Silver on the Tree

Merry Christmas!

dk323 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 04:31:36 GMT

Hi, it's been some time since I posted, but--

I just wanted to wish a very Merry Christmas!! to those who celebrate. Or Happy Holidays in general.

I hope everyone had a wonderful time celebrating the holidays with family and friends. I was able to have the day off this past Friday, but unfortunately I must return to work tomorrow... no "Day After Christmas" sales to partake in. But I'm not much of a shopper anyway. :p

Happy Fourth of July!

dk323 — Mon, 04 Jul 2016 23:48:34 GMT

I hope all fellow Americans are enjoying themselves over this Fourth of July weekend. :-)

I'll just be here avoiding working on stories. :p Because doing a rewatch of The Flash is much more important. *nods*

Sherlock BBC fanvid recs

dk323 — Sun, 19 Jan 2014 00:50:10 GMT

I think pretty much all of them center around Sherlock & John's friendship but "His Last Vow" and "Pressure Point" have some well-placed voiceovers (more voiceovers on Pressure Point)... love the bits with Molly's voice when Sherlock is shot and he hears her voice aiding him as he determines which way to fall.

Three Fanvid Recs

His Last Vow (vidder = SecretlyToDream / Loki):

~ * ~

Pressure Point (vidder = Pteryx):

~ * ~

Bleeding Out For You (vidder = Phoenixacid):
I love this song by Imagine Dragons ♥ ♥ So pleased to see it used for Sherlock vid. :)

PL 2013: That Age-Old Lament ~ Masterpost ~

dk323 — Sun, 15 Sep 2013 01:02:49 GMT

Title: That Age-Old Lament
Author: dk323
Artist: superfluous_emi

Pairings/characters: Arthur/Merlin, Hunith/OC, Mordred/OC, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Freya, Morgana

Original Characters

Faeries: Pip (aka Philip), Clara, Bran, Desmond, Ciaran
Humans: Char, Rilian, Ophelia, Matthew Stanton, Tancred, Valerius, Merida, Colin, Timothy

Rating: R
Word Count: 64,160
Warnings:
Minor character death, prostitution and underage sex, attempted non-con of 14-year old (involving OC), OC contemplating suicide (doesn’t go through with it), infidelity, unwilling possession

Summary: Weeks after Merlin reveals his magic to Arthur, Merlin is frustrated when Arthur keeps him waiting about what he plans to do with Merlin and the magic ban in Camelot. Leaving Camelot to investigate a powerful magical feeling, Merlin doesn’t expect to reunite with a now grown-up Mordred. Or that he’d be looking after a Faery-possessed five-year old blond boy, and venturing into the Faery Realm. With Merlin away, Arthur is trapped in his own castle by an aging spell cast by a spiteful Morgana. Merlin seeks help from the King of the Faery Realm's Thistlewood to cure Arthur. Unfortunately his plea for aid has unforeseen consequences.
Author's notes:
This story takes place two months before the start of S5 making it a Series 5 AU (magic reveal done earlier). I wrote this story during a busy time in my life, but since this is the last Paperlegends, I couldn't resist participating.

Since this story deals with death (with a light at the end of the tunnel ;)), I thought to look up quotes relating to death and found it interesting that there were quite a few quotes from JK Rowling's Harry Potter book series. I'm one of those who was a big HP fan back in the day (just as Merlin has won me over heart and soul for these past four years ;)).

I dedicate this story to my love of HP and the excitement I had for the series as the books were released and the movies came out. That's why I took out and dusted off my hardcover copy of the final HP book and chose the quote from The Tale of the Three Brothers -- consequently a favorite sequence of mine from The Deathly Hallows Part 1 film.

First, I want to give a very big Thank You to the_muppet for running this challenge these past four years. You're amazing with how smoothly you run this challenge. Your excellent modship will be missed. :( I appreciate your willingness to accommodate when this story didn't want to cooperate with me. You're a star. :)

Also, thank you so much to my amazing artist, superfluous_emi. I'm in awe of your beautiful work that you drew for this story. You're a true art wizard. Each art piece inspired me and motivated me to continue writing. *three cheers for you*

I'd like to thank my betas: rotrude, aaweth_edain, kleinefee92 and tu_es_mi_amour. Thank you for your support and invaluable feedback! Your advice was very helpful and helped me to reevaluate certain scenes of the story.

Artist's notes: Available at Artist's Masterpost.
Story link: AO3 (Two Chapters)
Art link: Artist's post on LJ | Artist's post on AO3
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.

Paperlegends 2013...loving this fic

dk323 — Sat, 17 Aug 2013 04:56:20 GMT

lol, couldn't resist using my chest icon. :p *whistles* Kind of wish I wasn't still doggedly working on my own Paperlegends story so I can continue reading, "A Beacon In The Dark" by Zairaalbereo I'm loving this fic so far.

I've read 62% of the story at this point (says my ever knowing Kindle, lol) so I can't speak for the entirety of the story, but I'm so pleased that I made this my first story choice to read for PL 2013. I am not disappointed. *grins* It's a long story (96K!), so it'll take me a bit of time to get through the story and then I'll see about which story to read next...

A Beacon In The Dark was posted August 2nd, so I imagine by now a lot of people have read it. I hope for those who haven't read it, they could put it on their reading list. The hurt/comfort and the lovely progression of Arthur and Merlin's relationship (or I guess rekindling after the years apart) have won me over.

Merlin vid rec: Dirt In My Eyes by secretlytodream

dk323 — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 19:55:34 GMT

Vidder: Loki (SecretlytoDream on YouTube & LJ)
Title: Dirt In My Eyes
Song: Dirty and Clean
Artist: Stephanie Schneiderman
Warnings: character death
Category: modern AU
Characters/Pairings: Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Merlin wasn't the one who waited.

My thoughts (vidder's detailed summary below vid): This is such a heartbreaking but beautifully put together vid. It deals with the AU idea of Arthur waiting for Merlin's return...Merlin died back in the days of Camelot, and unfortunately when Arthur finds him again in present day, Merlin doesn't remember his past life and he's fallen into a bad way (clips used from his role in the film, "Parked"). Sadly, Merlin dies again in present day leaving Arthur's reunion with Merlin short-lived. :(

I love that the vidder put in Cathal's line from that movie about the leaf breaking from its branch and how it's a beautiful thing.

Such a great song too! :)

YT link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muJ0E_ylKfY
Also, Livejournal link to comment there if you want: http://graphicinmotion.livejournal.com/38539.html

Vidder's summary: [...] AU story where Arthur was a modern day musician by day and a Fight club style fighter by night. Basically it's a mix up of the characters he played in his different projects. While Merlin is pretty much like his character from Parked - a troubled young man who made quite a few wrong choices in life and who - obviously - doesn't remember anything about his previous life, unlike Arthur.

They meet by chance in the street and then - the plot thickens! - Arthur finds Merlin in the street, beaten and hurt and well, then he dies. Again.

Oh and yes, Merlin did tell Arthur about his magic. I mean, I thought, why Arthur has to die every single time? So I decided to explore another twist - what if Merlin was the one who died and Arthur - who waited for him quite a few years? And then, just when it seemed like they found each other again Merlin just had to go and get himself killed. Everything that's happened in between is left to your own interpretation/imagination.

Merlin vid recs

dk323 — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 19:55:35 GMT

Two Merlin fanvids with the song, Demons by Imagine Dragons.

Modern!AU (Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Morgana, Mordred, Kara, Freya...) vid:

Vidder: Toufinus (posted January 18, 2013)

~~ I love the creativity here and how the vidder used clips of their other roles to give that modern feel for these characters. It's like a vid trailer for a Modern AU! Merlin fanfic. :)

Each character is haunted by their past lives and try to cope with remembering. Some characters aren't sure what they're remembering exactly, and others know they're remembering their past lives.

Vidder's summary (explains it a bit better :p): Arthur meets Gwen obviously. Merlin tries to redeem himself with Morgana, becoming her friend. He also finds Freya who is very attracted by the lake. :p Mordred is very confused by his dream (Arthur's too by the way).

Canon vid:

Vidder: ImperviousAffinity (posted December 11, 2012 before the S5 finale)

~~ Fitting song choice and the clips showed some of the drama/conflict in the show throughout the seasons (a lot of S4 and S5).

Baby fawn in bird's nest + vid rec (Narnia: lift me up, let me go)

dk323 — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 02:50:51 GMT

http://splodefromcute.livejournal.com/2004470.html

Awww ♥ ♥

Narnia: Lift me up, let me go
Short (and sweet ;)) vid, but great song choice and use of clips (from all three movies (The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, Voyage of the Dawn Treader).

Vidder: Golden Heart
Posted March 5th, 2013.

~ Midnight Merlin S5 Fanvid Rec ~ The prophets do not lie

dk323 — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 06:02:46 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc9CJ9CDUsY

Vidder: Toufinus
The theme is action...the vid is less than 2 minutes long (1:48) and the music is very fitting and shows a great snapshot of S5 focusing on the prophecy (Gaius does the voiceover of bits of the prophecy with scenes acting out those parts). And basically, it's another epic vid. It makes me happy that this vid received no dislikes on YouTube -- I can't imagine who'd dislike this vid anyway. There are 163 LIKES & 1,788 views (not enough! :() with the vid having been posted January 21, 2013.

Merlin fanvid rec: ~ to rise again

dk323 — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 21:15:31 GMT

The second half is soo damn epic. Seriously. This is more focused on Merlin's (the character not the show) destined greatness and some Arthur too.

I only watched this video yesterday...I had it saved to a playlist for some time, but didn't watch it properly until the other day (how remiss of me :(). And I'm glad I did because I now know how awesome it is. :)

The beginning throws you off a bit (still nicely done, but starts out slow and the vid builds toward epic levels...like some movies :p). Stay until the end because OMG. Thank goodness for fanvidders. :D

Vidder: KatrinDepp (posted Feb. 15, 2013 and after only 11 days, the vid has over 8,600 hits and 1,098 likes. OVER ONE THOUSAND. All deserved. :D)

~ Arthur/Merlin fanvid rec of epicness ~

dk323 — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 07:04:00 GMT

Vid by AloraVideos ♥ ♥, Song is World on Fire by Les Friction. Posted February 6, 2013 so it includes clips from S5.

I have a lot of love for this song (World on Fire) and I was excited such a brilliantly done A/M fanvid was created using this song. There are also very nicely placed voiceovers. And Mordred is a part of the vid...as a part of the tragedy of Arthur's death and the prophecy. And the magic reveal is in this too. Just love it all. :)

(I still mean to rec these three Merlin fanvids...possibly I'll leave that for March.)

Awww...when dogs can't resist helping out their owners ;)

dk323 — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 05:49:00 GMT

Repost from one of my favorite LJ comms (splodefromcute): Source link

From comments somewhere (poster didn't say where the comment came from :p):
"This clever Springer taught himself to do this! He just watched his owner, who is a shepherd, and went from there....amazing!"

Being Human (UK) ~ 5x01

dk323 — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 10:56:00 GMT

I can't believe the series is getting cancelled! It seems so wrong since season (S5) that's airing now is only the first season with the all-new trio. I was really hoping we'd get a few more seasons with them! :( Grrr...

Hal, Tom, and Alex have a good dynamic going. I was so looking forward to this season after the cliffhanger last season. Poor Hal. :( Love how he just couldn't take it anymore seeing the complete mess the house had become because he'd been tied up and couldn't clean things up... what a nightmare. :p

And he created a roster of tasks too...(Annie did that I believe last season). LOL. That whole scene was too funny.

Then a bit WTH with Hal turning a dying man into a vampire because he couldn't just let him die...although turning him into a vampire doesn't seem like the best solution. Kind of funny that he brought the man back home and hid him tied up in the basement without telling Tom or Alex. So when Tom and Alex find out that oh, there's a man who happens to be a vampire in the basement... um yeah, Hal has some explaining to do. Haha.

Loved that little girl who was the only other Old One (in addition to Hal) left alive after what happened in S4. I LOLed at her "But make sure they have paper and pencils so I could draw ponies and shit." Must be weird to look like a child but be an Old One as well. :p

They've brought in the devil! Yeah, if that doesn't sound like a way to end the show with the biggest villain ever, I don't know what does. Should be interesting to see how things unravel with the devil out and about causing trouble.

Hal and Tom get new jobs at a restaurant (since they were both fired from the diner). The same restaurant the devil is hanging out in.

Hal's "job interview"...yeah...love Tom's bemusement at Hal getting the job so easily. :p

Alex unfortunately finds out that her body had been returned to her family and she'd been laid to rest... yet she's still a ghost and she hasn't moved on yet as she believed she should. :(

...which leads to Alex's poorly thought-out decision to let out the newly-made vampire... she felt bad for him being kept locked away and not being able to see his loved ones (and she's still upset at the knowledge that she hasn't passed on when her family has already begun making peace with her dying).

The Cleaners take care of the new vampire -- but I wonder what they have planned to do with him. Government funding for the Cleaners and their program to keep the supernatural hidden from humans is going to be cut in a few months, I believe? So that'll be a big problem...what with all the creatures they have contained.

Preview for the next episode: It looks like Hal and Tom have a bit of a food fight? IDEK. Just felt like pointing that out. Muahaha. Should be fun.

Pretty graphics from Tumblr [RECS of awesome]

dk323 — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 06:33:45 GMT

This person took images from different sources to make his fairytale (or kind of fairytales as King Arthur is more of a legend/tragedy) picspams...like a different, intriguing look at different fairytales. I'm including the King Arthur and Beauty and the Beast (two of my favorites :)) picspams.

Fairytale-ish picspam of King Arthur // Arthurian legend

Source: http://droo216.tumblr.com/post/36005743404/fairy-tale-ish-picspam-king-arthur

~ What I love about this one is the use of Gandalf in the Merlin role. You can see the sword in the stone and the round table is taken from Merlin.

(It's due to angelfireeast reblogging the King Arthur picspam that made me aware of this Tumblr user. :) So thanks for that, Angelfireeast. :D)

And here's the Beauty and the Beast one

http://droo216.tumblr.com/post/35081531619/fairy-tale-picspam-beauty-and-the-beast

He has other fairytale picspams you can check out here:
http://droo216.tumblr.com/tagged/fairy-tale-graphics

Lastly he did a gifspam with the theme of epic fantasy (for a challenge at another Tumblr). And it's pretty epic. :p Since it's multiple gifs, I think it's just better to just link to the post to save the trouble of waiting for the gifs to load.

http://avalonsilver.tumblr.com/post/41999053124/summcohen-fangirl-challenge-01-03-genres#notes (using link from my reblog...I think there was a double post at the main link?)

EPIC FANTASY GIFSPAM includes gifs from: #merlin #lord of the rings #once upon a time #pirates of the caribbean #game of thrones #legend of the seeker #harry potter #the mummy. Cool to see these different shows/films come together in an Epic Fantasy theme. For me personally, the only one I'm unfamiliar with is The Mummy. I loved the inclusion of Legend of the Seeker as that show could always use all the love.

~ * ~

I did say I'd rec some fanvids, didn't I? :p That'll happen. *nods*

Merlin fic: A King's Final Wish (post 5x13)

dk323 — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 10:36:15 GMT

Title: A King’s Final Wish
Author: dk323
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur (endgame), Merlin/OC
Word Count: 4,024
Content/Warnings: Post 5x13 (starting before the present day ending though)
Summary: Arthur can’t bear to see Merlin unhappy and alone, so he does something about it.
Author's Notes: This is a birthday present for angelfireeast. I hope you enjoy this. ♥ Happy Birthday!

Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.

~ * ~

A hundred years had passed since Arthur’s death. Arthur watched as Merlin never failed to visit the Lake of Avalon. He appeared to spend a lot of his time by the shore of the lake. Arthur hoped that Merlin at least had a home to live out his days in. That he wasn’t living outside, the fire his only source of warmth.

Arthur dearly wished he could reach out to Merlin, tell – no – demand of him to move on with his life. To be happy, to have a fulfilling life. To come back to the site of his funeral for a hundred years was unnatural.

Even if Merlin was the most powerful sorcerer to have ever existed and blessed with immortality – although Arthur could see in Merlin’s eyes that this ‘blessing’ was more of a curse --, he was still human. To Arthur, Merlin was still Merlin. His servant and close confidante with flaws and faults like any human. And since Merlin was human, he shouldn’t be grieving this long, so lost in the past.

It hurt Arthur to see Merlin alone knowing how his heart ached for Arthur. The former King of Camelot knew this feeling well because he felt the same for Merlin. His heart ached for him, his body and soul was full of love and affection for the amiable yet infuriating man he’d grown to love and call friend. The truest friend he’d ever had.

Arthur felt like what he had said to Merlin before he’d died hadn’t been enough. His ‘thank you’ seemed inadequate, lacking, in return for Merlin’s devotion and loyalty to him. But he couldn’t think of any proper way to reward the man, the sorcerer, he owed so much to. Arthur didn’t miss the fact that he wouldn’t have lived as long as he’d had without Merlin’s vigilant watch over him.

Merlin had been the guardian angel that had helped him with the unforgettable blue ball of light that time when Arthur was stubbornly determined to save Merlin’s life – for Arthur could have never lived with himself to have Merlin die so that he might live.

All that time. All those years. Merlin had been his secret guardian angel for years and Arthur had been unaware.

Well now, Arthur would be Merlin’s guardian angel. He had to see him, advise him about what he should do. For Arthur couldn’t watch Merlin live so miserably. Merlin had had years, decades, to grieve Arthur’s loss. It was time for him to move on, to start truly living again, make the most of his immortal life.

It was Arthur’s greatest wish to see Merlin smiling again, laughing again. Even be a father because Arthur couldn’t think of a more loving man than Merlin.

He spoke to the Lady of the Lake for only she could allow him to see Merlin. Arthur knew she would understand. She cared for Merlin and she would want him to be happy.

“I can’t let Merlin be like this. I need to speak to him face-to-face,” Arthur explained to her.

“It is not your time to return, Arthur Pendragon.”

“I know.” Arthur said, bowing his head.

“But I share your concerns about Merlin. I can allow you to visit him in his dreams. If anyone can get through to him, you can.”

“Thank you, My Lady,” Arthur said solemnly.

~ * ~

Merlin could scarcely believe it. He saw Arthur alive before his eyes. Yet he looked like a ghost, pale and grey.

“Arthur…Arthur, is it truly you?” Merlin uttered in hope.

Arthur smiled, looking as happy as Merlin felt. “Yes it is,” he assured her. “You’re dreaming, Merlin. I came to tell you something.”

“What is it? What do you need to tell me?” Merlin asked, overwhelmed with emotion to see Arthur again no matter if it was in the midst of his dreams.

“My final wish for you. It has been a hundred years, Merlin. While I’m flattered at your devotion to me, I can’t let you continue to do this. Please move on with your life. I want you to be happy, to smile and laugh again. I want to see tears of happiness not of sorrow.”

“I miss you so much,” Merlin only said, sounding defeated.

“I know. I wish I can return to you now, but it’s not my time yet. I know it’s difficult for you to listen to me, Merlin…it has been one of your more enduring qualities, but if there’s one time you heed my words, let it be now. I know it won’t be easy yet know this. I would be the happiest man in Avalon if I see you happy and cheerful again. I’ve missed your smiles, Merlin. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, then do it for me. Please, Merlin. You know I don’t like to beg, but I am now. You’re still alive. You should --”

“—live a fulfilling life and not spend every waking moment anticipating your return.”

Arthur nodded. “Maybe instead every other day you can think of me,” he joked lightly.

Merlin gave him a small smile, accepting the teasing. “All right. I will try. Before…when you were dying, we didn’t get to talk properly about all I did for you and for Camelot.”

Arthur raised his hand. “There will be time for that when I return. I can only see you briefly now. You can tell me all your stories of intrigue and magic when I can leave Avalon.”

Merlin nodded, and then he bit his lip. “Can I --?” He asked tentatively.

He reached out to touch Arthur’s cheek. His fingers went through Arthur’s cold-feeling skin.

“Sorry…I can feel you though, in my own way,” Arthur was quick to reassure him. “I’m glad I’m able to see you at all.”

Merlin smiled. “Me too.”

He kissed Arthur lightly, a brush against his mouth that left Merlin feeling a cold breeze. He sighed. No matter that the two of them couldn’t touch each other as they desired, Merlin was grateful to have Arthur here with him in his dreams. If only for a brief time.

“I don’t want to say goodbye,” Arthur told him. “So I’ll just leave you with my wish for you to be happy. I’m not worth you being sad for the rest of your life. I’m not.”

“You are to me. You told me once that no man is worth your tears…but you are worth them, every single one,” Merlin said firmly. “But I will try to live my life as you wish it.”

“Merlin, if I’d known that man had been your father, I wouldn’t have said that.” Arthur said with a frown.

“How do you know now?”

“I’ve been able to meet with him during my time at Avalon. He told me.”

“How was he?”

“Hoping you would be all right. I’m sure your father would be glad that I’d be telling you to move on with your life.”

“Two against one?” Merlin mused.

“And don’t forget it,” Arthur retorted with a crooked smile. Then he started to fade away gradually, and sadly, Merlin realized his fleeting reunion with Arthur was coming to an end.

“I hate that you have to go,” Merlin uttered almost like a lost child.

“I will always be with you, Merlin. Even if you can’t see me. Just close your eyes, and you’ll feel my presence… I’m certain with your magical abilities, you can sense me. As long as you believe you can.”

“I wish you could have told me that years ago,” Merlin said to him with a sigh. “Yet I always felt you in my heart, a part of you remained inside me.”

“As you are forever in my heart,” Arthur confided in him. “I discussed you with the Lady of the Lake, and she was very agreeable to having my presence be felt by you. That you would know I was there. She and I both agreed that you have grieved for too long. Though I cannot be with you physically, there is this chance. It was the best I could do.”

“I understand. I await your return,” Merlin said with a nod.

Arthur smiled, and he could only say, “Until the next time, old friend,” before he finally disappeared back to his present home at the Isle of Avalon.

Merlin watched the space Arthur had occupied. He smiled to himself, thanking Freya in a whisper for allowing Arthur to be with him in some form as he lived out the rest of his long life.

He wished he could see Freya again to thank her in person, but Merlin didn’t doubt that Freya, his beloved Lady of the Lake, heard his words of gratitude.

~ * ~

Merlin thought he had seen all that there was in the world, but one morning changed all of that.

He encountered his first mermaid. Or, actually, a mermaid who had apparently lost her fish tail and was left with a set of legs she could barely stand up with. Of course legs were foreign to her, so it wasn’t too easy to get them cooperate.

Merlin watched her collapse on to the seashore, frustrated, her brilliant red hair spread around her head.

He just knew he had to help her because, well, she was completely naked and could use some clothing. Perhaps a dress. And she looked miserable – possibly almost as miserable as he’d been over the last century without his King.

“Er, hello,” Merlin said slowly with as friendly of a smile as he could manage. “I’m Merlin. I mean you no harm,” he was quick to reassure her when she sat up and stared at him in alarm. She looked down at herself as if to check that yes, she wasn’t wearing anything, and a man was seeing her naked. “I just want to help you,” he said kindly, keeping his distance.

The mermaid rearranged her long locks to cover her chest as best as she could.

“Some clothing would be nice,” she said almost defiantly, as if she were trying to compensate for her disorientation with her strange new circumstance. “I’ve fallen in a bad way…and I have to try to be human now,” she explained, sounding like it was the worst fate possible.

“I can help with that,” Merlin offered. He summoned his magic to create a simple but warm blue dress for her to wear.

The dress covered her body instantly, and Merlin added a dark blue cape at her back as well. He put comfortable shoes upon her feet as a final touch.

The red-headed former mermaid stood up shakily, impressed by the magical display. She looked at him. “I’ve always wanted to meet a wizard. How lucky am I! Thank you,” she praised him. “My name is Amelia,” she introduced herself.

Then she overbalanced, falling forward, as her legs continued to deceive her. Merlin was ready to catch her in his arms before she fell awkwardly.

Amelia sat down in a huff, frowning. “I can’t use my legs very well…sorry…must be silly to you. Walking is supposed to be easy, isn’t it?”

“Oh no, not at all,” Merlin assured her as he sat down beside her. “Everything takes practice. I can help you with walking.”

“I don’t want to be a nuisance,” Amelia confessed.

“No, don’t ever think that. I like helping people, and I’m glad to be of service to you,” Merlin said to her, smiling.

He knocked shoulders with her, trying to get her to smile.

She did. “Well then. I appreciate it.”

Merlin grinned at her.

~ * ~

He hadn’t expected to fall in love with Amelia. Her red hair reminded him of the red of Camelot, of the Pendragon House – comforting old memories of his past life. And that always led him back to Arthur. He was surprised that the pain of loss wasn’t as strong and deep as his thoughts settled on Arthur.

Maybe it was because he had been able to sense Arthur as he’d reassured him he would. Always a warm presence that made Merlin think of all the times Arthur had smiled, had laughed his joyful deep laugh and had just been happy.

Remembering the good times helped to ease the aching hole in his chest. Everything would be all right.

One night, with Amelia sleeping beside him, Merlin spoke quietly aloud to the empty room. He felt that Arthur was there, watching over him as Merlin had done for Arthur many years ago.

“I won’t love another in the way I love you, Arthur. You will always be my King,” he declared. “But you wanted me to be happy, and I cannot deny that Amelia makes me happy.”

He nodded to himself, glad to get that admission said. He hadn’t been expecting a response, never hearing Arthur say a word – and assuming he was not allowed to.

But this time, this glorious time, Merlin heard Arthur’s blessed voice.

“Love her, you idiot,” Arthur’s voice ordered him – ever the King, though Merlin could almost see the pleased look on Arthur’s face.

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Prat,” he shot back at him affectionately.

Amelia stirred in her sleep. “Merlin?” She asked him, wondering. She must have heard him speak.

“It’s nothing, dear. Go back to sleep,” he assured her, kissing her softly on the lips.

She smiled, her green eyes lighting up, as he kissed her. She deepened the kiss. “You and your magical ways…” Amelia teased him.

“That’s me,” he said cheerfully.

“Hmmm…you don’t fool me,” she said before sleep claimed her.

Merlin smiled down on her, grasping her hand with his, and he fell asleep himself, still holding her hand.

Yet he didn’t miss the last thing Arthur said to him before then.

“I’m glad you found her,” he told Merlin.

“Me too,” Merlin replied back with a yawn, succumbing to sleep shortly thereafter.

~ * ~

Merlin’s first child was a girl. Amelia named her Lily. Two years later, his next child was a son, and Merlin could choose no other name but Arthur for him.

One afternoon, Merlin was watching both Lily and Arthur while Amelia was away at the market. His son was cradled in his arms while Lily was sitting nearby making headpieces out of flowers. That was when he felt Arthur’s welcome presence beside him.

“Hello,” Merlin said, smiling.

“He has your eyes,” Arthur’s voice said.

“I thought they were more close to your eyes.”

“Don’t be contradictory, Merlin. He can only have your eyes.”

“That’s why I named him after you,” continued Merlin with his explanation.

“I thought it was because he was handsome.”

“I thought being at Avalon would humble you.”

“It would have to take a lot more to humble me.”

“Yeah, you know, I’m not surprised about that revelation,” Merlin said with a roll of his eyes.

“It’s a wonder how we ever became friends,” Arthur said jokingly.

“Absolute miracle,” Merlin shot back without heat.

He heard Arthur laugh. Merlin grinned at hearing the wonderful sound.

“Fatherhood suits you, Merlin. I expect when you become a grandfather, you’ll grow a ridiculous beard.”

“Just for you, I wouldn’t dare.”

“Spoilsport,” Arthur retorted. “See you later, Grandpa,” he teased him.

Merlin felt Arthur’s presence leave him. He shook his head. Arthur the clotpole, he thought – recalling that long ago memory when he first called him that.

Lily came over to show him what she had made, and his son chose that moment to start crying, so Merlin put aside all thoughts of Arthur to focus on his children.

Hopefully soon, Merlin would get to speak to Arthur again and get his revenge for the ‘grandpa’ remark.

~ * ~

2012

~ * ~

A blue lorry passed an old Merlin on the road as he walked down it. He knew he was walking past the Lake of Avalon as he’d done many times before. He had lost count actually.

While he was tempted to look at the Isle of Avalon and the tower situated there, he resisted. He hadn’t felt Arthur’s presence since the turn of the 19th century. He had hoped that absence meant Arthur would return soon, but to his disappointment, Arthur hadn't. One hundred years later, a time of fascinating inventions had come in the early 20th century, and Merlin had been intrigued by them -- the interest becoming a welcome distraction back then. Two world wars had come and gone, and Arthur remained in Avalon – the days when Merlin had felt his presence, heard his voice, had become an old cherished memory.

Despite the radio silence, so to speak, from Arthur; Merlin kept busy. Over the many centuries, he'd magically tracked the descendants of his and Amelia’s children and protected them from afar some of the time. Other times, he had managed to become a part of the family, becoming a close family friend, an uncle, godfather... He made up stories for who he was, and had succeeded, to his surprise, in leaving little suspicion about him and his immortality. Of course altering his appearance had helped.

Now, for the past fourteen years, he had looked after one of his descendants – his great-great-great and so on granddaughter – Merlin had long ago not bothered with the appropriate number of greats. It always made him feel ridiculously ancient, so he just kept it to one great. After his great-granddaughter’s parents had died in a terrible car accident, Merlin had taken in a two-year old Ophelia as his own. As her godfather, he’d actually been babysitting her when her parents had been killed in the accident.

So he'd adopted her and became her official guardian. As Ophelia had grown up, she'd told him about the dreams and nightmares she had. Merlin soon realized that Ophelia had the abilities of a Seer. At first, Merlin had been anxious about this development as he thought of Morgana and how she had gone mad and turned against Camelot. But Merlin knew that the solution was to help Ophelia and be honest with her as he wasn’t with Morgana.

On the wild yet earnest hope that Ophelia being a Seer meant Arthur returning soon, Merlin had even told Ophelia about Arthur. He hoped that maybe she would See him in her dreams and foretell when Arthur would return.

Ophelia was only sixteen, and Merlin knew she was still young and had years to foresee Arthur’s return. But he had waited so long to have Arthur back properly, to finally touch him as he wanted, that Merlin’s patience was beginning to wear thin.

With that unhappy thought, Merlin returned home. He removed his old man disguise enchantment, only going under the disguise when he was out in public and wanted people to leave him alone. Putting on a grim and sour face helped in getting a wide berth from others. He knew that Ophelia was not thrilled with this disguise, but she accepted it as just something he did.

Merlin couldn’t forget Arthur’s long ago comment about him growing a ridiculous beard. While Merlin didn’t think the beard of his disguise wasn’t as ridiculous as the one that Disney version of Merlin had, he still found it ironic that he still stuck with the disguise. In a small way, he hoped that going under the disguise would somehow entice Arthur to visit him. Even if he couldn’t see him as he’d been used to for all those centuries. He could almost hear Arthur’s laugh, thoroughly amused at Merlin’s disguise.

Yet even the chance to tease Merlin hadn’t gotten Arthur to see him for a little over two centuries now.

“I’m home, Ophelia,” Merlin announced as he shut the door.

Ophelia came to meet him with a very happy look on her face. “Oh Dad! It’s happened! I’ve seen Arthur! He’s at the Lake! Oh, you must go!” She told him excitedly.

Merlin stared at her for a beat as if he couldn’t realize what she had just revealed to him. But he had just passed the Lake – had Arthur come back after the Lake had been out of his sight?

“Are you sure, Ophelia?” Merlin asked.

She nodded. “Yes, yes. Now go! You’ve been waiting for so long.”

“Thank you, my dear. I – thank you. I’ll bring him back here and you can meet him,” he told her.

He embraced her, and she hugged him back. Merlin could feel how happy Ophelia was – he had told her about how much Arthur had meant to him so he wasn’t surprised that she was so pleased that he finally could see him again.

Merlin pulled away, grinning at her and feeling like a kid again. “I’ll be off now.”

“Good luck!” She wished him as he practically floated out the door in his joy.

~ * ~

Arthur was at the Lake of Avalon as Ophelia had said. He was stepping out of the Lake, clothed in the same clothes Merlin had laid him to rest in all those centuries ago.

“Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed.

He rushed up to meet him, grinning so hard it almost hurt.

“Well there you are. I’ve been hoping you’d be here,” Arthur said lightly, though he was smiling too.

Merlin pulled Arthur toward him, enveloping in a hug. It was a wonderful thing to properly feel Arthur again, to touch his skin and feel warmth, to hear him breathing and his heart beating.

Arthur returned the hug. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Merlin told him. “And I’ve been waiting to do this for ages.”

“What?” Arthur asked.

Merlin leaned forward and kissed Arthur deeply on the lips.

Arthur responded, and then he whispered, “One of your better ideas, Merlin,” in between breaths.

After a few long moments of enthusiastic kissing, Merlin reluctantly pulled away first.

“I was wondering about something,” Merlin began, looking carefully at Arthur.

Arthur idly fixed his hair that Merlin had ruffled up in the heat of the moment. He nodded at Merlin. “Yes, what is it?”

“I hadn’t felt your presence for two centuries now. You just stopped coming without a word of warning. Was there any reason for that?”

Arthur shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think I just fell asleep…I was dead, Merlin. I guess I had to have a rest. If I’d known that would happen ahead of time, I would have told you…but it came on suddenly.”

“You had to rest for two centuries?”

“I guess so… you were all right, weren’t you? I mean, what’s two centuries with how long you’ve lived.”

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. “Right, of course. I was fine. I kept an eye on my descendants like I told you the last time I saw you. I’m taking care of one of them now after her parents died. I was made her godfather after she was born.”

“So a great-great-great-great--” Arthur was really getting into it before Merlin cut him off.

Merlin made a face. “Shut up. Great-granddaughter is good enough. Ophelia is her name.”

Arthur laughed and Merlin couldn’t help but smile. He was glad to hear Arthur happy and laughing again even if it was at his expense.

Arthur put his arm around Merlin’s shoulders. “Well come on then. I want to see where you live.”

“Wait. You can’t go around looking like that in the year 2012. Unless you fancy going to a RenFair.”

Arthur stared at him in confusion. “What in the world is a RenFair?” Arthur wondered.

“I’ll get to that later. First I should tell you what you missed in the last two hundred years.”

“Please spare me and give me the short version, Merlin,” Arthur requested.

“As you wish, Your Majesty,” Merlin said solemnly, doing an overly formal bow as he finished speaking.

Arthur took that as an opening to give him a noogie. Merlin tackled him to the ground in revenge and somehow, the world seemed to stop and all that mattered to the Once and Future King and his devoted Sorcerer was one another.

As it should be.

~ * ~

grins

dk323 — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 03:59:33 GMT

Awww again...Bradley James tweeted (7 hours after the NTA's at 4:30am). He's so proud. :)

Colin Morgan wins at National TV Awards!! grins

dk323 — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 03:09:30 GMT

Squee!!! :D :D Love the '50s hair for his upcoming role in 'Quirke'.

Awww :)

Colin Morgan's acceptance speech (for Best Drama Performance (Male) award). :)

Also how awesome is it that the magic reveal was used as Colin Morgan's clip. One of the biggest moments of the show (not to mention such an emotional and epic Arthur and Merlin moment) -- no wonder it was chosen. ;)

Merlin fic: Not Alone (2)

dk323 — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 06:37:34 GMT

Back to Part One here

December 21, 2005

Arthur was sure that someone was following him. Looking back, he saw the culprit wearing a black hooded cloak that reminded Arthur of the ghost of Christmas future from ‘A Christmas Carol.’ Yet he distinctly felt that this ghost would sooner kill him than simply show him the future – like his place in the cemetery. No thank you on that count.

“Creepy strangers should be banned this time of year,” Arthur muttered to himself.

He breezed past the Christmas-themed shop windows as he was in a hurry to get the cloaked person off his back.

Although Arthur did stop at a display with the sword Excalibur stuck in a stone.

“Wait a minute. Isn’t it supposed to be back in the lake?” Arthur wondered suddenly, not quite knowing where that thought came from.

All twenty-five years of his life, he’d never had a thought like that. Like Arthurian legend was a real story. But why now did he feel that this legend wasn’t fictional after all?

“Arthur, come here,” a familiar voice spoke to him.

It was a voice he’d wanted to hear for so long now. But he couldn’t remember whose voice it was. Only that it was familiar somehow – like from a buried memory.

“Who’s there?” Arthur asked. He couldn’t see the person.

Then he felt a change in air pressure. Arthur quickly turned his head around and to his shock; everyone had frozen in place as if by magic.

A glowing bullet came shooting straight at him. Arthur knew he should get out of the way, duck, do something; but all these strange things happening at once…he needed to process it all.

Somehow.

The bullet froze right before it was due to hit him in the chest.

The invisible person grabbed him and pulled him down. As his rescuer beckoned him into a hidden alleyway, Arthur was finally able to see the person. He was a man his age with dark hair, blue eyes and big ears. He knew this man. He did. His name was…what was it again?

The dark-haired man exited the alleyway, appearing to check that the cloaked stranger had gone. Arthur heard him speak a few words in a tongue he couldn’t understand. Arthur heard the usual hustle and bustle of people up and down the street again. Then, seeming satisfied, the man returned to him. Arthur guessed that the mystery assailant had blended into the stream of shoppers along the way or had accepted defeat for now.

“You have to trust me. All right?” The man asked him.

“Merlin?” Arthur addressed tentatively.

The dark-haired man nodded and smiled. “Yes, that’s my name.”

“I’m Arthur. Was it you who stopped the bullet?”

“It was,” he admitted.

“Thanks for that,” Arthur said, feeling a bit awkward about it. He wasn’t sure what to make of this familiar yet not man who had saved his life. “I’m not sure who’s trying to kill me. And I don’t know why you seem familiar and how I guessed your name correctly. Have we met before?” He asked him curiously.

Merlin looked thoughtfully at him. “Maybe this will help.”

Then Merlin kissed him. Arthur was about to pull away and say something like, “What the hell??”

But then all memories of his long ago past life returned back to him in a rush. Arthur stepped back a bit, overwhelmed by the strong sensation.

Merlin placed a steady hand on his shoulder so Arthur would keep his balance.

“Merlin!” He said, his voice now full of recognition and years of memories. “Is Morgana trying to kill me then?”

Merlin grinned. “Glad that the kiss worked,” he said. “And unfortunately yes…reincarnation has made her…more unhinged than she previously was. We must be careful.”

“Brilliant. Just what I wanted for Christmas. Morgana hoping to kill me again,” Arthur said darkly. “Have you been reincarnated too? Or did you live up to the Emrys name? Are you really immortal?”

“I’ve been reborn like you, so no, not immortal,” Merlin informed him. “We can talk more at my place if you want to.”

Arthur nodded. “Sure. It’s starting to get chilly here.”

~ * ~

Merlin lived in the countryside. Yet Arthur hadn’t expected his residence to be so big.

“Merlin, why is your place a mansion?”

Arthur looked up at Merlin’s impressive estate. The five-storied home was made of solid grey stone with deep green vines surrounding it, glints of gold coming from the unquenchable vines. Arthur liked it more than his childhood home – though he had grown up on a big estate, it never truly felt like home compared to now – standing beside Merlin, together again, looking at the home Merlin and his magic had crafted.

Merlin shrugged. “I was bored. Decided to use some magic to try my hand at building.”

Arthur stared at him. “I now wonder what happens when you’re not bored.”

Merlin playfully shoved him. “You’ll find out soon enough.” He winked at Arthur.

“All right, you win,” Arthur conceded as he followed Merlin through the grand foyer and into the blue, white and gold themed kitchen.

“Sit down then,” Merlin offered. “I’ll make some hot cocoa.”

Arthur looked pointedly at the hedgehog eating a beetle on the kitchen table.

“That’s Sirius, my faithful companion,” Merlin said. “Don’t worry. He won’t bite.”

“Funny,” Arthur said wryly. He sat down, and nevertheless, he was careful about making contact with the hedgehog. Sirius paid him no mind when he patted him on the back, Merlin’s pet being preoccupied with his meal. He was a cute hedgehog all things aside. “So it’s just you and the hedgehog in this big place?”

“Full house, let me tell you,” Merlin joked.

“Of course,” Arthur said.

Merlin grinned at him.

After Merlin set down the mugs of cocoa and some chocolate biscuits and cakes too, Arthur spoke.

Arthur said, “So…I’m not sure where to begin. How was it after I had died? What did you and Rilian do?” He asked.

Merlin sighed. He stirred his cocoa. “Well of course it wasn’t easy for me to return to Camelot. It was terrible…having to live without you and then Mordred dying. I hadn’t expected Mordred to die at the battle,” he said unhappily. “Knowing I still had Rilian forced me to brave the aftermath of Camlann. But though we came back to Camelot, I could not stay long. I had to leave, travel…go anywhere that wasn’t a place holding so many memories of you and Mordred. Gwen understood, thankfully. Rilian insisted on coming with me…”

“Someone needed to keep an eye on you.”

“Well I was hoping you’d haunt me, but clearly that didn’t work out,” Merlin shot back at him.

“Sorry about that,” Arthur said gently yet he reached out to grasp Merlin’s hand.

Though he believed Merlin wasn’t being serious about the haunting, he still detected a hint of misery. As if Merlin had tried in his past life to magically summon Arthur back to him, but had been frustratingly unsuccessful. Arthur couldn’t help but feel for Merlin because he would’ve been at a loss too if he’d had to live through Merlin’s death. He couldn’t bear to think about what he would have done.

Yet still, he was glad Merlin hadn’t succeeded in returning him from death because Arthur feared the repercussions would have been terrible.

Merlin smiled at him in gratitude, quietly reassuring Arthur that he was okay.

“I tried to persuade Rilian on staying in Camelot. That he should help Gwen, use what I taught him. That he should find a girl to love, start a family. Rilian was twenty years old, Arthur. It was time that he let me be and begin the next phase of his life.”

“But what will never change is that you’re his father. Of course he saw how much you were hurting. I expect it was hard on Rilian too after Camlann.”

Merlin nodded. “My son knew so well how close we were, Arthur. He understood it wouldn’t be easy for me to cope. He wanted to come with me because he’d only be worrying about me if I traveled on my own. He told me that I’d looked after him for ten long years, and it was time to return the favour. That he would be there for me. So I just agreed to Rilian coming along. I rationalized it to myself that it would be a good thing. Rilian could learn something valuable by seeing other places, meeting people in distant lands.”

“You’re never too old to learn.”

“Yes. I admit I enjoyed the idea of teaching him further, that though he was grown, there was always something new to learn. For him, and me too.”

“So how long did the two of you travel?”

Merlin shrugged. “For a few years. The whole experience – seeing lands with customs so different than my own – was unforgettable, to put it lightly. I ended up being grateful to do this with Rilian, to share the adventure with someone. We returned to Camelot, and Rilian did find a sweetheart. Her name was Ophelia, and she reminded me of Gwaine a bit. She was good for Rilian – balanced out his more reserved nature.”

“A girl like Gwaine? I don’t know, Merlin. Sounds like trouble.”

“Oh you were just jealous that Gwaine was more entertaining than you.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Whatever allows you to sleep at night,” Merlin quipped with a grin.

“One can’t deny the fact that he liked you more than me, but that’s beside the point,” Arthur said. “So Rilian married her then, I would assume, and you got a daughter-in-law.”

Merlin smiled. “Yes. They had grandchildren, and I tried to be a good grandfather.”

“Oh I saw Disney’s The Sword in the Stone, so…”

“I didn’t grow a ridiculously long beard,” Merlin cut him off as Arthur looked ready to let out a laugh. “And that’s an inaccurate depiction.”

“Well of course. It’s an animated film. If you must know, my favorite part was the last bit of the squirrel scene…”

“Mine too,” Merlin said quietly with a small smile. “Anyway…so Rilian did help out Gwen at Camelot. He took the position of Court Sorcerer and I advised him when he needed me. But one day, when Rilian’s children were grown, I told him that I had to leave.”

“Why?”

“It was an odd thing… I just personally didn’t want the last my son saw of me was when I was on my deathbed. I knew I would be happiest leaving, comforted by the thought that Rilian last saw me alive and well. I guess I felt a proper retirement meant leaving my old life behind completely.”

“It can’t have been easy. What did Rilian think of it?”

“He was upset to see me go, but he accepted my choice. He told me he was grateful that I stayed long enough to be a grandfather to his children.”

“Or he just accepted your stubbornness and decided to make the best of it,” Arthur countered.

“I had spent days thinking about it, Arthur. But I knew it was the right thing deep down. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to tell Rilian yet I had to follow my heart. Of course it was hard to leave and I missed Rilian, but I appreciated the years I had with him. I couldn’t have asked for a better son. I could never thank you enough, Arthur, for convincing me to find a child.”

“No need to thank me. I just thought it made the most sense for you to have a magical child to mentor. I was pleased to see it work out so well. So that your life’s work wasn’t solely looking after me.”

“Those ten years with you and Rilian and Mordred…they were brilliant, weren’t they?” Merlin thought out loud. He sighed, looking wistfully.

“No doubt there,” Arthur said with a nod.

“After I left,” Merlin continued, “I returned to the cottage I had stayed in with Mordred years past. It was the cottage you came to when you asked us to return to Camelot.”

“Right. I remember that. Especially the holly all about the cottage.”

Merlin smiled. “Yes. The spooky thing, I suppose, is Mordred’s spirit came to visit me there every so often. I didn’t even summon him magically…it was just lucky that somehow he could come to me. But he couldn’t speak.”

“Hmm, not being able to speak certainly makes it spookier.”

“Still, I was glad to see him. I had long ago resigned myself to the fact that I’d never see you again at least in that life. It was a nice surprise that at least I could see Mordred again.”

“You did all the talking then?”

Merlin nodded. “I told him about my life since he’d died. I told him about Rilian and his family, about being a grandfather, about how much I still missed you, and how I wished he – that is Mordred – hadn’t died at Camlann. That suffering the loss of two of my closest friends in one battle was a terrible thing to deal with.”

“It’s fortunate you had Rilian’s support then. And you have me again. Thank goodness for reincarnation.”

“Grief is never easy to overcome,” Merlin said, sighing. “Eventually, one day, I left my cottage and traveled to the Crystal Cave. I had decided long in advance that if I would die of old age, I would rest inside the cave. The Crystal Cave is the birthplace of magic after all – I believed that was my true home in the end. I couldn’t think of a better place.” He smiled, remembering. “And Mordred was there too. I felt him hold my hand before I fell asleep one final time. Though I thought I’d be alone when my end came, I was grateful that Mordred was there with me nevertheless.”

Merlin looked down, appearing very somber. Arthur didn’t miss the quick swipe at his eyes like he was wiping away tears.

“I’m glad Mordred’s spirit was able to be with you. I guess fate refused to allow you to die alone.”

“Stubborn fate,” Merlin muttered.

Arthur lifted his chin to see wetness on Merlin’s face. “I’d say wise,” he said.

He leaned forward to kiss Merlin softly on the lips.

~ * ~

The End

End notes
I chose to name Merlin’s apprentice/son, Rilian, in honour of a character from the book series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair. Rilian is King Caspian’s only son in that book.

I know what Mordred's deepest secret is, and there are small hints to it. I was going to address it in the modern day part, but I decided to focus on Arthur and Merlin spending time together instead. I don't know if anyone can guess the secret... not sure if it's too obvious or not.

My reasoning for Merlin being reincarnated instead of being immortal is due to his altering of the prophecy. Since Merlin made an honest effort with Mordred and he revealed his magic to Arthur earlier, this led to Arthur not being killed by Mordred. As a result, it changed Merlin's fate and Merlin/Emrys wasn't immortal anymore...he was left to be reborn along with Arthur. And also Arthur was reincarnated versus resurrected (I guess that's the best word to describe it) because of the prophecy being changed.

The mention of holly and it being protection against bad spirits is from The Dark Is Rising book series. Although in that series, holly is put up as protection against the forces of the Dark, but it's similar. Just a little thing I couldn't help but stick in there.

Merlin fic: Not Alone (1)

dk323 — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 06:30:57 GMT

Title: Not Alone
Author: dk323
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Mordred, Morgana, OC
Word Count: 11,564 (total)
Spoilers/Warnings: AU following 5x10 (5x11 never happened)
Summary: Merlin makes a choice that changes the course of Arthur’s reign. Centuries later, a reincarnated Arthur sees Merlin again and reunites with him.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC.

Not Alone @ AO3 ~ here

“Son, you must prevent a terrible disaster. You are heading in the wrong path,” his father, ghostly in form, spoke to him in his dreams.

“Father? I don’t understand,” Merlin spoke, puzzled.

Yet he felt more awake now than he had been before when he’d been drifting in and out fleeting, shapeless dreams.

After all, this was the first time that his father had appeared in his dream. Merlin’s yearning to see his father again was still as strong as ever even years after his untimely death.

There were so many things Merlin wanted to tell him that he barely knew where to start.

“You must tell Arthur the truth and be a true friend to Mordred,” his father clarified in a firm tone.

“I love you and I miss you,” Merlin answered with a sigh. “But those two things can’t happen. It’s not the right time to confide in Arthur about magic. And I was told time and again not to trust Mordred. It’s prophecy. I’m doing the best I can.”

“They are leading you astray. I have seen the future and it is grim if you don’t do the two things I’m asking of you.”

“Why should I believe you over what I’ve been told?”

“Merlin, I am your father. Isn’t that enough? Think. Haven’t you missed chances to tell Arthur over the years? Have you seen Mordred do anything but to reach out to you? Mordred may not be a Dragonlord like you, but he is magic like you. You are kin, brothers at heart. Give him a chance, listen to him. You should not refuse his company because of the words of strangers.”

“I don’t know…” Merlin could only say. He was torn between doing what his father wanted and disobeying him – following the prophecies instead.

But he felt guilty, and he thought if he couldn’t trust and believe in his own father, then what sort of a man was he? Could he live with himself if he chose not to follow his father’s advice?

Maybe this wasn’t really his father, just a figment of his imagination. A part of his mind desperate to see his father again must be playing tricks on him.

Merlin had to admit that there was a small part of him that agreed with his father. It was a tiny voice inside of him that he’d had for a while now, but he had managed to silence it – to stubbornly believe that Mordred was no good and to keep Arthur unaware about his magic.

Yet now with his father forcing that voice to the forefront – Merlin could not ignore it any longer. Had he gone about it all wrong? Should he not have depended so heavily on prophecies and instead trusted his own instincts? Maybe he should give Mordred a proper chance like he had with Arthur after first seeing him as a royal prat.

Of course being made Arthur’s manservant had forced Merlin to see Arthur on a daily basis and truly know what sort of man he was. Yet it still wouldn’t have worked if Merlin hadn’t allowed himself to be patient with Arthur. Yes, it had been out of curiosity – wondering if Kilgharrah’s words about his destiny with Arthur were true. Soon though, he had been grateful to see what Arthur was truly made of no matter what the Great Dragon said. After all, it was a rare opportunity for an outsider to Camelot like him to become intimately familiar with Prince Arthur – to the point that he became a close advisor for him.

While Kilgharrah had denounced Mordred more than once – a very different situation to the magical creature’s opinion of Arthur – Merlin thought that maybe just maybe Mordred deserved that chance like anyone else. A chance that Merlin – so full of terrible prophecies speaking of Mordred’s evil nature – had not given to Mordred now as an adult. Like his father had said, Mordred had done nothing but try to reach out to him, to be his friend, another magic user Merlin could confide in within Camelot’s walls.

And there was Morgana who Merlin had failed. He had known about her magic and had not reached out to her, told her he had magic too, before Morgana fell under Morgause’s poisonous influence. Merlin still felt guilty about Morgana, that their friendship had been irrevocably shattered after he’d poisoned her. He couldn’t fail Mordred too like he’d failed Morgana.

Mordred deserved a chance.

“Please, Son,” his father spoke up after Merlin remained silent for too long. Merlin didn’t miss the pleading tone in his father’s voice. “Our time together was all too brief. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t wish I had had more time to spend with you when I was alive. I’m proud of you, Merlin – know that. But I feel it’s my duty for your sake to save you from the disaster that will come if you do not seek to prevent it. Believe me when I tell you that you will bring hope to the land, to Albion, if you do what I tell you.”

“Will Arthur still die at Camlann?”

His father nodded. “Yes, I think so. But the final battle will happen later if you do the right thing. There will be a period of happiness and peace for magic users instead of the battle that will soon take place if you do nothing.”

“So if I do this,” Merlin said slowly, thinking it through. “Arthur will live longer? And magic will be accepted in Camelot for some time before this battle at Camlann?”

“Yes. And if you extend a hand of friendship to Mordred, then it will not be him who will kill Arthur.”

Merlin swallowed, and then he gave a small nod – half-wondering if he was making an awful mistake by making this promise to his father.

“I’ll do it. I won’t turn down a chance that will allow Arthur to live longer,” Merlin decided.

Even if he feared that Arthur might just kill him for the years of secret-keeping. The very heart of Merlin’s identity and Arthur didn’t even know – it was a wrong Merlin just had to make right.

His father smiled, pleased. “Thank you, Son. I only want what is best for you. I’ll always be watching over you,” he assured him.

Then he approached Merlin and embraced him fully.

That’s when it truly hit Merlin how much he missed his father.

The hug was done all too soon as his father faded away.

The dream shifted into a different setting – that of a meadow. He was lying on the grass, feeling sleepy and lazily watching the clouds drift by in the sky. A winged horse -- a snow white Pegasus -- stood before him as if the creature was exacting judgment on him. Merlin found the whole experience very disconcerting and silently wished the white Pegasus would go away.

Merlin was grateful when the judging creature went away and the rest of his slumber was blessedly dreamless.

Morning came all too soon, and with that Merlin steeled himself for the most difficult thing he would ever have to do.

Reveal his magic to Arthur.

~ * ~

Merlin was so anxious to confide in Arthur about his magic that he decided to talk to Mordred first. That would be easier. And he could tell Mordred about revealing his magic to Arthur. In case Arthur would sentence him to death, at least he’d know he would have Mordred there mourning him. After all, Mordred understood the dangers of living in Camelot and possessing magic.

“Mordred, I need to speak to you,” Merlin caught him in the hallway. “Privately,” he added as he observed servants and members of the Court walking the corridor.

Considering the nature of what he needed to tell Mordred, Merlin couldn’t risk anyone eavesdropping on them.

Mordred looked at him strangely. “What is it, Merlin? You seem different…” he commented.

“I’ve had an epiphany,” Merlin only said. He walked further down the hallway, turning into another passage to find the right room to hold a private conversation. Mordred followed him, looking understandably bemused.

“Uh…yes, this room is empty. Just need to make an adjustment,” Merlin said more to himself than to anyone else.

Merlin beckoned Mordred inside the empty council chambers. He said a quick spell to make the room soundproof.

“Merlin, what’s going on? What epiphany did you have?” Mordred wondered.

“I think we should be friends, Mordred. Proper friends. I promise not keep my distance from you like I have been doing. I realize now that I was wrong. I was blind. I should have seen that you are a good person, and it’s time I confide in you. I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure you didn’t go to the tavern last night? This epiphany of yours…must have been something big. Not that I don’t like it. I’ve been hoping we could be real friends for months now. You’re the only one here who understands what it’s like being magic. I had hoped to even learn from you yet you looked at me with such disdain.”

“I haven’t been drinking, trust me. I’m being honest here. I want to have a second chance with you. Like you said, I could use someone who understands magic like you do. It can be lonely after all living in Camelot sometimes…”

“Knowing one wrong move can lead to death,” Mordred finished, nodding.

“Yes well…on that note, I’ll be telling Arthur about my magic,” Merlin said the last bit in a hurry that he wasn’t sure Mordred heard him. “Right. So I should go. It was good to talk to you, Mordred--”

Mordred interrupted him, “Wait. Merlin. You’re going to tell Arthur? You know what you’re risking.”

Merlin nodded, feeling unwell just thinking of the difficult position he’d be putting Arthur in once he’d told him. “I’ve known Arthur for years, Mordred. He has called me a true friend yet he has never truly known my true self. I was wrong to lie to him in that way. But knowing I have your support and understanding will help. You can’t stop me, Mordred, though a small part of me wishes you would. I don’t deny I’m terrified, but I think for my own sanity, I need to do this…” Merlin declared, trailing off as his resolve wavered.

“Good luck then,” Mordred told him. “I hope you survive this.”

“Yeah, me too,” Merlin said with a sigh. “Friends?”

He put out his hand. Mordred shook it and nodded. “Friends.”

Merlin felt like something momentous had happened.

“I should go,” Merlin decided after a prolonged silence. It was as if fate was puzzled by his actions and needed time to accept this turn of events.

“Yes. I should too. I’m glad we had this talk,” Mordred told him in full honesty.

Just before Merlin left the room, he turned back to Mordred. He felt the need to assure him, and maybe assure himself as well. “I won’t let Arthur have me killed,” Merlin promised Mordred.

Merlin was grateful that Mordred appeared to accept his promise, so he went off to speak to Arthur, feeling braver than he had felt before.

~ * ~

Merlin thought he would die waiting for Arthur’s response to what he had just told him.

Arthur was sitting at the dining table in his room. His right hand curled into a fist, his jaw clenched and he looked like he was restraining himself from throwing something.

Not good signs, Merlin thought.

“You say you have magic,” Arthur finally spoke, his voice low, dangerous with an undercurrent of anger Merlin didn’t miss. “That you were born with it.”

“Yes,” Merlin acknowledged with a nod. “I have only used my magic to help you, Ar—Your Majesty. I use my magic in your service, in the service of the kingdom of Camelot.”

“Show me proof, Merlin,” Arthur asked him, waving his hand out in front of him.

Merlin swallowed, feeling nervous. “Are you going to execute me?” He wanted to know.

“Well magic is currently against the law,” Arthur said what Merlin knew all too well. “But I’ve asked you to do something, Merlin. Please do it. I believe it goes without saying that you not do anything that would surely get you to the executioner’s block.”

Merlin understood what Arthur was suggesting. “I would never threaten your life. Never,” Merlin said firmly, with such fire and fierceness in his words that he surprised even himself.

Arthur did not speak. His wary blue eyes looked at Merlin expectantly.

Merlin took a deep breath and let it out. Something harmless. A harmless magical display. Fire was not an option then.

In his palms, he conjured three butterflies. Their wings were the same rich red as Camelot’s colours.

Arthur looked with interest at the butterflies, one of which fluttered to his finger and settled there.

“Your eyes glow gold when you do magic. How could I have missed that,” Merlin heard Arthur say, sounding both intrigued and frustrated.

“I can do more, of course. Over the years, I’ve learned ways to help you magically, to protect you in battle,” Merlin informed him. “I can’t bear to see you die. I was meant to come to Camelot, Sire, to serve you and make sure you survive the magical threats aiming to hurt you.”

Arthur tapped his fingers on the table. “And yet, Merlin, you can bear to see me as the blind fool that I am. How do you expect me to be King when I can’t even see my own manservant is a sorcerer?” Arthur said angrily. “I want you to leave now, Merlin. I need time away from you. All I see is lies in your face.”

“Arthur, no. You’re not a --” Merlin couldn’t finish saying it. “Please,” he began, pleading with him. He knelt down before Arthur. “It was never a lie that I see you as my closest friend, Arthur. You say I’m your true friend, and the same holds true for me. You’re the truest friend I’ve ever had. I love you, Arthur. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I wasn’t here by your side to protect you.”

“I’m exiling you, Merlin. You won’t change my mind. Be grateful for this act of mercy and take it before I decide to execute you instead. Maybe I am a fool, but I still--” Arthur stopped, closing his eyes briefly. He peered at the butterfly still on his finger. “I can’t live with the thought that I ordered your death even if you kept this secret from me all these years. My father would think me a weak fool for having this affection for you, but I…anyway,” Arthur cleared his throat.
“Just go, Merlin. I want you gone by the end of the day. Just please, go.” He finished softly.

Merlin could hear the pain in Arthur’s voice. He could tell that it wasn’t easy for Arthur to send him away.

“And the ban on magic? Will something be done?” Merlin asked.

He needed to know if the anti-magic laws would be changed even if he knew that wasn’t helping. Arthur had enough to deal with coping with Merlin’s reveal that giving thought to altering the laws was adding too much to the King’s already conflicted mind.

“The laws against magic have been in place for a long time, Merlin. If they are loosened, then not everyone will accept it so readily. Many citizens of Camelot are still fearful of those with magic – seeing the good magic users and those with ill intent as one and the same. It may take time for magic to be accepted by all.”

“I understand it is not a matter to be taken lightly,” Merlin acknowledged.

“For now, I need you to leave me. I can’t properly think about what I must do when you’re here. We need time apart from one another. I’m sure I can cope without your magical protection for some time. I’ll send for you when I wish you back in Camelot,” Arthur reassured him.

Merlin stood up, bowing his head. “Yes. I understand. Thank you, Arthur.”

Arthur nodded. “I am glad you finally trusted me with your secret.” He told Merlin.

Merlin could almost hear the unspoken words, that Arthur wished Merlin had confided in him sooner. It had been almost four years since the death of King Uther, and yet even with Arthur was King, Merlin had remained quiet.

Until his father had intervened in his dream.

Before Merlin departed from Camelot, leaving Gaius with a heavy heart, he expressly asked Mordred to protect Arthur magic-wise.

Mordred gave him his word that he would.

~ * ~

Merlin found an abandoned cottage to stay in. He thought that Arthur would need months at least to come to terms with the truth of Merlin’s magic and change the laws accordingly.

He spent the first day making the place livable and as comfortable as possible. Though it was difficult, Merlin tried not to descend into melancholy thinking how much he missed Arthur. But he did not regret telling Arthur the truth. It had to be done. His father was right.

True, Merlin had put Arthur in a difficult position now as he had to set Camelot on the path that would allow magic to flourish. Merlin wished he could be there with Arthur, to carry some of the burden; but he decided it would be wisest to follow Arthur’s instructions. Arthur had enough to contend with without Merlin disobeying his orders.

He was surprised when only a week later Mordred came to see him. Merlin had informed Mordred about his location, but he hadn’t expected Mordred to visit him. Much less come carrying a big pack like he was planning to stay for a while.

“What happened?” Merlin asked as he let Mordred inside.

Mordred shrugged, setting down his pack. “I confided in the King that I had magic too since you told him about yourself. I told him I would leave too, and he looked like he was nursing a headache as I left.”

“I see,” Merlin remarked dryly. “You spoke to Arthur privately?”

“Of course. If I had a death wish, I would have made a public declaration. This was the best thing to do, wasn’t it? I doubt the King would appreciate not knowing one of his knights was a sorcerer.”

“All right. Fine. You’re right. But I wanted you to look after Arthur if there’s a magical threat.”

“Haven’t you heard of the Crystal Cave? The birthplace of magic? If need be, we can go there to contact him and warn him of any problem.”

“That’s true. I’m hoping Arthur won’t need long to ask me to return though. If I have to wait a year…”

“It shouldn’t be that long,” Mordred assured him.

Merlin sighed. “Well then. I’m glad you’re here. It’ll be good to have company.”

At dinner, Merlin told Mordred about the dream he had and the advice his father had given him.

“I never knew my father growing up. Almost eight years ago, I did finally meet him and get to talk to him. Unfortunately not long after that, he died protecting me.”

“You didn’t want to live with the knowledge that you didn’t listen to your father,” Mordred figured out.

Merlin nodded. He stared at the food on his plate, concern about Arthur making him less hungry. “It was the least I could do after he gave up his life for me. I still wonder if I’m doing the right thing, but--”

“I think you are for what it’s worth.”

“Thanks. I hope so.”

“You’re lucky to have known your father. No matter for how long. I was an orphan before I even understood what that meant,” Mordred confided in Merlin.

“But that man you were with when I first met you. The one Uther executed? I thought he was your father.”

Mordred shook his head. “He was a Druid who took me in when my parents died. He wasn’t my natural father. Being a Druid means being a part of a community, and no child is left on their own. I was happy, but still sometimes I yearned to know more about my mother and father. I was too young to remember how they looked like when they were alive.”

“I don’t know where I’d be without my mother. I owe a lot to her,” Merlin declared. “May I ask if you know what happened to your parents?”

He shrugged. “I think they both fell ill. If they were killed on Uther’s orders, I was never told. I guess it was just an unfortunate case of a terrible ailment. I learned that my mother had trouble after I was born -- some aftereffects of birth causing her to be unwell. I don’t know what illness befell my father though.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help but think of Arthur’s mother who died giving birth to him. He never knew her because of that.”

“Yeah. Yet somehow we have to cope, make the best of it. I hope to make my mother and father proud. I’m sure they watching over me.”

“I hope my father feels the same way too. I never thought I’d see him again much less speak to him. So to see him in my dreams was a pleasant surprise.”

“I would have liked to meet your father,” Mordred said with a small smile.

Merlin smiled back at him.

~ * ~

That night, Merlin had a strange dream that he believed to be a vision of a future. He was sure of it, and that certainty gave him hope that he would return to Camelot, to be by Arthur’s side as he should be.

He dreamt that he was in Arthur’s room. He was there with Arthur and Mordred.

The three of them were laughing about something, the laughter dying down as Arthur turned to Merlin and spoke to him.

“Honestly, Merlin, I do think you need an apprentice. A child, perhaps. Easier to learn from a young age. It’d be good for you. Someone who possesses magic like you to be educated under your tutelage.”

“And it’ll give you a break from your worrying about protecting Arthur. You’re not alone, Merlin,” Mordred reminded him. “I’m just as capable of making sure Arthur’s safe from magical attacks.”

“I may not have magic, but I don’t believe I’m completely useless.” Arthur put in.

“Hmmm…up to debate,” Merlin quipped, a quirk of amusement upon his lips. “You know no matter what, I’ll never stop worrying about you, Arthur. It’s just who I am.”

Arthur nodded, understanding. He grasped Merlin’s hand in his own. “Then at least pretend for me. I believe taking a child under your wing would be a good noble pursuit for you. You are the most powerful sorcerer known to man, Merlin. You should share that knowledge.”

“Yes you should,” Mordred agreed.

“Mordred, you’re meant to side with me.”

“Sorry. I must have missed that part in the contract.”

“The both of you are terrible people,” Merlin muttered sullenly. “But I will do it. I guess a part of me always liked the idea of having a student of sorts.”

Then the dream shifted, and he was facing a small blond boy whose face was dirty but Merlin could still see that the boy’s eyes were as green as grass.

“It’s all right. I’m not like those who held you captive,” Merlin assured him as he took a soft wet cloth to clean off the boy’s face.

“What’s your name?”

“Rilian,” The boy answered him promptly.

“How old are you?”

“I’m ten, Sir.”

Merlin frowned. The boy looked too small to be ten years old.

“What about your parents?”

“My mother was a Druid. She never talked about Father before she died.”

Merlin set down the cloth, having finished. “I’m sorry to hear about your loss, Rilian.”

The boy bit his lip, looking like he wanted to say something but he couldn’t go through with it.

“What is it?”

“Every time I asked a question, I was hurt…” Rilian explained, looking uneasy. He swayed, almost like he would faint with the fear.

Merlin beckoned him to sit on the bed beside him. “You can ask me any question you like, Rilian. You will be my charge, and I promise I’ll make sure no one will harm you. Do you understand?”

Rilian gave a small, still uncertain nod. The boy just needed time to trust in him.

“Are you Emrys?” He asked Merlin after a few moments of silence. There was awe in Rilian’s voice as he said Merlin’s prophetic name.

Merlin woke up suddenly, sensing someone unwanted was in his home.

Upon seeing Morgana, Merlin got up so fast from his bed that he felt his head spin momentarily. Morgana was smiling and looking all too pleased with herself.

“I should have known,” she said as she approached him.

“Known what?”

“All this time…Arthur had you by his side. You’re Emrys,” Morgana told him.

Merlin felt grateful that at least he had already confided in Arthur about his magic. Morgana couldn’t use the knowledge against him.

“Then it’s bold of you to come here and think you’re a match for me, Morgana,” Merlin said, raising his arm in threat. An incantation was ready on the tip of his tongue.

“You were protecting him all these years, and yet the ban on magic remains. I wonder what my dear brother is waiting for.”

“He needs time,” Merlin told her.

He didn’t wish to explain that Arthur only just learned of his magic days ago. That would be exposing a weakness that Morgana could use against him. And that as yet, it wasn’t a guarantee that Arthur would lift the ban on magic, though Merlin fully trusted Arthur to do so. One thing he was absolutely sure of was that Arthur wouldn’t execute him. Arthur felt as strongly and deeply for him as Merlin felt for him. Arthur had admitted as much.

“I think you should leave now, Morgana,” Merlin said firmly.

Morgana had raised her arm too, anticipating a fight, but before either of them could make a first move; a dagger pierced her side.

“Hello, Morgana,” Mordred said, facing her now.

Merlin felt a little better to have Mordred there with him. Two against one turned the favour in his direction.

“Mordred… you’re on the wrong side,” Morgana told him almost desperately.

“No. It is you who are on the wrong side. No matter how hard you wish it, I will never serve a half-mad witch like you.”

“How dare you!” Morgana shouted in outrage. She viciously pulled the dagger out of her side and the blade fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

“Arthur knows Mordred and I both possess magic. You have lost, Morgana,” Merlin informed her.

She glared at them and then she called up a magical tower of wind to transport her away in fury.

Merlin turned to Mordred. “She knows I’m Emrys.”

“Good that she can’t use it against you then,” Mordred said.

“Yes. That’s true,” Merlin said and then he sat down. “Look…there’s something you should know,” he began. He was nervous about revealing this to Mordred. What would he think of the dreaded prophecy? “You may know it already. I’m aware of a prophecy that you are meant to kill Arthur. That you would unite with Morgana and together, the two of you will bring about Arthur’s downfall.”

Mordred frowned. “Not all prophecies are set in stone. I will never join with Morgana or kill Arthur. I promise you that, Emrys.”

“Do you believe making a proper effort to be your friend will change Arthur’s fate?” Merlin wondered.

“I wouldn’t know if what you did will lead to the King living to old age, but I do believe you changed my fate. King Arthur will not die by my hand, I give you my word.”

Merlin nodded, hearing the sincerity of Mordred’s words. If his father had been right and the dark battle at Camlann would be delayed, then Merlin would be forever grateful to him. Words wouldn’t be able to express his gratitude. If he could bring his father back to life, he would do so in a heartbeat.

“Thank you, Mordred. Really. Thank you,” Merlin told him.

Mordred smiled. “It’s thanks to you in the end. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to see me as a real friend when you had that prophecy to consider. I had heard that prophecy, but I never took it to heart. I believe I just couldn’t imagine myself killing a King of all people. That never felt right…” he confessed.

“When I first learned of the prophecy that I was destined to protect and serve Arthur, I couldn’t believe it. I thought he was such a…well, prat, at first; but as I got to know him better, I was glad of being able to serve a great man such as Arthur.”

“And let’s hope he ends the ban on magic. A Camelot allowing magic once again is a freer Camelot.”

Merlin nodded. “I have faith that he will.”

~ * ~

Months passed, and the Yuletide was upon them. Merlin had had a dream where he’d talked with Freya. She had assured him that while he was doing the right thing, Morgana would always be his bane. That he should be wary of her.

Merlin took Freya’s words to heart. Yet what he hoped for most was Arthur seeking him out. Only months away from Arthur and Merlin was yearning to be with him again. He could barely wait any longer. But he was sure that the spirit of the Yuletide time of year would persuade Arthur to ask him to return to Camelot.

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked Mordred one day.

Merlin had just returned home from selling some potions and tinctures – his physician’s training coming to be very useful in making money. He saw Mordred hanging up holly around the house – at the door, at the center of the table, and along the walls.

Mordred turned to Merlin. “Decorating for the Yule. You do know about holly, don’t you?”

Merlin looked questioningly at him. “No, I admit I don’t. Does holly have magical properties?” He guessed.

“Many believe, including the Druids, that holly can ward off bad spirits.”

“And the traditionally merry time of the Winter Solstice is when people would want to avoid encounters with bad spirits. Right. That sounds logical,” Merlin remarked.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Arthur?” Mordred guessed.

Merlin nodded, and then he grinned as he went to open the door.

“Well, I’m glad you and Mordred are doing so well without me,” was the first thing that came out of Arthur’s mouth once Merlin opened the door to let him in.

So happy to see Arthur, Merlin couldn’t resist embracing him.

“Merlin,” he said in mild protest. “I don’t hug.”

“Oh you prat. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that one time you hugged me,” Merlin countered as he pulled away.

“Those were exceptional circumstances,” Arthur retorted stubbornly.

“Why don’t you two just admit you love each other and be done with it?” Mordred spoke up.

“I don’t know, Mordred…Merlin has betrayed my trust after years of friendship,” Arthur told him. He then turned to Merlin. “But yes, I suppose I do care for you, Merlin. Or it may be that our separation has made me miss your daily insubordination. I cannot deny your loyalty despite the lies. I want you and Mordred to come back to Camelot.”

“Thank you, Arthur. I’m sorry for not telling you much sooner. I would apologize to you every day if I could,” Merlin told him earnestly.

Arthur raised his hand. “No, please don’t. I’d fear you would truly have a mental affliction if you keep apologizing. I know you’re sorry, and now I look forward to working with you and Mordred to make Camelot a better place.”

“So you lifted the ban on magic?” Mordred asked him.

“Yes. Not long after you left, Mordred. These last few months I’ve been working to guide the change, to allow the citizens of Camelot to accept that magic can be a good thing. I think it’s time for you two to return so you could show everyone the good of magic. That magic can help to protect Camelot and to heal the sick. I alone cannot do that.”

“Yes, of course, Arthur. Anything you request,” Merlin agreed.

Mordred nodded. “I think that would be a wise idea.”

“I’m grateful for your service, Mordred,” Arthur told him. “And since Merlin started it…” he trailed off as he embraced Mordred himself.

“I believe this will be the best Yuletide I’ve had for a long time,” Merlin declared with a smile.

“I don’t know. I thought last year’s celebration was brilliant,” Arthur shot back after he finished his hug with Mordred.

“I wonder why I missed you again,” Merlin quipped, sounding put-upon.

Mordred just watched them in bemusement as Arthur grabbed Merlin and tackled him to the ground.

~ * ~

Merlin didn’t tell Arthur or Mordred of his dream about Rilian. He thought it would be better to have the vision occur as naturally as possible. Well, as naturally as it could occur considering Merlin knew it would happen but he wasn’t sure when.

He and Mordred worked together with Arthur to bring about a Golden Age for Camelot where magic flourished peacefully once again.

Only a month after Merlin and Mordred returned to Camelot, Merlin’s vision came true.

Outside Camelot’s borders, there were slavers who had Rilian as one of their prisoners – thinking they could sell him for a high price because the boy possessed magic and would offer more in service than one without magic.

Merlin easily overcame the men with his magic and took Rilian with him. The scene in his vision came to life without Merlin even trying. The same words flowed out of him even if he hadn’t memorized what he had said in the vision. This was meant to be then. It was important that he encountered the boy, and made him his apprentice.

Arthur met Rilian as soon as Merlin returned to Camelot with him. It was a small audience as the young boy was still anxious and shy, understandably so, as he’d had a harrowing ordeal.

Rilian stayed close to Merlin’s side the whole time, Merlin’s hand resting on the boy’s shoulder. Gwen expressed dismay when Rilian revealed quietly that he was ten years old. Merlin knew she felt the same as he did – that Rilian looked younger than he should be.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rilian. I expect Merlin to be a good tutor in the ways of magic for you,” Arthur told him. Then he added almost uncertainly, “At least I hope so.”

That led Merlin to glaring at Arthur.

Mordred looked to be holding back a laugh.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I know he will be,” said Rilian with a tentative smile. “He is Emrys after all…”

“Yes well. Hard to tell sometimes with how he can be – tripping over things.” Arthur said with a wave of his hand.

“I think you should stop talking, Sire,” Merlin bit out as Rilian looked confused, unsure how to take Arthur’s insulting Merlin.

Arthur smiled at him. He looked vaguely conciliatory as he said, “My apologies, Merlin. Honestly now, I believe you will be in excellent hands, Rilian. Welcome to Camelot,” Arthur told him.

Mordred silently communicated to Merlin. “Rilian’s blond,” he only said.

“Thanks, Mordred. I was a bit blind so I hadn’t noticed that,” he shot back at him silently.

Mordred gave him a small wink, clearly amused by something Merlin didn’t feel the same way about. Or at least, Merlin didn’t want to directly address.

Rilian had needed his help, and Merlin had done the right thing and saved him. And now the boy would have a better life. That was all that mattered.

~ * ~

The following decade turned out to be the best years of Merlin’s life. One of the few dark spots was Gaius’s death only a year after the magic ban had been lifted. But Gaius had died a natural death and he was in peace when he’d died. Merlin had made sure his death was a painless one. He only hoped that he would be as a good a mentor to Rilian as Gaius had been to him. Gaius had reassured him that he did not doubt Merlin’s ability to raise Rilian, that the boy would be fine. Gaius’s words meant a lot to him.

Almost two years since he had taken Rilian, he started calling Merlin, “Father.” While the first time Rilian had tentatively addressed him as such startled Merlin, it soon became a very natural thing.

And when Merlin had to attend to his Court Sorcerer duties, Mordred sometimes looked after Rilian. Merlin almost couldn’t believe that once, he looked upon Mordred with suspicion and distrust. Yet now, he counted him as one of his closest friends along with Arthur and Gwaine.

Ten years passed before the dreaded battle at Camlann. Merlin was unable to protect Arthur due to a terrible illness. Morgana had captured him days before the battle. Arthur, Rilian and Mordred had rescued him from her clutches, but the damage had been done.

Morgana’s curse on him left Merlin in a miserable state. His magic felt weaker inside of him, and he could barely keep any food and drink down. He couldn’t walk without feeling the need to vomit and even simply standing led to him feeling dizzy and unpleasantly lightheaded. All he could do was lie in bed and wish Morgana the worst curse imaginable. Of course, Merlin together with Rilian had pored over spell books for an antidote, but the answer never changed. Only Morgana’s death would free Merlin of this cursed sickness as she had been the one to cast it.

Upon learning the solution, Arthur vowed to Merlin that he would strike Morgana down. That she would die.

Merlin couldn’t bear to tell Arthur that this battle may very likely be Arthur’s final one. He realized that these past ten years were a blessing and a gift for him and Arthur. But this one part of the prophecy -- that Arthur would fall at Camlann -- would not change. Merlin felt this deeply inside of him no matter how much he wished it could be avoided as befriending Mordred and revealing his magic had delayed the battle.

Merlin had to admit, regrettably, that Arthur would not be one to see old age. Yet he knew that Arthur would be proud to die an honourable death in a battle defending his beloved people of Camelot.

He was grateful to be granted these years with Arthur seeing him for what he truly was, and to have a son in Rilian. It hurt Merlin though that he didn’t think he’d have the strength to protect Arthur on the battlefield. Morgana had essentially crippled him. He had to have faith now in Mordred to take his place.

Mordred had assured him that he’d stay by Arthur’s side during the battle. Merlin knew that Mordred was well aware of the futility of that action. That Arthur’s fate at Camlann could not be easily prevented.

Still Merlin gave him a small smile, thanking Mordred for being a good friend.

Rilian stayed to look after Merlin, though Merlin had tried to convince him he’d be of better use on the battlefield. But Rilian, now a man of twenty, wouldn’t hear of leaving Merlin alone in misery. As his son, he would take care of him as Merlin had done for him the past ten years.

So it was during this time, as the battle at Camlann raged outside of Camelot, Merlin woke up from a restless sleep feeling ill at ease.

His fears came to light when a note tied in black ribbon had been left at his bedside table.

He removed the ribbon and unrolled the note. It was a message from Morgana.

The message said:

“I have Rilian.

This is an invitation to watch him die.

If you don’t come within the hour, he will die alone.

Morgana”

He had to go. Even if his magic was not as strong at the moment as he would’ve liked or this blasted sickness rendered him near invalid, Merlin could not leave his son to Morgana’s wrath.

So he called for his staff – a dark blue stick with golden and silver leaves wrapped up and down it. A golden dragon head was positioned at the top of the magical staff. Merlin hoped that the staff would strengthen the weak magic inside of him, that acting as a power boost it would be enough for Merlin when confronting Morgana. He couldn’t do much about the sickness except to tolerate it as best as he could. The thought of his son gave him the strength he needed, and also seeing Arthur on the battlefield. Perhaps he could aid Arthur as he’d dearly desired to.

~ * ~

Merlin was able to use his staff to transport himself to the battlefield. He was sorely tempted to collapse on to the ground once he’d arrived. But he wouldn’t give up that easily. He wouldn’t let Morgana’s curse prevent him from what he had to do.

While he’d wished his magic to lead him to where his son was, his heart broke when he saw the sight of Arthur laying so very still on the ground a few steps away.

It was then that he couldn’t stop himself from collapsing and crawling over to Arthur.

“Arthur?” Merlin whispered, feeling so lost. “Please…I never got to say…” He stopped. He just couldn’t continue.

He felt Arthur’s pulse and it confirmed what he already knew. Arthur was gone.

“Well, I’m surprised you came,” Merlin heard Morgana say behind him.

Painfully, Merlin stood up and gripped his dragon head staff like a lifeline.

He turned around to face Morgana. She had Rilian restrained in front of her, his hands bound and his mouth gagged. His face had bruises littered all over it. Morgana held a dagger to Rilian’s throat, and Merlin feared that one wrong move and she’d slit it.

“Rilian isn’t a part of this. I’m the one who poisoned you all those years ago, Morgana. I blame myself for what you’ve become. Your problem is with me, not him. Let him go,” Merlin demanded of her firmly.

The world around him started to spin unpleasantly as dizziness plagued him. He felt faint, but he said a silent prayer and stubbornly wouldn’t let his nagging sickness win.

“Oh no, Emrys,” Morgana said his prophetic name as an insult. “Rilian became a part of this when you took him in ten years ago. When he became like a son to you. If you didn’t want him involved, then you should have left him to those slavers,” she said.

Merlin looked at his son carefully. “Rilian, your magic. I know it’s difficult, but please try,” he spoke silently to him.

He knew that it was harder for Rilian to summon his magic when his hands were bound. But still, it wasn’t impossible. Rilian just needed to concentrate.

“Yes Father. The King…”

“I know. Do you know where Mordred is?” Merlin asked him.

“No. But I think Morgana did something to him…”

“I won’t let you win, Morgana. You took Arthur’s life,” Merlin said, unable to stop the grief from surfacing in his words. “You will not take my son’s.”

“Look at you. You can barely stand. How can you hope to defeat me?”

Merlin studied Morgana. There was something about how she carried herself. She was having trouble remaining on her feet, as the hand not clutching the dagger was pressed over her abdomen.

Had Arthur wounded her with Excalibur before Morgana struck the death blow on him?

Merlin hoped so.

“You’re wounded,” Merlin pointed out.

“Then I better finish this,” Morgana declared.

She readied the dagger, taking the sharp point and pricking the skin of his son’s neck in warning. Merlin saw Rilian wince.

“It’s a shame, you know, to kill someone so handsome. I was considering other uses for Rilian,” Morgana jibed Merlin with a wicked smile. She moved the dagger to his face and traced the blade down it, a thin trail of blood following in the weapon’s wake.

Merlin wished her unimaginable pain.

Rilian closed his eyes then.

“This will end,” Merlin told her fiercely.

He tapped his staff firmly to the ground, and the earth started to shake. But it was a contained spell as it was meant to only put Morgana off-balance, not anyone else. The energy and focus it took to do this incantation was a deep strain on Merlin in his current state. His body was pleading with him that he needed to sleep, that he couldn’t take this much excitement. Merlin refused to listen. Sleep would come when Morgana was dead – her curse on him lifted when that happened.

Morgana glared at him. “Damn you.”

Rilian’s eyes opened, and finally Merlin could see that he’d been able to reach his magic. Rilian’s eyes only glowed a brighter green, not gold like Merlin. Yet no matter the difference, his magic was still strong. He had taught his son well, and he never expected Rilian to be as powerful as him. Merlin knew he himself was a special case. As long as Rilian learned and did his best, then Merlin was proud of him.

Morgana dropped the dagger she’d been holding like it was suddenly too hot. Rilian’s doing. Merlin pulled Rilian away from her. Then he cast a spell to freeze Morgana in place as his body was screaming at him to stop exerting himself – magical and otherwise. He lay down his staff to focus his attention on his son.

He saw Rilian’s hands were unbound – he had managed to magick himself free. “Are you all right?” Merlin asked him, worried. He removed the gag from his mouth, throwing it away from them.

Grasping his son’s face, he looked him over to better see the extent of his injuries.

“I’m okay. You’re not. Please sit, Father,” Rilian requested of him. “You look so pale.”

Merlin fell to the ground, and Rilian went down with him. Tears flowed unheeded down his face as sorrow enveloped him.

Arthur was dead.

Arthur was gone.

“Father,” Rilian said softly.

“Please don’t leave me,” Merlin pleaded, the words spilling out of him before he could stop himself. He just didn’t want to be alone now.

“Of course I won’t. You’re my father,” he said with a small smile.

Merlin embraced him.

He saw Mordred approach, nursing his wound to the side. He looked unhappy and in pain.

“Mordred,” Merlin called to him.

Mordred only nodded at him, and slowly walked to Arthur’s body. He took Excalibur, the sword forged in dragon’s breath, which lay at Arthur’s right side.

While Merlin wanted the curse removed, he had a deep sense that Morgana could not die by his hand. And he was uncertain in his cursed state if he’d have the ability to kill her. After seeing Arthur dead before his eyes, he just didn’t have the heart to kill himself. Even if it was to avenge Arthur’s death.

That thought made him feel like a terrible friend – how could he not want to avenge Arthur’s death? The first thing he should have done was to kill Morgana the moment he saw her with Rilian. But he believed that’s not Arthur would have wanted for him. That instead, Arthur would have wanted him to live on, to do good by sharing his knowledge and wisdom and not to mourn his loss for the rest of his days. Merlin doubted he’d ever stop grieving Arthur, but he would try.

Morgana unfroze, but Mordred was there to meet her. He had Excalibur at the ready.

“I should help. Mordred’s wounded…” Rilian said to Merlin, making to stand up.

“No,” Merlin told him weakly. He blinked his eyes, feeling disoriented as the world spun around him though he was sitting still. His head was pounding and he wished it would stop. “I want you to stay here with me. Mordred will be fine.”

Rilian rarely didn’t listen to him. Even when Merlin had been expecting rebellion over these last few years as Rilian made the change from child to adult, Rilian remained his calm-tempered self for the most part.

In this instance, he was sure Rilian would not leave him.

His son bit his lip, but nodded. Merlin grabbed his hand and held it tightly.

“Mordred. Still confused I see,” Morgana said with a smirk.

“It’s over, Morgana,” Mordred said, pointing Excalibur at her. “Accept that.”

“I know your deepest secret,” she said. Blood fell out of her mouth, but she swept it aside uncaringly, her face now smeared with blood. “It’s a shame you’re dying.”

Mordred’s eyes darkened at that and then without a word, he struck Morgana with the sword. Morgana, while she was a powerful High Priestess, did nothing to stop him. Maybe she had given up, Merlin decided. She was on the verge of death already, and Mordred only needed to finish the job.

“Goodbye,” Mordred told her quietly as she fell to the ground, dead.

Mordred removed the sword from her body. He stumbled; his own fatal wound catching up to him now after his final act was accomplished.

Merlin felt Morgana’s curse leave him as his headache stopped and the world settled down and wasn’t making him so dizzy anymore. A black smoky looking thing left his body – visual evidence of the curse’s end. Merlin directed his staff at it to destroy the black mass so as to stop it from plaguing others.

Mordred collapsed, his legs giving out. Merlin and Rilian went to him – Merlin on his left side and Rilian on Mordred’s right.

“The sword…Merlin…” Mordred said in a whisper.

“I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. Thank you, Mordred. For everything.” Merlin told him with a small smile.

“And you, for being a friend to me…”

Merlin gave him a small smile and kissed his brow. “Until we meet again, goodbye, Mordred,” he told him solemnly.

Mordred smiled, acknowledging his words by grasping his hand.

He left the dragon head staff with his son, but he took Excalibur. “I’ll be near,” Merlin told him.

Turning back for only a moment, he saw Rilian holding Mordred’s hand – the two of them in the midst of a whispered conversation.

As he walked away, he sensed that Arthur was close by.

“You have my sword. That’s good of you,” he heard Arthur’s voice from behind him, though it had an echo to it. An echo that only spirits had.

Merlin turned around, and saw Arthur as a transparent ghost. He was wearing his crown and was resplendent in his red Camelot cape. It was the image of King Arthur that Merlin would always cherish and never forget.

“I plan to throw it back into the lake,” Merlin informed him, attempting to keep the tone light as Arthur was doing.

Arthur frowned. “I hope Excalibur doesn’t rust then.”

“Oh you prat. You know it’ll be magically protected,” Merlin shot back at him, almost forgetting that Arthur was dead and that come tomorrow, he wouldn’t have conversations like this with him again.

Arthur smiled. “Of course. Emrys would make sure of that.”

Merlin returned the smile with a shrug. Even now, when Arthur said his prophetic name, Merlin got a little thrill to know that Arthur knew his true identity, knew about his magic.

“Say hello to Freya for me,” Arthur said.

Merlin nodded. “I will,” he assured him. “Arthur…” He started, sadness coming over him.

“No. This won’t be goodbye. I won’t allow it. We’ll see each other again. I may not have magic, but I feel it, Merlin. Our story isn’t over.”

“You were born of magic. There is some magic inside you -- in a different way than me, but still… I hope so too – that our story will continue.”

“It will. I believe it, and I’m never wrong.”

“Of course,” Merlin agreed, humoring him a bit. He sighed, “Arthur, I…”

“Is Mordred dead?” Arthur asked him.

“I left him with Rilian. He was close to death.”

“There has been a shift, I think. Mordred’s gone,” Arthur told him. “Maybe I will see him soon.”

“Yes. That would be good. You won’t be alone then.”

“And you have Rilian. I am glad of that. I know this will be hard, Merlin. But don’t try to live out the rest of your life alone and miserable. I will hate it if you do. Rilian may be grown, but you’re still the only family he has.”

“I wasn’t planning on leaving Rilian behind,” Merlin told him indignantly. “I promise you I won’t slip away and live out my last years as a lonely recluse.”

Arthur nodded. “Good. I need to go very soon…I can’t stay much longer.”

“Arthur, I love you,” Merlin said to him.

It was a declaration he had made on more than one occasion over the last ten years, but this time was the worst in a way…because this was the final time. Arthur wouldn’t be there come morning.

“I wish I could kiss you,” Arthur told him. “But since I’m a ghost, I won’t feel it as well as I want to.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Merlin retorted.

He went to Arthur and placed his hand over his cheek, feeling the coolness of his spirit form. He saw how his fingers went through Arthur’s face, and it was a sight that unnerved him. Yet Merlin would not be deterred.

Arthur leaned forward and their lips met – Arthur’s cold ones and Merlin’s warm ones. It was like Merlin was experiencing the chill of autumn, but it wasn’t unpleasant because this was Arthur and that thought alone made the kiss one he would never forget.

“I love you, Merlin. More than I care to admit.”

Merlin cleared his throat, trying in vain to stop the tears threatening to fall. “This is an ‘I’ll see you later’, right?” He asked with a watery smile.

“Always,” Arthur said with such faith as he spoke that one word.

He faded away.

Merlin didn’t know how long he stood there, watching the spot where Arthur had been. As if he stared long enough, then he could magically wish Arthur back to his side.

Eventually, Rilian came to see how he was faring. His son wrapped his arms around him in an embrace without Merlin even needing to say anything.

~ * ~

Part 2 (final part) -->

AU Merlin fic: The Powerless Prince (3)

dk323 — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 03:53:33 GMT

~ * ~

THE FINAL PART

~ * ~

They ended their journey in the Winter Barrier early the following day. To his dismay, Arthur’s fear came to light.

The whole of Ealdor seemed to be there, waiting for them, judging them. They crowded around them as two of the men came forward – one who had his eye on Arthur and the other swiftly moved to manacle Merlin’s hands. Merlin didn’t resist, he just let himself be restrained. Arthur was worried about what they would do to him.

“What is your business here?” One of the men asked, staring Arthur down. He had brown hair and pale grey eyes. “What are you doing with Balinor’s son?”

Arthur hated the defeated look in Merlin’s eyes. So the villagers knew very well who Merlin was and as Merlin had warned, he was being persecuted – the villagers taking no chances. And his father’s name appeared to be Balinor.

“My name is Arthur. I’m seeking a key to end the plague of afflictions. I’m Pristinely Ungifted.”

The red-haired man who had Merlin restrained widened his eyes. “Why is a Pristinely Ungifted one consorting with a dangerous wizard of the First Order?”

“This Arthur is clearly out of his mind! The wizard has brainwashed him!” A woman in the crowd exclaimed. The rest of the villagers hummed their agreement.

“Merlin didn’t brainwash me. His magic doesn’t affect me,” Arthur defended Merlin while he remained unsettlingly quiet, just standing there with rusty manacles looking a bit lost and hopeless.

“Well he could have found non-magic methods,” the man questioning Arthur said decisively. “For now, we cannot trust you. We don’t know how the wizard has twisted your mind. We will keep you separated.”

“And tomorrow the wizard will be executed as is befitting,” the man who had Merlin said with a satisfied grin.

“No! You can’t!” Arthur said fiercely. “Leave him alone. Can’t you see he’s not fighting back? He’s not like his father. You have to give Merlin a chance.”

“Merlin has not told you, has he?” The grey-eyed man wondered.

Arthur looked to Merlin, silently pleading with him to speak. What was the man on about?

“Merlin, what is it?” Arthur asked him, softly coaxing an answer out of him.

Merlin’s now dull blue eyes pierced Arthur’s. And he finally spoke, “My father is still alive as far as I know. I can’t remember the last six months, but from what I do know, he’s still in exile.”

In all the revelations Arthur had been burdened, this one didn’t seem as surprising.

Arthur nodded to Merlin’s hand, the one with the ring on it. Could Merlin’s father have visited him that night the gremlins came? Without a doubt, that ring had to be a family one and Merlin’s father would be the most logical choice as the ring’s giver.

Merlin looked slightly startled at the ring on his finger. Arthur wasn’t sure how Merlin had missed the ring on his finger. Or had there been so much else going on that the last thing Merlin thought to question was the inexplicable appearance of his family emblem ring on his finger?

“And so,” the grey-eyed man spoke up then, “Balinor’s son Merlin must be punished in his stead. If his father is too cowardly to confront his fate, then he will contend the guilt of knowing his son died because of him.”

Arthur saw Merlin hang his head, ready to accept his fate.

“We should subdue the wizard,” the red-haired man declared.

The grey-eyed man nodded.

Arthur fought, trying to pull away, but the other man was too strong. And anyway, if he ran, he’d have to deal with a whole village coming after him.

“Hold still. We will only want to kill the wizard. When we’re sure you can be trusted, we’ll help you find the key you need.”

“How comforting,” Arthur muttered darkly to himself. “I want to keep my pack. You want to separate me from Merlin, fine, but all I ask is that you not take away my things,” Arthur negotiated.

Merlin’s journal not to mention Falcon was in the pack, and Arthur wanted to keep all that with him. Because he wouldn’t accept Merlin dying here. If Arthur kept the pack, then it was like a good luck charm for him – reassuring him that Merlin wouldn’t die. That they’d get out of this, together, and together they’d save the land.

“Very well,” the grey-eyed man agreed. “I will let you keep your belongings.”

Then he took out a dagger and cut into Arthur’s forearm. Arthur hissed in pain, but the cut wasn’t deep. It was enough though for the wound to bleed.

“Do you have the bracelet, Redmond?” The grey-eyed man asked the red-haired man.

Redmond nodded. “Yes. Should I put it on him?”

“Yes, do it now.”

Arthur realized what they would do. Merlin had told him that his Pristinely Ungifted blood was poison to wizards.

“No, don’t do it. Please don’t,” Arthur spoke urgently. “This is too much.”

But they ignored him.

Redmond put the bracelet around Merlin’s wrist and then the grey-eyed man gave him some of the blood he collected from Arthur in a vial.

After Redmond smeared the blood around the bracelet, the enchanted bracelet glowed a sickly yellow-green colour after the blood seemed to sink into it.

That was when Merlin screamed in such agony that Arthur wanted to rip that bracelet off him. He hated that he was partially to blame for Merlin’s pain. It was Arthur’s blood that was hurting him.

“Merlin, please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Arthur said in desperation. “You know I would never use my blood against you if I had a choice. I’m sorry for bringing you here, so sorry. Gods. Merlin.”

Merlin didn’t even look at him. He had fallen to the ground, still screaming like he was in the fiery pits of hell itself, and he was clawing at his face.

“Come on,” the grey-eyed man told him. “Give the wizard a strong sedative so he stays quiet. We have our confirmation about the strength of Pristinely Ungifted blood. Let him have his rest,” he directed Redmond.

Arthur was firmly led away, though he still couldn’t resist looking back at Merlin.

Mercifully, Redmond put a cloth over Merlin’s face and Merlin finally stopped screaming himself hoarse. He went limp to the ground, now in the grip of a deep sleep.

Redmond also removed the bracelet, to Arthur’s immense relief. Arthur hoped they wouldn’t put the bracelet on him again.

~ * ~

The next day, Arthur was grim as he followed the grey-eyed man, who had told him his name was Declan, out into the centre of the village where Merlin’s beheading would take place.

He couldn’t see Merlin there yet, but Arthur did see the axe ready and waiting to be used.

His attention was caught by a commotion outside one of the dwellings. A small girl wearing a hooded robe rushed out of her home. Arthur wondered if his eyes were deceiving him, but he was positive he couldn’t see any hair peeking out from the girl’s hood. Maybe the poor girl’s affliction had left her bare-headed?

“Grace, Grace!” Her father called. He looked weary; as if this wasn’t the first time his daughter had run off. “Don’t go too far! Take the special way, avoid the Winter Barrier,” he advised her.

The girl, Grace, looked back and that was when her pale blue eyes looked straight at Arthur.

Arthur noticed the key on a chain around her neck. He was drawn to it, unlike the other keys he’d seen on some of the villagers of Ealdor.

The girl had the key he needed. He could even see it close up in his mind’s eye. A butterfly was engraved on the front of the key.

But then it was too late. The girl ran off to who knew where. Arthur wasn’t sure if he’d be believed if he insisted that the girl had the key he desired. That he needed to find her now.

Yet he needed to save Merlin first. He couldn’t allow Merlin to die.

Unfortunately, Declan made him take a potion that calmed him down a little too well. He felt lethargic and found it too hard to muster up the movement to get to Merlin and save him. Arthur could only stand there as a blindfolded Merlin was put on the block and an axe cut off his head.

Merlin was dead.

Arthur stared despondently, horror taking hold of him, as he watched Merlin’s head roll down on to the ground.

Then he saw a man about his age some feet ahead of him, set apart from the crowd. No one but Arthur appeared to see him, so the mystery man must have been under an invisibility spell. He had dark hair and green eyes, green eyes that reminded of his mother actually. Could this be Mordred, the one Merlin told him about? His mother’s natural born son?

The man nodded at Arthur, and then he disappeared.

Arthur felt the earth below him shift and then his surroundings blurred and faded away. He was being pulled backwards.

~ * ~

Arthur woke up to find himself just outside of the Winter Barrier. Merlin was sleeping, head intact, and looking – well – not dead, so that alone relieved Arthur. He assumed that time must have rewound if they were back to where they had been a few days ago. And it was all thanks to the man who could have been Mordred. Maybe he’d see him again.

He attempted to get Merlin to wake up, but he remained fast asleep. Arthur bit his lip, but then his attention was diverted by a Faery flying in front of him. One who had a golden coronet on his head.

“Hello, I’m Pip, one of the princes of the Faery kingdom,” the Faery greeted him. “I have someone I think you want to see.”

“What happened? Did time rewind?” Arthur wanted to know. Then he realised he should at least introduce himself. “I’m Arthur, by the way.”

Pip nodded. “That was Mordred’s doing. He’s a good friend of Merlin’s and he wouldn’t let him die.”

“I wish I could thank him,” Arthur said.

“Oh he knows you’re grateful. Don’t worry. I expect Merlin won’t be too happy that Mordred took such a big risk.”

“I remember my mother telling me rewinding time is a dangerous spell. That’s why it’s rarely done,” Arthur recalled.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Who do you want me to see?” Arthur asked.

“You can come out now, Grace,” Pip told her.

Arthur couldn’t resist flashing a grateful grin. First Merlin was alive, now he would be able to get the key. Everything was coming together.

The little girl, Grace, approached him with a shy smile.

“Pip told me you needed my key because you’re the Pristinely Ungifted one and you can rid the land of afflictions.”

“Yes. He’s right. You know Pip?”

The girl shook her head. “Not very well.”

“We’ve just met,” Pip spoke up.

Grace blushed a little. “I hope you succeed. I hate my affliction,” she said passionately.

“What is it, if I may ask?” Arthur wondered. Was it just that she was without hair on her head?

She took a deep breath, looking toward Pip as if she could gain courage from the Faery prince.

Grace put down her hood. Arthur was horrified to see that she wasn’t just bare-headed, but half her skull was exposed. He could see the right side of her brain easily.

“I can live even with this problem, but it still doesn’t look nice. That’s why I wear my hood. I wish I had hair to cover it…” she said plaintively.

She sighed and put her hood back up.

“I promise you that I’ll end the afflictions and you’ll be cured,” Arthur assured her fiercely.

“Thank you,” Grace said. Then she removed the chain with the key on it from her neck. “Here’s the key,” and she gave it to Arthur.

Arthur nodded to her and smiled. He took the key off the chain and returned the chain to her. “Thanks for coming to me.”

Grace looked happy. “You’re welcome. I should return home. My father always worries about me,” she told him, her expression turning into a rather guilty one.

“Goodbye Arthur,” Pip called back to him as he used his Faery magic to transport Grace and himself to Ealdor.

It was after they’d left that Arthur wondered if he should have asked Pip about what to do with the key. But he had discovered the right key by his senses alone, so he should just trust his instincts again.

What was he meant to do with key?

He looked over at Merlin who was still asleep.

Nothing was coming to him. Maybe he should try to wake up Merlin again so he could help him out?

Arthur was grateful that he still had his pack with him complete with Merlin’s journal. If Merlin would just read that, then he could discuss this properly with him.

He was about to rouse Merlin awake when he was prevented from doing that. A man had grabbed a hold of him and pressed a sharp knife to Arthur’s throat.

Arthur gripped the key in his hand tightly like it was his lifeline.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Arthur demanded, trying his best not to panic.

“Rufus, wizard of the First Order. Merlin knows me well, knows how I like to inflict pain on others due to my affliction. Actually, little Merlin here is intimately familiar with my affliction,” he said with relish.

Arthur elbowed him in the gut, forcing Rufus back and away from him.

Arthur quickly turned around to face the wizard, but he was gone. Magically vanished most likely. Damn it.

Then he felt a blade pierce him in the abdomen. He collapsed to the ground, blood leaving him. There was so much blood. Arthur couldn’t look at it or he felt he’d be ill.

“Sorry. Couldn’t leave when the game wasn’t over,” Rufus said with a cold grin.

Arthur looked up at him, his eyes watering. He saw the blade that Rufus held was covered in his blood, Pristinely Ungifted blood.

And if his blood was poison to those of the First Order, then…

Arthur wasn’t able to finish that thought when he saw Merlin wake up. He expected the lack of recognition on his face as Merlin looked at him, but that reaction still hurt. Memory loss was a terrible thing no matter if it was partial or full memory loss.

“Look at that. Merlin has awoken,” Rufus said, amused.

“You can fuck off, Rufus,” Merlin shot back at him with such fierce hatred that it made Arthur flinch.

Then without hesitation, he closed in on Rufus. Arthur guessed that Merlin had slowed down time for a moment. Merlin grabbed the blade covered with Arthur’s blood and viciously stuck it through Rufus’s body.

“You should get your eyes checked. White glow on the blood. Blood which belongs to a Pristinely Ungifted one,” Merlin informed Rufus.

“No…no…they can’t exist…no,” Rufus uttered in disbelief.

Rufus refused to believe it even as Arthur watched his skin start burning and then flaking. It was rather disgusting. Then he was consumed by fire, the wizard’s screams the loudest sound in the area as he died a painful death.

“I knew one day you’d pay for your foolishness,” Merlin muttered to himself, speaking about Rufus.

“Merlin, my blood… it could hurt you too,” Arthur spoke up.

Merlin looked back at him, then he fell down beside Arthur. “Oh no. Who are you? If you’re Pristinely Ungifted, I can’t heal you with my magic…” Merlin said, sounding hopeless and very frustrated.

“I know you can’t. It’s okay. I’ll be okay… I’m Arthur. I haven’t known you for that long, but I still…you were helping me to cure the land…there’s a journal…wait…time rewound…it’s blank now…no…no.”

“Ssssh, don’t speak. You’re wasting energy. I’m sorry I don’t know you as well as you know me.”

Arthur felt his heart break at how sad Merlin sounded about not remembering him.

“…can’t choose…your affliction…” Arthur gasped out, fighting hard to breathe now. “I love you, Merlin.”

“Arthur?” Merlin said, but Arthur had stopped breathing. “Arthur! No. You can’t die!”

“You can’t leave me so soon,” he whispered quietly, hugging Arthur’s body to him.

Silent tears fell down his face but Merlin didn’t have the strength to wipe them away.

Merlin barely knew Arthur yet it was still painful to watch any man die, bleeding out before him, and as a Wizard of the First Order he could do nothing.

Then suddenly eight purple butterflies appeared, and they fluttered over Arthur’s body. Each butterfly glowed with an inner light, which caused Merlin to believe they were magical in nature.

“Are you here to help him?” Merlin asked.

He’d never seen butterflies with healing magic capabilities, but he was desperate for any sign of hope.

The butterflies only flew in a close-knit flock over Arthur’s chest. A tense moment later and Merlin was overwhelmingly relieved to see Arthur breathing again. His chest was going up and down as it should though Arthur slept on. Unfortunately his bleeding wound at the abdomen was still not healed.

~ * ~

“Merlin, we need to fix things,” Mordred told him softly as he sat down beside him. “Maybe the butterflies won’t heal him completely until you get the blood you need for the key.”

Turning to look at Mordred, Merlin was suspicious. Mordred was looking paler than he should be looking. In fact, he looked drained and his hands were trembling.

“What have you done, Mordred? Arthur told me time rewound. Did you have a part in that?” Merlin asked, a tone of accusation in his words.

“You were going to die. I had to stop that. It was a successful spell. I don’t regret doing it one bit. You matter more than me,” Mordred said with such great certainty that it made Merlin angry that Mordred would think so low of himself.

His true mother giving him away instead of raising him herself always left Mordred with a poor perception of himself. After all, if his mother didn’t think he was good enough to keep, then was he really worthy of anything? No matter what Merlin did, Mordred’s unhealthy view of himself was a stubborn beast.

“You rewound time after I died, didn’t you?” Merlin concluded. “That’s when a time rewind works best.”

Mordred nodded.

“The balance must be restored. Mordred…” Merlin said with a weary sigh.

“I know. I’m going to die. I’m glad I’ll die knowing that I saved your life. You don’t have to be upset, Merlin. I’m okay. I knew what would happen before I did the spell. But now we need the key to cure the land.”

Merlin still gave Mordred a hard, displeased look; but let him change the subject.

“The key is in his hand,” Merlin said. He went to take the key from Arthur’s hand.

“The key has to be covered with his blood. Do you have anything to protect your hands?” Mordred asked.

Merlin eyed the pack. “Maybe, in there…” he decided.

He opened up the pack and took out the journal Arthur told him about. Merlin remembered Mystra giving it to him. He pulled out a stuffed Merlin falcon toy. He admired the look of the bird. Impressive, he thought.

He set the bird aside too. Then he found what he could use for his hands. Dark red mittens with a falcon on each mitten.

Merlin changed them into gloves so they’d be easier to grasp the key.

Gloves protecting his hands from the poisonous Pristinely Ungifted blood, Merlin set about the unhappy task of covering the key with Arthur’s blood. It wasn’t difficult to do as the key was small and there was so much blood coming from Arthur and pooling around him. The sight made Merlin sick and want to cry.

Arthur couldn’t die.

Once the key was completely coated with blood, Merlin was relieved to see the miracle-making butterflies heal Arthur’s wound.

Merlin didn’t know how these magical creatures were healing Arthur when no magic should work on him. But he was grateful all the same for their appearance and desire to help him when Merlin could not. As soon as they finished healing Arthur, the butterflies vanished just as mysteriously as they had appeared.

He looked to Mordred. “Do you know where to put the key?”

“There’s a black circle with a white phoenix in its centre in front of you,” Mordred told him.

Merlin looked at the spot Mordred was pointing to. He only saw grass.

“It’s only something you can see, I’m guessing. With your black and white vision.”

Mordred nodded. “But the trick is you need to stick the key into the phoenix. Not me. So I need to make you see it. I have a spell. It can be reversed, but not for me of course because afflictions are pains like that,” he said. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I have to see like you?” Merlin repeated, curious to see the world from Mordred’s perspective, but anxious to be deprived of seeing colours even for a short span of time.

“Only for a few moments. It won’t be too bad. I’ve survived it.”

Mordred pressed his fingers to Merlin’s brow and said a few words in the Old Tongue.

And then Merlin saw everything differently. Everything was a careful mix of black and white. Arthur was mostly white in colour due to his fair skin and blond hair, but his clothing was mostly dark with touches of white. Mordred’s hair was a pure black with his skin a very white colour.

Merlin almost wanted to laugh because this was such a bizarre experience.

“Do you see it?” Mordred asked him after Merlin got oriented.

Merlin looked in front of him, and it was as Mordred had said. There was a black circle with a white phoenix.

“I see it.” Merlin answered him.

He pierced the key into the body of the phoenix. Yet nothing was happening.

The vision spell reversed on its own as if Merlin’s mind couldn’t bear to be deprived of colour for too long.

All the colours flooding back into the world overwhelmed Merlin. He had to blink a few times to get used to the colours again.

He saw the key was still in the grass. He was unable to see the circle and phoenix now.

“It doesn’t look like it worked,” Merlin voiced, puzzled and upset.

Mordred frowned. Merlin saw that he was looking worse by the minute. Death was coming soon for Mordred. He was shivering and sweating and his expression was one full of misery and pain.

“Mordred, I think…”

“You need me!” A small voice exclaimed, sounding urgent.

“Pip…” Mordred whispered, smiling at the Faery.

“How can you help?” Merlin asked.

“It has to be non-magic and magic blood together on the key,” Pip explained. “Simple. And as a Faery, I’m a purely magical being. Even more so than you First Order wizards.”

“How much of your blood do we need?” Merlin wanted to know, looking at how small Pip was. It looked like all his blood would be necessary to cover the key fully. And Merlin didn’t want the Faery to die.

“Just a little bit of blood. As a tiny magic boost, that’s all. No harm to me,” Pip reassured him. Then he peered over at Mordred. “You don’t look well, Mordred,” he said in concern.

“Don’t mind me. Curing the land is more important,” Mordred said firmly.

Pip frowned, but he flew over to the key regardless. He pricked his finger and let a few drops of blood fall on to the key.

His blood glowed purple while Arthur’s glowed a bright white.

The three of them all heard enchanting, bell-like music. It was the most beautiful sound all of them had ever heard.

The land around them started glowing both white and purple. The two colours mixed together until the glow became a pretty pale purple.

Eventually the glow subsided and the music faded away, leaving them with one last haunting beautiful note.

Merlin looked to Mordred. “Your affliction?” He asked, wanting to know if the key had worked. That the afflictions were gone.

Mordred started blinking, looking around him as if seeing the world for the first time. “Honestly. How do the rest of you get any work done with all these colours around?” He said.

Then he grinned at Merlin and Pip.

Merlin smiled, happier than he’d felt in a while. He couldn’t believe it. The key had worked.

If only Arthur were awake to see it…

Merlin glanced over at Arthur who was still in the grips of a deep slumber.

“What about your memory loss?” Mordred asked him.

Merlin shook his head. “I still don’t remember Arthur properly. To me, the first time I saw him was today when Rufus had attacked him.”

“Rufus! I hate that man,” Mordred said.

“I killed him.”

“Good,” said Mordred, pleased. “Maybe you’ll know your memory loss is gone after sunrise tomorrow. That’s when you forget after all. With the cure in place, tomorrow might be the reverse for you.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I hate having to wait,” Merlin said.

“But you’ll be better. If Mordred is cured, then you should be too,” Pip said confidently.

“I hope so.”

“I think…I can’t hold on any longer,” Mordred whispered. He lay down on the ground, his hand to his sweaty brow.

“Mordred, no… I don’t want you to die… I’m not ready to say goodbye,” Merlin pleaded with him.

He grasped Mordred’s hand while Pip settled below Mordred’s chin.

“Well you have to be ready… there’s little time. I made my choice. Never blame yourself. I couldn’t be happier. Live, Merlin. Okay? Go and see…your…daughter…look after…my…son,” Mordred said, speaking slowly in a bare whisper.

“Yes, I will. I won’t let you down,” Merlin reassured him quickly.

Mordred smiled at him, a peaceful look upon his face as he passed away.

Pip flew to Mordred’s brow and kissed him there. He looked terribly sad.

“I will. I promise you, Mordred. I’ll make sure your son knows how good you were,” he promised out loud again. He hoped Mordred’s ghost would hear him.

“Merlin?”

Merlin turned around.

“Arthur? You’re awake!” Merlin said, pleased to see him up. “The land is cured thanks to the key. I’m hoping by sunrise tomorrow, I won’t have my memory loss and I’ll remember you as I should.”

Arthur smiled, letting Merlin embrace him. Then Arthur noticed the dead man nearby, the dark-haired man he believed to be Mordred. It was a sight he couldn’t bear to see. Healing the land shouldn’t involve someone dying.

“Is Mordred…?” He asked Merlin.

“He paid the price for doing the time rewind spell. He knew the consequences,” Merlin told him quietly.

Arthur sighed. He didn’t even get the chance to thank him for saving Merlin’s life.

Pip spoke then. “It’ll be a new day tomorrow. Everyone will be grateful to you both for what you’ve done.”

“How I am alive though? I was sure I would die,” said Arthur.

Pip answered when Merlin looked at a loss as to how to explain Arthur’s miraculous recovery.

Arthur didn’t miss Pip looking uncertainly at Merlin as if he would take offence to what the Faery prince would say next. “A long time ago, when that wizard of the First Order put more magic than was safe into the land, the Queen of the Faeries raised her concerns to him. Unfortunately the wizard disregarded the Queen’s words and failed to seek a way to undo his actions. Mystra, leader of the First Order…” But Pip was interrupted by Merlin.

“I remember learning that history. Mystra told me and others within the Order about how she wouldn’t stand for those of the First Order to have such a poor relationship with Faeries. She found it an outrage that a wizard would not listen to a high-standing member of Faery society. That was why she ensured that future generations would be taught to respect and listen to the Faeries. That despite their small size, that didn’t mean we should not take them seriously.”

“We have just as much magic, maybe even more powerful, than that of a First Order member,” Pip noted.

Merlin nodded. “A truth sometimes forgotten, but yes.”

“So what does this have to do with me being healed now?”

“The Faery Queen, Clara her name was, desired to do something to aid the Pristinely Ungifted one who would cure the land centuries from her time. She was my ancestor, you see, so I know this story well. She made sure that the innocent soul who would be keeper of the key would live no matter her affliction. This child, Grace, as you know Arthur, lives even if another person with her condition may not have been so lucky. She was able to give you the key you required as a result. As for you, Clara wanted you to live too – to ensure the land is healed, of course, but also afterwards that you would serve as a living reminder to all First Order members that they are not invincible. She didn’t want you dying before your time, but to live a long life instead. With you being Pristinely Ungifted, you force Order members to remember that using their powerful magic won’t protect them every time.”

Arthur glanced sideways at Merlin, wondering what he was thinking about all this. Arthur didn’t like his presence being meant to remind Merlin and others of his kind that they can be just as weak and powerless as anyone else. Well, for someone like that Rufus who had stabbed him, Arthur would have to make an exception. He was not upset at all that his blood led to Rufus dying.

Merlin gave Arthur a small, assuring smile. “It’s okay. I understand why Queen Clara would do such a thing. It’s foolish to believe that no one can hurt you. With all our power, my kind can forget that…but I’m glad you’re here, Arthur. And I’m grateful to have met you, and I hope to remember all the other things we did together.”

“You’re taking this well…” Arthur said, perplexed. “I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you, Merlin,” he assured him.

Merlin rubbed his brow like he had a headache. “Yes. I trust you won’t.” Then he turned his attention to Pip. “So the purple butterflies and your blood glowing purple? That’s all Faery magic, is it?”

“Wait a moment. Butterflies? When did that happen?” Arthur spoke up, confused.

“When you were on the edge of death,” Merlin told him. “Eight butterflies came to heal you. They must have been a part of the Faery Queen’s plan to make sure you live. And Pip gave some of his blood to mix with your blood on the key. The spell to cure the land succeeded thanks to adding Pip’s blood.”

“It was Faery magic,” Pip confirmed. “Other beings may forget that the source of Faery magic is different from that of magic gifted to humankind. Our magic comes from water, an ever-pure source of magic. That’s why Faery magic compliments the magic of a Pristinely Ungifted one. Both magicks are pure in their own way -- Faery magic purified by water and Pristinely Ungifted non-magic purifying most other magicks by stopping their effects. The butterflies were imbued with Faery magic and were able to heal you, Arthur. And also, the Faery magic in my blood cooperated with your blood to bring an end to the afflicted land.”

“So Faery magic can be used on me?” Arthur voiced.

He touched his hazel tree necklace thoughtfully. What if his mother had used Faery magic to make the necklace work on him?

Pip nodded. “There are limitations such as Faery magic cannot cause you ill. Only a positive effect like healing you will work.”

“There’s a chance my mother used such magic to make the hazel tree pendant work on me.”

Arthur showed him his hazel tree pendant. Pip flew up to his neck to inspect it.

“Most likely,” Pip agreed as he took a closer look at the magical pendant. “I don’t know of any other magic that could have an effect on you.”

Arthur was glad to finally know what sort of magic had been behind the pendant. Though now it didn’t make much difference since his mother was dead, the power of the pendant gone as a result. But maybe in the future, the information would be useful. He couldn’t say no to quicker magical healing.

“I need to check on Mordred…” Merlin spoke up, his voice very quiet.

Arthur was worried for him.

He had a feeling Merlin would break. Not even undoing a centuries-old curse on the land could fully take away the grief for the loss of a close friend.

“All right. I’ll still be here. Pip and I will help you with anything you need,” Arthur assured him.

Pip nodded. “Yes. You’re not alone.”

Merlin acknowledged their support with a nod, but he still appeared upset. His earlier happiness felt like so long ago now.

Arthur watched him go over to Mordred and readjust his hands to a position Merlin deemed appropriate.

“Merlin still carries his affliction,” Pip said to Arthur. “Sometimes an affliction can give a person strange side effects like their mood shifting quickly.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Arthur agreed.

He remembered Merlin shunning him after he found his journal to be blank. And then how not long afterwards, Merlin was all too interested in getting intimate with Arthur. “I want to help if I can. He helped me to cure the land, so I will remain to support him.”

“I think you and him are a good match.” Pip commented.

“I think…I really do care for him. I haven’t known him for that long, but being with him, by his side, feels like the best choice I could ever make,” Arthur said sincerely, feeling that he truly meant every word.

Pip smiled. “It’s a nice feeling to have. I wish some day that I would feel the same for another,” he said hopefully. “I believe you’d like to meet your true mother? Queen Ygraine? I work with the First Knight of Camelot, and whenever you are ready I could come with you to see her. It’d be good to enter Camelot with someone like me who is familiar with the kingdom. I know my way around. I’m sure you’ll be anxious enough without figuring out how to navigate the place.”

“Thank you. I’ll take you up on that offer one day soon.”

“Not a problem. Merlin can come too if he wants to,” Pip told him. “Now unfortunately I must leave. I need to return to that First Knight, Sir Lancelot is his name. He’ll be wondering where I am. Good luck to you, Arthur.” He wished him.

The Faery prince said goodbye to Merlin as well with a small wave. Merlin looked up, giving a small wave in return.

Then Pip was gone, disappearing in a small burst of purple light.

Arthur looked over at Merlin, sighing as he did so. He went over to where he saw Falcon lying on the ground. Always feeling better with Falcon with him, Arthur took the bird toy in hand.

He sat down beside Merlin who was still by Mordred’s dead body.

But now Merlin was peering at the family emblem ring on his finger.

“Merlin…” Arthur began, then stopped. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“My father visited me, and I don’t remember it. I hope I never will.”

“I think you will with the sunrise tomorrow. No one likes the bad memories, but sometimes they make the good memories even better,” Arthur said as gently as he could.

“I hate him,” Merlin said. “Because of his affliction, my mum and sister paid the worst price imaginable. How dare my father give me this ring? It’s a reminder of how our family came to ruin. And don’t you see, Arthur?” He looked to Arthur, such a fierce almost wild expression on his face that it surprised Arthur.

“What is it?”

“I think that First Order wizard, the one who put too much magic into the land centuries ago… he was of my bloodline. He was my ancestor, he had to be. Why else was I the First Order wizard who was supposed to help you save the land? It was so I could fix the wrongs of my ancestor.”

“Do you have any other proof? Do you know for sure?”

“I can never know for certain. Mystra made the First Order forget what bloodline that wizard came from when the afflictions became a nightmare for everyone. She didn’t want the family to be shunned for their connection to the wizard who started the whole mess.”

“Then you should let it go if you’ll never know the truth. I won’t leave you if you are related to the wizard. It doesn’t matter if you share the same blood as him. You are Merlin, and you are a good person. Anyway, in the end, that wizard had thought he was doing the right thing. It was wrong that he was stubborn enough to disregard a Faery Queen’s advice, but he isn’t the first to be stubborn and he won’t be the last. I admit I’m not the most worldly of people, but I have faith in your goodness,” Arthur told him earnestly, hoping his words would get through to Merlin.

“I’m glad you’re here, Arthur,” Merlin finally spoke after several long moments of silence.

Arthur then offered Falcon to Merlin. “Here. This bird is named Falcon,” he told him, understanding that with Merlin’s memory loss, he wouldn’t remember what Arthur had told him about the bird. “I’ve had him all my life, but now I think you need him more than me.”

Merlin hugged Falcon to him, and Arthur saw silent tears fall down on Merlin’s face. He let Merlin use his shoulder to rest his head.

“We’ll give Mordred a funeral fitting for the hero he was. What do you say?” Arthur suggested.

“That would be good. Yes. He deserves that,” Merlin said in agreement, giving a small sad sigh afterwards.

Arthur felt right sitting there with Merlin. They had cured the land together, and he didn’t doubt that they could conquer any other task life sent their way.

~ * ~

Epilogue:

Merlin did remember the past six months, his memory loss reversed come sun rise the following day. With Merlin being freed from his affliction, Arthur had felt that they had now truly succeeded.

The funeral for Mordred was on one of the most beautiful lakes Arthur had ever seen. Merlin’s wizard’s fire lit the boat that carried Mordred. It was a dark night, and the flames overtook the boat like a light in the darkness.

Arthur was not surprised when Merlin collapsed to the ground, cursing Mordred for dying when Merlin deserved to die, not him.

Coming down to sit beside him, Arthur tried his best to comfort Merlin.

“Merlin, please,” he pleaded. “If it was possible, I’d want Mordred to be alive now. But he gave his life for you, and it was his choice. You have to respect that, Merlin. I know it can be hard, but I’m sure that’s what Mordred would have wanted you to do. I may not have known him like you did yet I don’t think he would’ve wanted you to be alone and miserable.”

Merlin looked to Arthur, his face pale and unhappy. “Mordred…he told me to live and not to blame myself but I still don’t like someone dying for my sake.”

“I know. I would feel awful too. It’s not easy, but I’m here to help you. I won’t leave you, Merlin. I promise.”

“Why are you still with me? Anyone else would see I’m not worth it.”

“Then they’re mad. You are worth it to me,” Arthur told him firmly. Then he confessed, “You’re my first true friend. I’m not going to abandon you when you need me the most.”

“Thank you,” Merlin said to him, giving him a sincere smile.

They both sat in silence for a long time, the fire from the boat becoming but a pinprick of light as the boat settled off in the distance.

Eventually, Merlin stood up and began to remove his clothing. “I’m going into the lake,” he told Arthur before he could ask.

“It’s probably freezing,” Arthur noted.

“Not this lake. Join me if you want,” he offered to him.

Arthur watched Merlin unapologetically walk into the lake, completely naked. It was the first time Arthur had ever seen Merlin naked, and he idly wondered how he’d look in daylight. The present darkness made seeing him properly difficult. While this was probably the last thing Merlin should be doing after a funeral for his friend, Arthur accepted that people did strange things to cope with loss. So Arthur wouldn’t stop him. He decided to take Merlin’s offer, and followed his lead, taking off his clothes and going into the lake, feeling half-mad while doing so. Just in case Merlin decided to drown himself, Arthur felt the only way to keep his friend safe was to be closer to him.

Fortunately Merlin had been right and the water was warm despite it being a cool night.

“My mum,” Merlin spoke up as he floated on his back in the water. Arthur floated beside him. “She loved to be in the water. Said it made her happy. That after swimming in the water, she felt truly alive.”

“I can’t argue with her there.”

“I miss her,” Merlin said in a plaintive voice. “I really do.”

Arthur didn’t know what to say. He felt words weren’t enough. So he just grasped Merlin’s hand.

“I miss my mother too. Even if she kidnapped me, I still believe she loved me as if I were her own son,” Arthur confided in him.

“Life should make more sense instead of being a tangled mess,” Merlin said after a long moment, sighing afterwards.

Arthur agreed with him wholeheartedly.

~ * ~

A week later, Arthur went with Merlin to see Merlin’s daughter, Lily. Arthur decided that afterwards, with Pip as a guide, he’d head to Camelot to meet the mother he had never known. Merlin had agreed to go with Arthur and Pip. Arthur had been grateful for that because he felt Merlin being there with him would provide him with the strength he needed to see his mother.

As fast as her four-year old feet could take her, Lily rushed out of the two-storied dwelling to meet her father.

Merlin’s daughter had a flurry of blonde curls, taking after her mother, but her eyes were the same shade of blue as Merlin’s. She was wearing a pale blue dress and there were tiny jewels – white, blue and pink – throughout her hair.

Merlin grinned genuinely at her and swept her up in his arms.

“Daddy! Look what I got!” Lily exclaimed. She waved a magical toy of a blue dragon breathing out a fire-coloured phoenix.

Arthur thought it was quite an impressive-looking toy. It reminded him of Falcon and how almost magical and alive he felt.

“It’s beautiful, sweetheart. That’s our family symbol,” Merlin said to her. Arthur felt the burden in Merlin’s words, knowing how that symbol reminded Merlin of things he’d rather forget.

“That’s why I love it,” said Lily, smiling. She kissed her father on the nose.

“Did Brigit give it to you?” Merlin asked her.

Brigit was Lily’s caretaker, Arthur had been told by Merlin. She was also the mother of Mordred’s infant son.

Lily shook her head.

Then Arthur saw Merlin’s eyes widen and he was suddenly very still, everything about him indicated shock. He soon saw what had caused Merlin to react in this way.

An older man who resembled Merlin except for the greying hair and beard was in front of the home. It had to be Merlin’s father. The older man just stood there, making no move to approach Merlin as if unsure whether or not he was welcome.

Arthur thought this would be good for Merlin. If the afflictions had been lifted, then that would mean Merlin’s father wouldn’t have his paranoia anymore. Merlin had to take this opportunity to reconcile with him.

“Merlin?” Arthur spoke up.

Lily was looking concerned at her father’s behavior. Arthur was somewhat worried that Merlin would drop Lily due to being distracted by his father’s unexpected presence.

“Daddy?” Lily whispered.

Merlin turned to him. “Arthur…could you…could you take Lily?” Merlin asked him. “Lily dear, Arthur’s a good friend of mine. You stay with him, okay?” He told her as he set his daughter down on the ground.

“But daddy…the pretty dragon toy…grandpa gave it to me,” she informed him. “I like him. He’s nice.”

“I’m glad to hear that, love. I’ll just talk to him for a little while,” Merlin told her, smiling at her.

Arthur could almost feel the tension and anticipation on Merlin as he walked toward his father.

“Good luck, Merlin,” Arthur wished him. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

Merlin turned his head and he gave him a nod, understanding.

Soon, Merlin and his father entered the house together and they were out of view.

Lily was still beside Arthur. She tugged on his trousers. “Arthur?”

“Yes, Lily?” He asked. He knelt down so that he was on eye-level with her.

“Why do you have a white glow? Are you an angel?” The little girl wondered innocently.

Arthur wanted to laugh at the thought that he’d be seen as an angel. Fortunately he managed to hold back the laughter.

“No, I’m not. I just have a special type of magic, that’s all,” Arthur explained, deciding that was easier than telling a young child about his Pristinely Ungifted condition.

“Wow,” Lily declared with an awed look in her blue eyes.

Arthur smiled, and patted her on the head. He was grateful that Lily didn’t have to suffer an affliction thanks to what Merlin and he had done. And he thought of the Keeper of the Key, Grace. He sincerely hoped she had been freed of her physical affliction.

Freed from the curse of afflictions, the world seemed like a much brighter place now. And with the bond he shared with Merlin, Arthur couldn’t be happier.

~ * ~

The End

AU Merlin fic: The Powerless Prince (2)

dk323 — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 03:47:02 GMT

~ * ~

PART TWO

~ * ~

One week later:

Merlin was sitting in a chair by a window, staring unseeingly ahead of him, and appearing to be deep in thought. Mordred took note of the dark circles under Merlin’s eyes from a lack of sleep. In his hands, Merlin clutched the journal full of his memories of the month his amnesia had made him forget. Mordred had just managed to stop Merlin from burning the journal the other day. According to Merlin, writing down things before he forgot them only made the situation worse. That he’d never get those memories back where he wanted them – in his mind.

“It’s been a month now since you’ve been afflicted, Merlin. Not sleeping won’t stop the sun from rising.”

“You never know, it might,” Merlin said stubbornly. He threw the journal across the room. “I hate reading that journal…it’s like I’m reading about someone else’s life. It’s useless. What I felt, what I thought at the time… nothing.”

“A few more months and you’ll get used to it. The journal is the best thing you have to help you through this,” he reminded Merlin as he picked up the journal and returned it to him. “You should be grateful that you were spared your father’s affliction.”

“And that makes me feel terrible…that I’m complaining about this when I could’ve had a lot worse. But… what if I still could become as paranoid as my father? If it could be an inherited condition as well as his affliction?”

“You won’t. Believe me, Merlin. That’ll never happen,” said Mordred firmly. “You’re the last person who would lose yourself like that. You have your affliction now, and you should be happy that it’s something you can live with.”

“That it won’t destroy my life as it did with my father,” Merlin finished dismally.

Merlin sighed. He didn’t speak for what seemed like a long time. But Mordred could tell that Merlin wanted to say something more.

“In the journal, I wrote about a man I met. He was a little younger than me, and I think he’s important, Mordred,” he told him, but then he frowned. “Of course any sane person will grow weary of my problem and leave… and he deserves that. I just…based on what I wrote; I’d hate it if he left, if he gave up on me. I’ll never properly know him,” Merlin said, frustrated.

“What’s his name?” Mordred asked.

Merlin shrugged, idly turning the pages of his journal. “Arthur, I think.”

“Listen, if this Arthur cares about you, then he will stay. If he doesn’t give you a chance, then he isn’t worthy of you.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Merlin said, sounding hopeless, Mordred’s words not quite having the effect he wanted.

“That’s it. I’m going to have you drink a sleeping potion even if I have to force it down your throat. You will get a full night’s sleep, and you will stop dreading the sunrise and instead embrace your affliction. Living with your amnesia will get better. While I’ve never known life without my affliction, I understand what it is to yearn for what you’ve lost…or for what you never had in the first place in my case. Everyone who has an affliction knows this suffering, Merlin. You are not alone. You just have to be brave and don’t let this ruin your life. Please. For me.” Mordred almost pleaded with him.

“I’ll try,” Merlin said after a long moment. “I will do my best.”

Mordred counted that as a good start.

Five months later:

“Mother, I’m going to see the sunrise,” Arthur told her.

He kissed her on the cheek before leaving.

“Happy birthday, my dear. Eighteen years. I can’t believe time passed by so quickly,” she said, sighing wistfully.

Arthur embraced her and then he went on his way. It had become a tradition these last few years to wake up before dawn to see the sun rise on the anniversary of his birth. The sight never failed to fill him with hope and belief in a brighter tomorrow, that the next year would be a good one.

Of course he made sure he took Falcon with him. Arthur climbed a tree and kept Falcon grasped in one hand. He peered up at the sky and watched it lighten with warm golds, reds and yellows.

And that was when the world surrounding him changed.

~ * ~

“What is going on? Do you know, Pip?” Sir Lancelot asked the Faery prince who rested upon his shoulder.

He surveyed the suddenly white sky and the entire land around him turning white as if by a magical spell.

The young prince flew down off his shoulder, his delicate wings glinting with a light not unlike starlight. He landed on the ground and pressed his tiny hands to it, a thoughtful look in his eyes.

“I think the magic levels in the land have decreased,” he concluded. “It’s still at undesirable levels but lower than before. It’s a start at least. Only one person could do such a thing.”

“A Pristinely Ungifted one,” Lancelot answered, understanding. “So our hope was not in vain. Prince Arthur yet lives. The Queen will be glad to hear the news.”

“Yes. And he has turned eighteen. This act on his birthday is just the beginning. Soon, if all goes well, magic will no longer be poisoning the land. Afflictions will be a thing of the past. You’ll be cured, Lancelot,” Pip said with a smile.

“I hope so,” he said with a sigh, flinching as the pain in his glove-covered hands flared up.

Now, eighteen years after the prince’s kidnapping, Lancelot found little relief from keeping his hands covered. Even the powerful magic ointment didn’t provide him the long-lasting respite from pain he so yearned for. The only thing he could do is to stay true to his knights training and bear the pain as well as he could. There were worse pains than this, he knew. He felt proud of the fact that he had managed to live with this daily pain and still do his knightly duties. Though some days he had been tempted to cut off his hands for the relief, but Lancelot never succumbed to that temptation.

Fortunately too, the sixteen-year old Pip proved to be a welcome companion though he was only as tall as Lancelot’s longest finger. He helped Lancelot to be more positive when his affliction sometimes made him gloomier than he would’ve liked.

Due to Queen Ygraine’s alliance two years ago with the Faery kingdom, the Faery King offered the assistance of his youngest son, one of his many children, as a guide for Lancelot. While he served a sorceress Queen, Lancelot himself was not magic, but he did sympathize with those who possessed magic. So he was grateful to have Pip as a guide in all things magical by his side.

His attention was diverted when he felt the Faery return to his shoulder, concealing himself behind his ear. Lancelot didn’t miss Pip’s anxious expression.

“It’s a gremlin,” Pip said quietly. “Almost half of my Father’s kingdom has been killed by them. Ever since the afflictions began long ago, the gremlins have been thriving…”

Lancelot looked ahead of him, finally seeing the gremlin appear before his eyes. An unpleasant grin graced the creature’s face. “Come out, come out wherever you are,” said the gremlin.

He was a blue winged creature with dark glowing eyes. “You Faeries are so dull…never want to play.” The gremlin let out a cold laugh.

“Come closer, and you’ll know death,” said Lancelot as the troublesome creature set his sights on the knight.

“Aren’t you the knight harboring a Faery prince? I can fetch a nice price for one of those, even more for a dead one.” The gremlin remarked, looking amused with himself as he snickered.

Lancelot felt Pip trembling a little on his shoulder. The Faery had become invisible.

“A lot of foolhardiness you have facing the First Knight of Camelot,” said Lancelot.

“But I have magic, and you do not,” said the gremlin, sounding far too smug.

“Look around you. The land is white. A Pristinely Ungifted one is in our midst. I doubt you’d feel so confident facing such a being,” Lancelot pointed out, smiling slightly as the gremlin’s eyes widened, realizing the potential threat he might have to deal with.

Then the gremlin froze.

“Just kill him,” said Pip tiredly. “Please.”

Lancelot took out his dagger and cut off the creature’s head, the gremlin falling to the ground like an overgrown fly.

“Are you okay, Pip?” he asked him, seeing Pip reappear. The Faery flew to Lancelot’s open palm so he could face him properly.

“I’ve been better… it’s just when I was growing up, my older brothers told stories of close encounters with gremlins. One of my brothers was murdered by the gremlins when I was younger. They ripped him apart like animals…no shred of decency.”

Lancelot heard the anger underlying Pip’s words, the frustration he clearly felt about the terrible way his brother was killed.

“I’m sorry, Pip.”

Pip sighed, tracing the lifelines on Lancelot’s palm. “Thanks. I try not to let the fear overwhelm me…but it’s hard,” he admitted. “We should look for Queen Ygraine’s son. It’d be good to focus on that… hopefully no more gremlins will be about.”

“If there will be any, I’ll make sure nothing happens to you,” Lancelot promised.

Pip looked grateful, but Lancelot didn’t miss the worry still hanging over him.

~ * ~

Arthur didn’t know what to make of everything – from the sky above to the ground below and even the trees – suddenly turning a pure white colour.

Had he done this? His mother had told him in the past that he had a white glow surrounding him if one looked over him with a careful eye. Arthur expected that’s what Merlin saw too when he determined that Arthur had magic neutralizing abilities.

If Mystra said that he’d be able to change things upon his eighteenth birthday, then maybe this could be the start. Arthur headed home, planning to discuss this with his mother.

But when he neared the cottage, he was shocked to find his mother on the ground gasping for breath. Arthur rushed to her, dropping his pack with Falcon inside on the way.

“Mother?” He said in shock and deep worry. Was his mother dying?

Arthur collapsed beside her, grasping her hand.

“My time with you is at an end,” his mother said softly as she struggled to breathe.

“No, no. Don’t say that. I still need you.” Arthur assured her, desperation in his tone.

“I love you… I am sorry. Falcon was given to you by your true mother. I took him because you were crying, and he calmed you. Know that I loved you as a son, Arthur…please forgive me.”

“Mother? No, please, don’t leave me.”

It was too late. His mother was gone, dying before Arthur had a chance to process her confession.

Did his mother just admit to not being his real mother? And if she had been seeking forgiveness, then… did that mean that he’d been kidnapped?

Arthur didn’t know how to feel. Even if his mother – or who he had always seen as his mother – had actually been his kidnapper, Arthur couldn’t erase eighteen years of caring and affection she’d shown him. She had treated him like her own son, and Arthur had never thought to question his mother was truly his mother. Despite him being Pristinely Ungifted and his mother being a First Order witch, Arthur had just put that down to his gift being so rare that there were no rules about whether or not his parents should possess magic.

His head hurt as he was torn between deep betrayal by his mother and a numb aching grief at losing the only person who had been a constant, comforting presence in his life.

Before he’d met Merlin, Arthur had a nagging worry that he’d never fit in if he ventured out into the greater world when he had to leave his mother. Fortunately there was something about Merlin that gave Arthur the confidence to face the future. That with Merlin by his side, he could survive the uncertainty of a life without his mother. Curiosity gripped him whenever he thought of Merlin, and Arthur had to satisfy it.

Now though, Arthur knelt beside his mother’s dead body. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to go on after losing his mother?

“Arthur?” said a voice Arthur hadn’t heard in a while.

Merlin had returned.

Arthur turned his head, looking up to see the wizard he hadn’t laid eyes upon in months.

Merlin sat down beside him, a sombre look in his blue eyes. “I am sorry for the loss of your mother,” he said quietly yet Arthur didn’t miss the uncertainty in his tone.

Merlin had never met Arthur’s mother after all, so he wasn’t completely sure of how she looked like.

“I don’t even know how it happened, or why… and everything’s gone white,” Arthur said, then he finally gave a proper look at his surroundings.

The peculiar whiteness that had overcome the land had gone. Everything was its usual colour.

Merlin nodded. “Yes, I saw the white. It went away a few moments ago. Arthur, I think someone is looking for you…but we need to find the key Mystra told you about. I can help you with that. But we can’t let this person find you, not yet.”

“My mother made a confession,” Arthur told him, still unable to quite grasp his mother’s words before she died. “I don’t think she’s my real mother. I think she took me without permission…”

“She was telling the truth. I’m sorry. I would have told you once we got to know each other better. I don’t feel like I’m the right person to tell you this.”

“What is it? Who’s my real mother?” Arthur demanded to know. “My mother told me that I helped to cure her affliction. I should have realized then that it could have meant she had been desperate enough to… to…” Arthur stopped.

He found it hard to say the words out loud. To say that the woman he had seen as his mother for all his life was truly his kidnapper. She had stolen him so she could be rid of her premature aging affliction. True, it was a terrible fate and he couldn’t fault her for taking advantage of her only hope of a longer life…but kidnapping was still wrong. Arthur had lost the chance to be raised by the woman who’d given birth to him because of it.

“You are the son of Queen Ygraine of Camelot,” Merlin informed him.

Arthur stared at him. “My real mother is a Queen?”

Merlin nodded. “You’re still the sole heir to Camelot’s throne too. The Queen misses you very much. She loves you dearly, I don’t doubt it. And you will be able to see her again when the time is right.”

“We need to cure the land. Get the key,” Arthur finished, understanding.

“Unless you really want to go see the Queen first. It’s your right to see her, reunite with her. I won’t stop you.”

“I do want to see her. So much,” Arthur admitted. “But healing the land, ending the afflictions…it’s more important. It’d be nice to see my true mother after I’ve accomplished this. She’ll be proud of me…even if she doesn’t really know me, but…”

“I’m sure she’ll be proud just seeing you alive and well before her eyes. Yet the sooner we fix this land, the better. And many people will be grateful to you.”

“I hope this will work,” Arthur said.

He went to collect his pack. Arthur heard the sound of a person approaching from the forest.

“Get all you need for our journey,” Merlin urged him. “I’m under glamour now, which you can’t see. You’ll just have to believe me. The First Knight of Camelot is looking for you, but I know how to send him away. Then I’ll meet you.”

“What about my mother’s body?”

“She has a son, a natural-born son, Mordred…he’ll take care of her in the way a First Order member is traditionally dealt with after death.”

Arthur felt annoyed. Finding out his mother was his kidnapper wasn’t enough; he had to learn she had a son of her own blood too.

“Goodbye, Mother,” Arthur said.

He knelt down and kissed her on the brow. He couldn’t let bitterness overwhelm him. Regret at not saying his goodbyes to the woman he had long seen as his mother would be far worse. And he couldn’t think ill of the dead. That was wrong.

“Thank you for caring for me and for loving me. I…forgive you,” he said softly, finding those last words hard to form.

Then he left her and Merlin, returning home just as the knight appeared, emerging from the forest.

Merlin intercepted him. Arthur had gone inside his cottage before Merlin started speaking with the knight.

Instead, Arthur went to his bed and lay down on it, feeling terribly lost and hoping Merlin would be enough of an anchor to pull him through this confusing time.

A small, evil thought wormed its way into his mind. Had he been living a lie all these years then? He had been raised by his kidnapper…how could he even begin to make peace with that?

Maybe he hadn’t truly forgiven his mother after all.

~ * ~

“Hey,” Merlin said. “Not feeling well?”

“After all I’ve just learned? How am I supposed to accept the truth? That my mother kidnapped me?”

“I know it’s a lot to take, but she must have truly cared for if she kept you for eighteen years. She didn’t keep you a prisoner. There are far worse people than your mother in the world.”

Arthur sighed, sitting up in bed. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. And I guess this necklace won’t work any longer since she’s gone.”

Yet he didn’t have the heart to take off the hazel tree pendant necklace. Because that would mean his mother had truly passed away. Maybe now it would remain as a final physical memory of his mother. He had a feeling he’d regret it if he threw away the necklace no matter how conflicted his perception of his mother was now.

“What sort of necklace is it?”

“It’s a magical one. My mother used it to heal me magically when I was sick or hurt. I think it only worked with her.”

“Even if you’re Pristinely Ungifted, it still worked?” Merlin said.

“Yes,” Arthur acknowledged.

“Can I see it?” Merlin asked. “You don’t have to take it off…just…” he trailed off, kneeling in front of Arthur.

Arthur obliged him, lifting the hazel tree pendant from underneath his tunic. “The power is centered in the pendant.”

Merlin touched the pendant, looking it over thoughtfully. “Very powerful. It’s meant for one person to use it. And for this pendant, that was reserved only to your mother while she was alive as you know. Your condition can’t allow for more no matter what.”

He let go off the pendant, giving Arthur a small smile. With Merlin so close to him now, Arthur was taken in by how blue Merlin’s eyes were.

“Can another one be made? A pendant that will give you the ability to heal me by magic means?” Arthur wondered.

Merlin frowned, standing up. “It’ll take too much time to make one, and you wouldn’t want me being able to use magic on you.”

Arthur looked at him in disbelief. “I don’t see you as the sort to abuse the power.”

“I don’t even trust myself. It’s better this way,” Merlin said firmly.

“Okay. I don’t agree with you, but I’ll let that go for now. Where can we find the key I need?” Arthur wondered. “I know the keeper is an innocent soul.”

“That undoubtedly means a child. I’m certain the key will be in Ealdor.”

“Ealdor? Is that a village?”

“It’s the village where I was born,” Merlin told him quietly, an undertone of unhappiness in his voice. Arthur was left with the conclusion that Merlin’s old home village wasn’t a place full of fond memories for the wizard.

Another mystery about him. Arthur recalled the letter he’d read in which Merlin’s mother had to let Merlin go, to be put into Mystra’s care. That gave the impression that Ealdor was far from a safe home for Merlin. But why? What had happened?

“I can’t tell who exactly the child is, but he or she will come to you so they could fulfill their destiny,” Merlin assured him. “I haven’t been back to Ealdor in a while, but I remember most of the villagers kept to a tradition of wearing keys on chains about their necks. And there was a belief that one day, one villager would possess the magical key that the Pristinely Ungifted one – you – would need to cure the land.”

“Did you wear a key too?”

Merlin shook his head. “My mother and father weren’t natives of the village. They came when my mother was pregnant with me. They hoped Ealdor would be a quiet village they could settle down in. That didn’t last…but no, we didn’t wear keys. My younger sister, Freya, didn’t either.”

“You’re not going to tell me what went wrong?”

“No… it’s not something I like talking about. You have enough to deal with now. I don’t want to burden you further.”

And that was that. The rest of the morning was spent eating and then getting ready for the journey to Ealdor. Arthur didn’t speak much with Merlin during this time. He thought it was best as it looked like Merlin was in the grips of a dark mood. What if going to Ealdor and getting the key was a bad idea? Arthur hated the thought that Merlin would have to revisit an unpleasant past by helping him.

But Merlin seemed determined to go with Arthur, even despite him offering to Merlin to not go if it would be a problem for him.

Merlin had waved him away and said he would be fine.

“Two people traveling together is much safer than one.” Merlin noted logically.

Arthur couldn’t argue with that.

~ * ~

Staring deep into the great fire Merlin had conjured let Arthur’s mind wander. He stopped dwelling on his mother and just focused on the journey, and getting the chance to be with Merlin.

He reached out his hand to touch the flames, just for a moment, so he could feel that sensation of heat before pulling back his hand.

Except the moment his fingers touched the fire, the fire went out completely. It seemed that since the fire was magically conjured, Arthur’s gift put out the fire to neutralise the magic.

Merlin gave him a sharp look.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to put it out. I can build a new fire if you want.”

“It’s fine,” Merlin said wearily. “Unless you’re planning to make a habit of touching the fire…”

“No. No of course not,” Arthur said quickly.

“Well then.” Merlin’s eyes glowed golden as he called up another fire to blaze and flicker in the dark night.

“Merlin?” Arthur said then, curious. “Do you have an affliction?”

“Regrettably I do,” Merlin answered him sullenly.

“Is it memory loss? I remember you had trouble remembering me five months ago…that day you told me you were leaving.”

“I don’t like talking about this,” Merlin said stubbornly.

“Sorry…never mind. I promise I’ll keep it to myself. I won’t leave you just because you have memory loss. You’re not the only one who has an affliction. I’m sure other people have memory loss too.”

“And I look forward to meeting them. We could form a group,” Merlin suggested darkly.

“Sorry I brought it up. I’ll just go to sleep now,” Arthur declared.

He stood up to head over to where he had laid his blanket.

“No. Wait. I should tell you. In case something happens, you should know the details of my memory loss. It wouldn’t be good to keep you in the dark about it.”

Arthur sat back down beside Merlin and looked at him expectantly.

“I’ve had my affliction for the past six months now. When I first met you,” Merlin paused then, biting his lip. He got out his journal, the same one that read ‘Memories’ which Arthur had seen at Merlin’s cottage before. “I’d had it for a month then.” He said after perusing the journal by glow of firelight.

“Okay. So what’s the nature of your memory loss? It doesn’t seem too terrible.”

“If I read my journal every morning after the sun rises, then I can cope. You haven’t seen me before I read it, before I try to re-orient myself.”

Arthur wasn’t sure if he wanted to see that side of Merlin, or if maybe it would be a good thing. To get a fuller, more accurate picture of the wizard.

“Could your memory loss be why you were so bothered by me when I met you?”

Merlin gave him a look. “No, I think it was more that you came in when I wasn’t expecting anyone I didn’t know to find my home and get inside it. Just my luck that I decided to leave nearby someone who is Pristinely Ungifted.”

Arthur cringed. “Sorry again about that.”

Merlin waved his hand. “It was an accident. I know you mean no harm.”

He continued on, “The good thing is that I remember the first twenty years of my life. I still have those memories. The last day I remember was my twentieth birthday. I was afflicted two days after. The first day I forgot was the one following my twentieth birthday celebration. Once the sun rises the next day, the memories are gone. I have to write in this journal each day before I go to sleep as a record of memories. I read the journal when I wake up so I don’t miss any important details from the previous day. The trouble is…”

“Reading the journal doesn’t bring back the memories into your mind?” Arthur guessed, imagining how frustrating that could be.

It wasn’t like Merlin could recall the memories just by reading the journal…the memories were gone and words on a page simply paled in comparison to the richness of a memory.

Merlin nodded. “Yes, that’s the problem. The last six months of my life…I only know what I did by reading through my journal, which I did before I came to see you. Mystra told me about the key and why it was important I return to see you.”

“How do you know to check the journal everyday if you forget?”

“Fortunately Mystra gave me the journal some months before I was afflicted. She recommended I use it as a record of what I do every day. I remember I have it, and I’ve become accustomed looking it over every morning.”

“It’s useful to have me then with you. I can tell you what you need to know… in case the journal isn’t enough.”

“Thank you. I prefer to trust the journal than be dependent on another person, but I appreciate the offer.”

“Well it’s still open no matter what.”

Merlin gave him a small, grateful smile.

After Merlin wrote in his journal for about an hour, Arthur helping him out with any details, they went to bed.

~ * ~

Sombrely, Mordred watched as his mother’s funeral pyre floated out into the lake, the hungry fire the only true light in the darkness.

He wasn’t sure how to feel. He’d barely known her, had only seen her once during that brief meeting months ago. And then to discover she had raised another boy, not her own and even worse whom she had kidnapped, was a sharp blow for Mordred.

But he couldn’t be angry with the other person, who happened to be the Arthur Merlin was so intent on. Mordred didn’t doubt that if Arthur had known that his mother already had a son who she chose to give away, then he would have been on Mordred’s side. Especially once he’d learned that he’d been kidnapped by her.

There was no bigger lesson in learning that one’s elders were prone to making mistakes than Mordred seeing what his own mother had done. How desperation and a desire for a fuller life had driven Morgana Le Fay to take a child from his rightful mother. And that Mordred hadn’t fit into her plans as she raised Arthur.

Mordred conceded that maybe his mother leaving him in the care of Mystra and the ladies in her employ was the best choice in the end. Otherwise, he would not have met Merlin and found a true friend in him.

Suddenly, Mordred was startled out of his reverie upon seeing his mother before him in spirit form. She was wearing a dress though her skin was so pale, so unnaturally white, that he didn’t doubt that she was a ghost. He saw through her body to the peaceful lake behind her.

“Why are you here?” Mordred asked.

“You are my son, and my heir, Mordred. I wish to give you the family ring as is tradition.”

“I know about that, but you’re dead…and I was never a son to you, as I should have been.”

His mother looked sad. “I know. That is my fault. Not a day went by that I didn’t feel the guilt of not raising you. But you still came out of my womb. The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. I am proud of you and I trust you to carry on the family bloodline, and the honour of our family. Please, my child, take the ring.”

She held out her hand. Mordred saw the ring with the hazel tree, the family emblem, engraved into the stone.

Mordred knelt down and solemnly offered his hand so that his mother could slip the ring on to his finger.

“The hazel tree is a symbol of wisdom, inspiration and healing. One day soon, Mordred, your gift of seeing the world differently from others will heal the land.”

Mordred wanted to roll his eyes. That wasn’t his gift, but his affliction. He didn’t see how his affliction could possibly be helpful to anyone much less the land. But he didn’t dare tell his mother this as the present occasion was not the appropriate time to express disbelief.

“Thank you, Mother,” he said, realizing this was the first time he called her Mother. Hopefully this would help his mother gain peace in her afterlife, that he finally acknowledged her as his mother. He could see her teary-eyed smile as he used that word. “I would like nothing better than to aid in healing the land.”

“Watch for your friend, Merlin,” his mother advised him. “He will need you and you must help him.”

“Of course. I will always help him if he needs it.” Mordred told her easily as he stood up.

His mother smiled. “Thank you, my dear. I hate to leave you, but I must. I wish you well.”

“Goodbye, Mother,” he said softly, watching his mother fade away into the night.

Mordred walked away from the lake, feeling sadness at his mother’s passing finally creep inside of him.

He nearly jumped, startled again, when he heard a familiar voice speak.

“Hullo, Mordred,” said Pip.

The Faery prince was flying in front of him.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep right now in Sir Lancelot’s chambers at Camelot? Not to mention the danger traveling alone with the gremlin problem.”

“Well I’m with you now,” said Pip as if that was satisfactory enough. “I think I’ll be safe. I have the morning off tomorrow. Thought I’d stay with you? Merlin isn’t with you anymore?”

Mordred shook his head. He offered his hand, so that Pip could rest on it instead of tiring out his wings by sustaining flight as he talked. “No. He’s on a quest now.”

“I’m sure he is,” said Pip, standing on Mordred’s hand. “I saw him when I was with Sir Lancelot. Merlin was under glamour, pretending to be a physician with a salve for Sir Lancelot’s hand condition. I was concealed so he didn’t see me. I didn’t reveal the truth about Merlin because I knew he was trustworthy. Merlin’s like a brother to you, isn’t he? And the salve worked very well too, so I don’t think Sir Lancelot would have cared if Merlin had masked his identity. The Court Physician Taliesin is a bit envious, now, I believe because the salve was like a miracle. He was investigating the salve for most of the day…” Pip stopped, looking a bit sheepish at talking so much.

Mordred knew that the night – maybe the ease of gremlins sneaking up on you – made Pip skittish and as a result, he talked a lot and sometimes a little too fast.

“Well thank you for keeping quiet about him. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry about your mother, Mordred,” Pip said sincerely.

“Thanks. You can stay with me until tomorrow afternoon. I’d rather not be alone,” Mordred decided.

Pip yawned, and then grinned sleepily at him. “I’m glad you agree.”

The Faery fell asleep soon after and Mordred put a small, Faery-sized blanket over him before he magically transported them both away back to his home.

~ * ~

As dawn approached, Arthur was woken up by the sound of cruel laughter. He saw little blue winged creatures that he was sure were gremlins from the texts he had studied.

“Hey,” Arthur spoke up when he saw the trio of gremlins flying about Merlin’s head.

The gremlins turned to him, in surprise, clearly not anticipating Arthur to interrupt their trouble-making.

Arthur reached out for his sword and pointed it at them.

“Leave him alone,” he said in as commanding voice as he could muster.

The gremlins giggled amongst themselves. “It’s the strange one. Time to go!” They declared.

Then the three gremlins disappeared all too easily making Arthur suspicious. Had he woken up too late after the damage had been made? Had the gremlins done something to Merlin?

After returning his sword into its sheath, Arthur went to Merlin and nudged his shoulder to wake him up. Merlin must be a deep sleeper if he hadn’t woken up with the gremlins laughing so close to him.

Yet even after touching Merlin, Arthur was unsuccessful in waking the wizard.

“Merlin? Wake up. There were gremlins…” Arthur said, hoping to rouse him.

No luck.

Then he noticed a small vial that was half-empty beside Merlin. He hadn’t seen Merlin take anything before going to sleep hours ago. He must have done so later on, waking up while Arthur had still been sleeping.

Catching a whiff of the liquid in the vial, Arthur was certain it was a sleeping potion from the scent of poppy.

“Seriously, Merlin,” he muttered to himself. Why was Merlin taking a sleeping potion?

Maybe he had difficulty sleeping, knowing with the sun rise, his memory of the day would disappear. The potion could be Merlin’s only way of getting a decent slumber, Arthur decided. And he had hid it from Arthur by taking it while Arthur had been asleep.

Then he noticed that there was a ring now on Merlin’s right hand. It had Merlin’s family emblem on it – a dragon breathing out a phoenix. When had he received that? Arthur hadn’t seen it earlier.

The sun was about to rise, and Arthur tried to get Merlin to wake up again.

“Merlin, please. Wake up,” Arthur asked him.

Of course, just his luck, the sun was high in the sky when Merlin finally woke up. His memories of the last six months were gone.

Merlin looked at Arthur blankly, not recognizing Arthur due to the memory loss.

“I’m Arthur… you should read your journal,” Arthur advised him.

Merlin glared at him, irritated. “I always check my journal. Who do you think you are?” He shot back at him.

Arthur remained quiet. Merlin’s condition wasn’t an easy one and he wasn’t about to rile up a wizard of the First Order no matter if Merlin’s magic couldn’t hurt him.

Arthur watched as Merlin made his journal magically appear. Then he saw the confusion on Merlin’s face as he turned the pages.

“What the hell. Have you done something to my journal? Every page is blank. And how did I end up here when last I remember it was my twentieth birthday. I was nowhere near here, wherever here is. I don’t recall ever having seen you.”

Arthur was growing very concerned. That wasn’t right. How was his journal blank? Had the gremlins done something? Managed to gain access to Merlin’s journal?

He’d been too late to thwart the gremlins’ mischief and now Merlin was paying the price for it. Arthur felt guilt overcome him.

“You have an affliction, Merlin. You’ve forgotten the past six months of your life, including me. Every sun rise, you forget the previous day which is in addition to the other days you’ve forgotten. The journal was a written record for you, to inform of what you had experienced.”

“But the bloody memories won’t return into my mind, is that it? It’s like reading a story of someone else’s life,” Merlin said bitterly. He peered at Arthur. “You’re Arthur? And for some reason I’m traveling with you.”

Arthur nodded. “To get this special key from a child most likely. So I could heal the land and put an end to the afflictions. You’ll be cured.”

Merlin continued to look at him carefully. “Something else…” he said to himself. “You’re Pristinely Ungifted! Oh no, no, no… you’re the lost prince of Camelot, aren’t you? I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Merlin stood up and began backing away from him.

“What? Why are you acting like this?” Arthur asked in shock. He stood up as well, raising his hands to show he meant no harm. “You knew I had that gift before and that didn’t bother you then.”

“Well clearly I had temporarily lost my mind then! The blood of a Pristinely Ungifted one is poison to a wizard of the First Order. You stay away from me. I don’t care what you need to do. The last thing I want to do is consort with someone who could kill me,” Merlin shouted at him.

His hand was out as if he was about to perform magic against Arthur, but then he appeared to realise it would have no effect. He put his hand down.

“Merlin, please. I don’t want to kill you. I’ll do anything. I’ll be as careful as possible not to get my blood anywhere near you. Please. Just give me a chance. I only want us to be friends. Please,” Arthur pleaded with him earnestly.

Merlin shook his head. “No. I refuse. You won’t convince me.”

Desperate, Arthur took out his stuffed toy, Falcon, and showed it to Merlin. “This was given to me by my real mother the day I was born. It’s a Merlin falcon. Maybe this was a sign that one day I would meet you, Merlin. That we are destined to be together, to be a team, to be friends…maybe even something more. Please, I need you with me. I’m just asking for you to give me a chance.”

Merlin looked at Arthur then looked at Falcon. “Give me the bird,” he ordered Arthur.

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “What? So you could destroy it? You’re not acting like yourself...I don’t know if I can completely trust you now. At least with Falcon. I’ve had him all my life.”

“I won’t destroy him. I promise,” Merlin assured him.

And there was a sincere look in Merlin’s blue eyes that left Arthur believing in Merlin’s words. And anyway, Merlin couldn’t magically manipulate Arthur into trusting his word. So maybe this wouldn’t end in disaster.

Arthur handed Falcon over to him. Merlin took the bird, only holding it with one hand and giving it a little squeeze. He made no move to set Falcon on fire to Arthur’s relief.

Merlin studied the bird with interest. “Beautifully made,” he remarked pleasantly, a change of tone that threw Arthur off. Would Merlin be more willing to accept him now?

“Thanks,” Arthur said.

Merlin held a question in his eyes as he looked at Arthur. “Tell me where we need to find this key and I’ll give you Falcon back.”

Arthur swore to himself. Based on his past impression, Ealdor was one of the last places Merlin would ever want to go to, or return to as the case may be. It had been with great luck that Merlin had agreed to accompany Arthur to his old home village.

But now with the journal blank and Merlin’s behavior being rather erratic, Arthur didn’t think saying the location was Ealdor would be very persuasive in getting Merlin to go with him.

“Judging by how your face has fallen, I imagine the place to be a happy one,” Merlin remarked, the sarcasm thick in his words.

“It’s Ealdor,” Arthur told him. “I’m sorry. If I had to choose, it wouldn’t be there, but it is. I know you had a troubled past there…”

Merlin looked at him in disbelief. “Oh do you? You know that my father had a nasty affliction that made him paranoid, causing him to magically attack and kill most of the people of Ealdor? That some had managed to flee, but I’m sure they’ve returned by now and are waiting to make me pay. Simply because I’m his son. Like father like son, they say. That’s why I desperately prayed for an affliction that wasn’t like his.”

Then Merlin started breathing hard, his hands on his knees. He was hyperventilating.

“Merlin, please. Calm down,” Arthur spoke to him softly, rubbing his shoulders. He took Falcon back, the bird loosened in Merlin’s grip.

Arthur was relieved when Merlin seemed to come back to himself, calming down. Merlin turned to Arthur then. He stared at him like he was seeing a new person entirely.

“I – I didn’t know the details. I’m so sorry,” said Arthur apologetically.

Merlin gave a small shrug. “That was over ten years ago. I’m fine,” he said. Then he placed his hand over Arthur’s cheek. “I need…to feel you,” Merlin whispered to him.

“Wait. Merlin. You’re confusing me…what…” Arthur stopped when Merlin pressed his lips to his.

Arthur fell back on to the ground, though he still clung to Falcon in his hand. Merlin was on top of him, and he let Merlin’s tongue gain entrance inside his mouth.

Arthur had never kissed a man before, or anyone else in the way of lovers, so he wasn’t sure how to do this.

Despite the inexperience, he gathered up his courage and he deepened the kiss, feeling the sweetness of Merlin’s mouth. Soon Arthur felt Merlin’s fingers unlacing his breeches. His breath hitched at the physical contact of Merlin’s hand touching his cock.

He never thought his blood could travel so fast down to his cock, and he was feeling lightheaded as a result.

“Gods, Merlin… please,” he uttered when Merlin pulled away, letting him breathe. “I don’t…I’ve never done this before.”

“Don’t worry,” Merlin gave him an encouraging smile. It made Arthur wonder what the hell was going on Merlin’s quick shifts in behavior. Was this some sort of strange side effect of his affliction? That now that he didn’t have his journal to depend on, he was acting oddly?

“I’ve done this before. I have a daughter after all,” Merlin told him.

Arthur stared at him in surprise. He pushed Merlin away from him, forcing him to remove his hand from his length. While Arthur quickly missed the feel of Merlin’s deft fingers on him, he had to do it.

He couldn’t let this revelation go. “I didn’t know you had a child. Is she living with her mother then?”

Merlin frowned, looking puzzled why Arthur wanted to discuss this when they were in the middle of something more pleasurable. Well he would just have to cope with it, Arthur thought grimly. “No. Forridel passed away not long after she gave birth to our daughter. She’s in the care of a friend I trust in Mystra’s protected lands. I visit her, of course, when I can. She means everything to me,” Merlin said with a small tender smile as he spoke of his daughter.

Then he gave Arthur a pointed look. “Now can we go back to what we were doing? There’s so much I can show you,” Merlin promised him with a quick grin.

Arthur was tempted to let Merlin win but then he realized that this made everything worse. If Merlin would agree to go with Arthur to Ealdor, a place where Merlin could be facing execution, then Merlin’s daughter would be without a father. She’d be an orphan. Now Arthur understood why Merlin was against going to Ealdor. He couldn’t believe Merlin had even agreed to head to Ealdor before the gremlin mess. Maybe before, Merlin had thought helping Arthur heal the land was worth the risk, even entering a village that would mean a likely death for him.

And now without the journal to remind him of what he should know, Merlin’s opinion had changed. Quite possibly Mystra had persuaded Merlin to head to Ealdor with Arthur. He must have written it in his journal. Yet now, all those words of persuasion were gone. All that was left was Merlin’s knowledge that he had a daughter who depended on him while Arthur was a stranger asking Merlin to risk his life and potentially leave his child an orphan.

Arthur swallowed, rubbing his brow. He laced his breeches back up. “I can’t… your daughter, Merlin. What is her name?” He asked him.

“Arthur…I love my daughter, but I don’t understand why you want to talk about her. It’s too early for this,” Merlin said, slightly irritated.

Arthur sighed. “I just want to know her name.”

“Lily Rose, okay? That’s her name. Lily was after Forridel’s mother and Rose was after my…my… ” Merlin stopped.

“Merlin?” Arthur prompted quietly.

Merlin pressed his fingers to his brow. “My little sister Freya… she died when I was ten. She was only five…and her second name was Rose. That’s where Rose came from. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Merlin said.

“You’re right, Merlin. You shouldn’t go with me to Ealdor,” Arthur decided. “I don’t want you to risk death when you have Lily to think of. I wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye, tell her why you died. I don’t want her to live without her father. My mother died only yesterday, and the ache of the loss hurts. Even if she wasn’t my real mother…eighteen years of her caring for me and loving me, that still means something to me.”

Even as Arthur spoke of his mother, he felt he was the wrong person to address this subject considering the complicated feelings he had toward his mother. The weight of eighteen years of her raising him and loving him did feel stronger than the moment of revelation that she was his kidnapper. To balance those two conflicting perceptions of his deceased mother gave Arthur a rotten headache.

“Your daughter’s still so young,” Arthur pressed on earnestly. “If you die now, it’ll be harder for her to remember you, to remember how much you love her.”

Merlin stayed silent, a thoughtful expression on his face. Then he spoke, “I’m glad you understand the risk more clearly now. But you said we need to get the key from Ealdor. That this object will heal the land, cure everyone with afflictions. I need to help you, don’t I?”

Arthur nodded. “A moment ago, you seemed against the idea. What changed your mind?”

“I don’t think Lily would be happy with me if I didn’t offer my help to a good cause. She hasn’t gained an affliction yet, and if helping you get the key will spare my daughter from dealing with an affliction, then I will do it.”

“It’s your decision in the end,” he said, deciding it was Merlin’s choice and it wasn’t worth arguing with him. After all, Arthur wanted Merlin come with him. “So how do we get to Ealdor?” Arthur asked Merlin, intent on gaining that key as fast as possible. Preferably without a threat to Merlin’s life.

“That’s not hard. The difficult part is surviving the Winter Barrier protecting the entrance to the village. It’s a challenge making it through the barrier without freezing to death. Magic loses most of its strength while you’re in the Winter Barrier. I tried it once when I was young, but I couldn’t last. My mum had to pull me out before I lost my fingers to the cold.”

The dreaded barrier only took them an hour to get to, which left Arthur grateful.

Yet what bewildered him was that he didn’t see any signs of winter in this Winter Barrier.

“Merlin, are you sure this is the barrier?” Arthur asked, looking at the expansive clearing of grass and a few trees dotted here and there on either side.

Merlin looked unhappy and a touch, envious? Did Arthur see that right?

“It is. But you’re Pristinely Ungifted, and this barrier is wholly magic-made. Your condition won’t allow you to see the magic-caused winter. Perhaps, even, you won’t feel the chill of the cold.”

Arthur frowned. He stepped inside the barrier and confirmed Merlin’s suspicion. He didn’t feel the winter cold. It only felt like the cool autumn day it should be.

“I’m okay, but if your magic is weaker in the barrier, then maybe you shouldn’t come,” Arthur told him, feeling unhappy.

“I’ll be fine. I knew about the barrier when I agreed to help you. I still want to help,” Merlin said in a stubborn tone.

With that, Merlin headed right into the barrier and walked past Arthur. Almost immediately, Arthur saw Merlin shivering from the cold Arthur didn’t feel. He saw Merlin glow briefly, like he was trying to warm himself magically. Then he heard Merlin swear when it appeared the warming spell wasn’t strong as it could have been outside the barrier.

“I have a blanket,” Arthur offered as he caught up to Merlin.

Merlin was only wearing blue robes that looked more appropriate for springtime weather. At least the robes had a hood to cover his head if necessary.

Merlin glanced at him. He grudgingly took the blanket and wrapped it around himself.

“I suppose for now the non-magic way is the best option,” Arthur remarked. “You don’t want to lose energy using your magic when it won’t be working at full strength here.”

“Thank you,” Merlin said all too politely, giving Arthur an odd look.

Arthur nodded. “I should tell you…not that it’ll be much help now, but there were three gremlins last night. I think they might have removed the contents of your journal. I woke up too late to stop them. You’d taken a sleeping potion that kept you from being roused awake by their raucous.”

Merlin didn’t look as angry as Arthur expected him to be. Instead, he just looked defeated and tired.

“Of course. Gremlins will take any measure to exact mischief. Even if you’d woken up earlier, they would have done anything to accomplish their trouble-making,” Merlin told him, glaring off into the distance.

“But maybe you can make up for it now. You should be able to continue using your journal. You can write down what you did today at least. And then since magic won’t affect me, I can keep your journal in my possession and then the gremlins…”

“…won’t be able to use magic to tamper with the journal.” Merlin finished. “That would be good.”

They ended up having to stay the night in the Winter Barrier. After dinner, Arthur could see how hard the cold weather was on Merlin. His magic wasn’t helping and a thick blanket could only do so much.

“I can write in your journal for you,” Arthur suggested as he watched Merlin rub his hands together to keep them warm. Arthur saw a small glow appear inside his hands as Merlin still persisted in using a bit of warming magic.

“Okay. I appreciate that,” Merlin said.

He gave Arthur his journal and a quill with ink.

“I have some mittens. You can have them,” Arthur said, pulling a pair of dark red mittens with a little falcon in the center of each. His mother had knitted them for him.

Merlin took the offered mittens and put his hands inside the mittens. “You prepared for all weather, didn’t you?” Merlin remarked, flashing him an ‘I can’t believe you’re real’ grin.

Arthur shrugged. “I tried my best.”

Merlin laid down then, still wrapped snuggly in his blanket and his hood covering his head. And now with mittens covering his hands, he wouldn’t lose any fingers Arthur hoped.

For the next hour or two, they talked about what to write in the journal. Merlin seemed to be coping well enough with the cold. He answered Arthur readily and gave solid input about he wanted in his journal. Arthur made sure to include all that Merlin wanted.

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked after they were finished.

“I think I may die here. You should write a eulogy for me,” Merlin muttered darkly.

“Don’t be like that,” Arthur told him. “Maybe a fire will help?”

“A magic-based fire probably won’t give off much heat here,” Merlin countered.

“I can build one instead of a magical fire. So you can focus more on keeping warm,” Arthur decided. “There are some branches littered around here. I can manage.”

“Hopefully this’ll work,” Merlin said, though he sounded far from hopeful.

Arthur gave him a concerned look. Then he took out another blanket from his pack.

“Here…one more blanket should help.”

Arthur covered Merlin with the other blanket until he could barely see the wizard. He could only spot the top of his hooded head.

Then Arthur gave him Falcon. “Falcon can keep you company,” he said as Merlin accepted the stuffed bird with a gloved hand and snuck it back under the blankets.

“Thank you. I’ll look after him for you,” Merlin promised him.

“I know you will,” Arthur said, looking and feeling confident of his words. Maybe he pitied Merlin a bit now because he was suffering, but he did trust that Falcon, his most treasured possession, would be safe with Merlin.

Arthur collected branches and twigs as quickly as he could to start a fire close to Merlin, so he would benefit from the warmth.

The fire was made, and Arthur sat beside Merlin huddling as close as he could to him. He hoped that some of his body heat would seep into Merlin.

“I’m taking all the blankets,” Merlin indicated, but shortly after he sneezed. His nose was as red as strawberry. “You should have one. Even if you’re not affected by this bitter cold.”

“It’s more important you don’t get ill. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m the older one here. I make the final decision,” Merlin argued. Without allowing Arthur to protest, he removed one of his blankets and put it firmly in Arthur’s lap.

“Use it, please,” Merlin ordered him.

“Okay, okay. If you insist,” Arthur gave in. Better to appease Merlin or he’d get sicker. The last thing Arthur wanted was to make Merlin more miserable than he already was.

“Tomorrow…we’ll make it to Ealdor. We won’t spend…another night… here,” Merlin said, stuttering.

“I almost think we should just go through the night. The less time you spend here, the better, but we need to get some rest. You look exhausted.”

“Yeah,” Merlin admitted quietly.

He dropped his head on to Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur was left watching the dancing flames of the fire as Merlin fell into a restless sleep.

The final part

AU Merlin fic: The Powerless Prince

dk323 — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 03:37:27 GMT

Title: The Powerless Prince
Author: dk323
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Ygraine, Morgana, Mordred, Lancelot
Word Count: 26K (total)
Content/Warnings: Character death
Summary: Not long after being born, Prince Arthur Pendragon is kidnapped. When he’s older, Arthur learns he’s destined to save his poisoned land with the help of a First Order wizard named Merlin. During their time together, Arthur soon discovers that not possessing magic like his mother makes him far from powerless.
Author's Notes: This fic was written for fluffyllama as a part of the merlin_holidays fic exchange.

Prompts/kinks/tropes fulfilled: amnesia, two against the world, journey, characters dropped into dangerous situations, nightmare, huddling for warmth, winter, insanity
Much thanks to my beta red_cortina for looking over this fic and catching the errors as well as helping me improve the story. I really appreciate it. :)
Happy Holidays, fluffyllama! I hope you enjoy this story.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. The show Legend of the Seeker is property of ABC studios (some ideas from the show are in the story, no knowledge of show needed). There are some elements inspired by Disney’s Tangled. I make no profit from this endeavor.

The Powerless Prince @ AO3: Here

~ * ~

PART ONE

~ * ~

And they say when confronted by a Pristinely Ungifted one, a wizard will fall to his knees, powerless.

~ * ~

“Arthur?” Merlin said, but Arthur had stopped breathing. “Arthur! No. You can’t die!”

“You can’t leave me so soon,” he whispered quietly, hugging Arthur’s body to him.

Silent tears fell down his face but Merlin didn’t have the energy to wipe them away.

Merlin barely knew Arthur yet it was still painful to watch any man die, bleeding out before him, and as a Wizard of the First Order he could do nothing.

~ * ~

Eighteen years earlier:

Queen Ygraine of Camelot thought the worst day of her life was the day she lost her sight completely. Her blindness was the price she had to endure from the magic-poisoned land. Then she reconsidered that assessment the day her son was born and she couldn’t even see him.

The Court Physician, Taliesin, told her that Arthur had golden hair and blue eyes just like her.

Ygraine was glad for it, as Arthur’s late father was a man she did not care to think about now. Uther had always been uneasy about her magical ability and her friendship with Nimueh.

“Your Majesty,” Taliesin spoke up. “I believe Arthur is unlike any other child in the land,” he told her.

“What do you mean? Has the magic of the land affected him already?” Ygraine asked him. As she leaned back against the pillows, Ygraine cradled Arthur close to her, kissing him softly on top of the head. “Mother loves you, my little one,” she whispered in a tone of deep affection.

She hoped Arthur would be older before the poisoned land forced an affliction on him. These afflictions were burdens both magic and non-magic folk couldn’t escape from.

“No, that’s not it. The opposite I believe. I’ve never seen this sort of condition before,” Taliesin admitted.

Suddenly Ygraine heard the telltale sound of Nimueh magically appearing in the room, followed by a thud and a sigh. Had that been Nimueh? She again wished she could see, but she felt she was getting better at strengthening her other senses. She didn’t doubt that it had been Nimueh collapsing.

“Taliesin?” Ygraine asked him. She heard the older man walk away from her.

“It’s not good, My Queen,” Taliesin informed her. “I believe Nimueh is dead. The poisoned land has claimed her life.”

“No. No. It can’t be true.” Ygraine uttered in disbelief.

The shock of her dear friend’s death had taken the breath out of her, the pain of such a loss making her heart ache. But as she felt the comforting weight of her son in her arms, she knew she had to stay strong and be there for him. He was her priority now.

When Arthur started to cry, Ygraine murmured soothing words to him. He quieted to her relief.

“She came with a message she couldn’t deliver,” Taliesin continued quietly.

Ygraine heard the sound of paper being unfolded.

“What does it say, Taliesin?” Ygraine asked him.

“It’s about Arthur. Nimueh said that Arthur is the Pristinely Ungifted one we’ve all been waiting for. She Saw this truth just before she composed this message. And well… the words are raised, Your Highness. I think you can read them by touch.”

Ygraine took the piece of parchment he placed in her hand. She felt the raised marks upon the parchment and sombrely read with her fingers.

“I can feel my final moments descend upon me. I will die soon, and nothing can be done. But do not mourn me, my dear friend and kindred spirit.

I will always love you, My Beloved Ygraine. Be happy that your golden son, your Arthur, will be safe from the nightmare of our poisoned land. A nightmare that I believe he will rescue us all from with your steady guidance.

Fare well, my love.

Nimueh”

Ygraine felt tears fall down her cheeks and she hugged Arthur closer to her.

“My Lady, I need to look Arthur over,” Taliesin told her not unkindly. “To understand his nature as a Pristinely Ungifted one better.”

“Tomorrow, Taliesin. That can wait, old friend.”

“Of course, Your Highness. I understand.”

Ygraine felt Arthur be an anchor for her, keeping her from falling apart under the sudden loss of Nimueh. While Nimueh had told her that she feared the poison of the land would kill her one day, Ygraine had refused to believe it. Refused to believe that her closest friend wouldn’t even live to see Arthur growing up.

But now she had to accept that Nimueh was gone, and she had to live for Arthur’s sake. That’s what Nimueh would have wanted.

~ * ~

That night:

Before Ygraine put her son to sleep, she gave him a stuffed Merlin falcon toy she conjured with her own magic. The feathers were a bright blue with glints of gold, and she was especially pleased that the feathers felt like real feathers, soft and light. Though she could not see the finished result of her work, by her touch alone she could imagine how the toy falcon looked in her mind’s eye. That was good enough for her.

After pressing a kiss on to his brow, Ygraine set Arthur gently down in the crib. She placed the special toy beside him. Barely a day old, her son wouldn’t recognize what it even was, but Ygraine felt a sense of rightness that the toy would be with him on the day of his birth.

“The falcon will protect you, my sweetheart. And in your dreams, you will soar like a bird, and nothing will trouble you because you will be safe and free. Rest well, Arthur.”

She reached out her hand to brush aside some of her son’s blond hair. Taliesin had described Arthur’s appearance to her in great detail and she had carefully touched her son’s face to solidify the picture of him inside her mind. It wasn’t perfect, but for now, she was satisfied. At least she had the peace of mind that due to Arthur’s unique condition, he would be spared the fate everyone else in the land dealt with whether they wanted to or not. Gaining an often frustrating affliction was a fact of life in this magic poisoned land.

Queen Ygraine sighed.

She left the nursery with a restless and grieving heart, thinking about the terrible loss of Nimueh. If her son was truly the prophesized Pristinely Ungifted one, then she dearly hoped he’d end the plague of afflictions before their magic poisoned land was destroyed by growing discontent and war.

~ * ~

Morgana knew it was wrong, but she was a member of the First Order. She was outside the bloody law, and if this was the way to get rid of her nasty affliction then she would do it. For seven years, since her sixteenth birthday, the magic poisoned land aged her beyond her years so that she was a wrinkled old witch that people avoided.

But then Mystra, the supreme power to the wizards and witches of the First Order, had given her a solution. At the time, the saving hope for Morgana seemed impossible. After all, it had been centuries since there was a person born Pristinely Ungifted.

Yet Mystra had told her to be vigilant. That though the exact identity of this unique individual was unknown in the prophecies, on the day of the person’s birth, Morgana would know.

And then she could act. Of course, before this auspicious day, she had made preparations for getting the child and setting up a place where they would live.

So that when Morgana came into Arthur’s room in the middle of the night, the first night of the child’s life, she was ready.

She was quiet, walking slowly due to her cursed old age. She approached the crib. In her hand, she held the special necklace with her family emblem of the hazel tree as a pendant.

Looking down into the crib, she saw him, barely a day old, and a white glow surrounding him if she focused her sight upon him. The white glow was outside proof that his blood was a powerful magic neutralizer. The child could never use magic or be affected by magic despite his mother, Queen Ygraine, being a sorceress – not one that was a part of the First Order – but still a magic user of respectable standing.

Knowing delay was not an option, Morgana reached into the crib to grab the child, cradling him into her arms. Regret came over her as she thought of her son she gave up almost a year ago.

About two years ago, she had found a spell to make her appear young for a day, and sought revenge on King Lot. He had treated her appallingly when he’d seen her as an old woman.

So in her bespelled younger form, she was intimate with him and vowed that the son the act would create would kill his kingly father one day. Mystra had offered to care for her son, and it was an offer Morgana couldn’t refuse. If Mystra wanted something, then her orders had to be followed. There were other children of First Order bloodlines in Mystra’s service, so her son wouldn’t be alone. That was a small comfort. Morgana hoped that under Mystra’s guidance, her son would thrive and grow powerful enough to kill King Lot.

Fortunately now, with Arthur in her care, she would finally have the chance to be a mother.

As she held him, the effects Mystra had said would happen did. Age fell away from her and she grew taller, her grey hair now returned to raven black and her skin smooth and unweathered. She was her true age of twenty-three, and she hoped that now she would age normally. She smiled, pleased.

She was about to place the hazel tree necklace around the baby’s neck when he began to cry in her arms.

“What is wrong?” Morgana whispered, feeling anxious because the baby’s cries could be heard and her scheme would fall apart.

She tried to hush him, singing a soft lullaby to him. She didn’t believe he was hungry or needed changing, no, it was something else.

“I wonder…” she mused.

She looked back into the crib and saw a stuffed Merlin falcon toy, likely magicked by Ygraine. What if that was it? Strange that a baby not even a day old would be attached to a toy already.

Morgana removed the toy from the crib and put it into the baby’s hands. She shot a quick glance at the door.

To her relief, Arthur quieted now that his favored toy was in his grasp. Morgana went to sit down in a nearby chair and she finally clasped the specially made necklace around the baby’s neck. The power was focused in the hazel tree pendant. She just had to make sure that Arthur wore the necklace at all times.

Thanks to the necklace, she could make a quick escape with the baby. Not even bothering to stand up, she magically transported them away from the nursery, the toy still clutched in the little Arthur’s arms.

~ * ~

“My son is gone.” Ygraine said quietly.

Early that morning, when she had discovered the crib empty, her son and his toy vanished, she had fainted.

The First Knight of Camelot, Sir Lancelot, had roused her. Now he was here with Taliesin in a small set of private chambers to discuss her son’s abduction. Thinking of it left a hole in her heart. First Nimueh had passed away suddenly and now her son had been taken. Ygraine hoped he was still alive. He just had to be. She could feel it.

“A member of the First Order must have taken him.” Taliesin voiced what Ygraine had already guessed.

“Those of the First Order believe themselves to be invincible, the most powerful beings in the land,” Sir Lancelot said with a nod.

“If that’s true, as I believe it is, then how are we to find my son? A First Order member – if they want something, they will get it and make sure no one will thwart them. Unless one favors death,” Queen Ygraine said in frustration.

“I will do what I can with the knights, Your Highness,” Sir Lancelot promised dutifully as always.

Ygraine felt bad for Lancelot due to his painful condition of the hands, his affliction caused by the poisoned land. It made wielding a sword hard on him. No matter how much he assured her he was fine, Ygraine could see through him. He had to wear leather gloves because when his hands were exposed, he had to seek Taliesin for a magic ointment. A chronic irritating affliction he may have, but Lancelot was her best knight despite that. No one matched him in his leadership ability and his steady command of the knights of Camelot.

“Thank you, Lancelot. I can only hope that since the toy was taken along with my son, then the culprit was not a heartless soul.”

“A good thought to have, My Lady. I can see if any friends of mine who are of the First Order have information about the young prince,” Taliesin suggested.

She gave each of them a small smile. Queen Ygraine was heartened by the support of her confidantes.

She would see her son again one day. To spare her heart breaking completely, Ygraine simply had to believe that.

~ * ~

Five years later:

“Mother, I don’t feel well,” said a five-year old Arthur.

Morgana beckoned him to her and she placed her hand over his brow. “Just a little fever, I can – wait, Arthur, where is your necklace?” she inquired of him when she realized the hazel tree pendant necklace was not on his neck.

Arthur bowed his head, looking sheepish. “I took it off…Falcon didn’t like it,” he told her. He didn’t meet her eyes and instead gazed at the floor.

Falcon was the name Arthur had chosen for the stuffed Merlin falcon toy because he thought it sounded impressive. It was a concern for her that sometimes Arthur treated the toy as an imaginary friend. Being so careful not to get caught, Morgana had kept Arthur sheltered and he didn’t have friends his own age as a result. So Morgana knew she could only blame herself, but if the wrong people got their hands on Arthur, he could be in terrible danger. The properties of his blood could lead some ruthless people to bleed him out completely and use his blood for protection against magic.

Then there was the ridiculous prophecy that he would solve the problem of the land being poisoned by magic, putting an end to the afflictions. That was hard to conceive for Morgana because the problem was a very big one and one person just couldn’t simply solve it. Not that she personally cared too much since her affliction had been lifted.

Soon after she had kidnapped him, she’d settled him in a cottage within the outskirts of a sleepy village and bordering an expansive forest. She had picked out the exact cottage months before Arthur was born. Morgana wouldn’t even let her fellow First Order friends know about what she was doing. Only Mystra knew, but then again she was a goddess and nothing got past her.

“My little one, you know that it’s important to wear the necklace. Otherwise I can’t heal you with my magic so you feel better.”

Arthur nodded. “Yes, Mother.”

He went off to retrieve the necklace.

And so with the necklace on, Morgana knelt down before him and healed him with her magic. “There you are. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Arthur said with a small smile.

Morgana returned the smile, and hugged him to her, ruffling his hair. “Now maybe you could convince Falcon to like the necklace.”

Arthur shrugged. “I don’t know. I think he’s angry with me.”

“Maybe a night’s rest will help him. Don’t lose hope, my love.”

Arthur nodded. “Okay, Mother.”

She kissed him on the head. “Go on then. Choose what you’d like me to read to you before bed,” Morgana suggested.

“I like it when you tell one of your stories…please, Mother?” He asked her earnestly. “One with Falcon?”

“Very well. I will do that.”

Arthur grinned at her. “I love you,” he said to her easily.

“I love you too,” Morgana replied with a fond smile.

~ * ~

Arthur was seventeen when his interest was piqued by the appearance of another cottage some feet away from his home. How odd that a dwelling could appear out of thin air like that. It must have been magically conjured. Maybe the resident of the neighbouring cottage was a magic user like his mother?

He sat in a chair beside the window that gave a direct view to this mystery cottage. Rubbing the hazel tree pendant on the chain he wore around his neck, Arthur thoughtfully considered the other dwelling and what sort of magic person lived there. Was the person a part of the First Order like his mother? Or another kind of wielder of magic?

“What do you think, Falcon? Man or woman?” Arthur asked out loud to his stuffed Merlin toy.

He knew he was too old to still keep a toy, but Falcon was different. There was something so comforting about him that Arthur couldn’t see himself getting rid of him any time soon.

Falcon just stared back at him from his place on the small round table in front of Arthur.

“You’re right. Must be a man.” Arthur said with a nod.

He rubbed his brow, sighing. He wished he could have a friend his age to talk to. Mother was protective of him, but at least these last few years, she allowed him to venture out into the forest alone. But Arthur never met anyone, only forest creatures. Though admittedly, it was nice to go for swim in the lake nestled pleasantly within the forest; practise with his sword (since he was determined to defend himself somehow if he couldn’t use magic) or less exciting, study books as a part of his educational studies.

Still his feeling of loneliness plagued him.

When his mother came home, Arthur brought up the intriguing appearance of the cottage.

His mother looked in the direction Arthur was pointing to. He saw her blink in confusion.

“I can’t see it, dear. There’s no cottage there.”

“But then why can I?” Arthur wondered.

His mother smiled lightly. “Well I suppose it’s because of your special gift. The house must be magically cloaked. You can see through that.”

“Of course,” Arthur said.

He knew about being ‘Pristinely Ungifted’, but he didn’t find it all that special or impressive. He couldn’t do magic like his mother because of this gift or more like curse. What good was it? So what if he could see something that was otherwise magically hidden?

How boring.

“I want to know who lives there,” Arthur told her, curiosity gripping him. “The person is a magic user like you if the cottage is magically concealed.”

Morgana frowned slightly. “Yes, you’re right. Yet this newcomer could be dangerous. It would be wise to keep away from that house.”

“But Mother…” Arthur protested. He was a bit excited about the prospect of heading into danger.

“Arthur. I’m doing this for your safety,” she said firmly.

“I’m seventeen!” Arthur raised his voice, almost yelling. He wouldn’t back down this time. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions about where I want to go.”

His mother was still holding her ground. “And I’m your guardian and your elder. I’m only trying to keep you alive. You should be grateful you have someone who loves you like I do.”

“Yes I know, Mother. I understand. But you said magic that’s not yours can’t affect me, didn’t you? Then I’ll be safe from whoever this magic user is. They can’t use magic against me,” Arthur reasoned.

“Very well, then,” his mother relented, to Arthur’s surprise. “Go. Since you can see it, you might as well satisfy your curiosity. Take your sword though.”

Arthur grinned, thanking her. He went to grab his sword and headed out of the cottage.

“Don’t rush, sweetheart!” His mother called after him.

“I’ll be back soon,” Arthur said back to her.

With his sword in its sheath at his hip, Arthur went to the mystery dwelling.

~ * ~

There were two windows on either side of the door. Vivid blue, purple and red flowers were planted in front of the house. The flowers made Arthur wonder if a witch who was skilled gardener lived here.

Cautiously, Arthur knocked on the door. He didn’t hear anyone come to answer. After knocking a second time with no answer and no noise coming from within, Arthur took a deep breath and let himself in. Fortunately the door just needed to be pushed open. Maybe it could have been magically locked, a security maneuver Arthur could overcome. Sometimes, he thought, being Pristinely Ungifted had its advantages.

Even if it was wrong to intrude like this, Arthur wouldn’t let this opportunity pass him by. What if he returned home and his mother had a change of heart and forbid him to investigate who lived here?

No. It was now or never.

“Hello? I mean no harm… I’m Arthur. I live next door,” Arthur said out loud, wondering if he was just speaking to the empty air.

Someone had to live here. They simply had to be away from home at the moment.

In the cottage, the kitchen area complete with a big hearth was opposite the door, overtaking the whole far side of the dwelling. There was a door to his right which he believed led to private bedchambers since he saw a bit of the bed inside the room. A beautiful ornately-designed round table was positioned next to a side window on the home’s left side. On the table, there was a piece of parchment, but though it had writing on it, Arthur stopped himself from giving it a closer look. He was intruding enough.

Focusing on the dark wooden table itself, he peered at the carving of a dragon breathing out a fiery phoenix gracing its top. Arthur soon realized the significance of this dragon and phoenix design upon seeing a small tapestry hanging on the wall near the table. The wall-hanging gave him proof that a member of the First Order, like his mother, lived here.

The tapestry had the same dragon breathing out a phoenix design, and the family name, ‘Emrys’ in big letters below it.

He remembered his mother telling him that only certain magic users and their descending bloodlines could achieve an official First Order status. That status was granted upon successful completion of high-level magic tests. When man began to first walk the land, some humans were blessed with great magical power from the gods while others gained lesser magic or no magic at all. The ones granted great powers were then collectively known as the First Order of wizards and witches.

Dismally, Arthur knew that he’d never be considered for the First Order despite his mother. He couldn’t wield magic after all so his magic potential was zero. And he didn’t think there was anyone else like him in the land. His mother had told him that being Pristinely Ungifted was a very rare condition.

That always made Arthur feel more alone.

He shook his head, getting those sad thoughts out of his mind. On the positive, he had to say this person’s family emblem was very striking with the dragon and phoenix. More impressive than his mother’s hazel tree family emblem. Not that there was anything wrong with the hazel tree…it just didn’t make Arthur think of power and strength as he did when he looked at the dragon-phoenix symbol.

His eyes betraying him, he glanced at the parchment lying upon the table so innocuously. Looking at it closer, Arthur was concerned to see what looked like tear stains on the parchment. Or could it just be water?

It looked to be a letter, an old one judging by the yellowing.

Against his better judgment and no help from his curiosity, he read the letter,

“My little bird,

I love you so much, my child. But I cannot help you now. Mystra will, she will save you. Be a good boy, okay? Listen to her and be good and kind, and you will be happy. I will always be with you in your heart.

I know you are sad about your sister, but do not mourn Freya, my love. Do not worry. She is in a better place full of light and love. She’s an angel now, sweetheart. She’s your guardian angel, and don’t doubt that she’s watching over you.

Good bye, my son.

I love you.

Mother”

Arthur felt sorry for this family. The tragedy this letter conveyed made him hope that this son found peace after such loss. Arthur couldn’t imagine losing his family, meaning his mother – the only family he knew. He found this letter strange and wondered why the mother was saying goodbye. Why was she giving her son up to this Mystra? And where was the boy’s father during all this?

One thing was for certain. This son had to be the one living in this cottage, and this had to be an old letter that he still kept. The son must be an adult now.

“Excuse me,” said a masculine voice from behind him. He sounded angry. “Who are you and how did you get in here?”

Arthur swore. He turned around, raising his hands to show he wasn’t going to reach for his sword.

The man before him looked only a few years older than Arthur. In his early twenties at the most. He had dark hair like his mother yet his mother’s hair was graying now due to age. His eyes were blue like Arthur’s, but it was a different sort of blue. Like looking a bright blue glowing light with hints of gold mixed in. The colouring reminded him of Falcon and how his feathers were bright blue with some gold. Idly he contemplated if that similarity meant he was destined to meet this man. He was grateful at least that the other man seemed to be close to his age if a little older.

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said immediately. “My name is Arthur… I know I entered without your permission. I’m sorry. Honestly.”

The man’s brilliant blue eyes narrowed. “I see. And how did you get in?”

“I’m uh, I’m Pristinely Ungifted,” Arthur said.

The man peered at him as if looking him over more carefully. “Magic neutralizer. What a nightmare,” he muttered under his breath.

“Sorry? I could leave…sorry again for trespassing. What’s your name though if I may ask?”

“Emrys,” the man answered, still appearing suspicious of Arthur.

“But I saw the tapestry. Isn’t that your family name?” Arthur pointed out, nodding at the tapestry.

“You came in without being invited, Arthur, so why should I give you my name?” Emrys retorted harshly.

“I understand. Nevermind. I’ll go.” Arthur turned to leave.

“Good,” said Emrys.

Arthur wanted to ask him why he was so angry about the intrusion, but knew that wasn’t his place. Yes, he was in the wrong for abusing his Pristinely Ungifted ability and entering a home that had to be magically hidden for a reason. But the way Emrys was acting made Arthur wonder whether whatever this wizard was hiding from was serious. Serious enough to get annoyed with Arthur who was a stranger and not threatening him.

Before Arthur opened the door, he couldn’t resist bringing up the letter – to show his sympathy of the loss Emrys had suffered.

He turned around, stance cautious. “I wanted to say I’m sorry about the loss of your sister. I read the letter. I know I shouldn’t have, but it was just lying there.”

Arthur regretted saying anything when Emrys looked at him darkly then at the letter on the table.

Emrys groaned. “I had spelled the letter so only I could read it. But yet here you are. A thorn in my side. Just leave.”

“Fine,” Arthur said curtly.

His Pristinely Ungifted ability was getting him into trouble here. It was best to not make the situation worse than it already was.

He left feeling unhappy, but still curiosity kept him intrigued. Emrys was around his age, and a First Order member like his mother. Arthur wanted to know about Emrys even if the wizard clearly had problems and was, well, cold with him which Arthur felt he deserved after the trespassing. Yet still… something drew him to the wizard. The man with blue eyes that reminded him of Falcon.

~ * ~

Merlin sat at his table, covering his face in his hands and feeling so tired all of a sudden. He felt awful for acting that way toward that man, Arthur. But he was trying to avoid meeting new people now. It was just easier and less painful.

And it was just his luck that this Arthur happened to be Pristinely Ungifted. There was only one person known in the land to be Pristinely Ungifted – the Lost Prince of Camelot. So they had to be one and the same.

He sighed as he took the letter in his hand, reading it over again like he had over the past ten years. Merlin had memorized the letter yet it still made his heart ache each time he read it.

My little bird,

I love you so much, my child. But I cannot help you now. Mystra will, she will save you.

He remembered.

Ten years ago:

“No! I want to stay with my mum,” A ten-year old Merlin exclaimed.

He clutched his mother’s dead body. She was the last family he had left and he couldn’t leave her. He couldn’t.

Mystra kept trying to pull him away. “Merlin, there’s nothing you can do for her. Your mother loved you. She would want you to be safe. We live in a dangerous world and I’m only seeking to protect you. Please, my child.” She finished gently.

Merlin wiped his tears, choking back a sob. He let Mystra pull him away and embrace him in her arms.

“I don’t want to be like my father,” Merlin said quietly.

“Your father was afflicted. He was not himself. He loved all of you – you, your mother and Freya – very much. That never changed. But I promise you that you won’t have the same…ailment your poor father had.”

Merlin nodded sullenly. “Okay,” he said softly. “Thank you, My Lady.”

He took her hand and allowed Mystra to lead him away from his mother, the letter his mother wrote to him clutched in Merlin’s hand. The letter was stained with his tears and he was torn between ripping it apart in unhappiness at losing his mother and keeping it forever.

*

In Mystra’s magically protected territory, Merlin feared he would be alone during his time under Mystra’s care.

But his concerns were left unfounded when an eight-year old dark-haired boy approached him. The boy had piercing green eyes that captured Merlin’s attention.

“Hello, I’m Mordred,” the boy said with a smile. “My mother is of the Le Fay family, but she gave me up so I have never met her,” the boy explained, sounding not too bothered by his mother’s actions. Or maybe he just hid it very well. “What’s your name?” Mordred asked as he sat down on the grass beside Merlin.

“Hi, my name is Merlin,” he told him. He paused a long moment, thoughts of his father pained him. “My father is of the Emrys family,” Merlin informed him with a shrug.

“Oh! You have that dragon-phoenix family emblem? That’s one of my favorites,” Mordred said.

Merlin nodded. He didn’t feel too excited about his family symbol. Anything to do with his family was hard to think about. He wished he still had his family and wasn’t so alone in the world now.

“Your symbol is the hazel tree, isn’t it?” Merlin brought up, deliberately moving the conversation away from his own family.

Mordred nodded. “Do you want to be friends?” He asked him, sounding uncertain like Merlin would reject his offer.

“Okay,” Merlin said easily.

He could use at least one friend. Mordred was his best hope.

~ * ~

Now:

“Merlin?”

Merlin looked up to find Mordred before him.

“I can’t stay hidden forever,” Merlin said. “They’ll find me, and kill me. And then with my affliction…”

Merlin looked down to find his hands shaking.

Mordred rested his hands over Merlin’s to still them. Merlin felt only slightly better at the touch. “I know your affliction is a new development, but I think you can still work around it.” Mordred said optimistically.

Merlin huffed. “I almost wish I had your affliction instead.”

“You’d hate it,” Mordred said lightly.

Merlin didn’t feel like answering that. Mordred was right anyway.

Mordred told him to get up then, that it wasn’t helping to sit there feeling miserable. Merlin let himself be pulled up by Mordred.

He idly wondered if that Arthur would return to visit him. Despite him being Pristinely Ungifted and making Merlin look like an idiot as he easily got past all his magical spells, Merlin had to admit he was attracted to the blond man. Arthur appeared to be a few years younger than him, and maybe a bit naïve, but Mystra help him, Merlin wanted to see more of that man.

Even if his affliction would make a mess of things. Merlin knew he had to be grateful for not having a worse affliction like his father had. Sometimes feeling that gratitude was hard, but he hoped that with time he would come to make peace with his predicament.

~ * ~

Arthur didn’t want to tell his mother about his time at the other cottage. He felt he’d made a mess of the situation enough by intruding when Emrys clearly wanted him to go.

But…

What if he visited tomorrow? Maybe today the wizard had been in a bad mood. If Arthur tried again, making sure to only come in if Emrys allowed him, then their second meeting could make up for the near disaster of today.

“How was it, Arthur?” Morgana asked him as they ate dinner.

Arthur shrugged. “All right, I suppose. He’s a part of the First Order like you. But he’s a private person. Told me he’d prefer to be left alone.”

“Did he tell you his name?” she asked him.

Arthur shook his head. “He didn’t.” And technically it was true since Emrys hadn’t given him his first name.

“Okay, well, we can only respect his wishes. It’s best you don’t visit him again,” his mother advised.

Arthur nodded, though inside, he knew he would be unable to resist seeing the man again. There was something about Emrys, and Arthur wouldn’t ignore that gut feeling. He had to see him again, it was that simple.

Even if Emrys might force him to leave again, Arthur wouldn’t be deterred.

~ * ~

Late in the night, Morgana was deep in the forest before she found him. All around her was quiet, too quiet, with only the odd hoot of an owl and the crinkling of leaves as she walked.

Her son was sitting before a big fire, and he didn’t look back even though he must have heard her approach.

“Mordred,” she said in a near whisper.

“Leave me alone, please,” he said, still not directing his gaze at her.

Morgana noticed how intensely Mordred was looking into the fire – as if staring at it hard enough would will the flames to reveal their secrets.

“I just want to talk to you, look at you,” Morgana said earnestly. “I have not seen you since you were small enough to hold in my arms. And I thought I would never see you again, but here you are. I heard there’s another member of the First Order living outside the forest, not far from where I live. Imagine my surprise when I sensed my own son nearby.”

Mordred didn’t say anything.

“Now I would guess that member is your friend? I would have sensed you sooner if you’d been living there. So I would assume you were visiting and live elsewhere.”

“I’m on my way home, and I don’t want to talk to you,” Mordred said, his tone firm.

Finally Mordred looked at her. Morgana saw that he had inherited her green eyes, eyes that flared like green fire as he looked upon her.

Morgana sat down beside him. She reached out her hand to touch his cheek. Mordred flinched and shifted away from her.

“Sweetheart…”

“Don’t,” Mordred said. “You’re not my mother, you’re just the woman who gave birth to me. And Mystra told me, don’t think she didn’t. How you wanted me to be a weapon, to kill my father. A King I don’t even know. Don’t lie to me now. I know I’m a weapon to you, not your son. Just go.”

“Mordred, that’s not true,” she defended, but paused when Mordred shot a disbelieving glare at her. “I was younger then,” Morgana changed tact. “I was very unhappy with my affliction, and I wanted Lot to pay for treating me terribly just because I looked old. I loved you from the moment you were born… you were never just a weapon. You are my son, my only trueborn son.”

“Go away, or I’ll make you leave,” Mordred said, not moved by her words.

Morgana was sad to know her son hated her so. Maybe if she had fought Mystra on the point of keeping her son, getting the chance to raise him, then Mordred would care for her as she cared for him. But to go against Mystra had been unthinkable. Morgana had felt like she had no choice then.

“Do you have an affliction?” Morgana asked.

She hoped he didn’t, but no one could escape the curse of the affliction unless he was Pristinely Ungifted like Arthur.

“Yes.”

“Well you look all right.” Morgana pointed out, grateful at least that her son hadn’t been given a physical deformity or been prematurely aged as she had. The magic poisoned land could be particularly unforgiving to some with the afflictions it forced upon them.

“It’s not one easily seen. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I’ve become used to it,” Mordred said nonchalantly, shrugging it off.

“I’m sorry you’ve had it for so long…if there was anything I could have done to spare you from the pain,” Morgana said.

“Please, I’d like to be alone,” Mordred said.

Morgana couldn’t leave without embracing him. He let her take him into her arms, and he relaxed only a little upon the contact.

She kissed him on top of the head, happy and relieved that her son resembled her more than his wretched father. It was a blessing to look at him, and to see her green eyes in her own child.

“Take care of yourself,” Morgana told her son as she pulled out of the embrace.

He only glanced at her, nodding slightly. “Goodbye.”

Morgana left her son with a heavy heart. She knew that he’d probably never call her Mother, but at least this meeting was a start.

~ * ~

Arthur knew he had an opportunity to see Emrys again the next day after breakfast. That was when his mother usually went to the market.

He decided not to take his sword, thinking it’d look better if he wasn’t so obviously armed. Instead, he took two daggers, one up his sleeve, sheathed and in a holster, and another on his leg.

After saying goodbye to Falcon, Arthur left home and headed to Emrys’s cottage.

He knocked on the door, feeling anxious as he waited for a response.

A few moments later, but what felt like an eternity, the door opened.

Emrys stood before him. But what puzzled Arthur was the lack of recognition on the wizard’s face as if he didn’t remember him.

“How did you see this place?” Emrys first asked, looking as confused as Arthur. And very concerned as well. That was odd, Arthur thought. Should he remember Arthur telling him about his ability? “I thought I had done a strong enough invisibility charm.”

“Hi…it’s me. Arthur. I visited yesterday?” Arthur told him. “Magic doesn’t affect me.”

Emrys’s eyes widened. “Oh I see now. You’re Arthur, the one who is Pristinely Ungifted. Sorry. I hit my head yesterday after you left. Memories are all a mess. Come in, Arthur,” he said graciously.

What Arthur didn’t miss was the lack of recognition still present on Emrys’s face, as if he was missing his memories of the day before, which was crazy to Arthur. How did a wizard of the First Order have memory problems? They were supposed to hold great power after all like his mother did.

“I’m sorry again about intruding yesterday,” Arthur brought up.

Emrys nodded absentmindedly. “Oh yes. Well no harm done…”

He went to the same round table Arthur had seen the letter at. The old letter was now gone and there was a journal on the table.

Arthur looked over and saw the journal said, “My memories.” He didn’t want to ask Emrys about it because if there was a chance the journal title had been magically concealed, then it would be like yesterday. And he didn’t want to Emrys to get annoyed with him again. Arthur wanted to be friends with this man no matter how strangely he acted.

Arthur also suspected that based on the journal title, Emrys was lying to him about hitting his head. It was something bigger than that and more concerning.

“Sit down, why don’t you? I was just writing in my journal…should have put it away. Very dull, but it’s good to write down your thoughts. To reflect sometimes.”

Emrys took the journal and made it magically disappear, to a place for safe-keeping Arthur guessed.

Arthur nodded as he sat down. He was suspecting another little lie though. But it wasn’t his place to intrude on Emrys’s private business. “Yeah, I understand.”

Emrys smiled. “Thank you. Would you like something to drink?” He asked as he moved to the hearth, and filled two cups with hot water from a pot he took from above the fire. He put a few herbs into the tea and set the cups down upon the table, sitting down himself across from Arthur.

“I’d like that.” Arthur said. “I was wondering what your name is? You only told me your name was Emrys, but that’s your family name, isn’t it?”

“My name is Merlin. Why didn’t I tell you that the other day?”

Arthur thought it just couldn’t be a coincidence that Falcon was a Merlin bird, and now this wizard went by Merlin. What if he was destined to meet this man?

“I think you were having a bad day,” Arthur told him. “I know I wasn’t helping when I’d come in when you’d have rather been without company.”

Arthur sipped the tea then, finding the tea pleasantly sweet, as if sweet berries put into the tea. He wondered just what sort of herbs Merlin used, and if they were magically enhanced.

Merlin shrugged. “That’s a shame then. As you can see, I’m feeling better today. Though I should tell you I’ll be leaving tomorrow. In case you decide to visit again.”

“You’re leaving? Why? You just arrived here yesterday? That’s sudden.”

“I suppose even one day here by myself isn’t working for me. I don’t like being alone. I thought it’d be better to stay with a good friend of mine. He’s like a brother to me and he’s agreed to letting me stay with him. I don’t know what possessed me to come here…anyway…” Merlin trailed off.

“I was hoping to spend more time with you,” Arthur told him. “I wish you weren’t leaving.”

Merlin was somewhat of a mystery Arthur wished to solve, but now he would be unable to if he wouldn’t see him again.

Merlin smiled. “I can tell you that I may return in a few months’ time in the autumn. That’s five months away. Not long at all.”

“My birthday will be around that time, in the autumn. I’ll be eighteen.”

“I’ll try to be back by then.” Merlin told him.

“I hope you do. Thanks for telling me you were leaving at least,” Arthur said.

Arthur hated this now. He had hoped he could see more of Merlin, but now the strange wizard was leaving the very next day after Arthur first met him. It was disappointing and frustrating. But Arthur couldn’t convince him to stay. Merlin would be better off with this close friend of his over Arthur whom he had just met.

Barely knowing the man, he had little to persuade Merlin to stay. He only had a desperate plea that he had no friends and that he saw the potential in striking up a friendship with Merlin.

Arthur said his goodbyes, and Merlin gave him early birthday wishes. It left Arthur both happy to have him as a friend and confused about the memory loss that Merlin appeared to have.

~ * ~

That night Arthur had a strange dream. He was in a small brightly-lit circular room. A beautiful woman with long white hair and pale blue eyes approached him, a warm smile reaching her eyes. Her silken blue gown flowed as she walked. Arthur didn’t fail to notice the big rose-coloured stone ring upon her finger, the stone as round as marble.

“Arthur Pendragon, my child, it’s so good to meet you finally. I am Mystra, leader of the First Order.”

“I was wondering who you were since I saw your name. But I don’t understand. My mother is of the same Order, and she never mentioned you.”

“I asked her not to… I knew one day I would see you and I could formally introduce myself. Your time is coming, Arthur, so I’m here to speak to you in this dream.”

“My time? Does this have to do with me being Pristinely Ungifted?” he guessed, knowing how rare the condition was.

Mystra nodded. “Yes, my dear. You are not aware of the afflictions plaguing the land, I assume? Your gift has protected you from such a curse.”

Arthur shook his head. “I’ve never heard of them. What are they?”

“Many centuries ago, a misguided wizard of the First Order believed that putting more magic into the land would benefit all humankind. Unfortunately he did not realize that over time, the magic would poison the land and turn on humans… forcing afflictions on everyone. No one can predict when they will gain an affliction; just that it is inevitable, making the waiting a terrible affair. Some may simply die before their time. I knew a witch who was untouched by an affliction for years. Yet her untimely demise was what the poisoned land cursed her with.”

“So the problem is magic?”

“No,” she told him gently. “The problem is there is too much magic saturating the land. The magic levels are too high. What needs to be done is to return the magic to healthier levels. We still need magic to keep the land thriving. We still need my kind, of the First Order, to remain guardians of magic. Only you can heal the land and cure those with afflictions. And for children yet to be born, they can be spared the pain of afflictions plaguing their parents.”

“Wait…these afflictions; do they affect those of the First Order too?” Arthur asked.

He thought of Merlin and his memory loss.

“Yes. No one is safe except for a Pristinely Ungifted one like you. A wizard is just as subject to the affliction as a person who does not possess magic.”

“These afflictions… what can they be? Could one of them be memory loss?” Arthur wondered.

Mystra looked at him knowingly, like she was aware of why he had brought up memory loss. Did she know he had met Merlin?

“Yes, memory loss is an affliction one could receive from the land. Afflictions can be a range of different conditions. While some are problems of the mind like memory loss, there are also physical deformities and ailments. Some deal with painful conditions for the rest of their lives. No one can rightly predict what affliction they will get, if it will be one they could live with or one that would drive them to end their lives.”

Arthur thought that was horrible and to imagine all the children not even born yet, who hadn’t done anything to deserve such a curse, would be afflicted. He had to do something to stop this. If Mystra said that he could help, then Arthur would do his best to rid the land of these afflictions.

“What must I do?” Arthur wanted to know.

“You need to gain a special key, a key freely given to you by its keeper.”

“Okay. Could you tell me where to find this keeper?”

Mystra gave him a small smile. “All I can tell you is that key is in the possession of an innocent soul. Someone you know will lead you to where you must go. His name is Merlin, of the Emrys family.”

“He told me he was leaving tomorrow though,” Arthur pointed out.

“That is not a problem. It won’t be until your eighteenth year that you can undertake the finding of the key. There is power in age, and for you, this is no exception. Merlin told you he will return. You can trust that he will come back when the time is right. You and he are meant to be by each other’s side. It is fated, a bond unlike any other. Now I shall leave you, Arthur. Fare well.”

With those last words from her, Mystra faded away from Arthur’s view. The dream ended leaving Arthur with a peaceful dreamless sleep for the rest of the night.

~ * ~

The next morning, Arthur decided to ask his mother if she had an affliction or if she hadn’t gained one yet. Arthur had never noticed anything peculiar about his mother to be deemed as one of these dreaded afflictions. So maybe she had been spared for now?

“I spoke with Mystra in my dreams last night. She told me about these afflictions. Do you know anything about them? Do you have one?” Arthur asked her, seeing how his mother froze and looked rather uneasy when he brought up the afflictions.

“Mother?” Arthur spoke again in concern when she didn’t respond.

She smiled weakly and sat down across from him.

“I’m glad that Mystra has spoken to you. I’ll be honest with you, my son; unfortunately I did have an affliction.”

“But how did it go away? Mystra told me the afflictions lasted until you died.”

“I was lucky,” his mother explained simply. Then she continued when Arthur nodded for her to speak further, “When I turned sixteen, I was aged beyond my years. I feared I would die from the affliction, from the pains of old age. It hurt to know that I should have had decades yet to live, and yet all those years were forcibly taken from me.”

“But you were able to find a cure?”

His mother nodded. “I learned that you would help me, simply by your presence, to reverse my condition and return me to my rightful age. Your birth saved my life. I was able to age normally once again.”

“If I was able to help you, then could I do the same with others who have these afflictions?”

“I do not know, sweetheart. I was lucky that my affliction was solved because of you, but other afflictions may require a different remedy.”

“I wish I could help somehow,” Arthur voiced with a sigh. While he knew from Mystra that when he was eighteen, he would be able to make things better, it was a shame he couldn’t do it now.

His mother smiled at him lightly. “I know, my dear. But you shouldn’t trouble yourself with matters that don’t affect you. Worrying too much will make you ill.”

Arthur nodded. “Thank you for…you know, telling me about your affliction.”

“Yes, of course.”

He spent most of the day outside. Though he saw Merlin’s dwelling still there, Arthur didn’t dare go inside. Merlin was gone by now, he was sure, and if he went and checked then he’d have it confirmed.

Five months until he would see the mysterious wizard again.

When everything would change, Arthur didn’t doubt that.

~ * ~

Part two

"New Year's Resolutions" via generator... :p

dk323 — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 04:20:18 GMT

In 2013, dk323 resolves to...

Give up oasis.
Apply for a new interpol.
Find a better vast.
Admit my true feelings to reni_m.
Go to the dogs every month.
Spend less time on muse.

dk323 — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 22:15:25 GMT

^ Credit to roxicons
Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays to all!
(lol Santa pulled a Cinderella :p)

Vid Rec: Mordred/Merlin/Arthur || Battles 5x11 (squeeing so hard...such an amazing vid)

dk323 — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 20:22:26 GMT

From song: "I will lift her love, and I'll break your spirit"

This vid makes 5x11 look better. :p It deals with the conflicts among Mordred, Merlin and Arthur in 5x11... kind of like an epic tribute to 5x11 (the episode had its problems, but omg I love that there are vidders that can make things look better when set to the right song and some great clip choices).

I haven't heard this song (Battles by Hudson Taylor) before the vid, but I love it so much now. I bought the song actually after watching this vid because it was so good.

And the way the vidder fit the clips to the lyrics was really well-done in my opinion. I get excited to see a well put together vid with an amazing song I haven't heard before. It's like two presents in one. Hence my SQUEE. *grins*

The vidder is Missjessieban. Watch in 720p HD.

Silver on the Tree

Merry Christmas!

Happy Fourth of July!

Sherlock BBC fanvid recs

PL 2013: That Age-Old Lament ~ Masterpost ~

Paperlegends 2013...loving this fic

Merlin vid rec: Dirt In My Eyes by secretlytodream

Merlin vid recs

Baby fawn in bird's nest + vid rec (Narnia: lift me up, let me go)

~ Midnight Merlin S5 Fanvid Rec ~ The prophets do not lie

Merlin fanvid rec: ~ to rise again

~ Arthur/Merlin fanvid rec of epicness ~

Awww...when dogs can't resist helping out their owners ;)

Being Human (UK) ~ 5x01

Pretty graphics from Tumblr [RECS of awesome]

Merlin fic: A King's Final Wish (post 5x13)

*grins*

Colin Morgan wins at National TV Awards!! *grins*

Merlin fic: Not Alone (2)

Merlin fic: Not Alone (1)

AU Merlin fic: The Powerless Prince (3)

AU Merlin fic: The Powerless Prince (2)

AU Merlin fic: The Powerless Prince

"New Year's Resolutions" via generator... :p

Vid Rec: Mordred/Merlin/Arthur || Battles 5x11 (squeeing so hard...such an amazing vid)

grins

Colin Morgan wins at National TV Awards!! grins