[OOC] Application for Kannagara [CUT]
PLAYER INFO
Name/Nickname: Dem
Age: 19
Journal: http://dementiamorphea.livejournal.com/
AIM/MSN/IM: - ; Plurk: DemDerp; Skype: dementia-m
Email: deme-chan@hotmail.com
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The application was too long to be contained in one post. You can read its full version here.
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CHARACTER INFO
Character Name: Gilbert Nightray, „Raven“, „Gil“
Canon: Pandora Hearts
Point taken from canon: Let's say right before the Isla Yura party horrors, after chapter 48 - with potential for canon update later on.
Age: 24. ...Ahahahahaha. I just realized that this series is no less fucked up than DGM in this sense. Anyway, right now Gil looks (and biologically IS) 24. He is 14 at his first appearance in the manga, however – here starts the madness! - due to a timewarp caused by the Abyss and the Tragedy of Sablier, he is also actually a 9-years-old kid from 100 years ago, what makes him, chronologically, 109. If we don't count the time absence, during which time doesn't flow anyway, then yup, we can safely say he's now simply 24.
Gender: Male.
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Appearance:
Gilbert has golden-yellow eyes and black wavy, apparently hard to tame hair (which even earns him the nickname „Seaweed Head“ from Alice). His height is 182 cm (around 5.9 ft), his build is quite slender (he was really tiny when he was a kid/teen) and his skin rather pale. He has a scar tracing from his left shoulder across his chest, left from the time when Oz accidentally slashed him with a sword while he covered who later turned out to have been Zai, Oz's dad. He also wears a sort of earrings (the kind that wraps around the side of ear without it being pierced or anything of the like). Plainly, he is generally considered rather good-looking.
He is said to always wear black and therefore looks quite monochromatic; his most common clothing includes black pants, black shoes, a white fancy-ish shirt (often with a scarf), a long black coat that reaches down to his knees (or a bit below) with what looks like long ends of a belt hanging from the back, a pair of usually white gloves and a black hat (like a low top hat, of sorts) which he is extremely protective of since it was Ada's gift (in front of strangers he was shown to claim it was given by his brother). He also has a gunholster strapped to his thigh, and always carries a revolver, often two, with him.
In the so called social gatherings, or nobility parties, he wears more formal clothing, including buttoned-up jacket (with the Nightray crest, I think, since Elliot's and Vincent's look very similar unlike others') and a sort of a shawl common among the nobility. Also, on such occasions, his usually somewhat wild hair is kept tied into a considerably short, low ponytail, which is held together by a ribbon, also similarly to his brother's.
Grown up Gilbert is rarely seen smiling, although his common sullen face when in public can be explained by him simply being scared of people rather than trying to keep up some sort of appearances. His default expression seems to be a sort of a light frown; he also often looks irritated or sad, even pitiful or suffering (well, he kind of is everyone's bitch) - though, in fact, his facial expressions are quite various and different, grading from your usual bitter-angry-scowl to horrified, flaily or plainly embarrassed. He can also often be seen smoking, and that is usually accompanied by an expression that looks like he's deep in thought while in reality he's most likely trying to calm himself.
His movements are usually considerably swift, fast if needed, but it will turn sharp and flaily when he's frustrated. He can be quite clumsy at times, that's possibly a relic from his childhood; but in dangerous situations his reflexes seem to work perfectly and not cause any trouble. He can seem somewhat shrunken when presented with attention, and generally doesn't suceed in hiding it if he's feeling uncomfortable. When irritated, with the rather firm walk, bitter look and the long black coat waving behind him, his form can actually be related to that of his chain's namesake, the Crow (Raven).
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Background:
-SNIP- due to size. You can find it in the full version, please.
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Personality:
Young Gilbert is mostly shown as sweet and kind but very quick to panic, flail and even break into tears. He often looks scared, seems to care a lot about what is 'proper' and not, and tries his best to be a good servant. Somewhat shy and quick to start stuttering when yelled at, and tear up at the tiniest things, he was most commonly regarded as a crybaby.
He appears to have changed quite a lot during the following ten years, but in reality he didn't change all that much, still keeping a lot of his older personality traits and reverting completely to his child self when drunk. He just seems to be better at keeping it all below the surface and, of course, growing up doing dirty underground work can make one be not all that open or friendly to people.
From the first glance, Gilbert is quiet and distant, even cold, however for the most cases, it is caused by his discomfort around people rather than intentional jerkassness. You could say he's actually afraid of people, feeling uncomfortable in social gatherings and often starting to stutter if he has to speak in front of others. While it is true that he can be cold or even cruel to people, it is only as long as he doesn't really know them – unless he's in his Psycho mode, when everyone except Master are likely to meet gruesome end.
He is quite impatient and quick to lose his temper, though it doesn't necessarily always end in him being angry; while he is definitely easily irritated, it takes quite more for him to resort to physical violence unlike most quickly annoyed characters, and - his loss of coolness might also be due to spazz trigger than getting angry. He is also quick to panic or freak out due to this. There are all too many things to be said or done than can send him flailing around losing his almost-stoic face in an instant; some of those include 'improper' things (such as hearing Oz and Alice have 'already kissed'), bullying (such as Break sending him to the kitchen while strangling Emily for visual encouragement – to what he gets a little revenge by making coffee instead of tea, petty as it is), or anything relating to his hat (such as losing it).
At the same time, Gilbert is a bit of a pushover, it sort of being a running gag in the series itself. Everyone and their mother are capable of bullying him, starting with cats and finishing with sending him 'back to the kitchen'. His little adoptive brother constantly rejects or lectures him, his master loves pulling pranks on him, his brother seems perfectly capable of manipulating him, and so on. If there is someone that can be branded as 'everyone's bitch' in Pandora Hearts cast, it is most likely Gilbert.
Generally, Gilbert's mindset seems to be that of a servant. Even after becoming a noble, he still appears to hold himself lesser than others, at times easily intimidated by, for example, Elliot, his youngest sibling. He acts obedient even when it's not really needed. It was made very noticeable throughout the series that Gilbert needs a master, as he sees serving as his main reason to live, possibly due to the childhood brainwash. He himself has adressed it as a 'place to belong', and even during the ten years that Oz was gone, he was doing everything for his sake in hopes of getting him back. He needs to be needed very much, and that is likely why he puts up with Vincent's creepy-ish clingyness most of the time; it's a reassurement that he's necessary for someone. That is also why he is so protective of his masters at whichever time; they are what allow him to feel needed and therefore he will protect them with his life, as a reassurance of his existence. It would appear he simply needs to live for someone else, otherwise he would break apart.
Gilbert is also very loyal, to the point of obsession sometimes; he never betrays Oz and feels horrible after exchanging the Vessalius household for Nightrays' after Oz is gone. During the ten years, he never abandons his original reasons for doing what he does, and when Oz gets back, asks to be accepted as his servant again. His obsession with the hat that Ada had gave him can be seen as a form of loyalty getting ridiculous; he appears to think of losing it as a betrayal to Vessalius' kindness. He also displays loyalty towards Break, who returned him hope ten years ago and made him his subordinate; while several times he openly insists he hates him, he still participates in his schemes and goes to help him when it is needed, most notable instance being the current claim of being his left eye after entering the fight scene.
Gilbert seems to constantly fear doing something wrong and continuously berates himself, thinking he's a horrible person for leaving the Vessalius household, later feeling guilty for staying away from the Nightrays', all of that summing up into one ugly case of self-loathing. At first, he doesn't think he's even worth talking to Oz or Oscar anymore, luckily, they smack that opinion out of him later on. An example of this can also be seen even in his childhood; he detests himself for wanting to abandon Vincent a few times, recognizing that as despicable behavior, even if he doesn't actually do it. Even when wanting to help someone, he seems to somewhat doubt his ability to do it, especially if it's some sort of verbal comfort. It is also possible that he wears that much black because he sees himself as a bad, 'dark' person as well; then again it's also possible that it makes him more unnoticeable, and he definitely doesn't want any attention ever.
He is also kind at heart, though of course there are exceptions; while he has learned to effectively close it off and kill people whenever the situation demands it, he seems reluctant to do any harm unless it's completely unavoidable. He doesn't exactly get attached to people too easily, but when he does, he will often try to protect them instead, though of course master always remains the first priority. He seems to be in fact terrified of his blackouts when he seems to be capable of killing just about anyone, as that is something he doesn't see as himself at all. His kindness sometimes cause him inner conflicts, for example when it concerns Alice (he hates her for contracting Oz, but while in his right mind he can't harm her as she's almost become a friend), or even Zai (he positively wants to kill him, but.. OZ WOULD BE SAD. :( Can not do something like that). Of course, it doesn't help with his general self-esteem at all.
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Abilities/Strengths:
Most important first; is cooking an ability? Yes it is! Gilbert is an excellent cook, surpassing countless desperate housewives with his skills of preparing food. Despite of that, he doesn't seem to like doing that very much and, unless it's Oz, will have to be bullied to get back into the kitchen.
Moving on.
In general aspect, Gilbert can be a rather good fighter; he is a member of a household which deals with underground work (including assassinations) a lot, and was implied to participate in it from relatively young age (possibly around 16). As such, he is also capable of quick thinking and reflexes, managing to make important or even cruel decisions if it's needed, as seen when he shoots the Pandora members after realizing they're being controlled by Zwei. Unless his buttons are pushed, he will be rather level-headed, and, if needed, even cold, like illustrated by the previous example. He also isn't particularly easy to fool, like illustrated when he shoots a fake Alice in Cheshire's place and when he figures out Break's blindness.
Marksmanship would also be a strength of his, as he wields his pistols quickly and accurately. His skills with a revolver apparently are only surpassed by his own younger brother, Vincent.
Finally, Gilbert is a legal contractor of the Chain „Raven“, and that, of course, gives him powers beyond those of a simple mortal. Even though it was implied to be one of the strongest chains, its powers haven't really been showed onscreen yet (it has finally appeared onscreen last chapter; I will update this section when new facts are known); and what we do know about it now includes:
it is the Chain of the Nightray house, and at some point belonger to Glen Baskerville along with Owl, Dodo, Gryphon and Jabberwocky;
it resembles a giant, terrifying crow with a skull for a head, always bound by a multitude of chains and surrounded by, probably, hellfire itself;
it most likely is a lot more powerful than Rufus Barma's Chain Dodo, since it stopped it without ever appearing and in a blink of an eye;
after Raven's power is used, it leaves a multitude of black feathers around;
it has the power of teleportation, though using that puts a lot of strain on the contractor;
its best known ability is the sealing power, that can be used on other Chains. It has been used to seal Alice's, or B-Rabbit's, powers. However it appears that while the seal is active, Raven's other powers can not be used (as it was shown using teleportation temporary breaks the seal);
Raven itself also seems to be able to create scary illusions, like a multitude of scary glowing eyes and manipulating itself into seemingly becoming one with darkness;
Raven's name and concept may be a reference to the monstrous crow from "Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There"; original quote being in a poem about a bird that scared Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum: „Just then flew down a monstrous crow, / As black as a tar-barrel; / Which frightened both the heroes so, / They quite forgot their quarrel.“.
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Weaknesses:
Oh there are quite a few, some more significant than others. I will try to list it here.
CATS. (Also known as felines, whiskered demons and etc.) Gilbert is absolutely terrified of cats, and that doesn't really change no matter what the situation is; his reaction to one varies from panicked flailing to complete freeze-up, often comically illustrated by his soul trying to leave his body while he's being non-responsive.
He is very protective of his hat and will do practically anything for it.
Temper. He can lose it if his buttons are pushed, and that naturally can result in one's guard being let down for a time. He also has too many SPAZZ buttons for his own good.
Loyalty. While it can be seen as a strength, too, he might also be rather narrow-minded when it comes to Oz's well-being, and of course it's a very touchy subject that can be manipulated with by those who know of it as well as used for provocation, which might lead into the activation of Murder Program (look next point).
Being a little fucked up in the head (past and Abyss travel might have something to do with it). Intentional or accidental provocation might lead to him snapping, and then it's not very pretty; he'll recite the needing to kill his master's enemies and possibly try to carry it through unless stopped. During one of such black-outs, he even has the intention to kill people close to him such as Oscar or Ada if needed, and is completely terrified about having had such thoughts once he gets his senses back. It's not impossible for someone to use this for their own purposes.
Well, this is kind of obvious, but despite controlling the Chain's power and other cool things, his body is nothing but simple human, and therefore affected by whatever harm it might be exposed to.
Low drinking capacity, in other words, alcohol. He's got no tolerance at all, a glass of wine enough to make him fall asleep or at least majorly embarrass himself in just a few moments after consuming it.
Willpower; while at certain points he can display it as strength, often he can be affected quite easily. Assumption also supported by how his brainwashing has stayed with him and how he failed to quit smoking. Disproved by when he breaks Zwei's control, though Oz helped a lot with that.
Backlash of Raven's power; using too much of it can result in loss of consciousness afterwards.
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Defining Quote(s):
„I will do whatever it takes to protect my master.“ - Gilbert
„I certainly don't know what will happen tomorrow. But, young master, may I stay by your side, no matter what happens? I know the darkness you carry, and you know the weakness I carry. Even if there is no light, we will still be connected by our shadows. And that's why, no matter how much time passes, no matter how our situations change, I.. I always want to be your servant. I.. don't believe in „forever“. But haven't you ever thought about it, even once? I will never betray you. And I won't let you get hurt. Because, you are my master.“ - young Gilbert to Oz
„I'm not the Gilbert you knew anymore. <...> That's why, you can't treat me the way you used to. I'm not good enough for that!“ - Gilbert to Oz, after his identity was revealed
„I.. still want to be your servant!“ - Gilbert to Oz, as he's forgiven
„Why are you so quiet? “Because you won't want to know the person I am now.“? ... Ah, just as I figured. You're still the same as always... <...> So, ten years have passed. Of course a lot of things happened. But, I can't see what you lost that was so important that you lost yourself, too. You were right there by my side when I opened my eyes. <...> Tell me. Just what isn't you anymore?“ - Oz, after Gilbert's identity is revealed
„Like this... Using hope to constrict hatred, you've lived like this for ten years?“ - Break
„A loyal heart that has been sealed off will become a weapon, and one day it might be what pierces through your precious person.“ - Break
„Even if you lost your memory... Gill is still.. the same as before. So weak... So gentle... And yet so cruel. ..It's okay. From now on, no matter who you kill with your own hands, only I will stand by your side!“ - Vincent
„Are you afraid? Afraid that Oz will keep changing.. and you will be left behind?“ - Break
„You have to respect and love your master and obey him entirely. Only doing so will you have significance as human being, will you have the value of existence. Do not forget this, and bear this in mind.. Think for the master, do your best for the master, kill off every enemy of the master. Kill! Absolute!“ - some brainwashing hag in the old Vessalius household; (later commented on by Break's „These aren't your real thoughts, are they. Who poured these thoughts into you?“)
„The closer he is to those he wants to protect, the weaker he gets.“ - Vincent
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Other:
Durrrr. Well, I believe he really cares a lot about his brother, but that might as well be canon, so... not much extras, really. All I said before is somehwat affected by headcanon, after all. Well, let's say I can't see him as anything but a prude virgin, unless Vincent molested him in his sleep at some point but that would be just creepy even if not impossible. After all, it's Vincent. :V So yeah. Oh and I guess, since his birthday is unknown, I also headcanon his Zodiac sign as being Cancer; his whole personality seems to be fitting that of a Water sign and the stereotypical Cancer features include shyness, easily lost coolness and hiding as well as general moe and kindness.
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Action Writing Sample:
[On the screen, a young man sitting down with his back against the Himorogi Tree can be seen. He has wavy, past-ears length black hair and what sticks out in his clothing is a like-last-century-nobility-like scarf and shirt, white gloves and a long black coat. He also has what looks like a low top hat on his head, but it's hanging on the side and seemingly is about to fall off. There's also a half-smoked cigarette in his mouth, but it seems like it's no longer burning. In a moment, he slowly opens his eyes, which turn out to be a golden yellow colour, blinks, and just stares up at the branches and sky for a while.]
...
[He frowns a little bit and takes the cigarette out of his mouth, glancing around and looking absolutely confused. Is.. is this some sort of a trick? Abyss related? A dream? Who knows. He surely doesn't.]
...what?
[He scratches the back of his head with his hand, and, unfortunately, that makes the hat foll of and roll a couple of meters away. The man flinches a bit and motions after it without even bothering to get up first, but as he reaches for a hat, he freezes for a moment.]
[Right in front of him, there's a cow.]
[That's right.]
[A cow.]
[And from the way it's reaching for the hat with its snout, it looks like it's about to pick it up. The man looks positively unhappy about it.]
Hey, now, don't-- don't touch that!
[He tries to snatch it away, however the cow rapidly turns and happily trots off around the tree with the hat, while the guy ends up with his face implanted into the ground and twitching a bit. Why that --! He quickly gets up, briefly dusting himself off and rushing after the animal.]
W-wait, you stupid cow!
[Maybe the gods are displeased with the badmouthing of the holy animal, but the next moment a kitten falls down somewhere from the branches of the Tree and lands right on the guy's head.]
[And he suddenly freezes, not even breathing, and slowly turns his eyes up to see just what is the sudden weight on his head even though he's got a very good idea due to established senses for similar things, while the kitten scrambles forwards a bit to look down at his face curiously.]
Meow?
[There's a moment of silence when the world seems to have stopped entirely.]
...
[And then it breaks.]
C-C-C-CAT?!
[For the next few moments, you can see a very distressed guy flailing and running around the tree in cirlces, in what has to be absolute panic. Eventually, the kitten jumps off and the next moment it sprints away as the man twitches and rapidly blasts after it out of a pistol, his expression looking as if it was the devil itself assaulting him. He sighs with relief, still shaking a bit, once the cute little animal is finally out of sight, and looks almost a bit embarrassed as he hides the gun again.]
[And look, the cow is back, from the opposite side of the tree, and looks at him very meaningfully before spitting the hat out into his hands. He scoffs, looks at the hat, then at the cow, and then sighs a little.]
Thank you, I guess.
[He rubs the cowed edge of the hat with his sleeve before putting it back on and then finally seems to notice the Hitomi, leaning down to pick it up.]
...
[Even though he's not saying anything, it's pretty clear his reaction is 'What is this?' as he looks at it with a small frown, then tries pressing some of the buttons and in a moment the feed cuts off.]
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Third Person Writing Sample:
He indifferently looks at the pitiful shape on the floor where it has scrambled as soon as it realized who sent him, and it looks horrifiedly back at the barrel of his gun. The room is rather dark, and this part of the mansion is empty around this time; everything according to plan, one could say. There is nothing interfiering with the Nightray objectives; getting this man out of the way, that is. Except... except the fact that he's never done this before, no matter how accurately he's learned to wield a gun.
Shooting at a target and at a living, breathing person is not quite the same thing.
Imagining it is not doesn't help much.
„Please, no,“ the pitiful shape speaks, its eyes widened.
Gilbert feels his hands trembling just a little, the revolver still pointed at the person, and swears mentally as he feels tears are about to pile up. Maybe that's exactly what encouraged the target to speak, hoping to be spared, seeing his hesitation; but there is simply no possibility for that anymore. When on a task like this, you simply must kill those who recognized both you and your intentions, and he knows that, yet... A couple of seconds pass, feeling like eons, yet the silence isn't disrupted.
Why must it be so hard? He.. he needs to be strong if he ever wants to be able to save his master, failure is not an option, ever. He can't stop here. It doesn't matter what it would turn him into. If he wants to preserve his hope, he needs to become cruel to everything else. He has to, has to, has to...
A single shot echoes through the mansion.
Gilbert stares at the shape which finally stopped moving, now just laying there, oh there's blood as well; his now visibly shaking hands are still holding the pistol aimed at where the person's head just was. Then it just drops with a loud clang, and he barely keeps himself from sinking to his knees, gripping onto a chair's back and leaning over it, covering his face with one hand.
Dead. The man is dead. He killed him. Did something that one human being should never do to another.. And it feels like he just shot through his own heart. He suddenly feels sick and hunches over the chair, gritting his teeth, tears finally escaping.
Why must it be so hard?
He looks at the shape again, this time feeling strangely distant towards everything what happened. Maybe it gets easier with time. Maybe, but it doesn't help the fact that he had just killed someone.
Is it really the first time?..
His eyes widen, horrified at the mere thought, because he definitely has had the intention before, even if he's certain he never carried it through. Otherwise, he wouldn't be feeling like this now, too. It would be easier, easier... For some reason, it feels like his head is hurting, and he doesn't know why, but he tries to force himself to straighten up because if he lets himself go right now he will fail. He should hurry up now; somebody was ought to hear that. He leans down to pick the gun and then silently heads out the same way he had sneaked in, now shaking like a leaf, and eventually breaks into a run.
He runs into someone and jumps back, eyes wide, and nearly drops his gun again as he recognizes it's one of the Nightray people.
„Did you find him?“ the person asks calmly.
Gilbert can't force any words from his mouth, but he nods and somehow manages to put the gun back into the holster. It feels big and heavy right now. Maybe his looks are proof enough he has done what he had to, as the person doesn't ask anything else and simply puts a hand on his shoulder to guide him as they start walking towards where the carriage is waiting.
Of course they wouldn't let him off on his own like that. There were people making sure he carried the task out and didn't get caught. Until he manages on his own, that is.
He still doesn't feel like he can talk.
By the time they reach the mansion, he at least has stopped shaking.
He doesn't really pay attention to anything anyone is saying until he's finally dismissed and reaches his room.
„Is everything alright, Gil?“
He slowly turns towards the familiar voice; Vince is in the doorway, leaning against the frame and looking rather concerned. His hair has grown longer, but just like so many times before, there's a plush toy in his hands. A rabbit. It gives out an eerie feeling for some reason, but it's also his little brother, and that makes everything a little better.
He just nods a little and sits down on the bed, lowering his head and burying his face in his hand.
Vince seems to smile a bit for a moment and walks in almost soundlessly, crouching down in front of him and looking at his face while he looks back, almost emptily.
„Big Brother completed a job today,“ he says softly. It's not a question, but Gilbert nods anyway. It's a nice change to have someone care about you here while all the older adoptive brothers look at especially him like he was a dirt. „It's alright, Gil. It can't be helped. You're kind, but you can be cruel when you have to. Don't forget that.“ Gilbert finally raises his head, looking a bit surprised; why does he think he was ever cruel?
„How --“
Vincent just smiles innocently at him. „Don't worry,“ he says and wraps his arms around Gilbert in a hug. „You'll feel better soon.“
Gilbert swallows and stops himself from backing away, because at this point it almost feels like he needs it. „Vince,“ he mutters. „Have you... also.. I mean...“ He really seems awfully chipper about it. Did he also already erase someone and not find it difficult at all? Little brother can be a bit scary.
„Hm?“ Vince tilts his head a bit, and then finally lets go, backing off a little to just sit at his side once again. The small smile is still on his face. „Yup. It was a bit upsetting, but then I told myself, 'I will do this for Gil!' And then it was alright.“
Little brother can be scary maybe more than just a bit with his ultimate answer to everything. Not to mention it's never possible to guess what he thinks.. Gilbert grimaces a little and keeps silent for a while; Vincent gets up and softly skips towards the door however stops and turns back as he hears his brother's voice, „How do you do it, Vince?“ The question is very vague, but Vincent takes pride in understanding his brother from half a word, unlike the latter, and smiles again.
„It's simple, Gil,“ he explains and looks indifferently at the plush rabbit. „It's really a very useful thing. Don't you think so?“ Gilbert watches him with eyes just a little bit widened, while Vince takes the toy by its ears and lightly presses open scissors to its neck. „I know it very well, and so do you, right? That to protect the person most important to you, you need to learn to close your heart, and if needed, --“
Click.
„-- kill everyone else.“
He laughs silently with a small shrug, still smiling, while the body of the plush rabbit hits the floor almost in an eerie slowmotion with a soft thud, and Gilbert stares at the scene in horror, even if he can't quite place it.
Why do these things affect him so much?
Vince is definitely saying the truth, though. If he wants to get back that light, to protect it, he mustn't hesitate to protect it to the fullest. He is not going to lose again. Oz is going to return to this world, and Gilbert will make sure nothing hurts him. And for that, it doesn't matter how much blood is spilled. He will close the lid on his heart and do whatever is needed to protect the most important person --
„I really like when Gil has that determined face on,“ Vincent chirps lightly, smiling and petting Gilbert's head, still holding the rabbit's ears in his other hand. „It's so much more like him~“
He leaves. Gilbert doesn't move and just looks forth, the tears now gone completely.
If he has to, he will.
~