasons, no matter how real the trepidation might feel, no matter how seemingly valid the reason to not approach, unless it is a strategic choice, it is still just approach anxiety.

\n\n\n

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We find Judge Reinhold in the bathroom taking care of business, only to have his private time interrupted by the girl of his fantasies, Phoebe Cates. “Doesn’t anyone knock anymore?”\r\nThis iconic scene spoke to men everywhere, and not because of that red bikini. No, it’s memorable because it captured every man’s worst nightmare: getting caught with his pants down.\r\nIf this has happened to you, you’re not alone. Studies have shown that over 41% of people have been caught in the act. I could get into some preventative measures (like locking the door, HELLO?!) but as we all know, bad timing happens.\r\nRELATED: How Do I Take a Good Dick Pic?\r\nSo if you do g", "content": "There are a few firsts that every guy remembers: His first erection, his first time seeing a naked woman, his first time “doing the deed” – and then there’s the one that no man forgets, even though he wishes he could: his first time caught masturbating.\r\nWho could forget the famous \"getting caught\" scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High? We find Judge Reinhold in the bathroom taking care of business, only to have his private time interrupted by the girl of his fantasies, Phoebe Cates. “Doesn’t anyone knock anymore?”\r\nThis iconic scene spoke to men everywhere, and not because of that red bikini. No, it’s memorable because it captured every man’s worst nightmare: getting caught with his pants down.\r\nIf this has happened to you, you’re not alone. Studies have shown that over 41% of people have been caught in the act. I could get into some preventative measures (like locking the door, HELLO?!) but as we all know, bad timing happens.\r\nRELATED: How Do I Take a Good Dick Pic?\r\nSo if you do get caught, here are my three tips to help you tackle this awkward situation like a pro, in the moment, immediately after, and most importantly, dealing with the aftermath.\r\nOne major caveat: these tips apply to you getting caught in the privacy of your own home by your partner, not in an office or public place by a complete stranger, which could involve much greater personal, professional and even legal consequences. \r\n\r\nIn the Moment: Don’t Be Ashamed\r\n\r\nIf someone barges into your solo session, your fear level escalates to a DEFCON 1. Your eyes often closed, you’re over-exposed — maybe holding a masturbation toy — and don’t get me started on the facial expressions.\r\nSo what to do if you’re in the heat of the moment when you get an unexpected audience? It’s completely acceptable to be alarmed. You may jump up, scream, dive into the nearest dark hole — and that’s okay.\r\nOnce you recover from your initial reaction (to cover up as quickly as humanly possible), don’t go into defensive mode. Getting defensive implies that you were doing something shameful, which you weren’t.\r\nYou were simply exercising your inherent right to self-love. We all do it; you just got caught, and now it’s time to address the naked elephant in the room. But first, you should probably put on your pants.\r\n\r\nImmediately After: Don’t Make It Awkward\r\n\r\nChances are, while you were going into self-preservation mode, your visitor excused herself and is now contemplating how to proceed.\r\nWhile your first instinct might be to deny, deny, deny (“I was checking for suspicious mole activity!”) or to avoid the person like the plague, it’s better to talk it out immediately.\r\nRemember that you control the tone of the conversation — it’s not awkward unless you make it awkward. Masturbation is completely natural, nothing to be embarrassed about. If you’re not embarrassed, then your intruder has no reason to be.\r\nIf she’s not happy with what she witnessed, you have some talking to do... but not because you necessarily did anything wrong.\r\n\r\nThe Aftermath: It’s Not Her, It’s You – and All Men, Really\r\n\r\nDepending on the nature of your relationship and her comfort with the situation, you might be able to laugh it off together, even joke about it. You can also explain that you were so turned on thinking about her that you “took the matter into your own hands.”\r\nHowever, if your partner is not as open-minded, does not masturbate regularly, and doesn’t understand why you need to, she might feel confused, alienated or even hurt by your solo activities. She believes all self-diddling should cease once you’re having sex with her exclusively.\r\nWhat many women don’t quite understand yet (but don’t worry, she will) is that masturbation and sex serve entirely different purposes for most men. They are not mutually exclusive activities\r\nTread lightly here guys. Men inherently experience masturbation and sex with their partner as separate actions fulfilling different needs. If she’s upset, confused and hurt, it's because she doesn’t comprehend why you need to masturbate and might even start doubting your relationship. She’ll wonder if the sex isn’t good enough or, worse yet, if she isn't good enough – and it's your job to ensure her that that's not the case.\r\nReassure her that you love the sex life you share and give some specific examples about the things she does that turn you on and how sexy she looks when she’s naked. She’s now in the vulnerable spot and needs to know that you’re not masturbating because you are unsatisfied with her.\r\nIf she caught you in the act watching porn, this might add another layer of conflict. You’ll have to explain that you don’t prefer the women in porn or any other women over being with her. Some women might even consider pornography consumption a form of cheating, and that will require a longer discussion between the two of you.\r\nBut if all you were doing was masturbating to your own thoughts and imagination, then you shouldn't feel automatically ashamed about it.\r\nRemember, masturbation should not make you feel guilty whether you’re in a relationship or single. Besides, many studies have shown that people who masturbate more have more satisfying sex lives. And sometimes even more sex. So it can’t hurt to toss in this important data as well!\r\nDr. Emily Morse is a sex and relationship expert with degrees in human sexuality and psychology. She runs the popular website sexwithemily.com and is the host of the top downloaded podcast Sex with Emily.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nSexy Alternatives to the Dick PickHealth Risks of Chronic MasturbationHow to Respond to a Nude Like a Pro", "keywords": "What, Youre, Caught, Masturbating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "143", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/caught-masturbating/askmen-lead-image-template-1715957717.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_tips/caught-masturbating.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 13:45:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40982", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What to Avoid Doing in an Argument With Your Partner", "title_slug": "what-to-avoid-doing-in-an-argument-with-your-partner", "title_hash": "01cb00fc1d4885b1c49ffdd85ae40157", "summary": "There are, believe it or not, constructive and healthy ways to fight. These ways do not rank among them.", "content": "Whether it’s over household chores, hurtful words, or how to decorate your new home, it’s inevitable that you and your partner will disagree from time to time. \r\nBut it’s how those relationship disagreements play out that really matters, experts say. Fight fair and you may even bounce back stronger than before. Make a few below-the-belt jabs and you could very well sabotage the trust, respect, and intimacy in your relationship.\r\nRELATED: Habits That Erode Trust in Relationships \r\n“Arguments can either strengthen the bond and lead to growth and forward movement or weaken the bond, fostering resentment and leaving issues unresolved,” explains Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, a therapist in private practice in Studio City, CA. \r\n“Productive arguing — perhaps better labeled as a discussion — involves open communication where both parties feel equally heard, active listening, validation of the other person's perspective, empathy, and a focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame, Goldberg notes. “Conversely, not-so-productive arguments leave both parties feeling misunderstood and doubtful that change will occur.”\r\nAccording to Dr. Nathan Baumann, a clinical psychologist based in Denver, CO, unproductive argument tactics often stem from a need to self-protect from uncomfortable emotions, and an urge to punish to prevent future hurt.\r\nRELATED: Why Never Fighting Is Actually a Red Flag\r\nSo, what specific argument techniques should you avoid? Therapists advise steering clear of the following problematic approaches.\r\n1. Character Assassination\r\nLet’s say you’re annoyed with your partner because once again, they came home later than they said they would without giving you a heads up.\r\nConfronting them by saying something like, “You’re so unreliable” or “You obviously don’t care about me” is straight up character assassination. In other words, you’ve made the fight about who they are as a person. This approach likely won’t be well received by your partner, so you’re probably not going to get the compassion and understanding you’re looking for, says Alyse Freda-Colon, LCSW, a therapist in private practice.\r\nInstead, try focusing on the specific incident at hand. “It made me feel disregarded when you didn’t let me know you’d be home late” hits a lot different than “You’re so selfish.”\r\n2. Digging Up the Past\r\nAs tempting as it may be to bring up previous times when your partner hurt you while in the midst of an argument, Goldberg notes that doing so may only escalate things by putting your partner on the defensive. \r\nRELATED: How to Handle a Relationship Argument \r\nNot only that, but it can divert the attention from the current issue, meaning you may never actually solve it. \r\nIf there’s a concerning pattern in your partner’s behavior, ideally you’ll want to bring it to their attention in the moment rather than waiting until your resentment builds up.\r\n3. Making Comparisons\r\nThink of it this way. How would you feel if, in the middle of a fight with your partner, they said “You know, Brad’s girlfriend would never do that,” or “Why can’t you be more like Cameron’s husband?” Probably pretty crummy, right? It’s not fair to compare your partner to other people, because no two relationships are the same.\r\n“Focus on your relationship's unique dynamics and work together to find solutions that align with your needs and values,” says Goldberg.\r\nRELATED: The 5 Conflict Styles & When to Use Them in Your Relationship\r\n4. Overgeneralizing\r\nHere are two words you’ll definitely want to avoid during arguments with your partner: “always” and “never.” \r\nAccording to Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist, making blanket statements about your partner’s behavior will land like an attack, automatically causing them to become defensive. Besides, there’s a good chance that they aren’t true.\r\n“Instead of generalizing, come up with a specific — and recent — example of your partner’s behavior and how it affected you,” says Lienna Wilson, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in private practice.\r\n5. Stonewalling\r\nRefusing to engage with your partner during a conflict — otherwise known as “stonewalling” or “the silent treatment” — is actually more destructive than you might think. \r\nThis might look like scrolling through your phone while your partner is trying to talk to you about an issue, neglecting to respond to their questions, or flat out walking out of the room, according to Nina Batista, LCSW, a therapist in private practice.\r\n“Stonewalling not only fails to resolve the problem but also makes the other person feel isolated and unimportant,” says Goldberg. \r\nSo, what should you do when you feel like you’re shutting down, or too emotionally flooded to address the issue at hand? Suzette Bray, LMFT, a licensed therapist in private practice, advises taking a time-out. \r\nThe key, though, is to tell your partner you need a few minutes to cool down and recalibrate rather than just storming out of the room and slamming the door.\r\n“The difference between taking some space to rethink or cool off and stonewalling is that the latter is closer to a punishment,” explains Baumann. “If stonewalling becomes a habit or a typical response to conflict, it can be hard to stop.”\r\nRELATED: Behaviors That Suggest You're Headed Toward Divorce \r\n“And stonewalling does not allow for the mutual and relational problem to be solved or collaborated on,” Baumann adds, “inevitably increasing the emotional distance between people and making it more unlikely you will ‘fight fairly’ in the future.”\r\n6. Triangulation \r\nIt’s one thing to ask a friend or family member for advice about a recent conflict with your partner. It’s quite another to ask that they text or call your partner to get them to do something.\r\nThis is known as triangulation, and it puts your loved ones in a super awkward position. Worse yet, it can also intensify the conflict at hand.\r\n \r\n“Keep intimate matters within the relationship and seek support from a trusted family member, friend, or therapist whom you both agree to involve,” says Batista.\r\n7. Deflection\r\n“Another destructive strategy is to pose oneself as being the innocent one,” says Dr. Brian Tierney, PhD, The Somatic Doctor. “It is far more effective to assume personal responsibility for one’s contribution to the escalation process.”\r\nAcknowledging what you could do better will only encourage your partner to do the same. Set a good example by showing that you can own up to your own role in the conflict.\r\nRELATED: How to Respectfully Disagree With Your Partner During Tough Times\r\nAfter all, the focus should be on coming to a mutual understanding rather than being right, says Bray. \r\n“Ask yourself: would you rather be right or happy?” she tells AskMen. “Being happy involves solving the problem so that the relationship can move forward.”\r\n8. Vigorously Defending Yourself\r\nWhen your partner is pointing out something you did that they didn’t like, it’s natural to feel a bit defensive. By justifying your own behavior, you can dodge some super unpleasant emotions like shame and guilt. The problem is, when you immediately become defensive, you send the message to your partner that their feelings are invalid.\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Recover From a Bad Fight With a Partner \r\n“It comes across as making excuses for your behavior, and not really caring about how it impacted your partner,” explains Batista. \r\nAs challenging as it may be, make it a point to really listen to your partner’s concerns and empathize with their emotional experience. This approach will help your partner feel seen and heard, thus allowing you to reach a resolution a whole lot faster — and that’s the ultimate goal, right?\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nMost Common Money Fights in Relationships and What To Do About Them8 Signs You're In a Healthy RelationshipRelationship Mistakes Not to Make", "keywords": "What, Avoid, Doing, Argument, With, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "156", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/149_better_living/askmen-lead-image-template-31-1715971264.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_100/149_better_living.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 13:45:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40983", "lang_id": "1", "title": "New Survey Explores Attitudes Toward Eco-Consciousness in Dating", "title_slug": "new-survey-explores-attitudes-toward-eco-consciousness-in-dating", "title_hash": "17b3d37700553177f9bf18059376e897", "summary": "Would You Date Someone Who Doesn't Care About the Environment? Many Wouldn't", "content": "The Story\r\nHow important is the environment to you? If you’re an average millennial or Gen Zer, you’re likely to say a fair amount. But what about in a dating context? \r\nThat’s what the app Flirtini wanted to find out in a recent study they conducted that asked people about the intersection of their eco-consciousness and their love lives. \r\nRELATED: Understanding Dating Green Flags \r\nThe Snapshot\r\nThe survey, which asked questions of nearly 1,200 millennial and Gen Z daters, found that a significant number of young people both care about the environment and want their romantic partners to as well. \r\nRELATED: Best Eco-Friendly Grooming Products for Men \r\nThe majority of respondents to the survey, regardless of whether they were millennial or Gen Z, prefer dates who volunteer in an environmentally friendly capacity, prefer dates who thrift their clothing, and view those who engage in environmentally harmful behavior as exhibiting red flags. \r\n\r\nMeanwhile, just under a full quarter of respondents would see such actions as a total deal-breaker. \r\nThe Lesson\r\nThough apparently acting on behalf of the environment can get you teased — fully two-thirds of respondents said they’d been ribbed at some point by a dating match about pro-environmental choices — roughly three-quarters of respondents said they were concerned about climate change. \r\nRELATED: Eco-Friendly Clothing to Check Out \r\nMeaning, though people may be jerks about it at times, overall, there’s a clear trend toward dating eco-consciously, and it’s one that’s shared by 20- and 30-somethings right now. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhy Guys Should Try a Vegetarian DietPro-Environment Behavior Linked to Gender Stereotypes Extroverts Are Less Environmentally Conscious, New Study Says", "keywords": "New, Survey, Explores, Attitudes, Toward, Eco-Consciousness, Dating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "133", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt-care-about-the-environment/askmen-lead-image-template-29-1715970171.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt-care-about-the-environment.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 13:45:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40984", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Electric Shavers", "title_slug": "best-electric-shavers", "title_hash": "f617d0e4ad8be786376a2bd60fb0a4a9", "summary": "Stop Deterring Women With Your Itchy Skin. Spruce Up Your Shave With These 10 Best Razors.", "content": "Back in the day, men reached into the medicine cabinet for a razor and standard can of shaving foam to achieve a smooth face. Now, the male grooming climate has evolved, and a new crop of electric shavers has entered the fold, becoming an essential shaving tool for the modern man.\r\nRELATED: Best Razors for Men\r\nNot only can these mechanical face clippers shave time and money off your grooming routine (adios, expensive blade refills!), but they are also delivering clean-cut trims that feel as good as a standard razor.\r\nNo one said shopping for a shaver was a cake walk through the pharmacy aisle. In fact, it can get quite overwhelming, especially when each machine claims it’s the “best shave ever.” Our guide gives you insight on what you should look for when shopping the endless list of electric razors available today.\r\n\r\nAre Electric Shavers Better?\r\n\r\nSkeptical that an electric shaver can meet your needs? Or that you even need one at all? We'll allow that a certain amount of subjectivity is involved in grooming preferences, and that some men really enjoy the lengthy routine of using a traditional straight razor to tame their daily facial hair growth, but electric shavers deserve your consideration.\r\nHere are some of the perks of switching to electric:\r\n\r\n\tFaster: You'll save precious time every morning by grooming with an electric shaver\r\n\tReduce skin irritation: Do you regularly suffer from ingrown hairs, cuts or nicks when you shave? Good news: electric shavers have a foil, that greatly reduces the chances of these facial disasters\r\n\tMobility: With a traditional razor, you're stuck near your shaving cream and running water, but with an electric razor, you're free to move around, or shave away from your bathroom\r\n\tStyle your stubble: Traditional razors don't offer you any control when it comes to your stubble. You're either hairy or clean-shaven. But electric shavers come with adjustable blade lengths, meaning you can engineer the stubble length you desire\r\n\tCheaper (in the long run): The upfront cost of an electric razor is nothing to sneeze at, and often deters people from taking the plunge, but the truth is, over the long run, electric razors are cheaper: you'll save on shaving cream and replacement blades, meaning the electric razor will pay for itself in no time\r\n\r\nDoes this make electric shavers \"better\" than traditional blades? That's up to you, but the benefits are undeniable.\r\n\r\nWhat to Look For\r\n\r\n\r\n\tCloseness: There is difference between using a beard trimmer to shave, and a proper electric razor. If you are looking for a clean shave, you won't be satisfied with something designed to take a beard down.\r\n\tComfort and convenience: You're buying this product to make life easier, not add time to your daily routine. Note the difference in lower priced models and their higher priced counterparts as well as traditional foil shavers versus rotary models.\r\n\tTechnology: Today’s crop of shavers are loaded with more hi-tech features than they used to be. Multifoil blades and more powerful motors are great upgrades, but come at a price.\r\n\tSpeed: Look for CPM (cycles per minute). The faster the cycles, the quicker the shave.\r\n\tBattery life: You shouldn’t settle for less than 50 to 60 minutes of power with cordless models.\r\n\tDurability: Increased lifespan justifies a higher price.\r\n\r\n\r\nFoil vs. Rotary\r\n\r\nFoil\r\nA foil design hosts oscillating blades within a thin layer of foil to lift hair away from the face, making for gentler shaves. The foil even lends itself to larger skin surfaces such as the top of the head. Many come in three- or four-blade options.\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tFaster cutting speeds\r\n\tCloser shaves\r\n\tMore precise execution\r\n\tBetter skin protection\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tNot as adaptable to facial contours\r\n\tWorks best when used in straight lines\r\n\r\nRotary\r\nThese models typically rely on flexible heads with spinning razors that work best for making tight turns across the face. They also work well for daily maintenance of a clean-shaven look. Such features also come with certain shaving compromises.\r\nPros:\r\n\r\n\tEliminates hair in difficult areas more easily\r\n\tConsidered a better overall performer by experts\r\n\tOffers more flexibility with minimal pressure\r\n\tSuitable for shaving every other day\r\n\tQuieter performance\r\n\r\nCons:\r\n\r\n\tMore prone to cause irritation\r\n\tNot designed for trimming and edging\r\n\r\nIn response to the growing trend of electric shavers, the market has seen an influx of models from some of the industry’s biggest players including Braun, Panasonic, Remington, and Philips Norelco, each sharing their own unique features. Some come equipped with rotary heads or multi-directional blades for precision cutting, others support dry and wet shaving. Then there are hybrid models that have features of both beard trimmers and standard electric razors.\r\nRELATED: How to Treat Razor Nicks and Cuts\r\nIf this all seems like a lot to handle, keep reading for our guide of the best electric razors you can buy right now.\r\n\r\nBest All-Purpose Electric Shavers\r\n\r\nPhilips Norelco OneBlade Face + Body\r\n\r\nIs it a razor? Shaver? Trimmer? Try all three. The OneBlade achieves the grooming trifecta (at a killer value) with an all-purpose design that allows users to edge, shave, and trim any length of hair. Philips has integrated a dynamic cutting head that operates at 200 passes per second with a dual-protection system that dices through longer strands without pulling the skin. The grip handle is impressive yet lightweight for the power it packs, with sturdy support to give users more confidence when shaving and a 45 minute life following a full charge.\r\n$62.99 at Amazon.com\r\nBraun Series 9 PRO+\r\n\r\n\r\nAlmost 100 years ago, German mechanical engineer Max Braun founded his eponymous brand. Braun has taken design and engineering very seriously ever since. This Series 9 PRO+ is a marvelous piece of electric shaving machinery, highlighted by its immaculate craftsmanship, ergonomic design, and phenomenal performance. Patented SyncroSonic Technology carries serious horsepower, generating 40,000 “cross-cutting actions per minute” to achieve a complete shave without lathering up. The four-way shear system conquers three-day stubble with finesse, and included in the price is the cleaning system and travel case with a cleaning brush. If you need any more convincing, read our full-length review on the Series 9.\r\n$349.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPanasonic Arc4 Electric Shaver\r\n\r\nIf the more premium Arc5 is out of your price range, rest easy knowing you can get similar quality results from its bargain brethren. This update is driven by a high-speed 13,000 CPM linear motor capable of slicing through stubble for consistent shaving at numerous angles and an attached trimmer for detailing. Its biggest selling point remains the active shave sensor technology that detects and adjusts power levels to match hair densities on the face, neck, and chin. A lightweight feel, quick charge (one hour) and strong battery life (45 minutes) add to its value. Not bad for the mid-tier Arc option.\r\n$119 at Amazon.com\r\nPhilips Norelco 9800 Prestige Electric Shaver\r\n\r\n\r\nThe latest electric shaver to hit store shelves is a hi-tech special sensor built into the device to gauge hair density and adjust the blade to shave strands properly. No nicks, no tugs. Its three shaving heads come equipped with NanoTech precision blades (literally covered in nanoparticles to keep blades sharper longer), ensuring a super-close cut, even up to seven-day stubble. SkinComfort rings also surround each one and boast anti-friction coating that increases gliding. Philips throws in a click-on trimmer for beard and ‘stache styling, along with a plush travel case that complements the shaver’s executive look.\r\n$259.96 at Amazon.com\r\nBraun Series 3 ProSkin\r\n\r\nA mid-tier shaver with high-end performance, the wet/dry Series 3 ProSkin is a dependable option made for faster shaving and skin comfort and is perfect for electric razor newbies. Its signature head and MicroComb technology guide whiskers into the cutters for a more swift outcome. Pressure-sensitive blades allow for smoother strokes and protect skin from any chafing or irritation. The precision trimmer built into the back complements facial styling by accurately shaping your ‘stache and sideburns. Battery life is comparable to more expensive shavers, with a 45-minute battery life from a full charge or a full shave from just five minutes.\r\n$59.94 at Amazon.com\r\nPhilips Norelco Shaver 2300\r\n\r\nInstant shaving is a quality most men want in their electrical groomer. Philips’ budget-friendly shaver accomplishes it easily, allowing you to mow through dense parts of your beard. Using its singular ComfortCut blade system to tackle facial fuzz, working alongside four-direction flex heads to lift hair, then cut long and short strands with swift execution. Best of all, it's extremely low maintenance: just hit the one-touch button to open the razor compartment and then rinse under the sink.\r\n$43.55 at Amazon.com\r\nRemington F5-5800 Foil Shaver\r\n\r\nGetting a clean, smooth shave doesn’t always require the most expensive machinery. Remington’s popular foil shaver is proof that you can attain professional shaves at a budget value. The device lasts a full hour on a single quick charge and features an intercept trimmer that sits between the two foils and seizes longer hairs in fewer passes. That along with an integrated pop-up trimmer for shape-ups, and patented Pivot and Flex technology that moves with your grooves, make it impossible to overlook this oscillating facial hair remover.\r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPanasonic ARC5\r\n\r\nBlack men have unique grooming needs, owing to differences in hair texture, coarseness and diameter. For these reasons, we recommend black men opt for foil designs, rather than rotary ones, as these can deal with curly, coarse hair more efficiently, reducing the risks of skin irritation. Here are a few of our favorite models:\r\nHigh price and high performance, Panasonic’s flagship shaver model receives a prime upgrade highlighted by an automatic charging and cleaning dock and stronger five-blade system. The ultra-thin nanotech blades are built from superior Japanese stainless steel, keeping durability and precision in mind, while preserving build quality. Expect 14,000 CPM action that maintains peak execution no matter the battery life — a full 45 minutes after only one hour of charging. It’s a great shower companion that can be immersed in water for effective wet shaves. A trimmer and a sensor are also built in for shaping your face based on thickness.\r\n$174.99 at Amazon.com\r\nWahl LifeProof Foil Shaver\r\n\r\nWahl’s built a credible reputation over the years with its barber-favored hair clippers, and the company’s line of electric shavers is quite impressive. The LifeProof 7061-100 is a hot seller that packs high-quality features into a budget-friendly value. It’s made for dry and wet shaving with a shock- and waterproof design built for longevity. The dual floating heads adapt to the contours of your face and neckline, leaving no stray hair behind. You can get 90 minutes of run time on a full charge and a full shave after just charging for one minute, thanks to its fast-charging capabilities. Personalize your grooming collection by choosing from four different colors: gray, green, orange, or yellow.\r\n$53.55 at Amazon.com\r\nBraun M90 Mobile Shaver\r\n\r\nThe M90 remains a staple for well-groomed travelers, thanks to unique design features from the integrated pop-up trimmer to its solid build quality. Two AA batteries power the machine and generate up to an hour of shaving time, which is quite good for one of the market's older models. It offers impressive close shaves and snatches short hairs adequately, although completing a full shave does take a bit more time since it only features a single foil. Speaking of which, the foil and cutter can each be removed for faster rinsing. We suggest opting for a more advanced model for daily shaving, but toss this sucker in your dopp kit when hitting the road and you’re golden.\r\n$21.99 at Amazon.com\r\nElectric razors used to be for dads who had to cut through stubble fast — and dry. Now, there are some option available that give just as good a shave as a razor blade, can be used wet or dry, and don’t use up a bunch of plastic every time you have to buy a pack of cartridge.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Manscape Your Body \r\n\tBest Beard Oils\r\n\tHow to Grow a Mustache", "keywords": "Best, Electric, Shavers", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/37_guy-gear-electric-shavers/askmen-lead-image-template-1715955137.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/37_guy-gear-electric-shavers.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 13:45:31", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40976", "lang_id": "1", "title": "20 Subtle Hand Gestures to Make Your Date Fall for You – Guaranteed!", "title_slug": "20-subtle-hand-gestures-to-make-your-date-fall-for-you-guaranteed", "title_hash": "767e51bdd04462737a5f129b3f958e74", "summary": "Do you want to learn some subtle hand gestures to make your date fall for you? Try these, and they're guaranteed to make your date unforgettable.\nThe post 20 Subtle Hand Gestures to Make Your Date Fall for You – Guaranteed! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.", "content": "

Do you want to learn some subtle hand gestures to make your date fall for you? Try these, and they’re guaranteed to make your date unforgettable.

$\"hand$ \n\n\n\n

Have you ever noticed that there are subtle hand gestures to make your date fall for you? It’s a fascinating aspect of dating that often goes unnoticed. Imagine you’re at a quaint cafe, engaged in a delightful conversation. As you speak, your hands expressively complement your words, adding a layer of warmth and sincerity. Unbeknownst to many, these small gestures can weave a silent spell of attraction.

\n\n\n\n

Little do people know how their own hands can help them become more enticing in a dating situation. No, it does not involve you touching the other person in weird places, but rather, using hand gestures to further improve your chances at winning in the dating game.

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Now if you’ve watched an episode of Lie to Me, you probably have a good idea of how gestures and non-verbal cues could tell a lot about a person.

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These cues give a subtle glimpse of the person’s personality, motives, and whether they’re telling the truth or a lie. But let’s skip the blinks, grimaces, and shuffles for now, and focus on the hands.

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Hand gestures are very noticeable and are usually used to help convey a thought when speaking, but it could also give clues about your disposition during an intimate conversation with your date. [Read: 40 date questions that’ll definitely lead to great conversations]

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The Science of Hand Gestures in Romance

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Alright, let’s hit the pause button for a moment and dive into something really cool – the science of hand gestures in romance. Think of your hands as your personal love language interpreters, silently but effectively working their magic.

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These subtle flicks, waves, and touches aren’t just random movements, they’re like secret codes to unlocking hearts.

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Understanding the power of these subtle hand gestures can seriously up your dating game, turning ordinary moments into something straight out of a romantic comedy.

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In the realm of attraction, non-verbal cues play a starring role. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 rule of personal communication is illuminating here.

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This theory suggests that only 7% of our communication is verbal, with 38% coming from tone of voice and a whopping 55% from body language, including hand gestures.

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This means that how you move your hands on a date can speak louder than the words you use, subtly influencing the emotional tone of your interaction.

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Body language, a key component of non-verbal communication, is particularly crucial in dating scenarios. It’s not just about what you say, but how your body, especially your hands, aligns with your words. [Read: 37 Secrets to read people by their body language and expressions instantly]

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Subtle hand gestures can indicate interest, openness, or even nervousness, providing your date with cues about your true feelings, often unconsciously.

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Research in the field of non-verbal communication has shown that specific hand gestures can convey a range of emotions. A light touch can signify comfort and care, while open palms can express honesty and openness.

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These gestures are pivotal in creating an emotional connection, as they signal confidence and interest in your date, often more effectively than words could. [Read: Cold feet on a date – 12 ways to gain confidence]

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Mirroring, a psychological concept where one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another, plays a significant role in building rapport. In dating, this can manifest in subtly mimicking the hand gestures of your date.

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This mirroring can create a sense of harmony and understanding, fostering a deeper connection. It’s a dance of gestures, where the subtle mimicry of hand movements can create a powerful, unspoken understanding between two people.

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Your Hands Tell Who You Are

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Keep in mind that you’re aiming for the best impression you could muster. That’s why it’s important to know the subtle hand gestures to make your date fall for you. [Read: 30 Secrets to make a good first impression and impress anyone in minutes!]

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So, take note of these general rules in using hand gestures to give your date the right idea about you. Like all things, using hand gestures inappropriately could be worse than not using them at all!

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1. Know Your Mannerisms and Adopted Gestures

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Prior to learning about this, you probably adopted a habit of using hand gestures of your own. Remember that you need the good ones that give a good impression.

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So, take note and learn about your own hand mannerisms and avoid using the gestures that would put you in the wrong side of your date’s graces. [Read: Signs you’re ruining your first dates unknowingly]

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2. Don’t Overdo It

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Use hand gestures sparingly and decisively. Think of it as a finishing touch to your words in a conversation or a playful indicator when you want to elicit a reaction.

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Don’t just flail your hands around every time you utter a word. If you do this, your date will either think that you’re Italian or you have a severe case of epilepsy.

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3. Keep Your Hands Out of Your Pockets

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Of course, you can’t use hand gestures if you keep them hidden in your pockets. [Read: Simple tips that’ll make you a lot more charismatic]

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Not only does it make you appear like a creep fondling god-knows-what, but it also gives the impression that you are secretive and insecure.

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If you’re not doing anything with your hands, it is best that you adopt a neutral position like letting them hang at your sides or resting them on the table.

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Subtle Hand Gestures to Make Your Date Fall for You

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FACT: Hand gestures can be used as a supplement to conversations or as a form of non-verbal display, like the metaphorical gorilla beating his chest. People who use hand gestures are often perceived as more youthful, intelligent, and honest.

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1. The Gentle Point

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Picture this: You’re deep in conversation, and something grabs your mutual interest. Instead of a broad gesture, you point with one finger, subtly steering your date’s attention. [Read: Body language attraction – 59 male and female signs and how to read and use them]

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It’s like a gentle nudge in the conversation, less invasive than a full-hand point, and perfect for highlighting shared interests.

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This gesture not only shows your engagement but also respects personal space, fostering a sense of mutual respect and collaboration.

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2. The Thoughtful Chin Rest

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Imagine you’re listening intently. By resting your chin on your hand, finger thoughtfully against your cheek, you’re non-verbally telling your date, “What you say matters.” [Read: Ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

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It’s not just about looking interested, it’s about being genuinely immersed in their words. It conveys empathy, attentiveness, and deep contemplation, making your partner feel truly heard and deeply valued.

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3. Sideways Glance with a Hand Frame

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There’s a playful moment, and you catch your date’s eye, framing your face with a hand while giving a coy, sideways glance. It’s a classic move in the flirting playbook, perfect for moments of jest or light teasing.

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This gesture adds a layer of fun and intrigue to the conversation, signaling your playful side and inviting your date into a more flirtatious exchange, enhancing the chemistry between you two. [Read: 13 Step-by-step eye contact flirting moves to catch someone’s eye ASAP!]

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4. The Subtle Sleeve Adjust

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You’re gearing up for a heart-to-heart, and as you subtly adjust your sleeve, it’s like signaling a shift in tone.

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This non-verbal cue is a preamble to deeper dialogue, indicating you’re getting comfortable and setting the stage for a more meaningful conversation.

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It’s a subtle yet powerful way to show that you’re transitioning from small talk to sharing more personal, heartfelt stories or opinions, fostering a sense of intimacy and readiness for a deeper connection. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]

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5. The Wrist Reveal

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In the midst of a passionate point, you turn your wrist up, a subtle yet vulnerable gesture. It’s a non-verbal cue of honesty and openness, almost as if you’re offering a part of yourself.

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This gesture invites trust and emotional intimacy, signaling that you’re not just sharing opinions but also revealing a more genuine, unguarded side of yourself, thereby deepening the connection with your date.

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6. The Supportive Clasp

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As the conversation flows, you gently clasp your hands together, resting them on the table. This simple act is a strong visual anchor, portraying engagement and commitment to the moment. [Read: The subtle moves and consensual steps to let a guy know he can touch you]

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It shows that you’re not just physically present but also mentally and emotionally involved in the interaction. This gesture conveys a sense of support and attentiveness, creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and interest.

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7. The Curious Tilt

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As your date speaks, a slight tilt of your head not only shows that you’re listening but also that you’re genuinely interested. This small, subconscious movement speaks volumes about your engagement level, signaling curiosity and empathy.

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It makes your date feel valued and interesting, transforming a simple conversation into a meaningful exchange. [Read: Male body language – 48 subtle signs to instantly read a man’s thoughts]

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It’s a powerful non-verbal cue that can greatly enhance the sense of connection and understanding between you and your date.

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8. The Guiding Touch

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Picture a moment when you’re walking together or taking a seat. Using a light, caring touch to guide your date, you convey a sense of protection and attentiveness.

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This subtle hand gesture to make your date to fall for you goes beyond mere physical contact. [Read: What it means when a guy touches you – 32 body parts and subtle meanings]

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It communicates a deeper level of care and consideration for their comfort and well-being, subtly reinforcing the feeling of safety and connection in your burgeoning relationship.

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9. The Nod Accompanied Hand Gesture

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Nodding in agreement while using hand gestures in rhythm with your words is like underlining your thoughts in bold. It’s not just a sign of agreement; it’s an emphatic display of being in sync with the conversation.

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The reinforcing gesture enhances the impact of your words, demonstrating your active participation and deep engagement in the dialogue, thereby strengthening the bond of communication with your date. [Read: First date nerves – 22 secrets not to be nervous and feel relaxed on a date]

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10. The Relaxed Interlock

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As you interlock your fingers and place them calmly on your lap or table, you send a message of ease and contentment. This subtle hand gesture sets a relaxed, comfortable tone, indicating that you’re completely at ease in your date’s company.

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It’s a subtle way of saying, “I’m comfortable with you,” fostering an environment where both of you can be yourselves, encouraging a more authentic and genuine interaction.

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11. The Excited Clap

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Don’t you feel extra excited when the person you’re sharing your good news with is visibly thrilled for you? Clapping your hands in excitement is more than just a simple gesture; it’s a physical manifestation of your genuine interest and investment in what they are sharing. [Read: 26 social mind tricks to be more outgoing, friendly & talkative instantly]

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It’s a way of celebrating their stories and experiences, making them feel appreciated and valued, and significantly enhancing the overall energy of the date. This enthusiastic response can create a positive and memorable connection, showing that you truly care about their happiness and success.

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12. The Reflective Temple Touch

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In a moment of deep thought, lightly touching your temple signifies concentration and reflection. It’s a signal that you’re not just hearing, but also processing and valuing the conversation. [Read: 80 VERY good conversation starters that’ll make anyone love talking to you!]

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This gesture demonstrates that you take their thoughts seriously and are engaged in understanding their perspective, thereby fostering a deeper intellectual and emotional connection.

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13. The Open Palms

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This gesture is pretty simple, and you can adopt this as a default gesture in romantic interactions. In this gesture, both hands are relaxed and held open upwards, like carrying an invisible baby.

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This gesture indicates honesty, openness, and a relaxed attitude. Using this gesture in conversations allows you to create an impression that you are sincere, calm, and more credible. [Read: 78 Good questions to ask people and be a great conversationalist]

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14. Hands on Chest

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This gesture is used as a display of sincerity when you are the one talking, and as a sign of empathy when listening to the other person speak. It is the reason why this gesture is used when the national anthem is sung – to imply that you mean every word you say.

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15. The Hand Whirl

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This subtle hand gesture to make your date fall for you is done by holding the hand up with the palm facing your body. The fingers are kept together while you make a rolling motion, as if the tip of your hand is drawing a circle.

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The gesture is commonly used when explaining an abstract concept, and it gives off an intellectual vibe. [Read: Should a girl dumb it down just to impress a guy?]

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16. The Steeple

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The steeple is a gesture where one holds the fingers of both hands together like a clasp in prayer, but leaves some space between the palms like a loose pyramid. This conveys positive confidence when used in the right situation.

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This gesture is commonly used by great thinkers in interviews and portraits as a sign that they are capable of complex thinking. Again, use this if you want to give your date the intellectual impression.

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17. Palms at Rest

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This gesture is normally done in a table setting where both palms are relaxed and face down on the table, with the forearms forming a triangular shape and your upper body leaning forward. [Read: 18 clear giveaways that your date really likes you already]

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This gesture is an overt sign that you are interested in your companion.

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18. Preening

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Preening could be defined as a gesture used to direct attention towards a body part or clothing in order to “fix” our appearance for the sake of the other person.

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There are many gestures considered as preening, and they can be taken positively or negatively. Positive preening gestures elicit the impression of self-assurance and confidence. Examples include:

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– Straightening your coat before you sit or when you stand

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Not only does it direct attention to your dapper suit, but it gives you the aura of being a dignified, well-bred person. So give your lapels a slight tug prior to sitting and after standing. [Read: 13 important traits that are sure to draw women to you]

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– Fixing your cuffs or your cufflinks

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The fact that you wore cufflinks on a date gives the idea that you are a classy, well-made gentleman. Notice how cool this gesture looks in Boardwalk Empire?

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– Tucking your hair behind your ear

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An exclusively feminine gesture that is both alluring and shyly flirtatious, daintily tucking your hair behind your ear makes you seem coy but still open to flirtation. [Read: 25 ways to look cute and melt a guy’s heart]

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19. Holding Out Your Hand

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One of the gestures of a true gentleman is to hold out his hand as an offer of support whenever his lady is getting out of the car or descending the stairs.

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Even if she declines the physical support you offer, the gesture directly sends a message of personal concern and protectiveness. And did we mention that it is very gentlemanly? [Read: Rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]

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20. Touching

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Touching can be tricky, as it comprises of physical contact and gives off a more intimate overtone than conversations and the usual hand gestures.

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Women, in particular, are very sensitive to touching, so great care must be observed when touching another person.

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Touches in this setting should be “safe touches” on the hand, upper back, arms, and shoulders. [Read: The art of flirting by touch without making it obvious]

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For women, on the other hand, touching your date could be a sign that you’re also open to him touching you. When in doubt about the perfect time to touch him, a great time would be when you’re making a point or emphasizing an idea.

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Gently touching his forearm with your fingertips when you say a word you want to emphasize is enough to give a positive impression. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and really sexual flirting tips for women]

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Instead of robotically gluing your hands to the table or nervously fiddling your fingers, practicing the above hand gestures can immediately make you seem more confident, in control, and, in turn, more attractive to your date.

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Hand Gestures to Dodge for Date Night Success

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Some moves bring you closer, others… not so much. Here’s a rundown of the subtle hand gestures that will make your date fall for you that are more ‘no-no’ than ‘va-va-voom’, ensuring your date is more dreamy and less, well, disastrous.

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1. The Pointing Predator

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Pointing aggressively at your date can feel like you’re hunting in the wild rather than flirting over dinner. It’s less Cupid’s arrow and more like a game of darts – likely to make your date feel more like a target than a partner. [Read: 10 super subtle gestures that reveal someone’s into you]

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2. The Pat of Patronization

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Patting your date’s arm or back with a palm-down hand – it’s the adult version of a head pat to a child. It screams ‘I’m the boss’, and let’s be honest, no one wants to feel like they’re on a date with their manager.

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3. The Fidget Spinner

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Twirling your hair, tapping your fingers, or fiddling with anything within arm’s reach? It can come across as a live broadcast of your boredom or nerves. Your date might start looking for a commercial break!

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4. The Fist of Fury

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Clenching your fists might make you look like you’re ready for a boxing match rather than a romantic evening. It’s more likely to raise alarms than eyebrows, suggesting tension instead of attraction. [Read: 20 Non-pushy secrets to keep a guy or girl interested after the first date]

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5. The Arm Barrier

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Crossing your arms is like putting up a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on your conversation. It tells your date you might be closed off or chilly, and not in a ‘playing it cool’ way.

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6. The Sneaky Face Cover

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Frequently covering your face, especially your mouth, can signal that you’re holding back or hiding something. It’s like putting on a mask, which can make the interaction feel less genuine.

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Plus, isn’t it awkward? Your date might think you’re either about to throw up or that they have bad breath. It’s important to be mindful of your body language to ensure that you come across as open and engaged rather than secretive or uneasy.

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7. The Overeager Nodder

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Nodding like a bobblehead might make you seem more like a yes-man than a genuine partner. It’s great to agree, but not to the point where your head looks like it’s on a spring. [Read: 27 Sure signs a guy wants to date you and red flags to watch if he’s unsure]

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8. The Laid-Back Lounger

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Resting your hand behind your head can come off as too laid back, like you’re lounging at home instead of engaging on a date. It’s a bit too ‘Netflix and chill’ for a first impression.

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9. The Table Drummer

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Come on now, do we really have to tap on the table? You’ll appear impatient, as if you’re in a rush or your date is boring you. Tapping can be as annoying as a bad background track, quickly turning your romantic duet into a solo act.

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10. The Wrist Wrestler

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Grabbing your own wrist or arm is like a visible stress meter. It’s a signal of discomfort that can make your date wonder if you’d rather be wrestling with a TV remote. [Read: Online dating – how it really works and 28 secrets to successfully date online]

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Your Hands are Powerful Storytellers

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Your hands are indeed powerful storytellers in the art of romance. As you’ve seen, subtle hand gestures can be your silent allies in the delightful adventure of dating.

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They have the unique ability to convey emotions, intentions, and interest, often saying more than words ever could. These gestures are a crucial part of the non-verbal dance of attraction, playing a key role in how we connect and communicate with potential partners.

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Remember, in the world of dating, it’s not just about the words you choose, but also about how your actions complement them. [Read: 45 Must-knows and the best and worst picnic ideas to woo your date]

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The subtle hand gestures to make your date fall for you can significantly influence the dynamics of your interaction in ways that are unique and deeply human. So, the next time you find yourself on a date, let your hands do some of the talking and watch the magic unfold as your date falls for you!

The post 20 Subtle Hand Gestures to Make Your Date Fall for You – Guaranteed! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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Ever feel like your guy has you on a short leash? It may be time to read up on the ways guys try to manipulate and control their girlfriends.

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It’s a common scenario: when a friend is dating a guy who exhibits control issues, it’s clear to us that the relationship is unhealthy. However, recognizing the ways guys manipulate and control their girlfriends can be challenging when we find ourselves in similar situations.

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If you’re uncertain whether your boyfriend is more in love with controlling you than he is with being in a healthy relationship, we’re here to help you identify the signs and come to a clear conclusion. [Read: Controlling people: 32 common traits, signs and ways to deal with them]

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The Nature of Manipulation in Relationships

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First things first, let’s dive into what manipulation in relationships really looks like. It’s not always the dramatic showdowns we see in movies. In reality, it’s much more subtle and, honestly, kind of sneaky.

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Manipulation, at its core, is about controlling someone else’s behavior or emotions for one’s own benefit. It’s like being a puppeteer but in a not-so-fun way. So, why do some guys turn into these puppet masters? Psychology gives us some clues. It often boils down to issues of power and insecurity. [Read: Power struggles in a relationship: Signs & ways to overcome it]

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Insecurity, a fundamental aspect of the human condition as noted by philosophers like Hobbes, plays a significant role.

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For some guys, this awareness manifests in a need to control their girlfriends, an attempt to counterbalance their own deep-seated vulnerabilities and insecurities. By tightly gripping the reins of their relationships, they are, in a sense, trying to keep their own fears at bay.

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Now, the tricky part about manipulation is how it creeps into a relationship. It doesn’t barge in, it tiptoes. It might start with something that seems pretty harmless, like slightly influencing decisions.

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But then, it gradually escalates to more serious stuff – we’re talking about those classic ways guys manipulate and control their girlfriends. It’s a slow and steady progression that can leave anyone feeling lost and confused.

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And here’s where it gets even more complicated. There’s a fine line between healthy influence and manipulation. Healthy influence is all about mutual respect and support. It’s like having a cheerleader who respects your boundaries. [Read: Boundaries in a relationship: 43 healthy dating rules you MUST set early on]

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Manipulation, on the other hand, is all take and no give. It’s about shaping someone’s behavior or feelings without that same level of respect or consideration for their well-being.

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Common Tactics of Manipulation Used by Guys

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Ladies, distinguishing between a controlling boyfriend and one who’s just head-over-heels in love can be a real head-scratcher. Or are they the same thing?

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In the haze of love, we may sometimes see controlling behavior as a sign of love. But if you see the following red flags in your relationship with your guy, you’d better watch out, as you may be dealing with a control freak. [Read: 23 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t notice]

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1. He Blackmails You Emotionally and Guilt Trips You

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The classic “If you love me, you won’t…” line. Sounds familiar? This is emotional blackmail. He’s playing on your emotions to manipulate your decisions and actions.

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This can create a cycle of guilt and obligation, making you feel like you owe him your compliance. It’s a way of making his desires your priorities, often at the expense of your own needs and happiness. [Read: Guiltfree ways to handle guilt trippers in your life]

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2. He Gaslights You

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Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation where he makes you question your own reality or sanity. Imagine thinking, “Did he really say that, or am I just imagining things?” [Read: 105 most common gaslighting phrases, techniques & signs to recognize them]

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He might deny saying things he clearly said, or twist facts around to suit his narrative. It can lead to self-doubt and confusion, weakening your sense of self and your trust in your own perceptions and memories.

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3. He Isolates You from Friends and Family

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By cutting you off from your support system, he gains more control. This isolation isn’t always obvious. It might start as small comments about the time you spend with others, gradually escalating to outright demands. The goal is to make you dependent on him, both emotionally and socially.

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4. He Pulls the Victim Card and Shifts the Blame

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Whenever there’s a problem, somehow it’s never his fault. If he’s playing the victim, he’s avoiding accountability and making you feel responsible for his actions or the problems in your relationship.

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Doing this tactic can make you more sympathetic and likely to concede to his wishes to ‘make things right’.

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5. He Withholds Affection or Resources as a Form of Control

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This could be as blatant as withholding money or as subtle as withdrawing emotional support. It’s a way to punish you for not adhering to his expectations and to train you to behave as he wants.

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Doing so creates a cycle of deprivation and relief, where you find yourself working harder for his approval or support. [Read: Controlling relationship: 42 signs & ways to love without bullying]

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6. He Makes All the Decisions

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Sure, it might seem sweet at first when he picks the restaurant or plans the weekend getaway. But when it turns into him making choices about your career, your clothes, and even your friendships, it’s a red flag.

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This control tactic can leave you feeling like a passenger in your own life, not the driver. Psychologically, this erodes your sense of autonomy, a crucial element for personal well-being.

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7. He Monitors Your Activities

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At first, his “checking in” might feel like he’s just caring, but there’s a fine line between caring and controlling. When he starts keeping tabs on your every move, it’s not just invasive; it’s a form of control.

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Constant surveillance like this can lead to a loss of privacy and autonomy, making you feel like you’re living under a microscope.

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8. He Criticizes You Constantly

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There’s constructive criticism, and then there’s this. When nothing you do ever seems good enough for him, that’s a problem.

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Nitpicking can chip away at your self-esteem, making you doubt your own worth. It’s a classic tactic in psychological manipulation, used to lower your defenses and make you more susceptible to control. [Read: 30 signs of low self-esteem in a woman that reveal a need for self-love]

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9. He Threatens You

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Whether he’s threatening to break up with you, harm himself, or even harm you, it’s a massive red flag. It’s all about instilling fear to manipulate and control you.

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The underlying psychological principle here is coercion, a form of psychological abuse that creates a power imbalance in the relationship.

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10. He Uses Jealousy as a Tool

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Oh, the drama! He flirts with others in front of you or accuses you of being too friendly with your co-worker. What a classic manipulation.

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By triggering your jealousy, he’s trying to manipulate your emotions, seeking to make you react in ways that validate his control and feed his ego. [Read: Jealousy in a relationship: How to accept, deal & overcome it in love]

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11. He Overloads You with Responsibilities

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Suddenly, you’re the one handling all the chores, bills, and maybe even his emotions. This overload is not just exhausting, it’s a way to keep you so busy and overwhelmed that you don’t have the time or energy to challenge the dynamics of your relationship.

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Doing this shifts the power balance, making you more dependent on him and less likely to feel capable of managing without him.

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12. He Uses Love Bombing

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It’s like a fairytale in fast-forward. In the beginning, he showers you with love, gifts, and grand gestures. But this isn’t just romance, it’s a tactic to quickly create a strong emotional bond.

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Psychologically, this can create a dependency that makes it harder for you to leave when his true colors start showing. It’s a whirlwind meant to sweep you off your feet, and not in a good way. [Read: Love bombing: What it is, how it works & 21 signs you’re being manipulated]

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13. He Downplays Your Successes

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Whether it’s a promotion at work or a personal goal you’ve reached, he finds a way to make it seem less significant. Instead of being your biggest cheerleader, he’s the first to downplay your achievements, which can be damaging to your self-esteem and sense of achievement, as he attempts to keep you from feeling too confident or independent.

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14. He Uses Sexual Manipulation

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Okay, not gonna lie, this one’s particularly insidious. He might make you feel guilty for not being in the mood or use intimacy as a tool for making up after a fight.

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It’s a way of controlling the most intimate part of your relationship. This can create a dynamic where you feel your value in the relationship is tied to your sexual availability or behavior, which is not only unfair but unhealthy. [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

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15. He Plays Mind Games

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One day he’s sweet and loving, the next he’s cold and distant. These mind games are designed to keep you guessing and off-balance.

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The thing is, unpredictability can create an anxiety-driven need for stability, making you more likely to do what he wants in hopes of returning to the ‘good times’.

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16. He Makes You Doubt Your Friends and Family

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In this manipulation tactic, he subtly undermines the intentions of those closest to you. You might find yourself pondering, “Why does he do this?” as he suggests that your friends or family are jealous or simply don’t understand the dynamics of your relationship.

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The goal here is to isolate you, making you more dependent on him and less connected to your support network.

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17. He Uses Financial Control

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If he’s making all the money moves in your relationship, beware. This could mean he’s controlling your joint finances, or even worse, making you feel guilty about how you spend your own money.

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This financial control can leave you feeling dependent and powerless. It’s a classic strategy to limit your independence, ensuring that you’re financially tethered to him.

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18. He Ignores Your Boundaries

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Whether it’s pushing you to share passwords or pressuring you into commitments you’re not ready for, ignoring your boundaries is a big no-no. [Read: Boundaries in a relationship: 43 healthy dating rules you MUST set early on]

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A behavior like this shows a lack of respect for your personal space and choices. It’s a form of psychological control, aimed at breaking down your boundaries so you become more pliable to his will.

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19. He Indulges in Public Humiliation

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In social settings, he might make jokes at your expense or criticize you in front of others. This isn’t just awkward, it’s a form of control designed to embarrass you and assert his dominance.

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Not only undermines your confidence but also aims to tarnish your image in the eyes of others, adding social pressure to the mix of manipulative behaviors.

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20. He Dismisses Your Feelings and Opinions

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Whenever you express how you feel or share your thoughts, he might brush them off as overreactions or trivial. “You’re just being too sensitive,” he might say.

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He does this to belittle your emotions and thoughts, making you feel that your perspective is always flawed or unimportant. It’s a subtle way of undermining your confidence in your own feelings and judgments. [Read: How to express your feelings: Must-know ideas to speak your mind]

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The Psychological Impact on Girlfriends

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Girlfriends, ever wonder how manipulation really affects you? The sneaky thing about manipulation is that it’s not always in-your-face obvious. It’s more like a slow drip that gradually fills up the bucket. If you’re noticing some of these signs in yourself, then there’s a big chance you’re being manipulated.

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1. Erosion of Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

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When he’s constantly criticizing or undermining you, it’s like a tiny leak in your confidence tank – slow but damaging. Over time, this can lead to a significant drop in how you value yourself. [Read: High self-esteem: 33 low signs, what hurts self-worth & secrets to pump it]

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You might start believing his negative comments, feeling less confident in making decisions or expressing your opinions. This erosion of self-esteem is linked to learned helplessness, where you start feeling incapable of improving your situation.

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2. Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Stress

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Living on the edge, never knowing what will set him off next? That’s a recipe for anxiety. The constant stress of walking on eggshells can lead to chronic anxiety and even depression.

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3. Dependency and Loss of Individuality

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When he’s calling all the shots, you might start feeling like you can’t make a move without him until you lose touch with your own identity and preferences.

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You might start giving up hobbies, goals, and relationships that were once important to you, leading to a loss of your sense of self. [Read: How to stop being emotionally dependent on your boyfriend and grow]

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4. Difficulty in Trusting Future Relationships

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After being in a manipulative relationship, trusting someone new can feel like trying to climb a mountain in flip-flops – daunting and risky.

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You might find yourself questioning other people’s motives or waiting for the other shoe to drop. A lack of trust is a common aftermath of manipulation, as it shakes the foundation of what you believe about honesty and integrity in relationships.

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5. Constant Self-Doubt

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When he’s always questioning your decisions or suggesting you’re not capable enough, you might start doubting your own judgment, too. What’s worse, this self-doubt can creep into all areas of your life, making you second-guess your choices and abilities.

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Constant self-doubt can be linked to a decrease in self-efficacy, which is your belief in your ability to succeed or handle life’s challenges. [Read: Overcoming self-doubt: 26 signs & best ways to stop doubting yourself]

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6. Feeling Isolated

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If he’s cutting you off from friends and family, you might start feeling like you’re on an island all by yourself. This isolation isn’t just physical, it can also be emotional, as you might feel like no one else understands or can help you. The feeling of isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and abandonment, exacerbating stress and depression.

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7. Emotional Exhaustion

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Handling manipulation on a regular basis can leave you feeling emotionally drained. It’s as if all your mental energy gets used up in dealing with these mind games, leaving you feeling perpetually tired and just plain burned out. [Read: Tired of your relationship? 30 relationship burnout signs & quick fixes]

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An ongoing stress like this can take a significant toll on your emotional well-being, making everything else in life feel more challenging.

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8. Hyper-Vigilance

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After experiencing manipulation, you might find yourself always on the lookout for signs of trouble. This hyper-vigilance is like having an internal alarm system that’s always on high alert, which can be mentally and physically exhausting.

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It can lead to anxiety and stress, as you’re constantly anticipating and preparing for negative outcomes.

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9. Feeling Worthless or Hopeless

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Particularly in severe cases of manipulation, you might start feeling like you’re not worth being treated well, or that there’s no hope for things to get better.

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This feeling of worthlessness or hopelessness is a serious impact of psychological manipulation and can contribute to depression and a loss of motivation to pursue your goals and interests.

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10. Developing Trust Issues

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After being manipulated, it’s common to develop trust issues, not just in romantic relationships, but in all types of relationships. You might find it hard to believe that people have good intentions, leading to skepticism and reluctance to open up to others.

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It can create barriers to forming new relationships or maintaining existing ones. Psychologically, trust issues stem from a breach of trust in the past, leading to a protective mechanism where you’re more cautious about whom to trust in the future. [Read: I have trust issues: Baby steps to start dating & open your heart to love]

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How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation

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How do you set yourself free from this manipulation chokehold? It’s like untangling yourself from a web that’s been quietly wrapping around you.

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But guess what? You’ve got the scissors in your hand, and it’s time to start snipping away. Let’s go through some empowering ways to cut loose from the ways guys manipulate and control their girlfriends, and reclaim your independence and happiness.

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1. Call Out the Manipulative Behaviors

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When you start recognizing and naming the manipulative tactics for what they are, they lose some of their power over you. This isn’t about starting a confrontation but about being honest with yourself. [Read: Psychological manipulation: How it works, 37 tactics, signs & ways to deal]

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In psychology, this is known as ‘naming and taming‘ – when you can identify and label what’s happening, you can start to deal with it more effectively.

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2. Set Boundaries

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It’s crucial to establish what you are and aren’t okay with. Communicate these boundaries clearly to your boyfriend, and stick to them, even if he pushes back. Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships as they create a sense of mutual respect and safety.

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3. Seek Backup from Trusted People

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You’re not in this alone, girlfriend. Talk to friends, family, or a counselor who can offer support and perspective. [Read: Why do I feel so alone? Truths that can heal & change your life]

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Sometimes, just talking about what’s happening can help you see the situation more clearly. Plus, having a support network can remind you of your worth and help you stay strong in your decisions.

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4. Educate Yourself About Manipulation

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Knowledge is power. The more you understand about manipulation and its effects, the better equipped you are to deal with it. There are tons of resources out there – books, websites, podcasts – dive in and educate yourself.

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Understanding the psychology behind manipulation can demystify a lot of what you’re experiencing and empower you to take action.

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5. Reconnect with Your Interests and Passions

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Remember who you were before this relationship? Reconnect with those parts of yourself. Whether it’s picking up an old hobby, spending time with friends, or pursuing a new interest, doing things you love can help rebuild your sense of self.

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It’s a way to remind yourself that you are your own person, with your own likes, dislikes, and interests. [Read: What are you passionate about? How to find and own your desires]

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6. Practice Self-Care

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Taking care of yourself is key. This can be anything from getting enough sleep, eating well, to taking time out for relaxation and fun.

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When you’re feeling good physically and emotionally, you’re in a stronger position to handle manipulation. Self-care also boosts your self-esteem, making it easier to stand up for yourself.

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7. Seek Professional Help

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Sometimes, we need a little extra help, and that’s okay. Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop strategies to deal with manipulation.

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They can offer insights and tools that you might not have considered. Therapy can be incredibly empowering, helping you to understand and heal from the effects of manipulation.

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8. Learn Assertiveness Skills

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Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive. It’s about expressing your needs and feelings confidently and calmly.

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There are workshops, books, and online resources to help you develop these skills. Assertiveness can help you communicate more effectively and stand up for yourself in a healthy way. [Read: Confident ways to be more assertive & speak your mind loud and clear]

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9. Create an Exit Plan

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If the relationship becomes unhealthy or unsafe, having an exit plan is crucial. This might include saving money, finding a place to stay, or arranging for transportation.

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Know that leaving a manipulative relationship can be challenging, but it’s important to prioritize your safety and well-being. [Read: How to leave a toxic relationship: 24 steps to end it & find happiness]

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10. Reflect on Your Relationship Patterns

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Sometimes, we find ourselves in a cycle of similar relationships. Reflecting on your relationship patterns can help you understand why you might be drawn to manipulative partners.

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It isn’t about blaming yourself, but about gaining insight and breaking the cycle. Understanding these patterns can help you make healthier relationship choices in the future.

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You Deserve a Relationship That Doesn’t Hold You Back

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So with all that said, think about this quote from the movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, “Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn’t happiness.” It’s a reminder that while manipulation may seem like a play for power, it never equates to true happiness or a healthy relationship.

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In the end, the real strength lies in mutual respect, understanding, and genuine care – the very opposites of manipulation and control. [Read: 36 signs of disrespect in a relationship that reveal a lack of love & respect]

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As we’ve discussed the various ways guys manipulate and control their girlfriends, it’s clear that such dynamics are far from the foundation of a loving, supportive partnership. You deserve a relationship that lifts you up and celebrates your individuality, not one that holds you back. Stay aware, stay strong, and never settle for anything less than the respect and love you truly deserve.

The post 20 Ways Guys Manipulate and Control Their Girlfriends and How to Break Free is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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Do you feel like traditional romantic attraction just doesn’t happen to you? If so, you might be a quoiromantic, but you are not unusual.

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Have you ever found yourself puzzled by romantic movies or friends gushing about their latest crush, wondering why you can’t quite relate to those feelings? If so, you’re not alone. This sense of disconnection or confusion around romantic attraction points us towards an intriguing term in the vast lexicon of love: quoiromantic.

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To be quoiromantic means to exist in a space where traditional labels of romantic attraction don’t quite fit. It’s not about who you’re attracted to, rather, it’s about not fully understanding or relating to the concept of romantic attraction itself.

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This might sound perplexing, especially in a world that often views romantic attraction as a given, a universal experience. Whether this term is new to you or something you deeply resonate with, our journey will offer a fresh perspective on the diverse and nuanced nature of human relationships. [Read: Romantic attraction: How to know when you feel the real thing]

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The Psychology of Being Quoiromantic

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Imagine stepping into a world where the typical romantic cues just don’t resonate with you. This is the reality for those who identify as quoiromantic. [Read: Demiromantic – what it is, the signs, and why you take longer to fall in love]

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The term ‘quoiromantic’ comes from the French word ‘quoi,’ meaning ‘what,’ and aptly captures the essence of this orientation – a questioning or uncertainty about romantic attraction.

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People who are quoiromantic might find themselves puzzled by the concept of romance or unable to distinguish romantic attraction from other forms of attraction, like platonic or aesthetic.

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According to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network *AVEN*, being quoiromantic means you don’t experience romantic attraction in a way that aligns with traditional definitions. [Read: Panromantic asexual – what it is, 23 signs, FAQs and ways to recognize them]

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Now, let’s place quoiromantic on the broader romantic spectrum. You’ve probably heard of terms like heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual. These terms describe who a person is attracted to.

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Quoiromantic, on the other hand, joins other lesser-known orientations like aromantic and demiromantic, which describe how a person experiences romantic attraction – or in the case of quoiromantics, how they struggle to define or experience it at all.

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To add a scholarly touch, let’s bring in some psychology terms. ‘Amatonormativity‘ is a term coined by Elizabeth Brake, a philosophy professor, to describe the societal expectation that everyone should desire and seek out a romantic relationship.

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Quoiromantic individuals often find themselves at odds with this norm. Then there’s ‘relationship anarchy,’ a concept that challenges traditional relationship rules and hierarchies.

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For a quoiromantic person, this could mean forming connections that don’t necessarily fit into neat categories like ‘just friends’ or ‘more than friends.’

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Signs You Might Be Quoiromantic

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How can you tell if you’re quoiromantic? It’s a question that might be lingering in your mind, especially if traditional romantic narratives don’t quite click for you. [Read: Pansexual – what it is, 26 truths, myths, signs, and what it feels like to be one]

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Being quoiromantic often involves a unique set of experiences and feelings around romance and attraction. Let’s explore some signs that might suggest you identify with this orientation.

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Remember, everyone’s experience is unique, so these signs are not one-size-fits-all but rather a starting point for self-exploration.

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1. You Feel More Confused Than Excited by Romantic Gestures

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When someone shows romantic interest in you, instead of feeling flattered or excited, you feel confused. [Read: Aromantic asexual – what it is, and traits and challenges of this sexual identity]

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This isn’t about shyness or lack of interest but more about not understanding why these gestures are supposed to be special or significant.

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You find yourself analyzing why people value romantic actions, a sign psychologists suggest could be indicative of a quoiromantic orientation.

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2. Romantic Relationships Seem Like a Foreign Concept

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You understand the idea of romantic relationships, but they feel like a concept from another world. [Read: Lithromantic – what it is, what makes one, and signs you may be one]

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It’s not like you dislike romance. Just that you’re genuinely not grasping what it feels like to be romantically attracted to someone. Experts in relationship psychology note that this disconnect is a key sign of being quoiromantic.

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3. Romantic Movies and Stories Don’t Stir Feelings

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While your friends might swoon or get emotional over romantic films or books, you watch or read them with a sort of detached interest.

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Romantic element doesn’t resonate with you on a personal level, a common experience among quoiromantic individuals. [Read: Romantic orientation – the most common ones all of us must know]

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4. Deep Friendships Feel More Fulfilling Than Romance

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You find that your most fulfilling relationships are deep, platonic friendships. Many people, especially those who identify as quoiromantic, feel more connected and understood in non-romantic relationships.

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If you’re someone who finds the unique bond and genuine connection in friendships more fulfilling, you might be quoiromantic.

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5. You Struggle to Define Your Attraction

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If you’ve ever asked, “What’s attractive to you,” and found yourself genuinely stumped, you’re not alone. Categorizing your feelings as romantic, platonic, or aesthetic can be challenging because the lines between different types of attraction are often blurry and overlapping.

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This genuine difficulty in distinguishing forms of attraction is a hallmark of the quoiromantic experience. For those who are quoiromantic, understanding and labeling these feelings can feel elusive, making the journey of self-discovery even more complex and unique. [Read: How to talk about your feelings in a relationship & grow closer]

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6. Discussions About Romance Leave You Perplexed

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So your friends are swooning about their latest romantic escapades, and you’re left dumbfounded. It’s not that you’re uninterested in their stories, you just can’t relate to the romantic aspect at all. For those who are quoiromantic, this feeling of missing a piece of the puzzle is all too familiar.

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7. Societal Expectations of Romance Are Overwhelming

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You feel pressured by the societal norm that everyone should desire romantic relationships. [Read: Heteromantic orientation – what it is, the different types, and must-know facts]

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This pressure isn’t about fear of commitment; it’s about not resonating with the idea of romance itself, a concept that’s at the core of understanding quoiromanticism.

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8. Romantic Relationships Feel Like Going Through the Motions

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The thing about being quoiromantic is that you don’t immediately know you are one. If you’ve been in a relationship and it often feels like you’re just acting out a script, it might be a clue.

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It’s not about the partner not being right, it’s about the romantic aspect feeling unnatural. Many quoiromantics share this sentiment, realizing only later that their discomfort stems from their unique way of experiencing attraction.

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9. You Frequently Question Your Romantic Orientation

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You’ve spent a lot of time pondering whether you experience romantic attraction. [Read: Cupioromantic – 30 signs and secrets to unveil this romantic orientation and thrive]

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This ongoing self-questioning isn’t about finding the right person; it’s about trying to understand your own feelings, a journey familiar to those who are quoiromantic.

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10. Your Connections Don’t Fit Neat Romantic Boxes

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You form deep connections that don’t fit traditional romantic categories. These relationships are meaningful but don’t align with societal definitions of romance, a common experience for those with a quoiromantic orientation.

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11. “Is This a Crush or Just a Close Friendship?”

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You often find yourself questioning whether your feelings towards someone are romantic or just a deep friendship. Understanding emotions isn’t the issue, it’s about the blurry line between romantic and platonic affection.

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For many who are quoiromantic, distinguishing between these types of feelings can be incredibly challenging. The overlap and ambiguity in their attractions lead to a constant state of uncertainty, making it hard to categorize their emotions clearly.

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12. You Prefer the Idea of ‘Queerplatonic’ Relationships

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The concept of a ‘queerplatonic’ relationship, which is intense and intimate but not romantic, appeals to you more than traditional romantic partnerships.

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This preference stems from a desire for deep connections that don’t necessarily involve romance, a sentiment echoed in the quoiromantic community. [Read: Aromantic – what it means, how it works, and 28 must-knows about their love life]

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13. Romantic Compliments Make You Uncomfortable

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So, someone has given you a compliment. Maybe something like “You’re so beautiful” or “I love you,” and instead of blushing or feeling flattered, it felt awkward or confusing.

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The romantic intent behind the words doesn’t resonate with you, which is something many quoiromantics can relate to.

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14. Dating Apps Feel Like a Puzzle

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The world of dating apps feels like some strange, confusing universe. Maybe you’ve tried looking but everyone seems swipe-leftable, or you cringe at the cheesy pick-up lines in their bios.

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Navigating these platforms isn’t about being technologically challenged, it’s about not resonating with the primary goal of finding romantic connections. This could be another sign that you’re quoiromantic. [Read: 28 Truths why dating apps don’t work for you and secrets to turn it around]

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15. You Find Yourself Asking, “What Even Is Romance?”

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The concept of romance often feels abstract and elusive to you. This isn’t about being cynical; it’s a genuine struggle to grasp what people mean when they talk about romance, a common thought process for quoiromantic individuals.

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16. Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Excite You

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While others may look forward to Valentine’s Day, you find it to be just another day.

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This indifference isn’t about being anti-love; it’s about not connecting with the romantic aspect that the day celebrates, a viewpoint that many who are quoiromantic might share. [Read: Why it’s awesome to be single on Valentine’s Day]

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17. “Why Don’t I Get Butterflies?”

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Butterflies in my stomach? We don’t know them! You usually get this butterfly feeling when you like someone, but for quoiromantics, romantic attraction doesn’t manifest in the same way. This absence of physical reaction is a common experience among those who identify as quoiromantic.

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18. You Relate More to Friendship Stories

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In movies, books, or real life, you find yourself relating more to stories of friendship than romance. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

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This preference isn’t about disliking love stories but more about finding more personal meaning in platonic relationships, a sentiment often expressed by those who are quoiromantic.

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19. Advances Leave You Perplexed

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When someone expresses romantic interest in you, it often leaves you feeling more puzzled than flattered, and no, you’re not playing hard to get. It’s just that you can’t quite understand or relate to the romantic intentions. Again, a typical experience for quoiromantics.

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20. You Enjoy Deep Emotional Connections Without Labels

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You cherish deep, emotional connections with people but don’t feel the need to label these as romantic. You’re the kind of person who’s more focused on enjoying the definitely platonic connection rather than worrying about labels and what-are-wes.

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Upsides of Being a Quoiromantic

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If you’re quoiromantic, there’s a whole world of unique advantages that come with your orientation.

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While it might sometimes feel challenging to navigate a world so focused on traditional romantic relationships, being quoiromantic comes with its own set of perks. [Read: Biromantic – what it means and how to read between biromantic vs. bisexual]

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Here’s a look at some of the positives that quoiromantic individuals often experience.

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1. Freedom from Conventional Relationship Scripts

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As a quoiromantic, you’re not bound by societal expectations of what a relationship should look like. This freedom allows you to create relationships that are genuinely fulfilling, based on mutual understanding and respect, rather than societal norms.

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2. Deeper Understanding of Different Types of Love

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Quoiromantics often develop a deep appreciation for various forms of love beyond the romantic kind. This includes platonic, aesthetic, and familial love, enriching their emotional experiences and relationships. [Read: Types of love you’ll experience in your life]

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3. Stronger Platonic Bonds

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Without the distraction of romantic attraction, you might find that your platonic relationships are stronger and more meaningful. These bonds are built on shared interests, values, and genuine affection, providing a solid foundation for lasting friendships.

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4. Enhanced Self-Understanding

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Navigating the world as a quoiromantic often requires introspection and self-exploration. This journey can lead to a better understanding of yourself and what you truly value in relationships and life.

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5. Less Pressure in Social Situations

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Being quoiromantic means you’re less likely to feel pressure to engage in romantic or dating activities that don’t interest you. [Read: 33 easy ways to meet new people and widen your social circle effortlessly]

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This can lead to a more relaxed and authentic social life, where you engage in activities that truly resonate with you.

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6. Embracing Authentic Connections

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As a quoiromantic, your relationships are based on a true connection rather than societal expectations of romance. This authenticity means your relationships are deeply rooted in honesty and mutual respect, creating a space for genuine interactions.

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7. Reduced Relationship Anxiety

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Without the typical anxieties surrounding romantic relationships, such as fear of rejection or the pressure to find ‘the one,’ you might experience a more peaceful emotional life. [Read: Relationship anxiety – what it is, 44 signs, feelings, and ways to get over it]

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This can lead to a sense of contentment and reduced stress in your day-to-day interactions.

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8. Opportunity for Creative Relationship Structures

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Being quoiromantic opens the door to exploring non-traditional relationship structures.

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Whether it’s queerplatonic partnerships or other unique forms of connection, you have the freedom to design relationships that truly work for you, unconfined by conventional templates. [Read: Queerplatonic relationship – what it is and 25 signs you’re in one]

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9. Greater Focus on Personal Growth and Passions

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With less emphasis on pursuing romantic relationships, you often have more time and energy to invest in personal development and passions. This can lead to a fulfilling and enriched life, where personal achievements and hobbies take center stage.

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10. Contribution to a More Inclusive Society

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By embracing your quoiromantic identity, you’re helping to broaden societal understanding of the spectrum of human experience.

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Your existence and openness about your orientation contribute to a more accepting and diverse world, where all forms of love and connection are valued. [Read: 29 Signs you’re asexual – what it means, and must-knows to be in a relationship]

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Challenges of Being a Quoiromantic

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While being quoiromantic has its unique advantages, it also comes with its own set of challenges.

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These aspects can sometimes make navigating relationships and societal expectations a bit tricky. Here are some of the cons that quoiromantic individuals might face, presented in a way that’s both informative and sensitive to their experiences.

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1. Misunderstanding from Others

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One of the biggest challenges is the lack of awareness or understanding about quoiromanticism. [Read: Lessons to deal with judgmental people]

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You might face misconceptions or confusion from others, including friends and family, who may not grasp your experience or question its validity.

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2. Difficulty in Finding Like-Minded Individuals

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Since quoiromanticism isn’t widely known or understood, finding others who share your orientation or are empathetic to it can be challenging. This can lead to feelings of isolation or being misunderstood in your social and dating life.

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3. Navigating Romantic Expectation

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Living in a society that heavily values romantic relationships can be tough. You might feel pressured to conform to romantic norms or struggle to explain your lack of interest in traditional romantic relationships. [Read: Unrealistic expectations in love we want to believe but shouldn’t]

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4. Internal Conflicts and Self-Doubt

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The process of understanding and accepting your quoiromantic identity can be filled with self-doubt and internal questioning. It might take time to fully embrace your orientation, especially in the face of societal norms that prioritize romantic attraction.

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Limited Resources and Support: There’s a scarcity of resources, support groups, or communities specifically for quoiromantic individuals. This can make it harder to find support and advice tailored to your experiences and challenges.

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5. Challenges in Romantic Relationships

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If a quoiromantic person chooses to engage in romantic relationships, they may face unique difficulties. [Read: How to face relationship challenges and overcome them as a couple]

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Balancing their own feelings with their partner’s expectations can be complex, leading to confusion and strain in the relationship.

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6. Feeling Out of Sync with Mainstream Media

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Mainstream media predominantly showcases romantic love, often leaving quoiromantic individuals feeling out of sync or excluded. This constant portrayal of romance as a universal goal can be alienating and frustrating.

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7. Social Pressure and Judgment

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Social events and conversations often revolve around romantic relationships, leading to uncomfortable situations. [Read: 34 Secrets to calmly deal with haters, rid their negativity, and keep your Zen!]

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Quoiromantics might face judgment or pressure from peers who don’t understand their orientation, leading to awkward interactions and a sense of not fitting in.

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8. Limited Representation

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There’s a significant lack of representation of quoiromantic individuals in media, literature, and public discourse. This lack of visibility can make it harder for quoiromantics to find relatable role models or stories that reflect their experiences.

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9. Navigating Identity in a Romance-Centric World

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Living in a world that often equates happiness and fulfillment with romantic love can be challenging. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

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Quoiromantics may struggle to find their place and voice in a society that doesn’t always acknowledge or validate their experiences.

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Tips for Quoiromantics and Their Partners

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Whether you’re working on a relationship as a quoiromantic or you’re romantically involved with one, it’s like embarking on an uncharted journey. It’s all about discovering new ways to connect and understand each other.

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Here’s how to make this adventure fulfilling and fun.

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1. For Quoiromantics: Embrace Your Unique Relationship Style

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Celebrate the uniqueness of how you experience relationships. [Read: 40 Very deep questions to ask someone before you get close to them]

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Whether you love deep conversations more than candlelit dinners or prefer movie nights over romantic getaways, embrace these preferences. Your style adds a fresh dimension to the relationship dynamic.

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2. For Partners: Find Joy in the Little Things

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If your partner is quoiromantic, learn to find joy in the nuances of your relationship that aren’t conventionally romantic.

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Cherish the moments of shared laughter, mutual interests, and the comfort of just being together. These small joys often create the most lasting memories. [Read: 41 Rules of life to never be unhappy and be the one who screams, “I love my life!”]

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3. For Quoiromantics: Be Open to New Experiences

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While staying true to your feelings, be open to trying new things with your partner.

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It could be engaging in activities they enjoy or finding middle ground in shared experiences. This openness can lead to unexpected joys and a deeper bond.

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4. For Partners: Communication is Key, But So Is Listening

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Effective communication goes beyond just talking; it’s also about listening. Listen to understand, not just to respond. [Read: 31 Communication exercises and games for couples and secrets to feel closer]

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When your quoiromantic partner shares their thoughts and feelings, pay attention to the subtleties. This deep level of understanding is what makes the relationship stronger.

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5. Create Your Own Relationship ‘Rules’

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Forget the rulebook of traditional relationships. Work together to create a set of ‘rules’ that suits both of you.

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Whether it’s how you spend time together, express affection, or support each other, these personalized guidelines can make your relationship more fulfilling and less stressful for both parties. [Read: 30 Relationship rules, secrets, and tips to make your love life way, WAY, better!]

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Every Form of Love and Connection Holds Value

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In the end, being quoiromantic, like any romantic orientation, comes with its own unique experiences and challenges. It’s a journey of self-discovery, understanding, and embracing the myriad ways we connect with others.

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Remember, every form of love and connection holds value, and being quoiromantic is a beautiful expression of the diverse spectrum of human emotions and relationships.

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Your quoiromantic journey is valid and important. It contributes to a richer, more inclusive understanding of love and connection in our world. [Read: Homoromantic – the basic facts on what it means and how to understand it]

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So, cherish your experiences and embrace your identity. Sure, not everybody can relate to what quoiromantics feel, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. Your way of experiencing relationships is just as important and meaningful as any other.

The post Quoiromantic Confusion: 20 Signs, Pros, Cons, & Relationship Survival Tips is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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What is a conniving person and how can you ensure you don’t fall for their tricks? Dive in to uncover, understand, and stay steps ahead!

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You know Scar from The Lion King? The cunning villain with the fabulous mane and the less-than-fabulous intentions? Picture him in jeans and a t-shirt, scrolling through social media. That’s your real-life conniving person.

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A bit less dramatic, sure, but just as intriguing. Now, before you go on a Disney binge *tempting, we know*, let’s delve into the oh-so-fancy world of ‘Machiavellianism’. Because nothing spices up a chat about sly characters like a term that’s almost impossible to spell on the first try! [Read: Machiavellianism traits: What makes one, signs & how to not fall victim]

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Defining the Conniving Personality

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We’ve all met them. That conniving person who seems to have mastered the art of saying one thing while plotting something entirely different. It’s like trying to read a text in a group chat where half the messages are in code. So, what makes these individuals tick?

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Psychologically speaking, a conniving person isn’t just influenced by one too many sneaky character arcs on TV.

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Often, their behavior aligns with what psychologists term “Machiavellianism” – a personality trait that involves using cunning and duplicity in interpersonal relationships. These individuals display methodical and calculating traits.

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They’re the friends who can predict the end of a movie you’re watching together or the ones who always seem to have a backup plan for their backup plan. [Read: Dark triad personality – what it is, and 25 signs and ways to deal with them]

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No, not all conniving individuals sport those twistable villainous mustaches. But they sure do come with their own set of tell-tale signs!

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The next time you’re wondering if you’re dealing with a conniving person or just someone who’s really good at board games, keep an eye out for these clues below.

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Signs You’re Dealing with a Conniving Individual

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Life isn’t always like a mystery novel, but sometimes, we encounter characters that make us feel like we’re right in the middle of an Agatha Christie plot. So how does one identify the conniving person amidst everyday scenarios?

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Let’s decode.

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1. Lopsided Listening

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You ever notice that one person who seems extra attentive when you speak, but it feels off? [Read: Ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

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That’s because a conniving person often leans in more to gather information than to genuinely engage in conversation. They’re like human vacuum cleaners, sucking up details without releasing much about themselves.

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2. Constantly Changing Colors

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A conniving person can adapt their personality, beliefs, or even their likes and dislikes based on who they’re around. It’s not just being a good social chameleon, it’s switching colors so often that you wonder if they have a genuine hue.

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Like someone always changing their order at a cafe to match yours, but never actually savoring the drink. [Read: Narcissistic abuse – what it is, types, 58 signs and ways they hurt and break you]

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3. Too Many Secrets

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Ever tried to get a straight answer from someone, and it felt like pulling teeth? A conniving person often operates under layers of secrets and half-truths.

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They may drop vague hints about things or avoid direct questions. Because, apparently, mysterious vibes are the new black.

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4. Perfect Timing

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Timing isn’t just a talent for comedians. A conniving individual has an uncanny knack for showing up right when they can gain the most. [Read: Dark empath – what it means, 45 signs and reasons we’re drawn to them]

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It’s like they have a sixth sense for opportunities, be it offering a “helping hand” when you’re most vulnerable or appearing just when there’s something to gain.

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5. Selective Memory

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They remember what they want and “forget” what doesn’t suit them. So, if a conniving person owes you money, expect them to have a memory lapse. But if you owe them? Oh, they’ll remember the exact date, time, and even the weather.

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6. Flattery Overload

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Flattery can be nice, but with a conniving person, it often feels like they’ve set their compliments on rapid-fire mode. [Read: Decoding compliments – 50 cute words and their true meaning]

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No, they’re not just being sweet, they’re trying to butter you up for some future agenda. Because who can resist someone who thinks you’re just so amazing, right?

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7. Always One Up

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Had a bad day? They’ve had worse. Found a $10 bill on the street? They once found $20.

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A conniving person often engages in subtle competitions, always striving to be one step ahead or paint themselves as slightly more impressive or unfortunate, depending on the scenario. [Read: Main types of narcissism and 18 steps to treat and help a narcissist change]

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8. Emotionally Unavailable

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They’re there, but also not there. A conniving person often keeps their emotions locked up tighter than Fort Knox. While they’re great at detecting and manipulating others’ feelings, they’re pros at keeping their own under wraps.

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9. Expert Evasion

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Got a tough question or cornered them with logic? Watch a conniving person dance around it with the grace of a ballet dancer. They sidestep, deflect, or even toss back a distracting counter-question. They do this to avoid accountability and maintain control over the conversation.

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Imagine asking why they missed an important meeting, and instead of answering, they bring up a time you were late. By shifting the focus, they keep you on the defensive and evade the original question.

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10. Promise Overload

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They’re the kings and queens of tomorrow-land. A conniving person can make grand promises and commitments, painting rosy pictures of future adventures or gains. [Read: 20 non-negotiables in relationships you shouldn’t ever compromise on]

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Yet, when push comes to shove, they often come up with excuses or conveniently “forget.”

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11. Half-Tales and Tall Tales

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When a story from a conniving person sounds more like a Hollywood script than a real-life incident, eyebrows should raise. They have a talent for exaggeration, sometimes sharing only half the story or embellishing details to serve their narrative.

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12. Sudden Shifts in Stance

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Remember that friend who couldn’t stop praising matcha lattes last week and is suddenly calling them “just green frothy water”? [Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from using you]

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A conniving person often changes their opinions or stances based on their audience, aiming to blend in or appeal to the majority.

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13. Guarded with Gadgets

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Ever noticed someone being overly protective about their phone or computer? While privacy is essential, a conniving individual might be ultra-guarded, fearing you might stumble upon their secrets or double-dealings.

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14. Conditional Kindness

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Their niceties come with strings attached. A conniving person’s kindness often feels transactional. You’ll think they’re super kind for offering a hand with your move, only to find out later it came with hidden expectations.

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When they need a favor, they’ll remind you of the help they gave, making you feel obligated to return it. Their generosity isn’t genuine; it’s a calculated move to keep you indebted and under their influence. [Read: The psychology and 24 nice and not-so-nice ways to make someone feel bad]

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15. The Drama Magnet

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Somehow, a conniving individual always finds themselves at the center of drama or controversy. They might play the innocent card, but often, they’ve had a hand in stirring the pot, whether for attention or diversion.

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Imagine there’s an office drama brewing, and you later find out the one spreading rumors was them all along. By creating chaos, they divert attention from their own actions and keep everyone else off balance.

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16. Divide and Conquer

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A tactic as old as time. A conniving person may discreetly pit friends or colleagues against each other, creating divisions that they can exploit. It’s like they’ve taken a leaf out of ancient war strategies!

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17. Masters of Misdirection

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Like a magician diverting your attention from their next trick, conniving folks redirect focus when they sense danger or suspicion. [Read: 105 Most common gaslighting phrases, techniques, and signs to recognize them]

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They might bring up an unrelated emotional event or suddenly shower you with affection to throw you off track.

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18. Eerily Empathetic

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It’s one thing to be empathetic, but a conniving person uses empathy as a tool. They can hone in on your vulnerabilities, not to comfort but to use them as leverage or for manipulation later.

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You told them you’re having a bad day, and suddenly they’re offering just the right words to gain your trust. Later, they might use this information to manipulate you, exploiting your vulnerabilities for their own benefit.

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19. Unwavering Eye Contact

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While maintaining eye contact is often seen as a sign of confidence or honesty, conniving individuals use it to gauge reactions or intimidate. It’s like they’re trying to download your thoughts just by staring! [Read: Men who stare at women – what’s on a guy’s mind, his excuses, and reasons]

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20. Vacuum of Validation

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They crave validation and constantly fish for compliments or reassurance. They’re majorly concerned about how they’re perceived, and this need isn’t just about boosting their ego. It’s often about ensuring they still have influence or control over the narrative and people around them.

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By seeking constant affirmation, they maintain a grip on others’ perceptions and keep themselves at the center of attention.

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Why Do People Turn Conniving? The Psych Behind the Sly

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While it’s tempting to imagine every conniving person once had their ice cream stolen as a child, leading them down a dark path, the reality is more complex.

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What turns someone into a conniving person? Is it genes, environment, a peculiar fondness for watching villain montages on repeat? Let’s dive into the maze of psychology. [Read: Dating a jerk – 37 signs, the psychology, and the best ways to deal with assholes]

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1. Nature vs. Nurture Debate

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The age-old question—do we come hardwired with certain traits, or are they imprinted upon us by our environment? When it comes to being conniving, it’s likely a blend of both.

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Some people might have a genetic predisposition to such traits, making them more susceptible. Yet, without certain environmental triggers, these traits may never fully manifest.

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2. Attachment Theory

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The roots often trace back to our earliest relationships. According to the Attachment Theory, children who grow up with inconsistent or unpredictable care might develop manipulative behaviors as a coping mechanism.

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A conniving person might have learned early on that being direct didn’t get them what they needed, leading them to find more covert ways to secure love, attention, or resources. [Read: Attachment styles theory – 4 types and 19 signs, and ways you attach to others]

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3. Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs

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Negative events in childhood, from neglect and abuse to more subtle forms of trauma, can lead to maladaptive behaviors in adulthood.

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A conniving person might have faced situations where deception was a survival tool, or where they felt that being straightforward put them at risk.

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4. Social Environment and Peer Influence

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Have you ever heard of the saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”? Surroundings play a part. [Read: Toxic friends – 22 types, 54 signs and ways to end friendships that hurt you]

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Growing up or spending significant time in an environment where cunning behaviors are rewarded can shape a person.

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If a young adult sees that being conniving gets results—whether it’s popularity, material gain, or power—they might adopt similar strategies.

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5. Fear of Vulnerability

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Beneath the facade, a conniving person often harbors a deep fear of being vulnerable or exposed. [Read: Vulnerable narcissism – what it means, 29 signs, causes and ways to deal with it]

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Past experiences of betrayal or hurt could have taught them that showing their true selves is risky. So, they wear masks, play games, and keep people at arm’s length to protect themselves.

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6. Need for Control

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At the core, many conniving individuals have an intense need for control over their environment and the people in it. This can stem from feelings of powerlessness in the past.

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By being manipulative, they feel they can dictate outcomes, ensuring they aren’t caught off-guard or hurt. [Read: Controlling people – 32 common traits, signs, and ways to deal with them]

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7. Reinforcement and Learned Behaviors

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Sometimes, it’s as simple as learning that being conniving works. If a person consistently benefits from deceitful tactics without facing repercussions, they’ll likely continue. It’s basic behaviorism; behaviors that are rewarded tend to be repeated.

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When You’ve Been Outfoxed: What to Do?

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Alright, admit it. As you read through these signs and reasons, a face or two might’ve popped into your mind.

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Discovering that you’re dealing with a conniving person can be like realizing you’ve been dancing to their tune all along. So, how do you change the song and regain control? [Read: Sneaky people – 20 subtle signs and what defines sneaky behavior in someone]

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1. Trust but Verify

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It’s like taking advice from ancient stoics while navigating the digital age. When a conniving person shares information, don’t discard it outright, but take a moment to cross-check.

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Ensure you have all the facts before making decisions. It’s a bit like double-checking a juicy piece of gossip before spreading it—sometimes, things aren’t as they seem.

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2. Speak Their Language

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Understand the game, and you’re halfway to winning it. If you grasp a conniving person’s tactics and motives, you can better navigate interactions. [Read: 46 Secrets to deal with a narcissist, break them, and handle their petty games]

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You don’t have to resort to manipulation yourself, but knowing their strategies allows you to stay a step ahead. It’s like knowing the rules of chess—you might not always win, but you’ll definitely play smarter.

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3. Know When to Fold ’em

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Not every battle is worth fighting. Recognizing when it’s time to distance yourself from a conniving individual is crucial.

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Sometimes, the best strategy is to minimize contact or cut ties altogether. Protecting your mental and emotional well-being should always be a priority, even if it means letting go of certain relationships. [Read: Breaking up with a narcissist – 28 must-knows, what to expect, and how to do it]

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4. Establish Boundaries

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Just as a painter needs a canvas, a conniving person thrives where boundaries are undefined.

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Clearly outline what’s acceptable and what isn’t in your interactions. By setting firm boundaries, you restrict the playground they have to manipulate and control situations.

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5. Seek Support

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Remember, there’s strength in numbers. Talk to friends, family, or professionals who can offer advice, or at least lend a sympathetic ear. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

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They might provide insights you hadn’t considered, or simply be there as a pillar of support when dealing with a tricky conniving individual.

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6. Stay True to Yourself

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Amidst the cunning games and tactics, don’t lose sight of who you are. It’s easy to get caught up and start second-guessing oneself.

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Remember your values, beliefs, and stand firm. A conniving person’s influence wanes when faced with unwavering authenticity. [Read: 33 Secrets to be true to yourself and 15 signs to unfake your life]

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Turning Conniving Energy into Positive Outcomes

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So, you’ve been nodding along, and a sneaky thought pops up: “Wait, am I the conniving person being described here?” First, kudos on the self-awareness!

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Having some traits doesn’t mean you’re destined for villainy. With a tweak here and a nudge there, you can channel these energies into positive, impactful directions.

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1. Channel Traits for Good

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Every trait has its silver lining. If you find that you’re naturally persuasive or assertive, use that to champion causes close to your heart. [Read: 28 Self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]

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Rally people for community service, be the voice for those who can’t speak up, or lead teams with clarity and conviction. Being influential isn’t bad; it’s about how and where you wield that influence.

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2. Empathy Training

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Perhaps you’ve been the strategic, always-three-steps-ahead kind. But have you considered using that foresight to understand and resonate with others better?

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Engage in active listening, try putting yourself in others’ shoes, or even attend workshops focused on building empathy. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

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A deeper connection with others can transform the most calculating mind into a compassionate heart.

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3. Use Insight for Mediation

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If you’ve been adept at reading situations or people, consider becoming the peacemaker. With your insights, you can mediate conflicts, helping parties find common ground.

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It’s not about manipulating the outcome, but guiding people towards understanding and resolution. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the best ways to cut out the drama]

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4. Harness Adaptability

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Being able to change and adapt based on situations or company, if done transparently, can be a boon.

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This trait can be invaluable in diverse settings, from multicultural workplaces to navigating complex social dynamics. It’s about using adaptability to bridge gaps, not create them.

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5. Commit to Transparency

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If you’ve been the master of secrets, flip it by becoming the beacon of transparency. Start by being open about your intentions, thoughts, and feelings. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and learn to be loyal and loving]

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In work, it might mean clear communication about goals and expectations. In personal relationships, it’s about building trust through honesty.

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6. Seek Feedback and Grow

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Recognizing one’s own conniving tendencies is just the first step. Regularly seek feedback from friends, family, or colleagues. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection question to recognize the real YOU inside]

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Understand how your actions impact them, and be open to making changes. It’s a continuous journey of self-improvement and growth.

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Don’t Fall Prey to Them

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Understanding relationships and the intentions of those around us can be a bit of a challenge, especially when deciphering the maneuvers of a conniving person.

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But with this guide in hand, you’re primed to spot those sneaky behaviors and ensure you stand firm, not falling prey to them.

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[Read: 29 Secrets to set boundaries with a narcissist and typical ways they’d react]

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Next time you encounter a conniving person trying their best Scar impression *sans the catchy villain song, of course*, you’ll be steps ahead, ready to tackle the situation with knowledge and confidence. Remember, understanding is half the battle, and the other half? Well, that’s just being your awesome self!

The post 33 Signs of a Conniving Person & Secrets to Outsmart Their Sly Tactics is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

", "keywords": ", Signs, Conniving, Person, Secrets, Outsmart, Their, Sly, Tactics", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "128", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.lovepanky.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/conniving-person.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "94", "post_url": "https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/relationships/conniving-person", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-19 13:44:18", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40466", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Is It Trauma Bonding or Love?", "title_slug": "is-it-trauma-bonding-or-love", "title_hash": "09c2f2e896dace6ab3388edaa3fc3aa9", "summary": "\nOut of a fear of abandonment, we unknowingly abandon ourselves.\nThe post Is It Trauma Bonding or Love? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

$\"Couple-$

Out of a fear of abandonment, we unknowingly abandon ourselves.

The post Is It Trauma Bonding or Love? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": ", Trauma, Bonding, Love", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "137", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/GettyImages-1409905284-1-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/is-it-trauma-bonding-or-love/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:58:27", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40465", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: Help-My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Breaking Up Due To Fake Lifestyle", "title_slug": "true-life-story-help-my-marriage-is-on-the-verge-of-breaking-up-due-to-fake-lifestyle", "title_hash": "8b280e38c9948bf04813c55329e683f9", "summary": "True Life Story: Help-My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Breaking Up Due To Fake Lifestyle Hi Lively Stones, I need your advise. Its my husband’s fake lifestyle that is on the verge of breaking up our marriage. This man and I have had a rocky marriage for the last six years. I never saw […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: Help-My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Breaking Up Due To Fake Lifestyle

Hi Lively Stones,

I need your advise. Its my husband’s fake lifestyle that is on the verge of breaking up our marriage. This man and I have had a rocky marriage for the last six years. I never saw the signs until the second year of our marriage. I never knew my husband was living a fake life when we dated. He seemed comfortable as a banker so I did not really know about his money. But soon, I realized that I got married to someone who likes to show off that he has money and is living the Lagos big boy life but he had nothing.

By the time I realized he was living a pretentious lifestyle, I was already pregnant. We kept having issues of him clubbing (he used to say he goes to club for networking, to meet his targets at work), he was spending money he borrowed for clubs and buying flashy things like clothes, cars and latest phones and other gadgets.

Yes, he works in the bank but he does not earn as much as he pretends to earn. When I spoke to him to stop living this life of pretense, he said, everyone in Lagos is faking it until they made it especially bankers. I found out his colleagues too were into this kind of lifestyle. He used to say even big men like Bill Gates, Dangote and Otedola borrows money. So, there is nothing wrong in borrowing. We were always in debt. Our house rent was 4M, I told him lets move to the mainland where we will get cheaper rent but he said over his dead body will he move to mainland.

So we continued having arguments, hiding from debtors. Many times, I have bailed him from police custody for borrowing money. He also was involved in heavy betting and he was loosing money. Some of his family members was tired to talking to him….well, not many of them cos they liked to collect money from him, only his sister would talk sense to him. The rest pretended with him too. I got tired of talking and left him alone . The only thing I made sure was that, I tried to manage within my own finances cos I knew I could never depend on my husband. Of course, he never spent the money on me cos he felt I was always complaining and not supporting his lifestyle.

Its been six years of constant wahala in this marriage. Then, my car broke down and it needed almost 800k to fix. My husband refused to fix it. He said he will buy me a benz and I told him no, that we cant afford a benz. And how do we even maintain a bez? He is driving a Ford jeep and that is high maintenance already. Because of that, he refused to buy or help me fix my car. So, I started saving money to buy a car for myself. I have saved like 2M to buy any small car and I told him that I am looking for a car within that budget.

My budget is really small but my husband refused to help me. Then he asked me to loan him the 2M, that he wants to invest it for me, that he will make money on it and give me back 5M in three months. I refused because I know that is how he has been scamming people. As a banker, he will take money from customers, telling them he is investing and that is how he will put everything in betting and loose everything.

This issue caused a big quarrel. My husband says he is tired of me always on his case, that I dont trust him with money and he feels we are not compatible. I did not say anything but for several months, I have noticed he has been coming back home very late or sometimes, he will not come back for days. When I ask him, he will ignore me. I know he is seeing other women, that is why he does not come home.

This is really upsetting me cos before, I never suspected him cheating, only money issues but now, he is cheating on me. The signs are all there: he no longer has s3x with me and he never looks at me anymore…he says he regrets marrying me. So, I called his family to come and talk to him. When they came, he told them its because I refuse to trust him and give him my 2M, that he has decided to divorce me cos he realize that I am always against him and that is why he is not making financial progress.

Now, his family is taking his side, that as a woman, I should support my husband’s financial ambition cos if I dont, he will never do well in Life…and that its because instead of praying for my husband to make it, I am attacking his financial plans. I was stunned…which financial plans? my husband does not have any legal financial plans and his family is pretending not to know that. I am shocked. They said its my prayers that is hindering their brother from making it big. They say a woman is not supposed t challenge how the husband makes money.

And they also said, if I have money, its my husband’s money and so, that 2M that my husband asked for, that I should give it to him as a sign of submission and support to my husband. I don’t know how his family can turn against me and take his sides but this marriage just became very unbearable now. They are saying, if I don’t submit the money to my husband, that their brother can do whatever he likes including getting a divorce and sending me away and sleeping with other women.

I do not feel welcome anymore in this marriage….I feel exhausted living in this lie…all I see is a man going down the drain and he wants to drag me along with him. I fear that if something is not done, my husband will drown this family into financial debt that will sink us….I also fear that his cheating will continue and he may no longer be in love with me anymore. The cheating hurt me so much more than even the fake lifestyle…This is not how I planned my life but it looks like I have no choice but to start thinking of a future for myself….

More From Lively Stones

Please advice me…I do not want a divorce … I still love my husband….but things seems to have gone out of hand. How do I save my marriage? How do I get my husband to do the right thing? Should I give him the 2M, knowing he will squander it? Should I continue to submit foolishly to him and let him ruin us to stupor? Please advise me. I am going insane. I have 2 children who need their father and mother but our home seems to be breaking apart because of all these issues and I don’t know what else to do. I am on the verge of depression.

Please advise me.

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

Share This

", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Help-My, Marriage, The, Verge, Breaking, Due, Fake, Lifestyle", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "102", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Breaking-Up.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-help-my-marriage-is-on-the-verge-of-breaking-up-due-to-fake-lifestyle/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:58:24", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40315", "lang_id": "1", "title": "3 Ways Bias Can Impede the Learning Process", "title_slug": "3-ways-bias-can-impede-the-learning-process", "title_hash": "0002825ffcd1b8c6e0b68b194a102f0c", "summary": "Everybody wants to learn to do better. Yet some of the ways we can think about learning actually impede our progress – even while we THINK they HELP!\nIn the past few weeks, we’ve talked about post-field diagnostics. This is when you analyze your performance after each outing to identify potential problems and come up with solutions. I also recommended that you take time to reflect on what you did right so you can learn from those experiences, too.\n\nContents\nI. What Material Is Truly Useful?\nII. Some Biases\n\n\n“I Know What I Need to Work On”\n\n\n“I Know Where the Problem Is”\n\n\n“I Know Best”\n\n\nIII. Conclusion\n\nIt’s easier said than done, so I am sharing one more post to help with your overall diagnostics and train you to become your own coach.\nToday, I will cover three typical biases men face when troubleshooting their game and propose solutions.\nThese biases are very common. I bet that at least one of the three biases concerns you. It will help your game development if you know how and why", "content": "

$\"identifying$ Everybody wants to learn to do better. Yet some of the ways we can think about learning actually impede our progress – even while we THINK they HELP!

In the past few weeks, we’ve talked about post-field diagnostics. This is when you analyze your performance after each outing to identify potential problems and come up with solutions. I also recommended that you take time to reflect on what you did right so you can learn from those experiences, too.

Contents

I. What Material Is Truly Useful?

II. Some Biases

III. Conclusion

It’s easier said than done, so I am sharing one more post to help with your overall diagnostics and train you to become your own coach.

Today, I will cover three typical biases men face when troubleshooting their game and propose solutions.

These biases are very common. I bet that at least one of the three biases concerns you. It will help your game development if you know how and why it happens so that you do not fall for these biases.

First, let’s answer an important question that most may be asking. You will quickly see how this question refers to the biases we will uncover.

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", "keywords": ", Ways, Bias, Can, Impede, the, Learning, Process", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "145", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/learning-biases-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/3-ways-bias-can-impede-learning-process", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:50", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40313", "lang_id": "1", "title": "10 Reasons You're Not Able to Pick Up Girls", "title_slug": "10-reasons-youre-not-able-to-pick-up-girls", "title_hash": "dee4d0ed9f07cc71521eef65062fe3fc", "summary": "If you go out but you’re not able to pick up girls, why? It’s probably not what you think (looks, money, status, etc.). Instead, it is something ELSE.\nI’ve been teaching men how to pick up women for over 15 years now.\n\nContents\n1. Too Few Approaches\n2. Skipping the Basics\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"why$ If you go out but you’re not able to pick up girls, why? It’s probably not what you think (looks, money, status, etc.). Instead, it is something ELSE.

I’ve been teaching men how to pick up women for over 15 years now.

Contents

1. Too Few Approaches

2. Skipping the Basics

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", "keywords": ", Reasons, Youre, Not, Able, Pick, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "149", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/not-able-to-pick-up-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/10-reasons-youre-not-able-pick-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40314", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Never Get Flaked Again: A Guide to Investment and Qualification", "title_slug": "how-to-never-get-flaked-again-a-guide-to-investment-and-qualification", "title_hash": "6fab3d53665eae0480009868d498f27b", "summary": "If you chat up girls and win them over, only to have them flake on the date later, you were missing a few things: investment, qualification, + 2 more.\nThis post originally appeared on the forum here.\n\nI straight up got nothing but flakes for about 8 months straight.\nI was going mad. What the fuck was wrong?\nI was doing everything right.\nAll the infields looked exactly like my sets.\nThere was ALMOST nothing that really went in depth about this.\nJust crumbs and incomplete theories.\nA bunch of loose ends.\nNow...\nI. Never. Get. Flaked.\nIt just doesn't happen.\nIf I run the set well and in my mind, I'm not gonna get flaked, I never do.\nI completely fixed this problem, that \"floating/not real set\" issue completely.\nI also helped many people fix this in my local area and I'll share the info with you.\nI'll fix this once and for all.\n(PS: I'm sorry for that one exception out of a thousand girls that lost her mother in a camp fire later that day, got drunk, got back with her ex, cried herself to ", "content": "

$\"never$ If you chat up girls and win them over, only to have them flake on the date later, you were missing a few things: investment, qualification, + 2 more.

This post originally appeared on the forum here.

I straight up got nothing but flakes for about 8 months straight.

I was going mad. What the fuck was wrong?

I was doing everything right.

All the infields looked exactly like my sets.

There was ALMOST nothing that really went in depth about this.

Just crumbs and incomplete theories.

A bunch of loose ends.

Now...

I. Never. Get. Flaked.

It just doesn't happen.

If I run the set well and in my mind, I'm not gonna get flaked, I never do.

I completely fixed this problem, that \"floating/not real set\" issue completely.

I also helped many people fix this in my local area and I'll share the info with you.

I'll fix this once and for all.

(PS: I'm sorry for that one exception out of a thousand girls that lost her mother in a camp fire later that day, got drunk, got back with her ex, cried herself to insanity when she sobered up and hung herself to end her misery and thus couldn't text you back. \"She just wasn't into you, bro. You have the wrong skin-color.\")

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "How, Never, Get, Flaked, Again:, Guide, Investment, and, Qualification", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "145", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/never-get-flaked-on-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/how-never-get-flaked-again-guide-investment-and-qualification", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:49", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40312", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Socratic Questions for Under-the-Radar Effects", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-socratic-questions-for-under-the-radar-effects", "title_hash": "6103411e324f7917fa426a7e8eb75b52", "summary": "Socratic questioning is a powerful rhetorical technique for breaking people out of dogmatic beliefs. Use it to bust bad opinions… and turn girls into fans.\nEverybody’s had the experience of being in a conversation with someone and hitting points of resistance every which way.\nYou’re talking with a girl and she brings up some opinion you don’t agree with… then when you try to get her off the topic she won’t budge, insisting on staying with this disagreeable topic. Maybe it’s a political opinion, or a cultural one, or something else. Whatever it is, it’s grating to your ears, and it’s allll she wants to talk about.\nIf you express the contrary opinion, you’re certain she’ll blow up. And in any event, debates about opinions aren’t sexy. Not conducive to seduction.\nIf you just go along with her opinion and feign agreement, you risk looking insincere, especially if it’s an opinion you don’t hold, and especially if it’s one that undermines you (e.g., her: “Men are just so obsessed with sex it", "content": "

$\"TEXT\"$ Socratic questioning is a powerful rhetorical technique for breaking people out of dogmatic beliefs. Use it to bust bad opinions… and turn girls into fans.

Everybody’s had the experience of being in a conversation with someone and hitting points of resistance every which way.

You’re talking with a girl and she brings up some opinion you don’t agree with… then when you try to get her off the topic she won’t budge, insisting on staying with this disagreeable topic. Maybe it’s a political opinion, or a cultural one, or something else. Whatever it is, it’s grating to your ears, and it’s allll she wants to talk about.

If you express the contrary opinion, you’re certain she’ll blow up. And in any event, debates about opinions aren’t sexy. Not conducive to seduction.

If you just go along with her opinion and feign agreement, you risk looking insincere, especially if it’s an opinion you don’t hold, and especially if it’s one that undermines you (e.g., her: “Men are just so obsessed with sex it’s disgusting. I hope you’re not like that”).

You can agree and amplify, which is going to work in some cases by turning it from a serious debate into a funny bit of banter… but if she’s too deep into ‘rant mode’ (or she’s one of those totally humorless chicks) even this may backfire.

What if there was a way you could defuse all her wound-up energy around this opinion, while allowing her to feel a lot more connected to you, while at the SAME TIME even potentially pointing out some cracks in her thinking that lead her to reconsider her most staunchly-held beliefs?

There is such a way:

Socratic questioning.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Socratic, Questions, for, Under-the-Radar, Effects", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "159", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/socratic-questions-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-socratic-questions-under-radar-effects", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:48", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40311", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Frugal Mom Stirs Controversy by Charging Parents for Playdates with Her Kids", "title_slug": "frugal-mom-stirs-controversy-by-charging-parents-for-playdates-with-her-kids", "title_hash": "68420b9331e8b8c6fc127cec7a910357", "summary": "Brianna Weimar, a mom from Monroe, Washington, has stirred up a big discussion online. In a recent TikTok…", "content": "Brianna Weimar, a mom from Monroe, Washington, has stirred up a big discussion online. In a recent TikTok…", "keywords": "Frugal, Mom, Stirs, Controversy, Charging, Parents, for, Playdates, with, Her, Kids", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "107", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/image3.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/frugal-mom-stirs-controversy-by-charging-parents-for-playdates-with-her-kids/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40310", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Neutralize Coffee Acid in Your Stomach", "title_slug": "how-to-neutralize-coffee-acid-in-your-stomach", "title_hash": "303d20a13d0f62c323f1065a1727c6e3", "summary": "Got Acid Reflux? Adding This One Thing to Your Coffee Can Help", "content": "No matter how much you love coffee, it may not love you back — if, like 60 million other Americans, you have acid reflux. With this common GI disorder, drinking those beloved cold brews and lattes can trigger heartburn, indigestion, nausea, belching, and even regurgitation. So, how do you prevent acid reflux from drinking coffee? That's where the Alkamind Acid-Kicking Coffee Alkalizer comes in: it’s packed with acid-fighting minerals to help neutralize the effects of your morning cup of java. Is it any surprise Ryan Seacrest and Kelly Ripa are huge fans of the product?\r\nAs someone who struggled with acid reflux for a good portion of adolescence into adulthood, the Coffee Alkalizer has become a staple in my household. But how does it work? And how do you use it?\r\nRELATED: How to Get Rid of Bloat in a Hurry, According to Experts\r\nHere’s what to know.\r\n\r\nWhy Does Coffee Trigger Acid Reflux?\r\n\r\nThe main reason why coffee often causes or worsens acid reflux symptoms is that it’s loaded with acids — which contribute to its characteristic taste, but also can wreak havoc on your stomach. In fact, according to Dr. Daryl Gioffre, a board-certified chiropractor, functional nutritionist, and founder of Alkamind, its pH level is around 5 on a scale of zero to 14 (with zero being the most acidic).\r\n \r\n“That means coffee is about 100 times more acidic than the water we drink,” explains Gioffre.\r\nIn other words, it can increase the release of acid into your stomach, which can then lead to reflux. \r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Coffee Lovers\r\n“There are a lot of benefits to coffee, but the one big downside is that it’s loaded with acid, and it’s the acidity that causes bloating, indigestion, acid reflux, gut irritation and inflammation — and many other downstream problems in the body, both mentally and physically,” Gioffre adds.\r\n\r\nWhy the Alkamind Acid-Kicking Coffee Alkalizer Works\r\n\r\n\r\n“I work with so many clients who want to heal their gut and be healthy but are not willing to give up their coffee,” Gioffre tells AskMen. “Being healthy is not about deprivation and giving up the foods and beverages you love, it's about finding better versions of those to put inside your body.”\r\nAdding just one scoop of the Acid-Kicking Coffee Alkalizer neutralizes these problematic acids in your coffee before you even take your first sip.\r\nThe power of this product lies in the minerals it contains — magnesium, potassium, calcium, and sodium bicarbonate — which can help increase the pH level of the coffee, thereby reducing its acid levels. \r\n“These minerals act as buffers, neutralizing some of the most acidic and gut-damaging compounds in coffee, and making your coffee smoother and easier on the entire digestive system,” explains Gioffre. “By alkalizing your coffee with these acid-fighting minerals, you will lower inflammation in your gut, gain energy, and take the stress off your body from having to neutralize all these acids on its own.”\r\nRELATED: What Is 'Proffee'? Here’s Why Fitness Pros Are Combining Protein With Coffee\r\nMagnesium is particularly effective at neutralizing stomach acid — which is why it’s such a common ingredient in over-the-counter antacid medication. But the benefits to magnesium don’t stop there. It can also help to ward off headaches and migraines — a not-so-uncommon side effect of consuming a lot of caffeinated drinks like coffee. What’s more — magnesium can reduce how much cortisol is sent to your brain. Cortisol is one of your body’s stress hormones, and studies have repeatedly shown that the caffeine in coffee causes your body to release more of it. By leveling out your cortisol, magnesium may help to minimize the jitters and anxiety you feel after drinking a cup of joe.\r\n \r\n\r\nHow to Make Coffee Less Acidic With the Alkamind Acid-Kicking Coffee Alkalizer\r\n\r\nThis product couldn’t possibly be simpler to use. Just add one scoop to your iced coffee, hot coffee, cold brew, or espresso and stir well. One scoop can effectively neutralize the acid in as much as 22 ounces of coffee. \r\nAccording to Gioffre, the flavorless Acid-Kicking Black Coffee Alkalizer reduces over 99.9% of the acids in your coffee — and I can attest to the fact that it doesn’t impact the taste whatsoever. I might even forget it’s there, if it didn’t make such a huge difference in minimizing the discomfort after drinking my favorite beverage. I love that it comes in individual packets, which are convenient for taking on the go. I always keep a few in my purse so I can use it when I’m traveling, or buying coffee from a local cafe rather than making it at home. I’ve found that it mixes particularly easily in hot liquids. If, like me, you prefer iced coffees and lattes, try using a handheld milk frother or even a cocktail shaker to ensure it blends well.\r\n \r\nI love that the four flavored versions — vanilla, salted caramel, mocha, and hazelnut — are sweetened with stevia, which is one of the only sugar-free options that isn’t linked to potentially harmful health effects. Not only do the flavored Alkalizers boast the acid-fighting minerals, but they also feature MCT and coconut oils — which send signals of “fullness” to your brain to help reduce your appetite — as well as Himalayan pink salt, which contains more calcium, potassium, magnesium, and other minerals than traditional table salt. Plus, they contain a digestive enzyme blend that helps your body more effectively break down fats and other macronutrients. \r\nThe Hazelnut Alkalizer has the added benefit of brain-boosting nootropics like lion’s mane mushroom and L-theanine. Research shows that lion’s mane, which is known for its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant effects, may help stimulate the growth of brain cells and improve cognitive performance while also supporting gut health. Studies have found that the amino acid L-theanine can increase brain chemicals that reduce stress and anxiety and promote relaxation. Additionally, L-theanine can help you stay focused — and according to a 2019 study, this particular benefit is enhanced when consumed with caffeine-containing drinks like coffee.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nGuide to the Pre-Workout CoffeeHow to Make Cafe Quality Coffee at Home Why Liposomal Supplements Are the Way of the Future", "keywords": "How, Neutralize, Coffee, Acid, Your, Stomach", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-to-neutralize-coffee-acid-in-your-stomach/askmen-lead-image-template-1715695545.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/how-to-neutralize-coffee-acid-in-your-stomach.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:45", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40306", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What She's Thinking When You Send Her a Dick Pic", "title_slug": "what-shes-thinking-when-you-send-her-a-dick-pic", "title_hash": "3a58945aaf34d893b15de77bcdda044a", "summary": "Thinking of Sending Her Some Explicit Photos? Read This First", "content": "When it comes to guys, every girl has her thing. Be it dimples or lips or shoulders or arms, there’s no shortage of beautiful body parts that we could appreciate for hours. But despite what many of you may have been led to believe (by who, we have no clue) an unsolicited picture of your junk isn’t one of them. Certainly not on its own, and especially if we don’t have a personal relationship with it.\r\n\r\nSo stop sending us dick pics we didn't ask for.\r\nRELATED: The Best Sexting Apps\r\nSeriously, we don’t want to see them. In cases where we're actually interested in said junk, imagining it is more than enough. (And probably better, too.) And while it's hard to pinpoint when exactly sending dick pics became an acceptable “thing”, or who told you it was OK, all I can tell you, on behalf of every girl I know, is that they lied. And whatever you think you’re doing or saying or achieving with these little treasures of yours, it's the exact opposite that comes through.\r\n\r\nHere’s a look what happens on the other side after you press send. \r\n\r\n10 Things She's Really Thinking When You Send Her An Unsolicited Dick Pic\r\n\r\n1. \"Ew, Gross\"\r\nIf you’re not going to take a few minutes to make sure the picture is actually worth it — grooming, lighting, angles, clear composition so that we don’t mistake graininess and shadows for something much worse — don’t take it. And though you may be proud of how big Jr. is, or how many rodeos you two have won together, none of that translates in a picture. None.\r\nThe best way to make a woman think your penis is beautiful is to use it to please her. Because a visual is only going to remind her of every other penis she’s ever seen, and trust me, you don’t want her to go down that road. \r\n2. She Feels Violated\r\nOnce the shock has settled, this is the feeling that registers. And just so we’re clear, it's not so much violated in a sexual harassment kind of way — though, I think it’s probably worth mentioning that would stand under the law as such if things ever ended up going that way, FYI. But no, I mean in a ‘robbed of her innocence’ kind of way. Because she can’t unsee what she just saw. Nor can she really get back to whatever it was she was doing before your penis interrupted her day, not comfortably anyway. It's there, burned into her memory, forever. And all she sees is penis now, everywhere. (And not in a good way.) So, thanks for that. \r\n3. You Obviously Don’t Respect Her\r\nTo put it plainly, we’ve fallen for enough bull enough times to get that there is absolutely no part of sending her a dick pic that says, “Hey, this is because I care.” And to try to convince us that it’s some kind of twisted compliment or funny joke is really just a tad insulting.\r\nThe fact is, the only message a move like this sends, and quite clearly at that, is that you see her as a certain type of girl. More specifically, the kind of girl that is only good for one thing. And that's not going to get you anywhere, no matter how true or not that is. \r\n4. She Obviously Can’t Respect You\r\nI mean, how can she? Not only is it clear that you don’t respect her, but quite possibly (and more concerning) women all that much in general. Biggest turn-off possible. \r\n5. You Clearly Don't Have Much to Offer\r\nMuch like those girls on Instagram who post about their new favorite lipgloss topless in a G-string, starting with your penis says just about everything we need to know about the kind of guy you are. Mainly that you are a douche without any social skills or halfway decent understanding of women. Not to mention the sense of humor of a tween. Not exactly the “catch” we’re looking for, in fact, it's literally the opposite.\r\nAnd no penis, no matter how large or wonderful, can compensate for that. \r\n6. You’re Not to Be Taken Seriously\r\nBecause if you don’t, how is she supposed to? At very best you thought sending her a dick pic was either very funny or very sexy (honestly, I’m not even sure which you were more wrong about), and at very worst you think she’s cheap, and decided to lead with that. No guy who takes himself seriously, or let alone wants others to, chooses to start so low. \r\n7. Where Did Things Go Wrong?\r\nAs in, at what point is this how you interpreted what she wanted from your interactions together? One of life's greatest mysteries is how men tend to mistake a woman’s basic kindness for wanting to have sex. And really, even that's a stretch because we don’t even need to be kind, sometimes just our very existence is enough. And yet, the worst part is that when we do get something like this from a guy, we very often end up questioning ourselves, and whether we did in fact mistakenly send the wrong message somehow, at one point. \r\n8. Did She Ask for This?\r\nThis sends us into a mass (albeit quick) review of everything we’ve ever said, done or posted since knowing you. A quick scan of the social accounts to see if they could be interpreted as desperate or thirsty, and mental run through of all conversations, emails and/or texts we’ve shared to see if any unintentional asking to see your penis ever took place.\r\nIn most cases, it doesn’t take long to come to the rather comforting conclusion no, in fact we did not accidentally demand a photo of your naked crotch at any point; this is just you getting up to no good all by yourself.\r\n9. Sharing Is Caring\r\nObviously, if you’re sending this to her it’s because you want it to be seen, right? So who is she to stop that from happening? There's a good chance she'll want to share it with some friends. Of course her share will come with a little more backstory — name, social accounts, relationship history — not to mention a few eye rolls and jokes about color and size you’d probably be happy you don’t have to hear, but that’s sort of what you signed up for when you sent an unsolicited dick pic. Also, she will not be the only one traumatized by this — this is exactly the kind of sh*t girlfriends were invented for.\r\n10. What Exactly Was the Goal Here?\r\nThis is part we always get stuck at — the point. As in, what is it? To lure her in? Turn her on? Get her to send one back? Because that’s not how you do that. Visuals are your thing, remember? We like, and need, the build-up, the anticipation and mystery of it all. That’s Intro to Women 101. The only thing an aerial view of your member does for us is generate a look of disgust and a conjure a shrieking “Ewwww!” I mean really, what did you expect?\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tAverage Erect Penis Girth and Length\r\n\tHow to Figure Out Your Lust Language\r\n\t5 Things Women Secretly Want in Bed", "keywords": "What, Shes, Thinking, When, You, Send, Her, Dick, Pic", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "124", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-she-s-thinking-when-you-send-her-a-dick-pic/askmen-lead-image-template-2-1715705109.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-she-s-thinking-when-you-send-her-a-dick-pic.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40307", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Dating Apps Can Make You Feel Lonelier Than Ever", "title_slug": "why-dating-apps-can-make-you-feel-lonelier-than-ever", "title_hash": "d2ced8629ae723731cde447214e08ba9", "summary": "Dating Apps Are All About Making Connections. So Why Do They Make Us Feel So Lonely?", "content": "No, it’s not just you: In a sea of online dating profiles and potential matches, it’s possible to feel lonelier than ever while using dating apps. \r\n“On one hand, it's super easy to meet loads of people, but on the other, it can feel kind of lonely and disconnected. It's weird how swiping through profiles, trying to find that 'perfect match,' can actually make us feel unseen and unsatisfied,” says Dr. Brooke Keels, chief clinical officer at Lighthouse Recovery. \r\nNearly 4 in 5 people aged 18-54 experience some level of emotional fatigue or burnout when dating online, according to a Singles Reports study. Moreover, men are more likely than women to experience those feelings often. \r\nRELATED: How to Make Online Dating Work for You \r\nKnowing that others share your struggles may be comforting. But it still doesn’t address the core of the issue: How can dating apps breed so much disconnect while simultaneously providing so many opportunities to connect? Here’s what you need to know – and what you can do if swiping has you feeling lonely. \r\n\r\n5 Reasons Dating Apps Can Make You Feel Lonely\r\n\r\nOnline Dating Can Feel Superficial \r\nAt first, online dating is full of promise. \r\n“Dating apps can give the impression of limitless matches, potential partner similarity, and the ability to connect from the comfort of your home,” says Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford. \r\nHowever, it’s easy for frustration and confusion to creep in with every swipe. \r\nFirst, there’s the focus on physical appearance. In real life, looks may also be one of the first things that you notice about someone and vice-versa. \r\nRELATED: How to Have Dating Success No Matter What You Look Like \r\nThere’s nothing wrong with that per se, but when you’re mindlessly looking at dozens of different faces in the span of minutes, it can start feeling superficial. \r\nIt Can Be Hard to Foster Authenticity\r\nIt can also be difficult to get a sense of someone’s real vibe – or convey yours – online. Context can get lost when you’re reading profile descriptions and exchanging DMs. \r\nRELATED: Common Mistakes Guys Make Sending Dating Messages\r\n“Online dating profiles can be misleading, missing cues like facial expressions, body language, and genuine comments — not catchphrases generated by an app,” says Dr. Bates-Duford. “It can be hard to gauge authenticity and sincerity.”\r\nSome people even lie on their profile. There’s pressure to present yourself in a certain way, which can further erode authenticity. And since authenticity is the backbone of meaningful connection, using apps can leave you feeling empty. \r\nGetting Matches Can Be a Challenge\r\nPlus, if you’re a heterosexual man, getting matches can be a challenge. \r\n“Men and women simply swipe differently,” says Kristian Boe, founder of Swipestats.io. “While men swipe right on about 35% of profiles, women only swipe right on about 2.5% of profiles. So if you're not in the top 20% of profiles as a man, you basically get zero action, which contributes to frustration.” \r\nRELATED: Why Women Have Higher Standards in Dating \r\nMen Are More Likely to Experience Loneliness Generally\r\nAs Bates-Duford notes, loneliness is not the physical state of being alone, but the emotional feeling and/or state of being alone.\r\n“Loneliness involves a lack of deep and satisfying relationships, connection, and negative quality of existing relationships,” she explains. “Dating apps can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, as it often takes an extended period of time to build relationships with someone you meet online.” \r\nUnfortunately, men are more likely to experience social isolation and a lack of quality relationships in the first place. Recent research shows that men’s social circles are shrinking, and it’s worse for younger men. According to an American Perspectives Survey, over one in four men under the age of 30 reported having no close social connections. \r\nSo, if you turn to dating apps because you crave connection in general, you may quickly end up feeling lonely. \r\nRELATED: The Importance of Close Friendships for Men \r\nReal Connection Takes Time \r\nEven if you’re meeting plenty of people, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to connect with them on a deeper level. \r\n“When you dive into online dating, the real challenge isn't just about finding someone,” says Keels. “It's about finding real, meaningful connections that go beyond just chatting online.”\r\nRELATED: The Difference Between Attraction & Compatibility \r\n“It feels like there's this silent struggle with feeling lonely, especially with all the pressure from society to seem always connected and totally in control,” she adds. “But what we're really after is someone who gets us, someone we can share true intimacy and understanding with.” \r\n\r\n5 Tips to Counter Dating App-Induced Loneliness\r\n\r\nWhile online dating comes with downsides and frustrations, it can still lead to positive experiences. There are ways to enjoy using apps and replace pangs of loneliness with more hopeful feelings. Here are a few tips: \r\nSeparate Your Self-Worth From Outcomes \r\n“I wish men knew how to separate their dating app results from their self-worth,” says Boe. \r\nIn order to do this, it’s important to adjust your mindset. Are you hoping to get matches for a boost of validation? If so, a lack of matches will get you down. \r\nRELATED: How to Get More Right Swipes on Dating Apps \r\nHowever, being open to exploring whether there’s mutual interest without taking things personally will lead to a more satisfying online dating experience. \r\nTake Breaks As Needed\r\nSometimes you just need to take a step back. \r\n“Taking a break from the thing that makes you feel lonely does help,” adds Boe. \r\nRELATED: How to Handle Online Dating Burnout\r\nYou can’t combat dating app fatigue by forcing yourself to try again and again. It’s usually a sign to shift gears and tend to your emotional needs in other ways. \r\nTalk to People in Real Life\r\nThis may sound like a crazy idea, but try talking to people in real life. \r\n“Attend social groups, speed dating, start up a conversation with someone interesting, go out with friends, and go to places where people you may be interested in will be,” says Bates-Duford. \r\nRELATED: How to Chat Up Attractive Women in Person\r\nEven if it doesn’t lead anywhere, it may well help you feel more connected than looking at your screen. \r\nEngage in Self-Reflection \r\nIf you’re feeling lonely, it’s a good time to check in with yourself. What do you value? What are you looking for in your romantic life? Do you feel satisfied with your other relationships? \r\n“Doing some self-reflection to figure out what we really want and need can help us create more meaningful connections, both on and offline,” says Keels. \r\nEmbrace Vulnerability \r\nBeing vulnerable can be scary, but it can also lead to more meaningful interactions. So, try showing more of who you are while dating. It won’t guarantee that everyone you meet on apps will be genuine, but it will increase your chances of experiencing genuine connection. \r\nFinally, if you feel chronically lonely, you may want to try opening up to a trusted friend or professional. It’s more common than you think, and talking about it is one of the best things you can do to combat isolation. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWays to Meet Women Outside of Bars & ClubsDating Tips for Shy Guys\r\nWhy Dating Sucks, Revealed", "keywords": "Why, Dating, Apps, Can, Make, You, Feel, Lonelier, Than, Ever", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "158", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/datings-apps-loneliness/askmen-lead-image-template-28-1715706671.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating-advice/datings-apps-loneliness.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40308", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Masturbating to Deal With Dating Stress", "title_slug": "masturbating-to-deal-with-dating-stress", "title_hash": "cddd34dad5feeb4a744394d8da71ba3f", "summary": "Study Suggests a Ton of Men Use Solo Pleasure to Deal With Stress Before a Date", "content": "The Story\r\nIt’s a pretty common experience to feel anxiety before a date — aka first-date jitters. \r\nBut how stressful is dating overall? That’s what dating app Flirtini wanted to know when it ran a survey recently to ask 2,000 people how cool, calm and collected they are when seeking connection. \r\nRELATED: Best Ideas to Help Guarantee a Great First Date \r\nThe Snapshot\r\nOne finding from the study is that there’s a non-trivial gender breakdown when it comes to experiencing dating stress. \r\nRELATED: What She's Thinking Before Your Date \r\nNearly 3 in 5 women (58%) said they experienced dating stress either daily or often, compared to just about 1 in 3 men (35%). \r\n\r\nThat gap in stress levels has consequences — about 2 in 3 women have canceled a date to due anxiety, whereas for men it’s just 1 in 4.\r\n\r\nThen there’s this stat — 46% of men seek sexual release to calm themselves before a date, likely via masturbation. \r\nThe Lesson\r\nJerking off before a date is hardly a new concept. Using the reality of your refractory period to help ensure that you are less likely to prematurely ejaculate is something that guys have likely been engaging in for as long as the concept of dating as existed. \r\nBut modern understandings of the health benefits of masturbation can help us unlock a new reason to engage in some self pleasure before an evening out.\r\nThat’s because the brain chemicals released during an orgasm will help decrease your stress levels, helping you to be more calm and centred as you head out for your night — or day — on the town.\r\nRELATED: Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life \r\nOther than that, a big takeaway from this study is that women feel more dating stress than men. So if you’re one of the many men who date women, that’s not a bad thing to keep in mind as you navigate the dating world. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat to Wear on a First DateThings You Shouldn't Say on a First Date\r\nWorst First Date Situations", "keywords": "Masturbating, Deal, With, Dating, Stress", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "125", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/masturbating-to-deal-with-dating-stress/askmen-lead-image-template-24-1715099984.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/masturbating-to-deal-with-dating-stress.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40309", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Cheap Sunglasses for Men", "title_slug": "best-cheap-sunglasses-for-men", "title_hash": "38e8d6dd53552d6d95ee5f5371ede901", "summary": "Having the perfect pair of sunglasses is a must for any outdoor activity, especially during the summer months. Sunglasses are designed to protect your eyes from the harmful ultraviolet rays of the sun. However, sunglasses are more than just some specs that keep your eyes from getting burned. They’re also an essential accessory that can help elevate your outfit on any given day.\r\nSunglasses come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Making it difficult to hone in one pair that suits you well, but it's always great to have endless options on deck. One thing about shades is that they can be expensive, depending on their brand. But there are just as many inexpensive sunglasses for men that are just as stylish as Ray-Bans. Not only will cheap shades save you some money, but they will allow you to splurge your money on other items that you might need, like a new pair of sneakers.\r\nWhen choosing a pair of sunglasses, it’s key to make sure that they suit your face shape. You also want su", "content": "Having the perfect pair of sunglasses is a must for any outdoor activity, especially during the summer months. Sunglasses are designed to protect your eyes from the harmful ultraviolet rays of the sun. However, sunglasses are more than just some specs that keep your eyes from getting burned. They’re also an essential accessory that can help elevate your outfit on any given day.\r\nSunglasses come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Making it difficult to hone in one pair that suits you well, but it's always great to have endless options on deck. One thing about shades is that they can be expensive, depending on their brand. But there are just as many inexpensive sunglasses for men that are just as stylish as Ray-Bans. Not only will cheap shades save you some money, but they will allow you to splurge your money on other items that you might need, like a new pair of sneakers.\r\nWhen choosing a pair of sunglasses, it’s key to make sure that they suit your face shape. You also want sunglasses to compliment your style and add depth to your outfit. But investing in an everyday pair of sunglasses to run errands in is a smart investment too.\r\nRELATED: Best Sunglasses for Your Face Shape\r\nRemember when buying a pair of sunnies, you don’t have to spend your money on designer sunglasses to look good. Cheap sunglasses are just as stylish and durable as a pair of name-brand styles as well, and today, most less expensive pairs offer great UV protection too.\r\nTo help you save time choosing a new pair of sunglasses, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite styles, from aviators to classic round frames. No matter which ones you buy, you will end up looking cool as hell while protecting your eyes.\r\n\r\nBest Cheap Sunglasses\r\n\r\nExtremus Kennesaw Polarized Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nFrom boating sunglasses on the lake to fishing sunglasses in the bay, these sunnies, with a unique light brown polarized lens, will protect your eyes from the UV rays. The Extremus sunglasses are perfect for all outdoor activities as it is lightweight and provides maximum comfort all day. They'll last you a lifetime, thanks to their extreme flexibility, heat resistance, and shape integrity.\r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nWarby Parker Percy Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nWarby Parker has become the go-to brand for the ideal pair of shades, and we can’t be mad at it because their product quality is impeccable. That's why we suggest you grab these Percy sunglasses. The light-green frame is the perfect color for summer, and they’re sure to catch the attention of others. What's more, Warby Parker makes it easy to turn these into your new prescription sunglasses. \r\nFrom $150 at WarbyParker.com\r\nArnette Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nLooking for a pair of sunglasses that have a bit of an edgy feel? Opt for these gray rectangle sunglasses from Arnette with blue tinted lenses. They have an inked mirror lens and look great on anyone. If you aren’t into the color gray, then they have a white pair as well.\r\n$47 at SunglassHut.com\r\nHuckberry Sunseeker Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re someone who doesn’t like flashy over the top sunglasses, then the Huckberry Sunseekers are a great buy. These sunglasses are the perfect pair of shades everyday wear, any day of the week. Available in three stylish shades, there is a classic frame and lens color combo for just about everyone.\r\n$39 at Huckberry.com\r\nAIRE Whirlpool Aviator Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you like the aviator look but don't want to pay for the name brand pair, the Whirlpool shades from AIRE are a great compromise. They're made from sturdy recycled polycarbonate and boast a bold, rock star styling that is guaranteed to turn heads on the beach or at a pool party.\r\n$39 at Nordstrom.com\r\nASOS Design Square Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nNot everyone can pull off square sunglasses, but if you have the right look, they're a bold alternative to the more bland, generic shades most people will be rocking. We love this pair from ASOS Design, not only because of the price, but also because the build quality and design, from the molded nose pads to the curved arms, leave nothing to be desired.\r\n$14.99 at ASOS.com\r\nJ+S Aviator Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you weren’t a fan of the previous aviator sunglasses, then we have another pair that is sure to win you over. These classic aviator shades feature an adjustable nose pad and a metallic alloy frame that is both lightweight and durable. They have a multi-layered lens that’ll block and filter out harmful rays and harsh glares. The sunglasses come in three different frame colors: gold, silver, and black.\r\n$18.99 at Amazon.com\r\nDollger Rimless Rectangle Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nRimless rectangle sunglasses have been the go-to accessory of the summer. Instagram influencers and fashion fanatics everywhere have been wearing them. So here's your chance to hop on the popular trend. And best of all, you get two pairs for under $20, so if you're on a budget, this is a great choice.\r\n$16.99 at Amazon.com\r\nTJUTR Photochromic Lens Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nIn search of some cheap sunglasses that you can throw on no matter what you may be doing? Go for these photochromic lens shades. They will keep your eyes protected from those harmful rays whether you’re walking the beach or doing some lawn work thanks to the progressive lens technology. You can’t go wrong with these sunglasses, and you won’t regret buying them. Did we mention, they come in handy when driving through a tunnel or as your go to cycling sunglasses?\r\n$22.99 at Amazon.com\r\nWalker Metal Oval Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nAre you looking for a sunglass style that’ll have you looking dapper and make you feel like you’re in a '70s film? Then cop yourself a pair of the Walker Metal Oval Sunglasses. They feature darkened UV-blocking lenses and a padded nose bridge. Once you wear these once, you’ll never want to wear any other pair of sunglasses.\r\n$20 at UrbanOutfitters.com\r\n\r\n\r\nGoodfellow & Co Gold Sunglasses\r\n\r\nThese Goodfellow & Co sunglasses will look good on just about any guy, no matter their age or face shape. Not to mention, they help to elevate their style as well.\r\n$15 at Target.com\r\nUniqlo Aviator Sunglasses\r\n\r\n\r\nAre you looking for an accessory to bring your outfit together for your big night out in the city? Well, you should definitely consider buying these aviator-inspired sunglass style. The retro design shades are just what you need to take your subtle look to new heights. This lens color is so light, you could even use them as a blue light glasses in a pinch.\r\n$29.90 at Uniqlo.com\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Shorts for Summer\r\n\tBest Watches Under $500\r\n\tBest Sunglasses for Men", "keywords": "Best, Cheap, Sunglasses, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "139", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-cheap-sunglasses-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1715694994.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/best-cheap-sunglasses-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:40:44", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40300", "lang_id": "1", "title": "25 Calm Must-Knows to Have a Difficult Conversation & Not Lose Your Nerve", "title_slug": "25-calm-must-knows-to-have-a-difficult-conversation-not-lose-your-nerve", "title_hash": "2cdf4fde52b37f38776cdb34dd36bfbb", "summary": "Nobody likes the potential for conflict, but learning how to have a difficult conversation will steer you towards a positive outcome. \nThe post 25 Calm Must-Knows to Have a Difficult Conversation & Not Lose Your Nerve is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.", "content": "

Nobody likes the potential for conflict, but learning how to have a difficult conversation will steer you toward a positive outcome.

$\"How$ \n\n\n\n

Think back to the last time you had a conversation with someone that you were dreading. You probably built it up in your mind to epic proportions. Then, you lost your nerve at the last minute and didn’t end up going through with it. If this sounds familiar, learn how to have a difficult conversation and follow through.

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Knowing how to navigate a difficult conversation isn’t something that people are just born knowing how to do. It takes time, patience, and understanding to be able to have these types of conversations and achieve a positive outcome.

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Of course, there is the risk of possible conflict. Sometimes people don’t like to be on the receiving end of these types of conversations either! [Read: Fear of confrontation: What it is, how it feels & 23 secrets to overcome it]

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Reasons Not to Avoid Difficult Conversations

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Ever had that sinking feeling in your stomach when you know you’ve got to broach a topic you’d much rather sweep under the rug?

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We’ve all been there, imagining every worst-case scenario. But why, oh why, must we venture into these treacherous conversational waters?

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A difficult conversation, simply put, is any discussion where the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. This often happens because, according to psychological principles, high-stakes situations trigger our innate fight or flight response, heightening emotions and making rational discourse challenging.

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Think telling a friend they’ve hurt your feelings, asking a partner to change a bothersome habit, or discussing performance issues with an employee.

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1. Builds Stronger Relationships

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Engaging in difficult conversations can actually strengthen relationships. A study by The Journal of Conflict Resolution showed that addressing conflicts can increase understanding and empathy between parties. [Read: 23 secrets & real life problems that make a relationship stronger]

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Imagine finally discussing the lingering issue with your friend. You’ll likely find a new level of depth and trust in your friendship, making the temporary discomfort worth it.

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2. Promotes Personal Growth

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Difficult conversations are kind of like mental gyms; they stretch and strengthen your emotional intelligence. Facing challenging topics requires self-awareness, empathy, and adaptability.

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Each tough talk you navigate contributes to your personal development, making you more equipped for future challenges.

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3. Prevents Small Issues from Becoming Bigger

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Addressing an issue early on can stop it from snowballing into something unmanageable. Think about a small misunderstanding at work that, left unaddressed, could escalate into a major conflict. Early intervention keeps things manageable and less daunting, right?

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4. Enhances Self-Esteem

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Successfully navigating a difficult conversation can positively impact your self-esteem. A study found that individuals who effectively manage challenging interpersonal situations at work tend to report higher self-efficacy.

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This sense of achievement in handling tough scenarios translates into greater confidence in their abilities. It’s a practical demonstration of how overcoming communication hurdles can bolster an individual’s belief in themselves. [Read: High self-esteem: 33 low signs, what hurts self-worth & secrets to pump it]

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5. Leads to Better Solutions and Compromises

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Conversations that tackle tough topics often lead to more creative and effective solutions. When you openly discuss issues, you’re more likely to come up with a compromise that satisfies all parties involved. It’s a collaborative process where everyone’s needs can be more effectively met.

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6. Fosters a Culture of Openness

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In a workplace setting, facing difficult conversations head-on fosters a culture of transparency and honesty. Instead of giving your coworker Jon the side-eye for eating your lunch, imagine addressing it directly with him.

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This approach not only resolves the immediate issue but also sets a precedent for open communication. Such a culture encourages everyone to speak up and address issues promptly, leading to a more positive and productive work environment where misunderstandings are cleared up and problems are tackled effectively.

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7. Reduces Stress and Anxiety

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Avoiding difficult conversations often leads to increased stress and anxiety, as unresolved issues linger in your mind. [Read: Signs of anxiety: How to read the signs ASAP & handle them better]

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Studies have shown that confronting these issues can lead to a significant reduction in stress, as the uncertainty and ‘what ifs’ are addressed. It’s about facing the fear and finding relief on the other side.

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8. Improves Decision Making

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Having difficult conversations often requires critical thinking and problem-solving skills. This process can enhance your decision-making abilities, as you learn to weigh different perspectives and outcomes.

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9. Encourages Self-Reflection

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Engaging in difficult conversations often leads to moments of self-reflection, much like those times when you’re stewing in frustration only to realize, after the talk, that your perspective was off. This kind of situation pushes you to reassess your assumptions and consider other viewpoints.

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It’s a valuable opportunity to understand not just the people around you, but also your own values, beliefs, and behaviors.

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Such introspection can be eye-opening, offering chances for personal growth and a better understanding of your relationships. [Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

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10. Leads to a More Authentic Life

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Lastly, engaging in difficult conversations allows you to express your true thoughts and feelings. Authenticity is crucial for living a fulfilling and genuine life. Whether it’s with friends, family, or colleagues, being honest and open in your communications leads to more genuine connections and a more authentic existence.

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How to Have a Difficult Conversation and Follow Through Without Faltering

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If you want to overcome challenges, you should know the eleven main steps which help you learn how to have a difficult conversation… without backing out at the last minute.

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1. Choose the Right Moment

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The first step in how to have a difficult conversation is knowing the right time to do it. Don’t attempt a tough conversation if the person you need to talk to seems stressed, tired, angry about something else, not feeling well, or generally having a bad day.

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This will simply lead to a poor outcome. If that’s the case, wait until another day. You’ll probably find everything works out far better. [Read: How to resolve conflict: The 20 best ways to cut out the drama]

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2. Don’t Attempt the Conversation With Other People Around

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Difficult conversations need to be conducted in private. Don’t attempt to have the conversation if there are other people in the room, or if there is a likelihood that someone will walk in and interrupt you. As with the last point, make sure you pick your moment, and not when others are in earshot.

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3. Never Say “We Need to Talk.”

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Uttering these words means the other person is going to quickly jump on the defensive and wonder what the problem is.

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When learning how to have a difficult conversation, never set the tone in a negative way, just launch into it in a natural and easy-going way. Think back to the last time you heard “we need to talk.” You probably panicked and wondered what was going to come next! [Read: How to confront someone when you loathe uncomfortable interactions]

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4. Think About What You Want to Say Beforehand

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This doesn’t mean writing down summary points and having flash cards but know what you want to say and have the main points set in your mind. If you don’t think about it before, you’re going to forget to say something important.

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Then, you’ll end up going back over a conversation that was already difficult enough. Don’t script it out, but know how you’re going to start and what you actually want to say to them. [Read: How to stop being passive aggressive and explain yourself clearly]

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5. Don’t Expect the Conversation to Go a Certain Way

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If you go into the conversation expecting it to flow in a particular direction, you’re going to be caught off guard when it doesn’t. Have your main points in your mind and just go with the flow, seeing where the conversation takes you.

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6. Watch Your Body Language

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Your body language also speaks for you, so make sure that its agreeing with what you’re actually saying! Avoid defensive body language, such as sitting with your legs or arms crossed, fidgeting, or avoiding eye contact.

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Be relaxed, mirror their position, and make sure that you maintain eye contact. The wrong kind of body language can easily cause you to come over as confrontational. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]

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7. Be Direct, Don’t “Go Around the Houses.”

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Whatever you want to say, make sure you say it and do it in a way which isn’t going to cause confusion or add unnecessary word count to the conversation!

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There is nothing worse than listening to someone babble on, waiting for them to get to the actual point. This isn’t how to have a difficult conversation! Make the point of the conversation known at the very start. Then, outline your points from there.

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8. Choose Your Language and Tone Carefully

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Words can easily take on a different meaning when you add a specific tone to them, e.g. sarcasm. Make sure that you don’t intentionally choose sentences full of big and complicated words. You’ll make the other person feel inadequate or confused.

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Just keep it simple, but not too simple! You don’t want to be condescending either. [Read: How to be dominant and be the real alpha without trying too hard]

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9. See the Other Person’s Side

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This is a conversation, not a lecture. The person you’re talking to will have input too. Make sure that you do your best to see their side of things and understand their point of view.

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Part of learning how to have a difficult conversation is understanding that your side might not be 100% right. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get your point across, but understand that they have their point too.

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10. Listen!

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Make sure that you sit and listen to what they’re saying. Most people think they know how to listen, but in truth they don’t. It’s not just about the words the other person is saying, it’s about picking up on non-verbal cues too, such as tone of voice, body language, etc.

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Listen to everything and really understand what is being communicated to you. This is one of the main points you need to cover when learning how to have a difficult conversation. [Read: Do you understand and embody the 15 qualities of a good person?]

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11. Manage Your Emotions

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When you’re gearing up for a difficult conversation, it’s like prepping for an important presentation – you need to be in the right state of mind.

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Check in with yourself. Are you upset or anxious? It’s crucial to recognize these feelings, but don’t let them dominate the discussion. Keeping your emotions in check helps you stay focused on the topic and prevents the conversation from derailing. [Read: Emotionally stable: How to find your zone of perfect calmness]

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12. Practice Empathetic Listening

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Empathetic listening is more than just nodding along. It’s about really tuning into what the other person is saying, beyond just their words.

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When you listen with empathy, you’re trying to understand their feelings and perspective. This not only shows respect but also opens up the conversation for deeper understanding, making the whole experience more constructive.

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13. Take Breaks if Needed

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It’s totally fine to take a breather during a tough talk. If things get too heated or confusing, suggest a short break. This gives everyone a chance to cool down and gather their thoughts.

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Taking a short break can help both sides come back to the discussion with a clearer head and a better focus.

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14. Work Together to Achieve a Positive Outcome

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Difficult conversations don’t have to be confrontational or upsetting, they can be constructive and progressive, too.

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You can work together to ensure that the conversation comes to a suitable and positive point. Agree that yes, this topic is a little awkward or difficult, but it needs to be discussed. Approaching it in the right way, on both sides, will help you do this.

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Nobody likes difficult conversations. Don’t feel as though you’re failing if you simply don’t want to approach a particular subject with someone. But sometimes things just need to be said. Be brave and just go for it. [Read: How to deal with bullies – 13 grownup ways to confront mean people]

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15. Reflect and Follow Up

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After wrapping up, take a moment to think about how the conversation went. What parts were successful, and what could you improve on next time? This kind of reflection is key to growing your conversation skills.

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Plus, following up later shows that you’re committed to the resolution and value the relationship. It’s a way to make sure everything discussed is understood and moving in the right direction.

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Conversations are Two-Way Things

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By understanding the right way to approach this type of situation, you avoid losing your nerve at the last minute, and you are far less likely to offend or upset the person you need to speak to. This gives you a great opportunity to work out a situation that is causing difficulties for you both, whatever it may be.

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Remember that conversations are two-way things. Listen and take on their point of view as much as you communicate your own. You may not be right. Perhaps they have something they want to say that is far more enlightening than the point you’re trying to get across. [Read: How to be an adult: Mature ways to handle situations like a grown up]

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Learning how to have a difficult conversation is as much about preparation as it is about the actual moment. However, be prepared to go with the flow and pick the right moment for the conversation. After all, these are the conversations that really matter, as they often lead to significant breakthroughs and deeper understanding in relationships.

The post 25 Calm Must-Knows to Have a Difficult Conversation & Not Lose Your Nerve is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

", "keywords": ", Calm, Must-Knows, Have, Difficult, Conversation, Not, Lose, Your, Nerve", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "108", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.lovepanky.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Have-a-Difficult-Conversation.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "94", "post_url": "https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-life/how-to-have-a-difficult-conversation", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-15 12:39:13", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "40299", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Attracted to a Friend? Here’s Why & How to Decide When to Pursue or Back Off", "title_slug": "attracted-to-a-friend-heres-why-how-to-decide-when-to-pursue-or-back-off", "title_hash": "400dd2e66d67fa5116dd74b6ee3f545f", "summary": "It may seem like you can’t possibly do it, but you can learn how to stop being attracted to a friend. Once you do, you can start moving on with your life.\nThe post Attracted to a Friend? Here’s Why & How to Decide When to Pursue or Back Off is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.", "content": "

It may seem like you can’t possibly do it, but you can learn how to stop being attracted to a friend. Once you do, you can start moving on with your life.

$\"How$ \n\n\n\n

It is totally normal to be attracted to a friend. Whether you actually have feelings for them is a different story, but an attraction is totally normal. Learning how to stop being attracted to a friend will help you stay sane.

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Attraction can be based on looks, personality, and more. But it is more of a bodily feeling than an emotional one. You can be attracted to someone and easily not act on it or have it mean anything other than attraction.

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Of course, if that attraction is causing issues in your friendship or making you feel uncomfortable you want to stop your attraction. [Read: How to lose feelings for someone and let go of the might have been]

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The Science of Liking Your Friend

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It’s a familiar scenario: you’ve been friends for ages, and suddenly, you’re seeing your buddy in a whole new light. You’re attracted to a friend – but what’s going on in the background? Why does this shift from platonic to something more happen?

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Let’s dive into the psychology behind these feelings. Proximity and familiarity play a huge role in developing attraction. It’s not just about being physically close, though that certainly helps.

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The more time you spend with someone, the more you get to know their quirks, their humor, and their habits. This familiarity breeds comfort, and often, attraction follows.

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Then there’s the power of emotional bonding. Shared experiences are like glue in friendships. They bond you together. From laughing over inside jokes to supporting each other through tough times, these experiences create a depth of connection that can sometimes tip over into romantic feelings. [Read: How to help someone up when they’re feeling down and depressed]

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Think about it – who understands you better than someone who has been through the ups and downs with you?

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But the real kicker is the transition from platonic to romantic feelings. This isn’t just a switch that flips without reason. Psychological theories suggest that as we grow and change, our perceptions of people can evolve.

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Maybe your friend has always been kind, but now you’re seeing that kindness as something more attractive and desirable. Or perhaps as you both mature, the qualities that make for a good friend are starting to look a lot like the qualities you want in a romantic partner.

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Reasons You Could Be Attracted to a Friend

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What could be the reasons you find yourself unexpectedly attracted to a friend? It’s not just about catching feelings, there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface.

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1. Physical Attraction and Admiration

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Sometimes, it’s as simple as seeing your friend in a new light. Maybe they’ve always been good-looking, but suddenly you’re noticing it more.

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Physical attraction can sneak up on you, especially when combined with a deep admiration for who they are as a person. It’s like one day, you see them laughing, and it hits you – they’re not just a friend, they’re someone you’re physically drawn to. [Read: Signs of strong physical attraction that reveal a mad attraction]

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2. Emotional Support and Understanding

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Emotional bonds can be a powerful catalyst for romantic feelings. When a friend consistently offers you support and understanding, it’s natural to develop a deeper affection for them.

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They’re your shoulder to cry on, your cheerleader, and suddenly, you realize that their emotional support is something you’ve started to rely on, not just appreciate.

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3. Similar Interests and Values

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Sharing hobbies, passions, or values can be a strong foundation for attraction. When you’re attracted to a friend, it’s often because you both get excited about the same things, whether it’s movies, hiking, or a shared sense of humor.

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This common ground can make your friend seem like an ideal partner because you already know you’re great at enjoying life together. [Read: BIG secrets to make lifelong friends & create a bond that lasts a lifetime]

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4. The Influence of Loneliness or Recent Romantic Disappointments

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Sometimes, the feelings you develop for a friend are influenced by your emotional state. If you’re feeling lonely or if you’ve recently experienced a romantic disappointment, you might be more susceptible to finding comfort and potential romantic interest in a friend.

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They’re safe, familiar, and understanding, making them an appealing option when your heart is looking for solace.

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5. Growing Together Over Time

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Long friendships can evolve into romantic interests simply because you’ve both changed and grown together. As life throws its challenges at you, and you both navigate them side by side, it’s not uncommon to see your friend in a new light.

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This growth can spark a realization that the person who has been by your side through it all might just be the perfect romantic partner.

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Why Do You Want to Stop Being Attracted to a Friend?

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It is totally healthy to be attracted to a friend. But if it impedes your friendship or makes things uncomfortable, it makes sense to want to stop those feelings in their tracks.

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But, why? Does this friend have a partner? Will it never work out between you? Have they made it clear they aren’t attracted to you? Are you afraid of ruining a good friendship? [Read: 42 signs you’re falling in love with your best friend & what you MUST do next]

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Thinking about why you searched for this feature in the first place is a good place to start. Knowing why you want to shut these feelings of attraction down will help you get kickstarted by ridding yourself of those emotions.

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The rational reason you have for wanting to stop being attracted to a friend will help you remind yourself to let go of that attraction. Whether they are taken or you’ve dated in the past without success, those reasons should sit in your mind to assure you that this cannot go beyond attraction.

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But, consider the other side of this, are you sure you don’t want to be attracted to this friend? Are you more than attracted to them? Do you want to know if they are attracted to you?

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Working out what causes the attraction and why you want these feelings to go away will guide you in the right direction. No matter which way that is. [Read: How to lose feelings for someone & let go of the might have beens]

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When Should You Push Through With Your Feelings?

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Okay, so you’ve caught feelings for your homeboy or homegirl. It doesn’t automatically spell disaster for your friendship. In fact, sometimes, it’s the start of something amazing. But how do you know when it’s the right time to pursue these romantic feelings?

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1. Look For Reciprocal Feelings

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The green light in this scenario is sensing that your friend might be on the same page. It’s all about those little signs – longer eye contact, more flirtatious banter, or them seeking you out more often.

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If you’re getting vibes that your attraction might be a two-way street, it could be a sign to explore these feelings further. Remember, mutual interest is key. You don’t want to make a move unless you’re pretty sure they’re also feeling the spark.

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2. Positive Changes in the Dynamic of Friendship

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Have you noticed that hanging out feels different lately? Maybe there’s more excitement to see each other or conversations have become more intimate and meaningful. [Read: 84 intellectual, deep conversation starters & topics to bond with anyone]

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When the dynamic of your friendship starts to shift in a positive, more romantically charged direction, it could be the universe’s way of telling you that there’s potential for more.

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3. Both Parties are Emotionally Available and Ready

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Timing is everything. If both of you are single, emotionally available, and not on the rebound, it might be the perfect time to consider turning your friendship into something more.

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It’s like finding two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly – only if both are ready to be part of the same picture.

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4. Shared Life Goals and Aspirations

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If you find that your long-term goals and dreams align well with each other, it’s a strong indicator that pursuing a romantic relationship could be fruitful.

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When you’re both on the same page about major life decisions – like career paths, values, or views on family – it makes the idea of a romantic partnership more viable and exciting. [Read: Relationship compatibility: What it is, 40 signs you have it & ways to improve it]

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5. Resilience of the Friendship

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Consider the strength and resilience of your friendship. If you’ve been through tough times together and come out stronger, it’s a good sign that your relationship can handle the transition.

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A strong, resilient friendship provides a solid foundation for a romantic relationship, offering a sense of security that you can withstand the challenges that might come with changing the nature of your bond.

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When to Back Off

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When should you just let it go and hit the brakes on those feelings you have for your friend? It’s tricky, but sometimes backing off is the best move, both for your heart and your friendship. Here’s how to spot the “nope signals” when you’re attracted to a friend:

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1. Lack of Reciprocal Feelings

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If it’s clear that your friend isn’t feeling the same way, it’s time to step back. Maybe they’ve directly told you they don’t share your feelings, or perhaps they’re just not giving off those ‘more-than-friends’ vibes.

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It’s crucial to respect their feelings. Holding on to hope in a one-sided attraction is like trying to catch fish in a swimming pool – not the best use of your time. [Read: 30 signs of a one-sided relationship & how to fix it before it ends]

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2. The Risk of Damaging the Friendship

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Sometimes the risk outweighs the reward. If pursuing your feelings could cause unnecessary drama or pain, especially in a tight-knit friend group, it might be wise to hold back.

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Think about it – is it worth risking a solid friendship for a potential romance that’s not a sure thing?

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3. Respect for Boundaries

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If your friend has set clear boundaries, like mentioning they’re not interested in dating friends, it’s important to respect that.

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Ignoring their boundaries in hopes they’ll change their mind isn’t just futile, it’s also disrespectful. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

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4. Prioritizing the Longevity and Health of the Friendship

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Consider what’s more important – a stable, long-term friendship or a gamble on romance. If you value the friendship and don’t want to risk losing it, then backing off is the smart move.

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You are aware of the potential consequences if you confessed your feelings and they weren’t reciprocated; the friendship could become awkward or strained.

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In this situation, it might be wise to carefully weigh your options and consider the possible outcomes. Sometimes, preserving what you already have is more beneficial than pursuing an uncertain possibility.

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5. Your Friend Is in a Relationship

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This one’s a no-brainer but needs to be said. If your friend is already in a committed relationship, it’s a clear sign to back off.

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Pursuing your feelings in this situation is likely to lead to complications and hurt feelings all around. It’s also unfair to everyone involved. [Read: Foolproof secrets & ways to break up a couple who shouldn’t be together!]

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How Do You Stop Being Attracted to a Friend

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Stopping a biological feeling in its tracks can be difficult. Attraction isn’t like other things, so stopping that can take a lot of internalizing and a bit of compromise with yourself.

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You must rationalize your attraction, understand it, and argue it if you’re wondering how to stop being attracted to a friend and maintain the friendship.

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1. Why Are You Attracted to a Friend?

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There are different types of attraction. You can be sexually attracted to your friend or maybe you’re behaviorally attracted to them or intellectually attracted to them.

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Pinpointing what it is that you’re attracted to can help you analyze it so that it all makes sense and isn’t so mysterious which makes it hard to handle. Even without learning how to stop being attracted to a friend, defining why you are can make it easier to deal with. [Read: How to flirt with a friend: Ways to tease without being weird]

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2. Redirect Your Attraction

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Every time you have a sexual feeling about your friend, redirect that emotion to reality.

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You are not romantically with this person. They are your friend. You enjoy your time together, and you rely on each other. Take that physical or romantic attraction and apply it to your platonic friendship.

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3. Consider the Negatives of Acting on Your Attraction

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This tip, although useful, is not a favorite. You should never have to guilt yourself for natural feelings of attraction, but reminding yourself of why you aren’t acting on those feelings can help you keep a clear mind.

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4. Think About the Qualities About Them You Aren’t Attracted To

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Sure, they are your friend and you like them. There are always things that will irk you.

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Do they chew with their mouth open or text and drive? Maybe they look good in a swimsuit, but are they unreliable as a prospective partner? [Read: 21 BIG secrets to get over a crush on someone and feel desirable again!]

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5. What Makes Them a Good Friend?

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Focus on your stronger feelings. Attraction is not permanent. It is often brief and fleeting. So, focus on your friendship.

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Think about the rough times they’ve been through with you or your mutual love for a fandom or that inside joke. Focus on the feelings you want to keep and put less attention on the ones you want to get rid of.

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6. Organize Your Feelings on Paper

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Write it all out. Our feelings, even ones as basic as attraction can easily get jumbled inside our heads. If you want to stop being attracted to a friend, write down your feelings. Describe when you were first attracted to them, why, and how they make you feel.

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This doesn’t have to be concise or perfect. You only write it out for yourself, then crumble it up and toss it out later. Putting your feelings on paper where you can see them and then getting rid of it may seem silly but is very symbolic.

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7. Why is it So Frustrating?

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Why are you suffering? Are you masochistic? Do you like the feeling of knowing you’re attracted to someone that is out of reach? Are you hoping they will tell you they find you attractive as well?

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Consider why it is so hard for you to stop your attraction or why being attracted to them is such a problem. This may take more than some thinking. You may want to talk to someone you trust or even a therapist to figure out what makes this so hard for you. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

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8. Take Some Space

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Spending a lot of time with a friend you are attracted to will make your attraction grow. Tensions run high, and you feel things due to proximity.

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Spend some time apart. Don’t stop being friends. If you want to know how to stop being attracted to a friend, just pick up a project that will keep you busy for a while so you can clear your mind before hanging out together again. And then hang out in groups so your attention isn’t so focused on them. [Read: How to handle sexual tension between friends like a platonic pro]

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9. Date Around

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Of course, you can be attracted to someone while dating someone else. But if you are lonely and haven’t dated in a while, the closest romantic option may be a good-looking friend.

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Turn that attraction onto someone more suitable and get out there. Go meet new people or try a dating app. Sometimes your body and mind can play tricks on you when you’re romantically lonely. [Read: How to get your best friend to fall for you without asking them out first]

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10. Tell Them

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Yes, this is risky advice. But tell your friend you’re attracted to them. Sometimes saying it will actually help those feelings go away.

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Just by letting it be heard, you may already feel a lot better.

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Being attracted to someone isn’t something to be ashamed of. Likely, your friend will be flattered. [Read: In love with your best friend? Why you need to back away right now]

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11. Feel the Attraction and Let it Go

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Instead of fighting those feelings of attraction, just feel them. Just because you are attracted to someone doesn’t mean that you have plans to let it go just because you can’t act on it.

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You can be attracted to someone and not let it overwhelm you or cause problems. Just let it be.

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How to Deal With Rejection From a Friend

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Since you want to know how to stop being attracted to your friend, there must be a very good reason. And one of those reasons is that you either fear being rejected – or you already have been rejected and you want to get over it.

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That’s never easy to deal with, so here are some tips to help you deal with rejection.

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1. Grieve

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Being rejected never feels good. It conjures up all sorts of feelings of sadness and low self-worth. But that’s okay.

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You are mourning a loss – a loss of the hope that your friend would also be sexually attracted to you. So, allow yourself to grieve the loss of that fantasy. Just don’t wallow in it too long. [Read: Losing a friend – 30 ways to face the pain of best friends drifting apart]

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2. Stop Trying to Force it

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If your friend that you’re attracted to has told you that they’re not interested in you in a romantic way, then as we just said, let it go. The worst thing you can do is to build up false hope in your mind that somehow, someday, the friend might change their mind.

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Just accept that you are just meant to be friends with them. Acknowledge that you deserve someone who actually likes you the way you like them. So, never try to convince them to feel otherwise.

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3. Have Empathy For Them

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Okay, this sounds like the last thing you want to do. But think about it. It might be difficult to put yourself in their shoes, but if you want to know how to stop being attracted to your friend, try it.

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It can’t be easy for them to reject a good friend like you. They probably feel really bad about it. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

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You have probably also thought that other people were awesome, but you didn’t have any romantic feelings for them. If that’s how your friend feels, then you can’t blame them. It happens all the time to people.

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4. Don’t Distance Yourself Too Much

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Just because your friend doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, that doesn’t mean that you have to break off the friendship. You might feel like you want to if you’re embarrassed, but that’s not something that is necessarily healthy.

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If you’re good friends, then there’s no reason why you can’t try to maintain your friendship. But this person means a lot to you, and vice versa, so you should do your best to remain friendly with them as much as you can.

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It takes a mature person to do this, so step up to the plate. [Read: How to deal with rejection from friends and pick yourself back up]

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5. Focus on Other Relationships Too

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When we’re rejected and feel sad, it’s easy to ignore the other people in our lives. But, don’t ignore your other friends.

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If you want to know how to stop being attracted to this friend, either because they rejected you, or you know for certain that they will reject you *because of circumstances*, you need to try to keep everything else in your life moving ahead.

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Spend time with your friends and your family. They will remind you of how great of a person you are. When you surround yourself with people who love you, it’s more difficult to feel rejected by that friend you were sexually attracted to.

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6. Focus on Your Good Qualities

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Let’s face it – your friend does like you, otherwise they wouldn’t be your friend. So, focus on all the things that are awesome about yourself. Have the attitude that “it’s their loss – not yours.” You probably have a lot of great things going on in your life, so don’t let this rejection overwhelm you.

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Pamper yourself. Do things you enjoy doing. Go get a massage or hang out with friends. Read a good book. Pick up a new hobby. Do anything you can to make yourself happy and distract yourself. [Read: 34 life-changing steps to fall in love with yourself all over again]

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7. Move On

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Eventually, you will have to accept the rejection and move on with your life. Just because this friend didn’t have romantic feelings for you doesn’t mean that the right person won’t. So, get back out there and meet new people.

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Go on as many dates as you can. Set up the dating apps on your phone, and find someone better for you.

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Just because it didn’t work out with your friend doesn’t mean that the right person isn’t out there waiting for you. [Read: How to be friends with someone you like without losing your mind]

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These Feelings Can Sweep You Up in a Whirlwind of Emotion

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Getting attracted to a friend is not something one plans for. It’s a spontaneous, often surprising twist in the complex story of human relationships. These feelings can sweep you up in a whirlwind of emotion, blurring the lines between platonic love and romantic desire.

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It’s a natural, human experience, and while it can be confusing, it’s also a testament to the depth and versatility of our capacity to form connections. [Read: 25 ways to emotionally connect with someone & instantly feel closer]

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Sometimes, you can find yourself getting attracted to a friend, and that’s something you can’t help or stop yourself from. But learning how to stop having feelings for them doesn’t have to be complicated, that is, unless you let it.

The post Attracted to a Friend? Here’s Why & How to Decide When to Pursue or Back Off is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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You’re daydreaming and drooling over him, but don’t you want to know if he’s feeling the same? It’s time you knew the signs a man wants to be with you.

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So you’re head over heels for him, ready to risk it all. Every moment you spend daydreaming about him intensifies the question lingering in your mind: Is he feeling the same way about you? Understanding the signs a man wants to be with you is essential in the complex world of dating and relationships.

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These signals, often subtle, are key indicators of his intentions and feelings. It’s about reading the small details in his actions and words, which can sometimes speak louder than grand gestures.

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As you find yourself deep in thoughts about him, knowing these signs can turn your worries into excitement—or possibly disappointment, depending on what you discover. It turns the guesswork of “does he or doesn’t he?” into a more confident understanding of where you both stand. [Read: Are we in a relationship? How to know for sure if you’re a couple]

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The Psychology Behind Relationship Signals

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Before diving into the specific signs a man wants to be with you, let’s first unpack the psychological backdrop of relationship signals.

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Men, in all their simplicity, have a pretty straightforward way of showing they’re into someone. When a guy likes you, it’s like he can’t help but let it show.

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Imagine this: one day, out of the blue, there’s a knock on your door and there he is, standing with a bouquet of flowers so big, you can barely see his grin behind it. Or those moments when he surprises you with a date that’s straight out of your favorite rom-com, complete with candlelit dinners under the stars or a surprise picnic in the park.

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These gestures are like their own special language of love. It’s as if he’s wearing a neon sign that says, “Yep, I’m totally into you!” And it’s not just about the big, show-stopping moments.

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Sometimes, it’s the little things – the way he remembers your coffee order, or sends you a good morning text just to start your day off with a smile. [Read: 67 sweet yet small romantic gestures that show love in the biggest way]

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Other times, guys themselves aren’t fully clued into how they’re expressing their feelings. It’s the subconscious at play – those little, almost invisible signs like the way he might lean in closer as you speak, or how his eyes just light up a tad more when you walk into the room.

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But hold on, because the plot thickens! Let’s not forget how culture and personal style can flip the script. What’s considered romantic in one culture might just be friendly banter in another. And then there’s the personality factor – a shy guy might show his interest in completely different ways from Mr. Life of the Party. This is where understanding the signs a man wants to be with you gets as intricate and colorful as a kaleidoscope.

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How to Tell the Signs a Man Wants to Be With You

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There were guys who liked us, but they were shy or felt we were too intimidating to approach. So, they hung by the sidelines and never really made a move, which is crazy! If we had known how they felt, we would have taken the first step. [Read: Do guys like it when girls make the first move? Truths & steps]

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But that’s the thing! We didn’t know the signs. Sure, we could see the obvious ones, but if they were more subtle, they flew right over our heads. We don’t want that to happen to you.

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Be able to spot these signs right away so that you can decide whether or not you want to act on them.

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Of course, you want to know the signs a man wants to be with you.

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1. He Invests Time Into You

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Listen, no one spends any time with someone they don’t like if it’s not forced. If a guy invests his time on you because he wants to, well, he likes you. It’s really as simple as that. [Read: 30 peculiar signs to look for when a guy likes you]

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2. He Calls/Texts You Regularly

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Of course, you have male friends that will call or text you regularly but usually not on a daily basis. If he’s taking time out of his day to call or text you, it’s a sign of interest in you. If not, they wouldn’t waste their time talking to you.

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3. You Feel Like You’re Number One

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If a man wants to be with you, he’ll make you a priority. He wants you to be in his life, so he treats you like you’re number one. And to him, you are number one.

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This doesn’t mean he’s going to ditch everything for you, but he’ll show you he cares. [Read: How to tell if there’s serious chemistry between two people]

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4. He Asks You Out

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Well, if he gets the courage to ask you out on a date, then it’s a clear sign he’s into you. This is one of the most obvious signs a man wants to be with you, and you shouldn’t take it lightly.

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It’s not easy to ask someone out. Many men fear rejection. But this guy took the next step.

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5. He Spends Time With You

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Sure, he may be busy with school and work, but in his spare time, he’s with you. He loves spending time with you, and that’s a great sign he wants to be with you.

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Could you be with someone you couldn’t stand to hang out with? Exactly.

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6. Your Opinion Matters

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When he talks about things going on in his life, he doesn’t just tell them to you. He’s talking about them because he wants your opinion.

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He wants to know what you think because he respects and values your opinion. He wouldn’t do this if he didn’t want to be with you. [Read: Science-backed clues to know if a guy really likes you for sure]

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7. He Opens Up

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Men aren’t quick to open up about their feelings. They usually take their time to get to know someone before they become vulnerable. He tells you his past and opens up emotionally.

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This isn’t something men do with every girl. Only with the ones they want to be with.

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8. You’ve Met His Friends and Family

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No man introduces a girl to his family unless he’s serious about her. If he allows you into his inner circle, this means he’s serious about you.

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He’s letting his friends and family see his potential partner and is waiting for the thumbs up from his family. [Read: Does he love you? Actions that reveal his true feelings]

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9. He’s Interested in Your Life

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I’ve met many men that liked me but were never interested in what I do or my hobbies. That isn’t a man who wants to really be with you.

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If a man wants to be with you, he takes interest in the things you do and will support your hobbies and passions.

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10. He’s There When You Need Him

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When you’re in a tough spot and need a helping hand, he’s right there. He doesn’t leave you alone, letting you figure it out on yourself. No way, that’s not a man who wants to be with you.

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Instead, he’s helping you figure out the next step. [Read: The signs your guy friend is falling for you even if he is hiding it]

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11. He Talks About the Future

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Though he may not be making a move, he’s certainly dropping hints about the future. Maybe he’ll mention going on a vacation together in the summer or thinking about moving out of his parent’s house.

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And though they may not seem important, these conversations show he sees you in his life.

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12. He Listens

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I know this may not seem like a big deal, but it is. Many people hear you, but they’re not listening.

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When you talk to him, he really listens to you. He’s not staring at his phone or saying “yeah” until you stop talking. He’s actively listening to you because he cares.

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13. He Texts You Back Quickly

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If someone doesn’t like you, they don’t rush to text you back. But when you text him, he’s quick to reply.

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Why? Because he likes you! If he takes hours and hours to reply, then take it as a hint. He’s not into being with you. [Read: Signs he likes you more than as a friend and wants to ask you out]

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14. The Sex gets Better and Better

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If you’re having sex with him, you probably noticed it becoming more intense and intimate. And that’s because you are more emotionally connected. Sex is one thing, but when you have sex, there’s more to it.

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15. He Loves Touching You

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Of course, if you want him to touch you. And this isn’t just in a sexual way. He just loves touching you. Be it putting his hand on your back or touching your arm when he makes a joke, he can’t get enough of it. [Read: Does he like me? How to decode his body language for the answer]

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16. He Includes You in His Hobbies and Interests

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When a man wants you to be a significant part of his life, he’ll start to include you in his hobbies and interests.

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Whether it’s inviting you to a game, a concert, or just to try out a new hobby, this inclusion is a way of bringing you into his world, a clear sign he sees you as a potential partner in all aspects of his life. [Read: How to tease a guy and make him realize how much he likes you]

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17. He Respects Your Boundaries

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A man who wants to be with you understands the importance of your personal space and boundaries. He doesn’t just acknowledge them; he respects them.

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This could mean he’s attentive to your comfort levels, never pushing for something you’re not ready for, or simply understanding when you need time alone. It’s a sign of deep respect and a clear indicator that he values your feelings and autonomy.

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18. He Remembers the Small Details

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When a man is truly interested in being with you, he tends to remember even the tiny details you may have mentioned in passing. Maybe he recalls your favorite flavor of ice cream, or he brings up that obscure band you mentioned liking once.

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The attentiveness shows he’s genuinely listening and deeply engaged in what you share, proving you’re not just another person in his life.

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19. He Makes Compromises

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A key sign a man wants to be with you is his willingness to compromise. Relationships are about give and take, and if he’s often finding a middle ground that works for both of you, it’s a strong indicator he’s invested in the relationship’s success.

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Whether it’s choosing a movie you both can enjoy or making plans that fit both your schedules, his readiness to find a balance shows he’s committed to making things work. [Read: Power struggles in a relationship: Signs & ways to overcome it]

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20. He’s Willing to Travel the Distance

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Since we’re talking about the signs a man wants to be with you, what speaks louder than someone willing to travel miles to see you? It’s a grand gesture that says, “You’re worth every mile.”

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Whether he’s hopping on a plane for a long-distance visit or driving hours just to spend an afternoon with you, this effort shows a level of commitment and interest that goes beyond the ordinary.

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It’s not just about the physical distance but also the willingness to put in the time and effort to be with you, to bridge any gap that separates you. [Read: Long distance relationship: 46 LDR tips to make it work & not screw up]

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21. He Includes You in His Schedules

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Here’s another one when considering the signs a man wants to be with you, a telling one is how he includes you in his busy schedule. Even if his planner is bursting at the seams with commitments and responsibilities, he finds ways to slot you in.

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Whether it’s a phone call during his lunch break or rearranging his weekend plans to spend time with you, this inclusion speaks volumes.

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22. You Feel It

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Last but definitely not the least, there’s that unmistakable, can’t-miss-it feeling that he truly wants to be with you. It’s like a sparkly vibe in the air when you’re together, a sense that he’s there because he genuinely wants to be, not because he feels like a contestant trapped in a dating game show.

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You know that feeling when everything just clicks and you’re both enjoying each other’s company without any sense of obligation?

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It’s as if your heart has its own radar, beeping with happiness and assurance. If you’re getting those warm, fuzzy signals telling you he’s into you, trust them! [Read: Am I in love? 47 fuzzy signs of being in love that’s beyond lust & crushes]

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So You See These Signs, What’s Next?

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So you’ve ticked off the boxes and it seems clear he’s into you too, based on the signs a man wants to be with you. Now what, girl?

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It’s time to map out the next steps and see where this exciting journey can take you. Here’s a friendly guide to navigating this new chapter in your love story:

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1. Have the Talk

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It’s time for ‘The Talk’ – and no, not the birds and the bees one. We’re talking about the big, bold, ‘Define The Relationship’ *DTR* chat.

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This is where you move away from the guessing games and get down to the real deal. It’s about being honest and open, discussing what you both feel and expect from this relationship. [Read: Define the relationship: 30 signs it’s time to DTR & how to talk about it]

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You’re both going to lay your feelings out there, talk about what you’re hoping for, and really understand where you stand. It’s crucial for ensuring that you’re both on the same page.

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So, take a moment, gather your thoughts, and dive into this conversation with honesty and openness. It’s about making sure you both want the same things and seeing if your relationship has the potential to grow into something even more wonderful.

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2. Assess Your Feelings

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While it’s definitely flattering to realize that this man wants to be with you, it’s crucial to take a moment and check in with your own feelings. Are you as head-over-heels for him as he seems to be for you?

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Being honest with yourself about your emotions and intentions is not just important, it’s necessary. This is the time to really think about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Is it a deep, committed partnership you’re after, or are you in it more for the fun and excitement of a new romance? Or maybe, you’re still figuring it out and that’s okay too.

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Reflect on whether your feelings match the intensity of his, and whether what he offers aligns with what you truly want.

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3. Evaluate Your Compatibility

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So, you’ve got that initial spark, the kind that lights up your world every time you see him. But let’s talk long-term, shall we? Just because the butterflies are in overdrive, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re both headed for a fairy-tale ending. It’s like picking out a fabulous pair of shoes – they may look stunning, but are they the right fit for you? [Read: Relationship compatibility: What it is, 40 signs you have it & ways to improve it]

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Dive a little deeper and think about your values, goals, and lifestyles. Do they jive well together like the perfect dance routine, or are you stepping on each other’s toes? It’s super important to see if your dreams, beliefs, and daily habits can do a harmonious tango. Remember, loving each other’s company is great, but for a relationship to truly sparkle and last, your core values and future aspirations need to be in sync too.

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4. Meet Friends and Family

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Girl, it’s time to take a fabulous leap into his world! Meeting his friends and family is like being given an all-access VIP pass to the ‘behind-the-scenes’ of his life. When you start mingling with his inner circle, you’re not just a special guest anymore – you’re part of the show!

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When you’re hanging out with his friends and family, it’s a chance to see how well you fit into the broader picture of his life. It’s like a compatibility test but more fun and less stressful.

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Do you find common ground with his friends? Are his family interactions comfortable and welcoming to you? These moments are important. They show how you mesh with the important people in his life.

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5. Plan for the Future Together

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No, we’re not suggesting you start picking out your wedding date or debating names for your second kid just yet. But it’s definitely a good sign if you’re both starting to make plans a little further down the road.

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Think about scheduling a holiday together in a few months or snagging tickets for that cool event happening next season.

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This kind of future planning is a subtle but significant sign of commitment. It shows that he’s thinking about you in his life beyond just the next few days or weeks. [Read: Does he or doesn’t he see a future with you? 30 signs to read him]

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6. Share New Experiences

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What’s a better way to fully integrate someone into your life than by diving into new adventures together? Sharing new experiences is a fabulous way to strengthen your bond and sprinkle some extra excitement into your relationship. It’s about creating those unique, unforgettable memories that you both will cherish.

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When you try out activities that are new to both of you, it’s a sign that he’s keen on building a rich, shared life with you – a definite indicator among the signs a man wants to be with you.

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Be it taking a cooking class together, trying your hand at rock climbing, or exploring a new city, these experiences bring you closer in a very special way.

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7. Establish Boundaries

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It’s super exciting to see all the signs a man wants to be with you, but amidst all the butterflies and daydreams, don’t forget the importance of establishing boundaries. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

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Just because things are getting serious and the romance is in full swing, it doesn’t mean you should skip over this crucial step.

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Setting boundaries is like laying out your non-negotiables – those personal rules that keep the relationship healthy and respectful.

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Communicate your needs clearly – whether it’s about personal space, how you handle conflict, or anything else that matters to you.

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It’s like setting the guidelines for how you both can best support and respect each other. When he listens and respects these boundaries, it shows he’s not just into you, but he also values your comfort and happiness.

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8. Keep the Communication Flowing

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Continue to communicate openly and regularly. Good communication is key to understanding and meeting each other’s needs.

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Without this, how would you even know if you’re a great match or if you’re just treading water? Think of it like being detectives in a fun mystery – you’re both piecing together clues about each other’s likes, dislikes, hopes, and fears. It’s through these conversations that you really get to know each other on a deeper level.

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9. Enjoy the Moment

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While you’re busy figuring out all the signs a man wants to be with you, don’t forget to actually enjoy the time you spend together! It’s like being on a fabulous date and spending the whole time wondering if he’s going to ask you out again – you miss all the fun.

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Soak up every giggle, every shared coffee, every cozy movie night. Let your relationship bloom at its own sweet pace, without rushing or overthinking every step. [Read: New relationship doubts: 22 toxic & normal signs to read what you feel]

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Whether this turns into the epic love story of the century or just something short, what really counts is the joy and the fun you’re having right now.

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It’s all about living in the moment and making the most of the ‘now’. This way, no matter where things go, you’ll have a collection of happy, sparkly memories to look back on.

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When the Signs are Unclear

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Like we mentioned earlier, interpreting the signs a man wants to be with you can either lead to excitement or, in some cases, disappointment.

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If you’re finding yourself in this “disappointed” part, navigating the murky waters of mixed signals or inconsistent behavior, don’t fret. Here’s a friendly guide on what to do when you’re unsure about how he feels or suspect he might not be as into you as you thought:

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1. Reflect on His Actions

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Start by taking a closer look at his behavior. Is he showing the signs a man wants to be with you, or are his actions inconsistent?

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Sometimes, actions speak louder than words, and a lack of consistent, positive behavior can be a telling sign that he may not be as invested as you are.

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2. Initiate an Open Conversation

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Communication is key, still. Approach him and express your feelings about the unclear signs you’re perceiving. [Read: The talking stage: What it is, how long it lasts and signs & ways to get past it]

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Be honest but non-confrontational. How he responds to this discussion can give you significant insight into his feelings and intentions.

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3. Evaluate His Response

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After you’ve talked, think about his reaction. Did he seem understanding and willing to work on giving clearer signs, or was he dismissive? His response to your concerns is crucial in understanding where you stand in his life.

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4. Look for Consistency

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In relationships, consistency is a significant sign a man wants to be with you. If you find that his interest seems to fluctuate, it could be a red flag.

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Consistent effort in communication, planning dates, and showing care are what you should look for.

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5. Seek Advice from Trusted Friends

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Friends can often provide valuable perspective. Discuss your situation with close friends who understand your relationship dynamics.

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They can help you analyze the signs and decide if his actions suggest he wants to be with you.

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6. Trust Your Gut

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Sometimes, your intuition is your best guide. If you constantly feel uncertain or anxious about his feelings, it’s important to listen to that instinct. Your gut feeling can often indicate whether the signs point to a healthy relationship or not. [Read: Gut instinct: What it is, how it works & 30 tips to follow & listen to your gut]

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7. Give It Time

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Patience can sometimes clarify unclear signs. If you’ve just started dating, it might be too early to tell his true intentions. Give it some time and observe if the signs start aligning with a man who truly wants to be with you.

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8. Don’t Ignore Red Flags

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Be vigilant about red flags. If you often find yourself feeling confused, undervalued, or disrespected by his behavior, then it’s a hard pass. These feelings are big, flashing warning signs that shouldn’t be ignored.

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Remember, girlies: if he wanted to, he would. It’s as simple as that. Your feelings of security and value in a relationship aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re absolute essentials. Don’t brush these concerns under the rug.

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If you’re constantly questioning your importance to him, it might be time to reassess the relationship. You deserve someone who not only wants to be with you but also makes you feel like an indispensable part of their world. [Read: 45 big relationship red flags most couples completely ignore early in love]

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9. Consider Your Own Needs

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It’s not just about deciphering the signs a man wants to be with you; it’s also about understanding what you need and deserve in a relationship.

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Reflect on whether your needs for communication, affection, and respect are being met. If you’re consistently feeling unfulfilled or unhappy, it may be a sign that this isn’t the right relationship for you. Prioritizing your emotional well-being is key in deciding your next steps.

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10. Be Prepared to Move On

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If after all your efforts, things still aren’t clear, or the signs point to him not being as invested as you are, it might be time to consider moving on. It’s never an easy decision, but recognizing your worth and knowing when to step away is crucial for your long-term happiness.

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Moving on can be a step toward finding someone whose signs of wanting to be with you are clear and consistent. Thank you, next! [Read: 42 rules to forget someone you love & cared for as fast as possible]

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So, Does He Want to Be With You?

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Use these signs as your guide and save the flowers from your “he loves me, he loves me not” routine. Now that you’re equipped with the knowledge of the signs a man wants to be with you, you have a clearer picture of what’s really going on in your relationship. [Read: How to read the signs your guy means it when he says “I love you”]

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Now that you know the signs a man wants to be with you, you know what’s going on. Does he want to be with you? If so, it’s time you made a move! It could be nerve-wracking and scary, but in the end, the only things we regret are the chances we didn’t take.

The post 22 Adorable Signs a Man Wants to Be With You & What To Do About It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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How can you tell if someone has Machiavellianism traits? If you think someone you know fits this personality type, here’s what you need to know.

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In a realm of strategic masterminds and cunning characters, there’s one who stands out – someone with Machiavellian traits. This is a figure so adept at navigating the social labyrinth with a blend of charm, guile, and tactical acumen that they could give a masterclass in the art of influence.

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Machiavellianism is a fascinating psychological concept that delves into traits like strategic manipulation, emotional detachment, and a relentless pursuit of personal gain.

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It’s like watching a chess game where every move is calculated, not just to win, but to dominate.

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In this article, we’re going to explore these Machiavellian traits, not through dry facts and figures, but by painting a picture as vivid and compelling as the characters that embody them.

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So, let’s embark on this journey to uncover the psychological underpinnings of Machiavellianism, where each trait reveals a new layer of human complexity. [Read: Narcissistic supply – 34 secrets to control a narcissist and cut their power ASAP!]

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What Really Is Machiavellianism?

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Have you ever met someone who could give the best chess grandmasters a run for their money, not on the chessboard, but in the game of life? Enter the realm of Machiavellianism, where strategy isn’t just a board game tactic, but a way of life.

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This term takes its cue from Niccolò Machiavelli, a Renaissance-era philosopher known for his treatise “The Prince.”

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Here’s the catch though: Machiavelli didn’t write a self-help book on being the good guy. Instead, he was all about the ends justifying the means, even if those means were a tad…let’s say, morally ambiguous. [Read: Am I married to a narcissist? 26 signs, effects, and narc-spouse must-knows!]

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In the psychological sense, Machiavellianism isn’t about wearing Renaissance attire and plotting to take over kingdoms.

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It’s about a specific set of personality traits that include manipulation, a focus on self-interest, and a lack of ethical scruples – you know, the kind of person who plays mind games better than they play any actual games.

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If Machiavellianism was part of a club, it would be the infamous Dark Triad, alongside its buddies, narcissism and psychopathy. [Read: Dark Triad personality – what it is and 25 signs and ways to deal with them]

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This trio is like the ‘bad boys’ of personality traits, not exactly the ones you’d want to bring home to meet the parents.

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While narcissists are busy admiring their reflection and psychopaths are, well, being psychopaths, Machiavellians are the ones quietly pulling the strings, thinking three moves ahead in social situations.

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Imagine a friend who’s great at planning surprise parties. Now imagine if they used those planning skills to manipulate everyone. Not so fun, right? [Read: Dating a jerk – 37 signs, the psychology, and the best way to deal with the assholes]

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Machiavellians might be brilliant strategists, but they’re playing a different game – one where they’re always looking out for number one, and where everyone else is a pawn or a player to be outmaneuvered.

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So, while they might be fascinating characters to read about or watch in movies, in real life, they’re more likely to win an award for ‘Most Likely to Plot World Domination’ than ‘Bestie of the Year.’

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What Causes Someone to be a Machiavellian

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Ever wondered if some people are just born ready to strategize and manipulate like a Machiavellian chess master? [Read: Psychopath – how to recognize them, types and 39 signs and ways to cope]

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Or is it something that develops over time? Let’s unpack the science behind what fuels these Machiavellian traits.

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1. Genetic Influences

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It’s not all about the upbringing; genes play a role too. Research suggests there could be genetic factors that predispose individuals to Machiavellian tendencies.

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Think of it like inheriting your mom’s eye color, but instead, you get a knack for manipulation and strategy. [Read: Psychological manipulation – how it works, 37 tactics, signs, and ways to deal]

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However, it’s not a straightforward path from genes to Machiavellian behavior; environmental factors often activate or amplify these traits.

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2. Early Childhood Experiences

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Childhood shapes us, and it’s no different for Machiavellians. Studies indicate that inconsistent parenting, trauma, or neglect can lead to the development of Machiavellian traits.

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When kids learn early that they can’t rely on others, they might start relying more on manipulation to get what they need. It’s a survival tactic – not the nicest one, but effective in its own way. [Read: 47 Hurtful signs and effects of being the daughter of a narcissistic mother]

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3. Social and Environmental Factors

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Our environment continually molds us. If someone grows up in a setting where deceit and manipulation are common, they may adopt these behaviors as normal.

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It’s like learning the language of manipulation to survive and thrive in a cutthroat environment. Over time, these traits can become deeply ingrained in their personality.

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4. Adaptation to Competition

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Sometimes, being Machiavellian is a response to highly competitive environments, whether in school, work, or social circles. [Read: Controlling people – 32 common traits, signs, and ways to deal with them]

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When the world feels like a never-ending competition, developing Machiavellian traits can seem like a smart way to stay ahead. It’s a bit like learning to play dirty to win a race where the rules are constantly changing.

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5. Desire for Power and Control

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Some people have a strong desire for power and control, and Machiavellianism can be a means to that end.

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These individuals find that manipulating others and situations efficiently helps them climb the ladder of success, be it in their professional or personal lives. [Read: Controlling vs. caring – a thin line controlling people love to cross]

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It’s like realizing that being the puppet master can often get you further than being the puppet.

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How to Spot a Machiavellian?

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Wondering how to spot a Machiavellian in your daily life? Look out for these key traits, often hidden in plain sight, and see how they mirror some scenarios or characters you might be familiar with.

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1. Deception and Manipulation

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At the heart of Machiavellianism is the art of deception. [Read: Dupers delight – how to read the signs and avoid getting manipulated]

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Machiavellians are adept at lying, twisting facts, and manipulating people to get what they want. Think of the classic workplace scenario where someone takes credit for your ideas.

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Or, for a pop culture spin, imagine a character like Littlefinger from “Game of Thrones,” who manipulates his way through the political landscape.

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2. Emotional Detachment

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Machiavellians often seem cool and unemotional. They’re like the person at a group project meeting who remains eerily calm, even when everyone else is freaking out. [Read: 29 Signs someone is detached and doesn’t care about you or your feelings]

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This detachment allows them to make decisions without getting clouded by emotions – a trait that’s advantageous in high-stakes environments but can be off-putting in personal relationships.

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3. Focus on Self-Interest and Personal Gain

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If there’s one thing Machiavellians are great at, it’s looking out for number one. They prioritize their own interests and benefits above all else.

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Imagine someone who networks relentlessly, not to make friends, but to climb the social or corporate ladder. It’s like watching a reality TV contestant who’s there “not to make friends” but to win at all costs. [Read: Selfish people – 20 way to spot and stop them from hurting you]

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4. Lack of Ethical or Moral Considerations

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Machiavellians aren’t known for playing by the rules. They often disregard ethical or moral standards if these standards stand in the way of their goals.

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This trait is like a student who cheats during an exam, not out of desperation, but as a calculated move to get ahead.

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5. Strategic Long-Term Planning

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Unlike impulsive individuals, Machiavellians are masters of long-term planning. They think several steps ahead and are always strategizing their next move. [Read: 16 Secrets to manipulate a manipulator and make them feel powerless around you]

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It’s similar to a chess player who’s always thinking five moves ahead, or a character in a thriller movie who’s always one step ahead of the protagonist.

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6. Skilled in Social Influence

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Machiavellians are often charismatic and persuasive. They know how to use their charm and rhetoric to influence and sway others to their viewpoint.

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This skill can be seen in individuals who are exceptionally good at convincing others, be it in a sales pitch or a debate, using their charisma as a tool to bend opinions in their favor. [Read: Dark empath – what it means, 45 signs and reasons we’re drawn to them]

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7. Cynical Worldview

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A defining trait of Machiavellianism is a general cynicism towards others. They often believe that others are equally manipulative and untrustworthy.

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This worldview is like a defense attorney who assumes everyone is guilty until proven innocent, always expecting ulterior motives behind people’s actions.

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8. Exploiting Relationships

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Machiavellians don’t just make friends; they cultivate relationships that they can exploit for personal gain. [Read: How narcissists end relationships and behavior you’ll see as they get bored]

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They are like networkers who collect contacts like trading cards, not for the joy of connection, but for the potential benefits these connections can offer in the future.

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9. Low Emotional Involvement in Relationships

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They often engage in relationships with little emotional investment. For a Machiavellian, relationships are strategic moves on a chessboard rather than emotional bonds. It’s similar to a corporate merger rather than a genuine friendship or partnership.

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10. Pragmatic Morality

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Machiavellians have a flexible approach to morality. They can bend their moral and ethical standards if it suits their purposes. [Read: Narcissistic abuse – what it is, types, 58 signs, and ways they hurt and break you]

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This pragmatism is like a politician who changes their stance on issues based on public opinion polls rather than personal conviction.

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11. Resistance to Social Influences

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While they are good at influencing others, Machiavellians are often resistant to being influenced themselves. They are like skeptical consumers who aren’t easily swayed by advertising or sales pitches, always looking for the angle or the catch.

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12. Opportunistic Approach to Rules

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Machiavellians view rules more as guidelines than absolute mandates. [Read: Sneaky link – what it is, 48 signs to see it, must-know rules, and how to be in it]

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They are willing to bend or break rules if it benefits them. This approach is akin to a player in a game who’s always looking for loopholes or ways to bend the rules to gain an advantage.

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13. Lack of Empathy

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A key aspect of Machiavellianism is a lack of empathy. They often struggle to understand or share the feelings of others, which aids in their manipulative endeavors.

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It’s like a high-stakes poker player who remains detached and indifferent to the emotions of their opponents. [Read: 24 Signs of people who lack empathy to know they don’t care what you think]

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14. Lack of Remorse or Guilt

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Have you ever wondered why some people seem unbothered by the consequences of their manipulative actions? This is a classic trait of Machiavellianism.

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Psychological studies suggest that this lack of remorse is linked to a reduced emotional response to negative stimuli. This trait allows Machiavellians to pursue their goals without the emotional baggage that might hinder others.

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15. Superficial Charm

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Machiavellians often exhibit a charming façade, but is this charm genuine? Research in psychology shows that this superficial charm is a calculated tactic used to win over and manipulate others. [Read: 31 Red flags in a man who’s fake-nice and will only break your heart]

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This behavior is often compared to certain sales techniques, where the goal is to persuade rather than to forge genuine connections.

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16. Focus on Control

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Why do Machiavellians crave control? Studies indicate that a high need for control is a defense mechanism against unpredictability and vulnerability.

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By controlling situations and people, Machiavellians create a sense of security and efficiency, akin to a CEO tightly managing a company to ensure success. [Read: Controlling relationship – 42 signs and ways to love without bullying]

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17. High Adaptability

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Machiavellians are known for their adaptability in various social situations. This trait is not just an anecdotal observation but is supported by psychological research.

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Studies in social psychology, such as those examining social cognition and emotional intelligence, indicate that individuals with Machiavellian tendencies are often skilled at reading social cues and adjusting their behavior to fit different scenarios.

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This adaptability is akin to a chameleon changing colors to blend into different environments. [Read: 9 Ways guys manipulate and control their girlfriends]

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It serves as a strategic advantage, allowing Machiavellians to navigate complex social landscapes and manipulate situations to their benefit.

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18. Lack of Long-Term Relationships

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The struggle Machiavellians face in maintaining long-term relationships is well-documented in psychological research.

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Studies, such as those exploring attachment styles and interpersonal relations, suggest that the Machiavellian focus on self-interest and manipulation often undermines the trust and mutual respect necessary for deep, lasting relationships.

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This tendency towards short-term interactions is comparable to a nomadic lifestyle, constantly seeking new opportunities and environments rather than nurturing and maintaining long-standing connections. [Read: 30 Infidelity signs of a cheating partner and must-knows to tell if they’re lying]

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The transient nature of these relationships is both a result of and a reinforcement for their Machiavellian traits.

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19. Enjoyment in Manipulating Others

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The enjoyment Machiavellians derive from manipulating others is a topic of interest in psychological studies, particularly those focusing on the Dark Triad traits.

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Research by psychologists such as Daniel N. Jones and Delroy L. Paulhus has indicated that individuals with Machiavellian traits often experience a sense of power and accomplishment when they successfully influence others. [Read: 10 Main types of narcissism and 18 steps to treat and help a narcissist change]

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This sense of achievement is akin to the pleasure a game player feels when outsmarting opponents. It’s not just about achieving goals but also about the thrill of exerting control and dominance in social interactions.

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Advantages of Machiavellian Traits

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While we’re not advocating that everyone should channel their inner Machiavelli, it’s interesting to note that Machiavellianism traits do have their upsides in certain contexts.

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Here’s a closer look at some of the advantages these traits can offer, especially in professional settings. [Read: 46 Secrets to deal with a narcissist, break them, and handle their petty games]

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1. Strategic Thinking

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Machiavellians are often excellent at strategic thinking. This is backed by research in organizational psychology which suggests that their ability to foresee, plan, and think several steps ahead makes them adept at navigating complex strategic landscapes.

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In roles that demand a high level of foresight and planning, such as business strategy or legal advising, this trait can be invaluable.

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Their knack for anticipating future scenarios and preparing accordingly is a boon in any field where long-term strategy and planning are key. [Read: Psychopath vs. sociopath vs. narcissist – 27 subtle ways to tell the difference]

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2. Adaptability

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The ability of Machiavellians to read a room and adapt their behavior is a significant asset, particularly in dynamic environments.

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Studies in social psychology highlight how this adaptability stems from their skill in reading social cues and adjusting their strategies to suit different social and professional situations.

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This trait makes them particularly effective in fields like marketing or public relations, where understanding and adapting to varying audience needs and expectations are crucial for success. [Read: Cut people out of your life – why it’s hard, 35 signs, and steps to unfriend them]

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3. Resilience in High-Pressure Situations

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Machiavellians’ emotional detachment, often viewed negatively, can be advantageous in high-stress professions.

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Psychological research indicates that this detachment helps them maintain a level of calm and collectedness in stressful situations, allowing them to make clear-headed decisions when others might be overwhelmed by emotions.

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This resilience is a valuable trait in fields such as emergency management, high-stakes negotiation, or any profession where maintaining composure under pressure is critical. [Read: Compulsive liar – why they lie, 22 signs and ways to spot them and walk away]

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4. Persuasive Communication

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The persuasive skills of Machiavellians are well-documented in psychological studies, particularly in the realm of interpersonal influence and persuasion tactics.

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Their ability to articulate ideas convincingly and influence others makes them effective in roles that require strong negotiation skills or the ability to sell ideas and visions.

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Whether in sales, diplomacy, or leadership positions, their persuasive communication can be a powerful tool in achieving goals and driving initiatives forward. [Read: 21 Tactics and qualities to persuade people and get inside someone’s mind]

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5. Conflict Resolution Skills

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Machiavellians can be surprisingly effective in resolving conflicts. Their ability to understand different perspectives, even if for manipulative purposes, allows them to anticipate and address the concerns of opposing parties.

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Research in conflict management and negotiation shows that their strategic thinking and unemotional approach can lead to successful conflict resolution, especially in situations where it’s necessary to detach from personal feelings to reach an objective solution.

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6. Efficient Decision-Making

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Machiavellians are often quick and efficient decision-makers. [Read: Decisions you should never let your parnter make for you]

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Their focus on end goals and willingness to take calculated risks, as highlighted in decision-making research, can be an asset in fast-paced industries where quick, decisive action is required.

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This efficiency is particularly useful in business or entrepreneurial ventures, where swift and resolute decisions can often mean the difference between success and failure.

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7. Resourcefulness

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One key advantage of Machiavellianism is resourcefulness. Machiavellians’ ability to think creatively and use whatever means are at their disposal to achieve their ends is underscored in studies on creativity and innovation. [Read: Reverse psychology – what it is, how it works, 26 signs and secrets to use it]

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This trait can be particularly beneficial in roles that require problem-solving and out-of-the-box thinking, such as in start-ups or in roles that demand innovative solutions.

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8. Ability to Handle Complexity

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Machiavellians are often adept at handling complex situations.

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Their trait of dissecting and understanding multifaceted scenarios, as found in organizational behavior research, makes them well-suited for roles that involve dealing with complex systems or intricate projects. [Read: 42 signs and ways to see manipulative behavior and stop being used by people]

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This ability is a significant asset in fields such as project management, systems analysis, or any role that requires navigating and managing complexity.

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9. Influence in Leadership

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Despite their notorious reputation, Machiavellians can be effective leaders. Their strategic foresight and ability to influence others, as discussed in leadership studies, can be valuable in guiding teams and organizations toward goals.

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In leadership roles, their ability to craft and communicate a vision, even if self-serving, can mobilize people and resources effectively. [Read: Narcissistic sociopath – how they think, 31 signs, and ways to deal with them]

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Disadvantages of Machiavellian Traits

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Machiavellianism, indeed, is a double-edged sword. While Machiavellian traits might make for a great movie villain or a shrewd businessperson in a TV show, in real life, these characteristics often lead to some not-so-great consequences.

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1. Ethical Dilemmas

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Machiavellians’ propensity to bend or even break rules can lead to serious ethical dilemmas. Research in business ethics has shown that such behavior can damage reputations and relationships in professional settings.

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Their approach to ethics, often seen as ends justifying the means, can result in actions that, while benefiting them in the short term, can have long-lasting negative impacts on their professional image and the organizations they are part of. [Read: Secrets to manipulate a manipulator and make them feel powerless around you]

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2. Compromised Integrity

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When you’re willing to say or do anything to get ahead, where do you draw the line? Studies in ethical decision-making show that Machiavellians often struggle with this question.

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Their flexible approach to truth and ethics can lead them down slippery slopes, compromising their integrity. It’s like being a chameleon a little too good at blending in – at some point, you might forget your original colors.

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3. Trust Issues

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The manipulative nature inherent in Machiavellianism traits significantly erodes trust. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship – 22 whys and ways to get over it together]

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Psychological studies in interpersonal relationships highlight that trust is foundational for stable and lasting relationships, both personal and professional.

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However, Machiavellians, known for using deception and manipulation, often find it challenging to build and maintain trust, leading to unstable and superficial relationships.

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4. Difficulty in Teamwork and Collaboration

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Teamwork makes the dream work, but for a Machiavellian, it’s often a solo dream. [Read: Selfish friends – what makes one, signs, and 36 best ways to deal with them]

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Research in organizational psychology indicates that their self-focused nature can make collaboration and effective teamwork challenging.

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They’re like solo musicians trying to play in an orchestra – sometimes, they just can’t resist going off on their own tune, making harmonious teamwork a bit of a challenge.

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5. Short-Term Gains vs. Long-Term Sustainability

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Machiavellians’ focus on immediate gain often comes at the expense of long-term planning and sustainability. [Read: Why narcissists ignore you, your texts, and do the selfish things they do]

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This tendency, as observed in organizational behavior research, can lead to strategies and decisions that provide quick wins but fail to consider the future impact, potentially jeopardizing long-term success and stability, both in personal life and within organizations.

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6. Reputation for Unreliability

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Ever heard the tale of the boy who cried wolf? Well, Machiavellians can sometimes be that boy. Due to their tendency to manipulate and deceive, they can develop a reputation for unreliability, as noted in studies on trust and credibility.

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This reputation can precede them, making others wary of taking them at their word or relying on them – not exactly the best character reference. [Read: Immature men 53 manchild signs, why he’s a pain to date, and ways to help him]

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7. Emotional Disconnection

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While emotional detachment might be beneficial in certain high-pressure situations, it often hinders the development of deep, meaningful personal relationships.

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Studies in emotional intelligence and psychology have shown that empathy and emotional connection are crucial for healthy, fulfilling relationships.

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Machiavellians, with their emotionally detached demeanor, may struggle to form genuine emotional bonds, leading to a lack of deep, supportive relationships in their lives. [Read: 34 Signs, why we feel disconnected in a relationship, and ways to reconnect]

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8. Potential for Burnout and Isolation

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Constantly strategizing, manipulating, and staying detached can be exhausting, even for the most seasoned Machiavellian.

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Psychological research on burnout suggests that this constant state of vigilance and emotional disengagement can lead to burnout and a sense of isolation.

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It’s like being the mastermind in a game of chess where you’re also somehow all the pieces – it’s a lot to handle, even for a chess prodigy. [Read: Bad friends – 45 signs you have bad friends and need to get new ones ASAP!]

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Survival Tips in the Wilds of Office Politics and Beyond

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So, you’ve spotted a Machiavellian in your midst – maybe it’s an officemate, or perhaps that ‘friend’ who’s always three steps ahead. Don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom.

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Here are some handy tips on how to deal effectively with individuals who exhibit Machiavellian traits.

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1. Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence

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Boosting your emotional intelligence is like donning a psychological armor. [Read: Misogynistic men – what it is, 48 signs and psychology of a sexist woman hater]

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Studies in social psychology emphasize that being aware of your own emotions and those of others can help you navigate the manipulative tactics of Machiavellians.

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By understanding and managing your emotions, you can avoid falling into emotional traps and respond to situations more strategically.

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2. Assertiveness is Key

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Assertiveness isn’t just about speaking up, it’s also about setting boundaries. Research in interpersonal communication shows that assertive communication can effectively counter manipulative behaviors. [Read: Confident ways to be more assertive and speak your mind loud and clear]

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By clearly stating your needs and limits, you can protect yourself from being pushed around or taken advantage of.

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3. Fact-Check and Verify

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In a world where fake news can spread faster than a wildfire, a little fact-checking goes a long way, especially with Machiavellians around.

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Psychological studies suggest that critical thinking and skepticism are essential tools in dealing with deceptive information. Always verify the facts before accepting what a Machiavellian says at face value. [Read: Is he lying? 21 signs to tell if a guy is a liar and subtle ways to read his lies]

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4. Keep Professional Interactions Transparent

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Transparency is like sunlight; it’s the best disinfectant for shady dealings. Research in organizational behavior highlights the importance of transparency in professional interactions.

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Keeping communications and agreements clear and documented can prevent misunderstandings and manipulation.

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5. Understand Their Tactics

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Knowing is half the battle. Familiarize yourself with common Machiavellian tactics, as suggested by psychological research on manipulation and persuasion. [Read: Mean husband – 58 cruel signs, reasons, and what you can do to help him change]

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By understanding their playbook, you can anticipate and counter their moves more effectively.

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6. Maintain Emotional Distance

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While it’s essential to be empathetic, keeping an emotional distance from Machiavellian individuals can be beneficial.

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Research in emotional psychology suggests that maintaining a level of detachment can prevent you from being emotionally manipulated. Think of it as putting up a psychological shield to guard against their mind games. [Read: 34 Secrets to calmly deal with haters, rid their negativity, and keep your Zen!]

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7. Build a Support Network

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There’s strength in numbers. Having a strong support network can provide a buffer against Machiavellian tactics.

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Studies in social psychology highlight the importance of having trusted colleagues or friends to discuss and validate your experiences, offering a reality check when needed.

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8. Practice Self-Care and Mindfulness

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Self-care isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a crucial defense strategy. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

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Engaging in self-care activities and mindfulness can help you stay grounded and centered, as suggested by research in mental health and wellness. This practice helps in building resilience against the stress that can come from interacting with Machiavellian individuals.

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9. Avoid Power Struggles

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Engaging in a power struggle with a Machiavellian can be like entering a lion’s den.

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Studies in conflict resolution advise avoiding direct power struggles, as Machiavellians thrive in these environments. Instead, focus on collaborative solutions and seek neutral ground where possible. [Read: Power struggles in a relationship – signs and ways to overcome it]

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10. Seek Professional Advice if Needed

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Sometimes, the best way to deal with a tricky situation is to seek professional advice. This could be HR in a workplace setting or a counselor for personal situations.

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Research in organizational and counseling psychology supports the idea that professional guidance can provide effective strategies for dealing with complex interpersonal dynamics. [Read: Relationship therapy – 25 clues to know if it’ll help your romance]

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Mastering the Machiavellian Melody

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Everyone plays the game of life differently. Some might follow the rules, others bend them, and then there are those who rewrite them entirely. Machiavellians might be playing a different game altogether, but now you know the rules of their game too.

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So, the next time you find yourself wondering about the motivations behind someone’s actions, or you’re trying to untangle the web of office politics, just think back to the world of Machiavellianism. [Read: Am I dating a sociopath? 26 warning signs, effects, and ways to get over it]

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And remember, it’s always a good move to know when you’re facing a Machiavellian opponent. After all, forewarned is forearmed, especially when it comes to navigating the intriguing landscape of Machiavellianism traits.

The post Machiavellianism Traits: What Makes One, 19 Signs & How to Not Fall Victim is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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We think men are the only ones able to pick someone up. It’s the 21st century, ladies! Don’t think only they hold the power, learn how to pick up guys.

$\"how$ \n\n\n\n

When we go out, whether to a bar or nightclub, we often expect men to hit on us. It’s not about feeling like princesses, but over time, we’ve certainly become accustomed to the idea that it’s up to men to put in the effort to get our attention. However, knowing how to pick up guys can shift this dynamic, giving us the power to take the initiative when we see someone we’re interested in. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy: Baby steps to help him talk to you]

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What happens when we spot a really attractive guy? What if he doesn’t approach us? His lack of approach doesn’t always mean he’s not interested. Perhaps he hasn’t noticed us, or maybe he’s too shy to make the first move. This is exactly why it’s important for us to learn how to pick up guys.

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Breaking Down the Stereotype

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Back in the 1800s, if a woman even thought about making the first move, it would have caused quite the scandal. Fast forward to our era, and we’re still tiptoeing around this idea.

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Yes, even in a world where we can order a date like a pizza, the stereotype that men should always make the first move sticks around like that one song you can’t get out of your head.

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But why are we still clinging to this old-school script? It’s like we’ve all been cast in a never-ending rom-com where the guys are always expected to take the lead. This isn’t just about tradition, it’s about how our society has choreographed the dating dance. [Read: Common relationship tips that ruin your love life]

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Think about it. How often do we hear about dating advice and automatically think it’s about men approaching women? This stereotype isn’t just about who buys the first drink; it’s deeply rooted in our psyche.

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For guys, this means carrying the weight of ‘making the first move’, which can be as nerve-wracking as a high-stakes poker game. And for the ladies? It often means sitting on the sidelines, analyzing every glance and gesture, wondering if they’re giving off the right signals.

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The thing is, breaking this stereotype isn’t just a bold move; it’s a game-changer. Imagine the possibilities when we shuffle the deck and change the rules of how to pick up guys.

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For men, it’s a refreshing change from always having to steer the ship. And for women, it’s like unlocking a new level in the dating game – one where they’re in control.

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Why Ladies Should Know How to Pick Up Guys

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Okay, ladies! Maybe you’re wondering why you should learn the ropes of how to pick up guys instead of just letting them do all the legwork. Well, there are plenty of good reasons to take the reins in this game of hearts.

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1. Boosts Confidence

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Learning how to pick up guys is a major confidence booster. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and owning your desires. [Read: 55 secrets & self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

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This newfound confidence can spill over into other areas of your life, making you feel unstoppable. Plus, who doesn’t love the rush of taking charge in a situation?

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2. Breaks Stereotypes

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It’s 2023, and time to challenge outdated dating norms. By making the first move, you’re showing that women can be just as bold as men.

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This not only feels liberating but also sets a progressive example for others. Every time you approach a guy, you’re helping to redefine societal roles.

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3. Improves Social Skills

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Approaching someone new is an excellent way to polish your social skills. It’s about learning to read body language, start engaging conversations, and make genuine connections.

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As we mentioned above, such skills are invaluable and can be used in all aspects of life, not just dating. Plus, the more you practice, the better you get at the art of how to pick up guys. [Read: Social Butterfly: How to be one, and pros & cons of being outgoing and friendly]

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4. Expands Your Options

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Why wait for Mr. Right to come to you? By taking the initiative, you widen your dating pool significantly. You get to choose who you want to talk to, rather than hoping the right guy notices you.

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Taking a proactive approach means you’re more likely to find someone truly compatible.

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5. Empowers Decision-Making

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When you’re the one doing the picking up, you’re in control of your dating destiny. It’s about making deliberate choices, rather than passively accepting whoever approaches you.

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Gaining empowerment in this way can be incredibly satisfying and exhilarating. And let’s not forget, it’s always a thrill to call the shots every once in a while!

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6. Reduces Waiting Time

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Let’s face it, waiting for someone to approach you can be like watching paint dry. By learning how to pick up guys, you cut down on all that waiting around.

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It’s about seizing the moment and making things happen on your schedule. This approach is not only efficient but also keeps the momentum going. [Read: 24 secrets to be patient in a relationship & avoid risking a new love]

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7. Encourages Equality

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Taking the initiative in dating promotes a more equal playing field. It challenges the notion that men should always lead and women should follow.

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Equality can lead to more balanced and respectful relationships. Plus, many guys find it refreshing and attractive when a woman makes the first move.

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8. Creates Surprising Opportunities

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You never know what might happen when you make the first move. It could lead to an amazing conversation, a great date, or even a meaningful relationship.

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By being proactive, you open the door to unexpected and exciting possibilities. It’s like turning every outing into a potential adventure in how to pick up guys.

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9. Enhances Personal Growth

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Taking charge in your dating life is a journey of self-discovery. You learn about your preferences, your deal-breakers, and what really makes you click with someone.

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This process of exploration and learning is incredibly enriching. Plus, it’s always rewarding to see yourself grow and evolve.

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10. It’s Just Plain Fun

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Let’s not forget, learning how to pick up guys can be a whole lot of fun. It’s about enjoying the flirtatious banter, the thrill of the chase, and the joy of connection. [Read: Playful banter: What it is, how to do it & secrets to keep the flirty talk going]

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Each experience is unique and can be filled with laughter, excitement, and maybe a little bit of mystery. After all, what’s life without a bit of playful adventure?

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How to Pick Up Guys

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There have been times where we’ve seen a good-looking guy, and we spent the entire night trying to make ourselves approachable. We do the clichéd ‘dance near him’ routine or ‘stand next to him at the bar.’ We’ve tried it all.

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But at those times, we never thought about just going up and talking to him; it never crossed our minds. Weird, right? And who knows what could have happened, but by not making any move, we already know that having nothing happen is the obvious outcome.

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But why not be the one to make the first move? Not sure how to pick up guys? Well, it’s time you learned and played the field. [Read: It’s time to stop being a wallflower and learn how to talk to guys]

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1. Don’t Wait

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We know you’re probably waiting for the right time to come along where you can bump into him or smile at him to get his attention. What are you waiting for, honestly? You’re wasting your time.

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If you want to exchange numbers and land a date, well, talk to him. So, don’t wait, just walk up to him and start a conversation.

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Sure, you’ll be nervous but just think about how he’s feeling. A woman just approached him and that takes balls. [Read: How to introduce yourself to a guy: The guide to impress any guy]

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2. Be Yourself

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But really. We know this sounds like a lame tip, but it’s the most important one. Don’t try to be some mysteriously sexy woman because you’re going to come off as an idiot. [Read: 33 secrets to be true to yourself & signs you need to unfake your life]

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You’re probably already sexy, so just be yourself. It’ll shine through. [Read: 30 things to talk about when you’re tongue-tied]

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3. There’s No “Right Place”

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You can meet men at bars, you can also meet them at grocery stores, bus stops, libraries, and your local swimming pool. Point is, men are everywhere. So, don’t limit yourself to only one place in order to find a guy.

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Okay, maybe a doctor’s office isn’t the best place, but who knows, maybe it is. What I’m trying to say is, whenever you see a guy that you’re into, go talk to him.

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4. Go Out to Different Venues

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This one bar or club may be your favorite place to go, but you probably know everyone there. So, it’s time you ventured out and experienced other places. You’ll also get to meet different people than you typically see on a night out.

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Plus, who knows where the guy of your dreams is hanging out on a Saturday night.

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5. Don’t Go Out With a Gang of Women

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There’s literally nothing more intimidating than a woman surrounded by a pack of women all staring and giggling at you while you talk to a guy.

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If you’re going to hit on a guy, make sure your friends aren’t glaring at you from across the room.

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In these cases, it’s best to be a one-woman show. Or if you need a wing woman, bring a close friend, not the entire crew. [Read: 25 characteristics to look for in a wing woman]

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6. Be Prepared

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No, we don’t mean condoms, but you should always carry some in your bag, FYI. What we’re talking about is what happens if your phone dies and you wanted to take his number? What if his phone is dead too?

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In your bag, carry a pen and either a napkin or piece of paper. That way, if you need to, you can give him your number/take his number the old-fashioned way.

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7. Just Say Hi

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We know, you’re probably thinking, could it be that easy? Well, yeah. Just start the conversation by smiling and saying hi. If he’s smart, he’ll clue into the fact that you’re into him, and he’ll reply.

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Most of the time, you don’t need a cheesy pickup line or to trip in front of him in order to start a conversation. [Read: Easy conversation starters you can use on a guy you like]

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8. Ask Him to Dance

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We know, this sounds a little high school, but it works like a charm. If you’re at the bar or near the dance floor and see a cute guy next to you, just turn to him and ask him if he wants to dance.

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If he says no, go to the dance floor and dance anyway. You can’t lose. Either way, you get to dance.

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9. Use Your Surroundings as Topics

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If you’re nervous and unsure of what to talk about, well, use what’s around you. Maybe you’re at a bar and the music is really good or you’re at the gym and it’s his leg day *he’s a keeper*.

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The point is, you have an endless source of conversation material that’s literally surrounding you.

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10. Be Social

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The only way to meet people, men, in particular, is if you’re social. Whether you’re at a bar, chess club, or running club, you need to socialize.

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You don’t have to be the social butterfly, but talking to people around you will relax the atmosphere and your own nerves, allowing you to comfortably start a conversation with a guy you’re into. [Read: Easy ways to more social and genuinely connect with others]

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11. Don’t Overthink

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You may be freaking out or overanalyzing some things before, during, and after you talk to a guy, but don’t. All this will do is get you down a path of insecurity and fear, two things that you don’t need in your life. If you overanalyze, you’ll feel overwhelmed and will pull out of the situation.

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12. Feel Sexy and Confident

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If you feel sexy, well, he’s going to see it. Before you go figuring out how to pick up guys, you want to feel good about yourself when you approach him.

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If you’re nervous and timid, he’s not going to respond well. Think of it like this, when a guy approaches you, the confident ones are usually the ones that get the attention, right? Same thing here. [Read: Tips to revamp and reveal the new and sexy you]

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13. Flash a Genuine Smile

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Nothing breaks the ice like a warm, genuine smile. It’s a universal signal of friendliness and approachability that can make you seem more inviting.

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When you smile, it not only boosts your mood but also makes you more attractive to others. Plus, it’s a great way to show you’re interested without saying a word.

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14. Show Off Your Sense of Humor

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Let your sense of humor shine through. A good laugh not only eases tension but also creates a bond. Jokes or playful teasing can be a great way to gauge his sense of humor and see if you’re on the same wavelength. Remember, laughter is a key ingredient in the recipe of how to pick up guys.

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15. Initiate Light Physical Contact

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A light touch on the arm or a playful nudge can be very effective. It’s a non-verbal way of showing interest and seeing how he responds to physical contact. [Read: Types of touches: The 36 physical touches we use & what they mean]

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Of course, always be mindful of his comfort and boundaries. Just as you wouldn’t appreciate feeling harassed if a guy was hitting on you, be sure to always respect his personal space and boundaries. This subtle approach can speak volumes in the language of attraction.

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16. Compliment Him Genuinely

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Everyone appreciates a genuine compliment. Find something you genuinely like about him – maybe it’s his style, his smile, or his witty remarks.

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Compliments can open the door to further conversation and show that you’re paying attention. Plus, it’s a nice way to make someone feel good about themselves.

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17. Show Interest in His Interests

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If he mentions an interest or hobby, show genuine curiosity. Asking questions about his passions not only keeps the conversation flowing but also shows that you care about his interests.

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This can lead to deeper, more meaningful interactions. Remember, understanding his world is a key step in how to pick up guys. [Read: How men bond with a woman: The art of connecting on a deeper level]

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18. Offer to Buy Him a Drink

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This is a classic role reversal and a clear signal of your interest. Offering to buy him a drink can be a great conversation starter and puts you in the driver’s seat.

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It’s a simple gesture that breaks traditional norms and can be quite empowering. Plus, it’s a straightforward way of showing that you’re interested and generous.

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19. Leave a Little Mystery

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While being open is great, leaving a little to the imagination can be intriguing. Share about yourself, but don’t reveal everything all at once.

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This creates an air of mystery and gives him a reason to want to know more about you. After all, a little mystery can add a lot of allure to the game of how to pick up guys.

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20. You’re Going to Get Rejected

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Yeah, we’re sorry, but it’s true. We know we like to think that every guy wants us, but that, my friends, is a lie. Your ego must accept that. But just because someone rejects you doesn’t mean you can’t continue on. [Read: 20 first moves that work like a charm when you want to make a move on a guy]

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Dealing with Rejection When Picking Up Guys

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Speaking of, stepping into the dating scene and learning how to pick up guys means sometimes facing the tough side of things: rejection.

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It’s a universal experience, but the good news is that it doesn’t have to bring you down. Let’s explore some ways to handle rejection with poise and resilience.

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1. Reframe Your Perspective

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Remember, rejection is not a personal indictment of your worth; it’s just a sign of mismatched expectations or chemistry.

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Each rejection is actually a step closer to finding a more suitable match. Think of it as a necessary part of the journey in the art of how to pick up guys. Every ‘no’ you encounter is merely a redirection toward a better ‘yes’. [Read: 36 healthy ways to handle rejection & respond positively even if it hurts]

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2. Practice Self-Compassion

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Being kind to yourself after facing rejection is crucial. Allow yourself to feel disappointed, but don’t indulge in self-criticism.

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Engage in activities that make you happy and boost your self-esteem, like a favorite hobby or a relaxing self-care routine. This practice of self-compassion is essential for bouncing back and maintaining your confidence.

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3. Stay Socially Connected

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Reach out to friends and your social network for support. Sharing your experiences and feelings can be immensely therapeutic.

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Participating in social activities that you enjoy can also reinforce your sense of self-worth and remind you that there’s more to life than dating. A strong support system is key to resilience, especially when navigating the complexities of how to pick up guys.

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4. Keep Things in Perspective

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It’s important to recognize that rejection is a normal part of dating. Each interaction is unique, and it’s unproductive to generalize a single rejection to your entire dating life.

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Focus on your personal goals and values, and remember that not everyone you meet will align with them. Keeping a broad perspective ensures that a single rejection doesn’t overshadow your overall experience. [Read: Fear of rejection: 56 signs, causes & ways to overcome and get over it]

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5. Continue to Put Yourself Out There

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Persistence is key in learning how to pick up guys, as in any area of life. Don’t let the fear of rejection deter you from meeting new people and having new experiences.

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Each interaction is a chance to learn more about yourself and what you look for in a partner. Courage is about moving forward despite the fear, and each step forward is a victory in itself.

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Put the Power in Your Hands, Chase What You Want

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It’s time to own your confidence, flash your best smile, and remember – you’re not just waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet. You’re the director of your own romantic comedy, and it’s about to get really fun. [Read: 50 secrets to get your shit together when you’re feeling really stuck in life]

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Sure, knowing how to pick up guys isn’t a walk in the park, especially when we’ve been so used to being on the receiving end of the charm offensive. But hey, why not change the game? Put the power in your hands, and chase what you want. This isn’t just about finding a date. It’s about embracing your boldness, sparking some joy, and making your dating life as vibrant and exciting as you are.

The post 20 Foolproof Ways on How to Pick Up Guys & Why You Should Start Doing It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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$\"Mothers$

Raised amid conflict and loss, one woman transforms her experiences into a legacy of love that would touch many lives.

The post The Woman Who Turned Adversity into a Legacy of Love appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

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$\"Meta-emotion$

Does your effort to support your partner spiral into arguments? Maybe you can relate to Elena and Tom below. Elena: … Continued

The post Head vs. Heart: Solving Meta-Emotion Mismatches for a Stronger Bond appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Head, vs., Heart:, Solving, Meta-Emotion, Mismatches, for, Stronger, Bond", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "145", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/GettyImages-1330749982-1-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/head-vs-heart-solving-meta-emotion-mismatches-for-a-stronger-bond/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-13 18:59:20", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39704", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: We Broke Up Because Of Our Genotype Yet Fate Keeps Punishing Us", "title_slug": "true-life-story-we-broke-up-because-of-our-genotype-yet-fate-keeps-punishing-us", "title_hash": "9458dd6ea3bb06703499398cb9910c3a", "summary": "True Life Story: We Broke Up Because Of Our Genotype Yet Fate Keeps Punishing Us Dear Lively Stones, I have a story on genotype. Please before you claim genotype, please do your test very very well…..Ade was the love of my life. I never been so much in love…a guy who worshipped me with love…he […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: We Broke Up Because Of Our Genotype Yet Fate Keeps Punishing Us

Dear Lively Stones,

I have a story on genotype. Please before you claim genotype, please do your test very very well…..Ade was the love of my life. I never been so much in love…a guy who worshipped me with love…he was everything. We dated for eight months and spent everyday with each other. My parents loved him and could not ask for a better future son in-law. We were both looking forward to a future today until one day my dad asked Ade what his genotype was. Ade did not know so my dad asked him to go do it. After testing, it turned out that Ade is AS and I am also AS.

That was the beginning of the end. My parents who are both lecturers in school of medicine advised us to break up cos there was no future being married to someone who has the sickle cell gene. It was rough but my father pushed Ade away, he warned him not to make his only daughter a sad woman. You see, I am an only child. My parents lost 2 children to the sickle cell. Before that, my mom has several miscarriages, my survival was nothing short of a miracle.

So even though it crushed us, me and Ade broke up. I moved on to Study in the US, I met and got married to my husband who has the good gene, AA…we have a son. Three years later, we got divorced due to infidelity from my husband. It was quite a painful one because he slept with several women, too much for me to bear. I decided to move back home and start afresh. But starting afresh has not been easy cos I think I still have trust issues for men. So, have dated casually here and there but nothing really serious.

I started trying online dating and I searched Ade online. I saw that he was married and decided to stay away from him until he sent me a friend request months back. I accepted and we got talking. He was very empathetic that I was divorced. He started trying to hook me up with some of his friends, Ted, one of his friends and I started dating.

Ted, is Ade’s business partner, a nice guy…we been going strong and got engaged. But then the strangest thing happened…. Ade was involved in a minor accident recently and he was required to run some tests. During the test, they discovered he was actually AA and not AS. He refused to believe it so he ran the test in 3 other labs. It turns out that Ade was actually given a wrong genotype many years ago….he is actually AA. This revelations came with mixed feelings cos we realize now that wrong diagnosis have changed our lives forever.

The day Ade came to my place to tell me the news….I curled up on the floor and began to cry. Like….I wailed for almost 20mins. Ade too cried….like we were both robbed of ever being together. Now, he has a wife and children….it was a vulnerable moment….we ended up sleeping with each other. And we both felt bad to be cheating on our partners. My feelings for Ade is all back and stronger. The same for him. We don’t know what to do about it.

More From Lively Stones

And yes, I am planning my wedding with Ted but all my thoughts and feelings are with Ade. How do I marry Ted after sleeping with his friend…same friend who introduced us? Why is this life so unfair? How do I marry Ted when I am in love with Ade? This is not fair…not fair…..please advise me….or is this a sign that Ade and I may have been given a second chance or how else can anyone explain what is happening right now? How do I get Ade out of my head when the only obstacle in our way just cleared away?

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Broke, Because, Our, Genotype, Yet, Fate, Keeps, Punishing", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "126", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Broke-Up.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-we-broke-up-because-of-our-genotype-yet-fate-keeps-punishing-us/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-13 18:59:17", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39703", "lang_id": "1", "title": "The Duke and Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Visit Nigeria For The First Time", "title_slug": "the-duke-and-duchess-of-sussex-meghan-markle-and-prince-harry-visit-nigeria-for-the-first-time", "title_hash": "24b982227832a6365afdef7d3c326e03", "summary": "The Duke and Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Visit Nigeria For The First Time The duke and duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry touched down in Nigeria on Friday, May 10, for their first official international tour since stepping back from their royal roles in 2020. The Duke and Duchess […]", "content": " $\"The$

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Visit Nigeria For The First Time

The duke and duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry touched down in Nigeria on Friday, May 10, for their first official international tour since stepping back from their royal roles in 2020.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex were pictured arriving at Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport in Abuja on Friday morning.

Afterwards, they made their way to the Lights Academy in Abuja, where they interacted with the students

Click here to see more videos and pictures from their visit

", "keywords": "The, Duke, and, Duchess, Sussex, Meghan, Markle, and, Prince, Harry, Visit, Nigeria, For, The, First, Time", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "119", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Meghan-and-Prince-Harry-In-Nigeria.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/the-duke-and-duchess-of-sussex-meghan-markle-and-prince-harry-visit-nigeria-for-the-first-time/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-13 18:59:14", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39702", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: I Lied To Avoid Loosing A Good Man To Marry Me", "title_slug": "true-life-story-i-lied-to-avoid-loosing-a-good-man-to-marry-me", "title_hash": "b7eb7bedd3e4d09ec1765eaec827a498", "summary": "True Life Story: I Lied To Avoid Loosing A Good Man To Marry Me Dear Lively Stones, Please this is a short one. I am engaged. God gave me a good man to marry me but first, I used to work in this company where I was the company’s Admin Officer/Treasurer. The owner is from […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: I Lied To Avoid Loosing A Good Man To Marry Me

Dear Lively Stones,

Please this is a short one. I am engaged. God gave me a good man to marry me but first, I used to work in this company where I was the company’s Admin Officer/Treasurer. The owner is from my village, he used to help alot of young people from my village. Back then, I was just a school leaver and I needed money for school and to help my family. I was introduced to this man and he offered me a job as Admin Officer/Treasurer. Him and his wife were good to me, they trusted me with alot of responsibilities even sometimes, they invited me to spend weekends at their home.

That was how I felt very comfortable around them as my mentors but oga was secretly touching me behind madam. I tried to resist but I was young and I naive…his promise of a good life was so tempting, eventually, I succumbed and oga started sleeping with me. I felt terrible most times but I needed the money. He took care of me and my siblings and made sure we are completed our tertiary institution.

It was when I went for service that I finally broke free from oga and his influence. I stayed away after service and turned my life to Christ. I prayed to God to forgive me and since then, I have never slept with a married man ever. That has been like over 6 years now. I was engaged to be married but things did not work out. Found out the guy lied, he was with someone else. I took that as punishment from God, for maybe sleeping with another woman’s husband in the past.

Until I met my current boyfriend. Uchenna is such a handsome, sweet, kind and intelligent man. We met each other during a childhood friend’s wedding. We got talking and we became hooked. We have been dating and our families have accepted our marriage. Uchenna’s mom happens to be cousin’s with my former oga but I never knew until he found out about the wedding. It happened when Uchenna told me his Uncle called to say I used to work for them and so he was happy about our wedding.

Infact, his Uncle and his wife wanted to take over the sponsorship of the wedding but I knew oga was looking for a way to get close to me again. So, I refused their help. Uchenna was surprised that I did not want their money. I was showing so much animosity towards them cos I was scared of Oga. I was scared I would fall back to having s3x again with him cos I was like a s3x slave to him back then. I did everything he asked me to…I was in love with him and I fear I can’t control myself around him.

I became nervous cos of the history I had with this man. The memories we had together started coming back. I started even having s3x dreams about oga…I was so scared that I did not know what to do. I never told Uchenna about the affair with his Uncle. I was afraid that maybe if I went close to oga again, I would fall again. My fear was confirmed cos Oga invited Uchenna and I over to their home for a weekend….Throughout that visit, Oga was using his eyes to scan through my entire body. I barely survived that visit.

Then he had the audacity to ask me to come to visit him in the office, that he wanted to show the employees that one of the pioneer staff of the company was getting married. I instantly refused. Uchenna asked why, I lied that I was busy or something. Next, anytime Uchenna brought up anything about the Uncle or his wife, I started avoiding saying anything about the,. Uchenna started noticing. Uchenna asked why I was avoiding talking about them, I said I was not avoiding them.

I don’t blame Oga’s wife, she was sweet and innocent, she truly loved everyone around her and she was genuinely kind. She suggested that they host the wedding reception in their big compound and I refused. Uchenna was confused….he kept wondering why I was not showing the same positive reaction towards his uncle and his wife. I knew I was reacting and it was getting out of hand. Then I knew I had to come up with a lie quickly. One that would throw oga off my back.

I told Uchenna that his Uncle was a good man but the time I stayed with them, tried several times to sleep with me when I was in his house…I lied to make it look like I was a victim. And I told him I did not want anything to upset the wife. Uchenna was shocked but he finally understood but also so upset that he decided to cut his Uncle off from our wedding. Everything the uncle or his wife tried to do for us, Uchenna politely declined. Oga became suspicious. Even family members are wondering why the sudden change in behavior towards the Ugus family (not real name please) He tried to call me but I blocked him so he used a different line to call.

At first, I did not recognize the voice but soon as I heard his voice…I dropped the call….I became panicky. My hands began to shake…then he sent a message which read: ”sweetheart, welcome to the family, now, you will be married to the family and you will become our wife forever.”

To the normal person, that message was like a welcome to the family but I knew what he was implying….he was implying that marrying Uchenna meant I was marrying into his family and I would become his forever. The truth is, that message scared me more cos…it reminded me that I willingly participated in s3x with this man for almost 3 years and I lied about it. I lied to protect myself and my marriage. However, as the wedding draws close, I find myself thinking…

More From Lively Stones

Does this lie make me a bad person? I know God has forgiven me but I still feel guilty especially now that I am getting married to the nephew of the man that I slept with for three years. I am struggling inside me with this situation. Did I handle this well or should I have just ended everything the minute I found out Uchenna was related to Oga?

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Lied, Avoid, Loosing, Good, Man, Marry", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "112", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/neigbors-wife.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-i-lied-to-avoid-loosing-a-good-man-to-marry-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-13 18:59:12", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39701", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: Help-Is There Any Future With Me & My Baby Daddy?", "title_slug": "true-life-story-help-is-there-any-future-with-me-my-baby-daddy", "title_hash": "438517ce3cc74df8d65d70a30c970851", "summary": "True Life Story: Help-Is There Any Future With Me & My Baby Daddy? Dear Lively Stones, Please pardon my writing. My name is Jessy, I came down to Osun state when I lost my father in 2016 although I decided to stay here since my mother relative are here and my dad side is willing […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: Help-Is There Any Future With Me & My Baby Daddy?

Dear Lively Stones,

Please pardon my writing. My name is Jessy, I came down to Osun state when I lost my father in 2016 although I decided to stay here since my mother relative are here and my dad side is willing to take the only building he left for us. I got a teaching job at my area promised to present my result but unfortunately I can’t because I did not do my project due to financial instability and my health issues so I decided to help my brothers.

Along the line I met this man and I feel in love with him though I was in a relationship with Dele(his age then was 50 and mine 28)Dele loved me and ready to take care of me and establish me but I dont want to settle down with him because of my elder sister who gave birth for a married man and she is not living with the man so I don’t want to do the same thing because of my younger brother (am afraid dont want them to be in our shoes).

So I told the man and we departed for some month. When I met my baby father ,I loved him so much and we started talking. I dont ask him or force him to do anything for me except if gives me. I introduced him to my mother and some of my elder sisters know him on phone. During our meeting I bought a lot of things for myself which his aware. I got pregnant and we fix to do introduction at least make my family know him and who is responsible for my pregnancy.

It was during the COVID-19 pandemic and I make sure everything the baby needed I bought it which I do carry him along. We fixed Feb 2,2020 as our introduction and I carried the 99%of it because I understand his pocket beside I do receive salary before him so everything we used during the intro was me and my mother. My mom was happy because am a SS and first child to do such things in our nuclear family.

I make sure I dont disturb him much to the extent of using my money for NHIS in order relief is during delivery day and to God be the glory all money spent for my son in hospital was just 5naira and I spent 78000(my mom gave us sum money but I can’t say the actual amount). My husband was working with a reputable well pastor which I wont mention but we are not recognized because it all happened outside wedlock and been asking him when we are going to stay together or do I have to raise the child under my roof alone but he doesn’t even consider nor give me a reason to think otherwise.

After a year alot happen and I started blaming myself for not marry the first man. I do everything he supposed to do in family and also ready to follow him to his town Ikot Ekpene and I meet his entire family because have met his few people and they are good to me .I paid my house rent NEPA bill, our son crèche money and even clothe him too he only give me 15000 for food and his not enough sometimes I don’t collect salaries and I was not happy until God bless me with my dad pension money which I used it to start food stuff in year 2021/2022.

He want support me with any even if am sick no sorry I lost my business when I gain admission to NCE again and my son was admitted in seventh day hospital I cried but I had to save my life and my son life,it was from hospital I fly up and said if my baby should die I promised him death with few minutes…this argument lead to complete 2years and I add to leave where am leaving to my family house because of my school which I will finish the program this year..

He did not give me any support for my academic oo but during the fight I was into another relationship but because of my son I had to come and beg him again so that his son wont be affected in any means but despite all my effort till now he’s only interested in his son and not ready for any marriage commitment btw Us. I think I need to let go of him forever and never returned but still pretending as if all is fine because of my son,I want him to grow a little and besides I want to continue and go for my degree by next year.

More From Lively Stones

Dont forget am working and collection 20000 and he does not support me in my carrier, sincerely I do plan for him also no attention,care ,prayer support word of encouragement from him and if he give our baby anything I do appreciate it) he lives in the pastor house where he pays nothing, everything is free except food,he’s illiterate and I do encourage him to go for adult education where I teach him the fundamental things he need to know.

What should I do? And he pays more attention to other ladies friends relative than me…….pls should I wait or moved on ?

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

Share This

", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Help-Is, There, Any, Future, With, Baby, Daddy", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Baby-Daddy.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-help-is-there-any-future-with-me-my-baby-daddy/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-13 18:59:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39700", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: How I Fell In Love After Vowing Never To Love Any Man After My Late Husband", "title_slug": "true-life-story-how-i-fell-in-love-after-vowing-never-to-love-any-man-after-my-late-husband", "title_hash": "cfb2d34c1d031415445f0b7770a3869d", "summary": "True Life Story: How I Fell In Love After Vowing Never To Love Any Man After My Late Husband Dear Lively Stones, God has a very funny sense of humor. My husband died six years ago and I made up my mind to remain single for the rest of my life. My husband was my […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: How I Fell In Love After Vowing Never To Love Any Man After My Late Husband

Dear Lively Stones,

God has a very funny sense of humor. My husband died six years ago and I made up my mind to remain single for the rest of my life. My husband was my best friend, we loved each other so much, I did not think I could find someone to ever replace him. Besides, I already have four children, what is the point of remarrying cos I do not want any more children. So I have been on my own even though I felt lonely for a long time.

Last year, I met someone. He was introduced to me for a new business I wanted to start. He was the major distributor in Lagos and I had to go through him. And he was so kind and professional. When it was time to register my business, he gave me support cos I needed a huge collateral but he gave me exception when I told him I was a widow. He knocked off a huge amount for me.

The business went very well, I made alot of money and this man has always been very supportive. Eventually, he started telling me he likes me and is attracted to me but I was not into him that much. He said he was divorced and I used to advise him to reconcile with his ex but he told me she had moved on. Eventually, I was overwhelmed by his love for me and my children, I gave love a chance.

My man was nothing short of supportive. Everyone felt happy for me cos he is a very great and kind man. Things were going smoothly, I felt happy and young again. This past one year has been very happy for me. I travelled to Dubai with him and the kids for Christmas. It felt good to be pampered by such a kind man. Hes already saying we are getting married by end of this year even though I want us to wait till next year. And then, out of no where, in March, his ex wife calls and says she wants to work things out.

That was when I find out they are just separated, not really divorced. He had been asking for a divorce but she left the country cos she did not want to sign the divorce papers. This woman never cared about him until she heard that he has found love again. This woman moved into his home cos she said its still her home and my man could not stand against her. He tried to reason with her that he is no longer interested, but she convinced him that she was back and nothing was going to send her away again.

My guy tried to hide this from me but I found out and he tried to appeal with me to have patience that he cannot throw her out cos she is the mother of their son. I got upset and told him to go back to his wife and that I blamed myself for falling for a man that not fully divorced. He begged me for days but I gave him the cold shoulder. I told him not to talk to me until he resolved issues with his wife. He said I have a short temper and that I was not reasoning with him.

That was in March, after begging me for a few days, I stopped hearing from him. I swear, it was very hard for me cos I miss him everyday. I cried myself to sleep. I asked God why he sent me a man like this to torture me. I got upset at him but I missed him so much. For almost a month, we did not see each other …I almost lost my sanity but I restrained myself as I prayed and hoped everyday for this man to finally divorce the wife.

Two weeks ago, he sent me a text that he and his wife have finally divorced but he wants space to think. He said he was disappointed that I broke up with him when he needed me most. He said he was shocked at how I flared at him without listening to any of his explanations. I called him to explain but he refused to pick up my calls. Now, I have gotten the divorce but it appears my relationship has broken up. I have been trying to reach him and he is not picking up. I gathered courage and went to his place. He was not around but I met his wife…she was still there. And I was confused thinking he was trying to deceive me.

I flared up and left there…after I sent him a stinker message that I met his wife still in his house. I cursed him for trying to deceive me yet again. He replied that part of the divorce settlement is that he will leave the house for his wife…he has moved to another house. This is why I feel God is trying to mock me. I vowed not to fall in love with another man after my late husband but here I am, at my age of almost 40 years old…hopelessly in love with a man that is playing games with my heart.

I have not been myself since these few days. My man has refused to tell me where he is staying….he says he still needs space cos he wants to be sure I am truly a woman that loves him sincerely cos he started having doubts about me after his wife came back, That even after he explained that he had no feelings for her, I refused to believe him. Is this guy serious or is he not trying to gas light me?

What did I do wrong? Is it my fault his wife came back? Am I wrong to breaking up when his legally married wife showed up? Why is he messing with my heart now by saying he needs some time to think? I feel bad and unhappy. I dont like this idea of space…I miss him so much…I just want him back …back to the way things used to be but he says he is not ready. I think he is taking this too far and I am getting angry and I feel like, telling him not to bother coming back to me after he has taken enough space and time to think.

More From Lively Stones

Do you think if I tell him that, do you think that may push him away or will that make him come running back to me? I really do not want to loose him…I miss him so much, my kids also miss him so much…they have been asking of him…please advice me…what should I do?

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

Share This

", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, How, Fell, Love, After, Vowing, Never, Love, Any, Man, After, Late, Husband", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "136", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/fell-in-love.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-how-i-fell-in-love-after-vowing-never-to-love-any-man-after-my-late-husband/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-13 18:59:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39487", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Touch Tests", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-touch-tests", "title_hash": "d017fa66142437697687a5519ac72536", "summary": "Not sure if a girl you’re talking to is into you? Want to find out a quick, fun, and easy way? Use a touch test! It’s like a compliance test – with touch!\nAll right, let’s have a little fun with this Tactics Tuesdays installment.\nToday we’re going to talk about ‘touch tests’ of all sorts, from harmless to risqué.\nWhat is a touch test? It is a kind of compliance test where the compliance you test for is her receptiveness to your touch. These tests run the full gamut from light incidental touches to slapping girls’ butts, manhandling their breasts, and pulling their hair.\nSee, I told you it went all the way up to ‘risqué’.\nTo use anything more than very light touch tests, you’re going to need a healthy helping of calibration. But there’s one other thing you need to use ANY kind of touch test, too: congruence.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"touch$ Not sure if a girl you’re talking to is into you? Want to find out a quick, fun, and easy way? Use a touch test! It’s like a compliance test – with touch!

All right, let’s have a little fun with this Tactics Tuesdays installment.

Today we’re going to talk about ‘touch tests’ of all sorts, from harmless to risqué.

What is a touch test? It is a kind of compliance test where the compliance you test for is her receptiveness to your touch. These tests run the full gamut from light incidental touches to slapping girls’ butts, manhandling their breasts, and pulling their hair.

See, I told you it went all the way up to ‘risqué’.

To use anything more than very light touch tests, you’re going to need a healthy helping of calibration. But there’s one other thing you need to use ANY kind of touch test, too: congruence.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Touch, Tests", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "135", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/touch-tests-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-touch-tests", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:08:11", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39486", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Giving a Girl the Archetypal Romance", "title_slug": "giving-a-girl-the-archetypal-romance", "title_hash": "db3697ae06935431a0f7e01833c0e42a", "summary": "Women fantasize about a type of ‘archetypal romance’. They read stories about it; they dream of it. As a man, you can give women just such a romance, too.\nWe have a thread on the forum where we’ve discussed how to better write female characters. It started with a discussion on how poorly written most modern female characters are (with them basically being written as “men with breasts and zero character development”), then discussing better-written female characters.\nRecently, that thread revived, with a discussion now centered on archetypal female characters. I weighed in with some examples of variations on an archetypal female character progression:\n\n\nHeroine is either single or dating a boring guy who is pressing her for commitment.\n\n\n\n\nHeroine then meets an exciting scoundrel and begins to fall in love.\n\n\n\n\nHeroine realizes the scoundrel is “no good” and pushes him away… yet misses him.\n\n\n\n\nThe scoundrel redeems himself and the heroine rushes back into his arms.\n\n\n\n\nHeroine transfor", "content": "

$\"giving$ Women fantasize about a type of ‘archetypal romance’. They read stories about it; they dream of it. As a man, you can give women just such a romance, too.

We have a thread on the forum where we’ve discussed how to better write female characters. It started with a discussion on how poorly written most modern female characters are (with them basically being written as “men with breasts and zero character development”), then discussing better-written female characters.

Recently, that thread revived, with a discussion now centered on archetypal female characters. I weighed in with some examples of variations on an archetypal female character progression:

\n
Heroine is either single or dating a boring guy who is pressing her for commitment.
\n

\n
Heroine then meets an exciting scoundrel and begins to fall in love.
\n

\n
Heroine realizes the scoundrel is “no good” and pushes him away… yet misses him.
\n

\n
The scoundrel redeems himself and the heroine rushes back into his arms.
\n

\n
Heroine transforms scoundrel into a dependable mate. Happily ever after; fade to black.
\n

We might title this character arc ‘taming the untamed man’. It fits well with what we’ve discussed before on the female prerogative to tame males.

Today I’d like to talk a little about this archetypal romance – and how you can construct for a girl you’re seeing a similar adventure that creates a deep and fulfilling romantic story for her.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Giving, Girl, the, Archetypal, Romance", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "125", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/archetypal-romance-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/giving-girl-archetypal-romance", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:08:10", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39485", "lang_id": "1", "title": "[WATCH] Six New GirlsChase.TV Videos (+ What’s Coming)", "title_slug": "watch-six-new-girlschasetv-videos-whats-coming", "title_hash": "7d14a7c8d7dcf52f46725efd98bed0b5", "summary": "Thanks to Tony Depp and Hector Castillo, we continue to have new, great content going up on GirlsChase.TV (with a bit of new video content from me as well!). Here’s what’s gone up on GirlsChase.TV recently… plus a peak at what we have in store.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

Thanks to Tony Depp and Hector Castillo, we continue to have new, great content going up on GirlsChase.TV (with a bit of new video content from me as well!). Here’s what’s gone up on GirlsChase.TV recently… plus a peak at what we have in store.

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", "keywords": "WATCH, Six, New, GirlsChase.TV, Videos, What’s, Coming", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "123", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/sites/default/files/styles/461x320/public/gctv-screenshot-preview.jpg?itok=-b6o13LE", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/watch-six-new-girlschasetv-videos-what-s-coming", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:08:08", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39484", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Influencer Says She Makes Her Boyfriend Pay Rent for Overnight Stays", "title_slug": "influencer-says-she-makes-her-boyfriend-pay-rent-for-overnight-stays", "title_hash": "011a2c2fa8f7c4f09def305221b22891", "summary": "A woman named Marystella ‘Malle’ Gómez from Colombia has caused a big argument by sharing that she asks…", "content": "A woman named Marystella ‘Malle’ Gómez from Colombia has caused a big argument by sharing that she asks…", "keywords": "Influencer, Says, She, Makes, Her, Boyfriend, Pay, Rent, for, Overnight, Stays", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "132", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/image111.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/influencer-makes-boyfriend-pay-rent-for-overnight-stays/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:07:56", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39480", "lang_id": "1", "title": "OkCupid Wants to Erase Your Ex From Your Best Pictures", "title_slug": "okcupid-wants-to-erase-your-ex-from-your-best-pictures", "title_hash": "09d606be69ef390ed4eb3564e268e47a", "summary": "This Dating App Wants to Use AI to Help You Erase Your Ex From Your Pictures", "content": "The Story\r\nHave you ever cut an ex out of a photo to help you get over the painful breakup memories?\r\nIf so, you’re not alone — and dating app OkCupid has just announced a new digital approach to the issue: the Ex-Terminator.\r\nThe Snapshot\r\nPut away your scissors — and your Photoshop tutorial. \r\nRELATED: What She's Thinking After Your Breakup \r\nBy teaming up with an AI photo editing software called Photoroom, OkCupid has produced a handy digital tool for removing an ex from a photo of yourself. \r\n\r\nAccording to a survey OkCupid ran as part of the launch of the Ex-Terminator tool, 62% of women do wish they could erase an ex-partner from a photo of themselves, and over half (53%) of American respondents said yes, they do as well. \r\n\r\nThe Lesson\r\nBreakups suck — there’s no denying that. And like any unpleasant experience, forgetting can be preferable to remembering. \r\nBut is taking intentional, technology-aided steps to alter the souvenirs you have of your memories really the solution? There’s nothing wrong with the time-tested approach of simply taking new pictures and making new memories. \r\nRELATED: Breakup Mistakes to Avoid Making \r\nOkCupid’s PR stunt may be a fascinating use of a brand new technology that raises interesting questions about the way our digital selves intersect with our love lives today, but is it the kind of relationship we want to encourage ourselves and others to have with our memories?\r\nIn any case, the tool doesn’t produce results as clean as the examples you’ll see on the site. So, like much to do with AI, it looks like this one has a ways to go before it can replace genuine human talent — if it ever will. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nPost-Breakup Rules Every Guy Should Try to Follow How to Remain Positive After a Breakup \r\nSigns That Your Ex Has Moved On and Is Over You", "keywords": "OkCupid, Wants, Erase, Your, From, Your, Best, Pictures", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/dating-news/okcupid-wants-to-erase-your-ex-from-your-best-pictures/askmen-lead-image-template-23-1715099137.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/dating-news/okcupid-wants-to-erase-your-ex-from-your-best-pictures.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:07:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39481", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Sunscreens for Men", "title_slug": "best-sunscreens-for-men", "title_hash": "c462999d61aec86b109cbf4edc2bf536", "summary": "Okay, so you’ve switched to an organic shampoo and cruelty-free skin care, your diet is absent of any junky fast food, and any sugary cereal in your cupboards has been dutifully replaced with steel-cut oats. Yet, somehow, you’re still stuck to the heavy-duty sunscreens full of chemicals you really only recognize thanks to news about states such as Hawaii banning them.\r\nRELATED: Best Face Sunscreens for Men\r\nYes, it may feel like the more chemicals in the sunscreen, the more you’re able to block out potential sun damage. However, consider this: sunscreen is something you slather all over your body (and hopefully on your face daily) and your skin subsequently absorbs that sunscreen into your body. In other words, your skin is directly absorbing all these chemicals into your bloodstream. That should make you start to consider a sunscreen with fewer chemicals, right?\r\nLuckily, there are some organic sunscreens out on the market right now that are free of toxic chemicals and powerful enough", "content": "Okay, so you’ve switched to an organic shampoo and cruelty-free skin care, your diet is absent of any junky fast food, and any sugary cereal in your cupboards has been dutifully replaced with steel-cut oats. Yet, somehow, you’re still stuck to the heavy-duty sunscreens full of chemicals you really only recognize thanks to news about states such as Hawaii banning them.\r\nRELATED: Best Face Sunscreens for Men\r\nYes, it may feel like the more chemicals in the sunscreen, the more you’re able to block out potential sun damage. However, consider this: sunscreen is something you slather all over your body (and hopefully on your face daily) and your skin subsequently absorbs that sunscreen into your body. In other words, your skin is directly absorbing all these chemicals into your bloodstream. That should make you start to consider a sunscreen with fewer chemicals, right?\r\nLuckily, there are some organic sunscreens out on the market right now that are free of toxic chemicals and powerful enough to protect your skin from the sun’s rays. Now that we’re approaching the hottest season of the year, we’ve lined up our favorite organic sunscreens to help you prep for the dog days of summer.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nWhat Is Sunscreen?\r\n\r\nAccording to SkinCancer.org, sunscreen is a product that combines several ingredients that help prevent the sun’s ultraviolet (UV) radiation from reaching the skin. It’s available in several forms: cream, lotion, spray, gel, foam or stick. In order to qualify as Broad Spectrum, the gold standard in sunscreen, it must block both UVA and UVB rays.\r\nSince the market is flooded with options, choosing one proves to be a difficult challenge, especially since numerous sunscreens contain potentially harmful chemicals. Your best best is to limit or stay away altogether from sunscreens that boast the following ingredients:\r\n\r\n\tOxybenzone: A chemical used by skincare brands to help the lotion further penetrate the skin, Oxybenzone is known to be a hugely common skin allergen and shown to damage or kill delicate coral reefs.\r\n\tOctinoxate: Another common ingredient in sunscreen, Octinoxate acts as a known hormone disruptor, meaning it can send your estrogen and testosterone levels into hyperdrive. Both of these chemicals are often used in daily face sunscreens due to its ability to protect while leaving no white residue. \r\n\tParabens: Thanks to the media, parabens have become the pariah of the skincare world, and for good reason — in large doses, parabens have proven links to breast cancer.\r\n\r\n\r\nHow to Use Sunscreen\r\n\r\nIf you think slathering on in the morning is good enough for a day at the beach, think again. There are steps to using sunscreen properly that will keep your skin protected as long as you need. To get the most out of your UV shield, start by making it part of your daily grooming routine.\r\nHere are the basic steps using sunscreen, which we’ve kept brief and simple:\r\nStep 1: Always apply sunscreen before going outside\r\nStep 2: Use a tablespoon of sunscreen on your face and two ounces on your body (about as much as a full shot glass)\r\nStep 3: Apply sunscreen as the final step in your skin care routine\r\nStep 4: Reapply sunscreen every 90-120 minutes\r\nIt’s important to understand that with recent government study showing that certain chemicals in common sunscreens can potentially absorb into your bloodstream — avobenzone, oxybenzone, octocrylene and ecamsule — we focused primarily on natural, physical sunscreen options to keep you, and the coral reefs, safe.\r\nDr. Dennis Gross Lightweight Wrinkle Defense, SPF 30\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nWith a transparent zinc oxide base and fortified with antioxidants, this oil-free, fragrance-free sunscreen provides superior skin protection without leaving you feel like you're covered in cake batter. And because of its emphasis on natural ingredients, it's reef-safe and ideal for people with sensitive skin. Best sunscreen I've ever used!\" – Chloe-Ana B.\r\n$42 at DrDennisGross.com\r\nBadger Active Mineral Sunscreen, SPF 30\r\n\r\n\r\nBadger’s unscented sunscreen is an all-around performer designed for balance and simplicity. It’s a reef-safe alternative made from 98% certified-organic ingredients such as zinc oxide and Vitamin E, blocking the sun’s harmful rays for full UV protection. You can also sport it for up to 40 minutes in the water. Adding to the eco- and body-friendly vibe, Badger sells all of its sunscreens in eco-friendly packaging and this one happens to be rated the best by EWG with a rating of one. Still need more? This is one of the top rated sunscreen of the year according to the highly anticipated annual sunscreen report from Consumer Reports. \r\n\r\n$17.99 at Amazon.com\r\nVacation Mineral Lotion, SPF 30\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for an invisible grab-and-go type of sunscreen, this is it — literally. It’s so light you won’t even know you have it on, yet it’s packed with the highest concentration of zinc oxide and titanium dioxide on our list at 45%. It not only provides UVA and UVB protection, but also defends skin from pollution and both blue and infrared light. All that combined with how little you need means one of these bad boys will last you quite some time. \r\n$20 at Vacation.inc\r\nDermalogica Invisible Physical Defense Sunscreen, SPF 30\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nAre you someone who refuses to put on sunscreen because you hate or are embarrassed by the residue it often leaves on your skin? Dermalogica's Invisible Physical Defense Sunscreen lives up to its name by blending seamlessly into all skin tones. It also incorporates zinc oxide into its formula, for added protection against blue light and pollution.\r\n$49 at Amazon.com\r\nBare Republic Mineral Sunscreen Spray, SPF 50\r\n\r\n\r\nFortified with aloe and antioxidants, this spray sunscreen has a super subtle scent and goes on easily. Using both zinc oxide and titanium dioxide to provide superior, broad-spectrum protection that stands up to its cream lotion counterparts.\r\n$14.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAll Good Sunstick, SPF 30\r\n\r\nWe all have those easy-to-forget places that, no matter how much sunscreen you apply, they always seem to get burnt. Whether it’s your nose, shoulders or the top of your head for bald guys, All Good has created a product to help those problem spots and combat sun damage. With an SPF of 30, the all-natural sunscreen (the ingredient list only boasts five items) will provide your skin with up to 80 minutes of protection.\r\n$19.99 for 2 at Amazon.com\r\nCOOLA Suncare Sport Face Classic Sunscreen, SPF 50\r\n\r\n\r\nFor the guy who is always dressed in layers and never protects his face when stepping outside, Coola offers one of the best portable sunscreens that money can buy. This one is crafted from certified organic ingredients and rich in antioxidants that balance moisture and reduce redness. The white tea scent is pleasant on the nose, killing the myth that all sunscreens have to smell bad.\r\n$32 at Amazon.com\r\nSupergoop 100% Mineral Sunscreen Mist, SPF 30\r\n\r\nSunscreen shouldn’t act only as a barrier to the sun – since the product is going directly onto your skin, shouldn’t it have some healing properties as well? That’s exactly what Supergoop had in mind when they concocted their sunscreen mist. Infused with antioxidants (like Vitamin C), the spray will leave your skin feeling noticeably more refreshed and hydrated. With an SPF 50 formula, your body will be well-guarded from any sun damage.\r\n$36 at Supergoop.com\r\nJack Black Water-Resistant Sunscreen, SPF 45\r\n\r\n\r\nJack Black’s sunscreen products are designed with outdoor summer activities in mind. This water- and sweat-resistant formula will withstand any sunny-day soccer game or romp at the beach. In addition, the oil-resistant formula won’t leave any greasy residue on your skin. Its fast-absorption rate is another bonus, moisturizing and protecting skin instantly.\r\n$24 at Amazon.com\r\nCoppertone Sport Mineral, SPF 30\r\n\r\n\r\nPlaying sports outdoors under the scorching sun can pose a serious problem, and most sunscreens aren't up to the challenge. Thankfully, Coppertone Sport is specially formulated to stay on your skin despite your perspiration working overdrive to keep you cool. It's also infused with moisturizers and vitamin E, to maximize your skin's antioxidant defense against UV rays.\r\n$7.99 at Amazon.com\r\nLa Roche-Posay Anthelios, SPF 50\r\n\r\n\r\nA lightweight, mineral-based formula loaded with UVA and UVB protection, this lightweight sunscreen liquid does a solid job of safeguarding skin from sun damage. It absorbs quickly and spreads smoothly across skin, leaving no white streaks behind. The SPF 50 rating ensures an adequately high level of protection from the sun.\r\n$37.99 at Amazon.com\r\nEltaMD UV Clear Broad-Spectrum, SPF 46\r\n\r\n\r\nAcne and sunscreen may not always play well together in a grooming routine, but even for the trickiest of skin, The Skin Cancer Foundation even recommended EltaMD has been shown to improve breakouts, rosacea and discoloration. This mineral-based daily face sunscreen uses 9% transparent zinc oxide to protect and niacinamide, hyaluronic acid and lactic acid to keep skin clear and healthy.\r\n$45 at Amazon.com\r\nISDIN Eryfotona Actinica Sun Damage Protection, SPF 50\r\n\r\n\r\nA little of this lightweight liquid goes a long way. Formulated with DNA repairsomes to help repair previous sun-induced damage and vitamin E to protect against environmental damage, apply the equivalent of 2 finger-lengths, according to the directions on their website to provide all the coverage you’ll need.\r\n$70 at Amazon.com\r\nPerricone MD Face Finishing Moisturizer Broad Spectrum, SPF 30\r\n\r\n\r\nNo, this is not makeup. This is actually one of the best tinted sunscreens for men who don’t want to wear makeup. Using titanium dioxide to provide an SPF of 30, this universal tint goes on so smooth you only know you’re wearing it because you skin looks just about perfect. Think of it like an Instagram filter for your face, but in real life.\r\n$47.40 at Amazon.com\r\nColorescience Brush-On Sunscreen Mineral Powder, SPF 50\r\n\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for an invisible grab-and-go type of sunscreen, this is it — literally. It’s so light you won’t even know you have it on, yet it’s packed with the highest concentration of zinc oxide and titanium dioxide on our list at 45%. It not only provides UVA and UVB protection, but also defends skin from pollution and both blue and infrared light. All that combined with how little you need means one of these bad boys will last you quite some time. \r\n$69 at Amazon.com\r\nBear in mind that not every situation calls for sunscreen. According to Skincancer.org, sitting in the sun for 10-15 minutes without any protection can provide the body more than enough Vitamin D. This can also cause some DNA damage, so consider slathering some on your arms and legs before stepping out in scorching conditions.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tHow to Actually Heal Your Sunburn\r\n\tBest Body Sunscreens for Men\r\n\tBest Self Tanner for Men", "keywords": "Best, Sunscreens, for, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "206", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/skin/best-sunscreens-for-men/askmen-lead-image-template-1715193486.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/skin/best-sunscreens-for-men.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:07:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39482", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Does Sex Feel Like?", "title_slug": "what-does-sex-feel-like", "title_hash": "bc7dad0d32cda5ee3519425994ff6ae1", "summary": "We Asked Real Couples About the Sensations of Both Good & Bad Sex", "content": "If you’ve never had sex before, or if it's been a long time, or if you're just not very experienced, it’s more than understandable that you’re curious about the sensation of having sex. \r\nWhen people talk about sex, after all, they always seem to make a big deal about it. If you believe what you hear from pop culture and contemporary discourse, sex is something powerful, meaningful and romantic; it’s also something addictive, sinful and dirty. \r\nRELATED: Most Common Male Sex Fantasies \r\nFrustratingly, forces in society seem intent on pushing people towards sex (the way people make fun of virgins and glorify studs) and away from it (engaging in “slut-shaming,” and blocking young people from accessing sexy materials or even sexual health information). \r\nSo if you still haven’t had sex for the first time — whether penetrative or not — with someone else, it’s totally normal and natural that you want to know more about it. (Of course, if you’re not especially curious, that’s fine too! Everyone has their own unique relationship to sex, and yours doesn’t need to be the same as anyone else’s.)\r\nIn any case, sex can be hard to describe. Like knowing when you’re really in love with someone, it’s kind of one of those things you need to experience to properly understand. \r\nBut until you get there, AskMen spoke to several people about what sex feels like, physically and emotionally, to help give you a clearer picture — when it’s good, when it’s bad, and when it’s just plain sex. \r\n\r\nWhat Sex Feels Like\r\n\r\nAn Awesome Physical Sensation\r\n\r\nIt’s like when your parents tell you to hold onto your pee on a long car ride and you just want to burst. When you finally do, it’s a mix of satisfaction and relief. - Nathan, 32\r\n\r\nThe reason we engage in sex is that it feels nice. In fact, the closest thing to a real description of sex — considering that it can encompass penile penetration, oral, fingering and hand jobs, and various other acts — might simply be “two (or more) people touching each other’s bodies in ways that feel nice, where at least one set of genitals is involved.” \r\nYour clothes can be on or off, it can be light or dark, inside or outside. It can produce lots of orgasms, or none at all. Any genders can be involved; it can last for a few seconds or for hours and hours. But the one constant is that it should produce a physical sensation you enjoy — like the one Nathan describes here, of orgasm being a form of beautiful release. \r\nWarm and Messy\r\n\r\nBeing inside someone else’s body is a fascinating experience. When you’re aroused and in the moment you just feel this incredible pull to be as close to your partner as possible. And the sensation on your penis of feeling a warm and wet vagina around it, pressing on it, causing that friction, is just amazing. - Eric, 35\r\n\r\nIn part because human bodies are warm, sex is, well, warm. And it can also get a bit messy. Not least because good sex requires lubrication — whether that’s saliva, vaginal fluids or an artificial lubricant — there’s at least a little bit of wetness and mess to be expected, to say nothing of the sweat that you can work up during a vigorous bout of it — or if one or more participants ejaculate. Let’s just say that showering afterwards isn’t a terrible idea. \r\nA Lot of Different Things\r\n\r\nI wish I knew as a young person that sex isn't just penis-in-vagina. The writer Esther Perel has this really expansive view of sex that she talks about in her work — how sex can include erotic moments. Which includes a very wide range of interactions and feelings and encounters. This could mean that you “have sex” before a certain traditional threshold is reached. It’s very freeing to view sex that way, and I wish I had known that when I was younger! - Yuan, 32\r\n\r\nNot to belabor the point, but sex is really more than just penis-in-vagina, or penis-in-anus, penetration. Sex can also be a handjob, a blowjob, cunnilingus, anilingus, frottage, sensual massaging, a boob-job, and more. From another perspective, it can be sexting or sharing nudes or video-calling to masturbate together. \r\nIf you’re less experienced, you may feel like you haven’t really “had sex” or you can’t fully “know what sex feels like” until you’ve experienced full penetration, because of the societal script that this is the most important form of sex. But that does a disservice to all the other beautiful ways to be sexual with another person, which are equally valid and no less capable of making you feel good. \r\n\r\nWhat Good Sex Feels Like\r\n\r\nThere’s a saying about sex — even when it’s bad, it’s good. That’s a bit tongue in cheek, and, as the next section explores, often untrue, but the underlying point, that it doesn’t need to be spectacular to be enjoyable, exciting or pleasurable, is a valid one. \r\nSo it’s worth considering that all sex that’s not actively unpleasant to one or more participants is fun — but what about sex that rises above that to be incredibly good? What about mind-blowing sex, or life-changing sex? What does especially good sex feel like? \r\nBeing Un-Self-Conscious\r\n\r\nGood sex feels like disappearing into an abyss of non-existence. - Justine, 35\r\n\r\nWhen you’re really enjoying yourself — like, say, if you’re playing your favorite sport, creating art in a way you love, solving a problem in a cool way — the rest of the world sort of disappears. You forget about all your issues and troubles and you’re 100% in the moment. That’s sort of what happens when you’re having great sex: You enter a kind of ‘flow state’ where your own self-consciousness melts away and you’re fully present. \r\nSadly, not all sex is like this, and even good sex isn’t like this every single second of it! It’s easy to feel awkward or embarrassed at times, even with a long-time partner. But the state that Justine describes is an awesome experience that does occur when you and the other person are synced up just right. \r\nExtreme Closeness\r\n\r\nGood sex feels like there’s nothing between you and another person. You feel so close, so connected, so in tune. There’s something incredibly beautiful about that. - Adam, 34\r\n\r\nSpeaking of syncing up — good sex can also be a transcendental moment of closeness with another person, where the boundaries between you feel like they’ve dissolved completely. \r\nThough you don’t need to be in love with someone to have good sex with them, good sex can produce a euphoric feeling of closeness and tenderness towards the other person that can feel, in the moment, a lot like love. That’s probably in part a question of the chemicals our brains release during sex, but that doesn’t make it any less powerful of a feeling. \r\nBeing Vulnerable\r\n\r\nGood sex feels like purposeful vulnerability in a really beautiful way. You’re trusting someone, ultimately, and trusting that they care about your pleasure as much as you do. It can be scary for that reason, but also gratifying. - Dessa, 30\r\n\r\nOf course, to a degree, that often depends on whether you can be vulnerable with the other person. You have to trust them, as Dessa points out — trust that you’re both on the same page, looking for the same things and wanting the same pleasure. That’s part of the reason it can be hard (though certainly not impossible) to have great sex with someone who’s a relative stranger. But when you’re brave enough to, open to the moment and to the other person, you have a chance at experiencing a really powerful moment. \r\n\r\nWhat Bad Sex Feels Like\r\n\r\nIt’s important to distinguish between bad sex and sex acts that violate someone’s consent, like rape and assault. Since one of the people involved didn’t agree to what was happening, calling rape or assault sex is privileging the perpetrator’s perspective over the victim’s. \r\nThat being said, it’s possible for sex to be unpleasant, painful, underwhelming or unfulfilling in a variety of ways without anyone’s consent being violated. As great as sex can be when it’s good, it’s not always mind-blowing, and sometimes it’s not even decent. Sometimes it’s kind of bad.\r\nPhysically Painful\r\n\r\nSex isn’t supposed to hurt! I used to think that a little pang of pain and tightness was the vagina’s natural reaction. Now that I am in a non-abusive and healthy relationship, I am realizing that that is so wrong. - Lauren, 22\r\n\r\nSex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, so if it’s hurting, something’s wrong. While often it’s the person being penetrated who will bear the brunt of physical pain in sex, sex can be painful for anyone involved if it’s not being done with care and attentiveness, and if not enough lubrication is being used. \r\nIt’s important to know that, unless you’re enjoying feeling pain (and it’s OK if you are) it’s always acceptable to stop the sex and figure out why it’s feeling painful before proceeding — or simply calling it off entirely to let the hurt person have some relief and so their pain (physical and/or emotional) can be tended to. If you were playing basketball with a friend, you wouldn’t insist on carrying on if one person sprained their ankle, and it’s no different here. \r\nUnderwhelming\r\n\r\nI have a bad habit of thinking of the best sexual experiences I've had while in the midst of having sex. Why can't I just live in the moment rather than have my mind elsewhere? Sex plays a really important role in my psyche. If it's not the best, I'm probably going to be thinking about better times, even if I'm enjoying myself. - Claire, 27\r\n\r\nSometimes our high expectations of sex are simply not being met by the sex that’s happening in the moment. In these situations, people will sometimes let their minds wander to more erotic moments, whether that’s past experiences or simply fantasizing. That can feel weird — you might worry that you’re cheating on the other person in some sense, or simply a bad partner. \r\nRELATED: Things Guys Need to Unlearn About Sex \r\nBut it is normal and something that lots of people experience at one time or another. It may simply be a sign that the sex you’re having isn’t quite meeting your needs or expectations, so if it’s a regular occurrence, you might want to brainstorm ways to have sex that’s more aligned with what you really want. \r\nJust Plain Awkward\r\n\r\nThe first 10 times I had sex were all kind of bad, to be honest. I didn’t know what I was doing, I felt very self-conscious, and I think they produced like maybe two orgasms, total. - Ian, 33\r\n\r\nIf you’re sleeping with a new or relatively new partner and you haven’t figured out what works for the two of you yet, it can be a bit of a drag. In the early going, sex often requires negotiating a variety of different things like the physical realities of two different bodies colliding, getting two people into the same frame of mind at the same time, and so forth. \r\nSome sex is just very meh, and that’s OK. Like anything in life, sex takes some time and experience to get good at. If it’s not Earth-shakingly great the first few times, that’s not a sign that you’re doing anything wrong necessarily — just that you’re not there yet! \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n\r\n\tBest Sex Positions to Improve Your Love Life\r\n\tThe Best Gay Sex Positions, Illustrated\r\n\tThings That Turn Guys Off During Sex", "keywords": "What, Does, Sex, Feel, Like", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "109", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual_experiences/what-does-sex-feel-like/askmen-lead-image-template-1715186713.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual_experiences/what-does-sex-feel-like.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:07:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39483", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Are Biological Age Tests Accurate? Here’s What Doctors Say", "title_slug": "are-biological-age-tests-accurate-heres-what-doctors-say", "title_hash": "f9eca9dfeb33ba4f3c39d0f0ade3c3fd", "summary": "Should You Take a Biological Age Test? Here’s What You Need to Know First", "content": "Anxiety about aging is so common that there’s a term for it now: FOGO, which stands for Fear Of Getting Old. \r\nIn a Pfizer survey of over 2,088 American adults, 87% of participants reported having at least one fear about getting older. But there’s an important distinction to make between your chronological age and your biological age. \r\nWhether you’ve lived on this earth for 20, 30, or 40 years, your body might tell a very different story. That’s where biological age tests come in: they can assess your internal age at the cellular level to help you figure out what aspects of your health you need to work on in order to live a longer life.\r\nPfizer’s survey revealed that most people aren’t actually afraid of dying: the majority of participants’ fears related to a decline in physical ability or memory, or developing chronic illness. But fret not — because many of these issues are actually preventable. \r\nAnd that’s the beauty of these biological age tests. They allow you to take a more proactive, preventative approach to your health — nipping any potential issues in the bud before they bloom into a more serious condition or disease. \r\n“The anti-aging industry is much more than vanity medicine, it truly is trying to figure out the key to longevity and aging gracefully,” explains Dr. Brynna Connor, MD, healthcare ambassador at NorthWestPharmacy.com.\r\nSo, how does a biological age test work? Are these tests accurate? And should you take one? I talked to some medical experts — and even tried taking a test myself — to find out.\r\nHere’s what to know.\r\nRELATED: 10 Aging Myths We Should Stop Believing\r\n\r\nHow Biological Age Tests Work\r\n\r\nToday, you can order a variety of different biological age tests online that will deliver right to your doorstep — but they don’t all work the same.\r\nSome tests examine patterns in DNA methylation. As you age, chemical tags attach to the DNA code, and the patterns of these tags can offer some insight into your biological age.\r\nOther tests look at the average length of telomeres, stretches of DNA that are found at the ends of chromosomes. Telomeres tend to shorten as you get older, says Dr. Greg Hammer, a former professor at Stanford University School of Medicine, pediatric intensive care physician, pediatric anesthesiologist, mindfulness expert, and author of GAIN Without Pain: The Happiness Handbook for Health Care Professionals.\r\n“Though telomere length gives a qualitative assessment of cellular aging, more specific and quantitative application may be a few years off,” he explains.\r\nFinally, other biological age tests rely on blood samples.\r\n“A blood test can provide insight into your biological age by measuring specific biomarkers that are indicative of cellular function and systemic health,” explains Dr. Farhan Malik, MD, owner and senior medical director for Prometheus. “By analyzing blood levels of things like albumin, creatinine, glucose, triglycerides, thyroid hormones, vitamin D, and inflammatory cytokines, the test can assess biological age compared to chronological age.”\r\nFor example, Dr. Malik notes that a 50-year-old with robust vitamin D levels, stable blood sugar, healthy kidney and liver function, and markers of low inflammation may have a biological age of 40. On the other hand, a 50-year-old with insulin resistance, shrinking kidney function, low vitamin D, and increased inflammatory cytokines may show an older biological age of 60. \r\n“These biomarkers paint a picture of true physiological age by integrating information from many body systems,” he tells AskMen. “The blood test provides an objective measure to quantify health status beyond the number of years you've been alive.”\r\n\r\nAre Biological Age Tests Accurate?\r\n\r\n“I’m asked every day about biological age tests,” says Dr. Connor. \r\nShe believes these tests can be very accurate — depending on the type and volume of data they take into account. \r\n“I've used these tests with patients to identify potential areas for intervention and track improvements with lifestyle, diet, or supplement changes intended to slow or reverse biological aging,” says Dr. Malik. “However, the aging process is highly complex and individualized. At best, the currently available commercial tests can provide a rough estimate of certain limited aspects of biological age.”\r\nDr. Neil Paulvin advises using these tests as a guide rather than as gospel. \r\n“This is not an exact science,” he tells AskMen.\r\nIn other words, these tests can’t tell you exactly how long you’ll live — but they can definitely be helpful.\r\n“As with any lab test, biological age results require careful interpretation alongside a holistic view of the individual,” adds Dr. Malik. “A qualified healthcare professional can contextualize the findings and recommend appropriate interventions or lifestyle modifications.”\r\nAccording to Dr. Hammer, these tests are also becoming more accurate over time. \r\n\r\nWhat Are the Benefits of Knowing Your Biological Age?\r\n\r\n“Biological age tests, which assess cellular markers of aging, can provide valuable insights into an individual's overall health status and longevity potential,” says Dr. Malik. “These tests are particularly relevant for individuals with a family history of age-related diseases or those concerned about accelerated aging due to lifestyle factors or environmental exposures.”\r\nFor example, you may want to take a biological age test if you know both of your grandparents had Alzheimer’s, or you’re worried about how your current sedentary lifestyle or smoking habit may be impacting your health.\r\nAccording to Dr. Mert Erogul, MD, a board-certified emergency medicine physician at Maimonides Medical Center, biological age tests can also be useful for testing the value of a particular intervention. Say, for instance, you’re tyring a new diet, exercise routine, medication, or supplement. You could take the biological age test two to six months after you started it to see whether or not it’s benefitting your health.\r\nDr. Hammer advises first considering what you hope to gain from taking a biological age test. Are you only taking the test because you’re curious about how slow or fast you’re aging? And regardless of your intention, are you capable of handling any anxiety that arises if your biological age is older than you thought? \r\nMost importantly, are you willing to make changes to your diet, lifestyle, and other factors for the sake of reversing your biological age? These are some questions to ask yourself before investing in a biological age test.\r\nRELATED: Four Ways Your Body Changes After 30\r\n\r\nWhat It’s Like to Take a Biological Age Test\r\n\r\nI have a family history of multiple diseases, and I’ve also been dealing with some unexplained health symptoms as of late — so I decided to take the Thorne Biological Age Test to gain some insight into the pace at which I’m aging, and which aspects of my health may be suffering. \r\nStudies have shown that our organs age at different rates, and what I liked about the Thorne test is that they offer “age scores” in a number of different categories, including metabolic age, liver age, lipid age, kidney age, and blood age.\r\nHere’s what the test involves. First, I filled out my online health profile, answering questions about my lifestyle, diet, sleep and exercise habits, medical history, and health goals. I then made an appointment at my local Quest Diagnostics. Since a 12-hour fast is required before taking the test, I made an appointment in the morning. \r\nThe blood draw itself was super quick and easy — I was in and out of the office in two to three minutes flat. In just four days, I received an email that my results were ready to review in the online portal.\r\nThorne uses machine learning to analyze biomarkers in your blood. In addition to providing my age scores in the report, the company also offers a detailed improvement plan with personalized diet, exercise, lifestyle, and supplement recommendations.\r\nI’ll admit, I was pretty shocked to find that I’m biologically older by a few years. I work out five days a week, avoid processed foods, generally get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, and eat a balanced diet with plenty of protein, whole grains, fruit, and vegetables. But before I went into a tailspin of existential dread and anxiety, I met with Dr. Nathan Price, Chief Scientific Officer at Thorne, to get a more in-depth analysis of my results.\r\nWhile talking with Dr. Price, I realized that there are a few factors at play here — fortunately, all of which are within my control. \r\nFirst, Dr. Price noted that one key reason I’m biologically older is that my Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) hormone levels are quite low for my age. DHEA plays a crucial role in hormone regulation, and according to Dr. Price, it’s one of the strongest predictors for biological age\r\n“So, that’s a dominant element in determining your results,” he says.\r\nWhen I mentioned that I struggle with managing chronic stress, Dr. Price explained that can have a strong influence on driving DHEA levels down. \r\n“You can also see the effects of stress in the biomarkers relating to your immune system,” he adds, while pointing out that my white blood cell count is a bit low.\r\nIn other words, it turns out that stress is, quite literally, aging me. \r\nThe good news? There are things I can do about it. Dr. Price recommended that I start focusing on stress management practices, getting deep sleep, and seeking out adaptogen supplements, all of which may collectively help to boost my DHEA — thus reversing my biological age.\r\nSomething to keep in mind: there is a degree of variability here, which is why Dr. Price recommends repeat testing. In my report, higher urea nitrogen levels resulted a higher biological kidney age. However, Dr. Price pointed out that dehydration can affect these results — and I barely drank any water at all the morning of my blood draw. \r\nAdditionally, Dr. Price says you’re more likely to have a higher urea nitrogen level if you have a particularly high protein diet, which is the case for me. That doesn’t mean eating higher amounts of protein is bad for you or your kidneys – but it is taxing on your kidneys to process protein, which explains the increased levels of urea nitrogen.\r\n\r\nCan You Reverse Your Body's Biological Age?\r\n\r\nIf, like me, you’re dismayed to find that you’re biologically older — don’t stress. After all, biological age isn’t a fixed number. That’s the whole point of taking these tests — shedding light on potential areas for improvement and empowering you to do something about it.\r\n“Don't be too alarmed by a higher biological age result,” says Dr. Malik. “These tests only provide a snapshot in time and may not reflect changes over an individual's lifespan. While these tests offer clues, a person's overall health and vitality depend on a complex interplay of genetics, lifestyle, and social determinants of health. Biological age is best considered as one data point, rather than a definitive verdict on health status or longevity. Maintaining healthy behaviors and managing risk factors within your control remain the most evidence-based ways to support healthy aging.”\r\nAccording to Dr. Hammer, you may want to consider further testing if you’re concerned about your biological age. Ask your doctor about any specific areas of concern that were highlighted by your test results — such as hormone balance, liver health, or immune function. They may recommend additional tests to identify the root cause of the issue.\r\nAnd don’t be surprised if, after making concerted efforts to support your health, you find that your biological age decreases in a relatively short spam of time, says Dr. Erogul. For instance, a 2024 study found that following a plant-based fasting-mimicking diet for five days per month can reduce your biological age by 2.5 years after just three months.\r\n“The key is to focus on the long game — maintaining good sleep, nutrition, exercise, and stress management over the decades,” adds Dr. Malik. “That will have the biggest impact on your health and longevity. Biological age is not destiny. I've seen many people make small changes to improve their results over time through sustainable lifestyle habits.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nScience Confirms Some People Age Faster Than OthersHigh Levels of Exercise Linked To 9-Year Biological Age AdvantageAt-Home Wellness Kits That Bring the Doctor's Office to You", "keywords": "Are, Biological, Age, Tests, Accurate, Here’s, What, Doctors, Say", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "132", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/fitness/health/are-biological-age-tests-accurate-heres-what-doctors-say/askmen-lead-image-template-25-1715183842.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/fitness/health/biological-age-tests.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:07:53", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39479", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Advanced Sex Positions", "title_slug": "advanced-sex-positions", "title_hash": "7295d800c219d3ef9ae54868c4fed947", "summary": "10 Bedroom Positions for Experts to Pull Off", "content": "10 Bedroom Positions for Experts to Pull Off", "keywords": "Advanced, Sex, Positions", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "122", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2021/10/27-051303-advanced_sex_positions.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_positions/advanced-sex-positions/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-10 11:07:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "39094", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: My Boyfriend’s Confession Is Threatening To Destroy Our Relationship", "title_slug": "true-life-story-my-boyfriends-confession-is-threatening-to-destroy-our-relationship", "title_hash": "67706c9e6132c67bb99ae8759d47627d", "summary": "True Life Story: My Boyfriend’s Confession Is Threatening To Destroy Our Relationship Dear Lively Stones, I am a 42 year old, divorcee. Been divorced for almost 4 years, its not been easy. My ex has moved on. On my own, I feel lonely except for once or twice when I just hung out with one […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: My Boyfriend’s Confession Is Threatening To Destroy Our Relationship

Dear Lively Stones,

I am a 42 year old, divorcee. Been divorced for almost 4 years, its not been easy. My ex has moved on. On my own, I feel lonely except for once or twice when I just hung out with one or two guys. These guys actually want to sleep with a divorced woman but nothing serious like relationship. Sometimes, I cry silently to bed cos am lonely. My kids are grown, the last one is on boarding school while the first two are already in Uni.

Not until late last year, I met Samson (not real name). We met at the gym. I thought it was a casual thing but we kept on going, I enjoyed his company, he is funny and very intelligent, very successful business man. I was shocked he was 40 and not married. He gave excuses that because he was formerly chubby, girls never found him attractive. So, he started seriously exercising. He is still a bit chubby but not that fat like before.

To me, he is ok. I don’t mind a man with a little flesh. Things have been going steady for us and we are happy. My kids love him…and his family loves me. I have told him am not looking to marry to have children cos am done having children and he says he does not mind adopting with a woman who will raise a child with him. We laugh and just say lets see what the future holds. I like his free mindedness.

This guy has not met my family cos I don’t want anyone to judge me or chuk their mouth into the matter. All went well until the day we were discussing this gay and transgender matter. He was of the opinion that some people are actually born that way or forced into that way and sometimes, its hard for them to hide who they are. I was confused. Like, why was he trying to defend these people?

Omo, I argued that no one was born gay or transgender for hours until he now confessed that since he was born, he was never attracted to females but only males. That he had male s3xual partners from the age of 15 years. He said, his uncles started abusing him from that age until he was tired of being abused, scammed, tortured and betrayed, so he stopped having s3xual male partners and decided to focus on the opposite s3x but even the opposite s3x did not accept him cos he was chubby. Then he decided to be celibate until he met me.

If he never told me this, I would never have believed this ….am looking at him and wondering….how can this man say he had s3xual relations with other men? To me, that was an automatic turn off. Since then, I have been giving him cold attitude and he has noticed. He is now accusing me of judging him like other people did in the past. That is why he never talks about his past. He said he is not gay but he knows he once was attracted to same s3x but right now, its best for him to focus on females for his own safety.

Then I asked him if he still feels he can ever have feelings for men in future…he said no because that was too traumatic for him. I have explained to him that he was not born that way, that he was a victim of abuse. He said he knows and that is why he feels empathy for those who are calling themselves gay or transgender…because he knows most of them were abused and made to accept that lifestyle.

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On the other hand, since that conversation, I am beginning to find myself having doubts. He has said if I want to break up with him, its fine but that he has told me everything and I have nothing to worry about. Should I trust him? Should I believe the past is past? Or is this a redflag to run away from? I am a grown woman and truly I don’t care what people will say but personally…someone who used to be attracted to men before….is it not possible for them to still be attracted to men again if opportunity presents itself?

I already feel so sad at the thought of loosing him, he has been nothing but a wonderful friend, companion and lover since we have been together almost going to seven months now. My ex cheated and I could not forgive…this one….my fear is not that he will cheat with another woman but with another man? Am I over thinking it? Please what do you think I should do? I am not that desperate but I actually love this guy…hes been nothing but very good to me.

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Boyfriend’s, Confession, Threatening, Destroy, Our, Relationship", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "142", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/My-Boyfriends-confession.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-my-boyfriends-confession-is-threatening-to-destroy-our-relationship/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-07 04:39:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "38984", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Mother's Day Gift Ideas 2024", "title_slug": "mothers-day-gift-ideas-2024", "title_hash": "6867db2c3c6c9e9e1a65b36d6d99535b", "summary": "Because moms are basically superheroes, we’ve curated the ultimate mega list of Mother’s Day gift ideas to let the moms in your life know how grateful you are for all they’ve done and all they continue to do. Whether you’re shopping for your mom, the OG woman in your life who continues to be your biggest cheerleader, or you’re looking for something for the mother of your children, your wonderful partner and ally who stands by your side as you navigate the wild world of parenthood, we’ve found a gift to match.\r\nRELATED: Cheap Mother's Day Gifts\r\nWhile this year's Mother's Day might be different from those of the past, as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, you can still make it a special day for the moms in your life. \r\n\r\nWhen Is Mother's Day?\r\n\r\nIn case you forgot, Mother's Day falls on Sunday, May 12, this year. If you're still unsure about how you're going to spoil her, don't stress. You have some time to figure it out.\r\n\r\nShopping Tips to Find the Coolest Gift\r\n\r\n\r\n\tBudget: Accord", "content": "Because moms are basically superheroes, we’ve curated the ultimate mega list of Mother’s Day gift ideas to let the moms in your life know how grateful you are for all they’ve done and all they continue to do. Whether you’re shopping for your mom, the OG woman in your life who continues to be your biggest cheerleader, or you’re looking for something for the mother of your children, your wonderful partner and ally who stands by your side as you navigate the wild world of parenthood, we’ve found a gift to match.\r\nRELATED: Cheap Mother's Day Gifts\r\nWhile this year's Mother's Day might be different from those of the past, as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, you can still make it a special day for the moms in your life. \r\n\r\nWhen Is Mother's Day?\r\n\r\nIn case you forgot, Mother's Day falls on Sunday, May 12, this year. If you're still unsure about how you're going to spoil her, don't stress. You have some time to figure it out.\r\n\r\nShopping Tips to Find the Coolest Gift\r\n\r\n\r\n\tBudget: According to the National Retail Federation, the average American spends around $205 on Mother's Day each year. That said, you certainly don't have to spend three figures to give her a gift she'll love. In fact, she would probably prefer thoughtful over flashy. \r\n\tInterests: Think about what she is passionate about before you even begin shopping. If she loves to cook, a specialty cookbook might be right up her alley. If she spends her Sunday mornings doing yoga workouts, a new mat would be perfect. As long as you take her personality into consideration while shopping, it's easy to come up with a thoughtful gift.\r\n\tPersonalized Gift: If you're planning your gift in advance, a personalized Mother’s Day present is one of the ultimate ways to show you care. \r\n\tTime: As a result of the current pandemic, many retailers are experiencing shipping delays. If you want her gift to arrive on time, consider ordering it a little earlier than you typically would.\r\n\r\n\r\nBest Mother's Day Gift Ideas\r\n\r\nAfter spending countless hours scouring the web, here are some of the best-selling and top-rated gift ideas for all different kinds of moms. From jewelry to tech gadgets, perfume to style accessories, every category is covered.\r\nMejuri Organic Pearl Hoops\r\n\r\nPlayful and refined, just like her, these 18K gold-plated earrings with fresh water pearls will elevate her everyday ensemble and blend in effortlessly with her dressier evening looks.\r\n$78 at Mejuri.com\r\nMinted Framed Photos\r\n\r\nA frame featuring a beautiful photograph or collage of photos will always strike the right sentimental chord and make for a perfect Mother's Day gift. Minted’s extensive range of offerings means you can find the setup that’s just for her, too. \r\nPrices vary at Minted.com\r\nBrooklinen Super-Plush Robe\r\n\r\nBring that luxurious hotel experience to her home every day with the perfect present of an ultra-plush robe. Made from 100% Turkish cotton, this Brooklinen design is incredibly cozy and has a nice weight to it.\r\n$99 at Brooklinen.com\r\nFarmgirl Flowers Bouquet\r\n\r\nAs simple as it may seem, picking out a Mother’s Day floral arrangement can be dizzying. Take the stress out of flower shopping and snag her a beautiful bouquet of 25 stems, complete with fun foliage and rustic burlap wrapping.\r\n$79 at FarmgirlFlowers.com\r\nL'Occitane Almond Delicious Hand & Nail Cream\r\n\r\nA good hand cream is not to be underestimated. This creamy balm features a blend of almond oil, almond milk, and shea butter which leaves hands hydrated but never greasy. And the subtle scent of almonds can’t be beaten.\r\n$26 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: First Mother's Day Gifts\r\n\r\nSonos Roam Speaker\r\n\r\nNo matter if she’s lounging by the pool or relaxing in the garden, the Sonos Roam speaker is ready to set the soundtrack. Portable, durable, and waterproof, with up to 10 hours of play time and smart features like voice assistance, this speaker pretty much does it all. \r\n$179 at Sonos.com\r\nlululemon Scuba Oversized Half-Zip Hoodie\r\n\r\n\r\nWhether warming up for an outdoor workout or cooling down post-yoga flow, this super-soft hoodie from lululemon will quickly become mom's go-to athleisure pick. Available in 9 different colors, ranging from green smoked spruce to light blue water drop, you are guaranteed to find one that suits her style.\r\n$118 at lululemon.com\r\nOpen Spaces Large Storage Bins\r\n\r\n\r\nMom not only likes a clean house, but she likes a stylish house too. If that’s the case, she’s going to love Open Spaces. From perfectly sized felted wool under-the-bed storage to out in the open shoe racks, this brand has those little things she never knew she needed. \r\n$78 for two at GetOpenSpaces.com\r\nEcho Show 15 \r\n\r\n\r\nThis past year, in particular, has shown how important video calls are in maintaining connections with loved ones. With the Echo Show she will be able to make video calls, but also watch cooking tutorials, check the news, or securely check in on a connected doorbell camera or baby monitor.\r\n$279.99 at Amazon.com\r\nHurom H-AA Slow Juicer\r\n\r\nYou’ve heard of juicers, but have you heard of slow juicers? This option from Hurom features special technology that allows it to produce juices with more nutrients and a more fresh, natural taste compared to competing options. She’ll also love that it’s easy to clean.\r\n$399 at Hurom.com\r\nMy Sheets Rock ‘The Regulator’\r\n\r\nHelp the busy mom on the go catch Zzzs in comfort with the unique gift of new sheets. Available in a wide range of eye-catching colors and made from the highest-grade bamboo rayon, this design helps to keep the body feeling cool and fresh throughout the night – no matter the season.\r\nFrom $199 at MySheetsRock.com\r\nThe Hill We Climb - Amanda Gorman\r\n\r\nIf you can’t write Mom a poem, give her the gift of one. Featuring Amanda Gorman’s powerful and historic poem “The Hill We Climb: An Inaugural Poem for the Country,” this book is a keepsake she can hold onto for a lifetime.\r\n$9.60 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Gifts for Homebodies\r\n\r\nParachute Classic Turkish Cotton Slippers\r\n\r\n\r\nPool slides with an at-home loungewear twist. These super soft slippers’ padded footbed will keep her feet feeling supported while rubber sole prevents any slips.\r\n$39 at ParachuteHome.com\r\nCorkcicle Wine Tumbler \r\n\r\nThe spring and summer seasons are the ideal time to take happy hour out onto the patio or by the pool. This stemless glass from Corkcicle not only looks sleek and stylish but its triple insulated design helps maintain drink temps.\r\n$23.99 at Amazon.com\r\nSamsung Galaxy Buds 2 Pro\r\n\r\n\r\nWhether she’s running errands or running on the treadmill, a set of wireless Bluetooth earbuds will only improve her experience. These Samsung earbuds not only sound great; they also offer live translation services, which takes a lot of the stress out of traveling.\r\n$159.99 at Amazon.com\r\nScala Cotton Sun Hat\r\n\r\n\r\nSummer is on its way. Help Mom get ready for some fun in the sun with this Scala hat with an inner drawstring and built-in UPF 50+ sun protection.\r\n$36 at Amazon.com\r\nMasterClass\r\n\r\nFrom drumming to dog training, MasterClass has a wide array of expert-led courses in its library. With the gift of an all-access pass, she can partake in any complete class or lesson she’d like for an entire year. \r\nFind out more at MasterClass.com\r\nBobbi Brown Beach Perfume\r\n\r\nEncapsulating that feeling of the beach in a fragrance, this perfume is ideal for the summer season. With notes of jasmine, mandarin, and sea salt, ‘Beach’ is at once fresh and warm.\r\n$85 at Nordstrom.com\r\nHomesick Scented Candle\r\n\r\nIf she can’t travel to her favorite destination at the moment, bring the scent of that spot to her. Homesick candles feature an intoxicating blend of just the right notes to transport you to a given location – and they pack a ton of burn time.\r\n$38 at Amazon.com\r\nAudible Membership\r\n\r\nEven if Mom’s an avid bookworm, who loves nothing more than curling up with a good book, she’s sure to love an Audible membership. Featuring an extensive library of audiobooks across all genres, with many narrations done by the authors themselves or recognizable celebrities, this gift will allow her to experience literature in a new way.\r\nFrom $7.95/month at Audible.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Gifts for Coffee Lovers\r\n\r\nK-Supreme Plus Single Serve Coffee Maker\r\n\r\nMoms deserve only the best, so if you’re opting for something like the gift of caffeine this Mother’s Day, a coffee maker with “supreme” in its name is the only thing that’ll do. Keurig’s K-Supreme Plus is truly a brewing beast, being the first from the brand that delivers on full flavor and aroma with its MultiStream Technology. Not to mention, your mom’s coffee will become customized, whether by strength, temperature setting, or ounces. Mom will forget she ever used anything else once she realizes she’s only a few buttons away from an absolutely perfect cup of Joe in her own home.\r\n$189.99 at Amazon.com\r\nThe Pepper Thai Cookbook - Pepper Teigen\r\n\r\nJust like you, Chrissy Teigen learned a lot from her mom and now Pepper Teigen is taking the spotlight to share some of her favorite Thai-inspired dishes. From Pad Thai Brussels Sprouts to Fried Chicken Larb, there are plenty of options for Mom to add to her recipe repertoire.\r\n$13.60 at Amazon.com\r\nLululemon Double Roller\r\n\r\nIf she loves a good workout, this double roller will be a welcome gift. The outer roller can be used on the arms and legs and the inner grooved roller can be used on the back. \r\n$64 at lululemon.com\r\nPdpaola Bond Silver Bracelet\r\n\r\nGoing the personalized jewelry route? Look no further. This sleek, simple lock charm bracelet – designed to depict unbreakable bonds – is something she can wear daily and the small custom etching will make it all the more special.\r\nFrom $140 at Pdpaola.com\r\nStreaming Service Subscription\r\n\r\nHelp her stay on top of the latest TV, movie, and miniseries hits with a subscription to a streaming service. From Apple TV + and Hulu to Peacock TV, your options are endless.\r\nFrom $9.99 at Apple.com\r\nChappyWrap Hydrangea Blanket\r\n\r\nMovie nights or brisk mornings on the patio are made all the more enjoyable when you’ve got a cozy blanket on hand. This hydrangea-printed pick is lovely to look at, but it’s also incredibly soft and durable, too.\r\n$210.27 at ChappyWrap.com\r\nJeni’s Ice Cream Subscription\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nThis one isn’t going to be a hard sell: Ice. Cream. Delivery. If that isn’t tempting enough to have you reaching for your card, take a peek at the range of flavors: Boston Cream Pie, Churro, Salty Caramel ... need we go on? With a membership to Jeni’s Pint Club, Mom will receive four pints of ice cream every three months. You can’t select the flavors that go in each box, but Jeni’s will include a variety of options every time.\r\n\r\nFrom $199 at Jenis.com\r\nFLORA GUARD 3 Piece Aluminum Garden Tool Set\r\n\r\nFunctional and fashionable this gardening tool set, including a trowel, cultivator, and pruning shear, is bound to be put to good use this summer. While the ergonomic handles prevent hand fatigue, the blades are sturdy and rust-proof. \r\n$16.98 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Best Fitness Gifts for Women\r\n\r\nSteampunk Coffee Subscription\r\n\r\nFew things are worse for a coffee lover than discovering your last bag of beans is empty. The great thing about a coffee subscription is that it ensures you always have a fresh supply of coffee at home, but it can also broaden your brew horizons, allowing you to experience new roasts and flavors. \r\nFrom $16 at StumptownCoffee.com\r\nEO Essential Oils French Lavender Bubble Bath\r\n\r\nCoconut, aloe vera, and lavender essential oil, how can you go wrong? If she loves to cap off an evening with a soak in the tub, this bubble bath will likely become her favorite gift from the day.\r\n$13.99 at EOProducts.com\r\nLe Creuset Kettle\r\n\r\nPrepping tea or French press coffee is about to get a stylish upgrade with this Le Creuset kettle. Made to heat quickly and conveniently, and featuring an ergonomic handle for safe pouring, it will be put to good use throughout the day.\r\n$114.95 at Amazon.com\r\nTurkish Towel\r\n\r\nYou may fawn over the extra-plush neon beach towels you’ve been using since college, but Mom deserves better. Fine-woven, lightweight, and super absorbent, Turkish towels have been a staple Mediterranean homeware for centuries. And thanks to their small size they are easy to tuck inside a beach bag.\r\n\r\n$18.99 at Amazon.com\r\nHU Chocolate Bars, 8-Pack\r\n\r\nYou can never go wrong with the great gift of chocolate. And when there are this many flavors to choose from, the only tough decision will be nailing down a final pick.\r\n$48 (8-Pack) at Amazon.com\r\nApple Watch Series 9\r\n\r\nAn Apple Watch is a splurge gift, but it’s one she’ll use every day for years to come. No matter if she’s keeping tabs on her heart rate and calorie count or calendar and text messages, it will do it all – and do it in style.\r\n$299 at Amazon.com\r\nMelissa Wood Health Fitness Subscription\r\n\r\nCombining elements of meditation, yoga, cardio, and Pilates, Melissa Wood Health’s workouts have become a go-to for fitness enthusiasts over the past year. You can choose to sign Mom up for a month or opt for a full-year membership.\r\nFrom $14.95/month (after 7-day free trial) at MelissaWoodHealth.com \r\nS’well Traveler Water Bottle\r\n\r\n\r\nS'well water bottles come in a slew of different colors and styles so it's easy to find one to suit Mom's taste. Aside from their sleek aesthetic, these bottles actually keep hot drinks hot for 12 hours straight and cold drinks iced to perfection for up to 24 hours. And for a personal touch, you can add her name or initials for an extra $10. If you're after an eye-catching choice, though, we recommend the Azurite option.\r\n\r\n$50 at Swell.com \r\nNCYP Hanging Terrarium\r\n\r\nThere's something fascinating about a living gift that pretty much takes care of itself. The whole concept of the terrarium is that it thrives in its own mini-ecosystem by reusing the water that continuously evaporates and then condensates inside the glass. A cool gift for the mom with a green thumb.\r\n\r\n$24.90 at Amazon.com\r\nEarnest Living Diffuser \r\n\r\nBring the spa experience to her everyday with this diffuser. She can switch up the essential oils to suit her mood and the occasion, and it includes seven different colorful light settings.\r\n$24.99 at Amazon.com\r\nCoach League Belt Bag\r\n\r\n\r\nHelp her keep her hands free and stay on-trend with a belt bag. Made from polished pebble leather, this model looks just as good worn around the waist as it does across\r\n$350 at Coach.com\r\nP&D Metal Works Solid Fire Ring\r\n\r\nHelp the hostess with the mostess take her summer gatherings to the next level with this unique Mother's Day gift idea. This fire ring is easy to assemble and keeps fires well contained, so friends and family can relax by the fire and roast marshmallows without worry.\r\nFrom $159.99 at Cabelas.com\r\nThe mom in your life is sure to love any one of these gifts. Make sure to spoil her, and don’t forget to mark May 12 in your calendar!\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tUnique Mother's Day Gifts\r\n\tMother's Day Delivery Gifts\r\n\tBest Gifts for Your Wife", "keywords": "Mothers, Day, Gift, Ideas, 2024", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "110", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/gifting/mothers_day/mother-s-day-gift-ideas-2020/askmen-lead-image-template-1715003300.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/gifting/mothers_day/mother-s-day-gift-ideas-2020.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-07 04:32:03", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "38983", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Men’s Swim Trunks", "title_slug": "best-mens-swim-trunks", "title_hash": "a29fd872b03f1fee20a1806e3b5d5c5d", "summary": "Upgrade Your Summer Swimwear With These Pool-Ready Trunks", "content": "Summer always leads to a surge in shopping for suitable swim apparel such as sandals, sunscreen and sunglasses. But what is arguably the most important item of your summer supply? Swimming trunks. These can be a pair of mens bikini swimwear, short swim trunks or long board shorts, but every man owes it to himself to have a have a pair of swim shorts not only look good, but make him feel confident.\r\nRELATED: Best Sunscreens for Men\r\nIdeally, you would have a few different styles of swim trunks to alternate depending on your summer mood and destination. Something to keep in mind when making that next investment: if your bathing suit displays a classic cut, you can wear it for many seasons to come, but if you purchase a trend-driven style bathing suit, then you might find yourself tired of it more quickly.\r\nWith all the different beachwear for men out there, we took a good, long look and found some of the best mens swim trunks for summer right now. So pack up the SPF and sunnies, because now you’re officially ready for the beach.\r\n\r\nBest Men's Swimsuits\r\n\r\nRVCA Men's 4-Way Stretch Board Shorts\r\n\r\nThese board shorts boast a drawstring waistband, double-needle stitching and subdued styling, focusing all the attention on your (hopefully tanned & muscled) physique, and we're totally here for it. \r\n$50 at Amazon.com\r\nBonobos Riviera Recycled Swim Trunk\r\n\r\nThis is one of Bonobos’ best-selling styles for a reason. Try the recycled polyester, elastic waist, and drawstring waistband style in a fun summer-themed design and you'll guarantee yourself some admiring glances at the beach.\r\n$89 at Bonobos.com\r\nPsycho Bunny Malta Hydrochromic Swim Shorts\r\n\r\n\r\nThis is one of Psycho Bunny’s more psychedelic prints with a slightly oversized cut. It features a mesh lining and discrete, velcro back pocket. We guarantee you'll be making stylish waves in this swimming trunk.\r\nFrom $107.95 at Amazon.com\r\nChubbies The Cadillacs Short Swim Trunks\r\n\r\n\r\nChubbies bathing suits — and the shorter inseam they provide — seem to be one of the most popular sights on the beach this year.\r\n$69.50 at Chubbies.com\r\nTommy Bahama Naples High Tide Hibiscus 6-Inch Swim Trunks\r\n\r\n\r\nLeave it to ole' Tommy B. to deliver a handsome print reminiscent of an island paradise from days gone by. \r\n$89.50 at TommyBahama.com\r\nVuori Cruise Boardshort\r\n\r\n\r\nVuori's Cruise shorts are literally made from upcycled coconut husks and recycled polyester, so you better believe these versatile shorts work just as well for swim and surf as they do for sunrise sprints along the beach.\r\n$74 at VuoriClothing.com\r\nH&M Patterned Swim Shorts\r\n\r\n\r\nSometimes less is more, and these simple swim shorts from the affordable Swedish superstore check all the stylish boxes by being classic, minimal, and actually made to last. \r\n$19.99 at HM.com\r\nSpeedo Knee Length Marina Volley Swim Trunk\r\n\r\nClean, classic coverage sans any mesh liner. Sure, Speedo swim trunks come in shorter styles (much much shorter styles) but something about the simplicity of this Speedo swimsuit with its cargo pocket works perfectly. \r\nFrom $28.69 at Amazon.com\r\nDandy Del Mar Riviera Swim Short\r\n\r\nThere is something about this handsome mesh liner-lacking leisure style in retro fabric and drawstring closure that always seems to work.\r\n$89 at Huckberry.com\r\nQuiksilver Manic 22\" Length Cargo Pocket Boardshort Swim Trunk\r\n\r\nLooking for a drag suit fit? Modest about your dad bod? About to tackle some major waves? This is the board short for you.\r\nFrom $38.16 at Amazon.com\r\nmaamgic Men’s Swim Trunks\r\n\r\n\r\nYou don’t need to wear American flag swim trunks to show your patriotism. Go after really high marks with a stylish swim trunk like these red, white, and blue short trunks.\r\nFrom $20.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPatagonia Baggies Board Shorts\r\n\r\nIn addition to its 1% for the Planet initiative, Patagonia uses quick drying fabric made of 100% recycled nylon for its best selling Baggies. Why not support an outdoor brand that is trying to support the outdoors?\r\n$65 at Patagonia.com\r\nFrescobol Carioca Copacabana Swim Shorts\r\n\r\nYou can swim in these, but they are more appropriate for those pool-side parties with cocktails and lounge music.\r\n$215 at MrPorter.com\r\nAmazon Essentials Quick Dry Fabric 9\" Men's Swim Shorts\r\n\r\nThere is no way you'll get lost at sea with this pair of safety orange swim trunks. \r\nFrom $7.40 at Amazon.com\r\nSaturdays NYC Timothy Seersucker Swim Short\r\n\r\n\r\nThis is a deeper, darker, different take on the stereotypical summer seersucker.\r\n$220 at SaturdaysNYC.com\r\nBirdwell Beach Britches Boardshorts\r\n\r\nEvery man should own a classic ‘60s-ear board short in a modern, trim fit. If you don’t, let these be your first.\r\n\r\n$85 at Amazon.com\r\nKanu Surf Men's Barracuda Swim Trunks\r\n\r\nThese boardshorts let you flaunt your inner lifeguard, “Baywatch” style.\r\nFrom $15.99 at Amazon.com\r\nNow that you have your swim trunks picked out, go ahead and hit the road. Take a long weekend and get some good mileage out of your new investment.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Wide-Leg Shorts for Men\r\n\t13 Best Skin Care Products for the Summer\r\n\tBest Face Sunscreens for Men", "keywords": "Best, Men’s, Swim, Trunks", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "127", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/best-men-s-swim-trunks/askmen-lead-image-template-1715016999.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/style/fashion_advice/best-men-s-swim-trunks.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-07 04:32:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "38592", "lang_id": "1", "title": "1 Year of Day Game: My Insights", "title_slug": "1-year-of-day-game-my-insights", "title_hash": "d621b0799ebad25c55451577fc3e8b6c", "summary": "After one year of practicing day game, and 14 lays from it, forum member James D. shares his 15 key insights about meeting girls during the daytime.\nThis post, shared by forum member James D, originally appeared here.\n\nI began Chase's approach 4 girls a day challenge on April 9th, 2023.\nThat was one year ago already!\nThought I'd share some insights from my own experience.\nThis won't be anything new. Everything say I say has probably been mentioned on the site before.\nThat said, everyone's experience will differ and you might find something useful in mine.\n\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"15$ After one year of practicing day game, and 14 lays from it, forum member James D. shares his 15 key insights about meeting girls during the daytime.

This post, shared by forum member James D, originally appeared here.

I began Chase's approach 4 girls a day challenge on April 9th, 2023.

That was one year ago already!

Thought I'd share some insights from my own experience.

This won't be anything new. Everything say I say has probably been mentioned on the site before.

That said, everyone's experience will differ and you might find something useful in mine.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": ", Year, Day, Game:, Insights", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "127", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/day-game-insights-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/1-year-day-game-my-insights", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-06 07:55:57", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "38495", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Find Good Parking Spots When Traveling to Sydney", "title_slug": "how-to-find-good-parking-spots-when-traveling-to-sydney", "title_hash": "20363543e967da955f33aae3ba35b13c", "summary": "Visiting Sydney is an adventure. The city’s vibrant streets, iconic landmarks, and bustling atmosphere make it a must-see destination. However, finding a good parking spot in Sydney – or in any major city for that matter – can sometimes feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. For travelers and visitors, this challenge can add an unwanted layer of stress to your Sydney exploration plans. This post is designed to simplify your parking hunt, help you understand the system, share strategies, and reveal some lesser-known spots for securing that prime parking space. Understanding Sydney’s Parking System Sydney operates on a relatively straightforward parking system, divided into various zones and regulations depending on the location and time. Starting with clear signage, these parking rules aim to guide you effectively. When approaching metered parking, which is common in the city, the rates and restrictions are usually displayed prominently. Deciphering Parking Signs The difference b", "content": "

Visiting Sydney is an adventure. The city’s vibrant streets, iconic landmarks, and bustling atmosphere make it a must-see destination. However, finding a good parking spot in Sydney – or in any major city for that matter – can sometimes feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. For travelers and visitors, this challenge can add an unwanted layer of stress to your Sydney exploration plans. This post is designed to simplify your parking hunt, help you understand the system, share strategies, and reveal some lesser-known spots for securing that prime parking space. Understanding Sydney’s Parking System Sydney operates on a relatively straightforward parking system, divided into various zones and regulations depending on the location and time. Starting with clear signage, these parking rules aim to guide you effectively. When approaching metered parking, which is common in the city, the rates and restrictions are usually displayed prominently. Deciphering Parking Signs The difference between having a great day out and receiving a parking fine often lies in understanding parking signs. Sydney’s signs provide detailed information on parking time limits, payment requirements, and any applicable restrictions. It’s crucial to take a moment to read these signs carefully to avoid misunderstandings. Best Practices […]

The post How to Find Good Parking Spots When Traveling to Sydney appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "How, Find, Good, Parking, Spots, When, Traveling, Sydney", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "143", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/sydney1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/find-good-parking-spots-traveling-to-sydney/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-06 07:48:52", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37974", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Parents Everywhere Are Tired: The truth about parenting fatigue", "title_slug": "parents-everywhere-are-tired-the-truth-about-parenting-fatigue", "title_hash": "3116fc8acd245a9518ae1a26240a5b7d", "summary": "\nParenting fatigue is an all too common experience that can cause negative health symptoms and a drop in relationship satisfaction.\nThe post Parents Everywhere Are Tired: The truth about parenting fatigue appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

$\"Parenting$

Parenting fatigue is an all too common experience that can cause negative health symptoms and a drop in relationship satisfaction.

The post Parents Everywhere Are Tired: The truth about parenting fatigue appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Parents, Everywhere, Are, Tired:, The, truth, about, parenting, fatigue", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/GettyImages-1051381408-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/parents-everywhere-are-tired-the-truth-about-parenting-fatigue/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:52:47", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37973", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Kim Kardashian and Odell Beckham Jr. split after 7 months of dating", "title_slug": "kim-kardashian-and-odell-beckham-jr-split-after-7-months-of-dating", "title_hash": "e9242ceb69fb298e8d4a59a858007e6d", "summary": "Kim Kardashian and Odell Beckham Jr have reportedly called it quits. The reality star, 43, and the NFL star, 31, ended their relationship seven months after it was first speculated the pair were dating. Despite their romance fizzling, a source confirmed to Entertainment Tonight on 30 April, that Kardashian and Beckham remain friends. “Kim and Odell have always been open […]", "content": " $\"Kim$

Kim Kardashian and Odell Beckham Jr have reportedly called it quits.

The reality star, 43, and the NFL star, 31, ended their relationship seven months after it was first speculated the pair were dating. Despite their romance fizzling, a source confirmed to Entertainment Tonight on 30 April, that Kardashian and Beckham remain friends.

“Kim and Odell have always been open and honest about their future, whether that be together or separate,” the source told the outlet. “They had a good thing and there aren’t any hard feelings on either side. They started as friends and still are. They will continue to be respectful of each other’s spaces, careers, families, and friends.”

The source added that the Keeping Up With the Kardashians alum is “so busy” and focused on “being a hands-on mom” that she isn’t “putting any pressure” on being in a committed relationship.

Kardashian and Beckham first sparked romance rumours in September 2023. A source previously told E! News that the pair “are friends” and have “mutual friends in common”.

“She’s not seriously dating anyone at the moment but is open to finding love again if she meets the right person. Right now her main focus is on her kids and her businesses,” the outlet reported.

Beckham was previously in a relationship with girlfriend Lauren Wood. The former couple – who went public with their romance in 2019 but reportedly split in early 2023 – welcomed a son together, Zydn, in February 2022. Kardashian shares four children – North, 10, Saint, eight, Chicago, six, and Psalm, four – with ex-husband Kanye West. The two split in February 2021 and finalised their divorce in November 2022.

The reality TV star has been linked to several famous faces since her split from Davidson in 2022 after nine months of dating. Last year, Kardashian was rumoured to be dating retired football player Tom Brady.

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "Kim, Kardashian, and, Odell, Beckham, Jr., split, after, months, dating", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "113", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Kim-Kardashian-and-Odell-Beckham-Jr.-split-after-7-months-of-dating.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/kim-kardashian-and-odell-beckham-jr-split-after-7-months-of-dating/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:52:43", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37972", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Singer Cher, 77, says she prefers younger boyfriends because men her age ‘are all dead’ amid romance with Alexander ‘AE’ Edwards, 38", "title_slug": "singer-cher-77-says-she-prefers-younger-boyfriends-because-men-her-age-are-all-dead-amid-romance-with-alexander-ae-edwards-38", "title_hash": "1123c18c28b36a916687dc014209c509", "summary": "American singer, actress, and TV personality, Cher, has opened up on dating younger men, saying she prefers to have younger boyfriends because all of the men in her age group have died. The 77-year-old, who is currently dating record executive Alexander ‘AE’ Edwards, 38 explained that her rationale for dating younger men is that the older ones were […]", "content": " $\"Singer$

American singer, actress, and TV personality, Cher, has opened up on dating younger men, saying she prefers to have younger boyfriends because all of the men in her age group have died.

The 77-year-old, who is currently dating record executive Alexander ‘AE’ Edwards, 38 explained that her rationale for dating younger men is that the older ones were all intimidated by her personality.

$\"Singer$

According to Cher, she would rather date men from later generations, who ‘were raised by women like me’ and as a result were never scared of her.

‘And the reason I got with young men is because men my age or older – well, now they’re all dead,’ she joked on The Jennifer Hudson Show this week. ‘But before they just never, they were always terrified to approach me.’

She noted that she is ‘really shy when I’m not working,’ and ‘kinda shy around men,’ lowering the chances of her making the first move.

$\"Singer$

Cher has a longtime reputation for dating much younger men, such as Rob Camilletti, whom she dated in 1986 when she was 40 and he was 22.

$\"Singer$

The singer and Alexander first became acquainted at Paris Fashion Week in September 2022, and by that November she confirmed their romance.

When she was trolled on social media because of the age gap, she retorted: ‘LOVE DOESN’T KNOW MATH, IT SEES [hearts].’

Shortly afterwards, she appeared on The Kelly Clarkson Show and spoke about dating a man so much younger than she.

$\"Singer$

‘Well, on paper it’s kind of ridiculous,’ she admitted: ‘But in real life, we get along great. He’s fabulous and I don’t give men qualities that they don’t deserve.’

Cher noted: ‘If I hadn’t met younger men in my life, I would have never had a date, because older men just didn’t like me all that much, do you know what I mean?’

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "Singer, Cher, says, she, prefers, younger, boyfriends, because, men, her, age, ‘are, all, dead’, amid, romance, with, Alexander, ‘AE’, Edwards", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "126", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Singer-Cher-77-says-she-prefers-younger-boyfriends-because-men-her-age-are-all-dead-amid-romance-with-Alexander-AE-Edwards-38.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/singer-cher-77-says-she-prefers-younger-boyfriends-because-men-her-age-are-all-dead-amid-romance-with-alexander-ae-edwards-38/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:52:41", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37817", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Why Cool Guys Are So Unflappable with Girls", "title_slug": "why-cool-guys-are-so-unflappable-with-girls", "title_hash": "ec0e6c3a53b16b128f9b989214e329fd", "summary": "What makes cool guys unflappable with girls… when so many other guys blow their lids? Why do girls have such hard times ‘getting’ to truly cool dudes?\nOver the years, I have been noticing men taking women more and more seriously. The result of this is that men and women alike are both becoming angrier and lonelier.\nIt might seem counterintuitive that women would get angrier and lonelier from men taking them more seriously when women themselves are the ones demanding to be taken seriously. At least, it would seem counterintuitive – IF you were taking women seriously.\nI’ll explain. When a woman says, “You need to take me seriously!” if you react to that in a serious way and say, “Wow, I guess I’d better take her seriously,” you are already taking her seriously, and she is only going to get angrier, and lonelier, and so are you.\nThe right way to respond to a woman doing something emotional is to interpret it as her being perturbed in some emotional way, possibly related to what her actual", "content": "

$\"what$ What makes cool guys unflappable with girls… when so many other guys blow their lids? Why do girls have such hard times ‘getting’ to truly cool dudes?

Over the years, I have been noticing men taking women more and more seriously. The result of this is that men and women alike are both becoming angrier and lonelier.

It might seem counterintuitive that women would get angrier and lonelier from men taking them more seriously when women themselves are the ones demanding to be taken seriously. At least, it would seem counterintuitive – IF you were taking women seriously.

I’ll explain. When a woman says, “You need to take me seriously!” if you react to that in a serious way and say, “Wow, I guess I’d better take her seriously,” you are already taking her seriously, and she is only going to get angrier, and lonelier, and so are you.

The right way to respond to a woman doing something emotional is to interpret it as her being perturbed in some emotional way, possibly related to what her actual words are saying, but most likely not. Any relation that does exist is likely to be tangential or superficial, with the true motivator for her emotion left unvoiced.

Often this is not your problem to solve, but hers. Though you can help her. But NOT by taking her seriously!

Guys who take women seriously take on this huge burden of trying to figure out exactly what women are so exasperated about, then adapt themselves to whatever they think women need, so that they can do the male thing and ‘solve the problem’, based on what the women are saying, as well as whatever they can guess about what the women might actually possibly want, which usually doesn’t actually get them to the real root problem at all, frustrating both the women and themselves.

Cool guys do none of this, though.

Cool guys do something different:

They let a woman’s emotionalism roll right down their backs, with the result being that women are much happier around them, much more at peace, feel much more secure, and do not feel the frustrating isolation they do around men who are taking them seriously.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Why, Cool, Guys, Are, Unflappable, with, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "120", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/cool-guys-unflappable-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/why-cool-guys-are-so-unflappable-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37816", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Post-Field Diagnostics: More Variables", "title_slug": "post-field-diagnostics-more-variables", "title_hash": "872bb9d5288221e8742d354335c9aba6", "summary": "As you analyze your outings once you are out of the field, don’t forget these additional variables: the social frame of the venue, your mood, and more.\nHey guys and welcome back.\n\nContents\nI. Venue Culture and Social Dynamics\n\n\nSocial Frame Problems\n\n\nII. Venue Strategies\n\n\nAssessments\n\n\nIII. Your Mood\nIV. No Excuses\nV. Conclusion\n\nFor the last two weeks, we have been talking about post-field diagnostics. This process involves analyzing our night, to reconstruct and evaluate it to determine what we did, why we did it, and what impact it had. Our goal is to understand the events that occurred, identify what was done correctly and what wasn't, understand why they happened, and decide what steps to take in the future to improve the outcome.\nIn my first installment, I reviewed the basics of post-field diagnostics-what it is and when to do it. Last week, I covered the most critical factors: analyzing the interaction and the social context, and ruling out possible external factors.\nIt's impo", "content": "

$\"more$ As you analyze your outings once you are out of the field, don’t forget these additional variables: the social frame of the venue, your mood, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Contents

I. Venue Culture and Social Dynamics

\n
Social Frame Problems
\n

II. Venue Strategies

\n
Assessments
\n

III. Your Mood

IV. No Excuses

I. The Three Dimensions of Assessment

For the last two weeks, we have been talking about post-field diagnostics. This process involves analyzing our night, to reconstruct and evaluate it to determine what we did, why we did it, and what impact it had. Our goal is to understand the events that occurred, identify what was done correctly and what wasn't, understand why they happened, and decide what steps to take in the future to improve the outcome.

In my first installment, I reviewed the basics of post-field diagnostics-what it is and when to do it. Last week, I covered the most critical factors: analyzing the interaction and the social context, and ruling out possible external factors.

It's important to master the material from the previous two weeks while keeping in mind that today's variables may still be relevant. These variables are overarching and add an additional layer of analysis that can take your post-field diagnostics to the next level.

The three variables are:

\n
#1 Venue culture and social dynamics - Did you fit in? Did you calibrate to the overall vibe and culture there?
\n
\n
#2 Venue strategy - Did you apply the correct strategy for the venue?
\n
\n
#3 Your mood - How did your mood affect your results and strategic choices?
\n

Let's go through each variable.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Post-Field, Diagnostics:, More, Variables", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "126", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/post-field-diagnostics-variables-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/post-field-diagnostics-more-variables", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37815", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Rewarding and Punishing Girls", "title_slug": "rewarding-and-punishing-girls", "title_hash": "175c98c0855909f8fb07a8e56bffd2c5", "summary": "Reward girls to encourage helpful behavior you like. Punish them to discourage unhelpful behavior you dislike. Do both to make your love life much easier.\nNote: this is an old post of mine that guys liked a lot from back in the mASF days. It dates to around mid-2007… so if you notice any stylistic differences here, well, this is coming from a younger and less polished me.\n\nWhether during the initial pickup or in a relationship of any kind with a chick, rewarding and punishing is crucial. A lot of guys will make the mistake of trying to alleviate bad behavior by kissing up to a girl, trying to distract her, or going overboard and getting angry or reactive. None of these are the correct solution for maintaining both your value and your attainability in the interaction or relationship.\nMost guys in the pickup community who are successful at picking up girls recognize the importance of rewarding and punishing during the pickup: if you don't punish bad behavior, she will think you are a pus", "content": "

$\"rewarding$ Reward girls to encourage helpful behavior you like. Punish them to discourage unhelpful behavior you dislike. Do both to make your love life much easier.

Note: this is an old post of mine that guys liked a lot from back in the mASF days. It dates to around mid-2007… so if you notice any stylistic differences here, well, this is coming from a younger and less polished me.

Whether during the initial pickup or in a relationship of any kind with a chick, rewarding and punishing is crucial. A lot of guys will make the mistake of trying to alleviate bad behavior by kissing up to a girl, trying to distract her, or going overboard and getting angry or reactive. None of these are the correct solution for maintaining both your value and your attainability in the interaction or relationship.

Most guys in the pickup community who are successful at picking up girls recognize the importance of rewarding and punishing during the pickup: if you don't punish bad behavior, she will think you are a pushover, lose interest, and blow you out. If you reward good behavior, she will try harder to make you happy and hopefully the night will end with a romp in the sack. Where a lot of guys drop the ball later on is in the relationship stage.

The fact is, most of the guys you will talk to simply don't think of their relationships in terms of mapping a girl to behave the way they want. But it can be done, and it's not terribly difficult - and it will make your relationships that much more enjoyable, supportive, and strong.

So here's a challenge: begin looking at your relationships in these terms. Everything your girl does can be interpreted as either good behavior or bad behavior. If you like what she is doing, you MUST reward her, or else she will likely stop doing it, forget about it, or just think you don't care. If on the other hand you DON'T like what she is doing, you must punish her, or she will keep doing it and lose respect for you all the way.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Rewarding, and, Punishing, Girls", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "142", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/05/rewarding-and-punishing-girls-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/rewarding-and-punishing-girls", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:34", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37813", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Cher, 77, Explains Why She Prefers Dating Younger Men", "title_slug": "cher-77-explains-why-she-prefers-dating-younger-men", "title_hash": "560e5c60da1b7ea46f498e89805ead02", "summary": "American singer and television personality Cher, 77, recently shared her thoughts on why she prefers dating younger men.…", "content": "American singer and television personality Cher, 77, recently shared her thoughts on why she prefers dating younger men.…", "keywords": "Cher, Explains, Why, She, Prefers, Dating, Younger, Men", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "129", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/image.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/cher-77-explains-why-she-prefers-dating-younger-men/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37814", "lang_id": "1", "title": "99-Year-Old Man Divorced Wife of 70 Years After Discovering Secret Love Letters From her Affair 60 Years Ago", "title_slug": "99-year-old-man-divorced-wife-of-70-years-after-discovering-secret-love-letters-from-her-affair-60-years-ago", "title_hash": "b87ef67c34be7338cd4f967bc3dcad38", "summary": "An upset 99-year-old man decided to end his marriage of 77 years because he found out that his…", "content": "An upset 99-year-old man decided to end his marriage of 77 years because he found out that his…", "keywords": "99-Year-Old, Man, Divorced, Wife, Years, After, Discovering, Secret, Love, Letters, From, her, Affair, Years, Ago", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "122", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://cdn-relationshiprules.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/111.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "98", "post_url": "https://www.relrules.com/99-year-old-man-divorces-wife-of-70-years-after-discovering-secret-love-letters-from-her-affair-60-years-ago/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:32", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37811", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How To Have Crazy Sex In The Shower", "title_slug": "how-to-have-crazy-sex-in-the-shower", "title_hash": "78c44d77f9e3ad4cde66b10904776c16", "summary": "Turn on the water, jump in the shower together, and make her wet in more ways than one.", "content": "Of all the things your girlfriend wears — or um, doesn’t wear — her sexiest look is the one that’s the most natural and raw: straight out of the shower, with wet hair and a towel or robe (at most). When you think of the shower, it’s easy to see why it’s an ideal steamy place to get it on: the humidity, the pressure of the water flowing down, the ability to get super hot or surprise with cold, and of course, two naked, wet bodies doesn’t sound bad either. \r\n“For many, there is nothing quite as hot as being in close intimate proximity to your lover with water cascading down both of your bodies,” sex expert Coleen Singer at Sssh.com, says. “It’s a great combination of visual and tactile that is unique to shower sex which makes it such a ‘wet and wild’ sex experience!”\r\nBut the reality of having shower sex is that it can be a little awkward, and yeah, at times, a little difficult to get right. Between the danger of slipping in the shower — which won’t turn anyone on and could actually cause you both to go rushing to the ER — and the tight quarters that mean you’ll need to get creative with your position and movement, shower sex can be hot — but only if done in a way that makes you both comfortable.\r\nHere, sex experts give the best tips for turning those suds on your body into crazy, hot shower sex:\r\n\r\nSet The Scene\r\nThough most will say keeping shower sex pretty short — under 20 minutes — is ideal so you can head on to the bedroom to continue the play, if you want to bring an extra element of seduction to the shower, take the time to set up the scene. “Depending on the layout of your bathroom and shower, try dressing up the room a bit with candles and maybe some incense to set the mood and add some romantic aroma. This adds additional visual and olfactory stimulation which enhances the entire experience,” Singer advises. “In addition to candles and incense, try bringing in some sort of music player into the bathroom and put on some romantic or sexy music that you both enjoy.”\r\nRELATED: Real-Life Threesome Stories Shared by People Who’ve Had One\r\nBetween the steam and the candle light, when she walks into the bathroom, she’ll instantly know what you have in mind and she’ll feel more comfortable with romantic, intimate scene.\r\nLet Her Get In First\r\nFor most men, a big part of what gets them really in the mood — regardless if it’s in the shower or not — is seeing their partner naked. The act of undressing itself can be a stimulating one, and when you throw in hot water and soap and her wet hair, it takes it to a whole new level. Sexual expert and psychologist, Dr. Rachel Needle says to invite her to get in the shower first — while you watch. “Often times you don't fully get to gaze and appreciate how sexy your partners naked body is. The shower is a great time to fully take in how hot your partner is and to give them a chance to gaze at your naked body. You can build the anticipation by having her get in the shower first while you sit on the counter or toilet watching her,” she explains. “Seeing her standing under the warm water, lathering her body in soapy suds while she lets the water run down her body will get your engines going. At this point you can join her in the shower to warm her up.”\r\nGet Soapy With Foreplay\r\nGreat foreplay will always lead to great sex, and gettin’ it on in the shower is no exception. In fact, it can be a time when you actually delay getting everything started so you can enjoy all the new sensations of your two naked, wet bodies together.\r\nRELATED: How to Discuss Having a Threesome\r\nTake time to wash each others bodies, making sure to get soapy and slick. As you clean your partner you will get to explore their whole body, touching places that may be hard to reach in the bedroom,” sexual expert and psychologist, Dr. Melissa Fogel says. “This is also a great opportunity for some hot foreplay. Enjoy the feeling of her soapy breasts against your body as you lather her up, working your way down her body caressing her upper thighs.\r\nGet Hot With Oral Sex\r\nFinding the best position for a stand-up shower or tub is a toughie (we’ll get to that later) — but before you think about intercourse, experts urge couples to really get in the oral sex as much as you can. Why? It’s guaranteed that you’re both clean! “The shower is a great place to take advantage of the fact that you both are fresh and clean by adding some oral action. Take turns dropping to your knees to orally stimulate your partner,” Needle suggests. “One position to do this is to use one hand to hold onto the shower rod while placing the other hand on the wall for balance while standing on the edge of the tub. Using this technique allows the person giving to be able to bend down without having to get on their knees and also allows full access to the lower part of your partner’s body.” \r\nShower sex can also be a place for your girlfriend to give oral sex if it’s usually not her thing, according to certified sexual expert and psychologist, Dawn Michael Ph.D.,. ACS, CSC. “The water is warm, wet and the perfect time to kneel down and give him oral sex. It can make women whom otherwise may find oral sex to be messy or too dry, both of these are taken care of in the shower,” she explains. “Also, when the penis is wet, it is more slippery and easier to suck on. When he does orgasm because the water is warm it can be outside of the mouth or under the tongue and let it come out of the mouth, so no clean up!”\r\nDon’t Be Scared Of Lube\r\nThough it might seem like water would make your girl wetter, Fogel says that it can have the opposite effect and dry her out. “Lube is a great sensation, especially when combined with the sensations of warm water. Be sure to use a silicone-based lube, which is waterproof and won’t wash away,” she says. “A word of caution when using lube: make sure not to spill any; lube is very slippery and you don't want to end up with a sex injury!”\r\nTry These Positions\r\nIf you want to get the most out of the short time you’re in the sex, channel your inner athlete because you’ll mostly be standing up. Singer suggests starting by facing each other, with your girl leaning against the shower while you hold up one or both of your legs (make sure to get your footing right before you grab her so you don’t fall!). “This is highly intimate, brings in the factor of eye contact and also the element of trust — since you’re holding her up,” she explains.\r\nAnother good option, Singer says is doggy style. This one can also be a little less risky if you’re worried about falling in the tub and hitting your bum in a way that — definitely! — doesn’t feel erotic. Have her face the shower wall with both hands planted, so her backside is pushed against your guy. You’ll have the penetration control, and with the added water, you’ll be able to slip-and-slide a lot easier (which will feel awesome for her). \r\nThe Leg Lift\r\nThis position allows for the couple to face each other during shower sex. She leans her back against the wall while you hold her knee in the crook of your elbow. Depending on height, initial penetration may be an issue. At first, you should bend at the knees to gain access. Also, if you both want to enjoy the falling water it is best for the female to lean against the wall with the showerhead.\r\nStanding Doggy\r\nIn this position, the female bends over and clutches the rim of the tub. Her knees should be slightly bent to maintain balance and to absorb some shock. You should hold on to her hips, and occasionally caress her body (along her spine, her abs, her breasts). Again, if you both want to enjoy the water, the female should be facing the faucets. This allows the water to fall on the small of her back and hit your lower torso. The steady stream of water on your jewels will be amazing.\r\nAlternate Standing Doggy\r\nIn this position, she stands facing a wall with her arms raised and pressed against it. Her lower back will have to be arched, thrusting her butt towards you. You can get up close and hold her hands against the wall or you can hold her hips. If you decide to hold her hips, balance becomes your responsibility and you might want to place a foot on the edge of the tub. \r\nOral Obsession\r\nSince you’re both clean and fresh, why not take advantage of it and please each other orally. Either one of you could drop to your knees to please the other, but unlike dry land, you can’t put a pillow under your knees to make the experience more comfortable. I suggest the person receiving stand on the edge of the tub, holding onto the shower rod with one hand and the wall with the other for balance. The person giving may have to bend slightly, but at least they aren’t on their knees. This technique also lends itself to an incredible amount of access to the lower regions. Two points of caution: don’t fall and don’t drown.\r\nMoving Mountains\r\nThe shower definitely lends itself to the opportunity; hopefully your girl is up and down for it too. You have plenty of water and plenty of soapy lube, so go for it. After her breasts and your member are all lathered you’re pretty much set. You might have to try a couple of different positions to decide which you like best. She can go down low, providing a steady place for you or you can go up high, standing on the edge of the tub once again. The advantage of being up high is that she can provide a little more movement and it is more comfortable for all.\r\nIn the case that you don’t know: with the palms of her hands placed on the external portion of her breasts, she pushes towards the middle of her chest; with her fingers she lays a bridge across the crevice, which will keep your member contained below.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nHow to Get Your Partner to Go Down on You More OftenSupercharge Your Sex Life by Figuring Out Your Lust LanguageSex, Dating and Relationship Statistics You Don’t Know", "keywords": "How, Have, Crazy, Sex, The, Shower", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "121", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/05/13-111102-have_crazy_sex_in_the_shower.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/54_love_tip.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37812", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Super Flexible Sex Positions", "title_slug": "super-flexible-sex-positions", "title_hash": "0a401c8db5a79d4ba871d5c3f8629fb0", "summary": "We’ve been having fun missionary style for years — perhaps even decades. Sometimes we shake things up with a touch of doggy-style, maybe messing around in the shower, but there’s always those days we want to take a break from our go-to positions and try something a little out there. We want to go wild, maybe even a little risqué.\r\nIf you are looking to get a bit more acrobatic or a touch more wild, you can start on spins on familiar favorites (love the cowgirl, try the reverse cowgirl!), but that’s not the end of it — there’s also the out-of-control cowgirl, and that one may blow your mind. Some of these positions require you be pretty flexible though; so don’t skip that yoga class this week! They may be for you, they may not be — but finding out will be the fun part!\r\nRELATED: Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life\r\nWe like to consider ourselves to be pretty adventurous, but here are a few contortionist positions we can’t wait to try — that we didn’t even know existed!\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nV", "content": "We’ve been having fun missionary style for years — perhaps even decades. Sometimes we shake things up with a touch of doggy-style, maybe messing around in the shower, but there’s always those days we want to take a break from our go-to positions and try something a little out there. We want to go wild, maybe even a little risqué.\r\nIf you are looking to get a bit more acrobatic or a touch more wild, you can start on spins on familiar favorites (love the cowgirl, try the reverse cowgirl!), but that’s not the end of it — there’s also the out-of-control cowgirl, and that one may blow your mind. Some of these positions require you be pretty flexible though; so don’t skip that yoga class this week! They may be for you, they may not be — but finding out will be the fun part!\r\nRELATED: Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life\r\nWe like to consider ourselves to be pretty adventurous, but here are a few contortionist positions we can’t wait to try — that we didn’t even know existed!\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nViennese Oyster\r\n\r\nThe name pretty much speaks for itself. “The Viennese Oyster requires she place both of her ankles behind her head, fully exposing her vulva and folding her body into the shape of an oyster,” says sexpert Tyomi Morgan, who hosts a weekly video tutorial on educating people about positions. He holds her ankles in place, says Morgan, while she uses her free hands to prevent his body weight from crushing her contorted body. This is great for extra deep penetration.\r\nOut of Control Cowgirl\r\n\r\nYou may have tried the Cowgirl, or the Reverse Cowgirl, but have you tried the Out Of Control Cowgirl? Astroglide's Resident Sexologist Dr. Jess says in this one the man kneels and sits back on his heels, while the woman sits atop him, facing away, to maintain total control, since he can’t thrust with as much power while on his knees.\r\nZen Sex\r\n\r\n“In this position, he lies on his back with his legs out. She gets on top of him, either facing him or facing away,” says Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a marriage, family and sex therapist, and resident sex expert at AdamAndEve. She puts her legs into full lotus (crossed). She can either lean forward on her hands to move her hips up and down, or he can lift her hips up and down from behind.\r\nPile Driver\r\n\r\n“Yet another sex position that requires the contortion of the female partner in a position that is all about domination,” says Morgan. This position is best on a solid surface (maybe a floor padded with a down comforter or a few pillows). To get into the pile driver position, she rolls onto her shoulders with her legs placed together as her toes touch the surface behind her head. He then straddles his inverted partner for penetration. “Looks like a WWE wrestling move if you ask me!” says Morgan.\r\nSpread Eagle\r\n\r\nThe term “spread eagle” has been connected with sex forever, but it’s actually also a position, says Dr. Jess. “She lies on her back with her legs spread wide above her head and her wrists tied to her ankles. He takes total control from between her legs,” says Dr. Jess.\r\nWheelbarrow\r\n\r\nYou are both on your knees in this position, offered by Dr. Kat. “She faces away from you and grabs her ankles with her hands. You keep her steady with your hands under her hips and enter from behind!” she explains.\r\nSnake Charmer\r\n\r\n“Ever had sex while in a headstand? I didn't think so. This fellatio sex position is for the daring couple that wants to take oral sex to another level,” says Morgan. Snake charmer requires him to be positioned in a headstand while she gives him a blowjob. Both of you will need to rely on each other’s upper body strength, so this may be a fun one for fitness lovers to try. It has big payoff: The rush of blood to your head during the headstand heightens the experience of the blowjob. “To get into position, he places his hands on the floor to position himself into a headstand (this position can be used in the middle of the floor with a pillow placed underneath his head for comfort, or against a wall). Once he is in position, she positions herself on her knees to bring her face eye level to her partner’s pelvis to begin her charming performance!” says Morgan.\r\nMonkey Bars\r\n\r\nThis is one you never imagined on the playground. Inspired by the monkey bars of yesteryear, Dr. Jess suggests this wild position, where one partner hangs upside down from a chin-up bar while the other performs oral. Switch things up by taking turns being the one hanging down!\r\nYMCA\r\n\r\n“Cunnilingus barely gets the spotlight it deserves, but in this position the only thing on his mind will be ensuring her satisfaction comes first,” says Morgan. Serving as the female version of \"Snake Charmer,\" this position is called YMCA and requires she be positioned in a headstand with her legs spread eagle, transforming her into a human letter \"Y\"! (Get it?) “To get into this position, he first sits on the floor with his legs parted — a cushion should be placed between his legs for his partner's head to rest comfortably on. Once he is set, he will help her get into position by having her stand in between his legs, kneel, position the center of her head on the pillow between his legs and lift her legs off of the ground and into the \"Y\" shape, using her core strength for balance,” Morgan explains.\r\nAll illustrations by Carlee Ranger.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tThe Best Masturbation Techniques to Try\r\n\t8 Male-Pleasure Sex Positions\r\n\tHow to Have Better Sex Tonight", "keywords": "Super, Flexible, Sex, Positions", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "157", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2022/04/19-014637-super_flexible_sex_positions.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_positions/unreal-sex-positions.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:29", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37808", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Beard Oils", "title_slug": "best-beard-oils", "title_hash": "cb63df8afe990358b9b0aa2e8cccdb17", "summary": "Let’s face it: Your beard hair is a natural trap for all kinds of dirt and bacteria. Not only that, it differs drastically from the fur found on your head, with beards being much more coarser. So, if you’re going to grow one, you owe it to yourself (and anyone around you) to keep it well groomed.\r\nRELATED: Best Beard Products\r\nThat's where beard oils come in. You’ve probably heard about them, but many guys don’t really know why or how they’re used, or where to begin when it comes to choosing one. Will they make your face break out? Why would you slather oil on your face? Read on, and we’ll clear up much more than just your bristles.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nBest Beard Oils of 2024\r\n\r\nCaswell-Massey Heritage Beard Oil\r\n\r\nSometimes, you need a one-stop-shop grooming product that can hydrate and condition a beard. Caswell-Massey’s Heritage Oil does the trick with a soothing mix of citrus, neroli, rosemary, and American Port Orford cedar wood oils combined with an organic argan oil base. If you only have th", "content": "Let’s face it: Your beard hair is a natural trap for all kinds of dirt and bacteria. Not only that, it differs drastically from the fur found on your head, with beards being much more coarser. So, if you’re going to grow one, you owe it to yourself (and anyone around you) to keep it well groomed.\r\nRELATED: Best Beard Products\r\nThat's where beard oils come in. You’ve probably heard about them, but many guys don’t really know why or how they’re used, or where to begin when it comes to choosing one. Will they make your face break out? Why would you slather oil on your face? Read on, and we’ll clear up much more than just your bristles.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nBest Beard Oils of 2024\r\n\r\nCaswell-Massey Heritage Beard Oil\r\n\r\nSometimes, you need a one-stop-shop grooming product that can hydrate and condition a beard. Caswell-Massey’s Heritage Oil does the trick with a soothing mix of citrus, neroli, rosemary, and American Port Orford cedar wood oils combined with an organic argan oil base. If you only have the patience for one beard maintainer, this is it.\r\n$26 at CaswellMassey.com\r\nSky Organics Organic Castor Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nCastor oil is often cited as one of the best oils for for beard growth. But it's not only a beard growth oil. In fact, it's an excellent oil option for those flush with facial hair. Castor oil on its own acts as a wonderful beard care product that acts as a beard conditioner, a beard softener, and a remedy for beard dandruff and a patchy beard. It get's better. Castor oil is one of the best carriers oils, which means it makes your favorite oil in your trusty beard oil kit work even better. Be it jojoba oil, argan oil, almond oil, or even the more DIY beard oil such as shea butter, coconut oil, or olive oil, you can make the most of them by adding just a drop or two of pure castor oil.\r\n$23.95 at Amazon.com\r\nCHI Man Beard Oil\r\n\r\nVitamins A and E help introduce antioxidants into your body and that’s exactly what this beard oil does, but through your mug instead. Your face will benefit from this gentle vitamin infusion with additional moisturizer and a gentle fragrance to wrap it all together. You’ll notice a more supple, softer beard sooner than you think.\r\n$18 at CHI.com\r\nHolly Hall Supply Co. Organic Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nIt’s more popular than ever to seek out organic skincare products with simple ingredients (and for good reason, too). This particular oil features just two ingredients: argan oil and jojoba oil. It’s unscented and offers all of the healthy hair benefits while supporting a small business and avoiding all the marketing fluff.\r\n$14 at Amazon.com\r\nMethod Men Beard Oil\r\n\r\nDermatologist tested for sensitive skin, this vegan and cruelty-free premium beard oil uses avocado, argan, sweat almond, and olive oil to soothe skin irritation and beard itch from daily life. Consider it a lightweight oil that will sooth while moisturizing.\r\n$7.89 for 3 at Amazon.com\r\nPacific Shaving Company Natural Shave Oil\r\nIf you’ve been to a big-box store recently, you’ve seen Pacific Shaving Co. take on more shelf space in the grooming aisle - and that’s because they make great, no-nonsense products. Take their Natural Shave Oil, for example, which not only works in shaving, but also as a beard moisturizer in a pinch. Also, it comes in a portable half-ounce size ideal to throw in a carry-on dopp kit.\r\n$24.99 at Amazon.com\r\nPrimally Pure Old Fashioned Beard Oil\r\n\r\nFor those who loves the aroma of a classic cocktail, you can wear that scent 24/7 with Primally Pure’s bergamot, orange and vetiver-infused beard oil. It’s a refreshing, hydrating break for your scraggly beard in a light oil that won’t weigh it down.\r\n$20 at PrimallyPure.com\r\nOrganiGrowHairCo Beard Beverage\r\n\r\nA dry beard leads to dry skin, which leads to all sorts of discomfort and itchiness while you’re trying to sport full & healthy facial hair. The blend from OrganiGrowHairCo is specifically formulated to help combat dry, flaky beards and may even help minor skin irritation that develops through beard growth.\r\n$24 at OrganiGrowHairCo.com\r\nBevel Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nIs your beard looking a little dull and … unrefined? Adding a couple daily drops of Bevel’s beard oil will help restore that sought after luster and shine. It’s all thanks to a mix of macadamia oil, grapeseed oil and evening primrose in a small container that packs a powerful, restoring punch.\r\n$14.95 at Amazon.com\r\nPort Products Conditioning Beard Absolute\r\n\r\nPort Products' Conditioning Beard Absolute is a faster-absorbing beard oil, which equals more moisturizing and less shine. Some fans say that any excess oil on their hands is a great, quick hair conditioner for a light shine and natural look. Ultimately, it helps with styling and dry skin all wrapped into a very light woodsy smell that isn't overpowering.\r\n$31 at PortProducts.com\r\nBaxter of California Exfoliating Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nBeard oils don’t come cheap, and if you’re spending top dollar on one, then you deserve something that has legs. Baxter’s lightweight formula calms your beard, feeding it botanical extracts for nourishment and shine. No grease or residue. Your skin receives a boost in moisture thanks to the inclusion of natural ingredients such as squalene and vitamin E. The scents of sandalwood, jasmine, and cedar wood are pleasant on the nose as well.\r\n$28 at Amazon.com\r\nCremo Mint Blend Revitalizing Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nGrowing one of these suckers takes time and patience. If you’re one of those guys stuck in the stubble zone at a longer-than-expected time frame, then Cremo has a solution to at least make sporting a shorter beard more tolerable. Its Tea Tree Mint variation numbs ingrown hairs and soothes irritations to rejuvenate both the skin surface and hair follicles. The light scent welcomes hints of spruce, cedar and rosemary wood into the air for the wearer and commoners to enjoy.\r\n$12 at Amazon.com\r\nEvery Man Jack Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nHigh price doesn’t always equate to high performance. Every Man Jack is a prime example, especially when it comes to beard care. Its cedar wood-scented beard oil features an organic composition that outperforms most other upscale offerings. Everything in it comes naturally derived, with little application necessary to keep your beard feeling and smelling refreshed. No dropper or lingering residue to deal with.\r\n$12 at EveryManJack.com\r\nIsola Tobacco + Musk Body Oil\r\n\r\nIf you’re looking for something more animal-friendly, you could do worse than Isola’s just-masculine-enough tobacco and musk scented oil. Although it’s actually a body oil, it contains many of the same ingredients as beard oil and does an equally excellent job of nourishing your beard.\r\n$38 at IsolaBody.com\r\nRELATED: Sneaky Habits That Are Ruining Your Beard\r\nBeardbrand Utility Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nThis oil, from “beard lifestyle”-oriented Beardbrand, seeks to capture the essence of the urban lumberjack with an intoxicating blend of clove, vanilla and grapefruit. Lightweight essential oils leave a pleasant texture on the beard that doesn’t weight it down. The aroma is a masculine one, not too light or overpowering, but just right when applied generously throughout the face. \r\n$36 at Beardbrand.com\r\nScotch Porter Smoothing Beard Serum\r\n\r\nThose familiar with Scotch Porter's beard care collection know the brand’s M.O. for conquering unruly fuzz. This beard serum employs “botanically-infused natural ingredients” to soften hair cuticles and act as a conditioner to seal in moisture to maintain a hydrating facial plane. No dropper makes for ease of application and it even boasts UV protection to protect your face from sun damage, as well as heat and other extreme conditions. \r\n$19.99 at Amazon.com\r\nKing C. Gillette Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile Gillette has been making shaving products, the brand wanted to get back to its roots with the launch of King C. Gillette. So, if you are new to the beard game, an old pro, or you just don't know which beard oil to choose from, starting off with this will set you up for success. Loaded with grape seed oil, macadamia seed oil, evening primrose oil, avocado oil, jojoba seed oil, sweet almond oil, and peppermint oil, your face and beard will be soft and fresh, without feeling greasy of weighed down.\r\n$9.97 at Amazon.com\r\nJack Black Beard Oil\r\n\r\nJack Black’s beard oil contains a list of certified organic natural ingredients designed to bring top-quality beard and skin care directly to your face, including Kalahari melon oil, vitamin E, plum oil, marula oil, brown algae, fatty acids, and carrot extract. The oil is vegan and cruelty-free, often the sign of an oil suitable for sensitive skin. One reviewer, Alex, appreciated the subtlety of this beard oil: “I like the soft nature of the scent and its light notes. It’s not too overpowering and masculine like many other beard oils or hairstyle products.” What does that really mean? “It doesn't overstay its welcome,” he explains.\r\n$28 at Nordstrom.com\r\nBrickell Beard Oil\r\n\r\nThe organic oil features natural ingredients like algae extract and vitamin E to condition the beard, argan oil for its softening, shiny effect, and aloe vera to soothe and treat the skin beneath. It's actually scented with real peppermint, eucalyptus, and lavender essential oils. It can be a bit oily for those with acne-prone skin and like a product that doesn't feel like it adds to the sebum oil on their face already. This is the first beard oil from men’s grooming brand Brickell, which touts its quickly expanding line as being an effective, non-toxic, and scientifically backed.\r\n$25 at Amazon.com\r\nBest Damn Beard Oil By Duke Cannon\r\n\r\nThe best feature of Duke Cannon’s Best Damn Beard Oil is the refreshing, unexpectedly citrusy scent. This could be due to the inclusion of orange essential oil, not to mention ingredients such as apricot kernel oil, jojoba oil, argan oil, cedar wood amber fragrance, rosemary extract, and clove essential oil. As a less greasy option, the organic, natural ingredients, even work for men with sensitive skin.\r\nDuke Cannon is not messing around: a military unit guides their product Research and Development, they give back to veterans, and they market their products to no-nonsense, hardworking men looking for practical, effective, “tactical” grooming products. The company makes massive bars of soap, and the beard oil comes in a nice big three ounce bottle (“3x the size of the competition,” the website notes).\r\n$40 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nV76 Beard Oil\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nA worthy addition to the brand's immaculate collection of hair care products, the V76 Beard Oil is one of the gentler beard applicators engineered to nourish strands and the skin beneath it. Key ingredients, such as saw palmetto and safflower oil, fortifies hair health by enhancing growth and maintaining hydration for a smoother kissing surface. Though much of its appeal comes from the delicate and alluring fragrance it emits, which is derived from blue cedar — a magnetic woody scent with leather accents featured in most of its grooming products. Consider the healthy sheen it leaves behind a bonus.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n$25.79 at Walmart.com\r\n\r\nReuzel Beard Foam\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nLet’s say you want all of the benefits of a beard oil, but in a different application. That’s where Reuzel’s Beard Foam comes in. They repurposed their T4 Tonic blend into a mousse-like consistency that’ll help rein in rogue hairs while adding a nice touch of softness. If you’ve been out on the trail (or just too lazy to shower) for a couple of days, this foam will help deodorize your hair, too.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n$14.95 at Amazon.com\r\n\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tBest Beard Trimmers\r\n\tBest Electric Shavers\r\n\tBest Straight Razors", "keywords": "Best, Beard, Oils", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "130", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-beard-oils-reviewed/askmen-lead-image-template-1714762749.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/grooming/appearance/best-beard-oils-reviewed.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37809", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Last-Minute Mother's Day Gifts 2024", "title_slug": "last-minute-mothers-day-gifts-2024", "title_hash": "31a1cecf4b65bb971b371e578b19a559", "summary": "This happens every year, and trust us, you’re not alone. You see the plethora of Mother’s Day ads everywhere and you think to yourself, “I’ve still got time.” Next thing you know, it’s three days before Mother’s Day and you’re still empty-handed. While panic may be starting to creep in, never fear. We’ve combed the internet to find some of the best last-minute Mother’s Day gifts on the market.\r\nRELATED: Top Mother's Day Gift Ideas\r\nWhile normally you could rely on the fact that many retailers offer two-day, next-day, or even same-day shipping to select areas, this year looks a little different. As a result of the coronavirus pandemic, you can expect a few delays in the shipping process, meaning you should try to get that last-minute order in at least a few days in advance, check for curbside pickup options, and don’t forget about digital gifts and monthly subscription services!\r\nEven though the sand in the hourglass is running out, there’s still time to get the mother(s) in your life a", "content": "This happens every year, and trust us, you’re not alone. You see the plethora of Mother’s Day ads everywhere and you think to yourself, “I’ve still got time.” Next thing you know, it’s three days before Mother’s Day and you’re still empty-handed. While panic may be starting to creep in, never fear. We’ve combed the internet to find some of the best last-minute Mother’s Day gifts on the market.\r\nRELATED: Top Mother's Day Gift Ideas\r\nWhile normally you could rely on the fact that many retailers offer two-day, next-day, or even same-day shipping to select areas, this year looks a little different. As a result of the coronavirus pandemic, you can expect a few delays in the shipping process, meaning you should try to get that last-minute order in at least a few days in advance, check for curbside pickup options, and don’t forget about digital gifts and monthly subscription services!\r\nEven though the sand in the hourglass is running out, there’s still time to get the mother(s) in your life a gift that truly shows her how incredible you think she is. To help you on your hunt, we’ve gathered our favorite products from around the web that are practically available at the snap of a finger.\r\n\r\nTop Last-Minute Mother's Day Gift Ideas\r\n\r\nMichael Kors Pyper Three-Hand Watch\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile she likely pulls out her smartphone to check the time, you can’t beat the look of a classic timepiece. This watch from Michael Kors feels both traditional and sleek, thanks to its rich leather band and gold-tone hands. Ideal for the stylish mom-on-the-go.\r\n$99 at Amazon.com\r\nProFlowers Mother's Day Assortment\r\n\r\nFlowers are a Mother's Day staple for a reason, and when it comes to delivering beautiful, fresh and fragrant bouquets, nobody is more reliable and trustworthy than ProFlower. Best of all, their annual Mother's Day sale is in full force, so you can save big on some of their most popular arrangements.\r\nFrom $32 at ProFlowers.com \r\nMasterClass\r\n\r\nShe taught you everything you know, now, it’s time for you to return the favor. With a MasterClass all-access pass, she can hop in on digital one-on-one lessons with greats from the music industry, gardening, culinary, sports, and more. \r\nFind out more at MasterClass.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Unique Mother's Day Gifts\r\n\r\nHey Horti\r\n\r\nWhether Mom is new to plants or the proud owner of a green thumb, Hey Horti has her covered. Choose from three different subscription types and set her up with plants for the entire year! Each month she will receive a new plant or gardening accessory, but she can cancel or skip a month at any time.\r\nFrom $22 at HeyHorti.com\r\nEcho Show 15\r\n\r\n\r\nNot only can she make video calls and stream TV and movies with this smart speaker, but she can also order products on Amazon, check who’s at the front door or dim the lights via voice command. There's no better way to help mom keep in touch with her family, wherever they are, then to have an Echo Show with voice control close at hand.\r\n$279.99 at Amazon.com\r\nDrink Trade Coffee Subscription Box\r\n\r\nWhether Mom preps her coffee in an automatic drip machine or a Chemex, Drink Trade has a coffee to suit her brewing method and her palate – and all have passed the rigorous testing process. There are a number of subscription options to choose from, too, so you can select a package that suits her needs and your budget. \r\nFind out more at DrinkTrade.com\r\nBook of the Month Subscription\r\n\r\nIs Mom a bibliophile? Help her broaden her literary horizons and discover new authors through a Book of the Month subscription. Every month, she can choose one book from the five given options (all of which are carefully curated to provide members with options that are both trendy and experimental). Gift subscriptions are available for three-, six-, or 12-month periods, and she can skip a month at any time.\r\nFind out more at BookOfTheMonth.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: Cheap Mother's Day Gifts\r\n\r\nVinyl Records\r\n\r\nThere’s something wonderfully sentimental about listening to a record you received from a loved one. If Mom is thrilled that vinyl is back in style, help contribute to her growing collection with a record from arguably one of the greatest female singers of all time, or any one of her other favorite artists.\r\nPrices vary at Amazon.com\r\nMcConnell’s Pint of the Month Club\r\n\r\nYou can prepare to earn the favorite child title after sending Mom this great gift idea for Mother’s Day. With the McConnell’s Pint of the Month club, she will get the inside scoop on all the legendary ice cream brand’s latest flavors and receive three pints every month for three, six, or 12 months.\r\nFrom $144 at McConnells.com\r\nAmazon Fire Stick 4K\r\n\r\n\r\nIf she’s constantly calling you while trying to figure out how to connect to Netflix or YouTube via laptops and HDMI cords, then the Amazon Fire Stick is sure to come in handy. With this device, she can access streaming services such as Hulu and Netflix, in addition to websites and music platforms — think Facebook and Pandora — simply by plugging the Fire Stick into her TV.\r\n$49.99 at Amazon.com\r\nOne Peloton App\r\n\r\nPeloton is so much more than its best-selling bikes, it also has a high-quality fitness app, covering everything from yoga and running to strength training. If Mom loves a good workout, you can be sure she’ll make great use of this app – available on TVs, smartphones, and Apple watches.\r\n$12.99/month at OnePeloton.com\r\nUllo Chill Wine Purifier, Aerator, and Chiller\r\n\r\nAs long as she likes wine, eou really can’t go wrong with this unique gift idea. Made to purify, aerate, and chill, it enhances any white, red, or rose that passes through.\r\n$89.99 at Amazon.com\r\nAudible\r\n\r\nIf she loves diving into a good book, help her take the experience out on the road with an Audible subscription. Each month (the first month is free), she can choose a new audiobook to tune into, the extensive library includes everything from fiction classics like Jane Austen’s Emma, narrated by Emma Thompson, to current non-fiction bestsellers like A Promised Land, narrated by the author: Barack Obama.\r\n$14.95/month (After 30 days free) at Audible.com\r\nUGG Portola Reversible Robe\r\n\r\nIf you really want to pamper her, consider a cozy robe. With an ultra-plush fleece lining, this UGG robe has a hood and pockets for added comfort and functionality. \r\nFrom $78.99 at Amazon.com\r\nStreaming Service Subscription\r\n\r\nNow is the perfect time to catch up on all the TV series, movies, and docs, she’s had on her must-watch list. While she might have a Netflix account, you can help her broaden her streaming horizons with the perfect gift of a streaming service. From HBO and Hulu to Apple TV + there are plenty of options to choose from. \r\nFind out more at Hulu.com\r\nGoldbelly Brunch\r\n\r\nGoldbelly is ready to help you ensure her special day starts off with a delicious Mother's Day brunch. Whether she wants to try cinnamon rolls from Brooklyn, donuts from Chicago, or both, you can have them shipped right to her door.\r\nFrom $35.95 at Goldbelly.com\r\nadidas Women's Adilette Aqua Slide Sandals\r\n\r\nHelp Mom slip into summer in style with the unique gift of a durable slide sandal. Available in 12 different colors, you are sure to find one that reflects her taste.\r\n$23 at Amazon.com\r\nFabletics\r\n\r\nIf, like many of us, Mom has been wearing a lot of athleisure over the past year, she’s likely ready for a refresh. Even if you’re tight for time, you can set her up for a Fabletics subscription and that way she’ll get a new athletic outfit every month – she can skip a month at any time, too.\r\nFrom $49.95 at Fabletics.com\r\nGaiam Essentials Thick Yoga Mat \r\n\r\n\r\nBring a little pizazz to her yoga practice with one of these stylish printed mats from Gaiam Essentials. \r\n$34.28 at Amazon.com\r\nFrench Girl Rose Sea Soak \r\n\r\n\r\nEnhance Mom’s at-home spa routine with these relaxing bath salts from French Girl. Featuring rose and ylang ylang scents, this soaking substance will help your mother unwind and eliminate toxins. It's also available in Mint and Rosemary Mint, if you want to buy her a variety of scents. \r\n$42 at Amazon.com\r\nMelissa Wood Health - Online Fitness Subscription\r\n\r\nIf Mom can’t hit up her yoga and spin classes at the moment, this gift is sure to be a sweet surprise. With workouts ranging from Pilates to low impact treadmill, Melissa Wood Health has something for everyone. You have plenty of options for gifting the subscription, too – options range from one-month to one-year.\r\nFrom $9.99 at MelissaWoodHealth.com\r\nBroadwayHD Subscription\r\n\r\nIf she’s finished bingeing all the latest TV shows and mini series, bring the captivating experience of a Broadway show into her home with a subscription to Broadway HD. Shows include everything from Cats to Into the Woods. \r\n$8.99/month or $99.99/year at BroadwayHD.com\r\n\r\nSee? There’s nothing to panic about. Snag one of these last-minute gifts for Mom and she’ll never suspect you forgot until the last minute.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tAnniversary Gifts for Her\r\n\tFirst Mother's Day Gifts\r\n\tPersonalized Mother's Day Gifts", "keywords": "Last-Minute, Mothers, Day, Gifts, 2024", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "147", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/last-minute-mothers-day-gift-ideas/askmen-lead-image-template-1714741248.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/last-minute-mothers-day-gift-ideas.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37810", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Best Cuddling Positions", "title_slug": "best-cuddling-positions", "title_hash": "a8419d8b14985a9aba856db3243ab027", "summary": "After a session of impassioned and strenuous lovemaking (lasting anywhere from hours to, conservatively, less than a minute), you collapse to the mattress, spent. There's only one thing left to do now — apart from getting a glass of water and/or going to the bathroom — that's right, it's time to cuddle.\r\nBut while most people will agree that post-coital cuddling (or, hell, pre-coital cuddling) is one of the most enjoyable and romantic things you can do with another person, just like fingerprints, faces and pizza topping preferences, everyone's cuddle method is a little different.\r\nSo what are the best cuddling positions? As with sex positions, what works for one person (or one couple) will be wildly inappropriate to another. So here's a list of eight awesome cuddle options for you to try out next time you're getting cozy together.\r\nThe Spoon\r\n\r\nAhh, the classic. If there's such a thing as the vanilla ice cream of cuddling, spooning is it. Though, unlike the missionary position, spoonin", "content": "After a session of impassioned and strenuous lovemaking (lasting anywhere from hours to, conservatively, less than a minute), you collapse to the mattress, spent. There's only one thing left to do now — apart from getting a glass of water and/or going to the bathroom — that's right, it's time to cuddle.\r\nBut while most people will agree that post-coital cuddling (or, hell, pre-coital cuddling) is one of the most enjoyable and romantic things you can do with another person, just like fingerprints, faces and pizza topping preferences, everyone's cuddle method is a little different.\r\nSo what are the best cuddling positions? As with sex positions, what works for one person (or one couple) will be wildly inappropriate to another. So here's a list of eight awesome cuddle options for you to try out next time you're getting cozy together.\r\nThe Spoon\r\n\r\nAhh, the classic. If there's such a thing as the vanilla ice cream of cuddling, spooning is it. Though, unlike the missionary position, spooning doesn't feature the participants facing each other, much like the missionary position, spooning has incredible name recognition and cultural penetration. It has many benefits, like allowing for full-body contact, easily accommodating different partner shapes and sizes, and not forcing you to stare into the other person's eyes the whole time. However, arm positioning can prove tricky, and it can also be a little lonely if you actually were hoping to stare into the other person's eyes the whole time.\r\nThe Magic Flight\r\n\r\nLove spooning but looking for some flexibility? You're in luck! The Magic Flight (so named because it looks like you two are pushing off for a quick trip to the sky) mimics the Spoon from the waist up — but from the waist down, it's much less invasive, as you're free to extend your legs rather than pressing them against your partner's. This is a great option for couples concerned about overheating — over overcrowding. However, if you really want the most pure cuddle per square inch, the classic Spoon might be the way to go.\r\nThe Cradle\r\n\r\nLooking to move away from the whole spoon paradigm? Welcome to the Cradle. This position is great if one of you particularly needs to be lying on your back (whether it's a strong preference of a health issue) and it's also great as an option that allows for face-to-face time without necessarily feeling invasive, since the cradler can always rest their head in the crook of the cradlee's neck. While this distant cousin of the Spoon does offer a fun alternative that's great for couples who prefer a more Dom/sub dynamic even to their cuddling, it's hard to argue that it delivers the pure body contact footage of some of the other cuddle positions.\r\nThe Twist\r\n\r\nIf the Spoon is vanilla, the the Twist has to be chocolate. But like, chocolate with something unexpected in it, like jalapeños, or maca root. The Twist is a raw, passionate cuddle that shoves two people together face-first and demands they hang onto each other for dear life. It's the kind of cuddle that should only be undertaken if you really don't care what the other person's breath smells like. In short, it's intense — but depending on what your couple is like, that might be just what you want.\r\nThe Independent\r\n\r\nThe Independent, meanwhile, is the polar opposite of the Twist — emphasis on polar. Not just because facing away from each other can feel a little cold, but because it's a fantastic option if you want a little bit of cuddle action but not so much as to feel overheated. It's also perfect if you tend to feel more comfortable facing in opposite directions but aren't quite up for the Twist. And it can be useful after an argument, when you want to let the other person know you still love them — just scootch over in that direction a little until your backs are touching. (Of course, talking can also be helpful there.)\r\n\r\nThe Couch Twist\r\n\r\nIt's an unfortunate myth that cuddling necessitates a bed. Some of the best cuddles happen on sofas, couches and even chesterfields (yes, that's a real thing). Befitting the intense nature of the Twist, the Couch Twist is perfect for couples who need to cuddle right freakin' now. No talk of getting up or moving to another room will satisfy these passionate cuddlers, and for that, you kind of have to grudgingly approve. Plus, here, you can get a leg up — literally.\r\nThe Couch Spoon\r\n\r\nPretty much the only position here where either participant could get anything done, the Couch Spoon is ideal for couples who want to cuddle and read (or, more likely, use their phones) at the same time. Well, fear not, compromise is at hand! Simply port your big spoon/little spoon setup from the bedroom to the living room, have the little spoon get between the big spoon's legs, and you're set.\r\nThe Body Heat\r\n\r\nA perfectly sane and flexible midway point between the Twist and the Cradle, the Body Heat allows you to get a bit more or a bit less contact, and a bit more or a bit less face-time, depending on what exactly you both want. Need some space? One partner can shimmy down the other's chest a bit. Want to feel close? Engage those legs — one partner can wrap theirs around the other, or you can intertwine them.\r\nAll illustrations by Carlee Ranger.\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nWhat Women Say & What They Really MeanWhat Is Slut-Shaming? (And Why You Need to Stop Doing It)Here's What Guys Should Know About Sexism", "keywords": "Best, Cuddling, Positions", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "150", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/03/21-032605-best_cuddling_positions.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_positions/best-cuddling-positions.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:39:28", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37679", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Navigating Connected TV Providers: Leading Options in Streaming", "title_slug": "navigating-connected-tv-providers-leading-options-in-streaming", "title_hash": "70d2084af1d12d75e02503bbebb15677", "summary": "As a prominent player in the digital advertising space, connected TV (CTV) allows marketers to reach consumers by streaming content on internet-connected devices like gaming consoles, smart TVs, and streaming media players. Thanks to the growth of connected TV providers, advertisers have abundant options when planning their campaigns. In this guide, we will review some of the top connected TV providers, their benefits and drawbacks, and how marketers can use them to reach their target market effectively. Roku One of the top CTV platforms is Roku, which provides a huge selection of streaming devices and a vast channel and app library. Roku offers advertisers access to a broad and varied audience base with over 50 million active accounts. Features Wide Audience: Roku’s sizable user base makes it a desirable venue for marketers who want to reach a large number of people. Thanks to the platform’s sophisticated targeting options, advertising can target Roku users according to their viewing ", "content": "

As a prominent player in the digital advertising space, connected TV (CTV) allows marketers to reach consumers by streaming content on internet-connected devices like gaming consoles, smart TVs, and streaming media players. Thanks to the growth of connected TV providers, advertisers have abundant options when planning their campaigns. In this guide, we will review some of the top connected TV providers, their benefits and drawbacks, and how marketers can use them to reach their target market effectively. Roku One of the top CTV platforms is Roku, which provides a huge selection of streaming devices and a vast channel and app library. Roku offers advertisers access to a broad and varied audience base with over 50 million active accounts. Features Wide Audience: Roku’s sizable user base makes it a desirable venue for marketers who want to reach a large number of people. Thanks to the platform’s sophisticated targeting options, advertising can target Roku users according to their viewing habits, interests, and demographics. Customization: Advertisers can design unique ad experiences, such as interactive commercials and branded channels, to engage consumers and increase conversions. Amazon Fire TV Another big player in the CTV market is Amazon Fire TV. This service provides access to […]

The post Navigating Connected TV Providers: Leading Options in Streaming appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Navigating, Connected, Providers:, Leading, Options, Streaming", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "140", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Screenshot-2024-04-30-at-09-30-05-Tv-Photos-Download-The-BEST-Free-Tv-Stock-Photos-HD-Images.png", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/navigating-connected-tv-providers-options-streaming/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-05 07:31:51", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37331", "lang_id": "1", "title": "What Is the Difference Between Stonewalling and Gaslighting?", "title_slug": "what-is-the-difference-between-stonewalling-and-gaslighting", "title_hash": "abdfbd0b8685b501b2415d0179c5e34b", "summary": "\nIn any relationship, it’s natural to encounter challenges and conflicts. But what happens when those conflicts turn toxic? Gaslighting and … Continued\nThe post What Is the Difference Between Stonewalling and Gaslighting? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

$\"Couple$

In any relationship, it’s natural to encounter challenges and conflicts. But what happens when those conflicts turn toxic? Gaslighting and … Continued

The post What Is the Difference Between Stonewalling and Gaslighting? appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "What, the, Difference, Between, Stonewalling, and, Gaslighting", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "157", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/GettyImages-1078159308-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-difference-between-stonewalling-and-gaslighting/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-01 15:20:25", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37330", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: My Husband Scammed & Slept With My Neighbor-The Shock Is Slowly Drowning Me", "title_slug": "true-life-story-my-husband-scammed-slept-with-my-neighbor-the-shock-is-slowly-drowning-me", "title_hash": "a04c20a4bbca9481de2794c68737c2d5", "summary": "True Life Story: My Husband Scammed & Slept With My Neighbor-The Shock Is Slowly Drowning Me Dear Lively Stones, I need your advice because I am at a cross road right now. So, my husband and I have two children and I am pregnant with my third child. And yes, I just found out that […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: My Husband Scammed & Slept With My Neighbor-The Shock Is Slowly Drowning Me

Dear Lively Stones,

I need your advice because I am at a cross road right now. So, my husband and I have two children and I am pregnant with my third child. And yes, I just found out that he slept with my neighbor, a single mother, and also scammed her. I first got pregnant in my final year in school and the doctor warned against abortion because I had had 3 prior. So I had a baby but my parents refused the idea of getting married before I graduate. So, I had the baby and finished school. Then my boyfriend and I started planning for wedding while I went for service year.

It was while I was away at service, I found out he was cheating on me. So we cancelled the wedding. We broke up and went our separate ways. But being parents to a lovely son meant we were always in each other’s life. Along the way, he started telling me he was missing me and all that …I believed him cos I was still in love with him. He broke up with the chick he was with and we both got back together.

In the process, I got pregnant again. My parents were furious but they gave us their blessings. We did our traditional marriage and we had our second child after. Things were going fine until I caught my husband and my neighbor’s maid f#cking one day. It was so humiliating. My neighbors were so upset cos they said my husband has been prying on so many young girls in the neighborhood and they had been warning him. I wanted to leave him but he kept begging and everyone in the family kept saying to forgive him since they are kids involved in the marriage.

This scandal was so much that I only agreed to remain in the marriage if we moved out of the apartment. It was too shameful to live in the same compound where everyone was calling your husband a community preeq. So I packed my things and went to live with my inlaws. I asked my husband to let us know when he got a new place, then we would return. A few months later, he told us he had gotten a new place but that the place needed fixing. Every time I called to check on the house, he would say the house was still been fixed.

Finally the house was ready and we went back. On getting back, I was surprised at how much the house looked so beautiful, I was so impressed, I asked him who did all the decorations, he said he got an interior decorator. He made me believe he decorated the house as a way to apologize to me and then he also got me a brand new car as an apology. I was happy. It was not time to put the past behind us.

Or so I thought. It all started when I noticed that one of our neighbors, a single mother was not being friendly with me. There are three families living in the compound, the other family are quite nice whenever we see each other but this woman is not. Anytime we bumped into each other, I would greet her but she would not respond. I told my husband what I observed and he was like, must I greet her cos clearly, the woman does not want to be friends with me. After that, I let her be. Its been almost a year since we have been living in that house and I am pregnant with our third child.

One day, I was going for ante natal and my car would not start. So I called hubby who said he would send someone to check for me but that I should take an uber. So I was standing trying to get an uber when my neighbor, the friendly one saw me. So she offered that her driver take me to wherever I was going. I said no but she insisted. Omo, the driver was a big amebo. Very talkative. He talked about his employer and said I should not be moved by her kindness, that she is a wicked boss.

I tried to maintain my cool but he kept going so I told him, to appreciate his boss who is friendly as against our neighbor who is not. He kept quiet and said, you know why that neighbor is not friendly to you abi? I said, no I don’t. The driver begged me not to mention his name but said that before I moved into the house, the neighbor and my husband were always seen together in our apartment. That it was the neighbor that decorated our house cos she is an interior designer.

That revelation hit me so much anxiety that I told the driver to tell me if thought they were having an affair. The driver said everyone thought my husband was single until I appeared. That it was not only the neighbor that was coming, other women were coming and the women mostly slept over and left the next morning. I swear to God, all through my ante natal, I was so nervous. I was thinking the worst. That my husband and the neighbor had an affair and may still be having one.

I knew if I asked my husband, he would deny, so that evening, I waited for the neighbor to return from work and I went to her apartment. She was shocked to see me at her door…before she could say anything, I asked her…why are you sleeping with my husband? The shock on her face was epic…she opened her mouth and said….I am not sleeping with your husband…your husband lied to me that he was not married…that he has a baby mama….so she never knew about our marriage. That she even decorated the house for free for my husband because she thought they were both an item. That the decoration cost over N6M and my husband paid nothing for it.

I felt so weak and betrayed after hearing this woman talk. It was clear my husband f#cked her and scammed her. She apologized saying she had no idea we were married until I showed up. She said she was desperate cos she had been single for a long time and she fell totally for my husband. Then I asked her if she is still seeing him, she said no but that my husband has not stopped asking her ….she showed me many of his messages he had been sending her….alot she said she deleted before she finally blocked him. This lady is a single mother desperate for love and admitted she foolishly fell for my husband.

Oh God….I cried in front of her…she too cried and was begging me to forgive her that she never knew…I ended up feeling sorry for her more but right now….I am actually vexed, exasperated and feeling very murderous of my husband. We were planning to do court wedding after our 3rd child but right now…I feel like I just entered one chance with a serial cheater…like is this going to be my life now? Does this mean everywhere we go, my husband must disgrace me in front of neighbors? Imagine that so called nice neighbors, all knowing about this and been laughing behind my back? How do I continue to live in this house?

How do I continue to raise children in a home where their father cannot respect their mother to be faithful for once? I really am so upset and disappointed in myself for ever forgiving this man after the first time he cheated…I should have known he could not help himself. I have not been able to confront him since I left the neighbor’s house yesterday…I cried myself to bed…I even took sleeping tablet so I could sleep before hubby returned from work cos I dont want to face him.

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If I faced him, I dont know what I will do…I am five months pregnant…my BP has been going up and down…that is why I have sleeping pills with me but right now…I almost feel suicidal. I need help please…what am I going to do with this man? Is this how my life will be now? Only God knows how many more women are involved with my husband….and I am usually the last to find out…I feel like the whole world is laughing at me…I just want this pain of constant betrayal to go…I feel like ending it but I am so scared of leaving my children….

I am feeling very vulnerable and depressed….please I need your help…I have not been able to get my appetite since yesterday…I have just been using the sleeping pills to drown my sorrows. Please help.

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Husband, Scammed, Slept, With, Neighbor-The, Shock, Slowly, Drowning", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "130", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Husband-Slept-with-my-neighbor.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-my-husband-scammed-slept-with-my-neighbor-the-shock-is-slowly-drowning-me/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-01 15:20:23", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37202", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Tactics Tuesdays: Waving Girls Over", "title_slug": "tactics-tuesdays-waving-girls-over", "title_hash": "4c3b6971c998a940163ff09ce07a3f97", "summary": "When you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.\nCommenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:\nThere's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:\n-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio\n-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded\n-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)\n-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult\n-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection\nI'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper", "content": "

$\"open$ When you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

\n
You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.
\n

\n
You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.
\n

\n
You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.
\n

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

\n\n\n

", "keywords": "Tactics, Tuesdays:, Waving, Girls, Over", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "140", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/04/wave-her-over-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/tactics-tuesdays-waving-girls-over", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-01 11:11:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37201", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Health Benefits of Masturbation", "title_slug": "health-benefits-of-masturbation", "title_hash": "7c4a4b1ad4695d21d83a1f78399ec4ad", "summary": "Masturbation gets a bad rap. \r\nDespite being the source of likely tens of billions of orgasms every year, and primarily occurring in private where it doesn’t bother anyone, it’s still seen as a problem by many. \r\nSome accuse it of being addictive, while others parrot old myths about it having negative effects. \r\nAnd while it is possible to develop potentially unhealthy habits when it comes to self-pleasure, overall, the picture is quite rosy. \r\nRELATED: The Most Popular Masturbation Techniques for Men \r\nThat’s right — these days, doctors and sexologists overwhelmingly agree that masturbation is good for you. And not just in one or two ways, but many. \r\nIn order to get a better understanding of the myriad health benefits of masturbation, both physical and mental, AskMen spoke to a number of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say: \r\n\r\nWhat Is Masturbation?\r\n\r\n“Masturbation refers to the act of self-stimulating one’s genitals, usually in the pursuit of sexual pleasure,” says sex expert ", "content": "Masturbation gets a bad rap. \r\nDespite being the source of likely tens of billions of orgasms every year, and primarily occurring in private where it doesn’t bother anyone, it’s still seen as a problem by many. \r\nSome accuse it of being addictive, while others parrot old myths about it having negative effects. \r\nAnd while it is possible to develop potentially unhealthy habits when it comes to self-pleasure, overall, the picture is quite rosy. \r\nRELATED: The Most Popular Masturbation Techniques for Men \r\nThat’s right — these days, doctors and sexologists overwhelmingly agree that masturbation is good for you. And not just in one or two ways, but many. \r\nIn order to get a better understanding of the myriad health benefits of masturbation, both physical and mental, AskMen spoke to a number of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say: \r\n\r\nWhat Is Masturbation?\r\n\r\n“Masturbation refers to the act of self-stimulating one’s genitals, usually in the pursuit of sexual pleasure,” says sex expert Justin Lehmiller, brand ambassador for ASTROGLIDE.\r\nAs Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, brand ambassador for ASTROGLIDE, points out, this self-stimulation often, but not always, leads to the point of orgasm.\r\nRELATED: What an Orgasm Feels Like and How to Intensify It \r\n“This can look different for different people, as we all experience sexual pleasure differently, but for many people, it can involve stimulating the penis, anus, vulva, or vagina, with their hands or sex toys,” says Rhiannon John, certified sexologist for Bedbible.com. \r\n“Usually, ‘masturbation’ refers to stimulation of the genitals, but it can also include stimulation of other body parts such as the anus or nipples,” says Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy, an AASECT-certified sex educator. “Some refer more broadly to ‘self-pleasure,’ which can include self-massage and other full-body pleasurable activities beyond genital touch.”\r\nRELATED: How to Pleasurably Play With Your Testicles \r\nMasturbation can also be “a great way to get to know your body and what you like in the bedroom so that you can be more informed during partnered sex,” says Anna Richards, sex educator and founder of the erotic ethical porn site FrolicMe.com. “When you are touching yourself, you can try out different techniques and forms of touch so that you can teach a partner how to please you.”\r\n“People masturbate for lots of reasons such as pleasure, enjoyment, fun, and tension release,” says Michelle Forcier, MD, MPH, Health Clinician at FOLX Health. “Some individuals masturbate alone, while others masturbate with a partner. There is no one right way to masturbate. Masturbation is full of personal preferences! Satisfying, consensual sexual activity is a healthy human activity. Masturbation falls into this category.”\r\n\r\nWhy Does Masturbation Have a Bad Reputation?\r\n\r\nDespite masturbation’s many benefits, a “surprisingly large number of people hold negative attitudes toward” it, says Lehmiller. \r\nRELATED: Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing \r\nHowever, there are many different reasons for this, and each person’s viewpoint may be unique. \r\nReligious or Socio-Cultural Beliefs\r\n“In many cases, it is tied to religious beliefs or teachings that hold masturbation to be sinful or immoral,” Lehmiller notes. But “in other cases, it stems from a belief that masturbation is inherently harmful to one’s physical or mental well-being.”\r\n“Negative attitudes toward masturbation can stem from a variety of sources,” Dr. Gonzalez agrees, “including cultural and religious beliefs, social stigma, misinformation and lack of education, gender norms and expectations, psychological factors like shame and guilt, and relationship dynamics.”\r\nSexual Health Misinformation\r\nOther people believe that masturbation is “‘addictive,’ that it depletes their testosterone, and/or that it impairs fertility,” says Lehmiller. “However, what the research shows is that, in general, masturbation is a healthy activity that is typically associated with better (not worse) health outcomes.”\r\nRELATED: Busting Myths About the Risks of “Chronic” Masturbation and More\r\nCultural Messaging\r\n“Negative messages about sex are unfortunately all too present in society, originating from sources like schools, religious institutions, media, and interpersonal relationships,” says John. “Unfortunately, masturbation often falls victim to these messages of shame and guilt.”\r\n“Very often, we may get shaming messages about sex,” says Wendi L. Dumbroff, MA, LPC. “These messages are so important, because they can really impact the sexual being that we are.”\r\nMessaging at Home\r\nEven if you aren’t raised in a cultural context that explicitly condemns self-pleasure or sexual feeling, because masturbation can feel like a deeply private and vulnerable act, any kind of negative messaging at all can have lasting impacts on how you perceive it. \r\nRELATED: How to Overcome Sexual Shame \r\n“Imagine an adolescent who has begun to discover their body, and perhaps a parent accidentally intrudes on their privacy,” says Dumbroff. “The parent’s reaction can say volumes — are they respectful and calmly say they are sorry and leave, do they get angry, do they say something that is embarrassing to the child? We can imagine the impact of each of these situations.”\r\nBeing shamed by family members for self-pleasure is “very common, and some people don’t even remember it because it can happen at very young ages,” says Weiss. \r\nRELATED: What to Do If You're Caught Masturbating\r\nAn Absence of Positive Reinforcement\r\n“In addition, sometimes other people’s silence around masturbation — that is, someone’s family and school not talking about it — is enough to make someone feel negatively about it, as they get the message that it’s too shameful to even talk about, she adds. \r\nUnhealthy Gender Paradigms \r\nThere can also be a gendered component to negative viewpoints around masturbation. \r\nRELATED: How Women Feel About Male Masturbation \r\n“Many men may feel shame over their sexuality more generally because it is painted as predatory in the media and they hear of many men causing harm through sexuality,” Weiss notes. \r\nRichards notes that women, meanwhile, may feel shame around the perception that they’re not ‘supposed’ to masturbate or have sexual urges due to prevailing notions of ‘slut-shaming’ in many societies. \r\nUnpleasant Personal Experiences\r\nAs well, Weiss says, “some people have negative attitudes toward masturbation because they have negative experiences with it, including compulsive porn usage, troubling fantasies, and rushed, unsatisfying sessions where they aren’t really in their bodies.”\r\n“This kind of shame tends to lead to the ‘fast, quiet and quick’ rule when it comes to self-pleasure,” says certified somatic sex educator and founder of Back to the Body, Pamela Madsen, “because we don’t want to get caught or shamed when self-pleasuring.”\r\n\r\nThe Health Benefits of Masturbation\r\n\r\n“Studies specifically examining the link between masturbation frequency and sexual health outcomes are limited, but research suggests it may provide several benefits,” says Dr. Gonzalez. \r\nRELATED: Why You Should Get Yourself a Sex Toy \r\nSo what are those benefits, exactly? In no particular order…\r\nIt Can Be Good for Your Sexual Health\r\nMasturbation may “help boost libido, improving sexual function and desire,” according to John. \r\n“It can also help maintain sexual function and genital health by promoting increased blood flow to the genitals, which can contribute to better erectile function in males and improved vaginal lubrication in females,” says Dr. Gonzalez. \r\nIt Can Be Good for Your Sexual Self\r\n“Regular masturbation can help individuals explore their own bodies and understand their sexual desires and preferences,” says Dr. Gonzalez.\r\nRELATED: How Masturbation Is Great for Your Sex Life \r\nMasturbation “allows us to explore our fantasies,” Madsen agrees. “Masturbation also gives us the opportunity for the kinds of sexual exploration that we may not feel ready to do with a partner yet.”\r\nThat being said, engaging in mutual masturbation with a partner can be sexually fulfilling and exciting in situations where penetrative sex or oral and manual stimulation aren’t options. \r\nIt Can Be Good for Your Overall Health\r\n“Experiencing orgasms and engaging in masturbation have been linked to various health benefits, such as reducing the risk of heart disease, hypertension, and stroke,” says John. \r\nRELATED: What to Know About Men's Heart Health at Every Age \r\nIt Can Be Good for Your Prostate\r\n“For men, in particular, masturbation can be beneficial for prostate health,” says Richards. “One Harvard study found that men who ejaculated 21 or more times per month had 31% lower the risk of prostate cancer than those who ejaculated 4-7 times a month.”\r\nThere is some evidence that prostate massages, “in combination with antibiotics, may help in the treatment of chronic prostatitis,” John agrees. \r\nRELATED: Prostate Health & Cancer Prevention Tips \r\n“Prostate massage involves massaging the prostate gland through the rectum to release prostate fluid,” John explains. “The research is limited, but some doctors may recommend prostate massage as part of a comprehensive treatment plan for chronic prostatitis.”\r\n“While prostate massage can be used as a method of treatment, it can also be a pleasurable experience for some people with prostates,” they add. “The prostate gland is often referred to as the male G-spot, and stimulation of the gland can lead to intense sexual pleasure and more intense orgasms. The sensation of prostate massage is often described as a deep, intense pressure or a fullness sensation.”\r\nIt Can Help You Fall Asleep\r\n“Another benefit many report is that it helps them to fall asleep,” says Lehmiller. \r\n“The release of endorphins during orgasm can induce feelings of relaxation and drowsiness, making it easier for some individuals to fall asleep,” Dr. Gonzalez notes. \r\nRELATED: Understanding the Hidden Connection Between Sleep and Sex \r\n“In particular, the hormone prolactin, which is released after orgasm, is conducive to sleep,” says Richards. “The hormones oxytocin and vasopressin may also play a role in increasing melatonin levels and, therefore, facilitating sleep.”\r\nSo if you’ve ever felt sleepy after sex or masturbation, that’s a big reason why. But there’s more to falling asleep after a late-night jerk-off session than just basic brain chemistry. \r\n“Sleep is so essential for our overall health, so having a natural remedy for promoting it is a very handy benefit of self-pleasure,” Lehmiller adds. \r\nIt Can Offer Pain Relief\r\n“In terms of physical health, orgasms release your body’s natural opioids, which help to relieve pain,” says Richards. “Some people with chronic pain conditions find that masturbation provides pain relief immediately following masturbation, and sometimes throughout the day.”\r\nOrgasms from masturbation also decrease muscle tension, Weiss says, “so some people with chronic headaches or chronic pain experience temporary relief of symptoms after masturbating.”\r\nAs well, she adds, “for some, masturbating regularly actually helps to keep pain at bay in the long term. Since masturbation relaxes the pelvic muscles in particular, some people find that it is helpful for menstrual pain or other forms of pelvic pain.”\r\nIt Can Boost Your Immune System\r\n“There’s also been some research suggesting that masturbation might boost the immune system,” says Richards. “In one study, men who had just masturbated had higher levels of natural killer cells, which can fight cancer and viruses.”\r\n“Research has found that after people masturbate, the number of leukocytes (white blood cells) and natural killer cells increases in their bodies,” Weiss agrees. “These cells help to fight off infections.”\r\nSo, she notes, “while masturbation isn’t a cure for any illness, it may decrease your chances of getting sick, the severity of an illness, or the amount of time it takes to recover.\r\nIt Can Relieve Stress\r\n“One of the biggest reported benefits of masturbation is stress relief,” says Lehmiller. “Many people find it to be a helpful way of relaxing and relieving tension.”\r\nThat’s because there’s evidence to show that sexual pleasure “releases endorphins that can relieve stress and improve mood,” says Weiss. “Some people like to masturbate as a break from the workday when they’re feeling burnt out so that they can feel refreshed and get back to work.”\r\n“For some, it can even be a meditative experience, allowing their mind to rest,” she adds. \r\nIt Can Feel Incredibly Pleasurable\r\nLife can be hard! In a world that often seems like it’s designed to beat people down, taking time to explore your own pleasure can be a meaningful act. \r\n“Masturbation just feels good!,” says Madsen. “Pleasure is healing.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nThe Best Masturbation Toys for Men How to Create a Homemade FleshlightDoes Your Girlfriend Masturbate?", "keywords": "Health, Benefits, Masturbation", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "148", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/news/sports/the-health-benefits-of-masturbation/askmen-lead-image-template-21-1714529980.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/news/sports/the-health-benefits-of-masturbation.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-01 11:11:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37200", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Dating Conversation Turnoffs", "title_slug": "dating-conversation-turnoffs", "title_hash": "c8602162ef33fb616dc0851af689c237", "summary": "The early stages of dating are fraught times. \r\nWhile they can be full of excitement and intense feelings of happiness, until you know someone well, you also can’t know for sure what’ll make them change their minds about you. \r\nWhether you’re having a first conversation after matching on a dating app or you’re going on your second or third in-person date together, before your interactions solidify into a real relationship, there’s still lots of time to turn someone off by doing or saying the wrong thing. \r\nAnd, if you talk to people who date men, they’ll tell you that guys often seem like they’re jumping at the chance to put their foot in their mouths. \r\nRELATED: Things You Shouldn't Say on a First Date \r\nSo in order to help you avoid the most common pitfalls when it comes to dating conversation turnoffs, AskMen spoke to a handful of dating experts, as well as people who date men. Here’s what they had to say: \r\nBeing Stuck in the Past\r\nIt can be hard to get over an ex-partner for a var", "content": "The early stages of dating are fraught times. \r\nWhile they can be full of excitement and intense feelings of happiness, until you know someone well, you also can’t know for sure what’ll make them change their minds about you. \r\nWhether you’re having a first conversation after matching on a dating app or you’re going on your second or third in-person date together, before your interactions solidify into a real relationship, there’s still lots of time to turn someone off by doing or saying the wrong thing. \r\nAnd, if you talk to people who date men, they’ll tell you that guys often seem like they’re jumping at the chance to put their foot in their mouths. \r\nRELATED: Things You Shouldn't Say on a First Date \r\nSo in order to help you avoid the most common pitfalls when it comes to dating conversation turnoffs, AskMen spoke to a handful of dating experts, as well as people who date men. Here’s what they had to say: \r\nBeing Stuck in the Past\r\nIt can be hard to get over an ex-partner for a variety of reasons, but if you’re trying to date someone new, your ex should come up rarely, if ever, especially leading up to and during a first date. \r\nWhether you’re talking about your ex in an overly positive or overly negative light, it’s hard for someone new to feel good about the connection they could be building with you if you keep highlighting the fact that you haven’t fully moved on. \r\n“Comparing oneself to an ex and highlighting their flaws is not conducive to building a healthy connection,” says Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, CA. “For instance, saying, ‘I’m glad to see you keep your living room clean because my ex was always messy’ creates unnecessary comparison and negativity.”\r\nTalking about your ex in the early going is a big-time no-no, agrees Laura Windsor, founder of Laura Windsor Etiquette Academy. \r\n“Especially when it’s about how great or awful their exes were,” she explains. “‘My ex-wife was a really awful person,’ ‘My last girlfriend stole my dog. She was a total freak’. It gives the impression that the date is being compared to past flames… It also says a lot about him.”\r\nRELATED: Common Red Flags in a Relationship\r\nBeing Sexual Too Soon\r\n\r\n“[It’s such a turn-off] when they suddenly make it overly sexual! So many men open up conversations in such a gross and demeaning way. - Tori, 24\r\n“Being overly sexual via text before establishing a solid relationship foundation,” Goldberg says, is a huge and all-too common dating turnoff. \r\n“For instance,” she says, “engaging in sexting prior to the first meeting or discussing how aroused they are just looking at their Tinder pics” are examples of ways guys cross that line — and while it’s likely more of a concern for women, it can be a turnoff regardless of gender.\r\n\r\n“[One thing I think is a turn-off?] Commenting on my body or appearance soon into the conversation. Similarly, immediately discussing sex.” - Josh, 31\r\nUltimately, sex is a fraught and potentially uncomfortable topic for many people, who don’t feel comfortable engaging in sexually charged conversations with relative strangers. Unless you’re on a hookup-oriented app, taking your time before getting to that kind of conversation is usually the right move. \r\nBeing Overly Sure of Themselves\r\nIt’s no secret that confidence is seen as a desirable and sexy trait. But there’s a line between confidence and arrogance, and lots of guys confidently arrogantly stroll right over to the wrong side. \r\n\r\n“[It’s such a turn-off when they’re] unable to put themselves in others' shoes! Assuming their way is the ‘right’ way or generally not understanding why someone does something differently.” - Victoria, 34\r\nThis could look like mansplaining, playing “devil's advocate,” correcting the other person or just trying to dominate the conversation in any way. It’s not debate club — it’s a date. \r\nBeing Overly Boastful\r\nOne step past being overly sure of yourself is spending a lot of time actively talking about how great you are. Many guys seem to be under the impression that a date is like a job interview and they’re there to sell themselves as a potential candidate for sex and/or romance. \r\n\r\n“[One thing I think is a turn-off?] Talking about themselves (nonstop), video games, and ambitions not accompanied by action. - Nicole, 30\r\nBut that mindset completely ignores the reality that the person you’re talking to is not being paid for their time screening you; they’re trying to spend time interacting with you, and the one way that can be fun for them is if you help make it an enjoyable experience. \r\nRELATED: Common Dating Mistakes Men Make in the First Few Dates \r\n“Someone who talks incessantly about himself” is a definite turnoff, says Windsor. “It’s interesting to a point then it just becomes boring.” \r\nEven if you’re more successful than the other person, good conversation is about give-and-take, not a one-way street. \r\n\r\n“[It’s such a turn-off when they’re] low-key trying to show off their intellect, winding up not talking with me but at me (bonus points if it's braindead manosphere stuff). - M, 37\r\n“While confidence in a male is attractive, constantly needing to prove it by boasting about workouts, vacations, or material possessions reeks of desperation for admiration,” Goldberg notes. \r\nBeing Too Focused on Money\r\nOn that note, numbers in particular can be a sticking point. \r\nIt makes sense — lots of the way masculine success is conceived of in contemporary culture is through the lens of finances. How much do you make? What expensive products do you own? What’s your net worth? \r\nBut while these might be great fodder for conversations among similarly ambitious friends, in a dating context, they’re often seen as a distinct turnoff. \r\nRELATED: Most Common Money Fights in Relationships, Revealed\r\n“Bragging about how much you earn, your house or your car particularly if it’s to impress your date,” says Windsor. “Asking about a date’s income is also inappropriate. Those who possess good qualities and assets don’t feel the need to brag. It’s the ones who talk a lot who have something to hide.”\r\nOn the flip side, talking about money doesn’t have to be a brag for it to feel iffy to a date. \r\n“Discussing prices in either extreme can send off the wrong message,” says Goldberg. \r\nFor instance, she notes, “complaining about the high prices on the menu” could convey “a sense of excessive frugality.”\r\nBeing Overly Negative\r\nWhat’s that about complaining? Early on, people typically want to associate a date, match or crush with positive thoughts and feelings, so being overly negative can be a deal-breaker for many. \r\n“A guy who starts complaining about things or gossips about others, whether it is his coworkers and bosses or about the venue or restaurant service,” says Windsor. “He risks being seen more as a whiner than a winner!”\r\n\r\n“I still see a lot of negging around looks and it just makes me write those guys off, period. Women tend to spend so much more money and attention on their appearances in the first place, for the sake of their dates, and then get mocked or undermined for it? Still?” - Lee, 33\r\nWhile lots of people have dark senses of humor or appreciate a little ribbing with their flirting, joking about inappropriate stuff or ragging on the other person’s interests can turn their perception of you into one primarily based on negativity. \r\n\r\n“[It’s such a turn-off] when they hate things I like because they think it’s girly. Barbie. Taylor Swift. Dolly Alderton books. Just anyone who yucks my yum.” - Alexandra, 36\r\nSimilarly, even if it’s not talking about your ex, going into detail about past traumas or grief can be too much, too soon. \r\nEarly on in a dating relationship “isn’t the time to learn about how awful your childhood was,” says Windsor.\r\n“Leave the family skeletons in the closet — at least for now!” \r\nWhile being vulnerable and sharing sometimes unpleasant details about your past and inner life is part of the foundation of building a strong and intimate relationship over time, in the early going, it can be a seriously unpleasant experience to be on the other side of. \r\nBeing Uncurious\r\n\r\n“[One thing I think is a turn-off?] Flexing overtly. Like they came to show off, not converse. And only being interested in similarities.” - Abe, 29\r\nIt’s a common refrain that going on dates with men can be an exercise in hearing about their lives and not getting much of a chance to talk about your own. \r\nIf you’re too busy being confident, boastful, bragging or complaining, you’ll never take a moment to ask the other person about their perspective. \r\nThe silver lining here? Because so many guys fail at this basic aspect of dating back-and-forth, you can seriously impress some people just by doing them the courtesy of inquiring about their thoughts and feelings. \r\nRELATED: How Listening & Asking Questions Makes You Way Sexier \r\n\r\n“I used to set a timer to see how long the conversation could go without them asking me a question. It was essentially an interview.” - Maria, 37\r\nBeing Distracted or Unengaged\r\nIs there any bigger turnoff than someone making you feel like you’re barely worth their time? \r\n“When we're not fully present in a conversation, it signals to the other person that we're not engaged,” says Magda Kay. “To invite deep, honest conversation, show the person that you're fully present and committed to listening. Being distracted or interrupting the conversation sends the message that you're not invested, which can deter them from opening up.”\r\nThat means, of course, that, if you’re talking in person, your phone is out of sight — unless you’re specifically using it to show the other person something. \r\nRELATED: Phone Snubbing Is Just the Worst\r\nDigitally, this could mean taking steps to ensure you’re not distracted while chatting (such as switching on some version of Do Not Disturb that’ll block out notifications from other apps), or clearly communicating when you’ll be stepping away for a time so the other person isn’t left hanging. \r\nBeing Boring\r\nOf course, what’s boring to one person might be comfortable and normal to another; what’s outlandish and wild to one person may practically be boring to someone else. But if you’re talking to someone and trying to impress them, at least try not to be boring. \r\n\r\n“[It’s such a turn-off] when someone off an app just starts the convo with ‘hello.’ So dry, so dull, do better!” - Wolfgang, 26\r\nIn a digital context, that could mean crafting a thoughtful opening message that specifically addresses what’s in a person’s profile; in person, it could be about asking thoughtful first-date questions. \r\nRELATED: Best Questions to Ask Your Date \r\n\"Skip superficial questions and dive deep,” Kay suggests. “Creating a safe space for intimate conversation requires mutual openness and sharing on a deep level.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\n9 First-Date Conversation Tips That Actually Work 4 Sexist Conversations Traps Guys Often Fall Into Things You Should Never Say While on a Date", "keywords": "Dating, Conversation, Turnoffs", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "140", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/top_10/dating/conversation-turn-offs/askmen-lead-image-template-20-1714529278.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/conversation-turn-offs.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-01 11:11:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "37199", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Most Common Male Sex Fantasies (and How to Share Them With Your Partner)", "title_slug": "most-common-male-sex-fantasies-and-how-to-share-them-with-your-partner", "title_hash": "df881152ef8bdb76315f3b148159518b", "summary": "Does the mere idea of a threesome get you hot and bothered? Have you secretly been curious about dabbling in the art of role-play? It's certainly a lot easier to keep your sexual fantasies instead of sharing them with your partner, but what’s the fun in that?\r\nIf your partner is in the dark, odds are your fantasies will never come to fruition. Still, no matter how much you trust them or how long you've been together, just the thought of bringing this up in conversation can leave you feeling awkward and ashamed. What if they judge you? Will your proposition leave them offended?\r\nWhile there may be shame surrounding some of your deepest desires, hiding them from your partner may do more harm than good. That’s why most intimacy coaches highly recommend finding a way to communicate these fantasies to your partner in a way that doesn't coerce them or pressure them, but rather opens up an honest exchange. \r\nRELATED: Common Female Fantasies\r\nAccording to a recent survey, about 6 in 10 people ", "content": "Does the mere idea of a threesome get you hot and bothered? Have you secretly been curious about dabbling in the art of role-play? It's certainly a lot easier to keep your sexual fantasies instead of sharing them with your partner, but what’s the fun in that?\r\nIf your partner is in the dark, odds are your fantasies will never come to fruition. Still, no matter how much you trust them or how long you've been together, just the thought of bringing this up in conversation can leave you feeling awkward and ashamed. What if they judge you? Will your proposition leave them offended?\r\nWhile there may be shame surrounding some of your deepest desires, hiding them from your partner may do more harm than good. That’s why most intimacy coaches highly recommend finding a way to communicate these fantasies to your partner in a way that doesn't coerce them or pressure them, but rather opens up an honest exchange. \r\nRELATED: Common Female Fantasies\r\nAccording to a recent survey, about 6 in 10 people admit they haven’t shared their sexual fantasies with their partner. Conversely, people who share their fantasies are nearly 10% percent more likely to report being very satisfied with their sex life.\r\nJess O’Reilly, the host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, says many people don’t talk about their fantasies in order to avoid rejection — something that’s ingrained in our survival instincts out of a need to belong. However, she emphasizes that divulging your desires, no matter how vulnerable and scary it may feel, can help your partner better understand how to get you in the mood, heighten your pleasure, and keep sex exciting in the long run. \r\nBelow, experts share some of the most common fantasies out there, along with tips on how to share them with your partner.\r\n\r\n5 Common Sexual Fantasies That Men Express Having\r\n\r\nThreesomes/Group Sex\r\nWhen Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a Kinsey Institute expert on human sexuality and author of The Sex and Psychology, surveyed more than 4,000 Americans about their sexual desires and attitudes, the number one fantasy that came up was threesomes or some form of group sex. In fact, he found that almost everyone, both male and female, had toyed with this idea in their mind at some point.\r\nHis research also revealed that women were more likely than men to fantasize about same-sex experiences. Unsurprisingly, a 2014 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that straight men are more likely to fantasize about sex with two women, and also tend to want a more active role rather than a passive role during group sex. Some men may want to watch their partner have sex with another man without participating (known as “cuckolding”). \r\nAccording to O’Reilly, the appeal for threesomes seems to be rooted in several desires:\r\n\r\n\tThe desire to be desired by multiple partners and relish in that power\r\n\tThe desire to be physically overwhelmed (having four hands touching you or two mouths kissing you)\r\n\tThe desire to emulate what you see in porn\r\n\r\nOf course, threesomes aren’t for every couple, and you’ll need to have a solid foundation of trust (and set some clear ground rules) before bringing someone else into your bedroom. This fantasy can trigger insecurities for some — your partner may wonder if they’re not enough to sexually satisfy you, or worry that being intimate with someone else might open up an avenue for cheating.\r\nRELATED: How to Discuss Having a Threesome\r\nThat’s why O’Reilly says you should be delicate when bringing this up, and rather than merely posing it as a “yes or no” question (“Want to have a threesome?”), digging into what it is that you find hot about this hypothetical situation.\r\n“Why do you want to have a threesome? What are the benefits you expect to derive — personally, relationally, sexually, practically, physically, emotionally, spiritually? What are the risks?” she explains. “Make space for getting beyond yes and no and you’ll have more meaningful and fruitful conversations.”\r\nBDSM\r\nThe aforementioned 2014 study above found that submission and domination themes were super common for both men and women. But while men are more likely to fantasize about tying someone up, women are more likely to fantasize about being tied up.\r\nAs intimacy coach Rebecca Torosian points out, this doesn’t always mean channeling 50 Shades of Grey. Meaning, this fantasy can range vastly from slightly rough or aggressive sex to more extreme bondage, sadism, and masochism (BDSM).\r\n“BDSM encompasses many different kinks,” she explains. “It can involve tying your partner up, spanking, and an entire spectrum of other behaviors. Both men and women report enjoying assuming both roles.”\r\nAccording to O’Reilly, some people relish in the power trip of dominating, while others find a thrill in handing over control in a submissive role. \r\n“Being dominated allows us to escape from life's everyday responsibilities and relinquish the pressure to perform,” she tells AskMen.\r\nIf you’re not sure where to start in sharing this fantasy with your partner, O’Reilly suggests starting by talking about the feelings you’re after rather than what props you want to use. Do you want to feel desired? Powerful? Subservient? Relaying this information to your partner can provide a nice transition into a discussion into your comfort levels with BDSM and rough play.\r\nEven if your partner isn’t willing to wield a whip or get tied up in chains, they may be open to the idea of playing with the power dynamic during sex.\r\nSex Outdoors/Sex in a Public Place\r\nEver thought about getting frisky on a park bench or at the beach? You’re definitely not the only one — in fact, 66% of men and 57% of women have fantasized about getting it on in a public place, and a whopping 82% of both men and women have fantasized about having sex in an “unusual” place (like in a car or at the office). \r\n“This fantasy combines the risk of getting caught, the potential of performing (exhibitionism), and the power and excitement of breaking the rules,” explains O’Reilly.\r\nRELATED: How to Have Sex in Public Without Getting Caught\r\nThis fantasy may feel less awkward to share because it tends to have less stigma and shame attached to it. That said, be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not be on board with the idea. And if they are, you might ask them what their reservations are rooted in.\r\nAre they uncomfortable with the idea of being caught in the act? If so, you might be able to compromise on locations outside the bedroom that give you that sought-after rush while still providing them the privacy they need — for example, a restaurant bathroom that locks.\r\nMasturbation\r\nA staggering 71% of both men and women have fantasized about being masturbated by their partner. Another 68% of women and 76% of men have thought about masturbating their partner. Some people also like the idea of watching their partner pleasure themselves.\r\nWhichever route you’re hoping to go, there are lots of different ways to approach sharing this with your partner. For example, you might verbalize it by saying, “I’m really turned on by the idea of touching you until you finish. How does that sound?” Or, if you’re dying for them to bring you over the edge via masturbation, you could try simply moving their hand downstairs and hope they take the hint.\r\nRemember: masturbation can feel like a vulnerable act because it’s something we typically do in private. If it takes your partner some time to warm up to the idea, that’s totally normal. Take it slow, opting to touch them or ask them to touch you on other parts of your body during foreplay. That way, you can ease into this fantasy at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.\r\nForced Sexual Acts/Rape Fantasy\r\nA 2009 study of undergraduates found that 62% of women have had a rape fantasy, while Lehmiller found that 54% of men had fantasized about this before.\r\n“We derive pleasure from the feelings of submission, victimization, and aggressive desire,” explains O’Reilly. “Rape fantasies are not an indication of real-life desires — the mind is simply a safe space from which to explore our edgiest thoughts. And the majority of us are capable of differentiating between thoughts (fantasy) and reality (behaviors). This is why we can fantasize and become aroused by a thought, but not seek out the fulfillment of a sex act that causes harm to ourselves or others.”\r\nTo be very clear, just because someone has a rape fantasy does not mean they want sex forced on them, or to actually force it on another person. If you decide to bring it up with your partner, note that this is obviously highly sensitive territory. After all, feeling safe is of the utmost importance in order for sex to be pleasurable.\r\nTread very carefully in bringing it up this desire, and be sure that you’re allowing them plenty of space to share their emotional responses to this idea. For instance, you might consider saying this: “I’ve often thought about how hot it would be if you wanted me so badly that you just had your way with me and didn’t ask permission.” You might also start by putting your feelers out to see how they feel about shifting the power dynamic during sex and letting you take the lead more (or vice versa).\r\nEither way, let your partner know that their fears, apprehensions, and objections are heard and respected. \r\n“Reassure them that you enjoy being intimate with them and are genuinely happy to continue having sex in ways that feel comfortable and natural for them,” says Torosian.\r\nIf you do decide to move forward with this fantasy, make sure to institute a “safe word” that you can use when things are getting uncomfortable for either of you. It’s also crucial to set very clear boundaries about what is and isn’t OK.\r\nRegardless of which fantasy you’re toying with, Torosian recommends introducing it to your partner in a fun and playful way. Invite them to tell you about their sexual dreams when they have them, and be willing to do the same. The more you create an environment of openness when it comes to sex, the easier you’ll find it to be honest about your fantasies.\r\nAbove all, it’s important to remember that a fantasy can remain just that — in your imagination. You are never obligated to act on it, or even share it with your partner if you don’t want to. Besides, as O'Reilly puts it, “a fantasy is hotter in your mind than in real life.\"\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tWomen Tell You How to Get Them Wet\r\n\tWhy People Stop Having Sex in Relationships\r\n\tHow to Increase Your Sex Drive", "keywords": "Most, Common, Male, Sex, Fantasies, and, How, Share, Them, With, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "161", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex_fantasies/common-sex-fantasies/askmen-lead-image-template-1712328480.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_fantasies/common-sex-fantasies.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-05-01 11:11:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36997", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: Please Help Me-My Husband Is Leaving Me & I Am Freaking Out", "title_slug": "true-life-story-please-help-me-my-husband-is-leaving-me-i-am-freaking-out", "title_hash": "b1e643eed44f1793a22c8e7c1d06b3c6", "summary": "True Life Story: Please Help Me-My Husband Is Leaving Me & I Am Freaking Out Dear Lively Stones, I need your advice, my worst fear has been confirmed and I am very scared and confused. My husband is leaving me and my seven month old child. So, I met my husband three years ago. He […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: Please Help Me-My Husband Is Leaving Me & I Am Freaking Out

Dear Lively Stones,

I need your advice, my worst fear has been confirmed and I am very scared and confused. My husband is leaving me and my seven month old child. So, I met my husband three years ago. He had just come out of a very bad divorce. His wife cheated on him and left him with their two kids to America. He was in a very low place, we became friends and I helped him get back on his feet. I helped him get a job where his boss really liked him. Under a few months, he was given a new car and good salary.

We eventually got married a year later and God blessed us with a baby girl. Sometime last year, my husband started telling me that he wants to japka cos he is making decent money to sponsor his jakpa project. I was happy for him but it was only recently that I found out that my husband and his ex are in talking terms. She is actually the one inviting him over to America.

I found out during Christmas because the ex came and they met in her hotel. My husband slept with her and they made up. Can you imagine? Now, the woman is claiming to be pregnant for him and wants them to be a family again. It was my husband’s younger sister that likes me alot that revealed all these to me. I confronted my husband and he started apologizing, saying he wants his children in his life so that is why he agreed to go back to his wife.

Why is this man treating me like this? What have I done to deserve this? After I picked him up and brushed him up after his wife cheated on him, sold their properties and ran away? Now, he is going back to her? Men!!…please any woman dating a divorced, please be very careful because men can stain your white.

Then I asked my husband,what about me? What about our daughter? He then said, I can still remain his wife but I would be his second wife back in Naija. He would send regular upkeep money and visit us as much as he can. To be honest, I feel already disappointed in my husband going back to his first wife and then he is suggesting a become a second wife is really a disgusting suggestion. But my family is saying I should accept to be his second wife and naija wife so that my child or even myself can have opportunity to relocate to America one day.

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I am feeling so sad and unhappy and confused and betrayed…..I can look after my baby and myself but I still love my husband….even with the betrayal…what should I do please? Should I divorce him or stay in naija as his second wife? What will I tell my child as she grows? what will I say., that her father has another family abroad? What will I do when I get lonely? Yes, in future, there may be opportunities to japka but is that not if this man does not even forget all about us once he joins his family?

My husband is leaving by month end…I need to give him an answer. Please advise me, my heart is completely broken. I need to think straight. I need to think what is best for me and my child. And again, how is it that I am going to be second wife? He legally divorced the ex…does that not make me the first wife now and she, the second wife? I need sound advice.

Anonymous

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Please, Help, Me-My, Husband, Leaving, Freaking, Out", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "114", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/My-Husband-Is-Leaving-Me.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-please-help-me-my-husband-is-leaving-me-i-am-freaking-out/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:33:36", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36867", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Michael Chief | Getting Lots of Love from Women", "title_slug": "michael-chief-getting-lots-of-love-from-women", "title_hash": "7f78ee428cc77cacfd4efc9f74a3b80d", "summary": "In this interview with Girls Chase founder Chase Amante, Mike Chief discusses being loved by women, polyamory, picking up girls as a short, Asian, introverted man, and more.\n\n\n", "content": "

$\"TEXT\"$ In this interview with Girls Chase founder Chase Amante, Mike Chief discusses being loved by women, polyamory, picking up girls as a short, Asian, introverted man, and more.

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", "keywords": "Michael, Chief, Getting, Lots, Love, from, Women", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "139", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/media/2024/04/podcast-michael-chief-1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "99", "post_url": "https://www.girlschase.com/article/michael-chief-getting-lots-love-women", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:25:42", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36866", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Unique Mother's Day Gifts 2024", "title_slug": "unique-mothers-day-gifts-2024", "title_hash": "e058efecb7a09b2057c65ad433b64fe9", "summary": "Don't pull the same old trick this Mother's Day -- try something from our selection of unique gifts to show your mom she's worth more than a box of stale chocolates.", "content": "If there’s one person who deserves a treat and a heartfelt thank you, it’s probably Mom. Mother’s Day is a time to pay your respects to the woman who brought you into this world and did her best to equip you with all the tools needed to make it on your own. And, additionally, if you're a father, now is the time to pay your respects to the woman who brought your child(ren) into this world and has stood by your side as you navigate the wild world of parenting. So before you hit up the drugstore for cards and chocolates, think about choosing a slightly more unique gift this year, one that at least tries to match her caliber.\r\nRELATED: Mother's Day Gift Ideas 2024\r\nWhether she’s a baker or a biochemist, unique gifts are all about celebrating her special interests and making her feel like the royal matriarch that she is. While this Mother's Day may not be quite the same as those in the past as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, you can still make sure she feels pampered and loved on May 12.\r\nHere we’ve rounded up our favorite unique Mother's Day gifting options to get you started. You might want to order your gift sooner than you would have in the past, as there are more delays in the shipping process at the moment.\r\n\r\nUnique Mother's Day Gift Ideas\r\n\r\nSTATE Bags Lorimer Fanny Pack\r\n\r\nIf your mom is the type who always complains about losing things, give her a sleek, stylish vessel for Mother’s Day that’ll keep her belongings in one place. STATE Bags Lorimer Fanny Pack, a brand best seller that amassed a long waitlist of people eager to sling this across their body, comes in a seven different colors and can literally hold. So. Much. Stuff. With its two large, main zippered pockets and an exterior back slip pocket, your mother will be grateful that she knows where all of her everyday essentials are — keys, wallet, lip stick, hand sanitizer, sunglasses, water bottle — and will never have to ask you to find them for her again. \r\n$72 at StateBags.com \r\nSkin Gym Rose Quartz Workout Set\r\n\r\nThis set might look weird to you, but trust us, facial rollers and gua sha sculpting tools are all the rage these days for a reason. Designed to help tighten the skin, reduce puffiness, and ease tension in the face, these tools can be even be popped into the freezer before use for an extra soothing effect.\r\n$49 at Nordstrom.com\r\nLightbox Jewelry\r\n\r\nThey say diamonds are a girl's best friend, and that certainly applies to moms. Carefully grown within a lab, Lightbox Jewelry's diamonds are incredibly unique. While they are identical to natural diamonds in appearance and are made to match the chemical properties of natural diamonds, they are a lot more affordable. Radiant and refined, these Halo 1-carat Halo earrings are a prime example of the lab-grown diamond's captivating qualities – and Mom's sure to agree.\r\nPrices vary at LightboxJewelry.com\r\nMerrell Women's Moab 3 Hiking Boot\r\n\r\n\r\nThe right footwear can make or break a hiking experience. Whether Mom's an avid hiker or she's just getting into the hobby, she'll greatly appreciate this thoughtful gift idea. Offering superior traction and continuous heel and arch support, these hiking boots make even the toughest treks easy on the feet. \r\n$120 at Merrell.com\r\nFUNBOY Pool Float\r\n\r\nWho says pool floats are only for the kids? Take her pool relaxation game to the next level this summer with a playful pool float from Funboy. We're partial to the tie-dye tube, but the swan, pink convertible, and butterfly are just as great.\r\n$39 at FUNBOY.com\r\nSUNFLOW Beach Bundle\r\n\r\nIf there was ever a year mom needed a day (a week, a lifetime) at the beach, it's this one. Make her next trip her best trip with this chic and stylish beach bundle from SUNFLOW. Not only will she get a chair that packs up and travels easily, she'll get the sunshade, the dry bag, and the drink holder that come with it — plus a free color-coordinated beach towel. \r\n$225 at GetSunflow.com\r\nZinus Ultra-Cool Gel Memory Foam Mattress Topper\r\n\r\nIf your mom has been complaining about not getting a good night’s sleep, the best thing to get her this Mother’s Day are quality zZzs. And how are you supposed to do that, you ask? With a cooling mattress topper, courtesy of Zinus. A total refresh is on the way for your dear mother, and she’ll have the layer of ultra-cool gel memory foam to thank. She’ll cool down, feel less pressure while she’s curled up in bed, and ultimately wake up even more excited to see her favorite child when they stop by. \r\nFrom $79 at Amazon.com\r\nCBT Small Ceramic Celfie Face Floral Vase\r\n\r\n\r\nWhile a flower arrangement definitely adds life to a room, those terrible plastic brown pots most flowers arrive in do nothing to brighten up a space. This unique \"selfie\" planter is sure to do the trick. For serious brownie points, fill it with flowers before gifting.\r\n\r\n$11.99 at Walmart.com\r\nMasterClass\r\n\r\nShe’s taught you so many things over the years, now it’s your turn to return the favor. With an all-access pass to MasterClass she can watch any MasterClass video she desires and learn from the pros themselves. Whether it’s tennis with Serena Williams or photography with Annie Leibovitz, the options are endless.\r\nP.S. Right now, if you buy an annual membership now, you will receive a second one for free.\r\nFrom $15 per month at MasterClass.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: New Mom Mother's Day Gift Guide\r\n\r\nCameo Greeting\r\n\r\nNow, this is a greeting card she’s sure to remember. Let one of Mom’s favorite celebrities get in on the Mother’s Day pampering action with a Cameo video. From Connie Briton and Lance Bance to Bethanny Frankel, there are several recognizable faces to choose from in the film, music, sports, and comedy industries.\r\nFind out more at Cameo.com\r\nVellabox Candle Subscription Box\r\n\r\nWhat's better than the gift of one scented candle? The gift of one candle every month! With a Vellabox subscription, the mama in your life will receive a new artisan candle (and a surprise gift) every month, featuring a scent specifically chosen to match the season.\r\nAlso, don't forget to use code ASKMEN10 for $10 off $50 and ASKMEN20 for $20 off $100.\r\nFrom $12 per month at Vellabox.com\r\nPhilips Smart Pasta Maker Plus\r\n\r\n\r\nYou really can't beat the gift of a plate of fresh pasta. And if she's able to make any type of noodle she wants, from the comfort of her home, in less than 10 minutes, then wash parts and attachments in the dishwasher, the gift is all the more brilliant. Whether she's a fan of penne, tagliatelle, spaghetti, or lasagna, this pasta maker makes the process of preparing noodles quick and easy. Plus, she can add fun additions into the mix like herbs, spinach, or beets.\r\n$229.95 at Amazon.com\r\nMinted Your Drawing Foil Art Print\r\n\r\nIf you're hoping to go the sentimental route this is the perfect gift. Through Minted you can have one of your childhood drawings or one of your child's drawings made into a foil art print for Mom or Grandma to hang proudly hang on the wall.\r\nFrom $111 at Minted.com\r\nStreaming Service Subscription\r\n\r\nThere are so many streaming services out there nowadays and if she’s having a hard time keeping up she’s not alone! Whether she’s a music lover who could benefit from an ad-free Spotify experience or you think she’d enjoy catching up on class Disney flicks with a Disney+ account, you can surprise her on Mother’s Day with one month access to a streaming service on you.\r\nFrom $25 at BestBuy.com\r\nKnock! Knock! Floral Arrangement Subscription\r\n\r\nMake Mom the envy of the neighborhood with a seasonal arrangement subscription to Knock! Knock! After entering in her location details, to ensure she gets blooms that are suited to her region, she will receive a beautiful planter-ready annual to set on the front steps.\r\nFrom $65 at JustKnockKnock.com\r\n\r\nRELATED: First Mother's Day Gifts\r\n\r\nBrooklyn Brew Shop Bagel and Cream Cheese Kit\r\n\r\nWhat’s Mother’s Day brunch without some bagels and cream cheese? Whether the mom in your life is a foodie or not, she’s guaranteed to enjoy getting in on the bagel and cream cheese prep with this comprehensive kit from Brooklyn Brew Shop.\r\n$42 at BrooklynBrewShop.com\r\nCharitable Donation\r\n\r\nMom might have said she doesn’t want any gifts this year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t contribute to one of her favorite charitable organizations in her name. With a gift card to Charity Choice, she can select the organization she wants to donate the funds to, or you can pick one you know she’s passionate about.\r\nFind out more at CharityGiftCertificates.org\r\nRoborock Q5+ Robot Vacuum\r\n\r\n\r\nThere was a time when giving a vacuum as a gift was seen as an insult. “What, you don’t think I keep my house clean enough?” Well those days are long gone, because none of us have time to do all the things we’re “supposed” to do everyday, so we’ll all take any help we can get. And after cleaning up after us all through childhood, giving her a smart robot that cleans up after her just seems like the right thing to do. \r\n$699.99 at Amazon.com\r\nStitch Fix Gift Card\r\n\r\nNow that mom, like the rest of us, is making her way back into the world, she will want to have a few new looks to add to the mix. If she still doesn’t want to spend all that time digging through racks and changing in dirty department store fitting rooms, then she’ll love getting a Stitch Fix gift card. Allow her to pick and choose from wherever she is when her stylist sends the preview of her selections and she’ll never want to shop the old way again.\r\nLearn more at StitchFix.com\r\nWe're Not Really Strangers Card Game\r\n\r\nIf the mom in your life lives for a family game night, this game is sure to become her new favorite. Family and friends can get personal and bond with the card prompts that lead to reflection, laughter, and connection.\r\n$25 at WereNotReallyStrangers.com\r\nWeber Original Kettle Premium Charcoal Grill\r\n\r\nWhy are dads the only ones receiving grills? If she loves a good grilled veggie dog or hamburger in the summertime, surprise her with this top-rated charcoal grill from Weber.\r\n$219 at Amazon.com\r\nBook Cover Tote Bags\r\n\r\nFrom The Great Gatsby to Little Women, Out of Print’s literary-themed tote bags are a bibliophile’s dream gift. This gift gives back too – each bag purchase will help to fund literacy programs and book donations to communities in need.\r\nFrom $22 at OutofPrint.com\r\nLitter Robot 3 Connect\r\n\r\nThe days of scooping poop from the litter box are done. At least, if mom has one of these. It’s WiFi-enabled, shifts messes within minutes to prevent sneaky odors, and doesn’t try to up sell you, because there aren’t any special accessories you need to buy. No matter how much mom loves her cat (or cats) no one likes picking up poop. \r\n$549 at Litter-Robot.com\r\nKira Stokes Fitness Membership\r\n\r\nIf Mom has been missing her usual spin classes and workouts at the gym during the pandemic, put a spring back in her step with a month’s membership to Kira Stokes Fit. Within the app, she will have access to a wide array of workouts and she can even download them to follow offline.\r\n$14.99/moth at KiraStokes.com\r\nRELATED: Cheap Mother's Day Gifts 2021\r\nFamily Names Personalized Pillow\r\n\r\nBring a touch of family to her living room space with this customized throw pillow. With space for up to 16 names and different ink color options, it’s a fun accessory that will fit seamlessly into her space.\r\n$28.33 at Etsy.com\r\nVinyl Record\r\n\r\nVinyl is back and it’s here to stay. If Mom’s original records are a little worn out at this point, help her refresh her collection with one or two of her favorites – Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors isn’t a bad place to start. \r\n$22.90 at Amazon.com\r\nMoxi Roller Skates\r\n\r\nLet Mom unleash her inner kid and have fun this spring with a fresh set of skates. These eye-catching roller skates from Moxi are handmade in the U.S. and designed to provide comfort and support for the feet and ankles. Equipped with steel ball bearings to reduce friction, these skates offer a smooth ride indoors and out.\r\n\r\nFrom $119 at Amazon.com\r\nAura Carver Smart Digital Picture Frame\r\n\r\nGet her favorite photos off her phone and into the living room with the unique gift of an Aura frame. Once photos are sent from her phone through the secure app, they will be accessible to display on the Aura. Since you can preload photos and invite family and friends to contribute in advance, this is a particularly great gift for the grandma or great-grandma in your life who might typically miss out on seeing all the digital snapshots.\r\n$149 at Amazon.com\r\nThe Seaweed Bath Co. Whole Seaweed Detox Bath\r\n\r\n Now, she can get the full seaweed treatment from the privacy of her own home. Each bath kit includes a mesh drawstring bag, so she won’t have to scrub seaweed out of the bath, and enough sustainably-harvested bladderwrack seaweed for four baths.\r\n\r\n$13.04 at Amazon.com\r\nBaloo Satin Sleep Mask\r\n\r\nThis isn't your typical sleep mask. Featuring an extra soft and extra-wide construction, this mask blocks out light but also blocks out sounds. It comes with a rose quartz crystal tucked inside its pocket, which is meant to promote gentleness and stress relief. \r\n$68 at Huckberry.com\r\nClick and Grow Smart Garden 3\r\n\r\nIt’s wearable tech for her plants. Click & Grow’s Smart Garden features special soil that creates an ideal environment for plant growing indoors. On top of that, the built-in LED provides extra light for plants to thrive, so they aren't dependent on the sun alone. To accommodate any lifestyle or degree of green thumb, it also includes sensors to detect when a plant needs more water or nutrients.\r\n\r\n$79.95 at ClickAndGrow.com\r\nWoodSnap Photo Prints and Blocks\r\n\r\nWoodSnap takes a pretty ordinary concept, a printed picture, and makes it unique by swapping out the paper for premium baltic birch wood. All with a high-resolution finish, custom prints can be prepared in a variety of sizes and formats, and can be paired with a frame or stand of your choosing. Cheers to remembering the good times.\r\n\r\nFind out more at WoodSnap.com\r\nThe mom(s) in your life is sure to be pleasantly surprised by any one of these unique gifts.\r\n\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\n\r\n\tMother's Day Delivery Gifts\r\n\tLast-Minute Mother's Day Gifts \r\n\tPersonalized Mother's Day Gifts", "keywords": "Unique, Mothers, Day, Gifts, 2024", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "159", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/unique-mother-s-day-gifts/askmen-lead-image-template-1714411627.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/entertainment/guy_gear/unique-mother-s-day-gifts.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:21:01", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36863", "lang_id": "1", "title": "When Your Family & Friends Dislike Your Partner", "title_slug": "when-your-family-friends-dislike-your-partner", "title_hash": "f03266a113c0d572f9c321ee71b406d8", "summary": "So, you think you may have found “The One” — or at the very least, the one who makes you happy right now. You’re in love with them, they love you back. It’s that simple, right? \r\nBut what if your family and friends don’t adore your partner quite as much as you do? Worse yet, what if they just downright don’t approve? \r\nThis conundrum can cause a serious strain on your relationship, and may even raise questions or concerns in your own mind about the future. After all, how can you make it work with someone long-term if your loved ones won’t accept them?\r\nThe first thing to know is that you’re not alone. Dr. Paul Losoff, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Bedrock Psychology Group, says he’s seen this issue time and again — and in fact, currently has two patients who are struggling with conflict between their spouses and families. \r\nRELATED: What to Do When She Doesn't Like Your Friends\r\nThe second thing to know? That just because your friends and family aren’t on board with your pa", "content": "So, you think you may have found “The One” — or at the very least, the one who makes you happy right now. You’re in love with them, they love you back. It’s that simple, right? \r\nBut what if your family and friends don’t adore your partner quite as much as you do? Worse yet, what if they just downright don’t approve? \r\nThis conundrum can cause a serious strain on your relationship, and may even raise questions or concerns in your own mind about the future. After all, how can you make it work with someone long-term if your loved ones won’t accept them?\r\nThe first thing to know is that you’re not alone. Dr. Paul Losoff, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of Bedrock Psychology Group, says he’s seen this issue time and again — and in fact, currently has two patients who are struggling with conflict between their spouses and families. \r\nRELATED: What to Do When She Doesn't Like Your Friends\r\nThe second thing to know? That just because your friends and family aren’t on board with your partner just yet doesn’t necessarily mean you should end the relationship.\r\n“We can navigate these issues better in a world where we value curiosity over silence,” says Domenique Harrison, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in race and relationships. “By prioritizing clarity and understanding, we can develop strategies to overcome relational distress and strengthen our relationships with our partners, family, and friends.”\r\nAhead, therapists share the steps they recommend taking to rectify this stressful — but potentially solvable — situation.\r\n1. Let Yourself Feel Your Feelings\r\nStarting a new relationship is supposed to be an exciting time. \r\nSo, it’s only natural to feel frustrated, disappointed, or just plain sad if your friends and family aren’t able to share in your joy, says Channing Richmond, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Octave. \r\nJust as we expect our loved ones to celebrate other wins in our lives, like a promotion at work or buying a new house, we hope that they’ll celebrate our relationships, too. So, it’s no surprise that a lack of approval from your loved ones can be disheartening and distressing.\r\nRELATED: New Relationship Don'ts \r\nNot only that, but we often hope that our partners will be able to blend seamlessly into our lives — joining in on family vacations and outings with friends. When we don’t have their approval, that can create challenges in harmoniously merging our two worlds.\r\n“We build our social lives around the people closest to us,” says Gabriela Reyes, a licensed marriage and family therapist and resident relationship expert for Match Group's Chispa. “If our partners struggle to have a good relationship with the people closest to us, it will create uncomfortable situations.”\r\nConsider journaling about what’s coming up for you, which may help you to better identify and process those feelings. It may also help you to clarify your feelings so you can better express them to your friends and family members. \r\nYou can also work one-on-one with a therapist, who may offer guidance on how to cope with these emotions in a healthy and productive way.\r\nRELATED: Benefits From Therapy That Change the Way You Live Life \r\n2. Listen to Their Concerns\r\nExperts agree it’s super important to understand why your friends and family aren’t a fan of your partner — because the reasons can range widely, and will impact how you proceed in your relationship. \r\nHarrison recommends scheduling some time to talk with a few trusted people one-on-one — which may feel less overwhelming than a group meeting — and make it a point to listen to their concerns with compassion and an open mind. \r\nRELATED: How to Deal With Family Issues Impacting Your Relationship\r\nBe mindful not to get defensive, and instead, stay curious and ask questions to make sure you fully understand their perspective.\r\n“Your friends and family may perceive your partner as someone who does not have your best interest in mind, see them as controlling, or worry that they’re taking advantage of you or trying to shape you into someone you are not,” explains Losoff.\r\nThese are all valid concerns. This is a good time to dig deep to understand what evidence they have for these concerns — say, specific interactions they’ve witnessed between you and your partner, or things you’ve told them about your relationship. \r\n“If the people around you are noticing that your partner is rude, controlling, dismissive, etc., it’s important that you check in with them and take a closer look at your relationship,” says Reyes. “Sometimes we need others to point out red flags that we may not see ourselves.”\r\nBut what if your loved ones don’t approve of your partner because they don’t think they make enough money, they don’t like the way they dress, or they’re resentful that you’re suddenly spending more time with your partner than you are with them?\r\nRemember, says clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Vermani — your friends and family members don’t know your partner as well as you do, so their observations or concerns may not be accurate. Try to remember that these people are on your side, and probably have your best interests at heart. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t often biased, too.\r\n“We need to recognize that sometimes our family and friends are also flawed and may consider unimportant things while approving or disapproving of our partners,” says Reyes.\r\nRichmond also notes that your friends and family may have certain expectations for you — some of which may be unfair, unrealistic, or misaligned with your own priorities — that come into play.\r\nRELATED: Here's How to Exit From a Toxic Relationship\r\n“If they don’t see your partner as someone who helps you meet those expectations, that can lead to disapproval of your relationship,” she explains.\r\nTheir disapproval may even stem from a more selfish reason — like resentment about the fact that they’re spending less time with you now that you’re in a relationship.\r\n“Many loved ones and friends can disapprove of your relationship because of the shift in your accessibility and availability,” explains Richmond. “While you can empathize with people feeling this way, it isn’t fair to hold someone’s partners accountable for negative feelings towards change.”\r\n3. Check In With Yourself\r\nWhile gathering insight from your friends and family is important, at some point it’s time to turn inward and evaluate your own thoughts and emotions. \r\nRELATED: How Men Can Work on Improving Their Emotional Intelligence \r\nDon’t underestimate the power of your gut instincts, either, says Losoff. \r\nIs there a part of you, no matter how small, that’s worried about the same things your friends and family expressed to you? Is there an anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just can’t seem to shake? Is there a voice inside your head telling you that maybe your loved ones are seeing things you’re refusing to see? \r\nIf you’re unsure if you’re being treated poorly or if the issues brought to you are overblown, Tirrell De Gannes, a licensed clinical psychologist at the Thriving Center of Psychology, recommends trying this simple test:\r\nAsk yourself: if you saw a loved one in the same relationship, with the same kind of partner, being treated the same way — would you have a problem with it?\r\nRELATED: How to Make a Good Impression on a Partner's Family\r\n4. Look for Patterns in the Relationship\r\nNow that you’ve gathered info on why your friends and fam don’t approve of your partner, Richmond advises looking for patterns in their concerns. \r\nThere’s no need to investigate every single negative comment from your loved ones — you want to look at the bigger picture here.\r\n“Not everyone is going to get along all the time,” she says. “What’s abnormal is if almost everyone in your life says the same negative things about them.”\r\nRELATED: How to Recognize Unhealthy Relationship Patterns \r\nIf this is the case, Richmond says it can also be helpful to use a therapist as a sounding board to explore patterns in your relationship history, and discuss why you may be missing these red flags that others are picking up on.\r\n5. Be Mindful of What Info You’re Sharing\r\nReal talk: a lot of us have a tendency to only talk about our partners when we’re complaining. \r\nThe problem with this, says De Gannes, is that your loved ones start to develop an inaccurate view of your relationship because they’re hearing about all the negative aspects without the positives to balance it out.\r\n“Too much of this information makes it hard for your friends and family to support the relationship,” says De Gannes. \r\nFor this reason, De Gannes strongly recommends making an effort to talk openly about your partner’s admirable qualities and strengths. Tell friends and family members about their sweet and supportive everyday gestures, like making you coffee every morning or listening to you vent about your work day. \r\nThe more you share these things, the better your loved ones will come to understand why you love your partner — and maybe, just maybe, they’ll come to love them too for the very same reasons.\r\nAnother pro tip? When appropriate, De Gannes suggests encouraging your friends and family to spend some alone time with your partner, so they have an opportunity to bond with them on their own and get to know them outside the context of your relationship.\r\nRELATED: Signs You're in a Healthy Relationship\r\n6. Set Boundaries as Needed\r\nIf you determine that your friends’ and family’s concerns are valid, then it may be worth taking a step back to assess whether or not your needs are being met in this relationship — and whether your partner is willing to make any changes to ensure that you feel emotionally secure, happy, supported, and fulfilled.\r\nOn the other hand, if it becomes clear that their disapproval stems from superficial issues — say, your partner’s income or physical appearance, experts advise setting some clear boundaries — with consequences — with your friends and family. \r\nFor example, you might let your loved ones know that you won’t tolerate them making fun of your partner or bashing them behind their back — and if they do this, you’ll end the conversation or leave the gathering. \r\nAccording to Richmond, it’s more than OK to tell a friend or family member when their complaints or comments are not helpful. \r\nRELATED: How to Deal With a Toxic Family for Your Partner’s Happiness \r\n“Let everyone know that you will not take on the role of intermediary,” adds Vermani. \r\nIn other words: your loved ones shouldn’t ever put you in the position of middle man where you’re forced to voice their complaints.\r\n“Finally, recognize that even though people can be judgmental of others when they first meet, first impressions are not always accurate, and that interpersonal dynamics can evolve and get better,” Vermani tells AskMen. “Give your close friends, family members, and partner the benefit of the doubt.”\r\nYou Might Also Dig:\r\nEarly Signs Your Relationship Just Won’t LastMistakes to Avoid When Meeting the Parents Over Video ChatSigns She's the One for You", "keywords": "When, Your, Family, Friends, Dislike, Your, Partner", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "158", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/1080x540/2016/07/06-042036-what_to_do_when_your_parents_hate_your_girlfriend.jpg?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-to-do-when-your-parents-hate-your-girlfriend.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:21:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36864", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Never Have I Ever: Hooked Up With a Cougar", "title_slug": "never-have-i-ever-hooked-up-with-a-cougar", "title_hash": "d2100e8b18f5297ee2b7dd9a25ed60ad", "summary": "Ever Been Curious About Dating Older Women? One Cougar Lover Spills All", "content": "Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).\r\nWell, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.\r\nIn a world of Botox, Gen-Z Hollywood starlets, and Harvard researchers clamoring to figure out how to reverse aging, the tidy cultural synopsis is that youth is prioritized at all costs. \r\nWoman over 35? Better empty out your wallet for some nasolabial filler, stat. \r\nHowever, while that narrative benefits the dermatologists and plastic surgeons (and insert required note that, of course, people should be able to do whatever they want with their wallet and face), it isn't actually representative of how age factors into sexual attraction, especially for straight men. \r\nEnter scene: The allure of cougars, the older, confident women who drag the bodies of hot young men out of the grasps of Zoomers' teeth and into their (much nicer) beds. \r\nTo learn more about why older women are hot, we spoke to Sally* (not his government name), a 32-year-old living in Los Angeles. Sally lost his virginity at 18 to his 45-year-old former substitute teacher. \r\nRELATED: What It’s Like to Explore Age Gaps in a DDLG Dynamic \r\nWhile he spills about that first time, it also wasn't his last. Since then, he's exclusively been with women over 55. Read on to explore his insights on the joys of the cougar:\r\nAskMen: What is your experience with cougars?\r\nSally: That's a very broad, but easy question to answer… a lot. I've exclusively dated, fucked, and fell in love with women over the age of 55 for the last twenty-four years. \r\nWhat was your first experience?\r\nBelieve it or not, I lost my virginity to a woman who was 45 at the time when I was 18. Not to mention, she had been a substitute teacher at my high school. To answer your immediate thoughts, no, nothing happened during my time in high school. \r\nRELATED: Everyone You Shouldn’t Sleep With, Ranked \r\nHowever, it only took four months to literally run into her when we were both out jogging. We talked, reconnected as former teacher-student acquaintances, and shared emails with one another. After three or four emails back and forth, she unloaded on me and exclaimed how she thought it was kismet that we crossed paths and asked to meet for lunch at a diner.\r\n The next morning, before I commuted to university in the city, I met her for the two egg, bacon, and potatoes combo and talked about memories from high school, then onto the important subject… when can we see each other again to fuck! \r\nA week passed, and I lied and told her that I'd already lost my virginity to a new college friend; she invited me over at 10:00 pm to her house, which was only 15 minutes away from where I grew up. The rest is history. \r\nWhat is your current relationship status?\r\nHappily in a long-term relationship!\r\nWhy do you prefer older women?\r\nI know the real answer is that I have some sort of mommy complex or that there's some screw loose in my head, but my reality is that the unconventional way my mind works aligns with people of a different generation. \r\nI'm not interested in “building a life” or starting a family because, through my life experiences, I've found fulfillment and solace with myself, and I seek a partner that elevates my life and what I already have going for me. \r\nBesides all of that, I find “age” on a woman very attractive. Overdone makeup (or glam), up-dos with hair tinsel and juvaderm injections are a huge turn-off for me. \r\nWhat are myths and misconceptions about dating and sex with older women?\r\nIt's difficult for me to answer this question regarding dating because in the past, most of my dates with older women came after sex — those dates were always good and easy!\r\nRELATED: Can Age-Gap Relationships Work? \r\nNow, let's talk about sex, baby… (I'm not even a dad)\r\nDo not underestimate the libido of a woman over the age of 60. Women know what they're doing, and more importantly, they know what they want. Listen to her, follow her movements, and relax. There may be a possibility that she's a little more nervous than you. \r\nWill you tell me a little bit about the romantic/relationship side?\r\nSure! I've had four serious relationships with women over the age of 60 that lasted more than two years. \r\nThough the ones prior to my current relationship didn't work out, I was fortunate to walk away from them with worlds of knowledge, experiences, and the kind of love that one would be so lucky to have. Falling in love with mature women is bliss and, simultaneously, a dangerous game. \r\nIn 2013, I met a woman on a trip to LA when I was living in NYC. We kept in touch and visited each other for a couple of years until I got a job on the West Coast and moved to the city of Angels for my career and to really be in the relationship. \r\nThis, I think, was the deepest and most intimate that I was in a relationship. I trusted her so much that I confided details of my past that I never thought would leave the dark halls of my mind. I felt safe. Fortunately and unfortunately, I was with her to the end. In 2017, she was diagnosed with a fatal disease and fought strong and hard for a year and a half. \r\nFalling in love and losing them before it's over is a thing that I wouldn't wish on my worst, I mean, worst enemy. Well, is it ever over for anyone?\r\nIt took me years to find myself out of the mounds of feelings of grief and misery, and to this day, I live with remnants of sadness and thoughts of what could have been. \r\nWhat advice do you have for other men dating cougars?\r\nThe women that I've met at this particular time in their lives gave it everything that they had in these relationships. \r\nThey worked through trials and errors and successfully navigated through prior relationships and \"situationships\" (as the zoomers call it) that there's no use in trying to change them; rather, you should learn more about her and where she is at in her own life and see if you are a missing piece to their jigsaw puzzle. \r\nDon't treat any woman as an object to fulfill your sexual kinks or fantasy — especially my cougar queens. Besides, technically, they could be your mother!\r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nWhat a Man's Relationship With His Mother Tells YouThese Redditors Taught Us All How *Not* To Pick Up Older WomenWhat Does It Mean to Have a 'Type' in a Dating Context?", "keywords": "Never, Have, Ever:, Hooked, With, Cougar", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "139", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/never-have-i-ever-hooked-up-with-a-cougar/askmen-lead-image-template-16-1714421995.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sexual-experiences/never-have-i-ever-hooked-up-with-a-cougar.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:21:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36865", "lang_id": "1", "title": "How to Be the Third in a Threesome", "title_slug": "how-to-be-the-third-in-a-threesome", "title_hash": "b94ee8b0a6eed3e7bc7e6558d75345c0", "summary": "Here's What You Need to Know About Being the Third in a Couple's Threesome", "content": "So, you’re considering being a guest star in a couple’s threesome.\r\nMaybe it’s a couple you’ve known for quite some time, or a pair you just met and felt a connection with. \r\nBeing a third in someone’s threesome can be fun and freeing. When done right, VIVA STREET’s relationship expert Annabelle Knight says it can also be personally fulfilling. \r\n“Being a third in a threesome can be an opportunity for personal growth and individual sexual exploration, allowing you to push your boundaries and fulfill your wildest threesome fantasies,” she explains. \r\nRELATED: Real-Life Threesome Stories Shared by People Who’ve Had One\r\nBut before you hop into bed with a couple, it’s important to establish boundaries, discuss expectations and be prepared for at least a little potential awkwardness. Here’s what you need to know about being a third in a threesome:\r\n1. Consider Potential Pitfalls\r\nThough it can largely depend on the situation, it’s likely safe to say that, when done right, being a third in someone’s threesome comes with more pros than cons. \r\nRELATED: Can Having a Threesome Completely Ruin a Relationship? \r\nHowever, it’s important to prepare for potential downsides before getting involved. \r\n“You might feel jealous, insecure or excluded,” Knight points out. \r\nDepending on your relationship with the couple, engaging in a threesome can also change whatever friendship dynamic you may have had initially. \r\nWhile you can prepare yourself to feel your feelings, there’s also a chance that one or both of your other threesome participants may experience feelings they weren’t prepared for mid-act. \r\nRELATED: Possible Consequences of a Threesome \r\nCommunicating beforehand (which we’ll get into next) can go a long way to help manage the emotions that can arise before, during and after a threesome happens. \r\nBut it’s hard to prepare for how you or others will feel ahead of doing something you haven’t tried before — especially something like being part of a threesome.\r\n2. Plan It Out With the Other Participants\r\n\"It’s essential to communicate openly, establish boundaries, and prioritize everyone’s comfort and well-being,” Knight stresses. \r\nIdeally, the bulk of this conversation should occur ahead of the threesome. \r\nRELATED: How to Discuss Having a Threesome \r\n“Discuss preferences, limits, and any concerns to ensure everyone feels safe and respected,” says Knight. “Approach these topics with sensitivity and openness, focusing on mutual respect and understanding.” \r\nDuring this discussion, make sure you’re not only making your voice a priority but also taking the time to listen and understand the other participants’ needs, boundaries and points of view. \r\nThis should include what each person feels comfortable with and what their significant other is OK with having you do to their partner. \r\nRELATED: How to Talk About Sex With a Partner \r\nThis kind of planning might not sound super sexy, but it’s crucial to avoid the worst-case scenarios that can come with a threesome. \r\n3. Have a Safe Word\r\nEven if you’ve had a productive pre-threesome conversation establishing boundaries, it’s still super important to have an agreed-upon safe word that all parties can use during the act itself. \r\n“This is a word (which should be something you’d be unlikely to say during sex normally) that means ‘stop,’” Knight explains. “Saying your safe word is an easy way to ensure you’ve got a no-questions-asked way of avoiding discomfort, staying safe and happy during the threesome.”\r\nRELATED: What She’s Thinking During the Threesome, Revealed\r\n4. Choose a Location\r\nWhere should you have your threesome? \r\nThe most common options on the table are likely your place, the couple’s residence, or a neutral location you rent out. \r\nRELATED: Navigating Having a Threesome in a Relationship \r\nKnight says that all of these come with pros and cons, which should be weighed out and discussed by all parties involved. \r\n“The couple involved, or the third might suggest their own home. However, this could carry emotional weight and have negative ramifications in the long run,” she explains. “A completely new location may feel less intimate, promising neutrality and ensuring everyone is participating on an equal footing.” \r\nHowever, this location likely comes with a price tag, unlike the other options. Still, if all three parties are on board, Knight says opting for a spot different from your own residences can add something extra. \r\nRELATED: What You Should Know About Hotel Sex \r\n“Booking a hotel room or holiday rental can also elevate how special the threesome seems, building positive anticipation, which in turn can heighten the experience for you,” she says. \r\n5. Check in During the Threesome\r\nEnthusiastic consent is the key to a successful threesome, particularly if you’re joining as the third. \r\n“The role of the third can vary but should involve respecting boundaries, communicating openly, and enhancing everyone’s pleasure,” says Knight. “Avoid assumptions and check in frequently to ensure everyone is comfortable.” \r\nPay close attention to body language, and verbally ask questions like “How does this feel?” and “Is this OK?” or even “Are you OK?” especially if things start to feel off. \r\nRELATED: Clever Dirty Talk Phrases That Are Also Sexual Consent Questions \r\n6. Have an Exit Strategy\r\nHow long should you stick around after you’ve done the deed? Knight suggests doing a bit of threesome aftercare to ensure all parties are feeling good before you depart. \r\n“After the threesome, consider discussing post-sex feelings and any need for emotional support,” she says. “This is called ‘after play,’ a form of self-care that allows for decompression of emotions through cuddling, conversation and reflection.” \r\nAfterward, if everyone feels good, Knight recommends respecting the couple’s wishes whether you hang around or head home. \r\nYou Might Also Dig: \r\nBest Threesome Sex Positions, IllustratedNever Have I Ever: Had a ThreesomeHow to Find a Third Partner for a Threesome", "keywords": "How, the, Third, Threesome", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "118", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://luna-askmen-images.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-to-be-the-third-in-a-threesome/askmen-lead-image-template-17-1714424347.png?#", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "97", "post_url": "https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex-tips/how-to-be-the-third-in-a-threesome.html", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:21:00", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36731", "lang_id": "1", "title": "6 Tips for Keeping Your Large Backyard in Top Shape", "title_slug": "6-tips-for-keeping-your-large-backyard-in-top-shape", "title_hash": "b20781376946ee7795c2268ce50a3f1a", "summary": "Maintaining a large backyard is both a luxury and a challenge. With more space comes the greater responsibility of keeping it lush, healthy, and welcoming. Whether you’re a seasoned gardener or a novice looking to improve your outdoor space, the right strategies can transform your backyard into a personal oasis. In this guide, we’ll explore six essential tips for maintaining a large backyard effortlessly. From lawn care to creative landscaping, these insights will help you make the most of your outdoor area, ensuring it remains in top shape all year round. Play Around With Landscaping Transforming your large backyard into an appealing and functional space begins with creative landscaping. The vast canvas allows for the incorporation of various elements, from flowering gardens and shrub borders to winding paths and water features. Start by envisioning the space’s potential uses – a serene retreat, a playground, or an outdoor entertaining area. Incorporating creative landscaping for larg", "content": "

Maintaining a large backyard is both a luxury and a challenge. With more space comes the greater responsibility of keeping it lush, healthy, and welcoming. Whether you’re a seasoned gardener or a novice looking to improve your outdoor space, the right strategies can transform your backyard into a personal oasis. In this guide, we’ll explore six essential tips for maintaining a large backyard effortlessly. From lawn care to creative landscaping, these insights will help you make the most of your outdoor area, ensuring it remains in top shape all year round. Play Around With Landscaping Transforming your large backyard into an appealing and functional space begins with creative landscaping. The vast canvas allows for the incorporation of various elements, from flowering gardens and shrub borders to winding paths and water features. Start by envisioning the space’s potential uses – a serene retreat, a playground, or an outdoor entertaining area. Incorporating creative landscaping for large backyards can add depth, texture, and color to your outdoor space while also providing essential privacy and shelter from the elements. Play around with various ideas, and remember to carefully consider factors such as maintenance requirements, water usage, and sunlight exposure. Design Functional Zones Creating functional […]

The post 6 Tips for Keeping Your Large Backyard in Top Shape appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": ", Tips, for, Keeping, Your, Large, Backyard, Top, Shape", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "141", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/shape1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/tips-for-keeping-large-backyard-in-shape/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:12:04", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36730", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Divorce Drama Demystified: 6 Secrets to Navigate Legal Battles", "title_slug": "divorce-drama-demystified-6-secrets-to-navigate-legal-battles", "title_hash": "45f53a5bb217ab3be718262016024999", "summary": "Divorce can be an emotionally charged and legally complex process. When facing a legal battle during this event, it’s critical to approach the situation with a clear strategy and an understanding of what may lie ahead. This post will provide you with a straightforward but candid approach to dealing with the problem by proffering essential tips to help you confidently handle all aspects of your divorce in relation to the legalities. Hire A Reputable And Experienced Lawyer A reputable attorney with a proven track record can make all the difference in achieving a favorable outcome. They possess the expertise to guide you through the intricacies of the legal system and develop a strategy that can lead all parties to a favorable outcome. These experienced divorce lawyers in Winston-Salem note that finding the right lawyer can help you avoid mistakes that might cost you dearly down the line. They have vast knowledge of the nuances of the law and stay up-to-date with the latest changes in leg", "content": "

Divorce can be an emotionally charged and legally complex process. When facing a legal battle during this event, it’s critical to approach the situation with a clear strategy and an understanding of what may lie ahead. This post will provide you with a straightforward but candid approach to dealing with the problem by proffering essential tips to help you confidently handle all aspects of your divorce in relation to the legalities. Hire A Reputable And Experienced Lawyer A reputable attorney with a proven track record can make all the difference in achieving a favorable outcome. They possess the expertise to guide you through the intricacies of the legal system and develop a strategy that can lead all parties to a favorable outcome. These experienced divorce lawyers in Winston-Salem note that finding the right lawyer can help you avoid mistakes that might cost you dearly down the line. They have vast knowledge of the nuances of the law and stay up-to-date with the latest changes in legislation. They have the ability to foresee possible obstacles and take proactive measures to safeguard your interests. They can research the topic, talk to relevant specialists, and compile evidence to support your argument because of […]

The post Divorce Drama Demystified: 6 Secrets to Navigate Legal Battles appeared first on DeeDee's Blog.

", "keywords": "Divorce, Drama, Demystified:, Secrets, Navigate, Legal, Battles", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "131", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/legal1.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "20", "post_url": "https://deedeesblog.com/divorce-secrets-to-navigate-legal-battles/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-30 05:12:02", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36358", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Our Friend and Valued Colleague, Sue Johnson", "title_slug": "our-friend-and-valued-colleague-sue-johnson", "title_hash": "b924bd93e0cc0992dbb18f366faba630", "summary": "\nWe are so sad to announce that Sue Johnson has died at the age of 76 from cancer. She was … Continued\nThe post Our Friend and Valued Colleague, Sue Johnson appeared first on The Gottman Institute.", "content": "

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We are so sad to announce that Sue Johnson has died at the age of 76 from cancer. She was … Continued

The post Our Friend and Valued Colleague, Sue Johnson appeared first on The Gottman Institute.

", "keywords": "Our, Friend, and, Valued, Colleague, Sue, Johnson", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "134", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/JG-Summit-Crowd_2500x1667_v2-992x540.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "166", "post_url": "https://www.gottman.com/blog/our-friend-and-valued-colleague-sue-johnson/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-28 15:53:39", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36357", "lang_id": "1", "title": "True Life Story: I Am Tired Of My Eleven Years Of Marriage-Loneliness & Depression Want To Finish Me", "title_slug": "true-life-story-i-am-tired-of-my-eleven-years-of-marriage-loneliness-depression-want-to-finish-me", "title_hash": "998f40d86aacc2eba33f891dfa3c6925", "summary": "True Life Story: I Am Tired Of My Eleven Years Of Marriage-Loneliness & Depression Want To Finish Me Hello Lively Stones, My name is Sera (not real name). I need advise: Should I file for a divorce or just continue to pretend in my marriage? I have been married for 11 years with 2 children. […]", "content": " $\"True$

True Life Story: I Am Tired Of My Eleven Years Of Marriage-Loneliness & Depression Want To Finish Me

Hello Lively Stones,

My name is Sera (not real name). I need advise: Should I file for a divorce or just continue to pretend in my marriage? I have been married for 11 years with 2 children. I got married to my husband right out of school, he was the man that took my virginity. I got carried away that a wealthy man proposed to me right out of school. I was carried away with the big wedding, cars, gifts,etc. After we got married, I got pregnant with twins. My husband told me that he does not want me to work.

My duty was to look after the children and be a good wife to him. Being a good wife meant, look pretty for him and open my legs for s3x whenever he was horny. He never asked me one day how I feel…he never cared if I was happy or sad or anything. Yet, he is a cheat and that is where things began to get very lonely for me, just staying at home all these years just looking after the house and the children.

Several times I tried to convince my husband to let me work or do business and he always refused. I tried to show him how to be romantic but he got upset and said he is not an English man. The cheating and the loneliness drove me into depression. Especially when I found out he has several baby mamas all around town. When I confronted him, he told me he is man and no one can tell him how he can live his life. I wanted to leave the marriage but I had no money or job, hubby made sure I relied on him 100% for anything financial. So I was stuck in the marriage.

In my desperation, I had an affair with my children’s lesson teacher. The affair lasted almost six months until I got pregnant. Out of fear, I had an abortion and I ended the relationship. After ending the affair, the depression came back. I was lonely again. I attempted to end my life several times but only the thought of my children being motherless kept me alive.

With the pressure of family members, my husband was convinced to send me and the children abroad. We relocated to Canada 2 years ago. Living in Canada was even lonelier because I still am not allowed to work. My husband sends us money for everything we need. I am only allowed to go to school where I met someone who I have been having seeing for the last eight months. For the first time in my eleven years of marriage, I am happy. My lover makes me feel alive…having someone who talks to you about everything and allows you to dream big is everything.

I want to divorce my husband. The love is no longer there…he comes to visit us from time to time but we dont have anything to talk about except the kids. Clearly, the marriage feels like a contract…just to be his wife and bear his children. My husband is not emotional, at least, not to me. He has never said I love you one day in this marriage. He provides yes but does not love. I have felt like I have been imprisoned for many years.

More From Lively Stones

My only problem with the idea of divorce is that people are going to say I betrayed him after he sent us abroad but no one is seeing that the marriage is not working out…my family wants me to stay and persevere…yes, they are enjoying the money from my husband ..me too….I admit, it was my fault…I never thought I would want love more than money….I was also carried away by money even though I knew this man never loved me and ..back home in Nigeria, I could never summon the courage to divorce cos my husband would do anything possible to stop it…including taking my children away from me.

Right now, I want to free myself from this prison. Money is no longer enough….I need a man to love me and there is a guy in my life…I also want to work….I will get a job soon as I complete my program. I am tired of pretending in this marriage. It is no longer healthy for me. Is it not better to go our separate ways so everyone can be really happy with how they choose to live their lives?

I wish I did not resort to this. I know many African marriages where love is not present. Some of my friends and even husband friends have what we call trophy wives…I know the women are cheating or at least using s3x tools to satisfy their intimacy needs but for me, it is not enough…. I was young and materialistic when I got married…but happiness eluded me ever since. My family will not support my decision to divorce but tell me, do you see another way out for me or my husband? I know I may receive alot of backlash…but what else can I do? Have I not suffered enough?

Anonymous

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True Life Story: I Caught My Wife To Be Still Talking To Her Ex

Dear Lively Stones,

My girlfriend (Geena) and are planning to get married but I just discovered she is still talking to her ex. We dated off and on for a few years before I relocated to Bayelsa for my job transfer. During that time, our relationship suffered long distance challenges, even though I loved my girl, I could see that the job was making it difficult for us to communicate regularly. I work in a private oil company and the schedule is so tight as their Accountant. My girl complained alot that I was not picking my calls or calling her regularly.

We had a tough argument and my girlfriend broke up with me. I was upset that she was not being patient but she too was upset that I was neglecting her. So breaking up seemed like we had no choice. Eventually, I heard she was dating someone and I could see from her socials that she was living large…who ever was the man in her life was clearly spending alot on her.

Anyways, we both moved on. I have not been in a serious relationship cos girls around here, that is story for another day. Its been a casual thing for me. Two years past, I got a promotion and was sent back to Lagos Head office. I did not contact my Geena (my ex) cos I knew she too had moved on. But as fate would have it, I ran into her at former mutual friend’s birthday party. I did not recognize her cos she was different. It turned out her ass was bigger than I remember…we said hello and we both didnt speak at the party.

However, a few days later, she chatted me…said she was glad we met and before you knew it… she was asking me if I was seeing anyone. I told her no…she then shows up at my place…we hooked up and truly, the attraction was still there. I asked and she told me she broke up with her fiancé….that the guy wanted to control her…bla bla bla…she then told me that the guy made her get a BBL…that is why her ass is so huge… I was like…that is crazy.

Much as I disliked BBL or girls who do it, Geena and I have been going steady and I told her I wanted us to get married, she agreed. We have chosen the first week of June for our marriage introduction. One of my sisters called me and asked why my girl got a BBL, I explained that it happened when we were apart. She then asked…how will we be maintaining it? I was like, maintaining it? That was when I learnt that anyone who does BBL have to follow up maintenance procedures.

I never knew about this and my sister said its expensive too. So I asked my girl, how she pays for the BBL maintenance….she said she manages with her own money. I told her to think about removing the BBL…she said its too dangerous to remove but my sister said its better to remove it. Anyway, I never thought much about it. Its her body and she can do whatever pleases her…besides, I don’t judge women who want to look good. But the problem now is, I just found out that my girl is still seeing that guy that made her get a BBL.

This happened because the guy found out she was getting married and got upset that Geena was engaged and was still collecting money from him. So he sent her a message which I stumbled on. After reading the message…Geena did not deny it…she said she was still collecting money from the guy but they are not sleeping together. Why collect money from him then? She said because he was the one who made her get BBL and so she collects the money for her BBL maintenance.

Truth, the guy stated in his message that Geena has refused to have s3x with him yet she collects money from him. So that confirms they are not together but she was collecting money cos of the BBL. To me, I was quite upset but I se her point…they guy made her do the BBL in the first place… My only anger is, if she continues to collect money, he will definitely want s3x with her…so I told her to stop collecting money and fund the BBL maintenance by herself or she can take out the BBL if she cannot maintain it.

The later on, I discovered by reading online that the BBL maintenance is not supposed to be until about 5 or 10 years depending on your body. So I asked Geena why she collected money for BBL maintenance when its not up to 5 years she did it. Geena then confessed that she did not know, she said she thought its after 3 years so she wanted the guy to pay for the BBL…Geena has asked for my forgiveness and said she was genuinely thinking it was 3 years. I felt very confused and betrayed.

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Please Geena is telling lies….I do not believe she does not know when the BBL maintenance is due…I feel she was still collecting money from this guy and this guy was hoping they get back together…the guy was really shocked that Geena was engaged….Too many lies. I feel Geena is still interested in the guy and his money and even though the guy’s message said that Geena has been dodging him, meaning they have not had s3x for but Geena asking him for money is making the guy have hope.

To me, Geena was deceiving the guy and eating his money while with me….I do not like such a behavior but her excuse was she was saving money for BBL maintenance…can you imagine? Cos of my anger, Geena has now agreed to remove the BBL, to prove that she will no longer be talking to her ex….I only wish she was honest…she should have cut off all ties with the guy…no matter the excuse…..she has apologized and I want to forgive Geena and move on but I do not want to be played for a fool…

In your opinion, can I still trust Geena?

Anonymous

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "True, Life, Story:, Caught, Wife, Still, Talking, Her", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "137", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Talking-To-Her-Ex.jpg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/true-life-story-i-caught-my-wife-to-be-still-talking-to-her-ex/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-28 15:53:35", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36355", "lang_id": "1", "title": "I’m queer and in relationship with Ashlyn Harris – American actress Sophia Bush reveals a year after ending her marriage", "title_slug": "im-queer-and-in-relationship-with-ashlyn-harris-american-actress-sophia-bush-reveals-a-year-after-ending-her-marriage", "title_hash": "4ca50981e5f1590a5865b0bcdcddb392", "summary": "Hollywood Actress, Sophia Bush has come out as queer, a year after announcing that her short-lived marriage had ended. The 41-year-old star of “One Tree Hill” has opened up about her love life in an intimate feature-length magazine article. Writing in Glamour, she described the cold feet she experienced before marrying entrepreneur Grant Hughes in […]", "content": " $\"I'm$

Hollywood Actress, Sophia Bush has come out as queer, a year after announcing that her short-lived marriage had ended.

The 41-year-old star of “One Tree Hill” has opened up about her love life in an intimate feature-length magazine article.

Writing in Glamour, she described the cold feet she experienced before marrying entrepreneur Grant Hughes in July 2022.

She admitted that they “threw one of the greatest wedding weekends ever,” but went on to open up about the difficult year that followed.

Bush said she kept trying to tell herself that “relationships are hard” and “marriage takes compromise” but ultimately it was the “heartbreak of the fertility process” that led her to reassess her relationship.

$\"I'm$

She wrote:

This realization, she said, prompted her to take some time out by accepting a theatrical role in London’s West End.

Then, returning home to LA last summer, Bush grew closer to a group of women who were also going through relationship breakdowns and other issues at home.

Among them was former soccer player Ashlyn Harris, whom Bush said she had known for four years and who was splitting from her wife and former teammate, Ali Krieger.

She described “falling in love” with Harris, adding: “I sort of hate the notion of having to come out in 2024. But I’m deeply aware that we are having this conversation in a year when we’re seeing the most aggressive attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community in modern history.

Do you have a story to share? Or if you are having depression or feeling like ending it all. We want to hear all about it and help you. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309

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", "keywords": "I’m, queer, and, relationship, with, Ashlyn, Harris, –, American, actress, Sophia, Bush, reveals, year, after, ending, her, marriage", "user_id": "72", "category_id": "27", "image_big": null, "image_mid": null, "image_small": null, "image_slider": null, "image_mime": "jpg", "is_slider": "0", "is_picked": "0", "hit": "123", "slider_order": "1", "optional_url": "", "post_type": "post", "video_url": "", "video_embed_code": "", "image_url": "https://livelystones.ng/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Im-queer-and-in-relationship-with-Ashlyn-Harris-American-actress-Sophia-Bush-reveals-a-year-after-ending-her-marriage.jpeg", "need_auth": "0", "feed_id": "165", "post_url": "https://livelystones.ng/im-queer-and-in-relationship-with-ashlyn-harris-american-actress-sophia-bush-reveals-a-year-after-ending-her-marriage/", "show_post_url": "1", "visibility": "1", "status": "1", "created_at": "2024-04-28 15:53:33", "username": "DO NEWSFEED", "user_slug": "donewsfeed", "category_name": "Relationship", "category_slug": "relationship", "category_parent_id": "0", "parent_category_slug": null, "comment_count": "0" }, { "id": "36181", "lang_id": "1", "title": "Important Variables of Post-Field Diagnostics", "title_slug": "important-variables-of-post-field-diagnostics", "title_hash": "82824e957269dacd4470093e12aebad4", "summary": "After a night (or day) out in the field, you need to review your outing to see what worked – and didn’t. Focus on these key variables for the biggest improvements.\nHey guys and welcome back.\n\nContents\nI. The Three Dimensions of Assessment\nII. Specific Interactions\n\n\nExternal Factors\n\n\nSocial Factors\n\n\nIII. Putting It All Together\nIV. Comparative Assessments\nV. Conclusion\n\nLast week, I discussed post-field diagnostics, the assessment you conduct after an outing to pinpoint mistakes and highlight positive moves that help your interaction.\nWhy should you invest your time in post-field diagnostics? The answer is simple-it's a surefire way to maximize learning from each outing and boost your success rate. As you become better at post-field diagnostics, your progress will soar. You'll develop a profound understanding of pickup and seduction, women, and social dynamics over time. This knowledge will empower you to calibrate, leading to better performance in-field: you intuitively know what to", "content": "

$\"key$ After a night (or day) out in the field, you need to review your outing to see what worked – and didn’t. Focus on these key variables for the biggest improvements.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Contents

II. Specific Interactions

\n
External Factors
\n
\n
Social Factors
\n

III. Putting It All Together

IV. Comparative Assessments