life update
So; this is an update on my condition, just so everyone is aware of what's happening!
I am (apparently) suffering from some pretty damn severe anxiety. I'm not sure where it came from or what triggered it, but starting from about noon on the 13th and ending just now, I've been having on/off panic attacks (four major ones, with tons of little ones in between), where my brain just decides to try and shut off; I got extremely dizzy and lightheaded, I was scared of everything for no reason at all (sometimes I didn't even know why I was scared, I just was), my chest felt like it was filled with water, I had chills, I was shaking like a leaf in a tornado, and I constantly felt like I was going to puke. I was so confused by everything, and nothing was helping, and everytime I tried to convince myself to calm down and that I'll be okay, I began to get physical -- I started raising my voice at myself and rocking my chair and tearing at the chair's arms, and I think I punched the car once. I don't really remember. I was afraid of falling asleep, because I felt like I was going to die if I did (but I've gotten sleep since then, don't worry!), and I'm not sure why, but the only thing that got me to calm down and feel normal again was taking a walk or doing something really physical and that takes my mind off of things. I walked for miles over the past few days, I played with one of Rooj's big dogs, and as long as I was moving vigorously and distracted enough, my mind was taken off of it.
The instant I stopped, it all came right back. I had to start pacing around the room and the house and on the porch to fend it off, and even though I was dead tired, I had walked around town a couple times.
So that is what happened!
Since then, I've been to the emergency room -- they had me hooked up to some kind of monitor for a while, and I'm physically healthy. A lot healthier than me and my mom expected, even! I've got a perfect blood pressure and heart rate for someone my age and height, and we both thought for sure it'd be worse. XD
They gave me something heavy to help me sleep, and I slept for a long time. I woke up once in a while, but otherwise I slept just fine.
And I know what to do if I start panicking again, so no worries about that, either!
I might be gone on monday since mom is taking me to the doctor to get a prescription for this, and hopefully it'll help and I'll be able to return to my games, fff. As it is, drawing is a hassle. XD;
I am (apparently) suffering from some pretty damn severe anxiety. I'm not sure where it came from or what triggered it, but starting from about noon on the 13th and ending just now, I've been having on/off panic attacks (four major ones, with tons of little ones in between), where my brain just decides to try and shut off; I got extremely dizzy and lightheaded, I was scared of everything for no reason at all (sometimes I didn't even know why I was scared, I just was), my chest felt like it was filled with water, I had chills, I was shaking like a leaf in a tornado, and I constantly felt like I was going to puke. I was so confused by everything, and nothing was helping, and everytime I tried to convince myself to calm down and that I'll be okay, I began to get physical -- I started raising my voice at myself and rocking my chair and tearing at the chair's arms, and I think I punched the car once. I don't really remember. I was afraid of falling asleep, because I felt like I was going to die if I did (but I've gotten sleep since then, don't worry!), and I'm not sure why, but the only thing that got me to calm down and feel normal again was taking a walk or doing something really physical and that takes my mind off of things. I walked for miles over the past few days, I played with one of Rooj's big dogs, and as long as I was moving vigorously and distracted enough, my mind was taken off of it.
The instant I stopped, it all came right back. I had to start pacing around the room and the house and on the porch to fend it off, and even though I was dead tired, I had walked around town a couple times.
So that is what happened!
Since then, I've been to the emergency room -- they had me hooked up to some kind of monitor for a while, and I'm physically healthy. A lot healthier than me and my mom expected, even! I've got a perfect blood pressure and heart rate for someone my age and height, and we both thought for sure it'd be worse. XD
They gave me something heavy to help me sleep, and I slept for a long time. I woke up once in a while, but otherwise I slept just fine.
And I know what to do if I start panicking again, so no worries about that, either!
I might be gone on monday since mom is taking me to the doctor to get a prescription for this, and hopefully it'll help and I'll be able to return to my games, fff. As it is, drawing is a hassle. XD;