Abandoned Realm of Destruction

"Where now are the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?"

2018-02-15T04:56:39Z

...is this thing still on?

The Unforgiven III

2011-07-29T07:07:23Z

How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?
Set sail to sea but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid
Always afraid
Of the things he's feeling
He could just be gone

He would just sail on
He would just sail on

How can I be lost?
If I've got nowhere to go?
Searched the seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost
In remembrance I relive
How can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on inside a fog
It's thick and suffocating
This seeking life outside its hell
Inside intoxicating
He's run aground
Like his life
Water's much too shallow
Slipping fast
Down with the ship
Fading in the shadows now
A castaway

They've
All gone
Away

They've gone away

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me not
Forgive me
Forgive me, why can't I forgive me?

Set sail to sea but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure
How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost
In remembrance I relive
So how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

dire5 @ 2011-07-07T00:18:00

2011-07-07T05:18:56Z

Ever have a piece of music capture how you're feeling perfectly?

Condition Summary: Part 1

2011-05-15T23:45:50Z

I don't even know who she is.

Puts a new perspective on it, doesn't it?

dire5 @ 2011-05-07T02:59:00

2011-05-07T07:59:27Z

From Twitter 03-02-2011

2011-03-03T03:00:15Z

05:39:00: @Freereignband Quick question, is it "I stepped so far" or "I slipped so far"? I love the new song, but that one word I just can't make out!

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[Selling Gaming Books] - Seeking Advice

2011-02-13T06:45:19Z

So,

I've been playing Pathfinder (D&D "3.75" after a fashion) and I am loving it lots more than I ever did D&D 3.5 (and I loved D&D 3.5 tons more than 3.0). I have many Pathfinder books, and many 3.5/3.0 books, and have decided that I don't need both, and so I am looking to sell my 3.5 books.

I'm not sure whether I should try to sell these individually or as a set/lot... either way, I want to make the list open to friends in case anyone has been looking for one of these or somesuch:

List Price - Book Name (Edition if not 3.5) - Low-end sale price range averaging Amazon Marketplace and Half.com
34.95 - Stormwrack - 30-50
34.95 - Magic Item Compendium - 50-80
34.95 - Weapons of Legacy - 20-40
19.95 - Monster Manual I (3.0) - 2-10
34.95 - Monster Manual II (3.0) - 5-20
29.95 - Player's Handbook I - 20-40
34.95 - Player's Handbook II - 15-25
26.95 - Rules Compendium - 50-60
29.95 - Dungeon Master's Guide - 20-30
29.95 - Complete Scoundrel - 30-50

Thoughts/Interest?

Thanks!

From Twitter 12-30-2010

2010-12-31T03:00:31Z

14:06:54: @Learsfool That makes two of us. I finally found a use for mine in fact.

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Music Help?

2010-12-12T19:10:46Z

(Crosspost from elsewhere)

I have lots of friends who listen to very diverse music...so I'm hoping I can get some thoughts here.

Lately I've found myself looking for music that has this kind of "feel" to it (kind of dark/mountainy feel but with a solid driving bass line and beat...), but I can't really find anything that fits the bill except a random piece here or there...was wondering if anyone had any ideas:

Johnny Cash: Rusty Cage (Soundgarden Cover)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYAE9iO6xp8

Johnny Cash: God's Gonna Cut You Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IStlBOX9F4o

Johnny Cash: Ain't No Grave
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66QcIlblI1U

Godsmack: One Rainy Day (Song starts 30sec into the video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ee9po6V0T3w

Thanks very much if you have any suggestions!!!

dire5 @ 2010-12-01T03:47:00

2010-12-01T09:47:16Z

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one that falls
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

From Twitter 10-18-2010

2010-10-19T03:00:19Z

16:49:54: Houston, we have a thesis topic.

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Dire's yearly tradition on the 9th of Tishri

2010-09-17T22:20:19Z

I hope you'll all forgive me for this, but as it's something I've been doing online on my journals/facebook/forums I'm a part of since 2003, I feel it's only appropriate for me to continue to do so -

In Judaism there's a tradition called Selichot, which occurs in the week or so between Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur. It's when we go to our friends, and ask them for forgiveness for any transgressions we may have done them during the past year.

Yom Kippur is the Jewish Day of Atonement, the last of the Days of Awe, that begins one hour before sunset on Kol Nidre (Erev Yom Kippur, or the night before), and ends one our after sunset the following day. Part of the evening of Kol Nidre, and in theory all day on Yom Kippur we spend our time in prayer, in synagogue, and fasting the entire time.

As we seek forgiveness from God, we also seek forgiveness from our fellow man and woman. There is a tradition that goes forth with this, one that I don't think was intended to be used on an electronic medium - but because of the modern world, so many of those who I call friends, and those who I care about even more than friendship live so varied and far apart, we stay connected through the electronic means of communication, and as such I think it'll be ok.

I wanted to wish everyone a good Yom Tov, an Easy Fast where applicable, and for each and every one who reads this, I wish to beg your forgiveness for any sins, offenses, problems, or drama, by word or by deed, knowing or unknowing, that I may have committed against you in this past year.

To everyone, please stay safe this weekend, and I hope that things are going well in your life for you and yours.

Sincerely,

Mike

( For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about... http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday4.htm )

From Twitter 05-31-2010

2010-06-01T03:00:46Z

05:51:34: Plus ce change, plus ce meme chose.

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Tech Question...

2010-05-29T20:18:39Z

Any of my friends good enough with http and proxies and such and could possibly teach me how to, say, log onto IRC using a proxy server?

I'm working on an RPG idea, but I have a need to do some tech stuff to make it work right.

Any takers?

Thanks!

[FFXI Memories] Dammit...

2010-05-26T23:26:59Z

So, Final Fantasy "Distant Worlds II" tour was supposed to come to Ravinia Festival near Chicago this August. I already have tickets in-hand... and today they announce that the concert is canceled :(

So I hop onto the Distant Worlds II site to confirm it...and what starts playing on the website as soon as I do?

"Memora de la Stona" from FFXI

...and I realize that a part of me still really misses playing that game, and the friendships I made through it (yea, you know who you are out there).

Le sigh.

( http://www.ffdistantworlds.com/index.php?option=com_eventlist&view=details&id=26:ravinia-august-1-2010&Itemid=62 if you want to see the announcement and hear the music player in the bottom left corner )

[Cam] Mason - New Daeva backstory

2010-05-22T08:22:52Z

Mason's history is below the cut for those who are interested in a background hookup. For those who expressed interest earlier, I've put some ideas down - feel free to poke me if you have ideas :)

Brother Mason

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time, run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar, go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Mason Cavan was born in Chicago in 1966 to a good Irish family. His mother’s side of the family was made up primarily of policemen, and his father’s side of the family all worked in construction or similar areas for the city. Mason tended towards his father’s profession, but his parents wanted him to have a better life than they did, and so they stayed on his case to do well in school, and helped pay for him to enroll in college to receive a degree in civil engineering with a computer sciences minor.

However, Mason’s family was too poor to support him to enter into a graduate program, which was what he wanted to do, and so at age 21 he entered the Great Lakes Division of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, to help pay for his degree. After a few years, Mason went through officer training, and was commissioned in the U.S. Army as a 2nd Lieutenant.

As he lived and worked as an Army Engineer, Mason expressed a desire to “be in it” more, and as the Persian Gulf crisis loomed, he submitted for a transfer to artillery command soon after being promoted to 1st Lieutenant, and joined the 3rd “Greywolf” Brigade of the 1st Armored Cavalry Division (his unit was part of the 82nd Field Artillery Regiment), which was deployed to the Middle East in 1990. He was placed in command of the Fire Direction Center for a battery of six guns – his unit utilized the M109A6 “Paladin” howitzers – and directed fire missions during Operation Desert Storm.

During a particularly hectic night of fire support missions, Mason received a call from a platoon requesting close artillery support just outside of a town they were holding. Mason took the coordinates and ordered his guns to fire… only to learn that the coordinates caused the guns to blast the town instead of the Iraqi forces, and innocent civilians and U.S. soldiers lost their lives.

Mason was relieved of command before dawn the next morning, and as part of the inquiry, was driven by the town he was accused of being responsible for obliterating mere hours before. Seeing this “broke” something in Mason’s soul, and he put up virtually no resistance during his court martial – the only thing saving him from a prison sentence was the fact that the error for the fire mission was on the part of the soldiers who reversed their versus the target positions during the radio call, which was recorded and played back at the court martial. Because Mason was the officer in charge, and he did not verify the coordinates, he was dishonorably discharged from the military, and sent packing. There was very little press or to-do about the incident, since the Army wanted it kept as quiet as possible.

Unwilling to return home, Mason returned to the Middle East in 1992, winding up in Jerusalem as a bit of a wanderer – unkempt and unshaven, searching for…well, searching for something that he couldn’t quite define. He spent time in libraries in Jerusalem, reading up on history, theology, trying to perhaps find an escape to his guilt in faith. Destiny, however, knew the perfect definition for what he truly sought, and delivered it unto him, in the form of a Daeva vampire of the Lancea Sanctum.

Mason found himself, as if led by some song unheard, coming to a certain library late at night, several times in t he same month, and encountering an American from the “deep south” named Eli. After over a month of these encounters, Brother Eli Tate (Jed) sat down and explained the choice he was giving to Mason – to die as food, or to take unholy communion and cross over as one of the Damned. Mason was given a week, and when the time to decide came, he accepted the offer, and was embraced in Jerusalem after a day of fasting and prayer.

The next two years were purely instructional. Brother Eli was a calm, quiet Daeva, whose desires were for learning more than for anything else. As a sire, he taught Mason the basics of survival and coming into his own as a vampire, Arabic, Aramaic, and also taught him the Testament of Longinus. Eli was a patient teacher, and Mason got the impression that Eli would rather have a thoughtful atheist as a childer rather than a mindless zealot. Mason took great care to learn from his sire in all things, but was always relatively quiet and reserved with his opinions.

Following this time with his sire, in 1994 Mason was placed in contact with Brother Maddox (Mykle), one of the Nepheshim, who questioned Mason for five nights before accepting him, and placing him under the Oath of the Nepheshim, setting Mason on a path to wander for the next five years and five nights in the “Chorbah” – the “desolate places” between vampire domains and civilizations, taking with him the Testament of Longinus as well as a burning desire to find the faith his soul had been clamoring for before his embrace.

(1994-1999, wandering Nepheshim)

- Meets Ethan who is teaching classes on military science and religion, attends night classes here and there as he passes through. (Mark duc_de_duras)
- Meets… (Nicole ladynissa)
- Meets Godspell… (Ray R. witchmystic)
- Meets… (Scott poly_scott)
- Meets Eddie Brewer (Stu)

In 1998, during one of his travels, Mason made the acquaintance of Mary Jane (Kat) and Nicodemus Fell (Ray B.), Mary being someone that Brother Maddox had mentioned as a friend. The three of them traveled together on that trip, and Mary gave Mason a way to reach her. Later that year, Mary and Mason met up again, and spent many nights up almost until dawn talking theology, exploring Mason’s burgeoning Exotheism. Eventually, the conversation found its way to talking about the practice of Fire Dancing, something Mary engaged in. After hearing the philosophy behind it, Mason wanted to do it, and so he and Mary built a fire the two of them could manage, and they worshipped in this unique way…until they realized that it was very, very close to dawn. Scrambling quickly but calmly, the two of them found a place to hunker down, amidst some sarcastic and lewd humor, which cemented their friendship even further. Mary and Mason stayed regularly in touch ever since.

In 1999, after Mason’s Oath expired, he gave serious thought to returning to his home in Chicago. Along the way, he stopped off at a town in Illinois, and met a Daeva named Grace (Sarah), who invited him to stay and party with her. A month of sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll ensued, but by the end of it, Mason realized that he could not abandon discipline entirely with his oath expired… Grace’s partying, which was probably too hearty for a whole South American country to handle, drove him away from thinking about returning to Chicago to relax and enjoy himself. Instead, he returned to the road.

(1999-2009, wandering post-Nepheshim Oath)

Over time after the beginning of the 21st century, through friendship with Mary, Brother Maddox, and others of the Sanctified (and one unaligned named Bones), Mason found himself semi-adopted into a coterie of war veterans who, like him, had experienced some sort of horror in war, and it changed their world.

In 2007, during one of Mason’s year-long jaunts around the Chorbah, he came across a young female Daeva in a run-down truckstop of a town, being slightly careless with her affections as she sought a ride to take her on a journey of her own. Her naïveté brought a smile to his face, thinking about how he might be under similar circumstances, without his past to haunt him, or his place in God’s plan laid out before him. Engaging her in conversation and learning her name as Katana (Shannon), Mason offered to accompany her and protect her in exchange for her company and hearing her stories, so he could learn. Mason and Katana spent the year traveling here and there as friends, companions, and lovers. As Katana was still somewhat of a novice in the Circle of the Crone, Mason took time that year to learn about that covenant from the perspective of a newcomer, so he could incorporate what the Sanctified considered pure heathen paganism into his own theological paradigm – specifically, how the crone was influenced by mortal religious practices that pre-dated Christianity, and how similarities might be found in how Sanctified theology had been changed by mortal practices.

Then, after nearly twenty years since his fateful decision to leave engineering to rush to smear blood on his hands, Mason decided it was time to return home – to Chicago. After expressing this in a conversation with Mary in May of 2010, she directed Mason to seek out Cardinal Sebastian at the Lancea Sanctum Basilica in DeKalb, near Chicago. Mason and Sebastian met and spent several nights in conversation with one another, their mutual association with Mary getting them started on excellent terms. When they parted ways, Mason had agreed to serve Cardinal Sebastian as a protector and paladin, and to try and bring some level-headedness to the diocese of Chicago.

[Cam] New Requiem PC - Looking for hookups

2010-05-12T22:36:52Z

Looking for hookups for a new Daeva PC I'm working on and hoping to debut in a few weeks locally.

At the moment, the hookups I'm looking for are from 1994-2009.

I don't have a Sire at the moment yet either, so I'm open to that as well.

Friends, enemies, etc, I'm open.

More details to come!

LJ Problems (lifted from jantra)

2010-05-11T21:06:16Z

LiveJournal is monetizing outbound links to many e-commerce sites. If you make a link to many eCommerce sites, LiveJournal silently redirects it through 'outboundlink.net'. It isn't even all outbound links either! EVEN LJ LINKS TO OTHER PARTS OF LJ have this same problem sometimes.

To leave this program:

1. Open the Admin Console at http://www.livejournal.com/admin/console/
2. Execute the following command: set opt_exclude_stats 1

If you have FF+AdBlockerPlus:

Add a filter for

http://l-stat.livejournal.com/js/pagestats/dRev.js

-- Seriously LJ, this isn't cool. This is tracking our links, and in some people's cases, making them have to click links more than once because of your bullshit. Also, if you've been having links not work, or open up in new windows at random, this is why.

From Twitter 04-19-2010

2010-04-20T03:00:41Z

23:17:16: Do any of my friends use twitter to the point where I'd honestly miss a lot of your lives if I deleted my twitter account?

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From Twitter 04-11-2010

2010-04-12T03:00:49Z

07:11:39: Yep, broken toe. Still having fun though (sans the lack of both sleep and cold temperatures)!

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From Twitter 04-10-2010

2010-04-11T03:00:42Z

17:10:21: Possibly have a broken toe, but am having a fun time in the St. Francois Mts.

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From Twitter 04-06-2010

2010-04-07T03:00:55Z

21:14:19: honestly did not expect to be this disappointed in what seemed like a foregone conclusion

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What I want - too beautiful of a thought not to save

2010-04-02T07:45:25Z

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow. If you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be joy, mine or you own; if you can dance with wilderness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling is true. I want to know if you would disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday and you can source your life from it's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the moon 'Yes!' It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of griefs and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all falls away. I want to know if you can be alone, with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

From Twitter 03-20-2010

2010-03-21T03:00:32Z

06:30:38: Was told something tonight that made me blush and smile. Now, if only I could find a way to use geology to change continental geography...

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From Twitter 03-18-2010

2010-03-19T03:00:46Z

10:01:05: @aspwriter85 oy...and I'm just heading to bed :(

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