You know how the bathroom at a party is the one place you can escape? I fixed that. PISSPOOPS is an interactive bathroom installation. A tablet sits at eye level in front of the toilet. When you walk in, it asks you a simple question: are you peeing, or pooping? If you're peeing, it tells you where the flush is (more on that in a second) and lets you leave in peace. If you're pooping, it asks if you'd like to play a game. You don't get to say no. After a short video, you're asked to state your name for the record. Then the interrogation begins. People waiting outside can submit questions to you via a live web interface. If nobody's submitted anything, the toilet asks you embarrassing questions on its own. You answer out loud — your speech is transcribed in real time and displayed on a screen outside the bathroom door for everyone in line to read. You have to answer a minimum of 3 questions before the flush is "unlocked." The flush handle on the side of the toilet is 3D printed and fake. The real flush button is hidden under a 3D printed cover on top of the tank. You only find out where it is after you've completed the protocol. The outside screen shows who's in there (by name), how long they've been in there, what question they're currently being asked, and their live answer. There's also a public log page that archives every session — every question, every answer, every name, every duration — as a permanent record of bathroom interrogations.

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