Dispatch 001
I’m excited to be writing this inaugural Dispatch From Heck. Maybe a little too excited. I have a strong sense, day in and day out, that I am living too much in my head. There are so many thoughts I’d like to share, but there is a certain level of fear that comes with vulnerability.
If you subscribed to my former newsletter Horror Writer’s Support Group, you know that I deeply value vulnerability. I have encouraged others to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Protect yourself and your boundaries, yes. But also—let people know who you are and how you feel, because those things have meaning, and they’re often universal.
You may have noticed somewhere along the line, I became less vulnerable. More prone to holding my feelings in until they became overwhelming, and making bad decisions as a result. The truth is, something happened that made me want to withdraw. I put my walls up, and they were impenetrable. I once spoke of ‘horror community’ as a monolith. I learned the hard way that we are not homogenous. I got hurt. Maybe we don’t all want the same things. Maybe to listen is not enough. Maybe to be heard is not enough.
It’s difficult not to fall into despair. Who can you trust? Who has your back when shit gets hard and real? The only way to know is to go through something hard and real and see who is left on the other side.
One thing I know for sure: There are good people in these parts. I know because they hold me every day, in texts and emails, DMs and Zoom calls. Even in real life. Maybe we aren’t living in Hell after all. Maybe we’re living in Hell-lite. Maybe we’re living in Heck.
The Trans Rights Readathon began on Monday and runs until March 27. If you’re fundraising for a day or for the whole week, here are a few trans horror authors you should know:
