The Non-Sticky Tricky Dicky

Flist management - PSA

2015-07-23T07:30:39Z

Good morning.

I have just been over my flist and trimmed it a little - there are people there who have had little or no contact with me for a long time, after all.

If I have made a mistake and removed you in error, please, PLEASE send me a PM to let me know, and I will reinstate you.

Also, if you have in the past attempted to friend me and I seem to have ignored you, likewise, please do send me a message. I may have overlooked your approach, not been notified by LJ, or not responded because you didn't send me a message along with the friending.

Thank you.

PSA: Flist cleanup

2015-04-04T16:46:02Z

I am beginning a clean-up of my flist. There are some people on my flist with whom I have had little or no contact, and so I don't really see the point of keeping them on there.

If I have removed you by mistake, or you wish to be reinstated, do feel free to pm me. Thank you.

HUGE rec for "This Crumbling Pageant" by Patricia Burroughs

2014-05-12T09:13:41Z

Dear LJ friends

You may or may not be aware that our dear friends at Story Spring Publishing have brought out a new book, this one the first in a projected trilogy.

The story concerns a girl on the verge of womanhood, trying to find her role in a confusing and dangerous world, where she must choose the correct path, often turning against everything she has been taught to believe is right and true. There's plenty of magic, adventure, drama, a touch of romance, and world-building that convinces at every turn, but above all a rip-roaring yarn which will carry you from beginning to end without wanting to put it down!

For my friends here, who were brought together - mostly - by a particular pairing in a particular fandom, I should add that the dynamic which seemed to us so right there, is present in these new characters in this new book - it's something that we will recognise and thrill to.

So please, do support Story Spring, which itself grew out of relationships forged through fandom, and buy "THIS CRUMBLING PAGEANT" and - very importantly - please SPREAD THE WORD! Both the book and the publisher deserve it!

"THIS CRUMBLING PAGEANT" is available through Amazon, B&N, and Kobo.

You might also want to look at, buy and spread the word about SSP's other publications:

"Thoroughly Modern Monsters" (http://www.amazon.com/Thoroughly-Modern-Monsters-J-L-Aldis-ebook/dp/B00FJGLPMM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399885867&sr=8-1&keywords=thoroughly+modern+monsters - and also at amazon uk and B&N)

and

"The Earthquake Doll" (http://www.amazon.com/Earthquake-Doll-Candace-Williams-ebook/dp/B00H912SEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399885926&sr=8-1&keywords=the+earthquake+doll)

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/655701.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Another book from Story Spring Publishing - signal boost

2014-03-06T17:22:39Z

Cover Reveal - New Book Release at Story Spring!

Many of you have asked us what's been going on these days at Story Spring Publishing.

We are excited to say we're getting ready for the Cover Reveal of:

This Crumbling Pageant
by
Patricia Burroughs
coming in May 2014

Persephone Fury is the Dark daughter, the one they hide.

England, 1811. Few are aware of a hidden magical England, a people not ruled by poor mad George, but the dying King Pellinore of the House of Pendragon.

The Furys are known for their music, their magic, and their historic role as kingmakers.
When Fury ambitions demand a political marriage, Persephone is drugged and presented to Society--

Only to be abducted from the man she loves by the man she loathes.

But devious and ruthless, Persephone must defy ancient prophecy,
embrace her Dark magic, and seize her own fate.

Be swept away into the first book of a dark fantasy series combining swashbuckling adventure,
heart-pounding romance, and plot-twisting suspense.

Want to be first to sneak a peek at the cover?
SIGN UP for the newsletter! http://furytriad.us3.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=5f0e3b31ed6600a80c59f9ab4&id=f739340999

Want to get advance glimpses of heroines, villains, and heroes?
SIGN UP for the newsletter! http://furytriad.us3.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=5f0e3b31ed6600a80c59f9ab4&id=f739340999

Want to be swept away by the adventure? the romance? the suspense?
SIGN UP for the newsletter! http://furytriad.us3.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=5f0e3b31ed6600a80c59f9ab4&id=f739340999

Want a chance at WINNING AN AWESOME WAND?

Wait! You need to know that in this world,
only the wicked - the very, very wicked - carry wands.
Do you dare?

SIGN UP for the newsletter! http://furytriad.us3.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=5f0e3b31ed6600a80c59f9ab4&id=f739340999

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/647107.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

UK Government's plans to 'reform' the legal aid system - sign the petitions to stop them!

2013-06-08T09:11:53Z

If you want to know what they're up to in this latest attack on the powerless, underprivileged and vulnerable, I suggest you listen to John Finnemore's blistering attack on the proposals in last night's edition of The Now Show on Radio 4: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0214336/The_Now_Show_Series_40_Episode_4/

And, in addition to the petition at 38 Degrees, http://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/save-legal-aid-say-no-to-cut-price-justice, there is also a UK Government petition to sign: https://submissions.epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/48628

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/589509.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Signal boost: Missing person UK - HE'S BEEN FOUND

2013-05-24T08:40:56Z

APPARENTLY HE'S BEEN FOUND.

Got this from Mr D, who got it from one of his bosses, who I think is a friend of the missing guy's father:

I'm sorry if you have seen this already on Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin, but I am trying to get this message to as many people as possible.

My son Giles has been missing since he left his office in St Albans at lunchtime on Monday. A photo is attached.

I'd be very grateful if you could help find him by circulating his photo to as many of your contacts as you can through your business or social media feeds.

I'm updating regularly on Twitter @JohnGordonSaker and here is a link to the local news story

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/10439268.Father_launches_Twitter_campaign_to_find_missing_son/?ref=twtrec

Please get his photo to as many of your contacts as you can, needless to say we are frantic with worry.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/584428.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

The Petulant Poetess in need - signal boost

2013-03-02T09:53:18Z

It seems that TPP has some bills that are proving hard to cover.

I, for one, do not wish to see the disappearance of another archive where I both post my stories and read other people's work. TPP is asking for donations.

Here is the link to Juni's post about what's going on: http://petulantpoetess.livejournal.com/96883.html At the end of that post, there is a link to TPP's Paypal donation button.

If everyone who uses the archive gives just a little, we can help to keep this important record of our fandom, our enthusiasm, our community and most of all our damn fine work alive.

I've given. Can you?

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/555910.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Signal boost for new fantasy novel by Jonathan Waite: "Tetrad"

2013-02-21T11:20:55Z

Tetrad by Jonathan Waite - also known as Zander Nyrond

Carol Varland meets her boyfriend Chris at the airport, and all seems well. But Chris has been touched by a secret thousands of years old, and sinister forces are pursuing him...

http://www.avevale.org/index.php/episodes-plays/10-epsodes-plays/7-tetrad

This is now complete in PDF, EPUB and MOBI formats on Zander's web site. Scroll down to the bottom of the page to find the files of the complete book, rather than the instalments.

I haven't read it - yet - but I do know and like Zander's writing. He's humane, intelligent, often very funny, and I am looking forward to reading this novel.

Like many of us, Zander is trying to break into making a living - or part of a living - through writing, and you will notice a Paypal "Donate" button on the page. I would encourage you not only to download and read but also to pay the amount you'd usually expect to pay for an e-book. (If you usually only download free e-books, I'd urge you to break your habit and drop a few squids in the pot.)

Thank you for listening.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/552633.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Exchange fic rec

2013-02-02T23:40:41Z

I've just finished reading the gift written for Shefa and have to rec it instantly!

It's called "Unconventional Therapies" (http://sshg-exchange.livejournal.com/318001.html) and is a wonderful exploration of the strength and the vulnerability that come through love. It's intelligent, nicely written, and a very satisfying emotional journey.

SSHG exchange rec

2013-01-28T17:01:20Z

"More Things In Heaven And Earth" - http://sshg-exchange.livejournal.com/314776.html - is a delightful two-part story of snarkily developing romance. It's well written and very amusing and I heartily recommend it.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/546245.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Art rec - Snapecase

2013-01-26T19:00:56Z

http://snapecase.livejournal.com/41058.html#cutid1

This is an adorable picture of young Severus out collecting ingredients.

Please go and leave some love, and maybe have a look at the fest in general - there's rather a dearth of comments, sadly.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/545179.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Exchange fic rec

2013-01-21T17:03:54Z

I just read a delightfully funny and affecting short fic on the SSHG Exchange. "The Caprine Intervention" involves some blunt talk, delightful innuendo, underhand behaviour, and a satisfying resolution. It made me LOL and also tear up a bit. Please go and read, and leave some love.

http://sshg-exchange.livejournal.com/310663.html#t19328135

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/542778.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Art rec

2013-01-15T17:32:28Z

Here's a lovely picture of Snape out collecting ingredients for his potions. He looks peacefully occupied, enjoying the solitude.

http://snapecase.livejournal.com/36431.html#t603215

While you're there, why not go and read/look at some of the other offerings on Snapecase? They're all short stories, snapshots really, or art - and this is the last year that this festival will be run, so I think we need to make sure it goes out in style. http://snapecase.livejournal.com/

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/540602.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Another SSHG Exchange must-read

2013-01-08T23:46:13Z

The gift for Annie Talbot, which was posted before Christmas, is an absolute tour-de-force. It's called "Worlds Enough, and Time" and can be found here: http://sshg-exchange.livejournal.com/301445.html

Even if you are usually put off by the idea of crossovers, don't let that be a barrier to you reading this. It's a hugely clever, witty, wise, joyful, and occasionally laugh-out-loud meta reflection on the nature of stories and their importance. It's also a universe-hopping romance, and I wish I could squee more about it, but I can't do that without spoiling all the delicious surprises and jokes.

Just go and read it - it's delightful. And don't forget to leave some love.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/538902.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

An extraordinary story

2012-12-06T10:02:32Z

The SSHG exchange just came up with one of the best short stories I have EVER read:

http://sshg-exchange.livejournal.com/291535.html

It's completely extraordinary, and will live with me for a long time. And so bittersweet. There are tears running down my cheeks.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/529928.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Flist tidying

2012-08-29T08:43:42Z

Just a headsup that I will be doing a little pruning of my flist in the next few days.

If I haven't heard from someone/can't remember seeing a post from them in a long time/have little idea who they are, then the chances are that I will de-friend.

There's nothing personal intended by this - just tidying up.

If you think you might be one of these people but want to stay on the list, then please by all means let me know and I'll be happy to keep you there.

If I take you off the list by mistake - which is entirely possible - then please comment to this post, which I will make public, and I will reinstate you.

To whomever has received my SSHG prompts

2012-06-05T14:53:47Z

Just in case you don't know me and my tastes.

I like Severus to have rough edges. He's got a soft heart but it is well hidden and hard to reach under all the layers of armour. He's clever, he's funny, he's witty, he's sarcastic, but he's also prone to black moods and self-doubt. He's mostly under control, but when he loses his temper, he really loses it. Hermione's not perfect, either. She too is clever, but she's more direct than Severus, and sunnier of disposition. She's capable of being twisty and unscrupulous, but she'd rather be direct in her dealings with people. She hates being underestimated, but she knows how to use it to her advantage. She's perfectly able to live without a man in her life, but she'd rather like to find one whom she can respect and who will respect her.

What I like in terms of genre: humour, romance, happy endings, intrigue, mystery, adventure, cleverness, wit, repartee, a little angst if it's resolved - twist my heart-strings, but don't leave them knotted.

What I don't like: kink, dark!fic, bastard!Severus, doormat Hermione, Regency, smut for smut's sake, doom and gloom, death!fic, and stuff of that ilk. Not too interested in babies or children. Not a big fan of crossovers, despite my first prompt. I choose (loftily) to think of that as fusion fic.

I think you get the general picture.

Have fun!

I've posted my SSHG exchange prompts!

2012-05-10T10:30:10Z

And here they are:

Three fic prompts:

1. Maverick Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt has always known that the ultimate evil would be back in one form or another, and now it's here, he needs to reel in the misfits he hopes will pull off another skin-of-the-teeth victory. But what misfits they are: Severus Snape, locked away in his ivory tower, inventing magical gadgets and potions mostly for his own amusement; Hermione Granger, hiding from the magical world while she attempts to cope with her curse-induced epic anger management problems; Lucius Malfoy, sentenced to a punishment of one hundred years asleep and woken to find that he looks really good in lycra; Luna Lovegood, her spying mission (disguised as another Snorkack hunt) interrupted for no good reason that she can see; …

Yes, I loved the Avengers film.

Please, Mystery Author, feel free to cast whomever you like in the parts of Thor and Hawkeye, and of course the Big Evil.

2. The Hampton Court maze holds more than one secret. Hermione thinks she's on a nice day out with friends, celebrating her 21st birthday. They don't realise that there is an old ritual associated with the maze: an unmarried woman entering it on her 21st birthday becomes a prize for which all the unmarried men in the maze must compete. Naturally, Severus (and Lucius?) is in there. The maze becomes a dangerous three-dimensional labyrinth full of traps and dangers and puzzles, and Hermione is stuck in the middle. Or is she? She's a modern woman and she's not going to settle for all this 'helpless female' rubbish. Plus, what are all the other unmarried witches stuck in there supposed to do? Sit and knit while they wait to become consolation prizes?

I'd love to see clever problems, inventive magic, a really tricky labyrinth, plenty of banter, lots of humour, a bit of angst, some genuine danger, and a happy ending, please! SSHG is free to turn into SSHGLM if the author wishes.

3. For my third prompt, I'm going to ask once again for a country house murder mystery. I think Malfoy Manor is the ideal location, though Hogwarts during the summer holidays might also be good. There's a large cast, a mysterious murder possibly succeeded by others, a dastardly motive, and tea and crumpets on the lawn. Investigators Snape and Granger are on hand as they are on the guest list. Are they Aurors? Unspeakables? Private detectives? Are they partners or rivals? Whatever the working relationship, each holds a long-unrequited love for the other, disguised under many layers of snark.

While they are unravelling the mystery with the help and hindrance (variously) of the other guests, let their romance blossom in a thoroughly English way, please, Mystery Author.

Three art prompts:

1. An illustration from chapter 10 of my story Whom The Gods Annoy (http://thepetulantpoetess.com/viewstory.php?sid=18642&i=1). My preferences would be for Hermione and Severus working in the forge with Hephaestus and Wayland; or the pub garden when the Hell's Angels come to join them; or, naturally, the great gates of Hogwarts. I think all of these scenes lend themselves to plenty of colour and good use of light.

2. Hermione and Severus in the middle of a fierce argument about some abstruse academic point. Lots of intensity and engagement in their expressions and body language, please, and loads of detail in the lab/office setting.

3. Portraits of Hermione and Severus in ancient Egyptian style – Hermione like the bust of Nefertiti (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=nefertiti+bust&hl=en&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=b5CrT92pLOGS0QWt9uH_Aw&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CC8Q_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=514) and Severus reminscent of the statues of Akhenaten (http://www.ancient-egypt.co.uk/cairo%20museum/cm,%20akhenaten/pages/akhenaten.htm).

What genre/theme/content would you absolutely refuse to write / draw / create? Anything to do with non-consensual sex or extreme violence; anything very angsty or miserable; extreme kink of any kind; dark!fic; OOC Severus and/or Hermione; doormat!Hermione; cruel!Severus; fetish; PWP; death!fic

What genre/theme/content would you absolutely NOT want to receive? Anything to do with non-consensual sex or extreme violence; anything very angsty or miserable; extreme kink of any kind; dark!fic; OOC Severus and/or Hermione; doormat!Hermione; cruel!Severus; fetish; PWP; death!fic

Do you have a strong preference to be assigned a particular genre, theme and/or content? I can write: humour, romance, a wee drop of angst maybe, witty dialogue, clever plot, intelligent characters, a bit of smut is fine but I don't want my gift - either the one I produce or the one I receive - to be smut-driven. I'm willing to be stretched, as long as my squicks aren't touched.

Do you have a strong preference to receive a particular genre, theme and/or content? I love to read: humour, romance, a wee drop of angst maybe, witty dialogue, clever plot, intelligent characters, a bit of smut is fine but I don't want my gift - either the one I produce or the one I receive - to be smut-driven. I'm willing to be stretched, as long as my squicks aren't touched.

Are you willing to create a back-up gift if someone drops out? Yes.

Are you an Exchange Newbie?: Not a newbie.

Any other information you think the Mods should know? Just that I love them for doing this.

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/477671.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Local elections

2012-04-30T09:38:15Z

On Thursday we will be having our local elections. I'm very excited about this, as we were out of the country long enough to become disenfranchised, and now we have our vote back.

I consider it my duty and privilege to use my vote, even if I vote for a party that won't get elected. Who knows - my one vote might tip the balance one day.

I am miffed, therefore, that whichever parties are standing for election in this area, most are completely indifferent to the people who might support them. Campaigning in this area amounts to precisely one leaflet, this being from the Conservatives (I wouldn't be surprised if this area is staunchly Tory) and containing at least one lie. Anyone else out there? Labour? LibDems? Greens? Independents? *listens* *wind blows, tumbleweed rolls past*

Not impressed. How can I vote for someone who can't be arsed to tell me what their party's local policies are?

This entry was originally posted at http://dickgloucester.dreamwidth.org/475303.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Santander banking

2011-08-17T17:52:35Z

Our joint bank account is the one originally opened by Mr D with the National Girobank (the Post Office) when he was 16. Some years ago, the Girobank was sold to Alliance and Leicester and things went on much as usual. Recently, the Spanish concern known as [expletives deleted] Santander moved in on the British market and hoovered up various concerns, among them Alliance and Leicester.

This was not a good day for anyone. Well, perhaps the fatcat board of Santander, but nobody else.

Back in June, I had problems with them when I was trying to pay the deposit on the house we have just bought. I found I couldn't do an electronic transfer of the amount required as it was too large. So I rang the bank.

This in itself is no easy task, because unless you do their crap telephone banking, you cannot jump through the hoops required to talk to someone. The only way to talk to a person is to use the number for general enquiries made by someone who is not privileged to be a customer of Santander. *holds up sarcasm sign*

Then there are the usual security question hoops blah blah blah.

So, the potted history of trying to transfer a lot of money in June: can't do it via internet (then what the fuck use is the internet banking 'service'?); can do it via telephone if they then call you back to confirm; ah - they can't do a call-back if some wanker hasn't written down your phone number properly; so you have to send a fax (who has a bloody fax machine at home?) with instructions, a call-back number, and photocopies of your passport and both sides of debit card; of course, it would be helpful if the bank's security service gave you a correct fax number as well as not lying about how long it takes for the money to go through; so you jump through the hoops on the phone to get a valid fax number and send everything again, only to find this number is as valid as the first; so you telephone (hoops blah blah blah) and are told that if you do it again to fax number #3 (fairy tale) it will go through in oooh about 4 days if they can be bothered. So you send a cheque, which is cashed without question. So much for modern technology and shiny modern wbanking methods.

We scroll forward in time to the now, and purchasing a car:

We have put down £500 as a holding fee on the car. Now we have to pay £7060.95 to bring it up to the pay-half, do the rest in installments level.

I telephone (hoops blah blah blah) the wbank to make them aware that I wish to spend an unconscionable amount of money on my card on Saturday. Oooh, they say (after security hoops blah blah blah), we don't really do preparation for things like that as such, but if you just make the payment on the day, we'll do a call-back and it'll go through. ALARM BELLS Ah, say I. And what number will you be calling at? Sure enough, the correct version of my French mobile number is not in their system, and it's a waste of time calling me at the MIL's. Well, say I, I will do it by electronic transfer, then. I can transfer up to ten thousand - right? Yes, says the [expletives deleted] wbanker. So I go ahead and do the transfer. The money goes out of our account.

I also take the opportunity to refresh our telephone numbers and address.

This morning I check the account again and find that while the new telephone numbers are there, the new address is not. I decide that I am not pleased with their continued inefficiency. I ring the complaints line. I am cool in my approach. They tell me that although I am looking at correct numbers on the internet, they are not - on the wbank's own computers. I tell them to correct their records and they do. They tell me it takes 48 hours for the address to change in the records. I tell them this is rubbish. They grovel and give me £35.

My MIL calls after lunch and says the bank called and want me to call them back on 0844 800 9000. I call the number. Effing telephone wbanking hoops. I decide to check the internet banking site to see if there is any trace of what is going on. I discover that I have been blocked. I see red and call the complaints hotline.

This is my money and they are not allowing me to use it. In my book this is theft.

I jump through the telephone and security hoops. I demand that my internet banking is reinstated. They unblock me. I ask what is going on. They whine. I say why didn't they call me on the numbers I have given them? Oh, they say, numbers have to be registered for over 30 days before they can be used for security purposes. I have moved house, I say for the umpteenth time - I have changed numbers. They repeat themselves in the apparent hope that they will sound less stupid a second time. I say: Oh, so it's really secure trying to talk to someone at a place I no longer live about my finances, I suppose? *sarcasm sign* I get another iteration. I snarl. They put me through to the security department.

Security dept make me jump through All The Hoops again and repeat the whole thing. Again. They say the payment, despite the fact the money has gone from my account, has not been made, and that the money will be back in 48 hours. In the meantime, I am to try to make the payment again. That is not good enough, I say. How am I to believe that the money will actually get back into my account? It just will, they say. This is the Way We Do Things. And when you make the payment again we will call you at ... I snarl. You will call me at a place I no longer live? Very secure, O Security Specialist. Oh, they say. Well, make the payment again and you will have no problems. I withhold belief but the conversation is fast becoming circular. I ask to be put through to whomever can deal with changes of address.

I speak to someone with a strong Indian accent who is polite but struggles both to understand or to make himself understood. It takes ten minutes to spell out my address, and even then I refresh the internet page - still open - many times before the new address (correct enough) appears. I ask to be transferred back to complaints.

Hoops blah blah blah.

Gormless girl doesn't want to answer me until I tell her whether it is a "level 1" or "level 2" complaint. I tell her I have no idea what that means and that I am on the same call as I had started 40 minutes before. She transfers me.

Hoops blah blah blah. I ask myself why they always ask the same questions. Surely if someone overheard my answers they could have stolen my identity by now. Ooooh, wbank security. *sarcasm sign*

Speak to a bloke. He makes various calls to various people to find out what the hell's been going on, during each of which I am obliged to listen to motivational music which, I refrain from telling him, motivates me more to violence than anything they might consider more constructive. It turns out that the security guy was misguided/lied when he told me I would be able to make the payment without a call-back to a number which is no longer valid. I point out - again - that I have just moved house and number. Am I to be denied use of MY money until I have waited 30 days? He repeats the things I have already heard dozens of times. "How am I to make the payment to get my car, then?" I enquire. I am to go into a branch (using, I assume, the mode of transport I do not yet possess) and do it. The money will then be transferred in 3 working days. This is not good enough, I say. I am informed that I can make a next-day transfer, but this costs £25. I see red(der). Then give me the £25, I say. He gives me the £25.

I ask about the certainty of my £7060.95p returning to my account. Oooh definitely, he says, within 48 hours. And where, I ask, will my money be during these 48 hours? And how can I be certain it will be given back to me? He says he will call me when the money is repaid. (Yeah, like I believe that one.) And in the meantime, I say, Santander is using my £7060.95p to earn interest for itself. I want that interest, I say. He wriggles and hums. I want that interest, I say. Finally he says that the wbank will discuss with me what I think is proper compensation when I receive my money.

I am getting to the point of explosion. I tell him that Santander will be losing our custom as a direct result of their shoddy and inefficient handling of my affairs. He gives the standard "I'm sorry you feel that way" response. What a banker, I think to myself. I tell him I appreciate it is not easy to deal with angry customers and thank him for his time - I will at all costs retain the moral high ground.

... Aaaaand whaddya know? They've blocked my internet access again. WBankers.

EDIT: I have made this post public, in the probably vain hope that it shows up in some google searches.

When publishers don't spend money on competent proofreaders

2011-05-31T07:21:13Z

Just started reading the first of the Chicagoland Vampires series.

It starts engagingly.

However:

p. 26 - apparently one can "pour through" a book. Either "paw through" - unlikely in context - or "pore over" please.

p. 30 - apparently Elgar wrote "The Lark Ascending". Silly me - I thought it was Vaughan Williams.

I'm only on page 30 ...

UPDATES:

p. 58: "he clucked me beneath the chin" (Master Vampire has been supping on chicken blood?) More chin-clucking p. 221.

p. 89: apparently the heroine can have her arse (ass, sorry) stared at while she's sitting in a chair. My mistake - she jumped up to pace while she thought. I am beginning to skip bits, it's soooo riveting.

p. 126: over 1/3 of the way through. Shouldn't I be engaged by now? Shouldn't I care about the characters, be intrigued by what is happening? I am in two minds about whether to continue or not.

p. 151: "... he turned to me and lifted my hands around his neck, put his hands at my hips, and moved in perfect syncopation to the music." Hmmmm. Not so sure I'd want to dance with someone who moved in syncopation to the music. Mr Dicky's a bad enough dancer as it is, without that.

P. 159: "I finished brushing, splashed a little water in my mouth, and spit." Last time I looked, the past tense of "to spit" was "spat". Perhaps in some dialects it's different, but this is supposed to be an Eng Lit grad student.

p. 179: '"I don't feel a day over seventy-one." "A spritely seventy-one." "A spritely seventy-one," he agreed. ' Well, I certainly don't agree with that spelling of sprightly.

p. 180: "We justify it by saying its necessary to protect ourselves." Missing apostrophe, much?

p. 234: "I exist to give you orders. If you question those order, you'll find your ass on the floor." Aside from the donkey-abuse, there's a missing 's' here.

Update Wednesday:

p. 256: "wondering how and when Mallory'd had a chance to see Catcher prophesizing." prophesizing"?! Dude. Seriously. The word is "prophesying".

p. 302: "Standing perpendicular to Ethan was a tall, dark-haired man ..." [my italics] I'm having a little difficulty visualising this one. However, Mr D has come to my rescue, informing me that this is perfectly normal for vampires. So, apparently, this uber-cool dark-haired vampire is floating horizontally - or maybe lying on the floor. And this is cool. Because he's a vampire. Or something.

p. 323: ' "'No reneging.' 'I don't reneg.'" No, dear, I'm sure you don't. Whatever it is. [my italics again]

I am sure there are more to be found, but really, I galloped to the end.

Synopsis: Hyper-beautiful but nevertheless down-to-earth medieval lit grad student, disaffected daughter of rich and powerful man, rejecter of all notions of power, money, influence and fashion, gets vampired against her will (it was to like save her life, dude), thus reluctantly becoming a member of a vampire clan to whom nothing is more important than power, money, influence, and - first and foremost - fashion. Head vamp is hot. Wow, bet you weren't expecting that. Heroine turns out to be mysteriously ace at weapons and accedes to cool leather outfit. Cool leather outfit seems to make all sense of independent thinking dribble out of the bottom of heroine's skull.

I think there may have been a murder mystery in there somewhere.

So, my avid readers, go out and grab the first copy of "Some Girls Bite" by Chloe Neill. There's a copy in my bin. Collection's not until Friday evening.

Now I am going to have a bucket of wine.

A few recs

2010-02-08T20:05:50Z

Okay, before we find out who wrote what in Severus Shorts (though I have my suspicions in one or two cases), here's a couple of recs.

"No Room For The Weak" is an impressive tale centring on Eileen. It's a bitter, conflicted Eileen here, very hard, but capable of love thought she doesn't seem to want to be. I was impressed. http://community.livejournal.com/severus_shorts/16917.html

"A Rowan In Winter". Wow. I don't want to spoil your enjoyment of this tale by telling you about it - just go and read. The creation of place and atmosphere is extraordinary. The writing is stunning. The ideas behind Severus' family and their magic are intriguing. I wish this story were 600 pages long. If the author ever wants to expand it, I will be a happy reader. http://community.livejournal.com/severus_shorts/13205.html

And two wonderful tearjerkers:

"A Glorious Future" http://community.livejournal.com/severus_shorts/16131.html - Severus, shortly before he goes to Hogwarts, dreams of everything his future will be. This is so poignant.

and from the Severus Big Bang:

"Rosemary" by Annietalbot. http://severusb4.livejournal.com/58913.html I suppose if Severus had to die, then this is the send-off he deserves. *weeps* I challenge you to read it and not cry.

Gift for Droxy

2010-01-28T10:56:21Z

Dear Droxy, here's a small gift for you on your birthday. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope very much that this coming year brings you success in all you turn your hand to, and enough leisure time to enjoy it. *hugs*

Title: "Watching"
Author: duh
Warnings: cat!fic
Characters: Crookshanks, Severus, Hermione

The first years of exile were peaceful. He continued to observe closely, as had been his habit since he'd first realised that forewarned is forearmed, but he didn't let anyone know he was still around. It was refreshing to be the object of neither remark nor regard.

In himself, he felt better than he had in years. True, his neck itched from the bite, but that was a minor inconvenience – nothing that a good scratch couldn't deal with. And of course, with nobody looking at him, he could indulge in a good scratch whenever he liked.

He watched.

He watched their grief and elation fade.

He watched Potter and his shadow leave for the Aurory.

He watched Granger doggedly complete her studies and depart.

He watched Minerva become the best Head that Hogwarts had ever had.

He watched his world settle down into its customary patterns, a little chastened but otherwise unchanged.

He kept mostly to his quarters, but still, he knew what went on. He supposed he should be grateful that the settling of the castle's foundations had rendered his part of the dungeons apparently inaccessible. Filius and the others had long given up trying to shift the huge blocks of stone. It was peaceful, and calm, and free of children. Once one had the knack of getting in and out, it was, in fact, the best of all places to be. Positively cosy.

For a few years, he was the only one who had that knack.

Then Granger's scraggy old cat showed up.

She had returned to the school to teach, still bossy, still book-obsessed, still single. No Weasley brats for her, then. Ah, yes. A few months after her return, the Prophet carried photos of Weasley's marriage to Pansy Parkinson, of all people. Granger wasn't featured in the photos of the wedding guests. It didn't seem to trouble her.

He kept up his observations, unseen, as he thought, until one day the cat showed up in his living room, curled on the chair where he had been intending to spend the evening immersed in a book. He removed the ugly brute, noting that it seemed to have regained weight and condition, and sat down. Two minutes later, it was back, acting as though his lap was its property. He continued to read while he teased the knots out of its fur.

Granger missed her cat, that much was evident.

She never got herself another, though she kept the orange demon's bed and bowls in her room.

He told the animal it ought to go back, show itself to her, but it remained pressed against his ankles, watching, like him, from the shadows as she mourned and recovered and grew older, settling into her position at the school and progressing inevitably to the headship that awaited her.

He and the cat continued in their comfortable way. A deep armchair, a cheerful fire, books to read, a little undemanding companionship ... That was all that either of them needed in their bachelor existence. Though if they did spend increasing amounts of time silently observing Granger, who seemed to live as separately from the world as they, well, that was just curiosity and fellow-feeling.

He thought sometimes that she might be aware of their scrutiny.

Now and again, her eyes would fix on the shadows they inhabited, and she would tuck that stray curl of hair behind her ear and smile gently before turning back to her work.

He and the cat stayed clear of all the shenanigans following her departure. There was simply too much noise and activity. How they would continue without her, though, was a question he addressed in a lengthy and one-sided conversation over several days, the cat's only contribution being to blink at him and demand to have its head rubbed.

Eventually, he found the castle too confining. He slipped out unnoticed and crossed the lawns, heading down towards the forest path, its borders star-strewn with wood anemones. Nobody else was on the grounds at this early hour, so he was surprised when he turned to look back at the source of a sudden burst of birdsong and saw her following him down the path, her cat trotting at her heels.

He let her catch up.

She smiled widely at him. There were a few wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, but her hair was free of the grey that had marred it for decades, and she had abandoned her cane. She was barefoot, and her hair bounced around her shoulders.

“You took your time,” he said. “I've been through the entire library twice.”

“I had a few things to finish.”

She took his hand, and they followed the cat through the trees to a sun-drenched clearing.

OWL awards - where I'm eligible

2010-01-04T09:59:38Z

Under the cut to spare your fpage. It seems I have dribbled many drabbles in 2009! Don't be put off by that - there are some series, particularly, of which I am very proud, particularly Crooked, A is for and Fated. Plus, there's last year's exchange story A Taxing Affair, and my one and only PWP, Rite of Passage.

Is that enough shameless self-promotion?! LOL. Please, flisters who are eligible, post lists of your fics - it made things so much easier in the sshg awards.

Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: Drama?
Special: Drabble series

A is for (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 626] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Drama, Romance
Published: 12-15-2009 • Updated: 12-15-2009 • Chapters: 26 • Words: 2605 • Reads: 3280 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Hermione is Slughorn's heir, though she doesn't know why. As she catalogues the contents of his store rooms, she is reminded of her former Potions master, Severus Snape. A series of 26 100-word drabbles (word count as per my word processor). Usual disclaimers.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: Humour, drama, romance
Special: Drabble series

A Mote of You (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 23] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Granger/Snape 100, Romance, Snapshot/Drabble
Published: 10-02-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 706 • Reads: 218 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Never let George Weasley near the kitchen. Especially not when punch is being made for a wedding. A drabble series originally written for GS100 - the challenge was "One not like the others" - in April 2009. Usual disclaimers about ownership of characters, Potterverse, etc. But the story is mine.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: Humour, drama, romance
Special: ???

A Taxing Affair (M) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 78] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Lucius, Snape
Genres: Drama, Humour, Romance, SSHG Exchange • Warnings: Adult Content, Language
Published: 05-04-2009 • Updated: 06-04-2009 • Chapters: 12 • Words: 43747 • Reads: 2975 • Completed: Yes

Summary: The Prime Minister needs money. It strikes him that he knows where there may be some to be found. Severus and Hermione join forces to thwart him and to protect Lucius Malfoy, who has the most to lose.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: ???
Special: Drabble series

Crooked (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 29] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Granger/Snape 100
Published: 07-28-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 788 • Reads: 172 • Completed: Yes

Summary: An old English nursery rhyme tells a story. 8 x 100 words.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres:
Special: Drabble

Drawn from Life (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 26] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Granger/Snape 100
Published: 08-28-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 102 • Reads: 146 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Who is the Guardian's new cartoonist?

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: Humour
Special: Drabble series

Entertaining the Elderly (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 23] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Lucius, Snape
Genres: Humour, Snape/Granger 100
Published: 04-28-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 200 • Reads: 302 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Imagine three rather difficult residents in a wizarding retirement home... A double drabble. Usual disclaimers.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres:
Special:Drabble

Etiquette (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 27] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Ron, Snape
Genres: Granger/Snape 100, Snapshot/Drabble
Published: 09-27-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 100 • Reads: 164 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Ron proves he is capable of learning, but all to no avail. Written for the "Not a gentleman" challenge on grangersnape100.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: angst, drama, hurt/comfort?
Special:Drabble series,

Fated (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 67] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Angst, Challenge: 100 words, Granger/Snape 100, Snapshot/Drabble
Published: 02-08-2009 • Updated: 02-08-2009 • Chapters: 3 • Words: 303 • Reads: 918 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Life has been too much for Severus. A/N: usual disclaimers - characters not mine; I make no money from this.

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category: COMMON ROOM
Genres:
Special: PWP

Rite of Passage (M) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 9] [Nominate]
Category: The Common Room (General Fic) • Characters: Ginny, Hagrid
Genres: PWP • Warnings: Adult Content, Graphic Sexuality
Published: 11-24-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 3184 • Reads: 132 • Completed: Yes

Summary: There's a tradition at Hogwarts, and it's Ginny Weasley's turn to experience it. Dear readers, this is my first ever PWP - it bucks the general trend of my writing so far, but the bunny bit, and bit hard. I hope you enjoy it.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres:
Special: Drabble

Severus Says Hello (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 22] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Granger/Snape 100
Published: 11-02-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 100 • Reads: 230 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Severus greets his firstborn. A drabble written for Sc010f on the birth of her baby. Usual disclaimers - the characters belong the JK Rowling.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres: Humour
Special:

The Alphabet According To Severus Snape (G) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 14] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Humour
Published: 12-21-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 586 • Reads: 223 • Completed: Yes

Summary: A brief interlude in the life of Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. Forgive me, gentle readers - I have a small child and a mountain of alphabet books at home.

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Category: FIRE AND ICE
Genres:
Special: Drabble series

The Valentine's Journal (PG) by richardgloucester [Reviews: 34] [Nominate]
Category: Fire & Ice (HG/SS) • Characters: Hermione, Snape
Genres: Snape/Granger 100
Published: 04-28-2009 • Chapters: 1 • Words: 600 • Reads: 446 • Completed: Yes

Summary: Hermione keeps a record of some mysterious gifts she receives on successive Valentine's days.

SSHG awards - my eligible stories

2009-10-02T06:43:28Z

I hope I've got this right. I don't seem to have been mightily productive this year. Roll on, the Severus Big Bang!

Here's the nominations post: http://community.livejournal.com/sshg_awards/27347.html

I write as RichardGloucester

CALMING DRAUGHT (novel-length); EUPHORIA ELIXIR (humour); DRAUGHT OF PEACE (fluff); SCINTILLATING SOLUTION (drama); romance category, too, maybe?

A Taxing Affair 43747 wds http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=9109

My exchange fic, winter 2008/9. In which Hermione and Severus, working as the powers behind the thrones of the wizarding and Muggle worlds, find themselves cooperating to protect Lucius Malfoy's fortune from the Muggle Prime Minister. Romance and shenanigans ensue.

HICCUPPING SOLUTION (drabble series); EUPHORIA ELIXIR (humour)
Entertaining the Elderly 200 wds http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=9062
In which Hermione, Severus and Lucius refuse to go quietly into that good night. They have much more fun being disruptive.

HICCUPPING SOLUTION (drabble series); SCINTILLATING SOLUTION (drama); AGITATION ELIXIR (angst)
Fated 300 wds http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=8614
Three parts - Severus takes a potion and Hermione grieves.

HICCUPPING SOLUTION (drabble series); ??EUPHORIA ELIXIR (humour)
The Valentine's Journal 600 wds http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=9061
Over several years, Hermione receives a series of enigmatic and suggestive gifts...

HICCUPPING SOLUTION (drabble series); AGITATION ELIXIR (angst)
Who Mourns For Black? 500 wds http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=7415
Sirius Black proves less of a hero than Harry would have everyone believe. Hermione finds a silent protector in Severus.

HICCUPPING SOLUTION (drabble series);
A Mote of You 700 wds http://community.livejournal.com/badgerfics/8447.html
Originally for GS100 in April 2009. I'd forgotten this. A potions accident at Harry's wedding puts Severus in an awkward position, but Hermione is there to help.

SHRINKING SOLUTION (drabble); EUPHORIA ELIXIR (humour)
Pretty Baubles 100 wds http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=8288
The Snape approach to decorating trees.

********

I'm not at all sure if this is eligible for any categories. Started posting before the time period; updated during; horribly unfinished. But the nearest I have to Mrs Scower's...

Lady Ellhorn lots of words, incomplete http://owl.tauri.org/stories.php?psid=7001

Published: 04-30-2008 • Updated: 03-24-2009 A sequel to "A Fresh Start" complete with wand lore.